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EIGHT DAYS OUT 
 
 BY 
 
 M. A. 
 
 fUjL^yiM^ -, 7)^e>^/^^<^ GJmsu^ 
 
 ^^£^' 
 
 CHICAGO 
 CHARLES H. KERR & COMPANY 
 175 Monroe Street 
 1895 
 
Copyright 1894, ty 
 
 M. A. Richardson 
 
 
 F5I/ 
 
PREFACE 
 
 This book was not written at the suggestion of 
 many friends, who were longing for a few Hnes of 
 my composition, neither was it done with the ex- 
 pectation that I could give a better description of 
 what I have seen or heard than the reader could 
 give, but was done to pass time pleasantly. 
 
 The eight days I was out I took note of such 
 scenery as was interesting to me, also of what 
 happened, whether I saw or heard it, and give it 
 without any attempt to follow the usual mode of 
 similar narrations. Much of the gorgeous display 
 which I came in contact with I pass unrr.entioned, 
 for, to me, it was not interesting, while I have dwelt 
 on some subjects which will doubtless be tiresome 
 to others. 
 
 I found on this trip, as I have experienced all my 
 life, that the most interesting people are the quiet 
 ones, whom it is not easy to engage in conversa- 
 
 3 
 
4 PREFACE 
 
 tion. A talkative person is like a public convey- 
 ance, which, even if on a g^rand scale, is not de- 
 sirable, because it is common. Probably my in- 
 genuity, if I have any, is better adapted to one 
 particular mode of writing than any other, but as 
 I don't know which that is I have attempted 
 whatever came before me, the tragical, de- 
 scriptive, humorous, sentimental, and have even 
 attempted to tell a yarn, which I hope none of my 
 mutual friends will insinuate is not my first at- 
 tempt. 
 
 The obvious fact, that we all view subjects from 
 different standpoints, gives rise to a diversity cf 
 opinions, but if we all thought alike this world 
 would be the abode of nonchalant drones. So 
 let us respect the views of others and not attempt 
 to enforce our own, ever remembering that char- 
 ity, like a soft ray of sunshine in the gloom, is never 
 unwelcome, but often changes a wayward course 
 to one of usefulness. 
 
CONTENTS 
 
 Page 
 
 Philip and his Baggage 7 
 
 She HAD Danced With Jesse James 16 
 
 Mackinac Island 34 
 
 Philip Throws Up 50 
 
 Captain Green's Unvarnished Tale 58 
 
 Sault Ste. Marie, or the "Soo" ,., 77 
 
 Philip jumps from the Frying Pan into the 
 
 FIRE 87 
 
 Encounter with a Bear 94 
 
 Philip Gets Left ^^7 
 
 Voyage Through Eternity. Among Other 
 
 worlds ^^7 
 
 Inhabitants of a Strange World 14*^ 
 
EIGHT DAYS OUT 
 
 PHILIP AND HIS BAGGAGE 
 
 "Precisely so," said Philip Parkins, as we up- 
 braided him for being late. "I know, gentlemen, 
 that it was a close call, and had I not been a close 
 calculator I would have been left. Really I have 
 had my hands full since last Wednesday morning, 
 when I decided to accompany you on this trip to 
 Mackinac Island and the *Soo. ' I can assure you 
 that I was up all night packing my trunks, and had 
 everything ready at 8 o'clock, but the expressman 
 was nearly half an hour late, and when I told him 
 we had to make the Rush Street Bridge Dock be- 
 fore 9 o'clock he shrugged his shoulders and said: 
 " 'Kaunt be did fur love nur money, Mister.' 
 " 'Can't do it?' said I. 'Why, it's only three miles, 
 and you have nearly half an hour; grab hold and 
 load them in.' But he didn't budge. 
 
 7 
 
8 EIGHT D/lYS OUT 
 
 " 'Oss flesh is mighty sca'ce,' he said, *and you 
 'ave a truck load here. If you spect me to race my 
 hanimalto land you and your load of trumpery for 
 'alf a dollar, you've figured wrong.' 
 
 " 'Make it a dollar, then,' said I, 'only get them 
 in quickly.' 
 
 " *Naw,' said he, 'make it three, and pay me 
 before I start, or I don't titch them.' And that 
 was what made us come with such a rush." 
 
 "But, Philip," said I, "what upon earth are 
 you doing with so much baggage.? Sam, Billy 
 and myself, have only a small grip-sack each; 
 you know we are out only for a week." 
 
 "Precisely so, Mr. R — ; you may be so con- 
 stituted as to make yourself happy wherever 
 you are dropped, regardless of surrounding cir- 
 cumstances. If you have no clean shirt I sup- 
 pose that you are thankful that you have a soiled 
 one, but, unfortunately, I am not put up in that 
 way. I must have things comfortable or I get ner- 
 vous, so I have brought along everything needful, 
 not forgetting my pocketbook. This is my first 
 outing, so after figuring the expense in a liberal 
 way, I slipped an extra one hundred dollars in 
 my pocket, that I might not be a burden on your 
 hands; at least in that direction." 
 
PHILIP AND HIS BAGGAGE 9 
 
 As the beautiful steamer "Manitou" moved away 
 from the wharf, Philip looked back towards the 
 landing with an eager, worried expression, fearing 
 he had either lost a package, or forgotten some- 
 thing which would have been very essential. 
 
 Half a dozen men and boys were called in, to 
 convey his trumpery to his state-room; he giving 
 strict orders to this or that apparently careless 
 boy, not to press the package, but to hold it right 
 side up. 
 
 His disappointment was great when he learned 
 that trunks were not allowed in sleeping apart- 
 ments. He shrugged his shoulders in disgust as 
 he muttered to himself: "Dogs not allowed in 
 the park; children not allowed on the grass; trunks 
 not allowed in the rooms; altogether too arbi- 
 trary." 
 
 After being pleasantly ensconced in his seem- 
 ingly close quarters, with his boxes, bundles 
 and packages placed in corners, on racks, in the 
 windows, or hung on hooks, he invited us to take 
 seats and consider ourselves his guests for the pres- 
 ent. Touching the electric bell, it was quickly 
 answered by a fine appearing colored gentleman, 
 whom he tipped with a dollar, saying: "That is 
 for the four; now remember that you are not to 
 
10 EIGHT DAYS OUT 
 
 look these gentlemen in the face as if they owed 
 you something; they have traveled, but this is my 
 first outing; bring us a card table." 
 
 Then turning to us he continued, "I should have 
 brought my own table, but you advised me to 
 bring only what was actually necessary — 
 
 "Is that the largest card table you have?" 
 
 "All one size, sir," replied the obedient servant. 
 
 "Well, I suppose that will do. Now bring us a 
 pitcher of ice water — Hold! hold! come back, 
 waiter!" 
 
 "Yes, sah.?" 
 
 "How am I supposed to get to my trunks.?" 
 
 "I will direct you as often as you please; it will 
 be a pleasure to do so, sah." 
 
 "Here,tcike this key, it will unlock the smallest 
 trunk. In the substantial partition, at the right 
 hand side, you will find a number of square bot- 
 tles, all plainly labeled. Bring us the one marked, 
 'Old Rye.'" 
 
 "All right, sah." 
 
 "Stop! stop him, Mr. R., call him back (that 
 quick move looks suspicious)." 
 
 "Sah.?" queried the darky, as he returned with 
 a somewhat disturbed countenance, which in- 
 dicated an invisible flushed face. 
 
PHILIP AND HIS BAGGAGE 11 
 
 "Perhaps," said Philip with a sanctimonious air, 
 "I had better accompany you, as the locI< is out 
 of order, and you might not be able to open it 
 without trouble." 
 
 "Take right hold, drink hearty, gentlemen — 
 what, none of you wish to indulge? Well — yes — 
 yes, as you say, it is too early in the day, but as you 
 say, Mr. R — , it will be just the thing for .special 
 occasions, hunting, fishing, &c, for we must take 
 our chances of a swim in the rapids, a battle with 
 the Indians, or a chase from a she bear." 
 
 "Really, Mr. Parkins," said Mr. N — , "do you 
 understand this to be a dangerous tour? I take it 
 to be a pleasure trip from which we will encounter 
 no danger, barring accidents. What is your opin- 
 ion?" he said, turning to me. 
 
 "Of course," I replied, "on occasions like these 
 we expect to encounter dangers; that is what we 
 are out for; it is the romantic part — one might say 
 the one ideal hope that we may return home after 
 having experienced hair-breadth escapes. To be 
 sure,there is danger,great danger; the hope of our 
 return is based on good luck, but I agree with Mr. 
 Parkins that the chances of our return are — well 
 one might say, a little in our favor." 
 
 "Is it your real opinion Mr. R-— ." inquired Mr. 
 Parkins, "that we are — ?" 
 
12 EIGHT DAYS OUT 
 
 "Oh, please call me M. A." said I, "don't let 
 us be loaded down with "Mr." when we are out 
 on a lark. That prefix, Mister, ought never 
 to be used in social circles; it acts like a sinker 
 attached to a kite. Of course it will always have 
 its place in the way of an introduction, but to be 
 used among one's equals, in every-day life, sounds 
 too much like those outrageous titles with which 
 they are hampered in the old country. Please 
 call me 'M. A.' and I will call you 'Phil.' We 
 want to be free and easy when traveling, and en- 
 gage in conversation with any good appearing per- 
 son whom we find at our elbow. Begin by relat- 
 ing a brief, interesting experience of your own, 
 and if he has ever traveled he will reciprocate, or 
 perhaps introduce you to a friend v\ ho has traveled 
 over the route you are taking, and can give you 
 valuable information which cannot be found in 
 books — excuse me, gentlemen, I have thoughtlessly 
 diverged from the subject. As far as the danger 
 is concerned, it depends upon what course we 
 take, for there are two ways of traveling. One is, 
 purchase all the reading matter obtainable which 
 throws light on the route you have laid out for 
 your trip; don't go on deck while on a steamer, 
 for the lake breeze tans one so. Stop at one of 
 
PHILIP AND HIS BAGGAGE 13 
 
 the most fashionable hotels, and instruct the por- 
 ter to procure your conveyance, and instruct your 
 driver to pass the most noted places. When once 
 in your carriage or canoe, order all the tops up 
 and the curtains down; this will keep out the dust 
 or spray, and, of course, the fresh air also. Give 
 the guide instructions to make the trip as short as 
 possible, which he would have done without your 
 advice. Charge him not to forget to call out dis- 
 tinctly, as he passes, the name of each objective 
 point of interest, which must be dotted down with 
 great care. This class of tourists can be easily dis- 
 tinguished by their exactness of distances, dates 
 and dimensions. Their information is very reli- 
 able; they are extremely interesting, because their 
 rehearsals sound so much like the reading of state 
 statistics. 
 
 "The other class are actual observers; those 
 who inquire of the guides and others; leave the 
 carriage, boat, or train at every point of interest. 
 Climb up and down; wade in the water; chase a 
 squirrel through the woods, as if they actually ex- 
 pected to catch him. When they return from a 
 ride the ladies' bangs are whipped out, and the 
 gentlemen's hats, if left, are stove in, and all in 
 the party are full of fun and laughter. Their flushed 
 
14 EIGHT DAYS OUT 
 
 faces would give one the impression that they had 
 had a tussle with a real bear. 
 
 "We expect to be of the latter class. We must 
 climb the Sugar Loaf, where it requires the sharp- 
 est kind of toenails to cling to the rocks; descend 
 the Rapids, just a little further out into the whirl- 
 ing waters than the Indians have ever before ven- 
 tured with their canoes; and make an actual search 
 upon the Canadian Heights, for the young wolves 
 and bears in their dens. It is a little unfortunate, 
 Phil, that j^ou and I were built so much on the 
 Clydesdale plan, for you see we can't sprint — well 
 we won't try, we will climb a tree, and when the 
 animal is eating those other fellows we will quietly 
 slip down and sneak out. I would never have 
 coaxed you to come, Phil, if you had left a family 
 behind." 
 
 "M. A.," said Phil, "what I said about danger 
 was all a joke. What you say about returning to 
 the city with hair-breadth escapes on our tongues 
 might be amusing to our friends, but how about 
 those who encounter the wolves, and nothing is 
 left to tell the tale but their hats and boots.?" 
 
 "Please allow me to have a word in this con- 
 versation," said Sam. "You must not get worked 
 up over this matter, Phil. First, we are not 
 
PHILIP y^ND HIS BAGGAGE 15 
 
 expecting to take much risk. Second, if we'd 
 actually drop into a trap, I'll guarantee that 
 M. A. will be the foremost man in the attempt to 
 escape. Don't you think so, Billy .!*" 
 
 "Certainly I do," was the reply. "M. A. talks 
 like a wooden man; I have heard him talk before. 
 The idea of climbing rocks and hanging on with 
 his toenails, and entering wild animals' dens, 
 why — " 
 
 "You aie sensible, Billy," broke in Phil, "and now 
 laying all joking aside, I want one of you to lay 
 out the program for to-morrow, so we will know 
 what to expect when we get to the Island." 
 
 "That is simple enough," said Sam. "I under- 
 stand that teams are in waiting which will take us 
 to all the points of interest. The first day we will 
 take in the sights of the Island, and the next we 
 will board one of the little steamers and go over to 
 the Snow Islands, fishing,but now let us go to sup- 
 per and be ready for the entertainment, which is to 
 take place in the cabin this evening, 
 
SHE HAD DANCED WITH JESSE JAMES. 
 
 The evening passed off pleasantly. Mrs. — from 
 Chicago played and sang several selections, of 
 which the audience showed their appreciation. We 
 were also favored by the M— Quartet, that sang 
 and recited both humorous and sentimental pieces. 
 
 A comical selection, Title, "The Sensitive Bride," 
 was sung, of which the chorus ran something like 
 this: 
 
 For she wore red stockings and hair to match, 
 
 I called her my Angel, my darling Kose Hatch; 
 
 But I chanced once to call her "Old Sorrel Top Rose," 
 
 And that's why I'm nursing this poor broken nose. 
 
 This song hred the emotion of an elderly Texan 
 Ranger, who stood near me, and he remarked that 
 it reminded him of the old Missouri favorite song, 
 "Joe Bowers," which his brother-in-law sang at 
 Mon^lova in 1877, the night that the James Boys 
 came there to the "Fandango," 
 
 16 
 
SHE HAD DANCED IVITH JESSE JAMES 17 
 
 The name of the James Boys naturally excited 
 our attention, and we urged him to tell us any- 
 thing real about the men who had so successfully 
 evaded arrest for over a generation. And even 
 then they were not captured, for one fell a victim 
 to a traitor, and the other, of his own accord, came 
 to the Governor's mansion of the State of Missouri 
 and unfastening his belt, laid his revolvers on the 
 table before the Governor saying, "No living man, 
 but me, has had hand on these revolvers since 
 1861." (21 years.) No one sanctions the un- 
 worthy deeds of an outlaw, but still there is a tinge 
 cf sympathy in the human heart for the un- 
 daunted, even though a bravado criminal, and we 
 all gathered around to learn from an eye-witness 
 something of the brothers whose daring adventures 
 far out-classed any that ever defied the authorities 
 of any civilized nation on earth. 
 
 He begged to be excused on the ground that he 
 had never seen either of the James Boys. His 
 only information about them was what he had 
 heard. "But," he added, "my wife Maria has 
 danced with both of them and she always leans to 
 the side that they were more humane than man}^ 
 who lived within the pale of the law." 
 
 His better half, Maria, was awkwardly endeav- 
 
18 EIGHT D/1YS OUT 
 
 oring to porse on one of the easy Turkish settees, 
 as if that kind of life and surrounding luxury had 
 been her lot since childhood. But overdoing it 
 always gives the thing away, and she was not 
 alcove that weakness which abounds in the human 
 family. The very mention of her name caused her 
 to blush, and she gushingly implored us to excuse 
 her from entertaining, even before she had been 
 called upon. 
 
 Mr. J., her husband, was a swarthy, angular, 
 hard-featured man. He was of that make-up which 
 is often found on the great western plains, awk- 
 ward and rough in appearance, but often just and 
 kind of heart. Maria was more of the Spanish 
 style, and although every motion betrayed her 
 weakness, and showed plainly that she would be 
 more at home riding a Texas steer than among 
 educated people, yet there were traces still remain- 
 ing which could not be questioned that she had 
 once been a beautiful and graceful unpolished type 
 of her sex. Mr. J, explained that for years he had 
 been in the cattle business, and he now owned a 
 ranch of six thousand acres which was well stocked 
 and he and Maria had come North to spend a few 
 dollars and learn the customs of the people whose 
 homes lie on the borders of the great Northern 
 Lakes, 
 
^HE HAD DANCED IVlTH JESSE J AMES 19 
 
 No one doubted his claim to wealth, for the 
 diamond which glittered on the old gent's linen, 
 as well as those which adorned Maria's proud per- 
 son, spoke in a tone which even the deaf never fail 
 to hear. Maria begged her husband to desist from 
 mentioning her connections, as she called it, with 
 the James Boys, but said that if we thought it 
 would be interesting, she would relate the facts 
 concerning the tragedy at Monclova, of which she 
 was an eye-witness. 
 
 At our request she began, and as she entered 
 the subject, which was probably the theme of her 
 life, she proved to be a skillful narrator, and soon 
 forgot the "agony" she was trying to maintain. In 
 her quaint language (which I will not attempt to 
 copy) she laid before us the scene of that awful 
 night as if it had been but yesterday, and we, in 
 part, saw Jesse and Frank James, and heard Jesse's 
 ringing voice of command as the two Missouri boys 
 were about to fight against eighty armed Mexicans. 
 * Her story was something as follows: 
 
 "When I was eighteen years of age we lived in 
 Monclova, in Coahuila, which is in the northern 
 part of Mexico. My Uncle George lived a few 
 doors west of us, whom I had often heard my 
 father talk about, as having passed through many 
 
^6 EIGHT DAYS OUT 
 
 hair-breadth escapes. But father would never 
 tell us any of the particulars, and I grew up in 
 ignorance of what my uncle's former life may have 
 been. One evening I ran in to Uncle George's and 
 found him in high glee over the arrival of two old 
 friends, whom he introduced to me as 'Smith and 
 Anderson,' but who proved to be the brothers, 
 Frank and Jesse James. They were probably 
 about thirty or thirty-five years cf age, but looked 
 quite boyish, even younger than they really were. 
 They appeared very gentlemanly, and conversed 
 in such a free and easy manner that after meeting 
 them several evenings I began to enjoy their com- 
 pany. 
 
 "One evening when a party of ten or fifteen 
 had gathered at uncle's house, the conversation 
 drifted to the bold desperadoes, Frank and Jesse 
 James, who, only a few days previous, had while 
 passing through a village near our town, been 
 discovered by a troop of Mexicans, who attempted 
 to capture them The bandits fled from the vil- 
 lage pursued by a dozen or more armed men, 
 who were not a little surprised to see the two 
 lone horsemen turn around and face them. As 
 the pursuers approached the bandits began firing, 
 and at each shot a man fell from his horse, until 
 
SHE HAD DANCED IVITH JESSE JAMES 23 
 
 four men lay sprawling on the ground, when the 
 Mexicans turned and fled. As they did so the ban- 
 dits followed after them, sending bullets which 
 sped their way not astray, leaving two more dead 
 before they continued their journey. Ten men 
 then rode around the mountain and concealed 
 themselves in ambush, hoping to take them una- 
 wares, but the bandits discovered them and ac- 
 tually charged on them, killing one and dispersing 
 the others, 
 
 "While the facts were being related, the 
 brothers listened so attentively that one would 
 have thought it was the first time they had ever 
 heard the name of the James Boys mentioned. 
 
 " 'I,' said Smith, 'would like to join a party of 
 five or six, and capture those outlaws; I consider 
 myself a good shot under ordinary circumstances — 
 of course in a case of emergency I might get ner- 
 vous, but if we hear of them again I hope it will 
 be so I can have a hand in the business.' 
 
 " 'Talk is cheap,' said Anderson, 'but I don't 
 want any of that in mine. Possibly they are 
 in this neighborhood now — isn't it a pity they 
 could not be caught and punished.? Don't you 
 think soV he said, addressing me. 
 
 " *I am not afraid of them,' I answered; 'they 
 
24 EIGHT DAYS OUT 
 
 never hurt the women, but I would give anything 
 to see such awful men.' 
 
 "He laughed as he said, 'Miss, the shock might 
 kill you,' and so the evening passed away. Before 
 the gathering broke up it was decided that my 
 uncle was to give a fandango in honor of his 
 guests before they returned north. 
 
 "My father did not know who the strangers were, 
 but I think he mistrusted that they were boys wlio 
 belonged to the famous Quantrell's Gorilla Band, 
 for he warned me not to trust the strangers. I 
 will confess that not only myself, but several of 
 the young ladies in the neighborhood enjoyed the 
 company of these young men, whom no one seemed 
 to know, only that they were friends of my Uncle 
 George. 
 
 "Jesse was my first partner at the fandango, or 
 ball, and Frank danced with Sue Lessner. About 
 lo o'clock father came into the ballroom and beck- 
 oned me to go out with him. We had been enjoy- 
 ing ourselves so much that I did not feel as if I 
 could spare the time to comply with his request^ 
 but I asked Mr. Anderson (Jesse) to excuse me, 
 and followed father. You can never, in the least, 
 imagine my surprise and feelings when he told me 
 that the two strangers were Frank and Jesse James; 
 
SHE HAD DINGED IVITH JESSE JAMES 25 
 
 that they had been identified by a young American 
 from Matehuala. 
 
 "He said that the American authorities 
 had out an offer of Fifty Thousand Dollars 
 reward for their capture, also Captain Macy 
 still held out his reward of One Thousand Dollars 
 each. He also informed me that a detachment 
 of eighty men had been mustered in, who had al- 
 ready surrounded the house, and that their escape 
 was impossible, and that I must not return. 
 
 "I had always gladly obeyed my father, but this 
 time I obeyed the dictates of my own conscience, 
 and immediately returned to the ballroom. As I 
 passed through the door I saw the cruel soldiers 
 with guns guarding the door, and could see their 
 murderoub revolvers hanging by their sides. I soon 
 discovered that the brothers were aware of the 
 trouble, for they were unusually J0II3' and managed 
 to keep on the move every moment. I put myself 
 in Jesse's way for the next set, determined to tell 
 him all, and give them a chance to sell their lives 
 as dearly as possible. 
 
 "I think he knew he could trust me, for he carried 
 my hand in his to the other end of the room as he 
 said: 'Maria, my mother is a brave woman, she 
 is the best woman on earth — you are a brave girl, 
 I know you are.' 
 
^6 EIGHT DAYS OUT 
 
 "I then turned and looked him squarely in the 
 face and tried to begin, but he said, 'Hush!' 
 
 "He and Frank both wore short, loose coats 
 which looked like hunting coats and they looked 
 neat and respectable. Not a trace, either in 
 their looks or demeanor, betrayed them to be 
 the awful men which they were. I had from the 
 first respected them, but as they stood so quiet, 
 and yet so brave, under such circumstances, I ac- 
 tually admired them. I could see no weapons, and 
 cannot now understand how they carried their re- 
 volvers unless they were fastened to a belt very 
 tight around their waists. Jesse excused himself, 
 and he and Frank stepped to the back window and 
 I hoped they were about to escape, but they soon 
 returned. 
 
 "It was several moments before the set was 
 formed, and oh! what awful moments to me! I 
 do believe that I have never been the same person 
 since. If my hair did not turn gray, my heart was 
 growing cold, and I have never doubted that had 
 the opportunity presented itself, I should have 
 thrown myself between those men and death and 
 received the fatal missile myself. 
 
 "However bad Jesse might be, he still loved the 
 mother who bore him, and whatever crimes they 
 
SHE H/ID DANCED mTH JESSE JAMES 27 
 
 may have committed they had certainly done no 
 one harm since they came to Monclova. 
 
 "As I looked upon the two harmless appearing 
 young men, who, as I understood, were about to 
 be murdered, or to be deprived of their freedom, 
 only to await the gallows, I could see only one 
 cause for the coming tragedy, and that was the 
 mighty dollar. While we were still waiting, as 
 Jesse would not listen to me, I walked directly 
 over to Frank, and was about to address him, but 
 the music started and I was compelled to return 
 for my set. When we began to move on the floor 
 I tried to act natural, but I was so weak that I 
 could not. Jesse noticed it, and several times gave 
 me a little shake; I think it was to encourage me, 
 but I was growing weaker and was about to faint 
 —when the door was unceremoniously burst open, 
 and I saw the officer coming toward us. As he 
 approached, for some unaccountable reason my 
 strength returned and I was not so much alarmed. 
 The two victims stood side by side as the stately 
 officer, followed by his guards, with their weapons 
 drawn, strode into the room. 
 
 "At first all stood as if spell-bound, and no 
 one spoke except the German fiddler, who 
 said, 'Vas ish all dis,? We don't got dot on de 
 
^8 EIGHT DAYS OUT 
 
 program.' I expected to see the Drothers 
 draw their weapons as the officers approached, 
 but they did nothing of the kind; they stood 
 in a defenseless way as the soldiers came 
 near, and the officer said: 'In the name of the 
 Mexican Government I demand your surrender.' 
 
 "And the brothers smiled in his face. 
 
 '"Will you peacefully surrender?' he inquired. 
 
 "'Never,' was Frank's calm reply. 
 
 "With that the officer motioned his guard to 
 move forward. 
 
 "'Stop!' exclaimed Jesse, and the officer mo- 
 tioned his guard to halt. 
 
 '"I have a proposition to submit,' said Jesse, 
 'will you hear it.?' 
 
 '"If it means surrender, yes, 'replied the officer. 
 
 "'It is this,' said Jesse, 'that you permit the 
 ladies to retire, and then we will discuss the ques- 
 tion with you.' 
 
 "'I,' said the officer, 'shall be compelled—' 
 
 "'I say let the ladies retire!' again exclaitned 
 Jesse, and he spoke in that confidential, command- 
 ing tone of one who had the power to enforce his 
 command. The officer seemed distuibed, and I 
 never could determine in my mind, whether he 
 acquiesced out of the respect he held for the ladies, 
 
0) 
 
 fe 
 
SHE H/tD DANCED IVITH JESSE JAMES 31 
 
 or if it might be that when he found himself face 
 to face with the notorious James Boys, and they 
 had defied him to do his worst, only insisting that 
 the ladies retire before the battle commenced, that 
 his strength failed him. Instead of ordering them 
 seized, as I expected, he began a parley, stating 
 that the house was surrounded by eighty armed 
 men, and that resistance was useless, but Jesse 
 repeated again, in a commanding voice, 'I say let 
 the ladies retire. ' 
 
 "I was then looking at the two men who still 
 stood with open hands and apparently in a defense- 
 less manner. When he spoke he looked at the 
 door as if to see if they were going, I glanced at 
 the door and instantly turned back my head to 
 behold the harmless appearing Missouri boys, on 
 the defense, armed with glistening revolvers, the 
 smoke already rising from Jesse's weapon, from 
 which it had sent a bullet through the heart of the 
 commanding oi^cer. Bang! bang! bang! came 
 three more successive reports and four men lay 
 writhing in the agonies of death, while all the others 
 in the room were attempting to make their escape. 
 Instantly Frank flashed his shining weapon to one 
 side — a sharp report — a jingle of glass from the 
 only oil lamp, — and we were in darkness. What 
 
32 EIGHT DAYS OUT 
 
 I said or did amid the confusion that followed I 
 cannot remember, but it is not improbable that I 
 may have shouted, 'Hurrah for old Missouri!' 
 
 "In the darkness all made a break for the street, 
 the Mexicans fleeing from the bandits, and the 
 bandits escaping from the Mexicans. The soldiers 
 could not shoot unless they shot promiscuously into 
 the crowd, and, for reasons best known to them- 
 selves, they fled pell-mell before the throng, of 
 which the James Boys were probably in thelead.The 
 news spread like wild-fire and soon the inhabitants 
 of Monclova were up in arms to defend themselves 
 against supposed hundreds of hireling murderers 
 who were about to massacre all the inhabitants 
 of the town. It was 2 o'clock in the morning be- 
 fore the Monclovaites thought of the blooded horses 
 which belonged to the James Boys, and then there 
 was a grand (cautious) rush for the stable where 
 the horses were known to have been kept. 
 
 "They found the hostler asleep; he had not heard 
 of any trouble, but said the two young Americans 
 had called in the night and taken their horses and 
 rifles, but they seemed to be in no hurry. They 
 had made close inquiry as to the feeding of the 
 animals, after which they had watered them and 
 called for a brush and slicked their manes and tails 
 
SHE HAD DANCED IVITH JESSE JAMES 33 
 
 before they mounted. As they were about to start 
 he heard one of them say — 
 
 "'I say, Frank, this is a lively little town, isn't 
 it?' 
 
 "'Yes it is, Jesse, 'replied the other, 'we have had 
 lots of fun here this evening; I wonder if they will 
 miss us in the morning?' 
 
 "Then they started up the mountain on a slow 
 trot. 
 
 "There," said Maria, "that is all I know about 
 them." Then heaving a sigh she concluded,"! have 
 since learned that the cause of the James Boys' 
 conduct W'HS at least in part owing to the cruel 
 treatment which their inoffensive parents received 
 at the hands of the authorities." 
 
MACKINAC ISLAND 
 
 Long before we were in sight of the Island, Phil 
 was busy packing his trunks, and running with par- 
 cels and bundles through the cabin, preparatory 
 to leaving the boat. He had insinuated that he 
 did not intend to be late again, "on this /;-//," but 
 when the boat landed he was not quite ready. 
 
 He had decided at the last moment that it was 
 unbecoming to appear at a strange hotel in ruffied 
 linen, so he had attempted to make the shift, and 
 had not the Captain been very accommodating, Mr. 
 Parkins would have continued his journey while 
 we stopped at the Island. The trunks were ashore, 
 and we had gathered up all the little parcels and 
 stood waiting on the dock when the last bell 
 sounded, just as Phil came on a run with his silk 
 hat on the back of his head, shirt collar in his 
 hand, and one suspender dragging. 
 
 34 
 
MAGKlf^AC ISLAND 35 
 
 Mackinac Island is situated about 30 miles north- 
 east of Mackinaw City, and a little to the north- 
 west of the approach of the extremes of upper and 
 lower Michigan. 
 
 Quite a pretty legend is connected with the Is- 
 land. It is to this effect: — Once upon a time an 
 Indian maiden Oweenee, the youngest of ten sis- 
 ters, married an old man, Osseo, whom her sis- 
 ters derided. The old man was one day transfig- 
 ured into a youth, and Oweenee became old and 
 decrepit, but still he loved her and called her Ne- 
 ne-moosh-a (my sweetheart). One evening they 
 were all assembled at a hunter's lodge, with whom 
 they were to feast and be happy, but Osseo was 
 unhappy on account of Oweenee's condition, and 
 he gazed heavenward and prayed. 
 
 Soon strange voices were heard and the lodge 
 began to tremble and they were raised above the 
 clouds and trees, far away to the evening star. 
 
 Oweenee and her sisters became shining birds, 
 with the beauty of starlight, and she bore a son 
 who was an archer. One day he shot one of the 
 birds, which proved to be his aunt, at which the 
 spell was broken and they began sinking, down, 
 down, until they found themselves on the Island 
 of Mish-in-e-mok-ok-ong, or land of spirits, from 
 
36 EIGHT DAYS OUT 
 
 which the Island derived its name. On bright 
 moonlight evenings their lodge is still seen, and 
 their voices heard: — so say the natives. 
 
 The first church was built on the Island about 
 1780. Soon after John Jacob Astor made the 
 Island the trading point of the American Fur Com- 
 pany. In 1 783, by the treaty between The United 
 States and Great Britain, Mackinac fell within 
 the boundaries of the United States, but the Eng- 
 lish refused to withdraw their forces until 1796. 
 During the war of 181 2, while the fort was held 
 with less than sixty United States troops, the Brit- 
 ish came upon the Island from the north with a 
 force of about 1,000 men, and took up a position on 
 the heights which overlooked Fort Mackinac. 
 
 They threw up breastworks around about an 
 acre of ground, as a protection against the on- 
 slaught of 57 Yankees. The embankment still re- 
 mains and is called Fort Holmes. 
 
 The breastworks which enclosed the fort are about 
 five or six feet high and six feet across the top. 
 The prints made by the wheels of the cannon, as 
 they were placed in position, are still plainly visi- 
 ble. It is nicely grassed over, and if undisturbed, 
 will remain a very interesting relic as the ages go 
 by. Each summer, strangers will come, and stand 
 
View of Fort Holmes. — Page 36. 
 
MACKINAC ISLAND 39 
 
 on the old fort; they will speak more politely, ac- 
 cent their words more correctly, drop many plain 
 words and supply new ones, until the time will 
 come when the tourist of the future, standing on 
 the fort to greet the tourist of to-day, would be 
 unable to comprehend our brogue, and still the 
 fort will have the same history. The Island con- 
 tains about 2,000 acres, of which about 1,000 be- 
 longs to the government, and is held as a park. 
 
 On arriving at the dock, one is besieged by a 
 swarm of old and young men and boys, all anxious 
 to take the stranger a trip around the Island to see 
 the sight. One dollar is the price, and no deviation. 
 
 It is to be deplored that many of these would-be 
 guides know very little about the Island or its 
 history. 
 
 Arch Rock was the first point of interest. 
 The clifT proper extends out over the lake, and 
 is said to be 149 feet high. From the outer point 
 the ledge extends north, and through this rock a 
 large opening has been formed, leaving an arch over 
 it about eight feet deep and five feet wide. This 
 natural arch over so large a space is one of the 
 most picturesque that I have ever seen. 
 
 Sugar Loaf was the next point to which we 
 were driven. We found it very interesting; a large 
 
40 EIGHT DAYS OUT 
 
 rock in an opening, said to be 134 feet high, al- 
 though it did not appear to be over 100 feet. It 
 looked like a sugar loaf standing on one end. 
 Twenty feet or more from the base is a hole, or 
 cave, to which visitors ascend by way of a ladder 
 and make themselves at home. 
 
 Directly west of Sugar Loaf is a high promi- 
 nence, called Point Lookout. I concluded that 
 this must be the spot where the Oweeneeans landed 
 when they came back to earth from the Evening 
 Star. 
 
 From this point the lovely green valley, with 
 Sugar Loaf in the center, can be seen. Fort 
 Holmes, before mentioned, is a short distance 
 south of this beautiful outlook. Skull Cave, still 
 west of Point Lookout, is simply an opening in a 
 ledge where Indian skulls and ancient relics were 
 found, which apparently belonged to some long 
 forgotten family. Here I gave a helping hand to 
 several ladies who were desirous of climbing the 
 Skull Cave ledge, and I am frank to confess that 
 the thought of standing in the rock where Indian 
 maidens may have stood while singing the funeral 
 dirge of some forgotten monarch, was not as satis- 
 factory to me as the realization that my attention 
 was appreciated by the fair sex of the present day. 
 
\%i 'm [Tliiill 
 
MACKINAC ISLAND 43 
 
 Lovers' Leap and Devil's Kitchen are situated 
 on the west side of the Island. The Devil's Kitchen 
 is situated just beneath the rock from which the 
 lover is supposed to have leaped. These scenes are 
 not particularly interesting, unless it is suggestive 
 of the thought that many a fair maiden has leaped 
 from a lofty position of comfort and good society 
 to the Devil's Kitchen below, to scrub her life 
 away in poverty and disgrace. Wishing Spring 
 adjoins Devil's Kitchen, where all are supposed to 
 pay their nickel, think of the one you love best, 
 take a drink and wish; but I was too conscientious 
 to indulge in a sweet wish, especially under such 
 "Devilish" circumstances. 
 
 Mackinac Fort commands a view of the harbor 
 and is somewhat interesting. Near the fort is a 
 block-house, or fort, built in 1780. We walked 
 around the southeast corner of the Island to 
 view the wonderful precipice, called Robertson's 
 Folly. The legend concerning that cliff is ro- 
 mantic enough to satisfy the most love-sick goose. 
 The following is the quintessence of the astonish- 
 ing tale: 
 
 Robertson was a gallant English officer, a 
 great admirer of the fair sex, but whose mind, un- 
 fortunately, ran more to the ideal than the real, 
 
44 EIGHT D/tYS OUT 
 
 Evening after evening he followed his phantom 
 sweetheart, and as the orb of day sank to its cradle 
 of sweet rest, and the whip-poor-will's soft notes 
 echoed through glen and vale, she waited — lingered 
 for him amid bowers of love. Her smiles and 
 charms called his soul from nature's tame abode to 
 love's fair dream-land Her loving eyes lured him 
 on until from the high cliff she made her fairy 
 debut, He, like a lover bold, plunged after her, 
 and of course landed among the hemlock boughs 
 below, and broke his neck. 
 
 From that point we followed the beach north 
 to the foot of Arch Rock, the scene before men- 
 tioned. There we discovered an interesting arch, 
 which is not on the program, but is more wonder- 
 ful, and will exist for ages after the renowned arch 
 has crumbled and gone. It is directly under the 
 high cliff, or promenade which extends out into 
 the lake, that tourists walk out upon while viewing 
 the Aich Rock. From the Island the lower arch 
 is not seen, and the guide either does not know of 
 its existence, or is instructed not to mention it, as 
 the tourist might demand five minutes to explore. 
 Two hundred dollars would pay the expense of a 
 winding stairway, down through the principal arch, 
 then under the lower one, and extending to the 
 
View of Arch Rock.— Page 44. 
 
MACKIN/IC ISLAND 47 
 
 lake, which would then be the most picturesque 
 scene on the Island. 
 
 Last, but not least, our attention was called to 
 an old iron cannon whxh rests upon a wooden 
 structure, near the water's edge, in front of the 
 harbor. It is about fifteen feet long, and probably 
 carried a thirty pound ball. I looked at it with 
 admiration. My smile was one of satisfaction. 
 The heart which ever beats fondly for my country, 
 seemed to swell with pride — with a strong will I 
 resisted the temptation to put my arms around 
 the old gun and give it a good hug. The object 
 of my enthusiasm was one of the twenty guns of 
 the famous old Niagara, which was used at Perry's 
 victory on Lake Erie, during the war of 1812. I 
 could not refrain from repeating the following 
 V^erse, which I committed to memory when a 
 schoolboy, concerning that battle. 
 
 "On ths tenth of September, lei us all remember 
 As long as this globe on its axis rolls round, 
 Our tars and marines on Lake Erie were seen, 
 To make the proud flag of Great Britain come down." 
 
 I wish the old gun could be better cared for, 
 and not allowed to rust out, for, any relic used by 
 our forefathers in the great struggle for independ- 
 ence, during life's cloudy morning when our nation 
 
4^ EIGHT DAYS OUT 
 
 was young, will always be interesting, whether 
 it be Perry's gun, Washington's sword, Putnam's 
 hat, or Molly Pitcher's stockings. 
 
 Nature has done much to make this northern 
 resort a popular place of rest. The rates charged 
 are not exorbitant, but the services are unsatisfac- 
 tory. The guides are ignorant, inexperienced, and 
 in an awful hurry to get around and start with 
 another load of passengers. At each point cf in- 
 terest they act as if they had received a fresh 
 telegram to the effect that "Father is dying, twins 
 are born, wife has eloped," or some other little 
 family irregularity, which demanded their imme- 
 diate attention at home. 
 
 We spent one day fishing at Snow Islands, a 
 little group about twenty miles north of Mackinac. 
 
 These daily excursions are delightful, as the fish 
 are very plentiful. In some places the water is 
 so clear that a dime can be seen forty feet from 
 the surface. The fishing is done from little ca- 
 noes, and it is rare sport to watch the swarms of 
 perch play about the hook. Occasionally a big 
 fellow is seen to grab the bait and, of course, this 
 is where the fun comes in. If the lucky one is a 
 lady, she immediately calls for help, and her escort 
 is supposed to drop his fishing tackle and assist 
 
MACKINAC ISLAND 49 
 
 her in landing the prize. Occasionally the lady 
 over-estimates her catch and the fish doesn't weigh 
 over half a pound. 
 
PHILIP THROWS UP 
 
 On boarding the steamer for the "Soo," we had 
 some trouble with Philip's baggage, and it was not 
 his fault either. He began his preparations long 
 before the boat ariived; he shaved and had his 
 boots blacked; silk hat ironed, clean change of 
 linen; porter engaged and distinctly instructed as 
 to each trunk and parcel. As we were waiting for 
 the boat to make her landing, I really did admire 
 Phil's genteel appearance, for we three, having been 
 standing on our heads by a misplaced footing, slid- 
 ing down a cliff on the fiat of our backs, or acci- 
 dentally sitting down in the water, began to look a 
 little shabby, but with Philip at the head we were 
 quite a respectable looking crowd. Phil's face 
 beamed with pride, or a sort of self-satisfaction as 
 the driver arrived with his luggage just in time for 
 the boat's departure. But, for some unaccount- 
 able reason, the dough-head of a porter, as Phil 
 
 50 
 
PHILIP THROIVS UP 51 
 
 called him, had left his largest trunk. We were 
 in a bad fix: the driver did not know anything 
 about it; the Captain could not wait; we could not 
 go without Phil; and he could not go without his 
 trunk. The boat hands began to hustle what 
 baggage he had on board, and PhiHp started on a 
 run to the hotel. He had scarcely turned the 
 corner, when we learned that the big trunk had 
 previously arrived, and was already on board. I 
 started an expressman after him, with the promise 
 of a square dollar, if he could get the unfortunate 
 man there on time. The captain was a good-na- 
 tured, genial kind of man, and although he looked 
 very serious, still there was something about his 
 countenance which betrayed him, and I have no 
 doubt but that he enjoyed the sport. I don't ac- 
 tually believe that he was in much of a hurry, for 
 lake steamers are seldom on time, but no sooner 
 had the rickety old vehicle started after Phil 
 than he began to blow the great steamer's big 
 whistle so awfully loud, that it seemed to shake 
 the little Island of Mackinac to its very center. 
 Toot! toot! toot! squealed a little tug that was 
 lying at the wharf, which seemed inclined to join 
 in the alarm, and then the big whistle began bel- 
 lowing forth its last call. 
 
52 E ght Days our 
 
 Just then the dollar man turned the corner, urg- 
 ing his plug-ugly, which was already at a good stiff 
 canter, into its extreme measure of speed. 
 
 The dock at Macinac is not in the best of re- 
 pair — not intended for a race track, and the run 
 over such a course was attended with no slight 
 disturbance. It not only shook them, but tossed 
 them up to that extent, that broad daylight was vis- 
 ible between the wagon seat and Phil's trousers. 
 As he struck the gang plank he was hauled in with 
 it and cheered by all on board. Phil thought to join 
 in the merriment by jumping up and giving a sort 
 of war-whoop. 
 
 He happened to be standing under a beam which 
 was not more than two inches above his silk hat, 
 and as he ascended his head disappeared, and 
 when he came down his plug hat actually rested 
 on his shoulders, but he began the pawing process, 
 like a dog trying to get off his collar, and with a 
 little assistance was soon relieved. 
 
 As our boat breasted the huge, tumbling waves 
 out on the deep, restless waters, we looked back 
 to the sweet little Island of Mackinac,kissed a good- 
 bye to the few with whom we had become acquaint- 
 ed, and the many whose story we would gladly 
 have learned. As we bore east the wind became 
 
Philip throivs up 5o 
 
 more boisterous, which caused Phil no little trou- 
 ble. 
 
 Our morning ramble and his exciting ride had 
 thrown him into a sort of collapse, and the heavy 
 sea frightened him, but he as usual was ravenously 
 hungry. The sound of the dinner-bell had a won- 
 derful reviving tendency, and we were soon seated 
 at the dinner-table in the magnificent dining-room. 
 We were all hearty, of course, but Phil pitched 
 in like a Methodist Itinerant, who had just returned 
 from a backwoods circuit. After partaking of a 
 dish of soup he ordered boiled lake trout, fried 
 perch and baked white fish. Then he began on 
 his regular meat dinner, roast beef, roast duck and 
 other substantial, with the usual vegetables, and 
 wound up with nicknacks and ice-cream. As we 
 were about finishing our meal the boat gave a 
 tremendous lurch which broke our table from its 
 fastenings, sliding it nearly across the dining- 
 room, 
 
 Philip appeared bewildered, but I assured him 
 that such occurrences were quite usual during 
 a breeze, and that we had only to wait for an- 
 other big wave, when the table would come back 
 to us. But he was in no condition for joking, as 
 he was already beginning to look pale and showed 
 
56 EIGHT DAYS OUT 
 
 other signs of seasickness. We made strenuou^ 
 efforts to conduct him to his room, but when about 
 midway of the rosewood and mahogany furnished 
 cabin, with its velvet plush carpets, he motioned 
 for a water pitcher, but too late. He did look 
 funny; he seemed to have lost all his dignified 
 mien, and without asking to be excused began to 
 heave up. 
 
 The spectacle was too ludicrous — to see our 
 exemplary friend wallowing about, apparently 
 endeavoring to transfer his dinner from the 
 inside to the outside of his person, was more than 
 we could bear, and we cruelly gave way to unre- 
 served laughter. With the assistance of three 
 waiters he was helped to his room, and amid a pro- 
 fusion of towels and napkins, with a wash-bowl on 
 either hand, he was prepared for a fit of seasick- 
 ness. Everything being in readiness, he began to 
 feel better, in fact had passed the critical period, 
 and said he felt as if he was empty to the end of 
 his toes. Sam also began to feel — no, not sea- 
 sick, but he said he was tired and would lie down. 
 By this time many on board seemed to be busy 
 attending to their own affairs; that is, they were 
 watching to see that some other passenger did not 
 steal the dish they were using as a receptacle for 
 their dinner. 
 
PHILIP THROIVS UP hi 
 
 Billy and I worked our way to the bow of the 
 boat, and with our hats in our hands, leaned over 
 the side of the boat, and watched the proud 
 steamer plough the heavy sea, whose wild waves 
 often dashed upon the upper deck. 
 
 Our route soon brought us into the St. Marj^ 
 River, where all began to feel better, and explain 
 why they happened to become seasick. One lady, 
 from St. Louis, with more tongue than talent, 
 attempted to demonstrate that she would have had 
 no trouble in retaining her equilibrium had the 
 boat continued moving forward instead of swinging 
 around and around like a top. 
 
 Phil soon appeared on deck, in a complete 
 change of garments, to inform us that supper was 
 nearly ready. He tipped all the porters and 
 treated all who were dry. The voyage, he said, 
 would not be complete without the recital of a 
 sailor's yarn; he therefore sent to the Captain to 
 inquire if there was an "Old Salt" on board who 
 could entertain us in that direction.? We were in- 
 formed that Capt. John Green was with us, and 
 after tea, would be delighted to relate any experi- 
 ence which might be interesting. 
 
CAPTAIN GREEN'S UNVARNISHED TALE 
 
 About 8 o'clock we assembled in the forward 
 main saloon, bringing stools and chairs from our 
 rooms, and seated ourselves in a huddle, while the 
 Captain took a seat in front. Captain Green was a 
 tall, angular specimen of the New England Yankee 
 type; steel gray eyes, square under jaw, and com- 
 pressed lips which were partially concealed by a 
 heavy mustache. He did not look ordinary, he 
 was not the man that one could place at a glance, 
 but rather one whose character would be an inter- 
 esting study. He said: 
 
 *• Ladies and Gentlemen, 62 years ago, at New 
 London, Connecticut, when a lad of 14, I em- 
 barked on a whaling vessel, called 'The Hopeful,' 
 and followed a sea-faring life until 1889. Since 
 then I occasionally make a pleasure trip like 
 the one we are now enjoying. As for spin- 
 ning yarns, it is not in my line, for that would 
 
 58 
 
CAPTAIN GREEN'S UNTARNISHED TALE 59 
 
 be an exaggeration of the truth, of which I would 
 not be guilty. But I will relate an actual ex- 
 perience, which, as you must know, having 
 doubled Cape Horn, and Cape Good Hope three 
 times, also making several trips to the frozen ocean, 
 and—" 
 
 "Captain," cried our friend Phil, "we are here 
 prepared to listen to a sailor's yarn of the most 
 startling character. Your experience might be in- 
 teresting, but can't you give us something more 
 spicy?" 
 
 "I cannot," said the Captain; "plain, unvarnished 
 facts, simple experience, is all I could conscien- 
 tiously give." However, we begged him to proceed. 
 
 "On one of our return trips from the northern 
 ocean," began the Captain, "we were alongshore, 
 off the coast of Newfoundland, and were all in 
 high spirits. We had captured about forty of the 
 monsters of the deep, and as our heavy laden ship 
 glided along the clear blue Atlantic, on that soft 
 sunny September day, we thought of loved ones 
 at home, whom we soon should see, and familiar 
 voices we soon should hear. For many nights we 
 had dreamed of a loved mother's caress, and the 
 soft smile of the fond maiden, as she blushingly 
 tried to conceal the fact that she had been watch- 
 ing and waiting. 
 
60 EIGHT D/IYS OUT 
 
 "No happier crew of jolly tars ever paced the 
 deck, than those on board the 'Molly O. ' that 
 lovely autumn day. Near evening w^e were startled 
 by the announcement that a lone shark was fol- 
 lowing in the wake of the vessel, and was, even 
 now, playing near the stern of the boat, awaiting 
 its human victim. No omen is so seriously re- 
 garded among sailors as that of the trailing shark. 
 It invariably foretells the near end of one or more 
 of the crew, unless in some way it can be dis- 
 patched. The usual remedy to get rid of the in- 
 truder was at once made ready. We set about to 
 heat five thirty-pound cannon balls and then 
 dropped them into the water, one after another; 
 all of which the man-eater quickly snapped up and 
 swallowed, besides — " 
 
 "Do I understand you to say," broke in an 
 elderly lady of dignified mien, with a Roman nose, 
 on which rested a heavy pair of gold spectacles, 
 ^-that the animal actually swallowed the hot can- 
 non balls.!* Might they not have sunk in the 
 water.'*" 
 
 "My dear madam," politely replied the captain, 
 "I could not positively swear as to the first four, 
 but I was told by those v^ ho were watching, that 
 he swallowed them as soon as they touched the 
 
CAPTAIN GREEN'S UNl^ARNISHED TALE 61 
 
 water; but there was no doubt about the fifth one, 
 for I heated it in the furnace myself. When it 
 was at a white heat I grabbed it with a huge pair 
 of blacksmith's tongs, and leaning over the stern 
 of the boat dropped it — upon my honor, the mon- 
 ster caught it on the fly." 
 
 The lady in question, apparently a teacher of a 
 juvenile class in some Sabbath school, gathered 
 up her skirts and retired to her stateroom. 
 
 Continuing, the conscientious gentlem an said: 
 "It ought to have killed him, but as we had feared, 
 he proved to be one of the gehenna breed, and it 
 apparently sharpened his appetite, for he followed 
 on as lively as before. Nothing more could now 
 be done, and we all huddled in the forecastle and 
 began reading our Testaments, which we had not 
 had occasion to read before since we set sail. 
 About sunset, while we were eating our supper, a 
 strange chorus of female voices fell upon our ears, 
 and we dropped our knives and forks as if our 
 hands had been paralyzed — we looked at each 
 other in amazement." 
 
 "Is it possible that the mermaid sings?" 
 
 "Songs of mermaids are not uncommon when at 
 sea; they often linger rear and throw kisses at us, 
 and we get somewhat acquainted with them, but 
 
62 EIGHT DAYS OUT 
 
 to hear them sing at sunset is to warn us that not 
 far away, billows run mountain high, and that 
 we must prepare for the inevitable, while they 
 rehearse our funeral dirge. 
 
 "As night came on the soft breeze died away, 
 and our good ship seemed to be dreaming as she 
 slept on the charming water. We had taken in 
 our sails and I was silently pacing the deck of the 
 * Molly O., ' which never before looked so lovely. 
 In the dim twilight, as Jack Sloan was coming to- 
 ward me, I saw him suddenly stop, and fix his 
 gaze out over the dark Atlantic, and make signs 
 as if he was about to jump into the sea. I ran to 
 him and said, 'What is the matter.?' 
 
 "'Do you see her, John.?' he inquired, 'Oh, isn't 
 she lovely! Oh! its Jessie, see her stretch forth 
 her lovely arms to save me. Oh, Jessie Dean!' 
 
 "These strange words startled me, for I knew 
 that Jessie Dean was Jack Sloan's sweetheart, of 
 whom he had spoken to me as living in the old- 
 fashioned farm-house on the Vermont hills, and I 
 knew she could not be there upon the dark waters. 
 
 "'Jack,' I cried, 'you are dreaming; there is 
 nothing there,' and he looked at me strangely as 
 he said: 
 
 " 'I am quite sure I saw her,' Then he, after 
 a moments reflection, said: 
 
CAPTAIN GREEN'S UNVARNISHED TALE 63 
 
 " 'Yes, John, you are right; you see I was think- 
 ing of her and I actually forgot myself.* 
 
 "Soon we began to hear a faint, rumbling noise 
 seaward; the air began to be chilly; a flock of 
 seagulls came flying over; and the atmosphere 
 became heavy laden. We were unacquainted with 
 the rock-bound coast, and our only hope was to 
 face the on-coming storm, which we had good 
 reason to believe would be of short duration. 
 
 "Two men were ordered into the rigging, of which 
 Jack was one. Three were stationed on the deck, 
 besides the Captain and myself, and the others 
 were sent below to await their turn. The gale 
 was soon upon us. 
 
 "The 'Molly O.' began to heave and plunge, as 
 her masts bent and swayed and the staunch ship 
 seemed to groan as if in agony. I could discern 
 that Jack had not strapped himself to the mast, 
 and was about to call to him, when the boat gave 
 a lurch, and he came down head foremost. 
 
 "Running to him I cried, 'Are you hurt.^' No 
 response came, and we soon discovered that his 
 neck was broken As we were carrying poor Jack's 
 body into the cabin, I noticed that the other two 
 men were descending and I ordered them to re- 
 turn, but they disobeyed, and I sang out to the 
 
64 EIGHT DAYS OUT 
 
 Captain for more help, but the seamen stood hke 
 dumb men and would not obey even the Captain's 
 command. I, being first mate, determined to do 
 my duty and immediately climbed into the rig- 
 ging. To say that the sea ran mountain high, 
 does not half express the commotion and tumbling 
 of the wild billows in that awful storm. 
 
 "Sometimes we poised on the top of the wave, 
 and I looked down into the dark trough below 
 into the seemingly subterranean grave, while at 
 other times the ocean appeared to be far above 
 the top of the masts. 
 
 "Often we were submerged beneath the waves, 
 but as the hatches were all closed she soon righted 
 again. The poor 'Molly O.' floundered and rolled 
 from side to side, each time immersing me in the 
 briny Atlantic, but I suffered no particular incon- 
 venience until I saw that shark coming to meet 
 me with his mouth wide open. He made a grab 
 at my head and I dodged just in time to save it, 
 all except the tip of this ear. When he saw me 
 dip on the other side he started for me again, but 
 he wasn't quite on time. 
 
 "These maneuvers were kept up for some time, 
 when I missed him, and just as I expected, he 
 was waiting on the other side for me to come 
 
CAPTAIN GREEN'S UNTARNISHED TALE 65 
 
 back. I was prepared for him and threw a big 
 coil of two inch rope at him, which he swallowed 
 instead of me, and of course I felt somewhat 
 elated at my craftiness. When the boat righted 
 again I made a hand to hand run for the foremast, 
 and when I came down again he did not get his 
 eye on me until I was out of reach. 
 
 "Knowing where he would be waiting for me, I 
 contrived to take advantage of his mathematical 
 calculations by shifting from the main to the miz- 
 zen mast, then back to the foremast and in this 
 way we played hide and seek for about an hour. 
 "I wasn't much frightened — in fact I was never 
 really scared in my life, yet I will acknowledge 
 that that shark was mighty interesting company, 
 and when the Captain hallooed to me that Bill, 
 the second mate, had volunteered to relieve me, I 
 didn't hesitate about sliding down the rope at once. 
 In about half an hour I went out to relieve Bill, 
 but — poor boy — he had already been relieved. 
 We concluded that he had kind of satisfied the 
 shark, for he did not follow us any longer. 
 
 "Soon the sea became calm, and as the morning 
 sun beamed across the broad waters of the great 
 Atlantic, we might have drawn a long, thankful 
 breath, but for the fact that there was poor Jack, 
 
66 EIGHT DAYS OUT 
 
 whose body we dared not consign to the deep, for 
 we were getting a little nervous about the inhabi- 
 tants of the main. 
 
 "From our chart we concluded that we were not 
 more than ten miles from Elkhorn Grove, and 
 we decided to run in there and give Jack a 
 'terra firma' burial. From the scant lumber 
 we had on board, I set about to make him a 
 coffin. Having no screws I used nails, and being 
 a good friend to the departed, I determined to 
 make it tight and warm, so I set the nails close 
 together, and drove home. 
 
 "We felt a sort of relief when, m a lifeboat, 
 we started for the shore intending to inter his 
 remains where when each spring time returned, 
 the grasses, huckleberry bushes, and shrub oaks 
 would waft their sweet perfume above his 
 lonely grave. 
 
 "But as 'trouble never comes single handed,' 
 or 'it never rains but that it pours,' so in this 
 case. We found that the timid inhabitants, fear- 
 ing that our charge might have died of some con- 
 tagious disease, would not let us land, and we 
 were compelled to return with him. 
 
 "By the time we arrived at the ship it was late 
 in the afternoon, and we had been toting the 
 
CAPTAIN GREEN'S Uhll/ARhllSHED TALE 67 
 
 corpse around all day, and our nerves were getting 
 toned up to that pitch where we couldn't stand 
 much more, and wern't prepared for that which 
 followed. 
 
 "We were somewhat perplexed as to what 
 course we should take with the body. The sea 
 had become perfectly calm, and if we dropped 
 him overboard we could not rid ourselves of his 
 presence until the wind started to move our ship. 
 The day had been extremely warm and we deemed 
 it imprudent to keep him on board until morning, 
 so we decided to hold the funeral at once and 
 take him out to sea. 
 
 "The Captain, for reason best known to him- 
 self, was indisposed, so the duty of conducting the 
 funeral service devolved upon me. The coffin 
 was placed on two stools, and all the shipmates 
 seated themselves around while I stood at the 
 head and began reading the usual burial ser- 
 vice. I read along until I came to that part 
 which describes the resurrection: 'And the sea 
 gave up its dead — 'when I was startled by a 
 strange noise — a kind of scratching, pulling, strain- 
 ing sound, and the coffin began to move. I sum- 
 moned my entire force of will power and endeav- 
 ored to look as composed as possible, but I invol- 
 
CS EIGHT DAYS OUT 
 
 untarily stepped suddenly back, which was a signal 
 for all hands to bolt and run, some one way and 
 some the other, until I was left alone. My hair 
 began to rise, and the cold sweat began — " 
 
 "Didn't you tell us,'' inquired Phil, as he stood 
 in a stooping position, having, unconsciously, 
 partly risen from his chair, "that the person in 
 question broke his neck when he fell from the mast 
 head?" 
 
 "That's what I did," replied the narrator, "and 
 I still maintain that he was cold and stiff, when 
 we laid him in the coffin. 
 
 "Jack was a good honest fellow," continued the 
 speaker, "and I could respect him dead or alive, 
 and I certainly had no objections to his taking an 
 active part in the funeral services, but the situation 
 became so extremely embarrassing, owing to the 
 sudden departure of the mourners, that I decided 
 to slip down and invite them back before he got 
 out. 
 
 "I had worked myself away from the corpse about 
 ten feet when I noticed the nails began to draw 
 from the lid of the coffin, and it dawned upon 
 my mind that decomposition had set in and the 
 body was simply bursting off the lid of the box. 
 
 "When the glad news spread among the sailors 
 
CAPTAIN GREEN'S UNl^ARNISHED TALE 71 
 
 that Jack was still dead, they reluctantly returned, 
 but still looked suspiciously at the box and managed 
 to keep a respectable distance from it, so I was 
 compelled to nail on the lid myself. While we 
 were arranging the sinkers at the foot of the coffin, 
 night came on; unwelcomed darkness enshrouded 
 the deep sea; the western horizon was lost amid 
 awful gloom; the wild electric king flashed over 
 zigzag chains, which seemed to bind the steepled 
 clouds together, followed by tremendous peals of 
 doleful thunder, and the whole heavens appeared 
 to be in fury arrayed against some unseen foe. 
 At intervals, by the broad glare of these ethereal 
 candles, we lowered the corpse into the boat and 
 pulled out to sea. 
 
 "Four strong men tugged at the oars while I 
 held the rudder. When about a mile out we swung 
 around, and from the stern of the little craft 
 rested the coffin, waiting to take advantage of the 
 next heavenly glare — when — feet foremost, we 
 tipped him in, and I gave orders to pull for the 
 ship. 
 
 "Before we had proceeded two hundred feet, 
 an electric flash lighted up the surrounding deep, 
 and the oarsmen, who were facing seaward, turned 
 aghast like dead men, and their oars dropped from 
 
•}'2 EIGHT DAYS OUT 
 
 their hands, as Tom Wheeler faintly gasped, 'It 
 is after us!' 
 
 "I had just time to look over my shoulder 
 and catch a glimpse of the coffin, which was 
 jumping up and down on end and following 
 close in our wake, and then the darkness overcast 
 us again." 
 
 At this juncture, in the "Unvarnished Tale," 
 the speaker hesitated, while the few remain- 
 ing hearers mopped the cold sweat from their 
 troubled brow, and set their teeth as if determined 
 to endure to the end. 
 
 "I," said Captain Green, "grabbed an ax, and 
 leaning over the stern of the boat, awaited a 
 flash of lightning. When it came I shut my eyes, 
 gripped my jaws together, and struck out 
 wildly. The ax happened to hit the lid of the 
 coffin and chipped out a piece, which allowed the 
 compressed air to escape, and the remains of 
 poor Jack went to the bottom with a gurgle." This 
 ended the captain's yarn. 
 
 Next morning as our boat steamed up the St. 
 Mary River, we took in the lovely surroundings. 
 And as we wended our way among the little hills, 
 which seemed to be sleeping in the soft morning 
 
tAPTAihl GREEN'S UhjyARMISHED T/iLE 73 
 
 sunlight, we smiled and wondered when we 
 thought how excited we had been, the previous 
 evening, over a sailor's silly yarn. 
 
SAULT STE. MARIE, OR THE "SOO." 
 
 Saut is the Indian word for rapids, therefore the 
 name implies, "The rapids of the St. Mary's 
 River." As seen on the map, the rapids are sit- 
 uated about ten or fifteen miles from the outlet 
 of Lake Superior. 
 
 Sugar Island, a tract of land of several thousand 
 acres, which is inhabited mostly by half-breeds 
 and Indians, lies southeast of the "Soo." The 
 former route from Lake Huron to Lake Superior 
 has been to pass around the Island, through Lake 
 George, and up around the elbow of the St. Mary's 
 River. The scenery on the winding river is quite 
 picturesque and tourists will learn of its abandon- 
 ment with regret. It has always been a source of 
 trouble to navigators, especially in the night, as 
 the channel is narrow, with a solid perpendicular 
 rock surface on either side which has the appear- 
 ance of having been cut through, like the Niagara 
 
 77 
 
78 EIGHT DAYS OUT 
 
 River, by wearing away of falls when the Lake 
 Superior region must have been on a higher plane 
 than it is now. For the last two or three years 
 the government has been excavating a channel 
 through the north end of the Island, which is now 
 completed, and we came through the new American 
 Channel on our return trip. We were informed 
 that the new route saved steamers an hour's time, 
 besides the other advantages before mentioned. 
 
 The two villages, on either side of the rapids, 
 are called the American and Canadian "Soo." 
 When we arrived at the "Soo," we didn't expect 
 to find much, so we were not disappointed. After 
 we had assisted Philip and his luggage to com- 
 fortable quarters, which of course took a full hour, 
 we started for the famous Locks, which are said 
 to be so great a sight. 
 
 Well, it is quite a sight. It works on the same 
 plan as the raising of a chestnut which is floating 
 in a half glass of water, to the top by pouring in 
 more water; the chestnut representing the great 
 steamer rising from the level of the Michigan and 
 Erie Lakes to the level of Lake Superior. The 
 ingenuity displayed is not so complicated but that 
 a person of average intellect can comprehend the 
 scheme, for when the lower gate is closed and the 
 
SAULT STE. MARIE, OR THE 'SOO" 81 
 
 upper one is opened, to let in more water, vessels 
 lying in the slip would naturally rise if the water 
 did. 
 
 The vast amount of freight that is shipped 
 through the Locks each day is surprising, and the 
 one Lock, which only holds two large boats at a 
 time, is not sufficient to accommodate them, but the 
 American Government, and also the Canadian, are 
 building each a new Lock, which, to my mind, is 
 overdoing it, unless the Lake Superior region takes 
 a sudden boom. After patiently listening to the 
 length, breadth, height, vertical, horizontal and 
 rectangular dimensions of the Locks, we decided 
 to shoot the Rapids, which promised to be an ex- 
 hilarating exercise, but proved to be more so than 
 we had anticipated, The ride through the rapids 
 is made in a canoe, manned by half-breed Indians. 
 Bush (Buscher) was the first man who attempted 
 to take passengers down through the rapids in a 
 canoe, and it was his two sons whom we engaged 
 to give us our ride. The landing from which the 
 start is made is about halfway up the stream; 
 from that point, the boat is paddled out into the 
 shallow, or American side of the Rapids, and then 
 dexterously worked up the stream. When they 
 reach a certain point above the rapids, they row 
 
82 EIGHT DAYS OUT 
 
 out as far as the tourists wish to venture, and 
 then the canoe is allowed to descend with the cur- 
 rent while an expert at either end of the boat 
 keeps it from upsetting. A gentleman trom De- 
 troit joined us, making five, besides the pilots. 
 Phil seated himself in front, while we occupied the 
 back seats. We were provided with oilcloths to 
 protect us from the spray, and Phil spent some 
 time in tucking one about his neck so that he con- 
 sidered it water-proof, while the rest of us jumped 
 in without ceremony. When we moved out into 
 the stream we learned that the Indians did not use 
 their paddles in working up the rapids, but pushed 
 the boat with long poles. After glding past the 
 little island they turned the canoe and faced up 
 stream. 
 
 I think that those who have taken in the "Soo" 
 and Rapids will agree with me that the ascent 
 over the dark rushing waters, among the great 
 boulders which can be seen on either side, makes 
 one feel more pokerish than the rapid descent. 
 
 As the strong men tug away at the poles, and 
 still the boat scarcely moves against the stream, 
 it creates that kind of feeling which makes us of- 
 ten say, "What if something should happen?" Well, 
 we were holding our breath in suspense, when we 
 
SAULT STE. MARIE, OR THE ^^SOO'' 83 
 
 heard something snap, and were horrified to see 
 that the man in the front of the boat had broken 
 his guiding pole. At the right lay a big rock which 
 we could see was not more than four inches from 
 the surface, and it required very little nautical 
 calculation to realize that if the boat should swing 
 that way, the rock would roll it over, and our 
 chance for life would be small. The man called 
 to his brother in their native tongue, and grabbed 
 the long part of the pole and held the boat in po- 
 sition while the one at the stern put forth all his 
 strength to push it forward. 
 
 We did not appear to move either way until 
 the man with the broken pole got a firm hold 
 against the rock, which gave us a start, and we 
 drew near the island and worked up through the 
 rapids with a sigh of relief. 
 
 Our guide then inquired if we wanted a very rough 
 ride, at which I told him to give us all he could 
 for the money. He took me at my word and 
 palled over near the Canadian side before making 
 the descent. Their custom is to give a peculiar 
 warning yell when the canoe is about to strike a 
 big wave which is likely to send up a spray. Sev- 
 eral times we caught a dash which was worse than 
 we expected, but when we struck one which dashed 
 
84 EIGHT DAYS OUT 
 
 over the boat and half filled it with water we could 
 hardly decide whether it was best to continue or 
 take back water, both of which we seemed to be 
 doing in spite of all efforts. 
 
 Phil, being in the front of the boat, fared the 
 worst. The oilcloth which he had so carefully 
 tucked about his neck, saved his clothes from the 
 outer spray, but his shirt collar being quite loose 
 allowed about two quarts of water to run down 
 the back of his neck. 
 
 Still he thought to keep something dry, and in- 
 stantly raised his feet to the seat in front of him. 
 This imprudent move threw his entiie weight upon 
 the seat, causing it to give way, sitting him down 
 in six inches of water. By this time we found 
 ourselves below the rapids, gliding over a smooth 
 surface. Phil, being the soul of good-nature, 
 laughed as loud as any of us, declaring that his 
 shirt bosom was still dry and that was more than 
 the remainder of us could claim. We, of course, 
 began to boast that we enjoyed the ride, and I 
 presume we did, but it is the kind of enjoyment 
 that a little goes a great ways. 
 
 After lunch we went over to the Canadian side, 
 and made arrangements for the next day for an 
 excursion to a trout brook, about eight miles back 
 
SAULTSTB. MARIE, OR THE ^'SOO" 85 
 
 in the country. Then returning we took in Fort 
 Brady, which stands on the hill west of the 
 "Soo." 
 
 At the Fort we were treated very courteously. 
 We were shown about the entire premises, the 
 guides, or escorts of one department politely turning 
 us over to the next. The baker spared no pains to 
 explain how the cooking was done, and invited 
 us to wait until the next batch of biscuit was out, 
 which we gladly accepted and were pleased to find 
 that Uncle Sam's bill of fare was all O. K. 
 
 While making our rounds Phil discovered a huge 
 Rocky Mountain bear, which he said, of course 
 came from some menagerie, but when informed 
 that the woods in that vicinity abounded with 
 that kind of animals, he began to consider it a 
 very serious matter. He plied our escort with 
 several questions before he had time to answer the 
 first one. As to how he was caught; had he ever 
 killed a man; did they grow big as that in the 
 woods; if discovered, would they give chase; and 
 were there any of them over on the Canada side, 
 where we had planned to go fishing.'* In his re- 
 plies, our wily friend gave some rather extrava- 
 gant accounts of what bears had been known to do, 
 and Phil declared right then and there that it 
 
86 EIGHT DAYS OUT 
 
 would be very unsafe for us to venture into the 
 woods, unless we were prepared to meet that class 
 of animals. 
 
PHILIP JUMPS FROM THE FRYING PAN 
 INTO THE FIRE. 
 
 We now considered ourselves tairly well ac- 
 quainted with the wonders of the "Soo," so we re- 
 turned to our hotel and got our (Phil's) baggage 
 together and started for the Canadian side; Phil 
 all the time talking about the bear. When we ar- 
 rived on British soil w^e ran against a snag. We 
 could not pass the custom house officer until our 
 baggage had been examined, to which no one ob- 
 jected except Phil. He explained the matter to 
 the officer, who did not doubt his word, that he 
 had nothing only what was absolutely necessary 
 for a traveling man to carry for his daily use, and 
 a few articles in a case of emergency. 
 
 "Open them up!" said the officer, in a harsh 
 tone, which awakened the gentleman's ire to that 
 extent that he replied: 
 
 "I will not open them up, sir, and you have not 
 the power to make me doit, for I am not a smug- 
 gler. The contents of those trunks are my own 
 
 87 
 
88 EIGHT DAYS OUT 
 
 private affairs, and I warn you to keep your hands 
 off." 
 
 "Oh, you greeny," replied the officer as he 
 brought his cane down heavily upon the big trunk. 
 "Did you never travel before? Open this baggage 
 or I will do it myself." 
 
 "Not much," roared Phil, as he gave the officer 
 a tremendous push, at which the Canadian turned 
 and dealt an awful left bander, which our cham- 
 pion dodged and countered at his antagonist's 
 left ear, which he missed by about an arm's length. 
 Now the round was fairly on, and the fearful blows 
 fell thick and heavy; each one with force enough 
 to fell an ox, but neither being able to land, so 
 they ceased pawing the air and clinched. 
 
 Such muttering, straining, twisting and grunt- 
 ing; over boxes, barrels, confiscated trunks and 
 bundles; first one on top and then the other, until 
 we decided to part them and save more blood- 
 shed. Upon examination we found that the 
 officer had a scratch on his neck, probably caused 
 by Phil's sleeve button, and Phil's shirt collar had 
 been ruthlessly torn out by the roots. It was all 
 over so quickly that the whys and wherefores had 
 not been considered, but when Phil began to real- 
 ize that he had attacked, in parcel, the protective 
 
FROM THE FRYING PAN INTO THE FIRE 89 
 
 force of Her Majesty's great dominions, he began 
 to apologize, and it required the inexhaustive elo- 
 quence of his combined allies to assuage the tem- 
 per of the hot blooded Britain, and save poor Phil 
 from going to the lock-up. To save Phil the hu- 
 miliation of having his baggage examined, we de- 
 cided to return to the American side and leave it 
 at the hotel where we had been stopping; then go 
 back to the Algonquin House, on the Canadian 
 side, where we had previously made arrangements 
 to stop so as to be ready for an early start for the 
 trout brook in the morning. Phil insisted on 
 treating the crowd twice, which so worked on the 
 feelings of those present that several shook his 
 hand heartily, and declared that he had done just 
 right, whereupon he mounted a barrel and made a 
 little speech, in which he said: 
 
 "Gentlemen,! stand before you to apologize for 
 a seemingly rash act. Let it be understood that 
 we look upon you as our friends, and we have no 
 disposition to disobey or trample upon the laws of 
 your government. You will pardon me when you 
 remember that we are from the 'Land of Liberty,' 
 the country where every citizen's cabin is his 
 castle, and the law sustains him in protecting his 
 home and his person. The contents of those 
 
DO EIGHT DAYS OUT 
 
 trunks are my personal effects, and when I defend 
 them I defend my person. I have no ill feeling 
 against your officer, it is the spirit of freedom that 
 burns in the hearts of all true American citizens; 
 the spirit of a John Han — " 
 
 At this point, just as he was about to soar away 
 into John Hancock eloquence, I jerked his coat 
 tail, and he continued thus: 
 
 "We profess to be gentlemen; we intend to be 
 generous, and to prove my assertion, I now extend 
 an invitation to all hands to come forward and im- 
 bibe the famous potato whisky, of which you 
 Canadians boast, though it strikes me it is about 
 on par with our crab-apple cider, and — " 
 
 I now jerked his sleeve, and saved another 
 break, at which he returned to consciousness and 
 continued thus: 
 
 "My intentions, gentlemen, are far from any de- 
 sire to wound the feelings of any who glory in 
 the thought that they are subject to, or sheltered 
 under the protecting wing of so great a nation. 
 That nation, whose tyrannical arm stretches out 
 over the great seas, and under the pretext of 
 governmental and spiritual aid, throttles all infant 
 industries and — " 
 
 Here, I gave his coat tail a vicious jerk, and he 
 
FROM THE FRYING PAN WTO THE FIRE 91 
 
 came down from his perch and wound up thus: 
 
 "Excuse me, gentlemen, if I have thrown out 
 any rash insinuations, for we respect you and ad- 
 mire the lovely scenery which surrounds your rural 
 homes. But do not flatter yourselves that we 
 covet your ox your ass, or your broad acres, for if 
 we did, all Uncle Sam would have to do, would be 
 to unfurl the star spangled banner and say, "Boys, 
 plant it there," and we would jerk off our coats 
 and finish the job before breakfast, and — " 
 
 This was too much for even the friendly Cana- 
 dians to stand, so I sprang upon the barrel and 
 made an apology just in time to save Phil's bag- 
 gage from confiscation, and his dignified self from 
 spending the night in the lock-up. We then hus- 
 tled his baggage aboard the little steamer and 
 started back to the United States. Phil was elated, 
 and talked very loud to the passengers, in his ex- 
 planation of his troubles, indulging in some very 
 extravagant expressions, such as: 
 
 "1 should prefer to hear the sound of the gravel 
 upon the lid of my own coffin rather than to sub- 
 mit to such injustice." 
 
 He actually shed great tears of joy, as we pulled 
 alongside the, "Sweet Land of Liberty," where he 
 realized that his personal rights would not be 
 interfered with. 
 
92 EIGHT DAYS out 
 
 I noticed that the Captain and all on board 
 looked smilingly at us, and showed signs of con_ 
 cealed mirth, but we did not comprehend the sig- 
 nificance of their acts until we had landed. When 
 a man with brass buttons on his coat politely re- 
 quested us to take our baggage into a room, which 
 he pointed out, over the door of which we read, 
 "Custom House OfBcer," Mr. Parkins began to ex- 
 plain, but the officer, who would hear nothing, 
 simply said: 
 
 "Take these trunks in there and have them ex- 
 amined, or take them back to Canada on the 
 next boat." Phil took in the situation at a glance. 
 Like a peacock, with his plumage in bold array, 
 when caught in a shower, he drooped. 
 
 I had kept a stiff upper lip until now,but I am so 
 weakly constituted, that when anything ridiculous 
 presents itself, I must laugh or burst, and I in- 
 dulged in a tremendous outbreak. As I gave 
 way to convulsive laughter I staggered backwards 
 and sat down on what proved to be the head of a 
 tar barrel, which had been standing in the sun. 
 My countenance was soon changed to that of 
 strange earnestness when I discovered that I was 
 imbedded in the tar and could not get away, and 
 the prospects were that I must leave my pants 
 
FROM THE FRYING P^N INTO THE FIRE 93 
 
 with the barrel, or take the barrel with me. I 
 will not fatigue the reader with further particu- 
 lars concerning this personal matter, but will state, 
 that after a thorough examination of the trunks, 
 and I had purchased a new pair of pants, we re- 
 turned to Canada and made ready for the fishing 
 tour. 
 
ENCOUNTER WITH A BEAR 
 
 After refreshing ourselves with a good night's 
 rest, in large, airy rooms with everything clean 
 and nice about the bed and furniture, we partook 
 of the best breakfast which we had eaten since 
 we left home. 
 
 (The Algonquin House is somewhat on the 
 country style, but just the place where parties 
 from a great city can enjoy themselves.) 
 
 Phil appeared at the breakfast-table in a sub- 
 dued mood. He began to realize what a fool he 
 had made of himself the previous evening and he 
 felt small, but he did not think that his lesson was 
 the same in kind, only different in degree, as that 
 which all have to learn before they know how to 
 travel. He did acknowledge, however, that if he 
 ever lived to get home, and should contemplate 
 another tour, he would not take along so much 
 confounded luggage. 
 
 94 
 
ENCOUNTER IVITH A BEAR 95 
 
 The team was soon at the door, and we piled in 
 with all our trumpery, including Phil's gun, which 
 we could not induce him to leave behind. Our 
 driver, a colored boy, who proved to be quite in- 
 telligent, was able to tell us all about the differ- 
 ent kinds of trees, birds and wild beasts. The 
 early ride was delightful. As we ascended the 
 hills where the morning sun beamed upon us, it 
 seemed to smile with a tenderness that gladdened 
 our spirits. Then descending by a narrow, winding 
 way, we found ourselves in a little vale where the 
 soft waters of the bubbling stream emerged from 
 the little grove of alders and formed a clear pool, 
 in which several species of brook fish made their 
 home. 
 
 On either side we could see and hear the 
 voices of the feathered songsters, from the little 
 every-day brown bird to the glossy, black-eyed 
 blue jay, and although we could not catch them, 
 as they flitted here and there and sang their sweet 
 mountain songs, with no tinge of care or sorrow in 
 its echo, it made us happy. 
 
 As we climbed the rugged hills we ran on 
 afoot and gathered wild liowers. I gathered a 
 large handful of juniper bushes which weie so 
 loaded with pretty berries it seemed a pity to 
 throw them away. 
 
96 EIGHT DAYS OUT 
 
 There is something about "Morning in tlie 
 Mountains" which I am wholly unable to describe: 
 a glad feeling; — an assurance that God is so boun- 
 tiful; — a realization that He, with ease, creates, 
 that which we with a struggle, vainly attempt to 
 appreciate. Then, to add to my enjoyment, the 
 brooks, hills, valleys, flowers and songsters re- 
 minded me of "my childhood's happy home," in 
 old New England; where the mountains tear 
 their picturesque forms in such majestic grandeur; 
 where the valleys teem with squirrels, birds and 
 wild flowers; and where (methinks) the sun shines 
 brighter than in any other land. 
 
 We traveled seven or eight miles before we ar- 
 rived at Silver Creek, where we were to fish. On 
 the way our driver gave us many object lessons 
 concerning the names of the streams, trees, and 
 flowers, and at last began to talk about bears 
 Phil had been taking things in a matter of fact 
 way, until the bear question came up; then his 
 anxiety was aroused, and while he professed not 
 to be afraid of a bear, still he asked many queer 
 questions, especially as to how the monsters killed 
 people. 
 
 "How do they kill?" he said. "Do they hug a fel- 
 low to death at once, or do they just hug up close 
 and then begin to eat from off the top.?" 
 
I gathered a large handful of juniper bushes.— Page 95. 
 
ENCOUNTER IVITH A BEAR 99 
 
 Arriving at the fishing ground, we all agreed 
 that the morning's ride, itself, had well paid us 
 for the expense of the entire tiip. Our driver in- 
 structed us to fish down the stream until we came 
 to a bridge, and he would meet us there at 5 
 o'clock in the evening. He then drove away, and 
 Phil reminded us that we were in the Canadian 
 forest, eight miles east of the "Soo," and fifty 
 miles west of the nearest settlement, with no in- 
 tervening houses, except a few that belonged to 
 squatters and now and then an Indian shanty. 
 
 Working our way through the thicket, we soon 
 came upon a clear running brook, which trickled 
 this way and that through the dense forest. In 
 many places where the water flowed over a broad 
 incline of shining pebbles, it was not more than 
 six inches deep, while in others it formed pools 
 three or four feet deep and several rods wide. 
 
 Across the stream, fallen logs lie in every direc- 
 tion, while on either side the ground is covered with 
 a dense growth of underbrush It didn't look much 
 like a place to fish, as the hooks would float under 
 the logs and get tangled and, the slightest jerk of 
 the line would throw them into the branches over- 
 head, but we decided to try our luck. Sam had 
 his hooks baited first, and dropping them into a 
 
100 EIGHT D^YS OUT 
 
 dark nook, felt the pole tremble and jerking it up 
 quickly he swung two nice trout over the limb. 
 
 They looked nice up there, and we were elated to 
 think that we had caught two already, but in try- 
 ing to get them down it scared all the other fish, 
 and we did not get them down at that. At last 
 he pulled the limb dov/n almost to him, when the 
 line broke, and I presume that the fish are up there 
 yet. 
 
 We were troubled in this way all day; first 
 our hooks would get caught under a log, then we 
 would throw them over a limb, then the butt of 
 our fish poles would get caught under the roots of 
 a tree. Then the bark would slip from a wet, rotten 
 log, letting one of us down straddle of it, to stop 
 so suddenly as to almost dislocate the spinal col- 
 umn. 
 
 Sometimes we would wade in the stream 
 and then we would try the bank, and whichever 
 route one took he would wish he had taken the 
 other, but to say that it was good fishing, does not 
 half express it. There were no other fish in the 
 brook except the speckled trout, and they were 
 not large, as the largest we caught did not v.eigh 
 over a quarter of a pound, but one could catch 
 enough for a fry in a few minutes. 
 
ENCOUNTER IVITH A BE/1R 101 
 
 We went laughing, talking and splashing 
 along, and did not half try to fish, and still 
 our count for the day was 229 nice speckled 
 trout. Several times we found tracks in the 
 sand where some large animal had been down 
 to the water's edge, but on examination we de- 
 cided it to be the tracks of a large dog, which prob- 
 ably accompanied some band of courageous sports- 
 men, like ourselves. It made Phil quite nervous, 
 but as the day wore on he forgot himself and be- 
 came enthusiastic over the good luck we were 
 having. 
 
 I was the only one that was accustomed to the 
 woods, and explained to them that we were not 
 traveling as fast as it seemed. The bridge we were 
 heading for was about five miles from where we 
 started in, and when we stopped to eat our lunch 
 I do not think we had covered one and one half 
 miles, and yet they insisted that we must be almost 
 there. All day long I was ahead, knowing what 
 we had before us; Phil was away behind, complain- 
 ing that we did not catch one quarter of the fish 
 that we might; while Billy and Sam made less 
 noise and caught more fish. 
 
 About three o'clock Sam surprised us by 
 holding up a fiask of old bourbon whisky. We 
 
102 EIGHT DAYS OUT 
 
 were very tired and wet, and it looked mighty 
 tempting I braced up and spoke my little piece, 
 how that I had always made it a rule, never to 
 indulge, except in the evening, but I waded 
 right back and was easily pursuaded to partake 
 of the forbidden fruit, and Phil drank even 
 more moderately than myself, owing to the fact 
 of his not getting there until I had imbibed. 
 
 Phil took occasion to mention that he had 
 been startled several times by hearing the bushes 
 crack, which must have been caused by some large 
 animal, and he doubted very much if the tracks 
 we had seen were dog tracks. 
 
 "Wolves," he said, "were the most treacherous 
 animals on earth, and if there were two hundred 
 within a stone's throw of us, we would not know 
 it two minutes before we were eaten up hide and 
 hair." 
 
 I took it upon myself to expound wolf-ology; 
 how that they had never been known to attack 
 any one in the day time; that they were like owls 
 and cats which traveled in the dark. Sam re- 
 marked that it was about as dark as ni^ht, which 
 was true, for although the sun was shining brightly 
 yet the forest was so dense overhead that only 
 now and then could we see a streak of its welcome 
 
ENCOUN TER IVI TH A BEAR 1 03 
 
 light. The stream was getting wider as we de- 
 scended, and if such a thing could be, the fish more 
 plentiful, and we had already more than would 
 likely be dressed. 
 
 Phil examined his gun and declared his inten- 
 tion of working his way to the bridge, as we were 
 due there at 5 o'clock, and it was already after 
 three. He had managed, thus far, by crossing the 
 brook back and forth, and picking his way through 
 the under brush which lined the banks, to get 
 along without getting much wet. Sam and Billy 
 were soaked to their knees, and I had accidentally 
 sat down in the brook several times, so we decided 
 to keep on paddling down the stream, occasionally 
 dropping our hooks into the little dark pools, and 
 capturing the funny little speckled inhabitants of 
 that clear running brook. We had been fishing 
 perhaps ten minutes, when we heard the report 
 of a gun, and Phil's well known voice as he shouted: 
 "A bear, a bear!" then another report, and he 
 came rushing through the thicket and plunged 
 headlong into the creek, in which he lost his hat, 
 gun and everything that was not fastened to his 
 person. He did not stay there long, for he was 
 not sure that his antagonist was dead. At first 
 he had the drop on the bear, but now, having dis- 
 
104 EIGHT DAYS OUT 
 
 charged both barrels of his gun, if the bear followed 
 he would have the drop on Mr. Parkins, and to 
 be dropped upon by a she-bear was an adventure 
 which he did not hanker for. 
 
 Phil understood the unscrupulous character 
 of the enemy that was bringing up the rear, 
 and he made some desj^erate moves, as a man 
 will make when he is trying to run forward, while 
 he is looking backward, expecting to see that 
 which he hopes he will not see. 
 
 We could not see into the thicket, but could seethe 
 bushes shake and hear the limbs crack, but it was 
 impossible to know whether the animal vvas com- 
 ing towards us, going from us, or rolling around 
 in the throes of death. We raised our fish poles 
 as weapons of djfense and shouted to him to run 
 to us for protection. I hardly know just how we 
 expected to protect him, for we had nothing with 
 which to defend ourselves, unless it was our re- 
 volvers, and they were wet and might not have 
 been of any use. I think, that as 1 had bragged 
 so much about my being a dead shot, they all re- 
 lied upon me to do the killing, but, somehow — just 
 then — well, I felt too bashful to assume the respon- 
 sibility, and my legs, which are my best friends in 
 a case of emergency, advised a hasty retreat. 
 
ENCOUNTER fVITH A BEAR ]07 
 
 For once, in my life, I thanked my lucky stars 
 that I had been brought up in the mountains, and 
 had learned to run faster in the thicket than in the 
 straight road, and a ray of hope dawned on my 
 mind as I thought how grateful Phil would be if I 
 left my fish pole for his protection, while I rushed 
 forward to give the alarm. 
 
 While we hesitated we heard a strange sound 
 in the bushes on the opposite bank, and we 
 made a wild break into the woods on the same 
 side of the stream which Phil came from. 
 This was an imprudent move, but we made 
 it without consideration, as one is liable to do 
 when his composure has been disturbed. We 
 struggled through the under-bush and struck a 
 hard beaten path, when to our horror we en- 
 countered something coming directly toward us. 
 It was running, and apparently following the path. 
 At the first ghmpse we discovered that it was 
 black, and the awful realization that our fishing ex- 
 cursion had terminated in a bloody tragedy, loomed 
 up before us, and we took advantage of the last act 
 to display the grandeur of our heroic natures before 
 the curtain fell. Our revolvers did not come in 
 play for two reasons: first, we were too far away 
 to have the bullets take effect; second, we did not 
 
108 EIGHT D/lYS OUT 
 
 care to wait until the animal came near. I plunged 
 into the bushes where it was so dense that I could 
 not see three feet i head of my ncse, and they fol- 
 lowed. 
 
 I fell over a big log where the grass seemed to 
 have been trodden down, and Sam and Bill fell on 
 top of me. Before we had tiir.e to realize it, the 
 animal was upon us, over us, passed us and gone. 
 As it passed out of sight, over the little hill, I 
 noticed that it had a long tail which stuck straight 
 up in the air. I at once began to mistrust — as 
 the panorama of imagination was gently with- 
 drawn, and the avenues of reason again opened up 
 before me, I felt funny. I wondered if the gen- 
 ealogy of the Richardson family had ever before 
 produced such a striking illustration of heroism. 
 We were not long in doubt as to what kind of 
 an animal it was, for soon we discovered that in 
 tumbling over the log we had landed on the calves' 
 stamping ground^ and we were daubed from head 
 to foot. When we returned to the brook and re- 
 lated our findings to Phil, he said: 
 
 " There, I thought it was the first bear that I 
 had ever seen with horns." 
 
 It was then after four o'clock and we were wet, 
 tired and hungry, and hadn't a drop of stimulant 
 
ENCOUNTER IVITH A BEAR 109 
 
 tc shorten the journey, so we started down the 
 stream Indian hie. I led the way, and it was a 
 rough, long and serious one, but we reached the 
 bridge at last, and while we were waiting for tl e 
 team we began summing up. 
 
 Phil's necktie, not proving to be fast colors, 
 had stained his shirt bosom until it looked as 
 if he had had the nosebleed; besides, he had 
 lost his hat. Sam, in his rush for safety over 
 the log, had broken both suspenders and ripped 
 one pant leg almost to his body. Billy looked 
 very well for a wet man, but during the excite- 
 ment of tr3ing to escape from the bear, he had 
 lest his revolver, ana eaten so many berries (of 
 which the bushes were loaded) that he said he felt 
 awfully squeamish I had run my nose against a 
 dry limb, which made it look and feel very uncom- 
 fortable, and 1 was also daubed up with several 
 kinds of stain, the cattle stain being the most prom- 
 inent shade; besides, the set was all taken out cf 
 my new pants, and they did not look as fresh as 
 the ones I left on the tar barrel. 
 
 "The anticipation," said Sam, *'of all kinds of 
 adventures must be far greater than the reali- 
 zation " 
 
 "But," said Billy, "when we come to relate the 
 
no EIGHT DAYS OUT 
 
 thrilling adventure — there is where the fun will 
 come in." 
 
 "Fun!" broke in Phil, "do you call it fun to go 
 home and tell a lie about this business? Certainly 
 it won't do to tell the truth. Honestly, boys, I 
 would not have experienced the fright I got from 
 that cursed calf for five hundred dollars, to say 
 nothing of going in swimming, with my clothes on, 
 so mighty unexpectedly. Then to think that I 
 have been practicing with a rifle for the last four 
 months until I could hit a bull's eye two hundred 
 yards, and when I came face to face with a brown 
 calf, not more than twenty feet from me, I blazed 
 away and missed her. Great Scott, Bill, you can 
 tell about your thrilling adventures, but I shall 
 keep still. What do you think, M. A. .-'" 
 
 "Well, really," I said, "I don't know. I am a 
 great hand for fun, and nothing is more comical 
 than to hear a man tell a joke on himself, now 
 you see — " 
 
 "Wait a bit," said Phil. "Now M. A., you can 
 tell all the jokes on yourself that you please, but 
 you will do me an especial favor to leave my name 
 out. I am already the victim of one little joke 
 that has cost me three bottles of wine and any 
 number of boxes of candy; besides, such things are 
 
ENCOUNTER IVITH A BEAR m 
 
 SO extremely en barrassing, especially if one is 
 
 tr>ing to appear genteel. 
 
 "Sometimes the ladies where I room have callers, 
 and on such occasions thev often invite me in to 
 h^ve a game of euchre. If I get interested in a 
 lady or gentleman, perhaps on some seiious subject, 
 they aie sure to begin to talk about full moon, and 
 Oh, how quickly it makes me begin to sweat. I 
 honestly believe that I have perspired more than 
 ten barrels of moisture over that "full moon bus- 
 iness." 
 
 "What about the full moons.?" we all inquired. 
 
 "O, it was nothing," said he, "nothing compared 
 
 to this bear business, and still people have teased 
 
 me unmercifully abcut it. Now isn't my plan the 
 
 best, M. A.?" 
 
 "Oh, Phil, if I could not tell the story when I 
 get back to Chicago, I should not live through the 
 winter. Why, Phil, if I had your chromo, taken 
 just as you looked when you emerged from the 
 woods, with that she-bear at your heels, I would 
 call it, 'The Lucky Escape,' and use it to—" 
 
 "Hold on there!" broke in Phil, "if w^e had yours 
 taken when you were fast to the tar barrel, we 
 would name it, 'The Unlucky Hold.'" 
 
 "Yes," said Sam, "but wouldn't it be more life- 
 
112 EIGHT DAYS OUT 
 
 like if taken just as we were extracting him from 
 his pants?" 
 
 "Why didn't we think," said Bill, "to buy the 
 tar barrel, pants and all, and take them back to 
 Chicago, and have them placed in the Dime 
 Museum?" 
 
 "The barrel could be exhibited with the pants 
 grown fast to it, and M. A. could stand on the plat- 
 form without the pants on, and - " 
 
 Just then Phil, who had been lying on the grass, 
 sprang to his feet, and yelled "Help! Help!" as he 
 rushed into the rtjad, his face presenting a picture 
 of contortions such as I had never before \^itnesr,ed. 
 Jast as it happened. Bob, our teamster, who had 
 come to take us home, arrived, and we all rushed 
 to Phil's assistance. 
 
 My first thought was that his heart had been 
 pierced by a bullet from one of those noiseless 
 air guns, and that his murderer was a skulking 
 Indian. But Sam, who was well informed on 
 all subjects, seemed also to understand how fits 
 attacked people, and he cried, "Lay him on his 
 back! lay him on his back!" 
 
 "Oh,don't! Oh, don't!" roared Phil. "Get it out, 
 get it out! or I shall die! Its — " 
 
 Then he began grating his teeth like a raving 
 
ENCOUNTER IVITH A BEAR 115 
 
 maniac, while he gripped hold of his clothes until 
 the muscles on his arms, and the cords in his 
 neck, stood out like ox-bows. I caught his glassy 
 eyes as he gasped. 
 
 "M. A., have mercy on me, get me a knife and 
 cut—" 
 
 Then a new fit seemed to seize him and he 
 changed one hand to another position and gripped 
 harder than before. All the while he was holding 
 on to his pants leg, near his body, and as we 
 threw him on his back it made matters worse, as 
 he appeared to have lost his grip, and was strug- 
 gling to get a new hold on his back, then around 
 on his left side, near his heart, and I concluded 
 that the disease was working towards his vitals, 
 where it would culminate in instant death. 
 
 Again he called for a knife, and I concluded that 
 he wanted me to cut his throat and put him out 
 of his misery, and of course I stood dumfounded. 
 
 Bill took in the situation more reasonably, 
 and thought that he wanted his neck band cut, as 
 he was suffocating. Drawing his hunting knife, 
 which he had forgotten in the bear scrape, he 
 began ripping open the back of his coat and 
 vest and we soon had him partially disrobed, 
 when out ran a little green snake about eight 
 
116 EIGHT DAYS OUT 
 
 inches long. We looked at each other in astonish- 
 ment, but the picture had been so awfully real 
 that we could not smile, or at least, not until 
 reaction had set in. Again we had been the victims 
 of a horrible fright, and still we could not blame 
 Phil, for all will agree, that to have a snake wriggle 
 up one's spinal column, even though it be a small 
 snake, would produce a mighty unpleasant sensa- 
 tion. 
 
 After the excitement was over I turned to 
 luok for the things we had left on the bank, and 
 to my surprise, everything was gone, the fishing 
 tackle, Sam's shoes, and our lovely string of fish. 
 Down the road we discovered two half-breed In- 
 dians, escaping with our property, whom we did 
 not have the courage to follow, so we lost all of 
 our game. After we had gotten Phil's clothes 
 togged up we started for the "Soo," hardly pre- 
 pared to boast "Fisherman's Luck," as many tour> 
 ists are able to do. 
 
PHILIP GETS LEFT 
 
 When we arrived at the Algonquin, Phil began 
 to fidget about his washing which he had left the 
 previous morning at a laundry on the west side. 
 
 As our boat was to leave at 8 o'clock in the 
 morning he concluded that he might not have time 
 to attend to it then, so he decided to go and get it 
 at once. Returning later, he informed us that the 
 laundry was closed and he could not learn where 
 the folks lived. I relieved his anxiety by prom- 
 ising to wake him early in the morning that he 
 might go in search of his linen, while I would go 
 to the hotel and have his baggage taken to the boat. 
 This arrangement did not exactly please him, for 
 his nature was late to bed and late to rise, but it 
 was the only thing to be done, so he consented. 
 About half past four o'clock the sun peeped in 
 through the lace curtains and I sang out: 
 
 "Hello, Phil!" 
 
 117 
 
i\S EIGHT DAYS OUT 
 
 "A-h-w," was the responsive grunt, and I con- 
 tinued: 
 
 "Phil!" 
 
 "Yaw- aw- aw- aw," and his voice died away like 
 the sound of a distant express train as it enters 
 the underground tunnel. 
 
 "Phil! Phil!" said I sharply. 
 
 "Yes! yes!" was his quick reply, and he actually 
 drew up one leg and then continued his snoring. 
 
 "Snore away then," said I, "this is the last call 
 for breakfast, and I have no doubt that you will 
 get left, as it is only about twenty minutes before 
 the boat leaves. I shan't call you again." 
 
 "Why! why! I didn't think it was late," said he 
 as he rose to his elbow; then catching a glimpse 
 of the sun he said: 
 
 "Certainly, M. A., you must be exaggerating 
 now, for the sun is but just over the hill, and I 
 can't afford to be hustled out in this way for the 
 sake of a few linens." 
 
 "Then what did you bring them for.?" I inquired. 
 
 "Bring them for.?" said he," why, I brought them 
 to wear; do you think a man can travel without 
 shirts.?" 
 
 "Buy a clean one when you need it," said I. 
 
 "Buy a clean one.'". said he, "why, don't you 
 
PHILIP GETS LEFT 119 
 
 know that any garment that fits me at the shoul- 
 ders trails on the floor, and if I should buy a dozen 
 I could not use them when I got home." 
 
 "Then," says I, "you could use them as sleeping 
 gowns or you could lend them to the women folks 
 to wear as over-all when they dusted the parlors." 
 
 "How indecent I" he exclaimed as he rose up 
 in bed. "Do you think that I would insult a lady 
 by—" 
 
 "Nonsense," says I, "You are a cranky old 
 bachelor and don't want to be accommodating ;you 
 know that any little thing like the loan of a gar 
 ment from a gentleman like you, would be appre- 
 ciated by — " 
 
 "Do shut up," said he as he bounded out of bed 
 and touched the bell for the servant who was to 
 prepare his early breakfast. 
 
 I now realized that I had him thoroughly aroused 
 and I began to snicker. 
 
 "Laugh," said he; "you think you have said 
 something cunning, but I want you to understand 
 that I respect tho ladies and would not deride 
 them." 
 
 "Are you mad, PhiP" said I. 
 
 "No'p," was the quick response, as he began 
 jerking away at his pants. 
 
120 EIGHT DAYS OUT 
 
 "Phil," said I in a conciliating tone, "I have 
 half a notion to go down to breakfast with you." 
 
 "If you would 1 should enjoy it very much," he 
 said as he began to smile. 
 
 As we entered the dining room he said, "I am so 
 thankful, M. A., that you kept at me until you got 
 me up, for I surely should have overslept had you 
 not got me mad." 
 
 After Sam, Billy and myself had landed his bag- 
 gage safely on the steamboat we seated ourselves 
 on deck to enjoy the cool of the morning while we 
 waited for our companion. We did not expect 
 him early, as we presumed the laundry would not 
 be open before 7 o'clock, but when 7:30 came we 
 began to get anxious and made inquiries as to just 
 what time the boat would leave. The captain in- 
 formed us that it would start precisely at 8 o'clock, 
 and if we had a friend ashore we had better be 
 looking him up. He said he would sound the last 
 call five minutes before he pulled in the plank, 
 which would give us time to run from any part of 
 the village. As we were talking Phil arrived, all 
 out of breath, saying that the drones at the laun- 
 dry had not put in an appearance, but he had 
 learned where they lived which was back on the 
 bluffs, to which pla^e Sam volunteered to run and 
 
PHILIP GETS LEFT 121 
 
 rout them out. Billy and I accompanied him to 
 the laundry, which we found open, but was in pos- 
 session of the laundry girls, who knew nothing 
 about the business, but, as Phil afterwards said, 
 were good girls, who naturally felt interested in a 
 gentleman's behalf. 
 
 There were five or six of them, all young, buxom 
 lasses who had not arrived at that uncertain age 
 from where man is looked upon suspiciously. 
 
 With mirthful faces they hurried around, bring- 
 ing on all the different packages, reading the 
 names of those that were marked and allowing Phil 
 to examine those which had no name on them. 
 Phil conducted the examination with as much care 
 as a lawyer would examine an abstract, while he 
 expounded to them some kind of shirtology which 
 I could not hear, but seemed to enlist their sym- 
 pathy. Not finding it, one of them suggested that 
 it might have been sent aiound to the hotel, where 
 we had been stopping. It was then near 8 o'clock 
 and we told Phil that we must leave at once, but 
 I volunteered to run around to the hotel while they 
 looked over the packages once more. Upon my 
 return they had found the right package, which he 
 had sorted out and laid on the counter. It agreed 
 with his count, but he was not satisfied that it was 
 
122 EIGHT DAYS OUT 
 
 his, as the neck band looked too small, so he sug- 
 gested that he be allowed to step into a side room 
 and try it on. The girls explained that there were 
 no adjoining rooms to the laundry, but one of them 
 suggested that they measure the neck band, as she 
 had a tape measure handy, while another eager 
 assistant quickly produced the yardstick, and both 
 hastily proceeded to fulfill the requirements at the 
 same time. Girl No. i took no chances on math- 
 ematical calculations, but ran the tape, the best she 
 could, around the band, then nipping the exact 
 spot with her thumb and finger she ran to the light 
 and began calling out: "Exactly eighty-four — 
 eighty-five, eighty-two — no, wait a moment — 
 exactly — eighty-seven, eighty-six — eighty-one, 
 eighty-two. 
 
 "Yes, that's right, exactly eighty-four and three- 
 sixteenths inches." The announcement caused us 
 to burst out laughing, which much disturbed Phil 
 and greatly embarrassed the girl, who had evidently 
 measured from the wrong end of the tape line. 
 Girl No. 2 in the meantime had placed her yard- 
 stick across the top of the band and then multi- 
 plied the diameter by, I think she said, three and 
 two-elevenths and thirty-nine and one-ninth of 
 sixty-one four-thousands (3 2-11 and ^g \-goi6i- 
 
PHILIP GETS LEFT 125 
 
 4000), which ^ave the result as eight and twenty- 
 two sixteenths inches (8 22-16), with a fraction to 
 spare. 
 
 "Parkins," said I, and I spoke sharp enough to 
 cause a mastiff to crouch, "do you know that it is 
 seven minutes to eight?" 
 
 He didn't scare worth a cent, but turning to me 
 began: 
 
 "Mr. R — ,1 have heretofore regarded you as a 
 gentleman who was able to control — " 
 
 "Try on your shirt! if you want to," exclaimed 
 Billy, at the same time starting towards him, as if 
 he intended to enforce the issue, but even that did 
 not phase him, for turning to him he calmly said: 
 
 "Outrageous — then you propose a change of 
 linen in the presence of — " 
 
 "Mr. Perkins," softly ventured girl No. i, who 
 had apparently found the other end of her tape 
 line, "I—" 
 
 "Parkins, if you please, not Perkins; the Per- 
 kins' and the Parkins' are two distinct families, 
 although I have been informed that the two names 
 originated — " 
 
 ''''Boo zvoo zuoo ziwOy^'' came the sound from the 
 steamer's whistle, and we three started on a run 
 towards the dock, leaving our unfortunate (or for- 
 
126 EIGHT DAYS OUT 
 
 tunate) friend among the pretty girls. As we ran 
 away Phil followed us into the street and cried 
 out: 
 
 "I will take the overland train and meet you at 
 the Mackinac Landing." 
 
VOYAGE THROUGH ETERNITY, AMONG 
 OTHER WORLDS. 
 
 The "Manitou" was due in Chicago at 7 o'clock 
 p. M., but owing to some disarrangements in her 
 machinery, was about eight hours late. 
 
 Some two hundred passengers were on board, 
 many of whom were from Chicago. We had be- 
 come acquainted with several tourist parties who 
 were also on their way home, and a general ge- 
 niality prevailed, which caused us to extend the 
 evening into the morning hours. 
 
 Even then we were loth to retire, as we knew 
 that this was our last evening out, and that on the 
 morrow we should be back in our old tracks, where 
 one day is not unlike another. Day after day we 
 eat at the same table, walk the same streets, sleep 
 in the same bed, see the same faces, and go the 
 usual rounds of life. And although it may be the 
 kind of existence which we were destined for, still 
 
 127 
 
128 EIGHT DAYS OUT 
 
 this wearing away of life, e;ich day like so many 
 ticks of the clock, click, click, click, produces a 
 feeling in the human heart which often causes the 
 most intelligent to pause and say: 
 
 "For whit was I made— is this all there is to life? 
 — if so, it would have been better that I had existed 
 without knowledge; that this poor human heart 
 had never known the sorrow which we so painfully 
 realize, or the happiness which seems to pass be- 
 fore us like golden rays of light, softene d by the 
 mists of some unseen fountain of love, but which 
 ever exists beyond our sphere." 
 
 I was playing a six handed game with a party 
 from La Porte, Ind , all of whom were well-informed, 
 and being on their return from an extensive tour in 
 the Lake Superior regions, gave us some interest- 
 ing accounts of their travels. I was just aching 
 to tell of our encounter with the bear, but Phil sat 
 near looking so genteel, and as his soft blue eye 
 caught my sharp glance he appeared to appeal to 
 my sympathy, not to indulge in any of my ('as he 
 considered) exaggerations. 
 
 "Co ne this way, Mr. Parkins," I said, "and let 
 me introduce you to my new acquaintances." 
 
 He executed his part of the formal introduc 
 tion in that easy and graceful manner with which 
 
AMONG OTHER IVORLDS 129 
 
 nature has gifted only a few persons. From 
 his appearance, none would have thought that 
 he had so recently been the victim of such teirible 
 sea-sick upheavals; engaged in a fistic encounter 
 with one of the Queen's guards; or chased by a 
 real bear, so I did not mention the subject. 
 
 As the conversation became more interesting the 
 game began to drag, and we soon found ourselves 
 holding our cards in our hands and listening to 
 Professor Mott, of Hamburg, who had traveled ex- 
 tensively in the interest of science, and was then 
 on his way to the Rocky Mountains, where he 
 hoped, owing to the clear, rare atmosphere, to be 
 able to gain some additional knowledge of our sis- 
 ter planet Venus. 
 
 The professor was German not only by birth, 
 but by nature. He saw no harm in a social game 
 or a glass of wine. He spoke highly of the 
 Puritan element which had given character and 
 stability to the inhabitants of this new world, 
 but he did not regard the Sabbath in just the light 
 that they did, neither was he thoroughly orthodox 
 in his religious views, but his faith in God was as 
 simple as that of a child. 
 
 "We exist now," he said, "we shall always 
 exist; we are changing now, we shall always 
 
130 EIGHT DAYS OUT 
 
 be changing. Our life here, brief as it is, tends 
 to the higher. If we do right we move onward, 
 upward and become better, purer and holier 
 each day, but if we do wrong, downward, and it 
 will ever be the same. I have spent my entire life," 
 he continued, "in searching the house 'not made 
 with hands,' and often while exploring new fields, 
 when I discover the hitherto unknown glories of 
 God's bountiful Kingdom, and my soul ventures 
 out into the great unknown,! sometimes wish that 
 I could linger there and not return to this feeble 
 house of clay." 
 
 He invited us on deck that he might explain to 
 us some of the wonders of the Universe in which 
 we exist, and of which our little world is such an 
 insignificant atom. 
 
 "I have not the power of God, and I cannot ex- 
 plain the mysteries of the heavens," he said as we 
 rose to follow him, "but I can point out to you 
 some facts of the existence of God's hand which 
 you who have not had an opportunity to investi- 
 gate, probably might not believe. I perceive now 
 that when I attempt to prove to you that other 
 worlds are inhabited, some of you may doubt, but 
 you ought not, as the proof is so positive that it 
 not only viigJit be so, but it could not be other- 
 wise. 
 
^MONG OTHER IVORLDS 131 
 
 "Scientists have learned that similar causes pro- 
 duce similar effects. For instance, when we find a 
 cause in one part of the earth which produces a 
 certain effect, we have found that the same cause, 
 under the same conditions, will produce the same 
 effect on another part of the earth. In the bottom 
 of the sea, up in the cloud, or on the land, the law 
 never fails. Christ, the great law-giver of our 
 world, said it was so, and so we find it." 
 
 All strangers as we were, we seated ourselves so 
 huddled together that it appeared quite like a 
 family circle. We joked and talked as freely as 
 old acquaintances, and in fact we were friends, 
 for often a friendship formed under such circum- 
 stances, even if we were never to meet again, 
 gives the kind one a place in the stranger's heart, 
 ever to linger there. 
 
 "My dear friends," said the professor, as he be- 
 gan to unfold a small roll of maps, "this map gives 
 the supposed shape, or appearance of the universe, 
 as it would appear to one viewing from outer 
 space. 
 
 "This may, or may not be the appearance, but 
 from the fact that astronomers have found the 
 starry depths to be more densely populated in cer- 
 tain directions than others, has led them to believg 
 
132 EIGHT DAYS OUT 
 
 that the Universe may be shaped something lilie 
 an egg. Living on this earth, as we do, and look- 
 ing out into the great heavens, the appearance to 
 our human eye is that we Kve on the central, and 
 only great world in the Universe. Around us sails 
 a beautiful orb, called the Moon. This lovely es- 
 cort is not able to make the entire trip in one day, 
 but lags behind about one hour, and has been trav- 
 eling in that way for unknown ages. Around this 
 world, also moves another, a different and more 
 powerful orb, but it is farther away from us, and 
 each morning as it makes its appearance, the in- 
 habitants have become accustomed to call it one 
 day. Ouside of these two bodies we look upon a 
 shell, or globe which also seems to circle around 
 us, and when the sun does not dazzle our eyes, we 
 can see that it is thickly studded with bright lights, 
 or holes through the canopy into the regions of 
 light. Five of these bright lights appear to be on 
 the move, but their movements are unimportant, 
 except that at certain periods they return to their 
 former positions. For hundreds and perhaps 
 thousands of generations the majority of the hu- 
 man inhabitants believed that this was the true 
 state of affairs. As the ages rolled on, God sent 
 unbelievers into this world who said, 'Let us in- 
 
AMONG OTHER IVORLDS 133 
 
 vestigate,and if we find that things are not as they 
 appear, we may find a path which will lead us in 
 the right direction.' 
 
 "But the wise men objected and said, 'If you 
 dare doubt these sacred truths, as handed down 
 by our forefathers, we will brand you as an enemy 
 to the human family, and will have you put to 
 death.' The so-called wise men of those days 
 objected to investigation on the ground that it was 
 a blow aimed to destroy the truth. 
 
 "They took precisely the same ground as many 
 of the so-called great men of the churches of this 
 world take to-day, who through their influence have 
 caused the church to exclude from communication 
 some of the most intelligent of God's faithful ser- 
 vants. I believe that the day is near at hand when 
 science, simple science, will reveal to the human 
 family that not only the soul exists after death, but 
 that it holds communication with the soul of the 
 living through a strange medium which, as yet, we 
 are unable to comprehend. He or she who searches 
 out the medium whereby one mind holds its influ- 
 ence over another has struck the keynote, and the 
 door will open. The departed will step in, brush 
 aside the veil of darkness and reveal the fact that 
 death is not, as we had supposed, our enemy, but 
 is, and always was, our mutual friend. 
 
134 EIGHT DAYS OUT 
 
 "Now, dear friends, the science of astronomy has 
 taught us that nothing is as it appears, and able 
 thinkers have long contended that death was gov- 
 erned by the same law. God gave us our eyes and 
 other senses as a local convenience for temporary 
 use, but the mind must look for spiritual and eter- 
 nal truths. 
 
 "Thus we have learned that the moon and the 
 sun do not rise and set, and the heavenly canopy 
 does not move around us, but the world which 
 appears to be standing still is revolving on its axis, 
 which causes the deceit; that the moving stars are 
 not wandering about aimlessly but are planets like 
 our own, belonging to our solar system, and are 
 doubtless inhabited like our own world; that 
 the stars which we see in the heavens are not 
 one millionth part of the stars which existed 
 there; and that our world is only one of the mil- 
 lions of millions of similar worlds which inhabit 
 space, and that at least one of those worlds is in- 
 habited. Now I propose to take you there and 
 show you the strange people, which are not so un- 
 like ourselves as one might expect them to be." 
 
 The professor hesitated a moment, and then con- 
 tinued thus: 
 
 "One planet of all those millions in the great 
 
a 
 o 
 
 o 
 n 
 <u 
 
 o 
 
 a 
 ex 
 
 in 
 
AMONG OTHER IVORLDS 13t 
 
 heavens, we know to be the abode of human beings 
 like ourselves. I say this because I am able to 
 prove to your satisfaction that such is the case; not 
 only can I show to you the world on which they 
 live, but I can show you something of their habits 
 and how they exist. It is not unlike the other 
 worlds, but it is the only one that astronomers have 
 been, as yet, able to explore. 
 
 "In order to make it seem real to you, it is 
 essential that you know in what part of God's 
 Heavenly Universe that world is situated. As 
 you move onward with me on the wings of 
 thought, we shall be permitted to look to the 
 right and to the left and see something of the 
 glories of God, as they are seen and known to be, 
 by scientists who spend their lives in search- 
 ing out the marvelous truths and mighty wonders 
 of the great universe to which we belong. 
 
 "Suppose now," he said, as he held the map be- 
 hind him and looked up into the heavens, "that we 
 were far away beyond the stars of night. So far 
 that this Universe looked like a cluster of minute 
 shining specks. Then, on the wings of thought 
 as we began to approach the cluster we discovered 
 that the nearest of these bright points was mov- 
 ing, and soon we saw that others were moving, 
 
138 EIGHT DAYS OUT 
 
 and finally learned that none of them were station- 
 ary, but that the entire cluster was working like a 
 stupendous complicated mechanism, and that the 
 speck-like points which we had first discovered were 
 mighty glowing orbs, each surrounded by a great 
 family of helpless offspring. 
 
 "As we drew near, the great suns appeared 
 to separate — great gaps opened up between 
 them, until they stood out singly, millions 
 of millions of miles apart. It was like entering 
 a forest in which the trees, at a distance, seemed 
 to be in one solid bunch, but as one passes the 
 boundaries, single specimens appear on either 
 side, and one hardly realizes that he is entering 
 it until he finds himself among the great 
 trees where the outlook is similar on all sides. 
 
 "We were now gliding along on the wings 
 of thought accompanied by an angel, who 
 seemed to have joined us after we had entered 
 the Universe, and like one in a dream, we 
 did not wonder from whence he came, neither 
 did we think it strange. We did not ques- 
 tion his authority, neither were we startled 
 when he explained that this boundless wealth of 
 glory was to be our future home. Our hearts were 
 sad when we learned that of all this mighty do- 
 
AMONG OTHER IVORLDS 139 
 
 main, we would be permitted to explore only one 
 tiny world, the one which we had started out to 
 find. 
 
 "Amidst that starry galaxy we paused, and for a 
 moment our vision was expanded, that we might 
 behold the heavens as they really exist. We saw 
 that all the heavenly bodies were moving in elliptic 
 or circular orbits and although they were crossing 
 and re-crossing each other's paths, still there was 
 no confusion. Exact law and harmony seemed 
 blended together in such a way as to render sweet 
 peace, that peace which we can conceive of only 
 in absolute rest. The nearer globes appeared to be 
 plunging through space with a rapidity of which 
 we were unacquainted, while those farther away 
 moved less rapidly and many were so far away 
 that they appeared at rest. But we were informed 
 that all were moving at a rate from 200 to 3,000 
 miles a moment; carrying with them their train of 
 planets and comets, which were huddled under 
 the protecting wing of the great orb. 
 
 "In some cases we saw double globes, or suns, 
 which were revolving around each other, while the 
 planets of each hovered around their own mother 
 sun. Again three and four suns, then little groups 
 appeared to be banded together, and lastly we dis- 
 
140 EIGHT DAYS OUT 
 
 cerned that there were great star clusters, which 
 we first supposed to have been single stars. Of these 
 there were many hundred, and we were told that 
 each cluster contained thousands of suns with 
 their planets, all belonging to one family and trav- 
 eling in one body, while the cluster itself was but 
 one of the millions of orbs which take part in the 
 infinite array of the heavenly hosts. 
 
 "Just when we felt that our cup of wonder was, 
 even now, full, greater glories we beheld. In many 
 of those star systems, or clusters, we discovered 
 that there were stars of all colors, like the many 
 tints of the rainbow. In many instances they 
 looked not unlike a casket of precious gems. 
 There were green, red, yellow, purple, blue, or- 
 ange, russet, lilac and probably all the colors with 
 which we are acqainted,and it is readily conceived 
 that the blending together of the different colors 
 would form other colors, perhaps such as would 
 be strange to us. 
 
 "As we sped onward in search of that one world 
 which we intended to explore, we looked above, 
 below, around, and it was all the same. Some- 
 times we passed through a wilderness of darkness 
 which divided worlds of life, then passed great 
 lights which were the source of life to the 
 
AMONG OTHER IVORLDS 141 
 
 inhabitants of the worlds which traveled in that 
 heavenly train. 
 
 "We neared one of those star clusters and soon 
 found ourselves passing through its very center. 
 All the mighty chasms of darkness were seen no 
 more; we were in the regions of eternal day. 
 
 "We caught glimpses of those unknown worlds, 
 on which were mountains whose tops were not 
 bleak and cold, but clad in garlands of glorious life. 
 On one side of the mountain the blue morning sun 
 was beaming its soft tints over a peaceful bosom 
 of enchanted nature, beneath which frolicked crys- 
 tal streams adown the winding vales, which wider 
 grew as they neared the heaving sea. On the 
 other side the evening orange sun lingered upon 
 the higher hill tops, causing dark shades in the 
 deeper glens — valleys of peace - cradles of sweet 
 rest. The sea heaved gentle swelling waves, tinted 
 with dazzling hues from colored suns, upon the 
 shores where precious gems reflected far the blend- 
 ing harmony of an unknown world. 
 
 "x\nd I said to the angel, 'Surely this must be 
 the abode of eternal life. Oh that I could linger 
 one moment and behold its loveliness, that I might 
 never doubt again!' And the angel said: 'Look 
 and thou shalt see,' 
 
142 EIGHT DAYS OUT 
 
 "And I looked down through, as it were, a dark 
 shady glen, but I could not see on either side. Far 
 away in the distance I beheld a shady bower, in 
 which stood men, women and children, waiting, — 
 what they were waiting for I could not under- 
 stand. Beyond, I saw a habitation where spires 
 gleamed in dazzling array. Upon the border of 
 that habitation I saw a stately mansion which was 
 beautiful to look upon, and from it emerged a 
 group of eight,— four of the stronger and four of the 
 weaker sex, followed by a group of friends. Ten- 
 derly in their hands they bore a burden of gar- 
 lands gay, from which drooped wreaths of flower- 
 ing vines, and as they neared the shady groves they 
 rested the burden upon a mound of new-made 
 earth . 
 
 "While I gazed with wondering admiration they 
 raised the vine-clad cover, exposing to my view a 
 plain coffin, which four others lowered into the 
 grave, and the friends which followed near bowed 
 low with grief, and I conceived that they were 
 human, and that the loveliness which surrounded 
 their abode did not exempt them from pain and 
 death. 
 
 "My heart was sad and I turned to the angel and 
 asked: 
 
AMONG OTHER. IVORLDS 143 
 
 "^Of all these countless worlds of glory is there 
 not one where light and life reigns supreme over 
 darkness and death?' The angel replied: 
 
 '"Eternal life is for all; death is the great de- 
 liverer from the bonds of clay. All suffering or- 
 iginates in the material body; all happiness in the 
 spiritual body; blessed are they whose sufferings 
 are over. Rough rolling waves purify the water; 
 cold boisterous winds purify the atmosphere; and 
 suffering and sorrow purify the soul; why ad: 
 thou sad?' 
 
 "I turned to look at the beautiful world once 
 more, but it was far away and we were continuing 
 our journey through space 
 
 "Emerging from that region of eternal day, we 
 soon found ourselves passing over immense depths 
 of darkness again, where often a strange feeling 
 came over us, as if we were near some majestic 
 tomb of the sleeping dead, and I wondered if we 
 might not be near some slumbering sun, which had 
 lived its life of ten million times ten million years; 
 whose fires of youth had not only ceased to 
 shine, but its embers of old age had at last ceased 
 to glow, and now it was passing, with all its satel- 
 lites, through that strange scene we call death. 
 Sleeping, waiting in that dreamless state of peacQ 
 
144 EIGHT DAYS OUT 
 
 until it should be called forth to that brighter, 
 higher life than that of its former existence. 
 
 "As we flitted over heaven's boundless domain 
 we often neared great solar systems whose strange 
 but beautiful light cheered our path for an instant, 
 then we were in starlight again. 
 
 " Weary of our journey through the great heavens 
 we found our course directing us towards a solitary 
 sun, and not a large sun, for there were many much 
 more brilliant than the one we were approaching. 
 Between us and the system where we hoped to ex- 
 plore the strange world, was a mighty chasm — a 
 noiseless, cold, starlight void. Across this awful 
 void the distance was so great that a body, if trav- 
 eling ten million miles a moment, could not ac- 
 complish the journey in ten years, and still while 
 crossing this dark abyss we met a heavenly nomad 
 plodding along its lonely journey. 
 
 "As the strange object approached us, we dis- 
 covered it to be a great company of small material 
 worlds traveling on together. The number of 
 these tiny worlds was countless; the space occu- 
 pied for them to pass was thousands of miles, and 
 the length of the train was many times more than 
 its breadth and depth. I turned to the angel and 
 inquired; 
 
y^MONG OTHER IVORLDS 145 
 
 " 'Where did they come from; where are they go- 
 ing; what attraction keeps them from separating; 
 and what power impels them on?* 
 
 "He answered, 'God.'" 
 
INHABITANTS OF A STRANGE WORLD 
 
 "After passing the stranger (comet) we bore down 
 upon the solar system, one of whose worlds 
 we were to explore, and see, and converse with 
 the strange inhabitants. As we neared the mighty 
 orb a dazzling light shone upon us and we could 
 distinctly see the planets plying their course around 
 the central light. Some of the planets were beau- 
 tiful, being adorned with golden bands and sur- 
 rounded by a family of satellites of their own. 
 
 "Only one of the planets were we permitted to 
 visit and from what we learned there we must judge 
 of what might be found on the millions of others. 
 From the direction in which we came we dis- 
 covered that the world was white — it glimmered 
 in the far-off starlight like one vast sea of glass. 
 
 "It seemed to have but one motion, that of being 
 hurled forward on its course around the sun, but 
 as we came nearer we discovered a tiny dark body 
 nestling close to it, and soon we could see that the 
 
 146 
 
l}^ HA BIT ANTS OF A STRANGE IVORLD 147 
 
 world was whriling around on its axis like a top. 
 
 "The sea of glass did not extend over the entire 
 planet, but a great belt around the center of it 
 was strewn with lakes, rivers and oceans, which 
 covered a great part of the globe, but the remain- 
 der was land. The land consisted of hills, valleys, 
 mountains and plains, which were the abode of 
 many kinds of animals. Some of the animals were 
 small, others large; some were blind, others could 
 see; some had one mouth, others had a hundred. 
 They flew, hopped, ran and swam. Some of them 
 had more than a hundred legs and some less; six- 
 teen, twelve, eight, six, four, two, and some had 
 no legs at all. 
 
 "Human beings walked the earth who spoke 
 many strange languages, but for the time we were 
 permitted to understand them. The world was 
 small, or at least so, compared to those we had 
 viewed in the distance. The inhabitants, as a lot, 
 were strange creatures, but the human family, al- 
 though many of them were small in stature, being 
 not two feet tall, yet some of them were very in- 
 telligent. The large ones appeared to govern the 
 small ones, but they did not, as a rule, harm them, 
 but were often found protecting them at the hazard 
 of their own lives. 
 
148 EIGHT DAYS OUT 
 
 "Many of the people wore garments made of 
 grass, herbs and bushes, others used those made of 
 animals, and in some cases they ground the grasses 
 and the animals in together, which made quite a 
 nobby suit, worn very extensively by the fair 
 sex. 
 
 "Some of the animals ate each other and others 
 lived on herbs, but the people lived on both, al- 
 though they did not eat the animals when they 
 were alive. 
 
 "The people were black — black as jet, except 
 those who had apparently changed their color. 
 It appeared that the human inhabitants had been 
 introduced on the world in primeval days when 
 the world was enveloped in a foggy cloud, which 
 caused it to be dark, and their color was intended 
 to compare with the surroundings, but as the 
 world became lighter the people began to bleach 
 out, until the more energetic were white, and some 
 had pink eyes and white hair. 
 
 "Their laws were badly complicated, especially 
 their civil laws. They seemed to me to be a kind 
 of circulating medium to absorb the means of two 
 aggrieved parties. As long as each party provided 
 means to keep their part of the machinery well 
 greased the case could continue on, sometimes 
 
Inhabitants OF A STRANGE ivoRLD ]40 
 
 through an entire generation, or until it rotted out 
 or died with old age, but if either party failed to 
 furnish the wherewith of course the other won his 
 case. 
 
 "Their governors were absolute monarchs, or 
 at least had been, but later on the monarchs be- 
 came figure-heads. Even then it did not work 
 satisfactorily, for if a fool happened to be born heir 
 to the throne, and chanced to be cursed with lon- 
 gevity, why of course the subjects had to swallow 
 his doings. They took their medicine very well, 
 but I presume it often left a bad taste in their 
 mouths. 
 
 "Some countries were governed hy pnll. That 
 is, all the officials were elected or chosen to fill 
 all political positions, and the people being divided, 
 each party put up such men for election as could 
 pull the most votes. Honor or intelligence was 
 not, necessarily, one cf the requirements of a can- 
 didate, it was simply /;///. Whoever was elected 
 was so hampered with his preparations for the/;/// 
 of re-election that he had little time for serving the 
 people. The v^omen didn't vote, I don't know 
 whether it was because they didn't know enough, 
 or because they knew too much, probably the 
 latter; but still if they ever expect to have better 
 laws, they must take a hand in the matter. 
 
150 EIGHT DAYS OUT 
 
 "The people acted strangely; although they 
 knew that they were to live but a few days, yet 
 their great aim was to possess; to gather to them- 
 selves that which they well understood would soon 
 be taken from them. A sense of greed seemed to 
 possess the souls of many. Few cculd be found 
 who would acknowledge this^ but fewer still who 
 did not practice deception for the sake of gain. 
 The great masses used their gain to make them- 
 selves and their neighbors happy, but the two ex- 
 tremes were bad: on the one hand were the ones 
 who, single handed, took that which belonged to 
 others because they were too lazy to work and earn 
 it themselves; on the other hand were the greater 
 sinners who joined themselves together to buy the 
 products of the earth, not only the grain and the 
 ores, but the accumulated wealth of the wage- 
 earners, at a fair compensation, and then held 
 them from the people for the sake of obtaining 
 exorbitant usury. 
 
 "The laboring class were a conglomerated lot. 
 Their ranks were replenished from all breeds, colors 
 and kinds. The honest toilers were the salt of the 
 earth, and when they marched to battle they al- 
 ways won, but then, there were the extremes: on 
 one hand were the business class, whose hours of 
 
INHABITANTS OF A STRANGE IVORLD 151 
 
 toil consumed the whole round of the day, except 
 when they ate and slept, and often in their dreams 
 they were figuring out some gain or worrying over 
 some loss. The others were the unworthy, who 
 proudly boasted of their affinity to the laboring 
 fraternity, while the truth of the matter was they 
 were too lazy to work or keep their persons clean, 
 
 "They were drones, and had no use for the 
 prosperous ones, except when the wave of hard 
 times spread its blue mantle over the land, then 
 they would accept soup. 
 
 "An immense piety prevailed throughout the 
 land, and many able-bodied men and women spent 
 their lives in teaching others what they did not 
 know themselves. This piety, as a whole, was the 
 foundation of all the good laws and principles 
 which the world contained. It embodied all good 
 works: asylums for the aged and orphans; schools 
 for the children; and in many other ways seemed 
 to be a source of happiness to the people. But 
 it had its extremes which were so obnoxious as to 
 cause many worthy ones to turn from the faith in 
 disgust; one extreme, were those who lived within 
 the fold as a cloak for their misdoings. Under the 
 disguise of love and goodness they were enabled to 
 take advantage of the unsuspecting, who would 
 
152 EIGHT DAYS OUT 
 
 naturally place the blame on the society, when it 
 belonged to the individual; the others, of which 
 there were many, were those whose mind ran to 
 doctrine instead of good works. 
 
 "This class was a dangerous element. They held 
 radical views on the state of the soul after death, 
 and whoever disputed their rights to enforce their 
 theories, was counted as fit to neither live nor die. 
 This caused dissension in the society, disrupting 
 it, breaking it to fragments. But each fragment 
 formed a new sect all at enmity against each other; 
 each one claiming that its views were right and all 
 others were wrong. Being unable to find evidence 
 to substantiate the theories which they had set up, 
 they inflated their schemes with wind, and threat- 
 ened death to those who dare prick the bubble. 
 
 "If one of genius and greatness arose among them, 
 who dared search for the great truths which lay 
 within the reach of those people, he was at once 
 branded as an enemy to the cause, and as the cus- 
 tom might be, was either put to death, or ejected 
 from the society. So it came to pass that piety 
 acted as a mill-stone about the neck of many who 
 would have been great. 
 
 ''The sporting fraternity took a hand in the 
 affairs of this strange world, and if we would ac- 
 
INHABITANTS OF A STRANGE IVORLD 153 
 
 cept the views of the pious radicals, we should find 
 no extremes among them, for they were all bad. 
 We did find them shockingly bad, for they labored 
 but little, living mostly on what others had gained, 
 but they took it not by force. They gambled on 
 the result of animals matched against each other 
 in deadly struggles, and men in friendly combat; in 
 horse racing and many games of chance. They 
 gambled on the results of the products of the fields, 
 while it was yet ungrown. This was done on a 
 large scale; traps were laid which caught many 
 of the intelligent, causing them to commit suicide 
 and leave their families in ruin; besides, they built 
 immense warehouses where they stored the grain 
 which the people needed to eat, causing famine 
 and distress. Their field of gain was among those 
 who were inexperienced and simple enough to 
 catch at the bait which they threw out. 
 
 "Living lives of idleness, their hands found mis- 
 chief, and disorderly conduct was often the result of 
 their high-go performances. But we were surprised 
 to learn that cruel murders and inhuman treat- 
 ment did not belong entirely to this class. In fact 
 the percentage, if any, was very little more than 
 among the pious, and their record of the past was 
 never so dark as that of their accusers. Many 
 
154 EIGHT DAYS OUT 
 
 of the weaker sex were fair specimens of loving 
 kindness, who would give their last mite to relieve 
 the unfortunate. But they were on the downward 
 path, and the avenues of escape seemed to be cut 
 off; even though they would return they could not, 
 and I wondered if God, in his tender mercy, in 
 making up his jewels might not find many a Magda- 
 lene whose stain was on the outer garment only. 
 
 "Among the great mass of living, loving and 
 thinking human beings we found a few, just a few 
 who were not satisfied to eat of the fruits of the 
 earth, and say it is good; not satisfied to inhale 
 the balmy breeze wafted over crystal waters, bring- 
 ing sweet perfumes from the fragrant meadows 
 dewy hillsides and blooming vales, saying it is 
 lovely; not satisfied to listen to the warble of the 
 forest songsters, or the simple song of the loving 
 mother, v/hose heavenly strains lull the little coo- 
 ing babe to sweet rest, that rest which feels not 
 the noiseless wave of anxiety which sweeps along 
 with coming years; saying it is beautiful. 
 
 "But they ask the question, 'From whence came 
 all of this glory .^' 
 
 "In the early morning of human existence these 
 queer people began to trace back from results to 
 causes, and although human skill has not yet land- 
 
ti^HABITANTS OF A STRANGE IVORLb 155 
 
 ed at the nearest goal, still their discoveries were 
 wonderful. 
 
 "Each generation as they explored made marks 
 that the coming ones might begin where they had 
 left off. In this way they had measured the length 
 of the rivers and the width of the lakes; heights of 
 the mountains, and depths of the seas. They had 
 thrown a girdle around the earth, and strange to 
 say, had passed an imaginary line through the cen- 
 ter which gave the distance more exact than the 
 real one which encircled its surface. 
 
 "In some mysterious way they had reached out 
 to the moon, sun, planets and far-away stars, and 
 could tell their approximate distances. They had 
 erected a huge pair of scales, whereby they had 
 weighed the mountains, the seas and the world. 
 Then the moon was rolled on, the sun, the planets, 
 and, incredible as it may seem, those far-off distant 
 worlds which they had discovered had been bal- 
 anced on the mighty beam and their density 
 learned. 
 
 "They had caught the motion of the earth and 
 other heavenly bodies, and found their movement 
 so exact that they knew just where a planet was 
 one thousand years ago or would be one thousand 
 years to come. But strangest of all, they pointed 
 
156 EIGHT DAYS OUT 
 
 to the far-off star called Sirius, and proved that it 
 was traveling from us at the rate of about twelve 
 thousand miles a minute, but at that rate it would 
 not get out of sight in thousands of years. 
 
 "Such is the immensity of eternal space and the 
 enormity of unknown time that the human intellect 
 cannot conceive the faintest glimmer, and yet 
 these things are true," said the professor, "and if 
 you wish to see the eccentric people of that strange 
 world look at each other, for it is our own world 
 which we were sent on the heavenly voyage to ex- 
 plore." 
 
 We looked at each other queerly, undecided which 
 to do, laugh or cry, for we realized that we had 
 been sold, and yet the imaginary had been so 
 blended with the real that no intelligent person 
 could pass it as a joke. 
 
 Just then we were aroused from our revery by 
 the hollow sound of the steamer's whistle, and we 
 hastened to look out over the star-lit waters, upon 
 the seemingly low border lands of Illinois. 
 
 As we approached the dark border we discov- 
 ered lights, apparently placed along the shore, but 
 as we came nearer we could discover that some 
 of the lights were higher than others, and soon be- 
 gan to discern the towering edifices of the great 
 city of Chicago. 
 
INHABITAhlTS OF A STRANGE WORLD 157 
 
 It was not yet dawn and the inhabitants were 
 asleep. , Sickness and anxiety barred the angel of 
 rest from a few homes, and the night laborer and 
 watchman stolidly welcomed each new hour. But 
 before us more than two million ever watchful 
 souls silently hovered, each over its own animate 
 body while it rested preparatory for the days cam- 
 paign, in which they would hardly stop to think 
 that each day's record must remain as written; 
 that every cause, good or bad, has its merited re- 
 sults; that the journal of life is a small book writ- 
 ten by the owner; closed at death's evening and 
 opened in life's morning, as evidence for or against; 
 and that he or she who hurls the poisoned arrow 
 out upon its apparently endless voyage, would some 
 day be surprised to learn that by God's universal 
 law of justice it will return again as an unwelcome 
 guest to justly claim the right of inheritance. 
 
 THE END 
 
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