PS 635 wstys order " PEWITT'S " Acting Plays. .Z9 C558 Copy 1 PRICE 15 CENTS. $C*§? DE WITT'S ACTING PLAYS. (Number 323.) A WIFE BY ADVERTISEMENT. A Farce, IN ONE ACT. By CLIFTON CLIFFE. TOGETHER WITH A Description of the Costumes— Cast of the Characters— Entrances and Exits— Relative Positions of the Performers on the Stage— and the whole of the Stage Business. Jgm loth : DE WITT. PUBLISHER >fr§& No. 33 Hose Street W A COMPLETE DESCRIPTIVE CATALOGUE OF OE WITT'S ACTING NOW ^ PLAYS ANO DE WITT'S ETHIOPIAN AND COMIC DRAMAS, containing S Plots, Costume, Scenery, Time of Representation, and every other informa- RKAOY. / tion( maile d free and post-paid. - ' ( tic DE WITT'S ETHIOPIA! AND COMIC DRAMA. Nothing so thorough and complete in the way of Ethiopian and Comic Dramas has ever been printed as those that appear in the following list. Not only are the plots excellent, the characters droll, the incidents funny, the language humorous, but all the situations,^by-play, positions, pantomimic business, scenery, and tricks are so plainly set down and clearly explained that the merest novice could put any of them on the stage. Included in this Catalogue are all the most laughable and effective pieces of their class ever produced. *** In ordering please copy the figures at the commencement of each piece, which indicate the number of the piece in " De "Witt's Ethiopian and Comic Drajia." jGST Any of the following Plays sent, postage free, on receipt of price — Fifteen Cents \ each. JG®* The figure following tho name of the Play denotes the number of Acts. The figures in the columns indicate the number of characters — M. male; F. female. M. F. 141. Absent Minded, Ethiopian farce, 1 act 3 1 73. African Box, burlesque, 2 scenes ... 5 107. African us Bluebeard, musical Ethi- opian burlesque, 1 scene 6 2 113. Ambition, farce, 2 scenes 7 133. Awful Plot (An) Ethiopian farce, la. 3 1 43. Baby Elephant, sketch, 2 scenes 7 1 42. Bad' Whiskey, Irish sketch, 1 scene. 2 1 79. Barney's Courtship, musical inter- lude, 1 act 1 2 40. Big Mistake, sketch, 1 scene 4 6. Black Chap from Whitechapel, Ne- gro piece 4 10. Black Chemist, sketch, 1 scene 3 11. Black-Ey'd William,sketch,2 scenes 4 1 146. Black Forrest (Tho),Ethiopian farce, 1 act 2 1 110. Black Magician (De).Ethiopian com- icality 4 2 126. Black Statue (The). Negro farce 4 2 127. Blinks and Jinks, Ethiopian sketch. 3 1 128. Bobolino, the Black Bandit, Ethio- pian musical farce, 1 act 2 1 120. Body Suatchers (The),Negro sketch, 2 scenes 3 1 78. Bogus Indian, sketch, 4 scenes 5 2 89. Bogus Talking Machine (The), farce, 1 scene 4 24. Bruised and Cured, sketch, 1 scene. 2 108. Charge of the Hash Brigade, comic Irish musical sketch 2 2 148. Christmas Eve in the South, Ethio- pian farce, 1 act 6 2 35. Coal Heaver's Revenge,Negro sketch, 1 scene 6 112. Coming Man (The), Ethiopian sketch, 2 scenes . 3 1 41. Cremation, sketch, 2 scenes 8 1 144. Crowded Hotel (The), sketch, 1 sc. 4 1 140. Cupid's Frolics, sketch, 1 scene 5 1 12 Daguerreotypes, sketch, 1 scene 3 53. Damon and Pythias, burlesque, 2 sc. 5 1 63. Darkey's Stratagem, sketch. 1 scene 3 1 131. Darkey Sleep Walker (The), Ethio- pian sketch, 1 scene ". . . 3 1 12i. 111. 139. 50. 64. 'Jo. 07. 4. 133. 98. 51. 152. 106. 83. 77. 17. 58. 31. 20. 82. 130. 86. 70.- 61. 142. 23. 118. Deaf as a Post, Ethiopian sketch.. . . 2 Deeds of Darkness, Ethiopian ex- travaganza, 1 act 6 Desperate Situation (A), farce, 1 sc. 5 Draft (The), sketch, 2 scenes 6 Dutchman's Ghost, 1 scene 4 Dutch Justice, laughable sketch, A scene 11 Motor's Troubles, farce, 1 scene.. . 6 Eh ? What is it ? sketch 4 Election Day, Ethiopian farce, 2 sc. 6 Elopement (The), farce, 2 scenes. . . 4 Excise Trials, sketch, 1 scene 10 Fellow that Looks like Me, inter- lude, 1 scene 2 First Night (The), Dutch farce, 1 act 4 Fisherman's Luck, sketch, 1 scene. 2 Fuu in a Cooper's Shop, Ethiopian sketch .' 6 Gambrinus, King of Lager Beer, Ethiopian burlesque, 2 scenes. ... 8 German Emigrant (The), sketch. lsc. 2 Getting Square on the Call Boy, sketch, 1 scene 3 Ghost (The), Sketch, 1 act 2 Ghost in a Pawn Shop, sketch. 1 sc. 4 Glycerine Oil, sketch, 2 scenes 3 Going for the Cup. interlude 4 Good Night's Rest, sketch, 1 scene. 3 Go and get Tight, Ethiopian sketch, 1 scene 6 Gripsack, sketch, 1 scene 3 Guide to the Stage, sketch 3 Happy Couple, 1 scene , 2 Happy Uncle Rufus, Ethiopian mu- sical sketch, 1 scene 1 Hard Times, extravaganza. 1 scene. 5 Helen's Funny Babies, burlesque. 1 act 6 Hemmed In. sketch 3 High Jack, the Heeler, sketch, 1 sc. 6 Hippotbeatron, sketch 9 How to Pay the Rent, farce. 1 scene 6 In and Out, sketch. 1 scenp 2 Intelligence Office (The), Ethiopian sketch, 1 scene 2 A WIFE BY ADVERTISEMENT. An Entirely New and Original Farce. IN ONE ACT. BY CLIFTON CLIFFE TOGETHER WITH A DESCRIPTION OF THE COSTUMES CAST OP THE CHARACTERS ENTRANCES AND EXITS RELATIVE POSITIONS OF THE PERFORMERS ON THE STAGE, AND THE WHOLE OF THE STAGE BUSINESS. ■ NEW YORK: DEWITT, PUBLISHER, No. 33 Rose Street. Copyright, 1884, by A. T. B. Db WITT. A WIFE BY ADVERTISEMENT. CHARACTE11S. y Clyde Clynton, of the Custom House. Madge Clynton, his wife. Jack Clynton, his brother. ^. \) Valerie De Vigne, an Adventuress. James, a servant. Detective. x v* TIME OF PLAYING— FIFTEEN MINUTES. SCENERY. Scene.— Nicely furnished room in Clydk Clynton's house, Hose Grove, Fordham. Clyde and Madge discovered at Breakfast. COSTUMES. Clyde Clynton. — Neat walking suit. Jack Clynton.— Fashionable, rather showy, walking-suit. Madge Clynton.— Handsome morning dress. Valerie Yigne. — Very stylish street costume. James.— Servant's plain dark clothes. Detective.— Ordinary walking-suit. PROPERTIES. Letter, for James ; pipe, for Clyde ; decanter of wine, and glasses ; memoranda book, for James. STAGE DIRECTIONS. R. means Right of Stage, facing the Audience; L. Left; C. Centre; R. C. Right of Centre ; L. C. Left of Centre. D. F. Door in the Flat, or Scene running across the back of the Stage ; C. D. F. Centre Door in the Flat ; R. D. F. Right Door in the Flat ; L. D. F. Left Door in the Flat ; R. D. Right Door ; L. D. Left Door; 1 E First Entrance ; 2 E. Second Entrance ; U. E. Upper Entrance ; 1, 2 or 3 G. First Second or Third Groove. R. R. C. C. L. C. L. U2P 3 The reader is supposed to be upon the stage facing the audience. TMP92-008S59 A WIFE BY ADVERTISEMENT. Scene.— Nicely furnished room in Clyde Clynton's house, Rose Grove, Fordham. Clyde and Madge discovered at Breakfast Madge. Well, Clyde dear, you haven't to go to that odious Custom House to-day, have you? So we shall have one more day together. I don't know what I shall do when you go baek. Only fancy, it will seem so dreadful your being away from ten till four every day! Clyde. Hardly so bad as that, dueky; you know I never go till nearly eleven o'clock, and nearly always return about half-past two or three. Madge. Yes ; but consider how terribly hard you have to work during that time. Now, what do you really do in the office ? Clyde. Well, dearest, I make it a rule to read whatever's interest- ing in the " Times" and the "Herald," first of all, then I go and get a glass of lager, and smoke a weed, and then Madge. {Anxiously). What then? Clyde. Oh! then' I go back and look through the other papers, do a little writing, and come home. Madge. And you are expected to do all that for $2000 a-year? It's preposterous. Really shameful. Clyde. Yes, my dear, it is ; but do you know, I sometimes think that I might do worse, for I have my evenings free, and manage to make another thousand by writing critiques, musical and theatrical, for the papers, which same writing I manage to do, between times, in the office. Now there's my poor young brother, Jack, he's in the Patent Office, and has any amount of work to do, a great deal harder than mine, and he only gets $1000 a-year for it. Poor old Jack, I wonder what his next craze will be? Y~ou know, pet, that Jack is always going in for something fresh. (A knock at the door. Clyde calls) Come in. {Apause, and then louder) Come in. {Another pause— he shouts) Come in ! {Enter James r. d. ) Clyde. {Angrily). Why the Dickens didn't you come in when I told you ? James. (Rubbing his hands). Well, sir— You see, sir— I've been in a goodish many situations, sir — and you see, sir, newly married couples, sir Clyde. (In a rage). Newly married fools. James. Yes, sir'; certainly, sir; newly married fools, sir, don't usually like servants to come in too qnick, sir. 4 A WIFE BY ADVERTISEMENT. Clyde. What tlie Dickens do you mean ?— do you dare to insinuate that / am — am — am — am a p ool f James. Oh, sir' no, sir! certainly not, sir; I hopes I knows— (In trepidation)— my place, sir; and if ycu please, sir, a boy "brought this letter, sir, he says it's from the Patent Office, sir Madge. The "Patent Officer ?— does he mean some new kind of an officer. James. Oh, no, miss. Clyde. Dash it all, sir, your mistress is not a miss* James. No, sir, I shouldn't think as how she was amiss, sir! I thinks that on the Gontrairy she's rather pretty, sir. Clyde. Confound your impudence j this is intolerable. Give me the letter, and go to the devil. Madge. This is going too far, I won't listen any longer. (Exit L.D.) James. (Giving letter). Yes, sir; certainly, sir. Will you pay my fare, sir? Clyde. You're very near to a fool . James. (Edging close up to Clyde). Yes, sir r I think Lam, sir. Clyde. Get out of this, will you ? James. Yes, sir ; the boy's waiting, sir. Clyde. Go to the devil. James. Yes, sir; I'll tell him you're coming, sir. (Exit R. D.) Clyde tears open the letter, and reads aside : — "Dear Clyde, — I have been and gone and done it at last." I guess it ain't the first time. "I have gone in a buster." The Dickens he has. "I have advertised in " Matrimonial Times " as follows." Phew — w — w. '"A gentleman of good family, and most prepossessing ap- pearance, 24 years of age, tall, fair, with blue eyes and auburn hair." Auburn hair! "and of most gentle and loving disposition, wishes to meet with a lady who has a moderate income of her own, with a view to matrimony." Oh, Law! "C. J., No. 1024, this office." Well, old man, I got no less than five hundred and eighty-six replies, half of which enclosed portraits — one of them was grand. It was from Mrs. Valerie De Vigne, a widow without encumbrances, and $3000 a-year, more or less." Yes, especially less, I'll bet. "She wants to marry just such a young fellow as I. Of course she asked for an appoint- ment. What was I to do ; a poor beggar living in furnished apart- ments, consisting of one small bed-room; I couldn't ask her there!" I suppose not. " So I told her I Avas living at Rose Grove, Fordham," Dash it! that's here. " and should be glad to see her on the 25th," Confound it, that's to-day. " at 12 o'clock." (Looling at watch.) And it's half -past eleven now. "I applied for leave, but have failed to get it; so you must see her for me, and explain and all tbat, and I will come round at two. Till then, your affectionate brother, Jack." Well, here's a pretty kettle of fish. What will Madge say ' I can't tell her that Jack's made such a dunce of himself. (Entei Madge l. d.) I must dissemble — Ah, Madge ! — a lady is coming to see me on business at 12 o'clock ; will you kindly see that Madge. (Angrily). A lady! what do you mean, sir? Only just married to me, and receiving letters from ladies, making appointments under this very roof. It's shameful! — It's horrible! — I won't allow it, sir! Clyde. (In mock tragic tones). Now, Madge, just listen. It is not an affair of my own : it is about a " government contract " I have to see her. I would willingly tell you all about it, but my duty to my country seals my lips. I have to see her, and Jack has to see her — he is com* A WIFE BY ADVERTISEMENT. O ing for that purpose at two o'clock. The fate of this great country depends upon our secrecy. . . Madge Oh very well, I will retire when she arrives. {Aside). And if I don't listen through the keyhole to all you say, I'm not a woman. Clyde walks across the room, takes a pipe from a rack, fills it, lights it and tries to smoke, finds it won't draw. Clyde. Have you a hairpin, Madge ? Madge. No! I don't hairpin to have one— Clyde. Oh! well then, I suppose it's " needles" to ask you. Madge. Oh! I wonder you don't keep one specially for your nasty old pipe. . ' Clyde. It's not a nasty old pipe ; it's my best friend. Madge. Then I count for nothing— Oh— oh— (lakes out her hand- kerchief and commences to cry). Clyde. (Sympathetically}. Now, don't be foolish, Madge; of course you are very much more than a friend. You are my ownest own, my duckey, darling wifey, and no one can ever be preferred to you! Madge. Then if that is true, I won't cry any more. {Loud knock at door R.) Clyde (shouts) Come in Enter James. Please, sir, a lady to see you, sir; {aside) and aint she a flash 'un neither. Oh, no! not at all. Clyde. Show her up at once, James. Madge, my darling, will you kindly retire ? (Exit James r. d. Madge l. d.) Clyde. By Jove ! suppose she takes me for Jack. Happy thought : I'll pretend t am Jack, and find out all I can about her,— Ah, here she comes (rushes to glass, arranges his hair and moustache. (Enter r. d. Valerie, followed closely by James; she rushes to Clyde and seizes his hand). Val. Oh, Mr. Clynton, if you but knew how I have longed for this moment. James. (Aside). Well, if that aint warm. Strikes me, I've heard that voice before, and she's just about the height of that sister of mine that went to be housekeeper to old Fitznoodle. Clyde. (Discovering James). James, how dare you enter without being called? Leave the room at once, or I'll James. Oh, Law!— Oh, Law!— aint his temper up neither. (Exit James r. d.) Val. Now, Mr. Clvnton, now we have met, I think you are even better and nicer thanl had imagined, and I feel sure that we shall be very happy together. Clyde. * Do you, though? Val. Yes, 1 do. Don't you? Clyde. Well, you see, I can't see what you are like. Val. (Ilaisinq her veil).. Now, sir, will I do? Clyde. (Aside). She's devilish pretty, but rather too much paint. (To Val). Yes, you may; but of course you know we've got a lot to talk about, and to see more of each other before we settle matters. Val. Oh, yes, of course we have. In the first place I must tell you that when I married my poor dear Mr— ah— Jones. Clyde. Jones f I thought his name was De Vigne ? 6 A WIFE BY ADVERTISEMENT. Val. Of course. You see, Jack, the excitement of this meeting is too much for me, driving my head all topsy-turvy ; fancy my forgetting the name of my husband. It's quite too awfully absurd, now, isn't it? Clyde. Yes; yes. Quite too — too — utterly, intensely ah — con- summately absurd— (aside) — and very suspicious, too. Val. Oh, Jack! do you go in for aesthetics then? I do so love aesthetics. Clyde. Oh, you do — do you? (Aside). She's an impostor; I must manage to dismiss her and save my brother. (Knock at the door, r.) Clyde. Dash it ! it's— Oh, I am sure — I beg your pardon Come in. (Enter James r. t>.) James. Please, sir, missus sent me to say — (Val starts)— would you like some wine sent in. Clyde. Wine, not — Ah, yes, of course by all means; yes, send it — that is, bring it in. (Aside). Just the tiling: I'll give her an over-dose and find out all. (Exit James r. d. ) Val. What did I hear ? — his mistress sent him ! Who is that, Jack ? Are you — ma — mar-ma — married already? Clyde. My wife — no — my sister keeps house for me. You see, the excitement of this meeting is driving things topsy-turvey in my mind now. (Another knock). Come in. (Enter James with refreshments R. D.) Val. You will introduce me to your sister, I hope ? Clyde. Not I — that is — oh yes, of course. James. (Aside). His sister — whatever is the game ? And her voice, too. I am almost certain it is my sister. I'll get round to the front and look at her. (Creeps round; Val. looks at him, then drops her veil). James. (Aside). I could almost swear to it! I'll watch — I'll go in the next room and look through the keyhole. No, I can't though, 'cause missus is a-doin that.— Oh, I know! I'll pop in suddenly, with- out knockin', and I'll catch her then, I'll warrant. Clyde. Now, James, what are you waiting for? You can go. James. Yes, sir. Certainly, sir. (Aside.) Fll catch you yet, Miss Jemima, «see if I don't. (Exit R. d.) Val. helps herself to a glass oficine; drinks it off. Clyde starts. Clyde. (Aside). Well, she's a bold one. Val. Well, Jack, as I was saying, when I married poor Jo De Vigne, I was only a girl. We lived most happily together, and when he died he left me all his fortune, which brings me in about $2000. Clyde. Ah, yes! just the same as my salary at the Custom House. Val. But I thought you said you were in* the Patent Office, and only got $1000 a-year. Clyde. Yes, of course, I meant the same as my younger — that is, elder brother gets at the Custom House — so that it, it's necessary for my brother— I mean for me, to get married to someone with a little money of her own. Madge. (From other room). Oh! you brute, you. Clyde and Val. both jump from their seats. Val. What was that? Clyde. Oh, ah! my sister talking to the dog in the next room, I expect, that's all Madge from the next room screams. Clyde, Oh! the brute must have bitten her. I must go and see. (Exit in haste L. d. ) Val. 'Tis all very strange. I almost believe he is as big a swindler A WIFE BY ADVERTISEMENT. i as myself ; but what am I to do ? I must get married, and that quickly; for, with a husband, nobody would suspect me of being Jemima Jones, Fitznoodle's housekeeper, who ran off with all his portable property during his absence at Newport. And those horrible detectives too, they are following me, I know, but I will throw them off the track yet. Madge. {Screaming in next room). Go away, you brute, leave me at once; go back to that woman. Val. What's that I hear? I must listen. — (Goes to keyhole: suddenly starts away again). What's that? Oh, the wretch, he calls her his darling wife ; he's married already. (Faints. Enter James, r. d. James. Now madam, or miss, we'll see who you are. {Goes up to Val. and raises her veil). Yes! it is as I thought, my long lost sister. Enter r. d. Clyde and Madge, arm-in-arm. Clyde. What are you doing there, James? James. A-looking at my sister, sir. Clyde and Madge together. Your sister? James. Yes, my sister. Clyde. Then it's clear she's an impostor. James. Did she say as how she warn't my sister then ? Clyde. No, but she said she was somebody else, which is much the same thing. James. Oh, Law! Oh, Law? Sharper than a serpent's sister it are to have an ungrateful tooth. No, that aint it, I'm wrong somewhere. (Knock at door, r.) Clyde calls Come in. (Enter Detective r. d.) Clyde. Well, sir, what's your business? Detective. I am a detective from the Central Office, and from in- formation received James. Oh, Law! that's a fine saying, and quite new too; I'll put it down. ( Takes out pocket-book). Clyde. Shut up. James. ( Writing). Yes, sir. Certainly, sir. From i-n in f-o-r for m-a-y may s-h-u-n tion information r-e re s-e-e see e-v-e-d cvcd, from information received I shuts up Detective. Well, sir, we have been informed that a lady that we want, has been seen to enter this house, and — Oh, there she is — {Crosses to Val., who has just recovered). Miss Jemima Jones, you are my prisoner on a charge of robbery. James. Oh, Law! from information received, I casts her off. She aint no longer my sister. (Enter Jack in a hurry, r. d. Jack. Clyde, old man, congratulate me, my salary is raised to $2000 at last, and 1 shan't have to marry a "Matrimonial Times" wife after all, but go in the country, and espouse my dear little cousin Lillie, whom I have loved all my life. Clyde. We congratulate you, old boy, most heartily, though you have put us in a pretty kettle of fish here. Here's this Mrs. Valerie De Vigne, alias James's sister James. No she aint; from inflammation — no, information received I casts her off. Clyde. Well, then, this person comes here, mistakes me for you, puts Madge in no end of a way, aud finishes up by getting arrested for robbery. Let this be a warning, and if you happen to want a wife again, don't try to get one by advertisement. CERTAIN. DB WITT'S MtTSICAL AlBtJM SERIES, The Cheapest Collection of Music ever Published. Price, 25 Cents Each. AT REGULAR MUSIC PUBLISHERS' PRICES THIS NUMBER OF PIECES WOULD COST OVER FIVE DOLLARS. *** Printed on heavy music paper, with an elegant Lithographic Cover, printed in colors. ^^ . No. 1. CAPTAIN JINKS MUSICAL ALBUM. Containing fifteen pieces of the most popular Music. Arranged for the Voice and Piano by Henry Tucker. Contains many of the finest pieces of music that have been published for years. They arc all by composers eminent for their genius. No. 2. PAREPA ROSA'S OWN ENGLISH PALLADS. Containing fifteen pieces of the most popular Music. Arranged for Voice and Piano by Henry Tucker. A collection that may safely be pronounced as the best collection ever issued. No. 3. SPARKLING GEMS OF SONG AND MUSIC. As sung by the Chapman sisters, Ella and Blanche. This collection is arranged for the Voice and Piano by Henry Tucker. The same number of match- less pieces were never before collected in one publication at any price. No. 4. PEARLS FROM ENGLISH OPERA. Containing fourteen beautiful compositions, as sung by the Parepa Rosa Troupe. Ar- ranged for the Voice and Piano by Henry Tucker. A professor of the divine art " has only to glance at the music pages to see how admirably the accompaniments are arranged. No. 5. BRYANT'S CASKET OF MUSICAL GEMS. Con- taining fifteen pieces of the very finest Songs and Ballads, as sung by the BRYANT OPERA TROUPE. Arranged for Voice and Piano by Henry Tucker. No finer collection of choice music has ever appeared than this. The whole combined makes a parterre of the flowers of song. No. 6. THE "HEATHEN CHINEE" MUSICAL ALBUM. Containing fifteen pieces of choice Songs and Ballads-mostly comic. The music arranged for Voice and Piano, expressly for this work, by Henry Tucker The laughable piece that gives title to the above is bound to be the most popular of recent tunes. It is so thoroughly " Chinee " in all its characteristics that one would think its admirable composer had fed on birds' nests— and nightingales 1 at that— all his life. No. 7. THE NILSSON VOCAL REPERTOIRE. Contain- in^ fourteen of the best Songs of the best singer of the age, as sung by Christine Nilsson. Arranged for the Voice and Piano by Henry Tucker. Containing many of the choice Ballads and Operatic Songs so exquisitely warbled by the Swedish Nightingale. Printed on elegant, heavy music paper. Cover very beautifully executed in litho-cromo, with an expressive likeness of Miss Nilsson. No. 8. LYRIC GEMS FROM OPERA BOUFFE. Contain- ino- the very best songs in Offenbach's Opera Bouffe, "La Prmcesse de Trebizonde " Arranged for the Voice and Piano by Henry Tucker. Every one of the above Songs was composed by that great mcestro of serio-comie melody Offenbach. Music light, sparkling and bubbling with mirthfulness. v n q SOL SMITH RUSSELL'S MUSICAL ALBUM. Con- tainine fourteen pieces of choice Songs and Ballads— mostly comic. The Music arranged for Voice and Piano, expressly for this work, by Henry Tucker Alfthe above pieces have been carefully selected from many hundred of the most popular songs now in vogue. No. 10. FREDERIC MACCABE'S MUSICAL ALBUMS Containing twelve pieces of the very finest Songn, Salads, Walter and Polkas, written aud composed by Frederia Maccabe. DE WITT'S ACTUG PLAYS. jBQ* Please notice that nearly all the Comedies, Farces and Comediettas in the following List of " De Witt's Acting Plays » are very suitable for representation in small Amateur Theatres and on Parlor Stages, as they need but little extrinsic aid from complex scenery or expensive costumes. They have attained their deserved popularity by their droll situa- tions, excellent plots, great humor and brilliant dialogues, no less than by the fact that tlicy are the most perfect in every respect of any edition of plays ever published either in the "United States or Europe, whether as regards purity of text, accuracy and fullness of stage directions and scenery, or elegance of typography and clearness of printing. °* * In ordering please copy the figures at the commencement of each piece, which indicate the number of the piece in " De Witt's List of Acting Plats." jg^=- Any of the following Plays sent, postage free, on receipt of price— Fifteen Cents each. Kg- The figure following the name of the Play denotes the number of Acts. The figures in the columns indicate the number of characters— M. male; F. female. M. F. 222. Cool as a Cucumber, farce, 1 act.. . . 3 2 248. Cricket on the Hearth, drama, 3 acts 8 6 1U7. Cupboard Love, farce, 1 act 2 152. Cupid's Eye-Glass, comedy, 1 act.. 1 52. Cup of Tea, comedietta, 1 act 3 148, Cut Off with a Shilling, comedietta, 1 act 2 113. Cyril's Success, comedy, 5 acts 10 20. Daddy Gray, drama, 3 acts 8 286. Daisy Farm, drama, 4 acts 10 4. Dandelion's Dodges, farce, 1 act... 4 22. David Garricli, comedy, 3 acts 8 3 275. Day After the Wedding, farce, 1 act 4 2 96. Dearest Mamma, comedietta, 1 act.. 4 3 16. Dearer than Life, drama, 3 acts.... 6 5 58. Deborah (Leah), drama, 3 acts 7 6 125. Deerfoot, farce, 1 act 5 J 71. Doing for the Best, drama, 2 acts.. 5 3 142. Dollars and Cents, comedy, 3 acts. . 9 4 204. Drawing Boom Car(A).coniedy,l act 2 1 21. Dreams, drama, 5 acts 6 3 260. Drunkard's Warning, drama, 3 acts 6 3 240. Drunkard's Doom (The), drama, 2a.l5 5 263. Drunkard (The), drama, 5 acts 13 5 186. Duchess de la Valliere.play, 5 acts.. 6 4 242. Dumb Belle (The), farce, 1 act 4 2 47. Easy Shaving, farce, 1 act 5 2 283. E. C. B. Susan Jane, musical bur- lesque, 1 act 8 1 202. Eileen Oge, Irish drama. 4 acts 11 3 315. Electric Love, farce, 1 act 1 1 297. English Gentleman (An), comedy- drama, 4 acts 7 * 200. Estranged, operetta. 1 act 2 1 135. Everybody's Friend, comedy. 3 acts 6 230. Family Jars, musical farce, 2 acts.. 5 103. Faust and Marguerite, drama. 3 acts 9 9. Fearful Tragedy in the Seven Dials, interlude, 1 act • * 128. Female Detective, drama, 3 acts. xOl! Fernaude, drama. 3 acts 99. Fifth Wheel, comedy, 3 acts 10 262, Fifteen Years of a Drunkard's Life, melodrama, 3 acts 13 145. First Love, comedy, 1 act 4 102. Foiled, drama. 4 acts 9 88. Founded on Facts, farce, 1 act 4 75. Adrienne, drama, 3 acts. 7 231. All that Glitters is not Gold, comic drama, 2 acts " 308, All on Account of a Bracelet, come- dietta, 1 act • • • • • * 114. Anything for a Change,comedy.l act 6 167. Apple Blossoms, comedy, 3 acts. . . 7 93. Area Belle, farce, 1 act «> 40. Atchi, comedietta, 1 act 3 89. Aunt Charlotte's Maid, farce, 1 act. 6 258. Aunt Dinah's Pledge, temperance drama, 2 acts 6 287. Bachelor's Box (La Petite Hotel), comedietta, 1 act 4 166. Bardell vs. Pickwick, sketch. 1 act. 6 310. Barrack Boom (The), comedictta,2a. 6 41. Beautiful Forever, farce, 1 act 2 ^ 141. Bells (The), drama, 3 acts 9 3 223. Betsey Baker, farce, 1 act 2 67. Birthplace of Podgers, farce, 1 act.. 7 36. Black Sheep, drama, 3 acts 7 5 279. Black-Eyed Susan, drama, 2 acts. . . 14 2 296. Black ^nd White, drama, 3 acts 6 3 160. Blow for Blow, drama, 4 acts 11 6 179. Breach of Promise, drama, 2 acts. . 5 2 25. Broken-Hearted Club, comedietta. . 4 8 70. Bonnie Fish Wife, farce, 1 act 3 1 261. Bottle (The), drama, 2 acts 11 6 226. Box and Cox, Romance,^ act 2 1 24. Cabman No. 93, farce, 1 act 2 2 199. Captain of the Watch, comedietta, lact 6 2 1. Caste, comedy, 3 acts 5 3 175. Cast upon the World, drama, 5 acts.ll I 55. Catharine Howard, historical play, 3 acts 12 G9. Caught by the Cuff, farce, 1 act. ... 4 80. Charming Pair, farce, 1 act 4 G5. Checkmate, comedy. 2 acts 6 C8. Chevalier de St. George, drama,. 3a. 9 I J 9. Chimney: Corner (The), domestic drama, 3 acts 5 76. Chops of the Channel, farce, 1 act.. 3 205. Circumstances alter Cases, comic operetta, 1 act 1 1 149. Clouds, comedy, 4 acts 8 7 121. Oomicai Countess, farce, 1 act 3 1 2 7 1 4 11 10 2 4 1 3 2 DE WITT'S ACTING PLAYS, -Continued. *59 Fruits of the Wine Cup, drama, 3cts 6 192. Game of Cards (A), comedietta, la.. 3 74. Garrick Fever, farce, 1 act. ..... . . . 7 53. Gertrude's Money Box, farce, 1 act. 4 73. Golden Fetters (Fetterttd), drama, 3.11 30. Goose with the Goldeu Eggs, farce, lact • J 131. Go to Putney, farce, 1 act .- . * 276. Good for Nothing, comic drama, la. 5 306. Great Success (A), comedy, 3 acts.. 8 277. Grimshaw, Bagshaw and Bradshaw, farce, 1 act . .. 4 208. Heir Apparent (The), farce, 1 act. . . 5 1 241 . Handy Andy, drama, 2 acts iu J 23. Happy Pair, comedietta, 1 act J- i 151. Hard Case (A), farce, 1 act. * 8. Henry Dunbar, drama, 4 acts ...... iu A 180. Henry the Fifth, hist, play, 5 acts. .38 5 303. Her Ouly Fault, comedietta, 1 act. . 2 2 19. He's a Lunatic, farce, 1 act 3 2 60. Hidden Hand, drama, 4 acts 5 5 191 . High C, comedietta, 1 act 3 3 246. High Life Below Stairs,farce.2 acts. 9 5 301. Hiuko, romantic drama, 6 acts 12 7 224. His Last Legs, farce, 2 acts 5 3 187. His Own Euemy, farce, 1 act 5 1 174! Home, comedy. 3 acts 4 3 211. Honesty is the Best Policy, play, 1. 2 64. Household Fairy, sketch, 1 act 1 1 190. Hunting the Slippers, farce, 1 act. . 4 1 197. Hunchback (The), play, 5 acts 13 2 225. Ici on Parle Fraucais, farce, 1 act.. 3 4 252. Idiot Witness, melodrama, 3 acts. . . 6 1 18. If I had a Thousand a Year., farce. If 3 116. I'm not Mesilf at all, Irish stew, la. 3 2 129. In for a Holiday, farce, 1 act 2 159. In the Wrong House, farce, 1 acr... 4 278. Irish Attorney (The), farce, 2 acts.. 8 282. Irish Broom Maker, farce. 1 act. . .. 9 273. Irishman in London, farce, 1 acts.. 6 243. Irish Lion (The), farce, 1 act 8 271. Irish Post (The), drama, 1 act 9 244. Irish Tutor (The), farce, 1 act 5 270. Irish Tiger (The), farce, 1 act 5 274. Irish Widow (The), farce, 2 acts 7 122. Isabella Orsini, drama, 4 acts 11 177. 1 Shall Invite the Major, comedy, 1 4 100. Jack Long, drama, 2 acts 9 299. Joan of Arc, hist, play, 5 acts 26 139. Joy is Dangerous, comedy, 2 acts. . 3 17. Kind to a Fault, comedy, 2 acts. ... 6 233. Kiss in the Dark (A), farce, 1 act.. . . 2 309. Ladies' Battle (The), comedy, 3 acts 7 86. Lady of Lyons, play, 5 acts 12 5 137. L' Article 47, drama, 3 acts 11 5 72. Lame Excuse, farce, 1 act 4 2 144. Lancashire Lass, melodrama.4 acts. 12 34. Larkins' Love Letters, farce. 1 act.. 3 189. Leap Year, musical duality, 1 act....l 253. Lend Me Five Shillings, farce, 1 act 5 111. Liar (The), comedy, 2 acts 7 119. Life Chase, drama, 5 acts . .*. 14 239. Limerick Boy (The), farce, 1 act 5 48. Little Annie's Birthday, farce, 1 act..2 32. Little Rebel, farce, 1 act 4 164. Little Ruby, drama, 3 acts 6 6 295. Little Em'ly, drama, 4 acts 8 8 165. Living Statue (The), farce, 1 act. ... 3 2 228. Loan of a Lover (The), vaudeville,!. 4 1 109. 85. 87. 143. 212. 291. 210. 163. 154. 63. 249. 208. 39. 7. 49. 15. 46. 51. 302. 184. 250. 312. 234. 108. 188. 169. 216. 236. 193. 267. 130. 92. 218. 140. 115. 2. 57. 104. 112. 298. 185. 84. 117. 171. 14. 300. 269. 268. 173. 227. 176. 254. 33; 3. 90. 170. 289. 97. 66. 209. 172. 94. 45. 155. 178. to t. Locked in, comedietta, 1 act 3 2 Locked in with a Lady, sketch 1 1 Locked Out, comic scene 1 1 Lodgers and Dodgers, farce, 1 act. . 4 2 London Assurance, comedy, 5 acts. 10 3 M. P., comedy, 4 acts 7 2 Mabel's Manoeuvre, interlude, 1 act 1 3 Marcoretti, drama, 3 acts 10 3 Maria and Magdalena, play, 4 acts.. 8 C Marriage at any Price, farce, 1 act. . 5 3 Marriage a Lottery, comedy, 2 acts. 3 4 Married Bachelors, comedietta, la.. 3 2 Master Jones' Birthday, farce, 1 act 4 2 Maud's Peril, drama, 4 acts 5 3 Midnight Watch, drama, 1 act 8 2 Milky White, drama, 2 acts 4 2 Miriam's Crime, drama, 3 acts 5 2 Model of a Wife, farce, 1 act 3 2 Model Pair (A), comedy, 1 act. ..... 2 2 Money, comedy, 5 acts 17 3 More Blunders than One, farce, la. 4 3 More Sinned against than Sinning, original Irish drama, 4 acts 11 Morning Call (A), comedietta, 1 act. 1 1 Mr. Scroggins, farce, 1 act 3 3 Mr. X., farce, 1 act 3 3 My Uncle's Suit, farce, 1 act 4 1 My Neighbor's Wife, farce, 1 act 3 3 My Turn Next, farce, 1 act 4 3 My Walking Photograph, musical duality, 1 act 1 1 My Wife's Bonnet, farce, 1 act 3 4 My Wife's Diary, farce, 1 act 3 1 My Wife's Out, farce, 1 act. 2 2 Naval Engagements, farce, 2 acts. . . 4 2 Never Reckon your Chickens, etc., «. farce. 1 act 3 4 New Men and Old Acres, comedy, 3 8 5 Nobody's Child, drama, 3 acts 18 3 Noemie, drama, 2 acts.. 4 4 No Name, drama, 5 acts 7 5 Not a bit Jealous, farce, 1 act 3 3 Not if I Know it, tarce, 1 act 4 4 Not so bad as we Seem, play, 5 acts.13 3 Not Guilty, drama, 4 acts 10 6 Not such a Fool as he Looks, drama, 3 acts 5 4 Nothing like Paste, farce, 1 act. ... 31 No Thoroughfare, drama, 5 acts .... 13 6 Notre Dame, drama, 3 acts 11 8 Object of Interest (An), farce, 1 act. 4 3 Obstinate Family (The), farce, 1 act. 3 3 Off the Stage, comedietta, 1 act 3 3 Omnibus (The), farce, 1 act . . 5 4 On Bread and Water, farce, 1 act. . . 1 2 One Too Many, farce, 1 act 4 2 One Too Many for Him, farce, 1 act 2 3 £100,000, comedy, 3 acts 8 4 Only a Halfpenny, farce, 1 act 2 2 Only Somebody, farce, 1 act 4 2 On the Jury, drama, 4 acts .5 5 Orange Blossoms, comedietta, 1 act 3 6 Orange Girl, drama, 4 acts 18 4 Othello, tragedy, 5 acts 16 2 Ours, comedy, 3 acts 6 3 Our Clerks, farce, 1 act 7 5 Our Domestics, comedy-farce, 2 acts 6 6 Our Heroes, military play, 5 acts. . . 24 5 Out at Sea, drama, 5 acts 17 5 DE WITT'S ACTING PLAYS -Continued. M. F. 147. Overland Route, comedy, 3 acts 11 5 305. Pair of Shoes (A), farce, 1 act ... 4 3 285. Partners for Life, comedy, 3 acts — 7 4 156. Peace at any Price, farce, 1 act 1 1 82. Peep o' Day, drama, 4 acts , . . 12 4 127. Teggy Green, farce, 1 act 3 10 23! Petticoat Parliament, extravaganza, lact 15 21 293. Philomel, romantic drama, 3 acts... 6 4 62. Photographic Fix, farce, 1 act 3 2 61. Plot and Passion, drama, 3 acts. ... 7 2 138. Poll and Partner Joe, burlesqe, la.. 10 3 217. Poo*- Pillicoddy, farce, 1 act 2 3 110. Poppletou's Predicaments, farce, la. 3 6 50. Porter's Knot, drama, 2 acts 8 2 59. Post Boy, drama. 2 acts 5 3 95. Pretty Horse-Breaker, farce 3 10 •280. Pretty Piece of Business (A), come- dy, 1 act 2 3 181. 182. Queen Mary, drama, 4 acts 37 9 196. Queerest Courtship (The), comic operetta, 1 act 1 1 255. Quiet Family, farce, 1 act 4 4 157. Quite at Home, comedietta, 1 act. . . 5 2 132. Race for a Dinner, farce, 1 act 10 237. Regular Fix (A), farce, 1 act 6 4 183. Richelieu , play, 5 acts 12 2 38. Rightful Heir, drama, 5 acts 10 2 77. Roll of the Drum, drama, 3 acts 8 4 316. Romeo on the Gridiron (A), mono- logue, for a lady 1 195. Rosemi Shell, burlesque, 4 scenes.. 6 3 247. Rough Diamond (The), farce, 1 act. 6 3 194. Rum, drama, 3 acts 7 4 13. Ruy Bias, drama, 4 acts 12 4 229. Sarah's Young Man, farce, 1 act 3 3 158. School, comedy, 4 acts 6 C 201. School for Scandal, comedy, 5 acts.. 13 4 264. Scrap of Paper (A), comic drama, 3a. 6 6 79. Sheep in Wolf's Clothing, drama, la 7 5 203. She Stoops to Conquer, comedy, 5a.l5 4 37. Silent Protector, farce. 1 act , 3 2 35. Silent Woman, farce, 1 act 2 1 313. Single Married Man (A), comic ope- retta, 1 act 6 2 43. Sisterly Service, comedietta, 1 act. . 7 2 6. Six Months Ago, comedietta, 1 act.. 2 1 221. Slasher and Crasher, farce. 1 act. . . 5 2 10. Snapping Turtles, duologue, 1 act. . .1 1 26. Society, comedy, 3 acts 16 5 207. Sold Again, comic operetta, 1 act. . . 3 1 304. Sparking, comedietta., 1 act 1 2 78. Special Performances, farce, 1 act. . 7 3 215. Still Waters Run Deep, comedy, 3a. 9 2 256. Sweethearts, dramatic contrast, 2a.. 2 2 232. Tail (Tale) of a Shark, musical mon- ologue, 1 scene 1 31. Taming a Tiger, farce, 1 act 3 150. Tell-Tale Heart, comedietta, 1 act. . 1 2 120. Tempest in a Teapot, comedy, 1 act 2 1 M. I 257. Ten Nights in a Bar Room, drama, 5 acts 8 V 146. There's no Smoke without Fire, cuinedietta, 1 act 1 2 83. Thrice Married, personation piece, 1 act 6 1 215. Thumping Legacy (A), 1 act 7 1 251. Ticket of Leave Man, drama, 4 acts. 9 3 42. Time and the Hour, drama, 3 acts. 7 3 27. Time and Tide, drama, 4 acts 7 5 133. Timothy to the Rescue, farce, 1 act 4 2 15^. 'Tis Better to Live than to Die, farce, 1 act 2 1 134. Tompkins tho Troubadour, iarce, 1. 3 2 272. Toodles (The), drama, 2 acts 10 2 235 To Oblige Benson, comedietta, 1 act 3 2 238 Trying It On, farce, 1 act 3 3 29 Turning the Tables, farce, 1 act.. . . 5 3 214. Turn Him Out, farce. 1 act 3 2 1GB. Tweedie's Rights, comedy, 2 acts. . 4 2 126. Twice Killed, farce, 1 act 6 3 234. 'Twixt Axe and Crown, play, 5 acts.24 13 198. Twin Sisters, comic operetta. 1 act. 2 2 265. Two Bonnycastles, farce, 1 act 3 3 220. Two Buzzards (The), farce, 1 act. ... 3 2 56. Two Gay Deceivers, face, 1 act 3 123. Two Poits, farce, 1 act 4 4 288. Two Roses (The), comedy, 3 acts. ..74 292. Two Thorns (The), comedy, 4 acts.. 9 4 294. Uncle Dick's Darling, drama, 3 acts 6 5 162. Uncle's Will, comedietta, 1 act 2 1 106. Up for the Cattle Show, farce, 1 act 6 2 81. Vandyke Brown, farce, 1 act 3 3 317. Veteran of 1812 (The), romantic mil- itary drama, 5 act s 12 2 124. Volunteer Review, farce, 1 act 6 6 91. Walpole, comedy in rhyme 7 2 118. Wanted, a Young Lady, farce, 1 act. 2 1 231. Wanted, One Thousand Spirited Young Milliners for the Gold Re- gions, farce, 1 act 3 7 44. War to to the Knife, comedy, 3 acts 5 4 311. What Tears can do, comedietta, la.. 3 2 105. Which of the Two? comedietta, la.. 2 10 266. Who Killed Cock Robin? farce, 2a.. 2 2 98. Who is Who ? farce 3 2 12. Widow Hunt, comedy, 3 acts 4 4 213. Widow (The), comedy, 3 acts 7 6 5. William Tell with a Vengeance, bur- lesque 8 2 f Window Curtain, monologue 1 314, ) Circumstantial Evidence " 1 136. Woman in Red, drama, 4 acts 6 8 161. Woman's Vows and Masons' Oaths, drama, 4 acts 1° * 11. Woodcock's Little Game, farce. 2a.. 4 4 290*. Wrong Man in the Right Place (A), farce, 1 act 2 3 54. Young Collegian, farce, 1 act 3 2 A COMPLETE DESCRIPTIVE CATALOGUE OF DE WITT'S ACT- * S ING PLAYS AND DE WITT'S ETHIOPIAN AND COMIC DRAMAS, containing Plot, Costume, Scenery, Time of Representation, and all other informa- tion, mailed free and post paid on application. Address BE WITT, 33 Rose Street, New YorR. DE WITT'S DRAWING-ROOM OPERETTAS, B^= TO MUSICAL AMATEURS, ^g The number of Musical Amateurs, both ladies and gentlemen, is not only very large, but is constantly increasing, and very naturally, for there is no more re- fined and pleasant mode of spending leisure hours than in singing and playing the choice productions of the best Composers. Hitherto there has been an almost total {iclc of suitable pieces adapted to an evening's entertainment in Parlors by Amateurs.