Class-E5- 3.55.3 Imprint Book.El.'l.l.SLS Title LYRICS Grave. Gay and Otherwise. IRobcrt Brnst JScrlct Cbicago. r AUTHOR'S NOTE The following- lyrical poems are the maiden efforts of the author. A number of them have been set to music and are musical numbers of his comic operas, ''The Country Squire" and 'Xizette" or "The Battle of Leipsic." Criticism invited. Composers desiring- to write music to these or other song- poems of the author are re- spectfully solicted to correspond. (2) LYRICS Grave, Gay and Otherwise m TRobcct Brnst Bcrlet abicago f n I -> I wo Copies Kecdivud I JAN 8 1:^08 J COPY 6. Copyright 1907 By ROBERT E. BERLET (4) ®o fly Mati^n. (5) CONTENTS Almost Anything- is Permiesible on the Stag-e . 37 Bess and Jess 28 Choosing 12 Here is to Fair Woman 11 I' m Longing" for You .... 12 If you Care for Me 15 I Miss You Most of All 32 I Never Told You That 41 I Trust the Day will Never Come .... 42 Just A Bit of Nonsense . . . . . 21 Just Like You . . . . . .35 Jim 37 Just A Dear Sweet Girl . . . . . 39 Katy-Doo and Katy- Did .... 14 Lullaby 9 Lizette or the Battle of Liepzic (Opening Chorus) 23 My Rhyming Dictionary 13 My Dear Lizette . . 17 My Little Girl in Brown 22 Most Methodical Man 25 Nurse Girls on Parade ...... 9 Nothing Doing 40 Oh, Happy Summer Days 17 (7) CONTKNTS. Once I Knew a Bar Maid 18 Over the Mountains 39 Round and Round the Old Oak Tree ... 19 Recipe for a Comic Opera 18 Sweet Genevieve 19 Say What's the Use? Does it Pay? . . 40 Sally Lee 41 To Noble Thoug-ht Thou Dost Inspire . . 11 The Country Squire 20 True Love is Reconciling 24 There is no Time Like Childhood .... 24 True Love is the only Love 29 'Twas at a Summer Resort 30 Trimphant from War the Soldiers are Returning- . 34 The Mermaid and the Mariner .... 43 Vacation Days ..... 15 Wishes 26 What do the Rippling Waters Say . . . .27 We are Two Roaming- Rhymers .... 33 We've Heard That Before 38 You Never Can Tell 10 You Don't Have to Wear any Glad Rags . . 36 LYRICS GRAVE, OAT AND OTHERWISE. I.UIXABY. The sun in the West, slowing- is sinking-, Softly the shadows fall. One by one, the stars come forth a twinkling-, Silence reig-ns over all. Slumber on, while I am sweetly sing-ing. Nestle your drowsy head. Sweet dreams, sleep to j^ou will soon be bring-ing-. In your little trundle bed. Refrain: Lullabj^ lullaby. Sleep, dear baby, sleep. Lullaby, lullabj^ Watch o'er you I'll keep. Close your eyes of tender blue. Loved one's alwaj^s nig^h. There is none to us, so dear and sweet Lullaby, lullaby. (as you, ^^^^^^^^ THE NURSE GIRLS ON PARADE. After school, and at the close of day, One by one, we slowly wend our way, Down the villag-e street. Babe in arins, or tugging- at our skirt. Stopping- now, and then perhaps to flirt With the beaus we meet. Listening- to their proinises absurd, Telling tales of what they may have heard Of some other maid. Modesty forbids that we should tell. There are none, really liked as well. As the nurse girls on parade. Refrain: Hush a bye, little one, don't you cry, You'll be a soldier boy, bye and bye. Go to sleep, don't you peep, you need not be afraid. For we all expect, the soldiers will protect. The Nurse Girls on parade. 10 LYRICS: GRAVE, GAY AND OTHERWISE. YOU NEVKR CAN TELL. He: Ever since the world beg-an, And the earth round its axis revolved. There is one little question No mortal man, has ever, ever solved. Old Adam first tackled it, And we all know what to him befell, What a woman really, really wants, One never, never can tell. Refrain: You can never tell what a woman will do. You can neVer tell whether she cares for you. She may say with a sig-h, No, yes, no, that is, well. Now, what a woman really, really, wants,. You never, never, can tell. She: Ever since the days of Eve, When our earthly troubles first began. No woman has yet been born. Who can explain the doing-s of man, man, Dear old Eve first tackled it, (man. And we all know what to her befell. For what a man really, really means, One never, never can tell. Refrain: You never can tell what a fellow will do. You never can tell whether he cares for you. He may say with a smile. Oh, dear, I love you, well — But what a man really, really means, You never, never, can tell. LYRICS: GRAVE, GAY AND OTHERWISE. 11 HKRK IS TO FAIR WOMAN. Here is to fair woman, Fair as a flower, Dear to the hearts of men. Whatever the hour. There is not one of them, Young-, old, short or tall. That is not loved by man. For he loves them all. Here's to the g-irl with auburn hair. Here's to the one with dimpled cheeks. Here's to the maid whose face is fair. Here's to the miss who g-ently speaks. Here's to the girl who's good and true, With eyes that seem divine. Here's to the g-irl, the only one. That sweetheart girl of mine. TO NOBLE THOUGHT THOU DOST INSPIRE. It is not thy grace or beauty, It is not thy golden hair, It is not thy face so pretty, Such charm none can compare. It is not thy manners pleasing, Which I doth most admire. For your love so pure and simple, Is all that I desire. Chorus: To noble thought thou dost inspire. To works of love and beauty. For you I'll strive for ideals higher, For honor, truth and dut3^ I love you for your virtues rare, I know 3^our heart is true. With you m3^ life I'll gladly share, To be inspired by you. 12 LYRICS: GRAVE, GAT AND OTHERWISE. CHOOSING. She: Who would you choose, if j^ou could, To be your loving- wife? Who would you choose, if you would, As partner for all life? He: Could I but choose, if she would, I would not hesitate. To ask you, dear, if you would. To be my loving- mate. Refrain: She: You're very, very nice to me, I really must confess. I know not what to say to thee, To answer no or yes. Now just a minute, let me think. What will I say or do? No — yes — no — yes, I really think, That I, that Fd — choose you. I'M LONGING FOR YOU. At nig-ht, alone, I think of you. And wish that you were nig-h. My thoughts bring- back to me anew, The happy days g-one bye. Once more I see your loving- face. So tender, kind and true. For none can ever take your place, I sig-h and long for you. REFRAIN: For I'm so very lonesome, I long- for your return. I can not be without you. And for your love I 5^earn. Won't you come back to-morrow, Oh dearest love, please do. For I'm lonesome, awfuUj^ lonesome, And I' m long^ing^ for you. LYRICS: OR AVE, GAY AND OTHERWISE. 13 MY RHYMING DICTIONARY. Homer, Virg-il, Ovid, are poets I have read; Also Chaucer, Shakespeare, and others long- since I've tackled Ipics, Ij^rics and comedy divine, (dead. And dissected lines drainatic and other verses fine. To g-et the knack poetic, I burned the midnig-ht oil, And my poems pathetic, caused me much mental toil. But now, oh Joy, I do emploj^ A rhyming^ dictionar}. Refrain: A rhyming- dictionary, A book quite necessar}, In ancient daj^s to rhyme a line, The bards would work from twelve to nine. Thej'^'d cuss and swear and tear their hair, And oft g"ive up in sheer despair, For that was customarj^ They had no dictionary. My rhj'-ming dictionary, a verj^ handy thing-, (business) From its vocabular}', many a song^ I sing-. It gives me bread and when I'm dead, And in some cemeter3\ IvCt it be said, I always read, yiy rhyming dictionar3\ Chokus: It gives him bread and when he's dead. And in some cemetery. Let it be said, he always read, His rhyming- dictionar}'. Holmes, Longfellow, Lowell, who lived not long- ag-o. And Whittier and Whitman, their poems all I know. I've tackled love vsong-s, satire and society verse, And dissected poems lymphatic and verses very terse. To g-et the knack poetic, I burned the midnight oil; And my poems pathetic, caused ine much mental toil. But now, oh Joy, I do employ, A rhj-ming dictionary. 14 LYRIC 8: GRAVE, GAY AND OTHERWISE. Refrain: A rhyming- dictionary, A book quite necessary. In modern days to rhyme a line, The poets g-et up at half past nine, And in this book, they take a look, And then, ere long-, they sings a song-, For it' s now customary. To use a dictionary. My rhyming dictionary, a very handy thing-, From its vocabular}'-, many a song- I sing-. It g-ives me bread and when I'm dead, And in some cemetery, Let it be said, I always read. My rhyming dictionary. , Chorus: It g-ives him bread and when he's dead, etc. ♦♦♦♦♦♦♦^ KATY-DOO AND KATY-DID. A Katy-doo and a Katy-did On a quiet summer's night. Had a serious lover's quarrel, About some fancied slig-ht. Katy-doo heard that Katy-did Loved another Katy-doo. Katy-did told Katy-doo, That the story wasn't true; But Katy-did claimed he had heard From one who surely knew. That Katy-did loved another more. Than she loved Katy-doo. Katy-did said Katj^-didn't, But loved but Katy-doo, Now every nig-ht j^ou may hear The quarreling- of the two. Katy-did, katy-did' nt; katy-did, katy-didn't; (but she could. Katy-did, katy-didn't,, katy-did, katy-didn't; (but she would. /.nil OS: (UlAVK, CAY AND Ot'HKRWlSK. IF YOU CARE FOR MF:. Let not 3'Oiir lips lig-htly speak of love, And vow you ever true will be. Swear not bj' all the stars above, That 3'ou love me and only me. Unless you mean all that 3^ou vow, And will to me e'er faithful be, No false words would j^ou utter now, If you, if 3'ou, care for me. EFRAIN: If you care for me. If you care for me. No idle promises will you make, No vows eternal will you break, But love me for mj^ own dear sake. If 3'Ou care for me If 5 ou care for me. Do not bestow one fond caress, And speak of eternal bliss And while my hand j^ou g-entlj- press, Give not a sing-le loving- kiss. Unless you mean all that j^ou vow, And will to me e'er faithful be, No false words would 3'Ou utter now, If you, if 3'Ou, care for me. •{• (J* *J* (^ t^ »^ cj* *{• VACATION DAYS. In sunnner time when it .Cfets hot. We ^o in search of some cool spot, A pleasure trip we decide to take, In the country or across the lake. We take alone: 8ome hard-earned cash, And with it try to cut a dash. After a week or so, we homeward [xo, Having learned a few thinufs we oug^ht to know. 16 LYRICS: GRAVE, GAT AND OTHERWISE. That many things thej' advertised, Were not like what we had surmised. Your saving's quickly dissapear, For they g-et you but once a year. To take it all they think' s no crime^ Their harvest is your vacation time. Chorus: Vacation days, vacation days, We spend in many foolish ways, Vacation days, vacation days, That's ''haytime" for the country jays. At night mosquitoes for you lays, At day you're tanned by hot sun rays, In many ways, the country jays. Get your coin in vacation days. The town you leave on some warm nig-ht. Next morn before the sun shines brig-ht, At early hour you fishing- go. And cast your line thus to and fro. Expecting- you will catch big- fish. For this has been your summer's wish. After two hours or so, you homeward g-o. Having learned a few things you oug-ht to know, That many things they advertised, Were not like what you had surmised. The fish that in their "Ads" appear, They will explain were caug-ht last year. To tell such lies, they think' s no crime. Especially in vacation time. CHORUS: Vacation days, vacation days, etc. LYRICS: GRAVE, GAY AND OTHERWISE. 17 MY DKAR LIZKTTK. Ever 8ince I first met, M}' own dear 'Lizette, Strang-e sensations I feel near my heart. When ever she is near. O'er me comes a fear, That I've been struck by cupid's dart. For my heart has been stung-, By this maiden young-, With a love that I can not forget. There's none that can compare, With this maiden fair, For there's none just like my own Lizette. Refrain: Her smile is like the sunshine. Her eyes with love light glow. Her cheeks are always blushing-, She's the dearest girl I know. Her lips are sweet as cherries. Her face you'll ne'er forget. For there's no other in this town, As my dear, dear Lizette. OH, HAPPY SUMMER DAYS. We come to rest. Among the flowers and trees, Away from work, To spend our time in ease. The birds they sing. Their sweetest melodies. The wind it blows, Its cooling- gentle breeze. The world it seems, So happy free and gay. How beautiful is this summer day. The world it seems. So happy free and gay, How beautiful, is this summer day. 18 LYRIC 8: GRAVE, GAT AND OTHERWISE. Chorus: Of happy summer time in chorus let us sing", Along- the hill and dale, let our song in echo ring. The many merry hours, we spend in joy and glee, We shall ever cherish in sweetest memory. Of happy summer time, we sing in glad refrain. It is our fond desire, that it come oft again. ONCE I KNEW A BAR MAID. Once I knew a bar maid, Who worked at a village inn, Such charm and ways this maid displayed That all men sought her to win. With drooping" eyes, And manners shy. She really looked demure. Men would not dare, At her stare. She seemed too good and pure. But I soon learned To my surprise. This little quite maid, Would look demure, And used her eyes. To help build up the trade. Refrain: Eloise, was the maiden's name, A pretty name I'm sure. And with her coyish, teasing game. Much trade she did secure. On bended knees men vowed their love, And sought her hand to squeeze. But none could win this working girl, This teasing Eloise. LYRICS: GRAVE, GAY AND OTHERWISE. 19 SWEET GENEVIEVE. Come to the g"ate with me, sweetheart. Come to the g^ate with me. The hour has come that I must depart, And say g-ood-nig-ht to thee. The gentle breeze sighs in the trees, All Nature seems asleep, I trust the Power that all things sees, Watch o'er my love will keep. Refrain: Genevieve, dear Genevieve, I love you, I love you, Genevieve, dear Genevieve, Once more a fond adieu. Once more your hand in mine I hold, One kiss before I leave. Believe of me the story old, Good night, sweet Genevieve. The love light in your eyes to-night, Give me much happiness, As by the gleam of the pale moonlight, You to my heart I press. It seems as though the stars above, Beam in your eyes, of blue. And that their rays shine forth a love, Which tells me you are true. ROUND AND ROUND THE OLD OAK TREE, Books and slates are put away, We have learned enough to-day, Let us dance and sing and play In a ver>^ joyous waj-. Laughing, shouting as we meet With sweet smiles each other greet. Dancing nimblj^ merrily, Round and round the old oak tree. 20 LTRIGd: GRAVE, GAY AND OTHERWISE. Chorus: Hear the church bells sweetlj^ ring-, Ding- dong-, ding" dong-, Let us dance and g-ayly sing-, Ding dong-, ding- dong-. Let each one a partner take, While we all a circle make. Lig-htly tripping- 'round in two's Quickly to other partners choose. Laug-hing-, shouting- as we meet. With sweet smiles each other g-reet. Dancing- nimbly, merrily. Round and round the old oak tree La La La La La La La Round and round the old oak tree. CHORUS: Ding- dong-, ding- dong-, etc. ♦♦♦♦♦♦♦*> THE COUNTRY SQUIRK. I am Hi Stokes, the Country Squire, An how-do-do I don't require. For far and near and everywhere. They know me by my auburn hair. For every one does me admire, That's why I am the Country Squire. Chorus: For every one does him admire, That' s why he is the Country Squire, I am the Squire, the Countrj^ Squire. The laws of State I interpretate. My fees are larg-e with no rebate. Who pays me first will justice g-et, Most honest man you ever met. Such frankness sure j^ou must admire, That' s why I am the Country Squire. Chorus: Such frankness sure you must admire, That's why he is the Country Squire. I am the Squire, the Country Squire. LYRICS: GRAVE, GAT AND OTHERWISE. 21 For law reports I do not care, Nor do you need a brief prepare. For the Supreme Court to over-rule. A Justice need not g-o to school. Such wisdom sure you must admire, That's why I am the Countrj^ Squire. Chorus: Such wisdom sure you must admire, That's why he is the Country Squire. I am the Squire, the Country Squire. Noted for my integrity, Decisions sent you C. O. D. For wisdom and for dealing-s fair. There's none with me you can compare. Such thing-s we do, yes all admire, That's why I am the Countrj^ Squire. Chorus: Such thing-s, we do yes all admire. That's why he is the Countr3' Squire. I am the Squire, the Country Squire. •5* *♦* *5* *J* *«* *5* *5* *§* JUST A BIT OF NONSENSE. No one ever accused me. Of having- a voice. Chorus: 'Tis true, 'tis true, 'Tis true (bad falsetto) Between that and a screech. There isn't much choice. Chorus: 'Tis true 'tis true, 'Tis true (same business) But it is a fact, I reall3'' can act. The fool if 3^ou please, Chorus: Just see, just see, Just see. V 22 LYRIC 8: GRAVE, GAY AND OTHERWISE. ril have you to know, That I am the show, The main squeeze on the Program is Me, Chorus: Is he, is he. Refrain: Just a bit of nonsense. Is all that I can do. Just a bit of nonsense, Is now amusing- you. Should you feel discouraged, Perhaps a feeling blue, Just a bit of nonsense. Is just the thing for j^ou. MY LITTLE GIRL IN BROWN. Dame Fashion now and then decrees, The things that we shall wear. She often finds it hard to please. The whims of Lady Fair. I know a maid, a daint}^ miss, Who lives in this old town, No matter what the stjde ma^/ be, Who dresses all in brown. REFRAIN: A small fur hat, so trim and sweet, Bedecks her curly hair. A chic mink muff, with scarf as neat, This pretty maid does wear. Her dainty boot and hose to suit, Just match her stylish gown, There is no sweeter girl I know. Than my little girl in brown. LYRICS: GRAVE, OAT AND OTHERWISE. 23 IJZKTTK, OR THK BATTLE OF LKIPZIG. Opening Chorus: On this beautiful festive day, Let naug-ht but happiness hold sway. Leave care and sorrow far behind, Your daily troubles do not mind. On harvest days let mirth abound, And let us dance in merry round. Let hill and dale in laughter ring-, The time of j^ear in praises sing- — Sing- heig-h-e-hi-lo, Sing- heigh-e-hi-lo, With honest brew. We'll drink anew. To our dear Fatherland. Sing- heig-h-e-hi-lo. Sing- heigh-e-hi-lo. For truth and rig-ht. We stand unite, A true and fearless band. Let enemy come and storm our g-ates, For every one a soldier waits. We'll gladly g-ive our life and all, Our Fatherland, Our Fatherland, Must never, Must never. Must never fall. With shouldered arms we boldly go. To fight and crush the daring foe. We'll gladly give our life and all, Our Fatherland, Our Fatherland. Must never, Must never, Must never fall. 24 LYRICS: GRAVE, GAT AND OTHERWISE. TRUE LOVE IS RECONCILING. He: Should you by chance have a quarrel With one whom j^ou adore, Don't act as thoug-h you would make-up, But just g-o off to war. She: Now should you wish to test the love, Of some admiring- beau Don' t act as though you anxious were But flirt with with others—so. He: When you return you'll find that she Has missed 3^ou quite a bit. And her sweet smiles and loving e3^es, Tell plainly you are it. She: Though he may pout and angry seem. And 3^our sweet smiles may spurn. You may be sure that come what maj^, To you he will return. Refrain: For true love is reconciling-, Love quarrels are oft beguiling. Though we may quarrel as others do. We'll ever be sincere and true, For true love is reconciling. For true love is reconciling-, Love quarrels are oft beguiling, Though we may pout and act like this. And then make up with a kiss, kiss, kiss, For true love is reconciling-. THERE IS NO TIME LIKE CHILDHOOD. When I was five months old. As I've been often told, I used to cry, both day and nig-ht, Mamma would say, Now ain't he bright. When I was five months old. LYRICS: GRAVE, OAT AND OTHERWISE. 25 Chorus: There is no time like childhood, When life has just beg"un. The happy hours of childhood, Are full of joy and fun. The child ne'er thinks of sorrow, As happily it plays. Could they but last forever, Sweet childhood daj^s. When I was ten years old, As I've been often told, When pfirls I kissed Upon the sly They all would say. Now ain't he **fly". When I was ten years old. Chorus: There is no time like chilhhood days, etc. ♦♦♦♦♦♦** A MOST METHODICAL MAN. Imag-ine if you can, A methodical man. Of one whom I shall sing-. Who would sys-tem-a-tize With watch 'fore his eyes, Kv'ry darn blooming thing. There was method in his madness. There was method in his sadness. There was method in whatever he would do. There was method in his thinking, There was method in his drinking, He was chuck full of method through and For he was! (through Yes, he was! For he was! Yes, he was! A most methodical man, A most methodical man. 26 LYRICS: GRAVE, GAT AND OTHERWISE. Chorus: Be where he may, at nig-ht or day, He was Johnny on the spot. He'd be sure to stand, watch in hand, So that he'd forg-et it not. To eat, drink, walk, play, sing- or talk. He had a regular plan. Throughout the town, he won renown. As the most methodical man. WISHES. I wish I were a musikant, For that is something- great. For than I would not have to want, To g-et up until late. I wish I were a bachelor. That is my wish, indeed. I would not have to walk the floor. Nor crying baby feed. Refrain: To wish a wish is an easy thing", 'Tis hard a wish to get. Perhaps you wished to hear me sing-, And now that wish reg-ret. I wish a wish, a simple wish. So long- as I may live. The wish I wish is all I wish. Dame Fortune me will give. I wish I were a millionare, Now that is wishing- some. For U. S. Courts, I would not care, I'd put them on the bum. To wish a wish is an easy thing-, etc. LYRICS: GRAVE, GAY AJ^D OTHERWISE. 27 WHAT DO THE RIPPLING WATERS SAY. A maiden and her lover, Were strolling by the sea. They walked alonof in silence, In deepest reverie. They thoug-ht of happy moments, They'd spent since first they met. Of pleasant days that summer. Which thej' would ne'er forg-et. Vacation days were over, The time had come to part, In those brief months of summer, He tried to win her heart. To be his wife he asked her, On that bright summer day, With modesty she murmured. What do the waters say. Chorus: What do the rippling- waters say. As they ripple to and fro. What do the rippling waters mean, As they softlj' ebb and flow. Is your love as constant as the sea. Is what I would like to know. What do the rippling waters say. Do they murmur j^es or no. The lover told the maiden, He ever true would be, His love for her would always Be constant as the sea. If she would onlj^ consent. To be his loving wife. They ever would be happj , Throughout their wedded life. 28 LYRICS: GRAVE, GAY AND OTHERWISE. Give me your answer truly, He beg-g-ed with eag-erness. To hear that you reallj^ love me, Would g-ive me happiness. Their brief romance was ended, On that bright summer day, For loving-ly she answered, What do the waters say? Chorus: What do the rippling- waters say, As they ripple to and fro? What do the rippling" waters mean. As they softly ebb and flow? What do the rippling- waters sa}^? 'Tis verj^ hard to guess. What do the rippling- waters say? I think I will say j'^es. BESS AND JESS. You talk about your city g-irls, Who are so wise and witty. Or about the st3^1ish maids, Who dress so chic and prett5^ Most of this is make believe, It's paint and powder and dress, I prefer the simple country lass, Whose pretty name is Bess. REFRAIN: Bess, Bess, queen of gracefulness. Bess, Bess, oh, what happiness. Bess, Bess, could I but possess, Bess, Bess, to my heart I press, Yes, I must confess. That I love the little lass, Whose simple name is Bess. LYRICS: GRAVE, GAT AND OTHERWISE. 29 You talk about j'our clubs and thinj^s, You cit}' folks enjoj'. Or about the novel waj'S, Your idle lime employ. That most of this is folly, All g-ood men will confess, Far better are the country ways, Of a simple lad like Jess. Refrain: Jess, Jess, man of nobleness, Jess, Jess, oh what happiness, Jess, Jess, it is to possess, Jess, Jess, I will answer j^es, For I must confess, That I love the honest man, Whose simple name is Jess TRUE LOVE IS THE ONLY LOVE. There are many, many girls. That are verj^ fair and sweet, There are the little saucy girls, With ankles trim and neat. There are girls who act coquettish. There are those who will act shy, And yet when they have a chance. Will flirt with j^ou or I. Of all the girls that one may meet. There is only one for me. She is the little simple girl, Who ever true will be. Chorus: For true love is the only love, True as the stars that shine above, I love but one and that is you. To you my darling, I'll e'er be true. 30 LYRIC 8: GRAVE, GAY AND OTHERWISE. There are manj^ many men, That are g-ay and debonair, There are those awful jolly boys, Whose capital is hot air. There are men who are wise and great. There are others who are not. There are those who will exag-g-erate, About the wealth they^ ve g-ot. But of all the men that one may meet, There's only one for me. He is the good and honest man. Who ever true will be. Chorus: For true love is the only love, etc. ♦•^♦♦^♦^♦^♦♦^ 'TWAS AT A SUMMER RESORT. CHARLIE. By the sea, Twenty, three Maidens fair, Spy me there. Only boy. Oh, what joy! With each g-irl. Take a whirl. And a kiss. From each miss. Such a treat. Let's repeat. And that nig-ht. They invite Me to call. On them all. Which I do, Wouldn't you? FATHER. Rest you need, Chang-e of feed. The next day, You g"o 'way To a farm. Oh, such charm. Bed room small, Near a hall. Kitchen smell; Hot as - well, You can guess, Wretchedness. Mosquitoes Bite your nose. Bed bugs creep. While you sleep. Scanty fare. Meat quite rare. WILLIE. Mamma's pet, Gay coquette. Meet by chance, A romance. Hand he takes. Love he makes. Will she be. His birdie? She says yes, Happiness. Diamond rings, Other things. But next day. Without delay. Maiden fair. With brown hair, Goes away. Without delay, LYRICS: GRAVE, OAT AND OTHERWISE. 31 MoonshinesbrightChickene? Well, Starry nig-ht. Those \\\ey sell. I'm their beau Weak coffee, The whole show. Milk and tea. Can't say no For fresh fruit, Spend my doug-h. Substitute. All I got Breakfast food, Happ3^ lot, "Just as good." But next day, As for pie, Thej^re away. Oh, how cruel, Played a fool. It's no joke, I am broke. Very shy. In a week, Home you sneak Bill you pay, Then away. And that nigfht. She does write Billet-doux, Lines quite few. That she would. If she could, Be his wife. All through life. But she said I am wed. So forg-et, That we met. Good-bye, pet. Yours, Fleurette. Chorus: 'Twas at a summer resort, *Twas at a summer resort, CHARLIE. These maidens fair That spied me there. Gave me my share, Of real hot air, FATHER. No long-er farm, Has for me charm, For I g-ot my share. Of scanty fare. WTLTvTE. This gay coquette. Fleeced mamma's pet. Of diamond ring's. And other things, At a gay summer resort, At a bum summer resort, At a gay summer resort. 32 LYRIOS: GRAVE, GAY AND OTHERWISE. MERRY, MERRY MILK MAIDS. Over grassy fields and meadows, Throug-h shady woods and dells, The cows are driven homeward, Hear the music of the bells. At sunset we to milking- go. So happy, gay and free, When that is o' er, few chores we do, Then through with work are we. Hark, hear the cows come home. As they through wood and meadow roam. Hark, hear the bells, hear the bells. I MISS YOU MOST OF ALL. 'Twas on a cold and wintry day. Dark and dreary was the sky. That a young man from home went 'way, And his loved ones bade good-bye. One day his sweetheart heard from him, After waiting many years, And as she read these lines from "Ji^^" She could not restrain her tears. CHORU3: I miss my dear old mother, I miss all others too, I've learned there is no other, Can take the place of you. I miss the green old pastures. The nooks where shadows fall. But of all to me most dearest, I miss you most of all. Far from his home, he thought that he, Fame and fortune sure could win. But as years rolled by, it seemed to be, That success was not for him. One day another letter came, It was from his dying bed, His struggles all had been in vain, It was this his sweetheart read: LYRICS: GRAVE, OAY AND OTHERWISE, 33 WE ARK TWO ROAMING RHYMERS. Come list and we'll in song- unfold, A tale we're sure has ne'er been told, A tale of two old timers. A tale of two old timers. We spend our time to versify. And that is the reason why, We're called two roaming- rhymers, Thej^'re called two roaming rhymers. We talk in verse from morn till nig-ht. To versify is ovir delig-ht. We sing- in song- most everything-. They all are pleased to hear us sing-. Our lines in rhj^me are most sublime, We win j^our hearts, 3'es ever}' time. For all we know for such is fate, We may yet be poet laureate. For all thej^ know for such is fate, They may yet be poet laurette. CHORUS: We talk in rhyme, we walk in rhj'^me, To snore in rhyme, we think' s no crime. We eat in rhymes, we drink in rhyme, We express ourselves in thoughts subh'me. We lie in rhyme, we snooze in rhyme. We'll die in rhj^me at any time. We'll rhyme in rh3niie in any clime. We'll shut up if j^ou g-ive us a dime. That there's much worse, we'll not deny, Such verse as ours will make you cry. And this is why you understand. Our verses are in great demand. Excuse us now, we'll have to g-o, To write some verse for a comic show. For all we know for such is fate, We may 3'^et be poet laureate. Chorus: We talk in rhyme, we walk in rhyme, etc. LOFC 34 L7RI08: GRAVE, OAT AND OTHERWISE. TRIUMPHANT FROM WAR THE SOLDIERS ARE RETURNING. Hear the bugle sound, Hear the beating- drum. Hear the tramping feet, Hear the heroes come. Let the banners fly, Let the streets be gay, Sing your praises high, Let sweet joy hold sway. Here our heroes come. Triumphant, from war, Our soldiers are returning. Napoleon, no more. For conquest will be j^earning. Then shout with glee, For victory, Has been our soldiers lot. They bravely fell, Midst shot and shell, And fear they showeth not. Triumphant from war. Your soldiers are returning. Napoleon, no more, For conquest will be yearning. No roaring cannon. Or piercing shot. Could stop our valiant fire. With clashing sabers. In battle hot. We forced them to retire. Victorious and glorious, A brave and fearless band. Victorious and glorious. Long live our Fatherland. LYRICS: GRAVE, GAY AND OTHERWISE. 35 JUST LIKE YOU. I have courted very many g"irl8, Since I was first so inclined. Many I have met at social whirls, And with others I have dined. But the g-irls I met both young- and old, And some very pretty, too, There was none that won my bachelor heart. For none were just like you. REFRAIN: None I met in this wide, wide world, Just like you, just like you. None won my heart, none seemed to be. So g-ood and true, good and true. Where ever I may g-o, I'll never learn to know, A dainty, pretty little girl like you, Just like you. ♦♦♦^•♦♦♦^ IT'S UP TO YOU. Comedian: A slow boy asked a waiting maid Will you be my bride? Of spinsterhood she was afraid, So quickly she replied: It's up to you. It's up to j^ou. Widow: Neighbor Schmidt called the verj' daj^ That my poor husband died. When he asked, now, what shall you do? This is what I sighed: It' 8 up to you. It' 8 up to you. Tailor: A gay soubrette a nice dear boy In her toils ensnared. When he implored, please let me g-o, This is what she declared: It's up to you. It's up to you. 36 L7RI0B: GRAVE, GAT AND OTHERWISE. COMEDIAN. WIDOW. TAILOR. It' s up to you, It' s up to you, If s up to you, It' s up to 3'ou. It' s up to you. It' s up to you. Place do not go, I'm sad you know I must say no You've been so slow. Please do not g-o. Can't let you g-o. After all these years Just say the word For as you know, I won't say no. I won't say no. I need the doug-h, And now (spoken) And now (spoken) And now (spoken) It' 8 up to you. It' s up to you. It' s up to you. YOU DONT HAVE TO WEAR ANY GLAD RAGS, TO BE ALL THE WORLD TO ME. Say Liz, just let me whisper. Sweet nothing's in your ear. Let me tell you for fair. That I am on the square, And I really love you dear. Others may josh you, Lizzie. And fill you with hot air. Thoug-h yoxiT parents are poor, I love you, I am sure With you none can compare. Refrain: For you don't have to wear any g^lad rag-s. To be all the world to me. For I do not care. As to what you wear So long- you true will be. So g"ive me j^our hand, And lets understand, True pals we e'er will be. For 5''Ou don't have to wear anj^ g"lad rag's. To be all the world to me. LYRICS: GRAVE, GAT AND OTHERWISE. ALMOST ANYTHING IS PERMISSIBLK ON THK STAGE. Upon the stage, it's all the rag-e, Another's art to dispara^-e. Each bloomin' skate, won't hesitate, A real actor to imitate. Or country jay, in half-baked wa}', A foolish skit will try to play. For in this ajj^e, it' s all the rag-e. To permit most anything on the etag-e. Chorus: Yes, almost anything- is permissible on the stag-e, And that which is often rotten, is sometimes quite So long- as we will stand for it, (the rag-e. The actors think they've made a hit, Should you find fault, they'll have a fit. But feathers. Almost anything- is permissible on the stage. Who has not seen the actorine. Who reallj" thinks she is a queen. And Miss Marie, of gay Paree, Who tries her best to sing- high G. There's the sister act; it's a fact. Their noise is like a cataract. For in this age, it's all the rage, To permit most anything- on the stag-e. Chours: Yes, almost anything-, etc. JIM. I have a boj', Lowell is his name, But for that, his father is to blame. Since he toddles 'round, I've called him "Jim", And I believe that name just fits him. For he's just a simple baby boy. Who all prankish tricks does enjoJ^ There's no other ever, just like him. He is just the candy. I mean "]im'* Refrain: Say Jim, Jim, oh come and play with me. You can be the driver and the hornie I will be. Now look! Isn't he the Dickens; just look at him. Gee, I'm as proud as can be, for he's my Jim, 38 L7BI08: GRATE, GAY AND OTHEBWISE. WE'VK HKARD THAT BEFORE. I'll sing- a song- of nuisances, Of men we all abhor, Who persistenly repeat the things, We all have heard before. Now there is the nuisance, who, Will repeat some ancient gag, Who wants to be known 'round the town. As a wise and witty wag. Then there is the long-haired chap. Who will read a silly poem; The father who will talk of The bright kid he has at home. And the liar who boasts, Of fish that got away. To all these repeating nuisances. This we ought to say: Chorus: We've heard that before, repeat it no more, It's merely a waste of breath. To reiterate a thing antiquate. Is working a thing to death. So say something new, it need not be true, To you we kindly implore, Forever refrain and say not again. The thing we have heard before. Then there's the man who whispers, Let me have ten, I'm broke. And the low comedian with His oft repeated joke. Then there's the prima donna nuisance, And her last farewell tour. And the comic opera writers. Each year we must endure. The late returning husband. Who promises to be good; LYRICS: GRAVE, OAT AND OTHERWISE. 39 The artist with his picture, Of the tramp and sawing wood. And that ancient chestnut, Is it hot enoug-h to-day. To all these repeating- nuisances, This we ought to say: Chorus: We've heard that before, etc. ♦♦♦♦♦♦♦•J* JUST A DEAR SWKET GIRL. There is no joy as to waltze with you, At a fancy ball. Hai^py am I as I dance with you. Gliding through the hall. The music sweet entrances me, As round and round we whirl, At such a time, I want but one, Just a dear sweet girl. Refrain: Just a dear sweet girl, Just a dear sweet girl. Happy am I as I waltze with you. To the sweet tune of the Danube Blue. With your hand in mine. To the music divine, There's nothing more entrancing Than to whirl in waltze time, with Just a dear sweet girl. OVER THE MOUNTAINS. (Entrance Song) Over the mountain. In the vallej^ below, Down by the hillside, Where sweet flowers grow. There lives a maiden. Whom I'm yearning to see. Soon to my dear love, I'll be returning to thee. 40 LTRIOS: GRAVE, GAY AND OTHERWISE. SAY, WHAT'S THE USE? DOES IT PAY. To work from morn till late at nig-ht, We scrape and save with all our mig-ht, And to all we g-et we hold tig-ht. Say, what' s the use? Does it pay? Our pelf we g^et by g"raf t and stealth, We sacrifice our very health. So when we die, we'll leave some wealth. Say, what's the use? Does it pay? We can't resist to lie and cheat. And every one we try to beat. To leave behind a sum quite neat. Sa}^ what's the use? Does it pay? For the Golden Rule no one cares, We dope and fake our g-oods and wares; Then leave it all to worthless heirs. Say, what's the use? Does it pay? We brag- and brife and g-o to court. And to all dirtj^ tricks resort. Just to appear in Dun's report. Say, what's the use? Does it pay? The wealth we thus acquire and take. At death we can not with us take. We wonder why and for whose sake. Say, what's the use? Does it pay? tj« •J* ♦j»«5» •J* «5» *j» ♦J* NOTHING DOING. Jasper Jackson of Iowa, Blew into town; 'twas yesterday. In front of the Fair, on State street, A bunco man he happened to meet. Who said he'd sell, Jasp. then and there, A half an interest in the Fair. The bunco man said that he'd take. Just two thousand plunks, for friendship's sake. LYRICS: GRAVE, GAT AND OTHERWISE. 41 But Jasper was no silly g-uy, And told the man he wouldn't buy. But simply shook his be-whiskered head, And this is what old Jasper said: Nothing- doing-, nothing- doing-, That is a poor investment for me. So skiddoo, 22, twenty-three. Nothing doing-, nothing- doing-, By jimminy crack,! think I'll take The next train back. It's skiddoo for me. SALLY LEE. I'm feelin' kinda lazy; Must be something- wrong-. All day long- I'm whistlin'. Or singing- some love song-. I' m no earthly good at working-, What can the matter be? It must be 'cause I'm loveing-, A lovin' Sally Lee. CHORUS: Oh Sally Lee, Sally Lee, Won't you tell me, tell me, That you'll marry, marry, me. Say the word and I'll g-o to work. Get a job as a g-rocery clerk. Sally Lee, Sally Lee, tell me, Tell me, that you'll marry me. I NEVER TOLD YOU THAT. She: Before I married you, my dear, I know the truth will hurt. By all, I was known, far and near. As a deceptive flirt. And oft while you were courting: me. In other laps I sat. Perhaps this is sad news to you, For I never told you that. 42 L7BI08: GRAVE, OAT AND OTHBBWISE. He: One nig^ht, since we've been married dear, (This is a whooping- lie. ) I came home full of wine and beer, A sight I was, oh my! My clothes were torn, I looked forlorn, I was without a hat. Perhaps this is bad news to you, For I never told you that. Refrain: There are thing-s we quite discreetly, Oft do upon the sly. And in a manner neatly. The truth we oft deny. Don't look at me so angry. What are you laughing at? I really love you dearly. i I never told you that. I TRUST THE DAY WILL NEVER COME. Oft times I g-aze into your face, As stars shine from above. I then recall the time and place, That I won you, dear love. My thoughts go back those many years, Each one so dear to me, ' Tis then my heart grows faint with fears, "Will it thus ever be?" Refrain: I trust the day will never come, That we in anger part. I trust that you will ever be, My own true love, sweetheart. Let fortunes ill' s be what they may, There' s nothing that I fear. I know r 11 ever happy be, So long as you are near. LYRICS: GRAVE, GAY AND OTHERWISE. 43 THE MKRMAID AND THK MARINER. A mermaid loved a mariner, A sailor bold and free. For many 3'^ear8 he courted her, This maiden of the sea. The mermaid promised she would be, His true and loving- bride. And g^uide him o'er the boundless sea, And e'er be by his side. But one sad day the sailor lads, Sailed to his home away. He did not tell this maiden true. That he would g-o to stay. For years and 3'ears she hoped that he Would come to her again; And the sailor lads that sail that sea, Can hear this sad refrain. Chorus: Could I forg-et, That we had met, This parting would not cause these My love for j^ou, (tears. Was pure and true, And I looked forth to happy 3'^ears. If j^ou but knew, My love for you. Since the day you and I first met. Most bitter woe, To leave me so. Could I forget, could I forget. Could I forget, could I forget. That we had met, could I forg-et. 44 LTRIG8: GRAVE, OAT AND OTHERWISE. RECIPE FOR A COMIC OPERA. A pot of paste, a pair of shears, An almanac of by gone years, This is a g-ood beginning-. A few good jokes, some may be new, Some music sweet and rag-time too, Good songs for chorus singing. Some handsome boys with voices sweet, And pretty girls with ankles neat. To support the prima donna. A ruler and a chamberlain, The latter will the law explain, You' 11 find in every opera. Some ancient puns, a lot of rot, We quite forgot we had no plot, ^ But that' s not necessarj^ ^ The leading man, the comedian, I Will this explain, the best he can. For that is customary. Sprinkle some nonsense here and there, Marches fine and simple air. As music for the orchestra. A few good songs interpolate, And then 'twill be quite up-to-date, And there' s your comic opera. Be sure before the opening night. Not to forget to copyright, It does seem rather funny, That people who have got good sense. When they have read the press comments, For such stuff will pay money. JMi 8 ISOt