THE GREAT AMERICAN SPECTACnLAR DRAMA. Gorgeous Serio-Comie SPECTACULAR DRAMA, I ^ >i> ^ ^ —ENTITLED — THE DEAL'S KINGDOM! Prologue, Five Acts and Several Grand Tableaux. By SIMON M. LANDIS, M. D. Author of the "The Social War of 1900; or, The Conspirators and Lovers." " Lessons in Search of Greatness ; or, Stepping Down the Ladder." "The Insane Lover ; or. Fate of the Libertine." "The Fiend ; or, Torturer of Inno- cence." "Mesmer, the Terror of the Rich," &c. Tie Devil's Kinidoi is in 1m Wm\ The Drawing Room Edition is intended for the "Road," and requires only four Performers, Two Ladies and Two Gentle- men for the full company, to portray eighteen characters. The CioRGEous Stage Edition requires an immense company and is more gorgeous and far grander than the Black Crook, or any other spectacular drama of modern date. Each act is complete in itself. PRINTED, but not PUBLISHED, By the Author, Dr. S. M. Landis, at his Medical Institution, 13 North Eleventh Street, Philadelphia, Pa. 1875. THE QREAT AMERICAN SPECTACULAR DRAMA, Gorgeous Serio-Comic SPECTACULAR DRAMA, ENTITLED — THE DEVIL'S EINGDOffl! Prologue, Five Acts and Several Grand Tableaux. By SIMON M. LANDIS, M. D. Author of the "The Social War of 1900; or, The Conspirators and Lovers." " Lessons in Search of Greatness ; or, Stepping Down the Ladder." "The Insane Lover; or. Fate of the Libertine." "The Fiend; or. Torturer of Inno- cence." "Mesmer, the Terror- of the Rich," &c. The DeTil's Kingdom is in Two Eiltions: The Drawing Room Edition is intended for the "Road," and requires only four Performers, Two Ladies and Two Gentle- men for the full company, to portray eighteen characters. The Gorgeous Stage Edition requires an im^mense company and is more gorgeous and far grander than the Black Crook, or any other spectacular drama of modern date. Each act is complete^ , in itself. 4 ,<"^ ■>^.-.. .,.<«»/ PRINTED, BUT NOT PUBLISHED, )Jy the Author, Dr. S. M. Landis, at his Medical Institution, 13 North Eleventh Street, Philadelphia, Pa, 1875- ,.i iiiii; 'i ■ > . i CHARACTERS AND COSTUMES. Age. 40. Mr. Preacher, bearded face. Modern dress. Devil, handsome. Red tights, horns and cape. 50. Dr. Philosopher, same as Mr. Preacher. 45. Dr. DrU(;opath, coarse features. Black suit, white cravat, 30. Rev. Mr. Sainty, no beard. Black, long straight frock coat, black pants, vest and white cravat. 40. Hon. Law Expounder, fierce face. Blue dress coat, brass buttons, tight pants, white \est and high hat. 50. Mr. Editor, fat fine face. Reckless modern black clothes. 60. Hon. Politician, red nose, portly and saucy. Fine broad- cloth shabby, modern style. 1 8. Mr. Young America, handsome face. Any fancy moder]i style, 17. Mr. Fop, feminine face. Velvet frock coat, highly colored vest, gray spotted pants, patent leather shoes and silk hat. 30. Mr. Blue Devil, gloomy, drunken, illiterate, and stupid. Plain fine gray suit. 40. Mr. Lucre Influence, proud face. Black stylish broad cloth suit. 50. Mr. Gaiety, pert, fierce, lively bloat. Ragged ihie clothes of fancy color. 24. Mrs. Superstition, healthy and l)eautiful mother and infant. Plain, neat modern dark dress. 18. Miss Fashionable, beautiful face. Modern fine fashionable gaudy outfit. 36. Miss Prudish, nasty fine, dissipated, red face and homely. Neat brown dress, 45. Mrs. Gossip, homely face. Gaudy modern dress. 65. Grand Ma Snooks, fat, bloated, ugly red face. Ragged dress. Four Leadiug Imps, / 1'utrid Aik, green dress aud smoky \viugs. Acrobats, gross, ugly ♦ ^"-tht Water, ' muddled wmg>. faces. Their uames ou i ^^^^^ *^ood, *' sausages, lobsters, hams, their wing.s. (, and pigs on wmgs. " ^ Artificial Light, " " smokyjOil lamps ou wings. Angels, Imps, Demons, Victims, and People ! SPECIAL NOTiCE.— The performers in this play, especially the imps, i>eraons and Victims, should all have soft shoes on, to enable them to move about without noise. The Leading Imps, Common Imps aud Demons shojild be dressed diflferently, making a great distinction in appearance. The Demons take entire charge of the Victims, and should have horrid looking faces, huge eyes, etc., whilst the Common Imp.s should be of various appear- ances, some young, — like bi)ys of ten, twelve and fifteen years, — some very old, some lame, others hump-backed, etc., yet each to look like an Imp. The Victims are the transformed performers, whose faces remain as when actors and actresses, but the Victim's dresses should be plain green suits, tightly fitting the bodies of either sex. Each Ballet Girl or Angel should have wings ; but the Aerial Angels, who descend, should have the largest wings, look the prettiest aud most etherealized. TMP96-0C7LAe KiUen.t! aoonnling to the act of Congrese, in ihe year 18"i autl 1S75, by SIMON M. LAXDIS, M. I), in the Ofticeof the Librarian of'Congress, at Wasliington, D. 0. THE DEVIL'S KINGDOM! PEOLOGUE. SCENE I. — Garden of Eden. Mk. Preacher, and entire Company, in neat modern attire. Angels in the clouds. SINGING. Mr. Preacher. — Friends, we have a delightful time! Here all is natural, beautiful and lovable! The great Creator has vouchsafed unto us, his innocent children, all the necessaries of life, and as long as we continue to obey His laws, we shall retain our pristine l:)eauty, health and genuine happiness ; but if we become violators of the laws of our natures, we shall fall from grace of body and soul ! Therefore, I exhort each one of you to remain true and faithful to our inheritance, when our souls shall forever sing intuitive praises to Him, who rejoices in the acts of the guileless, and who will not permit evil to come into our midst. Oh the contrary, if you should even doubt in your minds, that perpetual peace and joy should al)ide with us, you would instantly detect the abnormal spirit — The Evil one would present himself in our midst. [Several in the Company shout, tchilst pointing to one spot."] Company. — Behold, yonder Serpent ! \_All shudder-^ Mr. p. — Hearkenj unto me ! you who have first observed that tempter, have doubted in your inner souls, hence, have in^^ ted Satan to appear before your eyes in the shape of yonder Sei*- pent ! and permit me to say, that you are the cause of each one of our children beholding his demoniacal form! I therefore, pray you, shut your senses against this monster, who if he is not summarily cut down, will swallow you all up in victory. {Dolorous sounds without, with thunder and lightning. Enter Devil and Imps with a rush. Angels disappear. All the people fall upon their knees in pitiful and fearful terror. Deoil and Imps mit victorious, soul-harrowing sounds, fire and brimstone. Tableau.^ END OF PROUJGUE. 4 'V}u-. Df.vil's KrNc.DOM. ACT I. SCENE l.—Mi7'seri/ of Mrs. Superstition, nursin.r/ Jier In- fant. Angels surround her. The Demi and Imps enter. Mrs. Superstition. — [Angels surround her.} Oh! what a blessed thing it is to have a good husband and a charming baby, like you ; my exquisite cherub ! [She pets and fondles infant.} O, you are too beautiful, and so healthy, that I could eat you, you little angel ! [ Enter Devil. E.ut Angels. ] Devil. — There she is, as disgustingly natural, as a perfect rose ; and that infant is a facsimile of herself! I'll put some of my notions into her fickle head. {^Smells air.} Ah ! the air in this room is considerably impregnated with foul gases and imps ; [Enter four Leading Imps,'] and I'll add fuel to it, and create in the vitals of mother and infant, abnormal action — disease ! Ha ! ha! ha! [Imps laugh and tumble.} Mrs. S. — [In deep thought and solemn look.} Blessed baby, if you should take ill, what should I do ? Oh ! I should go wild ! You look changed ! [Raising hahy to her face. Imps touch baby.} You moan, great heavens, you are sick, and I am alone. Devil. — No, my charming Madam, you are not alone, while I am about ! [Imps very affectionate to Madam.} Please, most wise Madam, hearken unto the voice of comfort ! You possess a charmed life ; moreover, shall I remind you that infants require changes in their early days ? Yes, there is too much air, — draughts of cool air, — in this beautiful nursery, also too much sun light ! Jf;.^. S. — What a foolish creature I am to permit my darling to be exposed to the elements of air and light ! I will wrap you up warmly. [Im2)s assist her to bundle up baby. } So now, precious darling, you will be nice and warm ! Baby. — [Dnps jnncJi baby, it cries pitifully.} A-a-a-a. Devil. — [Rubbing his hands gleefully. Aside.} She takes ; the brat cries, not being able to bear such m-uffling, until I pepper and pickle it with my panaceas ! [Imps laugh and tumble about lively. } Ha ! ha ! ha ! I'll put another flea in her ear ! [ To her.} My dear Madam, your infant is sick and you had better send for Dr. Drugopath. [Imps wild icithjoy.} JHfys. S. — Indeed ! indeed ! my little angel is very sick and I must send for the doctor ! [Imps breathe upon baby and rub up Madam's back. } Nurse ! John ! George ! Do you hear me ? [Angered.} No one about— Devil. — Oh ! yes, sweet lady, I am always about, when such saints as yourself call. [Imps in diabolical reverence and glee. } Mrs. S. — Who are you ? and what can you do for me in my dis- tress? I want some one to go for the doctor immediately! Devil. — Of course, sweet saint, now don't get into a passion. [Imps pinch her and vex her.} I'll send some one quickly. Here comes YouHg America, who will serve you I know. [Aside. ] The Devil's Kingdom. c I'll vex her, until her blood l)oils, and her gall grows biuer and corrosive, when cramps and misery of infant and mother will follow. [Enter Mr. Young America. 7'wo Tmpx surround him.] [ To him.'] — Halloo ! my boy ; you are wanted, but let me put you on your guard ! Young America. — Of course. Sir, I am most assuredly your very humble servant — JDevil. — Certainly you are, but to business! Do you see that beautiful lady over yonder ! Y. A. — I do indeed! vShe is perfectly bewitching. Who is she, and what has she got in her arms ? Devil. — [Nudging him.] A brat of an infant — Y. xi. — An infant ! Bah ! is she married ? Devil. — That's nothing here nor there, now-a-days ; but if you have a fancy to gain her affections, I can arrange things for you speedily. Y. A. — The devil you can ! Devil. — Of course ; but you must do a little common work fnsl. r^. A. — Name it, Sir. Devil. — Go for Dr. Drugopath, and tell him to come with plenty of medicine; [Imps very anxious.] but Ijefore you go, tarry here until I say go; and whatever I .say or do, you must give assent by saying : Yes Sir, certainly, etc. Y. A. — I'll do it, sharp. Devil. — [Approaches Madam, who is meditating.] Madam, jiermit me to make you acquainted with Mr. Young America. [ To 7aw.] That's your name I believe ? [ With a nudge.] Y. A. — Ye-e-s Sir, that's it. [Aside.] But look here, old fellow, she is entirely too beautiful and modest to trifle — [Imps- tease him, hif rubbing up his back, etc.] Devil. — Shut up, [Indignantly.] or you'll miss your mark. Remember our covenant — Y. ^.— All right. [Aside.] Damn him. [Imps fly wildly.] Devil. — Good boy, go ahead, you are prospering. [ Y. A. is'very angry. Imps vex him.] You do pray eloquently, verily, if you had been going to our schools all your life, you could not have learned more eloquence than you have just exhibited. Y. A. — I wish I could choke the infernal fool — [Dnps kiugh.] Devil. — Ha! ha! ha! what are you thinking about ; standing so stupidly in the presence of this lady, whose infant is so very ill, and desires some one to go for Dr. Drugopath. Mrs. 8. — Yes, young man, I would ])e very thankful to you, if you would go for the doctor. Y. J..— Certainly, I fly — [Imps prevent him.] Devil— [Aside.] No you don't, just yet. [ To her.] Madam, this youth is a little queer in his head. [ To him.] Aren't you ? Y. A. — Yes sir. [Aside.] Curse him ! [Tmy>i pinch him.] Devil. — Good, my boy ! Ha ! ha ! ha ! 6 TiiK Dkvii/s Kr^^GDOM. Y. A. — Oh ! you accursed devil ! [Inipx tickle him.] Ihiril.—^ust so! T"st so, my l^oy. )''. .1. — T won't obey you any longer, you damn — [Tt/ips picU liin Judr.l Devil. — Go on, go on, you are progressing hugely, Y. A. — [Foariiinf/ with rar/e.] I'll go and drown myself — [IinpH pull him.'] Decil. — By all means do it, hut go for Dr. Drugopath first. Won't you ? Ha ! ha ! ha ! Biiby. — [Lnp.'t pinch baby, it cries.] A-a-a-a ! Mrs. S. — -Oh ! goodness, young man ! why do you stand there rul)bing your head like an idiot ! Don't you see that my baby is very sick ; and haven't you pi'omised me to go for the doctor ? Decil. — Yes, madam, but he is so smitten with your charms [ Imps fix her. ] that he can't leave you ! [ To him. ] Is this not so ? Y. A. — Yes sir. [Aside.] Hell and the devil, but I would like to -murder him. [Imps rumple his hair and stick him. loithpins.] Devil. — Of course, my sweet boy ! You are becoming an expert ! Y. A. — You are the most accursed nuisance that I ever met ! [Imps groan and pat him.] Devil. — Now, now my boy, you wrong me ! I am only teach- ing you what is genteel ; and if you be patient, while I work up the charms of our beautiful lady, with the sick babe ! [Imps laugh.] Ha! ha! ha! [Nudging him.] You may have your own way with her! Y. A. — [More indignant.] I would like to cut your throat and send you to hell ! [Imps jump and bounce him fiercely.] Devil. — Good for you ; that would be sending me to my own delightful, cozy home, where I roast such lively fellows as your- self, when they are played out in this saintly world. Sirs. S. — My heavens! will any one go for the doctor? [Now Imps fiy to her and pinch her, she is in a furious rage.] I'd give my life to get the doctor quickly. Devil. — Most certainly, my 0W7i dear madam, he shall fly; but why did you not ask me before, and promise yourself for such ser- vices. yirs. S. — What do you mean ? [Imps grin and tumble.] Devil. — I mean that Young America shall fly for the doctor. [ To the boy.] Boy come here ! [ To 1dm aside.] Go instantly for Dr. Drugopath, and tell him to come in 3 or 4 hoiu's; mind, 3 or 4 hours, no hurry. [Louder.] Fly, my faithful boy. Y. u4. — I'll fly ! [Aside.] The accursed hypocrite and infernal torturer. [Imps kick him. Exit Young America.] Devil. — Now, my own dear madam, he is gone to bring the doc- tor, who will soon cure your charming babe ! Mrs. 8. — Do you really think so ? [Imps rub her down smooth- Devd. — Certainly, I know so. [Aside.] There's nothing" the matter with the brat now, only a little foul air irritates it. ' [To her-] You have made a mistake when your infant was born ! The Devil's Kingdom. 7 Mrs- S. — Indeed ! How so ? Devil. — Because, you treated it as if it had l^een a coarse, rude monster ; infants that are to be prosperous and refined should be properly medicated from the first ! There's nothing like Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup for little babies! lAside.^ She takes. Mrs. S. — Oh ! goodness. [Sighs.'] I have always told my hus- band and doctor so, but tliey o1)jected to dosing — ^\^Imj)s are amusing tkemseloes. ] Devil. — Very absurd ; for what purpose were these things made, if not for use ? Why my own dear madam, there is a remedy for everything, Mrs. S. — Sir, probably so. [Imps vex her. Indigna/a.] Uut why do you call me your "own dear madam ;" I am not your madam ; much less your "own dear," I'd have you know. Devil. — Come, come, my own dear, you are mine ; fully mine, and made so by your own free, unsolicited profter ! Mi'S. S. — How dare you insult me thus, [ Tmj)S hug her bod)/, feet and arms.'] and charge me with such an infamous act ? Devil. — Your infant is growing worse, dtm't you see it writhe in agony? [Imps innch baby.] See it cries. Baby. — A-a-a-a. Mrs. /S. — Why don't the doctor come? I see that my darling i>i growing worse rapidly — [Imps spread out their wings over baby.] Devil. — Of course it is, and it was your unjust wrath toward me that caused this relapse ! Mrs. S. — Do you think so ? [Imps amimrhg themselves.] Devil. — I know so; [Pats infant under chin, it instamtly grows better.] See, my magnetic hand has charms to heal and calm your infant, as well as your own, sweet soul ! Mrs. JS. — Sir, I don't know what to make of you, t like you, and yet I hate and fear you ! Devil. — O, nonsense! I am as harmless and useful as a dose of Calomel; and I will do anything for your present comfort and relief! Mrs. S. — You are a shrewd philosopher and if you should cease to call me your " own," I wotild almost love you ! Devil. — You do not understand me, I mean, that when you are widowed, when your husljand dies ; that is, when you are divorced from him — Mrs. S. — Monster ! [Imps rub her baek up and pinch her.] Why do you talk to me of divorce and death of my beloved h usband ? [ Furionsly. ] Devil. — Now, now, keep cool, my own dear Madame — 3Irs. S. — Accursed — [Imps grin.] Devil. — Be your baby and yourself. Mrs. 8. — [Horror and amazement sit on her eountenaucey whilst baby moans a7id Tries.] Fiend! Avaimt. Baby. — A-a-a-a. Devil.— Go on, l)eautiful damsel ; you are driving huge nails into your baby's coffin — 8 Thk Drvii.'s Kingdom. Mi'H. S. — What ! Yes, my child ; O, my darling, you look as if you were dying ! limps spread wingH forioard and grin 'with glee.'\ Say, can you, fiend or saint, save my child ? [Imps dance.'} Devil. — Of course I can, just behold my talismanic powers. [Manipulates o-ver infttnt.] Now see for yourself! Am I not to be loved or dreaded ? Have me just as you please ; because you are mine, and as such I shall govern you ! Mrs. 8. — [Aside.'] I am almost scared to death, and that doc- tor wont come ! Oh ! I am nearly crazed ! What shall I do, who will aid me ? Devil. — I will every time. [Aside.] I guess I am shattering that creature's nerves, and soon she will be a haggard, flabby wife and mother ; when nobody except myself will have her, and J wont keep her long. J/r.s. *S'. — [Stares like a lunatic, and gets hysterical, cries and, laughs alternately.] Oh ! was there ever a more miserable crea- ture on earth ? Here I am, with this sick darling, all alone ; my husband away from home on business, a good for nothing set of servants, who are loafing, and I distressed and worried to distrac- tion, without any hope for relief! Devil. — My own dear madam, why do you worry, [Imps stand- ing back pointing in ith fingers and smiling at devil.] or why do you fear me, I am friendly to everybody, who listens to me, and by listening they always learn gigantic lessons; and as you have seen and felt my power repeatedly, 1 shall leave you and your sick baby alone ; and the moment I leave you, your baby will grow worse! vShall I go? [Imps kiss their hands and leave her.] Mrs. S. — No, no, Oh 1 heaven no, only stay until the the doctor arrives — Devil. — [Pets her.] There, there, my own sweet love, be calm and trust in me, I never go back on my own — Mrs. 8. — Thank you ! [ Cries aloud.] Devil. — Hark ! I hear Dr. Drugopath ! Mrs. 8. — Oh ! many thanks for that ! Devil. — Now, I must leave you, the doctor will cure your infant , when all will be well ! Farewell ! [Smiling.] Mrs. 8. — Good by, noble friend. [Tries to check her sobs.] Devil. — My own darling, permit me to steal only one kiss ! [Kisses her. Imps smack their lips loudly.] How delightful, and nobody is robbed or harmed. Farewell angel, until we meet again. [Aside.] Now, for Dr. Drugopath, here he comes ! [Imps go quietly back of doctor.] [Enter Dr. Drugopath.] Devil. — How do you do, my dear Doctor ! You have come just in the nick of time. Look yonder at your victims ! Dr. Drugopath. — [Looking both confused and haughty.] Sir, what do you mean by saying my "victims" ? I am no mur- derer — Devil. — Ha ! ha ! ha ! Suspicion always haunts the guilty mind, who said you were a murderer? Dr. D. — You insinuated as much by word and look. The Devil's Kinc^dom. 9 Devil. — Come, come, no nonsense. You know very well, that I know you ; and more than all that, are we not mutually interested in the miseries and diseases of mankind ? Could you keep the wolf from your door if I were idle ; if no diseases existed ? [Imps p<(t doctor, who geU affable, rubs huhandii,feeU better.] And is it not me and mine that have started your business of dosing and drugging? limps amUxe tJiemselres, go to madam, ^x.] Had I not led poor Adam and Eve away from Nature's laws, and taught them to eat poisonous stuft", you'd have no precious diseases to doctor ! Yes, were it not for me, you and all your medical breth- ren would be compelled to go to work and earn your food in the sv/eat of your lazy brows. But doctor, to business, to business ! Dr. D- — Yes, yes, to 1-)usiness ; you are the liravest and most industrious of fellows; I'll do as you bid me, now as ever! Devil. — Good, good, O, most excellent doctor! See that su- perstitious fool of a woman over there ! She has been lamenting for you for hours. Her infant is peevish, and I made her believe it was dying. She wants the little brat thoroughly medicated ! I prepared her for a copious dosing ; morever, I persuaded her to muffle the little thing up so thoroughly that it could get no natural air, and you know hom that moment, the seeds of disease were deeply planted in the delicate textures of our to be life long victim ! Dr. D. — Truly you are a cunning and efficient devil — Devil. — Hut, tut, doctor, [Seriously.] do not libel me in that manner. I am a gentleman of ingenuity ! Am I not i* Dr. D. — Undoubtedly you are all that, and more to boot ; but what do you want me to do, that's special in this case? [Imps iratch them sharply.'] Devil. — You sly dog, as if you needed tutorage at this late date. [Nudging him, both laugh, Imps joining.] Dr. D. — I have plenty of all kinds of medicines in my saddle bags, [Pointing to them.] and I warrant, I'll be equal to the constitution of both infant and mother! Ha! ha! ha! [Imps laugh and dance.] Devil. — Yes, dear doctor, she greatly believes in our method of cure, ha ! ha ! ha ! cure her child with mineral balm, it rots most effectually the solid, the bony structures, after which, Nature's hold upon that body and mind is trifling ! Bah ! nature is vulgar, but art \?> fine ! Oh ! doctor, we are the scientists, who can pluck out the rooted sorrow of the nations, and plant within the tablet of memory, a lasting monument to the infernal regions. In this manner, we succeed in being popular; have plenty of disciples, are respected, lauded"and courted as the monarchs of all we survey! Be true to your pocket, and you'll be true to me and to yourself! Sacrifice truth, nature, principle, man, or anything else, for our kingdom ! We never fail in any circle of society when we labor slyly and industriously ; and it is unicine to let everybody know our little secrets. Dr. D. — < >h ! hnl you are a genuine philosopher ! Devil. — And doctor, you are a cunning practitioner ; you and I lo The Devil's Kincdom. know, that our first work is to ruin the vulgar, natural digestive organs of infants 1 Yes, this is our key note ! We know the dead- ening, embalming and pickling properties of all the medicines that are used in the kitchen, drinking saloon, smoking room, par- lor and sick room ! We also know, that these delicacies, these fashionable condiments, relishes, stimulants, and spirituous bever- ages l^elong to o^U' kingdom ! and we know also, that nature, in her pristine condition al^hors them ; but what cannot you and I perform, when we combine our skill, and enter the nursery? Ha! ha ! ha ! Here doctor, we lay our foundation, and this done, the balance comes naturally, according to our kingdom's nature ! Ha! ha! ha! Our cunning "broad road" nature is popular ! \_Nudghng hhii.'] Who cares to be unpopular? Ha! ha! ha! [Imps laugJi.] Dr. D. — Ha! ha! ha! better out of the world, than out of popular favor. Devil. — You are a brick ! Ha ! ha ! ha ! I am almost tempted to make you my right hand imp — [Imps pat and stroke the doctor.'] Dr. D. — [Nudging the deoil.] I thought I had already the honor of that lofty position ? Devil. — Oh ! you have doctor, whilst traversing on terra firma, but I had reference to below — [Pointing below. Imps turn somersaults, Sfc] Dr. D. — [l^huddering.] Oh ! Mr. Devil, you horrify me ; so I pray you, permit me to attend to yonder patients. [ Winking.] Devil. — AH right, and I'll not l>e far away. Doctor, sometimes I may come visibly, and at others invisibly ! Good by. [Exit Devil and Imps.] Dr. D. — Good morning. Baby. — A-a-a-a. Mrs. S. — Oh ! doctor, where are you ? Dr. D. — Here, dear madam, at your bidding. 3Irs. S. — Please hasten dear doctor, and prescribe for my long neglected cherub. Dr. D. — [Draws himself up in a very pompous, loise and dig- nified manner, examining baby thorotigJily at great length, baby sg milling in distress.] Really, madani, it is a very serious case of spotted fever ! Mrs. S. — ^Oh ! great father, you do not mean that ? [ Terribly excited.] Dr. D. — Keep cool, precious lady, I may be able to check the virulent disease, if you will observe my advice rigidly. Mrs. S. — Of course, I'll do anything — Dr. D. — Enough said. [No lo prepares several doses.] Here are some powders, to be taken by yourself, every hour. Mrs. 8. — Doctor, L am not sick, but my baby — Dr. D. — [Aside.] Curse the baby. [^To her.] Madam, who is the doctor, you or I ? Mm- >S'. — [In a rage.] You forget, that you are speaking to a lady ! I want you to give my infant some medicine. The Devil's Kingpost. li Br. D. — Shall I be held responsible for the result of this meui- cation, or do you take the reponsibility ? Mrs. S. — Oh ! doctor, please be quick, look my poor baby — Br. D. — Here, give it that! ^Handing (( iurnhlerful of liquid.'] that -will soothe it for a time. \_Amle.} I hope it will kill it. [Enter Bevil and Imps.} Beinl. — {PaU doctor on sJwulder.'] Doctor, my l>oy, have you prescribed already? I notice the madam is very feverish, and ready for anything — Br. B. — Yes, noble sage, she is a fool, and if it were not for the purpose of preparing a subject for me during life, and a victim for you at death, I would kill the brat and finish the job at once ! limps with a hound surround tlie doctor.} Be>:il. — Doctor, doctor, never have such wicked thoughts as sending the youngster hence, in his innocence; why, you could not commit a greater offence against me and mine; mark that ! Br. B. — Ko sir, I shall not do so, but Til shatter his constitu- tion for spite to the haughty madam ! [Imps stroke liim gently.'] Beoil. — Oh ! for shame, doctor ! You did not quarrel with the charming mother? Think of the poor distressed soul — [Ironi- i)ally. Imps pinch baby.] Baby. — A-a-a-a. 3Irs. 8. — Doctor, my baby is getting worse! I believe he is getting a spasm ! [Imps prick at her and vex her.] Bevil — [ Whispers to lady.] Yes, he is, ask for more medicine. Mrs. S. — Can't you give him something that is more powerful? Br. B. — Here give him that. [A powder.] If that don't ease him, you must take this, [Hands her a black drink.] and then nurse him — Mrs. 8. — His little throat is swollen, he can't swallow — Bevil— [ Whispers to her.] He is strangling. [To the doctor.] (iive a preparation of Lobelia and Number i6 — or something hot — Br. B. — As hell ! [Angered, Imps groan with delight andjiy.] Bevil — Hut, tut, with your sarcasm ! [Bevil and Imps deligltt- ed. Aside.] The brat is on a good way to dissolution, but FU stop this Esculapian disciple of mine in his game, before he robs me of a useful subject; because, this brat shall become a useful member of ^^/te society ; I'll make him a dyspeptic minister of some orthodox faith^ who will drum me up thousands of customers ! [Rubbing his hands.] These are the best teachers of diabolism ! This reckless fool of a doctor, would actually kill the baby, if I were not standing by to watch him ; but I'll astonish him ! Bahy- — A-a — [Tries to cry but cannot do wore tJian moan.] Bevil — [ Whimpers to mother. ] Your ba])y is dying ! [ Imps stretch forth their icings and grin.] Mrs. S. — Doctor, save my darling, O, save, I pray — Br. B. — I have done all I can for him — Mrs. 8. — [In agony.] Oh! all ye powers of earth and air, I invoke thee, save my child, and I am yours as you please — 12 The Devil's Kingdom. Deoil. — [Speaks before doctor and mother.] Madam, I'll take you again at your word; I'll save your darling babe! \_DeinJ takes hah}/.'] Hop-de-doodle-do, the baby lost its shoe ! [Mother smiles, doctor is horrified, devil smiles, baby coos. Scenes open, they move back on the stage. Imps turn somersaidts. Enter a few dozen additional imps and demons. The Doctor and Mrs. Superstition are transformed into victims. The deril ascends to his throne with baby in his arms. The Imp-Dance com- mences. The demons take tlie victims in charf/e, and worry them, by pinches, knocks, ^'c, treating the doctor the most se- verely. The four Leading Imps make terrible leaps and nom- ersaults in the air, whilst the others dance, §t. The angels descend, ivhen the dance ceases, but the devil holds out the baby in an ominous manner. Grand Tableau.] ACT II. SCENE I. — Dressing room of Miss Fashionable. Devil super- intending her toilet. Imps assist. Mins Fashionable. — [Impatiently arranging her things.] Goodness ! I have nothing fit to wear ! All the ladies, rich and poor, can have an abundance ! I am mad enough to curse like a man ! [ Tosses her wardrobe about furiously. ] I wish I were a man ; then I could always be in the'fashion ! Yes, I could make my own money ; and if I could not make it by fair means, I would by foul ! Rob a bank, forge a check, or become Presi- dent of the United States, or of some other profitable institution! "Why the devil wasn't I a man ? [Enter Devil and Leading Imps.] Devil. — Honey, did you call me ? [Imps tumble and shake themselves violently.] At your service in any way. Miss F. — What can you do, stupid ? Devil. — Do ! I can do any thing you desire me to do ! I can provide you with all your imaginary wants, if you are faithful to my commands. Miss F. — [Looks at him with amazement.] Can you, miser- able fool, furnish me with a first-class fashionable wardrobe ? If you can, I will do whatever you command. Devil- — You shall have it. [Imps reach it forth.] Here it is, the very latest style, just invented by myself! Ha! ha! ha! [Imps laugh and fly.] How do you like it ? Miss F.~[Exaniining it.] Oh! it is superb, and you area dear, good fellow ! [She runs up to him and embraces and kiss- es him.] Deoil. — [Both Imps and Devil astonished. Aside.] She is infernally familiar ! But never mind, she'll do for every purpose. [To her.] Miss Fashionable you make me blush ! [Imps blush and leap.] Miss. F. — You don't say so! Ha! ha! ha! A fellow like you blush! [Stares into his eyes.] Thax's too i\\\n,[Imps astonished.] but I am sure that vou are a devilish good rascal. Thf. Devil's Kincdom. , 13 Demi. — Hut, tut, this to me, to me, who has just furnished you with that magnificent wardrobe? [Prefendiihr/ amjer.^ Misji F. — iPattifig Mm on the cheek''] Now don't he angry, I was only in fun. Demi. — [^Aaide.] I don't think so ; the fun is on the other side of her blasted pretty mouth ! [^Tojier.] Now, come, let me be your dressing maid. [Deoil'tind Impn taking thingn^] Mu.^ F. — You are too modest, you might blush again ! [ Look- ing quizzically.'] Devil. — [Soberly, with finger in corner of hiif mouth.] No. sweet lady, I will try not to blush, because I have already taken a lesson from you, and I feel quite bold ! {Imps strike a bold atti- tu-de. ] Miiis F. — Come on then. [Imps and Deinl begin at hair.] Fix my hair first. Demi. — Certainly. [Fi.x according to style.] Miss F. — [Looking in glass.] That's fine! Where did you learn your profession ? Devil. — Below, my dear. [Points, so do Imps and grin.] Miss F. — [Points in imitation and laughs.] Where's that? Devil. — It is where we create all the fashions. Miss F. — Oh ! take me there, wont you ? Devil. — Certainly! [Aside.] You'll go there by the time you get through with me. [Imps elated, jump, daJice, ^c] Miss F. — Will you take me soon ? » Devil. — Yes, but you better get dressed first. Now for your face. [I'he Dnps and Devil j^aint and powder her face. Aside.] This is the stuff to destroy the natural beauty of the skin ; soon she will look as shriveled and dried up as the worst looking imp in my kingdom. [Points below. To her.] Oh! how perfectly beau> tiful you look ! You will smash all the masculine hearts, and rile your fashionable sisters! Miss F. — Do you really think so! [Admiring herself in the glass. Imps fix and smooth her. ] Devil. — Of'course, I know so ; but now come, let's fix your bust. [Imps assist.] Miss F. — [Removes her dress, devil laces her, ^'c] I want my corset very tight. [Imps always iynitate the devil.] Devil. — To be sure. [Aside.] I'll screw you up, tighter than a wasp, and cut your vitals in two, when you'll soon go where we invent fashions. [To her.] How is that for tight ? [Imps have, their heads together, loith hands on their knees, and look .^iharp- ly at the devil. ] Miss F.—[0 asps for breath.] That will do; don't you think so? Devil. — Not quite; now bear up like a saint. [Gicesa tremen- dous pull, she screams, Imps delighted.] Miss F. — That's too infernally tight — Devil. — Don't swear, sweet angel, but suffer me to finish the top ! [Imps and devil peep all around her form, and push cot- ton in the top.] H ^ T}iE Devil's Kingdom, Mli^fi F. — That is hne ! {Admires herself in (jlass.'] Now for niv new dr( Devil. — Certainly, and bonnet! [Imps put on same. ^, You actually look bewitching ! I'd take you to be a millionairess, and one of the most refined heiresses of the Royal Family! [Imps (idmire lier.'] I must leave you now, to attend to other business ; hut I shall see you soon again*! Just you admire yourself slightly before you go promenading. May I be favored with a fashion- able kiss, before we part? Miss F. — Certainly, if you wont spoil my toilet and make-up! Devil. — Don't take me for a coarse back-woodsman ! {Kissen her, Imps smack their lips.'] Oh ! like honey and molasses. [A.nde.] More like brimstone and musk-rats! [To her.'] Farewell ! Miss F. — \_Bows profoundly.] Aurevoir! {Admires herself. Exit Devil and Imps, the latter throw kisses at her and leave in somersaults.] SCENE U.— Dressing room of Mr. Fop. Enter Mr. Fop^. ' Mr. Fop. — I am now nearly seventeen, and I am no more a boy who is going to be kept down by the governor, I have won some money last night at the club. By jingoes! Those fellows dress iinely, and each one of them has a fast horse and a gay lady- love ! I'll be damned — {Enter Devil tind Leading Imps. Stops and stares at the Devil.] Devil. — Mr. Fop, did you call me ? {Imps fiy and are gay.] Mr. F. — No Sir ! Who the devil are you ? Devil. — You have it — Mr. F—HzxQ what ? Devil. — That new suit of clothes, which I assisted you to win the money for last night, so you would be enabled to l)e equal with your gay comrades ! Mr. F. — Sir, I do not understand you ! I never saw you before in my life ! {Imps stare at Fop amazed.] Devil. — But you have felt my influence for many a day ! Mr. F. — Felt your influence. {Meditating and deeming this im2)ude?ice.] You're a liar. {Imps pat him.] Devil. — Base ingrate ! do you forget what trouble I had in teaching you to smoke and chew tobacco ! And I had extra work to get you to take whiskey, beer and cocktails ? Mr. F. — [ Worried, puzzled and angry.] Fool ! who are you; you have never been introduced to me,' and I now wish to make my toilet — Devil. — What — Mr. F. — Stupid ass, I wish to dress! {Fairly screams into DeviVsear. Imps rub up his back.] Deinl.—A]\ Y}S'.— Thanks ! \^Advances to the Lovers, ivlio are in an angry mood, walking up and down the stage followed hy Imps, loho tease them.'] Devil. — My dear young friends, allow me to present Rev. Mr. Sainty to you ; but I suppose you know him almost as well as I do. \^ Aside to Sainty, with nudge.'] Not quite, you rogue. Rev. Mr. 8. — {^Kicks slyly at the Devil, but bows in a very .'Sanctified manner to the lovers.] , Mr. F. and Miss F. — [Speaking at once.] Oh ! certainly, he is our beloved pastor. Devil. — [Aside.] Just see how you are honored ! If you were 'not very serious and dignified, they would become too familiar and you know familiarity always breeds contempt — Rev. Mr. 8. — Shut up ! They'll hear you ! Devil. — Have no fea,rs, coward. I understand my business too well to injure it ! [Speaks to Lovers.] Say, you cooing lovers, are you not rather gay ? Rev. Mr. 8. — Yes, I fear that your conversion has not fully [ Very sanctimonious.] turned you away from the gaieties and frivolities of this sinful world, and — [Stops and stares. Imps smile at him. ] Devil. — [I'o lovers. Aside.] He heard what you said about him when you were having that tine little quarrel, a few minutes since. You'll catch thunder, but never mind, I'll back you up. [Imps .nirround their backs, ^x.] Lovers. — [S2)eak at once.] Thanks, O! many thanks, noble devil ! Rev. Mr. 8. — I was going to say — [Devil and Imps cough in his ear.] DeviL—Hic, hie, hiccough ! Go for them, or they will lose re- spect for you ; put the Eleventh Commandment at them ! Go it. [Devil and Imps push him on.] Rev. Mr. 8. — Go to thunder. [Angry. Speaks now to lover a again.] Well, children, you will be at church together next Sab- bath I hope ! Don't forget to pray ! [Imps imitate Sainty, then grin.] Devil. — [Aside.] Til bake your hash for you, you old viper. [ 1^0 Mr. Fop he whispers.] Come, let us take a walk, I have some- thing to tell you ! Mr. F. — Mr. Sainty, pardon me, if I leave Miss Fashionable to your care, I have some important business to attend to ! Good by darling. [Kisses her and bows himself out.] Devil. — [ Whispers to Mr. Sainty.] I'll keep him away; now you'll have a chance to make a little love slyly, you dog ! [Nud- ging him. ] Au revoir. The Devil's Kingdom. .19 [Exit Devil, TmpH and Mr. Foi-t.'\ Bev. Mr. S. — Now, my sweet girl we are alone, thanks to good fortune ! il/'/.s'.s' F. — Yes, my dear pastor, I am delighted to spend a few hours in your precious society. Bev. Mr. S. — I hope you do not love that fool of a Fop ! Don't you ever marry him, but remain single ! I will comfort you and be- come your ^'genuine" lover ! * Mis» F. — Oh ! Mr. Sainty, you are a married man, and a min- ister, moreover I cannot see how a man of your dignity and rev- erence could love a giddy, fashionable creature like myself, and you know you always preach against the foolish fashions ! Bev. Mr. S. — [Arfinc/ amorous.] But darling! [Kneel!^ before her.] You must know also, that we ministers are awfully natural men, and we are compelled to preach one thing, whilst we cannot help but practice another! For instance, I cannot help loving you ! [Bmbracea and kissen her.] I swear, that I will be true to you, as long as I live, if you will cast oft" that little contemptible Fop !. iShe quietly assents.] [Enter Devil, Imps and Mr. Fop.] Devil. — See there Mr. Fop ! That's ministermg to the sister ! [Nudging him, Imps rub Fop'sbackup and smile; Fop foams and wants to run straight at the sly lovers, but Devil and Imps hold him.] Mr. F. — Flell and the devil, I'll murder them both! [Pulls to go, they still hold him.] Devil. — Nonsense, you ingrate. Have a care how you threaten to destroy my best and most practical disciples ! You have often done the same thing — [Imps smile and point at Fop.] Mr. F. — Let me go, I'll kill the sanctimonious scoundrel ! See, he kisses her again — Devil. — And she responds with a gusto! Ha! ha! ha! [Imps laugh, §-c.] Mr. F. — And you infernal fool, enjoy my misery. Let me loose — Devil. — Wait a little longer, and you may see more ! [Aside.] I will have him as hot [Imps tickle Fop's ears, ^c] as my fur- nace number one, before I let him loose upon the Saintly hero ! Bev. Mr. /S'.— This is delightful, don't you think so, angel ? Miss F. — It is indeed ! j/y.. ^, — Curse them both ! [ Writhing witJi anger, Imps pat him all over.] Devil. — That's it, my boy, curse them as much as you like, the more the better, but don't kill them. Ha! ha! ha! [Imps laugh.] Mr. F. — Yes, I'll murder them both ! Devil. — They seem to enjoy it at your expense ! [Lets him go.] Mr. F.—[Runs up to them, tears her away from Mr. Sainfy, who is yet in an humble, suppliant position, and grasps him, vigorously by tlie head and throat, choking him.] Now you ac- cursed viper, die ! [Imps protect Sainty and fret Fop. Miss Fa sJiionable faints and falls into DeviVs arms, who kisses her, smiles and points at Messrs. Fop and Sainty. Scenes open 20 • The Devil's Kingdom. iplicre Common Imps dance, and where Bemonn torture Victims^ Leading Lnps manipulate performen^. Miss Fashionable and Mr- Fop are transformed into Victims, when Demons take thenh and Rei). Mr. Sainty rises and lifts Ms hands headenward^ ^ when Anf/els enter, then a fight ensues between leading Imps and Angels for Sainty. The clothes fall half from Sainty, in transformation, hut the seizure by the Angels causes his clothci^ to go on him again ; thus, the Angels are victorious; Devil and his minions disappear, when additional hosts of Angels enter, and a grand dance takes place ; Rev. Mr. Sainty now being embraced, guarded and petted by the angelic host. Finally, very suddenly, the Devil and his Leading Imps rush in. Demons and Common Imps follow, and grasp Sainty; instantly his clothes fall from him, he is transformed into a Victim ; the Angels fly and scream, when the sounds of hell, darkness. Sec. create a most imposing Tableau.'] ACT III. SCENE I. — Drawing Room of TMiss Prudish, wJio is a nasty fine, and someiohat dissipated, homely creature. MiifS Prudish. — I hate coarse people! Yes, I detest the Misii! Tones' and the Miss Williams'; they are deuced vulgar ! Why, [Goes'^ to table, takes a large drink of liquor.'] they can talk of legs and busts in the presence of the coarser sex without blushing. Yes, they also drink wine and beer in company with men ! Bah ! it is as much as I can do \^More liquor.] to take my nips in private! I have often wondered how most people can be so shiftless ! vSatan himself would blush — \_Stares.] [Enter Devil and Leading Imps.] Devil. — At your bidding — [Imps all bow profoundly, then jump.] Miss p. — Great Mars ! Who are you, and what do you want ? {Motioning him away.] Demi. — I want to warn you against low vulgar people ; like the Jones' and Williams', do you see, I am your guardian angel ? [Imps spread out their wings.] Miss p. — Oh ! thank you, you verily are a wise gentleman ! Deoil. — [Goes to liquor.] Have a drink? Miss. P. — Ha ! ha ! Certainly with you I will ! Devil — [Aside.] I thought so. [To her.] You are i?^^ lady out often thousand ! [Imps pat her.] 3Iiss P. — [Aside.] I am delighted to have met with a conge- nial soul at last. Ha ! ha ! [To him.] Do you really think so^^ Deinl. — Oh ! Yes ! [Puts his arm around her waist, and looks lovingly into her eyes. Imps hug each other-] Miss P. — [Mock modestly.] Don't, O, don't, you bring my vir- tuous maiden blushes to my delicate cheeks. [Imps tear their mouths wide open with amazement.] Devil. — [Aside.] Devil the bit, old hag. [Both smile. To her.] That wont do any harm, we are alone ! The Devil's Kingdom. 2t M(xs P' — I feel so much at home with you, that I don't mhid anything you may do. Demi. — [Aside.} Thunder, she seems to be more than a match for myself. [SmileH and ki^fies her. To her.'] Darling, you do me reverence ! [Spits.'] Miss p. — I suppose it is my extremely refined nature, that caus- es you to admire me so much ? [Acts self satisfied.] Deril.— lBu.mhfonrided, Imps like/m'se.] Certainly. [Aside.] The disgusting witch, I'd like to send her below, but she is too useful to knock the filthy breath out of her for yet a while ! I'll just see what she is able to do ! She puzzles me ! Miss p. — [Ta7i.es a no flier huge drink of liquor.] Good ftn- my stomach. [Puts hand on it. Imps rub her stomach.] Devil. — [Aside.] I be hanged, if I ever educated her. Can there be another monarch of a similar kingdom to mine about ? [ To her.] Yes dear, that must be good for your stomach ! [Aside.] The way her breath smells, I should think any filth would benefit her stomach ! I actually feel nauseous ! [ Gags^ Imps shake their heads as if sick.] 3fiss p. — 'My darling what shall we do next, or where shall we go? Devil. — [Angry. Aside.] Go into the natural air and ventilate your foul breath, there is no danger of being cured of it, you are too gigantically rotten. Bah! [To her.] Yes, my sugar lump. [Bah.] You'd better go visiting! [Imps tumble and amuse them- selves. ] Miss p. — Will you accompany me ! [Meditates for a time.] Devil. — [Blushiri.g.] No, I thank you! I have other business that I must attend tc ! [Aside.] The ugly fool, I wish I had the expounding of the law, hang me, if I wouldn't imprison for life, each prudish fool like her ! Ha! ha! ha! here comes the Hon. Law Expounder. [Enter Hon. Law Expounder.] ^ How are you, my most cute brother? [Imps surround and rv< and sliakes, like a leaf an he beholds the Devil.'] Oh ! O, ye gods, where am I? Devil. — Safely with me ! [L/ips grin at him fiercely.'] Mr. B. D. — iFeels, jrinches and hite>^ himself.] Am I awake and in hell, and is that the Devil and his Imps'? Or, am I only dreaming? Oh ! but I feel blue and scared. But he looks friend- ly. [Devtl smiles.] I wonder if another drop would not cure all tliis confusion. [ Crawls to table, with eye on Devil, and drinks again.] Devil. — You are drunk ! Dead drunk, you beast — Mr. B. D.—Yon lie ! [Staggers. ] Devil. — No wretch, I sit. Mr. B. D. — Beg pardon ! So you do. Are you the Devil ? llic, hie. Devil- — No Sir, I am a gentleman. Mr. B. D. — The devil you are. Devil. — Cease calling me by that name, or I'll skin you. J/r. 5. i).— Skin me ! iStrikes at the Devil.] Will you ? Take that. [Misses him and falls on floor.] Have you enough ? J)eoil. — [Aside.] Drunkenness, when not carried too far, is a blessing, but this loafer gets so dead and beastly drunk, that he disgusts all decent drinkers! I will pick a quarrel with him, after he is sobered, and then he'll challenge me to a duel, when I will kill him, and send him safely home — [Points beloic Imps sit around Blue Devil. Mr. B. D. lies dead drunk a short time. Re-enter Miss Prudish and lion. Law Expounder lov- ingly.] lion. L. E. — Well, my precious one, it is lawful now-a-days to do anything that is popular ! We lawyers claim to know who is a nuisance in genteel society — Devil. — [Aside.] That's my kind ! Hon. L. E. — And we never convict one of our own ! Devil. — [Aside.] No Sir, not while I am about. Hon. L. E. — If it happens that a brother or sister, — yourself for instance — Miss p. — Yes, dear ! [IStares at him.] Hon. L. E. — Should be detected in violating the law, — for in- stance like manufacturing ones own liquor, like you do, — we would not be able to find the witnesses, because a few dollars, you know, silences almost any of our people ! Devil— [Aside.] I bet! Hon. L. E. — Moreover, we Law Expounders, who are in good standing at headquarters — Devil. — [Aside.] That's my kingdom ! Hon. L. E. — Have endless technicalities worked into all the laws, which our own legislators inserted for the benefit of our friends. JJeoil. — [Aside-] Certainly, it must be a poor gentleman who does not care for his own ! My ties are always secure ! Ha ! ha ! ha ! Miss p. — My dear, but should some of those coarse, low fellows — The Devil's Kingdom. 25 like the Jones' 01* Williams' — commit an offence, could you con- vict them, whether they had money or not? Hon. L. E. — \_ Hesitating, rubbing his Jiead.] We-11 — Devil. — [Aside.] Say yes, if she, or some one else had more money to give ! Hon. L. E- — Well yes, that is, provided my precious love, the prosecutor had more money to spend than the Jones' or Williams'. Miss p. — It is money then, that makes law ? Hon. L. E- — J List so, just so, my dear ; you have it. Devil. — [^ Aside to Miss P.] Yes, and with money you can convict any one, whether he commits an offence or not. Miss p. — Then with money you lawyers can convict any one, whether he is guilty or not ? Hon. L. E. — We-11 yes, but I do not like the manner in which you express it ; it does not sound refined ! But it reminds me too much of the Jones' and Williams'. Miss p. — True, true. Devil. — \^ Aside to Miss P.] Yes, truer than preaching ! Miss P. — My love; [^Shocked and stares at Mr. Blue Devil, who awakes from his dead drunk.} who is that beastly looking fellow ? Devil. — \_Aside to Miss P.] He is a useless fool, whom you should remove from your refined apartment ! 3Iiss p. — Please put him out, [Hon. L. E. scared.} My dear ! [ Goes to him. ] Mr. B. D. — [Bises up, sits on corner of table, drinks her liquor.'] Ah ! this cure all steadies my hand [^Hhakes.] and head; and now I am ready for a row. \_Starn'ps and slashes around.} Who wants to fight ? limps urge him on, then are delighted.} Hon. L. E. — My dear, I am no coward, [Backs behind her.} but I detest coarse, drunken roughs — Mr. B. D. — [Dashes at them.} Say, old thief, who are you; by jingo, you have got a fine red nosed wench there ! [Makes for MiHS P.] Miss P. — [Screams.} Murder! take him away, dear Ex- pounder. Mr. B. D- — I will, by gosh ! [Grasps Hon. L- E. and jerks him around cehemently.} What do you want me to do with the thief and forger ? Hon. L. E. — [Aside.} Save me, ye protecting powers! Devil. — Certainly! [Imps Jiing Mr. B. D. atrag.} Scoundrel, what do you mean ? Mr. B. D. — [Sobered now.} Curse you ! [Goes uj) to him.} I'll have satisfaction, satisfaction! [Imps push him on and wink. } Devil. — As you please, fool ! What will you have, swords or pistols ? Mr- B. D. — 'Swords of course ! Devil.— Ail right! [Imps produce them.} Here they are, take your choice ! 26 The Devil's Kingdom. Mr- B- D- — [Aftide-I Curse him, I thought he was a coward ! Oh ! ye gods, but I feel blue, but I must fight him ! Devil. — Come on, drunken knave ! limps watch closely. They fight, Hon. L. E. and Miss P. are scared to death, run im,io ^corners and tremble. Imps smile, Devil falls, and Mr. B. D. runs ?iim through tico or three times, Devil preterods death for a time.'] Hon. L. E. — {Finding the danger over, says to B. D.] Sir, you have murdered him, and you'll be hung, I am a I>aw Ex- pounder, hence know what I say. Miss Prudish and myself are witnesses against you. Mr. B. D. — ^Laments.] Oh ! will my troubles never end ? My O, my ; but I feel blue ! Why did I kill the devil anyhow — Devil. — {Aside.] Fool, you didn't kill him quite yet. {Kicks.] Hon. L. E. — [Examines Devil's heart, lyronounces him de- funct.] He is gone! Miss p. — [ Uplifted hands.] Oh ! O, is the noble fellow dead I \_Cries.] Mr. B. D. — {Doicncast in silence a moment.] Sir, did you say that you were a Lawyer ! {Imps ^notion, yes, yes.] Hon. L. E. — Yes Sir, of eminence, I flatter myself. {Pom- pously.] Miss p. — Indeed he is, and you'd better fee and consult him right here. Mr. B. D. — Fine lady, will you loan me the money ? Miss p. — I'll see. {Consults with her lover aside.] My dear, what can we do with this uncouth ruffian ? He thinks he has killed yonder cute brother ! Hon. L. E.—ll^\ ha! ha! That's rich! Let's try him. I will propose to make you the Court, and he may defend himself, whilst I'll be prosecuting attorney, when you'll see my style of oratory and legal acumen ! Miss p. — Good, good ; we can at any rate rid ourselves of this beast ! {Imps jump, ^c, in great glee.] Hon. L. E. — {Addresses B. D.] Sir, my friend and myself being the only witnesses against you, have concluded that, if you will be tried by us for your crime ; she to be the Judge — The Court, — I to be prosecuting attorney, and you defend yourself, we will not appear against you in any other manner, but you must abide by the decision of this Court. Mr. B. D. — [ Very blue, sighs.] Well, it is the best I can do, proceed ! {She takes seat at table, and Hon. L. E. opens.] Hon. L. E. — May it please your honor ; this prisoner at the bar is guilty of premeditated, cold-blooded murder of our brother, yonder ; and I hope that your most excellent honor will make a terrible example of this drunken beast ! I invoke all the powers of our beloved kingdom, {Imps go close and open their icings.] that your mind, your honor, may be so impressed, thsCt you will sentence him to swing by his nasty neck in less than twenty five minutes! I've done. {Imps motion up.] Devil. — {Pulls the Court's dress. Aside to Court.] You decide The Devil's KmoDOM. 27 that the first living person that appears on this spot, shall fight with him another duel v/ith these swords, and the result of that shall clear the winner. Court.— [Axide.] All right. AfV' B- D. — May it please your excellency to have mercy on a poor, misguided, drunken, blue devil, and may your honor have a motherly feeling for a wretch like myself. Don't hang me in my sin ! I wish to repent. llnipH hiugh boifsterousli/ and shake themselves viole?itli/. ] Devil. — iPuUs her again. Aside.] Don't you change your ideas, and let the fool repent, anything but that, you know. Mr. B. D. — I have nothing more to ask, but I wish my mamma could see me before I die ! [ Weejys aloud.'] Court. — Shut up, you wicked wretch ! It is the decision of the Court to sentence you to fight the first living person that appears on this spot. Devil. — Now then, is my time to get up ! \_I nips hand them the swords.] I am that man, come on ! [ Thei/ fight, Demi kills him. Looers strike an attitude of satisfaction, back of duelists. /Scenes open, exposing infernal regions, where Common Imps carouse. Demons torture Victims. The Lovers, Law Expounder and Miss Prudish are transformed into Victims and are taken by the Demons. Lnmense groans from all hands go forth, at which moment the dead Blue Devil is transformed, and taken by the four Jjeading Imps and carried back on the stage and dropped into a fame of fire striking up through the floor. Shouts and groans, from Victims and Imps, fill the air icith horror I Devil is on his elevated throne smiling. Imps with uplifted hands seem gay, Sfc. Tableau.} ACT IV. SCENE I.— Private apartment of Mrs. Gossip, where she receives her friends. She is a neat, tidy saird^very versatile and sanctimonious. Note.— This act is omitted in the Gorgeous Spectacular Edition. Mrs. Gossip. — If there is one class of people more despicable than another, it is gossippers. But I do detest such low lived sinners ! My dear Alphonse, when he lived, always told me to attend to my own affairs, and let other people do the same! Yes, yes, what a beautiful world this would be, if long tongued women were banished from decent society ! But Satan must have his followers — [Enter Devil and Leading Imps.] Devil- — Certainly, Madam; at your service ! Mrs. O. — [Scared and screams.] A-a-a-a. Devil. — It is only me, you need not scream ! I can tell you of some horrible things — [Imps tear their eyes widely open.] 3Irs. G. — [ Wide agape.] You don't say so, what is it ? Devil.— [Gasping for breath.] Please give me a little time, when I will tell you all about it — zS The Devil's Kingdom, Mrs. G. — Well, hurry up, I am dying to know. Devil. — I'll tell you, but you know — ■ Mrsi. G. — No, I don't know, but why don't you speak out quickly? [All impatience.^ You anger me dreadfully, by hesita- ting so long. \^Im/p8 vex her. ] Devil — [Tdntalizingly .'] My dear Mrs. Gossip, you don't par- ticularly care to know anything about your neighbors over the way. Mr^. G. — l^Aside.'] Accursed be his tongue for agitating me in this manner — Devil. — [Aside.'] I'll agitate you worse yet, before I take you below. [Pointing.'] You old she-devil ! Ha! ha! ha! [Impx laibgli and act impatient.] Mrs. G. — Why don't you hurry, and tell me, what about our neighbors ? Devil.^l will! [Hesitates.] Mrs. G. — Well, well, go on quickly ! [Stamps her foot mth rage and impatience.] Devil. — -Certainly, I'll go on, but give me time to collect my senses — Mrs. G. — -Fool, you annoy me ; why don't you tell me the hor- rible news ? You are as provoking as the devil himself. [Impx fiy, tumble, §'^.] Devil. — By hokey! now I'll tell you; but first let me say, that you are an exemplary woman, who always attends to her own business ! Mrs. G. — Do you want me to go raving mad ? i)6'^1^7.— No indeed; because, if you became a raving maniac, you could not understand what I am going to tell you ! Mrs. G. — Why in thunder, don't you tell me then ; keeping me in such suspense. [Imps twist and hon.nce her.] Devil. — I'll be telling you ; only have patience until I frame my speech — Mrs. G. — Accursed be your speech ! Devil. — [Aside.] Good, good, she is improving, I'll give her a diploma very soon for diabolism ! [Imps in great glee. To her.] Say, sweet virgin, you put me so much in mind of a near relative of mine, that I have fallen in love with you. Mrs. G. — [Stamps her feet and bites her lips; furious.] You are as provoking as the devil ! Why don't you tell me, what hap- pened our neighbors ? [ImpK point at Devil and grin, ^^c] Devil. — Happened your neighbors ! I did not say that anything happened your neighbors; moreover, if anything Jtad happened ; you, who never attend to other people's affairs, would not care to know about it. Mrs. G. — [Aside-] He is the most provoking scoundrel that I ever met in all my life. [ To him.] Are you going to tell me those "horrible things" you spoke about ? Devil. — Oh ! yes, I thought you had forgotten all about it, in your tame mood to please and entertain me ! The Devil's Kingdom. 29 Mr8> 0. — -Please and entertain you! You must be a disappoint- ed fool ! What interest could I take in the likes of you ? Devil. — Great Mars! {^Look)^ at himfielf^] I thought you ad- mired and well nigh worshipped me ! But it only goes to show, how some weak-minded creatures can deceive themselves — Mrs. O. — Certainly, you are a most weak minded fool, or you could relate what happened — [Imps f/reatly delighted.'] Devil. — iPats her on the head.] Oh ! well, well, well, my honey, be patient, I will tell you — • Mr.^. O. — {^More impatient than ever, stamps.] Well, well, fool ; how many wells does it take to make a river ! But will you go on ? Devil. — -Of course I will, but you make me answer so many new questions, that I cannot finish my own story — Mrs. Q. — Curse — Devil. — 'Stop, stop ! [Puts his hand on her mouth.] don't swear. You want to know — Mrs. 6r.— ^Yes, yes, certainly — Devil. — -i5ow many wells it takes to make a river — - Mrs. G. — [Foams.] O, Oh ! was patient woman ever so tor- tured ? Was patient woman ever so tantalized ? Devil. — Hut, tut, you are mistaken ! I would not annoy you, nor irritate your chaste, quiet nerves — Mrs. G. — But you do irritate my nerves. [Raves. Imps pincli and tickle her.] Devil— [Coolly.] Bo 17 \Well~ Mrs. G. — Accursed be your wells— Devil. — Oh ! I see, you want to know, how many wells it takes to make a river! [Hesitates coolly, whilst she looks daggers at Mm.] Well, it only takes one, if it is big enough — -[Tnij^s shake and grin.] Mrs. G. — May I cease to live, if I wouldn't like to choke you for not telling me about those "horrible things" that happened ! Devil. — "Horrible things" ! Just so, but I am not a competent person to teach "horrible things," it takes a newspaper Editor to do that. [Enter Mr. Editor.] [Aside.] By my own sweet self, here comes the very man ! [ To him.] How are you Mr. Editor ? [Imps jump and amuse theni' selves.] Mr. Editor. — I am quite salubrious, how is yourself, and have you any news "? • 2)g;,27._News ! deuced the bit ; but here is Mrs. Gossip, who has been spoiling' to meet you; allow me to introduce you two saints of our kingdom ! [Points below.] Mrs. Gossip, this is Mr. Editor, who can manufacture plenty of "horrible things" for yo.u in double quick ! 3Irs. G. — Happy indeed, to meet him ! Jf;'. JiJ, — Endless thanks, and permit me to return the compli- ment ! Devil. — [A.side.] At last I have succeeded in bringing two of 30 The Devil's Kingdom. the most prosperous and acutely industrious souls together that ever labored for my kingdom, [Bnps surround Mrs. G. and Mr.E.~\ Mrs. G. — My dear sir, what is there new on the tapis, although I despise gossippers, it is proper to learn what goes on in the news- ]iaper line ? Mr. E. — Oh ! certainly, you are perfectly correct, and I admire your good taste. Devil. — Ha! ha! ha ! \^Aside.'] When I get my disciples past a certain degree of education, I have no more trouble to havetheni continue their avocation with energy and fidelity. Both these fools, [Pointi7ig to them.} are graduates at my Universities ! They can manufacture more columns of news in an hour, than all my Imps combined could do in a year. [Imps nod assent.} In sooth I am no wheres when they are about, as any one can see when I am gone. [E.rit Devil and Imps.} Mrs. G. — Did yoii hear the news about Mr. Lucre Influence ? Mr. E. — No, my dear Madam, I did not, what is it? Mrs. G. — Is it possible! [Delighted, rubbing her hands.} and an Editor too, and did not hear the vile and dastardly conduct of that contemptible old miser ? Mr. E. — [Astonished. Aside.} The old gossipper. [7'(9 Aer.] Please, do tell what it is ? I'll make a note of it, and will publish it in the "Hornet." Mrs. G. — [Lively.} I will, and O, do publish it — Mr. E. — Of course I will, but tell me first — Mrs. G. — Certainly ; so get your pen and paper, and take it down! [Delighted.} Well, Mr. Lucre Influence, you know is very rich, very mean and influential amongst the upper crust ! [ Turning up her nose.} Well, let me tell you ; he was down at Rev. Mr. Sainty's the other day to a festival, and Miss Fashionable and Miss Prudish were invited guests; and of course, every body knows that these chaste young damsels are fishing to catch the old miser ; whilst he is very fond of their society, he does not mean to be caught by them ; Init, when Mr. Sainty put his oar into the puddle, the young ladies l^lushed, but Mr. Sainty said in great earnestness : Mr. Lucre Influence, I learn that you have proposed marriage to Miss Fashionable. At this charge, old Lucre flew into a rage and struck the Rev. [Laughs hugely.} Mr. Sainty a terrilile blow in his face, knocking all his beautiful teeth down Ids throat — Mr. E. — You don't say so — Mrs. G. — Yes I do say so ; and more than this ; when Mr. Sainty had recovered from the shock, Mr. Lucre and Miss Prudish — that refined virgin — [ Turning up her nose, aitd speaking very fast.} joined in a conspiracy, to mob Miss Fashionable, who is the particular love, on the sly, of Rev. Mr. Samty — Mr. E. — Why, Mr. Sainty is a married man, with a family. ; Mrs. G. — Bah ! what diflerence does that make with the upper ten, [Sneers.} whether they are single or married. Mr. E. — Where did you learn all this? And is this all ? The Devil's Kingdom. 3L Mrs. Q. — Ha ! ha ! ha ! Learn it ! why every body knows it, but I have not told you one half of it — ■ * Mr. E. — •Please tell me the balance — Mrs. G. — [Oaily and JuqjpUp-] Certainly, certainly, I will. Now listen, but don't blush, my dear fellow. \_Nadging Mm familiarly. '\ Mr. E> — \^Aside.'] She is a stunner, be-gad ! ■ Mrs. G. — Well, Mr. Lucre Lifluence and Miss Prudish, tore every bit of clothing oft" Miss Fashionable's back, until she was as thread bare as a newly born baby! [Laughing with delight.] Ha ! ha ! ha ! This so shocked the holy Rev. Mr. Sainty that he fainted, or pretended to do so ; [Disgust.'] when a general fight took place among the sisters and brothers, who were present on this festive [Delighted.] occasion ! They all seemed to make for Mr. Influence and Miss Prudish, but the old miser struck every one to the floor, with his loaded cane, who came near him; and at this stage of the proceedings, the police entered the apartment, but upon discovering the man of influence, they did not attempt to arrest him, although he was still knockmg down dozens of the guests ! Mr. E. — Was anyone injured ? Mrs. G. — Ha ! ha ! ha ! Yes, I should think there was ! Bloody noses and broken bones plenty, but our respectable miser came out victorious, as millionaires always do. Mr. E. — I will comment on this little affair, and give this old scoundrel a few extra blows. Don't you think I better bedaub him a little with printer's ink ? Mrs. G- — Yes, of course, picture him as a vile scoundrel and base seducer of innocent lasses ; which is the holy truth ; because, he has ruined hundreds of innocent young ladies, who were fools enough to believe that he would marry them, or pay liberally, if they would threaten to 'eople believe any- thing that appears in the newspapers ! But, iLooking quizzlmlly in liu face.] we who manufacture things, know better! Don't we? [Both laugh.] Ha! ha! ha! Mr. E. — I warrant we do! But what do you think Mr. lAicre Influence will do, when he spies those philosophic lines of mine? Ha ! ha! ha! iPlemed.] Mrs. G. — Will do ? Rave and threaten to cane you ! but he is afraid of your pen, or he'd cowhide or cane yon, sure as fate. You'd better carry a little bull dog! T^f^, E.— {Pulls his revolver from his pants' pocket, back.] Oh! I do. Mrs. G- — Good enough ! [Enter Mr. Lucre Influence.] Mr. L. I. — [Suddenly upon Mr. E'., grasps him by the neck, and prevents him. from pulling his pistol ai first.] Now, ac- cursed scribe and libeller, take that! [Cowhides him awfully.] Mrs. G. -[Scared to imenubility.] Oh! O, ye powers of protection aid — [Enter Devil and Imps with a rush.] Bevil— [Holds her in his arms, ichilst she faints. Imps fan her, smile, §'c.] My sweet sugar lump looks charming, when scared a little by the boy's play spells ! [To him-] Lay on, Mr. Lucre Influence ! [Imps lay her on thefl.oor, and go to the aid of Mr. Editor, who is now down, whilst Mr. L. Influence whipM him until he is exhausted.] Mr. E. — Mercy, mercy ! Oh ! help, help ! Mr. L. /.—I'll help you ! [ Chokes him to stop his screaming.] Bevil.— [Imps go up behind, and assist Editor to get his pis- tol ; he draws and fires, kills L. I. Mrs. G. is aroused by pistol report.] Oh! Mada'm, I hope you feel better — Mrs. G. — What are they doing? [Pointing to pugilists.] Mr. E. — [After first shot fires again and again,] Die, dog ! Bevil. — They are only playing ! [Lucre Infi.uence in his dying agony rises and makes for Mrs- Gossip, she screams, Bevil takes her in his arms, Imps take L. I. away. He drops. Editor rises victoriously. Impf raise him into their arms. Tableau.] ACT V. SCENE l.~Bar Room of a fashionable Brinking Saloon! All half (frunk. ^ Kept by Grand.Ma Snooks. Hon. Politician.— [Red nose, portly and .s^mcy.] Friends, hie, hie, we are the experienced statesmen of this progressive age! ifr. Gaiety.— [A pert lively fool.] V-e-s, I be darned, if we ain't! Ain't we Grand-Ma Snooks? 34 The Devil's Kingdom. Grand-Ma Snookn. — You are a drunken fool, shut up your mouth, hie ! hie ! hie I or I'll murder you ! Mr. G. — You will, [ GtMif her a hloio in the face loitli hU fist. ] will you, take that, old hag ! : Hon. P. — [Rises and staggers.} I rise to a point of order ! Hie, hie, hie. I say, let's all have a drink! Hurrah ! hurrah ! 3/r. G.—Of eourse we will ! [Goes totteriiig to Bar.} Come on Granny. [Both drink.} G. M. S. — [Groans.} Go to the devil with your drink ! [Enter Devil, Imps and Derno7is.} Devil. — [Aside.} Well, well, this is a beautiful speetacle. Ha ! ha ! ha ! [Invps and Demons laugh; The Demons grab for the performers, hut Lnps keep them hack.} These saints were once the elite of the town where nabobs and aristocrats lived and ruled. But truly, to what base uses may we come at last, might be appli- cable in some circles of society, but with us it does not hold good ; we are a very zealous people, and we stick closely together, which is seen by taking a peep at my old disciples yonder. They are getting to be a disgrace; because, they act too disgustingly stupid to have many followers ; but then, they are nearly played out ; and although their example is not patterned after much by myself, still I love to see them make preparation to come home ! Home ! sweet, sweet home ; there's no place like home ! I'll not permit them to go abroad much, when they get so nearly ready for my furnaces. Cremation is now becoming popular, even on this crooked earth, but no one can compete with me ! [Speaks now to Grand-Ma Snooks.} Halloo! Granny Snooks ! How is biz? Sell plenty of fire-water? [Demons grab for Granny, Imps oppose it.} G. M. S. — What is't your business, how it is ! Hain't you had enough service from me, you old serpent ? Devil. — What ? Call me, me an old sei-pent ? Slander, Slander, you old sinner ! Hon. p. — [Aicakesfrorn stupor.} Who are you calling an "old sinner ?" I rise to a point of order [Staggers.} Hie, hie! Say, old cloven foot, [Looking at Devil and Imps. Demons again make for ?iim, Imps jU'eventthem.} who in he-11 are you ? Are you a me-m-ber of, hic, Congress ? Or are you a Judge ? hie, or are you a thief? Mr. G. — [Awakes.} He is a thief, hic, I saw him steal Gran- ny's whisky. [Demons likewise go for him, §'c.] G. M. S. — You lie — [Imps laugh and tumble around Demons.} Mr. G. — If I wasn't a gay gentleman, [Staggers pertly.} I be damned I'd mash your nose, you old devil ! Devil. — Did you speak to me ? [Goes up to4iim.} Mr. G. — Go to hell, hic, you impudent hound ! Who are you ? lam Mr. Gaiety ! [Gaily. Imps stare at G. holding Demons hack. ] Devil. — Indeed, you look very gay ! [Aside.} I'll have some fun with these fools, before I send them home! I'll make them The Devil's Kingdom. 35 l:)elieve that I am a genuine thief! [To Oranny SnookH.'\ Say, may I have the use of your house for a fortnight ? G. M. S. — No Sir, you are a thief ! Beiril.' — Ha! ha! ha! [L/ips and Be/nom l/iUf/Jt.] Of course, I am a genuine thief! I don't only steal trash, l:)ut I rob such fools as you of your good name — 3fr. G. — \_Ridn(j gaily, totte I'll u/ (I rid going for the Dcuil.], You are a h-o-ld scoundrel to own up be-fore gentleman, like us, hie, hie ! What do you say, Hon. Politician, and deitr Granny Snooks? Hie! hie! hie! hah! [Looks at Devil and Tmp.'^, who grin at hin.] Hon. P. — Say, say! [Goes near Devil.'] Why, I say, that I rise to a point of order — [Imps laugh and protect him from Demons.] G. M. S. — [Rises tip and staggers.] I say that you are all drunk, and ought to be hung for molesting a decent lady like my- self, hie, hie. — [F^dls on floor. Demons make a terrible effort to take her, but the Imps act vigorously in her defence, and drive Demons back.] Devil. — Well, ladies and honorable gentlemen, I wish you to know that I propose to rol^ you to-night of that which is most pre- cious to you all — Mr. G. — [Goes and gobbles up Granny\'< whisky bottles.] He's g-o-ing to steal, hie, dear Granny's whisky — [Imps and Demons tumble, ^c] Hon. P. — [Pompous.] Put him out, gentlemen, hie. Devil. — [Buns behind bar, upsets bottles, Sfc-] Now look out for your property. lion. p. — [Tottering.] I rise to a point of order; hie, I say, let's put that damn thief out. [Pointing to Devil.] [Explanation. — They run after the Devil; the Leading Imps trip them up; enter Common Imps; the performers tumble over each other, and hammer each other, for the thief; at last Mr. Gaiety gets Grand-Ma, Snooks' head under his arm, thinking it is the Devil, when he pounds her head and face ferociously. Common Imps assist Leading Imps to keep the Demons from taking the performers, §v%] Mr. G. — Now, you old thief, I have got you ; take this. Devil. — [Appears before Gaiety's eyes when lie ix e.rhauMed.] Say, old gay fool, why do you strike that poor ohl hag in that manner? [Aside.] Ha! ha! ha! This is not the only pummeling that the wrong person's got! Mr. G. — [Thunder struck; stares and exainines his victim.] My great heavens ! Granny is that you ? Ha ! ha ! ha ! P)egad I tliought it was that devil of a thief there. [Pointing to Devil.] Hon. p. — [Rises from, the floor where he fell in the scuffle.] I rise to a point of order! [titares at devil, who laughs, then ex- amines Granny, who bleed><, and icho is nearly dead.] That thief [Points to devil.] nearly killed our noble, hie, hostess. Let's murder him ! 36 The Devil's Kingdom. Mr. G. — [Ooes to bar, sees whiski/.] Let's have a drink l)oys, and be merry — Hon. p. — I rise to that point of order ! Come on old thief, and take a drop. Demi. — No, I thank you, I never drink ! {Imps and Demoihn look on with glaring eyes and without moving a muscle-^ Mr. G. — Say, your honor, that fellow is a tem-p-e-r-ance, hie, ha ! ha I Old thief, are you a tem-p-erance [Drinks and speaks into C7ip.'] man? Ha! ha! [Strangles.'] Don. p. — [Aside to Mr. Gaiety.] Say, boss, bedad, he is drunk. [Meaning the Devil.] Don't you see how he .spins around? 3fr. G. — [Looks with eyes nearly shut.] So he does ! [Points to Granny who lies like dead, on the floor.] Look, old Granny has joined him. Let'sdrink all her whisky for that. [Both drink.] Hon. p. — I rise [CanU rise, tries.] to a point, a point, point of order — Devil. — Prepare, each of you to meet your doom ! Sleep oil' your drunken debauch, and then open your eyes in purgatory num- ber one ! [Hxit Devil. Leading and Common Lnps have great trouble to get Demons to leave the performers mul exit. Gents fall down dead drunk.] G. M. S. — [Awakes, feels badly bruised.] My, Oh ! my good- ness, but I am infernally sore! [Looks around, fails to see any one.] The boys have surely gone to catch that thief! He was a bold fellow! I admired him for his bravery! Ha! ha! ha! [Feels pain in jaws from laughing.] Oh ! O, my jaws ! I am faint. I must have some pure stimulus ! [Crawls back of her bar, gets an extra bottle, laughs.] ILa ! ha! that thief did not find this! Oh ! my jaws ! [Drinks and looks around and spies dead drunk gents.] Great Jupiter ! Ha! ha! Look there, [Points.] there are our great statesmen ; our law makers, and our gay old rakes; all as drunk on my rot-gut as the devil ! [Pe-Enter Devil and Leading Lnps.] Devil. — Thank you, old hag, I do not get drunk, I'd have you know — G. M. 8. — [Scared greatly.] What? [Sees Lnps and knows the Devil now.] Great powers of earth, shield me from these Demons — Devil. — Ha! ha! ha! [Lnps all join in a ferocious laugh.] You are a pretty specimen to ask to be shielded from our happy family. You who have dealt out the stuff of damnation to thou- sands. [Pointing to drunken gents on the floor.] Look there — G. M. S. — [Screams vehemently.] A-a-a-a. Devil. — They are your subjects, and you are my victim. [Imps tumble, ^c] G. M. S. — [Drinks freely.] Now, I guess I can steady my nervous imaginings — Devil. — That's the stuff to prepare for number one, [Pointi' below.] get ready to go. (t. M. S. — [leeh bold again.] To go where, old cloven foot? Thk Devil's Kingdom. 57 DecU.—To hell. [Poi7its below, Imps point and grin. ] O. M. S. — "What, send me to hell ? That's a pretty piece of busi- ness, to talk about honest industrious people like me, going to hell, when I have been wearing out my body and soul to please such gen- tlemen as your law makers, your nabobs, your millionaires, your gay rakes, your fast ladies and your professors who have dropped in here to escape the gaze of the fastidious populace, who however, nearly all in their turn liave given me encouragement by their pa- tronage and smiles ! Yes, I have always been rigidly honest, in all my dealings. JJevil. — You were the bigger fool for that — [Imps point at Granny.] Q^ 3/. S, — Please Sir, if you are a gentleman, which you seem to be from external apjiearances, let me finish. Dedil. — {Looks at himself.'] Oh ! of course I am. limps point at devil and sniilc] Q. M. S. — I was going to say ; you nice refined (?) people, en- courage moderate tijipling, smoking and gormandizing in your fashionable temples of elite society, thereby you create an insatiate appetite for rum of the worst brands, and after your subjects, look, like myself, are perfect slaves to depraved appetites, you cast them out of your so-called good society, and for aught you care [Becomes eloquent.] they may starve, or go to hell, where you asked me to go ! Yes, and what can, or what shall such creatures do for a living, but to beconre double slaves ! Slaves to appetite, and slaves to those who have money to buy the vile stuff? [Imps act, as if to say : she is a brick.] I)eiHl.-^[Aside.] By my own stars, she is a trump ; I'll elevate her to the position of an imp ! Ha! ha! ha! [To her.] Bravely spoken like a heroine ! Go on Granny Snooks, I love to hear good rhetoric from one of my disciples ! G. M. /S'.— Thank you ! Devil. — You are perfectly welcome ! G. M. 8. — Can you blame honest, hard working people, like myself, for making a living ? Would it not be much worse had I robbed and cheated everybody, like your lazy politicians and pro- fessional men, and more lazy females do, who pretend to loathe my honest business, as much as you seemed to do, but who do not hesitate to commit numerous domestic crimes, with which you must be familiar, as you are the all-wise philosopher of the age ! [Dedil and Imps applaud and grin.] In conclusion, allow me to appeal to your generosity, by stating, that I did the best I could from infancy to the present day, and can you or any one else expect anything more from a saint ? DcihI. — Spoken like a modern preacher! You, my most pre- cious madam, have truly said that you did the best you could from infancy, I agree with you in that ! Ha! ha! ha! [Imps laugh.]^ I was there myself, with my faithful disciples — "Putrid Air;" ^'Filthy Water ;" "Gross Food ;" "Artificial Light," [Each Imp boics and spreads his wings as he is referred to by the Devil, all laugh with him.] and many others. Ha! ha! ha! 3^ The Devil's Kingdom. G. M. 8- — \Stares with amazement and drinks.l Why do you laugh so sarcastically ? Devil. — To think how well you reason ! What a powerful tal- ent for logic you possess ! Had you not l)een made a dyspeptic, when a brat of an infant, you might now plead your cause with torture and despair to myself and faithful disciples ; but we have been far more industrious than yourself to prevent you from star- vation ! Had it not been for us, you would not have had any Politicians, Nabobs, Millionaires, Gay Rakes, Fast Ladies nor Professors to patronize you ! G. M. 8. — [Desponding, drinks again.'l Oh! Fiend! Fiend! Devil. — Come, come, he decent in your remarks to me, and permit me to fmish. I did not stop you from completing your philosophical speech ! {^Sarcastically.'] G. M. S. — Go on, old beelzebub. limps point at him and smile.] Devil. — Shame ! for shame unto you, to abuse your life long, best friend, who has made and provided you v/ith the best of cus- tomers! Look yonder, once more, at your subjects — G. M. S. — Accursed — [Drifiks.] Devil. — That's you, go on ; you are in the right tone of mind ; your honest business, has taught you what is good for humanity, and what is good for humanity, is good for you ; and according to your deeds, not according to your words, must the science of earth and air reward you ! G. M. 8. — I have not been the cause of my own creation ! [Drinks more.'} Devil. — But you have encouraged others, even thousands of my innocent old cronies, [Points to gents on floor.] who had not even money, to drink and carouse, thereby you have fully earned a place in my little furnace, [Points below.] where fat fish fry easily! Ha ! ha ! ha ! [Imps laugh boisterously, Sfc] G. M. 8. — [Drinks.] Oh ! let me drown my sorrows, and once more forget myself. Devil. — Of course, drink on, but when you awake, you will be summoned from whence no sinner returns ! [Granny falls to the floor dead drunk. Scenes open. Th^ Devil now invites all his Imps, Sfc, to appear. The three per- formers on the floor are transformed by the Demons and by them taken in charge. Leading Imps make terrible leaps. GRAND INFERNAL DANCE. The Devil ascends to his throne. The dance goes on, getting more and more lively, whilst infernal apparatus, scenery, Sfc, are continually added, and appropriate changes take place, until the Devil rises on his throne and Descends.] Devil. — Awake ! awake, all ye Imps ! Awake all ye Demons ! [The actions of all his serfs are increased.] Awake! Arouse, all ye Victims ! and may you all drink the just reward of your meri- torious lives ! I say. Awake ! Ha ! ha ! ha ! ha ! [ Imps and De- mons join in gigantic laitghter, the most dolorous and horrid The Devil's Kingdom. 39 ii.olse'i (ire credted; additional horrors are added; fire, smoke, briiiixtone, thunder, §'c. are ma.Mng a soul luirrowing noise I All move back on the starje, descending into a fiery abyss; De- mons take Victims hack first, Common Imps go next, Leading ImpxfoUoic and the Devil last; then the Angelic Jiost enter, from xidex, tJi ro ugh fioor, from top, and make one vasthost of earthly and heamiiM/ angels, shutting out the Infernal Regions entirely. GRAND ANGEL DANCE. Transformation; ascending of Angels, &fc. Saints and Dr> Philosopher enter, after Angels ham partly ascended in Pyra- mids, ^'c, aM .strike tableau, lohen Dr. Philosopher speaks.'\ Dr. Phit.osopher.— Let all the earth rejoice, that the hour has arrived, when truth, though crushed, will rise again, and sway her sovereign power over all animated creation ! Therefore, ye that yet live, we implore you improve the time in the hour of youth, and rend asunder the bonds that hold the mil- lions in subjection to his demoniacal kingdom, when peace and good-will, will reign throughout the world ! [Transformation, Singing and Grand Tableau.'] THE END. Dr. S. M. Landis' New Printed Plays, TO STAR ACTORS, ACTRESSES AND MANAGERS OF THEATRES, DR. S. M. LANDIS, Author and Proprietor of the following Entirely Original Plays, oflers the same to '« Stars" and to Managers of Theatres. He will lease or sell these Plays, or, if desired, portray the ''Star" characters himself, viz : 1. The Great American Bi)ectacular Drama, entitled, THt2 DEVIL'S KINGDOM, as in this book. Dr. Landi? as the Devil. A lady can play this character. 2. The "Prophetic" War Drama, entitled, THE SOCIAL WAR OF 1900: or, THE CONSPIRATORS AND LOVERS. Five Acts and Ten Grand Tableaux. Dr. Landis as Dr. Victor Juno. A lady »*Star" as MiHif Lucinda Armington. 3. Tragic Tableau Comedy, entitled, LESSONS IN SEARCH OF GREATNESS; or, STEPPING DOWN THE LADDER. Four Intermissions and Fourteen Scenes. Each Scene closing with an Exciting Tab- leau. Dr. Landis as Simon Pure, Esq. 4. Stirring Comedy Drama, entitled, THE INSANE LOVER; or, FATE OF THE LIBERTINE, Three Acts and Seven Tableaux. Dr. Landis as lnsa?ie Loiter. 5. Soul- Ilarro icing Tragedy, entitled, THE FIEND; or, TORTURER OF INNOCENCE, Two Acts and Seven Tableaux. Dr. Landis as The Fiend. Address, DR. S. M. LANDIS, No. 13 N. Eleventh Street, Philadelphia, Pa. SPECIAL NOTICE.— Plays will be written to order for " Stars" of either sex, or for " Stock Companies." iM