COjPy l^'GHT . 1689, BY MAf^OLO ROOHBACH 3^00Vbac|)'sfulllie»cn;)tibc Catalogue of Dramas, Comedies, Comedieltas, Farces, Tableaux-vivants, Guide-books, Novel Entertainments for Church, School and Parlor Exhibitions, etc., containing conriplete and explicit information, will be sent to any addreif on receipt of a stamp for return postage. Address as above. ROORBACH'S AMERICAN EDITION. PRICE, 15 CENTS EACH. This series embraces the best of plays, suited to the present time. The reprints have been rigidly compared with the original acting copies, so that absolute purity of text and stage business v-, warranted. Each play is furnished with an introduction of the greatest value to the stage manager, containing the argument or synopsis of incidents, complete lists of properties and costumes, diagrams of the stage settings and practicable scene-plots, with the fullest stage directions. They are hand- somely printed from new electrotype plates, in readable type, on fine paper. Their complete introductions, textual accuracy, and mechanical excellence render these books far superior in every respect to all editions of acting plays hitherto published. 1. ALL THAT GLITTERS IS NOT (GOLD. A comic drama in two acts. Six male, three female characters. Time, two hours. 2. A SCRAP OF PAPER. A comic drama in three acts. Six male, six female characters. Time, two hours. 3. MY LORD IN LIVERY. A farce in one act. Five male, three female charac- ters. Time, fiftj' minutes. 4. CABMAN No. 93. A farce in one act. Two male, two female characters. Time, lorty minuces. 5. MILKY WHITE. A domestic drama in two acts. Four male, two female char- acter*;. Time, one hour and three quarters. 6. PARTNERS FOR LIFE. A comedy in three acts. Seven male, four female characters. Time, two hours. 7. WOO'DCOCK'S LITTLE GAME. A comedy-farce in two acts. Four male, four female characters. Time, one hour. 8. HOW TO TAME YOUR MOTHER-IN-LAW. A farce in one act. Four male, two female characters. Time, thirty-five minutes. 9. LADY AUDLEY'S SECRET. A drama in two acts. Four male, three female characters. Time, one hour and a quarter. 10. NOT SO BAD AFTER ALL. A comedy in three acts. Six male, five female characters. Time, one hour and forty minutes. 11. WHICH IS 'A^HICH ? A comedietta in one act. Three male, three female characters. Time, fifty minutes. 12. ICI ON PARLE FRANQAIS. A farce in one act. Three male, four female characters. I'ime, forty-five minutes. 13. DAISY FARM. A drama in four acts. Ten male,, four female characters. Time, two hours and twenty minutes. 14. MARRIED LIFE. A comedy in three acts. Five male, five female characters. Time, two hours. 15. A PRETTY PIECE OF BUSINESS. A comedietta in one .act. Two male, tliree female characters. Time, fifty minutes. . - . \,. i5. L2ND ME FIVE SHILLINGS. A farce in one act. Five male, two female cliaracters. Time, one hour. 17. UNCLE TOM'S CABIN.— Original Version. A drama in six acts. Fifteen male, seven female characters. Time, tliree hours. 18. UNCLE TOM'S CABIN.— New Version. A drama in five acts. Seven male, five female characters. Time, two hours and a quarter. 19. LONDON ASSURANCE. A comedy in five acts. Ten male, three female characters. Time, two hours and three quarters. 20' ATCHI ! A comedietta in one act. Three male, two female characters. Time, forty minutes. 21. WHO IS WHO ? A farce in one act. Three m:ile, two female characters. Time, forty minutes. 23. THE WOVEN WEB. A drama in four acts. Seven male, three female char- acters. Time, two hours and twenty minutes. '^^TAny 0/ {he abo7'C will he sent by jiieiil, />osi-/>iii({, to a»y dt/iiress, on rerrf/>f t\f the price/ HAROLD ROORBACH, Publisher, 9 Murray St.. New York. CABMAN NO. 93 OR FOUND IN A FOUR WHEELER A FARCE IN ONE ACT BY THOMAS J. WILLIAMS New American Edition, Correctly Reprinted from the Ori- ginal Authorized Acting Edition, with the Original Cast of the Characters, Synopsis of Incidents, Time of Representation, Description of the Costumes, Scene and Property Plots, Dia- gram OF THE Stage Setting, Sides of Entrance and Exit, Relative Posi- tions OF THE Performers, Expla- nation OF the Stage Direc- tions, ETC., AND ALL OF THE Stage Business. Copyright, 1889, by Harold Roorhach. J 7^/3/^ NEW YORK HAROLD ROORBACK PUBLISHER ^ \ CABMAN NUMBER 93. CAST OF CHARACTERS. Lyceum Theatre^ Dec, 20th, 1867. New Royalty Theatre^ April 24th^ 1866. Mr. Udolpho Holloway (a; retired Stockbroker^ a lover of the ' ' mysterious ' ' and ' ' sensational ' ' — ec- centric character part) Mr. Fred Hughes. Mr. Henry Thompson Joe Capsize {alias '■'■No. 97," driver of a Four- Wheeler — ist low comedy) Mr. J. Robins. Clara {Holloway' s Wife).. Miss Nellie Burton. MiLLY Meddlesome {^their Servant) Miss Annie Bourke Mr, John Nelson. Miss Nelly Burton. Miss Minnie Sydney. Time of Playing — Forty Minutes. SYNOPSIS OP INCIDENTS. Mr. Udolpho Holloway, who has retired from business, is a victim of the green-eyed monster and addicted to romances. In rummaging through his wife's purse to see how much change she had left, he dis- covers a cabman's ticket and memorandum of six shillings charge for three hours' cab-hire. His suspicions being aroused^ he resolves to seek the cabman and learn what Mrs. H. had been doing during these three hours, leaving word with the maid that he probably wont be home till morning. In the course of his absence, Joe Capsize, the cabman, enters, asks for a little private conversation with Mrs. Holloway, and returns to her a handsome red smoking cap that she had left in his cab the day before. At this moment Holloway returns, having forgotten his latch- key, and, seeing his wife in earnest confabulation with the identical cab- man, No. 93, and noting, further, the red smoking cap, conceals him- self behind the curtains, in the expectation that some fearful revelation is FOUND IN A FOUR-WHEELER, 3 at hand, and is rendered furious at the sight of his wife rewarding tlie cabman to return the cap to its owner — "a certain gent in a fuzzy coat " —who had been in the cab with Mrs. Hollow ay on the preceding day. It now occurs to Mr. Hollo way to "hook on behind" as the cab is driven to its destination, and so discover the owner of the red cap._^ He carries the idea into execution, but returns almost immediately in an extremely damaged condition, having been whipped oft' into the mud. Capsize now returns with a letter for Mrs. Holloway from the myste- rious unknown, but is intercepted by Holloway who recognizes him and bribes him to disclose Mrs. Holloway 's whereabouts oh the previous day— a disclosure that throws him into a convulsive frenzy. While he has temporarily retired, cabby delivers the letter to Mrs. Holloway who reads it aloud, orders the cab to drive her with all possible speed to " the ornamental villa," her destination of the day before, and retires to pre- pare for the journey. Holloway, who has overheard all, rushes in wildly, orders the* cabman to exchange garments with him, and an- nounces his intention, thus disguised, of personating* €apsize and him- self driving his wife to the appointed spot, to wreak his vengeance upon the usurper, commanding the cabman to remain and make himself com- fortable, meanwhile.. Mrs. Holloway now departs leaving Capsize to frighten the maid nearly out of her wits, but soon returns, the cab having been upset in the street, and Mr. Holloway hurried off to the lock-up for furious driving. After some parley, Mrs. Holloway learns what her spouse has been about, writes a few lines to him, which the cabman is directed to deliver, and starts off for her uncle's. Holloway now rushes in, in terrific excitement, exclaiming that having been let out on bail, he had driven frantically to the ornamental villa and found there the identical red smoking cap and a letter directed to his wife which he reads. Capsize then gives him Mrs. Holloway's note in which, after announcing that all is over between them and she has left him forever, on account of his unjust suspicions, she explains that her Uncle Tompkins, having returned from India with a large fortune, had purchased and furnished an ornamental villa as an agreeable surprise for him. It now dawns upon Holloway that the ' ' certain gent in a fuzzy coat ' ' and Uncle Tomkins are one and the same person, and while bewailing his own stupidity, he vents his rage and mortification vipon the officious cab- man. Mrs, Holloway now re-enters, having found the garden gate locked; and having been an unseen spectator of her lord's repentance, forgives him, confirming his conjecture about Uncle Tomkins. Hollo- way acknowledges the error of his ways, promises to reform and aban- don romances, while things wind up with a general reconciliation, and certain amatory professions and a bid for patronage on the part of Cab- man No. 93. COSTUMES. Holloway. — Fierce and exaggerated make up. Tremendous beard, whiskers, etc., frock coat, buttoned across, drab trousers, etc. Capsize. — Extra smart cabby make up. Loose great coat, with several capes, red neckerchief, light brown trousers, wide-awake hat, Welling- tons, whip, badge, etc. Clara. — Fashionable morning toilet. Bonnet, shawl, gloves, etc. Milly. — Very smart housemaid's dress. Cap, apron, etc. CABMAN NUMBER gj ; OR, STAGE SETTING. Door Soh Screen, ^"^'^"'"^ Dc^' /•TaiJeSChair _^ \ Boar ^AnnCJimr T^jork.,:. ^"^ J Table^ChaJrs Scene. — Fancy chamber set in 2 g. l. i e., door to street. L. 2 e., door opening upon garden. R. i E., door to Mr. Holloway's room. R. 2 E., door opening to the rest of the house. Window (double) C. in flat, with large curtains. Chair and small writing table with writing materials, R. Table, L,, with breakfast laid, and chairs R. and l. of it. Arm chair R. c. Large screen, with chair behind it, r. of window. Sofa near screen. Sideboard up L., bearing decanters (filled), glasses, etc. PROPERTIES. Furniture and appointments as per scene-plot. Curtains at window. Writing materials on table^ R. Breakfast and service on table, L. Bell, decanters (filled), glasses, etc., hat and cane on sideboard. Door-bell ofif L. I E. Light-blue smoking jacket, and coffee-pot, etc., on small tray, off R. I E. Purse containing money, ticket, watch and letter for HOL- LOW ay. Red smoking cap and sealed letter for cabman. Money in purse for Mrs. Hollo way, STAGE DIRECTIONS. The player is supposed to face the audience, R. means right; L. , left; C, center; R. c, right of center; L. C, left of center; I E., first entrance; 2 E., second entrance; i, 2 or 3 g., first, second or third grooves. UP STAGE, toward the back; down STAGE, toward the foothghts. R. R. C. C. L. C. L. Note. — The text of this play is correctly reprinted from the original authorized acting edition, without change. The introductory matter has been carefully prepared by an expert, and is the only part of this book protected by copyright. CABMAN NUMBER 93; OR, FOUND IN A FOUR-WHEELER. Scene. — An elegantly furnished Apartment on the ground fioor of Mr. Hollow ay's suburban residence. Enter Mr. Udolpho Holloway frojn bedrooin, K.^ierce and exaggerated make up — hair rather long — mysterious manner. — N. B. — He speaks throughout in jnelodramatic and ex- aggerated tones. Holloway. {glancing at breakfast table) Aha ! breakfast, I see. Breakfast, indeed ! {with a derisive laugh) ha ! ha ! I don't want any breakfast : figuratively speaking- I've had my breakfast, {mysteriously) Profiting by the continuance of my wife's slumbers, I thought I would just open her portmonnaie and pocket book to see how much small change she had got left out of the ten pound note I gave her yesterday. {i?npressively) What should I see among yesterday's expenses but the following startling entry : — " Three hours' cab, at two shillings per hour,' six shillings," Now, what could my wife want with three hours' cab ? When I left home yesterday morning, she never told me she was going out. Hum ! Suspicious ! very suspicious ! ex- tremely suspicious ! My olfactory nerves begin to be sensible of the presence of a rat. For some reason or other my wife had taken the driver's number, {producing cabman s ticket) Here it is — 93. There's something up ; I'm sure of it. {doubtfully) Shall I question my wife ? No ; women are so deceitful — besides, they never do it in the novels. I have it ! I'll instantly seek out 93, and inquire what Mrs. Clara Holloway was doing for three entire hours in a four-wheeler. I am naturally impetuous ! 6 CABMAN NUMBER gj; OR, impassionate ! impulsive ! and I can stand this uncertainty no longer. Aha ! Mrs. Clara Holoway, you little think I'm aware of your clandestine pilgrimage in a mysterious vehicle, (rings bell) This little piece of pasteboard (/^^y^/;?^ at ticket) may be the clue to some harrow^ing discovery ! Enter MiLLY MEDDLESOME, L. 1 E. Milly. Did you ring, sir ? Hollow. Tell your mistress when she wakes, I'm gone out for the day. Milly. But please, sir, you ain't had never no breakfast. Hollow. I know I haven't, [irritably) I'm not obliged to have breakfast unless I please, am I ? Milly. In course not, sir. {slily) I knows where you're agoing, sir. ■ Hollow, [starting) Eh ! what ? Milly. You're agoing to look for lodgings up in town, to please missus and me. Hollow, [surprised) That's your/rzV«/\zy. furiously with whip) Cap. {capering about in blue velvet jacket — roaring) Halloa! What are you about .? /aint pig's hair and frog's wool. Hollow, {abruptly) Beg pardon ! I was carried away by the warmth of an over-vivid imagination. Cap. {rubbing his arms — aside) By Jingo, I don't feel alto- gether comfortable with this here governor— he's such a rumbus- tical sort of a chap. Hollow, {fiercely) Meanwhile do you stay here, Joseph— don't budge till my return, Joseph— I leave you the run of the pantry, Joseph— eat, drink, stuff, cram, Joseph ! {roaring) Do you hear, Joseph ? Cap. {astounded) Well, I am Hollow. {continui7ig vehentently) You've rendered me a ser- vice, Joseph ! I approve of you, Joseph ! I adopt you, Joseph ! {with a burst of feeling) Come to my arms, Joseph ! Cap. {aside, struggling in Holloway' s arms, utterly overcome by the honor conferred upon him) Hob and nob with a reg'lar gen'lman ! here's a leg up ! Hollow, {puttittg on Capsize's wide awake, which is much too big for him, and comes right over his eyes) and now for the i6 CABMAN NUMBER gj j OR, scene of action. Ha ! ha ! my vengeance shall be startling, ferocious, implacable ! ( slashes Capsize with -whip as before) Cap. (dodging about alarmed) Vy, he's at it agin, {roaring) Halloa ! I say, stow it, vilyer ! Hollow, {abruptly) Beg pardon, my over vivid imagination again mistook {looking off) Aha ! the traitress comes ! Quick ! conceal yourself ; and now {with wild intensity) for the ornamental villa — ha ! ha ! Exit, wildly, L. i. E. Cap. {alone, rubbing his ami) I hope his over wivid imagi- nation won't mistake any more. I don't relish the* flavor o' my own vhipcord at all. {running to window and calling after hi?n) I say, don't you go lathering Bobby, you know ; he vunce vun a cup ! Halloa, here comes the missus — I'll just step behind that there screen. Enter Clara, r. i. e., bonnet, shawl, &^c., followed by Milly. Clara. Mind now, not a word to my husband. If he asks where I am gone tell him you haven't the slightest idea. Milly. All right, mum ; nobody never gets nothink out o' me. (running to window) Cabby's on his box. He's a stampin' his feet and a crackin' his whip, with all his might ! Clara. I hasten down at once. Milly. I'll come and see you safe in, mum. (aside) I'd give a week's wages to know where she's off to ! Exeunt Clara and Milly, l. i. e. Cap. (coi7ting from behitid screen) They're off. Well, this is a rum start ! Here am I in a genl'man's house, togged out in the gen'lman's own clothes with a hunlimited run o' the gen'l- man's cupboard — and there goes the gen'lman hisself on my box seat, a handlin' o' my reins and a flourishing o' my whip ! (approaching table) Howsomever, the mornin' air has guv me a wigorous happetite, the next thing is to see arter a little pro- vender ! {sitting down R. of table and pouritzg out coffee) I'll try a cup o' coffee and a ham sandvitch. (dririks) Prime beve- rage this — wery superior to the mokey I gets at the early break- fast stall at vun penny per pint, (eats ajtd drinks voraciously) Re-enter MiLLY, L. i E. Milly. (7tot seeing Capsize) Well, I can't make out what m'issus is up to (suddenly catching sight of Capsize and turning on a shrill scream) A — a — a — h ! Cap. {with his mouth full) Now then, young woman, what's the matter with j^«? Ain't you never seed a genl'man at break- fast afore ? Milly. (in increasing amazefnent) Well, I declare if it ain't conjurin' ! He's just gone off on his own box, and I finds him here a devourin* our purvisions, and in master's jacket too. FOUND IN A FOUR-WHEELER. 17 {coninnced) He's what they calls a wision — I knows he is ! (screaming) A — a — a — h ! Cap, [getting up) Hold your noise will you. I ain't a wision {eatiiig voraciously) I'm a gobbli7i\ Milly. [more and 7nore alarmed) He says he's a gobblin ! [screams) A — a — a — h ! Cap, Leave off screeching, will yer ; it's all right. I'm a friend of the governor's. Milly. [surprised) You a friend of the governor's ! Cap. Yes. I'm his Joseph — he's adopted me ! He's left me in possession like. I'm to have everythink I rekvires, and a pinch or two over. Milly. [astounded) Well, I never ! [struck by a sudden idea, in a tone ofprofound conviction) Why, then, it's master that's a driving ! Cap. You've just hit it, young woman, it is master ! The missus seems doing it up rayther brown, doesn't she t [suddenly catching sight of decanters on sideboard) I say, what have you got in them cut glass bottles, yonder ? [throws himself back in chair) Just hand 'em here will you .? Milly. [contemptuously) Shan't ! Cap. [rising) Shan't ! Milly. I ain't agoing to vait on a hupstart cabman ! Cap. (impressively) The guv'nor said as how you vas to obey my orders in the minootest partikler. [raising his voice) And I horders yer to fetch them cut glass bottles ! [roaring) Do you hear ? Milly. [alarmed) Well, I'm a fetching on 'em, ain't I ? [fetches decanters and glasses from sideboard, and places them, on breakfast table) Well, things is come to a pretty pass ! Cap. [satisfied) Ah, that's more like it ! [aside) She's a nice looking young party now I comes to look at her ! [aloud) Young woman ! (filling himself a glass of sherry) Joe Cap- size looks towards you, and at the same time sends you his respectful compliments ! Milly. (contejnptuously) Then Joe Capsize may keep his compliments to himself, for they ain't worth taking in ! [sits down, L. of table) Cap. [aside — a imiringly) Oh, ain't she down upon yer nay- ther ! Nov^^ I come to look at her she is a werry good lookin' young party ! (ahud, passing decanter) I say, young woman, let's be sociable ; help yourself, and pass the bottle ! Milly. [pours out glass of sherry — aside, pleased) There's something unden able pleasin' in his manners Cap. Ah, that's more like it ! I say, young woman, this must be a tidy sort of a place, (insinuatingly) Got anything in ihe savings bank, eh ? 1 8 CABMAN NUMBER gj ; OR, Milly. {complacently) Well, Mr. Cabman, p'raps I are got a little summat. Cap. (aside) Good looking, and summat in the savings bank — the wery creetur o' my dreams ! I'm tired o' drivin' up and down the vurld in single blessedness, and a vun 'oss wehicle. I'll just pitch it strong in this here kee-varter ! {aloud) I say, young woman, at what o'clock do you step out o' hevenin's to letch the family beer ! Milly. {coquettishly) That ain't no business o' yourn, Mr. Himperence. Cap. I axes the question with a view to paying yer my respectful addresses ! {edges his chair near to Milly) Milly. {aside) There certainly is somethink very faskinating about him. Cap. {drawiiig his chair close to MiLLY, insiftuatingly) I say now couldn't you accommodate us with a kiss ! {puts arin round her waist, and kisses her) Milly. (screaming) Ah — adone ! {aside, pleased) Oh, ain't he owdacious ! {violent ring heard at bell, L. — starting up) Good- ness gracious, that's missus's bell — drat it, she might ha' stopped out a little longer. Rtms off, L. i E. Cap. {rising) Vot a precious bore just as things was agoing so comfortable. Holloa ! {looking off) Here comes the missus — I must make myself scarce agin ! {steps behind screen) Enter Clara, l. i e., iji evident alami, followed by Milly. Clara. I do believe that cabman has gone stark staring raving mad. Milly. Why, what's the matter now, m'am ? (Capsize gets o?i chair, peeps over screen, and unseen by Clara, listens to what is going o?i) Clara, {iji great excitement) After driving me at break-neck speed through the streets, jolting against every conveyance we met, and alarming the foot passengers by his reckless behavior, a terrific crash suddenly ensues — we had come in contact with an enormous wagon ! Cap. {aside — his head peeping over screen) Eh ? Milly. {clasping her hands) Oh, gracious ! Clara, {continuing) The police hasten up, and the cabman and the four-wheeler are hurried off to the station house, horse and all ! Cap. {who has been listening with breathless interest, throws down screen with loud crash, jumps off chair, and rushes violently forward, exclaimi?tg) To the station house ! C\^x3.{s creaming) A-a-a-ah ! Why, there he is I Cap. {excited) Did you say Bobby was took to the station house. FOUND IN A FOUR-WHEELER. 19 Clara, {bewildered) Incomprehensible being ! Why, I left you not five minutes ago struggling in the hands of the police. {alarmed) But my husband is in his study — 1 will insist upon his interfering. Cap. Your husband ! {vexed) If my Bobby's gone to the sta- tion house, it strikes me your husband's gone along with him ! Clara, {bewildered) What does the fellow mean ? {alarmed) Tell me, tell me, where is my husband ? Cap. Veil, mum, if all you say is correct, he's what they call — in choker ! {imitating turning of key in lock) Clara, {overcome — aside) My husband in prison ! Oh, where, where ! I will fly to him instantly. {approachi7ig door) Cap. {stepping between C1.A.KA. and door) No, you don't; the guv'nor wouldn't approve on it. Clara, {indigtiantly) What means this insolence ? {calling loudly) 'Here, Milly ! Cap. {majestically) Milly, just hockipy yourself with 'ouse- hold dooties for a moment. I must have another private hin- terview with the missus ! Clara. (veheme7itly) Milly, obey your mistress ! Cap. Milly, obey your Joseph ! Milly, Please, mum, if you've no objection, {slily playing with her apron) I'll obey my Joseph, {aside — going) One can always get a place, but one can't always get a husband, so I obeys my Joseph ! Exit, L. Clara, {rubbijig her eyes) Am I really awake, or am I walking in my sleep ? {conteinplati7ig Capsize) How is it I find you here enveloped in my husband's garments } Cap. {knowingly) For the same reason that your husband was a-driving my cab enweloped in my waterproof! Clara, {struck by a sudden idea) Ah, I see it all. He evi- dently suspects Cap. {knowingly) I should rayther think he did. And when he comes back — {impressively) Now, mind, I don't wish to cause you no unnecessary uneasiness, but you've heard o' Blue- beard ? {passes his hajid across his throat) Cr-r-r-k. {ties an ijnaginary knot under left ear, in grotesque iinitation of hang- ing) Cou — ic ! That's what's in store ior you, I can tell you ! Clara, {alarmed — half crying) Oh, this is too much ! I'll leave the house — I'll take refuge at my uncle's, {abruptly) Here, take this purse, {Producing purse) and let me go ! Cap. {starts, astounded) A purse ! Clara, {placing herself at writitig- desk and writing hur- riedly) I will just write a few lines to my husband and quit this place forever. Cap. {examining purse) A five-pun' flimsy ! it is, by Jingo ! {completely altering his manner) Oh, this bangs the guv'nor all 20 CABMAN NUMBER gs ; OR, to shivers ! I'm all for the ladies agin. I'm sorry for the guv'- nor, but why didn't he give me more ? {crossing to door, L. i E.) Here you are, missus ! There ain't no resisting lovely woman. Mum's my maxim, and a drop o' the right sort's my sentiments — so step it at vunce, vile I looks the t'other way. Clara, [who has tneanwhile hastily written and folded up letter) Give this to my husband when he returns — tell him that all is over between us — that I leave his house forever. Cap. I'll tell him, ma'm. {aside) It will just about suit the guv'nor's book, I fancy. Milly. {at window) Oh, please, mum, here's master come back again ! Clara, {hurriedly) Ah ! he must not find me here. Milly. Quick, ma'm, down the back garden, and through the little gate — I'll come and open it for you ! Clara, {at door) That my husband should have dared to sus- pect me ! Oh, 'tis horrible — atrocious ! Exit, L. 2 E. Cap. {hastily stopping Milly as she is about to follow her mistress) Gammon* her to leave you summat ! Milly. {eagerly) Her welwet mantilla and last new bonnet ! Cap. {hastily) Ah ! and a pair or two of kid boots, with mil- itary heels. Milly. {hastily) All right — leave it to me ! Exit after Clara, l. 2 E. Cap. {rtibbing his ha^ids, and singing) Tol-di-rol-de-rid- dle-rol ! Things continues on the rise — I'm on the high road to fortin ! {looking round) Veil, vere's the guv'nor ! {looking out of window) Halloa ! why, there's Bobby, four-vheeler, and all ; vy, the poor animal's all of a lather ! Enter Holloway, rushing in, in a state of terrific excitement, wearing Capsize's coat, wide-awake, Qr^c, L. i E. Holloway. {wildly — whip in hand) I'm out on bail ! the mis- creants arrested me for furious driving ! Cap. [eagerly) But vot have yer diskivered ? Hollow. Listen ! profiting by the confusion, my wife escaped, but the moment I had burst my bonds, at it I went again — I drove frantically to the ornamental villa ! Cap. {suggestively) In the Sviss style o' harchitectur. 'Hollow, iifnpatiently) Never mind the style of architecture. {continuing) I found nobody there but a deaf old charwoman. I enter the parlor — what should I perceive but this identical smoking cap on the table, {producifig cap from pocket) with this note addressed to Mrs. Clara Holloway ! {reading) " Since I wrote this morning, I have been suddenly summoned to the country, but all is now ready ; accept my offering as a slight token of the sincere affection I have ever felt for you." {speaking FOUND IN A FOUR-WHEELER. 21 bitterly) That's pleasant, isn't it ? [reading) " Many thanks for the smoking cap — it isn't quite big enough — oblige me by letting it out a little." {mechanically putting on smoking cap, and flattening it down on his head) Now, what do you say to that ? Cap. {jnechatiically takingup wide-awake which HOLLOWAY has laid on table, and puttijig it on in imitation of Hollo way) Say, vy I say it's haddin' insult to hinjury. {aside) It's as well to keep the pot bilin'. {aloud, mysteriously) But, I say, governor, I've been at vurk for you ! Hollo-w. {eagerly) You have — ha, ha ! Say on — my trusty charioteer, say on ! Cap. islily holding out his hand) Mum's my maxim, and a drop o' tne right sort's my sentiments ! HoUo-w. {alarmed) Mysterious individual, what do you want now ? Cap. {facetiously twiddlittg his fingers) A hall himportant revelation is a-coming ! {imitating moutitebatik balancing pole) Vun halfpenny more, and hup goes the hanimal ! Hollow, {alarmed) The fellow's a positive vampire ! {im- ploringly) Do you, peradventure, require my boots — my necktie — my india-rubber braces ! Cap. No! my hexpectations is moderate ! {with extreme play- fulness) I vants a vatch ! Hollow, {starting indignaiitly) You vants a vatch ! Cap. {holding out his hand) I rekvires a ticker — hand over your chronometer, and I'll tell you summut as vill make yer spin round and round with joy and satisfaction ! Hollow, {aside — surprised — conviticed) He must have made some most important discovery — this suspense is unendurable. {giving watch) There, take it, but tell me all — do you hear ? All! Cap. {aside — pocketing watch) That's the time o' day ! {tnys- teriously) Veil, then, I've got rid of her for you ! Hollow, {starting) Got rid of whom ? Cap. {cojitinuing jnysteriously) The missus ! Hollow. Got rid of my wife ! Cap. {impressively) For good and all. She won't never come back no more. Here's a letter she left for you. I dare say it's her vill. Hollow, {snatching letter — reading hastily) " Sir, all is over between us. You have mortally offended me." (laughing bitterly) Ha ! ha ! /'ve offended her. Come, that's a good joke, that is. {reading) " But before leaving I owe you a full explanation. My uncle Tomkins " — {speaking surprised) Eh! didn't know she had an uncle Tomkins — {reading) " has returned from India with a large fortune. Desirous of making you at once a handsome 22 CABMAN NUMBER gj j OR, present and an agreeable surprise he lately purchased at St. John's- wood an ornamental villa." Cap. {interrupting) In the Sviss style of architecture. Hollow, {roaring) The devil take the style of architecture. {overcoj)ie) Then it was only an uncle ! Good gracious ! then 1 have been and gone and done it. [falls into arm-chair) Cap. {alterifig Dianner) You have, and no mistake ! 1 wouldn't be in your shoes for a trifle, [aside) The gray mare will vin the race, I can see ! Hollow, [imploringly) But how was J to know it was an uncle } Cap. [7najes tic ally) Yer ought to ha' guessed it ! Hollow. [sudde7ily recollecting) But where's my wife ? my innocent, much-wronged Clara ? Cap. {pathetically) Clara's gone. Clara won't never come back no more, [throwiri^ hiinself comfortably into chair) It ain't to be expected ! Hollow, [roaring wildly) Wretch ! what have you done with her ? Cap. Halloa ! [springs bolt off' chair in alarm) Hollow, [continuing bitterly) Ah ! it serves me right for ever making a confident of a low-born stableman ! Cap. [indignantly) Stableman ! Now don't get calling names, you know. Hollow, {frantic) Give me back my money ! Restore me my watch ! Cap. Not if I knows it. [with tremeiidous dignity) It serves yer right for suspecting a hinnocent, hunoffending female. Hollow, {wildly) Ha, ha ! taunted by the very instrument of my barbarity ! Scoundrel! take that ! {fitches into Qh^'&iZY. with whip) Cap. {running away) Holloa ! [shouting) Here, I say. He's a-bilin' over again — murder ! Enter MiLLY, running, L. 2 E. Milly. [rushing wildly between them) Oh, sir, spare my husband what is to be ! Hollow, [furious) Spare him ! Never ! Revenge ! Ha ! ha ! [rushes after CAPSIZE ; in so doing runs against arm-chair, which falls over ; Capsize ru7is rou?id table shouting " Murder! " hotly pursued by Holloway, roaring) Revenge 1 revenge ! Ha ! ha ! Milly. [wildly) Oh ! gracious goodness ! he's a man-slaughter- in' o' my Joseph ! [screams) A — a — a — ah ! Cap. [rushijig to MiLLY a7id taking shelter behind her) Here, Milly, keep him off, will yer ; he's out of his mind. Hollow, [brandishing whip aud roaring) Where's my wife t FO UND IN A FO UR- WHEELER. 23 Enter, during last words, Clara, l. 2 e. Hollow, {suddenly perceiving her) Why, there she is ! throws away luhip j ifi crossing to Clara he runs violently against table, which upsets with all the breakfast things — loud crash) Cap. {shouting) There goes the s'perior mokey ! Hollow, {throws himself on his knees before Clara) Pity — pardon — excuse — forgive ! It was all a mistake ! Clara, {scarcely able to refrai7t from laughing) It's lucky for you, sir, the garden gate was locked ! Hollow. Locked ! {aside) True ; I've got the key in my pocket. Clara, {continuing) Had it not been for this fortunate imped- iment I should have been already far hence. As it is, sir, con- cealed behind yonder door, I have been an unseen spectator of your repentance. Rise, sir ; I forgive you ! Hollow, {half blubbering) But why didn't you tell me it was an uncle f Clara. Because at the time of our marriage my uncle had been compelled by a series of mercantile disasters to leave the country Cap, {interrupting illustratively) Vot they calls, " under a cloud ! " - Clara, [continuing) But a brilliantly successful speculation has restored him to his original position in society, and his pres- entation of the villa, and introduction to yourself, were to have taken place on one and the same auspicious occasion ! Hollo'w. {angrily) Ass that I am ! I've been mixing up fact and fiction, romance and reality ! I'll give up the " sensational" and stick to Martin Tupper ! Cap, {patronizingly , to Clara) But it's all right ; he won't never do it no more. 7'11 be responsible for him. Hollow. You {suddenly remembering) perhaps you'll return me my property — {they exchange coats again — each putting on his own), Clara. Nay let him keep the watch — you deserve to forfeit something, sir, for suspecting your affectionate wife, {taking her husbajtd's arm) To morrow we'll call on Uncle Tomkins, with the smoking cap. Milly. {slily) Please, mum, does it stand good about the welwet mantilla and other harticles ? Clara. Of course, {laughing) This happy reconciliation must not prejudice the promise I made you. Cap. {to Milly) Then all's veil that ends veil ! I've drove *em right after all ! {to Milly) I'll vistle a popular air outside the area gate this evening ;— and, I say, ladies and gentl'men, {to 24 CABMAN NUMBER gj. audience) if ever you vants a fast vun 'oss wehicle, ekal to a bruffem (brougham), vith a confidential driver, vot never says nothink to nobody, and always refuses anythink over his fare, vy, don't forget Joe Capsize, No. 93. [playfully) You'll give us a turn, now and then ? I'll take you safe, sound, and satisfactory, and shall alvays " set you down " as the most wallyable harticles Joe Capsize ever " found " in his " Four-wheeler ! " Cap. Hollow. MiLLY. Clara. CURTAIN. NEW ENTERTAINMENTS. THE JAPANESE WEDDING. A costume pantomime representation of the Wedding Ceremony in Japanese high life. The company consists of the bride and groom, their parents, six bridesmaids, and the officiating personage appropriately called the " Go-between." There are various formalities, including salaams, tea-drinking, eating rice-cakes, and giving presents. No words are spoken. The ceremony (which occupies about 50 minutes), with the " tea-room," fills out an evening well, though music and other attractions may be added. Can be represented by young ladies alone, if preferred. Price, 25 Cents. AN EVENING WITH PICKWICK. A Literary and Dramatic Dickens Entertainment. — Introduces the Pickwick Club, the Wardles of Dingley Dell, the Fat Boy, Alfred Jingle, Mrs. Leo Hunter, Lord Mutanhed and Count Smorltork, Arabella Allen and Bob Allen, Bob Sawyer, Mrs. and Master Bardell, Mrs. Cluppins, Mrs. Weller, Stiggins, Tony Weller, Sam Weller, and the Lady Traveller. Price, 25 cenfs. AN EVENING WITH COPPERFIELD. A Literary and Dramatic Dickens Entertainment. — Introduces Mrs. Copperfield, Davie, the Peggotys, the Murdstones, Mrs. Gummidge, Little Em'ly, Barkis, Betsey Trotwood, Mr. Dick and his kite, Steerforth, the Creakles, Traddles, Rosa Dartle, Miss Mowcher, Uriah Heep and his Mother, the Micawbers, Dora and Gyp, and the wooden-legged Gatekeeper. Price, 25 cents. These " Evenings with Dickens " can be represented in whole or in part, require but little memorizing, do not demand experienced actors, are not troublesome to pre- pare, and are suitable for performance either on the platform or in the drawing room. THE GYPSIES' FESTIVAL. A Musical Entertainment for Young People. Introduces the Gj^psy Queen, Fortune Teller, Yankee Peddler, and a Chorus of Gypsies, of any desired number. The scene is supposed to be a Gypsy Camp. The costumes are ver)"^ pretty, but simple ; the dialogue bright ; the music easy and tuneful ; and the drill movements and calisthenics are graceful. Few properties and no set scenery required, so that the entertainment can be represented on any platform. Price, 25 cents. THE COURT OF KING CHRISTMAS. A CHRISTMAS ENTERTAINMENT. The action takes place in Santa Claus land on Christmas eve, and represents the bustling preparations of St. Nick and his attendant worthies for the gratification of all children the next day. The cast maj' include as many as 36 characters, though fewer will answer, and the enter- tainment represented on a platform, withoiit troublesome properties. The cos- tumes are simple, the incidental music and drill movements graceful and easily managed, the dialogue uncommonly good, and the whole thing quite above the average. A representation of this entertainment will cause the young folks, from six to sixty, fairly to turn themselves inside out with delight, and, at the same time, enforce the important moral of Peace and Good Will. Price, 25 cents. RECENTLY PUBLISHED. ILLUSTRATED TABLEAUX FOR AMATEURS. A new series of Tableaux Vivatits^ by Martha C- Weld. In this series each description is accompanied with a full-page illustration of the scene to be represented. PART I. — MISCELLANEOUS TABLEAUX.— Contains General Introduction, 12 Tableaux and 14 Illustrations. Price, 25 Cents. PART II.— MISCELLANEOUS TABLEAUX.— Contains Introduction, 12 Ta- bleaux and 12 illustrations. Price, 25 Cents. SAVED FROM THE WRECK. A drama in three acts. E^ght male, three female characters. Time, two hours and a half. Price, 15 Cents. BETWEEN TWO FIRES. A comedy-drama in three acts. Eight male, three ff-male chancters. Time, two hours and a half. Price, 15 Cents. BY FORCE OF IMPULSE. A drama in five acts. Nine male, three female character-:. Time, two hour's and a half. Price, 15 Cents. A LESSON IN ELEGANCE. A comedy in one act. Four female characters. Time, thirty minutes. Price, 15 Cents. WANTED, A CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. A farce in one act. Six male characters. Time, thirty minutes. Price, 15 Cents. SECOND SIGHT. A farcical comedy in one act. P'our male, one female charac- ter. Time, one hour. Price, 15 Cents. THE TRIPLE WEDDING. A drama in three acts. Four male, four female characters. Time, one hour and a quarter. Price, 15 cents. ^^^ Any of the above will be sent by inail^ postpaid, to any address^ on receipt of the annexed prices. „.^ \ HAROLD ROORBACH, Publisher, 9 Murray St.. New York. LIBRARY OF CONGRESS HELMER'S ACTOR'S MAKE-UP 7'"^Yr5^^^^^ jl Proftical and Systematic Guide to the Art e/ Making u/> J'jr the Stag*^\ PRICE, 25 CENTS. With exhaustive treatment on the Use of Theatrical Wigs and Beards, The Make-up and its requisite materials, the different features and thf,ir management, typical character. Masks, etc. With Special Hints to Ladies, Designed for the USE OF Actors and Amateurs, and for both Ladies and Gentle- men. Copiously Illustrated. CONTENTS. L Theatrical Wigs. — The Style and Form of Theatrical Wigs and Beards. The Color and Shading of Theatrical Wigs and Beards. Directions for Measuring the Head. To put on a Wig properly. n. Theatrical Beards. — How to fashion a Beard out of crepe hair. How to make Beards of Wool. The growth of Beard simu- lated. HL The Make-up. — A successful Character Mask, and how to make it. Perspiration during performance, how removed. IV. The Make-up Box. — Grease Paints. Grease paints in sticks; Flesh Cream; Face Powder; How to use face powder as a liquid cream ; The various shades of face powder. Water Cos- in6tique. Nose Putty. Court Plaster. Cocoa Butter. CrSp6 Hair ard Prepared Wool. Grenadine. Dorin's Rouge. "Old Man's"' Rouge. /'Juvenile" Rouge. Spirit Gum. Email Noir. Bear's Grease. Eyebrow Pencils. Artist's Stomps. Powder Puffs. Hares* Feet. Camels'-hair Brushes. V. The Features and their Treatment. — The Eyes: blind- ness. The Eyelids. The Eyebrows : How to paint out an eyebrow or moustache ; l\o\