ys ; 635 J) ^ ±irir >py 1 E WITT'S" Acting Plays. FRICE IS CENTS. DE WITT'S ACTING PLAYS. (Number 318) A SINGLE MARRIED MAN. Comic Opei^etta^ in One Act. The Music selected from the most popular Melo- dies in Offenbach's celebrated Opera Bouffe, ''MADAME L'ARCHIDUC," And the Libretto written and adapted from the French, By ALFRED B. SEDG^VICK, A uthor of '' Circumstances A Iter Cases,'" " Estranged,^' " My Walkinr/ Photof/raph," " The Twin Sisters,''^ " The Queerest Courtship,'" " Sold Aya'iii and Got the Money,''' etc., etc. TOGETHER WITH A. description ot the Costumes— Synopsis of the Piece— Cast ol the Chaxacteis — Entarances and Exits— Relative Positions of the Performers oc the Stage, and the whole of the Stage Business, ^lels- £0rk : DE WITT, PXTBLISHER, Vo, 33 Hose Street. No\r READY 1 PLAYS, AND "S Plots, Costum f tion, mailed f: COMPLETE DESCRIPTIVE CATALOGUE OF DE WITT'S ACTING DE WITT'S ETHIOPIAN AND COMIC DRAMAS, containing Costume. Scenery, Time of Representation, and every other infonc-*^ ree and post-paid. DE WITT'S ACTING PLAYS, 1 ^" Please notice that nearly all the Comedies, Farces and Comediettas in the foUowinff ^ist o/De Witt's Acting Plats" are very sxutahlefor representation in small Amateur Thea- tres and on Parlor Stages, as they need but little extrinsic aid from complicated scenery or expensive costumes. They have attained their desei^ed popularity by their droll situations^ excellent plots, great humor and brilliant dialogues, no less than by the fact thai they are the m^et perfect in every respect of any edition of plays ever published either in the United States or Europe, ivhether as regards purity of the text, accuracy and fulness of stage directions and tcenery, or elegance of typography and clearness of printing. *if* In ordenng please copy the figures at the com,7ner^em£nt of each piece, which indicate the number of the piece in "De Witt's List of Acting PLArs." l^- Any of the following Plays sent, postage free, on receipt of price — 15 cents each. 1^" The figure following the name of the Play denotes the number of Acts. The figures in the columns indicate the number of characters — M. male ; P. female. No. M. p. 75. Adrienne, drama, 3 acts 7 3 114. Anything for a Change, comedy, 13 3 1&7. Apple Blossoms, comedy, 3 acts — 7 3 93. Area Belle (The), farce, 1 act 3 2 40. Atchi, comedietta, 1 act 3 2 80. Aunt Charlotte's Maid, farce, 1 act. . 3 3 192. Game of Cards (A), comedietta, 13 1 16ti. Bardell ??. J ybk-i SERVANTS. ' _ ^ 0^0^^ Omelet, the French cook. \ ^ ^ JOHN, the hostler. ( ^^^^^^^ / William, the groom. i Henry, the butler. ; TIME IN REPRESENTATION-FIFTY MINUTES. LOCALITY.— A country village near New York. SCENERY. SCENE.— Garden with shrubbery. ... 1 ,~^ 1 Door. French Window. Sofa. *0* Window. Table and Chairs. Door. Table and Chairs. ' J^° O o o o ooooooooooooooo COSTUMES. Ardent.— Gentleman's walking suit, hat, cane, gloves. Sam Double. — Plain livery. Emily.— Lady's genteel travelling dress. Grace.— 1st dress, neat summer costume. 2d dress, walking suit, hat, shawl, etc. Omelet.— White dress, white cap, white apron. The othep. Servants.- Plain livery. PROPERTIES. Key and marriage certificate for GRACE; legal paper, napkin and plates for Sam; tray with dinner tablecloth, wine decanters and glasses etc., for OMELET and servants, also dusting brushes and cloths. TMP9 6-007 332 A SINGLE MARRIED MAN. SYNOPSIS. Sam Dottble is the coufldential servant of Mr. Ardent Leslie, a man of proper- ty, who has lately married au heiress. A lady's man all his life, Mr. Leslie has a decided objection to mari'iage and married men, unless indeed, as in his case, the ceremony is accompanied by a fortune. He has therefore forbidden all his servants to marry, Sam especially, as knowing too many of his secrets, under penalty of dis- missal. But Sam has secretly married Grace, the village belle, and is of course obliged to conceal the fact, Mr. Leslie falls in love with her, and hence numer- ous comic complications arise. EXPLANATIOK OF THE STAGE DIRECTIONS. The Actor is supposed to face the Audience. T>. n. c. c. D. D. L, c. B. 3e. / SCENE. L. U. E. \ R. 2e. R. 1 E. / L. 3e. \ / L. 3 E. \ / R. R. C. C. L. C. AUDIENCE. L. 1 E. C. R. R. C. R. 1 E. R. 2 E. R. 3 E. R. U. E. D. R. C. Centre. Right. Right Centre. Riglit First Entrance. Riglit Second Entrance. Right Third Entrance. Rig|it Upper Entrance. Door Riglit Centre. L. Left. l. c. Left Centre. L. 1 E. Left First Entrance. l. 2 E. Left Second Entrance. L. 3 E. Left Third Entrance. l. u. e. Left Upper Entrance. c. D. Centre Door. D. l. c. Door Left Centre. A SII&LE MAPtEIED MAI, SCENE. — A handsome parlor with French windows, c, looking on garden, shrubbery, etc. Doors, practicable, r. and l., 1st entrances. Another door, also practicable, r. 2d e. Tables, chairs, sofas, etc. As curtain rises, John and other serva?its are discovered arranging and dusting furniture. Chorus.— Oil ! now droll it is to serve, etc. r-,-»: >^-^ h4= ^ --FF — ^-F — ^ ^ mfAndantino. I ■^- --^^ # :g|^ :g=2^=r^: i :?T=:"i=c=r - - — - — ,- V — IT — I E^E^=feSS=S=] ce7i - - do. f SiiLi i. .^z:.^^ ^ ^ -«. ^ J: ^5:^^ fP «-n r#— *— -^-,; -— r— ziz?— -i:tE=£=,t=^=|^^ziizizt— ^-p O'er Ills couscieuce if there be A pret-ty maiden near to see. -^-«-« = :^__ff v^i=.~j^J: t- z?z-E=Fr— r— ?— 3z:tz=zzi!?=:S ;irl he mee 'mm Six weeks married yet we see him Flirt - ing with each girl he meets 1 — - — fe* ,^- ,-^ti_*_-.t-_i_«. >i Irgere. SilE^tE -ff f * 0- V — ^- -N— N- N— N- ;^-^z:fc=n=:iEhz:zn--E±.=:^l=yi=t -y— y— y -y— y- Yet no one can e'er de - ny That with re-spect his wife he ^m feg[^ Poco rit. 9::i=?=^=S=E?==S=E?^=!;iEE!=g A SINGLE MARBIED MAN. N N ■-^-V ^ l==i^^^: g-^-y— y— y- treats. What a flirt, Ha ! ha ! What a flirt. Ha ! ha ! PP hgcre. , .* 9-e^tt. ^Eg ^ ^g^^g^ — O * — 0- ^—v—\i^ — y— y- Ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! What a flirt, Ha! ha! What a flirt, Ha! ha! legere. N ^ N ^ ^ ^ -N ifiz:?: V V . [> r\ n Pi 1^ J^ -r-> I I ' _^ J Hal ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! What a / anime. ^ ___ _^ _^ _h -N ->, _N -N 1^ 1,'^ i"" N S ; flirt, what a flirt, what a flirt, Ha ! ha ! ha ! ha! ha ! ha ! ha! ha ! ha ! ha ! What a A SINGLE MARRIED MAN. ^ ^ -ff — i — ^ — p\-^ — «—#-+-! is ;^i flirt. What a flii-t, What a flirt. t—r^^k^—trf-^t:^^ . m p^^p p-rF w—^ — 9 r' — -^ n «— 2-€ -,.^_.K1- |lpgE!E^^^£n^E=|i||ii^5£| -^ .-* -n zr Sam {speaking without, after chorus). Certainly madam, .you may- rely on nie. And I trust that you may enjoy your ride, {crack of whip outside. Servants look sirjnificanthf at each other, then exeunt softly, laughing, door, l., 2d entrance. Soft music. Latter part of chorus resumed softly.) pp II tempo stesso. {Till Servants well off and Sam on.) Enter Sam, from garden, l. c. Sam. So far, so good. Smack goes the whip, and away go they ! And so, away go I now, to seek my dear Grace, {goes toward door, r. c, 1st E. ) Enter Ardent Leslie, r. c. He is dressed i7i genteel walking suit. Hat, gloves, etc. Ardent. Sam ! Is that my dearest wife that has just driven off ? Sam (sta7-tiug). Ye-yes, sir. {aside) Where the deuce did you starf: up from? {aloud) She lias gone on a visit to her mother, and as it is but two or three miles from here, she will soon reach her destination. Ard. Yes; I remember now. I think she said that should be away about three days— did she not ? Sam {bowing). About that long, sir. 8 A SINGLE MARRIED MAN, Aed. Ah ! Sam ! What a lovely woman my wife is. Marriage has not in the least cooled my love for her ! Sam. Can it be possible? And a gentleman of your temperament, too. Are you really still in love with her, sir ? Ard. Oh, yes, yes. {unconcernedly) 1 really think I dote on her. And {yan^ning) cfuring the dreary six months that we have passed in this stupid place, just for the sake ot being near my mother-in-law — I really Sam. Six months, sir! Why you have only been married six Aed. Six weeks ! Is that so ? .Why, dear me, so it is ! You're right, Sam ! But time has passed so rapidly— my happiness is so complete— {again yaivn'mg) every day I discover new graces— new virtues in her. {breakimj off) By the way, Sam, has the bay mare been looked after ? Sam, Yes, sir. And is now almost well. Ard. Tiiat's good. But as I was saying of my wife. She is so af- fectionate, so loving. With what reluctance she left me for even three days. Heigho ! I know it's hard to part, but upon my word, I think I could have summoned fortitude to have spared her for ten, if it would have contributed to her happiness, {coldly) I never think of my marriage but with delight. Sam. Yes, sir. And I'm convinced, that your marriage has con- tributed to the happiness of many other men ! Aed. {rather pleased). Why you don't say so? What do you mean? {^AM 2)retends to look sedate) Ah ! yes ! I was always a favorite with the ladies. ^na— Ardent. {During song S^si fidgets behind Ardents hack.) Moderato. il^^EE^^i^telEgl^^ Dolce. ^mm^mwmi Mmm=i=\ Al - ways a fav - 'rite ifiit Rallent. IeI^P ; f ^ ^ :!=-.: # — •: A SINGLE MARRIED MAN. You see ! All the girls where I go, That's me ! You see ! All the girls could Jt- -0-^ •J — #_«_-■ t^— I — J- — ^— > S— JS — Jmlizfzzr -0 — h ^ h- tell you so, If so free I Tliey would be ! Pret - ty coax - ers ^If — « — ? — • I r _ • — • — ±:_I \-. , j C i- #-• '-^ ._^-_K— N- round me clinging — "Won't let me go 1 No, no, no, no ! Fruit and flowers #-».,-f:^niti;_t:.. £=EtfeEEEKfeE£E^: * * ^— Ei?^ V — - ev - er bring -ing, That's so! _2 lI- cen - do do. ^t- I rit piu rit. 10 A SINGLE MAKEIED MAN. Yes, in deed I am!^ Yes, in-deed I am! All the la -dies tell me so! — t— y 5— P ^— '^i^^ » f ;-+ =SE^_^^EE^EE.gE^EEE?E?EEp?E5Et=] Yes, in-deed I am ! Yes, iu-deed I am ! Of the la - dies I'm the beau ! -*— ' — ' — • — : — t* ■ — I — F tffl->— # — « — ^— F« — ^— =^ ,^ vi/ y -*• . T f T ■--- m-^- /T\ /^ -TN J i A SINGLE MARKIED MAN. ,^. H I ^ . , :=eI Yes, I'm the beaul w — -^ |_^ff_*_,«_«.-^^_ff_ff_ff_^s_ff ^m^0 ^^ ;j^'^g/-:?— fr^r-r-rT-H-r-r-r-^r- W — ^-^ ^ ^ ^ff^^ — , — -»/•/•,-, ff __^ — ^ 1 — L0 — ^Ji_. — . L0 — ,Ji^ — -^a—g ^fi—« iJ 'F* Aed. (q/Ver S07ig). Ah ! Sam ! those days are passed and gone. I am an altered man. But how heavily the time will be sure to hang around me. during the absence of my dear Emily. Sam. Suppose you follow after, (aside) How can I possibly get rid of him? Ard. Why, so I might. But, then, you know it would look so sj^oonej'. Besides, there's my mother-in-law. {makes a grimace.) Sam. Well, sir ! Then suppose you stroll into the village ; it's a lovely afternoon. A ED. That's a capital idea ! Yes ! stroll into the village ! Admire the beauties of nature ! Eh? Sam. Yes, sir ; admire the rural beauties of nature ! Aed. Egad ! I think I will ! and Sam— as I have my latch-key, no one need sit up. Sam (obsequiotishj). Oh ! Sir ! Shall not I ? Ard. On the contrary. As you have always been so faithful a ser- vant, I mean to give you a trial. I think it quite possible, that is in fact, I shall take the cars as far as New York, and therefore, in my ab- sence, I leave you sole control of this house. Do what you like ; you are master of it till I come back. Sam. And of the eatables and drinkables as well, sir ? Aed. Certainly. Only I ask you to take especial care, that the im- provements my darling wife suggested, shall be carried out before her return, (Sam bo2vs) Otherwise, your time is your own. As for me, I will now indulge in a solitary stroll, midst shady nooks, (lackadaisi- cally ) where calm and philosophical reflection will help me pass away the time till Emily is once more home. [^Exit, c. d. Sam {looking after hiin). Calm and philosophical reflection ! Yes ; I know all about that ! But so much the better for me ! My situation here, isn't worth half as much as when Ardent Leslie was a single man. There are no secrets to hide ! No clandestine letters to be car- ried ! But, then, he has promised me the supervision of his estates. I am to be his steward, as he calls it ! But that's not a bad idea about his leaving me in sole charge of this house. I bet Til have a time. Larder! Wine-cellar! Coach! Horses! Egad! it will drive my little Grace out of her wit^. I wonder where she can be? I hope Mr, Ardent won't meet her in his "calm and philosophic rambles!" I should go crazy if he did. To think that I'm married and don't dare let any one know it. He has strictly forbidden marriage on the part of any of his domestics, and most especially in my case. He says I 12 A SINGLE MARRIED MAN. know too many of his secrets. And should I marry, that instant I am to be dismissed. Then good-bye to pickings and stealings ! Good- bye, stewardship ! No, no ! I daren t tell him. I daren't even see my wile, except on the sly. However, this is a lucky daj', and as both he and Mrs. Leslie are absent. 1 can aiibrd my dear little wife a dear little treat. Oh ! I wish she'd come. Now, if any one was to hear me, I wonder if they would really believe that it is only my own wife I am so anxious about. SONG.— Sam Double. A ndantino. -^-^ -N- Abl ' o" 't I tf !Z i r r I r I 9:.$==;==== , — «—€—€- 'W :zzizz»-*: -7-^- ^--i-i-j,-^ -S— N— S- dear lit - tie Grace whom I love bo much, Yet dare uot claim for my m |^EE?E|=y^ ^^=- :^=J-«- ^^-\/ — b -r—^ -^--^^ own ! When you are near, My heart feels clear ! But with [— -— #— ^^— H— -^ ^— 3— g— H— q —a ^:^" ^-i J. 9i!E'^Ed=!E m m^ A SINGLE MARRIED MAN. -H2->^z-^— ^— N— v-r— — — r— ^s:ri- 13 out you all hap - pi-ness goue ! I waste my spare momeuts re - iz^^j^ziB— •id=q=*=Ei^ *— T- i^: — ! — =^ F* — iT*- -•— - ! c L^ s? t? (> r,, D tc 1 J piu - ing ! My awk - Mard po - si - tiou de - fin - ing I To ^0^^^^^:^E^^0^ •«• ff"" 9-^^:^ " ' ~ " =£:t*=zz:^z=: -#-•- thii: th ink that a hus-baud I am! And yet as a bach- e- lor doom' d to :_i — j — - — I — -.X- — —c — i — ^— ^f- ^^-§i: 1^ — ^=^=:Fg T— ^- moan ! —J Yes, as a J^ JL ^ Jt. ^ ^ a. a. e.-\-B « » p. £ #. • — . ^^^"'^^^^^^^ "'" L^ — Ir*"" ' — LZ ^•j — — TwTv* — * — «i-F* — *— # — «• — # — #-]-* — ^-^* — i ^ — -1 ^^—^— P- — ^s^*— *— »-F^~*| — f— f— *~^-t- f — ^r>i-^_« :q u A SINGLE MARRIED MAN, ^ ♦ ^^ P-- rif. -=?=I?s=:^=i:^r=::s: Yes ! a lius - baud I am ! Aud a bach - e - lor T*- 5^=^ rit. (^: — 0-' 9 -<,_# V — • — • — » I: : i : : — 9 9- :ad ill too ! Lusingando, ^1 L ^.-n-=^^ N '=i ^:E3E^iA^ Ej =iE^p^f=E^E§3 ^'^ happy As when I was a bride!. To U: :-:-D=]i^=b?:z:*=;iri:?z^" 9 —&-0 r^^-r- ; gfi »-' ^3 [^g— 4gizvzif=:^:r.*-r-^— C.-I tf~r^-^~' ^"1 A SINGLE MARRIED MAN. 17 4Ie]; ,— * pE^fE^ -S— day to go rid - ing ! My lius - band by my Lpj^izzg:| jJ=^= ^3Eg=^^^=^-^^^g: ■& -f- -f- -s- ^ •♦^ ■** _^ ^_ — ^: poco annnaio. -0 — 1—9- 9—9 Side !. :i=q: For lie my lius - band sure - ly is ! Yes ! jfL_l_ p dolce. » — ^ # — «— k^ «— ^ ' 9— 9— A -=r -»- §-* ■* -«- -^ ^-9r -9r -»■ -9- tT-*- -9- -9- -9- ^-9- -9- he my hnsband sure ly is ! Tlio' the truth, the truth I -9--9- ' ^ iii^lg^in^^^^igsi^ -y— u^— y- must dis - own, Ah ! But there's a good saying of P^ip WltVli^'V _^tf.._<^. w — »" -V — V a tempo. fcirr P^E=^^E=^:^^ 18 A SINGLE MAKPJED MAX. -tT— a -^- ^r 1 n — iv — 1-^—1 — — — — — 1 Old! " Tlio' the truth may not always be told, Yet— its clar. _V Mr9 9^tE-EE= -ff — * tf 0- ifczz^ziz^zz:^ ^=^-=^ ^ y_, sure to come out ! Of that there's no doubt And 5: ;it nzz izzg: ;-- 1- -Y— ^- f=^ -i^-*— »- ^_ -9 then he'll be all., my own! But #: ^li ^ -v « — ' — -f^tl * ' ^— -— » — own! But own,.,.. And ->^9 9 -rTr ^»-<9-* \ — ^ _i_i — ^-^ — _ • -LI ^- 1 — ^_^ — -J fl-i — ^-* — — «- 41 — •-; — I — o — *— * — |.-^- w-jl^-^^-j^^ ^-^— ^ g zzzgzii^Trzig " g_#_i :x-*— , -^— F^ -v — 0-1-0- *— , then he'll be all., my own And then he'll be all my t 1- y»'0-0 — ' — ; — F^ ^- -I — 0-0 — — I ^- J \--0 h#-T- 9:|=i_-r=ir=r_=E': A SINGLE MARRIED MAN. >_j^_^ =iz^z==:-"p==',;r= 19 own I . ^ 4- -S- It JC -m^ J^ ^ ^ m 1 ^^ « "• ■ f/' f/ .>1_? \—0—0—\-0 : — I — r— c'^liznl.-—- I. [JSlri^ Gkace, ff/Vcr 50?jf7, (^oor, r. 1 e. 7?e-m?^r Sam, followed by Sesyants, c. He appears very pompous. Solo and Chorus. AUegrelto Moderato. ii!iEEr=^^^='sl5§n^: Poco vii 1 ^'i 1 -fi-^- Sam. (Pompously.) ^_>. — !s — N — ^- -iiEi2z±fi:^--;.=^-^ Promptly o - bey ! Now list to what I Bay! Mifter -, — « — * — ^-*^- ^ — "ft* :t>' 20 A SINGLE MARRIED MAN. m^ —0— —0- iifiz: —0— fs, — N— >^ — s^ 9 W "- ^ l-l,-#-*' .0.^ -!|;J^=^^^=z^-^^^^g=^^i^^-^^^^ -0 9^-»m ^ * — f 2 g— I % B—i — f— ^— g- -+f— -S—. * I L^ , ff -ft — 1\ — |s — ^ g;-- ^^— N-[- tf — a— 0— X — 9 — 0—'—0 « — -* .^__^__^__>, — ^_ 13^^ grumbliDg I'll al - low ! Sour looks or eta - blc row ! To my -*-- ^"^fe^-i a X- 0^ '—0 —0—, «_i!li* ^ , -^^— ^ — 9 — ^— P- -^ — N — N s~K- ■\vill you all must bow! I'm Ma - jor Do - mo |i_. V 1 I aeEB^E^ Where's thf ^Ts'ttf^ — N~i» — — — # — * — #, — «"rit^ — «! — « — » — ? — E — g — — j P • ^ HP- ■ A SINGLE MARRIED MAN. Omelet, i^ ^-^--^-0~^~0—*-^ Sam. ~& g ^ 0— cook? Here Your best skill ! You'll have a fam - ous cbanoe to -0—r-0- \ ^S|-iZ^?z^-fz?=t=:pEFti=tii^r^ ±±±t^ :?: -e -e -e -e -*—.*-*-©-©-# —#—1- jfg g ■i^— t— ■^— -t-— f--!^ — PE« « ■* » m ■ ' -_z:] 1^ §^z:=^Zl^:^-:^^±z:^ :i^ :i^±zi::V:±f-^:Vif^j:^::^± ^-i^~0—^—0—9—&—^—&—a—a—f0—0 ^—0—« 0—0—0- try it! On beef-steak and to-ma-to sauce! But mind you broil it'. Don't you fry it ! Else you'll me it, By - and - bye! Where's the hostler? Here! sir, a -f'i'^^-^ -5=3 • — •- , n iii^E :*-f-:ii^:^ •^ -#- •#- ■§■•&•& V ^ — ^ — • — m ff. ,... ^ — tf — ^ — g >-[:z^l^^=5=[jg--^=^ here. Put the har - ness to the hors - es ! Bring the car-riage „"te i :f; rf: '^gg^^^^^g r_^_p^__f. 22 A SINGLE MARRIED MAN. Chorus. C Uaisoni.) Dear! Oli! Dear! This is ^fE^3^i^!^*ils^^£t^i^£^ quick -ly here ! Bring the carriafre iustaut - ly! O -bey. Now , ^_ _^ , , , U J> -^ — ^- •worse than e'er be -fore! Though Master is ahardoue! He gives --N — N — ^- list to what I say! Mister Les-lie's gone a -way I And I'm n. • « '^^m^ * * . * —9 — »- 1 I or - ders bj- the score 1 Dear! oh, dear! This is fjici±zzfczrf^r45:ri::=zz^zi^zczz:izz==z=z— iiz=i:= -ff-^— ^ — ^— # — I ^— g— pHs — s— N — fs— : N— s Mas - ter here to - day No grumbhng I'll al - low ! Sour ;-i^^-^ :^lzi:vzz:i^:i^_J5' ZZIIJ_J- 9-* A SINGLE MARRIED MAN. 23 •worse than e'er be-fore, Though Mas - ter is a hard one ! He gives n^=. -N — ^- --A-^-- >s— A--M-— ; ."izit-p'-— g— t?— y- looks or sta - ble row ! To my will you all must bow ! I'm i -— ^■-— •— * ^"^&"tf-'=- ■ ^ —^ — i-V-^"J-t. . • Imi • -f ^# .Tr_ Rallent. I I I ■ I I I I orders by the score! iEE^I Ma-jor Do-mo now ! colla voce. -*• ff Accellerando. .f^^e^fi^e g00gfi.^. \— — ft-fl— ' — A 1^-^-' — \~0-0-0 1 f — 0— .^^-.^^a-»'0-' — I — f--€-H r ^ • -I k^ r , I I II m=^ m ;i Sam (q/i'er chorus). Now you lazy rascals, be lively. If you make our master wait, you shan't me. What have you all been about? 1st Servant. Why, we thought, as master was out, we might Sam. Yes ! But then again, you mightn't ? {turning to Omelet) You say you're the cook ? {affecting hauteur. ) Omelet. Yes, sure ! You knows it. I came here yesterday before to-day ! Sam. Well, then, to-day before to-morrow I require an example of your skill. Let me have a most elegant assortment of dainties in an hour's time. A dinner for two but enough for six, for a lady and gen- tleman with remarkably strong appetites. Hostlek. But, Mr. Double, you're surely joking about the carriage. It hasn't been used for a month — it wants cleaning- awiull3\ Sam. More shame for you. Set to work, immediately. Come, stir your stumps, all of you ! 24 A SINGLE MARRIED MAN. Ard. {without). Sam ! Sam ! I say ! Servants. Here's master come back ! Let's be ofif. [They exeunt hurriedly, doori,., IsfE. Sam. Mr. Leslie ! Back so soon ? Impossible 1 Aed. (nearer). Where are you, Sam ? Sam. ill be hanged if it ain't, though ! What can have brought him back? How unfortunate! Grace will return almost directly, and if he once sets eyes on her— oh ! lor ! Oh ! She'll be lost ! I'll be lost. We'll all be lost ! Vv^hat can 1 do? Here's a situation for a husband. Ill try to intercept her, before he sees me, and make some excuse for Bnier Aedent, c. {affecting surprise) Why ! Mr. Leslie ! And returned so soon ? I hope you have not met with any unpleasant accident, {aside) I wish he'd broken his neck. AuD. Indeed but I have ! and a mos^ unpleasant one ! You can hard- ly imagine what has occurred. Sam. Excuse me, sir. But has it anything to do with a pretty face? Aed. Sam, you've hit the mark. A day or two since, I came across one of the prettiest little fairies of her sex, I saw her again, just now, while crossing the wood, but only to lose sight of her once more, in the mazes of the thicket. I looked into all the cottages in the village ; but although I encountered many a pretty lamb amongst the female inhabitants, I could find no trace of my lost sheep ! Console me, Sam! Sam. Beally, sir; you are much to be pitied, {aside) Jjost sheep in- deed ! if she comes across him. Ard. Such a face ! such expression ! Such a tout ensemble ! Sam. Toot what, sir ? Has that anything to do with her nose ? Aed. Pooh ! How ignorant you are. Sam {aside) . I have it ! It must have been old Peter Rogers' young wife. They live on the hill, {aloud) I know who she is, sir. And be- fore the day is over, you shall see her again. In fact, I did think of introducing you before ; but then, you know, you're married now, and I felt delicate Aed. Say no more, Sam. Faithful Sam ! Let me but see her again and twenty dollars shall be yours. Enter Grace, c. She is dresf^ed in a neit walking suit, and comes down steps without seeing Ardent, and uni^erceived hy Sam. Sam. I think I feel the crisp bank bills in my hand already. Poor Rogers ! Poor Mrs, Rogers ! Aed. {suddenly seeing Grace, who starts on seeing him). What do I be- hold ? Why, Sam ! You are a necromancer ! you outvie Heller, Hartz, Hermann and the whole lot of them ! (gives him purse) Here's double the money, for you have well deserved it. Sam. What ! pay in advance ? No ! wait till Rogers is — {tur7is and sees Grace) The devil !] Grace (c). I beg pardon, sir ; but, {to Sam) Mr. Double, here is the key of the gate, I Aed. No apologies, pretty l.idy. True'it was Mr. Double who told you to come; but it was I who wished to speak with you. (as/t/e)What a pretty creature ! Sam (whispering to Gbace). It's Mr. LesHe ! Our secret ! Be cau- tious ! OK A SINGLE MARRIED MAN. ^'^ ^ScK^Gra^inryo'^'Se. sir. D.u^Ute. to Hr3. F.anci, iu "^Vl^d^. Grace at his service! 01>, dear! Oh, dear! (makes s,<,mto G'^I'CE^ ; ^ jj^, P^a^ei, is not so well off as she used to be; JZ.t{:^.:t:^^ «am shall tako^careomr^ and as_f„r^ y^u, why I'll take care ot you myself! l.h-tliat is i mca "S;/"nTSr^tSJ 'children. That will he - easy siiuatic^ at all events. (Sa^, during all Has, is making exated moUons to Gbace to ^'gbaoe- Please, sir: I couldn't undertake the position Aed. Well, then, you shall be our— Grvce. Nor that either, sir ! {curlseytng.) Ard Why, what are your occupations at home? Gkace /attend to the cows and make the cheese V Vi -i-oi t v.m c,1vt11 bp our dairymaid. 1 dote on cneebe, uui* Ard. Capital ! \ou ^[^'^^^f ^^.J/ l' kin'i vou, Sam ? (sZaps him m as for Sam,.he s a perfect glutiou at it. Ain i you, oa v i the back.) Tf curdles in my stomach. I mean my head. Head cheL^e'^'D-D-k^ onl::^ Tdon't know what I'm saying. GbIce. I'm sorry, sir ; but you must excuse me. My mother is "tr We'Udine together! Stay! I forgot that I did not order any ^^^^^^^ Omelet, k. 1 e. . . OMB. Monsieur Double. (6o.» fo.) Ze diner, it is all r.ady-tou^ pret. 'rM%..e) Al.readytopr.ysonice^! r.r^^^^^^ Aed. Wliat! A dinner? Andallrea^y. ^ice diner, so I at once! What says Grace? . l Sr;i.^iu'Jile%''ofh:L"JnSln1V-bacl. again. (.««,.^^ ^°'^^^'^- E7i(er Hostler. Bring the carnage. ^ ^^^^^ ordered it out. 1,'S':' U^uirsaln af4in\" Y«u-,^' a in-ick ! Half n>.v inco.ne isn't too '"'^'JZsZ. Wl.at a pleasant position to he in. (aloud) Sir, Im S.M. I Sir! "•yl'llVr'^erYoi can lie hotter than any one I Aud. No, no. Im. 11 do be»t. \ou hostler, l. 1 e. know. You can retire. John. t Sam. You Hatter me, sir! .^^r,-™^^it^s:th^vs.j:^e£,s'^;rs^^^ toiu this heart. — '" 26 A SINGLE MARRIED MAN. Grace. Oh ! sir; Im sure I don't deserve half the compliments you muke me. ^77a.— Gkace. m^ Ah, me I I must dissemble ! My if rail. P a tempo. 9:ti4Jzz«5:2?:?L7^«-7:?r; ^^£E^ m ::iv3z4i^ :i^z±: husband's place to save, -m nev - er was deceitful ! Of a rf * ~ ^, tf 71 -N-- ■w -^ -f -^ -^ ^ ' ^-^- T! IT secret I'm the slave, AU ! secret I'm the slave, I know its very n_J^ ^ >; ^ , ^ sost. u - ^ :^ A SINGLE MAERIED MAN. 27 wrong, To;: flirt with a - ny man, To flirt with a - nyman, But — ' M^-r — ff* — tf-ji — —h—i-^w — I]*-' B — ' — i — I "--^ -22-^ Lg^ ' Jsz«zii=zz Lis >%-^— ^-^--^^— ^-F-8— #-^-^^ -^-g^^-^ — -^--1 n7. what now can I do? I must dissemble ! My, i^-,*z^^ij :r4-*f?~: *_«?_^»_^. coUa voce. ^ _ ' . #_iL ^ ■» •> » • ^ fefe5^ir5E^^v3^E7^z^-E5-^'*^^ husband's place to save feel I must dissemble ! Of a se - cret I'm the slave ! Of a se - cret I'm the coUavoce. ^f _^ . ^ . . ^ ^ 28 A SINGLE MARRIED MAN. W-tV~ slave ! And my husband's place must save! Of a se - cret I'm the -g- 0-' - -7--- i] slave ! And. my husband's place to save! f 9: ^ f •0- ,=b=?^i -^ n 1 1 -_] J £3 ^' % 0, -^---S— * 1 • -:J^- ■aaau '"^ ' 1 :£==;— _*,_*'-_• ^ -t^ -5-J ==fi^-~fr.:J5=rxif^| b-^ :? g: •* -^^ '9 JL"A~ Ard. {nf?er aria). You are too modest ! ]\Iay I never liave a kiss in my life again, if you — (/ie attempts to kiss Grace.) Entei' Sam, c. he has a tmnel under his arm and some plates in his hand which he lets fall and breaks. Ardent and Grace start. Ard. Clumsy booby ! ITow you starlied us ! Sam. I was in haste to say that tlie kiss— no, no, the dinner, is com- Enter Servants u-ith dinner. TJiey prepare tahle r. c, and then they (ill retire except Sam and Omelet. Ard. Why, Sam ! you must have done tliis by electricity. You were not away Sam {interrupting) . Don't you think it will Ije best for me to wait at table. Servants have such lon.2: ears. Ard True, true, and you are always prudent, {they sit, r. c.) Sam {aside, r. c.)- I niean to be. And I'll prove it by not leaving you two togetlier for a second. Aed. Come, Grace, my denr, you don't eat. Grace (loo7ciur/ askance at Sa}.i). The joy. the honor, sir, Ik'.s taken away my :ippet-ite A SINGLE MARRIED MAN. 29 ^AM (aside). Neither one nor otlier has taken away mine ! I'm as hungry as possible, and here 1 stand, napkin in hund^i wailing on my own wife ! How she eats. And liow he eyes lier. AiiD. Sam, some wine ! {Sa^i Jills two r/lasses.) Grace. Mr. Double, your good health ! Mr. Ardent, yours, (drin/cs.) Akd. {aside to Sam). Isn't siie bewitciiing? Wliat a clianning smile ! iiA^i {loud e)iou'jh for G\iAV,E, to hear). Hum. so, so. At IJrst sight perhaps. But /thiidc her smiles more like u country grin. Akd. And tlien her eyes ! Sam. Why, she squints I {G-rac:e starts angrily.) Ome. (R.G., li-ho has been standing next to Sam). Oui, monsieur is right. Ma'mselle has got ze beautiful eye. Sam. Why, you Frencii parlez-vous Kickshaw. What do you know about it? This is too nmcli. {/acks hiniojf', door e. 1 e. ) Ard. More Mine, Sam. Sam. Yes, sir. {aside) 1 wisli it would choke iiiui. {looking at Grace, lie pours icine into the salt-cellar in place of the glass.) Ard. Wliat are you about, stupid ! (Sam pours out two glasses of wine — drinks one himself.) Sam. Here's to your better behavior, Miss ! Ard. Did you ever see such a fellow ? Permit me to help you? {pours 'Wine.) Grace {aside). I'll punish him for the squint! (aloud) Oh! he's clumsy, certainly, but he'd be i;ood enough lor a country gawk, if he was only better looking. Sam {aside). Til bi; even wuth you for this. Ard. I'm sure you nmst have a great many lovers! Grace. For shame, sir, I've only one. Ard. What a lucky fellow he must be. But then, of course, lie's very handsome. Grace. On the contrary, he's quite homely ! And so jealous. Sam (aside). If it was not for my situation I'd tell all ! Ard. Jealous? Grace. Yes, sir. (looking Sam full in the face) And the next time he catches me alone, mercy on me ! Enter Omelet, running c. Ome. Monsieur ! Ze Madame, Madame Leslie ! She come up ze valk ! Sam (aside). I'm saved. I breathe again. Ard. This is sudden. Quick! quick! remove these things. (Ardent and Omelet commence clearing. Grace walks about alarmed. Sam enjoys it all, but dont attempt to help) Why, Sam, you rascal, Avhy don't you help us? As for Grace, she must go home by the side gate; she can't remain here. Grace. I can't, sir; the gate is locked. I gave the key to Sam. Sam (maliciously). Yes! And I've lost it. Ard. What's to be done ? (hypocritically) My wife will suspect the purity of my actions, and this poor girl will— here, Grace! Go in there! There yon will at least be safe, (opens door r. 2 e.) Sam.* Why, that's. Mrs. Leslie's boudoir! Ard. Yes ! But she hardly ever goes there. It's the only refuge left. \_Exit Grace, door r. 2 e., Ardent closes it after her. Enter Mrs. Leslie, c. She is dressed in a walking suit and comes in hastily. 30 A SINGLE MARRIED MAN. Mks. Leslie. My clear Ardent. How happy I am to see you looking- so well. Are you quite recovered? lExit Omelet, shrugr/ing his shoulders. Ard. Recovered ! What do you mean ? What brought you back so soon ? Mrs. L. Do not be surprised ! I know all Ard. {alarmed). All? Mrs. L. Yes. Tills little note, written in pencil, was handed to me by a'boy mounted on your jjony. Sam {luughuig to himself, aside). Capital! How well my scheme has worked to be sure ! Ard. I'd i^ive something;- to know whom to reward for this kindness. ilRS. L. I'm so glad that the danger has been no worse. Sam. It was serious, Madume, while it lasted. Mrs. L. I have l)een so flurried by my hasty walk, that I will take a short rest in my boudoir! Sam {aside). The crisis is ai>proaching! Ard. {alarmed). Your boudoir ! Mrs. L. Yes! Why not? Ard. Why, to tell the truth — {aside to Sam) Invent, lie, swear. Do your duty— get me out of this scrai)e. Sam. Mrs. Leslie will scarcely expect to find in her boudoir — but I hope she will excuse Mrs. L. Excuse ? Find what? Sam. a pretty little woman, I brought her here to Mrs. L. Wliat! A pretty w^oman brought here in my absence ! Ard. {pretending anger). How, a female I {aside) Admirable. Keep it up ! Sam {aside). I will sir. {to himself) Better than you suspect. Mrs, L, This must be explained ! This impertinence Sam, Sir ! ]\Iadame ! I blush to say it, but, the innocent cause of all this confusion is— my wife! Aed ^" [ ^iogether). Your wife ? Sam {aside). My pension's gone for a surety I {aloud) My wife is vir- tuous, simple and obliging. Mr. Leslie ordered me lo seek a fit attend- ant k)V you. Madame, and I took the liberty— I nuist confess it — of en- deavoring to solicit your kind niiproljatiou of Mrs. Doul)le, and, as 1 l)romised never to marry without his consent, tlie forgiveness of my too generous employer. Ard, [iisidc^. That f(-llow con lie like Mephistophiles himself! Mrs, L, i\Iy doar Anient! How mucli I appreciate the little thought- ful kindnesses you are always bestowinn- on me. Ard. {aside). M// little Ihoughful kindnesses ! I like that! j\Irs, L. Mr. Double ! Let me see your wife. I'm sure I shall like her. Sam {in glee). This way, Madame ; this way. {leads her off, door r. 2 E,. after exchanging glances with Ardent.) Ard. (standing amazed"]. What a capital lie! Was there ever such a fellow? He's a ])erfect treasure! How cleverly lie introduced a wile to our notice ! And wliat ;in escape for me ! {hypocritically) Mrs. Les- lie might have been jealous, and how could I have persuaded her of my innocence ! Re-enter Mrs. Leslie, door k. 2 E. Well Emily dear, do you think she will do? Mrs. L. I feel sure of it. And poor Mr. Double, he seems to dote on A SINGLE MARRIED MAN. 81 her. (laughing) \\\\\. turning towards the looking glass, I saw him give her a I'Ciss. lla! lui ! lui ! Akd. {aside). Tlie devil ! {aloud) And you permitted it ? Mrs, L. How ! my love! why should I prevent a husband from kiss- ing his own wife ? Canzonette.—MB.s. Leslie. Allegro Moderato. msm p J : * : f - ^— p— p. f^g=;=g^Fs-. ,ii=B: — r-K = rtiitz^— r: i What may be wrong — be wrong iu lov - ers ! . !^^Efe=F^'E^S=J?=^^ What may be wrong— be wrong in lov ^ :£ $: ^J^_ m_l^l^ -1^1^ 32 A SINGLE MARRIED MAN. u ^^^^^^MeM^^e^^^:ee^ What may be wrong — be wrong in lev - ert ty !=^^^^^&b^N£i^'EEEi?EEEEll mg — -0 In mar - ried life ! In mar-ried life be-comes an - otli - er L ;i iS ._^_. ._;._. ffjl fT • _ 4i • • tf P - • e T- »— P * ^ (Kisses him.) thing! "What barm in kiss - ing one's bus - band. s p .f#t^ ^ f-_ _f JtLfi •#■ ^ ms mmm^ A SINGLi: lIAr.rjED MAN. n i^ iJ 33 /TV lEg^^^^-E E^^ ^gg;^^ What harm iu kiss - ing one' wife. ^ i - "S--.-1^ ^--L..i. © T^ p :_^_,_^: ^«--^ [Holds her face towards him. He kisses her.) ze=y=: 'Tis the proof of af - fee - tion 1 Of love 'tis the ■^ i m l^-^^- V— y- ^Z" ■U^ h — ^v- S ; a — a- n-h- ^— «— -a ■/- Bign, As with all mar-ried folks it is yours! It is f^^^^3^0^^0mm "\ — f- J ^ 34: A SINGLE MAERIED MAN. «— #— « ^_#_- mine ! Theu thiuk of that bus - band, And -%_z:*-t^E^Jz-— E- -^— --^h P«co animato. -I r-#- t?=*=^ ft=5=? ^— y- — i^ — ^ — y-[— * — ^ — *-- don't be se - vere ! Think of that bus - band, And •J — r— ^*- Jf_-zr=._tL_tr-?--f--^-^=^ J^-^^ . ■*<»■ ■*»- I # «_ w<. ^-4- Y~2- don't be se - vere ! im'=E3=fE^i-^i vere I Think of that bus-band, And y^i^^^m^^^^^^ cres : e rit. colla voce. #_ J_ g_JJ__^_Sl ^^-^^ A SINGLE HAKKIED MAN. f'C^^ ^^f_t-^_t-t. Silpiiiil^^l^iii^ Ard. {afiei- canzonette). My love, you are not yet aware how strict I am on the score of the proprieties. I shall have to lecture Sam, a little. Mrs. L, For wliat he did lately? Ard. {confusedly). No, my dear. For something which he has not done at all, Mrs. L. Oh ! Well, in that case {crosses l.) I'll go to arrange about a room near mine for Grace. [Exit, door l. 1 e. Ard. Egad ! If this goes on much longer, there will be room for Grace and' to spare. What the deuce makes Sam stay so long in that boudoir ? Enter Sam, door r. 2 e. So, sir ! you've come at last ! Sam {aloud, as if for Mrs. Leslie to hear him). I beg your pardon, sir, but my wife Kbj). {looking at him). Your wife? Phew! {laughing.) Sam. Yes, sir. I was giving her a little advice concerning her behav- ior to Mrs. Leslie. And I know Ard. {angrily). I know you're an infernal scoundrel ! I've half a mind to horsewhip vou ! Sam. Well ! That's a good joke ! A.RD. I know your bad wavs. Such a pretty simple country lass, too. And under my roof. How d^are you do it ? How dare you kiss her? Sam {aside). Now, who the devil told him that? Ard. You're trying to concoct another lie! Sam. I scorn your assertion. I did kiss her ! But it was all in your interest! I saw "that Mrs. Leslie was not thoroughly convinced, so I had to do something despernte! Ard. I have a strong suspicion that that something desperate was in yotu- service. But you'd best beware. Grace is coming. I shall hide behind yonder French window and watch you ! and if you should again attempt anything desperate, I'll first have'you soused in the horse-pond and afterwards kicked from under my roof. You hear! {retires g., be- hind window, from which he occasionally 2'>eeps. ) Enter Grace, door r. 2 i;. Grace. What a nice lady that is ! We shall be so happy now, that there is no need of further mystery. Ard. [listeninq). What's that she says? Sam {vainly trying to make Grace comprehend by signs, not to talk 36 A SINGLE MARRIED MAN. loud). Here's a nice position to be in ! If I spealv, I lose my place ! If I don't, Hose my wile ! Wiiat am I to do ? Grace. I sui)pose that I may now tell all my friends that you are my husband. Sam. Your husband? Come, don't carry tlie joke too far ! That's all very well in its place! but, {looking over shoulder) \\\q^q are ticklish times, and Grace. A husband in joke ! And have I only been carryin.^ on a joke all this while, {trying to swppress tears) Very well, sir! I'm not iioing to break my heart about it. There are plenty of such husbands in the market. Sam. That's just where the shoe pinches ! I must coax and humor her. Trio— Geace, Sam and Ardent. :2:rzfzifL"?:?z:^"f:b?ir*:f:fizf:*'L?z:''**zif:?"[:*:^?:*'*z:*"?' J^ M^ Jit. ^ JfL M. JL ^ —:= :^:^ ores. ff Sam. (Softly to Grace, --N. t-g-T-rr n^^^\?=t:^=^. "Well I know I am j'our has - baud PP ZZe- ^^^^^^m?m^ A SINGLE MARRIED MAN. GllACK. --K N — N- dear! Where - fore then re - fute it? Why now theu dLs - Sva , — ^5_^_L_|:_ — „ — |— -- — \- .—z— — .- h-^^d^ ^ — ^ — ^ — -• # '#_ »fzz»f— »' ;itills^=^^i^^feiEi^?E Sam. [Loud for Ardent to hear.) (Aside.) 9 pute it? My hou-or's at stake, And my Mas-ter's ve - ry ^ ^ > N ^ 1^ g — f rM ^ r* ;i r* y n (Louder. Grace. near! Cau't you un - der- stand me now? No not so ve - ry clear! But as you seem so ve - ry sor - ry for all things gone a -0—f0. 38 A SINGLE MARRIED MAN. {Offers hei- face.) Akd. [Angry, Why she offers him a kiss.') miss ! Take kiss! Take a kiss! Grace. I Sam, She \ S- fi-^mz of- fer you a ofl'ers lue a if- * i^rise^ Aed. {SJie offers him a kiss.) -' « — J— '^t — >•-^^->'— iT^ kiss! Grace. Take a kiss! Take a kiss! I kiss! Sam. She -^~r. of- fer j'ou a offers me a -g-.rzgzp^ wifLiizr.^ L:n^_r~ci"^?iz^# ± : 9:iEgEE^=fEEE^^EEEgE^^!E;EE;^gEEEgEE^ Sam. -g^ tfc=£i=;E £^_ -|== I — , kiss ! Did I dare — But Master's there 1 Did I dare — but Mas-ter's :i=S: -?- -ff tf ST there. izit:1=t^=E3=?--I=^*zz_t:d=t^*=t?£t^ JR. 'P^ .#-^-«-^ -# -^ A SINGLE MARRIED MAN. Grace. 39 Theo you wout take it, What am I Sam. to tliiuk of this I What a quan - da - ry, I'm at the brink of Abd. byss ! :^=:S^: Oh what ef- front -ry, She has of - fer'd him a kiss! V r-S=dli^liM=lMf^lf^^ ' ^ JL A ^ JL ^ ■§•-§- UJ UJ 1 L^J LJ 1 • 1' I — ^ ^t y — y — ^_t^ — ^ 5 — t* 1. Then you wont take it, What am I to think of this ? What a quan-da - ry, I'm at the brink of an a - byss ! -N^-- N— -N S- ?mm Oh! what ef -front -ry, She has of - fer'd him a kiss! ^^ZI± Cy ^ :# *^=i| 40 A SINGLE MARRIED MAN. -?T— «- ±^:z3:. Then you wont take it. What am I to think of this ! Then you wont "What a quau-da-ry, I'matthebrinkof an a- byss! What a Oh! what effront-ry, She has of-fer'd him a kiss! Oh! what ef 8m loco. -^—j\ 9-0—0 — I 5 — f — ;— ■ — , — f -€-€ -r —m» — m0 ^\%——0-0—0~\ -^— * — *-\--i — •— » »^ P— *-*-*--n;-*| *: --S N- )-+- >__ — y — y — ■^_±\/ — ^ tf_ take it, What am I to think of this! f—0-^9- r-^ K S — -9^-0- r-^- i-^9- ^ da - ry, I'm at the brink of an a - byss ! — ^^— N- - ' 0—''-e ^ — I ^— — ^— front - ry, She has of - fer'd him a kiss ! -#_t- .tf^f-.e m .. 0—^'t-9 gEEgEEggE^i; 1 — r-— ^ — '^- ff 9 9 9. ■? A SINGLE JIARKIED MAN. 41 Y-2- :3 eeeM:=^^e^ kiss ! ---:=-"==: ::i=zi^ ^^^^ t)- :ff_ ^ ■—"' ^^^z^iz^: _*_^_[:^ — =^-—^-'^ ^^^—\ ^-i-y ^ PTi=Z ^ «*-* -5. f/" sec. , . ^ SE ^ ~ i'^ ! i t I ?zi=i«-bfi=z:sfzziFgz:z:i'L=Fs-d=dz:±E?=fzdJ ^ll^--. Enter Mrs. Leslie, l. 1 e., after trio. Mks. L. Bless me, Avbat's the matter? quarrelling? Sam. It's ail lier fault! Grace. It isn't. It's his. Sam. I wislied to Grace. No, he didn't! When I {sohbing) offered him a kiss just now, he wouldn't take it. Mrs. L. Kefuse to kiss your wife? Most extraordinary! I insist on a reconciliation. Sam. Well, ma'am ; since it is your desire— (/o Grace) Come here, m\' love ! {r/ives her a hearty emhrace.) Grace. Oh ! I couUl Jump for joy ! that I could ! Ard. {coming forward and inking ^tnge rapidhi. lie suddenly stops hrfore Sam)! Still here, sir, after what I said to you ? Grace. Oli ! j^ray. sir: don't turn my linsband away. A-RD. (aside). Her husl)and ! She still sticks to it. Mrs. L. Whv, von ure surelv not going- to discharge Sam Double. Wln.thas he done? 4:2 A SINGLE MARRIED MAN. Aed. Oil ! he knows well enou2:li ! JSam iboldlij). I'll be hanged if I do ! Mes. L. {to Grace). Never mind, I'll intercede. Go to my room and wait till I come. Ard. Your room ! Wh}', they are not married ! All. Not married? Mrs. L. I am confomided ! All, So am I ! Ard. It's positively disgraceful ! Sam {quietli/). Mr. Ardent, would you have continued us in your ser- vice if we had been ? Mrs. L. Of course he would ! I'll answer for that ! Sam, Then I can settle the matter at once. Here, Madame, is a cer- tificate of our marriage a month since, signed by the Rev. Dr, Tyenmi). And here also is a promise long since wi-jtten l)y your respected hus- band, conferring on nie a pension for very valuable service rendered in the past, and promising me ihe stewardship of these estates on my good be- havior for the future. You see, Madame, that it only requires his signa- ture—long since promised. Mrs, L. {after lookincj at -papers). Quite correct ! I congratulate you! (Grace rt«f? Sam ,/o^'M /_ >_ f ( Voices in unison with me. b ! ^r-\ — \ ^# — * — *--^7 .# .^ 111 T T i^ I ' fes-tive day, Your smiles we ask for all around, Let us all make A SINGLE MARRIED MAN. 43 i-4- u- ho - li - day. / For peace and liap-pi-uess abound. V For peace and !i^=a3 -* — 'or pes ^^^=m^m^^^. i. * CURTAIN. |___|__C.^ . CZC hap-pi-ness a-bound. r/- ±=±: 7/ ^ 5: -?- ^r-*-#- gyiz^=zsiz=ppEzirr=22ii^rrs=ttip-i=zrp2?=gir^>— DiS2JOSiiion of characters at fall of curtain. Seevants. Servants. Sam. Gbace. Mrs. Leslie. Ardent. CURTAIN. ETHIOPIAN AND COMIC DRAMA. " Let those laugh now who never laughed before, And those who always laughed now laugh the more." >!T jthlng so thorough and complete in ihe way of Ethiopian and Comic Dramas* fr.y e\er been printed as those that appear in the following list. Not only are thJ i'^ o'.s excellent, the characters droll, the incidents funnj , the language humorous j b.ic aV the situations, by-play, positions, pantomimic business, scenery, and tricks' , arc sc V'^l^^ly '^ct down and clearly explained, that the merest novice could put any of ti»em on the stage. Included in this catalogue are all the most laughable and effective pieces of their class ever produced. n.'^if: In ordering, please copy the ligures.at the commencement of each play, which indicate the number of the piece in " De Witt's Ethiopian and Comic DUAMA." j^^~ Any of the following plays sent, postage free, on receipt of pric-^>- 15 Cents Each. Address, '^ : ' ' . DE WITT, JSTo. 33 Rose Street, JYew York, ZW The figures In the columns indicate the number of characters — M. mala^ V. female. > ♦ « . No. M. F. 73. African Box, burlesque, 2 scene 5 107. AfricJinus Bluebeard, musical Ethiopian burlesque 6 2 43. B.i'oy fiiephant. sketch, 2 scene 7 1 TJ. Bariio.y's Courtship, musical intet ude, 1 act 1 1 43. Bad. Waiskey, sketch. 1 scene. 2 1 G. Black Ci\ap from Whitechupel, negro piece 4 10. Black Cheu:ist, sketch, 1 scene 3 11. Black-ey'd William, sketch, 2 scenes 4 1 40. Big Mistak-!, sketch, 1 scene.. 4 78. Bogus Indian, sketch, 4 scenes 5 2 89. B.)gas Talking Machines (The) farce, t scene 4 24. Bruised and Cured, sketch, 1 scene 2 108. Charge of the Hash Brigade, Irisli musical sketch 2 2 35. Coal Heaver's Rbvenge, negro sketch, 1 scene 6 41. Cremation, sketch. 2 scenes... 8 1 12. Daguerreotypes, sketch, 1 scene 3 53. D:unon and Pythias, burlesque, 2 scenes 5 1 63. Darkey's Strataijem. 1 act — 3 1 110. De Black Magician, Ethiopian comicality, 1 scene 4 2 til. Deeds of Darkness, Ethiopian extravaganza. 1 act — 6 1 50. Draft (The), sketch, 1 act 6 $4, Dutchman's Ghost, 1 scene... 4 1 No. 95. Dutch Justice, sketch, t sr^ene 67. Editor's Troubles, farcc3, i see 4. Eh ? What is It ': sketch 98. Elopement (The), farce, 1 scene 52. Excise Trials, sketch, 1 scene. 25. Fehow that Looks Like Me, in- terlude, 1 scene — 51. Fisherman's Luck, 1 scene... 88. First Night (The), Dutch farce, 1 act lOG. Gambrinus, King of Lager Beer, Ethiopian burlesquf 2 scenes - 83. German Emigrant (The), sketch 1 scene 77. Getting Square on the Call Boy, sketcli, 1 scene 17. Ghost (The), sketch, 1 act 58. Ghost in a Pawnshop, 1 scene. 31. Glycerine Oil, sketch. 20. Going for the Cup, interlude.. 82. Good Night's Rest, 1 scene. .. 86. Gripsack, sketch, 1 scene 70. Guide to the Stage, sketch 61. Happy Couple, 1 scene 23. Hard Times, extravaganza, 1 scene. 3. Hemmed In. sketch 48. High Jack, the Heeler, 1 scen^ G8. Hippotheatron. sketch 71. In and Oat, sketch. 1 scene... 33. Jer,lous Husband, sketch 94. Julius, the Snoozer, 3 scenes . 2 C Di: WITT'S ETHIOPIAN AND COlIIC DRAHA (Continued). I?0. 51. T. JOj. Katrina's Little Game, Dutch act, 1 scene 1 2 1. Last of the ]\Iohicans, sketch.. 3 1 33. Laughing Gas, sketch, 1 scene. 6 1 18. Live Inian, sketch, 4 scenes... 4 1 GJ. Lost Will, sketch 4 C 87. Lucky Job, farce, 2 scenes.... 3 2 90. Lunatic (Tiic), farce, 1 scene.. 3 \0d. Making a Hit, farce, 2 scenes.. 4 I 19. Malicious Trespass, 1 scene — 3 1 96. Midnight Intruder (The), farce, I 1 scene G 1 f 101. l.Iollie Moriarty, Irish music- al sketch, 1 scene 1 1 8. Mutton Trial, sketch, 2 scenes 4 44. Musical Servant, sketch, 1 see. 3 49. Night in a Strange Hotel, sketch, 1 scene 2 22. Obeying Orders, sketch 1 scene 2 1 27. One Hundredth Night of Ham- let, sketch 7 1 30. One Kight in a Barroom, sketch 7 76. One, Two, Three, 1 scene 7 87. Pete and the I'eddler, Negro and Irish sketch, 1 scene 2 1 9. Policy Players, sketch, 1 scene 7 L7. Pompey's Patienis, interlude, 2 scenes 6 65. Porter's Troubles, 1 scene 6 1 ''iG. Port Wine vs. Jealousy, sketch 2 1 91. Painter's Apprentice (The), farce, 1 scene 5 C 02. Polar Boar (The), 1 scene 4 1 It. Recruiting Office, sketch, 1 act. 5 45. Kemittance from Home, sketch, 1 scone G 105. Rehearsal (The), Irish farce, 2 scenes 4 2 55. Rigging a Purchase, sketch, 1 scene 3 SI. Rival Artists, sketch, 1 scene. 3 26. Rival Tenants, sketch 4 15. Sam's Courtship, farce, 1 act.. 2 1 59. Sausage Makers, 2 scenes 5 1 80. Scenes on the Mississippi, 2 scenes 6 21. Scampini, pantomime, 2 scenes G 3 84. Serenade(The), sketch,2 scenes 7 38. Siamese Twins, 2 scenes 5 74. Sleep Walker, sketch, 2 scenes 3 4G. Slippery Bay, sketch, 1 scene. C 1 69. Squire for a Day, sketch 5 1 56. Stage-struck Couple, 1 scene.. 2 1 72. Stranger, burlesque, 1 scene... 1 2 and 2 children, 7. Stupid Servant, sketch, 1 ?cene 2 (^ 13. Streets of New York, 1 scene . 6 IG. Storming the Fort, 1 scene 5 47. Take it,"^Don't Take It, 1 scene 2 54. Them Papers, sketch, 1 scene. 3 iOO. Three Chiefs (The), 2 scenes ..60 .102. Throe A. M., sketch. 2 scenes. 3 1 34. Three Strings to One Bow, sketch, 1 scene 4 1 2. Tricks, .«ketch 5 2 104. Two Awfuls (The), 1 scene.... 5 5. Two Black Roses, sketch 4 1 28. Uncle Eph's Dream, 2 scenes.. 3 1 62. Yhiegar Bitters, sketch, 1 scene 6 1 82- Wake tp, William Henry. ... 3 «* i c>o. M. r.- £3. ■\Tantcc!, a Nur<=c, 1 scene 4 VS. Weston tlie Walkist, Dutch sicctch, 1 scene 7 1 03. What Shall 1 Take ? farce, 1 act 8 1 CO. Who Died First ? 1 scene 3 1 07. "Nyho's the Actor ? farce, 1 scene 4 93. Wrong Woman iu the Right Place, sketch, 2 scenes '... 2 2 Co Young Scamp, sketch, 1 scene. 3 ll'i The Coming Man, sketch, 1 act 3 Ji 113. Ambition, farce, 2 scenes 7 U 114. One Niglit in a Medical College, pketcli, 1 .^^cone \ 7 J 115. Priv.nte Boarding, comedy, I f?C'ono 5 t IIG. Zacliarias' Funeral, farce- 1 scene 5 Q 117. MctorB'iliows, comedy, 1 scene ^JT^ ^ 118. Hel-^n's Funny Babies, bur- los(iua..... 6 c 119. My V/ife's Visitors, comic drami\ 1 ^cene 6 1 120. Body Snatchers (The), Negro sketch, fi scenes 3 I 121. Stocks Ui^ . Stocks Down J Negro far';^, 1 scene i 123. Ticket; Takef, Ne^ro farce, 1^ scene '9 123. The Inrelliccuce Office, Ethio- pian sketih, i f5cene P 1 124. Deaf as a Post, Ethiopian sketch. 1 sceue. f G 125. Oh, Hush I ^eg-o Operatic <.)lio, 3 scenes 4 1 126. Black Statue, Nefyro farce, 1 scc-ne 4 3 127 Blinks nnd Jinks Kthiopiaa 6ke*;ch, 1 scene. . . 9 \ DE WITT'S DRAWING-ROOM OPERETTAS II^= TO MUSICAL AMATEURS. ,,^1 The number of Musical Amateurs, both ladi:)8 and gentlemen, is not only verf targe, but is constantly increasing, and very naturally, for there is no more re' fined and pleasant mode of spending leisure hours thar in singing and playing th^ choice productions of the best Composers. Hitherto there has been an almost total lack of suitable jneces adapted to an evening's entertainment in Parlors by Amateurs. Of course whole Operas, or even parts of Operas, require orchestral accompani- ments and full choruses to give them effect, and are therefore clearly unfit fof I Amateur performance, while a succession of songs lacks the Interest given by a plot and a ccntrast of characters. In this series {a list of xohich is given below) wfi have endeavored to supply this want. The best Music of popidar Composers is wed- ded to appropriate words, and the whole dovetailed into plots that are effective a# mere 2yetite plays, but are rendered doubly interesting by the appropriate and beai^ tiful Music, specially arranged for them. LIST OF DE WITT'S MUSICAL PLAYS. PRICE 15 CENTS EACH. LEAP YEAR— A Musical Dual- ity. By Alfred B. Sedgwick. Mu- sic selected and adapted from Of- fenbach's celebrated Opera, " Gene- rieve de Brabant.'''' One Male, one Female Character. THE TWm SISTEES-Comic Operetta, in One Act. The Music selected from the most popular num- bers in Le Cocq's celebrated Opera Bouffe, " Girofle Girojla,''' and the Libretto written by Alfred B. Sedg- wick. Two Male, Two Female Characters. SOLD AGAIN AND GOT THE MONEY.— Comic Operetta, in One Act. The Music composed and the Libretto written by Alfred B. Sedg- wick. Three Male, Ono Female Character. THE QUEEEEST OOTJRTSHIP. —Comic Operetta, iu One Act. The Music arranged from Offenbach's celebrated Opera, " La Princesse de Trebizonde,'''' and the Libretto writ- ten by Alfred B. Sedgwick. One Male, One Female Character. ESTEANGEDr-An Operetta, in One Act, The Musie arranged from Verdi's celebrated Opera, "// Trov- atore:' and the feibretto adapted by Alfred B. Sedgwick. Two Male, One Female Character. OIEOUMSTANOES ALTER CASES.— Comic Operetta, in One Act. The music composed and the Libretto written by Alfred B. Sedg- wick. One Male, One Female Char* MY WALKING PHOTOGEAPH. — Musical Duality, in One Act. Tha Music arranged from Le Cocq's Opera, "ia Fille de Madame Angot,''' and the Libretto written by A LFUfi!e;iu l.ig'tit.M, (Jolored Fires, and all the various articles needed to throw the effects of sunlight, moonlight, and lirelight upon faces, groups or scenery. All prepared entirely harmless. iTlu<»ic:il li»striiiiie>it«*, of every variety, plain and highly ornamented. I?lHsic:il Instruction ISocoks, Manuals for the Guitv»r, the Banjo, tha Violins, the Accordeon, the Violincello, the Clarionet, Cornopeon, Fife and Drum. *** For full particulars, list of prices, and description, send for Be Witt's PfannnBotU <:sit:iloiijrJie, which will be forward free and postage paid to an>' address in the United States or Caaada. Address, "■" \XJ.. V « I>E WITT, 33 Mose Street, IVe^^v York, PAT RODNEY'S " Quaint Conundrums and Funny Gags, Interlarded -wrStU RollickiniE? Stories— Irislj Wit and Hu« tnor — Chinese Sketclies— Slieeney Soft Sawder, etc., etc. ISoiind to tickle tlie ribs of tlic lean, and make tlieni j^roTV fat at tlie fun ; ^evliile tl»e over-stout %vill lau^h off all tfaieir superfluous fat, reading' Kooney's jokes, always so pat. This is a very neatly printed book, and has a fine Lithograph Picture of Pat Rooney on the cover, i'licc JJ5 «tcliiiest Drolleries, Tke Most Kollickinsr Kepartees, 'J'lie CJassicst Ciag-s, and the freatest Avalanche of Anecdotes that ever Lassoed Laughers ! ! by Our German enator, who for this occasion, leaves the affairs of the natiqn to find food for a vhole continent of fun-loving constituents. Price 25 €ejJts. HIS GAGS AND STUMP SPEECHES | NIGGER AND DUTCH STORIES AND DIALOGUES ; " Broken Chinee " Dialect Pieces 5 and Queer Conundrums, Price 13 Cents, *** Single copies of the above booJcs sent, postage free, to any address in the United States or Canada, on receipt of price. Address. J.^T' ' , DE WITT, Publisher, " 83 Rose Street^ Ne^cr York* DE WITT'S ACTING PLAYS (Continued). No. 144. M. 137. 111. 119. 165. 48. 32. 164. 109. 85. 87. 143. 189. 163. 154. C3. 39. 7. 49. 15. 46. 51. 184. 108. 188. 169. 130. 92. 193. 140. 2. 57. 104. 112. 185. 84. 117. 171. 14. ■t73. 176. 90. 170. 97. 66. 172, 94. 45. 155. 178. \ 147. I 156. 82. 23 Lancashire Lass, melodrama, 5 acts.l2 Larkins' Love Letters, farce, 1 act . . 3 L' Article 47, drama, 3 acts 11 Liar (The), comedy, 2 acts V Life Chase, drama, 5 acts 14 Living Statue (The), farce, 1 act 3 Little Annie's Birthday, farce, 1 act. 2 Little Rebel, farce, 1 act 4 Little Ruby, drama, 3 acts 6 Locked In, comedietta, 1 act 2 Locked In with a Lady, sketch, 1 act. 1 Locked Out, comic scene 1 Lodgers an.l Dodgers, farce, 1 act. . 4 Leap Year, musical duality, 1 act. . . 1 Marcoretti, drama, 3 acts 10 Maria and Magdalena, play, 4 acts . 8 Marriage at Any Price, farce, 1 act. 5 Master Jones' Birthday, farce, 1 act. 4 Maud's Peril, drama, 4 acts 5 Midnight Watch, drama, 1 act 9 Milky White, drama, 2 acts 4 Miriam's Crime, drama, 3 acts 5 Model of a Wife, farce, 1 act 3 Money, comedy, 5 acts 17 Mr. Scroggins, farce, 1 act 3 Mr. X., farce, 1 act 3 My Uncle's Suit, farce, 1 act 4 My Wife's Diar^', farce, 1 act 3 My Wife's Out, farce, 1 act 2 My Walking Photograph, musical duality, 1 act 1 Never Reckon Your Chxkens, etc., farce, 1 act 3 New Men and Old Acres, comedy, 3 8 Nobody's child, drama, 3 acts 8 Noemie, drama, 2 acts 4 No Name, drama, 5 acts 7 Not a Bit Jealous, farce, 1 act 3 Not So Bad as We Seem, play, 5 acts.l4 Not Guilty, drama, 4 acts 10 Not Sucli a Fool as He Looks, drama, 3 acts,... 5 No hing Like Paste, farce, 1 act 3 No Thoroughfare, drama, 5 acts and prologue 13 Off the Stage, comedietta, 1 act 3 On Bread and Water, farce, 1 act... 1 Only a iJalfpenny, farce, 1 act 2 Only Somebody, farce, 1 act 4 One too Man/ for Him, farce, 1 act. 3 £100,000^ comedy, 3 acts 8 Orange Blo-soniB, comedietta, 1 act. 3 Orange Girl, drama, in prologue and 3 acts 18 Ours, comedy, v.^cts 6 Our' Clerks, fare?, 1 act 7 Our Domestics, comedy farce, 2 acts •Our Heroes, military piay. 5 acts. . .24 Out at Sea, drama in prologue and 4 acts 16 Overland Route, comedy, 3 acts. . ..11 Peace at Any Price, farce, 1 act 1 Peep o' Day, drama, 4 acts 12 Peggy Green, fan e, 1 act 3 10 Petticoat Parliament, extravaganza, in one act 15 24 Photographic Fix, farce, 1 act 3 2 A COMPLETE No. X. !•. 61. Plot and Passion, drama, 3 Acts 7 2 138. Poll and Partner Joe, burlesque, 1 act 10 3 110. Poppleton's Predicaments, farce, 13 6 50. Porter's Knot, drama, 2 acts 8 2 59. Post Boy, drama, 2 acts 5 3 95. Pretty Horse-Breaker, farce, 1 act.. 3 10 181 and 182. Queen Mary, drama, 4 act8.38 8 157. Quite at Home, comedietta, 1 act. .. 5 2 196. Queerest Courtship (The), comic op eretta, 1 act 1 1 132 Race for a Dinner, farce, 1 act 10 183. Richelieu, play, 5 acts 16 2 38. Rightful Heir, drama, 5 acts 10 2 77. Roll of the Drum, drama, 3 acts.... 8 4 13. Ruy Bias, drama, 4 acts 12 4 194. Rum, drama, 3 acts 7 4 195. Rosemi Shell, travesty, 1 act, 4 scenes 6 3 158. School, comedy, 4 acts 6 6 79. Sheep in Wolf's Clothing, drama, 17 5 37. Silent Protector, farce, 1 act 3 2 35. Silent Woman, farce, 1 act 2 1 43. Sisterly Service, comedietta, 1 act.. 7 2 6. Six Months Ago, comedietta, 1 act. 2 1 10. Snapping Turtles, duologue, 1 act. . 1 1