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"WHAT'S IN A NAME?" 
 
 COMEDY IN ONE ACT 
 
 BY 
 
 FANNY CANNON 
 
 AUTHOR OF 
 
 ' Writing and Selling a Play, " " The Lady of the Opera House, ' ' 
 ' ' T/ie Love Laggard. ' ' 
 
 CO-AUTHOR 
 
 ^The Mark of the Beast ,^' {Produced at the Princess, New York). 
 "Meow! " 
 
 dedicated to 
 The New York Theatre Club 
 
 CHICAGO: 
 
 T. S. DENISON & COMPANY 
 
 Publishers 
 

 "WHAT'S IN A NAME?" 
 
 Written especially for President s Day, New 
 York Theatre Club, and produced under the 
 direction of the author on the occasion of the 
 Club s Annual Breakfast, at the Hotel Astor, 
 April 21, 1914, with the following cast of 
 professional players : 
 
 James Everett .... Edwin Cushman 
 
 Bertram TownSEND . . George Prober/ 
 Irene MaCEY Anna Wynne 
 
 Kate Bradford .... Fanny Cannon 
 Maggie McGinnis ... Amy Ames 
 
 NOTICE ! 
 
 Production of this play is free to amateurs, but the 
 sole professional rights are reser\-ed by the author, who 
 may be addressed in care of the Publishers. 
 
 COPYRIGHT, 1916, BY EBEN H. NORRIS. 
 
 P- 
 
 ^OV -4J9L6, 
 
 G)C1.D 4535)5 TMP92-008799 
 
"WHAT'S IN A NAME?" 
 
 DRAMATIS PERSONN^. 
 
 James Everett The Husband 
 
 Bertram Townsend A Neighbor 
 
 Irene Macey A Bride 
 
 Kate Bradsford Her Friend 
 
 Maggie McGinnis Her "General Girl" 
 
 Time — A Morning in Early April. 
 
 Place — Any Large City. 
 
 Place — A Harlem Flat, Nczu York City. 
 
 Time of Playing — About Twenty-five Minutes. 
 
4 "WHAT'S IN A NAME?" 
 
 COSTUMES AND CHARACTERISTICS. 
 
 Jim — A young business man, well groomed and of 
 pleasing appearance. Wears overcoat on entering. His 
 hat and gloves are on the table. 
 
 Bertram — A well groomed man of about thirty years. 
 Wears gloves and carries his hat. 
 
 Irene — A pretty little woman with a decided manner 
 and personality. About twenty-five years of age. Attired 
 in a house dress. 
 
 Kate — She is dressed for her morning's marketing. A 
 well groomed young woman with a comfortable, pleasing 
 manner. 
 
 Maggie — An Irish general housework girl. Wears a 
 gingham apron and a work cap. Later, hat and coat. 
 Her manner expresses grim disapproval, verging on im- 
 pudence. 
 
 PROPERTY LIST. 
 
 Packing box of books, for Irene to unpack. 
 Door-bell to ring, ofT stage. 
 Cheap bag or suitcase for Maggie. 
 Money (paper bill) for Jim. 
 Wedding ring for Jim. 
 
 STAGE DIRECTIONS. 
 
 R. means right of stage; C, center; R. C, right center; 
 L., left ; upstage, away from footlights ; downstage, near 
 footlights. The actor is supposed to be facing the audi- 
 ence. 
 
"WHAT'S IN A NAME?'* 
 
 Scene — The sitting-room of a smull apartment. As the 
 occupants have just jnored in, the pictures are leaning 
 against the walls. A chair is just right of center. An- 
 other smaller chair is a little left. A box of hooks is 
 about center, upstage. A small table is up left, in the 
 angle of the tzvo doors. One of these, leading to the 
 hall, is in the left wall; the other, leading to the adjoin- 
 ing room, is in the rear wall, near the angle where it 
 joins the left. Other chairs and furnishings are ar- 
 ranged in disorderly groups. 
 
 At Rise — Irene, a pretty little woman with a decided 
 manner and personality, is bending over the box of 
 books. 
 
 Jim, with his overcoat on, enters through the door at 
 
 back. His hat and gloves are on table up left. 
 
 He is a young business man, zvell groomed 
 
 and of pleasing appearance. 
 
 Jim. 
 I hate to leave you to do all this. 
 Irene. 
 {Straightening up.) 
 Oh. don't you worry about that. {Seeing he has on his 
 coat.) Are you starting? 
 
 Jim. 
 Yes ; I'm late now. Should have been in the office by 
 ten. But one doesn't marry, and move, and hire a girl, 
 all in one day, without feeling a little like lingering next 
 morning, eh? Iyce^e. 
 
 {Going up to him and cuddling close.) 
 I think we were so sensible not to have a honeymoon, 
 and begin right off being just married people. Don't 
 you? 
 
 5 
 
6 "WHAT'S IN A NAME?" 
 
 Jim. 
 {Laughing.) 
 I don't mind. But I suppose every old granny in town 
 would cackle about it, if we hadn't moved so far uptown 
 that they may think we've gone to Washington or Niag- 
 ara Falls, any way. 
 
 Irene. 
 {Decidedly.) 
 It wouldn't matter, at that. We are going to do just 
 as you and I think best, aren't we? 
 
 Jim. 
 That's what we decided, and it goes. And now I must 
 be off. I'll get back for a bite of lunch, so it won't be 
 long. 
 
 Irene. 
 It's so nice of your people to have an office on 125th 
 Street. t 
 
 JlM. 
 
 {Taking up his hat and gloves.) 
 You won't be lonesome? 
 
 Irene. 
 I'll try not. I've heaps to do — and a new girl to break 
 in — but I'll be glad to see you again. 
 
 Jim. 
 {With mock heroics.) 
 How can I bear to leave thee ! 
 
 Irene. 
 {Laughing, with a playful pusJi.) 
 Duty calls. So off with you! {He kisses her and to- 
 gether they ivalk to the hall door, L. He exits. She 
 calls after Jiini.) It'll be a long time until lunch. {She 
 closes the door and comes back zvith a half sigh. Then, 
 remembering the task before her, goes back to her un- 
 packing. There is a knock at the door, back left.), 
 Come in. 
 
"WHAT'S IN A NAME?" 1 
 
 Enter Maggie. She is a type of tlie Irish general house- 
 work girl, in a gingham apron and work cap. 
 Throughout the play her manner expresses 
 grim disapproval, verging on impudence. 
 
 Irene. 
 Well, Maggie. 
 
 Maggie. 
 If you please, ma'am — I should say, miss — there's 
 roaches in the kitchen sink, and I don't hold with roaches. 
 
 Irene. 
 Oh, how horrid! Isn't there something we can get? 
 
 Maggie. 
 {Disapproving of her ignorance.) 
 Sure. There's lots of things. 
 
 Irene. 
 Well, make a list of everything like that we need, and 
 go to the corner grocer's — we arranged to trade there 
 yesterday. ^^^^^^^ 
 
 {Her nose up.) 
 
 We ! 
 
 Irene. 
 
 {A little surprised at her manner.) 
 Mr. Everett and I. 
 
 Maggie. 
 Oh, ye did. Well, I'll go, ma'am — I should say miss. 
 (with every line of her face and figure expressing her 
 disapproval, she exits door back left. Irene, alone, 
 frowns a little over the encounter, as her eyes follow 
 Maggie to the door. She returns to her work. A distant 
 ring at door hell is heard.) 
 
 Kate. 
 (Outside, to Maggie.) 
 Does Mrs. Everett live here? 
 
8 "WHAT'S IX A NAME?" 
 
 Maggie. 
 (^0 lit Slide.) 
 Mrs. Everett, is it? Miss Macey lives here. 
 
 Kate. 
 Oh ! Is she in? {The voices arc listened to zmth some 
 surprise by Irene. She goes quickly to the door left. 
 Opens it.) 
 
 Irene. 
 
 Come right in, Kate. 
 
 Kate Bradford enters. She is dressed for her morning's 
 
 marketing — a ivell groomed young woman zvith a 
 
 comfortable, easy manner, suave, pleasant, 
 
 clever. 
 
 Irene. 
 Do sit here. {She motions her to the chair right.) 
 That's the worst of these flats. I suppose you rang the 
 back door bell. 
 
 Kate. 
 {Sitting back comfortably.) 
 It was dreadful of me to come like this, in the midst 
 of your unpacking and getting to rights — 
 
 Irene. 
 
 ( Cordially, interrupting. ) 
 Not a bit of it. I'm very glad to see you. But how 
 did you know I was here? 
 
 Kate. 
 {Laughs.) 
 Now, that's our pleasant little New York way. Have 
 you forgotten I live across the street? 
 
 Irene. 
 {Laughs, sits chair left.) 
 That's one on me, isn't it? It's the worst of visits a la 
 telephone. So you saw us moving in yesterday ? 
 
"WHAT'S IN A NAME?" 9 
 
 Kate. 
 Yes. And as I was coming from the butchers this 
 morning I met Mr. Everett, and he suggested my drop- 
 ping in. 
 
 Irene. 
 What was the argument I heard in the hall? 
 Kate. 
 (Laughing.) 
 My dear, I think your maid disapproves of you.- 
 
 Irene. 
 Her manner is strange. Jim got her from the intelli- 
 gence office late yesterday. 
 
 Kate. 
 You and Jim seem to have spent a strange wedding 
 day — what with moving and everything else. 
 
 Irene. 
 You know my views — and we decided to be very sen- 
 sible. 
 
 Kate. 
 I judge by the kitchen lady's remark that one of your 
 views is striking a snag already. 
 
 Irene. 
 (A little obstinately.) 
 How so? 
 
 Kate. 
 
 (Getting up and going over to her, putting her hand on 
 
 her shoulder.) 
 
 My dear child, you're really not going to put your little 
 
 theory regarding names into actual practice right here 
 
 in a Harlem flat ? 
 
 Irene. 
 (Obstinately.) 
 I am. What's the use of believing in a theory if you're 
 not prepared to live up to it? 
 
10 "WHAT'S IN A NAME?" 
 
 Kate. 
 {Turning center.) 
 Yes, of course, in most things. But in this case^ — {she 
 stops center, facing Irene) you ought to carry a placard 
 with, you. {She returns to her chair and sits. Irene 
 giz'es her an inquiring look.) "1 am a pioneer, working 
 out a new idea!" That's good. It's poetry. {She speaks 
 in a sing-song manner.) I am a pioneer, working out a 
 new idea. 
 
 Irene. 
 {Slightly annoyed, jumps up and starts upstage, flicking 
 her left hand out at Kate as she passes her.) 
 Oh, nonsense ! nonsense ! 
 
 Kate. 
 {Catching her hand and examining the fingers.) 
 And no wedding ring! Oh, now, Irene, I must talk 
 to you ! 
 
 Irene. 
 {Making an impatient little gesture.) 
 Jim and I are entirely agreed in this. 
 
 Kate. 
 
 My dear, Jim is in that state of honeymoon bliss that 
 he'd agree to your putting on a sky-blue pink wig to go 
 to market, if you chose. So, don't quote Jim to me at 
 this stage of the game. 
 
 Irene. 
 {Coming forivard a little.) 
 But Kate, you know how I've always held that a woman 
 had a right to her own name all her life — and here's my 
 chance to prove it. 
 
 Kate. 
 
 {Sitting straight up.) 
 
 Look here, Irene Macey — no. I zvon't say that — Irene 
 
 Everett, if you were a professional woman and wanted 
 
 to keep your name as a sort of trademark in vour busi- 
 
"WHAT'S IN A NAME?" 11 
 
 ness relations, I wouldn't say a word. That's a thing 
 every one does these days. But you're not. You're just 
 a clever girl interested in all new ideas, and you've gone 
 dotty about one of them. 
 
 Irene. 
 I haven't. Besides {she returns to her chair), you 
 ought to agree with me. You're a suffragist, too. 
 
 Kate. 
 
 {Settling hack comfortably again.) 
 
 Oh, yes. But that's the worst of you extremists. You 
 
 will insist on fogging the real issue in your efforts to 
 
 prove your own particular pet theory. Believe me, you're 
 
 "troubling trouble" with a vengeance. 
 
 Irene. 
 {Looking superior.) 
 I'll take a chance. {There is a knock at the door hack 
 left.) Come in. 
 
 Enter Maggie. {She comes a little center.) 
 
 Irene. 
 What is it now, Maggie? 
 
 Maggie, 
 If you plaze, ma'am — I should say, miss — (Kate turns 
 aside to hide a smile) I wint to the grocer's and ordered 
 some things for Mrs Everett — to be charged — and he said 
 he didn't know anny sich person — {Jier virtuous indigna- 
 tion rising) thin I said maybe 'twas Macey — Miss Macey 
 — and he said, yis, it was. (Irene looks annoyed, Kate 
 amused.) You'd ought to have seen the look he gave me. 
 
 Irene. 
 I don't see why you come to me with all this. 
 
 Maggie. 
 Well, ma'am — I should say, miss — the grocer's boy is 
 after havin' brought the things — they was for Miss Ma- 
 
12 . "WHAT'S fN A NAME?" 
 
 cey — and he winked at me. I told him he was too fresh, 
 
 and he axed me if I wasn't gettin' pretty good wages, 
 
 and — 
 
 Irene. 
 
 {Sternly, rising.) 
 That will do, Maggie. 
 
 Maggie. 
 
 (Sniffs I'irtnonsly and turns back to the door. There she 
 
 faces Irene.) 
 
 But remember, ma'am — miss — I don't have to stand 
 
 no impident grocer's snips. (With her head up she 
 
 exits. ) 
 
 (Following her up center.) 
 
 Impertinence ! 
 (Kate, unable to control herself any longer, laughs 
 heartily.) 
 How dare you! Oh, I suppose you think I'll give in. 
 But I won't — I won't. 
 
 Kate. 
 (Going to her and taking her by the arms.) 
 But, dear girl, the whole situation is so unnecessary. 
 You are still you, no matter what you call yourself. 
 (Walking a little away from her.) As for adding your 
 husband's name to your own, why object? (Facing 
 Irene.) It's only one way of indicating a partnership. 
 
 Irene. 
 (Walking dozvn left.) 
 But so many women drop their own names altogether. 
 
 Kate. 
 
 (Laughs.) 
 
 Yes. I got so tired of being Katie Smith I was only 
 
 too glad to have Mrs. LeRoy Bradford on my visiting 
 
 cards. And Kate Bradford sounds so nice. So strong, 
 
 so individual ! 
 
"WHAT'S IN A NAME?" 13 
 
 Irene. 
 
 {Snapping her up.) 
 Individual ! It isn't your individuality. 
 Kate. 
 {Easily.) 
 Oh, isn't it? Well, you just let anyone try to call my 
 husband "Kate." That's as individually my name as 
 LeRoy is his. (Irene sniffs contemptuously.) All right. 
 But if you'd ever been called, for instance, Sadie Dinkel- 
 spieler for years, I'll bet you wouldn't be so anxious to 
 hold to your maiden name when the law gave you the 
 right to call yourself Sarah Pendleton. 
 
 Irene. 
 (Returning to her chair. She does not sit.) 
 You're quibbling. j^^^^ 
 
 Am I ? Well, here's a facer. What are you going to 
 call your children? 
 
 Irene. 
 {Drawing herself up.) 
 We hadn't begun to talk of children. 
 Kate. 
 {Bluntly.) 
 Well, you'd better. They do happen, you know. 
 Irene. 
 {As if the answer was quite simple.) 
 Why, of course, they would take both our names. 
 
 Kate. 
 Macey-Everett. Not bad. {A thought strikes her. 
 She laughs, turnimg upstage, right.) But what a nice 
 bunch of hyphens there'll be in a few generations. 
 
 Irene. 
 (Sitting and facing her.) 
 Hbw's that? 
 
14 "WHAT'S IN A NAME?" 
 
 Kate. 
 {Enjoying the situation.) 
 
 Well, let's see. You have a daughter, Mary — Mary 
 Macey-Everett. She marries Thomas Simpson-Jordan. 
 They have a daughter, Jane — Jane Macey-Everett-Simp- 
 son-Jordan. Well, Jane — etcetera — marries Jones — of 
 course he'll have a string of hyphens, too, but I'll leave 
 them out — their daughter would be Lucy Macey-Everett- 
 Simpson- Jordan-Jones — and all his hyphens — and so on, 
 ad libitum, ad infinitum, ad nauseam! {She throzvs up 
 her hands with the last ivords, coming dozvn right.) 
 
 Irene. 
 (Rising, putting her hands to her ears.) 
 Stop! Stop! Of course it's simple. Some of them 
 would have to be dropped. 
 
 Kate. 
 {Facing her.) 
 Which ? Papa's or mamma's ? You'd have to play fair, 
 you know — no favorites. {With a change of tone and 
 manner, coming to her.) But there; I've teased you 
 enough — and on my first visit, too. I must get home. 
 {She crosses to the door.) But I'd think it over if I 
 were you. I'll see you at the meeting Thursday ? 
 
 Irene. 
 {Still slightly daced.) 
 Oh, yes ; I'll be there. 
 
 Kate. 
 Good. Until then. {She exits. Irene remains at the 
 open door. Kate's voice is heard outside.) Why, Ber- 
 tram Townsend, where did you drop from? Here, wait 
 a minute. I want you to renew your acquaintance with 
 an old friend. (Irene's face shows interest.) 
 
 Kate re-enters, follozved by Bertram Townsend, a well 
 
 groomed man of about thirty. He is gloved and 
 
 carries his hat in his hand. 
 
"WHAT'S IN A NAME?" 15 
 
 Irene. 
 Why, Mr. Townsend ! Do you live in the apartment ? 
 
 TOWNSEND. 
 
 Yes. I keep bachelor hall just two flights up. But I 
 didn't know you'd moved in, Miss Macey. 
 
 Kate. 
 
 {Smiling wickedly.) 
 I'll leave you and — Miss Macey, as I must hurry home. 
 The children will be coming home for lunch. {She nods 
 good-bye and exits.) 
 
 Irene. 
 {Going right.) 
 Won't you sit down? 
 
 Townsend. 
 {Closing the door after Kate^ places his hat on the table 
 left and sits chair left.) 
 It's a long time since we met, isn't it? 
 
 Irene. 
 Yes, quite a year, I think. You've been away? 
 
 Townsend. 
 Yes. {He shows great interest in her.) 1 tried to find 
 you — in fact I wrote. 
 
 Irene. 
 I had no letters. But then, so many go astray. ( There 
 is a knock at the door back left.) Come in. 
 
 Enter Maggie. She sho7vs surprised indignation at the 
 sight of a strange man. 
 
 Maggie. 
 {Eyeing Townsend with meaning disapproi'al. He does 
 not notice her at all.) 
 I beg pardon, ma'am — I should say, miss — it's only 
 that the meat has came. 
 
16 "WHAT'S I.\ A NAME?" 
 
 Irene. 
 
 {A trifle impatiently.) 
 
 Well, put it in the refrigerator. 
 
 Maggie. 
 
 Yes, ma'am — miss. I can see you want to be alone. 
 
 Irene. 
 Maggie! (Maggie looks ttpzvard, as if turning the 
 zvhole affair over to higher poivers, then with a shrug she 
 exits. Embarrassed , Irene turns back to Townsend, 
 zvho has been politely ignoring the scene.) 
 You were saying? 
 
 Townsend. 
 Oh, yes. I wrote — once or twice, I think — and then I 
 tried to find you on my return. 
 
 Irene. 
 When did you get back to New York ? 
 
 Townsend. 
 About a month ago — and I can't tell you how glad I am 
 to see you again and that you're still Miss Macey. 
 
 Irene. 
 (Sticking to her guns.) 
 Oh, yes, I'm still Miss Macey — but — 
 
 Townsend. 
 I mean to see quite a little of you, now that I've found 
 you, and we'll go about a bit. What are you doing this 
 evening? 
 
 Irene. 
 (Awkwardly.) 
 
 Well, you see — you don't understand. Mr. Everett 
 will be here — he comes home early — 
 
 Townsend. 
 (Rising, surprised.) 
 Home! Mr. Everett! He /?i'^.y here ! With you? 
 
"WHAT'S IN A KAME?" 17 
 
 Irene. 
 {Defiantly.) 
 Of course. Why not? 
 
 TOWNSEND. 
 
 {Dazed, sits again.) 
 Oh, yes! of course. Why not! (He passes his hand 
 
 oz'er his forehead.) 
 
 Irene. 
 
 (Icily, rising and turning right.) 
 It's usual, I beHeve, for a man and wife to Hve to- 
 gether. 
 
 ToWNSEND. 
 
 Alan and wife! You are married? 
 
 Irene. 
 
 (Indignantly.) 
 
 Of course. How dared you suppose anything else? 
 
 Townsend. 
 
 (Defending himself, rising.) 
 
 But — you didn't say you were. 
 
 Irene. 
 Does a man always have to inform every one he is 
 
 married. t, 
 
 Townsend. 
 
 {Bewildered.) 
 
 But — I don't understand. You call yourself Miss 
 
 Mace}" — you wear no ring — ♦■ 
 
 Irene. 
 (Launched on her hobby.) 
 That's the way! Because I'm married I must change 
 my name, and put on a slave's badge. Why should I be 
 labeled any more than a man? 
 
 Townsend. 
 (IVJio has not thought about it before.) 
 Why — I suppose — it's the custom — 
 
18 "WHAT'S IN A NAME?" 
 
 Irene. 
 ( Contemptuously.) 
 Custom ! _, 
 
 TOWNSEND. 
 
 And a sort of protection. 
 
 Irene. 
 Well, I don't need that kind of protection. 
 
 ToWNSEND. 
 
 {Going back to his own grievance.) 
 But it leads to so many misunderstandings. People 
 think that you are free — men feel that they have a right 
 to-care for you. j^^^^ 
 
 (With the trinmphant air of one scoring a point.) 
 How about the men who let women think they are free 
 to be loved? TowNSEND. 
 
 (Earnestly.) 
 Oh, yes — but decent men call such men cads. 
 Irene. 
 (Walking about.) 
 I fail to see what business it is of society's, whether a 
 woman is married or single, with or without children, 
 any more than it is about a man. 
 
 Townsend. 
 Wait a bit. Not so fast. You forget that Uncle Sam 
 is very much interested in a little matter he calls Vital 
 Statistics. Tiie state zvants to know whether a man is 
 married and has children. 
 
 Irene. 
 (Impatiently, seating herself.) 
 Yes — but socially — socially they don't care a jot. 
 
 Townsend. 
 (Walking about.) 
 Oh, don't they? Well, just you try being a bachelor 
 for awhile, and listen to the things they say about us. 
 
"WHAT'S IN A NAME?" 19 
 
 We encumber the earth ; we're too selfish to share our 
 incomes and our bureau drawers ; and the latest thing is 
 to hold the non-marrying bachelor responsible for the 
 decrease in the birth rate. 
 
 Irene. 
 {Obstinately.) 
 It's no one's business. 
 
 TOWNSEND. 
 
 Maybe it isn't. But they're jolly well making it their 
 
 business. _ 
 
 Irene. 
 
 {Rising and facing him.) 
 
 Well, then, if it's as important as all that, why not get 
 
 married? ™ 
 
 ToWNSEND. 
 
 {Seriously.) 
 You see, I haven't quite got over the shock of your 
 being married, Mrs. Everett. 
 
 Irene. 
 I'm not Mrs. Everett — I'm Miss Macey. 
 
 ToWNSEND. 
 
 {Slowly, as he goes to take his hat from the table.) 
 Oh, if you insist upon it. Only it's going to be a bit 
 awkward for your friends. 
 
 Irene. 
 Awkward. I don't understand. 
 
 ToWNSEND. 
 
 Introducing you around. Lord ! There's a situation 
 for you! Mr. and Mrs. Ev — Miss Macey, Mr. Everett. 
 It isn't if you were a well known actress, for instance. 
 Even then, they're usually Mrs. Something-or-other to 
 the butcher and the baker. 
 
 Irene. 
 I don't see what that has to do with it. 
 
20 "WHAT'S IN A NAME?" 
 
 TOWNSEND. 
 
 {Turning to the door, left, with a slight shrug.) 
 Oh, well, don't be surprised if other men make love 
 to you — and not quite as respectfully as I've done it. 
 
 Irene. 
 I think you're horrid — perfectly horrid ! 
 
 ToWNSEND. 
 
 {At the door.) 
 I'm sorry. But believe me, I'm not a circumstance to 
 what you'll get elsewhere. And, is it worth it? A rose 
 by any other name, you know. 
 
 Maggie, zvithout apron or cap, enters nnthout knocking 
 
 from the door back left. Townsend looks at 
 
 her, then starts to go. 
 
 Townsend. 
 Good morning. 
 
 Irene. 
 {Remembering her manners.) 
 Oh, please come again sometime. 
 
 Townsend. 
 I will — some evening. Good-bye. {He exits.) 
 
 Irene. 
 
 {Severely, to Maggie.) 
 
 Maggie, never again enter a room without knocking. 
 
 Maggie. 
 {Impudently.) 
 Knocking, is it! Sure, and I've stood enough. I'm 
 after lavin'. This is no place for a respectable girl. 
 
 Irene. 
 {Furious.) 
 Maggie! How dare you! Leave the room this minute! 
 
"WHAT'S IN A NAME?" 21 
 
 Maggie. 
 Sure, I'm goin'. But I shouldn't be doin' my duty as 
 an honest woman if I didn't tell you what I think of this 
 place before I go. What with grocers' winks, and Miss 
 Maceys, and Mr. Everetts — and gentleman callers in the 
 mornin', an' no weddin' ring — an' all — 
 
 Irene. 
 
 ^^^^^ ■ Maggie. 
 
 I'll go to confession this very day. Father Donnell 
 wouldn't lave me to stay one minute — such goin's on, 
 ma'am — I should say miss — I niver expected to get into 
 — and — 
 
 Irene. 
 
 {Exasperated, yet zvith a certain patient insistence.) 
 But — I have explained to you — carefully — Mr. Ever- 
 ett and I are quite properly married. 
 
 Maggie. 
 Axin' your pardon, ma'am — miss — I don't belave it. 
 
 Irene. 
 {Angrily.) 
 There, Maggie. I've heard quite enough. You will 
 go this instant — at once ! 
 
 Maggie. 
 {Impudently.) 
 Yes, ma'am — miss — that's what I said. I hope you'll 
 turn over a new leaf, and be a dacint woman in future. 
 {Feeling she has had the best of the encounter, she exits, 
 hack left, triumphantly. Irene, furious and disgusted, 
 throws herself into the chair right, dissolved in tears. A 
 key is heard in the lo<k.) 
 
 Enter Jim. Seeing his wife's distress, he lays down hat, 
 
 gloves and overcoat, all of which he has taken off 
 
 on his way through the hall, and comes 
 
 to her quickly. 
 
22 -WHAT'S IN A NAME?" 
 
 Jim. 
 My darling girl, what on earth is the matter ? 
 
 Irene. 
 (Rising, throws herself in his amis, speaking through 
 her sobs.) 
 Oh, I've had a wretched morning! 
 
 Jim. 
 My dearest ! 
 
 Irene. 
 
 (Betzveen sobs.) 
 Yes. First, Kate, then Mr. Townsend — 
 
 Jim. 
 Mr. Townsend ? 
 
 Irene. 
 
 Yes, I used to know him — he lives upstairs — and now 
 Maggie ! 
 
 Jim. 
 (Completely be-ivildered.) 
 
 But I don't understand. What have all these people 
 to do with it 
 
 Irene. 
 
 (Lifting up her left hand.) 
 It's this ! 
 
 Jim. 
 (Taking it and looking at it.) 
 It's a very nice hand. What's the matter with it ? 
 
 Irene. 
 
 (Points at the ring finger.) 
 That ! 
 
 Jim. 
 
 (A light dawning on him.) 
 Oh, I see. And they've all been horrid about it? 
 Surely (with growing indignation) — surely no one has 
 dared to suggest — 
 
"WHAT'S IN A NAME?" 23 
 
 Irene. 
 Oh, no — that is, no one but Maggie. She's leaving 
 {again she sobs on his breast) be-because she says we're 
 not respectable. (Her voice ends in a wail.) 
 
 Jim. 
 There, now. You sit down, and I'll settle Maggie. 
 
 Irene. 
 {Clinging to him.) 
 You can't ! She's going — and she can't go too quick. 
 (There is a very loud knock at the door back left.) 
 
 Jim. 
 {Impatiently.) 
 Come in. 
 Enter Maggie in hat and jacket, carrying a bag. 
 
 Jim. 
 
 Oh, it's you. 
 
 Maggie. 
 
 (Defiantly.) 
 
 Yes, sir, it's me! And, if you plaze, I'll take a half 
 
 day's wages — and if you want to look at me bag to see 
 
 if I've taken any spoons, you can! 
 
 Irene. 
 (To Jim.) 
 For heaven's sake, give her anything — only let her go 
 quickly ! 
 
 Jim. 
 (Taking out a bill zvithout looking at it and handing it 
 to Maggie.) 
 Here, now ! And you and your bag, get out quick ! 
 
 Maggie. 
 It can't be too quick for me. I've no likin' to be con- 
 taminated. 
 
24 "WHAT'S IN A NAME?" 
 
 (A furious gesture from Jim sojuewhat Intrries her 
 exit. But her head is still high, her manner triumphant as 
 she sails out through the door left.) 
 
 Irene. 
 (At Maggie's last word she sinks info the chair right 
 with a ivail.) 
 Contaminated! {She sobs.) 
 
 Jim. 
 {Going to her and putting Jiis hands on her shoulders.) 
 There, there, httle girl ; I wouldn't take it so hard. 
 
 Irene. 
 
 {Rises and leans against him, but does not turn to look 
 
 at him.) 
 
 Jim! 
 
 Jim. 
 
 Yes, dear. 
 
 Irene. 
 
 I don't think the theory— works — well — that is — oh ! 
 
 It's been perfectly awful, and they say it'll be worse. 
 
 Jim. 
 \Vell, what do you think? 
 
 Irene. 
 
 {Turning and hiding her face against him.) 
 
 Perhaps — perhaps you'd better get a wedding ring, 
 
 Jim. , 
 
 Jim. 
 
 {With a grin releases her and dives into his vest pocket. 
 
 She watches him curiously.) 
 
 I've got one. {He drazvs out a zvcdding ring and slips 
 
 it on her finger.) , 
 
 Irene. 
 
 {Breathlessly.) 
 
 You had it all the time! (Jim, to hide a laugh, kisses 
 
 the hand.) You're laughing at me. 
 
"WHAT'S IN A NAME?" 25 
 
 Jim. 
 Oh, no, I'm not — 
 
 Irene. 
 {Jerking her hand aivay.) 
 You were sure I was going to give in. 
 
 Jim. 
 Oh, no; I just had it in case — of — accidents. 
 
 Irene. 
 {Who has not been listening to him, lost in admiring con- 
 templation of her ring, speaks while still gazing at it.) 
 But I've not given in. 
 
 Jim. 
 Oh, no ; of course not. But, come on and get my lunch, 
 Mrs. Everett. i^He laughingly draws her tozvard the 
 door back left.) 
 
 Irene. 
 {Turning quickly as she lets him pull her tozuard thd\ 
 
 door.) 
 Oh, but I'm not going to be Mrs. Everett — 
 
 • Jim. 
 Why, no ; not if you don't want to — that is — not until 
 after lunch. (And so on, ad lib., she protesting as they 
 exit through the back door left.) 
 
 Curtain. 
 
 \ 
 
By Way of the Secret Passage 
 
 By LINDSEY BARBEE. 
 
 Price 25 Cents 
 
 Comedy-drama in 3 acts; 1 male, 11 females. The character 
 of John Harvey can easily be assumed by a girl if it is not de- 
 sirable to have a man in the cast. Time, 1% hours. Scene: 1 
 interior. Characters: Mrs. Sherman, the hostess. Betty Drew, 
 her niece. Ruth, Alice and Rita, guests. Hannah, a maid. 
 Madame Drew, of revolutionary days. Annette, Caroline and 
 Elizabeth, her daughters. Wenonah, an Indian maid. John Har- 
 vey, of the Patriot army. 
 
 SYNOPSIS. 
 
 Act I. — B'etty's engagement dance on Christmas night. The por- 
 trait of Mrs. Elizabeth Drew. Betty's great-great-grandmother. 
 The story of Mistress Elizabeth's romantic career. Ghosts of the 
 happy pair haunt the room each Christmas night. Rita falls 
 asleep in a chair and dreams a dream. 
 
 Act II. — Scene f — The dream of long ago. John Harvey gains 
 an interview with his lady love. The secret mission is made 
 known to Mistress Elizabeth and the marked chart is put into 
 her hands. Shots, pursuit and the secret passage. Scene II — 
 Where is Elizabeth? The mysterious tapping. Elizabeth makes 
 a dramatic entrance and brings astounding news. 
 
 Act III. — Rita awakes. Betty's puzzling absence is discussed. 
 Another mysterious tapping. "He's waiting for me — at the end 
 of the secret passage, the same as in the long, long ago!" 
 
 Abbu San of Old Japan 
 
 By WALTER BEN HARE. 
 
 Price 25 Cents 
 
 Comedy-drama in 2 acts; 15 females. Time, about 2 hours. 
 Scene: A simple interior. Characters: Abbu San, daughter of 
 his majesty. Duchess Fuji-no. Lady Yu-giri, Mist of the Even- 
 ing. O Matsuka San and O Kiku San, maids of honor. Ohano, 
 wife of the bandit chief. Natsu-no, hostess of the inn "Million 
 Welcomes." Okuku, sister of the Ox,' a porter at the inn. Umi, 
 Sada and Y''asa, peasant maids. Henrietta Dash, an American 
 newswriter. Aunt Paradise, a black mammy. Madam Masago, 
 manager of the players. Ono, her maid of all work. 
 
 An absolute novelty in play construction, bristling with inci- 
 dents and sparkling with comedy. The play is presented after 
 the fashion of "The Yellow Jacket," the stage hands changing 
 scenery in full view of the audience and the manager e.xplaining 
 the action and introducing the different characters from her seat 
 at the side. The star part is particularly suited to the tempera- 
 ment of a pretty little ingenue, the characters of Fuji-no and 
 Mist of the Evening call for heavy and effective dramatic work 
 and old Aunt Paradise who longs for "ole Virginny" is a comedy 
 creation of especial note. Dances and song numbers from Mi- 
 kado are called for by the te.xt but these may be given or not at 
 the pleasure of the manager. A picturesque and very effective 
 dramatic entertainment with a distinct plot that will interest and 
 amuse any audience. Suitable for schools, colleges, clubs or 
 churches. 
 
 T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers 
 
 154 W. Randolph Street, CHICAGO 
 
I 
 
 Mrs. Tubbs of Shantytown 
 
 By WALTER BEN HARE. 
 Price, 25 Cents 
 
 Comedy-drama in 3 acts; 4 males, 7 females (5 are children). 
 Time, 2^4 hours. Scene: 1 interior. Characters: Mrs. Tubbs, 
 tile sunshine of Shantytown. Miss Clingie Vine, her lady boarder, 
 real genteel. Mrs. Hickey, a neiglibor wlio hates gossip. Maydelle 
 Campbell, the young school teacher. Simon Rubbels, the corner 
 grocery man. Tom Riordan, tlie census taker. Queenie, aged 
 twelve. Methusalem, aged eleven. Billy, aged seven. Victoria, 
 aged tliree. Elmira, aged ten. 
 
 SYNOPSIS. 
 
 Act I. — Mrs. MoUie Tubbs and her happy little family in 
 Siiantytown. The pretty, young school teacher and the Census 
 Talver have a disagreement. Mrs. Tubbs as first aid to Cupid. 
 Mrs. Hickey expresses lier opinion of Simon Rubbels. Miss Clingie 
 Vine has her census taken. "My maw was a Virginia Hamm, and 
 wlienever we liad company, papaw always wore full evening 
 garbage." Bad news from Kansas. "Tliere ain't no way too far 
 for a mother's love. I'm going to my boy." 
 
 Act II. — A month later. Mrs. Tubbs returns. Simon Rubbels 
 decides to find a wife. "If lie ain't a red-lieaded hippopotamus, 
 there never was one on this green earth." A Shantytown Iiigh 
 jinks with song and menagerie. Clingie Vine decides to be a siren. 
 The liglit in the window for Jimmie. "I've got my babies, and 
 I've got tlieir love, and all the money in the world can't take that 
 from me, so Mr. Simon Rubbles, the honorable Mrs. Tubbs re- 
 spectfully declines your offer of matrimony." 
 
 Act III. — A Shantytown Thanksgiving. Mrs. Hickey brings the 
 news and Miss Vine inherits a fortune. Mr. Rubbels worries Mrs. 
 Tubbs again. "You kin turn me out in tlie streets tomorrow, but 
 tonight tills liouse belongs to me. Now there's the door and 
 tliere's your hat. I won't detain you no longer." Miss Vine and 
 tlie good loolcing grocery boy. ".Jimmie, my boy, my boy!" The 
 return of the Prodigal Son. "I reckon I'm the happiest woman in 
 the United States of America. My cup runneth over, my cup 
 runneth over!" MRS. TUBBS SAYS: 
 
 "Clingie's certainly a long time makin' up her mind, but when 
 slie's sot a steam shovel himself couldn't unset her." 
 
 "I hope and I trust, and when a person hopes and trusts fer 
 a thing they ginerally git it. Everything is bound to come out 
 riglit some time." 
 
 "I ain't goin' to worry. Tliere ain't no use in h'istin' your 
 umbrella until it begins to rain." 
 
 "I jest do what I have to do and make the best of it. Mr. 
 Tubbs used to say that my voice would scare anything, so I jest 
 ti'v to malie it scare the lilues." 
 
 "Bibulous? Bibulous, Theodore Tubbs, bibulous? -Wliy, mister, 
 tliat man didn't know no more about the Bible titan my sister's 
 cat's tail. And what's more, I ain't got no sister. 
 
 "Men is men the hull world over, and it seems jest like it's 
 a man's nature to do that which they oughtn't to do. and to leave 
 undone them things they ought to have did. That's Scripture." 
 
 "What difference does money make? If you've got your youth 
 and your strength and your love, that's worth all the money that 
 was ever made in tliis wliole world." 
 
 "Love your country and stand up fer It to the last ditch. Poor 
 folks can love their country jest the same as rich ones. And better." 
 
 "Keep smiling." ^ _^_____^__^.^.^^_-_^___ 
 
 T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers 
 
 154 W. Randolph Street, CHICAGO 
 
Macbeth a la Mode 
 
 By WALTER BEN HARE. 
 
 Price, 25 Cents 
 
 School burletta in 3 acts; 7 males, 7 females, also teachers, 
 students, etc., with only a few lines. Time, li/4 hours. No scenery 
 required, merely a front curtain and an easel with placards an- 
 nouncing scenes. Plot: Willie Macbeth is tlie social leader of the 
 Senior Class. With his friend Banquo he encounters Three 
 Witches, who prophecy that lie will pass his examinations, be 
 elected to a class office and will play on the football team. The 
 first two prophecies come true and in Act II, Lady Macbeth, his 
 mother, arranges for him to play pn the football team, by drugging 
 the captain. Macbeth flies to the witches for further advice and 
 learns that he will make a touchdown. He does, but runs with 
 the ball toward the enemy's goal, thus losing the game for his 
 own team. Contains five songs: "Fairwell, My Fairy Fay." 
 "Tact," "The Senior Class," "Music and Laugliter" and "Good 
 Night," all sung to college airs. This play is very humorous and 
 particularly adapted for schools. 
 
 THE WITCHES' CHANT 
 
 Round about the cauldron go; 
 
 Mathematics you must know. 
 
 Let X equal tlie cold stone. 
 
 When will Y be thirty-one? 
 
 Drop that in the mystic pan; 
 
 Tell me, pray, how old is Ann? 
 
 Double, double, boil and bubble, 
 
 Matliematics makes them trou- 
 ble. 
 
 Fillet of a fenny snake. 
 
 In the cauldron boil and bake; 
 
 Eye of newt and toe of frog. 
 
 Wool of bat and tongue of dog, 
 
 Biology makes 'em cut and jab. 
 
 Thirteen hours a week in lab. 
 
 Latin, Greek and German, too, 
 
 Fifty pages make a stew. 
 
 And to thicken up the mystery. 
 
 Take two chapters English His- 
 tory. 
 
 Physics, French and English Lit, 
 
 Spend an hour on each or git. 
 All night long from six to three. 
 Study math and chemistry. 
 In the hours when you should 
 
 dream. 
 Write an English twelve-page 
 
 theme. 
 Work at night and Sunday, too. 
 Outside reading you must do. 
 Next day, when you're on the 
 
 bunk, 
 Teacher springs exam — you 
 
 flunk. 
 Double, double, boil and bubble, 
 High school life is full of trouble. 
 Cool it with a Freshman's blood, 
 Then the charm is thick and 
 
 good. 
 By the pricking of my thumbs. 
 Something wicKed this way 
 
 comes. 
 
 Reminiscences of the Donation Party 
 
 By JESSIE A. KELLEY. 
 Price, 25 Cents 
 
 The soliloquy of a minister's wife, with tableaux. For 40 or 
 more characters, both sexes, although the number is optional and 
 it can be presented with a smaller cast. Time, about 35 minutes. 
 The wife at the side of the stage recounts the many amusing 
 incidents of the party, tells who attended and what they brought, 
 etc. The characters appear in pantomime. This entertainment is 
 unique. It fills the demand for something that can be put on "at 
 the last moment." It eliminates the usual long preparations re- 
 quired in producing a play; no parts to memorize and it can be 
 played on any platform. Highly humorous, replete with local hits 
 and strongly recnmmonded for churcli societies. 
 
 T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers 
 
 154 W. Randolph Street, CHICAGO 
 
Sava^eland 
 
 By WALTER BEN HARE. 
 
 Price. 50 Cents 
 
 Musical comedy in 2 acts; 5 males, 5 females and chorus. 
 Time. 2% hours. Scenes: 2 exteriors. Characters: Jake Heinz, 
 the fifty-ninth "variety. Sherlocko Combs, a defective detective. 
 Buckskin Buddy, from Savageland. Gilroy Claj-, in love. Big Chief 
 Heap Much Scalpem. ilarigold Lee, the Quaker maid. DaCEodil 
 Dotty, poetess of passion. Birdie 3Jagoogin, the Irish Cinderella. 
 Ysobel, in vaudeville. Wee-nah, the marble lady. Contains nine 
 catchy songs: "Summer Girlies," "Fair Quaker Maid," "The Mod- 
 est Blossom," "Letter Song," "Ho, for the West," "He Xever Came 
 Back Again." "The Little Birch Canoe," "The Message of the Red, 
 Red Rose" and "Twinkle Doodle Dum." Five of the songs are set 
 to original music by Henry Bethuel Vincent. The remainder are 
 sung to familiar college airs. The foundation of the plot is laughter, 
 carefree, a bit of satire, a touch of sentiment, which combined, 
 will make you imderstand that life's a merry jest in Savageland. 
 Detailed directions given with each musical number for the ar- 
 rangement of the chorus, marching, stage pictures, etc. 
 
 First produced by The Savage Club at Cornell University. Suit- 
 able for any occasion and especially recommended for college and 
 high school productions. 
 
 . SYNOPSIS. 
 
 Act L — The Summer Girls and the Little Quaker Maid. Sher- 
 locko Combs, the wonderful detective, searching for a missing 
 heiress. "She's worth a million, has a green shamrock tatooed 
 on her right wrist and wears a No. 10 shoe." Buckskin Buddy 
 from Savageland looks for the detective. A missing pitcher of 
 pearls. Sherlocko on the traiL Jake Heinz, the fifty- ninth varietj-, 
 becomes a Doctor "Watson. Clay finds that the course of true 
 love never did run smoothly. Miss Daffodil Dottj". the poetess 
 of passion, has an inspiration. The Cowboy and the Lady. "Ho, 
 for the We-st!" A living statue. Birdie Magoogin's story. The 
 new cook shows her temper. .Jake Heinz, on the trail, proves 
 himself a hero. .Jake finds the missing heiress and wins her for 
 his bride. "Then hit the trail for Savageland, three thousand 
 miles awayl" 
 
 Act II. — In the Savage Mountains. Jake and Birdie on their 
 honejTnoon. The automatic carbuncle of the automobile explodes. 
 "Ye should have used soothing s>Tup instead of ga-soline." The 
 Duchess Heinz entertains with a green tea. The .Scotch Laird of 
 Kilkuse. "Hoot, mon. hoot:" "He talks like an owl — because he's 
 from the owld countrj-." Music les.sons in Savageland. "He has 
 a cadenza like a flamingo and warbles like an aurora borealisl" 
 Marigold realizes that the old love is the best love. The Yaki 
 Indians and their Chief, Heap Much Scalpem. A pipe of peace. 
 The Chief throws dust and declares war. The missing Goddess of 
 Love. Sherlocko exposed. The storm in the mountains. Lightning 
 strikes an old tree, it falls apart and discloses the goddess, 
 Wee-nah. "The wonderful Sherlocko never fails." 
 
 "A capacity audience at the Lyceum Theater last night was 
 given two hours of unalloyed fun with the Savages in 'Savageland' 
 and many were the regrets when Wee-nah was discovered and 
 there was nothing left to do but to return to Ithaca and the work- 
 aday world." — Ithaca Evening News. 
 
 T. S. DEXISON & COMP.4NY, Publishers 
 
 154 W. Randolph Street, CHICAGO 
 
The Royal Highway 
 
 By CHARLES ULRICH. 
 Price, 25 Cents 
 
 A comedy-drama in 4 acts; S males, 3 females. Time, 2% 
 hours. Scenes: S interiors. Characters: Arthur Morgan, a law- 
 yer. Cliarles Williams, a mine superintendent. Bill Hampton, a 
 political boss. Harry Felton, a clerk. Horace Allen, a secretary. 
 Rev. Jordan, a Metliodist minister. Jimmy Farrell, an ex-convict. 
 Sam Harrison, a detective. .Margaret Ames, known as Miss 
 Holmes. Lucy Matthews, a stenographer. Mrs. Mary Jones, presi- 
 dent of the Ladies' Aid Society. 
 
 SYNOPSIS. 
 
 Act I. — The game of modern politics. The bribe. Morgan 
 defies a political boss. "I'll crush you like I would a flv!" An 
 anonymous philanthropist. The compact and avowal of love. The 
 robbery and accusation. Margaret saves Morgan's honor. "No, 
 it waj Providence!" 
 
 Act II. — "I wish I had a millionaire friend like Miss Ames!" 
 Farrell butts in. "Youse is playing a game of hearts what ain't 
 in your contract." "Williams divides the spoils. Margaret defies 
 Williams, "Where did you get that money?" A villian's kiss and 
 punishment. The power of attorney. "You'll be at my feet cry- 
 ing for mercy!" 
 
 Act III. — "Who is this anonymous philanthropist?" "The New 
 York police are looking for you!" The tables turned. "I'll get 
 your measure all right!" The story of Morgan's sorrow. "I could 
 not forgive the woman who deceived me!" The nomination and 
 accusation. Margaret's .ioy. "You are indeed a man among men!" 
 Act IV. — "This suspense is driving me mad!" The letter. "I'm 
 on the track of the man who killed my sister!" The convict's 
 secret. "Williams was my pal in Sing Sing!" Margaret reveals 
 herself. "Gee! She's an icelierg!" "How little you know of true 
 love!" Williams pays tlie penalty of treachery. Harry's promo- 
 tion. On the royal highway. 
 
 Re-Taming of the Shrew 
 
 By JOHN W. POSTGATE. 
 Price, 25 Cents 
 
 Humorous Shakespearean travesty in one act; 6 males, 5 females. 
 Time, about 4 5 minutes. One simple interior scene. Characters: 
 Petruchio, Angelo, Duke of Illyria, Othello, Macbeth, Grumio, 
 Katherine, Mariana, Viola, Desdemonia and Lady Macbeth. Plot: 
 After Iier woeful honeymoon, Katlierine becomes an ardent suf- 
 fragist and imposes household duties on Petruchio, who submits 
 to petticoat government. At a mooting of the women, man's docim 
 as a political or domestic power is announced. The women return 
 to Petruchio's home to find their husbands liaving a high old time 
 A lively controversy ensues but the men win the day when tlie>' 
 threaten to appeal to the divorce courts. This travesty draws 
 material from "Taming of the Shrew," "Measure for Measure," 
 "Twelfth Night," "Othello" and "Macbeth." It retains many of 
 the original lines from the plays, yet most ingeniously devised to 
 fit the conditions of today. Costumes either Shakespearean or 
 modern. Especially recommended for schools, colleges, etc. Re- 
 plete with liumor and sliould please any good club or society. 
 
 T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers 
 
 154 W. Randolph Street, CHICAGO 
 
The Deacon Entangled 
 
 By HARRY OSBORNE. 
 Price, 25 Cents 
 
 Comedy in 3 acts; G males, 4 females. Time, 2 hours.' Scene: 
 1 interior. Characters: Deacon Penrose, a member in good stand- 
 ing. Calvin, his nephew. Rev. Sopher, a supporter of foreign mie- 
 sions Harry Baxter, a sporting writer. RaffertJ^ a policeman. 
 A Plain Clothes Man. Mrs. Penrose. Ruth, her daughter. 
 Georgie, Rev. Sopher's daughter. Katy, a maid. 
 SYNOPSIS. 
 
 Act I. — In which the Deacon finds himself in a tight corner. 
 Dr. Sopher, who can coa.x money out of a wooden Indian. A thou- 
 sand dollars for the new pipe organ. Cal arrives. A clean-up- 
 clouter instead of a ministerial prospect. "Did I forget my necktie 
 and button my collar in tlie back?" The Deacon spends a night 
 out. "We won't go home until morning." 
 
 Act II. — The raid on the gambling joint. "Why didn't yon 
 jump when I told you." On bail. "A thousand dollars to the Doc 
 or you lose your job as Deacon; a thousand to the judge or six 
 months." A sporting chance. Ready for the game. A donation 
 to Foreign Missions and a double barreled courtship. The elope- 
 ment. The arrest. "Come on Cal, I'll see you through." 
 
 Act III. — The big game. Tied in the Tenth. Cal goes to the 
 box. A Pinch Hitter. "Over the scoreboard." On the Deacon's 
 trail — the Horse pistol — pay the fine or go to jail. A hair line 
 finish. "Hold on. Copper." "Here's your thousand and here's 
 your girl. Look happy and have your picture taken." A new 
 son-in-law. "Bother Boarding School." The Deacon smiles. 
 
 A Trial of Hearts 
 
 By LINDSEY BARBEE. 
 
 Price, 25 Cents 
 
 College comedy in 4 acts; 6 males, 18 females. Time, 2% hours. 
 Scenes: 3 interiors, 1 exterior. Characters: Dudley Van Antwerp, 
 a wealthy college man. Philip, his best friend. Roger, Teddy, 
 Jack and Jerry, fraternity men. Mrs. Van Antwerp, of great im- 
 portance. Honor, Dudley's wife. Fourteen lively sorority girls. A 
 chaperone and a maid. 
 
 SYNOPSIS. 
 
 Act I. — Gretchen and Jerry play Romeo and Juliet. Ted pleads 
 the cause of Kappa Psi. Jack argues for Delta Chi. Dudley intro- 
 duces Honor to his mother. Virginia learns of Dudley's marriage. 
 "I want to go home — oh, I want to go home!" 
 
 Act II.— The football enthusiasts bring news of Barbara. 
 Gretchen and Jerry study Latin and argue fraternity. Honor finds 
 it all a little strange. Dudley tells Virginia his love story. "Oh, 
 Dudley, you hurt me!" "There's nothing left for me but to go away!" 
 
 Act III.— "I wonder if people ever get too busy to care!" 
 Mrs. Van Antwerp opens fire and Honor stands her ground. "I 
 mean to stay!" "I wish I had no heart — it aches so!" "Dear 
 little girl, it "is good-bve." Honor hears Dudley declare his love 
 for Virginia. "Oh, Dad-Dad — vour little girl is coming home!" 
 
 Act IV. — Gretchen and Jerry "grow up." The Seniors toast 
 the past, the present and the future. Mrs. Van Antwerp reproaches 
 herself. "Here comes the bride." The Kappa Psis and the Delta 
 Chi holds reunions. "Honor, is it really you?" "If you want me, 
 I am here." ^ __^ 
 
 T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers 
 
 154 W. Randolph Street, CHICAGO 
 
The Thread of Destiny 
 
 By LINDSEY BARBEE. 
 Price, 25 Cents 
 
 Comedy-drama of the Civil War in 3 acts; 9 males, 16 females. 
 Time, 21/2 hours. Scenes: 1 interior, 2 exteriors. Characters: 
 Peyton Bailey, of the U. S. army. Beverly Montgomery, a con- 
 federate scout. Colonel Montgomery, a gentleman of the old school. 
 Tom Randolph, a Southern gallant. John Morton, of the North. 
 Ralph, who did not go to war. George and Uncle Billy, slaves. 
 A Union Scout. Virginia, the toast of the country. Betty, the 
 "Little Colonel." Edith, a northern cousin. Louise, a spy. Eight 
 charming southern girls. Mrs. Montgomery. Miss Melissy, of in- 
 quisitive nature. Fanny and Mammy, slaves. 
 SYNOPSLS. 
 
 Act L — Betty breaks a looking glass. Edith calms her fears 
 and tells her "the signs of the times." "Virginia has seceded." 
 Beverly enlists. "A Virginia woman does not even recognize an 
 acquaintance among the enemies of Virginia." 
 
 Act II. — "I don' wan' no tarnished silber linin' to my cloud." 
 "There are some things more precious than money, than jewels." 
 "Death cannot conquer love — nor eternity." "Some day there will 
 be no North, no South, but the Union." The Union scout falls a 
 prey to Edith's fascinations and lier cleverness wins the coveted 
 dispatch. Virginia opens the door — to Peyton. Beverly is dis- 
 covered. Friendship proves stronger than duty. 
 
 Act III. — Three years work a great change. Peyton pleads in 
 vain. George and Fanny "take de road to de Ian' of happiness." 
 "In our little circle the stars and bars are floating high." Virginia 
 gives Peyton another rose and together they trace against the 
 background of blue and gray "tlie golden thread of destiny." 
 
 Shadows 
 
 By MARY MONCURE PARKER. 
 Price, 15 Cents 
 
 Play of the South today and a dream of the past in 1 act; 
 an interior scene; 'i males, 4 females. Time, 35 minutes. Charac- 
 ters: Prologue and the Awakening: Robert Ashton, Virginia's 
 sweetheart. Aunt Geranium, an old colored mammy. Virginia Lee, 
 a .southern maid. The Dream: Gordon Sanford, a soldier in love 
 with Alice. Harold Hale, the successful rival. Mrs. Horace 
 Fairfax, a stern motlier of long ago. Alice Fairfax, her dutiful 
 daughter. STORY OP THE PLAY. 
 
 Virginia Lee's mother insists upon her marriage with a rich 
 suitor, who has agreed to restore their impoverished estate. Vir- 
 ginia has a sweetheart of her childhood days and hesitates in 
 making a choice, but finally decides upon wealth instead of love. 
 An old colored mammy, who has spent her life in the Lee house- 
 hold, understands the situation and tells Virginia of a similar 
 episode in tlie life of Virginia's grandmother. Virginia in ponder- 
 ing over the incident and grieving over her own troubles, falls 
 asleep. She dreams of the story just told and the dream folks 
 appear and play their parts. Vii-ginia awakens, the sliadows flee 
 and she comes to her senses and her lover. 
 
 The old colored mammy says: "Dis heah ole worl's jes' full 
 of shadders. Fokes comes an' rlcy goes, ripens and drops like the 
 fruit on de tree. Ole Mars is gone, old Mistis gone. De substance 
 melts and fades away. Ain't notli ing left but shadders." 
 
 T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers 
 
 154 W. Randolph Street, CHICAGO 
 
DENISON'S ACTING PLAYS 
 
 Price 15 Cents Each, Postpaid, Unless Different Price Is Given 
 
 M. F. 
 
 Winning Widow, 2 acts, V/z hrs. 
 
 (25c) 2 4 
 
 Women Who Did, 1 hr...(2Sc) 17 
 
 Yankee Detective, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 8 3 
 
 FARCES, COMEDIETAS. Etc. 
 
 AH on a Summer's Day, 40 min. 4 6 
 
 April Fools, 30 min 3 
 
 Assessor, The, 10 min 3 2 
 
 Baby Show at Pineville, 20 min. 19 
 
 Billy's Chorus Girl, 25 min... 2 3 
 
 Billy's Mishap, 20 min 2 3 
 
 Borrowed Luncheon, 20 min.. 5 
 
 Borrowing Trouble, 20 min.... 3 5 
 Case Against Casey, 40 min... 23 
 
 Country Justice, IS min 8 
 
 Cow that Kicked Chicago, 20 m. 3 2 
 
 Divided Attentions, 35 min 1 4 
 
 Dude in a Cyclone, 20 min.... 4 2 
 
 Family Strike, 20 min 3 3 
 
 First-Class Hotel, 20 min 4 
 
 For Love and Honor, 20 min.. 2 1 
 
 Fudge and a Burglar, 15 min.. 5 
 Fun in Photo Gallery, 30 min.. 6 10 
 Great Medical Dispensary, 30 m. 6 
 Great Pumpkin Case, 30 min.. 12 
 
 Hans Von Smash, 30 min.... 4 3 
 
 I'm Not Mesilf at All, 25 min. 3 2 
 Initiating a Granger, 25 min.. 8 
 
 Irish Linen Peddler, 40 min... 3 3 
 
 Is the Editor In? 20 min... 4 2 
 
 Kansas Immigrants, 20 min... 5 1 
 
 Men Not Wanted, 30 min 8 
 
 Mike Donovan's Courtship, IS m. 1 3 
 
 Mother Goose's Goslings, 30 m. 7 9 
 
 Mrs. Jenkins' Brilliant Idea, 35m. 8 
 
 Mrs. Stubbins' Book Agent, 30 m. 3 2 
 
 My Wife's Relations, 1 hr.... 4 6 
 
 Not a Man in the House, 40 m. 5 
 
 Pair of Lunatics, 20 min 1 1 
 
 Patsy O'W^ang, 35 min 4 3 
 
 Pat, the Apothecary, 35 min.. 6 2 
 
 Persecuted Dutchman, 30 min. 6 3 
 
 Regular Fix, 35 min 6 4 
 
 Second Childhood, IS min.... 2 2 
 
 Shadows, 35 min 2 2 
 
 Sing a Song of Seniors, 30 min. 7 
 
 Taking Father's Place, 30 min. 5 3 
 
 Taming a Tiger, 30 min 3 
 
 That Rascal Pat, 30 min..... 3 2 
 
 Those Red Envelopes, 25 min. 4 4 
 Too Much of a Good Thing, 45 
 
 min 3 6 
 
 Turn Him Out, 35 min...... 3 2 
 
 Two Aunts and a Photo, 20 m. 4 
 Two Gentlemen in a Fix, IS m. - 
 
 Two Ghosts in White, 20 min. . S 
 
 Two of a Kind, 40 min...... - ^ 
 
 Uncle Dick's I\Iistake, 20 min. . 3 2 
 
 Wanted a Correspondent, 4 5 m. 4 4 
 
 Wanted a Hero, 20 min 1 1 
 
 M. F. 
 
 Wide Enough for Two, 45 min. S 2 
 
 Wror>g Baby, 25 min 8 
 
 Yankee Peddler, 1 hr 7 3 
 
 VAUDEVILLE SKETCHES, IMON- 
 OLOGUES, ETHIOPIAN PLAYS. 
 
 Ax'in' Her Father, 25 min.... 2 3 
 Booster Club of Blackville, 25 ra.lO 
 Breakfast Food for Two, 20 m. 1 
 
 Cold Finish, 15 min 2 
 
 Colored Honeymoon, 25 min... 2 
 Coon Creek Courtship, 15 min. 1 
 Coming Champion, 20 min.... 2 
 Coontown Thirteen Club, 25 m.l4 
 
 Counterfeit Bills, 20 min 1 
 
 Darktown Fire Brigade, 25 min. 10 
 Doings of a Dude, 20 min.... 2 
 
 Dutch Cocktail, 20 min 2 
 
 For Reform, 20 min 4 
 
 Fresh Timothy Hay, 20 min . . 2 
 Glickman, the Glazier, 25 min. 1 
 Good Momin' Judge, 35 min. . 9 
 
 Her Hero, 20 min 1 
 
 Hey, Rube! 15 min 1 
 
 Home Run, 15 min 1 
 
 Jumbo Jum, 30 min 4 
 
 Little Red School House, 20 m. 4 
 Love and Lather, 35 min..... -3 
 Marriage and After, 10 min.. 1 
 
 Memohis Mose, 25 min 5 
 
 Mischievous Nigger, 25 min . . 4 
 
 Mistaken Miss, 20 min 1 
 
 Mr. and Mrs. Fido, 20 min 1 
 
 Oh, Doctor! 30 min 6 2 
 
 One Sweetheart for Two, 20 m. 2 
 Oshkosh Next Week, 20 min . . 4 
 
 Oyster Stew, 10 min 2 
 
 Pete Yansen's Gurl's Moder, 10m. 1 
 
 Pickles for Two, 15 min 2 
 
 Pooh Bah of Peacetown, 35 min. 2 2 
 Prof. Black's Funnygraph, 15 m. 6 
 
 Sham Doctor, 10 min 4 2 
 
 Si and I, IS min 1 
 
 Special Sale, 1 5 min 2 
 
 Stage Struck Darky, 10 min.. 2 1 
 .Sunny Son of Italy, 15 min.. 1 
 
 Time Table, 20 min 1 I 
 
 Tramp and the Actress, 20 min. 1 1 
 Troubled by Ghosts, 10 min... 4 
 Troubles of Rozinski, 15 min.. 1 
 Two Jay Detectives, 15 min.. 3 
 Umbrella Mender, IS min.... 2 
 
 Uncle Jeff, 25 min 5 2 
 
 What Happened to Hannah, ISni. 1 1 
 
 A great number of 
 
 Standard and Amateur Plays 
 
 not found here are listed in 
 
 Denison's Catalogue 
 
 T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Pubrishers,154 W. Randolph St. , Chicago 
 
POPULAR ENTERTAII . ... ^._ ... 
 
 Price. Illustrated Paper Cove.-, -SJlt l°2..612 
 
 IN this Series 
 are found 
 books touching 
 every feature 
 in the enter- 
 tainment field. 
 Finely made, 
 good paper, 
 clear print and 
 each book has 
 an attractive 
 individual cov- 
 er design. 
 A Partial List 
 
 DIALOGUES 
 
 All Sorts of Dialogues, 
 
 Selected, fine for older pupils. 
 Catchy Comic Dialogues. 
 
 Very clever; for youn^ people. 
 Children's Comic Dialogues. 
 
 From six to eleven years of age. 
 Country School Dialogues. 
 
 Brand new, original- 
 Dialogues for District Schools. 
 
 For country schools. 
 Dialogues from Dickens. 
 
 Thirteen selections. 
 The Friday Afternoon Dialogues. 
 
 Over 50,000 copies sold. 
 From Tots to Teens. 
 
 Dialogties and recitations. 
 Humorous Homespun Dialogues. 
 
 For older ones. 
 Little People's Plays. 
 
 From 7 to 13 years of age. 
 Lively Dialogues. 
 
 For all ages; mostly humorous. 
 Merry Little Dialogues. 
 
 Thirty-eight original selections. 
 When the Lessons are Over. 
 
 Dialogues, drills, plays. 
 Wide Awake Dialogues. 
 
 Original successful. 
 
 SPEAKERS, MONOLOGUES 
 
 Choice Pieces for Little People. 
 
 A child's speaker. 
 The Comic Entertainer. 
 
 Recitations, monologues, dialogues. 
 Dialect Readings. 
 
 Irish, Dutch, Negro, Scotch, etc. 
 The Favorite Speaker. 
 
 Choice prose and poetry. 
 The Friday Afternoon Speaker. 
 
 For pupils of all ages. 
 Humorous Monologues. 
 
 Particularly for ladies. 
 Monologues for Young Folks. 
 
 Clever, humorous, original. 
 
 Monologues Grave and Gay. 
 
 Dramatic and humorous. 
 Scrap- Book Recitations. 
 
 Choice collections, pathetic, hu- 
 morotis, descriptive, prose, 
 poetry. 15 Nos., per JMo. 25c 
 
 DRILLS 
 
 The Best Drill Book. 
 
 N'ery popular drills and marches. 
 The Favorite Book of Drills. 
 
 Drills that sparkle with originality. 
 Little Plays With Drills. 
 
 For children from 6 to 1 1 years. 
 The Surprise Drill Book. 
 
 Fresh, novel, drills and marches. 
 
 SPECIALTIES 
 
 The Boys' Entertainer. 
 
 Monologues, dialogues, drills. 
 Children's Party Book. 
 
 Invitations, decorations, games. 
 The Days We Celebrate. 
 
 Entertainments for all the holidays. 
 Good Things for Christmas. 
 
 Recitations, dialogues, drills. 
 Good Things for Sunday Schools. 
 
 Dialogues, exercises, recitations. 
 Good Things for Thanksgiving. 
 
 A gem of a book. 
 Good. Things for Washington 
 
 and Lincoln Birthdays. 
 Little Folks' Budget. 
 
 Easy pieces to speak, songs. 
 One Hundred Entertainments. 
 
 New parlor diversions, socials. 
 Patriotic Celebrations. 
 
 Great variety of material. 
 Pictured Readings and Tableaux. 
 
 Entirely original features. 
 Pranks and Pastimes. 
 
 Parlor games for children. 
 Private Theatricals. 
 
 How to put on plays. 
 Shadow Pictures, Pantomimes, 
 
 Charades, and how to prepare. 
 Tableaux and Scenic Readings. 
 
 New and novel; for all ages. 
 Twinkling Fingers and Sway- 
 ing Figures. For little tots. 
 Yuletlde Entertainments. 
 
 A choice Christmas collection. 
 
 MINSTRELS, JOKES 
 
 Diack American Joker. 
 
 Minstrels' and end men's gags. 
 A Bundle of Burnt Cork Comedy. 
 
 Monologues, stump speeches, etc. 
 Laughland.via the Ha-Ha Route. 
 
 A merry trip for fun tourists. 
 Negro Minstrels. 
 
 -Ml about the business. 
 The New Jolly J6ster. 
 
 Funny stories, jokea, gags, etc. 
 
 Larc* Illustrated Cataloeue Free 
 
 T.S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers, 154 W. Randolph St. , Chicago