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THE AGE OF BRASS: 
 
 OR, 
 CONTAINING 
 
 THE POLITICAL MORALS 
 
 OF 
 
 CERTAIN POLITICAL CHARACTERS. 
 
 91 Satire in Si* Cantos. 
 
 CANTO I.— The Introduction. 
 " II. — The Conspiracy. 
 " IIL— The Magician. 
 " IV.— The Guard. 
 " V. — Fum's Dream. 
 " VI. —The Great Man's Friend, 
 
 .. >; 
 
 BY NOBODY NOTHING, of Nowhere. 
 A Member of the Young Men's Whig Conv'n, 1840. 
 
 BALTIMORE: 
 PUBLISHED BY GEORGE W. WILSON. 
 
 WOODS & CRANE, PRINTERS. 
 
 1844. 
 
Entered, according to the Act of Congress, in the year 1844, by 
 George W. Wilson, in the Clerk's Office of the District Court of 
 Maryland. 
 
 Wi 
 
 
 WOODS & CRANE, PRINTERS, 
 

 t&itattb 
 
 TO THE 
 
 X0$lG MEN'S WHIG CONVENTION OF RATIFICATION, 
 
 assemble Man % 1844. 
 
TO THE HEADER 
 
 Immortal Truth ! thy power essay- 
 To lash the morals of the day, 
 And should the Muse's efforts claim 
 Small honor for an humble name, 
 Her aim is gained, by thee directed, 
 If but one rascal be detected. 
 
 Great knaves deserve thy lash the most, 
 Because they sin at greatest cost, 
 And every sin thou dost forgive 
 Will in a hundred meaner live, 
 Till multitudes will boldly ape 
 The greater one, should he- escape. 
 
 Man is my theme, yet when I choose 
 A playful measure for my Muse, 
 Forget not, Reader, I design 
 To make the graver censure thine ; 
 Forget not, as I paint for you 
 Revolting scenes as droll as true, 
 I claim this judgment still for them, 
 That, tho' you smile, you do condemn. 
 
 N. N., ofN. 
 
ET"? 
 
 Oh truth, and virtue, what are ye, 
 But shows of what the world should be, 
 Since every dirty fellow tries 
 To gain repute by acting lies ; 
 In every act he does for praise, 
 In every act the knave displays. 
 So politicians of this day, 
 When they would rule, appear t' obey, 
 And Judas like, most like in this, 
 Betray the people with a kiss — 
 With fair pretexts of good, do evil, 
 And seem the saint to serve the devil-^- 
 With lusty cries of reformation. 
 Do all they can to damn the nation ; 
 Of every virtue make a hack, 
 And seem to laud while they attack ; 
 Enact the knave, when most they brawl 
 Against their trade political. 
 I know of naught can so disgust, 
 Of God and man alike accursed, 
 As when a well-fed State's rogue stands, 
 Invoking heaven with outstretched hands, 
 To smile upon each act he does, 
 While all its precepts are his foes ; 
 While all the blessings which he prays for, 
 Must prove but curses he shall blaze for, 
 I* 
 
b THE A.GE OF BRASS. 
 
 And every virtue, in whose name 
 
 He acts the rogue, shall fan the flame* 
 
 I've wondered more too, as I've grieved, 
 
 To see a people thus deceived ; 
 
 Cajoled and cheated of their senses, 
 
 By faise-tongued knaves and mere pretences ; 
 
 Refusing to exert their brains — 
 
 Go yoked and driven for their pains, 
 
 And bend to every rascal's nod, 
 
 Who rides above their heads rough-shod ; 
 
 Booted and spurred, as tho' from heaven, 
 
 His riding papers had been given, 
 
 Unless as some think heaven hath sent, 
 
 These pests by way of punishment ; 
 
 As 'tis avowed, tho' many cavil, 
 
 That good may come from working evil, 
 
 A precept practised much, tho' few 
 
 Admit in this age that they do. 
 
 Howe'er that be, the wrong's confessed, 
 
 Such agents are but knaves at best ; 
 
 And it were sense at least to fly, 
 
 Accredited rascality. 
 
 Thus statesmen grown so bold of late, 
 Unbiushingly would sell the State, 
 And freely hawk about their wares, 
 As if the things they sold were theirs, 
 Nor hesitate but to consider, 
 Their profits on the highest bidder, 
 And officers and honors rate, 
 As merchants do by size or weight ; 
 There honor held of little profit, 
 Except for money that's made of it, 
 And think themselves as right as any, 
 Who strive to turn an honest penny ; 
 For politics, 'twould seem, is made 
 For gain, like any other trade. 
 
 Preach patriotism ! what then, 
 Your patriots are the best of men, 
 
INTRODUCTION. 
 
 Tho' virtue's grown so very shrewd, 
 There's little hope it can be good. 
 Since outside show has ta'en the place, 
 Reality is in disgrace ; 
 And men are so convinced of this, 
 They take what's offered , hit or miss. 
 Preach honesty! in vain you do, 
 Your patriots have grown honest too, 
 As if it were but to surprise you, 
 How practice of your rule belies you. 
 Preach morals ! pshaw ! the thing is done, 
 They've got a match for every one, 
 And judging by their practised feints, 
 You'd take them every one for saints. 
 Preach honor ! and with smiling faces, 
 They'll point to ribbons and to places, 
 As if the quality consisted 
 In sinecures or silkens twisted. 
 Preach conscience ! still there's no dismay, 
 Most conscientious rogues are they ; 
 And while you preach, unless you dock it, 
 These honest rogues will pick your pocket, 
 And think'ta virtue they've committed, 
 Like Spartan thieves unless outwitted ; 
 For highly do they rate the few, 
 Who've wit to steal and hide it too ; 
 But if discovered, then the deed 
 Is damned, because it don't succeed, 
 And he who's so caught they disown, 
 And by the whole pack 's hunted down ; 
 More ruthless they in such a chase, 
 Since failure is a sure disgrace. 
 
 The Christians pardon sins repented, 
 But these have never yet relented ; 
 With those confession is a virtue, 
 The others feel it can but hurt you, 
 And that they may not share your fate, 
 They make the greater show of hate; 
 Upon the principle, a feather 
 Will prove what birds do flock together. 
 
8 THE AGE OF BRASS. 
 
 Thus fallen friends, like poor relations, 
 Find little favor from high stations ; 
 As when a fly if maimed or wounded, 
 Is by a host of flies surrounded, 
 Who suck his blood, so they like flies, 
 Pursue their victim till he dies. 
 
 If you would have reform of State, 
 
 Discard the rogues who sway its fate, 
 
 Let not the hackneyed sophist's art, 
 
 Delude the mind or cheat the heart; 
 
 Nor vice in virtue's robes receive 
 
 The homage which to her we give ; 
 
 Tear down her haunts and scourge her minions. 
 
 And purge the State of false opinions, 
 
 For precepts, like examples, can 
 
 Corrupt and then mislead the man, 
 
 Alike producing good or evil, 
 
 As men do serve their God or devil. 
 
 Reliance then cannot be placed 
 
 In men or precepts when debased, 
 
 And first or last it will be seen, 
 
 Wrong cannot shield or falsehood screen, 
 
 For just as mind shall be improved, 
 
 Virtue shall be advanced and loved ; 
 
 A people who have been made wise, 
 
 Can never be deceived by lies ; 
 
 Grown virtuous in the same degree, 
 
 They cannot and they will not be. 
 
 Yet there is evil urgent pressing, 
 
 As great a curse as that a blessing ; 
 
 A principle as mean and base, 
 
 As e'er wrought ruin or disgrace ; 
 
 With freedom too as much at war, 
 
 As ever tyrants struggled for, 
 
 The baser from its tendency, 
 
 Man- worshipping subserviency ! 
 
 Great heaven, and shall such meanness hold ! 
 
 Shall men sell honesty for gold, 
 
INTRODUCTION. 
 
 And honor deem as cheap a price, 
 
 As articles of merchandise ? 
 
 Sell out to please a statesmen's dotage, 
 
 Their birth-rights for a mess of pottage, 
 
 And barter freedom's honest glory, 
 
 To deck knaves' temples base as hoary? 
 
 And think a freeman's right consists 
 
 In being high on pension list ; 
 
 Paid menials of a traitor's trust, 
 
 And panders to his hate or lust, 
 
 Smile with his smile, obedient still, 
 
 To think his thoughts or do his will ? 
 
 And this call freedom, hence the thought, 
 
 Her smiles are neither sold or bought, 
 
 For he who worships her must bring 
 
 A free-born spirit's offering; 
 
 And thro' her fire that never dies, 
 
 Must pass as pure as thro' the skies. 
 
 The basest motives do engage, 
 Mankind in this time-serving age, 
 And he is looked upon as wise, 
 Who profits most in his disguise ; 
 The vilest precepts are thought good, 
 If they can sway the multitude ; 
 To be called just 's to be thought fool, 
 As well in those who've ruled as rule ; 
 And ignorance alone may claim, 
 The credit of an honest name ; 
 Thus every arch -knave finds a flaw, 
 In every code of right or law, 
 And having formed a system of it, 
 Sits down in earnest next to prove it; 
 No matter what 'ts effects may be, 
 On morals or society ; 
 No matter what the growth of error, 
 So he may gain thro' love or terror. 
 He little cares what evils come, 
 So evils bring him profit home ; 
 
10 THE AGE OP BRASS. 
 
 Approves the means he basely uses, 
 To propagate the worst abuses, 
 Well pleased to see as he had hoped, 
 Great knaves, like him, his views adopt, 
 With kindred ardor strive t' apply it, 
 And hope like him to profit by it ; 
 Appeal to interests and to passions, 
 Of men in various ranks and stations, 
 And from no means, tho' base, refrain, 
 For as they convert so they gain ; 
 Yet if accused of guilt or guile, 
 They're conscientious all the while. 
 
 True greatness needs no paltry art, 
 To sway the mind or move the heart, 
 Despising all the tricks in vogue, 
 Which form the leaven of the rogue. 
 The truly great are ever good, 
 For power dwells in rectitude ; 
 In triumph and defeat the same, 
 In this no pride, in that no shame ; 
 The actions that from virtue spring, 
 Their own rewards are sure to bring, 
 And he whose life is wisely spent, 
 In kindly acts, may die content, 
 In the proud hope which God has given, 
 Good will on earth and peace in heaven ; 
 But he who having passed a life, 
 In wrongs and outrage, hate and strife, 
 What e'er his powers of mind have been, 
 How proud so e'er his honor's sheen, 
 Must sink among the unloved dead, 
 With curses gathering round his head, 
 Tho' sculptured marbles deck his tomb, 
 Their fading splendor marks his doom ; 
 Tho' labored epitaphs may claim, 
 Regard and honor for his name, 
 Indignant Virtue points the lies, 
 And Justice eveiy claim denies. 
 
63 
 
Magnificos,* (solus.) 
 Men, who to lofty stations rise, 
 Are ever watched with jealous eyes, 
 And those who by their merits gain 'em 
 Need all their merits to maintain 'em, 
 Since those whom chance has upwards thrown, 
 By the same chance may tumble down. 
 The most adroit in keeping power, 
 Adapt their morals to the hour; 
 The greatest are not therefore best, 
 Success is merit's surest test ; 
 Mere station is no proof of wit, 
 The proof lies in maintaining it. 
 Then if the proof lies only so 
 Why should not I as others do, 
 If I by conduct just and pure 
 Both place and station fail t' ensure, 
 Why then 'tis very sense t' abjure; 
 If by an honest, just demeanor, 
 1 find myself no whit the gainer — 
 If all I do, and all I say, 
 Is taken still the other way, 
 A masquer's dress were well put on, 
 If by 't my ends were better won. 
 When reason's lost and virtue's fled, 
 And folly holds her reign instead, 
 He's less than ass whose head rebels, 
 To don the cap and wear the bells. 
 
 [Enter Vaparandosf and others.] 
 
 Vaparandos. 
 Hail, great Magnificos ! we claim 
 To know your purpose and your aim, 
 
12 THE AGE OP BRASS. 
 
 Since the Fum Fum| we served is dead, 
 And Fum^f himself now rules instead ; 
 And sooth to say by this not vexed, 
 Our councils therefore are perplexed. 
 Had the first lived our way was plain, 
 But now it puzzles much our brain. 
 Can we be still the same to friends, 
 And thus as well subserve our ends ? 
 For this we come obedient still, 
 To know your great and sovereign will, 
 Resolved to follow in your wake, 
 Content to choose the path you take, 
 And yet we doubtingly intrude 
 Upon your sorrow's solitude. 
 
 Magnjficos. 
 
 Good friends, I'm very glad you've come, 
 And hope you'll make yourselves at home 
 These weeds of mourning which I wear, 
 But faintly show the griefs I bear 
 For him who late was ruler here, 
 Yet is my mind distract and wrought, 
 As working with most anxious thought ; 
 The cares of State and love of friends, 
 Are those to which my feeling tends, 
 Therefore my friends I'm free to serve, 
 In all things which you well deserve. 
 
 Vaparandos. 
 
 We have been thinking that since fate 
 Hath thrown into our hands the State, 
 We cannot better show our thanks 
 For this one of dame fortune's pranks, 
 Than by forsaking friends we fear, 
 Altho', in sooth, they placed us here ; 
 Else we should seem to fly in th' face 
 Of fortune, and to court disgrace, 
 And show a wilful, sinful blindness, 
 In casting off her proffered kindness. 
 
THE CONSPIRACY. 18 
 
 Magnificos. 
 
 By Jove ! my friends, you reason right, 
 
 The thing's as clear as noon-day light, 
 
 Nor would't become me to oppose 
 
 Such friendly thoughts, to serve my foes, 
 
 For foes, indeed, I've ever thought 'em, 
 
 Altho' with smiles I ever sought 'em. 
 
 Then 'twas expedient and just, 
 
 But now the rale is changed I trust. 
 
 And just as the players change their gowns, 
 
 We'll doff our smiles and put on frowns ; 
 
 For gratitude in men who 're great 
 
 Is but a show, of which fools prate, 
 
 And only used by those who're able 
 
 The better to deceive the rabble, — 
 
 A virtue, if it please you so, 
 
 With which we've nothing now to do. 
 
 Vaparandos. 
 
 What then, Great Sage, who'rt ever wise, 
 Dost in thy judgment most advise, 
 So that our words and aims tho' distant, 
 May to the world appear consistent ; 
 For sooth to say, tho' grateful never, 
 'Twere well t' appear consistent ever, 
 And by some shrewd dissimulation, 
 Appear as saints before the nation, 
 And tho' from saintly trammels free, 
 Yet what we are not, seem to be. 
 
 Magnificos. 
 
 As when by chance two men are thrown 
 Upon a wreck at sea alone, 
 Without a hope of succor nigh, 
 Their mournful fate to starve and die, 
 What selfish thoughts from famine rise, 
 For one grows food in th' other's eyes ; 
 The weakest tho' he be a brother, 
 Must yield his life to save the other. 
 2 
 
14 THE AGE OF BRASS. 
 
 And thus it was with me when late 
 
 Our party triumphed in the State ; 
 
 Another^ rose whose shadowing name, 
 
 Was like to dim or blight my fame : 
 
 I marked him Well and felt that one 
 
 Or other must be overthrown— 
 
 Him had I marked from youth to age, 
 
 In youth and manhood still the sage, 
 
 No loss could move, no fortune blind, 
 
 In grief composed, successful, kind; 
 
 Wrong could not crush nor power elate, 
 
 His very virtues made me hate. 
 
 We grew together, and for e'er 
 
 I'd marked his upward rise with fear ; 
 
 Not that I feared to deal in kind, 
 
 To meet him ever mind to mind, 
 
 In this I felt a power as great, 
 
 To mask my course or sway my fate, 
 
 But there was that forever shed 
 
 In spells 'round all he did or said : 
 
 A something nameless chained and charmed. 
 
 And spite the will, surprised and warmed ; 
 
 'Twas this I feared, this power to give 
 
 A fire which made conception live, — 
 
 Shook Senates, and triumphant rose, 
 
 Confirming friends, confounding foes, — 
 
 That baffled still the wily thought, 
 
 Which the cold reason coldly wrought: 
 
 The spark Promethean warming still, 
 
 Where others fail or only chill. 
 
 I've marked him well from time to time, 
 
 Nor may we both together climb ; 
 
 I've viewed the homage paid by all, 
 
 And darkly sworn that he shall fall, — 
 
 And he shall fall, if mind and will, 
 
 Bound in the same firm purpose still, 
 
 E'er wrought a ruin. This be mine, 
 
 To sleep not, pause not, nor repine 
 
 Thro' good and ill, all change, all time, 
 
 But still pursue, nor deem it crime 
 
THE CONSPIRACY. 15 
 
 Whate'er the means, whate'er deceit 
 I use to tread him 'neath my feet. 
 And he shall fall, be 't right or wrong, 
 Tho' baffled oft, I'm patient long ; 
 Thro' each reverse, thro' all success, 
 His ruin forms my happiness . 
 The light of promise that afar 
 Gleams like a friendly guiding star,— 
 Yes, he shall fall, and they shall turn, 
 Who laud him now, to scorn or spurn ; - 
 And he shall see them one by One, 
 Turn from him 'till my wish is done. 
 Grown faithless 'neath the potent spell. 
 Distrust and treach'ry weave so well ; 
 And he shall feel my withering touch, 
 Thro' friends mistrusted ; and as such 
 Shall feel detraction's sickly breath, 
 Breathe hotly thro' the laurel wreath ; 
 And envy's curse shall rashly greet 
 His ear in danger and defeat. 
 His very virtues shall subserve 
 His fall when most he shall deserve, 
 And thro' th' unguarded heart I'll find, 
 The means to o'erthrow the candid mind. 
 
 Vaparandos, 
 Thanks, mighty sir, my heart renews 
 Its pledge of fealty to your views — 
 Responds to all the hate I've heard , 
 And echos every angry word. 
 For I have felt his crushing power. 
 Come o'er me in an anxious hour, 
 When in the People's Hall with fear, 
 And trembling hope, I sought its chair; • 
 And therefore do I hate, tho' few 
 Know what the cause or why I do. 
 From that dark hour when I was spurned, 
 My heart with mad revenge has burned, 
 And him I once did all to praise, 
 Insulted pride would now debase. 
 
16 THE AGE OP BRASS. 
 
 Bound in like ties of hope and hate, 
 Again I swear to share your fate. 
 
 Magnijicos. 
 Few sages lived who wrote as well 
 As did the sage of Machiavel ; 
 And he hath taught us that 'tis wise 
 In rulers ever to disguise ; 
 Hide nature from the public view, 
 Lest her defects should struggle thro' ; 
 And in a garb of virtue decked, 
 Seems faultless to insure respect. 
 So we by every strong endeavor, 
 Must use with tact this moral cover ; 
 Prate virtue to the mob in speeches, 
 Yet to our interest cling like leeches ; 
 Distract our foes with hopes and fears, 
 And set together by the ears; 
 Bind friends by interest to our will, 
 And keep them there by interest still ; 
 The doubtful of both sides and factions 
 We still must keep so by our actions, 
 Until we've sown disgust and doubt, 
 Of friends to make them seek us out ; 
 Till by distractions, doubt and interest, 
 Our power to conquer stands confessed. 
 As workmen first select their tools, 
 So statesmen find a use in fools., 
 And by a lucky chance is thrown 
 Into our hands a useful one ; 
 A man who tho' devoid of sense, 
 Is favored much by fickle chance, 
 As if the blind dame only wrought 
 At times to baffle hu iian thought. 
 A man whose vanity alone 
 Is bloated so and overgrown, 
 That by a little flattery we 
 May make him what we wish to be. 
 Weak as he's vain, a fond conceit 
 Persuades him ever he is great, 
 
THE CONSPIRACY. 17 
 
 * 
 
 And sooner than be thought to follow- 
 In wake of saint or sage, his choler 
 Ne'er fails to run his stupid head 
 Into the very snares we've spread ; 
 Like perverse pigs, to make obey, 
 We pull their,, tails the other way. 
 Yet hath he by position powers, 
 We must not fail to use as ours — 
 The mighty patronage of State, 
 Which buys the small and sways the great ; 
 The gift of office, glorious bribe, 
 To needy men, a mighty tribe, 
 Corrupting all who touch its gold, 
 And gain by honors basely sold. 
 Rich knaves we'll use for ends the same, 
 Who purchase office for a name, 
 And hope by public trust t' appear 
 Far more deserving than they are : 
 The talisman, whose magic spell 
 We'll wield so wisely and so well, 
 Concealed behind the moving screens, 
 Like prompters we'll direct the scenes, 
 Instruct each fool who plays a part, 
 Yet from the vulgar hide our art ; 
 Make fools our dupes by every deed, 
 We may not, cannot but suc.ceed ! 
 And then — why then, if human thought 
 E'er gloried in the work it wrought, 
 How shall I triumph in that hour, 
 That yields me all I ask of Power. 
 
 * Daniel Webster, f Henry A. Wise. } Harrison. 
 IT Tyler. §Clay. 
 
Magnificos m and Vaparandos.f 
 
 Enter FumJ and Flam,|( (the great Southern Magician.) 
 
 Fum. 
 Good friends, to banish public cares, 
 The mighty Flam with us appears, 
 And hath engaged to please us so 
 In that he purposes to do : 
 We have consented he shall steep 
 Our senses in Mesmeric sleep, 
 So that the past and future rise, 
 As he may will before our eyes ; 
 And by clairvoyance clearly view 
 Each scene or transit we pass thro*. 
 
 Magnificos. 
 Haste then, Great Flam, your power essay ? 
 In feats not furnished every day. 
 For us who know your skill in feats, 
 Of vaultings, tumblings, somersets, 
 There's little fear that we may doubt, 
 Should you turn Fum just inside out. 
 
 Flam 
 Great sirs, I do not seek to addle 
 Your brain with long unmeaning twaddle, 
 Nor by abstractions infinite, 
 Your minds to puzzle or benight, 
 But. by some strong unchallenged facts, 
 Give truth and credence to my acts ; 
 So that the science and the man, 
 May challenge doubt, if doubt you can* 
 
Em 
 
THE MAGICIAN. 19 
 
 Till then, we all must silence keep, 
 The while I charm Great Fum to sleep. 
 
 Then seating Fum upon a chair, 
 The mighty Flam began to stare ; 
 Whilst watching both with anxious eye, 
 The other two stood wondering by. 
 Thus, long they stood, till Flam advancing, 
 His eye with magic meaning glancing, 
 He stood beside, then wildly throwing 
 His arms about, began pow- wowing, 
 Till F.um's great eyes were seen to wink, 
 
 His head to nod and forward sink 
 
 Then with a smile to those around, 
 Great Flam announced the sleep profound 
 Invited both to touch and scan, 
 And then to this effect began : — 
 
 "You see that all's not what ? t appears, 
 
 To smell, touch, taste, or eyes, or ears/ 
 
 And many wondrous things may be, 
 
 Which baffle our philosophy ; 
 
 So Mesmer's magic sleep defies 
 
 Hands, nose, and mouth, and ears and eyes, 
 
 He sleeps and forthwith Pll commence, 
 
 To act upon his slumbering sense, 
 
 And thro' each phrenologic bump, 
 
 Act on the brain with moral pump ; 
 
 By touching each we'll make appear, 
 
 The trait that's hid beneath it there ■ 
 
 Of good or ill, we'll have it soon, 
 
 And first we'll place our touch on 'Tune. 
 
 Flam here proceeded where he said, 
 To place his hand upon Fum's head 
 Who answering to the magic touch, 
 Straightway broke out into this snatch : 
 
 "Come all ye young Whigs of Ohio, 
 
 Come all ye young Democrats too, 
 Come out from among the foul party. 
 
 And vote for old Tippecanoe ! 
 And Tyler too ! ! !" 
 
 
20 THE AGE OP BRASS. 
 
 "Hold! hold! cried Vaparandos, hold ! 
 That song grows hateful as't grows old !" 
 
 Fum. 
 
 "Away ! away ! we'll vote for Clay, 
 
 Success where'er he goes, 
 We'll drink to day as well we may, 
 
 Confusion to his foes." 
 
 Magnificos with threatning frown, 
 Upon the sleeping Fum looked down — 
 While Flam himself perplexed and puzzled, 
 Pow- wowed in vain to get him muzzled, 
 Nor did succeed 'till one or two, 
 More jolly songs were thus got thro'. 
 "Great sirs," quoth the magician, grinning, 
 "I fear my art, not I 's, been sinning, 
 In calling buried feelings forth, 
 Of doubtful use and little worth ; 
 But if forgiven, I'll instead 
 Proceed again to touch his head \ 
 
 Magnificos with smile resigned, 
 And willing ear his head inclined, 
 And Vaparandos dreading worse, 
 Expressed himself as not averse. 
 With this the skilful conjurer struck 
 On Self-esteem, when forth he broke : 
 
 Fum. 
 "Thrice lucky Fum, thy destiny, 
 The Fates have made for ever high, 
 As upwards still thy fate to rise, 
 Success for e'er shall glad thine eyes. 
 Heaven's own especial favorite thou, 
 Triumphant where so e'er you go ; 
 Gaze on the past and learn from thence, 
 How well thou'st earned thy recompense ; 
 Gaze on the future still as kind 
 In promise to thy master mind." 
 
 Magnificos. 
 Something too much of this, great Flam, 
 I cry thee quits in heaven's name ; 
 
THE MAGICIAN. 21 
 
 These vaunting boasts can profit naught, 
 
 Nor serve in any way our thought, 
 
 But if by arts possessed you can, 
 
 In any way confess this man, 
 
 Take from him in his slumbering state, 
 
 His mental guards and make him prate ; 
 
 Tell whom he trusts and whom he doubts 
 
 What his designs towards a ins and outs ;' r 
 
 Whom he will favor, who oppose, 
 
 Who thinks his friends, and who his foes ; 
 
 Who he will aid and who refuse, 
 
 And what his own ambitious views — 
 
 I'm free to say, my .friends and I, 
 
 Will be obliged eternally. 
 
 "For this," quoth Flam, "that 't may be done, 
 
 I'll put yourself in close conjunction ; 
 
 My proxy make thee act magician, 
 
 And touch the bump of his ambition \ 
 
 Which having done, ask what you can, sir, 
 
 Th' obedient tongue wo'n't fail to answer." 
 
 And quickly was it done as said, 
 
 The master's touch was on Fum's head. 
 
 Magnificos. 
 Hast thou reliance, hope and trust, 
 In thy Magnificos? 
 
 Fum. 
 I must. 
 Magnificos. 
 Dost think him honest as he's great, 
 What e'er betide ? 
 
 Fum. 
 He'd sell the state. 
 Magnificos. 
 Why then by thee is he carest, 
 Why not discard ? 
 
 Fum. 
 ? Tis not my interest. 
 
22 THE AGE OF BRASS. 
 
 Magnificos. 
 What hope hast thou ye'll hold together, 
 Himself not first? 
 
 Fum. 
 Hate of another. 
 Magyiificos. 
 That hold is weak, 't may change this hour. 
 What other bond ? 
 
 Fum. 
 His love of power. 
 Magnificos. 
 Well said, good Fum, what e'er it be, 
 Thou'rt knave as well as fool, I see. 
 But tell us now, sir Oracle, 
 ^Vhat fate awaits his course ? 
 
 Fum. 
 His fall. 
 Magnificos. 
 Nay, there thou liest in thy mouth ; 
 Who dooms his fall ? 
 
 Fum. 
 His foe, the South. 
 Magnificos. 
 Nay, now thy words are little worth, 
 To please her, he's betray'd the North, 
 And striven every way to flatter 
 Her local interests. 
 
 Fum. 
 'Tis no matter ! 
 Disguise protection as ye will, 
 She doubts the double traitor still. 
 
 Magnificos. 
 "Thou liest, prophet, in thy speech," 
 He shall succeed tho' false to each ; 
 
THE MAGICIAN. 23 
 
 But tell us ere thy speech gives o'er, 
 How long thou? It rule. 
 
 Fum. 
 Just four years more. 
 Magnijicos. 
 Another term ! thou thinkest so, 
 I'll eat a cart horse if you do ; 
 But by what means prophetic sage ? 
 
 Fum. 
 My present power and patronage. 
 
 Magnijicos. 
 If this should be, who wilt thou name 
 For thy successor next ? 
 
 Fum* 
 Friend Flam. 
 Magnijicos. 
 Enough, I see what thou wouldst do, 
 Thou'dst use, then cast me like a shoe, 
 But thou wilt live thro' thy mistake, 
 As I have made, I can unmake. 
 And you, great Flam, must now perceive, 
 This man may you as me deceive, 
 Use you as well for other ends, 
 Then cast you by for other friends ; 
 Therefore, great sir, with your permission, 
 I would propose a coalition. 
 A combination of such interests, 
 As by th' effect may serve both best ; 
 A union, which when 'ts use is shown, 
 Thou'lt see wilt profit us alone. 
 Thus then, (not to thee as magician,) 
 But to thee as a politician, 
 I think old trades may serve our ends, 
 We have been foes, we must be friends, 
 And bury animosities, 
 In future hopes and nearer ties ; 
 
24 THE AGE OF BRASS, 
 
 And since without this both must lose, 
 £ think you cannot well refuse ; 
 First then to use "this accident," 
 Which heaven hath surely to us sent 
 That we may use, hath powers great, 
 Which in his hands may wreck the State ; 
 But which in ours both joined as brothers, 
 May profit us to injure others. 
 And since extremes are said to meet, 
 I think we may in friendship greet ; 
 Since principles most opposite, 
 To our great ends we must unite, 
 So we shall both advance together, 
 To aid ourselves and damn another. § 
 Tho' now I scarce need call his name, 
 Enough he stands 'twixt us and fame. 
 
 Flam. 
 Magnificos, I take your gage 
 Of friendship, and consent to wage 
 Destructive warfare on all others, 
 Who dare doubt we'll feel as brothers, 
 And tho' our friendship's rather sudden, 
 Let no one therefore doubt ? s a good 'un, 
 For friendships I have ever thought, 
 Are best within a moment wrought ; . 
 Altho ? I think, heaven save the nonce ! 
 You did affect to doubt it once. 
 But as that's past there let it rest, 
 Our friendship's formed by interest, 
 The strongest bond and best of ties, 
 Of man's weak human sympathies ; 
 This part be yours to make amends, 
 And this be mine to make you friends. 
 The North thro' you shall bow to me, 
 Whilst I shall give the South to thee ; 
 And friends on either part shall raise 
 Their pens and voices in our praise. 
 Sing Te Deums to bless the " Union" 
 Which means our rise when all is done : — 
 
THE MAGICIAN, 25 
 
 Yet have I something to advise 
 Before I ope this numskull's eyes. 
 Since he hath harmlessly conceited, 
 Himself, if I may use the word, be greated, 
 I think we might as well appear, 
 To think he should our councils share, 
 Communicating what is safe, 
 Yet keeping back the other half, 
 To end this farce, you Vaparandos, 
 Shall straight present your song "in verse/ 7 
 Whose burthen aptly coincides, 
 With all for which himself he prides ; 
 Which now^in him has grown to rage, 
 The power which springs from patronage ! 
 The mighty Flam, o' the sudden broke, 
 The slumb'ring charm, and Fum awoke : 
 "God blessed" himself, and rubbed his eyes, 
 Then stared about in wild surprise. 
 When Vaparandos by command, 
 Advancing, bowed with cap in hand, 
 Produced the song of which Flam spoke, 
 And on Fum's wand'ring senses broke : 
 "Great sir, we're just now 'in a taking,' 
 To see thee sleeping as in waking, 
 So great you do defy our comments, 
 As great in dreams as waking moments, 
 And that you may not lack diversion, 
 I've writ the thought I would have shown. 
 Which recommends itself to you, 
 Its burthen and its moral true, 
 Of all you seek by power to do. 
 
 SONG. 
 
 ''The ancients were fools, when they prated of virtue, 
 
 And awarded to it approbation; 
 In this sensible age, the strange practice may huit you, 
 
 If practiced in every station. 
 The statesman knows better, his boast is to reisrn, 
 
 Let the meek and the lowly go prize it, 
 He treats it as cant, and turns off in disdain, 
 
 A great man should ever despise it." 
 
 * Webster. fWise. J Tyler. || Calhoun. § Clay. 
 3 
 
 J C 
 
When great things happen, every eye 
 Is turned, in wonder, to know why? 
 And every man exerts tiis sense, 
 To mark what's real, what pretence, 
 T' observe the actors and their aim, 
 And, as it may be, praise or blame ; 
 And he is shrewd who promptly knows, 
 How he shall judge 'twixt friends and foes 
 Distinguish 'twixt the wrong and right, 
 And know his interest at first sight ; 
 And he is bold who dares declare, 
 What his impressions of them are ; 
 If evil, say so, to be just, 
 If good, then praise them as he must, 
 And thus apply the mind which heaven, 
 For wisest purposes hath given. 
 
 And thus it was when very late, 
 
 A great commotion shook the State ; — 
 
 A Monument to parted worth, 
 
 Had been erected in the North, 
 
 And rich and poor, and small and great, 
 
 United were, to dedicate ; 
 
 And that it might be nobly done, 
 
 Magnificos was called upon : 
 
 Whose patriotic heart so well, 
 
 Of patriotic deeds could tell ; 
 
 Whose giant powers could well portray, 
 
 The deeds of heroes passed away; - 
 
 Altho' by some, a doubtful few, 
 
 It was believed ('twixt I and you,) 
 
 Should any Shade he might invoke, 
 
 But come beside him while he spoke, 
 
m 
 
 crs 
 
 EH 
 
THE GUARD. 27 
 
 (Grown too polite when called to stay.) 
 
 Appear with him to share the day, 
 
 The sentence which with praise begun, 
 
 Would turn to jealous hate ere done ; 
 
 And they, while dead, without a stain, 
 
 Were knaves should they return again. 
 
 So jealous was the great man's mood, 
 
 That none who live are half as good ! 
 
 And there were others, not a few, 
 
 Who thought he'd selfish ends in view, 
 
 And that a patriotic fever, 
 
 If well got up, would prove a lever, 
 
 By which opinion might be raised, 
 
 To praise the man who others praised ; 
 
 As if the virtues he admired. 
 
 Were only such as him inspired. 
 
 Then, too, he had some sins to cover, 
 
 By means of this would be looked over, 
 
 And though his acts were bad, be sure, 
 
 Who praise the good themselves are pure. 
 
 Could any think with such impressions,'. 
 
 He'd e'er been guilty of transgressions ? 
 
 They could not think with such opinions, 
 
 That he would mate with fools and minion? — 
 
 Descend from his exalted thought, 
 
 And like a common man be bought. 
 
 Howe'er it be, it was decreed, 
 
 That he should speak, and we should re id, 
 
 Which, since 'tis done, the reader must 
 
 Be quite prepared to doubt or trust; 
 
 Whichever way his thoughts incline, 
 
 He may have his, but I'll have mine ! 
 
 Within a lofty Hall of State, 
 
 The Mighty Fum in power sat, 
 
 And gathered round his high-backed chair. 
 
 His faithful "Guard" in numbers were, 
 
 While crowds of office holders stood, 
 
 In patient waiting on his mood : 
 
 And thought themselves well paid the while, 
 
 Should they but catcli the great man's smile. 
 
28 THE AGE OP BRASS. 
 
 Beside him stood the inspiring bowl, 
 From which he solaced oft his soul ; 
 And thus as thought flagged, he would freshen 
 His mind the more to serve the nation. 
 Who that had gazed upon him then, 
 The most abused, tho' best of men ; 
 The sacrificing patriot, who, 
 Without a selfish end in view, 
 Thus labored with his mental throes, 
 To bless the ungratful crowd, his foes, 
 Had with the mind's eye looked behind, 
 Into his crucible of thought, the mind, 
 And seen how indignation bubbled, 
 Whenever he was crossed or troubled ; 
 How better feeling came t' his aid, 
 And with a word the tumult laid, 
 How patriotic thoughts came o'er him ; 
 While grateful Nations bowed before him ; 
 How scenes of peace and plenty rose, 
 And all were friends and none were foes ; 
 While monsters in the shape of Banks, 
 Were scattering money thro' their ranks, 
 With no design but to destroy, 
 The cause of fullness and of joy; 
 How in a virtuous rage he'd rate ? em, 
 And shake his awful veto at 'em; — 
 Who that had seen, had not confessed, 
 How nobly was this man possessed ; 
 Whose slightest breath, like will of fate, 
 Could bless a world or wreck a state ; 
 Whose smile like summer cheered and glad- 
 dened — 
 Whose frown like winter chilled and saddened ; 
 Who bore the world and all beholders, 
 Like Atlas, on his brawny shoulders. 
 
 In gratulations such as these, 
 Which did not profit more than please, 
 The Mighty Fum consumed an hour, 
 In contemplations of his power ; 
 
THE GUARD. 29 
 
 Then glancing round with conscious pride, 
 Addressed his "Guard" who stood beside :— 
 
 "It often happens in a State, 
 
 Not strength but cunning makes men great, 
 
 And tho' its true robe is the night, 
 
 It always wears a garb of light, 
 
 And gains in Patriotism's name, 
 
 The suffrage paid to Virtue's claim ; — 
 
 It sits in places high ? t hath sought, 
 
 And mocks at ruin it hath wrought, 
 
 Where all its efforts are directed, 
 
 To fortify what 't hath erected ; — 
 
 All public trusts at auction offers, 
 
 The price of virtue fills its coffers, 
 
 And those who offer servile duty. 
 
 Are very sure to get most booty ! 
 
 "How often has it hapt with those, 
 
 Who to Ambition's heights arose, 
 
 And carried with them feeling's pure, 
 
 Their patriotism could endure ? 
 
 Too often on the other hand, 
 
 They've proved but curses to the land ! * 
 
 Now all this goes to prove the fact, 
 
 That Great Men must make use of tact, 
 
 And virtue should we seem to prize it, 
 
 Within our hearts we do despise it ; 
 
 Besides, since it will out, the fact is, 
 
 The virtues, which, to rise, we practise, 
 
 When we have risen, are no longer 
 
 Of any use to make us stronger, 
 
 And therefore worth no second thought ;^- 
 
 Coesar seeking is not Csesar sought. 
 
 Thus much premised, my 'Guard,' we've 
 
 sought you, 
 That this great lesson should be taught you, 
 So that when you have heard us through, 
 You will not think our precepts new, 
 Nor think us in your indignation, 
 The greatest rogue in all the nation, 
 
 3* 
 
30 THE AGE OF BRASS. 
 
 Since Heroes of great name and note 
 We might, to justify them, quote ; 
 Nor need go back to Greece and Rome, 
 Since we may find one nearer home. 
 
 "We know your sensibilities, 
 
 And when you're tasked, would have replies, 
 
 And when you can defend the wrong, 
 
 Are nothing loth to use the tongue ; 
 
 Therefore with these we've sought to please ye, 
 
 That you may have them pat and easy. 
 
 And now, our 'Guard,' you learn that we, 
 
 Captain of Southern Chivalry ! 
 
 Have been invited to the North, 
 
 Where Great Magnificos 'holds forth ;' 
 
 And we shall go, well pleased the while, 
 
 To meet our loving people's smile ; 
 
 Observe th' impression which we'll make 
 
 And cue to future conduct take ; — 
 
 That you may know what is expected 
 
 From you in what we have projected, 
 
 By which to act and serve the better, 
 
 Magnificos has sent this letter, 
 
 In which, like shrewdest politician, 
 
 He has defined his true position : — 
 
 "MAGNIFICOS TO FUM. 
 
 "Greeting: — 
 '•Most Mighty Fura ! that Destiny, 
 Which hath exalted thee so high, 
 Hath so decreed, as we shall find, 
 Two principles do sway mankind ; 
 The one is good, the other evil, 
 And therefore is there God and Devil ! 
 And like the two gods of the Hindoo, 
 One worships Brahma th' other Vishnu. 
 They pray to him who rules in heaven, 
 But all their gifts to th' other's given ; 
 Thus fear produces gain to th' evil, 
 And he gains most who acts the Devil; 
 Which leads me to some shrewd reflections, 
 By which we may command th' elections. 
 
THE GUARD. 31 
 
 "It is a fact,, without a cavil, 
 
 The heart of man is prone to evil, 
 
 And most of men have wants and wishes., 
 
 A hankering after 'loaves and fishes/ 
 
 To purchase which they'll not be nice 
 
 In bartering conscience at our price : 
 
 A set of shrewd and useful fellows, - 
 
 Who know a gate-post from a gallows — 
 
 Who'd soon be ours should it appear, 
 
 They've all to gain and naught to fear. 
 
 Therefore I have conceived a plan, 
 
 Will find a friend in every man. 
 
 Let it but once become th' impression, 
 
 That Honesty's a bad profession, 
 
 That they who get their rules from Church, ~ 
 
 Will find their practice in the lurch ; 
 
 That while they shun a cause of blame, 
 
 The shrewder knaves secure their game; 
 
 That while they strive t' uphold what's just, 
 
 The knaves rush in to profit first — 
 
 Their good resolves will quickly falter, 
 
 And they in crowds will turn to palter. 
 
 "Let it become the crowd's belief, 
 
 The stubborn virtue of their chief, 
 
 Will not permit him to confer 
 
 Rewards upon such men as err : 
 
 The greater portion having sinned, 
 
 Will seek one out less just than kind ; 
 
 Let it become the common notion, 
 
 There's no reward paid to devotion, 
 
 The spring of action's gone from them, 
 
 Those whom they loved they soon condemn. 
 
 But should the feeling get abroad. 
 
 That men are paid as they applaud, 
 
 Their trust in knavery rises higher, 
 
 Than faith in virtue could aspire. 
 
 If virtue's were an easy road, 
 
 No doubt that most men would be good, 
 
 But obstacles are so upon it, 
 
 The mass are most disposed to shun it, 
 
 And think the easy cross-cut best, 
 
 Which leads them to their interest. 
 
 Now if we can persuade the rabble 
 
 That we are willing as we're able, 
 
 That there's not virtue in the land, 
 
 Enough, in a contest, to stand, 
 
 And that its practice's very far 
 
 From being safe or popular i 
 
32 THE AGE OF BRASS. 
 
 That most men are corrupt and base, 
 
 And dread want far more than disgrace— 
 
 Success upon our plan attends, 
 
 Since most are knaves and those our friends. 
 
 Then for the others, would be saints, 
 
 Who practice penance and restraints — 
 
 Affect by conduct and demeanor, 
 
 To have their hands and conscience cleaner — 
 
 These have their price, and but refuse, 
 
 Until the offers meet their views — 
 
 Until the bribe- price which they take, 
 
 Outweighs the interest they've at stake. 
 
 These are the men who cost us double, 
 
 Prom whom we must expect most trouble, 
 
 For reason that our means of giving 
 
 May not buy out the trade they're driving • 
 
 These we must deal with as we find, 
 
 And if we cannot buy them, blind ! 
 
 Disguise our aims by equal feints, 
 
 So they perchance may think us saints, 
 
 And if by this, we gain our ends, 
 
 'Tis clear we'll have the saints for friends ; 
 
 Success is worth, and ever was 
 
 Your loving friend MAGNIFICOS. 
 
 * Mr. Tyler delivered an Oration at Yorktown, Va., on the 19th 
 of October, 1837, which was published, and from which the Tren- 
 ton Gazette furnishes these extracts : 
 
 "In a state of society, cunning achieves what strength is pre- 
 vented from doing. Its true robe is that of the night. But it 
 often assumes a brighter garb and claims, in the name of Patriot- 
 ism, popular support. 
 
 It sits in high places and mocks at the ruin and distress it has 
 produced. Its efforts ARE NOW directed to fortify itself in its 
 new and ILL-ACQUIRED POSITION. It makes public auc- 
 tion of the subordinate offices of State : and those who promise 
 to render the most active and servile service ARE REGARDED 
 AS THE SUCCESSFUL BIDDERS " 
 
 ; 'And how often have those who have reached ambition's heights 
 by proper means, and carried with them pure hearts and patriotic 
 intentions, become corrupt ; and instead of proving a blessing 
 to mankind, have proved themselves the greatest curses." 
 
One stormy night in chill November, 
 
 As cold a night as folks remember, 
 
 'Twas ten o'clock, and every street 
 
 Was cold and damp with rain and sleet ; 
 
 Old chimneys rocked and tiles were cast 
 
 At mercy of the fitful blast ; 
 
 And houses shook, and shutters slammed, 
 
 And stray curs yelpt and hackmen damned ; 
 
 And tavern signs were heard to creak 
 
 As if their very hearts would break, 
 
 And leafless trees swayed to and fro 
 
 As if they'd nothing else to do. 
 
 Still grew the darkness, deep, profound, 
 
 O'er roof and dome and all around, 
 
 And froze the rain, and moaned the blast, 
 
 Like gibbering spirits as it past. 
 
 Each straggler hugged his friendly cloak, 
 
 As home his lonely way he took, 
 
 While all the smiles which blessed his home 
 
 Seem brighter 'mid the deep'ning gloom ; 
 
 And oft he started as he passed, 
 
 At shadows which the street lamp cast ; — 
 
 The sleeping watchman, snug and tight, 
 
 Forgot to hail the passing night; 
 
 And wind and rain and driving sleet, 
 
 Soon held possession of the street. 
 
 Within his arm-chair, snug and warm, 
 Fum* dozing sat, nor heard the storm, 
 Or, if he heard, he thought, no doubt, 
 How very cold it must be out. 
 
34 THE AGE OF BRASS. 
 
 The warm, full bed, and cozy curtain 
 Made pleasant rest and slumber certain, 
 And the warm chair, as you'll suppose, 
 Seemed almost courting him to doze. 
 Within the broad hearth where he gazed, 
 A gladsome fire cracked and blazed, 
 And rose and fell, with cheery sound, 
 Dispensing light and heat around. 
 The clothes he wore, and all his pride, 
 Were botli together laid aside, 
 And in his night gown, at his ease, 
 He felt his comfort much increase ; 
 Small care had he for rain or snows, 
 His Accidency loved his toes — 
 And took his punch, as grateful heat 
 Ran warming thro' his outstretched feet— 
 For 'tis a fact, if folks inquire, 
 Virginia feet do love the fire. 
 Fum warmed his toes and sipped his liquor, 
 Until his thoughts and tongue grew thicker ; 
 Nor could he think, tho' thought he boasted, 
 Whether his feet were warmed or roasted. 
 Thus in his mind discussion grew, 
 Uutil he neither thought or knew ; 
 Yet, tho' he slept, his master mind, 
 When common folks are always blind, 
 Beheld what passed. "What's that I see? 
 The very andiron bows to me !" 
 And so it was, the andiron grew 
 Beneath his Accidency's view, 
 And as it grew, he could but note, 
 Its brass arms stuck beneath its coat; 
 He wondered if 'twould next have wings, 
 For rum and dreams can do strange things. 
 "Great God!" quoth Fum, "what do I see? 
 The very andiron bows to me." 
 
 "Yes, Fum," quoth it, "I bow, you'll find 
 
 A fellow feeling makes us kind. 
 
 I am the Devil, and I feel, 
 
 Of all the rogues who wrong, who steals 
 
FTJM S DREAM. 
 
 35 
 
 Who murder, intrigue, violate, 
 
 I love the rogue who rules a State, 
 
 Because, when he does wrong or says it, 
 
 A thousand knaves and fools must praise it, 
 
 And all the efforts preachers make 
 
 Will not avail, 'tis bound to take ; 
 
 I love you, Fnm, your high position 
 
 Gives rrope to knaves of mean condition, 
 
 When gazing on your strange success, 
 
 They think their own fate can't be less ; 
 
 Makes 't easy men should find a flaw 
 
 In codes of morals and of law ; 
 
 And on their wits, in firm reliance, 
 
 Set all of virtue at defiance ; 
 
 They think that he who like yourself, 
 
 Concentres all in all in self, 
 
 Will find that fate and luck conspire, 
 
 Both, that the knave may rise the higher, 
 
 Both, that a strange success in life, 
 
 May be of knave, fool, fortune rife ; 
 
 That Justice, being blind, must lag, 
 
 That luck's by far the fastest nag, 
 
 And on her back in hope they vault, 
 
 To carry Fortune by assault. 
 
 This serves my ends. It proves when past, 
 
 Knave, fool, and fortune all won't last, 
 
 And while it hides the sure defeat, 
 
 Mind is the profit and the cheat ; 
 
 I've ruled the world and still must rule, 
 
 As long as there's a knave and fool. 
 
 But tell me, Fum, ere I have done, 
 
 Why do I find you all alone? 
 
 How flourishes our common cause, 
 
 Where's Vapy f and Magnificos ; J 
 
 Where's Flam? || I miss him with the rest, 
 
 Who came I think here as a guest : 
 
 A pleasant man — tho 't strikes me brother, 
 
 More for himself than any other !" 
 
 With smile and bow the Devil ceased, 
 
 While F urn's bewilderment increased ; 
 
36 THE AGE OF BRASS. 
 
 He strove to speak — his tongue was thick- 
 Was he in presence of Old Nick ? 
 
 "Yes," quoth the Devil, with a smile, 
 
 "I read your looks and doubts the while, 
 
 I am the Devil, bona fide, 
 
 And you are Fum, who sit beside me, 
 
 So tell me without more ado 
 
 Where are the friends I left with you ?" 
 
 Fum brightened up, tho' ta'en aback, 
 
 "Our friend you mean of Accomac : 
 
 Gone home. Your Darkness's self arn't smarter 
 
 To tell his people he's a martyr ; 
 
 For crafty Yaparandos truly, 
 
 Knows when to cry and when to. bully." 
 
 "There he does right. What of the other, 
 
 Magnificos our friend and brother?" 
 
 "Alas !" quoth Fum, "perhaps you know, 
 
 We do not like each other now." 
 
 "Pshaw !" quoth the Devil, "'tis well known 
 
 When rogues fall out who'll get their own. 
 
 But surely you must think me flat, 
 
 To credit such a tale as that." 
 
 "Well, then," quoth Fum, "the honest fact is, 
 
 He's looking up more thriving practice ; 
 
 Folks did'nt think him, being here, 
 
 In what he did or said sincere ; 
 
 So just to please them, off he goes, 
 
 Declaring former friends his foes-; 
 
 Altho' you know as well as I, 
 
 His virtue's of necessity ; 
 
 And well he knows, and none know better, 
 
 We are for favors not his debtor, 
 
 Since when in all he does or says, 
 
 Himself was pure and we are base. 
 
 We do not mean he does aver it, 
 
 But shrewdly leaves folks to infer it, 
 
 Which is the baser sort of lying, 
 
 Since it prevents us from denying. 
 

 fum's dream. 37 
 
 And now, you'll scarce believe the story, 
 He says he saved the State ! the Tory ! 
 Saved it from war and huge expenses, 
 But faugh ! I'm sick of his pretences. 
 
 "He preaches patriotism ! pshaw ! 
 He showed how much he had last war; 
 His love of purse-proud Englishmen, 
 He feels no doubt as much as them 
 To this, altho' we've no objections, 
 It will not serve him at th' elections. 
 
 "But come, dear Fum, you do forget, 
 
 Our absent brother's sore beset, 
 
 Indeed, the very latest news is, 
 
 He's very hard run for excuses, 
 
 What between questions, sneers and doubts 
 
 In giving hopes to 'ins' and 'outs,' 
 
 Defining tariffs and the power 
 
 To raise an impost or to lower; 
 
 Pointing to means remaining yet 
 
 By which the states may pay their debts, 
 
 Quibbling when questioned what should be 
 
 -Best for a wretched currency ; 
 
 And other questions of great moment, 
 
 On all of which he's forced to comment, 
 
 Puzzled and pressed by friends and foes, 
 
 1 here's much excuse for all he does." 
 
 "We know," quoth Fum, "and without doubt 
 He s changed his views since he went out 
 t or in my Cabinet we know 
 He never did such views avow ; 
 And being chief, we thought it queer 
 If thus he thought, he should stay there 
 Bat you can tell, who seem to know 
 lr he thinks well still of our veto ! 
 Did he or does he now object 
 To our own view in that respect, 
 4 
 
38 THE AGE OF BRASS. 
 
 If so, 'tis very strange in sooth, 
 He has not long since told the truth. 
 Another thought comes o'er our mind, 
 He may be keeping more behind ; 
 Please ask him when you see him next, 
 Of an opinion sometimes vex'd, 
 May be his views are not like ours, 
 Of the extent of veto powers ; 
 Perhaps he'll think we are afflicted, 
 Unless those powers are restricted ; 
 No doubt he will, a Whig so pure, 
 Will never dodge at that be sure ; 
 No doubt, he will, and next persuade us 
 His treaty was the thing that made us, 
 As if the State had naught to do 
 Put getting English quarrels thro', 
 Which after all's been said upon, 
 Has done less than't has left undone, 
 Where is the Right of Search ? confound it ! 
 .lust in the same place where he found it. 
 What has the South got in the end ? 
 Great things no doubt — an English friend ! 
 We say no more, because you know him, 
 But if he anger us, we'll blow him !" 
 
 "Nay, Fum, you know you have been drinking? 
 And speak without your sober thinking ; 
 Has he not praised you without end 
 About that selfsame treaty, friend? 
 Come, be a man and let that pass, 
 Or I shall think vou are an ass !" 
 
 u He praise. What is his praise or blame, 1 
 The one or other, 'tis the same, > 
 
 They're neither worth a tinker's damn !" } 
 
 "Good Fum ! sweet Fum ! just hear me out- 
 He's done injustice without doubt; 
 But you know well when in the tether. 
 You could not both get on together ; 
 
39 
 
 Then being sundered, don't forget 
 
 That both may want each other yet. 
 
 Now look ye, Fum ! I'll tell you what 
 
 Our absent brother would be at : 
 
 He would appear as if above 
 
 The hate of parties or their love, 
 
 To stand above all politics, 
 
 Their aims, opinions, and their tricks, 
 
 To stand apart from all, alone, 
 
 His aim his country's, not his own. 
 
 He is a great man, Fum, you'll own, 
 
 And greatness will for much atone ; 
 
 And you yourself would cease t' assail him, 
 
 Could you but hear the people hail him ; 
 
 Such cries of 'hear him,' 'go on,' 'good,' 
 
 Ne'er burst from cheated multitude ; 
 
 So do they love the man who seems 
 
 To realize their foolish dreams. 
 
 But, Fum, it 'seems not you or I 
 
 To rate a man for treachery, 
 
 Since in the deed if there be shame, 
 
 Both have deserved alike the blame ; 
 
 Your treason but extends to States, 
 
 Mine to a higher power relates, 
 
 You grasped at power, I did the same. 
 
 The treason differs but in name. 
 
 You grieve to find men false as well, 
 
 Your fate is friendless, mine is hell, 
 
 Both found defeat where both had striven, 
 
 You lose but friends, I lost a heaven !" 
 
 The Devil vanished as he spoke, 
 
 While clouds of ashes and of smoke 
 
 Flew up the chimney in delight, 
 
 As if to aid his sudden flight ; 
 
 Fum rubbed his eyes and looked to see 
 
 The Devil in reality. 
 
 Could he have dreamed, or was it true ? 
 
 The old brass andiron met his view, 
 
 And in the hearth burned dim and low, 
 
 The fire which was expiring now ; 
 
40 THE AGE OF BRASS. 
 
 A strange dull feeling in his head, 
 Warned him 'twas time to go to bed, 
 With tottering steps he sought his rest, 
 Where soon he snored as't may be guessed 
 He snored away, and any fellow 
 Might do the same who got as mellow. 
 

 — - 
 
 P3 
 
 eg 
 
J <| I 6' I ili K i f' J; 
 
 1 MJ'-H.-.H 
 
 bI 
 
 How little do the humble know 
 Wliat miseries greatness is heir to, 
 What heart-aches, jealousies and eares 
 Beset their anxious hearts with fears ; 
 When high resolves have once elated, 
 What pain to see them all frustrated ; 
 What hellish passions take their place, 
 When failure brings with it disgrace ; 
 How stoop their minds beneath the blow, 
 To every thing that's mean and low ; 
 What shifts they make, what agents use, 
 Whatever gives hope they madly choose ; 
 With naught to risk, they spare no cost 
 To gain position they have lost; 
 Debased themselves, they seek to find 
 A kindred baseness in mankind, 
 And feeling sol f condemned the while, 
 Would think all others just as vile. 
 
 7 Twas eve of one eventful day, 
 As story tellers always say, 
 The orator had far surpassed 
 His greatest effort and his last, 
 And all the world went home in thought 
 On all the wondrous things he taught. 
 The day had passed—the crowd had gone 
 And all that had been said or done 
 Were records of the silent past. 
 Say, will his fleeting triumph last? 
 The fierce excitements of the day 
 Had chased the great man's griefs away ; 
 4+ 
 
42 THE AGE OF BRASS, 
 
 But now, when all was calm again, 
 
 Began the torments of his brain, 
 
 And in his silent chamber, there 
 
 Awoke the vision of despair. 
 
 No longer from his flashing eye, 
 
 Shot life, and mind, and energy, 
 
 But lone, and silent, and subdued, 
 
 He yielded to his sullen mood. 
 
 Long time he sat convulsed and wrought, 
 
 Till words gave utterance to his thought 
 
 u Oh, what a wretched thing am I, 
 The veriest fool of Destiny ! 
 How meanly have I sunk below 
 The dignity of honest woe ; 
 How have I lost that high estate 
 I held amid the good and great, 
 And sunk beneath my own approval, 
 Condemned myself to cringe and grovel ; 
 I grasped at power, fool ! fool ! the thought 
 Now mocks the ruin it hath wrought — 
 Time was when even foes respected, 
 But now how fallen and neglected ; 
 The stake was power for which I cast, 
 'Twas but its shadow, and it passed ; 
 My friends betrayed — I fondly bowed, 
 To woo the passions of the crowd ; 
 But failing there, I sought again 
 My former standing to regain, 
 Ail will not answer, on my sight 
 The future rises to affright, 
 And in that future well I mark, 
 A path as devious and as dark !" 
 
 "The Devil took sick, 
 
 The Devil a saint would be ; 
 The Devil s:ot well, 
 
 The devil a saint was he !" 
 
 "Ha!" cries Magnificos, # u 'tis thou ; 
 Well hast thou timed to tempt me now !" 
 
43 
 
 Arid sure enough, polite and civil, 
 
 There stood our laughing, friendly Devil ; 
 
 Who, with his usual courtly grace, 
 
 Smiled sweetly in the great man's face, 
 
 And with his cloven foot before him, 
 
 Bowed very low in all decorum. 
 
 "Nay, there you wrong yourself ! not swerve you, 
 
 But tell me, great sir, can I serve you." 
 
 So sweet he smiled, and bowed so low, 
 
 The great man thanked. What could he do ? 
 
 "Thanks ! thanks," Magniflcos replied, 
 For Satan had aroused his pride, 
 And in the presence of the devil, 
 He wished t' appear at least as civil. 
 "If I have doubted, let it pass, 
 Henceforth I'll be no whimpering ass, 
 But, faithful to myself and you, 
 Be firm in what 1 think and do !" 
 
 "Bravo !"" cried Satan, "'tis well said, 
 And worthy of your heart and head ; 
 But tell me, if I don't offend, 
 Why you should ever doubt, my friend ?" 
 
 " Why thus it is ! I see too clearly, 
 My friends are falling from me yearly ; 
 The more I strive, the more they fail me, 
 While foes on every side assail me !" 
 
 "Nonsense," quoth Satan, "where 's your pride 
 Great men like you ar'n't cast aside ; 
 With too much mind to work them evil, 
 They'll court you yet, or I'm no Devil !" 
 
 "Have I not striven night and day, 
 
 To lead opinion my own way, 
 
 And used the powers of wealth and station, 
 
 To gain the good will of the nation— 
 
 And to what end ? — except to grieve me, 
 
 The very knaves I fed deceive me." 
 
44 THE AGE OF BRASS. 
 
 "Patience!" cried Satan, "patience, kind sir, 
 Your very hurry makes you blind, sir. 
 Where is your great 'Scheme of Relief,' 
 That pocket-guide for every thief? 
 The great two hundred million bill, 
 Think you it works no mischief still, 
 Think you each Demagogue forgets 
 That novel way to pay States' debts ; 
 When gazing on States' empty coffers, 
 He sees the prospect which it offers, 
 Hemmed in by troubles and vexation, 
 Committed to Repudiation ! 
 Think you he sees not hereabout 
 A very fine way to get out, 
 And chuckles, as he fondly eyes 
 Repudiation in disguise?" 
 
 "Zounds !" quoth the great man, with a start. 
 "I tell thee, Devil as thou art, 
 This bantering tone 's all very fine, 
 But that at least 's no plan of mine !" 
 
 "All mighty well," quoth Satan, grinning, 
 "How very coy you are while sinning ; 
 But I who know your modest way, 
 Will not except to what you say, 
 And all the less, most faultless brother, 
 Since all the world now blames another !f 
 But ue'ertheless it works my ends, 
 And cannot make us else than friends." 
 
 "Well then to please you, call it mine, 
 But where 's the evil you divine ?" 
 
 "'Tis here," quoth Satan, "you forget, 
 By this plan, no State pays its debt, 
 And if the United Nation does it, 
 'Tis clear each bankrupt State still owes it. 
 And farther, goes to prove the fact, 
 They are not sovercigti in that act ; 
 
THE GREAT MAN'S FRIEND. 45 
 
 And only shows, if sovereign ones, 
 
 They have a sovereign hate of duns. 
 
 Besides, if they've repudiated, 
 
 The social evil 's not abated, 
 
 But only put off for a time, 
 
 No less a record than a crime ; 
 
 To be called up some other day, 
 
 When bankrupt States refuse to pay, — 
 
 A precedent as full of evil, 
 
 As I could wish, altho' the Devil !" 
 
 Magnincos, who, first astonished, 
 Smiled as the Devil thus admonished ; 
 Smiled as lie saw his views displayed, 
 In what the Devil shrewdly said — 
 Smiled as he saw himself unmasked, 
 And thus of Satan, smiling, asked : — 
 
 Who serves the Devil, 
 
 Devil take him ; 
 Say will the Devil 
 E'er forsake him ? 
 
 "No!" cried the Devil, of a sudden, 
 "Magniflcos this is a good 'un, 
 You would, by joke, assume superior, 
 Whereas in fact you are inferior, 
 And being servant, aye don't stir, sir ! 
 You must obey ! A slave you are, sir. 
 A slave you are in spite your mind, 
 Your mental power o'er mankind — 
 A slave you are, because you'll cheat, 
 And therefore are you mine, tho' great, 
 A slave you are ; and now believe me, 
 You cannot, if you would, deceive me ; 
 In all that does relate to sin, 
 I give the power, you but take in." 
 
 "Nay ! nay, your Darkness, pause a while, 
 My joke was made to raise a smile, 
 But since the jest 's misunderstood, 
 I'll enter on't in sober mood ! 
 
46 THE AGE OP BRASS. 
 
 What had I left bat to pursue, 
 
 A scheme of juggling, false as new ; 
 
 Cheat willing knaves into their interest, 
 
 And thus subserve your own view best, 
 
 For you know quite as well as any, 
 
 Yirtue's no favorite of 'the many.' 
 
 To preach it will do well enough, 
 
 But bah ! the practice is all stuff ; 
 
 'Tis very well for us to cry, 
 
 Honor and manly probity, 
 
 For when we cheat should we cry out, 
 
 Each fool would know what we're about, 
 
 Thus pilfering rogues in public places, 
 
 Put on fine clothes and honest faces -, 
 
 Then filch from every well stuffed pocket, 
 
 Because their face and clothes don't look it. 
 
 So we keep morals, as you know, 
 
 One suit for use, one suit for show ; 
 
 Each is a knave in his degree, 
 
 The more the mind the more knave he, 
 
 And each one hopes from last to first, 
 
 He can do what no other durst, 
 
 And chuckles with an inward glee, 
 
 That none have quite such tact as he ; 
 
 And yet you could not more offend, 
 
 Than to be called each rascal's friend \ 
 
 They'd spurn you, sir, if small or great one, 
 
 And cry in scorn, 'A vaunt thee, Satan !' 
 
 Such are mankind, and as I find them, 
 
 I but resolved to cheat and blind them." 
 
 "Well done!" cried Satan, "I'm your debtor, 
 
 I could not, had I wished, thought better ; 
 
 Give me thy hand, since truly thou art 
 
 In thought and act my counterpart ; 
 
 So like, if there, (if such could be,) 
 
 You had been kicked from heaven with me ; 
 
 But there is one thing yet, great sir, 
 
 In which, perhaps, like me you err : 
 
 Which is, howe'er you may disguise, 
 
 You show your animosities. 
 
47 
 
 This is not well, you should correct it, 
 
 Or else your foes be sure'll detect it, 
 
 And use it when opposed they meet you, 
 
 And by your very hate defeat you ; 
 
 Therefore because I do respect you, 
 
 Just let me add a friendly lecture : 
 
 And with more right because the fact is, 
 
 1 once paid dearly for its practice ; 
 
 First, then, your hatred is a virtue, 
 
 And should be made to serve, not hurt you— 
 
 Therefore that it may serve your end, 
 
 Go join your foes and seem their friend ; 
 
 Go to their strong-holds, court their chiefs, 
 
 Praise their successes, soothe their griefs, 
 
 Join in their plans for siege or sally, 
 
 And let your voice be first to rally ; 
 
 Lead in their front until the strife 
 
 Hangs trembling on each leader's life — 
 
 Then in that hour of hopeful thought, 
 
 When triumph seems already bought ! 
 
 Then, when a single trust betrayed, 
 
 May ruin all the Vantage made ! 
 
 Then ! then ! and not till then, the hour 
 
 Has come, in which thy hate has power ! 
 
 My speech is done — my mission thro', 
 
 The rest, great sir, I leave to you !" 
 
 "Enough !" the great man cried, "I see 
 The triumph and the treachery ; 
 And by my soul in that dark hour, 
 There's one shall feel my hate and power. "J 
 
 "Hand on it," quoth the Devil bowing, 
 "I feel 'tis time I should be going ; 
 But e'er my friendly leave I take, 
 I've fancy for a hearty shake." 
 The great man seized the proffered hand, 
 But had he grasped a lighted brand, 
 His quivering nerves and changing look, 
 Had not such sudden torture spoke. 
 
48 
 
 THE AGE OF BRASS. 
 
 He strove to free his hold — but no,".' 
 That scorching grasp would not let go. 
 "Compact," I heard the Devil say, 
 And thought it time to move away, 
 Lest he should call me in as witness, 
 For which I felt a strange unfitness ; 
 Besides his partings seemed so bland, 
 I had no wish to take his hand, 
 And rather would be thought uncivil, 
 Than be so friendly with the Devil. 
 
 Webster, f Cost Johnson. \ Clay- 
 
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