'm^mw&0l 
 
 mm'iWks 
 
 . W. SAY,I.ER 
 
Class PS 3537 
 
 Book_ ^A9S5_S5. 
 
 Copyright N° , 
 
 COPYRIGHT DEPOSIT. 
 
SKID AND I 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 OR, THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 BY / 
 
 GEORGE W. SAYLER 
 
 
 EL WOOD, INDIANA 
 
 SAYLER PUBLISHING COMPANY 
 
 1902 
 
Copyright, Nineteen Hundred Two 
 By G. W. Sayler 
 
 THE LIBRARY OF 
 CONnRESS, 
 
 iUN. 28 1902 
 
 COPVRIQHT ENTT?V 
 
 CLASS C^ XXc Mo. 
 COPY B. 
 
 753^37 
 
 •••a «••»• 
 
 The Hollenbeck Press 
 Indianapolis 
 
CO 
 
 r 
 
 TO MY CHILDREN 
 LELA AND LLOYD 
 
CONTENTS 
 
 Skid and I 1 
 
 Two Motherless Children 331 
 
 The Little Widow 334 
 
 Sammy and Noma 337 
 
 Kissing at the Front-Yard Gate 343 
 
 The Three Old Maids 349 
 
 Charley and Lizzie 352 
 
 Close of School 354 
 
 The Nymph of Seventeen 356 
 
 Sunday School 358 
 
 A Dream 361 
 
 More Trouble than Pleasure - 363 
 
 How He Popped the Question 369 
 
 Pipinger the Fisherman 370 
 
 Mell and Ollie 375 
 
 The Foolish Little Lady ' 378 
 
 My Own Acrostic 380 
 
 The Creamery Folks 381 
 
 When We Lived in Hazelwood 383 
 
 The Slanderer 389 
 
 Appetite 391 
 
 Old-Fashion ed 394 
 
 On Leaving Home 396 
 
 The Sage of Plainfield 399 
 
 Ruth and Ray 418 
 
 Ice Cream Party 420 
 
 June 423 
 
 The Old Cat and Kittens 426 
 
AUTHOR 8 PREFACE 
 
 At the close of the Nineteenth Century, in looking 
 back over the many wonderful changes that have 
 taken place, and especially in the last quarter of a 
 century, affecting the minds and conditions of the 
 people, there are none, perhaps, more sweeping in 
 their effect, nor more radical in their application, 
 than the change in belief or understanding of future 
 rewards and punishments. The idea was preached 
 from almost every pulpit, and taught from a like 
 proportion of hearthstones, with all the eloquence and 
 zeal of their misguided conceptions, of a located, a 
 material hell, many times hotter than the ingenuity 
 of man has ever been able to produce, in which to 
 punish nonmaterial beings. That belief has been 
 so thoroughly exploded that it is no longer enter- 
 tained, unless it be by a very meager few, and they are 
 disappearing just as fast as the march of intelligence 
 reaches the younger ones and the grim reaper 
 "Death" plucks the older ones from the more thrifty 
 
 ix 
 
AUTHOR'S PREFACE 
 
 plants. I believe that there are other errors and 
 misconceptions equally grave and misleading and 
 just as necessary to be eradicated from the minds 
 of the people as the ones just mentioned, and I be- 
 lieve that the time is near at hand when all mankind 
 will know through the demonstration of "Truth'' 
 itself; when they will know just as well as we now 
 know that both light and darkness, in their fullest 
 extent, can not occupy the same space at the same 
 time ; that such beliefs are a travesty upon the prin- 
 ciples and teachings of God Himself. As God is 
 "good," not as a good man, a good woman, etc., but 
 He is "good" itself, and the author of all good, and, 
 as He is the author of all things, all things must be 
 good in a spiritual — not in a mortal sense. God is 
 principle, and principle, as two and two are four, 
 can not change, and as all things were created 
 through principle, man, the highest idea of that 
 principle, was created good, and as God is unchange- 
 able His works are unchangeable also. Hence, man, 
 as the image and likeness of God, ever has been, is 
 to-day, and ever will be, good in a spiritual sense. 
 
 At the time of the so-called fall of Adam, I think 
 man conceived an idea of his own selfish importance; 
 
 X 
 
AUTHOE^S PEEFACE 
 
 he believed in a power within himself. He beeame 
 mortal, not through the works of Gocl, but by his 
 own false belief, and as a consequence he has suf- 
 fered by his own law. And although mortal mind 
 has no power (for God has all power, and God is 
 not mortal), 3^et it reflects its baneful influence over 
 all mankind; even the unborn babe falls under the 
 ban of its false belief. Now, that false belief is 
 the "Devil'^ and the only devil in existence — the 
 works of man and not of God. Hence all mankind 
 have their full share of devils, but as God has all 
 power we are not powerless, but we are perfectly able 
 to cast off these devils (false beliefs), and, in exact 
 proportion as we do so, we become (as Christ said) 
 perfect, even as the Father in Heaven is perfect. 
 
 I think this changed condition of man was clearly 
 understood by Milton when he said: "Farewell, 
 happy fields, where joy forever dwells ! Hail hor- 
 rors ! Hail infernal world ! And thou, prof oundest 
 Hell, receive thy new possessor (mortal mind), one 
 who comes with a mind not to be changed by place 
 nor time, for mind is its own place, and in itself 
 can make a heaven of Hell, a hell of Heaven.^' 
 
 In my poem I have endeavored, as well as I could 
 xi 
 
AUTHOE^S PEEFACE 
 
 through the realms of rhyme, to follow the line of 
 argument indicated in this preface, that the Devil 
 is our own evil thoughts and that Hell and Heaven 
 are conditions of mind and not locations. Heaven, 
 a perfect condition of peace and harmony; Hell is 
 discord, including all that is evil, the opposite of 
 good, or God. And to do that the more perfectly 
 and in accordance with my own way of thinking, I 
 have necessarily started with my place of birth, near 
 the present site of Cutler, Carroll County, Indiana. 
 
 As seemed to me best, I devoted a good deal of 
 space in covering the time from my entrance upon 
 the arena of life to that all important event in every 
 boy's life, of being a "man.'' 
 
 In my imaginary way I have woven into rhyme 
 many scenes both real and fancied, that will, I 
 think, bring vividly to mind many of the scenes of 
 pioneer life. 
 
 It is perhaps an aphorism, and none the less true, 
 that at the age of sixteen I had become "smart," as 
 the majority of boys do at that age. I began to 
 deviate from my parents' way of teaching. I ate of 
 the forbidden fruit; I listened to the whims and 
 
 Xll 
 
AUTHOR'S PREFACE 
 
 caprices of our coininoii adversary, our own evil 
 thoughts, the Devil or mortal mind. 
 
 And, as the reader Avill see, when we es2)ied the 
 great apparition we were frightened into insensi- 
 bility, but shortly regained our composure, as boys 
 are apt to do on entering for the first time the 
 saloon, the gambling den, the bawdy houses, etc., 
 and, true to nature, on beholding a second, a third 
 time, etc., it became more tolerable, until finally, as 
 Pope has well said: 
 
 ''Vice is a monster of so frightful mien. 
 As to he hated needs hut to he seen, 
 Yet seen too often, familiar with his face, 
 We first endure, then pity, then emhrace." 
 
 And so we did, we were frightened; we looked 
 again, ^twas not so bad. It grew interesting; it led, 
 we followed ; it vanished from sight and our curiosity 
 was excited. On and on we went in the dark ways 
 of the wicked. Our carnal mind had gained the 
 ascendency. We turned our backs on all that was 
 good and followed our own evil thoughts into the 
 imaginary cave, the dark and crooked ways of sin 
 and iniquity. 
 
 xiii 
 
AUTHOR'S PREFACE 
 
 Once within, things did not appear so bad, and we 
 continued our course deeper and deeper, until we 
 reached a period when life became more serious, and 
 we began to reflect upon our past lives and to con- 
 template something better for the future. Then it 
 was, when the Light of Truth, of Right, began to 
 dawn upon us, that "Evil," the mortal nature of 
 man, the "Devil," presented itself in a very formida- 
 ble manner, and addressed us in language of no 
 doubtful meaning. Then we might have changed 
 our course, but, "Almost thou persuadest me to be a 
 Christian." We dawdled on the way, we halted 
 between two opinions; and at last, in a somewhat 
 comatose condition, we continued our downward 
 course. 
 
 Then, the leaven was working, a new thought 
 had been awakened. The rays of "Truth" were 
 beaming in our hearts, but we met the fair maidens, 
 the serpent, the false g'uide, Neighbor Thief, Queen 
 of Hell, and the Devil himself, on various occasions, 
 and many other weird monsters in that foul place, 
 the imaginary Hell. 
 
 Then, could we have been anything other than 
 mortal; could we have stepped out as a pliant re- 
 xiv 
 
AUTHOR'S PREFACE 
 
 ceptacle to the effulgent rays of the sunshine of 
 "Truth" and thus have avoided the damning influ- 
 ence of that baneful star of misfortune that ever 
 seems to cast its rays of light dimly upon the path- 
 way of the wicked, we might have been able to look 
 back over our past lives with pleasure, and not with 
 regret; with pride, and not with sorrow; for it was 
 within us to make a heaven of Hell, not a hell of 
 Heaven. 
 
 But alas ! In our downward course we passed 
 many strange sights and scenes, and very many sad 
 experiences. And while we had not yet learned to 
 place our trust in Him, whose image and likeness 
 we are, yet the few rays of light which we had 
 gained were sufficient to sustain us at all times and 
 under all circumstances. 
 
 The tempter (the false guides — ^our own wicked 
 thoughts) followed us and approached us at every 
 opportunity and never failed to present their case 
 with seeming fairness, and, in fact, we were often 
 confused, and sometimes misled by the logic of their 
 reasoning, and, as a consequence, Skid and I began 
 to quarrel, and finally separated as a finale to our 
 long and unbroken friendship. As we progressed 
 
 XV 
 
AUTHOR^S PREFACE 
 
 our own guilty conscience made our pathway much 
 more difficult. The way became narrower and nar- 
 rower until the dilemma which presented itself had 
 but two horns ; we must accept the one or the other — 
 follow the dictates of evil into everlasting ruin, or 
 cast off all evil and accept the principles of Truth — 
 and while we Avere in that condition of mind the 
 same evil thought — the false guide appeared on the 
 scene, and Skid, my bosom friend, deserted me, and 
 I was left alone to work out my own salvation, and, 
 in that trying hour, I listened somewhat to the 
 tempter. Consequently they started and I followed 
 them down that awful declivity into Bacchaus Town. 
 There, in that awful, that soul-cursed field of 
 deepest Hell, I saw my true self, the inner man, 
 pure and spotless as God created me. Like a beau- 
 tiful flower of the valley, blooming in the sunshine 
 and showers of returning spring, I saw myself bask- 
 ing in the exuberant rays of immortal glory, of divine 
 love, of perfect peace and harmony; in the eternal 
 verity of my own being I saw myself reflecting the 
 great Creator, the Author and Finisher of all things. 
 Then again, I saw myself in my false condition, 
 stained and contaminated, time-worn and sore, 
 xvi 
 
AUTHOR'S PREFACE 
 
 bruised and bleeding at the hands of mortal mind. 
 Like stains on white linen I saw mortal mind plac- 
 ing its cloven feet and blood-stained hands upon me. 
 Then it was that I prayed with all the fervency of 
 my manhood, not for God to do aught for me, for 
 God finished His work in the beginning, but that I 
 might be able to see and accept the great principles 
 of Truth, of Right, and thus, indeed, become a free 
 man. 
 
 But my own selfish nature was not entirely sub- 
 dued. 1 was not ready to give up all and follow 
 Christ, hence I continued my course of damning, 
 staining and abusing my immortal soul, which, 
 though perfect, can only be made spotless again by 
 and through the efficacy of the principles and teach- 
 ings of Truth, the blood of the Lamb. 
 
 We had gone but a short distance when troubles 
 still more grave confronted us. This time the Devil, 
 instead of stepping out like a brave and gallant foe, 
 came up at the rear, thus shutting ofl; the last avenue 
 of retreat, compelling us (as is true to life) to go 
 on along the journey of life. Being left entirely 
 alone I became despondent and found myself stand- 
 ing on the brink of despair, with the awful abyss 
 xvii 
 
AUTHOirS PREFACE 
 
 below me, when a still small voice said to me, "leap," 
 and that all would yet be right. I did so; I found 
 the Devil asleep, witli tlie key to Hell resting on 
 liis l)reast. I seized the key, and the Devil was 
 ))ound hand and foot. 
 
 Here the reader will observe that I went back to 
 the days of my infancy, and, in doing so, I learned 
 \hiit thoughts are things as real and as potent as 
 the more tangil)le things of earth. In my retro- 
 spective and introspective view of my entire past 
 life T learned, very much to my surprise and very 
 frequently to my chagrin, that all my misfortunes 
 in life were a natural and inevita1)le seipience to my 
 own evil thoughts and wrong doings. 
 
 Then, in the light of "Truth," my foes became 
 my friends. I saw myself, not as myself, but as the 
 image and likeness of tjod, entirely aside and inde- 
 pendent of my own selfish nature, and, in doing so, 
 the wrongs of others disappeared and I was almost 
 overwhelmed at the changed condition of my own 
 conscience. 
 
 Then it was that T learned that ihere is but one 
 power, God, and that the so-called Devil and liis 
 power is only a false belief of the carnal mind, and 
 xviii 
 
AUTHOR'S PREFACE 
 
 as I had cast off that belief I became indeed a free 
 man. 
 
 I had learned that God made all things perfect 
 in principle in the beginning, and as principle can 
 not change, all things mnst be perfect yet, and, as 
 God finished His work in the beginning, it remains 
 only for man to accept the great principles of Trnth, 
 and, as Christ said, we shall become perfect even as 
 the Father in Heaven is perfect. 
 
 G. W. Sayler. 
 
 XIX 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 OR 
 
 THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 'Twas my good fortune to be born 
 Where people raise both wheat and corn, 
 And many things to eat are grown, 
 And homes the people mostly own. 
 ^Twas there, things being as they may, 
 That first I saw the light of day. 
 And here my story must begin, 
 The origin of all my sin. 
 And while my life might have been worse. 
 My epitaph I'll write in verse, 
 And those who read may judge my case, 
 And place me in my proper place. 
 And should my name be high or low 
 In fame, His not for me to know. 
 Nor do I care to speculate 
 On what perchance may be my fate. 
 1 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 For great and many were my falls 
 
 Already, yet if duty calls, 
 
 I'll ply my pen as best I can 
 
 To please the mind of mortal man. 
 
 But first to please is not mankind, 
 
 But God, who stimulates my mind 
 
 To write of home, and friends, and Earth, 
 
 And tell you where I had my birth. 
 
 'Twas in a quiet, lonely place. 
 Where I on Earth began my race. 
 And while the place may be unknown, 
 It dearer much to me has grown. 
 And should I live a thousand years, 
 For it I'd shed most copious tears. 
 When all alone I meditate 
 On all that's happened me of late, 
 No matter when it was or where, ' 
 I often lisp this little prayer, 
 
 "God bless my dear old childhood home, 
 No matter where I chance to roam," 
 To me the dearest place on earth. 
 Because it was my place of birth, 
 And where I learned the little prayer. 
 And lisped it with snch childish care, 
 2 
 
THE DEVIL IX CHAINS 
 
 Like thit^ : "I lay me down to sleep, 
 I pray the Lord my soul to keep." 
 But more than that Ell not repeat, 
 Though little more makes it complete. 
 I fancy now I see it still, 
 Benieath the long receding hill. 
 In Carroll county on Wild Cat, 
 Where papaws groAV, and this and that. 
 And white oak timbers scrape the skies. 
 And shellbark hickories higher rise 
 And wave their branches out of sight, 
 While mushrooms spring up in the night. 
 And little birds in early spring 
 Among the lower branches sing, 
 And build their nests, and rear their youn« 
 To sing the songs that they have sung. 
 And little lambs would skip and play. 
 If but the dogs would stay away ; 
 But they had trouble, too, you see, 
 As well as little boys like me. 
 And deer, at that time, chewed their cuds. 
 And raccoons rambled through the woods 
 And served their own efficient cause 
 By violating poultry laws, 
 3 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 And carrying- olf a big fat hon, 
 In spite of all the dogs and men ; 
 And foxes, toO;, as well as they, 
 Upon the chickens oft would prey; 
 And like the ^coons they came at night, 
 And seemed to think it their birthright. 
 The forest then with trees stood thick 
 As Sammy Jones's walking stick; 
 And passing through them oft you'd hear 
 The tinkling cowbells far and near. 
 And oft the pheasants' wings would whir, 
 And all of nature seemed astir. 
 The mink, the weasel, and muskrat. 
 And frequently the fierce wild cat. 
 Were known to prowl about at night 
 x\nd rol) the hen-roosts as of right. 
 And turkeys wild were often found. 
 With gobble, gobble, all around. 
 And when the winter long was gone. 
 And warmer days began to dawn. 
 The snow to melt, the ice to thaw. 
 And crows to sound their caw, caw, caw. 
 And cows themselves began to lick. 
 And horses all looked fat and slick, 
 4 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAHSTS 
 
 And little birds began to sing 
 To greet the gentle coming spring — 
 Then consin Butterfly you'd see, 
 As well contented as the Bee. 
 She'd flit about for hours and hours, 
 And nectar sip from many flowers. 
 But never laid away a store 
 A winter cold to feed her o^er. 
 She seemed to give that no concern, 
 For God provides for that in turn, 
 And not like me, poor mortal man, 
 Must do the very best I can. 
 I earn my clothes by labor hard. 
 But they their garments old discard, 
 And in their garments rich and new, 
 A beauteous creature brought to view; 
 And sculptor never drew such lines 
 As nature thus on her defines. 
 But here my duty seems so plain 
 That I'll return to man's domain. 
 Then outdoor ovens were the style 
 For baking bread once in a while ; 
 Once every week they baked at least. 
 And nothing used but home-made yeast. 
 5 
 
SKID AND 1 
 
 And 0, such bread ! It was the best, 
 As many people will attest. 
 The pies and cakes— well, they were good, 
 For such old ladies ahvays would 
 Have nothing but good things to eat, 
 From apple sauce to- bread and meat. 
 But 111 not give the bill of fare. 
 For failure means with me despair ; 
 But this I'll say in their behalf : 
 Though people young at old follvs laugh, 
 That they a plenty always had. 
 And quite enough to make one mad 
 Because he couldn't still more take 
 Before 'twas time to try the cake. 
 And should I vulgar here appear, 
 Then read it low, but do not hear, 
 Because they'd eat until they must 
 The table leave or they would bu'st. 
 Then everything by hand was done, 
 Before the rush of things begun. 
 The corn by hand was planted then — 
 'Twas dropped by fairer hands than men, 
 For fairest ladies of the land 
 Dropped hill by hill with ungloved hand— 
 6 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAINS 
 
 Those very names we now adore; 
 They've gone, to meet us here no more. 
 The wool was changed from wool to yarn, 
 And wheat was tramped out in the barn ; 
 The flax was grown and broke and spun — 
 In short, all things by hand were done. 
 The buckskin pants, though warm, I'm told, 
 When first put on were stinging cold. 
 And almost froze the very skin 
 Of mornings cold when you'd crawl in. 
 For underwear was not worn then. 
 Except by old and feeble men. 
 And as for health, I'm safe to say, 
 'Twas quite as good as 'tis to-day. 
 For such diseases as catarrh. 
 Or Bright's disease, as now they are. 
 Were then almost or quite unknown, 
 Though prevalent they since have grown. 
 Young men a-wooing oft would go 
 In home-made clothes from head to toe. 
 Thus clad, the horny-handed son 
 His neighbor's daughter often won. 
 And when the nuptial knot was tied. 
 Then on one horse they both would ride, 
 7 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 With him in front and her behind, 
 As people old would call to mind. 
 It makes me sad when I reflect, 
 But older people recollect. 
 Much more than I'm presumed to know. 
 Of two score years or more ago. 
 But as I spin my thread along. 
 If I should make it quite too strong. 
 Or if by chance I deviate, 
 I hope you'll stop and meditate, 
 And not pronounce it all absurd. 
 For I was young when that occurred, 
 And if you think my story long. 
 Just try your hand to right the wrong ; 
 And if you find yourself in want, 
 I'll never jeer you with a taunt. 
 But pardon me for what I say, 
 I'll promise not to use foul play. 
 For it was forty years — in fact. 
 Just six times seven, to be exact. 
 Since that occurred, my humble birth, 
 And wonderingly I viewed the earth. 
 I might well name the very day. 
 But it bespeaks mo not to say, 
 8 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 For such occurrences abound, 
 As I presume, the year around, 
 And have occurred both then and now. 
 For all but Adam and his frow. 
 Who first appeared, as people say. 
 In nudity, and made of clay. 
 And what they did and wbat they ate 
 Has been productive of my fate, 
 Or so the physical would teach. 
 But I such teachings would impeach, 
 Because that dear old mother Eve 
 Allowed the devil to deceive 
 And lead her appetite away. 
 As many people do to-day, 
 Is reason not to me at all 
 Why men for such a thing should fall ; 
 And what seems more absurd to tell. 
 To spend eternity in hell. 
 Nor I don't blame her, bless her heart. 
 She only did a woman's part ; 
 And we for that are not to blame. 
 The soul is perfect all the same, 
 And never can the soul be lost — 
 Too much at stake, too great the cost. 
 9 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 But that's not what I want to tell, 
 It was of my arrival — well, 
 Just like all others, I suppose, 
 I found myself in haby clothes. 
 And long enough, I'll bet a cent. 
 To make me wonder what they meant 
 In wrapping such a bard as I 
 In such long clothes to make me cry. 
 The bandages they pinned about 
 Were quite enough to wear me out. 
 Yet I to bear it was compelled. 
 No matter how much I rebelled. 
 And then they'd place me on my belly 
 And jolt me almost to a jelly. 
 And sing, "My dear, my darling boy. 
 You've come to be your mamma's joy." 
 And while my protests were in vain, 
 I'd catch my breath and cry again. 
 And I presume in such a state 
 T did my best to extricate 
 Myself from those who held me then. 
 For boys soon learn to think they're men. 
 And quickly as I opened wide 
 My eyes, they looked with queenly pride, 
 10 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAHSTS 
 
 And told me how I looked like "Pap'^ 
 And patted me with gentle tap. 
 But first they did, I'll wager three, 
 Was to inspect in haste to see 
 If 'twas a girl or boy was born, 
 To wash and cook, or till the corn. 
 But I must not place too much stress 
 Upon my babyhood and dress, 
 For I've heard said that such a thing 
 Is not the stuff that poets sing. 
 Besides I've heard my father say, 
 "Don't give the details all away, 
 Nor prove yourself a bag of tow 
 By bubbling over all you know." 
 But this I'll say, if you don't care, 
 Tliat of the number I was there, 
 And had a finger in the pie, 
 But most I did, I think, was cry. 
 I recollect — well, no, I don't, 
 I thought I'd tell, but then I won't, 
 How people looked and what they said. 
 For I was young and very red ; 
 But this I Imow — for I've been told, — 
 I soon learned how my own to hold, 
 11 
 
SKTD AND T 
 
 Or raise a racket, day and night. 
 
 And often institute a fight. 
 
 My weapon was, — well, I'll not it'll, 
 
 What everybody Ivnows so well, 
 
 But closer to my text I'll stay, 
 
 And tell the truth, let come wliai may 
 
 I soon began to sit and crawl. 
 
 And when I'd walk I'd often fall. 
 
 And so it went for many moons, 
 
 When I was seen in pantaloons. 
 
 Now what I said I'll not repeat ; 
 
 But just to make my yarn complete 
 
 I'll tell you how things did a])pear. 
 
 In every season of the year. 
 
 And if I should exaggerate. 
 
 It's chargeable unto my fate. 
 
 And errors often may occur. 
 
 As those who read may well infer, 
 
 But, understand, I don't propose 
 
 To shut my mouth nor hold my nose, 
 
 Nor leave the room while others talk. 
 
 Much less be crowded of! the walk. 
 
 12 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 CHAPTEK II 
 
 CONDITION OF THE COUNTRY AT THE TIME FOR WHICH 
 
 THIS WAS WRITTEN CORDUROY ROADS, FEVER AND 
 
 AGUE, CLEARING THE LAND, PLANTING AND CARING 
 FOR THE CROPS, ETC., ETC. 
 
 The woods with ponds were overrun, 
 That bred mosquitoes by the ton, 
 And galinippers Large as owls, 
 Or any other kind of fowls. 
 With beaks eight inches, less or more, 
 With which our tender skins to bore, 
 And fill themselves from end to end. 
 Then toAvards the ambient clouds ascend. 
 And rest on some old ancient tree. 
 Or company keep with cousin bee. 
 To drive away the pesky things. 
 And stop their buzzing and their stings. 
 Of chips and chunks we made a smoke. 
 To sit around and talk and joke ; 
 And tell our hopes of future 3^ears, 
 As from our eyes we'd wipe the tears. 
 13 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 And while the .smoke was hard to bear, 
 Mosquitoes seldom bit us there. 
 And many times I now recall, 
 In early spring, and late in fall. 
 When round the dear old smoke we sat. 
 And talked by turns of this and that. 
 Till little ones would fall asleep. 
 Then in their trundle beds they'd creep, 
 And sleep the sleep of sweet repose 
 Without one thought of future woes. 
 Or what for them might be in store, 
 Which makes me sympathize the more, 
 In every effort they may make, 
 Or steps their little feet may take. 
 In fitting them for duties when 
 They take the place of older men. 
 I think how little one can see 
 Of what they may or may not be. 
 And how their time on earth they'll spend, 
 And how, in short, it all may end. 
 I here will say, to thread my case. 
 Though some may judge it out of place. 
 That man, when made, he perfection was. 
 And not controlled by mortal laws, 
 14 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 Hence all the woes on earth we find 
 Are chargeable to mortal mind; 
 And so we'll ever treat it still, 
 The God that made us rules at will. 
 But that's not all, nor half, as yet, 
 That I might tell, don't you forget. 
 We had a neighbor on the hill. 
 Who often came, as neighbors will. 
 To hear the gossip, and to tell 
 What he had se'en and heard as well. 
 The health of all was topic one ; 
 The conversation thus begun, 
 And midnight oil they'd often burn. 
 In telling stories turn by turn. 
 Our neighbor's name was William Moore, 
 And he had boys some three or four. 
 Who came along sometimes, at least. 
 To hear the yams, and share the feast. 
 They had a sister, too, most dear. 
 Who did most strangely disappear, 
 Of whom I'll tell you later on. 
 And where she has so strangely gone. 
 But now just what, or where she went, 
 Is quite the least of my intent. 
 15 
 
SKID AXB I 
 
 And of the boys I'll tell you more, 
 Of one, at least, but not all four. 
 But now suffice if I should tell 
 You what occurred and what befell. 
 And what we did, and where we went, 
 And how the people's time was spent. 
 The roads were built of corduroy, 
 (A thing I never could enjoy) 
 For riding on them in a trot. 
 Would shake one up, I tell you what. 
 And then the wagons, clumsy things, 
 There wasn't one that carried springs. 
 The people seldom rode then, but 
 They always took the nearest cut. 
 And always took the dog and gun 
 To kill some game and have some fun. 
 They blazed a pathway through the wood. 
 O'er hills and hollows best they could, — 
 A public highway it became 
 In many cases, Just the same. 
 First to the sugar camp it went. 
 Where many days and nights were spent 
 In boiling down the sap so sweet. 
 While lad and lass to court would meet. 
 16 
 
THE DEVIL IX CHAINS 
 
 The fences were full ten rails high, 
 As if they meant to reach the sky. 
 And stakes and riders, too, beside, 
 Were many farmers^ greatest pride. 
 And open ditches here and there. 
 One then could see most everywhere, 
 In almost every field was seen, 
 A stagnant pond with water green. 
 Where varmints lived and frogs were found. 
 Which filled the air for miles around 
 With crude malaria, in a form 
 That swept the people as by storm. 
 It swept more people to their graves 
 Than ever did the Indian braves. 
 Alike from busy mill and field. 
 To this foul plague were forced to yield, 
 Nor did it call in question age, 
 Nor parley with the fool or sage. 
 But all men did, as all men must, 
 Unto the earth return to dust. 
 In every field the ragweeds grew. 
 And cocklel)urr and thistle, too. 
 And foxtail grass and jimson weed, 
 Deposited their tiny seed. 
 17 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 When rose the sun we all rose too. 
 And long before, our work to do. 
 And while arising in the east. 
 We didn^t mind it, man nor beast. 
 And when the morning meal was o'er. 
 And each had done his morning chore, 
 Then to the field we, every one. 
 Would start off with the morning sun. 
 And when the maid the horn won hi blow, 
 We all would start off in a row, 
 Along the tow-path, or, perchance, 
 A well-beat track along the fence. 
 And when at table at our place. 
 Then father gravely offered grace. 
 I think I told you once before. 
 But I shall it repeat once more. 
 We're governed now by different laws. 
 The reason why is plain, because 
 Such things as reapers were unknown. 
 And grass for hay by hand was mown. 
 And truly then it might be said. 
 By sweat of face men eat their bread. 
 For such a thing as riding plow 
 Was not then known as they arc now. 
 18 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAINS 
 
 And spring-toothed rakes, and check rower, 
 Were little known as were the mower, 
 And barewood floors were mostly seen, 
 And frequent scrubbing kept them clean. 
 The women often in the field 
 Would help produce the yearly yield 
 Of roots and grains of every kind. 
 And didn^t seem the work to mind. 
 We'd often see them pitching hay. 
 And then in mowing it away. 
 In planting corn, I said before. 
 And then in gleaning even more. 
 And when the pumpkins, ripe and round. 
 Were everywhere in plenty found. 
 They'd gather up the choicest one. 
 And seemed to want no better fun. 
 The boggy marsh with plants and rush. 
 The stony cliffs with trees and brush, 
 The valley stretching far below 
 Where chirped the blackbird and the crow. 
 Woodpeckers, too, were often found. 
 Among the ancient trees around. 
 They'd peck the bark and sip the sap. 
 And then begin their rat, tat, tap. 
 19 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 And often from the old tree's core, 
 Where squirrels laid up their winter's store, 
 You'd see them peeping shyly out. 
 Then bolder grow and leap about. 
 From branch to branch, from limb to limb, 
 With now and then an interim, 
 In which they said, or seemed to say, 
 "Let me alone, and go your way." 
 And then the chipmunk, too, were found 
 Near where they burrowed in the ground. 
 With pride unbounded they would strut. 
 Then cock their tails and crack their nut. 
 And when it pleased them sing an air, 
 A sort of chipmunk debonair. 
 And frequently huge snakes were seen. 
 With darting tongue and eyes of green. 
 And how they did it, I can't tell. 
 O'er, birds sometimes they threw a spell. 
 And larger game sometimes they'd foil. 
 And hold them in their slimy coil. 
 The timid bullfrog feared him most. 
 And when he found one drawing close, 
 A race began that would, I guess. 
 Have beaten Dexter or Maud S. 
 20 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 And when his f rogship won the race, 
 He'd hie into some hiding place. 
 But when he overtaken was, 
 In dying terms he'd plead his cause. 
 Enough to melt the hardest heart, 
 And people always took his part. 
 But when released, ^twas quite too late. 
 The poisoned fangs had sealed his fate. 
 And then to seal it all as one 
 When clear the sky and bright the sun, 
 Each single note would quick rebound. 
 And echo would return the sound. 
 The climbing vines that upward grow. 
 The flowering plants outspread below, 
 The hum of bees, the song of birds. 
 And browsing cattle seen in herds. 
 Both in the valley and the plain. 
 Upon the hilltop and the main. 
 The neigh of horses, too, you'd hear. 
 Resounding through the atmosphere. 
 You'd see them running last to first. 
 Unto the brook to quench their thirst. 
 And all to church a-horseback went; 
 And many moonlight nights they spent 
 21 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 In grubbing round their cabin door. 
 To clear the land of brush before 
 They dared to undertake to raise 
 A crop of wheat or Indian maize. 
 And in the spring, for miles around. 
 All hands were bus}^ clearing ground. 
 It was a custom 'mong the men, 
 To make log-rollings now and then. 
 And strange to say that some men like 
 To show their strength when at the spike, 
 For in that way they won renown, 
 Their lifting-mate by breaking down. 
 And when assembled in the shade. 
 Such banters then were often made. 
 Like this — one to the other said: 
 ^If black were brown, and brown were red. 
 And if you think a man you be. 
 And care to measure strength witli me, 
 Then on my shoulder there's a chip ; 
 You knock it off or hold your lip." 
 And Hwas no sooner said than done, 
 A wrestling match was thus begun. 
 Thus day by day tlie song was sung, 
 By people old as well as young. 
 22 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAINS 
 
 But of all things we dreaded most, 
 From nightmare to a midnight ghost, 
 From early spring till late in fall, 
 Prepared his mantle for its all. 
 And known to all and every neighhor 
 As the darned old "shaken ager." 
 We'd chill awhile then go to bed. 
 And then we'd shake from foot to head. 
 Until the bed would fairly screak. 
 Enough to make one swear a streak. 
 And then the Devil seemed to step 
 Into the case and try his rep. 
 And act as counsel, judge and jury. 
 And then would come another fury, 
 From a temperature of freezing. 
 Quite enough to set one sneezing; 
 And next with fever we were burning. 
 Until all earth seemed round us turning. 
 And worst of all, pray let me say. 
 That it returned the second day. 
 And then the program would repeat 
 In spite of all we drank or eat. 
 On every mantel there was found 
 A quinine bottle large and round, 
 23 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 And they were full from keel to stem^ 
 Though everybody dreaded them. 
 But then it was the surest way 
 To hold the dread disease at bay, 
 And as a choice we'd rather take it. 
 Than every other day to shake it. 
 And by the quinine bottle sat 
 A bitters bottle tall and flat, 
 And that was not so bad to take 
 From Uncle John to little Jake. 
 We took the quinine for the chill, 
 Then cock one eye and drink at will. 
 Thus double-dosed from foot to cone 
 We felt it plain in every bone, 
 The very marrow seemed to crawl 
 As thouo^h our blood were turned to gall. 
 
 24 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAIKS 
 
 CHAPTER III 
 
 THE MANNER OF PREPARING THE CLOTHING, CLIPPING 
 THE FLEECE, WASHING, COLORING, WEAVING, ETC. 
 
 THE LOG CABIN, THE PATIENT MOTHER BOY'S 
 
 DUTIES, WITH A CHANGE OF PROGRAM, ETC. — GO- 
 ING TO school: the playground, the TEACHER, 
 
 THE BASKET BENCH, ETC. THE PUPILS AND THEIR 
 
 COURSE THROUGH LIFE OUR OPINIONS OF PHYSI- 
 OLOGY, GRAMMAR, ETC. EACH MUST BE HIS OWN 
 
 ARCHITECT THE VANITY OF BOYS AND GIRLS. 
 
 And though I told you once before, 
 ITl here repeat and tell it o'er. 
 For homespun clothing then was worn. 
 As from sheep the fleece was shorn. 
 And when the chipping had been done. 
 Another course was then begun. 
 To wash it clean was first the aim; 
 To pick it then the neighbors came, 
 And then into the coloring vat, 
 To make the color this or that. 
 ^5 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 It then approached the spinning wheel, 
 And then it went unto the reel. 
 There doubled two and often three, 
 And twisted tight as tight could be. 
 Then to the weaver next it went, 
 There beat and banged as if they meant 
 To wreak revenge in anger wrought 
 For being there so meekly brought. 
 The cloth was now, you see, complete, 
 And when made up looked rather neat. 
 By tailors Sunday suits were cut, 
 Of black, or brown, or butternut. 
 But working suits by women then 
 Were cut and made for boys and men. 
 An overcoat was not then worn, 
 A dude or dandy to adorn. 
 Though dusters were, I recollect. 
 Which made men look most circumspect. 
 Our house was very plain, I tfiink ; 
 'Twas built of logs and tight the chink. 
 A single room was mostly found, 
 And on the walls were hung around 
 The wearing clothes and Sunday dress 
 Of kitchen maid and all the rest. 
 26 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAmS 
 
 And overhead there was a loft 
 Where every one their clothes laid off, 
 And stored away to safely keep, 
 And where the larger boys would sleep. 
 A clapboard roof and batten door, 
 And rough oak boards composed the floor. 
 A lamp well filled with lard or fat, 
 And here and there, a coat or hat, 
 A pair of boots, perchance, a shoe. 
 Till mother knew not what to do. 
 Poor patient thing as mothers are, 
 Of all mankind the best by far. 
 Would tell us in her kindly way 
 To go outdoors and there to play. 
 And that we often did, it's true. 
 And then the moments with us flew. 
 But when 'twas dismal, damp or wet. 
 Then children-like, we'd growl and fret. 
 For children 'were so made, they say. 
 To growl and fret, when not at play. 
 With fleeting years, the program changed ; 
 Our duties then took greater range. 
 We had to lay aside our sport 
 And help the family hold the fort. 
 27 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 We errands often had to run, 
 As boys have done since time begun, 
 The horses now to water lead. 
 The cows to milk and then to feed. 
 And as for milking, I'll admit 
 We didn't like a little bit. 
 And other things we had to do, 
 That worried us a little, too, 
 But none so bad, as you'd allow, 
 As did the milking of the cow. 
 The eggs to hunt, the ducks to pen. 
 The wood to cut and help the men. 
 And later on it was a part 
 Our duties all the fires to start. 
 In short to be a roustabout. 
 Both in the house as well as out. 
 But that I scarcely need to tell, 
 For everybody knows so well 
 That little boys were made that way. 
 To spend their time at work or play. 
 We went to school in winter time. 
 And learned to read in prose and rhyme. 
 The school-house, too, was built of logs, 
 And torn the yard was by the hogs. 
 28 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 For seldom was there any fence, 
 For that would be too much expense. 
 The teacher often, in the main, 
 Of what he knew was very vain, 
 And without mercy used the birch 
 As on his lofty seat he'd perch. 
 The school-house then was very small, 
 With writing desks along the wall. 
 And backless benches all arow. 
 For better things we didn't know. 
 A stove and drum, three feet or more, 
 Stood in the middle of the floor. 
 At last we got a rough blackboard ; 
 Though rough, the best we could afford. 
 And this was often said about it, 
 I think we'd better do without it, 
 For such a way as that of ^learnen,' 
 Will help them not a bit in ^earnen' 
 A single thing to eat or wear; 
 And more than that we needn't care. 
 And some who sought to lead the rest 
 Would thus declare : "It seems me best 
 To keep such trifles out of school. 
 Lest every child become a fool. 
 29 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 Besides, wlien you and I were boys, 
 Our parents never made a noise 
 About such trifling things at all, 
 Of painting blackboards on the wall. 
 Dad drast the thing, I tell you, sir, 
 It's carrying this thing quite too ^fur,' 
 And if you're bound to make that rule, 
 I'll take my children out of school." 
 One corner fixed to hold the wraps. 
 For large as well as little chaps. 
 Thus told, the house was quite complete ; 
 In fact we thought it rather neat. 
 The playground was of much concern. 
 Where every one would take his turn. 
 In batting and in catching, too. 
 Just as professionals now do. 
 And bullpen, too, was quite a play. 
 First dodging this and then that way. 
 We ciphered to the rule of three. 
 And some pursued geography. 
 And as for grammar, that we knew 
 To be a hoax and silly, too. 
 And parsing we could never see, 
 How that a benefit could be, 
 30 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAIN'S 
 
 And analyzing was still worse, 
 And didn't stop sometimes to curse 
 If any one presumed to say 
 We'd change our minds some future day. 
 And when they introduced hygiene, 
 We then gave vent to all our spleen. 
 The gross absurdity was plain, 
 And firmly pictured on our brain 
 Of naming all the parts of man, 
 The ulna, radius, and knee-pan. 
 Or, the patella, so they said. 
 And every nerve from foot to head. 
 The blood was traced in every part. 
 From tips of fingers to the heart. 
 Saliva, bile, and the pancrea. 
 The very thoughts of such idea 
 Was too absurd to think about. 
 So at first we ruled it out. 
 But this is true, I must admit, 
 And as a fact, I'll speak of it. 
 It makes me blush to tell it though. 
 But that don't matter, now, you know. 
 It's this : our language not the best. 
 But as I'm not inclined to jest, 
 31 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 I'll only say it was our "nater" 
 To call potatoes plainly "tater." 
 And when the cold would make us shiver, 
 With emphasis we'd call for "kiver." 
 But to the school I'll now return, 
 And tell you more of that concern. 
 By gruesome force, the teacher shone. 
 But what we learned was all our own, 
 And this is sure for all concerned; 
 'Twas by absorption most we learned. 
 Then such a word as graduate 
 Was quite unknown to our estate. 
 But in some way we lived as well 
 As now we do, I'm bound to tell. 
 And better, too, in point of health. 
 In happiness and gaining wealth. 
 But for the present let it pass. 
 Lest I should prove myself an ass. 
 And for my pains receive the scorn 
 Of all those of the manor born. 
 And still I love in many ways 
 To live again those good old days. 
 And often with my pen in hand, 
 I wander back to baby land. 
 32 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAINS 
 
 But this is twice I broke my rule, 
 
 And twice will I return to school. 
 
 To man's estate we all have grown, 
 
 And some were dull, and some have shone ; 
 
 Some filled the presidential chair, 
 
 But very few have landed there. 
 
 And fewer still are known to fame, 
 
 As being worthy of the name. 
 
 Some made their stake in early age. 
 
 And some were pleased to work for wage ; 
 
 And some were destined free of strife. 
 
 To live at home a pleasant life. 
 
 And others still, poor things like me. 
 
 Could nothing much but trouble see. 
 
 Some born to mourn their stubborn fate. 
 
 Some to destroy, some to create ; 
 
 Some to consume, and some produce, 
 
 And some invent for others' use. 
 
 Some born to live on beds of ease ; 
 
 Some by their eloquence to please. 
 
 Some tell it all with ready tongue ; 
 
 Some write in measure to be sung. 
 
 A very few by instinct know it, 
 
 And fewer still are born a poet. 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 But take it all from first to end, 
 The God of Heaven is our friend. 
 Doctors some, and lawyers some became, 
 Some fagged and some are known to fame. 
 Some raised to honor and to rank, 
 And others down to ruin sank. 
 Important offices some fill. 
 And some are pleased the soil to till, 
 And launch their vessels in the soil. 
 And with the laboring masses toil. 
 And others still, more than a few 
 Are quite too lazy, work to do. 
 And all through life this class prefers, 
 To men of worth the idlers. 
 And as a rule they're always found, 
 A low, degraded vagabond. 
 And others seemed on knowledge bent. 
 And instinct taught them as they went. 
 But Nature knows a thrifty plant 
 That don't become a mendicant. 
 And this is true, I will admit. 
 And well does Nature make it fit. 
 That all depended on themselves, 
 Who landed on the upper shelves ; 
 34 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAINS 
 
 Because it's not mere luck^ but nerve, 
 That gives to men what they deserve, 
 And nothing looks more plain to me 
 Than each his architect must be, 
 And climb the rugged rocks of fame, 
 And with his own hand write his name. 
 That men, unborn, in future days 
 May read your name and sing your praise. 
 But worry not for right nor wrong. 
 They'll place you where you best belong ; 
 Each one advance, majestic mien. 
 With future pleasures to be seen. 
 Each manly effort in its shrine. 
 With future efforts to combine. 
 And pave the way to great success. 
 And some to failures. Til confess. 
 And as I've been, so others may. 
 In years gone by and still to-day. 
 Be kicked, and cuffed, and soundly cursed, 
 While some, by some fond fool are nursed ; 
 And for the brains they don't possess, 
 An imbecile will them caress. 
 But like the snowflake in the river, 
 A moment white, then fade forever. 
 35 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 But some who proved to be a fraud, 
 By parents fond were eatterwawed. 
 But I'm not lecturing in the field. 
 And so the point I'd better yield, 
 At any rate I think it best, 
 As lawyers say, the ease to rest. 
 Now we have grown to almost men ; 
 At least we've passed the years of ten, 
 And that to boys is always known, 
 As standing double, not alone. 
 And that to boys is such a deal. 
 For so imj^ortant now they feel. 
 But how they feel I needn't tell. 
 Because it strikes the girls as well. 
 At first long dresses when they wear. 
 They pufi^, and primp, and curl their hair. 
 And place great stress on furbelows. 
 And then they'll talk about their beaux. 
 And if you laugh, poor things they'll hush, 
 Then look aside, then down, then blush. 
 And when to womanhood they've grown 
 And age begins to claim its own, 
 As if they would the fates defy, 
 Their very age they will deny. 
 36 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 And when too late to make amends. 
 
 We find them made of odds and ends. 
 
 Their teeth are false, likewise their hair, 
 
 And every part receives a share. 
 
 Their bosoms soft, and plump, and round. 
 
 You'll find of cotton to abound. 
 
 And worst of all, or near about, 
 
 Is this, — their feet have got the gout. 
 
 And when they must admit the same, 
 
 Then they declare that man's to blame. 
 
 And nothing caring for the scene, 
 
 On man's poor head she'll vent her spleen, 
 
 No matter how much he protests. 
 
 She's in her realm, at her best. 
 
 And nothing pleases her so well. 
 
 As this her story long to tell. 
 
 And full five hundred times a year, 
 
 Shell tell it o'er, or very near. 
 
 37 
 
SKTi) AND I 
 
 CHAPTER IV 
 
 STROLLING ALONG THE CREEK ROBBING BIRDS' NESTS, 
 
 I RECEIVED A HARD FALL FROM THE TREE THE 
 
 FRIEND OF MY BOYHOOD^ SKID AN APPARITION 
 
 APPEARS AT WHICH WE ARE AT FIRST VERY 
 MUCH FRIGHTENED BUT SOON BECOME RECON- 
 CILED, AND CONCLUDED TO INVESTIGATE ITS MEAN- 
 ING, AS BOYS ARE APT TO DO IN LIFE WHEN FIRST 
 ENTERING THE WICKED PLACES OF THE WORLD. 
 
 And often in the realms of shade, 
 Full many boyish pranks we laid. 
 For boys, as now, presumed to know 
 Just where and how boys ought to go. 
 And how their time they should employ, 
 No matter whom they might annoy. 
 This rule I made, observed it, too. 
 To be familiar with but few. 
 And though peculiar in my way, 
 I chose my company for play. 
 And while I censured often was, 
 I thought it served a splendid cause. 
 38 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 I now was fourteen in the fall, 
 Of slender form but rather tall;, 
 And awkward, for I grew so fast 
 Till I became a man at last. 
 We loved to stroll along the creek 
 And perpetrate some boyish trick. 
 And when it pleased our fancy best. 
 We'd climb the trees and rob birds' nests. 
 In climbing once, I now recall, 
 I through the branches took a fall. 
 I venturesome, boylike, became. 
 And risked my life to reach the game. 
 And, as one might suppose, the nest 
 Was farther out than I had guessed. 
 But I to reach it was full bent. 
 And every energy I lent, 
 With equipoise I did my best 
 To reach the limb where hung the nest. 
 I twenty feet was high or more. 
 And when I rose my back was sore. 
 My heart had almost ceased to act. 
 And all my system was, in fact. 
 Much out of kelter, in some way. 
 As there upon the ground I lay. 
 39 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 A branch unfriendly first I struck, 
 Whicli doubled me, perhaps, for luck. 
 But how the fleeting time was spent, 
 Is hard to tell, so fast I went. 
 I then and there made up my mind 
 That in the future I would find 
 A sport more pleasant to invest 
 My time, than robbing poor birds' nests. 
 And lots of time we spent, it's true. 
 Along the creek in bathing, too. 
 Sometimes, quite early in the spring 
 We'd bathe while chilling winds would sing, 
 Until our lips like indigo. 
 As blue would turn them out, you know. 
 And Sunday mornings often found 
 The neighbor boys for miles around 
 Assembled on the verdant banks 
 Of Old Wild Cat to play their pranks. 
 In boyish glee, as pleased them best. 
 With feet abare and Sunday vest. 
 And hat home-made of last year's straw, 
 And shirts of linen, new, but raw. 
 And as for necktie or cravat, 
 We didn't wear a thing like that. 
 40 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 But if my readers will excuse, 
 1^11 not tell why we wore no shoes, 
 Because this maxim I have learned, 
 That it is best for all concerned 
 To fall a little short the mark 
 Than overload a doubtful bark. 
 My bosom friend, IVe said before, 
 Whose father's name was William Moore, 
 Was almost always near at hand, 
 To serve each other at command. 
 And now I'll do as then I did, 
 Abbreviate and call him Skid. 
 And here as if by one of old, 
 A story that I've never told, 
 I'll tell it now, as best I can, 
 Though years ago since it began. 
 And though so long ago it's been. 
 It's written still as plain as sin, 
 And comes revolving to my mind, 
 The every act of every kind. 
 Although details in every part, 
 I'll not attempt here in the start. 
 At least, not in minutiae fine. 
 For I am mortal, not divine. 
 41 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 In short it's this, in my own way, 
 That Skid and I, one summer's day, 
 Were loitering slowly down Wild Cat 
 Without much thought of this or that, 
 Or what we did or what befell, 
 Or what the other meant to tell. 
 We saw the clever chipmunk race 
 From rail to rail, from place to place. 
 First up, then down, then flit around. 
 Then disappear into the ground. 
 At other times we'd chase a bird. 
 And then we'd talk of what we heard. 
 And what we both would like to be, 
 For I was vain and so was he. 
 But this I should have said before. 
 That Skid's full name was Will Skid Moore. 
 But why they gave him such a name 
 Is immaterial just the same. 
 But we were friends as all well knew, 
 And where Skid was, there I was too. 
 And interwoven were our lives. 
 As some men are unto their wives. 
 And those who read I think will see 
 How truly wedded we could be, 
 42 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 Until the fates had so decreed 
 To let the devil intercede. 
 Hard thoughts we then began to use, 
 And each in turn his friend abuse. 
 But to my text I must return 
 And all reveal of this concern. 
 Then walking leisurely, I said. 
 Along the placid Wild Cat bed. 
 Where often we before had walked 
 And in our boyish way had talked. 
 And built our plots and sketched our plans. 
 Of what we'd do when once a man. 
 But here in justice I must say 
 It was a pleasant Easter day. 
 And early quite that year it came, 
 And Skid's birthday was on the same. 
 He nineteen years old was that day, 
 And I two younger, by the way. 
 And while he older was but small, 
 I stood beside him very tall. 
 Save birds, alone, all else was still 
 Except some trickling near a hill 
 Where ran a winding deep ravine 
 With water clear as could be seen. 
 43 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 Where presently a form appeared. 
 Of doubtful mien and ghastly geared; 
 And high suspended danced around 
 Full twenty feet above the ground. 
 At first he feigned us not to see, 
 But stood conversing with a tree. 
 To emphasize his every word 
 He cried aloud, "King George the Third,'^ 
 Which through our hearts sent darts of pain, 
 Till we our conscience could regain. 
 The place o'er which this monster stood 
 Surrounded was by heavy wood, 
 And all save the ravine alone, 
 Was free from smaller kinds of stone. 
 This little stream a mystery was, 
 A mystery first to last, because 
 Its banks would never overflow. 
 Nor yet it dry would never go. 
 But ran the same the year around. 
 Its water clear was always found, 
 But when a freshet large there came. 
 It seemed to flow about the same. 
 Its source was in a thicket dense, 
 A boggy marsh but not immense. 
 44 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 By liigh rough rocks this marsh was walled 
 The horseshoe bend it then was called, 
 And quite well named, for on one side 
 And only one it opened wide. 
 Perhaps an acre it contained, 
 And access there was dearly gained, 
 For serpents round its borders creep 
 And night-owls seem to play bo-peep 
 And render things most hideous there. 
 Enough to stand on end each hair. 
 And stagnate all the blood within 
 To hear their dull and doleful din ; 
 And there appeared, as might be said, 
 An apparition from the dead. 
 And though but seven past and ten. 
 It would have tried the hearts of men. 
 In stature he was eight feet high. 
 With brawny arms and flaming eye ; 
 A deep base voice, like thunder roll 
 Which seemed to sound from pole to pole. 
 At first we thought it but a joke 
 And casually about it spoke; 
 But as it near and nearer came. 
 We scarcely knew each other's name. 
 45 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 And there we stood 'twixt life and death, 
 We viewed the scene with anxious breath ; 
 And all our blood seemed to congeal 
 For such was plainly now our zeal. 
 The very hilltops seemed to raise ; 
 The northern heavens all ablaze ; 
 Flash followed flash in anger sent 
 As in its wake the other went. 
 Clear was the sun, bright was the sky. 
 Yet, all seemed threatening Skid and I. 
 Till things took much a darker hue. 
 Each moment dark, yet darker grew. 
 Until our minds became a blank. 
 Pulsation ceased, and down we sank. 
 But in that state we lay not long 
 For Vice, not Virtue, leads the throng, 
 And planted discord in our soul ; 
 Thus passion rules from pole to pole. 
 The devil seems to take a hand 
 And reaps the fat from off the land ; 
 And while men listen to his chime. 
 He counts them millions at a time. 
 On rising up, Skid said : "Why Paul V 
 (But that was not my name at all. 
 46 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 Yet Skid, in that would have his way 
 And called me Paul at work or play.) 
 
 "I^d like to know if you can tell 
 If Satan has escaped from Hell ? 
 Or what you think of such a sight 
 As here we've seen in broad daylight ? 
 There's no mistaking what we've seen. 
 For there it was in that ravine. 
 Where we have passed a thousand times. 
 I'm sure we're guilty of no crimes. 
 And never did a wrong so great 
 As here to merit such a fate. 
 Just see his grand, stupendous size. 
 Suspended there 'twixt earth and skies ; 
 And then recall him in the main, — 
 No wonder it befogs our brain." 
 
 "Well, Skid, it puzzles me, it's true, 
 And I don't know just what to do. 
 But let us reason best we can. 
 As it would best become a man. 
 For truly as revolves the sun, 
 I don't propose from it to run ; 
 Nor coward be to slink away, 
 Do what it will, be what it may ; 
 47 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 And yet I don't presume to know 
 Just what to do_, nor where to go, 
 But what is best, it seems to me, 
 Is to investigate and see 
 From whence it came and where it went. 
 And if we can we'll be content. 
 Great fortunes seldom come unsought. 
 And knowledge may be dearly bought. 
 Yet knowledge, by experience learned. 
 Is much the best for all concerned. 
 And while it's not an easy task 
 We^ll favors from it never ask. 
 It's not a pleasant task, of course, 
 But we'll not do it all by force. 
 And well do you remember. Skid, 
 If you observed it as I did, 
 That it bespoke a friendly charm. 
 And not disposed to do us harm. 
 And neither could he, if he would, 
 If we remember as we should 
 That mind is all and naught beside ; 
 Mind rules the planets and the tide, 
 And though ten billion miles away, 
 'Tis all the same mind rules the day, 
 48 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAINS 
 
 And always has, as I perceive. 
 If we the Scripture do believe. 
 Besides a spirit never can, 
 And never did do wrong to man. 
 For while the soul a substance is. 
 Material is none of his ; 
 For matter is not, can't be real ; 
 Therefore not God's but man's ideal. 
 And all beyond must be the same 
 Though Hell or Heaven be the name. 
 Location, then, as I perceive. 
 By some are taught but to deceive ; 
 For if in harmony we dwell. 
 Then for us there can be no Hell, 
 For Hell means discord, nothing more, 
 No matter where, nor on what shore ; 
 And when in perfect peace we live, 
 ISTo sweeter morsel could one give. 
 But like the earth revolving round. 
 In empty space they both are found. 
 The spirits lived in the abstract. 
 And nothing more than mind, in fact, 
 And" — "Look there, Paul, he comes again, 
 But looking much more like a man." 
 49 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 Skid first proposed that we sliould run 
 As many people would have done, 
 But, fate, it sccnis, had so decreed 
 That we should further still proceed. 
 As turns the needle to the pole 
 Will every cause upon the whole 
 With aim unerring and direct 
 Produce as true its own effect; 
 And while the lamp holds out to burn, 
 As sure from sense to soul we turn. 
 In all his grandeur still he stood. 
 Which seemed to us to bode no good ; 
 And as he stood he cast an eye 
 By turn at us, and then the sky. 
 At intervals he looked most sad. 
 And every time in turn looked glad ; 
 And playfully a curl he flung 
 Which on his massive shoulders hung ; 
 It hung half way ^twixt hips and knee. 
 And coarse, though black as it could be. 
 The wind appeared to through it blow, 
 And deathlike silence seemed to grow, 
 And every leaf to move refused. 
 And drooping hung as if abused, 
 50 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAINS 
 
 And little fishes moved about 
 As if the}^ were inclined to pout ; 
 And for a time it's just to say, 
 Our reason almost lost its sway. 
 Void of reason, devoid of thought, 
 A vacuum of what we sought ; 
 The whole world turned a crimson red, 
 And all mankind became as dead ; 
 Indeed, so awful was the sight. 
 That every hair turned snowy white ; 
 And yet, with all as young we were. 
 We death to cowardice prefer. 
 And while we felt our grave was dug, 
 We joined in one fraternal hug; 
 With lip to lip, and heart to heart. 
 We pledged our word we'd never part; 
 We'd die together when die we must, 
 And both as one return to dust. 
 0, cruel monster, just behold. 
 Our hair stood straight, our blood run cold ; 
 And for a time we didn't know 
 Just what to do nor where to go. 
 And there we both like statues stood. 
 But couldn't move, do what we would. 
 51 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 But presently the sjoell was broken, 
 As if it were, there came a token ; 
 But what it was, I'll not explain, 
 For such a task would be in vain. 
 Much stronger now we seemed to grow, 
 And watched him moving to and fro. 
 His brawny hands he tightly clenched, 
 And from the one the other wrenched 
 A magic key and large of size ; 
 Then at us stared with glaring eyes. 
 The key nine cubits full was long, 
 Of brass was made and very strong. 
 His teeth, though large, were white as pearl. 
 Long was his hair, inclined to curl ; 
 And hanging loosely on his back 
 '^Twas plain to see it once was black. 
 He waved in air his mighty hand 
 And shook about his neck a strand 
 Of beads, that fairly shone like fire, 
 And brighter grew on drawing nigher. 
 A weirdlike laugh in awe we heard, 
 But spoke he to us not a word. 
 But *rather looked an absent blank ; 
 At first he rofc'e and then he sank • 
 52 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 First to the left, then to the right; 
 First bright as clay, then dark as night; 
 First seemed to please, and then insult ; 
 Sometimes a child, then an adult. 
 At times he feigned to be our friend. 
 Then suddenly it all would end. 
 Which left our young and untrained mind 
 In a dilemma, and to find 
 Where to he went, and whence he came 
 Were now our object and our aim ; 
 And so persistent were we, too. 
 That time on pinions with us flew ; 
 And like the youth when first they swear, 
 How they assume a manly air; 
 And then before another moon. 
 We see them enter the saloon 
 And timidly approach the bar. 
 Call first for drinks and then cigar. 
 And wipe their mustache — yet to be. 
 They've started down, and so had we ; 
 We'd made the all eventful start. 
 And so we followed, hand and heart. 
 We'd gone too far to make amends ; 
 And so good-bye to home and friends. 
 53 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 CHAPTER V 
 
 THE APPARITION IS ENSHBOUDED IN A CLOUD AND 
 
 SLOAVLY VANISHES OUT OF SIGHT AFTER A FEW 
 
 moments' REFLECTION WE CONCLUDED TO CON- 
 TINUE OUR COURSE WE COMMENCE TO WEND OUR 
 
 WAY ALONG THE RAVINE, WHERE WE ENCOUNTERED 
 MANY OF THE HARDSHIPS OF LIFE^ AS TYPICAL OF 
 
 MORTAL MIND SKID REFUSES TO LEAD THE WAY^ 
 
 AND I BECAME THE LEADER THE KEY APPEARS 
 
 AND LEADS US TO MAKE THE FATAL STEP ; WE TURN 
 OUR BACKS UPON THE WORLD AND ENTER THE DARK 
 
 WAYS AND LURID PATHS OF THE WICKED WE ARE 
 
 AGAIN FRIGHTENED INTO INSENSIBILITY^ BUT 
 SHORTLY REGAINED OUR COMPOSURE AND PRESSED 
 
 ON IN THE WAYS OF DARKNESS WE KNEEL DOWN 
 
 AND CRAWL INTO THE CAVE^ THE IMAGINARY HELL, 
 WHERE WE SEE MANY STRANGE SIGHTS. 
 
 Around him now appears a cloud, 
 Which wound about him like a shroud, 
 And thus enshrouded in mid-air. 
 Of fiendish form and streaming hair, 
 54 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAINS 
 
 With face distorted, knitted brow, 
 He gravely to us made a bow 
 Then slowly vanished out of sight, 
 And left us weary with affright ; 
 But not so weary as to scare 
 And leave the hideous mystery there. 
 Our boyish nature filled with awe 
 x\t what we heard and what we saw, 
 Excitement leading as it did. 
 Skid looked at me and I at Skid. 
 Though neither spoke, we understood 
 Each other's looks, as well we should. 
 We knew the cup from which we drank. 
 And knew our future was a blank, 
 A blank of long and sad despair, 
 With thorns and thistles everywhere. 
 Now sitting down, we both rose up. 
 For fate had more than filled our cup ; 
 And then by superhuman nerve. 
 Our equilibrium preserve. 
 And there while vy^rapped in awe surprise 
 We almost felt our hearts arise. 
 But courage pressed us forth to try 
 To solve the mystic scenes or die. 
 55 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 So up the deep ravine we went. 
 Where bushes low with vines were bent, 
 And bullfrogs leap, and swim around 
 And seem to jeer at every sound. 
 The place was lonely at the best, 
 Where blackbirds chirp and build their nests. 
 And minks and muskrats love to roam. 
 And slimy serpents make their home. 
 We bathed our temples in the brook, 
 Then lying down a drink we took ; 
 Then starting off. Skid in the lead. 
 By drawing cuts we thus agreed. 
 And as he older was, we thought 
 ^Twas right and proper that he ought 
 To go ahead and lead the way 
 Just as he often did in play. 
 He didn't like it much at first, 
 But we enlisted for the worst. 
 We'd gone a furlong on the route, 
 When Skid, impatient, turned about 
 And to me said : "It seems to me 
 We're devilish hard up Just to see 
 What there appeared in open air. 
 Then disappeared and left us there. 
 56 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 I don't believe that I shall go 
 In such a place to meet a foe. 
 There's tons of serpents here that swell 
 The atmosphere with all this smell ; 
 And I don't see what we could gain, 
 If fairly we consult our brain. 
 It's but a folly of some kind, 
 A vain illusion of our mind ; 
 It's typical of mortal song, 
 The nucleus of all our wrong. 
 For God made man and made him good. 
 To dwell together as we should. 
 And not to mortal mind give way. 
 Nor for such vagaries go astray. 
 Hence, I decline to take the lead. 
 Nor further will I still proceed. 
 When Adam fell 'twas but his mind. 
 And not G-od's will that made him blind. 
 The fruit he coveted and ate 
 Was part of mine and your estate ; 
 To mortal mind he then gave way, 
 As you determined seem to-day, 
 And if you must I will consent 
 For you to lead in this event. 
 57 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 And though you lead me where you will, 
 1^11 be impelled to follow still. 
 And when your plans have been matured, 
 I'll not desert you, be assured. 
 And though we differ, as we might. 
 Yet I will follow honors bright ; 
 Then be it further understood 
 That I resolve, as brothers should. 
 To ever follow in the rout. 
 In short, to be a roustabout/' 
 '^Well, Skid, you're older some than I, 
 But I shall see the end or die ; 
 And if you'll follow on behind 
 I'll take the risk of every kind. 
 And if he comes I'll treat him then 
 As Jackson did the British men. 
 I'll wait to see his cunning eye. 
 And then his might I will defy." 
 ^Yes, you'll play thunder, I should say, 
 You'd jump and run some other way. 
 You'd cut a swath among these brush 
 As from this place you'd make a rush; 
 I fancy now I see you start 
 And cry : Tor God's sake take my part.' '^ 
 58 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAHSTS 
 
 "Well, this is not the time to jest ; 
 I tell you. Skid, 1^11 do my best." 
 
 "Well, take the lead, then, I don^t care. 
 And if you run, well, 1^11 be there ; 
 But have no fears about me, Paul, 
 1^11 be prepared to run, that's all." 
 So I the leader thus became, 
 
 ■ To win a point and make a name. 
 Our weapons were to save our life 
 A toothpick and a barlow knife, 
 An old slouch hat, a coat and vest, 
 A pair of pants to match the rest ; 
 A home-spun shirt, front, cuffs and all, 
 And good warm socks, just knit last fall ; 
 And on our feet besides we wore 
 Great stogy shoes laced up before. 
 And galluses, we called them then, 
 Our mothers knit them for the men. 
 And much too long they were for us. 
 Which might have caused some men to cuss. 
 But we, it seems, no better knew. 
 And what we preached we practiced, too ; 
 And thus prepared to face the foe, 
 We started in for weal or woe. 
 59 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 And though some fears we entertained, 
 Onr every energy was strained. 
 And peering through the tangled deep. 
 We on our knees to through it creep. 
 We first surveyed a sort of path, 
 With feelings much akin to wrath. 
 The sun was now at full mid-day. 
 When all of Nature rests, they say, 
 And so it was most deathly still. 
 As slowly we approached the hill. 
 On drawing near the dreaded place. 
 Where first we saw the mystic face. 
 We saw again the bunch of keys 
 Make graceful leaps as if to please 
 The gods of some far distant shore. 
 Where rule the gods forevermore. 
 Then pass beneath the hill below; 
 But where, there's none of earth that know 
 Just what the motive power behind. 
 Was now in order next to find. 
 Most awful was the silence now, 
 And sweat profusely bathed our brow; 
 To tell you what a shock it gave 
 You'd judge me more a fool than knave. 
 60 
 
THF. DEVIL IX C'PIAINS 
 
 And while we doubled what we heard, 
 
 I'll not exaggerate a word, 
 
 Xor magnify a thing I sa}', 
 
 Nor will I add or take away. 
 
 And while my story may be long, 
 
 I'll boil it down to make it strong, 
 
 Because my honor is at stake. 
 
 And I a name would like to make. 
 
 It more became mysterious 
 
 As well, indeed, as serious. 
 
 And most of men would be undone 
 
 To see the sights since it begun. 
 
 We moved along, though ill at ease. 
 With little noise except a sneeze, 
 W^hich came upon me as they do 
 Just when one doesn't want them to, 
 And still kept up its tickling course 
 Till I, to sneeze three times was forced. 
 And when through sneezing, as you'd guess. 
 We both were trembling, I'll confess ; 
 And scarcely knew how to behave, 
 Or how to stand the shock it gave. 
 But reason took the place of wit. 
 Upon the royal throne to sit ; 
 61 
 
SKTD AXD I 
 
 Thougii instinct taught us, I suppose^ 
 To still pursue our deadly foes, 
 And all our native powers eond)ine, 
 To fight the battle on this line. 
 The very heavens seemed to talk, 
 And every star toward us walk, 
 The planets in confusion roll 
 And sound their notes from pole to pole. 
 The fleeting clouds to lower come, 
 x\nd every wind a tune to hum. 
 And every tree a bough to bend 
 To serve one grand, congenial end ; 
 And every leaf our names to call, 
 And every nerve within us crawl. 
 We closer now our course pursue, 
 Where tamarack and buckeyes grew, 
 x\nd creeping through we chance to spy 
 A time-worn stone that seemed to lie 
 Across an opening in the hill. 
 Which now increased our wonder still. 
 There is a maxim T have heard, 
 And it is true in every word. 
 That those who little seem to know 
 Are sure in dangerous paths to go. 
 62 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAINS 
 
 And to this maxim I might add 
 That words of caution make them mad ; 
 And guided by this stubborn rule. 
 We now proposed to act the fool. 
 So on our hands and knees we crawl 
 Up to that high-cut, vine-clad wall, 
 Where laid the stone alluded to 
 Which led us further to pursue. 
 With easy touch we pushed them o'er 
 Which now became an open door, 
 Into the downward course of sin, 
 And we at once our course begin. 
 And all regardless of our fate 
 We stepped into another state, 
 Both mortal and immortal, too, 
 And instinct taught us what to do. 
 Thus did our downward course commence, 
 For which I now must doubt my sense. 
 And almost curse the day and date 
 That broke my peace and sealed my fate. 
 And if my readers will believe 
 I write these lines not to deceive, 
 But rather to elucidate 
 What seems to me the laws of fate. 
 63 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 Because I've suffered many times 
 More than I e'er can tell in rhymes, 
 And much more than I'd care to tell 
 Wliile passing through this mental Hell. 
 But he that matter as it will, 
 We now had safely reached the hill, 
 And there, it's true, our pluck was tried. 
 Just what to do, or how decide ; 
 And older heads might well have thought 
 Avenging death was what we sought. 
 For men with older heads than ours 
 Might well have seen that all the powers 
 Of earth and Neptune and the rest. 
 Could nothing gain by such a test. 
 But we could not quite see it thus ; 
 It promised larger game for us. 
 As Brutus was, so we became 
 Desirous to be known to fame ; 
 And while the hope inspired the thought 
 We knew 'twould be in danger wrought. 
 And here again we both resolved. 
 No matter what might be involved, 
 To pusli it to a final end. 
 Or to a grave obscure descend. 
 64 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 But ere we started both agreed 
 That I should still resume the lead, 
 And if the gods should so decree 
 We'd share each other's destiny, 
 Till Earth and Heaven should be as one, 
 As ne'er before since time begun. 
 By casting off all mortal fear 
 Our path of duty seemed more clear, 
 And every object in the way 
 Is mortal mind as clear as day. 
 But how that can, or can not be, 
 In course of time we all shall see ; 
 For God, through Jesus Christ, has shown 
 That evil thoughts are all our own. 
 Now, crouching on our bended knees. 
 We both crawled in with perfect ease ; 
 And once within, though hard to tell. 
 It seemed the very pits of Hell. 
 As if the prince, the most infernal. 
 Would crush us down to death eternal. 
 Yet while we doubted what we saw, 
 We charged it all to nature's law ; 
 And talked about the mystic chain 
 Of evidences now so plain, 
 65 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 That lie who reads can sec in turn 
 That Satan rules the whole concern. 
 But Satan here I must insist 
 Is but a myth and don't exist ; 
 He's but a fabric of the mind, 
 A base illusion of mankind. 
 Hence it is true, he's everywhere, 
 For every mortal has their share 
 Of evil thoughts where'er they go 
 In wrestling with their unseen foe. 
 As Jacob did, the Scriptures say. 
 Until the mist was cleared away. 
 And then a new light to him came. 
 And God was pleased to change his name. 
 Within the place looked deep and wide, 
 A cavern in a mountain's side. 
 And to the left a great arch door 
 Some twelve feet high, perhaps, or more. 
 Of ebony the door was built. 
 And interlaid with finest gilt; 
 The hinges brass and three arow. 
 Moved automatic to and fro. 
 The air was pure, though one might think 
 The very atmosphere would stink 
 66 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 With all the evils one would find, 
 And all the fumes of Hell combined. 
 But such was clearly not the case, 
 But rather seemed a pleasant place; 
 And one that did our fancy court 
 In good as well as bad report. 
 Yet while we lightly trod the ground 
 The very stones returned the sound, 
 And echoes seemed to come and go 
 From far above and far below ; 
 From all around except the rear. 
 The sound returned to greet our ear 
 And pierced the labyrinth with ease. 
 As if it naught could do but please; 
 Yet all was dark, and damp, and still. 
 Within the bowels of the hill. 
 Our eyes became (but that's not strange) 
 Quite well accustomed to the change, 
 And inky darkness in the hold 
 Gave way and strangest sights unfold. 
 Within the door, some twenty feet. 
 Across what seemed a well-built street. 
 We saw enclosed an octave cell. 
 And by it an artesian well 
 67 
 
SKID AXD 1 
 
 With paths well beaten all around, 
 And drinking vessels there we found.; 
 A ladle, tincup, and a gourd, 
 Each in its place hung on a hoard. 
 They seemed so ancient in their place 
 That we in handling offered grace; 
 And Avhile they were the most antique. 
 They all were free from flaw or leak. 
 Some orange peel lay on the ground. 
 And dates and figs were scattered around. 
 And then we found, I now recall, 
 Three canteens hanging on the wall. 
 Although no wall it was, because 
 It was inclosed with coarse wire gauze. 
 The gauze was full six feet or more, 
 And square exactly twenty-four; 
 And at the north a wicket gate, 
 Which led us to the room of state. 
 Or so by us the room was styled. 
 For all the floors were neatly tiled. 
 There hung a collar and a tie, 
 A coat and vest we saw near-by. 
 Upon the tie there was a pin. 
 With three large diamonds set within. 
 68 
 
THE DEVIL I^T CHAINS 
 
 The coat and vest were worn threadbare, 
 And hung there on just one gray hair. 
 And then to tell you— well, I sha'n't 
 Tell how we felt, because I can't, 
 ]\"or do I think I ought to tell 
 You all my feelings here in Hell, 
 And lest you should impatient be, 
 I next will tell you what we see. 
 And how fate seems to rule the day 
 And lead us downward on the way. 
 
 69 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 CHAPTER VI 
 
 WE ENTER THE ROOM OE STATE, WHERE WE FIND A 
 GREAT MANY DEAD PEOPLE THE ROOMS, FOUR- 
 TEEN IN ALL^ WERE FINISHED IN SPLENDOR AND OF 
 
 IMMENSE SIZE THE WALLS WERE DECORATED 
 
 WITH PAINTINGS AND MANY ARTICLES WERE 
 FOUND. 
 
 "Well now/' said Skid, "what next in turn, 
 To view the sights of this concern ?" 
 Said I, "I think we'd best devote 
 A little time in taking note 
 Of what we here have seen and heard. 
 For people may dispute our word. 
 And to be candid, I don't blame 
 Them if they'd scorn our very name. 
 If we should e'er presume to tell 
 Them half we've seen 'twixt Earth and Hell. 
 But now I'm off my base again. 
 In fact, it seems the fault of men. 
 To make the details all too plain 
 When once they're pictured on the brain. 
 70 
 
THE DEYIL IN CHAINS 
 
 Then pardon me and I'll turn back, 
 And give it still another whack, 
 And if I fail to make it plain, 
 Don't charge it to my fertile brain, 
 But rather to a lack of time, 
 To spin my story all in rhyme ; 
 For with my labor on my hand 
 I've little time at my command. 
 To spin a yarn, as it is styled. 
 To please the old and teach the child. 
 Then passing on as best we could, 
 Within another room we stood. 
 In which a plenty was to please. 
 And lead us on by slow degrees. 
 And so it is with all mankind. 
 No matter how yon try, you find 
 Yourself confronted as you go. 
 Not by a seen, but unseen foe. 
 And though rebuke him as you will. 
 He'll follow in your footsteps still. 
 And when at last it must depart. 
 With Grod at peace you'll find your heart. 
 A room we spied with massive walls. 
 From which ran two stupendous halls, 
 71 
 
SKID A^TD I 
 
 And they were wide three hundred feet, 
 And paved they were with full concrete. 
 They hoth one hundred feet were high; 
 Skid guessed them that and so did I. 
 The rooms a furlong full were square, 
 And perfect were they everywhere; 
 The ceiling strong and nicely curved. 
 High eighty feet, we both observed. 
 The walls were all a sort of blue, 
 AVith here and there a darker hue. 
 The sculptor's skill was plain to see. 
 Though God, or man, or who he be. 
 And all things as to man the soul. 
 To form one grand stupendous whole. 
 And while they're all revolving still. 
 It's to obey our Maker^s will. 
 The doors were also hung on brass. 
 And automatic let us pass ; 
 And they were, too, in splendor made, 
 With rose and boxwood colonnade. 
 More full of interest still it grew. 
 As such discoveries always do ; 
 And for such boys it might be said. 
 It seemed like dealing with the dead. 
 
 79, 
 
THE DEVIL IX CHAINS 
 
 And now to rest our wearied brain 
 And our composure to regain, 
 We sat down not to mourn our fate, 
 But what we said Fll here relate. 
 I, speaking first, said: "One can see, 
 That other mortals, just lilvc we. 
 Have often rambled through these halls. 
 And possibly have shaped these walls. 
 But why it's been so long unknown. 
 Is past conception, I must own." 
 We melancholy then became^ 
 And neither could conceal the same, 
 And both at intervals shed tears. 
 But neither one gave way to fears. 
 But kept our courage well in hand. 
 To view the scenes at our command. 
 We tarried not, nor did we stay, 
 Nor spend our time in idle play, 
 But sized it up, as others would. 
 And drew conclusions best we could. 
 We in the wall a wardrobe found. 
 Just three short steps above the ground; 
 x\nd there we found among the rest, 
 A pocket comb, and coat and vest. 
 73 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 And, further still, a lady's cloak, 
 That did from us a smile provoke. 
 And in a pocket there we found 
 A volume small in linen bound, 
 And on the flyleaf, written plain, 
 Skid's sister's name, "Malinda Jane." 
 To tell its style I shaVt delay. 
 But was in part a cutaway. 
 And where it is — well, let me see, 
 My readers all, it seems to me. 
 If should they want this cloak to find. 
 Or want to make one of the kind, 
 The thing to do would be to go, 
 As Skid and I have done, you know, 
 x\nd then I'll feel in duty bound 
 To tell you where it might be found. 
 And for the trip how to prepare. 
 And what to do when once you're there. 
 Now, should you go, take this advice, 
 I'll give it once, don't ask it twice : 
 With knife and scissors don't be ])ored, 
 For such a thing you can't afford, 
 And couldn't use them if you did ; 
 I'll tell you that and so will Skid. 
 74 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAINS 
 
 But now as duty calls again. 
 To give the details best I can. 
 Of how we passed the time away, 
 And what befell us eYei7 day. 
 And if I have, or should digress. 
 It's but my nature, I'll confess, 
 Though to be candid in the case, 
 Of wit I think it forms the base, 
 And some men seem to live on wit, 
 And others still have not a bit ; 
 And to that class I must subscribe, 
 For wit is foreign to my tribe. 
 But will somebody take a brush. 
 And lick me till I'm forced to hush, 
 And then as best becomes a man, 
 I'll thread my narrative again. 
 Again we started on our way. 
 To see what still before us lay. 
 Some strange footprints within we found. 
 As slow the room we traced around ; 
 And other marks of mankind, too; 
 A¥hat seemed to be a maiden's shoe. 
 We found all covered o'er with dust. 
 And by it lay an ancient bust, 
 75 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 A sort of heirloom, I'm inclined 
 
 To think was next our lot to find. 
 
 With hits of tapestry concealed, 
 
 Which left our hlood almost congealed. 
 
 It occupied all by itself 
 
 A sacred place upon a shelf. 
 
 And on its lid we found a mitten, 
 
 On which a card was plainly written. 
 
 These simple words and nothing more, 
 
 "Do not as others have before. 
 Come not, I pray, these walls within, 
 Nor trifle with the bane of sin, 
 
 ^Twill only drive you lower still, 
 And you the Devil serve at will." 
 And then to tell you how we felt. 
 Or how in strong embrace we knelt. 
 Would be a task in vain, I'm sure. 
 With such a pen as mine obscure. 
 But as it were by instinct taught. 
 We stopped to take a moment's thought. 
 And to discuss in silence all 
 That might be done or might befall, 
 For of a truth some fears had crept 
 Upon us and we soundly wept, 
 76 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 Until our courage was renewed, 
 And future hopes our thoughts endued. 
 The time was dragging slowly by, 
 And Skid was tired and so was I, 
 And patiently we hoped to find 
 A resting place of any kind; 
 But nothing could be seen, as yet. 
 On which we could or cared to set, 
 And though much jaded, on we went 
 To see what Nature would present. 
 Another room we now espied. 
 With cots well filled on every side; 
 The cots were made of quarter oak, 
 And in their silence almost spoke. 
 And mortal man can not surmise 
 The full extent of our surprise,. 
 On stepping in with bated breath 
 Into this silent room of death. 
 We seemed to tread a sacred ground, 
 As things began to whirl around. 
 We tried to cry but lost our voice, 
 As some men do when they rejoice, 
 And in response to fate alone. 
 We first resolved to die unknown. 
 77 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 But soon a still voice seemed to tell 
 Us, there's a God in Israel, 
 And one to save and not condemn 
 The faithful souls of one of them. 
 Who comes to Him as comes the child, 
 For ever faithful, meek and mild. 
 Then of the cots I next shall tell, 
 In part the details, too, as well. 
 Five hundred cots there were and more. 
 And every cot two corpses bore ; 
 And while a pallor o'er them spread, 
 They scarcely looked to us like dead, 
 But rather looked like sound asleep. 
 And we were for them forced to weep. 
 We shed the bitter tears of grief. 
 But weeping seemed to give relief. 
 Though dead and lying all in rows. 
 They'd not commenced to decompose. 
 Nor were they dressed with equal pride; 
 Some wore a kerchief neatly tied 
 About their necks, with waistcoats neat, 
 While others still were bare of feet. 
 A clash of chains three times we heard. 
 Three times we couldn't speak a word, 
 78 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAmS 
 
 We lost our voice ; almost our breath ; 
 And scared we were almost to death. 
 As there we stood we wept aloud, 
 In close embrace our heads we bowed, 
 And kneeling, cried for God to roll 
 The awful sin from off our soul. 
 Now readers, tell me, in this case. 
 How you would like to take my place. 
 Or, would you rather I'd excuse. 
 And further still your mind amuse? 
 If that's your pleasure, 'tis the same, 
 Because to please you is my aim. 
 Well, then, I'll tell you what I saw, 
 And give my version of the law, 
 And how they practice here in court. 
 No matter, good or bad report. 
 Then of the corpses more I'll tell, 
 Of how they looked in part, as well ; 
 For some were dressed, and some were nude. 
 Some seemed well bred, and others rude. 
 Some seemed but sleeping in their place. 
 And some showed vengeance in their face; 
 Some looked like dreaming in repose. 
 And some wore patches on their clothes. 
 79 
 
SKID AND 1 
 
 One wore a collar and cravat, 
 Another still a cockney hat. 
 One wore a pin on his lapel, 
 With these initials, "E/^ and "L.'' 
 One lassy wore a black silk skirt, 
 One man was dressed in plain check shirt, 
 And some wore diamonds in their ties, 
 While others lay with open eyes. 
 And seemed to watch us with much care, 
 A hideous, ghastly death-like stare. 
 And all the time the atmos2:)here 
 Was warm, and bright, and crisp, and clear. 
 Some forty years and some were more. 
 Some flowing beard, some mustache wore; 
 And some gray heads, among the rest. 
 Full sixty years, I think, at best. 
 And some were young, some boys and girls, 
 Upo'n whose heads were glossy curls. 
 And seemed to me in such a state. 
 Had merited a better fate. 
 And if their looks could be my guide. 
 They once had been their parents' pride; 
 But who they were, and whence they came. 
 Must still remain unknown the same. 
 80 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAIN'S 
 
 And some had grown to feeble age; 
 Three score and ten, as I presage, 
 Perhaps forefathers of my race, 
 Made this their final resting place. 
 Of ladies old we saw but two, 
 But younger ones in numbers grew; 
 And yet, for sex, I here might tell, 
 There^s no distinction here in Hell. 
 And yet to make my meaning clear, 
 1^11 give them each a separate sphere, 
 And give their sex but not their name. 
 For it, indeed, would be a shame. 
 My mother's sex here to define. 
 For that is mortal, not divine. 
 Some foreigners, some native born, 
 Some wore long hair, and some were shorn 
 Some wore ])rass buttons on their clothes. 
 And one was minus half his nose. 
 And one had left an arm behind. 
 And still another was stone l)lind. 
 One lay with tongue upon his chin. 
 Broad as your hand, and long, and thin ; 
 Unkempt and matten was his hair, 
 His teeth were missing here and there ; 
 81 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 His hands were crossed, his legs the same. 
 And on his breast we read his name, 
 In letters bold, and strong, and plain. 
 From telling it, I must refrain ; 
 For as with thief, again I say. 
 His friends these lines may read some day; 
 And rather at the stake Vd burn 
 Than they from me his fate should learn. 
 Then one familiar form we spied. 
 And then we both sat down and cried. 
 Some Polanders, but two of these. 
 And some were aborigines. 
 And next we found among the flock, 
 A red man with his tomahawk. 
 And on his back his arrows tied, 
 And quivers three lay by his side. 
 His dress was gaudy, and, in brief, 
 He looked much like a Mohawk chief. 
 And then a minister we found. 
 Among the rest there lying round. 
 And how we knew that, just suppose, 
 In fact, we knew it by his clothes. 
 And this I'll say to end my tale. 
 In fact without ii I shouhl fail, 
 82 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAINS 
 
 That all appeared not like the dead. 
 But sleeping soundly, as we said. 
 But who they were and whence they came, 
 Is immaterial just the same; 
 And if you still more want of me, 
 Then do as I did, go and see. 
 We notes had taken in our mind. 
 And started on still more to find. 
 Now Skid had started off at will, 
 And I behind was lingering still, 
 When stopping short. Skid said, "Why, Paul, 
 What's this I've found here on the wall ?" 
 A group of portraits, though, I think. 
 But every portrait seems to wink. 
 And shift about and move around. 
 As if by laws of nature bound. 
 What dainty creatures, too, they are. 
 But there is one as black as tar, 
 But I'd not be at all surprised 
 If she were here somewhat disguised. 
 But what her object I can't tell. 
 To here disguise herself in Hell; 
 But let that be, as be it will. 
 Her presence will confront us still. 
 83 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 ■'How many are they ? Count them, Paul/' 
 'I did, and think there's twelve in all, 
 Although they flit about so fast. 
 The numbers to confuse at last. 
 Two seem much plainer than the rest. 
 And by their looks would like to jest. 
 They seem perceptible to touch, 
 But don't appear to worry much ; 
 But taking all upon the whole, 
 They seem to live and have a soul. 
 And by the powers of mind, dear boy. 
 They seem our presence to enjoy. 
 But stop a moment, let me see. 
 These look at you, and those at me ; 
 And all their actions seem so plain. 
 Well, now, see that, they're gone again. 
 In future they may reappear. 
 And then, perhaps, make all things clear. 
 They're like the fabled Irish flea, 
 A moment here, then gone, you see. 
 The strangest thjng I ever saw. 
 It almost makes me doubt God's law; 
 In fact, it's passing all belief, 
 Enough to fill one's mind with grief 
 84 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 To see the strange phenomena, 
 A moment here, then pass away. 
 And leave our minds a vacuum, 
 For all remaining time to come. 
 Though, as we've said, again I'll say. 
 The mystery may pass away. 
 So let it pass, we'll further go. 
 We'll go at least a mile or so. 
 And then if we should find no end. 
 We'll change our course and homeward wend. 
 For I am suffering now from thirst; 
 Besides, I think we've passed the worst; 
 And if we've not, then God forbid 
 We further go; what say you. Skid?" 
 Skid thus replied: "It seems to me. 
 As long as we no danger see. 
 And scenes diversified we find. 
 As here we have of every kind, 
 'Twould be the folly of a fool 
 To change our course or break our rule. 
 And face about and thus return, 
 Till we explore the whole concern. 
 It's not a dogma now we find, 
 Nor theory of any kind. 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 But stubborn facts we can't deny, 
 You see it thus, and so do I." 
 'If that's your pluck then go we must. 
 Though earth to earth and dust to dust.' 
 And passing on, some torches fine 
 We found of hemlock and of pine, 
 And tethered well with rawhide tight. 
 They served to make a splendid light. 
 But they soon proved a nuisance still, 
 For light it was within the hill ; 
 And so it proved to be a bore. 
 As sure as two and two are four. 
 And here, perhaps, 'tis well to say, 
 (And you have found it just that way). 
 That when on casting down a light. 
 For reasons known it hurts the sight; 
 And for a very little while. 
 We almost tumbled in a pile. 
 Our thirst increased as time went on. 
 At intervals then all was gone. 
 Which prompted us to still explore. 
 Still other rooms just three times four. 
 And out of deference for my time, 
 Fll give no more details in rhyme, 
 86 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAINS 
 
 Of length and breadth and height of room, 
 You understand me, I presume, 
 For you would hardly here suppose, 
 That I would tell it all in prose, 
 For that would serve to make it worse. 
 So what I write ITl write in verse. 
 Then grouping all as one concern, 
 They grew in interest, each in turn, 
 For sights increased in every case. 
 As slow we passed from place to place. 
 But in their turn we viewed each one. 
 And noted carefully what was done; 
 And often in most solemn awe. 
 In silence bowed to what we saw. 
 And though we trod the downward course. 
 We offered prayer sometimes by force ; 
 For earnest prayer in times of grief 
 Was granted to a dying thief; 
 And if for him, why not for us? 
 But that 1^11 stop not to discuss ; 
 Yet in their order I'll admit 
 We knew not wliat to make of it. 
 Some rooms had stood since time began, 
 Though others showed the work of man ; 
 87 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 Some seemed to designate the race 
 That once inhabited the place. 
 One room we found with sliding door, 
 Which had been used for general store. 
 With boxes, barrels, and side shelves. 
 Where we sat down to rest ourselves. 
 Much bric-a-brac we found in there. 
 Of lace and ribbons and a pair 
 Of ladies' gloves of finest kid. 
 We found upon an old trunk lid. 
 And in one glove we found a string, 
 To which was tied a plain band ring, 
 And on the inner side most plain, 
 These letters were, "Malinda Jane.'' 
 Skid kissed the ring; I bowed my head. 
 He put it back. "Let's go," I said. 
 Skid's tears fell fast, and so did mine. 
 At what appeared a sacred shrine. 
 Some rooms were oblong, some were square. 
 And one was graced with winding stair; 
 Of antique fashion it was made. 
 With lignum vita' l)alustrade. 
 And newel posts, with carvings set. 
 Some brilliants shone, some black as jet. 
 88 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAINS 
 
 And in another post we found, 
 As large as dollars gold and round, 
 A quantity of rubies rare, 
 Imbedded nicely here and there. 
 It seemed to us like endless space ; 
 For, miles away the landing place ; 
 And what produced the most concern, 
 Our eyes would follow every turn. 
 And far beyond a vague contour, 
 But what, at first we wasn^t sure. 
 In form resembling that of man. 
 With knee pants and immense brogan. 
 And then, to our excited mind, 
 It seemed a monster of some kind, 
 With head and horns like some wild beast, 
 Kesembling man perhaps the least. 
 And thus confronted as we were. 
 By evil thoughts as they occur. 
 And feeling somewhat in despair. 
 We passed beyond the winding stair; 
 Because we found as much below. 
 As either one would care to know, 
 And as it is with all mankind, 
 'Twas but a fancy of our mind — 
 89 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 A phantom, nothing more nor less, 
 Seen when the mind is in distress. 
 And though a pygmy in the start, 
 When in possession of the heart. 
 It in proportion quickly grows. 
 And then our friends become our foes. 
 The walk was rouglier than before, 
 For niggerheads composed the floor. 
 On every hand were signs of life. 
 Among the rest a barlow knife : 
 And, further on, a pinafore, 
 Hung just inside a closet door. 
 And other gowns of olden style, 
 And books and papers were on file. 
 One written in the Hebrew tongue, 
 Near-by upon the wall was hung; 
 'Twas dated A. D., Eighty-eight, 
 And told of Nero's awful fate. 
 The frontispiece, as it appears, 
 Has faded much by dint of years, 
 And yet, the outline might be seen, 
 By holding with the light between. 
 Another one, as I suppose. 
 Was written in the dullest prose, 
 90 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 And hieroglyphics marked its pages. 
 And records kept for many ages; 
 And though we neither one had learned 
 The language, yet, for all concerned, 
 It seemed as easy quite to read 
 As did our mother tongue, indeed. 
 And still another book obscure, 
 And written B. C, I am sure. 
 For Moses' laws seemed to control 
 The universe from pole to pole : 
 And though the lids looked old, 'tis true, 
 The writing was as plain as new, 
 And written with a goose-quill pen. 
 For I've heard said they used them then. 
 But I don't care that to discuss. 
 For it don't matter much to us. 
 ''Come, Paul, let's go," said Skid at last. 
 And to another room we passed. 
 And in one corner there we found 
 A flint-lock musket on the ground, 
 And powder-horn, and musket-ball, 
 And haversack upon the wall. 
 A name was cut upon the barrel. 
 Translated it was "John O'Farrel." 
 91 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 'Tvvas dated, "Fifteen hundred one/' 
 And lettered, "Do not steal this gun.'' 
 And in the stock, both neat and round, 
 A box of tallow there we found, 
 A bunch of tow, and bullets twenty, 
 And patching, ready cut, a plenty. 
 And on the wall we chanced to spy 
 A powder horn that hung near-by. 
 Of powder full two-thirds or more, 
 With bare-foot prints upon the floor. 
 Our system now became relaxed, 
 Because our minds were overtaxed, 
 And interest then began to die. 
 For Skid was tired, and so was I ; 
 But didn't stop to take a rest, 
 For tools in use are always best. 
 Of all our thoughts now, home was least, 
 And feared no longer man nor beast. 
 Nor hydra-headed imps of Hell, 
 Nor dragon triple-tailed as well. • 
 We'd face the Devil if he dare 
 To face us here on footing fair, 
 And so we hastened all in hand. 
 With little thought where we should land ; 
 9^ 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAINS 
 
 And at the end a room we found, 
 Through which a silent streamlet wound 
 Itself among the pillars tall, 
 Then disappeared heneath the wall ; 
 But where or whence, there's none that knows, 
 Nor what fair fields it overflows. 
 Upon its banks we found a cup, 
 And sitting down w^e took a sup. 
 Which served at once a wondrous cause. 
 And controverted Nature's laws; 
 For thirst and hunger disappeared. 
 And dangers we no longer feared, 
 And home and friends in mind were banished 
 Alternately, as fears were vanished. 
 And we could now^ ourselves control, 
 As turns the needle to the pole; 
 And readers all may think it strange. 
 That we should make so great a change. 
 But then a semi-spirit state 
 Had surely now become our fate, 
 And though we still were of the flesh, 
 A new thought seemed to dawn afresh. 
 We now sat down for sober thought. 
 And so decide what next we ought 
 93 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 To do in that predicament, 
 That seemed so boundless in extent. 
 And while we meditating sat. 
 And watching closely this and that, 
 And half reclining at, our ease, 
 Our elbows resting on our knees, 
 The same strange god again appeared. 
 And legions more around him jeered, 
 With cloven feet and tongues of flame. 
 And some presumed to speak our name. 
 And some d^erided us indeed. 
 While others seemed our case to plead; 
 One 1)urly fellow brushed our clothes, 
 And then he deftly pulled our nose, 
 And then to further show his spite. 
 Pie caught our ears and pinched them tight, 
 Till we were forced to cry aloud, 
 And fix to fight the angry crowd. 
 Their very breathings filled the air, 
 And round us formed a hollow square; 
 And millions were they as before, 
 And every breath brought millions more, 
 Until they seemed like grains of sand. 
 In countless ilumbers all on hand, 
 94 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 To help augment the numbers still, 
 And serve their demi-gods at will. 
 Than eye could see or ear could hear, 
 They farther from afar appear; 
 Like spears of grass, or leaves on trees, 
 They numerous were like swarms of bees; 
 And all like beavers seemed to try 
 To catch the DeviFs cunning eye. 
 One thing we saw that hurt us more 
 Than anything weM seen before: 
 ^Twas one familiar form and face. 
 Among the imps in that foul place. 
 A neighbor's boy we'd long since known. 
 Now rambling here in Hell alone; 
 And one we knew from childhood up, 
 Who loved too well the tippler's cup. 
 At first he little drank at ease, 
 But habits grew by slow degrees, 
 And soon his master it became. 
 And he the tool was in the game ; 
 And like so many men before. 
 He fell a victim at its door. 
 And sure as daytime follows night. 
 So he pursued the downward flight. 
 95 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 He frequented the gambler's den, 
 Among the h^vvest kind of men, 
 To bawdy houses, too, he went. 
 As if on ruin he was bent. 
 We knew him with his parents fond; 
 We knew him as a vagabond ; 
 We saw him make his downward start, 
 We saw him break his mothers heart. 
 We knew him as a fast young man, 
 When first liis downward course began; 
 We knew him when, at first he drank, 
 We knew him as he downward sank; 
 We knew him when he cursed his mother, 
 He cursed the one and beat the other ; 
 We saw him in his tremens lay. 
 And heard- his parents for him pray ; 
 We heard his sister plead his case, 
 And saw him slap her in the face ; 
 We saw him when upon the bier. 
 And now, again, we see him here. 
 The coat, the vest, the shirt, the tie. 
 When he was called upon to die. 
 Are on him yet, he wears them still. 
 We can't forget them; never will. 
 96 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAINS 
 
 They seemed to speak his parents' name, 
 And we, too, shrank for very shame, 
 For we had seen a better day 
 Ere we in Hell had gone astray. 
 His name I've, purposely, suppressed. 
 Because it seems to me it's best. 
 To use his name here might be wrong, 
 When speaking of him in my song ; 
 Hence, I shall use a nom de plume. 
 Because his parents, I presume. 
 May some day read what I have said. 
 Although I'm here among the dead. 
 And if they should, 'twould cause them grief. 
 And so henceforth I'll call him "Thief." 
 And out of deference for his name. 
 And also for his parents' shame, 
 I'll say as little as I can, 
 What here occurs 'twixt man and man; 
 And what became of him as well. 
 And what has been his fate in Hell ; 
 And how he spends in Hell his time. 
 To expiate his fiendish crime. 
 Inflicted on his fellow man, 
 Before his course in Hell began. 
 97 
 
SKID AND T 
 
 He first began by drinking wine, 
 When he was only six and nine; 
 And though he little drank at first, 
 His parents jnstly feared the worst. 
 
 1)8 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 CHAPTER VII 
 
 WE WERE FULLY CONVINCED THAT WE WERE IN HELL, 
 BUT WE EXPECTED THROUGH FAITH TO GAIN OUR 
 
 LIBERTY SURROUNDED BY COUNTLESS NUMBERS OF 
 
 IMPS WE FOUGHT OUR WAY WITH THE BELIEF THAT 
 THEY WERE SPIRITS, OR "THOUGHTS/' AND AS THEY 
 WERE NOT MATERIAL, THEY COULD DO US NO HARM 
 
 THEY ALL SEEMED TO TAKE GREAT DELIGHT IN 
 
 PAYING HOMAGE TO THEIR CHIEF, THE DEVIL — THE 
 VILE DEMONS, AS AVELL AS THE MORE HUMBLE, 
 VIED WITH EACH OTHER IN SERVING THEIR MASTER 
 
 CAIN, A PROMINENT CHARACTER WOMEN ARE 
 
 NOT SO NUMEROUS, AND CHILDREN ARE NEVER SEEN 
 
 WE MEET THE DEVIL AND CONVERSE WITH HTM 
 
 FACE TO FACE. 
 
 I'll further not abuse the mind 
 Of those who feel at all inclined 
 To follow us in what we've said, 
 While here sojourning with the dead. 
 For we no longer held a doubt. 
 From circumstances round about, 
 LcfC. 99 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 That something awful had befell, 
 And we were landed safe in Hell; 
 But what the end was yet to be, 
 Eemained for us through faith to see; 
 A weapon most invincible. 
 That never wants for principle, 
 But never yet failed to redeem, 
 A hopeless case as ours may seem. 
 Through faith alone the worlds revolve. 
 And faith as sure this case will solve, 
 For God it was who made the law, 
 And God our destinies foresaw ; 
 He formed the means for every end. 
 And never fails to be our friend. 
 That they were spirits dawned anew, 
 And we were flesh and spirit, too. 
 Inspired us further still to try. 
 And vent our rage before we die; 
 And if to die, then not defile 
 Our grand, imposing funeral pile. 
 We started on without delay. 
 And through the imps we fought our way; 
 They seemed predestined to his will, 
 And at his call cried louder still, 
 100 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAINS 
 
 And seemed to glory in the fumes 
 Of such a hell^ as one presumes; 
 And what on earth would seem a curse, 
 Was here in Hell made so much worse. 
 And all appeared of deep concern. 
 To serve the Devil in his turn ; 
 To pay him homage was their pride. 
 As does the moon control the tide, 
 And never truer toward the pole. 
 Could needle turn than every soul 
 Obey their lord and chieftain's word. 
 With not a single protest heard. 
 The vilest characters on earth, 
 A menace to mankind from birth, 
 Who never did respect a law. 
 Since first the light of day they saw ; 
 Who cursed their parents all their life ; 
 Who beat their children and their wife; 
 Who desecrate the golden rule 
 Of ancient and of modern school. 
 And didn't stop, upon the whole, 
 To curse the author of their soul. 
 Are here compelled, by discipline. 
 To pay the penalty of sin. 
 101 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 They sit for hours and praise his name; 
 In fact, it seems their highest aim 
 To pay him homage in this way, 
 At least five hundred times a day. 
 Of every form they seem to be. 
 Some had one head, some two or three, 
 And on each head a hom they wore; 
 And some a tail that drug the floor. 
 Some headless quite with bloody stains; 
 Some free appeared, some bound in chains; 
 Some fair of face, and some were not, 
 And some bespoke a drunken sot. 
 Some leaped, some ran, some walked in air. 
 Some hideous were, and some were fair; 
 Some there whose fellow man they'd slain ; 
 For instance, there was poor old Cain. 
 His form disheveled and much bent. 
 Exponent of his punishment. 
 Some beardless boys, and some were old. 
 Some timid were, and some were bold. 
 Some females were in rich attire. 
 Who seemed the Devil to inspire. 
 And cut their pranks as women will, 
 Who never know wlien to be still. 
 102 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 I mean the women here in Hell^ 
 Who love so well their yarns to tell, 
 And while they number not a few, 
 They still augment their numbers, too, 
 And in conclusion I must say. 
 They, like their brothers, go astray. 
 To both extremes they often run; 
 Hence, this is true and not a pun. 
 Of all possessed of mortal mind, 
 There's none so good as womankind; 
 Yet when they once have gone astray. 
 There's none can be so mean as they. 
 More subtle that their minds appear 
 In both extremes to me is clear; 
 And when one seeks to do you wrong, 
 She'd shame the Devil all along. 
 And all mankind would for her blush. 
 Before she'd condescend to hush. 
 Or stop to give her mouth a rest. 
 Or fill with air her heaving breast. 
 When here, the Devil they outdo. 
 In every thought and action, too; 
 They clank their chains and dance around. 
 Then walk by turn upon the ground. 
 103 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 Some gloried much in all they said, 
 And others seemed to be well-bred. 
 The ill-bred sought to slap our face, 
 The well-bred tried to keep their place; 
 The latter suffered much torment. 
 The former seemed to be content. 
 Some seemed to be a long time there. 
 With new arrivals everywhere. 
 And new arrivals seemed to be 
 The class the Devil loved to see. 
 Tormented, scourged, and punished well, 
 The first ten thousand years in Hell ; 
 He drenches them in burning flame. 
 And smiles to hear them praise his name. 
 And like the spaniel you subdue. 
 They lick the hand that beat them, too. 
 He drenches them, I said before, 
 A thousand years; a thousand more, 
 In molten fire, at full white heat, 
 Both soul and body, head to feet. 
 By fear no longer now inspired. 
 We of the Devil thus inquired: 
 And I, the spokesman now became, 
 And him addressed in Heaven's name. 
 104 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 Without a moment's tlioiiglit, in fact, 
 Of what to do or how to act ; 
 When there confronting face to face 
 The deadly demon of our race, 
 Our great imaginary foe, 
 The great primeval cause of woe. 
 The advocate of all that's bad, 
 That agitates and makes one mad. 
 In words as they occurred to me, 
 I thus addressed his majesty: 
 "Pray, tell me, sir, in words divine. 
 In Heaven's name, and yours, and mine. 
 Why you, though crowned the Prince of Night, 
 Would dare to lead a deadly fight 
 Against the living, as we be. 
 Of flesh and blood, as you may see ? 
 You've transgressed all the laws of earth, 
 And prostituted every birth. 
 Since Hell was formed and time began. 
 You've cursed the soul of fallen man. 
 Through stealth you've entered every soul, 
 And cursed mankind from pole to pole; 
 You're guided by no rule but wrong, 
 You lead the weak and guide the strong; 
 105 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 You permeate their every mind 
 And prove a curse to all mankind. 
 But in your rulings here below, 
 There's Just one thing I'd like to know, 
 And if you'll hear what I've to tell, 
 We'll then submit our case in Hell." 
 To this in part the Devil said, 
 With blood perspiring from his head : 
 "Presumptions mortals, don't you know 
 That I'm the Prince of all below, 
 And rule the realms of Hell at ease. 
 And have myself alone to please? 
 Then why should you presume to speak 
 To me, the ruler of the weak. 
 ril freeze the blood within your veins; 
 I'll fumigate thy very brains ; 
 I'll crush your soul beneath my feet 
 If you such language dare repeat." 
 Then stopping, I presume to think, 
 He gave a perspicacious wink, 
 And run his fingers through his hair, 
 And waved his brawny arms in air. 
 Then with his fists he struck his knee. 
 And said, "How dare 3'ou answer me? 
 106 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 For don't you know my lot has been 
 To execute the laws of sin. 
 And measure out in full extent 
 The most unbounded punishment 
 In ways that seem most just to me, 
 To such vain creatures as you be? 
 And while I rule, as rule I will, 
 I'll conquer, and I'll rule you still. 
 I'll not accept what you commend. 
 But you I'll punish to the end. 
 And when the end shall be below, 
 Remains for me, not 3^ou, to know. 
 And though 'tis fate that gives me this. 
 Yet all things worketh not amiss, 
 But to one grand and final end 
 Will every knee be forced to bend. 
 The maxim of immortal mind. 
 That every tree bring forth its kind. 
 In every instance here it's true, 
 No matter where they be nor who, 
 Nor what on earth their lot has been, 
 They all must pay the wage of sin. 
 And though revolting at the first. 
 The dire suspense is not the worst." 
 107 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 "We know your power, but hear," I said, 
 "And please don't be quite so ill bred ; 
 And if you'll hear me till Fm through, 
 Then we, in turn, will liear from you. 
 We know you're master here in Hell, 
 But this we'd like for you to tell. 
 What wrong we've done, or how incurred 
 We your ill will by deed or word ; 
 Or how you dare us here approach, 
 Or on our rights to tlms encroach? 
 For of a truth, we now can see. 
 You're but a false identity, 
 And 'tis a duty plain for man 
 To cast you out as best we can ; 
 And when the work is once begun 
 The greatest task of all is done. 
 And he who does with you conjure 
 Will suffer for it, that is sure. 
 And as revealed to those of old, 
 God's laws to man will still unfold, 
 Till in the end we'll all be free, 
 As God intends that we should be. 
 For God reveals it plain for all, 
 Man never did and can not fall ; 
 108 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAINS 
 
 But rising not above the brain. 
 This may appear not quite so plain. 
 But prol)e the matter to the heart, 
 Of God you'll find that man's a part, 
 And in the end should sin prevail. 
 Then God himself would surely fail ; 
 But sin God never did create. 
 Hence, it is none of his estate. 
 In God all things have their beginning, 
 And in God must have their inning ; 
 And as the saints well taught of old, 
 God is too pure sin to behold. 
 Hence you, the Devil, as I see. 
 Are false, as false as false can be. 
 With man you have no part to do. 
 If rightly we God's word construe. 
 Of God you're not the counterpart : 
 You're but the evil of the heart ; 
 You're a belief and nothing more, 
 A false belief unto the core ; 
 Though I'll admit, because it's fair, 
 That every human has his share 
 Of evil thoughts of every kind, 
 A consequence of mortal mind. 
 109 
 
8K ID AND 1 
 
 Hence, this conclusion here I reach, 
 And to my fellow man I preach 
 That of a truth thei'c is no Devil ; 
 If so, God made him on a level 
 With Clod, the Father, and the Son, 
 And vice and virtue hoth are one. 
 Then good and evil both are good. 
 And might is right, do what we would ; 
 And light and darkness, too, are one. 
 And chaos ever rules the sun ; 
 And by the logic of the case, 
 That must be false upon its face. 
 If good and evil, as you claim, 
 Are counterparts and both the same. 
 And both possessed of ecpuU force. 
 Though counterbalanced, as of course. 
 Then change all tilings in nature must; 
 The sun itself would mold and rust; 
 The moon and all the stars would clash, 
 And in confusion they would crash 
 And fly at random hither and thither, 
 Nor could they otherwise do either. 
 Again, pure water from one source, 
 And l)itter can not come, of course; 
 110 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAINS 
 
 Though the proportions be but small, 
 It must and would pollute it all ; 
 And to repeat, I must insist, 
 The Devil never did exist. 
 But if I further may explain. 
 It's but a fabric of the brain. 
 And all mankind have got their share. 
 And best of men have some to spare. 
 But that's enough along that line. 
 And further I'll our course define: 
 We're here, it's true, and here from Earth, 
 Where Nature stooped to give us birth ; 
 But why we're here we can't explain. 
 Unless it's softening of the brain. 
 And that, perhaps, we might presume. 
 Because there seems sufficient room, 
 For in the proper state of mind 
 No mortal such a place could find. 
 We, to your honor now appeal 
 (If you a sense of honor feel) 
 To know the modus of your rule, 
 If we be judged a knave or fool. 
 The latter we, perhaps, may be. 
 But how the former, I can't see. 
 Ill 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 Of sin we're born, we don't deny, 
 And for that sin we both must die. 
 And render then a just account 
 For small as well as large amount. 
 Mortality, our only sin. 
 As Adam was, so we have been. 
 And while it often fills our bowl. 
 We've still a chance to save our soul. 
 And if we choose a different course 
 We act at will, and not by force. 
 Of earth we are, of earth we're born, 
 And from the earth we've not been shorn ; 
 And this remember, Prince of Night, 
 The living God makes all things right. 
 And while you deprecate his love, 
 His hand divine rules all above. 
 He numbers on our head each hair. 
 And every atom everywhere; 
 In empty space to Him is known. 
 And through His love makes all his own. 
 Our limbs are nimble as can be, 
 And that we're flesh is plain to see. 
 And this conclusion we have drawn. 
 And if we're wrong all hopes are gone ; 
 113 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 We did no wrong, we broke uo laws ; 
 We prostituted not the cause 
 In any way of laws divine, 
 For flesh and blood are none of thine. 
 Instinctively, by cause unknown, 
 We here appear before thy throne 
 To reap the folly of our fate 
 And bow before thy royal state. 
 We make no claims of high degree, 
 And only ask that we be free ; 
 We ask it, too, and press our claim 
 With faith unbounded in the name 
 Of Him alone, alone who can 
 Eedeem the souls of fallen man; 
 And neither do we ask through fear, 
 For He will make our titles clear. 
 With gravest apprehension, though, 
 Who know thy ruling powers below ; 
 We know the powers that rule within, 
 That all mankind are prone to sin. 
 Their appetite insatiate. 
 To worldly pleasures gravitate; 
 But why we're here seems hard to tell, 
 A strange phenomenon in Hell ; 
 113 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 A j^roblem that would drive insane 
 The man that would the cause explain, 
 And make a saint a bedlamite 
 Who dares a thing like this invite. 
 And this is true, as we'll admit, 
 And your attention call to it, 
 That we're of flesh upon the whole. 
 Of woman born, and have a soul. 
 And one to save, and not to lose, 
 Nor you to worship nor amuse. 
 Nor will we to you homage pay. 
 Say what you will, do what you may ; 
 Your laws of right we both respect, 
 The wrong ones surely we'll reject, 
 And though you marshal millions more, 
 Your laws of wrong we'll still ignore. 
 And though you offer bread and wine. 
 We'd thank you, but not with you dine ; 
 Nor will we at your table sit. 
 Nor join you in discussing it. 
 For well we know your stubborn rule. 
 Who joins with you becomes your tool." 
 While thus we talked to all within. 
 Unbearable became the din, 
 114 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 And conflict there in chaos reigned 
 Till every nervous tension strained, 
 And lurid air and flaming swords 
 Embattled hosts and ghostly hordes, 
 With head aloft, and blood-shot eyes, 
 And clash of arms, and maniac cries. 
 And guttural sounds and clash of chains 
 Were object lessons of our brains. 
 We almost sank beneath the weight; 
 The pressure was almost too great 
 For minds like ours, weak and finite. 
 To thus behold the awful sight. 
 The first attack was not renewed. 
 But quite a different course pursued ; 
 A great maneuvre next he made. 
 And moved his imps in grand parade 
 Around the square he occupied. 
 Some forty long and thirty wide. 
 But be the object what it will. 
 We found the Devil cunning still. 
 And only by the force of nerve 
 Could we, in such a case, preserve 
 A fair demeanor there to stand, 
 x4nd see the imps obey command. 
 115 
 
vSKID AND I 
 
 The Devil now, amid the din, 
 With hideous smile and ghastly grin, 
 Drew on himself the robe of court 
 To give his language full purport. 
 Then took his seat upon the throne. 
 Where he in fiendish splendor shone. 
 With porters standing all around. 
 For which their presence held them bound ; 
 The Devil seated on his chair. 
 And waiting for the debonair 
 That vice does unto virtue pay, 
 Sometimes in this and then that way. 
 Appeared most anxious in the mien 
 To show his wrath and vent his spleen. 
 And wreak revenge still more complete 
 By making each one kiss his feet. 
 And should one fail at call of roll 
 He'd turn the searchlight on their soul, 
 By which he'd scrutinize the mind. 
 Their very thoughts of every kind ; 
 And should his mind take such a turn 
 He'd freeze them stiff and then he'd burn. 
 He'd pour hot embers on their head 
 Until their souls seemed burning red; 
 116 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAINS 
 
 And further still to show his gall, 
 Cry, "Next time answer to your call/' 
 The portals now were opened wide, 
 And millions came from every side; 
 For all the Devil had to do 
 Was but to will, and all Hell knew 
 As well as he did his desire ; 
 Through instinct this they all acquire. 
 When all was ready you'd suppose. 
 Then his infernal anger rose. 
 And most unbearable the din 
 When all gave vent to rage within. 
 The very atmosphere turned blue 
 And every moment darker grew. 
 Until the flames rolled mountain high. 
 As if at times they'd lick the sky. 
 It seemed we now were at the worst, 
 As peal on peal would at us burst, - 
 And fiery darts around us curl 
 Until our brain would fairly whirl. 
 And every nerve would in us burn 
 At what we saw and heard by turn. 
 To better vent his boundless rage 
 And show himself upon the stage 
 117 
 
SKID AND 1 
 
 He foamed and fretted, each in turn, 
 To hold spell-bound the whole concern, 
 And render each an imbecile 
 Or bedlamite to do his will. 
 And then he spoke, at least in part, 
 In words that made us fairly start. 
 At me direct he pitched his spite 
 Until my lips turned milky white. 
 For I the spokesman was, I said. 
 And I the course thus far had led. 
 That Skid was older and much bigger. 
 In Hell, remember, cuts no figure; 
 Then rising up, all Hell arose ; 
 He wiped the drippings from his nose. 
 And then began, "Pray, who art thou. 
 Before such angry gods to bow? 
 Why comest though here in blood and llesh 
 To violate my laws afresh? 
 Establishing a precedent 
 And thus become a resident, 
 As I suppose ; but in my school 
 'No flesh nor blood shall break my rule ; 
 I'll curse the laws by which they breathe, 
 A flame of fire I'll round thee wreathe. 
 118 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAINS 
 
 flesh of woman! Fiend of earth, 
 ril curse thy very place of birth, 
 I'll stop not till I curse the hour 
 
 When you were born to challenge my power, 
 
 1 know my power and know it well ; 
 I'll drench your soul in burning Hell, 
 And though you gnash your teeth and wail, 
 My laws must here and will prevail, 
 And by the Earth where first you trod 
 I'll be your master, not your God; 
 
 And should I spare thee, then 'tis well 
 That thou should serve me here in Hell. 
 The likes of this has been unknown. 
 Since here I've ruled upon this throne; 
 And I shall vindicate my cause 
 And promulgate more rigid laws. 
 Arise and stand, inmates of Hell, 
 And help my countless ranks to swell ! 
 Survey them there and meditate 
 What here is sure to be thy fate 
 Unless thee here should condescend 
 To serve me mutely to the end. 
 Till Earth shall pass and Heaven fail. 
 And in the end my laws prevail. 
 119 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 Give heed^ I tell thee^ act in haste, 
 For here there is no time to waste ; 
 And should thee dare procrastinate 
 I'll then exhaust the laws of fate, 
 Though all of Hell I must combine 
 To win a point so Justly mine. 
 At once I bid thee to decide. 
 Or from my presence ever hide. 
 But warn thee well, before thee go, 
 To answer plainly yes or no ; 
 Don^t hesitate, but make it brief, 
 And take thy choice, death or relief, 
 And tell me, too, in Hades' name. 
 By what authority thou came 
 And entered here within these walls. 
 Or crossed the threshold of these halls? 
 And here I'll condescend to tell 
 Your flesh can not survive in Hell, 
 And that there's no provision made 
 For flesh and blood to make a raid. 
 In bold defiance of my right. 
 As Lord of Hell, and Prince of Night, 
 Hence to the flesh we can't attend 
 Unless our laws we should amend, 
 120 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAINS 
 
 Or fix a vault or storage room 
 As one youVe seen, as I presume ; 
 And now if thee will not obey 
 I'll try thy case another way. 
 I'll then appoint a council strong 
 To try thy case and judge thy wrong, 
 And in full court thou may explain 
 The case that follows in thy train, 
 And how thee dare to aggravate 
 Or call in question my estate. 
 Though little matters what the court 
 May do, or what be thy report. 
 For I decree that thou shalt burn. 
 And not to dust again return. 
 For unto me was power given 
 As infinite as 'twas in Heaven, 
 And all the powers of Earth combined 
 Can't help thy case nor change my mind. 
 As 'twas on Earth, so here in form 
 I guide the whirlwinds and the storm; 
 Great tempests follow in my train 
 And mighty rocks I rend in twain. 
 The mighty eartliquake and cyclone 
 Are but the mutterings from my throne; 
 121 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 Likewise the waves upon the sea 
 Are all impelled to follow me. 
 Then must I, like the heathen, rave, 
 Or bow thus mutely to a slave, 
 Who here by chance has come alone 
 And dares attack me on my throne ? 
 No, sir, I think you now can see 
 The power that here was given me ; 
 Or rather I assume the role 
 To curse mankind and try their soul/ 
 
 122 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 CHAPTER VIII 
 
 THE MILLS GRIND SLOW BUT SURE THE DEVIL IS 
 
 NO RESPECTER OE PERSONS HE DECLARES HIM- 
 SELF THE COURT OF LAST RESORT WE ENTER- 
 TAINED THE EVIL THOUGHTS OF OUR OWN FREE 
 WILL^ AND NOW WE HAVE NO CHOICE IN THE 
 
 MATTER OUR PRESENCE IN HELL IS POSITIVE 
 
 PROOF OF OUR WRONGS^ AND WE MUST SUFFER 
 
 UNTJL WE CAST OFF ALL ERRORS MAN's DESTINY 
 
 REVEALED. 
 
 "How dare thee, then, sucli ground to trod. 
 Or why j^rovoke an angry god ? 
 T rule supreme o'er realms infernal 
 And stamp to death all else eternal, 
 And though the mills are grinding slow, 
 I'll please myself in Hell below ; 
 I'm no respecter of mankind, 
 As thou are destined soon to find. 
 A rule coeval in the case 
 Of Adam and of all his race, 
 133 
 
SKID A^sTD T 
 
 And one from which I'll not be driven 
 
 By all the force of Earth and Heaven. 
 
 Thee came here of thy own accord. 
 
 And for tJiy presence, I, thy lord, 
 
 Will in tlie futnre thee convince 
 
 That I'm thy ruler and thy prince. 
 
 It's not a choice with thee to-day; 
 
 On Earth thee bartered that away; 
 
 On Earth all sacred laws divine 
 
 Thee broke, and worshipped at my shrine. 
 
 Thee feigned to serve the 'Lord of Earth,' 
 
 But of a fact served me from birth ; 
 
 Thy parents there thee disobeyed 
 
 And with ingratitude them paid. 
 
 Then in a way that pleased thee best. 
 
 And here thy presence tells the rest; 
 
 And well it is for those who may 
 
 Such sacred laws thus disobey. 
 
 And since you've broke your parent's laws. 
 
 You here in Hell demur your cause. 
 
 With emphasis, I'll say again, 
 
 I have no peace to make with man ; 
 
 Hence, reconcile thy stubborn fate, 
 
 Since once thee entered at my gate. 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAINS 
 
 ^"ow heed this well and don't forget, 
 Yon must, and will, obey me yet. 
 xA.nd while my words I'll not repeat, 
 You'll both be glad to kiss my feet. 
 To kneel and worship at my shrine. 
 To praise me and my concubine, 
 As all the imps in Hell have done. 
 Since here in Hell their course begun; 
 Nor will you, then, my laws defy. 
 Much less presume to ask me why; 
 You then will smile at what I say 
 And every word and thought obey." 
 This said, the Devil disappeared 
 And every imp around us cheered 
 And clapped their hands in seeming joy 
 And did their best to us annoy ; 
 And for a time it's just to say 
 The last fond hope had ebbed away ; 
 We knew the errors of the past 
 And saw the future plainly cast. 
 Predestined now we saw our fate, 
 For we had grown to man's estate. 
 And freely all the world we'd give 
 Our few short years again to live. 
 125 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 Wo saw as man ne'er saw before 
 The imps of Hell in all their gore; 
 We saw the destiny of man 
 Since Adam lived and time began; 
 We saw the weakness of our race, 
 And every imprint on each face; 
 As plain as day we saw each one 
 And all the wrongs that they had done. 
 We saw mnch more than tongue could tell. 
 Here pictured in this fancied Hell; 
 We saw emblazoned on the rolls 
 Of Hell self-martyred human souls; 
 Saw every wrong and every act, 
 For strange it is, it is a fact 
 That every wrong that one has done 
 Can here be seen by every one ; 
 And every one in Hell can read 
 The every act and every deed, 
 And every thought and every word 
 That every imp did, said or heard. 
 Each thought in life you entertain 
 Upon your soul is written plain. 
 Hence all you meet here, friends or foe. 
 Your whole past life they quickly know; 
 126 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 As well youM try to hide the sun 
 As here conceal the wrongs you've done, 
 Or try to drink the ocean dry 
 As here the laws of fate defy. 
 Or disobey the laws of fates. 
 For God it is, not man, creates. 
 And this is true of what we saw. 
 And not mere version of the law. 
 For instinct teaches what I write. 
 And not my fancy, honors bright; 
 My aim is higher in my story 
 Than after death to win vain glory, 
 For as I see it, so I teach it. 
 Though in my fancy now I preach it. 
 And further on I shall explain 
 What now almost befogs my brain ; 
 But if my readers care to know 
 How things are managed here below, 
 Then read, and you will not regret 
 The lesson you will surely get 
 Of every nook and every turn 
 Of Satan and the whole concern. 
 Now, terror might have ruled supreme. 
 And what to do liave been the theme, 
 127 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 But while surrounded here by sin 
 A better spirit ruled within, 
 Which pressed us forth to do our best 
 And trust in God to do the rest. 
 Thus pressed by courage in the right. 
 We now determined for the fight, 
 And though a deadly war should rage, 
 We, single-handed, would engage 
 Our spirit foes with all our might. 
 Through countless years and darkest night ; 
 For God has told us in His book 
 In times of trouble to Him look. 
 And He would burdens not impose 
 Too strong for us to meet our foes. 
 Our mothers taught as mothers can 
 The great Eedeemer's love for man, 
 And thus encouraged on the way, 
 We almost longed to meet the fray. 
 N"o longer plaintive as before. 
 For fears we entertained no more ; 
 Experience had us both inspired 
 With confidence, so much required 
 To furnish us with steady nerve. 
 To face our foe without reserve. 
 128 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 To fight the battle on this line, 
 Of Satan and his concubine. 
 For burnished arms we have no need, 
 Nor armor plate, all will concede; 
 For it is "principle," we learn, 
 That causes worlds in space to turn. 
 One thing we learned, and learned it well, 
 With all our ups and downs in Hell. 
 It's this, we're flesh, a myth is he, 
 By trusting God we'd yet be free. 
 At first they danced three million strong, 
 Then in derision sang a song; 
 And then, in turn, they cursed our name 
 Until our minds were all afiame ; 
 And then the bacchanalian farce. 
 Unbounded, still resumed its course, 
 When quiet reigned again within. 
 As if disgusted at the din ; 
 Then I again the spokesman was 
 To plead what seemed a hopeless cause. 
 Without preliminaries long, 
 I thus began to chant my song : 
 "Your Satan's majesty before, 
 I here address you on this floor; 
 129 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 I'd like to know what wrong we've done, 
 
 If law and equity arc one? 
 
 And if they're not, then will you tell 
 
 What rule you practice here in Hell, 
 
 What modus here you have, in short. 
 
 In this, your court of last resort? 
 
 If you should take the Eule of Three, 
 
 Why then, sir, we shall quitch agree. 
 
 But if you sliould hy choice prefer 
 
 The Golden Rule, then we'll concur, 
 
 For that is bound to prove most fair 
 
 On Earth, in Hell, and everywhere ; 
 
 If so agreed, then let's pursue 
 
 A steady course and grind it through; 
 
 And if so, then, sir, we'll submit 
 
 For you upon the throne to sit. 
 
 And if you'll not to that consent, 
 
 I'd like to know then what you meanl 
 
 In raising such a fiendish noise. 
 
 Or why molest two harmless boys? 
 
 The saying I'll repeat again. 
 
 That right is right and wrongs no man. 
 
 And here by force if it should fail, 
 
 Then in the end it will prevail ; 
 
 i;jo 
 
THE DEVIL IX OHAIXS 
 
 And when it does, mark well its force, 
 For you will then have run your course, 
 And Hell will fail and Heaven win. 
 And you no longer rule in sin. 
 The cold, dark grave will then, it's said, 
 Most gladly render up its dead ; 
 The lion by the lamb will lie, 
 And all will praise the (lod on high. 
 We're here it's true, by right of birth, 
 Of flesh and blood we came from Earth ; 
 But why we're here is hard to tell. 
 For such a thing seems strange in Hell. 
 x\nd while we know not what abide us. 
 Yet this we do know, God will guide us 
 And lead us on to liberty, 
 Beyond your power, and make us free. 
 If we obey His sacred law, 
 Which in His wisdom He foresaw, 
 And told us in His blessed word, 
 Which you as well as we have heard; 
 And more than that, there are but few 
 Who know His Word as well as you. 
 And did you not, 'tis plainly seen. 
 You'd lose at least full half your spleen, 
 131 
 
SKID AXD I 
 
 iind all your trencliant cup of woe 
 Would shortly cease to overflow 
 And curse mankind from sense to soul, 
 From sun to sun, from pole to pole ; 
 Though few there he who know so well 
 The nothingness there is in Hell, 
 The nothingness of you, foul heast, 
 To all but mortal mind, at least. 
 Both Hell and Heaven, I've said hefore, 
 Is a condition, nothing more. 
 As for location, 'tis absurd, 
 Tis not so stated in God's Word, 
 But peace and harmony are one. 
 With God the Father and the Son. 
 We Heaven find in peace of mind. 
 And this the Savior has defined." 
 At this still more enraged he grew 
 And took a form upon him new ; 
 With seven heads he now appeared, 
 And all the imps around him jeered. 
 On every head two horns he wore, 
 With cloven feet he trod the floor; 
 His eyes across were full three feet. 
 His nose and chin would almost meet, 
 133 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 His every hair all seemed to swell 
 As if they had a tale to tell. 
 His bifurcated tongue Avould dart, 
 Enough to make one fairly start. 
 His teeth were full three feet in length, 
 And every fibre showed his strength. 
 In every outline of his face 
 Was seen the curses of our race. 
 His eyeballs ever rolled about, 
 First turning in, then turning out; 
 The one was black, the other green ; 
 His face was long, and lank, and lean. 
 And as for hair, there wasn't au}^. 
 And warts upon his face were many. 
 He was a monster quadruped. 
 With tail, and fins, and claws, I said ; 
 His eyes would change in every hue. 
 Of every color known but blue; 
 And at the twinkling of his eye 
 The imps obey, nor dare ask why. 
 By times he walked upon the ground. 
 In mid-air then he waltzed around; 
 And seven tails had he and strong. 
 And seven cubits were they long, 
 133 
 
SKID AN^D 1 
 
 And lashed them strong did he and fierce, 
 Until we thought our souls he'd pierce. 
 He scratched his head, he beat his thighs, 
 He poked his fingers in his eyes; 
 He struck himself three furious blows, 
 And then in turn he blew his nose ; 
 And then to fill his trenchant cup, 
 He stood erect and all rose up. 
 This done, he seemed well satisfied, 
 And all Hell seemed to share his pride. 
 He sang, and all began to dance. 
 And stepped off in a sort of trance. 
 In part a quadruped is he, 
 In part a biped seems to be. 
 His feet are all supplied with claws 
 That come and go to suit his cause. 
 Like Texas cattle horns, they're long, 
 Like bars^ of steel, they are more strong. 
 Like two-edged swords, more sharp are they. 
 When poor, weak man becomes their prey; 
 And as it were they act their part 
 In grafting sin in every heart. 
 From early youth to ripe old age. 
 Alike the savage and the sage, 
 134 
 
THE BEYIh IN CHAINS 
 
 The simple-minded of all men, 
 He stoops to conquer now and then, 
 And in his ranks are men most proud, 
 Who prayed in public long and loud. 
 But seldom did in secret pray. 
 Because they mean not what they say. 
 He higher now majestic rose 
 And lashed his sides with furious blows, 
 While from his nostrils fierce there rolls 
 A liquid flame of ember coals ; 
 And burning brimstone at white heat 
 Flows down his sides from head to feet. 
 And with his awful fiery tongue 
 He sends a dart to every one. 
 At every breath he changed his form. 
 As lightning leads the thunder storm. 
 He seemed to penetrate our mind, 
 And every weakness there to find, 
 While every crevice seemed a voice, 
 That made the pits of Hell rejoice; 
 And awful fumes rolled mountain high 
 And seemed to mingle with the sky. 
 Which passed conception of mankind 
 And proved a menace to our mind. 
 135 
 
SKID AXD I 
 
 I can't express nor you surmise 
 Here how one feels to hear the cries 
 Of those we knew and loved the same, 
 Here wrapped in this infernal flame 
 Of wreathing, writhing, hurning fire, 
 Which, at each breath, rolls higher and higher. 
 Until the very welkins ring. 
 And thunders roll and planets swing 
 From side to side, from shore to shore, 
 A sight once seen to see no more ; 
 And should an eye it twice behold, 
 As once was said, would turn to mold. 
 The suffering here is so intense. 
 The span of time seems so immense. 
 That they appeal unto your heart; 
 They beg of you to take their part ; 
 They plead their cause, they state their case. 
 With blood perspiring from their face. 
 Their very face bespeaks their feeling. 
 They scringe, they scream, they cry while kneel- 
 ing. 
 They beg of Him, but beg in vain, 
 Then sink beneath their awful pain; 
 
 136 
 
THE DEVIL I^ CHAINS 
 
 And when at last they all submit. 
 Complacently he speaks of it. 
 He tells them that they all did well 
 And that they yet shall reign in Hell; 
 At which they all appear mnch pleased. 
 In hopes his vengeance is appeased. 
 But I must stop, if not too late, 
 And of our progress more relate, 
 For should I linger in this strain, 
 I fear I^d wreck my very brain. 
 In hugger-mugger sort of style 
 They rested yet a little while. 
 And then the Devil offered truce, 
 And we applied it to good use. 
 Or would have done, if left alone. 
 But when the Devil left the throne 
 Another hideous foe appears. 
 Insults our woes, derides our tears, 
 Then further stoops iu da in disgrace 
 And tried in vain to slap our face. 
 But run like puppies for his life 
 When Skid produced his l)arlow knife. 
 He hied into a secret place, 
 Then mockingly ]ie offered grace, 
 137 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 And with a show of pulchritude, 
 With piping voice, he said, "the dude," 
 Which so much angered Skid afresh 
 That he declared he would him thresh, 
 x\nd in his anger made a dare 
 To fight it out on footings fair. 
 Said he: "Come out, you dirty cur, 
 And if you dare to meet me, sir, 
 I'll slap your jaws, I'll punch your face, 
 I'll teach you, sir, to keep your place 
 And not insult a man like that. 
 Because he comes here from Wild Cat, 
 The proudest stream that flows on Earth, 
 Where Nature stooped to give us birth. 
 And milk and honey almost flows 
 And everything in Nature grows." 
 The Devil seems, and all his hosts, 
 A set of cowards, to say the most. 
 And runs away to parts unknown 
 When Justice sits upon the throne. 
 They next advised us to take hold 
 Of what tliey knew was wrong tenfold, 
 And would have caused ns endless woes. 
 And changed our friends to deadly foes, 
 138 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAINS 
 
 If we had listened to their plea. 
 In hopes to gain our liberty. 
 They argued much with eloquence, 
 And warned us of the consequence, 
 And of the perils, not a few. 
 If such a course we should pursue. 
 Their eloquence was long and loud. 
 Reciting records great and proud; 
 But while they talked from sun to sun. 
 Their whole conclusion seemed as one. 
 ^Twas this, at least, as I perceive, 
 To flatter us and make believe. 
 Upon our part, that it was right. 
 To homage pay the Prince of Night. 
 But while contending thus in vain 
 Still more confused became our brain. 
 And what we saw is hard to tell. 
 For every place we looked was Hell, 
 With demons near, and demons far, 
 Discordant tongues and mingled war; 
 With rich and gaudy robes in strife, 
 It seemed the very rocks were rife 
 With human blood and human goal. 
 From center to dividing pole. 
 139 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 Through endless space it seemed to creejD, 
 Much deeper than the deepest deep^ 
 Until our souls could scarce contain 
 The scenes of sorrow and of pain. 
 Much darker than the darkest hour, 
 All seemed spell-bound in Satan's power. 
 And like a vice that holds them fast, 
 In tumult rolls from first to last ; 
 All peace forsakes the soul-cursed field, 
 And face to face the tempters yield 
 With vicious hate, the altars turn. 
 And Satan rules the whole concern. 
 It little matters where is he. 
 He omnipresent seems to be. 
 And omnipresent, as I said, 
 He's with the living and the dead. 
 On Earth, in Hell, and all around. 
 Since Adam fell he may be found 
 In every pluise of human kind ; 
 He seems to lead, but leads the blind. 
 As once he tried upon the mount, 
 He leads mankind to l)ad account. 
 And when admitted in the heart 
 His cunning always does its part; 
 140 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAINS 
 
 His victims always may be found 
 In prison walls in fetters bound. 
 The first whose soul bore such a stain 
 The Bible says was poor old Cain, 
 Who to the Devil once gave way, 
 And did his brother Abel slay. 
 Nor that^s not all of Satan's school, 
 Nor all who bow beneath his rule, 
 For in the tippler's cup he dwells. 
 And in such places he excels. 
 In every phase of life, in fact, 
 A willing tool is he to act, 
 Though cunning as he is, indeed, 
 He stoops to satisfy his greed ; 
 And stooping, conquers in the end, 
 And all mankind he'd have descend 
 To regions dark, and deeper still. 
 That he might rule and have his will. 
 
 141 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 CHAPTER IX 
 
 THE TKUCE BEING BROKEN^ THIEE APPEARED AGAIN 
 
 AND OFFERED HIS ADVICE HE TALKED AT GREAT 
 
 LENGTH AND ADVISED US TO ACCEPT THE TERMS 
 OF THE DEVIL^ AND ASSURED US THAT IT IS NOT 
 
 SO BAD WHEN FAIRLY UNDERSTOOD HE BECAME 
 
 VERY ANGRY WHEN REMINDED OF THE WRONGS OF 
 
 HIS PAST LIFE THE DEVIL DISAPPEARS^ AND FOR 
 
 A FEW MOMENTS ALL IS IN TOTAL DARKNESS 
 
 SHORTLY AFTER HIS DEPARTURE THE QUEEN AP- 
 PEARED UPON THE THRONE AND MARCHES THE 
 IMPS IN GRAND PARADE. 
 
 The truce alluded to was broken, 
 Although to us he'd never spoken, 
 And storms of shell in hot haste fly, 
 And clashing darts obscure the sky, 
 Invincible upon the whole. 
 Though all was meant to curse the soul. 
 While thus surrounded as we were, 
 And ill at ease, as you'd infer, 
 U2 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAINS 
 
 Our neighbor Thief the silence broke, 
 And thus, in part, to us he spoke: 
 'My friends of Earth, you're with the dead. 
 And why, my brothers, will you tread 
 The fields of warfare here alone, 
 While battled hosts possess the throne ? 
 Invincible, as you must see. 
 And in the end you'll conquered ])e. 
 Hence, mark my words, and mark them well; 
 And better you will fare in Hell. 
 Be wise and here no longer stand 
 Against this grand imposing band. 
 Your gallantry there's none that doubt, 
 It's quite surpassing all without, 
 But here within it's different still; 
 Resign your mask and do his will, 
 And if you do you'll both be free. 
 And that is fair, it seems to me. 
 In point of years you're young as yet, 
 But for the past you shouldn't fret ; 
 Remember this, 'twill do you good; 
 I love you both as neighbors should. 
 You know, and I remember well, 
 How mother often used to tell 
 143 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 Me in her kind and simple way, 
 The trouble I would see some day, 
 And how IVl think of what she said 
 When she was numbered with the dead ; 
 And how she'd pray as mothers can 
 That I might be a better man, 
 And how she'd wipe her weeping eyes 
 And plead for God to hear her cries, 
 And answer them as pleased Him best 
 Before her soul should go to rest. 
 And father, much more stubborn though, 
 Would read a chapter, too, or so. 
 Of how infallible he thought, 
 Of what was right and what was not, 
 And told me what was sure to be. 
 And what would surely happen me 
 If I continued, as I'd been, 
 To tread the downward road of sin. 
 But we were young, both you and I, 
 And little cared and didn't try 
 To please our parents as we should. 
 Say what they might, do what they would. 
 We then were men in embryo. 
 And now we're spirits here below, 
 144 
 
THE DEVIL IX CHAINS 
 
 And what we've gained or what we've lost, 
 We'll never know by counting cost. 
 In counting loss and profit here 
 You'd lose ten thousandfold a year, 
 And that's not all, nor half you'd lose, 
 If such a course you here should choose. 
 For things of Earth have passed away, 
 And all who come here come to stay ; 
 And all is different, we'll admit, 
 And when I come to think of it, 
 I care but little, it is true, 
 And I presume it's so with you. 
 You will, I'm sure, when here a while. 
 And learn the Devil and his style. 
 For it is not so bad, for all. 
 If we at once obey his call. 
 At first you'll think you'd rather die. 
 But do his will and don't ask why, 
 Nor call in question what he may 
 Or may not do in any way ; 
 For such has been his lot from birth. 
 Since man was forced to till the Earth. 
 And as in holy writ it's said, 
 By sweat of face to eat his ])rend ; 
 145 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 But you, it seems, did not resign 
 Your coat of flesh as I did mine, 
 And you can tell me why it is. 
 In this dominion here of his, 
 That you should come here as you do. 
 In flesh and blood, and spirit, too; 
 And don't you think it might be best 
 To be at once like all the rest, 
 And here resume a spirit life. 
 And lay aside all worldly strife? 
 Though worldly strife I scarcely mean, 
 For here I'm sure you both have seen 
 That Earth to Earth, upon the whole, 
 Was never written for the soul; 
 Though dust to dust on earth it was 
 To serve a sanitary cause. 
 Tliough other reasons might be given. 
 On Earth and in the courts of Heaven. 
 And then besides there is a place 
 For every member of our race 
 Who chanced to come here as you did, 
 For instance, there — well, I'm forbid 
 To tell the names of those you saw, 
 Much less elucidate the law 
 146 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 Of how, or when, or whence they came, 
 Or what on Earth had been their name. 
 You^ll understand it all in time, 
 And thus you answer for the crime 
 Of coming here as you have done. 
 And others, too, since time begun. 
 When this is done at once you'll find 
 That all within will be more kind; 
 The Prince of Darkness, in his wrath, 
 Will place you in a smoother path. 
 If you enlist to do his will 
 And pledge yourself to serve him still ; 
 And if you don't and take your course. 
 Then he'll subdue you by sheer force. 
 And that will be so much the worse. 
 For triple-linked will be the curse. 
 Besides, the friends within this sphere 
 Would please your fancy much to hear; 
 There's one who here you twice have met. 
 And frequently you'll meet her yet. 
 And one whose face you'd recognize 
 If it were not for her disguise. 
 Now this I've said in honor bright. 
 Because I want to serve you right ; 
 l-i? 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 In short, I want to be your friend, 
 And labor only to that end. 
 And now I'll bid you both adieu, 
 And kindly I'll remember you/' 
 "Well, now," said I, "that sounds most fair ; 
 You seem in earnest, I declare ; 
 Upon my word you do, indeed. 
 To that, at least, we both concede. 
 They're words of wisdom, I am sure. 
 But are they not most premature? 
 The blind could scarcely lead the blind. 
 But every tree brings forth its kind; 
 And Hell, I'm sure, is not the place 
 To meet the fallen of our race. 
 To form a plot, a sort of trick. 
 To please the Devil and his clique, 
 The inspiration he provides, 
 x\nd you perform as he decides ; 
 And though we've known you long and well 
 We must resent you here in Hell, 
 And here no matter what you do, 
 We have no further use for you. 
 For do you think we'd be so rash 
 x\s here accept such l)alderdash, 
 148 
 
THE DEVIL IlSr CHAINS 
 
 Such vain illusions of the mind, 
 Such twittle-twattle of the kind ? 
 In ethics, sir, I'll break a rule 
 By plainly calling you a fool ; 
 From time of birth you were a curse, 
 And here in Hell you're even worse ; 
 You here assume the Devil's role, 
 And pleased you'd be to curse our soul 
 And drive us lower, lower still. 
 That you might rule and rule at will. 
 No matter what you have acquired 
 In Hell, by Truth you're not inspired, 
 Nor will we it with you discuss. 
 Because your life is known by us, 
 And if you further still insist. 
 By force we then will you resist. 
 And though you marshal millions strong, 
 We'll still resist your motley throng. 
 And though the victory we have earned. 
 We cherish dearly all we've learned. 
 And though dark clouds portend a storm. 
 We cater not in any form 
 To what you do nor what you say, 
 Tjet the results be what they may. 
 149 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 You first recited at great length 
 A mother's love, a mother's strength, 
 A mother's ardent zeal and love, 
 A mother's hope to meet above, 
 A mother's kiss, a mother's prayer, 
 A mother's tears, a mother's care; 
 And let me add, a mother's boy. 
 Who might have been a mother^s joy. 
 And dwelt at home in peace of mind. 
 With parents and with all mankind. 
 That we were young we don't deny. 
 Though you much older were than I, 
 But as for that we'll not contend. 
 You've naught to offer nor commend. 
 And this I learned while yet in school, 
 And I accept it as a rule. 
 That Tray was punished till he wept. 
 Because bad company he kept; 
 And it applies as well to-day. 
 In our case, as it did for Tray. 
 Eemember this, I've said it twice, 
 We never asked you for advice; 
 N'or do we it intend to take, 
 Let follow what may in our wake. 
 150 
 
THE DEYIL m CHAINS 
 
 We know the modus of your rule ; 
 We know the teachings of your school, 
 We know the folly of your course, 
 At home on earth and here by force. 
 We knew you as a bold adult. 
 But how you dare us thus insult, 
 Would be a mystery, but we know 
 The Devil rules all things below. 
 And in the flowing of his breech. 
 You stoop his cunning laws to teach. 
 To illustrate your case in Hell, 
 I'll draw a single parallel : 
 A rich man drove once from his door. 
 Poor Laz'rus, hungry, lame and sore. 
 He only asked for crumbs of bread. 
 Which to his dogs the rich man fed. 
 The rich man scorned him with disdain. 
 His plea for bread was all in vain. 
 'Tis said for him the dogs did feel. 
 And licked his sores that they might lieaL 
 In after years with gulf between. 
 By faith we find a different scene. 
 The rich man when in mueli torment. 
 To Lazarus a plea he seni. 
 151 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 A plea from him at last was wrung, 
 For Lazarus to cool his tongue; 
 But all in vain^ 'twas quite too late, 
 The poor were driven from his gate, 
 And for his perfidy we find 
 The penalty of mortal mind. 
 If we should listen to your plea, 
 Then we should suffer just like he. 
 Nor could we offer a complaint, 
 Not as a sinner nor a saint, 
 For it is justice, as we find, 
 In Truth the blind don't lead the blind. 
 The parallel, for such it is. 
 Between your wretched life and his. 
 Is fairly drawn in every way. 
 Though reconcile it as you may. 
 And in conclusion, Neighbor Thief, 
 You've naught to offer us but grief. 
 Then go your way, don't bother us. 
 Your wicked life has made it thus. 
 For should we listen or comply, 
 With what you say then we would die. 
 And be transposed as others were; 
 We'll not comply, you dirty cur." 
 152 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAmS 
 
 Well now/' said Thief, "did you say that 
 Two mossljacks coming from Wild Cat, 
 Or, two mere urchins, I should say, 
 Are here trespassing in this way ? 
 (Stars and garters, mud and Avater, 
 Old King Cole, and Eadway's daughter; 
 Holy smoke, and ginger ale. 
 Bedbugs riding on a snail ; 
 Eaccoons baked into a pie. 
 Comets sailing through the sky; 
 Dogs and monkeys on a spree; 
 Tell me, sir, how that can be. 
 Cats and kittens, ducks and geese, 
 Warfare still on the increase ; 
 Save your breath, and spare your head), 
 Until we hear what more you've said. 
 (Jimson-weeds and cockle-bur. 
 When did all of that occur?) 
 On my escutcheon that's a stain, 
 And it almost befogs my brain 
 To hear such words of wisdom come, 
 In fact, it almost strikes me dumb. 
 And have you nothing more to tell? 
 Why you've forgotten you're in Hell, 
 153 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 x\ncl possibly you don't yet know^ 
 The course of treatment here below. 
 It's not a homeopathic dose, 
 Nor is it counted by the gross. 
 Nor by the double rule of three ; 
 And for the Golden Rule, you see. 
 Is never entered on the roll. 
 To please a man nor try his soul. 
 But time alone the tale can tell. 
 If here you run your course in Hell. 
 And now I've. little more to say. 
 But mark my words, as well you may, 
 I'll have revenge for what you've said, 
 I'll haunt your steps among the dead. 
 I'll call the potent powers of Hell 
 To wreak what you deserve so well. 
 I serve you warning once for all. 
 Upon your belly you shall crawl. 
 And homage pay me, o'er and o'er. 
 Ten thousand years, ten thousand more. 
 And though disguised, I am, you'll find. 
 The adversary of mankind. 
 The foe malignant, as I be. 
 Of all mankind, you yet shall see 
 154 
 
THE DEVIL I^T CHAINS 
 
 That he who dares my hiws defy, 
 Is tooth for tooth, and eye for eye. 
 iVnd by the powers of Hell I swear, 
 My wrath for you I'll never spare. 
 I'm not the man whom once you knew; 
 I represented him, it's true. 
 But by the flowing of my gall 
 You yet shall answer to my call." 
 Thus said departed Neighbor Thief, 
 Which would have given much relief; 
 But now the Devil took the case, 
 Or stepped into the neighbor's place, 
 And threw aside the mask he wore 
 Of Neighbor Thief, a point to score. 
 And I'll admit that this is true 
 (And my experience proves it, too). 
 That when the Devil gets his dues 
 (If you'll excuse the phrase I use), 
 I'd rather take him at his worth. 
 Than all the hypocrites on Earth. 
 For though the Devil as he is, 
 And ruling all in Hell as his, 
 I'd rather in his chamber sit. 
 Than deal with some base hypocrite, 
 155 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 For if you with tiic Devil deal, 
 Yoifll know exactly how you feel; 
 Besides, you'll know just where you're "at/' 
 Thougii born as we were, on Wild Cat. 
 Mark this: from him youll never find 
 An easy task of any kind. 
 In which he rules, or has his way. 
 Go where you will, do what you may ; 
 And by no means the least on Earth, 
 Where first his cunning had its birth. 
 It don't bespeak a pleasant task. 
 As in the warm sunshine to bask. 
 And bathe your limbs, and rest your joints, 
 Upon that platform make your points. 
 No sir, indeed, too cunning quite, 
 He never sleeps by day nor night. 
 At least, we've never found him thus, 
 But always found him watching us. 
 In short, I think he's everywhere. 
 Except in Heaven, he's not there ; 
 And even in that sacred shrine 
 He once appeared through laws divine. 
 But Vice and Virtue can't agree, 
 Vice showed its hand, and so did he, 
 156 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAINS 
 
 x\nrl as a coiisequeiice lie fell^ 
 And over since lie's ruled in Hell. 
 And not in Hell alone, I find, 
 But holds communion with mankind, 
 For had he not, we had not been 
 Here held to pay the wage of sin. 
 Let that sufhce for what he did, 
 But what he will do, God forbid. 
 And now the Devil in the fray. 
 To pass his soul-cursed time away. 
 And as it were a vantage gain, 
 That almost paralyzed our brain. 
 And struck us dumb at every turn, 
 To view the change in the concern, 
 Without delay makes hasty flight. 
 And leaves it all in darkest night. 
 The darkness so oppressive was 
 That we could scarce divine its cause. 
 But darkness didn't last so long, 
 As one might think in such a throng. 
 But soon appeared upon the throne, 
 Not made of flesh nor yet of bone, 
 Invincible (if such a thing 
 Can be as Satan's own offspring), 
 157 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 His own protege, as by consent 
 (Or so, at least, the story went). 
 A warrior new, a laden queen. 
 To guide the storm and paint the scene, 
 Upon her throne, the first she did. 
 Was size us up with scorn amid 
 The howling, jeering, fiendish horde. 
 That there assembled round her board. 
 The worst of demons there we saw ; 
 Base violators of God's law. 
 Condemned at will, gangrene at heart, 
 In every act they took a part. 
 At every breath they cursed at will, 
 Succeeding breaths cursed louder still, 
 Until we almost felt their weight, 
 Would fill our cup and seal our fate. 
 Then came these words, as ne'er before, 
 And hope they never will come more : 
 '0, fallen man ! Depraved of Hell ! 
 It's hard your story here to tell, 
 But duty prompts me this to do. 
 That all the world may pity you. 
 And know your suffering and your strife. 
 That they may live a better life," 
 158 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAINS 
 
 The queen, in her exalted wa}-, 
 Whom all the imps of Hell obey, 
 Acquits herself in queenly style, 
 And holds to view her own profile. 
 She castigates all else beside. 
 And bubbles over with self-pride. 
 Bespeaks her actions what she feels 
 When countless millions to her kneel. 
 And then to show, her latent power. 
 She further drills them by the hour. 
 And not b}^ word of mouth, but by 
 The twinkle of her cunning eye. 
 Predestined thus to do her will. 
 They read her mind and serve her still, 
 For instinct teaches them to know. 
 Just where and when she'd have them go; 
 And when by turn to fall in line. 
 And when to worship at her shrine ; 
 And then to close her grand parade, 
 Ten millions more came to her aid. 
 And they were trusted imps of Hell, 
 Whose names I could, but will not tell. 
 No thought of fears she entertains, 
 But firmly at her post remains ; 
 159 
 
SKID AND 1 
 
 Regardless of the clash of arms, 
 Regardless, too, of all the harms 
 That might jjefall to such as they, 
 Who serve the Devil in their way. 
 Upon her staff, hoth lank and lean, 
 Her face much wrinkled in the mien. 
 Her cheek bones high, her eyes deep set. 
 The drippings from her nose would wet 
 A 'kerchief square eight feet or more. 
 Full thirty times in twenty-four. 
 It made us cough, and sneeze, and spit. 
 And does so yet to think of it. 
 And deeper yet her cheeks she draws. 
 With sunken eyes and angular jaws. 
 Her sunken eyes, I can't forget. 
 And cross they were, and black as Jet. 
 Her hoary hair (if hair 'twas called. 
 For 'pon my word, her head was bald) 
 Had grown so thin by dint of years 
 That we both laughed till we shed tears. 
 In fact, upon her ill-shaped head 
 Were nineteen hairs and they were red. 
 Both coarse and clumsy, as they were, 
 Much like hullrushes, you'd infer, 
 160 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 Twelve inches long, inclined to curve, 
 And each a purpose had to serve. 
 Thej seemed to hold all Hell at will, 
 And naught but evil to instill ; 
 Like sapphire shone they in daylight; 
 Like phosphorescence in the night. 
 And split they w^ere from end to end. 
 And almost break before theyM bend. 
 And in my fancy yet I swear 
 That lightning flashed from every hair. 
 Succeeding flashes wrapped in death. 
 Flash followed flash at every breath. 
 Which seemed to permeate the soul. 
 Of every one upon the roll. 
 Her nose was graced in places three. 
 With warts that were a sight to see ; 
 Their constant bleeding made them burn, 
 Which caused her highness much concern. 
 She blew the thing — her nose, I mean — 
 And then in Hell there was a scene ; 
 But to describe it in detail 
 I must desist, because IM fail. 
 Upon her head a wreath she twined, 
 Of slimy snakes of every kind; 
 161 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 Of rattlers large, and vipers small. 
 Of adders, and, in fact, of all 
 The kinds I ever saw, and more 
 Were crawling o'er her by the score. 
 And seemed to have a part to play, 
 And, in a measure, ruled the day. 
 They'd dart their tongues and hiss ]jy turn. 
 And terrorize the whole concern. 
 Her skin was rough, inclined to crack. 
 With bristles long upon her back. 
 And as we viewed her o'er and o'er. 
 She looked in part a huge wild boar. 
 A tremor came upon her cheek. 
 And rising up as if to speak. 
 She waved her hand, a brawny one, 
 As if it were by magic done. 
 Then all arose, ten millions strong, 
 And by her eye they marched along, 
 Until she stops, they stop as well. 
 And she reviews the gods of Hell. 
 Some pertinent remarks she made. 
 In lining up the grand parade. 
 And bringing tliem to what they were, 
 Tliough all in mind, as you'd infer. 
 162 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 Although a substance they must be, 
 And lose not their identity, 
 With queenly joride she views the throng, 
 And then to cheer them sings a song. 
 She chants the chorus o'er and o'er, 
 At least ten thousand times or more. 
 Like this, "I'm reigning Queen of Hell, 
 And have been so since Adam fell, 
 I make the imps of Hell obey. 
 And homage pay me every day. 
 Tra la! Tra lo! Tra le ! I tell 
 You I'm the reigning queen of Hell !" 
 A new decree she now proclaimed. 
 And for us it was plainly aimed. 
 And soon the ranks began to swell. 
 To learn the rituals of Hell. 
 Its import proved to be most tame, 
 And scarcely worthy of her name. 
 Its weakness was so plain to see. 
 That we both laughed, and so did she^ 
 Then grabbing up her drabbled clothes. 
 She wiped again her dripping nose; 
 Then blowed the devilish thing again, 
 So loud, that Skid, poor boy, began 
 163 
 
SKTD ANT) T 
 
 To look about at once to run. 
 
 But stopped before the race begun, 
 And said to me, "I shouldn't wonder 
 If that had been a clap of thunder, 
 And something awful may betide ; 
 What say you Paul?'' I thus replied: 
 ''It's plain to see, one might suppose, 
 It was the blowing of her nose. 
 And for the stench — well, for God's sake. 
 We struck it then, there's no mistake." 
 Like cheese Limburger, fresh, but old. 
 It stronger smelt, at least tenfold. 
 She had, I'm sure, if right we are 
 What doctors would pronounce "catarrh." 
 And then the stench, I don't suppose 
 They'd care that point to diagnose. 
 For should they it investigate. 
 They'd lose their wits as sure as fate. 
 Her dress — if 'twas a dress she wore — 
 She'd worn for years, I think fourscore. 
 As you'd suppose, 'twas smeared with dirt, 
 But here in Hell that doesn't hurt. 
 Her feet were bare, and furbelows 
 She wore profusely on her clothes. 
 164 
 
THE DEVIT. m CHAINS 
 
 A bustle^ too, she often wore, 
 But rather think it made her sore, 
 For it was large, or near about. 
 As flour barrels with both heads out. 
 But looked as neat in every way. 
 As those the women wear to-day. 
 Or, pardon me, they^re out of style, 
 And have been so for quite a while. 
 And well they are for womankind. 
 For they're an insult to their spine. 
 And were they born with such a thing 
 Upon them, then the air would ring 
 With lamentations from each one 
 From day to day, from sun to sun. 
 Nor would they hesitate to swear 
 That man's to blame that they are there. 
 
 161 
 
SKIT) AND I 
 
 CHAPTER X 
 
 WE ARE ENCOURAGED BY A SILENT VOICE TO CONTINUE 
 OUR COURSE AND ARE WARNED OF THE THINGS TO 
 
 BE WE ARE CAUTIONED IN REGARD TO THE MAGIC 
 
 KEY AND ASSURED THAT AT THE PROPER TIME ALL 
 WILL BE CLEAR FROM A SPIRITUAL, NOT A PHYSICAL 
 STANDPOINT. 
 
 ANOTHER^ AN EVIL THOUGHT PRESENTED ITSELF 
 AND KINDLY OFFERED HER SERVICES AND DECLARED 
 
 HER GOOD INTENTIONS TELLS OF HER FAMILIAR 
 
 KNOWLEDGE OF THE PLACE AND SPEAKS AT LENGTH 
 OF THE DEVIL^S TRAITS OF CHARACTER AND HIS IN- 
 FLUENCE OVER MANKIND SHE SWEARS HER ALLE- 
 GIANCE TO US, AND HER DESIRE TO SET US FREE 
 
 THEN SHE SUDDENLY DISAPPEARS WE ARE ALONE 
 
 AND FOR A SHORT TIME GREATLY ENCOURAGED, BUT 
 PRESENTLY, IN THE DISTANCE, WE SEE COUNTLESS 
 NUMBERS SLOWLY, BUT SURELY, APPROACHING US, 
 UNTIL WE ARE AGAIN SURROUNDED BY THE WEIRD 
 MONSTERS. 
 
 IGG 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAINS 
 
 And now what next we saw in Hell 
 It best bespeaks me not to tell. 
 But presently, if you will read, 
 I'll tell you all I know, indeed. 
 As best I can 111 then explain 
 The mental and the nervous strain ; 
 I'll tell you this, and that, as well, 
 And all the ruling powers of Hell, 
 I'll make the details just as plain 
 As they've been pictured on my brain ; 
 And if that fails to satisfy. 
 Then serve the Devil till you die. 
 And in that case the world should know it, 
 No further claim I'll make as poet. 
 But lay my muses all aside. 
 And to the world the case confide. 
 I'd not appeal to higher court, 
 Nor take offense at the report. 
 But let it go for what it's worth. 
 For such has been my lot on Earth. 
 And though I've often growled before, 
 I've now resolved to growl no more. 
 But let my case be what it will. 
 With foot and hand I'll climb the hill. 
 167 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 Now, something said, or seemed to say, 
 For 'pon my word ^twas just this way. 
 It whispered softly in onr ear. 
 In words we felt but couldn't hear, 
 Intuitively, this it said: 
 ''Take courage here among the dead. 
 And this remember and be free. 
 If you should see the magic key, 
 Don't fail to seize it on first sight, 
 And all things then may yet be right. 
 And it you'll see as sure as fate. 
 This case you'll then elucidate; 
 And things you now don't understand 
 Will face about at your command." 
 Thus said, the mystic voice was gone. 
 But warned us kindly to go on 
 And work our own salvation, and 
 In course of time we'd burst the band 
 That holds intact the courts of Hell, 
 And all the world be free as well. 
 When she had gone another came. 
 Excused herself and spoke our name. 
 Then offered to become our friend. 
 And all our sacred rights defend. 
 168 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAINS 
 
 She said she'd die to make us frec^ 
 And so in earnest seemed to be, 
 That to believe her we inclined, 
 Though soon her object I divined, 
 And told Skid so, in words but few, 
 111 brief I said "It can't be true." 
 To which he simply answered, "Well, 
 What may occur is hard to tell." 
 She a.sked no tribute, no indeed. 
 For such as that she had no need. 
 But only meant to wish us well, 
 And make us free as mice in Hell. 
 Said she: "I well appreciate 
 Your case, for hard has been your fate. 
 And anything that I can do, 
 I'll volunteer in serving yon. 
 I need no introduction here. 
 For here I read my title clear. 
 To every devil here in Hell, 
 That ever came since Adam fell, 
 Or Eve betrayed him so astute, 
 To share with her the luscious fruit. 
 Why should I not, I'd like to know, 
 A libertine be here below, 
 169 
 
SKID AND 1 
 
 When here ten thousand years I've been. 
 
 To pay the penalty for sin. 
 
 All Hell I know by metes and bounds, 
 
 Since here so long I've trod these grounds. 
 
 I've seen the Devil in his den ; 
 
 I've seen him curse the souls of men. 
 
 I've seen him at the seat of war, 
 
 When but for him 'twas uncalled for; 
 
 I've seen him meet with bosom friends. 
 
 And make foul discord serve his ends. 
 
 I've seen him in the family prayer; 
 
 In short, I've seen him everywhere. 
 
 And now believe me, what I say, 
 
 I mean to lead 3^ou not astray, 
 
 And in the course of time you'll find 
 
 That I am leading not the blind. 
 For by the fumes of Hell, I swear, 
 It's for your safety that I care; 
 That you may know the laws of right, 
 And set the realms of Hell to flight. 
 The very gods may envy me, 
 The imps of Hell may spiteful be. 
 And all within may stand aghast, 
 I'll be your friend from first to last. 
 170 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAINS 
 
 But first, said she, or it at best, 
 You'd better take a moment^s rest. 
 For you are worried much, indeed. 
 And most of all is rest you need. 
 Now I, alone, upon this coast. 
 Dare face the Devil and his host. 
 The world was new when here I came, 
 And other planets were the same, 
 And though I've suffered here so long, 
 Yet never will I lead you wrong. 
 And while you yet have much to learn, 
 You'll find me true in every turn; 
 And though you doubt me in the end, 
 I'll still be your devoted friend. 
 You here have seen me different times. 
 And like yourselves, 'twas not for crimes 
 That I committed in the past 
 That holds me here until the last 
 Fond hope of Earth, and all that's dear, 
 By Hell is cursed forever here. 
 And of a truth I wouldn't blame 
 You if you'd curse my very name. 
 Though what I've said is all too true, 
 x\lthough, you may it misconstrue; 
 171 
 
SKID ANT) I 
 
 And yhoiild you then, in that event, 
 You'll judge me false, though well I meant, 
 And curses thunder at my head/' 
 Then further still, again she said : 
 'Nor will T cater to your foes, 
 If you in me your trust repose. 
 By Virgin Mary, this I swear, 
 And more than this would not he fair. 
 But less than that might he unjust. 
 So earth to earth and dust to dust. 
 Before I would your minds despoil 
 rd swim through seas of boiling oil: 
 I'd bathe myself from head to feet 
 Ten thousand years at full white heat, 
 Instead of blood, hot streams of fire 
 May course my veins me to inspire. 
 Then let the end he what it will, 
 I must and will befriend you still." 
 The voice had gone and not a word 
 More from its lips could now be heard ; 
 And what seemed strange, as one might guess, 
 We know not whom we should address. 
 Through mystic rites it seemed to speak. 
 And sh(vr o\1inu?lion made us weak. 
 172 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAINS 
 
 It still remained to us obscure, 
 With now and then a vague contour, 
 That seemed at times to come and go, 
 Sometimes above, sometimes below, 
 Sometimes afar, sometimes near-by. 
 Till Skid grew tired and so did I. 
 And then a moment's rest we sought, 
 To give the subject better thought. 
 And thus inspired we sought to find, 
 A seat auspicious of some kind. 
 Whereon we might confer at ease, 
 And solve the problem by degrees. 
 Dear reader, think it not in vain 
 To find a seat^ for, to explain. 
 We were both human and divine. 
 As those who read perhaps will find. 
 And looking here and there around. 
 Just what we sought we shortly found. 
 And though the seat was not the best. 
 It proved a welcome place of rest. 
 Where we could sit and meditate, 
 And talk about our luckless fate. 
 We talked of many things of yore, 
 That happened round the cabin door; 
 173 
 
8KID AND I 
 
 We talked of many things in turn. 
 That reason teaches does concern 
 The readers of this simple poem, 
 Hence I'll defer till I gei home 
 To give details of what we did, 
 For I need rest and so does Skid. 
 Two hours and forty minutes full 
 With us there's been a silent lull, 
 And peace within us both has reigned, 
 And silent hopes we entertained. 
 And we conversed of home and mother; 
 He talked of one and I the other. 
 For I, indeed, no mother had 
 Since T had been the merest lad. 
 We talked a bit, and then we cried. 
 And didn't try our grief to hide; 
 But instinct taught us this belief, 
 in bitter tears there's sweet relief. 
 And sweet relief, indeed, it was, 
 A ray of hope in such a cause. 
 But why we hoped is hard to tell, 
 1*^)1' wbo h;i(l c'ci' i-('(uni('(l from Hell? 
 Not our as vet. then why should we 
 In rc;i<i)ii hope \'l'\ to l)e free, 
 174 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 Or^ why should we be so inspired? 
 ^Tis plain enough, ''God so desired." 
 Now hope was mother to the thought. 
 Our souls had been so dearly bought. 
 And everything impressed so strong 
 That we were guilty of no wrong, 
 But only did a childish act. 
 In coming as we did in fact, 
 Into this deep, dark, soul-cursed j^it. 
 With iiendish demons ruling it. 
 Lord, our Savior, us forgive. 
 That we again in peace may live. 
 And spend our time in serving Thee, 
 And hold communion with the free. 
 On Earth (predestined, I suppose). 
 My very friends turned deadly foes. 
 And when, indeed, I needed help. 
 With two-edged sword they took my scalp. 
 They envied me my own birth-right, 
 And added darkness to my night. 
 The very elements of wrong 
 For my poor soul l)ecame too strong. 
 For mind a potent jiowei- must bo. 
 Too strong for mortal man like me. 
 175 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 So I, but stop, I meant to pray. 
 And not to grumble in this way. 
 But that's the weakness of mankind, 
 Motes in his neighbor's eye to find ; 
 Such thoughts, perliaps, you'll call a droam. 
 For idle vaporings they may seem. 
 But gentle readers, every one. 
 Just think a moment, as I've done, 
 And wliile in thinking you are prone. 
 Just think yourself in Hell alone. 
 And then to prove I'm not a fool. 
 Let's see you change the stubborn rule. 
 And if from Pope I dare to quote. 
 And who than he more wisely wrote ? 
 ■'Sir, I'll accept your general rule. 
 That every poet is a fool, 
 But you yourself may serve to show it, 
 That every fool is not a poet." 
 And Shakespeare said, though often lohl. 
 That all that glitters is not gold; 
 And that in part, at least, is true. 
 If we too strictly don't construe. 
 But best of authors of to-day 
 Say that was only Shakespeare's way 
 176 
 
THE DEA^L IN CHAINS 
 
 Of telling things of every kind. 
 That were revolving in his mind. 
 And I'm content to let it pass, 
 With Pope and Shakespeare in the class. 
 And while my rulings may be wrong. 
 They give new life to every song. 
 They add much lustre in each case. 
 And bring a smile to every face. 
 I said before, we're all alone, 
 And everything seems all our own. 
 As ne'er before since starting in 
 To solve the mystic rites of sin. 
 And tap the fountain-head of crime 
 That's ruled since dawned the day of time. 
 Since ere the Earth a shadow cast. 
 And round the sun revolving past, 
 For not a single thing was seen 
 (Except ourselves, of course, I mean). 
 To guide us further in the fray. 
 Save two black objects miles away ; 
 And though no matter when or where 
 We looked, we found the objects there. 
 You've seen it thus more times than one. 
 When looking dimly at the sun, 
 177 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 And while it's not a parallel, 
 
 It illustrates it just as well 
 
 As might be done when told in verse, 
 
 Though prose might tell it even worse. 
 
 Away beyond a cloud arose 
 
 Of straggling imps, as I suppose, 
 
 Five hundred miles, or very near. 
 
 So clear was now the atmosphere. 
 
 All Hell besides seemed deadly still. 
 
 As nature ju.st at noon-day will. 
 
 And not a single breeze was felt. 
 
 Nor an offensive odor smelt. 
 
 Signs visible of any form 
 
 Portentous of a coming storm, 
 
 Had all departed in the past. 
 
 And we more freely breathed at last. 
 
 178 
 
THE L)K\1L l.\ (llAkNS 
 
 CHAPTER XI 
 
 THE CKUST OE THE EAKTH IS ABOUT SIXTY-FIVE 
 MILES^ AND ON THE INTERIOR IS LOCATED THE 
 
 IMAGINARY HELL THE DEVIL (oUR OWN EVIL 
 
 thoughts) is controlled by the laws of NA- 
 TURE ALL EVILS (]\IORTxiL jMIND) MUST BE CAST 
 
 OFF EITHER IN THIS LIFE OR THROUGH SUFFERING 
 
 IN THE FUTURE STATE WHEN THAT IS DONE WE 
 
 WILL BE PERFECT EVEN AS THE FATHER IN 
 HEAVEN 18 PERFECT THE LAWS OF FATE ARE INEX- 
 ORABLE, AND THINGS TO BE ARE BOUND TO BE, 
 THOUGH TO THE MORTAL SENSE WE CAN MODIFY 
 THEM, BUT TO THE PERFECT OR INNER MAN THERE 
 
 CAN BE NO CHANGE OTHERWISE GOD'S LAW IS A 
 
 FAILURE THE GREATER NUMBER OF WOMEN SEEM 
 
 TO BE IN HEAVEN THE VAST ARMY MARCH TO- 
 WARD US WITH THE DEVIL IN THE LEAD. 
 
 The world should know what I shall tell, 
 The crust of Earth is but a shell. 
 Some five and sixty miles, or more, 
 Would safely reach the surface shore, 
 179 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 Where man in his dominion rules, 
 Lilve fislies of the deep in schools. 
 Indeed within this molten shell, 
 Is what is known to man as Hell. 
 Great seas of lava ebb and flow ; 
 As does the tide, they come and go. 
 Its molten crested billows roll, 
 And all revolves from pole to pole. 
 And though the Devil rules supreme. 
 And sweet revenge his constant theme, 
 Yet laws of God are here, in fact. 
 And by them Satan, too, must act. 
 And while he deprecates the cause, 
 God made, and he obeys the laws. 
 He can^t evade nor turn aside. 
 The fact that God is in the tide ; 
 Of all who call upon His name. 
 And preach and practice both the same, 
 Man only has one destiny. 
 Cast off all evil and be free. 
 As is our Lord in Heaven pure. 
 So all in time will be, I'm sure; 
 For otherAvise, God's law would fail. 
 And in the end sin would prevail. 
 180 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAINS 
 
 God lills all space, all men agree, 
 Hence in the end all must be free. 
 But from a temporal point of view, 
 I'll disagree, and so will you. 
 But physically of sin there is. 
 And Satan claims it all as his. 
 And holds communion to the end. 
 That God to man is not a friend. 
 Here how we live, and have our being, 
 YouTl never know except by seeing; 
 And then, indeed, you little know. 
 Except that fate has ruled it so. 
 For every child that's born, a star 
 Appears to rule it from afar. 
 And such is fate, it seems to me. 
 As one is born, he's bound to be. 
 That circumstances modify. 
 And change his course, I don't deny. 
 But when at last his race is run. 
 He's done what nature wanted done. 
 But what the sequel is to be, 
 Seems yet a little hard to see, 
 But while we're here the tools of fate. 
 We hope ourselves to vindicate, 
 181 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 And prove that fate is not so bad, 
 
 For whom Grod loves, He first makes mad. 
 
 But Avhat we did Fd better tell. 
 
 And what we saw, perhaps as well, 
 
 And then conclusions may be drawn. 
 
 When hope through faith begins to dawn. 
 
 Skid now began to theorize, 
 
 And talked at length to my surprise. 
 
 TTc told me wluit he thought was right. 
 
 And how to best conduct the fight. 
 
 And how we'd surely win the day. 
 
 If Fd agree to him obey. 
 
 Of what Ave did lie felt most proud. 
 
 And of the past talked long and loud. 
 
 "What you've just said, is true," said he, 
 
 "What is to be, is bound to be. 
 And tliough 'twas fate that ruled it thus, 
 It makes it very hard on us. 
 But grin and bear it, as it's said, 
 
 'Twill furnish butter for our bread. 
 And though in life we eat it late, 
 
 'Twill augur well for our estate. 
 And when we come to think of it. 
 There's other rules we must admit." 
 182 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 Yet^ long endurance^ as a rule. 
 Is paying dearly for our school, 
 With letters few as I can spell it^ 
 And time as short as I can tell it, 
 Ten million demons came in sight, 
 At which we almost took affright; 
 They soon became much more obscure, 
 Presenting but a mere contour. 
 "If they again approach,'' said Skid, 
 "Then don't offend them, God forbid. 
 It might be better in the end. 
 To treat them kindly, not offend." 
 Thus all his boasting in the start. 
 Was now about to prove faint heart. 
 And quoted often as it's been, 
 A lady fair 'twill never win. 
 But this is not the time to Jest; 
 Your theory is not the best. 
 Because faint heart, beneath the sun 
 Has never yet fair lady won. 
 And if we ever hope to win it. 
 We'll have to fight for all that's in it. 
 The Devil, as one might suppose. 
 Had dressed himself in different clothes, 
 183 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 And whnt ho would, or would not do. 
 Is very hard to tell, it's true. 
 But this is true, I don't deny. 
 As you observed, and so did I, 
 That we have many things to learn, 
 Before we solve this dread concern. 
 And foible not with luck nor fate, 
 For luck deceives but don't create. 
 It may be possible we want. 
 For discipline to stand the taunts. 
 They hurl with such impending force. 
 Though that we might expect, of course. 
 What most we need, I think is nerve. 
 To claim our rights without reserve; 
 To talk aloud, and make a noise. 
 One might expect from most of boys. 
 But we, to manhood now have grown, 
 When greater courage should be shown. 
 My meaning here to illustrate, 
 A story true, I'll now relate. 
 Two bulls once fought with fence between ; 
 They pawed the earth and showed their spleen; 
 They horned the fence, and puffed and blowed. 
 And every mark of courage showed. 
 184 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAmS 
 
 And well they might with fence between, 
 For then no danger could be seen. 
 The owner thinking nothing wrong, 
 To help the little one along, 
 Procured a pitch-fork, long of hilt. 
 And thought to give a little tilt. 
 To help the large one to subdue. 
 By giving him a punch or tw^o. 
 But first the gate he opened wide, 
 And drove the bulls there side by side. 
 Who still kept up a loud pretense. 
 While walking slowly down the fence. 
 Until they reached the open gate. 
 When lack of courage changed their fate. 
 The little one was not so brave, 
 Nor did he quite so well behave. 
 But rather kept himself apace. 
 Nor would his foe meet face to face. 
 The owner feeling much chagrin, 
 To think how foolish he had been. 
 Now called his dog with doubtful grace. 
 And drove the large bull from his place, 
 Who, as a protest to the wrong 
 That had been done him all along, 
 185 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 Now bowed his neck and looked most proud, 
 Then pawed the earth and bellowed loud. 
 Just so it seems with you, behold. 
 In times of peace you're very bold. 
 But when there's danger lurking round, 
 Your courage then can not be found. 
 But that is foreign to my point. 
 And knocks my story out of joint. 
 And if I'd make both ends connect, 
 I'd best return I now expect. 
 And treat my subject more by rule, 
 Or poets might be called a fool. 
 So what I said, I'll not rej)eat; 
 '^J'he changes made were most complete. 
 The ranks began in single file. 
 But soon had spread five hundred mile; 
 And every phase of human kind, 
 J^Lxcept tlie good, there one coukl find, 
 And where the line is to be drawn, 
 Unto me now begins to dawn. 
 It's. not at tiiis church nor at that. 
 For it don't matter where we're "at," 
 But all are destined yet to find. 
 The line is drawn at mortal mind. 
 186 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 For immortality is one^ 
 With God, the Father, and the Son; 
 While mortal are the works of man, 
 Explain it different if you can. 
 But think me not a base ingrate. 
 The male sex does predominate; 
 As three to five, or five to seven. 
 The females seem to be in Heaven. 
 Like drifting sand the numbers grow. 
 Till all Hell seems to overflow. 
 But then they stop three leagues away, 
 To reconnoiter, I should say, 
 And hold a council in their tent. 
 Of volleys fired and breath they spent. 
 'J'lieir banners, all of burning fire. 
 Are mounted, but they mount them higher; 
 They lasli about like tongues of flame. 
 With streaks of blood that spell our name. 
 The Devil with them now appeared, 
 And every imp in Hades cheered. 
 The din was deafening from the start, 
 And made us botli feel sick at heart. 
 To cap the climax in the scene, 
 And act the fool and sliow hi^ spleen, 
 187 
 
SKTD A^TD T 
 
 From off his perch came tum])ling down, 
 The Devil now to act the clown. 
 Upon his right hand stood a wag, 
 Upon his left a dirty hag. 
 The wag bald-headed and cross-eyed, 
 The hag club-footed, and, beside, 
 Her roman nose hawk-billed and long. 
 And freely dripped the whole day long. 
 Tier nose and chin came close together. 
 And in her ear she wore a feather. 
 This seemed to please the Devil's spleen. 
 And so he called her Fairy Queen. 
 But what they did, or what they would. 
 Could not by us be understood. 
 But this, I venture to predict. 
 The Devil feeling derelict 
 At what he'd seen so lately done. 
 And judging all mankind as one, 
 Concluded now to make a ruse. 
 And in the fiofht more blood infuse. 
 
 188 
 
THE DEVIL IX CHAINS 
 
 CHAPTER XII 
 
 TWELVE YOUNG LADIES APPEARED ON THE SCENE, 
 THOUGH VEllY MUCH MYSTIFIED IN APPEARANCE, 
 BUT ON DRAWING CLOSER, THEY SEEMED MORE 
 
 NATURAL TWO OF THEM APPROACHED US AND 
 
 TALKED IN A FAMILIAR MANNER THEY OFFERED 
 
 THEIR SERVICES AND AGREED TO SET US FREE FROM 
 HELL IF WE WOULD PAY THEM HOMAGE IN SOME 
 
 WAY SKID IS FAVORABLY IMPRESSED BY THEM, 
 
 BUT SOMETHING TELLS ME "NO/' THAT THEY ARE 
 CUNNING AND WILLING TOOLS OF THE DEVIL, LEAD- 
 ING, AND INFLUENCING OUR OWN EVIL THOUGHTS 
 
 SKID AND I, FOR THE FIRST TIME IN OUR LIVES, 
 BEGIN TO QUARREL. 
 
 Twelve maidens fair, to our surprise. 
 Eighteen years old, with jet-black eyes. 
 Of slender form and fine of face. 
 In short twelve beauties of the place. 
 Came slowly walking down the aisle. 
 As if they meant to rest awhile, 
 189 
 
SKID AXD I 
 
 And then 8at down not far away, 
 Perhaps to hold us still at bay, 
 Or by our lucre lusts to serve 
 A final test upon our nerve. 
 At least they watched us as they sat, 
 And talked by turn of this and that. 
 They seemed to talk with much concern. 
 Of all around and us by turn ; 
 But what they seemed to most discuss. 
 Was manner of approaching us. 
 They many gestures made and then 
 Referred to us as nice young men. 
 They wondered why it happened thus. 
 Or what might have befallen us; 
 And kindred things they said at will. 
 And all the while drew closer still, 
 But watched us closely as they talked. 
 Then two of them much closer walked. 
 And closer still, they closer came, 
 Until we heard them speak our name, 
 Which served our fancv to inspire. 
 And of the maidens to inquire 
 Their whereabouts and whence they came, 
 And how, ill shori, they learned our name; 
 190 
 
THE DEVIL IX CHAIXS 
 
 Or if a grievance to redress. 
 Or if a thought they cared express; 
 Or would the}' care to condescend, 
 To be our confidential friend. 
 Such thoughts revolving in our mind, 
 And kindred others of the kind. 
 But we concluded, by the way. 
 To wait a more auspicious day. 
 For, to be candid in the start, 
 We felt a little faint at lieart. 
 'Twas not because they women were. 
 As some, perhaps, might well infer; 
 That we so much their presence feared. 
 For common-place they all appeared. 
 And all well-bred as they could be, 
 x\nd modern beauties from the lea. 
 Or so they were, excepting one, 
 And she was black and wore homespun, 
 And such as that we'd seen before. 
 Or, thought we had, in days of yore. 
 They looked at us, we looked at them ; 
 They smiled at us, we said "ahem," 
 And then what next perchance befell 
 It seemed me best here not to tell, 
 191 
 
SKID AND 1 
 
 But must direct the reader's mind 
 To things of a much graver kind. 
 To things that prey upon our soul, 
 And sway the world from pole to pole. 
 We faced the Devil in his ire. 
 And saw him draw his sword of fire. 
 Of fire that quite surpassed his fame. 
 We saw him helching forth a flame. 
 We saw him march liis imps along, 
 Ten hundred millions were they strong. 
 We talked and argued with them, too, 
 And talked as other mortals do; 
 We saw his queen ascend the throne. 
 While basest imps of Hell seemed prone. 
 In kind obeisance to her will. 
 To bow their heads and serve her still. 
 We saw it all, and even more. 
 We saw the gates of Hell galore; 
 We saw our friends turn deadly foes 
 (Or so at least my story goes). 
 And me to wrong in this tumult. 
 My very children they'd insult. 
 We saw it all with manly nerve, 
 Xor from our duty did we swerve; 
 192 
 
THE DEYIL IN CHAINS 
 
 But those two maids, so fair of face, 
 Presented quite a different case. 
 It made us feel, to use a pun, 
 As if to court we'd just begun, 
 And sitting down beside our girl, 
 Our dizzy heads would almost whirl. 
 And 'tis a fact, most young men know, 
 When they a-wooing first would go, 
 They'd cock their eje, and look askance. 
 Then timidly accept a chance 
 To grasp the lady around the waist. 
 And then — but stop, that seems bad taste. 
 Effeminate we may have been. 
 Surrounded there by such a din. 
 And I, an egotist may be. 
 But try it by the Eule of Three, 
 And if when fairly tried, I fail. 
 Then Fll submit and go to jail, 
 iVnd lay there, too, if so I must, 
 Till earth to earth, and dust to dust. 
 Till Heaven takes the place of Earth 
 And makes me as I was at birth. 
 Till all my fondest hopes are blest 
 And I have found a place of rest. 
 193 
 
SKID AM) 1 
 
 Through all the pant, my readers know 
 That Skid and I, through weal and woe, 
 Had quite agreed in all we did, 
 For Skid loved nie and I loved Skid. 
 We differed, but we never fussed, 
 Because we did each other trust. 
 Twas often said we loved each other 
 As tenderly as could a mother, 
 And while the ties were not so strong, 
 We never did each other wrong. 
 Through all our childhood hours of play. 
 Through wintry l)lasts and sununer's day. 
 Through every stage, as little boys. 
 When in the fields, or with our toys; 
 Through thick and thin, through good or bad. 
 What pleased the one the other had. 
 And so it is to-day as well. 
 Perambulating here in Hell. 
 But judgment now takes fancy's place, 
 And leaves its imprint on our face. 
 And from this time, like most of men. 
 We're bound to differ now and then. 
 But honest difference doesn't mean 
 That either one would show their spleen, 
 11)4 
 
TUK 1)K\1J. L\ CHAINS 
 
 Xor fuss and quarrel at this and that. 
 Like poodle dog and brindle cat. 
 But to those maidens let's return, 
 Because for them we've much concern. 
 Xot just because the}' females were, 
 Xor than the others prettier, 
 Though that the}^ were, it's true, by far, 
 And cunning, too, as women arc. 
 But from this subject Til digress, 
 And tell a story here, 1 guess. 
 Although a story it is not. 
 But rather what an old man thought 
 Of womankind in their relation 
 To all mankind since their creation. 
 But what he said he scarcely meant. 
 For he was kind to some extent ; 
 And this is what the old man said. 
 Although the old man now is dead: 
 "An evil, women all must be, 
 Though necessary still is she 
 To hold mankind a unit still 
 Subservient to our Maker's will." 
 But let that go for what it's worth. 
 For 'twas a wonum gave me l)irth. 
 l!)r, 
 
SKID A^I) I 
 
 And 1 revere her sacred iiame^ 
 And all her sex I love the same. 
 Now, Skid, poor boy, was pleased to death, 
 And praised them warmly at each breath. 
 To prove no harm could happen thus, 
 He told me how they pitied us. 
 And witli a tremor on his face, 
 J'rojioiuK'ed tlieni fairest of our race. 
 But something seemed to tell me "no," 
 They^ll prove to be your deadly foe. 
 And as the serpent did with Eve, 
 Their object is us to deceive. 
 And should we follow where they lead 
 We'll fall a victim to their greed. 
 They serpents are, and well equipped, 
 Two damsels fair and rosy-lipped. 
 Who have a part just now to play 
 By leading tliis and then that way, 
 Until we reach our final doom. 
 That long, deep, dark, and sombre room, 
 Where lay one thousand forms of clay. 
 Who, just like us, have gone astray. 
 The Devil knows, and so does man. 
 That none can lie as woman can. 
 196 
 
THE DEVIL TX CHAINS 
 
 None can deceive so well as she^ 
 And yet so fair would seem to be. 
 Then heed my words and heed them well, 
 Don't be deceived while here in Hell. 
 Thus said, the voice then disappears, 
 And left me overcome with fears. 
 And while exhausted, too, was I, 
 1 almost felt that I must cry ; 
 Bat Skid refused it to obey. 
 And met the maidens just half way. 
 And all together towards me walked, 
 And in the Hebrew language talked. 
 And strange to say we understood 
 Just Avhat you'd think we never could. 
 For Indiana dialect 
 Was all from us one might expect. 
 The- Hebrew language alphabet 
 We'd never seen nor heard as yet ; 
 We'd never heard it talked before. 
 Yet it was plain as English lore. 
 For mind was now in full control. 
 And always is, upon the whole. 
 And not as one might here infer. 
 We needed no interpreter. 
 197 
 
^KID AM) I 
 
 And ril report at< .^eeiiis, indeed, 
 Tile \erv best, that all may read 
 Just what to us in fact occurred 
 And nothing leave to be inferred. 
 For 1 detest, and so does Skid, 
 To guess at things that others did. 
 And now since closer they had drawn, 
 Their wondrous beauty all had gone ; 
 Their lips were not so rosy now, 
 Xor yet like marble was their brow. 
 They looked as women mostly do, 
 ^Mth pinafore and pinback, too, 
 And high-heeled boots and hose of white. 
 And furbelows and garters tight; 
 And low-necked dress with sleeves cut short. 
 Which looked to me much out of sort ; 
 And two white l)reasts they both exposed, 
 Which made us feel — but stop, IVe closed. 
 Now Skid to me thus pertly said : 
 Mt doesn't look much like the dead, 
 Much less like what we've seen before. 
 Since rambling through this Hell-bound shore. 
 1 almost feel impelled to say. 
 It augurs well for us some way." 
 198 
 
THE DEVIL IX CHAIN^S 
 
 "Well, yes, in part, I think as much, 
 In all we've seen there's nothing- such. 
 And yet it's true, as I'll admit, 
 And while in mind I'll speak of it. 
 We saw them once, I think, before. 
 We saw these two, and maybe more. 
 But let us pass unto the next, 
 And they, I think, will read a text 
 To lead us further in the light, 
 Or further still our hopes to blight." 
 And so they did, and this was it. 
 As near us they presumed to sit. 
 And thus the leader to us said : 
 
 "Be thou the living or the dead? 
 And art thou weary of thy way ? 
 And dost thou seek the light of day ? 
 If so, then hear me what I tell. 
 For we can set thee free from Hell, 
 x\nd naught could please so well to do. 
 For Heaven knows we pity you; 
 While here sojonrning in this land 
 We called to lend a helping hand. 
 Like you, from Earth long since we came, 
 Hence not by chance we know thy name; 
 199 
 
SKID AXD I 
 
 And for n fact in mind we dwells, 
 Because there's no such phice as Hell. 
 No tangible, no real place, 
 Where God, the Author of our race, 
 Consigns the soul of any one 
 Who ever lived since time beguji, 
 Or wills tliat they should punished be 
 Through measureless eternity. 
 For matter does not, can not feel. 
 Hence Avith the mind alone we deal, 
 Nor spirit can not be confined, 
 N"or matter can not rule the mind ; 
 Hence truth than fiction seems more strange. 
 And darkest clouds to crimson change. 
 For truth must and it will prevail. 
 It never did and can not fail. 
 And all so wisely He foresaw, 
 He made and executes the law. 
 And by that law that pleased Him best 
 Mankind has been profoundly blest; 
 While this is true in pith and vein, 
 Yet men dispute what seems so plain. 
 And marvel much at what has been 
 The misconception of all sin. 
 200 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAmS 
 
 Hence greatest strength sometimes gives way, 
 And greatest mirth to sad dismay, 
 And while the Earth revolves around 
 The sun this maxim may be found: 
 That right is right and will prevail, 
 Though all things else may sometimes fail, 
 And this the most of people know. 
 Fine plants are spoiled by rubigo; 
 And while your road most rough had been, 
 ^Twas not for your imputed sin ; 
 In justice others bear the blame, 
 Though you unjustly get the name. 
 It might have been a base gewgaw. 
 Or else, perhaps, a brother-in-law. 
 For wolves are often found in wool. 
 And shallow minds are never full. 
 They're like a barrel without a head. 
 They're greatly pleased at things they've said, 
 And never fail to bubble o'er 
 At things you've heard them say before ; 
 And thus they end their time at length 
 Without an attribute of strength." 
 N'ow we were somewhat pleased with this, 
 And nothing thought could be amiss 
 201 
 
SKID ATnTD I 
 
 In what they said and what they did, 
 So I agreed and so did Skid. 
 And then the conversation turned 
 On what they seemed much more concerned, 
 Of things much deeper in the main, 
 Tliat might well try a lawyers brain; 
 Of legislatures, if they'd try it, 
 (The one just ending in a riot) 
 Though speaking of such men of letter 
 Tlie less we say, perhaps, the better. 
 "Well now,'' they said, "we'll serve you still 
 If you'll agree to do our will. 
 For there's a mystery we might tell. 
 And lead you safely out of Hell. 
 And there a maxim you should know, 
 'You'll faster go by going slow ;' 
 Be not too hasty in your turn, 
 And there's a sequel you will learn. 
 And while the world may yet revolve, 
 Stand firmly when you once resolve. 
 Though ])ledges l)roken leave a flaw. 
 It's so in equity and law. 
 And law is made of common sense, 
 Xot counting this nor that expense; 
 202 
 
THE DEVIL IX CHAINS 
 
 And while the loser pays the bill, 
 The winner's purse is lighter still, 
 For lawyers know just who to pluck 
 And how much blood they dare to suck. 
 Then this remember, if you will. 
 They pledge their word, but rob you still, 
 And lest you hold yourself aloof, 
 Take all you've got beneath your roof. 
 And when at last the point is scored. 
 You've nothing left to pay your board. 
 But that's enough of what I've said, 
 For that's the living, not the dead. 
 And 'tis the latter we've to do. 
 While bere we be, and so do you. 
 And now we'll treat it more by rule, 
 Or we might be pronounced a fool, 
 And be accused in such a state 
 Of making use of billingsgate; 
 And such a thought, don't you suppose, 
 Should cross our minds, for these are those ; 
 That such a thing would be absurd, 
 I'll cross myself and pledge my word ; 
 If that be going not too far, 
 For though in Hell, yet saints we are. 
 203 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 Besides we are^ I say again, 
 
 Like P]ve, a helpmate unto man, 
 
 And by the letters that spell onr names 
 
 We'll free you from this world of flames; 
 
 We'll barter not, nor will we stay, 
 
 Nor spare ourselves in any way, 
 
 Nor shirk a duty at our hand, 
 
 That you may see your native huid 
 
 And breathe the atmosphere again, 
 
 A freer, nobler, better man." 
 
 204 
 
Thih] DEVIL m CHAINS 
 
 CHAPTER XIII 
 
 THEY DECLARE TllEIK IXNOCENCE AND ASSURE US 
 THAT THEY KXOW THE PLACE BY METES AND 
 BOUNDS, AS THEY HAVE BEEN THERE FOR MANY 
 
 AGES THEY HAVE SEEN MANY NATIONS FALL AND 
 
 VTATCHED OUR COUNTRY THROUGH ITS VARIOUS 
 STAGES — THEY" HAVE WATCHED WITH PLEASURE 
 
 THE GREAT ADVANCEMENT OF CIVILIZATION THEY 
 
 WARN US AGAINST FALSE FRIENDS AFTER ASKING 
 
 US TO KISS THEIR LIPS OR STROKE THEIR HAIR, 
 THEY DEPART AND LEAVE US ALONE THE TREACH- 
 ERY OF MANY MEN AFTER MARRIAGE; THE WOMEN 
 
 GET THE WORST OF IT SKID PLEADS LONG AND 
 
 LOUD FOR THE WILY FEMALES, AND PREDICTS OUR 
 HOPELESS CONDITION IF WE REJECT THEIR FAIR 
 OFFERS. 
 
 "We did no wrong that brought us here, 
 Upon that point I think you're clear, 
 Or SO, I think, 3^ou ought to be, 
 From what you've done, and what you see; 
 205 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 And while its for your own concern, 
 Attention while you hear and learn. 
 And stand no longer thus in doubt, 
 While yet the light to burn holds out, 
 And should we sj^ring a great surprise, 
 Doubt not your hearing nor your eyes ; 
 For though it^s strange, yet of a truth. 
 We're, as it were, still in our youth, 
 And nations many we've seen fall. 
 Of Rome, and Carthage, and of Gaul, 
 And ancient Greece, and others still, 
 Once reigned on Earth and ruled at will; 
 But when at last they reached their height. 
 Like jetsam passed they out of sight. 
 Croesus, too, the sovereign bold, 
 We knew who first made coins of gold. 
 And through his genius, all his own, 
 The whole world has much richer grown, 
 And all things else have kept apace, 
 Till nations now talk face to face. 
 From land to land, from sea to sea. 
 They now converse familiarly. 
 They span the waters and rejoice. 
 And recognize each others voice; 
 ^06 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAINS 
 
 A plain brass wire conveys the news, 
 x4nd simple methods do the}^ use. 
 Though many hundred miles they span, 
 They hear and talk as man to man ; 
 And now a photograph they take, 
 Through bodies solid and opaque; 
 They trace the blood through every part 
 Aud watch the movements of the heart. 
 Nor is this all nor half they've done 
 Since we our course in Hell begun. 
 The poets great of ancient times. 
 We help to chant and sing their rhymes ; 
 They're Homer, Milton, and the rest, 
 We loved them all when at their best; 
 And why we did is plain to see. 
 For had there been no poetry. 
 Or had there been no poets born. 
 Then even here life had been shorn 
 Of half its pleasures and its worth, 
 And rendered like a drag on earth. 
 And Cyrus, king upon the throne. 
 We saw in all his splendor shone. 
 And this is true, though marvel not, 
 Nor stop to take a second thought 
 207 
 
SKID AND 1 
 
 Of what we do or what we say^ 
 For time will make it plain as day. 
 Of modern times we've much to tell, 
 Of Henry^ and King George^ as well; 
 We saw King James draw his last breath, 
 And Mary, Queen of Scots, in death, 
 We saw upon the guillotine, 
 While Heaven and Earth condemned the scene; 
 We saw the redmen in their mights 
 Defy the laws and all the whites ; 
 We saw them fighting for their ground, 
 Where deer, and bear, and elk were found. 
 In times of war, with much rugose, 
 We saw them meet their pale-faced foes, 
 And as a sign we saw them place 
 The ruddy paint upon their face; 
 We saw them use the scalping knives 
 To rob the pale-faced of their lives. 
 And further still, in your own land, 
 Where Washington once gave command. 
 While Greorge the Third upon the throne 
 Claimed all your country as his own, 
 And he it was who fought so long 
 For what the whole world knew was wrong; 
 208 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAINS 
 
 We saw Burgo3'ne when at Yorktown^ 
 And watched the British flag come down. 
 When he surrendered all along 
 Some seven thousand soldiers strong 
 We cheered and said^ 'twill end their fates 
 And free the great United States; 
 We saw the epoch of your race, 
 And saw your country take its place 
 Among the nations of the earth, 
 Where we, poor creatures, had our birth; 
 And as Eve did, so there we fell. 
 And now we spend our time in Hell; 
 And if from us you care to learn 
 The ups and downs of this concern. 
 Then listen to me and be wise. 
 And words of wisdom don't despise. 
 There is a maxim often sung 
 For people old as well as young, 
 ^Beware of wolves in sheep's attire. 
 For to betray you they aspire.' 
 But we, I'm sure, have been your friend. 
 And shall be so unto the end, 
 Aud only ask, if not amiss, 
 A little^ favor — it is this: 
 209 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 Our lips you kiss or stroke our hair, 
 We'll free you then from this nightmare; 
 Or fall upon your bended knees, 
 And homage pay, our souls to please ; 
 All which is such an easy task 
 That less than that you shouldn't ask, 
 And less than that we'll not receive, 
 No matter what you make believe ; 
 Now this decide as best you may 
 Till we return another day." 
 Thus said, they both were quickly gone, 
 And left us much to think upon ; 
 And I'll admit, and so will Skid, 
 That I don't know what next we did. 
 I'm sure we didn't bide our time 
 In sitting down and writing rhyme; 
 Nor did we spend our time in play 
 By telling yarns to pass away 
 Our time, (hat seemod like endless night, 
 i>y doul)ling wi'ongs to make one righj. 
 Now, when a woman's in the race. 
 It's almost sure to change the case, 
 And friends who were the ])est of friends 
 Will now begin lo make amends. 
 210 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 But pardon me for what Vyq said ; 
 A woman's all right in the bed. 
 And elsewhere, too, so far as that. 
 But wed one and they're bound to spat; 
 If things don't go or come to please. 
 Why then they^ll cry and cry at ease; 
 But still, poor things, it's best they can. 
 When once they're yoked to stubborn man; 
 And, as a rule, I must admit. 
 The woman gets the worst of it. 
 For many married women know 
 That men, when married, different grow. 
 And quite neglect their duties then 
 By staying out till after ten. 
 And later on, till one or two. 
 Perhaps, another one to woo ; 
 And then to make it so mueli worse. 
 Commence to growl and then to curse. 
 Because a chair was in tlie way. 
 Or things imagined gone astray; 
 And when at last they go to bed. 
 With wheels revolving in their head. 
 They still keep up their drunken brawl. 
 While poor, weak woman bears it all. 
 211 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 But husbands^ loving, kind and true, 
 These lines were never meant for you, 
 Because we know that husbands good 
 Will treat their wives as husbands should. 
 They'll not deny them, black or white, 
 A privilege that's theirs by right, 
 Nor will they once go on a strike 
 Because their wives should ride a bike. 
 And if his wife should go to town 
 You'll never see him act the clown, 
 Though act the fool I'd better say, 
 As some men do most every day. 
 Perhaps I scarcely need to tell 
 That we at play, and work as well, 
 Ne'er felt the pangs of anger rise. 
 Nor tears brought to the other's eyes. 
 And I, though younger was than he. 
 He always led, yet followed me. 
 And while he talked much more than I, 
 I drew the plans, I don't deny, 
 And executed them at will ; 
 To some extent 1 do so still. 
 But now the case is different quite ; 
 A woman now exerts her right, 
 212 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 And though their bones have turned to clay, 
 These women still would have their way. 
 No matter, either, what we do, 
 For spirits never stop to woo, 
 For male and female are as one. 
 And have been so since time begun ; 
 Or that^s the case, as soon we learned, 
 So far as treatment is concerned. 
 But when the Devil has a deal, 
 Or wants the public pulse to feel, 
 He calls a trusty female then 
 To lead at will the minds of men ; 
 And how in that he has succeeded 
 No special comment here is needed. 
 So 1^11 return and do my best 
 To tell you half and then the rest; 
 And for a start, we're men to-day, 
 And things, have changed in every way, 
 And now the fight, it seems to me. 
 Is home, and friends, and liberty. 
 But I'll proceed my yarn to tell 
 Of what we did and what befell. 
 And what inspired us here to act. 
 And all we heard and saw, in fact; 
 213 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 But don't my language misconstrue, 
 As I have done so you should do. 
 ITpon your fancy make a draw. 
 And then you'll see what here I saw; 
 You'll see the dark, deep path of Hell, 
 And more tlum tongue of man can tell, 
 And more than man could preconceive, 
 Or any mortal would believe. 
 The place grew dismal, dark and damp. 
 Enough to drive us into camp. 
 And Skid impatient then became, 
 And almost cursed his very name; 
 Rut presently he quiet grew. 
 And, as he said, was feeling blue. 
 And all who ever suffered thus 
 May condescend to pity us. 
 And thus we sat, and sitting, I'll 
 Admit we slept a little while. 
 And rousing up, he made remark: 
 'Do things continue still so dark? 
 Or- do they breathe a breath more free, 
 A fostered hope of liberty? 
 And wlio wcn^ tliey, can you surmise. 
 Who came so kindly to advise, 
 •at 
 
THE DEVIL IX CHAIXS 
 
 And map tlie route that duty calls 
 And set us free from out these walls?" 
 Said he : "It seems most passing strange 
 That things should make so great a change, 
 x4nd in our favor, for I'm sure 
 They will our liberty secure 
 If we with prudence do our best. 
 And they, I'm sure, will flo the rest. 
 They favored us in every act. 
 And stooped to please us, too, in fact, 
 And if we should them now reject. 
 Then this prediction recollect — 
 We've lost all hopes of home and Heaven 
 As sure as three and four are seven, 
 And that we merit nothing l)etter 
 Is my opinion to the letter. 
 Faint heart ne'er won a lady fair 
 Is here as true as anywhere ; 
 I think the time is now at hand. 
 If we together firmly stand. 
 To roam again among the free. 
 Where we so much would love to ])e.'' 
 'But hold,'' said 1, "think well before 
 You launch your bark too far from sliore. 
 215 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 From Longfellow now let me quote, 
 For he, like Pope, so wisely wrote, 
 'Then stay at home, my heart, and rest, 
 The bird is safest in the nest. 
 O'er all that flutter their wings to fly 
 A hawk is hovering in the sky/ 
 Now what could be more true than this, 
 Or in it what could be amiss? 
 And then I heard my father say. 
 When round the door I used to play, 
 'The fattest cattle often die, 
 And efforts fail, though hard you try,' 
 And we might profit now and then 
 To heed the counsel of such men. 
 For that they neither lived in vain 
 To both of us I think is plain ; 
 And this remember and be wise. 
 The Devil's always in disguise, 
 And furthermore, don't be too fast, 
 The Devil's cunning to the last, 
 And if you take him for a fool, 
 n^hen I'm compelled to doubt your rule. 
 For when the world is using paint 
 The Devil then becomes a saint, 
 216 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 But when in earnest they become 
 He slinks awa}- and sucks his thumb, 
 And though he slinks, the most of men 
 Soon find him bobbing up again; 
 They find him where they least expect, 
 And where he^s hardest to reject. 
 You'll find him even in the pew, 
 And often at the altar, too, 
 And in the present day of grace 
 The altar proves his favorite place. 
 He clothes himself, we said before, 
 In sheep's attire, then walks the floor: 
 He gives himself a brush or two. 
 Then says, ^vhy, sister, howdy do : 
 And brother, too, why I declare, 
 I'm glad to see you out to prayer.' 
 And further still to show his cheek. 
 He says, ^and how've you been all week.' 
 Then to the next he passes by, 
 And as he goes he winks his eye. 
 As if to say, ^indeed, 'tis well, 
 I'll settle this with you in Hell.' 
 Now this remember and take heed. 
 The Devil often stoops to lead, 
 217 
 
SKID AND 1 
 
 For here he led us, there's no cloubtj 
 And still he leads us round about, 
 And will still lead us in this way 
 If we his dictates will obey. 
 His cunning seems to have no end ; 
 Sometimes he represents a friend, 
 At other times he threatens grief; 
 For instance, there was neighbor Thief, 
 And then the ladies in the hall, 
 Who looked like pictures on the wall; 
 But first the apparition came. 
 As if it were in Heaven's name ; 
 It's true his wa3's he couldn't force 
 If he had cried till he was hoarse 
 In giving vent to this or that, 
 Or squalling like a maltese cat. 
 But let that go for what it's worth. 
 He rules in Hell and reigns on Earth, 
 And though he does it's not for me 
 To question his identity; 
 To ask him why he breaks the laws. 
 He'd only answer you, ^because.' 
 And if I could, myself I'd kick, 
 For yielding to the Devil's trick. 
 218 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 But we were bo3^s, and young at that, 
 Upon the banks of old Wild Cat, 
 Where we surrounded were by friends, 
 And childish pleasures had no ends." 
 
 219 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 CHAPTER XIV 
 
 J'KOCKASTlNATlOxX IS THE TlllEF OF TIME GOD's 
 
 WISDOM IN MAKING US FREE, BUT HOLDS EVERY- 
 ONE GlilLTV AND ALLOWS TILEM TO SlFKEl; FOR 
 TIIKIK OWN WI.'ONGS UNTIL TtilOY CAST OFF ALL 
 FUROR — CHRLSr's DECLARATION THAT WE WOULD 
 DO MORE THAN HE DID, PROVES TRUE, AS WE HAVE 
 THE SINS OF THE FLESH TO CAST OFF, AND HE DID 
 
 NOT MAN NOT BORN TO DIE ONLY IN A MORTAL 
 
 SENSE, OTHERWISE, GOD's LAW WOULD BE A FAIL- 
 URE COURTS OF LAW ARE OxVLY A MEANS OF SERV- 
 ING THE DEVIL — WE SEE THE FOLLY OF THE PAST 
 
 AND LAMENT OUR CONDITION THERE IS A TIME 
 
 WHEN MOST OF PEOPLE MAY BE LED TO DO WRONG 
 
 WE FEEL LIKE PUNISHING OURSELVES FOR BEING 
 
 LED ASTRAY SKID ORDERS ME TO STOP, AT WHICH 
 
 WE BOTH BECAME ANGRY' — CHRIST ORDERED THE 
 DEVIL (an evil thought) TO GET BEHIND HIM, 
 
 AND WE SHOULD DO AS MUCH THERE IS BUT ONE 
 
 SPIRIT, EVEN THE FATHER, AND WE REFLECT THAT 
 SPIRIT, HENCE DEATH CAN NOT OCCUR ONLY TO A 
 
 220 
 
THE DEVIL IX CHAIXS 
 
 MOPiTAL SENSE SKID PROrOSES TO TAKE THE LEAD 
 
 AND INSISTS ON ACCEPTING THE ASSISTANCE^ OR 
 COUNSEL, OF THE WILY GUIDES, AND GIVES HIS 
 
 VERSION OF THE CASE AT GREAT LENGTH THEIR 
 
 DEPAIJTURE, AND WE ARE ALONE AGAIN. 
 
 "I read in school, and so did you, 
 These words that here have proven true, 
 'Procrastination is a thief 
 Of time/ at least, without relief. 
 If we too long indulge its course. 
 Or yield by habit to its force ; 
 Yet if in blood I'd write my name 
 I couldn't tell you how it came 
 That we were led so far astray. 
 Or why we're punished in this way; 
 But God, when man created. He 
 Most wisely made him to be free ; 
 And serve the Devil those who will. 
 He holds them guilty for it still. 
 And in our case it's quite the same ; 
 To sum it up, we're both to blame. 
 Our parents both we disobeyed. 
 And on them cruel tricks we played, 
 221 
 
SKID ANY) T 
 
 And though we knew not the results, 
 For we were not full-grown adults, 
 Yet wliat we did we knew was wrong, 
 And wrong we practiced all along. 
 In short, we did what we ought not, 
 As children will, without much thought, 
 Regarding it as children's play. 
 Sometimes in this and then tliat way. 
 But now we're grow^n to man's estate, 
 And Hell our course may consummate; 
 But that depends, it's plain to see. 
 On what we will or will not be. 
 And if we demonstrate above 
 The mortal mind through perfect love. 
 We'll reach the goal where Jesus stood. 
 And do just what He said we should; 
 For more than what Fve done you'll do. 
 Most sacredly He said, and true. 
 If actuated for the best. 
 And let instinct dictate the rest ; 
 We'll win our point, we'll gain the fight. 
 Though long the day and dark the night. 
 The years have gone, we know not where, 
 Nor have we any time to spare, 
 222 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAINS 
 
 For time is fleeting swiftly by, 
 You're growing old and so am I ; 
 The midday of our life is here. 
 And death, for aught we know, is near, 
 And soon the evening shades will rest 
 On all mankind, from East to West. 
 Though death, in fact, I scarcely meant, 
 Clod never goes to that extent ; 
 He both created and gave birth. 
 To dwell eternal on the Earth, 
 If we but do His holy will, 
 Eor Jesus is our Savior still. 
 Such means as death He don't employ. 
 For death would be but to destroy. 
 And to destroy would break His law; 
 What God created He foresaw. 
 And every plant and every flower 
 Is part and parcel of His power; 
 His wondrous wisdom and His love 
 Will reproduce them all above. 
 As grows the lily in the vale, 
 God's promises will never fail. 
 On Earth they'd try our case in court. 
 But that is but the Devil's sport, 
 223 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 For when men get at loggerhead 
 They feed the Devil butter-bread. 
 The fiercer the disputed war 
 The more he has to grapple for ; 
 He courts the lawyers in the case 
 And spreads a smile upon their face, 
 And then the jury and the judge, 
 Adroitly all of them he'd nudge; 
 And when decided, as they will. 
 He agitates it further still 
 By urging them, with much purport, 
 To carry it to higher court, 
 And in the end to fight a duel, 
 While he supplies the ready fuel. 
 How I lament the day and hour 
 When first we came into his power ; 
 When first Ave heard the serpent's call, 
 Why did we not then spurn it all ? 
 And why we came at his cornmand 
 Is past my wits to understand. 
 But there's a time, it's truly said, 
 When most of people may ho led. 
 And then the Devil makes his call. 
 And spins his web aud plans our fall. 
 2U 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAIJ^S 
 
 Just see the suljtle web he spun^ 
 x\nd how he seized them one by one, 
 Until we reached the fatal cup^ 
 To which we stooped and took a sup; 
 How different all things seem to go, 
 The whole world swaying to and fro, 
 As we've been told both pro and con, 
 From Genesis clear through to John, 
 And so it will, as I suppose. 
 Till in the flesh our life shall close; 
 It makes me angry in the main. 
 And this I'll say, and say it plain. 
 But pardon me, because I feel 
 Like here my thoughts I'd best conceal, 
 For of a truth they're not the kind 
 That should inspire a poet's mind, 
 But thought to action must give birth. 
 So here it goes for what it's worth : 
 And as it is a poet's ruse, 
 I'll hire some one me to abuse. 
 To kick me forty times or more. 
 And hard enough to make me sore. 
 I'd teach myself, I think, to know. 
 What next to do, and where to go, 
 325 
 
SKID x4NP 1 
 
 And follow not an apparition 
 
 Into this damnable perdition. 
 
 It does beat thunder^ I declare^ 
 
 (Bnt then^ I didn't mean to swear), 
 
 To be in sneh a place as this 
 
 Would make a saint say things amiss, 
 
 And one who could suppress his wrath 
 
 AVould be a dandy in our path/^ 
 ^^But stop,'^ said Skid. "What ! stop you say, 
 
 And let the Devil have his way ? 
 
 Surrender unto him my soul? 
 
 Vd curse his name from pole to pole ! 
 
 Become a tool to sacrilege? 
 
 Let him to all that^s dear lay siege; 
 
 Vd suffer death ten thousand times, 
 
 I^d brand my soul with paltry crimes, 
 
 I'd high suspend myself in air, 
 
 AVith mill-stones fastened to my hair; 
 
 I'd burn myself into a crisp 
 
 Before I'd homage to him lisp. 
 
 The Savior said upon the Mount, 
 
 (Through John we get the whole account) 
 'I bid thee, Satan, get behind. 
 
 The counterpart of mortal mind.' 
 226 
 
THE DEVIL I^^ CHAINS 
 
 Both flesh and spirit he can't be, 
 Then how corporeal, I can't see; 
 And as for spirit, there's but one, 
 As God the Father and the Son, 
 Or Father, Son and Holy Ghost 
 Are all the same, to say the most. 
 With less than that God's word would fail, 
 And sin on Earth would then prevail, 
 And strife and chaos, too, would reign. 
 If soul depended on the brain. 
 But God foresaw, as well He might. 
 That in the end we'd see aright. 
 And when we cast ourselves aside 
 The portals then will open wide, 
 And though the half has not been told, 
 For truth will never all unfold." 
 'But stop," said he. "Sir, stop a bit. 
 The way is clear and this is it ; 
 And if you'll hear to what I say, 
 I'll demonstrate it clear as day 
 That there's no call for such tirade 
 As you so recently have made. 
 You'll prove yourself a blatant ass. 
 And be regarded with that class ; 
 
SKID AXD I 
 
 And then besides, to make it worse, 
 'Twill ultimately prove a curse. 
 Besides, a'ou know it's but a trick 
 The Devil has to make us sick 
 Of what we did and what befell. 
 And all surrouiulings, too, as well. 
 1 heard it said, when but a lad, 
 Thai whom (iod h)ves He hrst makes mad; 
 And you'll admit it makes it Avorse 
 To rant so fiercely and to curse, 
 And show yourself in such a light; 
 Wrongs multiplied will not make right; 
 It makes a fool of all you do, 
 Which I detest, and so do you. 
 Xow let me take the lead and see 
 If we don't gain our liberty ; 
 Your equilibrium preserve. 
 And try to hold a steady nerve. 
 There's much to do, we both know well. 
 But wdiat we need before we go 
 Is to secure a steady guide 
 To lead us through this awful tide. 
 We've demonstrated well, I think. 
 That for such mortals there's a link 
 228 
 
THE DEVIL IiY CHAIIS^S 
 
 That we can not elueirlate, 
 Do what we may, it',< .<till our fate. 
 it seems the g'ods have so decreed 
 That man should answer for each deed 
 Of good or had while yet on earth, 
 Which almost antedate his birth. 
 For sinful nature liad he when, 
 Without consent was born to men, 
 And with confusion runuino- wild, 
 In old age man becomes a child ; 
 The dotage of old age begins, 
 To mortal eyes the wage of sin. 
 We seem to be in endless s^Dace, 
 Without an iukling of our race, 
 Nor where we are, nor what we've done, 
 Nor why we such a course begun ; 
 And now to make my story plain 
 I'd rather die than tax my brain 
 In solving problems darker still. 
 But let results be what they will, 
 1^11 heed the dictates of my own. 
 And follow truth and truth alone.^' 
 ^Your resolutions. Skid, are good. 
 That truth should lead you where it would. 
 229 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 And ril adniif you ivason well, 
 But canH concuj- in all you tell. 
 Your logic may be fairly good, 
 Bui not conclusive as it should; 
 It comprehends, upon the whole, 
 The deeds of man, but not the soul. 
 And this, at least, Td like to know, 
 'l"'he course you'd take and where you'd go 
 And what the I'ule you'd try it by, 
 For as we live just so we die ; 
 Or would you risk it all to chance, 
 When old age makes its last advance? 
 If that's your course, we disagree; 
 A diiferent course was mapped for me. 
 The Devil here is bound to rule, 
 He rules the wise and guides the fool, 
 And we most foolish must have been 
 To thus be tangled up in sin. 
 We've traveled long the ways of Hell, 
 And what we've seen no tongue can tell; 
 x\nd but few minds, as I perceive. 
 If seeing it would dare believe, 
 And possibly some people may 
 Yet call in question what I say, 
 230 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAINS 
 
 But if they do I'll pledge my word 
 That not a titlie has yet been heard ; 
 For as in mortal, as I dwell, 
 I can't portray the scenes of Hell, 
 NoY Avould I care to, if I could. 
 For the results might not be good. 
 But have your way, do as you please. 
 But I'll not fall upon my knees. 
 Nor stroke their hair nor kiss their lips. 
 Upon that point 1^11 give you tips. 
 I'd rather die, if die we must, 
 Than in such imps to place my trust. 
 For Mother Eve, as you well know, 
 Was led astray by doing so; 
 And for her wrong poor fallen man 
 Is forced to do the best he can. 
 And all the ills he now falls heir 
 Is chargeable to that affair ; 
 And all the ills of fallen man 
 Was then included in the plan 
 Of which the Devil did conceive 
 To lead astray Old Mother Eve. 
 And then should I still follow suit, 
 x\nd sink still lower than a brute? 
 231 
 
SKID AXD I 
 
 Or bind myself to sacred laws. 
 Inspired to serve a holy cause ? 
 It seems to me self-evident 
 That it is plain without comment, 
 The latter course I shall pursue, 
 As God desires that I should do. 
 x\nd as for mortal mind of man, 
 ril demonstrate it best I can, 
 And pass it over one by one, 
 For Jesus said, 'What I have done, 
 And also greater works than these, 
 You'll do my Father's will to please.' 
 And Jesus never spoke amiss ; 
 It's only man's hypothesis 
 That leads the mortal mind astray. 
 For what He said is true to-day." 
 "Well, yes," said he, "all that is true. 
 But must we further still pursue 
 AVhat surely is a hopeless race. 
 When fate itself condemns the case? 
 You know, I'm sure, and know it well, 
 We're helpless here as mice in Hell. 
 The very thought is so absurd, 
 Since all we've seen and all we've heard, 
 232 
 
THE DEVIL IX CHAIXS 
 
 And our experience here has taught^ 
 If we regard it as it we ought, 
 That I can't see my title clear 
 To fighting any longer here, 
 With all these imps as here we find them, 
 And countless numbers still behind them. 
 To further still pursue our fight 
 Against the august Prince of Night. 
 We landed here, we know not why. 
 You've done your best, and so have I ; 
 And I propose to win a point. 
 Or knock both shoulders out of joint. 
 I feel in earnest now about it. 
 For notliing can be done without it; 
 Faint-hearted never yet has won, 
 And never will beneath the sun. 
 Yet great commanders, I well know, 
 With caution often go, and slow; 
 They make pretentions in the race. 
 And with deception win the case; 
 And when at last engaged in battle, 
 Tlieir foes, though stronger, fall like cattle. 
 Once in the war of seventy-six 
 Onr country's father played such tricks; 
 233 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 He made a feint to Clinton, and 
 Cornwallis fell at his command. 
 And thus surrendered all along 
 Some seven thousand soldiers strong, 
 Just what the country long hoped for 
 Amid the ravages of war. 
 And very soon the war was ended, 
 In terms the whole world has commended. 
 And now what I propose is this. 
 And think you'll find it not amiss 
 To make pretenses here in Hell, 
 And then these guides the truth will tell. 
 They'll lead us further in the light. 
 Until we see things coming right, 
 Then burst the bans that hold us here 
 And figure in a higher sphere. 
 When all the world will take a rest, 
 And we will be forever blest. 
 I'd tie a witch to my coat-tail. 
 And give ten thousand dollars' bail, 
 And eat five hundred bumble bees 
 Alive, if that would only please 
 The mystic maidens here below 
 Enougli to tell us where to go 
 234 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 That we may gain our liberty 
 And be again among the free." 
 "Well yes/" said I, "that^s just the rub. 
 It's like a wheel without a hub. 
 You know they'll not do that, of course, 
 For what we gain we gain by force. 
 Here milk and honey doesn't flow, 
 Xo, no, my boy, such things don't go. 
 The child that's born with silver spoon, 
 Like other people, dies too soon. 
 And dying then, like others must. 
 To mother earth returns to dust. 
 There are two fools, as I perceive. 
 The first, all things will he believe; 
 The second, all things will confute, 
 No matter good or bad repute ; 
 Between the two I'd rather steer 
 With caution, judging what I hear, 
 x\nd for these would-be gods, I'll say. 
 And you regard it as you may. 
 That though a different course we take. 
 Each for ourselves a bed must make, 
 And though you make your bed in Hell, 
 Yet I in Heaven hope to dwell. 
 235 
 
SKID AXD I 
 
 If woman once her virtues lose, 
 And though a ditferent course she choose, 
 In after years 'twill be the same, 
 Her guilty soul must bear the blame; 
 And though a well-bred man she wed, 
 And with him share her nuptial bed, 
 And dwell together as they will, 
 He's l)ound to doul)t her virtues still, 
 Vov God intended her to be 
 To man a type of purity. 
 An emblem of eternal trutii. 
 To guide the old and lead the youth. 
 Men may possess a stronger mind. 
 But none so pure as womankind. 
 God saw the wisdom in the start 
 To give to them a kinder heart 
 Tlian unto man, lirst made of clay. 
 Hence women are more kind than they. 
 But when one falls as these have done, 
 Pier race is then forever run. 
 For every thought in every heart 
 Of every soul becomes a part. 
 As every touch, though light it be. 
 Will send n shock throughout the tree; 
 236 
 
THE DEA^L IN CHAINS 
 
 And every tiny grain of sanr! 
 
 Is part and parcel of the land. 
 
 Hence I decide, if you do not, 
 
 To give to them hut little thought ; 
 
 And though I follow by their side. 
 
 My indignation Fll not hide." 
 
 ^Well, Paul, indeed, I'm tired of such ; 
 
 You fuss, and growl, and whine so much ; 
 
 You quite remind me now and then 
 
 Of the immortal fabled hen 
 
 That raises chickens only one, 
 
 But fights all else beneath the sun. 
 
 She^ll flop at this and then at that, 
 
 At first the dog, and then the cat, 
 
 And then with pride she clucks away, 
 
 As though she held the world at bay ; 
 
 And then, as if to make a show, 
 
 She^ll proudly flop her wings and crow. 
 
 And so with these two ladies fair, 
 
 No matter who they are nor where, 
 
 ITl not retract a word IVe said. 
 
 To please the living nor the dead." 
 
 237 
 
SKID AND 1 
 
 CHAPTER XV 
 
 THE GUIDES KETURX 1 ALLOW SILENCE TO GIVE CON- 
 SENT FOR SKID TO TAKE THE LEAD, AND HE AD- 
 DRESSES THEM WITH MUCH POMP — HE STOOPS TO 
 FLATTERY AND THEN INQUIRES THEIR PLACE OF 
 
 ABODE THE COLORED GIRL IS ABSENT, IN WH0:M 
 
 HE SEEMS VERY MUCH INTERESTED — SHE SAYS THE 
 BLIND don't LEAD THE BLIND, BUT IF WE WILL 
 FOLLOW HER SHE WILL LEAD US ON TO VICTORY — 
 SHE WARNS US OF THE HARDSHIPS THAT CONFRONT 
 US, AND URGES US TO PRESS FORWARD, WITH THE AS- 
 SURANCE TTIzVT THE DEVIL ACTS ONLY AS FATE 
 DECREES THAT HE SHALL MAN^S PHYSICAL CON- 
 DITION BEGAN WHEN ADAM. ACCEPTED ERROR IN- 
 STEAD OF TRUTH EVERY THOUGLIT AND ACTION OF 
 
 OUR PAST LIVES NOW CONFRONT US 1 BECAME 
 
 ANGRY AND ASKED HER SOME PLAIN QUESTIONS, AT 
 WHICH SHE TAKES OFFENSE AND TURNS TO LEAVE 
 
 SHE WARNS US AGAINST THE LOWEST PITS OF 
 
 HELL, THE FOUNTAIN SEAT OF CRIME. WHERE THE 
 ^38 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 DEVIL, POLYPOXTIUS^ GOES TO SLEEP SHE DE- 
 CLARES HER GOOD INTENTIONS AND REASSURES US 
 OF HER GOOD WILL AND HER DESIRE TO BE OUR 
 
 FRIEND ALL THINGS HAVE CHANGED VERY MUCH 
 
 SINCE WE CAME HERE — SHE TURNS TO LEAVE US^ 
 AND SKID FOLLOWS HER WILLINGLY, AND I, WITH 
 MUCH RELUCTANCE, FOLLOW AFTER THEM. 
 
 "Now, there, they're coming as before ; 
 If you'll be still Fll take the floor 
 And plead our case as best I can, 
 As friend to friend and man to man; 
 To make a name in such a turn 
 Is quite the least to my concern^ 
 For fame or fortune, I regret, 
 Is not the thing in Hell to get. 
 But I should like to try a tilt 
 To prove the matter to the hilt ; 
 You say agreed? Then here it goes, 
 To win a point or break my nose. 
 Guardians of Hell ! Goddess of Night ! 
 Direct, Fair Queen, our steps aright. 
 We've lost our bearing, well we know, 
 And now we know not where to go, 
 239 
 
SKID AND J 
 
 And here in such a place as this 
 We trust you'll lead iis not amiss; 
 We trnst to you with wanton gra(-e, 
 ^J'lie kindest offerings of our i-ace ; 
 W(] how our heads to a]] yoii say, 
 In kind oheisance^, as we may; 
 We trust your honor, and your grace, 
 To lead us from this awful place — 
 This dark and dismal houndless Hell, 
 Where ghastly demons ever dwell; 
 And through the lowing of their 1)reatli 
 Ti drives us almost unto death ; 
 We've confidence in all you've said, 
 Although a spectre of the dead. 
 But tell us, pray, from whence you came, 
 The ground you trod and what your name, 
 And your associates on Earth, 
 And when and where you had your hirth ; 
 And if it's not against your rule, 
 Pray tell us where you went to school; 
 And where your mortal ashes lay. 
 And if they have returned to clay; 
 And if fair lady, more you'd tell, 
 Why one so fair should he in Hell ? 
 240 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAINS 
 
 Such ladies fair we seldom meet, 
 But come, my dear, and talve a seat. 
 Discordia is your name, I see. 
 And you a goddess seem to be. 
 In Erebus, I see you dwell, 
 A pseudonym it is for Hell. 
 A sort of kindergarten, though. 
 Where suicides and murderers go. 
 But that don't matter where you've been, 
 Nor what was your besetting sin. 
 But what conspired to bring you here 
 To finite minds is not so clear. 
 But lest it should befog our brain. 
 Please pass it by and don't explain. 
 A pedigree, if you possess. 
 You'd better keep it too, I guess. 
 For that would be too much red tape 
 To utilize in any shape. 
 We pledge ourselves to do your will. 
 And to obey your orders still, 
 W^e'll bow to you and eat the dust. 
 To gain our freedom if we must. 
 But pray thy mercy on the wliole, 
 Because thy l)reatliings fill our soul. 
 241 
 
SKID AND 1 
 
 And though in darkness yet we mope, 
 While life continues there is hope. 
 We're troubled almost to despair, 
 To solve alone this dire affair. 
 And to be candid, now we find 
 It quite be3^ond a finite mind. 
 And much too deep and dark the span. 
 To be achieved by mortal man. 
 For supernatural one must be 
 To burst the bands and make us free, 
 And so we look to you to-day. 
 To map the route and lead the way; 
 And should the road bo rough and lon^ 
 Yet in the flesh we'll swell the throng. 
 As here you see us, late of Earth, 
 We can't explain our mystic birth. 
 Of what and whence we little know. 
 For chaos seems to rule below. 
 But why is this, but one to-day. 
 Why not the other one, I pray ? 
 A colored girl she was, I see. 
 But quite familiar seemed to be; 
 Her hair was aulmru, blue her eyes. 
 And we believe she's in disguise. 
 242 
 
THE DEVIL IX CHAINS 
 
 And if she is, pray tell iis why. 
 Was she not born like us to die ? 
 And what lier object, I can't see, 
 Concealing her identity.'' 
 'Give that no thought of any kind. 
 Because a friend in me you'll find, 
 x\nd one that knows whereof she speaks, 
 And 'tis your welfare that she seeks. 
 And if you'll follow my advice. 
 You'll gain your freedom in a trice. 
 Don't question me in what I do. 
 Because I'd die in serving you, 
 And more than that you shouldn't ask. 
 For men in prison can not bask 
 In pleasant sunshine as they please. 
 But serA^e their time out by degrees. 
 You've naught to do but act your part, 
 And half the victory's in the start; 
 By starting right you may succeed. 
 By starting wrong you'll fail indeed. 
 And though you'll many troubles find. 
 Yet here the blind don't lead the blind. 
 Then follow me, I'll lead you pray. 
 Through dark recesses far away ; 
 213 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 There's hardships, too, but that don't mind, 
 And sights obscene of every kind. 
 But this, for my sake don't forget. 
 What here you see you'll not regret; 
 You'll learn what all may thank you for. 
 Not won by conquest nor by war. 
 But this remember ere we start. 
 And let it sink deep in your heart. 
 And while the adage may seem old. 
 For that it never has grown cold. 
 It's simply this, *^A friend in need, 
 Is, best of all, a friend indeed.' 
 And surely in a time like this. 
 Without a friend you'll go amiss; 
 At times you'll almost doubt your sight. 
 And all the attributes of right. 
 And hesitating thus, it's plain. 
 You need a guide to lead the train, 
 O'er rocks and cliffs, and lava white, 
 Excrescence of the fulsome night. 
 Of bane distress, which now you find 
 The counterpart of mortal mind. 
 The wickedness of all the world. 
 Unto your mind may be unfurled. 
 244 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 You'll soon have reached the round below, 
 The lowest round of mental woe. 
 Though long and dreary be the night, 
 Put on the armor for the fight ; 
 And as we progress slow but sure, 
 You'll surely find no sinecure. 
 No resting place of any kind. 
 To bathe the soul nor soothe the mind; 
 And should your very souls depart, 
 Then still, I pray, don't prove faint heart. 
 For should you further still descend. 
 You'll find me faithful to the end. 
 And by my mother's grave I swear. 
 The blood that coursed her veins so fair. 
 The lips that prayed my soul to bless, 
 I'll never leave you in distress. 
 And as for that it's plain to see. 
 As anything in Hell could be. 
 That I have offered all that's fair. 
 And more than that, I wouldn't dare. 
 I came here many years ago 
 And passed through all the pangs of woe. 
 For here we're punished by degrees. 
 And not Just as the master please, 
 245 
 
SKID A^S^D I 
 
 For he is ruled by laws of fate, 
 And from them can not deviate, 
 Nor jot nor tittle can he go, 
 Though ruling quite supreme below. 
 Our past life's record stands on docket, 
 And long endurance must unlock it, 
 And on that record every act, 
 And every word and thought, in fact. 
 Axe there imprinted on it plain. 
 Enough to quite befog the brain/' 
 These simple thoughts ran through my mind ; 
 The simplest l)reathings of the kind. 
 And while they're short, I think it's fair, 
 To designate them as my prayer: 
 ^0, pardon all the world of grace. 
 That they may but avoid this place." 
 And while I stop to further pray. 
 Give heed, mankind, to what T say. 
 May Truth, not Error, take the lead. 
 And to my humble prayer give heed.. 
 For well I know of what I tell, 
 ^J'hough poor am T, and weak as well ; 
 For I went out to meet the foe. 
 And long I've drunk the dregs of woe. 
 246 
 
THE DEVIL IX CHAINS 
 
 But Fate, not Chance, has ruled my case, 
 And Truth will yet take Errors place. 
 'Twas Fate that mapped the route for me, 
 And Fate has made me what I be. 
 And many wiser men than I, 
 And better, too, I don't den}^ 
 Have learned that what I say is true; 
 They did what Fate compelled them to. 
 What Shakespeare said along that line 
 Most perfectly my thoughts define. 
 There is a destiny that rules, 
 Xot taught by precept nor in schools, 
 And though rough hew them as we will, 
 'Tis destiny that rules us still. 
 There's Pope and Milton, Gray and Burns, 
 Each one deserving praise by turns, 
 For what they've said, and what they've done, 
 And thoughts they've garnered one by one; 
 For all they've said as friend to friend. 
 The World is better in the end. 
 And should I tell you all I could, 
 You'd not believe me if I should. 
 Hence, I shall stop to pray no more. 
 But tell my story as l)efore. 
 24T 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 "Then where/' said I, "pray, would yon go ? 
 Would you our liberty bestow, 
 And lead us back to old Wild Cat, 
 A¥here people live, and free, at that? 
 Where stands the homestead on the hill? 
 I, in my fancy, see it still; 
 I see the fishes in the brook. 
 Where once we caught them with a hook. 
 Is this what youM have us believe, 
 And say you mean not to deceive? 
 If so, why then, don't you go free 
 On Earth again as well as we ? 
 You say the blind don't lead the blind. 
 And if they don't, please be so kind. 
 To tell us how such power was given. 
 If not from Hell nor yet from Heaven ; 
 You supernatural then must be, 
 If not your flesh, the same as we. 
 And while I may conclude amiss. 
 Yet, plainly stated, it is this. 
 That by the logic of the case. 
 Your story's false, upon its face. 
 And if they're false, tlien you're a fraud, 
 And as a consequence outlawed. 
 248 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 Your mission is^ I'm free to say, 
 Misrepresented here to-day, 
 And while yon'd liave us graze along 
 lyike cattle, with the motley throng, 
 A different thought you've preconceived, 
 By which you'd have us be deceived. 
 You vjily serpent, that you are. 
 The loivest demon yet, by far, 
 A representative in Hell, 
 And few could represent so well. 
 The Devil here in all his hate 
 Tovmrd w,anh'nd and his estate. 
 Though- vjoman. here, you claim to he. 
 You're in the mire as deep as he. 
 You'd, curse mankind from pole to pole. 
 Then coming here you'd curse his .soul. 
 No! no! indeed, T you defy. 
 To heed your counsel means to die. 
 To die in ignominy, too. 
 As all must do who follow you. 
 Can you, or would you this deny, 
 Or would you such a thought imply? 
 And would you have us follow on. 
 Until the last fond hope is gone ? 
 249 
 
SKID AND ] 
 
 And like the merest babes of Earth, 
 Thy dictates folloAv as from birth, 
 Nor call in question yonr intent, 
 No matter when, nor wlierc you went? 
 If so, I enter my protest, 
 Defy the gods and all the rest ; 
 For all your chatter and your talk, 
 Is like a magpie on the walk. 
 For though you rant, as rant you will. 
 The God of Heaven rules us still. 
 You^^e sworn to all the sacred laws. 
 To drag us deeper in the cause. 
 YouVe sworn unto your mother's tomb, 
 Her sacred lips and e'en her womb. 
 Her last sad resting place on Earth ; 
 And e'en the laws that gave you birth. 
 Were not too sacred in the end. 
 To swear you'd be our fervent friend. 
 Though curses are they intertwined; 
 Your thoughts to me are well defined, 
 I've tried you by the laws of love, 
 When guided by the God above; 
 And when thus tried by laws divine, 
 You are the Devil's concubine ; 
 250 
 
THE DEVIL IX CHAms 
 
 J/o.s7 low, disgruntled and obscene, 
 The lowest, meanest of the mean. 
 And now a word to 3'ou, dear Skid, 
 To follow her, may God forbid. 
 I know, and you will shortly find 
 The hell-bound thoughts she has in mind 
 The lowest imps of Hell control 
 The lien she's taken on your soul. 
 Just as the spider does the fly, 
 She weaves the web, and l)y and by, 
 When all too late for 3^ou to pray, 
 Or. change 3'Our course in any way ; 
 Then deprecate it as you will, 
 You'll find yourself a victim still, 
 And be as one among the throng. 
 To praise the Devil loud and long. 
 And, speaking to you as a brother. 
 As earnest as an angel mother, 
 I warn you here, don't be too fast. 
 Or you will rue it to the last. 
 And though she weaves the subtle web. 
 You help entwine them round your head, 
 For if the Devil you resent. 
 He can't impose the punishment. 
 251 
 
SKID ANT) J 
 
 Von ai-(.' a irioi'al agent free. 
 As (lod iiitejided man to he; 
 And if we set oui-selves aright, 
 Tlien f|iiickly darkness turns to light; 
 For darkness can not light destroy, 
 But just a ray of light employ, 
 And darkness will at once depart, 
 'J'hough in a room or in the heart. 
 There^s hut one course that 1 can .see, 
 For things to he are hound to he, 
 And so all things are for the best, 
 To make mankind profoundly hlest. 
 The time has come when we should act, 
 And act with vengeance, too, in fact, 
 Proclaim our course, defend our right. 
 And follow not the gods of night. 
 It's a delusion and a snare, 
 1 warn you, fSkid, heware, heware ! 
 So you decide, then I am done; 
 IVe wished you well, since you begun. 
 I meant to serve you at your will. 
 But grope your way in darkness still; 
 There is a deep that has no end. 
 Be careful lest you there descend, 
 252 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 A place well named the Cavern Deep, 
 Where Polypontius goes to sleep. 
 Now, mark my word, and meditate, 
 If there you land 'twill seal your fate ; 
 The magic key of Hell is there, 
 Secreted, none but him knows where. 
 And should a mortal it behold. 
 Their very bones will turn to mold. 
 Their very beings prove a liar; 
 Their eyeballs turn to molten fire. 
 Their hearts will cease, to beat no more. 
 When on that soul-cursed, hell-bound shore. 
 The base, malignant pits of Hell, 
 Where souls, self-cursed, are wont to dwell. 
 And should you go, and go alone, 
 The fault is yours and not my own. 
 You take tKe risk, upon the whole. 
 And as you fail, you damn your soul ; 
 You irretrievably are lost, 
 N'or can you turn nor count the cost. 
 For profit here and loss don't go, 
 Nor tare, nor discount, no ! no ! no ! 
 Each one is reckoned by the head, 
 As here they come, they make their bed. 
 253 
 
SKTT) AXD T 
 
 And though 'tis the immortal soul, 
 You still must answer to the roll. 
 Nor can you cliango one jot nor tittle, 
 Nor modify though e'er so little; 
 As two and two combined make four. 
 Did, does, and will forevenuore. 
 The trusted imps within tliat place, 
 Are quite the oldest of our race. 
 They've been here full six tliousand years. 
 And some much longer, it appears. 
 Rut how time passes you can't tell. 
 For there's no record kept in Hell. 
 Yet, by appearance, it is plain. 
 That here you've labored long in vain. 
 For here you came when seventeen, 
 Now more than forty years you've seen. 
 And soon, perhaps, to your surprise. 
 The lustre will have left your eyes. 
 And though your hair is dark to-day. 
 It, too, will soon be streaked with gray. 
 And when you meet your friends again, 
 You'll marvel at the wondrous span, 
 That seems to reach, as I infer. 
 When liappy family once you were, 
 254 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAINS 
 
 With father, mother, brothers, sister. 
 First mother went, and how you missed her. 
 But things don't look as they did then, 
 For you were boys and now you're men. 
 And when you pass from here to Earth, 
 You'll scarcely know your place of birth. 
 The old log-house has tumbled down. 
 And things of childhood can't be found ; 
 The old familiar pump of blue 
 Has been replaced by something new. 
 The sugar orchards, too, they say. 
 Have long since all been cleared away. 
 The fields where once you loved to plow, 
 Are looking very different now. 
 Where water stood the year around, 
 In ponds it now can not be found. 
 Their greatest crops they now produce 
 Where black the soil, and fresh, and loose. 
 And fences now are made of pickets. 
 Enclosing what were grown-up thickets; 
 And corn and pumpkins may be found. 
 Where forest occupied the ground ; 
 And houses now for learning stand, 
 And worshij^, too, all o'er the land. 
 255 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 Electric sparks are harnessed^ too. 
 The noble horses' work to do. 
 A track of steel is now laid down, 
 With wire connections near the ground, 
 And overhead a strand of Avire, 
 Which sends forth the electric fire. 
 And drives the cars, a dozen or more. 
 From city to city, from shore to shore. 
 In short, it all is different now. 
 From toothpick to a riding plow. 
 Your friends are passing every day. 
 And some are lingering on the way. 
 A very few came here like you, 
 But quite a different course pursue. 
 But, pardon me, I've stayed too long, 
 I meant it not to do you wrong. 
 And I shall now no longer stay. 
 Take my advice or go your way. 
 I wish you well in all you do. 
 With kind regards forever true." 
 Thus said, she slowl}^ tripped along. 
 And chanted a familiar song. 
 My feelings then, I can't explain. 
 Because so dizzy was my brain, 
 256 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 So disconnected everything, 
 So like a serpent did it sting. 
 All things appeared an empty span, 
 Here seen not since this race began. 
 My instinct almost seemed to fail, 
 And her inflnence to prevail ; 
 And weaker now and more obscure. 
 My mind became it to endure. 
 When Skid departed by her side. 
 And thus the doors threw open wide; 
 Dear reader see him as he goes, 
 And is it strange my heart overflows? 
 Of all mankind of whom I knew. 
 There wasn't one I loved so true. 
 For him I there sat down and cried; 
 For him alone I would have died. 
 Three times for him I tried to pray. 
 Three times I faltered what to sa}'. 
 When instinct taught me as a friend, 
 ^Tis the beginning of the end." 
 And how I listened to its voice, 
 It would have caused me to rejoice. 
 But stubborn, perverse, poor, weak man, 
 I reasoned, and went wrong again. 
 257 
 
se:id and I 
 
 I since have learjied, in such a test, 
 M}^ first impressions are the best, 
 For God directs ns all the way, 
 If we but listen and ol)ey. 
 A furlong they had gone, or more, 
 When overcome as ne'er before. 
 By force of circumstances here, 
 I broke the faith that seemed so dear. 
 And what I did, I did in haste. 
 Because there seemed no time to waste. 
 And while some action was required. 
 By sense of wrong I was inspired. 
 Twas not the perfect mind that led, 
 And of a truth it might be said, 
 I did just what one might suppose. 
 By yielding partly to my foes. 
 And gladly would I now convince 
 You how I've suffered for it since. 
 And here, to state it plain, I know. 
 Myself I can't excuse, although, 
 Eeluctantly, as you'd infer. 
 Instinctively, I followed her. 
 I lacked for courage in the case 
 To meet the Devil face to face. 
 258 
 
THE DEVIL IX CHAINS 
 
 As mortal seemed to lead I went, 
 
 And great has been mv punishment, 
 
 I'd been deserted in the end, 
 
 By Skid, my dear, devoted friend. 
 
 The one I long had loved so well. 
 
 Had now forsaken me in Hell. 
 
 He turned his back and walked away. 
 
 And scorned me when I tried to pray ; 
 
 He'd l)een transformed into a beast — 
 
 A Spirit demon, to say the least — 
 
 And all so suddenly it came, 
 
 I bowed my head and sobbed with shame; 
 
 Nor did I try to hide my grief, 
 
 For oft in tears there's sweet relief. 
 
 Thus left alone and feeling blue. 
 
 And undecided what to do, 
 
 I whistled till I made it ring, 
 
 And then in vain, I tried to sing. 
 
 But when that failed to give relief, 
 
 I bowed my head again in grief. 
 
 And those who suffered thus, assured 
 
 Can tell what my poor heart endured. 
 
 'Zyj 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 CHAPTER XVI 
 
 'SHE TURNS TO ME AND ASKS IE SHE IS TO BE MY 
 GUIDE, AND WAIiNS ME OE THE IMMENSITY OE THE 
 
 OOUKSE WE ARE ABOUT TO ENTER ON TELLS ME OE 
 
 THE MANY HAIJDSHIPS TO ENCOUNTER 1 AN- 
 SWER BY ASKING A EEW PERTINENT QUESTIONS, AND 
 
 THEN SILENTLY EOLLOW THEM SHE DESCRIBES 
 
 THE DEEP, DARK, NARROW PASSAGE-WAY DOWN 
 THROUGH BACCHAUS TOWN TO THE LOWEST PITS OE 
 
 HELL ALREADY' ALLUDED TO WE STARTED DOWN 
 
 THE AWFUL DESCENT, WHEN WE SHORTLY" FIND 
 OURSELVES HEMMED IN BY DEEP CHASMS ON 
 EITHER SIDE AND THE DEVIL IN ALL HIS FURY 
 
 BEHIND US A SCENE AND A CONTROVERSY TAKES 
 
 PLACE IN WHICH I FAINT, AND SKID AND THE 
 
 FALSE GUIDE DESERT ME^ 1 AWAKE AND FIND THAT 
 
 I AM BEING PUNISHED FOR MY OWN WRONGS IN 
 FOLLOWING THEM. 
 
 'Now, walking slowly on the way, 
 My soul too guilty quite to pray, 
 ^60 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 And as I slowly walked along, 
 And watched at will the motleyed throng, 
 j\Iy very breathings filled with guilt, 
 Until I felt my soul won Id wilt, 
 Beneath the pressure of the strain, 
 That now Avas rushing through my brain. 
 While thus I watched, she turned with pride, 
 And said then, ^'Shall I ])e your guide? 
 And shall I lead you on, I pray, 
 Through dark recesses far away. 
 Where all the fumes of Hell appear. 
 And cries of demons rend your ear? 
 The way is of immense degrees. 
 With much to fear, but not to please. 
 There's naught to covet, all to shun ; 
 But bide your time since it's begun. 
 And while obeisance I shall ask. 
 Yet I'll impose no heavy task, 
 I'll ask no favors, great or small. 
 But to obey me, that is all. 
 What I command you must obey. 
 And acquiesce in all I say. 
 And if you don't you'll surely be 
 Like jetsam floating on the sea. 
 261 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 The holies you now may entertain. 
 You'll shortly find are all in vain, 
 Hence follow me in what 1 say, 
 And to me simple homage pay. 
 For you can see as well as 1, 
 That incognito means to die, 
 And that applies to me and you, 
 Hence, what I say and do are true." 
 'Well, that,'' said 1, "is quite enough, 
 If binding were, it might be rough. 
 If thus we bow unto your will, 
 We'll be compelled to serve you still, 
 And in the end 'twill be the same. 
 Our guilty soul must bear the blame." 
 "Well, discipline," she said, "you see. 
 Is all important here to me, 
 And were it not so, I should fail, 
 And all the laws of Hell prevail. 
 If silence, then, shall give consent, 
 ITl then explain what here is meant. 
 Now this road leads to Bacchaus Town, 
 Where new arrivals all are found. 
 A passage dark we first descend. 
 Which seems at first to have no end. 
 
THE DEVIL IInT CHAINS 
 
 A narrow boulevard made of stone, 
 To serve the Devil and his own ; 
 Just wide enough for two abreast, 
 As we proceed you'll learn the rest. 
 With endless chasms on each side, 
 In endless space they open wide. 
 With broken rocks in bold relief, 
 And shrieks enough to make one deaf, 
 With melted lava here and there. 
 And cries for mercy everywhere. 
 But give no heed to what you hear, 
 Because your liberty is near." 
 Now if my readers will refrain 
 From asking it, 1*11 not explain. 
 At least, not in minutiae fine. 
 Imposing on your time and mine. 
 For surely there a pleasant sight 
 Was not presented day nor night. 
 And, as I said, I'll not explain. 
 Too great the task, too small the gain ; 
 Besides the world would say, "Thou fool," 
 If I should break my stubborn rule, 
 Or deviate from plans matured 
 To win a point not well secured. 
 263 
 
8KTD ATs^D T 
 
 We'd walk a furlong, but no more, 
 Along that time-worn, soul-cursed floor. 
 Where every imp in Hell had been 
 To read the records of their sin. 
 AVhen of a sudden in the rear. 
 This language greeted every ear, 
 Most indescribably it cried, 
 W^hile fire flashed on every side. 
 In dire confusion all arose. 
 And struck their breasts most furious blows, 
 And danced about like Bedlamites, 
 To mystify their mystic rites. 
 And in the midst of all the din. 
 To add enchantment to the sin. 
 The Devil further launches out. 
 And every inmate faced about. 
 And every imp appeared to know. 
 That something wrong had gone below. 
 And to inspire the whole concern, 
 He them addressed, then us by turn : 
 'Tis flesh and Mood I think I smell, 
 Why such intruders here in Hell? 
 How dare they thus to show their face. 
 Against (lie prpcepts of this place? 
 264 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAI^TS 
 
 And must my peace he broken thus. 
 And would they wage a war on us f 
 Or luould they call in question here, 
 A life that's been to me so dear? 
 ril settle that. Arise! my men! 
 Stand firm, ye gods; be ready when 
 I chance to call tliee at thy post. 
 To hurl from Hell this ivorldly host. 
 How dare they cross my royal path? 
 How dare they trifle with my wrath? 
 Can they behold the fumes of Hell, 
 And know they're here, my ranhs to swell? 
 I'll crush them dowx upon the whole, 
 I'll banish them all but the soul. 
 'Tis but the soul with which I deal. 
 And it to me I'll force to kneel; 
 I'll reach the limit of the law, 
 Which God did not but I foresaw; 
 I neither plant, nor reap, nor sow, 
 Nor stop to reason here below. 
 I view all Hell as but my own. 
 And rule at pleasure on my throne. 
 And while the worlds upon their poles 
 Revolve, 111 punish human souls. 
 265 
 
SKID AND T 
 
 Nor will I cater to their song, 
 Nor mercy show the weak nor strong. 
 I know no mercy for the weak. 
 Hence, on their souls I'll vengeance wreak. 
 I think I saw them once hefore, 
 Not many years past, ten or more ; 
 Most impudently then they dared 
 To face me, yet their lives I spared. 
 And for my kindness this T get. 
 But I'll wreak vengeance on them yet. 
 I mean to conquer them to-day, 
 1^11 Heaven move or have my way. 
 I'll criu^h the moon, and all beside. 
 Before I yield one spark of pride. 
 How dare siicli bipeds come as tJiey, 
 And hid defiance in this ivay? 
 Turn loose the gates, no longer tarry. 
 Delay's no longer necessary. 
 Bring out the hose, prepare the ropes, 
 I've consummated all my hopes. 
 And noiv I'll vindicate 7mj cause, 
 And punish Nature and her laws. 
 Ohsta principiis Me judice, 
 As Caesar fell he fore his Brutus, 
 266 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAINS 
 
 /S'o /'// decide this case in Hell, 
 And punish all mankind as ivell. 
 Prepare to spirit them away. 
 Where all from Earth are doomed to lay. 
 And well they should when coming here, 
 For this is plainly not their sphere. 
 I have no mercy, as I said, 
 In palliation for the dead. 
 And when they come here in the flesh, 
 It riles my anger all afresh; 
 Hence, every poiver within my role, 
 ril ivrcak upon their guilty soul. 
 All hail ! I tell thee, heed my call! 
 Strike doivn the culprits, one and all! 
 Strike ! Strike ! I tell thee, cursed of Earth, 
 Where God my soul has cursed from birth. 
 Revenge is mine for all time past, 
 I'll damn their souls until the last — " 
 'Hold! Hold!" our angry guardian cried, 
 'These gates tvere open, we're inside. 
 And though these walls may tumble down. 
 We'll go our ivay through RaccJiaus Town. 
 We'll linger not, nor luill we pause. 
 Nor longer will ire heed your laws; 
 267 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 iSTor will we trifle with thy court, 
 No matter what be thy report. 
 The time has come when thee shall fall, 
 And peace shall reign for one and all. 
 Now, we defy thee in thy might. 
 And all thy cohorts, honors bright. 
 We ask no favors at thy hand. 
 As God decrees so we shall stand. 
 And though we linger on the way. 
 You must and shall remain at bay. 
 The great millennium is at hand. 
 When God alone shall rule the land. 
 And all will then in Heaven dwell. 
 And you alone be found in Hell. 
 The chain long since has been prepared ; 
 The God of Heaven so declared. 
 And in proportion to your \vrong, 
 Of triple linked it is and strong. 
 And though resist it as you will, 
 A thousand years 'twill hold you still.'^ 
 At this the Devil grew more fierce. 
 As if he meant our souls to pierce, 
 And quick as thought he gave a bound, 
 And all Hell seemed to whirl around, 
 268 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAINS 
 
 Which caused our weary heads to swim. 
 Our hearts grew sick, our eyes grew dim. 
 And then what followed, I can't tell, 
 Nor what was done, nor what hefell. 
 Nor how much time was spent because. 
 We lost all force of Nature's laws. 
 But this I know and frankly say, 
 Unconsciously, we mutely lay. 
 How long we lay I can't surmise, 
 But things looked still more in disguise, 
 On waking from that blessed swoon, 
 And I regret, I woke too soon. 
 For trouble seldom comes alone, 
 But always claims more than its own. 
 And while you might anticipate, 
 Yet read and learn my awful fate. 
 But think me not effeminate. 
 Because I now began to fret, 
 I stooped to vice and folly too, 
 And fell a victim, it is true. 
 And when the wily guide me sought, 
 I knew, but did not as I ought. 
 I, doubting, turned to view my life. 
 And suffered much as did Lot's wife. 
 269 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 And though Skid went, Hwas all the same, 
 I doubted and I bear the blame. 
 Keluctantly, when they had gone, 
 Much like a dog I followed on. 
 Until the error of my course. 
 Is at me hurled with all its force. 
 Which causes me to blush with shame, 
 To even think, or write my name. 
 My troubles lasted much too long. 
 Besides, the pressure was too strong, 
 To be prostrated by the weight. 
 With most of men had been their fate. 
 For stronger minds, I must confess. 
 Would now have yielded 'neatli the stress; 
 The strongest plants succumb to heat. 
 And strongest minds have met defeat. 
 And many better than Vye been 
 Have fallen victims unto sin. 
 But Grod be with me that I may 
 Not to temptation now give way, 
 And yield the point I've here begun, 
 So nearly and so dearly won ; 
 And though forsaken as I may, 
 I'm bound to see a better day, 
 270 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAINS 
 
 1^11 die alone^ if die I must. 
 And unlamented turn to dust. 
 I've met defeat in many waj^s, 
 And disajDpointments all my days, 
 But none so bad, from end to end. 
 As this, to lose my last dear friend. 
 My life consisted, in the main, 
 Of frequent loss, but little gain. 
 To folly vain, I oft gave way, 
 And unsuspecting went astray. 
 I chased about, as some men will, 
 But all the time sank deeper still. 
 With error leading off in mind. 
 The idle vaporings of mankind. 
 At times I soared in upper deep, 
 Then, as it were, I'd go to sleep, 
 I'd sink much deeper than before. 
 As people thought, to rise no more. 
 But counting every up and down. 
 From Wild Cat here to Bacchaus Town, 
 And counting everything at cost. 
 And everything but Heaven lost. 
 Except my children, bless their souls, 
 For whom I'd wade fire to the poles, 
 271 
 
SKID AND J 
 
 ^\.nd further still, if that could be, 
 From Heaven's Gate to Calvar}-, 
 Where Jesus died to expiate 
 The wrongs that should Ijecomc my fate, 
 And make for me a home on high. 
 Where souls of mankind never die. 
 By counting all in fine, I say. 
 Since first I saw the light of day. 
 Since first my voice was heard to cry, 
 And I was born on Earth to die. 
 Since first I breathed the breath of life. 
 And I began my worldly strife, 
 I'd never met with one defeat. 
 That left me prostrate so complete, 
 Nor hurt me half so bad to tell. 
 As Skid's desertion here in Hell. 
 And true to Nature, I perceive. 
 At first I couldn't quite believe 
 That he had served me as he did. 
 My bosom friend, my loved one. Skid. 
 And so it is with mortal mind. 
 We can not see because we're blind ; 
 By error we've been ruled so long. 
 It's part and parcel of our song. 
 272 
 
THE DEVIL liST CHAINS 
 
 But Skid had gone, I knew not where, 
 And as for that I now don't care. 
 And tried to think so then, at least, 
 Till indignation with me ceased. 
 Then sombre sadness o'er me came. 
 And from my mind I dropped his name. 
 His name for me, I tried to think 
 In deep oblivion should sink. 
 And yet a feeling for his soul 
 I had, that I could not control. 
 My mind seemed shattered and abused; 
 To form conclusions it refused. 
 It came and went much like the tide. 
 Sometimes 'twould rise and then subside. 
 And what I did I scarcely know. 
 In such a mental state of woe. 
 I begged for just one mutual friend. 
 Who would one word of comfort send. 
 Unto my soul, all broken down. 
 By friends deserting all around. 
 I'll go in secret now and pray; 
 I'll pray that God may be my stay. 
 And not forsake me in this hour, 
 Nor turn me o'er to Satan's power. 
 273 
 
8KID AND I 
 
 In this sad hour^ I'll offer prayer. 
 That I may be his constant care; 
 That He may not desert me^ too. 
 As poor, weak man is wont to do; 
 That I may be joint heir with Christ, 
 Though all things else be sacrificed ; 
 That I may live a better life. 
 Before I end this awfnl strife. 
 Remember me, I prayed again ; 
 'Tis but the miglit of poor, weak man, 
 And though I falter to the end, 
 Remember me, unerring friend. 
 My whole life now, it seemed to me. 
 Was placed on canvas plain to see, 
 Where every word and evei'v tliought. 
 In ink indelible was wrought 
 By hand infallible — divine; 
 And then I saw a name — 'twjis mine. 
 At first I thought it couldn't be, 
 The name was never meant for me ; 
 Another answered to the same, 
 Some other mortal bore the name. 
 Some other mortal in soiue way. 
 As I have done, luid gone astra}'. 
 274 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 I scanned the long, ancestral line. 
 But found uo other name but mine; 
 No others led as I had been, 
 No others suffered so from sin; 
 Not one beneath the shining sun 
 Had suffered just as I had done. 
 I prayed again, upon the whole. 
 To God, the Author of my soul. 
 That all my sins might be forgiven. 
 And gain at last a home in Heaven. 
 
 275 
 
SKID AND 1 
 
 CHAPTER XVII 
 
 THE RECORD OF MY ENTIRE LIFE IS PRESENTED ON 
 
 CANVAS WITH MY NAME PLAINLY WRITTEN 1 
 
 GAZED WITH SHAME ON THE ACTS AND THOUGHTS 
 
 OF MY PAST LIFE 1 SAW MYSELF IN CHILDHOOD 
 
 AS I ADVANCED IN Y KAR8 THK SCENE BECAME LESS 
 AND LESS PJ.EASING^ UNTIL I BECAME BEWILDERED 
 
 AT THE SIGHT AND I BEGAN TO PRAY FOR RELIEF 
 
 I BEGAN TO REALIZE MY OWN NOTHINGNESS ^I 
 
 FORGAVE ALL MY FOES AND LEARNED TO MY SORROW 
 THAT MY GREAT MISTAKE IN LIFE WAS YIELDING 
 TO THE APPEALS OF ERROR, AND THAT THE ONLY 
 THING FOR ME TO DO NOW IS TO TAKE A STRAIGHT 
 
 COURSE AHEAD NO CHILD's PLAY TO BE THE 
 
 devil's guest HELL IS A CONDITION, NOT A LOCA- 
 TION ; IT IS DISCORD, OR ERROR, WHEREVER FOUND. 
 
 My life had not been very bad, 
 And yet to read it made me sad. 
 To there review what I had done; 
 Tlio wronsrs T did since life begnn, 
 276 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAINS 
 
 The many things from which I'd hide, 
 
 And from their presence turn aside; 
 
 The steps I took at every turn, 
 
 I there reviewed the whole concern, 
 
 And mortal tongue can not explain, 
 
 The self convictions of my brain. 
 
 I saw so little on the roll 
 
 To please the Author of my soul. 
 
 That in the stigma of disgrace, 
 
 I tried in vain to hide my face. 
 
 I saw my thoughts in childhood's play. 
 
 When mother watched me every day; 
 
 My thoughts in tottering 'cross the floor 
 
 To chase the eat, or close the door. 
 
 Or roll a marble, or a ball. 
 
 Or mark with pencil on the wall. 
 
 I saw them give me this or that ; 
 
 Sometimes, perhaps, the brindle cat. 
 
 At other times a rattle-box. 
 
 While yet they dressed me in my frocks. 
 
 There in that state of childish play, 
 
 I saw myself from day to day. 
 
 And in my infancy I saw 
 
 Them often please me with a straw; 
 277 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 And in convulsions almost go. 
 At children running to and fro. 
 I saw me playing with m}' toes, 
 When first they dressed me in short clothes ; 
 The stubby shoes I didn't wear, 
 For babies then went feet a-bare. 
 I cooed as babies do to-day. 
 And acted like them every way. 
 And other things I'll not explain 
 Were pictured there upon my brain. 
 There's one thing, though, I'll tell you, yet, 
 I'd let it pass, but can't forget ; 
 'Tis this — my childhood seemed so bright, 
 Not one dark spot, but all was right. 
 The works of God were written there. 
 And not a ripple anywhere. 
 To sum it up, my childhood days, 
 Were all that merit any praise. 
 I'd from it gladly gravitate, 
 For kicks and cuffs have been my fate. 
 And while T did the best I could, 
 I didn't do just as T should. 
 But few men live, as I presume. 
 So perfect as to leave no room, 
 ^78 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAINS 
 
 For evil ones to pick a flaAv 
 With what you did and what they saw. 
 Fault finding is with man a curse, 
 With women it is even worse. 
 They seem — but stop, lest I should fall, 
 And he who does must forfeit all 
 The promises from God to man. 
 Since Adam lived and time began. 
 But God intended me to do 
 Just what I've written here for you. 
 As things he does of like concern. 
 For writing rhymes men never learn. 
 'Tis born within, by God inspired; 
 'Tis never learned, nor yet acquired. 
 Ransack the books from "A" to "Z/' 
 And study authors, who they be. 
 In blank or rhyme, just as you may. 
 From Homer to the present day. 
 Take Gay, or Milton, Pope or Burns, 
 And analyze their lines by turns. 
 And as you find tliem true to name, 
 A poet's born, not made tlie same. 
 And while I've written it in rhyme, 
 I hope you'll spend a little time 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 In reading it, my thoughts to gain, 
 Because IVe tried to make it plain. 
 But I've another word to sa}^ 
 About myself in childhood's day : 
 I saw myself in knee-pants dressed, 
 With leghorn hat, and coat and vest. 
 I now began to feel more proud, 
 And then, of course, to talk aloud. 
 And in a similar degree. 
 The case less pleasing was to me. 
 I then began to seek relief, 
 As with the Savior did the thief. 
 And on my knees to God I prayed, 
 That further troubles be allayed. 
 "0, God of Heaven,'' thus I said, 
 "Am I the living or the dead ? 
 Am I in Heaven, on Earth, or Hell ? 
 It's too complex for me to tell. 
 T.ord, pardon me of all my wrong. 
 And give to me a sweeter song. 
 I'm here confounded, for I'm weak, 
 x\nd now a Savior's love I seek. 
 I see the folly of my youth, 
 Tlie richest blessings of Thy truth, 
 280 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 And though I've sunk to deepest Hell, 
 I still have faith with Thee to dwell. 
 I'm poor, and weak, and blind. Thou see. 
 And friends have all forsaken me; 
 And as a consequence, I find 
 Myself despised by all mankind. 
 And while I've naught to offer Thee, 
 My soul is precious, still, to me; 
 Then bless my soul, and all beside, 
 For whom the Savior bled and died. 
 And when 'tis pleasing in Thy sight, 
 And I have learned to walk aright. 
 Then lift me from this mortal plain. 
 That life be not to me in vain." 
 Thus said, I felt much more at ease. 
 More self-confiding by degrees. 
 And then a still, small A^oice replied: 
 '^Be not discouraged, but confide 
 In Him, alone. Who rules the world. 
 And better things will be unfurled." 
 This adage you should bear in mind. 
 And for your soul there's food you^ll find. 
 The darkest hours precede the day. 
 Then courage take and go your way; 
 281 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 Put on your armor for the fight, 
 Through faith in Jesus all is right, 
 i^ow, rising up, erect I stood, 
 Kesolved to do the best I could, 
 To fight my wa}' against all odds, 
 ])efy the Devil and his gods, 
 And make my exit whence I came, 
 Forgive my foes, and friends the same. 
 For things that once were meant for wrong, 
 I'xQ long since woven into song, 
 A]id if they relish what IVe said, 
 Then may these lines live when I^m dead ; 
 For I forgive my every foe, 
 Xo matter when or where I go, 
 For I had faults as well as they ; 
 I then did wrong and yet I may. 
 What then I did I can't recall ; 
 My foes I now forgive — that's all. 
 If they forgive me what I did, 
 ITl not repeat them, God forbid. 
 But one mistake of fleeting years. 
 For which I still shed copious tears : 
 'Twas yielding to a crafty guide, 
 Wliich l)loeked my way on every side. 
 2S2 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 With no alternate in the case, 
 But go ahead a steady pace, 
 And looking here and there around, 
 My way still lay tlirough Bacchaus Town. 
 The way is dismal, dark, and drear. 
 And smoke begrimed all things appear, 
 And on each side for miles away. 
 The fumes of Hell like mountains lay, 
 While on their crests huge serpents roll. 
 And send their stench from pole to pole. 
 To my chagrin my eyes were closed 
 To demons dark and deadly foes, 
 And things that I before could see. 
 By rumbling sounds were known to me, 
 Which served to make things even worse, 
 And rendered life still more a curse. 
 And still, to add to my chagrin, 
 I proved the butt of all their sin. 
 An aspect odd, as I suppose, 
 A man of earth in human clothes ; 
 They stuck their fingers in my face. 
 Then to deride me offered grace, 
 And further still, to aggravate, 
 And to remind me of my fate, 
 283 
 
SKID AND J 
 
 And fill their cup of fiendish hliss, 
 They cried, by turn, "What dude is this ?" 
 Another dared to brush my clothes, 
 And said, "He's got a Roman nose, 
 And on his forehead there's a wen," 
 Which made me mad, like most of men ; 
 "And on his head the hair is thin, 
 And whiskers few are on his cliiii."' 
 At that allusion, I declare. 
 That I began to almost swear ; 
 I smacked my fists and stamped my feet, 
 And dared them not it to repeat. 
 And though the rankest kind of bluff. 
 It worked, and that was quite enough ; 
 It proved effective, just the same. 
 And made them dread and fear my name. 
 But still T heai'd them uj) and down. 
 While tra\'eling on Ihroiigh Bacchaus Town. 
 Some laughed derisive in my ear. 
 Which made me fairly quake with fear, 
 And almost trembled at the thought 
 Of doing what my instinct taught. 
 Would ultimately lead apace 
 From all the horrors of the case; 
 284 
 
thp: devil IX chaixs 
 
 ^I V nervous system was unstrung, 
 And for relief my hands I wning, 
 And at this point I must admit 
 To taking a spasmodic fit, 
 A punishment, perhaps, for alJ, 
 For yielding somewhat to my gall, 
 And when my conscience I regained 
 My person and my clothes were stained 
 With filth and dirt of every kind. 
 That one here might expect to find; 
 Besides my imprint on the ground 
 Was there, with imps all standing around. 
 A sickening odor seemed to fl[ow. 
 And by degrees to stronger grow. 
 Until I felt that I must wrench 
 Myself from that inhuman stench. 
 For stench it was, when plainly told. 
 And not a thing on Earth could hold 
 Comparison to odors down 
 In that foul place of Bacchaus Town. 
 I pushed myself still further on. 
 Until my breath was almost gone. 
 It made me cough, and sneeze, and — well, 
 It best bespeaks me not to tell, 
 285 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 But draw your inference as you please ; 
 But if you go there you will sneeze. 
 But that^s irrelevant^ I guess; 
 I've deviated, I'll confess. 
 In subject-matter and in thought; 
 The last few lines may go for naught, 
 But just a little spice I'm bound 
 To say you'd like in Bacchaus Town. 
 I'd traveled twenty miles or more, 
 And feet and hands were getting sore, 
 So I sat down to rest a bit 
 And think what best to make of it. 
 And while the problem is unsolved. 
 For truths not finite are involved. 
 Yet this conclusion did I draw, 
 And it deducted from the law. 
 That there has been in history 
 A most sublime catastrophe. 
 And one that quite befogged my brain. 
 Its vast proportions to explain ; 
 Hence, its relation to mankind 
 I'm forced to leave still undefined. 
 And leaving it again, I'll turn 
 To my escape from this concern, 
 286 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAINS 
 
 But that I scarcely need to tell, 
 For there's but one escape from Hell, 
 But then it made me feel so blue 
 To think what I have just gone through, 
 And if my readers doubt my word, 
 ITl tell no more of what I heard. 
 If they'll agree to take my place. 
 With all these Devils here to face. 
 Now if you come, and come alone. 
 Just call me up by telephone. 
 My number is — well, I'll not tell. 
 For numbers count for naught in Hell. 
 But still I'll meet you, 'pon my word, 
 My pass-word here is, George the Third, 
 And the degrees you'll easy learn, 
 In your advancement, turn by turn. 
 But, Hark ! I think I hear you say. 
 From what you've said, it's no child's play, 
 No passive sport is it at best 
 To be, in short, the Devil's guest ; 
 I'd rather exercise my will, 
 For distance lends enchantment still. 
 And while we still revolve in space, 
 I'm not inclined to take your place. 
 287 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 Since you^re inspired to guess so well, 
 I'll be content alone in Hell, 
 Though error and discord's the same, 
 No matter what you make the name, 
 And for location, there is none, 
 For Hell and discord both are one ; 
 I've tried before to make this plain. 
 And though I did, I'll try again. 
 Then Heaven may be anywhere, 
 While Hell is discord and despair ; 
 In perfect bliss we Heaven find. 
 With no discord of any kind ; 
 Were all men honest with all men 
 In every act and purpose, then 
 Would nothing of his neighbor say. 
 But good account in every way. 
 And live and act the Golden Rule, 
 And preach and practice in that school ; 
 Then Hell at once would disappear, 
 x\nd Heaven rule this mundane sphere. 
 And then, upon the other hand, 
 While discord reigns throughout the land, 
 And men are prone to wrong each other. 
 And truly treat none as a brother, 
 ^88 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAmS 
 
 And thus reverse the laws of right, 
 That might is right and right not might. 
 Then Hell is bound to reign supreme^, 
 And discord be the ruling theme. 
 The planets move in harmony. 
 As those who will can plainly see. 
 The satellites and all the stars, 
 From Venus even unto Mars, 
 From star to star the light is shown. 
 Yet each a system of its own. 
 ^And w^hen the evening shades prevail 
 The moon takes up the wondrous tale,'^ 
 And casts her mellow beams of light. 
 To make sublime the scenes of night. 
 There^s no discord in what they do. 
 But move as God desires them to. 
 They neither gain nor lose a minute. 
 For discord plainly isn^t ^'^in it." 
 So man was made in every way. 
 He perfect was and is to-day. 
 Man^s fall is but the mortal sense, 
 But never at the souFs expense. 
 And until Truth takes Discord^s place 
 Man here is bound to run his race ; 
 289 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 And though avoid it as you will, 
 You're bound to fall a victim still, 
 To mortal sense, a sense of wrong, 
 Though patientl}^ you try and long; 
 For plain it is, as all can see. 
 That vice and virtue can't agree. 
 And so the trade will be a draw, 
 For here they fail for want of law. 
 So I'll return unto my pew. 
 Renew my grist and put it througli. 
 I asked one favor in the case. 
 It was again to see the face 
 Of all the demons there who flocked 
 And in derisive laughter mocked 
 The very thoughts I entertained. 
 And every foot and inch I gained. 
 The wish was father to the act, 
 For consummated was the fact, 
 And all was open to my view. 
 The demons and their torments, too. 
 Imagine, now, my dread surprise. 
 On seeing spread before my eyes. 
 Upon the left and on the right. 
 For miles away the awful sight 
 290 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAIiYS 
 
 Of wreathing, writhing, fallen man, 
 Who pay the wage of sin again. 
 In fact, I saw in endless space. 
 The fallen victims of my race; 
 N"ot just my race, but every tongue. 
 In that dread place of torment hung. 
 The murderers and suicide 
 Were much the deepest in the tide. 
 Though none, so far as I reviewed, 
 Did there receive much gratitude; 
 Some cried most piteously, indeed. 
 And plaintively would intercede. 
 And plead their cause, as did the thief, 
 And beg for mercy and relief. 
 A sickening sight did they present, 
 xA.s to their feelings they gave vent. 
 At times they^d pray, then weep in turn, 
 And then abuse the whole concern. 
 The new arrivals first would curse. 
 Which rendered things so much the worse. 
 For deeper down they sank so fast 
 That they were forced to weep at last. 
 And when they did the strongest heart 
 Would melt to hear them plead their part. 
 291 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 Their countless numbers in accord 
 1 heard petitioning the Lord 
 To place them back on Earth again, 
 That they might teach their fellow man 
 The awful fate that they had met, 
 And good examples for them set. 
 It^s a condition, as I said, 
 Which now is known unto the dead. 
 There's no high walls around the place, 
 There's no material in the case. 
 But all is mind and mind alone. 
 With God supreme upon the throne. 
 But rules are inexorable, 
 Which makes it most deplorable. 
 For there's the record plain as day, 
 Gro where they will, look where they may. 
 'Tis self-convicting in the main. 
 But finite minds can not explain. 
 But circumstances mitigate. 
 And for the better gravitate 
 Towards a better day to be. 
 When they, again, will all be free. 
 Some records show the blood they shed. 
 And who the victims were they bled; 
 292 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAINS 
 
 It shows their wrongs of every kind, 
 And hoAv they served the weak and blind, 
 And how they perpetrated tricks 
 Upon the poor, weak splenetics, 
 And what they did in every way 
 To lead their fallen man astray. 
 And still another class was there. 
 Who oft in public offered prayer, 
 Who offered grace at every meal. 
 Then cheat the widow in the deal; 
 Who loved to in the pulpit sit, 
 Were there in numbers, 1^11 admit; 
 The pious deacon we espied. 
 And popes and bishops side by side. 
 In short, we found most every class 
 There sauntering round in that foul mass 
 Of beings who, as best they can, 
 Are representing fallen man. 
 I now began to look around 
 To see what next there might be found. 
 And as my readers might suppose, 
 I didn't need to hunt my foes. 
 For they were there on every hand. 
 From every clinio, and every land; 
 ^93 
 
SKID AND 1 
 
 From all conditions, too^ in life, 
 From drunken lord to brow-beat wife; 
 From aged sires with silvery locks. 
 But not one baby in their flocks. 
 That class, it seems, has been left out 
 From all my ramblings here about ; 
 And larger ones that go to school 
 Are not admitted, as a rule, 
 And in conclusion, for results, 
 The greatest number are adults. 
 The passage-way was barely wide 
 Enough for two men side by side. 
 And on each side deep gorges lay. 
 Where poor, depraved immortals stay. 
 Till God decrees that Hell shall fail 
 And better laws on Earth prevail. 
 And this is known as Bacchaus Town, 
 Where fallen victims get their crown. 
 Now this I thought a little strange. 
 How quickly everything should change 
 Before the demons all saw me. 
 But I, the demons couldn't see ; 
 And I, the demons now see plain. 
 While I obscure to them remain, 
 294 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 Which placed the vantage on my side. 
 And helped to bear me o'er the tide. 
 But still my way was dark and drear. 
 Nor did a ray of light appear, 
 Nor could a spark of hope be found 
 To cheer me while in Bacchaus Town. 
 But this had been my cruel fate 
 Since I emerged from child's estate. 
 The best friend since my mother died, 
 Save one, in whom I dared confide. 
 Whose sympathy was always mine. 
 And always said, "My will be thine," 
 Had now gone where, I did not know. 
 But I'll admit I'm lonesome, though. 
 When all alone I meditate 
 On all that's happened me of late. 
 And wonder if it might have been 
 I've suffered thus for others' sin. 
 I stood, and standing mutely gazed 
 Until my mind was almost crazed. 
 For few men like to be alone. 
 And I was feeling almost prone 
 To wish that Skid would soon return 
 And help me solve this dread concern. 
 295 
 
SKID AiVD 1 
 
 I almost felt that all was lost, 
 
 And counted everything but cost. 
 
 In common parlance, I felt blue, 
 
 And soon began to fret and stew. 
 
 The awful lesson I had learned, 
 
 Poor, weak, man-like, I from it turned ; 
 
 And so to speak, I placed my dish. 
 
 And instantly I got my wish. 
 
 For Skid appeared, though looking strange. 
 
 As though he'd passed through some great 
 
 change ; 
 And so he had, 'twas plain to see. 
 But that he fain would hide from me. 
 In short, he rather seemed to scowl 
 And treat the question as a foul ; 
 It seemed he didn't care to tell 
 Just what so lately had befell, 
 'Nor what had been his latest ruse, 
 Nor why his honor he abused. 
 He looked much like a slunken cur 
 To me, at least, as you'd infer. 
 And when I caught his eye by chance 
 He crimson blushed, and looked askance. 
 
 296 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAmS 
 
 Then faced about, then looked askew; 
 1 said to him, ''Well, howdy do/' 
 'Well, thank you, sir,'' said he, "I'm well 
 As one could here expect in Hell. 
 Where have you been ?" said he, "I j^ray ; 
 I left you sleeping by the wa}-. 
 You slept so sound I thought it best 
 To go away and let you rest 
 Until your nerves would settle down. 
 To view the sights of Bacchaus Town ; 
 And that my judgment served me well, 
 Your looks, I think, most plainly tell ; 
 You're looking older, but so fresh, 
 Which makes me think you're gaining flesh. 
 But still, you're looking pale, as yet. 
 But for such trifles I don't fret. 
 For here I find that no one cares 
 For looks of man, nor what he wears, 
 Nor what he did, nor what he's been, 
 Nor what was his besetting sin, 
 Nor what conspired to bring about 
 His landing here on such a route." 
 My questions he evaded still 
 And talked by random much at will, 
 297 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 And those who read these lines may see 
 How different now he seemed to be. 
 He's not the Skid we used to know, 
 When in the flesh I loved him so. 
 He then addressed me all in prose, 
 While looking straightway down his nose. 
 'Well, tell me, Paul, where have you been, 
 And were you worried by the din ? 
 And did you cross the cavern deep. 
 Where Polypontius goes to sleep 
 When he's not otherwise engaged, 
 Nor in some mystic warfare waged ? 
 And did you see his warriors bold. 
 With burnish arms of glittering gold? 
 And did you see them drilling there, 
 In dress parade with so much care? 
 And if you did, can you surmise 
 A grander sight beneath the skies? 
 And did you take a peep within. 
 Where lies the fountain-head of sin ? 
 Or did you cross the stony ledge, 
 Where all the inmates take the pledge ? 
 Where first they learned the stubborn rule, 
 Like children starting in to school? 
 298 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAINS 
 
 I think if it had been your fate 
 To see yourself within that gate, 
 So near the deep, dark pits below, 
 Where none but mortal minds dare go, 
 You'd stand not here as stand you do. 
 Of flesh and blood, and spirit, too. 
 Because not one that went that way 
 Have yet returned, the least to say. 
 And as a friend, I warn you well. 
 Avoid the deepest pit of Hell." 
 To his remarks I thus replied, 
 Nor with me did he coincide : 
 Tor your advice, V\q this to say. 
 And you construe it as you may, 
 A friend most false youVe been to me, 
 As false, in fact, as one could be. 
 When lucre lust became your end. 
 You then no longer was my friend, 
 And if I could I would not dare 
 To heed your counsel here nor there. 
 Nor do I know, sir, whence I came. 
 Or how, or where, or what the name ; 
 Or how much time, perchance, I spent. 
 Or what the course, or where I went. 
 299 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 I tell you, sir, 1 little know, 
 Or what inspired me thus to go. 
 But this I do know, plainly, too, 
 I m not beholding, sir, to you 
 For what I am, nor what IVe been, 
 Xor, like you, will I yield to sin. 
 I felt much worried with my flight. 
 And much disgiisted at the sight. 
 And sat myself down here to rest 
 And think what next to do was best. 
 But you have changed so much, my boy, 
 That I your presence can't enjoy. 
 I'm still of flesh, and you a spirit. 
 Though you, of course, will scorn to hear it. 
 And of a truth I must insist 
 Our former friendship can't exist ; 
 Your treachery was all so plain 
 For lucre lust, or morbid gain. 
 That he who will can't help but read 
 Your thoughts co-ordinate for greed. 
 So now depart, degraded man, 
 I'd rather be alone again." 
 x^nd so he went at my request. 
 What once I loved I now detest. 
 300 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 I ouce was blind, but now I see 
 That things to be are bound to be ; 
 Things formulated in the start 
 In substance still remains apart 
 Of that immense^ stupendous whole, 
 With nothing new, not e^en the soul, 
 And that's eternal as the sun, 
 Because there is no soul but one. 
 He took his leave, and I again 
 Was much a lighter-hearted man. 
 But that is not the question now ; 
 The thing is to proceed, but how? 
 To cast aside my weight of sin. 
 And be what once I might have been ; 
 Then how the battle must be fought 
 ril now proceed to give more thought. 
 And should I fail in any part 
 To make it plain, it's not the heart, 
 But charge it to a faulty brain. 
 Wherein I fail to make it plain. 
 But this I know and mean to tell it, 
 Though all my readers may dispel it. 
 Philosophy (you ought to know it) 
 Is seldom written by a poet ; 
 301 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 But when we write^ we write to please, 
 For finding fault is a disease ; 
 And writing rhyme, 1^11 say again, 
 Was never learned by any man. 
 Yet some, I know, presume to write. 
 But slaughter rhymes both day and night. 
 And while they write in rhyme the same, 
 It^s scarcely worthy of the name. 
 
 30^ 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 CHAPTER XVIII 
 
 THE ROAD (error) IS A HARD ONE TO TRAVEL 1 
 
 GREW SICK AT THE AAVFUL SCENES PRESENTED 
 
 I TRIED TO REVERT BACK TO MY CHILDHOOD^ BUT 
 
 ALL IN VAIN 1 SAW THE FINAL DESTINY OF MAN 
 
 AS I NEVER SAW IT BEFORE 1 STOOD ON THE BRINK 
 
 OF THE DEEPEST PITS OF HELL — THE AWFUL SIGHT 
 
 ALMOST DEPRIVED ME OF MY SENSES HERE THE 
 
 MOST TRUSTED IMPS OF HELL ARE CONFINED^ A 
 PLACE ON WHICH MORTAL EYES HAVE NEVER BE- 
 FORE GAZED 1 AM NONPLUSED TO KNOW WHAT 
 
 NEXT TO DO^ AS IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO GO BACK^ FOR 
 THAT WOULD BE TO LIVE MY LIFE OVER AGAIN^ AND 
 TO TURN TO THE RIGHT OR LEFT WOULD BE SUICIDE 
 AT ONCE, AND PLUNGE ME INTO THE AWFUL ABYSS 
 
 BEFORE ME TO LEAP OVER IS IMPOSSIBLE, AND 
 
 THERE IS NO STAIRWAY NOR ELEVATOR LEADING 
 THERE 1 FINALLY CONCLUDED THAT I HAD FOL- 
 LOWED THE EVIL SPIRIT TOO FAR AND THAT I MUST 
 SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES — IN MY DISTRESS I OF- 
 
 303 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 FERED PRAYER^ WHEN A STILL^ SMALL VOICE TOLD 
 ME TO LEAP, THAT ALL WOULD BE RIGHT, AND SO 
 I DID, AND LANDED NEAR THE PLACE WHERE POLY- 
 PONTIUS GOES TO REST ON ENTERING THE AWFUL 
 
 DOOR, I HESITATED WHAT TO DO, BUT FINALLY EN- 
 TERED WHERE THE GREAT POLYPONTIUS IS TAKING 
 HIS REST, WITH THE KEY TO HELL RESTING ON 
 HIS BREAST, WHICH I SEIZED, AND THE DOORS OF 
 HELL ARE LOCKED AND THE DEVIL IS IN CHAINS. 
 
 The way was rough and hard to make^ 
 Which caused my very nerves to shake. 
 My heart to flutter, I was weak ; 
 My voice to tremble, pale my cheek ; 
 The inward pressure was too strong, 
 And I had suffered much too long ; 
 And though I did the best I could, 
 I'd passed the zenith of manhood 
 While in this awful state of mind. 
 Where natural senses lead the blind ; 
 But passing on, from stage to stage, 
 Fronii year to year, from age to age, 
 From youth unto declining years. 
 From boyish glee to flowing tears, 
 304 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 As many times before Tve said^ 
 While here in fancy with the dead^ 
 I many walls and barriers founds 
 With many pathways winding round, 
 Through some of which I had to creep, 
 And others still I had to leap 
 O^er chasms deep, and dark and wide, 
 With melted lava on each side. 
 In awe, 1 paused a moment there. 
 But what I saw I can^t compare 
 To anything I^d seen before. 
 In all the realms of Hell ashore, 
 The broken rocks, the flames of fire. 
 That roll majestic higher and higher. 
 And spread their fiery tongues of flame 
 O'er countless numbers just the same, 
 I saw a chasm so immense. 
 Enough to rob me of my sense. 
 Then 0, my heart, I grew so sick. 
 My blood ran fast, my pulse was quick, 
 I closed my eyes to all I saw 
 And sought relief through nature's law; 
 I tried to dream of childhood days. 
 When Skid and I, in all our plays, 
 305 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 AVould spend our time at this or that, 
 Upon the banks of old Wild Cat; 
 I saw, indeed, or tried to see, 
 My mother dear caressing me. 
 But all in vain, ^twas all a blank, 
 And in my weakness almost sank; 
 And though I trembling stood the test. 
 My nerves were shattered at the best; 
 I saw the destiny of man 
 Since he his life on Earth began. 
 And though I hesitate to tell, 
 I saw the good and bad as well ; 
 I saw men growing more deprave. 
 And saw them rising from their grave. 
 Which so impressed upon my mind 
 Their awful deeds of every kind 
 That I was forced to cease in quest 
 Of food and give my mind a rest. 
 Beyond a deeper chasm lay. 
 Which checked the progress of my way; 
 I walked with caution to the brink. 
 And looking down, I thought Vd sink 
 At what I saw so far below, 
 Where none but mortal mind dare go ; 
 306 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAINS 
 
 In fact, no others care to dwell 
 In this, the deepest pit of Hell, 
 And those that are there, it appears, 
 Have been there many hundred years, 
 And while they seem to act at will. 
 They suffer endless torment still; 
 Their very breathings fill the air 
 With stifling stenches everywhere. 
 Here mortal man has never been. 
 Nor would he care to walk within ; 
 No eyes but mine have seen the place, 
 Except the Devil and his race. 
 And not a member of the clan 
 Would it reveal to mortal man ; 
 The demons whom he dares to trust 
 Obey him just because they must. 
 And not because they love so well 
 The discipline they learned in Hell. 
 Not one, I think, I'm safe to say. 
 Of all mankind has been this way; 
 Not one, at least, has gone so far. 
 As I have done, in peace or war, 
 To find the fountain head of wrong 
 And tell the story all in song. 
 307 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 I felt much worried at the scene, 
 To know just what it all could mean, 
 And thus I now soliloquized, 
 I wouldn't be at all surprised 
 If I have found the cavern deep 
 Where Polypontius goes to sleep. 
 As they have lost all sight of me, 
 I'll just investigate and see; 
 I'll take all chances in the case, 
 ril strain a point to see the place; 
 But how the Sam Hill can I do it ? 
 I see no stairway leading to it; 
 But this is true, as people say, 
 AVhere there's a will there is a way. 
 And Davy Crockett wisely said, 
 ^Be sure you're right, then go ahead." 
 And mother taught me in my youth 
 The virtues of eternal truth, 
 And that the truth would surely win, 
 i^o matter how things might begin. 
 But what conceivable device 
 That here could be for men or mice 
 To make the span so far below, 
 I must admit I'd like to know. 
 308 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 It now resolves itself to this, 
 I followed Skid and went amiss, 
 And though reluctantly I went, 
 I guilty was in that event. 
 The wily guide was cunning still, 
 And so in part she had her will. 
 It worries me, I must confess. 
 And I'll give up in sad distress. 
 0, God of mercy, help me roll 
 This awful burden from my soul ; 
 I've been deceived by sinful men, 
 And now I come to Thee again. 
 And while my soul must bear the blame. 
 Through faith, I call upon Thy name; 
 Through faith, I trust Thee as a friend. 
 Through faith, Fll serve Thee to the end ; 
 Through faith, Fll answer to the roll. 
 The great Redeemer of my soul ; 
 In all my wanderings now and then, 
 I trust myself to Thee, Amen ! 
 Leap ! leap ! thus something to me said, 
 And touched me softly on the head ; 
 For gravity has lost its force, 
 And whence you wish you'll take your course, 
 309 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 And so I did, and down I went. 
 Through all the fumes of excrement, 
 And landed near the mystic gate, 
 Where sins infernal emanate. 
 The sight at first seems most sublime 
 To view the fountain-seat of crime; 
 But as Vd been by slow degrees 
 Accustomed to such sights as these, 
 It took me but a little while 
 To readjust myself in style. 
 To view the workings of it all 
 That cursed mankind since Adam's fall. 
 Now readers, draw your own conclusion, 
 At the extent of my confusion 
 On landing there in such a place. 
 Among the low of every race. 
 The very lowest kind of men. 
 Like beasts ferocious in their den. 
 Were prowling round about the door 
 On that infernal stucco floor; 
 The door was standing open wide, 
 With well-armed sentinels inside; 
 'Twas there I found the soldiers bold. 
 Of whom Vd Immmi so kindly told, 
 310 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAINS 
 
 But can^t admire their burnished arms 
 That had for Skid such vaunted charms; 
 Decrepit some had grown in service, 
 And others still were very nervous. 
 Now, as you find the boy at ten, 
 You^ll find them so when they are men ; 
 A boy by nature that is mean 
 At ten, when grown, will show his spleen. 
 And he who will can easily read 
 The course through life that boy will lead; 
 And so with these poor culprits here. 
 They're paying for their folly dear. 
 I hesitated what to do, 
 I paused a moment, so would you. 
 Here at the very seat of sin, 
 What next to do, or where begin ; 
 And as I stood I almost sank; 
 My mind became almost a blank ; 
 My eyes had failed, my ears were deaf, 
 Of God I felt I was bereft, 
 And though I need not it repeat. 
 My heart had almost ceased to beat. 
 And on recovering from the shocks. 
 Prostrate upon the broken rocks, 
 311 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 Most fervently I prayed for light 
 To lead me through the dismal night; 
 To lead me to the day of grace^ 
 When I^ in truth^ should win tlie race. 
 Inside the door I stood a bit, 
 For I was worried. Til admit; 
 I walked on tip-toe here and there, 
 I doffed my hat and brushed my hair, 
 Then contemplated what I saw, 
 And this conclusion did I draw : 
 I still unseen to them must be, 
 And yet all them I plainly see ; 
 They look the picture of distress. 
 Resulting from their long duress; 
 I see them standing millions strong, 
 A dirty, greasy, motley ed throng; 
 Some thirty millions, I suppose. 
 Are standing here and there in I'ows, 
 And what their mission here can be 
 Remains a mystery, but 1^11 see ; 
 1^11 try and learn their end in view. 
 And why they stay here as they do. 
 The outer walls seem tumbled down. 
 Much more than those of Baechaus Town, 
 312 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAINS 
 
 Though measured fairly by extent, 
 And not alone by decrement, 
 Comparison would surely fail 
 Without the hob-nob of detail. 
 I snoring heard both deep and loud, 
 Like thunder peal from cloud to cloud. 
 It seemed the skies were rent in twain, 
 And all confusion was my brain; 
 I stood, I gazed in empty space, 
 While perspiration bathed my face. 
 Then what I did ^tis hard to tell; 
 This thought occurred, "yes, this is Hell." 
 1^11 go a little further in 
 And see what causes so much din. 
 And what I sought I shortly found, 
 ^Twas Polypontius sleeping sound. 
 And on his breast the magic key 
 That locked the doors of destiny ; 
 The question now was "what to do" ; 
 He might awake, and catch me, too. 
 In this dilemma, though, I find, 
 This thought revolving in my mind. 
 One who presumed to be my friend 
 Said this would surely be my end, 
 313 
 
SKID AND 1 
 
 And warned me well to seize the key, 
 When all the inmates would be free ; 
 I seized the key, with strange effect, 
 But with a tremor, I expect. 
 And 'twas no sooner said than done. 
 The great millennium had begun; 
 These thoughts occurred with force to me, 
 In language plain as they could be. 
 Like this, and can it be that I, 
 A worldly mortal, born to die, 
 Should here at ease, so much my own. 
 Thus bind the Devil on his throne, 
 And revolutionize so well 
 The very pits of deepest Hell, 
 And cause the lion in his den 
 And lamb to dwell in peace like men? 
 Poor and despised, as I have been. 
 Must I thus place the yoke on sin. 
 Yes, here the Devil I shall bind, 
 The unseen foe of all mankind; 
 I'll do to you as you have done 
 To all mankind beneath the sun : 
 I'll pay you in your kind of corn. 
 Since of your powers you've now been shorn. 
 314 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 CHAPTER XIX 
 
 THE DEVIL AWOKE IX GREAT SURPRISE TO FIND HIM- 
 SELF BOUND IK CHAINS HE TRIES IN VAIN TO 
 
 BREAK THE CHAINS THAT HELD HIM^ AND WHEN 
 HE FAILED HE CURSED ALL MANKIND AS ONE MAN, 
 AND DECLARED THAT HE WOULD RULE THOUGH 
 HEAVEN AND EARTH SHOULD FAIL — HIS UNDER- 
 LINGS STOOD IN AWE SURPRISE AT THE TURN 
 
 THINGS HAD TAKEN AFTER VENTING HIS RAGE HE 
 
 BROKE DOWN AND CRIED THE ROYAL QUEEN xlGAIN 
 
 APPEARS ON THE SCENE SHE DEMANDS AN EX- 
 PLANATION, BUT AS THE DEVIL HAD LOST HIS 
 POWER, HE COULD NOT UNDERSTAND THE MYSTERY 
 
 THE QUESTION WITH ME THEN WAS WHETHER 
 
 I SHOULD SNEAK AWAY OR STEP OUT BOLDLY 1 
 
 DECIDED ON THE LATTER COURSE, AND, ADDRESSING 
 THE DEVIL, TOLD HIM THAT HE WAS BOUND BY THE 
 CHAIN THAT JOHN SAW IN HIS VISION, AND THAT 
 HE WOULD REMAIN IN THAT CONDITION ONE THOU- 
 SAND YEARS — AT MY COMIMAND, EVERY ONE OF THE 
 INMATES OF HELL, EXCEPT THE DEVIL, DEPARTED, 
 
 315 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 AND I ALONE POSSESSED THE THRONE HE BROKE 
 
 DOWN AGAIN AND WEPT THUS BOUND AND WEEP- 
 ING, I LEFT THE DEVIL MY OWN EVIL THOUGHTS, 
 AND BY ACCEPTING THE PERFECT THOUGHTS OF GOD, 
 
 I BEGAN TO RETRACE MY STEPS ON MY RETURN I 
 
 PASSED THROUGH THE SAME DARK CHAMBERS AS BE- 
 FORE, AND IN THE DEATH CHAMBER I SAW SKID AND 
 THE GIRL IN DISGUISE (hIS SISTER), LYING ^IDE BY 
 
 SIDE 1 PRESSED ONWARD, UNTIL I LEARNED AT 
 
 LAST THAT THE SEEMING DARKNESS THROUGH 
 WHICH I HAD BEEN TRAVELING WAS MY OWN IGNO- 
 RANCE OF THE SPIRITUAL TEACHINGS OF GOD's 
 WORD. 
 
 He thus awoke in fetters bound, 
 And cursed himself and all around, 
 And when he failed to burst the chains, 
 He plead his cause in fearful strains. 
 He raved, he pitched, he cursed, he swore, 
 While fire flashed from every pore. 
 His eyes bespoke his thoughts within. 
 And awful was the awful din; 
 As languor follows such a course. 
 So he submitted by sheer force. 
 316 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAINS 
 
 Since first began his awful reign 
 
 He felt his power begin to wane. 
 
 And while he lay there as of course, 
 
 He only yielded unto force. 
 
 At first he strove to vent his rage. 
 
 And cursed the dead of every age, 
 
 From Eve and i\.dam down the line 
 
 (Except his burly concubine), 
 
 Nor did he stop to cast the blame 
 
 On that unworthy demon's name; 
 
 In language that I can't explain, 
 
 He cursed until it swayed my brain. 
 
 The full import I couldn't give ; 
 
 It made me quite too sick to live ; 
 
 In fact, it robbed me of my wits, 
 
 And I regain them by tid-bits. 
 
 I tried to banish every thought. 
 
 And peaceful rest for once I sought. 
 
 He struggled hard, then wept in turn. 
 
 Then cursed again the whole concern. 
 
 He reckoned all mankind as one. 
 
 And swore his will should yet be done. 
 
 That Heaven and Earth might pass away. 
 
 But he alone would rule the day ; 
 
 3ir 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 And when at last he gave it np, 
 And freely drank the bitter cnp, 
 Distress was written in his face, 
 Thus bound in fetters and disgrace. 
 His sentinels on every hand, 
 Too much amazed to understand 
 Or comprehend the full import 
 Of what befell their royal court, 
 Or what produced the dismal scene, 
 Or what, in short, it all could mean. 
 Felt much chagrined at what they saw. 
 And some presumed to doubt the law, 
 And called in question things so plain, 
 And said 'twould all be right again. 
 To just one thing they all agreed. 
 And all were willing to concede 
 That something awful had befell 
 To him who ruled so long in Hell. 
 He lost his power, ^twas quick but sure, 
 And I had won a sinecure. 
 And as I said, why was it so ? 
 Why so with me, IM like to know ? 
 And then again, why shouldn't I 
 Be born the Devil here to tie, 
 318 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAIISrS 
 
 For I^ as well as other meii;, 
 Was tempted by him now and then. 
 ^0, fiendish beast," I said, "before 
 I met and bound you at your door, 
 And while you beg, upon the whole, 
 You cur,sed mankind from pole to pole; 
 And though you shed most copious tears, 
 Yet bound you'll lay one thousand years." 
 His anger seemed to ebb and flow. 
 Or rather it would come and go ; 
 At least, it didn^t seem to cease. 
 But rather seemed on the increase. 
 And soon a vital storm was waged, 
 In which the inmates all engaged, 
 Yet what they thought was hard to tell, 
 And what they hoped to gain as well. 
 Though unaccustomed as he'd been, 
 He felt the weight of his own sin, 
 And like the millions at his side. 
 He cursed again and then he cried. 
 The august presence of the queen 
 Was now conspicuous in the scene. 
 She viewed the scene with greatest gusto. 
 Then issued forth her manifesto. 
 319 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 With rojal pomp she seemed to swell, 
 And thus she spoke to all in Hell : 
 "Pray tell me, sir/^ she to him spoke, 
 "Who here has dealt you such a stroke ? 
 Who had the bold and daring gall, 
 And yet like dastard thieves to crawl 
 Into this solemn, sacred shrine ? 
 1^11 be avenged, thy concubine; 
 1^11 be avenged, I now repeat. 
 Burst forth ye flames of molten heat, 
 Nor leave a thread will I to tell 
 Of him who served you thus in Hell. 
 The powers of Hell shall answer me, 
 The gods of Earth shall punished be; 
 I brand each one from every age. 
 Upon each one I'll vent my rage ; 
 I'll meet the planets as they sweep 
 Around what seems an endless deep, 
 And vent my rage on each in turn, 
 Or be avenged of this concern." 
 With vengeance beaming from her eye, 
 And thus the Devil made reply : 
 "I know but little what was done; 
 My vision failed when this begun, 
 320 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 And what was done and what befell 
 It seems extremely hard to tell. 
 I woke, and when I woke I found 
 Myself, as here, in fetters bound. 
 This weight is more than I can bear — 
 This mystic curse, this damned nightmare; 
 My hands are bound, as you can see, 
 In fetters tight as they can be ; 
 My feet and limbs, my very soul. 
 Until my mind I can't control ; 
 They're cutting deep, both hip and thigh, 
 Yet in my zeal I don't see why 
 I'm treated thus upon my throne. 
 Where I have ruled so long alone. 
 And what seemed most to my surprise. 
 My ears were deaf, and blind my eyes; 
 My very instinct seemed to fail. 
 And herculean powers to prevail. 
 And now, my worthy concubine. 
 Remove these chains and all is thine." 
 She tried to answer, but her tongue 
 Was tied and she was all unstrung ; 
 She couldn't comprehend the cause, 
 Nor yet could she obey his laws, 
 321 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 But rather stood with mouth agape — 
 In short, she seeraed much out of shape. 
 This awful place, mortal man ! 
 The worst since here my course began. 
 The subterranean passageways 
 Salute my ears, confront my gaze; 
 From every side and all around 
 There comes a hideous screeching sound, 
 Discordant sounds like rattling bones. 
 And voices flow in monotones ; 
 And frequently I\l hear a shrill 
 And screaming cry, thus, "Whipper Will.' 
 And then, to start my fears anew, 
 A monster cat would squall and mew; 
 Unnumbered voices then would scream, 
 And hiss, and howl, and almost seem 
 To rend the very rocks in twain, 
 So weary and so weak my brain ; 
 A sort of film my eyes overspread. 
 My mind was paralyzed, ^twas dead ; 
 I swooned away, and in my grief, 
 Sleep came at last and gave relief. 
 I slept the sleep of sweet repose ; 
 In short, I now forgave my foes; 
 332 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 The wrongs that held me from the start 
 I bound and cast them from my heart. 
 This question now to me occurred, 
 What shall I do, since all Vyq heard ? 
 Shall I turn coward and sneak away, 
 Or shall I boldly hold the day ? 
 The former course if I should choose 
 I fear my prestige I should lose; 
 Although it^s not in holy writ, 
 God hates a coward, that is it. 
 It^s just the thought. Til never pause, 
 Nor will I prostitute the cause 
 Thaf s been intrusted here to me, 
 No matter what the case may be. 
 And when I thus resolved, in fact 
 (And here resolving means to act), 
 I threw away the obscure mask. 
 And thus began the final task. 
 Now, stepping out in bold relief, 
 I to the Devil spoke in brief: 
 '^As John once saw, so it has been, 
 I hold the magic key to sin. 
 And e'en the chain he saw so clear. 
 One thousand years shall bind you here. 
 323 
 
SKID AND 1 
 
 Your emissaries shall disperse, 
 And you, alone, shall bear the curse. 
 Prometheus like, there you shall lay, 
 I said before, do what you may, 
 And though should Pluto heed your call. 
 Your work alone produced your fall ; 
 And different though your gods decree. 
 Your end and fate the same must he." 
 No sooner said than it was done. 
 The imps departed, every one. 
 And left the Devil all alone. 
 Save me, and I possessed the throne. 
 And though he never did before, 
 He wept until his eyes were sore. 
 Nor did he even plead his case ; 
 He bowed his head and hid his face. 
 And in convulsions then he went. 
 Until his breath was almost spent. 
 In this condition him I left. 
 If not his moans had made me deaf. 
 And otherwise have wrecked my brain, 
 To see him writhing in his pain. 
 I felt secure in what I'd won, 
 And justified in all Fd done, 
 324 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 And yet I didn^t care to stay, 
 Nor dawdle longer on the way. 
 I thought I far enough had gone, 
 And that a better day would dawn. 
 When in resplendent endless bliss, 
 I might enjoy for all of this 
 Misfortune that me here befell, 
 Which seemed, indeed, a real hell. 
 How much I suffered no one knows. 
 Nor yet how well it pleased my foes. 
 But this remember and be wise, 
 I never acted in disguise ; 
 Nor have I meant to do them wrong. 
 Save reference to them in my song. 
 And that is but the poet's part. 
 To lisp the language of his heart. 
 The Devil chained, now, this I thought, 
 But I'm not certain that I ought 
 To tell the thoughts I entertain. 
 Nor all that's pictured on my brain; 
 For empty twaddle o'er the land 
 With empty brain goes hand in hand. 
 And I would not be judged like that, 
 For all the fishes in Wild Cat. 
 325 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 But now I'm off 1113' base again. 
 And I'll return as best I can, 
 Since I have clone what I have done, 
 x\nd gave the details one by one, 
 Since I have seen what I have seen, 
 And faced the Devil in his spleen. 
 It seems befitting in the case, 
 To give dimensions of the place. 
 The length and breadth and height of wall 
 And the minutiae of it all, 
 Twelve thousand furlongs it Avas long, 
 The wall three furlongs thick, and strong. 
 Twelve thousand furlongs it was wide. 
 With openings only one inside. 
 The height was equal to the length. 
 And it was curved to give it strength. 
 And there was bric-a-brac, it's true. 
 Which matters not to me nor you. 
 Lay helter-skelter here and there. 
 In great disorder everywhere. 
 Because the Devil all his life. 
 Was like a man without a wife. 
 Disorder seemed to be his rule, 
 Though different he was taught in school. 
 326 
 
THE DEVIL m CHAINS 
 
 How different mankind might have been, 
 But for the Devil's rule of sin. 
 Then, as I said (or meant to say. 
 Ere I so lately went astray), 
 Here in this land things seemed to be 
 Somewhat divided by degree, 
 For there is mnch for me to learn. 
 Where worlds revolve and planets turn 
 In endless space and countless numbers. 
 Quiet as an infant slumbers. 
 As quiet as when life begun. 
 Each one revolving round the sun, 
 And each a system in the end. 
 Too great for man to comprehend. 
 Now this my nature was on earth. 
 In fact it's been so since my birth, 
 To company seek by times, at least, 
 But now that feeling has increased, 
 Until it drives me wild because 
 I can't discuss the mystic laws 
 That here control the things unseen. 
 And all the worlds that intervene. 
 And all the planets in their place, 
 Like grains of sand in empty space, 
 327 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 And holds them all in unison, 
 Around one grand stupendous one. 
 In short, God^s works are quite too great 
 To comprehend in such a state, 
 To learn the beauties of His laws, 
 Or grasp at once His holy cause. 
 And so decreed that we should learn 
 It step by step, the whole concern. 
 I started now to leave the place. 
 And best I could my steps retrace. 
 Now all I needed was to will. 
 And quick I went and quicker still. 
 From place to place, for phase to phase. 
 Through burning fumes and darkest ways. 
 Through every rampart of the place. 
 Or, as it were, througli empty space, 
 Through burning lakes I sped my way. 
 For I could see approaching day. 
 And henceforth all is not in vain. 
 With naught to fear, but all to gain, 
 With Satan conquered in the end. 
 My basest foes would be my friend. 
 And all my hopes beneath the skies 
 I trust I soon may realize, 
 328 
 
THE DEVIL IN CHAINS 
 
 Because conviction was my case^, 
 And now conversion takes its place, 
 And may the hand that is divine 
 Write in my heart, "Thou shalt be mine." 
 I stood again upon the brink 
 Where Skid and I once took a drink ; 
 I pondered well the lesson taught, 
 Our every act, and every thought. 
 And what befell, aaid what was done. 
 And why our course was thus begun. 
 I thought what lessons it should teach, 
 And this conclusion did I reach: 
 Fve gone astray, I know not where, 
 But Grod will hear my humble prayer. 
 I then began to slow retrace 
 The steps Fd taken in the place. 
 I passed again with bated breath, 
 The dark and somber room of death. 
 And while in silence passing through, 
 I saw Skid and his sister, too. 
 And side by side as there they lay. 
 These words were written, "Gone astray.^ 
 And then I felt as ne'er before. 
 The love of Christ f orevermore ; 
 329 
 
SKID AND I 
 
 The need of such a worthy friend, 
 To be my Savior in the end. 
 I prayed with all iny wearied soul, 
 To fill my cup, overflow my bowl. 
 And praying thus to God in Heaven, 
 I found my sins had been forgiven ; 
 And when I woke, as it would seem, 
 I found it all had been a dream. 
 And that I still was on the Earth, 
 And in the land that ofave me birth. 
 
 330 
 
TWO MOTHERLESS CHILDREN 
 
 WKITTEN FOR MY CHILDKEN IN MEMOKV OF 
 THEIR mother's DEATH 
 
 Two motherless children^ our mother is dead; 
 They laid her away in a cold earthen bed, 
 Her voice has grown silent, we hear it no more, 
 Thongh we were so young, for I wasn't quite four. 
 And Loydie, still younger, scarce one and a half, 
 With tottering steps and a babyish laugh, 
 When mamma was called to obey the command, 
 And fly away home to that heavenly land, 
 Where error and discord alike are unknown 
 And God His dear children He'll claim as His own. 
 And mamma, I know, will not take a back seat. 
 For she her dear Savior was ready to meet. 
 Aunt Jennie was there, nnd our friends all around. 
 To see our dear mamma pit under the ground. 
 Thus sacred and holy the place then became. 
 And sacred the marble that now bears her name. 
 331 
 
TWO MOTHERLESS CHILDREN 
 
 With sad recollections does the ninth day of May 
 Recur to our minds as the years pass away. 
 The bell in the steeple an anthem was ringing, 
 The birds in the bushes were merrily singing, 
 And all was resplendent with foliage green ; 
 The verdure of N'ature was everywhere seen. 
 But Ave were not happy ; our circle was broken ; 
 In sombre-toned silence the death knell had spoken, 
 Upon that sad morning, that morning in May, 
 When mamma, dear mamma, was taken away. 
 1^11 never forget it, though little was I, 
 How papa sat down and we all took a cry. 
 Though little I said, I remember it well, 
 It makes me so sad when our story I tell, 
 ior I can^t help but think, as the days come and go, 
 Of the love that we lost, for she loved us we know. 
 But her spirit, I know, still hovers around 
 To guide and direct us, but never a sound 
 Of her silent footsteps, but her breathings above 
 We hear from our mother, an angel of love. 
 But Loydie says he don't remember at all. 
 But that is no wonder, for he was so small. 
 He'd only been walking some six months before ; 
 In walking he'd often fall flat on the floor. 
 332 
 
TWO MOTHERLESS CHILDREN 
 
 He couldn^t talk plain, but I think he did well, 
 
 For all of liis troubles he'd manage to tell. 
 
 He had lots of troubles that bothered him, too, 
 
 For some of his baby teeth hadn't got through. 
 
 And dressed in such garments as baby boys wear, 
 
 His face often dirty and rumpled his hair. 
 
 I now don't remember, when older I can. 
 
 The steps he had taken from boyhood to man. 
 
 Another one, too, there was then in our flock, 
 
 A sweet little baby, all dressed in his frock ; 
 
 Though budded on earth, in high heaven to bloom, 
 
 The angels descended and carried him home. 
 
 And now there's but two of us, Loydie and me. 
 
 Though papa is with us, and still we are three. 
 
 And if we all live, we shall do what we can. 
 
 Till I am a woman and Loydie a man; 
 
 But if it should happen our pathway be rough, 
 
 Then Jesus is with us and that is enough. 
 
 Now this is our story, it's simple, but true, 
 
 And Jesus will help us our duty to do. 
 
 As long as a spark of vitality lasts, 
 
 And carry us home when our troubles are past. 
 
 333 
 
THE LITTLE WIDOW 
 
 Come and hear my simple story 
 
 Of a lady fair, indeed, 
 How she won the proudest glory 
 
 When alone in time of need ; 
 How her heart was almost sinking, 
 
 When her loved one passed away, 
 How she sat in silence tliinking 
 
 When they'd meet some future day. 
 Every scene of youthful childhood 
 
 Like a panorama passed 
 O^er her vision like a wildwood, 
 
 Coming home again at last. 
 Thus she mourned for many hours. 
 
 Days, and weeks, and months, and years, 
 Then like all her faded flowers. 
 
 Wept no more, but dried her tears, 
 And became again a maiden. 
 
 Light of heart and graceful, too. 
 And with cares no longer laden, 
 
 She more fair and winsome grew. 
 334 
 
THE LITTLE WIDOW 
 
 Once a maiden, soon a widow, 
 
 Once beloved, and then bereft, 
 And she weeps not as she did, though, 
 
 And of charms she's plenty left. 
 She is modest to perfection. 
 
 Free and easy, but not bold. 
 Like a rosebud in complexion, 
 
 Not too young and not too old. 
 Half inviting, though not simple. 
 
 Always pleasant, sometimes shy; 
 In her chin there is a dimple. 
 
 And there's mischief in her eye. 
 Of my mind she is the master ; 
 
 She's well trained in every art ; 
 Mrs. Roe, like alabaster. 
 
 Is the mistress of my heart. 
 See her, if you will, when dining. 
 
 Fair and bright, as damsels are, 
 And she's never seen repining. 
 
 Nor by anger set ajar. 
 Now, you bachelors of thirty. 
 
 That have grown so bold and queer, 
 Brush your vests, don't look so dirty. 
 
 And for you she'll drop a tear. 
 335 
 
THE LITTLE WIDOW 
 
 And^ again, like General Prideau, 
 Though like him, I pray, don't fall, 
 
 For I know a little widow 
 
 That could win and fool 3^ou all. 
 
 336 
 
SAMMY AND NOMA 
 
 Yes, I love thee. Noma Wise, 
 As the eagle loves the skies; 
 As the squirrel loves the tree; 
 As the blind would love to see; 
 As the creepers love to climb; 
 As the poets love the rhyme ; 
 As the little birds love spring, 
 So would I to Noma cling. 
 Cling to her as love me draws ; 
 Clinging I would plead my cause; 
 Plead for Grod to hear my case ; 
 Plead for Him to give me grace; 
 Plead for all the powers above 
 To increase my ardent love, 
 For the grandest, noblest prize, 
 My beloved Noma Wise. 
 Until mountains turn to dust, 
 And the glittering gold shall rust ; 
 And the aged rocks decay ; 
 And the waters pass away ; 
 337 
 
SAMMY AND NOMA 
 
 And the mooted treasures leap 
 From their consecrated deep, 
 I shall seek no other prize 
 Than nw fairest Noma Wise. 
 Though in other worlds we'll be, 
 ril her there expect to see, 
 Gracing fair an angel band 
 In that grand imperial land. 
 Where, to speak a word divine, 
 None are ever seen repine. 
 In that world beyond the skies 
 Where I'll meet dear Noma Wise. 
 Worldly cares we'll have no more, 
 When upon that radiant shore, 
 Breathing that celestial bliss. 
 For, I'm sure 'tis not amiss 
 That I should reveal the truth 
 Unto thee, dear, elfin youth ; 
 For within thy bosom lies 
 All my hopes, dear Noma Wise. 
 "Hear me ! heed me ! dearest one. 
 For without thee I'm undone. 
 And my life suspended high. 
 In the arched, dark blue sky, 
 338 
 
SAMMY AXD NOMA 
 
 Hanging there upon a thready 
 That must break lest we are wed; 
 Swinging, dangling, in the skies, 
 Save me, dearest Noma Wise. 
 Fancy pictures in my flight. 
 All that's wrong and all thafs right; 
 All that's good, and all that's bad; 
 All that pleases or makes mad ; 
 And I pray with all my sonl. 
 Spread the news from pole to pole. 
 For I love thee, Noma Wise, 
 Best of all beneath the skies. 
 There is nothing I'd not dare ; 
 There is none on earth so fair; 
 There is nothing I'd not do ; 
 There is none I love like yon. 
 And the story I repeat, 
 As I'm kneeling at thy feet. 
 Wilt thou hear and heed my cries? 
 Wilt thou love me. Noma Wise ?" 
 "Yes, dear Sammy, Noma hears, 
 And thy soul she'll bathe in tears. 
 And to save thee from that clift. 
 She will send a message swift, 
 339 
 
SAMMY AND NOMA 
 
 With armor and escutcheon, too, 
 Nicely wrapped in satin blue. 
 And as snow-white flakes are driven, 
 Unto thee my hand is given. 
 I shall meet thee and caress thee, 
 But I never shall oppress thee, 
 For the sunlight in the morn 
 In his perihelion born. 
 Lash the earth and drive my soul 
 Far beyond yon frozen pole, 
 And from earth I would be driven 
 If I dared reject Sam Niven. 
 Have no fears, but rest thy case. 
 And bestow a fond embrace; 
 Twine thine arms around me, dear; 
 Hark ! Indeed, methinks I hear 
 Angel voices from above 
 Bearing witness to my love. 
 And ajar the gates of Heaven 
 Unto us, dear Sammy Niven. 
 Yes, come to my arms, dear boy. 
 And thy trust 1^11 ne'er decoy. 
 For the slippery clouds have said, 
 'Speed thy way, be quickly wed.' 
 340 
 
SAMMY AND NOMA 
 
 But;, my dictum let me tell^ 
 Love is drawn from friendship's well. 
 To my soul a boon is given, 
 Thou art mine, dear Sammy Mven. 
 For thy love, my noble man, 
 I'll repay as lovers can, 
 Nor will I be derelict. 
 Nor a punishment inflict. 
 Nor my love will I withhold 
 Till my form in death lies cold. 
 And my soul be gone to Heaven, 
 There to meet thee, Sammy Niven. 
 Now, until we meet again, 
 I assure thee best I can. 
 Till the moon shall change her course. 
 And the sun withdraw his force. 
 And refuse to shine on earth. 
 And to flowering plants give birth; 
 Till the stars are called from Heaven, 
 I'll be thine, dear Sammy Niven. 
 And when on that glorious shore. 
 Where we'll meet to part no more, 
 Mingling with the angels there, 
 Each the other's love we'll share 
 341 
 
SAMMY AND NOMA 
 
 In the endless bliss divine, 
 You^ll be mine, and 1^11 be thine. 
 Bless the Lord and hosts of Heaven, 
 For I love thee, Sammy Niven/^ 
 
 342 
 
KISSIIS^G AT THE FEONT-YARD GATE 
 
 Once walking down a thoroughfare, 
 But I'll not tell you when nor where, 
 For well-bred ladies I respect. 
 But on that night I did reflect, 
 That if our j^eople could have seen 
 How fond embraces intervene 
 
 While standing at the front-yard gate. 
 They'd with me say it's worth their time 
 To read these lines, though all in rhyme. 
 For I am telling but the truth. 
 To warn the ardent minds of youth 
 Who disregard their parents' law, 
 For this is true, that night I saw 
 
 Them kissing at the front-yard gate. 
 
 II 
 
 And closer now, I closer went. 
 For I to see and learn was bent, 
 343 
 
KISSING AT THE GATE 
 
 And there behind a shade tree stood 
 (Though that, perhaps, I never should 
 Have done, in such a ease as this), 
 But then I meant to see the miss. 
 
 While kissing at the front-yard gate. 
 I saw, I heard, as you'd suppose. 
 Him kiss her right beneath the nose. 
 Though he was tall and she was short. 
 Which made it look much out of sort; 
 Yet both enjoyed the sport, I'm sure, 
 As most men do a sinecure. 
 
 While kissing at the front-yard gate. 
 
 Ill 
 
 I don't suppose they meant a wrong, 
 
 ISTor there to tarry very long. 
 
 But as it was already late. 
 
 They chanced it to procrastinate, 
 
 With no such thought of stepping in. 
 
 But right between the nose and chin, 
 
 I saw them kissing at the gate. 
 They both appeared it to enjoy ; 
 He said, ^''my darling," she, ^^my boy" ; 
 344 
 
KISSING AT THE GATE 
 
 • 
 He gave a sigh, she sighed in turn. 
 And I enjoyed the whole concern. 
 For it was pleasing to my taste, 
 To see him grasp her ronnd the waist. 
 And kiss her at the front-yard gate. 
 
 IV 
 
 Though fond they were, they fonder grew. 
 And round her waist his arms he threw. 
 And then what followed, I'll not tell. 
 For everybody knows so well ; 
 What next they did, it seems to me. 
 For there it was my lot to see 
 
 Them hugging at the front-yard gate. 
 It may have been, perhaps it was. 
 In me a most unmanly cause. 
 Upon that pleasant moonlight night. 
 To watch him hugging her so tight; 
 But be the matter as it may, 
 It seems that I was built that way. 
 
 To watch them hugging at the gate. 
 
 345 
 
KISSING AT THE GATE 
 
 V 
 Pier parents,, so my story goes. 
 Were slumbering sound in sweet repose. 
 And all was silent round about. 
 Both in the house as well as out. 
 But these two lovers still I found 
 With arms around each other wound. 
 
 And hugging at the front-yard gate. 
 And this to parents should be known, 
 This evil in extent has grown 
 Until its giant-like strong embrace 
 Includes the best of all our race. 
 And all the wisest men can't tell 
 How many lovely ladies fell 
 
 By kissing at the front-yard gate. 
 
 VI 
 
 And in my own obscurity, 
 I've been impelled by purity. 
 To give an inkling of the truth 
 To warn the wayward minds of youth 
 That they should not such passions feel. 
 For there I stood and saw them deal 
 In kissing at the front-yard gate. 
 346 
 
KISSING AT THE GATE 
 
 'Twould take a bard quite stupendous, 
 To write a book so luminous, 
 And then the half would not be told, 
 Of ladies young and ladies old. 
 Of daughters once, but mothers now. 
 Who compromised their classic brow 
 By kissing at the front-yard gate. 
 
 VII 
 
 But this much told, IVe just begun, 
 For, were it all, I'd say well done, 
 But I'd become, as you'd well guess, 
 Quite anxious in such vague distress. 
 And to relieve my anxious mind 
 I drew much closer, there to find 
 
 Them hugging still beside the gate. 
 What more they did was notliing bad. 
 But 111 admit it made me mad 
 To see him hug, and her kiss him. 
 And hear her call him "Darling Jim.'' 
 I then and there began to scold 
 Myself, because I was too old 
 
 To share such kisses at the gate. 
 347 
 
KIS8IN(i AT THE GATE 
 
 VIIT 
 
 My mind was full to overflow, 
 And, turning round to homeward go, 
 I pandered well that moonlight scene, 
 Although it seems more like a dream. 
 That well-bred ladies after night 
 Would grant their lovers such a rigid. 
 
 To hug and kiss them at the gate, 
 yind now to close my narrative. 
 Just one word of advice I'll give 
 To those who give or take a kiss. 
 And think such sport is not amiss. 
 To heed the lesson here I've taught. 
 And never let yourselves be caught 
 
 While kissing at the gate. 
 
 348 
 
THE THREE OLD MAIDS 
 
 Three old-maid sisters came to town^ 
 With high-heeled boots and cross-barred gown^ 
 They'd spent their lives^ a score and ten, 
 In looking round among the men^ 
 In hopes to find some honest gander 
 Wliile here on earth to with them wander, 
 And measure lengths with them in bed; 
 But stop me, now, enough I've said! 
 ni say no more, you bet a cent, 
 But there's no harm in what I meant, 
 Because the girls to seed had run, 
 Well — not all three, but Just the one. 
 The youngest one, I should have said. 
 Would take at least a six-foot bed, 
 And should her mate be longer still, 
 They'd kick the foot-board out at will. 
 They came along, so said all three. 
 To stay a while the sights to see. 
 Their names were Sarah, Jane, and Liz; 
 And Jane the oldest was — that is, 
 349 
 
THE THREE OLD MAIDS 
 
 i didn't mean to tell her age, 
 At least, not in the present stage. 
 Of what I have or yet may say 
 About these maids, because they may 
 Be pleased to read what here V\e said, 
 And twine their curses round my head, 
 And should a thing like that befall 
 Me, Vd plead guilty, that is all. 
 Fd never make a false report, 
 Not face three lank old maids in court. 
 Their shoes were made on last "broad E," 
 And number seven wore all three ; 
 And they were kipskins, I presume, 
 And made to give their bunions room. 
 Their faces long, and lank, and thin. 
 And soon their nose will meet their chin ; 
 And soon their teeth be dropping out. 
 And next, perhaps, they'll have the gout, 
 And kindred ailings as mankind 
 In dotage of old age may find. 
 But if they don't, one might infer 
 They're not as young as once they were. 
 They all three once were splendid girls. 
 And wore their hair in cork-screw curls; 
 350 
 
THE THREE OLD MAIDS 
 
 Face powder never did they use, 
 
 A^or man did ever they refuse. 
 
 xlnd if a widower I see, 
 
 Or bachelor inquires of me 
 
 For anything in womankind, 
 
 I'll tell him where he's sure to find 
 
 A ripe old maid in cross-barred dress, 
 
 Whose answer surely would be "yes." 
 
 351 
 
CHARLEY AND LIZZIE 
 
 Said Charley to Lizzie^ "I called for a chat," 
 Said Lizzie to Charley, "I^m so glad of that." 
 Said Charley to Lizzie, "You are ? I declare," 
 Said Lizzie to Charley, ''I am, that I swear." 
 Said Charley to Lizzie, "I feared youM say no," 
 Said Lizzie to Charley, "What made you think so?" 
 Said Charley to Lizzie, "My heart felt so funny," 
 Said Lizzie to Charley, "It shouldn't, my honey." 
 Said Lizzie to Charley, "Where were you to-day ?" 
 Said Charley to Lizzie, "I worked by the way." 
 Said Lizzie to Charley, "For whom did you work?" 
 Said Charley to Lizzie, "For Eanson I clerk." 
 Said Lizzie to Charley, "What Eanson is he ?" 
 Said Charley to Lizzie, "It's Ranson, I. C." 
 Said Charley to Lizzie, "I love you indeed," 
 Said Lizzie to Charley, "Then hug me in speed." 
 Said Charley to Lizzie, "I will, that you know," 
 Said Lizzie to Charley, "It tickles me so." 
 Said Charley to Lizzie, "The wind blows so cold," 
 Said Lizzie to Charley, "It does, so I'm told." 
 352 
 
CHARLEY AND LIZZIE 
 
 Said Charley to Lizzie, "The clock has struck one/ 
 Said Lizzie to Charley, "That matters not, hun/^ 
 Said Charley to Lizzie, "It soon will be two,^^ 
 Said Lizzie to Charley, "I care not, do you ?'^ 
 Said Charley to Lizzie, "It's just striking three," 
 Said Lizzie to Charley, "That troubles not me." 
 Said Charley to Lizzie, "It next will be four," 
 Said Lizzie to Charley, "Just hug me once more." 
 Said Charley to Lizzie, "Will you be my wife ?" 
 Said Lizzie to Charley, "I'll pledge you my life." 
 Said Charley to Lizzie, "I'll give you my heart," 
 Said Lizzie to Charley, "Take mine ere we part." 
 Said Charley to Lizzie, "Shall I ask your Pa ?" 
 Said Lizzie to Charley, "I did ask my Ma." 
 Said Charley to Lizzie, "Can I come again ?" 
 Said Lizzie to Charley, "Just come when you can.' 
 Said Charlie to Lizzie, "I'll bid you adieu," 
 Said Lizzie to Charley, "I'll ne'er forget you." 
 
 353 
 
CLOSE OF SCHOOL 
 
 A summer school of thirty-six, 
 
 At school-house number five, 
 To every pupil I'll affix 
 
 A word to keep alive. 
 Emma, Josie, Flora, and Kate, 
 
 Tn one proud class they stand, 
 And none could find a better mate 
 
 Than join this happy band. 
 Then Lizzie, Nellie, and Minnie walks 
 
 So proudly into rank. 
 And then their lessons each one talks. 
 
 So nobly and so frank. 
 A step below stands Charley boy. 
 
 As brave as Jackson was. 
 His tender mind he does employ 
 
 To emulate his cause. 
 Ida and Effie, Mollie, too, 
 
 With Johnnie by their side. 
 And Sherman boy, so brave and true. 
 
 Their lessons are their pride. 
 354 
 
CLOSE OF SCHOOL 
 
 Ehoda and Euie I must name, 
 
 To make this piece complete, 
 Though Hattie and Dollie are the same. 
 
 Their charms I love to greet. 
 Eo'sie, Minnie, and Harry Sharp, 
 
 By nature quick q| wit; 
 Their faces bright as any harp 
 
 When in their seats they sit. 
 And Manford Kelsey, I must rh5nQae, 
 
 Though others I can^t name. 
 1^11 name you all some other time. 
 
 When I have greater fame. 
 And now another word 1^11 say 
 
 In honor of my school. 
 Remember me, be where you may. 
 
 And don^t forget my rule. 
 For here weVe been a happy clan. 
 
 In this year Seventy-seven ; 
 And if we never meet again. 
 
 Then let us meet in Heaven. 
 
 355 
 
THE NYMPH OF SEVENTEEN 
 
 Full many songs of birds are lost, 
 Full many gems are nipped by frost. 
 Full many zephyrs are unheard^ 
 Full many violate the word 
 That God has left for us 
 To obey. 
 
 There's many birds upon the wing 
 That make the morning welkins ring; 
 That clothe the world in raptures strong; 
 That chirp their songs the live day long; 
 Though seldom do they fuss 
 In their play. 
 
 The flowering almond and the rose; 
 The climbing vine that upward grows; 
 The creeping moss, the poppy spread 
 The tinted purple and the red, 
 Are born to live serene 
 As they grow. 
 
 . 356 
 
THE NYMPH OF SEVENTEEN 
 
 There^s many things both fair and bright, 
 The nightingale sings after night, 
 And for all things my G-od I thank, 
 That last He made, though first in rank. 
 Was n3rtnphs of seventeen. 
 That you know. 
 
 35^ 
 
SUNDAY SCHOOL 
 
 I love to go to Sunday School^ 
 For there we learn the Golden Etile, 
 And Jesus gives us work to do 
 For smaller hands than mine are, too. 
 He teaches us that we should be 
 From wickedness forever free. 
 He tells us, too, that we should love 
 The good on Earth and all above; 
 And all his teachings are so mild, 
 He guides the youth. He leads the child; 
 The older ones He teaches, too. 
 And this is what He says to do : 
 Obey the right, and shun the wrong. 
 And help to sing the glorious song 
 That Angels sang long years before. 
 Some nineteen hundred years or more. 
 And still they .sing that song to-day. 
 While we are kneeling down to pray; 
 They sing for me, as well as you, 
 That dear old song so good and true. 
 358 
 
SUNDAY SCHOOL 
 
 I hear the echo of their voice, 
 And how it made them all rejoice 
 While gathered round the altar there 
 And listening to our fen^ent prayer. 
 The gates of Heaven stand ajar, 
 For Jesus Christ has said they are, 
 And angels standing in the door 
 Upon that ever-radiant shore, 
 In robes of Heaven's purest white. 
 With golden crowns and armors bright; 
 Escutcheons pure at God's right hand. 
 To walk the streets in that fair land. 
 Those crowns of victory, too, they say. 
 Are for us all, if we obey 
 The laws of God, our Heavenly King, 
 And to Him all our troubles bring. 
 For Christ has said, in time of grief, 
 "Come unto Me, Til give relief,'" 
 And all thy burdens will I bear, 
 And all thy troubles will I share. 
 My burden easy, yoke is light, 
 For all who do not wrong, but right. 
 The way is easy, let us go, 
 And then our Savior we shall know, 
 359 
 
SUNDAY SCHOOL 
 
 And with departed friends unite 
 
 When we from earth shall take onr flight. 
 
 By faith, I think, I plainly see, 
 
 And hear them call for yon and me ; 
 
 For Mamma dear is over there. 
 
 And little brother, too, so fair. 
 
 For they long since have gone to dwell 
 
 With Jesus and His love to tell. 
 
 Then don't forget the Sabbath School, 
 
 For here we learn the Golden Eule. 
 
 360 
 
A DREAM 
 
 Far distant the mountains, the valleys beneath, 
 Where Zelia was carefully shaping her wreath ; 
 The bosom of Wild Cat was placidly still, 
 ISTo sound could I hear on approaching the mill. 
 The mill was in silence and all was at rest, 
 And clouds there were only a few in the west. 
 Which slowly grew smaller till presently they 
 Receded from sight and were passing away. 
 Daylight was approaching and shortly would dawn, 
 And darkness that night would forever be gone. 
 All Nature was clothed in her foliage green, 
 As distance enchantment does add to the scene. 
 The red breasts were singing, the turtle doves cooing. 
 The cows in the valley all seemed to be lowing. 
 When passing the palace, I chanced her to spy 
 In the light of the sun that illumined the sky. 
 The days of my youth and of manhood combined. 
 For youthward my mind for a moment inclined. 
 When something came to me and to me it said. 
 Who'd picture such paintings if poets were dead. 
 361 
 
A DKEAM 
 
 Then straightway it left me, its mission had ended. 
 As prelude to thought it upward ascended, 
 And left me to wonder (but not to it speak). 
 What mystic came o'er me that makes me so weak. 
 My mind had grown weary, my patience was taxed, 
 My body unnerved, and my system relaxed. 
 For grand was the vision, sublime was the scene; 
 Alas ! when I woke it was only a dream. 
 
 3(3^ 
 
MORE TROUBLE THAN PLEASURE 
 
 A troublesome path was allotted to me, 
 More trouble than pleasure, as far as I see. 
 From childhood to manhood, as true as my God, 
 I look with regret at the path that I've trod, 
 The words that I've uttered, the deeds that I've done 
 I shudder to think of the course that I've run. 
 Yet, when I remember there's nothing so bad 
 That ever I did that it makes me feel glad. 
 It's always been so, but I can not tell why ; 
 I fear it will always be so till I die. 
 But this much is true, or at least in the main, 
 That should it be so I shall never complain ; 
 But bear it all patiently, weeping no more, 
 The days of my sorrows will shortly be o'er. 
 But in this connection, I've this much to say ; 
 And while I'm unwinding I'll say it to-day. 
 And heed what I say, for I'll tell you the truth. 
 For now I'm past forty and not in my youth. 
 In youth I did wrong in the sight of God's laws, 
 But now then I live for the good of the cause, 
 363 
 
MORE TROUBLE THAN PLEASURE 
 
 I teach it and preach it as well as I can, 
 And try an example to set nnto man. 
 Although it seems better to tell yon the truth, 
 If I could have died in the days of my youth, 
 And thereby avoided the trouble and care 
 That^s been me allotted full more than my share. 
 For this is most true, but I don^t like to tell it : 
 My life was a failure, and failure don't spell it. 
 But what I have done, or what still I may do. 
 To me it is much, but 'tis nothing to you. 
 And this I shall say unto foe and to friend, 
 You'll find me in Heaven, I hope in the end. 
 While here a timidity holding control 
 Has preyed on my peace and it- ruined my soul ; 
 It caused me to do what I'd otherwise not. 
 And, "Father, forgive me," to-day is my thought. 
 My prospects were often much brighter than gold, 
 But when I reached for them, I always got sold. 
 Full many a castle I built in the air. 
 But here was the trouble — I never got there ; 
 In mind I soared high, but as often lit low, 
 I met with reverse wherever I'd go. 
 For Satan, it seems, had control of the star 
 That niled o'er my pathway, and always he'd mar 
 364 
 
MORE TROUBLE THAN PLEASURE 
 
 The better-laid plans, and the feelings within. 
 And crush it all down with a crash and a din. 
 But this I will tell you, and tell you with pride, 
 I never gave up nor yet sat down and cried 
 For things that have happened and not to my taste, 
 For time spent in weeping is only a waste; 
 And wasted forever, 'twill never return, 
 I think it's a maxim that many should learn. 
 My motto has been, and forever it will, 
 "Let come what may come, but Til be a man still." 
 In early manhood I tried many a way 
 To lighten the toil in the heat of the day ; 
 I taught, and I canvassed, I run a saw-mill. 
 And then I tried farming and tried with a will. 
 But that was no better, as shortly I found. 
 In turning the stubble and tilling the ground; 
 In growing the wheat, and the corn, and the cane, 
 I think it a wonder I wasn't insane. 
 But this much I've learned in my days of manhood 
 That fretting and grieving are fraught with no good ; 
 For fretting and grieving, as now I construe it, 
 Is crossing the waters before you get to it. 
 Though often in viewing the trend of my path 
 It fills me all over with envy and wrath, 
 365 
 
MORE TROUBLE THAN PLEASURE 
 
 Because of my errors, so plain to me now ; 
 But here was the trouble, as one would allow. 
 My foresight was looking to things not begun. 
 My hindsight is viewing the things that l\e done. 
 But that we^ll let pass and we'll turn to the next. 
 And closer weTl stay, if we can, to the text. 
 In all of my life, and in all of my nooks. 
 In one I succeeded and that was my books ; 
 And when I decided to lay them aside, 
 I say it with shame that I'd better have died. 
 And this is a fact that I'd rather die now 
 Than go to the farm and there follow the plow; 
 And tend to the horses, the cows, and the hogs. 
 And in the cold winter to haul the sawlogs. 
 Of all of my errors, the greatest I made. 
 And one of all others that most on me preyed, 
 That robbed me of peace, and that robbed me of rest. 
 That robbed me of friends, and that left me dis- 
 tressed, 
 Was dealt by a brother-in-law, by the way, too. 
 And one in whose honor I trusted most true ; 
 But this is not right, that I talk out of school, 
 For he did the lying and I was the fool ; 
 
 366 
 
MORE TEOUBLE THAN PLEASURE 
 
 But I shall forgive him, as well as I can, 
 
 And turn to my story, where first I began. 
 
 And if you'll excuse me, my readers, I mean, 
 
 I'll write no more lines on this miserable theme, 
 
 1^11 put both my book and my pencil away. 
 
 Though many things more I might tell you to-day; 
 
 But if you'll excuse me and pardon my gall, 
 
 I'll tell you just this, and then that will be all : 
 
 I would not change places with one of my foes 
 
 For all of their cash and full half of their clothes. 
 
 Their hogs, and their horses, their dogs, and their 
 
 cats, 
 Their dishes, and cupboards, and all of their brats. 
 But stop me, I'm wrong, for I think they've got 
 
 none. 
 But one they've adopted and call it their own. 
 Its name 1 doji't know but they call it Marie, 
 A very nice name, and in that we agree. 
 But why should I envy, or why them despise. 
 It's nothing but ignorance leading their eyes. 
 But lest you should think me lamenting to-day, 
 I'll say, in conclusion, in honor, I'll say. 
 If I could return to the night of my birth, 
 And shape my own destinies all through the earth, 
 367 
 
MOEE TROUBLE THAN PLEASUEE 
 
 And lay up vast treasures of gold by the ton. 
 
 And travel the distance from earth to the sun. 
 
 And visit at leisure both Venus and Mars, 
 
 And see all the planets embattled in wars, 
 
 And also to visit the Man in the Moon, 
 
 And make the whole trip in a paper balloon. 
 
 If with it Yd have to my muses avoid, 
 
 And give up my children, both Lela and Lloyd, 
 
 rd tell you, I thank you, sir, I'm not the man 
 
 To size up Dame Nature in such a short span. 
 
 Vd rather go leisurely rhyming along. 
 
 Recording my thoughts and composing my song. 
 
 As well as preparing to dwell with the blest. 
 
 When all of my foes will have given me rest. 
 
 My friends will outnumber my foes, I believe. 
 
 When all of my writings the j)ublic receive; 
 
 The public will place me just where I belong. 
 
 Though some may condemn me for writing this song. 
 
 368 
 
HOW HE POPPED THE QUESTION 
 
 She waltzed so nicely at the hop, 
 I thought the question I would pop ; 
 "But first/' said he, "TM better stop, 
 And straight to her a letter drop. 
 And ask her if she thinks her pop 
 Would boot, or use me as a mop 
 If I should step into his shop 
 And tell that Fm not a fop, 
 But want to get his female crop/' 
 The answer was, "I'm sure he'll not. 
 He'll say, 'My friend, I'll tell you what. 
 To me it is a happy thought. 
 And I shall help you in your plot. 
 For I am sure you're not a sot, 
 And have for her a handsome cot. 
 And more than that an ancient grot. 
 So take her straight unto the spot. 
 And may she please you to a dot. 
 My own fair daughter, Katie Crott.' " 
 
 369 
 
PIPIKGER THE FISHERMAN 
 
 There are some people on the creek^ 
 
 And Pipinger's the name;, 
 For better sport they never seek 
 
 Than fish and hunt for game. 
 It seems that they were bnilt that way, 
 
 To fish and hunt, you know, 
 The greater part of every day. 
 
 No matter how things go, 
 They moved about as slow as time. 
 
 And loitered as they went ; 
 And if I can, I'll tell in rhyme 
 
 Just how their time was spent. 
 Well — not just how, but best I can, 
 
 If I the truth must tell; 
 But 'pon the honor of a man, 
 
 ITl let my fancy swell. 
 And those who pleases, may it read. 
 
 But let my story go it. 
 For it's the truth in part, indeed. 
 
 Though written by a poet. 
 370 
 
PIPINGEK THP] FISHERMAN 
 
 I'll never laud them to the sky, 
 
 Much less will I condemn. 
 But rather please my fancVs eye. 
 
 And kindly speak of them. 
 For like the rest of Adam's race, 
 
 I've quite enough to do 
 To fill my own allotted place 
 
 In telling what is true. 
 But then a poet never did, 
 
 And never can refrain 
 From courting fancy, God forbid. 
 
 In making up his train. 
 They farm, it's true, quite meagre, though. 
 
 And live as mustees do. 
 And when apast the house I go, 
 
 I'm forced to cry out, "pew." 
 The fishes all within Wild Cat 
 
 Were snagged on Pippie's hook, 
 For they are like a beetle that 
 
 Is found in every nook. 
 Were I a fish of any form. 
 
 From tadpole to a whale, 
 I'd try old Pippie's hook to scorn. 
 
 And save my precious scale. 
 371 
 
PIPINGEE THE FISHEEMAN 
 
 From Wild Cat waters I'd migrate. 
 
 And seek a different shore; 
 I'd pass the liquid palace gate, 
 
 As others have before. 
 I'd pass the great Niag^ry Falls, 
 
 And face the rapids steep, 
 I'd rest not till I'd reach the walls 
 
 Of some great ocean deep; 
 And there I'd rest my wearied fins 
 
 All safe from Pippie's hook. 
 Where many fishes' life begins 
 
 And ends in Wild Cat brook. 
 The cat, the sucker, and the bass, 
 
 All laid a plot one day ; 
 Their object was to live on grass 
 
 And from old Pippie stay. 
 The solemn vow the bass pronounced; 
 
 The sucker vowed consent; 
 The catfish, too, with rapture flounced, 
 
 And thus the program went. 
 Great preparations, too, were made 
 
 To live and yet to fast. 
 And every fish new pledges made 
 
 To hold out to the last. 
 372 
 
PIPINGEE THE FISHERMAN 
 
 Next day the fishes, in their prime, 
 
 Made war upon the grass ; 
 They passed old Pip five hundred times. 
 And said, "He's clinked with brass/' 
 Upon his hook he put a worm, 
 
 To be a luscious bait; 
 He poured upon it oil or sperm. 
 
 And then sat down to wait. 
 And there he long with patience sat; 
 
 With patience did he try, 
 Until as hungi-y as a rat 
 He almost had to cry. 
 And then enraged old Pippie grew. 
 
 For not a fish he caught; 
 He tore his hair, he stamped his shoe. 
 Then to himself he thought : 
 •'Well, by the powers of mud to-night, 
 
 A catfish I will catch." 
 His bait, he said, he'd have just right, 
 
 Or dig up all his patch ; 
 And now old Pip made up his mind 
 
 That he for home was bent. 
 And as he turned, he stepped behind, 
 xlnd to the bottom went. 
 373 
 
PIPINGER THE FISHEEMAN 
 
 l^ow Pipinger, though strange to say, 
 Had never learned to swim, 
 
 And while the fish had been his prey. 
 They now would prey on him. 
 
 374 
 
MELL AND OLLIE 
 
 There is a young couple, both hearty and hale. 
 And both are quite tall and as fat as a nail ; 
 There's nothing about them that's small but their 
 
 feet. 
 And that they forget when they meet on the street. 
 Their neighbors all knoAv and will tell you the same 
 That for that misfortune they're hardly to blame. 
 For nature created them, male and female. 
 To love and to live until death shall prevail ; 
 And this much I'll tell you, because it's the truth. 
 They'll never get married too early in youth. 
 If ever our planet a flood should destroy, 
 This matchless young couple their length would em- 
 ploy; 
 They'd hook their nose over one end of the moon, 
 And make the grand circuit as dry as a coon. 
 I fancy I see them both sweeping around. 
 Their nose on the moon and their feet on the ground, 
 And all the field glasses 'twixt Heaven and — well, 
 It seems to me now that I'd better not tell. 
 375 
 
MELL AND OLLIE 
 
 They act very shy in conducting their ruse — 
 She fears he won't ask, and he fears she'll refuse. 
 And often I've heard that in sweetest repose 
 He dreams that he kisses her under the nose. 
 To be more explicit, their names I must tell — 
 The lass we call Ollie, the lad we call Mell. 
 To prove he's in earnest, at least on his part, 
 They tell me he's taken a lien on her heart, 
 And that I don't doubt, for I've often heard said. 
 They both hug the pillow on going to bed. 
 A messenger boy is employed, they say. 
 Their mail to look after, three letters a day. 
 One goes in the morning, at noon, and at night. 
 Each day the poor boy is tired out right. 
 The stipend he gets in a pittance, I've heard; 
 He gives him a penny, she pledges her word. 
 In hieroglyphics, to both of them known. 
 She calls him her darling, he calls her his own. 
 And then with his hands in his pockets well chugged. 
 He thinks, my dear Ollie, you ought to be hugged. 
 What Ollie might say, or what Ollie might think. 
 Is only conjecture, but think she would wink. 
 And Mell I do think would enjoy the match; 
 He'd hug her and buss her and not leave a scratch. 
 376 
 
MELL AND OLLIE 
 
 And Ollie, I^m sure, would reciprocate all ; 
 
 She, too, would him hug, and pet names she would 
 
 call; 
 His mustache she'd fondle, and slyly draw near, 
 And proA^e that she loved him hy pulling his ear. 
 Now this is all right, for they're fond of the sport ; 
 Perhaps it is wicked that I should report ; 
 But this is my nature, just why I don't know, 
 My thoughts to record as my thoughts come and go. 
 
 377 
 
THE FOOLISH LITTLE LADY 
 
 Respected Lady: 
 
 I frankly admit that I was very pleasantly and 
 agreeably surprised to learn that you desired to gain 
 my acquaintance, and, in compliance with your re- 
 quest, i shall be more than pleased to meet you at 
 the time and place designated in your letter, but 
 permit me to tell you that if: 
 
 For fortune, looks, or fame. 
 You've learned to praise my name, 
 A great mistake you've made. 
 Though meet me as you said, 
 And you will soon have learned that I 
 Speak the truth when I tell you that ; 
 I^m ill prepared to shine, 
 But as I love to rhyme. 
 And have e'er since my youth, 
 I'll speak to you the truth. 
 And tell you with all the sincerity 
 Of a candid heart, that, 
 378 
 
THE FOOLISH LITTLE LADY 
 
 Since you have trouble taken 
 
 My heart to love awaken, 
 
 1^11 pay you for your trouble — 
 
 Yes, pay you four times double. 
 
 But, as I've already said, I'm ill prepared to 
 
 Shine in company, yet I shall endeavor to 
 
 Make myself agreeable, and, 
 
 I only ask the pleasure. 
 
 For sure 'twill be a treasure 
 
 To meet one so kind-hearted. 
 
 Though soon we must be parted. 
 
 And then, according to my luckless lot 
 
 In life, it will, doubtless, be years before I 
 
 Shall again be permitted to meet 
 
 A face so fair and handsome, 
 
 Or hear a voice so winsome 
 
 As those of yours. Miss Taylor, 
 
 When first you called me Sayler. 
 
 379 
 
MY OWN ACEOSTIC 
 
 Go fling the starry banners out, 
 
 E'en to the eastern skies, 
 Our noble emblem fling about 
 
 Eegardless of their cries. 
 Grrasp cutler, sword, and rifles charged, 
 
 Each lash the buckler by ; 
 Stand firm until the dead's enlarged 
 
 Above the welkin sky. 
 Yea, volleys roar, and smoke arise. 
 
 Loud thunder is the peal ; 
 Each volley fired and man that dies 
 
 Reverses Turkey's zeal. 
 
 im 
 
THE CEEAMERY FOLKS 
 
 There's been a great stir on the banks of White Lick, 
 Where Lincoln Street loses itself in the creek. 
 I hardly know why, but I think I can guess. 
 The creamery folks have got into a mess. 
 At first they turn purple, and then they turn white. 
 As much as to say there is sometliing not right 
 About the darned thing on the banks of the creek, 
 For surely somebody has played them a trick. 
 But this much remember, and don't be a fool. 
 The butter will come if you keep the milk cool. 
 My father oft told me, 'twas always the best 
 To do the work nicely and then take a rest. 
 ^'Don't wait for to-morrow, but do it to-day," 
 Was always his motto, and still it's my way. 
 And this I will say to the creamery folks 
 (If they don't object to me cracking my jokes). 
 That thinking and doing are not quite the same; 
 Perhaps you were careless, then you're to blame. 
 But this much remember, and don't be a fool, 
 The butter will come if you keep the milk cool. 
 381 
 
THE CREAMEEY FOLKS 
 
 Some say it is this^ and some say it is that; 
 Some wait to cool off and then lay off their hat; 
 Some call for their butter^ and some for their 
 
 cheese ; 
 Some bring in their milk, and some seem to be 
 
 pleased ; 
 Some think it is funny, and others not qnite; 
 But all have agi-eed that there is something not right 
 About the darned thing on the banks of the creek, 
 For surely somebody has played them a trick. 
 But this'Uiuch remember, and don't be a fool. 
 The butter will come if you keep the milk cool. 
 
 382 
 
WHEN WE LIVED IN HAZELWOOD 
 
 When we lived down in Hazelwood 
 We did like others, best we could ; 
 We had enough to eat and wear, 
 But never had a cent to spare. 
 It^s true at times we walked the floor, 
 And other times we almost swore, 
 For, though no matter what we meant, 
 The landlord pressed us for his rent. 
 And this is right, of course it is. 
 Because it forms a part of his 
 Exchequer, as some people say. 
 Or ready cash, or what they may. 
 It^s cash that causes all to go ; 
 It^s cash that sets the world aglow ; 
 Without the cash we all stand still. 
 Withdraw it and you^ll stop the mill, 
 Contract it and you^ll cripple trade. 
 Inflate and what a change is made. 
 We first lived in the little square, 
 But had no peace while living there, 
 383 
 
WHEN WE LIVED IN HAZELWOOD 
 
 For every cent by chance we got 
 The landlord called straight on the spot. 
 He'd hint at this and then at that^ 
 Then swear^, "I'm hungry as a rat, 
 Without a cent to fill my larder, 
 Hence I must try a little harder 
 To get my dues/' and then he'd swear 
 At tenants here and tenants there, 
 And all the time he'd chew his wad, 
 And tell us how he loved his G^od ; 
 And then he'd squirt tobacco spit. 
 As if a nail he meant to hit ; 
 When, 'pon my word, it's not a yarn, 
 He couldn't hit Milt Denny's barn. 
 If stood tlie barn two feet away 
 And he dared not to use foul play. 
 He spits enough, well, yes, G-od knows. 
 To fill a six-inch rubber hose; 
 But here's the trouble in the case. 
 His mouth takes up full half his face. 
 His nose and chin both stand awry. 
 And cocalorium is his eye. 
 And when he ready is to squirt 
 Tobacco spit, he'll first exert 
 384 
 
WHEN WE LIVED IN HAZELWOOD 
 
 Himself, as did the fabled toad 
 That met the ox upon the road. 
 He^ll first arrange his lips and tongue, 
 As if on pivots they were hung, 
 And then you^ll see him sucking air, 
 And then he'll spit, no telling where. 
 One fourth the spittle stays within, 
 And half, at least, lands on his chin, 
 And if there is a bit to spare. 
 It flies at random in the air. 
 But we'll return, for surely it's 
 Enough of how the landlord spits ; 
 And now again to thread the case 
 And serve his lordship and his grace, 
 I'll ask him if he didn't shiver 
 When, as I've heard, he swam the river. 
 His neighbors say he didn't tarry 
 Upon the shore, nor call a ferry. 
 Nor did he hunt a shallow place. 
 Nor did he stop to offer grace. 
 'Twas instinct taught him, I suppose. 
 And so plunged in with all his clothes. 
 I've said before, he didn't wait ; 
 Well, no, sir, not in such a strait, 
 385 
 
WHEN WE IJVED m HAZELWOOD 
 
 And scarcely did he dare look back, 
 For close the mob was on his track. 
 His lordship, now all dripping wet, 
 Began to curse and then to fret; 
 He cursed his fate all through his life, 
 And wondered if they'd harm his wife, 
 And if heM dare again return, 
 And who concocted the concern ; 
 And what they meant, with or without it, 
 And why they came to go about it 
 In such a rude, unmanly way. 
 And why at night instead of day? 
 The only answer I can give 
 In short, is this, "The way you live; 
 The way you treat your fellow man. 
 Is where the trouble all began," 
 For best of people have their faults. 
 And worst of people make assaults 
 Upon the very best of men, 
 And falsify them vaguely, when. 
 If but the truth were fairly told, 
 TheyM slink away not half so bold. 
 He thinks, perhaps, it's not well known 
 (But that's his fault, and not my own) 
 386 
 
WHEN WE IJVED TX HAZELWOOD 
 
 How once it made him quake and shiver. 
 To beat the mob he swam the river ; 
 And in that way he paid a debt, 
 But people never will forget 
 That gratitude should first be paid, 
 N'o matter how the debt was made. 
 And if from me he'll take advice, 
 
 "Sir, act like men and not like mice," 
 And if you don't, sir, then beware, 
 Or you'll be dangling in the air ; 
 Sir, you'll be stretching hemp at best. 
 And form a coroner's inquest. 
 And then your epitaph should read, 
 
 "Here lies a man who was, indeed. 
 To base iniquity inclined. 
 The lowest, meanest, of mankind." 
 And he who champions his cause 
 Must violate all moral laws. 
 I've heard it said, and think it's true. 
 That with the bird the tail goes, too. 
 And he who tries to dodge this rule 
 Will only prove himself a fool. 
 I'll now proceed to close my song. 
 Lest it by chance should be too long, 
 387 
 
WHEN WE LIVED IN HAZELWOOD 
 
 And if my friend should ask me who 
 I meant it for, it's not for you ; 
 But should he ask me was it Jess, 
 Why, then, my answer would be, "yes." 
 
 388 
 
THE SLANDERER 
 
 Sarcastic, bombastiC;, unprincipled slang, 
 
 Like raindrops that patter, yes, patter and bang ; 
 
 They burst forth irregular and without rule. 
 
 For murky depravity teaches their school. 
 
 Without a preceptor, a guard, or a guide, 
 
 Their brains they dash out and then swell up their 
 
 hide ; 
 They laugh at the turtle, they scorn at the fox, 
 They're like the vain frog that once envied the ox. 
 The wise they detest, and the sage they abhor, , 
 And if you look gravely, they'll ask you "what for ?" 
 And if you a subject approach that's profound. 
 They'll stutter, and stammer, and look all around. 
 Perchance you speak to them, they'll say thus and so. 
 And ask them a question, they'll say, "I don't know." 
 Their brains are contracted and can not go deep. 
 But never are silent except when asleep ; 
 They talk of the wind, and the mud, and the rain, 
 In which they find pleasure, but where is the gain ? 
 389 
 
THE SLANDERER 
 
 Of plowing and ditching, and tending the crop, 
 
 Of going to market, and then to the shop. 
 
 But I must desist or I'll call them by name, 
 
 For they were born boorish, and they're not to blame. 
 
 There's none in their presence are safe anywhere. 
 
 Then hang the cursed babblers (but stop, did I 
 
 swear?) 
 I fear that I did, for my passions inin high. 
 When speaking of babblers Avho live, well, but why? 
 
 390 
 
APPETITE 
 
 The vilest master of mankind 
 
 Three times a day we serve^, 
 And that is why so many minds 
 
 Are destitute of nerve. 
 From early dawn to close of day 
 
 The food is ushered in^ 
 And then we're often heard to say, 
 
 ''^Such health, it is a sin." 
 But Nature gives us all good health, 
 
 If we obey the laws 
 That God bestows in endless wealth 
 
 To serve a holy cause. 
 Three times a day, and often more, 
 
 High-seasoned food we take; 
 At five, eleven, two, and four. 
 
 We feast on pie and cake. 
 And poorly masticated, though 
 
 The stomach must digest ; 
 Yet many peoj^le fail to know 
 
 The stomach must have rest. 
 391 
 
APPETITE 
 
 They never give a second thought, 
 
 And if they do they spurn 
 The idea that the stomach ought 
 
 To work and rest by turn. 
 The salivary glands have not 
 
 Got time their work to do. 
 And so the stomach walls have got 
 
 The victuals all to chew. 
 When in the stomach, dry as leaves, 
 
 In one round ball or pile. 
 The stomach rolls, to Nature please. 
 
 And changes it to chyle. 
 A creamy substance it must be, 
 
 Made so by gastric juice. 
 And if it fails in one degree. 
 
 Then medicine they use. 
 Now, 1^11 lay down a different rule. 
 
 And it I practice, too. 
 And though I be pronounced a fool, 
 
 I don't care what you do; 
 My rule is this : Eat twice a day. 
 
 And if you'd grow any stronger. 
 Eat forty minutes, I should say. 
 
 Or e'en a little longer, 
 392 
 
APPETITE 
 
 And nothing drink of any kind, 
 'Twill only do you harm; 
 
 The salivary glands, you'll find, 
 Will do that like a charm. 
 
 393 
 
OLD-FASHIONED 
 
 They say I^m old-fashioned, for that I don^t care, 
 
 And if they condemn me Til never despair, 
 
 But stick the more close to this mundane of fame. 
 
 And grasp not for riches nor overleaped aim. 
 
 I pick up my pencil and write with all ease. 
 
 And strengthen my muses that wandered away 
 
 In the shades of the night and the scenes of the day. 
 
 Though often a victim to calumny's bust, 
 
 I never stop thinking in lieu of disgust. 
 
 Like leaves of the forest that go with the blast. 
 
 When days of the summer have come, gone, and 
 
 past. 
 The crest of the mountain, the Alps or Andes, 
 In answer to hillocks might fall on their knees. 
 And cast off their garment, their garb, and their 
 
 gown. 
 And dine with a mole-hill in sober renown. 
 The ant and the buzzard decorum would preach. 
 The frog and the turtle would meet on the beach; 
 394 
 
OLD-FASHIONED 
 
 The valley between them would wait on the groom. 
 She'd fry a mud-hole and she'd skin a mushroom ; 
 She'd dress in the finest of diamonds and pearl, 
 Of ninety-nine colors her banners unfurl; 
 A writ of replevin she'd issue next day 
 To rescue the talent that thus went astray. 
 
 395 
 
ON LEAVING HOME 
 
 Just ten long years ago to-day 
 
 My father's house I left, 
 And though ten years have passed away, 
 
 I then myself hereft. 
 The vilest scorns I oft receive, 
 
 For company bad I kept ; 
 I suffered death, I do believe. 
 
 In Hell I often slept ; 
 My father's word did I reject. 
 
 And boldly went away, 
 And tears I shed when I reflect — 
 
 I can't forget that day. 
 My sister's tears she did not spare. 
 
 To save me hard she tried. 
 And if my mother had been there. 
 
 My mother would have cried. 
 And yet boy-like, that stony heart. 
 
 To all it would not yield ; 
 My friends each one I bid depart, 
 
 And penitence cup I sealed. 
 396 
 
ON LEAVING HOME 
 
 My father told me as I went, 
 
 A rude boy you have been; 
 But now, dear father, I repent. 
 
 Will you forgive the sin? 
 A boy was I, of sixteen years. 
 
 Unknown to worldly cares; 
 The future looked to me most clear, 
 , But mark my words, "Beware." 
 My mind was young and immature, 
 
 For judgment, too, I lacked; 
 I hardships had enough, I^m sure, 
 
 To almost drive me back. 
 If known, had I the sad turmoil 
 
 That marked my every step, 
 The very thought I would have foiled. 
 
 At home I would have slept. 
 I worked by month, by day, by job. 
 
 Hard many ways I strove; . 
 My mind from rest I had to rob. 
 
 Inclined I was to rove. 
 I thought enjoyment's cup I'd tap. 
 
 And penitence I received. 
 As lightning leads the thunder clap. 
 
 So I, myself deceived. 
 397 
 
ON LEAVING HOME 
 
 Utopian thoughts I oft engaged, 
 
 On fancy's wing I lived, 
 But dire returns to me were waged, 
 
 And so these lines I'll give. 
 I write them, too, to warn young friends 
 
 Who want a man to be. 
 Be careful how you shape your ends, 
 
 Or trouble you will see. 
 A father's house, remember, too, 
 
 You'll seldom ever find, 
 Though stepmothers may deal with you, 
 
 To love her be inclined. 
 Eemember, that young birds that leave 
 
 Their mother's nest too young 
 Are often caught before 'tis eve, 
 
 Or they one song have sung. 
 
 398 
 
THE SAGE OF PLAINFIELD 
 
 111 Plaiiifield lived, as people say, 
 And lives there yet a man to-day 
 Possessed of much more wealth than brains, 
 Who calculates well all his gains 
 With greatest pomp, and measured pace. 
 With much pretense but doubtful grace. 
 He thinks the people owe him much, 
 And that there is no other such 
 A man in all the country round 
 In whom such graces do abound. 
 And I'll admit they're far between, 
 Compared with him can show such spleen. 
 He spends a nickel now and then. 
 But does so not like other men. 
 For every time he spends a cent 
 He tells his father where it went ; 
 I think the reason is because 
 They spend no money for gewgaws. 
 'Twas plain to see, some people said. 
 This wealthy man would like to wed, 
 399 
 
THE SAGE OP PLAINFIELD 
 
 And to the altar lead a wife^ 
 And try new pleasures thus for life. 
 He seemed to envy married men, 
 And grew quite sullen now and then. 
 At other times theyM have no doubt, 
 He dearly loved them out and out. 
 He lived at home as some men do, 
 And never yet had tried to woo ; 
 And though he felt great confidence, 
 Because of wealth and competence, 
 He hesitated yet to start, 
 Or how was best to act his part. 
 Though forty years have made their mark, 
 He thinks he's young enough to "spark," 
 (Or so it's called by people young. 
 And so it's been by poets sung.) 
 If any trouble there should be, 
 I'll tell him if he comes to me : 
 ^It matters little what you do. 
 In case the lady wants to woo ; 
 But if she don't the jig is up. 
 And disappointment fills your cup. 
 Because a woman not inclined 
 Is like the fabled hen you'll find, 
 400 
 
THE SAGE OF PLAI^FIELD 
 
 With chickens one about the copse, 
 The more you try the more she flops/' 
 I saw it not in holy writ, 
 Don't give advice without permit; 
 Hence I shall leave this wealthy man 
 To do his courting best he can. 
 And thus secure his lady fair. 
 With rosy lips and curly hair. 
 If purest thoughts inspired his mind. 
 Or softening brain, 'twas hard to find ; 
 But this I'll say in his behalf. 
 If all his neighbors at me laugh. 
 He could distinguish day from night 
 In case the sun was shining bright. 
 When he is thirsty, takes a drink. 
 And when he's hungry, eats, I think; 
 And more than that, perhaps, he knows. 
 In his opinion, I suppose. 
 But be the matter as it will. 
 He found himself a lover still ; 
 But who he loved 'twas hard to tell. 
 Or who loved him, perhaps, as well ; 
 But courage pressed him forth to wed. 
 And try new pleasures, so he said. 
 401 
 
THE SAGE OF PLAIHFIELD 
 
 This seemed to be his greatest care, 
 And to his Grod his daily prayer, 
 That ere he dies to taste the life 
 Of husband kind and loving wife. 
 He built high castles in the air, 
 And with his fingers combed his hair ; 
 And then to practice, I suppose. 
 He dressed himself in his good clothes. 
 Then to his sister tipped his hat, 
 And then he sang, ta-rat-tat-tat. 
 If he'll accept a friend's advice, 
 I'll give it briefly free of price : 
 ^A good wife is a splendid thing. 
 But in her mouth may be a sting. 
 And like an adder it may bite. 
 And with it she may show you fight. 
 Her tongue is — well, I'll not abuse it. 
 But some of them know how to use it. 
 But pardon me for what I've said ; 
 A blonde or brunette I would wed, 
 Though red-haired women some men know 
 Are angels yet in embryo. 
 But if I thought of wedding one, 
 I'd say my prayers ere I begun, 
 402 
 
THE SAGE OF PLAINFIELD 
 
 But I've no further fault to find, 
 No matter how my lord's inclined/' 
 I'll write him up since I began, 
 And tell the truth the best I can. 
 And if I fail in one degree, 
 Charge that to him, but not to me ; 
 For I to treat him fair am prone. 
 And give his thoughts and not my own, 
 Or, should I fail in any part. 
 It's of the brain and not the heart. 
 Yet what I've said is reason still. 
 For reason but confirms the will. 
 Now he may think (for poets sing) 
 That wedlock is a splendid thing. 
 But I'll remind him as he goes 
 That richest soil oft overflows ; 
 That blackest hair is soonest gray ; 
 That darkest night precedes the day ; 
 That right is right and wrongs no man, 
 Say what you will, do what you can ; 
 That those who laugh may weep in turn. 
 When death shall claim the whole concern ; 
 For all that's born are born to die. 
 That he might err, and so might I. 
 403 
 
THE SAGE OF PLAINFIELD 
 
 And this 1^11 say with earnest thought, 
 Perhaps it is, perhaps if s not ; 
 But pardon me, if I^m a fool. 
 Because I know no better rule 
 Than to be governed in a sense 
 By both the past and future tense ; 
 And by that rule 1^11 warn the sage 
 To study well his present age. 
 For judgment best in him appears 
 Who never weds in later years. 
 But let him choose a lady fair 
 To bless him with a worthy heir; 
 To soothe his cares and bear his strife 
 And guide him o'er the stream of life. 
 Where he may dwell on fancy^s wing 
 In lands of which the poets sing. 
 In lands of everlasting bliss. 
 He may think that, but I think this. 
 That married life is real life. 
 No matter who may be the wife. 
 And he who thinks it otherwise 
 May learn it diiferent ere he dies. 
 And men who lived as did the sage, 
 Till forty years or more of age, 
 404 
 
THE SAGE OF PLAmFIELD 
 
 And been accustomed all his days 
 To have his own in all his ways. 
 Had better study well the part 
 That lies concealed in woman's heart; 
 But Td not dare to criticise 
 The love that's written in their eyes, 
 For when they're wed, poor things, they find 
 The man they wed is not so kind, 
 Who shortly proves a base ingrate 
 For favors won in life's estate. 
 Let single men this field explore 
 As well they may, and even more. 
 For since my precept all divine. 
 Like beasts and birds they, too, should join. 
 And not evade nor turn aside 
 From pleasures they have never tried. 
 The single man may have the gout, 
 And all his teeth be dropping out. 
 And this be wrong, and nothing right, 
 And all things else be out of sight. 
 Yet single life is not the best. 
 As many men can well attest. 
 And while the single bear the yoke. 
 The married man can well invoke 
 405 
 
THE SAGE OF PLAINFIELD 
 
 The blessings of the heavenly shrine, 
 The God that made us is divine. 
 Domestic clouds portentous rise, 
 (Though blessings often in disguise), 
 But I prefer (as I confess) 
 To be excused from such a mess. 
 But family frays, it seems to me. 
 Of later years have come to be 
 A panacea for all ills. 
 So let them fight, as fight they will. 
 And when they fight, it's just to say. 
 The weaker often wins the day. 
 For such a fight is much an art. 
 The use of tongue, and not the dart. 
 And never yet was known a man 
 To use his tongue as woman can. 
 There's none so pure and few so fair 
 That wicked ones will not declare 
 That wanton wickedness is rife. 
 And rules supreme with every wife. 
 But such foul language don't regard 
 Nor scorn the lines of any bard 
 Who dares his mother^s sex defend 
 And all her virtues to commend ; 
 400 
 
THE SAGE OF PLAINFIELD 
 
 For this I learned when but a boy^ 
 That of all things that men enjoy, 
 And of all gifts from highest heaven, 
 The best of all was woman given. 
 Our great grandsire, as I believe. 
 Was miserable without his Eve, 
 And as with him, it is to-day, 
 Man all alone will pine away. 
 And in a very little while 
 The grave would claim his funeral pile. 
 Man^s very nature seems to nod. 
 And by instinct depend on God, 
 Who taught the herds of fields and wood 
 With so much skill to choose their food ; 
 The bee to build its octave cell, 
 And formed the limbs of the gazelle; 
 Who taught the little birds to fly; 
 The cat to mew, the child to cry ; 
 AVho taught the ant its hole to bore. 
 And lay away its winter store ; 
 The spider how its web to build, 
 And all the world with raptures filled. 
 Thus reasons this man of Plainfield, 
 And I, at once, the point will yield, 
 407 
 
THE SAGE OF PLAINFIELD 
 
 Because I think he reasons well, 
 As subsequently all can tell. 
 He called his neighbors, some, not all, 
 To meet him in the old town hall, 
 To ask advice of those who came. 
 But have his own way just the same ; 
 For bachelors of every grade 
 Are like the fabled sour old maid. 
 Who want their own way in the end, 
 No matter who they may offend. 
 The first who came was Jonathan ; 
 The conversation thus began : 
 Said he, "IVe pondered well my age. 
 Full forty years,^^ began the sage. 
 'Vye lived a quiet, sober life. 
 And now I seek to take a wife 
 And see what pleasures I may find 
 That God has placed in womankind; 
 Though all the pleasures and the sense 
 Is health, and peace, and competence. 
 I know the folly of my course. 
 And guilty plead with all my force. 
 Hence, you IVe called, my worthy friend, 
 To ask advice for such an end ; 
 408 
 
THE SAGE OF PLAINFIELD 
 
 And if you give me good advice 
 
 1^11 promise not to ask it twice ; 
 
 And if we can not quite agree. 
 
 The umpire, then, of course, 1^11 be. 
 
 I serve you notice in the start 
 
 That we agree, at least in part; 
 
 For dogs and cats may quarrel and fight, 
 
 But I propose to have my right. 
 
 The married life we should esteem ; 
 
 It^s not an iridescent dream, 
 
 But all too real, all too pure. 
 
 To waste away or make obscure. 
 
 The fount is deep from which I drink; 
 
 Please tell me now, sir, what you think." 
 
 "I understand, most worthy sire, 
 
 ^Tis happiness that you desire, 
 The thing for which we well might sigh. 
 And that for which we all might die. 
 And that for which the soul of man 
 Has sought, in fact, since time began. 
 
 ^Tis plain, I think, to mortal eyes 
 That some are foolish, some are wise ; 
 Some born to follow, some to lead. 
 Some neither one, as all concede; 
 409 
 
THE SAGE OF PLAINFIELD 
 
 But you, I know, most worthy sire, 
 Will light a more congenial fire. 
 Good sense has ruled in all you do. 
 Or so your neighbors all construe. 
 You've lived in Plainfield all your days. 
 And studied many women's ways. 
 And taking all your life in view, 
 You're bound to profit by it, too. 
 In all your friends I find not one 
 To call in question what you've done; 
 So take my hand, most worthy sage, 
 You catch the bird, I'll fix the cage. 
 Because it's just and right, I'm sure, 
 That you a worthy wife secure. 
 But take this precept in relief, 
 I'll make it plain and very brief. 
 And if from me you care to learn. 
 My precept, then, please do not spurn. 
 It's this : Before you launch too deep. 
 Beware that sluggards never reap; 
 And if for happiness you care. 
 Examine well your lady fair. 
 Be not deceived by curls and bangs, 
 And frizzes on her head that hangs, 
 410 
 
THE SAGE OF PLAINFIELD 
 
 ISTor by the paint upon her face ; 
 Beware, my friend, in such a case ; 
 A multitude of sins, they say. 
 By paint is covered every day. 
 You^ll find, I think, between two lids 
 A lesson taught by katydids, 
 But who the author, I don't know. 
 An English bard, I think 'twas, though, 
 Who warns you not to lose your head 
 By choosing flesh too young in bed. 
 This caution, then, is justly sung. 
 Don't choose a wife so very young, 
 Xor yet too old with wintry face. 
 To freeze you stiff at each embrace, 
 WhoM cause the sweetest milk to curd 
 And paralyze you at each word; 
 WhoM care more for a brindle cat 
 Than you with all your sober chat. 
 Nor crafty widow should you take. 
 Much better suffer at the stake ; 
 Much better suffer anything 
 Than such as that is sure to bring. 
 Conceive me, sir, for nuptial bliss. 
 Full thirty years is not amiss. 
 411 
 
THE SAGE OF PLAINFIELD 
 
 As for the miss of tender years, 
 (At least to me it now appears), 
 May be a fond, familiar fooJ, 
 Or such a one as none could rule, 
 Who may be honest but not deep, 
 And only silent when asleep. 
 And what she says of this or that, 
 When analyzed, is silly chat 
 Of present styles, of former beaux. 
 Sometimes of these, but always those ; 
 And for you in her rich array, 
 The foolish maiden is too gay ; 
 And as for her of whom I^m told, 
 With fleeting years have grown too old. 
 Whose feet are suffering with the gout. 
 And wears her stockings inside out. 
 And while they're always free from dirt, 
 Their dresses always long of skirt; 
 Their waists are short, one might suppose, 
 Midway between the hips and nose; 
 Their garter string must be a rag. 
 And always calls a horse a "nag." 
 As turtles walk, she talks, by jerk. 
 Of how her neighbors do their work, 
 412 
 
THE SAGE OF PLAIXFIELD 
 
 And when this candidate for wife 
 Sits down to table, takes her knife, 
 Nor sips her tea, but pours it out. 
 And scatters bread crumbs roundabout; 
 And when done eating, as a rule. 
 Her cats and chickens form her school. 
 And then she calls them in the door 
 By scattering bread crumbs on the floor. 
 She never laughs but first she'll grin. 
 As if her nose would meet her chin. 
 And if she does by force of habit 
 She grows at once so devilish crabbed 
 That nothing could be much more plain 
 Than man with her would be insane. 
 Her sleeping gown must be just right, 
 Of linen made and buttoned tight, 
 With hem an inch and may be less; 
 And for her shift— well, I can't guess; 
 From such a one you'd best excuse. 
 Or take an ice-bound Arctic cruise. 
 The widow, then, of whom I wrote, 
 Would take a man without a coat ; 
 She'd snap you up like short pie crust. 
 And cry, "This way ! this way ! or bu'st" ; 
 413 
 
THE SAGE OF PLAINFIELD 
 
 Shekel lead the way, don^t be afraid, 
 Nor act so shy as would the maid; 
 And yet she might at what you said, 
 But then she wouldn't when in bed, 
 Because with man she's slept before; 
 But pardon me, I'll say no more. 
 And then her children — ^one, two, three. 
 What could you do ? — well, let me see. 
 They'd soon have learned to call you "squire, 
 And you to seek a neighbor's fire 
 Wliere, like the cat that burned her skin. 
 You'd silence keep and stay within. 
 And now, my friend, if such we be. 
 And if we're not, then what are we? 
 Take my advice, or do not whine, 
 Nor charge the fault as one of mine. 
 I've tarried long to give advice. 
 But don't intend to give it twice; 
 I've better breeding, sir, than that, 
 To wear you out with silly chat; 
 I know the merits of your case 
 And treated it with manly grace; 
 And what IVe said was for your good. 
 As brother to a brother should, 
 414 
 
THE SAGE OF PLAINFIELD 
 
 And as I\e nothing more to tell, 
 I'll bid you, then, a last farewell. 
 And if I may not you offend. 
 My sermon here is at an end/' 
 "Well, Jonathan, if that is all. 
 Then we'll joroceed to leave the hall, 
 Because to tarry longer still 
 Is the perversion of my will. 
 Though other men I looked for here 
 To give the meeting greater cheer." 
 Adjourned sine die, as I suppose. 
 Or so, at least, my story goes. 
 The sage was feeling rather weak. 
 And I've heard said he swore a streak ; 
 But that we'll pass, at least a while. 
 Because he talks in solemn style. 
 And to accuse a man like that 
 Would waste the broth and spoil the fat ; 
 And if my readers don't object, 
 I'll try to be more circumspect 
 In what I do and what I tell. 
 And what the sage does, too, as well, 
 For he might bring a damage suit. 
 If cause were given for dispute. 
 415 
 
THE SAGE OF PLAINFIELD 
 
 1^11 try to be much more discreet, 
 For that would knock me out complete. 
 Now when the meeting thus had broke. 
 They to each other never spoke ; 
 They both went home to take a rest — 
 The one went north, the other west. 
 The sage at home was soon in bed, 
 But didn^t sleep, Tyq heard it said ; 
 He rubbed his ever wakeful eyes, 
 And thus did he soliloquize: 
 '^It's plain, I think, to mortal man. 
 The treachery of Jonathan ; 
 But never knew him to be quite 
 So brazen as he was to-night. 
 He passed the rules of all decorum. 
 Where two assemble tAvo's a quorum ; 
 But he said all that could be said. 
 And fixed the rules for me to wed. 
 He scans his own decrepit fate 
 And envies me and my estate. 
 Presumptuous mortal, that I know. 
 His views from mine are far below. 
 Though candid truth, through pride concealed. 
 To me alone has been revealed, 
 416 
 
THE SAGE OF PLAINFIELD 
 
 And of a truth the way seems straight, 
 And for myself 1^11 choose a mate ; 
 The mystic sylphs shall name the day. 
 And through the circle lead the way. 
 
 41' 
 
RUTH AND RAY 
 
 Yesterday, Ruth and Ray 
 Called to see Lloyd and me. 
 •Now," said Ray, "let us j^lay 
 Hide and Seek at the creek." 
 So they went fully bent, 
 Every one for some fun; 
 And their book, too, they took 
 There to read, while indeed. 
 They should dine in the fine 
 Shady nook by the brook, 
 Near the hill, by the mill. 
 And the noise of the boys 
 Might have drove from the grove 
 Every bird, 'pon my word. 
 But they knew how they do. 
 And they sang till it rang 
 All around with their sound, 
 And they all seemed to call 
 For the girls, with their curls. 
 And the boys, with their noise. 
 418 
 
RUTH AXD RAY 
 
 Thus the day passed away, 
 Till at night it was quite 
 Time to go home, yoii know, 
 With the dog all agog, 
 With the play of the day. 
 Then they start with light heart. 
 For the sun had begam 
 Now to rest in the west. 
 When at last all is past. 
 They agree that to be 
 Children good as they should 
 Is the birthright of earth. 
 
 419 
 
ICE CKEAM PARTY 
 
 O'er the mountains eagles fly, 
 'Neath the sod we all must lie ; 
 That to-clay each other greet, 
 And the frosty ice cream eat, 
 Ely Moore and Janie, too. 
 Mat and Ell to guide us through ; 
 Frank, and Charley, Dug, and Sol, 
 George and Mattie, that is all. 
 Eound the table as we sat. 
 Each engaging in the chat, 
 Chatting gaily, it would seem, 
 As we sipped the frosty cream. 
 Thinking not of what might be, 
 Nor of troubles we might see, 
 Nor when death should claim each one. 
 As in time it will have done. 
 When this day is in the past. 
 And our fortunes we have massed. 
 Age has bowed us, health decline. 
 And our lives we must resign, 
 420 
 
ICE CREAM PARTY 
 
 Then with fondness we will turn, 
 (N"ot unto a crude concern), 
 But unto the day we met, 
 And the frosty ice cream e't. 
 Though some soon may pass away, 
 Others longer yet may stay. 
 And I, to perpetuate. 
 And our names commemorate. 
 Will my feehle pen apply. 
 That these lines when we may die 
 May still name us as we bow 
 Round the ice cream circle now; 
 And though simple they may be. 
 Yet it proper seems to me. 
 In my rude and rustic way. 
 As it were a child at play. 
 All our names to link in rhyme. 
 To be read some future time. 
 When in time more advanced years 
 Will have changed our anxious fears. 
 And we will have reached the span 
 Nature does allot to man, 
 For three score of years and ten 
 Bows with dotage most of men. 
 421 
 
ICE CRExiM PARTY 
 
 Then our hair will all be gray. 
 And our eyesight given way, 
 And our memory will fail, 
 And debility prevail. 
 And our steps be tottering, too. 
 Toward Jerusalem anew. 
 But, lest I should write too long, 
 I- 11 proceed to close my song ; 
 But I ask, if not amiss. 
 One word more, and it is this : 
 'Keep these lines, and don't forget them. 
 High on memory's mantel set them. 
 For they'll please your merchant tailor. 
 Written by G. W. Sayler." 
 
 422 
 
JUNE 
 
 The days of June have come again. 
 
 With birds, and bees, and flowers, 
 When little children sit and fan 
 
 Through all the summer hours; 
 When Nature makes the welkin ring 
 
 With her melodious sound; 
 The female chirps, the male birds sing, 
 
 And thus the time goes round. 
 The cooing do\^es, the croaking frogs. 
 
 The rustle of the leaves; 
 The gentle breeze that fans the bogs. 
 
 Then to the valleys cleave ; 
 The tinkling cow-bells in the vale. 
 
 The birds that soar on high. 
 The whirring pheasant and the quail. 
 
 To lose would be to die. 
 All this the days of June do bring. 
 
 And thousand yet untold. 
 Though vernal days, or days of spring. 
 
 These beauties do unfold. 
 
JUNE 
 
 The fruit that grows upon the twig, 
 
 The apple and the peach; 
 The neigh of horse, the grunt of pigs, 
 
 Are heard upon the beach ; 
 The squirrel that leaps from limb to limb, 
 
 The weasel and the hare. 
 The night-owl in his lonely ranch. 
 
 The lion in his lair. 
 With equal pace they all embrace 
 
 The pleasant days of June, 
 Embrace them, too, with gentle pace. 
 
 For June goes by too soon. 
 Then sultry days of August are 
 
 In thirty-one days here. 
 When all these beauties, brighter far. 
 
 Are left far in the rear. 
 The same cool breeze we felt in June 
 
 Now fans the ripening corn. 
 The very flowers it caused to bloom. 
 
 The same it leaves forlorn. 
 Autumnal frosts defoliate 
 
 What summer's sun has brought; 
 The little birds will now migrate. 
 
 As instinct has them taught. 
 424 
 
JUNE 
 
 The leaves that decked the tallest trees, 
 
 Their greenness now must lose, 
 Soon as the birds that sing to please 
 
 The sunny South will choose. 
 Their songs we'll miss in course of time, 
 
 The sparrow and the bluebird. 
 For they will seek a warmer clime 
 
 When Nature gives the word. 
 
 425 
 
THE OLD CAT AND KITTENS 
 
 One day an old cat, 
 All saucy and fat, 
 
 And kittens went out for a play ; 
 Her kittens were four, 
 Just four and no more, 
 
 And frolicsome kittens were they. 
 And as they walked out 
 They looked all about 
 
 For something both dainty and nice; 
 They soon got their wish. 
 And this was their dish — 
 
 A chipmunk, a hare and three mice. 
 "Well, now,^' said one kit, 
 "We don't care to sit 
 
 Here nursing our paws all the day, 
 The hare was so nice. 
 And so were the mice. 
 
 And now then we are in for a play." 
 They played on the green 
 Banks of a small stream, 
 
 That twittered in silence so gay, 
 426 
 
THE OLD CAT AND KITTEISTS 
 
 Among tlie tall trees^ 
 Where bevies of bees, 
 
 Were storing their nectar away. 
 The day was now spent 
 And all were content 
 
 To hasten with anxious concern, 
 In slumber to close, 
 In sweetest repose. 
 
 The day that will never return. 
 
 427 
 
I ■ !V 2 '-■ 1902 
 
LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 
 
 018 378 166 2 
 
 
 
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