2520 ,P3 Classl Book lJZj£^ ?fa Ofr ■ ■ / . — Z. ' yU t/i /i4+~, /Z^L> 7 'M^t^Luj^ /4 ^^ SCENES AT THE FAIR [Mrs. Harrowby Grey before a table covered with showy articles, and surrounded by multitudes of persons of all descriptions, whom her marshals are vainly endeavoring to keep back.] Mrs. Harrowby Grey. Most extraordinary and provoking thing I ever knew ! Mr. Houqua not yet arrived ! and here am I surrounded by millions of men — not a single article purchased! — every- body making love to me, as if this was the moment. Hun- dreds of proposals before ten o'clock this morning — that horrid, conceited Mr. Kirehspiel never been near my table this morning ! Here comes his friend and forerunner, Cap- tain Mordaunt. Good morning ! Captain Mordaunt — I de- clare, he's off! Well! I've had him for five years, and can afford to give hiin up now. There comes Mr. White Bait with Mary Killerman in her new riding habit and jockey cap — a cool dress for the season ! What does she look like ? Mr. White Bait. Like Diana Vernon. [Enter Mr. Kirchspiel and Mr. St. John.] Mr. Kirchspiel. Having made me get up in the middle of the night to come here, I beg you will make me au fait of what is going on. Capt. Mordaunt. Or rather going off — Mrs. Killerman. Captain Mordaunt, I have a favor to ask of you. Mr. White Bait. As if the most hard hearted could refuse a favor to you ! You look in that jockey cap, and profusion of charming broad-cloth really unique, a queen, an empress ! 'T is but a barbarous skill to adorn yourself with so much art. Heav- ens ! what a crowd — intolerable ! I shall go off! I shall faint ! Eau de Cologne, if you pity me. . Mrs. Killerman. A fan ! a fan for Mr. White Bait. He is going off. ( She fans him violently.) Mr. White Bait, (faintly.) I revive — I revive — you bad well nigh killed me — but cruel person ! you bave restored me to life and woe ! Mr. St. John. Observe — an attached couple; the days of Arcadia re- turned. Mrs. Killerman. Captain Mordaunt, I want you to drive me in your tandem. Captain Mordaunt, (tenderly.) Mrs. Killerman, my dear madam, I have too nice a regard for my reputation. Mrs. Killerman. Captain Mordaunt ! Mr. White Bait, (faintly.) Captain Mordaunt ! ! ! (Aside,) he would say for his heart, but the navy gentlemen are apt to cmbrouiller their terms — Capt. Mordaunt. Not at all — not cr^ all. By no means — but the widows, really they are too much for me. It is a strange thing Kirchspiel, but I have seen two generations in love with me — first the mothers, and then the daughters — the grand- children will be looking after me next. [Enter Miss Fanny Capulet. Great stir in the crowd. She is attended by various gentlemen from Philadelphia and elsewhere.] Capt. Mordaunt. Upon my word now she is a very superior looking lady. She treads the boards just like an officer upon the quarter deck. I must see and get up alongside of her. Mrs. Harrowby Grey. Superior ! I would not cross the room to look at her in all her characters put together ! She has neither beauty, nor fashion, nor savoir vivre, nor grace, nor good breeding, nor — Mr. Siddle. For heavens sake, let us pass on to Mrs. Neverton's table. This is intolerable ! Miss Fanny Capulet, {starting.) What's that ? Where did it come from ? This oppressive crowd ! (Twenty-five gentlemen offer her their arm. She seizes the arm of Mr. Hutchinson and disappears.) Mrs. Harrowby Grey. Good Heavens! Where is Mr. Houqua — twenty-five dol- lars ! worth a hundred — eighty dollars — an exquisite pin- cushion — a gem come from Otaheite — (speaks rapidly to a hundred persons at once) splendid embroidery — lovely for summer. Captain Mordaunt, did you ever see anything more exquisite than the workmanship of this cap ? The most love- ly, beautiful, delightful, charming, superb, enchanting, divine thing that ever was seen. I put it on my head for one moment, and I thought all the men would go mad ! a mere trifle — fif- ty dollars. Captain Mordaunt. Mrs. Harrowby, you must excuse me — but really the va- riety of charming articles, and beautiful ladies is too much for me. Mrs. Harrowby Grey. Captain Mordaunt ! fifteen years ago, you would not have refused a request of mine. Captain Mordaunt. Well, really now ; you are too hard upon me — Here's Major Macflash in his uniform ; he '11 buy your whole table. Mrs. Harrowby Grey. Sweet fellow ! how exquisite he looks ! Major Macflash. Mrs. Harrowby, I have hurried up to your table, afraid that everything would be gone. Impossible to choose, where eve- rything is so beautiful — but I must have all the waistcoats — at least all that were embroidered by you. Captain Mordaunt. Miss Mary Lowell. Delighted to see her looking in such beauty. I declare I don't know a more fascinating lady. Miss 8 Lowe]], have you seen my tandem, and what do you think of Poppet ? I 'm most anxious for the benefit of your taste. I must tell you an anecdote of Poppet. I was driving down over Cambridge bridge, and holding the reins a little slackly, when a hay cart was coming up Poppet pricked up his ears, and — (Rush in the crowd). [Enter Mr. Houqua. Line formed to let him pass. He ad- vances slowly and stops opposite to Mrs. Neverton's table. He takes up a small painting.] Mrs. Neverton. Fifty Dollars, Mr. Houqua. [Mr. Houqua bows and takes out his purse, lays it on the ta- ble and moves on.] Mrs. Neverton, (opening the purse.) A thousand dollar note ! Many Voices. A thousand dollar note ! Mr. Kirchspiel. Houqua forever ! Mr. Sago. Well, ladies, and gentlemen, I think I may say, that upon the whole, this was really a very prudent, that is generous, that is handsome, piece of attention on the part of Mr. Houqua. I suppose however that his fortune is pretty, I may say, very considerable. There are very few private persons in our country who have a larger, I may almost say, so large a fortune as Mr. Houqua. Mr. Kirchspiel, I suppose Mr. Houqua's fortune cannot be less than — Mrs. Sago. A thousand dollars ! you don't say so — perfectly proper of Mr. Houqua. Captain Mordaunt. Well now Miss Lowell, that was very pretty of Houqua, really. Wronghead, what are you after ? Mr. Wronghead. A chain locket, with a lady's hair in it — that I expect to find on Mrs. Harrowby's table ? Mrs. Harrowby Grey. Here it is. Invaluable ! You may guess whose hair it con- tains. I will not give it for a cent less than sixty dollars. Captain Mordaunt. Buy it, Wronghead — buy it, or somebody else will. — That 's right. It 's yours. — Happy man ! Well, there really is a beautiful lace cloak, or pelisse. Mrs. Harrowbt Grey. You may well say beautiful — not such another piece of embroidery in the Union. I am going to sell it cheap, be- cause I hate extortion. Only one hundred and fifty dollars. It would be a wedding dress fit for a princess. 2 10 Captain Mordaunt. Buy it, Wronghead — I would n't let it slip for the world. Mr. Wronghead. What should I do with it ? Captain Mordaunt. Do with it ? Look beside you. — If you don't, I will. Mr. Wronghead. I shall take it. Mr. Sago. Captain Mordaunt, I hope your tandem is in pretty good order. I think a tandem, though some people don't like it, is a remarkably neat, that is, safe, conveyance for those who understand the way to Yes, Sir. — Ladies, how do you like Boston ? There are few cities in the United States more refined, literary, and I may say gayer, than Boston. The common is quite an ornament to our city. There are few cities in the United States, or even in Europe, that have such a common as Boston. Mr. Capulet, your most obe- dient. How do you like our Boston theatre ? I think the people of Boston have a more decided taste for theatricals than in any part of the Union. Yes, sir, — Mr. Neverton, I hope I see you well. I trust that the amendment of the Third Article of the Bill of Rights comes on pretty well. I thought your remark upon the great Lord Chancellor Bacon, very strong. 11 Mrs. Peter Spark. What a cretur you are, Mr. Sago ! asking for bacon. I am astonished at you. If husband were to do so, I would tear him in pieces with my own hands. Mr. P. Spark. There would be two to that. Mrs. P. Spark. Husband ! ! ! [Enter Mr. A. Harrison and Mr. G. Harrison.] Mr. A. Harrison, ( biting his stick.) Absurd idea ! attempting a thing of this kind in Boston. Liberian climate. Mr. P. Spark. Only hear that cretur ! When it is stiflingly warm ! Mr. A. Harrison. In Paris par example this might have been worth seeing. There would have been some taste in the selection and dis- play of the articles — but really here it is too absurd. Mr. G. Harrison. Too ridiculous. Mr. P. Spark. The rooms are crowded with belles. 12 Mr. G. Harrison. Beauty enough — but what tournures. Mr. P. Sparks. What does he mean by turners ? Mrs. P. Spark. Husband ! ! ! I am ashamed of you. Conduct yourself bet- ter, or leave the room. You are a naughty cretur. Mr. White Bait. Mrs. Killerman, I beseech your acceptance of this couverture> come direct from China. A present from Mr. Houqua to Mrs. Neverton. W T hy so pensive, Mrs. Killerman? Mr. Saco. How much did that cost, Mr. White Bait ? Mr. White Bait. Five hundred dollars. Mr. Sago. Well I may say, that is a great deal of money for a bed cov- er — yes sir. [Reappear Miss Fanny Capulet.] Miss F. Capulet. Be so good as to enquire the price of that Indian scarf? Quick ! abridge my sufferings — I cannot long endure this 13 — ( she draws out her purse and lets the money fall. The assembled crowd fall upon their knees to pick it up. ) Mrs. Harrowby Grey. If everybody paid a dollar for staring at me, the fifty thou- sand dollars would have been made up in an hour. Never do I rise off my chair but five and twenty thousand quizzing glasses are levelled at me. — I should like to know what is in the mysterious box at Mrs. Neverton's table. A mere imita- tion of my sealed parcels — but I can do nothing but what all Boston imitates it. Mr. Sago. Mr. Kirchspiel has just given a hundred dollars for the mys- terious box. I think I may say, that Mr. Kirchspiel is a very singular person — yes sir. [Evening. Great crowd. Mr. White Bait, Mrs. Killerman^ and many others collected near the door.] Mr. White Bait. What an unladylike crowd ! let us retire from the canaille. Mrs. Killerman. You may go home, Mr. Bait, if you are afraid. Mr. White Bait. Oh ! Mrs. Killerman ! [The Company enter. Band playing. Lamps lighted.] 14 Mrs. Harrowby Grey. Every thing sold — what a day. I am nearly stifled with the men coming up to look at me — the mysterious parcels flew like wild fire — all the men rushed at them — the money is actually incalculable. [Noise at the upper end of the room. Mr. White Bait faints, and is carried out. Mrs. Killerman calls for wine.'] [to B£ continued.] LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 015 871 307 A m ■ - ^K I