tiM* m I m "^mmmm.mmm^^-if^. ^^n ClassTSlim Ronk KsT3 Copyright iN?. ^ i3 COPYRIGHT DEPOSm THE MODERN DRAMA SERIES EDITED BY EDWIN BJORKMAN PAPA • BY ZOE AKINS PAPA AN AMORALITY IN THREE ACTS BY ZOE AKINS NEW YORK MITCHELL KENNERLEY MCMXIII COPYRIGHT, 1913, MITCHELL KENNERLEY r^ CX^ ©CI.A361067 CONTENTS PAGE Introduction PAPA vii Papa's Jewels 1 Mr. Roderick's Magnanimity 35 Papa's Future 67 INTRODUCTION ZOE AKINS was born in 1886 at Humansville, a small town in the Ozark Mountain region of Missouri, but her home has been at St. Louis since she was eleven. On her mother's side she is a descendant from that Earl of Pembroke who is best known to his- tory as Shakespeare's friend. Her maternal grand- uncle was Duff Green, a Southern newspaper editor, whose appointment as Public Printer in 1829 was the first manifestation of President Jackson's new theory of office-holding — " to the victors belong the spoils." Numerous members of her mother's family have been engaged in literary pursuits of one kind or another. Her father has for many years been prominent in the affairs of the Republican party and is now Postmaster of St. Louis. She had two years of schooling at the Monticello Seminary, of Godfrey, 111., and two more at Hosmer Hall in St. Louis. But her hopes of entering either Radcliffe or the University of Chicago were foiled by serious illness. At seventeen, while her parents were away, she joined for a time the Odeon Stock Company, then playing in St. Louis. The one immediate satisfaction she got out of this step lay in the excitement it created among her friends. But in the end she carried off valuable lessons in stagecraft and a wholesome conviction that she viii INTRODUCTION would never care to become an actress. While still a mere child, she had been writing verse and trying her hands at plays, one of which was performed by her schoolmates at Hosmer Hall. After her experience on the stage, she began to write critical articles for the St. Louis Mirror and " specials " for the daily news- papers — mostly as a " means toward adventure." She was anxious to meet visiting celebrities, and her wish was frequently fulfilled. Thus, for instance, she became acquainted with Julia Marlowe, whose friend- ship and advice have exercised considerable influence on her subsequent progress as a writer. It was Miss Marlowe who made her study the great European dramatists and who taught her " to demand a larger thing of a play than the play itself." At seventeen she completed her first real stage play, " The End of the Strike." It dealt with a situation almost identical with the one lately existing in West Virginia, and she says of it that " it was no more ab- surd than the average play produced on Broadway." At nineteen she wrote a verse drama, " Iseult, the Fair," which was " almost produced and almost published." During the same year she wrote also a number of poems which won her increasing recognition. Since then she has produced the following dramatic works which have not yet been printed or performed: " The Voice," 1907, a one-act play, with the action laid in a Turkish harem and the principal character appearing only as a voice; "The Wandering Shepherd," 1907, a masque; "The Sin," 1909, a modern drama in four acts with heredity as its main theme; " The Meddler," 1909, a play about anarchism ; " The Learned Lady," 1910, a comedy ; " Clemence," 1911, a psychological study in one act. INTRODUCTION ix Her first volume of verse was published in 1912 and met with a great deal of approval on both sides of the Atlantic. Though all the poems in it possess undeni- able charm, the volume would, to me, seem pretty much like any other collection of minor poetry but for cer- tain significant passages in such poems as " Mary Magdalen," "One Woman" and "The Sisterhood." In these passages there is displayed an independence of attitude and expression that strongly suggests their author as one of the voices of the new womanhood. " Papa," the play hereby given to the public, is a little masterpiece that places its creator with such typical representatives of the genre as Arthur Schnitz- ler, the Dane Gustav Wied and the author of " The Dolly Dialogues." Like the work of these men, that of Miss Akins seems on the surface to be " for amuse- ment only," while to the penetrating mind it yields a social satire which, in spite of its good temper and its exquisite playfulness, buries its biting lash beneath the callous cuticle of our modem " dronedom." Edwin Bjorkman. THE FIRST ACT PAPA'S JEWELS PERSONS Papa Chloe Doris Mr. Roderick Dick PAPA THE FIRST ACT It is mid-morning of a day in June. In an upstairs sun-parlor-balcony of a house in New York, Doris and Chloe, very pretty girls, in charming white morn- ing frocks, are lying on two couches, reading the morning papers and sipping chocolate from the table between them, on which is a large tray laden with breakfast things. A third chair, empty, is also drawn up to the table; it is a big armchair covered with cretonne and, like all the furniture in the balcony, wrought out of ivory wicker. Now and then Chloe and Doris read aloud certain thrilling items to each other; yet their light, sweet voices are unexcited. One might say that there was the note of resignation in them. CHLOE The Witchmeres sailed yesterday. DORIS Francis Stillwell is with the Countess of Lawton in Scotland — a house party. CHLOE Her grace is coming to Newport ! . . . Heavens ! Can't you just see Mrs. Joe when " my daughter the Duchess " arrives? This is the first time Lydia has been home. 4 PAPA [act I DORIS She 's asked you to England twice, Chloe. Why did n't you take her up ? CHLOE She did n't really want me. DORIS What difference does that make? But, of course, you go in for sincerity. CHLOE Would n't it be heavenly if we could go somewhere ? DORIS Then why, under heaven, don't you marry Dick? CHLOE You know the reason well. I love Dick too much. . . . But you pretend that you are so heartless. Why don't you marry Mr. Roderick? DORIS I don't even like him well enough. ... Of course I 'm not soft like you — and looking for grand passions — and getting unreasonable and touch}^ when I think I 've got one. I 'd be content with any nice man if I really liked him. But see here, Chloe, you 're three years older, and it 's up to you to marry first. I will not go to live in a house with any human being whom I don't really like. (Pauses^ and then continues) I 'd be utterly miserable if I could n't like my husband as well — as — as — my butler, for instance. CHLOE There 's nothing against Mr. Roderick. DORIS No — no. But he is n't very convincing, and he has n't any magnetism. Is he so good? So kind — ACT i] PAPA 5 really? Or does he only follow the line of least resistance? He looks as weak as a Bronx cocktail — and any sort of weakness gets on my nerves. He '11 have to come across with something more noble than supporting Grand Opera and a Home for Fallen Ladies before I '11 take him. CHLOE Papa likes him so well — poor Papa ! DORIS It is very unkind of you to reproach me with Papa, Chloe. [Papa enters — a dainty gallant, fragile and ex- quisite at the age of sixty-five. He is no less exquisitely dressed. His manners rival in grace and correctness those of a dancing master, PAPA Good morning, daughters. l^Both rise and flutter to him. It is plain that they idolize him, and that he is devoted to them. DORIS AND CHLOE {together) Good morning, darling ! Good morning, dearest ! [They kiss him and he hisses them. They bring him to the empty chair at the table. DORIS Here is chocolate, dear. CHLOE You 'd rather have tea, darling, I know. DORIS Put the toast in the toaster, Chloe. Is the marma- lade there? CHLOE Here 's your orange juice, first, dear. 6 PAPA [act I DORIS Chocolate is more nourishing than tea, dear. CHLOE But you do want tea, don't you, dear? PAPA Yes, darling, tea. . . . I 'm too old to change. . . • I 'm too old now for — \_Both stop him with little cries. CHLOE Old ! You 're fishing, dear ! You don't look forty ! DORIS Not thirty-five ! A man is only as old as he feels — and you feel as young as we do. CHLOE See how fresh and well you look this morning, dear. ^She hands him a delicate little mirror which she wears on a chain about her neck. PAPA (examining himself) Ah, I '11 never get used to these gray hairs, my dears. DORIS And we caused them, mostly. You 're quite a young man, dear. You must have them touched up again. CHLOE I got some rouge for you yesterday, darling. It stays on — and simply can't be told. PAPA (the languor goes out of his voice; he is inter- ested) Liquid or dry.? CHLOE Liquid ; it is called " Pomegranate Glow." It 's wonderful. PAPA Have Marston bring it to my room before I dress for the afternoon. ACT i] PAPA 7 CHLOE Here 's the tea, dear — with four lumps and oceans of cream. DORIS And the toast and the marmalade — on this nice little plate. CHLOE Did you sleep well, dear? PAPA Thank you, darling, no. ... I never sleep any more. CHLOE AND DORIS {together) Oh, poor papa! [The telephone rings. Chloe takes it from the lower part of the table and answers, CHLOE Hello! This is his residence. He is just awake and having his breakfast. Can I take the message.'' Wait a minute. (To Papa) It 's Mr. Deering. PAPA Give it to me. I '11 talk to him, darling. (^She hands the telephone to him; his manner changes to hauteur) Yes, Deering. Put them off. To-day? I '11 make some arrangements. I 'm at breakfast now. Call me in an hour. {Puts the telephone down; stares blankly ahead in silence) CHLOE What is it? Any worries? PAPA Deering is a nuisance. He 's — he 's not diplomatic. Somebody wants to be paid for something — and I 've got to get fifty thousand dollars together at once. He says it can't be put off any longer. I 8 PAPA [act I might be indicted — or something. . . . Why, this is humiliating! Humiliating! DORIS (with an inspiration) Why don't you use — CHLOE Our money? PAPA I 've used Chloe's. I can't touch Doris' until she 's twenty-one. It is in trust until then. DOEIS How disagreeable! How unkind of grandfather to fix mama's money like that. Never mind — you shall have it in a year, darling. PAPA I won't live a year if this keeps up. (Wipes his eyes) I 'm being persecuted. I can't stand un- pleasantness. DORIS AND CHLOE (impressively to each other, as with one thought) we must get married ! [Having spoken at the same time both hold up little fingers and formally join them in the rites of wishing. DORIS Shakespeare. CHLOE Milton. DORIS Pins. CHLOE Needles. \_The rites have been performed. Their hands fall apart, DORIS Now! ACT i] PAPA 9 CHLOE If my wish comes true — PAPA (hopefully) Oh, my darling daughters ! I 'm a great trouble to you! CHLOE Nonsense — DORIS You 're the dearest, wisest — CHLOE Best, sweetest — DORIS Noblest — CHLOE Most wonderful — DORIS Man in the whole world. CHLOE You really are. Papa! And it is our duty to get married right off. That would help the debts, would n't it ? PAPA With either Mr. Roderick or Dick as a son-in-law, I could manage very well. With a little tact I could borrow anything from anybody then. DORIS {energetically) We '11 have to draw straws, Chloe, to see which one marries. PAPA My noble girls ! [Chloe suddenly begins to weep. 10 PAPA [act I PAPA {to Chloe) Dear, darling, child ! I know what is in your mind — but for my sake you must not think of it. CHIiOE My poor baby! DORIS You must have been a ninny — a sentimental ninny — and I think your baby is a good deal better off without you. PAPA The child receives the best of attention, and the gov- erness speaks excellent French — I have seen to that. But my lovely Chloe is too good, too saintly, too tender-hearted. She loves her child. CHLOE It is n't that. I love Dick — and I must deceive him if I marry him, and that means that I shall never get my baby back again. I 'm wronging the man I love — and my own, child ! Oh, why was I ever born? Oh, why did I go with that hateful man to supper — alone? PAPA There — there — my darling ! It was only your lovely innocence that led you astray. It was only an indiscretion. CHI.OE But I ought not to have gone to his rooms unchaper- oned. I knew it was n't exactly — conventional, DORIS That 's what I say — why did you do it? CHLOE He was so fascinating! ACT l] PAPA 11 PAPA And a very great tenor! CHLOE And I thought I loved him ! DORIS Well, after you saw what was going to happen, why didn't you marry him. It is always done, is n't it? PAPA My daughter marry an opera-singer ! I should not have allowed it. CHLOE Yes — I couldn't marry him, could I? Besides he had an obscure wife somewhere in Italy. DORIS Well, I 'm sorry for you. But since it was n't my fault, you 've got to be a sport and draw straws with me — or we '11 toss a coin. Got one, dear? PAPA (^searching) Ah — er — yes ! It 's only a penny, darling — DORIS Don't apologize. It '11 do quite well. CHLOE {with her head resting on her hands, staring into space) My little Dolores will be four years old next Thursday ! DORIS Come — come — don't moon. Heads, me ; tails, you. {To Papa) Flip it, dear. Once. PAPA {enjoying this part of it and rising for the cere- mony) I hope that my .darling daughters know how to either win or lose with perfect grace. Ready? [He flips the coin. All watch it. Doris draws a long breath of relief. Chloe and Papa fall into each other'' s arms. 12 PAPA [act I PAPA My saintly Chloe! DORIS I 'm sorry, Chloe — but come, buck up ! We '11 put it over, some way or other. CHLOE He must never know! Dick is so spoiled, and so conventional about all the little things. He 'd never forgive me. He — he hates music anyway ! PAPA He won't know, my darling. Nobody knows. They think — down there — that it is your little half- sister. (^Papa blushes as he speaks) CHLOE That 's just like you! To sacrifice your reputation for me! ... I can do no less than sacrifice every- thing for you. [A hell is heard. DORIS Mr. Roderick ! I forgot ! He said he 'd be here at eleven. You 're a sight, Chloe ! Run on up and weep it all out now before you see Dick. You 'd better send him around a note. CHLOE No, I '11 telephone. DORIS Say Papa objects, and you must elope. Papa needs the money to-day — remember. CHLOE (desperately) What do I care what else I say to him? DORIS Go on ; don't feel such a martyr. You '11 have all ACT i] PAPA 13 that money — and some more babies if you really want them — and then you can start things and put it over Mrs. Joe and all the rest of them. It won't be bad. CHLOE I am going to do what is best for Papa's sake alone, PAPA My love ! Be brave ! [They embrace. Chloe goes out tearfully. Papa and Doris stand touched and genumely moved — looking at each other for a long second in silence, Chloe suddenly reappears, a more cheerful note in her voice, CHLOE Doris, would you wear that new green frock and the gray motor coat? Or that white serge with ray little blue hat — and a dark blue coat ? It would be rather smart for an elopement, don't you think? [The family spirits rise. DORIS Oh, the white and blue ! You can stand those simple, severe things. CHLOE Dick likes it, too. PAPA My daughter must have a bouquet! Just a casual little bouquet of pure white lilies. I '11 go for them myself! Ah, if we could only have a real wedding! I love weddings ! CHLOE Thanks, darling, but Dick will be here the minute 14 PAPA [act I after I call him, so we must hurry. (^She runs out, quite pleased with herself) DORIS (embracing Papa joyously) Oh Papa ! Papa darling ! I don't have to marry old Mr. Roderick, do I? Oh, I'm so happy, dear! I don't want to marry anyone yet! [Mr. Roderick appears in the doorway. He wears a golden Van Dyke heard and an air of great patience. He is dressed with wonderful precision and is accom- panied by a spic-and-span white English Bull. Mr. Roderick is quite as fine a gentleman in his way as the English Bull in his. There is, in fact, a delicate resemblance between them, MR. RODERICK May I come in? DORIS Oh, good morning, Mr. Roderick. (She pays great attention to the dog while Papa and Mr. Roderick address one another) Shake hands, Tommy. \_The dog gives her a paw, PAPA Good morning, good morning. Come right in. MR. RODERICK Your man put me in the library and went to find Miss Doris. But I thought I heard voices and came to hunt her myself. PAPA Quite right. The girls and I have our breakfast out here these hot mornings. But if you '11 excuse me, I must leave you for a few minutes — I 've an errand at the florist's. I want flowers sent to the funeral of a poor, dear, old lady I used to know, and I wish to select them myself. ACT i] PAPA 15 MR. RODERICK Quite thoughtful of you. My car is at the door. Let my man take you. PAPA Thank you. I will. {He notices the dog and pats him on the head) Ah, Tommy ! He 's a very hand- some animal, Mr. Roderick. MR. RODERICK {beaming with pleasure) Say " Thank you," Tommy. Shake hands. [The dog is put through his paces and gives his paw to Papa, who then turns to Mr. Roderick. PAPA We 'd like to keep you for luncheon, Mr. Roderick. We might have some bridge. MR. RODERICK Thank you. Perhaps. PAPA {hisses Doris^ hand) Au revoir, my darling. DORIS Au revoir, dear. \^Papa leaves the room with rare grace. MR. RODERICK What wonderful charm your father has ! It is a pleasure to see him with his daughters. DORIS He is the noblest man in the world! MR. RODERICK And you are a noble daughter. . . . Come, are you going to keep me waiting. . . , You were to tell me something to-day. DORIS Just — what ? 16 PAPA [act I MR. RODERICK Have jou — forgotten? DORIS Oh — MR. RODERICK Do you — will you — can't you ? DORIS Dear Mr. Roderick, I wish I could. But I don't know you well enough. You don't know me well enough. I 'm afraid I must tell you — no. MR. RODERICK Give me some hope. In time, perhaps . . . and I know your dear transparent nature perfectly — perfectly. DORIS Not now — or any time. I 'm afraid I must n't let you get a false impression. No, it can never be. MR. RODERICK Why not? Give me a reason. DORIS (with a gleam of amusement in her eyes as she turns slightly from him) I am too kind to give you the real reason. MR. RODERICK (interested) I will take it without flinching — and be grateful ! DORIS (toying with the situation) No matter how I might hurt you — or disappoint you? MR. RODERICK No matter. Give me a single reason for your refusal, and if it is valid — or if it explains my failure — I shall persist no further in forcing my love upon you. But I shall remain until the end — at your service — ready at all times to make any sacrifice for your ACT i] PAPA 17 pleasure or comfort, to be a loyal friend to you and your dear ones, to feel a request from you an in- comparable honor! DORIS {her eyes growing big with pleasure) How simply beautiful of you! MR. RODERICK Then do not hesitate. Tell me your real reason, \_Doris looks away lost and confused, as if searching for a reason worthy of his attitude. Suddenly an inspiration comes into her eyes. She is overjoyed and begins to act her part with zest, DORIS You may loathe and despise me, but at least I shall do as you ask. What I am about to tell you will put your promise to a severe test. [Mr. Roderick plays up to her. He rises, facing her, and they do their scene in a fine heroic style, MR. RODERICK Go on. DORIS I am not exactly what I seem to you — a young girl — innocent and lovely — {She falters') MR. RODERICK Go on. DORIS I have had my irresponsible and mad moments — moments that break and destroy — though they are so brief — and so careless — {She falters again) MR. RODERICK Go on. DORIS I — I — have had no mother — since I was — a very little child. 18 PAPA [act I MR. RODERICK (gently) I know — go on. DORIS I was innocent and foolish — MR. RODERICK Go on. DORIS In fact it was my very innocence that led me astray. MR. RODERICK Go on — DORIS But you must not judge too gently. I kn^w that to go to his rooms, alone, to supper — was not exactly — conventional, MR. RODERICK " ' Go on — DORIS But I went — MR. RODERICK Go on — DORIS I can't — I — I — I thought I loved him — {She falters) MR. RODERICK (womed and hesitant) Well, why did n't you — if he got you compromised — or talked about — why — why did n't he marry you.? DORIS He — he had an obscure wife in Spain — no, in Italy. MR. RODERICK Am I to understand.'' Great God! Who was this man? ACT i] PAPA 19 DORIS A very great tenor. All the girls were wild about him. Besides, Papa would not have permitted me to marry an opera singer. We have been so carefully brought up. MR. RODERICK But — Great God! And he — he? Goon. DORIS (^dropping her face mto her hands, and staring into space) My little Dolores will be four years old next Thursday. MR. RODERICK ( tramps up and down) So? Can this thing he? A child! Dolores! Four! How old are you? {^He stops facing her) DORIS Twenty. MR. RODERICK {heroically) Great God ! This is infamous ! Your father — knew ? DORIS Oh yes ! He was so splendid ! They think it his — the people who have it. He means to keep me with him, always — I 've suffered so much. But I could n't deceive you — I shall never marry. MR. RODERICK But my dear, darling, wounded girl ! I 've only pity for you! Can't you understand that? I love you as much — no, more than ever ! Come, rest your head on my shoulder. Of course I '11 marry you ! Noble Doris ! [Doris comes to the earth at this — gasps for breath — falls head over heels in love on the instant — and into his arms with a queer uncertain little sound. 20 PAPA [act I DORIS Oh— Urn! l^She cannot manage to say a word. He embraces her and talks as if to a child, with indignant tender- ness. She is entirely subdued, MR. RODERICK And you shall have your little Dolores back. Of course, you want her. We shall adopt her legally. It can be done quite simply. {^Doris fidgets, MR. RODERICK You shall never be annoyed or mistreated or humili- ated or hurt again. You shall have beautiful houses to live in — wherever you want them — and beauti- ful j ewels — and gowns — and your dear father shall come to live with us — and your sister too — my darling angel ! . . . Could n't you marry me to-day, right now.? \_Dick appears at the door. He is handsome, young, healthy — in motor things of superlative fastidious- ness. DICK Hello! Where's Chloe? [Mr. Roderick and Doris fall apart. MR. RODERICK Ah, come right in, Dick — \_There is a secret in the air. Dick senses it. DICK I say, what 's going on.^^ MR. RODERICK We '11 take you into our confidence. Doris has promised to marry me, and we 're going — going — ACT i] PAPA 21 across the river. It is hard on her dear father — but he 'd never let me have her if I did n't steal her — and all 's fair in love, you know. We '11 make it up to him afterwards. DICK I say — this is bully ! This is fine ! DORIS What.? Why.? DICK Why, Chloe has said " yes," at last. . . . We 're eloping ! {^Dick and Mr. Roderick seize each other'' s hands and shake in congratulation and joy. MR. RODERICK Fine! It's a foursome. . . . But — (Vaguely) Are n't there licenses — and rings — and things .? Doris' father has my machine. DICK I 've a touring car at the door. I 'm onto all the ropes. It will take Doris fifteen minutes to put on a hat, I suppose, so we might run down the avenue for a couple of rings. MR. RODERICK {embracing Doris) We won't be gone a minute, darling. Be ready when we come back, will you? DORIS (a propos of nothing) Poor Papa! \_All are silent. MR. RODERICK I do feel as if we were treating him rather shabbily. {He pauses) 22 PAPA [act I DICK I 've got it. Write a note saying we 're all getting married and leaving for Europe this evening. Ask him to forgive us and come along. MR. RODERICK Of course ! The very thing ! DORIS (to Mr. Roderick) You want him.f^ MR. RODERICK Of course. DORIS (she begins to get her hearings again) Oh, you 're the noblest man in the world — except Papa ! [Mr. Roderick embraces her, DICK Now we 're running along. Write that note — and have Chloe ready when we get back. DORIS Yes, yes, yes. \^She sits at a little desk at one side of the room; Mr. Roderick kisses her good-bye, and dilly-dally s over her chair. DORIS (to Mr. Roderick) You won't ever be sorry .f' I may be much worse than you think me. MR. RODERICK (in a low, intimate voice) Nonsense. Your soul is perfectly clear to me. I love you all the more for having suffered. I under- stand perfectly. [Doris fidgets. DICK Come on, come on! ACT i] PAPA 23 DORIS {sending Mr, Roderick away) Go — [il/r. Roderick and Dick start to leave; Doris writes; all three murmur at the same time, DORIS (writing) Dear darling angel Papa — DICK The best place in . . . shortest way — MR. RODERICK . . . Extra tires . . . such lovely girls . . . Tom- my, Tommy. . . . [They go out, followed hy the English Bull. Doris writes for a moment. Chloe enters looking very fetching. She carries her dark coat, CHLOE I saw Dick leave with Mr. Roderick — why.'' [Doris writes on, folds up her note and kisses it violently before she answers. CHLOE (repeats her question) Why, Doris.'' DORIS There! {Bounces up) Oh Chloe! I'm in love — really in love — with Mr. Roderick ! He is n't weak — and he is good and he has magnetism — and I not only like him ! I love him ! CHLOE But Dick.? DORIS They 've gone for the rings — [Papa enters with two bouquets, one of yellow roses, and one of pink roses. 24 PAPA [act I PAPA Dick hasn't come, has he? I'm in time! {He kisses each dmighter and presents the bouquets elegantly) I could n't bring white flowers — they remind me of funerals. But here are yellow roses for the bride — for I 'm jealous already; and pink roses for my Doris — who is rosier than any rose. DORIS AND CHLOE (^charmed) Oh, thank you, Papa, dear! [Both kiss him. DORIS But here 's news for you — news ! ( Waves the letter she has just written) You must n't read it yet. It 's a secret. Promise not to read it until you ought. PAPA I promise — on my honor ! DORIS Then I shall tell you what is in it. I 'm in love with Mr. Roderick. He 's really a very fine, noble man, dear — next to you. CHLOE For heaven's sake get to the point, Doris ! DORIS Well, it all came about so beautifully that I 've promised to marry him. He 's gone for a ring, and we 're eloping! I could n't say a word. . . . You 've no idea how real love puts you in your place. CHLOE You ! But / *m eloping. Dick said he 'd be right over. DORIS We 're all eloping. Mr. Roderick told Dick, and ACT i] PAPA 25 they shook hands and went for two rings while I was writing this note to jou, Papa, and getting a hat on. They think they 're treating you badly, the silly dears. And this is to ask you to forgive us all and to sail with us for Europe to-night. Does that fix your debts, dear? PAPA Perfectly ! My darlings ! My treasures ! You have saved my life and my honor ! DORIS And oh. Papa; you must be very angry, and pre- tend to be quite put out! PAPA I could n't embarrass my daughters ! I shall not relent until Chloe has wept. I hope we go to Paris first! Let us linger in Paris, my treasures. I love Paris. The shops! The ladies! DORIS Don't be naughty. Papa. CHLOE (who has been thmking) Then there 's no longer any driving need of my marrying Dick. DORIS Now don't get that into your head ! You know per- fectly well, Chloe, that you lost when we flipped a coin. My marriage is only a happy incident. CHLOE But I 'd be happier if Dick knew. I 'd be happier even if I lost him, and he might forgive me — and let me have my little Dolores back some time. DORIS For heaven's sake ! Don't do that, Chloe ! You must n't ! You really must n't ! 26 PAPA [act I CHLOE Why not? I can afford to risk it, now that Papa will be saved anyway. You don't know what it is to deceive the man you love. You have nothing to hide. DORIS Oh ! Oh ! But I do. I 'm deceiving Mr. Roderick too — but I 'm putting it over. PAPA Men are only too happy to be deceived by lovely ladies. It is an honor and a privilege. DORIS But I 'm deceiving him — awfully. . . . He asked for a reason ... I was too nice to say that I did n't seem able to enthuse about him ... I wanted a good reason ... so I said it was Dolores . . . and he forgave me so nobly that I loved him at once! CHIiOE How perfectly unscrupulous of you! That is sheer plagiarism, Doris ! You 've plagiarized my romance . . . and my child! DORIS But I don't care about your romance! Thank heavens, I don't have to have that crazy Italian tenor on my conscience, and it 's humiliating enough to have Mr. Roderick ever think I was such a fool. But he 'd never forgive me now, if he found out that I was n't, and had n't suffered, and all that — and you 're distinctly selfish to make a fuss about it. CHLOE But my little Dolores! DORIS I don't want your little Dolores. ... I just put her in accidentally, and now Mr. Roderick insists upon ACT i] PAPA 27 adopting her — so you 've got to be a sport and lend her to me. PAPA (to CMoe, who bursts into tears) Dolores will be all in the family, dearest. Now don't cry ! You 're too tender-hearted. But you can have her visit you every day. Indeed, Fate has arranged things very wisely, my darling. I daresay that / you '11 see more of your child than most of our friends see of theirs. DORIS And anyway, Dick absolutely would not stand for her — or for you, either — if you told. Then Mr. Roderick will be simply an ideal father — much better than Dick. PAPA Doris is right. For my sake let us all be happy. The whole matter seems to be most satisfactorily arranged. CHLOE For your sake, darling papa. PAPA Now I shall be able to really enjoy my grandchild. After all, Dolores is my grandchild, either way. \_All smile brightly. CHLOE AND DORIS («5 if realizing this for the first time) Why, of course ! That 's true ! DORIS Though it seems quite wicked to think of you as a grandfather, dear. PAPA {he closes the argument and turns to a safer sub- ject of conversation) Thank you, darling. And they '11 be here soon, did you say, dear.'' 28 PAPA [act I DORIS Yes, any time. I must get ready this instant. Oh, Papa, he is so noble, and I 'm deceiving him so basely — I 'm not worthy ! \^She falls into Papa's arms, Chloe does the same, CHLOE Nor I ! I 'm deceiving him. [Papa holds them both tenderly, a head on each of his shoulders. Both weep — Doris almost angrily, as if she did n't know how; Chloe more copiously and gracefully. Papa's voice is quite weepy too. PAPA There — there — don't cry ! A sense of honor often makes life very difficult, my angel. [A hell rings, Doms {pulling herself together and rising energetically to the occasion) There they are! Give me tlJe letter. Marston will be told to give it to you. . . . Oh , , , he is wonderful, Papa, and I — I never thought / could feel — like this ! It is very con- fusing. There 's a terrible pain right here ; yet I 'm glad. [There is a new sincerity and softness in her voice as she lays her hand on her heart. Chloe and Papa look at her in silence. She goes out loftily. Papa and Chloe are impressed as if hy something they cannot fathom. There is a silent pause. Doris ap- pears again in the doorway in a much more usual frame of mind. DORIS What would you wear, Chloe? Don't you think my white wool coat and my big white hat will be rather good? I won't have time to change anyway. I '11 ACT i] PAPA 29 wear a blue veil, and Papa's dear pink roses. Quite French, don't you think? CHLOE Yes, you can do those fluffy things. Doms {waving her hand) I '11 be down in a second. [She goes out. Papa and Chloe are sensible of a more comfortable atmosphere. Papa speaks cheer- fully, PAPA Could you get me Mr. Ingraham on the telephone, dear? I must arrange for my loan at once. CHLOE Certainly, dear. It's Broad 883, isn't it? [She sits down at the table and lifts up the telephone receiver, Dick appears in the doorway, DICK May I come in? Hello, Chloe! {To Papa) Good morning, how are you? PAPA Good morning, Dick; good morning. {To Chloe) Don't bother about my number, dearest, I '11 call from the library. May we keep you for luncheon, Dick? DICK We 're just off for a ride — if Chloe has n't changed her mind. PAPA Perhaps we may expect you back? Luncheon is at two. You 're very welcome. DICK Perhaps. . . . 30 PAPA [act I PAPA You '11 pardon me just a minute? {He goes out) DICK Your father 's a charming fellow, Chloe. CHLOE He 's the noblest man in the world — and you 're — DICK I 'm what? CHLOE Next. DICK (half reproachfullz/) So you 've decided that at last? CHLOE I 've thought it a long time. DICK (takes her in his arms) i And my Chloe is the most beautiful, the tenderest, sweetest, most spiritual, most sincere woman in the world ! [He kisses her. Mr, Roderick enters, beaming. MR. RODERICK Hello! Where's Doris? CHLOE She '11 be here in a minute, Mr. Roderick. (^Gives him her hand) MR. RODERICK So we 're all ready for our eventful ride? We must wish each other much happiness. (^He takes Chloe's hand and holds it warmly) CHLOE Oh — oh, we do, don't we? PAPA (^enters) I 'm trying to engage Dick to come back with Chloe for luncheon, Mr. Roderick. You are stopping? ACT i] PAPA 31 MR. RODERICK (lying with difficulty) The truth is — we — your other daughter and I are going with them. PAPA Don't let me disarrange your plans. I shall drop in at the club. I 'm never able to enjoy my luncheon if I 'm alone. DICK Why don't you join us — at — at — at Sherry's, say — at — at two is all right, is n't it? MR. RODERICK AND CHLOE (^simultaneously) Oh yes, do ! Do, Papa ! PAPA I am delighted. \_Doris enters, looking charming and picturesque in white, with the blue veil and pink flowers. DORIS I see I 'm keeping everyone waiting. Ready ? PAPA (m his most charming manner) I hope that the ride will be pleasant — that the sun will not be too hot — nor the roads too dusty — and that your motor will be in its most amiable mood. \_All, rather like children, get ready to go, and speak at once. MR. RODERICK AND DICK Thank you! Thanks! DORIS AND CHLOE Good-bye, dear! Good-bye, darling! MR. RODERICK Sherry's at two ! DICK Don't fail us ! [^Papa holds Chloe's coat and kisses first Chloe, then 32 PAPA [act I Doris, very delicately; then he takes a hand of each in each of his hands. PAPA {to Mr. Roderick and Dick) Sherry's at two. {He kisses his daughters^ hands in turn, homing over them) Au 'voir, my dears ! [All go out. Each of the four a little shyly, as if occupied with some weight of guilt — not, however, a wholly uncomfortable weight. Papa alone is bland and blithe and uns elf conscious, as if unaware that things of importance are happening. He stands smiling near a windozv, waving his hand as he sees them leave. Then he goes to the telephone, suddenly becoming tense and nervous. Once his conversation begins, though, he gets vnvolved in the emotions he pretends. PAPA Broad 883. — Hello ; Mr. Ingraham. . . . Yes, yes, I called a minute ago. . . . Ingraham? Yes, I just called again about that loan. Let it go, Ingraham. I won't have time to call in my securities and take the matter up to-day. . . . It is very inconvenient, but I '11 have to cable later. . . . Yes, I 'm leaving to-night; yes, quite suddenly — in a great rush. . . . Well, yes ; it is something rather serious. . . . My daughters — I 've loved them and tried to be a good father, Ingraham. . . . Thank you . . . they — they 've both eloped. . . . Eloped, without a word to me, both of them. . . . And you know my dislike of sensationalism. . . . Yes, Dick. . . . Oh yes, a good marriage, as far as money goes . . . and my little Doris, . . . yes, Mr. Roderick. . . . Well, I suppose so, but I wanted my daughters to stay with me awhile. . . . Yes, I 'm sailing with them ACT i] PAPA 33 this evening. . . . That is why I have to let my own business go. . . . They left a note. ... Of course, I shall forgive them, and then sail with them as they ask. I 'm a forgiving man, but I 'm hurt, Ingraham ; hurt. . . . Well, if you want to transfer that sum to my account without the securities. ... Of course it is only a formality, and I can send you down my note. . . . Thank you, Ingraham. . . . Yes, the Phillips Trust handle my account — or my man Deer- ing will call. . . . Make out the check to him, John E. That will be quite simple. No, that 's all for the present, but I may cable some orders. . . . Thank you very much. You 've obliged me considerably. ... I suppose most fathers mould feel that way, but I 'm deeply hurt. ... Thank you. ... I hope you continue well, and you must present my compliments to Mrs. Ingraham. . . . Good-bye, good-bye. {He puts the telephone down. His mood instantly re- laxes, and he is pleased with himself and the world. On the table is a box of cigarettes. He takes one and lights it delicately, saying to himself) Chloe's.^^ {He takes a few puffs; and makes a discovery) Ah no; Doris'. . . . {He starts to pick up the news- paper. A handkerchief falls to the floor. He lifts it and regards it tenderly) Doris'. f* {He holds it up to catch the perfume, smelling it daintily) No, Chloe's. {He lifts it to his lips and kisses it. His face beams with love) My jewels! {He slips the handkerchief into his cuff as , . , the curtain falls) CURTAIN THE SECOND ACT MR. RODERICK'S MAGNANIMITY PERSONS Doris Chloe Papa Mr. Roderick Dick ZiMZAPANZI Little Dolores The Butler The Governess THE SECOND ACT A little more than a year has elapsed. It is almost time for tea when the rise of the curtain discloses the sitting-room of Mr, Roderick's villa near Trowville, The room is charming, and the furnishings are accord- ing to the best French taste. French windows at the hack, slightly ajar, open onto a terrace overlooking the hay. Curtained doorways are on opposite sides of the room. Doris and Chloe are writing, their chairs are across from each other at the same table, and their pens drink from the same well. Chloe writes in her diary, Doris finishes a letter and addresses it, DORIS There ! CHLOE {looking up) How much enterprise it takes to get a letter off ! DORIS You 're a lazy thing, Chloe. CHLOE {sweetly) Yes, I know I am. I have n't your energy. DORIS And I would n't have yours when it comes to writing oneself down in a diary — the way you do. {She goes hehind Chloe' s chair and reads) " I am utterly happy, and my soul is as peaceful as yonder sea. A year of constant companionship has only made our love more perfect. As I write, the dawn throws 38 PAPA [act II its golden glory o'er hills and bay, and there is dawn in my heart ! " Fine ! Go on with it ! If you can touch up the dawn like that at this time of day, you '11 be turning into a lady-author yet. CHLOE (sarcastically) How polite of you! To look over my shoulder and read my secret thoughts ! DORIS It 's very bourgeois to be so well-bred, Chloe. Any- way, your secret thoughts are so nice and romantic. I '11 wager that if you talked in your sleep you 'd be as discreet as if you were talking to a reporter. CHiiOE (suddenly intense) Don't mention talking in one's sleep, Doris ! Heavens, if you could only know what horrors I 've had of that ! For a long time I drank black coffee to keep me awake. But now, even if I said anything about Dolores, Dick would just think that I had eaten something that did n't agree with me. Is n't it funny, Doris, but Dick is convinced that she belongs to Mr. Roderick. DORIS Roddy ? How ? Who ? Just what do you mean ? CHLOE Don't get peevish about it, but Dick cannot see why Mr. Roderick, when he had not been married quite a year, should send to America for a perfectly strange child to adopt. Of course, it does look queer. DORIS (angry and haughty) How ungrateful you are, Chloe! You might talk him out of that, at least. You 're lucky enough not to have him find out about you and that tenor — and because Roddy is so noble and thinks that she 's ACT ii] PAPA 39 my child, and brings her here where you can be with her every moment, he gets suspected! Will you please tell me who is supposed to be her mother? CHLOE {equally angry and haughty) I 'm sure it is n't my fault, Doris. I did n't tell Mr. Roderick she was your child. You did it yourself — and I can't help it, can I, if Dick thinks that her mother must have been one of Mr. Roderick's protegees? He was always finding them on the East Side and doing things for them — and Dolores is dark. ' DO£IS You might, at least, have picked out an American tenor, or an English — or even a German — to lose your head about! I will not have people thinking that my husband had an affair with some — some ignorant immigrant! CHLOE I 'm sure that I can't go back and do it all over again now. . . . Anyway, the greatest tenors are always Italians. [Papa enters, younger and more blithe than ever. His amiable and charming presence ends the family quarrel. Both daughters rise and greet him with a kiss, and all three move to a sofa, where they sit, affectionately grouped. Papa is dressed entirely in white. He looks beautiful and benign. PAPA Ah, daughters I DORIS AND CHLOE (speaMng together) Oh, Papa, dear! . . . Oh, Papa, darling! DORIS Did you have a good time, dear? 40 PAPA [act II CHLOE You are n't tired, are you, dear? DORIS Did jou win or lose, dear? CHLOE How much, dear? PAPA The goddess of luck smiled on me, my angels: it is almost three thousand. (He shows them the money) DORIS You 're a perfect wonder, darling ! I 'm proud of you. CHLOE You are certainly a shark, Papa. Who else was at the Casino? PAPA {suddenly puts the money away and stares into space with a look of profoumd sadness) That bounder, Witchmere. DORIS AND CHI.OE Oh, really ! ... Not really ! DORIS Did he dare to be rude to you? CHLOE What did he do? PAPA He avoided me. He only nodded. DORIS And you had n't seen each other for months ? CHLOE I simply can't understand it! DORIS Do you owe him anything, dear? ACT ii] PAPA 41 PAPA No, my darling. I 've been particularly careful never to have any business transactions with him. He never has liked me. DORIS He 's been jealous of you! CHLOE Georgia Witchmere is such a fright that she hates / everybody. She may have brains, but who cares anything about brains.'^ PAPA {repeating) Witchmere 's a bounder ! DORIS He pretends to be so fearfully high-brow. He makes himself conspicuous by being at the opera before the curtain goes up, and collects something or other that 's utterly uninteresting. But he goes on his knees to Roddy, all right. You ought to have cut / him, Papa, yourself — now that I'm married to Roddy. PAPA I meant to, really — but he had such charming people with him. CHLOE AND DORIS {together) Who.? PAPA The young Earl and the Countess of Hemmingway. The Countess is perfectly' exquisite. CHLOE AND DORIS Oh! DORIS Don't we know someone else who knows them.? 42 PAPA [act II CHLOE Not a soul here — but I 've heard a lot about her. PAPA They both looked bored to death by Witchmere. DORIS They are really our kind, you know. She 's got all sorts of go. . . . Roddy 's got to get them here. That would fix the Witchmeres, wouldn't it, darling? PAPA (beaming) Perfectly, my angel. Think of Witchmere trying to snub me! It is amusing! Of course I shall have to treat him charmingly to show that I did n't notice it. CHLOE Did you meet anyone else, dear.? PAPA Oh, that reminds me! Something quite distressing has occurred. CHLOE AND DORIS What, dear Papa.J^ PAPA That man is here ! CHLOE AND DORIS Which man.'* PAPA Zimzapanzi ! CHLOE My Zimzapanzi, Papa? DORIS (speaking at the same time) Chloe's Zimzapanzi, Papa? PAPA He 's at the hotel, and a very great lion, my darlings. But he is charming. I was introduced to him yes- ACT ii] PAPA 43 terday. I did n't mention it to you, but I saw him again to-day. DORIS Good heavens ! Suppose we meet him. CHLOE Oh, what shall I do? PAPA I thought of that. It quite haunted me last night. So to-day I went over and had a talk with him. DORIS What did you tell him? CHLOE What did he say? PAPA I told him all — about little Dolores, and Chloe's marriage to Dick, and Doris — everything. He was profoundly touched, my dears. CHLOE Does he love me still? DORIS Do you think we shall run into him? PAPA I explained the difficulties. He will be sure to help us avoid any embarrassing situations. He still cher- ishes the memory of Chloe, and apologized to me most abjectly. It was very wise, I think, to have this understanding with him. \_Leopold enters with the tea things. He arranges the table, DORIS Tell them, Leopold. (The servant bows and goes out) You shall have tea, darling, at once. (She busies herself at the table) Chloe, too. She 's begun 44 PAPA [act II to moon. Now, whatever happens, Chloe, be a sport and don't look as if a ghost were hanging around. CHLOE (^bracing up a little) Don't worry about me, Doris. Is — is he any stouter, Papa ? PAPA He 's robust — quite robust — but not — not un- usually so — for a tenor. DORIS (busy making the tea) Oh yes. Papa, I wanted to ask you what you think of my attitude toward little Dolores. Is it right? PAPA Quite perfect, my darling. CHLOE Ah, if you could only know how hard it is for me ! DORIS Well, I 'm the one that has the difficult time — being as soft as Roddy expects. I 'm not a bit that way myself, but he is so happy about restoring her to me that I have to keep on acting like a long-lost mother — CHLOE (^interrupting, as if making a point) Mr. Roderick certainly does act like a long-lost father. You '11 admit that, at least. DORIS (icily) That is because he has so much magnanimity. [Mr. Roderick and Dick enter. Mr. Roderick is as noticeably spic-and-span as ever, and Dick as ultra- fashionable in his fastidious fashion. There are ex- clamations in chorus as the five of them spread them- selves comfortably about, indolently and gracefully. Mr. Roderick, of course, waits near Doris, in order ACT ii] PAPA 45 to make himself useful. Tommy, the English Bull, follows and conducts himself with charm and taste, DORIS Roddy, dear, here 's Chloe's cup. [Mr. Roderick does what is required in very perfect fashion. DORIS Rum or cream, to-day, Papa.? PAPA Cream, dearest, thank you. DORIS How about it, Dick? CHLOE I long for a sandwich. DORIS Roddy, the sandwiches. \CMoe is quickly satisfied by the alert Mr, Roderick, DICK Rum for me, Doris. DORIS Here you are. [^Dick secures his own cup as Papa is peering side- ways at two sandwiches to see which he prefers. It is finally decided by his taking two. Dick, on his way to his chair, secures a sandwich for hvmself; and now Mr. Roderick, after fussing with the lamp for Doris, relaxes sufficiently to take the cup that she has fixed for him. PAPA Here, Tommy : beg ! [Tommy, having begged nicely, is allowed to share Papa's sandwich. 46 PAPA [act II MR. RODERICK Will you have anything else, my dear? DORIS A sandwich. Where are they.f* [ilf r. Roderick passes them, DORIS Thanks. CHLOE Here, Tommy. [Tommy goes toward her to beg for more, MR. RODERICK Suppose we have little Dolores down.^* Shall we? PAPA Ah yes, where is our little angel? DORIS Ring, Roddy. [Mr. Roderick rings, CHLOE Papa says the Witchmeres are at the hotel, Dick. [The hutler appears, DORIS Send Mile. Dolores, Leopold. [The hutler hows and disappears, DICK Are they coming over? DORIS Don't anybody ask them here! I don't want them! PAPA But why, my dear? DORIS {petulantly) All of them get on my nerves, frightfully: thoy always did. ACT ii] PAPA 47 MR, RODERICK (sOOthiniffll/) Then thej can't come. I '11 avoid asking them. ^Little Dolores enters, followed hy her governess. The child is dark and thm, with much dignity and very accurate manners. Her clothes are 'picturesque cmd jascinatvng. As she Trvakes her little courtesy and runs to Doris, waiting for the others to stop speaking, she is really quite wonderful. Her ease is astonishing. The governess, a French woman, pre- cise, dignified, and with a startlingly interesting face, waits near the door, following Dolores^ conduct with careful eyes. Contempt, indifference, and a super- ficial respect are all in her attitude, PAPA AND CHLOE {speaking together) Ah! The angel! The darling! MR. RODERICK AND DORIS (following cloSCly) The dear child ! — My little one ! DICK (lagging a little with his comment) Cutie ! DOLORES (as if unconscious that she has been men- tioned) Bon j our, Maman ! (She lifts her face for a kiss, while her entire audience is breathlessly watch- ing her) DORIS (kissing her with elaborate affection) D'ou viens tu, ma cherie.? DOLORES Je viens de manger mon petit souper avec Made- moiselle, Maman. (Another courtesy, and she is off to Mr, Roderick, bobbing to him) Bon jour, Papa. MR. RODERICK Bon jour, ma petite. IHe kisses her, and then lifts her high in the air by 48 PAPA [act II way of being entertaining. Even at this lack of tact Dolores does not lose her self-possession. When she is replaced on the floor, she courtesies again and rims to Chloe'. DOLORES Bon jour, ma tante. [Chloe interrupts speech and hows with an emotional embrace that Dolores finds distinctly trying. CHLOE Ah — my darling little Dolores! Do you love me? DOLORES {^prettily and almost successfully hiding a yawn as she answers in a bored tone of voice) Oui, oui, tante Chloe. (She bobs instantly and is off to Papa, who rises to receive her; they enjoy one an- other, obviously, and Dolores drops her very best courtesy) Bon jour, Grand-papa. [Papa kisses her hand, and then both her cheeks, PAPA Bon jour, mon ange. DOLORES (se^eing Tommy lurking enmously near) O, le chien, le chien ! PAPA Come here, Tommy. {He drags Tommy by the col- lar imto Dolores^ proximity and invites her to pat Tommy on the head; then encouragingly and pre- cisely) Mets ta petite main sur la tete du bon chien, ma cherie. [Dolores obeys by resting her little hand delicately on the head of the good dog. Tommy behaves beau- tifully. Everyone regards them attentively. Doris lights a cigarette. DOLORES Merci, Grandpapa. Bon jour. Tommy. ACT ii] PAPA 49 PAPA (to the governess) May I invite Dolores to share my sandwich, Made- moiselle ? THE GOVERNESS (in occented English mixed with French) Pardonnez, mais non, M'sieu. She has had her supper and a bon-bon. Ca sufBt. [Dolores is unconcerned. She leaves Tonwiy and Papa reluctantly, to run to Dick, DOLORES (^bobbing perfunctorily) Bon jour, oncle Dick. DICK (tricing to patronize her) Hello, kiddie. [Dolores turns her face up to be kissed in spite of these barbaric manners, and after Dick has given the kiss she makes still another courtesy and runs to Mademoiselle, who is waiting with one hand out- stretched as a hint that they must go. Dolores takes the hand, then releases it to Tnake her farewell cour- tesy after she has spoken. DOLORES Bonne nuit, Maman; bonne nuit, Papa; bonne nuit, tante Chloe; bonne nuit, Grand-papa; bonne nuit, oncle Dick. ALL (in chorus) Bonne nuit, ma cherie! . . . Ma petite! . . . etc. [Dolores is about to go. Suddenly she remembers something and clasps her hands. DOLORES O, la priere ! la priere ! [A second of silence answers. Doris holds out her arms. J( 50 PAPA [act n DORIS Viens t'a genouiller ici, mon ange. \_Dolores runs to Doris and kneels prettily; she bows her head and clasps her hands and makes an exquisite and touching figure as she goes through her little French prayer. Everyone about her watches her intently and everyone is fixed in an attitude of abso- lute silence, with fingers to lips in a warning to each other to be attentive. Papa is positively reverent, and Chloe seems about to yield to her emotion. Doris herself looks sweet and lovely, as she sits with her eyes downcast above the kneelimg child, one hand on Dolores' head, the other, with the cigarette between the fingers, held off in the air in an attentive gesture. The atmosphere relaxes when the prayer is finished, and Dolores arises, DOLORES Bonne nuit, Maman! [Dolores does not think it necessary to address all the others, but runs again to Mademoiselle, who bows slightly and takes the child's hand. Then they are gone, PAPA The little angel! CHLOE The darling! DORIS (^dutifully) My adorable baby ! PAPA It is positively touching to see a pure little child say- ing its evening prayer. DICK How about some bridge before dinner? ACT II ] PAPA 51 PAPA (delighted) I 'm just in the mood. (To Doris and Chloe) Who will play? CHLOE ( tranquil again) I '11 take a hand. DICK How about it, Doris.? DORIS No, thanks. [The others all look toward Mr. Roderick. ME. KODERICK You don't need me, do you ? If you don't mind play- ing with the dummy, I '11 stay out. PAPA Are we expecting any guests for dinner, dear? DORIS No, dear, but we '11 motor to the Casino later, perhaps. [Chloe and Dick follow Papa into another room. DORIS More tea, Roddy, dear? MR. RODERICK (shakcs his head) No, my dear. DORIS (holding out a cigarette case) A cigarette, dear? MR. RODERICK No, my dear. DORIS Got a headache? (She ruffles his hair) MR. RODERICK No, my dear. DORIS Worried? What about? 52 PAPA [act II MR. RODERICK Are you happy, Doris? DORIS Oh, yes, Roddy: perfectly. MR. RODERICK Have I done all that you dreamed and hoped about little Dolores.? DORIS You have been simply splendid. You have shown the greatest magnanimity. Papa said so himself. MR. RODERICK Well, I want to do still more: to bring myself to show a greater magnanimity! DORIS (^amazed) What — what could you possibly do? MR. RODERICK {slowly. With emotionol emphasis) Permit Dolores' father — her real father — to see his child! DORIS {appalled) That — that man ! MR. RODERICK I have given the subject much thought. I have said to myself that, after all, Zimzapanzi is a great tenor : artists have certain prerogatives — great artists, I mean. His mistake about you was unpardonable in every way, but doubtless he did not know who you were. He confused you with a different type of per- son. We must not forget that he is a foreigner. DORIS Yes, I forgave him: Papa forgave him: Chloe for- gave him : but we all feel — we all consider him quite, quite impossible, socially. ACT ii] PAPA 53 MR. RODERICK But surely the situation is more difficult for me than for anyone else — DORIS (interrupting) But there is n't any situation that I can see. MR. RODERICK My darling, be brave ! Zimzapanzi is here ! DORIS (acting her best and pretending amazement) Here? MR. RODERICK At the inn. Yesterday he picked me up when one of my tires got a puncture and took me on to the Casino in his machine. I did n't know who he was until we had lunched together, though I discovered him at once to be a man of great distinction, my dear, and charm. DORIS Oh, Roddy, you don't want to bring him back into my life, do you? (She seems alarmed) MR. RODERICK He is with some charming people — the Earl of Hemmingway, and the Countess. DORIS (interested in this delightful news) But Roddy — do you think we could have them here ? Zimzapanzi, I mean. ME. RODERICK If I can endure it, and you can endure it, we must — for the sake of Little Dolores ! It is his right, Doris ! DORIS Have you — asked — him — ? MR. RODERICK I went over to-day. I told him all. 54 PAPA [act II DORIS What did he say? MR. RODERICK Very little. . . . He wrung my hand. . . . He un- derstands. . . . He thanked me for — for — every- thing — particularly for speaking. DORIS (rising and becoming animated with the spirit of this adventure) You are right ! We '11 introduce them. Oh, Roddy, dear, you are so noble! MR. RODERICK My darling! {He embraces her tenderly) But what- ever your memories — you will — you will not — .? He is fascinating, my darling! DORIS Now, Roddy, don't worry about that. I could not love anybody but you. I am really not at all senti- mental about my — past. Only seeing him will be difficult. MR. RODERICK I understand perfectly. But I shall not leave you to bear the strain alone: the child and I will help you through the first meeting. [Leopold appears with a card on a tray, Doris takes it: her eyes and Mr, Roderick's meet and both thrill with the consciousness that this is a dramatic situation, DORIS It is — he I MR. RODERICK Ask the Signor to wait, Leopold. {The servant bows and goes out; Mr. Roderick turns to Boris) Now, my darling, be brave ! I did not think that he would ACT ii] PAPA 55 come so soon, but doubtless the thought of Little Dolores haunted him. I will go, myself, and bring her to you. Wait here. \^He leads her to a chair and indicates that she is to sit down. He places her, just so, and turns the chair at an effective angle: then, on tiptoe, as if he were at a funeral, he leaves the room. As soon as he is gone, she springs from her chair and to the other doorway. Her voice, as she calls, keeping an eye out for Mr. Roderick's return, is a tense stage- whisper, DORIS Papa ! I want you — just a second ! [Doris scampers hack to her chair and takes care to arrange herself just as Mr. Roderick left her. Papa enters, his cards in his hand, excitement amd alarm vn his face. PAPA My angel, what is it? DORIS {takes on the air of a guilty conspirator as she leans toward him and speaks in a tense voice) It 's that man. Papa — Zimzapanzi : he 's here ! I can't explain — but Roddy thought he ought to meet Dolores, and got him over from the hotel. It 's a good thing that you told him that Roddy thinks she 's my child, so he won't think Chloe is Roddy's wife — and spoil everything. You 're sure he got that straight.? PAPA Yes, my darling. He was very much touched by your nobility in assuming your sister's mistake. He said that such unselfishness was very rare. [Chloe enters with her cards still in her hand. 56 PAPA [act II DORIS (^rising excitedly) Good heavens ! What do you want, Chloe ? CHLOE I saw him come! Where is he? DORIS S'sh : here 's Roddy ! [The three are grouped like conspirators when through the doorway suddenly enter Mr. Roderick and Zimzapanzi, with Little Dolores between them. They enter in absolute and beautiful silence. Little Dolores wears a pink dressing gown to her ankles^ and on her feet are pink knitted bedroom slippers with wide pink bows on them. Mr. Roderick, Dolores and Zimzapanzi form a group directly facing Doris, Papa and Chloe. There is am intense long pause. In fact, the pause is too long. Zimzapanzi, who is fat and obviously a child of Italy and a person of tempera- ment, stares from Doris to Chloe hopelessly. His eyes are blank. He feels that something is required of him, but he has a poor memory for faces. Papa feels that someone ought to say something. PAPA (bowing) Ah, Signor Zimzapanzi! How delightful to have this pleasure. [Zimzapanzi bows low in response — but his eyes are blank as he still looks hopelessly out of the corner of his eyes, first at Doris, then at Chloe, then at Mr. Roderick. He is almost praying for someone to help him. Neither Papa nor Mr. Roderick quite know what is the matter. They take his silenee for fitting emotion, but begin to feel there has been enough. They expect something different. Suddenly, as the ACT ii] PAPA 57 pause is exquisitely embarrassing and 'painful, little Dolores runs toward Doris, DOLORES Maman ! Maman ! [Zimzapanzi recovers Ms poise at once. Doris seats herself again in the effective attitude in which Mr, Roderick had placed her. She opens her arms to Dolores and lifts her upon her lap, DORIS Viens ici, ma petite. \_Now that Doris and Dolores are adjusted and Zim- zapanzi is sure of his grovmd, he advances toward them with operatic ease, PAPA You '11 pardon us ? We are at bridge. [Mr, Roderick nods, Doris nods, Zimzapanzi nods, but no one replies. Chloe gives one stormy look toward Zimzapanzi and rushes out. Papa follows, Mr, Roderick takes a chair at the back of the room. Zimzapanzi feels that his way is clear, and he begins a performance calculated to charm his host as well as his hostess. He drops on one! fat knee with aston- ishing ease. His voice is deep and glorious, his Eng- lish almost perfect. His exclamation is full of feeling. ZIMZAPANZI Ah ! You ! ( Taking her hand he kisses it rever- ently) And our little one! [He" regards Dolores^ little dark face with undeniably genuine interest and affection. Doris finds him a worthy collaborator. She proceeds to act her part with much enjoyment and confidence — keeping an eye on Mr. Roderick for effect. 58 PAPA [act II DORIS You — you remember me ? \_Her voice is sweet and Zimzapanzi does not fail her. His answer is full of beauty and pathos, ZIMZAPANZI As I remember few things in my life, Madame! DORIS Sit there, won't you, near us? \_She indicates a large chair. Zimzapanzi rises from his knees and brings this chair still closer to her own. He seats himself and waits. There is a brief pause. DORIS (referring to the child in her arms) This is your — this is our — daughter. Little Do- lores. Is n't she sweet? I think she is very much like you. Don't you? ZIMZAPANZI Let me look at her. [Dolores is pushed by Doris into an upright position: she regards the stranger with polite curiosity, ZIMZAPANZI Yes, yes, she is like me. But she is more like my sister Teresa. One would notice the resemblance at once. DORIS Have you any other children? {There is the briefest pause) Oh, I beg your pardon! Roddy, dear, Dolores is like the Signor, is n't she? MR. RODERICK Quite, quite; yes, quite. [Another slight pause, ZIMZAPANZI Would she — come to me, you think? ACT ii] PAPA 59 DORIS (with an inspiration) You shall be her uncle! Cherie, do you see the new uncle? Will you not go and speak to him? He is a good uncle and loves you very much. Vas I'embrasser. DOLORES Oui, oui, Maman. (She slides from Doris^ arms, courtesies to the guest, and holds up her face to be kissed) Bon Jour, mon oncle. \_The emotional Zimzapanzi sweeps the child into his arms, kissing her and murmuring Italian words to her in his splendid voice, Dolores likes him at once. ZIMZAPANZI Ah — pretty baby — mea cara ! Com' e carina ! J^Dolor^s is impressed and even puts her arms about his neck. Doris is delighted. DORIS Oh, you are simply splendid ! Roddy, is n't he splen- did? He does love the child, and she loves him! You were right. Is n't my husband the noblest man in the world, Signor? ZIMZAPANZI (a little surprised) Yes, Madame, M'sieur is most generous. I — can- not quite understand such magnificence of the heart. This is a profound — a great joy — you may be- lieve — for me ! DORIS You shall come and see her every day ! Can't he, Roddy? You are stopping for some time at the hotel? ZIMZAPANZI For a month, Madame; then I must go to London. 60 PAPA [act II DORIS Roddy says you are with friends? ZIMZAPANZI Yes, Madame ; I should so like that you might know them. \_Papa enters again. It is plain that he could not keep away, DORIS Papa, dear, you 've no idea how perfect it has been to see them together ! The Signor adores Dolores ! And she adores him! PAPA {advancing toward the group and speaking to Dolores) Who is this, darling? DOLORES Mon cher oncle. (Dolores slips from Zimzapanzi^s arms at this, kisses Papa, and then curls herself up in a chair; she soon goes to sleep) DORIS I thought she 'd better call him " uncle " ; it is much simpler. MR. RODERICK Quite right. \_Mr. Roderick has left his seat, and he and Papa are now standing near Doris. PAPA Quite tactful of you, my darling. DORIS Signor Zimzapanzi is coming every day to see her, until he goes to London, and he has some friends he wants us to meet. ZIMZAPANZI The Earl and the Countess of Hemmingway: they are what you call in America " good sports." ACT ii] PAPA 61 PAPA That will be delightful. ziMZAPANZi {rising and turning to Mr, Roderick) I do not know quite how — to — say my thanks : especially to you, M'sieur. (He bows to Mr. Rod- erick) MR. RODERICK {beaming with his nobility) Say nothing, I beg of you: I have done only what — what was right, what was just. Your attitude has firmly convinced me that I have made no mistake. Perhaps you will dine with us.^^ ZIMZAPANZI I have engaged my friends to dine with me. It is unfortunate. Perhaps we might meet later.'' PAPA That would be delightful. ZIMZAPANZI And still later, supper. I will sing ! DORIS How perfect ! ZIMZAPANZI {to Doris) You have friends with you? DORIS There will be five of us. ZIMZAPANZI ( to Papa and Mr, Roderick) It is arranged. And now, au revoir. We shall meet to-night. {He bows over Doris^ hand with profound reverence) Au revoir, Madame. [Doris rings the bell as Zimzapanzi moves away and stops by the chair in which Dolores has gone to sleep. He stoops and kisses her, speaking in a low voice without awaking her. 62 PAPA [act II ZIMZAPANZI Buona notte, mea cara! (Now he turns to Mr. Roderick) Again, M'sieur, I thank you. {^Leopold has appeared and Zimzapanzi makes a good exit. There is a slight pause , then Papa speaks blithely. PAPA Perfectly charming, is n't he ? MR. RODERICK Great distinction and understanding. [^Dick and Chloe enter; he is peevish, DICK When you play bridge, you 've got to play bridge. CHLOE I know, Dick, but I had the fidgets. PAPA You must pardon me, my dear boy. Bridge should not be attempted at such a time. It is a thing not to be taken lightly and given only one's odd moments. DORIS Well, it 's time to dress for dinner now, anyway. Signor Zimzapanzi has asked us to supper, Chloe. The Hemmingways are to be there, so look spiffyr DICK Earl of Hemmingway? I 'd like to know why people like that take up with opera-singers and artists and people like that? DORIS What would you wear, Chloe: that yellow thing, or the little mauve from Lucille. It always makes a hit. . . . The Witchmeres are sure to see us. CHLOE The mauve, I think. . . . I 'd better put on my green ACT ii] PAPA 63 one, with the silver do-jiggers. . . . No, I shall wear that simple white chiffon, with the pink rosebuds. PAPA You look exactly like a debutante in it, my dear. Do you remember one, almost like it, that you had in your first season? CHLOE {impassively, and with a far-off look) I was just thinking of it. DORIS Where are we to meet them, Roddy? MR. RODERICK I don't think he said, my dear. I '11 see if I can catch him, and ask him. (He goes out through the terrace, in a hurry) PAPA {generously, as he goes out through curtained doorway) Now, my darling daughters, be very nice, for my sake, to the Witchmeres. DORIS Yes, Papa. Come on, Chloe. CHLOE In a moment. [Doris follows Papa out, DICK Come on, Chloe. CHLOE In a moment, Dick. Don't wait. [Dick follows Doris out. Chloe, left alone, stands beside Dolores' chair and looks down at the sleeping child. Her attitude is tender and romantic. Zimza- panzi reenters, ziMZAPANZi {coming through the curtained doorway and stopping hesitantly as he speaks) Pardon me — we 64 PAPA [act II were not introduced, I believe. (Chloe turns to him; he is explanatory and untroubled) But I returned to say that I shall await my guests at the hotel. We shall go to the Casino together. You will tell the others? CHLOE Yes. ZIMZAPANZI Your face is a little familiar, Madame. I trust that you are coming, too. {There is a little pause; he speaks with charm) Have we ever met before.'' CHLOE It was a long time ago. {Her tone is cold and half- tragic; involuntarily she glances at Dolores) ZIMZAPANZI You are — ? Forgive me! I — I remember now, I did not understand from your father that you, too, were here. Yes, yes, I remember! {His tone is un- certain, but contrite) CHLOE No, you don't. ZIMZAPANZI But I — I am almost remembering. Forgive me ! I — I — one has so much to remember in my pro- fession, Madame. You do forgive me? CHLOE I forgave you — everything, even this — the first time that I heard you sing — afterwards. ZIMZAPANZI {eagerly) What was my role? CHLOE I — I — I — don't remember exactly, now. ACT ii] PAPA 65 ziMZAPANZi (wounded and angry am,d childish) Indeed! How is that possible, if it meant so much to you? CHLOE (formal again, ignoring his question) Atid now, au revoir. You can go this way. Mr. Roderick is looking for you, but I will give him the message if you miss him. (She points the way through the French windows across the terrace) Follow that walk. Your motor is around that curve. ZIMZAPANZI Au revoir. ... I — I am not a bad fellow, Madame. [He lifts her hand to his lips, kisses it apologetically, hows and goes out. She watches him a second, shrugs her shoulders and goes out through the curtained doorway. A brief pause. Leopold appears, straight- ens a chair or two, sees Dolores and removes her — as the curtain falls. CURTAIN THE THIRD ACT PAPA'S FUTURE PERSONS Doris Chloe Papa Mr. Roderick Dick Mrs. Blythe A Maid THE THIRD ACT Seven or eight months have passed, and the Spring is approaching in London. Doris and Chloe, in a sit- ting-room of their complicated suite at the Ritz-Carlton, are trying to think of something that they might do at this early hour of half -past eleven in the mjorning. They are distinctly bored. Chloe puts aside he'r maga- zine and turns to Doris, who is playing solitaire at a table. CHLOE How stupid everything is ! DORIS London is a wretched place to shop, too. (She plays her last card and sweeps them all back into the deck; this she puts in its place in a rack on the table) CHLOE I don't even feel like buying anything. DORIS What is the matter with everybody? CHLOE You 'd better ask what is the matter with Papa. Anyone with half an eye can see that something 's wrong. DORIS It 's the weather. I '11 get Roddy to take us to the Riviera. Papa needs a change. CHLOE He has had a beautiful time here. 70 PAPA [act III DORIS Everyone is simply mad about him. CHLOE He goes everywhere and knows everybody. DORIS The Princess adored him. She told him all her chil- dren's ages, and all the funny things that they had said since they could talk. CHLOE And the prince said he 'd never tasted anything like the cocktails that Papa is onto. DORIS Even Mrs. Blythe said that she could n't see why he was n't an Ambassador. CHLOE And the other night at the opera Constantina Tretore kept half of the Peerage waiting while Papa was congratulating her after the second act. She says he is the keenest critic she has. DORIS You know it was quite fortunate, in a way, that Roddy raked up Zimzapanzi, was n't it? CHLOE You know perfectly well how I feel about that, Doris. Why mention it? DORIS Well, it was n't Roddy's fault that Zimzapanzi did n't remember you, Chloe. But you 're never grateful for anything. CHLOE Why should I be grateful for having my past re- called ? ACT III] PAPA 71 DORIS You 're always recalling it yourself. You 've filled three diaries on the strength of that one affair, you know. CHLOE Be that as it may, Doris — think of what I had to suffer in humiliation, at being forgotten. DORIS Think of what we all would have suffered if Zimza- panzi had made a mistake and picked out the wrong one — right before Roddy ! You ought to be grate- ful to your dying day that he had the sense to wait and find out which one of us was his child's mother before he said anything. You 've got to admit that he 's been a perfect dear about introducing us to people — and about Dolores. He 's simply devoted to her. CHLOE But I shall never consent to Dolores' spending the summer with him. I have no idea what sort of per- son his wife is — or what sort of children she might be allowed to know. DORIS Oh, they 've been divorced for ages : did n't you know that? Mademoiselle would go with Dolores, and if Roddy says " yes," you '11 have to be a sport and stand for it. CHLOE It is simply infamous — not having a word to say about what happens to one's own child. DORIS But she 's Zimzapanzi's, too. You can't get around that. You '11 have to act just as you would if you 'd 72 PAPA [act III been married and divorced — no matter how much you may hate him. [Enter Papa — looking excessively English, and speaking more so, PAPA Good morning, daughters ! [They run to him, pleased at this diversion, with kisses and greetings. DORIS AND CHiiOE (^together) Good morning, Papa, darhng! {They cling to his arms prettily) DORIS How are you this morning, dear? CHLOE Did you sleep well, dear? DORIS Have you had your breakfast, dear ? CHLOE Are you going out, dear? DORIS You 're looking well, dear. Do you feel better? PAPA My darling daughters, I 've come to confess some- thing. Let us be seated. [They sit in an affectionate group, DORIS Now, tell us. CHLOE It can't be anything really naughty. DORIS What is it all about, dear? PAPA You won't be vexed with me? ACT III] ^ PAPA 73 DORIS Of course not, darling. CHLOE How simply beautifully that coat fits ! DORIS {reproving Chloe with a look) Papa is in trouble, Chloe! (To Papa) Now tell us, dear. PAPA It 's about my future ; I — I want to settle down — DORIS AND CHLOE {together, with amazement) Settle down! PAPA And get to work — DORIS AND CHLOE (together, with horror) Work! PAPA And amount to something — DORIS AND CHLOE (^together with utter stupefaction) Amount to something! PAPA Do something ! Be of use ! DORIS AND CHLOE (together, feebly) Of use! PAPA To myself ! To my country ! CHLOE (with relief) To your country! Oh! Is that all? DORIS (getting his idea) You want to be an Ambassador! Mrs. Blythe has been putting it into your head! CHLOE Which country will you take, dear? 74 PAPA [act III PAPA There, there, my darlings ; you have the idea but not all — all the details. DORIS What else? CHLOE Go on, dear. PAPA I want — I think I ought — I — how can I express it? DORIS AND CHLOE {^together, hopefully) Money? PAPA No, my angels — it 's — it 's — getting married ! DORIS AND CHLOE {together in absolute astonishnt^ent) Getting married! Oh! Oh! Oh! CHLOE Why, Papa! {She begins to sob and jails into his arms) DORIS Why — why — Papa. {She is angry enough to find that she has to fight back the tears; she too is in Papa^s arms and he comforts both) PAPA There — there ! My treasures ! Forgive me ! Don't cry! {He begins to cry himself) I — I love you more than life itself, my angels ! DORIS How — how can you think of such a thing. Papa? CHLOE Are n't we good enough for you? ACT III] PAPA 75 DORIS What vile woman has been trying to entangle you, dear ? CHLOE You 're too good, Papa. You 've let some designing creature work on your sympathies ! You ought to be more careful. DORIS You have n't gone and asked anybody, yet — have you? PAPA Now — ^ now — now — now! (^He tries to be sooth- ing , but both fly up at him) CHLOE AND DORIS {together, accusingly) Have you. Papa? [There is a pause. Papa pulls himself together, PAPA Forgive me, but — I thought you 'd approve ! DORIS Who is she? CHI.OE Yes, who is she? PAPA Mrs. Blythe. CHLOE AND DORIS (together, in quite a different tone) Oh! PAPA You do approve, don't you, my angels? CHLOE AND DORIS (delighted) Of course. Papa. PAPA Only — she — she has n't accepted me yet. 76 PAPA [act III DORIS What 's wrong? CHLOE Has she given you hope? PAPA She — she 's practically said " yes " — but — CHLOE All sorts of kings have been wild about her, DOEIS For heaven's sake, Chloe, that is n't the point, now. Go on, Papa ; why did she say she hesitated ? PAPA She thinks I ought to do something — write a great book — or be an Ambassador — or buy a newspaper — or a string of horses — something. DORIS Well, you 've got to do it then. We '11 get Roddy on the job. Wait a minute. (^She goes into the next room) CHLOE Why on earth would she marry anybody ! PAPA {proudly) I have reason to think that she cherishes an affection for me. CHLOE Of course ! That must be it ! She 's in love ! DORIS {returns) I 've sent Louise for Roddy. We '11 have a consulta- tion. Where 's Dick ? CHLOE I '11 have Marguerite find him. {She goes out through the door opposite the one Doris used) ACT III] PAPA 77 DORIS (to Papa) Now, dear, which thing do you like best — horses or newspapers or books or diplomacy? PAPA That is what I 've been asking myself. [Mr. Roderick enters through the door that Doris used. At the same instant Chloe brings Dick from the opposite room, CHLOE Here he is ! [There are greetings between them all, and a slight tendency to talk at once. Presently they are all seated about the room in attentive fashion, and Doris has the floor, DORIS Roddy — you and Dick must do some very intelli- gent thinking. This is a matter of importance. We Ve got to decide on Papa's future. He 's going in for a career. MR. RODERICK A career for Papa? Quite so! DICK What for? MR. RODERICK Are you strong enough for that sort of thing? DORIS Oh, are you strong enough. Papa? CHLOE Yes, are you, Papa? PAPA It wouldn't be arduous, would it? We must select nothing too arduous. 78 PAPA [act III DICK Any sort of career is arduous, and a bore, and a lot of work. What 's the idea, anyway ? CHLOE It will surprise you very much, but — DORIS But Papa is going to get married! MR. RODERICK Papa get married.'* DICK Who 's the girli* MR. RODERICK Married.'^ Is it advisable.? DORIS Do hush, Roddy : it 's — Mrs. Blythe ! \^DicJc gives a long whistle, eloquent of the fact that he is impressed. So is Mr. Roderick. MR. RODERICK Mrs. Blythe 1 DORIS And she wants him to do something ! MR. RODERICK Quite so! Of course! Anything in mind.? {He is reverential in putting the question to Papa) PAPA It lies between three or four suggestions of the lady herself — racing, buying a newspaper, writing a book, or diplomacy. CHLOE Papa ought to write a book. DICK That 's easy. Go in for a stable. ACT III] PAPA 79 MR. RODERICK They say Wilkins wants to sell his Paris and London papers. They 've put him into things over here. DORIS It is as plain as the nose on a man's face that Papa ought to be an Ambassador. Who 's president now.^* You fix it up with him, don't you — or with a Secre- tary or assistant or something? CHLOE What I want to know is — which country ? She knows everybody, every place, of course! [^ knock is heard on the door, DORIS Come in. THE MAID (enters from the private hall) Mrs. Blythe is downstairs and wishes to know if Mrs. Roderick is at home. l^There is an intense pause, DORIS Tell them to bring her up, at once, Louise. THE MAID Yes, Madame. [The Maid goes out. The pause continues, DORIS I wonder — what — ? Fancy her coming ! PAPA I wilj go to my rooms while you receive her. DORIS I '11 come for you myself, dear, if she asks for you. If not, come back accidentally. PAPA Thank you, my dear. I understand perfectly. 80 PAPA [act m DICK I say — why is she willing to marry anyone ? DORIS Oh, yes, papa, — why is she willing to get married? I forgot to ask. CHLOE She 's in love with papa ! MR. RODERICK Quite so. . . . Oh, how very flattering! PAPA Let us hope that my darling Chloe does not ex- aggerate. You will excuse me? [^With the modest graced of a hero he goes out of the door at the hack. Another impressive pause follows, DORIS Do I look all right, Chloe? CHLOE Put that hairpin that is coming out, in. Yes — you're very attractive. Am I? DORIS Yes, exceedingly. (Pause) How ugly hotel rooms are ! None of one's own pictures — or — [There is a ring at a doorhelL A hush falls on everybody as Doris and Chloe move toward the door and Mr, Roderick and Dick rise and stand waiting. Louise opens the door from the little private hall, and Mrs. Blythe steps into the room. She is a spec- tacular person, though gotten up with the most ele- gant and daring ease. Her clothes, draped about her, caught here and there in umexpected places, are mar- vellous and picturesque. Her hat proclaims sim- plicity, but its plumage from Birds of Paradise looks priceless. On her breast is a simple aerial cluster of ACT III] PAPA 81 mauve orchids. She is slightly lame, hut instead of ignoring the fact she makes it the occasion for carry- ing a tall Shepherd's Crook of black enamel, chastely decorated with a monogram of diamonds, and with casual designs of diamonds set on its handle. She is rather tall, very erect, and her face, only inciden- tally, is beautiful. To-day she is intimate and charm- ing, in a mood to let everyone flatter and pet and love her. Nevertheless she is a very grand person as she Tnakes her entrance. DORIS AND CHLOE {together, with eager and pretty courtesy) Mrs. Blythe! How good of you! How kind! [When Mrs. Blythe is well into the room she looks from one to another with wide eyes and a very bright steadfast smile. MRS. BLYTHE Are you utterly amazed at my pastoral hour? It is n't twelve o'clock yet. I scarcely hoped to find anyone at home. It is my good luck. Freddy brings me good luck. Freddy is my little Hindoo idol. I burn incense to Freddy every night. I 've had him ever since I was sixteen, and I 've never had bad luck except when I forgot his incense. You don't think I 'm silly, do you ? CHLOE Of course, we don't. DORIS Do you really believe in him, Mrs. Blythe? MRS. BLYTHE Well — I don't pray to Freddy ; but I 'd never risk offending him, you know. He always gets his in- cense if I think of it — and if my maid forgets it, and 82 PAPA [act m anything happens, I always make it a point to dis- miss her. As I was saying, Freddy brings me good luck: I know he does, even though he has shocked several bishops. Has your father gone out? DOEIS I think not ; may I tell him that you are here, Mrs. Blythe? CHLOE He will feel so slighted if we don't. MRS. BLYTHE You are very fond of your father, are n't you ? CHLOE AND DOEis (together) Oh, yes, Mrs. Blythe ! MRS. BLYTHE Yes, tell him. DORIS Thank you, Mrs. Blythe. (She goes quickly into the next room) CHLOE We saw you at the opera last night. Papa said that he would take you our love. MRS. BLYTHE Yes. DICK I thought it was rather good — the opera, you know — for an opera. MRS. BLYTHE (languidly) I never care much for Tretore — but Zimzapanzi sang beautifully. And of course Schoen conducted with his most magnificent arm movements. DICK Yes, I got that ! ACT III] PAPA 83 MRS. BLYTHE I 've often longed to conduct an orchestra myself. Really, now that I think of it, I believe that I shall ! Let me put it down for my secretary to make a note of — (She writes on a tiny engagement pad that is attached to her gold hag) I might as well as not, at something for charity, you know. CHLOE How clever you are, dear Mrs. Blythe ! [Doris comes hack into the room, MRS. BLYTHE Well, I am clever — and I am not. I don't know anything at all about music, but I do know that I have good arms and a back. PAPA (enters) My dear Mrs. Blythe! . [Mrs. Blythe's manner suddenly turns into some- thing a little shy and youthful, hut very well done. She is changing her roles: evidently she likes the new one. She gives her hand to Papa, who kisses it. Papa has changed his tie and put on white spats. She looks at him approvingly. MRS. BLYTHE I am in a mood this morning, my friend. PAPA How delightful, since it brought you to us ! MRS. BLYTHE But my moods are like good winds that always blow somebody ill. I don't mean to be disastrous — but I am. PAPA We will willingly be your victims, dear lady. 84. PAPA [act III MRS. BLYTHE Don't promise too soon: now what do jou think this mood made me do? DORIS AND CHLOE (together) Oh, do tell us ! MRS. BLYTHE I awoke hating everything. Then I thought : " I particularly hate that stupid Princess with whom I am to have luncheon ! I won't go to her ! " Was n't that bad of me ! CHLOE Good gracious ! But what could you do about it.f^ PAPA Charming! Perfectly charming! MRS. BLYTHE You have n't heard the worst. I got the Prince on the telephone. I said to him : " I can't come to luncheon to-day with Her Highness. I don't want to. What shall I do about it.? " DORIS What did he say.? Was he angry.? MRS. BLYTHE Angry.? Oh, dear no: he knows what a bore she is, and he 's charming : he asked me if I preferred him, but when I said " no, not to-day," he said for me to go on and do what I liked, and he 'd have her send me a note not to come. You see.? Well, then I thought that I 'd like to surprise someone. So here I am! You see.? DORIS How perfectly original you are ! MR. RODERICK I say, quite so! ACT III] PAPA 85 CHLOE No wonder people say you 're unusual ! DICK It 's awfully clever of you, really, to turn 'em down when you feel like it. PAPA (^indulgently, with unconcealed affection) What a child! What a delightful, dear, spoiled child! [These words go straight to Mrs. Blythe*s heart. 'She becomes sweet and young as a breath of violets, MRS. BLYTHE And now you must come and play with me. I feel just like playing. DORIS But dear Mrs. Blythe, suppose Her Highness found out? CHLOE Yes, suppose she did.'' DICK By jove! [Everyone is anxious, MRS. BLYTHE (superbly) She won't ! And even if she did, I should not care. It is no distinction for me to be her friend. She is so indiscriminately exclusive. DORIS Indiscriminately exclusive ! You mean — PAPA Oh yes ! [Everyone realizes by Mrs. Blythe^s manner that she has been clever. They applaud her with smiles and flattering attitudes. She is ready now for some- thing else. She turns to Papa, S6 PAPA [act III MRS. BLYTHE Now what are you going to do with me? PAPA (^charmingly, with meaning) Keep you — just as long as we can! MRS. BLYTHE {evading hut recognizing his intention) You 're lunching with somebody.? I will go with you. Where.? DORIS Madame Tretore's. Of course, she 'd love having you. MRS. BLYTHE No — she wouldn't. But I'll go just the same. We 're perfectly good-natured enemies. We love putting each other out. But I was rather hoping that we might go to the country. I 'd love to be quaint to-day and stop somewhere and drink milk. PAPA Could n't I persuade you — ? MRS. BLYTHE Alone — ! My dear man, PAPA But dear lady ! MRS. BLYTHE Oh! I remember now why I came! There was a reason, too! Read that! (^She finds a letter in her hag and gives it to Papa) I don't believe it, of course — but this sort of thing is inconvenient. [Papa reads the letter and fidgets. There is an intense pause. He catches Doris' eye. She realizes something is wrong, DORIS May I — too.? ACT III] PAPA 87 MRS. BliYTHE Oh yes, all of you. It is nothing of any consequence ; of any deep consequence . . . just unpleasant. PAPA (engineering something, as he hands the letter to Doris) Dick, my boy — I forgot. Will you do something for me? \_Papa goes over to Dick, who rises, and speaks in a low voice, Dick is obliging. DICK Of course, right away. {He turns to the others) You '11 excuse me? I won't be long. PAPA (^explaining) It is a very necessary errand. [The others simply look wp and accept the incident as Dick goes out. The door closes, Doris has given the note to Chloe, An intense pause still reigns, MRS. BI.YTHE (suddenly) Perhaps I should not have concerned myself with a family matter — but — (She grows shy) CHLOE (reading) Good heavens! DORIS Read it, Roddy ! PAPA (to Mrs. Blythe as Mr. Roderick reads the note) It was splendid of you, splendid ! MRS. BLYTHE But as I was saying, my dear friend, only last night I definitely decided to marry you — PAPA (ecstatically, taking her hand) Not — not really and truly ! MRS. BLYTHE Yes — really and truly. I decided we could settle 88 PAPA [act III on a career for you afterwards. In fact, I 'm not sure that I want you to have one now ! PAPA This is too good. I can't believe it! MRS. BLYTHE I thought you 'd be glad, and I meant to telephone quite early — then this note came. Of course, it is sheer blackmail — or from somebody who is jealous of you. PAPA {drooping a little) Yes, yes — a rival, no doubt. The cad ! [There is a slight pause. Everyone is silent, think- ing and perplexed. MRS. BLYTHE It 's nonsense, really, but I thought I ought to know the straight of things. I 'm a woman of the world, dear friend. I 'm not provincial. I left America at the time of my first marriage. Certainly no one has ever called me narrow-minded. I was one of the first women of my acquaintance to go in for Socialism. I have no intention now of being curious or of blam- ing you for some past romance which, everyone in London whispers, must have been very romantic and beautiful. Your attitude has been all that anyone could desire — but I think that the situation ought to be explained to me if I am to become your wife. I love children. I have often been god-mother. I might become attached to this one. But I think I ought to know if the mother is living or dead — or whether or not she would be likely to take the child away just as I got fond of her. You see? Then, again, how could I feel as fond of her as I should unless I knew what her antecedents were.? You see? ACT III] PAPA 89 DORIS But it isn't Papa who adopted her, Mrs. Blythe. Roddy and I did it. We mean to keep her always. We consider her our child. CHLOE Mrs. Blythe — you must n't think it is Papa. I — I — I must tell the truth at last ! Dolores is my child. [There is consternation and surprise. Doris and Papa, this time, are utterly floored; hut Mr. Rod- erick advances with his tale. MR. RODERICK Do not heed her, Mrs. Blythe. No doubt Chloe means well, but she misunderstands your attitude on this subject, and is needlessly excited. I see that you are concerned, not with her father's past, but with the child herself — with her birth as it affects her position in this family. Quite right. But let me assure you that this note is a lie. The child belongs to Doris — my wife ! MRS. BLYTHE (bewildered) Really? MR. RODERICK It is entirely true. Before my wife would marry me, she told me of this one lamentable incident for which no one could possibly blame her — least of all I. DORIS Roddy was simply wonderful, Mrs. Blythe. He is so magnanimous. He adopted Dolores as soon as we 'd been married a proper length of time. MR. RODERICK Doris' father, with the greatest discretion and sym- pathy, had watched over and cared for the welfare 90 PAPA [act III of her child until that time. Now little Dolores is ours. She will never embarrass you. MRS. BLYTHE Oh, oh ! I see. But — but, on the whole, I think it is in better taste to let the rumors remain undis- turbed. A young girl, you know — really ! One can never quite reconcile such things. It looks as though she had not been well brought up. MR. RODERICK Quite so, and for that reason precisely I am pre- pared to assume, by inference, the child's parentage. Even my brother-in-law suspects me of some past entanglement, DORIS But Roddy — I don't want people to think that you ever cared enough for someone else to adopt her child. MRS. BLYTHE It is often done, my dear, especially in the house- holds of the great continental families. (^Her tone is a reproof) PAPA And now, dear lady, that this matter has been set straight — ? MRS. BLYTHE Now, really, I must go. I have decided that I don't want to see Tretore to-day. Tretore always talks about Tretore — and that bores me. I forgot. PAPA But suppose that we go to the country instead — and drink milk. MRS. BLYTHE (relenting a little) Could you? ACT III] PAPA 91 DORIS Oh yes! We can send Madam Tretore a note. Roddy writes beautiful ones. PAPA (to Mrs. Blithe) Couldn't you? MRS. BLYTHE I might — if you really want to play with me instead of Tretore. PAPA Of course. MRS. BLYTHE (to the otTievs) Then run and get ready, and in five minutes I '11 know whether I feel like it or not. DORIS Come, Roddy. You 'd better have Dick paged, Chloe. CHLOE I will. [Doris and Mr. Roderick go out through one door, Chloe through another. Mrs. Blythe is not quite her- self. She seems a little put out with Papa. He feels this; his tact is infinite, his charm exquisite. PAPA {taking her hand) A little cloud has floated across the clear blue sky of your soul, my dear. [Mrs. Blythe cannot quite resist this, hut she is still put out and sulks a little. She evades him, MRS. BLYTHE I think you 'd better have a career. After all, a man ought to have a career or a romance — something to distinguish him; in other words, a future or a past. 92 PAPA [act hi I'APA You have only to suggest what you want me to do. MRS..BLYTHE Who is the child's other parent, anyway? ]^APA A very famous person, my dear: a great opera singer : but — really, I ought not to say more — perhaps you can surmise without my speaking. MRS. BLYTHE Why — it really is romantic, is n't it? Quite a fas- cinating mystery, in fact! \_She seems pleased and muses. Doris and Mr, Roderick enter, Doris has on her motor things, Mr, Roderick has a note in his hand. DORIS Read it, Roddy. How's this. Papa? MR. RODERICK " Dear Madame Tretore : We are great blunderers. That we were going to the country to-day certainly escaped us when we made our engagement for lunch- eon with you. We are sorry — and we hope you will be — but we are afraid that you will draw a breath of relief. With deep regrets from all," etc. MRS. BLYTHE She will know that something 's up — it 's so civil. [Chloe and Dick enter from the other room, Chloe has her motor things on, Dick holds a note, DICK {to Papa) Here 's a telegram. I found it in the box down- stairs. I landed on the clerk for not sending it up. CHLOE AND DORIS (together) Oh, read it. Papa! What is it, Papa? ACT III] PAPA 93 PAPA {opens the letter, glances through it and reads aloud) It's from Madame Tretore. "Don't come! I 'm going some place with Zimzapanzi to get mar- ried. Read the details in the papers, as I really don't know exactly where, when, or how. Fearfully rushed. Zimzapanzi says that we must have little Dolores for our vacation. Of course, I insist also. Love to the little dear. Aifectionately, Tina." CHLOE Oh! DORIS How exciting! MR. RODERICK How satisfactory! DICK Why is everyone so keen on the kiddie.'^ MRS. BLYTHE Now are we all ready .^^ PAPA In just an instant, if you '11 pardon me. {He goes out) MR. RODERICK Just a second. {He too goes out) DICK In a minute. {He too goes out) MRS. BLYTHE {tums to Doris and Chloe) Come here, my dears. [They go to her. She takes a hand of each. MRS. BLYTHE You love your father very much, don't you.'^ CHLOE Of course, Mrs. Blythe. 94 PAPA [act hi DORIS He 's the noblest man in the world, Mrs. Blythe. MRS. BLYTHE You 'd do anything for him? DORIS AND CHLOE (together) Oh, of course, Mrs. Blythe. MRS. BLYTHE Will you love me too.^^ DORIS You're perfectly wonderful, dear Mrs. Blythe! CHLOE You 're the only woman in the world we 'd let Papa marry, Mrs. Blythe! MR. RODERICK (enters with his coat orty his stick, gloves and hat in his hand) I am ready. DICK (enters with his coat on from another direction, carrying hat, gloves and stick) Ready. PAPA (enters from the rear; he also wears his coat and carries his gloves, hat and stick) Now! MRS. BLYTHE (tO the OthcTs) We will follow you. My motor is waiting. You can find it for us. [Doris, Chloe, Dick and Mr. Roderick assent in chorus and are gone. Papa goes toward Mrs, Blythe, PAPA Now, dear lady.?^ MRS. BLYTHE I just wanted to tell you, my dear, that I under- stand. Your daughters have shown great devotion — especially Doris. Her husband evidently believes her story. I consider the matter beautifully settled, and am quite content to let things stand as they are. ACT III] PAPA 95 You have conducted yourself with great gallantry, but I perceive the truth, although I understand that you may wish to protest in order to protect her. I can be as generous as Zimzapanzi. I cannot blame you. Tretore is very beautiful and very good. She has been singularly eccentric about her reputa- tion. Kings have failed where you succeeded. I wonder if the child will have a voice. I prefer my engagement ring to be set with a single ruby. I love rubies: I always have. [Papa perceives that she has thrust him into an un- comfortably false position, but, smce that is where she wishes hvm to sit, he resolves heroically to do so for her sake. He kisses her hand and looks into her eyes with the humility of a repentam,t sinner entering heaven, PAPA My darling ! I am a man ! There has been much in my life which I ask you to forgive. I — I am not worthy of you. Yes, Little Dolores sings very nicely, already. I shall trust my son-in-law to find me the handsomest ruby in Europe for the most beautiful hand in Europe. Mr. Roderick is quite an expert. You have made me very proud. Shall we go? [Mrs, Blythe takes his arm affectionately and trust- fully, as the curtain falls, CURTAIN DEC 9 1913 1^ CONGRESS