PS 1059 .B22 C6 1877 Copy 1 \ y COMRADES. A DRAMA IN THREE ACTS. BY GEORGE M. BAKER, f This play is protected by law, and can only be performed by special arrangement with the author. PRINTED, NOT PUBLISHED. 1877. COSTUMES. Royal. Age 35. Act I. Velvet breakfast jacket, light pants, dark vest, dark curly wig slightly sprinkled with gray, dark mustache, and side whiskers. Act II. Dark suit, thin travelling " ulster," slouch hat. Act III. Dark mixed suit. Matt. Age 45. Act I. Ragged suit, with army cap, full gray ragged beard, rough gray wig; red nose, and general make up of a drunkard. Act II. Riding coat, light pants, riding boots, wide collar rolled over coat, open at throat; neat gray wig, long gray side whiskers ; face clean shaved, a little florid, whole ap- pearance neat. Act III. 1st dress. Old ragged army overcoat, buttoned at throat, slouch hat whiskers and wig as in act II, but chin rough and dirty, nose red, general rough appearance. 2d dress, on last appearance, same as in act II, chin clean and smooth ; general appearance the same as in act II. Marcus. Age 24. Act I. Genteel riding suit, with boots and whip. Act II. Darksuit, and travelling overcoat or ulster. Act III. Handsome mixed full suit. Hair and mustache natural. Simon. Age 25. Act I. Fashionable "loud" spring suit, red neck-tie, white hat, red wig. Act II. Dark pants, green apron, short green jacket. Act III. Light pants, blue coat with brass buttons, black hat, large gold chain, diamond pin a la Tweed ; dark pants and white gaiters. May. Act I. Tasty morning dress, with pretty morning cap. Act II. After- noon dress, muslin; apron and gloves on entrance. Act III. Evening dress, liandsome and tasty. Bessie. Three dresses of the same character to contrast with May. Najicy. Act I. Balmoral Peticoat, calico dress, pinned up ; sleeves rolled up. Act II. Neat muslio dress, with apron. Act III. Brown dress, white col- lar and cuffs. CHARACTERS. Royal Manning. Matt Winsor, a tramp. Marcus Graves. Simon Stone, a Jack at all Trades. May Manning, "Rojr's Wife." Bessie Bradley. Nancy Nipper. COMRADES. A DRAMA IN THREE ACTS ACT I. Scene. — Room in Royal Manning's ho7nc. Doors c, open to gardejt; lo7ig window in flat ; L., with cttrtains, d?'aped back, stand of fiowei's before it; upright piano agaijist flat, R., of door, at which Bessie is seated, playing, back to andie?ice. Majitel, r., with fireplace. Royal staiiding in chair hanging a sabre {sheathed) above the mantel. Table L., C, May seated l. of it, sewing. Chair R. of table, hassock near itj ottomaji back near window. Doors I and 3 en- trance R.y door id entrance, l. Flowers in vase on mantel ; whole scene tasty and comfortable. Music at 7-ising of curtain, — " The Dearest Spot on Earth to the is Home, Sweet Home / " Royal. There, May, we'll hang this relic of my warrior days above the mantel, to remind us, that now I have be- come a husband, the sword is beaten into a ploughshare. May. Very appropriate, now you have become a hus- bandman. Roy. Good, very good ! Wedlock has sharpened your wits. Yes, I am the happy husband of the best -little wife ever erring man was blessed with. Oh, blissful state of matrimony! why did I not become your naturalized citizen before ? {Steps from chair). There, old friend, rest in peace ! no more shall we in fellowship dash upon the enemy; no more, hand in hand, encounter the perils of the battlefield, the glory of triumph, the shame of defeat. Oh, rest in peace, old dog of war, until you grow rusty with honorable age ! May. How very pathetic ! You have pronounced the eulogy. Bess, a dirge would be appropriate just now. Bess. Yes. How would "Old Dog Tray" suit the occasion ? COMRADES. Roy. Very bad. A biting sarcasm {Looks at sabre). Rather ornamental. Hey, May.^ {Sits in chai?', R. of table.) May. It has a wicked look. It makes me shudder. Roy. Indeed! then down it comes. {Rises.) May. No, let it hang. I only fear that, like its master, it may occasionally have martial fits, and then — Roy. Fits ! Well, what then .? May. My poor vases would fall beneath the sword. Roy. Never fear; like its master, 'tis securely tied to your apron-string. How time flies ! 'Tis ten years since my old friend and I closed our campaign. May. And just three months since we closed our cam- paign— Roy. Of courtship, yes, and massed our forces for the battle of life. Yes, yes. Then I captured the heart, which, for two years, I had so valiantly attacked. May. Valiantly, indeed. 'Twas with fear and trembling, you, the veteran warrior, approached the citadel. Roy. Which was longing to surrender. May. No; I'll not confess that. Roy. But you do not regret it, May.^ You are happy here .? May. Happy, Roy ? I never dared to dream of so much happiness. I, a poor sewing-girl, earning my living with the needle, have now a home any lady might well be proud of, and a husband — Bess. Ahem ! Roy {rising). Hallo ! Little Pitcher's ears are wide open. {Crossing to mantel^ and leaning against it). What's the mat- ter, Bess ? Vi^s?, {swinging round on stool). Can't you speak a httle louder, you two.-* It's so provoking to only hear the ripple of a conversation which you know will be sure to end in a smacking breeze. Roy. I was not within saluting distance. {Aside.) I wish 1 had been. Bess. Then I should have had a full report of your con- versation. Ha ! ha ! ha ! you two have been married three months, and have not yet finished your courting. Remark- able vitality! I thought love-making ended at the altar. Roy. Remarkable ignorance, Bess. But you are young and green. Did you, indeed? COMRADES. 7 Bess. Yes ; and that the flame of love was extinguished when the husband, poor man ! was obhged to rise, on a cold, frosty morning, to build the fire. Roy. That only adds fuel to the flame. Bess. That the fountain of affection ceased to flow, when he had to go a mile to draw a pail of water. Roy. Liquid nonsense. You are alluding, of course, now, chatterbox, to our first effort at housekeeping; but all that is over; everything is nicely arranged, and we can now bask in the warmth of domestic fires. Bess. If the chimney doesn't smoke, — which it does, you know, awfully. Roy ( cj'ossino^ to chair r. of table). Hang the chimney ! You'd put a damper on anything. May, what shall we do with this girl? May. Let her scoff. It will be our turn soon ; her fate is approaching. Bess {Jumping up). Did you hear his step? Roy. Ha ! hk ! ha ! . " By the pricking of my thumbs, Something wicked this way comes." Bess. It's Marcus, and you have told me. {Exit C.) May. Stop! stop! Bess! I hear nothing. Roy. Let her go; no doubt she'll meet Marcus, and, having found him, she'll inark-iis no more. Do you know. May, I'm getting anxious about that young man. May. He's a very agreeable fellow, seems honest, and is fast winning the affections of Bess. Roy. Yes, I know all that you know ; but what we don't know is what bothers me. When, in pursuit of happiness, I made my way to the humble but comfortable residence of the late Mrs. Bradley, you being the attraction, I found this young man paying court to Bess in the parlor, while I emulated his example by making love to you in the sitting- room. May. They were well called suite {soot) er rooms, ha ! ha ! ha ! Roy. Allow me to correct your pronunciation for suite {sweet) er, rooms, they must have been, with two pair of lovers. Well, Mrs. Bradley died. You must have a home ; there was nothing to hinder, and we were married, came here, 5 COMRADES. and brought Bess with us, a welcome addition to our house- hold. May. Dear girl ! She is the light of our house. Roy. Well, I cannot exactly agree with you, having a star of the first magnitude before my eyes. As a matter of course, Mr. Marcus Graves follows. I don't object to that, but I do object to his secretiveness. Who is he .'' He seems to have no relatives, no friends : at least he never speaks of them. May. You know his business ? Roy. Yes. He's a drummer. May. a military man. Then you surely should like him. Roy. a military man — not exactly, our military drum- mer — musters his men to battle with the rattle of his sheej> skin ; your civil drummer, with the rattle of his tongue, taps the sheepskin of the men he musters, and too often makes enemies in his own ranks, with short and poor rations not up to sample. Yes ; I have become the natural protector of this young lady, and should know something about this ardent suitor who never speaks of marriage. May. To be sure you should. Well, why don't you .>* Roy What ! Pin him in a corner, and, like a stern par- ent, ask him who are his parents, and what are his intentions. May. And what then ? Roy. Ten to one he'll fly into a passion, tell me it's none of my business, and quit the house in disgust. May. Somehow, Roy, I have faith in Marcus Graves. Roy. Because Bessie loves him. Oh, the warm cloak of affection covers a multitude of sins ! May. For the world I would not bring a pang to her dear heart ! Her mother, for fifteen years, was the dearest friend I had in the world. When the war broke out, my father went to battle. We were all in the West then. What ever became of him I never knew. No doubt he died for his country as bravely as he went forth. My mother — Roy. Deserted you ! Fled with your father's friend ! It's a sad story, May. Don't speak of it. May. Yes : I was left to the care of strangers. And this kind neighbor, Mrs. Bradley, took pity upon me. She was poor ; but, hard as was her lot, I was treated as her own child. O Roy ! she was a mother to the friendless little COMRADES. ' g Stranger ! Heaven knows I am grateful ! All the tenderness she bestowed upon me I have tried to repay in love for her child. In days of poverty, Bess and I sliared our crusts to-« gether ; and now that fortune has blessed me with prosperity, her happiness is more than ever, with your dear help, to be the aim of my life. Comrades in adversity should be com- rades in prosperity. Roy. Right, Mary. For her happiness we will strive to- gether. Comrades ! ah, that brings back the old days. May ! But I forget ; you do not like to have me speak of them. May. You do not mean that, Roy. Am I not proud of your war record ? Do I not glory in your triumphs, there where brave men fought and fell. Roy. That old sabre, if it had a tongue, could tell won- drous stories. Ah! old fellow! you failed me once. In those old days I had a friendship for a man in our regiment, with whom I made a queer compact, something after the manner of yours and Bessie's. He saved my life one day. 'Twas at Antietam, we were swooping down upon the ene- my, — a cloud of horsemen with flashing sabres. Just as we reached the foe, my horse stumbled and fell. I thought my time had come. But between me and a descending sabre rode my comrade. I was saved. That night in camp we renewed our friendship, and, in jovial mood, vowed that whatever good fortune should be in store for u,s in the future should be shared between us. We were both poor — nothing but our soldier's pay. The war ending, we parted. He wen^ West in search of friends. I come here, to find my only friend, my father, dead, and, to my surprise, a small fortune awaiting me. Poor fellow ! I often wonder if he fared as well. {Rises, goes R.) May. And you have not seen him since .'* Roy. No : one of these days I mean to hunt him up. May. To share with him your fortune ? Roy {comes to back of her chair, hand on table; looks at her). If he be poor, yes ; for I shall still be rich. He could not claim my chief treasure, my pearl above price, — you {stoops to kiss her). {Enter Bess, c.) Bess. Ahem I Roy {starting up, and crossing to r). Bother that girl ! Well, what now 1 10 ' COMRADES. Bess. I smell smoke, and where there's smoke there must be fire. * Roy. Not where you are. You're a capital extinguisher. May. Did you find him, Bess ? Bess. No. 'Twas a false alarm. Oh, dear ! why don't he come ? Roy. Poor dear ! how sad ! Hasn't seen him since last night — no, this morning; for Til be hanged if the sun wasn't rising when I got up to fasten the "door after him ! Bess. Yes, your father's son. What a shame — Roy. Your right. I nearly caught my death. Bess. To talk so ! You know he left the house before ten. Roy. This morning, yes. Quite time to be moving. May. Roy, don't torment her. See how anxious she is ! Roy. As anxious as a cat to seize a poor little mouse, that she may tease it. Bess. Oh, you wicked wretch ! You know we never quarrel. {Goes l.) (Marcus runs in c, riding-whip in hand.) Mar. Oh, here you are. Manning ! Call your chickens under their mother's wing ; fasten up the hen-roost ; barri- cade your pigpen ; call out your troops, and plant your big- gest guns upon the ramparts. The enemy is at your door ! Roy. Halloa! Halloa! What's the matter.? May. Enemy ! what enemy ? Bess. Marcus, have you been drinking.'' Roy. I told you he was up late. Well, old fellow, who is the enemy ? Mar. The terror of housekeepers ! the devourer of cold meats ! the robber of the clothes-line ! Hush ! " take heed ! whisper low " — the tramp. Roy. Oh ! Bess. Ah ! May. Indeed! Mar. Yes. I met a true type of the fraternity half a mile below. He stopped my horse, and begged money. I always make short work of these fellows, so tossed him a quarter and rode on. He turned into that shanty set apart for the entertainment of man and beast, and no doubt will pour entertainment down his throat in beastly style. So look out, Manning. He may pay you a visit. COMRADES. 1 1 Roy. 'Twill be a short one, then; and I'll give him no quarter. Mar. Well, how are you all, particularly my bonny Bess ? {Shakes hands with he?\ l.) Roy. Half a mile below. Did he look rough .? Mar. Rough, but good-natured. Dress ragged, face bloated, figure plump. These fellows thrive on their pick- ings these pests. Roy. Don't say that, Marcus. , The fellow may have been unfortunate. Mar. Unfortunate 1 Bah ! What's misfortune but a roll in the dust.^ — jump up, shake yourself, and you're as good as new. I've no patience with a man who wants vim — something on the side of his face — you know — cheek! Roy. Yes : a quality which tramps {aside) and drum- mers {aloud) possess in a wonderful degree. (Bess goes tip to piano) Mar. For my part, I never allow myself to be staggered by the blows of fate. When they come, I take a long breath, and hit out straight from the shoulder. May. When did you hear from your father, Mr. Graves ? Mar {confused). Eh, — my fa — yes — oh, yes ! That is — not lately. May. He was well when you heard ? Mar. Oh, yes, beautiful — that is hearty — he wishes to be remembered to all my customers — my friends, I mean. {Goes up to piano.) Roy {co77iing to table). May, what are you doing ? May. Pinning him in a corner. You men are so afraid of each other. Woman's curiosity knows no fear. We've found out one thing : he has a father. Roy. Yes, and one other : he's afraid of him. Did you notice his hesitation .'' May. Yes. There's some mystery about that father, which I mean to fathom. Roy. But not now ; give him time. You staggered him — after his boast, too. He didn't strike out well. Come, let's go into the garden. The young people want to be left alone. {Goes up.) May {rising). Yes. I want you to look at my helio- ti'opes ; they're just splendid ! {Goes up and places arm ift Roy's.) 12 COMRADES. Roy. All right. Good-by, Bess. Don't catch cold. There's a smacking breeze coming. Bess. And another going. Good-by. (Roy and May exit c.) (Graves comes down slowly and sits in chair k., of table. Bess watches him without speaking^ Graves {slowly). Now what possessed Mrs. Manning to speak of my father? A subject to which I have never alluded. Can she mistrust me? Egad! she nearly took away my breath. My boasted boldness vanished like a flash. (Bess rises^ takes a wisp of hay from mantel^ and comes behind him.) And yet I've nothing to be ashamed of, — only a mystery. Mystery ! why should I have a mystery here? (Bess tickles his ear with the wisp. He brushes it off quickly) Confound it ! its hurting me. This girl loves me, and I love her. I've only to speak and she is mine. (Bess tickles him. He b?'ushes it o^.) Hang it! I'm tormented with doubts. But confession is a sure road to favor. I'll make a confidant of Bessie. If anybody else should tell her I should be (Bess tickles him again) stung with shame. Yes, I'll meet \\.{liKSS pjits her arms rou7id his neck and brings her face round as he speaks this) face to face. Bess. Dreaming, Marcus ? {Sits on hassock at his feet., back to audience). Mar. Why, Bess, what a brute I've been ! Yes, dream- ing, Bess, of a happy future, I trust, in store for you and me. Do you ever dream of that time ? Bess. Not I. When the skies are bright above us, why should we seek to peep even in dreams beneath the horizon when we know not what storms may be gathering there to roll over the brightness of the present ? Mar. Yes ; but the cautious mariner is ever alert for the faintest signs of the coming storm. Bess. Well, I am not a mariner, and my umbrella is always at hand. Mar. Bess, can't you be serious ? Bess. I don't know. Try me. Mar. Bess, I love you. Bess. A failure, Marcus. That pleases me. Mar. And you are to be my wife ? Bess. Another, Marcus. That delights me. Mar. Yes, Bess ; I Icnow my love is returned. For COMRADES. 13 three years we have been all in all to each other ; and now, Bess, I tell you I am unworthy of your love. Bess. You, Marcus ! Now, you surprise me ! Mar. You trust me fully? You would go with me to the altar hand in hand, beyond the altar to death itself — Bess. To death itself, Marcus ! Mar. And yet, on my part, their has been no confidence ; into my past life you have had no glimpse. You took me, a stranger, to your heart, — never questioned me ; and, beyond the interchange of affection, myself, my fortune, and my home are strangers still. Bess. Blind, Marcus ! Blind, are you ? My woman's curiosity sought in the beginning to know you ; my heart's instinct probed you, to know if you were worthy. I found you polite, chivalrous, charitable, with a heart open to every cry of distress, a hand ever ready to proffer assistance. Oh, I tried you deeply, as your purse can show ! I found you true, noble, sincere. I had no right to question further. Mar. But you must know me, Bess. Bess. When you please, Marcus. Mar. Then patiently hear me ; for on your judgment rest my hopes of future happiness. Bess. Indeed ! Now, Marcus, I am serious. Mar. Bess! {Enter Simon Stone, c, quickly.) Sim. Beg your pardon ! Don't rise — I may be right. I may be mistaken — Don't rise. Is this the abode of Miss Nancy Nipper ? Bess {rises quickly. Marcus sits still). Yes. Nancy is in the kitchen. Sim. Oh, made a mistake ! Yes, yes. Can you point out the position of the culinary department of your dwelling ? Bess. I will call her in. Take a seat. Sim. Ah, thank you. (Bess exit R. i. e.) Here's my card. Gone ! gone without it, and I went to the expense of getting up that card for the express purpose of having it placed in the hands of Miss Nancy Nipper. Says I, " Simon, don't be shabby. Go, like a gentleman. Spare no expense." — and it's useless. {Comes doww^., ttirns, and sees Marcus in chair.) Halloa, Mark ! — Mark, the perfect man. Mar {rises). Si, old fellow where in the world did you drop from ? {Gives hand.) 14 COMRADES. SiMO'i^ {takes hand a?id shakes it). Well, in truth, Mark — But stop. I interrupted a tete-a-tete. There was a young lady sitting on that hassock. O Mark, this is too bad ! I'm in the way. Good-by {sta^^ts for door). Mar {detaining him). Stop, stop. Si ! it's all right. But why are you here ? Simon. I — why — well — Look here, Mark, I know I'm in the way. I'll come again {starts for door). Mar {detaining him). No, no ; it's all right, Si. I see — you're in love with our Nancy. Simon. Our Nancy! Our — Good gracious, Mark ! You don't mean to say that you are aspiring to the affection of that damsel ? Mar. Ha, ha, Si ! You need not fear. When I said our Nancy, I meant our girl — help, you understand. Simon. Oh ! Ah ! Then you are one of the family. Mar {confused). Well, no. Not exactly. Simon. Oh, I see. Don't blush, but I'm sure I must be in the way. I'll come again {starts for door). Mar {detaining hi7n). Simon, stop. If you leave this room we are enemies. Simon. But, Mark, I might blast your prospects, were it known that you and I — Mar. Were friends, dear friends ; that you were the only one who reached out a helping hand to me a destitute stranger, when I entered yonder city, five years ago. Simon. None of that, Mark. Don't be shabby ; helping hand, indeed, to a loft in the sixth story, a bed on a heap of rags, and dry bread washed down with water. Mar. Divided your substance with me. Sim, when I forget your kindness, may I be as hungry as I was then. Simon. Yes ; but, Mark — Mar. Hush. Here comes Miss Bess. Simon. Then I'll just step outside {going). Mar {detaining him). Not a step. {Enter Bess, r. i. e.) Bess. Nancy will be here in a minute. Mr. — Mar {comifig down l., leading Simon, the right hands clasped). Bess, Miss Bradley, allow me to present a very dear friend, — Mr. Simon Stone, my chum. Bess. Indeed {offering her hand). Mr, Stone, you are very welcome here. COMRADES. 15 Simon {takes hand). Ah — yes ; thank you. Thank you — very kind {goes L.). Chums. Chums, — before her, too. There's nothing shabby about that. Mar. We'll leave you, Simon, to your friend ; but don't go until I've seen you again. Bess. Oh, no. You must stop to dinner. [Bess ajid Marcus exeimt, c, ann in arm."] Simon. Yes, thank you, much obhged. Well, now, that's hearty ; pretty as a picture, and he, there's nothing shabby about him. Now, for Nancy. Won't her eyes glisten when she sees me in this stunning get-up. I never did care for dress, but when I made up my mind to look after Nancy again, 1 said to myself, " Simon, don't be shabby ; do the thing in style ; " and here I am, bran new from top to toe, from shampoo to shining leather, but with the same old heart inside of me, advancing double-shuffle to the tune of " Nancy is my darling." {Enter Nancy, r. i. e.) Nancy. Now, I'd like to know who — Good gracious ! it's Simon Stone. Simon. Nancy, it is. Simon, your Simon. How dye do {offers hand). Nancy. Well, I declare ! rigged out like a dancing-jack. You extravagant dog ! Simon {turning round). Gay, ain't it. Cut to order by an artist, {turns round) ; look at the " elegance of expression " in the back of that coat, and the tout ensejnble of these panta- loons. That's what he called 'em, and I know they're there, for I paid for 'em. Nothing shabby about me. Nancy. Well, and what brings you here ? Simon. Love, Nancy. Devotion, Nancy. Affection, Nancy — Nancy. Rubbish! Are you a fool.? Don't you know better than to bring such things here on a washing-day? Simon. Washing-day! Confound it, Nancy! I'm fated to call when you are in the suds. Nancy. Because you always manage to come on a Mon- day, when I am up to my ears in a tub. Simon. Monday — washing-day. That's why somebody says cleanliness comes next to godliness, Nancy. Simon Stone, what is your present occupation ? Simon. Nancy, at present I am a humble but earivest l6 COMRADES. worker in the confectionery busines. {Takes box from left coat pocket) Have a gum-drop ? {Offers paper) Nancy. No. Confectionery, indeed ! Simon {puts back paper). Nancy, tlie first time I ever approached you in humble admiration of your grace and beauty — try a peppermint. {Takes paper from his pocket and offers it.) Nancy {folding her arms and turning her head). No. Simon (/!'?//j- back paper). I was a butcher, — an honest but bloody butcher. You turned up your nose at the scent of blood. Nancy. Because I knew you wouldn't stick to it. Simon. I turned my back upon the slaughtered beeves, and in that higher sphere, the milky way, sought to win your love. You politely but firmly assured me I couldn't comet in that line. Nancy. I detest the whole race ! Milk and water men ! I'd like to scald them. SiiMON. Cremation would suit them better. My next venture was in the slippery walks of butter and cheese. Nancy, Anything but a butter man. Simon. So I found out, when I attempted to shde into your affections in that role. You told me to cheese it. I un- derstood you, and I sought a higher sphere. I embarked in the electric line, and went out into the highways and by-ways to introduce lightning-rods. Nancy. Well, I found no fault with that. Simon. No ; but I did. Nancy. Why didn't you stick to it ? Simon. Well, Nancy, {takes box from breast pocket). Have a little taffee ? Nancy. No. Simon {puts paper back). The fact is, lightning-rods don't agree with me. I started out in high hopes, one bright morning, espied an unprotected dwelling, rushed boldly up, rung the bell, notwithstanding a gigantic mastiff lay at my feet, evidently occupied in catching flies. Gent came to the door. In glowing speech I introduced my business. He rubbed his chin, said, " I don't know," and looked at the dog. I found he did know, when he further remarked, with emphasis, " Rover, here's another rod man." The dog gave a growl and rose. An electric shock was communicated to COMRADES. 17 my being, and I calculated in one brief minute how many rods I should have to clear before reaching my rods outside. Then I left, closely attended by the dog. I didn't own these clothes then ; if I had my loss would have been greater, especially in that part of my wardrobe which the artist des- ignated as tout e7ise7nble. I gave up that business in disgust. Nancy. Well, what next.? Simon. Then I sought the confectioner's emporium. Said I, here's a sweet occupation, and a candid young man can win more lasses' favor in this line than in any other. Nancy, you would adore me could you see me in a white apron, pulling molasses candy over a hook {with gestures)^ with a long pull, and a strong pull, and a pull altogether ! Nancy. Simon Stone, you are a fool ! Simon. Nancy, I know it, or I should not be running after you, when I've been snubbed time and time again. Nancy, dear Nancy, look upon me with favor this time. {Takes box from pocket behind.) Accept tlds slight but sweet offering of affection. {Presents it.) Real French candy — made it myself. Nancy {taking box). Do you mean to stick to this busi-. ness, Simon ? Simon. To be sure I do, and it's an awful sticky business I tell you — specially setting down into a pan of hot, cooHng candy when you aren't particularly tired. Nancy. Well, Simon, if I thought I could trust you. Simon. You can, Nancy, you can. O Nancy, quit this scrubbing existence and work for me alone ! Nancy. I'll think about it when you find the soap. Simon. I have found it in the confectionery line. Nancy. Well, Simon, I must confess I rather hke that. Simon. Do you Nancy. Eurekey, I've found it at last! {Takes paper from pant's pocket.) Try a chocolate drop, Nancy. {She takes it.) You make me so happy. It's just the nicest business you ever looked upon. Rows and rows of shelves filled with all that's sweet to the tooth — and profitable to the dentist. And then the girls, Nancy, you should see the girls. Nancy. The what.? Simon. Girls. Pretty girls that tend behind the coun- ters, deahng out sugar plums, and — and lozengers, and — and kisses, with eyes full of fun and mouths full of candy. Oh, it's just glorious ! Ha ! ha ! ha ! l8 COMRADES. Nancy {sternly). Simon ! Simon {sobered). Well, Nancy ? Nancy. Do you ever look at the girls ? Simon. To be sure I do. I've often received a kiss from them. Nancy. Simon ! Simon. Sugar ones, Nancy. Nancy. Very well, Simon, very well. I'm perfectly sat- isfied. Simon. Oh, Nancy! then you — Nancy {furiously). I'll have nothing more to say to a man who so debases himself as to associate with lozengers and lollypops, sugar plums and pretty girls, with eyes full of candy and mouths full of kisses. Good morning, Mr. Stone. Simon. Where are you going, Nancy? Nancy. Back to my washing. The business won't suit, Simon. Simon. What ! are you going to snub me again.'* {Ajigry.) Hang it, Nancy Nipper! I'm not going to be treated in this shabby manner ! Take me now, or you lose me forever. It's the last time of asking. Nancy. I'm glad of that. 'Twill save much trouble. Simon. Then give me back my French mixture. There is nothing shabby about me ; but if I can't have your affec- tion, you shan't have my confectionery. Nancy {throws box at him). There ! Simon {picks up box). Good day. Miss Nipper. You've nipped my prospects of having your sweet self; but I've got a sweet thing left in the sugar and molasses line, and I don't mean to give it up. Nancy. Go back to your sweet things, your pretty waiter girls. Go, sir ! Simon. I will, you cruel, heartless, scrubby thing I and if ever I face you again with an offer of my heart — Nancy. Be sure to come on Monday ; for then I always have plenty of hot water. Simon. Bah ! I hope you'll live and die an old maid, Miss Nipper. Them's my compliments to you, and there's nothing shabby about me. {Exit c.) Nancy. Good riddance, Simon. Wonder in what new freak of business he'll appear next COMRADES. 19 {Efiter May c.) May. Ah, Nancy, you've had a visitor ! Nice-lookino- clever young man, I should say. {Seais herself at he?- sewing L. of table). ^ Nancy. Clever ! he's too clever. Thinks he knows a great deal ; and I think he knows more by this time. They're all clever enough to come offering their affection; but,tiirhe can otter somethmg more substantial, he'll find I'm clever enou