.■5r.»1 POST* fJEtESS In Great Britain only ]6!l. OR 1 5 CtNTS. OS'S ACTING EDITION GRANNY'S JULIET (HERBERT SWEARS). The FEE for each AMATEUR representation of the ||||;i piece is A /', payable in advance to SAMUEL FRENCH, Ltd., 26, Southatnp.ton Street, Strand, Londoi, W.C. <;-<; ) IjONDOn : |\ SAMUEL FRENCH. Ltd., ) PUBLISHERS, ) a.1, SOUTHAMPTON STREET, ) STRAND. > NiEW Your ; SAJSrCJEL FRENCH. PDBLISHEB, \ 28, WEST 38th STREET. ) BELFAST- mM { „JNiCHOi,sox. 26, Church Lane. "5^^) BIRMINGHAM- JAM Ks QvKuT, 12, Snow Hill. ;| ■ ) W.H.Smith & Son, 34. Union St ) BRADFORD- \ W. H. Smith A Sow, 5. Dale Street. BRISTOL- I B. ToLBMAiT, 2, Rupert Street. <>^^ { DUBLIN- ( Morrow's Library ,l2,Nas8au St. EDINBURGH- f H. KoBiNsoN. 111-115, Leith St. GLASGOW- Wm. Love. 221 , Argyle Street. LEEDS- R. Jackson, 18, Commercfal St. LIVERPOOL— J. BURKINSHAW & Sons, 28-30, Colquitt Street. MANCHESTEH- JoHN Hkywood, Deansgat« and Ridgeflelri. NEWCASTLE-ON-TYNE- Thomas Allan, 18 & 20, Blackett Street. 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Originally produced at the Playhoiise, London, under the management of Mr. Cyril Maude and the direction of the Author, on October 19, 1910. The Cook (Maria) • . Miss Margaret Murray. The PARiiOUBMAiD (Ada) . Miss Maude Buchanan. The Kitchenmaid (Emily) «= Miss Ethel Ross. Scene. — The Kitchen, TiMB.— ^Evening, during the serving of dinner. One Act, Price 6d. 30 minutes in represen- tation. One Scene. Fee, One Guinea. > GRANNY'S JULIET \ GRANNY'S JULIET AN IMPRESSION By HERBERT SWEARS Author of " The Whirlpool,'" " A Tight Corner," " The House of Clay," "Hero and Heroine," "The Nonsensor," "Home, Sweet Home, with Variations," " Twilight," " Wayfarers," " The Mere Man," " Such is Fame," "Two on a 'Bus," " Love and Dentistry," "Semi-detached," *' Pansy," "Too Many Cooks," "Lady Interviewer," "Day Dreams," "Cupid Astray," etc. CoPYRiGHt, 191 1, BY Samuel French, Limited New York SAMUEL FRENCH Publisher 28-30 WEST 38TH STREET London SAMUEL FRENCH, Ltd 26 Southampton Street STRAND CCI.D 24614 ntA- -i «^A"" (^ All applicaticns respecting the performance of this pla} — toth hy prcfessicnal and amateur com- paniei — must be addressed to : — Messrs.' SAMUEL FRENCH, Ltd., 26, Southampton Street, Strand, London, or their authorized agents. The fee of fifteen shilhngs for each and every amateur representation must be paid prior to per- foimances and a written authority obtained, giving permission for the production of the play. Any costumes or wigs required in the performance of " Granny's Juhet " m.ay be hired or purchased reasonably from Messrs. Chas. H. Fox, Ltd., 27, WeUington Street, Strand, London. ^^ GRANNY'S JULIET First produced by Mrs. Kendal on Tuesday, May 23, 191 1, at 47, Brook Street, W., on the occasion of H.R.H. the Duchess of Albany's Entertainment, in aid of the Deptford Fund. CHARACTERS The Countess of Milbourne Mrs. Kendal. , Mrs. Paynter . . . Miss Fay Davis. \ Muriel .... Miss Rosalie Toller^ Scene. — The small drawing-room ai Milhourner D'Arpy.- GRANNY'S JULIET ' Scene Plot ] — ^ - fj Do R.L \ f Hk o , o O X}/ • Bookcaso Table Flowet hi Of Stand ^ oh t\ IS Fire-' Sifiall' Tabid \ \% U) place ^ Armchair o\ A i n \\ Tea v^ Table '} 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 Footlights The scene is laid in the small drawing^rooM at Mil- bourne-D'Arcy. The piece, however, can be per- formed on a concert platform without curtain. Door up R. Armchair r.c, and smalt table R. of it. Sofa L.c. Occasional table, with tea equipage, in front of sofa. Fireplace L. In front of fireplace a small folding Japanese screen about two and a half feet high,, by two and a half feet wide. Flower-stand,, with plants in bloom^ L.c. at back. Table C. at back.. Book-case R.c. at back. Hangings, pictures, orna- ments, and pretty oddments everywhere. (Enter r.u.e. Mrs. Paynter, a handsome woman in her thirties. She is amiable, stupid and quite devoid 8 GRANISTY'S JULIET. of the faintest sense of humour. She crosses to sofa L. and glances at the tea equ'page. Her face softefts. She raises the lid of a dish and her smile is beatific. Mrs. Paynter. Crumpets ! Glorious ! (She calls over her shoulder.) Dear Lady Milboume — cnimpets ! Countess (heard off). Hurray ! (Countess enters, with a large pile of letters.) She^ is an attractive woman of fifty- five, full of fun and vivacity. She crosses c.) What a happy world it is ! Heaps of letters for you, dear. (Hands letters.) What a correspondent I You must spend billions in postage stamps f No wonder the Chancellor has a surplus ! You're an Inland Revenue in yourself. (Crosses to arm-chair r., retaining a letter and a tele- gram. Mrs. p. People always tell me their troubles — and so my mornings are occupied Countess. In sending pen'orths of ad\dce. Very- good of you, Laura. (Sits armchair.) Pour out the tea, there's an angel. (Mrs. Paynter deposits her letters on the, small occa- sional table, sits on sofa and pours out tea.) (Opening telegram.) I expect this is from Muriel. (Reads.) Yes. " Arriving 5.15," and it's now 5.5. (Glancing at watch bracelet.) Isn't that like her ! Fortunately I sent to m.eet her. (Taps her forehead.) What a brain ! Wliat a grandmother ! Mrs. p. No one would guess it, dear Lady Mil- boume. Countess. Laura — You're an ass ! A fierce, un- GKANNY'S JULIET. 9 bridled Filey ass ! Charmingly polite, ain't I ? '('Opens letter.) { Mrs. Paynter rises and crosses with Lady Mil- bourne's cup which slw deposits on small table R. of armchair within easy reach of her ladyship. She then recrosses to her table and fetches a covered dish of crumpets.) But if you will say such preposterous This is from Miry Ditchmgham ! Muriel's been staying with her — I hope she was a good girl. {Reads.) The Dys3n? are there I Mary says they fight hke Kilkenny cats — I knew that long ago. [Glancing at letter.) ■ You've met the Mrs. p. (offer 'ng dish). Crumpets ? Countess (shaking her head). No, not the crum- pets—the Dysons ! Mrs. p. (crossing to sofa and replacing dish on tray). The Hampshire Dysons ? Countess (disregarding question). It seems that old General Sandgate [laughs) Oh! I pould sob with laughter. Mary swears that the old-' boy (Expression changes.) What's this ? Mrs. p. (resuming her seat on sofa), ^——ox the Staffordshire Dysons ? Countess (excitedly). Oh ! Oh ! Mrs. p. The Hampshire branch (Takss a piece of crumpet.) Countess. This is too bad — too bad ! Mrs. p. (raising the piece of crumpet to her lips). What is it, dear Lady Mdbourne ? Countess. Laura, I beg — I implore you — to cease jugghng With that crumpet. Mrs. p. (regretfully replacing crumpet on her plate. You know I would do anything for you, dear Lady Milbourne. Countess. No, I only ask one thing — don't waggle crumpets at me ! Mrs. p. Has something happened ? '10 GRANNY^S JULIET. Countess. It's Muriel ! Mrs. p. She's not eloped with a dentist ? Countess. Worse ! Mrs. p. Worse ! Countess. She's been playing Juliet ! Mrs. p. (relieved). Oh! dear Lady Milboume,""I thought it was serious. Countess [gravely). It's a tragedy. Mrs. p. Well, of course ! I hope I know my Shakespeare ! Countess. My granddaughter — Juliet ! What's bred in the bone— you know the rest ! Mrs. p. Flesh, isn't it ? Countess. Milbourne would have sixteen canary fits ! Mrs. p. Canary fits \ Countess. Have you never seen a canary have hysterics behind the bars of its cage? Mrs. p. Frequently. Countess. Then you've seen Milbourne, at the mere mention of the stage ! Mrs. p. But after all, dear Lady Milbourne, he married you ! Countess. Yes, Laura, I'm quite aware that I w^as an actress— and I'm proud of it — but Milbourne isn't, he's always had a dread of Muriel followiEg in her grandmother's footsteps. Mrs. p. Still, it was only for once. Countess. Ten to one she's fallen in love with her Romeo. Mrs. p. He may be well connected. Countess. Not he i Mrs. p. And perhaps she hasn't ! Countess (angrily). Hah ! (Reading.) Mrs. p. How did it comiC about ? Countess. Mary Ditchingham has teen giving some theatricals at the Town Hall in aid of a charily, two scenes from " Romeo and Juhct " rnd a concert. It appears that the prize idiot who was to have played GRANNY'S JULIET. ^" 11 . Juliet developed mumps at the last moment — so like her !— and Muriel begged to be allowed to step into the breach. Mary Ditchingham has the calmness to add, that she hopes the girl's success will win my forgiveness. Mrs. p. Dear, dear, it's all very difficult. Countess. I've known Mary Ditchingham since she was a long-legged fright in pinafores, and I always thought her my dearest friend. Mrs. p. I confess I've always regarded her as just a teeny weeny bit of a cat. CouNTE'ss. Muriel hasn't the slightest idea that I was once a well-known actress, but she knows my wishes, and it's very naughty of her to disobey them. ; Mrs. p. Very thoughtless ! Countess. Those are the facts of the case, Laura. What would you advise ? Mrs. p. Well, it's all very difficult. ^ ; Countess. Mary Ditchingham is the chief offender. I'd hke to slap her ! [Takes up cup of tea.) Mrs. p. Perhaps I feel a tiny wee bit of sympathy for Muriel for I once contemplated the stage. Countess. Where from ? Mrs. p. I rather thought at one time — before I married Joseph , ^^ Countess. Of playing Juliet ? ^ Mrs. p. Oh ! no — variety — they call it, don't they ? , , u-i Countess. I don't know. {Drinks tea.) ^'^'■'■ Mrs. p. I interviewed a manager — such a nice person — and sang him a deliciously funny song. I remember the first two hues of the chorus — let's see ! They went — oh ! yes, of course ! {Sings in a very small voice to no tune in particular)- — "I'm a saucy httle flyer And my front name's Maria." Countess (astonished). Laura ! Oh ! Lor ! Oh ! Lor ! Oh ! Laura ! 12 " GRAKNY'S JULIET. Mrs. p. Qaite amusing, wasn't it ? Countess. Did he engage you ? Mrs. p. He didn't g3 so far as that. But w^ parted quite good friends. Countess (grimly). You were lucky ! {Puis dowrir cup.) Mrs. p. I'm immensely interested in the theatre. Countess [rises ani movss c). Of course you are ! The entire Universe is suffering from a kind of stage measles. In only one quarter do I notice a lack of appreciation. Mrs. p. (iniignantly) . And who refuses to yield this right and proper interest ? Countess [grimly). The capital invested ! Mrs. p. [blankly, not compreheniing) . Oh ! Oh ! Yes, I see. Countess. No y3u don't, Laura ! That's why you should have laughed. Always laugh when you don't understand a thing. It stamps you as a woman of intelligence ! Mrs. p. [with a forced laugh). You're so clever, dear Lady Milbourne ! Countess. No, I'm not. [Rises.) I'm a dis- tracted grandmother ! [Crosses c.) Wnat am I to say to Muriel ? I suppose I must try and be cross, and dignified, and look as if I were balancing my coronet on the top of my head. Mrs. p. Well, it's all very difficult. Countess, Ah ! you're such a comfort, Laura ! You always say the right thing. Mr's. p. [modestly). I can't help feeling sym- pathetic' It's my nature. (Muriel heard outside.) Muriel. Granny — Granny ! Countess [looking rouni at door). That's Muriel — the darling — I haven't seen her for so long — it's such a bore to have to do the Roman father ! Mrs. p. Courage, dear Lady Milbourne,! GRANNY'S JULIET. ^5 Counters. Yes ! there must be no half measures. She must never act again ! She mustn't maiTy her Romeo, and her grandfather mustn't know a word. (Muriel heard off.) Muriel. Granny, where are you ? * Countess. In here, dear ! (Muriel runs in, garbed in motor-coat and veil. She throws her arms round her grandmother' s neck. She is a young and pretty girl of from sixteen to seventeen years of age.) Muriel. Granny ! Countess (clasping her in her arms). My dear, dear child ! I'm frightfully angry with you, darling — I'm going to chastise you — ^with scorpions, you duck pot ! Muriel. You're not really cross. Granny ? Countess. I am — I'm — I'm simply bursting! Ask Laura ! Muriel (crosses in front of Countess to Mrs. Paynter). How do you do, Mrs. Paynter ? Granny's pretending, isn't she ? Mrs. p. Er Muriel. You know you can't act a bit. Granny. (Takes off motor-coat and veil and places them on table c. at back. (Mrs. Paynter poiirs out tea.) Countess. Indeed ! I suppose now you con- sider yourself a Rachel and Siddons rolled into one ! Muriel (comes down). Something a little more modern than that, I hope ! It was such fun, Granny. Countess. Who played Romeo ! Muriel. Such a dear ! (Takes cup from Mrs. Paynter and sits on sofa arm.) Countess. Naturally ! Hid he a surname ? Muriel. Warrington — Lord Hanry Warrington. Mrs. p. There, dsar Lady Milbourne ! - ■ U ORANNY'S JULIET. Countess [at back of armchair r.). There was a circus man who called himself Lord George — some- thing or other. Mrs. p. You surely know Lord Henry ? CouNTEs's, Not from Adam ! (Sits armchair.) Mrs. p. I know a member of his club quite well. Countess. Is he on the stage professionally ? Muriel. Not now. (Rises and deposits cup on . tray). He has been ! Countess. Where ? Muriel (crosses c. speaking impressively). He once played a shout — " Hurrah ! " like that — in one of Tree's productions. Countess (much impressed). What a career ! Muriel. He'd be there now, but- (Whispers mysteriously in Countess's left eatr.) Countess. Oh ! Oh ! I see ! Poor Tree jealous ! Dear, dear ! Muriel. I think I scored ! Lord Henry said my technique was wonderful ! Countess (grimly). It must have been. Muriel. Oh ! Granny, I do wish you'd been there ! (Kneels beside the Countess.) Countess. I was always very fond of Juliet. When I was a girl there was an actress of that tim.e, who won some fame in it. Curiously enough you are rather like her ! (Smooths back the girl's hair.) Muriel. I don't believe she was half as good as I was ! Countess (gasping). Well, of all the— — Muriel. Let me show you how I did it — may I, Granny ? Countess. No, no, dear, not now ! Muriel. Please, Granny ! Countess. No, no ! Muriel. Do, Granny ! Counte'ss (relenting and curious to see if the girl can act). Well, it m.ust be the last time, Muriel. You're iievej: to act again ! GRANNY'S JULIET. 15 Muriel [rises and kisses the Countess). No ' Granny ! Countess. Your grandfather would be furious. Mrs. p. (inspired). We'll have a rehearsal. Countess. What will you play, Laura--Mercutio, ■ or bloody Tybalt ! Mrs. p. (enthusiastically). I'll be the prompter! You ring a bell, don't you ? Muriel (with superior knowledge). That isn't really necessary, Mrs. Paynter. Mrs. p. Oh ! I must do it properly. Muriel (very superior). A rehearsal is an awfully serious business, Mrs. Paynter. It's g^lmost as serious as being in church. Countess. Well, aren't we serious ! Don't I look the picture of an All British Shopping Week ! Mrs. p. Where's my bell ? Countess (to Muriel). I suppose you did the Balcony scene ? Muriel. And the scene with the Nurse. Countess. What shall we do for a balcony ? (Muriel moves to fireplace l., and fetches screen.) Mrs. p. Where's my bell ? Muriel (at fireplace). This will do. Granny. Of course, it won't be a rehearsal for me, because I know my words. Countess. But can you say them ? Muriel (up c). Lord Henry thought I gave quite a new meaning to the lines :^ " And when he shall die Take him and cut him out in little stars." Countess. Oh ! Muriel. He said that Shakespeare, with his eye on the salary list, was obviously thinking of the sound economy of converting one actor into a thousand little stars. Mrs. v. Where's my bell ? 16 GRANNY'S JULIET. Countess, My dear Laura, you're like an ora- torio — Where's my b^.ll, Oh ! ruddier than the cherry, Where's my bell, Oh ! sweeter than the berry — — Mrs. p. {seriously). Is that from the " Josiah " ? Countess (takes hand h:ll from tab'e r. of armchair). Never mind ! Take your bell [crosses to sofa) and ring it, and ring it (Muriel moves to hack of armchair, r.c.) Mrs. p. By the way, when do I ring it ? Countess. When you've nothing better to do. Mrs. p.) rising and ringing hell). I like this ! It sounds quite like a professional bell. (Moves down L.) Countess. Yes — it's a bit cracked ! (Moves up c. to Muriel.) Mrs. p. Where do I sit ? Countess. Give me the balcony ! (Muriel hands screen.) Thank you. Move the tea-things, there's a dear ! (Muriel removes tea-tray from occasional table in front of sofa and places it on table up c. at hack.) Mrs. p. Where do I sit ? Countess. There is your balcony. (Places screen c.) Mrs. p. Where do I sit ? Countess. You're starting the oratorio again, Laura ! Mrs. p. Will this do ? (Indicates sofa.) Countess. You're inspired, Laura ! and your prompter's table is in front of you ! {Crosses up to hook-case r. and selects a copy of " Romeo and Juliet.") Muriel (at head of sofa). Lord Henry always Mrs. p. By the way, is he related to the Slingsby- Grimsby-Bingboroughs ? Muriel. I don't know. GRANNY'S JULIET. 17 Mrs. p. I once travelled to Ascot in the same train with the Slingsty-Grimsty-Bingboroughs. Countess (up r. with hook). New we're ready. Kneel behind the balcony, Muriel, and reit your arms on the top. That's it ! (Muriel does so, moving screen a little above sofa^ Rcund us are the greenery, and the fohage of the trees. Above are the star-lit heavens. Rorreo enters. " He jests at scars who never felt a wound." Mrs. p. {seated en sofa). Oh ! dear^Lady Milbourne I've just thought of sonittb.ng. Wiry isn't that emblazoned over the entrance of the Automiobile Club ? Countess. What ? Mrs. p. " He jests at cars who never felt a wound ! " Countess. You'd better write to the chairman. Mrs. p. I will. Countess (resumes). " He jests at scars who never felt a wound." Mrs. p. Do you mind starting again ? I forgot to ring my hell. Muriel. Well, do please be quick, Mrs. Paynter^ we shall never get on. Mr^. p. When I count three I ring — is that quite understood ? What a pretty bell this is, dear Lady Milbourne, was it an heirloom ? Countess. No, it was a bargain. Mrs. p. Did I say three or fcur ? It doesn't matter, really, whether I ring it at three or four, does it ? Countess. Not in the least. Mrs. p. Then let's say fcur ! I always think four is a m.uch more tidy num.ber than three. Muriel. We're quite ready, Mrs. Paynter. Mrs. p. Very well. It's quite excit:rg. I feel as if we had a real audience, and professional pro- gram.me sellers. [Holds up her hand for silence.) One, two, three (Rings.) No, no, wait— it was is GRANNY'S JULlEt. ' to be four. One, two, three, four ! [Rings trium^ fhantly.) There ! Countess. " He jests at scars who never felt a wound." Muriel (rising). That's not quite right, Granny. Countess (r.). Eh ? (Moves to armchair.) Muriel. Lord Henry always puts the emphasis on " Jests." Countess. Absurd ! "Scars " is the word of value. Muriel. Granny, dear, surely Lord Henry know 5 ! Countess. Nonsense ! Muriel. When I tell you that- he once played cricket with Mr. Benson ! Countess. I don't care if he played football with Martin Harvey ! He's wrong ! Muriel. What do you think, Mrs. Pay nter ? Countess. Laura agrees with me ! Mrs. p. Well, it's all very difficult. Countess. Exactly ! Get onto your balcony, Muriel, like a good Juliet. (Muriel kneels behind screen.) That's right. (Continues) — " But soft, what Hght through yonder window breaks ? It is the east and Juliet is the sun. Arise, fair sUn, and kill the envious moon Who is already sick and pale; with grief." Mrs. p. I don't hke that ! ' Oh ! No ! Do you,, dear Lady Milbourne ? it sounds bihous ! Countess. The young man's in love. (Resumes.)- So on and so on and so on, till we get to your Muriel. Cue ! Countess. ■ Of course, your cue ! — " and sails- upon the bosom of the air." Muriel. " O, Romeo, Romeo ! Wherefore art: thou, Romeo." Mrs. p. Why was he? .... :.-. Countess. Couldn't help it, poor beast ! ' "^ ^ GRANNY'S JULIET; " "" 19 Muriel. "'Deny tliy father, and refuse thy name, Or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love And I'll no longer be a Capulet." Mr'S. p. It's so odd ! I never can understand people when they talk in blank verse. Muriel. Please don't interrupt, Mrs. Paynter. Mrs. p. I'm so sorry. It was just a thought that occurred to me. Countess (quotes). " Shall I hear more, or shall I speak at this ? " Mrs. p. Oh, please go on, dear Lady Milbourne. Muriel [speaking in school-girl fashion) — " 'Tis but thy name that is rriy enemy. O, be some other name ! What's in a name ? That which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet." Mrs. p. Oh ! that's absurd ! If a rose were called a mangel-wurzel, I should hate it. Countess [to Muriel). You don't put enough heart into it, dear. Good heavens ! Imagine that I "am a gloriously lovely young 'man, with a face like Apollo. The night is soft and balmy and full of fragrance. Let your voice quiver to your thoughts — don't speak the lines as if you were ordering lobsters ! Muriel {rises)i But how am I to say them, Granny ? Countess {behind armchair). My dear child, if ydu really feel the scene, you can't help it ! (Quotes) " O, be some other name, What's in a name ? That which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet." Muriel. Why, Granny, who taught you to speak blank verse ? Countess (hastily). Oh ! I learnt how years ago/ when — ^when I was a girl ; somehow the time seems very near to-day. ._ 20 GRANNY'S JULIET. _/^ ' - Muriel. More, please, Granny ! Counte!ss (thoughtfully). No, no, I'm forgetting. This is not the orchard that I knew. The hues are Tusset. The blossoms no longer nestle on the branches. Muriel (quotes). " O, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied ? " Countess (quotes). *' What satisfaction can'st thou have to-night ? " Muriel (quotes). *' The exchange of thy love's faithful vow for mine." {She makes a movement and knocks over screen.) Countess. Darling ! You mustn't bring down i:he house ! It isn't fair on the other actors ! Mrs. p. I think Juliet had such a fine character. She never, never gave a thought as to whether the balcony was se-cure. Muriel. Granny, you know, it's awfully difficult to play this scene without a proper Rcmeo ! CoLNTESS. Gccd heavens, aren't / proper ! Muriel. You're a dear, hut you're not CciisiESS. I knew! I'm not srfficiently specta- cular! That's to say, I ccn't drive six motor-cars at once, and colour n y cheeks to ir.atch my window- boxes. Muriel. I was going to say — you're not a man, dear. Countess. No ! New I ccm.e to think of it, I suppose I'm not. It's just one of those trifles that we forget at times. Well, as I'm not allowed to be a man, or to play Rcm.eo, or to have a vote, or drive an cm:nibus, what dm I to do ? Muriel. Be the Nurse, Granny ! Countess. Ah ! It always reverts to that ! Well, since we can play the part a thousand times better than any man let's snap our fingers at the wretches and let them see that here at any rate we can act them cff the stage. GRANNY'S JULIET. 21^ (Muriel replaces screen in front of fireplace, l.) Mrs. p. I do hope I shall remember to tell Joseph I Counters (moves armchair a little to c). And sa I'll play the Nurse ! In this instance an aged dame, suffering from sciatica'' and deferred wages. (Groans and sits) — " Ah ! my back, my back ! What a coil is here." Mrs. p. (with great intelligence). You didn't quite finish the Balcony scene, did you ? Countess. There were just a few blanks, not con- tained in the verse ! Mrs. p. I thought so ! (Proudly.) I know my Shakespeare ! Countess. We've taken out a poet's Hcence and shot ourselves into the Nurse and Juliet scene. Mrs. p. But I haven't rung my bell. CouNTEsls. Good gracious! Never mind. Ring it now. Mi^s. P. Let's see ! Do I count three or four ? Countess. My dear Laura, you don't count at all, you're the prompter ! Mrs. p. (disregarding the Countess's remark). It was four ! Of course ! I knew it was either three or four. Now then, one, two, three, four. (Rings.) Muriel. " Now, Nurse, what news ? What hast thou there ? The cords That Romeo bid thee fetch ? " Countess. "Ay, ay, the cords." Muriel. " Ay me, what news ? Why dost thoii wring thy '" — (Mrs. Paynter rings hell.) No— no! "Hands"! Countes's. " Ah ! well a day ! he's dead, he's dead, he's dead. L We ^re undone, lady, we are undone ! "^ 22 ^' GRANNY'S JULIET. Mrs. p. {reassuringly). Oh, no, dear Lady Mil- bourne, you're mistaken. Muriel {turning to Mrs. Paynter, and savagely quoting) — " What devil art thou that dost torment me thus ? This torture should be roared in dismal hell ! " (Mrs. Paynter rings bell.) No, " hell "— not bell. ] Mrs. p. Oh ! I beg your pardon. 1 ^ Muriel {addressing Countess). " Vile earth to earth resign and motion here And thou and Romeo press one heavy bier." Mrs. p. Beer ! Singular ! Muriel {turns). Oh ! Mrs. Paynter, please don't interrupt. Mrs. p. {with some asperity). I didn't know that intelligent criticism was called interruption. Countess {quotes). — " On horror's head horrors accumulate. Do deeds to make heaven weep, all earth amazed^ For nothing can'st thou to damnation add, ^ Greater than that." Mrs. p. {huffily). Very well ! I won't say another word — oh ! no ! — not one ! Muriel. Thank you, ever so much ! Granny, do you remember the speech beginning " Gallop apace, you fiery-footed steeds " ? Countess {still seated in armchair) . Do I remember ? Am I ever likely to forget ? {As the old memories come flooding back, the actress becomes inspired and the Juliet of years ago once more appears before the audience.) Will any orchard ever seem so fair, as that first orchard of the Capulets ? Will any eyes gaze quite so tenderly as my first Romeo's ? Will ever breeze '"-^•^ -. - GRANNY'S JULIET. -—.--■- ^^ blow softly from the West as that night's silken rustle in the wings. Do I remember ? Ah ! yes, surely, I see a young girl stepping lightly on the stage. Her face I seem to know. In her ears is sounding that most exquisite of music — the people's welcome ! Thpse unknown friends hold out dear hands to take her to their hearts — because they love her ! They give her that priceless gift of sympathy, without which an artist cannot breathe. And then she speaks ! The voice has a familiar ring and I can almost hear the wild beating of her heart, and the little sob of anxiety, as she begins. The play moves on. She meets her Romeo, they love with all their pure young hearts. Then the shadows fall. " Come, night, come, Romeo, come thou day in night ; For thou wilt lie upon the wings of night Whiter than new snow on a raven's back ! Come, gentle night, come, loving black-browed night, Give me my Romeo." Muriel. Granny, who was your first Juliet ? Counte'ss. She is now a very old woman, dear. Muriel. I should have loved her ! Countess. Your grandfather loved her ! Muriel. You. Granny ! Oh ! and I never knew. {Hugs her grandmother.) I never knew ! Countess. You must never speak of it, dear. It's the only secret I've ever had, and of course, I haven't kept it ! Muriel. I won't tell ! (Kneels by her grand- mother's chair,) Countess. The Juliet of the past and the Juliet of the present ! I wonder — I wonder if your Romeo was as captivating as mine ! Muriel {softly). He looked — he looked Countess. I'm sure he did, and would it make some o^ne happy, if I asked him to tea ? JUL \ J9li ?4 ^ ^ GRANNY'S JULIET. Muriel (in a whisper). Yes. Countess. Well, we must ask Laura ! [Rises .and moves across with Muriel to Mrs. Paynter.) She is ever ready with wise counsel. What do you say, Laura ! Am I to ask this paragon to tea ? Mrs. p. {pauses). Well, it's all very difficult. Countess. That settles it. He shall come next Tuesday. Muriel. Thank you, Granny. {Kisses the Coun- tess, moves up and fetches hat and coat from table up c.) Countess. You haven't looked at your letters, Laura ! Mrs. p. Ah ! no, they are often heart-rending ! I must read them in the privacy of my room. Countess. Come along then, we must dress for dinner. Bring your things, Muriel, there's a good girl. (Muriel brings her hat and motor-coat and gets R. of Countess. Mrs. Paynter gathers up her letters. The Countess puts her arm round Muriel's waist, and links an arm in Mrs. Paynter's.) my Granny's Juliet ! {Whimsically.) I'm sure Romeo had the best shaped nose ! Muriel {indignantly). Oh ! Granny\' That's too bad ! He , Countess. Hush ! dear. Is^o more acting, please ! Remember that like Sir Peter Teazle, we leave our characters , behind us ! (Exeunt.) (Curtain. i K One copy del. to Cat. Div. JUL 1 \Si\ •-uce, -rge p >ury. Is. 6d. net Edition. Adventure of Lady Ursula Mr. Preedy and the Countess AU-of-a-Sudden Peggy Naked Truth An American Citizen New Boy Beauty and the Barge Niobe Billy's Little Love Affair Oh ! Susannah . Brace of Partridges One Summer's Day Brixton Burglary Parvenu Captain Swift Passport Cassilis Engagement Perfect Lover Charity that Began at Home Peter's Mother Country Mouse Pilkerton's Peerage Dr. Wake's Patient Private Secretary Du' e of Killicrankie Return of the Prodigal Facing the Music Rocket Fascinating Mr. Vanderveldt Royal Family Idler Second in Command Importance of Being Earnest Sir Anthony In Chancery Snug Little Kingdom Jedbury Junior [ment Squire Lady Huntworth's Experi- Strange Adventures of Miss Lady Windermere's Fan Brown Liberty Hall Sunlight and Shadow Lucky Miss Dean Two Mr. Wetherbys Marriage of Kitty Walker, London Mice and Men Walls of Jericho Miss Ehzabeth's Prisoner When We were Twenty-One Miss Hobbs Wilderness MoUentrave on Women Wisdom of Folly Mr. Hopkinson Woodbarrow Farm 2s. 6d. net Li brary Edition. Barrier Liars ier of Bridges Manoeuvres of Jane jf Rebellious Susan Masqueraders of Illusion Middleman ing Girl MoUentrave on Women lating Mr. Vanderveldt Mrs. Dane's Defence Hypocrites Perfect Lover a Glayde's" Honour Silver King )h Entangled : Walls of Jericho FRENCH'S ACTING EDITION VOLUME 150 2236 The Dentist 2237 Taken for Granted 2238 Just as Well 2239 Hogmany 2240 Pansy [ments 2241 A Doctor's Engage- 2242 A Duet 2243 My Milliner's Bill, Is. 2244 My Aunt from Cali- fornia 2245 His Life for Hers 2246 The Meeting 2247 The Umbrella Duologue 2248 The Late Lamented 2249 Woman Triumphant 2250 AngeUna's Lover VOLUME 151 2251 Chrysanthemums 2252 My First Client 2263 Punctured 2-i54 Old Pals 2255 Honeymoon Tragedy 2256 Commission [man 2257 Hal, the Highway- 2258 Dinner for Two 2259 Ninth Waltz 2260 Human Sport 2261 Collaborators 2262 Mere Man 2263 Packing Up 2264 Paying Guest 2265 'Enery Brown VOLUME 152 2266 The Jilt 2267 'Op-o'-Me-Thumb 2268 A Marriage Has B2en Arranged 2269 Carrots [Sturge 2270 Conversion of Nat 2271 Clerical Error 2272 Aubrey Closes the 2273 Workbox [Door 2274 Two on a 'Bus 2275 Bridget's Blunders 2276 That Brute Simmons 2277 Well Matched 2278 Maker of Men 2279 Gutter of Time 2280 Game of Chess VOLUME 153 2281 Mr. Steinmann's Corner 2282 Ella's Apology 2283 Colour Sergeant 2284 Helpless Couple 2285 First Aid to the Wounded 2286 Correct Thing 2287 Their New Paying Guest [ment 2288 Domestic Entangle- 2289 Salt of Life 2290 Time is Money 2291 Wally and the Widow [Smiths 2292 Deceitful MLss 2293 Holly Tree Inn 2294 Up-to-date 2295^Bit of Old Chelsea 7s. per Vol., mostly 6d. each. VOLUME 154 2296 Wronor a.vi- -' 2 LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 2344 Teetti of the Gift spoke 23 2304 Acacia Cottage 2305 Fabricato 2306 Compromising Martha 2307 Rest Cure 2308 Misses Primrose's Deception 2303 Ejection of Aunt Lucinda 2310 Uncle Dick's Darling VOLUME 155 2311 That Horrid Major 2312 Bardwell v. Pick- wick [gales 2313 House of Nightin- 2314 Turtle Doves [der 2315 Superior Miss Pelien- 2316 His Good Genius 2317 Martha Plays the Fairy 2318 Dumb Cake 2319 Proposing by Proxy 2320 Phoenix 2321 Boatswain's Mate 2322 Final Rehears-il 2323 Two Aunts at a Time 2324 Nelson Touch 2325 Convict on the Hearth VOLUME 156 2326 Grey Parrot 2327 Ghost of Jerry Bundler 2328 Bishop's Candle- sticks 2329 Peacemaker 2330 Changeling 23'Jl Wire Entanglement 2332 Pride of Kegiraent 2333 " 1588" 2334 Man on the Kerb 2335 O'Dowd 2336 Impertinence of the Creature 2337 Dramatist at Home 2338 Martha the Sooth- sayer. 2339 Old Martha, 1». [1«. 2340 AU Through Martha VOLUME 157 2341 Men who Loved Mamie 2342 Fanny and the Ser- vant Problem 2343 Come Michaelmas 2356 The Visit 2357 A Well Matched Pair 2358 For Lack of Evi- dence 2359 Little Mrs. Cummin 2360 A Tight Corner 2361 Dear Departed 2362 Pipers Pay 2363 Her Vote 2364 The Electric Man 2365 At the Golden Goose 2366 Her Dearest Friend 2367 Love in a Railway Train 2368 Make Believe 2369 Pick of Oakham 2370 Highwayman VOLUME 159 2371 What Would a Gen- tleman Do ? 2372 An Excellent Receipt 2373 Parents' Progress 2374 Younger Generation, Is. 2375 Three Blind Mice (Law) 2376 Laughter in Court 2377 Pot Luck 2378 Independent Means, Is. 2379 Duchess of Doherty Court 2380 Wiles of the Widow 2381 The Mobswoman 2382 An Imaginary Aunt 2383 Lady Flora's Name- sake 2384 What Charity Covers 2385 Patty Packs a Bag VOLUME 160 2386 The Oak Settle 2387 Scaring OfiE of Teddy Dawson 2388 The First Locust 2389 The Cigarette Maker's Romance, Is. 2390 Company for George And Between the Soup and the Savoury.