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X]E CDMTIE AlTTr)Il^iF, IIAIMIILTO J!^^ 
 
MEMOIRS OF 
 
 COUNT GRAMMONT 
 
 BY ANTHONY HAMILTON, c 
 
 G^T>-<a.-aA- 
 
 EDITED, WITH NOTES, BY SIR WALTER SCOTT. 
 
 NEW EDITION, WITH SIXTY-FOUR PORTRAITS ENGRAVED 
 BY EDWARD SCRIVEN. 
 
 BICKERS AND 
 
 c/^T- i 
 

 TRANSS'lE 
 . O. PUXLIC LIBJEUBY 
 SjaPT. 1«. 1640 
 
BIOGRAPHICAL SKETCH 
 
 OF 
 
 ANTHONY HAMILTON 
 
 < ' \ inthony Hamilton, the celebrated author of the Grammont* 
 JVJ ' aoirs, much cannot now be with certainty known. The 
 accounts prefixed to the different editions of his works, down 
 to the year 1805, are very imperfect; in that year a new, and, 
 in general, far better edition than any of the preceding ones, 
 was published in Paris, to which a sketch of his life was also 
 added ; but it contains rather just criticisms on his works, than 
 any very novel or satisfactory anecdote concerning himself. It 
 is not pretended here to gratify literary curiosity as fully as it 
 ought to be, mth regard to this singular and very ingenious 
 man ; some effort, however, may he made to communicate a 
 few more particulars relative to him, than the public has 
 hitherto, perhaps, been acquainted with. 
 
 Anthony Hamilton was of the noble family of that name : 
 
 * For uniformity's sake the writer of this sketch has followed the 
 Memoirs in the spelling of this name ; hut he thinks it necessary to 
 observe that it should be Gi'amont, not Grammont. 
 
IV BIOGRAPHICAL SKETCH OF 
 
 Sir George Hamilton, his father, was a younger son of James, 
 Earl of Abercorn, a native of Scotland. His mother was 
 daughter of Lord Thurles, and sister to James, the first Duke 
 of Ormond ; his family and connections therefore, on the mater- 
 nal side, were entirely Irish. He was, as well as his brothers 
 and sisters, born in Ireland, it is generally said, about the year 
 1646 ; but there is some reason to imagine that it was three 
 or four years earlier. The place of his birth, according to the 
 best family accounts, was Eoscrea, in the county of Tipperary, 
 the usual residence of his father when not engaged by military 
 or pubKc business."^ It has been always said, that the -family 
 migrated to France when Anthony was an infant ; but this is 
 not the fact : " Sir George Hamilton," says Carte, " would have 
 accompanied his brother-in-law, the Marquis of Ormond, to 
 France, in December, 1650 : but, as he was receiver-general in 
 Ireland, he stayed to pass his accounts, which he did to the 
 satisfaction of all parties, notwithstanding much clamour had 
 been raised against him." When that business was settled, 
 he, in the spring of 1651, took Lady Hamilton and all his 
 family to France, and resided with Lord and Lady Ormond, 
 near Caen, in Normandy,-|- in great poverty and distress, till 
 the Marchioness of Ormond, a lady whose mind was as exalted 
 as her birth, went over to England, and, after much solicita- 
 
 * In September, 1646, Owen O'Neale took Eoscrea, and, as Carte 
 says, " put man, woman, and child to the sword, except 8ir George 
 Hamilton's lady, sister to the Marquis of Ormond, and some few 
 gentlewomen whom he kept prisoners." No family suffered more in 
 those disastrous times than the house of Ormond. Lady Hamilton died 
 in August, 1680, as appears from an interesting and affecting letter of 
 her brother, the Duke of Ormond, dated Carrick, August 25th. He 
 had lost his noble son, Lord Ossory, not three weeks before. 
 
 f Hence possibly Voltaire's mistake in stating that Hamilton was 
 born at Caen, in his Catalogue des Ec7-ivains dii Siecle de Louis XIV. 
 
ANTHONY HAMILTON. V 
 
 tion, obtained two thousand pounds a-year from her own 
 and her husband's different estates in Ireland. This favour 
 was granted her by Cromwell, who always professed the great- 
 est respect for her. The Marchioness resided in Ireland, with 
 the younger part of her family, from 1655 till after the Eesto- 
 ration ; while the Marquis of Ormond continued for a con- 
 siderable part of that period with his two sisters, Lady Clan- 
 carty and Lady Hamilton, at the Feuillatines, in the Faubourg 
 St. Jacques, in Paris. 
 
 It appears from a letter of the Marquis to Sir Eobert South- 
 well, that, although he himself was educated in the Protestant 
 religion, not only his father and mother, but all his brothers 
 and sisters, were bred, and always continued, Eoman Catholics. 
 Sir George Hamilton also, according to Carte,^ was a Eoman 
 Catholic ; Anthony, therefore, was bred in the religion of his 
 family, and conscientiously adhered to it through life. He 
 entered early into the army of Louis XIV., as did his brothers 
 George, Eichard, and John, the former of whom introduced the 
 company of English gens d'armes into France, in 1667, accord- 
 ing to Le Pere Daniel, author of the History of the French 
 Army, who adds the following short account of its establish- 
 ment : Charles II., being restored to his throne, brought over 
 to England several catholic officers and soldiers, who had 
 served abroad with him and his brother, the Duke of York, 
 and incorporated them with his guards ; but the parliament 
 having obliged him to dismiss all officers who were Catholics, 
 the king permitted George Hamilton to take such as were 
 willing to accompany him to France, where Louis XIV. formed 
 
 * That historian states that the king (Charles I.) deprived several 
 papists of their military commissions, and, among others, Sir George 
 Hamilton, who, notwithstanding, served him with loyalty and unvary- 
 ing fidelity. 
 
VI BIOGRAPHICAL SKETCH OF 
 
 tliem into a company of gens d'armes, and being highly pleased 
 with them, became himself their captain, and made George 
 Hamilton their captain-lieutenant."^ Whether Anthony be- 
 longed to this corps I know not; but this is certain, that he 
 distinguished liimself particularly in his profession, and was 
 advanced to considerable posts in the French service.-|- 
 
 Anthony Hamilton's residence was now almost constantly 
 in France. Some years previous to this he had been much in 
 England, and, towards the close of Charles II. 's reign, in Ire- 
 land, where so many of his connections remained, { When 
 James II. succeeded to the throne, the door being then opened 
 to the Roman Catholics, he entered into the Irish army, where 
 we find him, in 1686, a lieutenant-colonel in Sir Thomas IN'ew- 
 comen's regiment. That he did not immediately hold a higher 
 rank there, may perhaps be attributed to the recent accession 
 of the king, his general absence from Ireland, the advanced 
 age of his uncle, the Duke of Ormond, and, more than all, per- 
 haps, to his Grace's early disapprobation of James's conduct 
 in Ireland, which displayed itself more fully afterwards, espe- 
 cially in the ecclesiastical promotions. 
 
 Henry, Earl of Clarendon, son to the lord-chancelLor, was 
 at that time lord-heutenant of Ireland, and appears, notwith- 
 standing his general distrust and dislike of the Catholics, to 
 have held Anthony Hamilton in much estimation : he speaks 
 of his knowledge of, and constant attention to, the duties of 
 
 * They were composed of English, Scotch, and Irish. 
 
 t It is not to be forgotten that, at this time, John Churchill, after- 
 wards Duke of Marlborough, served under Marshal Turenne, in the 
 same army. 
 
 X Hamilton had three sisters : the Countess of Grammont ; another 
 married to Matthew Forde, Esq., of the county of Wexford ; and 
 another to Sir- Donogh O'Brien, ancestor to the present Sir Edward 
 O'Brien, — a branch of the Thomond family. 
 
ANTHONY HAMILTON. Vll 
 
 his profession ; his probity, and the dependance that was to be 
 placed on him, in preference to others of the same religious 
 persuasion, and, in October, 1686, wrote to the Earl of Sunder- 
 land respecting him, as follows : " I have only this one thing 
 more to trouble your lordship with at present, concerning 
 Colonel Anthony Hamilton, to get him a commission to com • 
 mand as colonel, though he is but lieutenant-colonel to Sir 
 Thomas ISTewcomen, in regard of the commands he has had 
 abroad : and I am told it is often done in France, which makes 
 me hope it will not be counted an unreasonable request. I 
 would likewise humbly recommend to make Colonel Anthony 
 Hamilton a privy-councillor here.""^ Lord Clarendon's recom- 
 mendations were ultimately successful : Hamilton was made 
 a privy-councillor in Ireland, and had a pension of £200 a 
 year on the Irish establishment ; and was appointed governor 
 of Limerick, in the room of Sir William King, notwithstand- 
 ing he had strongly opposed the new-modelling of the army 
 by the furious Tyrconnel. In the brief accounts which have 
 been given of his life, it is said that he had a regiment of in- 
 fantry ; but, though this is very probable, there is no mention 
 whatever of his commanding a regiment in the lists published 
 of King James's army, which are supposed to be very accu- 
 rate : he is indeed set down among the general officers. Lord 
 Clarendon, in one of his letters to the lord-treasurer, states, 
 " That the news of the day was, that Colonel Eussell was to 
 be lieutenant-colonel to the Duke of Ormond's regiment, and 
 that Colonel Anthony Hamilton was to have Eussell's regi- 
 ment, and that Mr. Luttrell was to be lieutenant-colonel to 
 Sir Thomas Newcomen, in the place of Anthony Hamilton."-]- 
 It is not known whether Anthony was present at the battle 
 
 * Chapel-lzod, July 11, 1686. 
 
 t Dublin Castle, October 23, 1686. ' 
 
vm BIOGEAPHICAL SKETCH OF 
 
 of the Boyne, or of Aughrim : his brother John was killed at 
 the latter ; and Eichard, who was a lieutenant-general, led on 
 the cavalry with uncommon gallantry and spirit at the Boyne : 
 it is to be wished that his candour and integrity had equalled 
 his courage ; but he acted with great duplicity ; and King 
 William's contemptuous echoing back his word to him, when 
 he declared something on his honour, is well known."^ He is 
 frequently mentioned by Lord Clarendon, but by no means 
 with the same approbation as his brother. After the total 
 overthrow of James's affairs in Ireland, the two brothers finally 
 quitted these kingdoms, and retired to France. Kichard lived 
 much with the Cardinal de Bouillon, who was the great pro- 
 tector of the Irish in France, and kept (what must have been 
 indeed highly consolatory to many an emigrant of condition) 
 a magnificent table, which has been recorded in the most glow- 
 ing and gTateful terms, by that gay companion, and celebrated 
 lover of good cheer, Philippe de Coulanges, who occasionally 
 mentions the " amiable Eichard Hamilton "-|- as one of the car- 
 dinal's particular intimates. Anthony, who was regarded par- 
 ticularly as a man of letters and elegant talents, resided almost 
 entirely at St. Germain : solitary walks in the forest of that 
 place occupied his leisure hours in the morning ; and poetical 
 pursuits, or agreeable society, engaged the evening : but much 
 of his time seems to have rolled heavily along ; his sister, 
 Madame de Grammont, living more at court, or in Paris, than 
 always suited his inclinations or his convenience. His great 
 resource at St. Germain was the family of the Duke of Ber- 
 wick (son of James II.) : that nobleman appears to have been 
 amiable in private life, and his attachment to Hamilton was 
 steady and sincere. The Duchess of Berwick was also his 
 
 * This anecdote has been erroneously recorded of Anthony. 
 + So Coulanges calls him. 
 
ANTHONY HAMILTON. IX 
 
 friend. It is necessary to mention this lady particularly, as 
 well as her sisters : they were the daughters of Henry Bulkeley, 
 son to the first viscount of that name : their father had been 
 master of the household to Charles : their mother was Lady 
 Sophia Stewart, sister to the beautiful Duchess of Eichmond, 
 so conspicuous in the Grammont Memoirs. The sisters of the 
 Duchess of Berwick were Charlotte, married to Lord Clare,* 
 Henrietta, and Laura. They all occupy a considerable space 
 in Hamilton's correspondence, and the two last are the ladies 
 so often addressed as the Mademoiselles B. ; they are almost 
 the constant subjects of Hamilton's verses ; and it is recorded 
 that he was a particular admirer of Henrietta Bulkeley ; but 
 their union would have been that of hunger and thirst, for both 
 were very poor and very illustrious : their junction would, of 
 course, have militated against every rule of common prudence. 
 To the influence of this lady, particularly, we are indebted for 
 one or two of Hamilton's agreeable novels: she had taste 
 enough to laugh at the extravagant stories then so much in 
 fashion, " plus arabes qu'en Arabie,""|- as Hamilton says ; and 
 he, in compliance with her taste, and his own, soon put the 
 fashionable tales to flight, by the publication of the Quatre 
 Facardins, and, more especially. La Fleur dJRpine. Some 
 of the introductory verses to these productions are written with 
 peculiar ease and grace ; and are highly extolled, and even 
 imitated, by Voltaire. La Harpe praises the Fleur d'Fpine, 
 as the work of an original genius : I do not think, however, 
 that they are much relished in England, probably because very 
 ill translated. Another of his literary productions was the 
 
 * (O'Brien) ancestor to Marshal Thomond. Lord Clare was killed at 
 the battle of Eamillies. 
 
 t They were wretched imitations of some of the Persian and Arabian 
 tales, in which everything was distorted, and rendered absurd and pre- 
 posterous. 
 
X BIOGRAPHICAL SKETCH OF 
 
 novel called Le Belier, which he wrote on the following occa- 
 sion : Louis XIV. had presented to the Countess of Grammont 
 (whom he higiily esteemed) a remarkably elegant small country 
 house in the park of Versailles: this house became so fashion- 
 able a resort, and brought such constant visitors,* that the 
 Count de Grammont said, in his usual way, he would present 
 the king with a list of all the persons he was obliged to enter- 
 tain there, as more suited to his Majesty's purse than his own: 
 the countess wished to change the name of the place from the 
 vulgar appellation of Le Moulineau into that of Pentalie : and 
 Hamilton, in his novel, wrote a history of a giant, an enchant- 
 ment, and a princess, to commemorate her resolution. It has 
 however happened that the giant Moulineau has had the ad- 
 vantage in the course of time ; for the estate, which is situated 
 near Meudon, upon the Seine, retains its original and popular 
 designation. 
 
 About the year 1704, Hamilton turned his attention to col- 
 lecting the memoirs of his brother-in-law, the Count de Gram- 
 mont, as we may conjecture, from the epistle beginning, 
 " Honneur des rives eloignees ''f being written towards the 
 close of the above year : it is dated, or supposed to be so, from 
 the banks of the Garonne. Among other authors whom 
 Hamilton at first proposes to Grammont, as capable of writing 
 his life (though, on reflection, he thinks them not suited to it), 
 
 * Le bel air de la cour est d'aller a la jolie maison, que le roi a donnee 
 a la Comtesse de Gramont dans le Pare de Versailles. C'est tellement 
 la mode, que c'est uue honte de n'y avoir pas ete. La Comtesse de 
 Gramont se porte tres-bien : il est certain que le roi la traite a mer- 
 veille. Paris, le 5 Aout, 1703." — Lettre de Madame de Coulanges a 
 Madame de Grignan. 
 
 t A translation of this epistle, which is a complete sketch of the 
 Grammont Memoirs, is subjoined to this Biographical Sketch of the 
 Author. 
 
ANTHONY HAMILTON. XI 
 
 ivS Boileau, whose genius lie professes to admire ; but adds that 
 his muse has somewhat of malignity ; and that such a muse 
 might caress with one hand and satirize him with the other. 
 This letter was sent by Hamilton to Boileau, who answered 
 him with great politeness ; but, at the same time that he highly 
 extolled the epistle to Grammont, he, very naturally, seemed 
 anxious to efface any impression which such a representation 
 of his satiric vein might make on the Count's mind, and ac- 
 cordingly added a few complimentary verses to him : this let- 
 ter is dated, Paris, 8th February, 1705. About the same time, 
 another letter was written to Hamilton on the subject of the 
 Epistle to Grammont, by La Chapelle, who also seemed desi- 
 rous that his life should be given to the public, but was much 
 perplexed wliich of the most celebrated ancients to compare 
 the count to. Mecsenas first presented himself to his imagi- 
 nation : absurdly enough, in my opinion ; for there was not a 
 trace of similitude between the two characters. This, however, 
 afforded him some opportunity, as he thought, of discovering 
 a resemblance between Horace and Hamilton, in which he 
 equally failed. Petronius is then brought forward, as affording 
 some comparison to the Count ; — a man of pleasure, giving up 
 the day to sleep, and the night to entertainment ; but then, 
 adds La Chapelle, it will be suggested that, such is the per- 
 petual activity of the Count of Grammont's mind, he may be 
 said to sleep neither night nor day ; and if Petronius died, the 
 Count seems determined never to die at all. (He was at this 
 time about eighty-five years of age.) It may well be supposed 
 that all this, though now perfectly vapid and uninteresting, 
 was extremely flattering to Grammont ; and the result was, 
 that he very much wished to have his life, or part of it, at 
 least, given to the public. Hamilton, who had been so long 
 connected with him, and with whose agreeable talents he was 
 
XU BIOGRAPHICAL SKETCH OF 
 
 now SO familiarized, was, on every account, singled out by him 
 as the person who could best introduce him historically to the 
 public. It is ridiculous to mention Grammont as the author 
 of his own Memoirs : his excellence, as a man of wit, was en- 
 tirely limited to conversation. Bussy Eabutin, who knew him 
 perfectly, states that he wrote almost worse than any one. If 
 this was said, and very truly, of him in his early days, it can 
 hardly be imagined that he would, when between eighty and 
 ninety years of age, commence a regular, and, in point of style, 
 most finished composition. Besides, independent of everything 
 else, what man would so outrage all decorum as to call him- 
 self the admiration of the age ? for so is Grammont extolled 
 in the Memoirs, with a variety of other encomiastic expres- 
 sions ; although, perhaps, such vanity has not been without 
 example. Hamilton, it is true, says that he acts as Grammont's 
 secretary, and only holds the pen, whilst the Count dictates to 
 him such particulars of his life as were the most singular, and 
 least known. This is said with great modesty, and, as to part 
 of the work, perhaps with great truth : it requires, however, 
 some explanation. Grammont was more than twenty years 
 older than Hamilton ; consequently, the earlier part of his life 
 could only have been known, or was best known, to the latter 
 from repeated conversations, and the long intimacy which sub- 
 sisted between them. Wliether Grammont formally dictated 
 the events of his younger days, or not, is of little consequence : 
 from his general character, it is probable that he did not. How- 
 ever, the whole account of such adventures as he was engaged 
 in, from his leaving home to his interview with Cardinal Maza- 
 rin (excepting the character of Monsieur de Senantes, and 
 Matta, who was well known to Hamilton), the relation of the 
 siege of Lerida, the description of Gregorio Brice, and the in- 
 imitable discovery of his own magnificent suit of clothes on 
 
ANTHONY HAMILTON. XIU 
 
 the ridiculous bridegroom at Abbeville ; all such particulars 
 must have been again and again repeated to Hamilton by 
 Grammont, and may therefore be fairly grounded on the 
 count's authority. The characters of the court of Charles II., 
 and its history, are to be ascribed to Hamilton : from Ms resi- 
 dence, at various times, in the court of London, his connection 
 with the Ormond family, not to mention others, he must have 
 been weU acquainted with them. Lady Chesterfield, who may 
 be regarded almost as the heroine of the work, was his cousin- 
 german.* But, although the history altogether was written 
 by Hamilton, it may not perhaps be known to every reader 
 that Grammont himself sold the manuscript for fifteen hundred 
 livres ; and when it was brought to Fontenelle, then censor of 
 the press, he refused to license it, from respect to the character 
 of the Count, which, he thought, was represented as that of a 
 gambler, and an unprincipled one too. In fact, Grammont, like 
 many an old gentleman, seems to have recollected the gaieties 
 of his youth with more complaisance than was necessary, and 
 has drawn them in prgtty strong colours in that part of the 
 work which is more particularly liis own. He laughed at poor 
 Fontenelle's scruples, and complained to the chancellor, who 
 forced the censor to acquiesce : the license was granted, and the 
 Count put the whole of the money, or the best part of it, in his 
 pocket, though he acknowledged the work to be Hamilton's. 
 This is exactly correspondent to his general character : when 
 money was his object, he had little, or rather no delicacy. 
 
 The History of Grammont may be considered as unique : 
 there is nothing Like it in any language. For drollery, 
 knowledge of the world, various satire, general utility, 
 united with great vivacity of composition, Gil Bias is 
 
 * She was born at the castle of Kilkenny, July, 1640, as appears from 
 Carte's life of her father, the Duke of Ormond. 
 
XIV BIOGRAPHICAL SKETCH OF 
 
 ■unrivalled: but, as a merely agreeable book, tlie Memoirs 
 of Grammont perhaps deserve that character more than any 
 which was ever written : it is pleasantry throughout, and 
 pleasantry of the best sort, unforced, graceful, and engaging. 
 Some French critic has justly observed, that, if any book 
 were to be selected as affording the truest specimen of perfect 
 French gaiety, the Memoirs of Grammont would be selected 
 in preference to all others. This has a Frenchman said of the. 
 work of a foreigner : but that foreigner possessed much 
 genius, had lived from his youth, not only in the best society 
 of France, but with the most singular and agreeable man that 
 France could produce. Still, however, though Grammont 
 and Hamilton were of dispositions very different, the latter 
 must have possessed talents peculiarly brilliant, and admirably 
 adapted to coincide with, and display those of his brother- 
 in-law to the utmost advantage. Gibbon extols the " ease 
 and purity of Hamilton's inimitable style ;" and in this he 
 is supported by Voltaire, although he adds the censure, that 
 the Grammont Memoirs are, in point of materials, the most 
 trifling ; he might also in truth have said, the most improper. 
 The manners of the court of Charles II. were, to the utmost, 
 profligate and abandoned : yet in what colours have they 
 been drawn by Hamilton ? The elegance of his pencil has 
 rendered them more seductive and dangerous, than if it had 
 more faithfully copied the originals. From such a mingled 
 mass of grossness of language, and of conduct, one would 
 have turned away with disgust and abhorrence ; but Hamil- 
 ton was, to use the words of his admirer, Lord Orford, 
 "superior to the indelicacy of the court," whose vices he 
 has so agreeably depicted ; and that superiority ha& sheltered 
 such vices from more than half the oblivion which would 
 now have for ever concealed them. 
 
ANTHONY HAMILTON. XY 
 
 The Count de Grammont died in 1707. Some years after 
 the publication of his Memoirs, Hamilton was engaged in a 
 very different work : he translated Pope's Essay on Criticism 
 into French, and, as it should seem, so much to that great 
 poet's satisfaction, that he wrote a very polite letter of thanks 
 to him, which is inserted in Pope's Correspondence. Hamil- 
 ton's Essay was, I believe, never printed, though Pope 
 warmly requested to have that permission : the reign of 
 Louis XIV. had now ceased; and, for several years before 
 his death, the character of the old court of that prince had 
 ceased also : profligacy and gaiety had given way to devotion 
 and austerity. Of Hamilton's friends and literary acquaint- 
 ance few were left : the Duke of Berwick was employed in 
 the field, or at Versailles : some of the ladies, however, con- 
 tinued at St. Germain; and in their society, particularly 
 that of his niece, the Countess of Stafford (in whose name 
 he carried on a lively correspondence with Lady Mary Wort- 
 ley Montague), he passed much of his time. He occasion- 
 ally indulged in poetical compositions, of a style suited to 
 his age and character ; and when he was past seventy, he 
 wrote that excellent copy of verses, Sur V Usage de la Vie 
 dans la Vieillesse ; which, for grace of style, justness, and 
 purity of sentiment, does honour to his memory. 
 
 Hamilton died at St. Germain, in April, 1720, aged about 
 seventy-four. His death was pious and resigned. From his 
 poem, entitled Reflections,^ he appears, like some other authors, 
 
 * Voltaire, upon slight evidence, had imputed to him, at an earlier 
 period, sentiments of irreligion similar to his own : 
 
 Aupr^s d'eux le vif Hamilton, 
 
 Toujours arme d'un trait qui blesse, 
 
 Medisait de I'humaine espece, 
 
 Et meme d'un peu mieux, dit-on. 
 But whether Voltaire had any better foundation for insinuating this 
 
XVI BIOGEAPHICAL SKETCH OF 
 
 to have turned his mind, in old age, entirely to those objects 
 of sacred regard, which, sooner or later, mnst engage the atten- 
 tion of every rational mind. To poetry he bids an eternal 
 adieu, in language which breathes no diminution of genius,, 
 at the moment that he for ever recedes from the poetical 
 character. But he aspired to a better. The following lines 
 are interesting, for they evidently allude to his own situation ; 
 and may every one, who, from a well-directed, or mistaken, 
 but pure and generous zeal, is, through the course of a long 
 life, assailed by the temptations of poverty, find that con- 
 solation in an innocence of manners, which Hamilton so well 
 invoked, and, it is to be hoped, not altogether in vain : 
 
 " Fille du ciel, pure Innocence ! 
 Asile contre tons nos maux, 
 Vrai centre du parf ait repos ! 
 Heureux celui, dont la Constance, 
 Vous conservant dans I'abondance, 
 Ne vous perd point, dans les travaux 
 D'une longue et triste indigence !" 
 
 Whatever x^ere Hamilton's errors, his general character 
 was respectable. He has been represented as grave, and even 
 dull, in society ; the very reverse, in short, of what he appears 
 in his Memoirs: but this is probably exaggerated. Un- 
 questionably, he had not the unequalled vivacity of the 
 Count de Grammont in conversation ; as Grammont was, on 
 the other hand, inferior, in all respects, to Hamilton when 
 the pen was in his hand ; the latter was, however, though 
 reserved in a large society, particularly agreeable in a more 
 
 charge than the libertine tone of Hamilton's earlier works, joined to his 
 own wish to hold up a man of genius as a partisan of his own opinions, 
 must remain doubtful ; while it is certain that Hamilton, in his latter 
 years, sincerely followed the Christian religion. 
 
ANTHONY HAMILTON. XVll 
 
 select one. Some of his letters remain, in wliicli he alludes 
 to his want of that facility at impromptu which gave such 
 brilliancy to the conversation of some of his brother wits 
 and contemporaries. But, while we admit the truth of this, 
 let it be remembered, at the same time, that when he wrote 
 this, he was by no means young ; that he criticised his own 
 defects with severity ; that he was poor, and living in a court 
 which itself subsisted on the alms of another. Amidst such 
 circumstances, extemporary gaiety cannot always be found. 
 I can suppose, that the Duchess of Maine, who laid claim to 
 the character of a patroness of wit, and, like many who 
 assert such claims, was very troublesome, very self-sufficient, 
 and very exigeante, might not always have found that general 
 superiority, or even transient lustre, which she expected in 
 Hamilton's society : yet, considering the great difference of 
 their age and situation, this circumstance will not greatly 
 impeach his talents for conversation. But the work of real 
 genius must for ever remain ; and of Hamilton's genius, the 
 Grammont Memoirs will always continue a ^be^teous and 
 graceful monument. To that monumeni^3$a^^Ife1)43e^''kl^ded,, 
 the candour, integrity, and unas^imifig virtues of the 
 amiable author. //^ ESTABLISHED iC7: 
 
 ^^ilOflGElOm^-^' 
 

 EPISTLE TO THE COUNT DE GMMMONT, 
 
 BY ANTHONY HAMILTON, 
 IN HIS OWN AND HIS BROTHER'S NAME.* 
 
 Oh ! thou, the glory of the shore, 
 
 Where Corisanda-f* saw the day, 
 The blessed abode of Menodore ; 
 
 Thou, whom the fates have doom'd to stray 
 
 Far from that pleasant shore away, 
 On which the sun, at parting, smiles, 
 
 Ere, gliding o'er the Pyrenees, 
 
 Spain's tawny visages he sees. 
 And sinks behind the happy isles ; 
 Thou, who of mighty monarchs' court 
 
 So long hast shone unerring star, 
 Unmatch'd in earnest or in sport. 
 
 In love, in frolic, and in war ! 
 
 To you, sir, this invocation must needs be addressed ; for 
 
 * It is dated from Grammont's villa of Semeat, upon the banks of the 
 Oaronne, where it would seem Philibert and Anthony Hamilton were 
 then residing. 
 
 t Corisande and Menadaure were both ancestresses of the Count de 
 Grammont, and celebrated for beauty. 
 
EPISTLE TO THE COUNT DE GRAMMONT. XIX 
 
 whom else could it suit ? But you may be puzzled even to 
 guess who invokes you, since you have heard nothing of us 
 for an age, and since so long an absence may have utterly 
 banished us from your recollection. Yet we venture to flattei" 
 ourselves it may be otherwise. 
 
 For who was e'er forgot by thee ? 
 
 Witness, at Lerida, Don Brice,* 
 
 And Barcelona's lady nice. 
 Donna Eagueza, fair and free ; 
 Witness too Boniface at Breda, 
 
 And Catalonia and Gasconne, 
 
 From Bordeaux walls to far Bayonne, 
 From Perpignan to Pueycreda, 
 
 And we your friends of fair Garonne. 
 
 Even in these distant and peaceful regions, we hear, by daily 
 report, that you are more agreeable, more unequalled, and more 
 marvellous than ever. Our country neighbours, great news- 
 mongers, apprized by their correspondents of the Kvely sallies 
 with which you surprise the court, often ask us if you are not 
 the grandson of that famous Chevalier de Grammont, of whom 
 such wonders are recorded in the History of the Civil Wars ? 
 Indignant that your identity should be disputed in a country 
 where your name is so well known, we had formed a plan of 
 giving some faint sketch of your merits and history. But who 
 were we, that we should attempt the task ? With talents 
 naturally but indifferent, and now rusted by long interruption 
 of all intercourse with the court, how were it possible for us 
 to display taste and politeness, excelling all that is to be 
 
 * Don Brice is celebrated in the Memoirs^ but Donna Eagueza does 
 not appear there. 
 
XX EPISTLE TO THE 
 
 found elsewhere, and wliicli yet must be attributes of those fit 
 to make you their theme ? 
 
 Can mediocrity avail. 
 
 To follow forth such high emprize ? 
 
 In vain our zeal to please you tries. 
 Where noblest talents well might fail : 
 Where loftiest bards might yield the pen, 
 
 And own 'twere rash to dare, 
 'Tis meet that country gentlemen 
 
 Be silent in despair. 
 
 We therefore limited our task to registering all the remark- 
 able particulars of your life which our memory could supply, 
 in order to communicate those materials to the most skilful 
 writers of the metropolis. But the choice embarrassed us. 
 Sometimes we thought of addressing our Memoirs to the 
 Academy, persuaded that as you had formerly sustained a 
 logical thesis,^ you must know enough of the art to qualify 
 you for being received a member of that illustrious body, and 
 praised from head to foot upon the day of admission. Some- 
 times, again, we thought, tliat, as, to all ajDj^earance, no one 
 will survive to pronounce your eulogium when you are no 
 more, it ought to be delivered in the way of anticipation by 
 the reverend Father Massillon or De La Eue. But we con- 
 sidered that the first of these expedients did not suit your 
 rank, and that, as to the second, it would be against all form 
 to swathe you up while alive in the tropes of a funeral 
 sermon. The celebrated Boileau next occurred to us, and we 
 believed at first he was the very person we wanted ; but a 
 moment's reflection satisfied us that he would not answer our 
 purpose. 
 
 * I presume, when he was educated for the church. 
 
COUNT DE GilA:MMONT. XXI 
 
 Sovereign of wit, he sits alone, 
 
 And joys him in his glory won ; 
 
 Or if, in history to live, 
 
 The first of monarchs' feats he give, 
 
 Attentive Phoebus guides his hand, 
 
 And Memory's daughters round him stand ; 
 
 He might consign, and only he, 
 
 Thy fame to immortality. 
 
 Yet, vixen still, his muse would mix 
 
 Her playful but malicious tricks. 
 
 Which friendship scarce might smother. 
 So gambols the ambiguous cat, 
 Deals with one paw a velvet pat, 
 
 And scratches you with t'other. 
 
 The next expedient which occurred to us was, to have your 
 portrait displayed at full length in that miscellany which lately 
 gave us such an excellent letter of the illustrious chief of your 
 house. Here is the direction we obtained for that purpose : 
 
 Not far from that superb abode 
 
 Where Paris bids her monarchs dwell, 
 Eetiring from the Louvre's road, 
 
 The of&ce opes its fruitful cell, 
 
 In choice of authors nothing nice. 
 
 To every work, of every price, 
 
 However rhymed, however writ. 
 
 Especially to folks of wit, 
 
 WTien by rare chance on such they liit. 
 From thence each month, in gallant quire, 
 
 Flit sonneteers in tuneful sallies. 
 
 All tender heroes of their allies. 
 By verse familiar who aspire 
 
 -& 
 
XXll EPISTLE TO THE 
 
 To seize the lionour'd name of poet. 
 
 Some scream, on mistuned pipes and whistles,. 
 
 Pastorals and amorous epistles ; 
 Some, twining worthless wreath, bestow it 
 
 On bards and warriors of their own, 
 
 In camp and chronicle unknown. 
 Here, never rare, though ever new, 
 Eiddle, in veil fantastic screening, 
 
 Presents, in his mysterious mask, 
 
 A useless, yet laborious task, 
 To loungers who have nought to do. 
 
 But puzzle out his senseless meaning. 
 'Tis here, too, that in transports old, 
 
 Kew elegies are monthly moaning ; 
 Here, too, the dead their lists unfold, 
 Telling of heirs and widows groaning ; 
 
 Telling what sums were left to glad them, 
 And here in copper-plate they shine. 
 Shewing their features, rank, and line. 
 
 And all their arms, and whence they had them. 
 
 We soon saw it would be impossible to crowd you, with 
 propriety, into so miscellaneous a miscellany: and these various 
 difl&culties at length reconciled us to our original intention of 
 attempting the adventure ourselves, despite of our insufficiency, 
 and of calling to our assistance two persons whom we have 
 not the honour to know, but some of whose compositions have 
 reached us. In order to propitiate them by some civilities, 
 one of us (he who wears at his ear that pearl, which, you used 
 to say, his mother had hung there out of devotion,) began to 
 invoke them, as you shall hear. 
 
 ! thou of whom the easy strain 
 Enchanted by its happy sway. 
 
COUNT DE GEAMMONT. XXlll 
 
 Sometimes the margin of the Seine, 
 Sometimes the fair and fertile plain, 
 
 Where winds the Maine her lingering way ; 
 
 Whether the light and classic lay 
 Lie at the feet of fair Climene ; 
 
 Or if, La Eare, thou rather choose 
 
 The mood of the theatric muse. 
 
 And raise again, the stage to tread, 
 
 Kenowned Greeks and Eomans dead; 
 
 Attend ! — ^And thon, too, lend thine aid, 
 
 Chaulieu ! on whom, in raptnr'd hour, 
 
 Phoebus breath'd energy and power ; 
 
 Come both, and each a stanza place. 
 
 The structure that we raise to grace ; 
 
 To gild our heavy labours o'er. 
 
 Your aid and influence we implore. 
 
 The invocation was scarce fairly written out, when we 
 found the theatric muse a little misplaced, as neither of the 
 gentlemen invoked appeared to have written anything falling 
 under her department. This reflection embarrassed us ; and 
 we were meditating what turn should be given to the passage, 
 when behold ! there appeared at once, in the midst of the 
 room, a form that surprised without alarming us : — it was that 
 of your philosopher, the inimitable St. Evremond.* [N'one of 
 the tumult which usually announces the arrival of ghosts of 
 consequence precede'd this apparition. 
 
 * With whom, as appears from the Memoirs, the Count, while residing 
 in London, maintained the closest intimacy. St. Evremond was de- 
 lighted with his wit, vivacity, and latitude of principle : He called him 
 his hero ; wrote verses in his praise ; in short, took as warm an interest 
 in him as an Epicurean philosopher can do in any one but himself. 
 
XXIV EPISTLE TO THE 
 
 The sky was clear and still o'erliead, 
 
 !N"o earthquake shook the regions under, 
 No subterraneous murmur dread, 
 
 And not a single clap of thunder. 
 He was not clothed in rags, or tatter'd. 
 
 Like that same grim and grisly spectre, 
 Who, ere Philippi's contest clatter d. 
 
 The dauntless Brutus came to hector : 
 ISTor was he clad like ghost of Laius, 
 
 Who, when against his son he pled, 
 
 'Not worse nor better wardrobe had, 
 Than scanty mantle of Emaeus : 
 
 Nor did his limbs a shroud encumber. 
 Like that which vulgar sprites enfold. 
 When, gliding from their ghostly hold, 
 
 They haunt our couch, and scare our slumber. 
 
 By all this we saw the ghost's intention was not to frighten 
 us. He was dressed exactly as when we had first the pleasure 
 of his acquaintance in London. He had the same air of mirth, 
 sharpened and chastened by satirical expression, and even the 
 same dress, which undoubtedly he had preserved for this visit. 
 Lest you doubt it — 
 
 His ancient studying-cap he wore. 
 
 Well tann'd, of good Morocco hide ;* 
 The eternal double loop before. 
 
 That lasted till its master died : 
 In fine, the self-same equipage. 
 
 As when, with lovely Mazarin, 
 
 * One of St. Evremond's peculiarities was, that, instead of a wig, the 
 universal dress of the time, he chose to wear his own grey hair, covered 
 with the leathern cap described in the text. 
 
 I 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT. XXV 
 
 Still boasting of the name of Sage, 
 
 He drowned, in floods of generous wine, 
 
 The dulness and the frost of age, 
 And daily paid the homage due, 
 To charms that seem'd for ever new. 
 
 As he arrived unannounced, he placed himself between us 
 without ceremony, but could not forbear smiling at the respect 
 with which we withdrew our chairs, under pretence of not 
 crowding him. I had always heard that it was necessary to 
 question folks of the other world, in order to engage them in 
 conversation ; but he soon showed us the contrary ; for, casting 
 his ej^es on the paper which we had left on the table, — " I 
 approve," said he, " of your plan, and I come to give you some 
 advice for the execution ; but I cannot comprehend the choice 
 you have made of these two gentlemen as assistants. I admit, 
 it is impossible to write more beautifully than they both do ; 
 but do you not see that they write nothing but by starts, and 
 that their subjects are as extraordinary as their caprice ? 
 
 Love-lorn and gouty, one soft swain 
 Eebels, amid his rhymes profane. 
 
 Against specific water-gruel ; 
 Or chirrups, in his ill-tim'd lay. 
 The joys of freedom and tokay. 
 
 When Celimena's false or cruel : 
 The other, in his lovely strain. 
 Fresh from the font of Hippocrene, 
 
 Eich in the charms of sound and sense. 
 Throws all his eloquence away. 
 And vaunts, the live-long lingering day. 
 
 The languid bliss of indolence. ^ 
 
 ■" Give up thoughts of them, if you please ; for though you 
 
XXVI EPISTLE TO THE 
 
 have invoked them, they won't come the sooner to your 
 succour : arrange, as well as you can, the materials you had 
 collected for others, and never mind the order of time or 
 events : I would advise you, on the contrary, to choose the 
 latter years of your hero for your principal subject: his 
 earlier adventures are too remote to be altogether so interest- 
 ing in the present day. Make some short and light observa- 
 tions on the resolution he has formed of never dying, and upon 
 the power he seems to possess of carrying it into execution * 
 
 That art by which his life he has warded. 
 And death so often has retarded, 
 
 Tis strange to me. 
 
 The world's envy 
 Has ne'er with jaundiced eye regarded : 
 But, mid all anecdotes he tells 
 Of warriors, statesmen, and of belles, 
 
 With whom he fought, intrigued, and slept, 
 That rare and precious mystery. 
 His art of immortality. 
 
 Is the sole secret he has kept. 
 
 " Do not embarrass your brains in seeking ornaments, or 
 turns of eloquence, to paint his^character : that would resemble 
 strained panegyric; and a faithful portrait will be his best praise^ 
 Take care how you attempt to report his stories, or hons mots : 
 The subject is too great for you.f Try only, in relating his 
 
 * The Count de Grammont, in his old age, recovered, contrary to 
 the expectation of his physicians, and of all the world, from one or two 
 dangerous illnesses, which led him often to say, in his lively manner^ 
 that he had formed a resolution never to die. This declaration is the 
 subject of much raillery through the whole epistle. 
 
 t Bussi-Eabutin assures us, that much of the merit of Grammont's 
 bons mots consisted in his peculiar mode of delivering them, although his. 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT. XXVll 
 
 adventures, to colour over his failings, and give relief to his- 
 merits. 
 
 'Twas thus, by easy route of yore. 
 
 My hero to the skies I bore.^ 
 
 reputation as a wit was universally established. Few of those which 
 have been preserved are susceptible of translation ; but the following 
 may be taken as a specimen : 
 
 One day when Charles II. dined in state, he made Grammont remark, 
 that he was served upon the knee ; a mark of respect not common at 
 other courts. '^ I thank your majesty for the explanation," answered 
 Grammont ; " I thought they were begging pardon for giving you so 
 bad a dinner." Louis XIV., playing at tric-trac, disputed a throw with 
 his opponent. The bystanders were appealed to, and could not decide 
 the cause. It was referred to Grammont, who, from the farther end of 
 the gallery, declared against the king. "But you have not heard the 
 case," said Louis. "Ah, sire," replied the Count, " if your majesty had 
 but a shadow of right, would these gentlemen have failed to decide in 
 your favour ?" 
 
 * St. Evremond, whose attachment to Grammont amounted to enthu- 
 siasm, composed the following epitaph upon him, made, however, long 
 before the Count's death, in which he touches many of the topics which 
 he here is supposed to recommend to Hamilton. 
 
 Here lies the Count de Grammont, stranger ! 
 
 Old Evremond's eternal theme : 
 He who shared Conde's every danger. 
 
 May envy from the bravest claim. 
 Wouldst know his art in courtly life ? 
 It match'd his courage in the strife. 
 Wouldst ask his merit with the fair !~ 
 Who ever liv'd his equal there ? 
 His wit to scandal never stooping 
 His mirth ne'er to buffoon'ry drooping : 
 Keeping his character's marked plan, 
 As spouse, sire, gallant, and old man. 
 
 But went he to confession duly ? 
 
 At matins, mass, and vespers steady ? 
 
 Fervent in prayer ? — to tell you truly, 
 He left these cares to my good lady. 
 
^XXVlll EPISTLE TO THE 
 
 For your part, sketch how beauties tender, 
 
 Did to his vows in crowds surrender : 
 
 Show him forth- following the banners 
 Of one who match'd the goddess-born : 
 
 Show how in peace his active manners 
 Held dull repose in hate and scorn : 
 
 Shov/ how at court he made a figure, 
 
 Taught lessons to the best intriguer, 
 
 Till, without fawning, like his neighbours, 
 
 His prompt address foil'd all their labours. 
 Canvas and colours change once more. 
 
 And paint him forth in various light; 
 The scourge of coxcomb and of bore ; 
 Live record of lampoons in score. 
 
 And chronicle of love and fight ; 
 Eedoubted for his plots so rare. 
 By every happy swain and fair ; 
 Driver of rivals to despair ; 
 
 Sworn enemy to all long speeches ; 
 Lively and brilliant, frank and free ; 
 Author of many a repartee : 
 Eemember, over all, that he 
 
 Was most renown'd for storming breaches. 
 Forget not the white charger's prance. 
 
 On which a daring boast sustaining, 
 He came before a prince of France, 
 
 Victorious in Alsace campaigning * 
 
 We may once more see a Tnrenne ; 
 
 Conde himself may have a double ; 
 But to make Grammont o'er again, 
 
 Would cost dame Nature too much trouble. 
 * Grammont had promised to the Dauphin, then commanding the 
 army in Alsace, that he would join him before the end of the campaign 
 mounted on a white horse. 
 
COUNT DE GEAMMONT. XXIX 
 
 Tell, too, by what enchanting art, 
 Or of the head, or of the heart, 
 
 If skill or courage gain'd his aim ; 
 When to Saint Albans' foul disgrace, 
 Despite his colleague's grave grimace. 
 And a fair nymph's seducing face, 
 
 He carried off gay Buckingham.* 
 Speak all these feats, and simply speak — 
 To soar too high were forward freak — 
 
 To keep Parnassus' skirts discreetest ; 
 For 'tis not on the very peak. 
 
 That middling voices sound the sweetest. 
 Each tale in easy language dress, 
 
 With natural expression closing ; 
 Let every rhyme fall in express ; 
 Avoid poetical excess. 
 
 And shun low miserable prosing : 
 Doat not on modish style, I pray, 
 
 Nor yet condemn it, with rude passion ; 
 There is a place near the Marais, 
 Where mimicry of antique lay • 
 
 Seems to be creeping into fashion. 
 This new and much-admired way, 
 
 Of using Gothic words and spelling. 
 Costs but the price of Eabelais, 
 
 Or Eonsard's sonnets, to excel in. 
 
 * Grammont is supposed to have had no small share in determining^ 
 the Duke of Buckingham, then Charles the Second's favourite minister, 
 to break the triple alliance ; for which purpose he went to France with 
 the Count, in spite of all that the other English ministers, and even 
 his mistress, the celebrated Countess of Shrewsbury, could do to prevent 
 him. 
 
XXX EPISTLE TO THE 
 
 With half a dozen ekes and ayes, 
 Or some such antiquated phrase, 
 At small expense you'll lightly hit 
 On this new strain of ancient wit. 
 
 We assured the spirit we would try to profit by this last 
 atlvice, but that his caution against falling into the languor of 
 a prosing narration appeared to us more difficult to follow. 
 " Once for all," said he, " do your best ; folks that write for the 
 Count de Grammont have a right to reckon on some indulgence. 
 At any rate, you are only known through him, and, apparently, 
 what you are about will not increase the public curiosity on 
 your own account. I must end my visit," he continued, "and 
 by my parting wishes convince my hero that I continue to in- 
 terest myself in his behalf." 
 
 Still may his wit's unceasing charms 
 
 Blaze forth, his numerous days adorning ; 
 May he renounce the din of arms. 
 
 And sleep some longer of a morning : 
 Still be it upon false alarms, 
 
 That chaplains come to lecture o'er him ; ^ 
 Still prematurely, as before. 
 That all the doctors give him o'er, 
 
 And king and court are weeping for him. 
 May such repeated feats convince 
 
 The king he lives but to attend him ; 
 And may he, like a grateful prince, 
 
 Avail him of the hint they lend him : 
 
 * De Grammont having falling seriously ill, at the age of seventy- 
 five, the king, who knew his free sentiments iu religious matters, sent 
 Dangeau to give him ghostly advice. The Count, finding his errand, 
 turned to his wife, and cried out, " Countess, if you don't look to it, 
 Dangeau will cheat you of my conversion." 
 
COUNT DE GRAMMONT. XXXI 
 
 Live long as Grammont's age, and longer, 
 Then learn his art still to grow younger. 
 
 Here ceas'd the ghostly Norman sage, 
 
 A clerk whom we as well as you rate 
 The choicest spirit of his age. 
 
 And heretofore your only curate : 
 Though not a wight, you see, his spectre 
 Doth, like a buried parson's, lecture. 
 Then off he glided to the band 
 
 Of feal friends that hope to greet you, 
 But long may on the margin stand. 
 
 Of sable Styx, before they meet you. 
 No need upon that theme to dwell, 
 Since none but you the cause can tell ; 
 Yet, if, when some half century more. 
 In health and glee, has glided o'er, 
 You find you, maugre all your strength, 
 Stretch'd out in woeful state at length. 
 And forc'd to Erebus to troop, 
 There shall you find the joyous group, 
 
 Carousing on the Stygian border ! 
 Waiting, with hollo and with whoop. 
 
 To dub you brother of their order : 
 
 There shall you find Dan Benserade, 
 Doughty Chapelle and Sarazine, 
 
 Voiture and Chaplain, gallants fine. 
 And he who baUad never made, 
 
 Nor rhymed without a flask of wine. 
 
 Adieu, sir Count, the world around 
 
 Who roam'd in quest of love and battle. 
 Of whose high merits fame did tattle, 
 
 As sturdy tilter, knight renown'd. 
 
XXXU EPISTLE TO THE COUNT DE GEAMMONT. 
 
 Before the warfare of the Fronde, 
 
 Should yon again review Gironde, 
 Travelling in coach, by journeys slow. 
 You'll right hand mark a sweet chateau, 
 Which has few ornaments to show, 
 
 But deep, clear streams, that moat the spot, 
 
 'Tis there we dwell, — forget us not ! 
 
 Think of us then, pray, sir, if, by chance, you should take 
 a fancy to revisit your fair mansion of Semeat. In the mean 
 while, permit us to finish this long letter ; we have endeavoured 
 in vain to make something of it, by varying our language and 
 style — you see how our best efforts fall below our subject. To 
 succeed, it would be necessary that he whom our fictions con- 
 jured up to our assistance were actually among the living.. 
 But, alas ! 
 
 ^o more shall Evremond incite us. 
 
 That chronicler whom none surpasses, 
 Whether his grave or gay delight us ; 
 
 That favourite of divine Parnassus 
 Can find no ford in dark Cocytus : 
 
 From that sad rivers's fatal bourne. 
 
 Alone De Grammont can return. 
 
 4! 
 
MEMOIRS 
 
 OF 
 
 COUNT GRAMMONT 
 
 CHAPTEE I. 
 
 As those who read only for aninsemeiit are, in my opinion, 
 more worthy of attention tlian those who open a book merely 
 to find fanlt, to the former I address myself, and for their en- 
 tertainment commit the following pages to press, without being 
 in the least concerned about the severe criticisms of the latter. 
 I further declare, that the order of time and disposition of the 
 facts, which give more trouble to the writer than pleasure to 
 the reader, shall not much embarrass me in these Memoirs. It 
 being my design to convey a just idea of my hero, those cir- 
 cumstances which most tend to illustrate and distinguish his 
 character shall find a place in these fragments just as they 
 present themselves to my imagination, without paying any 
 particular attention to their arrangement. For, after all, what 
 does it signify where the portrait is begun, provided the as- 
 semblage of the parts forms a whole which perfectly expresses 
 the original ? The celebrated Plutarch, who treats his heroes 
 as he does his readers, commences the life of the one just as 
 he thinks fit, and diverts the attention of the other with di- 
 
 1 
 
Z MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 gressions into antiquity, or agreeable passages of literature,, 
 which frequently have no reference to the subject; for instance,, 
 he tells us that Demetrius Poliorcetes was far from being so 
 tall as his father, Antigonus ; and afterwards, that his reputed 
 father, Antigonus, was only his uncle ; but this is not until he 
 has begun his life with a short account of his death, his various 
 exploits, his good and bad qualities ; and at last, out of com- 
 passion to his failings, brings forward a comparison between 
 him and the unfortunate Mark Antony. 
 
 In the Life of [N'uma Pompilius, he begins by a dissertation 
 upon his preceptor Pythagoras ; and, as if he thought the 
 reader would be anxious to know whether it was the ancient 
 philosopher, or one of the same name, who, after being victo- 
 rious at the Olympic games, went full speed into Italy to 
 teach Numa philosophy, and instruct him in the arts of govern- 
 ment, he gives himself much trouble to explain this difficulty, 
 and, after all, leaves it undetermined. 
 
 What I have said upon this subject is not meant to reflect 
 upon this historian, to whom, of all the ancients, we are most 
 obliged ; it is only intended to authorize the manner in which 
 I have treated a life far more extraordinary than any of those 
 he has transmitted to us. It is my part to describe a man 
 whose inimitable character casts a veil over those faults which 
 I shall neither palliate nor disguise ; a man distinguished by 
 a mixture of virtues and vices so closely linked together as in 
 appearance to form a necessary dependence, glowing with the 
 greatest beauty when united, shining with the brightest lustre 
 when opposed. 
 
 It is this indefinable brilliancy, which, in war, in love, in 
 gaming, and in the various stages of a long life, has rendered 
 the Count de Grammont the admiration of his age, and the 
 delight of every country wherein he has displayed his engaging 
 
;^ T F, '^^ l;i K !>IL '.0^ 3?^' X) . 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GEAMMONT. 3 
 
 wit, dispensed his generosity and magnificence, or practised 
 liis inconstancy: it is owing to this that the sallies of a 
 sprightly imagination have produced those admirable bons- 
 mots which have been with universal applause transmitted to 
 posterity. It is owing to this that he preserved his judgment 
 free and unembarrassed in the most trying situations, and en- 
 joyed an uncommon presence of mind and facetiousness of 
 temper in the most imminent dangers of war. I shall not at- 
 tempt to draw his portrait : his person has been described by 
 Bussi and St. Evremond,* authors more entertaining than faith- 
 ful. The former has represented the Chevalier Grammont as 
 artful, fickle, and even somewhat treacherous in his amours, 
 and indefatigable and cruel in his jealousies. St. Evremond 
 has used other colours to express the genius and describe the 
 general manners of the Count ; whilst both, in their different 
 
 * Yoltaire, in the age of Louis XIV., ch. 24, speaking of that 
 monarch, says, " even at the same time when he began to encourage 
 genius by his liberality, the Count de Bussi was severely punished for 
 the use he made of his : he was sent to the Bastile in 1664. The 
 Amours of the Gauls was the pretence of his imprisonment ; but 
 the true cause was the ' song in which the king was treated with too 
 much freedom, and which, upon this occasion, was brought to remem- 
 brance to ruin Bussi, the reputed author of it. 
 
 Que Deodatus est heureux, 
 De baiser ce bee amoureux, 
 Qui d'une oreille a I'autre va ! 
 
 See Deodatus with his billing dear, 
 
 Whose amorous mouth breathes love from ear to ear ! 
 
 " His works were not good enough to compensate for the mischief 
 they did him. He spoke his own language with purity : he had some 
 merit, but more conceit : and he made no use of the merit he had, but 
 to make himself enemies." Voltaire adds, " Bussi was released at the 
 end of eighteen months ; but he was in disgrace all the rest of his life, 
 in vain protesting a regard for Louis XIV." Bussi died 1693. Of St. 
 Evremond, see note, postea. 
 
 1—2 
 
4 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 pictures, have done greater honour to themselves than justice 
 to theu' hero. 
 
 It is, therefore, to the Count we must listen, in the agreeable 
 relation of the sieges and battles wherein he distinguished 
 himself under another hero ; and it is on him we must rely 
 for the truth of passages the least glorious of liis life, and for 
 the sincerity with which he relates his address, vivacity, frauds, 
 and the various stratageins he practised either in love or 
 gaming. These express his true character, and to himself we 
 owe these memoirs, since I only hold the pen, while he directs 
 it to the most remarkable and secret passages of his life. 
 
n,.o,Tr,n.7lu- X. 
 
 C AiR"irui;35 AT, TA i^TIATAJEir 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 CHAPTEE II. 
 
 In those days affairs were not managed in France as at pre- 
 sent. Louis XIII.* then sat upon the throne, but the Cardinal 
 de Eichelieu-j- governed the kingdom ; great men commanded 
 Httle armies, and Little armies did great things: the fortune 
 of great men depended solely upon ministerial favour, and 
 
 * Son and successor of Henry IV. He began to reign 14th May, 
 1610, and died 14th May, 1643. 
 
 t Of this great minister Mr. Hume gives the following character. — 
 "This man had no sooner, by suppleness and intrigue, gotten possession 
 of the reins of government, than he formed at once thi-ee mighty pro- 
 jects ; — to subdue the turbulent spirits of the great ; to reduce the 
 rebellious Huguenots ; and to curb the encroaching power of the house of 
 Austria. Undaunted and implacable, prudent and active, he braved 
 all the opposition of the French princes and nobles in the prosecution 
 of his vengeance ; he discovered and dissipated all their secret cabals 
 and conspiracies. His sovereign himself he held in subjection, while he 
 exalted the throne. The people, while they lost their liberties, acquired, 
 by means of his administration, learning, order, discipline, and renown. 
 That confused and inaccurate genius of government, of which France 
 partook in common with other European kingdoms, he changed into a 
 simple monarchy, at the very time when the incapacity of Buckingham 
 encouraged the free spirit of the commons to establish in England a 
 regular system of liberty." {History of England^ vol. iv., p. 232.) 
 Cardinal Richelieu died 1642. 
 
6 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 blind devotion to the will of the minister was the only sure 
 method of advancement. Vast designs were then laying in 
 the heart of neighbouring states the foundation of that for- 
 midable greatness to which France has now risen : the police 
 was somewhat neglected ; the highways were impassable by 
 day, and the streets by night ; but robberies were committed 
 elsewhere with greater impunity. Young men, on their first 
 entrance into the world, took what course they thought proper. 
 Whoever would, was a chevalier, and whoever could, an abb6: 
 I mean a beneficed abbe : dress made no distinction between 
 them ; and I believe the Chevalier Grammont was both the 
 one and the other at the siege of Trino.* 
 
 This was his first campaign, and here he displayed those 
 attractive graces which so favourably prepossess, and require 
 neither friends nor recommendations in any company to pro- 
 cure a favourable reception. The siege was already formed 
 when he arrived, which saved him some needless risks ; for a 
 volunteer cannot rest at ease until he has stood the first fire : 
 he went therefore to reconnoitre the generals, having no oc- 
 casion to reconnoitre the place. Prince Thomas^f* commanded 
 the army; and as the post of lieutenant-general was not 
 then known, Du Plessis PralinJ and the famous Viscount 
 
 * Trino was taken 4th May, 1639. 
 
 t Of Savoy, uncle of the reigning duke. He died 1656. 
 
 X Afterwards Marechal and Duke de Choiseul. He retired from the 
 army in 1672. Monsieur H^nault, in his History of France, under that 
 year, says, " Le Marechal du Plessis ne ht pas cette campagne a cause 
 de son grand age ; il dit au roi, qu'il portoit envie a ses enfans, qui 
 avoient Thonneur de servir sa majeste, que pour lui il souhaitoit la mort, 
 puisqu'il n'etoit plus bon a rien : le roi I'embrassa, et lui dit : ^ M. le 
 Marechal, on ne travaille que pour approcher de la reputation que 
 vous avez acquise : il est agreable de se re2)oser apres tants de vic- 
 toires.^" 
 
MEMOIES OF COUNT GEAMMONT. 7 
 
 Tiirenne^ were his majors general. Fortified places were 
 treated with some respect, before a power wliich nothing can 
 withstand had found means to destroy them by dreadful 
 showers of bombs, and by destructive batteries of hundreds of 
 pieces of cannon. Before these furious storms which drive 
 governors under ground and reduce their garrisons to powder, 
 repeated sallies bravely repulsed, and vigorous attacks nobly 
 
 *This great general was killed July 27, 1675, by a cannon-shot, near 
 the village of Salzbach, in going to choose a place whereon to erect a 
 battery. — " No one," says Voltaire, "is ignorant of the circumstances of 
 his death ; but we cannot here refrain from a review of the principal of 
 them, for the same reason that they are still talked of every day. It 
 seems as if one could not too often repeat, that the same bullet which 
 killed him, having shot off the arm of St. Hilaire, lieutenant-general of 
 the artillery, his son came and bewailed his misfortune with many tears ; 
 but the father, looking towards Turenne, said, ' It is not I, but that 
 great man, who should be lamented.' These words may be compared 
 with the most heroic sayings recorded in all history, and are the best 
 •eulogy that can be bestowed upon Turenne. It is uncommon, under a 
 despotic government, where people are actuated only by their private 
 interests, for those who have served their country to die regretted by 
 the public. JSTevertheless, Turenne was lamented both by the soldiers 
 ^nd people ; and Louvois was the only one who rejoiced at his death. 
 The honours which the king ordered to be paid to his memory are 
 known to every one ; and that he was interred at St. Denis, in the 
 same manner as the Constable du Guesclin, above whom he was eleva- 
 ted by the voice of the public, as much as the age of Turenne was 
 superior to the age of the constable." 
 
 In former editions, the quotation from Yoltaire was yet longer. It is 
 more germane to the present matter to observe, that it appears, from the 
 Memoirs of St. Hilaire, where Yoltaire found his anecdote, that Count 
 Hamilton was present at the death of Turenne. Monsieur de Boze had 
 twice sent to Turenne, to beg him to come to the place where the battery 
 was to be erected, which Turenne, as if by presentiment, declined. 
 Count Hamilton brought the third anxious request from De Boze ; and 
 in riding to the place where he was, Turenne received his death-blow. 
 The horse of Montecuculi, the opposite general, was, in the course of 
 the same day, killed by a cannon-shot. 
 
8 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 sustained, signalized both the art of the besiegers and the 
 courage of the besieged ; consequently, sieges were of some 
 length, and young men had an opportunity of gaining some 
 knowledge. Many brave actions were performed on each 
 side during the siege of Trino ; a great deal of fatigue was en- 
 dured, and considerable losses sustained ; but fatigue was no 
 more considered, hardships were no more felt in the trenches, 
 gravity was at an end with the generals, and the troops were 
 no longer dispirited after the arrival of the Chevalier Gram- 
 mont. Pleasure was his pursuit, and he made it universal. 
 
 Among the officers in the army, as in all other places,, 
 there are men of real merit, or pretenders to it. The latter 
 endeavoured to imitate the Chevalier Grammont in his most 
 sliining qualities, but without success ; the former admired 
 his talents and courted his friendship. Of this number was 
 Matta :^ He was agreeable in his person, but still more by 
 
 *Matta, or Matha, of whom Hamilton has drawn so striking a picture, 
 is said to have been of the house of Bourdeille, which had the honour 
 to produce Brantome and Montiesor. The combination of indolence 
 and talent, of wit and simplicity, of bluntness and irony, with which he 
 is represented, may have been derived from tradition, bnt could only 
 have been united into the inimitable whole by the pen of Hamilton. 
 Several of his bons-mots have been preserved; but the spirit evaporates 
 in translation. " Where could I get this nose," said Madame D'Albret, 
 observing a slight tendency to a flush in that feature. " At the side- 
 board, Madame,'^ answered Matta. When the same lady, in despair at 
 her brother's death, refused all nourishment, Matta administered this 
 blunt consolation : " If you are resolved, madame, never again to 
 swallow food, you do well ; but if ever you mean to eat upon any 
 future occasion, believe me, you may as well begin just now." Madame 
 Caylus, in lier Souvenirs, commemorates the simple and natural humour 
 of Matta as rendering him the most delightful society in the world. 
 Mademoiselle, in her Memoirs, alludes to his pleasantry in conversation, 
 and turn for deep gaming. When the Memoirs of Grammont were 
 subjected to the examination of Fontenelle, then censor of the Parisian 
 
MEMOIES OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 9 
 
 the natural turn of liis wit ; lie was plain and simple in his 
 manners, but endued with a quick discernment and refined 
 delicacy, and full of candour and integrity in all his actions. 
 The Chevalier Grammont was not long in discovering his 
 amiable qualities ; an acquaintance was soon formed, and was 
 succeeded by the strictest intimacy. 
 
 Matta insisted that the Chevalier should take up his 
 quarters with him ; to which he only consented on condition 
 of equally contributing to the expense. As they were both 
 liberal and magnificent, at their common cost they gave the 
 best designed and most luxurious entertainments that had 
 ever yet been seen. Play was wonderfully productive at 
 first, and the Chevalier restored by a hundred different ways 
 that which he obtained only by one. The generals, being en- 
 tertained by turns, admired their magnificence, and were dis- 
 satisfied with their own officers for not keeping such good 
 tables and attendance. The Chevalier had the talent of 
 setting off the most indifferent things to advantage ; and his 
 wit was so generally acknowledged, that it was a kind of dis- 
 grace not to submit to his taste. To him Matta resigned the 
 care of furnishing the table and doing its honours ; and, 
 charmed with the general applause, persuaded himself that 
 nothing could be more honourable than their way of living, 
 
 press, he refused to license them, on account of the scandalous conduct 
 imputed to Grammont in this party at quinze. The count no sooner 
 heard of this than he hastened to Fontenelle, and having joked him for 
 being more tender of his reputation than he was himself, the license wa» 
 instantly issued. The censor might have retorted upon Grammont the 
 answer which the count made to a widow who received coldly his 
 compliments of condolence on her husband's death : " Nay, madame, 
 if that is the way you take it, I care as little about it as you do." He 
 died in 1674. " Matta est mort sans confession," says Madame Main- 
 tenon, in a letter to her brother. Tome I., p. 67. 
 
10 MEMOIKS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 and nothing more easy than to continue it ; but he soon per- 
 ceived that the greatest prosperity is not the most lasting. 
 Good living, bad economy, dishonest servants, and ill-luck, 
 all uniting together to disconcert their housekeeping, their 
 table was going to be gradually laid aside, when the Cheva- 
 lier's genius, fertile in resources, undertook to support his 
 former credit by the following expedient. 
 
 They had never yet conferred about tlie state of their 
 finances, although the steward had acquainted each, separately, 
 that he must either receive money to continue the expenses, 
 or give in his accounts. One day, when the Chevalier came 
 home sooner than usual, he found Matta fast asleep in an easy 
 chair, and, being unwilling to disturb his rest, he began 
 musing on his project. Matta awoke without his perceiving 
 it ; and having, for a short time, observed the deep contem- 
 plation he seemed involved in, and the profound silence be- 
 tween two persons who had never held their tongues for a 
 moment when together before, he broke it by a sudden fit of 
 laughter, which increased in proportion as the other stared at 
 him. " A merry way of waking, and ludicrous enough," said 
 the Chevalier ; " what is the matter, and whom do you laugh 
 at ?" " Faith, Chevalier," said Matta, " I am laughing at a 
 dream I had just now, which is so natural and diverting, that 
 I must make you laugh at it also. I was dreaming that we 
 had dismissed our maitre-d'hotel, our cook, and our confec- 
 tioner, having resolved, for the remainder of the campaign, to 
 live upon others as others have lived upon us : this was my 
 dream. Now tell me. Chevalier, on what were you musing ?" 
 *' Poor fellow 1" said the Chevalier, shrugging up his shoulders, 
 " you are knocked down at once, and thrown into the utmost 
 eonsternation and despair at some silly stories which the 
 maitre-d'hotel has been telling you as well as me. What 1 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 11 
 
 after the figure we have made in the face of the nobility and 
 foreigners in the army, shall we give it up, and like fools and 
 beggars sneak off, upon the first failure of our money ! Have 
 you no sentiments of honour? Where is the dignity of 
 France ?" " And where is the money V said Matta ; " for my 
 men say, the devil may take them, if there be ten crowns in 
 the house ; and I believe you have not much more, for it is 
 above a week since I have seen you pull out your purse, or 
 count your money, an amusement you were very fond of in 
 prosperity." " I own all this," said the Chevalier, " but yet I 
 will force you to confess, that you are but a mean-spirited 
 fellow upon this occasion. What would have become of you 
 if you had been reduced to the situation I was in at Lyons, 
 four days before I arrived here ? I will tell you the story." 
 
12 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 "This/' said Matta, " smells strongly of romance, except that 
 it should have been your squire's part to tell your adventures." 
 " True," said the Chevalier ; " however, I may acquaint you 
 with my first exploits without offending my modesty ; besides, 
 my squire's style borders too much upon the burlesque for an 
 heroic narrative. 
 
 " You must know, then, that upon my arrival at Lyons — " 
 "Is it thus you begin," said Matta ? "Pray give us your history 
 a little farther back. The most minute particulars of a life 
 like yours are worthy of relation ; but, above all, the manner 
 in which you first paid your respects to Cardinal Eichelieu : I 
 have often laughed at it. However, you may pass over the 
 unlucky pranks of your infancy, your genealogy, name and 
 quality of your ancestors, for that is a subject with which you 
 must be utterly unacquainted." 
 
 " Pooh !" said the Chevalier; " you think that all the world 
 is as ignorant as yourself ; — ^you think that I am a stranger to 
 the Mendores and the Corisandes. So, perhaps I don't know 
 that it was my father's own fault that he was not the son of 
 Henry IV. The King would by all means have acknowledged 
 him for his son, but the traitor would never consent to it. See 
 
MEMOIES OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 13 
 
 what the Grammonts would have been now, hut for this cross- 
 grained fellow ! They would have had precedence of the 
 O^sars de Vendome * You may laugh, if you like, yet it is 
 as true as the gospel : but let us come to the point. 
 
 " I was sent to the college of Pau,f with the intention of 
 being brought up to the church ; bi^t as I had quite different 
 views, I made no manner of improvement : gaming was so 
 much in my head, that both my tutor and the master lost 
 their labour in endeavouring to teach me Latin. Old Brinon, 
 who served me both as valet-de-chambre and governor, in vain 
 threatened to acquaint my mother. I only studied when I 
 pleased, that is to say, seldom or never : however, they treated 
 me as is customary with scholars of my quality ; I was raised 
 to all the dignities of the forms, without haAdng merited them, 
 and left college nearly in the same state in which I entered 
 it ; nevertheless, I was thought to have more knowledge than 
 was requisite for the abbacy which my brother had solicited 
 for me. He had just married the niece of a minister, to whom 
 every one cringed : he was desirous to present me to him. I 
 felt but little regret to quit the country, and great impatience 
 to see Paris. My brother having kept me some time with 
 him, in order to polish me, let me loose upon the town to 
 shake off my rustic air, and learn the manners of the world. 
 I so thoroughly gained them, that I could not be persuaded 
 to lay them aside when I was introduced at court in the cha- 
 racter of an Abbe. You know what kind of dress was then the 
 
 * Csesar, Duke de Yeiidome, was tlie eldest son of Henry IV., by the 
 celebrated Gabrielle d'Estrees. He died in 1665. 
 
 t Pan was the capital of the principality of Bearne, and lies on an 
 eminence on the Gave Bearnois, being indeed small and well built, and 
 formerly the seat of a parliament, a bailiwick, and a chamber of accounts. 
 In the palace here was born Henry IV. Exclusive of an academy of 
 sciences and liberal arts, there was in it a college of Jesuits, with five 
 convents and two hospitals. 
 
14 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 fashion. All that they could obtain of me was to put a cas- 
 sock over my other clothes, and my brother, ready to die with 
 laughing at my ecclesiastical habit, made others laugh too. I 
 had the finest head of hair in the world, well curled and pow- 
 dered, above my cassock, and below were white buskins and 
 gilt spurs. The Cardinal, who had a quick discernment, could 
 not help laughing. This elevation of sentiment gave him um- 
 brage ; and he foresaw what might be expected from a genius 
 that already laughed at the shaven crown and cowl. 
 
 "When my brother had taken me home, ' Well, my little 
 parson,' said he, ' you have acted your part to admiration, and 
 your parti-coloured dress of the ecclesiastic and soldier has 
 greatly diverted the court ; but this is not all : you must now 
 choose, my little knight. Consider then, whether, by sticking 
 to the church, you will possess great revenues, and have 
 nothing to do ; or, with a small portion, you will risk the loss 
 of a leg or arm, and be the fructus belli of an insensible court, 
 to arrive in your old age at the dignity of a major-general, 
 with a glass eye and a wooden leg.' ' 1 know,' said I, ' that there 
 is no comparison between these two situations, with regard to 
 the conveniences of life ; but, as a man ought to secure his 
 future state in preference to all other considerations, I am re- 
 solved to renounce the church for the salvation of my soul, 
 upon condition, however, that I keep my abbacy.' Neither the 
 remonstrances nor authority of my brother could induce me to 
 change my resolution ; and he was forced to agree to this last 
 article in order to keep me at the academy. You know that 
 I am the most adroit man in France, so that I soon learned 
 all that is taught at such places, and, at the same time, I also 
 learnt that which gives the finishing stroke to a young fellow's 
 education^ and makes him a gentleman, viz. all sorts of games, 
 both at cards and dice ; but the truth is, I thought, at first. 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 15 
 
 that I had more skill in them than I really had, as experience 
 proved. When my mother knew the choice I had made, she 
 was inconsolable ; for she reckoned, that had I been a clergy- 
 man I should have been a saint ; but now she was certain 
 that I should either be a devil in the world, or be killed in the 
 wars. And indeed I burned with impatience to be a soldier ; 
 but being yet too young, I was forced to make a campaign at 
 Bidache* before I made one in the army. When I returned 
 to my mother's house, I had so much the air of a courtier and 
 a man of the world, that she began to respect me, instead of 
 chiding me for my infatuation towards the army. I became 
 her favourite, and finding me inflexible, she only thought of 
 keeping me with her as long as she could, while my little 
 equipage was preparing. The faithful Brinon, who was to 
 attend me as valet-de-chambre, was likewise to discharge the 
 office of governor and equerry, being, perhaps, the only Gascon 
 who was ever possessed of so much gravity and ill-temper. 
 He passed his word for my good behaviour and morality, and 
 promised my mother that he would give a good account of my 
 person in the dangers of the war ; but I hope he will keep his 
 word better as to this last article than he has done as to the 
 former. 
 
 "My equipage was sent away a week before me. This 
 was so much time gained by my mother to give me good 
 advice. At length, after having solemnly enjoined me to 
 have the fear of God before my eyes, and to love my neigh- 
 bour as myself, she suffered me to depart, under the protection 
 of the Lord and the sage Brinon. At the second stage we 
 quarrelled. He had received four hundred louis d'or for the 
 expenses of the campaign: I wished to have the keeping of 
 
 * A principality belonging to the family of the Grammonts, in the 
 province of Gascony. 
 
16 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GEAMMONT. 
 
 them myself, which he strenuously opposed. 'Thou old scoun- 
 drel/ said I, ' is the money thine, or was it given thee for me ? 
 You suppose I must have a treasurer, and receive no money 
 without his order. I know not whether it was from a pre- 
 sentiment of what afterwards happened that he grew melan- 
 choly ; however, it was with the greatest reluctance, and the 
 most poignant anguish, that he found himself obliged to yield. 
 One would have thought that I had wrested his very soul from 
 him. I found myself more light and merry after I had eased 
 him of his trust ; he, on the contrary, appeared so overwhelmed 
 with grief, that it seemed as if I had laid four hundred pounds 
 of lead upon his back, instead of taking away these four hun- 
 dred louis. He went on so heavily, that I was forced to whip 
 his horse myself, and turning to me, now and then, ' Ah ! sir, 
 said he, my lady did not think it would be so.' His reflec- 
 tions and sorrows were renewed at every stage; for, instead 
 of giving a shilling to the post-boy, I gave liim half-a- 
 crown. 
 
 " Having at last reached Lyons, two soldiers stopped us at the 
 gate of the city, to carry us before the governor. I took one 
 of them to conduct me to the best inn, and delivered Brinon 
 into the hands of the other, to acquaint the commandant with 
 the particulars of my journey, and my future intentions. 
 
 " There are as good taverns at Lyons as at Paris ; but my 
 soldier, according to custom, carried me to a friend of his own, 
 whose house he extolled as having the best accommodations, 
 and the greatest resort of good company, in the whole town. 
 The master of this hotel was as big as a hogshead, his name 
 Cerise ; a Swiss by birth, a poisoner by profession, and a thief 
 by custom. He showed me into a tolerably neat room, and 
 desired to know whether I pleased to sup by myself or at the 
 ordinary. I chose the latter, on account of the beau monde 
 which the soldier liad boasted of. 
 
MEMOIES OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 17 
 
 " Brinon, who was quite out of temper at the many questions 
 which the governor had asked him, returned more surly than 
 an old ape ; and seeing that I was dressing my hair, in order to 
 ^ go downstairs : ' What are you about now, sir V said he. 
 'Are you going to tramp about the town? No, no; have 
 we not had tramping enough ever since the morning ? Eat a 
 bit of supper, and go to bed betimes, that you may get on 
 horseback by day-break.' ' Mr. Comptroller,' said I, ' I shall 
 neither tramp about the town, nor eat alone, nor go to bed 
 early. I intend to sup with the company below.' ' At the 
 ordinary 1' cried he ; * I beseech you, sir, do not think of it ! 
 Devil take me, if there be not a dozen brawling fellows play- 
 ing at cards and dice, who make noise enough to drown the 
 loudest thunder !' 
 
 "I was grown insolent since I had seized the money; and 
 being desirous to shake off the yoke of a governor, ' Do you 
 know, Mr. Brinon,' said I, ' that I don't like a blockhead to set 
 up for a reasoner ? Do you go to supper, if you please ; but take 
 care that I have post-horses ready before daybreak.' The mo- 
 ment he mentioned cards and dice, I felt the money burn in 
 my pocket. I was somewhat surprised, however, to find the 
 room where the ordinary was served filled with odd-looking 
 •creatures. My host, after presenting me to the company, as- 
 sured me that there were but eighteen or twenty of those 
 gentlemen who would have the honour to sup with me. I ap- 
 proached one of the tables where they were playing, and 
 thought I should have died with laughing : I expected to have 
 seen good company and deep play ; but I only met with two 
 Germans playing at backgammon. Never did two country 
 loobies play like them ; but their figures beggared all descrip- 
 tion. The fellow near whom I stood was short, thick, and 
 fat, and as round as a ball, with a rufP, and prodigious high- 
 
 2 
 
18 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 crowned liat. Any one, at a moderate distance, would have 
 taken him for the dome of a church, with the steeple on the 
 top of it. I inquired of the host who he was. ' A merchant 
 from Basle,' said he, ' who comes hither to sell horses ; but from 
 ibhe method he pursues, I think he will not dispose of many ; 
 for he does nothing but play/ ' Does he play deep V said I. 
 * Not now,' said he ; ' they are only playing for their reckon- 
 ing, while supper is getting ready ; but he has no objection to 
 play as deep as any one/ 'Has he money V said I. 'As for 
 that,' replied the treacherous Cerise, ' would to God you had 
 won a thousand pistoles of him, and I went your halves ; we 
 should not be long without our money/ I wanted no further 
 encouragement to meditate the ruin of the high-crowned hat. 
 I went nearer to him, in order to take a closer survey ; never 
 was such a bungler ; he made blots upon blots ; God knows, 
 I began to feel some remorse at winning of such an ignora- 
 mus, who knew so little of the game. He lost his reckoning ; 
 supper was served up ; and I desired him to sit next me. It 
 was a long table, and there were at least five-and-twenty in 
 company, notwithstanding the landlord's promise. The most 
 execrable repast that ever was begun being finished, all the 
 crowd insensibly dispersed, except the little Swiss, who still 
 kept near me, and the landlord, who placed himseK on the 
 other side of me. They both smoked like dragoons ; and the 
 Swiss was continually saying, in bad French, ' I ask your par- 
 don, sir, for my great freedom,' at the same time blowing such 
 whiffs of tobacco in my face as almost suffocated me. Mr. 
 Cerise, on the other hand, desired he might take the liberty of 
 asking me whether I had ever been in his country ? and 
 seemed surprised I had so genteel an air, without having tra- 
 velled in Switzerland. 
 
 " The little chub I had to encounter was full as inquisitive as 
 
MEMOIKS OF COUNT GEAMMONT, 19 
 
 the other. He desired to know whether I came from the army 
 ill Piedmont ; and having told him I was going thither, he 
 asked me, whether I had a mind to buy any horses ; that he 
 had about two hundred to dispose of, and that he would sell 
 them cheap. I began to be smoked like a gammon of bacon ; 
 and being quite wearied out, both with their tobacco and their 
 questions, I asked my companion if he would play for a single 
 pistole at backgammon, while our men were supping ; it was 
 not without great ceremony that he consented, at the same 
 time asking my pardon for his great freedom. 
 
 " I won the game ; I gave him his revenge, and won again. 
 We then played double or quit ; I won that too, and all in the 
 twinkling of an eye ; for he grew vexed, and suffered himself 
 to be taken in so that I began to bless my stars for my good 
 fortune. Brinon came in about the end of the third game, to 
 put me to bed, he made a great sign of the cross, but paid no 
 attention to the signs I made him to retire. I was forced to 
 rise to give him that order in private. He began to reprimand 
 me for disgracing myself by keeping company with such a 
 low-bred wretch. It was in vain that I told him he was a 
 great merchant, that he had a great deal of money, and that 
 he played like a child. * He a merchant !' cried Brinon. 'Do 
 not believe that, sir ! May the devil take me, if he is not 
 some conjurer.' ' Hold your tongue, old fool,' said I ; ' he is 
 no more a conjurer than you are, and that is decisive ; and, to 
 prove it to you, I am resolved to win four or five hundred 
 pistoles of him before I go to bed. With these words I turned 
 him out, strictly enjoining him not to return, or in any man- 
 ner to disturb us. 
 
 " The game being doi' 3, the little Swiss unbuttoned his 
 pockets, to pull out a ne \v four-pistole piece, and presenting it 
 to me, he asked my pardon for his great freedom, and seemed 
 
 2—2 
 
20 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 as if he wished to retire. This was not what I wanted. I 
 told him we only played for amusement ; that I had no design 
 upon his money ; and that, if he pleased, I would play him a 
 single game for his four pistoles. He raised some objections 5 
 but consented at last, and won back his money. I was piqued 
 at it. I played another game ; fortune changed sides ; the 
 dice ran for him, he made no more blots. I lost the game ; 
 another game, and double or quit ; we doubled the stake, and 
 played double or quit again. I was vexed ; he, like a true 
 gamester, took every bet I offered, and won all before him, 
 without my gettiag more than six points in eight or ten games. 
 I asked him to play a single game for one hundred pistoles ; 
 but as he saw I did not stake, he told me it was late ; that he 
 must go and look after his horses ; and went away, still asking 
 my pardon for his great freedom. The cool manner of his re- 
 fusal, and the politeness with which he took his leave, pro- 
 voked me to such a degree, that I could almost have kUled 
 him. I was so confounded at losing my money so fast, even 
 to the last pistole, that I did not immediately consider the 
 miserable situation to which I was reduced. 
 
 " I durst not go up to my chamber for fear of Brinon. By 
 good luck, however, he was tired with waiting for me, and had 
 gone to bed. This was some consolation, though but of short 
 continuance. As soon as I was laid down, all the fatal con- 
 sequences of my adventure presented themselves to my imagi- 
 nation. I could not sleep. I saw all the horrors of my mis- 
 fortune, without being able to find any remedy ; in vain did I 
 rack my brain ; it supplied me with no expedient. I feared 
 nothing so much as daybreak ; however, it did come, and the 
 xjruel Brinon along with it. He was booted up to the middle, 
 ■and cracking a cursed whip, which he held in his hand, ' Up, 
 Monsieur le Chevalier,' cried he, opening the curtains ; ' the 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GEAMMONT. ^ _ 21 
 
 horses are at the door, and you are still aslee}). "We ought by 
 this time to have ridden two stages; give me money to pay the 
 reckoning/ ' Brinon/ said I, in a dejected tone, ' draw the 
 curtains.' * What !' cried he, ' draw the curtains ! Do you 
 intend, then, to make your campaign at Lyons ? you seem to 
 have taken a liking to the place. And for the great merchant, 
 you have stripped him, I suppose ? 'No, no. Monsieur le Che- 
 valier, this money will never do you any good. This wretch 
 has, perhaps, a family ; and it is his cMldren's bread that he 
 has been playing with, and that you have won. Was this an 
 object to sit up all night for ? What would my lady say, if 
 she knew what a life you lead V ' M. Brinon,' said I, ' pray 
 draw the curtains.' But instead of obeying me, one would have 
 thought that the devil had prompted him to use the most 
 pointed and galling terms to a person under such misfortunes. 
 * And how much have you won ?' said he ; ' five hundred pis- 
 toles ? what must the poor man do ? Eecollect, Monsieur le 
 Chevalier, what I have said, this money will never thrive with 
 you. It is, perhaps, but four hundred ? three ? two ? well if it 
 be but one hundred louis d'or, continued he, seeing that I 
 shook my head at every sum which he had named, there is no 
 great mischief done ; one hundred pistoles will not ruin him, 
 provided you have won them fairly.' ' Friend Brinon,' said I, 
 fetching a deep sigh, ' draw the curtains ; I am unworthy to 
 see daylight.' Brinon was much affected at these melancholy 
 words, but I thought he would have fainted, when I told him 
 the whole adventure. He tore his hair, made grievous lamen- 
 tations, the burden of which still was, ' What will my lady say V 
 And, after having exhausted his unprofitable complaints, ' What 
 will become of you now. Monsieur le Chevalier ?' said he, ' what 
 do you intend to do V ' ISTothing,' said I, ' for I am fit 'for no- 
 thing. After this, being somewhat eased after making him my 
 
22 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 confession, I thought upon several projects, to none of which 
 could I gain his approbation. I would have had him post 
 after my equipage, to have sold some of my clothes. I was 
 for proposing to the horse-dealer to buy some horses of him at 
 a high price on credit, to sell again cheap. Brinon laughed at 
 all these schemes, and after having had the cruelty of keeping 
 me upon the rack for a long time, he at last extricated me. 
 Parents are always stingy towards their poor children ; my 
 mother intended to have given me five hundred louis d'or, but 
 she had kept back fifty, as well for some little repairs in the 
 abbey, as to pay for praying for me. Brinon had the charge 
 of the other fifty, with strict injunctions not to speak of them, 
 unless upon some urgent necessity. And this you see soon 
 happened. 
 
 " Thus you have a brief account of my first adventure. Play 
 has hitherto favoured me ; for, since my arrival, I have had, 
 at one time, after pajdng all my expenses, fifteen hundred 
 louis d'or. Fortune is now again become unfavourable : we 
 must mend her. Our cash runs low ; we must, therefore, en- 
 deavour to recruit." 
 
 " Nothing is more easy," said Matta ; " it is only to find out 
 such another dupe as the horse-dealer at Lyons ; but now I 
 think on it, has not the faithful Brinon some reserve for the 
 last extremity ? Faith, the time is now come, and we cannot 
 do better than to make use of it." 
 
 " Your raillery would be very seasonable," said the Chevalier, 
 *' if you knew how to extricate us out of this difficulty. You 
 must certainly have an overflow of wit, to be throwing it away 
 upon every occasion as at present. What the devil ! will you 
 always be bantering, without considering what a serious situ- 
 ation we are reduced to. Mind what I say, I will go to- 
 morrow to the head-quarters, I will dine with the Count de 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 23 
 
 Cameran, and I will invite him to supper." " Where ?" said 
 Matta. " Here," said the Chevalier. " You are mad, my poor 
 friend," replied Matta. " This is some such project as you 
 formed at Lyons: you know we have neither money nor 
 credit ; and, to re-establish our circumstances, you intend to 
 give a supper." 
 
 " Stupid fellow !" said the Chevalier, " is it possible, that, so 
 long as we have been acquainted, you should have learned no 
 more invention? The Count de Cameran plays at quinze, 
 and so do I ; we want money ; he has more than he knows 
 what to do with ; I will bespeak a splendid supper, he shall 
 pay for it. Send your maitre-d'hotel to me, and trouble your- 
 self no further, except in some precautions, which it is neces- 
 sary to take on such an occasion." " What are they ?" said 
 Matta. " I will tell you," said the Chevalier ; "for I find one 
 must explain to you things that are as clear as noon-day." 
 
 " You command the guards that are here, don't you ? As 
 soon as night comes on, you shall order fifteen or twenty men, 
 under the command of your sergeant La Place, to be under 
 arms, and to lay themselves flat on the gi'ound, between this 
 place and the head-quarters." " What the devil !" cried Matta, 
 " an ambuscade ? God forgive me, I believe you intend to rob the 
 poor Savoyard. If that be your intention, I declare I will have 
 nothing to say to it." " Poor devil !" said the Chevalier, " the 
 matter is this ; it is very likely that we shall win his money. 
 The Piedmontese, though otherwise good fellows, are apt to 
 be suspicious and distrustful. He commands the horse ; you 
 know you cannot hold your tongue, and are very lil^ely to let 
 slip some jest or other that may vex him. Should he take it 
 into his head that he is cheated, and resent it, who knows 
 what the consequences might be ? for he is commonly attended 
 by eight or ten horsemen. Therefore, however he may be 
 
24 MEMOIES OF COUNT GEAMMONT. 
 
 provoked at his loss, it is proper to be in such a situation as 
 not to dread his resentment." 
 
 '' Embrace me, my dear Chevalier," said Matta, holding his 
 ;sides and laughing; "embrace me, for thou art not to be matched. 
 What a fool I was to think, when you talked to me of taking 
 precautions, that nothing more was necessary than to prepare 
 a table and cards, or perhaps to provide some false dice ! I 
 should never have thought of supporting a man who plays at 
 quinze by a detachment of foot : I must, indeed, confess that 
 you are already a gTeat soldier." 
 
 The next day everything happened as the Chevalier Gram- 
 mont had planned it ; the unfortunate Cameran feU into the 
 snare. They supped in the most agTeeable manner possible : 
 Matta drank five or six bumpers to drown a few scruples 
 wliich made him somewhat uneasy. The Chevalier de Gram- 
 mont shone as usual, and almost made his guest die with 
 laughing, whom he was soon after to make very serious ; and 
 the good-natured Cameran ate like a man whose affections 
 were divided between good cheer and a love of play ; that is 
 to say, he hurried down his victuals, that he might not lose 
 any of the precious time which he had devoted to quinze. 
 
 Supper being done, the sergeant La Place posted his ambus- 
 cade, and the Chevalier de Grammont engaged his man. The 
 perfidy of Cerise, and the high-crowned hat, were still fresh in 
 remembrance, and enabled him to get the better of a few 
 grains of remorse, and conquer some scruples which arose in 
 his mind. Matta, unwilling to be a spectator of violated hos- 
 pitality, sat down in an easy chair, in order to faU asleep, 
 wliile the Chevalier was stripping the poor Count of his 
 money. 
 
 They only staked three or four pistoles at first, just for 
 amusement ; but Cameran having lost three or four times, he 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT, 25 
 
 staked high, and the game became serious. He still lost, and 
 became outrageous ; the cards flew about the room, and the 
 exclamations awoke Matta. i 
 
 As his head was heavy with sleep, and hot with wine, he 
 began to laugh at the passion of the Piedmontese, instead of 
 consoling him. " Faith, my poor Count," said he, " if I were in 
 your place, I would play no more." " Why so ?" said the other. 
 '' I don't know," said he, " but my heart tells me that your ill- 
 luck will continue." " I wQl try that," said Cameran, calling for 
 fresh cards. " Do so," said Matta, and fell asleep again. It was 
 but for a short time. All cards w^ere equally unfortunate for 
 the loser. He held none but tens or court-cards ; and if by 
 chance he had c^uinze, he was sure to be the younger hand, 
 and therefore lost it. Again he stormed. " Did not I tell you 
 so ?" said Matta, starting out of his sleep. " All your storming 
 is in vain ; as long as you play you wiU lose. Believe me, 
 the shortest follies are the best. Leave off, for the devil take 
 me if it is possible for you to win." " Why ?" said Cameran, 
 who began to be impatient. *' Do you wish to know ? ' said 
 Matta ; " why, faith, it is because we are cheating you." 
 
 The Chevalier de Grammont was provoked at so ill-timed a 
 jest, more especially as it carried along with it some appearance 
 of truth. " Mr. Matta," said he, " do you think it can be very 
 agTeeable for a man who plays with such ill-luck as the Count 
 to be pestered with your insipid jests ? For my part, I am so 
 weary of the game, that I would desist immediately, if he was 
 not so great a loser." Nothing is more dreaded by a losing 
 gamester, than such a threat ; and the Count, in a softened 
 tone, told the Chevalier that Mr. Matta might say what he 
 pleased, if he did not offend him ; that, as to himself, it did 
 not give him the smallest uneasiness. 
 
 The Chevalier de Grammont gave the Count far better 
 
26 MEMOIES OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 treatment than lie Mmself had experienced from the Swiss at 
 Lyons ; for he played upon credit as long as he pleased ; which 
 Cameran took so kindly, that he lost fifteen hundred pistoles, 
 and paid them the next morning. As for Matta, he was se- 
 verely reprimanded for the intemperance of his tongue. All 
 the reason he gave for his conduct was, that he made it a 
 point of conscience not to suffer the poor Savoyard to be 
 cheated without informing him of it. ' " Besides," said he, " it 
 would have given me pleasure to have seen my infantry en- 
 gaged with his horse, if he had been inclined to mischief. 
 
 This adventure having recruited their finances, fortune 
 favoured them the remainder of the campaign, and the Che- 
 valier de Grammont, to prove that he had only seized upon 
 the Count's effects by way of reprisal, and to indemnify him- 
 self for the losses he had sustained at Lyons, began from this 
 time to make the same use of his money, that he has been 
 known to do since upon all occasions. He found out the dis- 
 tressed, in order to relieve them ; officers who had lost their 
 equipage in the war, or their money at play ; soldiers who 
 were disabled in the trenches ; in short, every one felt the 
 influence of his benevolence : but his manner of conferring a. 
 favour exceeded even the favour itself. 
 
 Every man possessed of such amiable qualities must meet 
 with success in all his undertakings. The soldiers knew his 
 person, and adored him. The generals were sure to meet him 
 in every scene of action, and sought his company at other 
 times. As soon as fortune declared for him, his first care was 
 to make restitution, by desiring Cameran to go his halves in 
 all parties where the odds were in his favour. 
 
 An inexhaustible fund of vivacity and good humour gave 
 a certain air of novelty to whatever he either said or did. ] 
 know not on what occasion it was that Monsieur de Turenne, 
 
Oiamp/iwne F. 
 
 £. Scriveti S. 
 
 'MAIPaZE S (HEAX :I)jF. jI'T^lRT.:^^^:^., 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 27 
 
 towards the end of tlie siege, commanded a separate body. 
 The Chevalier de Grammont went to visit him at his new 
 quarters, where he found fifteen or twenty officers, M. de 
 Turenne was naturally fond of merriment, and the Chevalier's 
 presence was sure to inspire it. He was much pleased with 
 this visit, and, by way of acknowledgment, would have en- 
 gaged him to play. The Chevalier de Grammont, in returning 
 him thanks, said, that he had learned from his tutor, that 
 when a man went to see his friends, it was neither prudent to 
 leave his own money behind him, nor civil to carry off theirs. 
 " Truly," said Monsieur de Turenne, " you will find neither 
 deep play nor much money among us ; but, that it may not be 
 said that we suffered you to depart without playing, let us 
 stake every one a horse." 
 
 The Chevalier de Grammont agreed. Fortune, who had 
 followed him to a place where he did not think he should 
 have any need of her, made him win fifteen or sixteen horses, 
 by way of joke ; but, seeing some countenances disconcerted at 
 the loss, " Gentlemen," said he, " I should be sorry to see you 
 return on foot from your general's quarters ; it v/ill be enough 
 for me if you send me your horses to-morrow, except one, 
 which I give for the cards." 
 
 The valet-de-chambre thought he was bantering. " I speak 
 seriously," said the Chevalier, " I give you a horse for the cards ; 
 and, what is more, take whichever you please, except my own." 
 " Truly," said Monsieur de Turenne, " I am vastly pleased with 
 the novelty of the thing ; for I don't believe that a horse was 
 €ver before given for the cards." 
 
 Trino surrendered at last. The Baron de Batteville,* who 
 
 * This officer appears to have been the same person who was after- 
 wards ambassador from Spain to the court of Great Britain, where, in 
 
28 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GEAMMONT. 
 
 had defended it valiantly, and for a long time, obtained a 
 capitulation worthy of such a resistance. I do not know whether 
 the Chevalier de Grammont had any share in the capture of 
 this place ; but I know very well, that during a more glorious 
 reign, and with armies ever victorious, his intrepidity and 
 address have been the cause of taking others since, even under 
 the eye of his master, as we shall see in the sequel of these 
 memoirs. 
 
 the summer of 1660, he offended the French court, by claiming prece- 
 dence of their ambassador, Count d'Estrades, on the public entry of 
 the Swedish ambassador into London. On this occasion the court of 
 France compelled its rival of Spain to submit to the mortifying circum- 
 stance of acknowledging the French superiority. To commemorate this 
 important victory, Louis XIV. caused a medal to be struck, repre- 
 senting the Spanish ambassador, the Marquis de Fuente, making the de- 
 claration to that king, "No concurrer con los ambassadores des de 
 Francia," with this inscription, " Jus prsecedendi assertum," and uLder 
 it, "Hispaniorum excusatio coram xxxlegatis principum, 1662.'' A very 
 curious account of the fray occasioned by this dispute, drawn up by 
 Evelyn, is to be seen in that gentleman's article in the Biographia Britan- 
 nica. Lord Clarendon, speaking of Baron de Batteville, says, he was born 
 in Burgundy, in the Spanish quarters, and bred a soldier, in which 
 profession he was an officer of note, and at that time was governor of 
 St. Sebastian, and of that province. He seemed a rough man, and to 
 have more of the camp, but, in truth, knew the intrigues of a court 
 better than most Spaniaids; and, except when his passion surprised him, 
 was wary and cunning in his negotiation. He lived with less reserva- 
 tion and more jollity than the ministers of that crown used to do, and 
 drew such of the court to his table and conversation as he observed 
 to be loud talkers, and confident enough in the king's presence. — 
 Continuation, of Clarendon^ p. 84. 
 
MEMOIES OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 29 
 
 CHAPTEK IV. 
 
 Military glory is at most but one half of the accomplish- 
 ments which distinguish heroes. Love must give the finishing 
 stroke, and adorn their character by the difficulties they en- 
 counter, the temerity of their enterprises, and finally, by the 
 lustre of success. We have examples of this, not only in 
 romances, but also in the genuine histories of the most famous 
 warriors, and the most celebrated conquerors. 
 
 The Chevalier de Grammont and Matta, who did not think 
 much of these examples, were, however, of opinion, that it 
 would be very agreeable to refresh themselves after the fatigues 
 of the siege of Trino, by forming some other sieges, at the ex- 
 pense of the beauties and the husbands of Turin. As the 
 campaign had finished early, they thought they should have 
 time to perform some exploits before the bad weather obliged 
 them to repass the mountains. 
 
 They sallied forth, therefore, not unlike Amadis de Gaul or 
 Don Galaor after they had been dubbed knights, eager in 
 their search after adventures in love, war, and enchantments. 
 They were greatly superior to those two brothers, who only 
 knew how to cleave in twain giants, to break lances, and to 
 carry off fair damsels behind them on horseback, without 
 
30 MEMOIKS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 saying a single word to them; whereas our heroes were 
 adepts at cards and dice, of which the others were totally 
 ignorant. 
 
 They went to Turin, met with an agTeeable reception, and 
 were greatly distinguished at court. Could it be otherwise ? 
 They were young and handsome ; they had wit at command, 
 and spent their money liberally. In what country will not a 
 man succeed, possessing such advantages ? As Turin was at 
 that time the seat of gallantry and of love, two strangers of 
 this description, who were always cheerful, brisk, and lively, 
 could not fail to please the ladies of the court. 
 
 Though the men of Turin were extremely handsome, they 
 were not, however, possessed of the art of pleasing. They 
 treated their wives with respect, and were courteous to 
 strangers. Their wives, still more handsome, were full as 
 courteous to strangers, and less respectful to their husbands. 
 
 Madame Eoyale,* a worthy daughter of Henry IV. ren- 
 dered her little court the most agreeable in the world. She 
 inherited such of her father's virtues as compose the proper 
 ornament of her sex; and with regard to what are termed 
 the foibles of great souls, her highness had in no wise de- 
 generated. 
 
 The Count de Tanes was her prime minister. It was not 
 
 * Christina, secood daughter of Henry IV., married to Victor Ama- 
 deus, Prince of Piedmont, afterwards Duke of Savoy. She seems to 
 have been well entitled to the character here given of her. Keysler, in 
 his Travels^ vol. i., p. 239, speaking of a fine villa, called La Vigne de 
 Madame Poyale, near Turin, says, " During the minority under the 
 regent Christina, both the house and garden were often the scenes^ 
 of riot and debauchery. On this account, in the king's advanced age^ 
 when he was, as it were, inflamed with an external flame of religion, 
 with -which possibly the admonitions of his father-confessor might 
 concur, this place became so odious to him, that, upon the death of 
 Madame Eoyale, he bestowed it on the hospital." She died in 1663. 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 31 
 
 difficult to conduct affairs of state during his administration. 
 N"o complaints were alleged against him; and the princess, 
 satisfied with his conduct herself, was, above all, glad to have 
 her choice approved by her whole court, where people lived 
 nearly according to the manners and customs of ancient 
 chivalry. 
 
 The ladies had each a professed lover, for fashion's sake,. 
 besides volunteers, whose numbers were unlimited. The de-. 
 clared admirers wore their mistresses' liveries, their arms, and 
 sometimes even took their names. Their office was, never to 
 quit them in public, and never to approach them in private ; 
 to be their squires upon all occasions, and, in jousts and tour- 
 naments, to adorn their lances, their housings, and their coats,. 
 with the cyphers and the colours of their dulcineas. 
 
 Matta was far from being averse to gallantry ; but would 
 have liked it more simple than as it was practised at Turin. 
 The ordinary forms would not have disgusted him ; but he found 
 here a sort of superstition in the ceremonies and worship of 
 love, which he thought very inconsistent : however, as he had 
 submitted his conduct in that matter to the direction of the 
 Chevalier de Grammont, he was obliged to follow his example, 
 and to conform to the customs of the country. 
 
 They enlisted themselves at the same time in the service of 
 two beauties, whose former squires gave them up immediately 
 from motives of politeness. The Chevalier de Grammont 
 chose Mademoiselle de Saint-Germain, and told Matta to 
 offer his services to Madame de Senantes. Matta consented, 
 though he liked the other better ; but the Chevalier de Gram- 
 mont persuaded him that Madame de Senantes was more 
 suitable for him. As he had reaped advantage from the 
 Chevalier's talents in the first projects they had formed, he 
 resolved to follow his instructions in love, as he had done his 
 advice in play. 
 
32 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 Mademoiselle de Saint-Germain was in the bloom of youth ; 
 her eyes were small, but very bright and sparkling, and, like 
 her hair, were black ; her complexion was lively and clear, 
 thouf^h not fair : she had an agreeable mouth, two fine rows 
 of teeth, a neck as handsome as one could wish, and a most 
 delightful shape ; she had a particular elegance in her elbows, 
 which, however, she did not show to advantage ; her hands 
 were rather large and not very white ; her feet, though not of 
 the smallest, were well shaped; she trusted to Providence, 
 and used no art to set off those graces which she had received 
 from nature ; but, notwithstanding her negligence in the em- 
 bellishment of her charms, there was something so lively in 
 her person, that the Chevalier de Grammont was caught at 
 first sight ; her wit and humour corresponded with her other 
 qualities, being quite easy and perfectly charming ; she was 
 all mirth, all life, all complaisance and politeness, and all was 
 natural, and always the same without any variation. 
 
 The Marchioness de Senantes* was esteemed fair, and she 
 might have enjoyed, if she had pleased, the reputation of 
 having red hair, had she not rather chosen to conform to 
 the taste of the age in which she lived than to follow that of 
 the ancients : she had all the advantages of red hair without 
 any of the inconveniences; a constant attention to her person- 
 served as a corrective to the natural defects of her complexion. 
 After all, what does it signify, whether cleanliness be owing 
 to nature or to art ? it argues an in^ddious temper to be very 
 inquisitive about it. She had a great deal of wit, a good 
 memory, more reading, and a still greater inclination towards 
 tenderness. 
 
 She had a husband whom it would have been criminal even 
 
 * Lord Orford says, the family of Senantes stiU remains in Piedmont, 
 and bears the title of Marquis de Carailles. 
 
MEMOIES OF COUNT GRAMMONT. S3 
 
 in chastity to spare. He piqued himself upon being a Stoic, 
 and gloried in being slovenly and disgusting in honour of his 
 profession. In this he succeeded to admiration ; for he was 
 very fat, so that he perspired almost as much in winter as in 
 summer. Erudition and brutaKty seemed to be the most 
 conspicuous features of his character, and were displayed in 
 his conversation, sometimes together, sometimes alternately, 
 but always disagreeably : he was not jealous, and yet he was 
 troublesome ; he was very well pleased to see attentions paid 
 to his wife, provided more were paid to him. 
 
 As soon as our adventurers had declared themselves, the 
 Chevalier de Grammont arrayed himself in green habiliments, 
 and dressed Matta in blue, these being the favourite colours 
 of their new mistresses. They entered immediately upon 
 duty : the Chevalier learned and practised all the ceremonies 
 of this species of gallantry, as if he always had been accus- 
 tomed to them ; but Matta commonly forgot one half, and was 
 not over perfect in practising the other. He never could 
 remember that his office was to promote the glory, and not 
 the interest, of his mistress. 
 
 The Duchess of Savoy gave the very next day an enter- 
 tainment at La Venerie,* where all the ladies were invited. 
 
 * This place is thus described by Keysler, Travels, vol. i., p. 235 
 — " The palace most frequented by the royal family is La Yenerie, the 
 court generally continuing there from the spring to December. It is 
 about a league from Turin : the road that leads to it is well paved, and 
 the greatest part of it planted with trees on each side : it is not always 
 in a direct line, but runs a little winding between fine meadows, fields, 
 and vineyards." After describing the palace as it then was, he adds, — 
 " The palace garden at present consists only of hedges and walks, where- 
 as formerly it had fine water-works and grottoes, besides the fountain of 
 Hercules and the temple of Diana, of which a description may be seen 
 in the Nouveau Theatre de Piedmont. But now nothing of these re- 
 mains, being gone to ruin, partly by the ravages of the French, and 
 
 3 
 
34 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GEAMMONT. 
 
 The Chevalier was so agreeable and diverting, that he made 
 his mistress almost die with laughing. Matta, in leading his 
 lady to the coach, squeezed her hand, and at their return from 
 the promenade he begged of her to pity his sufferings. TMs 
 was proceeding rather too precipitately, and although Madame 
 de Senantes was not destitute of the natural compassion of 
 her sex, she nevertheless was shocked at the familiarity of 
 this treatment; she thought herself obliged to show some 
 degree of resentment, and pulling away her hand, which he 
 had pressed with still greater fervency upon this declaration, 
 she went up to the royal apartments without even looking at 
 her new lover. Matta, never thinking that he had offended her,, 
 suffered her to go, and went in search of some company to sup 
 with him : nothing was more easy for a man of his disposition ; 
 he soon found what he wanted, sat a long time at table to 
 refresh himseK after the fatigues of love, and went to bed 
 completely satisfied that he had performed his part to perfec- 
 tion. 
 
 During all this time the Chevalier de Grammont acquitted 
 himself towards Mademoiselle de Saint Germain with univer- 
 sal applause ; and without remitting his assiduities, he found 
 means to shine, as they went along, in the relation of a 
 thousand entertaining anecdotes, which he introduced in the 
 general conversation. Her Eoyal Highness heard them with 
 pleasure, and the solitary Senantes likewise attended to them. 
 He perceived this, and quitted his mistress to inquire what 
 she had done with Matta. 
 
 " I !" said she, " I have done nothing with him ; but I don't 
 
 partly by the king's order that they should be demolished, to make 
 room for something else ; but those vacuities have not yet, and probably 
 will not very soon be filled up," 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 35 
 
 know what he would have done with me if I had been oblic^- 
 ing enough to listen to his most humble solicitations." 
 
 She then told him in what manner his friend had treated 
 her the very second day of their acquaintance. 
 
 The Chevalier could not forbear laughing at it : he told her 
 Matta was rather too unceremonious, but yet she would like 
 him better as their intimacy more improved, and for her con- 
 solation he assured her that he would have spoken in the 
 same manner to her Eoyal Highness herself; however, he 
 would not fail to give him a severe reprimand. He went the 
 next morning into his room for that purpose ; but Matta had 
 gone out early in the morning on a shooting party, in which he 
 had been engaged by his supper companions in the preceding 
 evening. At his return he took a brace of partridges and 
 went to his mistress. Being asked whether he wished to see 
 the Marquis, he said no ; and the Swiss telling him his lady 
 was not at home, he left his partridges, and desired him to 
 present them to his mistress from him. 
 
 The Marchioness was at her toilet, and was decorating her 
 head with all the grace she could devise to captivate Matta, 
 at the moment he was denied admittance : she knew nothing 
 of the matter ; but her husband knew every particular. He 
 had taken it in dudgeon that the first visit was not paid to 
 him, and as he was resolved that it should not be paid to his 
 wife, the Swiss had received his orders, and had almost been 
 beaten for receiving the present which had been left. The 
 partridges, however, were immediately sent back, and Matta, 
 without examining into the cause, was glad to have them 
 again. He went to court without ever changing his clothes, 
 or in the least considering he ought not to appear there with- 
 out his lady's colours. He found her becomingly dressed; 
 her eyes appeared to him more than usually sparkling, and her 
 
 3—2 
 
36 MEMOIES OF COUNT GEAMMONT. 
 
 whole person altogether divine. He began from that day to 
 be much pleased with himself for his complaisance to the 
 Chevalier de Grammont ; however, he could not help remark- 
 ing that she looked but coldly upon him. This appeared to 
 him a very extraordinary return for his services, and, imagin- 
 ing that she was unmindful of her weighty obligations to him, 
 he entered into conversation with her, and severely repri- 
 manded her for having sent back his partridges with so much 
 indifference. 
 
 She did not understand what he meant ; and highly offended 
 that he did not apologize, after the reprimand which she con- 
 cluded him to have received, told him that he certainly had 
 met with ladies of very complying dispositions in his travels, 
 as he seemed to give to himself airs that she was by no means 
 accustomed to endure. Matta desired to know wherein he 
 could be said to have given himself any. " Wherein ?" said 
 she : " the second day that you honoured me with your atten- 
 tions, you treated me as if I had been your humble servant 
 for a thousand years ; the first time that I gave you my hand 
 you squeezed it as violently as you were able. After this 
 commencement of your courtship, I got into my coach, and 
 you mounted your horse ; but instead of riding by the side of 
 the coach, as any reasonable gallant would have done, no 
 sooner did a hare start from her form, than you immediately 
 galloped full speed after her ; having regaled yourself, during 
 the promenade, by taking snuff, without ever deigning to 
 bestow a thought on me, the only proof you gave me, on your 
 return, that you recollected me, was by soliciting me to sur- 
 render my reputation in terms polite enough, but very explicit. 
 And now you talk to me of having been shooting of partridges 
 and of some visit or other, which, I suppose, you have been 
 dreaming of, as well as of all the rest." 
 
MEMOIES OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 37 
 
 The Chevalier de Grammont now advanced, to the intei- 
 ruption of this whimsical dialogue. Matta was rebuked for 
 his forwardness, and his friend took abundant pains to con- 
 vince him that his conduct bordered more upon insolence than 
 familiarity. Matta endeavoured to exculpate himself, but suc- 
 ceeded ill. His mistress took compassion upon him, and con- 
 sented to admit his excuses, for the manner, rather than his 
 repentance for the fact, and declared that it was the intention 
 alone which could either justify or condemn, in such cases ; 
 that it was very easy to pardon ' those transgressions which 
 arise from excess of tenderness, but not such as proceeded from 
 too great a presumption of success. Matta swore that he only 
 squeezed her hand from the violence of his passion, and that 
 he had been driven, by necessity, to ask her to relieve it ; that 
 he was yet a novice in the arts of solicitation ; that he could 
 not possibly thinly her more worthy of his affection, after a 
 month's service, than at the present moment ; and that he 
 entreated her to cast away an occasional thought upon him 
 when her leisure admitted. The Marchioness was not offended, 
 she saw very well that she must require an implicit conformity 
 to the established rule of decorum, when she had to deal with 
 such a character ; and the Chevalier de Grammont, after this 
 sort of reconciliation, went to look after his own affair with 
 Mademoiselle de St. Germain. 
 
 His concern was not the offspring of mere good nature, nay, 
 it was the reverse; for no sooner did he perceive that the 
 Marchioness looked with an eye of favour upon him, than this 
 conquest, appearing to him to be more easy than the other, he 
 thought it was prudent to take advantage of it, for fear of 
 losing the opportunity, and that he might not have spent all 
 his time to no purpose, in case he should prove unsuccessful 
 with the little St. Germain. 
 
38 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 In the mean time, in order to maintain that authority which 
 he had usurped over the conduct of his friend, he, that very 
 evening, notwithstanding what had been already said, repri- 
 manded him for presuming to appear at court in his morning 
 suit, and without his mistress's badge ; for not having had the 
 wit or prudence to pay his first visit to the Marquis de Senan- 
 tes, inst^ead of consuming his time, to no purpose, in inquiries 
 for the lady ; and, to conclude, he asked him what the devil 
 he meant by presenting her with a brace of miserable red par- 
 tridges. " And why not ?" said Matta : " ought they to have 
 been blue, too, to match the cockade and sword-knots you 
 made me wear the other day ? Plague not me with your non- 
 sensical whimsies : my life on it, in one fortnight your equal 
 in foppery and folly will not be found throughout the confines 
 of Turin ; but, to reply to your questions, I did not call upon 
 Monsieur de Senantes, because I had nothing to do with him, 
 and because he is of a species of animals which I dislike, and 
 always shall dislike : as for you, you appear quite charmed 
 with being decked out in green ribands, with writing letters 
 to your mistress, and filling your pockets with citrons, pista- 
 chios, and such sort of stuff, with which you are always cram- 
 ming the poor girl's mouth, in spite of her teeth : you hope to 
 succeed by chanting ditties composed in the days of Corisande 
 and of Henry IV., which you will swear yourself have made 
 upon her : happy in practising the ceremonials of gallantry, 
 you have no ambition for the essentials. Very well : every 
 one has a particular way of acting, as well as a particular 
 taste : your's is to trifle in love ; and, provided you can make 
 Mademoiselle de St. Germain laugh, you are satisfied : as for 
 my part, I am persuaded, that women here are made of the 
 same materials as in other places ; and I do not think that 
 they can be mightily offended, if one sometimes leaves off 
 
 1 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GEAMMONT. 39 
 
 trifling, to come to the point : however, if the Marchioness is 
 not of this way of thinking, she may e'en provide herself else- 
 where ; for I can assure her, that I shall not long act the part 
 of her squire." 
 
 This was an unnecessary menace ; for the Marchioness in 
 reality liked him very well, was nearly of the same way of 
 thinking herself, and wished for nothing more than to ,put his 
 gallantry to the test. But Matta proceeded upon a wrong 
 plan; he had conceived such an aversion for her husband, 
 that he could not prevail upon himse'K to make the smallest 
 advance towards his good graces. He was given to understand 
 that he ought to begin by endeavouring to lull the dragon to 
 sleep, before he could gain possession of the treasure ; but this 
 was all to no purpose, though, at the same time, he could 
 never see his mistress but in public. This made him impatient, 
 and as he was lamenting his ill-fortune to her one day : "Have 
 the goodness, madam," said he, " to let me know where you 
 live : there is never a day that I do not call upon you, at least, 
 three or four times, without ever being blessed with a sight of 
 you." " I generally sleep at home," replied she, laughing ; 
 " but I must tell you, that you will never find me there, if 
 you do not first pay a visit to the Marquis : I am not mistress 
 of the house. I do not tell you," continued she, " that he is 
 a man whose acquaintance any one would very impatiently 
 covet for his conversation : on the contrary, I agree that his 
 humour is fantastical, and his manners not of the pleasing 
 cast ; but there is nothing so savage and inhuman, which a 
 little care, attention, and complaisance may not tame into 
 docility. I must repeat to you some verses upon the subject : 
 I have got them by heart, because they contain a little advice, 
 which you may accommodate, if you please, to your own 
 <jase." 
 
40 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 KONDEAU. 
 
 Keep in mind these maxims rare, 
 You who hope to win the fair ; 
 Who are, or would esteemed be, 
 The quintessence of gallantry. 
 
 That fopp'ry, grinning, and grimace, 
 And fertile store of common-place ; 
 That oaths as false as dicers swear, 
 And iv'ry teeth, and scented hair ; 
 That trinkets, and the pride of dress, 
 Can only give your scheme success. 
 
 Keep in mind. 
 
 Has thy charmer e'er an aunt 1 
 Then learn the rules of woman's cant, 
 And forge a tale, and swear you read it, 
 Such as, save woman, none would credit : 
 Win o'er her confidante and pages 
 By gold, for this a golden age is ; 
 And should it be her wayward fate. 
 To be encumbered with a mate, 
 A dull, old dotard should he be, 
 That dulness claims thy courtesy. 
 
 Keep in mind. 
 
 " Truly," said Matta, " the song may say what it pleases, 
 but I cannot put it in practice : your husband is far too exqui- 
 site a monster for me. Why, what a plaguey odd ceremony 
 do you require of us in this country, if we cannot pay our com- 
 pliments to the wife without being in love with the husband!" 
 
 The Marchioness was much offended at this answer ; and as 
 she thought she had done enough in pointing out to him the 
 path which would conduct him to success, if he had deserved 
 it, she did not think it worth while to enter into any farther 
 explanation ; since he refused to cede, for her sake, so trifling 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT, 41 
 
 an objection : from this instant she resolved to have done with 
 him. 
 
 The Chevalier de Grammont had taken leave of his mistress 
 nearly at the same time : the ardour of his pursuit was extin- 
 guished. It was not that Mademoiselle de Saint G-ermain was 
 less worthy than hitherto of his attentions : on the contrary her 
 attractions visibly increased : she retired to her pillow with a 
 thousand charms, and ever rose from it with additional beauty r 
 the phrase of increasing in beauty as she increased in years 
 seemed to have been purposely made for her. The Chevalier 
 could not deny these truths, but yet he could not find his account 
 in them : a little less merit, with a little less discretion, would 
 have been more agreeable. He perceived that she attended 
 to hun with pleasure, that she was diverted with his stories as 
 much as he could wish, and that she received his billets and 
 presents mthout scruple ; but then he also discovered that 
 she did not msh to proceed any farther. He had exhausted 
 every species of address upon her, and all to no purpose : her 
 attendant was gained : her family, charmed with the music of 
 his conversation and his great attention, were never happy 
 without him : in short, he had reduced to practice the advice 
 contained in the Marchioness's song, and everything conspired 
 to deliver the little Saint Germain into his hands, if the little 
 Saint Germain had herself been willing : but alas ! she was 
 not inclined. It was in vain he told her the favour he desired 
 would cost her nothing ; and that since these treasures were 
 rarely comprised in the fortune a lady brings with her in 
 marriage, she would never find any person, who, by unremit- 
 ting tenderness, unwearied attachment, and inviolable secrecy,, 
 would prove more worthy of them than himself. He then told 
 her no husband was ever able to convey a proper idea of the 
 sweets of love, and that nothing could be more different than 
 
42 MEMOIES OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 the passionate fondness of a lover, always tender, always affec- 
 tionate, yet always respectful, and the careless indifference of 
 B, husband. 
 
 Mademoiselle de Saint Germain, not wishing to take the 
 matter in a serious Hght, that she might not be forced to resent 
 it, answered, that since it was generally the custom in her 
 country to marry, she thought it was right to conform to it, 
 without entering into the knowledge of those distinctions, and 
 those marvellous particulars, which she did not very well un- 
 derstand, and of wliich she did not wish to have any further 
 explanation ; that she had submitted to listen to him this one 
 time, but desired he would never speak to her again in the 
 same strain, since such sort of conversation was neither enter- 
 taining to her, nor could be serviceable to him. Though no 
 one was ever more facetious than Mademoiselle de Saint Ger- 
 main, she yet knew how to assume a very serious air, when- 
 ever occasion required it. The Chevalier de Grammont soon 
 saw that she was in earnest ; and finding it would cost him a 
 great deal of time to effect a change in her sentiments, he was 
 so far cooled in this pursuit, that he only made use of it to 
 hide the designs he had upon the Marchioness de Senantes. 
 
 He found this lady much disgusted at Matta's want of com- 
 plaisance; and his seeming contempt for her erased every 
 favourable impression which she had once entertained for him. 
 While she was in this humour, the Chevalier told her that 
 her resentment was just ; he exaggerated the loss which his 
 friend had sustained; he told her that her charms were a thou- 
 sand times superior to those of the little Saint Germain, and 
 requested that favour for himself which his friend did not 
 •deserve. He was soon favourably heard upon this topic; and 
 as soon as they were agreed, they consulted upon two measures 
 necessary to be taken, the one to deceive her husband, the 
 
MEMOIES OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 43 
 
 other his friend, which was not very difficult : Matta was not 
 -at all suspicious : and the stupid Senantes, towards whom the 
 Chevalier had already behaved as Matta had refused to do, 
 could not be easy without him. This was much more than 
 was wanted ; for as soon as ever the Chevalier was with the 
 Marchioness, her husband immediately joined them out of polite- 
 ness ; and on no account would have left them alone together, 
 for fear they should grow weary of each other without him. 
 
 Matta, who all this time was entirely ignorant that he was 
 disgraced, continued to serve his mistress in his own way. 
 She had agreed with the Chevalier de Grammont, that to all 
 appearance everything should be carried on as before; so that 
 the court always believed that the Marchioness only thought 
 of Matta, and that the Chevalier was entirely devoted to 
 Mademoiselle de Saint Germain. 
 
 There were very frequently little lotteries for trinkets : the 
 Chevalier de Grammont always tried his fortune, and was 
 sometimes fortunate ; and under pretence of the prizes he had 
 won, he bought a thousand tilings which he indiscreetly gave 
 to the Marchioness, and which she still more indiscreetly 
 accepted : the little Saint Germain very seldom received any 
 thing. There are meddling whisperers everywhere : remarks 
 were made upon these proceedings ; and the same person that 
 made them communicated them likewise to Mademoiselle de 
 Saint Germain. She pretended to laugh, but in reality was 
 piqued. It is a maxim religiously observed by the fair sex, to 
 ■envy each other those indulgences which themselves refuse. 
 She took this very ill of the Marchioness. On the other hand, 
 Matta was asked if he was not old enough to make his own pre- 
 sents himself to the Marchioness de Senantes, without sending 
 them by the Chevalier de Grammont. This roused him; for of 
 himself, he woiild never have perceived it : his suspicions, how- 
 
44 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 ever, were but sligiit, and he was willing to have them removed. 
 ''I must confess," said he to the Chevalier de G-rammont, 
 " that they make love here quite in a new style; a man serve.s 
 here without reward : he addresses himself to the husband 
 when he is in love with the wife, and makes presents to an- 
 other man's mistress, to get into the good graces of his own. 
 
 The Marchioness is much obliged to you for " " It is you 
 
 who are obliged," replied the Chevalier, " since this was done 
 on your account : I was ashamed to find you had never yet 
 thought of presenting her with any trifling token of your 
 attention : do you know that the people of this court have 
 such extraordinary notions, as to think that it is rather owing 
 to inadvertency that you never yet have had the spirit to 
 make your mistress the smallest present ? For shame ! how 
 ridiculous it is, that you can never think for yourself ?" 
 
 Matta took this rebuke, without making any answer, being 
 persuaded that he had in some measure deserved it : besides, 
 he was neither sufficiently jealous, nor sufficiently amorous, 
 to think any more of it ; however, as it was necessary for the 
 Chevalier's affairs that Matta should be acquainted with the 
 Marquis de Senantes, he plagued him so much about it, that at 
 last he complied. His friend introduced him, and his mistress 
 seemed pleased with this proof of complaisance, though she 
 was resolved that he should gain nothing by it ; and the hus- 
 band, being gratified with a piece of civility which he had 
 long expected, determined, that very evening, to give them a 
 supper at a little country seat of his, on the banks of the 
 river, very' near the city. 
 
 The Chevalier de Grammont answering for them both, 
 accepted the offer ; and as this was the only one Matta would 
 not have refused from the Marquis, he likewise consented. 
 The Marquis came to convey them in his carriage at the hour 
 
MEMOIES OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 45 
 
 appointed ; but he found only Matta. The Chevalier had 
 engaged himself to play, on purpose that they might go with- 
 out him: Matta was for waiting for him, so great was his 
 fear of being left alone with the Marquis ; but the Chevalier 
 having sent to desire them to go on before, and that he would 
 be with them as soon as he had finished his game, poor Matta 
 was obliged to set out with the man who, of all the world, 
 was most offensive to him. It was not the Chevalier's inten- 
 tion quickly to extricate Matta out of this embarrassment : 
 he no sooner knew that they were gone, than he waited on 
 the Marcliioness, under pretence of still finding her husband, 
 that they might all go together to supper. 
 
 The plot was in a fair way ; and as the Marchioness was of 
 opinion that Matta's indifference merited no better treatment 
 from her, she made no scruple of acting her part in it : she 
 therefore waited for the Chevalier de Grammont with inten- 
 tions so much the more favourable, as she had for a long time 
 expected him, and had some curiosity to receive a visit from 
 him in the absence of her husband. We may therefore sup- 
 pose that this first opportunity would not have been lost, if 
 Mademoiselle de Saint Germain had not unexpectedly come 
 in, almost at the same time with the Chevalier. 
 
 She was more handsome and more entertaining that day 
 than she had ever been before; however, she appeared to them 
 very ugly and very tiresome: she soon perceived that her 
 company was disagreeable, and being determined that they 
 should not be out of humour with her for nothing, after having 
 passed above a long half hour in diverting herself with their 
 uneasiness, and in playing a thousand monkey tricks, which 
 she plainly saw could never be more unseasonable, she pulled 
 off her hood, scarf, and all that part of her dress which ladies lay 
 aside, when in a familiar manner they intend to pass the day 
 
46 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 anywhere. The Chevalier de Grammont cursed her in his 
 heart, while she continued to torment him for being in such 
 ill-humour in such good company : at last the Marchioness, 
 who was as much vexed as he was, said rather drily that she 
 was obliged to wait on her Eoyal Highness : Mademoiselle 
 de Saint Germain told her that she would have the honour to 
 accompany her, if it would not be disagreeable : she took not 
 the smallest notice of her offer ; and the Chevalier, finding 
 that it would be entirely useless to prolong his visit at that 
 time, retired with a good grace. 
 
 As soon as he had left the house, he sent one of his scouts 
 to desire the Marquis to sit down to table with his company 
 without waiting for him, because the game might not perhaps 
 be finished as soon as he expected, but that he would be with 
 him before supper was over. Having despatched this messen- 
 ger, he placed a sentinel at the Marchioness's door, in hopes 
 that the tedious Saint Germain might go out before her ; but 
 this was in vain, for his spy came and told him, after an 
 hour's impatience and suspense, that they were gone out to- 
 gether. He found there was no chance of seeing her again 
 that day, everything falling out contrary to his wishes ; he 
 was forced therefore to leave the Marchioness, and go in quest 
 of the Marquis. 
 
 While these things were going on in the city, Matta was 
 not much diverted in the country: as he was prejudiced 
 against the Marquis, all that he said displeased him: he 
 cursed the Chevalier heartily for the tete-a-tete which he had 
 procured him; and he was upon the point of going away, 
 when he found that he was to sit down to supper without 
 any other company. 
 
 However, as his host was very choice in his entertainments, 
 and had the best wine and the best cook in all Piedmont, the 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 47 
 
 sight of the first course appeased him ; and eating most vo- 
 raciously, without paying any attention to the Marquis, he 
 flattered himself that the supper would end without any dis- 
 pute ; but he was mistaken. 
 
 When the Chevalier de Grammont was at first endeavouring 
 to bring about an intercourse between the Marquis and Matta, 
 he had given a very advantageous character of the latter, to 
 make the former more desirous of his acquaintance ; and in 
 the display of a thousand other accomplishments, knowing 
 what an infatuation the Marquis had for the very name of 
 erudition, he assured him that Matta was one of the most 
 learned men in Europe. 
 
 The Marquis, therefore, from the moment they sat down to 
 supper, had expected some stroke of learning from Matta, to 
 bring his own into play ; but he was much out in his reckon- 
 ing ; no one had read less, no one thought less, and no one 
 had ever spoken so little at an entertainment as he had done : 
 as he did not wish to enter into conversation, he opened his 
 mouth only to eat, or ask for wine. 
 
 The other, being offended at a silence which appeared to 
 him affected, and wearied with having uselessly attacked him 
 upon other subjects, thought he might get something out of 
 him by changing the discourse of love and gallantry; and 
 therefore, to begin the subject, he accosted him in this 
 manner : 
 
 " Since you are my wife's gallant " " I !" said Matta, who 
 
 wished to carry it discreetly : " those who told you so, told a 
 damned lie." " Zounds, sir," said the Marquis, " you speak 
 in a tone which does not at all become you ; for I would have 
 you to know, notwithstanding your contemptuous airs, that 
 the Marchioness de Senantes is perhaps as worthy of your 
 attentions as any of your French ladies, and that I have 
 
48 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 known some greatly your superiors, who have thought it an 
 honour to serve her." " Very well," said Matta, " I think she 
 is very deserving, and since you insist upon it, I am her ser- 
 vant and gallant, to oblige you." 
 
 " You think, perhaps," continued the other, " that the same 
 custom prevails in this country as in your own, and that the 
 ladies have lovers, with no other intentions than to grant 
 them favours: undeceive yourseK if you please, and know, 
 likewise, that even if such events were frequent in this court, 
 I should not be at all uneasy." " Nothing can be more civil," 
 said Matta ; " but wherefore would you not ?" " I will tell 
 you why," replied he : "I am well acquainted with the affec- 
 tion my wife entertains for me : I am acquainted with her 
 discretion towards all the world; and, what is more, T am 
 acquainted with my own merit." 
 
 " You have a most uncommon acquaintance then," replied 
 Matta ; " I congratulate you upon it ; I have the honour to 
 drink it in a bumper." The Marquis pledged him ; but seeing 
 that the conversation dropped on their ceasing to drink, after 
 two or three healths, he wished to make a second attempt, 
 and attack Matta on his strong side, that is to say, on his 
 learning. 
 
 He desired him, therefore, to tell him, at what time he 
 thought the AUobroges came to settle in Piedmont. Matta, 
 who wished him and his AUobroges at the devil, said, that 
 it must be in the time of the civil wars. " I doubt that," 
 said the other. "Just as you like," said Matta. "Under 
 what consulate ?" replied the Marquis : " Under that of the 
 League," said Matta, "when the Guises brought the Lans- 
 quenets into Trance ; but what the devil does that signify ?" 
 
 The Marquis was tolerably warm, and naturally savage, so 
 that God knows how the conversation would have ended, if 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GEAMMONT. 49 
 
 the Chevalier de Grammont had not unexpectedly come in to 
 to appease them. It was some time before he could find out 
 what their debate was ; for the one had forgotten the ques- 
 tions, and the other the answers, which had disobliged him, in 
 order to reproach the Chevalier with his eternal passion for 
 play, which made him always uncertain. The Chevalier, who 
 knew that he was still more culpable than they thought, bore 
 it all with patience, and condemned himself more than they 
 desired: this appeased them; and the entertainment ended 
 with greater tranquillity than it had begun. The conversa- 
 tion was again reduced to order ; but he could not enliven it 
 as he usually did. He was in very ill humour, and as he 
 pressed them every minute to rise from table, the Marquis 
 was of opinion that he had lost a great deal. Matta said, on 
 the contrary, that he had won ; but for want of precautions 
 had made perhaps an unfortunate retreat ; and asked him if 
 he had not stood in need of Serjeant La Place, vfith his am- 
 buscade. 
 
 This piece of history was beyond the comprehension of the 
 Marquis, and being afraid that Matta might explain it, the 
 Chevalier changed the discourse, and was for rising from 
 table; but Matta would not consent to it. This effected a 
 reconciliation between him and the Marquis, who thought 
 this was a piece of civility intended for him ; however, it was 
 not for him, but for his wine, to which Matta had taken a pro- 
 digious liking. 
 
 The Duchess, who knew the character of the Marquis, was 
 charmed with the account which the Chevalier de Grammont 
 gave her of the entertainment and conversation : she sent for 
 Matta to know the truth of it from himself : he confessed, 
 that before the Allobroges were mentioned the Marquis was 
 
 4 
 
60 MEMOIKS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 for quarrelling with him, because he was not in love with his 
 wife. 
 
 Their acquaintance having begun in this manner, all the 
 esteem which the Marquis had formerly expressed for the 
 Chevalier seemed now directed towards Matta : he went every 
 day to pay Matta a visit, and Matta was every day with his 
 wife. This did not at all suit the Chevalier: he repented 
 of his having chid Matta, whose assiduity now interrupted 
 all his schemes; and the Marchioness was still more em- 
 barrassed. Whatever wit a man may have, it will never please 
 where his company is disliked ; and she repented that she 
 had been formerly guilty of some trifling advances towards 
 him. 
 
 Matta began to find charms in her person, and might have 
 found the same in her conversation, jf she had been inclined 
 to display them ; but it is impossible to be in good humour 
 with persons who thwart our designs. Wliile his passion in- 
 creased, the Chevalier de Grammont was solely occupied in 
 endeavouring to find out some method, by which he might 
 accomplish his intrigue ; and this was the stratagem which he 
 put in execution to clear the coast, by removing, at one and 
 the same time, both the lover and the husband. 
 
 He told Matta, that they ought to invite the Marquis to 
 supper at their lodgings, and he would take upon himself to 
 provide everything proper for the occasion. Matta desired to 
 know if it was to play at quinze, and assured him that he 
 should take care to render abortive any intention he might 
 have to engage in play, and leave him alone with the greatest 
 blockhead in all Europe. The Chevalier de Grammont did 
 not entertain any such thought, being persuaded that it would 
 be impossible to take advantage of any such opportunity, in 
 whatever manner he might take his measures ; and that they 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 51 
 
 would seek for him in every corner of the city rather than 
 allow him the least repose : his whole attention was therefore 
 ■employed in rendering the entertainment agreeable, in finding 
 out means of prolonging it, in order ultimately to kindle some 
 dispute between the Marquis and Matta. For this purpose 
 he put himself in the best humour in the world, and the wine 
 produced the same effect on the rest of the company. 
 
 The Chevalier de Grammont expressed his concern, that he 
 had not been able to give the Marquis a little concert, as he 
 had intended in the morning ; for the musicians had been all 
 pre-engaged. Upon this the Marquis undertook to have them 
 at his country-house the following evening, and imrited the 
 same company to sup with him there. Matta asked what the 
 devil they wanted with music, and maintained that it was of 
 no use on such occasions but for women who had something 
 to say to their lovers, while the fiddles prevented them from 
 being overheard, or for fools who had nothing to say when 
 the music ended. They ridiculed all his arguments: the 
 party was fixed for the next day, and the music was voted 
 by the majority of voices. The Marquis, to console Matta, as 
 well as to do honour to the entertainment, toasted a great 
 many healths : Matta was more ready to listen to his argu- 
 ments on this topic than in a dispute; but the Chevalier, 
 perceiving that a little would irritate them, desired nothing 
 more earnestly than to see them engaged in some new con- 
 troversy. It was in vain that he had from time to time 
 started some subject of discourse with this intention; but 
 having luckily thought of asking what was his lady's maiden 
 name, Senantes, who was a great genealogist, as all fools are 
 who have good memories, immediately began by tracing out 
 her family, by an endless confused string of lineage. The 
 Chevalier seemed to listen to him with great attention ; and 
 
 4—2 
 
52 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 perceiving that Matta was almost out of patience, lie desired 
 Mm to attend to what the Marquis was saying, for that 
 nothing could be more entertaining. " All this may be very 
 true," said Matta ; " but for my part, I must confess, if I were 
 married, I should rather choose to inform myself who was the 
 real father of my children, than who were my wife's grand- 
 fathers." The Marquis, smiling at this rudeness, did not leave 
 off until he had traced back the ancestors of his spouse, from 
 line to line, as far as Yolande de Senantes: after this he 
 offered to prove, in less than half an hour, that the Gram- 
 monts came originally from Spain. " Very well," said Matta, 
 " and pray what does it signify to us from whence the Gram- 
 monts are descended ? Do not you know, sir, that it is 
 better to know nothing at all, than to know too much ?" 
 
 The Marquis maintained the contrary with great warmth, 
 and was preparing a formal argument to prove that an igno- 
 rant man is a fool ; but the Chevalier de Grammont, who was 
 thoroughly acquainted with Matta saw very clearly that he 
 would send the logician to the devil before he should arrive 
 at the conclusion of his syllogism : for which reason, inter- 
 posing as soon as they began to raise their voices, he told 
 them it was ridiculous to quarrel about an affair in itseK so 
 trivial, and treated the matter in a serious light, that it might 
 make the greater impression. Thus supper terminated peace- 
 ably, owing to the care he took to suppress all disputes, and 
 to substitute plenty of wine in their stead. 
 
 The next day Matta went to the chase, the Chevalier de 
 Grammont to the bagnio, and the Marquis to his country 
 house. While the latter was making the necessary prepara- 
 tions for his guests, not forgetting the music, and Matta 
 pursuing his game to get an appetite, the ChevaHer was 
 meditating on the execution of his project. 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 53 
 
 As soon as lie had regulated his plan of operations in his 
 own mind, he privately sent anonymous intelligence to the 
 officer of the guard at the palace that the Marquis de Senantes 
 had had some words with Monsieur de Matta the preceding 
 night at supper ; that the one had gone out in the morning, 
 And the other could not be found in the city. 
 
 Madame Eoyale, alarmed at this advice, immediately sent 
 for the Chevalier de Grammont : he appeared surprised when 
 her highness mentioned the affair : he confessed, indeed, that 
 some high words had passed between them, but that he did 
 not believe either of them would have remembered them the 
 next day. He said that if no mischief had yet taken place, 
 the best way would be to secure them both until the morning, 
 A^nd that if they could be found, he would undertake to recon- 
 cile them, and to obliterate all grievances : in this there was 
 no great difficulty. On inquiry at the Marquis's they were 
 informed that he was gone to his country-house : there cer- 
 tainly he was, and there they found him ; the officer put him 
 under an arrest, without assigning any reason for so doing, 
 and left him in very gTeat surprise. 
 
 Immediately upon Matta's return from hunting, her Eoyal 
 Highness sent the same officer to desire him te-give her his 
 word that he would not stir out that evening. This compli- 
 ment very much surprised him, more particularly as no reason 
 w^as assigned for it. He was expected at a good entertainment, 
 he was dying with hunger, and nothing appeared to him more 
 unreasonable than to oblige him to stay at home, in a situation 
 like the present ; but he had given his word, and not knowing 
 to what this might tend, liis only resource was to send for his 
 friend ; but his friend did not come to him until his return 
 from the country. He had there found the Marquis in the 
 midst of his fiddlers, and very much vexed to find himseK a 
 
54 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 prisoner iii liis own house on account of Matta, whom he wa& 
 waiting for in order to feast him : he complained of him bit- 
 terly to the Chevalier de Grammont : he said that he did not 
 believe that he had offended hun ; but that, since he was very 
 desirous of a quarrel, he desired the Chevalier to acquaint him, 
 if he felt the least displeasure on the present occasion, he 
 should, on the very first opportunity, receive what is called 
 satisfaction. The Chevalier de Grammont assured him that 
 no such thought had ever entered the mind of Matta ; that on 
 the contrary, he knew that he very greatly esteemed him ; 
 that all this could alone arise from the extreme tenderness of 
 his lady, who, being alarmed upon the report of the servants 
 who waited at table, must have gone to her Eoyal Highness, 
 in order to prevent any unpleasant consequences; that he 
 thought this the more probable, as he had often told the Mar- 
 chioness, when speaking of Matta, that he was the best 
 swordsman in France ; for, in truth, the poor gentleman had 
 never fought without having the misfortune of killing his man. 
 
 The Marquis, being a little pacified, said he was very much 
 obliged to him, that he would severely chide his wife for her 
 unseasonable tenderness, and that he was extremely desirous 
 of again enjoying the pleasure of his dear friend Matta's com- 
 pany. 
 
 The Chevalier de Grammont assured him that he would 
 use all his endeavours for that purpose, and at the same time 
 gave strict charge to his guard not to let him escape without 
 orders from the Court, as he seemed fully bent upon fighting, 
 and they would be responsible for him : there was no occasion 
 to say more to have him strictly watched, though there was 
 no necessity for it. 
 
 One being thus safely lodged, his next step was to secure 
 the other : he returned immediately to town : and as soon as 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 55 
 
 Matta saw him, " What the devil," said he, " is the meaning 
 of this farce which I am obliged to act ? for my part, I cannot 
 understand the foolish customs of this country ; how comes it 
 that they make me a prisoner upon my parole ?" " How comes 
 it ?" said the Chevalier de Grammont, " it is because you your- 
 self are far more unaccountable than all their customs ; you 
 cannot help disputing with a peevish fellow, whom you ought 
 only to laugh at ; some of&cious footman has no doubt been 
 talking of your last night's dispute ; you were seen to go out 
 of town in the morning, and the Marquis soon after ; was not 
 this sufficient to make her Eoyal Highness think herself obliged 
 to take these precautions ? The Marquis is in custody ; they 
 have only required your parole ; so far, therefore, from taking 
 the affair in the sense you do, I should send very humbly to 
 thank her Highness for the kindness she has manifested to- 
 wards you in putting you under arrest, since it is only on 
 your account that she interests herself in the affair. I shall 
 take a walk to the palace, where I will endeavour to unravel 
 this mystery ; in the mean time, as there is but little proba- 
 bility that the matter should be settled this evening, you 
 would do well to order supper ; for I shall come back to you 
 immediately." 
 
 Matta charged him not to fail to express to her Eoyal High- 
 ness the grateful sense he had of her favour, though in truth 
 he as little feared the Marquis as he loved him ; and it is im- 
 possible to express the degree of his fortitude in stronger 
 terms. 
 
 The Chevalier de Grammont returned in about half an hour, 
 with two or three gentlemen whom Matta had got acquainted 
 with at the chase, and who, upon the report of the quarrel, 
 waited upon him, and each offered him separately his services 
 against the unassisted and pacific Marquis. Matta having re- 
 
56 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 turned them his thanks, insisted upon their staying supper, 
 and put on his robe de chanibre. 
 
 As soon as the Chevalier de Grammont perceived that every 
 thing coincided with his wishes, and that towards the end of 
 the entertainment the toasts went merrily round, he knew he 
 was sure of his man till next day : then taking him aside with 
 the permission of the company, and making use of a false 
 confidence in order to disguise a real treachery, he acquainted 
 him, after having sworn him several times to secrecy, that he 
 had at last prevailed upon the little Saint Germain to grant 
 him an interview that night ; for which reason he would take 
 his leave, under pretence of going to play at Court ; he there- 
 fore desired him fully to satisfy the company that he would 
 not have left them on any other account, as the Piedmontese 
 are naturally mistrustful. Matta promised he would manage 
 this point with discretion ; that he would make an apology 
 for him, and that there was no occasion for his personally 
 taking leave : then, after congratulating him upon the happy 
 posture of his affairs, he sent him away with all the expedition 
 and secrecy imaginable ; so great was his fear lest his friend 
 should lose the present opportunity. 
 
 Matta then returned to the company, much pleased with 
 the confidence which had been placed in him, and with the 
 share he had in the success of this adventure. He put him- 
 self into the best humour imaginable in order to divert the 
 attention of his guests ; he severely satirised those, whose rage 
 for gaming induced them to sacrifice to it every other consi- 
 deration ; he loudly ridiculed the folly of the Chevalier upon 
 this article, and secretly laughed at the credulity of the Pied- 
 montese, whom he had deceived with so much ingenuity. 
 
 It was late at night before the company broke up, and 
 Matta w^ent to bed, very well satisfied with what he had done 
 
» 
 
 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GEAMMONT. 57 
 
 for his friend ; and, if we may credit appearances, this friend 
 enjoyed the fruit of his perfidy. The amorous Marchioness 
 received him like one who wished to enhance the value of the 
 favour she bestowed ; her charms were far from being neg- 
 lected ; and if there are any circumstances in which we may 
 detest the traitor while we profit by the treason, this was not 
 one of them ; and however successful the Chevalier de Gram- 
 mont was in his intrigues, it was not owing to him that the 
 contrary was not believed ; but, be that as it may, being con- 
 vinced that in love whatever is gained by address is gained 
 fairly, it does not appear that he ever showed the smallest 
 degree of repentance for this trick. But it is now time for us 
 to take him from the court of Savoy, to see him shine in that 
 of France. 
 
58 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 CHAPTEK V. 
 
 The Chevalier de Grammont, upon his return to France, sus- 
 tained, with the greatest success, the reputation he had 
 acquired abroad: alert in play, active and ^dgilant in love; 
 sometimes successful, and always feared, in his intrigues ; in 
 war alike prepared for the events of good or ill fortune; 
 possessing an inexhaustible fund of pleasantry in the former, 
 and full of expedients and dexterity in the latter. 
 
 Zealously attached to the Prince de Conde * from inclina- 
 
 * Louis of Bourbon, Duke d'Enghien, afterwards, bj the death of his 
 father in 1656, Prince de Cond^, Of this great man Cardinal de Petz 
 says, " He was born a general, which never happened but to Csesar, to 
 Spinola, and to himself. He has equalled the first : he has surpassed 
 the second. Intrepidity is one of the least shining strokes in his charac- 
 ter. Nature had formed him with a mind as great as his courage. 
 Fortune, in setting him out in a time of wars, has given this last a 
 full extent to work in : his birth, or rather his education, in a family 
 devoted and enslaved to the court, has kept the first within too straight 
 bounds. He was not taught time enough the great and general maxims 
 which alone are able to form men to think always consistently. He 
 never had time to learn them of himseK, because he was prevented 
 from his youth, by the great affairs that fell unexpectedly to his share, 
 and by the continual success he met with. This defect in him was the 
 cause, that with the soul in the world the least inclined to evil, he has 
 committed injuries ; that with the heart of an Alexander, he has, like 
 him, had his failings ; that with a wonderful understanding, he has 
 
Tn3il^^€:E DJE CO^^T^IE 
 
MEMOIES OF COUNT GKAMMONT. 59 
 
 tion, he was a witness, and, if we may be allowed to say it, 
 his companion, in the glory he had acquired at the celebrated 
 battles of Lens, Norlinguen, and Fribourg ;* and the details 
 he so frequently gave of them were far from diminishing their 
 lustre. 
 
 So long as he had only some scruples of conscience, and a 
 thousand interests to sacrifice, he quitted aU to follow a man, 
 whom strong motives and resentments, which in some manner 
 appeared excusable, had withdrawn from the paths of recti- 
 tude : he adhered to him in his first disgrace, with a constancy 
 of which there are few examples ; but he could not submit to 
 the injuries wMch he afterwards received, and which such an 
 
 acted imprudently ; that having all the qualities which the Duke 
 Francis of Guise had, he has not served the state in some occasions so 
 well as he ought; and that having likewise having all the quaHties of the 
 Duke Henry of Guise, he has not carried faction so far as he might. 
 He could not come up to the height of his merit; which, though it be a 
 defect, must yet be owned to be very uncommon, and only to be found in 
 persons^^of the greatest abilities." Memoirs, vol. i., p. 248, edit. 1723. 
 He retired from the army, scon after the death of Turenne, to Chantilly, 
 " from whence," says Voltaire, " he very rai-ely came to Versailles, to 
 behold his glory eclipsed in a place where the courtier never regards 
 anything but favour. He passed the remainder of his days, tormented 
 with the gout, relieving the severity of his pains, and employing the leisure 
 of his retreat, in the conversation of men of genius of all kinds, with 
 which France then abounded. He was woi-thy of their conversation ; 
 as he was not unacquainted with any of those arts and sciences in which 
 they shone. He continued to be admired even in his retreat ; but at 
 last that devouring fire, which, in his youth, had made him a hero, im- 
 petuous, and full of passions, having consumed the strength of his 
 body, which was naturally rather agile than robust, he declined before 
 his time ; and the strength of his mind decaying with that of his body, 
 there remained nothing of the great Conde during the last two years of 
 his life. He died in 1686." Age of Lewis XIV., chap. 11. He was 
 aged 66 years. 
 
 " These were fought in the years 1648, 1645, and 1644. 
 
60 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 inviolable attacliment so little merited. Therefore, without 
 fearing any reproach for a conduct which sufficiently justified 
 itself, as he had formerly deviated from his duty by entering 
 into the service of the Prince de Conde, he thought he had a 
 right to leave him to return again to his duty. 
 
 His peace was soon made at Court, wliere many, far more 
 culpable than himself, were immediately received into favour, 
 when they desired it ; for the queen,* still terrified at the 
 dangers into which the civil wars had plunged the State at 
 the commencement of her regency, endeavoured by lenient 
 measures to conciliate the minds of the people. The policy of 
 the minister-)- was neither sanguinary nor revengeful : his 
 
 * Anne of Anstria, daughter of Philip III. of Spain, widow of Louis 
 XIII., to whom she was married in 1615, and mother of Louis XIV. 
 She died in 1666. Cardinal de Eetz speaks of her in the following 
 terms. — " The queen had more than anybody whom I ever knew, of 
 that sort of wit which was necessary for her not to appear a fool to 
 those that did not know her. She had in her more of harshness than 
 haughtiness ; more of haughtiness than of greatness ; more of outward 
 appearance than reality ; more regard to money than liberality ; more 
 of liberality than of self-interest ; more of self-interest than dis- 
 interestedness : she was more tied to persons by habit than by affec- 
 tion; she had more of insensibility than of cruelty; she had a better 
 memory for injuries than for benefits ; her intention towards piety was 
 greater than her piety ; she had in her more of obstinacy than of firm- 
 ness ; and more incapacity than of all the rest which I mentioned 
 before." Memoirs, vol. i., p. 247. 
 
 t Cardinal Mazarin, who, during a few of the latter years of his life, 
 governed France. He died at Yincennes the 9th of March 1661, aged 
 59 years, leaving as heir to his name and property the Marquis de la 
 Meilleray, who married his niece, and took the title of Duke of Maza- 
 rin. On his death, Louis XIV, and the court appeared in mourning, 
 an honour not common, though Henry IV. had shewn it to the memory 
 of Gabrielle d'Estre^s. Voltaire, who appears unwilling to ascribe much 
 ability to the cardinal, takes an opportunity, on occasion of his death, to 
 make the following observation. — "We cannot refrain from combatingthe 
 opinion, which supposes prodigious abilities, and a genius almost divine, 
 
JkKV)JNKl. ^lASATRIPTE 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 61 
 
 favourite maxim was rather to appease the minds of the dis- 
 contented by lenity, than to have recourse to violent measures ; 
 to be content with losing nothing by the war, without being 
 at the expense of gaining any advantage from the enemy ; to 
 suffer his character to be very severely handled, provided he 
 could amass much wealth, and to spin out the minority to the 
 greatest possible extent. 
 
 His avidity to heap up riches was not alone confined to the 
 thousand different means, with which he was furnished by his 
 authority, and the situation in which he was placed : his whole 
 pursuit was gain : he was naturally fond of gaming ; but he 
 only played to enrich himself, and therefore, whenever he 
 found an opportunity, he cheated. 
 
 As he found the Chevalier de Grammont possessed a great 
 deal of wit, and a great deal of money, he was a man accord- 
 ing to his "wishes, and soon became one of his set. The Cheva- 
 lier soon perceived the artfulness and dishonesty of the Car- 
 dinal, and thought it was allowable in him to put in practice 
 those talents which lie had received from nature, not only in 
 his own defence, but even to attack him whenever an oppor- 
 tunity offered. This would certainly be the place to mention 
 these particulars ; but who can describe them with such ease 
 and elegance as may be expected by those who have heard his 
 own relation of them ? Vain is the attempt to endeavour to 
 transcribe these entertaining anecdotes : their spirit seems to 
 
 in those who have governed empire?? with some degree oF success. It 
 is not a superior penetration that makes statesmen ; it is their charac- 
 ter. All men, how inconsiderable soever their share of sense may be, 
 see their own interest nearly alike. A citizen of Bern or Amsterdam, 
 in this respect, is equal to Sejanus, Ximenes, Buckingham, Eichelieu, or 
 Mazarin ; but our conduct and our enterprises depend absolutely on 
 our natural dispositions, and our success depends upon fortune." Age 
 of Louis XIV., chap. 5. 
 
62 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 evaporate upon paper ; and in whatever light they are exposed 
 the delicacy of their colouring and their beauty is lost. 
 
 It is, then, enough to say, that upon all occasions where ad- 
 dress was reciprocally employed, the Chevalier gained the 
 advantage ; and that if he paid his court badly to the minis- 
 ter, he had the consolation to find, that those who suffered 
 themselves to be cheated, in the end gained no great advan- 
 tage from their complaisance ; for they always continued in 
 an abject submission, while the Chevalier de Grammont, on a 
 thousand different occasions, never put himself under the least 
 restraint. Of which the following is one instance : 
 
 The Spanish army, commanded by the Prince de Cond^ and 
 the archduke,* besieged Arras. The Court was advanced as 
 far as Peronne.-f* The enemy, by the capture of this place, would 
 have procured a reputation for their army of which they were 
 in great need ; as the French, for a considerable time past, 
 had evinced a superiority in every engagement. 
 
 The Prince supported a tottering party, as far as their usual 
 inactivity and irresolution permitted him ; but as in the events 
 of war it is necessary to act independently on some occasions, 
 which, if once suffered to escape, can never be retrieved ; for 
 want of this power it frequently happened that his great abili- 
 ties were of no avail. The Spanish infantry had never re- 
 covered itself since the battle of Eocroy ; J and he who had 
 ruined them by that victory, by fighting against them, was the 
 only man who now, by commanding their army, was capable 
 of repairing the mischief he had done them. But the jealousy 
 
 * Leopold, brotlier of the Emperor Ferdinand the III. 
 
 t A little but strong town, standing among marshes on the river 
 Somme, in Picardy. 
 
 :j: This famous battle was fought and won 19th May, 1643, five days 
 after the death of Louis XIII. 
 
MEMOIKS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 63 
 
 of the generals, and the distrust attendant upon their counsels, 
 tied up his hands. 
 
 Nevertheless, the siege of Arras* was vigorously carried on. 
 The Cardinal was very sensible how dishonourable it would 
 be to suffer this place to be taken under his nose, and almost 
 in sight of the king. On the other hand, it was very hazard- 
 ous to attempt its reH|f, the Prince de Conde being a man 
 who never neglected the smallest precaution for the security 
 of his lines ; and if lines are attacked and not forced, the 
 greatest danger threatens the assailants. For, the more furious 
 the assault, the greater is the disorder in the retreat ; and no 
 man in the world knew so well as the Prince de Conde how 
 to make the best use of an advantage. The army, commanded 
 by Monsieur de Turenne, was considerably weaker than that 
 of the enemy ; it was, likewise, the only resource they had to 
 depend upon. If this army was defeated, the loss of Arras 
 was not the only misfortune to be dreaded. 
 
 The Cardinal, whose genius was happily adapted to such 
 junctures, where deceitful negotiations could extricate him out 
 of difficulties, was filled with terror at the sight of imminent 
 danger, or of a decisive event : he was of opinion to lay siege 
 
 * Voltaire observes, that it was the fortune of Turenne and Conde to 
 be always victorious when they fought at the head of the French, and 
 to be vanquished when they commanded the Spaniards. This was 
 Condi's fate before Arras, August 25, 1654, when he and the archduke 
 besieged that city. Turenne attacked them in their camp, and forced 
 their lines : the troops of the archduke were cut to pieces ; and Cond^, 
 with two regiments of French and Lorrainers, alone sustained the efforts 
 of Turenne's army ; and, while the archduke was flying, he defeated 
 the Marshal de Hoquincourt, repulsed the Marshal de la Fert^, 
 and retreated victoriously himself, by covering the retreat of the 
 vanquished Spaniards. The king of Spain, in his letter to him after 
 this engagement, had these words: " I have been informed that every- 
 thing was lost, and that you have recovered everything." 
 
64 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 to some other place, the capture of which might prove an in- 
 demnification for the loss of Arras ; but Monsieur de Turenne, 
 who was altogether of a different opinion from the Cardinal, 
 resolved to march towards the enemy, and did not acquaint 
 him with his intentions until he was upon his march. The 
 courier arrived in the midst of his distress, and redoubled 
 Jus apprehensions and alarms ; but there was then no 
 remedy. 
 
 The Marshal, whose great reputation had gained him the 
 confidence of the troops, had determined upon his measures 
 before an express order from the Court could prevent him. 
 This was one of those occasions in which the difficulties you 
 encounter heighten the glory of success. Though the general's 
 capacity, in some measure, afforded comfort to the Court, they 
 nevertheless were upon the eve of an event, which in one 
 way or other must terminate both their hopes and their fears : 
 while the rest of the courtiers were giving various opinions 
 concerning the issue, the Chevalier de Grammont determined 
 to be an eye-witness of it; a resolution which gTeatly sur- 
 prised the court; for those who had seen as many actions 
 as he had, seemed to be exempted from such eagerness; 
 but it was in vain that his friends opposed his resolu- 
 tions. 
 
 The king was pleased with his intention ; and the queen 
 appeared no less satisfied. He assured her that he would 
 bring her good news ; and she promised to embrace him, if he 
 was as good as his word. The Cardinal made the same 
 promise : to the latter, however, he did not pay much atten- 
 tion; yet he believed it sincere, because the keeping of it 
 would cost him nothing. 
 
 He set out in the dusk of the evening with Caseau, whom 
 Monsieur de Turenne had sent express to their majesties. 
 
JAMIE S X)IJKE OIF X©]R]K:% 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 65 
 
 The Duke of York,* and the Marquis d'Humi^res,-|- com- 
 manded under the Marshal : the latter was upon duty when 
 the Chevalier arrived, it being scarce daylight. The Duke of 
 York did not at first recollect him ; but the Marquis d'Hu- 
 mieres, running to him with open arms, " I thought," said he, 
 " if any man came from court to pay us a visit upon such an 
 occasion as this, it would be the Chevalier de Grammont. 
 Well," continued he, " what are they doing at Peronne ?" 
 "They are in great consternation," replied the Chevalier. 
 "And what do they think of us?" "They think," said he, 
 " that if you beat the Prince, you will do no more than your 
 duty ; if you are beaten, they will think you fools and mad- 
 men, thus to have risked everything, without considering the 
 consequences." "Truly," said the Marquis, "you bring us 
 very comfortable news. Will you now go to Monsieur de 
 Turenne's quarters, to acquaint him with it; or will you 
 choose rather to repose yourself in mine ? for you have been 
 riding post all last night, and perhaps did not experience 
 much rest in the preceding." " Where have you heard that 
 the Chevalier de Grammont had ever any occasion for sleep ?" 
 replied he: "Only order me a horse, that I may have the 
 honour to attend the Duke of York ; for, most likely, he is 
 not in the field so early, except to visit some posts." 
 
 The advanced guard was only at cannon shot from that of 
 the enemy. As soon as they arrived there, " I should like," 
 
 * Priorato, in his Memoirs of Cardinal Mazarin, mentions other 
 Englishmen besides the Duke of York being present ; as Lords Gerrard, 
 Barclay, and Jermyn, with others. Memoirs, 12mo, 1673, tome i., 
 part 3, p. 365. 
 
 •f Louis de Ore vans, Marechal of France. He died 1694. Voltaire 
 says of him, that he was the first who, at the siege of Arras, in 1658, 
 was served in silver in the trenches, and had ragouts and entremets 
 served up to his table. 
 
 5 
 
66 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 said the Chevalier de Grammont, " to advance as far as the 
 sentry which is posted on that eminence : I have some friends 
 and acquaintance in their army, whom I should wish to in- 
 quire after: I hope the Duke of York will give me per- 
 mission." At these words he advanced. The sentry, seeing 
 him come forward directly to his post, stood upon his guard : 
 the Chevalier stopped as soon as he was within shot of him. 
 The sentry answered the sign which was made to him, and 
 made another to the officer, who had begun to advance as 
 soon as he had seen the Chevalier come forward, and was 
 soon up with him ; but seeing the Chevalier de Grammont 
 alone, he made no difficulty to let him approach. He desired 
 leave of this officer to inquire . after some relations he had in 
 their army, and at the same time asked if the Duke d'Arscot 
 was at the siege. " Sir," said he, " there he is, just alighted 
 under those trees, which you see on the left of our grand 
 guard: it is hardly a minute since he was here with the 
 Prince d'Aremberg, his brother, the Baron de Limbec, and 
 Louvigny." " May I see them upon parole ?" said the Cheva- 
 lier. " Sir," said he, " if I were allowed to quit my post, I 
 would do myseK tlie honour of accompanying you thither ; 
 but I will send to acquaint them, that the Chevalier de Gram- 
 mont desires to speak to them :" and, after having despatched 
 one of his guard towards them, he returned. " Sir," said the 
 Chevalier de Grammont, " may I take the liberty to inquire 
 how I came to be known to you ?" " Is it possible," said the 
 other, " that the Chevalier de Grammont should forget La 
 Motte, who had the honour to serve so long in his regiment ?" 
 "What ! is it you, my good friend. La Motte ? Truly, I was 
 to blame for not remembering you, though you are in a dress 
 very different from that which I first saw you in at Bruxelles, 
 when you taught the Duchess of Guise to dance the triolets : 
 
Ui^i.Fm lul. J- 
 
 TjRTLrr 'i::^ D) - a.]]^ie,mb 'f. -b. j^ 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GKAMMONT. 67 
 
 and I am afraid your affairs are not in so flourishing a con- 
 dition as they were the campaign after I had given you the 
 company you mention." They were talking in this manner, 
 when the Duke d'Arscot, followed by the gentlemen above 
 mentioned, came up on full gallop. The Chevalier de Gram- 
 mont was saluted by the whole company before he could say 
 a word. Soon after arrived an immense number of others of 
 his acquaintance, with many people, out of curiosity, on both 
 sides, who, seeing him upon the eminence, assembled together 
 with the greatest eao-erness ; so that the two armies, without 
 ■design, without truce, and without fraud, were going to join 
 in conversation, if, by chance, Monsieur de Turenne had not 
 perceived it at a distance. The sight surprised him: he 
 hastened that way ; and the Marquis d'Humieres acquainted 
 him with the arrival of the Chevalier de Grammont, who 
 wished to speak to the sentry before he went to the head- 
 quarters : he added, that he could not comprehend how the 
 devil he had managed to assemble both armies around him, 
 for it was hardly a minute since he had left him. " Truly," 
 said Monsieur de Turenne, " he is a very extraordinary man ; 
 but it is only reasonable that he should let us now have 
 a little of his company, since he has paid his first visit to the 
 enemy." At these words he despatched an aide-de-camp, to 
 recal the of&cers of his army, and to acquaint the Chevalier 
 de Grammont with his impatience to see him. 
 
 This order arrived at the same time, with one of the same 
 nature, to the enemy's of&cers. The Prince de Conde, being 
 informed of this peaceable interview, was not the least sur- 
 prised at it, when he heard that it was occasioned by the 
 arrival of the Chevalier de Grammont. He only gave Lussan 
 orders to recal the officers, and to desire the Chevalier to meet 
 him at the same place the next day; which the Chevalier 
 
 6—2 
 
6S MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 promised to do, provided Monsieur de Turenne should ap- 
 prove of it, as lie made no doubt he would. 
 
 His reception in the king's army was equally agreeable as 
 that which he had experienced from the enemy. Monsieur 
 de Turenne esteemed him no less for his frankness than for 
 the poignancy of his wit : he took it very kindly that he was 
 the only courtier who came to see him in a time so critical as 
 the present: the questions which he asked him about the 
 court were not so much for information, as to divert himself 
 with his manner of relating their different apprehensions and 
 alarms. The Chevalier de Grammont advised him to beat 
 the enemy, if he did not choose to be answerable for an en- 
 terprise which he had undertaken without consulting the 
 Cardinal. Monsieur de Turenne promised him he would 
 exert himself to the utmost to follow his advice, and assured 
 him, that if he succeeded, he would make the queen keep her 
 word with him ; and concluded with saying, that he was not 
 sorry the Prince de Conde had expressed a desire to see him. 
 His measures were taken for an attack upon the lines: on 
 this subject he discoursed in private with the Chevalier de 
 Grammont, and concealed nothing from him except the time 
 of execution : but this was all to no purpose ; for the Cheva- 
 lier had seen too much, not to judge, from his own know- 
 ledge, and the observations he had made, that from the situa- 
 tion of the army, the attack could be no longer deferred. 
 
 He set out the next day for his rendezvous, attended by a 
 trumpet, and found the Prince at the place which Monsieur 
 de Lussan had described to him the evening before. As soon 
 as he alighted : " Is it possible," said the Prince, embracing 
 him, " that this can be the Chevalier de Grammont, and that 
 I should see him in the contrary party ? " " It is you, my 
 lord, whom I see there," replied the ChevaKer, " and I refer 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 69 
 
 it to yourself, whether it was the fault of the Chevalier cle 
 Grammont, or your own, that we now embrace different in- 
 terests." " I must confess," said the Prince, " that if there 
 are some who have abandoned me like base ungrateful 
 wretches, you have left me, as I left myseK, like a man of 
 honour, who thinks himself in the right : but let us forget all 
 cause of resentment, and tell me what was your motive for 
 coming here, you, whom I thought at Peronne with the 
 court." " Must I tell you ?" said he : " why, faith then, I 
 came to save your life. I know that you cannot help being 
 in the midst of the enemy in a day of battle ; it is only 
 necessary for your horse to be shot under you, and to be taken 
 in arms, to meet with the same treatment from this Cardinal, 
 as your uncle Montmorency"^ did from the other. I come, 
 therefore, to hold a horse in readiness for you, in case of a 
 similar misfortune, that you may not lose your head." " It 
 is not the first time," said the Prince, smiling, "that you 
 have rendered me this service, though the being taken 
 prisoner at that time could not have been so dangerous to 
 me as now." 
 
 From this conversation, they passed to more entertaining 
 subjects. The Prince asked him many questions concerning 
 the court, the ladies, play, and about his amours ; and return- 
 ing insensibly to the present situation of affairs, the Chevalier 
 having inquired after some of&cers of his acquaintance, who 
 had remained with him, the Prince told him that if he chose, 
 he might go to the lines, where he would have an opportunity 
 not only of seeing those whom he inquired after, but likewise 
 the disposition of the quarters and entrenchments. To this he 
 
 * Henry, Duke of Montmorency, who was taken prisoner first Sep- 
 tember, 1692, and had his head struck off at Toulouse in the month 
 of November following. 
 
70 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 consented, and the Prince having shown him all the works 
 and attended him back to their rendezvous, " Well, Chevalier, 
 said he, " when do you think we shall see you again ?" " Faith," 
 replied he, "you have used me so handsomely, that I shall 
 conceal nothing from you. Hold yourself in readiness an hour 
 before daybreak ; for, you may depend upon it, we shall attack 
 you to-morrow morning. I would not have acquainted you 
 with this, perhaps, had I been entrusted with the secret, but,, 
 nevertheless, in the present case you may believe me." " You 
 are still the same man," said the Prince, again embracing 
 him. The Chevalier returned to Monsieur de Turenne's camp 
 towards night; every preparation was then making for the 
 attack of the lines, and it was no longer a secret among the 
 troops. 
 
 " Well, Monsieur le Chevalier, were they all very glad ta 
 see you ?" said ]\Ionsieur de Turenne ; " the Prince, no doubt^ 
 received you with the greatest kindness, and asked a great 
 number of questions ?" " He has shown me all the civility 
 imaginable," replied the Chevalier ; " and, to convince me lie 
 did not take me for a spy, he led me round the lines and en- 
 trenchments, and showed me the preparations he had made for 
 your reception." " And what is his opinion ?" said the Mar- 
 shal. " He is persuaded that you will attack him to-night, 
 or to-morrow by daybreak ; for you great captains," continued 
 the Chevalier, " see through each other's designs in a wonder- 
 ful manner." 
 
 Monsieur de Turenne, with pleasure, received this commen- 
 dation from a man who was not indiscriminately accustomed 
 to bestow praise. He communicated to him the disposition of 
 the attack ; and at the same time acquainted him, that he was 
 very happy that a man who had seen so many actions was ta 
 be present at this ; and that he esteemed it no small advan- 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 71 
 
 tage to have tlie benefit of his advice, but as he believed that 
 the remaining part of the night would be hardly sufficient for 
 his i;ppose, after having passed the former without any re- 
 freshment, he consigned him to the Marquis d'Humik^es. who 
 provided him with a supper and a lodging. 
 
 The next day the lines of Arras were attacked, wherein 
 Monsieur de Turenne, being victorious, added additional lustre 
 to his former glory ; and the Prince de Conde, though van- 
 quished, lost nothing of his former reputation. 
 
 There are so many accounts of this celebrated battle, that to 
 mention it here would be altogether superfluous. The Cheva- 
 lier de Grammont, who, as a volunteer, was permitted to go into 
 every part, has given a better description of it than any other 
 person. Monsieur de Turenne reaped great advantage from 
 that activity which never forsook the Chevalier either in peace 
 or war ; and that presence of mind which enabled him to carry 
 orders, as coming from the general, so very apropos, that 
 Monsieur de Turenne, otherwise very particular in such mat- 
 ters, thanked him, when the battle was over, in the presence 
 of all his officers, and despatched him to court with the first 
 news of his success. 
 
 All that is generally necessary in these expeditions, is to be 
 accustomed to hard riding, and to be well provided with fresh 
 horses, but he had a great many other obstacles to surmount. 
 In the first place, the parties of the enemy were dispersed over 
 all the country, and obstructed his passage. Then he had 
 to prepare against greedy and officious courtiers, who, on 
 such occasions, post themselves in all the avenues, in order 
 to cheat the poor courier out of his news. However, his 
 address preserved him from the one, and deceived the 
 others. 
 
 He had taken eight or ten troopers, commanded by an 
 
72 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 officer of his acquaintance, to escort him half way to Bapaume * 
 being persuaded that the greatest danger would lie between 
 the camp and the first stage. He had not proceeded a league 
 before he was convinced of the truth of what he suspected, and 
 turning to the officer who followed him closely, " If you are 
 not well mounted," said he, " I would advise you to return to 
 the camp ; for my part, I shall set spurs to my horse, and make 
 the best of my way." " Sir," said the officer, " I hope I shall 
 be able to keep you company, at whatever rate you go, until 
 you are out of all danger." " I doubt that," replied the Cheva- 
 lier, "for those gentlemen there seem prepared to pay us a 
 visit." " Don't you see," said the officer, " they are some of 
 our own people who are grazing their horses ?" " No," said 
 the Chevalier ; " but I see very well that they are some of the 
 enemy's troopers." Upon which, observing to him that they 
 were mounting, he ordered the horsemen that escorted him to 
 prepare themselves to make a diversion, and he himself set off 
 full speed towards Bapaume. 
 
 He was mounted upon a very swift English horse ; but hav- 
 ing entangled himself in a hollow way where the ground was 
 deep and miry, he soon had the troopers at his heels, who, sup- 
 posing him to be some officer of rank, would not be deceived, 
 but continued to pursue him without paying any attention to 
 the others. The best mounted of the party began to draw near 
 him ; for the English horses, swift as the wind on even ground, 
 proceeded but very indifferently in bad roads ; the trooper pre- 
 sented his carbine, and cried out to him, at some distance* 
 " Good quarter." The Chevalier de Grammont, who perceived 
 
 *A fortified town in Artois, seated in a barren country, without 
 rivers or springs, and having an old palace, which gave rise to the town, 
 with a particular governor of its own, a royal and forest court. In 1641 
 the French took it from the Spaniards. 
 
MEMOIES OF COUNT GKAMMONT. 73 
 
 that they gained upon him, and that whatever efforts his horse 
 made in such heavy ground, he must be overtaken at last, 
 immediately quitted the road to Bapaume, and took a cause- 
 way to the left, which led quite a different way ; as soon as 
 he had gained it, he drew up, as if to hear the proposal of the 
 trooper, which afforded his horse an opportunity of recovering 
 himself ; while his enemy, mistaking his intention, and think- 
 ing that he only waited to surrender, immediately exerted 
 every effort, that he might take him before the rest of his com- 
 panions, who were following, could arrive, and by this means 
 almost killed his horse. 
 
 One minute's reflection made the Chevalier consider what a 
 disagreeable adventure it would be, thus coming from so 
 glorious a victory, and the dangers of a battle so warmly dis 
 puted, to be taken by a set of scoundrels who had not been in 
 it, and, instead of being received in triumph, and embraced by 
 a great queen, for the important news with which he was 
 charged, to see himself stripped by the vanquished. 
 
 During this short meditation, the trooper who followed him 
 was arrived within shot, and still presenting his carbine, offered 
 him good quarter, but the Chevalier de Grammont, to whom 
 this offer, and the manner in which it was made, were equally 
 displeasing, made a sign to him to lower his piece ; and per- 
 ceiving his horse to be in wind, he lowered his hand, rode off 
 like lightning, and left the trooper in such astonishment that 
 he even forgot to fire at him. 
 
 As soon as he arrived at Bapaume, he changed horses ; the 
 commander of this place showed him the greatest respect, as- 
 suring him that no person had yet passed ; that he would keep 
 the secret, and that he would retain all that followed him, ex- 
 cept the couriers of Monsieur de Turenne. 
 
 He now had only to guard against those who would be 
 
74 MEMOIES OF COUNT CxEAMMONT. 
 
 watching for liim about the environs of Peronne, to return as 
 soon as tliey saw him, and carry his news to court, without 
 being acquainted with any of the particulars. He knew very 
 well that Marshal du Plessis, Marshal de Yilleroy, and Ga- 
 boury, had boasted of this to the Cardinal before his departure.. 
 A^Hierefore, to elude tliis snare, he hired two well-mounted 
 liorsemen at Bapaume, and as soon as he had got a league from 
 that place, and after giving them each two louis d'ors, to secure 
 their fidelity, he ordered them to ride on before, to appear very 
 much terrified, and to tell all those who should ask them any 
 questions, " that all was lost, that the Chevalier de Grammont 
 had stopped at Bapaume, having no great inclination to be the 
 messenger of ill news ; and that as for themselves, they had 
 been pursued by the enemy's troopers, who were spread over 
 the whole country since the defeat." 
 
 Everything succeeded to his wish : the horsemen were in- 
 tercepted by Gaboury, whose eagerness had outstripped the 
 two marshals ; but whatever questions were asked them, they 
 acted their parts so well, that Peronne was already in con- 
 sternation, and rumours of the defeat were whispered among 
 the courtiers, when the Chevalier de Grammont arrived. 
 
 N'othing so enhances the value of good news, as when a 
 false alarm of bad has preceded ; yet, though the Chevalier's 
 was accompanied with this advantage, none but their Ma- 
 jesties received it with that transport of joy it deserved. 
 
 The queen kept her promise to him in the most fascinating 
 manner : she embraced him before the whole court ; the king 
 appeared no less delighted ; but the Cardinal, whether with 
 the view of lessening the merit of an action which deserved a 
 handsome reward, or whether it was from a return of that 
 insolence which always accompanied him in prosperity, 
 appeared at first not to pay any attention to what he said, and 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 75 
 
 being afterwards informed that the lines had been forced, that 
 the Spanish army was beaten, and that Arras was relieved : 
 " Is the Prince de Conde taken ?" said he. " No," replied the 
 Chevalier de Grammont. " He is dead then, I suppose ?" said 
 the Cardinal. "Not so, neither," answered the Chevalier. 
 " Fine news indeed !" said the Cardinal, with an air of con- 
 tempt ; and at these words he went into the queen's cabinet 
 with their majesties. And happy it was for the Chevalier 
 that he did so, for without doubt he would have given him 
 some severe reply,* in resentment for those two fine questions, 
 and the conclusion he had drawn from them. 
 
 The court was filled with the Cardinal's spies : the Cheva- 
 lier, as is usual on such an occasion, was surrounded by a 
 crowd of courtiers and inquisitive people, and he was very 
 glad to ease himseK of some part of the load which laid heavy 
 on his heart, within the hearing of the Cardinal's creatures, 
 and which he would perhaps have told him to his face. 
 " Faith, gentlemen," said he, with a sneer, " there is nothing- 
 like being zealous and eager in the service of kings and great 
 princes : you have seen what a gTacious reception his Majesty 
 has given me ; you are likewise witnesses in what an obliging 
 manner the queen kept her promise with me ; but as for the 
 Cardinal, he has received my news as if he gained no more by 
 it than he did by the death of Peter Mazarin."-)- 
 
 * This spirit seems not always to have attended him in his trans- 
 actions with the Cardinal. On occasion of the entry of the king in 1660r 
 "Le Chevalier de Grammont, Eouville, Bellefonds, and some other 
 courtiers, attended in the cardinal's suite, a degree of flattery which 
 astonished everybody who knew him. I was informed that the Cheva- 
 lier wore a very rich orange-coloured dress on that occasion." Lettres 
 de Maintenon, tome i. p. 32. 
 
 t Peter Mazarin was father to the Cardinal. He was a native of 
 Palermo in Sicily, which place he left in order to settle at Eome, where 
 he died in the year 1654. 
 
76 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 This was sufficient to terrify all those who were sincerely 
 attached to him ; and the best established fortune would have 
 been ruined at some period by a jest much less severe : for it 
 was delivered in the presence of witnesses, who were only 
 desirous of having an opportunity of representing it in its ut- 
 most malignancy, to make a merit of their vigilance with a 
 powerful and absolute minister. Of this the Chevalier de 
 Grammont was thoroughly convinced ; yet whatever detri- 
 ment he foresaw might arise from it, he could not help being 
 much pleased with wliat he had said. 
 
 The spies very faithfully discharged their duty : however, 
 the affair took a very different turn from what they expected. 
 The next day, when the Chevalier de Grammont was present 
 while their Majesties were at dinner, the Cardinal came in, 
 and coming up to liim, everybody making way for him out of 
 respect : " Chevalier," said he, " the news which you have 
 brought is very good, their Majesties are very well satisfied 
 with it ; and to convince you it is more advantageous to me 
 than the death of Peter Mazarin, if you will come and dine 
 with me we will have some play together ; for the queen will 
 give us something to play for, over and above her first 
 promise." 
 
 In this manner did the Chevalier de Grammont dare to 
 provoke a powerful minister, and this was all the resentment 
 which the least vindictive of all statesmen expressed on the 
 occasion. It was indeed very unusual for so young a man to 
 reverence the authority of ministers no farther, than as they 
 were themselves respectable by their merit ; for this, his own 
 breast, as well as the whole court, applauded him, and he en- 
 joyed the satisfaction of being the only man who durst pre- 
 serve the least shadow of liberty, in a general state of servi- 
 tude ; but it was perhaps owing to the Cardinal's passing over 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 7T 
 
 this insult with impunity, that he afterwards drew upon him- 
 self some difficulties, by other rash expressions less fortunate 
 in the event. 
 
 In the mean time the court returned : the Cardinal, who- 
 was sensible that he could no longer keep his master in a 
 state of tutelage, being himself worn out with cares and sick- 
 ness, and having amassed treasures he knew not what to do 
 with, and being sufficiently loaded with the weight of public 
 odium, he turned all his thoughts towards terminating, in a 
 manner the most advantageous for France, a ministry wliich 
 had so cruelly shaken that kingdom. Thus, while he was 
 earnestly laying the foundations of a peace so ardently wished 
 for, pleasure and plenty began to reign at court. 
 
 The Chevalier de Grammont experienced for a long time a 
 variety of fortune in love and gaming : he was esteemed by 
 the courtiers, beloved by beauties whom he neglected, and a 
 dangerous favourite of those whom he admired ; more succes- 
 ful in play than in his amours ; but the one indemnifying him 
 for want of success in the other, he was always full of life and 
 spirits ; and in all transactions of importance, always a man 
 of honour. 
 
 It is a pity that we must be forced here to interrupt the 
 course of his history, by an interval of some years, as has 
 been already done at the commencement of these memoirs. 
 In a life where the most minute circumstances are always 
 singular and diverting, we can meet with no chasm which 
 does not afford regret ; but whether he did not think them 
 worthy of holding a place among his other adventures, or that 
 he has only preserved a confused idea of them, we must 
 pass to the parts of these fragments which are better ascer- 
 tained, that we may arrive at the subject of his journey to 
 England. 
 
78 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 The peace of the Pyrenees * the king's maiTiage,t the 
 return of the Prince cle Conde,t and the death of the Car- 
 dinal, gave a new face to the state. The eyes of the whole 
 nation were fixed upon their king, who, for nobleness of mien, 
 and gracefulness of person, had no equal ; but it was not then 
 known that he was possessed of those superior abilities, which, 
 filling his subjects with admiration, in the end made him so 
 formidable to Europe. Love and ambition, the invisible 
 springs of the intrigues and cabals of all courts, attentively 
 observed his first steps : pleasure promised herself an absolute 
 empire over a prince who had been kept in ignorance of the 
 necessary rules of government, and ambition had no hopes of 
 reigning in the court except in the minds of those who were 
 able to dispute the management of affairs ; when men were 
 surprised to see the king on a sudden display such brilliant 
 abilities, which prudence, in some measure necessary, had so 
 long obliged him to conceal. 
 
 An application, inimical to the pleasures which generally 
 attract that age, and wdiicli unlimited power very seldom 
 refuses, attached him solely to the cares of government : all 
 admired this wonderful change, but all did not find their 
 account in it: the great lost their consequence before an 
 absolute master, and the courtiers approached with reverential 
 awe the sole object of their respects and the sole master of 
 their fortunes : those who had conducted themselves like 
 petty tyrants in their provinces, and on the frontiers, were 
 now no more than governors : favours, according to the king's 
 
 * This treaty was concluded Vth November, 1659. 
 
 t Louis XIV. with Maria Theresa of Austria. She »was born 20th 
 September, 1638, married 1st June, 1660, and entered Paris 26th 
 August following. She died at Versailles 30th July, 1683, and was 
 buried at St. Denis. 
 
 X 11th April. — See De Retz's Memoirs^ vol. iii. p, 119. 
 
X. ()\TIS TMIE T DT'T.TlKlilT^^TII. 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 79 
 
 pleasure, were sometimes conferred on merit, and sometimes 
 for services done the state ; but to importune, or to menace 
 the court, was no longer the method to obtain them. 
 
 The Chevalier de Grammont regarded his master's attention 
 to the affairs of state as a prodigy: he could not conceive 
 how he could submit at his age to the rules he prescribed 
 himself, or that he should give up so many hours of pleasure, 
 to devote them to the tiresome duties, and laborious functions 
 of government ; but he blessed the Lord that henceforward 
 no more homage was to be paid, no more court to be 
 made, but to him alone, to whom they were justly due. Dis- 
 daining as he did the servile adoration usually paid to a 
 minister, he could never crouch before the power of the two 
 Cardinals who succeeded each other: he neither worshipped 
 the arbitrary power of the one, nor gave his approbation to the 
 artifices of the other ; he had never received anything from 
 Cardinal Eichelieu but an abbey, which, on account of his 
 rank, could not be refused him ; and he never acquired 
 anything from Mazarin but what he won of him at play. 
 
 By many years' experience under an able general he had 
 acquired a talent for war ; but this during a general peace was 
 of no further service to him. He therefore thought that, in 
 the midst of a court flourishing in beauties and abounding in 
 wealth, he could not employ himself better than in endeavour- 
 ing to gain the good opinion of his master, in making the best 
 use of those advantages which nature had given him for play, 
 and in putting in practice new stratagems in love. 
 
 He succeeded very well in the two first of these projects, 
 and as he had from that time laid it down as the rule of his 
 conduct to attach himself solely to the king in all his views of 
 preferment,~to have no regard for favour unless when it was 
 supported by merit, to make himself beloved by the courtiers 
 
80 - MEMOIKS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 and feared by the minister, to dare to undertake anything in 
 order to do good, and to engage in nothing at the expense of 
 innocence, he soon became one in all the king's parties of 
 pleasure, without gaining the ill will of the courtiers. In 
 play he was successful, in love unfortunate ; or, to speak more 
 ])roperly, his restlessness and jealousy overcame his natural 
 prudence, in a situation wherein he had most occasion for it. 
 La Motte Agencourt was one of the maids of honour to the 
 queen dowager, and, though no sparkling beauty, she had 
 drawn away lovers from the celebrated Meneville.* It was 
 sufficient in those days for the king to cast his eye upon a 
 young lady of the court to inspire her with hopes, and often 
 with tender sentiments ; but if he spoke to her more than 
 once, the courtiers took it for granted, and those who had 
 either pretensions to, or love for her, respectfully withdrew 
 both the one and the other, and afterwards only paid her 
 respect ; but the Chevalier de Grammont thought fit to act 
 quite otherwise, perhaps to preserve a singularity of character,, 
 wliich upon the present occasion was of no avail. 
 
 He had never before thought of her, but as soon as he found 
 
 * These two ladies at this period seem to have made a distinguished 
 figure in the annals of gallantry. One of their contemporaries mentions 
 them in these terms : " In this case, perhaps, I can give a better 
 account than most people ; as, for instance, they had raised a report, 
 when the queen-mother expeUed Mademoiselle de la Motte Agen- 
 court, that it was on his score, when I am assured, upon very good 
 gi'ounds, that it was for entertaining the Marquis de Eichelieu against 
 her majesty's express command. This lady, who was one of her maids 
 of honour, was a person whom I was particularly acquainted with ; and 
 that so much, as I was supposed to have a passion for her : she was 
 counted one of the finest women of the court, and therefore I was not 
 at all displeased to have it thought so ; for except Mademoiselle de 
 Meneville, (who had her admirers,) there was none that could pretend 
 to dispute it." Memoirs of the Gomte de liochfort, 1696, p. 210. See 
 also Anquetil, Louis X VI. sa Gour et le Kejentj tome i. p. 46. 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GEAMMONT. 81 
 
 that she was honoured with the king's attention, he was of 
 opinion that she was likewise cleser\T.ng of his. Having 
 attached himself to her, he soon became very troublesome, 
 without convincing her he was much in love. She grew 
 weary of his persecutions, but he would not desist, neither on 
 account of her ill-treatment nor of her threats. This conduct 
 of his at first made no great noise, because she was in hopes 
 that he would change his behaviour ; but finding him raslily 
 persist in it, she complained of him : and then it was that he 
 perceived that if love renders all conditions equal, it is not so 
 between rivals. He was banished the court, and not finding 
 any place in France which could console him for what he most 
 regretted — the presence and sight of his prince — after having 
 made some slight reflections upon his disgrace, and bestowed 
 a few imprecations against her who was the cause of it, he 
 at last formed the resolution of \dsiting England. 
 
82 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 OHAPTEK VT: 
 
 Curiosity to see a man equally famous for his crimes and his 
 elevation, had once before induced the Chevalier de Grammont 
 to visit England. Keasons of state assume great privileges. 
 Wliatever appears advantageous is lawful, and everything that 
 is necessary is honourable in politics. While the King of 
 England sought the protection of Spain in the Low Countries, 
 and that of the States-General in Holland, other powers sent 
 splendid embassies to Cromwell. 
 
 This man, whose ambition had opened him a way to sove- 
 reign power by the greatest crimes, maintained himself in it 
 by accomplishments which seemed to render him worthy of it 
 by their lustre. The nation, of all Europe the least submis- 
 sive, patiently bore a yoke which did not even leave her the 
 shadow of that liberty of which she is so jealous ; and Crom- 
 well, master of the Commonwealth, under the title of Protector, 
 feared at home, but yet more dreaded abroad, was at his 
 highest pitch of glory when he was seen by the Chevalier de 
 Grammont ; but the Chevalier did not see any appearance of 
 a court. One part of the nobility proscribed, the other 
 removed from employments ; an affectation of purity of man- 
 ners, instead of the luxury which the pomp of courts displays. 
 
v^ ") A.'^j'Y :e,ir r 111 o iNi -^\- -1^, T,ii;, 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 83 
 
 all taken together, presented nothing but sad and serious 
 objects in the finest city in the world; and therefore the 
 Chevalier acquired nothing by this voyage but the idea of 
 some merit in a profligate man, and the admiration of some 
 concealed beauties he had found means to discover. 
 
 Affairs wore quite a different appearance at his second voyage. 
 The joy for the restoration of the royal family still appeared 
 in all parts. The nation, fond of change and novelty, tasted 
 the pleasure of a natural government, and seemed to breathe 
 again after a long oppression. In short, the same people who, 
 by a solemn abjuration, had excluded even the posterity of 
 their lawful sovereign, exhausted themselves in festivals and 
 rejoicings for his return.* 
 
 The Chevalier de Grammont arrived about two years after 
 the restoration. The reception he met with in this court soon 
 made him forget the other ; and the enoao'ements he in the 
 end contracted in England lessened the regret he had in 
 leaving France. 
 
 This was a desirable retreat for an exile of his disposition 
 
 * Bishop Burnet confirms this account. " With the restoration of the 
 king," says he, " a spirit of extravagant joy spread over the nation, that 
 brought on with it the throwing off the very professions of virtue and 
 - piety. All ended in entertainments and drunkenness which overrun the 
 three kingdoms to such a degree, that it very much corrupted all their 
 morals. Under the colour of drinking the king's health, there were 
 great disorders, and much riot everywhere : and the pretences of religion, 
 both in those of the hypocritical sort, and of the more honest, but no 
 less pernicious enthusiasts, gave gTeat advantages, as well as they fur- 
 nished much matter to the profane mockers of true piety." — History of 
 his own Times, vol. i. p. 127, 8vo. edit. Voltaire says, King Charles " was 
 received at Dover by twenty thousand of his subjects, who fell upon 
 their knees before him ; and I have been told by some old men who 
 were of this number, that hardly any of those who were present could 
 refrain from tears." Age of Louis XIV., chap. 5. 
 
 6—2 
 
84 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GEAMMONT. 
 
 Everything flattered liis taste, and if tlie adventures he had in 
 this country were not the most considerable, they were at 
 least the most agreeable of his life. But before we relate 
 them it will not be improper to give some account of the 
 English court, as it was at that period. 
 
 The necessity of ajffairs had exposed Charles II. fi'om his 
 earliest youth to the toils and perils of a bloody war. The 
 fate of the king his father had left him for inheritance nothing 
 but his' misfortunes and disgraces. They overtook him every- 
 whei^; butit was not until he.- had struggled with his ill- 
 fortune to the last extremity that'^hef submitted to the decrees 
 of Providence. . ' . , • 
 
 All those who were either gxeat on account of their birth 
 or th&irvloyalty had' followed him into exile ; and all the young 
 persons. of the gi-eatest distinction haying afterwards joined 
 him, composed a court worthy of a better fate. 
 
 Plenty and prosperity, wliich are thought to tend only to 
 corrupt manners, found nothing to si)oil in an indigent and 
 wandering court. Necessity, x)n the contrary, which produces 
 a thousand advantages whether we will or no, served them for 
 education ; and notliing was to be seen among them but an 
 emulation in glory, politeness, and virtue. 
 
 With this little court, in such high esteem for merit, the 
 King of England returned two years prior to the period we 
 mention, to ascend a throne which, to all appearances, he was 
 to fill as worthily as the most glorious of his predecessors. 
 The magnificence displayed on this occasion was renewed at his 
 coronation.^ 
 
 * There is some reason to believe that the Count de Gramniont, whose 
 circumstances at his lirst arrival at the court of Britain were inferior to 
 his rank, endeavoured to distinguish himself by his literary acquire- 
 ments. A scarce little book, in Latin and French, upon the coronation, 
 has been ascribed to him with some probability. The initials subscribed 
 
SvJ' ZUy I 
 
 
 A::^~y iT'r:D:K , :rj t^ riii t: 5 ^5 :o;f y.oi;<:k 
 
 1 
 
• i 
 
IE AlEI. (D IF (T iL ^^IR ]E. B'X) © Ef 
 
_2". ScrCvcTL tT. 
 
 V. n a:rz.i^^ .^ T Ti '^, § :k, v. © 3^ :S) 
 
C A T B A J^^ J. I^ . K IP F J> yK A. G A3 2, A . 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 85 
 
 in different places of the work are P. D. C, wliich may correspond to 
 Philibert de Cramont, in wliich manner the family name was often 
 spelt ; and the dedication seems to apply accurately to the count s 
 circumstances. The full title runs : — 
 
 " Complementum Fortunatarum Insulanim, sive Galathea Vaticinans; 
 being part of an epithalamium upon the auspicious match of the most 
 puissant and most serene Charles II., and the most illustrious Catharina, 
 Infanta of Portugal ; with a description of the Fortunate Islands. 
 "Written originally in French, by P. D. C, Gent.,* and since translated 
 by him into Latin and English. With the translations also of the 
 Description of S. James's Park, and the late Fight at S. Lucar, by Mr. 
 Edmund Waller ; the Panegjn^ic of Charles the Second, by Mr. Dryden; 
 and other pieces relating to the present times. London, printed by 
 W. G., 1662. 
 
 It is dedicated to James Boteler, Earl of Ossory, Viscount Thorle, 
 afterwards Duke of Ormond, previous to his going to Ireland,t which 
 dedication concludes thus; "The utmost height of my ambition, and 
 the utmost scope of my design at present, my lord, is only since I have 
 no other means left me to provide for my attendance upon your lordship 
 and the heads of your honom-able family, in this your journey, that 
 you will be pleased to accept of me, in this slender garb, being every 
 way otherwise disappointed by the frowns of fortune, and so unfit to 
 pretend admittance in so splendid a train ; unless it be 
 
 Nelle scorta di Febo, che a vos s'inchina, 
 
 Tutta ridente, tutta di scherzi plena. 
 
 But, my lord, my own words on another occasion : 
 • Si, quelque jour, la Fortune 
 
 Met en plus grahde liberte 
 Mon Genie persecute 
 Des rigueurs de cette importune, — 
 Peut-etre d'un burin plus sure 
 Et d'un vers rempli de douceur — 
 D'Ormond j'entreprendrai I'image ; 
 
 * The state of his fortune at this period not allowing the splendour of 
 a, French nobleman, he was only considered a private gentleman, and 
 this he hints at in the dedication that follows. 
 
 t Philibert, Count Grammont married the Duke of Ormond's sister. 
 
8(> MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 Et dans les beaux exploits de tous ses d^scendans 
 La d^peiudrai si bien que la plus fi^re rage 
 Eespectera ses traits jusqu'a la fin des temps. 
 This is the vow, this is the serious wish of him, my lord, who desires, 
 for no better end, to be once again restored to the state of his former 
 fortune, than to become thereby more ready and capable to wait here- 
 after on your lordship otherwise than by his pen, and so declare, by some 
 more real deed than poetical expressions, how unfeignedly he is, 
 
 My lord, 
 
 Your lordship's 
 Most true and most devoted servant, 
 P. D. C. 
 
 The contents of this book consist chiefly of poetry of a complimentary 
 nature. The following well-known lines of Waller's, on Westminster 
 Abbey, he has given with much taste : — 
 
 " From hence he does that antique pile behold, 
 Where royal heads receive the sacred gold ; 
 It gives them crowns, and does their ashes keep ; 
 There made like gods, like mortals there they sleep." 
 
 " Passant plus outre il voit la chapelle oil nos rois 
 E-eeoivent Tor sacree, et leur gardant les loix ; 
 La terre aussi sacree ^galement leur donne 
 La droit de sepulture et la droit de couronne." 
 
 The contents of the volume are : — 
 
 A Song of the Sea Nymph Galatea, upon the marriage of Charles II. 
 and the Princess Infanta of Portugal, (15 stanzas of ten lines each). 
 
 The same in Latin. 
 
 The same in French. 
 
 St. James's Park, by Waller, in English, French, and Latin. 
 
 Of the late War w4th Spain, 1657, and our Victory at St. Lucar, near 
 Cadiz, by the same, in English and French. 
 
 On his sacred Majesty's Coronation, by Dryden, English and French. 
 
 The Fortunate Islands, being part of a larger poem written formerly 
 in French, upon the happy inauguration of Charles II. — By P. D. C.^ 
 and since by him translated in English and Latin. Dedicated to his 
 dear friend Edmund Waller, Esq., with a specimen of an English 
 version. 
 
 Another dedication : "" To Prince Eupert, as a monument of his 
 
jD)UK"E. DIF GrlOr^jE.3T:E."K 
 
MEMOIES OF COUNT GEAMMONT. 8 '7 
 
 The death of the Duke of G-loiicester,* and of the Princes.s 
 
 devoted respects and due esteem of his Highness's celebrated virtues and 
 great experience in sea voyages ; and as a deserved acknowledgment of 
 his Highness's indefatigable endeavours in promoting English planta- 
 tions, P, D. C. humbly dedicates this Pindaric Rapture : being part of 
 his poem of the Fortunate Islands, formerly written in French, and 
 addressed to the King's Majesty upon the solemnity of his auspicious 
 coronation." — 25 Stanzas of ten lines each. 
 
 The same in Latin. 
 
 The King's excursion on the Thames, July anno 1661 ; An extem- 
 pore Ode, " To the great and illustrious William, Earl of Devonshire, 
 the noble and judicious Maecenas of polite literature ; P. D. C dedi- 
 cates it in obedient and grateful testimony," &c. 
 
 A short Ode of about 60 lines. 
 
 If we are correct in imputing this work to Grammont, he must have 
 been in England at the time of the Coronation, which agrees tolerably 
 with the vague expression in the text that he arrived about two years 
 after the Restoration. For this ceremony did not take place until after 
 the deaths of the Duke of Gloucester and the Princess of Orange. It 
 was celebrated 22d and 23d April, 1661, with uncommon magnificence; 
 the whole show as Lord Clarendon observes, being the most glorious 
 in the order and expence, that had ever been seen in England. The pro- 
 cession began from the Tower, and continued so long, that they who 
 rode first were in Fleet-street when the king issued from the Tower. 
 The whole ceremonial took up two days. See Continuation of Claren- 
 don, p. 29. Kennefs Register, 411. 
 
 * This event took place September 3rd, 1660. He died of the small- 
 pox. " Though mankind," as Mr. Macpherson observes, " are apt to 
 exaggerate the virtues of princes who happen to die in early youth, 
 their praises seem to have done no more than justice to the character of 
 Gloucester. He joined in himself the best qualities of both his brothers: 
 the understanding and good-nature of Charles, to the industry and 
 application of James. The facility of the first, was in him a judicious 
 moderation. The obstinacy of the latter, was in Gloucester a manly 
 firmness of mind. Attached to the religion, and a friend to the con- 
 stitution of his country, he was most regretted, when his family regarded 
 these the least. The vulgar, who crowd with eminent virtues and 
 great actions the years which fate denies to their favourites, foresaw^ 
 future misfortunes in his death ; and' even the judicious supposed that 
 the measures of Charles might have derived solidity from his judgment 
 
88 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 Royal,^ whicli followed soon after, had intermpted the course 
 of this splendour by a tedious mourning, which they quitted 
 at last to prepare for the reception of the Infanta of Portugal.f 
 
 and promising parts. The king lamented liis death with all the vehe* 
 mence of an affectionate sorrow." The Duke of York was much 
 affected with the loss of a brother, whose high merit he much admired. 
 "He was a prince," says James, " of the greatest hopes, undaunted 
 courage, admirable parts, and a clear understanding." He had a par- 
 ticular talent 'at languages. Besides the Latin,' he was master of the 
 French, the Spanish, the Italian, and Low Dutch. He was, in short, 
 possessed of all the natural qualities, as well as acquired accomplish- 
 ments, necessary to make a great prince. MacpliersorCs History of 
 Great Britain, ch . 1 . Bishop Burnet's character of this young prince 
 is also very favourable. See History of his Oivn Times, vol. i. p. 238. 
 * Mary, eldest daugliter of Charles L, born" November 4th, 1631, 
 married to the Prince of Orange, 2nd May, 1641, who died 27th October, 
 1650. She arrived in England, SejDtember 23rd, and died of the small- 
 pox, December 24th, 1660, — according to Bishop Burnet, not much 
 lamented. "^ She had lived," says the author, " in her-widowhood for 
 some years with great reputation, kept a decent court, and supported 
 her broth ei-s very liberally ; and lived within bounds. But her mother, 
 Avho had the art of making herself believe anything she had a mind 
 to, upon a conversation with the queen-mother of France, fancied the 
 King of France might be inclined to marry her. So she wrote to her to 
 come to Paris. In order to that, she made an equipage far above what 
 she could support. So she ran herself into debt, sold all her jewels, 
 and some estates that were in her power as her son's guardian ; and 
 was not only disappointed of that vain expectation, but fell into some 
 misfortunes that lessened the reputation she had formerly lived in." 
 History of Ms Own Times, vol. i., p. 238. She was mother of 
 Wniiam III. 
 
 t " The Infanta, of Portugal landed in May (1662) at Portsmouth. 
 The king went thither, and was married privately by Lord Aubigny, a 
 secular priest, and almoner to the queen, according to the rites of Pome, 
 in the queen's chamber ; none present but the Portuguese ambassador, 
 three more Portuguese of quality, and two or three Portuguese women. 
 What made this necessary was, that the Earl of Sandwich did not 
 marry her by proxy, as usual, before she came away. How this hap- 
 
3 i^i T^MAx^ 
 
. 
 
 I 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 89 
 
 It was in the height of the rejoicings they were making for 
 this new queen, in all the splendour of a brilliant court, that 
 the Chevalier de Grammont arrived to contribute to its mag- 
 nificence and diversions. 
 
 Accustomed as he was to the grandeur of the court of 
 France, lie was surprised at the politeness and splendour of 
 the court of England. The king was inferior to none,^ either 
 in shape or air ; his wit was pleasant ; his disposition easy 
 and affable ; his soul, susceptible of opposite impressions, was 
 compassionate to the unhappy, inflexible to the wicked, and 
 tender even to excess ; he showed great abilities in urgent 
 affairs, but was incapable of application to any that were not 
 so : his heart was often the dupe, but oftener the slave, of his 
 engagements. 
 
 The character of the Duke of Yorkf was entirely different : 
 
 pened, the duke knows not, nor did the chancellor know of this private 
 marriage. The queen would not be bedded, till pronounced man a?".d 
 wife by Sheldon, bishop of London." — Extract 2, from King James 
 II. 's Journal. — Macj^herson^ s State Papers, vol. i. In. the same col- 
 lection is a curious letter from the King to Lord Clarendon, giving his 
 opinion of the queen after having seen her. 
 
 * Charles II. was born 29th May, 1630, and died 6th February, 
 1684-5. His character is very amply detailed, and accurately depicted 
 by George Saville, Marquis of Halifax, in a volume published by his 
 granddaughter, the Countess of Burlington, 8vo., 1750. See also 
 Burnet, Clarendon, and Sheffield, Duke of Buckingham. 
 
 t James, Duke of York, afterwards King James II. He was born 
 15th October, 1633 ; succeeded his brother 6th Februar}^, 1684-5 ; 
 abdicated the crown in 1688 ; and died 6th September, 1701. Bishop 
 Burnet's character of him appears not very far from the truth. — ^' He 
 was," says this writer, " very brave in his youth ; and so much magni- 
 fied by Monsieur Turenne, that till his marriage lessened him, he 
 really clouded the king, and passed for the superior genius. He was 
 naturally candid and sincere, and a firm friend, till affairs and his 
 religion wore out all his first principles and inclinations. He had a 
 
DO MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 lie had the reputation of undaunted courage, an inviolable 
 attachment for his word, great economy in his affairs, hauteur, 
 application, arrogance, each in their turn : a scrupulous oh- 
 ser^•er of the rides of duty and the laws of justice ; he was 
 accounted a faithful friend, and an implacable enemy. 
 
 His morality and justice, struggling for some time with 
 ]U'ejudice, had at last triumphed, by his acknowledging for 
 his A\ife Miss Hyde,* maid of lionour to the Princess Eoyal,. 
 
 ;^reat desire to luiclerstand affaii-s : and in order to that he kept a con- 
 stant journal of all that passed, of which he showed me a great deal. 
 The Duke of Buckingham gave me once a short but severe character 
 of the two hrothei-s. It wjis the more severe, because it was true : the 
 king, (he said,) could see things if he would : and the duke would see 
 things if he could. He had no true judgment, and was soon deter- 
 mined by those whom he trusted : but he was obstinate against all 
 other advices. He was bred Avith high notions of kingly authority, 
 and laid it down for a maxim, that all who opposed the king were 
 rebels in their hearts. He was perpetually in one amour or othei-, 
 without being very nice in his choice : upon which the king once said, 
 he believed his brother had his mistress given him by his priests for 
 ])enance. He was naturally eager and revengeful : and was against 
 the taking off any, that set up in an opposition to the measures of the 
 coiu't, and who by that means grew popular in the house of com- 
 mons. He was for rougher methods. He continued many years 
 dissembling his religion, and seemed zealous for the church of Eng- 
 land, but it was chiefly on design to hinder all propositions, that 
 tended to unite us among ourselves. He was a frugal prince, and 
 brought his court into method and magnificence, for he had 100,000/. 
 a-year allowed him. He was made high admiral, and he came to 
 understand all the concerns of the sea ver}^ particularly." 
 
 * Miss Anne Hyde, eldest daughter of Lord Chancellor Clarendon. 
 King James mentions this marriage in these terms. — "The king at first 
 refused the Duke of York's marriage with Miss Hyde. Many of the 
 duke's friends and servants opposed it. The king at last consented, and 
 the Duke of York privately married her, and soon after owned the 
 marriage. Her want of birth was made up by endowments ; and her 
 
:D '[' K JE ■() ¥ (.) ILMM (J) PT jl .) 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 91 
 
 whom lie liad secretly married in Holland. Her father,* 
 from that time prime minister of England, supported by this 
 new interest, soon rose to the head of affairs, and had almost 
 ruined them : not that he wanted capacity, but he was too 
 self-sufficient. 
 
 The Duke of Ormond-f* possessed the coniidence and esteem 
 
 carriage afterwards became lier acquired dignity." Again. " When 
 his sister, the princess royal, came to Paris to see the queen-mother, the 
 Duke of York fell in love with Mrs. Anne Hyde, one of her maids of 
 honour. Besides her person, she had all the qualities proper to inflame 
 a heart less apt to take fire than his ; which she managed so well as ta 
 bring his passion to such an height, that, between the time he first saw 
 her and the winter before the king's restoration, he resolved to marry 
 none but her ; and promised her to do it : and though, at first, when 
 the duke asked the king his brother for his leave, he refused, and dis- 
 suaded him from it, yet at last he opposed it no more; and the duke 
 married her privately, owned it some time after, and was ever after a 
 true friend to the chancellor for several years." — MacpTierson' s State 
 Papers^ vol. i. 
 
 * Edward Hyde, Earl of Clarendon, " for his comprehensive know- 
 ledge of mankind, styled the chancellor of human nature. His charac- 
 ter, at this distance of time, may and ought to be impartially considered. 
 Designing or blinded contemporaries heaped the most unjust abuse upon 
 him. The subsequent age, when the partisans of prerogative were at 
 least the loudest, if not the most numerous, smit with a work that 
 defied their martyr, have been unbounded in their encomium." — Cata- 
 logue of Noble Author s^\q\.\\. p. 18. Lord Orford, who professes to 
 steer a middle course, and separate his great virtues as a man from his 
 faults as an historian, acknowledges that he possessed almost every 
 virtue of a minister which could make his character venerable. He died 
 in exile, in the year 1674. 
 
 t James Butler, Duke of Ormond, born 19th October, 1610, and died 
 21st July, 1688. Lord Clarendon, in the Continuation of his Life, 
 observes, that " he frankly engaged his person and his fortune in the 
 king's service, from the first hour^of the troubles, and pursued it with 
 courage and constancy, that when the king was murdered, and he 
 deserted by the Irish, contrary to the articles of peace which they had 
 
D2 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 c»f his master : the greatness of his services, the splendour of 
 liis merit and his birth, and the fortune he had abandoned in 
 adhering to the fate of his prince, rendered him worthy of it : 
 nor durst the courtiers even murmur at seeing him grand 
 steward of the household, first lord of the bed-chamber, and 
 lord-lieutenant of Ireland. He exactly resembled the Mar- 
 shal de Grammont, in the turn of his wit and the nobleness 
 of liis manners, and like liim was the honour of his master's 
 court. 
 
 made with him, and when he coiikl make no longer defence, he refused 
 all tlie conditions which Cromwell offered — who would have given him 
 his vixst estate if he would have been contented to live (j^uietly in some 
 of his own houses, without further concerning himself in the quarrel — 
 and transported himself, without so much as accepting a pass from his 
 authority, in a Uttle weak vessel into France, where he found the king, 
 from w^hom he never parted till he returned with him into England. 
 Having thus merited as much as a subject can do from a prince, he had 
 much more credit and esteem with the king than any other man." — 
 Continuation of the Life of Lord Clarendon, p. 4, fol. edit. Bishop 
 Burnet says of him, " he was a man every way fitted for a court ; of a 
 graceful appearance, a lively wit, and a cheerful temper ; a man of 
 great expence ; decent even in his vices, for he always kept np the form 
 of religion. He had gone through many transactions in Ireland with 
 more fidelity than success. He had made a treaty with the Irish, which 
 was broken by the great body of them, though some few of them adhered 
 stiU to him. But the whole Irish nation did still pretend, that though 
 they had broke the agreement first, yet he, or rather the king, in whose 
 name he had treated with them, was bound to perform all the articles 
 of the treaty. He had miscarried so in the siege of DubHn, that it 
 very much lessened the opinion of his military conduct. Yet his con- 
 stant attendance on his master, his easiness to him, and his great suff'er- 
 ing for him, raised him to be lord-steward of the household, and lord- 
 lieutenant of Ireland. He was firm to the Protestant religion, and so 
 far firm to the laws, that he always gave good advices ; but when bad 
 -ones were followed, he was not for complaining too much of them." — 
 History of His Oivn Times, vol. i., p. 230. 
 
"i ) Tr_^ WL je. C) :f ib t- t:' j^. :c i>^ ^i-z ..\. i^ i 
 
i 
 
icnycn j. 
 
 iriy 
 
 JF^JRItYr^ i^A. 
 
--a%. 
 
 MEMOIES OF CQ^Sr GRAMMONT. "'''9^^^ 
 
 The Duke of Buckingiiam^nd tlieElfiA©£!Sl|.i41b;a^M were' Z 
 the same in England as they^peared in France : the one full £■' 
 of wit and vivacity, dissipated, ^th^J*t splendour, an immejis^^ 
 estate upon which he had just en^^^^^^^&cM^iTj'^^rf of 
 no great genius, had raised himself a coS^l^fe^P^Sfe fortune 
 from nothing, and by losing at play, and keeping a great table, 
 made it appear greater than it was. 
 
 Sir George Berkeley,i afterwards Earl of Ealmoutli, was the 
 
 * " The Duke of Buckingham is again one hundred and forty thou- 
 sand pounds in debt ; and by this prorogation his creditors have time 
 to tear all his lands to pieces." — Andrew MarvelVs Works, 4to. edit., 
 vol. i. p. 406. 
 
 t Henry Jermyn, Earl of St. Albans, and Baron of St. Edmond's 
 Bury. He was master of the horse to Queen Henrietta, and one of the 
 privy-council to Charfes II. In July, 1660, he was sent ambassador to 
 the court of France, and, in 1671, was made lord-chamberlain of his 
 majesty's household. He died January 2, 1683. Sir John Eeresby 
 asserts that Lord St. Alban's was married to Queen Henrietta. " The 
 abbess of an English college in Paris, whither the queen used to retire, 
 would tell me," says Sir John, " that Lord Jermyn, since St. Alban's, 
 had the queen greatly in awe of him ; and indeed it was obvious that 
 he had great interest with her concerns ; but that he was married to 
 her, or had children by her, as some have reported, I did not then 
 believe, though the thing was certainly so."^ — Memoirs, p. 4. Madame 
 Baviere, in her letters, says, " Charles the First's widow made a clandes- 
 tine marriage with her chevalier d'honneur, Lord St. Alban's, who 
 treated her extremely ill, so that, whilst she had not a faggot to warm 
 herself, he had in his apartment a good fire and a sumptuous table. 
 He never gave the queen a kind word, and when she spoke to him he 
 used to say. Que me veut cettefemme .?" Hamilton hints at his selfish- 
 ness a little lower. 
 
 X This Sir George Berkeley, as he is here improperly called, was 
 Charles Berkley, second son of Sir Berkley, of Bruton, in Glou- 
 cestershire, and was the principal favourite and companion of the Duke 
 of York in all his campaigns. He was created Baron Berkley of Eath- 
 down, and Viscount Fitzharding of Ireland, and Baron Bottetort and 
 Earl of Falmouth in England, 17th March, 1664. He had the address 
 
M MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 €onlidant and favourite of the King : he commanded the Duke 
 of York's regiment of guards, and governed the Duke himself 
 He had nothing very remarkable either in his wit, or his 
 person ; but his sentiments were worthy of the fortune which 
 awaited him, when, on the very point of his elevation, he was 
 killed at sea. Never did disinterestedness so perfectly cha- 
 racterise the greatness of the soul : he had no views but what 
 
 to secure himself in the affections equally of the king and his brother 
 at the same time . Lord Clarendon, who seems to have conceived, and 
 with reason, a prejudice against him, calls him "a fellow of great 
 wickedness," and says, "he was one in whom few other men (except the 
 king) had ever observed any virtue or quality, which they did not wish 
 their best friends without. He was young, and of an insatiable ambi- 
 tion; and a little more experience might have taught him all things which 
 liis weak parts were capable of." — Clarendon^s Life, p. 34, 267. Bishop 
 Burnet, however, is rather more favourable. " Berkley," says he, " was 
 generous in his expence ; and it was thought if he had outlived the 
 lewdness of that time, and come to a more sedate course of life, he 
 v/ould have put the king on gi-eat and noble designs." — History, vol. i., 
 p. 137. He lost his life in the action at Southwold Bay, the 2nd June, 
 1665, by a shot, which, at the same time, killed Lord Muskerry and 
 Mr. Boyle, as they were standing on the quarter-deck, near the Duke 
 of York, who was covered with their blood. " Lord Falmouth," as 
 King James observes, " died not worth a farthing, though not expen- 
 sive." — MacpJierson^s State Pcqoers, vol. i. "He was, however, lamented 
 by the king with floods of tears, to the amazement of all who had 
 seen how unshaken he stood on other assaults of fortune." — Clarendon^s 
 Life, p. 269. Even his death did not save him from Marvell's satire. 
 Falmouth was there, I know not what to act, 
 Some say, 'twas to grow duke too by contract ; 
 An untaught bullet, in its wanton scope, 
 Dashes him all to pieces, and his hope : 
 Such was his rise, such was his fall uu praised, — 
 A chance shot sooner took him than chance raised ; 
 His shattered head the fearless duke disdains, 
 And gave the last first proof that he had brains. 
 
 A dvice to a Painter, p. i . 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 95 
 
 tended to the glory of his master : his credit was never em- 
 ployed but in advising him to reward services, or to confer 
 favours on merit : so polished in conversation, that the greater 
 Ms power, the greater was his humility; and so sincere in all 
 his proceedings, that he would never have been taken for a 
 courtier. 
 
 The Duke of Ormond's sons and his nephews had been in 
 the king's coart during his exile, and were far from diminish- 
 ing its lustre after his return. The Earl of Arran* had a sin- 
 gular address in all kinds of exercises, played well at tennis 
 -and on the guitar, and was pretty successful in gallantry : his 
 
 * Richard Butler, Earl of Arran, fifth son of James Butler, tlie 
 first Duke of Orruond. He was born 15tli July, 1639, and educated 
 with great care, being taught everything suitable to his birth, and the 
 great affection his parents had for him. As he grew up, he distin- 
 guished himself by a brave and excellent disposition, which determined 
 him to a military life. When the duke his father was first made lord- 
 lieutenant of Ireland, after the restoration, his majesty wa,s pleased, by 
 his letter, dated April 23, 1662, to create Lord Richard, Baron Butler 
 of Cloghgrenan, Viscount Tullogh, in the county of Catherlough, and 
 Earl of Arran, with remainder to his brother. In September, 1664, 
 he married Lady Mary Stuart, only surviving daughter of James, Duke 
 of Richmond and Lennox, by Mary, the only daughter of the great 
 Duke of Buckingham, who died in July, 1667, at the age of eighteen, 
 and was interred at Kilkenny. He distinguished himself in reducing 
 the mutineers at Carrick-Fergus, and behaved with great courage in the 
 famous sea-fight with the Dutch in 1673. In August that year, he was 
 created Baron Butler of Weston, in the county of Huntingdon. He 
 married, in the preceding June, Dorothy, daughter of John Ferrars of 
 Tamworth Castle, in Warwickshire, Esq. In 1682 he was constituted 
 lord-deputy of Ireland, upon his father's going over to England, and 
 held that office until August, 1684, when the duke returned. In the 
 year 1686, he died at London, and was interred in Westminster Abbey, 
 leaving an only daughter, Charlotte, who was married to Charles, Lord 
 Cornwallis. 
 
96 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 elder brother, tlie Earl of Ossory,^ was not so lively, but of 
 the most liberal sentiments, and of great probity. 
 
 The elder of the Hamiltons,f their cousin, was the man 
 who of all the court dressed best : he was well made in his 
 person, and possessed those happy talents which lead to for- 
 tune, and procure success in love : he was a most assiduous 
 
 * Thomas, Earl of Ossory, eldest sou of the first, and father of the 
 last Duke of Ormond, was born at Kilkenny, 8th July, 1634. At the 
 age of twenty-one years he had so much disthiguished himself, tliat Sir 
 Eobert Southwell then drew the following character of him : " He is a 
 young man with a very handsome face ; a good head of hair ; well set ; 
 very good natured ; rides the great horse very well ; is a very good 
 tennis-player, fencer, and dancer ; understands music, and plays on the 
 guitar and lute ; speaks French elegantly ; reads Italian fluently ; is a 
 good historian ; and so well versed in romances, that if a gallery be 
 full of pictures and hangings, he will tell the stories of all that are 
 there described. He shuts up his door at eight o'clock in the evening, 
 and studies till midnight : he is temperate, courteous, and excellent in 
 all his behavioui\" His death was occasioned by a fever, 30th July,. 
 1680, to the grief of his family and the public. 
 
 t Lord Orford, in a note on this passage, mentions George Hamilton, 
 and the author of this present work, as the persons here intended to be 
 pointed out ; and towards the conclusion of the volume has attempted 
 to disentangle the confusion occasioned by the want of particularly 
 distinguishing to which of the gentlemen the several adventures belong 
 in which their name occurs. The elder Hamilton, however, here de- 
 scribed, was, I conceive, neither George nor Anthony, but James Hamil- 
 ton, their brother, eldest son of Sir George Hamilton, fourth son of the 
 Earl of Abercorn, by Mary Butler, third sister to James the first Duke- 
 of Ormond. This gentleman was a great favourite of king Charles II.,. 
 who made him a groom of his bedchamber, and colonel of a regiment. 
 In an engagement with the Dutch he had one of his legs taken oif by 
 a cannon ball, of which wound he died 6th June, 1673, soon after he 
 was brought home, and was buried in Westminster Abbey. George 
 Hamilton was afterwards knighted, made a count in France, and mare- 
 chal-du-camp in that service. He married Miss Jennings, hereafter 
 mentioned, and died, according to Lodge, 1667, leaving issue by her^ 
 three daughters. 
 
:rir m^ i- 
 
 f;)"T^ITT]E§§ dPl © S S©:b^- 
 
MEMOIES OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 97 
 
 courtier, had the most lively vnt, the most polished manners, 
 and the most punctual attention to his master imaginable : 
 no person danced better, nor was any one a more general 
 lover : a merit of some account in a court entirely devoted to 
 love and gallantry. It is not at all surprising, that with these 
 qualities he succeeded my Lord Falmouth in the King's favour ; 
 but it is very extraordinary that he should have experienced 
 the same destiny, as if this sort of war had been declared 
 against merit only, and as if tliis sort of combat was fatal to 
 none but such as had certain hopes of a splendid fortune. 
 This, however, did not happen till some years afterwards. 
 The beau Sydney,"^ less dangerous than he appeared to be, 
 
 * Eobert Sydney, third son of the Earl of Leicester, and brother 
 of the famous Algernon Sydney, who was beheaded. This is Lord 
 Orford's account ; though, on less authority, I should have been in- 
 clined to have considered Henry Sydney, his younger brother, who was 
 afterwards created Earl of Eumney, and died 8th April, 1704, as the 
 person intended. There are some circumstances which seem particu- 
 larly to point to him. Burnet, speaking of him, says, "he was a 
 graceful man, and had lived long in the court, ivhere he had some 
 adventures that hecame very public. He was a man of a sweet and 
 caressing temper, had no malice in his heart, but too great a love of 
 pleasure. He had been sent envoy to Holland in the year 1679, where 
 he entered into such particular confidences with the prince, that he 
 had the highest measure of his trust and favour that any Englishman 
 ever had." — History of his Ovm Times, vol. ii,, p. 494. 
 
 In the Essay on Satire, by Dryden and Mulgrave, he is spoken of 
 in no very decent terms. 
 
 " And little Sid, for simile renown'd, 
 
 Pleasure has always sought, but never found : 
 
 Though all his thoughts on wine and women fall, 
 
 His are so bad, sure he ne'er thinks at all. 
 
 The flesh he lives upon is rank and strong ; 
 
 His meat and mistresses are kept too long. 
 
 But sure we all mistake this pious man, 
 
 Who mortifies his person all he can : 
 
 7 
 
98 MEMOIKSi OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 had not sufficient vivacity to support the impression which 
 his figure made ; but little Jermyn was on all sides successful 
 in his intrigues. The old Earl of St. Albans, his uncle, had 
 for a long time adopted liim, though the youngest of all his 
 nephews. It is well known what a table the good man kept 
 at Paris, wliile the Kinu: his master was starvino' at Brussels, 
 and the Queen Dowager, liis mistress,"^ lived not over well in 
 France. 
 
 What we uncharitably take for sin, 
 
 Are only rules of this odd capuchin ; 
 
 For never hermit, under grave pretence. 
 
 Has lived more contrary to common sense." 
 These verses, however, have been applied to Sir Charles Sedley, whose 
 name was originally spelt Sidley. Kobert Sydney died at Pens- 
 hurst, 1674. 
 
 * To what a miserable state the queen was reduced may be seen in 
 the following extract from De Eetz. — " Four or five days before the 
 king removed from Paris, I went to visit the Queen of England, whom 
 I found in her daughter's chamber, who hath been since Duchess of 
 Orleans. At my coming in she said, ^ You see I am come to keep 
 Henrietta company. The poor child could not rise to-day for want of 
 a lire.' The truth is, that the cardinal for six months together had not 
 ordered her any money towards her pension ; that no tradespeople 
 would trust her for anything ; and that there was not at her lodgings 
 in the Louvre one single billet. You will do me the justice to suppose 
 that the Princess of England did not keep her bed the next day for 
 want of a faggot ; but it was not this which the Princess of Conde 
 meant in her letter. What she spoke about was, that some days after 
 my visiting the Queen of England, I remembered the condition I had 
 found her in, and had strongly represented the shame of abandoning her 
 in that manner, which caused the parliament to send 40,000 li^rres to her 
 majesty. Posterity will hardly beheve that a Princess of England, 
 grand-daughter of Henry the Great, hath wanted a faggot, in the month 
 of January, to get out of bed in the Louvre, and in the eyes of a 
 French court. We read in histories, with horror, of baseness less 
 monstrous than this ; and the little concern I have met with about it 
 in most people's minds, has obliged me to make, I believe, a thousand 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GEAMMONT. 99 
 
 Jermyn,"^ supported by his uncle's wealth, found it no 
 difficult matter to make a considerable figure upon his arrival 
 at the court of the Princess of Orange : the poor courtiers of 
 the king her brother could not vie with him in point of equi- 
 page and magnificence ; and these two articles often produce 
 as much success in love as real merit : there is no necessity 
 for any other example than the present ; for though Jermyn 
 was brave, and certainly a gentleman, yet he had neither bril- 
 liant actions, nor distinguished rank, to set him off; and as 
 for his figure, there was nothing advantageous in it. He was 
 little: his head was large and his legs small; his features 
 were not disagreeable, but he was affected in his carriage and 
 
 times, this reflection, — that examples of times past move men beyond 
 comparison more than those of their own times. We accustom our- 
 selves to what we see ; and I have sometimes told you, that I doubted 
 whether Caligula's horse being made a consul would have surprised us 
 so much as we imagine." — Memoirs, vol. i., p. 261. As for the relative 
 situation of the king and Lord Jermyn, (afterwards St. Albans,) Lord 
 Clarendon says, that the " Marquis of Ormond was compelled to put 
 himseK in prison, with other gentlemen, at a pistole a-week for his 
 diet, and to walk the streets a-foot, which was no honourable custom in 
 Paris, whilst the Lord Jermyn kept an excellent table for those who 
 courted him, and had a coach of his own, and all other accommodations 
 incident to the most full fortune : and if the king had the most urgent 
 occasion for the use but of twenty pistoles, as sometimes he had, he 
 could not find credit to borrow it, which he often had experiment of." 
 — History of the Rehellion, vol. iii., p. 2. 
 
 * Henry Jermyn, younger son of Thomas, elder brother of the Earl 
 of St. Albans. He was created Baron Dover in 1685, and died with- 
 out children, at Cheveley, in Cambridgeshire, April 6, 1708. His corpse 
 was carried to Bruges, in Flanders, and buried in the monastery of the 
 CarmeUtes there. St. Evremond, who visited Mr. Jermyn at Cheveley, 
 says, " we went thither, and were very kindly received by a person, who 
 though he has taken his leave of the court, has carried the civility and 
 good taste of it into the country." — St. Evremond' s Works, vol. ii., p. 223. 
 
 7—2 
 
100 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 behaviour. All his wit consisted in expressions learnt by 
 rote, which he occasionally employed either in raillery, or in 
 love. This was the whole foundation of the merit of a man 
 so formidable in amours. 
 
 The Princess Koyal was the first who was taken with him :"^ 
 Miss Hyde seemed to be following the steps of her mis- 
 tress : this immediately brought him into credit, and his re- 
 putation was established in England before his arrival. Pre- 
 possession in the minds of women is sufficient to find access 
 to their hearts : Jermyn found them in dispositions so favour- 
 able for him, that he had nothing to do but to speak. 
 
 It was in vain they perceived that a reputation so lightly 
 established, was still more weakly sustained : the prejudice 
 remained: the Countess of Castlemaine,-|- a woman lively 
 
 * It was suspected of this princess to have had a similar engagement 
 with the Duke of Buckingham as the queen with Jermyn, and that was 
 the cause she would not see the Duke on his second voyage to Holland, 
 in the year 1652. 
 
 t This lady, who makes so distinguished a figure in the annals of 
 infamy, was Barbara, daughter and heir of William Villiers, Lord Vis- 
 count Grandison, of the kingdom of Ireland, who died in 1642, in 
 consequence of wounds received at the battle of Edgehill. She was 
 married, just before the restoration, to Eoger Palmer, Esq., then a 
 student in the Temple, and heir to a considerable fortune. In the 13th 
 year of King Charles II. he was created Earl of Castlemaine in the 
 kingdom of Ireland. She had a daughter, born in February, 1661, 
 while she cohabited with her husband ; but shortly after she became 
 the avowed mistress of the king, who continued his connection with 
 her until about the year 1672, when she was delivered of a daughter, 
 which was supposed to be Mr. Churchill's, afterwards Duke of Marl- 
 borough, and which the king disavowed. Her gallantries were by no 
 means confined to one or two, nor were they imknown to his majesty. 
 In the year 1670 she was created Baroness of Nonsuch, in Surrey, 
 Countess of Southampton, and Duchess of Cleveland, during her 
 natural life, with remainder to Charles and George Fitzroy, her eldest 
 and third son, and their heirs male. In July, 1705, her husband died, 
 
]DT^'r^liir8 8 OT 'rT,^TnEX,APrX), 
 
I>I^ .^ . ^I Z T) '-B J. 3i". T D :Z^ 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 101 
 
 and discerning, followed the delusive shadow; and though 
 undeceived in a reputation which promised so much, and per- 
 formed so little, she nevertheless continued in her infatua- 
 tion : she even persisted in it, until she was upon the point 
 of embroiling herself with the King ; so gTeat was this first 
 instance of her constancy. 
 
 Such were the heroes of the court. As for the beauties, 
 you could not look anywhere without seeing them : those of 
 the greatest reputation were this same Countess of Castle- 
 maine, afterwards Duchess of Cleveland, Lady Chesterfield, 
 Lady Shrewsbury,"^ the Mrs. Eoberts, Mrs. Middleton, the 
 
 and she soon after married a man of desperate fortune, known by tlie 
 name of Handsome Fielding, who behaving in a manner unjustifiably 
 severe towards - her, she was obliged to have resource to law for her 
 protection. Fortunately it was discovered that Fielding had already a 
 wife living, by which means the duchess was enabled to free herseK 
 from his authority. She lived about two years afterwards, and died of 
 a dropsy, on the 9th of October, 1709, in her 69th year. Bishop Burnet 
 says, " she was a woman of gTeat beauty, but most enormously vicious 
 and ravenous ; foolish, but imperious ; very uneasy to the king, and 
 always carrying on intrigues with other men, while yet she pretended 
 she was jealous of him. His passion for her, and her strange behaviour 
 towards him, did so disorder him, that often he was not master of him- 
 seK, nor capable of minding business, which, in so critical a time, re- 
 quired great application. — History of his Own Times, vol. i. p. 129. 
 
 * Anna Maria, Countess of Shrewsbury, eldest daughter of Robert 
 Brudenel, Earl of Cardigan, and wife of Francis, Earl of Shrewsbury, 
 who was killed in a duel by George, Duke of Buckingham, March 16, 
 1667. She afterwards re-married with George Eodney Bridges, Esq.^ 
 second son of Sir Thomas Bridges of Keynsham, in Somersetshire, 
 knight, and died April 20, 1702. By her second husband she had one 
 son, George Eodney Bridges, who died in 1751. This woman is said to 
 have been so abandoned, as to have held, in the habit of a page, her 
 gallant, the duke's horse, while he fought and killed her husband; after 
 which she went to bed with him, stained with her husband's blood. 
 
102 MEMOIES OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 Misses Brooks,"^ and a thousand others, who shone at court 
 with equal lustre; but it was Miss Hamilton and Miss 
 Stewart who were its chief ornaments. The new queen gave 
 but little additional brilliancy to the court^f either in her 
 person or in her retinue, which was then composed of the 
 Countess de Panetra, who came over with her in quality of 
 lady of the bedchamber ; six frights, who called themselves 
 maids of: honour, and a duenna, another monster, who took 
 the title' of governess to those extraordinary beauties. 
 
 * One of these ladies married Sir John Denham, and is mentioned 
 hereafter. 
 
 t Lord Clarendon confirms, in some measure, this account. " There 
 was a numerous family of men and women, that were sent from Portugal, 
 the most improper to promote that conformity in the queen that was 
 necessary for her condition and future happiness that could be chosen ; 
 the women, for the most part, old, and ugly, and proud, incapable of 
 any conversation with persons of quality and a liberal education : and 
 they desired, and indeed had conspired so far to possess the queen them- 
 selves, that she should neither learn the English language, nor use their 
 habit, nor depart from the manners and fashions of her own country in 
 any particulars : which resolution," they told, " would be for the dignity 
 of Portugal, and would quickly induce the English ladies to conform to 
 her maj esty ' s practice. And this imagination had made that impression, 
 that the tailor who had been sent into Portugal to make her cloth es 
 could never be admitted to see her, or receive any employment. Nor 
 when she came to Portsmouth, and found there several ladies of honour 
 and prime quality to attend her in the places to which they were 
 assigned by the king, did she receive any of them till the king himself 
 came ; nor then with any grace, or the liberty that belonged to their 
 places and offices. She could not be persuaded to be dressed out of 
 the wardrobe that the king had sent to her, but would wear the clothes 
 which she had brought, until she found that the king was displeased, 
 and would be obeyed ; whereupon she conformed, against the advice 
 of her women, who continued their opiniatrety, without any one of 
 them receding from their own mode, which exposed them the more to 
 reproach." — Continuation of Clarendon^ s Life, p. 168. In a short time 
 after their arrival in England, they were ordered back to Portugal. 
 
^II-S^ ZBl^lOnX^ afl-ev-vva:):,!:.-. A ! ^■r "^^.i rrnT-n-R^p 
 
MEMOIES OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 103 
 
 Among the men were Francisco de Melo, brother to the 
 Countess de Panetra; one Tanrauvedez, who called himself 
 Don Pedro Prancisco Correo de Silva, extremely handsome, 
 but a greater fool than all the Portuguese put together : he 
 was more vain of his names than of his person; but the 
 Duke of Buckmgham, a still greater fool than he, though 
 more addicted to raillery, gave him the additional name of 
 Peter of the "Wood. He was so enraged at this, that, after 
 many fruitless complaints and ineffectual menaces, poor Pedro 
 de Silva was obliged to leave England, while the happy duke 
 kept possession of a Portuguese nymph more hideous than 
 the queen's maids of honour, whom he had taken from him, 
 as well as two of his names. Besides these, there were six 
 chaplains, four bakers, a Jew perfumer, and a certain officer, 
 probably without an office, who called himself her highness's 
 barber. Katharine de Braganza was far from appearing with 
 splendour in the charming court where she came to reign; 
 however, in the end she was pretty successful.^ The Cheva- 
 
 * Lord Clarendon says, " the queeu had beauty and wit enough to 
 make herself agreeable to him (the king) ; and it is very certain, that, 
 at their first meeting, and for some time after, the king had very good 
 satisfaction in her. . . . Though she was of years enough to have had 
 more experience of the world, and of as much wit as could be wished, 
 and of a humour very agreeable at some seasons, yet, she had been bred, 
 according to the mode and discipline of her country, in a monastery, 
 where she had only seen the women who attended her, and conversed 
 with the religious who resided there ; and, without doubt, in her inclina- 
 tions, was enough disposed to have beenoneof that number : and from this 
 restraint she was called out to be a gTeat queen, and to a free conversa- 
 tion in a court that was to be upon the matter new formed, and reduced 
 from the manners of a licentious age to the old rules and limits which 
 had been observed in better times ; to which regular and decent confor- 
 mity the present disposition of men or women was not enough inclined 
 to submit, nor the king enough disposed to exact." — Contimiation of 
 'Lord Clarendon's Life, p. 167. After some struggle, she submitted to the 
 
104: MEMOIRS 0¥ COUNT GRAMMONT, 
 
 lier de Grammont, who had been long known to the royal 
 family, and to most of the gentlemen of the court, had only 
 to get acquainted with the ladies ; and for this he wanted no 
 interpreter : they all spoke French enough to explain them- 
 selves, and they all understood it sufficiently to comprehend 
 what he had to say to them. 
 
 The queen's court was always very numerous ; that of the 
 duchess was less so, but more select. This princess* had a 
 majestic au', a pretty good shape, not much beauty, a great 
 deal of wit, and so just a discernment of merit, that, whoever 
 of either sex were possessed of it, were sure to be distinguished 
 by lier : an air of grandeur in all her actions made her be con- 
 sidered as if born to support the rank which placed her so 
 near the throne. The queen dowager returned after the mar- 
 king's licentious conduct, and from that time lived upon easy terms with 
 him, until his death. On the 30th March, 1692, she left Somerset-house, 
 her usual residence, and retired to Lisbon, where she died, 31st Decem- 
 ber, 1705, N. S. 
 
 * " The Duchess of York," says Bishop Burnet, " was a very extra- 
 ordinary woman. She had gi-eat knowledge, and a lively sense of 
 things. She soon understood Avhat belonged to a j^rincess, and took 
 state on her rather too much. She wrote well, and had begun the 
 duke's life, of which she showed me a volume. It was all drawn from 
 his journal ; and he intended to have employed me in carrying it on. 
 She was bred in great strictness in religion, and practised secret con- 
 fession. Morley told me he was her confessor. She began at twelve 
 years old, and continued under his direction till, upon her father's dis- 
 grace, he was put from the court. She was generous and friendly, but 
 was too severe an enemy." — History of his Own Times, vol. i., p. 237. 
 She was contracted to the duke at Breda, November 24, 1659, and 
 married at Worcester-house, 3rd September, 1660, in the night, be- 
 tween eleven and two, by Dr. Joseph Crowther, the duke's chaplain ; 
 the Lord Ossory giving her in marriage. — Kennefs Register, p. 246. 
 She died 31st March, 1671, having previously acknowledged herself to 
 be a Eoman Catholic. — See also her character by Bishop Morley. — 
 Kennefs liegister, p. 385, 390. 
 
i^ "T-T.:E.rT :d 'O yvA. t^]f. jRu 
 
riage of the princess royal,"^ and it .Vas in her court that the 
 two others met. "^v; 
 
 The Chevalier cle Grammont was soon lifcei^cJJ^aii 'parties : 
 those who had not known him before were surprised to see a 
 Frenchman of his disposition. The king's restoration having 
 drawn a great number of foreigners from all countries to the 
 court, the French were rather in disgrace ; for, instead of any 
 persons of distinction having appeared among the first who 
 came over, they had only seen some insignificant puppies, each 
 striving to outdo the other in folly and extravagance, despising 
 everything which was not like themselves, and thinking they 
 introduced the hel air, by treating the English as strangers in 
 their own country. 
 
 The Chevalier de Grammont, on the contrary, was familiar 
 with everybody : he gave in to their customs, eat of everything, 
 and easily habituated himself to their manner of living, which 
 he looked upon as neither vulgar nor barbarous ; and as he- 
 showed a natural complaisance, instead of the impertinent af- 
 fectation of the others, all the nation was charmed with a man, 
 
 t Queen Henrietta Maria arrived at Whitehall, 2nd November, 
 1660, after nineteen years absence. She was received with acclama- 
 tions ; and bonfires were lighted on the occasion, both in London and 
 Westminster. She returned to France with her daughter, the Princess 
 Henrietta, 2nd January, 1660-1. She arrived again at Greenwich. 28th 
 July, 1662, and continued to keep her court in England until July, 
 1665, when she embarked for France, " and took so many things with 
 her," says Lord Clarendon, " that it was thought by many that she did 
 not intend ever to return into England. Whatever her intentions at 
 that time were, she never did see England again, though she lived 
 many years ^iiQTp—Gontinuatio7i of Clarendon's Life, p. 263. She 
 died at Colombe, near Paris, in August, 1669 ; and her son, the Duke 
 of York, pronounces this eulogium on her : " She excelled in all the 
 good qualities of a good wife, of a good mother, and a good Christian.'^ 
 . — Macpherson's Original Papers, vol. i. 
 
106 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 wlio agreeably indemnified them for what they had suffered 
 from the folly of the former. 
 
 He first of all made his court to the king, and was of all his 
 parties of pleasure : he played high, and lost but seldom : he 
 found so little difference in the manners and conversation of 
 those with whom he chiefly associated, that he could scarcely 
 believe he was out of his own country. Everything which 
 could agTeeably engage a man of his disposition, presented 
 itself to his different humours, as if the pleasures of the court 
 of France had quitted it to accompany him in his exile. 
 
 He was every day engaged for some entertainment ; and 
 those who wished to regale him in their turn, were obliged to 
 take their measures in time, and to invite him eight or ten 
 days before hand. These importunate civilities became tire- 
 some in the long run ; but as they seemed indispensable to a 
 man of his disposition, and as they were the most genteel 
 people of the court who loaded him with them, he submitted 
 with a good grace ; but always reserved to himself the liberty 
 of supping at home. 
 
 His supper hour depended upon play, and was indeed very 
 uncertain ; but his supper was always served up with the 
 greatest elegance, by the assistance of one or two servants, 
 who were excellent caterers and good attendants, but under- 
 stood cheating still better. 
 
 The company, at these little entertainments, was not nume- 
 rous, but select : the first people of the court were conmionly 
 of the party ; but the man, who of all others suited him best 
 -on these occasions, never failed to attend : that was the cele- 
 brated Saint Evremond, who with gTeat exactness, but too 
 great freedom, had written the history of the treaty of the 
 Pjrrenees : an exile like himseK, though for very different 
 reasons. 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 107 
 
 Happily for them both, fortune had, some time before the 
 arrival of the Chevalier cle Granimont, brought Saint Evre- 
 mond* to England, after he had had leisure to repent in Hol- 
 land of the beauties of that famous satire. 
 
 * Charles de St. Denis, Seigneur de Saint Evremond, was boru at 
 St. Denis le Guast, in Lower Normandy, on the 1st of April, 1613. 
 He was educated at Paris, with a view to the profession of the law ; 
 but he early quitted that pursuit, and went into the army, where he 
 signalized himself on several occasions. At the time of the Pyrenean 
 treaty, he wi'ote a letter censuring the conduct of Cardinal Mazarin , 
 which occasioned his being banished France. He first took refuge 
 in Holland; but, in 1662, he removed into England, where he con- 
 tinued, with a short interval, during the rest of his life. In 1675, 
 the Duchess of Mazarin came to reside in England ; and with her St. 
 Evremond passed much of his time. He preserved his health and 
 cheerfulness to a very great age, and died 9tli of September, 1703, 
 aged ninety years, five months, and twenty days. His biographer 
 Monsieur Des Maizeaux, describes him thus : " M. de St. Evremond 
 had blue, lively, and sparkling eyes, a large forehead, thick eyebrows, 
 a handsome mouth, and a sneering physiognomy. Twenty years before 
 his death, a wen grew between his eye-brows, which in time increased 
 to a considerable bigness. He once designed to have it cut off, but as 
 it was no ways troublesome to him, and he little regarded that kind of 
 deformity, Dr. Le Fevre advised him to let it alone, lest such an opera- 
 tion should be attended with dangerous symptoms in a man of his age. 
 He would often make merry with himself on account of his wen, his great 
 leather cap, and grey hair, which he chose to wear rather than a peri- 
 wig.'^ St. Evremond was a kind of Epicurean philosopher, and drew 
 his own character in the following terms, in a letter to Count de Gram- 
 mont. " He was a philosopher equally removed from superstition and 
 impiety ; a voluptuary who had no less aversion from debauchery than 
 inclination for pleasure : a man who had never felt the pressure of 
 indigence, and who had never been in possession of affluence : he lived 
 in a condition despised by those who have everything, envied by those 
 who have nothing, and relished by those who make their reason the 
 foundation of their happiness. When he was young he hated profusion, 
 being persuaded that some degree of wealth was necessary for the con- 
 veniencies of a long life : when he was old, he could hardly endure 
 economy, being of opinion that want is little to be dreaded when a man 
 
108 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 The Chevalier was from that time liis hero : they had each 
 of them attained to all the advantages which a knowledge of 
 the world, and the society of people of fashion, could add to 
 the improvement of good natural talents. Saint Evremond, 
 less engaged in frivolous pursuits, frequently gave little lec- 
 tures to tlie Chevalier, and by making observations upon the 
 past, endeavoured to set him right for the present, or to in- 
 struct him for the future. " You are now," said he, " in the 
 most agreeable way of life a man of your temper could wish 
 for : you are the delight of a youthful, sprightly, and gallant 
 court : the king has never a party of pleasure to which you 
 are not admitted. You play from morning to night, or, to 
 s^peak more properly, from night to morning, without knowing 
 what it is to lose. Far from losing the money you brought 
 
 has but little time left to be miserable. He was well pleased with 
 nature, and did not complain of fortune. He hated vice, was indulgent 
 to frailties, and lamented misfortunes. He sought not after the failings 
 of men Avith a design to expose them ; he only found what was ridicu- 
 lous in them for his own amusement : he had a secret pleasure in dis- 
 covering this himself, and would, indeed, have had a still greater in 
 discovering this to others, had not he been checked by discretion. Life, 
 in his opinion, was too short to read all sorts of books, and to burden 
 one's memory with a multitude of things, at the expense of one's judg- 
 ment. He did not apply himself to the most learned writings, in order 
 to acquire knowledge, but to the most rational, to fortify his reason : he 
 sometimes chose the most delicate, to give delicacy to his own taste, and 
 sometimes the most agreeable, to give the same to his own genius. It 
 remains that he should be described, such as he was, in friendship and 
 in religion. In friendship he was more constant than a philosopher, and 
 more sincere than a young man of good nature without experience. 
 With regard to religion, his piety consisted more in justice and charity 
 than in penance or mortification. He placed his confidence in God, 
 trusting in His goodness, and hoping that in the bosom of His provi- 
 dence he should find his repose and his felicity." — He was buried in 
 Westminster Abbey. 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. '109 
 
 hither, as you have done in other places, you have doubled it, 
 trebled it, multiplied it almost beyond your wishes, notwith- 
 standing the exorbitant expenses you are imperceptibly led 
 into. This, without doubt, is the most desirable situation in 
 the world : stop here. Chevalier, and do not rum your affairs 
 by returning to your old sins. Avoid love, by pursuing other 
 pleasures : love has never been favourable to you.* You are 
 sensible how much gallantry has cost you ; and every person 
 here is not so well acquainted with that matter as yourself. 
 Play boldly : entertain the cou.rt with your wit : divert the 
 king by your ingenious and entertaining stories ; but avoid all 
 .engagements which can deprive you of this merit, and make 
 you forget you are a stranger and an exile in this delightful 
 country. 
 
 * " Saint Evremond and Bussi-Rabutin, who have also written on the 
 life of the Count de Grammont, agree with Hamilton in representing 
 him as a man less fortunate in love than at play ; not seeking for any- 
 other pleasure in the conquest of a woman but that of depriving an- 
 other of her ; and not able to persuade any one of his passion, because 
 he spoke to her, as at all other times, in jest : but cruelly revenging 
 himself on those who refused to hear him ; corrupting the servants of 
 those whom they did favour, counterfeiting their handwriting, inter- 
 cepting their letters, disconcerting their rendezvous ; in one word, 
 disturbing their amoars by everything which a rival, prodigal, in- 
 xiefatigable, and full of artifice, can he imagined to do. The straitest 
 ties of blood could not secure any one from his detraction. His 
 nephew, the Count de Guiche, was a victim : he had in truth, offended 
 the Count de Grammont, by having supplanted him in the affection of 
 the Countess de Fiesque, whom he loved afterwards for the space of 
 twelve years. Here was enough to irritate the self-love of a man less 
 persuaded of his own merit.'' 
 
 Hamilton does not describe the exterior of the count, but accuses 
 Bussi-Rabutin of having, in the following description, given a more 
 iigreeable than faithful portrait of him : " The chevalier had laughing 
 eyes, a well-formed nose, a beautiful mouth, a small dimple in the chin, 
 which had an agreeable effect on his countenance, a certain delicacy in 
 his physiognomy, and a handsome shape, if he had not stooped." 
 
110 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 "Fortune may grow weary of befriending you at play. 
 Wliat would have become of you, if your last misfortune had 
 happened to you when your money had been at as low an ebb 
 as I have known it ? Attend carefully then to this necessary 
 deity, and renounce the other. You will be missed at the 
 court of France before you grow weary of this ; but be that as 
 it may, lay up a good store of money : when a man is rich he 
 consoles himself for his banishment. I know you well, my 
 <lear Chevalier : if you take it into your head to seduce a lady, 
 or to supplant a lover, your gains at play will by no means 
 suffice for presents and for bribes : no, let play be as produc- 
 tive to you as it can be, you will never gain so much by it as 
 you will lose by love, if you yield to it. 
 
 " You are in possession of a thousand splendid qualifications 
 which distinguish you here: generous, benevolent, elegant, 
 and polite ; and for your engaging wit, inimitable. Upon a 
 strict examination, perhaps, all this would not be found liter- 
 ally true ; but these are brilliant marks ; and since it is granted 
 that you possess them, do not show yourself here in any other 
 light : for, in love, if your manner of paying your addresses 
 can be so denominated, you do not in the least resemble the 
 picture I have just now drawn." 
 
 "My little philosophical monitor," said the Chevalier de 
 Grrammont, " you talk here as if you were the Cato of l^ov- 
 mandy." " Do I say anything untrue ?" replied Saint Evre- 
 mond : " Is it not a fact, that as soon as a woman pleases you, 
 your first care is to find out whether she has any other lover, 
 and your second how to plague her ; for the gaining her affec- 
 tion is the last thing in your thoughts. You seldom engage 
 in intrigues, but to disturb the happiness of others : a mistress 
 who has no lovers would have no charms for you, and if she 
 has, she would be invaluable. Do not all the places through 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. Ill 
 
 which you have passed furnish me with a thousand examples ? 
 Shall I mention your couiJ d'essai at Turin ? the trick you 
 2>layed at Fontainebleau, where you robbed the Princess Pala- 
 tine's courier upon the highway ? and for what purpose was 
 this fine exploit, but to put you in possession of some proofs 
 of her affection for another, in order to give her uneasiness 
 and confusion by reproaches and menaces, which you had no 
 right to use ? 
 
 " Who but yourself ever took it into his head to place him- 
 self in ambush upon the stairs, to disturb a man in an in- 
 trigue, and to pull him back by the leg when he was half 
 way up to his mistress's chamber ? yet did not you use your 
 friend the Duke of Buckingham in this manner, when he was 
 
 stealing at night to ^ although you were not in the least his 
 
 rival ? How many spies did not you send out after d'Olonne ?* 
 How many tricks, frauds, and persecutions, did you not prac- 
 tise for the Countess de Piesque,t who perhaps might have 
 
 * Mademoiselle de la Loupe, who is mentioned in De Eetz's Memoirs, 
 vol. iii., p. 95. She married the Count d'Olonne, and became famous 
 for her gallantries, of which the Count de Bussi speaks so much, in his 
 History of the Amours of the Gauls. Her maiden name was 
 Catherine Henrietta d'Angennes, and she was daughter to Charles 
 d'Angennes, Lord of la Loupe, Baron of Amberville, by Mary du 
 Raynier. There is a long character of her by St. Evremond, in his 
 works, vol. i., p. 17. The same writer, mentioning the concern of some 
 ladies for the death of the Duke of Candale, says, " But his true mis- 
 tress (the Countess d'Olonne) made herself famous by the excess of her 
 affliction, and had, in my opinion, been happy, if she had kept it on 
 to the last. One amour is creditable to a lady ; and I know not whether 
 it be not more advantageous to their reputation than never to have 
 been in love." — St. Evremond' s Works, vol ii., p. 24. 
 
 t This lady seems to have been the wife of Count de Fiesque, who 
 is mentioned by St. Evremond, as " fruitful in military chimeras ; 
 who, besides the post of lieutenant-general, which he had at Paris, 
 obtained a particular commission for the beating up of the quarters. 
 
I 
 
 112 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 been constant to you, if you had not yourself forced her to be 
 otherwise ? But, to conchide, for the enumeration of your 
 iniquities would be endless, give me leave to ask you, how 
 you came here ? Are not we obliged to that same evil genius 
 of yours, which rashly inspired you to intermeddle even in 
 the gallantries of your prince ? Show some discretion then 
 on this point here, I beseech you; all the beauties of the 
 court are already engaged; and however docile the English 
 may be with respect to their wives, they can -by no means 
 bear the inconstancy of their mistresses, nor patiently suffer 
 the advantages of a rival : suffer them therefore to remain in 
 tranquillity, and do not gain their ill-will for no purpose. 
 
 " You certainly will meet with no success with such as are 
 Tinmarried : honourable views, and good landed property, are 
 required here ; and you possess as much of the one as the 
 other. Every country has its customs : in Holland, unmarried 
 ladies are of easy access, and of tender dispositions ; but as 
 soon as "ever they are married, they become like so many Lu- 
 cretias : in France, the women are great coquettes before 
 marriage, and still more so afterwards ; but here it is a miracle 
 if a young lady yields to any proposal but that of matrimony : 
 and I do not believe you yet so destitute of grace as to think 
 of that." 
 
 Such were Saint Evremond's lectures; but they were all 
 to no purpose : the Chevalier de Grammont only attended to 
 them for his amusement ; and though he was sensible of the 
 truth they contained, he paid little regard to them : in fact, 
 
 and other rash and sudden exploits, which may be resolved upon whilst 
 one is singing the air of La Barre, or dancing a minuet." — St. Evre- 
 moncTs Works, vol. i., p. 6. The count's name occurs very frequently 
 in De Eetz's Memoirs. 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 113 
 
 being weary of the favours of fortune, lie had just resolved to 
 pursue those of love. 
 
 Mrs. Middleton was the first whom he attacked : she was 
 one of the handsomest women in town, though then little 
 known at court : so much of the coquette as to discourage no 
 one ; and so great was her desire of appearing magnificently, 
 that she was ambitious to vie with those of the greatest for- 
 tunes, though unable to support the expense. All this suited 
 the Chevalier de Grammont ; therefore, without trifiing away 
 his time in useless ceremonies, he applied to her porter for 
 admittance, and chose one of her lovers for his confidant. 
 
 This lover, who was not deficient in wit, was at that time 
 a Mr. Jones, afterwards Earl of Kanelagh:"^ what engaged 
 him to serve the Chevalier de Grammont, was to traverse the 
 designs of a most dangerous rival, and to relieve himself from 
 an expense which began to lie too heavy upon him. In both 
 respects the Chevalier answered his purpose. 
 
 Immediately spies were placed, letters and, presents flew 
 about : he was received as well as he could wish : he was per- 
 mitted to ogle : he was even ogled again ; but this was aU : 
 he found that the fair one was very willing to accept, but 
 was tardy in making returns. This induced him, without 
 giving up his pretensions to her, to seek his fortune else- 
 where. 
 
 Among the queen's maids of honour, there was one called 
 
 * Richard, the first Earl of Eanelagh, was member of the Enghsh house 
 of commons, and vice-treasurer of Ireland, 1674. He held several 
 offices under King William and Queen Anne, and died 5th January^ 
 1711. Bishop Burnet says, " Lord Eanelagh was a young man of great 
 parts, and as great vices : he had a pleasantness in his conversation 
 that took much with the king ; and had a great dexterity in business."" 
 — History of his Own Times, vol. i., p. 373. 
 
114 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 Warmestre :^ she was a beauty very different from the other. 
 Mrs. Middleton-|- was well made, fair, and delicate ; but had 
 in her behaviour and discourse something precise and affected. 
 The indolent languishing airs she gave herself did not please 
 everybody: people grew weary of those sentiments of deli- 
 cacy, which she endeavoured to explain without understand- 
 ing them herself; and instead of entertaining she became 
 tiresome. In these attempts she gave herself so much trouble, 
 that she made the company uneasy, and her ambition to pass 
 for a wit, only established her the reputation of being tire- 
 some, wliich lasted much longer than her beauty. 
 
 Miss Warmestre was brown : she had no shape at all, and 
 still less air; but she had a very lively complexion, very 
 sparkling eyes, tempting looks, which spared nothing that 
 might engage a lover, and promised everything which could 
 preserve him. In the end, it very plainly appeared that her 
 
 * Lord Orford observes, that there is a family of the name of War- 
 minster settled at Worcester, of which five persons are interred in the 
 cathedral. One of them was dean of the church, and his epitaph 
 mentions his attachment to the royal family. Miss Warminster, how- 
 ever, was probably only a fictitious name. The last Earl of Arran, 
 who lived only a short time after the period these transactions are 
 supposed to have happened, asserted, that the maid of honour here 
 spoken of was Miss M^try Kirk, sister of the Countess of Oxford, and 
 who, three years after she was driven from court, married Sir Thomas 
 Vernon, under the supposed character of a widow. It was not im- 
 probable she then assumed the name of Warminster. In the year 
 1669, the following is the list of the maids of honour to the queen : — 1. 
 Mrs. Simona Carew. 2. Mrs. Catherine Sainton. 3. Mrs. Henrietta 
 Maria Price. 4. Mrs. Winifred Wells. The lady who had then the 
 office of mother of the maids was Lady Saunderson. — See Chamher- 
 layn^s Anglice Notitia, 1669, p. 301. 
 
 t Mrs. Jane Middleton, according to Mrs. Granger, was a woman of 
 small fortune, but great beauty. Her portrait is in the gallery at 
 Windsor. 
 
'KII^^.K, ©tlj.«rwifr MISS ITAlRMiE, t^ 
 
STT.Ie^-T. 
 
 MISS HT]EWART,,aftei"w':ai-cls jD^I^'rHlISi^ OF l^irHM0K3:) = 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 115 
 
 consent went along with lier eyes to the last degree of indis- 
 cretion. 
 
 It- was between these two goddesses that the inclinations of 
 the Chevalier de Grammont stood wavering, and between 
 whom his presents were divided. Perfumed gloves, pocket 
 looking-glasses, elegant boxes, apricot paste, essences, and 
 other small wares of love, arrived every week from Paris, 
 with some new suit for himself ; but, with regard to more 
 solid presents, such as ear-rings, diamonds, brilliants, and 
 bright guineas, all this was to be met with of the best sort in 
 London, and the ladies were as well pleased with them as if 
 they had been brought from abroad. > '^t)-. V> 
 
 Miss Stewart's* beauty began at this time to be celebrated. 
 
 * Frances, Duchess of Richmond, daughter of Walter Stewart, son 
 of Walter, Baron of Blantyre, and wife of Charles Stewart, Duke of 
 Richmond and Lennox : a lady of exquisite beauty, if justly repre- 
 sented in a puncheon made by Roettiere, his majesty's engraver of 
 the mint, in order to strike a medal of her, which exhibits the finest 
 face that perhaps was ever seen. The king was supposed to be des- 
 perately in love with her ; and it became common discourse, that there 
 was a design on foot to get him divorced from the queen, in order to 
 marry this lady. Lord Clarendon was thought to have promoted the 
 match with the Duke of Richmond, thereby to prevent the other 
 design, which he imagined would hurt the king's character, embroil 
 his affairs at present, and entail all the evils of a disputed succession 
 on the nation. Whether he actually encouraged the Duke of Rich- 
 mond's marriage, doth not appear ; but it is certain that he was so 
 strongly possessed of the king's inclination to a divorce, that, even after 
 his disgrace, he was persuaded the Duke of Buckingham had under- 
 taken to carry that matter through the parliament. It is certain too 
 that the king considered him as the chief promoter of Miss Stewart's 
 marriage, and resented it in the highest degree. The ceremony took 
 place privately, and it was publicly declared in April, 1667. From one 
 of Sir Robert Southwell's dispatches, dated Lisbon, December i:\, 1667, 
 it appears that the report of the queen's intended divorce had not 
 then subsided in her native country. — History of the Revolutions oj 
 Fortugal, 1740, p. 352. The duchess became a widow in 1672, and 
 
 8—2 
 
116 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 The Countess of Castlemaine perceived that the king paid 
 attention to her; but, instead of being alarmed at it, she 
 favoured, as far as she was able, this new inclination, whether 
 from an indiscretion common to all those who think them- 
 selves superior to the rest of mankind, or whether she de- 
 signed, by this pastime, to divert the king's attention from 
 the commerce which she held with Jermyn. She was not 
 satisfied with appearing without any degree of uneasiness at 
 a preference which all the court began to remark : she even 
 affected to make Miss Stewart her favourite, and invited her 
 to all the entertamments she made for the king ; and, in con- 
 fidence of her own charms, with the greatest indiscretion, she 
 often kept her to sleep. The king, who seldom neglected to visit 
 the countess before she rose, seldom failed likewise to find Miss 
 Stewart in bed with her. The most indifferent objects have 
 cliarms in a new attachment : however, the imprudent countess 
 was not jealous of this rival's appearing with her, in such a 
 situation, being confident, that whenever she thought fit, she 
 could triumph over all the advantages which these opportuni- 
 ties could afford Miss Stewart ; but she was quite mistaken. 
 
 The Chevalier de Grammont took notice of this conduct, 
 without being able to comprehend it ; but, as he was atten- 
 tive to the inclinations of the king, he began to make his 
 court to him, by enhancing the merit of this new mistress. 
 Her figure was more showy than engaging: it was hardly 
 possible for a woman to have less wit, or more beauty: all 
 her features were fine and regular; but her shape was not 
 good : yet she was slender, straight enough, and taller than 
 
 died October 15, 1702. See Burnett History^ Ludlow'' s Memoirs, and 
 Cartels Life of the Duhe of Ormond. A figurfe in wax of this duchess 
 is still to be seen in Westminster-abbey. / 
 
'M^f ■ IIX '3 F 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 117 
 
 the generality of women : she was very graceful, danced weU, 
 and spoke French better than her mother tongue : she was 
 well bred, and possessed, in perfection, that air of dress 
 which is so much admired, and w]:ich cannot be attained, 
 unless it be taken when young, in France. While her charms 
 were gaining ground in the king's heart, the Countess of 
 Castlemaine amused herseK in the gratification of all her 
 caprices. 
 
 Mrs. Hyde* was. one of the first of the beauties who were 
 prejudiced with a blind prepossession in favour of Jerm)rii: 
 she had just married a man whom she loved: by this mar- 
 riage she became sister-in-law to the duchess, brilliant by her 
 own native lustre, and full of pleasantry and wit.: -'However, 
 she was of opinion, that so long as she was not talked of on 
 account of Jermyn, all her other advantages would avail 
 nothing for her. glory: it was, therefore, to receive this 
 finishing stroke, that she resolved to throw herself into his 
 arms. 
 
 She was of a middle size, had a skin of a dazzling white- 
 ness, fine hands, and a foot surprisingly beautiful, even in 
 England : long custom had given such a languishing tender- 
 ness to her looks, that she never opened her eyes but like a 
 Chinese; and, when she ogled, one would have thought she 
 was doing something else. ^ 
 
 Jermyn accepted of her at first ; but, being soon puzzled 
 what to do with^ her, he thought it best to sacrifice her to 
 Lady Castlemaine. The sacrifice was far from being displeasing 
 to her ; it was much to her glory to have carried off Jermyn 
 from so many competitors ; but this was of no consequence in 
 the end. 
 
 * Theodosia, daughter of Arthur, Lord Capel, first wife of Henry 
 Hyde, the second Earl of Clarendon. 
 
118 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 Jacob HaU (tlie famous rope-dancer)* was at that time in 
 vogue in London ; his strength and agility charmed in public, 
 even to a wish to know what he was in private ; for he ap- 
 peared, in his tumbling dress, to be quite of a different make, and 
 to have limbs very different from the fortunate Jermyn. The 
 tuml)ler did not deceive Lady Castlemaine's expectations, if 
 report may be believed ; and as was intimated in many a song, 
 much more to the honour of the rope-dancer than of the 
 countess; but she despised all these rumours, and only ap- 
 peared still more handsome. 
 
 While satire thus found employment at her cost, there were 
 continual contests for the favours of another beauty, who was 
 not much more niggardly in that way than herself ; this was 
 the Countess of Shrewsbury. 
 
 The Earl of Arran, who had been one of her first admirers, 
 was not one of the last to desert her ; this beauty, less famous 
 for her conquests than for the misfortunes she occasioned, 
 placed her gTcatest merits in being more capricious than any 
 other. As no person could boast of being the only one in her 
 
 * " There was a symmetry and elegance, as well as strength and 
 agility, in the person of Jacob Hall, which was much admired by the 
 ladies, who regarded him as a due composition of Hercules and Adonis. 
 The open-hearted Duchess of Cleveland was said to have been in love 
 with this rope-dancer and Goodman the player at the same time. The 
 former received a salary from her grace." — Granger, vol. ii,, part 2, p. 
 461. In reference to the connection between the duchess and the rope- 
 dancer, Mr. Pope introduced the following lines into his " Sober Advice 
 from Horace :" 
 
 " What push'd poor E s on th' imperial whore ? 
 
 'Twas but to be where Charles had been before. 
 
 The fatal steel unjustly was apply'd, 
 
 When not his lust offended, but his pride : 
 
 Too hard a penance for defeated sin, 
 
 Himself shut out, and Jacob Hall let in." 
 
^I^AC OB ZIAXX 
 
COHTKTiF: ^S S €)'¥ ^M PxjElf § BFP. Y. 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 119 
 
 favour ; so no person could complain of having been ill re- 
 ceived. 
 
 Jermyn was displeased that she had made no advances to 
 him, without considering that she had no leisure for it ; his 
 pride was offended ; but the attempt which he made to take 
 her from the rest of her lovers was very ill-advised. 
 
 Thomas Howard, brother to the Earl of Carlisle * was one of 
 them ; there was not a braver, nor a more genteel man in 
 England ; and though he was of a modest demeanour, and his 
 manners appeared gentle and pacific, no person was more 
 spirited nor more passionate. Lady Shrewsbury, inconsider- 
 ately returning the first ogles of the invincible Jermyn, did 
 not at all make herseK more agreeable to Howard ; that, how- 
 ever, she paid little attention to ; yet, as she designed to keep 
 fair with him, she consented to accept an entertainment which 
 he had often proposed, and which she durst no longer refuse. 
 A place of amusement, called Spring Garden,-|- was fixed upon 
 for the scene of this entertainment. 
 
 * Thomas Howard, fourth son of Sir William Howard. He married 
 Mary, Duchess of Eichmond, daughter of George Yilliers, Duke of 
 Buckingham, and died 1678. — See Madame Dimois' Memoirs of the 
 English Court, 8vo., 1708. 
 
 t This place appears, from the description of its situation in the 
 following extract, and in some ancient plans, to have been near Charing- 
 Cross, probably where houses are now built, though still retaining the 
 name of gardens. The entertainments usually to be met with there are 
 thus described by a contemporary writer : " The manner is, as the 
 company returns, (i.e. from Hyde Park,) to alight at the Spring Garden, 
 so called in order to the park, as our Tuileries is to the course : the 
 enclosure not disagreeable, for the solemness of the grove, the warbling 
 of the birds, and as it opens into the spacious walks at St. Jameses ; 
 but the company walk in it at such a rate, you would think all the 
 ladies were so many Atalantas contending with their wooers ; and, my 
 lord, there was no appearance that I should prove the Hippomenes, who 
 could with much ado keep pace with them : but as fast as they run, 
 
120 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 As soon as the party was settled, Jenny n was privately 
 informed of it. Howard had a company in the regiment of 
 guards, and one of the soldiers of his company played pretty 
 well on the bagpipes ; this soldier was therefore at the enter- 
 tainment. Jermyn was at the garden, as by chance ; and, 
 puffed up with his former successes, he trusted to his vic- 
 torious air for accomplishing this last enterprise ; he no sooner 
 appeared on the walks, than her ladyship showed herself upon 
 the balcony. 
 
 I know not how she stood affected to her hero ; but Howard 
 did not fancy him much ; this did not prevent his coming up 
 stairs upon the first sign she made to him ; and not content 
 Avitli acting the petty tyrant, at an entertainment not made 
 for himself, no sooner had he gained the soft looks of the fair 
 one, than he exhausted all his common-place, and all his stock 
 of low irony, in railing at the entertainment, and ridiculing the 
 music. 
 
 Howard possessed but little raillery, and still less patience; 
 three times was the banquet on the point of being stained 
 with blood; but three times did he suppress his natural 
 
 they stay there so long as if they wanted not time to finish the race ; 
 for it is usual here to find some of the young company till midnight ; 
 and the thickets of the garden seem to be contrived to all advantages 
 of gallantry, after they have refreshed with the collation, which is here 
 seldom omitted, at a certain cabaret, in the middle of this paradise, 
 where i^the forbidden fruits are certain trifling tarts, neats' tongues, 
 salicious meats, and bad Rhenish, for which the gallants pay sauce, as 
 indeed they do at all such houses throughout England ; for they think 
 it a piece of frugality beneath them to bargain or account for what they 
 eat in any place, however unreasonably imposed upon.'' — Character of 
 England, 12mo., 1659, p. 66, written, it is said, by John Evelyn, Esq. 
 Spring Garden is the scene of intrigue in many of our comedies of this 
 period. 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 121 
 
 impetuosity, in order to satisfy his resentment elsewhere with 
 ^eater freedom. 
 
 Jermyn, without paying the least attention to his ill- 
 humour, pursued his point, continued talking to Lady 
 Shrewsbury, and did not leave her until the repast was ended. 
 
 He went to bed, proud of this triumph, and was awakened 
 next morning by a challenge. He took for his second Giles 
 Eawlings, a man of intrigue, and a deep player. Howard took 
 Dillon, who was dexterous and brave, much of a gentleman, 
 and, unfortunately, an intimate friend to Eawlings. 
 
 In this duel fortune did not side with the votaries of love : 
 poor Eawlings was left stone dead ; and Jermyn, having re- 
 ceived three wounds, was carried to his uncle's, with very 
 little signs of life. 
 
 While the report of this event engaged the courtiers accord- 
 ing to their several interests, the Chevalier de Grammont was 
 informed by Jones, his friend, his confidant, and his rival, that 
 there was another gentleman very attentive to Mrs. Middle- 
 ton : this was Montagu,* no very dangerous rival on account 
 of his person, but very much to be feared for his assiduity, 
 
 * Ralph Montagu, second son of Edward, Lord Montagu. He was 
 master of the horse to the queen, and, in 1669, was sent ambassador- 
 extraordinary to France ; on his return from whence, in January, 1672, 
 he was sworn of the privy-council. He afterwards became master of 
 the great wardrobe, and was sent a second time to France. He took a 
 very decided part in the prosecution of the popish plot, in 1678 ; but on 
 the sacrifice of his friend, Lord Eussell, he retired to Montpelier during 
 the rest of King Charles's reign. He was active at the Eevolution, and 
 soon after created Viscount Monthermer, and Earl of Montagu. In 
 1705 he became Marquis of Monthermer, and Duke of Montagu. He 
 died 7th March, 1709, in his 73rd year, leaving behind him the charac- 
 ter of a very indulgent parent, a kind and bountiful master, a very 
 hearty friend, a noble patron of men of merit, and a true assertor of 
 English liberty. 
 
122 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 the acuteness of liis wit, and for some other talents which are 
 of importance, when a man is once permitted to display 
 them. 
 
 There needed not half so much to bring into action all 
 the Chevalier's vivacity, in pomt of competition: vexation 
 awakened in him whatever expedients the . desire of revenge, 
 malice, and experiepce, could suggest, for troubling the designs 
 of a rival, and tormentino- a mistress. His first intention was 
 to return her letters, and demand his presents, before he began 
 to tease her; but, rejectmg tliis project, as ^ too weak a revenge 
 for the injustice done liim, he was upon the point of conspiring 
 the destruction of poor Mrs. Middleton, whei^, by accident, he 
 met ■\\'ith Miss Hamilton. Prom tliis moment ended all his 
 resentment against Mrs. Middleton, and all his attachment to 
 Miss Warmestre : no longer was he inconstant : no longer were 
 liis wishes fluctuating: this object fixed them all; and, of 
 all liis former habits, none remained, except uneasiness and 
 jealousy. 
 
 Here his first care was to please ; but he very plainly saw, 
 that to succeed he must act quite in a different manner to that 
 which he had been accustomed to. 
 
 The family of the Hamiltons, being very numerous, lived in 
 a large and commodious house, near the court : the Duke of 
 Ormond's family was continually with them ; and here persons 
 of the gTcatest distinction in London, constantly met : the 
 Chevalier de Grammont was here received in a manner agree- 
 able to his merit and quality, and was astonished that he had 
 spent so much time in other j)laces ; for, after having made 
 this acquaintance, he was desirous of no other. 
 
 All the world agreed that Miss Hamilton* was worthy of 
 
 * Elizabeth, sister of the author of these Memoirs, and daughter of 
 Sir George Hamilton, foui^th son of James, the first Earl of Abercorn, 
 
ril :S S I1AIM1X.T r)T^ 
 
MEMOIES OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 123 
 
 the most ardent and sincere affection : nobody could boast a 
 nobler birth, nothing was more charming than her person. 
 
 by Mary, third daughter of Thomas, Yiscount Thurles, eldest son of 
 Walter, eleventh Earl of Ormond, and sister to James, the first Duke 
 of Ormond. She married Philibert, Count of Grammont, the hero of 
 these Memoirs, by whom she had two daughters : Claude Charlotte, 
 married, 3rd April, 1694, to Henry, Earl of Stafford; and another, who 
 became superior, or abbess, of the Canonesses in Lorraine. 
 
124 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 CHAPTEE VII. 
 
 The Chevalier de Grammont, never satisfied in his amours, 
 was fortunate without being beloved, and became jealous with- 
 out having an attachment. 
 
 Mrs. Middleton, as we have said, was going to experience 
 what methods he could invent to torment, after having experi- 
 enced his powers of pleasing. 
 
 He went in search of her to the queen's drawing-room, 
 where there was a ball ; there she was ; but fortunately for 
 her. Miss Hamilton was there likewise. It had so happened, 
 that of all the beautiful women at court, this was the lady 
 whom he had least seen, and whom he had heard most com- 
 mended ; this, therefore, was the first time that he had a close 
 view of her, and he soon found that he had seen nothing at 
 court before this instant; he asked her some questions, to 
 which she replied ; as long as she was dancing, his eyes were 
 fixed upon her ; and from this time he no longer resented Mrs. 
 Middleton's conduct. Miss Hamilton was at the happy age 
 when the charms of the fair sex begin to bloom ; she had the 
 finest shape, the loveliest neck, and most beautiful arms in the 
 world ; she was majestic and graceful in all her movements ; 
 and she was the original after which all the ladies copied in 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 125 
 
 their taste and air of dress. Her forehead was open, white, 
 and smooth ; her hair was well set, and fell with ease into that 
 natural order which it is so difficult to imitate. Her com- 
 plexion was possessed of a certain freshness, not to be equal- 
 led by borrowed colours : her eyes were not large, but they 
 were lively, and capable of expressing whatever she pleased : 
 her mouth was full of graces, and her contour uncommonly 
 perfect : nor was her nose, which was small, delicate, and 
 turned up, the least ornament of so lovely a face. In fine, her 
 air, her carriage, and the numberless graces dispersed over her 
 whole person, made the Chevalier de G-rammont not doubt 
 but that she was possessed of every other qualification. Her 
 mind was a proper companion for such a form : she did not 
 endeavour to sliine in conversation by those sprightly sallies- 
 which only puzzle; and with still greater care she avoided 
 that affected solemnity in her discourse, which produces 
 stupidity ; but, without any eagerness to talk, she just said 
 what she ought, and no more. She had an admirable discern- 
 ment in distinguishing between solid and false wit ; and far 
 from making an ostentatious display of her abilities, she was 
 reserved, though very just in her decisions : her sentiments 
 were always noble, and even lofty to the highest extent, when 
 there was occasion ; nevertheless, she was less prepossessed 
 with her own merit than is usually the case with those who 
 have so much. Formed, as we have described, she could not 
 fail of commanding love ; but so far was she from courting it, 
 that she was scrupulously nice with respect to those whose 
 merit might entitle them to form any pretensions to her. 
 
 The more the Chevalier de Grammont was convinced of 
 these truths, the more did he endeavour to please and engage 
 her in his turn : his entertaining wit, his conversation, lively, 
 easy, and always distinguished by novelty, constantly gained 
 
126 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 him attention ; but he was much embarrassed to find that pre- 
 sents, which so easily made their way in his former method of 
 courtship, were no longer proper in the mode which, for the 
 future, he was obliged to pursue. 
 
 He had an old valet-de-chambre, called Termes, a bold 
 thief, and a still more impudent liar : he used to send this man 
 from London every week, on the commissions we have before 
 mentioned ; but after the disgrace of Mrs. Middleton, and the 
 adventure of Miss Warmestre, Mr. Termes was only employed 
 in bringing his master's clothes from Paris, and he did not 
 always acquit himself with the greatest fidelity in that em- 
 ployment, as will appear hereafter. 
 
 The queen was a woman of sense, and used all her endea- 
 vours to please the king, by that kind obliging behaviour 
 which her affection made natural to her : she was particularly 
 attentive in promoting every sort of pleasure and amusement 
 especially such as she could be present at herself. 
 
 She had contrived, for this purpose, a splendid masquerade, 
 where those, whom she appointed to dance, had to represent 
 different nations; she allowed some time for preparation, 
 during which we may suppose, the tailors, the mantua-makers, 
 and embroiderers, were not idle : nor were the beauties, who 
 were to be there, less anxiously employed; however, Miss 
 Hamilton found time enough to invent two or three little 
 tricks, in a conjuncture so favourable, for turning into ridicule 
 the vain fools of the court. There were two who were very 
 eminently such : the one was Lady Muskerry,"^ who had 
 
 * Lady Margaret, only child of Ulick, fifth Earl of Clanricade, by 
 Lady Anne Compton, daugMer of William, Earl of Northampton. She 
 was three times married : — 1. to Charles, Lord Viscount Muskerry, 
 who lost his life in the great sea-fight with the Dutch, 3rd June, 1665. 
 2. In 1676, to Eobert Villiers, called Viscount Purbeck, who died in 
 1685. 3. To Eobert Fielding, Esq, She died in August, 1698. Lord 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 127 
 
 married her coiisin-german ; and the other a maid of honour 
 to the Duchess, called Blague."^ 
 
 The first, whose husband most assuredly never married her 
 for beauty, was made like the generality of rich heiresses, to 
 whom just nature seems sparing of her gifts, in proportion as 
 they are loaded with those of fortune : she had the shape of a 
 woman big with child, without being so ; but had a very good 
 reason for limping ; for, of two legs uncommonly short, one 
 was much shorter than the other. A face suitable to this de- 
 scription gave the finishing stroke to this disagreeable figure. 
 
 Miss Blague was another species of ridicule : her shape 
 was neither good nor bad : her countenance bore the ap- 
 pearance of the greatest insipidity, and her complexion was 
 the same all over ; with two little hollow eyes, adorned with 
 white eye-lashes, as long as one's finger. With these at- 
 tractions she placed herself in ambuscade to surprise unwary 
 
 Orford, by mistake, calls her Elizabeth, daughter of the Earl of Kildare. 
 — See Note on vol ii., p. 210, 
 
 * It appears, by Ghamherlayne^s Anglioe Notitia, 1669, that this lady, 
 or perhaps her sister, continued one of the duchess's maids of honour at 
 that period. The list, at that time, was as follows : — 1. Mrs. Arabella 
 Churchill. 2. Mrs. Dorothy Howard. 3. Mrs. Anne Ogle. 4. Mrs. 
 Mary Blague. The mother of the maids then was Mrs. Lucy Wise. 
 Miss Blague performed the part of Diana, in Crown's Calisto, acted at 
 court in 1675, and was then styled late maid of honour to the queen. 
 Lord Orford, however, it should be observed, calls her Henrietta Maria, 
 daughter of Colonel Blague. It appears she became the wife of Sir 
 Thomas Yarborough, of Snaith, in Yorkshire. She was also, he says, 
 sister of the wife of Sydney, Lord Godolphin. That nobleman married, 
 according to Collins, in his peerage, Margaret, at that time maid of 
 honour to Katherine, Queen of England, fourth daughter, and one of 
 the co-heirs of Thomas Blague, Esq., groom of the bedchamber to 
 Charles I. and Charles II., colonel of a regiment of foot, and governor 
 of Wallingford during the civil wars, and governor of Yarmouth and 
 Languard Fort after the Restoration. 
 
128 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 hearts ; but she might have done so in vain, had it not been 
 for the arrival of the Marquis de Brisacier. Heaven seemed 
 to have made them for each other : he had in his person and 
 manners every requisite to dazzle a creature of her character : 
 he talked eternally, without saying anything, and in his 
 dress exceeded the most extravagant fashions. Miss Blague 
 believed that all this finery was on her account ; and the 
 Marquis believed that her long eyelashes had never taken 
 aim at any but liimself : everybody perceived their inclina- 
 tion for each other ; but they had only conversed by mute 
 interpreters, when Miss Hamilton took it into her head to 
 intermeddle in their affairs. 
 
 She was willing to do everything in order, and therefore 
 began with her cousin Muskerry, on account of her rank. 
 Her two darling foibles were dress and dancing. Magnifi- 
 cence of dress was intolerable with her figure ; and though 
 her dancing was still more insupportable, she never missed a 
 ball at court : and the queen had so much complaisance for 
 the public, as always to make her dance ; but it was impossi- 
 ble to give her a part in an entertainment so important and 
 splendid as this masquerade : however, she was dying with 
 impatience for the orders she expected. 
 
 It was in consequence of this impatience, of which Miss 
 Hamilton was informed, that she founded the design of di- 
 verting herself at the expense of this silly woman. The 
 queen sent notes to those whom she appointed to be present, 
 and described the manner in which they were to be dressed. 
 Miss Hamilton wrote a note exactly in the same manner to 
 Lady Muskerry, with directions for her to be dressed in the 
 Babylonian fashion. 
 
 She assembled her counsel ta advise about the means of 
 sending it : this cabinet was composed of one of her brothers ~ 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 129 
 
 and a sister, who were glad to divert themselves at the ex- 
 pense of those who deserved it. After having consulted some 
 time, they at last resolved upon a mode of conveying it into 
 her own hands. Lord Muskerry was just going out, when she 
 received it: he was a man of honour, rather serious, very 
 severe, and a mortal enemy to ridicule. His wife's deformity 
 was not so intolerable to him, as the ridiculous figure she 
 made upon all occasions. He thought that he was safe in 
 the present case, not believing that the queen would spoil her 
 masquerade by naming Lady Muskerry as one of the dancers ; 
 nevertheless, as he was acquainted with the passion his wife 
 had to expose herself in public, by her dress and dancing, he 
 had just been advising her very seriously to content herself 
 with being a spectator of this entertainment, even though the 
 queen should have the cruelty to engage her in it : he then 
 took the liberty to show her what little similarity there was 
 between her figure, and that of persons to whom dancing and 
 mamificence in dress were allowable. His sermon concluded 
 at last, by an express prohibition to solicit a place at this en- 
 tertainment, which they had no thoughts of giving her ; but 
 far from taking his advice in good part, she imagined that he 
 was the only person who had prevented the queen from doing 
 her an honour she so ardently desired ; and as soon as he was 
 gone out, her design was to go and throw herself at her Ma- 
 jesty's feet to demand justice. She was in this very dis- 
 position when she received the billet : three times did she 
 kiss it ; and without regarding her husband's injunctions, she 
 immediately got into her coach in order to get information of 
 the merchants who traded to the Levant, in what manner the 
 ladies of quality dressed in Babylon. 
 
 The plot laid for Miss Blague was of a different kind : she 
 had such faith in her charms, and was so confident of their 
 
 9 
 
130 MEMOIKS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 effects, that she could believe anything. Brisacier, whom she 
 looked upon as desperately smitten, had wit, which he set off 
 with common-place talk, and with little sonnets : he sung out 
 of tune most methodically, and was continually exerting one 
 or other of these happy talents : the Duke of Buckingham did 
 all he could to spoil him, by the praises he bestowed both 
 upon his voice and upoii his wit. 
 
 Miss Blague, -who hardly understood a word of French, 
 regulated herself upon the Duke's authority, in admiring the 
 one and the other. It was remarked, that all the words 
 which he sung to her were in praise of fait wofnen, and that 
 always taking this to herself, she cast down her eyes in ac- 
 knowledgment and consciousness. • It was upon these obser- 
 vations they resolved to make a jest of her, the first oppor- 
 tunity. 
 
 While these little projects were forming, \the king, who 
 always wished to oblige the, Chevalier "de Gfammont, asked 
 him, if he would make olie at the masquemde, on condition 
 of being Miss Haliiiltoii's partner? HeS- did'iiot pretend to 
 dance sufifi-'ciently well for an' occasion like the present; yet 
 he was far from refusing the offer : "' Sire," said he, " of aU the 
 favours you have been pleased to show me, since my arrival, 
 I feel this more sensibly than any other ; and to convince 
 you of my gratitude, I promise you all the good offices in my 
 power with Miss Stewart." He said this, because they had 
 just given her an apartment separate from the rest of the 
 maids of honour, which made the courtiers begin to -psij 
 respect to her. The king was very well pleased at this 
 pleasantry, and having thanked him for so necessary an 
 offer : " Monsieur le Chevalier," said he, " in what style do 
 you intend to dress yourself for the ball ? I leave you the 
 choice of all countries." " If so," said the Chevalier, " I will 
 
TMvi^r'E, :ru]P]e,]rt . 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GKAMMONT. 131 
 
 dress after the French manner, in order to disguise myself; 
 for they already do me the honour to take me for an English- 
 man in your city of London. Had it not been for this, I 
 should have wished to have appeared as a Eoman ; but for 
 fear of embroiling myself with Prince Eupert,"^ who so 
 warmly espouses the interests of Alexander against Lord 
 Thanet,-)- who declares himself for Caesar, I dare no longer 
 think of assuming the hero : nevertheless, though I may 
 dance awkwardly, yet, by observing the tune, and with a 
 little alertness, I hope to come off pretty well ; besides, Miss 
 Hamilton will take care that too much attention shall not be 
 paid to me. As for my dress, I shall send Termes off to- 
 morrow morning ; and if I do not show you at his return the 
 most splendid habit you have ever seen, look upon mine as 
 the most disgraced nation in your masquerade." 
 
 Termes set out with ample instructions, on the subject of 
 his journey : and his master, rec^ubling his impatience on an 
 occasion like the present, before the courier could be landed, 
 began to count the minutes in expectation of his return : thus 
 was he employed until the very eve of the ball ; and that was 
 
 * Grandson of James the First, whose actions during the civdl wars 
 are well known. He was born 19tli December, 1619, and died at his 
 house in Spring Gardens, November 22, 1682. Lord Clarendon says of 
 him, that " he was rough and passionate, and loved not debate : liked 
 what was proposed, as he liked the persons who proposed it ; and was 
 so great an enemy to Digby and Colepepper, who were only present in 
 the debates of the war with the officers, that he crossed all they pro- 
 posed." — Hist07'y of the Rebellion^ vol. ii. 554. He is supposed to have 
 invented the art of mezzotinto. — See Note, ^:)OSi^. 
 
 t This nobleman, I beheve, was John Tufton, second Earl of Thanet, 
 who died 6th May, 1664. Lord Orford, however, imagines him to have 
 been Nicholas Tufton, the third Earl of Thanet, his eldest son, who died 
 24th November, 1679. Both these noblemen suffered much for their 
 loyalty. 
 
 9—2 
 
132 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 the day that Miss Hamilton and her little society had fixed 
 for the execution of their project. 
 
 Martial gloves were then very much in fashion : she had 
 by chance several pairs of them : she sent one to Miss Blague, 
 accompanied with four yards of yellow riband, the palest 
 she could find, to which she added this note : 
 
 " You were the other day more charming than all the fair 
 women in the world : you looked yesterday still more fair 
 than you did the day before : if you go on, what will become 
 of my heart ? But it is a long time since that has been a 
 prey to your pretty little young wild hoars eyes.^ Shall 
 you be at the masquerade to-morrow ? But can there be any 
 charms at an entertainment, at which you are not present ? 
 It does not signify : I shall know you in whatever disguise 
 you may be : but I shall be better informed of my fate, by 
 the present I send you : you will wear knots of this riband 
 in your hair ; and these gloves will kiss the most beautiful 
 hands in the universe." 
 
 This billet, with the present, was delivered to Miss Blague, 
 with the same success as the other had been conveyed to 
 Lady Muskerry. Miss Hamilton had just received an account 
 of it, when the latter came to pay her a visit : something 
 seemed to possess her thoughts very much ; when, having 
 stayed some time, her cousin desired her to walk into her cabi- 
 net. As soon as they were there : " I desire your secrecy for 
 what I am going to tell you," said Lady Muskerry. " Do not 
 you wonder what strange creatures men are ? Do not trust 
 to them, my dear cousin : my Lord Muskerry, who, before our 
 
 * Marcassin is French for a wild boar : the eyes of this creature 
 being remarkably small and lively, from thence the French say, " Des 
 yeux marcassins," to signify little, though roguish eyes ; or, as we say, 
 pigs' eyes. 
 
 ^ 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 133 
 
 marriage, could have passed whole days and nights in seeing 
 me dance, thinks proper now to forbid me dancing, and says 
 it does not become me. This is not all : he has so often runo- 
 in my ears the subject of this masquerade, that I am obliged to 
 hide from him the honour the queen has done me, in inviting 
 me to it. However, I am surprised I am not informed who 
 is to be my partner : but if you knew what a plague it is, to 
 find out, in this cursed town, in what manner the people of 
 Babylon dress, you would pity me for what I have suffered 
 since the time I have been appointed : besides, the cost which 
 it puts me to is beyond all imagination." 
 
 Here it was that Miss Hamilton's inclination to laugh, 
 which had increased in proportion as she endeavoured to 
 suppress it, at length overcame her, and broke out in an im- 
 moderate fit : Lady Muskerry took it in good humour, not 
 doubting but it was the fantastical conduct of her husband 
 that she was laughing at. Miss Hamilton told her that all 
 husbands were much, the same, and that one ought not to be 
 concerned at their whims ; that she did not know who was to 
 be her partner at the masquerade ; but that, as she was named, 
 the gentleman named with her would certainly not fail to 
 attend her ; although she could not comprehend why he had 
 not yet declared himself, unless he likewise had solne fantas- 
 tical spouse, who had forbid him to dance. 
 
 This conversation being finished. Lady Muskerry went away 
 in great haste, to endeavour to learn some news of her partner. 
 Those who were accomplices in the plot were laughing very 
 heartily at this visit, when Lord Muskerry paid them one in 
 his turn, and taking Miss Hamilton aside : " Do you know," 
 said he, "whether there is to be any ball in the city to- 
 morrow ?" " No," said she ; " but why do you ask ?" " Be- 
 cause," said he, " I am informed that my wife is making great 
 
134 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 preparations of dress. I know very well she is not to be at 
 the masquerade : that I have taken care of ; but as the devH 
 is in her for dancing, I am very much afraid that she will be 
 affording some fresh subject for ridicule, notwithstanding all 
 my precautions : however, if it was amongst the citizens, at 
 some private party, I should not much mind it." 
 
 They satisfied him as well as they could, and having dis- 
 missed him, under pretence of a thousand things they had to 
 prepare for the next day. Miss Hamilton thought herself at 
 liberty for that morning, when in came Miss Price, one of the 
 maids of honour to the Duchess.* This was just what she 
 was wishing for : Tliis lady and Miss Blague Had been at va- 
 riance some time, on account of Duncan,-f- whom Miss Price had 
 drawn away from the other ; and hatred still subsisted between 
 these two divinities. 
 
 Though the maids of honour were not nominated for the 
 masquerade, yet they were to assist at it ; and, consequently, 
 were to neglect nothing to set themselves off to advantage. 
 Miss Hamilton had still another pair of gloves of the same 
 sort as those she had sent to Miss Blague, which she made a 
 present of to her rival, with a few knots of the same riband, 
 which appeared to have been made on purpose for her, brown 
 as she was. Miss Price returned her a thousand thanks, and 
 
 * Our author's memory here fails him : Miss Price was maid of honour 
 to the queeu. Mr. Granger says, "there was a Lady Price, a fine 
 woman, who was daughter of Sir Edmond "Warcup, concerning whom, 
 see Wood^s Fasti Oxon. ii., 184. Her father had the vanity to think 
 that Charles II. would marry her, though he had then a queen. There 
 were letters of his wherein he mentioned, that " his daughter was one 
 night and t'other with the king, and very graciously received by 
 him." — History of England, vol. iv., p. 338. 
 
 f I believe this name should be written Dongan. Lord Orford says, 
 of this house were the ancient Earls of Limerick. 
 
Mi?>:^ ira^iCKo 
 
MEMOIES OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 135 
 
 promised to do herself the honour of wearing them at the ball. 
 " You will oblige me if you do," said Miss Hamilton, " but if 
 you mention that such a trifle as this comes from me, I shall 
 never forgive you ; but," continued she, "do not go and rob 
 poor Miss Blague of the Marquis Brisacier, as you already 
 have of Duncan : I know very well that it is wholly in your 
 power : you have wit : you speak French : and were he once 
 to converse with you ever so little the other could have no pre- 
 tensions to him." This was enough : Miss Blague was only 
 ridiculous and coquettish : Miss Price was ridiculous, coquet- 
 tish, and something else besides. 
 
 The day being come, the court, more splendid than ever, 
 exhibited all its magnificence at this masquerade. The com- 
 pany were all met except the Chevalier de Grammont : every 
 body was astonished that he should be one of the last at such 
 a time, as liis readiness was so remarkable on every occasion ; 
 but they were still more surprised to see him at length appear 
 in an ordinary court-dress, which he had worn before. The 
 thing was preposterous on such an occasion, and very extra- 
 ordinary with respect to him : in vain had he the finest point- 
 lace, with the largest and best powdered peruke imaginable : 
 his dress, magnificent enough for any other purpose, was not 
 at all proper for this entertainment. 
 
 The king immediately took notice of it : " Chevalier," said 
 he, " Termes is not arrived then ?" " Pardon me, sire," said 
 he, " God be thanked !" " Why God be thanked V said the 
 king ; " has anything happened to him on the road ?" " Sire," 
 said the Chevalier de Grammont, " this is the history of my 
 dress, and of Termes, my messenger." At these words the 
 ball, ready to begin, was suspended : the dancers making a 
 circle around the Chevalier de Grammont, he continued his 
 story in the following manner : 
 
136 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GKAMMONT. 
 
 " It is now two days since this fellow ought to have been 
 here, according to my orders and his protestations : you may 
 judge of my impatience all this day, when I found he did not 
 come : at last, after I had heartily cursed him, about an hour 
 age he arrived, splashed all over from head to foot, booted up 
 to the waist, and looking as if he had been excommunicated : 
 'Very well, Mr. Scoundrel,' said I, 'this is just like you, you 
 must be waited for to the very last minute, and it is a miracle 
 that you are arrived at all/ ' Yes, faith/ said he, 'it is a 
 miracle. You are always grumbling : I had the finest suit in 
 the world made for you, wliich the Duke de Guise himself was 
 at the trouble of ordering.' ' Give it me then, scoundrel,' said 
 I. 'Sir,' said he, 'if I did not employ a dozen embroiderers 
 upon it, who did nothing but work day and night, I am a 
 rascal: I never left them one moment/ 'And where is it 
 traitor ?' said I : 'do not stand here prating, while I should be 
 dressing.' 'I had,' continued he, ' packed it up, made it tight, 
 and folded it in such a manner, that all the rain in the world 
 could never have been able to reach it ; and I rid post, day 
 and night, knowing your impatience, and that you. were not to 
 be trifled with.' — ' But where is it ?' said I. ' Lost, sir,' said 
 he, clasping his hands. ' How ! lost,' said I, in surprise. ' Yes, 
 lost, perished, swallowed up : what can I say more V ' What ! 
 was the packet-boat cast away then X said I. ' Oh ! indeed, 
 sir, a great deal worse, as you shall see,' answered he : 'I was 
 within half a league of Calais yesterday morning, and I was 
 resolved to go by the sea-side, to make greater haste ; but, in- 
 deed, they say very true, that nothing is like the highway ; 
 for I got into a quicksand, where I sunk up to the chin.' 'A 
 quicksand,' said I, ' near Calais ?' ' Yes, sir,' said he, ' and 
 such a quicksand that, the devil take me, if they saw anything 
 but the top of my head when they pulled me out : as for my 
 
^J),ctu)l,U 
 
 1^ U (T. "l-I iF_. S5 S ^T;) "1^ :ry ip^ ^.y- C A S ■ni.-'3:.lR „ 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 13 7 
 
 horse, fifteen men could scarce get him out ; but the portman- 
 teau, where I had unfortunately put your clothes, could never 
 be found : it must be at least a league under ground.' 
 
 " This, sire," continued the Chevalier de Grammont, " is the 
 adventure, and the relation which this honest gentleman has 
 given me of it. I should certainly have killed him, but I was 
 afraid of making Miss Hamilton wait, and I was desirous of, 
 giving your Majesty immediate advice of the quicksand, that 
 your couriers may take care to avoid it." 
 
 The King was ready to split his sides with laughing, when 
 the Chevalier de Grammont, resuming the discourse, " apro- 
 pos, sire," said he, '' I had forgot to tell you, that, to increase 
 my ill-humour, I was stopped, as I was getting out of my 
 chair, by the devil of a phantom in masquerade, who would 
 by all means persuade me that the queen had commanded me 
 to dance with her ; and as I excused myseK with the least 
 rudeness possible, she charged me to find out who was to be 
 her partner, and desired me to send him to her immediately * 
 so that your Majesty will do well to give orders about it ; for 
 she has placed herself in ambush in a coach, to seize upon all 
 those who pass through Whitehall. However, I must tell you, 
 that it is worth while to see her dress ; for she must have at 
 least sixty eUs of gauze and silver tissue about her, not to 
 mention a sort of a pyramid upon her head, adorned with a 
 hundred thousand baubles." 
 
 This last account surprised all the assembly, except those 
 who had a share in the plot. The queen assured them, that 
 all she had appointed for the ball were present ; and the king, 
 having paused some minutes : " I bet," said he, " that it is the 
 Duchess of Newcastle.""^ "And I," said Lord Muskerry, 
 
 * This fantastic lady, as Lord Orford properly calls her, was the 
 youngest daughter of Sir Charles Lucas, and had been one of the maids 
 
138 MEMOIKS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 coming up to Miss Hamilton, " will bet it is another fool ; for 
 I am very miicli mistaken if it is not my wife." 
 
 The king was for sending to know who it was, and to bring 
 her in : Lord Mnskerry offered himself for that service, for the 
 reason already mentioned ; and it was very well he did so. 
 Miss Hamilton was not sorry for this, knowing very well that 
 he was not mistaken in his conjecture ; the jest would have 
 gone much farther than she intended, if the Princess of Baby- 
 lon had appeared in all her glory. 
 
 The ball was not very well executed, if one may be allowed 
 the expression, so long as they danced only slow dances ; and 
 yet there were as good dancers, and as beautiful women in this 
 assembly, as were to be found in the whole world : but as their 
 number was not great, they left the French, and went to coun- 
 try dances. When they had danced some time, the king 
 thought fit to introduce his auxiliaries, to give the others a 
 little respite ; the queen's and the duchess's maids of honour 
 were therefore called in to dance with the gentlemen. 
 
 Then it was that they were at leisure to take notice of Miss 
 Blague, and they found that the billet they had conveyed to 
 her on the part of Brisacier had its effect : she was more yellow 
 than saffron: her hair was stuffed with the citron-coloured 
 riband, which she had put there out of complaisance ; and, to 
 
 of honour to Charles the First's queen, whom she attended when forced 
 to leave England. At Paris she married the Duke of Newcastle, and 
 continued in exile with him until the restoration. After her return to 
 England, she lived entirely devoted to letters, and published man}'- 
 volumes of plays, poems, letters, &c. She died in 1673, and was buried 
 in Westminster Abbey. Lord Orford says, there is a whole length of 
 this duchess at Welbeck, in a theatrical dress, which, tradition says, she 
 generally wore. She had always a maid of honour in waiting during 
 the night, who was often called up to register the duchess's conceptions. 
 These were all of a literary kind ; for her gTace left no children. 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 139 
 
 inform Brisacier of his fate, she raised often to her head her 
 victorious hands, adorned with the gloves we have before men- 
 tioned : but, if they were surprised to see her in a head-dress 
 that made her look more wan than ever, she was very differ- 
 ently surprised to see Miss Price partake with her in every 
 particular of Brisacier's present : her surprise soon turned to 
 jealousy ; for her rival had not failed to join in conversation 
 with him, on account of what had been insinuated to her the 
 evening before ; nor did Brisacier fail to return her first ad- 
 vances, without paying the least attention to the fair Blague, 
 nor to the signs which she was tormenting herself to make 
 him, to inform him of liis happy destiny. 
 
 Miss Price was short and thick, and consequently no dancer, 
 the Duke of Buckingham, who brought Brisacier forward as 
 •often as he could, came to desire him, on the part of the king, 
 to dance with Miss Blague, without knowing what was then 
 passing in this nymph's heart : Brisacier excused himself, on 
 account of the contempt that he had for country dances : 
 Miss Blague thought that it was herself that he despised ; and, 
 seeing that he was engaged in conversation with her mortal 
 ^nemy, she began to dance, without knowing what she was 
 doing. Though her indignation and jealousy were sufficiently 
 remarkable to divert the court, none but Miss Hamilton and 
 her accomplices, understood the joke perfectly : their pleasure 
 was quite complete ; for Lord Muskerry returned, still more 
 confounded at the vision, of which the Chevalier de Grammont 
 had given the description. He acquainted Miss Hamilton, 
 that it was Lady Muskerry herself, a thousand times more 
 ridiculous than she had ever been before, and that he had had 
 an immense trouble to get her home, and place a sentry at her 
 •chamber door. 
 
 The reader may think, perhaps, that we have dwelt too long 
 
140 MEMOIES OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 on these trifling incidents; perhaps he may be right. We 
 will therefore pass to others. 
 
 Everything favoured the Chevalier de Grammont in the 
 new passion which he entertained : he was not, however, 
 without rivals ; but, what is a great deal more extraordinary, he 
 was without uneasiness : he was acquainted with their under- 
 standings, and no stranger to Miss Hamilton's way of thinking. 
 
 Among her lovers, the most considerable, though the least 
 professedly so, was the Duke of York : it was in vain for him 
 to conceal it, the court was too well acquainted with his cha- 
 racter to doubt of his inclinations for her. He did not think 
 it proper to declare such sentiments as were not fit for Miss 
 Hamilton to hear ; but he talked to her as much as he could, 
 and ogled her mth great assiduity. As hunting was his 
 favourite diversion, that sport employed him one part of the 
 day, and he came home generally much fatigued ; but Miss 
 Hamilton's presence revived him, when he found her either 
 with the queen or the duchess. There it was that, not daring 
 to tell her of what lay heavy on his heart, he entertained 
 her with what he had in his head : telling her miracles of the 
 cunning of foxes and the mettle of horses ; giving her accounts 
 of broken legs and arms, dislocated shoulders, and other 
 curious and entertaining adventures ; after which, his eyes 
 told her the rest, till such time as sleep interrupted their con- 
 versation ; for these tender interpreters could not help some- 
 times composing themselves in the midst of their ogling. 
 
 The duchess was not at all alarmed at a passion which her 
 rival was far from thinking sincere, and with which she used 
 to divert herself, as far as respect would admit her ; on the 
 contrary, as her highness had an affection and esteem for Miss 
 Hamilton, she never treated her more graciously than on the 
 present occasion. 
 
1, OKl^ '^^■^11. 1,1 AIM Kl'^BSlEl. 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GEAMMONT. 141 
 
 The two Eussells, uncle^ and nepliew,"[- were two other of 
 the Chevalier de Grammont's rivals : the uncle was full 
 seventy, and had distinguished liimself by his courage and 
 fidelity in the civil wars. His passions and intentions, with 
 regard to Miss Hamilton, appeared both at once ; but his 
 magnificence only appeared by halves in those gallantries 
 which love inspires. It was not long since the fashion of high 
 crowned hats had been left off, in order to fall into the other 
 extreme. Old Eussell, amazed at so terrible a change, resolved 
 to keep a medium, which made him remarkable : he was still 
 more so, by his constancy for cut doublets, which he supported 
 ^ long time after they had been universally suppressed ; but, 
 what was more surprising than all, was a certain mixture of 
 avarice and liberality, constantly at war with each other, ever 
 since he had entered the list with love. 
 
 His nephew was only of a younger brother's family, but 
 was considered as his uncle's heir ; and though he was under 
 the necessity of attending to his uncle for an establishment, 
 and still more so of humouring him, in order to get his estate, 
 he could not avoid his fate. Mrs. Middleton showed him a 
 sufficient degree of preference ; but her favours could not 
 secure him from the charms of Miss Hamilton : his person 
 would have had nothing disagreeable in it, if he had but left 
 it to nature ; but he was formal in all his actions, and silent 
 even to stupidity ; and yet rather more tiresome when he did 
 speak. 
 
 The Chevalier de Grammont, very much at his ease in all 
 
 * Eussell, third son of Francis, the fourth Earl of Bedford, and 
 ■colonel of the first regiment of foot guards. He died unmarried, in 
 .November, 1681. 
 
 t William, eldest son of Edward Eussell, younger brother of the above 
 John Eussel. He was standard-bearer to Charles II., and died un- 
 married, 1674. He was elder brother to Eussell, Earl of Orford. 
 
142" MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 these competitions, engaged himself more and more in his 
 passion, without forming other designs, or conceiving other 
 hopes, than to render himself agreeable. Though his passion 
 was openly declared, no person at court regarded it otherwise 
 than as a habit of gallantry, which goes no farther than to do 
 justice to merit. 
 
 His monitor, Saint Evremond, was quite of a different 
 opinion; and finding, that, besides an immense increase of 
 magnificence and assiduity, he regretted those hours which 
 he bestowed on play; that he no longer sought after those 
 long and agreeable conversations they used to have together ; 
 and that this new attachment everywhere robbed him of 
 himself : 
 
 " Monsieur le Chevalier," said he, " methinks that for some 
 time you have left the town beauties and their lovers in per- 
 fect repose : Mrs. Middleton makes fresh conquests with im- 
 punity, and wears your presents, under your nose, without 
 your taking the smallest notice. Poor Miss Warmestre ha& 
 been very quietly brought to bed in the midst of the court, 
 without your having even said a word about it. I foresaw it 
 plain enough. Monsieur le Chevalier, you have got acquainted 
 with Miss Hamilton, and, what has never before happened to- 
 you, you are really in love ; but let us consider a little what 
 may be the consequence. In the first place, then, I believe, 
 you have not the least intention of seducing her : such is her 
 birth and merit, that if you were in possession of the estate 
 and title of your family, it might be excusable in you to offer 
 yourself upon honourable terms, however ridiculous marriage 
 may be in general ; for, if you only wish for wit, prudence, and 
 the treasures of beauty, you could not pay your addresses to 
 a more proper person : but for you, who possess only a very 
 moderate share of those of fortune, you cannot pay your 
 addresses more improperly. 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 145^ 
 
 "For your brother Toulongeon, whose disposition I am 
 acquainted with, will not have the complaisance to die, to 
 favour your pretensions : but suppose you had a competent 
 fortune for you both — and that is supposing a good deal — are 
 you acquainted with the deKcacy, not to say capriciousness, 
 of this fair one about such an engagement ? Do you know 
 that she has had the choice of the best matches in England ? 
 The Duke of Eichmond paid his addresses to her first ; but 
 though he was in love with her, still he was mercenary : how- 
 ever, the king, observing that want of fortune was the only 
 impediment to the match, took that article upon himself, out 
 of regard to the Duke of Ormond, to the merit and birth of 
 Miss Hamilton, and to her father's services ; but, resenting 
 that a man, who pretended to be in love, should bargain like 
 a merchant, and likewise reflecting upon his character in the 
 world, she did not think that being Duchess of Eichmond was 
 a sufficient recompense for the danger that was to be feared 
 from a brute and a debauchee. 
 
 " Has not little Jermyn, notwithstanding his uncle's great 
 estate, and his own brilliant reputation, failed in his suit to 
 her ? And has she ever so much as vouchsafed to look at 
 Henry Howard,* who is upon the point of being the first duke 
 in England, and who is already in actual possession of all the 
 estates of the house of ]N"orfolk ? I confess that he is a clown, 
 but what other lady in all England would not have dispensed 
 with his stupidity and his disagreeable person, to be the first 
 duchess in the kingdom, with twenty-five thousand a year? 
 
 * This was Henry Howard, brother to Thomas, Earl of Arundel, who 
 by a special act of parliament, in 1664, was restored to the honours of 
 the family, forfeited by the attainder of his ancestor, in the time of 
 Queen Elizabeth. On the death of his brother, in 1667, he became 
 Duke of Norfolk, and died January 11, 1683-4, at his house in Arundel 
 Street, aged 55. 
 
144 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 " To conclude, Lord Falmoutli has told me himself, that he 
 has always looked upon her as the only acquisition wanting 
 to complete his happiness : but, that even at the height of the 
 splendour of his fortune, he never had had the assurance to 
 open his sentiments to her ; that he either felt in himself too 
 much weakness, or too much pride, to be satisfied with obtain- 
 ing her solely by the persuasion of her relations ; and that, 
 though the first refusals of the fair on such occasions are not 
 much minded, he knew with what an air she had received the 
 addresses of those whose persons she did not like. After this, 
 Monsieur le Chevalier, consider what method you intend to 
 pursue : for, if you are in love, the passion will still increase, 
 and the greater the attachment, the less capable will you be 
 of making those serious reflections that are now in your 
 power." 
 
 " My poor philosopher," answered the Chevalier de Gram- 
 mont, " you understand Latin very well, you can make good 
 verses, you understand the course, and are acquainted with 
 the nature of the stars in the firmament ; but, as for the lu- 
 minaries of the terrestrial globe, you are utterly unacquainted 
 with them : you have told me nothing about Miss Hamilton, 
 but what the king told me three days ago. That she has 
 refused the savages you have mentioned is all in her favour : 
 if she had admitted their addresses, I would have had nothing 
 to say to her, though I love her to distraction. Attend now 
 to what I am going to say : I am resolved to marry her, and I 
 will have my tutor Saint Ewemond himseK to be the first 
 man to commend me for it. As for an establishment, I shall 
 make my peace with the king, and will solicit him to make 
 her one of the ladies of the bed-chamber to the queen : this he 
 will grant me. Toulongeon will die, without my assistance,* 
 ' * Count de Toulongeon was elder brother to Count Grammont, who, 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GEAMMONT. 145 
 
 ^nd notwithstanding all his care ; and Miss Hamilton will have 
 Semeat,"^ with the Chevalier de Grammont, as an indemni- 
 fication for the JSTorfolks and Eichmonds. Now, have yon any- 
 thing to advance against this project ? For I will bet you 
 .an hundred louis, that everything will happen as I have fore- 
 told it." 
 
 At this time the king's attachment to Miss Stewart was so 
 public, that every person perceived, that if she was but pos- 
 sessed of art, she might become as absolute a mistress over his 
 conduct as she was over his heart. This was a fine opportu- 
 nity for those who had experience and ambition. The Duke 
 of Buckingham formed the design of governing her, in order 
 to ingratiate himself v/ith the king : God knows what a go- 
 vernor he would have been, and what a head he was possessed 
 of, to guide another ; however, he was the properest man in 
 the world to insinuate himseK with Miss Stewart : she was 
 childish in her behaviour, and laughed at everything, and her 
 taste for frivolous amusements, though unaffected, was only 
 allowable in a girl about twelve or thirteen years old. A 
 child, however, she was, in every other respect, except playing 
 with a doll : blind man's buff was her most favourite amuse- 
 ment: she was building castles of cards, while the deepest 
 play was going on in her apartments, where you saw her sur- 
 rounded by eager courtiers, who handed her the cards, or 
 young architects, who endeavoured to imitate her. 
 
 She had, however, a passion for music, and had some taste 
 for singing. The Duke of Buckingham, who built the finest 
 towers of cards imaginable, had an agreeable voice : she had 
 
 by his death, in 1679, became, according to St. Evremond, on that 
 event, one of the richest noblemen at court,— See St Evremond' s Works, 
 vol. ii., p. 327. 
 
 * A country seat belonging to the family of the Grammonts. 
 
 10 
 
146 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 no aversion to scandal : and the duke was both the father and 
 the mother of scandal, he made songs, and invented old women's 
 stories, with which she was delighted ; but his particular talent 
 consisted in turning into ridicule whatever was ridiculous in 
 other people, and in taking them off, even in their presence, 
 without their perceiving it : in short, he knew how to act all 
 parts mth so much grace and pleasantry, that it was difficult 
 to do without him, when he had a mind to make himself 
 agreeable ; and he made himself so necessary to Miss Stewart's 
 amusement, that she sent all over the town to seek for him, 
 when he did not attend the king to her apartments. 
 
 He was extremely handsome,* and still thought himself 
 
 * George Villiers, the second Duke of Buckingham, was born 30th 
 January, 1627. Lord Orford observes, " When this extraordinary man, 
 with the figure and genius of Alcibiades, could equally charm the 
 presbyterian Fairfax and the dissolute Charles ; when he alike ridi- 
 culed that witty king and his solemn chancellor : when he plotted the 
 ruin of his country with a cabal of bad ministers, or, equally unprin- 
 cipled, supported its cause with bad patriots, — one laments that such 
 parts should have been devoid of every virtue : but when Alcibiades 
 turns chemist ; when he is a real bubble and a visionary miser ; when 
 ambition is but a frolic ; when the worst designs are for the foolishest 
 ends, — contempt extinguishes all reflection on his character." 
 
 " The portrait of this duke has been drawn by four masterly hands. 
 Burnet has hewn it out with his rough chisel ; Coimt Hamilton touched 
 it with that slight delicacy that finishes whUe it seems but to sketch ; 
 Dryden caught the living likeness ; Pope completed the historical 
 resemblance." — Royal Authors, vol. ii., p. 78. 
 
 Of these four portraits, the second is in the text ; the other three will 
 complete the character of this extraordinary nobleman. 
 
 Bishop Burnet says, he " was a man of noble presence. He had a 
 gTeat hveUness of wit, and a pecuhar faculty of turning all things into 
 ridicule, with bold figures, and natural descriptions. He had no sort 
 of literature, only he was drawn into chemistry ; and for some years 
 he thought he was very near the finding the philosopher's stone, which 
 had the effect that attends on aU such men as he was, when they 
 are drawn in, to lay out for it. He had no principles of religion. 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GEAMMONT. 147 
 
 much more so than he really was : although he had a great deal 
 of discernment, yet his vanity made him mistake some civilities 
 
 virtue, or friendship : — pleasure, frolic, or extravagant diversion was 
 all that he laid to heart. He was true to nothing ; for he was not true 
 to himself. He had no steadiness nor conduct : he could keep no 
 secret, nor execute any design without spoiling it. He could never fix 
 his thoughts, nor govern his estate, though then the greatest in England. 
 He was bred about the king, and for many years he had a great ascend- 
 ency over him ; but he spake of him to aU persons with that contempt^ 
 that at last he drew a lasting disgrace upon himself. And he at length 
 ruined both body and mind, fortune and reputation equally. The mad- 
 ness of vice appeared in his person in very eminent instances ; since at 
 last he became contemptible and poor, sickly, and sunk in his parts, as 
 well as in all other respects ; so that his conversation was as much 
 avoided as ever it had been courted." — History of His Own Times,. 
 vol. i., p. 137. 
 
 Dryden's character of him is in these limes : 
 
 " In the first rank of these did Zimri stand ; 
 
 A man so various, that he seem'd to be 
 
 Not one, but all mankind's epitome : 
 
 Stiff in opinions, always in the wrong ; 
 
 Was everything by starts, and nothing long. 
 
 But, in the course of one revolving moon, 
 
 Was chemist, fiddler, statesman, and buffoon ; 
 
 Then all for women, painting, rhyming, drinking, 
 
 Besides ten thousand freaks that died in thinking. 
 
 Blest madman, who could every hour employ 
 
 With something new to wish or to enjoy ! 
 
 Railing and praising were his usual themes. 
 
 And both, to show his judgment, in extremes; 
 
 So over violent, or over civil. 
 
 That every man with him was god or devil. 
 
 In squandering wealth was his peculiar art ; 
 
 Nothing went unrewarded but desert. 
 
 Beggar'd by fools, whom still he found too late ; 
 
 He had his jest, and they had his estate : 
 
 He laugh'd himself from court, then sought relief 
 
 By forming parties, but could ne'er be chief ; 
 
 10—2 
 
 b 
 
148 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 as intended for his person, wliicli were only bestowed on his 
 wit and drollery: in short, being seduced by too good an 
 
 For, spite of him, the weight of business fell 
 On Absalom and wise Ahitophel : 
 Thus wicked but in will, of means bereft. 
 He left not faction, but of that was left." 
 
 Absalom and Ahitophel. 
 Pope describes the last scene of this nobleman's life in these lines : 
 " In the worst inn's worst room, with mat half hung, 
 The floors of plaster, and the walls of dung, 
 On once a flock -bed, but repair'd with straw. 
 With tape-tied curtains, never meant to draw ; 
 The George and Garter dangling from that bed, 
 Where tawdry yellow strove with dirty red, 
 Great Villiers lies : — alas ! how chang'd from him, 
 That life of pleasure, and that soul of whim ! 
 Gallant and gay, in Clieveden's proud alcove, 
 The bower of wanton Shrewsbury and love ; 
 Or, just as gay, at council, in a ring 
 Of mimic'd statesmen, and their merry king. 
 No wit, to flatter, left of all his store ! 
 No fool to laugh at, which he valued more. 
 There, victor of his health, of fortune, friends, 
 And fame, this lord of useless thousands ends." 
 
 Moral Essays, Epist. iii., 1. 299. 
 He died 16th April, 1688, at the house of a tenant, at Kirby Moor 
 Side, near Helmsly, in Yorkshire, aged 61 years, and was buried in 
 Westminster Abbey. 
 
 Though this note is already long, the reader will hardly complain at 
 an extension of it, by the addition of one more character of this licen- 
 tious nobleman, written by the able pen of the author of Hudibras. 
 " The Duke of Bucks is one that has studied the whole body of vice. 
 His parts are disproportionate to the whole, and, like a monster, he has 
 more of some, and less of others, than he should have. He has pulled 
 down all that nature raised in him, and built himself up again after a 
 model of his own. He has dammed up all those lights that nature 
 made into the noblest prospects of the world, and opened other little 
 blind loop-holes backward, by turning day into night, and night into 
 day. His appetite to his pleasures is diseased and crazy, like the pica 
 in a woman, that longs to eat that which was never made for food, or 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GEAMMONT. 149 
 
 opinion of his own merit, lie forgot his first project and his 
 Portuguese mistress, in order to pursue a fancy in which he 
 mistook himself ; for he no sooner began to act a serious part 
 with Miss Stewart, than he met with so severe a repulse that 
 he abandoned, at once, all his designs upon her : however, the 
 familiarity she had procured him with the king, opened the 
 way to those favours to which he was afterwards advanced. 
 
 a girl in the green sickness, that eats chalk and mortar. Perpetual 
 surfeits of pleasure have filled his mind with bad and vicious humours, 
 (as well as his body with a nursery of diseases,) which makes him affect 
 new and extravagant ways, as being sick and tired with the old. Con- 
 tinual wine, women, and music, put false value upon things, which, by 
 custom, become habitual, and debauch his understanding so, that he retains 
 no right notion nor sense of things. And as the same dose of the same 
 physic has no operation on those that are much used to it, so his plea- 
 sures require larger proportion of excess and variety, to render him 
 sensible of them. He rises, eats, and goes to bed by the Julian account, 
 long after all others that go by the new style, and keeps the same hours 
 with owls and the antipodes. He is a great observer of the Tartar 
 customs, and never eats till the great cham, having dined, makes pro- 
 clamation that all the world may go to dinner. He does not dwell in 
 his house, but haunts it like an evil spirit, that walks all night, to dis- 
 turb the family, and never appears by day. He lives perpetually be- 
 nighted, runs out of his life, and loses his time as men do their ways in 
 the dark : and as blind men are led by their dogs, so is he governed by 
 some mean servant or other, that relates to his pleasures. He is as in- 
 constant as the moon which he lives under ; and although he does 
 nothing but advise with his pillow all day, he is as great a stranger to 
 himself as he is to the rest of the world. His mind entertains all things 
 very freely that come and go, but, like guests and strangers, they are 
 not welcome if they stay long. This lays him open to all cheats, quacks, 
 and impostors, who apply to every particular humour while it lasts, 
 and afterwards vanish. Thus, with St. Paul, though in a different 
 sense, he dies daily, and only lives in the night. He deforms nature, 
 while he intends to adorn her, like Indians that hang jewels in their 
 lips and noses. His ears are perpetually drilled with a fiddlestick. He 
 endures pleasures with less patience than other men do their pains." — 
 jButler's Fostlmmous Works, vol. ii., p. 72. 
 
150 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GEAMMONT. 
 
 Lord Arlington* took up the project which the Duke of 
 Buckingham had abandoned, and endeavoured to gain posses- 
 sion of the mind of the mistress, in order to govern the master. 
 A man of greater merit and higher birth than himself might, 
 however, have been satisfied with the fortune he had already 
 acquired. His first negotiations were during the treaty of the 
 Pyrenees : and though he was unsuccessful in his proceedings 
 for his employer, yet he did not altogether lose his time ; for 
 he perfectly acquired, in his exterior, the serious air and j)ro- 
 found gravity of the Spaniards, and imitated pretty well their 
 tardiness in business : he had a scar across his nose, which 
 was covered by a long patch, or rather by a small plaister, in 
 form of a lozenge. 
 
 Scars in the face commonly give a man a certain fierce and 
 
 * Henry Bennet, Earl of Arlington, principal secretary of state, and 
 lord-chamberlain to King Charles II : a nobleman whose practices, 
 during- that reign, have not left his character free from reproach. Mr. 
 Macpherson says of him, that he "supplied the place of extensive 
 talents by an artful management of such as he possessed. Accom- 
 modating in his principles, and easy in his address, he pleased when 
 he was known to deceive ; and his manner acquired to him a kind of 
 influence where he commanded no respect. He was little calculated 
 for bold measures, on account of his natural timidity ; and that defect 
 created an opinion of his moderation, that was ascribed to virtue. His 
 facility to adopt new measures was forgotten in his readiness to acknow- 
 ledge the errors of the old. The deficiency of his integrity was for- 
 given in the decency of his dishonesty. Too weak not to be super- 
 stitious, yet possessing too much sense to own his adherence to the church 
 of Rome, he lived a protestant in his outward profession, but he died 
 a catholic. Timidity was the chief characteristic of his mind ; and 
 that being known, he was even commanded by cowards. He was the 
 man of the least genius of the party : but he had most experience in 
 that slow and constant current of business, which, perhaps, suits affairs 
 of state better than the violent exertions of men of great parts." — 
 Original Papers, vol. i. Lord Arlington died July 28, 1685. See a 
 character of him in Sheffield, Duke of Buckingham's Works. 
 
K A 7\ 1-. ( ii' Al?^ L 11^ G T €) It 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 151 
 
 martial air, which sets him off to advantage ; but it was quite 
 the contrary with him, and this remarkable plaister so well 
 suited his mysterious looks, that it seemed an addition to his 
 gravity and self-sufficiency. 
 
 Arlington, under the mask of this compound countenance 
 where great earnestness passed for business, and impenetrable 
 stupidity for secrecy, had given himseK the character of a great 
 politician ; and no one having leisure to examine him, he was 
 taken at his word, and had been made minister and secretary 
 of state, upon the credit of his own importance. 
 
 His ambition soaring still above these high stations, after 
 having provided himself with a great number of fine maxims, 
 and some historical anecdotes, he obtained an audience of Miss 
 Stewart, in order to display them ; at the same time offering 
 her his most humble services, and best advice, to assist her in 
 conducting herself in the situation to which it had pleased God 
 and her virtue to raise her. But he was only in the preface 
 of his speech, when she recollected that he was at the head of 
 those whom the Duke of Buckingham used to mimic ; and as 
 his presence and his language exactly revived the ridiculous 
 ideas that had been given her of him, she could not forbear 
 bursting out into a fit of laughter in his face, so much the 
 more violent as she had for a long time struggled to sup- 
 press it. 
 
 The minister was enraged : his pride became his post, and 
 his punctilious behaviour merited all the ridicule which could 
 be attached to it : he quitted her abruptly, with all the fine 
 advice he had prepared for her, and was almost tempted to 
 carry it to Lady Castlemaine, and to unite himself with her 
 interests ; or immediately to quit the court party, and declaim 
 freely in parliament against the grievances of the state, and 
 particularly to propose an act to forbid the keeping of mis- 
 
152 MEMOIES OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 tresses ; but liis prudence conquered Ms resentments ; and 
 thinking only how to enjoy with pleasure the blessings of 
 fortune, he sent to Holland for a wife,"^ in order to complete 
 his felicity. 
 
 Hamilton was, of all the courtiers, the best qualified to 
 succeed in an enterprise, in which the Duke of Buckingham 
 and Lord Arlington had miscarried: he was thinking upon 
 it; but his natural coquetry traversed his intentions, and 
 made him neglect the most advantageous prospects in the 
 world, in order unnecessarily to attend to the advances and 
 allurements thrown out to him by the Countess of Chester- 
 field. This was one of the most agreeable women in the 
 world : she had a most exquisite shape, though she was not 
 very tall; her complexion was extremely fair, with all the 
 expressive charms of a brunette; she had large blue eyes, 
 very tempting and alluring ; her manners were engaging ; her 
 wit lively and amusing ; but her heart, ever open to tender 
 sentiments, was neither scrupulous in point of constancy, nor 
 nice in point of sincerity. She was daughter to the Duke of 
 Ormond,-)- and Hamilton, being her cousin-german, they might 
 be as much as they pleased in each other's company without 
 being particular ; but as soon as her eyes gave him some en- 
 couragement, he entertained no other thoughts than how ta 
 
 * This lady was Isabella, daughter to Lewis de Nassau, Lord 
 Beverwaert, son to Maurice, Prince of Orange, and Count Nassau. 
 By her, Lord Arlington had an [only daughter, named Isabella, who 
 married, August 1, 1672, Henry, Earl of Euston, son to King Charles 
 11, , by Barbara, Duchess of Cleveland, created afterwards Duke of 
 Grafton ; and, after his death, to Sir Thomas Hanmer, Bart. She 
 assisted at the coronation of King George I., as Countess of Arlington^ 
 in her own right, and died February 7, 1722-3. 
 
 t And second wife of the Earl of Chesterfield. She survived the 
 adventures here related a very short time, dying in July, 1665, at the 
 age of 25 years. 
 
ij) Tum? :r s s ©f ^fibiT. .?^ ^ I'.miE' t_i?, _l.d 
 
MEMOIRS OF 
 
 please her, without consideriiig her fifeKleness, or the obstacles 
 he had to encounter. His intention, which we mentioned 
 before, of establishing himself in the confidence of Miss 
 Stewart, no longer occupied his thoughtsr^sltei^^iSGW was of 
 opinion that she was capable of being the mistress of her own 
 conduct : she had done all that was necessary to inflame the 
 king's passions, without exposing her virtue by granting the 
 last favours; but the eagerness of a passionate lover, blessed 
 with favourable op^Dortunities, is difficult to withstand, and 
 still more difficult to vanquish; and Miss Stewart's virtue 
 was almost exhausted, when the queen was attacked with a 
 violent fever, which soon reduced her to extreme danger. 
 
 Then it was that Miss Stewart was greatly pleased with 
 herself for the resistance she had made, though she had paid 
 dearly for it: a thousand flattering hopes of greatness and 
 glory filled her heart, and the additional respect that was 
 universally paid her, contributed not a little to increase them. 
 The queen was given over by her physicians :* the few Por- 
 tuguese women that had not been sent back to their own 
 country filled the court with doleful cries; and the good 
 nature of the king was much affected with the situation in 
 which he saw a princess, whom, though he did not love her, 
 yet he greatly esteemed. She loved him tenderly, and think- 
 ing that it was the last time she should ever speak to him, 
 
 * This happened in October, 1663. Lord Arlington, in a letter to 
 the Duke of Ormond, dated the 17th of that month, says, " the con- 
 dition of the queen is much worse, and the physicians give us but little 
 hopes of her recovery ; by the next you wiU hear she is either in a 
 fair way to it, or dead : to-morrow is a very critical day with her : 
 God's will be done. The king coming to see her this morning, she 
 told him she willingly left all the world but him ; which hath very 
 much afflicted his majesty, and all the court with him." — Brown's 
 Miscellanea Atilica, 1702, p. 306. 
 
164 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 she told him, that the concern he showed for her death, was 
 enough to make her quit life with regret ; but that not pos- 
 sessing charms sufficient to merit his tenderness, she had at 
 least the consolation in dying to give place to a consort who 
 might be more worthy of it, and to whom heaven, perhaps, 
 might grant a blessing that had been refused to her. At 
 these words, she bathed his hands with some tears, which he 
 thought would be her last : he mingled his own with hers ; 
 and without supposing she would take him at his word, he 
 conjured her to live for his sake. She had never yet dis- 
 obeyed him ; and, however dangerous sudden impulses may 
 be, when one is between life and death, this transport of joy, 
 which might have proved fatal to her, saved her life, and the 
 king's wonderful tenderness had an effect, for which every 
 person did not thank heaven in the same manner. 
 
 Jermyn had now for some time been recovered of his 
 wounds : however. Lady Castlemaine, finding his health in as 
 deplorable a condition as ever, resolved to regain the king's 
 heart, but in vain: for notwithstanding the softness of her 
 tears, and the violence of her passions. Miss Stewart wholly 
 possessed it. During this period the court was variously en- 
 tertained: sometimes there were promenades, and at others 
 the court beauties sallied out on horseback, and to make 
 attacks with their charms and graces, sometimes successfully, 
 sometimes otherwise, but always to .the best of their abilities : 
 at other seasons there were such shows on the river, as the 
 city of London alone can afford. 
 
 The Thames washes the sides of a large though not a mag- 
 nificent palace of the kings of Great Britain :* from the stairs 
 of this palace the court used to take water, in the summer 
 
 * This was Whitehall, which was burnt down, except the banquet- 
 ing-house, 4th January, 1698. — See Harleian Miscellany, vol. vi. p. 367. 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 155 
 
 evenings, when the heat and dust prevented their walking in 
 the park : an infinite number of open boats, filled with the 
 ■court and city beauties, attended the barges, in wliich were 
 the Eoyal Family : collations, music, and fireworks, completed 
 the scene. The Chevalier de Grammont always made one of 
 the company, and it was very seldom that he did not add 
 something of his own invention, agreeably to surprise by 
 some unexpected stroke of magnificence and gallantry. Some- 
 times he had complete concerts of vocal and instrumental 
 music, which he privately brought from Paris, and which 
 struck up on a sudden in the midst of these parties ; some- 
 times he gave banquets, which likewise came from France, 
 and which, even in the midst of London, surpassed the king's 
 <ioUations. These entertainments sometimes exceeded, as 
 others fell short of his expectations, but they always cost 
 him an immense deal of money. 
 
 Lord Falmouth was one of those who had the greatest 
 friendship and esteem for the Chevalier de Grammont : this 
 profusion gave him concern, and as he often used to go and 
 sup with him without ceremony, one day finding only Saint 
 Evremond there, and a supper fit for half a dozen guests, who 
 had been invited in form : " You must not," said he, address- 
 ing himself to the Chevalier de Grammont, " be obliged to me 
 for this visit. I come from the king's coucher, where all the 
 discourse was about you; and I can assure you that the 
 manner in which the king spoke of you, could not afford you 
 so much pleasure as I myself felt upon the occasion. You 
 know very well, that he has long since offered you his good 
 offices with the King of France ; and for my own part," con- 
 tinued he, smiling, " you know very well that I would solicit 
 him so to do, if it was not through fear of losing you as soon 
 as your peace is made ; but, thanks to Miss Hamilton, you 
 
158 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 for the king not being remarkable for its elegance, the Cheva- 
 lier de Grammont was of opinion that something ingenious 
 might be invented, which should partake of the ancient 
 fashion, and likewise prove preferable to the modern; he 
 therefore sent away Termes privately with all the necessary 
 instructions to Paris : the Duke of Guise was likewise charged 
 with this commission ; and the courier, having by the favour 
 of Providence escaped the quicksand, in a month's time 
 brought safely over to England the most elegant and mag- 
 nificent calash that had ever been seen, which the Chevalier 
 j)resented to the king. 
 
 The Chevalier de Grammont had given orders that fifteen 
 hundred louis should be expended upon it ; but the Duke of 
 Guise, who was his friend, to oblige him, laid out two thou- 
 sand. All the court was in admiration at the magnificence 
 of the present ; and the king, charmed with the Chevalier's 
 attention to everything which could afford him pleasure, 
 failed not to acknowledge it : he would not, however, accept 
 a present of so much value, but upon condition that the 
 Chevalier should not refuse another from him. 
 
 The queen, imagining that so splendid a carriage might 
 prove fortunate for her, wished to appear in it first, with the 
 Duchess of York. Lady Castlemaine, who had seen them in 
 it, thinking that it set off a fine figure to greater advantage than 
 any other, desired the king to lend her this wonderful calash 
 to appear in it the first fine day in Hyde Park : Miss Stewart 
 had the same wish, and requested to have it on the same day. 
 As it was impossible to reconcile these two goddesses, whose 
 former union was turned into mortal hatred, the king was 
 very much perplexed. 
 
 Lady Castlemaine was with child, and threatened to mis- 
 carry, if her rival was preferred; Miss Stewart threatened. 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 159 
 
 that she never would be with child, if her request was not 
 granted. This menace prevailed, and Lady Castlemaine's rage 
 was so great, that she had almost kept her word ; and it 
 was believed that this triumph cost her rival some of her 
 innocence. 
 
 The queen dowager, who, though she had no share in these 
 broils, had no objection to them, and as usual being diverted 
 with this circumstance, she took occasion to joke with the 
 Chevalier de Grammont, for having thrown this bone of con- 
 tention among such competitors ; and did not fail to give 
 him, in the presence of the whole court, those praises which 
 so magnificent a present deserved : " But how comes it," said 
 she, " that you have no equipage yourself, though you are 
 at so gTcat an expense ? for I am told that you do not keep 
 even a single footman, and that one of the common runners in 
 the streets lights you home with a stinking link." " Madam," 
 said he, " the Chevalier de Grammont hates pomp : my link- 
 boy, of whom you speak, is faithful to my service; and 
 besides, he is one of the bravest fellows in the world. Your 
 Majesty is unacquainted with the nation of link-boys : it is a 
 charming one, I can assure you : a man cannot step out in the 
 night without being surrounded by a dozen of them. The 
 first time I became acquainted with them, I retained all that 
 offered me their services ; so that when I arrived at White- 
 hall, I had at least two hundred about my chair : the sight 
 was new ; for those who had seen me pass with this illumina- 
 tion, asked whose funeral it was. These gentlemen, however, 
 began fighting about some dozen shillings I had thrown 
 among them then; and he whom your Majesty mentions 
 having beaten three or four of his companions, I retained him 
 for his valour. As for the parade of coaches and footmen, I 
 despise it : I have sometimes had five or six valets-de-chambre 
 
160 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 -at once, witliout having a single servant in livery, except my 
 chaplain Poussatin." "How!" said the queen, bursting out 
 laughing, "a chaplain in your livery! he surely was not a 
 priest ?" " Pardon me, madam," said he, " and the first priest 
 in the world for dancing the Biscayan jig." ^' Chevalier," 
 said the king, " pray tell us the history of your chaplain 
 Poussatin." 
 
 
PHI]Lj[BF,1RT COi>l[TjE. TD)JE. GIRAMM^^^-^" 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMOXT. 161 
 
 CHAPTEE VIIL 
 
 " Sir/' said the Clievalier de Granimont, " the Prince de Conde 
 besieged Lerida :* the place in itseK was nothing ; but Don 
 Gregorio Brice, who defended it, was something. He was one 
 of those Spaniards of the old stamp, as A'aliant as the Cid, as 
 prond as all the Guzmans pnt together, and more gallant than 
 all the Abencerrages of Grenada : he suffered ns to make our 
 first approaches to the place without the least molestation. 
 The Marshal de Granmiont,-[- whose maxun it was, that a 
 governor who at first makes a great blnstermg, and burns his 
 suburbs in order to make a noble defence, generally makes a 
 very bad one, looked upon Gregorio de Brice's politeness as no 
 good omen for us ; but the prince, covered with glory, and 
 elated with the campaigns of Eocroy, Norlinguen, and Tri- 
 bourg, to insult both the place and the governor, ordered the 
 
 * This was in 1647. Voltaire says "he, Conde, was accused, upon 
 this occasion, in certain books, of a bravado, in having opened the 
 trenches to the music of violins ; but these wiiters were ignorant that 
 this was the custom of Spain." — Age of Lo^iis XIY., chap. 2. 
 
 t Anthony, marechal of France. He appears to have quitted the 
 army In 1672. " Le Due de la Teuillade est colonel du regiment des 
 gardes sur la demission volontaire du Marechal de Grammont." H^- 
 Qimdfs History of Finance. He died, 1678. 
 
 11 
 
162 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 trendies to be mounted at noon-day by his own regiment, at 
 the head of which marched foiir-and-twenty fiddlers, as if it 
 had been to a wedding. 
 
 "Mght approaching, we were all in high spirits: our violins 
 were playing soft airs, and we were comfortably regaling our- 
 selves : God knows how we were joking about the poor gov- 
 ernor and his fortifications, both of which we promised our- 
 selves to take in less than twenty-four hours. This was going 
 on in the trenches, when we heard an ominous cry from the 
 ramparts, repeated two or three times, of, ' Alerte on the walls!' 
 This cry was followed by a discharge of cannon and musketry, 
 and this discharge by a vigorous sally, which, after having 
 filled up the trenches, pursued us as far as our grand guard. 
 
 " The next day Gregorio Brice sent by a trumpet a present 
 of ice and fruit to the Prince de Conde, humbly beseeching 
 his highness to excuse his not returning the serenade which 
 he was pleased to favour him with, as unfortunately he had 
 no violins ; but that if the music of last night was not dis- 
 agreeable to him, he would endeavour to continue it as long 
 as he did him the honour to remain before the place. The 
 Spaniard was as good as his word ; and as soon as we heard, 
 ** Alerte on the walls,' we were sure of a sally, that cleared our 
 trenches, destroyed our works, and killed the best of our offi- 
 cers and soldiers. The prince was so piqued at it, that, con- 
 trary to the opinion of the general officers, he obstinately 
 persisted in carrying on a siege which was like to ruin his 
 army, and which he was at last forced to quit in a hurry. 
 
 " As our troops were retiring, Don Gregorio, far from giving 
 himself those airs which governors generally do on such oc- 
 casions, made no other sally, than sending a respectful com- 
 pliment to the prince. Signer Brice set out not long after for 
 Madrid, to give an account of his conduct, and to receive the 
 
MEMOIES OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 163 
 
 recompense he had merited. Your majesty perhaps will be 
 desirous to know what reception poor Brice met with, after 
 having performed the most brilliant action the Spaniards could 
 boast of in all the war — he was confined by the inquisition." 
 
 " How !" said the Queen Dowager, " confined by the inqui- 
 sition for his services!" "Not altogether for his services," 
 s aid the Chevalier ; " but without any regard to his services, 
 he was treated in the manner I have mentioned for a little 
 affair of gallantry, which I shall relate to the King presently. 
 
 " The campaign of Catalonia being thus ended, we were re- 
 turning home, not overloaded with laurels ; but as the Prince 
 de Conde had laid up a great store on former occasions, and 
 as he had stiE. great projects in his head, he soon forgot this 
 trifling misfortune : we did nothing but joke with one another 
 during the march, and the prince was the first to ridicule the 
 siege. We made some of those rhymes on Lerida, which were 
 sung all over France, in order to prevent others more severe ; 
 however, we gained nothing by it, for notwithstanding we 
 treated ourselves freely in our own ballads, others were com- 
 posed in Paris in which we were ten times more severely 
 handled. At last we arrived at Perpignan upon a holy-day : 
 a company of Catalans, who were dancing in the middle of 
 the street^ out of respect to the prince came to dance under 
 his windows : Monsieur Poussatin, in a little black jacket, 
 danced in the middle of this company, as if he was really mad. 
 I immediately recognized him for my countryman, from his 
 manner of skipping and frisking about: the prince was 
 charmed with his humour and activity. After the dance, I 
 sent for him, and inquired who he was : ' A poor priest, at 
 your service, my lord,' said he : ^ my name is Poussatin, and 
 Beam is my native country : I was going into Catalonia to 
 serve in the infantry, for, God be praised, I can march very 
 
 11—2 
 
164 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GEAMMONT. 
 
 well on foot ; but since tlie war is happily concluded, if your 
 lordship pleases to take me into your service, I would follow 
 you everywhere, and serve you faithfully.' ' Monsieur Pous- 
 satin,' said I, ' my lordship has no great occasion for a chap- 
 lain ; but since you are so well disposed towards me, I will 
 take you into my service.' 
 
 " Tlie Prince de Conde, who Avas present at this conver- 
 sation, was overjoyed at my haAdng a chaplain. As poor 
 Poussatin was in a very tattered condition, I had no time 
 to provide him with a proper habit at Perpignan ; but giving 
 him a spare livery of one of the - Marshal de Grammont's 
 servants, I made him get up behind the prince's coach, who 
 •was lilvc to die with laughing every time he looked at poor 
 Poussatin's uncanonical mien in a yellow livery. 
 
 " As soon as we arrived at Paris, the story was told to the 
 Queen, who at first expressed some suprise at it : this, how- 
 ever, did not prevent her from wishing to see my chaplain 
 dance ; for in Spain it is not altogether so strange to see 
 ecclesiastics dance, as to see them in livery. 
 
 " Poussatin performed wonders before the Queen ; but as 
 he danced with great sprightliness, she could not bear the 
 odour which his violent motions diffused around her room : 
 the ladies likewise began to pray for relief ; for he had almost 
 entirely got the better of all the perfumes and essences with 
 which they were fortified : Poussatin, nevertheless, retired witl> 
 a great deal of applause, and some louis d'or. 
 
 " Some time afterwards I procured a small benefice in the 
 country for my chaplain, and I have since been informed 
 that Poussatin preached with the same ease in his village as 
 he danced at the wedding of his parishioners." 
 
 The King was exceedingly diverted at Poussatin's history ; 
 and the Queen was not much hurt at his having been put in 
 
MEMOIES OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 165 
 
 livery: the treatment of Gregorio Brice offended her far 
 more ; and being desirous to justify the court of Si3ain, with 
 respect to so cruel a proceeding : " Chevalier de Grammont," 
 said she, " what heresy did Governor Brice wish to introduce 
 into the state ? What crime against religion was he charged 
 with, that he was confined in the inquisition ?" " Madam," 
 said he, " the history is not A'-ery proper to be related before 
 your majesty: it was a little amorous frolic, ill-timed in- 
 deed ; but poor Brice meant no harm : a school-boy would 
 not have been whipped for such a fault, in the most severe 
 college in France ; as it was only for giving some proofs of 
 his affection to a young Spanish fair one, who had fixed her 
 eyes upon him on a solemn occasion." 
 
 The King desired to know the particulars of the adven- 
 ture ; and the Chevalier gratified his curiosity, as soon as the 
 Queen and the rest of the court were out of hearing. It 
 was very entertaining to hear him tell a story ; but it was 
 very disagreeable to differ with him, either in competition, or 
 in raillery : it is true that at that time there were few per- 
 sons at the English court who had merited his indignation : 
 PiusseU was sometimes the subject of his ridicule, but he 
 treated him far more tenderly than he usually did a rival. 
 
 This Eussell was one of the most furious dancers in all 
 England, I mean, for country dances : he had a collection of 
 two or three hundred in 23rint, all of which he danced at sight ; 
 and to prove that he was not an old man, he sometimes danced 
 until he was almost exhausted : his mode of dancing was lilve 
 that of his clothes, for they both had been out of fashion full 
 twenty years. 
 
 The Chevalier de Grammont was very sensible that he was 
 very much in love ; but though he saw very weU that it only 
 rendered him more ridiculous, yet he felt some concern at the 
 
166 MEMOIES OF COUNT GEAMMONT. 
 
 information lie received, of his intention of demanding Miss 
 Hamilton in marriage ; but Ms concern did not last long. 
 
 Eussell, being upon the point of setting out on a journey^ 
 thought it was proper to acquaint his mistress with his inten- 
 tions before his departure. The Chevalier de Grammont was 
 a great obstacle to the interview, he was desirous of obtaining 
 of her ; but being one day sent for, to go and play at Lady 
 Castlemaine's, Eussell seized the opportunity, and addressing 
 himself to Miss Hamilton, with less embarrassment than is 
 usual on such occasions, he made his declaration to her in the 
 following manner : " I am brother to the Earl of Bedford : I 
 command the regiment of guards: I have three thousand 
 pounds a year, and fifteen thousand in ready money: all 
 which, madam, I come to present to you, along with my 
 person. One present, I agree, is not worth much without the 
 other, and therefore I put them together. I am advised to go 
 to some of the watering places for something of an asthma, 
 which, in all probability, cannot continue much longer, as I 
 have had it for these last twenty years : if you look upon me 
 as worthy of the happiness of belonging to you, I shall propose 
 it to your father, to whom I did not think it right to apply 
 before I was acquainted with your sentiments : my nephew 
 William is at present entirely ignorant of my intention ; but 
 I believe he will not be sorry for it, though he will thereby 
 see himself deprived of a pretty considerable estate ; for he 
 has great affection for me, and besides, he has a pleasure in 
 paying his respects to you since he has perceived my attach- 
 ment. I am very much pleased that he should make his 
 court to me, by the attention he pays to you; for he did 
 nothing but squander his money upon that coquet Middleton, 
 while at present he is at no expense, though he frequents the 
 best company in England." 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GEAMMONT. 167 
 
 Miss Hamilton had much difficulty to supi^ress her laughter 
 during this harangue : however, she told him that she thought 
 herself much honoured by his intentions towards her, and still 
 more obliged to him for consulting her, before he made any 
 overtures to her relations : " It will be time enough," said she, 
 " to speak to them upon the subject at your return from the 
 waters ; for I do not think it is at all probable that they will 
 dispose of me before that time, and in case they should be 
 urgent in their solicitations, your nephew William will take 
 care to acquaint you; therefore, you may set out whenever 
 you think proper ; but take care not to injure your health by 
 returning too soon." 
 
 The Chevalier de Grammont, having heard the particulars 
 of this conversation, endeavoured, as well as he could, to be 
 entertained with it ; though there were certain circumstances 
 in the declaration, notwithstanding the absurdity of others, 
 which did not fail to give him some uneasiness. Upon the 
 whole, he was not sorry for Eussell's departure ; and, assuming 
 an air of pleasantry, he went to relate to the king how 
 Heaven had favoured him by delivering him from so dan- 
 gerous a rival. " He is gone then, Chevalier," said the king. 
 " Certainly, sir," said he ; "I had the honour to see him em- 
 bark in a coach, with his asthma, and country equipage, his 
 perruque a calotte, neatly tied with a yellow riband, and his 
 old-fashioned hat covered with oil skin, which becomes him 
 uncommonly well: therefore, I have only to contend with 
 William Eussell, whom he leaves as his resident with Miss 
 Hamilton ; and as for him, I neither fear him upon his own 
 account, nor his uncle's ; he is too much in love himself to 
 pay attention to the interests of another ; and as he has but 
 one method of promoting his own, which is by sacrificing the 
 portrait, or some love-letters of Mrs. Middleton, I have it 
 
168 MEMOIES OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 easily in my power to counteract him in such kind of favours, 
 though I confess I have pretty well paid for them." 
 
 " Since your affairs proceed so prosperously with the Eus- 
 sells," said the king, " I will acquaint you that you are de- 
 livered from another rival, much more dangerous, if he were 
 not already married: my brother has lately fallen in love 
 with Lady Chesterfield." "How many blessings at once!" 
 exclaimed the Chevalier de Grammont: "I have so many 
 obligations to him for this inconstancy, that I would wil- 
 lingly serve him in his new amour, if Hamilton was not his 
 rival : nor will your majesty take it ill, if I promote the in- 
 terests of my mistress's brother, rather than those of your 
 majesty's brother." " Hamilton, however," said the king, 
 " does not stand so much in need of assistance, in affairs of 
 this nature, as the Duke of York ; but I know Lord Chester- 
 field is of such a disposition, that he will not suffer men to 
 quarrel about his wife, with the same patience as the com- 
 plaisant Shrewsbury ; though he well deserves the same fate." 
 Here follows a true description of Lord Chesterfield.* 
 
 He had a very agreeable face, a fine head of hair, an indif- 
 ferent shape, and a worse air ; he was not, however, deficient 
 in wit : a long residence in Italy had made him ceremonious 
 in his commerce with men, and jealous in his connection with 
 women : he had been much hated by the king ; because he 
 
 * PhiHp, the second Earl of Chesterfield. He was constituted, in 
 1 662, lord-chamberlain to the queen, and colonel of a regiment of foot, 
 June 13, 1667. On November 29, 1679, he was appointed lord-warden 
 and chief -justice of the king's forests on this side Trent, and sworn of 
 the privy-council, January 26, 1680. On November 6, 1682, he was made 
 colonel of the third regiment of foot, which, with the rest of his pre- 
 ferments, he resigned on the accession of James II. He lived to the 
 age of upwards of 80, and died, January 28, 17 13, at his house, in 
 Bloomsbury-square. 
 
■irzidyi: 
 
 JE.Scriyen S. 
 
 lEAIil. 01' CSlESTElRrilE.XlD 
 
1 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 169 
 
 had been much beloved by Lady Castlemaine : it was re- 
 ported that he had been in her good graces prior to her 
 marriage ; and as neither of them denied it, it was the more 
 .generally believed. 
 
 He had paid his devoirs to the eldest daughter of the Duke 
 of Ormond, while his heart was still taken up with his former 
 passion : the king's love for Lady Castlemaine, and the ad- 
 vancement he expected from such an alliance, made him press 
 "the match with as much ardour as if he had been passionately 
 in love : he had therefore married Lady Chesterfield without 
 loving her, and had lived some time with her in such cool- 
 ness as to leave her no room to doubt of his indifference. 
 As she was endowed with great sensibility and delicacy, she 
 suffered at this contempt : she was at first much affected with 
 his behaviour, and afterwards enraged at it; and, when he 
 •began to give her proofs of liis affection, she had the pleasure 
 of convincing him of her indifference. 
 
 They were upon this footing, when she resolved to cure 
 Hamilton, as she had lately done her husband, of all his re- 
 maining tenderness for Lady Castlemaine. For her it was no 
 'difficult undertaking: the conversation of the one was dis- 
 agreeable, from the unpohshed state of her manners, her ill- 
 timed pride, her uneven temper, and extravagant humours : 
 Lady Cliesterfield, on the contrary, knew how to heighten 
 her charms with all the bewitching attractions in the power 
 of a woman to invent who wishes to make a conquest. 
 
 Besides all this, she had greater opportunities of making 
 advances to him than to any other : she lived at the Duke 
 of Ormond's, at Whitehall, where Hamilton, as was said 
 before, had free admittance at all hours : her extreme cold- 
 ness, or rather the disgust which she showed for her husband's 
 returning affection, wakened his natural inclination to jealousy: 
 
170 MEMOIES OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 lie suspected that she could not so very suddenly pass from 
 anxiety to indifference for him, without some secret object of 
 a new attaclmient ; and, according to the maxim of all jealous 
 husbands, he immediately put in practice all his experience 
 and industry, in order to make a discovery, iwhich was to 
 destroy his own happiness. 
 
 Hamilton, who knew his disposition, was, on the other 
 hand, upon his guard, and the more he advanced in his in- 
 trigue, the more attentive was he to remove every degree of 
 suspicion from the Earl's mind : he pretended to make him 
 his confidant, in the most unguarded and open manner, of his 
 passion for Lady Castlemaine : he complained of her caprice, 
 and most earnestly desired his advice how to succeed with a 
 person whose affections he alone had entirely possessed. 
 
 Chesterfield, who was flattered with this discourse, ])vo- 
 mised him his protection with greater sincerity than it had 
 been demanded: Hamilton, therefore, was no further em- 
 barrassed than to preserve Lady Chesterfield's reputation, 
 who, in his opinion, declared herself rather too openly in his 
 favour : but whilst he was diligently employed in regulatingv 
 within the rules of discretion, the partiality she expressed for 
 him, and in conjuring her to restrain her glances within 
 bounds, she was receiving those of the Duke of York ; and, 
 what is more, made them favourable returns. 
 
 He thought that he had perceived it, as well as every one 
 besides ; but he thought likewise, that all the world was de- 
 ceived as well as himself: how could he trust liis own eyes, 
 as to what those of Lady Chesterfield betrayed for this new 
 rival ? He could not think it probable, that a woman of her 
 dis^Dosition could relish a man, whose manners had a thousand 
 times been the subject of their private ridicule ; but what he 
 judged still more improbable was, that she should begin 
 
MEMOIRS OF cou:n^t geammont. 171 
 
 another intrigue before she had given the finishing stroke to 
 that in which her own advances had engaged her : however,, 
 he began to observe her with more circumspection, when he 
 found by his discoveries, that if she did not deceive him, at 
 least the desire of doing so was not wanting. This he took 
 the liberty of telluig her of ; but she answered him in so high 
 a strain, and treated what he said so much like a phantom of 
 his own imagination, that he appeared confused without being 
 convinced : all the satisfaction he could j^rocure from her, was 
 her telling him, in a haughty manner, that such unjust re- 
 proaches as his ought to have had a better foundation. 
 
 Lord Chesterfield had taken the same alarm; and being 
 convinced, from the observations he had made, that he had 
 found out the happy lover who had gained possession of his 
 lady's heart, he was satisfied ; and without teasing her with 
 unnecessary reproaches, he only waited for an opportunity ta 
 confound her, before he took his measures. 
 
 After all, how can we account for Lady Chesterfield's con- 
 duct, unless we attribute it to the disease incident to most 
 coquettes, who, charmed with superiority, put in practice 
 every art to rob another of her conquest, and spare nothing, 
 to preserve it. 
 
 But before we enter into the particulars of this adventure, 
 let us take a retrospect of the amours of his Eoyal Highness, 
 prior to the declaration of his marriage, and particularly of 
 what immediately preceded this declaration. It is allowable 
 sometimes to drop the thread of a narrative, when real facts,, 
 not generally known, give such a variety upon the digression 
 as to render it excusable : let us see then how those thino\s 
 happened. 
 
 The Duke of York's marriage,"^ with the chancellor's 
 
 * The material facts in this narrative are confirmed by Lord Claren- 
 
Iv2 MEMOIES OF COUNT GEAMMONT. 
 
 daughter, was deficient in none of those circumstances which 
 render contracts of this nature valid in the eye of heaven : 
 the mutual inclination, the formal ceremony, witnesses, and 
 every essential point of matrimony, had been observed. 
 
 Though the bride was no perfect beauty, yet, as there were 
 none at the court of Holland who eclipsed her, the Duke, 
 during the first endearments of matrimony, was so far from 
 repenting of it, that he seemed only to wish for the King's 
 restoration that he might have an opportunity of declaring 
 it with splendour ; but when he saw himself enjoying a rank 
 which placed him so near the throne; when the possession 
 of Miss Hyde afforded him no new charms ; when England, 
 so abounding in beauties, displayed all that was charming and 
 lovely in the court of the King his brother ; and when he 
 considered he was the only prince, who, from such superior 
 elevation, had- descended so low, he began to reflect upon it. 
 On the one hand, liis marriage appeared to him particularly 
 ill suited in every respect : he recollected that Jermyn had 
 not engaged him in an intimacy with Miss Hyde, until he had 
 €onvinced him, by several different circumstances, of the 
 facility of succeeding: he looked upon his marriage as an 
 infringement of that duty and obedience he owed to the 
 King ; the indignation with which the court, and even the 
 whole kingdom, would receive the account of his marriage 
 presented itself to his imagination, together with the im- 
 possibdity of obtaining the King's consent to such an act, 
 which for a thousand reasons he would be obliged to refuse. 
 On the other hand, the tears and despair of poor Miss Hyde 
 
 don. — Continuation of his Life, p. 33. It is difficult to speak of the 
 persons concerned in this infamous transaction without some degree of 
 asperity, notwithstanding they are, by a strange perversion of language, 
 styled, all men of honour. 
 
.rcrT. 
 
 T :HI €) IM A. S . KI TL J . 1R c& '!^.l^^^^ 
 
I 
 
MEMOIES OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 17 o 
 
 presented themselves ; and still more than that, he felt a 
 remorse of conscience, the scruples of which began from 
 that time to rise up against him. 
 
 In the midst of this perplexity he opened his heart to 
 Lord Ealmoiith, and consulted with him what method he 
 ought to pursue : He could not have applied to a better man 
 for his own interests, nor to a worse for Miss Hyde's ; for at 
 first, Falmouth maintained not only that he was not married' 
 but that it was even impossible that he could ever have 
 formed such a thought ; that any marriage was invalid for 
 him, which was made without the King's consent, even if the 
 party was a suitable match : but that it was a mere jest, 
 even to tliink of the daughter of an insignificant lawyer, 
 whom the favour of his sovereign had lately made a peer of 
 the realm, without any noble blood, and chancellor, without 
 any capacity ; that as for his scruples, he had only to give 
 ear to some gentlemen whom he could introduce, who would 
 thoroughly inform him of Miss Hyde's conduct before he 
 became acquainted with her ; and provided he did not tell 
 them that he really was married, he would soon have suffi- 
 cient grounds to come to a determination. 
 
 The Duke of York consented, and Lord Falmouth, having 
 assembled both his council and his witnesses, conducted them 
 to his Eoyal Highness's cabinet, after having instructed them 
 how to act : these gentlemen were the Earl of Arran, Jermyn, 
 Talbot, and Killegrew, all men of honour ; but who infinitely 
 preferred the Duke of York's interest to Miss Hyde's repu- 
 tation, and who, besides, were greatly dissatisfied, as well 
 as the whole court, at the insolent authority of the prime 
 minister. 
 
 The Duke having told them, after a sort of preamble, that 
 although they could not be ignorant of his aftection for Miss 
 
174 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 Hyde, yet they might be unacquainted with the engagements 
 his tenderness for her had induced him to contract ; that he 
 thought himself obliged to perform all the promises he had 
 made her ; but as the innocence of persons of her age was 
 generally exposed to court scandal, and as certain reports, 
 whether false or true, had been spread abroad on the subject 
 of her conduct, he conjured them as his friends, and charged 
 them upon their duty, to tell liim sincerely everything they 
 knew upon the subject, since he was resolved to make their 
 evidence the rule of his conduct towards her. They all 
 appeared rather reserved at first, and seemed not to dare to 
 give their opinions upon an affair of so serious and delicate 
 a nature ; but the Duke of York having renewed his in- 
 treaties, each began to relate the particulars of what he knew, 
 and perhaps of more than he knew, of poor Miss Hyde ; nor 
 •did they omit any circumstance necessary to strengthen the 
 evidence. For instance the Earl of Arran, who spoke first, 
 deposed, that in the gallery at Honslaerdyk, where the 
 Countess of Ossory, his sister-in-law, and Jermyn, were 
 playing at nine-pins, Miss Hyde, pretending to be sick, 
 retired to a chamber at the end of the gallery ; that he, the 
 deponent, had followed her, and having cut her lace, to give a 
 greater probability to the pretence of the vapours, he had 
 acquitted himself to the best of his abilities, both to assist 
 and to console her. 
 
 Talbot said, that she had made an appointment with him 
 in the chancellor's cabinet, while he was in council; and, 
 that, not paying so much attention to what was upon the 
 table as to what they were engaged in, they had spilled a 
 bottle full of ink upon a despatch of four pages, and that the 
 King's monkey, which was blamed for this accident, had been 
 a long time in disgrace. 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 175 
 
 Jermyn mentioned many places where he had received long 
 .land favourable audiences : however, all these articles of accu- 
 sation amounted only to some delicate familiarities, or at 
 most, to what is generally denominated the innocent part of 
 .an intrigue; but Killegrew, who wished to surpass these 
 trivial depositions, boldly declared that he had had the 
 honour of being upon the most intimate terms with her: 
 he was of a sprightly and witty humour, and had the art of 
 telling a story in the most entertaining manner, by the grace- 
 ful and natural turn he could give it : he affirmed that he had 
 found the critical minute in a certain closet built over the 
 water, for a purpose very different from that of giving ease 
 to the pains of love : that three or four swans had been wit- 
 nesses to Ms happiness, and might perhaps have been wit- 
 nesses to the happiness of many others, as the lady frequently 
 repaired to that place, and was particularly delighted 
 with it. 
 
 The Duke of York found this last accusation greatly out of 
 bounds, being convinced he himself had sufficient proofs of 
 the contrary : he therefore returned thanks to these officious 
 informers for their frankness, ordered them to be silent for 
 the future upon what they had been telling him, and imme- 
 diately passed into the King's apartment. 
 
 As soon as he had entered the cabinet. Lord Falmouth, 
 who had followed him, related what had passed to the Earl of 
 Ossory, whom he met in the presence chamber: they strongly 
 suspected what was the subject of the conversation of the two 
 brothers, as it was long ; and the Duke of York appeared to 
 be in such agitation when he came out, that they no longer 
 •doubted that the result had been unfavourable for poor Miss 
 Hyde. Lord Falmouth began to be affected for her disgrace, 
 and to relent that he had been concerned in it, when the 
 
176 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GEAMMOXT. 
 
 Duke of York told him and the Earl of Ossoiy to meet him 
 in about an hour's time at the chancellor's. 
 
 They were rather surprised that he should have the cruelty 
 himself to announce such a melancholy piece of news : they 
 found his Koyal Highness at the appointed hour in Miss 
 Hyde's chamber : a few tears trickled down her cheeks,, 
 which she endeavoured to restrain. The chancellor, leaning 
 against the wall, appeared to them to be puffed up with some- 
 thing, which they did not doubt was rage and despair. The 
 Duke of York said to them, with that serene and j)leasant 
 countenance with which men generally announce good news :. 
 " As you are the two men of the court whom I most esteem, 
 I am desirous you should first have the honour of paying 
 your compliments to the Duchess of York : there she is." 
 
 Surprise was of no use, and astonishment was unseasonable' 
 on the present occasion : tliey were, however, so greatly pos- 
 sessed with both surprise and astonishment, that in order ta 
 conceal it, they immediately fell on their knees to kiss her 
 hand, which she gave to them with as much majesty as if she^ 
 had been used to it all her life. 
 
 The next day the news was made public, and the whole 
 court was eager to pay her that respect, from a sense of duty,, 
 which in the end became very sincere. 
 
 The petits-maitres who had spoken against her, seeing 
 their intentions disa^Dpointed, were not a little embarrassed. 
 Women are seldom accustomed to forgive injuries of this 
 nature ; and, if they promise themselves the pleasure of re- 
 venge, when they gain the power they seldom forget it : in 
 the present case, however, the fears of these petits-maitres 
 were their only punishment. 
 
 The Duchess of York, being fully informed of all that was 
 said in the cabinet concerning her, instead of showing the 
 
ILABT SOUTinjE S K 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT, 177 
 
 least, resentment, studied to distinguish, by all manner of 
 kindness and good offices, tliose who had attacked her in so 
 sensible a part ; nor did she ever mention it to them, but 
 in order to praise their zeal, and to tell them : " that nothing 
 was a greater proof of the attachment of a man of honour, 
 than his being more solicitous for the interest of his friend or 
 master, than for his own reputation :" a remarkable example 
 of prudence and moderation, not only for tlie fair sex, but 
 even for those who value themselves most upon their philo- 
 sophy among the men. 
 
 The Duke of York, having quieted his conscience by the 
 declaration of his marriage, tliought that lie was entitled, by this 
 generous effort, to give way a little to his inconstancy : he 
 therefore immediately seized upon whatever he could first lay 
 his hands upon: this, was .Lady Carnegy,* who had been in 
 several other hands. She was still tolerably handsome, and 
 her disposition, naturally inclined to tenderness, did not 
 oblige her new lover long to languish. Everytliing coin- 
 cided with , their wishes for some* time : Lord Carnegy, her 
 husband, wa^s Jn • Scotland ; but his father dying suddenly, he 
 as suddenly returned with the title of Southesk, which his 
 Avife detested ; but which she took more patiently than she 
 received t]ie news of his return. Some private intimation 
 Lad been given him of the honour that was done him in his 
 absence : nevertheless, he did not show his jealousy at first ; 
 but, as he was desirous to be satisfied of the reality of the 
 fact, he kept a strict watch over his wife's actions. The 
 Duke of York and her ladyship had, for some time, been upon 
 such terms of intimacy, as not to pass their time in frivolous 
 amusements ; however, the husband's return obliged them to 
 
 * Anne, daughter of William, Duke of Hamilton, and wife of Kobert 
 Carnegy, Earl of Southesk. 
 
 12 
 
178 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 maintain some decorum : he therefore never went to her 
 house, but in form, that is to say, always accompanied by 
 some friend or other, to give his amours at least the ap- 
 pearance of a visit. 
 
 About this time Talbot* returned from Portugal : this 
 connection had taken place during his absence ; and without 
 knowing who Lady Southesk was, he had been informed that 
 his master was in love with her. 
 
 A few days after his arrival, he was carried, merely to keep 
 up appearances, to her house by the duke ; and after being 
 introduced, and some compliments having been paid on both 
 sides, he thought it his duty to give his Eoyal Highness an 
 opportunity to pay his compliments, and accordingly retired 
 into the ante- chamber, which looked into the street, and 
 placed himself at the window to view the people as they 
 passed. 
 
 He was one of the best meaning men in the world on such 
 occasions ; but was so subject to forgetfulness, and absence of 
 mind, that he once forgot, and left behind him at London, a 
 complimentary letter which the duke had given him for the 
 Infanta of Portugal, and never recollected it till he was going 
 to his audience. 
 
 He stood sentry, as we have before said, very attentive to 
 his instructions, when he saw a coach stop at the door, with- 
 out being in the least concerned at it, and still less, at a man 
 whom he saw get out of it, and whom he immediately heard 
 coming upstairs. 
 
 The devil, who ought to be civil upon such occasions, forgot 
 
 himself in the present instance, and brought up Lord Southesk 
 
 in propria persona : his Eoyal Highness's equipage had been 
 
 sent home, because my lady had assured him that her hus- 
 
 * Afterwards Duke of Tyrconnel, — See note on p, 222. 
 
MEMOIES OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 179 
 
 band was gone to see a bear and a bull baiting, an entertain- 
 ment in which he took great delight, and from whence he 
 seldom returned until it was very late ; so that Southesk, not 
 seeing any equipage at the door, little imagined that he had 
 such good company in his house ; but if he was surprised to 
 see Talbot carelessly lolling in his wife's ante-chamber, his 
 surprise was soon over. Talbot, who had not seen him since 
 they were in Flanders, and never supposing that he had 
 changed his name : " Welcome,, Carnegy, welcome, my good 
 fellow," said he, giving him his hand, " where the devil have 
 you been, that I have never been able to set eyes on you 
 since we were at Brussels ? What business brought you 
 here ? Do you likewise wish to see Lady Southesk ? If 
 this is your intention, my poor friend, you may go away 
 again ; for I must inform you, the Duke of York is in love 
 with her, and I will tell you in confidence, that, at this very 
 time, he is in her chamber." 
 
 Southesk, confounded as one may suppose, had no time to 
 answer all these fine questions : Talbot, therefore, attended 
 him downstairs as his friend; and, as his humble servant, 
 advised him to seek for a mistress elsewhere. Southesk, not 
 knowing what else to do at that time, returned to his coach ; 
 and Talbot, overjoyed at the adventure, impatiently waited 
 for the duke's return, that he might acquaint him with it ; 
 but he was very much surprised to find that the story afforded 
 no pleasure to those who had the principal share in it ; and 
 his greatest concern was, that Carnegy had changed his name, 
 as if only to draw him into such a confidence. 
 
 This accident broke off a commerce which the Duke of 
 York did not much regret ; and indeed it was happy for him 
 that he became indifferent ; for the traitor Southesk meditated 
 
 12—2 
 
180 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 a revenge,* whereby, witliout using either assassination or 
 poison, he would have obtained some satisfaction upon those 
 ^ who had injured him, if the connection had continued any 
 longer. 
 
 He Avent to tlie most infamous places, to seek for the most 
 infamous disease, which he met with; but his revenge was 
 only half completed ; for after he had gone through every 
 remedy to get quit of his disease, his lady did but return him 
 his j)resent, having no more connection with the person for 
 whom it was so industriously prepared. 
 
 Lady Robarts*f* was then in the zenith of her glory ; her 
 
 * Bishop Burnet, taking notice of the Duke of York's amours, says, 
 " a story was set about, and generally believed, that the Earl of South- 
 esk, that had married a daughter of the Duke of Hamilton's, suspecting 
 some familiarities between the duke and his wife, had taken a sure 
 method to procure a disease to himself, which he communicated to his 
 wife, and was, by that means, sent round till it came to the duchess. 
 Lord South esk was, for some years, not ill pleased to have this believed. 
 It looked like a peculiar strain of revenge, with which he seemed much 
 delighted. But I know he has, to some of his friends, denied the whole 
 of the story very solemnly." — History of His Oivn Times, vol. i.,p. 319. 
 It is worthy of notice that the passage in the text was omitted in most 
 editions of Grammont, and retained in that of Strawberry-hill, in 1772. 
 
 + Lord Orford says, this lady was Sarah, daughter of John Bodville 
 of Bodville castle, in Caernarvonshire, wife of Eobert Eobarts, who 
 died in the lifetime of his father, and was eldest son of John, Earl of 
 Eadnor. This, however, may be doubted. There was no Earl of Eadnor 
 until the year 1679, which was after the date of most, if not all the 
 transactions related in this work; consequently, no other person, who 
 could be called Lord Eobarts, than John, the second lord, who was 
 created Earl of Eadnor, with whose character several of the qualities 
 here enumerated, particularly his age, moroseness, &c., will be found to 
 agree. Supposing this to be admitted, the lady will be Isabella, daughter 
 of Sir John Smith Knight, second wife of the above John, Lord 
 Eobarts, whose character is thus pourtrayed by Lord Clarendon : — 
 " Though of a good understanding, he was of so morose a nature, that 
 it was no easy matter to treat with him. He had some pedantic 
 
i 
 
 JHrX.Itlv I. 
 
 I, AIDX :R ( ) 15 A3^ T ;^ 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 181 
 
 beaiit/y was striking ; yet, notwithstanding the brightness of 
 the finest complexion, with all the bloom of youth, and withT 
 every requisite for inspiring desire, she nevertheless was not 
 attractive. The Duke of York, however, would probably have 
 been successful, if difficulties, almost insurmountable, had not 
 disappointed his good intentions : Lord Eobarts, her husband, 
 was an old, snarling, troublesome, peevish fellow, in love with 
 her to distraction, and to complete her misery, a perpetual 
 attendant on her person. 
 
 She perceived his Eoyal Highness's attachment to her, and 
 seemed as if she was inclined to be grateful : tliis redoubled 
 liis eagerness, and every outward mark of tenderness he could 
 possibly show her ; but the watchful husband redoubling his 
 zeal and assiduity, as he found the approaches advance, every 
 art was practised to render him tractable : several attacks were 
 made upon his avarice and his ambition. Those who possessed 
 the greatest share of his confidence, insinuated to him that it 
 was his own fault if Lady Eobarts, who was so worthy of being 
 at court, was not received into some considerable post, either 
 
 parts of learning, which made his other parts of judgment the worst. 
 He was naturally proud and imperious, which humour was increased by 
 an ill education ; for, excepting some years spent in the Inns of Court, 
 he might very justly be said to have been born and bred in Cornwall. 
 When lord-deputy in Ireland, he received the information of the chief 
 persons there so negligently, and gave his answers so scornfully, that 
 they besought the king that they might not be obliged to attend him 
 any more : but he was not a man that was to be disgraced and thrown 
 off without much inconvenience and hazard. He had parts, which in 
 council and parliament, were very troublesome ; for, of all men alive, 
 who had so few friends, he had the most followers. They who con- 
 versed most with him knew him to have many humours which were 
 very intolerable ; they who were but little acquainted with him took 
 Jiim to be a man of much knowledge, and called his morosity gravity/ 
 — Continimtion of Clarendon^ p. 102. 
 
182 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 about the queen or the duchess : he was offered to be made 
 Lord Lieutenant of the county where his estate was; or 
 to have the management of the Duke of York's revenues in 
 Ireland, of which he should have the entire disposal, provided 
 he immediately set out to take possession of his charge ; and 
 having accomplished it, he might return as soon as ever he 
 thought proper. 
 
 He perfectly well understood the meaning of these proposals, 
 and was fully apprised of the advantages he might reap from 
 them : in vain did ambition and avarice hold out their allure- 
 ments ; he was deaf to all their temptations, nor could ever the 
 old fellow be persuaded to be made a cuckold. It is not always 
 an aversion to, or a dread of this distinction, which preserves 
 us from it : of this her husband was very sensible ; therefore, 
 under the pretence of a pilgrimage to Saint Winifred, the vir- 
 gin and martyr, who was said to cure women of barrenness, 
 he did not rest, until the highest mountains in Wales were 
 between his wife and the person who had designed to perform 
 this miracle in London, after his departure. 
 
 The duke was for some time entirely taken up with the 
 pleasures of the chase, and only now and then engaged in 
 those of love ; but liis taste having undergone a change in this 
 particular, and the remembrance of Lady Eobarts wearing off 
 by degrees, his eyes and wishes were turned towards Miss 
 Brook ; and it was in the height of this pursuit that Lady 
 Chesterfield threw herself into his arms, as we shall see by 
 resuming the sequel of her adventures. 
 
 The Earl of Bristol,* ever restless and ambitious, had put 
 
 * George Digby. The account here given of the practices of this noble- 
 man receives confirmation from Lord Clarendon, who observes of him, 
 "that he had left no way unattempted to render himself gracious to the 
 king, by saying and doing all that might be acceptable unto him, and 
 
.rr^Xuuhck T. 
 
 XDlCiJBTr ]E..M^I. 0)F BlilST^ni. 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 183 
 
 in practice every art, to possess himself of the king's favour. 
 As this is the same Digby whom Count Bussy mentions in his 
 annals, it will be sufficient to say that he was not at all 
 changed : he knew that love and pleasure had possession of a 
 master, whom he himself governed, in defiance of the chancellor; 
 thus he was continually gTOng entertainments at his house ; 
 and luxury and elegance seemed to rival each other in those 
 nocturnal feasts, which always lead to other enjoyments. The 
 two Miss Brooks, his relations, were always of those parties ; 
 they were both formed by nature to excite love in others, as 
 well as to be susceptible of it themselves ; they were just what 
 the king wanted : the earl, from this commencement, was be- 
 ginning to entertain a good opinion of his j)roject, when Lady 
 Castlemaine, who had lately gained entire possession of the 
 king's heart, was not in a humour, at that time, to share it 
 with another, as she did very indiscreetly afterwards, despising 
 Miss Stewart. As soon, therefore, as she received intimation 
 of these secret practices, under pretence of attending the king- 
 in his parties, she entirely disconcerted them; so that the earl 
 was obliged to lay aside his ]3i-ojects, and Miss Brook to dis- 
 continue her advances. The king did not even dare to think 
 
 contriving such meetings and jolHties as he was pleased with." — Con- 
 tinuation of his Life, p. 208. Lord Orford says of him, that " his life 
 was one contradiction. He wrote against popery, and embraced it ; lie 
 was a zealous opposer of the court, and a sacrifice to it ; was conscien- 
 tiously converted in the midst of his prosecution of Lord Strafford, and 
 was most un conscientiously a prosecutor of Lord Clarendon, With 
 great parts, he always hurt himself and liis friends ; with romantic 
 bravery, he was always an unsuccessful commander. He spoke for the 
 Test Act, though a Eoman Catholic, and addicted himself to astrology on 
 the birthday of true ^hiloBO'^h.j J'— Catalogue of Royal and Noble 
 Authors, vol. ii., p. 25. The histories of England abound with the 
 adventures of this inconsistent nobleman, who died, neither loved nor 
 regretted by any party, in the year 167G. 
 
184 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 any more on this subject ; but bis brother was pleased to look 
 after what he neglected ; and Miss Brook accepted the offer of 
 his heart, until it pleased heaven to dispose of her otherwise, 
 which happened soon after in the following manner. 
 
 Sir John Denham,^ loaded with wealth as well as years, had 
 passed his youth in the midst of those pleasures which people 
 at that age indulge in without restraint ; he was one of the 
 brightest geniuses England ever produced, for wit and humour, 
 and for brilliancy of composition: satirical and free in his 
 poems, he spared neither frigid ^vriters, nor jealous husbands, 
 nor even their wives: every part abounded with the most 
 poignant wit, and the most entertaining stories ; but liis most 
 delicate and spirited raillery turned generally against matri- 
 
 *■ That Sir John Deuham " had passed his youth in the midst of those 
 pleasures which people at that age indulge in without restraint," all his 
 biographers seem to admit ; but, if our author is to be relied on, Wood's 
 account of the date of his birth, 1615, must be erroneous. He was not 
 loaded with years when he died, if that statement is true ; and so far 
 from being seventy-nine when he married Miss Brook, he had not at- 
 tained the age of more than fifty- three when he died. In this particular, 
 I am inclined to doubt the accuracy of "Wood, who omits to mention 
 that Sir John had a former wife, by whom he had a daughter. In the 
 year 1667, he appears to have been a lunatic, either real or feigned. 
 Lord Lisle, in a letter to Sir WilUam Temple, dated September 26th, 
 says, " — poor Sir John Denham is fallen to the ladies also. He is at 
 many of the meetings at dinners, talks more than ever he did, and is 
 extremely pleased with those that seem willing to hear him, and, from 
 that obligation, exceedingly praises the Duchess of Monmouth and my 
 Lady Cavendish. If he had not the name of being mad, I believe, in 
 most companies, he would be thought wittier than ever he was. He 
 seems to have few extravagances besides that of telling stories of him- 
 self, which he is always inclined to. Some of his acquaintance say, 
 that extreme vanity was the cause of his madness, as well as it is an 
 effect." — Templets Worlcs, vol. i., p. 484. In Butler's Posthumous Works, 
 vol. ii., p. 155, is an abuse of Sir John Denham, under the title of "a 
 Panegyric upon his recovery from his Madness." Sir John died 19th 
 March, 1668, and was buried in AVestminster-abbey. 
 
MIsSS jBTR'D^iv^ arft.eirw'air^ds XAXrr\)'Ej^IHAM 
 
MEMOIKS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 185 
 
 mony ; and, as if he wished to confirm, by his own example, 
 the truth of what he had written in his youth, he married, at 
 the age of seventy-nine, this Miss Brook of whom we are 
 speaking, who was only eighteen. 
 
 The Duke of York had rather neglected her for some time 
 before ; but the circumstance of so unequal a match rekindled 
 his ardour ; and she, on her part, suffered him to. entertain 
 hopes of an approaching bliss, which a thousand considerations 
 had opposed before her marriage: she wished to belong to the 
 -court ; and for the promise of being made lady of the bed- 
 chamber to the duchess, she was upon the point of making 
 him another promise, or of immediately performing it, if re- 
 quired, when, in the middle of this treaty. Lady Chesterfield 
 was tempted, by her evil genius, to rob her of her conquest, in 
 order to disturb all the world. 
 
 However, as Lady Chesterfield could not see the Duke of 
 York, except in public assemblies, she was under the necessity 
 of making the most extravagant advances, in order to seduce 
 him from his former connection ; and as he was the most un- 
 guarded ogier of his time, the whole court was informed of the 
 intrigue before it was well begun. 
 
 Those who appeared the most attentive to their conduct 
 were not the least interested in it. Hamilton and Lord Ches- 
 terfield watched them narrowly; but Lady Denham, vexed 
 that Lady Chesterfield should have stepped in before her, took 
 the liberty of railing against her rival with the greatest bitter- 
 ness. Hamilton had hitherto flattered himself that vanity 
 alone had engaged Lady Chesterfield in this adventure; but 
 he was soon undeceived, whatever her indifference might have 
 been when she first commenced this intrigue. We often pro- 
 ceed farther than we at first intended, when we indulge 
 ♦ourselves in trifling liberties which we think of no consequence ; 
 
186 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 for thougli perhaps the heart takes no part at the beginning, it 
 seldom fails to be engaged in the end. 
 
 The conrt, as we have mentioned before, was an entire scene 
 of gallantry and amusements, with all the politeness and mag- 
 nificence which the inclinations of a prince naturally addicted 
 to tenderness and pleasure, could suggest : the beauties were 
 desirous of charming, and the men endeavoured to please : all 
 studied to set themselves off to the best advantage: some 
 distinguished themselves by dancing; others by show and 
 magnificence ; some by their wit, many by their amours, but 
 few by their constancy. There was a certain Italian at court, 
 famous for the guitar : he had a genius for music, and he was 
 the only man who could make anything of the guitar : his style 
 of play was so full of grace and tenderness, that he would have 
 given harmony to the most discordant instruments. The truth 
 is, nothing was so difficult as to play like this foreigner. The 
 king's relish for his compositions had brought the instrument 
 so much into vogue, that every person played upon it, well or 
 ill; and you were as sure to see a guitar on a lady's toilet 
 as rouge or patches. The Duke of York played upon it toler- 
 ably well, and the Earl of Arran like Francisco himself This 
 Francisco had composed a saraband, which either charmed or 
 infatuated every person ; for the whole guitarery at court were 
 trying at it; and God knows what an universal strumming 
 there was. The Duke of York, pretending not to be perfect 
 in it, desired Lord Arran to play it to him. Lady Chesterfield 
 had the best guitar in England. The Earl of Arran, who was 
 desirous of playing his best, conducted his Koyal Highness to 
 his sister's apartments : she was lodged at court, at her father's, 
 the Duke of Ormond's ; and this wonderful guitar was lodged 
 there too. Whether this ^dsit had been preconcerted or not, I 
 do not pretend to say ; but it is certain that they found both 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 187 
 
 the lady and the guitar at home : they likewise found there 
 Lord Chesterfield, so much surprised at this unexpected visit,, 
 that it was a considerable time before he thought of rising 
 from his seat to receive them with due respect. 
 
 Jealousy, like a malignant vapour, now seized upon his 
 brain : a thousand suspicions, blacker than ink, took possession 
 of his imagination, and were continually increasing ; for, whilst 
 the brother played upon the guitar to the duke, the sister 
 ogled and accompanied him with her eyes, as if the coast had 
 been clear, and no enemy to observe them. This saraband was 
 at least repeated twenty times: the duke declared it was 
 played to perfection : Lady Chesterfield found fault with the 
 composition ; but her husband, who clearly perceived that he 
 was the person played upon, thought it a most detestable 
 piece. However, though he was in the last agony at being 
 obliged to curb his passion while others gave a free scope to 
 theirs, he was resolved to find out the drift of the visit ; but it 
 was not in his power : for, having the honour to be chamber- 
 lain to the queen, a messenger came to require his immediate 
 attendance on her majesty. His first thought was to pretend 
 sickness : the second to suspect that the queen, who sent for 
 him at such an unseasonable time, was in the plot ; but at last, 
 after all the extravagant ideas of a suspicious man, and all the 
 irresolutions of a jealous husband, he was obliged to go. 
 
 We may easily imagine what his state of mind was when he 
 arrived at the palace. Alarms are to the jealous what disas- 
 ters are to the unfortunate : they seldom come alone, but form 
 a series of j)ersecution. He was informed that he was sent for 
 to attend the queen at an audience she gave to seven or eight 
 Muscovite ambassadors: he had scarce begun to curse the 
 Muscovites, when his brother-in-law appeared, and drew upon 
 himself all the imprecations he bestowed upon the embassy ; 
 
188 MEMOIES OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 lie no longer doubted his being in the plot with the two 
 persons he had left together, and in his heart sincerely wished 
 him such recompense for his good offices as such good offices 
 deserved. It was with great difficulty that he restrained him- 
 jself from immediately acquainting him what was his opinion of 
 such conduct : he tliought that what he had already seen was 
 a sufficient proof of his wife's infidelity ; but before the end 
 of the very same day, some circumstances occurred which 
 increased his suspicions, and persuaded him that they had 
 taken advantage of his absence, and of the honourable officious- 
 ness of his brother-in-law. He passed, however, that night 
 with tranquillity ; but the next morning, being reduced to the 
 necessity either of bursting or giving vent to his sorrows and 
 conjectures, he did nothing but think and walk about the 
 room until Park-time. He went to court, seemed very busy, 
 as if seeking for some person or other, imagining that people 
 guessed at the subject of his uneasiness : he avoided every- 
 body, but at length meeting with Hamilton, he thought 
 he was the very man that he wanted ; and, having desired 
 him to take an airing with him in Hyde Park, he took him up 
 in his coach, and they arrived at the Ring, without a word 
 having passed between them. 
 
 Hamilton, who saw him as yellow as jealousy itself, and 
 particularly thoughtful, imagined that he had just discovered 
 what all the world had perceived long before ; when Chester- 
 field, after a broken, insignificant preamble, asked him how he 
 succeeded with Lady Castlemaine. Hamilton, who very well 
 saw that he meant nothing by this question, nevertheless 
 thanked him ; and as he was thinking of an answer : " Your 
 •cousin/' said the earl, "is extremely coquettish, and I have 
 some reason to suppose she is not so prudent as she ought to 
 be." Hamilton thought tlie last charge a little too severe; 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 189' 
 
 and as lie was endeavouring to refute it : " Good God !" said 
 my lord, " you see, as well as the whole court, what airs she 
 gives herself: husbands are always the last people that are 
 spoken to about those affairs that concern them the most ; but 
 they are not always the last to perceive it themselves : though 
 you have made me your confidant in other matters, yet I am 
 not at all surprised you have concealed this from me ; but as 
 I flatter myself with having some share in your esteem, I 
 should be sorry you should think me such a fool as to be 
 incapable of seeing, though I am so complaisant as not to 
 express my sentiments : nevertheless, I find that affairs are now 
 carried on with such barefaced boldness, that at length I find 
 I shall be forced to take some course or other. God forbid that I 
 should act the ridiculous part of a jealous husband: the character 
 is odious ; but then I do not intend, through an excess of 
 patience, to be made the jest of the town. Judge, therefore, 
 from what I am going to tell you, whether I ought to sit down 
 unconcerned, or whether I ought to take measures for the 
 preservation of my honour. 
 
 " His royal highness honoured me yesterday by a visit to my 
 wife." Hamilton started at this beginning. "Yes," continued the 
 other, " he did give himself that trouble, and Lord Arran took 
 upon himself that of bringing him : do not you wonder, that 
 a man of his birth should act such a part ? What advance- 
 ment can he expect from one who employs him in such base 
 services ? But we have long known him to be one of the 
 silliest creatures in England, with his guitar, and his other 
 whims and follies." Chesterfield, after this short sketch of his 
 brother-in-law's merit, began to relate the observations he had 
 made during the visit, and asked Hamilton what he thought 
 of his cousin Arran, who had so obligingly left them together. 
 " This may appear surprising to you," continued he, " but hear 
 
190 MEMOIKS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 me out, and judge whether I have reason to think that the 
 close of this pretty visit passed in perfect innocence. Lady 
 Chesterfield is amiable, it must be acknowledged ; but she is 
 far from being such a miracle of beauty as she supposes her- 
 seK : you know she has ugly feet ; but perhaps you are not 
 acquainted that she has still worse legs." " Pardon me/' said 
 Hamilton, within himself: and the other continuing the des- 
 cription : " Her legs," said his lordship, " are short and thick ; 
 and, to remedy these defects as much as possible, she seldom 
 wears any other than green stockings." 
 
 Hamilton could not for his life imagine the drift of all this 
 discourse, and Chesterfield, guessing his thoughts : " Have a 
 little patience," said he : "I went yesterday to Miss Stewart's, 
 after the audience of those damned Muscovites : the king 
 arrived there just before me ; and as if the duke had sworn to 
 pursue me wherever I went that day, he came in just after 
 me. The conversation turned upon the extraordinary appear- 
 ance of the ambassadors. I know not where that fool Crofts 
 had heard that all these Muscovites had handsome wives; and 
 that all their wives had handsome legs. Upon this the king 
 maintained that no woman ever had such handsome legs as 
 Miss Stewart ; and she, to prove the truth of his majesty's as- 
 sertion, with the greatest imaginable ease, immediately shewed 
 her leg above the knee. Some were ready to prostrate them- 
 selves, in order to adore its beauty ; for indeed none can be 
 handsomer ; but the duke alone began to criticise upon it. He 
 contended that it was too slender, and that as for himself he 
 would give nothing for a leg that was not thicker and shorter, 
 and concluded by saying that no leg was worth anything 
 without green stockings. Now this, in my opinion, was a 
 sufficient demonstration that he had just seen green stockings, 
 and had them fresh in his remembrance." 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 191 
 
 Hamilton was at a loss what countenance to put on during 
 a narrative which raised in him nearly the same conjectures ; 
 he shrugged up his shoulders, and faintly said that appear- 
 ances were often deceitful; that Lady Chesterfield had the 
 foible of all beauties, who place their merit on the number of 
 their admirers ; and whatever airs she might imprudently have 
 given herself, in order not to discourage his royal highness, 
 there was no ground to suppose that she would indulge him 
 in any greater liberties to engage him : but in vain was it 
 that he endeavoured to give that consolation to his friend 
 which he did not feel himself. Chesterfield plainly perceived 
 he did not think of what he was saying ; however, he thought 
 himself much obliged to him for the interest he seemed 
 to take in his concerns. 
 
 Hamilton was in haste to go home to vent his spleen and 
 resentment in a letter to his cousin. The style of this billet 
 was very different from those which he formerly was accus- 
 tomed to write to her : reproaches, bitter expostulations, ten- 
 derness, menaces, and all the effusions of a lover who thinks 
 he has reason to complain, composed this epistle ; which, for 
 fear of accidents, he went to deliver himseK. 
 
 Never did she before appear so lovely, and never did 
 her eyes speak so kindly to him as at this moment : his heart 
 quite relented ; but he was determined not to lose all the fine 
 things he had said in his letter. In receiving it, she squeezed 
 his hand : this action completely disarmed him, and he would 
 have given his life to have had his letter again. It appeared 
 to him at this instant that all the gTievances he complained 
 of were visionary and groundless : he looked upon her hus- 
 band as a madman and an impostor, and quite the reverse of 
 what he supposed him to be a few minutes before ; but this 
 remorse came a little too late : he had delivered his billet. 
 
192 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 and Lady Chesterfield had shewn such impatience and eager- 
 ness to read it as soon as she had got it that all circumstances 
 seemed to conspire to justify her, and to confound him. She 
 managed to get quit, some way or other, of some troublesome 
 visitors, to slip into her closet. He thought himself so cul- 
 pable that he had not the assurance to wait her return : he 
 withdrew with the rest of the company ; but he did not dare 
 to appear before her the next day, to have an answer to his- 
 letter : however, he met her at court ; and this was the first 
 time, since the commencement of their amour, that he did not 
 seek for her. He stood at a distance, with downcast looks, 
 and appeared in such terrible embarrassment that his condi- 
 tion was sufficient to raise laughter or to cause pity, when 
 Lady Chesterfield approaching, thus accosted liim: "Confess," 
 said she, " that you are in as foolish a situation as any man of 
 sense can be : you wish you had not written to me : you are 
 desirous of an answer : you hope for none : yet you equally 
 wish for and dread it : I have, however, wTitten you one." 
 She had not time to say more ; but the few words she had 
 spoken were accompanied with such an air, and such a look,. 
 as to make him believe that it was Venus with all her graces 
 who had addressed liim. He was near her when she sat down 
 to cards, and as he was puzzling himself to devise by what 
 means he should get tliis answer, she desired liim to lay her 
 gloves and fan down somewhere : he took them, and with 
 them the billet in question ; and as he had perceived nothing, 
 severe or angry in the conversation he had with her, he has- 
 tened to open her letter, and read as follows : 
 
 " Your transports are so ridiculous that it is doing you a 
 favour to attribute them to an excess of tenderness, which 
 turns your head : a man, without doubt, must have a great 
 inclination to be jealous, to entertain such an idea of the per- 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 193 
 
 son you mention. Good God ! what a lover to have caused 
 uneasiness to a man of genius, and what a genius to have got 
 the better of mine ! Are not you ashamed to give any credit 
 to the visions of a jealous fellow who brought nothing else 
 with him from Italy ? Is it possible that the story of the 
 green stockings, upon which he has founded his suspicions, 
 should have imposed upon you, accompanied as it is with such 
 pitiful circumstances ? Since he has made you his confidant, 
 why did not he boast of breaking in pieces my poor harmless 
 guitar ? This exploit, perhaps, might have convinced you 
 more than aU the rest : recollect yourself, and if you are really 
 in love with me, thank fortune for a groundless jealousy, 
 which diverts to another quarter the attention he might pay 
 to my attachment for the most amiable and the most danger- 
 ous man of the court." 
 
 Hamilton was ready to weep for joy at these endearing 
 marks of kindness, of which he thought himself so unworthy : 
 he was not satisfied with kissing, in raptures, every part of 
 this billet ; he also kissed several times her gloves and her 
 fan. Play being over. Lady Chesterfield received them from 
 his hands, and read in his eyes the joy that her billet had 
 raised in his heart. ISTor was he satisfied with expressing 
 his raptures, only by looks : he hastened home, and wrote to 
 her at least four times as much. How different was this 
 letter from the other ! Though perhaps not so well written ; 
 for one does not show so much wit in suing for pardon, as in 
 venting reproaches, and it seldom happens that the soft lan- 
 guishing style of a love-letter is so penetrating as that of 
 invective. 
 
 Be that as it may, his peace was made : their past quarrel 
 gave new life to their correspondence ; and Lady Chesterfield, 
 to make him^ as easy as he had before been distrustful, ex- 
 
 13 
 
194 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 pressed on every occasion a feigned contempt for his rival, 
 and a sincere aversion for her husband. 
 
 So great was his confidence in her, that he consented she 
 should show in public some marks of attention to the duke, 
 in order to conceal as much as possible their private inteUi- 
 gence. Thus, at this time nothing disturbed his peace of 
 mind, but his impatience of finding a favourable opportunity 
 for the completion of his desires : he thought it was in her 
 power to command it ; but she excused herself on account of 
 several difficulties which she enumerated to him, and which 
 she was desirous he should remove by his industry and 
 attentions. 
 
 This silenced his complaints ; but whilst he was endeavour- 
 ing to surmount these obstacles, still wondering how it was 
 possible that two persons who were so well disposed to each 
 other, and who were agreed to make each other happy, could 
 not put their designs in execution, accident discovered an un- 
 expected adventure, which left him no room to doubt, either 
 of the happiness of his rival, or of the perfidy of his mistress. 
 
 Misfortunes often fall light when most feared; and frequently 
 prove heaviest when merited, and when least suspected. 
 Hamilton was in the middle of the most tender and pas- 
 sionate letter he had ever written to Lady Chesterfield, when 
 her husband came to announce to him the particulars of this 
 last discovery : he came so suddenly upon him., that he had 
 only just time to conceal his amorous epistle among his other 
 papers. His heart and mind were still so full of what he was 
 writing to his cousin, that her husband's complaints against 
 her, at first, were scarce attended to ; besides, in his opinion, he 
 had come in the most unfortunate moment on all accounts. 
 
 He was, however, obliged to listen to him, and he soon 
 entertained quite different sentiments : he appeared almost 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 195 
 
 petrified with astonishment, while the earl was relating to 
 him circumstances of such an extravagant indiscretion, as 
 seemed to him quite incredible, notwithstanding the par- 
 ticulars of the fact. " You have reason to be surprised at it," 
 said my lord, concluding his story ; " but if you doubt the truth 
 of what I tell you, it will be easy for you to find evidence that 
 will convince you ; for the scene of their tender familiarities 
 was no less public than the room where the queen plays at 
 cards, which, while her majesty was at play, was, God knows, 
 pretty well crowded. Lady Denham was the first who dis- 
 covered what they thought would pass unperceived in the crowd; 
 and you may very well judge how secret she would keep such 
 a circumstance. The truth is, she addressed herself to me 
 first of all, as I entered the room, to tell me that I should give 
 my wife a little advice, as other people might take notice of 
 what I might see myself, if I pleased. 
 
 " Your cousin was at play, as I before told you : the duke 
 was sitting next to her : I know not what was become of his 
 hand ; but I am sure that no one could see his arm below the 
 elbow : I was standing behind them, just in the place that 
 Lady Denham had quitted : the duke turning round perceived 
 me, and was so much disturbed at my presence, that he 
 almost undressed my lady in pulling away his hand. I know 
 not whether they perceived that they were discovered ; but of 
 this I am convinced, that Lady Denham will take care that 
 everybody shall know it. I must confess to you, that my 
 embarrassment is so great, that I cannot find words to ex- 
 press what I now feel : I should not hesitate one moment 
 what course to take, if I might be allowed to show my re- 
 sentment against the person who has wronged me. As for her, 
 I could manage her well enough, if, unworthy as she is of 
 any consideration, I had not still some regard for an illus- 
 
 13—2 
 
196 MEMOIES OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 trious family, that would be distracted were I to resent such 
 an injury as it deserves. In this particular you are inte- 
 rested yourself: you are my friend, and I make you my 
 confidant in an affair of the greatest imaginable delicacy : let 
 us then consult together what is proper to be done in so per- 
 plexing and disagreeable a situation." 
 
 Hamilton, if possible, more astonished, and more con- 
 founded than himself, was far from being in a proper state 
 to afford him advice on the present occasion : he listened to 
 nothing but jealousy, and breathed nothing but revenge ; but 
 these emotions being somewhat abated, in hopes that there 
 might be calumny, or at least exaggeration in the charges 
 against Lady Chesterfield, he desired her husband to suspend 
 his resolutions, until he was more fully informed of the fact ; 
 assuring him, however, that if he found the circumstances 
 such as he had related, he should regard and consult no other 
 interest than his. 
 
 Upon this they parted ; and Hamilton found, on the first 
 inquiry, that almost the whole court was informed of the 
 adventure, to which every one added something in relating 
 it. Vexation and resentment inflamed his heart, and by 
 degrees extinguished every remnant of his former passion. 
 
 He might easily have seen her, and have made her such 
 reproaches as a man is generally inclined to do on such occa- 
 sions ; but he was too much enraged to enter into any detail 
 which might have led to an explanation : he considered him- 
 self as the only person essentially injured in this affair ; for 
 he could never bring his mind to think that the injuries of 
 the husband could be placed in competition with those of the 
 lover. 
 
 He hastened to Lord Chesterfield, in the transport of his 
 passion, and told him that he had heard enough to induce 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GEAMMONT. 197 
 
 him to give such advice, as he should follow liimself in the 
 same situation, and that if he wished to save a woman so 
 strongly prepossessed, and who perhaps had not yet lost all 
 her innocence, though she had totally lost her reason, he ought 
 not to delay one single instant, l3ut immediately to carry her 
 into the country with the greatest possible expedition, without 
 allowing her the least time to recover her surprise. 
 
 Lord Chesterfield readily agreed to follow this advice, which 
 he had already considered as the only counsel a friend could 
 give him ; but his lady who did not suspect he had made this 
 last discovery of her conduct, thought he was joking with her, 
 when he told her to prepare for going into the country in two 
 days : she was the more induced to think so as it was in the 
 very middle of an extremely severe winter ; but she soon per- 
 ceived that he was in earnest: she knew from the air and 
 manner of her husband that he thought he had sufficient 
 reason to treat her in this imperious style ; and finding all her 
 relations serious and cold to her complaint, she had no hope 
 left in this universally abandoned situation but in the tender- 
 ness of Hamilton. She imagined she should hear from him 
 the cause of her misfortimes, of which she was still totally igno- 
 rant, and that his love would invent some means or other to 
 prevent a journey, which she flattered herself would be even 
 more affecting to him than to herself; but she was expecting 
 pity from a crocodile. 
 
 At last, when she saw the eve of her departure was come, 
 that every preparation was made for a long journey ; that she 
 was receiving farewell visits in form, and that still she heard 
 nothing from Hamilton, both her hopes and her patience for- 
 sook her in this wretched situation. A few tears perhaps 
 might have afforded her some relief, but she chose rather to 
 deny herself that comfort, than to give her husband so much 
 
198 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 satisfaction. Hamilton's conduct on tliis occasion appeared 
 to lier unaccountable ; and as lie still never came near lier, 
 she found means to convey to liim the following billet, 
 
 " Is it possible that you should be one of those, who, without 
 vouchsafing to tell me for what crime I am treated like a 
 slave, suffer me to be dragged from society ? Wliat means 
 your silence and indolence in a juncture wherein your tendei- 
 ness ought most particularly to appear, and actively exert itself ? 
 I am upon the point of departing, and am ashamed to tliink 
 that you are the cause of my looking upon it with horror, as 
 I have reason to believe that you are less concerned at it than 
 any other person : do, at least, let me know to what place I 
 am to be dragged ; what is to be done with me witliin a wH- 
 demess ? and on what account you, like all the rest of the 
 world, appear changed in your behaviour towards a person 
 whom all the world could not oblige to change with regard to 
 you, if your weakness or your ingratitude did not render you 
 unworthy of her tenderness." 
 
 This billet did but harden his heart, and make him more 
 proud of his vengeance : he swallowed down full draughts of 
 pleasure in beholding her reduced to despair, being persuaded 
 that her grief and regret for her departure were on account of 
 another person: he felt uncommon satisfaction in having a 
 share in tormenting her, and was particularly pleased with 
 the scheme he had contrived to separate her from a rival, 
 upon the very point perhaps of being made happy. Thus 
 fortified as he was against his natural tenderness, with all the 
 severity of jealous resentment, he saw her depart with an in- 
 difference which he did not even endeavour to conceal from 
 her : this unexpected treatment, joined to the complication of 
 her other misfortunes, had almost in reality plunged her into 
 despair. 
 
MEMOIES OF COUNT GEAMMONT. 199 
 
 The court was filled with the story of this adventure ; 
 nobody was ignorant of the occasion of this sudden departure, 
 hut very few approved of Lord Chesterfield's conduct. In 
 England they looked with astonishment upon a man who 
 could be so uncivil as to be jealous of his wife ; and in the 
 city of London it was a prodigy, till that time unknown, to 
 see a husband have recourse to violent means, to prevent 
 what jealousy fears, and what it always deserves. They en- 
 deavoured, however, to excuse poor Lord Chesterfield, as far 
 as they could safely do it, without incurring the public odium, 
 by laying all the blame on his bad education. This made all 
 the mothers vow to God that none of their sons should ever 
 set a foot in Italy, lest they should bring back with them 
 that infamous custom of laying restraint upon their wives. 
 
 As this story for a long time took up the attention of the 
 court, the Chevalier de Grammont, who was not thoroughly 
 acquainted with all the particulars, inveighed more bitterly 
 than all the citizens of London put together against this 
 tyranny; and it was upon this occasion that he produced 
 new words to that fatal saraband wliich had unfortunately so 
 great a share in the adventure. The Chevalier passed for the 
 author ; but if Saint Evremond had any part in the composi- 
 tion, it certainly was greatly inferior to his other performances, 
 as the reader will see in the following chapter. 
 
200 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 Every man who believes that his honour depends upon that 
 of his wife is a fool who torments himself, and drives her to 
 despair; but he who, being naturally jealous, has the ad- 
 ditional misfortune of loving his wife, and who expects that 
 she should only live for him, is a perfect madman, whom the 
 torments of hell have actually taken hold of in this world, 
 and whom nobody pities. All reasoning and observation on 
 these unfortunate circumstances attending wedlock concur in 
 this, that precaution is vain and useless before the evil, and 
 revenge odious afterwards. 
 
 The Spaniards, who tyrannize over their^ wives, more by 
 custom than from jealousj^, content themselves with preserving 
 the niceness of their honour by duennas, grates, and locks. 
 The Italians, who are wary in their suspicions, and vindictive 
 in their resentments, pursue a different line of conduct : some 
 satisfy themselves with keeping their wives under locks which 
 they think secure : others by ingenious precautions exceed 
 whatever the Spaniards can invent for confining the fair sex ; 
 but the generality are of opinion, that in either unavoidable 
 danger or in manifest transgression, the surest way is to assas- 
 sinate. 
 
 But, ye courteous and indulgent nations, who, far from ad- 
 
o.F jii o c ill E t^ 'irs K 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GEAMMONT. 201 
 
 mitting these savage and barbarous customs, give full liberty 
 to your dear ribs, and commit the care of their virtue to their 
 own discretion, you pass without alarms or strife your peace- 
 ful days, in all the enjoyments of domestic indolence ! 
 
 It was certainly some evil genius that induced Lord Ches- 
 terfield to distinguish himself from his patient and good- 
 natured countrymen, and ridiculously to afford the world an 
 opportunity of examining into the particulars of an adventure 
 which would perhaps never have been known without the 
 verge of the court, and which would everywhere have been 
 forgotten in less than a month ; but now, as soon as ever 
 he had turned his back, in order to march away with his 
 prisoner, and the ornaments she was supposed to have be- 
 stowed upon him, God only knows what a terrible attack 
 there was made upon his rear: Eochester,^ Middlesex,t Sed- 
 ley,J Etheredge,§ and all the whole band of wits, exposed 
 
 * John Wilmot, Earl of Eochester ; " a man,'' as Lord Orford ob- 
 serves, " whom the Muses were fond to inspire, and ashamed to avow ; 
 ^nd who practised, without the least reserve, that secret which can 
 make verses more read for their defects than for their merits ;" — Noble 
 Authors, vol. ii., p. 43 ; — ^was born, according to Burnet and Wood, in 
 the month of April, 1648 ; but Gadbury, in his almanack for 1695, 
 fixes the date on April 1, 1647, from the information of Lord Eoches- 
 ter himself. His father was Henry, Earl of Eochester, better known 
 by the title of Lord Wilmot. He was educated at Wadham College, 
 Oxford, and, in 1665, went to sea with the Earl of Sandwich, and dis- 
 played a degree of valour which he never showed at any period after- 
 wards. Bishop Burnet says, he " was naturally modest, till the court 
 corrupted him. His wit had in it a peculiar brightness, to which none 
 could ever arrive . He gave himself up to all sorts of extravagance, 
 and to the wildest frolics that a wanton wit could devise. He would 
 have gone about the streets as a beggar, and made love as a porter. 
 He set up a stage as an Italian mountebank. He was for some years 
 always dnmk ; and was ever doing some mischief. The king loved his 
 company, for the diversion it afforded, better than his person ; and 
 there was no love lost between them. He took his revenges in many 
 
202 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 him in numberless ballads, and diverted the public at his 
 expense. 
 
 libels. He found out a footmen that knew all tlie court ; and he fur- 
 nished him with a red coat and a musquet, as a sentinel, and kept him 
 all the winter long, every night, at the doors of such ladies as he be- 
 lieved might be in intrigues. In the court, a sentinel is little minded^ 
 and is believed to be posted by a captain of the guards to hinder a 
 combat ; so this man saw who walked about and visited at forbidden 
 hours. By this means Lord Rochester made many discoveries ; and 
 when he was well furnished with materials, he used to retire into the 
 country, for a month or two, to write libels. Once, being drunk, he 
 intended to give the king a libel that he had written on some ladies ; 
 but, by a mistake, he gave him one written on himself. He fell into 
 an ill habit of body, and, in set fits of sickness, he had deep remorses ; 
 for he was guilty both of much impiety and of great immoralities. 
 But as he recovered, he threw these ofi", and turned again to his for- 
 mer ill courses. In the last year of his life, I was much with him, and 
 have written a book of what passed between him and me : I do verily 
 believe, he was then so changed, that, if he had recovered, he would 
 have made good all his resolutions." — History of his own Times, vol. 
 i. p. 372. On this book, mentioned by the bishop. Dr. Johnson pro- 
 nounces the following eulogium : — that it is one " which the critic 
 ought to read for its elegance, the philosopher for its arguments, and 
 the saint for its piety. It were an injury to the reader to offer him an 
 abridgement."— X^/e of Rochester. Lord Eochester died July 26, 1680. 
 t At this time the Earl of Middlesex was Lionel, who died in 1674. 
 The person intended by our author was, Charles, then Lord Buckhurst, 
 afterwards Earl of Middlesex, and, lastly, Duke of Dorset. He was 
 born January 24th, 1637. Bishop Burnet says, he " was a generous, 
 good-natured man. He was so oppressed with phlegm, that, till he 
 was a little heated with wine, he scarce ever spoke ; but he was, upon 
 that exaltation, a very lively man. Never was so much ill-nature in a 
 pen as in his, joined with so much good-nature as was in himself, even 
 to excess ; for he was against all punishing, even of malefactors. He 
 was bountiful, even to run himself into difficulties, and charitable to a 
 fault ; for he commonly gave all he had about him when he met an 
 object that moved him. But he was so lazy, that, though the king- 
 seemed to court him to be a favourite, he would not give himself the 
 trouble that belonged to that post. He hated the court, and despised 
 
M.Jcriven. X 
 
 IC-AitAX, ():K 1) n3<.^iK.nr, 
 
 :i 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRMIMONT. 20^ 
 
 The Chevalier de Grammont was highly pleased with these 
 lively and humorous compositions ; and wherever tliis subject 
 was mentioned, never failed to produce his supplement upon 
 the occasion : "It is strange," said he, " that the country, which 
 is little better than a gallows or a grave for young people, is 
 allotted in this land only for the unfortunate, and not for the 
 guilty I poor Lady Chesterfield, for some unguarded looks, is 
 
 the king, when he saw he was neither generous nor tender-hearted." — 
 History of his ovm Times, vol. i., p. 370. Lord Orford says of him, 
 that "he was the finest gentleman of the voliiptiious court of Charles 
 the Second, and in the gloomy one of King William. He had as much 
 wit' as his first master, or his contemporaries, Buckingham and Roches- 
 ter, without the royal want of feeling, the duke's want of principles, 
 or the earl's want of thought. The latter said, with astonishment, ' that 
 he did not know how it was, but Loi'd Dorset might do anything, and 
 yet was never to blame.' It was not that he was free from the failings 
 of humanity, but he had the tenderness of it too, which made every- 
 body excuse whom everybody loved ; for even the asperity of his verses 
 seems to have been forgiven to 
 
 The best good man, with' the worst-natured muse." 
 
 Noble Authors, vol. ii., p. 96. Lord Dorset died January 19, 1705-6. 
 
 % Sir Charles Sedley was born about the year 1639, and was educated 
 at Wadham College, Oxford. He ran into all the excesses of the times 
 in which he lived. Burnet says, " Sedley had a more sudden and coj)ious 
 wit, which furnished a perpetual run of discourse ; but he was not so 
 correct as Lord Dorset, nor so sparkling as Lord Rochester." — History 
 of his Own Times, vol. i., p. 372. He afterwards took a more serious 
 turn, and was active against the reigning family at the Revolution ; to 
 which he was probably urged by the dishonour brought upon his 
 daughter, created Countess of Dorchester by King James II. Lord 
 Rochester's lines on his powers of seduction are well known. He died 
 20th August, 1701. 
 
 § Sir George Etheridge, author of three comedies, was born about 
 the year 1636. He was, in James the Second's reign, employed abroad f 
 first as envoy to Hamburgh, and afterwards as minister at Eatisbon,. 
 where he died, about the time of the Revolution, 
 
204: MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 immediately seized upon by an angry husband, who will oblige 
 her to spend her Christmas at a comitry-honse, a hundred and 
 fifty miles from London; while here there are a thousand 
 ladies who are left at liberty to do whatever they please, and 
 who indulge in that liberty, andwhose conduct, in short, deserves 
 a daily bastinado. I name no person, God forbid I should ; 
 but Lady Middleton, Lady Denham, the queen's and the 
 duchess's maids of honour, and a hundred others, bestow their 
 favours to the right and to the left, and not the least notice is 
 taken of their conduct. As for Lady Shrewsbury, she is con- 
 spicuous. I would take a wager she might have a man killed 
 for her every day, and she would only hold her head the higher 
 for it : one would suppose she imported from Eome plenary 
 indulgences for her conduct : there are three or four gentlemen 
 who wear an ounce of her hair made into bracelets, and no 
 person finds any fault ; and yet shall such a cross-grained fool 
 as Chesterfield be permitted to exercise an act of tyranny, al- 
 together unknown in this country, upon the prettiest woman 
 in England, and all for a mere trifle : but I am his humble 
 servant ; his precautions will avail him nothing ; on the con- 
 trary, very often a woman, who had no bad intentions when 
 she was suffered to remain in tranquillity, is prompted to such 
 conduct by revenge, or reduced to it by necessity : this is as 
 true as the gospel : hear now what Francisco's saraband says 
 on the subject : 
 
 " Tell me, jealous-pated swain, 
 
 What avail thy idle arts, 
 
 To divide united hearts ? 
 
 Love, like the wind, I trow. 
 
 Will, where it listeth, blow ; 
 So, prithee, peace, for all thy cares are vain. 
 
siTi tz^t;,e]r ilei.t 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT, 205 
 
 " When you are by, 
 Nor wisMul look, be sure, nor eloquent sigh, 
 Shall dare those inward fires discover, 
 Which burn in either lover : 
 Yet Argus' self, if Argus were thy spy. 
 Should ne'er, with all his mob of eyes, 
 Surprise. 
 
 "Some joys forbidden, 
 Transports hidden, 
 Which love, through dark and secret ways. 
 Mysterious love, to kindred souls conveys." 
 
 The Clievalier de Grammont passed for the author of this 
 sonnet : neither the justness of the sentiment, nor turn of it, 
 are surprisingly beautiful ; but as it contained some truths that 
 flattered the genius of the nation, and pleased those who in- 
 terested themselves for the fair sex, the ladies were all desirous 
 of having it to teach their children. 
 
 During all this time the Duke of York, not being in the 
 way of seeing Lady Chesterfield, easily forgot her : her absence, 
 however, had some circumstances attending it which could not 
 but sensibly affect the person who had occasioned her confine- 
 ment ; but there are certain fortunate tempers to which every 
 situation is easy ; they feel neither disappointment with ]:)it- 
 terness, nor pleasure with acuteness. In the mean time, as the 
 duke could not remain idle, he had no sooner forgotten Lady 
 Chesterfield, but he began to think of her whom he had been 
 in love with before, and was upon the point of relapsing into 
 his old passion for Miss Hamilton. 
 
 There was in London a celebrated portrait-painter called 
 Lely,* who had gTeatly improved himself by stud}dng the 
 
 * Sir Peter Lely was born at Soest, in Westphalia, 1617, and came to 
 England in 1641. Lord Orford observes, " If Vandyke's portraits are 
 often tame and spiritless, at least they are natural: his laboured draperies 
 
206 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 famous Vandyke's pictures, whicli were dispersed all over 
 England in abundance. Lely imitated Vandyke's manner, 
 and approached the nearest to him of all the moderns. The 
 Duchess of York, being desirous of having the portraits of the 
 handsomest persons at court, Lely painted them, and employed 
 all his skill in the performance ; nor could he ever exert him- 
 self upon more beautiful subjects. Every picture appeared a 
 master-piece ; and that of Miss Hamilton appeared the highest 
 finished: Lely himself acknowledged that he had drawn it 
 with a particular pleasure. The Duke of York took a delight 
 in looking at it, and began again to ogle the original : he had 
 very little reason to hope for success ; and at the same time 
 that his hopeless passion alarmed the Chevalier de Grammont, 
 Lady Denham thought proper to renew the negotiation which 
 had so unluckily been interrupted: it was soon brought to a 
 conclusion ; for where both parties are sincere in a negotiation, 
 no time is lost in cavilling. Everything succeeded prosper- 
 
 ilow witli ease, and not a fold but is placed with propriety. Lely supplied 
 the want of taste with clinquant : his nymphs trail fringes and em- 
 broidery through meadows and purling streams. Add, that Vandyke's 
 habits are those of the times ; Lely's a sort of fantastic night-gowns, 
 fastened with a single pin. The latter was, in truth, the ladies' painter; 
 and whether the age was improved in beauty or in flattery, Lely's 
 women are certainly much handsomer than those of Vandyke. They 
 please as much more as they evidently meant to please. He caught 
 the reigning character, and 
 
 « QJ2 the animated canvas stole 
 
 The sleepy eye, that spoke the melting soul.' 
 
 I do not know whether, even in softness of the flesh, he did not excel 
 his predecessor. The beauties at Windsor are the court of Paphos, and 
 ought to be engraved for the memoirs of its charming biographer. Count 
 Hamilton." — Anecdotes of Painting, vol. iii., p. 27. Sir Peter Lely died 
 1680, and was buried in St. Paul's, Covent Garden. 
 
,rir^dJVim3yck I. 
 
 ^iim AJTT]iii;i])^ir "^.Ar^ioirrE: 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 207 
 
 'Ously on one side ; yet, I know not what fatality obstructed 
 the pretensions of the other. The duke was very urgent with 
 the duchess to put Lady Denham in possession of the place 
 which was the object of her ambition ; but as she was not 
 guarantee for the performance of the secret articles of the 
 treaty, though till this time she had borne with patience the 
 inconstancy of the duke, and yielded submissively to his 
 desires ; yet, in the present instance, it appeared hard and dis- 
 honourable to her, to entertain ^near her person, a rival, who 
 would expose her to the danger of acting but a second part in 
 the midst of her own court. However, she saw herself upon 
 the point of being forced to it by authority, when a far more 
 unfortunate obstacle for ever bereft poor Lady Denham of the 
 hopes of possessing that fatal place, which she had solicited 
 with such eagerness. 
 
 Old Denham, naturally jealous, became more and more sus- 
 picious, and found that he had sufficient ground for such con- 
 duct : his wife was young and handsome, he old and disagree- 
 able : what reason then had he to flatter himself that Heaven 
 would exempt him from the fate of husbands in the like cir- 
 cumstances ? This he was continually saying to himself ; but 
 when compliments were poured in upon him from all sides, 
 upon the place his lady was going to have near the duchess's 
 person, he formed ideas of what was sufficient to have made 
 him hang himself, if he had possessed the resolution. The 
 traitor chose rather to exercise his courage against another. 
 He wanted precedents for putting in practice his resentments 
 in a privileged country : that of Lord Chesterfield was not suf- 
 ficiently bitter for the revenge he meditated : besides, he had 
 no country-house to which he could carry his unfortunate wife. 
 This being the case, the old villain made her travel a much 
 longer journey without stirring out of London. Merciless fate 
 
208 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 robbed her of life,* and of her dearest hopes, in the bloom of 
 youth. 
 
 As no person entertained any doubt of his having poisoned 
 her, the populace of his neighbourhood had a design of tear- 
 ing him in pieces," as soon as he should come abroad ; but he 
 shut himself up to bewail her death, until their fury was ap- 
 peased by a magnificent funeral, at which he distributed four 
 times more burnt wine than had ever been drunk at any burial 
 in England. 
 
 While the town was in fear of some great disaster, as an 
 expiation for these fatal effects of jealousy, Hamilton was not 
 altogether so easy as he flattered himself he should be after 
 the departure of Lady Chesterfield : he had only consulted the 
 dictates of revenge in what he had done. His vengeance was 
 satisfied ; but such was far from being the case with his love ; 
 and having, since the absence of her he still admired, notwith- 
 standing his resentments, leisure to make those reflections 
 which a recent injury will not permit a man to attend to r 
 " And wherefore," said he to himself, " was I so eager to make 
 her miserable, who alone, however culpable she may be, has it 
 in her power to make me happy ? Cursed jealousy !" con- 
 tinued he, " yet more cruel to those who torment than to those 
 who are tormented ! What have I gained by having blasted 
 the hopes of a more happy rival, since I was not able to per- 
 form this without depriving myself, at the same time, of her 
 upon whom the whole happiness and comfort of my life was 
 centred." 
 
 Thus, clearly proving to himself, by a great many reasonings 
 
 * The lampoons of the day, some of which are to be found in Andrew 
 Marvell's Works, more than insinuate that she was deprived of life by a 
 mixture Infused into some chocolate. The slander of the times imputed 
 her death to the jealousy of the Duchess of York. 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 209 
 
 of the same kind, and all out of season, that in such an en- 
 gagement it was much better to partake with another than to 
 have nothing at all, he filled his mind with a number of vain 
 regrets and unprofitable remorse, when he received a letter 
 from her who occasioned them, but a letter so exactly adapted 
 to increase them, that, after he had read it, he looked upon 
 himself as the greatest scoundrel in the world. Here it fol- 
 lows : 
 
 " You will, no doubt, be as much surprised at this letter as 
 I was at the unconcerned air with which you beheld my de- 
 parture. I am led to believe that you had imagined reasons 
 which, in your own mind, justified such unseasonable conduct. 
 If you are still under the impression of such barbarous senti- 
 ments it will afford you pleasure to be made acquainted with 
 what I suffer in the most horrible of prisons. Whatever the 
 country affords most melancholy in this season presents itself 
 to my view on all sides : surrounded by impassable roads, 
 out of one window I see nothing but rocks, out of another 
 nothing but precipices ; but wherever I turn my eyes within 
 doors I meet those of a jealous husband, still more insupport- 
 able than the sad objects that encompass me. I should add 
 to the misfortunes of my life that of seeming criminal in the 
 eyes of a ma^ who ought to have justified me, even against 
 convincing appearances, if by my avowed innocence I had a 
 right to complain or to expostulate : but how is it possible for 
 me to justify myself at such a distance ; and how can I flat- 
 ter myseK that the description of a most dreadful prison will 
 not prevent you from believing me ? But do you deserve 
 that I should wish you did ? Heavens ! how I must hate 
 you, if I did not love you to distraction. Come, therefore, 
 and let me once again see you, that you may hear my justifi- 
 cation ; and I am convinced that if after this visit you find me 
 
 14 
 
210 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 guilty it will not be with respect to yourself. Our Argus sets 
 out to-morrow for Chester, where a law-suit will detain him a 
 week. I know not whether he will gain it ; but I am sure it 
 will be entirely your fault if he does not lose one, for which 
 he is at least as anxious as that he is now goino; after." 
 
 This letter was sufficient to make a man run blindfold into 
 an adventure still more rash than that which was proposed to 
 him, and that was rash enough in all respects : he could not 
 perceive by what means she could justify herself; but as she 
 assured him he should be satisfied with his journey, this was 
 all he desired at present. 
 
 There was one of his relatians with Lady Chesterfield, who, 
 having accompanied her in her exile, had gained some share 
 in their mutual confidence ; and it was through her means he 
 received this letter, with all the necessary instructions about 
 his journey and his arrival. Secrecy being the soul of such 
 expeditions, especially before an amour is accomplished, he 
 took ]Dost, and set out in the night, animated by the most 
 tender and flattering wishes, so that, in less than no time 
 almost, in comparison with the distance and the badness of 
 the roads, he had travelled a hundred and fifty tedious miles : 
 at the last stage he prudently dismissed the post-boy. It was 
 not yet daylight, and therefore, for fear of the rocks and pre- 
 cipices mentioned in her letter, he proceeded with tolerable 
 discretion, considering he was in love. 
 
 By this means he fortunately escaped all the dangerous 
 places, and, according to his instructions, alighted at a little 
 hut adjoining to the park wall. The place was not magnifi- 
 cent; but, as he only wanted rest, it did well enough for that: 
 he did not wish for daylight, and was even still less desirous 
 of being seen ; wherefore, having shut himself up in this ob- 
 scure retreat, he fell into a profound sleep, and did not wake . 
 
 i 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 211 
 
 until noon. As he was particularly hungry when he awoke, 
 he ate and drank heartily : and, as he was the neatest man at 
 court, and was expected by the neatest lady in England, he 
 spent the remainder of the day in dressing himself, and in 
 making all those prejDarations which the time and place per- 
 mitted, without deigning once to look around him, or to ask 
 his landlord a single question. At last the orders he expected 
 with gTeat impatience were brought him, in the beginning of 
 the evening, by a servant, who, attending him as a guide, after 
 having led him for about half an hour in the dirt, through a 
 park of vast extent, brought him at last into a garden, into 
 which a little door opened : he was posted exactly opposite to 
 this door, by which, in a short time, he was to be introduced 
 to a more agreeable situation ; and here his conductor left 
 him. The night advanced, but the door never opened. 
 
 Though the winter was almost over, the cold weather seemed 
 only to be beginning : he was dirtied up to his knees in mud, 
 and soon perceived that if he continued much longer in this 
 garden it would all be frozen. This beginning of a very dark 
 and bitter night would have been unbearable to any other ; 
 but it was nothing to a man who flattered himself to pass the 
 remainder of it in the height of bliss. However, he began to 
 wonder at so many precautions in the absence of a husband : 
 his imagination, by a thousand delicious and tender ideas, 
 supported him some time against the torments of impatience 
 and the inclemency of the weather ; but he felt his imagina- 
 tion, notwithstanding, cooling by degrees; and two hours, 
 which seemed to him as tedious as two whole ages, having 
 passed, and not the least notice being taken of him, either 
 from the door or from the window, he began to reason with 
 himself upon the posture of his affairs, and what was the fit- 
 test conduct for him to pursue in this emergency : " What if 
 
 14—2 
 
212 MEMOIES OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 I should rap at this cursed door," said he ; " for if my fate re- 
 quires that I should perish, it is at least more honourable to 
 die in the house than to be starved to death in the garden : 
 but then," continued he, " I may, thereby, perhaps, expose a 
 person whom some unforeseen accident may, at this very in- 
 stant, have reduced to greater perplexity than even I myself 
 am in." This thought supplied him with a necessary degTee 
 of patience and fortitude against the enemies he had to con- 
 tend with ; he therefore began to walk quickly to and fro, 
 with resolution to wait, as long as he could keep alive, the 
 end of an adventure which had such an uncomfortable begin- 
 ning. All this was to no purpose ; for though he used every 
 effort to keep himself warm, and though muffled up in a thick 
 cloak, yet he began to be benumbed in all his limbs, and the 
 cold gained the ascendancy over all his amorous vivacity and 
 eagerness. Daybreak was not far off", and judging now that, 
 though the accursed door should even be opened, it would be 
 to no purpose, he returned, as well as he could, to the place 
 from whence he had set out upon this wonderful expedition. 
 
 All the faggots that were in the cottage were hardly able to 
 unfreeze him : the more he reflected on his adventure, the 
 circumstances attending it appeared still the more strange and 
 unaccountable ; but so far from accusing the charming coun- 
 tess, he suffered a thousand different anxieties on her account. 
 ■Sometimes he imagined that her husband might have returned 
 unexpectedly ; sometimes, that she might suddenly have been 
 taken ill; in short, that some insuperable obstacle had unlucldly 
 interposed, and prevented his happiness, notwithstanding his 
 mistress's kind intentions towards him. " But wherefore/' said 
 he, " did she forget me in that cursed garden ? Is it possible 
 that she could not find a single moment to make me at least 
 some sign or other, if she could neither speak to me nor give 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT, 213 
 
 me admittance V He knew not which of these conjectures to 
 rely upon, or how to answer his own questions ; but as he flat- 
 tered himself that everything would succeed better the next 
 night, after having vowed not to set a foot again into that 
 unfortunate garden, he gave orders to be awakened as soon as 
 any person should inquire for him : then he laid himself down 
 in one of the worst beds in the world, and slept as sound as 
 if he had been in the best : he supposed that he should not be 
 awakened, but either by a letter or a message from Lady Ches- 
 terfield ; but he had scarce slept two hours when he was roused 
 by the sound of the horn and the cry of the hounds. The hut 
 which afforded him a retreat, joining, as we before said, to the 
 park wall, he called his host, to know what was the occasion 
 of that hunting, which made a noise as if the whole pack of 
 hounds had been in his bed-chamber. He was told that it was 
 my lord hunting a hare in his park. " What lord ?" said he, 
 in great surprise. " The Earl of Chesterfield," replied the pea- 
 sant. He was so astonished at this that at first he hid his 
 head under the bed-clothes, under the idea that he already 
 saw him entering with all his hounds ; but as soon as he had 
 a little recovered himself he began to curse capricious for- 
 tune, no longer doubting but this jealous fool's return had 
 occasioned all his tribulations in the preceding night. 
 
 It was not possible for him to sleep again, after such an 
 alarm ; he therefore got up, that he might revolve in his mind 
 all the stratagems that are usually employed either to deceive, 
 or to remove out of the way, a jealous scoundrel of a husband, 
 who thought fit to neglect his law-suit in order to plague his 
 wife. He had just finished dressing himself, and was begin- 
 ning to question his landlord, when the same servant who had 
 conducted him to the garden delivered him a letter, and disap- 
 peared, without waiting for an answer. This letter was from 
 his relation, and was to this effect : 
 
214 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 " I am extremely sorry that I have innocently been acces- 
 sary to bringing yon to a place, to which you were only in- 
 vited to be laughed at : I opposed this journey at first, though 
 I was then persuaded it was wholly suggested by her tender- 
 ness ; but she has now undeceived me : she triumphs in the 
 trick she has played you : her husband has not stirred from 
 hence, but stays at home, out of complaisance to her : he 
 treats her in the most affectionate manner ; and it was upon 
 their reconciliation that she found out that you had advised 
 him to carry her into the country. She has conceived such 
 hatred and aversion against you for it, that I find, from her 
 discourse, she has not yet wholly satisfied her resentment. 
 Console yourself for the hatred of a person, whose heart never 
 merited your tenderness. Eeturn : a longer stay in this 
 place will but draw upon you some fresh misfortune : for my 
 part, I shall soon leave her : I know her, and I thank God 
 for it. I do not repent having pitied her at first ; but I am 
 disgusted with an employment which but ill agrees with my 
 way of thinking." 
 
 Upon reading this letter, astonishment, shame, hatred, and 
 rage, seized at once upon his heart : then menaces, invectives, 
 and the desire of vengeance, broke forth by turns, and ex- 
 cited his passion and resentment ; but, after he deliberately 
 considered the matter, he resolved that it was now the best 
 way quietly to mount his horse, and to carry back with him 
 to London a severe cold, instead of the soft wishes and tender 
 desires he had brought from thence. He quitted this perfi- 
 dious place with much greater expedition than he had arrived 
 at it, though his mind was far from being occupied with such 
 tender and agreeable ideas : however, when he thought him- 
 self at a sufficient distance to be out of danger of meeting 
 Lord Chesterfield and his hounds, he chose to look back, that 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 215 
 
 lie might at least have the satisfaction of seeing the prison 
 where tliis wicked enchantress was confined ; but what was 
 his surprise, when he saw a very fine house, situated on the 
 banks of a river, in the most delightful and pleasant country- 
 imaginable * Neither rock nor precipiceVas here to be seen ; 
 for, in reality, they were only in the letter of his perfidious 
 mistress. This furnished fresh cause for resentment and con- 
 fusion to a man who thought himself so well acquainted with 
 all the wiles, as well as weaknesses, of the fair sex ; and who 
 now found himself the dupe of a coquette, who was reconciled 
 to her husband in order to be revenged on her lover. 
 
 At last he reached London, well furnished with arguments 
 to maintain that a man must be extremely weak to trust to 
 the tenderness of a woman who has once deceived him, but 
 that he must be a complete fool to run after her. 
 
 This adventure not being much to his credit, he suppressed, 
 as much as possible, both the journey and the circumstances 
 attending it ; but, as we may easily suppose, Lady Chester- 
 
 * This was Bretby, in the county of Derby. A late traveller has the 
 following reflections on this place : — " Moving back again a few miles 
 to the west, we trace, with sad reflection, the melancholy ruins and 
 destructions of what was once the boasted beauty of the lovely country, 
 viz. Bretby, the ancient seat of the Earls of Chesterfield. Nothing 
 scarce is left of that former grandeur, those shades, those sylvan scenes 
 that everywhere graced the most charming of all parks : the baneful 
 hand of luxury hath, with rude violence, laid them waste. About 
 ten years ago, the venerable and lofty pile was standing, and exhibited 
 delightful magnificence to its frequent visitors : its painted roofs and 
 walls, besides a large collection of pictures, afforded much entertainment 
 to the fond admirer of antique beauties ; and the whole stood as a lasting 
 monument of fame and credit to its lordly owner. — Would they were 
 standing now ! but that thought is vain : — not only each surrounding 
 monument, but the very stones themselves, have been converted to th 
 purpose of filthy lucre." — Tour in Vi&I,from London to the Western 
 Islands of Scotland^ 12mo., p. 29. 
 
216 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 field made no secret of it, tlie king came to the knowledge of 
 it : and, having complimented Hamilton upon it, desired to 
 be informed of all the particulars of the expedition. The 
 Chevalier de Grammont happened to be present at this recital; 
 and, having gently inveighed against the treacherous manner 
 in which he had been used, said : " If she is to be blamed for 
 carrying the jest so far, you are no less to be blamed for 
 coming back so suddenly, like an ignorant novice. I dare lay 
 an hundred guineas, she has more than once repented of a 
 resentment which you pretty well deserved for the trick you 
 had played her : women love revenge ; but their resentments 
 seldom last long ; and if you had remained in the neighbour- 
 hood till the next day, I will be hanged if she would not have 
 given you satisfaction for the first night's sufferings." Hamil- 
 ton being of a different opinion, the Chevalier de Grammont 
 resolved to maintain his assertion by a case in point ; and, 
 addressing himself to the king : " Sir," said he, " your majesty 
 I suppose, must have known Marion de I'Orme, the most 
 charming creature in all Trance : though she was as witty as 
 an angel, she was as capricious as a devil. This beauty ha^dng 
 made me an appointment, a whim seized her to put me off 
 and to give it to another; she therefore wrote me one of the 
 tenderest billets in the world, full of the grief and sorrow she 
 w^as in, by being obliged to disappoint me, on account of a 
 most terrible headache, that obliged her to keep her bed, and 
 deprived her of the pleasure of seeing me till the next da}'. 
 This headache coming all of a sudden, appeared to me very 
 suspicious ; and, never doubting but it was her intention to 
 jilt me: 'Very well, mistress coquette,' said I to myseK, 'if you 
 do not enjoy the pleasure of seeing me this day, you shall not 
 enjoy the satisfaction of seeing another.' 
 
 " Hereupon, I detached all my servants, some of whom pa- 
 
MEMOIKS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 217 
 
 trolled about her house, whilst others watched her door one 
 of the latter brought me intelligence that no person had gone 
 into her house all the afternoon ; but that a foot-boy had gone 
 out as it grew dark ; that he followed him as far as the Eue 
 Saint Antoine, where this boy met another, to whom he only 
 spoke two or three words. This was sufficient to confirm my 
 suspicions, and make me resolve either to make one of the 
 party, or to disconcert it. 
 
 " As the bagnio where I lodged was at a great distance from 
 the Marais, as soon as the night set in I mounted my horse, 
 without any attendant. When I came to the Place-Eoyale,. 
 the servant, who was sentry there, assured me that no person 
 was yet gone into Mademoiselle de I'Orme's* house : I rode 
 forward towards the Kue Saint Antoine ; and, just as I was 
 going out of the Place-Eoyale, I saw a man on foot coming 
 into it, who avoided me as much as he possibly could ; but his 
 endeavour was all to no purpose ; I knew him to be the Duke 
 de Brissac, and I no longer doubted but he was my rival that 
 night : I then approached towards him, seeming as if I feared 
 I mistook my man; and, alighting with a very busy air: 
 ' Brissac, my friend,' said I, ' you must do me a service of the 
 very greatest importance : I have an appomtment, for the first 
 time, with a girl who lives very near this place ; and, as this 
 visit is only to concert measures, I shall make but a very short 
 stay : be so kind, therefore, as to lend me your cloak, and walk 
 my horse about a little, until I return ; but, above all, do not 
 go far from this place : you see that I use you freely like a 
 
 * Marion de I'Orme, born at Chalons, in Champagne, was esteemed 
 the most beautiful woman of her times. It is believed that she was 
 secretly married to the unfortunate Monsieur Cinqmars. After his 
 death, she became the mistress of Cardinal Eichelieu, and, at last, of 
 Monsieur d'Emery, superintendent of the finances. 
 
218 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 friend ; but you know it is upon condition that you may take 
 the same liberty with me.' I took his cloak, without waiting 
 for his answer, and he took my horse by the bridle, and fol- 
 lowed me with his eye ; but he gained no intelligence by this; 
 for, after having pretended to go into a house opposite to him, 
 I slipped under the piazzas to Mademoiselle de I'Orme's, where 
 the door was opened as soon as I knocked. I was so much muffled 
 up in Brissac's cloak that I was taken for him : the door was 
 immediately shut, not the least question asked me ; and having 
 none to ask myself I went straight to the lady's chamber. I 
 found her upon a couch in the most agreeable and genteelest 
 deshabille imaginable: she never in her life looked so handsome, 
 nor was so greatly surprised ; and, seeing her speechless and 
 confounded : ' What is the matter, my fair one V said I, ' me- 
 thinks this is a headache very elegantly set off ; but your 
 headache, to all appearance, is now gone V ' Not in the least,' 
 said she, ' I can scarce support it, and you will oblige me in 
 going away that I may go to bed.' ' As for your going to bed, 
 to that I have not the least objection,' said I, ' but as for my 
 going away, that cannot be, my little princess : the Chevalier de 
 Grammont is no fool ; a woman does not dress herself with so 
 much care for nothing.' ' You will find, however,' said she, 
 * that it is for nothing ; for you may depend upon it that you 
 shall be no gainer by it.' ' What !' said I, ' after having made 
 me an appointment !' ' Well,' replied she hastily, ' though I 
 had made you fifty, it stiU depends upon me, whether I chose 
 to keep them or not, and you must submit if I do not.' ' This 
 might do very well,' said I, ' if it was not to give it to another.' 
 Mademoiselle de I'Orme, as haughty as a woman of the greatest 
 virtue, and as passionate as one who has the least, was irritated 
 at a suspicion which gave her more concern than confusion; 
 and seeing that she was beginning to put herseK in a passion: 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 219 
 
 * Madam/ said I, ' pray do not talk in so high a strain ; I know 
 what perplexes you : you are afraid lest Brissac should meet 
 me here ; but you may make yourself easy on that account: I 
 met him not far from this place, and God knows that I have 
 so managed the affair as to prevent his visiting you soon.' 
 Having spoken these words in a tone somewhat tragical, she 
 appeared concerned at first, and, looking upon me with sur- 
 prise : ' What do you mean about the Duke de Brissac V said 
 she. ' I mean,* replied I, ' that he is at the end of the street, 
 walking my horse about ; but, if you will not believe me, send 
 one of your own servants thither, or look at his cloak which I 
 left in your ante-chamber.' Upon this she burst into a fit of 
 laughter, in the midst of her astonishment, and, throwing her 
 arms around my neck, ' My dear Chevalier,' said she, 'I can hold 
 out no longer ; you are too amiable and too eccentric not to be 
 pardoned.' I then told her the whole story : she was ready to 
 die with laughing ; and, parting very good friends, she assured 
 me my rival might exercise horses as long as he pleased, but 
 that he should not set his foot within her doors that night. 
 
 " I found the duke exactly in the place where I had left 
 him : I asked him a thousand pardons for having made him 
 wait so long, and thanked him a thousand times for his com- 
 plaisance. He told me I jested, that such compliments were 
 unusual among friends ; and to convince me that he had cor- 
 dially rendered me this piece of service, he would, by all means, 
 hold my horse while I was mounting. I returned him his 
 cloak, bade him good night, and went back to my lodgings, 
 equally satisfied with my mistress and my rival. This," con- 
 tinued he, " proves that a little patience and address are suffi- 
 cient to disarm the anger of the fair, to turn even their tricks 
 to a man's advantage." 
 
 It was in vain that the Chevalier de Grammont diverted the 
 
220 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT, 
 
 court with Ms stories, instructed by his example, and never 
 appeared there but to inspire universal joy ; for a long time 
 he was the only foreigner in fashion. Fortune, jealous of the 
 justice which is done to merit, and desirous of seeing all human 
 happiness depend on her caprice, raised up against him two 
 competitors for the pleasure he had long enjoyed of entertaining 
 the English court ; and these competitors were so much the 
 more dangerous, as the reputation of their several merits had 
 preceded their arrival, in order to dispose the suffrages of the 
 court in their favour. 
 
 They came to display, in their own persons, whatever wa& 
 the most accomplished either among the men of the sword, or 
 of the gown. The one was the Marquis de Flamarens,"^ the sad 
 object of the sad elegies of the Countess de la Suse,-)- the other 
 was the president Tambonneau, the most humble and most 
 obedient servant and admirer of the beauteous Luynes. As 
 they arrived together, they exerted every endeavour to shine 
 
 *A Monsieur Flamarm, but whether the same person as here described 
 cannot be exactly ascertained, is mentioned, in Sydney's Letters, to 
 have been in England at a later period than is comprehended in these 
 Memoirs. " Monsieur de Flamarin hath been received at Windsor as 
 seriously as if it had been believed the Queen of Spain's marriage should 
 not hold unless it were here approved ; and the formalities that are 
 usual with men of business having been observed to him, he is grown to 
 think he is so." — Sydney^s WorJcs^ p. 94. 
 
 t This lady was the daughter of Gaspar de Coligni, marshal of France, 
 and was celebrated iij her time for her wit and her elegies. She was 
 one of the few women with whom Christina, Queen of Sweden, con- 
 descended to become intimate. Though educated a protestant, she 
 embraced the Eoman catholic religion, less from a motive of devotion, 
 than to have a pretence for parting from her husband, who was a pro- 
 testant, and for whom she had an invincible abhorrence ; which occa- 
 sioned the queen to say, " The Countess of Suse became a catholic, that 
 she might neither meet her husband in this world nor the next." — See- 
 Lacomhe's Life of Queen Christina. The Countess died in 1673. 
 
MEMOIES OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 221 
 
 in concert : their talents were as different as their persons ; 
 Tambonneau,^ who was tolerably ugly, founded his hopes upon 
 a great store of wit, which, however, no person in England 
 could jfind out; and Flamarens, by his air and mien, courted 
 admiration, which was flatly denied him. 
 
 They had agreed mutually to assist each other, in order to 
 succeed in their intentions ; and therefore, in their first visits, 
 the one appeared in state, and the other was the spokesman. 
 But they found the ladies in England of a far different taste 
 from those who had rendered them famous in France : the 
 rhetoric of the one had no effect on the fair sex, and the fine 
 mien of the other distinguished him only in a minuet, which 
 he first introduced into England, and which he danced with 
 tolerable success. The English court had been too long ac- 
 customed to the solid wit of Saint Evremond, and the natural 
 and singular charms of his hero, to be seduced by appearances ; 
 however, as the EngKsh have, in general, a sort of predilection 
 in favour of anything that has the appearance of bravery, 
 Flamarens was better received on account of a duel, which, 
 obliging him to leave his own country, was a recommendation 
 to him in England. 
 
 Miss Hamilton had, at first, the honour of being distinguished 
 by Tambonneau, who thought she possessed a sufficient share 
 of wit to discover the delicacy of his ; and, being delighted to 
 find that nothing was lost in her conversation, either as to the 
 turn, the expression, or beauty of the thought, he frequently 
 did her the favour to converse with her; and, perhaps, he 
 would never have found out that he was tiresome, if, content- 
 ing himself with the display of his eloquence, he had not 
 thought proper to attack her heart. This was carrying the 
 
 * I find this person mentioned in Memoirs of the Court of France, 
 -8vo., 1702, part ii., p. 42. 
 
222 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 matter a little too far for Miss Hamilton's complaisance, who 
 was of opinion that she had already shown him too much for 
 the tropes of his harangues : he was therefore desired to try 
 somewhere else the experiment of his seducing tongue, and not 
 to lose the merit of his former constancy by an infidelity which 
 would be of no advantage to him. 
 
 He followed this advice like a wise and tractable man ; 
 and some time after, returning to his old mistress in France, 
 he began to lay in a store of politics for those important ne- 
 gotiations in which he has since been employed. 
 
 It was not till after his departure that the Chevalier de 
 Grammont heard of the amorous declaration he had made : 
 this was a confidence of no great importance; it, however, 
 saved Tambonneau from some ridicule which might have 
 fallen to his share before he went away. His colleague, Fla- 
 marens, deprived of his support, soon perceived that he was 
 not likely to meet in England with the success he had ex- 
 pected, both from love and fortune : but Lord Falmouth, ever 
 attentive to the glory of his master, in the relief of illustrious 
 men in distress, provided for his subsistence, and Lady 
 Southesk for his pleasures : he obtained a pension from the 
 king, and from her everything he desired ; and most happy 
 was it for him that she had no other present to bestow but 
 that of her heart. 
 
 It was at this time that Talbot, whom we have before men- 
 tioned, and who was afterwards created Duke of Tjrrconnel,* 
 
 * Eichard Talbot, the fifth son " of an Irish family, but of ancient 
 English extraction, which had always inhabited within that circle that 
 was called the Pale ; which, being originally an English plantation, 
 was, in so many hundred years, for the most part degenerated into 
 the manners of the Irish, and rose and mingled with them in the late 
 rebellion : and of this family there were two distinct families, who had 
 competent estates, and lived in many descents in the rank of gentlemen 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 223 
 
 fell in love with Miss Hamilton. There was not a more 
 genteel man at court : he was indeed but a younger brother, 
 
 of quality." Thus far Lord Clarendon ; who adds, that Richard Talbot 
 and his " brothers were all the sons, or the grandsons, of one who was 
 a judge in Ireland, and esteemed a learned man." — Continuation of 
 Clarendon. Of the person now under consideration the same writer 
 appears, and with great reason, to have entertained a very ill opinion. 
 Dick Talbot, as he was called, " was brought into Flanders first by Daniel 
 O'Neile, as one who was willing to assassinate Cromwell ; and he made 
 a journey into England with that resolution, not long before his death, 
 and after it returned into Flanders, ready to do all that he should be 
 required. He was a very handsome young man, wore good clothes, and 
 was, without doubt, of a clear, ready courage, which was virtue enough 
 to recommend a man to the duke's good opinion ; which, with more 
 expedition than could be expected, he got, to that degree, that he was 
 made of his bed-chamber ; and from that qualification embarked himself, 
 after the king's return, in the pretences of the Irish, with such an 
 unusual confidence, and, upon private contracts, with such scandalous 
 circumstances, that the chancellor had sometimes, at the council- table, 
 been obliged to give him severe reprehensions, and often desired the 
 duke to withdraw his countenance from him." — Continuation of Claren- 
 don. It is to be remembered that he was one of the men of honour 
 already noticed. On King James's accession to the throne, he was 
 created ^^larl of Tyrconnel, and placed, as lieutenant-general, at the 
 head of the Irish army, where his conduct was so agreeable to his 
 sovereign, that he was, in 1689, advanced to the dignity of Duke of 
 Tyrconnel. He was afterwards employed by the king in Ireland, where 
 his efforts were without effect. The Duke of Berwick says, " his stature 
 was above the ordinary size. He had great experience of the world, 
 having been early introduced into the best company, and possessed of 
 an honourable employment in the household of the Duke of York ; who, 
 upon his succession to the crown, raised him to the dignity of an earl, 
 and, well knowing his zeal and attachment, made him soon after viceroy 
 of Ireland. He was a man of very good sense, very obliging, but immo- 
 derately vain, and full of cunning. Though he had acquired great pos- 
 sessions, it could not be said that he had employed improper means ; for 
 he never appeared to have a passion for money. He had not a military 
 genius, but much courage. After the Prince of Orange's invasion, his 
 
224: MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 though of a very ancient family, which, however, was not 
 very considerable either for its renown or its riches; and 
 though he was naturally of a careless disposition, yet, being 
 intent upon making his fortune, and much in favour with the 
 Duke of York, and fortune likewise favouring him at play, he 
 had improved both so well that he was in possession of about 
 forty thousand pounds a year in land. He offered himself to 
 Miss Hamilton, with this fortune, together with the almost 
 certain hopes of being made a peer of the realm, by his 
 master's credit ; and, over-and-above all, as many sacrifices as 
 she could desire of Lady Shrewsbury's letters, pictures, and 
 hair; curiosities which, indeed, are reckoned for nothing in 
 housekeeping, but which testify strongly in favour of the 
 sincerity and merit of a lover. 
 
 Such a rival was not to be despised ; and the Chevalier de 
 Grammont thought him the more dangerous, as he perceived 
 that Talbot was desperately in love ; that he was not a man 
 to be discouraged by a first repulse ; that he had too much 
 sense and good breeding to draw upon himself either contempt 
 or coldness by too great eagerness ; and, besides this, his 
 brothers began to frequent the house. One of these brothers 
 was almoner to the queen,"^ an intriguing Jesuit, and a great 
 match-maker : the other was what was called a lay-monk,t 
 
 firmness preserved Ireland, and he nobly refused all the offers that were 
 made to induce him to submit. From the time of the battle of the 
 Boyne, he sank prodigiously, being become as irresolute in his mind as 
 unwieldy in his person." — Memoirs, vol. i., p. 94. He died at Limerick, 
 5th August, 1691. 
 
 * This was Peter Talbot, whose character is drawn by Lord Claren- 
 don in terms not more favourable than those in which his brother is 
 pourtrayed. — See Continuation of Clarendon, p. 363. 
 
 t Thomas Talbot, a Franciscan friar, of wit enough, says Lord 
 Clarendon, but of notorious debauchery. More particulars of this man 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 225 
 
 who had nothing of his order but the immorality and infamy 
 of character which is ascribed to them ; and withal, frank and 
 free, and sometimes entertaining, but ever ready to speak 
 bold and offensive truths, and to do good of&ces. 
 
 When the Chevalier de G-rammont reflected upon all these 
 things, there certainly was strong ground for uneasiness : nor 
 was the indifference which Miss Hamilton showed for the 
 addresses of his rival sufficient to remove his fears ; for being 
 absolutely dependent on her father's will, she could only 
 answer for her own intentions : but Fortune, who seemed to 
 have taken him under her protection in England, now de- 
 livered him from all his uneasiness. 
 
 Talbot had for many years stood forward as the patron of 
 the distressed Irish : this zeal for his countrymen was cer- 
 tainly very commendable in itself; at the same time, however, 
 it was not altogether free from self-interest : for, out of all the 
 estates he had, through his credit, procured the restoration of 
 to their primitive owners, he had always obtained some small 
 compensation for himself ; but, as each owner found his ad- 
 vantage in it, no complaint was made. N'evertheless, as it is 
 very difficult to use fortune and favour with moderation, and 
 not to swell \«i^h the gales of prosperity, some of his proceed- 
 ings had an air of haughtiness and independence, which 
 offended the Duke of Ormond,"^ then Lord Lieutenant of 
 Ireland, as injurious to his Grace's authority. The Duke re- 
 sented this behaviour with great spirit. As there certainly 
 
 may be found in the same noble historian, — See Continuation of 
 Clarendon, p. 363. 
 
 * A very exact account of this transaction is given by Lord Claren- 
 don, by which it appears, that Talbot was committed to the Tower for 
 threatening to assassinate the Duke of Ormond. — Continuation of 
 Clarendon, p. 362. 
 
 15 
 
226 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 was a great difference between them, both as to their birth 
 and rank, and to their credit, it had been prudent in Talbot 
 to have had recourse to apologies and submission ; but such 
 conduct appeared to him base, and unworthy for a man of his 
 importance to submit to : he accordingly acted with haughti- 
 ness and insolence ; but he was soon convinced of his error ; 
 for, having inconsiderately launched out into some arrogant 
 expressions, which it neither became him to utter nor the 
 Duke of Ormond to forgive, he was sent prisoner to the 
 Tower, from whence he could not be released until he had 
 made all necessary submissions to his Grace: he therefore 
 employed all his friends for that purpose, and was obliged to 
 yield more to get out of this scrape than would have been 
 necessary to have avoided it. By this imprudent conduct he 
 lost all hopes of marrying into a family, which, after such a 
 proceeding, was not likely to listen to any proposal from him. 
 
 It was with great difficulty and mortification that he was 
 obliged to suppress a passion which had made far greater 
 progress in his heart than this quarrel had done good to his 
 affairs. This being the case, he was of opinion that his presence 
 was necessary in Ireland, and that he was better out of the 
 way of Miss Hamilton, to remove those impressions which 
 still troubled his repose: his departure, therefore, soon fol- 
 lowed this resolution. 
 
 Talbot played deep, and was tolerably forgetful : the Che- 
 valier de Grammont won three or four hundred guineas of 
 him the very evening on which he was sent to the Tower. 
 That accident had made him forget his usual punctuality in 
 paying the next morning whatever he had lost over-night; 
 and this d^bt had so far escaped his memory, that it never 
 once occurred to him after he was enlarged. The Chevalier 
 de Grammont, who saw him at his departure, without taking 
 
H m H "TE. F II IE, r<r I'^ :( ■.) X 
 
MEMOIKS OF COUNT GRAMMOj^T, 227 
 
 the least notice of the money he owed him, wished him a 
 good journey; and, having met him at court, as he came to 
 take his leave of the king : " Talbot," said he, " if my services 
 can be of any use to you during your absence, you have but 
 to command them : you know old Eussell has left his nephew 
 as his resident with Miss Hamilton : if you please, I will act 
 for you in the same capacity. Adieu, God bless you : be sure 
 not to fall sick upon the road; but if you should, pray 
 remember me in your will." Talbot, who, upon this compli- 
 ment, immediately recollected the money he owed the Che- 
 valier, burst out a-laughing, and embracing him : " My dear 
 Chevalier," said he, " I am so much obliged to you for your 
 offer, that I resign you my mistress, and will send you your 
 money instantly." The Chevalier de Grammont possessed a 
 thousand of these genteel ways of refreshing the memories of 
 those persons who were apt to be forgetful in their payments. 
 The following is the method he used some years after with 
 Lord Cornwallis :* this lord had married the daughter of Sir 
 Stephen Fox,-!* treasurer of the king's household, one of the 
 
 * Charles, the third Lord Cornwallis, born in 1655. He married, 
 December 27, 1673, Elizabeth, eldest daughter of Sir Stephen Fox, 
 knight, and afterwards, in 1688, the widow of the Duke of Mon- 
 mouth. Lord Cornwallis died April 29, 1698. 
 
 t This gentleman is said to have been of a genteel family, settled at 
 Farley, in Wiltshire, and was the architect of his own fortune. Lord 
 Clarendon says, in his History of the Rebellion^ that he was enter- 
 tained by Lord Percy, then lord-chamberlain of the king's household, 
 at Paris, about the year 1652, and continued in his majesty's service 
 until the Eestoration. On that event he was made clerk of the gTeen 
 cloth, and afterwards paymaster-general of the forces in England. On 
 the 1st July, 1665, he was knighted. In 1680, he was constituted one 
 of the lords commissioners of the treasury. On the accession of James 
 II, he was continued first clerk of the green cloth ; and, in December, 
 1686, was again appointed one of the commissioners of the treasury. 
 At the revolution, he concurred in voting the throne vacant ; and, on 
 
 15—2 
 
228 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 richest and most regular men in England. His son-in-law, 
 on the contrary, was a young spendthrift, was very extrava- 
 gant, loved gaming, lost as much as any one would trust him, 
 but was not quite so ready at paying. His father-in-law dis- 
 approved of his conduct, paid his debts, and gave him a 
 lecture at the same time. The Chevalier de Grammont had 
 won of him a thousand or twelve hundred guineas, which he 
 heard no tidings of, although he was upon the eve of his de- 
 parture, and he had taken leave of Cornwallis in a more par- 
 ticular manner than any other person. This obliged the 
 Chevalier to write him a billet, which was rather laconic. It 
 was this : 
 
 " My Lord, 
 
 " Pray remember the Count de Grammont, and do not 
 forget Sir Stephen Fox." 
 
 To return to Talbot : he went away more concerned than 
 became a man who had voluntarily resigned his mistress to 
 another : neither his stay in Ireland, nor his solicitude about 
 his domestic affairs, perfectly cured him ; and if at his return 
 he found himself disengaged from Miss Hamilton's chains, it 
 was only to exchange them for others. The alteration that 
 had taken place in the two courts occasioned this change in 
 him, as we shall see in the sequel. 
 
 We have hitherto only mentioned the queen's maids of 
 honour, upon account of Miss Stewart and Miss Warmestre : 
 
 19th March, 1689, was a third time appointed to the treasury ; which, 
 place he held until he retired from public business, in 1701. By his 
 first lady he had seven sons and three daughters ; and by his second, 
 whom he married in the year 1703, when he was 76 years of age, he 
 had two sons, who both afterwards became peers, — Stephen, Earl of 
 Ilchester, and Henry, Lord Holland, and two daughters. He died in 
 the year 1716, at Chiswick, in his 89th year. 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GEAMMONT. 229 
 
 the others were Miss Bellenden, Mademoiselle de la Garde, 
 and Mademoiselle Bardou, all maids of honour, as it pleased 
 God. 
 
 Miss Bellenden was no beauty, but was a good-natured girl, 
 whose chief merit consisted in being plump and fresh-coloured; 
 and who, not having a sufficient stock of wit to be a coquette 
 in form, used all her endeavours to please every person by her 
 complaisance. Mademoiselle de la Garde, and Mademoiselle 
 Bardou, both French, had been preferred to their places by the 
 queen dowager : the first was a little brunette, who was con- 
 tinually meddling in the affairs of her companions ; and the 
 other by all means claimed the rank of a maid of honour, 
 though she only lodged with the others, and both her title and 
 services were constantly contested. 
 
 It was hardly possible for a woman to be more ugly, mth 
 so fine a shape ; but as a recompense, her ugliness was set off 
 with every art. The use she was put to, was to dance with 
 Flamarens, and sometimes, towards the conclusion of a ball, 
 possessed of castanets and effrontery, she would dance some 
 figured saraband or other, which amused the court. Let us 
 now see in what manner this ended. 
 
 As Miss Stewart was very seldom in waiting on the queen^ 
 she was scarcely considered as a maid of honour : the others 
 went off almost at the same time, by different adventures ; and 
 this is the history of Miss Warmestre, whom we have before 
 mentioned, when speaking of the Chevalier de Grammont. 
 
 Lord Taaffe, eldest son of the Earl of Carlingford,* was sup- 
 
 * Nicholas, the third Viscount Taaffe, and second Earl of Carlingford. 
 He was of the privy-council to King James IL, and, in 1689, went as 
 envoy to the Emperor LeojDold. He lost his life the next year, 1st 
 July, at the battle of the Boyne, commanding at that time a regi- 
 ment of foot. This nobleman, although he succeeded his father in his 
 title, was not his eldest son. King Charles appears to have had a great 
 
230 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 posed to be in love with her ; and Miss Warmestre not only 
 imagined it was so, but likewise persuaded herself that he 
 would not fail to marry her the first opportunity ; and in the 
 mean time she thought it her duty to entertain him with all 
 the civility imaginable. Taaffe had made the Duke of Eich- 
 mond"^ his confidant : these two were particularly attached to 
 each other ; but still more so to wine. The Duke of Eich- 
 mond, notwithstanding his birth, made but an indifferent 
 figure at court ; and the king respected him still less than his 
 courtiers did : and perhaps it was in order to court his ma- 
 jesty's favour that he thought proper to faU. in love with Miss 
 Stewart. The Duke and Lord Taaffe made each other the 
 confidants of their respective engagements; and these were 
 the measures they took to put their designs in execution. 
 Little Mademoiselle de la Garde"|* was charged to acquaint 
 
 regard for the family. In a letter from Lord Arlington to Sir Eichard 
 Fanshaw, dated April 21, 1664, that nobleman says, " Colonel Luke 
 Taaffe (a brother of my Lord Carlingford's) hath served his catholic 
 majesty many years in the state of Milan, with a standing regiment 
 there ; which regiment he desires now to deliver over to Captain 
 Nicholas Taaffe, a younger son of my Lord Carlingford's, and the 
 colonel's nephew, who is now a captain of the regiment ; and his 
 majesty commands me to recommend to your excellency the bringing 
 this to pass, for the affection he hath to the family, and the merit of 
 this young gentleman." — Arlington's Letters, vol. ii., p. 21. 
 
 * Charles Stewart, Duke of Eichmond and Lennox. He was after- 
 wards sent ambassador to Denmark, and died at Elsinore, December 
 12, 1672. Burnet says, he " was sent to give a lustre to the negotia- 
 tion, which was chiefly managed by Mr. Henshaw.'' — History of his 
 own Times J vol. i., p. 425. 
 
 t Daughter of Charles Peliot, Lord de la Garde, whose eldest 
 daughter married Sir Thomas Bond, comptroller of the household to 
 the queen-mother. Sir Thomas Bond had a considerable estate at Peck- 
 ham, and his second son married the niece of Jermyn, one of the 
 heroes of these Memoirs. — See Collinses Baronetage, vol. iii., p. 4. She 
 became the wife of Sir Gabriel Silvius, and died 13th October, 1730. 
 
t 
 
 ^m£^:f^IE.s ^nri^^^^T^DrKj^ (.:i^ lacii::! di^jd) 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GEAMMONT. 231 
 
 Miss Stewart that the Duke of Eichmond was dying of love 
 for her, and that when he ogled her in public it was a certain 
 sign that he was ready to marry her, as soon as ever she would 
 consent. 
 
 Taaffe had no commission to give the little ambassadress 
 for Miss Warmestre; for there everything was already ar- 
 ranged ; but she was charged to settle and provide some con- 
 veniences which were still wanting for the freedom of their 
 commerce, such as to have free egress and regress to her at all 
 hours of the day or night : this appeared difficult to be obtained, 
 but it was, however, at length accomplished. 
 
 The governess of the maids of honour, who for the world 
 would not have connived at anything that was not fair and 
 honourable, consented that they should sup as often as they 
 pleased in Miss,Warmestre's apartments, provided their inten- 
 tions were honourable, and she one of the company. The good 
 old lady was particularly, fond of green oysters, and had no 
 aversion to Spanish-.wine : she was certain of finding at every 
 one of these suppers two barrels of oysters; one to be eaten 
 with the party, and the other for her to carry away: as soon, 
 therefore, as she had taken her dose of wine, she took her 
 leave of the company. 
 
 It was much about the time that the Chevalier de Gram- 
 mont had cast his eyes upon Miss Warmestre, that this kind 
 of life was led in her chamber. God knows how many ham 
 pies, bottles of wine, and other products of his lordship's liber- 
 ality were there consumed ! 
 
 In the midst of these nocturnal festivals, and of this innocent 
 commerce, a relation of Killegrew's came up to London about 
 a lawsuit : he gained his cause, but nearly lost his senses. 
 
 He was a country gentleman, who had been a widower 
 about six months, and was possessed of fifteen or sixteen thou- 
 
232 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 sand pounds a-year : the good man, who had no business at 
 court, went thither merely to see his cousin Killegrew, who 
 could have dispensed with his visits. He there saw Miss 
 Warmestre ; and at first sight fell in love with her. His passion 
 increased to such a degree that, having no rest either by day 
 or night, he was obliged to have recourse to extraordinary re- 
 medies ; he therefore early one morning called upon his cousin 
 Killegrew, told him his case, and desired him to demand Miss 
 Warmestre in marriage for him. 
 
 Killegrew was struck with wonder and astonishment when 
 he heard his design : nor could he cease wondering at what 
 sort of creature, of all the women in London, his cousui had 
 resolved upon marrying. It was some time before Killegrew 
 could believe that he was in earnest ; but when he was con- 
 vinced that he was, he began to enumerate the dangers and 
 inconveniences attending so rash an enterprise. He told hmi 
 that a girl educated at court, was a terrible piece of furniture 
 for the country ; that to carry her thither against her inclina- 
 tion, would as effectually rob him of his happiness and repose, 
 as if he was transported to hell ; that if he consented to let 
 her stay, he needed only to compute what it would cost him in 
 equipage, table, clothes, and gaming-money, to maintain her in 
 London according to her caprices ; and then to cast up how 
 long his fifteen thousand a-year would last. 
 
 His cousin had already formed this computation ; but, find- 
 ing his reason less potent than his love, he remained fixed in 
 his resolution ; and Killegrew, yielding at length to his impor- 
 tunities, went and offered his cousin, bound hand and foot, to 
 the victorious fair. As he dreaded nothing more than a com- 
 pliance on her part, so nothing could astonish hun more than 
 the contempt with which she received his proposal. The scorn 
 with which she refused him, made him believe that she was 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. Zoo 
 
 sure of Lord Taaffe, and wonder how a girl like her could find 
 out two men who would venture to marry her. He hastened 
 to relate this refusal, with all the most aggravating circum- 
 stances, as the best news he could carry to his cousin ; but his 
 cousin would not believe him: he supposed that Killegrew 
 disguised the truth, for the same reasons he had already al- 
 leged ; and not daring to mention the matter any more to him, 
 he resolved to wait upon her himself. He summoned all his 
 courage for the enterprise, and got his compliment by heart ; 
 but as soon as he had opened his mouth for the purpose, she 
 told him he might have saved himself the trouble of calling 
 on her about such a ridiculous affair ; that she had already 
 given her answer to Killegrew ; and that she neither had, nor 
 ever should have, any other to give ; wliich words she accom- 
 panied with all the severity with which importunate demands 
 are usually refused. 
 
 He was more affected than confounded at this repulse: 
 everything became odious to him in London, and he himself 
 more so than all the rest : he therefore left town, without taking- 
 leave of his cousin, went back to his country seat, and thinking 
 it would be impossible for him to live without the inhuman 
 fair, he resolved to neglect no opportunity in his power to 
 hasten his death. 
 
 But whilst, in order to indulge his sorrow, he had forsaken 
 all intercourse with dogs and horses ; that is to say, renounced 
 all the delights and endearments of a country squire, the scorn- 
 ful nymph, who was certainly mistaken in her reckoning, took 
 the liberty of being brought to-bed in the face of the whole 
 court. 
 
 An adventure so public made no small noise, as we may 
 very well imagine : all the prudes at court at once broke loose 
 upon it ; and those principally, whose age or persons secured 
 
.234 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 them from any such scandal, were the most inveterate, and 
 cried most loudly for justice. But the governess of the maids 
 of honour, who might have been called to an account for it, 
 af&rmed that it was nothing at all, and that she was possessed 
 of circumstances which would at once silence all censorious 
 tongues. She had an audience of the queen, in order to un- 
 fold the mystery ; and related to her majesty how everything 
 had passed with her consent, that is to say, upon honourable 
 terms. 
 
 The queen sent to inquire of Lord Taaffe, whether he ac- 
 knowledged Miss Warmestre for his wife : to which he most 
 respectfully returned for answer, that he neither acknowledged 
 Miss Warmestre nor her child, and that he wondered why she 
 should rather father it upon him than any other. The unfor- 
 tunate Warmestre, more enraged at this answer than at the 
 loss of such a lover, quitted the court as soon as ever she was 
 able, with a resolution of quitting the world the first oppor- 
 tunity. 
 
 Killegrew, being upon the point of setting out upon a jour- 
 ney, when this adventure happened, thought he might as well 
 call upon his af&icted cousin in his way, to acquaint him with 
 the circumstance; .and as soon as he saw him, without paying 
 any attention to the delicacy of his love, or to his feelings, he 
 bluntly told him the whole story : nor did he omit any colour- 
 ing that could heighten his indignation, in order to make him 
 burst with shame and resentment. 
 
 We read that the gentle Tiridates quietly expired upon the 
 recital of the death of Mariamne ; but Killegrew's fond cousin 
 falling devoutly upon his knees, and lifting up his eyes to 
 Heaven, poured forth this exclamation : 
 
 " Praised be the Lord for a small misfortune, which perhaps 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 235 
 
 may prove the comfort of my life ! Who knows but the beau- 
 teous Warmestre will now accept of me for a husband ; and 
 that I may have the happiness of passing the remainder of my 
 days with a woman I adore, and by whom I may expect to 
 have heirs ?" " Certainly," said Killegrew, more confounded 
 than his cousin ought to have been on such an occasion, " you 
 may depend upon having both : I make no manner of doubt 
 but she will marry you as soon as ever she is recovered from 
 her lying-in ; and it would be a great ill-nature in her, who 
 already knows the way, to let you want children : however, in 
 the meantime I advise you to take that she has already, till 
 you get more." 
 
 Notwithstanding this raillery, all that was said did take 
 place. This faithful lover courted her, as if she had been the 
 chaste Lucretia, or the beauteous Helen : his passion even in- 
 creased after marriage, and the generous fair, first out of 
 gratitude, and afterwards through inclination, never brought 
 him a child of which he was not the father; and though 
 there have been many a happy couple in England, this 
 <jertainly was the happiest. 
 
 Some time after. Miss Bellenden, not being terrified by this 
 -example, had the prudence to quit the court before she was 
 obliged so to do : the disagreeable Bardou followed her soon 
 after; but for different reasons. Every person was at last 
 completely tired of her saraband, as well as of her face ; and 
 the king, that he might see neither of them any more, gave 
 each a small pension for her subsistence. There now only 
 remained little Mademoiselle de la Garde to be provided for : 
 neither her virtues nor her vices were sufiiciently conspicuous 
 to occasion her being either dismissed from court, or pressed to 
 remain there : God knows what would have become of her, if 
 
236 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 a Mr. Silvius,^ a man who had nothing of a Eoman in him 
 except the name, had not taken the poor girl to be his wife. 
 
 We have now shown how all these damsels deserved to be 
 expelled, either for their irregularities, or for their ugliness ; 
 and yet, those who replaced them found means to make them 
 regretted. Miss Wells only excepted. 
 
 She was a tall girl, exquisitely shaped: she dressed very 
 genteel, walked like a goddess ; and yet, her face, though 
 made like those that generally please the most, was unfortu- 
 nately one of those that pleased the least : nature had spread 
 over it a certain careless indolence that made her look 
 sheepish. This gave but a bad opinion of her wit : and her 
 wit had the ill-luck to make good that opinion : however, as 
 she was fresh coloured, and appeared inexperienced, the king, 
 whom the fair Stewart did not render over nice as to the 
 perfections of the mind, resolved to try whether the senses 
 would not fare better with Miss Wells's person than fine senti- 
 ments with her understanding : nor was this experiment 
 attended with much difficulty: she was of a loyal family; 
 and her father having faithfully served Charles the First, she 
 thought it her duty not to revolt against Charles the Second. 
 But this connection was not attended with very advantageous 
 circumstances for herself; some pretended that she did not 
 hold out long enough, and that she surrendered at discretion 
 before she was vigorously attacked; and others said, that 
 
 * Afterwards Sir Gabriel Silvius. In Chamherlayne^s Anglice 
 Notitia, 1669, Gabriel de Sylviis is put down as one of the carvers to 
 the queen, and Mi-s. de Sylviis, one of the six chambriers or dressers 
 to the queen. He was afterwards knighted, and, 30th February, 1680, 
 was sent ambassador to the Dukes of Brunswick and Lunenburgh. 
 Lord Orford says, he was a native of Orange, and was attached to 
 the princess-royal, afterwards to the Duke of York. He also says, he 
 was sent ambassador to Denmark. 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 237 
 
 lis majesty complained of certain other facilities still less 
 pleasing. The Duke of Buckingham made a couplet upon 
 this occasion, wherein the king, speaking to Progers, the con- 
 fidant of his intrigues, puns upon the name of the fair one, to 
 the following purport : 
 
 When the king felt the horrible depth of this Well, 
 
 Tell me, Progers,* cried Charlie, where am I ? oh tell ! 
 
 Had I sought the world's centre to find, I had found it, 
 
 But this Well ! ne'er a plummet was made that could sound it." 
 
 * Edward Progers, Esq., was a younger son of Philip Progers, Esq., 
 of the family of Garreddin, in Monmouthshire. His father was a 
 colonel in the army, and equerry to James I. Edward was early in- 
 troduced to coiirt, and, after having been page to Charles I., was made 
 groom of the bed-chamber to his son, while Prince of Wales. He 
 attached himself to the king's interest during the war with the par- 
 liament, with laudable fidelity. The following letter, from which 
 antiquaries may derive the minute information that Charles II. did 
 wear mourning for a whole year for his father, serves to shew the fami- 
 liar style which Charles used to Progers, as well as his straitened cir- 
 cumstances while in the island of Jersey. 
 
 " Progers, I wold have you (besides the embroidred sute) bring me a 
 plaine riding suite, with an innocent coate, the suites I haue for horse - 
 backe being so spotted and spoiled that they are not to be seene out of 
 this island. The lining of the coate, and the petit toies are referred to your 
 greate discretion, provided there want nothing when it comes to be put 
 on. I doe not remember there was a belt, or a hat-band, in your direc- 
 tions for the embroidred suite, and those are so necessarie as you must 
 not forget them. 
 
 Jearsez/, lUh Jan. old stile, 1649. Charles E.'^ 
 
 ^' For Mr. Progers." 
 
 By a letter from Cowley to Henry Bennet, dated 18th November, 1650, 
 Mr. Progers appears to have been then active in his master's service. — 
 Brown! s Miscellanea Aidica, 1702, p. 153. In the lampoons of the 
 times, particularly in those of Andrew Marvell, Mr. Progers is de- 
 scribed as one devoted to assist his master's pleasures; for which reason, 
 perhaps, he was banished from the king's presence in 1650, by an act of 
 the estates of Scotland, " as an evil instrument and bad counsellor of the 
 
238 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 Miss Wells, notwithstanding this species of anagram upon 
 her name, and these remarks upon her person, shone the 
 brightest among her new companions. These were Miss 
 Levingston, Miss Fielding, and Miss Boynton, who little 
 deserve to be mentioned in these memoirs; therefore we 
 shall leave them in obscurity until it please fortune to draw 
 them out of it. 
 
 This was the new establishment of maids of honour to the 
 queen. The Duchess of York, nearly about the same time, 
 likewise recruited hers ; but showed, by a happier and more 
 brilliant choice, that England possessed an inexhaustible 
 stock of beauties. But before we begin to speak of them, let 
 us see who were the first maids of honour to her royal high- 
 ness, and on what account they were removed. 
 
 Besides Miss Blague and Miss Price, whom we have before 
 mentioned, the establishment was composed of Miss Bagot 
 and Miss Hobart, the president of the community. 
 
 king." He is said to have obtained several grants to take effect upon 
 the restoration : but it does not appear that they took effect. In 1660, 
 he was named, says Lord Orford, one of the knights of the royal oak, 
 an order the king then intended to institute. By the same authority we 
 are informed that he had permission from the king to build a house in 
 Bushy Park, near Hampton Court, on condition that, after his death, it 
 should revert to the crown. This was the house inhabited by the late 
 Earl of Halifax. He represented the county of Brecon in parliament for 
 seventeen years, but retired in 1679. On the death of his master, he 
 retired from public life. Mr. Progers died, says Le Neve, " December 
 31st, or January 1st, 1V13, aged 96, of the anguish of cutting teeth, he 
 having cut four new teeth, and had several ready to cut, which so in- 
 flamed his gums, that he died thereof." He was in low circumstances 
 before his death, and applied to King James for relief, with what effect 
 is not known. Mr. Progers had a family by his wife Elizabeth Wells ; 
 and the scandal-bearers of the time remarked, that his eldest daughter 
 Philippa, afterwards Mrs. Croxel, bore a strong resemblance to Charles 
 II. — Monumenta Anglicana, 1717, p. 273. 
 
:EA"M. OT -FlETKlRSlHIi^IM 
 
I 
 
Sirl.Zely T. 
 
 3IZ § ^' ]B ^^ OBr © :r o 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 239' 
 
 Miss Blague, who never knew the true reason of her quarrel 
 with the Marquis de Brisacier, took it up upon that fatal 
 letter she had received from him, wherein, without acquaint- 
 ing her that Miss Price was to wear the same sort of gloves 
 and yellow riband as herself, he had only complimented her 
 upon her hair, her fair complexion, and her eyes TYiarcassins. 
 This word she imagined must signify something particularly 
 wonderful, since her eyes were compared to it; and being 
 desirous, some time afterwards, to know all the energy of the 
 expression, she asked the meaning of the French word Tnar- 
 cassin. As there are no wild boars in England, those to 
 whom she addressed herself, told her that it signified a young 
 pig. This scandalous simile confirmed her in the belief she 
 entertained of his perfidy. Brisacier, more amazed at her 
 change, than she was offended at his supposed calumny 
 looked upon her as a woman still more capricious than in- 
 significant, and never troubled himself more about her ; but 
 
 Sir Yarborough, of as fair a complexion as herself, made 
 
 her an offer of marriage in the height of her resentment, and 
 was accepted : chance made up this match, I suppose, as an 
 experiment to try what such a white-haired union would 
 produce. 
 
 Miss Price was witty; and as her person was not very 
 likely to attract many admirers, which, however, she was re- 
 solved to have, she was far from being coy when an occasion 
 offered : she did not so much as make any terms : she was 
 violent in her resentments, as well as in her attachments, 
 which had exposed her to some inconveniences ; and she had 
 very indiscreetly quarrelled with a young girl whom Lord 
 Eochester admired. This connection, which till then had 
 been a secret, she had the imprudence to publish to the whole 
 world, and thereby drew upon herself the most dangerous- 
 
240 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 enemy in the universe : never did any man write with more 
 <ease, hnmoiir, spirit, and delicacy ; but he was at the same 
 time the most severe satirist. 
 
 Poor Miss Price, who had thus voluntarily provoked liis 
 resentment, was daily exposed in some new shape : there was 
 every day some new song or other, the subject of which was 
 her conduct, and the burden her name. How was it possible 
 for her to bear up against these attacks, in a court, where 
 every person was eager to obtain the most insignificant trifle 
 that came from the pen of Lord Eochester ? The loss of her 
 lover, and the discovery that attended it, was only wanting to 
 complete the persecution that was raised against her. 
 
 About this time died Dongan,^ a gentleman of merit, who 
 was succeeded by Durfort, afterwards Earl of Feversham,-|- in 
 
 * The only notice of this person I have anywhere seen, is in the 
 following extract of a letter from Sir Eichard Fanshaw to Lord Arling- 
 ton, dated 4th June, 1664. — "I ought not, in justice to an honourable 
 person, to conclude before I acquaint your honour, that I have this day 
 seen a letter, whereby it is certified, from my Lord Dongan, (now at 
 Heres,) that, if there were any ship in Cadiz bound for Tangier, he 
 would go over in her, to do his majesty what service he could in that 
 garrison ; which, he saith, he fears wants good officers very much." — 
 Fanshaiv's Letters, vol. i., p. 104. 
 
 t Louis de Duras, Earl of Feversham, a native of France, being son 
 of the Duke de Duras, and brother to the last duke of that name, as 
 also to the Duke de Lorge. His mother was sister to the great Turenne, 
 of the princely house of Bouillon. After the restoration he came to 
 England, was naturalized, and behaved with great gallantry in the sea- 
 fight with the Dutch, in 1665. When he first came to England, he 
 bore the name of Durfoi't, and the title of Marquis of Blancfort. In 
 the 24th, Charles 11. he was created Baron Duras of Holdenby, in the 
 county of Northampton; and having married Mary, the eldest daughter 
 and co-heir of Sir George Sondes, of Lees Court, in the county of 
 Kent, who had been created Earl of Feversham, the same title was 
 limited to him, and he succeeded to it on the death of his father-in-law. 
 Besides these honours. King Charles preferred him to the command of 
 
MEMOIKS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 241 
 
 the post of lieutenant of the duke's life guards. Miss Price 
 having tenderly loved him, his death plunged her into a gulf 
 of despair ; but the inventory of his effects had almost de- 
 prived her of her senses : there was in it a certain little box 
 sealed up on all sides : it was addressed in the deceased's own 
 handwriting to Miss Price; but instead of receiving it, she 
 had not even the courage to look upon it. The governess 
 thought it became her in prudence to receive it, on Miss 
 Price's refusal, and her duty to deliver it to the duchess herself, 
 supposing it was filled with many curious and precious com- 
 modities, of which perhaps she might make some advantage. 
 Though the duchess was not altogether of the same opinion, 
 she had the curiosity to see what was contained in a box sealed 
 up in a manner so particularly careful, and therefore caused 
 it to be opened in the presence of some ladies, who happened 
 then to be in her closet. 
 
 All kinds of love trinkets were found in it ; and all these fa- 
 vours, it appeared, came from the tender-hearted Miss Price. 
 It was difficult to comprehend how a single person could have 
 furnished so great a collection ; for, besides counting the pic- 
 tures, there was hair of all descriptions, wrought into bracelets, 
 lockets, and into a thousand other different devices, wonderful 
 to see. After these were three or four packets of letters, of 
 
 the third troop of horse guards, afterwards promoted him to the second, 
 and then to the first. In 1679, he was made master of the horse to 
 Queen Katharine, and afterwards lord-chamberlain to her majesty. 
 Upon King James's accession he was admitted into the privy council, and 
 was commander-in-chief of the forces sent against the Duke of Mon- 
 mouth. After the revolution, he continued lord -chamberlain to the 
 queen-dowager, and master of the royal college of St. Kalherine's, near 
 the Tower. He died April 8th, 1709, aged 68, and was buried in the 
 Savoy, in the Strand, London; but removed, March 21st, 1740, to West- 
 minster Abbey. 
 
 16 
 
242 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 SO tender a nature, and so full of raptures and languors so 
 naturally expressed, that the duchess could not endure the 
 reading of any more than the two first. 
 
 Her royal highness was sorry that she had caused the box 
 to be opened in such good company ; for being before such 
 witnesses, she rightly judged it was impossible to stifle this 
 adventure ; and, at the same time, there being no possibility 
 of retaining any longer such a maid of honour, Miss Price had 
 her valuables restored to her, with orders to go and finish her 
 lamentations, or to console herself for the loss of her lover, in 
 some other place. 
 
 Miss Hobart's character was at that time as uncommon in 
 England, as her person was singular, in a country where, to be 
 young, and not to be in some degree handsome, is a reproach ; 
 she had a good shape, rather a bold air, and a gr^at deal of 
 wit, which was well cultivated, without having much discre- 
 tion. She was likewise possessed of a great deal of vivacity, 
 with an irregular fancy : there was a great deal of fire in her "" 
 eyes, which, however, produced no effect upon the beholders : ' 
 and she had a tender heart, whose sensibility some pretended 
 was alone in favour of the fair sex. 
 
 Miss Bagot"^ was the first that gained her tenderness and 
 
 * Elizabeth, daughter of Hervey Bagot, second son of Sir Hervey ' 
 Bagot. She married first Charles Berkley, Earl of Falmouth, and, 
 after his death, Charles Sackville, who became the first Duke of Dor- 
 set. From the pen of a satirist much dependence is not to be placed 
 for the truth of facts. This lady's character is treated by Dryden and 
 Mulgrave with very little respect, in the following lines, extracted 
 from '• The Essay on Satire :" 
 
 " Thus Dorset, purring like a thoughtful cat, 
 Married ; but wiser puss ne'er thought of that : 
 And first he worried her with railing rhyme, 
 Like Pembroke's mastiffs at his kindest time ; 
 Then for one night sold all his slavish life, 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAJVIMONT. 243 
 
 affection, which she returned at first with equal warmth and 
 sincerity ; but perceiving that all her friendship was insuffi- 
 cient to repay that of Miss Hobart, she yielded the conquest 
 to the governess's niece, who thought herself as much honoured 
 by it as her aunt thought herself obliged by the care she took 
 of the young girl. 
 
 It was not long before the report, whether true or false, of 
 this singularity, spread through the whole court, where people, 
 being yet so uncivilized as never to have heard of that kind 
 of refinement in love of ancient Greece, imagined that the 
 illustrious Hobart, who seemed so particularly attached to 
 the fair sex, was in reality something more than she appeared 
 to be. 
 
 Satirical ballads soon began to compliment her upon these 
 new attributes ; and upon the insinuations that v/ere therein 
 made, her companions began to fear her. The governess, 
 alarmed at these reports, consulted Lord Eochester upon the 
 danger to which her niece was exposed. She could not have 
 applied to a fitter person : he immediately advised her to take 
 her niece out of the hands of Miss Hobart ; and contrived 
 matters so well that she fell into his own. The duchess, who 
 had too much generosity not to treat as visionary what was 
 imputed to Miss Hobart, and too much justice to condemn 
 her upon the faith of lampoons, removed lier from the society 
 
 A teeming widow, but a barreo wife ; 
 Sweli'd by contact of snch a fulsome toad, 
 He l.igg'd about the matrimonial load ; 
 Till fortune, blindly kind as well as he. 
 Has ill restored bim to his liberty ; 
 Which he would use in his old sneaking way, 
 Drinking all night, and dosing all the day ; 
 Dull as Ned Howard, whom his brisker times 
 Had famed for dulntsj in malicious rhymes." 
 
 16—2 
 
244 . MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 of the maids of honour, to be an attendant upon her own 
 person. 
 
 Miss Bagot was the only one who was really possessed of 
 virtue and beauty among these maids of honour: she had 
 beautiful and regular features, and that sort of brown com- 
 plexion, which, when in perfection, is so particularly fascina- 
 ting, and more especially in England, where it is uncommon. 
 There was an involuntary blush almost continually upon her 
 cheek, without having anything to. blush for. Lord Falmouth 
 cast his eyes upon her : his addresses were better received 
 than those of Miss Hobart, and some time after Cupid raised 
 her from the post of maid of honour to the duchess to a rank 
 which might have been envied by all the young ladies in 
 England, 
 
 The Duchess of York, in order to form her new court, re- 
 solved to see all the young persons that offered themselves, 
 and, without any regard to recommendations, to choose none 
 but the handsomest. 
 
 At the head of this new assembly appeared Miss Jennings 
 and Miss Temple ; and indeed they so entirely eclipsed the 
 other two, that we shall speak of them only. 
 
 Miss Jennings,"^ adorned with all the blooming treasures of 
 
 * This lady was one of the daughters and co-heirs of Eichard 
 Jennings of Sundridge, in the county of Hertford, Esq., and elder 
 sister to the celebrated Duchess of Marlborough. Her name was 
 Frances. She married George Hamilton, mentioned in these Memoirs ; 
 and after his death took to her second husband Eichard Talbot, already 
 mentioned, created Duke of Tyrconnel by James II., whose fortunes 
 he followed. Lord Melfort, secretary to that prince, appears to have 
 conceived no very favourable opinion of this lady ; for in a letter to his 
 master, dated October, 1689, he says, " there is one other thing, if it 
 could be effectuated, were of infinite use ; which is the getting the 
 Duchess of Tyrconnel, for her health, to come into France. I did not 
 know she had been sd well known here as she is ; but the terms they 
 
-PZely J" 
 
 siT^s jie:^:^ :^i[ 1:^ 
 
4 
 
 »' 
 
MEMOIKS OF COUNT GEAMMONT. 245 
 
 youth, had the fairest and brightest complexion that ever was 
 seen : her hair was of a most beauteous flaxen : there was 
 something particularly lively and animated in her countenance, 
 which preserved her from that insipidity which is frequently 
 an attendant on a complexion so extremely fair. Her mouth 
 was not the smallest, but it was the handsomest mouth in the 
 world. N'ature had endowed her with all those charms which 
 cannot be expressed, and the graces had given the finishing 
 stroke to them. The turn of her face was exquisitely fine, 
 and her swelling neck was as fair and as bright as her face. In 
 a word, her person gave the idea of Aurora, or the goddess of 
 the spring, " such as youthful poets fancy when they love." 
 But as it would have been unjust that a single person should 
 have engrossed all the treasures of beauty without any defect, 
 there was something wanting in her hands and arms to render 
 them worthy of the rest : her nose was not the most elegant, 
 and her eyes gave some relief, whilst her mouth and her other 
 charms pierced the heart with a thousand darts. 
 
 With this amiable person she was full of wit and sprightli- 
 ness, and all her actions and motions were unaffected and easy: 
 her conversation was bewitching, when she had a mind to 
 
 give her, and which, for your service, I may repeat unto you, is, that 
 she has {Udme la 'plus noire qui se puisse concevoir). I think it would 
 help to keep that peace so necessary for you, and prevent that cabal- 
 ling humour which has very ill effects." — Macpherson^s State Papers, 
 vol. i. In 1699 she is mentioned in a letter from the Earl of Man- 
 chester to Lord Jersey, as one of the needy Jacobites of King James's 
 court, to whom 3,000 crowns, part of that monarch's pension, had been 
 distributed. — Coles's State Papers, p. 53. In 1705 she was in Eng- 
 land, and had an interview with her brother-in-law, the Duke of 
 Marlborough, with whose family she seems not to have lived in any 
 terms of cordiality. — Macpherson, vol. i. In the latter part of her 
 life she resided in Ireland, and died there, 6th March, 1730-1, at a very 
 advanced age,— She was buried in the cathedral of St. Patrick's. 
 
246 MEMOIKS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 please ; piercing and delicate wlien disposed to raillery ; but 
 as her imagination -vvas subject to flights, and as she began to 
 s]3eak frequently before she had done tliinking, her expressions 
 did not always convey a\1i at she wished; sometimes exceeding, 
 and at others falling short of her ideas. 
 
 Miss Temple,"^ nearly of the same age, was brown compared 
 with the other : she had a good sliape, fine teeth, languishing 
 eyes, a fresh complexion, an agreeable smile, and a lively air. 
 Such was the outw^ard form ; but it w^ould be difficult to de- 
 scribe the rest ; for she was simple and vain, credulous and 
 suspicious, coquettish and prudent, very self-sufficient and 
 very silly. 
 
 As soon as these ncAv stars appeared at the duchess's court, 
 all eyes were fixed upon them, and every one formed some 
 design upon one or other of them, some with honourable, and 
 others with dishonest intentions. Miss Jennings soon distin- 
 guished lierseK, and left her companions no other admirers 
 but such as remained constant from hopes of success : her 
 brilliant charms attracted at first sight, and the charms of her 
 wit secured her conquests. 
 
 The Duke of York having persuaded himseK that she was 
 part of Ms property, resolved to pursue his claim by the same 
 title whereby his brother had appropriated to liimself the 
 favours of Miss Wells ; but he did not find her inclined to 
 enter into his service, though she had engaged in that of the 
 duchess. She would not pay any attention to the perpetual 
 
 "'■ Anne, daughter of Thomas Temple of Trankton, in the county of 
 Warwick ; by Eebecca, daughter of Sir Nicholas Carew, of Beddiugton, 
 in Surrey, knight. She afterwards became the second wife of Sir 
 Charles Lyttelton, by whom she had five sons, and eight daughters. 
 She was grandmother of the first Lord Lyttelton ; and died 27th 
 August, 1718. Her husband, Sir Charles Lyttelton, lived to the 
 advanced age of 86 years ; and died at Hagley, May 2d, 1716. 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 247 
 
 Ogling with which he at first attacked her. Her eyes were 
 always wandering on other objects, when those of his royal 
 highness were looking for them ; and if by chance he caught 
 any casual glance, she did not even blush. This made him 
 resolve to change his manner of attack : ogling having proved 
 ineffectual, he took an opportunity to speak to her ; and this 
 was still worse. I know not in what strain he told his case ; 
 but it is certain the oratory of the tongue was not more pre- 
 vailing than the eloquence of his eyes. 
 
 Miss Jennings had both virtue and pride, and the proposals 
 of the duke were consistent with neither the one nor the other. 
 Although from her great vivacity one might suppose that she 
 was not capable of much reflection, yet she had furnished her- 
 self with some very salutary maxims for the conduct of a 
 young person of her age. The first was, that a lady ought to 
 be young to enter the court with advantage, and not old to 
 leave it with a good grace : that she could not maintain her- 
 self there but by a glorious resistance, or by illustrious foibles : 
 and that, in so dangerous a situation, she ought to use her ut- 
 most endeavours not to dispose of her heart until she gave 
 lier hand. 
 
 Entertaining such sentiments, she had far less trouble to 
 resist the duke's temptations, than to disengage herself from 
 his perseverance : she was deaf to all treaties for a settlement, 
 with which her ambition was sounded : and all offers of pre- 
 sents succeeded still worse. What was then to be done to 
 conquer an extravagant virtue that would not hearken to 
 reason ? He was ashamed to suffer a giddy young girl to 
 escape, whose inclinations ought in some manner to correspond 
 with the vivacity that shone forth in all her actions, and who 
 nevertheless thought proper to be serious when no such thing 
 as seriousness was required of her. 
 
248 MEMOIKS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 After he had attentively considered her obstinate behaviour, 
 he thought that writing might perhaps succeed, though ogling, 
 speeches, and embassies had failed. Paper receives everything, 
 but it unfortunately happened that she would not receive the 
 paper. Every day billets, containing the tenderest expressions, 
 and most magnificent promises, were slipped into her pockets, 
 or into her muff: this, however, could not be done unper- 
 ceived ; and the malicious little gipsy took care that those Avhc 
 saw them slip in, should likewise see them faU out, unperused 
 and unopened ; she only shook her muff, or pulled out her 
 handkerchief ; as soon as ever his back was turned, his billets 
 fell about her like hail-stones, and whoever pleased might take 
 them up. The duchess was frequently a witness of this con- 
 duct, but could not find in her heart to chide her for her want 
 of respect to the duke. After this, the charms and prudence of 
 Miss Jennings were the only subjects of conversation in the 
 two courts : the courtiers could not comprehend how a young- 
 creature, brought directly from the country to court, should 
 so soon become its ornament by her attractions, and its ex- 
 ample by her conduct. 
 
 The king was of opinion that those who had attacked her 
 had ill-concerted their measures ; for he thought it unnatural 
 that she should neither be tempted by promises, nor gained by 
 importunity : she, especially, who in all probability had not 
 imbibed such severe precepts from the prudence of her mother, 
 who had never tasted any thing more delicious than the plums 
 and apricots of Saint Albans."* Being resolved to try her 
 himself, he was particularly pleased with the great novelty 
 that appeared in the turn of her wit, and in the charms of her 
 person ; and curiosity, which at first induced him to make the 
 
 * This town is in the neighbourhood of Sundridge, where Miss 
 Jennings's family resided. 
 
i>i[ ]r .^ s T 1?: rvK IP x.^ 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 249 
 
 trial, was soon changed into a desire of succeeding in the ex- 
 periment. God knows what might have been the consequence, 
 for he greatly excelled in wit, and besides he was king : two 
 qualities of no small consideration. The resolutions of the 
 fair Jennings were commendable, and very judicious ; but yet 
 she was wonderfully pleased with wit; and royal majest}^ 
 prostrate at the feet of a young person, is very persuasive. 
 Miss Stewart, however, would not consent to the king's project. 
 She immediately took the alarm, and desired his majesty to 
 leave to the duke, his brother, the care of tutoring the duchess's 
 maids of honour, and only to attend to the management of 
 his own flock, unless his majesty would in return allow her 
 to listen to certain proposals of a settlement which she did 
 not think disadvantageous. This menace being of a serious 
 nature, the king obeyed ; and Miss Jennings had all the ad- 
 ditional honour which arose from this adventure: it both 
 ^dded to her reputation, and increased the number of her 
 admirers. Thus she continued to triumph over the liberties 
 of others without ever losing her own: her hour was not yet 
 come, but it was not far distant ; the particulars of which we 
 shall relate as soon as we have given some account of the 
 conduct of her companion. 
 
 ^ Though Miss Temple's person was particularly engaging, it 
 was nevertheless eclipsed by that of Miss Jennings ; but she 
 was still more excelled by the other's superior mental ac- 
 complishments. Two persons, very capable to impart under- 
 standing, had the gift been communicable, undertook at the 
 same time to rob her of the little she really possessed : these 
 were Lord Eochester and Miss Hobart: the first began to 
 mislead her by reading to her all his compositions, as if she 
 alone had been a proper judge of them. He never thought 
 proper to flatter her upon her personal accomplishments ; but 
 
250 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 told her that if heaven had made him susceptible of the im- 
 pressions of beauty, it would not have been possible for him 
 to have escaped her chains; but not being, thank God, 
 affected with anything but wit, he had the happiness of en- 
 joying the most agreeable conversation in the world without 
 running any risk. After so sincere a confession he either 
 presented to her a copy of verses, or a new song, in which 
 whoever dared to come in competition in any respect with 
 Miss Temple was laid prostrate before her charms, most 
 humbly to solicit pardon : such flattering insinuations so 
 completely turned her head that it was a pity to see her. 
 
 The duchess took notice of it, and well knowing the extent 
 of both their geniuses, she saw the precipice into which the 
 poor girl was running headlong without perceiving it ; but as 
 it is no less dangerous to forbid a connection that is not yet 
 thought of, than it is difficult to put an end to one that is 
 already well established. Miss Hobart was charged to take 
 care, with all possible discretion, that these frequent and long 
 conversations might not be attended with any dangerous con- 
 sequences : with pleasure she accepted the commission, and 
 greatly flattered herself with success. 
 
 She had already made all necessary advances to gain pos- 
 session of her confidence and friendship ; and Miss Temple, 
 less suspicious of her than of Lord Eochester, made all 
 imaginable returns. She was greedy of praise, and loved all 
 manner of sweetmeats, as much as a child of nine or ten 
 years old : her taste was gratified in both these respects. 
 Miss Hobart having the superintendence of the duchess's 
 baths, her apartment joined them, in which there was a closet 
 stored with all sorts of sweetmeats and liqueurs : the closet 
 suited Miss Temple's taste, as exactly as it gratified Miss 
 Hobart's inclination, to have something that could allure her. 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 251 
 
 Summer, being now returned, brought back with it the 
 pleasures and diversions that are its inseparable attendants. 
 One day, when the ladies had been taking the air on horse- 
 back, Miss Temple, on her return from riding, alighted at 
 Miss Hobart's, in order to recover her fatigue at the expense 
 of the sweetmeats, which she knew were there at her service ; 
 but before she began she desired Miss Hobart's permission to 
 undress herself, and change her linen in her apartment ; which 
 request was immediately complied with : " I was just going 
 to propose it to you," said Miss Hobart, " not but that you 
 are as charming as an angel in your riding habit ; but there 
 is nothing so comfortable as a loose dress, and being at one's 
 ease : you cannot imagine, my dear Temple," continued she, 
 embracing her, " how much you oblige me by this free un- 
 ceremonious conduct; but, above all, I am enchanted with 
 your particular attention to cleanliness: how greatly you 
 differ in this, as in many other things, from that silly creature 
 Jennings ! Have you remarked how all our court fops admire 
 her for her brilliant complexion, which perhaps, after all, is 
 not wholly her own ; and for blunders, which are truly original, 
 and which they are such fools as to mistake for wit : I have 
 not conversed with her long enough to perceive in what her 
 wit consists ; but of this I am certain, that if it is not better 
 than her feet, it is no great matter. What stories have I 
 heard of her sluttishness ! 1:^0 cat ever dreaded water so 
 much as she does : fie upon h^r ! Il^ever to wash for her own 
 comfort, and only to attend to those parts which must neces- 
 sarily be seen, such as the neck and hands." 
 
 . Miss Temple swallowed all this with even greater pleasure 
 than the sweetmeats ; and the officious Hobart, not to lose 
 time, was helping her off with her clothes, while the chamber- 
 maid was coming. She made some objections to this at first, 
 
252 MEMOIKS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 being unwilling to occasion that trouble to a person, who, 
 like Miss Hobart, had been advanced to a place of dignity ; 
 but she was overruled by her, and assured that it was with 
 the greatest pleasure she showed her that small mark of 
 civility. The collation being finished, and Miss Temple un- 
 dressed : " Let us retire," said Miss Hobart, " to the bathing- 
 closet, where we may enjoy a little conversation secure from 
 any impertinent visit." Miss Temple consented, and both of 
 them sitting down on a couch : " You are too young, my dear 
 Temple," said she, " to know the baseness of men in general, 
 and too short a time acquainted with the court to know the 
 character of its inhabitants. I will give you a short sketch 
 of the principal persons, to the best of my knowledge, without 
 injury to any one ; for I abominate the trade of scandal. 
 
 " In the first place, then, you ought to set it down as an 
 undoubted fact that all courtiers are deficient either in honesty, 
 good sense, judgment, wit, or sincerity ; that is to say, if any 
 of them by chance possess some one of these qualities, you 
 may depend upon it he is defective in the rest : sumptuous in 
 their equipages, deep play, a great opinion of their own merit, 
 and contempt of that of others, are their chief characteristics. 
 
 " Interest or pleasure are the motives of all their actions : 
 those who are led by the first would seU God Almighty, as 
 Judas sold his Master, and that for less money. I could relate 
 you a thousand noble instances of this, if I had time. As for 
 the sectaries of pleasure, or those who pretend to be such, for 
 they are not all so bad as they endeavour to make themselves 
 appear, these gentlemen pay no manner of regard either to 
 promises, oaths, law, or religion; that is to say, they are 
 literally no respecters of persons ; they care neither for God nor 
 man, if they can but gain their ends. They look upon maids 
 of honour only as amusements, placed expressly at court for 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT, 25^ 
 
 their entertainment ; and the more merit any one has, the more 
 she is exposed to their impertinence, if she gives any ear to 
 them ; and to their malicious calumnies, when she ceases to 
 attend to them. As for husbands, this is not the place to find 
 them ; for unless money or caprice make up the match, there 
 is but little hopes of being married : virtue and beauty in this 
 respect here are equally useless. Lady Falmouth is the only 
 instance of a maid of honour well married without a portion ; 
 and if you were to ask her poor weak husband for what reason 
 he married her, I am persuaded that he can assign none, unless 
 it be her great red ears and broad feet. As for the pale Lady 
 Yarborough, who appeared so proud of her match, she is wife, 
 to be sure, of a great country bumpkin, who, the very week 
 after their marriage, bid her take her farewell of the town for 
 ever, in consequence of five or six thousand pounds a year he 
 enjoys on the borders of Cornwall. Alas ! poor Miss Blague I 
 I saw her go away about this time twelvemonth, in a coach 
 with four such lean horses, that I cannot believe she is yet 
 half way to her miserable little castle. What can be the 
 matter ! all the girls seem afflicted with the rage of wedlock, 
 and however small their portion of charms may be, they think 
 it only necessary to show themselves at court in order to pick 
 and choose their men : but was this in reality the case, the 
 being a wife is the most wretched condition imaginable for a 
 person of nice sentiments. Believe me, my dear Temple, the 
 pleasures of matrimony are so inconsiderable in comparison 
 with its inconveniences, that I cannot imagine how any reason- 
 able creature can resolve upon it : rather fly, therefore, from 
 this irksome engagement than court it. Jealousy, formerly 
 a stranger to these happy isles, is now coming into fashion, 
 with many recent examples of which you are acquainted. 
 However brilliant the phantom may appear, suffer not yourself 
 
254 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 to be caught by its splendour, and never be so weak as to 
 transform your slave into your tjrrant : as long as you preserve 
 your own liberty, you will be mistress of tliat of others. I 
 will relate to you a very recent proof of the perfidy of man to 
 our sex, and of the impunity they experience in all attempts 
 upon our innocence. The Earl of Oxford fell in love with a 
 handsome, graceful actress belonging to the duke's theatre,* 
 who performed to perfection, particularly the part of Eoxana, 
 in a very fashionable new play, insomuch that she ever after 
 retained that name : this creature being both very virtuous 
 and very modest, or, if you please, wonderfully obstinate, 
 proudly rejected the addresses and presents of the Earl of 
 Oxford. This resistance inflamed his passion : he had recourse 
 to invectives, and even to spells ; but all in vain. This disap- 
 pointment had such effect upon him that he could neither 
 eat nor drink ; this did not signify to him; but his passion 
 
 t This was Aubrey de Vere, the last Earl of Oxford of that name, 
 and the twentieth and last earl of that family. He was chief justice 
 in eyre ; and in the reign of Charles II. lord of the bed-chamber, privy 
 councillor, colonel of the royal regiment of horse guards, and lord- 
 lieutenant of the county of Essex ; and lieutenant-general of the forces 
 in the reign of William III., and also knight of the garter. He died 
 March 12th, 1702, aged 80 years, and upwards, and was buried in 
 Westminster-abbey. The author of a History of the English Stage, 
 published by Curl, 1741, 8vo., says, that Mrs. Marshall, a celebrated 
 actress, more known by the name of Eoxana, from acting that part, was 
 the person deceived by the Earl of Oxford in this manner. The parti- 
 culars of the story, as there related, do not materially vary from the 
 present account of the transaction. A more detailed narrative of this 
 seduction is given in Madame Dunois's Memoirs of the Court of England, 
 part 2. p. 71. Mrs. Marshall, who was the original Eoxana in Lee's 
 Eival Queens, belonged not to the duke's, but the king's theatre. 
 Lord Orford, I know not on what authority, has given the name of 
 Mrs. Barker to this lady ; a name totally unknown, I believe, in the 
 annals of the stage. 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 255 
 
 at length became so violent, that he could neither play nor 
 smoke. In this extremity love had recourse to Hymen ; 
 the Earl of Oxford, one of the first peers of the realm, 
 is, you know, a very handsome man : he is of the order 
 of the garter, which greatly adds to an air naturally noble. In 
 short, from his outward appearance, you would suppose he was 
 really possessed of some sense ; but as soon as ever you hear 
 him speak, you are perfectly convinced of the contrary. 
 This passionate lover presented her with a promise of mar- 
 riage, in due form, signed with his own hand : she would 
 not, however, rely upon this, but the next day she thought 
 there could be no danger, when the earl himself came 
 to her lodgings attended by a clergyman, and another man 
 for a witness : the marriage was accordingly solemnized 
 with all due ceremonies, in the presence of one of her fellow- 
 players, who attended as a witness on her part. You will sup- 
 pose, perhaps, that the new countess had nothing, to do but to 
 appear at court according to her rank, and to display the earl's 
 arms upon her carriage. This was far from being the case. 
 "\¥hen examination was made concerning the marriage, it was 
 found to be a mere deception : it appeared that the pretended 
 priest was one of my lord's trumpeters, and the witness his 
 kettle drummer. The parson and his companion never ap- 
 peared after the ceremony was over ; and as for tlie other wit- 
 ness, they endeavoured to persuade her,thajb the Sultana Eoxana 
 might have supposed, in some part or other of a play, that she 
 Fas really married. It was all to no purpose, that the poor 
 creature claimed the protection of the laws of God and man, 
 both which were violated and abused, as well as herself, by 
 this infamous imposition : in vain did she throw herself at the 
 King's feet to demand justice : she had only to rise up again 
 without redress ; and happy might she think herself to receive 
 
256 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 an annuity of one tliousand crowns, and to resume the name 
 of Eoxana, instead of Countess of Oxford. You will say, per- 
 haps, that she was only a player ; that all men have not the 
 same sentiments as the earl ; and, that one may at least be- 
 lieve them, when they do but render justice to such merit as 
 yours. But still do not believe them, though I know you are 
 liable to it, as you have admirers ; for all are not infatuated 
 with Miss Jennings : the handsome Sydney ogles you ; Lord 
 Eochester is delighted with your conversation; and the most 
 
 serious Sir Lyttleton forsakes his natural gravity in 
 
 favour of your charms. As for the first, I confess his figure is 
 very likely to engage the inclinations of a young person like 
 yourself ; but were his outward form attended with other ac- 
 complishments, which I know it is not, and that his sentiments 
 in your favour were as real as he endeavours to persuade you 
 they are, and as you deserve, yet I would not advise you to 
 form any connections with him, for reasons which I cannot 
 tell you at present. 
 
 " Sir Lyttleton"^ is undoubtedly in earnest, since he 
 
 appears ashamed of the condition to which you have reduced 
 him ; and I really believe if he could get the better of those 
 vulgar chimerical apprehensions, of being what is vulgarly 
 called a cuckold, the good man would marry you, and you 
 would be his representative in his little government, where 
 you might merrily pass your days in casting up the weekly 
 bills of housekeeping, and in darning old napkins. What a 
 glory would it be to have a Cato for a husband, whose 
 speeches are as many lectures, and whose lectures are com- 
 posed of nothing but illnature and censure ! 
 
 " Lord Eochester is, without contradiction, the most witty 
 man in all England ; but then he is likewise the most unprin- 
 * Sir Charles Lyttelton : of whom see Note on p. 246. 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 257 
 
 cipled, and devoid even of the least tincture of honour ; he is 
 •dangerous to our sex alone ; and that to such a degree that 
 there is not a woman who gives ear to him three times, but 
 she irretrievably loses her reputation. N"o woman can escape 
 him, for he has her in his writings, though his other attacks 
 be ineffectual ; and in the age we live in, the one is as bad as 
 the other in the eye of the public. In the mean time nothing 
 is more dangerous than the artful insinuating manner with 
 which he gains possession of the mind: he applauds your 
 taste, submits to your sentiments, and at the very instant that 
 he himself does not believe a single word of what he is saying, 
 he makes you believe it all. I dare lay a wager, that from the 
 conversation you have had with him, you thought him one of 
 the most honourable and sincerest men living ; for my part I 
 cannot imagine what he means by the assiduity he pays you : 
 not but your accomplishments are sufficient to excite the 
 adoration and praise of the whole world ; but had he even 
 been so fortunate as to have gained your affections, he would 
 not know what to do with the loveliest creature at court : for 
 it is a long time since his debauches have brought him to 
 order, with the assistance of the favours of all the common 
 street-walkers. See then, my dear Temple, what horrid malice 
 possesses him, to the ruin and confusion of innocence ! A 
 wretch ! to have no other design in his addresses and assidu- 
 ities to Miss Temple, but to give a greater air of probability 
 to the calumnies with which he has loaded her. You look 
 upon me with astonishment, and seem to doubt the truth of 
 what I advance ; but I do not desire you to believe me with- 
 out evidence : ' Here,' said she, drawing a paper out of her 
 pocket, ' see what a copy of verses he has made in your praise, 
 while he lulls your credulity to rest, by flattering speeches and 
 feigned respect.' " 
 
 17 
 
258 MEMOIKS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 After saying this, the perfidious Hobart showed her half-a- 
 dozen couplets full of strained invective and scandal, which 
 Eochester had made against the former maids of honour. This 
 severe and cutting lampoon was principally levelled against 
 Miss Price, whose person he took to pieces in the most frightful 
 and liideous manner imaginable. Miss Hobart had substituted 
 the name of Temple instead of Price, which she made to agree 
 both with the measure and tune of the song. Tliis effectually 
 answered Hobart's intentions : the credulous Temple no sooner 
 heard her sing the lampoon, but she firmly believed it to be 
 made upon herself ; and "i the first transports of her rage, 
 having nothing so much at heart as to give the lie to the 
 fictions of the poet : " Ah 1 as for this, my dear Hobart," said 
 she, "I can bear it no longer: I do not pretend to be so hand- 
 some as some others ; but as for the defects that villain charges 
 me with, I dare say, my dear Hobart, there is no woman more 
 free from them : we are alone, and I am almost inclined to 
 convince you by ocular demonstration." Miss Hobart was too 
 complaisant to oppose this motion ; but, although she soothed 
 her mind by extolling all her beauties, in opposition to Lord 
 Eochester's song. Miss Temple was almost driven to distrac- 
 tion by rage and astonishment, that the first man she ever 
 attended to should, in liis conversation with her, not even 
 make use of a single word of truth, but that he should likewise 
 have the unparalleled cruelty falsely to accuse her of defects ; 
 and not being able to find words capable of expressing her 
 anger and resentment, she began to weep like a child. 
 
 Miss Hobart used all her endeavours to comfort her, and 
 chid her for being so much hurt with the invectives of a person 
 whose scandalous impostures were too well known to make 
 any impression : she however advised her never to speak to 
 him any more, for that was the only method to disappoint his 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 259 
 
 designs ; that contempt and silence were, on such occasions, 
 much preferable to any explanation, and that if he could once 
 obtain a hearing, he would be justified, but she would be 
 ruined. 
 
 Miss Hobart was not wrong in giving her this counsel : she 
 knew that an explanation would betray her, and that there 
 would be no quarter for her if Lord Eochester had so fair an 
 opportunity of renewing his former panegyrics upon her ; but 
 her precaution was in vain : this conversation had been heard 
 from one end to the other, by the governess's niece, who was 
 blessed with a most faithful memory ; and having that very 
 day an appointment with Lord Eochester, she conned it over 
 three or four times, that she might not forget one single word, 
 when she should have the honour of relating it to her lover. 
 We shall show in the next chapter, what were the consequences 
 resulting from it. 
 
 17—2 
 
260 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 The conversation "before related was agreeable only to Miss 
 Hobart; for if Miss Temple was entertained with its com- 
 mencement, she was so mticb the more irritated by its con- 
 clusion : this indignation was succeeded by the curiosity of 
 knowing the reason why, if Sidney had a real esteem for her, 
 she should not be allowed to pay some attention to him. The 
 tender-hearted Hobart, unable to refuse her any request, pro- 
 mised her this piece of confidence, as soon as she should be 
 secure of her conduct towards Lord Rochester : for this she 
 only desired a trial of her sincerity for three days, after which 
 she assured her, she would acquaint her with everything she 
 wished to know. Miss Temple protested she no longer regarded 
 Lord Rochester but as a monster of perfidiousness, and vowed, 
 by all that was sacred, that she would never listen to him, 
 much less speak to him, as long as she lived. 
 
 As soon as they retired from the closet. Miss Sarah came 
 out of the bath, where, during all this conversation, she had 
 been almost perished with cold, without daring to complain. 
 This little gipsy had, it seems, obtained leave of Miss Hobart's 
 woman to bathe herself unknown to her mistress ; and having, 
 I know not how, found means to fill one of the baths with 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GEAMMONT. 261 
 
 cold water, Miss Sarah had just got into it, when they were 
 both alarmed with the arrival of the other two. A glass par- 
 tition enclosed the room where the baths were, and Indian silk 
 curtains, which drew on the inside, screened those that were 
 bathing. Miss Hobart's chamber-maid had only just time to 
 draw these curtains, that the girl might not be seen to lock 
 the partition door, and to take away the key, before her mistress 
 and Miss Temple came in. 
 
 These two sat down on a couch placed along the partition, 
 and Miss Sarah, notwithstanding her alarms, had distinctly 
 heard,~and perfectly retained the whole conversation. As the 
 little girl was at all this trouble to make herself clean, only on 
 Lord Eochester's account, as soon as ever she could make her 
 escape she regained her garret ; where Eochester, having re- 
 paired thither at the appointed hour, was fully informed of all 
 that had passed in the bathing-room. He was astonished at 
 the audacious temerity of Hobart, in daring to put such a 
 trick upon him ; but, though he rightly judged that love and 
 jealousy were the real motives, he would not excuse her. 
 Little Sarah desired to know whether he had a real affection 
 for Miss Temple, as Miss Hobart said she supposed that was 
 the case. " Can you doubt it," replied he, " since that oracle 
 of sincerity has af&rmed it ? But then you know that I am 
 not now capable of profiting by my perfidy, were I even to 
 gain Miss Temple's compliance, since my debauches and the 
 street- walkers have brought me to order." 
 
 This answer made Miss Sarah very easy, for she concluded 
 that the first article was not true, since she knew from expe- 
 rience that the latter was false. Lord Eochester was resolved 
 that very evening to attend the duchess's court, to see what 
 reception he would meet with after the fine portrait Miss 
 Hobart had been so kind as to draw of him. Miss Temple 
 
262 MEMOIES OF COUNT GKAMMONT. 
 
 did not fail to be there likewise, with the intention of looking^ 
 on him with the most contemptuous disdain possible, though 
 she had taken care to dress herself as well as she could. 
 As she supposed that the lampoon Miss Hobart had sung to 
 her was in everybody's possession, she was under great em- 
 barrassment lest all those whom she met should think her 
 such a monster as Lord Eochester had described her. In the 
 mean time, Miss Hobart, who had not much confidence in 
 her promises never more to speak to him, narrowly watched 
 her. Miss Temple never in her life appeared so handsome : 
 every person complimented her upon it ; but she received all 
 the civilities with such an air, that every one thought she was 
 mad ; for when they commended her shape, her fresh com- 
 plexion, and the brilliancy of her eyes : " Pshaw," said she, 
 " it is very well known that I am but a monster, and formed in 
 no respect like other women : all is not gold that glisters ; and 
 though I may receive some compliments in public, it signifies 
 nothing." All Miss Hobart's endeavours to stop her tongue 
 were ineffectual ; and continuing to rail at herself ironically, 
 the whole court was puzzled to comprehend her meaning. 
 
 When Lord Eochester came in, she first blushed, then turned 
 pale, made a motion to go towards him, drew back again, pulled 
 her gloves one after the other up to the elbow ; and after 
 having three times violently flirted her fan, she waited until he 
 paid his compliments to her as usual, and as soon as he began 
 to bow, the fair one immediately turned her back upon him. 
 Eochester only smiled, and being resolved that her resentment 
 should be still more remarked, he turned round and posting 
 himself face to face : " Madam," said he, " nothing can be so 
 glorious as to look so charming as you do, after such a fatiguing 
 day: to support a ride of three long hours, and Miss Hobart 
 afterwards, without being tired, shows indeed a very strong 
 constitution." 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 263 
 
 Miss Temple had naturally a tender look, but she was 
 transported with such a violent passion at his having the 
 audacity to speak to her, that her eyes appeared like two fire- 
 balls when she turned them upon him. Hobart pinched her 
 arm, as she perceived that this look was likely to be followed 
 by a torrent of reproaches and invectives. 
 
 Lord Eochester did not wait for them, and delaying until 
 another opportunity the acknowledgments he owed Miss 
 Hobart, he quietly retired. The latter, who could not imagine 
 that he knew anything of their conversation at the bath, was, 
 however, much alarmed at what he had said ; but Miss 
 Temple, almost choked with the reproaches with which she 
 thought herself able to confound him and which she had not 
 time to give vent to, vowed to ease her mind of them upon the 
 first opportunity, notwithstanding the promise she had made; 
 but never more to speak to him afterwards. 
 
 Lord Eochester had a faithful spy near these nymphs : this 
 was Miss Sarah, who, by his advice, and with her aunt's 
 consent, was reconciled with Miss Hobart, the more effectually 
 to betray her : he was informed by this spy, that Miss Hobart's 
 maid, being suspected of having listened to them in the closet, 
 had been turned away ; that she had taken another, whom in 
 all probability, she would not keep long, because, in the first 
 place, she was ugly, and, in the second, she eat the sweetmeats 
 that were prepared for Miss Temple. Although this intelli- 
 gence was not very material, Sarah was nevertheless praised 
 for her punctuality and attention ; and a few days afterwards 
 she brought him news of real importance. 
 
 Eochester was by her informed, that Miss Hobart and her 
 new favourite designed, about nine o'clock in the evening to 
 walk in the Mall, in the Park ; that they were to change 
 clothes with each other, to put on scarfs, and wear black 
 
264 MEMOIES OF COUNT GEAMMONT. 
 
 masks : slie added, that Miss Hobart had strongly opposed 
 this project, but that she was obliged to give way at last, Liiss 
 Temple having resolved to indulge her fancy. 
 
 Upon the strength oi this intelligence, Eochester concerted 
 liis measures : he went to Killegrew, complained to liim of 
 the trick which Miss Hobart had played him, and desired his 
 assistance in order to be revenged : this was readily gxanted, 
 and having acquainted him witli the measures he intended to 
 pursue, and given him the part he was to act in this adven- 
 ture, they went to the Mall. 
 
 Presently after appeared our two nymphs in masquerade ; 
 their shapes were not very different, and their faces, which 
 were very imlike each other, were concealed with their masks. 
 The company was but thin in the Park ; and as soon as Miss 
 Temple perceived them at a distance, she quickened her pace 
 in order to join them, with the design, under her disguise,, 
 severely to reprimand the perfidious Eochester ; when Miss 
 Hobart stopping her : " Where are you running to ?" said she ; 
 " have you a mind to engage in conversation with these two 
 devils, to be exposed to all the insolence and impertinence for 
 wliich they are so notorious ?" These remonstrances were 
 entirely useless : Miss Temple was resolved to try the expe- 
 riment : and all that could be obtained from her, was, not to 
 answer any of the questions Eochester might ask her. 
 
 They were accosted just as they had done speaking : Eoches- 
 ter fixed upon Hobart, pretending to take her for the other ; at 
 which she was overjoyed ; but Miss Temple was extremely 
 sorry she fell to Killegrew's share, with whom she had notliing 
 to do : he perceived her uneasiness, and, pretending to know 
 her by her clothes : "Ah ! Miss Hobart," said he, " be so kind 
 as look this way if you please : I know not by what chance 
 you both came hither, but I am sure it is very apropos fo7 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GEAMMONT. 265 
 
 you, since I have something to say to you, as your friend and 
 humble servant." 
 
 This beginning raising her curiosity, Miss Temple appeared 
 more inclined to attend him ; and Killegrew perceiving that 
 the other couple had insensibly proceeded some distance from 
 them : " In the name of God," said he : " what do you mean 
 by railing so against Lord Eochester, whom you know to be 
 one of the most honourable men at court, and whom you 
 nevertheless described as the greatest villain, to the person 
 whom of all others he esteems and respects the most ? What 
 do you think would become of you, if he knew that you made 
 Miss Temple believe she is the person alluded to in a certain 
 song, which you know as well as myself was made upon the 
 clumsy Miss Price, above a year before the fair Temple was 
 heard of ? Be not surprised that I know so much of the 
 matter ; but pay a little attention, I pray you, to what I am 
 now going to tell you out of pure friendship : your passion 
 and inclinations for Miss Temple are known to every one but 
 herself; for whatever methods you used to impose upon her in- 
 nocence, the world does her the justice to believe that she would 
 treat you as Lady Falmouth did, if the poor girl knew the 
 wicked designs you had upon her : I caution you, therefore,, 
 against making any farther advances, to a person, too modest 
 to listen to them: I advise you likewise to take back your 
 maid again, in order to silence her scandalous tongue ; for she 
 says everywhere, that she is with child, that you are the 
 occasion of her being in that condition, and accuses you of 
 behaving towards her with the blackest ingratitude, upon 
 trifling suspicions only : you know very well, these are no 
 stories of my own invention ; but that you may not entertain 
 any manner of doubt, that I had all this from her own mouth,, 
 she has told me your conversation in the bathing-room, the 
 
266 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 characters you there drew of the principal men at court, your 
 artful malice in applying so improperly a scandalous song to 
 one of the loveliest women in all England ; and in what 
 manner the innocent girl fell into the snare you had laid for 
 her, in order to do justice to her charms. But that which 
 might be of the most fatal consequences to you in that long 
 conversation, is the revealing certain secrets, which, in all 
 probability, the duchess did not entrust you with, to be 
 imparted to the maids of honour : reflect upon this, and neg- 
 lect not to make some reparation to Sir Lyttleton, for 
 
 the ridicule with which you were pleased to load him. I 
 know not whether he had his information from your femme- 
 de-chambre, but I am very certain that he has sworn he will 
 be revenged, and he is a man that keeps his word ; for after 
 all, that you may not be deceived by his look, like that of a 
 Stoic, and his gravity, like that of a judge, I must acquaint 
 you, that he is the most passionate man living. Indeed, these 
 invectives are of the blackest and most horrible nature : he 
 says it is most infamous, that a wretch like yourself should 
 find no other employment than to blacken the characters of 
 gentlemen, to gratify your jealousy ; that if you do not desist 
 from such conduct for the future, he will immediately com- 
 plain of you ; and that if her royal highness will not do him 
 justice, he is determined to do himseK justice, and to run you 
 through the body with his own sword, though you were even 
 in the arms of Miss Temple ; and that it is most scandalous 
 that all the maids of honour should get into your hands before 
 they can look around them. 
 
 " These things, madam, I thought it my duty to acquaint 
 you with : you are better able to judge than myself, whether 
 what I have now advanced be true, and I leave it to your 
 own discretion to make what use you think proper of my 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GEAMMONT. 267 
 
 ^advice ; but were I in your situation, I would endeavour to 
 reconcile Lord Eochester and Miss Temple. Once more I 
 recommend to you to take care that your endeavours to mis- 
 lead her innocency, in order to blast his honour, may not 
 come to his knowledge ; and do not estrange from her a man 
 who tenderly loves her, and whose probity is so great, that 
 he would not even suffer his eyes to wander towards her, if 
 his intention was not to make her his wife." 
 
 Miss Temple observed her promise most faithfully during 
 this discourse : she did not even utter a single syllable, being 
 seized with such astonishment and confusion, that she quite 
 lost the use of her tongue. 
 
 Miss Hobart and Lord Eochester came up to her, while she 
 was still in amazement at the wonderful discoveries she had 
 made ; things in themselves, in her opinion, almost incredible, 
 but to the truth of which she could not refuse her assent, 
 upon examining the evidences and circumstances on which 
 they were founded. Never, was confusion equal to that with 
 which her whole frame was seized by the foregoing recital. 
 
 Eochester and Killegrew took leave of them before she 
 recovered from her surprise ; but as soon as she had regained 
 the free use of her senses, she hastened back to St. James, 
 without answering a single question that the other put to 
 her ; and having locked herself up in her chamber, the first 
 thing she did, was immediately to strip off Miss Hobart's 
 clothes, lest she should be contaminated by them ; for after 
 what she had been told concerning her, she looked upon her 
 as a monster, dreadful to the innocence of the fair sex, of 
 whatever sex she might be : she blushed at the familiarities 
 she had been drawn into with a creature, whose maid was 
 with child, though she never had been in any other service 
 lout hers : she therefore returned her all her clothes, ordered 
 
268 MEMOIES OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 lier servant to bring back all lier own, and resolved never 
 more to have any connection mtli lier. Miss Hobart, on the 
 other hand, who supposed Killegrew had mistaken Miss 
 Temple for herself, could not comprehend what could induce 
 her to give herself such surprising airs, since that conver- 
 sation ; but being desirous to come to an explanation, she 
 ordered Miss Temple's maid to remain in her apartments, and 
 went to call upon Miss Temple herself, instead of sending 
 back her clothes ; and being desirous to give her some proof 
 of friendship before they entered upon expostulations, she 
 slipt softly into her chamber, when she was in the very act 
 of changing her linen, and embraced her. Miss Temple 
 finding herself in her arms before she had taken notice of 
 her, everything that Killegrew had mentioned, appeared to 
 her imagination : she fancied that she saw in her looks the 
 eagerness of a satyr, or, if possible, of some monster still 
 more odious ; and disengaging herself with the highest in- 
 dignation from her arms, she began to shriek and cry in the 
 most terrible manner, calling both heaven and earth to her 
 assistance. 
 
 The first whom her cries raised were the governess and 
 her niece. It was near twelve o'clock at night : Miss Temple 
 in her shift, almost frightened to death, was pushing back 
 with horror Miss Hobart, who approached her with no other 
 intent than to know the occasion of those transports. As 
 soon as the governess saw this scene, she began to lecture 
 Miss Hobart with all the eloquence of a real duenna : she 
 demanded of her, whether she thought it was for her that her 
 royal highness kept the maids of honour ? whether she was 
 not ashamed to come at such an unseasonable time of night 
 into their very apartments to commit such violences ? and 
 swore that she would, the very next day, complain to the 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 269 
 
 duchess. All this confirmed Miss Temple in her mistaken 
 notions : and Hobart was obliged to go away at last, without 
 being able to convince or bring to reason creatures, whom she 
 believed to be either distracted or mad. The next day Miss 
 Sarah did not fail to relate this adventure to her lover, 
 telling him how Miss Temple's cries had alarmed the maids 
 of honour's apartment, and how herself and her aunt, run- 
 ning to her assistance, had almost surprised Miss Hobart in 
 the very act. 
 
 Two days after, the whole adventure, with the addition of 
 several embellishments, was made public : the governess 
 swore to the truth of it, and related in every company what 
 Si narrow escape Miss Temple had experienced, and that 
 Miss Sarah, her niece, had preserved her honour, because, by 
 Lord Eochester's excellent advice, she had forbidden her all 
 manner of connection with so dangerous a person. Miss Tem- 
 ple was afterwards informed, that the song that had so greatly 
 provoked her, alluded to Miss Price only : this was confirmed 
 to her by every person, with additional execrations against 
 Miss Hobart, for such a scandalous imposition. Such great 
 coldness after so much familiarity, made many believe, that 
 this adventure was not altogether a fiction. 
 
 This had been sufficient to have disgraced Miss Hobart at 
 court, and to have totally ruined her reputation in London, 
 had she not been, upon the present, as well as upon a former 
 occasion, supported by the duchess : her royal highness pre- 
 tended to treat the whole story as romantic and visionary, or 
 as solely arising from private pique : she chid Miss Temple, 
 for her impertinent credulity : turned away the governess and 
 her niece, for the lies with which she pretended they sup- 
 ported the imposture ; and did many improper things in order 
 to re-establish Miss Hobart's honour, which, however, slie 
 
270 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 failed in accomplishing. She had her reasons for not entirely 
 abandoning her, as will appear in the sequel. 
 
 Miss Temple, who continually reproached herself with in- 
 justice, with respect to Lord Eochester, and who, upon the 
 faith of Killegrew's word, thought him the most honourable 
 man in England, was only solicitous to find out some oppor- 
 tunity of easing her mind, by making him some reparation 
 for the rigour with which she had treated him : these favour- 
 able dispositions, in the hands of a man of his character,, 
 might have led to consequences of which she was not aware ; 
 but heaven did not allow him an opportunity of profiting by 
 them. 
 
 Ever since he had first appeared at court he seldom failed 
 being banished from it, at least once in the year ; for when- 
 ever a word presented itself to his pen, or to his tongue, he 
 immediately committed it to paper, or produced it in conver- 
 sation, without any manner of regard to the consequences : 
 the ministers, the mistresses, and even the king himself, were 
 frequently the subjects of his sarcasms; and had not the 
 prince, whom he thus treated, been possessed of one of the 
 most forgiving and gentle tempers, his first disgrace had cer- 
 tainly been his last. 
 
 Just at the time that Miss Temple was desirous of seeing 
 him, in order to apologize for the uneasiness which the in- 
 famous calumnies and black aspersions of Miss Hobart had 
 occasioned both of them, he was forbid the court for the third 
 time : he departed without having seen Miss Temple, carried 
 the disgraced governess down with him to his country seat, 
 and exerted aU his endeavours to cultivate in her niece some 
 dispositions which she had for the stage ; but though she did 
 not make the same improvement in this line, as she had by 
 his other instructions, after he had entertained both the niece 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 271 
 
 and the aunt for some months in the, country, he got her 
 entered in the king's company of comedians the next winter ;. 
 and the public was obliged to him for the prettiest, but at the 
 same time, the worst actress in the kingdom.* 
 
 * Though no name is given to this lady, there are circumstances 
 enough mentioned to fix on the celebrated Mrs. Barry, as the person 
 intended by the author. Mrs. Barry was introduced to the stage by 
 Lord Eochester, with whom she had an intrigue, the fruit of which was 
 a daughter, who lived to the age of thirteen years, and is often men- 
 tioned in his collection of love-letters, printed in his works, which were 
 written to Mrs. Barry. On her first theatrical attempts, so little hopes 
 were entertained of her, that she was, as Gibber declares, discharged the 
 company at the end of the first year, among others that were thought 
 to be a useless expense to it. She was well born ; being daughter of 
 Robert Barry, Esq., barrister at law ; a gentleman of an ancient family 
 and good estate, who hurt his fortune by his attachment to Charles I. ; 
 for whom he raised a regiment at his own expense. Tony Aston, in his 
 Supplement to Gibber's Apology, says, she was woman to lady Shelton 
 of Norfolk, who might have belonged to the court. Curl, however, says, 
 she was early taken under the patronage of Lady Davenant. Both these 
 accounts may be true. The time of her appearance on the stage was 
 probabl}^ not much earlier that 1671 ; in which year she performed in 
 Tom Essence, and was, it may be conjectured, about the age of nineteen. 
 Curl mentions the great pains taken by Lord Eochester in instructing 
 her ; which were repaid by the rapid progress she daily made in her 
 profession. She at last eclipsed all her competitors, and in the part of 
 Monimia established her reputation. From her performance in this- 
 character, in that of Belvidera, and of Isabella, in the Fatal Marriage, 
 Downes says she acquired the name of the famous Mrs. Barry, both at 
 court and in the city. " Mrs. Barry," says Dryden, in his Preface to 
 Gleomenes^ "always excellent, has in this tragedy excelled herself, and 
 gained a reputation beyond any woman I have ever seen on the 
 theatre." " In characters of greatness," says Gibber, " Mrs. Barry had 
 a presence of elevated dignity ; her mien and motion superb, and grace- 
 fully majestic ; her voice full, clear, and strong ; so that no violence of 
 passion could be too much for her ; and when distress or tenderness 
 possessed her, she subsided into the most affecting melody and softness. 
 In the art of exciting pity, she had a power beyond all the actresses I 
 have yet seen, or what your imagination can conceive. In scenes of 
 
212 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 About this time Talbot returned from Ireland : he soon felt 
 the absence of Miss Hamilton, who was then in the country 
 with a relation, whom we shall mention hereafter. A rem- 
 nant of his former tenderness still subsisted in his heart, not- 
 withstanding his absence, and the promises he had given the 
 €hevalier de Grammont at parting: he now therefore en- 
 deavoured to banish her entirely from his thoughts, by fixing 
 his desires upon some other object; but he saw no one in the 
 queen's new court whom he thought worthy of his attention : 
 
 anger, defiance, or resentment, while she was impetuous and terrible, 
 she poured out the sentiment witli an enchanting harmony ; and it was 
 this particular excellence for which Dryden made her the above-recited 
 compliment, upon her acting Cassandra in his Cleomenes. She was the 
 first person whose merit was distinguished by the indulgence of having 
 an annual benefit play, which was granted to her alone in King James's 
 time, and which did not become common to others till the division of 
 this company, after the death of King "William and Queen Mary/' — 
 Cibher's Apology^ 1750, p. 133. Tony Aston says, " she was not hand- 
 some : her mouth opening most on the right side, which she strove to 
 draw t'other way ; and at times composing her face, as if sitting for 
 her picture : she was," he adds, " middle-sized ; had darkish hair, light 
 eyes, and was indiiferently plump. In tragedy, she was solemn and 
 august ; in comedy, alert, easy, and genteel ; pleasant in her face and 
 action ; filling the stage with variety of gesture. She could neither sing 
 nor dance ; no, not in a country dance." — Supplement to Gibber, p. 7. 
 The printed letters in Otway's works are generally supposed to have 
 been addressed to her. She adhered to Betterton in all the revolutions 
 of the theatre, which she quitted about 1708, on account of her health. 
 The last new character, of any consequence, which she performed, seems 
 to have been Phsedra, in Mr. Smith's tragedy. She returned, however, 
 for one night, with Mrs. Bracegirdle, April 7, 1709 ; and performed 
 Mrs. Frail, in Love for Love, for Mr. Betterton's benefit ; and afterwards 
 spoke an occasional epilogue, written by Mr. Eowe. She died 7th 
 November, 1713, and was buried at Acton. The inscription over her 
 remains says she was 55 years of age. 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 273 
 
 Miss Boynton,* however, thought him worthy of hers. Her 
 person was slender and delicate, to which a good complexion 
 and large motionless eyes gave at a distance an appearance 
 of beauty, that vanished upon nearer inspection : she affected 
 to lisp, to languish, and to have two or three fainting-fits a 
 day. The first time that Talbot cast his eyes upon her she 
 was seized with one of these fits : he was told that she swooned 
 away upon his account : he believed it, was eager to afford 
 her assistance ; and ever after that accident showed her some 
 kindness, more with the intention of saving her life, than to 
 express any affection he felt for her. This seeming tenderness 
 was well received, and at first she was visibly affected by it. 
 Talbot was one of the tallest men in England, and in all 
 appearance one of the most robust; yet she showed suffi- 
 ciently that she was willing to expose the delicacy of her 
 constitution, to whatever might happen, in order to become 
 his wife ; which event perhaps might then have taken place, 
 as it did afterwards, had not the charms of the fair Jennings 
 at that time, proved an obstacle to her wishes. 
 
 I know not how it came to pass that he had not yet seen 
 her ; though he had heard her much praised, and her prudence, 
 wit, and vivacity equally commended; he believed all this 
 upon the faith of common report. He thought it very sin- 
 gular that discretion and sprightliness should be so intimately 
 united in a person so young, more particularly in the midst 
 of a court where love and gallantry were so much in fashion ; 
 but he found her personal accomplishments greatly to exceed 
 whatever fame had reported of them. 
 
 As it was not long before he perceived he was in love, 
 
 * Daughter of Matthew Boynton, second son of Sir Matthew Boyn- 
 ton of Barmston, in Yorkshire. The sister of this lady married the 
 celebrated Earl of Koscommon. 
 
 18 
 
274 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 neitlier was it long before lie made a declaration of it : as his 
 passion was likely enongii to be real, Miss Jennings thought 
 she might believe him, without exposing herself to the im- 
 putation of vanity. Talbot was possessed of a fine and 
 brilliant exterior, his manners were noble and majestic : be- 
 sides this, he was particularly distinguished by the favour and 
 friendship of the duke ; but his most essential merit, with her, 
 was his forty thousand pounds a-year, landed property, besides 
 his employments. All these qualities came within the rules 
 and maxims she had resolved to follow with respect to lovers : 
 thus, though he had not the satisfaction to obtain from her an 
 entire declaration of her sentiments, he had at least the plea- 
 sure of being better received than those who had paid their 
 addresses to her before him. 
 
 'No person attempted to interrupt his happiness ; and Miss 
 Jennings, perceiving that the duchess approved of Talbot's 
 pretensions, and after having well weighed the matter, and 
 consulted her own inclinations, found that her reason was 
 more favourable to him than her heart, and that the most she 
 could do for his satisfaction was to marry him without re- 
 luctance. 
 
 Talbot, too fortunate in a preference which no man had 
 before experienced, did not examine whether it was to her 
 heart or to her head that he was indebted for it, and his 
 thoughts were solely occupied in hastening the accomplish- 
 ment of his wishes : one would have sworn that the happy 
 minute was at hand ; but love would no longer be love, if he 
 did not delight in obstructing, or in overturning the happiness 
 of those who live under his dominion. 
 
 Talbot, who found nothing reprehensible either in the person, . 
 in the conversation, or in the reputation of Miss Jennings, was 
 however rather concerned at a new acquaintance she had 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 275 
 
 lately formed ; and having taken upon him to give her some 
 cautions upon this subject, she was much displeased at his 
 conduct. 
 
 Miss Price, formerly maid of honour, that had been set 
 aside, as we have before mentioned, upon her leaving the 
 duchess's service, had recourse to Lady Castlemaine's protec- 
 tion : she had a very entertaining wit : her complaisance was 
 adapted to all humours, and her own humour was possessed of 
 a fund of gaiety and sprightliness which diffused universal 
 mirth and merriment wherever she came. Her acquaintance 
 with Miss Jennings was prior to Talbot's. 
 
 As she was thoroughly acquainted with all the intrigues of 
 the court, she related them without any manner of reserve to 
 Miss Jennings, and her own with the same frankness as the 
 others : Miss Jennings was extremely well pleased with her 
 stories ; for though she was determined to make no experiment 
 in love, but upon honourable terms, she however was desirous 
 of knowing from her recitals, all the different intrigues that 
 were carrying on : thus, as she was never wearied with her 
 conversation, she was overjoyed whenever she could see her. 
 
 Talbot, who remarked the extreme relish she had for Miss 
 Price's company, thought that the reputation such a woman 
 had in the world might prove injurious to his mistress, more 
 especially from the particular intimacy there seemed to exist 
 between them : whereupon, in the tone of a guardian rather 
 than a lover, he took upon him to chide her for the disre- 
 putable company she kept. Miss Jennings was haughty be- 
 yond conception, when once she took it into her head ; and as 
 she liked Miss Price's conversation much better than Talbot's, 
 she took the liberty of desiring him "to attend to his own affairs, 
 and that if he only came from Ireland to read lectures about 
 her conduct, he might take the trouble to go back as soon as 
 
 18—2 
 
276 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 he pleased." He was offended at a sally which he thought 
 ill-timed, considering the situation of affairs between them ; 
 and went out of her presence more abruptly than became the 
 respect due from a man greatly in love. He for some time 
 appeared offended ; but perceiving that he gained nothing by 
 such conduct, he grew weary of acting that part, and assumed 
 that of an humble lover, in which he was equally unsuccessful; 
 neither his repentance nor submissions could produce any 
 effect upon her, and the mutinous little gipsy was still in her 
 pouts when Jermyn returned to court. 
 
 It was above a year since he had triumphed over the weak- 
 ness of Lady Castlemaine, and above two since the king had 
 been weary of his triumphs : his uncle, being uue of the first 
 who perceived the king's disgust, obliged him to absent him- 
 self from court, at the very time that orders were going 
 to be issued for that purpose; for though the king's affections 
 for Lady Castlemaine were now greatly diminished, yet he did 
 not think it consistent with his dignity that a mistress, whom 
 he had honoured with public distinction, and who still received 
 a considerable support from him, should appear chained to the 
 car of the most ridiculous conqueror that ever existed. His 
 majesty had frequently expostulated with the countess upon 
 this subject : but his expostulations were never attended to ; it 
 was in one of these differences that he, advising her rather to 
 bestow her favours upon Jacob Hall, the rope-dancer, who was 
 able to return them, than lavish away her money upon Jermyn 
 to no purpose, since it would be more honourable for her to 
 pass for the mistress of the first, than for the very humble 
 servant of the other, she was not proof against his raillery. 
 The impetuosity of her temper broke forth like lightning : she 
 told him " that it very ill became him to throw out such re- 
 

 
 JTJ'.Jeiy I. 
 
 I^JEILT., {V^'Y^ 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GEAMMONT. 277 
 
 proaches against one, who, of all the women in England, de- 
 served them the least ; that he had never ceased quarrelling 
 thus unjustly with her, ever since he had betrayed his own 
 mean low inclinations ; that to gratify such a depraved taste 
 as his, he wanted only such silly things as Stewart, Wells, and 
 that pitiful strolling actress,^ whom he had lately introduced 
 into their society." Moods of tears, from rage, generally attended 
 these storms ; after which, resuming the part of Medea, the 
 scene closed with menaces of tearing her children in pieces, 
 and setting his palace on fire. What course could he pursue 
 with such an outrageous fury, who, beautiful as she was, 
 resembled Medea less than her dragons, when she was thus 
 enraged ! 
 
 The indulgent monarch loved peace ; and as he seldom 
 contended for it on these occasions without paying something 
 to obtain it, he was obliged to be at great expense, in order to 
 reconcile this last rupture : as they could not agree of them- 
 selves, and both parties equally complained, the Chevalier de 
 Grammont was chosen, by mutual consent, mediator of the 
 treaty. The grievances and pretensions on each side were 
 communicated to him, and what is very extraordinary, he 
 managed so as to please them both. Here follow the articles 
 of peace, which they agreed to : 
 
 " That Lady Castlemaine should for ever abandon Jermyn ; 
 that as a proof of her sincerity, and the reality of his disgrace, 
 she should consent to his being sent, for some time, into the 
 country; that she should not rail any more against Miss 
 Wells, nor storm any more against Miss Stewart ; and this 
 without any restraint on the king's behaviour towards her : 
 that in consideration of these condescensions, his majesty 
 * Probably Nell Gwyn. 
 
278 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 should immediately give her the title of duchess,"^ with all 
 the honours and privileges thereunto belonging, and an 
 addition to her pension, in order to enable her to support 
 the dignity." 
 
 As soon as this peace was proclaimed, the political critics, 
 who, in all nations, never fail to censure all state proceedings, 
 pretended that the mediator of this treaty, being every day at 
 play with Lady Castlemaine, and never losing, had, for his 
 own sake, insisted a little too strongly upon this last article. 
 
 Some days after, she was created Duchess of Cleveland, 
 and little Jermyn repaired to his country-seat : however, it 
 was in his power to have returned in a fortnight; for the 
 Chevalier de Grammont, having procured the king's per- 
 mission, carried it to the Earl of St. Alban's : this revived the 
 good old man ; but it was to little purpose he transmitted 
 it to his nephew ; for whether he wished to make the London 
 beauties deplore and lament his absence, or whether he 
 wished them to declaim against the injustice of the age, or 
 rail against the tyranny of the prince, he continued above 
 half a year in the country, setting up for a little philosopher, 
 under the eyes of the sportsmen in the neighbourhood, v/ho 
 regarded him as an extraordinary instance of the caprice of 
 fortune. He thought the part he acted so glorious, that he 
 would have continued there much longer had he not heard of 
 Miss Jennings : he did not, however, pay much attention to 
 what his friends wrote to him concerning her charms, being 
 persuaded he had seen equally as great in others : what was 
 related to him of her pride and resistance, appeared to him of 
 far greater consequence ; and to subdue the last, he even 
 looked upon as an action worthy of his prowess ; and quitting 
 
 * The title of Duchess of Cleveland was conferred on her 3rd August, 
 22 Charles II., 1670. 
 
MEMOIES OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 279 
 
 his retreat for this purpose, he arrived in London at the time 
 that Talbot, who was really in love, had quarrelled, in his 
 opinion, so unjustly with Miss Jennings. 
 
 She had heard Jermyn spoken of as a hero in affairs of love 
 and gallantry. Miss Price, in the recital of those of the 
 Duchess of Cleveland, had often mentioned him, without in 
 any respect diminishing the insignificancy with which fame 
 insinuated he had conducted himself in those amorous en- 
 counters : she nevertheless had the greatest curiosity to see a 
 man, whose entire person, she thought, must be a moving tro- 
 phy, and monument of the favours and freedoms of the 
 fair sex. 
 
 Thus Jermyn arrived at the right time to satisfy her curiosity 
 by his presence ; and though his brilliancy appeared a little 
 tarnished by his residence in the country ; though his head 
 was larger, and his legs more slender than usual, yet the giddy 
 girl thought she had never seen any man so perfect ; and 
 yielding to her destiny, she fell in love with him, a thousand 
 times more unaccountably than all the others had done before 
 her. Everybody remarked this change of conduct in her with 
 surprise ; for they expected something more from the delicacy 
 of a person who, till this time, had behaved with so much pro- 
 priety in all her actions. 
 
 Jermyn was not in the least surprised at this conquest, 
 though not a little proud of it ; for his heart had very soon as 
 great a share in it as his vanity. Talbot, who saw with amaze- 
 ment the rapidity of this triumph, and the disgrace of his own 
 defeat, was ready to die with jealousy and spite ; yet he thought 
 it would be more to his credit to die than to vent those passions 
 unprofitably ; and shielding himself under a feigned indiffer- 
 ence, he kept at a distance to view how far such an extrava- 
 gant prepossession would proceed. 
 
280 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 In the mean time Jermyn quietly enjoyed the happiness of 
 seeing the inclinations of the prettiest and most extraordinary 
 creature in England declared in his favour. The duchess, 
 who had taken her under her protection ever since she had 
 declined placing herself under that of the duke, sounded Jer- 
 myn's intentions towards her, and was satisfied with the 
 assurances she received from a man, whose probity infinitely 
 exceeded his merit in love : he therefore let all the court see 
 that he was willing to marry her, though, at the same time, 
 he did not appear particularly desirous of hastening the con- 
 summation. Every person now complimented Miss Jennings 
 upon having reduced to this situation the terror of husbands, 
 and the plague of lovers : the court was in full expectation of 
 this miracle, and Miss Jennings of a near approaching happy 
 settlement : but in this world one must have fortune in one's 
 favour, before one can calculate with certainty upon happiness. 
 
 The king did not use to let Lord Eochester remain so long 
 in exile : he grew weary of it, and being displeased that he 
 was forgotten, he posted up to London to wait till it might be 
 his majesty's pleasure to recall him. 
 
 He first took up his habitation in the city, among the 
 capital tradesmen and rich merchants, where politeness indeed 
 is not so much cultivated as at court ; but where pleasure, 
 luxury, and abundance reign with less confusion, and more 
 sincerity. His first design was only to be initiated into the 
 mysteries of those fortunate and happy inhabitants : that is to 
 say, by changing his name and dress, to gain admittance to 
 their feasts and entertainments ; and, as occasion offered, to 
 those of their loving spouses ; as he was able to adapt himself 
 to all capacities and humours, he soon deeply insinuated him- 
 self into the esteem of the substantial wealthy aldermen, and 
 into the affections of their more delicate, magnificent, and 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 281 
 
 tender ladies : he made one in all their feasts, and at all their 
 assemblies ; and, whilst in the company of the husbands, he 
 declaimed against the faults and mistakes of government, he 
 joined their wives in railing against the profligacy of the court 
 ladies, and in inveighing against the king's mistresses : he 
 agreed with them, that the industrious poor were to pay for 
 these cursed extravagances ; that the city beauties were not 
 inferior to those of the other end of the town, and yet a sober 
 husband in this quarter of the town was satisfied with one 
 wife ; after which, to out-do their murmurings, he said, that 
 he wondered Whitehall was not yet consumed by fire from 
 heaven, since such rakes as Eochester, Killegrew, and Sidney 
 were suffered there, who had the impudence to assert that all 
 married men in the city were cuckolds, and all their wives 
 painted. This conduct endeared him so much to the cits, 
 and made him so welcome at their clubs, that at last he grew 
 sick of their cramming and endless invitations. 
 
 But, instead of approaching nearer the court, he retreated 
 into one of the most obscure corners of the city : where, again 
 changing both his name and his dress, in order to act a new 
 part, he caused bills to be dispersed, giving notice of " The 
 recent arrival of a famous German doctor,* who, by long ap- 
 
 * Bishop Burnet confirms this account. — " Being under an unlucky 
 accident, which obliged him to keep out of the way, he disguised him- 
 self so, that his nearest friends could not have known him, and set up in 
 Tower Street for an Italian mountebank, where he practised physic for 
 some weeks, not without success. In his latter years he read books of 
 history more. He took pleasure to disguise himself as a porter, or as a 
 beggar; sometimes to follow some mean amours, which, for the variety 
 of them, he affected. At other times, merely for diversion, he would go 
 about in odd shapes; in which he acted his part so naturally, that even 
 those who were in the secret, and saw him in these shapes, could per- 
 ceive nothing by which he might he discovered." — Burnet's Life of 
 Eochester, ed. 1774, p. 14. 
 
282 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GKAMMONT. 
 
 plication and experience, had found out wonderful secrets, and 
 infallible remedies." His secrets consisted in knowing what 
 was past, and foretelling what was to come, by the assistance 
 of astrology : and the virtue of liis remedies principally con- 
 sisted in giving present relief to unfortunate young women in 
 all manner of diseases, and all kinds of accidents incident to 
 the fair sex, either from too unbounded charity to their neigh- 
 bours, or too great indulgence to themselves. 
 
 His first practice being confined to his neighbourhood, was 
 not very considerable ; but his reputation soon extending to 
 the other end of the town, there presently flocked to him the 
 women attending on the court, next, the chamber-maids of 
 ladies of quality, who, upon the wonders they related concern- 
 ing the German doctor, were soon followed by some of their 
 mistresses. 
 
 Among all the compositions of a ludicrous and satirical 
 kind, there never existed any that could be compared to those 
 of Lord Eochester, either for humour, fire, or wit ; but, of all 
 his works, the most ingenious and entertaining is that which 
 contains a detail of the intrigues and adventures in w^hich he 
 was engaged while he professed medicine and astrology in the 
 suburbs of London. 
 
 The fair Jennings was very near getting a place in this 
 collection ; but the adventure that prevented her from it, did 
 not, howevever, conceal from the public her intention of pay- 
 ing a visit to the German doctor. 
 
 The first chamber-maids that consulted him were only those 
 of the maids of honour ; who had numberless questions to ask, 
 and not a few doubts to be resolved, both upon their own and 
 their mistresses' accounts. Notwithstanding their disguise, he 
 recognised some of them, particularly Miss Temple's and Miss 
 Price's maids, and her whom Miss Hobart had lately discarded: 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GEAMMONT. 283 
 
 these creatures all returned either filled with wonder and 
 amazement, or petrified with terror and fear. Miss Temple's 
 chamber- maid deposed that he assured her she would have the 
 small-pox, and her mistress the great, witliin two months at 
 farthest, if her aforesaid mistress did not guard against a man 
 in woman's clothes. Miss Price's woman affirmed that, with- 
 out knowing her, and only looking in her hand, he told her at 
 first sight that, according to the course of the stars, he per- 
 ceived that she was in the service of some good-natured lady, 
 who had no other fault than loving wine and men. In short, 
 ^very one of them, struck with some particular circumstance 
 relating to their own private affairs, had either alarmed or di- 
 verted their mistresses with the account, not failing, according 
 to custom, to embellish the truth, in order to enhance the 
 wonder. 
 
 Miss Price, relating these circumstances one day to her new 
 friend, the devil immediately tempted her to go in person, and 
 see what sort of a creature this neAV magician was. This en- 
 terprise was certainly very rash ; but nothing was too rash for 
 Miss Jennings, who was of opinion that a woman might des- 
 pise appearances, provided she was in reality virtuous. Miss 
 Price was all compliance, and thus having fixed upon this 
 glorious resolution, they only thought of the proper means 
 of putting it into execution. 
 
 It was very difficult for Miss Jennings to disguise herself, 
 on account of her excessive fair and bright complexion, and 
 of something particular in her air and manner : however, after 
 having well considered the matter, the best disguise they 
 could think of was to dress themselves like orange girls.* This 
 
 * These frolics appear to have been not unfrequent with persons of 
 high rank at this period. In a letter from Mr. Henshaw to Sir 
 Kobert Paston, afterwards Earl of Yarmouth, dated October 13, 1670, 
 
284 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 was no sooner resolved upon, but it was put in execution : 
 tliey attired themselves alike, and, taking each a basket of 
 oranges under their arms, they embarked in a hackney coach, 
 and committed themselves to fortune, without any other es- 
 cort than their own caprice and indiscretion. 
 
 The duchess was gone to the play with her sister : Miss 
 Jennings had excused herself under pretence of indisposition : 
 she was over-joyed at the happy commencement of their ad- 
 
 we have the following account : " Last week, there being a faire neare 
 Audlej-end, the queen, the Dutchess of Richmond, and the Dutchess of 
 Buckingham, had a frolick to disguise themselves like country lasses, 
 in red petticoats, wastcotes, &c., and so goe see the faire. Sir Barnard 
 Gascoign, on a cart jade, rode before the queen; another stranger before 
 the Dutchess of Buckingham; and Mr. Roper before Richmond. They 
 had all so overdone it in their disguise, and looked so much more like 
 antiques than country volk, that, as soon as they came to the faire, the 
 people began to goe after them; but the queen going to a booth, to buy 
 a pair of yellow stockings for her sweet hart, and Sir Bernard asking 
 for a pair of gloves sticht with blew, for his sweet hart, they were soon, 
 by their gebrish, found to be strangers, which drew a bigger flock about 
 them. One amongst them had seen the queen at dinner, knew her, and 
 was proud of her knowledge. This soon brought all the faire into a 
 crowd to stare at the queen. Being thus discovered, they, as soon as 
 they could, got to theh horses ; but as many of the faire as had horses 
 got up, with their wives, children, sweet harts, or neighbours, behind 
 them, to get as much gape as they could, till they brought them to the 
 court gate. Thus, by ill conduct, was a merry frolick turned into a 
 penance." — Ive's Select Paioers, p. 39. 
 
 Bishop Burnet says, "at this time, (1668,) the court fell into much 
 extravagance in masquerading : both the king and queen, all the court,, 
 went about masked, and came into houses unknown, and danced there, 
 with a great deal of wild frolic. In all this people were so disguised, 
 that, without being in the secret, none could distinguish them. They 
 were carried about in hackney chairs. Once the queen's chairmen, not 
 knowing who she was, went from her. So she was alone, and was much 
 disturbed, and came to Whitehall in a hackney coach ; some say in a 
 cart." — Burners History, vol. i., p. 368. 
 
MEMOIKS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 285 
 
 venture ; for they had disguised themselves, had crossed the 
 Park, and taken their hackney coach at Whitehall gate, with- 
 out the least accident. They mutually congratulated each 
 -other upon it, and Miss Price, taking a beginning so prospe- 
 rous as a good omen of their success, asked her companion what 
 they were to do at the fortune-teller's, and what they should 
 propose to him. 
 
 Miss Jennings told her that, for her part, curiosity was her 
 principal inducement for going thither ; that, however, she 
 was resolved to ask him, without naming any person, why a 
 man, who was in love with a handsome young lady, was not 
 urgent to marry her, since this was in his power to do, and by 
 so doing he would have an opportunity of gratif5dng his desires. 
 Miss Price told her, smiling, that, without going to the astro- 
 loger, nothing was more easy than to explain the enigma, as 
 she herself had almost given her a solution of it in the narra- 
 tive of the Duchess of Cleveland's adventures. 
 
 Having by this time nearly arrived at the playhouse. Miss 
 Price, after a moment's reflection, said, that since fortune fa- 
 voured them, a fair opportunity was now offered to signalize 
 their courage, which was to go and sell oranges in the very 
 playhouse, in the sight of the duchess and the whole court. 
 The proposal being worthy of the sentiments of the one, and 
 of the vivacity of the other, they immediately alighted, paid 
 off their hack, and, running through the midst of an immense 
 number of coaches, with great difficulty they reached the play- 
 house door. Sidney, more handsome than the beautiful Adonis, 
 and dressed more gay than usual, alighted just then from his 
 ooach : Miss Price went boldly up to him, as he was adjusting 
 his curls ; but he was too much occupied with his own dear 
 self to attend to anything else, and so passed on without 
 deigning to give her an answer. Killegrew came next, and the 
 
286 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 fair Jennings, partly encouraged by the other's pertness, ad- 
 vanced towards him, and offered him her basket, whilst Price, 
 more used to the language, desired him to buy her fine oranges. 
 " Not now," said he, looking at them with attention ; " but if 
 thou wilt to-morrow morning bring this young girl to my lod- 
 gings, I will make it worth all the oranges in London to thee :"" 
 and while he thus spoke to the one he chucked the other under 
 the chin, examining her bosom. These familiarities making 
 little Jennings forget the part she was acting, after having 
 pushed him away with all the violence she was able, she told 
 him with indignation that it was very insolent to dare — "Hat 
 ha !" said he, " here's a rarity indeed ! a young w — , who, the^ 
 better to sell her goods, sets up for virtue, and pretends inno- 
 cence I" 
 
 Price immediately perceived that nothing could be gained 
 by continuing any longer in so dangerous a place ; and, taking 
 lier companion under the arm, she dragged her away, while she 
 was still in emotion at the insult that had been offered to 
 her. 
 
 Miss Jennings, resolving to sell no more oranges on these 
 terms, was tempted to return, without accomplishing the other 
 adventure ; but Price having represented to her the disgrace 
 of such cowardly behaviour, more particularly after having 
 before manifested so much resolution, she consented to go and 
 pay the astrologer a short visit, so as they might be enabled to 
 regain the palace before the play was ended. 
 
 They had one of the doctor's bills for a direction, but there 
 was no occasion for it ; for the driver of the coach they had 
 taken told them he knew very well the place they wanted, for 
 he had already carried above an hundred persons to the Ger- 
 man doctor's : they were within half a street of his house, when 
 fortune thought proper to play them a trick. 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 287 
 
 Brounker* had dined by chance with a merchant in that 
 part of the city, and just as he was going away they ordered 
 their coach to stop, as ill-luck would have it, just opposite to- 
 him. Two orange girls in a hackney coach, one of whom ap- 
 peared to have a very pretty face, immediately drew his atten- 
 tion ; besides, he had a natural curiosity for such objects. 
 
 Of all the men at court, he had the least regard for the fair 
 sex, and the least attention to their reputation : he was not 
 young, nor was his person agreeable ; however, with a great 
 deal of wit, he had a violent passion for women. He did him- 
 self justice respecting his own merit ; and, being persuaded 
 that he could only succeed with those who were desirous of 
 having his money, he was at open war with all the rest. He 
 had a little country-house four or five miles from London 
 always well stocked with girls rf in other respects he was a 
 very honest man, and the best chess-player in England. • 
 
 * Gentleman of the chamber to the Duke of York, and brother to 
 Lord Viscount Brounker, president of the royal society. Lord Claren- 
 don imputes to him the cause of the great sea-fight, in 1665, not being 
 so well improved as it might have been, and adds, "nor did the duke 
 come to hear of it till some years after, when Mr. Brounker's ill course 
 of life, and his abominable nature, had rendered him so odious, that it 
 was taken notice of in parliament, and, upon examination, found to be 
 true, as is here related; upon which he was expelled the house of com- 
 mons, whereof he was a member, as an infamous person, though his 
 friend Coventry adhered to him, and used many indirect acts to have 
 protected him, and afterwards procured him to have more countenance 
 from the king than most men thought he deserved; being a person, 
 throughout his whole life, never notorious for anything but the highest 
 degree of impudence, and stooping to the most infamous offices, and 
 playing very well at chess, which preferred him more than the most 
 virtuous qualities could have done." — Continuation of Clarendon^ s 
 Life, p. 270. . 
 
 t Brounker, Love's squire, through all the field array'd, 
 No troop was better clad, nor so well paid. 
 
 Andi^ew MarvelVs Poems, vol. ii., p. 94. 
 
288 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 Price, alarmed at being thus closely examined by the most 
 dangerous enemy they could encounter, turned her head the 
 other way, bid her companion do the same, and told the coach- 
 man to drive on. Brounker followed them unperceived on 
 foot ; and the coach having stopped twenty or thirty yards 
 farther up the street, they alighted. He was just behind them, 
 and formed the same judgment of them which a man much 
 more charitable to the sex must unavoidably have done, con- 
 cluding that Miss Jennings was a young courtesan upon the 
 look-out, and that Miss Price was the mother-abbess. He was, 
 however, surprised to see them have much better shoes and 
 stockings than women of that rank generally wear, and that 
 the little orange girl, in getting out of a very high coach, 
 showed one of the handsomest legs he had ever seen : but as 
 all this was no obstruction to his designs, he resolved to pur- 
 chase her at any rate, in order to place her in his seraglio. 
 
 He came up to them, as they were giving their baskets in 
 guard to the coachman, with orders to wait for them exactly 
 in that place. Brounker immediately pushed in between 
 them : as soon as they saw him, they gave themselves up for 
 lost ; but he, without taking the least notice of their surprise, 
 took Price aside with one hand, and his purse with the other, 
 and began immediately to enter upon business, but was 
 astonished to perceive that she turned away her face, with- 
 out either answering or looking at him : As this conduct 
 appeared to him unnatural, he stared her full in the face, not- 
 withstanding all her endeavours to prevent him : he did the 
 same to the other : and immediately recognised them, but 
 determined to conceal his discovery. 
 
 The old fox possessed a wonderful command of temper on 
 such occasions, and having teazed them a little longer to re- 
 move all suspicions he quitted them, telling Price; "That 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 289 
 
 •she was a great fool to refuse his offers, and that her girl 
 would not, perhaps, get so much in a year, as she might with 
 him in one day ; that the times were greatly changed, since 
 the queen's and the duchess's maids of honour forestalled 
 the market, and were to be had cheaper than the town ladies." 
 Upon this he went back to his coach, whilst they blessed 
 themselves, returning heaven their most hearty thanks for 
 having escaped this danger without being discovered. 
 
 Brounker, on the other hand, would not have taken a thou- 
 sand guineas for this rencounter : he blessed the Lord that he 
 had not alarmed them to such a degree as to frustrate their 
 intention ; for he made no doubt but Miss Price had managed 
 some intrigue for Miss Jennings : he therefore immediately 
 concluded, that at present it would be improper to make 
 known his discovery, which would have answered no other 
 end but to have overwhelmed them with confusion. 
 
 Upon this account, although Jermyn was one of his best 
 friends, he felt a secret joy in not having prevented his 
 being made a cuckold, before his marriage ; and the appre- 
 hension he was in of preserving liim from that accident, was 
 his sole reason for quitting them with the precautions afore- 
 mentioned. 
 
 Whilst they were under these alarms, their coachman was 
 engaged in a squabble with some blackguard boys, who had 
 gathered round his coach in order to steal the oranges : from 
 words they came to blows : the two nymphs saw the com- 
 mencement of the fray as they were returning to the coach, 
 after having abandoned the design of going to the fortune- 
 teller's. Their coachman being a man of spirit, it was with 
 great difficulty they could persuade him to leave their oranges 
 to the mob, that they might get off without any further dis- 
 turbance : having thus regained their hack, after a thousand 
 
 19 
 
290 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 frights, and after having received an abundant share of the 
 most low and infamous abuse applied to them during the 
 fracas, they at length reached St. James's, vowing never more 
 to go after fortune-tellers, through so many dangers, terrors, 
 and alarms, as they had lately undergone. 
 
 Brounker, who, from the indifferent opinion he entertained 
 of the fair sex, would have staked his life that Miss Jennings 
 did not return from this expedition in the same condition she 
 went, kept his thoughts, however, a profound secret ; since it 
 would have afforded him the highest satisfaction to have seen 
 the all-fortunate Jermyn marry a little street- walker, who 
 pretended to pass for a pattern of chastity, that he might, the 
 day after his marriage, congratulate him upon his virtuous 
 spouse ; but heaven Avas not disposed to afford him that 
 satisfaction, as will appear in the sequel of these memoirs. 
 
 Miss Hamilton was in the country, as we before mentioned, 
 at a relation's : the Che^^alier de Grammont bore this short 
 absence of hers with great uneasiness, since she would not 
 allow him permission to visit her there, upon any pretence 
 whatever ; but play, wliich was favourable to him, was no 
 small relief to his extreme impatience. 
 
 Miss Hamilton, however, at last returned. Mrs. Weten- 
 hall * (for that was the name of her relation) would by all 
 means wait upon her to London, in appearance out of polite- 
 
 * Elizabeth, daughter of Sir Henry Bediugfield, and wife of Thomas 
 Wetenhall, of Hextall Court, near East Peckham, in the county of Kent, 
 See Collinses Baronetage, p. 216. The family of Whetenhall, or Whet- 
 nall, was possessed of the estate of Hextall Court from the time of 
 Henry VIII. until within a few years past, when one of them, Henry 
 Whetenhall, Esq., alienated it to John Fane, Earl of Westmoreland. 
 Of this family was Edward WhetenhaU, a celebrated polemical writer, 
 who, in 1678, was consecrated bishop of Corke and Eoss. — See Wood's 
 Aihenm Oxoniensis, vol. ii., p. 851, 998. 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 291 
 
 ness ; for ceremony, carried beyond all bearing, is tlie grand 
 characteristic of country gentry : yet this mark of civility 
 was only a pretence, to obtain a peevish husband's consent 
 to his wife's journey to town. Perhaps he would have done 
 himself the honour of conducting Miss Hamilton up to 
 London, had he not been employed in writing some re- 
 marks upon the ecclesiastical history, a work in which he had 
 long been engaged : the ladies were more civil than to inter- 
 rupt him in his undertaking, and besides, it would entirely 
 have disconcerted all Mrs. Wetenhall's schemes. 
 
 This lady was what may be properly called a beauty, en- 
 tirely English, made up of lilies and roses, of snow and milk, 
 as to colour ; and of wax, with respect to the arms, hands, 
 neck, and feet, but all this without either animation or air ; 
 her face was uncommonly pretty ; but there was no variety, 
 no change of countenance in it : one would have thought she 
 took it in the morning out of a case, in order to put it up 
 again at night, without using it in the smallest degree in the 
 daytime. What can I say of her ! nature had formed her a 
 baby from her infancy, and a baby remained till death the 
 fair Mrs. Wetenhall. Her husband had been destined for 
 the church ; but his elder brother dying just at the time he 
 had gone through his studies of divinity, instead of taking 
 orders, he came to England, and took to wife Miss Beding- 
 field, the lady of whom we are now speaking. 
 
 His person was not disagreeable, but he had a serious con- 
 templative air, very apt to occasion disgust : as for the rest, 
 she might boast of having one of the greatest theologists in 
 the kingdom for her husband : he was all day poring over his 
 books, and went to bed soon, in order to rise early ; so that 
 his wife found him snoring when she came to bed, and when 
 he arose he left her there sound asleep : his conversation at 
 
 19—2 
 
292 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 table would have been very brisk, if Mrs. Wetenliall had 
 been as great a proficient in divinity, or as great a lover of 
 controversy, as he was ; but being neither learned in the 
 former, nor desirous of the latter, silence reigned at their 
 table, as absolutely as at a refectory. 
 
 She had often expressed a great desire to see London ; but 
 though they were only distant a very short day's journey from 
 it, she had never been able to satisfy her curiosity: it was 
 not therefore without reason, that she grew weary of the life 
 she was forced to lead at Peckham.* The melancholy retired 
 situation of the place was to her insupportable ; and as she 
 had the folly, incident to many other women, of believing 
 sterility to be a kind of reproach, she was very much hurt to 
 see that she might fall under that suspicion ; for she was per- 
 suaded, that although heaven had denied her children, she 
 nevertheless had all the necessary requisites on her part, if it 
 had been the will of the Lord. This had occasioned her to 
 make some reflections, and then to reason upon those reflec- 
 tions ; as for instance, that since her husband chose rather to 
 devote himself to his studies, than to the duties of matri- 
 mony, to turn over musty old books, rather than attend to 
 the attractions of beauty, and to gratify his own pleasures, 
 rather than those of his wife, it might be permitted her to 
 relieve some necessitous lover, in neighbourly charity, pro- 
 vided she could do it conscientiously, and to direct her in- 
 clinations in so just a manner, that the evil spirit should 
 have no concern in it. Mr. Wetenhall, a zealous partisan 
 
 * " Peckham is about ten miles off Tunbridge Wells. Sir William 
 Twisden lias an ancient mansion here, which has been long in that 
 family."— .g^^rr's History of Tunbridge Wells, 8vo, 1766, p. 237. Mr. 
 Hasted says, the estate was purchased by Sir William Twisden of 
 Henry Whetenhall, Esq. — HastecVs Kent^ vol. ii. p. 274. 
 
MEMOIES OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 293 
 
 for the doctrine of the casuists, would not perhaps have ap- 
 proved of these decisions ; but he was not consulted. 
 
 The greatest misfortune was, that neither solitary Peckham,. 
 nor its sterile neighbourhood, presented any expedients, either 
 for the execution of the afore-mentioned design, or for the 
 relief of poor Mrs. Wetenhall : she was visibly pining away, 
 when, through fear of dying either with solitude or of want, 
 she had recourse to Miss Hamilton's commiseration. 
 
 Their first acquaintance was formed at Paris, whither Mr. 
 Wetenhall had taken his wife half a year after they were 
 married, on a journey thither to buy books : Miss Hamilton^ 
 who from that very time greatly pitied her, consented to pass 
 some time in the country with her, in hopes by that visit to 
 deliver her, for a short time at least, out of her captivity ; 
 wMch project succeeded according to her wish. 
 
 The Chevalier de Grammont, being informed of the day on 
 which they were to arrive, borne on the wings of love and 
 impatience, had engaged George Hamilton to go with him, 
 and meet them some miles out of London. The equipage he 
 had prepared for the purpose, corresponded with his usual 
 magnificence ; and on such an occasion, we may reasonably 
 su]3pose he had not neglected liis person : however, with all 
 his impatience, he checked the ardour of the coachman, through 
 fear of accidents, rightly judging that upon a road prudence 
 is preferable to eagerness. The ladies at length appeared, and 
 Miss Hamilton, being in his eyes, ten or twelve times more 
 handsome than before her departure from London, he would 
 have purchased with his life so kind a reception as she gave 
 her brother. 
 
 Mrs. Wetenhall had her share of the praises, which at this 
 interview were liberally bestowed upon her beauty, for which 
 her beauty was very thankful to those who did it so much 
 
294 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 honour ; and as Hamilton regarded her with a tender attention, 
 she regarded Hamilton as a man very well qualified for put- 
 ting in execution the little projects she had concerted with 
 her conscience. 
 
 As soon as she was in London, her head was almost turned, 
 through an excess of contentment and felicity : everything 
 appeared like enchantment to her in this superb city ; more 
 particularly, as in Paris she had never seen anything farther 
 than the Eue Saint Jacques, and a few booksellers' shops. Miss 
 Hamilton entertained her at her own house, and she was pre- 
 sented, admired, and well received at both courts. 
 
 The Chevalier de Grammont, whose gallantry and magni- 
 ficence were inexhaustible, taking occasion, from this fair 
 stranger's arrival, to exhibit his grandeur, nothing was to be 
 seen but balls, concerts, plays, excursions by land and by 
 water, splendid collations and sumptuous entertainments : 
 Mrs. Wetenhall was transported with pleasures, of which the 
 greatest part were entirely new to her ; she was greatly de- 
 lighted with all, except now and then at a play, when tragedy 
 was acted, which she confessed she thought rather wearisome: 
 she agreed, however, that the show was very interesting, when 
 there were many people killed upon the stage, but thought the 
 players were very fine handsome fellows, who were much 
 better alive than dead. 
 
 Hamilton, upon the whole, was pretty well treated by her, 
 if a man in love, who is never satisfied until the completion 
 of his wishes, could confine himself within the bounds of 
 moderation and reason : he used all his endeavours to deter- 
 mine her to put in execution the projects she had formed at 
 Peckham: Mrs. Wetenhall, on the other hand, was much 
 pleased with him. This is the Hamilton who served in the 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 295 
 
 French army with distinction ;"^ he was both agreeable and 
 handsome. All imaginable opportunities conspired to favour 
 the establishment of an intimacy, whose commencement had 
 been so brisk, that in all probability it would not languish for 
 a conclusion ; but the more he pressed her to it, the more her 
 resolution began to fail, and regard for some scruples, which 
 she had not well weighed, kept her in suspense : there was 
 reason to believe that a little perseverance would have removed 
 these obstacles ; yet this at the present time was not attempted. 
 Hamilton, not able to conceive what could prevent her from 
 
 * I apprehend he is the same George Hamilton already described, 
 who married Miss Jennings, and not the author of this work, as Lord 
 Orford supposes. In a letter from Arlington to Sir William Godolphin, 
 dated September 7, 1671, it is said, '' the Conde de Molina complains to 
 lis of certain levies Sir George Hamilton hath made in Ireland. The 
 king hath always told him he had no express license for it ; and I 
 have told the Conde he must not find it strange that a gentleman who 
 had been bred the king's page abroad, and losing his employment at 
 home, for being a Eoman Catholic, should have some more than ordi- 
 nary connivance towards the making his fortune abroad by the coun- 
 tenance of his friends and relations in Ireland : and yet take the 
 matter in the worst sense he could give, it would not amount to the 
 breach of any article betwixt the king my master and the court of 
 Spain." — Arlington's Letters, vol. ii., p. 332. In a letter from the same 
 nobleman to Lord Sandwich, written about October, 1667, we find the 
 cause of Sir George Hamilton's entering into the French service : 
 " Concerning the reformadoes of the guards of horse, his majesty 
 thought fit, the other day, to have them dismissed, according to his pro- 
 mise, made to the parliament at the last session. Mr. Hamilton had a 
 secret overture made him, that he, with those men, should be welcome 
 into the French service ; his majesty, at their dismissal, having de- 
 clared they should have leave to go abroad whither they pleased. 
 They accepted of Mr. Hamilton's offer to carry them into France," — 
 Arlington's Letters, vol. i., p. 185. Lodge, in his Peerage of Ireland, 
 says, Sir George Hamilton died in 1667, which, from the first extract 
 ■above, appears to be erroneous. He has evidently confounded the 
 father and son ; the former of whom was the person who died in 1667. 
 
296 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GEAMMONT. 
 
 completing his liappiness, since in liis opinion the first and 
 greatest difficulties of an amour were already overcome, with 
 respect to the public, resolved to abandon her to her irresolu- 
 tions, instead of endeavouring to conquer them by a more 
 vigorous attack. It was not consistent with reason, to desist 
 from an enterprise, where so many prospects of success pre- 
 sented themselves, for such inconsiderable obstacles ; but he 
 suffered himseK to be intoxicated with chimeras and visions, 
 which unseasonably cooled the vigour of his pursuit, and led 
 him astray in another unprofitable undertaking. 
 
 I know not wliether poor Wetenhall took the blame upon 
 herself ; but it is certain, she was extremely mortified upon it. 
 Soon after being obliged to return to her cabbages and turkeys 
 at Peckham, she had almost gone distracted : that residence 
 appeared a thousand times more dreadful to her, since she had 
 been initiated into the amusements of London ; but as the 
 queen was to set out within a month for Tanbridge Wells, she 
 was obliged to yield to necessity, and return to the philo- 
 sopher, Wetenhall, with the consolation of having engaged 
 Miss Hamilton to come and live at her house, which was 
 within ten or twelve miles of Tunbridge, as long as the court 
 remained there. 
 
 Miss Hamilton promised not to abandon her in her retire- 
 ment, and further engaged to bring the Chevalier de Grammont 
 along with her, whose humour and conversation extremely 
 delighted her. The Chevalier de Grammont, who on all occa- 
 sions started agreeable raillery, engaged on his part to bring 
 George Hamilton, which words overwhelmed her with blushes. 
 
 The court set out soon after^ to pass about two months in 
 
 * This was in 1664, probably as soon as the queen was sufficiently 
 recovered from the illness mentioned in note on p. 153. See £u7t's 
 History of Tunhridge Wells, p. 43. 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 297 
 
 the place of all Europe the most rural and simple, and yet, at 
 the same time, the most entertaining and agreeable. 
 
 Tunbridge is the same distance from London, that Fon- 
 tainebleau is from Paris, and is, at the season, the general 
 rendezvous of all the gay and handsome of both sexes. The 
 company, though always numerous, is always select : since 
 those who repair tliither for diversion, ever exceed the number 
 of those who go tliither for health. E^^erything there breathes 
 mirth and pleasure : constraint is banished, familiarity is estab- 
 lished upon the first acquaintance, and joy and pleasure are 
 the sole sovereigns of the place. 
 
 The company are accommodated with lodgings in little, 
 clean, and convenient habitations, that lie straggling and sepa- 
 rated from each other, a mile and a half all round the Wells, 
 where the company meet in the morning : this place consists 
 of a long walk, shaded by spreading trees, under which they 
 walk while they are drinking the waters : on one side of this 
 walk is a long row of shops, plentifully stocked with all 
 manner of toys, lace, gloves, stockings, and where there is 
 raffling, as at Paris, in the Foire de Saint Germain : on the 
 other side of the walk is the market ; and, as it is the custom 
 here for every person to buy their own provisions, care is taken 
 that nothing offensive appears on the stalls. Here young, fair> 
 fresh-coloured country girls, with clean linen, small straw hats, 
 and neat shoes and stockings, sell game, vegetables, flowers and 
 fruit : here one may live as one pleases : here is, likewise, deep 
 play, and no want of amorous intrigues. As soon as the even- 
 ing comes, every one quits his little palace to assemble at the 
 bowling-green, where, in the open air, those who choose, dance 
 upon a turf more soft and smooth than the finest carpet in 
 the world. 
 
298 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 Lord Muskerry^ liad, witliin two or three short miles of 
 Timbridge, a very handsome seat called Siimmer-hill : Miss 
 Hamilton, after having spent eight or ten days at Peck- 
 ham, could not excuse herself from passing the remainder of 
 the season at his house ; and, having obtained leave of Mr. 
 Wetenhall, that his lady should accompany her, they left the 
 melancholy residence of Peckham, and its tiresome master, 
 and fixed their little court at Summer-hill.-[- 
 
 * Eldest son to the Earl of Clancarty ; " a young man," says Lord 
 Clarendon, " of extraordinary courage and expectation, who had been 
 colonel of a regiment of foot in Flanders, imder the duke, and had the 
 general estimation of an excellent officer. He was of the duke's bed- 
 chamber ; and the earl {i.e. of Falmouth) and he were, at that time, so 
 near the duke, that his highness was all covered with their blood. 
 There fell, likewise, in the same ship, and at the same instant, Mr. 
 Richard Boyle, a younger son of the Earl of Burlington, a youth of 
 great hope." — Continuation of Clarendon^s Life., p. 266. 
 
 t Lord Orford supposes this place came to Lord Mu skerry through 
 the means of his elder brother ; but in this he is mistaken, as it be- 
 longed to him in right of his wife, the only daughter of Lord Clan- 
 rickard. This seat is about five miles from the Wells, and was once 
 the residence and property of Sir Francis Walsingham, from whom it 
 descended to his daughter Frances, who married first Sir Philip Sydney ; 
 secondly, the unfortunate Robert Devereux, Earl of Essex : and lastly, 
 Richard de Burgh, Marquis of Clanrickard. In Walker^ s History of 
 Independence, we are told, that ' Somer-hill, a pleasant seat, worth 
 one thousand pounds a-year, belonging to the Earl of St. Albans, (who 
 was also Marquis of Clanrickard,) is given by the junta to the blood- 
 hound Bradshaw : So he hath warned the Countesse of Leicester, who 
 formerly had it in possession, to raise a debt of three thousand pounds, 
 pretended due to her from the said earle, (which she had already 
 raised fourfold,) to quiet the possession against our lord's day next." 
 At the restoration it seems to have returned to its original owner. It 
 is now the residence of "William Woodgate, Esq. A writer, supposed to 
 be the Reverend Richard Oneley, thus describes it in 1771 : "The 
 house being too large for the family of the present possessor, some of - 
 the state rooms are not made use of, or furnished ; but in them are 
 still remaining superb chimney-pieces, fine carved wainscot, and other 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT, 299 
 
 They went every day to court, or the court came to them. 
 The queen even surpassed her usual attentions in inventing 
 and supporting entertainments : she endeavoured to increase 
 the natural ease and freedon of Tunbridge, by dispensing with, 
 rather than requiring, those ceremonies that were due to her 
 presence ; and, confining in the bottom of her heart that grief 
 and uneasiness she could not overcome, she saw Miss Stewart 
 triumphantly possess the affections of the king without mani- 
 festing the least uneasiness. 
 
 Never did love see his empire in a more flourishing condi- 
 tion than on this spot : those who were smitten before they 
 
 monuments of their former grandeur and magnificence. In the 
 dining-room, above stairs, are figures, flowers, and other ornaments in 
 stucco ; particularly, a representation in relievo, over the chimney- 
 piece, of the angelic host (as it is thought) rejoicing in the creation of 
 the world ; a design seemingly taken from Job, chap, xxxvii., v. 7. 
 The house is inclosed with four courts, E. W. N. S. The front court, 
 through which is the grand approach to the house, looks towards the 
 w^est ; from whence you have a fine prospect to the Surrey hills before 
 you, and Seven-oak hills on the right. The prospect is limited by 
 Baron Smythe's park on the left. The town and castle of Tunbridge, 
 the navigable river Medway, and the rich meadows through which it 
 runs, finely diversified with corn-fields, pasturage, hop-gardens, and 
 orchards, are here in full view, and form a most beautiful scene. From 
 the opposite court, on the west side of the house, are seen the Canter- 
 bury hills, near Dover, at the distance of about fifty miles ; but this view, 
 and the several objects it comprises, is best enjoyed from a rising hill, 
 on which grow two large oaks, at a little distance southward from the 
 liouse. From this stand, a stranger may behold at leisure a valley 
 equal to Tempe, Andalusia, or Tinian." — General Account of Tun- 
 hridge Wells and its Environs ; printed for G. Pearch, 8vo, p. 37. 
 Mr. Hasted says, " that Lady Muskerry having, by her expensive way 
 of life, wasted her estate, she, by piece-meals, sold off a great part of 
 the demesne lands, lying mostly on the southern side of South-frith, to 
 different persons ; and dying in great distress, was buried accordingly, 
 -about the year 1698." — History of Kent, vol. ii., p. 341. 
 
300 
 
 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMC 
 
 came to it, felt a mighty augmentation of their flame ; and 
 those who seemed the least susceptible of love, laid aside 
 their natural ferocity, to act in a new character. Tor the truth 
 of the latter, w^e shall only relate the change which soon ap- 
 peared in the conduct of Prince Eupert."^ 
 
 He was brave and courageous, even to rashness ; but cross- 
 grained and incorrigibly obstinate : his genius was fertile in 
 mathematical experiments, and he possessed some knowledge 
 of chemistry : he was polite even to excess, unseasonably ; but 
 
 * Lord Orford's contrast to this character of Prince Eupert is too just 
 to be here omitted. " Born with the taste of an uncle whom his sw^ord 
 was not fortunate in defending, Prince Eupert was fond of those 
 sciences which soften and adorn a hero's private hours, and knew how 
 to mix them with his minutes of amusement, without dedicating 
 his life to their pursuit, like us, who, wanting capacity for momentous 
 views, make serious study of what is only the transitory occupation of 
 a genius. Had the court of the first Charles been peaceful, how agree- 
 ably had the prince's congenial propensity Qattered and confirmed the 
 incHnation of his uncle ! How the muse of arts would have repaid the 
 patronage of the monarch, when, for his first artist, she would have pre- 
 sented him with his nephew^ ! How different a figure did the same 
 prince make in a reign of dissimilar complexion ! The philosophic 
 wanior, who could relax himself into the ornament of a refined courts 
 was thought a savage mechanic, when courtiers were only voluptuous 
 wits. Let me transcribe a picture of Prince Eupert, drawn by a man 
 who was far from having the least portion of wit in that age, who was- 
 superior to its indelicacy, and who yet was so overborne by its preju- 
 judices, that he had the complaisance to ridicule virtue, merit, talents, 
 — But Prince Eupert, alas ! was an awkward lover !" Lord Orford 
 here inserts the character in the text, and then adds, " What pity that 
 we, who wish to transmit this prince's resemblance to posterity on a 
 fairer canvas, have none of these inimitable colours to efface the harsher 
 likeness ! We can but oppose facts to wit, truth to sathe. — How unequal 
 the pencils ! yet what these lines cannot do, they may suggest : they 
 may induce the reader to reflect, that if the prince was defective in the 
 transient varnish of a court, he at least was adorned by the arts with 
 that pohsh which alone can make a couit attract the attention of sub- 
 sequent ages." — Catalogue of Engravers, p. 135, 8vo ed. 
 
':i.Iely I. 
 
 \ 
 
 I^I^^ 1-lT V^Til^E. S 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 301 
 
 haughty, and even brutal, when he ought to have been gentle 
 and courteous : he was tall, and his manners were ungracious : 
 he had a dry hard-favoured visage, and a stern look, even when 
 he wished to please ; but, when he was out of humour, he was 
 the true picture of reproof. 
 
 The queen had sent for the players, either that there might 
 be no intermission in the diversions of the place, or, perhaps, 
 to retort upon Miss Stewart, by the presence of Nell Gwyn, 
 part of the uneasiness she felt from hers. Prince Eupert found 
 charms in the person of another player called Hughes,* who 
 brought down and greatly subdued his natural fierceness. 
 From this time, adieu alembics, crucibles, furnaces, and all the 
 black furniture of the forges : a complete farewell to all ma- 
 thematical instruments and chemical speculations: sweet 
 powder and essences were now the only ingredients that occu- 
 pied any share of his attention. The impertinent gipsy chose 
 to be attacked in form ; and proudly refusing money, that, in 
 the end she might sell her favours at a dearer rate, she caused 
 the poor prince to act a part so unnatural, that he no longer 
 appeared like the same person. The king was greatly pleased 
 with this event, for which great rejoicings were made at Tun- 
 bridge ; but nobody was bold enough to make it the subject of 
 
 * Mrs. Hughes was one of the actresses belonging to the king's 
 company, and one of the earliest female performers. According to 
 Downs, she commenced her theatrical career after the opening of Drury- 
 lane theatre, in 1663. She appears to ha.ve been the first female re- 
 presentative of Desdemona. By Prince Rupert she had a daughter, 
 named Ruperta, married to Lieutenant-general Howe, who survived 
 her husband many years, dying at Somerset house, about the year 1740. 
 For Mrs. Hughes Prince Rupert bought the magnificent seat of Sir 
 Nicholas Crispe, near Hammersmith, now the residence of the Mar- 
 grave of Brandenburgh, which cost ^25,000 the building. From the 
 dramatis personae to Tom Essence, licensed 1676, we find Mrs. Hughes 
 was then on the stage, and in the duke's company. 
 
1 
 
 302 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 satire, though the same constraint was not observed with other 
 ridiculous personages. 
 
 There was dancing every day at the queen's apartments,, 
 because the physicians recommended it, and no person thought 
 it amiss : for even those who cared least for it, chose that 
 exercise to digest tlie waters rather than walking. Lord Mus- 
 , kerry thought himself secure against his lady's rage for danc- 
 ing ; for, although he was ashamed of it, the princess of Babylon 
 was, by the grace of God, six or seven months advanced in 
 pregnancy; and, to complete her misfortune, the child had 
 fallen all on one side, so that even Euclid would have been 
 puzzled to say what her figure was. The disconsolate lady, 
 seeing Miss Hamilton and Mrs. Wetenhall set out every 
 morning, sometimes on horseback and sometimes in a coach, 
 but ever attended by a gallant troop to conduct them to court, 
 and to convey them back, she fancied a thousand times more 
 delights at Tunbridge than in reality there were, and she did 
 not cease in her imagination, to dance over at Summer-hill all 
 the country dances wliich she thought had been danced at 
 Tunbridge. She could no longer support the racking torments 
 which disturbed her mind, when relenting heaven, out of pity 
 to her pains and sufferings, caused Lord Muskerry to repair 
 to London, and kept him there two whole days : as soon 
 as ever he had turned his back, the Babylonian princess de- 
 clared her resolution to make a trip to court. 
 
 She had a domestic chaplain who did not want sense, and 
 Lord Muskerry, for fear of accidents, had recommended her to 
 the wholesome counsels and good prayers of this prudent divine; 
 but in vain were all his preachings and exhortations to stay at 
 home ; in vain did he set before her eyes her husband's com- 
 mands, and the dangers to wliich she would expose herself in 
 her present condition ; he likewise added that her pregnancy. 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 30^ 
 
 being a particular blessing from heaven, she ought therefore 
 to be so much the more careful for its preservation, since it 
 cost her husband, perhaps, more trouble than she was aware 
 of, to obtain it. These remonstrances were altogether inefPec- 
 tual : Miss Hamilton and her cousin Wetenhall, having the 
 complaisance to confirm her in her resolution, they assisted in 
 dressing her the next morning, and set out along with her : 
 all their skill and dexterity were requisite to reduce her shape 
 into some kind of symmetry ; but, having at last pinned a 
 small cushion under her petticoat on the right side, to coun- 
 teract the untoward appearance the little infant occasioned by 
 throwing itself on the left, they almost split their sides with 
 laughter, assuring her at the same time that she looked per- 
 fectly charming. 
 
 As soon as she appeared, it was generally believed that she had 
 dressed herself in a farthingale, in order to make her court to 
 the queen; but every person was pleased at her arrival: those 
 who were unacquainted with the circumstances assured her in 
 earnest that she was pregnant with twins ; and the queen, who 
 envied her condition, notwithstanding the ridiculous appear- 
 ance she then made, being made acquainted with the motive 
 of her journey, was determined to gratify her inclinations. 
 
 As soon as the hour for country dances arrived, her cousin 
 Hamilton was appointed her partner : she made some faint excuses 
 at first on account of the inconvenient situation she was then in: 
 but soon suffered them to be overcome, in order, as she said, to 
 show her duty to the queen ; and never did a woman in this 
 world enjoy such complete satisfaction. 
 
 We have already observed, that the greatest prosperity is 
 liable to the greatest change : Lady Muskerry, trussed up as 
 she was, seemed to feel no manner of uneasiness from the 
 motion in dancing ; on the contrary, being only apprehensive 
 
304 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 of the presence of her husband, which would have destroyed 
 all her happiness, she danced with uncommon briskness, lest 
 her ill stars should bring him back before she had fully satis- 
 fied herself with it. In the midst, therefore, of her capering 
 in this indiscreet manner, her cushion came loose, without her 
 perceiving it, and fell to the ground in the very middle of the 
 first round. Tlie Duke of Buckingham, who watched her, took 
 it up instantly, wrapped it up in his coat, and, mimicking the 
 cries of a new-born infant, he went about inquiring for a nurse 
 for the young Muskerry among the maids of honour. 
 
 This buffoonery, joined to the strange figure of the poor 
 lady, had almost thrown Miss Stewart into hysterics ; for the 
 princess of Babylon, after tliis accident, was quite flat on one 
 side, and immoderately protuberant on the other. All those 
 who had before suppressed their inclinations to laugh, now 
 gave themselves free scope, when they saw that Miss Stewart 
 was ready to split her sides. The poor lady was greatly dis- 
 concerted : every person was officious to console her ; but the 
 queen, who inwardly laughed more heartily than any, pre- 
 tended to disapprove of their taking such liberties. 
 
 Whilst Miss Hamilton and Mrs. Wetenhall endeavoured 
 to refit Lady Muskerry in another room, the Duke of Buck- 
 ingham told the king that, if the physicians would permit a 
 little exercise immediately after a delivery, the best way to re- 
 cover Lady Muskerry was to renew the dance as soon as ever 
 her infant was replaced ; this advice was approved, and accord- 
 ingly put in execution. The queen proposed, as soon as she 
 appeared, a second round of country-dances ; and Lady Mus- 
 kerry accepting the offer, the remedy had its desired effect, 
 and entirely removed every remembrance of her late mishap. 
 
 Whilst these things were passing at the king's court, that 
 of the Duke of York took a journey on the other side of Lon- 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 305 
 
 don ;* the pretence of this journey was to visit the county 
 whose name he bore; but love was the real motive. The 
 duchess, since her elevation, had conducted herself with such 
 prudence and circumspection, as could not be sufficiently ad- 
 mired : such were her manners, and such the general estima- 
 tion in which she was held, that she appeared to have found 
 out the secret of pleasing every one ; a secret yet more rare 
 than the grandeur to which she had been raised : but, after 
 having gained universal esteem, she was desirous of being 
 more particularly beloved ; or, more properly speaking, ma- 
 licious Cupid assaulted her heart, in spite of the discretion, 
 prudence, and reason, with which she had fortified it. 
 
 In vain had she said to herself a hundred times, that if the 
 duke had been so kind as to do her justice by falling in love 
 with her, he had done her too much honour by making her his 
 wife ; that with respect to his inconstant disposition, which 
 estranged him from her, she ought to bear it with patience, 
 until it pleased heaven to produce a change in his conduct ; 
 that the frailties on his part, which might to her appear in- 
 jurious, would never justify in her the least deviation from her 
 duty ; and, as resentment was still less allowable, she ought 
 to endeavour to regain him by a conduct entirely opposite to 
 
 * In Sir John Eeresby's Memoii^s, 8vo. 1735, p. 11, sub anno 1665, it 
 is said, Aug. 5, " his Eoyal Highness the Duke and his Duchess came 
 down to York, where it was observed that Mr. Sidney, the hand- 
 somest youth of his time, and of the duke's bedchamber, was greatly in 
 love with the duchess ; and indeed he might well be excused ; for the 
 duchess, daughter to Chancellor Hyde, was a very handsome personage, 
 and a woman of fine wit. The duchess, on her part, seemed kind to 
 him, but very innocently ; but he had the misfortune to be banished 
 the court afterwards, for another reason, as was reported." Burnet 
 mentions this transaction, and insinuates, that to this cause is to be 
 ascribed the duchess's conversion to popery. — See Bicrnefs History of 
 his Otvn Times^ vol. i., p. 318. 
 
 20 
 
306 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 his own. In vain was it, as we have said before, that she had 
 long resisted Love and his emissaries by the help of these 
 maxims : how solid soever reason, and however obstinate wis- 
 dom -and virtue may be, there are yet certain attacks which 
 tire by their length, and, in the end, subdue both reason and 
 virtue itself. 
 
 The Duchess of York was one of the highest feeders in Eng- 
 land : as this was an unforbidden pleasure she indulged herself 
 in it, as an indemnification for other self-denials. It was really 
 an edifying sight to see her at table. The duke, on the con- 
 trary, being incessantly in the hurry of new fancies, exhausted 
 himself by his inconstancy, and was gradually wastiQg away ; 
 whilst the poor princess, gratifying her good appetite, grew so 
 fat and plump that it was a blessing to see her. It is not easy 
 to determine how long things would have continued in this 
 situation, if Love, who was resolved to have satisfaction for her 
 late conduct, so opposite to the former, had not employed ar- 
 tifice as well as force, to disturb her repose. 
 
 He at first let loose upon her resentment and jealousy two 
 mortal enemies to all tranquillity and happiness. A tall 
 creature, pale-faced, and nothing but skin and bone, named 
 Churchill,^ whom she had taken for a maid of honour, became 
 
 * Miss Arabella Churcliill, daughter of Sir Wiuston Churcliill of 
 Wotton Basset, in the county of Wilts, and sister to the celebrated 
 John, Duke of Marlborough. She was born 1648. By the Duke of 
 York she was mother of, 1, James, Duke of Berwick ; 2, Henry Fitz- 
 James, commonly called the Grand Prior, born 1673, who was, after 
 the revolution, created by his father Duke of Albemarle, and died 1702; 
 3, Henrietta, born 1670, married to Lord "Waldegrave, and died 1730. 
 Miss Churchill afterwards became the wife of Charles Godfrey, Esq., 
 clerk-comptroller of the green cloth, and master of the jewel office, by 
 whom she had two daughters; one, Charlotte, married to Lord Falmouth; 
 and the other, Elizabeth, to Edmund Dunch, Esq. Mrs. Godfrey died in 
 May, 1730, at the age of 82. 
 
 / 
 
MEMOIES OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 307 
 
 the object of her jealousy, because she was then the object of 
 the duke's affection. The court was not able to comprehend 
 how, after having been in love with Lady Chesterfield, Miss 
 Hamilton, and Miss Jennings, he could have any inclination 
 for such a creature ; but they soon perceived that something 
 more than unaccountable variety had a great share in effecting 
 this conquest. 
 
 The duchess beheld with indignation a choice which seemed 
 to debase her own merit in a much greater degree than any of 
 the former ; at the very instant that indignation and jealousy 
 began to provoke her spleen, perfidious Cupid threw in the 
 way of her passions and resentments the amiable, handsome 
 Sidney ; and, whilst he kept her eyes fixed upon his personal 
 perfections, diverted her attention from perceiving the defi- 
 ciency of his mental accomplishments : she was wounded be- 
 fore she was aware of her danger ; but the good opinion Sidney 
 had of his own merit did not suffer him long to be ignorant of 
 such a glorious conquest ; and, in order more effectually to 
 secure it, his eyes rashly answered everything which those of 
 her royal highness had the kindness to tell him, whilst his per- 
 sonal accomplishments were carefully heightened by all the 
 advantages of dress and show. 
 
 The duchess, foreseeing the consequences of such an engage- 
 ment, strongly combated the inclination that hurried her 
 away ; but Miss Hobart, siding with that inclination, argued 
 the matter with her scruples, and, in the end, really vanquished 
 them. This girl had insinuated herself into her royal highness'^ 
 confidence by a fund of news with which she was provided the 
 whole year round : the court and the city supplied her ; nor 
 was it very material to her whether her stories were true or 
 false, her chief care being that they should prove agreeable to 
 her mistress : she knew, likewise, how to gratify her palate, and 
 
 20—2 
 
308 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 constantly provided a variety of those dishes and liquors which 
 she liked best. These qualifications had rendered her neces- 
 sary ; but, desirous of being still more so, and ha^?ing perceived 
 both the airs that Sidney gave himself, and what was passing 
 in the heart of her mistress, the cunning Hobart took the liberty 
 of telling her royal highness that this unfortunate youth was 
 pining away solely on her account ; that it was a thousand 
 pities a man of his figure should lose the respect for her which 
 was most certainly her due, merely because she had reduced 
 him to such a state that he could no longer preserve it ; that 
 he was gradually dying away on her account, in the sight of 
 the whole court ; that his situation would soon be generally re- 
 marked, except she made use of the proper means to prevent 
 it; that, in her opinion, her royal highness ought to pity the 
 miserable situation into which her charms had reduced him, 
 and to endeavour to alleviate his pain in some way or other. 
 The duchess asked her what she meant by " endeavouring to 
 alleviate his pain in some way or other." " I mean, madam," 
 answered Miss Hobart, " that, if either his person be disagree- 
 able, or his passion troublesome, you will give him his dis- 
 charge ; or, if you choose to retain him in your service, as all 
 the princesses in the world would do in your place, you will 
 permit me to give him directions from you for his future con- 
 duct, mixed with a few grains of hope, to prevent his entirely 
 losing his senses, until you find a proper occasion yourself to 
 acquaint him with your wishes." "What!" said the duchess, 
 "would you advise me, Hobart — you, who really love me — to 
 engage in an affair of this nature, at the expense of my honour, 
 and the hazard of a thousand inconveniences ! If such frailties 
 are sometimes excusable, they certainly are not so in the high 
 station in which I am placed; and it would be an ill-requital on 
 my part for his goodness who raised me to the rank I now fill. 
 
MEMOIES OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 309 
 
 to— — " " All this is very fine/' interrupted Miss Hobart : " but 
 is it not very well known that he only married you because he 
 was importuned so to do ? Since that I refer to yourself whether 
 he has ever restrained his inclination a single moment, giving 
 you the most convincing proofs of the change that has taken 
 place in his heart, by a thousand provoking infidelities ? Is 
 it still your intention to persevere in a state of indolence and 
 humility, whilst the duke, after having received the favours, 
 or suffered the repulses, of all the coquettes in England, pays 
 his addresses to the maids of honour, one after the other, and 
 at present places his whole ambition and desires in the con- 
 quest of that ugly skeleton, Churchill ? What ! Madam, 
 must then your prime of life be spent in a sort of widowhood 
 in deploring your misfortunes, without ever being permitted 
 to make use of any remedy that may offer ? A woman must 
 be endowed with insuperable patience, or with an inexhaustible 
 degree of resignation, to bear this. Can a husband, who dis- 
 regards you both night and day, really suppose, because his 
 wife eats and drinks heartily, as, God be thanked, your royal 
 highness does, that she wants nothing else than to sleep well 
 too ? Faith, such conduct is too bad : I therefore once more 
 repeat that there is not a princess in the universe w^ho would 
 refuse the homage of a man like Sidney, when a husband pays 
 his addresses elsewhere." 
 
 These reasons were certainly not morally good ; but had 
 they been still worse the duchess would have yielded to them, 
 so much did her heart act in concert with Miss Hobart, to 
 overthrow her discretion and prudence. 
 
 This intrigue began at the very time that Miss Hobart advised 
 Miss Temple not to give any encouragement to the addresses 
 of the handsome Sidney. As for him, no sooner was he in- 
 formed by the confidant Hobart that the goddess accepted his 
 
310 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 adoration than he immediately began to be particularly re- 
 served and circumspect in his behaviour, in order to divert the 
 attention of the public ; but the public is not so easily deceived 
 as some people imagine. 
 
 As there were too many spies, too many inquisitive people 
 and critics, in a numerous court, residing in the midst of a 
 populous city, the duchess to avoid exposing the inclinations 
 of her heart to the scrutiny of so many inquisitors, engaged the 
 Duke of York to undertake the journey before mentioned, 
 whilst the queen and her court were at Tunbridge. 
 
 This conduct was prudent ; and, if agreeable to her, was far 
 from displeasing to any of her court, except Miss Jennings: 
 Jermyn was not of the party ; and, in her opinion, every party 
 was insipid in which he was not one of the company. He had 
 engaged himself in an enterprise above his strength, in laying a 
 wager which the Chevalier de Grammont had laid before, and 
 lost. He betted five hundred guineas that he would ride twenty 
 miles in one hour upon the same horse, in the high road. The 
 day he had fixed upon for this race was the very same in 
 which Miss Jennings went to the fortune-teller's. 
 
 Jermyn was more fortunate than her in this undertaking : 
 he came off victorious ; but as his courage had far exceeded 
 the strength of his constitution in this exertion to win the 
 wager, he got a violent fever into the bargain, which brought 
 him very low. Miss Jennings inquired after his health ; but 
 that was all she dared to do. In modern romances, a princess 
 need only pay a visit to some hero, abandoned by his physi- 
 cians, a perfect cure would be wrought in three days ; but 
 since Miss Jennings had not been the cause of Jermyn's fever, 
 she was not certain of relieving him from it, although she had 
 been sure that a charitable visit would not have been censured 
 in a malicious court. Without therefore paying any attention 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 311 
 
 to the uneasiness she might feel upon the occasion, the court 
 set out without him : she had, however, the gratification to 
 testify her ill-humour throughout the whole journey, by 
 appearing displeased with everything which seemed to afford , 
 satisfaction to all the rest of the company. 
 
 Talbot made one of the company ; and flattering himseK 
 that the absence of a dangerous rival might produce some 
 change in his favour, he was attentive to all the actions, mo- 
 tions, and even gestures, of his former mistress. There was 
 certainly enough fully to employ his attention : it was con- 
 trary to her disposition to remain long in a serious humour. 
 Her natural vivacity hurried her away, from being seemingly 
 lost in thought, into sallies of wit, which afforded him hopes 
 that she would soon forget Jermyn, and remember that his 
 •own passion was the first she had encouraged. However, he 
 kept his distance, notwithstanding his love and his hopes, 
 being of opinion that it ill became an injured lover to betray 
 either the least weakness, or the smallest return of affection, 
 for an ungrateful mistress, who had deserted him. 
 
 Miss Jennings was so far from thinking of his resentments, 
 that she did not even recollect he had ever paid his addresses 
 to her; and her thoughts being wholly occupied upon the 
 poor sick man, she conducted herself towards Talbot as if 
 they never had had anything to say to each other. It was to 
 him that she most usually gave her hand, either in getting 
 into or out of the coach ; she conversed more readily with 
 him than any other person, and, without intending it, did 
 everything to make the court believe she was cured of her 
 passion for Jermyn in favour of her former lover. 
 
 Of this he seemed likewise convinced, as well as the rest . 
 and thinking it now proper to act another part, in order to let 
 her know that his sentiments with respect to her were still 
 
312 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 the same, he had resolved to address her in the most tender 
 and affectionate manner upon this subject. Fortune seemed 
 to have favoured him, and to have smoothed the way for this 
 intended harangue : he was alone with her in her chamber ; 
 and, what was still better, she was rallying him concerning 
 Miss Boynton; saying, "that they were undoubtedly much 
 obliged to him for attending them on their journey, whilst 
 poor Miss Boynton had fainting fits at Tunbridge, at least 
 twice every day, for love of him." Upon this discourse, Talbot 
 thought it right to begin the recital of his sufferings and fidelity, 
 when Miss Temple, with a paper in her hand, entered the 
 room. This was a letter in verse, which Lord Eochester had 
 written some time before, upon the intrigues of the two courts ; 
 wherein, upon the subject of Miss Jennings, he said : " that 
 Talbot had struck terror among the people of God, by hi& 
 gigantic stature ; but that Jermyn, like a little David, had 
 vanquished the great Goliath." Jennings, delighted with this 
 allusion, read it over two or three times, thought it more en- 
 tertaining than Talbot's conversation, at first heartily laughed 
 at it, but soon after, with a tender air, " Poor little David I" 
 said she, with a deep sigh, and turning her head on one side 
 during this short reverie, she shed a few tears, which assuredly 
 did not flow for the defeat of the giant. This stung Talbot ta 
 the quick ; and, seeing liimself so ridiculously deceived in his 
 hopes, he went abruptly out of the room, vowing never ta 
 think any more of a giddy girl, whose conduct was regulated 
 neither by sense nor reason ; but he did not keep his resolution. 
 The other votaries of love, who were numerous in this court, 
 were more successful, the journey being undertaken solely on 
 that account. There were continual balls and entertainments 
 upon the road ; hunting, and all other diversions, wherever 
 the court halted in its progress. The tender lovers flattered 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 313 
 
 themselves with the thought of being able to crown their hap- , 
 piness as they proceeded in their journey ; and the beauties 
 who governed their destiny did not forbid them to hope. Sid- 
 ney paid his court with wonderful assiduity: the duchess made 
 the duke take notice of his late perfect devotion to his service: 
 his royal highness observed it, and agreed that he ought to be 
 remembered upon the first opportunity, which happened soon 
 after. 
 
 Montagu, as before mentioned, was master of the horse to 
 the duchess : he was possessed of a great deal of wit, had much 
 penetration, and loved mischief. How could she bear such a 
 man near her person, in the present situation of her heart ? 
 This greatly embarrassed her; but Montagu's elder brother 
 having, very a-propos, got himself killed where he had no 
 business,* the duke obtained for Montagu the post of master 
 of the horse to the queen, which the deceased enjoyed ; and 
 the handsome Sidney was appointed to succeed him in the 
 same employment to the duchess. All this happened accord- 
 ing to her wish ; and the duke was highly pleased that he had 
 found means to promote these two gentlemen at once, without 
 being at the least expense. 
 
 Miss Hobart greatly applauded these promotions : she had 
 frequent and long conversations with Sidney, which, being 
 
 * Montagu's elder brother was killed before Bergen, about August, 
 1665. See Arlington's Letters, vol. ii. p. 87. His name was Edward. 
 Boyer, who in his Life of Queen Anne, has made several mistakes about 
 him, says he was dismissed for offending her majesty, by squeezing her 
 hand. Probably he was disgraced for a time, and on that account went 
 abroad. — See Continuation of Clarendon, p. 292. 
 He is mentioned in the State Poems as 
 
 Montagu, by court disaster, 
 
 Dwindled into the wooden horse's master. 
 
 Advice to a Painter, Part i. 
 
314 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 remarked, some did her the honour to believe it was upon her 
 own account ; and the compliments that were made her upon 
 the occasion she most willingly received. The duke, who be- 
 lieved it at first, observed to the duchess the unaccountable 
 taste of certain persons, and how the handsomest young fellow 
 in England was infatuated with such a frightful creature. 
 
 The duchess confessed that taste was very arbitrary ; the 
 truth whereof he himself seemed to be convinced of, since he 
 had fixed upon the beauteous Helen for his mistress. I know 
 not whether this raillery caused him to reflect for what reasons 
 he had made his choice ; but it is certain he began to cool in 
 his affections for Miss Churchill ; and perhaps be would en- 
 tirely have abandoned this pursuit, had not an accident taken 
 place, which raised in him an entirely new inclination for her. 
 
 The court having halted for a few days in a fine open 
 country, the duchess was desirous of seeing a greyhound 
 course. This diversion is practised in England upon large 
 downs, where the turf, eaten by the sheep, is particularly 
 green, and wonderfully even. She was in her coach, and all 
 the ladies on horseback, every one of them being attended by 
 her squire ; it therefore was but reasonable that the mistress 
 should likewise have her squire. He accordingly was at the 
 side of her coach, and seemed to compensate for his deficiencies 
 in conversation, by the uncommon beauty of his mien and 
 figure. 
 
 The duke attended Miss Churchill, not for the sake of 
 besieging her with soft flattering tales of love, but, on the con- 
 trary, to chide her for sitting so ill on horseback : She was 
 one of the most indolent creatures in the world ; and although 
 the maids of honour are generally the worst mounted of the 
 whole court, yet, in order to distinguish her, on account of the 
 favour she enjoyed, they had given her a very pretty, though 
 
MEMOIES OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 315 
 
 rather a high-spirited horse ; a distinction she would very 
 willingly have excused them. 
 
 The embarrassment and fear she was under had added to 
 her natural paleness. In this situation, her countenance had 
 almost completed the duke's disgust, when her horse, desirous 
 of keeping pace with the others, set off in a gallop, notwith- 
 standing her greatest efforts to prevent it ; and her endeavours 
 to hold him in, firing his mettle, he at length set off at full 
 speed, as if he was running a race against the duke's horse. 
 
 Miss Churchill lost her seat, screamed out, and fell from 
 her horse. A fall in so quick a pace must have been violent ; 
 and yet it proved favourable to her in every respect ; for, with- 
 out receiving any hurt, she gave the lie to all the unfavourable 
 suppositions that had been formed of her person, in judging 
 from her face. The duke alighted, in order to help her : she 
 was so greatly stunned, that her thoughts were otherwise em- 
 ployed than about decency on the present occasion ; and those 
 who first crowded around her found her rather in a negligent 
 posture : they could hardly believe that limbs of such ex- 
 quisite beauty could belong to Miss Churchill's face. After 
 this accident, it was remarked that the duke's tenderness and 
 affection for her increased every day; and, towards the end of 
 the winter, it appeared that she had not tyrannized over his 
 passion, nor made him languish with impatience. 
 
 The two courts returned to London much about the same 
 time, equally satisfied with their respective excursions ; though 
 the queen was disappointed in the hopes she had entertained 
 of the good effects of the Tunbridge waters. 
 
 It was about this time that the Chevalier de Grammont 
 received a letter from the Marchioness de Saint-Chaumont, 
 his sister, acquainting him, that he might return when he 
 thought proper, the king having given him leave. He would 
 
316 MEMOIES OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 have received this news with joy at any other time, whatever 
 had been the charms of the English court ; but, in the present 
 situation of his heart, he could not resolve to quit it. 
 
 He had returned from Tunbridge a thousand times deeper 
 in love than ever ; for, during this agreeable excursion, he had 
 every day seen Miss Hamilton, either in the marshes of melan- 
 choly Peckham. or in the delicious walks of cheerful Summer- 
 hill, or in the daily diversions and entertainments of the 
 queen's court ; and whether he saw her on horseback, heard 
 her conversation, or observed her in the dance, still he was 
 persuaded that Heaven had never formed an object in every 
 respect more worthy of the love, and more deserving of the affec- 
 tion, of a man of sense and delicacy. How then was it pos- 
 sible for him to bear the thoughts of leaving her ? This ap- 
 peared to him absolutely impracticable ; however, as he was 
 desirous of making a merit with her, of the determination he 
 had made to neglect his fortune, rather than to be separated 
 from her charms, he showed her his sister's letter : but this 
 confidence had not the success he expected. 
 
 Miss Hamilton, in the first place, congratulated him upon his 
 recall : She returned him many thanks for the sacrifice he in- 
 tended to make her ; but as this testimony of affection greatly 
 exceeded the bounds of mere gallantry, however sensibly she 
 might feel this mark of his tenderness, she was, however, deter- 
 mined not to abuse it. In vain did he protest that he would 
 rather meet death than part from her irresistible charms ; and 
 her irresistible charms protested that he should never see 
 them more, unless he departed immediately. Thus was he 
 forced to obey. However, he was allowed to flatter himself, 
 that these positive orders, how harsh soever they might appear, 
 did not flow from indifference ; that she would always be more 
 pleased with his return than with his departure, for which she 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 317 
 
 was now so urgent ; and having generously given him assur- 
 ances that, so far as depended upon herself, he would find, 
 upon his return, no variation in her sentiments during his 
 absence, he took leave of his friends, thinking of nothing but 
 his return, at the very time he was making preparations for 
 his departure. 
 
318 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 CHAPTER XI. 
 
 The nearer the Chevalier de Crammont approached the court 
 of France, the more did he regret his absence from that of 
 England ; not but that he expected a gracious reception at 
 the feet of his master, whose anger no one provoked with im- 
 punity ; but who likewise knew how to pardon, in such a 
 manner as to make the favour he conferred in every respect to 
 be felt. 
 
 A thousand different thoughts occupied his mind upon the 
 journey : Sometimes he reflected upon the joy and satisfaction 
 his friends and relations would experience upon his return ; 
 sometimes upon the congratulations and embraces of those 
 who, being neither the one nor the other, would, nevertheless, 
 overwhelm him with impertinent compliments : All these 
 ideas passed quickly through his head ; for a man deeply in 
 love makes it a scruple of conscience not to suffer any other 
 thoughts to dwell upon his mind than those of the object 
 beloved. It was then the tender, endearing remembrance of 
 what he had left in London that diverted his thoughts from 
 Paris ; and it was the torments of absence that prevented his 
 feeling those of the bad roads and the bad horses. His heart 
 protested to Miss Hamilton, between Montreuil and Abbeville 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 319 
 
 that he only tore himself from her with such haste, to return 
 the sooner ; after which, by a short reflection, comparing the 
 regret he had formerly felt upon the same road, in quitting 
 France for England, with^that which he now experienced, in 
 quitting England for France, he found the last much more 
 insupportable than the former. 
 
 It is thus that a man in love entertains himself upon the 
 road; or rather, it is thus that a trifling writer abuses the 
 patience of his reader, either to display his own sentiments, or 
 to lengthen out a tedious story ; but God forbid that this 
 character should apply to ourselves, since we profess to insert 
 nothing in these memoirs, but what we have heard from the 
 mouth of him whose actions and sayings we transmit to pos- 
 terity. 
 
 Who, except Squire Feraulas, has ever been able to keep a 
 register of all the thoughts, sighs, and exclamations, of his 
 illustrious master ? For my own part, I should never have 
 thought that the attention of the Count de Grammont, which 
 is at present so sensible to inconveniences and dangers, would 
 have ever permitted him to entertain amorous thoughts upon 
 the road, if he did not himself dictate to me what I am now 
 writing. 
 
 But let us speak of him at Abbeville. The postmaster 
 was his old acquaintance : His hotel was the best provided 
 of any between Calais and Paris ; and the Chevalier de Gram- 
 mont, alighting, told Termes he would drink a glass of wine 
 during the time they were changing horses. It was about 
 noon ; and, since the preceding night, when they had landed 
 at Calais, until this instant, they had not eat a single mouth- 
 ful. Termes, praising the Lord, that natural feelings had for 
 once prevailed over the inhumanity of his usual impatience, 
 confirmed him as much as possible in such reasonable senti- 
 ments. 
 
320 ' MEMOIRS OF COUNT GEAMMONT. 
 
 Upon their entering the kitchen, where the Chevalier gener- 
 ally paid his first visit, they were surprised to see half a 
 dozen spits loaded with game at the fire, and every other 
 preparation for a magnificent entertainment. The heart of 
 Termes leaped for joy : he gave private orders to the hostler 
 to pull the shoes off some of the horses, that he might not 
 he forced away from this place before he had satisfied his 
 craving appetite. 
 
 Soon after, a number of violins and hautboys, attended by 
 all the mob of the town, entered the court. The landlord, 
 being asked the reason of these great preparations, acquainted 
 the Chevalier de Grammont that they were for the wedding 
 of one of the most wealthy gentlemen in the neighbourhood, 
 with one of the handsomest girls in the whole province ; 
 that the entertainment was to be at his house ; and that, if 
 his lordship chose to stop, in a very short time he would see 
 the new-married couple arrive from the church, since the 
 music was already come. He was right in his conjectures ; 
 for these words were scarce out of his mouth, when three 
 uncommonly large coaches, loaded with lackeys, as tall as 
 Swiss, with most gaudy liveries, all covered with lace, ap- 
 peared in the court, and disembarked the whole wedding 
 company. Never was country magnificence more naturally 
 displayed : Eusty tinsel, tarnished lace, striped silks, little 
 eyes, and full swelling breasts, appeared on every side. 
 
 If the first sight of the procession surprised the Chevalier 
 de Grammont, faithful Termes was no less astonished at the 
 second. The little that was to be seen of the bride's face 
 appeared not without beauty; but no judgment could be 
 formed of the remainder : Four dozen of patches, at least, 
 and ten ringlets of hair, on each side, most completely con- 
 cealed her from all human eyes ; but it was the bridegroom 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT, 321 
 
 who most particularly attracted the Chevalier de G-rammont's 
 attention. 
 
 He was as ridiculously dressed as the rest of the company, 
 except a coat of the greatest magnificence, and of the most 
 exquisite taste. The Chevalier de Grammont, walking up to 
 him to examine his dress, began to commend the embroidery 
 of his coat. The bridegroom thought himself much honoured 
 by this examination, and told him he bought it for one hun- 
 dred and fifty louis, at the time he was paying his addresses 
 to his wife. " Then you did not get it made here V said the 
 Chevalier de G-rammorit. " N'o," replied the other ; " I bought 
 it of a London merchant, who had ordered it for an English 
 lord." The Chevalier de Grammont, who now began to 
 perceive in what manner the adventure would end, asked 
 him if he should recollect the merchant if he saw him 
 again ? " Eecollect him !" replied the other, " I surely ought ; 
 for I was obliged to sit up drinking with him all night at 
 Calais, as I was endeavouring to beat down the price." Termes 
 had vanished out of sight as soon as ever this coat appeared, 
 though he little supposed that the cursed bridegroom would 
 have any conversation concerning it with his master. 
 
 The Chevalier's thoughts were some time wavering between 
 his inclination to laugh, and a desire of hanging Master 
 Termes ; but the long habit of suffering himself to be robbed 
 by his domestics, together with the vigilance of the criminal, 
 whom his master could not reproach with having slept in his 
 service, inclined him to clemency ; and yielding to the impor- 
 tunities of the country gentleman, in order to confound his 
 faithful servant, he sat down to table, to make the thirty- 
 seventh of the company. 
 
 A short time after, he desired one of the waiters to caU 
 for a gentleman whose name was Termes. He immediately 
 
 21 
 
322 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 appeared ; and as soon as the master of the feast saw him, he 
 rose from table, and offering him his hand ; " Welcome, my 
 friend," said he ; " you see that I have taken good care of the 
 coat which you sold me with so much reluctance, and that I 
 have kept it for a good purpose." 
 
 Termes, having put on a face of brass, pretended not to 
 know him, and pushed him back with some degree of rude- 
 ness. " No, no !" said the other ; " since I was obliged to 
 sit up with you the whole night, in order to strike the bar- 
 gain, you shall pledge me in the bride's health." The Cheva- 
 lier de Grammont, who saw that Termes was disconcerted, 
 notwithstanding his impudence, said to him with a smile : 
 " Come, come, my good London merchant, sit down, as you 
 are so civilly invited : we are not so crowded at table but 
 that there will be room enough for such an honest gentleman 
 as yourself." At these words five-and-thirty of the guests 
 were in motion to receive this new visitor : the bride alone, 
 out of an idea of decorum, remained seated ; and the audacious 
 Termes, having swallowed the first shame of this adventure, 
 began to lay about him at such a rate, as if it had been his 
 intention to swallow all the wine provided for the wedding, 
 if his master had not risen from the table as they were taking 
 off four-and-twenty soups, to serve up as many other dishes in 
 their stead. 
 
 The company were not so unreasonable as to desire a man 
 who was in such haste to remain to the end of a wedding din- 
 ner ; but they all got up when he arose from table, and all 
 that he could obtain from the bridegroom was that the com- 
 pany should not attend him to the gate of the inn. As for 
 Termes, he wished they had not quitted him till the end of 
 their journey, so much did he dread being left alone with his 
 master. 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 323 
 
 They had advanced some distance from Abbeville, and were 
 proceeding on in the most profound silence, when Termes, who 
 expected an end to it in a short time, was only solicitous in 
 what manner it might happen, whether his master would 
 attack him with a torrent of invectives, and certain epithets 
 which were most justly his due, or whether, in an insulting, 
 ironical manner, he might make use of such commendations 
 as were most likely to confound him ; but finding, instead of 
 either, that he remained in sullen silence, he thought it prudent 
 rather to prevent the speech the Chevalier was meditating than 
 to suffer him to think longer about it ; and, accordingly, arm- 
 ing himself with all his effrontery : " You seem to be very 
 angry. Sir," said he, " and I suppose you think you have rea- 
 son for being so ; but the devil take me, if you are not mistaken 
 in reality." 
 
 " How ! traitor ! in reality ?" said the Chevalier de G-ram- 
 mont. " It is then because I have not had thee well thrashed, 
 as thou hast for a long time merited." " Look ye, Sir," replied 
 Termes, " you always run into a passion, instead of listening 
 to reason ! Yes, Sir, I mauitain that what I did was for your 
 benefit." " And was not the quicksand likewise for my ser- 
 vice ?" said the ChevaKer de G-rammont. " Have patience, if 
 you please," pursued the other : " I know not how that simple- 
 ton of a bridegroom happened to be at the custom-house when 
 my portmanteau was examined at Calais: but these silly 
 cuckolds thrust in their noses everywhere. As soon as ever 
 he saw your coat, he fell in love mth it. I immediately per- 
 ceived he was a fool; for he fell down upon his knees, beseech- 
 ing me to sell it him. Besides being greatly rumpled in the 
 portmanteau, it was all stained in front by the sweat of the 
 horses. I wonder how the devil he has managed to get it 
 cleaned ; but, faith, I am the greatest scoundrel in the world, 
 
 21—2 
 
324 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 if you would ever have put it on. In a word, it cost you one 
 hundred and forty louis d'ors, and seeing he offered me one hun- 
 dred and fifty for it ; 'My master/ said I, 'has no occasion for 
 this tinselled bauble to distinguish him at the ball ; and, 
 although he was pretty full of cash when I left him, how know 
 I in what situation he may be upon my return ? there is no 
 certainty at play/ To be brief, Sir, I got ten louis d'ors for it 
 more than it cost you : this you see is all clear profit: I will be 
 accountable to you for it, and you know that I am sufficiently 
 substantial to make good such a sum. Confess now, do you 
 think you would have appeared to greater advantage at the 
 ball, if you had been dressed out in that damned coat, which 
 would have made you look just like the village bridegroom to 
 whom we sold it ? and yet how you stormed at London when 
 you thought it lost ; what fine stories you told the king about 
 the quicksand ; and how churlish you looked, when you first 
 began to suppose that this country looby wore it at his 
 wedding !" 
 
 What could the Chevalier reply to such uncommon impu- 
 dence ? If he indulged his resentment, he must either have 
 most severely bastinadoed him, or he must have discarded 
 him, as the easiest escape the rogue could expect ; but he had 
 occasion for him during the remainder of his journey ; and, as 
 soon as he was at Paris, he had occasion for him for his return. 
 
 The Marechal de Grammont had no sooner notice of liis 
 arrival than he went to him at the hotel ; and, the first em- 
 braces being over on both sides, " Chevalier," said the Mare- 
 chal, "how many days have you been in coming from London 
 hither ? for God knows at what a rate you travel on such oc- 
 casions." The Chevalier told him he had been three days 
 upon the road ; and, to excuse himself for making no more 
 haste, he related to him his AbbeviUe adventure. " It is a 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GEAMMONT. 325 
 
 very entertaining one," said his brother ; " but what is yet 
 more entertaining is, that it will be your fault if you do not find 
 your coat still at table ; for the country gentry are not accus- 
 tomed to rise very soon from a wedding dinner." And then, 
 in a very serious tone, told him, " he knew not who had ad- 
 vised him to this unexpected return, which might probably 
 ruin all his affairs ; but he had orders from the king to bid him 
 go back again without appearing at court. He told him after- 
 wards that he was very much astonished at his impatience, as, 
 till this time, he had conducted himself uncommonly well, 
 and was sufficiently acquainted with the king's temper to 
 know that the only way to merit his pardon was to wait until 
 it freely came from his clemency." 
 
 The Chevalier, in justification of his conduct, produced 
 Madame de Saint Chaumont's letter, and told the Mardchal 
 that he would very willingly have spared her the trouble of 
 writing him such kind of news, to occasion him so useless a 
 journey. " Still more indiscretion," replied his brother ; "for, 
 pray how long has our sister being either secretary of state or 
 minister, that she should be employed by the king to make 
 known his majesty's order ? Do you wish to know the real 
 state of the case ? Some time ago the king told Madame^ 
 
 * Henrietta, youngest daughter of Charles the First, born at Exeter 
 16th June, 1644, from whence she was removed to London in 1646, and, 
 with her governess, Lady Dalkeith, soon afterwards conveyed to France . 
 On the restoration, she came over to England with her mother, but 
 returned to France in about six months, and was married to Philip, 
 Duke of Orleans, only brother of Louis XI Y. In May, 1670, she came 
 again to Dover, on a mission of a political nature, it is supposed, from 
 the French king to her brother, in which she was successful. She died, 
 soon after her return to France, suddenly, not without suspicion of 
 having been poisoned by her husband. King James, in his Diary, says, 
 '* On the 22d of June, the news of the Duchess of Orleans' death arrived. 
 It was suspected that counter-poisons were given her ; but when she 
 
326 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 liow you had refused the pension the King of England offered 
 you : he appeared pleased with the manner in which Com- 
 minges had related to him the circumstances attending it, and 
 said he was pleased with you for it : Madame interpreted this 
 as an order for your recal ; and Madame de Saint Chaumont 
 being very far from possessing that wonderful discretion she 
 imagines herself mistress of, she hastened to despatch to you 
 this consequential order in her own hand. To conclude ; 
 Madame said yesterday, when the king was at dinner, that you 
 would very soon be here ; and the king, as soon as dinner was 
 over, commanded me to send you back as soon as you arrived. 
 Here you are ; set off again immediately." 
 
 This order might have appeared severe to the Chevalier de 
 Grammont at any other time ; but, in the present state of his 
 heart, he soon resolved upon obeying. I^othing gave him un- 
 easiness but the officious advice which had obliged him to 
 leave the English court ; and being entirely unconcerned that 
 he was not allowed to see the French court before his depar- 
 ture, he only desired the Marechal to obtain leave for him to 
 stay a few days to collect in some play debts which were 
 owing him. This request was granted, on condition that he 
 should not remain in Paris. 
 
 He chose Vaugirard for his retreat : it was there that he 
 had several adventures which he so often related in so humo- 
 
 was opened, in the presence of the English ambassador, the Earl of 
 Ailesbury, an English physician and surgeon, there appeared no grounds, 
 of suspicion of any foul play. Yet Bucks talked openly that she was 
 poisoned ; and was so violent as to propose to foreign ministers to make 
 war on France." — Macpherson^s Origiiial Paj^ers, vol. i. At the end 
 of Lord Arlington's Letters are five very remarkable ones from a person 
 of quality, who is said to have been actually on the spot, giving a par- 
 ticular relation of her death. 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 327 
 
 rous and diverting a manner, that it would be tedious to repeat 
 them ; there it was that he administered the sacrament in so 
 solemn a manner, that, as there did not remain a sufficient 
 number of Swiss at Yersailles to guard the chapel, Yardes was 
 obliged to acquaint the king that they were all gone to the 
 Chevalier de Grammont, who was administering the sacrament 
 at Vaugirard : there likewise happened that wonderful adven- 
 ture which threw the first slur upon the reputation of the 
 great Saucourt, when, having a tete-a-tete with the gardener's 
 daughter, the horn, which was agreed upon as the signal to 
 prevent surprises, was sounded so often, that the frequent 
 alarms cooled the courage of the celebrated Saucourt, and 
 rendered useless the assignation that was procured for him with 
 one of the prettiest girls in the neighbourhood. It was, Kke- 
 wise, during his stay at Vaugirard, that he paid a visit to 
 Mademoiselle de I'Hopital at Issy, to inquire into the truth of 
 a report of an amour between her and a man of the long robe > 
 and it was there that, on his arriving unexpectedly, the Pre- 
 sident de Maisons was forced to take refuge in a closet, with 
 so much precipitation, that half of his robe remained on the 
 outside when he shut the door ; while the Chevalier de Gram- 
 mont, who observed it, made his visit excessively long, in 
 order to keep the two lovers upon the rack. 
 
 His business being settled, he set out for England on the 
 wings of love. Termes redoubled his vigilance upon the road. 
 The post horses were ready in an instant at every stage : the 
 winds and tides favoured his impatience; and he reached 
 London with the highest satisfaction. The court was both 
 surprised and charmed at his sudden return. 'No person con- 
 doled with him upon his late disappointment, which had occa- 
 sioned him to come back, as he testified no manner of uneasi- 
 ness concerning it himself : nor was Miss Hamilton in the 
 
328 MEMOIES OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 least displeased at his readiness in obeying the orders of the 
 king his master. 
 
 Nothing new had happened in the English court during his 
 short absence ; but it assumed a different aspect soon after his 
 return : I mean with respect to love and pleasure, which 
 were the most serious concerns of the court during the greatest 
 part of this gay reign. 
 
 The Duke of Monmouth,"^ natural son to Charles the Second, 
 now made his first appearance in his father's court. His en- 
 trance upon the stage of the world was so brilliant, his ambi- 
 
 * James Duke of Monmoiitli, was the son of Charles the II., by one 
 Lucy Walters. He was born at Eotterdam, April 9, 1649, and bore the 
 na me of James Crofts until the restoration. His education was chiefly 
 at Paris, under the eye of the queen-mother, and the government of 
 Thomas Ross, Esq., who was afterwards secretary to Mr. Coventry 
 during his embassy in Sweden. At the restoration, he was brought to 
 England, and received with joy by his father, who heaped honours and 
 riches upon him, which were not sufficient to satisfy his ambitious views. 
 To exclude his uncle, the Duke of York, from the throne, he was con- 
 tinually intriguing with the opposers of government, and was frequently 
 in disgrace with his sovereign. On the accession of James II. he made 
 an inefiectual attempt to raise a rebellion, was taken prisoner, and 
 beheaded on Tower-hill, 15th July, 1685. Mr. Macpherson has drawn 
 his character in the following terms : " Monmouth, highly beloved by 
 the populace, was a fit instrument to carry forward his (z. e. Shaftes- 
 bury's) designs. To a gracefulness which prejudiced mankind in his 
 favour as soon as seen, he joined an affability which gained their love. 
 Constant in his friendships, and just to his word, by nature tender, and 
 an utter enemy to severity and cruelty, active and vigorous in his con- 
 stitution, he excelled in the manly exercises of the field. He was per- 
 sonally brave. He loved the pomp and the very dangers of war. But 
 with these splendid qualities, he was vain to a degree of folly, versatile 
 in his measures, weak in his understanding. He was ambitious without 
 dignity, busy without consequence, attempting ever to be artful, but 
 always a fool. Thus, taking the applause of the multitude for a certain 
 mark of merit, he was the dupe of his own vanity, and owed all his mis- 
 fortunes to that weakness." — History of England, vol. i., chap. iii. 
 
i.VTT w\_\jn.^C)^v^u-u,j^^-^v{^:' -^\^ate:rs 
 

 'J3 1^ ik:e. n 1^ >i vf.) ^ i>i n T- ' p 11 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 329 
 
 tion had occasioned so many considerable events, and the par- 
 ticulars of his tragical end are so recent, that it were needless 
 to produce any other traits to give a sketch of his character. 
 By the whole tenor of his life, he appeared to "be rash in his 
 undertakings, irresolute in the execution, and dejected in his 
 misfortunes, in which, at least, an undaunted resolution ought 
 to equal the greatness of the attempt. 
 
 His figure and the exterior graces of his person were such, 
 that nature perhaps never formed anything more complete : 
 His face was extremely handsome ; and yet it was a manly 
 face, neither inanimate nor effeminate ; each feature having its 
 beauty and peculiar delicacy : He had a wonderful genius for 
 every sort of exercise, an engaging aspect, and an air of gran- 
 deur : in a word, he possessed every personal advantage ; but 
 then he was greatly deficient in mental accomplishments. He 
 had no sentiments but such as others inspired him with ; and 
 those who first insinuated themselves into his friendship, took 
 care to inspire him with none but such as were pernicious. 
 The astonishing beauty of his outward form caused universal 
 admiration : those who before were looked upon as handsome 
 were now entirely forgotten at court : and all the gay and 
 beautiful of the fair sex were at his devotion. He was parti- 
 cularly beloved by the king ; but the universal terror of hus- 
 bands and lovers. This, however, did not long continue ; for 
 nature not having endowed him with qualifications to secure 
 the possession of the heart, the fair sex soon perceived the 
 -defect. 
 
 The Duchess of Cleveland was out of humour with the 
 king, because the children she had by his majesty were like 
 so many little puppets, compared to this new Adonis. She 
 was the more particularly hurt, as she might have boasted of 
 being the queen of love, in comparison with the duke's mother. 
 
330 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 The king, however, laughed at her reproaches, as, for some tinie, 
 she had certainly no right to make any ; and, as this piece of 
 jealousy appeared to be more ill-founded than any she had 
 formerly affected, no person approved of her ridiculous resent- 
 ment. Not succeeding in this, she formed another scheme to 
 give the king uneasiness : Instead of opposing his extreme 
 tenderness for his son, she pretended to adopt him, in her affec- 
 tion, by a thousand commendations and caresses, which she 
 was daily and continually increasing. As these endearments 
 were public, she imagined they could not be suspected ; but 
 she was too well known for her real design to be mistaken. 
 The king was no longer jealous of her ; but, as the Duke of 
 Monmouth was of an age not to be insensible to the attractions 
 of a woman possessing so many charms, he thought it proper to 
 withdraw him from this pretended mother-in-law, to preserve 
 his innocence, or at least his fame, uncontaminated : it was 
 for this reason, therefore, that the king married him so young. 
 An heiress of five thousand pounds a-year in Scotland,^ 
 
 * This was Lady Anne Scott, daughter and sole heir of Francis, Earl 
 of Buccleiigh, only son and heir of Walter, Lord Scott, created Earl of 
 Buccleugh in 1619. On their marriage the duke took the surname of 
 Scott, and he and his lady were created Duke and Duchess of Buccleugh, 
 Earl and Countess of Dalkeith, Baron and Baroness of Whitchester and 
 Ashdale in Scotland, by letters patent, dated April 20th, 1673. Also, 
 two days after he was installed at Windsor, the king and queen, the 
 Duke of York, and most of the court being present. The next day, 
 being St. George's day, his majesty solemnized it with a royal feast, and 
 entertained the knights companions in St. George's hall in the castle of 
 Windsor. Though there were several children of this marriage, it does 
 not appear to have been a happy one ; the duke, without concealment, 
 attaching himself to Lady Harriet Wentworth, whom, with his dying 
 breath, he declared he considered as his only wife in the sight of God. 
 The duchess, in May, 1688, took to her second husband Charles, Lord 
 Cornwallis. She died Feb. 6, 1731-32, in the 81st year of her age, 
 and was buried at Dalkeith in Scotland. Our author is not more 
 
1^ v rjiiR s s D^^ m. o :>T :m .d i- t i-i 
 
r 
 
 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GEAMMONT. 331 
 
 offered very a-propos : lier person was full of charms, and 
 her mind possessed all those perfections in which the hand- 
 some Monmouth was deficient. 
 
 New festivals and entertainments celebrated this marriage. 
 The most effectual method to pay court to the king, was to 
 outshine the rest in brilliancy and grandeur ; and whilst these 
 rejoicings brought forward all manner of gallantry and magni- 
 ficence, they either revived old, or established new amours. 
 
 The fair Stewart, then in the meridian of her glory, attracted 
 all eyes, and commanded universal respect and admiration. 
 The Duchess of Cleveland endeavoured to eclipse her at this 
 fete, by a load of jewels, and by all the artificial ornaments of 
 dress ; but it was in vain : her face looked rather thin and 
 pale, from the commencement of a third or fourth pregnancy, 
 which the king was still pleased to place to his own account ; 
 and, as for the rest, her person could in no respect stand in 
 competition with the grace and beauty of Miss Stewart. 
 
 It was during this last effort of her charms, that she would 
 have been queen of England, had the king been as free to give 
 his hand as he was to surrender his heart : for it was at this 
 time that the Duke of Eichmond took it into his head either 
 to marry her, or to die in the attempt. 
 
 A few months after the celebration of the Duke of Mon- 
 mouths's nuptials, Killegrew,* having nothing better to do, 
 
 correct about figures than he avows himself to be in the arrange- 
 ment of facts and dates : the duchess's fortune was much greater than 
 he has stated it to have been. 
 
 * Thomas Killegrew was one of the sons of Sir Kobert Killegrew, 
 chamberlain to the queen, and was born at Hanworth, in the county of 
 Middlesex, in the month of February, 1611. He seems to have been 
 early intended for the court, and to qualify him for rising there, every 
 circumstance of his education appears to have been adapted. He was 
 appointed page of honour to King Charles I., and faithfully adhered to 
 
332 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 fell in love with Lady Shrewsbury ; and, as Lady Shrewsbury, 
 by a very extraordinary chance, had no engagement at that 
 time, their amour was soon established. No one thought of 
 interrupting an intimacy which did not concern any one ; 
 but Killegrew thought proper to disturb it himself 'Not that 
 his happiness fell short of his expectation, nor did possession 
 put him out of love with a situation so enviable ; but he was 
 amazed that he was not envied, and offended that his good 
 fortune raised him no rivals. 
 
 his cause until the death of his master ; after which he attended his son 
 in his exile; to whom he was highly acceptable, on account of his social 
 and convivial qualifications. He married Mrs. Cecilia Crofts, one of the 
 maids of honour to Queen Henrietta. In 1651 he was sent to Venice, as 
 resident at that state, although, says Lord Clarendon, "the king was much 
 dissuaded from it, but afterwards his majesty was prevailed upon, only to 
 gratify him, that in that capacity he might borrow money of English mer- 
 chants for his own subsistence; which he did, and nothing to the honour of 
 his master; but was at last compelled to leave the republic for his vicious 
 behaviour ; of which the Venetian ambassador complained to the king, 
 when he came afterwards to Paris." On his return from Venice, Sir 
 John Denham wrote a copy of verses, printed in his works, bantering 
 the foibles of his friend Killegrew ; who, from his account, was as little 
 sensible to the miseries of exile as his royal master. His attachment 
 to the interests of Charles II. continued unabated, and at the restora- 
 tion he was appointed groom of the bed-chamber, and became so great 
 a favourite with his majesty, that he was admitted into his company on 
 terms of the most unrestrained familiarity, when audience was refused 
 to the first ministers, and even on the most important occasions. It does 
 not appear that he availed himself of his interest with the king, either 
 to amass a fortune, or to advance himself in the state : We do not find 
 that he obtained any other preferment than the post of master of the 
 revels, which he held with that of groom of the bed-chamber. Oldys 
 says he was king's jester at the same time ; but although he might, and 
 certainly did, entertain his majesty in that capacity, it can scarce be 
 imagined to have been in consequence of any appointment of that kind. 
 He died at Whitehall, 19th March, 1682, bewailed, as it is said, by his 
 friends, and truly wept for by the poor. 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 333 
 
 He possessed a great deal of wit, and still more eloquence, 
 which most particularly displayed itself when he was a little 
 elevated with the juice of the grape : he then indulged him- 
 self in giving luxurious descriptions of Lady Shrewsbury's 
 most secret charms and beauties, which above lialf the court 
 were as well acquainted with as himself. 
 
 The Duke of Buckingham was one of those who could only 
 judge from outward appearances : and appearances, in his 
 opinion, did not seem to promise any thing so exquisite as the 
 extravagant praises of Killegrew would infer. As this indis- 
 creet lover was a frequent guest at the Duke of Buckingham's 
 table, he was continually employing his rhetoric on this sub- 
 ject, and he had full opportunity for his harangues ; for they 
 generally sat down to dinner at four o'clock, and only rose 
 just in time for the play in the evening. 
 
 The Duke of Buckingham, whose ears were continually 
 deafened with descriptions of Lady Shrewsbury's merits, 
 resolved at last to examine into the truth of the matter him- 
 self. As soon as he had made the experiment, he was satis- 
 fied ; and, though he fancied that fame did not exceed the 
 truth, yet this intrigue began in such a manner, that it was 
 generally believed its duration would be short, considering 
 the fickleness of both parties, and the vivacity with which 
 they had engaged in it : nevertheless, no amour in England 
 ever continued so long. 
 
 The imprudent Killegrew, who could not be satisfied with- 
 out rivals, was obliged, in the end, to be satisfied without a 
 mistress. This he bore very impatiently; but so far was 
 Lady Shrewsbury from hearkening to, or affording any re- 
 dress for the grievances at first complained of, that she pre- 
 tended even not to know him. His spirit could not brook 
 such treatment ; and, without ever considering that he was 
 
334 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 the author of his own disgrace, he let loose all his abusive 
 eloquence against her ladyship : he attacked her with the 
 most bitter invectives from head to foot : he drew a frightful 
 picture of her conduct ; and turned all her personal charms, 
 which he used to extol, into defects. He was privately 
 warned of the inconveniences to which, these declamations 
 might subject him, but despised the advice, and, persisting, 
 he soon had reason to repent it. 
 
 As he was returnino^ one evening^ from the Duke of York's 
 apartments at St. James's, three passes with a sword were 
 made at him through his chair, one of which went entirely 
 through his arm. Upon this, he was sensible of the danger 
 to which his intemperate tongue had exposed -him, over and 
 above the loss of his mistress. The assassins made their 
 escape across the Park, not doubting but they liad dispatched 
 him. 
 
 Killegrew thought that all complaints would be useless ; 
 for what redress from justice could he expect for an attempt 
 of which his wounds were his only evidence ? And, besides, 
 he was convinced that if he began a prosecution founded 
 upon appearances and conjectures, the parties concerned 
 would take the shortest and most effectual means to put a 
 stop to all inquiries upon the subject, and that their second 
 attempt would not prove ineffectual. Being desirous, there- 
 fore, of deserving mercy from those who had endeavoured to 
 assassinate him, he no longer continued his satires, and said 
 not a word of the adventure. The Duke of Buckingham 
 and Lady Shrewsbury remained for a long period both happy 
 and contented.* Never before had her constancy been of so 
 
 * In a letter from Andrew Marvel, dated August 9, 1671, he says, 
 "Buckingham runs out all with the Lady Shrewsbury, whom he believes 
 he had a son (by,) to whom the king stood godfather : It died young 
 
ID IJ € TL :iK '3 S ^.xf TEs ^r ,r, tk]! l^v- qj, MiVT^l 
 
' 
 
 I 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 335 
 
 long a duration ; nor had he ever been so submissive and re- 
 spectful a lover. 
 
 This continued until Lord Shrewsbury, who never before 
 had shown the least uneasiness at his lady's misconduct, 
 thought proper to resent this : it was public enough, indeed, 
 but less dishonourable to her than any of her former in- 
 trigues. Poor Lord Shrewsbury, too polite a man to make 
 any reproaches to his wife, was resolved to have redress for 
 his injured honour : he accordingly challenged the Duke ot 
 Buckingham ; and the Duke of Buckingham, as a reparation 
 for his honour, having killed him upon the spot, remained a 
 peaceable possessor of this famous Helen. The public was 
 at first shocked at the transaction; but the public grows 
 familiar with everything by habit, and by degrees both 
 decency, and even virtue itself, are rendered tame, and over- 
 come. The queen was at the head of those who exclaimed 
 against so public and scandalous a crime, and against the 
 impunity of such a wicked act. As the Duchess of Buck- 
 ingham * was a short fat body, like her majesty, who never 
 
 Earl of Coventry, and was buried in the sepulchre of his fathers." — 
 MarveVs Works, vol. i., p. 406. The duel in which the Earl of Shrews- 
 bury was killed by the Duke of Buckingham happened 16th March, 
 1667. 
 
 ^ "Mary, Duchess of Buckingham, was the only daughter of Thomas, 
 Lord Fairfax, and Anne, the daughter of Horace, Lord Yere ; a most 
 virtuous and pious lady, in a vicious age and court. If she had any of 
 the vanities, she had certainly none of the vices of it. The duke and 
 she lived lovingly and decently together; she patiently bearing with 
 those faults in him which she could not remedy. She survived him many 
 years, and died near St. James's, at Westminster, and was buried in the 
 vault of the family of Villiers, in Henry VII.'s chapel, anno 1705, 
 setat. 66." — Brian Fairfax's Life of the Duke of Buckingham, 4to, 
 1758, p. 39. She was married at Nun Appleton, September 6, 1657. 
 In the Memoirs of the English Court, by Madame Dunois, p. 11, it is 
 
336 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 had had any children, and whom her husband had abandoned 
 for another ; this sort of parallel in their situations interested 
 the queen in her favour ; but it was all in vain : no person 
 paid any attention to them ; the licentiousness of the age 
 went on uncontrolled, though the queen endeavoured to raise 
 up the serious part of the nation, the politicians and devotees,, 
 as enemies against it. 
 
 The fate of this princess was in many cases truly melan- 
 choly : The king, indeed, paid her every outward attention ; 
 but that was all : She easily perceived that the respect he 
 entertained for her daily .diminished, in proportion as the 
 credit of her rivals increased : She saw that the king her hus- 
 band was now totally indifferent about legitimate children, 
 since his all-charming mistresses bore him others. As all 
 
 said, " the Duchess of Buckingham has merit and virtue ; she is brown 
 and lean, but had she been the most beautiful and charming of her sex, 
 the being his wife would have been sufficient alone to have inspired him 
 with a dislike. Notwithstanding she knew he was always intriguing, 
 yet she never spoke of it, and had complaisance enough to entertain his 
 mistresses, and even to lodge them in her house ; all which she suffered 
 because she loved him." In some manuscript notes in Oldys' copy of 
 Langbaine, by a gentleman still living, we are told that the old Lady 
 Viscountess de Longueville, grandmother to the Earl of Sussex, who died 
 in 1763, aged near 100, used to tell many little anecdotes of Charles II.'s 
 queen, whom she described as a little ungraceful woman, so short legged,, 
 that when she stood upon her feet, you would have thought she was on 
 her knees, and yet so long waisted, that when she sat down she 
 appeared a well-sized woman. She also described the Duchess of 
 Buckingham, to whom she was related, as much such another in person 
 as the queen; a little round crumpled woman, very fond of finery. She 
 remembered paying her a visit when she (the duchess) was in mourning, 
 at which time she found her lying on a sofa, with a kind of loose robe 
 over her, all edged or laced with gold. This circumstance gives credit 
 to Fairfax's observation above, that if she had any of the vanities, she 
 had certainly none of the vices of the court. 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 337 
 
 the happiness of her life depended upon that blessing, and as 
 she flattered herself that the king would prove kinder to her 
 if Heaven would vouchsafe to grant her desires, she had re- 
 course to all the celebrated secrets against sterility: pious 
 vows, nine days' prayers, and offerings having been tried in all 
 manners, but all to no purpose, she was at last obliged to 
 return to natural means. 
 
 What would she have given on this occasion for the ring 
 which Archbishop Turpin wore on his finger, and which 
 made Charlemagne run after him, in the same manner as it 
 had made him run after one of his concubines, from whose 
 finger Turpin had taken it after her death ! But it is now 
 many years since the only talismans for creating love are the 
 charms of the person beloved, and foreign enchantments have 
 been looked upon as ineffectual. The queen's physicians, 
 men of great prudence, sagacity, and wisdom, as they always 
 are, having duly weighed and considered that the cold waters 
 of Tunbridge had not succeeded in the preceding year, con- 
 cluded that it would be advisable for her to try the warm 
 baths at Bristol. ^ This journey was therefore fixed for the 
 next season ; and in the confidence of its proving effectual, 
 this excursion would have afforded her much pleasure, if the 
 most dangerous of her rivals had not been one of the first 
 that was appointed to attend the court. The Duchess of 
 Cleveland being then near her time, there was no uneasiness 
 on her account : the common rules of decency required a 
 little attention. The public, it is true, was not either more 
 or less acquainted with the circumstances of her situation ; 
 
 * I believe that Bath, not Bristol, is the place intended by the author. 
 Queen Katharine's visit to the former place was earlier than to Tun- 
 bridge, being about the latter end of September, 1663. See Wood's 
 Description of Bath, vol. i. p. 217. I do not find she ever was at 
 Bristol, but at the time mentioned in the following extract : 
 
 22 
 
338 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 by the care which she now took to conceal it ; but her 
 appearing at court in her present condition would have been 
 too great an insult to the queen. Miss Stewart, more hand- 
 some than ever, was appointed for this excursion, and began 
 to make magnificent preparations. The poor queen durst say 
 nothing against it ; but all hopes of success immediately for- 
 sook her. What could the baths, or the feeble virtue of the 
 waters, perform against charms that entirely counteracted 
 their effects, either through the grief and uneasiness they 
 occasioned her, or by their still more powerful consequences ? 
 Tlie Chevalier de Grammont, to whom all pleasures were 
 insipid without the presence of Miss Hamilton, was yet unable 
 to excuse himself from attending the court : the king delighted 
 too much in his sprightly conversation to leave him behind ; 
 and however pleasing his company might have been in the 
 solitude occasioned by the absence of the court. Miss Hamilton 
 did not think it right to accept his offer of staying in town, 
 because she was obliged to remain there : she, however, granted 
 him the permission of writing her an account of any news that 
 might occur upon the journey. He failed not to make use of 
 this permission, in such a manner as one may imagine : and 
 his own concerns took up so much space in his letters, that 
 there was very little room left for other subjects during his 
 stay at the baths. As absence from the object of his affections 
 rendered this place insupportable, he engaged in everything 
 
 " 1663. Sir John Knight, mayor. John Broadway, Eichard Stre- 
 mer, sheriffs. 
 
 " The 5th of September, the king and queen, with James, Duke of 
 York, and his Duchess, and Prince Eupert, &c., came to Bristol, and 
 were splendidly received and entertained by the mayor, at a dinner 
 provided on the occasion. They returned to Bath at four o'clock. 
 150 pieces of ordnance were discharged in the Marsh, at three distinct 
 \hm.%^"— Barrett 8 History, &c., of Bristol, p. 692. 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 339 
 
 that might dissipate his impatience, until the happy moment 
 of return arrived. 
 
 He had a great esteem for the elder of the Hamiltons ; no 
 less esteem, and far more friendship for his brother, whom he 
 made the confidant of his passion and attachment for his sister. 
 The Chevalier was also acquainted with his first engagements 
 with his cousin Wetenhall ; but being ignorant of the coldness 
 that had interrupted a commerce so brisk in its commence- 
 ment, he was surprised at the eagerness he showed upon all 
 occasions to please Miss Stewart : his assiduity appeared to 
 the Chevalier de Grammont to exceed those civilities and at- 
 tentions that are usually paid for the purpose of making court 
 to the favourites of princes. He observed him more strictly, 
 and soon perceived that he was deeper in love with her than 
 was consistent either with his fortune or his repose, ils soon 
 as the remarks he made had confirmed him in his suspicions, 
 he resolved to use his endeavours to prevent the consequences 
 of an engagement pernicious in every respect : but he waited 
 for a proper opportunity of speaking to him upon the subject. 
 
 In the mean time, the court enjoyed every kind of diversion, 
 in a place where amusement is sought with avidity. The game 
 of bowls, which in France is the pastime of mechanics and 
 servants only, is quite the contrary in England, where it is 
 the exercise of gentlemen, and requires both art and address : 
 it is only in use during the fair and dry part of the season, 
 and the places where it is practised are charming, delicious 
 walks, called bowling-greens, which are little square grass 
 plots, where the turf is almost as smooth and level as the 
 cloth of a billiard-table. As soon as the heat of the day is 
 over, all the company assemble there : they play deep ; and 
 spectators are at liberty to make what bets they please. 
 
 The Chevalier de Grammont, long before initiated in the 
 
 22—2 
 
340 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 English games and diversions, liad been engaged in a horse- 
 race, in which he was indeed unsuccessful ; but he had the 
 satisfaction of being convinced by experience, that an English 
 horse can go twenty miles upon the high road in less than an 
 hour. He was more fortunate at cock-fighting ; and in the 
 bets he made at the bowling-green, the party he betted upon 
 never failed to win. 
 
 Near all these places of diversion there is usually a sort of 
 inn, or house of entertainment, with a bower or arbour, in which 
 are sold all sorts of English liquors, such as cider, mead, 
 bottled beer, and Spanish wines. Here the rooks meet every 
 evening to drink, smoke, and to try their skill upOn each other, 
 or, in other words, to endeavour to trick one another out of 
 the winnings of the day. These rooks are, properly speaking, 
 what we call capons or piqueurs, in France ; men who always 
 carry money about them, to enable them to lend to losing 
 gamesters, for which they receive a gTatification, which is 
 nothing for such as play deep, as it is only two per cent., and 
 the money to be repaid the next day. 
 
 These gentlemen are so nice in their calculations, and so 
 particularly skilful in all manner of games, that no person 
 would dare to enter the lists with them, were they even assured 
 that no unfairness would be practised. Besides, they make a 
 vow, to win four or five guineas a day, and to be satisfied with 
 that gain ; a vow which they seldom or never break. 
 
 It was in the midst of a company of these rooks, that 
 Hamilton found the Chevalier de Grammont, when he called 
 in one evening to get a glass of cider. They were playing at 
 hazard ; and as he who holds the dice is supposed to have the 
 advantage, the rooks did the Chevalier de Grammont that 
 honour out of compliment: he had the dice in his hand 
 when Hamilton came into the room. The rooks, secure of 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 341 
 
 their odds, were betting against him at a high rate, and he 
 took all. 
 
 Hamilton could hardly believe his eyes, to see a man of his 
 experience and knowledge engaged in so unequal a contest ; 
 but it was to no purpose that he informed him of his danger, 
 both aloud in French, and in private by signs ; he still dis- 
 regarded his warnings, and the dice, that bore Csesar and his 
 fortunes, performed a miracle in his favour. The rooks were 
 defeated for the first time, but not without bestowing upon 
 him all the encomiums and praises of being a very fair and 
 honourable player, which they never fail to lavish upon those 
 whom they wish to engage a second time ; but all their com- 
 mendations were lost, and their hopes deceived : the Chevalier 
 was satisfied with the first experiment. 
 
 * Hamilton, when the king was at supper, related to him 
 how he found the Chevalier de Grammont rashly engaged 
 with the rooks, and in what manner he had been providen- 
 tially preserved. " Indeed, Sir," said the Chevalier de Gram- 
 mont, " the rooks were discomfited for once ;" and thereupon 
 related the adventure to his majesty in his usual v/ay, attract- 
 ing the attention of all the company, to a circumstance trifling 
 in itself, but rendered interesting by his humour. 
 
 After supper, Miss Stewart, in whose apartment there was 
 play, called Hamilton to her to tell the story. The Chevalier 
 de Grammont, perceiving that she attended to him with plea- 
 sure, was fully confirmed in the truth of his first conjectures ; 
 and, having carried Hamilton home with him to supper, they 
 began to discourse freely together as usual : " George," said the 
 Chevalier de Grammont, " are you in any want of money ? I 
 know you love play : perhaps it may not be so favoi!irable 
 to you as it is to me. We are at a great distance from 
 London. Here are two hundred guineas: take them, I beseech 
 
342 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 you ; they will do to play with at Miss Stewart's." Hamilton, 
 who little expected this conclusion, was rather disconcerted. 
 *" How ! at Miss Stewart's !" " Yes, in her apartments. Friend 
 George," continued the Chevalier de Grammont, " I have not 
 yet lost my eyes : you are in love with her, and, if I am not 
 mistaken, she is not offended at it ; but tell me how you could 
 resolve to banish poor Wetenhall from your heart, and suffer 
 yourself to be infatuated with a girl, who perhaps after all is 
 not worth the other, and who besides, whatever favourable 
 dispositions she may have for you, will undoubtedly in the 
 end prove your ruin. Faith, your brother and you are two 
 pretty fellows, in your choice. What ! can you find no other 
 beauties in all the court to fall in love with, except the king's 
 two mistresses ! As for the elder brother, I can pardon him : 
 he only took Lady Castlemaine after his master had done with 
 her, and after Lady Chesterfield had discarded him ; but, as 
 for you, what the devil do you intend to do with a creature, 
 on whom the king seems every day to dote with increasing 
 fondness ? Is it because that drunken sot Eichmond has 
 again come forward, and now declares himself one of her pro- 
 fessed admirers ? You will soon see what he will make by it: 
 I have not forgotten what the king said to me upon the subject. 
 " Believe me, my dear friend, there is no playing tricks with 
 our masters ; I mean, there is no ogling their mistresses. I 
 myself wanted to play the agreeable in France with a little 
 coquette, whom the king did not care about, and you know how 
 dearly I paid for it. I confess she gives you fair play, but do 
 not trust to her. All the sex feel an unspeakable satisfaction 
 at having men in their train, whom they care not for, and to 
 use them as their slaves of state, merely to swell their equip- 
 age. Would it not be a great deal better to pass a week or ten 
 days incognito at Peckham, with the philosopher Wetenhall's 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 343 
 
 wife, than to have it inserted in the Dutch Gazette, — We 
 hear from Bristol, that such a one is banished the court on 
 account of Miss Stewart, and that he is going to make a cam- 
 paign in Guinea^ on board the fleet that is fitting out for the 
 expedition, under the command of Prince Eupert." 
 
 Hamilton, who was the more convinced of the truth of this 
 discourse, the more he considered it, after musing some time, 
 appeared to wake from a dream, and addressing himself with 
 an air of gratitude to the Chevalier de Grammont : " Of all 
 the men in the world, my dear friend," said he, " you have the 
 most agreeable wit, and at the same time the clearest judgment 
 with respect to your friends: what you have told me has 
 opened my eyes. I began to suffer myself to be seduced by 
 the most ridiculous illusion imaginable, and to be hurried away 
 rather by frivolous appearances than any real inclination : to 
 you I owe the obligation of having preserved me from destruc- 
 tion at the very brink of a precipice. This is not the only 
 kindness you have done me, your favours have been innume- 
 rable ; and, as a proof of my gratitude for this last, I will fol- 
 low your advice, and go into retirement at my cousin Weten- 
 hall's, to eradicate from my recollection every trace of those 
 chimeras which lately possessed my brain ; but so far from 
 going thither incognito, I will take you along with me, as soon 
 as the court returns to London. My sister shall likewise be of 
 the party ; for it is prudent to use all precautions with a man 
 who, with a great deal of merit, on such occasions is not over 
 scrupulous, if we may credit your philosopher." "Do not 
 pay any attention to that pedant," replied the Chevalier de 
 Grammont : " but tell me what put it into your head to form 
 
 * This expedition was intended to have taken place in 1664. A 
 full account of it, and how it came to be laid aside, may be seen in the 
 Continuation of Clarendon^s Life^ p. 226. 
 
^'44 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 a design upon that inanimate statue, Miss Stewart ?" " How 
 the devil should I know ?" said Hamilton : "you are acquainted 
 with all her childish amusements. The old Lord Carlingford"^ 
 was at her apartment one evening, showing her how to hold a 
 lighted wax candle in her mouth, and the grand secret con- 
 sisted in keeping the burning end there a long time without 
 its being extinguished. I have, thank God, a pretty large 
 mouth, and, in order to out-do her teacher, I took two candles 
 into my mouth at the same time, and walked three times round 
 the room without their going out. Every person present ad- 
 judged me the prize of this illustrious experiment, and Kille- 
 grew maintained that nothing but a lanthorn could stand in 
 competition with me. Upon this she was like to die with 
 laughing ; and thus was I admitted into the familiarity of her 
 amusements. It is impossible to deny her being one of the 
 most charming creatures that ever was : since the court has 
 been in the country, I have had an hundred opportunities of 
 seeing her, which I had not before. You know that the dis- 
 habille of the bath is a great convenience for those ladies, who, 
 strictly adhering to all the rules of decorum, are yet desirous 
 to display all their charms and attractions. Miss Stewart is 
 so fully acquainted with the advantages she possesses over aR 
 other women, that it is hardly possible to praise any lady at 
 court for a well-turned arm, and a fine leg, but she is ever 
 ready to dispute the point by demonstration ; and I really be- 
 lieve, that, with a little address, it would not be difficult to 
 induce her to strip naked, without ever reflecting upon what 
 she was doing. After all, a man must be very insensible to 
 remain unconcerned and unmoved on such happy occasions ; 
 
 * Sir Theobald Taaflfe, the second Viscount Taatfe, created Earl of 
 Carlingford, in the county of Louth, by privy seal, l7th June, 1661, 
 and by patent, 26th June, 1662. He died 31st December, 1677. 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GEAMMONT. 34& 
 
 and, besides, the good opinion we entertain of ourselves is apt 
 to make us think a woman is smitten, as soon as she distin- 
 guishes us by habitual familiarity, which most commonly sig- 
 nifies nothing. This is the truth of the matter with respect to 
 myself : my own presumption, her beauty, the brilliant station 
 that sets it off, and a thousand kind things she had said to me, 
 prevented me from making serious reflections ; but then, as 
 some excuse for my folly, I must likewise tell you, that the 
 facility I found in making her the tenderest declarations by 
 commending her, and her telling me in confidence a thousand 
 things which she ought not to have entrusted me with, might 
 have deceived or infatuated any other man as well as myself. 
 
 " I presented her with one of the prettiest horses in England. 
 You know what peculiar grace and elegance distinguish her 
 on horseback. The king, who, of all the diversions of the 
 chase, likes none but hawking, because it is the most con- 
 venient for the ladies, went out the other day to take this 
 amusement, attended by all the beauties of his court. His 
 majesty having galloped after a falcon, and the whole bright 
 squadron after him, the rustling of Miss Stewart's petticoats 
 frightened her horse, which was at full speed, endeavouring to 
 come up with mine, that had been his companion ; so that I 
 was the only witness of a disorder in her clothes, which dis- 
 played a thousand new beauties to my view. I had the good 
 fortune to make su^i gallant and flattering exclamations upon 
 that charming disorder as to prevent her being concerned or 
 out of countenance upon it : on the contrary, this subject of 
 my admiration has been frequently since the subject of our 
 conversation, and did not seem to displease her. 
 
 " Old Lord Carlingford, and that mad fellow, Crofts* (for I 
 
 * William, Baron of Crofts, groom of the stole, and gentleman of the 
 bed-chamber to the Duke of York ; captain of a regiment of guards 
 
546 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GltAMMONT. 
 
 must now make you my general confession), those insipid 
 buffoons, were frequently telling her some diverting stories, 
 which passed pretty well with the help of a few old thread- 
 bare jests, or some apish tricks in the recital, which made her 
 laugh heartily. As for myself, who know no stories, and do 
 not possess the talent of improving them by telling, if I did 
 know any, I was often greatly embarrassed when she desired 
 me to tell her one : ' I do not know one, indeed,' said I, one 
 day, when she was teazing me on the subject. ' Invent one, 
 then,' said she. ' That would be still more difficult,' replied I; 
 ' but if you will give me leave, madam, I will relate to you a 
 very extraordinary dream, which has, however, less appearance 
 of truth in it than dreams generally have.' This excited her 
 curiosity, which would brook no denial. I therefore began to 
 tell her that the most beautiful creature in the world, whom I 
 loved to distraction, paid me a visit in my sleep. I then drew 
 her own portrait, with a rapturous description of all her beau- 
 ties ; adding, that this goddess, who came to visit me with the 
 most favourable intentions, did not counteract them by any 
 unreasonable cruelty. This was not sufficient to satisfy Miss 
 Stewart's curiosity : I was obliged to relate every particular 
 circumstance of the kindness I experienced from this delicate 
 phantom ; to which she was so very attentive, that she never 
 once appeared surprised or disconcerted at the luscious tale. 
 On the contrary, she made me repeat the description of the 
 beauty, which I drew as near as possible after her own person, 
 and after such charms as I imagined of beauties that were un- 
 known to me. 
 
 of the queen-mother, gentleman of the bed-chamber to the king, and am- 
 bassador to Poland. He had been sent to France by the Duke of York, 
 to congratulate Louis XIV. on the birth of the dauphin. See Biog. 
 Brit, old Ed. vol. iv., p. 2738, and Continuation of Clarendon, p. 294. 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 347 
 
 " This is, in fact, the very thing that had almost deprived 
 me of my senses : she knew very well that she herself was the 
 person I was describing : we were alone, as you may imagine, 
 when I told her this story ; and my eyes did their utmost to 
 persuade her that it was herself whom I drew. I perceived 
 that she was not in the least offended at knowing this ; nor 
 was her modesty in the least alarmed at the relation of a fic- 
 tion, which I might have concluded in a manner still less dis- 
 creet, if I had thought proper. This patient audience made 
 me plunge headlong into the ocean of flattering ideas that 
 presented themselves to my imagination. I then no longer 
 thought of the king, nor how passionately fond he was of her, 
 nor of the dangers attendant upon such an engagement : in 
 short, I know not what the devil I was thinking of; but I am 
 very certain that, if you had not been thinking for me, I 
 might have found my ruin in the midst of these distracted 
 visions." 
 
 Not long after, the court returned to London ; and from that 
 time, some malevolent star having gained the ascendant, every 
 thing went cross in the empire of Love : vexation, suspicions, 
 or jealousies, first entered the field, to set all hearts at variance ; 
 next, false reports, slander, and disputes, completed the ruin 
 of all. 
 
 The Duchess of Cleveland had been brought to bed while 
 the court was at Bristol ; and never before had she recovered 
 from her lying-in with such a profusion of charms. This made 
 her believe that she was in a proper state to retrieve her ancient 
 rights over the king's heart, if she had an opportunity of ap- 
 pearing before him with this increased splendour. Her friends 
 being of the same opinion, her equipage was prepared for this 
 expedition ; but the very evening before the day she had fixed 
 
348 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 on to set out, slie saw young Churchill,"^ and was at once seized 
 with a disease, which had more than once opposed her projects, 
 and which she could never completely get the better of. 
 
 * Afterwards the celebrated Duke of Marlboroiigli. He was bofn 
 midsummer-day, 1650, and died June 16, 1722. Bishop Burnet takes 
 notice of the discovery of this intrigue. " The Duchess of Cleveland 
 finding that she had lost the king, abandoned herself to great dis- 
 orders ; one of which, by the artifice of the Duke of Buckingham, was 
 discovered by the king in person, the party concerned leaping out of 
 the window." — History of his oivn Times, vol. i. p. 370. This was in 
 1668. A very particular account of this intrigue is to be seen in the 
 Atalantis oi Mrs. Manley, vol. i,, p. 30. The same writer, who had 
 lived as companion to the Duchess of Cleveland, says, in the account 
 of her own life, that she was an eye-witness when the duke, who had 
 received thousands from the duchess, refused the common civility of 
 lending her twenty guineas at basset.— ^Ae History of Eivella, 4th 
 ed. 1725, J). 33. Lord Chesterfield's character of this noblemen is too 
 remarkable to be omitted. 
 
 " Of all the men that ever I knew in my life, (and I knew him ex- 
 tremely well,) the late Duke of Marlborough possessed the graces in the 
 highest degree, not to say engrossed them : and indeed he got the most 
 by them ! for I will venture, (contrary to the custom of profound histo- 
 rians, who always assign deep causes to great events,) to ascribe the 
 better half of the Duke of Marlborough's greatness and riches to those 
 graces. He was eminently illiterate, wrote bad English, and spelled it 
 still worse. He had no share of what is commonly called parts ; that 
 is, he had no brightness, nothing shining in his genius. He had, most 
 undoubtedly, an excellent good plain understanding, with sound judg- 
 ment. But these alone would probably have raised him but something 
 higher than they found him, which was page to King James II.'s queen. 
 There the graces protected and promoted him ; for while he was an 
 ensign of the guards, the Duchess of Cleveland, then favourite mistress 
 to King Charles II., struck by those very graces, gave him five thousand 
 pounds ; with which he immediately bought an annuity for his life, of 
 five hundred pounds a-year, of my grandfather, Halifax ; which was the 
 foundation of his subsequent fortune. His figure was beautiful ; but 
 his manner was irresistible by either man or woman. It was by this 
 engaging, graceful manner, that he was enabled, during all his wars, to 
 connect the various and jarring powers of the grand alliance, and to carry 
 
r UTTM .CTjia. ^i-jT'M.t.. dt iNi^^:7^i,is •oin :n)j'^ r^Ti 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 349 
 
 A man who, from an ensign in the guards, was raised to 
 such a fortune, must certainly possess an uncommon share of 
 prudence, not to be intoxicated with his happiness. Churchill 
 boasted in all places of the new favour he had received : the 
 Duchess of Cleveland, who neither recommended to him cir- 
 cumspection in his behaviour, nor in his conversation, did not 
 seem to be in the least concerned at his indiscretion. Thus 
 this intrigue was become a general topic in all companies, 
 when the court arrived in London, and occasioned an immense 
 number of speculations and reasonings: some said she had 
 already presented him with Jermyn's pension, and Jacob Hall's 
 salary, because the merits and qualifications of both were united 
 in his person : others maintained that he had too indolent an 
 air, and too delicate a shape, long to maintain himself in her 
 favour ; but all agreed that a man who was the favourite of 
 the king's mistress, and brother to the duke's favourite, was in 
 a fair way of preferment, and could not fail to make his for- 
 time. As a proof, the Duke of York soon after gave him a 
 place in his household : this was naturally to be expected ; 
 
 them on to the main object of the war, notwithstanding their private 
 and separate views, jealousies, and wrongheadednesses. Whatever court 
 he went to, (and he was often obHged to go himself to some restive and 
 refractory ones,) he as constantly prevailed, and brought them into his 
 measures. The pensionary Heinsius, a venerable old minister, grown 
 grey in business, and who had governed the republic of the United 
 Provinces for more than forty years, was absolutely governed by the 
 Duke of Marlborough, as that republic feels to this day. He was always 
 cool ; and nobody ever observed the least variation in his countenance. 
 He could refuse more gracefully than other people could grant ; and 
 those who went away from him the most dissatisfied, as to the substance 
 of their business, were yet personally charmed with him, and, in some 
 degree, comforted by his manner. With all his gracefulness, no man 
 living was more conscious of his situation, or maintained his dignity 
 better."— Chest Letters, letter 136. 
 
350 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 but the king, who did not think that Lady Cleveland's kind- 
 ness to him was a sufficient recommendation to his favour, 
 thought proper to forbid him the court. 
 
 This good-natured king began now to be rather peevish : nor 
 was it altogether without reason : he disturbed no person in 
 their amours, and yet others had often the presumption to 
 encroach upon his. Lord Dorset, first lord of the bed-cham- 
 ber, had lately debauched from his service l^ell Gwyn, the 
 actress.^ Lady Cleveland, whom he now no longer regarded, 
 
 * On this passage, the first translator of this work, Mr. Beyer, has 
 the following note : " The author of these memoirs is somewhat mistaken 
 in this particular ; for Nell Gwyn was my Lord Dorset's mistress, before 
 the king fell in love with her; and I was told by the late Mr. Dryden, 
 that the king, having a mind to get her from his lordship, sent him upon 
 a sleeveless errand to France. However, it is not improbable that Nell 
 was afterwards kind to her first lover." Of the early part of Nell's 
 life, little is known but what may be collected from the lampoons of 
 the times ; in which it is said that she was born in a night-cellar, sold 
 fish about the streets, rambled from tavern to tavern, entertaining the 
 company after dinner and supper with songs (her voice being very 
 agreeable); was next taken into the house of Madame Ross, a noted 
 courtezan ; and was afterwards admitted into the theatre, where she 
 became the mistress of both Hart and Lacey, the celebrated actors. 
 Other accounts say she was born in a cellar in the Coal-yard in Drury 
 lane ; and that she was first taken notice of when selling oranges in the 
 play-house. She belonged to the king's company at Drury-lane, and, 
 according to Downes, was received as an actress a few years after that 
 house was opened, in 1663. The first notice I find of her is in the year 
 1668, when she performed in Dryden's play of ' Secret Love ;' after which 
 she may be traced every year until 1672, when I conjecture she quitted 
 the stage. Her forte appears to have been comedy. In an epilogue to 
 ^ Tyrannic Love,' spoken by her, she says, 
 
 I walk, because I die 
 
 Out of my calling in a tragedy. 
 
 And from the same authority it may be collected that her person was 
 small, and she was negligent in her dress. Her son, the Duke of St. 
 Albans, was born before she left the stage, viz., May 8, 1670. Bishop 
 
I 
 
 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 351 
 
 continued to disgrace Mm by repeated infidelities with un- 
 worthy rivals, and almost ruined him by the immense sums 
 
 Burnet speaks of her in these terms: — " Gwyn, the indiscreetest and wild- 
 est creature that ever was in a court, continued, to the end of the king's 
 life, in great favour, and was maintained at a vast expense. The Duke 
 of Buckingham told me, that when she was first brought to the king, 
 she asked only 500 pounds a-year, and the king refused it. But when 
 he told me this, about four years after, he said she had got of the king- 
 above sixty thousand pounds. She acted all persons in so lively a man- 
 ner, and was such a constant diversion to the king, that even a new 
 mistress could not drive her away; but, after all, he never treated her 
 with the decencies of a mistress." — History of his Own Times, vol. i., 
 p. 369. The same author notices the king's attention to her on his 
 death-bed. Gibber, who was dissatisfied with the bishop's account of 
 Nell, says, — " if we consider her in all the disadvantages of her rank 
 and education, she does not appear to have had any criminal errors, 
 more remarkable than her sex's frailty, to answer for ; and if the same 
 author, in his latter end of that prince's life, seems to reproach his 
 memory with too kind a concern for her support, we may allow it be- 
 comes a bishop to have had no eyes or taste for the frivolous charms or 
 playful badinage of a king's mistress. Yet, if the common fame of her 
 may be believed, which, in my memory, was not doubted, she had less 
 to be laid to her charge than any other of those ladies who were in the 
 same state of preferment. She never meddled in matters of serious 
 moment, or was the tool of working politicians ; never broke into those 
 amorous infidelities which others, in that grave author, are accused of ; 
 but was as visibly distinguished by her particular personal inclination 
 to the king, as her rivals were by their titles and grandeur." — Gibber's 
 Apology, 8vo, p. 450. One of Madame Sevigne's letters exhibits no bad 
 portrait of Mrs. Gwyn. — " Mademoiselle de K , (Kerouaille, after- 
 wards Duchess of Portsmouth) has not been disappointed in anything 
 she proposed. She desired to be mistress to the king, and she is so : 
 he lodges with her almost every night, in the face of all the court : she 
 has had a son, who has been acknowledged, and presented with two 
 duchies : she amasses treasure, and makes herself feared and repected by 
 as many as she can. But she did not foresee that she should find a young 
 actress in her way, whom the king dotes on ; and she has it not in her 
 power to withdraw him from her. He divides his care, his time, and 
 
352 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 she lavished on her gallants ; but that which most sensibly- 
 affected him, was the late coldness and threats of Miss Stewart. 
 He long since had offered her all the settlements and all the 
 
 his health, between these two. The actress is as haughty as Mademoi- 
 selle : she insults her, she makes grimaces at her, she attacks her,- she 
 frequently steals the king from her, and boasts whenever he gives her 
 the preference. She is young, indiscreet, confident, wild, and of an 
 agreeable humour : she sings, she dances, she acts her part with a good 
 grace. She has a son by the king, and hopes to have him acknowledged. 
 As to Mademoiselle, she reasons thus : This duchess, says she, pretends 
 to be a person of quality : she says she is related to the best families in 
 France : whenever any person of distinction dies, she puts herself in 
 mourning. — If she be a lady of such quality, why does she demean her- 
 self to be a courtezan ? She ought to die with shame. As for me, it is 
 my profession : I do not pretend to anything better. He has a son^by 
 me : I pretend that he ought to acknowledge him ; and I am well 
 assured he will ; for he loves me as well as Mademoiselle. This crea- 
 ture gets the upper hand, and discountenances and embarrasses the 
 duchess extremely." — Letter 92. Mr. Pennant says, — " she resided at 
 her house, in what was then called Pall- Mall. It is the first good one 
 on the left hand of St. James's-square, as we enter from Pali-Mall. The 
 back-room on the ground floor was (within memory) entirely of looking 
 glass, as was said to have been the ceiling. Over the chimney was her 
 picture ; and that of her sister was in a third room." — London, p. 101. 
 At this house she died, in the year 1691, and was pompously interred 
 in the parish church of St. Martin's in the fields ; Dr. Tennison, then 
 vicar, and afterwards archbishop of Canterbury, preaching her funeral 
 sermon. This sermon, we learn, was shortly afterwards brought for- 
 wards at court by Lord Jersey, to impede the doctor's preferment : but 
 Queen Mary, having heard the objection, answered — "What then f ' in 
 a sort of discomposure to which she was but little subject ; " I have 
 heard as much : this is a sign that that poor unfortunate woman died 
 penitent ; for, if I can read a man's heart through his looks, had not she 
 made a pions and Christian end, the doctor could never have been in- 
 duced to speak well of her." — Life of Dr. Thomas Tennison, p. 20. 
 Cibber also says, he had been unquestionably informed that our fair 
 offender's repentance appeared in all the contrite symptoms of a Chris- 
 tian sincerity. — Gibber's Apology, p. 451. 
 
 %.■ 
 
IVITS.5S 31) ..^ly^II .^ . 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 353 
 
 titles she could desire, until lie had an opportunity more 
 effectually to provide for her, which she had pretended only 
 to decline, for fear of the scandal they might occasion, on her 
 heing raised to a rank which would attract the public notice ; 
 but since the return of the court, she had given herself other 
 airs : sometimes she was for retiring from court, to appease 
 the continual uneasiness her presence gave the queen: at 
 other times it was to avoid temptations, by which she wished 
 to insinuate that her innocence was still preserved : in short, 
 the king's heart was continually distracted by alarms, or op- 
 pressed by humour and caprice. 
 
 As he could not for his life imagine what Miss Stewart 
 wished him to do, or what she would be at, he thought upon 
 reforming his establishment of mistresses, to try whether 
 jealousy was not the real occasion of her uneasiness. It was for 
 this reason that, after having solemnly declared he would have 
 nothing more to say to the Duchess of Cleveland, since her 
 intrigue with Churchill, he discarded, without any exception, 
 all the other mistresses which he had in various parts of the 
 town. The Nell Gwyns, the Misses Davis,^ and the joyous 
 train of singers and dancers in liis majesty's theatre, were all 
 
 * Mrs. Mary Davis was an actress belonging to the duke's theatre. 
 She was, according to Downes, one of the four female performers who 
 boarded in Sir William Davenant's own house, and was on the stage as 
 early as 1664, her name being to be seen in The Stepmother, acted in that 
 year. She performed the character of Celia in The Rivals, altered by 
 Davenant from the Two Nolle Kinsmen of Fletcher and Shakespeare, 
 in 1668 ; and, in singing several wild and mad songs, so charmed his 
 majesty, that she was from that time received into his favour, and had 
 by him a daughter, Mary Tudor, born October, 1673 ; married in 
 August, 1687, to Francis Eatcliff, Earl of Derwentwater. Burnet says, 
 Miss Davis did not keep her hold on the king long ; which may be 
 doubted, as her daughter was born four years after she was first noticed 
 by his majesty. 
 
 23 
 
354 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 dismissed. All these sacrifices were ineffectual : Miss Stewart 
 continued to torment, and almost to drive the king to dis- 
 traction ; but his majesty soon after found out the real cause 
 of this coldness. 
 
 Tliis discovery was owing to the officious Duchess of Cleve- 
 land, who, ever since her disgrace, had railed most bitterly 
 against Miss Stewart as the cause of it, and against the king's 
 weakness, who, for an inanimate idiot, had treated her with so 
 much indignity. As some of her grace's creatures were stiU. 
 in the king's confidence, by their means she was informed of 
 the king's uneasiness, and that Miss Stewart's behaviour was 
 the occasion of it : and as soon as she had found the opportu- 
 nity she had so long wished for, she went directly into the 
 king's cabinet, through the apartment of one of his pages called 
 Chiffinch, This way was not new to lier. 
 
 The king was just returned from visiting Miss Stewart, in a 
 Aery ill humour : the presence of the Duchess of Cleveland 
 surprised him, and did not in the least diminish it : she, per- 
 cei^dng this, accosted him in an ironical tone, and with a smile 
 of indignation : " I hope," said she, " I may be allowed to pay 
 you my homage, although the angelic Stewart has forbid you 
 to see me at my own house. I will not make use of re- 
 proaches and expostulations, which would disgrace myself: still 
 less will I endeavour to excuse frailties which nothing can 
 justify, since your constancy for me deprives me of all defence, 
 considering I am the only person you have honoured with 
 your tenderness, who has made herself unworthy of it by ill 
 conduct. I come now, therefore, with no other intent than to 
 ■comfort and to condole with you upon the affiiction and grief 
 into which the coldness, or new-fashioned chastity of the in- 
 human Stewart have reduced your majesty." These words 
 were attended by a fit of laughter, as unnatural and strained 
 
JE. J'crvyen- S. 
 
 1') 1^ (-' ][-! ;F. .?! .>? -OT T" TDIBIT S :>J07-^'"TiT 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 355 
 
 as it was insulting and immoderate, whicli completed the 
 long's impatience : he had, indeed, expected that some bitter 
 jest would follow this preamble ; but he (Jid not suppose she 
 would have given herself such blustering airs, considering the 
 terms they were then upon ; and, as he was preparing to an- 
 swer her : " be not offended," said she, " that I take the liberty 
 of laughing at the gross manner in which you are imposed 
 upon : I cannot bear to see that such particular affectation 
 should make you the jest of your own court, and that you 
 should be ridiculed with such impunity. I know that the 
 affected Stuart has sent you away, under pretence of some in- 
 disposition, or perhaps some scruple of conscience ; and I come 
 to acquaint you that the Duke of Kichmond will soon be with 
 her, if he is not there already. I do not desire you to believe 
 what I say, since it might be suggested either through resent- 
 ment or envy : only follow me to her apartment, either that, 
 no longer trusting calumny and malice, you may honour her 
 with a just preference, if I accuse her falsely ; or, if my infor- 
 mation be true, you may no longer be the dupe of a pretended 
 prude, who makes you act so unbecoming and ridiculous a 
 part." 
 
 As she ended this speech, she took him by the hand, while 
 he was yet undecided, and pulled him away towards her 
 rival's apartments. Chifiinch^ being in her interest. Miss 
 
 * The name of tliis person occurs very often in the secret history of 
 this reign. Wood, in enumerating the king's supper companions, 
 says, they meet " either in the lodgings of Lodovisa, Duchess of Ports- 
 mouth, or in those of Cheffing (Chiffinch), near the back stairs, or 
 
 in the apartment of Eleanor Quin (Gwyn), or in that of Baptist May ; 
 
 but he losing his credit, Chefhng had the greatest trust among 
 
 them." Atkence Oxon., vol. ii., 1038. So great was the confidence re- 
 posed in him, that he was the receiver of the secret pensions paid by the 
 court of France to the King of England.— See the Luke of Leedii Let- 
 ters, 1710, pp. 9, 17, 33. 
 
 23—2 
 
356 MEMOIES OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 Stewart could have no warning of the visit ; and Babiani, who 
 owed all to the Duchess of Cleveland, and who served her 
 admirably well upon this occasion, came and told her that the 
 Duke of Eichmond had just gone into Miss Stewart's chamber. 
 It was in the middle of a little gallery, which, through a 
 private door, led from the king's apartments to those of his 
 mistresses. The Duchess of Cleveland wished him good night, 
 as he entered her rival's chamber, and retired, in order to wait 
 the success of the adventure, of which Babiani, who attended 
 the king, was charged to come and give her an account. 
 
 It was near midnight : the king, in his way, met his mis- 
 tress's chamber-maids, who respectfully opposed his entrance, 
 and in a very low voice, whispered his majesty that Miss 
 Stewart had been very ill since he left her : but that, being 
 gone to bed, she was, God be thanked, in a very fine sleep. 
 " That I must see," said the king, pushing her back, who had 
 posted herself in his way. He found Miss Stewart in bed,, 
 indeed, but far from being asleep : the Duke of Eichmond was 
 seated at her pillow, and in all probability was less inclined 
 to sleep than herseK. The perplexity of the one party, and 
 the rage of the other, were such as may easily be imagined 
 upon such a surprise. The king, who, of all men, was one of 
 the most mild and gentle, testified his resentment to the Duke 
 of Eichmond in such terms as he had never before used. The 
 duke was speechless, and almost petrified : he saw his master 
 
 Chiffinch's more important duties are intimated in the beginning of a 
 satirical poem of the time, entitled, " Sir Edmondbury Godfrey's 
 Ghost." 
 
 It happen'd, in the twilight of the day, 
 As England's monarch in his closet lay, 
 And Chiffinch stepped to fetch the female prey, 
 The bloody shape of Godfrey did appear, &c. 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GEAMMONT. 357 
 
 and his king justly irritated. The first transports which rage 
 inspires on such occasions are dangerous. Miss Stewart's 
 window was very convenient for a sudden revenge, the 
 Thames flowing close beneath it : he cast his eyes upon 
 it ; and, seeing those of the king more incensed and fired with 
 indignation than he thought his nature capable of, he made a 
 profound bow, and retired, without replying a single word to 
 the vast torrent of threats and menaces that were poured 
 upon him. 
 
 Miss Stewart, having a little recovered from her first sur- 
 prise,^ instead of justifying herself, began to talk in the most 
 extravagant manner, and said everything that was most capable 
 to inflame the king's passion and resentment ; that, if she were 
 not allowed to receive visits from a man of the Duke of Eich- 
 mond's rank, who came with honourable intentions, she was a 
 slave in a free country ; that she knew of no engagement that 
 could prevent her from disposing of her hand as she thought 
 proper ; but, however, if this was not permitted her in his 
 dominions, she did not believe that there was any power on 
 earth that could hinder her from going over to France, and 
 throwing herself into a convent, to enjoy there that tranquil- 
 lity which was denied her in his court.. The king, sometimes 
 furious with anger, sometimes relenting at her tears, and some- 
 times terrified at her menaces, was so greatly agitated, that he 
 knew not how to answer, either the nicety of a creature who 
 wanted to act the part of Lucretia under his own eye, or the 
 assurance with which she had the effrontery to reproach him. 
 In this suspense, love had almost entirely vanquished all his 
 resentments, and had nearly induced him to throw himself 
 upon his knees, and entreat pardon for the injury he had done 
 
 * See Bishop Burnet's account of Miss Stewart's marriage, in his 
 History of His own Times, vol. i., p. 353. 
 
358 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 her, when she desired him to retire, and leave her in repose» 
 at least for the remainder of that night, without offending 
 those who had either accompanied him, or conducted him to 
 her apartments, by a longer visit. This impertinent request 
 provoked and irritated him to the highest degree : he went 
 out abruptly, vowing never to see her more, and passed the 
 most restless and uneasy night he had ever experienced since 
 his restoration. 
 
 The next day the Duke of Eichmond received orders to quit 
 the court, and never more to appear before the king ; but it 
 seems he had not waited for those orders, having set out early 
 that morning for his country seat. 
 
 Miss Stewart, in order to obviate all injurious constructions 
 that might be put upon the adventure of the preceding night, 
 went and threw herself at the queen's feet ; where, acting the 
 new part of an innocent Magdalen, she entreated her majesty's 
 forgiveness for all the sorrow and uneasiness she might have 
 already occasioned her. She told her majesty that a constant 
 and sincere repentance had induced her to contrive all possible 
 means for retiring from court : that this reason had inclined 
 her to receive the Duke of Eichmond's addresses, who had 
 courted her a long time ; but since this courtship had caused 
 his disgrace, and had likewise raised a vast noise and dis- 
 turbance, which perhaps might be turned to the prejudice of 
 her reputation, she conjured her majesty to take her under 
 her protection, and endeavour to obtain the king's permission 
 for her to retire into a convent, to remove at once all those 
 vexations and troubles her presence had innocently occasioned 
 at court. All this was accompanied with a proper deluge of 
 tears. 
 
 It is a very agreeable spectacle to see a rival prostrate at 
 our feet, entreating pardon, and at the same time justifying 
 
MEMOIES OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 359 
 
 her conduct. The queen's heart not only relented, but she 
 mingled her own tears with those of Miss Stewart. After 
 having raised her up, and most tenderly embraced her, she 
 promised her all manner of favour and protection, either in 
 her marriage, or in any other course she thought fit to pursue, 
 and parted from her with the firm resolution to exert all her 
 interest in her support : but, being a person of great judgment, 
 the reflections which she afterwards made, induced her to 
 change her opinion. 
 
 She knew that the king's disposition was not capable of an 
 obstinate constancy. She therefore judged that absence 
 would cure him, or that a new engagement would by degrees 
 entirely efface the remembrance of Miss Stewart ; and that, 
 since she could not avoid having a rival, it was more desirable 
 she should be one who had given such eminent proofs of her 
 prudence and virtue. Besides, she flattered herself that the 
 king would ever think himself eternally obliged to her, for 
 having opposed the retreat and marriage of a girl, whom at 
 that time he loved to distraction. This fine reasoning deter- 
 mined her conduct. All her industry was employed in per- 
 suading Miss Stewart to abandon her schemes ; and what is 
 most extraordinary in this adventure, is, that, after having 
 prevailed upon her to think no more either of the Duke of 
 Eichmond, or of a nunnery, she charged herself with the 
 office of reconciling these two lovers. 
 
 Indeed it would have been a thousand pities if her nego- 
 ciation had miscarried : but she did not suffer this misfortune ; 
 for never were the king's addresses so eager and passionate as 
 after this peace, nor ever better received by the fair Stewart. 
 
 His majesty did not long enjoy the sweets of a reconcilia- 
 tion, which brought him into the best good humour possible, 
 as we shall see. All Europe was in a profound peace, since 
 
o60 MEMOIES OF COUNT GEAMMONT. 
 
 tlie treaty of tlie Pyrenees : Spain flattered herself she should 
 be able to recruit, by means of the new alliance she had con- 
 tracted with the most formidable of her neighbours ; but 
 despaired of being able to support the shattered remains of a 
 declining monarchy, when she considered the age and infirmi- 
 ties of her prince, or the j^weakness of his successor : France, 
 on the contrary, governed by a king indefatigable in business, 
 young, vigilant, and ambitious of glory, wanted nothing but 
 inclination to aggrandize herself. 
 
 It was about this time, that the king of France, not 
 willing to disturb the tranquillity of Europe, was persuaded 
 to alarm the coasts of Africa, by an attempt, which, if it had 
 even been crowned with success, would have produced little 
 good ; but the king's fortune, ever faithful to his glory, has 
 since made it appear, by the miscarriage of the expedition of 
 Gigeri,'^ that such projects only as were planned by himself 
 were worthy of his attention. 
 
 A short time after, the king of England, having resolved 
 also to explore the African coasts, fitted out a squadron for 
 an expedition to Guinea, which was to be commanded by 
 Prince Eupert. Those who, from their own experience, had 
 some knowledge of the country, related strange and wonder- 
 ful stories of the dangers attendant upon this expedition: 
 that they would have to fight not only the inhabitants of 
 
 * Gigeri is about forty leagues from Algiers. Till the year 1664 the 
 Prench had a factory there ; but then attempting to build a fort on the 
 sea-coast, to be a check upon the Arabs, they came down from the 
 mountains, beat the French out of Gigeri, and demolished their fort. 
 Sir Richard Fanshaw, in a letter to the deputy governor of Tangier, 
 dated 2nd December, 1664, N.S., says, *' We have certain intelligence 
 that the French have lost Gigheria^ with all they had there, and their 
 fleet come back, with the loss of one considerable ship upon the rocks 
 near Marseilles." — Fansliaiu's Letters, vol. i. p. 347. 
 
MEMOIKS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 361 
 
 Guinea, a hellisli people, whose arrows were poisoned, and 
 who never gave their prisoners better quarter than to devour 
 them, but that they must likewise endure heats that were in- 
 supportable, and rains that were intolerable, every drop of 
 which was changed into a serpent : that, if they penetrated 
 farther into the country, they would be assaulted by monsters 
 a thousand times more hideous and destructive than all the 
 beasts mentioned in the Eevelations. 
 
 But all these reports were vain and ineffectual : for so far 
 from striking terror into those who were appointed to go upon 
 this expedition, it rather acted as an incentive to glory, upon 
 those who had no manner of business in it. Jermyn appeared 
 among the foremost of those; and, without reflecting that 
 the pretence of his indisposition had delayed the conclusion 
 of his marriage with Miss Jennings, he asked the duke's per- 
 mission, and the king's consent to serve in it as a volunteer. 
 
 Some time before this, the infatuation which had imposed 
 upon the fair Jennings in his favour had begun to subside. 
 All that now inclined her to this match were the advantages 
 of a settlement. The careless indolence of a lover, who 
 faintly paid his addresses to her, as it were from custom or 
 habit, disgusted her ; and the resolution he had taken, mth- 
 out consulting her, appeared so ridiculous in him, and sa 
 injurious to herself, that, from that moment, she resolved to 
 think no more of him. Her eyes being opened by degrees, 
 she saw the fallacy of the splendour, which had at first 
 deceived her; and the renowned Jermyn was received 
 according to his real merit when he came to acquaint her 
 with his heroical project. There appeared so much indiffer- 
 ence and ease in the raillery with which she complimented 
 him upon his voyage, that he was entirely disconcerted, and 
 so much the more so, as he had prepared all the arguments 
 
362 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 he thought capable of consoling her, upon announcing to her 
 tlie fatal news of his departure. She told him, " that no- 
 thing could be more glorious for him, who had triumphed 
 over the liberty of so many persons in Europe, than to go 
 and extend his conquests in other parts of the w^orld ; and 
 that she advised him to brinoj home with him all the female 
 -captives he might make in Africa, in order to replace those 
 beauties whom his absence would bring to the grave." 
 
 Jermyn was highly displeased that she should be capable 
 of raillery in the condition he supposed her reduced to ; but 
 he soon perceived she was in earnest : she told him, that she 
 considered this farewell visit as his last, and desired him not 
 to think of making her any more before his departure. 
 
 Thus far everything went well on her side : Jermyn was 
 not only confounded at having received his discharge in so 
 cavalier a manner ; but this very demonstration of her in- 
 difference had revived, and even redoubled, all the love and 
 affection he had formerly felt for her. Thus she had both 
 tlie pleasure of despising him, and of seeing him more en- 
 tangled in the chains of love than he had ever been before. 
 This was not sufficient : she wished still farther, and very 
 xmadvisedly, to strain her resentment. 
 
 Ovid's Epistles,* translated into English verse by the gi'eat- 
 ost wits at court, having lately been published, she wrote a 
 letter from a shepherdess in despair, addressed to the perfidious 
 Jermyn. She took the epistle of Ariadne to Theseus for her 
 model. The beginning of this letter contained, word for word, 
 the complaints and reproaches of that injured fair to the cruel 
 man by whom she had been abandoned. All this was properly 
 adapted to the present times and circumstances. It was her 
 
 * This is the translation of Ovid's Epistles published by Mr. Dryden. 
 The second edition of it was printed in 1681. 
 
^^ ^i: IK.1I S T ]S M ^I'l iR D: IL" 'l \^. :1a ih 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GKAMMONT. 363 
 
 design to have closed this piece with a description of the toils, 
 perils, and monsters, that awaited him in Guinea, for which he 
 quitted a tender mistress, who was plunged into the abyss of 
 misery, and was overwhelmed with grief and despair ; but not 
 having had time to finish it, nor to get that which she had 
 written transcribed, in order to send it to him under a feigned 
 name, she inconsiderately put this fragment, written in her 
 own hand, into her pocket, and, still more giddily, dropped it 
 in the middle of the court. Those who took it up, knowing 
 her writing, made several copies of it, which were circulated 
 all over the town ; but her former conduct had so well es- 
 tablished the reputation of her virtue, that no person enter- 
 tained the smallest doubt but the circumstances were exactly 
 as we have related them. Some time after, the Guinea expe- 
 dition was laid aside for reasons that are universally known, 
 and Miss Jenning's subsequent proceedings fully justified her 
 letter ; for, notwithstanding all the efforts and attentions Jer- 
 myn practised to regain her affections, she would never more 
 hear of him. 
 
 But he was not the only man who experienced the whimsi- 
 cal fatality, that seemed to delight in disuniting hearts, in order 
 to engage them soon after to different objects. One would 
 have imagined that the God of Love, actuated by some new 
 caprice, had placed his empire under the dominion of Hymen, 
 iind had, at the same time, blind-folded that God, in order to 
 €ross-match most of the lovers whom we have been speaking of» 
 
 The fair Stewart married the Duke of Kichmond ; the invin- 
 cible Jermyn, a silly country girl f Lord Eochester, a melan- 
 choly heiress ;f the sprightly Temple, the serious Lyttleton ; 
 
 * Miss Gibbs, daughter of a gentleman in the county of Cambridge, 
 t Elizabeth, daughter of John Mallet, of Enmere, in the county of 
 Somerset. 
 
364 MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 
 
 Talbot, witliout knowing wliy or wherefore, took to wife the 
 languishing Boynton ;* George Hamilton, under more favour- 
 able auspices, married the lovely Jennings ; and the Chevalier 
 de Grammont, as the reward of a constancy he had never be- 
 fore known, and which he never afterwards practised, found 
 Hymen and Love united in his favour, and was at last blessed 
 with the possession of Miss Hamilton.-|- 
 
 * After the deaths of Miss Boynton and of George Hamilton, Talbot 
 married Miss Jennings, and became aftei'warda Duke of Tyrconnel. 
 
 t " The famous Count Grammont was thought to be the original of 
 The Forced Marriage. This nobleman, during his stay at the court of 
 England, had made love to Miss Hamilton, but was coming away for 
 France without bringing matters to a proper conclusion. The young 
 lady's brothel's pursued him, and came up with him near Dover, in order 
 to exchange some pistol-sliot with him : They called out, ' Count Gram- 
 mont, have you forgot nothing at London f ' Excuse me,' answered the 
 Count, guessing their errand, ' I forgot to marry your sister ; so lead 
 on, and let us finish that affair.' By the pleasantry of the answer, this 
 was the same Grammont who commanded at the siege of a place, the 
 governor of which capitulated after a short defence, and obtained an 
 easy capitulation. The governor then said to Monsieur Grammont, 
 * I'll tell you a secret — that the reason of my capitulation was, because 
 I was in want of powder.' Monsieur replied, ' And secret for secret — 
 the reason of my granting you such an easy capitulation was, because I 
 was in want of ball." — Biog. Gallica, vol. i., p. 202. 
 
 Count Grammont and his lady left England in 1669. King Charles 
 in a letter to his sister, the Duchess of Orleans, dated 24th October, in 
 that year, says, " I writt to you yesterday, by the Compte de Gram- 
 mont, but I beleeve this letter will come sooner to your handes ; for he 
 goes by the way of Diep, with his wife and family : and now that I 
 have named her, I cannot chuse but againe desire you to be kinde to 
 her ; for, besides the merrit her family has on both sides, she is as 
 good a creature as ever lived. I beleeve she will passe for a handsome 
 woman in France, though she has not yett, since her lying-inn, re- 
 covered that good shape she had before, and I am affraide never will." 
 — Dalrymple's Memoirs, vol. ii. p. 26. 
 
 " The Count de Grammont fell dangerously ill in the year 1696 ; of 
 which the king (Louis XIV.) being informed, and knowing, besides^ 
 
MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT. 365 
 
 that he was inclined to libertinism, he was pleased to send the Marquis 
 of Dangeau to see how he did, and to advise him to think of God. 
 Hereupon Count de Grammont, turning towards his wife, who had ever 
 been a very devout lady, told her,Countess, if you don't look to it, Dangeau 
 will juggle you out of my conversion. Madame de TEnclos having after- 
 wards written to M. de St. Evremond that Count de Grammont was re- 
 covered, and turned devout,— I have learned, answered he to her, with 
 a greal deal of pleasure, that Count de Grammont has recovered his 
 former health, and acquired a new devotion. Hitherto I have been con- 
 tented with being a plain honest man ; but I must do something more ; 
 and I only wait for your example to become a devotee. You live in a 
 country where people have wonderful advantages of saving their souls : 
 there vice is almost as opposite to the mode as to virtue; sinning passes for 
 ill-breeding, and shocks decency and good manners, as much as religion, 
 Formerly it was enough to be wicked ; now one must be a scoundrel 
 withal, to be damned in France. They who have not regard enough for 
 another life, are led to salvation by the consideration and duties of this." 
 — " But there is enough upon a subject in which the conversion of the 
 Count de Grammont has engaged me : I believe it to be sincere and 
 honest. It well becomes a man who is not young, to forget he has been 
 so." — Life of St. Evremond, hy Des Marzeaux, p. 136 ; and St. Evre- 
 mond/ s Woi^lcs, vol. ii. p. 431. 
 
 It appears that a report had been spread that our hero was dead. 
 St. Evremond, in a letter to De TEnclos, says, " they talk here as if the 
 Count de Grammont was dead, which touches me with a very sensible 
 grief.'' — St. Evremond's Works, vol. iii., p. 39 . And the same lady, in 
 her answer, says, " Madame de Coulanges has undertaken to make your 
 compliments to the Count de Grammont, by the Countess de Gram- 
 mont. He is so young, that I think him as light as when he hated sick 
 people, and loved them after they had recovered their health." — Ibid. 
 p. 59. 
 
 At length Count de Grammont, after a long life, died, the 10th 
 January, 1707, at the age of 86 years. 
 
 See a letter from St. Evremond to Count de Grammont on the death 
 of his brother, Count de Toulongeon. — St. Evremond''s Works, vol. ii., p. 
 -327. 
 
INDEX OF NAMES. 
 
 Anne of Austria, 60 
 Arlington, Earl of, 150, 151 
 
 , Countess of, 152 
 
 Arran, Earl of, 95, 154, 173, 
 
 174, 186, 189 
 Arscot, Due d', 66 
 
 Bagot, Miss, 238, 242, 244 
 Bardou, Miss, 229, 235 
 Barker, Mrs., 254 
 Barry, Mrs., 271 
 Batteville, Baron do, 27, 28 
 Bellenden, Miss, 229, 235 
 Blague, Miss, 127, 129, 130, 132, 
 
 134, 135, 139, 239 
 Boynton, Miss, 238, 273, 312, 364 
 Brice, Don Gregorio, 161 
 Brinon, 15, 16, 17, 19 
 Brisacier, 128, 138, 139, 239 
 Brissac, Due de, 217, 218, 219 
 Bristol, Earl of, 182 
 Brook, Misses, 102, 183, 184 
 Brounker, 287, 289, 290 
 Buckingham, Duchess of, 335, 
 
 336 
 Buckingham, Duke of, 93, 145, 
 
 146, 333, 334, 335 
 Bussi, 3, 183 
 
 Cameran, Count, 22, 23, 24, 25 
 
 Carlingford, Lord, 344, 345 
 
 Carnegy. _ See Southesk 
 
 Castlemaine, Countess of, 100, 
 117, 150, 154, 158, 166, 169, 
 170, 183, 188, 275, 279, 329, 331, 
 337, 342, 347, 350, 354, 356 
 
 Charles II., 83, 84, 85, 86, 89 
 
 Chesterfield, Countess of, 101,. 
 
 152, 168, 171, 182, 185, 186, 
 
 187, 191, 194, 196, 203, 205, 208, 
 
 210, 215, 307 
 , Earl of, 168, 171, 185, 
 
 187, 191, 196, 197, 199, 201, 207, 
 
 213 214 
 Chiffilich, 354, 355 
 Churchill, Miss, 306, 309, 314, 315 
 ■ , Duke of Marlborough,. 
 
 348, 349 
 Clarendon, Earl of. 90, 91 
 Cleveland. See Castlemaine 
 Comminge, Mons de, 156 
 Conde, Prince de, 58, 59, 60, 62, 
 
 63,67,68,75,78, 161, 162, 164 
 Cornwallis, Lord, 227 
 Crofts, 190, 345 
 Cromwell, Oliver, 82 
 
 Davis, Mrs., 353 
 Denham, Sir John, 184, 207 
 
 , Lady, 185, 195, 204,: 
 
 206, 207 
 Dorset, Duke of, 201, 203, 350 
 Dongon, 240 
 Duncan, 134 
 
 Etheridge, Sir George, 202, 203 
 
 Falmouth, Earl of, 93, 144, 155,, 
 
 156, 173, 175, 222, 244 
 Feraulas, 319 
 Feversham, Earl of, 240 
 Fielding, Miss, 238 
 Fiesque, Countess, 111 
 Flamarens, 220, 221, 229 
 
INDEX OF NAMES. 
 
 367 
 
 Fox, Sir Stephen, 227, 228 
 Francisco, 186 
 
 Gaboury, 74 
 
 Garde, Miss de la, 229, 230, 235 
 
 Gibbs, Miss, 363 
 
 Gloucester, Duke of, 87 
 
 Grammont, Mar6chal de, 161, 324 
 
 Guise, Duke of, 136, 158, 178 
 
 Gwyn, Nell, 277, 350, 351, 353 
 
 Hall, Jacob, 118, 276 
 
 Hamilton, Anthony. See Preface 
 
 , George, 96, 152, 168, 
 
 169, 170, 185, 188, 189, 190, 191, 
 193, 194, 196, 197, 198, 208, 216, 
 293, 294, 295, 339, 340, 341, 342, 
 343, 344, 364 
 
 James, 96, 339 
 
 Hamilton, Miss, 122, 124, 126, 128, 
 130, 135, 137, 142, 145, 163, 166, 
 167, 205, 206, 221, 228, 272, 290, 
 294, 296, 298, 302, 304, 316, 318, 
 327, 338, 364 
 
 Henrietta Maria, QueenDowager, 
 98, 104, 105 
 
 Hobart, Miss, 238, 242, 243, 244, 
 250, 251, 252, 258, 259, 260, 261, 
 262, 264, 267, 307, 308, 309 
 
 Hopital, Mademoiselle de 1', 327 
 
 Howard, Henry, 143 
 
 , Thomas, 119 
 
 Humiferes, Marechal de, 65, 67 
 
 Hughes, Mrs., 301 
 
 Hyde, Anne, Duchess of York, 90, 
 104,158,172,176,306 
 
 Hyde, Mrs., 117 
 
 Jennings, Miss, 244, 247, 273, 282, 
 
 286, 364 
 Jermyn, 99, 119, 172, 175,279, 363 
 Jones, Earl of Kanelagh, 113 
 
 Katharine, Queen Infanta of Por- 
 tugal, 88, 102, 103, 153, 335, 337, 
 338 
 
 Killegrew, 173, 231, 234, 264, 265, 
 268, 270, 331, 334 
 
 Kirk, Miss. See Warminster 
 
 La Motte, 66 
 Lely, Sir Peter, 205 
 Leopold, Archduke, 62 
 Levingston, Miss, 238 
 L'Orme, Madame de, 217 
 Louis XIIL, 5 
 
 XIV., 78 
 
 Lussan, Mons. de, 67, 68 
 Lyttleton, Sir Charles, 246, 256, 
 363 
 
 Madame Eoyale, 30 
 
 Marshall, Mrs., 254 
 
 Matta, 31, 49, 54 
 
 Mazarin, Cardinal, 60, 75 
 
 , Peter, 75 
 
 Melo, Francisco de, 103 
 
 Meneville, Madame, 80 
 
 Middlesex. See Dorset 
 
 Middleton, 101, 113, 114, 121,122, 
 124, 126, 141, 142, 166 
 
 Monmouth, Duke of, 328, 330 
 
 . , Duchess of, 330 j 
 
 Montagu, Edward, 313 
 
 , Kalph, 121, 313 
 
 Montmorency, 69 
 
 Motte, Houdancourt, Mademoi- 
 selle de, 80 
 
 Muskerry, Lord, 128, 137, 298, 302 
 
 , Lady, 126, 128, 132, 302, 
 
 303, 304 
 
 Newcastle, Duchess of, 137 
 
 Olonne, Mademoiselle, 111 
 Orange, Princess of, 88, 100 
 Orleans, Madame, Duchess of, 325 
 Ormond, Duke of, 91, 225 
 Ossory, Earl of, 96 
 Oxford, Earl of, 254, 255 
 
 Pan^tra, Donna, 103 
 Poussatin, 160, 163, 164 
 Pralin, Du Plessis, 6, 74 
 Price, Miss, 134, 135, 139, 238, 
 
 239, 240, 241, 242, 258, 265, 269, 
 
 275, 279, 283, 285, 288 
 Progers, Edward, 237 
 
368 
 
 INDEX OF NAMES. 
 
 Sydney, Robert, 97, 309 
 Sylva, Don Pedro, 103 
 
 Eawlings, Giles, 121 
 Richelieu, Cardinal, 5 
 Richmond, Duke of, 230, 231, 355, 
 
 356, 358, 359, 363 Taaffe, Lord, 229, 231, 233 
 
 -, Duchess of. iS'ee Stewart Talbot, Duke of Tyrconnel, 173, 
 
 Robarts, Lady, 180, 181, 182 
 
 , Lord, 180, 181 
 
 Rochester, Earl of, 201, 202, 239, 
 
 243, 249, 256, 267, 280, 363 
 Rupert, Prince, 131, 300, 301 
 Russell, John, 141, 165, 166 
 , William, 141 
 
 tSt. Albans, Earl of, 93, 98 
 
 St. Chamont, Mme. de, 315, 325 
 
 &t. Evremond, 3, 107, 109, 112, 
 
 142, 145, 199,365 
 St. Germain, Madame de, 32, 34, 
 
 41, 42, 45 
 Saucourt, 323 
 
 Sedley, Sir Charles, 201, 203 
 Senantes, Madame de, 32, 42 
 
 ■ , Marquis of, 44 
 
 Shrewsbury, Countess of, 101, 115, 
 
 118,119, 121,204,224,334 
 Silvius, Sir Gabriel, 236 
 Southesk, Lady, 177, 222 
 Stewart, Miss, 115, 145, 190, 249, 
 
 331, 354, 363 
 Suze, Countess de la, 220 
 
 174, 178, 222, 223, 225, 272, 364 
 Talbot, Peter, 224 
 
 , Thomas, 224 
 
 Tambonneau, 220, 221, 222 
 Tanes, Count de, 30 
 Taurauvedez, 103 
 Temple, Miss, 244, 249, 257, 363 
 Termes, 126, 131, 135, 319 
 Thanet, Lord, 131 
 Thomas, Prince, 6 
 Toulongeon, 143, 144, 365 
 Turenne, Marechal de, 27, 63, 65 
 
 Vendome, Caesar de, 13 
 Villeroy, 74 
 
 Warminster, Miss, 114, 122, 228, 
 
 235 
 Wells, Miss, 236, 237, 238, 246 
 Wetenhall, Mrs., 290, 291, 292, 
 
 293, 294, 296, 302, 303, 304, 339 
 
 YarboFOoigh, Sir Thomas, 127, 239 
 
 York, James, Duke of, 65, 89, 140, 
 
 171, 177, 181, 185, 205, 246, 304. 
 
 THE END. 
 
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