a T VOICE TO YOUTH, ADDRESSED TO YOUNG MEN AND YOUNG LADIES. BY REV. J. M. AUSTIN %; UTICA: GROSH AND HUTCHINSON. 1838. "t* i, e Xi^a.l ^^f7 Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1838, by Grosh and Hutchinson, in the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United States, for the North- ern District of New- York. C. C. P. Grosh, Printer. CONTENTS. A VOICE TO YOUTH. Introduction. 1 Chapter I.— The necessity of reflection. 10 Chapter 11, — Claims on youth. 17 Chapter III. — Formation of character. 27 Chapter IV.— -The good opinion of others, 34 Chapter V, — On reading. 40 Chapter VI. — Practical observation. 54 Chapter VII. — Independence of mind, 61 Chapter VIIL— Politeness. 70 Chapter IX. — Letter writing, 82 Chapter X.~Religious opinions, 88 Chapter XL —Treatment of reUgious erroT. 107 A VOICE TO YOUNG MEN. Chapter I. — Introduction — Selection of associates. 1 17 Chapter IL — Temptations, 125 Chapter III.— The habits. 136 Chapter IV.— Conversation, 161 Chapter V. — Amusements. 173 Chapter VI.— Dress. 181 Chapter VII. — General demeanor. 188 IV Chapter VIII.— Cultivating the mind. 201 Chapter IX.— Establishing fixed principles. 214 Chapter X. — Stability of purpose. 222 Chapter XL— Politics. 230 Chapter XII.— Marriage. 236 A VOICE TO YOUNG LADIES. Chapter I. — Introduction. 253 Chapter II. — Female influence. 261 Chapter III. — Early associates. 277 Chapter IV. — Forming the manners. 284 Chapter V.— The habits. 298 Chapter VI. — Domestic duties. 310 Chapter VII.— Dress. . 321 Chapter VIII.— Recreations. 332 Chapter IX.— Mental cultivation. 341 Chapter X.— The disposition. 350 Chapter XL — Conversation. 358 Chapter XIL— Self-government. 369 Chapter XIIL— Marriage. 379 PUBLISHERS' PREFACE. Though works intended for the direction and guidance of young gentlemen and ladies, are already very numer- ous, and many of them highly worthy of public patron- age, yet the most of them seemed objectionable to us, because of their religious instruction. Errors on so im- portant a subject, especially when addressed to the young, can not be too carefully guarded against, and it appeared to us that by the manner of presentation, as well as by the cheerless and terrific views presented, too many of these works were calculated to render religion a gloomy, forbidden and repulsive object to the youthful mind. — Others, more intent on rendering their works acceptable to the youthful taste as it is, than of directing that taste to what it should he, have altogether avoided that impor- tant subject — the only immutable standard of morality and propriety — and based their instructions on the fashion of this world, which passeth away in continual changes. With these feelings and views, and anxious to supply the denomination to which we belong, in particular, with a work to which they could not object, at least on reli- gious grounds, we induced Mr. Austin to undertake this work. It was published, in a series of articles, in the Evangelical Magazine and Gospel Advocate, in the years 1837 and 1838, and met, we believe, with very general approbation from probably 35,000 or 40,000 readers.— The classes particularly addressed, have been much in- VI terested, so far as we can learn, in its perusal, and many have expressed much gratification on learning that it was to appear,, also, in a more permanent and convenient form. Believing that as a book it will be read again, with more pleasure, and as much benefit as at first — and that many, who had not the pleasure of perusing it as it appeared week by week in the Magazine and Advocate, will be benefited and pleased by its perusal in this form, it is now published in a neat volume, and offered for pub- lic patronage. All who wish for a gift which they can present to a youthful friend, without a fear of offending the purest literary taste, the chastest deUcacy, or the most fervent piety, will find it in this work. That it may be greatly blessed of our heavenly Father in inspiring a spirit of cheerful devotion, a correct taste^ and a pure and affectionate morality among the rising generation, our country's hope and pride, is the fervent prayer of The Publishers. Utica, June 1, 1838. A VOICE TO YOUTH. INTRODUCTION. Early youth is justly considered the most in- teresting and important, yet dangerous period of human existence. It is interesting, because of the innocence, the hilarity, and the zest for enjoy- ment, which is then evinced. The mind, like the morning flower, at this period, begins more fully to open its leaves to be impressed with the enli- vening rays of the sun of knowledge, and evinces by the gradual developement of its powers, that its possessor belongs to a grade of beings vastly more elevated than the brute creation. Youth is the most important time of life, inasmuch as the habits then begin to lay their foundations — the character commences its formation, and the occu- pation is to be chosen — upon which depend main- ly, the enjoyments and prosperity of after life. And it is the most dangerous period, because, ardent, volatile, inexperienced, and thirsting for happiness, the young are exceedingly liable to be seduced into wrong paths — into those fascinating, but fatal ways, which lead to degradation and wretchedness. It is at this season, that the sports and amusements of childhood, lose their charm and their influence. Childish things are put away, 1 2 INTRODUCTION. and there commences a desire, and a looking up, for more mature, yet more dangerous sources of enjoyment. As the gallant bark leaves the secure haven to go out upon the bosom of the mighty deep, with its snow white sails spread to the inviting wind, its broad flag and gay streamers floating in air- bounding o'er the billows " as a thing of life," and wholly unconscious that Ocean, in its far- regions, is nursing the whirlwind and the storm — so youth launches upon the vast sea of life, decked with the gay fancies of the bright morning of existence ; spreads the wide expanded sails of hope, and fain would believe that an ever-favoring breeze will speedily waft to prosperity and peace. But the young should be aware that, as the wide waste of waters is ploughed into the mountain wave by the fury of the Avind, so life is often beset by the howl- ing tempest of misfortune ; and that upon the one, as upon the other, unless they are guided by the pilots, wisdom and discretion, shipwrecked hopes and blasted anticipations must ensue. Young ladies and young gentlemen — I crave your attention for a short season, from time to time, as I proceed in a series of Essays, on a variety of subjects intimately connected with your Avelfare and happiness. Will you lend me a lis- tening ear ? Will you occasionally devote an hour, to hear what I have to offer upon topics, which you will acknowledge are of the utmost INTRODUCTION. 3 ktiportance to your peace and prosperity ? Come, sit down with me, and in a friendly manner, we will converse upon those things which pertain to your future success in life. I am aware that, upon the ears of some youth, the word advice grates harshly. But I attribute this dislike more to the improper manner in which they have been in- structed, than to any natural bias. Parents and instructors often seem to imagine there is no method to advise the young, but in the harsh tones of reproof and upbraiding. And the effect of such a course, is to harden those whom they would benefit, and cause them to dislike every thing which comes in the form of counsel. Ad- vice, to be effectual, must be clothed in words of affection and kindness, and accompanied with a tender regard for the feelings of those to whom it is tendered ; and it should be given in such man- ner as not to imply the degradation of those who are its objects. In this manner, I think it can not truly be said, that, as a general rule, youth are averse to counsel. Nevertheless, it is well known that one of the common faihngs of the young, is to be wise in their own conceit — to imagine they can get along quite well of themselves, and that they can discover coming evils and avoid them, as readily as their elders in life. This wisdom, how- ever, is of a premature growth, and generally passes away as age advances ; but often, not until it has involved its possessor in trouble and mis- 4 INTRODUCTIOIT. fortunes which sometimes extend through life. Hence have arisen those common sayings, that youth is wiser at ffteen than at thirty — i. e. in its own estimation— and that the first indication of true wisdom in the young, is, their ascertaining and acknowledging how little they do, in reality, know. Listen! You desire to be happy — you thirst for enjoyment. This is natural, and it is proper. God has designedly implanted this desire within you, and he is perfectly willing that you should gratify it in the proper manner ! But, remember that in this, as in every thing else, there is a right way and a wrong way to accomplish your object. If you adopt the right way, the desired good is speedily obtained and enjoyed. But if, unhap- pily, you select the wrong way, so far from secu- ring the wished for happiness, you will reap nought but misfortune, degradation and wretchedness. And in pursuing this wrong course, however you may imagine, for a season, under the fascinations which evil often assumes, that you have found the real enjoyment desired, you will ere long disco- ver — and often too late — that you have embraced a gilded shadow, filled with human wo, while the actual good is far from you. You can but per- ceive, therefore, the critical condition in which you stand, and the importance and necessity of obtaining counsel in regard to your future con- duet. INTRODUCTION. 5 Were you about to travel into a far land, a stranger to the way, and though conscious that your course would be surrounded by innumerable dangers, yet ignorant of their nature and of the best means to avoid them, how anxious would you be to obtain information and advice ! Pru- dence, and the desire of self-preservation, would dictate the propriety of seeking some individual who had travelled the road, or the most danger- ous portions of it, and of obtaining his instruc- tion in relation to the nature and situation of the dangers, and his advice regarding measures to es- cape them. And what is life, but a journey to a distant clime, upon an untried highway? This important journey the young are just commenc- ing. Undoubtedly, in the exuberance of youth- ful fancy, all appears fair and bright before you. Vivid imagmation strews your pathway with the gayest and sweetest flowers of existence. How bright and beautiful is the future pictured to the young mind ! No clouds or darkness intervene to throw a shade of sadness on the fair prospect of youth's morning. "Gay are the flowers without a thorn, And bright the hues of opening day : Wild music lingers in its bowers — Grateful the fragrance of its flowers — And all betokens bliss. Hope weaves her wild enchanting song, And sings at every path along, That all shall be like tAis." But notwithstanding the captivating visions of the imagination, and the sweet whisperings of hope, 6 iNTRODUCTIOPf. you well know that your way will be beset by many, many dangers. Appearances are often very deceitful. "Poisonous berries frequently look tempting to the appetite — ice, when it sometimes seems sound, if ventured upon, will break, and let him who is daring into the waters — and the wise man says, that ' wine, when it giveth its color in the cup, at the last biteth like a serpent, and stingeth like an adder.' " The rose grows in close proximity to the thorn, and beneath the fair- est flowers, sometimes nestle the poisonous rep- tile and the envenomed scorpion. Permit not, then, the beauty in which your fancy paints the future, to lull you into false security in respect to the dangers which that future conceals, or to the necessity of guarding yourselves against them. It rather becomes your safety and interest, as well as duty, to seek diligently for all the instruction and knowledge which can throw light upon your way, in the intricate and uneven windings of earth- ly existence. Are additional inducements necessary, to cause you to listen to counsel and admonition ? Look abroad into the world. Here is an individual who enjoys the respect and confidence of community. The aged venerate him, and " the young rise up and call him blessed." He has no enemies — all are his friends — all confide in him, all know him. How has he obtained this universal esteem ? — how has he ascended this eminence of respect ? INTRODUCTION. 7 In seeking for happiness, he consulted the expe- rience of those who had travelled before him — he studied the history of his race, and marked where others had failed, that he might avoid their errors — he listened patiently to words of advice, and in this way, found the true path and faithfully pur- sued it, and is now enjoying the prosperity and peace to which it conducts. But another picture presents itself for our contemplation. There is a man whose condition is directly the reverse. He is shunned and despised by all around him. Not because he is poor; but because his poverty has been caused by profligacy and vice. The good avoid him as a moving pestilence — the virtuous point to him as a warning to their children of the sad effects of iniquity — and even his vicious com- panions are ashamed of him. Follow him in his miserable career. He mingles with the refuse, the outcasts of society ; for they alone will be- come his associates — he becomes familiar with the alms-house, the penitentiary, and finally ends his days in ignominy upon the gallows ! Is it not important to inquire into the cause of the dispa- rity between the condition of this man, and of the other, whom we noticed ? How did he become involved in so much infamy and wretchedness ? Was it his own choice !■ — did he desire and seek degradation and ruin ? No. In the outset of life, his desires were as those of the youth who is now perusing these lines. He wished to enjoy him- 8 INTRODTJCTION. self through hfe, precisely as you do. He in- tended to take the best measures to accomplish this desire, as is now undoubtedly your determi- nation — and he no more foresaw or expected that he should end his days in infamy, the object of scorn and disgust, than are such thoughts now dwelling in your mind. But, alas ! he selected the wrong path ! He deemed himself very wise— ^he knew much better than others in more advanced life, where ^nd how he could obtain true enjoy- ment — he desired no light or instruction upon this subject — he turned an ear deaf as the adder's, to all the counsel, the advice and admonition of pa- rents, relatives, friends — and with headstrong and willing blindness, strided on in that way which eventually involved him in the vortex of disgrace and ruin ! Do you desire your condition to be- come like his? No — no — say one and all ! And yet it amounts almost to a certainty, that such, or similar, will be your condition, if you imitate his example in the commencement of life. But that example, I trust, you have no desire to follow; but rather are more wisely inclined to obtain all the information in your power, on those subjects connected intimately with your welfare and hap- piness. Hearken, then, to one who, though compara- tively not far advanced in years, yet may be con- sidered past the most dangerous period of youth — one who has mixed not a little with the world — INTRODUCTION. 9 tasted of its sweets and its bitter — been a learner in the school of experience, and as usual, paid dearly for some of the knowledge which he has thus obtained — and who, not having yet, by rea- son of age, lost the vivid impressions thus en- stamped upon his mind, is enabled more readily to appreciate the peculiarities of your situation, and to realize to a good degree, the nature of the dangers around you. I would speak to you as a brother — I would warn, advise, and counsel, as oiie deeply interested in your welfare and pros- perity. I have no wish to deprive you of a single enjoyment, that is proper for you, as intellectual and moral beings — and surely as wise youth, you can desire to participate in none other. I shall make no eiforts to frighten you into compliance with the advice imparted ; but shall appeal exclu- sively to your reason, your good sense, to con- vince you of the propriety of doing that which will enhance your respectability and true happi- ness, and of avoiding those things which will in- volve you in disgrace and wretchedness — that, if possible, I may benefit those whom I address. In carrying my design into execution, I shall first address both sexes indiscriminately, upon those subjects in which it may be supposed they are mutually interested. In the next place, my remarks will be confined exclusively to those to- pics which pertain to young men. And lastly, the young ladies will be addressed. CHAPTER I. THE NECESSITY OF REFLECTION. By reflection, I would signify, the habit of se- riously and often meditating upon the various topics connected with youir prosperity and enjoy- ments. On arriving at years of understanding, you perceive that the race to which you belong, exists in company with countless grades of other beings. And you also discover that man is ele- vated far above, and is, indeed, ruler over all other forms of earthly existence. The cause of this exaltation, it can not fail to be perceived, arises from the superior faculties with which you are endowed — the intellectual and moral capacities which compose the mind. These mental powers make man all that he is — the sage, the philoso- pher, the mathematician, the astronomer — capa- ble of penetrating deep into the operations of Na- ture's laws — capable of converting the elements to his purposes, and of ascending high the infinite scale of attainable knowledge. Take from the human race these powers, and the bright chain THE NECESSITY OF REFLECTION. 11 which links them to a higher world, to a more lofty grade of beings, is severed, and they sink to the level of the brutes — differing from them only in form and feature. For what purpose are these ennobling faculties bestowed upon you ? — to re- main idle and dormant ? Surely not. Nature never imparts any power but for use. To animals is granted instinct for their guidance and control ; and the dictates of this instinct, which is ever in active operation, they invariably follow while life endures. But to man has been given the higher power of reason, for a similar purpose — to direct and govern him in his intercourse with his fellow- beings. These mental faculties in man, should no more be idle, than is instinct in brutes. And a neglect in the one case, would be as deleterious to the enjoyments of its possessor, as in the other. The habit of exercising the mind in reflection upon the future, as well as the past and present, is one of the most valuable that can be established. And yet it is one, in regard to which, the young are extremely liable to fail. The present — the present — with its amusements and its gayeties, absorbs the greater proportion of their thoughts. And when they occasionally glance at the future, it is too often, but to dress it in the bright attire of the imagination — in the blooming garlands of lifers sweetest pleasures. I would not unneces- sarily overshadow present enjoyments, by the gloomy clouds of future anticipated evils. But 1^ THE NECESSITY OF REFLiECtlON the young should bear in mind the truth of the stanza— <'The beam of the morning, the bud of the Spring, The promise of beauty and brightness may bring ; But clouds gather darkness, and, touched by the frost, The pride of the plant and the morning are lost. Thus the bright and the beautiful ever decay, Life's morn and life's flowers — O, they quick pass away I" It is important that youth should remember these things, because they are true ; and because a know- ledge of them may inspire the mind with a sense of the importance of frequently casting your thoughts into the future, to select your course of life, rather than to rush blindfolded along. When the ship approaches a dangerous coast, a " look out" is stationed, to warn of the approach to reef or breaker. So the young, in navigating the dan- gerous voyage of life, should establish reflection as the "look out," to give timely notice of those fatal shoals of imprudence and vice, upon which so many, originally possessing the brightest pros- pects, have been wrecked. There are many advantages accruing from a well established habit of reflection. It will ena- ble you to form those just conceptions of your nature and constitution, and of the laws by which they are governed, that will make you wise in re- gard to the true sources of your happiness. It will show the vast distinction between those en- joyments that are proper to you, as intellectual beings, and those belonging more expressly to your animal nature. Reflection will convince you THE NECESSITY OF REFLECTION. 13 that your higher faculties are bestowed upon you, to become sources of more pure, elevated and lasting enjoyments, than can possibly be expe- rienced from the passions. It will teach you that the individuals who forget or overlook these evi- dent truths, and who depend for all their happi- ness, upon the indulgence of evil propensities, not only disgrace themselves, and the race to which they belong, but are deprived of all the advan- tages of the higher powers bestowed upon them, and might as well have been created the brute, as for any important benefit which they obtain from these valuable sources. It will convince you that those in this condition, are in a bondage, deep, disgraceful and miserable — a bondage to be feared more deeply than prisons, chains and fetters. It will satisfy you that "man was created for purpo- ses high and noble — such as angels engage in, and in comparison with which, all other objects sink into insignificance, and all other enjoyments are contemptible as ashes." Reflection is an important safe-guard in select- ing associates, forming habits, choosing occupa- tions, and, indeed, in all that concerns youth. — The young man or the young woman who thinks deeply, will act wisely. They will be aware of the nature of the dangers which hover around their path, and therefore, will act cautiously and safely. They will be enabled to penetrate those specious appearances in which vice so frequently 14 THE NECESSITY OF REFjLECTION; presents itself — they will look beneath the gaudy veil which so often covers the deformities of sin, and behold the native blackness of the monster. They will be aware that " all is not gold that glit- ters," and will readily detect the gilded imitation, when it would occupy the place of the pure metal. They will weigh well the influences and the effects of every important step, and not be led astray by the deceitful devices of the transgressor. How few, who are now advanced in years, would not act materially different were they to pass over the track of life again ! Experience has taught them wisdom. In looking back upon their his- tory, they can clearly perceive where they have been mistaken, where they have failed, where they have acted foolishly. And could they again pass through life, this dearly bought wisdom would enable them to amend where they before had gone counter to their true welfare. How many, when it is too late, unavailingly regret, that in early years, they had not been more reflective and cau- tious. The young are now, where the aged would desire to be, to do better than they have done. But as this can not be, they willingly impart their wisdom and experience to youth, to enable them to avoid those evils which they experienced. Those who have failed, readily instruct you where they missed their way ; and all wise youth will listen and reflect deeply on their suggestions. Solo- mon says — "A wise man will hear, and will in- tHE NECESSITY OF REFLECTION. l5 crease learning ; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels." There is no indica- tion more promising in youth, than a desire to hear counsel in regard to their future conduct. And when such listen to words of instruction, they will treasure them up as food for future medi- tation. Permit me to impress upon the mind of every youth who reads these lines, the importance of seeking for wise counsel, and of bestowing much thought and reflection upon all those subjects connected with your prosperity. Meditate not only on those affairs which are transacting around you, but upon the prospects of the future which open to your view. Reflect upon the sources of human happiness and human wo — ascertain the real causes of peace and satisfaction on the one hand, and of degradation and wretchedness on the other. Examine with thoughtful care, the his- tory of your race, and the history of those of your acquaintance who are advanced in years. — Ascertain and remember what has caused one in- dividual to be respected and loved, while another is shunned and despised. And where you per- ceive that others have failed, do you remedy ; for let it always be remembered, that the same causes which led others to infamy and ruin, will involve you in the same disastrous circumstances, if you place yourselves within their influence. Medi- tate seriously upon the dangers which surround 16 THE NECESSITY OF REFLECTION. the path of the young. Were you pursuing a solitary road, around which you had reason to apprehend lurked the deadly assassin, how cau- tiously would you proceed — with what vigilance and watchfulness would you examine every object you approached. But remember, there are legions of foes hovering around the pathway of life, ready to assail you at every opportunity — they are the hu- man vices. They will beset you at every turn, and fasten upon you with all their accompanying woes, unless warded off by a firm and determined opposition. But let cautious reflection be your handmaid, and you will be enabled, in a good de- gree, to withstand the temptations which surround you, and to walk in that wise path wherein lies every pure earthly enjoyment. CHAPTER II. CLAIMS ON YOUTH. The young should be fully aware that there are claims upon them, of the most important and en. during nature. It is, therefore, highly necessary, that they should become acquainted with the cha- racter of these claims, that they may quahfy them- selves to discharge their demands in an efficient manner. 1. Society has claims on ike Young,— In every civilized and well regulated community, there are certain important duties, of a public and general character, which must be properly discharged, to msure the safety and welfare of its members.— Those who now execute these trusts will soon be- come old and pass from the stage of life. They can not always remain, to instruct by their wisdom and guide by their counsels; but as time's un- ceasing wheels roll on, they recede from our view and no more mingle with us. - 1 look forward a few short years, and see the aspect of society en- tirely changed. The venerable fathers who have borne the heat and burden of the day, are drop- pmg, one after another, into the grave, and soon they will all be gone. Of those, too, who are now 18 CLAIMS ON YOUTH. the acting members of society, some have passed the meridian of life, others are passing it, and all will soon be going down its decline, to mingle with the generations who have disappeared before them from this transient scene of action. To a mind seriously contemplating this mournful fact, it is an inquiry of deep interest — who are to rise up and fill their places ? To whom are to be com- mitted the invaluable interests of society ? Who are to sustain its responsibi'lities and discharge its duties ? You anticipate the answer."* It is upon the young that these duties and responsibilities will devolve. You will soon be called to occupy all the various stations now held by those more advanced in life. You will become parents, and guardians, and directors, in all that pertains to the welfare of society. Soon will it depend upon you to determine, whether religion, morality and virtue shall prevail and shed their benign influences upon community, or whether infidelity, immorality and deep corruption, shall blight all that is valuable in our midst. Soon will it be your prerogative to declare, whether institutions of learning shall be fostered and multiplied, sending their light into the dark abodes of ignorance and raising man to that elevation in knowledge for which his facul- ties so eminently fit him, or whether the darkness and ignorance of ancient times, with all their fol- * Hawes' Lectures. CLAIMS ON YOtJTH. 19 lies, their superstitions and wretchedness, shall return and shut out the beams of science and art, and plunge this happy land into degradation and ruin. Soon will it be with you to decide, whether wholesome restraints, good order, harmony and peace, shall prevail and continue to impart their blessings, or whether all shall be unbridled profli- gacy and wild anarchy. Soon will it be in your power to perpetuate and hand down to succeeding generations, those wonderful improvements in the arts and sciences, and all that pertains to our pros- perity which have so eminently characterized the present age, and which are sending their blessings to earth's far ends, or whether the spirit of im- provement shall be arrested in its valuable career, all anticipations of future exaltation and perfec- tion be cut off, and the mind, with all its high capabilities, made to stagnate in stupid indolence ! In fine, all those interests which render life a bless- sing, will ere long come into the keeping and con- trol, and be at the disposal of those who are noAv young. Do you not, then, perceive that society has claims, deep, abiding, important claims upon you ? And how will you answer them ? Surely I can receive but one reply to this inquiry, from all youth of reflection and forethought. You un- doubtedly discover the propriety, yea, the urgent necessity of preparing to discharge these claims with honor to yourselves and advantage to your Sd CLAIMS ON YOUTH. fellow -beings. It becomes you, therefore, to study diligently the character of our government and the genius of our institutions — to meditate upon the peculiar nature of the privileges and blessings which we, as a people, enjoy — to reflect upon the nature of the true interests of society, and of the most efficient modes of forwarding them- As a spur to these duties, you have but to reflect upon the immense sacrifice of treasure and of life, by which our numerous high advantages were ob- tained. The blood of our fathers cries to us from the stained battle-fields of old, to cherish " as the gipple of the eye," those exalted privileges, which it was shed to obtain. To this voice you will not turn a deaf ear. Permit not selfishness to chill your energies in this work of preparation. Let it be remembered that you are bound by a thou- sand ties, to your fellow-beings — your interests and enjoyments are indissolubly interwoven with theirs — and, therefore, in discharging public du- ties, and advancing public prosperity, you are but securing your own welfare and happiness. " He who does no- good, gets none. He who cares not for others, will soon find that others will not care for him." He who neglects public interests, has no just right to expect that the public will cherish his ; and the tendency of such neglect, is to pro- duce this result. 2. The world has claims upon the youth of this land. — Here, under the blessings of Heaven, our CliAlMS ON YOUTH. §1 fathers were enabled to establish a government upon the broad principles of civil and religious freedom. Here man enjoys all those rights to which, as an intellectual, religious and social be- ing, he is entitled by nature and immutable equity. Kere we are blessed with every privilege and with every means of comfort and happiness that can be expected in this imperfect state of existence. Here we enjoy liberty of speech, liberty of the press, liberty on all matters connected with religion, liberty in every respect, as far as accountable be- ings can possess it. But let it be remembered that here onlyy are these privileges enjoyed. In every other section of the globe, mankind are deprived, to a greater or less extent, of these blessings of freedom.— Except in this land, justice, equality and liberty, in their true acceptation, are unknown on earth ; and man's dearest rights are trampled beneath the iron hoof of tyranny ! Among the greater pro- portion of mankind, all that elevates human na- ture, and causes it to put forth its high powers and capabilities, is wanting. Now if the nations of the earth are ever to become emancipated, it must be accomplished by the spirit which goes forth from this people — by the exmnple which the inhabitants of these United States, set before the world. Let the flame of liberty which has been kindled in this land, continue to burn in its pris- tine splendor, and in due time, its pure and holy 22 CLAIMS ON YOUTH. light will penetrate and dispel the darkness of other hemispheres. It will flash from land to land, from shore to shore, from the rivers even unto the ends of the earth — until man, every where, shall enjoy all those rights which his Creator has made him capable of exercising. But if the principles of freedom here established, become neglected — if the love for its blessings be swallowed up by selfishness, ignorance or corruption — the sacred flame will be quenched in darkness, the hopes of millions will expire,, and earth again become a universal Aceldama ! And upon whom depends the preservation and perpetuity of our free institutions ? Upon the youngs does this high responsibility rest! Our fathers obtained the invaluable boon of liberty, by their suflerings and perseverance ; and it devolves upon the generation now coming upon the stage of action, to determine the question, whether their toils and blood shall prove unavailing, or whether the fruits of their labor shall descend to posterity. Upon the young of the present age, depends to a great degree, the solution of the important pro- blem, whether man is capable of governing him- self — capable of enjoying liberty, without licen- tiousness and anarchy — or whether he can only be restrained by tyranny and oppression. This great experiment is now in progress ; and the eyes of the philahthropist and the patriot — the eyes of the enslaved and the oppressed, throughout the CLAIMS ON YOUTH. 23 world — are turned towards this land, and fixed, intensely fixed upon the young especially ! With deep anxiety do they watch for every indication which shall develope the nature of the principles which are cherished, and which will, ere long, be brought into a testing activity, by the youth of this Union. The world, thus, has claims — important claims — upon the young of this nation — claims recognized by philanthropy and humanity. The voice of en- slaved millions, comes up on every breeze, be- seeching the young, who are soon to become the pillars of our republic, to cherish and feed that flame of freedom, whose light they behold at a far distance, until they shall be enabled to bask in its grateful beams. Will you not listen to these cries ? — will you not recognize these claims, and be admonished of the importance of the position which you occupy ? " Never, since the creation, were the youth of any age or country, so imperi- ously called upon to exert themselves, as those of this country. Never, before, were there so many important interests at stake. Never were such immense results depending upon a generation of men, as upon that which is now approaching the stage of action. The rising millions of this land, are destined, according to all human probability, to form by far the greatest nation that ever con- stituted an entire community of freemen, since the world began. To form the character of these 24 CLAIMS ON TOUTEf. millions, involves a greater amount of responsi- bility, individual and collective, than any other work to which humanity has ever been called, NoM^, it is for you, my young friends, to deter- mine whether these weighty responsibilities shall be fulfilled. It is for you to decide, whether this greatest of free nations, shall at the same time be the best.^^^ How important that the young should qualify themselves for the discharge of the high responsibilities thus resting upon them ! How im- portant that they should study the nature of en- lightened hberty, and of the most eifectual means of perpetuating our valuable institutions, with all their increasing blessings, down to posterity !f * Young Man's Guide. t Let not the ladies imagine the remarks under this and the preceding heads, inapplicable to themselves. I deem them highly appropriate to their consideration.— Although it would be improper for them to become poli- ticians, in the general acceptation of that word — yet that they can exert a powerful and enduring influence, either for good or evil, upon the institutions of our country, is an undoubted truth. They can most sensibly affect the characters of brothers, husbands and especially sons. — They can influence them to public virtue and useful- ness — to an interest in the welfare of the nation and the rights of mankind — or stupify them into negligence and inattention. In what work more worthy and important^ can a mother engage, than instilling into the mind of a son, a love for the public good, and for the principles of civil and religious liberty ! Let females, therefore, be interested in these topics, as subjects with which their happiness is intimately blended. Every woman should become familiar with the principles of our system of government, and with those peculiar characteristics which render it preferable to all other forms. CLAIMS ON YOUTH. SS 3. Your Maker has claims upon yow.— These claims are paramount to all others. He has given you life, sensation, and all the high endowments and capabilities which you possess. He has great- ly elevated you in the vast scale of being, and given you dominion over all other forms of earthly existence. He has bestowed upon you numerous advantages in political and religious respects — permitting you to exist under the sway of just and equitable laws, which insure you " liberty and the pursuit of happiness," and enable you to worship God as your conscience dictates. In the land where your lot has been cast, every thing that can conduce to human improvement, elevation and happiness, is profusely scattered round. These blessings have come from the goodness of your Creator. Unsolicited and unmerited on your part, has he thus lavished the highest of earthly favors upon you ; and you are honestly indebted to him for them. The Deity, therefore, has lasting claims upon you, to discharge this debt, as far as your capabilities and opportunities will allow. In re- turn for his gifts, he claims of you a due cultiva- tion and exercise of your intellectual and moral faculties. He bestowed them upon you, not to He dormant, but for activity and improvement; and that activity and improvement he claims. He has claims upon your gratitude, your veneration and love, for his continued kindness and his ten- der mercies. He has, also, claims upon your 26 CLAIMS ON YOUTH. obedience. His laws are instituted and exercised ovei- the children of men, not for their injury, but for their benefit — to lead them into paths of peace and happiness ; and he has therefore every just right to demand the obedience of mankind. — These claims of the Creator, exist properly against you. They grow out of the nature of the bene- fits conferred upon you. And such is the cha- racter and undoubted value of the favors granted, that he is justified in urging and enforcing these claims, if we do not fulfil them voluntarily. And what renders these claims still more worthy your consideration, and portrays the goodness of God in characters surpassingly lovely, is, that in com- plying with them, you are only doing that which improves your character, enlarges your mind, and ministers greatly to your true enjoyments. Let your minds become impressed with the im- portance of the claims which I have thus briefly brought to your notice. Reflect upon their cha- racter, the grounds upon which they rest, and the influence which their fulfilment will exercise upon your own happiness, and the welfare of your fel- low-beings. And let the spirit arise within you, to meet their demands with that energy and fidelity which is the best guaranty of success. CHAPTER in. FORMATION OF CHARACTER. That a good character is to be prized above all Other earthly considerations, is a position which few will controvert. To a young man, it is the foundation- — and the only sure one — upon which he can rationally base any expectation of future j*espectability and prosperity. Youth should not believe they can arise to eminence in any call- ing or profession — in any situation or condition in life-^without possessing a good character. Who- ever cherishes such anticipation, is most certainly doomed to bitter disappointment. As reasonably can they expect to " gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles." The young man who is studiously intent on establishing a good character, may be considered rich, although destitute of property. He is rich in the esteem of community — rich in the confi- dence and trust reposed in him, by all to whom he^ is known — rich in possessing the good wishes, and in receiving the kind offices of those around him — rich in the assistance cheerfully granted him in the hour of misfortune, the most readily by those whp best know his worth. But without a good §8 FORMATION OF CHARACf^Rv character, and without a desire to obtain one, a young man is in reality, poor, though possessing the wealth of the Indies. He is poor in every consideration wherein the other is rich. Poor in the respect, trust and confidence of others — poor in every thing that can render life happy or desi- rable, to an intellectual being. The conscious- ness which he carries about with him, that he is despised by the virtuous and respectable, is a sting that will embitter his days. In meditating plans for his future prosperity, the young man should consider a good character, as the first important acquisition to be secured. If he makes a mistake here — if he views charac- ter as an indifferent consideration — a matter of no consequence, worthy of no thought or exertion — his condition is extremely precarious. He has turned his face toward the downward path of dis- honor and wretchedness — he has already taken one long step therein — and unless he speedily changes his course, and rectifies this primary error, his career will be one of disappointment and ruin. Reflect, for one moment. Suppose a young man is known to be a spendthrift— known to be ignorant, indolent, dishonest, intemperate and vicious — what are his prospects ? Who will repose confidence in him, or trust him, or en- courage him, or stand by him in the hour of mis- fortune, or aid him in times of trial? On the other hand, let it be known that a youth is well FORMATION OF CHARACTER. 29 infonned, industrious, economical, strictly temper- ate and moral, and the whole community ai*e his friends — all are ready to employ him, and assist him to rise to circumstances of competency.-— Between these two conditions, every wise young man will rightly choose the latter in preference to that of the former ; and must, therefore, perceive the immense importance of a good character, and the great necessity of striving to obtain it. Fair reader, need I speak of the vast importance of a good character to the young lady ? Need I say, it is her all — that with it, she is every thing, and without it, nothing — yea, worse than nothing ? These propositions are so plain, that, it would seem, all young ladies must be aware of their pro- priety ! If not, one moment's reflection must satisfy them of their truth. Let it be known that a young lady is idle and uninformed — that she is fond of gossiping and " spinning street yarn," rather than of engaging in some laudable means of industry — that she is better acquainted with the heroes and heroines of silly novels, than the rules of housewifery and domestic economy — that her virtue, honesty and veracity are suspected — and who does not perceive that, with such a name, her prospects of forming an eligible connexion, and of prospering in life, are entirely destroyed ? But one whose character is the reverse of this — who is intelligent, prudent, industrious and virtuous, has every advantage of which the other is deprived. 30 FORMATION OF CHARACTER* The necessity, therefore, of a good character^ both to young ladies and gentlemen, must be per- fectly obvious. And how is such a character to be obtained ? Can you inherit it, as you do your name ? Can you purchase it with gold, or obtain possession of it by theft ? No — no. A good cha- racter must he, formed — it must be made — it must be huilt up, by your own individual exertions ! If you are negligent or indifferent in regard to this subject — if you leave the character to form itself, as chance may direct — " if, instead of exerting reflection for this valuable purpose, you deliver yourselves up at so critical a time, to sloth and pleasure — if you refuse to listen to any counsellor but humor, or attend to any pursuit except that of amusement — if you allow yourselves to float loose and careless on the tide of life, ready to re- ceive any direction which the current of fashion, or of licentiousness, may chance to give you — what can you expect to follow from such begin- nings ? While so many around you are under- going the sad consequences of a like indiscretion, for what reason shall not those consequences ex- tend to you? Can you attain success without that preparation, and escape dangers without that precaution, which are required of others ? Will prosperity and happiness grow up to you of its own accord, and solicit your acceptance, when to the rest of mankind, it is the fruit of long culti- vation, and the acquisition of labor and care ? FORMATION OF CHARACTER. 31 Deceive not yourselves with such hopes."* I re- peat, the character must be made — it must be a work — and a work, too, of meditation and fore- thought. ^ The characteristics by which you desire to be distinguished through hfe, should be selected by your own well exercised judgment, and establish- ed by your industry and perseverance. Ask your- selves what character you would like to possess before the world ? — whether you would be re- spected or despised, by the good and virtuous ? — and act in accordance to your decision. And re- member, all the excellence of character you ob- tain, must be the fruit of your own labor — the re- sult of your own exertions. Friends may cheer and encourage you, but they can not do this work for you. They can not be industrious, or virtu- ous, or well informed, or honest, in your place. These characteristics, if you possess them at all, you must obtain by the diligent exercise of your own faculties and advantages. To arrive at excellence of character, it is well to adopt models for imitation. Think of some individuals, the excellencies of whose characters you would be pleased to possess. And let not these standards be low ones. They should be high — they had far better be too high, than too low. It is an old proverb, that although he who * Blair. 32 FORMATION OF CHARACTER. aims at the sun, will not reach it, yet his arrow will fly much higher, than if aimed at an object on a level with himself. So in the formation of character. Let your models be exalted ones ; and although you may possibly fail of reaching their elevation, yet, undoubtedly you will ascend much higher, than had you selected some inferior pat- terns. Let your models be frequently before your mind — imitate the conduct and disposition which characterized those you would copy after — mark the course which they took to obtain their good names, and do thou likewise. I can not better close this subject, than in thB words of the lamented Wirt. " Take it for grant- ed that there is no excellence without great labor. No mere aspirations for eminence, however ardent, will do the business. Wishing and sighing, and imagining and dreaming of greatness, will never make you great or respectable. If you would get to the mountain's top on which the temple of fame stands, it will not do to stand still, looking, and admiring, and wishing you were there. You must gird up your loins, and go to work with all the indomitable energy of Hannibal scaling the Alps. We can not all be Franklins, it is true ; but by imitating his mental habits and unwearied industry, we may reach an eminence we should never otherwise obtain. Nor would he have been the Franklin he was, if he had permitted himself to be discouraged by the reflectron that we can FORMATION OF CHARACTER. 33 act all be Newtons ! It is our business to make the most of our own talents and opportunities ; and instead of discouraging ourselves by compari- sons and impossibilities, to believe all things ima- ginable, possible ; as, indeed, almost all things are, to a spirit bravely and firmly resolved," CHAPTER, IV. THE GOOD OPINION OF OTHERS. There is no emotion more natural, and none more proper, than the desire to be thought well of, by others around us. This wish, cherished by the young, with proper restrictions, and brought con- sistently to bear on the conduct, will become as a kind of guard to screen them from many improprie- ties and their accompanying evils. Those young people, who are inspired with the laudable desire so to demean themselves as to obtain the approba- tion and respect of community, may be considered as walking in a safer path, than those who have no such inclination. It will cause them to become circumspect and watchful in all their conduct — to be careful what they do, and what they say, and what disposition they exhibit in their intercourse with the world ; and will induce them to listen se- riously to any faults that may be suggested as at- tached to their conduct. Wise youth are willing to have their failings pointed out. And when a- fault is asserted to pertain to them, whether it is detected by a friend or an enemy, they will search, and candidly ask themselves whether it does in reality exist ; and if they perceive that it does, t THE GOOD OPIjSION OF OTHERS. 35 they will take energetic measures to free them- selves from its contaminations. I have often ex- pressed the opinion, that if enemies are of no other benefit, they are sometimes of great service in de- tecting and exposing our aberrations from duty. Their Avatchful eyes are upon us — they are ever upon the alert to blazon our short-comings to the world. And a sense of their scrutiny will influ- ence us to assume a cautiousness in our proceed- ings, which can not but be highly salutary. A proper desire to be commended by our fel- low-beings, should be cherished by every youth. A want of it produces consequences extremely deleterious. When young ladies or young gen- tlemen, arrive at such a state, as to exclaim, in re- ference to their moral conduct, '■'' I care not what others think — / care not for the opinions of those around me" — it indicates a dangerous state. It shows their feehngs to be so hardened, that they are ripe for the works of sin and degradation — it predicts a condition of moral callousness, which, unless removed speedily, will lead to pollution and its unavoidable wretchedness, ^'^ I donH care^''' is a bad expression for the young of either sex. It is not only immodest ^nd reprehensible in itself, but, if indulged in, and followed in its influences, it will ere long, involve you in those disastrous circumstances, where you will care — and that too, when it perhaps is too late to avoid the painful consequences of your blindness, 36 THE GOOD OPINION OF OTHERS. In so conducting as to gain the good opinion of Others, you should exercise proper discrimination as to whose commendation you would merit. You should not endeavor to obtain in your conduct, the applause of the drunkard ; because to do so, you must uphold and imitate his intemperance — or of the gambler, the thief, the spendthrift, or the idler — for they will not approbate you, unless you follow them in their transgressions. Neither should it be your effort to secure the approbation of the proud, the vain, or the scornful. But the good opinion, in all moral respects, of the wise, virtuous and benevolent, it should be your ambi- tion to secure. This, however, should not be the moving cause of living a virtuous life. The main influence to such a life, should be of a higher cha- racter, even the value of virtue itself, and the bene- ficial effects which its faithful practice will confer upon you. But in shaping your conduct, let it be characterized by those principles, that will be approved by the discreet, the upright and expe- rienced of society. Let not this subject be misunderstood. It is one thing, so to conduct as to acquire the respect of the public— but another and quite different thing, to shape your proceedings /or the sole pur- pose of obtaining public favor or popularity. — While the former is to be approbated, the latter should be decidedly avoided. I know of no indi- viduals whos^ conduct and example are more to THE GOOD OPINION OF OTHERS. 37 fee despised and avoided, than confirmed seekers after popularity — those people who form their opinions and give support to religious or political sentiments and measures, with no other objects in view, but to gain the applause of the multitude, and the smiles of the wealthy and fashionable. Individuals of this character, can not properly be said to ipossess principles, or to be guided by them,. Their only rule and motive of action is policy — their only study the highest effort of their mental powers is, to shape their course, as to float, like the empty bubble or the worthless weed, on the surface of the flowing. tide of popularity. Nei- ther is there any dependence to be placed upon them. Having no love of truth and principle to insure their stability, to-day they are with this, party or sect, to-morrow with that — now they are warm advocates of these sentiments or measures, and, anon, as zealously the friends of those di- rectly the reverse — as they are swayed about by the contradictory winds of fluctuating interest, or public favor ! People of this description are to be pitied for their weakness and folly, and their vas- cillating example is to be avoided by all who would be truly respected^ — by all who would vindicate the position, that there is such a thing as principle among men, and that the human mind can be go- verned by it.* "" The class to which I refer, is mainly composed of those whose minds are so weak, that they are not capa- OQ THE GOOD OFIISTIOJV OF OTHERS. Their example^ I repeat, should be shunned, as derogatory to human nature, and detrimental to the best interests of society. In forming your opinions, on any subject, let reason and conscience be your guides. In this respect you should not be swayed by the good or bad opinions, which others will thus be led to entertain of you ; but solely by your reason. If a proposition or a sen- timent, on a careful and candid examination, ap- pears consistent and reasonable, adopt and sup- port it, whether it is believed by many or few. If,, on the contrary, it appears unreasonable, reject it,, even though adopted by the whole world beside.. This is the only safe rule which you, as reasona- ble beings, can adopt — it is the only manly, honor- able and consistent course you can follow. But in allowing interest, numbers, or popularity, to have an influence informing or biassing your opin- ions, you throw down all the safe guard with which your Maker has graciously provided you, and are liable to become the dupe of every error that wears a gilded dress. Permit me to repeat, that your moral conduct should be of such character as to gain for you the ble of forming a definite opinion upon any subject of im- portance— those who are so bound up in self, as to be indifferent what principles prevail, so that their ends are accomplished — and those who are better pleased to have error and vice spread through community, than truth and virtue, provided their interests are as equally enhanc? ed by the former as the latter. THfi GOOB OPINION OF OTHERS. 39 good opinion of the virtuous and upright. But in forming opinions, and in supporting measures, assert the high prerogative of your nature, and judge for yourselves, without respect to others. Be certain that you act from honest and conscien- tious motives — that your only object is to obtain truth — and trust the result to a righteous Provi- dence. Whether those around you approve or reject, you w^ill possess that which they can never give or take away — " The soul's calm sunsfaine, and the Jbeaa-tfelt joy." CHAPTER V. ON READING. That is a most extraordinary art, reader, by which I am now communicating my thoughts to you, although perhaps a thousand miles intervene between us, with as much ease and accuracy, as though you were in my immediate presence. — This operation, to one who is a stranger to the method of its performance, would appear the work of supernatural agents. A late writer, in descri- bing the inhabitants of one of the remote islands of the Pacific Ocean, states that they had no con- ception of the arts of writing or reading. When informed that one person can communicate his thoughts to another, without voice, or gesture, or without being in his presence, they utterly dis- credited the assertion. But after repeated experi- ments, becoming fully satisfied of its truth, yet veiwing it as a work transcending all human power, they alleged that it must have been accomplished by necromancy. The art of communicating ideas by inscribing visible characters, is of very ancient date. In its first stage, it consisted merely in drawing a rough ON READING. 41 sketch or outline of the object, in regard to which the communication was made. From this state the art was advanced to the use of more systemi- zed hieroglyphics ; and from these, gradually im- proved to our present system of writing . Previous to the invention of the art of printing, books were multiplied only by the pen — a work s6 laborious and slow, as to cause them to be few in number, and of immense value. So scarce were books, that ambassadors were once expressly sent from France to Rome, to obtain a copy of Cicero's Ora- tions, and Quintilian's Institutes. The library of the Bishop of Winchester, in 1494, contained but parts of seventeen books.; and on his borrowing a copy of the Scriptures from the neighboring con- vent of St. Swithin, he had to give a heavy bond, drawn up with great solemnity, that he would re- turn it uninjured. If any one gave a book to a convent or monastery, it was supposed to confer everlasting salvation upon him. Previous to the year 1300, the library of Oxford University con- sisted only of a few tracts, which were carefully locked in a small chest, or else chained, lest they should be carried away. There are two prominent objects in reading, viz : — amusement, and the acquisition of valuable knowledge. These, if possible, should be com- bined into one. No volume should be perused for amusement, which does not instruct as well as delight. And all publications of an instructive 42 ON READING. character, will amuse and please the mind, when read with a proper thirst for its lessons of wis- dom. It should be the desire of every youth, of both sexes, to acquire a hahit, or taste for reading. This habit will soon become one of the highest sources of enjoyment. But it must be acquired young. If it is not established before the age of twenty-five or thirty, the probability is, that it will not be at all ; and the individual in this condition, will be cut oif from one of the most valuable sour- ces of knowledge and improvement. You should read, not only for the pleasure which it affords you, but to obtaiii practical information, and to enlarge and eiilighten your views on those sub- jects intimately connected with your welfare, and the interests of your race. You should read to " multiply your ideas, correct your errors, erase your prejudices, purify your principles, and that you may settle .down on the everlasting founda- tion of truth, in all things." A well established habit of reading, bestows benefits innumerable. The young lady or gen- tleman p.QSsessing this habit, gives fair promise of future respectability and usefulness. There is little reason to apprehend that they will become profligate or vicious. Examine the victims of crime — the inmates of prisons — and, as a general Ifule, it will be discovered, that in youth they were averse to reading. In perusing useful publica- tions, the youthful mind is elevated above the in-' ON READING. 43 fluence of vicious passions, and is absolved from their contaminations. Through the medium of books, you can live, as it were, in all past ages. You can enter the presence of th« wise and the great of antiquity-— you can listen to their lessons of instruction — trea- sure up the fruits of their research and experience, and thus make them your immediate instructors. In books you have at your disposal the history of your race. You can range over its ample extent — beholding here, the corroding influence of wealth without just principles — there, the fruits of blind rashness — and every where, the unavoidable evils flowing from ignorance and sin, and the superior advantages of knowledge and virtue. As the bee extracts honey from objects nauseous and poison- ous; so can the industrious reader obtain lessons of useful wisdom, from the errors and imperfec- tions of those who figure on the historic page. The reader, while sitting by his own fireside, becomes a traveller in foreign lands. He partici- pates in much of the enjoyment of the tourist, without experiencing any of his difficulties and dangers. He thus obtains an acquaintance with the condition, manners and customs of distant na- tions ; and his mind becomes enlarged by contem- plating the wide diversities of laws, of morals, of religions and literature. He is also enabled to compare the numerous privileges and advantages, which he enjoys in this happy land, with tliQse 44 ON READING. possessed by other nations — and be led the more sensibly to appreciate the immense value of our system of government, and the importance of stri- ving to purify and perpetuate it. Reading fills up many leisure hours, which would probably be otherwise less profitably occu- pied. When the labor or business of the day is closed, the mind relaxes and seeks for amusement. These are dangerous hours to the young. Then temptations put on their most fascinating garbs ; and unless guarded against by some counter power — some repelling force — will lead to every species of evil. These critical seasons test the character, and reveal the prospects of the young. Those youth who have established the habit of reading, in these times of leisure, turn as natu- rally and readily to their books for amusement, as do the profligate, to scenes of infamy and vice. And thus reading not only saves from forming sin- ful habits, but becomes the means of laying up stores of useful information, to be turned to pro- fitable account in after years. The young, in this way, can deposite treasures in a " Savings Bank," that will yield a compound interest to their owner. In what manner can youth of either sex, pass an evening more usefully, than in perusing some en- tertaining and valuable publication, for their own edification and that of the family circle ? The habit of reading can become so deeply settled, as to form the controlling desire of the mind. So ON READING. 45 firmly was this habit estabUshed in Brutus, that on the eve of the battle of PharsaUa, which it was foreseen would decide the fate of the Roman do- minions, he was found calmly reading in his tent, and with his pen taking notes from his author. And Petrarch, the great poet, if he did not read and write during the day, was very unhappy. The manner of reading, is an important con- sideration. It is generally supposed that those who read the greatest number of books, must possess the most knowledge. But this does not necessarily follow. An individual may peruse whole libraries, and be but little wiser for his la- bor. It is no difficult task to run hastily through a publication, neither is it a jprojitable one. The amount of knowledge obtained from books, does not so much depend on the number perused, as the manner in which they are read. To accom- plish the object of reading, it is evidently neces- sary that you should obtain the scope of the ideas of the author you are perusing. You should be- come familiar with the manner and peculiarities of his expression. It is also obvious, that to ob- tain benefit from reading, it should be performed slowly and with deliberation. Never permit your- selves to read without reflection. No knowledge can be obtained in this manner. It is like endea- voring to gather water with a seive, or in the quaint language of a certain author, "it is like laboriously stooping to pick up chips, only to let 46 ON READING. them fall again." It is much better to read but a few pages at a time, and understand them, than hastily to glide through a book without treasur- ing up any useful knowledge. Thinking should always accompany reading. The latter without the former, amounts to nothing. And yet there is no habit more liable to grow upon the young reader, than while the eye is skimming over the page, to allow the mind to be wandering away, absorbed in some thought wholly disconnected with the subject before them. This habit is an unfortunate one. It weakens the intellect, dis- tracts the mind, and fills it with confusion and anarchy — and it should, therefore, be strongly guarded against. The attention and thoughts, should be brought under the strict command of the will. If they fly off in pursuit of some wild vagary, they should be instantly called back, and all their powers concentrated on the page which you are perusing. Then you hold communion with the author, and are benefited. But without this attention, the book may as well be closed. If, in reading a sentence or paragraph, you fail to obtain the meaning of the author, repeat it, and if necessary, again and again— leave it not until you fully comprehend the idea he would convey. In this manner you will often find a treasure, where at first glance you could discover nothing of importance. If your author furnishes a new thought, cease reading for a moment, and ON READING. 4'5' poader upon it — turn it frequently in your mind — observe its bearing and tendencies, and its appli- cability to subjects in which you are interested. Thus you will often enter upon a train, which wiU lead to new fields of interesting and useful reflection. As you can not expect to retain in your memory the entire contents of a book, im- press upon your minds the most prominent and valuable portion of its instructions. And to this end, after having finished its perusal, reflect upon its whole contents, and ascertain what new and peculiar views you have obtained. It is a useful practice of many readers, to note in a blank book or memorandum, such sentences or ideas as are deemed of sufficient importance ; and they are thus saved for future application. This method I would recommend to such as have time or op- portunity to pursue it. A valuable blank book, called the " Index Re- rum," for the purpose of forming an index to the subjects of which you read ; and in which you may note the volume and page of any work in which any particular subject is treated, for future refer- ence ; will be found particularly valuable, to the student, the professional man, or, indeed to any who may have occasion often to refer to what they have perused. Its author, or rather its in- ventor, is the Rev. John Todd, now of Philadel- phia, the author of " The Student's Manual," another excellent work for the same classes — ex- 48 ON READING. cepting a very few remarks rather sectarian in their bias. Another consideration of the utmost weight, relates to the selection of books. The importance of this subject, can not be too strongly impressed upon the minds of the young. The sentiments conveyed in publications read by youth, must ex- ercise a sensible influence over them, for good or evil. Books of an immoral and licentious tendency, should be avoided as the poisonous Upas. No youth can read them without inflicting a leprous stain upon their minds, which will tend decidedly to evil. Consider those companions your ene- mies, who recommend such works to your notice. Turn a deaf ear to their advice, and strictly avoid their example. In noticing the character of works proper for your perusal, I can not refrain from directing your attention, first of all, to that " Book of books," the Bible. Sir William Jones, one of the most learned men of his day, wrote on the blank leaf of his Bible, the following sentence — "I have carefully and regularly perused these holy Scrip- tures, and am of opinion that the volume, inde- pendent of its divine origin, contains more sub- limity, purer morality, more important history, and finer strains of eloquence, than can be col- lected from all other books, in whatever language they may have been written." Let this invalua- ble volume be often and faithfully perused — let ON READING. 49 its contents, especially its moral and doctrinal teachings be deeply impressed upon your minds, as the only perfect guide that can lead to a faith- ful discharge of duty towards your Father in hea- ven, and your fellow-beings. Well written books and other publications, relating to the doctrinal and moral truths of the Scriptures, should also engage a due proportion of your attention, as calculated to purify your hearts and enlighten your minds. Paley's Natural Theology, and his Horse Pauliuce, and works of a similar character, tending to strengthen the convictions of the truth of Christianity, should be read by every youth. Here, perhaps, I ought to remark, that all stan- dard works, pertaining to or connected with your destined pursuits in life, should engage the next place in your studies. As these will vary accord- ing to those pursuits, and as you can never be at a loss for more able and experienced advisers than I can be, I dismiss this consideration with the re- mark, that you should, by no means, confine your- selves to these works alone ; but give them your chief and best hours, seeking relaxation fronn their perusal in such other works as I now sh?ill name. History is a very important branch of general study. Mavor's Universal History, is a large and expensive work — but an excellent compendium. Bigland's Letters on History, is as brief as the other is voluminous. The amount of leisure, and 4 50 ON READINCf^ pecuniary means you possess, (if remote from a public library,) must determine for you, which of these, or of the following works you will peruse. They, all, are well worth perusal, and are re- commended to your notice. History of the Jews, by Flavius Josephus, Rollin's Ancient His- tory, Gillie's Greece, Frost's History of Greece^ Ferguson's Roman Republic, The Annals of Tacitus, Gibbon's Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, bearing in mind that he is a cold sneerer at Christianity, even while pretending to advocate it in the form held by the church of England ; Hume's England, continued by Smollet ; Robert- son's Histories, particularly of Charles the Fifth, and of the Discovery and Settlement of America, Irving's Conquest of Grenada, Mackintosh's Eng- land, Russell's Modern Europe, Baines' History of the Wars of the French Revolution, Ameri- can edition on account of the notes, Ramsay's History of the American Revolution, and Mo- sheim's Ecclesiastical History. In biographical works you will also find much historical informa- tion, blended with a display of human character. I would therefore recommend you to read, in con- nexion, with the foregoing, the lives of any great men who figure prominently in them — particu- larly Voltaire's Life of Charles XH, of Sweden, a fine specimen of a good style ; Marshall's Life of Washington, Spark's Lives of Franklin, Led- yard, and his Washington papers ; Irving's Co- ON READING. 51 iumbus, and his Voyages and Discoveries of the Companions of Columbus, Southey's Nelson, Wirt's Life of Patrick Henry, and Lives of the Signers of the Declaration of Independence.— Others might be named, but the advice of the wise and virtuous, and the references made in these works, will unite in guiding you to all else that can be necessary to your instruction in this important branch of reading. Such works as Buffon's Natural History, Gold- smith's Animated Nature, Good's Book of Na- ture, Arnott's Physics, Wood's Mosaic Creation, Treatises on Botany and Chemistry, and publica- tions on Experimental Philosophy, can be read with much profit and amusement. The Art of Being Happy, from the French of Droz, with notes by Timothy Flint, is a work full of valua- ble instruction to the young. Combe on the Constitution of Man is one of the most valuable publications that has issued from the press in many years. I would earnestly recommend its perusal to all whose eye meets these lines — it will richly repay you. Of poetry, there are comparatively but few en- tire works that can be safely recommended to the. young. Pope has many beauties, inteniiingled with much that is decidedly of an immoral ten- dency ; and the same may be said of Burns, By- ron and Moore. But there can be no hesitancy in recommending Milton, Cowper, Young — ^ma- 52 ON READING. kiQg due allowance for their religious peculiari- ties — Scott, Wordsworth, Southey, Coleridge, Gajoipbell, Beattie, Thomson, Bryant, Mrs. He- mans, and Mrs. Sigourney. In relation to the propriety or impropriety of perusing novels and other works of fiction, much ha^s been said on either side. There can be no doubt that our book-stores and libraries are flood- ed with works of this character, that are extremely i^^ipid, and of a tendency highly deleterious. — That works of fiction of a proper character, can be safely and beneficially read by the young, I have no hesitancy in declaring. But you must be cautious in your selections. None should be read but those of a purely moral tendency, and s^uch as are illustrative of historical truths. Of the former, I would mention particularly those of JVtrs. Opie, Miss Edgeworth, and Miss Martineau. Of the latter may be enumerated the Misses Por- ter's, the most of Scott's, a few of Bulwer's — especially his Rienzi^— several by Cooper, Miss ^edgewick, and Mr. Simms. Many of Irving's lighter works are of an entertaining character, and may be profitably read — particularly his late pro- ductions, A Tour on the Priaries, and Astoria. In readmg works of fiction, keep your mind constantly fixed on the delineations of character — m^rk the shades of diiference between them, the different operations of external circumstances on them, and the different motives that actuate ON READING. 53 them — and apply all to the purposes of self-ex- amination and self-improvement. When the work is historical, read it in connexion with that portion of history to which it refers, and with that portion of geography which describes its location, and carefully note what is fictitious, and what is real. If I mistake not. Chambers' Memoir of the Prince, Chevalier Charles Stuart, will make yoii doubly interested, even in Scott's interesting Sdot- ish novels relating to that individual— and ^6 6f others. Fear of protracting this chapter beyond the bounds of your patience, prevented me from naming many other works worthy of your peru- sal^ with comments on their merits, and directions for more fully availing yourselves of their int^rem and benefits. But what is here offered will mf- fice, probably, to direct you, until experience suf- ficient will be attained to render further direction from me of doubtful necessity. CHAPTER VI. PRACTICAL OBSERVATION. Practical observation, or the habit of obsei*ving men and things, is of great value. There is scarcely an event that transpires around you, from which you may not, by critical observation, de- rive lessons of wisdom — there is not an object upon which your eyes can rest, when properly studied, that will not increase your information. But all those sources of knowledge are sealed up, without you take proper measures to open them. Unless you observe and reflect, wisdom may instruct, and knowledge lift up her voice, " but hearing you hear not, and seeing you do not perceive." Without the habit of practical observation, you m^y lister^ to the most profound instructions of wisdom, without being wiser, an(| examine all the curiosities of nature and art, without gaining any useful information. " Keep your eyes open," is an old and profitable max- im — not the eyes of your body only, but the eyes of your intellect also. And let your ears not only hear, but hear understandingly — with a dis- crimination that will enable you to appreciate and treasure up all that is instructive, and cast away whatever is demoralizing or useless, JPRACtlCAL OBSERVATION. 55 In this respect, there is a vast difference among mankind. While one individual mingles with the world, and by thoughtful observation, in- €reases his useful knowledge every hour — ano- ther mixes in the same scenes, listens to the same language, sees the same transactions and the same objects, without treasuring up one valuable thought. The former sees and hears to obtain information ; the latter only to gratify an idle cu- riosity. While one person, in straying over the fields., beholds in every tree, in every flower and blade of grass, indications of the wisdom and goodness of God, and thus is led to reflect upon the characteristics of Deity ; another views the same objects, and only thinks that the tree affords a shade from the sun, and of the flowers a fra- grant nosegay maiy be formed. While one gazes upon the sky, and observes that it is decked with *' pretty spangles"^ — another contemplates the hea- vens with mingling emotions of awe, astonish- ment and delight. He there discovers the hand of Jehovah — he there reads lessons of the ma- jesty, power, and wisdom of the great " I AM." Filled with wonder, he inquires — « * * * * * * * What hand behind the scene, What arm almighty, put these wheeling globes In motion, and wound up the vast machine ? Who rounded in his palm, those spacious orbs ? Wlio bowled them flaming thro' the dark profound, Numerous as glitt'ring gems of morning dew, Or sparks from populous cities in a blaze, Aijd set the bosom of old Night ou fire ?" 56 I-RACTIGAlr OttSERVAflOJr. The habit of practical observation, while en- gaged in your ordinary occupations, becomes not only a stream of knowledge, but also a safe guard to screen you from evil conduct. Do you ob^ serve in an individual, a mean, unmanly action 1 Reflect upon it. Observe how it degrades him—' how contemptible it causes him to appear in the eyes of the generous, the just, the benevolent, and how unsatisfying must be his own reifectionsV Do you behold one at the bar of justice, called upon to answer to the laws of his country, for his crimes ? Meditate upon the unhappy effects of sin— the degradation and wretchedness it entails upon his victims — and become satisfied of the solemn truth of the Scripture declaration, that *' though hand join in hand, the wicked shall not go unpunished." Do you perceive neighbors, from some simple misunderstanding, that could at first have been amicably explained, engage in an unhappy contention, in which all the unholy passions are brought into action, to the mutual injury of the parties, and which involves the com- munity in turmoil and themselves in wretched- ness ? Observation will satisfy you of the blind- ness and folly of such conduct — of the necessity of exercising a forgiving spirit, and of submitting to injuries rather than to engage in hostilities, that can at best but entail disquietude upon you. Thus, by a constant habit of observation and reflection, you can turn even the failings, the fRACtiCAL OBSERVATION. 57 blindness, the misfortunes of others, to your own account — you can be benefited not only by the ktiowledge of the wise, but also by the folly of the simple. When you perceive people in cir- cumstances of difficulty, you can trace their ill fortune back to its origin, and by perceiving the cause of their failure, you are prepared to avoid pursuing a similar course. Even the most trivial actions, when properly considered, will sometimes afford valuable lessons of instruction. " Old fashioned economists will tell you never to pass an old nail, or an old horse-shoe, or buckle, or even a pin, without taking it up, because although you may not want it now, you will find a use for it some time or other. I say the same to you with regard to observation. Mark every thing you perceive — let your observations and reflec- tions take in every object within your reach. For there is not a fact in the whole circle of human observation, nor even a fugitive anecdote that you read in a newspaper, or hear in conversation, that will not afford some useful reflection." From every individual with whom you converse, how- ever unlearned and ignorant, something new and valuable can be obtained, by proper observation. Sir Walter Scott was one of those men, who draw information from every thing within their observation. One of the means by which he ob- tained his celebrity as a writer, was his habit of obtaining useful hints from sources to which 58 PRACTICAL 0:tfSERVATION. Others would never think of looking. It is said that he was once desirous to obtain a certain ob- solete word that had escaped his memory. For a long time it baffled his researches ; but at length in passing two men in the street, engaged in angry contention, he heard the desired word dropped, amid oaths and imprecations — and he immedi- ately stopped and noted it down. This is practi- cal observation. You should, like the above named individual, endeavor to learn something every where. Your thoughts should be at your command, to meditate upon every new object and idea that may be capable of imparting valuable information. There is not any thing in the world that is not worth noticing. How many are igno- rant, and remain so, because although they see and hear, yet they do not observe. The information obtained by observation, is often more valuable than that procured in any other manner. We frequently discover indi- viduals unskilled in letters, with little acquaint- ance with books, who possess a large fund of useful knowledge, and are well informed on a great variety of topics connected with human welfare — while as frequently, scholars from our institutions of learning, are lamentably ignorant of the most valuable interests of society. How is this difference to be accounted for ? In this wise. The former are men of practical observa- tion — they have studied tjie book of human na- PRACTICAL OBSERVATION. $9 tuie — they have become acquainted with " men and things," by actual contact. But the latter have obtained their knowledge solely from books — hence the}^ are wise in theory, but ignorant in practice — wise in regard to the past, but ignorant of the present. Could each obtain the acquire- ments of the other, they would then, by possess- ing the advantages of both theory and practice, be enabled in a superior degree, to pass through life with usefulness to themselves and to their fellow-beings. To possess these combined ad- vantages should be the effort of every youth. 1 trust my readers will not suppose I would en- courage an idle curiosity, or an inqusitive inter- meddling with other people's affairs. In obtain- in POLITENESS. Profane or irreverent language is improper and wicked in any place ; but when uttered in com- pany is very impolite. It exhibits a low, gross^ and uncultivated mind. Every young man — I need not say, every young lady — who would be considered polite and well bred, will avoid such language as highly derogatory to genteel man- ners. Refrain from low and vulgar anecdotes,, and indelicate allusio-ns or inuendoes. Nothing should be uttered in company, that violates the simple rules' of modesty. Every thing of this nature is both improper and impolite. Do not speak loud and long in company. This is a fault that young people are liable to commit. In the exuberance of their spirits, the voice is often raised to a high key, and some favorite topic is extended to an immoderate length, to the ex- clusion of all other conversation. This habit should be strictly guarded against. Those who indulge in it are liable to utter many things ridi- culous and absurd, and to lay themselves open to the just censure of the wise and prudent. Loud laughter is also impolite ; and is considered by many, as an indication of an empty mind. I would by no means banish sociability and plea- santry from the social circle. But there should be a proper medium obseiTed. The good sense of youth, should teach them not to surpass, in these respects, certain bounds prescribed by pro priety. POLITENESS^ 73 In a mixed company, avoid, if possible, all con- tentions and disputes — especially on exciting to- pics. If carried to any extent, they lead to the exhibition of improper feelings; and generally cause the disputants, and the whole company, to become unhappy. There may be cases where this rule should be departed from ; but such in- stances are exceedingly rare. As a general prac- tice, the rule should be strictly adhered to. Do not permit yourselves, in company, to speak disrespectfully of one who is absent, if you can consistently avoid it. This practice is not only impolite, but it is ungenerous and unjust. If it becomes necessary to express opinions derogatory to the character of the absent, speak in guarded language, and with all the palliations that charity and forgiveness can suggest. Avoid any exhibitions of anger or petulence. They are impolite and immodest — especially so in females. They throw you off your guard — cause you to utter expressions extremely impro- per, and often ridiculous — and place you in cir- cumstances very unpleasant. A guard should be placed upon the temper. Nothing is more to be avoided than the outbreakings of rage. Under their influence evils are often committed, for which a whole after life of propriety can hardly atone. Be cautious not to interrupt others when speak- ing. This plainly indicates a want of good breed- 74 tOLlTENESSk ^BffllWBB ing ; and yet it is a very common practice with many. However anxious you may be to uttef your views, remain silent until those who are speaking have concluded. Respect to them, and a desire to avoid confusion, as well as the rules of proprietyj dictate a strict adherence to this precaution. Do not bluntly deny the truth of the opinions expressed by those with whom you are convers- ing — and more especially if they are aged, or if their opportunities for obtaining information have been superior to yours. If you differ from them^ express your views in modest and respectful lan- guage, and with due deference to their mature experience. You should rather suggest the pro- priety of a different opinion, than pertinaciously assert it. Never indulge in ridiculing others in company. It is fi Yiilgar apd upgenerous practice, and indi-^ cates a narrow, uncultivated mind. All have their weaknesses and imperfections — even those who possess the most shining talents, have their blem-« ishes. "But what an absurd thing it is, to pass over all the valuable characteristics of individuals, and fix our attention on their infirmities — to ob- serve their imperfections more than their virtues — and to make use of them for the sport of others, rather than for our own improvement."* " The * Addison, POLITENESS. 75 littlest feeling of all, is the delight in contempla- ting the littleness of other people." Persons addicted to ridicule, are not usually distinguished for their own wisdom or good sense. Like critics who cut up a good publication, without being able to produce one themselves worth reading, so those most given to the ridicule of others, are gene- rally themselves deficient in many of the valuable characteristics of human nature. " If the talent of ridicule were employed to laugh men out of vice and folly, it might be of some use to the world ; but, instead of this, we find that it is ge- nerally made use of, to laugh men out of virtue and good sense, by attacking every thing that is Solemn and serious, decent and praiseworthy in human life."* If young people must indulge in ridicule, I pray you, act upon the reverse of this observation of the great English scholar. Let your talent of ridicule be exercised only against immoral and vicious practices — against pride, folly, and every species of extravagance cind sin. Avoid ridiculing others, on account of their appearance or their plainness of dress. Some are naturally more awkward in their demeanor than others, and any ridicule on that account, will be at the expense of your good sense, in the eyes of the discriminating. All tastes do not agree in regard to dress. You claim the liberty of array- * Addison. 76 l»0MTfiNfi9S. __— ing yotifselves in siich Habiliilients and style as your fancy dictates. You should be \villing to grant the same privilege to others ; and should no more imagine that you have the right of ridi- culing them for not following your taste, than they have of ridiculing you for not imitating theirs. And by all means, avoid ridiculing those who from poverty, are unable to appear in attire as costly or fashionable, as that of community in general. This is a cruel, ungenerous, unmanly practice. It is not only impolite, but is blackly inhuman. It displays a selfish spirit, a shallow' mind, and a heart devoid of the gentler suscepti- bilities of our nature. No individual — male or female — can justly lay the least claim to polite- ness or generosity, who exhibits a feeling so mean and brutal. Instead of basely indulging in the ridicule of the poor, you should be inclined to drop the tear of pity over their misfortunes, to commiserate their condition, to soothe them and reconcile them to their situations, and, if possi- ble, to do something, or say something, that will shed a few rays of enjoyment into their hearts ^ Individuals possessing true politeness, will exhibit towards people in low circumstances as to pro- perty, none but emotions of a j^ind, humane and generous character. And they Avill not judge of their worth by their poverty. But looking beyond the outward circumstances, to the qualities of the heart, they will honor and commend integrity, POLITENESS. 77 virtue and purity, as readily when clothed in worn and humble garments, as when arrayed in " pur- ple and fine linen." We will now briefly examine the affirmative of this subject, and notice a few characteristics that pertain to politeness. I have once remarked that true politeness, is an exhibition, through outward signs and tokens, of kind and friendly emotions towards those in your presence. Or in other words, politeness is a desire to make those around you happy. A disposition to be pleasant and agreeable, therefore, is one of the first requisites of politeness. It is impossible for those who are morose and ill tempered, to be polite. They may assume the outward form, the shadow, but the spirit of true politeness will be wanting. If from misfortune, disappointment, or vexatious difficul- ties, or illness, your feelings are in an unhappy or irritable state, you had far better refrain from mingling in company, while such is your condi- tion, than to make others wretched by a display of your ill feelings. Strive, therefore, while you are in company, to be good humored, cheerful and kindly disposed. With these feelings in full activity, you can not well avoid being polite. And it is encouraging to know that with every effort to entertain and exhibit these emotions, they will in- crease in stability and extent, until they become a second nature, and habitually pervade your minds. 78 POLITENESS. Gratitude is another ingredient of politeness. What can appear more dishonorable or selfish, than an insensibility to proffered kindness ? — what more ill bred or impolite ? The uncultivated boor, will, under the dictation of nature, return thanks for favors. And it surely becomes those who would improve their manners, not to be un- mindful of this subject. Every attention which you receive from others, is an indication of the kindness which they cherish towards you. In this light should they be received and properly acknowledged. As Washington was once walking with a dis- tinguished gentleman, they met a negro, who, in passing, saluted them. The General gracefully returned the salutation. His companion ex- pressed much surprise, that he should return the bow of a black man. " Sir," said Washington, '* should I permit this poor negro to exceed me in politeness ?" This was an instance of genuine politeness. While the impolite man would have passed stiffly and haughtily by, wiihout conde- scending to notice the African's indication of re- spect, the noble minded personage, who then occupied the highest station on earth, acknow- ledged, by a suitable return, his sense of the ne- gro's attention. To be grateful for all, even the smallest favors granted you, the smallest indica- tions of respect, and to express your gratitude by some word, or in some intelligible manner, is im- POLITENESS. 79 periously demanded by politeness. While it is gratifying to have acts of kindness noticed and appreciated, it is exceedingly painful to have them coldly received, with no indications of thankful- ness. In entertaining a mixed company, much de- pends upon the host or hostess. It should be your great object in such a situation, to make all your company, if possible, feel pleasant and agreeable. You should not, therefore, confine your attentions or conversation to one, or any select number ; but they should be equally di- rected to all. And in your conversation, you should discriminate between the different degrees of information, and the- different occupations of your guests. Each individual should be address- ed on subjects in regard to which they are con- sidered the best informed ; and your conversation with them should be so directed as to relieve them from embarrassment, and bring out their peculiar excellencies and acquirements. From these im- partial attentions, all feel that they are duly ap- preciated, all are gratified, and all enjoy them- selves. You should, in one sense, forget yourself, to make those in your presence agreeable. And yet all these attentions should be executed in so delicate and artless a manner, as scarcely to al- low them to perceive that your object is to make them appear well, and to minister to their enjoy- ment. 80 POLITENESS. Always attend to those who address you, and give due heed to their remarks. Inattention in this respect, is exceedingly rude, and indicates a lack of good breeding. Do not frequently change your posture by rising up or sitting down, or walking about, Avhile another is speaking to you. It will be construed into a neglect of their worth, or a desire to avoid their conversation. Whis- pering, and holding private discourse in company, is very improper and impolite. Kespect to the aged, is another trait of polite- ness. It is extremely indecorous to make those advanced in years, the subject of ridicule, de- rision or laughter. Gray hairs should ever be treated with deference and respect. The aged have long borne the burdens of life— they have administered to the welfare of society, and to the prosperity and enjoyment of those who are now young. It becomes your duty, as the palsy of age creeps upon them, incapacitating them for active duties and for labors, to honor and reve- rence them— to cherish and support them, and render " the downhill of life," as agreeable and pleasant as possible. No sight is more delightful, than to behold the young assidiously engaged in respectful attentions to the aged— while there is no greater lack of politeness, no plainer indica- tion of an unfeeling heart, than to treat the aged with neglect, disrespect or harshness. 1 POLITENESS. 81 Before closing this subject, I can not refrain from again directing your attention to the real nature of politeness. People, generally, are too ready to judge of its existence by exterior appear- ance and manners. When persons enter a room with ease, make a graceful bow, and are very for- mal and ceremonious, they are called polite. But although a due attention to formalities, is proper, yet they do not constitute all of politeness — they are, indeed, as has once been said, but its shadow, and may be, and often are, assumed where no genuine politeness exists. True politeness, I repeat, consists in entertaining kind and friendly feelings towards others, and in exhibiting those emotions in your manners. Therefore, to be po- lite, in the just acceptation of that word, you must cultivate the generous feelings of the heart — you must see that this fountain of human emo- tions is purified, and that nothing there exists but good will towards all your fellow-beings. With the affections in this state, politeness, almost with- out effort, will shine in your intercourse with the world. There will be no cold affectation, no heart- less hypocrisy ; but with a moderate degree of outward cultivation, the manners will be graceful and polite. CHAPTEH IX. LETTER-WRITING. Although this subject may be viewed by some, as of little importance, yet it should by no means be overlooked by the young. There are few- youth of either sex, who will not find it necessary to correspond with relatives and friends, and often with strangers. And few there are, who do not desire to have their letters appear well in the sight of those to whom they are addressed. The first requisite in letter-writing, is care in the penmanship. It should be your effort to have your writing plain and distinct. It is true, the penmanship of all can not possess the same elegance and finish ; but all can and should ex- ert themselves to have their letters as legible and neat as possible — free from blots, and with as little interlining as may be. You should also endea- vor to punctuate your composition properly and distinctly. It is no small labor to peruse a letter without stop or point of any kind. In such cases, LETTER-WRITING. 83 it is difficult to obtain the meaning of the writer, and ludicrous, and sometimes fatal mistakes, are in this manner occasioned. The necessity of both spelling and punctuating correctly, is exemplified in the old and familiar anecdote, of the note hand- ed to the minister, in some town on the sea-board. It read as follows : " A man going to see his wife, desires the prayers of the congregation." When read as thus written, it w^as perfectly ridiculous. But by changing the word see to sea, and remov- ing the comma from after the word wife to the word sea, the meaning of the writer is expressed as follows : " A man going to sea, his wife desires the prayers of the congregation." Great caution should be exercised in regard to the contents of letters. Let it be remembered that letters are often preserved a great length of time, and frequently come into hands of whom the writers little thought, while penning them. Injudicious letters are liable, through accident or other causes, to stray into the possession of those who will Avield them greatly to your disadvantage. Many individuals would give half their wealth, to recall letters hastily written, or to blot out sen- tences incautiously inserted. "We ought not to write anything of which we may hereafter feel ashamed. Well written letters are as often burnt or destroyed, as slovenly or indiscreet epistles are, by accident or design, preserved, to rise up in 84 LETTER-WRITING. judgment agahist us hereafter."* An instance in point lately occurred. At the decease of the celebrated Aaron Burr, among his papers were found letters received in former years, which, had they been made public, would have ruined the characters of many indviduals moving in the highest circles. Exercise your judgment upon this subject. Write nothing to the most intimate friend that would cause you to blush or feel de- graded, were it read by strangers. I desire not that you should circumscribe the free and frank expression of thought, but would rather com- mend it. Write to your correspondents as you would converse with them, had you the opportu- nity — but as you would converse with them in the presc7ice of others. If possible avoid writing disparagingly of the character of any. Inadvertencies in this respect, are the frequent causes of difficulty and conten- tion. Sentences of this nature often find their way to ears for which they were least designed. If it becomes necessary to state your opinion of the character of any individual, communicate your sentiments in a frank, yet kind manner — write nothing as truth, that you do not know to be true — avoid deleterious insinuations — in fine, write as you would, were you addressing the per- son in reference to whose character you are ma- king your statements. Young Ladies' Own Book. LETTER-WRITING. 85 Avoid in your letters, all expressions of anger — all profane or vulgar language — all indelicate words and allusions. Write with the same re- strictions under which you would speak were the person present whom you address — bearing in mind, that when your letters are perused by strangers, they will form an estimate of your cha- racter and manners, from the nature and style of their contents. In your correspondence, you should keep in view your own station and circumstances, and the rank and condition of the individual whom you address. In writing to relatives and intimate friends, you should express yourself in a differ- ent manner than when addressing a stranger. In the former case, you should be warm, aifection- ate and familiar — in the latter, more reserved, yet respectful, candid and concise. Regularity in correspondence, should be ob- served. Many are very negligent in this respect — putting off writing from day to day and week to week. This is an unnecessary habit, arising solely from sheer indolence, and often causing much disappointment and inquietude. Write promptly, at the proper time, without any unnecessary de- lay. Youth who are absent from home should be punctual in this respect. As children leave the abode of their infancy, the sun-light of their parents' joys waxes dim and more dim — as stars, the cherished objects of love vanish one by one 86 liETTER-WRITING. from, the family galaxy, leaving darkness and gloom behind. While, in mixing with the busy multitude, and engaging in the exciting avocations and amusements of active life, the hours pass lightly over your heads, you should remember that to your parents, in consequence of your ab- sence, time drags with leaden step ; and that no- thing so cheers their aged hearts, as letters from the absent and loved ones. The young, therefore, should often think of their home, of their vene- rable parents, and the peculiarities of their situa- tion. Often should you despatch letters laden with love and filial affection, and kind expressions of regard, to light up the evening of their days, with smiles of joy. Oh ! how highly are those written messengers prized by the father and the mother ! Anxiously do they await them, and eagerly do they devour their contents. They are as angel's visits, diffusing consolation and peace. The melancholy caused by separation, is felt much more sensibly by those who remain at home, than by those who go out into the world. Be cautious in giving letters of recommenda- tion, that the individual whom you would benefit, actually possesses the qualifications you enume- rate. If you deceive in this respect, it will in- jure your integrity, and detract from your influ- ence. Give no such letters, except in cases where you feel perfectly assured of the worth of those who bear your testimonials. LETTER-WRITING. 87 Never be guilty of circulating anonymous let- ters, or of assuming false signatures.* These are low, base practices, utterly beneath the lady or gentleman. They should be heartily reprobated and despised. If you desire to give advice or to warn of danger, or to make any communication to an individual, do it under your own proper sig- nature, with all frankness and candor. If you can not proceed in this open, manly manner, re- frain entirely from all interference. The motives of anonymous writers are ever suspected — they are almost invariably detected and exposed, and do not fail to meet that public execration and dis- gust which they too frequently richly merit. * The reader will understand that I do not allude to fictitious signatures in writing for the public prints, where they are often properly assumed. But even in this respect they are sometimes resorted to for the basest purposes. As a general rule, it is better in writing for the public, to use at least the initials of your name. CHAPTER X, RELIGIOUS OPINIONS. That man is by nature, a religious being, is a truth so evident, and so universally acknowledged, that it has passed into an axiom. A religious pro- pensity or a desire to worship is one of the con- stituent principles of the human mind. Wherever a human being is found, throughout the globe, this religious principle is perceived, leading him to seek out and adore some object, power or be- ing, whom he believes exercises a control over his enjoyments and his destiny. If he can not perceive properties calling for worship in one ob- ject, he will in another — if he is ignorant of, or disbelieves in the existence of one supreme, in- telligent Being, he will worship three or a thou- sand — or will reverence a beast, a reptile, a block, or unintelligent matter. This religious propen- sity, like the other powers of mind, must be cul- tivated and enlightened, ere it can impart all the benefit of which it is capable — and when so en- lightened, it becomes the source of the purest happiness within the reach of man on earth. But when it is uncultivated and swayed by igno- RELIGIOUS OPINIONS. 89 ranee, doubt or superstition, it leads to the belief of the wildest vagaries of the imagination and to much mental pain. An enlightened and consistent religious belief, should be viewed by youth as one of the first and most important of human acquisitions. It forms a stable and secure basis, upon which all the pro- per enjoyments of life can be safely founded. All other sources of earthly happiness, depend upon many contingencies, and are liable to fluctuation and decay. But a reasonable and scriptural system of religion, when once firmly settled in the mind, is subject to no variation from time or events. It is a pure stream of running water, whose fountain is far removed, alike from the scorching heat of Summer and the icy chains of Winter. Pros- perity can not dry it up, neither can adversity freeze it. In seasons of success, it heightens every comfort, and it turns the edge of the keen- est afiiictions. It is a friend that never forsakes ; but stands by the firmer, when its assistance is most needed. I am aware that youth, generally, are inclined to view the subject of religion in an unfavorable light. But I attribute this disinclination to the manner and form in which the topic has been presented to them, rather than to any innate aversion. They have been led — or, rather mis- led — to look upon religion as something gloomy, melancholy, fearful — -as something calculated to 90 RELIGIOUS OPljyiONS. deprive them of the amusements and enjoyments proper to their age — something that makes hfe sad, tasteless and wearisome. But I would say to the youth whose eye is resting on these lines, that such views of religion are radically and wholly erroneous. Words of purer truth were never uttered, than those contained in the poet's stanza : — " Religion never was designed To make our pleasures less." It never was designed by its Author to take from you one enjoyment, proper to you as a rational and moral being, or to deprive you of a single emotion of true pleasure— it never was intended to make you melancholy or in any way unhappy. But the object and influences of the pure reli- gion of the Gospel, are directly the reverse. So far from depriving you of enjoyment, the religion of the Redeemer would make you happy. And to this end it is designed, to point out to you, the true pleasures from i\\Q false — the sources of real gratification, in distinction to those that are de- ceitful and unsatisfying. It would enable you to distinguish between the pure gold, and those ob- jects which are but gilded — -between the substance and the shadow. True religion would induce you to avoid those practices, sometimes falsely termed pleasure, which lead to degradation, wretchedness and ruin, and which always leave the sting of death ; and in their place, would impart those en- RELIGIOUS OPINIONS. 91 joymects which are pure and permanent, and which increase in value as age advances. True religion is not designed to overshadow the path- way of life with the dark clouds of despondency, but to cheer the track of existence with the bright sunshine of peace and contentment — a sunshine that will beam upon you with its most vivid bright- ness, in those moments when you would other- wise be surrounded by darkness and despair. Do you not perceive, my young friends, the great importance of endeavoring to cultivate your religious faculties ? Would you avoid un- happiness and degradation ? would you enjoy pleasure, comfort, peace ? Obtain correct views of religion, and you will assuredly escape the former and secure the latter, to as great an ex- tent as imperfect mortals can expect in this state of existence. I have said correct views of reli- gion, because erroneous religious sentiments, can not produce these beneficial results. Indeed error in religion, is one of the most fruitful sources of wretchedness. There are false sentiments some- times conveyed under the garb of Christianity, which fill the mind of the believer with pain and anguish inexpressible — and the more firmly they are believed, the more dreadful are the consequen- ces. But these sentiments, remember, pertain not to the religion of Jesus Christ. They are errors engrafted upon the lovely system of the Gospel, in those long centuries of darkness and 92 RELIGIOUS OPINIONS. ignorance, which soon succeeded the apostolic age. With proper scrutiny these errors can readily be detected. There is such an incongruity, such a want of harmony, and such a perfect con- tradiction between them and all the prominent and benevolent characteristics of the Gospel, that the clear and unprejudiced mind, can at once dis- tinguish between their teachings and their origin. While the teachings of one, are every thing kind, merciful, and benevolent, the other promulgates all that is dark, and horrid, and cruel — -while one originated from infinite Wisdom on high, the other is the unholy fruit of the disordered imaginations of men ! In forming your religious opinions, it is neces- sary that great caution be exercised, or you may imbibe error instead of truth. I. will mention a few rules that will assist you in your researches on this important aubjcct. Let reason be the guiding star in all your inves- tigations. God has formed you reasoning beings ; and he could have had no object in imparting this high faculty, but that you should exercise it on all subjects within your cognizance. To disregard the dictates of this reason is derogatory to your character, extremely dangerous to your peace, and an abuse of the most valuable earthly gift of your Creator. You should perceive the truth of these remarks, and permit them to sink deep into your minds, before you commence settling your reli- RELIGIOUS OPINIONS. 93 gious views. With reason, unswayed by passion or prejudice, for your guide, you can hardly err in religion; but deprived of its directing light, all is darkness and uncertainty, and without fail, you will grope your way into that error which ge- nerates misery. I am aware that it has been fashionable with certain sectarists, to decry the exercise of rea- son upon the subject of religion. But you should distrust all such exhortations. They are never resorted to except to support error and delusion — they are never brought forward but as a last re- sort to chain mankind to doctrines and creeds that are passing away before the increasing light of Gospel truth. Reflect. Suppose you were to comply with such instructions, and adopt the rule not to consult your reasoning faculties in regard to the subject of religion. Do you not perceive the degradation of such a condition ? Do you not discover that you would be liable to adopt as truth, every absurdity, every wild vagary of the human imagination, however incongruous or mon- strous ? Your wisdom will dictate the propriety of avoiding a course so dishonorable to your high endowments. You will make it an invariable rule never to adopt a sentiment within your com- prehension, that is not in perfect accordance with reason. I would here caution you that there is an ob- vious and important distinction between a princi- 94 RELIGIOUS OPIJSIONS. pie that is unreasonable, and one that is ah&ve reason, or beyond the reach of your reasoning faculties. That the flowers of the field and the trees of the forest, grew from the earth in a gra- dual progression, is reasonable — to maintain on the contrary, that they sprung forth at once, in full growth, and proportion, would be unreasona- ble — but to account for the whole process by which this phenomenon is produced — to under- stand the art by which nature paints the rose and the lily, in colors so beautiful and dazzling as far to surpass all man's imitative art — is beyond rea- son ! Let these distinctions be kept in view, and applied in your religious investigations. That it must have required a Being possessing infinite in- telligence, and omnipotent power, to create all those countless worlds and systems scattered through immensity of space, and originate those laws by which their motions are guided with so much precision — is a reasonable proposition. — No sane mind can throw off this conviction. But whence that mighty Being came, the mode of his existence, and the manner of exercising his powers, are subjects entirely above our reason — beyond the utmost stretch of our limited capaci- ties. Were these subjects audibly explained to us by an angel from on high, we could not com- prehend them with our present feeble powers. But because our weak faculties can not grasp these topics, shall we revert to the other extreme, RELIGIOUS OPINIONS. 95 and declare that no God exists ? Consistent, well-balanced minds do not reflect in this man- ner. The one would be to the same degree un- reasonable, that the other is above reason. It is your prerogative and your duty, to follow and adopt the conclusions of reason, as far as your faculties can ascend. But there is a limit which will bound its upward progress, and here your researches must cease — it is in vain to endeavor to penetrate beyond this bound — your every effort will be baffled. But because you can not exceed this limit of the human intellect, should you doubt or disbelieve that which is reasonable, within your comprehension ? The scholar who should contend that because he can not solve Euclid's problems, therefore he has reason to doubt that tioo added to three, makes five, would be consid- ered extremely ignorant ! Does it not display equal inconsistency, to disbelieve one of the most reasonable and self-evident truths that ever ap- pealed to the human inind — viz., the existence of an intelligent Creator — simply because the hu- man faculties can not span infinity, and under- stand the mode of his being ? Every discerning youth, will at once perceive the absurdity of siich a course, and avoid the rock upon which so many have foundered. I deem it important again to warn you against the influence of fear. This debasing passion should not be permitted to exercise any control 96 RELIGIOUS OPINIONS. in your decisions upon religious sentiments. Fear was not made umpire of the mind, to decide be- tween truth and error — for it can not possibly dis- tinguish the one from the other. If you permit fear to usurp the throne of reason, and to reign with triumphant sway over the reflections and conclusions of the mind, you commit treason against your own nature, and enter into a bondage more grievous than the chains and stripes of bodily slavery. Give the menial reins into the hands of fear, and you will be driven into fallacies the most absurd, and errors the most pernicious. Never, therefore, allow fear to intermeddle with the de- cisions cf your mind, for it is the criterion of brutes, and not of rational beings. In forming your religious opinions, I can not too strongly urge upon your attention the impor- tance of faithfully perusing the Scriptures of the Old and New Testaments. The volume of inspi- ration should be your constant companion. You should be perfectly familiar with its contents — with all its prominent precepts and doctrines. In perusing the Scriptures, let plain, common sense be your guide in regard to their teachings. From the languages in which the Bible was ori- ginally written — from its frequent allusions to manners and customs, to sayings and maxims, to forms of government and the condition of nations, as all these existed at the different and distant times when its several portions were penned — it RELIGIOUS OPINIONS. 97 is to be expected that allusions will occasionally be made in that book, which we can not now fully un- derstand — and an understanding of which would, indeed, be of little avail. It should, therefore, be your object in perusing the word of God, to obtain a clear view of the leading doctrines, the great, general principles, which it inculcates. A little candid attention will satisfy you, that a perfect harmony exists throughout its pages — that there are certain important doctrines characterized by truth, wisdom and the purest benevolence, every where proclaimed in that blessed volume. And a comparison betv/een the teachings of Nature and the prominent declarations of the Scriptures, will convince every enlightened mind that there is a perfect harmony between them, and that both have proceeded from the same source. If you observe a passage of Scripture which, at first sight, would seem to contradict the lead- ing principles proclaimed in the Scriptures, it should receive your earnest attention and a criti- cal examination. You should be slow to admit to your own mind, that it is contradictory. Ob- serve the connexion in which it is found — ascer- tam who was its author, and to whom it was writ- ten, and what were the circumstances of both parties — and learn the nature and bearing of the subject that is treated upon. If it contains words of varying or of a disputed meaning, criticise those words ; ascertain their origin, the manner in which 7 98 RELIGIOUS OPINIONS. they are used, and the meaning they are made to convey in other portions of the inspired writings. Consult the opinions of writers of different sects, in regard to its signification — and, in fine, let no measures within your power, be lacking, that will throw light upon the subject. If you faithfully pursue this course, with your minds open to con- viction, you can become perfectly satisfied in re- gard to the teachings of every such passage — and you will also become perfectly assured that the sentiments of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, are cha- racterized wholly by the purest philanthropy, and the most impartial love and kindness. Frequent meditation upon tine character of God, as revealed in the Scriptures and in the works of nature, is another valuable means of obtaining correct views of religion. The Bible declares that Jehovah possesses infinite wisdom, omnipotent power, and boundless and impartial goodness.— And nature in every part, in every operation, pro- claims that its Author possesses the same charac- teristics. Christians of every sect unite in ascrib- ing these attributes to Deity. Here, then, are settled, undisputed premises, from which you can proceed with satisfactory certainty, to draw con- clusions respecting the purposes and dealings of God, in regard to man. To attribute any work or design to the Maker, which would contradict the existence or perfect influence of either of these RELIGIOUS OPINIONS. 99 attributes, would evidently be erroneous. No con^ elusion can be more certain than this. Let these tests be applied to the design of Je- hovah in creating man — evidently the most impor- tant subject that can engross the attention of hu- man beings. To say that the Maker has formed an intelligent and sensitive bemg, with a determi- nation or foreknowledge, that his existence should result in ceaseless wretchedness, would evidently be very erroneous ; because it plainly impeaches the perfection of one of the most prominent at- tributes of God, VIZ. his goodness. Either, Deity is not impartially good, or he never formed man for this destiny, or with a knowledge of its arrival. One of these sentiments must, therefore, be re- jected by every consistent mind. You niast either deny God's goodness, or deny that he formed his creatures, determining or knowing that ceaseless evil would be their fate. The two propositions can not exist together. Goodness would rather have inflaenced Jehovah not to create the being at all, if this terrific end could not be avoided. To declare that the Creator formed man for a good purpose, but that some unforeseen accident, some unanticipated contingency transpired, contrary to the expectation and will of God, which plunges the creature into interminable wo, would plainly overthrow the wisdom, the foreknowledge and omnipercipience of Deity ; and must, therefore, be erroneous. And to insist that Jehovah has not 100 RELIGIOUS OPINIONS. power to prevent his creatures from experiencing this horrid doonij or has not power to carry into full and perfect execution all his plans for the benefit of man, is equally opposed to his omnipo- tence, and must be equally untrue. This is a le- gitimate course of reasoning, and you can pro- perly and safely pursue it. The premises are iimversally acknowledged to be correct — the logic is plain and unimpeachable — and the conclusions as unavoidable and certain, as they are cheering to the kind and benevolent heart. Believe no sen- timent, — however popular, or however strongly enforced by threats, or denunciations, or appeals to your fears, — that violates the legitimate influ- ence of the wisdom, power, or goodness of God. Try every sentiment you may hear proclaimed, by these tests of the Creator's attributes. Whatever coincides with them, believe — whatever contra- dicts, reject, as clearly erroneous. Remember there is an infinite diiference be- tv/een allowing mankind to suffer the assaults of sin and evil, for a season, to terminate in their amendment, purity and happiness ; and in permit- ting these foes to torment them endlessly ! The former — illustrated in the case of Joseph and his brethren — is perfectly consistent with the purest benevolence and love, and would be approbated by angelic hosts and beatified spirits. But the latter is directly and forever opposed to every im- pulse of goodness, holiness and mercy ; and were RELIGIOUS OPINIONS. IQl it true, would enshroud heaven with everlasting mourning, and fill its celestial courts with weep- ing and lamentation. For, surely, nothing could more deeply afflict the pure and sptotless denizens of a higher world, than an assurance that sin and wretchedness were to be forever perpetuated, and allowed to prey upon beings capable, under pro- per influences and proper instruction, of equalling the angels, in holiness and love ! In measuring the benefits which men can ex- pect to receive from God, especially in another life, let not the standard be man's worthiness — for that, alas ! at best, can truly demand but little — but let the gifts of the Creator be measured by the desire and capability of the infinite Donor .! He who has but little, can give but little to ob- jects of charity ; but he who has much — who has an infinity of resources at command — can ration- ally be expected to give in accordance to his bound- less means. There are two extremes relating to religion, into which you should sedulously avoid lunning, viz. infidelity and fanaticism. The one rejects the most reasonable propositions — the other believes the most unreasonable, when enforced by fear. — • They form the extreme outposts of incredulity and credulity. Both indicate the weakness in which the human mind is sometimes permitted to exist, and both are unworthy rational beingis.^r- Minds of such character, approximate to each 102 RELIGIOUS OPINlOPfS. Other much nearer than is generally supposed. Take off the restraint oi fear from the fanatic, without enlightening the mind, and at one leap, he goes into infidelity. Bring the powerful im- pulse of fear to bear upon the skeptic, and he be- comes the raging and illiberal fanatic ! The sound, well-balanced mind, occupies the medium ground between these extremes. While it adopts all that is reasonable on every subject, it rejects every thing unreasonable, without permitting fear to influence its conclusions in the least. That medium ground, which is based upon the Gospel of Jesus Christ, every youth who would be saved from errors, de- grading and distressing, should be cautious to occupy. Has your mind become entangled in the dark, mystic web of the skeptic ? — has your belief in the existence of a supreme, intelligent Creator, been for a moment shaken ? Go out at evening, and gaze upon the bright stars of heaven. "What beauty — what order — what harmony ! All speed- ing with inconceivable velocity, in their vast cir»- cles, yet with no interference — no confusion. Re- flect calmly on that Power — " whose finger set aright This exquisite machine, with all its wbeelSj Though intervolved, exact. " Could chance, or the operation of unintelligent laws, call inta being all those mighty orbs, and clothe them with beauty, and arrange them in or- REIiIGIOUS OPINIONS. 103 der ? Could chance trace out their vast orbits, give them an impetus which no power less than omnipo- tence can arrest, and originate those laws by which all their movements are guided and controlled 1 In your candid moments, when reason has the un- controlled ascendancy, you can not bring your mind to this puerile conclusion. Examine criti- cally, and understandingly, the argument which the poet draws from the starry heavens— " . Much design Is seea in all their motions, all their makes: Design implies intelligence, and art : That can't be from ourselves— or man ; that art Man scarce can compreheild, could man bestow ? Who, motion, foreign to the smallest grain. Shot through masses of enormous weight? Who bid brute matter's restive lump assume Such various forms, and gave it wings to fly 1 Has matter innate motion? Then each atom Asserting its indisputable right To dance, would form a universe of dust. Has matter none? Then whence these glorious forms And boundless flights, from shapeless, and reposed ? Has matter more than motion ? Has it thought, Judgment and genius ? !s it deeply learned In mathematics? Has it framed such laws, Which, Ijut to guess, a Newton made immortal? If so, how each sage atom laughs at m*, Who think a clod inferior to a manl If art to form, and counsel to conduct— And that with greater, far, than human skill- Resides not in each block-a GodAead rei^ws .♦ :^ ' "0'\ "';;',''.'' '1 ?_ '.l-^n of (''lifves. I^ook I TEMPTAT10!«fS. 131 \ipon the gaming-table as the door which leads to certain disgrace, poverty and wo ! Intemperance^ is another temptation that assails young men. The evils of this vice, are now so frequently and ably elucidated, that a few remarks from me can only be necessary. The fatal effects of intemperance, are written out in pictures horrid- ly true and vivid, in every town and hamlet through- out our country. Broken fortunes, blasted anti- cipations, ruined health, disgrace, hunger, want, and suffering in every shape, are the prolific fruits of this wretched habit. Young men, have you any desire to be involved in these miserable circumstances ? — do you wish for degradation and want ? I anticipate your re- ply. You start back with horror, and cry " No ! God forbid !" And how do you expect to avoid them ? By following in precisely the same path that involved others in their toils ? — by imitating that sot, who in youth drank whenever occasion offered ? Your good sense will dictate the danger of such a course. There is one infallible rule — and but one — by following which, every young man may be certain of avoiding intemperance, and all the long catalogue of evils that invariably follow in its train — and that is, to abstain entirely from all drinks, as a beverage, that possess power to intoxicate, in all places, and under every cir- cumstance. Hiis is your only safe-guard ! Ob- serve this rule faithfully, and you are safe — you 132 TEMPTATIONS. are entirely beyond the reach of the monster in- temperance, and its dreadful consequences. But break over this rule, however slightly, and you are exposed to great danger. If you become what is called "the temperate drinker" — if you indulge occasionally in the intoxicating draught — you have fairly set out on the highroad to intem- perance ; you have overstepped the only line of perfect safety, and have no assurance, no guaranty, that you will not become a miserable, degraded sot ! " But cannot I govern and restrain myself within the bounds of moderation ?" says the tem- perate drinker. This is precisely the questioji asked by every drunkard, while yet drinking but temperately ; and the answer can be read in the bloated visage, broken constitution, and ruined character— in the poverty, and want, and rags of their wretched families ! Although all temperate drinkers do not become habitual drunkards, yet it is quite certain that no man can become intempe- rate, without first being a moderate drinker. In- temperance is not the work of a moment. Every drunkard in the land, was first a temperate drinker; and he then felt as certain that he would never become the beastly slave of intoxication, as the most confident youth who reads these Unes. But of what avail was his confidence ? While he yet feh strong in his own power of restramt and resistance, habit was insidiously winding its massive chains around him, binding all his noble, and manly, and TEMPTATIONS. 133 god-like powers in seiritude, and, ere long, he sunk the willing slave of one of the most cruel task-masters that ever scourged the human race ! Young man, listen to me ! and if to any thing in these chapters you give heed, I pray you follow the advice I now enjoin upon you. Adopt it as one of the inflexible principles of your conduct, to avoid partaking the inebriatmg draught,* under any circumstances whatever ! Then you are per- fectly secure. But, I repeat, take any other course, and you at once become liable to all the horrors of intemperance. In avoiding an admitted evil of immense magnitude, why not take the safe and certain path, rather than the one that is unsafe and uncertain 1 Avoid, also, as far as possible, the haunts of intemperance, and the company of the habitual drinkers of intoxicating liquor, lest you become ensnared by their evil examples. You should give no countenance to the custom of partaking of intoxicating drinks, even moderately ; but should bring both your example and influence to bear against a practice so fraught with evil. Dishonesty is another temptation that besets the pathway of young men. The desire for wealth becomes, in many, so absorbing and uncontrolled, that they violate all justice, honesty and virtue, to gratify it. In your business transactions, many * Except where administered as a medicine in case of sickness. 134^ TEMPTATfON^. temptations will beset you to defraud your neigb- bor of that which is honestly his. These tempta- tions you must summon all your energies to withstand. Adopt it as your motto through life, to " render unto all their just dues." There never was a maxim more true, than that " honesty is the best policy." It should be engraven deeply upon the heart of every young man. Whenever temptations to be fraudulent arise, let them be repelled by the truth of this saying. Let it ac- company and guide you, and it will keep you in the path of rectitude, respectability and peace. In being dishonest, you may, in some cases, obtain more property than you otherwise would. But remember that every farthing you secure in this dishonorable manner, instead of making you more wealthy, detracts just so much from your real riches — from your available means to make your- self happy. Dishonesty, however much it may increase your wealth, will make you poorer in character, poorer in peace, and in every real es- sential to human enjoyment. True happiness consists in a peaceful and contented mmd ; anc? he who possesses these requisites to the highest degree, is, indeed, the wealthiest man ! Can ill- gotten riches bestow this enjoyment ? As well may you take coals of fire in your bosom, and not be burned. Be cautious to have all your dealings characterized by strict honesty and in- tegrity, and your satisfaction and " peace shall be as a river." TEMPTATIONS. 135 Another temptation is described in the fifth chapter of Proverbs. Let every young man read that chapter. Its declarations are words of truth and soberness. Let them be believed and adher- ed to, and never permitted to escape from your memory. So shall you be saved from deep de- gradation and wo. These are a few of the many temptations which beset young men. Guard against them as dead- ly foes to your happiness. Remember that vices assault the young in gangs. Admit one vice, and it will exert all its influence to make way for ano- ther, and another- — increasing in strength as they multiply in numbers, until you fall a prey to every species of iniquity : " The first crime pass'd, compels us into more, Arid guilt grows fate, that was but choice before." " With many persons," says D'Argonne, " the early age of life is passed in sowing in their minds the vices that are most suitable to their inclina- tions ; and the middle age goes on in nourishing and maturing these vices ; and the last age con- cludes in gathering in pain and anguish, the bit- ter fruit of these wretched seeds," The only safe method to prevent reaping this wretched crop m old age,, is to avoid sowing the seed in youth. liCt the seed you now plant in the moral soil, be temperance, honesty and virtue, and in advanced years, they will afford you a harvest of respecta- bility and ease. CHAPTEK III. THE HABITS. Habit is the cherishing of certain emotions and the practicing of certain actions, until they Become a second nature. It has- jtistly been said that *' man is a bundle of habits." From early infan- cy to mature manhood, he is forming habits which will more or less influence his enjoyments through life. Youth, in this respect, is a most important period. When the young niaii has a^rrived at years of reflection, and has become capable of meditating seriously on his future plans, then is the favorable time, when the mind is still tender and pliable, to correct improper habits formed in childhood, and to lay the foundation for those useful ones, that will tend greatly to his future prosperity. That it is all-important for young men to look well to the habits they are now forming, is a po- sition so evident, that little exertion is necessary to establish it. What enabled Franklin, the poor printer-boy, to arrive to an eminence which none in modern ages have surpassed ? It was acquir- ing in his youth, habits of industry, economy, perseverance, and patient research. Why does one man ascend from obscurity and indigence to The habits. 13'!7 fame and wealth, despite all obstructions, while another commences life surrounded by every ad- vantage that riches and influential friends can be- stow, and yet sinks into insignificance and poverty ? This diversity is mainly caused by the difference in the formation of their habits. The one depend- ed upon his own powers and exertions, and laid the foundation of his prosperity, by acquiring in- dustrious, persevering, and economical habits — the other, relying upon his expected wealth or influential friends, failed to qualify himself for any useful avocation, and loaded himself with habits of indolence, carelessness, and prodigality. Young men should be aware that they can cause their habits to become whatever they re- solve. Firmly determine to be frugal, industrious, and temperate, and you easily become so. A Cesar, a Napoleon, a Washington, a Cicero, a Canning, a Brougham, a Wirt, could never have arrived at their celebrity, had they not formed the outlines of their career in youth, and formed ha- bits which enabled them to fill up these outlines with so much success. Youthful habits, as was remarked in the preceding chapter, are the seed of a crop which must be reaped in after life. If your seed be of the true kind — if you obtain habits of activity, perseverance, and economy — your crop will be beautiful and gratifying. But if your habits be the reverse, your harvest will be of a corres- ponding character. 138 THE HABITS, "Habits are easily formed — especially such as are bad ; and what to-day seems to be a small af- fair, will soon become fixed, and hold you with the strength of a cable. That same cable, you will recollect, is formed by spinning and twisting one thread at a time ; but when once completed, the proudest ship turns her head towards it, and ac- knowledges her subjection to its power. Habits of some kind will be formed by every youth. He will have a particular course, in which his time, his employments, his thoughts and feelings will run. Good or bad, these habits soon become a part of himself, and a kind of social nature. Who does not know, that the old man who has occupied a particular corner of the old fire-place, in the old house, for sixty years, may be rendered wretched by a change ? Who has not read of the release of the aged prisoner of the Bastile, who entreated that he might again return to his gloomy dungeon, because his habits there formed were so strong that his nature threatened to sink under the at- tempt to break them up ? You will probably find no man of forty, who has not habits which he la- ments, which mar his usefulness, but which are so inwoven with his very being, that he cannot break through them. At least he has nqt the courage to try."* In order to be useful to yourself and your fel- low-beings, it is necessary that you enter upon * Student's Manual. THE HABITS. 139 some profession or occupation. Even the most wealthy, should not be without a definite calling. Riches the most immense, often " take wings and fly away" — and when he who is thus dispossessed of them, is without an occupation, his condition in such circumstances, is truly deplorable. The occupation or profession, should be chosen in accordance with the abilities, taste, and circum- stances of each individual — remembering that all honest and useful employments are alike honora- ble. It is, however, far better to be a good me- chanic or agriculturalist, than a poor professional man — it is more desirable to be in the respectable class of the former, than in the lowest grades of the latter. The habits necessary to insure success and respectability, are many. I will enumerate a few of the most prominent. Industry is one of the most necessary and use- ful of the habits. Says St. Paul— '^ This we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat." It is the first law of our nature, that every true comfort we enjoy, must be purchased by exertion. And it is a law equally well established, that all well directed industry, shall receive an ample remuneration in health and vigor. Of all habits that fetter human powers, indolence is the most unmanly and debasing. Every thing around you — the earth, air and wa- ter—the insect, fowls and beast — all exhibit untir- 140 TfliS ttABlfS. ing industry, and cry out "shame!" against the huKian being who will suffer his capabilities to iStagnate in the sluggish pool of indolence. Of what value is an indolent man to himself or the world ? He is good for nothing, and worse than useless — is a burthen to himself and a pest to so- ciety, and those connected with him. He can not be said to exist — he but vegetates, as the weed of the garden; and as the weed, he is disrespected through life, and at death is forgotten ! "Go to the ant, thou sluggard : consider her ways and be wise." This little insect furnishes a useful lesson to every man of indolence. With a prudent foresight, she industriously " provideth her meat in the Summer, and gathereth her food in the harvest." And when the snows and frosts of Winter arrive, they find her fully provided with comforts to sustain her until the return of Spring. But the indolent man has even less wisdom and foresight than the ant. With him the future is all unprovided for ; and in an unexpected hour, want, as an armed man, seizes him in its bony embrace ! As a punishment, God has entailed sickness, imbecility, unhappiness, and premature death, on the indolent. For what purpose were out bodies supplied with joints, sinews, and mus- cles, but to be exerted in industrious occupation ? The benefits arising from habits of industry, are numerous. Industry is the most fruitful source of that highest of bodily enjoyments, health. A THE HABITS. 141 due exercise of the bodily and mental functions, are prolific sources of earthly happiness. Activity opens streams of enjoyment, that would otherwise be clogged by indolence, and generate discontent and pain. Let the truth settle deep into every mind, that health can not long be enjoyed without industry. , It would minister far more to the en- joyment of the man of wealth, to go out with the sturdy woodsman, and make the forest resound with the blows of his axe, or to engage in some other stirring avocation, than recline in the Deli- lahan lap of luxury, to be shorn of his strength and energy, and to resort to nostrums to support a constitution filled by indolence with the prolific seeds of disease ! It is a good proverb, that " we had better wear out than rust out." For this wearing out, as it is termed, is indeed the pro- longing of life and health ; but rusting out, is a living death. To secure health, individuals of sedentary occupations, should labor or exercise more or less, every day, in the open air.* The correctness of this rale is constantly becoming more and more apparent. " Pray, of what did your brother die ?" said the Marquis of Spinola to Sir Horace Vere. " He died. Sir," replied he, " of having nothing to do.^^ " Alas, Sir," said Spinola, "that is enough to kill any general of us all." The Turks have a proverb, that " a busy * See Combe on the Constitution of man — chap, ii: sec. 7. 142 THE HABITS*. man is troubled with but one devil ; but the idle man, with a thousand." Industry is one of the most certain means of ob- taining wealth. Although all industrious men do not become Avealthy, yet comparatively few ever arose from indigence lo wealth, without this qua- lification. And in this land of equality, it is the only safe basis upon which to rest your anticipa- tions of acquiring property. Making some " lucky hit," by which a fortune is acquired at once, is a chance that occurs but to a small number; and if you wait in indolence for such an opportunity, you will undoubtedly pass through life in poverty. The greater proportion of the wealthy in this country, acquired their property by assiduous in- dustry. And I repeat, that this is the only pro- per resource upon which to depend to acquire riches. Industry ranks among the best recom- mendations a young man can possess. He who has ihis qualification, can not want for employ- ment, assistance, or friends. The industrious youth, whose other habits are good, will always be respected, patronized, and encouraged. But indolence, even though connected with many good habits, invariably inspires disrespect and disgust. Let every young man, then, firmly resolve to establish a habit of industry. "With it, he can ra- tionally hope to be almost every thing great and good — to obtain every thing proper, and to enjoy every thing consistent with virtue and propriety.v THE HABITS. 143 But without it, even though he may inherit weahh, he can rationally anticipate nothing but ill health, abasement, and wretchedness. Perseverance, is another habit which young men should acquire. This habit must be long culti- vated, before it can be fully obtained. Parents should be aware that a trainmg for it, can profita- bly be commenced, even in childhood. In his infantile undertakings, the child can be influenced to persevere until his designs are accomplished. And in all the doings of youth, pains should be taken to induce them to avoid fickleness of pur- pose, and to infuse into their minds, a spirit of un- wearied perseverance. This will soon grow into a habit, the beneficial influences of which will be realized through life. A habit of perseverance well adhered to, will ac- complish the most surprising results. Throuc^h its influence. Napoleon was enabled to scale " the cloud-capped Alps"— Franklin to become one of the eminent philosophers of the world— and Clin- ton to accomplish one of the most splendid pro- jects of modern ages. The beautiful islands of the Pacific, are but immense coral reefs, raised from unknown depths, by the perseverance of mi- nute insects, who carry but one grain of sand at a time. It is related of the celebrated conqueror, Timour the Tartar, that upon an occasion of ad- verse fortune, he was compelled to secrete him- self from his pursuers in a ruined building.— 144 THE HABITS. While ia this condition, as he was ruminating upon his ill fortune, he espied an ant, sedulously engaged in efforts to carry a kernel of grain, larger than itself, up a high wall. For a long time its efforts were unavailing. Still at every defeat, would it renew its exertions with unabated energy and perseverance. Sixty-nine times did it essay to perform this feat, and as often failed. But the seventieth time, the industrious insect succeeded in gaining the top of the wall with its prize. " The sight," said the conqueror, " gave me courage at the moment, and I have never forgotten the les- son it conveyed." The example of the ant, is worthy of all imita- tion. Let your plans be deliberately and maturely formed — sec that they are honest and honorable — and then let " Perseverance" be your watchword, and you will seldom fail of success. " I can't," never accomplished any thing. " Col. Miller," said Gen. P^ipley, at the battle of Niagara, " can you carry that battery?" " Gen. Ripley, 1 will try !" was the laconic reply. At the head of his gallant regiment, he tried, and by uniting bravery with perseverance, succeeded in repulsing the foe and carrying the battery. " I will try," has ac- complished wonders in the world. When the habit of perseverance stands by you, as a hand- maid, to lend her assistance, you can safely calcu- late upon a favorable result in all your reasonable operations ; but without this desirable qualifica- TREATMENT OF RELIGIOUS ERROR. 113 express your religious views, and enter into a con- troversy to maintain them. It may be proper to do so in all those public places above enumerated, under very peculiar circumstances — but such in- stances are exceedingly rare. I repeat, let pru- dence and judgment be your guides in relation to this subject, and you will hardly err. J^Bi A VOICE TO YOUNG MEN. CHAPTER I. INTRODUCTION. The station in society occupied by young men, is one of commanding importance and deep re- sponsibility. In the course of nature and by the usages of mankind, to those who are now young- men, must soon be committed in trust, under Providence^ all the important interests of commu- nity. If the institutions of our country — its civil and religious freedom — the numerous advantages and facilities which it affords for the improvement of mankind in useful knowledge — are to be pre- served and perpetuated, it must be mainly through their exertions. Upon their arm the nation de- pends to repel the foreign foe, and to quell the spirit of domestic discord. They will soon com- pose our legislative and other deliberative coun- cils. It will speedily devolve upon them to enact laws and to execute them. In fine, ere long, they must give tone to our national voice and national character. When the infamous Cataline conspir- ed to wrest from Rome her liberties, his first ef- fort was to corrupt the young men ; well knowing that when they became ripe for misrule, the work of desecrating the altar of Liberty, could easily ^1 118 INTRODUCTION. be accomplished. And true it is, that as the young men of a nation are enlightened and virtu- ous, or corrupt and ignorant, so are the prospects of its future prosperity, or of its speedy overthrow and ruin. How necessary that young men should become aware of the important responsibilities resting upon them, and of the necessity of quali- fying themselves to discharge them faithfully ? , The condition of young men, in regard to their future character, is much more perilous than that of the other sex. Being brought by their occu- pations, in frequent contact with the unprincipled and profligate, they are subject to influences ex- tremely deleterious, and to temptations of a se- ducing and dangerous character. Absorbed in the pursuits of pleasure, or in the strife for wealth or fame, they are liable to be led into a careless- ness as to the means employed to secure their ends. Blindfolded by passion, interest or a thirst for enjoyment, thousands rush headlong into those vicious practices that plunge their votaries into the deep vortex of wretchedness. And yet there is a safe path, open for all to pursue, which will most certainly lead to respectability, enjoyment aAd peace— ^a path which none ever yet followed, without escaping many of the evils of life, and ex- periencing a prosperity, and an amount of happi- ness which are wanting to all who pursue a con- trary course. SELECTION OF ASSOCIATES. 119 Young men, will you listen, while I endeavor to point out that path, and lay before you some of the inducements which call upon you to walk therein ? While I may not have time or space to go over the whole ground pertaining to your duty and interests, still I will engage to bring forward motives sufficiently powerful to induce every wise and discreet young man, to be cautious and watch- ful, as to the measures he adopts to secure pros- perity and enjoyment. Your attention is first so- licited to — THE SELECTION OF COMPANIONS. Man is by nature a social being. He delights to mingle with his race, and to interchange senti- ments and offices of friendship and kindness.-— This disposition is peculiarly evinced by the young. Every young man selects some one or more of those of his rank and condition, to be- come his companions or associates. At every op- portunity, he seeks their company, to find that en- joyment which he supposes he would fail to ob- tain by mingling with others. The influence exercised by the companions with whom you intimately associate, will be pow- erful and enduring. " Show me your company, and I will show you your character," is an old adage and true. The character of the associates with whom you mingle, will evince to a good de- gree, your inclinations, habits and principles.— 120 SELECTION OF ASSOCIATES. Young men often are not aware, how sensibly their reputation is influenced by their compan- ions. Do you associate with the vicious, the profligate, the intemperate ? You must not be surprised if community attribute to you, propen- sities of the hke character. What other conclu- sion can they draw ? You never prefer the com- pany of one man to that of another, without there is something more pleasing to you in his habits or principles. If you prefer the society of the ignorant and corrupt, to that of the enlightened and virtuous, there is no indication more certain, that your inclinations and tastes tend more pow- fully to the characteristics of the former, than to those of the latter. However dissimilar, at first, may be your tastes, habits and principles, by ming- ling constantly in the company of certain indivi- duals, you insensibly, yet unavoidably, lose your distinctive characteristics, and absorb theirs. — As the stream always partakes of the qualities of the soil through which it runs, so the principles and habits of youth, become invariably tinctured by the character of the company in which they mingle. Great caution, therefore, is necessary in regard to your associates. You should not view this as a subject unworthy a thought or an exertion.-— From among your acquaintance, you should se- lect those with whom you would associate. And in this choice, let wisdom and discretion be your SELECTION OF ASSOCIATES 121 guides. Remember that you are creatures of imi- tation, and that the force of example, is immense, informing your characters. If you err in your selections — or if, from choice, you associate with the profligate and debased, — your condition is truly critical. Allowing that your character at the commencement of the intimacy, is much bet- ter than theirs, how long can it remain so ? It is next to impossible for you to raise them to your elevation in worth, were you disposed so to do. — i But the effect of your intercourse with them, will be the reverse. You will be debased to their le- vel — you will become saturated with their evil pro- pensities — you will imitate their vicious practices —be wedded to their corruptions, and finally, will be led into the degradation and ruin which is the certain result of dissipation and crime. By associating with the vicious, you assume their character, are weighed by their worth, and esteemed by their value, in the eyes of commu- nity. You probably recollect the story of the dog Tray, and of the difficulties that befel him, though innocent, from mingling in bad compa- ny. That fable is more frequently enacted in real life, than many would suppose. But young men do not often become rid of evil companions, at as cheap a rate as poor Tray. At the expense of one flogging he abandoned the gang forever. — But although youth experience many evil con- sequences from their corrupt associates, yet it too 122 SELECTION OF ASSOCIATES. frequently happens, that they become so tinctured with the love of low and vicious company, and their sinful practices, that again and again do they return smarting to their embrace. Strong and more strong grow the chains that bind them to the servitude of evil desires. Vices upon which they first looked with horror, gradually become less repulsive in their appearance, until they final- ly fall helpless and entirely into the slavery of their grasp. When once you embrace the company of the profligate, it will be difficult to dissever the con- nexion. They will exert every eifort to induce you to continue in bondage with them. All ex- ertion on your part to reform, will be met by their combined ridicule and opposition. This, added to the strong chains of sinful habits, will render your return to virtue, a work of extreme difficul- ty. Thus by selecting vicious companions, there will be an hundred chances to one, against your reformation, your success in business, or your obtaining a respectable character — but the great probability is, that you will experience the fate predicted by the wise man — "the companion of fools shall be destroyed." You should believe it as an immutable truth, that by becoming the com- panion of the foolish and corrupt, you will event- ually lose your virtuous and upright principles, and with them will be destroyed health, reputa- tion, peace and happiness ! SELECTION OF ASSOCIATES. 123 With these dangers visibly before them, young men of discretion and forethought, will perceive the necessity of selecting such associates only, as are virtuous and intelligent. In making your choice, you should not be influenced by outward show, or circumstance ; by pride, or fashion, or popularity — you should not be influenced so much by condition, as by the qualification. The real diflerence in the value of men, arises not from their circumstances, but in superiority of mind, purity of morals, and amiability of disposition. — All are worthy to become your associates who are virtuous, amiable and intelligent. Such choose, and none others. By mingling and associating with people of these qualifications, you cannot fail ofbeing high- ly benefited. Your natural propensity of imita- tion — the influence of their conversation, habits, manners and general demeanor — all become pow- erful causes operating upon your character and forming it to virtue and usefulness. In the pre- sence of such individuals, all incentives to vice will be Avanting — virtue, religion and useful knowledge will appear in their true and lovely forms — and trains of thought, action and habit, will be laid, that will lead to the most valuable results. An intimacy with people of good character, will ele- vate you in the estimation of society. Their vir- tues, to a considerable extent, will be considered yours. Confidence will be reposed in you — as- 124 SELECTION OF RSSOCIATES. sistance rendered you — and the good wishes of your fellow-beings will rest upon you. In fine, the benefits flowing from the choice of virtuous and enlightened associates, are all the reverse of the evils growing out of a selection of those who are vicious. Be cautious to avoid deception in this matter. Gay, sociable, pleasant manners, are not always the indication of a pure heart, or of virtuous prin- ciples. Beneath an agreeable exterior, often lurk low, vulgar tastes, vicious propensities and profli- gate habits. Become the associate of no one with whose character you are not fully acquainted. — Form no intimacies, and allow none, until you are perfectly satisfied upon this point. This is the only safe course you can adopt. Listen cheerfully to the advice of parents and guardians, in regard to your associates. By their superior experience and wisdom, they possess a clearer insight into human character than you can have obtained ; and they are enabled to look be- yond the exterior appearance and accomplish- ments, and comprehend to a good degree, the real character of youth. Their counsel will be of essential benefit in aiding you to avoid the com- panionship of the vicious, and in selecting for your intimacies, those whose example will be of a virtuous and salutary character. CHAPTER II TEMPTATIONS. There are many vicious practices which, ar- rayed in deceitful garbs, present themselves to young men, and frequently allure them to ruin. These temptations throng around the young in their most alluring forms, and invite them to par- ticipate in what they would cause you to believe are their enjoyments. But, young men, beware of them — beware / Although they appear before you in the garb of friendship— although they ad- dress you in sweet and fascinating tones — yet, in reality, they are your foes — your most bitter, fatal, deadly enemies ! They come to you under the specious pretence of improving your condition, of affording you enjoyment, of leading you into those fair and beautiful fields of pleasure, for which you ardently thirst. But, mark me! all their pretences are false — all their promises are baseless and empty— -and those gorgeous pictures which they so vividly paint to your glowing ima- gination, are as illusory and vain, as the fleeting visions of the midnight dream. In their every attempt to bestow enjoyment upon you, their highest success can be but a fitful excitement. 126 TEMPTATIONS. which will inflict a real sting, a real poison, to your true happiness and peace. Were these temptations to present themselves in their true colors — were their real features visible — youth would reject them instantly. " Vice is a monster of so frightful mein, As, to be hated, needs but to be seen." When vice is seen in its real nature and results, it is universally hated. It is only by the disguise which temptations assume, the tinsel trappings with which they conceal their hideous features, that they are enabled to deceive any. When young men see these temptations in the grosser aspects they assume to their confirmed victims, or discover their ulterior and certain results, they start back with disgust and horror. The youth who beholds the drunkard rolling in the mire, and hears his children cry for bread — or sees the pro- fligate bloated with disease, or the thief in prison, or the murderer upon the gallows — has no inclina- tion to be degraded to these conditions ; and has no apprehension that such will ever be his cir- cumstances. And such, indeed, would never be his condition, were he but considerately to trace these disastrous results back to their real origin. But herein lies the danger of youth. It is diffi- cult to convince the young man, that harmless temptations, as he imagines them, which are so pleasing and enticing to his imagination, are the cause of so much pain, and wretchedness, and TEMPTATIONS. 127 iruin. I beseech all candid young men to be con- sistent upon this subject. If you would know the real effect of giving way to early, and even trivial temptations, go and question the miserable vic- tims of vice. Amid groans of anguish and una- vailing regrets, they will trace to you the history of their career, recorded in the annals of infamy and shame. They will lead you back, step by step, the downward road they pursued. They will assure you, that the vices which eventually plunged them into ruin, presented themselves to their view, in youth, in the same pleasing colors, with the same harmless, inoffensive air, that they now appear to you. They believed these lying, deceitful appearances— they followed the gilded shadows — they plunged deep into the vortex of misnamed pleasure — and, ere long, they awoke involved in the severest anguish and despair ! Young men, will you not take warning by the living records of crime, which are every where scattered around ? Will you wisely scrutinize the temptations that beset you, and perceive their ruinous effects, and withstand them ? Or will you give way to their fascinations, and recklessly rush onward in the fool-hardy career, run by so many of your race, to awaken to the same de- gradation and anguish? Be not so vain as to flatter yourself that you can indulge in sinful practices, and avoid those dreadful consequences which they have invariably entailed upon all who 128 TEMPTATIONS. have been guilty of them. By what reasonable rule can you calculate that the laws of God, of nature, and of man, will change their mode of operation, and relent in their principles and ex- actions, in your behalf, when, to all others they are undeviating and rigidly certain ? Indulge not, for a moment, these ignorant suppositions. Like causes must produce like effects. If by giving way to early temptations, others have rapidly be- come involved in wretchedness and ruin, as you well know, the same fate unavoidably awaits you, if you imitate their example. I will briefly notice a few of the temptations by which young men are liable to be beset. Gambling is a temptation to which young men are exposed. This practice is unjust. It is un- just to take the property of another, without re- turning a proper equivalent therefor — it amounts to robbery ; this the gamester does. Gambling is unlawful. No just law can sanction or tolerate it. Laws were passed against it, as early as the reign of Queen Anne, of England. And from that period to the present, in all well regulated communities, this practice has been forbidden by law. It is an unprofitable occupation. " It is certain," says Locke, that "gaming leaves no satisfaction behind it, to those who reflect when it is over ; and it no way profits either body or mind. As to their estates, if it strike so deep as to concern them, it is a trade, then, and not a re- THE HABITS. 145 tion, you may commence a thousand projects, and fail in all. When a proper business is fairly undertaken, or a resolution formed, persevere in its pursuit — bend all the proper energies of your mind to its service, and let no common induce- ment swerve you into another track. " A young man who had wasted his patrimony by profligacy, whilst standing, on« day, on the brow of a preci- pice from which he had determined to throw him- self, formed the sudden resolution to regain what he had lost. The purpose thus formed, was kept and persevered in ; and though he began by sho- velling a load of coals into a cellar, for which he only received twelve and a half cents, yet he pro- ceeded from one step to another, till he more than recovered his lost possessions, and died worth sixty thousand pounds sterling." A well-directed perseverance in a laudable de- termination, will insure success against many dis- advantages. It will overcome obscurity of birth, the want of fortune, and of wealthy and influen- tial friends. A case in point, occurred under the observation of the writer. I remember well that antiquated school-house, in a small hamlet, at the north-western part of the State of New-York. The teacher procured a silver medal, and sus- pended it at his desk in sight of the school, with the annunciation that at the end of the term, it should be the prize of the scholar who should ex- cel. A spirit of eager rivalry was awakened 10 146 THE HABITS. in the school — all strived assiduously to gain the glittering reward. But the eye of memory rests particularly upon two lads of nearly an equal age, who bore the most prominent part in this intel- lectual strife. The disparity in their circum- stances was striking. The one, the son of a man of wealth and high standing in that community, was promised additional rewards by his relatives, did he secure the prize. The father of the other was poor — all he possessed was honesty and in- dustry — and to the son, no other inducement could be held out, but the prize itself and the ho- nor of obtaining it. And this was sufficient to fire his ambition. The son of poverty formed a fixed determination that the medal should be his. He applied himself to study with the most indomitable perseverance — nothing could divert his attention, or thwart his purpose. His eft'orts resulted in complete success — his industry and perseverance met their certain reward. He was crowned vic- tor; and with the blushes of boyhood, received the envied prize ! In this instance, perseverance accomplished what wealth could not. Let us trace the history of these lads a little farther. After living side by side, engaged in the same sports and amusements, a few years after the incident above related, they parted. The son of the man of wealth, entered higher seminaries, to obtain the advantages of a more extended edu- cation ; while the other was put to a trade. It 1 THE HABITS. 147 waB then that the latter first felt with force, the disparity in the gifts of fortune — first sensibly re- alized the evils of poverty. While he was engag- ed in laborious occupation, as a means of subsis- tence, his early companion was expanding his mind with the lights of literature and science, with every prospect of occupying a station in life, as superior to the other as were his advantages. But the poor lad, notwithstanding his adverse cir- cumstances, was not disposed to remain in obscu- rity. He firmly resolved to make every exertion in his power, to arise above the disadvantages of birth and indigence. He summoned Industry and Perseverance to be his hand-maids, in the career he had marked and determined to pursue. Every effort was put forth — every means of im- provement within his reach, was diligently used — and every possible advantage secured. Nor were his efforts unavaihng, or his labors fruitless. Success, beyond his most sanguine anticipations, attended him. And now, at the penning of these lines, he occupies a station in one of the most en- lightened communities of the world, which, while requiring far more talent, is as elevated, as respec- table and honorable, as that filled by the wealthy companion of his childhood ! These circum- stances are not narrated to cast any disparagement upon the latter. His course thus far in life, has been prosperous and honorable. He occupies a station which none can obtain, but those well 14S THE HABITS. skilled in his profession. But they are adverted to, solely to convince young men, that enlight- ened perseverance can overcome almost every ob- stacle in an honorable career. Faithfulness, is a habit which the young should cultivate. What more desirable qualification can a young man possess, than faithfulness to his em- ployers, in the discharge of all business and inte- rests entrusted to his disposal. Once let a young man obtain the name of being faithful in all the duties and obligations resting upon him, and he secures the confidence of the whole community. But once let it be known that he is faithless, and all trust in him is destroyed, and his character re- ceives a fatal blow. Have you business to transact ? Do it faithfully., if your own ; and especially so, if it is confided to you by others. Have you work to perform ? Let it be done faithfully — as near what you contracted to do, and as near what it ajypears to be, as pos- sible. Avoid all deception in regard to these things. A mechanic or a merchant very much mistakes his interest, who slights his work, or palms off his goods for what they really are not. Such men may gain a few dollars in the outset, by pursuing this deceptive course ; but a just and speedy retribution awaits them. Their decep- tions are soon discovered^ — ^their dishonesty is laid bare — and an indignant community will withhold all farther patronage and encouragement. ^H£ HABITS. 149 *'A Mahratta Prince, in passing through a cer- tain apartment, one day, discovered one of his servants asleep, with his master's slippers clasped so tightly to his breast, that he was unable to dis- engage them. Struck with the fact, and conclud- ing at once that a person who was so jealously careful of a trifle, could not fail to be faithful when entrusted with a thing of importance, he appointed him a member of his body guard. The result proved that the prince was not mistaken. Rising in office, step by step, the young man soon became the most distinguished military comman- der in Mahratta ; and his fame ultimately spread throughout India." Thus faithfulness will ever gain confidence, and is one of the most essential ingredients in securing respect and prosperity. Be faithful, then— faithful in all you do, even in the most trivial things — and a certain reward awaits you. Punctuality, is another habit which should not be overlooked. This habit can easily be fornied, but more easily neglected. Begin while young, to be punctual in your occupation and in all your business transactions, and it will soon become a habit that will sit easily upon you, and save you from many perplexing difficulties. A man who is punctual in fulfilling all his engagements, and in discharging all his responsibilities, has many fa- cilities and advantages offered him by the business community, that are denied those who are known 150 THE HABITS. to be slack and Hegteclfiil. The credit of the former stands far higher than that of the latter, although his means may not be as ample. " Pro- crastination is the thief of time," and the stum- bling-block to prosperity. ^' If I had been there but a moment sooner ." But you might have been there, had the spirit of punctuality stirred within you. " Do at once, what at once ought to be done. Let not the season of action be spent in hesitancy. Do not let to-morrow be perpetually the time when every thing is to be done." " A time for every thing, and every thing in its time — a place for every thing, and every thing in its place." These are maxims that should be engraven upon the tablet of every young man's memory. There is no truth more certain, than that if you do not drive your business, your busi- ness will drive you. He who drives his business has every thing done promptly and correctly, and still has leisure at his disposal ; while the indivi- dual who is driven by his business, is constantly hurried and perplexed — his affairs are in confu- sion, and often suffer for want of attention — for what is done in a hurry, is generally ill done. Study, then, to be punctual, prompt, and metho- dical in all your affairs. Punctuality is the " fly- wheel" which gives steadiness and precision to all the machinery of business. Early Rising is a habit that should be sedu- lously cultivated. This habit is conducive to i THE HABITS. 151 health, to longevity, and to prosperity. When your avocations commence with the opening light of morning, it gives every thing a forward impulse that can be felt throughout the day. But let the sun commence his t3aily work long before you leave the bed, and all things drag as though a spell rested upon them. " A sluggard takes an hundred steps, because he would not take one in due time." Sum up the hours that are, by many people, needlessly spent in bed, and they will amount to years in a long life. Napoleon, in the midst of his triumphs, allowed himself but four hours sleep in the twenty-four. This untiring ap- plication to business, was undoubtedly one secret of his extraordinary success. There is wisdom in the proverb of Solomon — "Yet a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep ; so shall thy poverty come as one that travelleth, and thy want as an armed man." Experience testifies t*© the truth of this declaration, that indo- lence is the cause of poverty and want. Let the young take heed of this danger and avoid it. Let the words of the wise man be called vividly to mind on retiring to rest, and with due reflection, they will arouse you with the dawning light of morning. Economy is not, by far, the least in importance among the habits to be commended to youth. It needs no argument to show that a spendthrift must, ere long, necessarily be involved in poverty. 1^3 THE HABITS* The young man who expends in useless amuse- ments or sinful follies, all he earns, of course can lay up nothing to CGmmen€e business for himself, or to provide for future misfortunes or wants. And such an one can hardly hope for assistance in pecuniary matters. The confidence of com- munity is wanting ; and when that is gone, all is gone. And he who spends more than his income, will soon become involved in toils which it will be difficult to escape. The necessity of economy is acknowledged by all ; but with too many, especially the young, it is one thing to make this acknowledgment, but another and quite different thing, to practice in accordance with it. It is not very difficult to take care of whatever large sums we may possess,^ but it is a work of greater care to economize the smaller sums. Hence the propriety of the max- im — " take care of the shillings, and the pounds will take care of themselves." A man that is truly economical, will become rich in saving what another deems too little to deserve care. " A penny saved, is two pence earned, '' was one of the trite sayings of Franklin ; and in practicing it, he became wealthy. Every young man should study economy, in all his expenditures. A trifling sum squandered every day, soon amounts to an aggregate of im- portance. How many are there in the middle and advanced stages of life, who, could they have tHE HABITS 153 what they heedlessly and uselessly spent in youth, would be saved from ruin and want. The young should remember that every farthing which they expend unnecessarily, will cause them to be so much poorer through life. I would not inculcate a parsimonious, miserly disposition. I would have the young generous and liberal in all their conduct. But there is a vast distinction between the liberal man and the spendthrift. True econo- my is not opposed to expenditures for all that is necessary fully to supply your own wants, and to satisfy the claims of charity, benevolence^ gene- rosity, justice, and the public welfare. But far- ther than this it forbids your proceeding. It calls upon you to husband your means carefully, and to avoid all sinful, frivolous, and useless expences. If young men desire to obtain a competency, this is the only safe method to secure it. Young men should also be economical of time. " Time is money," says Dr. Franklin. An hour or a day needlessly idled away, is so much money taken from your pocket. Let all your time be occupied usefully. Your leisure hours, should not be idle hours. A useful book, or other pub- lication — the conversation of select friends — the obtaining in any proper manner of valuable infor- mation — should occupy those hours not devoted to business. Men who have distinguished them- selves in the world, have always been economical of time. One of the most industrious men in 154 THE HABITS. England, is Lord Brougham. He often does not leave the House of Lords until midnight, and yet he always rises by four o'clock, A. M. And by thus husbanding his time, he has been enabled to attend to a greater diversity of interests, and to despatch a greater amount of business, than any other individual of the present age. Dr. Cotton Mather, to prevent his time being wasted too much by visitors, placed in large characters over the door of his study, the motto — " Be brief." Professor Vorsinus, of the University of Heidel- berg, for the same purpose, wrote over the door of his library—" Whoever thou art that enterest here, be briefer get you gone.'''' Scaliger, profes- sor of the Belles-Lettres, at Ley den, whom his friends denominated " an ocean of science," and '* the master-piece of nature," inscribed on the door of his study : " Tempus meum est ager meus^'''' (My time is my field.) " Sire, one word," said a soldier one day, to Frederick the Great, on pre- senting a lieutenant's commission for his signa- ture. " If you utter two,'" said the industrious prince, " I will cause you to be hung up by the heels." " Sign," said the soldier. The mon- arch, astonished at his presence of mind, granted his request. Let young men cultivate such ha- bits of economy in time, and in after years they will realize the beneficial fruits of their wisdom. Temperance. — -The evils of intemperance, I have already adverted to in a former chapter. THE HABITS. 155 Habits of temperance are of the utmost utility to health, usefulness, and success in business. And here I would repeat that temperance in drink, is entire abstinence from intoxicating liquors of every character. Adopt this judicious rule, and you are entirely absolved from all danger of becoming engulfed in the wretchedness and ruin of the habitual drunkard. But if you 6verstep this line, and become what is sometimes termed the tem- perate drinker, you are exposed to imminent dan- ger ; and the chances are greatly against you, that you will ere long be involved in the deepest evils of intemperance. The only way to be insured against intemperance and its woes, is to avoid the commencement of the evil, by refraining wholly from all intoxicating drinks as a beverage ! It is also necessary to acquire habits of tempe- rance in regard to food. In the Scriptures the glutton and the drunkard are ranked upon nearly the same level ; and so heinous were these habits considered by the Israelites, that they punished those guilty of them, by stoning to death. Glut- tony is a vile and low habit, and assimilates its victims far too near the nature of the swine. It is the fruitful source of the most painful diseases, and leads to a premature grave. Let every young person avoid it as they value respectability and comfort — for it is highly destructive to both. Read the words of Ecclesiasticus — "Eat modestly that which is set before thee, and devour not, lest % 156 THE HABITS. thou be hated. When thou sittest among many, reach not thy hand out first of all. A whole- some sleep Cometh of a temperate belly. Such a man riseth up in the morning, and is well at ease with himself. Be not too hasty of meats : for excess of meats bringeth sickness, and chole- ric diseases cometh of gluttony." Temperance also forbids the use of tobacco, in any form or manner. Those who urge the pro-^ priety of temperance in drink, and yet use that nauseous weed, are inconsistent — they are tem- perate in one respect, but intemperate in another; they abjure one evil and cling to another. The man who lectures publicly against intoxicating drinks, with his mouth loaded with filthy tobac- co, or his nostrils filled with snuff, furnishes a most beautiful commentary on consistency and propriety ! In the great majority of cases, to those who use tobacco, it is not only useless and uncalled for, but it is absolutely injurious to health and appearance. And it is now becoming generally believed, that tobacco is not necessary to health in any case — or, in other words, that in those few instances where it has been considered beneficial, health and soundness can be procured much better by another course of treatment. It is estimated that in the United States, $16,000,000 are annually expended in the consumption of to- bacco ! Were this enormous sum, which is now worse than thrown away, to be applied to internal THE HABITS. 157 improvements, or to the education of the people, how immense would be the benefits that would flow therefrom. " If you have ever learned to chew or smoke that Indian weed, called tobacco, I beg that you will at once drop all, cleanse your mouth, and never again defile yourself with it. Let a man be thrown from a shipwreck upon a desert island, and in a state of starvation, and he would rather die than to eat this weed, though the island might be covered with it ; and n,o youth can use it, either in chewing, smoking, or snuffing, without decided and permanent injury to his appearance and health, and progress in study. When the fashion was so strong in England, that James I. could get no one to preach against it, his own royal hand took the pen and wrote a treatise which he denominates ' A Counterblast to Tobacco.'' The strength of his princely antidote may be gath- ered from the following closing paragraph of this royal counterblast : ' It is a custom loathesome to the eye, hateful to the nose, harmful to the brain, dangerous to the lungs, and i3ropriety, a lady is not to be supposed to remain single from aversion to that institution of marriage, which has been formed by the Creator. She is not, therefore, to be disrespected on this account. But the bachelor, from his superior advantages of selection, must remain single only through choice ; and thus makes himself justly the object of animadversion and contempt ! A young man has no " right to sport v/ith the affections of a young woman, in any way whatever. Vanity is generally the tempter in this case ; a de- sire to be regarded as being admired by the wo- men ; a very despicable species of vanity, but fre- quently mischievous, notwithstanding. You do not, indeed, actually, in so many words, promise to marry ; but the general tenor of your language and deportment, has that meaning ; you know that your meaning is so understood ; and if you have not such meaning— if you be fixed by some pre- vious engagement with, or greater liking for, ano- ther if you know you are here sowing the seeds of disappointment— and if you persevere in spite of the admonitions of conscience — you are guilty of deliberate deception, injustice and cruelty. You make to God an ungrateful return for those endowments which have enabled you to achieve 16 242 ^ MARRIAGE. this inglorious and unmanly triumph ; and if, as is frequently the case, you glory in such triumph, you may have person, riches, talents to excite envy ; but every just and humane man will abhor your heart."* The proper time for marriage, is a subject of some moment. You should not enter the matri- monial state, until you are competent to support a family in circumstances of comfort. There is a Spanish proverb which says, " a husband with- out ability, is like a house without a roof." The man who has not the ability to provide for a fami- ly, would entail wretchedness upon himself, and those connected with him, weie he to be married. But in this land of plenty, there are no young men possessing health and habits of industry and econo- my, who are incapable of maintaining a family^ by the time they arrive at a suitable age for wedlock. Early marriages are preferable to late ones. By delaying until middle life, or old age, the habixs and temper of the parties become fixed, and it is with great difficulty that they can adapt themselves to each other's dispositions, so as to pass, pleasant- ly through life — though it is better to marry late in life, than not at all. As a general rule, young men should not marry before the age of four or five and twenty, nor delay it, except where circum- stances imperiously demand, after thirty. " In * Guide. i MARRIAGE. 243 Wurtemberg it is illegal for any young man to marry before the age of twenty-five, or any young woman before eighteen ; and no man is allowed to marry at any age, unless he can shew to the priest, his ability to provide for a wife and family. Such laws are extremely rational and judicious."* The proper qualifications of a wife, is a topic in which young men are deeply interested. It has been remarked — probably by some crusty old bachelor — that choosing a wife, is like buying a ticket in a lottery. AVere young men blind and deaf, or void of discrimination, this assertion might be true. But to those youth who see and hear, and who do not allow their imagination to run away with their judgment, the selection of a com- panion need not be a matter of great uncertainty. In choosing a wife, you should be solicitous to obtain one who is good and useful^ rather than one who is only beautiful and accomplished. Say what we will, in regard to beauty of person, and exercise as much caution as may be, against its attractions, still it will exercise all the influence it deserves. I do not caution you against select- ing a young woman who is handsome ; but I warn you against choosing a wife whose only attraction is beauty of person. The morning cloud and the early dew are not more fleeting, than comeliness of form and features. He who marries a lady * Moral Philosophy. 244 MARRIAGE. whose only desirable qualifications are a hand- some face and person, will in a few years, perceive that the object of his choice has become faded and plain ; and beauty, her only attraction, hav- ing fled, there is great danger that alienation of heartandalifeof wretchedness will ensue. While personal beauty will exercise an influence upon young men, I would urge you to seek for other qualifications of a less fleeting class ; and if you do not observe them in the female who attracts your attention, beware of an union with her. If a man marries a doll because it is a doll, he must attribute it to his own weakness, if he is doomed to discover that his companion possesses no other attractions hut those of a doll I You should also beware of any undue influence from useless accomplishments. A young lady may dance gracefully, sing delightfully, execute music skilfully, and have at her tongue's end the adventures of the heroes and heroines of all the popular novels of the day, and yet if she possesses a sour disposition, an irascible temper, a cold, ungenerous heart, and is ignorant of domestic du- ties, she would make a poor and profitless com- panion. Such ladies, "May do very well for maiJens or aunts, But, believe me, they'll never make wives." ** There's many a good wife that can neither sing nor dance well." " I am an old fellow," says the poet Cowper, in one of his letters to Hurdis, " but MARRIAGE. '245 I had once my dancing days as you have now ; yet I never could find that I could learn half so much of a w^oman's character by dancing with her, as by conversing with her at home, when I could observe her behavior at the table, at the fireside, and in all the trying circumstances of domestic life. We cire all good when we are pleased ; but she is the good woman who wants not the fiddle to sweeten her." A ball-room, a party, or the church, are poor places to select a wife. The fairest appearances are there put forth ; but you know not the faults and imperfections in mind, in disposition and habits, which they may covejr. — The old proverb wisely says — " If thou desirest a wife, choose her on a Saturday, rather than on a Sunday." A few familiar visits Avhen the object of your attention is engaged in domestic affairs and has no expectation of seeing you, will afford a clearer view of her qualities and habits, than years of intimacy under other circumstances. — You should endeavor to conceive, if possible, what will be the disposition, the habits, the character, of your intended companion, a few years hence, when she will have been tried in the severe school of experience and domestic cares. If you have reason to apprehend that her qualities will not be as valuable and attractive then, as now, you had better abandon, at once, all idea of connexion with her — for marriage with such an one, is far more likely to be fruitful of evil than of good. 1 246 MARRIAGE. Young men should not look for perfection in the female sex, either in beauty of person, or in disposition, or mind. This would not be gener- ous or reasonable — perfection dwells not in mor- tal frames. But there are a few valuable and all- important characteristics, which every young man should be satisfied dwell in the female whom he selects for his companion. 1. She should be wV^woMS. Virtue is the basis upon which all other valuable female qualities mast rest. Women who are virtuous, although lacking in many other desirable qualifications, may still be valuable and worthy. But when virtue is Wanting, the foundation of worth is removed, and no other qualification can atone for its absence. 2. She should have an agreeable disposition and an even temper. " This is a very difficult thing to ascertain beforehand. Smiles are cheap ; they are easily put on for the occasion. By a good temper, I do not mean an easy temper, a serenity which nothing disturbs ; for that is a mark of la- :^iness. Sullenness, if you be not too blind to perceive it, is a temper to be avoided by all means. A sullen man is bad enough ; what, then, must be a sullen woman, and that woman a wife ; a con- stant inmate, a companioli day and night. But if you have your eyes, and look sharp, you will discover symptoms of this if it unhappily exist. She will at some time or other, show it to some one of the family ; or, perhaps, towards yourself; MARRIAGE. 247 Tind you may be quite sure that in this respect, marriage will not mend her."* Good disposition and even temper are important accompaniments to virtue. For although your intended wife may be virtuous and industrious, yet if she has a sour, morose disposition and an irascible temper, the probability is great, that you will live unhappily together. But if she has a kind, pleasant, benevo- lent disposition and a well governed temper, your prospect is fair, of enjoying a peaceable ^nd agree- able home. 3. She should possess an enlightened mind — ■ or, at least, a mind that eagerly seeks for useful information. It is well known that the mother «ows the first seeds of knowledge in the minds of her offspring. How important that she_should be qualified to discharge this office in a beneficial manner. Her mind should possess clear views, not only in relation to general knowledge, but especially upon the subject of religion and of mo- ral duties. It is extremely unfortunate to marry a young woman who is destitute of correct reli- gious impressions, and especially one who has no inclination to seek for light upon this important subject. Such an one, would be peculiarly ex- posed to the thraldom of bigotry and fanaticism, and your domestic peace would be liable to be em- bittered by the deleterious influences of religious ^ Guide.. 248 MARRrAGir. error. See, then, that the object of your choice possesses a sound mind — one that is anxious to ac- quire a fund of valuable knowledge, and is capable of appreciating the worth cf pure morality and of enlightened views of the Gospel of the Saviour. 4. She should be industrious. A wife destitute of industry, is little better than a drone or a block. Whatever may be your circumstances, an indus- trious companion will be far more valuable, than one who prefers to eat the bread of idleness. — They had a correct view of this subject anciently. In Proverbs, it is said of a virtuous or industrious woman — " She will do good and not evil, all the days of her life. She seeketh wool and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands." And from the neatness of his apparel, it is said, " h^r husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land." Seek for a young woman, who, instead of devising ways and means to squan- der your property in useless dress and extravagant display, will endeavor, by industry, prudence and economy, to assist you in securing a suitable com- petency for life — one who will indeed, be " a help- meet" for you. If a young lady spends the greater part of her time in languishing over a novel, or drumming upon the piano, or " spinning street- yarn" to indulge in idle gossip, beware of making her your companion — she is lacking m one of the most important characteristics of a good wife— Yi^. industry. MARRIAGE. 249 5. She should be well versed in domestic econo- my. " Without a knowledge and love of domes- tic concerns, the wife even of a peer, is of but little value. It was the fashion in former times, for ladies to understand a great deal about these things ; and it would be very hard to make me believe that it did not tend to promote the inte- rests and honor of their husbands." Young men should be very cautious on this point. They should never knowingly be joined in wedlock to a female who is ignorant of the domestic affairs of a family. Even though there may be no necessity of engaging in them constantly herself, still it is important for her to know how they should be transacted, in order that her household may be conducted in a successful and economical man- ner. With an ignorant wife and ignorant servants, your domestic concerns will soon be in a lamenta- ble condition, and you will suffer in comfort as well as in interest. Many other valuable characteristics of a good wife, might be enumerated, but these must suffice. If you obtain a companion who is virtuous, of a gentle disposition and even temper, who possesses a well informed and tractable mind, is industrious and well versed in domestic economy — you will secure one of the richest of earthly blessings — she will be a jewel above value. Her features may be plain, her complexion may not be fair — but what are these but fleeting shadows that disappear 250 MARRIAGE. with the few days of youth. " Beauty in woman is like the flowers in Spring ; but virtue is hke the 3_taKs of heaven." Personal beauty is hable to be destroyed by the first frost of sickness ; but if your chosen one possess the quahties I have enume- rated, she is adorned with a beauty, which, in- stead of fading and disappearing, will grow bright- er and lovelier with advancing age, and sweeten all your domestic experience. 3*f;i ■vA&iliV A VOICE TO YOUNG LADIES. CHAPTER I. INTRODUCTION. The condition of woman, and the estimation in which she is held by the other sex, is a true in- dex of the state of civihzation in every country. Wherever Christianity diffuses its divine influ- ences^ — wherever the pages of literature, of sci- ence, and of the arts, are unfolded for the perusal of the great mass of the people, there woman is honored, her rights are respected, her value ap- preciated, her worthiness assented to — there she is the companion of man, and not his slave ; the object of his confidence and love, and not the in- strument of his despotic pleasure — there she is acknowledged an intellectual and moral being, capable of competing Avith the masculine mind in the acquisition of those attainments that adorn and elevate human nature. But in those lands where the light of Christianity has never shone — where the arts and sciences are known only to a small extent, and where mental and moral dark- ness cover the people — woman is a degraded me- nial, looked upon by man, as only fitted to per- form the drudgery of life, and to do his bidding. 254 INTRODUCTION. To perceive the truth of these remarks, it is only necessary to survey the present condition of woman, in different pOitions of the earth. In Eu- rope and America, where Christianity, civiliza- tion, and science diffuse their mingled influences, woman holds her highest rank, the native purity and lovehness of her quaUties shine out, and her talents and capabilities are developed to a degree hitherto unknown in the annals of time. But contemplate her condition in other sections of the globe. Wherever the darkness of ignorance reigns in its most complete triumph, there woman is plunged in her deepest degradation. In Per- sia and Hindostan, in Turkey, in Georgia and Circassia, in Chma and the Loo-Choo Islands, while her condition is better than in many other parts of the world, it is still far inferior in every valuable consideration, to her station in Christian nations. She is worshipped, it is true, as an idol, in some of those countries ; but the emotion arises no higher than admiration of personal beauty ; she commands no respect for virtue, in- telligence, and well-developed intellect. The immoralities of Mahometanism and Paganism, together with the unnatural institution of polyga- 'my, unjustly rob her of her rights, her influence, and the dearest enjoyments of life. She is made the subject of barter and sale, " and her beauty, and sometimes her ability to labor, are made to contribute to the purposes of avarice and INTRODUCTION. 255 gain." In the islands of South America, in the Indian Archipelago, in Australia and Polyne- sia, in the Pelew, Society, Friendly, and Sand- wich Islands, among the savages in the two con- tinents of America, and in all Africa, woman is the servile dependent and slave of man — the ob- ject of his tyranny and oppression — compelled to pel form the severest labors, and to drag out a miserable existence, subject to the caprice and whim of her lord and master. Such is a brief survey of the condition of wo- man, throughout the world. The fair daughters of America can not be too thankful, that a kind Providence has cast their lot in this favored hemis- phere, where they are blessed with privileges, and surrounded by advantages, of inestimable value. The circumstances of the female sex, in what are termed civilized countries, have experienced material changes, at different periods of the world. In the first ages of the Roman Republic, the con- dition of woman was little better than that of a slave. She was confined exclusively to the labor of the household, and was subject entirely to the rule of her husband, who held even her Kfe at his command. In after ages, however, as civilization advanced, the Romans estimated the female cha- racter more highly, and conferred many superior advantages upon the sex. But when the deep ignorance of "the dark ages" enveloped the civ- ilized world, and enveloped in its murky folds, re- 256 INTRODUCTION. ligion, literature, and science, the rights of the female were involved and lost in the common ruin. > Her condition again became as deplorable as at any former period of time. But, after a lapse of many centuries, when Christianity emerged from the long night of darkness, and civilization once more began to polish society, a most remarkable change in the condition of woman commenced. From a state of abject servitude and bondage, she suddenly became exalted to the highest degree, under the influence of that romantic chivalry, which then reigned throughout Christendom. She was considered a being scarcely pertaining to earth, but was vi^orshipped as a superior spirit ; and haughty knights and brave cavaliers, devoted their lives to the defence of her character and honor. Poets celebrated her praises in strains of admiring enthusiasm, and the wandering trouba- dour sang of her dazzling loveliness and the witchery of her influence. This chivalrous devo- tion to woman, which elevated her as far above her real merits, as she was before depressed be- neath them, continued for several centuries. But at length it began to wane under the influence of advancing knowledge and information, until it finally received its death-blow in the inimitable caricature of Don Quixotte. This celebrated work held up the knight-errantry of those ages, in a light so surpassingly ridiculous, that it van- ished as by enchantment. ^ INTRODUCTION. 257 From that time, woman began to be viewed in a proper light, and her real value to be appreciated. While the beauty of her person had lost the en- chanting power it formerly possessed, the beauty of her intellect, the purity of her heart, the kind- ness of her disposition, the depth of her aifections, and the valuable attainments she began to deve- lope, gave her an influence, not so dazzling, but far more extensive and enduring. It was perceiv- ed that females possessed minds as well as men — that they had been endowed by the Creator with the same faculties, and that they were capable of high attainment in every department of human knowledge. This well-grounded respect for the real excels lences of woman, has continued to increase to the present day ; and the female sex in Chrjstenr dom, now holds a higher and nobler rank than at any former period. Females are now justly cele? brated as authors, musicians, and artists — they have become distinguished to an extent that would formerly have been considered impossible, in eveiy branch of science and general literature. As the capabilities of their minds are more and more developed, the higher do they j'ise iq the es- timation of the other sex, and the more are they deemed worthy to become,' not only their compan- ions, but their assistants and counsellors. And although the matrons of our country, have not cJjosen representatives to assemble in conclave at 17 258 INTRODUCTION. Washiftgtony to be consulted by Congress on the affairs of the nation, as was once proposed by an eminent female writer, yet, that their station in society is an honorable one, and that their condi- tion and advantages are immensely superior to those enjoyed by females in other portions of the globe, can not but be acknowledged. It is true, there are men to be found who think lightly of the whole female sex, and who pretend to doubt their virtue and their ability to acquire extensive knowledge. But such individually, it will invariably be perceived, are either of an un- generous, selfish, misanthropic, cynical disposi- tion, or have mingled only with the degraded and abandoned of the sex. These men should have lived a few centuries past, rather than in tlie pre- sent age, to have their views comport with the general sentiment. It is not reasonable to look for perfection in woman. There are those of her sex, who are unprincipled and dissolute, precisely as there are such among men. But females sel- dom, if ever, become depraved until made so by i man's superior depravity. It is as inconsistent f and ungenerous to contend, that the entire female sex should be suspected on account of the frail- ■ ties of some of their number, as to condemn the whole male race as thieves and robbers, because a few of them, comparatively, have been guilty of these crimes. The sneering^nuendoes in which some men indulge, respecting female virtue, INTRODtTCTION, 250 should be met by the frowns of every individual of honor, as a base attempt to calumniate the better part of our race-^especially should ladies themselves discountenance such men, and avoi^ all connection or association with them. Com- pare the females of this country, as a body, with the males, and every candid mind will acknowl- edge, that among the former there is to be found far more purity, virtue, and modesty, far more kindness, benevolence, and loveliness of disposi- tion, than among the latter. Those who decry the purity of woman, should be aware of the in- fluence of such conduct. They should know that female virtue is the standard that regulates public morals, to a great degree, and that the ef- forts which they make to destroy that virtue, is a blow struck at the welfare of the whole commu- nity ; for the purity and morality of both sexes rise or fall together. The degradation of woman involves the corruption of man, and is the fruitful source of wretchedness to both. Instead, there- fore, of deriding the morals of woman, every en- lightened and honorable man, who values the im- provement and exaltation of his race, will rather approbate, encourage, and cherish female virtue and excellence— will be pleased rather to observe it obtaining extension and stability, than to exert himself to destroy it ! " When man shall be just to her nature, then will he have less cause to cen- sure ; for woman will have fewer faults to deserve ^60 INTRODUCTION. censure. Her moral taste, refined and elevated by the perceptions of her intellect, will then pre- sent her to his view, as a manifestation of a supe- rior nature — a copy worthy its original — worthy his confidence, companionship, and love." CHAPTER II. FEMALE INFLUENCE. Prom the intimate connection that exists be- tween the two sexes, and from the rank which females occupy in Christian countries, it is evi- dent that their influp-nce in this age, is both ex- tensive and powerful. In ancient days, the influ- ence of woman, though comparatively small when contrasted with its present sway, was not unknown. Anacreon, the lyric poet of Ionia, thus sang :— "Nature imparts her gifts to all; And every creature, large or small, That frolics in the sea or strand, Receives some favors at her hand. X- -A- * * * * To man. more bountifully kind, She gave the nobler powers of mind j And woman, too, was not forgot; Both grace and beauty are her lot, Whose potent influence will prevail When wisdom, wit and weapons fail." The influence of woman commences with man's existence, and throughout his whole career, how- ever diversified, he is never dissolved from it- commencing at the cradle, it terminates only at the grave. The domestic circle is its fountain 262 FEMALE INFIiUENCE. head, from whence its streams flow throughout all the various ramifications of society. Domes- tic life is woman's proper sphere. There her pe- culiar qualities and powers are developed— there she commences the exercise of that sway, which, for good or evil, is sensibly felt in the world at large — there she begins those lessons which will affect those to whom they are addressed, either beneficially or injuriously, while earthly life shall endure — there she first puts into operation, that invisible, yet enduring power, by which she sways to an immense extent, the fate of our race — -there she commences twining around the hearts of the sterner sex, those minute and lasting coj'ds, which hold them, in a great degree, to an assimilation to her own character. The domestic circle is the home of woman, where she the most fully evinces her useful and valuable qualifications, and appears the most lovely and enchanting. *' A family is society in miniature — home is its location— wo- man its presiding spirit — and whatever destroys its primary features, must disturb the tranquillity of its joys, introduce evil into its atmosphere of good, inflict the worst of miseries, not only on her, but on all its members, and affect the whole commu- nity of which it forms a part."* Who has not experienced the influence of wo- man t Who has not been charmed by the viva- * Ladies' Magazine. :fem;ale influence. 263 city of her intellect — enraptured by the sparkling of her genius, and filled with admiration by the modesty of deportment and simplicity of manners, v/hich so pre-eminently distinguish her from the other sex ? And whose heart has not been wtING THE MANNERS. 293 who is a proficient in all the accomplishments of the age, is repulsive and disgusting, when exhi- biting an immodest demeanor. In connection with this subject, there is a prac- tice against which I can not avoid cautioning young ladies. I refer to public " fairs," or auc- tions — one of those modern schemes in which la- dies have been induced to engage, to filch money from community. In these " fairs," young wo- men present themselves to the gaze of a miscel- laneous multitude, as public traffickers ; and every device is put into execution, to draw "the filthy lucre" from the pockets of gentlemen. Is it not evident, that on these occasions, many ladies place more dependence upon a display of their charms and the fascination of their manners, to obtain money, than upon the real value of the ar- ticles exposed for sale ? These " fairs" could, with more propriety, be termed " public marts for the display of female arts and fascinations."— These public exhibitions — these scenes of ban- tering and trickery — require in the ladies engaged in them, a boldness, a brazen confidence, a mas- culine air and manner, little according with that retiring modesty, that sensitive delicacy, so pre- eminently becoming in woman ! I would caution young ladies against this public display of their persons — this practice of extorting and begging money from the male sex. It has an indecorous appearance, and its tendency upon their modesty |894 FORMING THE MANNERS. and innate purity of heart, must be any thing but salutary. I am aware that these schemes are ge- nerally got up under the ostensible name of charii- ty. But who does not know that there are other, apd more commendable and appropriate ways, in which ladies can exert themselves in the cause of true benevolence, without violating that deli- cacy which is the crowning charm of their nature ? Gentleness is another necessary ingredient in the manners of the lady. A harsh, headstrong disposition, is peculiarly unbecoming in woman ; it gives a masculine cast to her character, which is far from being agreeable. Superior talents and elegant accomplishments, are entirely nugatory, unless accompanied by a gentle, docile disposi- tion. Gentleness is peculiarly a v/omanly endow- nient. It imparls a sweetness, an attraction, to the whole character, that is truly prepossessing. Young ladies can not be too cautious in regard to their deportment towards their associates of the male sex. In this respect, there are two ex- tremes to be avoided — a forward, coquetish fami- liarity, on the one hand, and a prudish, affected reserve, on the other. To shun both these ex- trepaes, and occupy that medium ground which is dictated by propriety, is that peculiar province of woman, in which her own good sense must be her director. You should, however, be aware, that the conversation and manners of young men in your presence, will depend much upon your TORMING THE MANNERS. 295 own tastes. Yon kave no inconsiderable power in causing their demeanor toward you to be agreeable. If, as has been remarked in another chapter, their language or deportment is not such as you would have it, much of the blame can be attached to yourselves ; because you have the remedy in your own hands^ By withdrawing from their presence, or by a firm, decided repri- mand, you can show your displeasure, and the evil is remedied. For, believe me, when young men ascertain your prmciples and tastes, they will studiously endeavor to conform to them, if they desire to frequent your company. Never aspire after the name of a " belle." Young ladies of this character, may be followed by a crowd of flatterers for a season ; but they are utterly incapable of inspiring that true affection which is so requisite to the peace and happiness of woman. They are despised by their own sex, and distrusted by the other. And after reigning for a season, they generally throw themselves away on some senseless fop, incapable of cherish- ing true esteem, to pass with him a wretched life. " Men of loose morals or impertinent behavior, must always be avoided ; or, if at any time you are obliged to be in their company, you must keep them at a distance by cold civility. But in regard to those gentlemen with whom your pa^ rents or guardians think it proper for you to asso- ciate, aijd who give no offence by their niaEiners, 2§6 FORMING THE MANNERS. to them behave with the same frankness and sim- plicity as if they were of your own sex. If you have natural modesty, you will never transgress its bounds whilst you converse with a man, as one rational creature with another. You should en- deavor to distinguish real esteem and love from idle gallantry and unmeaning fine speeches. The slighter notice you take of these last, the better ; but the first must be treated with seriousness and well-bred sincerity — not giving the least encour- agement you do not mean, nor assuming airs of contempt, where it is not deserved."* The subject of female manners can not be bet- ter summed up, than in the words of a late wri- ter, who thus speaks of Mrs. Hannah More, the celebrated English authoress : — " It was my pri- vilege, a few years ago, to make a visit to the re- sidence of this distinguished female ; a visit which I have ever since regarded as among the happiest incidents of my life. At that time she numbered more than four score years ; but the vigor of her intellect was scarcely at all impaired. In her manners she united the dignity and refinement of the court, with the most exquisite urbanity and gentleness, which the female character, in its loveliest forms, ever exhibited. She impressed me continually with a high sense of the intellec- tual and moral qualities by which she was distin- *Young Lady's Own Book. FORMING ti4e manners. 297 guished, but still left me as unconstrained as if I had been conversing with my beloved child. There was an air of graceful and unaffected ease ; an instinctive regard to the most delicate proprie- ties of social intercourse — a readiness to commu- nicate, and yet a desire to listen— the dignity of conscious merit, united with the humility of the devoted Christian — in short, there was such an assemblage of intellectual and moral excellences beaming forth in every expression, and look, and attitude, that I could scarcely conceive of a more perfect exhibition of human character." CHAPTER V THE HABITS. Habit exercises a most powerful sway over hu- man actions. It is a chain that is insidiously winding itself around us, and binding us to virtue or vice — to principles that will lead to prosperity and peace, or to practices which will involve us in infamy and wretchedness. With our existence commence our habits ; and in exact ratio with our bodies do they increase in strength and power. The character of the habits depends entirely upon circumstances, the kind of instruction to which we have been subjected, and the nature of the in- fluences exercised over us. Habits formed in in- fancy and childhood, can easily be corrected and moulded into the desired channels ; but those fixed upon us at maturity, it is extremely difficult and often impossible to eradicate, or even to modify to any great extent. Youth, theiefore, when the judgment has become sufficiently developed to meditate seriously upon those subjects that per^ THE HABITS. 299 tain to our welfare, is a season peculiarly well fitted for the formation of those habits which we would have influence us through life. Let a pro- per foundation be laid in youth — let the habits both of body and of mind, be examined and cor- rected — let those that are deleterious be expung- ed, and those that are good be added — and the beneficial fruits of this labor, will be experienced through life. Good habits should be esteemed as valuable friends. They will assist you in every good thought and deed ; and they not only impart their own grateful fruits, but they possess the most valuable tendencies — purifying the mind and leading it gently in the paths of virtue and pro- priety. One good habit opens the door for the introduction of anothei — and as they increase in number, they all increase in power, in influence and durability. But you should always look upon bad habits as your enemies. They oppose your enjoyment and prosperity ; and just so far as their influence extends, to the same degree will you be involved in wretchedness and ignominy. One bad habit will not remain satisfied in possession of your mind. Its deleterious influence v/ill not only directly affect your enjoyments, but will be con- tinually exerted to call in another evil habit, and another, until they become a multitude, gaining gradually an entire contiol over you. And re- member, that as your bad habits increase in nuni- 300 THE HABITS. ber, they also increase in strength and depravity, until they finally plunge their victim into the depths of wretchedness. You should, hence, be extremely cautious not to acquire even one habit that is of a demoralizing or injurious character; for you can resist the encroachments of one, with far greater success, than to delay until it is rein- forced by a multitude. Strike down the first of these foes, however feeble it may appear, and then you may be able to resist the host in its rear ; but admit a few of the vanguard, and they will exert themselves to bind your higher powers, and intro- duce all their evil companions. Allow me to direct your attention to a few of the habits indispensably necessary to the pros- perity of young ladies. Industry. -^The benefits of industry are mani- fold. You were made for industrious activity. This is evident from the construction of your bo- dies. For what purpose were joints, and sinews, and muscles, given to you, but for exercise ? By a proper use of them, you will secure health and its enjoyments ; but if you allow them to remain almost wholly inactive, the consequences will be painful diseases and early decay. Every thing in nature's works exhibits industry. The earth ne- ver wearies in its diurnal and annual revolutions ; the rapid wind, the falling rain, the rushing rivu- let, the billowy ocean, all exhibit ceaseless indus- try. And animals of every species, display an THE HABITS. 301 activity in accordance with their construction and wants. Even the vegetable kingdom is filled with industry — " See dying vegetables life sustain, See life dissolving, vegetate again ; All forms that perish, other forms supply." By what rule is the human race exempted from sharing in this universal rndustry ? Those who look upon occupation and labor as evils, are evi- dently ignorant of their own construction and na- ture. A slight acquaintance with the principles of physiology, will instruct you, that without bodily exercise, you can not experience the high blessing of health. If you arrest the course of the pure gushing stream, and cause its waters to stagnate, how soon it becomes filmy and nau- seous — a green slime gathers on its surface, and noxious insects breed in its bosom ! And thus it is with the human body. Let it remain inactive and dormant — let its muscles and sinews be but seldom and slightly exercised — cramp and cir- cumscribe its powers and energies, and debility and sickness ere long ensue. This is, evidently, the reason why so many people of wealth (espe- cially females) are afflicted with lingering diseases. Looking upon industrious occupation as degrad- ing and unnecessary, they Indulge in slothful and misnamed ease; and when the bitter effect of their folly comes upon them — when the pamper- ed body is filled with disease and pain, they per- 302 The habits. haps murmur at tlie decrees of Providence. But the blame can not be attached to Providence. The Creator formed the human race with capa- bihties of great enjoyment ; and if they fail pro- perly to exercise these capacities, the deficiency in their pleasure will be of their own procuring. And it is in vain to resort to nostrums to build up an artificial health. Having been lost by lux- ury and slothfulness, health can not be regained but by temperance and an industrious employ- ment. It is peculiarly necessary that young women should have much exercise. It developes their frames, strengthens their constitutions, and gives the freshness of health lo all their bodily organs, and the glow of beauty to their countenances. It is a lack of industrious occupation, that gives paleness to the features, and brings disease and early dissolution to the bodies of so many females. There is no trait in a young lady more useful and admirable, than industry. It is a high recom- mendation to the favor of those whose approba- tion is desirable. But how reprehensible, how repulsive and disgusting, is indolence in a young woman. She who loiters away her time over a novel, or in idle gossip, while, perhaps, her aged mother is overloaded with the affairs of the house- hold, is marked by community. No one can respect or admire her. While she continues a slave to indolence, she is the most useless object THE itABITS. 303 oh earth ! Utterly incapable of usefulness, or of conferring any valuable benefit upon her fellow- beings, she is a burthen to herself and to those with whom she is connected. If you would enjoy health and retain beauty — if you would secure esteem and affection- — if you would be useful to yourself and the world — you must be industrious. Let your circumstances be what they may, industry is inseparably connected with your happiness. You should acquire the habit of being constantly employed in some use- ful manner, and should frequently engage in those occupations which call into exercise your bodily strength and activity. A female writer remarks : " While the most delicate effects of the needle, rank high among accomplishments, its necessary departments aie not beneath the notice of the most refined young lady. To keep her own wardrobe perfectly in order, to pay just regard to economy and to the comfort of the poor, will in- duce her to obtain a knowledge of those inven- tions by which the various articles of apparel are repaired, modified, and renovated. True satis- faction and cheerfulness of spirits, are connected with these quiet and congenial pursuits. The generous pleasure of relieving a mother or a friend from the pressure of care, wiil sometimes induce young ladies to acquaint themselves with em- ployments which enable them, when the more complex duties of life devolve on them, to en- 304 Till'; iiAiiiTHi ]oy iiiid irnpnh llm dislif^hlH of .1 W(^II-onlored Iioiih;." " llruinn! Wliiit Iridy lovtiw ii i iiiiiy llm iVnit ol Ik^- (oolisli hiind- liOHM. Mow iiiaiiy fainilirH liavo hiM>n rcdiKuul IVoin a(llii(iiMM> lo llm doptlis oC poverty, entirely throiigli lack ol euMMioitiy intlmiwifo!. i •riiK IIAI5ITS. 305 Kconomy, in n ^roal al)l(! appear- ance of a slovcanst compound, prepare, and afterwards boil or bake a good pudding ? Canst make one of the hundred subordinate ornaments of thy fair person ? In short, tell us thy use in exis- tence, except to be contemplated as a pretty pic- ture.' And how long will any one be amused with the view of a picture, after having surveyed it a dozen times, unless it have a mind, a heart, and we may emphatically add, the perennial value of utility ?......! have no conception of a beauti- ful woman, or a fine man, in whose eye, in whose port, in whose whole expressio-n, this sentiment does not stand embodied — ' I am called by ray Creator to duties. I have employment on earth. My sterner but more enduring pleasures, are in discharging my duties.' Compare the sedate expression of this sentiment in the countenance of man or woman, when it is known to stand as the index of character, and the fact, with the me- retricious gaudiness of a simple, good-for-nothing belle, who disdains usefulness and employment — whose empire is a ball-room, and whose subjects, dandies as silly and as useless as herself. Who of the two, has most attractions for a man of 511 DOMESTIC DUTIEB. sfense ? Parents of thought, and virtue, and example, are called upon to look to this evil. Instead of training your sons to waste their time, as idle young gentlemen at large — instead of in- culcating on your daughters, that the incessant tinkling of a harpsichord, or a scornful and lady- like toss of the head, or dexterity in waltzing, are the chief requisites to make their way in life ; if you can find no better employment for the one, teach him the use of the grubbing-hoe, and learn the other to make up garments for your ser- !vants."* This language is deserving of great weight. The enjoyment and prosperity of woman, and those connected with her, depend much more upon her skill in domestic affairs, than many young ladies seem to imagine. And yoting men of sense and discretion, view this qualification as by no means a trifling one. Tiiey will take mea- sures to ascertain the amount of domestic know- ledge possessed by ladies, before they choose them for wives. They will not select " a painted butterfly, fit only for the sunny days of prosperi- ty," but fading into ill-tempered termagants v/hen adversities come, unfit for any of the useful du- ties of life. But more wisely, they will choose her who will become a help-mate indeed — one who can smile in adversity as well as in prosperi- ^Western Monthly Review. IDOMESTIC DUTIES. 315 ty— one who can co-operate in retaining what is already possessed, or if misfortune overtake, who can assist in regaining what has been lost. The young man who possesses the characteristics that are calculated to make the woman of his choice happy through life, so far from being captivated, Is disgusted by those ladies who are •' Bred only and completed to the taste Of fretful appetence— to sing — to dance — To dress, and to troll the tongue, and roll the eye- Yet empty of all good wherein consists Woman's domestic honor and chief grace." It requires but a slight glance into the affairs ;of community, to discover instances where the ignorance of the wife in domestic duties, has been one fruitful cause of involving the husband in bankruptcy. " A gay young person of nineteen, who had married a respectable tradesman, soon after she left a boarding-school, had a young friend in similar circumstances, who was lament- ing their mutual ignorance, and expressing her fears that they should be unable, little as they knew of domestic management, to acquit them- selves well in their new situations. ' Bear me,' was the reply, ' I do not trouble my head about that ; the maids will do these things.' It is al- most superfluous to record the sequel. Her hus- band was a bankrupt in two years ! So well had the maids managed for her !" How many cases of this description are constantly occurring ! 316 DOMESTIC DUTIES. Young ladies can not expect to be placed in any circumstances in this republic, which will justify them in remaining in ignorance of domes- tic duties. Suppose you are v/ealthy, and are confident you will continue so in the marriage state, still it is very important that you should be well skilled in domestic affairs. Without this knowledge, how entirely incompetent are you to preside over the affairs of a household. The im- positions, inconveniences, and vexations, under which you would labor, on account of your igno- rance, can easily be conceived. I do not pretend that every wife should herself engage in all the household transactions ; although industrious exercise in domestic occupations, can not fail to benefit the health. The amount and character of her labors, should be in accordance with her con- dition and tastes. But I insist that every wife, however affluent hei: circumstances, should be well versed in domestic duties— should know how they ought to he discharged ! In every house- hold there must be some head, to direct its ex- pences and superintend the whole economy of its domestic transactions. If the wife is capable of this station, and if she is sufficiently interested in the affairs of her husband, to be zealous in the discharge of its duties, every thing will be con- ducted in a proper manner. She will see that there is no extravagance, no unnecessary waste, and that every thing is done in the proper time DOMESTIC DUTIES. 317 and manner. And her reward for this devotion to the interests of her family, will be, not only a saving in a pecuniary point of view, but a com- fort, a satisfaction, an enjoyment, that can not be obtained in any other manner. But if the mis- tress of the household is ignorant of domestic af- fairs, or indifferent in regard to the manner in which they are discharged by others, she must trust all to domestics, who have no interest at stake. And when domestics perceive that the mistress is ignorant or regardless of the internal interests of the family, and that they are left to their own management, they are exceedingly lia- ble to relapse into wasteful and indolent habits, and order, economy, neatness, and comfort, will flee the devoted dwelling, to make room for con- fusion, prodigality, sloth, bankruptcy, and wretch- edness. These remarks have been made upon the sup- position that you will be surrounded by the ad- vantages of a fortune. But are you quite sure that you will marry wealthy ? Or, if so, are you fully assured thac you will continue in affluent circumstances through life ? The former may be considered doubtful, and the latter is doubly uncertain. How many who have entered the marriage state with fair prospects of continued wealth and prosperity, have, in a few years, and even in a few months, been reduced to poverty and want ! Were this to be your fate — and it is 318 DOMESTIC DUTIES. quite probable it will be experienced by some who peruse these lines — how much your misfortune would be increased by an ignorance of domestic duties. The convfort of your husband and family depending, in a great degree, upon your domes- tic exertions, and yet you entirely incapable of performing even the most common and necessary operations ! The husband would soon learn with sorrow, that although in affluence you might have been an agreeable companion, yet in adversity, when it became necessary for you to discharge the real duties of a wife and mother, you are most wretchedly deficient and useless. It can not be necessary to urge this subject to a greater extent. Every young lady possessing a moiety of discernment, must perceive the pro- priety of qualifying herself to discharge, faithfully and efficiently, all the duties that will hereafter devolve upon her. Domestic economy is as strictly a branch of female education, as any other study, and the best method of acquiring knoAv- ledge upon this subject, is by actual experience ! You may become familiar with the theory of housewifery, but without practice, it will be of little avail. " When you actually put your hand to the work, you will begin to learn ; but unless you put your hand to it frequently, and learn to think it no dishonor to engage in any thing apper- taining to the economy of a family, you can never expect to become an accomplished housekeeper." fioarEstic DUTIES. 319 f*arents should be peculiarly attecrtive to this subject. The mother very much mistakes the interest of her daughters — yea, she sins against that interest, and violates the maternal obliga- tions—in allowiug them to remain in ignorance of domestic duties. She should see that they are well skilled and perfected in these matters — for until they are so, they are unprepared for the matrimonial state. She should cause her daugh- ters to become acquainted with the kitchen and its affairs. The kitchen can be made as respecta- ble as the parlor, and much more useful. The hum of domestic industry, is a music as proper to be made by young ladies, as that from the piano — aiad it is far more valuable and healthful. I can not conceive why it is not as proper, as respecta- ble, as genteel, for the daughter to engage habit- ually and industriously in the domestic affairs of the household, as for the son to enter the me- chanic's shop, or tend behind the counter, or en- gage in the study of law, medicine, or divinity. Each are but preparing themselves for the dis- charge of those duties which, in after life, will devolve upon them. And the parents who neglect to qualify their daughters for those affairs in which they must hereafter engage or superin- tend, are as deficient in duty as those who fail to give their sons useful occupations. Let it, then, be your aim, young ladies, to be- come proficient and expert, by practice, in all the 320 DOMESTIC DUTIES. I domestic duties of a household. You will thus profitably employ your minds, minister to the health of your bodies, and become competent of making yourselves useful,, as well as agreeable, to those with whom you may hereafter be con- nected. CHAPTER VII. DRESS. It would appear from the admonitions of the Apostles Paul and Peter,* that the ladies, in their day, were in the habit of arraying and ornament- ing their persons, in a manner which these teach- ers deemed rather indecorous. As the precau- tions of the apostles, upon this subject, were not extended to men, it is supposed that females in ancient times, were more given to excess in dress, than the other sex. And it is sometimes thought that these distinctive characteristics of the sexes, continue to the present day. Without pretend- ing to decide upon this point, I must be permitted to say, that the time, attention, and expense, be- stowed on dress, by many females, gives no incon- siderable strength to the above supposition. But allowing it to be true, that females are more in- clined to excess in dress than men, the cause I suppose to exist, not so much in any greater de- gree of inherent vanity or love of display, as in the disparity in their condition and occupations. ^1 Tim. ii : 9 ; 1 Pet. iii : 3, 4. 21 322 DRESS. Men are engaged, the greater proportion of the time, in the business transactions, the stirring scenes of public life ; and their minds being thus absoibed, are not so liable to give much impor- tance to the trivial subject of dress. But females, being debarred, to a great extent, by the usages of society, from participating in those busy affairs that are of a public character, are thrown upon the immediate resources of the imagination, to supply this deficiency. And, moreover, believing their prosperity depends much upon their exterior appearance, they have been compelled, as it were, to allow dress to form an important item in their occupation and their thoughts. That due attention should be given to dress by females, and that, in this manner, by a j adicious display of correct taste, they can improve their appearance and personal attractions, is indisputa- bly true. But ladies should know, if they are not already aware of it, that there is such a thing as intemperance in dress ! — that, like every other blessing of Providence, when dress is indulged in to excess, when the love of it degenerates into a passion, it becomes an evil, entailing misfortune and wretchedness. Excess is intemperance. And that ladies sometimes dress to excess, can not be doubted by those who are blessed with sight. Many evils arise from an excessive love of dress. It absorbs the mind to the neglect of useful avo- cations. Young ladies would do well to remem- DRESS. 323 ber that they were not created solely to dress and adorn their persons. There are duties, ardent, responsible duties, which will devolve upon them in the several stations and relationships they will be called to occupy. To be enabled to discharge them faithfully, it is necessary that you should bestow much study, reflection, and forethought upon them. But how can this be done, when the attention is wholly absorbed by dress ? The young lady who is wholly intent on adorning her person, is very liable to neglect the more impor- tant work of cultivating the mind. It may be no- ticed, as a general rule, that such ladies think little, and care less, about mental improvement — so that while without, all may be dazzling and perfect, within there is nought but a moral and mental waste, where lurks many an insidious foe to happiness. An excessive love for dress, leads to extrava- gance in other respects. The lady who deems it an object of the highest importance to float upon the very crest of the ebbing and flowing tide of fashion in dress, will imagine it essentially neces- sary that an equal style should be observed in all that pertains to her. If she enters the marriage state, houses, and furniture, and equipage, must correspond with dress, and she plunges into need- less expenditures, which often end in ruin. How many who have started in life with the fairest prospects, have speedily been brought to bank- 324 DRESS. ruptcy and poverty, by an inordinate love of dis- play ! An intemperate attachment to dress, is destruc- tive to health, as it invariably leads to a mode of dress, directly at war with the construction and wants of the human body. It is a fact no less shocking than true, that thousands of females in the United States, are annually hurried to an ear- ly grave, solely by those torturous improprie- ties in dress, which are dictated by fashion. Every well informed physician will bear witness to the correctness of this declaration. It is truly sur- prizing that young ladies, who possess the ordi- nary powers of reflection granted to rational be- ings, will deliberately persevere, in face of the startling, horrid array of facts before them, and contrary to the admonitions of the enlightened, the wise, aud the prudent, in dressing in such a manner as to undermine the most vigoroibs con- stitutions, induce painful diseases, and hasten premature death ! There is an infatuation in re- gard to this evil, that is wholly unacconntable.* If young ladies will not listen to the advice of friends, or the warning of physicians, I beg them to open an ear to that sepulchral voice which comes up from myriads of " the early dead," who have been consigned to the cold grave, by their ''The reader can not mistake the evil to which I refer, viz., tight lacing. DRESS. 325 miserable slavery to the cruelties of fashion ! The weekly bills of mortality throughout our country, display a record of the dissolution of multitudes of young and lovely beings, from dis- eases induced by improper dress, that should strike terror to those whose practice is biinging them to the same fate. It is melancholy to reflect how many who peruse these lines, will continue, for the sake of dressing themselves in conformity to the arbitrary laws of fashion, to brave the fright- ful catalogue of diseases, until death stares them in the face, and opens his icy arms to receive them in his embrace ! Allow me to ask the young lady whose eye is now resting here— are you one of this number ? I trust not. It would be too much like arraying yourself in bridal robes to go down to the company of the dead ! If you must injure your health — -if you must bring on death in the prime of life, I pray you do it in some good cause— in the cause of love, humanity, and duty — in a cause upon which you can look back with satisfaction, even in the struggles of death. Be entreated not to court the embraces of the " king of terrors," by a course s'o nearly suicidal as that which 1 am condemning ! Do I magnify the danger ? Ask your physician — ask the learn- ed physiologist— ask the dying — ask the dead ! Not the least surprizing thing in relation to this evil, is, that so many parents should look calmly on and behold their daughters committing this 3»26 DRESS. self-murder, without taking any decisive measures to prevent — yea, perhaps approving of it. Mothers often exhibit an ignorance, a carelessness, a fatui- ty, in this respect, that excites the astonishment and sorrow of the reflecting. They have a duty to discharge^ regarding the dress of their daugh- ters, which they can not neglect without incur- ring deep guilt. How many mothers, when ix is too late, when insidious disease is laying its pal- sying hand upon the life-springs of beloved daugh- ters, would sacrifice the wealth of the Indies, could they but recall them to the days of child- hood, and restore that health which has been de- stroyed by their infatuated blindness ! An inordinate love of dress, involves its victims in a servile bondage to the caprice of others. For whom do they dress ? — for whom do they expend time and money, and invite the approach of pov- erty and disease ? Not for themselves, surely — for when they are in retirement, all finery is laid aside.* No — they dress for others alone — for the public gaze — for the eyes of the multitude. They appear to feel bound by the most imperious ne- *rt would be well for young men to know, that not a few of those ladies who run to the greatest excess in their dress for public show, are the most slatternly and careless when in seclusion. To test the correctness of this re- mark, call upon them in some hour when they do not expect company, and a moment's contemplation will show, that display, and not neatness, is their ruling pas- sion. DRESS. 227 cessity, to sacrifice ease and comfort, and exert all their art to attract the attention of the throng. And in the fulfilment of this supposed obligation, they will exhibit an assiduity, a perseverance, which is unfoitunately wanting in the discharge of all the worthy and useful duties of life ! Is not this a state of dishonorable slavery to the whims of the thoughtless ? There is an anecdote so ap- propriate to this point, that I can not forbear re- lating it. " A priest of China sedulously followed a splendidly dressed mandarin through the streets, bowing and thanking him for his kindness. En^ raged at his pertinacity, the mandarin demanded what he meant 1 ' To thank you for the use of your rich dress and jewels,' was the calm reply, * Why,' said the astonished mandarin, ' I never loaned them to you.' ' No,' said the priest, ' but you have allowed me to look at them, which is all the enjoyment you can derive from them, except, perhaps, the pleasure of taking care of them, and that is a pleasure I do not covet.' " "But should we not follow the fashions of the day," exclaims the fair reader. Most certainly, so far as those fashions comport with good taste, modesty, economy, and health. But when they yiolate either of these requisites to female attrac- tions and usefulness, they should be rejected as decidedly as other practices of an immoral and unhealthful character ! What is fashion in dress, and whence does it emanate !? It is the yitiated 3?28 DRESS. taste of a few of the unprincipled dress-makers in France, who give it all its fluctuations and ex- travagance, solely to fill their cofters. Are Ame- rican ladies generally aware, that in this respect they have, to a great extent, become the dupes of Parisian dress-makers and milliners ? The prints and patterns which they despatch to this country, are not copied from the dress of ladies of high standing and good taste. They are devised by French raantua-makers, and sent to America for the purpose of keeping open here a market for their second-hand laces and cast-off tawdry. — These assertions are perfectly well founded. Mrs. Willard, a celebrated American lady, who travel- led a few years since in France, describing in her Foreign Journal, a well dressed French woman, who was ridiculing the " prints" prepared to be sent to this country, exclaims, " A thought struck me at that moment, which made me half weep. These figures, said 1 to myself, thus ridiculed by those who understand dress in perfection — by which the very milliners of Paris, who send them abroad, would not, for the sake of good taste, (modesty out of the question,) dress themselves — these are the very patterns by which my young and lovely countrywomen are making themselves up — the idols to which they sometimes sacrifice decency and propriety !" It is earnestly hoped that this deeply humiliating statement will have an influence to dampen the ardor of many of our DRESS. 329 ladies, in servilely imitating those foreign prints, with which our fashionable emporiums abound. Could those young ladies Avho imitate every extravagance in fashion, but be avs^arehow ridicu- lous and repulsive they frequently make them- selves appear to the eyes of those persons whose regard they would win, how differently would they conduct. " O wad some power the giftie gie us, To see oursels as others see us, / It wad frae moriie a blunder free us, And foolish notion." The most abandoned of the female sex, can and do flaunt in attire as gay and fashionable, as the respectable. Hence, young ladies can not be too often reminded, that dress is a worthless founda- tion upon which to base their claims to the respect and affection of gentlemen. Who, in these days, ever thinks of judging of the character of a lady by the fashion of hei habiliments? It v/ould be as uncertain a criterion as the color of her eye, or the height of her stature. By thiscriterion, the virtuous and the vicious can not be distinguished ; and if there was no other badge of excellency, all would be upon the same level ! Discreet and sensible young men never fall in love with dress — it has little or no influence in guiding their affec- tions. They do not look to the outward attire — which alike covers the good and the evil— to dis- cover the excellences of a lady, but to the intrin- sic moral and intellectual worth of the wearer. 330 DRESS. A well cultivated mind, a sweet, gentle disposi- tion, with a plain, simple garb, possess far more powerful attractions, than an ignorant mind and a perverse disposition, arrayed in all the finery that ever was invented by that most fertile in expedi- ents of all human soils, the imagination of a dress- maker. Never, therefore, dress with the expee-p tationof being esteemed by community, or loved by any, on account of the texture, shape, color, or expense of your attire. All anticipations of this character, can be entertained but to end in disappointment and chagrin. I would, by no means, influence young ladies t'O be negligent or indifferent in regard to dress. I would have them bestow upon it all the atten^ tion it properly deserves. It is the excess., the in- temperance in dress, and a servile bondage to the caprices of fashion, against which I Avould caution you. And I again warn you that you can not be too particular in so dressing as not to injure health. You should remember that you have lungs, and that to insure health, the chest must be permitted to expand without opposition, that the lungs may have free and full play. If you dress in such manner as to prevent the expansion of the chest and the full inflation of the lungs, unavoidable disease ensues, and early death fol- lows. Mothers should understand these facts, and should bear them in mind when superintend- ing the attiring of their daughters. DRESS. 331 Let your dress always comport with neatness, propriety, and economy. Never swerve from the dictates of these standards. Neatness will prevent you from arraying yourself in gewgaws and tinsel, and running after all the absurdities of fashion, and will dictate an adaptation of dress to you-r form, complexion, age, and circumstances. It will allow of no extremes, either in extravagance or oddity. It will teach those who are fair, that "beauty unadorned, is adorned the most," and those who are plain, that simplicity will add far more to thei*- attractions, than gaudy trappings. Dr. Johnson once remarked, that a certain lady was dressed the best of any he had ever seen ; for but a moment after having conversed with her, he could not recollect what she had on. That is, she had nothing odd, vain, or tinbecoraing in her attire. Propriety will forbid dressing in t?.ny man- ner that will violate that modesty which is the charm of your sex, or following any fashion that will undermine your constitution, or in the least degree injure your health. Economy will dictate the necessity of always dressing within your means ; and it will also show you the impropriety and deep folly of involving yourself, or any with whom you are connected, in debt, to array your body in useless and silly finery ! CHAPTER VIII. RECREATIONS. Many of the remarks addressed to young men, in regard to amusements, will also apply to la- dies — especially in respect to the excess into which human nature is liable to run. We love whatever is pleasing. This love induces a con- tinuance in those recreations which afford plea- sure ; and unless the reason is allowed to exer- cise due control, those practices will be persevered in, until they become sources of pain instead of happiness.- It is highly important that young la- dies should possess true views of the nature and design of the recreations proper for them ; as an ignorance or want of precaution on this point, has been a fruitful source of degradation and ruin to countless multitudes of their sex. What is recreation ? It is not slumber, or stu- por, or idleness ; but it is simply a change of em- ployment ! Recreation to the student, is to go out to exercise in the open air. But to the man whose body calls for much bodily exercise, it is ' a recreation to enter the student's library and RECREATIONS. 333 peruse his books. The young lady who engages constantly in needle-work, or any sedentary em- ployment, to find recreation, must enter upon some active occupation ; but she who is habitually employed in the stirring duties of domestic life, will find equal amusement in occasionally plying the industrious needle. The design of recreation is, by a change of posture and employment, to call into exercise portions of the body, and facul- ties of the mind, that were in repose, and to give rest to those that were active — health and vigor are the fruits of this change. When the brain of the scholar becomes weary, he should relmquish his mental struggle, and call into action the mus- cular powers of his body. But when the body of the laborer is exhausted with toil, he should rest from his toil, and call his mental faculties into labor, by reading or instructive conversation. Both will experience enjoyment, and be benefited by the change. But mark and remember, it is the change only that causes the enjoyment. When recreation of any character, is continued beyond a certain degree or duration, plainly indicated by reason, its nature changes, and it becomes a labor ^ instead of an amusement. This is a plain hint from nature, that all recreations in order to be valuable and beneficial, must be engaged in mo- derately and temperately. And I will here repeat, that to enjoy any amusement, young people must prepare themselves for it, by previous industry 334 RECREATIONS. and deprivation, of a charactei different from the recreation to be engaged in. From these remarks, it will be perceived that the gratification of the passions, is not the entire design and end of recreation. The healthy state both of body and mind, depend upon proper re- laxations and changes. Nature is rigid in her exactions in this respect ; and whoever violates them, must suffer that penalty of pain and disease which she affixes. Moderate and judicious re- creation, therefore, is not only proper, but is a duty which must be discharged, to insure health. But still there is danger, in a greater or lesser de- gree, always attending amusements. It is evident that many practices called recreations, are not such, properly speaking. Some of those prac- tices are plainly sinful, and should, consequently, be strictly avoided. Others are wrong, because they produce more injury than benefit — and others still, are dangerous, because although, perhaps, innocent in themselves, their tendency is to induce that excess which is evil. Permit me to cite your attention to a few of the most dangerous of those practices to which young ladies frequently resort for recreation. Dancing is one of the most fascinating amuse- ments of youth. It may be called nature's recrea- tion. The various species of beasts in the full tide of their happiness, gambol over the plain, and throw their bodies into fantastic shapes. Dancing RECREATIONS. 333 is a recreation resorted to by all nations. From the most polished circles of civilization, down to the wigwam of the savage, it exerts its " witching sway." In ancient days, and still among various nations of modern ages^ dancing was, and is, one of the amusements, in times of exultation and re- joicing. The Saviour mentions, that when the Prodigal Son returned, there was music and dancing. National dances were formerly engaged in, when celebrating important victories. When the Israelites had crossed the Red Sea in safety, we read that " Miriam the prophetess, the sister of Aaron, took a timbrel in her hand ; and all the women went out after her, with timbrels and dances." When Saul and David were retiirning from the slaughter of the Philistines, "the wo- men came out of all the cities of Israel, singing and dancing, to meet King Saul, with tabrets, with joy, and Avith instruments of music." Dan- cing was also a religious ceremony of rejoicing; When the Ark of the Lord was brought up to Jerusalem, David danced before it as it proceeded " with sound of the cornet, and with trumpets, and with cymbals, making a noise with psalteries and harps." In modern times, a portion of the Eastern Dervishes, and a sect of Friends, called '* Shakers," make dancing a part of their religious exercises. That dancing, when cultivated as an exercise, is proper and healthful, is undeniable. Such an 336 RECREATIONS. exercise for females especially, whose habits are usually sedentary, must be of a salutary charac- ter. But still, danciijg has become the source of great evil. As it is conducted in our own times, it usually causes much more injury than benefit. The intoxicating beverage usually drank — the unhealthy viands usually partaken of — the impro- per manner of dressing, which so confines the lungs, that when they require the most play, they have the least— the late hours, the over fatigue, and the exposure to cold and damp — all combine to make modern dancing assemblies the prolific sources of dissipation and disease. Such convo- cations should be condemned most decidedly, by all who are interested in the welfare of the young. I would most earnestly caution young ladies against attending them, or giving them their countenance. They are not justified by Scrip- ture, reason, or experience. But dancing in pri- vate circles, in the presence of friends and rela- tives, engaged in temperately, with proper pre- cautions, I consider an appropriate and healthful recreation. It is the abuse of this exercise, against which I would warn you. The good sense of every discreet young lady, aided by the advice of parents ox guardians, will instruct her as to the proper time and occasion, when she should engage in this recreation. Card-playing is often engaged in by young la- dies. Although this practice may not be so dele- RECREATIONS. 337 terious as dancing, under improper circumstances, still, young women can pass their time in some other manner, far more to their improvement, both in mind and manners. A lady at a card-table, always seems out of her proper place. There is something in its associations so masculine, so en- tirely opposed to womanly delicacy and propriety, that a female appears to step down from her appro- priate sphere, in engaging in game with cards. Referring you for further remarks on this sub- ject, to what I addressed to young men ; and also to what I there said on theatrical amusements^ 1 merely add, that those remarks will apply, with more impressive force to the young lady ; inas- much as female character is more delicate in public estimation, and her sensibility more refin- ed in fact, than that of the gentleman. I there- fore reiterate here, with renewed earnestness, all the warnings and remonstrances I have there ut- tered. There are many recreations in which young la- dies can engage, that are both proper and benefi- cial. All amusement should, if possible, be made instructive, as well as healthful. Exercise in open air, when the weather is favorable, is highly beneficial to females. And a walk through the fields, can be made to instruct the mind, as well as invigorate the body. A slight acquaintance with the principles of botany and geology, will enable you to obtain much amusement and in- 22 338 RECREATIONS. struction, in examining the class and nature of plants and flowers, and the structure and compo- sition of soils, stones, and rocks. The young la- dies of this country, are generally very deficient in giving themselves exercise ; and in this res- pect are far behind those of some foreign coun- tries. " The English girls, it is well known, will walk five or six miles with ease. They are never afraid of the air. They do not reason as our girls do, that to be pretty and ''interesting," they must be livid, pale, and consumptive ; and in or- der to be so, exclude themselves from the open air, from walks and parks. But they reason na- turally, that health is beauty, and that sickness is otherwise. English girls, it is said, are almost the only girls who climb up the sides of the Alps, or struggle ancle deep, up the ashes of Mount Vesuvius." ''How often," says Miss Wakefield, "has an anxiety for the delicacy of the complex- ion, or the apprehension of her being a romp, re- strained a girl from the indulgence of enjoying with any one, exercise in a sufficient degree to secure her from that feeble, sickly, languid state, v/hich frequrcntly renders her not only capricious, but helpless throughout the whole of her life." "Let the utmost attention be paid to the physi- cal education of females, not simply to their diet, temperance, and cleanliness, but to the practice of bodily exercise. Let them have such physi- cal recreation as shall be consistent with their RfiCRfiATlONS. 339 delicacy of sex, and as shall serve to procure for them vigorous constitutions and sound minds. Strengthen their physical powers, and you may then give energy to their intellects, brilliant tints of beauty to their persons, animation to their spi- rits, and grace to their manners."* Music is a recreation peculiarly appropriate to young ladies. I would have every young woman cultivate her taste for music. The Creator could have had no object in bestowing musical powers upon us, but that they should be developed and trained to execution. Music exercises the mind, and has a purifying and softening influence upon the disposition. This amusement, however, should not be permitted to interfere with the more vigorous recreations, or with the ordinary and useful occupations of life. Social parties are proper for young iadies.^ — They bring diflfe^rent minds, dispositions, and man- ners in contact, to the mutual benefit of all. The time at such parties, should not be frittered away in frivolous pursuits and idle conversation. Useful and interesting topics should be introduced, upon which the company can freely and pleasantly m- terchange their opinions. To instruct each other in desirable accomplishments and valuable infor- mation, should be the general object. * Address on Female Education, by Rev. Charier Bur- roughs. 340 RECREATIONS. It is hardly necessary to remark, that young women can find at hotne, many means of profita- ble recreation. Numberless little attentions and kindnesses to parents and friends — the instruction and improvement of younger brothers and sisters — perusing aloud some valuable publication for the edification of the family circle — all will afford the purest satisfaction and enjoyment. In fine, let your recreations always be characterized by deli- cacy, discretion, and moderation, and beneficial results of a corresponding character, will be your reward. i CHAPTER IX. MENTAL CULTIVATION. That female education has heretofore been la- mentably deficient, is a position which admits of not a doubt. In past ages woman has been kept in a state of almost entire ignorance, in regard to the most important branches of human attain- ment, and has been compelled, in a measure, to occupy her attention with the trivial matters of life. Without pretending to decide the contro- verted question, whether the gentler sex are capa- ble of rivalling man in the highest walks of lite- rature, still, I do not hesitate to say, that they are capable of making far greater advances in every branch of useful knowledge, than they have hith- erto done ; and also that they can equal the gene- rality of men in mental attainments, when placed m circumstances equally favorable. Indeed in modern days, many ladies have appeared as shin- ing lights in the literary world. And although they have not so generally grappled with the ab- struse sciences, yet in the lighter grades of litera- ture — in vivid descriptions of the gentlest, purest and noblest characteristics of human nature — in 342 MENTAL CULTIVATION. the bright pictures of the imagination — in chaste displays of taste and sentiment — in reproof, ad- monition and advice — they have not been surpass- ed by their male competitors. The names of More, Barbauld, Chapone, Aikin, Hamilton, Sew- ard, De Stael, Landon, Porter, Hemans, Edg- worth, and Martineau, in foreign lands, and of Sigourney, Leslie, Hale, Sedgwick, Stephens, Hentz, Gould, Ellet, Scott, Bodd, Edgarton, Broughton and Downer in our own country, will bear ample testimony to the high and beautiful capabilities of the female mind. Although female education, within the last half century, has been greatly improved, still it has not arrived at the perfection that is desirable. — The poor are engaged in such constant drudgery, as to be able to pay but little attention to mental cultivation, while the wealthy are frequently led' to neglect it, by attaching an undue importance to showy rather than useful accomplishments. Young ladies, as a class, are still too prone to at- tribute more consequence to the adorning of the outward person, than the cultivation of the moral and intellectual powers— -are too liable to imagine that their success in life, depends more upon beauty and accomplishments of person, than of mind. This belief many acquire, no doubt, from that fulsome flattery which is too generally be- stowed upon female personal beauty, by the other sex. Sq general is this practice, that meo of MENTAL CULTIVATION. 343 Otherwise good sense, will frequently lend their aid in perpetuating this idolatry to the fleeting charms of outward beauty, to the neglect of those qualities in woman that are truly valuable. This conduct leads females to overlook their mental capabilities, to deem it of little importance to ob- tain those qualifications of mind and of habit upon which their happiness and the enjoyments of those connected with them will so deeply depend through life, and induces them to turn their whole attention to those charms and accomplishments, which are as empty and useless as the floating bubble. Young ladies should summon sufficient dis- crimination to perceive the origin of this adula- tion. They should understand that those who indulge in extreme flattery of their personal beau- ty, either possess such ignorant and shallow minds, 4s really to believe what they say, that nothing is so valuable as the charms of form and feature— or, knowing better, they hypocritically express their admiration, under the supposition that you are so vain and weak as to be pleased by their empty homage ! In either case, they impugn your good sense, and are unworthy your confi- dence or respect. The attentions of the ignorant and of the hypocritical, should alike be discarded. I grant that personal beauty in a young lady, is an advantage ; and when united with a sweet 344 MENTAL CULTIVATlOJ?f« disposition and well cultivated mind, you have attractions that can not but win esteem. But I insist th-at loveliness of person without these valu- able qualifications, is a misfortune rather than a blessing. It will surround you by the utmost dangers — >by fascinations and allurements, from which, owing to the weakness of your moral and mental powers, you will escape with difficulty, if at all. And suppose that by beauty of person alone, you succeed in obtaming a companion for life : of what value can that man be, who has been at- tracted by your features or form, without deem- ing any other qualification worthy a thought? He connected himself with you for your beauty, and he loves your beauty only. And do you not per- ceive that when that beauty decays, as it inevita- bly must, under the influence of disease or age, his regard will wither with it, and that the after years of your life, must be spent amid vain regrets and unavailing repinings ? " We can not help remembering that the ordinary period of life is set at seventy years. The empire of beauty sel- dom lasts more than ten or fifteen. What is to sustain the beauty who has no other possession, in the dreary interval, when her roses have van- ished with her admirers, never to return ?" If, then, you have been favored with personal beauty, add to it virtuous principles and the charms of a well cultivated mind, and you can then duly im- prove the advantages placed within your reach. MENTAL CULTIVATION. 345 "It is an old remark, that the most beautiful women are not always the most fascinating. It may be added, I fear, that they are seldom so. The reason is obvious. They are apt to rely too much on their beauty ; or give themselves too many airs. Mere beauty ever was, and evei will be, a secondary thing, except with fools. The most fascinating women, generally speaking, are those that possess the finest powers of entertain- ing the mind. In a particular and attaching sense, they are those that can partake of the pleasures and pains of their friends in the liveliest and most devoted manner. Beauty is little without this. With it, she is indeed triumphant."* With the most plain and uninteresting features, you need not be without attractions. A well train- ed mind and a pleasant disposition, will put forth charms far more captivating to those who are capa- ble ofmaking you happy, and much more enduring than mere outward beauty. Although you may not attract immediate attention in first entering upon the stage of society, yet when your worth is fully appreciated, as it eventually will be, you will obtain a hold on the affections, that time can not annihilate. You will possess a loveliness which instead of being destroyed by sickness or time, will increase, and become brighter and brighter as age advances — securing to you, love, * Criticisms on Female Beauty. 346 MENTAL CULTIVATION. affection, peace and enjoyment, all your days. The man who is won by the attractions of your mind and disposition, is worthy of you in every respect, and will be capable of appreciating all those excellences of the heart which confer mu- tual happiness, " Knowledge, virtue and truth, are immortal. Time, age and death, can not touch them. Trust me, a plain young lady with a sound head and a well trained mind, and an amiable and well managed heart, will find some way to aim a sharper and surer shaft, and inflict a more incurable wound, than a mere flourishing belle, who has nothing to show but her dress and her person." Beauty of face and person, and splendor of dress, are not to be compared in value to a well cultivated mind. The one is as evanescent as the morning cloud or the early dew ; but the other is as enduring as the sparkling gem of the mine. " There is, and there can be, nothing beautiful, except in so far as it is associated with mind. Show me a woman who knows how to converse pleasantly, to give judicious counsel and exhibit discreet management — who has the ability to know what to say, and how to act on any given emer- gency — who understands how to economize her wit if she has it — ^who comprehends how the ut- terance of scandal distorts the countenance — whose passions and affections are regulated, and who possesses the intrinsic tenderness dud truth MENTAL CULTIVATION. 347 of the female character — and I will show you one who seems beautiful to me, whatever face she may happen to possess. It can not be repeated too often, that there is nothing truly beautiful hut mind' Ask a father which of his children he loves most, the pert and ignorant beautiful daughter, or the plain but sensible, docile and well instructed one ?" Ask an intelligent, worthy young man, with which of those two young ladies it gives him the great- est satisfaction to associate and converse, the one with handsome form and complexion, but with an empty, uncultivated mind, or her whose personal appearance is plain, but who is well instructed, and sensible ? " Ask husbands what points they most regard in their wives, their beauty, or their knowledge, amiability and good sense ? I repeat again, there is nothing beautiful hut mind ! If I were a poet, you should have it in metre and in song, that ?ipiony or a popjpy are as splendid flow- ers as the rose. But let the one and the other be worn in your bosom, and compare their fragrance and value at the end of a month. Knowledge compared to beauty, is the rose to the piony and poppy. In the family circle, and among those with whom we mix every day, the last thing of which we think, after seeing them a few times, is their personal beauty." Their worth is always estima- ted by their mental endowments and moral quali- ties. The witchcraft of personal beauty is soon dispelled by famiharity. Without attractive men- 348 MENTAL CULTIVATION. tai and moral characteristics, it is impossible to obtain the enduring aftections of any. " Exter- nal allurements are continually losing ; internal attractions are continually gaining. Sense, spirit, sweetness, are immortal. All besides, withers like the grass." When the mind is uncultivated and barren, in vain is displayed the brightest eye, the fairest face, and the sweetest smile. But even though the eye possesses little lustre, or the coun- tenance little beauty, a well endowed, well disci- plined mind, will elicit admiration and love. '•Miiul, mind nioiio, boar witness onrtk and heaven, The livings foiintuiii in itself contains or beauteous unil sublime ! Iforo hand iu hand Sit paramount Iho graces." These remarks might be much extended, but it can not be necessary. I trust enough has been said to awaken you to the importance of studying to adorn the mind, and of imparting to it those mental and moral qualities which are so attractive to the eyes of the discreet and enlightened. You should not allow your thoughts to dwell too much on beauty of person, outward ornaments, or showy accomplishments. A proper attention to these is allowable ; but make them not your principal study — neither rely u})on them as your chief at- tractions to win admiration or affection. Their influence can attract none but weak and worthless minds. *' Female loveliness can not be clothed in a more pleasing garb than that of knowledge. MENTAL CULTIVATION. 349 A female thus arrayed, is one of the most inter- esting objects — every eye rests upon her with pleasure — the learned and wise, the young and the aged of the opposite sex, delight in her socie- ty, and affix to her respect and admiration. Igno- rance and folly stand reproved in her presence ; and vice, in its bold career, shrinks abashed at her gaze. She moves the joy, the delight of the do- mestic circle ; she excites the praises, the admi- ration of the world. A female thus armed, thus equipped, is prepared to encounter every trial which this uncertain state may bring — to rise with proper elevation to the pinnacle of fortune, or sink with becoming fortitude, into the abyss of poverty — to attain with cheerful serenity, the highest bliss, or endure with patient firmness, the depths of wo." Young ladies should cultivate a taste for the acquisition of useful knowledge — al- ways selecting such subjects as will throw the most light upon the station you will probably oc- cupy, and the duties you will be called upon to discharge. In this manner you will lay a broad foundation, upon which you can reasonably rest the hope of experiencing much enjoyment through life. CHAPTER X. THE DISPOSITION. Situated as we are, in the midst of our fellow- beings, constantly mingling and holding inter- course with them, we are made dependent upon them, to no small extent, for the enjoyments of existence. But human nature, as developed in this life, is a strange medley of contradictions. Those faculties and propensities which the be- nevolent Author of our being conferred upon us for our benefit, frequently, from a neglect on our part of properly cultivating and controlling them, become the sources of unhappiness. Thus the social propensity — the desire to mingle with our race, which all human kind possess to a high de- gree — becomes the source of enjoyment or of wretchedness, as we duly understand and proper- ly cultivate its incentives, or neglect it, and allow it to be controlled solely by the unrestrained pas- sions. This social principle is possessed, in a peculiar manner, by females. They are, there- fore, deeply interested in its operations and influ- ences ; and it becomes a subject of no small im- portance to them, to know in what manner its highest enjoyments can be obtained. THE DISPOSITION. 351 In your intercourse with your fellow-beings, the pleasure to be deriv^ed depends entirely upon the disposition which you cherish towards them. If you respect, esteem, and love them, your satis- faction in their society will be of a high degree. But if you envy, hate, or in any way dislike them, their presence becomes the source of unhappi- ness ; and even the thought of them, whenever it occurs, gives you disagreeable sensations. It is thus evident, that certain dispositions or feelings cherished towards others, are, in their influences, disagreed.ble and painful, while others of a differ- eot character, impart satisfaction and enjoyment. It is my object in this chapter, to notice briefly a few of the most prominent of these dispositions, of both classes. Envy is a disposition that frequently usurps a place in the mind. Its influences are of a degra- ding and painful character. Envy never imparted a pleasurable emotion to the human bosom, and never can — it is as contrary to its nature, as for ice to give out heat. It is not only a sinful dis- position, but one of the most foolish that the young can well entertain. Will envying the ap- pearance, condition, or possessions of any indivi- dual, give you the desired object ? — will it confer upon you wealth, or influence, or splendid dress- es, or any qualification, either moral, mental, or bodily ? Will it efloct any change for the better in your circumstances, even the most trifling ? 352 THE DISPOSlTlONi Why, then, permit this painful and malignant disposition to enter your bosom ? Why make your heart the den of a scorpion, whose every sting is inflicted upon your own happiness ? Why voluntarily permit an enemy to enter your mind, and drive out those true friends, peace and con- tentment ? Do you inquire how to deter this feeling from taking possession of your heart, or how to cast it out when once therein ? I answer, by reflection. Reflection is a light that will reveal the true na- ture of this hydra, and convince you of the incon- sistency of cherishing it. Reflection will satisfy you that there is not so much to be envied in the world, as'many would seem to believe. To ascer- tain the rea»l influences upon their possessors, of those circumstances or possessions that are the most common cause of envy, we must apply to those who have experienced them. Ask those who have participated in all the enjoyments that power, wealth, and splendor can bestow, if they should be envied by those in more ordinary cir- cumstances. Abdoulrahman III, was one of the most powerful and prosperous of the Spanish kings of the Arabian race. Victorious and weal- thy—surrounded by splendor and magnificence — every one imagined theit he must be the happiest of mortals. But listen to his own account of his enjoyments, after reigning fifty years x " From the time I ascended the throne, I marked every THE DISPOSITION. 353 day that afforded me true pleasure, and those days amounted to foivrieen /" To which he adds — " Mortals ! consider what this world is, and how little we ought to rely upon its pleasures." Pope Adrian VI, who arose from a poor barge- builder, to the Papal throne, desired the follow- ing inscription to be placed upon his tomb :— • "Heie lies Adrian VI, who deemed no misfor- tune which happened to him in life, so great, as his being called to govern." From these and many additional instances that might be cited, you perceive how entirely inadequate is power, or popularity, or wealth, or splendor, to confer happmess. Why, then, should you envy those who possess them ? Remember that gay dresses and splendid equipages, are but glittering cover- ings which conceal, in general, even more wretch- edness than tattered garments. Be content, then, with your condition. An honest, virtuous, and benevolent heart, will confer upon you a greater amount of pure happiness, than all the wealth of the world ! If your associates possess enlighten- ed minds and agreeable manners— if they are res- pected and loved by community-— envy them not, but do that which is much better : endeavor to equal them in their good qualifications, and you will soon share with them in the general respect. Jealousy is ano^iher disposition which you should be careful to avoid. Jealousy is justly termed "the green-eyed monster." It is a bitter 23 354 THE DISPOSITION. foe to human happiness — it coils in the bosom hke the serpent, and chokes the fountain of true enjoyment. If you would be blessed with peace, never permit jealousy to enter your mind. It will not only make you unhappy, but will cause you to do and say many things improper and ridiculous. Never be jealous that others are re- ceiving more attention and lespect than yourself. If they are deserving of it, you should be willing that they should receive what they are justly en- titled to ; but if they are not worthy such atten- tions, you may be assured they can not long com- mand them. And in the meantime, study to make yourself agreeable, by an exhibition of the genuine excellences of the female mind and dis- position, and you will have no cause of jealousy towards others. If your affections are placed upon an individual worthy of them, he vi^ill be careful to give you no cause for jealousy. But if his conduct is of that improper character as to afford reasonable cause for jealousy, it is a cer- tain indication that he is not worthy your confi- dence or love, and you can not too soon break off all intercourse with him. There is, hence, no justification for harboring emotions of jealousy. They are painful, unbecoming, derogatory to your character, and should be spurned from €very female heart. Young ladies should also avoid indulging ha- tred, anger, revenge, and all emotions of a like THE DISPOSITION. 355 character. These are the baser passions of the human heart — exceedingly reprehensible in man, but in woman disgusting and horrible. What will more entirely eclipse the loveliness of the countenance, than a scowl of hatred, or a storm of anger ! And not only so, but how completely wretched do they cause those to become who in- dulge them ! Every improper disposition che- rished towards another, infuses a poison into your peace and happiness — so that by indulging them, you but injure yourself. The most effectual method of destroying evil dispositions, is by cultivating good ones. Would you be respected, and esteemed, and loved ? — would you render yourself agreeable and pleas- ing ? — would you be received into the circle of your associates, with the approving smile of friendship and approbation ? There is but one way to accomplish this, and that is, by adding to a virtuous character, a kind, friendly, and bene- volent disposition. How much these add to the attractions of a beautiful form and features ! and how engaging do they cause the most plain and ordinary to appear, who exhibit them in their conduct ! If you desire to be unesteemed, dis- liked, avoided — if you desire to be filled with anxiety and wretchedness — then you should be ill- tempered, morose, unkind, and uncharitable. But if you would secure the friendship and good will of others— -if you would open in your own bosom 356 THE DISPOSITION. a fountain of unfailing satisfaction — exhibit to- wards those with whom you associate, kindness, condescension, gentleness, forbearance, and even- ness of temper, and you can not fail of accom- plishing your object. What can be more capti- vating in a young lady, than a constant exhibition of kind emotions towards all around her — than a disposition to oblige, to make herself useful to her friends and all connected with her, and to dis- play a placid sweetness of demeanor, that no cir- cumstance can ruffle or disturb ? And how en- chantingly lovely is a young woman overflowing with pity and benevolence for the poor and un- fortunate ! A lady who has a cold, unfeeling heart — who can look unmoved upon sorrow, and want, and distress, while she is surrounded by comfort and plenty — is an anomaly ! AVith such a disposition, of what avail are her fair complex- ion, and faultless features, and symraetixcal form? Every lovely attribute, when covering a heart of stone, becomes repulsive and abhorrent to the generous, and noble mind. She is a " scentless flower, which shall blossom without esteem, and fall without regret !" But the female whose heart is susceptible of emotions of pity and gene- rosity — who is eager to assuage misfortunes and relieve distress — adds a crowning excellency to her attractions, that can not fail to win admiration and esteem. If young ladies would promote their own prosperity and happiness, they must look THE DISPOSITION. 357 well to the dispositions they cherish. Let them eradicate all that is evil, and cultivate whatever is virtuous and good — let them exhibit "affability of manners, gentleness of demeanor, attention to the courtesies of life, compassion towards all who suffer, whether high or lov/, a kind construction of all the words and actions of their fellow-crea- tures, and patient forbearance, or generous for- giveness towards those who have grieved or in- jured them," and they will thus lay a safe and sure foundation for peace and happiness. CHAPTER XI. CONVERSATION. It is a prevalent supposition that ladies possess the faculty of "ready utterance," in a higher de- gree, as a general rule, than the other sex. This position is strengthened, when we consider the fluency and ease with which females, when unem- barrassed, communicate their thoughts. But this fluency of speech, when unguarded and un- restrained, becomes, not unfrequently, the fruit- ful source of evil. The character and prospects of ladies, depend much upon the matter and the manner of their conversation. To be ena- bled to select proper and useful subjects for conversation, and to express themselves in an ap- propriate and pleasant manner, are accomplish- ments which every young female should strive to acquire, and the possession of which, will tend greatly to her advantage in society. It is true, nature is diversified in her gifts in this respect, as well as in others. To some she gives a greater aptitude or capability of expressing their ideas in a fluent and graceful manner — while others find it difficult to speak in a mode satisfac- CONVERSATION. 359 tory to themselves, or pleasing to others. But as appropriateness in conversation, depends not more upon the manner of speaking, than upon the character of the thoughts expressed, nature frequently equahzes her endowments, by giving unto those who are " slow and lame of speech," clear, strong, and expanded minds— so that the deficiency in their utterance, is more than coun- terbalanced by the value of the sentiments they express. However, the faculty of conversation is capable of great improvement. By proper appli- cation and attention, the most deficient in this respect, can learn, not only the proper subjects of conversation, but also to speak in an appropriate and agreeable manner. That there are evils growing out of an igno- rance upon this subject, admits of not a doubt. How much unhappiness has been caused by im- proper language. Who has not experienced the evils flov/ing from even one " unruly tongue" in the neighborhood ? How many misunderstand- ings, difficulties, feuds, animosities — how much contention, and discord, and warring — have been caused by " the little member," when it is " full of deadly poison !" Not only has society expe- rienced these evils, but they have extended them- selves to kingdoms. Nations have been involved in long and bloody wars, originating solely in the utterance of a harsh expression, or an unguarded sentence. 360 CONVERSATION. My suggestions upon this subject must neces- sarily be of a general character, relating more particularly to public intercourse, than to conver- sation with intimate friends and relatives in the pri- vate family circle. Although in the latter case, the spirit, and in most instances the letter, of the re- marks that follow, should be strictly observed. In conversation, guard against raising your voice to a high key. Young ladies fre quently over- look this precaution. In the hilarity of their spi- rits, they are liable to indulge in a volu me of voice, which, were they alone, would startle them. The improprieties of this practice, must . be evident. It is highly indelicate. There is a certain mo- desty and reserve which young ladies can no more overstep with p ropriety, in their language and voice, than in their personal manners. The practice of loud speaking, is not only indelicate, but it disturbs others. What can be more disa- greeable than for 2i female voice to be raised to the alto key, and stun the rest of the company into silence. All eyes are rivetted upon its owner, and in many a discreet mind, she becomes an ob- ject of censure and dislike. Neither should loud conversation in the public street, be indulged in— a habit which some young ladies think quite al- lowable and appropriate. But it is an offence against delicacy and propriety. Young women of commendable modesty^ will be cautious how they attract the gaze of the throng in the public CONVERSATION. 361 Streets, by their loud speech, or rude behavior. You can not be too circumspect in your demean- or in pubUc. An indiscretion, either in word or action exhibited there, is noticed by many, who will set it down much to your disadvantage. Equally to be avoided is an affected, lisping, or drawling manner of speaking. By some, this is considered exceedingly polished and lady-like. But in this they greatly err. The real lady stu- dies to speak naturally^ and that is ever gracefully. An affected tone or pronunciation, evinces a weak mind — so weak, indeed, as to resort to this outward mincing, to establish pretensions to gen- tility, instead of exhibiting those emotions of kindness and urbanity, which are the unfailing indications of genuine politeness. You greatly mistake, if you imagine your claims to the cha- racter of a lady, can be established by affectation. This, so far from gaining you the esteem and respect of the listeners, will make you appear in- sipid and simple— devoid of taste and good sense. Many young ladies, by vain affectation in their language and manners, have often created dis- gust, where they might otherwise have gained respect. I repeat, in your conversation, speak in your natural tone of voice, and with a pronuncia- tion clear, distinct, and correct. Lexicographers, as well as people of different countries and com- niunities, vary in regard to the rules of pronun- ciation. Johnson and Walker, are both deficient 362 CONVERSATION. in many respects. Webster is more chaste and natural, and in this country, is rapidly becoming the general standard of pronunciation. Be upon your guard against engrossing too much of the conversation in company. When you reflect how often the most guarded speak in a manner which they afterwards regret — how of- ten they converse on subjects, and relate circum- stances, and circulate reports that are improper — you Avill perceive the dangers which surround the unguarded and talkative ; and you will also per- ceive the necessity of allowing the judgment to hold with firm grasp, the reigns of the tongue, that nothing of an injudicious character may be uttered. In company, if you can not speak to the purpose — if your tongue is liable to run away with your sense — the less you say, the better. But if you can converse in a judicious and sensi- ble manner, you still should avoid speaking too much, because others may have a desire to ex- press their sentiments, as well as yourself. Few people have an inclination to remain silent by the hour, to listen to your words, however proper they may be ; but all desire to bear a part in the general flow of social conversation. I would not recommend an entire reserve, a total silence — this would be as much an extreme as volubility — though not so dangerous. Every young woman should exercise her judgment in this respect, and take such part in the general conversation, as cir» CONVERSATION. 363 cumstances and propriety dictate. However, " it were far better to leave a circle wishing, from what you have actually said, that you had said more, than out of patience with you for having talked so much." Young ladies should avoid conversing even in whispers, in assemblies convened for the worship of God, or for any public lecture. This practice is highly reprehensible. It disturbs both the speaker and. the audience — especially those in your immediate vicinity. There is no greater manifestation of a lack of politeness, than this. When I behold young people, on such occasions, inattentive to the subjects that should engross their entire attention, and engaged in frequent whisperings, I instantly set them down as youth extremely ill bred, and entirely destitute of the most ordinary rules of decorum ! Never allow yourself to speak evil of another, without the most ample evidence of their guilt. Mankind, in their best estate, are liable to err. There is enough, therefore, to be said of the real defects of ourselves as well as others, without at- tributing evil conduct to people, of which they are not guilty. You should be slow to believe reports detrimental to the good name of your neighbor, and still slower in spreading them abroad to the world. I urge you not to counte- nance or cover up vice — this would be very im- proper. But I would have you very cautious 364 CONVERSATIOI?. about believing or circulating statements detri- mental to the reputation of another, until you are fully and perfectly satisfied that they are guilty of the misdemeanor alleged against them.-^ Neither withhold praise wherever it is due. It is a mark of a selfish and vain spirit, never to allow that any but yourself or your particular friends, possess any talent, acquirement, or worth. But it is an indication of a generous and noble mind, to give credit wherever it is due — to acknowledge the valuable qualities displayed even by an enemy. Do not allow yourself to indulge in ridiculing any, in regard to their dress or appearance — espe- cially the poor and the aged. This would evince an emptiness of mind, and a coldness of heart, deserving of deep reproof. The young lady who indulges in this practice, is unworthy of affection or respect. Having no heart to feel — no sense of propriety to direct — whoever becomes connected with her, will most certainly and keenly feel the evils flowing from these deficiencies. In compa- ny, you should avoid making any one the subject of much raillery, or the butt of witticisms, or en- deavoring to turn the laugh upon them. Those who indulge in these practices, often unthink- ingly gain enemies, when their only object was to cause merriment. And although it can hardly be necessary, yet I would caution young ladies against expressing themselves in coarse language, or interlarding their conversation with degrading CONVERSATION. 365 epithets, or illustrating their views with low com- parisons. I need not say that all these practices are opposed to female delicacy and propriety. In conversation, always endeavor to be agreea- ble, pleasant, and sensible. These are no small additions to the attractions of a young lady. In company it is not inappropriate to engage occa- sionally in grave and serious conversation, yet, generally, the topics should be of a cheerful cha- racter, as the object of assembling in company, is to confer mutual enjo yment and satisfaction. But in allowing the conversation to be cheerful, care should be taken not to permit it to degenerate into the frivolous or ridiculous. The amusing and instructive should both be blended together, so as equally to interest and improve those who converse and those who listen. It is time wasted to engage in conversation that has not a tendency to enlighten and improve. To have your conversation interesting to others, it is necessary that you possess a well cultivated and well stored mind. Without this pre-requisite, there is danger that it will be insipid and irksome to the discriminating. In despite of all precau- tion, the true qualities of the mind will develope themselves in a free interchange of thought. While the weakness and imbecility, the selfish- ness and vanity, of the ignorant and untrained mind, will become clearly visible- — on the other hand, the disciphne and cultivation, the intrinsic 366 CONVERSATION. excellences and valuable acquirements of the enlightened understanding, will, without effort, brightly shine forth, and add beauty and interest to the possessor. This should be an additional inducement to influence young women to turn much of their attention to mental cultivation. You will beware of egotism, as much as possi- ble. Let self, with its importance, its accom- plishments, and all its wonderful achievements, be forgotten in the desire either to please, interest, or instruct those with whom you converse, or in a disposition to learn from their superior wisdom or experience, wherein you was before deficient. Avoid the appearance of pedantry. Your ta- lents and acquirements should not be devoted to display alone, but to the instruction and edifica- tion of those with whom you associate. When- ever, therefore, you converse with those whose attainments are limited, instead of makmg a pom- pous display of your knowledge, and speaking in a strain above their comprehension, interspersed with hackneyed expressions, or quotations from a foreign language, or v/ith scraps of poetry, you should accommodate yourself to their capacities, and speak in a plain, simple, instructive manner, which they can understand and appreciate. It is one of the characteristics of a discriminating and enlightened mind, to know how to accommodate itself to the condition, employment, and capaci- ties of those with whom it converses, so that it can CONVERSATION. 367 impart and receive information, by an exchange of thought with the most ignorant. Always give the strictest adherence to truth. How dark is the stain cast upon the character of the young lady, who is known to deviate from the straight line of truth. Veracity is one of the brightest jewels of the female character. Never allow it to be sullied under any pretence whatever. But by a strict adherence to truth in all cases, erect a strong pillar for the upholding of a spot- less reputation. Some young ladies, who reside in our cities and villages, when visiting their friends in the country, often exhibit a great lack of discretion and propriety. While speaking lightly, and per- haps contemptuously, of the plain appearance, dress, or habits of the people of the country, the constant themes of their conversation, are the fashions, amusements, and the superior refine- ment of a city life. Every thing in city or village is extolled, while all in the country is cried out against, as outlandish and vulgar. At social par- ties, and often at church, their whole time is spent in pointing out, and making remarks upon, the alleged boorish appearance and manners of the people. It is tjruly surprising that young la- dies who indulge in these practices, do not per- ceive their impropriety — do not perceive that this conduct shows an entire lack of good breeding, of genuine politeness and gentility — do not per- 368 CONVERSATION. ceive how evident they make it appear, that those very country people w^hom they ridicule as so far removed from fashion, are immensely above them in every valuable and useful qualification, in every trait of real urbanity and politeness.* Such young ladies should be aware that in this manner they make themselves perfectly ridiculous, and that in the eyes of the discriminating, they are the ones who are deficient in the most valuable quali- fications of ladies. In visiting the country, you should go as learners, and not as instructors — for there are many valuable lessons, not only in in- dustry, economy and taste, but also in the rales of propriety and good manners, that you can learn in the country, and profitably put into prac- tice when you return. And you should avoid pressing upon your country friends, your peculiar viev/s of fashion and manners, which too often originate in the degrading corruptions of the town — and, in general, allude to them no farther than to answer inquiries relating to them. Fash- ions deeply bordering on indelicacy, are some- times tolerated by the vitiated taste of the city ; but those who should adopt them where the purer and more modest taste of the country pre- vails, would be justly subjected to ridicule and scorn. *See definition of politeness, in " A Voice to Youth," chapter viii. MARRIAGE. 385 be to subject yourself, in all human proba- bility, to poverty and all its accompanying evils. If he possesses no property at the commence- ment of matrimonial life, you may be assured there is little probability of his thriving after- wards. The young man who, under ordinary circumstances, has not sufficient industry and en- ergy to acquire some property before marriage, will not be likely to do so with the cares and ex- pences of a family upon him. Even if he has some possessions, there is no certainty that /he xvill long retain them. He who is too indolent to acquire property, will be too negligent to retain, for any great length of time, that which he may already possess. Be equally cautious not to marry a spendthrift. The same, or worse consequences will follow this indiscretion, as m the instance last referred to. The spendthrift may be industrious — people of this character often are — but of what avail is his industry, if he squanders the fruit of his exertions in some frivolous and useless manner, as fast as it accumulates? He may be wealthy ; but the riches of such a man are as the early dew before the rays of the sun — they will speedily vanish away, and leave poverty and wretchedness be- hind—the more keenly felt, because of former prosperity. And, besides, the spendthrift, in his extravagance, is hable to, and usually does, ac- 25 386 MARRIAGE. quire vicious habits, which accelerate the ruin and seal the misery of himself and his family. You can ascertain without difficulty, the charac- ter of a young man, in this respect. If he ex- pends all his income in vain amusements, while he is single, you may be quite certain he will continue a course as bad, or even worse, after en- tering the marriage state. " I have in my eye at this moment, an accomplished female, (and it were easy to adduce a thousand similar cases,) who married a man of vast wealth, but of prodi- gal habits ; and years have passed away since that immense fortune has gone to the winds ; and the last remains of it were squandered amidst the tears, and in spite of the tender and earnest ex- postulations of a suffering family. And now, if I should look for that once rejoicing and apparently foriunate bride, I should go to an obscure cabin of wretchedness, and should find her laboring with her own hands, to provide bread for her more than orphan children, and she would tell me a tale of wo, which, however familiar to me, would make me sit down and weep. This same man, who has plunged her and her little ones into so much wretchedness, possesses many naturally amiable qualities, and is gifted with enviable pow- ers of mind, but, unhappily, in early life, he be- came a spendthrift ; and on this rock the fortunes of himself and of his family were wrecked. If you should ever give yourself to a man of similar MARRIAGE. 387 character, you need not be disappointed if you should experience a similar destiny."* Never marry an intemperate man. This is a precaution that young ladies can not be too care- ful to observe. How many, by neglecting this admonition, have been plunged into the deepest misery ! Of all the evils that afflict the marriage state, intemperance stands in the front rank. It transforms the kind and loving husband into a sa- vage brute — the tender and affectionate father into an unfeeling tyrant. Oh ! how much evil, how much dark, cruel wretchedness, has been carried into the happiest family circles, by intemperance ! It has cast the mildew of despair upon the fairest, brightest hopes of life ! It has caused shivering poverty to creep in, with its rags, its hunger, and want, where formerly all was plenty, comfort, and peace. What must be the wretchedness of that family where the cheek of the wife pales with dread, and the children flee from the house, or cling tremblingly to the mother for protection, when the inebriated husband and father reels to- ward his miserable home ! In the phrenzy of intoxication, he beats his defenceless and heart- broken wife, tramples upon his innocent offspring, and demolishes whatever is valuable within his reach, unmindful alike of tears, and entreaties, and supplications. If there is any thing that can * Daughter's Own Book, 388 MARRIAGE » approach the character of the fabled demon, it is man in the wild paroxysms of drunkenness ! Young woman, I beg you, listen to me ! As you value your peace and happiness — as you va- lue respectability and good standing in commu- nity — form a firm, uneffaceable determination, in the deep recesses of your soul, never, never to become the companion of a man given to intem- perance I Yea, I beseech you to go still farther, and firmly resolve not to marry a man who is ac- customed, habitually, to drink intoxicating liquors as a beverage, of whatever character, or however temperately or discreetly ! The great danger is, you have no assurance, and can have none, that he who drinks moderately now, will not hereafter become involved in the deepest abyss of intempe- rance. He is travelling the very way, and ihe only way, that leads to it — the way which all in- temperate men pursued in their downward career. In what possible manner (except by total absti- nence) can you become satisfied that he will not, ere long, be one among their wretched number ! You should not accept, nor give any countenance to the addresses of a '•^drinking''' young man. Even after you have become " engaged," if you ascertain that your intended companion is given to habits of intemperance, you would be justified by every equitable law, human and divine, in im- mediately dissolving the engagement. But I can not enlarge upon this important topic. Young MARRIAGE. 389 ladies of good sense, must perceive that their safety and happiness demand that they should avoid all connexion with men of intemperate ha« bits. Better, infinitely better, remain in " single blessedness" all your days, than to place yourself in a condition to be made wretched by a drunken husband ! I think ii not improper or unnecessary, that young ladies should take into consideration the health of those who would become united to them. I know of no good reason why a young woman should be connected with a man who, from constitutional causes, is, or probably soon will be,* incapacitated to superintend a family. You should endeavor to exercise proper precau- tion upon this point. It is true, all are liable to disease, and its unhappy consequences ; and all I would caution you respecting this subject, is, to act prudently in regard to placing your affections upon an individual who is laboring under a con- stitutional and incurable disease, which would probably be transmitted to his offspring.* In selecting a husband, you should not be too fastidious in regard to his personal beauty, his oc- cupation, or the amount of his property. These are unimportant circumstances, provided all other qualifications abound. He may be plain in per- son, yet beautiful in moral and mental accom- ^See Combe's Constitution of Man. ^^^ MARRIAGE, plishments. He may be poor in property, yet rich in affection, kindness, and all those sodal qualifications that minister so highly to domestic happiness— and as to the want of property, it is an evil that can, in general, soon be removed by in- dustry and economy. His occupation may be of a common order, but if it is proper and useful, it will not lessen your respect in the eyes of the en- lightened and discreet. While there are many qualifications that would be pleasing in a husband, there are some indis- pensably requisite. He should be engaged in some laudable occupation or profession— he should be industrious, economical, honest— of good habits, of a kind and benevolent disposition, strictly mo- ral and temperate, and should possess an unwa- vering belief in the doctrines and precepts of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. He who is destitute of any of these qualifications, should be avoided. But with a young man who possesses these cha- lacteristics, you may rationally anticipate a happy union, and a life of as much enjoyment as is usu- ally allotted to mortals in this mutable world. This " Voice" to the Young, now ceases. If its tones have, in any degree, enlightened the minds of my readers, infused a virtuous influence mto their hearts, or opened their eyes to dangers that surround them, the object for which it has been sounded, is accomplished. CHAPTER XII. SELr-GOVERNMENT. The iniportance of self-government, to young ladies, is so perfectly evident, that it is unneces- sary to enter upon a labored argument to prove a point so clear. Having endowed us with all the powers and faculties necessary for our enjoyment and usefulness, our Creator enjoins it upon us to bring these capabilities into a proper activity, and to allow the mental and moral powers to exercise that guidance and control, for which they are so peculiarly adapted. Self-government, therefore, is a necessary duty, devolving upon us from our constitution and condition. A faithful discharge of this duty, is one of the most effectual means of securing the highest earthly prosperity and en- joyment ; but its neglect will as effectually in- volve you in the deepest wretchedness. Know thyself, and control thyself, are two injunctions fruitful in blessings. If self-government is neces- sary for young men, how much more important is its exercise to young women !— how absolutely essential to their character and general safety ! Without its controlling influence, you may ima- 24 ^^^ SELF-GOVERJVMENtr. gme yourself free, but you are in imminent dan^ ger of a miserable vassalage, a degrading bondage to every evil principle, every debasing passion. Without it, although you may, for a season, re- mam respectable, yet you have no assurance that ruin and wretchedness will not speedily overtake you. Indeed, without a firm and decided self- government, it is impossible for you long to retain a good character, and a common proportion of happiness. The basis of strict self-government, rests upon a knowledge of your own nature, the character of your wants, and the proper manner of supplying them, and an enlightened understandmg of the moral and religious instructions of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. A greater or less air.ount of igno- rance upon these points, will, in a proportionate degree, mvolve you in a debasing thraldom to the animal propensities, and dim the lustre of your higher nature. But become enlightened upon these points, and to the same extent will you be enabled to restrain and control the various pas- sions which pertain to your bodily constitution. A perfect self-government is no trivial achieve- ment. " He that is master of his own spirit, is a hero indeed." But it is much easier to obtain this victory in youth, than in more advanced life. If you commence early a habitual self-control, the passions are easily brought under proper re- straint, and you can govern them through life SELF-GOVERNMENT. 371 without difficulty. But delay until they have ob- tained an ascendancy over your higher nature, and you can not succeed in reducing them to the control of the mental and moral faculties, without an arduous and afflicting struggle. There need be no ignorance respecting the manner of exercis- ing and enforcmg self-control ; for nature has af- forded you every needed requisite^ The propen- sities prompt to a certain action, and urge its comraission. The mental faculties enable you to discover the real nature of the act, and point to the consequences which will flow from it — and the moral powers will indicate its character, whether right or wrong, good or evil. Now, self- ffovernment consists in abiding by, and enforcmg, the decisions of the mental and moral powers. But by giving way to the promptings of the pro- pensities, in violation to the dictatesof the higher faculties, you destroy self-control, and unfailingly become involved in wretchedness. From these reflections, you perceive that self- government should first be exercised upon the thoughts. Indeed, I may safely say, this is its entire field of operations. Few, if any, actions, good or bad, are performed, that are not the sub- ject of a mental process— so that the action par- takes of the character of the thought. To have the actions right, then, the thoughts must be pure— and to obtain this purity, the thoughts must be under the guidance of the mental and 372 SELF-GOVERNMENT. moral powers, and above the swaying influence of the passions. Many seem to imagine it unneces- sary to exercise any control over the thoughts, but allow them the entire range of the imagina- tion. " Why restrain the thoughts ?" says one " thoughts are harmless." Virtuous thoughts are harmless ; but all thoughts are not of this character. Those of a vicious nature, will some- times obtrude upon the mind, and when allowed to remain there unchecked, they become the pri- mary elements of sinful actions. But if you ex- ercise a proper self-government, and with firmness expel immediately such thoughts, when they en- ter the mental abode, they will then have no op- portunity to obtain a foot-hold, or to exert their poisoning and destructive influences. In previous chapters, I have noticed several subjects that might legitimately come under the head of self-government. As it is unnecessary to repeat them, it only remains for me to call your attention, briefly, to a few additional points, m regard to which it is necessary to exercise self- control. Petulance is a failing strictly to be guarded against. This is an unhappy state of mind, to which young ladies sometimes give way. To be- come initated at every little circumstance which is not perfectly agreeable— to permit the flash of anger to overspread the countenance at every trifling off'ence— will destroy the influence of the SELF-GOVERNMENT. 373 loveliest personal attractions, and cause her who exhibits this irrascible temper, to become disa- greeable to herself and offensive to others. These outbreakings of pet'ulance, throw you entirely off your guard, and while the fit is on, render you almost as destitute of the guidance of reason, as the monomaniac. Yet you are as accountable for your conduct in these paroxysms, as in your calmest moments, because it is no excuse for a reprehensible action, that it was performed under the influence of anger. Many are the words and the actions of which you are guilty in moments of petulance, that you deeply regret when cool reflection ensues ; and in this manner you sub- ject yourself to ridicule and disrespect. A dispo- sition of this character, clouds your prospects of a respectable and eligible connection. Who can desire to be united for life, to one who gives every indication of speedily becoming a scold and a vixen ? There is undoubtedly much difference in natu- ral temperament, in regard to this disposition. Some are quickly excited by circumstances that would have but little influence upon others. But no one has been endowed with a disposition that is ungovernable. By a due cultivation of the in- tellectual and moral powers, and by a proper ex- ercise of them in self-governnient, the most irrita- ble disposition can be held in subjection. When- ever you discover your temper rising in such 374 SELF-GOVERNMENT. manner as to threaten an outbreaking, bring it at once under the control of the higher sentiments- exert reflection for one moment, on the disagreea- ble effect and result of such a disposition, and you will be greatly aided in self-control. If you feel that your irritation is like to exceed command, exercise sufficient presence of mind to leave im- mediately the presence of the offending party, if possible, and the effervescence of your anger will be the more harmless, and will the sooner sub- side. It has been recommended, that when per- sons are becoming angry, they should speak in a subdued and gentle tone of voice, .which would be more likely to keep the passions in a calmer state. "A soft answer turneth away wrath,'^ says the wise man— and not only so, but will cause your own an- ger to subside. Caius Gracchus, the Roman, was a man of strong passions, which often led him into a loud and boisterous manner of speaking. To remedy this evil, he caused his servant, Licinius, always to attend him with a pitch-pipe, or instru- ment to regulate the voice, with directions that whenever his master raised his voice above a cer- tain pitch, he should sound a soft note on his pipe. This ingenious expedient had the desired effect of keeping Caius within the bounds of mo- deration. If the fair reader, when emotions of anger are kindling in her breast, would think of the pitch-pipe of Caius Gracchus, it might greatly assist her in allaying its outbreakings. SELF-GOVERNMENT. 375 Self-government is necessary to avoid violating the confidence reposed in you. In your inter- course with your associates, many circumstances will be communicated to you with injunctions of secresy. There are some who, it would seem, are entirely incapable of keeping a secret any length of time. The moment they obtain it, al- though, perhaps, profuse in protestations of in- violabili'ty^ they are as restless with their charge, as though they were pressing coals of fire. They give themselves no peace, day nor niglat, until the privacy is divulged in a delightful gossip with some othei secret-hunter, who receives it with like promises of silence, only to be again broken in like manner. Others receive confidential com- munications, with an honest mental resolve that they will not divulge them. But in an unguarded moment, the secret is revealed to some intimate friend, from whom it flies to another, and another, until it finally becomes entirely public. This imbecility is wholly owing to a lack of self-gov- ernment. There is much prudence to be observed in receiving communications of a confidential cha- racter. You should never pledge your word to keep a secret, until you ascertain something of its nature— or should never make such pledge, with- out a reservation against concealing any fact that duty would require you to divulge. If reports are repeated to you, calculated to injure the cha- racter or peace of an innocent individual, however 376 SELF-GOVERNMENT. Strong may be the injunctions to seeresy, you should unhesitatingly reveal them to the person to whom they relate, that wrong may be prevent- ed or remedied. But when a friend reposes con- fidence in you, and communicates information which no clear duty calls upon you to divulge you should lock the secret in your breast, and never, without permission, reveal it to the most mtimate companion. Under these circumstances, you should strictly conform to the golden rule and keep the secrets of another, as you would have another keep yours. And by exercising that self-control which all can command, you can sue- ceed in this determination, to a most perfect de- gree. While upon this subject, permit me to re- mark, that it is exceedingly improper to importune or endeavor, in any way, to wring from others, secrets which they desire not to divulge. Pc liteness and propriety direct, whenever an evident disinclination is manifested to reveal any thing of a confidential nature, that you should forbear further solicitations, and remain silent in respect to it. Strive to be contented with your condition. "A contented mind is a continual feast," says the old maxim truly. Contentment is an unceasing foun- tain of enjoyment. Without it, all conditions, however elevated or prosperous, are alike bairen of happiness. In this manner— under the influ- ence of contentment— the peasant in his cottage. SELF-GOVERNMENT. 377 is often vastly more happy than the monarch in his gorgeous palace. '< Hail, blest estate of lowliness Happy enjoyments of such minds As, rich in pure contentedness, Can, like the reeds in roughest winds, By yielding, make that blow but small, By which proud oaks and cedars fall." It is important that young ladies should strive to be contented with their condition. The influences of a disposition of an opposite character, will not only make them unhappy, but will be liable to lead them into efforts to change their circumstances, that may be indiscreet, yea, positively dangerous. Wisdom and prudence dictate that they should qualify themselves for a faithful and useful dis- charge of duties, which, from any change of cir- cumstances, may devolve upon them ; but, in the meantime, to remain contented with their present circumstances, until opportunity shall offer for a prudent change. A trifling exercise of self-gov- ernment, in this respect, can not but be highly 'beneficial. Never allow yourself to dislike those who would counsel you. Young people are liable to indulge in this feeling. Whenever parents or friends would dissuade them from those things that would exert a deleterious influence upon their prosperity and happiness, they sometmies l«ok upon them as needlessly opposing their enjoy- ments, and hence allow a feeling of dislike to ^^^ SELF-GOVERNMENT. arise against them. But tkis is highly improper. I.ove those who advise you, not those who pra^e you," says Boileau. Think not those un- kmd who would caution you respecting your con- duct. They harbor no evil design against you- then- only object in counselling you, is your bene- ht. Had they no regard for your welfare, had they no interest in your peace and prosperity, they would remain silent. But being alive to your happiness-cherishing a deep solicitude that you should be respected and honored-they watch over you with careful scrutiny, and would direct you m those paths which, while free from danger will lead you into permanent peace and enjoy- ment. In this light should you look upon their admonitions. You should allow their exertions in your behalf, to awaken sentiments of esteem and gralitude, rather than dislike. And with a knowledge of their kind intentions, you should permit their advice to have a deep and abiding in- fluence upon you. Finally, study your own nature and disposition • learn your respective duties toward God, your fellow-beings, and yourself-cherish the resolu- tion to discharge them faithfully-and the work of self-government will not be difficult or irksome. CHAPTER XIII. MARRIAGE. While it may not, perhaps, be necessary to urge young ladies to reflect upon the subject of marriage, yet it is all-important that they should be counselled to reflect aright in regard to it— Marriage is one of the most important events m the life of woman. It effects a total revolution in her circumstances. It introduces her mto a new field of existence— to new scenes, duties, tri- als and responsibilities. Her peace, happiness, and prosperity, throughout the remaining portion of her earthly existence, depend mamly upon the circumstances under which she enters into this union. To young ladies, then, marriage should be a subject of deep, solemn, mature deliberation. It should be divested of all romantic imaginations, and be viewed as an event of a character so mo- mentous, as to give shape to their destmy-a change which is to decide whether theirs is to be happiness or sorrow, peace or wretchedness, through life. . With these self-evident remarks in view, it would seem quite unnecessary to caution young ladies ^^^ MARRIAGE. against entering rashly and without sufficient pre- meditation into the married state. And yet how many rush blindfolded, as it were, into this con- nexion for life i How many, under the influence of some romantic, evanescent attachment, arising from frivolous circumstances, or the most empty and fleetmg attractions, confide their happiness to the keeping of those every way unworthy of a trust so important, and who are utterly incapable of smcere love, or generous sentiment ! A long hfe of contention, of bitterness, may be, of pover- ty and want, and degradation, too late convinces them of their early folly. I repeat, therefore, that an event of so much importance, and upon which depend so many serious and long continued consequences, should be a matter of the most serious and prayerful reflection to young ladies. And the necessity of precautionary meditation is strengthened in the reflection, that a mis-step in this event, is irreparable. When once the union has been formed, no awakening from a dreaming delusion, no discovery of mistaken views, or un- confirmed anticipations, or unrequited affection, no regret, or sorrow, or despondency, can dissolve Its ties and restore the deceived one to her former condition. A hfe deeply clouded with wretched- ness, IS the unavoidable forfeiture of her rashness. My first precaution to young ladies, in regard to matrimony, is not to enter upon it too young. Thousands of females are brought to a premature MARRIAGE. 381 grave by neglect upon this point. Marriage should never be consummated until the body has obtain- ed full growth and maturity — which in females, is seldom before the age of twenty or twenty-two. A violation of this rule, induces a long train of evils,* as all can perceive who will make the slight- est observation in community. Another objec- tion, in addition to destruction of health, is, that females must arrive at years of reflection and dis- cretion, before they can possess that maturity of judgment, so essential to the efficient discharge of the responsible duties, which devolve upon the head of a family. I have endeavored to show in a previous chapter, the evils which flow from this lack of knowledge and judgment, to the lady her- self, and those connected with her. Beware of early and hasty entanglements. Ma- ny young ladies entertain the opinion that it is very romantic to fall in love at first sight. How- ever appropriate and delightful this may be in a tackadaisical novel, believe me, it is an unwise and very silly practice in real life, and calls in question very decidedly, the good sense of her who is guilty of it. The affections have little or no power of penetration and research of their own. They view things upon the surface, and when un- controlled, are captivated by wh?it appears pleas- ing, without any regard to intrinsic worth, or real * See Combe's Moral Philosophy, Lecture V. 382 MARRlAGEi. merit. Hence, as appearances arc exceedingly deceitful, if the affections are without guide, thev are as liable to be centered upon a worthless ob- ject, if it has but a fair exterior, as upon one of ' value. Consequently, this falling in love at first sight, is extremely dangerous, and should be espe- cially guarded agamst by young ladies. Our Cre- ator has placed the affections under the control of the intellectual powers — the reason — the judo-- ment— and they should be permitted to decide as to the worth and excellency of every object, be- fore the affections are allowed to settle upon it. In pursuing this course the result seldom foils of being auspicious. Young ladies should, be ex- ceedingly cautious to keep their affections under their own control, and never allow them to con- centrate upon an individual, until they are perfect- ly satisfied that he is worthy of the riches of their love. In connection with this precaution, is another of equal importance. Never engage in a hasty marriage. Many instances have transpired with- in my own observation, and undoubtedly, within the observation of the reader, where parties have married after an acquaintance of but a few days or weeks ! It is needless to dwell upon the ex- treine clanger of this practice — especially to the lady. What a consummation of imprudence and folly, to connect yourself for life, with one who is virtually a stranger — of whose character, prin- MARRIAGE. 383 ciples and habits you have no safe ground to judge correctly ! This is, indeed, making marriage " a lottery." If you imitate this example, the chan- ces are a thousand to one, that you will draw a Uank ! — yea, much worse than a blank, an unwor- thy and unprincipled companion ! Beware, then, of a hasty marriage, as you value your happiness. For, although, in this manner, you may possibly secure an ehgible connexion, yet the chances of a contrary result are so numerous, that prudence and safety will not warrant the hazard. Equal caution is necessary against entering into premature and rash engagements. They often lead to great evils. Before you pledge your " troth," you should know perfectly, the charac- ter of your suitor, and his prospects in hfe. And it is, also, highly necessary, before you make any engagement, to consult your parents or guardian, and even some intimate friend, in relation to its propriety. Conceal from them nothing on this point. If even after you are engaged, you disco- ver in him who pays his addresses to you, any new trait of character, hitherto unseen, which you have good reason to believe would be a bar to your happiness were you united with him, break oif the engagement immediately, and at all hazards. Your future peace and prosperity de- mand it — and justice, honor and religion will sanc- tion your decision ! 384 MARRIAGE. " Abhor the very idea of clandestine connexions as a violation of every duty you owe to God and man. There is nothing heroic in a secret corres- pondence. The silhest girls and weakest men can maintain it, and have been most frequently engaged in it. Spurn the individual who would come between you and your natural guardians. Hearken to the opinions of your parents, with all that deference which is due to them. Rare are the cases in which you should act in opposition to their wishes." Never marry a fop. By a fop, I mean a man whose whole attention and mind are entirely en- grossed by dress and exterior embellishments— he who views the hue or set of a garment as of greater importance than industry and economy, than honesty of intentions, purity of heart, and the cultivation of the mind ! Such an individual may possess comely features, may make a fine appearance, and display gentility in manners, yet he is swayed by no truly valuable characteristic— by none of that worthiness which is so essential to matrimonial happiness. He can not appreci- ate the real excellences of the female heart, and is incapable of cherishing pure and genuine af- fection. To unite your destiny with such a man, would be placing your happiness upon a sandy foundation. Do not marry an indolent man. To become the wife of an individual of this character, would 3% 7 7 020 7838482