Ne« York TULL A R -MEREDITH CO. Chicago Best Entertainments for Any Time. Dialogs and Plays. A CORNER IN HEARTS. By Edna Randolph Worrell. Parlor play for 4 young men and 1 lady, or 5 men. Very amusing. All the lovers propose to the same girl. Biea humor • pleasing situations. Excellent for any time. 25 minutes. 15 cents. A DAY AT HAPPY HOLLOW SCHOOL. By Lettle Cook VanDerveer. A new play of the "Deestrick Skule" type. Up-to-date wit and clever drolleries. A city automobile party in contrast 'with rural youngsters. Lots of fun. Songs, etc.. may be introduced. A capital play to make money tor church or school. 25 cents. A GOOSE AND SOME GEESE. By Eleanor Stinchcomb. A Jolly Mother Goose play with a very pointed climax. For 6 girls and 1 boys. Time, 15 minutes. 15 cents. A HALLOWE'EN ADVENTURE. A lively play, by Effle Louise Koogle. Full of ghostly excitement and spooky frolic. Specially suited for social (Occasions. 8 males and 8 females, or more. 3 ecenes. 1 hour. 15 cents. A LITTLE HEROINE OF THE REVOLUTION. A play for all ages. By Elizabeth F. Guptill. A little girl is sent ostensibly to play with a _ friend, but really to carry a message to General Marion. She is captured by the British, but by her cleverness deceives them, and reaches her destination. Full of historic interest. 10 males, 5 females. More boys may be added as soldiers, if desired. 25 cents. AL MARTIN'S COUNTRY STORE. A burlesque for from 15 to 30 par- ticipants, by Archibald Humboldt and Martelle Everett. Unsurpassed for merriment, taking qualities and ease of production. A country store with all its peculiar environments Is depicted. The loafers, the small cus- tomers, the gossipers, the lovers, the innocent fun makers, all have parts. There is a graceful plot that gathers interest as the play proceeds and culminates in a brilliant climax. Unquestionably the greatest success as a popular entertainment. 25 cents CONTEST OF THE NATIONS, THE. A spectacular play or cantata, by Elizabeth F. Guptill. The Goddess of Liberty and 12 nations competo for the laurel crown. It embraces a line march ; splendid songs by Archi- bald Humboldt. Very effective, 13 ladies. 25 cents.. CABBAGE HILL SCHOOL. A humorous play for children or young people, by Elizabeth F. Guptill. Presents the trials of a new "skewl- murm" on the opening day, and the performances of the pupils in the presence of august visitors on closing day. A veritable mirth-provoker. Full of the richest humor. 10 males, 16 female characters (or less). 25c. | CROWNING THE MAY QUEEN. A spectacular play by Elizabeth F. Guptill. Children go Maying, select and crown a queen, wind the Maypole, and have a merry time. The frolic is quickly changed to great excitement by the appearance of a gypsy, who attempts to abduct them. A very clever plot and a happy arrangement. 9 boys and 8 girls, or 17 girls. 25 cents. CUPID'S JOKE. A charming little drama in which Cupid plays an Important part. A splendid society play for St. Valentine's Day, or any social occasion. 5 male and 5 female characters, and Cupid. 3 scenes, 45 minutes. By Effle Louise Koogle. 15 cents. DIALOGS FOR ANY TIME, ORIGINAL. By Elizabeth F. Guptill. Interesting and amusing. May be given in any room with very few property requirements, by primary and Intermediate grades. The author's name Is a guarantee of their excellence. They are ■witty, spicy and lively. 25 cents. DISPELLING OF BIG JIM, THE. A negro farce In one act. by Sterling C. Brewer. Decidedly humorous. Big Jim is being tried by the officials of Big Bethel Church for come misdemeanor. The trial is full of interesting occurrences and culminates In an exciting event. Full of darky humor. 8 male characters. 30 minutes. 15 cents. DOCTOR AND PATIENT. By John M. Drake. 2 male characters. Very funny. 5e. DOIG'S EXCELLENT DIALOGS. By Agnes M. Doig. Contains four excellent dialogs lor the primary grades. "Keeping Store," 3 girls, 1 boy. "Guessing," 3 girls, 2 boys. "Playing School." 4 boys, 4 girls. "Christmas Eve," 3 girls, 2 boys. 10 cents. DOLL DIALOG. This is a very instructive dialog for 4 little girls. 5 cents. DOLLY SHOW, THE. A dialog in rhvme for 7 little girls and 2 boys. The girls have Ji baby show with their dollies, and each "mother" shows her baby off to the best advantage, ffhe judge is unusually wise, awarding the prize to the satisfaction of each one. The sayings J>f the little ones are cute, and the whole performance a great success. 15 cents. DOLLS' SYMPOSIUM, THE. A most unique and captivating play, by Elizabeth F. Guptill. It combines spicy dialog, fascinating drills, clever burlesque, entrancing songs and cunning antics. Children imper- sonate the dolls and do the most amusing stunts. Unequaled as a. surprising fun maker. For any number from 16 to 60. One-half to one and one-half hours, as desired. 25 cents. GOING TO MEET AUNT HATTIE. A dialog by Mrs. Hunt. For 1 male and 3 female characters. 6 cents. THE GOLDEN GOBLET. An exceedingly clever farce, with female- cast, for Bachelor Girls' and Women's Clubs. Sororities, etc., by Louiso Band Bascom, author of "The Masonic Ring." Uproariously funny with absurd situations and comical elaborations. A "hit" for any occasion. Easy to produce. Any number of characters, but 12 required. 1 hr. 35c. HEIR OF MT. VERNON, THE. A Colonial Society Play for any occasion, in which Washington's social life, sterling manhood and cour- teous manners are portrayed. In one scene Christmas is celebrated in rare plantation style. Lively with old plantation melodies and pranks. By Effie Louise Koogle. For grammar grades or adults. 4 scenes, 8 boys and 8 girls, or more will be better. 1 to 2 hours. 25 cents. No entertalzuuenta sent on approval or exchanged* The New Teacher at Mud Hollow School A Burlesque By ELIZABETH F. GUPTILL Price 25 Cents All Rights Reserved, Amateur Performance Permitted 265 West 36th Street, New York 14 W. Washington Street, Chicago Copyright IQI4 by Tullar-Meredith Co International Copyright Secured TMP96-007G88 ©CI.A401341 JUN II 1915 Characters Miss Arabella Pinkham — the Teacher. Evalina Margarita Gwendolyn Smythe Dorcas Ann Ransome Josiah Joel Joseph Jones Fritz Van Hummel Mehitable Mercy Matilda Jones Maria Nancy Bascom Terence O'Hara O'Connor O'DonncIl Dandelion Blossom Ellowina Roberta Evangeline Smythe Honora Bridget Mary O'Donnell Katrinka Van Hummel Calla Lily Blossom William Adolphus West J Reginald Algernon DeMontmorency Smythe Polly Jane Jenkins Jones Lydia Jane Brown Mrs. West — Willie's Mother Hanna Ann Brown — Lyddy's big sister Mr. Jacob Benway — the Supervisor, who has money in the bank Pupils from 14 to 16 years old Pupils from 10 to 12 years Pupils 7 to g years Pupils of 5 or 6 years Costumes and Properties Dress the children in accordance with their characters, but in every day school clothes; country children plainly — boys in shirts and overalls, girls in calico or gingham aprons. Irish and Darkey children wear stiffly starched clothing; Calla Lily's many tiny braids are tied with bright ribbons of various colors. Choose dark eyed children for darkies, using burnt cork. Dan may have a wig, if preferred; if Calla Lily has rather short, dark hair, it will look all right when braided and tied. Fritz has light hair, rather long, and Katrinka has two long, light braids. The Irish children have red or brown hair. Choose boy with long curls or "Dutch cut" for Reginald. The Teacher should be stylishly dressed. A desk for the teacher, with a chair or two, and seats and desks for the children are all that is required. Train children carefully in speaking in dialect. They can be a year or two older than given ages. Play may be given entirely by grown-ups, those impersonating pupils dressed accordingly. This will be more laughable. THE LAST DAY AT MUD HOLLOW SCHOOL Employs the same Characters with a few added for "Visitors" etc. and should be given as a second Entertainment in the "Mud Hollow" series, or if preferred it can be given the same evening, "The New Teacher" being "part one" and "The Last Day" "part two." The New Teacher at Mud Hollow School (Scene: the schoolroom. Miss Pinkham seated at desk, soliloquizing.) Miss Pinkham. Well, of all the forsaken holes to drop into! Such a school- room! And such a name! Mud Hollow! Couldn't they have thought up anything prettier than that, I wonder? And that queer old fellow who gave me my certificate. Could a more perfect specimen of the genus "Ruben" exist? I came near asking him if that was his name. And how he did smirk! Gave me to understand that if I pleased him, the rest of the committee would be all right. With what a lordly air he told me what my princely salary would be — four dollars a week, and board around. Asked me my age, too, as if I were a child! Well, I told him. I am twenty-two, I'm sure, and it's nobody's business if I've been that age for fifteen years, I'm sure! And there's certainly no one here to marry, if he's a specimen. I shan't stay but one term, that's certain. I thought this part of the country might be a change, and it certainly is. (Looks at watch.) Nine o'clock! Here goes to call in the young Reubens and find out how much, or how little, they know. (Goes to door, rings bell, children enter, noisily.) Dan. Where 'bouts does yo' want we-all to sit, Teacher? Miss Pinkham. Oh, anywhere. Take your old seats — the ones you occupied last term. Dan. De ones we all done did what to? Lilly. Oxahpied, yo' niggah. I neber done dat to my seat, Teacher, neber! Miss P. Take the same seats you had before. Terry. Sure, and we wi^ do that same, Teacher. (They take seals, with much pushing and giggling.) Miss P. You will find some work on the blackboard to occupy your hands and attention, while I classify you and assign your lessons. Joe. T'other teachers never signed our lessons. We allers signed the writ ones our own selves, and the say ones you can't sign. Miss P. I mean classify you, and tell you where your lessons will be. Joe. Oh! (Maria begins to cry.) Miss P. What's the matter, little girl? Are y»u ill? Maria. Are I what? Miss P. Are you sick? Do you feel badly? Maria. No, I aint sick, but I do feel bad. I don't want to be classified. It'll hurt. Miss P. Why, no it won't. What an idea! Maria. 'Twill, too! What you want to do it for? None of oui ^ther teachers did. 'Sides, our folks won't like it at all! I want to go home. Miss P. What a silly little girl! Sit up and be good. Maria. I don't want to be good. I want to go home. I aint no butterfly. Miss P. Butterfly! Is the child crazy? (Shakes her slightly.) Now sit up and tell me what the trouble is. Why are you crying? Maria. I don't want to be killed and stuck on a cushion! Hitty. (Waving her hand.) I know, Teacher! I know what's the matter of her. The New Teacher at Mud Hollow School. Miss P. The matter with her, you mean. Well, what is it? Hitty. The matter of her with her is that you said you were going to classify us. Miss P. And why should that make her cry? Hilly. Her uncle's a c'lector. Miss P. I don't see that you have made it any clearer. Terry. The uncle of her c'lects butterflies, mem — kills 'em with a cyanide bottle, shticks a pin through thim fer his c'lection, shure! He calls it a classifyin' of 'em, and she thinks you're a-wantin' to do the same to her, mem. Miss P. The idea! Now, little girl, stop crying at once. I only want to find out what class you belong in. Maria. I don't want to b'long in any class. I want to go home. Dan. Nebah mind M'ria, Miss Teachah; she cries mos' all de time. She go "weep, weep, weep," like ole Frog's chillen out in de ma'sh. Joe. She was born c yin', and she'll die cryin' and turn into a founting, like that Niby girl her uncle tells about. Maria. I want to go home! Miss P. Maria, stop crying at once, or I shall give you something to c y about. Have you finished? Maria. Y-y-yessm. (Wipes eyes on apron, but continues to sniff.) Miss P. The highesi class may come out here. The rest of you take your books and find something to do until I have time to examine you. (Fritz raises his hand.) Miss P. What is it? Fritz. Der last teacher vot zamined anybody in dis sgool got herselluf into a heap ov trouble aretty. Miss P. What do yo j mean by that? Are you trying to be impertinent? No, (to Terry, who is wildly waving his hand and snapping his fingers) not you. Put your hand dowi I want the other boy to answer. Were you trying to be impertinent? Fritz. Yah, I guess zo aretty. I didn't know vot you means by dot big vord, but I voz a drying to hellup you geep out ov a scrape. Miss P. I don't understand you. No (lo Terry again) I am talking to this boy. Fritz. Der leedle gray deacher vot vos here von dime, she did zamine Galla Lily blossom's head vor gieepers, und Vrow Blossom she did chase dot leedle deacher out ov der down aretty, mit a razor. Miss P. Can't you speak English? Fritz. Yah, dot vos English aretty. Did you dink it vos Tutch? Miss P. It sounds very much like it. (Terry has waved his hand wildly most of the time, and Miss P. now speaks to him.) Now, boy, what is it? Terry. May it plaze yer sweet face, tacher, Dutchy can't hilp talking that way, at all, at all. He thinks it's Inglish, but it's jist a hodge-podge. What he's a-trying to say, but can't for the brogue of of him, is that Miss Gray, she got it into the pretty head of her, that Calla Lily Blossom had visitors in the kinky head of her, and she axamined it, jist to make sure, ye know, in defince of her own hair and the rats she wore in that same; and sure there wasn't annything in the wool of her at all, at all. 'Twas jist a notion, like, that she had of scratching the head of her because her mither made it itch like by pulling it tight, and braiding it into sich a hape of little tails to tie ribbins onto. So Miss Gray she looked at it, sharp, through her glasses, and there was all the little paths clane and impty, and no cattle a-running up The New Teacher at Mud Hollow School. and down 'em at all, at all, and she sint Calla Lily to the sate of her with, the bid to stop the scratching of her; and that was all there was to it. But the little colleen she told her mither whin she got home, and her mither she got after Miss Gray with a razor, and bedad, Miss Gray was that scared that she took the first train for home, and she niver came back to finish the terrum. Miss P. (Who has vainly tried to speak.) For pity's sake, boy, do you never stop to take breath? Terry. Sure, and I do that same, Tacher, whiniver it's nadeful. Miss P. Well, stop to do it now. Take several. (Terry does so, noticeably.) That will do. Sit down and keep still. I shall not examine your heads, the outside, at least, but I'll try to find out if there is anything inside. Joe. There aint, Teacher, not a thing. Miss P. Probably not. Highest class, pass to the front of the room. (They start to do so, straggling along.) No, go back. Dorcas. You told us to! Miss P. Take your seats again. Fritz. I didn't dake it the vurst dime. It vas right there all der dime aretty. It vas vastened to der vloor, und I gouldn't dake it. Miss P. Well, let it take you. (Fritz seats himself. The rest have already done so.) Miss P. Now, children, you heard this bell? (As she speaks, she gives the bell a smart tap.) Dan. Golly! Katrinka. Mine Gootness! Polly. Be that thing a bell, Teacher? Miss P. Of course it's a bell. Didn't your last teacher have a bell? Temperance. No'um, he didn't. He had a ferule, and he used to pound with it on the desk or on the side of the school-house, but he never had no bell. Nora. Miss Gray had a big bell, but she rung it this way. (Moves her arm up and down.) She niver give it a pat on the head of it with one finger, and it wouldn't have spoke for her, bedad, if she had done that same. Miss P. My bell rings bo. (Touches it several times.) Now, the oldest class rise when I ring it once and pass out when I ring it again. Now rise. (She taps bell. (Clans straggles up.) No, no! All rise at once! Sit down. Now! (taps bell again, and they rise the same as before. Fritz sits still.) Joe. Get up, Dutchy. Fritz. Vor vat should I get up, Choe? Miss P. Are you in this class? Fritz. Yah! I be in dis glass aretty. Miss P. Then why do you not rise with the others? Fritz. Rise? I did not zee any von rise. Miss P. They all did but you. Fritz. Vy, der rest of der glass chust shtood up aretty. Mine mutter she make der pread to rise, but I don't got any yeast in me. Miss P. I mean stand up. Fritz. Yah, Fraulein. (He does so.) Miss P. Now sit down. Now all try to get up together. (They try several times. Finally she gets the class to the front.) Joe. All gitty up and sitty down, I call it. 8 The New Teacher at Mud Hollow School. Miss P. No remarks, please. Joe. I wasn't a-remarkin' anything, but it was like the time my uncle Cy went to church. He was in Bosting, a-seein' the sights, and one Sunday he went to church. He put on a biled shirt and iled his hair up slick, and then he followed the craoud. 'Twas a tony church, with winders made of leetle bits of broken glass bottles in all the colors of the rainbow. Made a picter, too, they did. Wal, Uncle Cy he watched the rest, and done just as they done, and they kep' a-hoppin up every two or three minutes, and then a sittin' and then a kneelin' and a sassin' of the minister back. And the minister wore a widder's wrapper with a long towel round his neck and hangin' down on both sides, and the singers marched up the aisle with black petticuts on, and short night gaowns over them, and be hanged if they weren't boys, at that. And when Uncle Cy got aout, he said, "I'll be gol denied if ever I set foot in a city church agin! It's all gitty up and sitty daown." Miss P. That will do. I'll talk, now. I see I shall have to teach this school to be quiet. I never saw one that talked so much. Hilly. School haint said no thin'. It's the scholars. Miss P. Silence! I will take your names first. (To Evalina.) Yours first, please. I see you don't talk without permission. Evalina. No indeed, Miss Pinkham. My Mamma (strong emphasis on last syllable) is exterreemerly perticuler about the etiquette of our manners. We hold ourselves above the common herd of rabble around here. Joe. Some punkins, we are! Evalina. (Tossing head.) My apple-eration is Miss Evalina Margarita Gwendolyn Smythe. Miss P. Smith? Evalina. No, Madamoysle, Smythe. S-m-y-t h-e. It makes Mamma nearly swoon away to be called by that vulgar coggernomen, Smith. Miss P. Indeed! Where did you learn such very queer words? Not from the dictionary, I am sure. Evalina. I imbibed them from the conversation of my dear Mamma. She has the most flowery command of the intrickersissies of our grammatical language of any one you ever conversationed with. Joe. That she has. She's a walkin' Webster on a bridge. Evalina. She knows the dictionary now, and is always gleaning some new and oregonalidears from its wonderfully elerquent pages. Mr. Clancy, our last teacher, said it was wonderful what Mamma could do to the Angle-o Saxing language. Miss P„ I should think so. Suppose you try to speak in simpler words, while at school. Evalina. Mamma would be exceedingerly unpleased with me, if I should do so. She wishes me to become as graceful a conversationer as she is. Miss P. How old are you? Evalina. Twelve. Miss P. Only twelve? Terry. Sure, and she's been twilve iver since furst she came here, four years ago. Her Mamma (he imitates her way of saying the word) is a widdy, and she's trying her livil bist to quit being that same, so she kapes Evalina young to kape from growing older hersilf . Evalina. That isn't true, Miss Pinkham. Miss P. You certainly look all of sixteen. You are as tall as I. The New Teacher at Mud Hollow School. Evalina. Well, see how short my skirts are. Miss P. That doesn't prove anything. Evalina. Mr. Clancy didn't believe it, either, but Mamma said you would be a lady about it, she knew, for you'd told Reuben Ransome that you was twenty-two, and you appear twenty years more elder than that. Miss P. Of course your mother knows your age. I shall put it down twelve, of course. Evalina. Ma remarked this very morning that she was absolutely and cer- tainly possertive that you would, Thank you extremerly. Miss P. (To Dorcas.) What is your name? Dorcas. Dorcas Ann Ransome. The man what gin you yer stifficut is my Grandsir. Miss P. Indeed! And your age, Dorcas? Dorcas. 'Tisn't Dorcas. It's Dorcas Ann. I'm fifteen come Feb'r'y. Miss P. I shall call you Dorcas. It is your Christian name. Dorcas. 'Tisn't Dorcas. It's Dorcas Ann. Everybody always calls me the whole of it. Dan. Dey does, Miss Teachah, truly. It all b'longs togeddah, like Brer Turkle 'n his house. Miss P. Those in their seats keep still. As I said before, I shall call you Dorcas. Dorcas. 'Tisn't Dorcas. It's Dorcas Ann. My Grandsir named me for his first sweetheart, the one that wouldn't have him, and he won't like it if you don't say it all. Maybe you won't get Mud Hollow School next term. Miss P. (Aside.) Goodness knows I sha'n't want it. (Aloud.) Very well, Dorcas Ann, I'll try to remember it all. But why do you call this the Mud Hollow School? Dorcas. 'Cause 'tis! Miss P. But why is it? Dorcas. 'Cause it's in Mud Holler. Miss P. It is between two hills, but why not call it a vale or a valley instead of a hollow? Pleasant Vale, for instance, would be a much more euphonious name. Evalina. That's a pretty word — euphonious! I'll repeat that to Mamma! Miss P. Shall we call our school the Pleasant Vale School? Dorcas. 'Tis Mud Holler. Joe. Guess you'll think so, if you're ever here in mud time, Teacher. It's the muddiest hole in the hull township. Terry. Shure, an it is that same! I know who named it, Tacher! Miss P. Well, who did? Was he such a great man that it must always be called what he called it? Terry. Faith, he was a man whose name I don't know, mem, and I dis- remimber jist where he come from, but it wasn't sich a muddy counthry as this, annyway. And he was a poddling along in the mud, and a swearing that if iver he got back to the bogs of old Oirland, 'twas there he'd stay, and not go a-hunting for annything worrus, whin he saw a hat in the road be- front of him. Says he to himsilf, "I'll jist pick up tfiat hat," says he, whin all at once he saw that it was a-moving along, slow-like. "Bedad," says he, "Am I drunk, or is the hat?" Well, he walked on, his eyes on the queer- moving hat, till he caught up with the crater. "Faith," says he, "Frind Hat, it's mesilf that don't like yer actions," and he up with his fut, and f itched the hat a kick; and thin he jumped three feet into the air, for a voice 10 The New Teacher at Mud Hollow School. from under him calls out, "Let my hat alone, will ye?" "Yer hat?" says he, "And who may ye be, ye spalpeen, and faith, where are ye?" And the voice answered, "I'm John Jones, and I'm a riding along on this load of hay, a- minding me own business, and will yez plaze to do the same, if it's all alike to you? "And the man gave a woild scrame, and lit out for the sayshore, to wait till a ship should come forninst him, bound for old Oirland. "Sure, and its mesilf," says he, "that wants nothing to do wid a counthry where the mud is dape enough to hide a load of hay, and a man betop of that same, all but the hat of him." And it's been Mud Holler iver since, saving yer prisince, mem. Dorcas. And it is Mud Holler. Miss P. Well, we'll see about rechristening it, later. Dorcas. 'Tis Mud Holler, so there now! Miss P. That will do. Dorcas, (aside.) 'Tis Mud Holler, anyhow, so there! Miss P. (To Joe.) What is your name? Joe. Jo-siah, Jo-el, Jo-seph Jones. Miss P. Nonsense! Joe. Yas'm, that's what I think, but that's my name, just the same. You see, I'd had four sisters, already, when I come along, but I wasn't a sister, I was a boy. Miss P. So I should suppose. Joe. 'N Granny Baker 'n Granther Jones, 'n Great Aunt Matildy all wanted to name me, 'n they all wanted to call me Joe, but Granny wanted Josiah, after Granther Baker, 'n Granther, he wanted Joel, cause that war his name, 'n Great-Aunt Matildy, she wanted Joseph, 'cause he war her one and only beau, thet got drownded, 'n there Ma war, all fussed up atween 'em. So finally, Dad, he settled it. "Name him all three, "said he," and we'll call him Joe, 'n thet's short fur the hull kit 'n kaboodle of 'em," so they did. Miss P. But your first name is Josiah? Joe. Yas marm, Jo-siah, Jo el, Joseph Jones. Miss P. I shall call you Josiah. Joe. Pa, he won't hev it. "No partiality," he says. Jest call me Joe. Miss P. I will, Jo-siah. Joe. Naow I wouldn't dew thet, if I war you, 'cause Pa he'll raise a raow, same as he did when Miss Gray called me thet, 'n Reuben Ransome, he'll stand by him. "We don't hire teachers," he told her, "to tell the young 'uns what their names be. Yew call em what their pairients dew, dew yew hear?" 'n she hed tew. Miss P. I always supposed that the teacher was the one to run the school, but it seems that I was mistaken. Joe. Right yew be, marm. Reuben Ransome runs this skewl, 'n he runs it to please the men thet elect him. "I don't let my hired men boss me," says he, "Nor I shan't my hired women." Miss P. Indeed! Your age? Joe. Sixteen come Michaelmas Day. Miss P. And when may that be? Joe. Why, why, it's Jan'r'y, or Feb'r'y, I haint sartin which. Miss P. A boy fifteen years old, and don't know the date of your birthday? Joe. I do know it. It's Michaelmas Day. Dan. He means Ground Hog Day, Miss Teachah. The New Teacher at Mud Hollow School. // Miss P. Ground Hog Day? Dan. Yessum, Miss Teachah. Brer Ground Hog he eat all summah, an' gets fat as butt ah, an' in de vvintah he curl hisse'f up in a ball, and goes to sleep. An' long 'bout Feb'y, he wakes up an' stretches hisse'f, and out he comes to look at de weddah. An' if de sun's a shinin' so he can see his own shaddah, he goes back an' cuhls up for anuddah long nap, 'caze he know wintah is only half gonded. Kalrinka. Zum volks galls it voodchuck day. Miss P. But just when is it? What date? (All shake heads.) Joe, ask your mother tonight the date of your birthday. Joe. She'll say just what she did when Miss Gray made me ask her. She said, "You tell that silly little skewlmarm thet if .she dunno when Mich- aelmas Day comes, she'd better study her almanac a little." Miss P. (To Fritz.) Your name? Fritz. Vot? Miss P. Give me your name. Fritz. I vant him mine selluf . Pesides, he vouldn't vit you, aretty, for vy you vos a fraulein, aint it? Miss P. Tell me your name. Fritz. Vritz. Miss P. Fritz what? Fritz. No, not Vritz vot, but Vritz Van Hummel. Dare vos no name vot gome betveen, like as der odder poys, and I vos vourdeen. Miss P. Now what does this class study? Dorcas and Joe. (One names two or three, then the other.) Readin', writin', 'rithmetic, gogafy, spellin, grammar, algebray, hist'ry, comperzishin, pro- nounciation, 'rithmetic — Dorcas. I said 'rithmetic. Joe. So did I you see. Dorcas. Well, you needn't. I'd said it a'ready. Miss P. Don't begin to argue again, Dorcas Ann. Which study do you like best, Joe? Joe. I don't like none of 'em. Miss P. But you should. You want an education, don't you? Joe. I ben't at all particular 'baout thet, marm, but I dew want thet hundred acre lot. You see, Granther Baker, he couldn't read nor write, 'n Granny Bake 1- she said thet she was always 'shamed to hev to dew it all fur him, 'n she war plum sorry tew see thet I didn't hev no great leanin's thet-a-way, nuther, 'n so she said thet if I went to skewl till T war sixteen, she'd gimme her hundred acre lot when she war through with it, but she didn't dew it. She war all through with it four year ago, when she died o' pewmony, but I'll be hanged if she didn't leave a will thet I couldn't hev it till I war one an' twenty, 'n not then, 'nlessn I'd kep' on at skewl till I war sixteen. If I don't, Hitty gits ha'f, 'n Polly ha'f, 'n I'll be hanged if them gals is a-goin' to git my proputty. So here I stick till next Michaelmas Day, 'n then I'm done. Miss P. Which study do you like best, Dorcas — Ann? Dorcas. Readin', 'cause it's easiest. Fritz. I likes der viggers, and der von vare you chuggle vith the x, vy, z. Miss P. And you, Evalina? 12 The New Teacher at Mud Hollow School. Evalina. Oh, grammar, pronounciation and compersishin. Yes, and geog- geriffy. I like about the countries and cities across the ocean, for I intend to go abroad on my wedding tower. Miss P. Indeed? Evelina. Mamma says if you'll corndescend to teach me citified ettikwetty, dancing, ellercushing and singing, also lessons on the piano, she'll pay you well. Joe. With a prommissory note, due when she marries old Jake Benway. Evalina. The idearr! Joe. Wal, you know she's settin' her cap at him, and has been ever since she found out thet he had a hundred thousand dollars left him by his — his — oh hang it! 'Twas his wife's cousin's husband's brother's first wife's ant, warn't it, Everleeny? Evalina. The idearr! It was his wife's second cousin once removed that left it to her, she died right after that, so it came to him. It is nothing to you if he likes my mamma. Dorcas. He doesn't. She runs after him. He said so. Evalina. She does not! Joe. She do. Miss P. That will do, children. Who is Jake Benway? Joe. He's the supervisor, marm. You'll see enough of him. He's allers a pokin' his nose into the skewlroom. Miss P. You must not speak so of your superiors, my boy. We shall be happy to see him, I'm sure. Joe. Wal, I haint. He axes questions. Miss P. Where are you in Geography? Joe. Yurrup. Thet is, we're a-goin' to be, if you don't put us back. Most all the teachers do. Miss P. What can you do in arithmetic? Dorcas. Most anything as far as fractions, if we have our books to see the rules. We can't do any of the miscellaneous ones, 'cept Dutchy. Miss P. Then you haven't taken fractions? Joe. Land sakes, yes! We've took 'em an' took 'em, but somehow they don't take to us. Miss P. And yet you study algebra? Joe. Yas'm, but we< don't hurt it any. We haint never got very fur, 'cause we git all tangled up in the plus an' minus. Dorcas. I aint a-goin' to study it this term. My Ma says it's foolish to make believe do 'rithmetic with the alpherbet, an' I'm to drop it. Joe. Guess I will, too. Miss P. It would be well, I think, for you all to drop it till you are a little farther in arithmetic. (Evalina raises hand.) Well, Evalina? Evalina. I'm afraid my mamma will be filled with oberjections as to that. She cornsiderates that algibberray is a very genteel study, and entirely fit- ticated to be a portion of a well bred young lady's education. She will desire me to continue with it, I am certainly possertive. Friz. I like der leedle letters vot makes berlieve dey vos figgers. It vos as goot as a buzzle aretty, to guess at der way to mix dem up. Miss P. Well, I will see, later, what you and Evalina can do with it. Joe and Der .as — Ann may drop it if they wish. You may take your seats, now, and be prepared to shiw me what you know about fractions, after recess. (They take seats.' Noxf cbss! (Terry, Dan and Hitty come out.) The New Teacher at Mud Hollow School. 13 Terry. Sure, an' Maria's in our class. Miss P. Come Maria. Maria. I don't want to come. I want to go home. You're a c'lector! Miss P. Don't be foolish, Maria. I shall not hurt you. Come! Maria. I want to go home! (Begins to cry again.) Miss P. What a silly little girl! Don't be a baby, now. Come out here, before I have to come after you. Maria. I — I — don't like to be called names! T-t-tisn't nice, if y-you are a s-sschool-ma'am ! Miss P. I didn't call you any names, but you must obey. You are disturb- ing the rest of the school. Maria. Y-y-you d-did too! You said I was a silly fool, and a bawl-baby! Miss P. I didn't say so, but you certainly appear so. Come! Maria. I-I-don't wanter! {Miss P. goes to her, and brings her down by force, Maria crying loudly.) Dan. Golly! She makes as much noise as ole Mis' Crow's pickaninnies did when Brer Fox got arter 'em. Miss P. (Shaking Maria.) Be still! If you don't keep quiet, I shall whip you. Maria. (Subsiding into sobs.) I-I-don't mind a wh-whipping, but I don't want pi-pins stuck into me! Miss P. What is your name? Maria. M-M-Maria, (sniff, sniff) N-Nancy, (sniff,) B B-Bascom, oh dear! Miss P. And your age? Maria. A d-d-d-dozen! Miss P. Well, see if you can stop crying a few minutes, do! Terry. Sure, and she'll stop byme-by, when she furgits herself, but she'll begin agin as soon as iver she remembers. She's worrus than a banshee, a- wailing all the living time. She'd be a trisure at a wake! Miss P. (To Hitty.) What is your name, little girl? Hitly. Mehitable Mercy Matilda Jones, 'n I'm Joe's sister, 'n I'm 'leven'n three quarters. Miss P. (To Terry.) And yours? Terry. Terence O'Hara O'Connor O'Donnell, if yez plaze'm. Miss P. Say it again, please. I didn't get all the O's. (He does so.) Miss P. I never had a school where the children had such'abundance of names. Terry. Sure, and we do that same! Ye see, mem, me mither was O'Connor, and her mither was an O'Hara, and me feyther was Terence O'Donnell, as was his feyther before him, and his and his and his and his and — Miss P. Do stop, boy! Don't go on forever. Terry. Sure, an' I wasn't a-goin' to mem. I'd a-stopped whin I got to the ind of 'em, av coorse, but there was tin Terence O'Donnell's av County Cork, and I'm the 'livinth. Wan av the good little people she told me great- great-grandmither in the 'livinth generation: "Name him Terence?" says she and whin the thirteenth Terence is born, he'll have a gould spoon in the mouth av him" says she. So I'm the 'livinth, an' me grandson will be a rich man, bedad! Miss P. So you were born in Ireland? Terence. I was that, mem, and whin me rich grandson is born, I'm going back, bedad, and take me mither with me. She shan't do ither folkses washin's thin, says I. 14 The New Teacher at Mud Hollow School. Miss P. I should think not, indeed. How old are you? Terence. Tin, an' goin' on 'livin. Miss P. You are young for this class. Terry. But I've got an ould hid on the shoulders av me, mem, and ye'll find I can do anny worruk that this class can do, bedad. Anny rale Irishman can beat a naygur twice his age or size, with wan hand tied behint the back av him, yis he can! Dan. Don't youall go for to call me no niggah, or I'll bust yo' haid for yo', yo' raid-haided Paddy! Terry. Yez will, will yez? Kim on an' thry it wance, av yez dare! (Boys begin to fight. Miss P. separates them.) Miss P. Boys! Boys! I am ashamed of you. Sit down and behave your- selves! Dan. He needn't go to callin' me niggah, den! Terry. Sure an' yersilf called me Paddy! Miss P. (Shaking Terry.) Be still! (To Dan.) Now, then, what is your name? Dan. Dandelion Blossom, and I don't know how old I is, caze my Mammy she done furgit. Ise 'bout so older dan my sistah. Measures about the height of a two-year old child.) Miss P. But what is your name? Dan. I dun tole yeh, it's Dandelion Blossom. Miss P. That isn't a name, it's a flower. Dan. Yas, Mis' Teachah, an' Ise my Mammy's flower. Yo' see, my Daddy is Tobe Blossom, an' dat's sho't fo' Tobaccah Blossom, so when my Mammy come to know him, she up an' mahhied him fo' his putty name, an' she says, ef Ise gwine teh be a Blossom, I'll be a ra'a posy, 'n she changed her name fum Chloe to Japonica, caze dat's de bestest blossom she knows, and so wealls are named from posies, too, an' Ise Dandelion. Dey calls me Dan, mos'ly, heah at de school, but Mammy don like it. She say it sounds like a po' white chile's name. Miss P. What do you study? Dan. 'Riffumtic, Gog'fy, Spellin', Readin', 'Ritin', an' dat's all. Miss P. Where are you in arithmetic? Dan. In distruction, Miss Teachah. Terence. Sure an' it's substraction he manes, mem, where yez take a number from a littler one by borryin' from yez neighbor. "Do yez pay attention, me bye, an' git that lisson well," me mither says, "for if yez can learn to take somethin' from nuthin', sure an' yez may git rich widout waitin' for yez grandson. "We haint got it yit, though. Miss P. And in Geography? Hitty. We're just a-beginnin' that, Teacher! We're a-learnin' of the defun- ishings. Miss P. ^ Learn the first lesson to recite after recess. That will do. (Class goes to 'seats, Maria crying into her apron.) Miss P. Next class! (Nora, Katrinka, Calla Lily and Ellovrina come out.) Miss P. Four little girls! That's nice. I'm sure this is a nice class. Now I'll take your names. (All begin to give them at once.) Oh, no, not that way, one at a time. (To Ellowina.) What is your name? Ellowina. Ellowina Roberta Evangeline Smythe, and I'm eight years old. Miss P. You are not so tall for your age as your sister. The New Teacher at Mud Hollow School. 15 Ellowina. No ma'am, but I have a birthday every year. Miss P. Indeed? (To Nora.) And what is this little girl's name? Nora. Honora Bridget Mary O'Donnell. Miss P. And your age? Nora. Sivin. (Both ansivers have been very low.) Miss P. Speak up, child, I can't hear you. Cannot you speak louder? (Nora shakes head.) Terry. She's bashful, mem. She's me little sishter, an' her name's Honora Bridget Mary, but we calls her Nora for short. She's sivin, last St. Patrick's Day. Miss P. And who is this little girl? Kalrinka. Katrinka Van Hummel, and I vos eight years old aretty. Zum day I vos been nine. Fritz, he vos mine brutter, zum, und I vos his zister, aretty, too. Miss P. And this is Dan's sister, I'm sure. What blossom are you? Calla Lily. Calla Lily. Miss P. And da they call you Calla, or Lily? Calla Lily. Dey calls me Calla Lily. My Mammy she say de hull on it, ebry time, Teachah. Miss P. Exceedingly appropriate, I'm sure! And has she forgotten your age, too? Calla Lily. Yassum, but dat don' mattah. Ise old enough to go to school- Cabbage Rose an' Rhododendron an' Magnolia dey aint big 'nough yet- White Clematis he war big 'nough, but he 'et too much water million, an' he's daid, so he aint a-comin' this term Miss P. I should think not. Calla Lily. Mebbe his ghostess might come, Teachah, if we-all kept school night times. Ghostesses don't come out by day. Miss P. Nor by night, child, either. Surely you do not believe in ghosts? Dan. Don' yo' Teachah, truly? Miss P. Certainly not! Dan. Den yo' jes' bettah come see my Mammy, an' let her tell yo' 'bout what a lot she's seed, an' how she's talked to 'em. She's allers a-sayin' dat folkses what don' b'lieve in ghostesses an' ha'nts is ig'nunt, an' needs to be teached. Miss P. That will do. There is no such thing as a ghost. Take your seats. (They do so.) Calla Lily. My Mammy she knows. She's seed 'em. Miss P. (To Polly.) What is your name? Polly. Polly Parrot, tee-hee- hee! Miss P. Well, of all the extraordinary names! (Polly continues to gigglas.) Joe. 'Taint Polly Parrot, nuther. That's a nickname. Her name's Polly Jones. Hitty. It's Polly Jane Jenkins Jones, fer Marm, and she's six years old, and knows most of her letters. Nora. Yez didn't ask us where our lissons was. Miss P. I was too busy. It is nearly recess time. I will hear you read after recess, and question you then. Katrinka. You von't need to question us much, aretty. Ve chust read in der zegond reading book, und zpell our vords zum vay, und ve gount 'em von, doo, vree. 16 The New Teacher at Mud Hollow School. Calla Lily. We-all learns to write our names, too, Teachah, only we-all can't do it yet. Miss. P. Now this little boy is the only one left. What is your name? Reginald. No matter. Miss P. That isn't pretty. Tell me your name. Reginald. Tom. (Evalina and Ellowina have been wildly waving their hands.) Miss P. Well, Evalina? Evalina. He is my youngest brother, ma'am. Reginald. I'm your, oldest brother, too. Evalina. His name is Reginald Algernon De Montmorency Smythe. It's an exceedingly euphonious and allergant name, and sounds like he belonged to the old English aris to crassy, Mamma says, but he doesn't like it, and wants to be called Tom, like a common barn cat. He is nearly six, and Mamma says he's the tribberluation of her existence for he's just determined he will not be high-toned and proper. Ellowina. Mamma says he's just like Papa. He would be called John Smith, in spite of tears and entreaties, and he used to eat with his knife! Evalina. (Sharply.) Don't tell all you know, Ellowina. Teacher. Can you read, Reginald? Reginald. No, and don't wanter. (A knock is heard. Miss R. goes to door.) Miss P. Won't you come in? (Mrs. West and Willie enter.) Mrs West. I am bringing you my only remaining treasure, Miss-Miss? Miss P. Pinkham. Mrs. West. Ah yes, Miss Pinkham. He is a little spoiled, I fear, but you will have no trouble, I think, if you humor him a little. Since his dear Papa died, (wipes eyes dainily) he has been my only solace. (Willie has been making faces at the pupils. His mother now notices it.) Willie darling, that isn't pretty. Take off your cap, love. Willie. Rather keep it on. Mrs. West. Be Mamma's little gentleman, and take it off. Willie. You don't take yours off. Mrs. West. Mamma'll give you a penny if you're good, dear. Willie. Off it comes, then. (Throws it on floor. His Mother picks it up.) Miss P. Has he ever been to school? Mrs. West. Not lately, I have been unable to spare him. He is eight now, and I think he should go, so I have brought him. Willie darling, don't wink at the little girls. You make them laugh. Willie. I want to make 'em laugh. Miss P. What is your name, Willie? Willie. That's my name. Miss P. Willie what? Willie. Not Willie What, Willie Darling. (Winks broadly and grins.) Mrs. West. Now be a good boy, Willie Darling. His name is William Adol- phus West, and he is eight years old. WiUie. Well, you always say it that way, Ma. Miss P. He has been to school before, of course? Mrs. West. Oh yes, in the city, before his sainted Pa died. Pardon my dis- play of emotion, but my loss is still quite recent. Joe. (Aside.) Not so recent but what she's got an eye on old Jake Benway. Evalina. (Aside.) He won't look at her. The New Teacher at Mud Hollow School. 17 Fritz. (Aside ) Nor your mutter, eider, aretty. I pet on der sgool deacher. Miss P. Silence in the seats! Dan. My seat neber said nuffin'. Mrs. West. My tears still flow easily, you see, but I think I can converse now. Willie. Yes, Pa's caused you a good many tears first and last, Ma. Mrs. West. Be a good boy, Willie darling. He was considered very smart in the city. The dear child's health isn't very good, so I never cross or punish him, and he must not study too hard, as it might injure his brain. The dear boy is very precocious. Miss P. What do you know, Willie? Willie. Mighty little. Mrs. West. The dear child is so modest. Miss P. What did you like best when you went to school? Willie. Recess time, and dinner time. Miss P. In school hours, I mean? Willie. Making the rest of them laugh. Mrs. W. Now Willie darling, don't make the teacher think you're a naughty boy. Be my own good boy, that's a dear. I fear I've spoiled him a little, since his dear papa died. WiUie. She never spoiled Pa any. He had to stand round. Mrs. West. Be good, Willie darling. Would you like to examine him? Miss P. Not at present. Find a seat, Willie. (Willie seats himself by Kat- rinka, and pulls one of her braids.) Katrinka. (Clutching his hair.) You chust sit yourselluf down zumveres else, aind it. You don't peen a-going to zit mit me aretty, you Villie poy. Miss P. Take an empty seat, Willie. (Willie tugs at one.) Willie. I can't take it, cause it's nailed down. Joe. (Sitting him forcibly down.) Take it that way, smarty. Mrs. West. Goodby Willie darling. Be a good boy. Be easy with him, won't you? Miss P. Yes indeed. He has a few things to learn, but I've no doubt he will learn them. Goodbye. Mrs. West goes out. (Mius P. turns to Willie.) Miss P. Now Willie, in what class are you? Willie. Third Reader, I guess. Miss P. You guess? Answer me correctly, and do not try any more showing off. A loud knock is heard. Miss P. goes to door. Hannah Ann enters, drag- ging Lyddy Jane after her.) Hannah. I suppose you're the new teacher? Miss P. I am. Hannah. H'm! I don't see anything very pretty about you. Miss P. I am not aware that I said there was. Did you come here to in- sult me? Hannah. No, I come to bring this plague taked youngun to school, 'cause I couldn't drive her to come alone, but I want you to understand that Hank Jenkins is my beau, and you needn't to smile any more of your pink and white smiles at him, as you did when he druv yer from the deepo. I won't have it, do you hear? Miss P. You don't want me to frown at him, do you? Hanna. Yes I do. Comin' home and telling me how pretty you be! The idee! If you're so dead set on getting a feller, you set your cap fer Jake Benway, same as the other old maids and widdys does, and let Hank be. 18 The New Teacher at Mud Hollow School. (Gives Lyddy a shake.) Now you be good, Lyddy Jane, or she'll lick yer. Miss P. What is your name, little girl? {Lyddy hangs head.) Hannah. (Shaking her.) Why don't you answer up? Her name's Lyddy Jane Brown, and she's five years old. She's my sister, or rauther, ha'f sister. If she don't mind, lick her. She don't know nuthin' but mebbe you can teach her a little, if you take your mind off' n Hank long 'nuff . Jest you remember, he's spoke fur. (Pushes Lyddy Jane towards Miss P. and flounces out.) Joe. (As Miss P. leads her to seat.) Hank's dretful henpecked a'ready, but Hannah's got an ant who's got a woodlot. Miss P. Don't talk without permission. Joe. No-um. Here comes Jake Benway. Miss P. That man? Joe. Yep, that man. He aint harnsum, but he's got money. Terry. And he wants him a wife, Tacher. Smile your prittiest , now. Fritz. Blease gan ve haf recess, vile you get acquainted? Miss P. Yes, it is recess time now. (Strikes bell. Children run out. She takes a tiny mirror from her desk, and primps.) Miss P. (Aside.) A hundred thousand? It's worth trying for. (Advances toward door with a smirk.) One could improve him a little, or keep him in his place, perhaps. Here he comes. (Arranges hair.) CURTAIN. Entertainments tor Closing Day SCHOOL SONGS FOR CLOSING DAY. By Harriette Wilbur, Contain* a number of most excellent original songs for the last day celebrations. Some havt original music, while others are set to familiar tunes. A very practical collection of songs suited to all grades. Bright and pleasing. 15 cents. CLOSING EXERCISES FOR PRIMARY GRADES. By Harriette Wilbur A rich collection of recitations, dialogs, and other attractive features, bright, spicj and thoroughly up-to-date. A book that is decidedly refreshing because every num- ber is good. Contains greetings, welcomes and valedictories of a childish nature. In preparing this volume our special aim has been to provide all material needed by the teacher and pupil at this time. It is choice and complete. 25 cents. CLOSING EXERCISES FOR THE GRADES. Compiled by Harriette Wil- bur. A budget of wide-awake recitations, covering all phases of last day and vaca- tion events and ideals; an original salutatory and valedictory; two clever little plays, sparkling with fun, etc. A much needed book that supplies the demand. It is a gem. 25 cents. TEN COMMENCEMENT SONGS. By Harriette Wilbur and others. A splendid collection of choice, new songs specially written for Graduation day. This collection embraces original class songs ; commencement, graduation, valedictory and farewell songs. Some are set to original music, some to favorite college songs, and others to operatic selections. Words and music complete. 25 cents. CLOSING RECITATIONS FOR THE HIGH SCHOOL. Compiled by Har- riette Wilbur. An excellent collection of appropriate material for the high school. It will be welcomed by pupils just entering the high school, as well as those pre- paring to graduate. Each selection is of rare value. Sensible, choice and inspir- ing. 25 cents. NEW CELEBRATIONS FOR LAST DAY OF SCHOOL, Flag Day and Bird Day. By Ida M. Hedrlck. Choice material for all grades. Practical and 1 appro- priate. 25 cents. WHEN WE GRADUATE. An abundance of indispensable material for the commencement season. It embraces model salutatories and valedictories com- plete; hints regarding the graduation oration, its preparation and delivery; com- mencement hints ; class mottoes ; a large number of outlined graduation essays and orations on a wide diversity of subjects; historical, literary, ethical, industrial, biographical, etc. The imperative demand for such material has prompted the publication of this book and we heartily recommend it. It amply covers every need for this occasion. Herein you find "graduation made easy." Beneficial to teachers or pupils of Grammar Grades, High Schools and Colleges. It is icorth while. 50c. (See other lists for additional material appropriate for these occasions.) Entertainments for Thanksgiving THE WAIF'S THANKSGIVING. By Elizabeth F. Guptill. An intensely pathetic little play. Of absorbing interest from start to finish. The appreciation of a lady of affluence shown some destitute newsboys for their sterling integrity leads to the recovery of her little son, who had been kidnapped and not drowned, as she supposed. For intermediate or mixed grades. 5 males and 4 females ; more if desired. Three-quarters of an hour. 25 cents. THANKSGIVING SONGSTER, THE. By Effie Louise Koogle. Songs of Thanksgiving time for old and young. Solos, duets and choruses abundant ; serious, sensible, pathetic and h :morous. All phases of the season woven into mirthful and enchanting song. The only collection of Thanksgiving songs of this character. 25c. FIN DE SIECLE THANKSGIVING EXERCISES. Contains material for several entertainments. Separate program for each grade. Original songs, recita- tions, dialogs and many other features. Bright, enthusiastic, sensible. 15 cents. NEWSBOYS' THANKSGIVING, THE. A jolly new play. Four city news- boys go to the country on Thanksgiving Day, make the acquaintance of Farmer Brown and his family, have a merry time and a good dinner. Sensible, but full of fun. 6 male, 4 female characters. No troublesome requirements. Time, 40 min- utes. 15 cents. TWENTIETH CENTURY THANKSGIVING EXERCISES, THE. Pro- vides an abundance of choice, new material, including several dialogs for celebrat- ing Thanksgiving in the schoolroom. Practical, gratifying, sensible. 15 cents. BOBBY BREWSTER'S ROOSTER. A delightful Thanksgiving operetta for young folks, by Effie Louise Koogle. The plot is strong; the climax surpris- ing; the music full of life. Two scenes, ordinary furnishings. No costuming. 5 boys and 5 girls required. Any number more may be used. About three-quarters of an hour. Words and music complete. 25 cents. TWO INVITATIONS, THE. For Thanksgiving. A jolly new operetta. Fun from beginning to end. The music is bright and catchy. Full of clever hits. Easy to give. For 4 boys and 5 girls. 15 cents. HOW TO CELEBRATE THANKSGIVING DAY and other holidays, birth- days of authors and noted men. Full and complete programs provided for every holiday. 25 cents. No entertainments sent on approval or exchanged. Thanksgiving Entertainments — Continued. JACK FROST'S MISTAKE. By Clara J. Denton. A very clever one-act operetta. Four speaking parts and a chorus of any number. Familiar music is given. Easily prepared. The costumes are simple but wonderfully effective. A great success. S or more boys. 45 minutes. 25 cents. THANKFUL BOBBY. A solo for a small boy. A delightful Thanksgiving number. Range suited to a small boy's voice. Bobby gives good reasons for being thankful — from a boy's viewpoint. 25 cents. LITTLE THANKSGIVING WORKERS. An action song for one or more little girls. Describes the preparation for the annual feast day most effectively. A pleasing melody which little singers will relish. 25 cents. THANKSGIVING IN BROWNIE-LAND. By Effie Louise Koogle. A rol- licking play for boys. For any time. Full of life and fun. Also contains Novem- ber's Crown. 15 cents. NOVEMBER'S CROWN. A new spectacular entertainment for Thanks- giving. Easy to present, but wonderfully brilliant and pleasing. For 14 girls and boys. 15 cents. CHRYSANTHEMUMS. A fancy march and drill for 12 girls, or 8 girls and 4 boys. Contains original music. Dainty but effective. 15 cents. AUTUMN LEAVES. A fancy drill or exercise for 6 girls carrying sprays of autumn leaves. Simple, but pleasing. 15 cents. Entertainments for Christmas Christmas Operettas THE CHRISTMAS GARDEN. By Edna Randolph Worrell. A lively spectacular play with captivating music. The Sun, Moon, Stars and Flowers, Snow and Blow and Kris appear in appropriate costumes. Spicy colloquy and unusually clever sons. 15 or more children. The more the better. Costumes and scenery easily made of crepe paper. Words and music complete. 25 cents. THE TOYS' REBELLION. The famous little operetta which captured the first prize awarded by the Ladies' Home Journal for the best Christmas play for children. Equally as bright and captivating as "Runaway Bear," "Christmas at the Pole," etc., by the same author, Edna Randolph Worrell. Characters : The toys (11 small children), 6 or more boys and girls, 11 to 14 years old, and Kris Kringle. 25 cents. CHRISTMAS AT THE POLE. An operetta for big and little, by Edna Randolph Worrell. For the entire school or a select few. Characters : Uncle Sam, Santa, Twin Explorers, Students (any number), the Nations (any number), Eskimos (any number). Ideal and up-to-date. The text is a lively combination of happy thoughts and pleasant surprises. The music is fascinating and enchanting. We recommend this production most highly. Words and music complete, 40 cents. COL. GRUMPY'S CHRISTMAS. A jolly operetta, by Effie Louise Koogle. At a house party on Christmas eve, a burglary is perpetrated, Santa Claus captured, and lively times ensue. A capital plot. Music provokingly clever and capricious ; dialog spicy and lively. Full of fun and frolic. Easy to learn. No scenery or costumes required. 4 boys and 4 girls in speaking parts, any number more desired. Words and music complete. Three-quarters of an hour. 25 cents. A SURPRISED GRUMBLER, or How Kris Kringle Made a Convert. A new Christmas operetta. Brilliant music, sparkling words. Full of life. Original, Jolly and clever; sure to captivate the audience. 25 minutes. 15 cents. THE RUN-A-WAY BEAR. A Teddy Bear novelty, by Edna Randolph Worrell. An operetta for any number of children. A unique plot, clever puns, witticisms and music the most pleasing, combine to make one of the rarest up-to- date entertainments. Introduces "Teddy Bear" parade, with catchy music. Cos- tumes simple, and no bothersome requirements. Easy to learn, easy to give. Time, a half hour or longer. Music and dialog complete, 40 cents. KRIS KRINGLE'S MINSTRELS. By Effie Louise Koogle. The "totally different" Christmas entertainment. Add to the attractiveness of the minstrel show idea the distinction of having "His Royal Nibs" as Interlocutor, with equally unique personalities as End Men, endow them with a program flashing with fun, brilliant with beauty, enlivening with song and teeming with specialties, and you have a scream of delight from start to finish. The mos.t novel novelty of the age. 25 cents. Christmas Drills and Marches CHRISTMAS STAR MARCH AND DRILL. Various figures of fancy marches, and a captivating drill. For 16 or 24 girls. Easy to give, picturesque in effect. Diagrams and full explanations given. Exceedingly effective ; sure to delight. 15 cents. HOLLY. A Jumping-rope Drill for 6 girls, by Harriette Wilbur. An original and unique exercise of wonderful beauty. Contains special music. 15 cents. No entertainments sent on approval or exchanged. New York TULLAR-MEREDITH CO. Chicago POPULAR ENTERTAINMENTS THE RAG SOCIABLE. A quaint old fashioned entertainment which is always sure to please. Libretto by Edith S. Tillotson. Music by various Composers. The dialog is very spicy and interesting, and humor and pathos are beautifully blended in the various musical selections. The characters include Mrs. Winters and her two daughters Betsy and Maria, Miss Jemima Rush. Mrs. Bassett, Mrs. Collins, Mrs. Salina Grey, the Allen twins (elderly), Mrs. Martha Ann Hall. Miss Eliza Hall, Mrs. Jane Tompkins and Amanda Tompkins. The nst of characters may be extended ad. lib. to meet local conditions. A fine entertainment for a class of women or girls. Ladies' Aid, Christian Endeavor and Epworth League Societies, etc. Price. 25 cents per copy. LOVE FINDS THE WAY, op The Detective That Father Hired. Music by Chas. H. Gabriel. Words by Rev. Wm. Danforth, author of "The Old District School," etc. A highly amusing farcical song-skit, with four characters: A Determined Young Lover, an Irate Father, a Daughter with a Will of Her Own, and an Aiding and Abetting Mother- parts: tenor, basso, soprano and alto. This composition consists of singing and dialog for each part and will serve to enliven any entertainment. The music is moderately easy, melodious and should be available in practically all communities. This work consists of some 12 pages in sheet music form. The story is as follows: A father, who objects to his daughter having a beau, believing that she is planning to elope with an unknown young man, advertises for a detective to ferret the matter out. The young lover answers the ad- vertisement, and tae father hires him to detect the culprit, promising to pay him "anything within reason." When the young lover's true identity is disclosed, he demands as his reward, for having detected himself, the hand of the daughter. The irate father objects. The daughter eventually convinces him that true love was the real detective in the case, and the parental consent is given. Price. $1.50; 50 per cent discount. THE OLD DISTRICT SCHOOL. A farce in two acts (new version). Book by Wm. Danforth. Music arr. by Geo. F. Rosche. This is a burlesque on the district school of 100 years ago. Ezekiel Simpkins, the teacher, is the central char- acter His costume is a tight Prince Albert coat, with brass buttons, or a worn and faded "claw-hammer" coat, colored vest cut low; stock collar, with large black tie; trousers, "high-water," with a patch of other color on one knee; well- worn shoes. Bald gray wig and "side" whiskers. The costumes of the pupils are in keeping with those of the teacher. The characters all read their lines from the book, so that there is yery little to be memorized and for this reason this work can be prepared in a very short time. Price, postpaid, 50 cents per copy. THE CHAPERON. A humorous Operetta in three Acts. Libretto by Wm. Danforth. Music by Geo. F. Rosche, "The Chaperon' ' is a humorous operetta designed for church choir and young people's societies. It will be found avail- able in all communities in which seven young men and seven young ladies who sing can be found. The music is bright, tuneful, easy to learn and easy to remember. The dialogue is witty, clean, wholesome and entertaining. Price, post- paid, 60 cents per copy. THE VISION OF HENSEL. An evening with the old songs. The old songs of child- hood, youth, love, war and home. Libretto by Elian N. Wood. There is no friend like an old friend and after all there are no songs we love quite so much as the old ones. This cantata furnishes a beautiful medium for the introduction of the old songs which we all know and love. There is just enough libretto to the work to form a continuous chain of thought throughout, and we know of no cantata that will afford such a pleasing entertainment at such a small expenditure of labor. The book is well worth its price if only to secure this fine collection of old home songs. Full of sentiment, humor and pathos and decidedly new and fresh in construction. Price, 30cents per copy, postpaid; $3.00 per dozen, not prepaid; add 3 cents per copy for postage. I *^™*9*^8f THE SPINSTERS' CLUB. A humorous operetta In two acts. Libretto by Harriet D. Castle. Music by Geo. F. Rosche. "The Spinsters' Club" is a humorous operetta designed for church choirs and young people's societies. It will be found available in all communities in which a church choir is found. The music is bright, tuneful, and yet easy to learn and memorize. The dialogue is witty, pleasing and entertaining, ''ice, postpaid 60 cents per copy. A returnable sample copy of any of the above mailed on receipt of 3 cents for postage; to be returned postpaid or paid for in Thirty days. W?HCWSggJvMw&W The Vision of hensel 7^SX*ZX' J «V**< t >*>2 ILLUSTRATED PANTOMIMED HYMNS NEARER MY GOD TO THEE. Posed under the direction of Eleanor H. Denig. This is a particularly fine produc- tion and lends itself admirably for a twelve-minute addition to an evening's entertainment in the church or hall. The instructions are very clear so that this pantomime may be prepared by anyone with ordinary talent or ability. The fourteen full figure halftone illustrations will be found an excellent help. The music is very complete. The regular hymn tune is printed for mixed voices; also an original quartet for voices of women and an original setting for voices of men and an original duet for soprano and alto by J. S. Fearis, thus furnish- ing a variety of music found in no other publication of this sort. Price, 40 cents postpaid. "Not sent on examination.'* IT CAME UPON THE MIDNIGHT CLEAR. Posed under the direction of Eleanor H. Denig, This pantomime will be particuarly interesting during the winter season for a twelve-minute addition to church or other entertainments. The directions are very elaborate, enabling any person to prepare the same successfully. The music is very complete, consisting of a hymn tune for mixed voices; an original setting for voices of both women and men: also a very fine duet soprano and alto; the latter by Chas. H. Gabriel. Price, 40 cents per copy postpaid. "Not sent cm examination.'* New York TULL AR-MEREDITH C» oF CONGRESS NEW P L A By Elizabeth F. Guptill ltl\lU\l\lVW (iih»«>« '"•■ - -7 The School at Mud Hollow. A burlesque in « $16 103 802 Females. Time about 2 hours. Price 35 cents PART I. In which is portrayed the difficulties encountered by Miss Arabella Pinkham, who has come to "Mud Hollow" to assume the responsible duties of "Teacher" in the school. In selecting "Mud Hollow" she seeks a change from the city life she is accustomed to, and finds plenty of it in the manners, customs and dialect of the pupils. From start to finish there is nothing but fun. PART II. Which represents the last day at the school, when the proud parents are present to listen to the final examination of the class by the Supervisor and enjoy the program which is rendered by the pupils. Part II. offers an opportunity for about 60 minutes of the finest fun possible. "The School at Mud Hollow" may be given in one evening, but for those who would prefer to make two evenings of it, or to give only one part, we offer the same work announced below under the title of "The New Teacher at Mud Hollow SchooF' and "The Last Day at Mud Hollow School" either of which can be given as a complete entertainment without regard to the other one. The New Teacher at Mud Hollow School. Being Part I. of THE SCHOOL AT MUD HOLLOW. 6 Males and 14 Females. Time about 1 hour. Price 25 cents. The Last Day at Mud Hollow School. Being Part II. of THE SCHOOL AT MUD HOLLOW. 8 Males and 19 Females. Time about 1 hour. Price 25 cents. Santa's Rescue Two mysterious pieces of paper fall into the hands of the children, one being found by the BOYS and one by the GIRLS. The meaning of the in- scription on each remains a mystery until it is discerned that by placing the papers together they have the message that the "Old Witch" of the North has captured "Santa" and holds him in an ice prison at the North Pole. Of course there could be no "Merry Christmas" without their "patron saint", so guided by the "Fairy Godmother" they start for the North Pole to rescue him. The "Old Witch" endeavors to block the rescuers' way by the as- sistance of "Old Zero" and the "Snow Fairies" but when they learn that the snow drift* they are piling up are to aid in keeping "Santa" from his usual Christmas activities they get the "Sunbeam Fairies" to come to their aid and melt the snow, while they bind with a frozen cord the "Old WitcTi," who is found indulging in a nap which she takes only once every hundred years. With the "Old Witch" powerless and in their control the Rescue of Santa is an easy matter. Tho* belated somewhat by his enforced stay at the North Pole, the children are glad to become his "aides" in spreading a "Merry Christmas" through all the world. This is a very clever plot, well worked out, and will make a decided hit for the Christmas season. 4 Boys and 5 Girls with any number of Fairies. Time about 1 hour. Price 25 cents. FARCES Taking the Census. Mr. Cole, the Census Taker, has a funny experience in an attempt to gather the facts required by the government from Mrs. Almira Johnson, a "culludlady," and her young son Alexander. Three characters only. Time about 10 minutes. Price 10 cents. Answering the Phone. Mrs. Courtney and her daughter have a most try- ing experience with Nora Flanagan, the new "hired girl," who in their absence attempts to carry out the instructions given with special reference to "answering the phone." The final situation in which Nora makes a date with Miss Courtney's "intended" is ridiculous in the extreme. 3 females. Time about 15 minutes. Price 10 cents. The Twins and How They Entertained the New Minister. They have a delightful time telling family secrets to the "New Minister," who has called for the first time. They explain the necessity of seeing their mother to find out from her if she is "In," for so often she is "Out" when she is "In" and "In" when she is "Out" 2 Males and 1 Female. Time about 15 minutes. Price 10 cents. NO ENTERTAINMENTS SENT "ON EXAMINATION"