PS 3539 
 
 .038 
 
 H6 
 
 1912 
 
 
 Copy 
 
 1 
 
(Notice. — This play is here privately printed and not for 
 circulation. All its dramatic rights are fully protected, and 
 proceedings will be immediately taken against anyone who 
 attempts to infringe them.) 
 
 Holy Lucre 
 
 A DRAMA 
 
 IN 
 
 FOUR ACTS 
 
 BY 
 EDWARD STAATS DE GROTE TOMPKINS '^ 
 
 AUTHOR OF 
 
 Through David's Realm/' "An Honest Hypocrite, 
 "Protected Interests," Etc. 
 
 Copyrighted igi2 by E. S. De G. Tompkins. 
 
 BOSTON. 
 
 Printed by the Blanchard Printing Co. 
 
 1912 
 

 C!.D 28684 rC 
 
INTRODUCTION. 
 
 The public at present demands entertainment and instruc- 
 tion. Unfortunately no dramatic writer seems to have 
 succeeded in supplying both demands. When a play is stupid 
 it is labeled a problem play, and the public endures the 
 tedium. Wrong construction is condoned because of the 
 moral. But why is it not possible to have a problem in a 
 play properly constructed and fitted to please? The author 
 has that task in mind. The rules of dramatic composition 
 have been rigidly followed, and the problem has been made 
 striking, and, it is hoped, not tedious. The subject of this 
 play is WORTH versus WEALTH. 
 
DRAMATIS PERSONAE. 
 
 Annette Palmerston, a young American. 
 Earl of Tanguay, a young Englishman. 
 Reverend Houghton, an American clergyman. 
 Mrs. Houghton, his wife. 
 Lady Mary Johnson, a sister of Tanguay. 
 Mrs. Courtenay, who has great social influence. 
 Lord Nevers, her friend. 
 Baby, her daughter, very innocent. 
 Johnny, young, hence foolish. 
 Mrs. Bampton. a climber. 
 
 Mr. Bampton, a necessary attachment, and given to soliloquy. 
 Jeanette, Miss Palmerston's maid. 
 Monte, a valet. 
 Dumbell, a butler. 
 
 ACT I. 
 Scene. — Hall at Clampton, afternoon tea. 
 
 ACT H. 
 Scene. — Library, same evening. 
 
 ACT HI. 
 Scene. — ^Terrace, next morning. 
 
 ACT IV. 
 Scene. — Hall, shortly before luncheon. 
 
SCENARIO. 
 
 The Marquis of San Lucar is an American clergyman 
 who has inherited vast wealth from a long forgotten uncle 
 in South America, made a marques by Dom Pedro. His 
 wealth, something of a burden, gives him an opportunity 
 to study human nature in his true character— that of a 
 clergyman. He gets a cultivated young woman of great 
 personal charm to rent a large place in England, and gather 
 about her the leading society lights, and he and his wife 
 appear in simple guise. The story hinges on the love of 
 an impoverished Earl for the charming friend. The first 
 act shows the mutual impression they make on each other, 
 and owing to his pride and her lack of wealth the difficulty 
 of their marrying. The second act reveals the machinations 
 of a poor nobleman who, through a detective disguised as 
 his valet, discloses the fact that the heiress is not rich, and 
 raises the question of her character, by showing her bills 
 are paid by the marquis. The third act develops the plot, 
 and the confession of the clergyman leaves little room for 
 doubt that the original idea was true. This gives the earl 
 a chance to show his manliness, which he does. The fourth 
 act straightens out the tangle, and relieves the earl of the 
 suspicion she is not what she seems, and gives him an 
 opportunity to retrieve his fortunes without marrying for 
 money. 
 
 The climax in the first act is where the heroine is impressed 
 with the instinctive nobleness of the earl's character. 
 
 The climax in the second act is where he defends her 
 character in the face of evidence. 
 
 The climax of the third act is where he stands true to 
 his love in spite of seemingly overwhelming evidence. 
 
 The climax of the fourth act is where she learns that he 
 has stood true in spite of everything, and shows her devotion 
 to his noble character. 
 
HOLY LUCRE 
 
 ACT I. 
 
 Scene. — Hall at Clamp ton. Tea things arranged. Dumbell 
 enters and looks around. 
 
 Dumbell. When Hi took service at Clampton Hi came well 
 recommended, hand Hi thought it was ha juke Hi was to 
 serve. (Bangs a chair on the floor. Jeanette enters from 
 the other side.). 
 
 Jeanette. You 'ave a poor job eef I 'eer right, Meester 
 Dumbell. Jukes, as you call them, are veery poor picking. 
 
 Dumbell. Hi haint thinkin'. Miss, that juke his hany kind 
 of ha bird has you call hit 
 
 Jeanette. But they say ee was a bird, however. Ee used 
 
 to make the money fly an zen ee took to flying 'imself 
 
 Ha Ha. Zat ees vy we got zees place, don you see? 
 
 You Eenglis are so slow. 
 
 Dumbell. Hi haint slow. Miss. Hi can see things, hand 
 things hare mighty queer with that poor minister hand is 
 cheap wife. 'Ow hany respectable leddy can 'ave sich things 
 around Hi don't see. 
 
 Jeanette. Oh! you don Meester Dumbell, veil, I vill tell 
 you somezing. Ze leddy as you call her knows vat she es 
 about, see? (Pulling down one eyelid and gazing at Dumbell 
 mischieviously. He looks at her admiringly and tries to 
 catch her when Monte enters.) 
 
 Dumbell. Ho, Mister Monte, she his that haggravating ! 
 (Monte strokes his moustache and smiles.) 
 
 Monte. To you, perhaps ! I can't say I find her so. 
 
 Jeannette. You naughty boy! Just because I like boys. 
 Don't you believe him, Meester Dumbell. We were just 
 having a serious talk. Meester Dumbell says he only waits 
 on jukes. Forsooth. I say money is money, don't you? 
 
 Monte. Rather! and jukes are very poor just now. 
 
 Dumbell. (Miffed at their chaff.) So are ministers and 
 ministers' leddies. 
 
 9 
 
Jeanette. You needn't be sneering at ministers' leddies. 
 Miss Palmerston gives me two shillings every time I button 
 up the leddy's dress, and she tells me to be very polite, and 
 I am very polite when I get two shillings. So now, Meester 
 Dumbell ! (Making him a courtesy with a significant glance.) 
 
 Monte. (With a quizzical air.) She seems very fond of 
 her poor relation? 
 
 Jeanette. They aren't relations, just friends, and she says 
 they are such nice people. I like butter on my bread and I 
 like it thick. See? as the Americans says. 
 
 Monte. And these poor friends are the butter on your 
 bread? They look pretty thin to me. (With a contemptuous 
 air designed to draw her out. Dumbell listens intently.) 
 
 Jeanette. (With a toss of her head.) They are thick 
 enough for me ! 
 
 Monte. (With a sneer.) Two shillings don't seem very 
 thick to me. 
 
 Jeanette. No, but two pounds do to me ! 
 
 Dumbell. Two pounds ! Hi aven't seen two pounds from 
 a soul since Hi 'ave been 'ere. 
 
 Jeanette. That's because you live with a juke. In America 
 we would say juke rhymed with fluke. 
 
 Dumbell. Fluke ! (Shocked.) Fluke rhyming with 'is 
 grace. 
 
 Monte. (Still curious.) And where do you get your two 
 pounds from? I hope his reverence isn't forgetting his 
 cloth. 
 
 Jeanette. (Indignantly.) Never in this world, Meester 
 Monte. Never in this world ! I get all my money from my 
 dear mistress. Every time she tells me to be nice to the 
 poor friends she puts two pounds into my hand. 
 
 Monte. (Aside.) The deuce! His lordship will be in- 
 terested. She's generous. Generosity isn't human. Ameri- 
 cans are fools with their money. 
 
 Jeanette. Not too foolish for me. (Executes a pas de 
 seul.) 
 
 Monte. Hush ! they are coming. (All go out. Enter Baby 
 and Johnny.) 
 
 Baby. Oh ! Johnny, you are so naughty. 
 
 Johnny. T am? 
 
 10 
 
Baby. Yes. you haven't been near me for ever so long. 
 (Pouts.) 
 
 Johnny. Xow. sweetheart, don't fret. Why, I saw you 
 at lunch. 
 
 Baby. At lunch I Why. that was ages ago. 
 
 Johnny. Only three hours. 
 
 Baby. But you haven't said a word to me since 
 
 since 
 
 Johnny. Forgotten. I bet I 
 
 Baby. No I haven't. Xo I haven't. Xot since I had 
 that fatherly talk with old Mr. Bampton. So there! 
 
 Johnny. But I don't like your fatherly talks with old 
 Bampton. 
 
 Baby. (Jlciously.) X'or do I like your filial devotions to 
 Lady Mar}-. 
 
 Johnny. Lady Mary? Why. sweetheart, that's business. 
 
 Baby. I don't know what you mean. 
 
 Johnny. X'or I. (With a grin.) It doesn't mean any more 
 than those philosophical pow-pows X'evers has with your 
 m.amma. 
 
 Baby. Xow, Johnny, what do you mean? You mean some- 
 thing. ^I'ery impressiz-ely.) I am sure you mean some- 
 thing. 
 
 Johnny. I mean nothing much, but his highness doesn't 
 believe in philosophical conversations. He says they are very 
 bad for the morals. 
 
 Baby. Why. Johnny ! Morals ? I don't see how philosophy 
 can hurt morals. But I am sure the prince never talks 
 philosophy. 
 
 Johnny. So am I. What does he talk of to your mamma? 
 
 Baby. ^Opening her eyes wide.) Why, how do I know? 
 He never talks to me at all. Just pats me on the shoulder 
 and says, "now run along, little girl." 
 
 Johnny. And you run? (JVith a sneer.) 
 
 Baby. X'ow. Johnny, you are perfectly horrid. I don't 
 understand you at all. Mamma would not like your manner. 
 
 Johnny. And the prince does not bother any more with 
 you, I suppose? 
 
 Baby. Oh ! he kisses me sometimes Just in a fatherly 
 
 way. 
 
 11 
 
Johnny. I don't think fatherly ways are nice. 
 Baby. (Sharply.) No, nor I motherly ways. 
 Johnny. Come now, Baby, be nice, our various mentors, 
 
 examples Ahem! and guides will be with us in a minute. 
 
 Baby. I say, Johnny, you are a very naughty boy. 
 
 Johnny. Of course, sweetheart, I have no encouragement 
 to be otherwise. 
 
 Baby. Oh! Johnny, with Miss Palmerston and her 
 meenister, as Jeanette calls him? Why, Johnny, you are not 
 susceptible to a good example. I shall get the meenister 
 to talk to you. He will do you a lot of good. 
 
 Johnny. You don't believe in the meenister? 
 
 Baby. He is awfully good looking, and Jeanette is awfully 
 polite to him. And as for his poor unhappy wife 
 
 Johnny. (With interest.) Is she unhappy? 
 
 Baby. Why, Johnny, how can she be anything but un- 
 happy with those clothes? I could not live a minute with 
 them on. 
 
 Johnny. You sweet thing, kiss me! 
 
 Baby. I won't! Just think how I would look with them 
 on. 
 
 Johnny. Better than nothing! 
 
 Baby. Why, Johnny, I will tell my mamma. 
 
 Johnny. You will? 
 
 Baby. I will. And she will tell the prince, he'll tell his 
 grandmother, of course! (They both laugh.) But kiss me, 
 I'm ready. 
 
 Johnny. I'm not, I am afraid of the meenister. So there! 
 
 Baby. I think you are just horrid. I like Miss Palmer- 
 ston. She is really good. I'd like to be rich enough to have 
 a chaplain always about me. 
 
 Johnny. If he were good looking, you mean ! 
 
 Baby. Well. (Thoughtfully.) He would have to dress 
 better. 
 
 Johnny. And not have a wife! 
 
 Baby. Why, Johnny, what horrid ideas you do have! I'll 
 tell mamma and she will tell the prince and he 
 
 Johnny. I don't care a hang for the prince. 
 
 Baby. Oh ! Johnny. 
 
 Johnny. I don't care a hang for anybody but you. 
 
 12 
 
Baby. Not Miss Palmerston and all her money? 
 Johnny. Hang Miss Palmerston! Tanguay is going to 
 have her. Lady Mary said so. 
 
 Baby. Did she? I thought I heard mamma say Lord 
 Nevers was to have her. 
 
 Johnny. A big lot. What would your mamma do? 
 
 Baby. What do you mean, Johnny? Mamma doesn't have 
 to have Lord Nevers. 
 
 Johnny. (Drily.) I thought she did. 
 
 Baby. Oh! no, he's just a friend. Just like the prince. 
 
 Johnny. It must be very nice to have friends. 
 
 Baby. It is, very. (Innocently.) You know Mr. Bampton 
 is a great friend of mine. 
 
 Johnny. What? (Savagely.) 
 
 Baby. Why, Johnny, how you do burst out ! Please don't. 
 Mamma wouldn't like it. Her nerves are very sensitive. 
 
 Johnny. Oh! are they? 
 
 Baby. (Simply.) Yes, they are. 
 
 Johnny. I think I will marry Miss Palmerston myself. I 
 must have money ! 
 
 Baby. (Indifferently.) And she is so rich. 
 
 Johnny. And you would not care? 
 
 Baby. Of course not; not if you always love me, Johnny. 
 
 Johnny. I always shall ; but I say, Tanguay has got the 
 inside track. 
 
 Baby. Why so? 
 
 Johnny. Because he is so good. Why, do you know, he 
 doesn't even say damn? 
 
 Baby. You don't say! How lonely he must feel at times. 
 
 Johnny. I don't know, he talks a lot with your meenister. 
 
 Baby. Oh! that is to stand well with the heiress. 
 
 Johnny. He's crafty. 
 
 Baby. (Nonchalantly.) J really wonder who will get her 
 and the millions? Oh! Johnny dear, wouldn't it be nice if 
 we just had the millions, then mamma would approve, and 
 you could make faces at Lady Mary, and we could be so 
 happy. 
 
 Johnny. (Teasing.) You forget all about old Bampton. 
 
 Baby. Now, Johnny dear, you are the only one I ever 
 loved, and the only one I shall ever love. Never mind the 
 
 13 
 
Bamptons and so forth and so forth. Just love me. 
 
 There now, give me a good kiss. (He does, as Lady Mary 
 and Mrs. Bampton enter.) 
 
 Lady Mary. (Who hears a queer sound.) My dear, what 
 was that? 
 
 Baby. Only a slap I gave Johnny. He is so forward. 
 Don't you think, Mrs. Bampton, English young men are 
 perfectly horrid? (Johnny steals a piece of cake and grins. 
 Baby joins him in the corner.) 
 
 Lady Mary. As I was saying, Mrs. Bampton, society is 
 simply at a standstill, unless you have money. Really, I 
 suppose you never knew what poverty was? 
 
 Mrs. Bampton. (With a certain adoration.) Really, Lady 
 Mary, how can you speak that way? You know you are 
 rolling in wealth ! 
 
 Lady Mary. Yes, I have a little. But just between you 
 and me, I like you, Mrs. Bampton, you are so frank and 
 openhearted, Johnson really is very close. With all his 
 money, too! But as I was saying, now what was I saying? 
 Oh ! I know, we were so poor. If you could know how I 
 used to shiver at the castle. Oh ! it is all very well to live 
 in a real old castle, as you Americans put it, but what is 
 history, coats of arms and William the Conquerer got to do 
 with keeping warm, and having enough to eat? I have had 
 enough of aristocratic poverty ! A good square meal, as you 
 Americans say, cooked by a French chef, of course, and a 
 simple, storm-proof cottage, with some of your good Ameri- 
 can heating, is not at all bad. 
 
 Mrs. Bampton. Like Johnson Court, you mean, with three 
 hundred and fifty rooms ! 
 
 Lady Mary. Well. Johnson Court is like an hotel, but a 
 first rate hotel is not at all bad. 
 
 Mrs. Bampton. I think Clampton pretty nice. I wish I 
 had the money to own it. I do so envy Miss Palmerston. 
 
 Lady Mary. (With deep interest.) Where did she get her 
 money? 
 
 Mrs. Bampton. I really don't know. She came to me with 
 the very best letters. Really I was quite pleased that the 
 people who wrote them even remembered me. 
 
 14 
 
Lady Mary. I am greatly surprised to hear you speak 
 that way. There can be no one in America who would seem 
 to be doing you a favor, in your present position with us, 
 by introducing a lady. To be sure Miss Palmerston is very 
 brilliant, and very beautiful, and is certainly very rich, very 
 rich indeed. Otherwise she could never have taken Clamp- 
 ton for a long lease. Why, they say the upkeep is something 
 awful. It is no wonder the dear duke quite went to pieces, 
 even if he did take to aviation. 
 
 Mrs. Bam p ton. The letters did not speak of her wealth. 
 
 Indeed the people who are her friends in New York do 
 
 not at all care for money. 
 
 Lady Mary. How very odd, how very odd ! 
 
 Mrs. Bampton. It does seem odd in this day, I must 
 
 confess. Still, in America there is so much money, and money 
 
 grows so 
 
 Lady Mary. (Enthusiastically.) And money grows so 
 
 Mrs. Bampton. Yes, it grows, and grows 
 
 Lady Mary. (Making a motion with her hands.) It grows 
 
 and grows 
 
 Mrs. Bampton. That ofttimes a large fortune is quite 
 overlooked. 
 
 Lady Mary. How careless! (Enter Houghton.) Oh! see 
 him ! I cannot understand why he is here. 
 
 Mrs. Bampton. Quite natural. Our American girls are 
 very religious, and very devoted to their friends. 
 Lady Mary. (Puscled.) When they have no money? 
 Mrs. Bampton. Oh ! yes, indeed ! But Miss Palmerston 
 is really very simple and straightforward. 
 
 Lady Mary. Indeed ! She seems to me rather sarcastic 
 and cutting. 
 
 Mrs. Bampton. Oh ! you must not mind that. I really 
 think she is quite eprise with your brother. 
 
 Lady Mary. Do you? I hope so! I don't know what 
 he will do if she isn't. I have tried to marry him off a 
 dozen times, but he says the girl is too fat, or too lean, 
 or he hates vulgar wealth, or some other wretched thing. 
 Just as though one should think of such things when one 
 is marrying! Where would I be if I had such old-fashioned 
 notions? Well, I will tell you this, if he does not marry 
 
 15 
 
her I shall just let him go. I have done enough for my 
 family ! 
 
 Mrs. Bampton. I fancy Lord Nevers would be heart 
 broken. 
 
 Lady Mary. He couldn't be heartbroken so long as that 
 Courtenay woman lasts. It is perfectly disgraceful how they 
 act. And the prince, too, he must be blind. 
 
 Mrs. Bampton. (Confidingly.) I never understood quite 
 about the prince. 
 
 Lady Mary. Well, you needn't. If you want to get on 
 the less you understand some things the better. Only that 
 Courtenay woman will never get the prize for Nevers so 
 long as I live and breathe. (Clinches her hands as she rises 
 to greet Miss Palmerston, who enters.) We are so glad 
 you were not late. Where have you been? 
 
 Miss Palmerston. Just roaming around with Mr. Hough- 
 ton. He wanted to see the place. It is really so beautiful. 
 
 Lady Mary. Very grand, very grand indeed. He was one 
 of our greatest dukes. So sad, so sad ! Now, what was I 
 saying ? 
 
 Miss Palmerston. Something about the place. 
 
 Lady Mary. Oh ! yes, so grand. It would be so nice if 
 you owned it, I am sure the duke would sell it. 
 
 Miss Palmerston. (Embarrassed.) Indeed there is some 
 talk of its being bought, I believe. 
 
 Lady Mary. To be sure! Holy Lucre is after it, I hear. 
 How nice if he gets it! But you have it on a long lease? 
 
 Miss Palmerston. (Still embarrassed.) In a way, in case 
 it is not sold. 
 
 Lady Mary. Oh I indeed. Now, what was I saying? 
 (Houghton comes up.) You must have enjoyed your walk? 
 It must be very nice for you to see such a place? 
 
 Houghton. (Looking at Annette with significance.) Very 
 nice indeed, very nice indeed ! 
 
 Lady Mary. (Raising her lorgnette and staring.) Now 
 what was I going to say? 
 
 Houghton. (Turning away, and aside.) Heaven only 
 knows ! 
 
 16 
 
Miss Palmerston. You were going to say it is a very fine 
 place. It was so nice of the duke to happen to lose his 
 money at this time. 
 
 Lady Mary. Exactly. Now where is Tanguay? He is 
 never around when one wants him. 
 
 Annette. Alas! it is always so in life. Why should I 
 be an old maid when there are so many nice men in the 
 world ? 
 
 Lady Mary. (Eagerly and at once reverting to her favorite 
 topic.) To be sure. And Tanguay is so foolish! I assure 
 you in some things he quite lacks brains. 
 
 Annette. (Teasing.) Oh! does he? It is fortunate he is 
 not here just now. He would never do. 
 
 Lady Mary. (Who is very literal.) Please don't say that, 
 Miss Palmerston. All nice men lack brains. Now, what 
 was I going to say? All nice men never know how to take 
 care of themselves. 
 
 Annette. And that is why we women have such a great 
 responsibility, is it not? 
 
 Lady Mary. (Who is dense.) To be sure. If I had not 
 looked after Mr. Johnson, why, now what was I going to 
 say? Why, someone else would. I quite dread to think of 
 it, and the castle was so cold. I quite shiver when I think 
 of it. 
 
 Annette. That is why I introduced a heating plant here. 
 I have always heard that English aristocracy was so cold. 
 
 Lady Mary. Awfully! when we are at home! (Mrs. 
 Bampton comes up.) 
 
 Mrs. Bampton. Oh! Miss Palmerston, is it true that you 
 have begun negotiations for the purchase of Clampton? 
 
 Annette. Not exactly! I did enquire the price. I ordered 
 some improvements, it is true, but then they are not very 
 expensive. 
 
 Lady Mary. But you put in bath rooms and heating, and 
 I don't know what else. 
 
 Annette. (Somewhat embarrassed.) I believe they were 
 ordered. The place would be quite uninhabitable without 
 something done. 
 
 Lady Mary. But the expense! though, if money grows and 
 grows, as they say it does in your blessed country, the 
 expense is nothing. 
 
 17 
 
Annette. (Incautiously, and with a look at Houghton.) 
 That depends who pays the bills. 
 
 Lady Mary and Mrs. Bampton. (Together.) Oh, indeed. 
 (Lady Mary puts up her glass, and Mrs. Bampton looks 
 pussled.) 
 
 Houghton. It is fortunate it has been all arranged. Miss 
 Palmerston is a very clever business woman. All Americans 
 seem to possess the ability. 
 
 Lady Mary. (Staring through her glass.) I suppose it 
 is only women who have the gift. Men do not always seem 
 so fortunate. 
 
 Houghton. (Meekly.) Some men have other, and let us 
 hope, higher thoughts. 
 
 Lady Mary. Indeed, that does very well for the cloth, 
 Mr. Houghton, but other people must live. For the clergy, 
 as their minds are set on spiritual things, it does not much 
 matter if they live or not. Now does it, Mrs. Bampton? 
 (Turning away.) 
 
 Annette. You have a specimen of the real English aris- 
 tocrat ! 
 
 Houghton. Don't say that! Now. Tanguay does not 
 strike me at all as being that way. I think he is a fine 
 fellow. 
 
 Annette. He is her brother. They say certain traits run 
 .in certain families. The worst thing about him is his sister. 
 
 Houghton. But do you know, I have often noticed the 
 same families have members of exactly opposite types. I 
 shall continue to believe in him until I have certain proof 
 that he is not what I think him. 
 
 Annette. (Clasping her hands.) I do wish you were 
 right ! 
 
 Houghton. My dear Annette, you surprise me! I did not 
 think you had such an interest in him. 
 
 Annette. (Hastily.) I did not say I had. But I like him, 
 and yet how can I think him anything but a mere fortune 
 hunter? 
 
 Houghton. Well, you have yourself to blame, or rather 
 me! I think it is great fun, so will you. You are no longer 
 a silly school girl. 
 
 Annette. Thank you, I am not sure I was ever one! 
 
 18 
 
Houghton. We all have our veal-like days. You are quite 
 safe. I would not have exposed you to temptation had I 
 thought that you would have yielded. I am quite sure I 
 can trust you. 
 
 Annette. Are you quite sure? Perhaps, old friend, you 
 are right, but I should say never trust a woman's heart. 
 
 Houghton. Te te ta te ta. It would be too funny 
 
 if I started a romance. I have always been dying to have 
 one myself, and now to be right in the midst of something 
 exciting really rouses my ambition. I admit we have enough 
 villains. 
 
 Annette. That is all very well for you, but I am getting 
 sorry that I ever undertook this. 
 
 Houghton. I don't see why you should be, you certainly 
 have the chance of your life to study human nature. 
 
 Annette. I don't think I like human nature, it gets to be 
 fearfully tiresome. 
 
 Houghton. It is only for a short time. I am having a 
 fine time. I was never snubbed so in my life. (The tea is 
 brought in by footmen, and Dumbell superintends gravely. 
 The guests group themselves according to fancy. Annette 
 at the table.) 
 
 Annette. Pray, make yourself useful. (To Houghton.) 
 (He hands a cup of tea to Lady Mary, she puts up her 
 glass and surveys him.) 
 
 Lady Mary. Ah! how well you fulfill your calling! It is 
 to serve, is it not? Delicious tea we have here, Mrs. Bamp- 
 ton. Do you have as good in America? 
 
 Mrs. Bampton. I really have forgotten ! but we always 
 have sweet cream, and not skimmed milk. 
 
 Lady Mary. Oh ! yes, how nice, how very nice 1 Well, 
 I do think sweet cream is better than sour milk. I do assure 
 you, Mrs. Bampton, at Tanguay Castle one was glad to get 
 even sour milk. It is so dreadful to be poor, so very 
 dreadful! Now what was I going to say? 
 
 Houghton. I presume. Lady Mary, you were going to say 
 it must be nice for a poor minister to have sweet cream 
 instead of sour milk! 
 
 Lady Mary. Quite so, quite so. (Enter Mrs. Courtenay, 
 very much dressed and painted.) There comes that Courtenay 
 
 19 
 
woman ! What unlimited brass ! And all because of the 
 prince. 
 Mrs. Bampton. (Pleadingly.) Do explain the prince. 
 Lady Mary. (Raising her glass.) Really, Mrs. Bampton, 
 you might as well ask me to explain the reason of the 
 universe. I suppose it is just a question of self-preservation. 
 At any rate she looks well preserved. Now doesn't she? 
 (Much pleased with her little joke.) 
 Annette. You are just in time! 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. My dear, I can never miss my cup of 
 tea. Any meal but this. Really I dread the thought of 
 hearty food. (Houghton passes her a cup of tea. She stares 
 at him and takes it without speaking.) I do wonder where 
 the men are, dear Miss Palmerston? 
 
 Houghton. (With mischief.) You adhere to the saying 
 men, women and priests. 
 Mrs. Courtenay. (Contemptuously.) Certainly, why not? 
 Houghton. (With a smile.) You evidently care very little 
 about your soul. 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. My soul ! Indeed I am not sure I have 
 one. A soul is an unknown possibility. I prefer something 
 thoroughly well understood. 
 Houghton. (Meekly.) Money? 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. Yes, if you choose to put it in that vulgar 
 way. I do trust, Miss Palmerston, you are not going to 
 compel us to listen to sermons. 
 
 Annette. (Much amused.) Oh! no. none of us like 
 medicine. The more we need it the more we dread it, is it 
 not so? 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. Humph ! Perhaps you are right, I always 
 notice I can listen to a sermon much more contentedly when 
 my bills have all been paid. I suppose that is why you have 
 a chaplain. No amount of preaching could disturb you. 
 Annette. Are debts the only sins you encounter? 
 Mrs. Courtenay. Just about all, so far as I can think. 
 Annette. Then I should think you might be happy. 
 (Tanguay enters.) Mrs. Courtenay was saying she had no 
 sins but debts. 
 
 Tanguay. Can't say if I am so fortunate! Happily I 
 have no debts. They are a great mistake. They must worry 
 
 20 
 
a fellow a lot. As for sins, I have my share. A fellow 
 would be deucedly uninteresting without them. 
 
 Annette. Is that your only claim to interest? 
 
 Tanguay. Pretty nearly, any chap can have those. It is 
 for that reason I don't count for much. 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. How you ever get on without debts 
 passes my comprehension. 
 
 Tanguay. I repress myself. 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay.^ But that is such a nuisance. 
 
 Tanguay. Oh ! I don't know, one can be happy without a 
 lot of expenses. 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. Yes, but one must have the bare neces- 
 sities of life. . /rj- J 
 
 Tanguay. (Looking her over.) To be sure! (He and 
 Annette exchange glances.) 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. Come now, Tanguay, you are posmg. 
 
 Tanguay. No, I am not! 
 
 Mrs Courtenay. Well, you are not much like your sister. 
 
 Tanguay. Bless her heart, I am so glad I am not. Mary 
 must have money. It is like air to her. 
 
 Annette. (Aside.) I wonder if he is posing? He cer- 
 tainly does not look it. 
 
 Tanguay. I say, Mrs. Courtenay, you must not judge all 
 of us fellows by Nevers. Some of us can take a slow pace. 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. (Viciously.) I don't. Just why you 
 speak of him now I don't see. (Moving about.) 
 
 Tanguay. (With a smile.) Nor I. 
 
 Annette. You don't like Lord Nevers? 
 
 Tanguay. No, do you? (With interest.) 
 
 Annette. Oh! I? How can I tell? He is very polite, he 
 seems quite the thing. I understand he is accepted every- 
 where. Mrs. Bampton said it would be quite right to ask 
 him if I asked Mrs. Courtenay. I did not quite understand 
 what she meant. 
 
 Tanguay. (Looking at Annette with attention, then away.) 
 You did not? Don't seek to understand our ways. Money 
 
 does not seem to have spoiled you and don't let it! 
 
 Monev has been the curse of England. The lack of it is 
 the curse to-day. The English aristocracy has been educated 
 
 21 
 
to a plane of living which it is becoming more and more 
 difficult to maintain. It is misery, misery, I assure you ! 
 
 Annette. So far as I can see it appears an agreeable 
 misery. 
 
 Tanguay. To you, yes. You see the glitter, the smiles, 
 the cordiality, the bloom, but you do not see the tinsel, the 
 bitterness, the hatred, selfishness that is so deftly hidden. 
 You do not see a beautiful flower doctored, manipulated, 
 poisoned to present a base and meritricious appearance. 
 (They both glance at Mrs. Courtenay.) But I will say no 
 more. At least I wish you to believe us, that is — some of 
 us — are well bred. 
 
 Annette. I do not quite understand you, 
 
 Tanguay. It is not well bred for me to criticise your 
 guests to their hostess. 
 
 Annette. (Aside.) Is this man posing, I wonder? (To 
 Tanguay.) Please do take some more tea. 
 
 Tanguay. Thank you, I will, you make it just right. May 
 I ask if it is acquired skill or personality? 
 
 Annette. Which would you prefer it to be? 
 
 Tanguay. Hesitating, then suddenly.) Personality. 
 
 Annette. You prefer something I cannot help rather than 
 something that shows ability. 
 
 Tanguay. (Desperately.) Yes, in you. 
 
 Annette. In me? (Stammering.) I don't quite under- 
 stand. 
 
 Tanguay. (Confused.) Don't try. 
 
 Annette. But I am a woman, I am curious. 
 
 Tanguay. Yes, and curiosity has destroyed many a per- 
 son's happiness. 
 
 Annette. Your happiness or mine? 
 
 Tanguay. It might be mine. 
 
 Annette. If you continue this way you will be quite too 
 fascinating. 
 
 Tanguay. How? 
 
 Annette. First you admit you are a sinner, then you give 
 me an uncertain compliment and 
 
 Tanguay. And ? 
 
 Annette. (Confused.) I forgot. I will not add further 
 to your fascinations. 
 
 22 
 
Tangnay. (Humbly.) Please do! 
 
 Annette. (Looking at him carefully.) Other women can 
 do that better than I can. 
 
 Tanguay. Perhaps not to my taste. 
 
 Annette. Well, I shall not tell you. Perhaps Mrs. Court- 
 enay will. At any rate I will venture this much, if she can 
 be as frank with Lord Nevers she ought to be equally frank 
 with you. (Turning to Mrs. Bampton, who sits down be- 
 side her.) 
 
 Tanguay. (Rising, and aside.) What in the deuce is she 
 driving at? 
 
 Mrs. Bampton. (Whispering.) Isn't he nice? I do so 
 admire him. And I will take a little more tea. 
 Annette. Are Englishmen ever sincere? 
 Mrs. Bampton. (Nearly dropping her cup.) My dear! 
 Annette. Are Englishmen ever sincere when talking to a 
 woman ? 
 
 Mrs. Bampton. Now, my dear, is a man ever sincere 
 except when he is dealing in stocks or talking horse? 
 
 Annette. I don't know that he is, now that I think of it. 
 Perhaps that is why I never married. 
 
 Mrs. Bampton. Oh! is that it? I have wondered so 
 much, 
 
 Annette. You have? I did not suppose I was a matter 
 of such great interest. 
 
 Mrs. Bampton. Oh! but you are, you know. Why, with 
 
 all of 3-our advantages there, but I will not talk any 
 
 more. 
 
 Annette. Don't, or you will make me think you are no 
 more sincere than the men. 
 
 Mrs. Bampton. He has been talking to you? 
 Annette. Why, yes, as you just saw. 
 Mrs. Bampton. (Eagerly.) What did he say? 
 Annette. Now come, Mrs. Bampton, I surely could not 
 tell you. you know. But he did not propose! 
 Mrs. Ba 'Upton. (Disappointed.) Didn't he? 
 Annette. No, he didn't. Do you suppose he will? 
 Mrs. Bampton. Of course. 
 
 23 
 
Annette. I suppose so, they all do. I have hardly looked 
 at a man twice that he did not propose. If Lord Tanguay 
 did not propose I would marry him. 
 Mrs. Bampton. But, my dear, how could you? 
 Annette. Propose myself! 
 
 Mrs. Bampton. (Struck by a new thought.) Yes, why 
 shouldn't you? In your position it would be quite proper 
 I am afraid, though, he will make the mistake of doing it 
 himself. (Runs off. Mrs. Houghton enters and takes a 
 seat to one side. Annette perceives her and motions her to 
 have a cup of tea.) 
 Annette.^ Don't sit away off there! 
 
 Mrs. Houghton. Why not, I don't seem to be wanted any- 
 where else. (Enter Mr. Bampton. He takes no notice of 
 anyone and soliloquises.) 
 
 Bampton. Deuced queer! The old ladv in her element 
 Launched a new heiress. The supply will give out in the 
 States. Married one myself. It's better'n work, by gad! 
 
 I find It is very undignified to work, very very, indeed 
 
 Now she's got her heiress launched, got the Courtcnay and 
 all, swell up gang, got a suitable parti, got it all en train 
 
 and now the fun begins and what fun! Let me see 
 
 how many of these bloomin' heiresses has she landed already 
 on the long suffering, but still patient British public? 
 
 Annette. (Looking up.) Please have some tea, Mr. Bamp- 
 ton. 
 
 Bampton. Tea, tea. have some tea yes, that is it. It 
 
 IS tea and toast, and toast and tea, and another heiress is 
 gone, gone right to the bosom of the British public. 
 
 Annette. (Laughing.) As lambs to the slaughter. 
 
 Bampton. (Waking up.) Eh eh, as lambs to the 
 
 slaughter? Now, my dear Miss Palmerston, my wife hasn't 
 been slaughtered yet. I'm to be the victim when the time 
 comes. In fact I am nearly slaughtered now. thank you! 
 (Takes tea and turns away. Nevers enters.) Slaughter, well 
 slaughter isn't so very bad when you would otherwise die 
 of starvation. No, it would be rather nice for the chap 
 who gets Clampton. 
 
 Nevers. The chap who gets Clampton ! Your mind travels 
 far and fast, Bampton. The duke hasn't shed it yet. 
 
 24 
 
Bampton. He is as good as out of it, Nevers, as good as 
 out of it. 
 
 Nevers. As good as out of it? You take some stock in 
 this story that Miss Palmerston has bought the place? 
 
 Bampton. Yes, why not? She has a tremendous lot of 
 money, why shouldn't she buy it? 
 
 Nevers. No reason whatever, if she really has the money. 
 But there is a rumour that Holy Lucre is after the place. 
 
 Bampton. (Surprised.) Holy Lucre! you mean the Mar- 
 quis of San Lucar? 
 
 Nevers. Yes, he would be a formidable rival, even Miss 
 Palmerston could not outbid him. 
 
 Bampton. But San Lucar is a Spaniard. 
 
 Nevers. No, he is an American. 
 
 Bampton. You surprise me, an xA.merican, from South 
 America? 
 
 Nevers. No, from North America. He is from the States. 
 
 Bampton. You don't say? Tell me about him. 
 
 Nevers. Filthy Lucre, as some are pleased to call him, 
 was a poor man in the States, v.^ho learned one day a long 
 forgotten uncle had died in the Argentine leaving him a 
 fortune quite beyond belief in size. With this fortune went 
 the title of San Lucar, given by the Brazilian Emperor, and 
 confirmed by the King of Portugal. He seems an extra- 
 ordinary character, very eccentric, and, when he likes, ex- 
 ceedingly generous with his wealth'. So far very little is 
 known about him. For he appears little in public, but when 
 he does, surrounded by so much magnificence as to quite 
 take one's breath away — in short, another Monte Cristo. 
 
 Bampton. I see, just a vulgar rich. 
 
 Nevers. Quite the contrary, not at all vulgar, very 
 polished in his manner — indeed quite fascinating. 
 
 Bampton. But ignorant, I know. 
 
 Nevers. Neither vulgar nor ignorant. A cultivated, highly 
 educated, accomplished gentleman. 
 
 Bampton. And so poor 
 
 Nevers. Well, I am poor myself, so that does not count. 
 But here is the rub. I have means of knowing this Miss 
 Palmerston is not quite what she seems. 
 
 Bampton. (Astonished.) Not quite what she seems! 
 
 25 
 
Nevers. No, there is reason to believe that some one is 
 paying her bills. 
 
 Bampton. Paying her bills! Are you sure? 
 
 Nevers. Pretty sure. 
 
 Bampton. Not paying her bills? 
 
 Nevers. Well, don't mind that, I am not paying mine. 
 
 Bampton. But the old lady won't like that. I must get 
 her out of here right away. 
 
 Nevers. Oh! don't be in so much of a hurry. You 
 needn't go until I do. Besides, you are not paying your bills 
 either. 
 
 Bampton. (Aghast.) Not paying my bills, why 
 
 why 
 
 Nevers. The whole world knows 3'our wife is doing it. 
 So don't be squeamish. 
 
 Bampton. But who is paying her bills? 
 
 Nevers. How do I know? What I want to know is, if 
 she is able to pay her own and mine too. There is reason 
 in my madness. (Turns to Mrs. Courtenay.) 
 
 Bampton. (Solo.) I knew there was something up. There 
 always is where I go talking to myself. Strange what an 
 effect I have on things. Or is it that things have an effect 
 on me? Why, Baby! (Who comes up) where have you been 
 all this time? 
 
 Bahy. Just scolding Johnny. He is so naughty, so naughty. 
 I can't do anything with him. 
 
 Bampton. (Fatherly.) You poor child. You do have such 
 a time. I really feel for you greatly. 
 
 Baby. Yes, do feel a lot, and do it now while Johnny is 
 looking. Horrid boy, I don't like boys. 
 
 Bampton. (Pleased.) Great big men men like 
 
 Bahy. (Innocently.) Men like you. Yes, that's it. Men 
 who are not always naughty. Now come over here and bring 
 me a cup of tea. Naughty Johnny spoiled mine by putting 
 too much sugar in it. (They retire to the side. Annette 
 gets up from the table and Tanguay comes to meet her. 
 The others gradually disappear.) 
 
 Tanguay. You are not going ? Oh ! not so soon. 
 
 Annette. Is it soon? 
 
 26 
 
Tanguay. Why, it is altogether too soon. Yet I don't 
 know, perhaps not. 
 
 Annette. And yet not too soon. Really, you gave my 
 curiosity a severe strain just now. More and it will break. 
 Now why not too soon? 
 
 Tanguay. Oh ! I don't know. (Hesitating.) It is never 
 too soon to go away if one is about to do a foolish thing. 
 
 Annette. (Laughing, and sitting down. The rest have 
 disappeared.) I am quite sure nothing will move me now, 
 until the first bell rings. You see me fixed. You might as 
 well accept your fate. I shall probe your soul to the bottom. 
 (She motions him to a seat.) 
 
 Tanguay. (Aside.) What does she mean? She can't 
 intend to lead me on just to throw me over. She must 
 know I can't marry her. You are too good. A woman's 
 curiosity must be handled with care. I appreciate the 
 delicacy and the danger of the task. 
 
 Annette. Mine is great, I assure you. (Aside.) I am 
 dying to see how he will act. 
 
 Tanguay. I fancy it must be to come among us knowing 
 us so little, encountering the risks you do 
 
 Annette. The risks! I do not quite understand. You 
 persist in whetting my curiosity. The risks 
 
 Tanguay. Yes, risks. You come here a young girl 
 
 Annette. (Sadly.) Not quite so young. 
 
 Tanguay. Inexperienced 
 
 Annette. Not quite so much as you think. 
 
 Tanguay. At any rate with a feeling of security 
 
 Annette. Yes, that is true. But I am yet to see the 
 danger. 
 
 Tanguay. You come to a people that is not your people 
 
 Annette. I thought we were cousins. 
 
 Tanguay. Yes, but even cousins may be strangers. 
 
 Annette. But even strangers may be gentlemen. 
 
 Tanguay. True, but ideas of gentlemen may vary greatly. 
 Your standard and your idea of a gentleman may not be 
 ours. 
 
 Annette. Please explain. 
 
 27 
 
Tanguay. (Disquieted.) Why, for instance, take the matter 
 of marriage. With you I believe a woman never marries 
 unless she can love the man 
 
 Annette. That is hardly true, but go on. 
 
 Tanguay. While here it is quite different. Among us 
 marriages are arranged. Caring for each other weighs but 
 little. Other things count more. Money occupies a most 
 prominent place and 
 
 Annette. (Aside.) A most extraordinary way of propos- 
 ing. And why should it not? 
 
 Tanguay. True, it is a most necessary thing to keep up 
 appearances. 
 
 Annette. I quite agree with you. 
 
 Tanguay. It is quite possible for a man to marry wealth, 
 if he can find a woman foolish enough to take him. 
 
 Annette. (Encouragingly.) There have been such fools. 
 
 Tanguay. And there are likely to be a great many more. 
 
 Annette. (Astonished and aside.) Really this is most 
 extraordinary. 
 
 Tanguay. You are placed now in an atmosphere of pure 
 greed. You probably do not perceive it. 
 
 Annette. Outside of the servants, I had not noticed it. 
 
 Tanguay. You see English society at its best. Please 
 realize that. 
 
 Annette. (Much amused.) Is this a lecture or a warning? 
 
 Tanguay. Please, Miss Palmerston. (Rising) do not speak 
 that way. I know I am fit for your scorn. I know I am 
 in a bad light. I know I can seem to you nothing but what 
 my sister would have me appear. I know well your sarcasm 
 and brilliant wit, but do not pour out on me your contempt. 
 I do not deserve it, I do not. Believe me, will you not, that 
 I am a gentleman, and with God's help I will remain one. 
 It is my poverty which puts me in this position. It is that 
 wretched thing called family that makes me act like the rest. 
 Act as though there was nothing in the world but pretense 
 and a mad rush after gold. Please do think that there can 
 be one Englishman, yes, an English nobleman, who can be 
 a man, in the true English sense. 
 
 Annette. (Much moved.) I never thought you were - 
 
 any else. 
 
 28 
 
Tanguay. Oh ! you did, I saw it in your face, that face, 
 that sweet face, (She starts) distorted by a sneer, and I was 
 the cause of it. Don't fear me, I may be a fortune hunter, 
 I may be obHged to be one, but I will not have you think 
 that of me. 
 
 Annette. Why not have me think so if you are so? 
 
 Tanguay. My God ! I am not. If you knew how I have 
 detested my position, how I have longed to work, yes, work 
 with these unfit hands to earn an honest living, and leave 
 the miserable thing called rank, a rank without honor, with- 
 out dignity, without words. You are right in making the 
 mistake, I was wrong to come here. I know it now, I knew 
 it then. I have stayed too long, too long by far, if I have 
 earned your contempt. 
 
 Annette. (Hastily.) You have not. 
 
 Tanguay. There is only one thing to do, I must do it. 
 But I want you to consider what I have said and do me the 
 justice. It is no small matter for an honest man to have 
 the approval and respect of a noble woman. (The bell rings, 
 they rise.) Forgive me if I have been foolish, but it has 
 hurt so to think that you might despise me. 
 
 Annette. (Much moved.) I shall never despise you. 
 (Giving her hand, and an intense look. , Tanguay goes out.) 
 No, I shall never despise the only man I ever loved. 
 
 Curtain. 
 
 29 
 
ACT II. 
 
 Scene — Library, same evening. Enter Tanguay. Takes out 
 a cigar and lights it moodily. Moves around and knocks 
 things over. 
 Tanguay. Hang it. (Pauses and smokes vigorously.) 
 Hang it! (Sits down carelessly and looks dejected.) I am 
 sure she despises me. I made an ass of myself, as I usually 
 do. Heavens, Tanguay, why can't you ever learn sense, and 
 not go off like a rocket every time you happen to see a 
 pretty girl? (Smokes still harder.) I have read somewhere 
 about phlegmatic Englishmen, but, by gad, I never saw any. 
 That is, any that could stay so for very long. What a set 
 oi bottled up, pressed down, bubbling-over hypocrites we are 
 to be sure. We are not only hypocrites to the Almighty, but 
 to ourselves also. Heavens what a fool I have made of 
 myself ! I do so wish I had learned to swear. Coaxed by 
 that wretched sister of mine to come here, she knows I hate 
 vulgarity, money and vulgarity go together, I come to find 
 the finest v/oman I ever knew enshrined in her money like a 
 saint in an Italian halo, and as unapproachable as a 
 madonna. I am expected to act the hypocrite, to smirk, to 
 wheedle, to dangle that miserable earl's coronet — mine is made 
 of tin before her, and ask her to take down her mag- 
 nificent halo of gold, and put on a shabby tin affair made 
 to please the vulgar London mob. How like a fool I look 
 in it, and how like a fool I am with it. Then to complete 
 the horrid affair I must go and make a scene and act like a 
 schoolboy of sixteen, only to have her first jeer at me and 
 then be so kind as to pity me. I know it ! (Pause.) I will 
 
 swear damn She actually pitied me No, she 
 
 didn't, she laughed at me. (He walks about impatiently.) 
 
 (Pauses.) Damn I have simply got to go and I have 
 
 got to say good-bye. I can't do it before those people, not 
 
 before that beastly Nevers (He stops and thinks.) 
 
 Nevers he will think I have proposed and been refused. 
 
 Nice situation, isn't it? I'll stay (Walks around some 
 
 31 
 
more.) No, I can't. I simply can't. I must go, and I must 
 say good-bye, and I must say it to her alone. (He rings, 
 DuMBELL enters.) Oh ! Dumbell, I shall be leaving in the 
 morning. 
 
 Dumbell. Yes, my lord. 
 
 Tangiiay. By the eight ten. (Monte enters and stops.) 
 
 Dumbell. Yes, my lord. 
 
 Tangiiay. (Seeing Monte.) You here. 
 
 Monte. I was looking for Lord Nevers, my lord. 
 
 Tangiiay. Stay a moment, I have a word to say. (To 
 Dumbell.) Ask Miss Palmerston if I may speak with her 
 a moment. I wish to see her alone. (Monte starts.) 
 
 Dumbell. Yes, my lord, is that all? 
 
 Tanguay. It is, you may go. (Dumbell exit.) Now just 
 why did you happen in? 
 
 Monte. My lord! 
 
 Tanguay. What reason had you to suppose Lord Nevers 
 was in the library? 
 
 Monte. (Stammering.) I could not find him anywhere 
 else. He might have been reading. 
 
 Tanguay. You know he never reads. By the way, I know 
 all about you. 
 
 Monte. (Startled.) You know all about me? 
 
 Tanguay. Yes. You are the secret agent of Dunawar's 
 private detective agency. You do the valet act, the con- 
 fidential servant act, and you do it well. What the devil 
 you are here for I don't know, but I won't have you spying 
 after me, do you hear? Now go! (Monte bows and de- 
 parts.) That devil of a Nevers ! Go and leave Miss Palmer- 
 ston in the hands of the slickest set of rogues London can 
 produce? I won't yes, I will. It is none of my busi- 
 ness hang it, now I have got to go I have got to 
 
 go. I have asked Miss Palmerston here to say good-bye. 
 What could I say if I did not say good-bye? Heavens, 
 Tanguay, you are a fool. (Jeanette enters, and starts as she 
 sees Tanguay.) Well, what do you want? 
 
 Jeanette. (Confused.) I was looking for Mr. Monte, 
 Lord Nevers' valet. 
 
 Tanguay. (Astonished.) Looking for Lord Nevers' valet. 
 
 32 
 
Jeanette. Yes. (Stammering.) I had a message for 
 
 for 
 
 Tanguay. For whom? (Sharply.) 
 
 Jeanette. For Lord Nevers. 
 
 Tanguay. And why did you come to the library to see 
 Lord Nevers' valet? 
 
 Jeanette. Someone told me he was here. 
 
 Tanguay. That will do. (Exit Jeanette.) So she had 
 a message for Nevers' valet to give to him? What in 
 thunder is going on? I find an expert detective in the house 
 and this girl evidently having some understanding with him. 
 
 So Miss Palmerston sends notes to Nevers I wonder 
 
 why? They see each other as often, and where they like. 
 Nevers is a rascal. Can she ever be his dupe? That 
 Courtenay woman here too. In spite of her position, in 
 spite of the prince, she is not the woman for Miss Palmer- 
 ston to receive. The poor girl surely needs a protector. I 
 suppose she thinks with Mary here, and her friend, Mrs. 
 Bampton, she is well protected. But is she? (Enter 
 Annette.) 
 
 Tanguay. Oh ! I am so sorry to trouble you. 
 
 Annette. It is no trouble, I assure you. Please sit down. 
 (He sits.) 
 
 Tanguay. (Hesitating.) I only wanted to see you a 
 moment. It would have been rude not to. 
 
 Annette. Rude, why rude? 
 
 Tanguay. (Still hesitating.) Well you see I am leav- 
 ing in the morning. 
 
 Annette, Leaving in the morning! 
 
 Tanguay. Yes, I must go, and as I take an early 
 
 train I wanted to say good-bye. I could have written a note. 
 
 Annette. A note! 
 
 Tanguay. Yes, it would have been better, and then I 
 needn't have disturbed you. 
 
 Annette. It would have been better 
 
 Tanguay. Yes, it would have been much easier 
 
 Annette. (Hurt.) Easier? 
 
 Tanguay. You needn't have 
 
 33 
 
Annette. (Pausing.) I am afraid, Lord Tanguay, I do not 
 quite understand you. I had no idea you thought of leaving 
 so soon. Why, you have been here only a few days. I 
 thought you were to remain a couple of weeks. 
 
 Tanguay. Well, yes, I did expect to stay a while, but 
 
 Annette. But 
 
 Tanguay. Things have happened and I find I must go 
 
 in the morning. 
 
 Annette. You have business 
 
 Tanguay. No. 
 
 Annette. You do not like it here. 
 
 Tanguay. Oh! yes, I do, I like it very much. 
 
 Annette. You are bored. Perhaps you do not find our 
 company very entertaining. 
 
 Tanguay. Very much so indeed. 
 
 Annette. Then you have some business 
 
 Tanguay. No, no. Oh! I mean yes that is 
 
 (Aside.) I can't lie to her. (He walks away and pauses, 
 while she follows him with her eyes.) 
 
 Annette. You don't like me. (Slowly.) 
 
 Tanguay. Miss Palmerston ! 
 
 Annette. After what you said this afternoon I should not 
 have thought that, but perhaps you did not mean it. 
 
 Tanguay. (Distressed.) How can you say that? 
 
 Annette. It was very nice to hear that some one wanted 
 to be respected. I do myself. I thought a good deal of that 
 during dinner. But when I looked at you it seemed a desire 
 ior respect and approval must be a very unhappy feeling. 
 
 Tanguay. It is when one is not sure of getting it. 
 
 Annette. And are you not sure of getting it? 
 
 Tanguay. Not from the source I want it from. 
 
 Annette. You should have more faith in people, and more 
 faith in yourself. 
 
 Tanguay. How can I? I ask you how can I. placed as 
 I am? Bound down by trammels not of my making, kept in 
 by silly customs, placed in a vise as it were, how can I break 
 through them and put myself on a plane with a man who 
 can make a place in the world, and can make his life what he 
 would wish it to be? You say I am free, strong, inde- 
 pendent ! I say I am not free. I am one of a class and 
 
 34 
 
must do as that class demands, or become a pariah. It is 
 not so easy to become a pariah in the eyes of those you 
 love and know. How am I to know, if I burn my bridges 
 behind me, that I shall gain the victory? If I fail I am 
 utterly lost. It requires courage to do that, and I am not 
 brave, not brave enough to throw myself into outer darkness 
 without some chance of success. Ruined by a line of miser- 
 able ancestors, who thought more of themselves than of 
 anything else, I am expected to retrieve my fortunes by 
 marrying a woman for money. I won't ! I will not debase 
 myself to such a degree. My person is sacred to myself, 
 and I will not make it a miserable means to gild a tin 
 coronet. (Annette regards him with shining eyes.) You 
 don't know the sting of poverty, you know only the burden 
 of superfluous wealth. 
 
 Annette. Are you quite sure? 
 
 Tangiiay. Why should I not be sure? I am also sure 
 you pity me. Thank you for that. Even that from you is 
 something, but I won't be pitied. I am a man, and I will 
 remain one. Good-bye, Miss Palmerston, and forgive me for 
 making a scene and bothering you with my troubles. 
 
 Annette. Are you quite sure I pity you? 
 
 Tanguay. (Startled.) Sure I don't know, do you? 
 
 . Annette. No, I do not. 
 
 Tanguay. And why not? 
 
 Annette. Because I see no reason to pity you. 
 
 Tanguay. You don't? You don't think I am good enough 
 to be pitied. 
 
 Annette. (Rising.) No, I am proud of you. 
 
 Tanguay. Proud of me proud of me? You must be 
 
 daft! 
 
 Annette: No, I am not daft. I am feeling quite right. 
 Shake hands with me. I want to shake hands with a real 
 man. It will be very refreshing, after the hands I have 
 shaken lately. {He gives her his hand in amazement.) Now 
 I want you to countermand your directions for leaving and 
 finish your visit. (She rings.) I simply cannot spare you. 
 I shall not allow myself to be deliberately robbed of my 
 choicest guest. (Dumbell enters.) Lord Tanguay will re- 
 main, Dumbell, please tell his man. 
 
 35 
 
DumbelL Very well, my leddy. (Exit.) 
 
 Tanguay. No, stay, I say, Dumbell Oh ! he's gone. 
 
 Really I cannot stay, you don't understand. 
 
 Annette. Oh! yes, I do. I personally wish you to remain, 
 now do. 
 
 Tanguay. (Very much distressed.) But, Miss Palmerston, 
 
 you do not understand. Really I cannot remain. I must 
 
 oh! I must go. 
 
 Annette. (Smiling.) Business. 
 
 Tanguay. No yes, why I simply can't. 
 
 Annette. (Sitting down.) I am deeply interested in this 
 puzzle. I shall stay until my curiosity is gratified. Come now. 
 Lord Tanguay, you will do that much for me. 
 
 Tanguay. (Frightened.) You put me in an awful position. 
 
 Annette. (Sweetly.) Do I? Just think of the position in 
 which you put me. 
 
 Tanguay. (Surprised.) You ? I don't see you are in any 
 position. 
 
 Annette. Oh! you don't? Well, it seems to me if you 
 suddenly flee you are giving me something to explain. You 
 
 do not suppose my friends lack curiosity or even 
 
 a touch of malice sometimes? 
 
 Tanguay. I don't understand. 
 
 Annette. Well, what reason am I to give Mrs. Bampton 
 for instance why you left? I am in a way bound to make 
 matters straight with her. These people are her friends, 
 and if you suddenly disappear, these friends may conclude 
 
 Tanguay. Conclude well, they would conclude I went 
 
 away. 
 
 Annette. Yes, why did you go away? There must have 
 been a reason for this abrupt departure. What reason? 
 
 Tanguay. (Hotly.) It is none of their business. 
 
 Annette. I agree with you there, but they won't feel that 
 way. 
 
 Tanguay. Let them feel as they like. 
 
 Annette. But how will I feel? 
 
 Tanguay. You? You don't care. 
 
 Annette. I do care. I care a great deal. I want to be 
 treating my guests well, I do not want to have them think I 
 could be unkind to one of their number. 
 
 36 
 
Tanguay. But you haven't been. 
 
 Annette. But it will look so. 
 
 Tanguay. I'll be dashed if I see why. 
 
 Annette. (Slily.) What do you suppose Lord Nevers will 
 think? 
 
 Tanguay. Lord Nevers ! who cares a d diamond what 
 
 he thinks? 
 
 Annette. Well, I do! (With spirit.) 
 
 Tanguay. You do ? 
 
 Annette. I most certainly do. 
 
 Tanguay. (Thoroughly puzzled.) I can't see at all. 
 
 Annette. (Impatient.) You can't see even with glasses on. 
 Now tell, what would you think if Lord Nevers were to 
 leave suddenly without any reason whatever? 
 
 Tanguay. (Thinks.) Why I would think he had. 
 
 been such an unmitigated ass as to dare to ask for 
 
 the honor of your hand and been refused. 
 
 Annette. Well, what then? 
 
 Tanguay. Oh ! I see, but you haven't refused me. 
 
 Annette. I haven't had a chance. 
 
 Tanguay. (Struck dumb.) Miss Palmerston, you surely 
 
 I can't really quite get it through my thick head. You surely 
 do not want me to make you an ofifer of marriage for the 
 mere purpose of refusing me? Surely I am hard enough 
 hit already without that. 
 
 Annette. (Confused.) How could you think such a thing? 
 I said nothing of the sort. I said I did not wish you to 
 leave Clampton. 
 
 Tanguay. But I told you I could not stay. 
 
 Annette. But that reason I have not heard. (Mischiev- 
 ously.) 
 
 Tanguay. And I can't tell ! You don't want Nevers to 
 feel too proud of himself. Do you like Lord Nevers? (With 
 a sudden interest.) 
 
 Annette. I don't think you have a right to ask that 
 question. 
 
 Tanguay. (Jealously.) I hate him. 
 
 Annette. Lord Nevers is my guest. 
 
 Tanguay. Yes, I know. Pardon me, but you must let me 
 
 go. 
 
 37 
 
Annette. Not until you have given me a good reason. 
 
 Tanguay. Spare me ! 
 
 Annette. (Smiling.) Surely, Lord Tanguay, now that I 
 have frankly shown you what your abrupt leaving would 
 indicate, you could not want to put me in a false position. 
 
 Tanguay. You make it very hard for me, Miss Palmer- 
 ston. (He walks away.) 
 
 Annette. (Aside.) I can't let him go. I can't without 
 something. Just one little word. 
 
 Tanguay. (Returning.) I cannot say to you what I wish. 
 
 Annette. Why not? 
 
 Tanguay. Because you said it is not nice for you to hear 
 things about your guests. 
 
 Annette. You wish to abuse Lord Nevers? 
 
 Tanguay. (Jealously.) You like him? Of course I would 
 not abuse him. 
 
 Annette. How do you know I like him? 
 
 Tanguay. (Rashly.) You prefer him to me. 
 
 Annette. (Severely.) You have no right to say that. In- 
 deed you go too far. You are both my guests. I have hardly 
 had time to like or dislike either of you. People do not 
 rush to such violent conclusions in this age. That belongs 
 to the time when they really wore coronets. Now, I have 
 never seen either you or Lord Nevers in yours, so I cannot 
 judge. Are they really so very becoming? (He notices the 
 amusement in her voice and resents it.) 
 
 Tanguay. I know I am a fool ! Surely I prove it often 
 enough. 
 
 Annette. I don't think anything of the sort, Lord Tanguay. 
 But I must ask you to stay for my sake. 
 
 Tanguay. (Looking at her curiously.) For your sake? 
 Just to spare your feelings perhaps your pride. 
 
 Annette. (Laughing.) Hardly my pride. Perhaps it 
 would be better to say your pride. 
 
 Tanguay. Oh ! I have no pride. 
 
 Annette. (Tauntingly.) Just want to leave the field to 
 the enemy? 
 
 Tanguay. (Thinking.) Hang it, not to Nevers no. 
 
 Oh ! please let me go. 
 
 Annette. But what will the servants say? 
 
 3« 
 
Tangiiay. Hang the servants! 
 
 Annette. We often wish to, but a misguided government 
 forbids. 
 
 Tanguay. (Bursting out.) Miss Palmerston, don't you see 
 you are driving me to desperation? Don't you see you are 
 inflicting on me utter misery? Can't you learn that I cannot 
 stand this much longer? Something will surely break. Oh! 
 please do stop tormenting me this way. 
 
 Annette. (Frightened, and rising.) Tormenting you, Lord 
 
 Tanguay? I have no thought of tormenting you. I I 
 
 do not even wish to put one thing in the way of your 
 happiness. I I 
 
 Tanguay. (Carried away by his love.) You don't, not one 
 thing? 
 
 Annette. (Gasping.) No not one thing. 
 
 Tanguay. You can't mean it (She turns away.) I see 
 
 you do not mean it. You think you have hurt me and you 
 are sorry. Are you sorry? 
 
 Annette. Sorry yes I am sorry. Yes sorry. 
 
 Tanguay. (Bitterly.) Pity, just pity. I knew it was pity. 
 
 Annette. Pity, no it isn't pity. 
 
 Tanguay. Not pity, then for heaven's sake what is it. 
 
 Annette. (Trembling.) I don't know. 
 
 Tanguay. You don't know? 
 
 Annette. (Dropping on a couch and beginning to sob.) 
 
 No no. I don't know. (Silence. Tanguay gazes at her 
 
 in bewilderment. She continues to sob, while he walks up 
 and down.) 
 
 Tanguay. (Stammering.) I am so sorry I hurt your feel- 
 ings. I did not mean to do so. Please forgive me. 
 
 (Annette tries to control herself.) I am just a man 
 
 (Silence.) I want to be a decent man. (Silence.) I 
 
 I want to be a good man but, hang it, it is very hard 
 
 work. 
 
 Annette. (Drying her tears.) Forgive me. Lord Tanguay, 
 for beinc weak, but really it hurt to have you speak so. 
 
 Tanguay. I am so sorry, forgive me. 
 
 Annette. Of course I forgive you, but (Catching her 
 
 breath.) you conclude too quickly that young women with 
 money have no nerves. 
 
 39 
 
Tanguay. Nerves? 
 
 Annette. Why why yes. Nerves! vou men think 
 
 we poor women, who have a little to live on, are just brazen 
 Jezebels. And we are not! 
 
 Tanguay. (Aghast.) I never thought anything of the 
 kind. 
 
 Annette. I am quite sure you did, in fact I know it. 
 
 Tanguay. Miss Palmerston, you are unjust. 
 
 Annette. Yes. call me names if you like. I know I deserve 
 
 It. 
 
 Tanguay. But, Aliss Palmerston. I simply protest. I had 
 no such intention. I only want to please you. 
 Annette. Then stay. 
 
 Tanguay. Do you want me to remain when you under- 
 stand so well why I came, and also what my honor requires 
 of me? 
 Annette. I want you to stay. 
 Tanguay. You want me to stay for your sake? 
 Annette. Yes, and also for your own. I do not want vou 
 to be put m a false light. 
 
 Tanguay. But if I stay I do put myself in a false light. 
 Annette. I don't see how. 
 
 Tanguay. Why I appear (Hesitating.) I appear to 
 
 be seekmg vulgar wealth, and seem to think you are so 
 cheap a woman that you would be willing to sell vourself 
 for a title. 
 Annette. You mean trade. Well I am not. 
 Tanguay. I know you are not. Do you not then see if 
 I stay I am putting you in that position? 
 
 Annette. But I am accustomed to that. Everybody does 
 that, one more does not count. 
 Tanguay. But that is not the point, at least with me. 
 Annette. Oh! you are not so unselfish then? 
 Tanguay. By no means. 
 
 Annette. (Brightening up.) Oh! then vou are going to 
 tell me? 
 
 Tanguay. (Exasperated.) Yes, I will tell you. You know 
 I love you, and have made it quite plain enough. (Annette 
 looks happy.) You have been determined to make me say 
 It. and now I hope you are satisfied. 
 
 40 
 
Annette. (Troubled.) I don't know that I am. 
 
 Tanguay. I knew it, I knew it. You wished to complete 
 the wreck. Well, I trust you will now let me go. For there 
 is certainly no reason for me to remain. 
 
 Annette. But you have not been refused yet! 
 
 Tanguay. Miss Palmerston, do you wish so much to 
 refuse me? 
 
 Annette. No, indeed, I have no wish of that nature. 
 
 Tanguay. But, then, what do you want? 
 
 Annette. (Rising.) Lord Tanguay, there is one thing I 
 do not want, I do not want your tin coronet. 
 
 Tanguay. You affront me. 
 
 Annette. Far from it. Don't ask me what I want. It 
 doesn't sound nice for a woman to say she wants a man, 
 but if I ever do marry, which seems extremely unlikely, I 
 do want a man. Lord Tanguay, you have proved yourself 
 a man. 
 
 Tanguay. Miss Palmerston, I don't understand you 
 
 don't mean you want me? (Hopeful.) 
 
 Annette. You are not the only man in the world. 
 
 Tanguay. (Downcast.) Yes, I know, yes, of course. Miss 
 Palmerston, forgive me. 
 
 Annette. (Impatiently.) Lord Tanguay, you do me the 
 honor to say you are in love with me. Frankly I am glad 
 of it. 
 
 Tanguay. You are? (Puszled.) 
 
 Annette. Yes, and I am proud of it. It will be one of 
 
 my choicest memories. It will be something (Aside.) 
 
 oh! he is hopeless; self-depreciation in a man is a mistake. 
 
 Tanguay. (Bitterly.) I shall be one of a family portrait 
 gallery. 
 
 Annette. Oh! Lord Tanguay, did you ever love any other 
 woman ? 
 
 Tanguay. Never ! 
 
 Annette. Well, I never loved any other man. 
 
 Tanguay. Annette ! 
 
 Annette. (Hastily and in confusion.) But that is not 
 saying I love you. 
 
 Tanguay. Oh! Annette, Annette! (Seizing her hand.) If 
 you could care a little bit. Just a little bit for me. 
 
 41 
 
Annette. Please let me go, oh! please. 
 
 Tanguay. I can't. Tell me, can't you ever love me just 
 a little? 
 
 Annette. What is the use, you say you can never marry 
 me. 
 
 Tanguay. Yes, I know, but don't let us think of that now. 
 Will you try? I know I am nothing at all. Just a poor fool 
 who thought 
 
 Annette. Yes, just a nice one. (They hear steps.) Hush. 
 
 Tanguay. Just one word ! 
 
 Annette. Oh! I cannot say now just a word. There is a 
 reason. (Enter Nevers.) There! (She pushes him away 
 just as Nevers sees them.) 
 
 Nevers. Oh ! pardon me, I trust I am not interrupting 
 you. (With a faint sneer.) 
 
 Annette. No, indeed. Lord Tanguay was saying good-bye. 
 I am trying to get him to remain. (The men glare at each 
 other.) 
 
 Nevers. I should not think you would find that very 
 difficult. 
 
 Annette. But I do. (Vivaciously.) I do indeed. He is 
 quite obstinate. (Nevers smiles viciously.) 
 
 Nevers. Do stay, Tanguay, don't go just yet. Stay and 
 have some fun. 
 
 Tanguay. (Shaking his fist at Nevers behind Annette^s 
 back.) I don't know, but I will. Perhaps there will be 
 more fun than you expect. 
 
 Annette. Oh! I am so glad. Lord Tanguay, thank you. 
 
 Tanguay. I will stay if you bid me. Now I will say good 
 night. 
 
 Annette. Good night. (Tanguay exit.) Well, Lord 
 Nevers, I never dreamed men ever left the smoking room 
 when they were once in it. 
 
 Nevers. Tanguay left, why not I? (With meaning.) 
 
 Annette. Oh! that was different. He was going away. 
 
 Nevers. Oh! so soon, why should he be going away so 
 soon? 
 
 Annette. How can I know his reasons? 
 
 Nevers. He must have given some excuse. 
 
 42 
 
Annette. And if he did, Lord Nevers, why should you 
 be interested to know? (With some surprise.) 
 
 Nevers. I am not altogether sure I was interested, Miss 
 Palmerston. In fact I was not. Tanguay is a good fellow. 
 (With a slight accent of pity, which Annette notes and 
 resents.) 
 
 Annette. (Warmly.) Yes, a mighty good fellow. I like 
 Lord Tanguay very much. 
 
 Nevers. Ah! that is lucky for him. (Aside.) Poor chap, 
 got left, and she is sorry. But why don't you sit down, Miss 
 Palmerston? (She hesitates, and then sits.) 
 
 Annette. Is it not getting late? 
 
 Nevers. Not for grown ups. We have sent Tanguay to 
 bed, now we can sit up a while. 
 
 Annette. You seem to class me in the same antidiluvian 
 class with yourself, Lord Nevers. 
 
 Nevers. (Laughing.) Come now, that is a good joke. I 
 suppose I do look a little old. Late nights do not keep 
 away grey hairs. Now Tanguay, poor chap, in his lonely 
 castle, goes to bed, I fancy, at nine. 
 
 Annette. (Annoyed.) I don't see any reason for bringing 
 Lord Tanguay up all the time. He has gone to bed, let him 
 sleep. 
 
 Nevers. (Pleased.) Yes, let him rest. We have other 
 things to talk of, haven't we? 
 
 Annette. Have we, what? 
 
 Nevers. Well, I have. Perhaps I might interest you 
 enough to think that you have. 
 
 Annette. (Amused.) Do please try. 
 
 Nevers. (Flattered as she sits down.) Yes, I will try. 
 I may not succeed, but even the humblest may try, may they 
 not? (Looking at her tenderly. Annette is silent.) You are 
 not interested, perhaps? 
 
 Annette. Oh! yes, I am. I was just waiting. 
 
 Nevers. Well, you come among us. Miss Palmerston, and 
 find a new world. (Somewhat patronizingly.) 1 presume the 
 States do not appear just the same in your eyes as they did. 
 
 Annette. Why not? 
 
 Nevers. Oh ! here you have a civilization 
 
 Annette. I think we are civilized in the States. 
 
 43 
 
Nevers. I did not mean that. I meant you find here an 
 older and riper 
 
 Annette. You don't mean rotten? 
 
 Nevers. (A little dashed.) Oh! a more complete 
 
 eh I mean something that has reached its ideal has 
 
 accomplished all that, which you in the States are aiming 
 for. 
 
 Annette. Yes, I know, I see. You think we are crude. 
 
 Nevers. Well. yes. I suppose I do think, as a nation 
 perhaps, your people have not yet acquired all the polish, 
 
 the refinement, the subtle something, say say well, 
 
 something final, complete eh well, something like our 
 
 society, our nobility. 
 
 Annette. No, I don't think we have. You don't mean 
 we have got to the top, and are just ready to fall over 
 the other side? 
 
 Nevers. No, I don't mean that, of course not. You don't 
 have to fall off the top of a mountain when you have once 
 got to the top. 
 
 Annette. No, but you have to climb down occasionally, 
 when you want something to eat. 
 
 Nevers. Haw haw Poor Tanguay ! I believe Lady 
 
 Mary says she used to go hungry it was very sad, haw 
 
 haw 
 
 Annette. (Indignant.) Oh ! Lord Nevers, is your coronet 
 made of tin? 
 
 Nevers. Tin, my coronet made of tin? Good gracious. 
 Miss Palmerston, what ever put that idea into your head? 
 
 Annette. What is it made of? 
 
 Nevers. My coronet? why, I don't know. I never saw it 
 but once. 
 
 Annette. (Appearing startled.) It wasn't in pawn? 
 
 Nevers. Miss Palmerston, you affront me. 
 
 Annette. Oh ! no. I don't. I didn't mean to. But you 
 gave me such a surprise. One of our papers, they do say 
 such horrid things, said so many of the nobility had to get 
 their coronets out of pawn for the coronation, that when 
 you said you had only seen it once. I was quite surprised 
 out of my good manners. Do sit down. Lord Nevers, and 
 forgive me. (He sits.) Now let us go back to the starting 
 
 44 
 
point. You were kindly telling me how rotten no, I mean 
 
 how very ripe, the English nobility is. Perhaps that is why 
 they are so often plucked. 
 
 Nevers. (Laughing.) Oh! I see you are just jollying. 
 You American girls are the deuce, don't you know. (Ad- 
 justing his eye glass.) 
 
 Annette. (Sweetly.) Are we? 
 
 Nevers. We never quite know how to take you. You say 
 so much and mean so little. 
 
 Annette. Oh! do we? Perhaps we say a great deal and 
 mean a lot more. 
 
 Nevers. Oh! no, not quite that, you couldn't do that. 
 Annette. Why not? 
 
 Nevers. One can't possibly mean such an awful lot, don't 
 you know. 
 
 Annette. Oh! (Significantly.) 
 
 Nevers. (Self -complacently.) You undoubtedly have great 
 things in the States, very great improvements in many ways. 
 
 Of course we must ofttimes seem a little old-fashioned 
 
 a little, I suppose, what you call behind the times. But, 
 then, if our houses are not properly heated; Lady Mary can 
 
 never get over the shivers she had at Tanguay. Haw 
 
 haw. 
 
 Annette. I don't think I would mind a cold castle if a 
 warm heart went with it. 
 
 Nevers. You wouldn't mind, oh ! aw must it be 
 
 a castle? 
 
 Annette. (Impatient.) It need not be anything, if there 
 is only the warm heart. 
 
 Nevers. Oh ! aw really how you Americans 
 
 do go in for heat, don't you know. 
 
 Annette. (Controlling herself.) Wie do rather like 
 warmth. It seems rather a crude idea, I suppose. Cold 
 calculation seems to go with a complete civilization, does it 
 not? 
 
 Nevers. Oh ! no, Miss Palmerston, not altogether. You 
 quite misunderstand us. Now what you are pleased to call 
 cold calculation is only a natural pride, a desire for some- 
 thing above that which is common. 
 
 45 
 
Annette. Do your peers always keep such noble senti- 
 ments well in mind? 
 
 Nevers. (Adjusting his glass.) Pretty generally, Miss 
 Palmerston, pretty generally. You see (With a grand air) 
 it would never do for us as a class to allow those beneath 
 us 
 
 Annette. What do you mean by "those beneath us," Lord 
 Nevers ? 
 
 Nevers. (With self-assurance.) Naturally the middle and 
 lower classes. Every society, that is every well-ordered 
 society has classes. Why, even you in your country have 
 those you look down upon. 
 
 Annette. I fear we do, but they usually deserve it. 
 
 Nevers. Exactly, they deserve it. Not having the ad- 
 vantages of culture and refinement they naturally show their 
 imperfections, and so are incompetent to assume a command- 
 ing place in society. You say, for instance, in marrying you 
 would want a man. 
 
 Annette. Oh! yes. of course. But I would not refuse a 
 duke just because he was a duke, you know. 
 
 Nevers. Refuse a duke ! (Aghast at the thought.) I 
 should think not. 
 
 Annette. But people have. 
 
 Nevers. Refused a duke ! Impossible ! 
 
 Annette. (With significance.) I happen to know it can be 
 done. 
 
 Nevers. You know it can be done. Really, Miss Palmer- 
 ston. I cannot quite understand 
 
 Annette. I see you cannot, so we will talk about something 
 you can grasp more easily. 
 
 Nevers. Grasp more easily? Oh! haw haw. 
 
 Annette. You seem amused? 
 
 Nevers. I am. Haw haw. So you refused the duke, 
 
 haw haw. Poor duke. 
 
 Annette. If you mean the Duke of Clampton, I did not. 
 I did not have the opportunity. 
 
 Nevers. No, oh! no, of course not. Qampton is out of 
 the running. Of course I forgot. 
 
 Annette. Out of the running, I don't understand? 
 
 Nevers. Married already, they say, something common. 
 
 46 
 
Annette. How sad! 
 
 Nevers. Yes, very sad, very indeed. Such opportunities! 
 Yes, very sad. 
 
 Annette. Opportunities. What opportunities? 
 
 Nevers. Being a duke don't you know. Only a few 
 
 dukes. Mostly picked up by Americans. But aside from his 
 title Clampton isn't much. 
 
 Annette. He is not much to look at. 
 
 Nevers. No, not much ! Little man. (Draws himself up, 
 supremely conscious of his fine figure.) Not a man, ha 
 
 Annette. Not quite. He came to see me. Something about 
 the place, he said. He remained rather long. I referred him 
 to my agent. But it had no effect on him. 
 
 Nevers. Haw haw. Clampton is rather dull. 
 
 Annette. I did not know he was married or I might have 
 been rather more polite. In fact I felt rather sorry for him. 
 
 Nevers. Sorry for him ! Sorry for a duke ! Really you 
 Americans are a most extraordinary people. 
 
 Annette. But he looked so poor. 
 
 Nevers. Poor! I am surprised! Why he ruins himself 
 with clothes. 
 
 Annette. Exactly, it seemed so sad for him to put all his 
 money into dress and have to rent his home. Besides, his 
 clothes made him look so insignificant. It was really pitiable. 
 I thought of Crecy and Agincourt and wondered how those 
 good old warriors would have dropped off their horses had 
 they ever seen their miserable descendent. 
 
 Nevers. Miss Palmerston, you certainly are original. I 
 should never have supposed anyone would have thought of 
 that. It is no wonder he is so taken with that music hall 
 singer. They say she is quite common. 
 
 Annette. But I thought you just said something about 
 being able to look down upon the middle classes. 
 
 Nevers. Oh! aw now did I? Well, you see we 
 
 don't always quite live up to our position. It is true. Miss 
 Palmerston, that some of us lapse. Not all. Now dukes, 
 you know, have a little too much rein. They sometimes 
 
 forget their position. But we lesser ones well, we try 
 
 to be men. (Straightening his figure.) Such men as you 
 yourself might admire. 
 
Annette. But, Lord Nevers, if you have gained the idea 
 that I want to marry marry a guardsman's uniform 
 
 Nevers. No, no, not a uniform, no, not a uniform, but the 
 man under it. 
 
 Annette. I don't quite see, Lord Nevers, where you gained 
 the idea that I wanted to marry at all. 
 
 Nevers. Marry why marry, we must all marry, it is 
 
 the lot of man. 
 
 Annette. You mean the fate of women. 
 
 Nevers. Haw haw well, how many women are 
 
 ready to meet their fate, haw haw. Quite rush to it, 
 
 don't you know. Really you American girls have such a 
 delightful sense of humor. Really that sounds just like Joan 
 of Arc haw haw. 
 
 Annette. (Smiling.) I am sorry if you think I have any 
 desire to be a martyr, I haven't. 
 
 Nevers. No, no, of course not. We could never let you. 
 You come among us as our guest. We would never make 
 you a martyr. 
 
 Annette. (With malice.) Thank you, Lord Nevers, for 
 that. I now feel safe. 
 
 Nevers. Safe! why, bless you, you are quite safe with 
 us. (Getting nearer.) You don't really know. Miss Palmer- 
 ston, how deep an interest we all take in you. 
 
 Annette. You are so kind. 
 
 Nevers. We mean to be kind. We all mean to be kind, 
 and some wish, perhaps, to be kinder than the others. 
 
 Annette. (Pleasantly.) That is nice, nobody dislikes 
 kindness. 
 
 Nevers. (Much encouraged.) I am sure, Miss Palmer- 
 ston, I can hardly express the interest I take in you. 
 
 Annette. Oh! well, if it is a great effort, don't do it. 
 
 Nevers. But it is not an effort. 
 
 Annette. Oh! I thought it was! What is it then? 
 
 Nevers. It is haw haw well, it is not easy to 
 
 put into words, that is, in the right words. You see things 
 
 must be put into right words you know to make 
 
 the proper impression. 
 
 Annette. (A little frightened.) I think it is getting very 
 late. Really 
 
 48 
 
Nevers. Don't go. I assure you it is not late. 
 
 Annette. But I think (Rising) you mistake. I am sure I 
 heard the clock strike twelve. 
 
 Nevers. But just stay a moment, I have something quite 
 important to say to you 
 
 Annette. I think I heard a step, hush ! I do. Goodnight, 
 Lord Nevers, I hope you will sleep well. 
 
 Nevers. But I may speak to you tomorrow? 
 
 Annette. (Hastily.) Yes, tomorrow. (Exit, and Monte 
 enters.) 
 
 Nevers. Well ? 
 
 Monte. I have tried to find you before, my lord. 
 
 Nevers. You have learned something? 
 
 Monte. Yes, my lord. 
 
 Nevers. Well, out with it. 
 
 Monte. Well, my lord, she isn't worth anything. 
 
 Nevers. What, not worth anything? You h^ve made a 
 mistake ! 
 
 _ Monte. No, my lord, I have positive proof that some one 
 IS paymg her bills. 
 
 Nevers. Bills, you scoundrel, what do you mean? 
 
 Monte. (Affronted.) I beg to remind your lordship I am 
 not a servant. 
 
 Nevers. Yes, yes, I know. But it is inconceivable. Some- 
 one IS paymg her bills? Who would ever put up for Qamp- 
 ton? I tell you, Monte, you are on the wrong track. 
 
 Monte. No, I am sure. I have seen the proof with my 
 own eyes. (Thinking.) Perhaps I can get the proof for a 
 moment, but only for a moment. I am certain, my lord 
 I know some one pays her bills. I will hurry. You remain 
 here. Only just for a moment, for you to see (Evit ) 
 
 Nevers. Heavens, what an escape! But it can't be 'true 
 No man would ever put up for Clampton. Why, the idea 
 is simply absurd. (Enter Mrs. Courtenay.) My dear I 
 am so glad you came in. 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. I have wondered where you were I 
 supposed you were doing your duty. So I did not hunt you 
 up. I just saw Miss Palmerston going to bed. Oh f do tell 
 me, did she accept you? 
 
 Nevers. No, thank God, she didn't have the chance. 
 
 49 
 
Mrs. Courtenay. Oh! Nevers, what a fool you are! You 
 simply have got to get married. I actually cannot get the 
 prince to give another penny. He is so mean. Actually gets 
 my bills and adds them up. Could there ever be anything 
 so low? 
 
 Nevers. My dear damn the prince. 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. But I can't, you know that, and you can't 
 either. Now what are you going to do? 
 
 Nevers. Heaven knows, I had a jolly miss. 
 Mrs. Courtenay. Do explain ! 
 
 Nevers. She hasn't a penny ! Some one pays her bills. 
 Mrs. Courtenay. (With a scream.) Oh ! never, never, it 
 is impossible. It can't be! No, no, what with Qampton? 
 I never heard of such a thing. Why, she has the very best 
 of letters. Mrs. Bampton told me so. Not even a parvenue. 
 Actually has money and isn't vulgar. Now don't tell me, 
 Nevers. I know the world, she isn't that kind. 
 
 Nevers. That kind ! There are all kinds. It is only money 
 enough, my dear, you know that. 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. Now don't throw that at me. I do the 
 best I can, but the prince is different. I tell you it isn't so. 
 Nevers. Well, we will soon have the proof ! 
 Mrs. Courtenay. The proof! what proof? 
 Nevers. Why, Monte, my valet. He is really a detective, 
 goes on that business. 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. Why, Nevers, you dear. I never sup- 
 posed you had so much sense. 
 
 Nevers. Oh! I don't think I am such an awful fool. 
 (Enter Lady MaryJ Well, it is a nice chase you are in. 
 Lady Mary. Chase ! Me in ! Lord Nevers, you surprise 
 
 me. But then you never did anything else. What now 
 
 what was I going to say? 
 
 Nevers. Nothing, of course, you were only waiting for me 
 to say it. 
 Lady Mary. Well then, say it. 
 Nevers. Your bird has flown. 
 
 Lady Mary. My bird has flown ! How very odd ! I don't 
 remember ever keeping a bird. My bird ! To be sure I have 
 heard some one say Johnny was a bird. I did not know 
 
 50 
 
just what they meant. Now I am quite sure that Johnny 
 hasn't wings, now have you, Johnny? (IVho enters). 
 
 Johnny. Not that I know of. Lady Mary. I'd fly well. 
 I'd fly a lot better than Clampton ever did. 
 
 Lady Mary. To be sure you would, Johnny. But now, 
 what was I saying? 
 
 Nevers. You were not saying, Lady Mary, I was saying, 
 your goose is cooked. 
 Lady Mary. My goose? Why, Johnny, where are you? 
 Johnny. I'm no goose. 
 Lady Mary. Well, I should think not. 
 Nevers. But I have great news. 
 All. News! Do tell, we can't wait. 
 
 Nevers. We are all here under the greatest mistake. Miss 
 Palmerston has no money at all. 
 All. No money at all! 
 
 Nevers. No, I have proof, or I will have it soon. 
 All. Heavens, what an awful thing! 
 
 Nevers. Yes, it is awful. To ask us here under false 
 
 pretences. Simply it is not right. 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. But, Nevers, you have no proof as yet. 
 
 Lady Mary. But I am at sea, what is it all about? I 
 
 don't believe that Miss Palmerston has no money. It isn't 
 
 so, I know it isn't so. Why, Tanguay 
 
 Nevers. Undoubtedly knows all about it. He was going 
 to leave in the morning. But will stay over to please Miss 
 Palmerston. 
 Lady Mary. And then, he has not compromised himself? 
 Nevers. A man never compromises himself. 
 Lady Mary. (Viciously.) Some men can't, they have got 
 beyond it. 
 
 Nevers. Ta ta Lady Mary. 
 
 Lady Mary. I don't believe it. Mrs. Bampton told me 
 
 Nevers. But, Lady Mary, you have not heard all. 
 Lady Mary. I haven't. Pray what is all? 
 Nevers. Some one is paying her bills. 
 Lady Mary. (Screams.) Paying her bills ! Lord Nevers, 
 I don't understand. I won't understand you. Where is 
 Tanguay? Oh! where is he, such talk! And where is Mrs. 
 Bampton, she knows. Oh! where is she? (Enter Monte.) 
 
 51 
 
Monte. My lord. 
 
 Nevers. Speak, Monte. 
 
 Monte. I have here the proof. 
 
 All The proof! 
 
 Monte. Yes! Yes, the proof I promised. (To Nevers.) 
 Shall I speak? 
 
 Nevers. Yes, speak, we are all interested. 
 
 Monte. I have here a check signed by someone for ten 
 thousand pounds. 
 
 Nevers. By whom? 
 
 Monte. Must I tell? 
 
 Lady Mary. Tell ! of course you must tell. But you must 
 tell the truth. Tell me. Lord Nevers, what this all means. 
 
 Nevers. Lady Mary, it simply means I came to this house 
 with the understanding that I was to meet a great heiress. 
 
 Lady Mary. Well, you have done that before. (With 
 significance.) 
 
 Nevers. True. (Paying no attention to her sneer.) But 
 as great heiresses are rare I made up my mind to be quite 
 sure just how great an heiress I was to meet. 
 
 Lady Mary. A very delicate way of paying for your 
 hospitality. 
 
 Nevers. I can only plead the excuse of example. Lord 
 Tanguay was here when I arrived. 
 
 Lady Mary. But that was different. Tanguay has always 
 led a decent life. 
 
 Nevers. He has? Not inevitably a family trait. 
 
 Lady Mary. (Angry.) Please go on. 
 
 Nevers. I engaged a valet. He is supposed to have very 
 wide open eyes. 
 
 Lady Mary. In other words a detective. Proceed. 
 
 Nevers. He has learned that some one pays Miss Palmer- 
 ston's bills. 
 
 Lady Mary. And who pays your bills? 
 
 Nevers. I never talk finance with the ladies. 
 
 Lady Mary. Oh! it isn't always nice, is it? Still they 
 call themselves ladies. (With a glance around.) But that 
 does not let us know who signed that check. Show it. (To 
 
 MONTE.) 
 
 Monte. I have the honor. (Lady Mary reads.) 
 52 
 
Lady Mary. My God! 
 
 All. What is it, do tell us what it is? 
 
 Lady Mary. It isn't true, it isn't true. Oh ! where is Mrs. 
 Bampton? Where is Tanguay? Say, Johnny, run quick, call 
 Tanguay. He is in the smoking room. (Johnny exit.) 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. Let me see the check. (Takes it and 
 Nevers looks on.) 
 
 Together. Signed San Lucar ! 
 
 Monte. You see, my lord, it is signed by the rich marquis. 
 
 Nevers. And he has bought the place? 
 
 Monte. I believe he has, my lord. I have reason to believe 
 it. 
 
 Lady Mary. But how did you get the check? 
 
 Monte. I am not at liberty to say, my lady. 
 
 Lady Mary. That miserable maid Jeanette. 
 
 Monte. I cannot say, my lady, and I must have it at once. 
 (Takes it and leaves.) 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. Did you ever see such a pack of fools 
 
 as we are 
 
 Nevers. I don't know. Filthy Lucre is coming. There 
 
 may be something yet. Holy Lucre, Haw haw 
 
 Funny it's only filthy lucre after all. Haw haw 
 
 the world is very much the same haw haw . 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. Yes, we must not be too precipitate. 
 It may be a mistake after all. (Enter Tanguay.) 
 
 Tanguay. You want me? W'hat do you want me for at 
 this time of night? 
 
 Lady Mary. Oh ! Tanguay, it is such a mess ! I don't 
 understand it, but Miss Palmerston has no money after all. 
 
 Tanguay. Well, who cares? 
 
 Lady Mary. But we all care, and, Tanguay, they say she 
 does not pay her own bills that 
 
 Tanguay. Well, what of that? 
 
 Lady Mary. They say some one else pays them. 
 
 Tanguay. I don't understand. 
 
 Lady Mary. They say that her bills are paid by Holy 
 Lucre. 
 
 Tanguay. Holy Lucre! (Mystified.) who is Holy Lucre? 
 
 Lady Mary. Why, you know, that enormously rich man, 
 the Marquis of San Lucar. 
 
 53 
 
Tanguay. The Marquis of San Lucar the Monte 
 
 Christo that well— — 
 
 Lady Mary. And, Tanguay, you know it isn't very 
 
 nice. 
 
 Tanguay. (In a rage.) Who dares to say that of Annette 
 Palmerston ? 
 
 Nevers. I do, Tanguay! You might as well give up the 
 chase. 
 
 Tanguay. (Rushing up to him, shaking his fist.) You 
 
 you base, miserable sponge, you sponge you but 
 
 decency forbids you you lie. 
 
 Curtain. 
 
 54 
 
ACT III. 
 
 Scene. — The garden terrace next morning. Chairs and 
 
 awnings, with hedge rows. Mrs. Courtenay enters 
 
 right, and Nevers left. 
 
 Mrs Courtenay. Oh ! Nevers, what an awful mess ! Really, 
 
 I never made such a mistake in my life. I couldn't eat a 
 
 thing, I was so upset. So I just threw on something and 
 
 came for a walk. Everything upset, everything in chaos. 
 
 Why, where shall I spend the next two weeks. (In despair.) 
 
 Nevers. The next two weeks, why, right here, of course. 
 
 No place could be better. Surely the food is good enough. 
 
 It is for me. The chef gets two thousand pounds, and is 
 
 worth it. 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. But, Nevers. you know I can't stay now, 
 it is simply impossible. 
 Nevers. I don't see why. 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. But, Nevers, think of my reputation. 
 Nevers. (Surprised.) Your reputation your reputa- 
 tion ! Don't you think, my dear, your reputation can take 
 care of itself at this late day? 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. But. Nevers. what will the prince think? 
 
 Nevers. The prince, oh ! I forgot. Well, Courtenay won't 
 care, at any rate. 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. Oh! Courtenay, he doesn't count. 
 
 Nevers. I did not suppose the prince was so particular. 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. Oh! he is just awful. Perfectly hates 
 anything like a scandal. 
 
 Nevers. Well, there isn't any scandal that is not yet. 
 
 If we just keep still it will be all right. 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. But think of Tanguay making such a fool 
 of himself. Lady Mary was awfully put out. 
 
 Nevers. Oh! Tanguay is always like that. He thinks he 
 has got all the virtue that's going, or pretends he has. I 
 fancy, really, the poor chap was dreadfully upset to lose the 
 prize. 
 
 56 
 
Mrs. Courtenay. But, Nevers, it was a dirty trick passing 
 herself off as a great heiress, and inviting a lot of respectable 
 
 people 
 
 Nevers. What did you say, my dear I didn't hear. 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. A lot of respectable people down here, 
 and imposing upon society this way, I feel as though I would 
 never speak to a new person again so long as I live. 
 
 Nevers. (Shrugging his shoulders.) I never supposed you 
 were so sensitive. 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. Sensitive ! I am not sensitive. But to 
 be asked to spend a fortnight by a a 
 
 Nevers. An heiress, is really unusual. 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. Now, Nevers, you needn't talk to me 
 that way. I have my position to keep up, and you know the 
 prince would never for a moment stand this. Besides, some- 
 thing has got to be done for the public. What an example 
 this would be if it were known. Why, I quite shiver when 
 I think of the consequences, if it should ever get out. I 
 tell you I must go. You are a man, you have no reputation 
 to maintain. 
 
 Nevers. Thank you, you are right. I found the sooner 
 I got rid of mine the easier it was. And, by gad, I have 
 not only had a better time of it, but I really fancy I am more 
 respected. 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. Respected. Silly word ! That will do for 
 middle class people. 
 
 Nevers. But, my dear, don't be rash. You have no place 
 to go to. 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. I could choke that Bampton woman. 
 
 Nevers. You have done very well with her. She has let 
 you in for several good things. 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. Yes, I know. Fortunately she has never 
 let me in for such a thing as this before, and Miss Palmer- 
 ston looks so like a lady 
 
 Nevers. She is a lady, every inch a lady. Don't you call 
 yourself a lady? 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. (Tossing her head.) To be sure I do. 
 
 Nevers. Well ahem ! 
 
 57 
 
Mrs. Courtenay. You mean the prince. You are always 
 throwing him at me. You know yourself he doesn't count, 
 he is royalty. 
 
 Nevers. To be sure. Everything on its own plane. Now, 
 why isn't this Holy Lucre, or Filthy Lucre, just about as 
 good? They say he has money enough to buy up all the 
 royal houses in Europe. It is quite wonderful how much 
 he is worth. 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. (Reflecting.) There is a good deal in 
 what you say. 
 
 Nevers. They say even the Czar has no larger income. 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. Nevers ! 
 
 Nevers. Fact! I can't just say what are the figures, but 
 it is simply enormous. They say he owns small kingdoms, 
 kingdoms not even worked. His old uncle was very wise 
 in his day and bought up quantities of seemingly useless 
 property. 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. And it can be developed? 
 
 Nevers. Of course. I am going to stay. You didn't 
 think I came here for my health? 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. I'll stay too. 
 
 Nevers. Why not? San Lucar is worth a whole bunch of 
 princes. 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. But the position 
 
 Nevers. (Quizically.) The position, what do you mean? 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. Don't be silly, the social position. 
 
 Nevers. I never knew anyone to lack social position if he 
 or she had enough money and knew how to use it. 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. Oh ! yes I have. 
 
 Nevers. Well, then, they didn't use it enough. 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. I say. Nevers, you are a devil. 
 
 Nevers. (Complacently.) Yes, my dear, that is why you 
 like me. 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. You don't think you are a good judge 
 
 of women. 
 
 Nevers. (Quizzically.) I don't as as rule. It is laborious 
 and usually useless. 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. Well, think now. You don't think I am 
 so very unattractive? 
 
 58 
 
Nevers. Unattractive, gracious, woman, what are you talk- 
 ing about? Haven't you got the prince crazy? And haven't 
 you made a complete conquest of 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. (Eagerly.) Of a man whom 
 
 Nevers. Most women, oh ! well I really can't say it. 
 
 (Straightening himself up.) To whom most women are not 
 entirely indifferent. 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. You conceited thing ! But I think you 
 are right. (Sitting down and fanning herself with a paper 
 lying near.) 
 
 Nevers. Now look here, my dear, the game is not up yet. 
 We are well entrenched, it is a secret known only to a few, 
 that San Lucar pays the bills. If we always looked too 
 closely whence comes our bread and butter, for instance most 
 kitchens, we would not eat. Now, we must eat, so we choose 
 the most tempting viands that come in our way. We eat, 
 therefore we live ! 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. True! 
 
 Nevers. Now, I prefer to live well. To quarrel with our 
 food means indigestion at least. Physicians say, eat with a 
 happy mind and a contented spirit, I do ! To quarrel to 
 the breaking point means starvation. Only fools starve ! 
 
 Mrs Courtenay. True. Then you think 
 
 Nevers. I never think, I simply eat, when eating comes 
 my way. Naturally to think might disturb my digestion in 
 my distressed financial condition. And to be able to think 
 at the proper moment requires the very best stomachic 
 equipment. 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. But then, to come down to facts. If the 
 
 prince and some one else who really knows a fine woman 
 
 when he sees one 
 
 Nevers. I never come down to fact. To come down to 
 
 fact is to grovel. I never grovel. I eat if the chef gets 
 
 two thousand pounds and I wait Under those circum- 
 stances it is easy and usually best, 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. And we will wait? 
 
 Nevers. Why not? Mrs. Bampton enjoys the very best 
 of reputations. In fact her figure is a sworn document. 
 She is your sponsor. Lady Mary is most highly born. She 
 
 59 
 
does William the Conqueror, the fellow we brag of, one 
 better, her parents were married. 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. Oh! never mind that. It seems so un- 
 important in these days when the peerage is not even like a 
 wise child. 
 
 Nevers. Then, we have never seen the check signed by 
 San Lucar? 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. No, never, certainly not. (They both 
 laugh.) How about Tanguay? 
 
 Nevers. Oh! Lady Mary will take care of him. He is 
 an enthusiast. Goes in for the purity of the lower classes 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. Yes, we must do what we can for them, 
 of course. The prince would wish it. In fact he is very 
 keen about it. 
 
 Nevers. Of course, of course! (Enter Johnny and Baby, 
 who appear surprised.) 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. Why, Baby, you here. 
 
 Baby. Yes, mamma, I never thought to see you. (Still 
 surprised.) I never knew you to get up so early. 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. Just business, my dear. Well, Johnny, 
 what are you doing here? 
 
 Johnny. Just business! (Meaningly. Mrs. Courtenay 
 looks angry.) 
 
 Baby. Mamma, it was such a nice morning and Johnny 
 actually got up to breakfast, and I actually got up to break- 
 fast, and so we met, wasn't it funny? 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. (Suspiciously.) Yes, very. 
 
 Baby. And, mamma, did you and Lord Nevers just get 
 up for breakfast? 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. (Impatient.) No, of course not. we only 
 met out here. We have business to talk over. So I think, 
 Nevers, we will take a little stroll. (Exeunt.) 
 
 Baby. Isn't it funny we all just happened to meet? 
 (Laughing.) I like to just happen to meet, don't you, Johnny? 
 
 Johnny. I like to just happen to meet you! But I think. 
 Baby, you said when I left you in the conservatory you 
 would be down to breakfast. 
 
 Baby. Did I? How imprudent! Mamma would scold me 
 if she knew. 
 
Johnny. Well, she will never know. By the way, there 
 was an awful row in the library after you went to bed. 
 
 Bahy. Row, and I wasn't there, Johnny? Why didn't you 
 call me? 
 
 Johnny. I didn't quite find out myself. All I know was 
 Lady Mary came out in a towering rage and Tanguay looked 
 like murder. They sent me after Tanguay and I got in 
 just too late, but I heard him say — "Nevers, you lie." 
 
 Baby. How awful ! 
 
 Johnny. Yes, you must never say to a man he lies, for 
 he generally does, and there is absolutely nothing so rude 
 as the truth. 
 
 Baby. Yes, I hate the truth. If nobody ever told the 
 truth I could be so happy. 
 
 Johnny. You could, sweetheart? Suppose I never told you 
 I loved you? 
 
 Baby. I shouldn't care. You needn't blab everything you 
 know to me. I can see some things for myself. 
 
 Johnny. Yes, so can I. But don't you like to hear it once 
 in a while? 
 
 Baby. I don't know. Do you know I get so tired hearing 
 people say it that I sometimes wish I could never hear it 
 again. 
 
 Johnny. You do? Then I won't say it any more! 
 
 Baby. (Reflectively.) Well, you see, old Bampton is 
 always saying the same thing, 
 
 Johnny. He is? 
 
 Baby. Yes, he is just an old fool anyway. He doesn't 
 mean a word he says. 
 
 Johnny. He doesn't? 
 
 Baby. No, he just says those things because he says it 
 seems to be expected in my family, and he wants to keep 
 up to the mark and not be rude. 
 
 Johnny. Oh! in your family? 
 
 Baby. Yes, I haven't an idea what he means, but it seems 
 to be rather common, now I think of it. Nobody ever talks 
 anything else. Even the Reverend Houghton was talking 
 love the other day. I didn't exactly listen, but I suppose it 
 was the same old thing. 
 
 Johnny. What, the meenister? 
 
 61 
 
Baby. They can't help it ! I heard mamma say it was 
 love that made the world go round. It seemed a nice senti- 
 ment, so I remembered it. 
 Johnny. You always remember nice sentiments? 
 Baby. Always, when they have anything to do about love. 
 Johnny. Oh ! but. Baby, don't listen to anyone but me. 
 Baby. I never do ! But I forgot, what was Lord Tanguay 
 so mad about? 
 Johnny. I don't know, some foolishness. 
 Baby. But Jeanette was so funny this morning. She said 
 
 Meester Monte, as she calls him, was that perky 
 
 Johnny. Perky? What has he got to be perky about? 
 
 Baby. She said he was putting on all those airs, and 
 
 laughed and laughed at her so, that she was quite disturbed. 
 
 Johnny. Well, Lady Mary sent me out last night on the 
 
 jump to find Tanguay, and I hadn't much chance to know 
 
 what it was all about, some deviltry of Nevers, I'll bet. 
 
 Baby. Don't speak that way of Lord Nevers. He's 
 mamma's friend. 
 
 Johnny. Yes, I know that. (Enter Bampton.) Ah! what's 
 up, old chap? 
 
 Bampton. Eh! up? I don't understand. My temper will 
 be up if you call me old chap. 
 
 Johnny. Never mind, we are just pals. Say, what hap- 
 pened last night? 
 
 Bampton. Happened last night I Good heavens, did any- 
 thing happen? 
 
 Johnny. Well, I should say so. Where were you? Were 
 you asleep? 
 
 Bampton. I, why I I was now where was I? 
 
 Johnny. Well, never mind, something big has happened. 
 I heard something about a check, and Tanguay told Nevers 
 
 he lied, and Nevers laughed 
 
 Baby. Of course he laughed! It must have been so funny 
 to have anyone tell him that. Why, he must have known it 
 already. 
 Johnny. Oh ! Baby, what are you talking about ? 
 Baby. He does lie at times, he says so himself. We all do! 
 Johnny. Why, Baby! 
 Bampton. You little moral wretch! 
 
 (52 
 
Baby. Call me names if you like. I don't care. I don't, so 
 there. 
 
 Johnny. Something about a check, and Tanguay got mad, 
 and when I asked Lady Mary afterwards she was so rude 
 as to say children should be seen and not heard. So I went 
 to bed. 
 
 Baby. Wtisn't she rude? 
 
 Bam p ton. If something is up I must go and tell the old 
 lady. She will soon find it out. (Exit.) 
 
 Baby. Yes do, we are busy. Now, Johnny, tell me all 
 about it. Whose check was it? I do so love checks, don't 
 you? 
 
 Johnny. Yes, when they are big enough. 
 
 Baby. Was this big? 
 
 Johnny. Ten thousand pounds, made out to Miss Palmer- 
 ston. (Baby falls off her chair and Johnny catches her.) 
 
 Baby. Please be more careful, Johnny, don't give me such 
 awful shocks. When you have anything startling break it 
 to me gently. Ten thousand pounds, why it would give 
 mamma hysterics if anyone sent her ten thousand pounds. 
 (Enter Houghton.) Now for a sermon! (Baby straightens 
 up and looks very solemn.) 
 
 Eloughton. Did I hear you say anything about ten 
 thousand pounds ? 
 
 Baby. Yes, Johnny was telling me a fairy tale. 
 
 Houghton. A fairy tale? You still like fairy tales? 
 
 Baly. Oh ! yes, when they have got a lot of money in 
 them. 
 
 Houghton. Money in them ! Then you, child, are already 
 thinking about money? 
 
 Baby. Money, why yes. Don't you ever think about 
 money? Only just heaven? 
 
 I-Joughton. I sometimes have to think about it, I must 
 confess. 
 
 Baby. I thought meenisters never thought about the world 
 or anything naughty. That is why I like them so much. 
 
 Houghton. Then you like meenisters? 
 
 Baby. Yes, when they tell nice fairy stories. I like to 
 go to church when the meenister preaches about Ruth and 
 Boas. 
 
 63 
 
Houghton. You do? 
 
 Baby. Yes, for I am sure Ruth was an English woman. 
 
 Houghton. You are? 
 
 Baby. Hu hu she went in for the richest old chap 
 
 going. 
 
 Houghton. My dear! 
 
 Baby. Don't call me my dear, every man calls me that, 
 and if you do it will interfere with your ministerial character. 
 
 Houghton. (Somewhat shocked.) But what was the story 
 about ten thousand pounds? 
 
 Baby. It was a fairy story. No one ever really has ten 
 thousand pounds at one time, 
 
 Houghton. Are you sure? 
 
 Baby. Quite sure. If mamma has a hundred pounds all 
 at one time she feels quite rich. I have heard her say so. 
 
 And ten thousand pounds why it would kill her. (Turns 
 
 to Johnny.) 
 
 Houghton. Ten thousand pounds! What is up? Ten 
 
 thousand pounds! Let me think. I but it cannot 
 
 be. Now, Miss Courtenay, don't talk fairy talk to that young 
 man all the time. (Exit.) 
 
 Baby. Didn't he act funny? I suppose he never heard 
 of ten thousand pounds. It must be dreadful to be so poor 
 as never to have seen money. Do you know, Johnny, I feel 
 quite happy just thinking of it. Say it some more. 
 
 Johnny. Ten thousand pounds. 
 
 Baby. Say it slower. 
 
 Johnny. Ten thou sand pounds. 
 
 Baby. There, that is good. Oh ! here come the Bamptons. 
 (They run off. Enter Mr. and Mrs. Bampton.) 
 
 Mrs. Bampton. (Horrified.) And you say something is 
 up. Good gracious ! And Tanguay told Nevers he lied, what 
 awful manners ! 
 
 Bampton. (Eagerly.) Yes, and if you don't watch out the 
 whole party will turn out in a row. 
 
 Mrs. Bampton. A row, why I never heard of such a thing. 
 At a party I got up myself! Now, Bampton, you are always 
 in the clouds, just come down to earth and explain. 
 
 64 
 
Bampton. My dear, that little scamp had Johnny in a 
 corner as usual and he was relating something about a ten 
 thousand pound check 
 
 Mrs. Bampton. Ten thousand pound check ! Absurd, 
 people don't draw ten thousand pound checks, unless they 
 are dealing in stocks. 
 
 Bampton. Well, at any rate there was this check drawn 
 for ten thousand pounds, and Nevers said something about 
 it and Tanguay told him he lied. 
 
 Mrs. Bampton. And Nevers, what did he do? 
 
 Bampton. Just laughed ! 
 
 Mrs. Bampton. Just like him, he would laugh if he were 
 going to be hanged. What did I have him asked for? ^ 
 
 Bampton. To please the Courtenay woman, of course. 
 
 Mrs. Bampton. Oh ! yes, I know I had to. One can't get 
 on without her. Oh ! what shall I do ? A scandal, and it 
 will get out and into the papers, and then I will be in a 
 nice position. But I must find out at once. Oh! here is 
 Lady Mary. (Lady Mary enters.) I am so glad you are 
 up. Do tell us what is the matter. 
 
 Lady Mary. (Severely.) Matter, well you ought to know 
 if anyone does. 
 
 Mrs. Bampton. I know? I haven't an idea what you are 
 talking of. Here is Bampton going around like a hen with 
 her head cut off. 
 
 Bampton. (Sadly.) But poor thing she has lost her 
 head 
 
 Mrs. Bampton. So you have, apparently. 
 
 Lady Mary. I really do not feel equal to telling you. I 
 am so shocked 
 
 Mrs. Bampton. (Shocked.) What is it? 
 
 Lady Mary. It is simply but I can't say it 
 
 I can't. (Sinks into a seat.) 
 
 Bampton. (Earnestly.) Then write it. 
 
 Lady Mary. (Gasping.) Mrs. Bampton you got us here. 
 
 Mrs. Bampton. Yes. my dear, of course, but I do not 
 understand. 
 
 Lady Mary. What kind of a woman is she? 
 
 Mrs. Bampton. (Astonished.) She she what she? 
 
 65 
 
Lady Mary. Oh ! you know. You must know, you are in 
 the plot, you must be 
 
 Mrs. Bampton. Plot (Screams.) plot, a plot you 
 
 don't mean murder? 
 
 Lady Mary. Yes I do. (Mrs. Bampton again screams.) 
 It is as good as murder. I was never placed in such a 
 position in my life. I must leave at once. I really must, I 
 must get right out. (Rises.) 
 
 Mrs. Bampton. If you don't tell me I shall die! 
 
 Bampton. Wait, dear, until we get some definite news. 
 
 Lady Mary. And she looks so innocent. I will never trust 
 anyone again so long as I live. Such a night ! Heavens what 
 an escape Tanguay has had. 
 
 Mrs. Bampton. Lady Mary, you must speak, 
 
 Bampton. You really must to save life. 
 
 Lady Mary. That check that check. 
 
 Mrs. Bampton. Check? There, Bampton, it was the check. 
 
 Bampton. (Eagerly.) For ten thousand pounds 
 
 Lady Mary. (Shuddering.) Yes, for ten thousand pounds, 
 that was it. 
 
 Mrs. Bampton. What was the matter with the check, 
 wasn't it good? 
 
 Lady Mary. (Trying to keep up.) Yes, it was good, 
 much too good. 
 
 Mrs. Bampton. But I can't see anything very bad about a 
 ten thousand pound check. 
 
 Lady Mary. It was made out to your friend. 
 
 Mrs. Bampton. My friend ! 
 
 Lady Mary. Yes, to Miss Palmerston, 
 
 Bampton. But I don't see anything strange about that. 
 
 Mrs. Bampton. No, she must have money, why not? 
 
 Lady Mary. (Pulling herself together.) But it was signed 
 by Filthy Lucre. 
 
 Bampton. Filthy Lucre, why, that's a joke. Of course 
 we all know ten thousand pounds is filthy lucre. 
 
 Lady Mary. (Gasping.) I mean Holy Lucre. 
 
 Bampton. Well, I should think you perhaps would be more 
 likely to call it holy lucre, it is your god, I believe. Quite 
 right ! 
 
 66 
 
Lady Mary. (Recovered and giving Bampton a crushing 
 look.) I mean it was signed by the Marquis of San Lucar. 
 
 Both Bamptons. The Marquis of San Lucar, the rich man 
 from South America. 
 
 Lady Mary. (Savagely.) Yes, by him. 
 
 Mrs. Bampton. Well, I suppose he can sign checks if he 
 wishes. 
 
 Lady Mary. But it is to pay Miss Palmerston's bills. 
 
 Mrs. Bampton. (Dense.) Paying her bills, I suppose some 
 one is paying her bills. 
 
 Lady Mary. (Contemptuously.) That is just it. I see you 
 are one of the conspirators, and I shall never forgive you 
 for getting me and Tanguay into this awful scrape. Why, 
 I simply shudder when I think of it ! 
 
 Mrs. Bampton. Really, (Indignant.) Lady Mary, I must 
 demand an explanation. I still fail to see what you are 
 trying to insinuate, and I do not mind saying, after the years 
 I have known you, I am greatly surprised. 
 
 Lady Mary. (Pausing in her wrath.) You don't see? 
 How can you help but see? 
 
 Mrs. Bampton. I may be dull, but I do not see. I only 
 know you make the most unwarrantable insinuations, and 
 have apparently no ground for making them. 
 
 Lady Mary. (Impatiently.) Do you not see you have 
 introduced to us a young woman as of unimpeachable 
 character, as a great heiress, and got us all here as her 
 guests (Hesitating.) 
 
 Mrs. Bampton. Yes, I see all that, it is quite true. 
 
 Lady Mary. But last night I saw with my own eyes the 
 check signed by Filthy Lucre. 
 
 Mrs. Bampton. But what does that mean? I do not 
 believe that Miss Palmerston knows the Holy Lucre, as you 
 call him. If she does it is no offence. She may have 
 business relations with him, that is none of my affair. Pray 
 how did you learn all this? 
 
 Lady Mary. From Lord Nevers and Mrs. Courtenay. 
 
 Mrs. Bampton. Now really. Lady Mary, from your own 
 conversation I have learned they are hardly reliable witnesses. 
 
 Lady Mary. It does not matter so much about their re- 
 liability as about what they will report. People will believe 
 
 67 
 
what they say while they may not believe in them. Such is 
 life and such is society! 
 
 Bampton. It is very strange, very strange. I felt some- 
 thing very strange when I came into this house. 
 
 Mrs. Bampton. Oh ! you are always feeling things. Every- 
 thing except your indebtedness. You let me feel that. 
 
 Bampton. Huh what did you say. Oh ! why don't you 
 
 ask Miss Palmerston herself who pays her bills? 
 
 Mrs. Bampton. (With contempt.) Ask her that! I trust 
 I am a lady. 
 
 Lady Mary. It certainly would not be an easy undertaking. 
 She seems to have a very cutting way of replying. 
 
 Mrs. Bampton. Yes, she is very clever, and very quick. 
 To say anything to her would surely bring some disagreeable 
 reply. I can't do it. Especially with her recommendations. 
 
 Lady Mary. Then I will. Something must be done ! We 
 can't all leave without some explanation. 
 
 Mrs. Bampton. I certainly intend to stay. W5th a clergy- 
 man and his wife, both old friends, with her, I consider her 
 amply protected. 
 
 Lady Mary. Clergyman and his wife, forsooth ! What 
 do they count for? I have known bishops quite ignore the 
 whole moral law when money or royalty was implicated. 
 
 Mrs. Bampton. You don't mean it? How dreadful! 
 What in heaven's name are they for, then ? 
 
 Lady Mary. I never could see unless it was to keep sinners 
 in society by their countenance. Religion has always con- 
 demned sin, but coddled the sinner. 
 
 Mrs. Bampton. Dreadful, dreadful. But here comes Miss 
 Palmerston. I leave you to her tender mercies. If you are 
 living when you get through with her we will talk some more. 
 That horrid Nevers. (Enter Miss Palmerston, and exit 
 Mr. and Mrs. Bampton, on opposite sides.) 
 
 Miss Palmerston. Good morning. Lady Mary. How very 
 fresh and beautiful it is? I do love the English life, it is 
 so pure and sweet. 
 
 Lady Mary. (Severely.) That depends upon who leads it. 
 
 Miss Palmerston. Leads it ! (Surprised.) 
 
 Lady Mary. Yes, it isn't always pure and sweet, as some 
 people lead it. 
 
 68 
 
Miss Palmerston. Oh ! I hadn't thought, perhaps not. By 
 the way, have you had breakfast? 
 
 Lady Mary. Some time ago, I did not eat much. 
 
 Miss Palmerston. Perhaps not enough. Your digestion 
 may be impaired by starvation. 
 
 Lady Mary. My digestion is very good. It is my mind 
 that is disturbed. 
 
 Miss Palmerston. (Noticing her hostile attitude, and some- 
 what amused.) Your mind? Does it disturb you often? 
 
 Lady Mary. Miss Palmerston, do you ever think of sin? 
 
 Miss Palmerston. Of sin? Yes, of course. Mr. Houghton 
 frequently alludes to it. 
 
 Lady Mary. I don't care anything about Mr. Houghton; 
 he is a humbug. 
 
 Miss Palmerston. A humbug, (Severely.) pray explain. 
 
 Lady Mary. I mean all clergymen are humbugs. 
 
 Miss Palmerston. (Sarcastically.) You have been un- 
 fortunate, you have not met the right kind. 
 
 Lady Mary. (Severely.) Bishops 
 
 Miss Palmerston. Oh ! I quite understand. Well, you see 
 Mr. Houghton is not a bishop, that gives him a chance. 
 
 Lady Mary. Mr. Houghton condones offences 
 
 Miss Palmerston. I am surprised. I always thought him 
 very severe on sin. 
 
 Lady Mary. Social offences 
 
 Miss Palmerston. But those are quite his hobby. He is 
 very bitter, very bitter indeed, on high class sin. Sometimes 
 he makes me feel quite guilty. 
 
 Lady Mary. He does? Then why don't you reform? 
 
 Miss Palmerston. (Bewildered.) Reform! Have I taken 
 to drink?' I didn't know it. 
 
 Lady Mary. You know what I mean, where do you get 
 your money? 
 
 Miss Palmerston. (Startled.) My money! Really 
 
 Lady Mary. (Seeing her advantage.) Yes, where do you 
 get your money. 
 
 Miss Palmerston. Really! (Recovering herself.) your 
 question seems to me very unusual. Is it customary for 
 ladies to enquire, when they are visiting a house, to enter 
 into the domestic details 
 
Lady Mary. (Baffled.) It is generally understood where 
 the money comes from. 
 
 Miss Palmerston. Then, when you visit certain ducal 
 families do you insist upon going back into history and 
 unearthing the various transactions by which historical 
 peeresses gained their wealth? 
 
 Lady Mary. (Impatient.) We let the dead bury their 
 dead. 
 
 Miss Palmerston. I see! The inability of the dead to 
 perform that gracious task is why history is so redolent with 
 unpleasantness. 
 
 Lady Mary. I don't understand you. But I think I have 
 a right to know just how you have gained the money you 
 are said to possess. 
 
 Miss Palmerston. (Affronted.) And I think you have no 
 such right. Had you not wished to accept my invitation you 
 were quite at liberty to decline it. You are also now quite 
 at liberty to reconsider your previous mistake. I feel called 
 upon to detail my affairs to no one. 
 
 Lady Mary. (Frightened and fearing she has made a 
 mistake.) I beg your pardon, of course. As your guest I 
 owe you much courtesy, and I was hasty ; but certain things 
 said to me last night have disturbed my equanimity. Per- 
 haps, as you suggested, I did not eat enough this morning. 
 (Annette hows and goes out. Enter Tanguay.) 
 
 Tanguay. Oh ! has she gone ? 
 
 Lady Mary. Just left, she saw you coming. 
 
 Tanguay. Why did she go? I want to see her. 
 
 Lady Mary. (Severely.) She probably does not want to 
 see you. 
 
 Tanguay. Poor girl, and she doesn't know the vipers she 
 is housing. 
 
 Lady Mary. She apparently does not want your pity. It 
 has been a lucky escape. Tanguay. I am glad we found her 
 out in time. 
 
 Tanguay. (Furious.) You believe that lie? 
 
 Lady Mary. I saw the check ! 
 
 Tanguay. You saw a check. Just from that check you 
 conclude, or that beastly Nevers concludes, that San Lucar 
 is paj'ing her bills. I tell you it is all a lie a lie. 
 
 70 
 
Lady Mary. You are violent, Tanguay, you are very 
 violent. I never saw you in such a state before. 
 
 Tanguay. You never saw me in love before. 
 
 Lady Mary. In love, you are not in love with Miss 
 Palmerston ? 
 
 Tanguay. I love the very ground she walks on. 
 
 Lady Mary. (Scornfully.) That that 
 
 Tanguay. Stop, Mary! I tell you to stop! That girl is 
 as pure as the sky above her. 
 
 Lady Mary. Fortunately you can't marry her. 
 
 Tanguay. I would marry her this minute if she were poor, 
 this very minute. 
 
 Lady Mary. (Screams.) Marry her if she were poor? 
 Tanguay, you are crazy ! 
 
 Tanguay. Never so sane in my life. This beastly wretched 
 thing called money debases us all. It makes us cowards. 
 It has made Nevers a rascal. It makes you a designing, 
 cold-blooded female who hasn't even a right to call herself 
 a woman 
 
 Lady Mary. Tanguay, Tanguay, you are simply daft. I 
 never heard you talk so before. 
 
 Tanguay. You have never heard the truth. I have always 
 thought it. and now I say it. You, who should have been a 
 loving, helpful sister to me, you, older and more experienced 
 than I, you, vv'ho should have put the better things of life in 
 an attractive guise, you, who should have taught as my mother 
 would have taught me, have dried up that spring of youthful 
 enthusiasm, that love of the noble and right, and made me a 
 base self seeker, looking only for money, money, and never 
 for honor and uprightness. I know it now, and I knew it 
 then, but, before God, I tell you now I will not endure it 
 any longer. I will not blast everything in man to suit a 
 worldly woman's whim. I have found a noble woman, I 
 shall worship her so long as I may live. 
 
 Lady Mary. (Aghast.) Even if the Marquis of San Lucar 
 does pay her liills? (Annette enters.) 
 
 Annette. Good morning, Lord Tanguay. How warm you 
 look. 
 
 Tanguay. (Embarrassed.) Do I? It's the heat. 
 
 71 ; 
 
Annette. (Sweetly.) You seemed excited as I saw you 
 in the distance. 
 
 Tanguay. I was telling my sister what a 
 
 miserable world this is. 
 
 Annette. (Surprised.) Indeed, both you and Lady Mary 
 seem quite upset about something. Have you had your 
 breakfast? 
 
 Tanguay. Yes, but I did not eat very much. 
 
 Annette. The same trouble, incipient starvation. Lady 
 Mary makes the same complaint. I am quite sure. Lady 
 Alary, that is the trouble. I am so sorry my cook does 
 not please you. I will speak to him. (Starts to go but 
 Tanguay detains her.) 
 
 Lady Mary. And I will continue my walk. Perhaps. 
 Tanguay, you will reconsider your words when you think 
 the matter over. (Exit.) 
 
 Tanguay. How fresh and rosy you look this morning I 
 
 Annette. (Smiling.) Do I? Well, to tell the truth, it is 
 
 a glorious morning, and everything seems to smile 
 
 everything but you are not looking well. 
 
 Tanguay. (Turning away perplexed.) I did not get much 
 sleep. 
 
 Annette. (Somewhat concerned.) Our little talk upset 
 you? 
 
 Tanguay. No, it was not that. 
 
 Annette. Something else? 
 
 Tanguay. Yes, something else. 
 
 Annette. I am so sorry. And I woke up very happy this 
 morning. It seems as though the whole world was singing. 
 (Tanguay looks at her with a sad smile.) 
 
 Tanguay. Yes, it is singing for you. It should sing for 
 you. Let the world sing while it can. The time may come 
 when it will not. Life is not always a smile, at least not to 
 every one. 
 
 Annette. You speak mysteriously. Perhaps I did wrong 
 to ask you to stay. 
 
 Tanguay. No, you did quite right. I am very glad I 
 stayed. 
 
 Annette. I felt you would. Now we can forget little 
 unpleasantnesses and enjoy ourselves. In spite of your break- 
 
 72 
 
fast or your lack of one just indulge me by a little smile. 
 (He smiles.) Oh ! not that kind of a smile, a joyous smile. 
 (He tries.) Well, that is better, but it lacks the background. 
 It is like a ray of sunshine with a thunderstorm just ready 
 to break. Can't I lend you some of my joyous spirits? 
 And I do feel so happy. (She plays with the flowers.) He 
 clinches his hands and he watches her.) 
 
 Tanguay. (Aside.) And I can't tell her, can't tell her 
 the demons she is harboring under her roof. 
 
 Annette. What, still sad? 
 
 Tanguay. I didn't sleep much last night. 
 
 Annette. Not sleep? Did my insistence upon your re- 
 maining keep you awake? 
 
 Tanguay. No. 
 
 Annette. What did, then? Was I unkind? 
 
 Tanguay. No indeed I 
 
 Annette. (Coaxingly.) You won't tell me? 
 
 Tanguay. I cannot. 
 
 Annette. You are unhappy, and you will not tell why? 
 I am happy 
 
 Tanguay. You have no reason to be otherwise. 
 
 Annette. (Pausing.) Last night I thought I had no reason 
 to be otherwise. The sun shone out here, and also in my 
 heart 
 
 Tanguay. Then let it shine. 
 
 Annette. (Pleading.) I want it to, I do want the sun- 
 shine, but 
 
 Tanguay. Enjoy it while you can. 
 
 Annette. I want to. I want to, but when I look into your 
 
 face I see a cloud, and Oh! I do not know what it 
 
 means. Tell me. 
 
 Tanguay. You see a cloud? Yes. it is a cloud in my sky, 
 not yours. 
 
 Annette. And if in yours why not a little in mine? 
 
 Tanguay. (Hesitating.) Is your horizon and mine the 
 
 same 
 
 Annette. (Catching her breath.) No, no not yet — 
 
 but perhaps 
 
 Tanguay. You told me last night there was a reason. 
 Annette. (Struggling with herself.) A reason, did I? 
 
 73 
 
Tanguay. Yes, a reason. I thought of that last night, 
 I thought a good deal of that. 
 
 Annette. There can be so many reasons. 
 
 Tanguay. True, but this was one. 
 
 Annette. (Fighting for time.) Did I say just one? 
 
 Tanguay. (Severely, as though beginning to doubt.) You 
 said one, one you could not tell me then. 
 
 Annette. I did, but, there are others. 
 
 Tanguay. But just this one. Can you not trust me enough 
 to tell me that one just now? 
 
 Annette. But I did not think. There is another. At 
 least there is every reason why I should tell you nothing at 
 all. (Straightening herself up.) Lord Tanguay, I have been 
 
 very foolish. I have led I mean I have talked to 
 
 you too much. You have said things to me I should not have 
 heard. 
 
 Tanguay. You have forced them out of me. 
 
 Annette. I think I did. In fact I forgot. Oh! Lord 
 Tanguay go away and leave me in peace. 
 
 Tanguay. But last night you insisted upon my staying. 
 
 Annette. Yes, I know. Oh ! I was foolish. I should have 
 known better. 
 
 Tanguay. Now you want me to go? 
 
 Annette. Don't go away from Clampton. Please don't! 
 
 Tanguay. But then what do you want? 
 
 Annette. (Desperately.) I don't know. 
 
 Tanguay. But, Annette, Miss Palmerston, you place me in 
 a very unbearable position. Last night I laid bare my heart 
 before you. For one brief moment I hoped you might have 
 some feeling for me. You left me without one word of 
 comfort. You spent the rest of the evening talking with 
 Nevers 
 
 Annette. Oh I don't be jealous of that creature 
 
 Tanguay. That creature you say that creature 
 
 he is your guest. 
 
 Annette. I know, I forgot myself. 
 
 Tanguay. Do you know anything especial about Lord 
 Nevers ? 
 
 Annette. (Savagely.) I hate him. I hope you are satisfied. 
 I hate him ! 
 
 74 
 
Tanguay. (Thinking, and aside.) She has found him out. 
 I wonder what he said. Would you tell me why? 
 
 Annette. (Rousing herself.) Certainly not. I cannot tell 
 you what passed between Lord Nevers and myself. 
 
 Tanguay. Forgive me, I will not ask. (Piqued.) But 
 surely after your talk with Nevers, and the way we parted 
 you cannot suppose I had much chance for sleep. 
 
 Annette. I am very sorry. 
 
 Tanguay. I trust I am not jealous, but I do take some 
 interest in what was said. I am sorry you cannot tell me. 
 It might be better if you did. 
 
 Annette. It was nothing, nothing at all. He thinks a 
 great deal of himself. Perhaps he is justified. 
 
 Tanguay. Did he say anything especial? 
 
 Annette. I really cannot tell you what he said. Let us 
 
 forget the matter. Somehow I don't think I feel as happy 
 
 as I did. 
 
 Tanguay. I am so sorry. 
 
 Annette. You know, in spite of Lord Nevers I was happy, 
 yes, very happy, after you left me. And I was so happy this 
 morning. But I knew it could not last. Oh ! why is it 
 that dreams could never come true? 
 
 Tanguay. You dreamed? 
 
 Annette. Yes, I dreamed. And oh! such a pleasant dream. 
 
 Tanguay. Could I not know what you dreamed? 
 
 Annette. Yes, you might know it was after all but a 
 
 dream. I knew it (Hesitating.) 
 
 Tanguay. When ? 
 
 Annette. When I saw your face this morning. But I was 
 determined to keep that dream. I can see it now. (Looks 
 ecstatic.) 
 
 Tanguay. (Coming near.) Let me see it too. 
 
 Annette. I dreamed I was young. Oh! yes, a mere child 
 ill the world, and that 
 
 Tanguay. And that 
 
 Annette. The world held nothing base, nothing sordid, 
 that life was all one sweet, happy dream, perfect sunshine, 
 sweet peace and 
 
 Tanguay. And (She stops and looks at him.) 
 
 75 
 
Annette. And that in this paradise of repose came a 
 vision 
 
 Tanguay. A vision ! 
 
 Annette. Yes, a vision of someone who was higher than 
 earth, someone who was strong, who was noble, who was 
 fearless, who was brave. 
 
 Tanguay. Some one who was higher than earth some- 
 one who was strong someone who was noble someone 
 
 who was fearless — who was brave. It was a vision ! 
 
 Annette. And this someone bade me remember that in this 
 sweet sunshine, this perfect bliss, there was a higher plane, 
 and to that plane I had not reached. 
 
 Tanguay. And that dream left you happy? 
 
 Annette. That dream came to me like a message from 
 above, because it seemed a call to spread my wings and soar 
 to perfect bliss. 
 
 Tanguay. I do not think I hardly understand. 
 
 Annette. No, you cannot understand, because you do not 
 know. 
 
 Tanguay. And why do I not know? 
 
 Annette. Because you do not know yourself. 
 
 Tanguay. I do not know myself 
 
 Annette. No, but I know 
 
 Tanguay. You know? 
 
 Annette. I know, because I know you. 
 
 Tanguay. You know me? 
 
 Annette. Yes, I know you, and you do not know yourself 
 Hush, I will tell you. Last night you broke your bonds, 
 you declared that which was in your heart. The man in 
 you spoke, the nobleman declared himself, and the Earl of 
 Tanguay faded out of sight. You did not see, but I saw. 
 I dreamed, and in that dream you were the someone of whom 
 I dreamed. 
 
 Tanguay. (Passionately.) You love me ! 
 
 Annette. (Repelling him gently.) I said I dreamed. Ah! 
 it was 
 
 Tanguay. No, no, don't say it was a dream, Annette, it 
 was the truth, the truth. For God's sake say yes. 
 
 Annette. Why say something I shall always regret? 
 
 Tanguay. Regret ! why regret ? 
 
 76 
 
Annette. You say that you love me. You want me to 
 love you, but you cannot ask me to be your wife. 
 Tangiiay. Why cannot 1 ask you that? 
 Annette. Because you cannot, must not. 
 Tanguay. But, do you love me, that is the question? 
 Annette. Don't ask me! 
 
 Tanguay. I must ask you ! I have the right to know. A 
 man who loves a woman, and tells her so, has the right to 
 a plain answer. 
 Annette. Not always! there may be reasons, 
 Tanguay. But I must know those reasons. Annette, I 
 demand an answer. 
 Annette. Oh! Alfred, how can you doubt it? 
 Tanguay. (Embracing her.) I knew it. I knew it. 
 (Kisses her.) 
 Annette. (Struggling.) You must not, I will not have it. 
 
 It is not right. I cannot marry you 
 
 Tanguay. You have a reason, you must tell. 
 Annette. I cannot tell, I cannot tell you now. When I 
 tell you, you will know I am right. Please. 
 Tanguay. No, I cannot let you go. 
 
 Annette. Oh! please, I will tell you, then you will know. 
 (He releases her.) 
 Tanguay. Tell me ! 
 
 Annette. I am not what I seem (Tanguay starts.) I 
 
 am not 
 
 Tanguay. (Bitterly.) Don't tell me any more. 
 Annette. Any more? I must tell you now that I have 
 begun. 
 
 Tanguay. (Passionately.) 1 will not hear it. I will be- 
 lieve you are all you seem. (Aside.) My God, what am I 
 saying! Annette, say you love me! 
 
 Annette. I love you, you know I love you. 
 Tanguay. (Holding his head.) That is enough, don't tell 
 me anything more. 
 
 Annette. But, Lord Tanguay, Alfred, you seem strange 
 
 what is the matter. (He reels, she catches him.) Are you 
 dizzy? 
 
 Tanguay. (Gasping.) Yes I am dizzy. 
 
 77 
 
Annette. Sit down! (Pushes him into a chair.) Let me 
 call someone. 
 
 Tanguay. (Alarmed.) Oh! please don't. Tell me once 
 
 more that dream. 
 
 Annette. My dream ! (He takes her hand.) 
 
 Yes, please, just once. The world held 
 
 (Terrified.) Held nothing base, nothing sor- 
 
 Tanguay. 
 
 Annette. 
 did 
 
 Tanguay. 
 
 Annette. 
 
 Tanguay. 
 
 Annette. 
 vision. 
 
 Tanguay. 
 
 Annette. 
 
 Tanguay. 
 himself.) 
 
 Annette. 
 noble. 
 
 Tanguay. 
 noble 
 
 Annette. 
 
 Tanguay. 
 
 Annette. 
 plane 
 
 Tanguay. 
 
 Yes, go on ! 
 That life was one sweet, happy dream 
 
 Perfect sunshine 
 
 Sweet peace, and that in this paradise camt: a 
 
 (Drawing her closer.) A vision of some one 
 
 Who was higher than earth 
 
 Someone who was strong (Struggling with 
 
 Some one who was strong someone who was 
 
 (Bowing his head.) Some one who was 
 
 And some one who was brave. 
 
 And that some one bade you remember 
 
 That in this sweet sunshine there was a higher 
 
 Oh! Annette, 
 
 asion to call you to 
 
 A plane you had not reached, 
 darling, help me. 
 
 Annette. Yes, Alfred. 
 
 Tanguay. Help me. Was I that 
 a higher plane? To a perfect bliss? 
 
 Annette. Yes, Alfred. 
 
 Tanguay. And can I be myself and burst these bonds? 
 
 Annette. Yes, Alfred oh ! Why (A cry as she throws 
 
 herself into his arms.) you can. 
 
 Tanguay. And can I be the perfect nobleman? 
 
 Annette. (Sobbing.) My darling, you are. 
 
 Tanguay. (Rising and holding her in his arms.) Then, 
 before God I will. (Pause.) Annette, they are coming! 
 
 Annette. Oh ! T must run. (Kisses him and goes out.) 
 
 78 
 
Tanguay. My God, that check ! That devil of a Nevers I 
 But I will not believe it. Enter Houghton. Lady Mary, 
 Lord Nevers, Mr. and Mrs. Hampton et al.) 
 
 Mrs. BamptoiL Oh! you have a surprise? I am so glad. 
 
 Mrs. Courteiiay. You are not going to tell us we are 
 sure to go to heaven, that would surprise most of us more 
 than anything else. 
 
 Baby. Oh ! Mr. Houghton, I really thought it was candy, 
 from the happy look you had. 
 
 Lord Nevers. We seem to have had several surprises in 
 the last few days. I wonder if this can really stir us up 
 to interest. 
 
 Houghton. I really think it can. 
 
 Bampton. My good fellow, do not delay. Our curiosity 
 is growing. 
 
 Houghton. Quite the thing, the greater your curiosity the 
 greater will be your surprise. 
 
 Xevers. (Yawning.) Do please begin, reverend sir. (With 
 a sneer.) 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. Oh! don't let us bother, Nevers, it is 
 sure to be a sermon. 
 
 Lady Mary. I am not sure we do not all need a good 
 lecture. 
 
 Houghton. Well, to begin, I have learned there is a 
 detective in the house. I am not sure about English law, 
 but it seems to me there is some kind of penalty attached 
 to such doings. (Nevers and Mrs. Courtenay start.) A 
 certain check signed by the Marquis of San Lucar was 
 abstracted from Miss Palmerston's desk, and while it was 
 returned, comes very near to being called larceny. (Nevers 
 gets uneasy.) Owing to that check being in Miss Palmer- 
 ston's possession unfavorable comments were made about 
 her. It seems, then, in simple justice to her, that this very 
 simple matter should be cleared up. I am the Marquis of 
 San Lucar. (General consternation.) 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. (Raising her glass and staring, then re- 
 covering herself.) The Marquis of San Lucar, why of 
 course, we ought to have known it. Pray forgive our 
 stupidity. How very delightful, and isn't it romantic? 
 
 79 
 
Mrs. Bam t^ ton. (Gasping.) The Marquis of San Lucar, 
 and Annette never told me? 
 
 Mr. Bampton. I knew there was something up. I know 
 that was why I took so to you. 
 
 Lady Mary. The Marquis of San Lucar ! really, I am 
 ashamed of you. 
 
 San Lucar. My dear Lady Mary, what can you possibly 
 mean? 
 
 Lady Mary. Mean, you ought to know. Mean (She 
 
 flounces out.) 
 
 San Lucar. (Walking away.) I trust, Mrs. Courtenay, you 
 are not shocked too? 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. Oh ! not in the least. Come on, Nevers, 
 we will go with the marquis. (Exeunt.) 
 
 Baby. I say, Johnny, it is better than candy. 
 
 Johnny. Oh ! come on and see the fun. Lady Mary is 
 going to have a fit. (Exeunt.) 
 
 Tanguay. (Who, at one side, has heard the confession, 
 and is quite overcome.) My God, my God ! from his own 
 lips, and he here! I won't believe the beasts. I won't! 
 
 There was someone who was higher than earth My 
 
 God, who was strong Oh I how weak I am who 
 
 raised her to a higher plane Oh ! help me, God Almighty, 
 
 to be strong. Oh ! help me to be brave Oh ! I will, I 
 
 love her and she loves me. The Earl of Tanguay will fade 
 
 out of sight and oh ! Lord, have mercy, let the noble 
 
 man remain. 
 
 Curtain. 
 
 80 
 
ACT IV. 
 
 Scene. — Hall of Clamp ton. Time. — Before luncheon. Enter 
 Bampton. Gazing around in a perplexed manner. 
 
 Bampton. Huh the old lady has let me in this time 
 
 for a regular music hall act. She knows I hate variety 
 shows. Regular old theme, sweet persecuted girl, all inno- 
 cence and purity, but raking in the shekels, nevertheless. 
 Noble lord, under great financial stress, in love with said 
 persecuted female. Gang of heartless conspirators egging 
 the two innocents on to their own destruction. Vindictive 
 mother, I mean sister, vowing fire and brimstone. Mysterious 
 
 person turning out to be a prince in disguise. Huh it's 
 
 all right for the stage setting, but the actors don't seem 
 to come to time. And there is no innocent little dove to be 
 dangled over the precipice by the villain, and scream for 
 help (Enter Baby, hearing last fezv words.) 
 
 Baby. Yes, there is, what do you want better than me? 
 
 Bampton. Oh! it's you! (Waking up.) 
 
 Baby. Just in time, now dangle me over the brink. 
 
 Bampton. But, my dear, I am not the villain. I am the 
 hero to rescue you. 
 
 Baby. Well then, hurry up and find the villain. I want 
 
 to be rescued. It will be such fun and I am so innocent. 
 
 y(Crosses her eyes and looks helpless.) 
 
 Bampton. Huh ! you want to be a heroine. 
 
 Baby. Of course I do! Every girl longs to be a heroine. 
 What do I read novels for if it isn't just too lovely to 
 think what I would do in such a situation? 
 
 Bampton. What would you do in the present situation? 
 
 Baby. Fall in love wnth the handsome marquis, of course. 
 
 Bampton. But he has a wnfe! 
 
 Baby. So have you ! 
 
 Bampton. (Meditatively.) Yes, that is true. Wives are 
 not bad things. 
 
 Baby. (Innocently.) Not when they are American 
 heiresses. 
 
 82 
 
Bampton. Little trying sometimes. 
 
 Baby. (With a demure look.) Well, you don't always 
 have to fall in love with your wife. 
 
 Bampton. Huh, there is something true in what you say. 
 
 Baby. But, do you know, I already love the marquis 
 madly? Yes, just madly! He's so romantic. Why, mamma 
 said it was such a pity he was married to that old frump. 
 She feels awfully sorry for him, so do I. 
 
 Bampton. (Looking at Baby inquiringly.) She does? 
 
 Baby. Yes, she says he is so distinguished. Can't quite 
 see how she never saw it before. 
 
 Bampton. She did? 
 
 Baby. Yes, she says he is really noble. One of nature's 
 noblemen 
 
 Bampton. And Dom Pedro's ! 
 
 Baby. Yes, of course, nature and monarchs always play 
 together, you know. Something about divine right. 
 
 Bampton. What a lot you know for a child. 
 
 Baby. I'm not a child. (Pouts.) 
 
 Bampton. No? 
 
 Baby. No, I am just a baby. 
 
 Bampton. Well, you are so innocent, tell me what you 
 think of this fairy tale we have here. 
 
 Baby. What fairy tale? 
 
 Bampton. About the Marquis of San Lucar and Miss 
 Palmerston. 
 
 Baby. Why, Mr. Bampton, what are you talking about? 
 The Marquis of San Lucar and Miss Palmerston, it sounds 
 awful ! 
 
 Bampton. Oh! I see, you are too young to know about 
 such things. 
 
 Baby. I don't know what things you mean. But I do 
 
 know my mamma thinks the marquis such a nice man 
 
 and so good and 
 
 Bampton. Oh! so good, huh! 
 
 Baby. And she says Miss Palmerston is one of the 
 sweetest girls she ever met. 
 
 Bampton. Oh! he is so good, and she is so sweet, huh 
 
 (Johnny enters.) 
 
 Johnny. Who is so sweet? 
 
 83 
 
Baby. I am, Mr. Bampton just said so. 
 
 Bampton. You little barefaced humbug. 
 
 Baby. Now call me names. But, Johnny, isn't Miss 
 Palmerston just sweet? 
 
 Bampton. Just explain that ten thousand pound check. 
 
 Baby. Explain that check? Why, I heard mamma say 
 to Lady Mary if she had to explain every check she got 
 she would go crazy. 
 
 Bampton. Huh and what did Lady Mary say? 
 
 Baby. Why, she said now what did she say? Did 
 
 you hear, Johnny? 
 
 Johnny. Yes, she said she quite believed her. 
 
 Baby. Oh ! yes, and mamma went right off in a huff and 
 she said some people who thought themselves so good weren't 
 any better than they might be. And. Johnny, now I think 
 of it, she looked straight at you. Aren't you good? 
 
 Johnny. Your mamma knows a lot more than is good for 
 her. 
 
 Baby. My mamma is all right. I love my mamma. 
 
 Bampton. (Smiling.) So far as I can find out you love 
 everybody, kind of a family failing, eh ! 
 
 Baby. I don't know what you mean, but I love Miss 
 Palmerston and the Marquis of San Lucar. Mamma said I 
 might. (Enter Madame de San Lucar.) 
 
 Madame de San Lucar. I am very glad if you love my 
 husband, and you are very wise to love Miss Palmerston. 
 They both like children. 
 
 Baby. (Making a courtesy, but not relishing the children.) 
 Yes, Madame, but Mr. Bampton was trying to make out that 
 I should not love Miss Palmerston. 
 
 Madame de San Lucar. He did, why, I wonder? 
 
 Bampton. My dear Marquise, don't believe her. 
 
 Baby. You did, you said it was about the ten thousand 
 pound check. 
 
 Bampton. (Embarrassed.) I am sure you are laboring 
 under a mistake. 
 
 Baby. You did ! You said this was a fairy tale about the 
 Marquis and Miss Palmerston, and you 
 
 Bampton. I didn't what a capacity for mischief, you have 
 got. 
 
 84 
 
Mme. de San Lucar. But, Mr. Bampton, there seems to 
 
 have been something in your mind that needs explanation. 
 
 Baby. He doesn't understand why the Marquis gives Miss 
 
 Palmerston ten thousand pound checks, that is all. I don't 
 
 think his mind works right, does it, Johnny? 
 
 Johnny. I don't know, it always goes and goes 
 
 Baby. Yes, that's just it. It goes and goes and it 
 
 never knows where it is going. 
 
 Mme. de San Lucar. I thought the matter had been 
 sufficiently cleared up. I will find my husband. (Exit.) 
 
 Bampton. A nice mess you have made of it! 
 
 Baby. You called me a little barefaced humbug, so there ! 
 
 Bampton. You are worse! 
 
 Baby. You mustn't call me names, I won't have it. Stand 
 up for me, Johnny ! 
 
 Johnny. I'll stand up for you, sweetheart. (Enter Lady 
 Mary and Nevers.) 
 
 Lady Mary. Did you say sweetheart? Really, you and 
 Baby are growing up. Mr. Bampton, I am ashamed of you 
 
 to let these children act so. As I was saying now what 
 
 was I saying? Lord Nevers, it doesn't matter in the least 
 what either you or Mrs, Courtenay say, or in fact what you 
 do. (Exit Johnny and Baby.) I am going to leave 
 Do you hear, Mr. Bampton? It is all very well for your 
 wife, who, I know, is an excellent and good woman. Now 
 
 what was I saying yes, for her to stand up for Miss 
 
 Palmerston. It is all very well, but I won't, it is too much ! 
 At least it is false pretences, and the scandal of the check 
 
 Bampton. Scandal did you say scandal? Don't say it. 
 
 Lady Mary. But I think it. 
 
 Bampton. Don't say all you think, I never do. 
 
 Lady Mary. (Severely.) I did not know you ever thought. 
 I thought you always said without thinking. 
 
 Bampton. My dear Lady Mary, you surprise me. 
 
 Lady Mary. I think and I act. I acquit your wife of all 
 intentional wrong doing. I only think she is too easily led. 
 She must have been to marry you. (Nevers exit.) 
 
 Bampton. Me, why. Lady Mary, I entirely fail to under- 
 stand you. 
 
 Lady Mary. That is why you are happy. People who 
 
 85 
 
understand things are never happy. 
 
 Bampton. How very miserable you must be, and I had 
 always supposed 3^ou so happy. 
 
 Lady Mary. You did? Well, I am not! I am miserable. 
 I have ruined my life by doing for others. 
 
 Bampton. (Quizzically.) And been so misunderstood? 
 
 Lady Mary. I may have been misunderstood, but I have 
 gone on straight in the path of duty. 
 
 Bampton. Oh ! 
 
 Lady Mary. You do not have to say oh ! it's insulting. I 
 have helped the unfortunate 
 
 Bampton. Oh! 
 
 Lady Mary. I have tried to help my family I have 
 
 stood between my brother 
 
 Bampton. And happiness ! 
 
 Lady Mary. Nothing of the sort! Between him and 
 poverty. I have put my trust in a fair-faced adventuress 
 
 Bampton. You don't mean Mrs. Bampton? 
 
 Lady Mary. Certainly not! Your poor wife is only a fool, 
 and you are the living exemplification of it. 
 
 Bampton. Huh just a kind of aristocratic sign post. 
 
 Lady Mary. Not even that ! The sign is so obscured by 
 age few can read it. 
 
 Bampton. Only the aged, I suppose, who remember me 
 in my youth. 
 
 Lady Mary. You are insulting. For an English gentle- 
 man 
 
 Bampton. I act like a lord, huh Nevers, for instance. 
 
 I won't say Tanguay. 
 
 Lady Mary. Shame to talk to a lady so. 
 
 Bampton. I never do. 
 
 Lady Mary. You are no gentleman. 
 
 Bampton. Such remarks are reserved for one's wife. 
 
 Lady Mary. You mean I say it to Johnson? I do, he 
 deserves it. (Enter Tanguay.) I have found you at last. 
 What did you do with yourself when that miserable marquis 
 threw off his disguise and came out in his true colors? 
 
 Tanguay. I went for a walk. 
 
 Lady Mary. You might better have seen to your packing. 
 Has 3'our man got it done? 
 
 86 
 
Tanguay. He has not been told I am going. 
 
 Lady Mary. But you are going? I have looked for you 
 everywhere, and I have looked for Miss Palmerston too. I 
 couldn't find her. I suppose you have been with her. 
 
 Tanguay. I have not been so lucky as to meet her. 
 
 Lady Mary. But you must at least have tried to say good- 
 bye. 
 
 Tanguay. In fact it never occurred to me. 
 
 Lady Mary. But you must at least be decent. We can't 
 run out of the house as though it were a pest house, although 
 it really is. I actually shudder at the thought ! 
 
 Bampton. Pest house! goodness gracious, has anyone got 
 the smallpox? 
 
 Lady Mary. Something far worse. Tanguay, go at once 
 and tell your man we leave on the three forty-five. 
 
 Tanguay. But I am not going on the three forty-five. 
 
 Lady Mary. What? 
 
 Tanguay. I like it here, and I see no reason to leave. 
 
 Lady Mary. After the awful disclosures? 
 
 Tanguay. (Coolly.) What disclosures? 
 
 Lady Mary. The check for ten thousand pounds. 
 
 Tanguay. (Ill at ease, and Bampton laughs.) The check 
 for ten thousand pounds, what of that? 
 
 Lady Mary. (Impatient.) Tanguay, you will drive me 
 mad. 
 
 Bampton. Please don't go mad, you really have got to 
 restrain yourself. 
 
 Lady Mary. Tanguay, you must leave ! I am going on the 
 three forty-five and you must go Avith me. T do believe you 
 are quite daft about that woman ! 
 
 Tanguay. Well, I am. 
 
 Bampton. Goodness gracious! when she hasn't a cent? 
 
 Lady Mary. (With a sneer.) But the ten thousand pounds. 
 
 Tanguay. (Defiant.) Well, that is something. Perhaps 
 my price isn't as high as yours or Bampton's. 
 
 Lady Mary. What, sell yourself for ten thousand pounds. 
 
 Tanguay. T had as lief sell myself for ten thousand pounds 
 as for a million. When it comes to a money bargain one 
 price is as del stable as another. You and Bampton sold 
 yourselves for more than you were worth, so you cheated 
 
 87 
 
your respective partners. I am worth very little, and if Miss 
 Palmerston is willing to take me, I will go at any price. 
 
 Lady Mary. How vulgar! how very vulgar! 
 
 Bampton. (Indignant.) How outrageously vulgar! I 
 think now, Lady Mary, you ought to be sorry you said those 
 things to me just now. 
 
 Lady Mary. (In wrath.) I am sorry I ever lived. After 
 all I have done, all I have suffered to have it end like that, 
 and the Tanguay peerage to go to such a thing 
 
 Tanguay. Stop! Miss Palmerston is going to be the 
 Countess of Tanguay if ever there is one, and I will not have 
 you say anything against her. In fact you have no reason. 
 The check was a perfectly legitimate transaction, and the 
 presence here of Madame de San Lucar certainly makes 
 everything correct. It is entirely that devil of a Nevers 
 and that Courtenay woman who have put ideas into your 
 head. I shall stay just as long as Miss Palmerston permits. 
 
 Lady Mary. You know, Tanguay, I am no great stickler 
 for morality, but I do draw the line at appearances. 
 
 Tanguay. But who has made the appearances? 
 
 Lady Mary. We were enticed here under false pretences. 
 
 Tanguay. You were the very first to accept those false 
 pretences. When I rebelled at being thrown at Miss Palmer- 
 ston's head as a desirable catch, I said I would never marry 
 a woman capable of enduring such an indignity. 
 
 Lady Mary. (With a sneer.) But you came? 
 
 Tanguay. Yes, I came, but I came, and 1 told you so, 
 saying that I would never marry the heiress. 
 
 Lady Mary. But now you are going to. 
 
 Tanguay. I am not so sure. 
 
 Lady Mary. I am delighted to hear it. 
 
 Tanguay. I am not at all sure that she would have me. 
 She has ideas of her own. 
 
 Lady Mary. Oh! I am so glad she has a little sense of 
 decency. 
 
 Tanguay. I won't hear such talk. She knows her own 
 mind best. 
 
 Lady Mary. And you say she will not marry you? 
 
 Tanguay. She hasn't said she would. 
 
Lady Mary. Ah ! I see. you are poor, and she is after 
 money, of course. Naturally she wouldn't marry you. I quite 
 understand ! 
 
 Tanguay. You do not understand, you never could under- 
 stand, you have not even the faintest idea of the reason she 
 would have not to marry me. You couldn't have after marry- 
 ing Johnson, you could not possibly understand the motives 
 of such a woman. 
 
 Lady Mary. (With rage.) Tanguay. I wash my hands of 
 you henceforth. You shall go your own way. 
 
 Tanguay. I will go my own way. I am going to seek 
 Miss Palmerston. I am going to assure her of my determ- 
 ination. I will stand by her no matter what happens. 
 
 Lady Mary. (With a sneer.) You are in love! 
 
 Tanguay. I am in love, and if one is in love and cannot 
 stand by the woman he loves, he is not fit to ever have a 
 loving, trusting wife, or be called a man. I will be called 
 a man before I will be called a social dead beat. If I am 
 deceived, I will be deceived. There would have been few 
 marytrs if all men and all women were like those we have 
 known. 
 
 Lady Mary. A woman with her past ! 
 
 Tanguay. Past or no past. I love her, I believe in her; in 
 her for what she is now. Surely I am not one to cast 
 stones at her. If she will forgive me, I will forgive her. 
 (Exit.) 
 
 Bampton. Really, Lady Mary, he almost takes my breath 
 away. 
 
 Lady Mary. He entirely takes mine away. What a 
 fool and no money. 
 
 Bampton. Really. Lady Mary, I must go and find the old 
 lady, she does not know what she is missing. (Nevers 
 enters.) My dear fellow, you are just too late. 
 
 Nevers. What's up? 
 
 Bampton. Oh! Lady Mary is just going to have hysterics, 
 and Tanguay has lost his head, and Baby actually sauced 
 me back, and, as Lady Mary will probably faint in a minute, 
 your manly bosom will come in handy. (Exit.) 
 
 Lady Mary. Did you ever see such a fool? 
 
Nevers. (Smiling.) Often, my dear Lady Mary, Bampton 
 is a social necessity. 
 
 Lady Mary. I suppose he is, but what an awful mess we 
 are in. 
 
 Nevers. Are we? You surprise me. 
 
 Lady Mary. Of course we are! I suppose Mrs. Courtenay 
 has been attending to her packing? 
 
 Xevers. Not that I know of. You quite surprise me. 
 
 Lady Mary. You don't mean to say she intends to remain? 
 
 Nevers. I quite think she does. 
 
 Lady Mary. What, after this awful scandal? 
 
 Nevers. I know of no scandal. I do remember you got 
 very excited and said something hasty to the marquis. Do 
 you mean he resented it? 
 
 Lady Mary. Resented it? He resent it? A nice one he 
 would be to resent the natural indignation of an outraged 
 woman. 
 
 Nevers. I fear, Lady Mary, I am entirely at a loss to 
 grasp your meaning. 
 
 Lady Mary. Well, I never 
 
 Nevers. Oh! indeed, never? How very positive you are. 
 
 Lady Mary. And that creature! 
 
 Nevers. What creature? Are there animals around? 
 Now, really? (Puts up his glass and surveys Lady Mary 
 serenely.) 
 
 Lady Mary. (Still more exasperated.) Do you mean to 
 tell me, Lord Nevers, you arc quite lost to all decency? I 
 mean social decency? 
 
 Nevers. Why, my dear friend, long since. That is the 
 reason I enjoy my present peace of mind. Take my advice 
 and lose yours just as fast as you can. It pays, I assure you. 
 
 Lady Mary. Well, you are cool, you are almost heroic! 
 May I ask why you introduced a detective into the house 
 if you had no intention of making use of the information 
 he had gained? 
 
 Nevers. I have made use of it. It has warned me not 
 to propose to a young woman who has no money. It was 
 worth all it cost ! 
 
 90 
 
Lady Mary. But after you gained that information and 
 saved your life from probable wreck, pray why did you 
 continue here? 
 
 Nevers. Simply because I was invited, and so far I have 
 found it very agreeable. And then, because I see no reason 
 for going. You raised the issue as to the source of the 
 money we are enjoying. Surely you know Johnson made 
 his by selling beer, and afterwards by squeezing the market. 
 
 Lady Mary. We will drop that subject. 
 
 Nevers. Oh ! no, we will not, because it happens that both 
 you and I are living on money gotten by unpleasant agencies. 
 I am quite aware that my ancestors did dirty work for our 
 virgin queen. Bless her old heart, she must have had a 
 prophetic dream of how I would need the money. Take my 
 advice, Lady Mary, accept what the gods give you, and what 
 you can readily and safely take, and don't, just because you 
 are safe from starvation, be hard on those who are not. 
 
 Lady Mary. Well I never 
 
 Nevers. Your life, dear Lady Mary, seems to have been 
 made up of omissions. I think I understand the prayer book 
 better since I have known you. You are indeed a mission- 
 ary. (Lady Mary is speechless. Enter Annette. She 
 glares at her and goes out.) 
 
 Annette. What has happened to her? (Smiling.) 
 
 Nevers. She has lost something, and has not the grit to 
 bear her loss with equanimity. 
 
 Annette. Oh! that is too bad. what is it? 
 
 Nevers. Money ! 
 
 Annette. Then I do not wonder, but it must have been a 
 lot to have caused such a look. (Enter Tanguay.) 
 
 Tanguay. I have found you at last. 
 
 Annette. Have you been looking? 
 
 Nevers. I really must go and console Lady Mary. 
 
 Annette. Yes do! (Exit Nevers.) And you have been 
 looking for me? 
 
 Tanguay. Yes, you fled so precipitately. And have you 
 heard nothing? 
 
 Annette. No, what do you mean? 
 
 Tanguay. Oh ! nothing ! 
 
 Annette. You do mean something, please tell me. 
 
 91 
 
Tanguay. You I can't tell you. 
 
 Annette. But you must. 
 
 Tanguay. You know about San Lucar? 
 
 Annette. (Startled.) The marquis, yes 
 
 Tanguay. Then I need not tell you any more. 
 
 Annette. But I don't know what you mean. 
 
 Tanguay. But, Annette, of course you know. I have 
 nothing to tell you. 
 
 Annette. (Distressed.) Of course I know I mean 
 
 Tanguay. Annette! what is it, tell me? 
 
 Annette. But tell me all you know. 
 
 Tanguay. (Worried.) All I know? 
 
 Annette. Yes, tell me all you know. 
 
 Tanguay. (Walking away and choking.) I know very 
 little. Mr. Houghton 
 
 Annette. (Starting.) Mr. Houghton 
 
 Tanguay. (Recovering himself.) Why, Annette, darling, 
 you know, of course, that Mr. Houghton is just the Marquis 
 of San Lucar. in disguise? 
 
 Annette. (Hesitating.) Well 
 
 Tanguay. Well, he came in to tell the people 
 
 that 
 
 Annette. You stammer? 
 
 Tanguay. No, I don't stammer. (Trying to lauqh.) 
 
 Annette. You do! There is something I do not know. 
 
 Tanguay. Is there? (Hopeful.) What don't you know? 
 
 Annette. (Agitated.) Why, about this this marquis 
 
 of San Lucar. 
 
 Tanguay. Oh ! my God, can I stand this ? Why is she 
 not frank? (Aside.) 
 
 Annette. You do not answer me. Alfred, please! 
 
 Tanguay. (Going to her.) Yes, dear. It is only that he 
 said he was the Marquis of San Lucar, and he hoped that 
 would clear up any misunderstanding that we might have. 
 
 Annette. He did, he said that? 
 
 Tanguay. Yes, isn't Mr. Houghton the Marquis of San 
 Lucar ? 
 
 Annette. Yes, but why should he come forward and say 
 so 
 
 Tanguay. Why not say so, if he is? 
 
 92 
 
Annette. But you said it was to clear up something, 
 
 Tanguay. Did I? (Affecting carelessness.) Oh! I forgot. 
 
 Annette. You are trying to keep something from me. 
 
 Tanguay. Well, if I am, do I do anything wrong? 
 
 Annette. But it seems I ought to know, 
 
 Tanguay. It was nothing ! Just a little something about 
 money, I believe. 
 
 Annette. About money, what could it be? 
 
 Tanguay. About nothing much. Only the marquis said 
 he had heard something that made it better that he should 
 own up to his real character. Everyone seemed delighted, 
 and Mrs, Courtenay remarked that there was something very 
 distinguished about him, 
 
 Annette. I must see him at once. 
 
 Tanguay. (Struggling with himself.) Don't go now, tl^ere 
 is plenty of time, 
 
 Annette. But it worries me, I must see him. I must learn 
 what made him take this step. (Starts to go out.) 
 
 Tanguay. Stay, it is almost time for luncheon. You can 
 see him then. 
 
 Annette. True! (Uneasily.) 
 
 Tanguay. It is all cleared up. You know this morning 
 you made me very happy. 
 
 Annette. Ah! Alfred, it was you that made me happy. 
 
 Tanguay. I am glad I could, my darling. 
 
 Annette. It seems to me as though I understood as I 
 never understood before 
 
 Tanguay. What was it, sweetheart? 
 
 Annette. (Laying her head against his arm.) You know 
 in the service 
 
 Tanguay. Yes! (Putting his arm around her.) 
 
 Annette. For better, for worse Oh! Alfred, it is so 
 
 glorious to have some one trust you, 
 
 Tanguay. Yes, my dear ! (His face distorted.) 
 
 Annette. And to have that one strong. 
 
 Tanguay. Yes, strong ! 
 
 Annette. And there is a higher plane, and to that higher 
 plane you and I can go together. 
 
 Tanguay. Yes, oh ! yes, 
 
 93 
 
(Enter San Lucar, Lady Mary, his wife and the rest 
 following as Dumbell announces luncheon.) 
 
 San Lucar. As I was saying, Lady Mary, you do not yet 
 understand the situation. As you are aware I really am a 
 freak. 
 
 Lady Mary. A freak, what is that? 
 
 San Lucar. A freak, dear madam, is the American term 
 for something unusual. 
 
 Lady Mary. Well, you are that ! 
 
 San Lucar. It pleases me to state I am. I was always 
 unusual. The usual bored me extremely. 
 
 Lady Mary. But you posed as a clergyman of the church. 
 
 San Lucar. I am. I started out in life with the intention 
 of being a good one. 
 
 Lady Mary. (With cuifhasis.) Well, if you were, that 
 was certainly unusual. 
 
 San Lucar. You see I had no chance, for just as I had 
 laid all my plans for being a good clergyman my poor uncle 
 whom the whole family had forgotten, in fact had long con- 
 sidered dead, did really pass away and leave me any amount 
 of property. This property is the vexation of my life. I am 
 disinclined to manage it myself, and so have been looking 
 for an honest man to do it for me. 
 
 Lady Mary. Is it so difficult? 
 
 San Lucar. Rather. I must have a gentleman, a man of 
 honor, an honest man. and one with brains. 
 
 Lady Mary. Really, marquis, you want the earth. 
 
 San Lucar. Well, yes, but strange as it may seem, I have 
 found my man. 
 
 Lady Mary. (Putting up her glass.) Really, and where 
 did you find him? 
 
 San Lucar. Right here ! 
 
 Lady Mary. Here, where? (Gazing around.) 
 
 San Lucar. Your brother, the Earl of Tanguay. He 
 confided to me this morning that he wanted to earn a decent 
 living. I told him I thought I could help him. We have 
 agreed. He is to go out to the Argentine at a certain salary 
 with ample opportunities to do for himself. 
 
 Lady Mary. But. Marquis, this does not explain the un- 
 happy matter to which I alluded. 
 
 94 
 
San Lucar. Oh ! you mean the ten thousand pound check 
 and the unpleasant construction put on it by Lord Nevers. 
 
 Annette. (Starting.) What is this? (To Tanguay.) 
 Tangiiay. Hush! (She leans on his arm.) 
 
 San Lucar. I think Lord Nevers understands that matter 
 fully. (Nevers bows.) I regret you persist in continuing 
 the subject, Annette, Miss Palmerston, is a very old friend 
 of my wife. She is clever, with great social experience. 
 When I wished to find a man I could trust, and see some- 
 thing also of English society, I asked her to take a house 
 in England and gather about her a circle of friends and let 
 me be one of her guests in my true character, a clergyman 
 and a seeker after truth, and not in the garish light of a 
 South American Croesus, a role as unpleasant to me as it 
 is difficult to maintain. That you did not know the truth 
 does not in my mind alter the situation. Neither Miss 
 Palmerston nor I have appeared in any false light, simply 
 in our true colors. If certain phases of English society 
 desire to find in Annette a great heiress, we surely are not 
 to blame. And if you are a little bitter because you consider 
 she accepted checks to pay my bills, against what you esteem 
 the accepted dictum of your set, you have, I think, Lady 
 Mary, your own haste to blame. 
 
 Mrs. Coiirtenay. I think, my dear Marquis, it ]ias been all 
 very foolish. I for one consider Lady Mary Johnson not 
 only to have been bitter, but unkind. 
 
 Nevers. Surely, Lady Mary, you must admit you have 
 precipitated a most distressing scene. 
 
 Baby. Mamma, do you suppose :\Iiss Palmerston would 
 just let me hold that ten thousand pound check for a minute? 
 (Annette starts.) 
 
 Mrs. Courtenay. Hush ! 
 
 Bampton. You little nuisance I 
 
 Johnny. Let's eat. 
 
 Mrs. Bampton. I trust. Lady Mary, you are quite content. 
 The Marquis and Marquise are passing into the dining room. 
 (Exeunt all but Tanguay and Annette. Annette has with- 
 drawn behind some palms, and Tanguay, at one side, looks 
 at her. After all the others have entered the dining room 
 she comes forward.) 
 
 95 
 
Annette. Alfred Alfred! 
 
 Tanguay. (Moving up.) Yes, dearest. 
 
 Annette. Did you hear about the check? 
 
 Tanguay. Yes I heard. (Radiant.) 
 
 Annette. And is it true? 
 
 Tanguay. Is what true? 
 
 Annette. Is it true that that check a mis- 
 apprehension ? 
 
 Tanguay. Yes, dear, it did ! 
 
 Annette. And did they think think oh! 
 
 Alfred did they (Gasping) think 
 
 Tanguay. (Disturbed.) Did they think what? 
 
 Annette. Did they think oh ! Alfred, I can't say it. 
 
 (Buries her face in his shoulder.) 
 
 Tanguay. Don't think of it, darling, it is not worth while. 
 
 Annette. (Recovering herself.) Oh! my God, Alfred. 
 
 Lord Tanguay, tell me, did you believe it? That that 
 
 thing did you believe it? 
 
 Tanguay. (Disturbed.) I love you ! 
 
 Annette. You believed believed believed it 
 
 can't be true. 
 
 Tanguay. (Eagerly.) It is not true. 
 
 Annette. You heard me maligned you heard proof 
 
 Lady Mary seemed certain it must have seemed like 
 
 proof and you you you. Oh ! God, what am I 
 
 saying? You loved me, you heard I was bad, you had 
 
 evidence of my sin and you loved me you still 
 
 love me and stood by me? 
 
 Tanguay. I should always stand by you. 
 
 Annette. You could love me when everything was against 
 me. 
 
 Tanguay. Yes ! 
 
 Annette. You could be true to me when your reason and 
 your common sense told you better? 
 
 Tanguay. Oh ! Annette. 
 
 Annette. Tell me, Alfred, you could love me even then? 
 
 Tanguay. For better or for worse! 
 
 Annette. (Moving close to him, and laying her hand on 
 
 his shoulder.) I saw a vision I see it now. A vision 
 
 of someone who was higher than earth someone who was 
 
 96 
 
strong who was noble who was fearless who 
 
 was brave. (Tanguay bows his head.) And this someone 
 bade me remember in this sweet sunshine, this perfect bliss, 
 
 there was a higher plane (Tanguay's head sinks lower.) 
 
 and to that plane I had not reached. (She sinks on her knees 
 and kisses his hand.) Alfred, T am not worthy to be your 
 wife. 1 am frivolous and vain. But if you will take me to 
 that far off land 1 will come to the plane to which you may 
 lead me. Alfred, dearest, T am not wicked, only weak. But 
 you have been, and are, my vision, my sweet vision, leading 
 me to perfect peace. (He raises her in his arms and kisses 
 her.) 
 
 Curtain 
 
 97 
 
FEB 
 
 5 1912 
 
One copy del. to Cat. Div. 
 
 f£b 15 ISU