American Dramatists Series 
 
 ^ome people ilarrp 
 
 aaobert gl. Hasper 
 
 
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Class ______ 
 
 Book___ 
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 COPYRIGHT DEPOSnv 
 
American Dramatists Series 
 
 SOME 
 PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 A Play in Three Acts 
 
 ROBERT A. KASPER 
 
 AUTHOR OF "the MAN YOU LOVE** 
 
 BOSTON: RICHARD G. BADGER 
 
 TORONTO: THE COPP CLARK CO., LIMITED 
 
Copyright, 1914, by Robert A. Kasper 
 
 Dramatic and all Other Rights Reserved 
 
 
 a 5 ^r 
 
 The Gorham Press, Boston, U. S. A. 
 
 ©OLD 3849 
 
To 
 
 Frederick, William and Simeon Kasper 
 
 With all brotherly affection 
 
 I dedicate this play 
 
CAST OF CHARACTERS: 
 
 Oliver Marlowe. 
 Mary Marlowe, his wife. 
 Daniel Marlowe, their son. 
 Doctor James Cornell. 
 Ethel Cornell, his daughter. 
 ''Bud" Mears. 
 
ACT I. 
 
 Parlor in the Marlowe home. 
 
 ACT II. 
 
 Library in the Cornell home. 
 
 ACT III. 
 Same as Act I. 
 
 SETTING: 
 
 The action of the play occurs upon the evening of 
 the birthday of Daniel Marlowe. 
 
 Door right, leading into the dining room; door 
 left, leading into the library; door center, leading 
 into the hall. Other accessories, such as tables, 
 davenpor-t, chairs, etc., set about the room. 
 
SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 ACT I. 
 
 Parlor in the Marlowe home. 
 
 (The curtain rises upon an empty stage. Imme- 
 diately Oliver Marlowe, a man of fifty-two years 
 of age, enters door right. He crosses to mantel 
 left and takes down a box of cigars. He turns to 
 recross as his wife, Mary Marlowe, enters door 
 right. Mrs. Marlowe is fifty years of age. She is 
 very excited and looks nervously baick to door right 
 to make sure no one is coming.) 
 
 MARLOWE. 
 
 You shouldn't have left them. 
 
 MRS. MARLOWE. 
 
 (Excitedly.) 
 
 I had to see you, to talk to you alone. What 
 shall we do? 
 
 MARLOWE. 
 
 Simply keep on pretending nothing ever happened. 
 Now hurry back. 
 
 (Crosses with box of cigars to center of stage.) 
 9 
 
lo SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 MRS. MARLOWE, 
 
 Yes, yes! But suppose the doctor recognizes me? 
 
 MARLOWE. 
 
 Don't be silly. He's been here almost two hours 
 and hasn't recognized you yet. 
 
 MRS. MARLOWE. 
 
 But he suspects! You know that! 
 
 MARLOWE. 
 
 (Impatiently.) 
 
 For goodness' sakes, don't be looking for trouble. 
 
 MRS. MARLOWE. 
 
 Oh, I'm not; but I'm so worried! 
 
 MARLOWE. 
 
 (Crosses to his wife and puts his hand tenderly 
 upon her shoulder.) 
 
 I don't blame you, dear. It's hard, I know. But 
 the best thing you can do is forget you ever saw the 
 doctor before to-night. Do that. Please. 
 
 (Pats her gently upon the back.) 
 
ACT I II 
 
 MRS. MARLOWE. 
 
 I'll try, I'll try. 
 
 MARLOWE. 
 
 You've done remarkably well so far, but you 
 should cheer up a bit. Put on a bold front. Act 
 happy and gay. Then if the doctor does recognize 
 you, you will be in a fine position to talk him out 
 of it. 
 
 MRS. MARLOWE. 
 I'll do my best, my very best. 
 MARLOWE. 
 
 That's a brave girl. 
 
 (Regards Mrs. Marlowe tenderly as she exits 
 right.) 
 
 (A pause, during which Marlowe takes several 
 cigars from the box he holds and places them in a 
 glass on the center table. He crosses and puts the 
 box back on the mantel.) 
 
 (In a moment, Mrs. Marlowe is heard to laugh 
 off stage right. Marlowe looks toward door right 
 and shows great pleasure when he hears his wife's 
 laugh.) 
 
 (Mrs. Marlowe and Doctor Cornell enter right. 
 Doctor Cornell is fifty years of age.) 
 
12 SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 MRS. MARLOWE. 
 
 (To Doctor Cor?iell as they enter.) 
 
 Doctor, you're an old flatterer. 
 
 (Daniel Marlowe and Ethel Cornell enter right. 
 Their ages are twenty-eight and twenty-six years re- 
 spectively.) 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 (To Mrs. Marlowe.) 
 
 I'm sincere. It was a most sumptuous dinner. 
 
 MRS. MARLOWE. 
 (Pleased.) 
 Thank 5^ou. I am very glad you enjoyed it. 
 
 MARLOWE. 
 
 (Proudly.) 
 
 She planned and prepared it all herself, doctor. 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 So I understand. I should walk miles for such 
 dinners. 
 
ACT I 13 
 
 MRS. MARLOWE. 
 
 (Pleased.) 
 Really! 
 
 (Then disappointedly.) 
 
 But Daniel has invited you so often and this is 
 the first time you have come. 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 To think I have deprived myself of such a pleas- 
 ure. 
 
 MRS. MARLOWE. 
 
 We shall expect you as a frequent guest. 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 You shall not be disappointed, I assure you. 
 
 MARLOWE. 
 
 I don't approve of my wife doing the work, but 
 it's so hard to keep servants nowdays. They come 
 to us as green as the old sod, but after a few months, 
 either the policeman on the beat has spoiled them or 
 else some book agent or grocery clerk has taught 
 them a frenzied finance beyond our means. 
 
14 SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 We have the same difficulty. — But I envy you, 
 Marlov^e. The servant problem is most fortunate 
 in your case. 
 
 (Mrs. Marloive shows pleasure.) 
 
 MARLOWE. 
 
 (To Doctor Cornell as he offers cigars.) 
 
 Have a cigar. 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 Thank you. 
 
 (Takes a cigar and lights it. Marlowe also 
 lights a cigar.) 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (Lightly.) 
 
 Father, you ought to give the doctor a box of 
 cigars after all the fine compliments he paid mother. 
 
 MRS. MARLOWE. 
 
 (Offended.) 
 
 The doctor wasn't seeking reward. 
 
 (To Doctor Cornell.) 
 
 Were you? 
 
ACT I 15 
 
 DR. CORNELL, 
 (Smiles.) 
 Of course not. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 Mother, don't be so serious. 
 
 (Crosses close to her.) 
 
 I hope I haven't hurt you. 
 
 (Kisses her; regards her.) 
 
 You dear old mother. 
 
 MRS. MARLOWE. 
 
 (Smiles upon her son and pats his cheek.) 
 
 My boy! 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (To Doctor Cornell by way of apology.) 
 
 Mother is always very serious upon my birthday. 
 
 DR. CORNELL, 
 
 (To Daniel.) 
 
 Mothers usually are. Birthdays remind them 
 their children are gradually nearing the realization 
 
i6 SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 of their own little household. And how they miss 
 them! 
 
 (Marloive mid his wife regard each other under- 
 standingly.) 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 Now don't you sermonize, father. 
 
 DR. CORNELL, 
 
 I won't, dear. 
 
 (To Mrs. Marlowe.) 
 
 (Lightly.) 
 
 I'm the most henpecked father in the whole 
 world. 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 (Affectionately.) 
 
 If I didn't henpeck you just a little, you'd say I 
 was neglecting you. 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 (Smilingly.) 
 I give in, dear. 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 Because you know I'm right. 
 
ACT I 17 
 
 DR. CORNELL, 
 
 Of course. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 Ethel, you have your father well trained. 
 
 ETHEL. 
 (To Daniel.) 
 (Banteringly.) 
 Wait till you see how I train the man I marry. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 (Chestily.) 
 Why refer that matter to me? 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 Mr. Ego, I said wait and see. If you were the 
 man, I'd have you in such doubt and despair you 
 couldn't see. Smarty! 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (Lightly.) 
 Oh! 
 
 (Doctor Cornell smiles good naturedly.) 
 
i8 SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 MARLOWE. 
 
 (Takes book from table and offers it to Doctor 
 Cornell.) 
 
 This is the book I spoke of at dinner. 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 Oh, yes. 
 
 (Takes book and fumbles for glasses.) 
 
 I've lost my glasses. 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 Again, father? 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 I'll disappoint you this time, dear. I left them 
 on the dinner table. 
 
 (Turns to exit right to go for glasses.) 
 
 ETHEL. 
 I'll fetch them, father. 
 (Starts to exit right.) 
 
 DANIEL. 
 (Crosses.) 
 
ACT I 19 
 
 111 go, Ethel. 
 
 (Ethel stops.) 
 
 (Daniel indicates to Ethel by action she should go 
 with him. She smiles coyly, regards Mr. and Mrs. 
 Marlowe and her father and exits right with Dan- 
 iel.) 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 (Tosses book on table.) 
 (Regards Mrs. Marlowe; to her.) 
 I can't get over the resemblance. 
 
 MARLOWE. 
 So you remarked several times at dinner. 
 MRS. MARLOWE. 
 
 (Calmly.) 
 
 I'm always reminding people of someone else. I 
 must be quite a common type. 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 No, no. Not at all. 
 
 (Rega7'ds Mrs. Marlowe.) 
 
 Strange hov^r much you look like her. 
 
20 SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 MRS. MARLOWE. 
 
 (Calmly.) 
 
 You certainlj^ have aroused my curiosity. Who 
 is she ? An old flame ? 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 (Smilingly.) 
 
 Oh, no! 
 
 (Seriously.) 
 
 A patient I met in the course of my early prac- 
 tice in Trenton. 
 
 (Reflectively.) 
 
 I've often wondered what became of her. 
 
 MRS. MARLOWE. 
 You seem concerned. 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 About her welfare, yes. 
 
 MRS. MARLOWE. 
 Won't you tell us about her? 
 
ACT I 21 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 (Is thoughtful a moment, then regards Mrs. Mar- 
 lowe.) 
 
 I shouldn't have spoken of the resemblance. It 
 wasn't very complimentary. You'll pardon me, 
 won't you? 
 
 MRS. MARLOWE. 
 
 I don't understand. 
 
 (Marlowe indicates to his wife by action she 
 should drop the subject.) 
 
 (To Doctor Cornell.) 
 
 Of course we'll pardon you, doctor. 
 
 (Doctor Cornell is thoughtful.) 
 
 (Daniel and Ethel enter right.) 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 (Holds her father s glasses behind her back.) 
 You've lost them again, father. 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 (Thoughtfully.) 
 
 I can't imagine where . 
 
22 SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 (Interrupts.) 
 
 *' 1 could have put them." 
 
 (Laughs.) 
 
 That's what father always says. 
 
 (To father.) 
 
 Here they are. 
 
 (Produces and offers glasses to her father.) 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 (Takes glasses.) 
 (To Ethel.) 
 You're a terrible tease. 
 
 ETHEL. 
 (Places her face close to her father s.) 
 Is I? 
 (Kisses him.) 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 (Lightly.) 
 You sure is. 
 
ACT I 23 
 
 (Ethel laughs.) 
 
 (Doctor Cornell adjusts glasses to his nose, takes 
 up book and glances over it.) 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 Doctor, I guess you're very much like father. 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 (Looks up.) 
 
 • How's that? 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 Give father a book and a good cigar, and he's set 
 for the night. 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 It beats theatres and cafes and tango dancing. 
 
 (To Marlowe.) 
 
 Doesn't it? 
 
 (Marlowe consents with a shake of the head.) 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 Father included tango dancing, because he can^t 
 keep up with the new steps. 
 
24 SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 rU admit they're inventing them a bit too fast 
 for me. 
 
 (Puts book down.) 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 (To her father.) 
 
 I really believe you're getting old. 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 As far as you're concerned, I don't forget I was 
 young once myself. 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 You're just a dear. 
 
 (Crosses to her father and gives him a hug.) 
 
 (Father and daughter stand with their arms about 
 each other.) 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 (To Mr. and Mrs. Marlowe.) 
 
 If she had her way, she'd have me chasing to 
 dances every night. I learned the so-called " Bear " 
 just to please her. Then one night, when she had 
 
ACT I 25 
 
 me all primed to make a big hit, to my horror I 
 learned the " Bear " was out of vogue. 
 
 (Mr. and Mrs. Marlowe smile.) 
 ETHEL. 
 
 And father was some bear. 
 
 (Looks up at her father smilingly.) 
 
 (Daniel is amused.) 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 (Lightly.) 
 
 (To Ethel.) 
 
 Now, now. 
 
 (Ethel laughs and crosses.) 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 I can plainly see, the doctor is decidedly more in- 
 terested in books. 
 
 (To Doctor Cornell.) 
 
 You should see father's library. 
 
 (Regards Ethel slyly.) 
 
 (To his father.) 
 
 Do show the doctor your library, father. 
 
26 SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 DR. CORNELL, 
 
 It would indeed be a pleasure. 
 MARLOWE. 
 Then come along, doctor. 
 
 (Crosses to exit left. Doctor Cornell also 
 crosses left.) 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (Aside to his mother.) 
 
 Mother, as hostess you should accompany the doc- 
 tor and father. 
 
 MP^S. MARLOWE. 
 
 (Innocently.) 
 
 How stupid of me! 
 
 (Daniel and Ethel regard each other and both 
 seem amused and pleased.) 
 
 (Doctor Cornell and Marlowe exit left, followed 
 by Mrs. Marlowe.) 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (Crosses to Ethel.) 
 That was easy. 
 
ACT I 27 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 (Smiles.) 
 
 (Somewhat seriously.) 
 
 But selfish. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (Kisses her.) 
 
 So was that. 
 
 (They regard each other contejitedly and seat 
 themselves.) 
 
 (Seriously.) 
 
 They'll be back in a minute, so I'll have to work 
 fast. 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 (Puzzled.) 
 
 What do you mean? 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 I'll be rather blunt and omit the frills you find 
 in plays and books. 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 (Suddenly enlightened but pretending innocence.) 
 I know! You're going to tell me a funny story. 
 
28 SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 DANIEL, 
 
 (Offended.) 
 
 (A drawl.) 
 
 Yes. 
 
 (Recovers his composure and decides to tease 
 Ethel.) 
 
 Pat said to Mike . 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 (Interrupts.) 
 (Disappointedly.) 
 That isn't it at all. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (Still teasing her.) 
 
 No. It was the story about Casey and Kelly. 
 Said Casey . 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 (Interrupts.) 
 (Peevishly.) 
 I'm angr)^ 
 
29 
 
 ACT I 
 DANIEL, 
 
 (Regards her tantalizingly a moment and laughs.) 
 Sure cure. 
 (Kisses her.) 
 (Regards her.) 
 Cured ? 
 
 ETHEL. 
 (Looks up.) 
 
 (Drolly.) 
 Not exactly. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 (Smiles.) 
 
 Shall I tell you, Ethel? 
 
 ETHEL. 
 (Somewhat indifferently.) 
 Well? 
 
 DANIEL. 
 I want you to giYt me a birthday present. 
 
30 SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 (All smiles again.) 
 
 Oh, I almost forgot ! I've ordered the most beau- 
 tiful smoking set for you. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 This is another kind of a present. 
 
 (He looks into her eyes; she in his.) 
 
 You! 
 
 (Ethel lowers her head and looks lovingly out 
 of the corners of her eyes at Daniel. He regards 
 her and she looks down.) 
 
 (Daniel takes a solitaire from his pocket.) 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 (Looks up and forgetting herself, eagerly takes 
 the ring from Daniel.) 
 
 (Elated.) 
 
 Oh! That's beautiful! 
 
 (She suddenly realizes her indiscretion, becomes 
 embarrassed and drops the ring in Daniel's hand.) 
 
 (Daniel laughs.) 
 
ACT I 31 
 
 That isn't fair. 
 
 (She hides her head.) 
 
 (Daniel smiles at Ethel and places the ring on 
 her finger.) 
 
 (Ethel slowly raises her head. They regard each 
 other and Daniel embraces her.) 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (As though to himself.) 
 
 All fixed. 
 
 ETHEL. 
 I haven't said, " Yes." 
 
 DANIEL. 
 And you haven't said, " No." 
 
 ETHEL. 
 I might: 
 
 DANIEL. 
 If you do, I'll . 
 
 ETHEL. 
 (Interrupts.) 
 
 You w^ould soon forget all about me and in a 
 short time tell the next one, she's the only, only. 
 
32 SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 That isn't very complimentary to yourself. 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 Oh, I don't know! The divorce courts have 
 long ago exploded the ancient idea that marriages 
 are made in heaven. 
 
 (Regards ling.) 
 
 It is beautiful! 
 
 (Smiles upon Daniel, puts her arms about him 
 and embraces him.) 
 
 Is your father's librar}^ very large? 
 
 DANIEL. 
 Why? 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 I was just hoping the folks wouldn't come back, 
 for a long, long time. 
 
 (Gives him a hug.) 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (Impulsively.) 
 
 I always thought the girl I'd marry would be just 
 like that. 
 
ACT I 33 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 That's wicked. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 Well, you started the hoping partj^ and as an ac- 
 tive member I shall see there's no dissension in our 
 ranks. 
 
 (Hugs her tightly.) 
 
 ETHEL. 
 You're too rough. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 Which proves Vm an amateur. 
 
 ETHEL. 
 Then 5?ou're only pretending. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 I'm some pretender. 
 (Hugs her more tightly.) 
 
 ETHEL. 
 Don't! 
 
 (Breaks fro?n him.) 
 
 I'll agree you're an amateur. 
 
34 SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (Smiles.) 
 
 We'll have to let evetyone in on the secret right 
 away. 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 You must speak to your father and mother first. 
 Perhaps they won't like me. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 You know they will. Of course I haven't told 
 them of my intentions. But I will when you and 
 your father leave, and then I'll come up and arrange 
 matters with my father-in-law-to-be. 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 (Impulsively.) 
 
 Tonight? 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 I should say tonight. 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 And you can go along in the electric when I take 
 father to the lecture. 
 
ACT I 35 
 
 DANIEL, 
 
 (Enth usiastically.) 
 
 Fine! 
 
 (Thoughtfully.) 
 
 Oh say, Ethel, why not take the gas car and have 
 the chauffeur drive? 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 You surely are a wicked child. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 (Smilingly.) 
 
 Which means it shall be the gas car. 
 
 (They regard each other happily.) 
 
 (Reflectively.) 
 
 Ethel, I know a lot of " boobs " who are batch- 
 ing it. They go out one night with this girl and the 
 next with that one, with a night at the club thrown 
 in now and then, and they really think they're liv- 
 ing. 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 If they all had your eyes, Dan, Fd be a wonder- 
 fully popular girl. 
 
36 SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (Looks off stage.) 
 
 The library fans are coming, Ethel. 
 
 ETHEL. 
 (Excitedly.) 
 
 I'll have to take this ring off. 
 (Starts to do so.) 
 
 DANIEL. 
 (Prevents her.) 
 No. It will be bad luck. 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 But we don't want them to know, now. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (Takes Ethers arm and crosses with her to exit 
 right.) 
 
 Come on. We'll have to figure this thing out. 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 I might put on my gloves. 
 
ACT I 37 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (Lightly.) 
 
 That's it! We'll put on your gloves. 
 
 (They smile happily upon each other and hur- 
 riedly exit right.) 
 
 (Mr. and Mrs. Marlowe and Doctor Cornell 
 enter left.) 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 (Carries an ancient looking book in his hand and 
 wears his glasses.) 
 
 Well do I remember this book. It was quite the 
 rage some thirty odd years ago. 
 
 MRS. MARLOWE. 
 
 (Nervously.) 
 
 It's very dusty. 
 
 (Offers to relieve the doctor of the book.) 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 (Takes out handkerchief.) 
 
 Not at all 
 
38 SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 (Dusts book with handkerchief.) 
 
 There. 
 
 (Regards book.) 
 
 The most wonderful book of its kind I believe I 
 have ever read. 
 
 (Opens book.) 
 
 MRS. MARLOWE. 
 
 (Nervously.) 
 
 You'll only soil your hands. 
 
 (Again offers to take the book.) 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 It's perfectly all right. 
 
 (Brushes hand over book.) 
 
 (Shows hand.) 
 
 See? 
 
 (Opens book. Stops at fly page with a start.) 
 
 (Reads excitedly.) 
 
 Mary Sanders! 
 
ACT I 39 
 
 (Looks up at Mrs. Marlowe. To her.) 
 
 You knew her? 
 
 MRS. MARLOWE. 
 
 (Excitedly.) 
 
 Yes, yes! That's why I was interested when you 
 spoke of her! 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 But I didn't mention her name. 
 
 MRS. MARLOWE. 
 
 (Excitedly.) 
 
 No, no! I guessed it! She often referred to 
 you ; of the way you befriended her ! 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 (Regards Mrs. Marlowe quizzically.) 
 You! 
 
 MRS. MARLOWE. 
 
 (Very excitedly.) 
 
 I do resemble her! I admit that! 
 
40 SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 Your actions betrayed j^ou from the moment I 
 took this book. 
 
 MRS. MARLOWE. 
 
 I knew what it would mean when you saw the 
 name; how difficult it would be to convince you of 
 your error. For my boy's sake, I did not want you, 
 even for a single moment to think that I — . Don't 
 you realize what it would mean to him? You're 
 quite wrong. 
 
 (To husband.) 
 
 Isn't he, Oliver? 
 
 MARLOWE. 
 
 Of course. 
 
 (To Doctor Cornell.) 
 
 (Coolly.) 
 
 My wife's maiden name was Merrel, not Sanders. 
 She knew the woman you speak of, knew her quite 
 well, years ago. The resemblance between them 
 was quite marked, so marked in fact they were fre- 
 quently taken for each other. Why, only last year 
 a total stranger to my wife niade the same mistake 
 you are making now. 
 
ACT I 41 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 (Sloivly and thoughtfully.) 
 
 It can't be possible that I — . 
 
 (Stops and regards Mrs. Marlowe.) 
 
 (Reflectively.) 
 
 I must confess it's some thirty odd years since I 
 saw this woman. 
 
 MARLOWE. 
 
 (Coolly and quickly.) 
 
 She was perhaps twenty, then. Women change a 
 great deal between that age and fifty, doctor. 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 (Thoughtfully.) 
 
 That's true. 
 
 (Regards Mrs. Marlowe.) 
 
 The resemblance is wonderful. 
 
 (He is thoughtful a moment.) 
 
 I trust you'll pardon me. 
 
42 SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 MRS. MARLOWE. 
 
 (Greatly relieved.) 
 
 Gladly, doctor. 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 (To Mrs. Marlowe.) 
 
 (Still thoughtful.) 
 
 So you knew her? Have you heard anything 
 of her since she left Trenton? 
 
 MRS. MARLOWE. 
 
 Not a word. She seems to have dropped com- 
 pletely out of sight. 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 Strange, isn't it? Over thirty years since she's 
 been heard from, and yet we sometimes say it's a 
 small world after all. 
 
 (Daniel and Ethel enter right.) 
 
 (Ethel wears her gloves.) 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 Father, I thought you'd never finish inspecting 
 Mr. Marlowe's library. 
 
ACT I 43 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 (Lightly.) 
 
 Daniel must be a terrible bore. 
 
 ETHEL. 
 He isn't very strong for the women, father. 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 For the women. I can plainly see that. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 (To Doctor Cornell.) 
 Now I know you and I will get along famously. 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 (Abruptly.) 
 How's that? 
 
 DANIEL. 
 (Embarrassed.) 
 
 Oh, well, — you're so congenial. 
 (Ethel laughs.) 
 
44 SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 Thank you. 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 I'm all ready, father. You have only an hour to 
 prepare for your lecture. 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 (Consults watch.) 
 
 Goodness! I'd forgotten all about the time. 
 
 (Crosses and takes up hat and cane.) 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 (To Mr. and Mrs. Marlowe.) 
 You must come and see us soon. 
 
 MRS. MARLOWE. 
 Thank you. We will. 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 (To Mr. and Mrs. Marlowe.) 
 We'll expect you. 
 
ACT I 45 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 (To Mr. and Mrs. Marhive.) 
 
 I am glad to have met both of you. I wanted to 
 come long ago, but I have been terribly busy. 
 
 MARLOWE. 
 
 In future, I trust it shall be pleasure before busi- 
 ness. 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 Yes, yes. To be sure. 
 
 (To Mrs. Marlowe as he takes her hand.) 
 
 Again I congratulate j^ou on the dinner. 
 
 MRS. MARLOWE. 
 Thank you. 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 (To Mrs. Marloive.) 
 Good night. 
 
 MRS. MARLOWE. 
 Good night, doctor. 
 
46 SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 (To Marlowe.) 
 
 Good night, Marlowe. 
 
 MARLOWE. 
 
 Good night. 
 
 (They shake hands.) 
 
 We must have a real book fest soon. 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 By all means. 
 
 (To Daniel.) 
 
 I trust you may see many more birthdays and that 
 each shall find you as happy as this one. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 Thank you, doctor. 
 
 (Looks slyly at Ethel.) 
 
 This is the best birthday yet. 
 
 (Ethel shows pleasure.) 
 
 (Mr. and Mrs. Marlowe cross to center exit with 
 Doctor Cornell.) 
 
ACT I 47 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 (Crosses to Daniel.) 
 Don't be late. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 I won't. Have your father in good humor. 
 
 ETHEL. 
 I'll argue with him and give in. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 That will make him suspicious. 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 (Smiles.) 
 
 I'll tell him the " Bear " is again in vogue. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 That will be better. 
 
 (Ethel crosses and exits center with her father.) 
 (Crosses to his mother.) 
 It was a fine little party, mother. 
 MRS. MARLOWE. 
 I'm glad you enjoyed it, Daniel. 
 
48 SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 Oh, I did! But the best part of it is a secret. 
 
 MRS. MARLOWE. 
 
 A secret? 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 I have some wonderfid news. 
 
 MRS. MARLOWE. 
 Tell me, Daniel. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 How do you like Ethel? 
 
 MRS. MARLOWE. 
 She seems a fine girl. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 (To his father.) 
 How do you like her, dad? 
 
 MARLOWE. 
 
 (Suspiciously.) 
 
 What's on j^our mind, Dan? 
 
ACT I 49 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 I suppose you've guessed it. Ethel and I are to 
 be married. 
 
 MRS. MARLOWE. 
 
 (Excitedly.) 
 
 No, no! You mustn't! 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 Wh)^ mother! 
 
 MARLOWE. 
 
 You startled her, Dan. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (Crosses to his jiinther.) 
 I'm sorry, mother. 
 (Regards her.) 
 Surely you don't object? 
 
 MARLOWE. 
 
 You're just beginning in life, Dan, 
 
50 SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 Father, I want the girl I marry to strive with me, 
 so that when I attain big things, as I hope to do 
 some day, she and I can look back and proudly say 
 we had an equal share in the success that came. 
 
 MRS. MARLOWE. 
 
 (Has recovered her composure somewhat.) 
 
 That's all very well, Daniel, but Ethel is ac- 
 customed to all the good things of life. Sentiment 
 will not buy them. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 Mother, to hear you talk, one would think I was 
 a ten dollar a week clerk. I'll admit I started in a 
 much smaller way, and I'm proud I did, but I'm 
 making two hundred a month now and have a 
 couple thousand dollars in the bank. 
 
 MRS. MARLOWE. 
 
 That won't go very far, Daniel, when you're buy- 
 ing tango gowns and imported hats and paying liv- 
 ing expenses. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 If I thought Ethel, even for a single moment, was 
 in doubt as to whether we could get along on my 
 finances, I wouldn't give her a second thought. 
 
ACT I 51 
 
 She loves me, mother, I love her, and two hundred 
 a month with love as the banker, means a savings 
 account that puts a thousand a month without love 
 to shame. — Why, I'll wager you and father started 
 on a two figure a month income. Now didn't you? 
 
 MARLOWE. 
 
 Times were different then, Dan. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 Perhaps, but love is the same little busy body, 
 and finds the way as easily now as in your courtship 
 days. '■ 
 
 MARLOWE. 
 
 Romance w^ithout the practical side doesn't work 
 out, Dan. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 What in the world is the matter with you and 
 mother, anyway? How much of an income do you 
 think a fellow needs to be married nowadays? 
 
 MARLOWE. 
 
 We will not discuss the matter further, Dan. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 That isn't fair, father. 
 
52 SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 (Thoughtful a moment.) 
 
 I see. You object to the girl. 
 
 (To his mother.) 
 
 Is that ft, mother? 
 
 MRS. MARLOWE. 
 
 I don't know Ethel very well, but she seems very 
 nice. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 And wouldn't you like to see me marry her? 
 
 (Crosses close to his .mother.) 
 
 Wouldn't you, mother? 
 
 MRS. MARLOWE. 
 
 If you loved her, Daniel. You may now but at 
 your age a young man's ideas sometimes change 
 rather suddenly. 
 
 MARLOWE. 
 
 Better wait a while, Dan. Wait at least a year 
 to think it over. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (Impulsively.) 
 
 A year! Why this is a serious business wath me. 
 
ACT I 53 
 
 I might swear off smoking or drinking but wait a 
 whole year, twelve months for Ethel and only be- 
 cause I don't happen to be a bank president or a 
 street car magnate or the owner of a brewery! It's 
 absolutely ridiculous and what's more, I don't be- 
 lieve either one of you is at all serious about your 
 objections. 
 
 MARLOWE. 
 
 We are, Dan. Quite serious. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 I believe you framed this all up just to find out 
 how I stand. Why, you haven't advanced one real, 
 plausible objection in all you've said. 
 
 MRS. MARLOWE. 
 
 (Crosses close to Daniel.) 
 
 Daniel, please do as we ask. Respect our wishes. 
 Stay with us, with your father and me. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (Brightens.) 
 
 Oh, now I understand ! I should have guessed 
 it, after the doctor explained why mothers are 
 usually sad on their children's birthdays. I won't 
 give you a chance to miss me. I'll see you every 
 day. 
 
 (Crosses to center exit.) 
 
 I've got to hurr}^ to see the doctor. 
 
54 SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 MRS. MARLOWE. 
 (Excitedly.) 
 No, no! Please! 
 
 DANIEL. 
 (Stops; turns.) 
 
 We'll live near you, mother. 
 (Moves again toward exit.) 
 
 MARLOWE. 
 (Calls.) 
 Dan! 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (Stops; turns.) 
 
 We'll live next door to you. 
 
 (Crosses to center exit.) 
 
 MRS. MARLOWE. 
 No, no! 
 
 DANIEL. 
 (Stops; turns at exit.) 
 We'll live here, in the same building. 
 
ACT I 55 
 
 (Daniel hurriedly and happily exits center; Mrs. 
 Marlowe crosses excitedly to center exit, calling 
 " Daniel/' and Marlowe stands at the center of the 
 stage regarding his wife.) 
 
 AS 
 
 THE 
 
 CURTAIN 
 
 FALLS. 
 
ACT II. 
 
 Library in the Cornell home. 
 
 SETTING: 
 
 An elaborate library scene tvith the usual acces- 
 sories about the room. Doors center, right and left 
 and window back left. 
 
 (When the curtain rises, a whistle is heard out- 
 side. Ethel Cornell hurriedly enters door right, 
 eagerly crosses to window back left, peers out and 
 waves her hand. She then exits door center and in a 
 moment reenters with Daniel Marlowe. Ethel still 
 wears her gloves.) 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 My, you must have hurried! 
 DANIEL. 
 
 If I kept up this speed for a week, I'd join the 
 angels. 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 I shall always expect you to be as punctual as you 
 are now. 
 
 56 
 
ACT II 57 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (Lightly.) 
 
 A mere husband act like an affinity ? Impossible ! 
 
 (Laughs.) 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 (Smiles.) 
 
 (Lightly pretends she is disappointed.) 
 
 So after we are married, you'll be just like the 
 rest, your real self. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (Lightly.) 
 
 I can't keep up a bluff forever. 
 
 (Smiles.) 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 And you may have a terrible temper, and talk in 
 your sleep, and — . 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (Interrupts.) 
 I don't snore. 
 
58 SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 ETHEL, 
 
 (Teasing.) 
 
 You're touchy on that point, aren't you? 
 
 DANIEL. 
 I'll be frank, but don't tell a soul. Promise? 
 
 ETHEL, 
 
 (Smilingly.) 
 
 Yes. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 Mine is twenty horse and hits on all twos. 
 (They laugh.) 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 Oh ! — And you may have frightfully bad habits. 
 Perhaps I'll have to reform you. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 Don't you mount me on a pedestal, with a halo 
 and the rest of the trimmings, because someone may 
 forget he has also lived in a glass house. 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 So you've been really horrid? 
 
ACT II 59 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 There's one consolation, Ethel. I may have lived 
 one night as though it was the last, but w^hen I 
 awoke the next morning convinced it was the last, 
 I pulled up the emergency brake and reduced my 
 speed. 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 (Smiles.) 
 
 I'm afraid I was altogether too lenient with you, 
 Dan. I should have asked at least a month to 
 consider your proposal. Then when you came and 
 breathlessly awaited my answer, I should have re- 
 fused. You would have pleaded with me, of 
 course. You — . 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (Interrupts.) 
 
 Just a minute. 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 Don't interrupt. — You would have told me 
 what a wonderful success you would be with me 
 to strive for, and how life without me would not be 
 worth the trouble. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (Teasing.) 
 
 You're not on speaking terms with yourself, are 
 you? 
 
6o SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 (Smiles.) 
 
 (Continues.) 
 
 I would mention Tom, Dick and Harry, who 
 proved their love by always insisting on taxis, so 
 I wouldn't experience the discomfitures of stuffy, 
 strap-hanging street cars. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (Interrupts,) 
 
 Oh, come on, Ethel! Make up with yourself. 
 
 ETHEL, 
 
 (Smiles.) 
 
 (Continues.) 
 
 I would mention that these boys send flowers 
 Aveekly. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 Weakly. That's good. 
 (Laughs.) 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 (Continues.) 
 
 I'd tell you how they always opened the program 
 
ACT II 6 1 
 
 for me af the theatre and in a thousand and one 
 ways showed their great love — . 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (Interrupts.) 
 
 Two ways. Flowers and taxis. 
 
 (Laughs.) 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 (Smiles.) 
 
 (Continues.) 
 
 — while you have not yet proven you really and 
 truly care for me. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (Lightly and comically.) 
 
 Isn't that too bad ! Poor little girl ! 
 
 (Laughs.) 
 
 Naturally, I'd plead for a chance to spend my 
 money. 
 
 (Smiles.) 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 (Laughs.) 
 
 Reluctantly I would grant it, and alas, innocent, 
 unsophisticated Daniel would shower me with flow- 
 
62 SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 ers, and the poor taxi drivers would strike for 
 shorter hours. 
 
 (Laughs.) 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 After a year or so of frenzied finance to prove 
 my love, I suppose I'd finally win you? 
 
 (Ethel laughingly shakes her head to indicate 
 yes. ) 
 
 tf jf 
 
 And we'd live on love for a long, long time, so's 
 I could pay my courtship expenses. 
 
 ETHEL. 
 It's being done by the best families. 
 (Both smile.) 
 
 DANIEL. 
 You're some girl. 
 (Regards her affectionately.) 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 (Contentedly.) 
 
 I'm glad you think so. 
 
ACT II 63 
 
 (They regard each other smilingly and happily 
 and Daniel kisses Ethel.) 
 
 (Pause.) 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 Do you honestly believe any fellows still fall 
 for the affection system you mention? 
 
 ETHEL. 
 (Lightly.) 
 Thousands ! 
 
 DANIEL. 
 I thought they were all dead. 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 They are, In a way. Why, If one of them was 
 with his Miss System and heard us talking, he'd 
 giggle " booblshly " and turn to her and say : 
 '* Gee, I'm glad you're a regular girl." 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (Laughs.) 
 
 It's a wonderful system. 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 With one serious drawback. 
 
64 SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 DANIEL, 
 What's that? 
 
 ETHEL. 
 The girls whose work isn't clever, die old maids. 
 
 DANIEL, 
 (S?nilingly.) 
 
 You almost have me believing 5^ou're a past mas- 
 ter. 
 
 ETHEL, 
 
 (Lightly,) 
 
 Perhaps I realized my shortcomings and reformed. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 (Smiles and crosses close to her.) 
 (JVith feeling.) 
 You're the dearest girl in — in Chicago. 
 
 ETHEL, 
 (Lightly.) 
 You almost said " the whole world." 
 
ACT II 65 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (Lightly.) 
 
 Luckil}' I remembered you know I haven't 
 traveled much. 
 
 (They smile.) 
 
 (Pause during luhich they regard each other,) 
 
 (Affectionately.) 
 
 You're the one girl for m.e. Why, you're dearer 
 to me than tons of radium, 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 (D isapp in tedly . ) 
 That doesn't mean anything. 
 DANIEL. 
 (Jokingly.) 
 I thought it was a hot one. 
 
 ETHEL. 
 (Smiles faintly.) 
 (Somewhat peevishly.) 
 You know very well there aren't tons of radium. 
 
66 SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 I meant if there were. 
 
 ETHEL, 
 (Lightly.) 
 
 Then I fear for 5^our business sense. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 (Smiles.) 
 
 (Affectionately and seriously.) 
 I do love you, Ethel. 
 
 ETHEL. 
 (Regards him with deep feeling.) 
 (Impulsively.) 
 Don't get sentimental. It gives me goose flesh. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (Puts his arms about her.) 
 
 (Lightly.) 
 
 I shall save you, dear. 
 
 (Kisses her.) 
 
ACT II 67 
 
 Transfusion of goose flesh. 
 
 (They laugh.) 
 
 (Daniel releases Ethel and regards her.) 
 
 (Seriously.) 
 
 I've always said the girl I'd marry would love 
 me for myself. You're that girl. Why, you 
 haven't asked me about my income or prospects or 
 anything. 
 
 ETHEL. 
 (Smilingly.) 
 I'm not at all up to date, am I? 
 
 DANIEL. 
 It's quite a relief you're not, in that sense. 
 
 ETHEL. 
 Maybe I've looked you up in Bradstreet. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 Who's he, a politician? 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 On that order. He makes a business of other 
 people's money. 
 
 (They laugh.) 
 
68 SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (Somewhat seriously.) 
 
 But really, Ethel, don't you think you ought to 
 know something about me, financially speaking? 
 
 ETHEL. 
 (Smilingly.) 
 Is it a very long story? 
 
 DANIEL. 
 Not so long now, but™-. 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 (Interrupts.) 
 
 I know. Daniel has been getting along fairly 
 well, but after he has married poor, little me, a 
 series of miracles will happen, one right after the 
 other. 
 
 (Smiles coyly.) 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 It sounds funny the v/ay you put it. 
 
 ETHEL. 
 (Teasing.) 
 
 And of course it isn't a bit funny at all. 
 (Smiles slyly.) 
 
ACT II 69 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (Seriously.) 
 
 Just the same, a fellow is inspired by the girl he 
 loves, 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 I hope you will be, Dan, but I don't want you 
 to make any rash promises because you and I are 
 going to have a wonderful time, watching some of 
 our married friends wait on the miracles they made 
 themselves believe would surely occur after the 
 ceremony. 
 
 (Smiles.) 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 You couldn't be serious if you wanted. 
 ETHEL. 
 
 Oh indeed yes! I'd think of the questions father 
 will ask you when you suggest the '' I will " party. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 Do you think he'll be very inquisitive? 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 He will want to know all about you from the 
 time you were born. 
 
 (Smiles tantalizingly.) 
 
70 SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (Smilingly.) 
 
 Everything is clear to me. 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 (Half seriously.) 
 
 You simply must make it clear to father, because 
 I'd hate to admit his judgment is better than mine. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (Chestily.) 
 
 Impossible! Your judgment has been perfect. 
 
 ETHEL. 
 I'll tell you one question father might ask. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 What's that? 
 
 ETHEL. 
 Have you ever been in love before? 
 
 DANIEL. 
 Shall I tell the truth? 
 
ACT II 71 
 
 ETHEL, 
 
 Of course. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 Thanks for the tip. 
 
 ETHEL. 
 (Regards him quizzically.) 
 Well? 
 
 DANIEL. 
 Well, what? 
 
 ETHEL. 
 Have 5^ou? 
 
 DANIEL. 
 Oh! You want me to tell you? 
 
 ETHEL. 
 Certainly. I intend to rehearse you. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 Why, — I don't think I need any rehearsal. 
 
 ETHEL. 
 I see! She turned you down. 
 
72 SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (Somewhat abashed.) 
 
 No, no. I mean there wasn't any she until — . 
 
 ETHEL. 
 I'm disappointed. 
 (Pretends she is.)- 
 
 DANIEL. 
 You should be pleased. 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 Indeed not! When my married girl friends rave 
 about their wonderful heart-breaking husbands and 
 mention the many girls who were crazy about them, 
 I'll have to be a mere listener, and they'll think I 
 drew a sure-enough lemon, 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 If it's as bad as all that, I'll go through some of 
 my letters and see if I can't stir up a few alibis. 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 It isn't at all necessary to have a lot of mush talk 
 in writing. 
 
ACT II 73 
 
 DANIEL, 
 
 No? 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 Not at all! If any girls called you up or told 
 you they had a pleasant evening or asked you to come 
 soon again, that would pass muster as a love unre- 
 turned in a buzz talk by wives about their husbands. 
 
 DANIEL, 
 
 If that's the case, I'll get a city directory and 
 leave the rest to you. 
 
 ETHEL, 
 (Mimically.) 
 Which means that Daniel was very, very popular. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 No. As long as your imagination will be so fer- 
 tile, I might just as well keep my conscience clear. 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 Very well, then. You shall be and forever^ re- 
 main a real lemon. 
 
 (Looks off stage right.) 
 
 Here comes father. Ethel begs to be excused. 
 
 (Starts to cross to exit left.) 
 
74 SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (Takes hold of her arm.) 
 
 No, you don't. 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 It Isn't at all proper that I remain. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 Exceptions to all nils®. 
 
 (Releases her mrm.) 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 (Enters right.) 
 
 Hello, Daniel. 
 
 (Notices that Ethel is still wearing her gloves.) 
 
 Whatever is your idea in keeping your gloves on, 
 dear ? 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (Teasing.) 
 
 It's a new fad, doctor. 
 
 (Regards Ethel tantalizingly.) 
 
ACT II 75 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 (To her father.) 
 
 Daniel was so very interesting, I forgot all about 
 them. 
 
 (Regards Daniel laughingly and unbuttons left 
 glove.) 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (Quickly and anxiously.) 
 
 Better start on the right one, Ethel. 
 
 ETHEL. 
 (Teasing.) 
 
 I have this one unbuttoned. 
 DANIEL. 
 (Anxiously.) 
 I'll button it for you. 
 (Offers to do so.) 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 What in the world is it all about? 
 
76 SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 (A sly twinkle in her eye.) 
 
 You're acting terribly queer, Dan. 
 
 (Laughs at Daniel while she is busy, slowly re- 
 moving glove.) 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 (To Ethel.) 
 
 Have you some joke on Daniel, dear? 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 (Laughingly.) 
 
 Oh, no, father! 
 
 (Smiles at Daniel as she takes off glove.) 
 
 (Dariiel hurriedly and corjiically crosses between 
 Ethel and her father so the doctor cannot see the 
 ring on Ethel's finger.) 
 
 (Ethel unbuttons and starts to remove the other 
 glove.) 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 (To both.) 
 
 Now tell me what it's all about. 
 
 (Ethel removes right glove.) 
 
ACT II 77 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (Faltertngly.) 
 
 Well, you see, doctor, Ethel and I have talked 
 matters over and — . 
 
 (Stops abruptly and steps back so Ethel is in full 
 view of her father.) 
 
 (To Ethel.) 
 
 (Firmly.) 
 
 I dare you! 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 You're so brave, Dan, I really believe the Lions' 
 Den story was named after you. 
 
 (Smiles happily.) 
 
 (Ethel and Daniel regard each other.) 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (Crosses with Ethel before the doctor and pre- 
 sents her hand so the doctor sees the ring.) 
 
 That's the result of our talk. 
 
78 SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 (Seriously.) 
 
 Oh, I see! 
 
 (Regards ring.) 
 
 (Lightly.) 
 
 As usual Ethel got the better of it. 
 
 (Daniel and Ethel smile contentedly.) 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (Brav€ly.) 
 
 The only thing that worries us, doctor, is, arc you 
 going to turn Bull Moose and spoil the party? 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 (Smiles.) 
 
 (Lightly.) 
 
 It would be cruel to deprive Ethel of such a beau- 
 tiful ring. 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 (Lightly.) 
 
 Engagement rings are never returned, father. 
 
 (Smiles slyly upon Daniel.) 
 
ACT II 79 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (Regards Ethel.) 
 
 (To the doctor.) 
 
 Is it all right, doctor? 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 (To Daniel.) 
 
 (Seriously.) 
 
 Do you think you will make her happy? 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 (Crosses close to her father.) 
 
 (With feeling.) 
 
 Of course we'll be happy, father. 
 
 (Puts her arms about her father. He embraces 
 and kisses her.) 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 (Has his arm about his daughter as he turns and 
 speaks to Daniel.) 
 
 You must take good care of her, Daniel. She's 
 all I have. 
 
 (Shows emotion.) 
 
8o SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 (JVith deep feeling.) 
 
 Father ! 
 
 (Regards her father and places her head upon 
 his shoulder. She looks up, regards him again and 
 kisses him. The doctor releases his daughter and 
 gently passes her to Daniel.) 
 
 (Ethel and Daniel embrace.) 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (His arm about Ethel.) 
 
 (To the doctor.) 
 
 I'll watch over her and love her always. 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 God bless you both ! 
 
 (A pause during which Ethel shows an effort to 
 keep the tears back.) 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 (With a sigh; to Daniel.) 
 
 Dan, say something funny, so I'll laugh before 
 I cry. 
 
ACT II 8 1 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (Lightly and comically.) 
 
 Don't cry, dear. Please don't cry. 
 
 ETHEL. 
 That's silly. 
 
 (S7niles.) 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 (To Daniel.) 
 
 Now I understand why you planned the birth- 
 day dinner, and insisted upon my being there. That 
 was cleverly arranged, Daniel. Did your father 
 and mother suspect? Were they surprised at your 
 engagement? 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 Surprised? They were completely dumbfounded. 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 You don't tell me! You'd think they'd be pre- 
 pared for something of the sort in view of your 
 attentions to Ethel. Were they pleased ? 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 Well, you kind of upset mother with your re- 
 mark about mothers missing their children when 
 
82 SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 they're married. Of course I don't blaine you. 
 You know how mothers are. 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 (Seriously.) 
 
 Dan, I don't understand. 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 Surely your mother didn't object. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 In a way, yes. But it was all pretense to keep 
 me with her. 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 What did she say? 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (Lightly.) 
 
 She didn't think my income sufficient to buy 
 tango gowns and imported hats. 
 
 (To Ethel.) 
 
 As though we couldn't get along. 
 
ACT II 83 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 (Relieved.) 
 
 Then your mother doesn't dislike me? 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 Of course not, dear. 
 
 (To the doctor.) 
 
 Please don't tell father and mother I said any- 
 thing about it. Why, their team work was really 
 sad, and yet they expected me to fall in line with 
 their views. It really was funny. 
 
 (Smiles.) 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 (Seriously.) 
 
 So your father also objected? 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 Of course he sided with mother and only further 
 upset her. But I wouldn't exactly say they ob- 
 jected, doctor. They merely talked about nothing 
 and expected me to make something out of it. 
 
 (Notes the doctor s serious and thoughtful expres- 
 sion.) 
 
 Cheer up, doctor. You'd think we were planning 
 a funeral, instead of a wedding. 
 
84 SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 (Regards Ethel and notes she is also serious.) 
 
 For goodness' sakes, Ethel, don't you get to mop- 
 ing. It doesn't become you at all. 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 I'm so unhappy, Dan. 
 
 (Regards her father and hurriedly crosses to him 
 and puts her head on his shoulder.) 
 
 Father! 
 
 (Looks up at him.) 
 
 I just feel there's something wrong. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (To Ethel) 
 
 There you go with that woman instinct theory. 
 I knew a girl who thought she could feel when her 
 husband was untrue to her. She felt it and accused 
 him so often he finally decided to try her out, just 
 to see if there was anything in it, and she didn't get 
 him at all. I tell j^ou this instinct business is no 
 good. 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 (Smiles, then regards Daniel half smilingly.) 
 
 (To Daniel.) 
 
 You're just making that up. 
 
ACT II 85 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 It's the gospel truth. 
 
 (Smiles.) 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 (Is thoughtful a ?no??ient, then speaks to Ethel.) 
 
 Now you run along, dear. I want to have a talk 
 with Daniel. 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 (Worried.) 
 
 (Crosses to her father.) 
 
 Father ! 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 It's all right, Ethel. After your short rehearsal, 
 I feel perfectly fit. 
 
 (Daniel smiles, and Ethel regards him rather se- 
 riously.) 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 (Regards his daughter as he pats her cheek.) 
 We won't be long, dear. 
 
86 SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 (Ethel regards her father, then Daniel and exits 
 rightj a serious expression upon her countenance.) 
 
 (Daniel regards the doctor quizzically.) 
 
 Tell me all about it, Daniel. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 About what? 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 Your talk with your parents. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 I don't believe I can add anything to what I have 
 already told you and Ethel. 
 
 (Notes the doctor s serious and thoughtful expres- 
 sion.) 
 
 You're taking the entire matter as seriously as 
 though you were deliberating about an operation 
 which meant life or death. 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 Your parents, I believe, questioned your ability 
 to support Ethel. Isn't that right? 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 Well, yes ; but — . 
 
ACT II 87 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 (Interrupts.) 
 
 What Is your income? 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 Two hundred a month. — That's plenty to start 
 
 on, don't you think? 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 Mrs. Cornell and I started on one quarter of that, 
 and saved a little besides. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 And I'll wager father and mother started In about 
 the same way. That's what I told them but they 
 said tim.es had changed. That's really funny as an 
 argument against m.arriage, don't you think? 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 Hearts beat just as true, and gladly and willingly 
 make as many sacrifices today as ever before. I 
 shall be charitable and say that anyone who does 
 not believe that, is either a confirmed bachelor or a 
 jilted lover. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 That's a good one on father. 
 (Laughs.) 
 
88 SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 (Seriously.) 
 
 What else was said, Daniel? 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 That's all I remember. So you see what a fine 
 chance they had convincing me they were really in 
 earnest. 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 If Ethel loves you as I am sure she does, half 
 your income is more than sufficient. So you see, 
 Daniel, your parents have really cast a reflection 
 upon the nobler sentiments and finer instincts of 
 my daughter. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 I am sure they had no such intention, doctor. 
 They were merely upset, that's all. I'm really to 
 blame for not preparing them for the news. But 
 everything will be all right. I told them before I 
 left we'd live near them, in the same building if 
 necessary. 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 "\^niat did they say to that? 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 Well, they didn't have much of a chance to say 
 anything. 
 
ACT II 89 
 
 DR, CORNELL. 
 
 What do you mean? 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 I didn't want to be late in coming to talk to you. 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 You came here while your parents were still 
 protesting ? 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 Yes. But suppose they do think I need a larger 
 income. That shouldn't matter as long as Ethel and 
 you are satisfied. Now should it? 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 I wouldn't want you to displease your parents. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 But I won't. The only thing that really seems to 
 bother them is my ability to make both ends meet, and 
 it's a simple matter to convince them I can do that. 
 So what's the use of worrying and fretting over 
 an imaginary obstacle. Besides, I'm of age and a 
 young man ought to decide some things for himself, 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 How old are you, Daniel ? 
 
90 SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 DANIEL. 
 Twenty-eight last March. 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 (Reflectively.) 
 Last March? 
 (To Daniel.) 
 How long have you lived in Chicago? 
 
 DANIEL. 
 Twenty-seven years. 
 (Lightly.) 
 
 Naturally I don't remember back that far myself. 
 (Smiles,) 
 
 DR. CORNELL. . 
 
 Where were you born? 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 I really can't tell you. Father and mother are 
 not much on this family Bible idea. 
 
ACT II 91 
 
 DR, CORNELL. 
 
 Since you are the only child, I should think they 
 could easily remember the place of your birth. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 I've told them that myself, but somehow they al- 
 ways evaded a direct answer. As a matter of fact 
 I thought I was born in Chicago until an old aunt of 
 mine told me otherwise, and father never forgave 
 her. Guess he wanted to boast of me as a Chicago 
 product. But what difference does that make? 
 Why do you ask? 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 (Has become very thoughtful since DanieVs last 
 answer.) 
 
 (Very thoughtfully.) 
 
 A great deal of criticism is being launched against 
 parents in these hygienic days for allowing their 
 daughters to wed w^ithout first looking up the health 
 of the prospective bridegroom. Some states have 
 even gone so far as to require a doctor's certificate. 
 As a member of the medical profession, I would in- 
 deed be very lax if I did not make some inquiry. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 I can't see that age and place of birth bear on that 
 point at all. 
 
92 SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 There is such a possibility. For instance, if you 
 were born and lived for a time in a very high alti- 
 tude, and then removed to a low altitude, a distress- 
 ing effect upon your heart action might result. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (Laughs.) 
 
 That's funny. I don't look unhealthy, do I, doc- 
 tor? 
 
 (SmilesJ 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 (Seriously and thoughtfully.) 
 
 The outward appearance of a person is not always 
 a criterion of the condition of the machinery, so to 
 speak. In my practice I have known a great many 
 young men who appeared rugged and wiry, and yet 
 were afflicted with severe cases of heart trouble. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (Lightly.) 
 
 You're joking. 
 
 (Smilingly regards the doctor and notes his seri- 
 ous and anxious expression and becomes somewhat 
 sober himself.) 
 
ACT II 93 
 
 Weil, if you think there's any heart disease in my 
 system, I want you to satisfy yourself this very min- 
 ute. 
 
 (Starts to roll up right sleeve,) 
 
 DR. CORl^ELL. 
 (Anxiously and eagerly,) 
 The left one, the left one! 
 
 DANIEL. 
 Just as you say. 
 (Rolls up left sleeve.) 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 (Excitedly and anxiously regards DanieVs left 
 forearm and discovers a V-shaped birthmark above 
 the elbow.) 
 
 (Very excitedly and in a whisper.) 
 
 My God! 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 What's the matter? 
 
 (Regards the doctor who is very agitated and re- 
 ceiving no answer regards his arm,) 
 
94 SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 That's a birthmark. You're a doctor. You 
 know that. 
 
 (Regards Doctor Cornell, who stands with head 
 lowered and an expression of extreme pain upon his 
 countenance.) 
 
 (Excitedly.) 
 
 You don't mean there's something wrong with 
 me, that I've some serious disease? 
 
 (Again regards the doctor who still stands zuith 
 head lowered.) 
 
 Don't stand there like that! Speak to me, say 
 something! Anything! 
 
 (Crosses close to the doctor.) 
 
 I can't bear this suspense, the look upon your face ! 
 Tell me the truth! 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 (Umuillingly looks up at Daniel and regards him 
 sadly.) 
 
 You must be a brave lad, Daniel. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 Yes, yes! Only tell me! 
 
ACT II 95 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 You will have to forget about Ethel and she like- 
 wise must forget about you. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (Impulsively.) 
 
 You don't mean that ! You can't ! I must know 
 
 why! 
 
 DR. CORNELL. 
 
 (Appealingly.) 
 
 Please, please, don't ask me anything further. 
 
 (Crosses close to Daniel.) 
 
 I'm sorry, Daniel. You and I shall always be 
 good friends. 
 
 (Regards Daniel a moment and speaks with an 
 effort.) 
 
 Good night, Daniel. Good night. 
 
 (Puts his hand upon Daniel's shoulder, holds it 
 there a moment and tears fill his eyes as he re- 
 moves his hand and turns azvay. The doctor then 
 slowly crosses to door right, head lowered.) 
 
 (Daniel crosses a step or two after the doctor 
 and is about to speak, when suddenly he stops ab- 
 ruptly, realizing argument is of no avail. He re- 
 
96 SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 gards the doctor a moment and then slowly and 
 sadly crosses to center exit.) 
 
 (Doctor Cornell who has reached door right, turns 
 and looks sadly after Daniel and Daniel exits cen- 
 ter.) 
 
 AS 
 
 THE 
 
 CURTAIN 
 
 FALLS. 
 
ACT III. 
 
 Parlo?' in the Marlowe home. 
 
 (The curtain rises upon an empty, darkened stage. 
 Soon a light in seen in the hall, back center. 
 Several times it disappears and flashes again. Fi- 
 nally '' Bud " Mears, a man of about thirty-five years 
 of age, enters door center. He holds a flashlight in 
 one hand, a revolver in the other and for a brief pe- 
 riod inspects the room. Suddenly and noiselessly, 
 Daniel Marlowe enters door center. He has noticed 
 the strange light from the outside and expects to find 
 an intruder. Daniel, slowly and without sound 
 creeps behind Mears. They grapple a moment and 
 finally Daniel overcomes his opponent and gains pos- 
 session of the revolver. He crosses back stage, left, 
 and turns on the lights.) 
 
 (Daniel and Mears regard each other.) 
 
 MEARS. 
 (Sullenly.) 
 Well? 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 I'll make short work of you. 
 
 (Crosses to telephone on table center.) 
 97 
 
98 SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 HEARS. 
 Main 13. That's the number. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 (Regards Mears.) 
 You're quite a philosopher. 
 
 MEARS. 
 (Sullenly.) 
 Go ahead. Call the bull, don't talk it. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (Smiles in spite of himself.) 
 
 (Seriously as he takes up 'phone.) 
 
 A good stiff sentence may take some of the spunk 
 out of you. 
 
 (Takes receiver off hook.) 
 
 (At 'phone.) 
 
 Hello.— Main 13.— Yes. 
 
 MEARS. 
 
 You're tying up the traffic with that sentence talk, 
 pal. Before these here jail reformers got busy, it 
 was tough on a guy to be sent over, but now, say, 
 
ACT III 99 
 
 it's as soft as puttin' the Democrats over with the 
 Republicans and the Feds in the field. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (At 'phone.) 
 
 Police headquarters? — The Morgue? 
 
 (Puts up receiver but still holds 'phone.) 
 
 HEARS. 
 Bet a skirt answered. 
 (Laughs.) 
 
 They can't keep a secret. 
 (Laughs.) 
 
 DANIEL. 
 (Smiles.) 
 
 (Takes up receiver.) 
 (At 'phone.) 
 Main 13, please.--- Yes. 
 
 MEARS. 
 Got to prove it to you, eh, pal? 
 (Smiles cynically.) 
 
loo SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (At 'phone.) 
 
 (Angrily.) 
 
 Hello, hello, Central. — First you gave me the 
 wrong number and now I get the busy signal. 
 — Well, maybe it's busy and maybe it's more " rot- 
 ten " service. — I don't want to talk to the manager. 
 I've reported disconnections and wrong numbers and 
 busy signals, until I'm ready to believe the whole 
 darn company is deaf, dumb and blind. 
 
 (Bangs up receiver angrily.) 
 
 (A slight pause during which Mears regards Dan- 
 iel in a cynical manner.) 
 
 MEARS. 
 
 You're puttin' on the wrong sketch, pal, just like 
 a lot of guys do every day. 'Cause these gals are 
 hello gals, don't give you no season pass to make it 
 hot for 'em. It ain't human. They lose their 
 mothers and old men and others they're dips about, 
 just like the guys that bark at 'em, Ma5^be the gal 
 you just chinned with, has used up all the embroidery 
 at the office to-day, 'cause some one died or is sick, 
 or 'cause some rich guy, with innocent lookin' calf's 
 eyes, has been handin' her a post grad course in mush 
 talk until she could smell the flowers at their sum- 
 mer home at Palm Beach, and just tipped it off he 
 wouldn't come across with the diploma. I ain't 
 
ACT III loi 
 
 blamin' the men any more than the women when it 
 comes to handin' out this Central Station stuff, pal. 
 On my rounds of the shops, lookin' over the stock, 
 I've seen many a swell dame read the general alarm 
 to some overworked, half-starved, eight-dollar-a- 
 week clerk, 'cause she didn't happen to have as much 
 in her nut as the President of the home of the free 
 and the land of the trusts. Then w^hile the poor 
 clerk was wishin' her old man hadn't died or her 
 husband hadn't ditched her, or her mother hadn't 
 lost her dough in one of them private banks, the 
 swell dame would be feelin' so chesty over her line 
 of suffrage gab, she'd go hom.e and write a paper 
 against cruelty to animals. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (Crosses to Mears.) 
 
 I want to shake your hand, old fellow. 
 
 (Extends hand.) 
 
 You've taught me a lesson in humanity I shall 
 never forget. 
 
 (They regard each other.) 
 
 MEARS. 
 
 That's all right. I ain't chargin' nothin'. 
 
 (Regards Daniel's extended hand, takes it and 
 they shake hands.) 
 
I02 SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 Guess the way I'm shootin' oil, you'd think I was 
 runnin' for office, 
 
 (Laughs.) 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (Moves a step hack and regards Mears.) 
 
 You a burglar! 
 
 (Places Mears' revolver on table back left.) 
 
 MEARS. 
 
 'Tain't no miracle, pal, no more than I could say 
 to some guys, you a preacher or you a temperance 
 crank or you a husband or wife. I'll never forget 
 the last time I went to church. 
 
 (Laughs cynically.) 
 
 Sounds funny, eh ? Well, it's the goods. Felt so 
 'shamed of my success at my trade, I kind of sneaked 
 in and flopped in a back seat where it was dark and 
 no one could look me over. Knelt for some time, 
 my hands over my face. Got a little nerve after a 
 bit and looked up, and say, I wouldn't have missed 
 what I saw for the combination of the biggest safe in 
 town. In walks a guy with his head set back so 
 far you'd think his Adam's apple would bust through 
 the skin. They made some fuss over him, marched 
 him up the center isle to the first row, with everyone 
 lookin' at him like he was a regular matinee idol. 
 
ACT III 103 
 
 He sat there proud as hell durin' the service, and 
 when the preacher tipped it off to the fans, he'd 
 given five thousand bucks to the church, Mr. Ready 
 Money sv^elled up till you'd think he v^as one of 
 them German airboats. 
 
 (Laughs cynically.) 
 
 You can't guess where he got his roll. 
 
 (Daniel shakes his head to indicate " No/') 
 
 You'll laugh when I tell you. 
 
 (Laughs.) 
 
 Trafnc in women. 
 
 (Laughs cynically.) 
 
 Imagine me a hard workin' burglar, takin' to a 
 back seat, with that guy up in front, biddin' for a 
 pass to heaven with the roll that sent thousands to 
 hell! 
 
 (Laughs cynically.) 
 
 Think that gave me religion, pal? 
 
 (Laughs cynically.) 
 
 Think it gives crooks like me religion when we see 
 guys that's been brought up in fine homes, and edu- 
 cated and everythin', forgettin' all about the reserve 
 
I04 SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 clauses on right and wrong that's been slipped in 
 their contracts ? — Believe me there's loads of 'em 
 runnin' loose with the wrong sign hangin' over their 
 door. You know why, pal? It takes a good sized 
 roll to keep up with the procession nowdays, and 
 havin' the roll is the star little perMrmer that gets 
 all the applause. "Why, I remember when a decent 
 gal wouldn't go out with a gink old enough to be 
 her dad. But they're marryin' 'em today, pal, 
 'cause a young guy that wants to be straight can't 
 stand the pace. I'm not sayin' the whole world's 
 bad. There's gals that's turnin' down glad rags 
 and bank accounts for love, and there's guys passin' 
 up a roll or fightin' off affinities every day. There's 
 lots of good guys, pal. Why I know lawyers I 
 wouldn't ask their fee in advance, I know booze 
 spielers I'd trust in a distillery, and I know women 
 I'd believe, even if I was married to 'em and sus- 
 pected they was lyin'. But take it from me, pal, 
 there's husbands I wouldn't trust in the Sahara 
 Desert, and if I was married to some of the skirts 
 I've seen floatin' around, I'd want 'em handcuffed, 
 blindfolded and locked in a room without transoms 
 and windows durin' my office hours. — And I'd want 
 the one and only key to that room in my pocket. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 You're an odd character. 
 
 HEARS. 
 Character, hell! I'm a crook, that's what I am. 
 
ACT III 105 
 
 DANIEL, 
 
 I hope you're not proud of the fact. 
 MEARS. 
 
 Pride and me had a row before I was born. 
 Bom! That's the woman in the case. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 What a funny name! 
 
 MEARS, 
 
 Funny, hell! 
 
 (Regards Daniel quizzically,) 
 
 Guess you didn't get me. Birth is what I mean. 
 Understand ? 
 
 DANIEL, 
 
 No, I don't. 
 
 MEARS. 
 
 (Looks about the room,) 
 
 I'll tell you in parlor talk. 
 
 (Regards Daniel,) 
 
 They call me " Bud " Mears, but I ain't got a 
 name. See ? 
 
io6 SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 (Daniel nods " Yes " seriously.) 
 
 That's why I ain't puttin' on airs or pallin' with 
 pride. I tried hard enough to be right, but the law 
 gives such as me a knockout belov/ the belt, and 
 there ain't no one yellin' " foul," neither. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 You mean the law made you what you are? 
 
 HEARS. 
 
 When I came into the world I was labeled, wasn't 
 I, labeled with a name that ain't spoken in polite 
 society? Who in hell did it but the law? 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 Your pseudo-parents were to blame. 
 
 HEARS. 
 
 You'll have to cut your speed on them forty- 
 bucks-a-plate words, pal. — Guess you mean the guy 
 that started me on my way, and the gal that ditched 
 me at the end of the line. All right. Let's blame 
 'em. That ain't lettin' the law out, 'cause the law 
 could make it right. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 And legalize free love. 
 
ACT III 107 
 
 HEARS. 
 
 A prize fight didn't put Reno on the map. 
 
 (Laughs cynically.) 
 
 And say. Free love and law have had such a fast 
 little party the last forty years, the woods is full of 
 dames that's been married and divorced so often, 
 they can almost figure out they're their own mother. 
 — And you're afraid to give guys like me a name so's 
 we can be right? 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 The law prevents no one, even you, from being an 
 honest, upright citizen. 
 
 HEARS. 
 
 I thought you was due for some of that reform 
 stuff, pal, but you're missin' the mark, tellin' me I 
 should be a good guy, when I'm not. And what 
 do you know about me, pal? You got to look into 
 a guy's or a gal's heart to find out why they're bad, 
 but you got to get there first and you can't get there 
 by ridin' through the slums in a closed bus at a 
 twenty-mile gait, or by actin' a nut, sittin' way off 
 in a corner in a sporty cafe, drinkin' lemonade. 
 You're talkin' about law, pal. Ever notice the first 
 thing a guy or a gal let loose on a murder charge 
 says : '' The law's all right, the jury's all right, the 
 whole world's all right." And if it goes against 'em, 
 what then? 
 
io8 SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 (Regards Daniel quizzically a moment.) 
 
 If you was a gardener, and the law made you dig 
 your garden with a pitchfork, you'd holler like hell, 
 wouldn't you ? My case don't affect you, so it's easy 
 for you to talk. I'm not hollerin', and I'm not 
 blamin' the gal for ditchin' me when the law makes 
 it a disgrace for her to come out in the open and 
 tell the truth. If she'd got married the hour or 
 second before I arrived on the landscape, you'd say 
 it was all right, 'cause the law says so, eh, pal? 
 That's funny. 
 
 (Laughs cynically.) 
 
 Oh, 'tain't goin' to do me no good if I could 
 change the whole thing. I've had my hell, 'cause 
 I learned to know what this no mother to guide her 
 stuff means. You've been brought up with everyone 
 lovin' you and tellin' you you're good. Maybe 
 that's why you are. But me ? I ain't had no mother 
 to love me and teach me my prayers. If the law 
 was different, maybe she'd stuck by me and loved 
 me like your mother did. But she didn't. That's 
 why I'm bad. I've missed the best there is, and ain't 
 as good as a tree or a horse when it comes to figur- 
 in' me out. Why, when I was a kid goin' to school, 
 I was marked from the start. You know how kids 
 are. They get mad and fight and call each other 
 bad names. Then they cool off and apologize and 
 are good friends. But me? They wouldn't apol- 
 ogize to me 'cause they knew what I was, and I 
 had to knock hell out of 'em to keep 'em quiet. But 
 that didn't do me no good, pal, 'cause I was kicked 
 
ACT III 109 
 
 out of school. Got a job after that and worked 
 hard 'cause I wanted to get on and it helped me 
 forget. And I did kind of forget until at night 
 when the closin' whistle blew, I saw how happy the 
 other guys was to go to a regular home where there 
 was love. And then on my way to my own two 
 by four, I'd see happy kids in the cars in their moth- 
 er's arms or walkin' by their mother's side in the 
 street, and gee I felt bad! So I tried to make up 
 for what I was missin' by readin' in books what 
 mothers is like. When I was kind of workin' my 
 mind into the idea, I tried to feel her kisses and 
 love, but 'tain't real, that way, pal, 'tain't real. 
 
 (Shows emotion. After a moment Mears rubs 
 his fists into his eyes and pulls himself together.) 
 
 Maybe you think I'm pullin' the soft stuff, so's 
 you'll let me off. I'm ready, and I don't care if 
 they send me up for life. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 Cheer up, old fellow. 
 
 (Takes card from pocket.) 
 
 I'll get you a position if 5^ou'll permit me. 
 
 (Offers card.) 
 
 Here's my card. 
 
no SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 HEARS. 
 
 (Regards Daniel.) 
 
 I ain't dreamin'? 
 
 (Rubs hand over eyes.) 
 
 (Regards Dajiiel and takes card.) 
 
 DANIEL. 
 I mean it with all my heart. 
 
 MEARS. 
 
 Gee! You're goin' to get me a regular job? 
 
 (Daniel nods his head to indicate yes.) 
 
 (Mears regards Daniel and extends his hand.) 
 
 Shake. 
 
 (Daniel and Mears shake hands.) 
 
 (Mr. and Mrs. Marlowe enter right.) 
 
 (Daniel and Mears regard each other and Mears 
 turns to cross to center exit, when he sees Mr. and 
 Mrs. Marlowe.) 
 
 (Mears regards Mr. and Mrs. Marlowe and 
 crosses down stage.) 
 
 Hell! 
 
ACT III III 
 
 MARLOWE. 
 
 Who is this man, Dan? 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (Regards his father, then Mears.) 
 
 A poor fellow, who hasn't had a chance. 
 
 MEARS. 
 
 You can't get away with that poor fellow stul^, 
 pal, with me payin' my income tax. 
 
 MRS. MARLOWE. 
 
 (To Mears.) 
 
 Who are you? 
 
 MEARS. 
 
 I'm one of them guys that gives swell dames free 
 advertisin' of phony jewelry as the real thing. 
 
 MRS. MARLOWE. 
 
 What is this ruffian doing here, Daniel ? 
 
 MEARS. 
 Wastin' my time, mam. I'm a burglar. 
 
112 SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 MRS. MARLOPVE. 
 A burglar! 
 (Shrinks back.) 
 
 HEARS. 
 (To Mrs. Marlowe.) 
 You got some white hope. 
 (Indicates Daniel.) 
 
 MARLOM^E. 
 (To Daniel.) 
 Did you call the police? 
 
 HEARS. 
 
 They was busy. 
 (Laughs.) 
 
 MARLOWE. 
 (To Hears.) 
 
 I'll tend to your case myself. 
 (Crosses to telephone.) 
 
ACT III 113 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (Crosses and stands before his father.) 
 
 Please, father. You don't understand. 
 
 MARLOWE. 
 
 Understand? This man came to steal, didn't he? 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 Yes. But he isn't a bad sort at heart and I've 
 promised to secure him an honorable position. 
 
 MRS. MARLOWE. 
 
 Of all things! 
 
 MEARS. 
 
 (To Daniel.) 
 
 Don't boost me too much, pal. I might get to 
 blushin'. 
 
 MARLOWE. 
 
 You intend to recommend a burglar? You must 
 have lost your senses! 
 
 MRS. MARLOWE. 
 (To Daniel.) 
 I quite agree with your father. 
 
114 SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 MEARS. 
 
 (To Daniel) 
 
 You're up against it, pal. The alienists agree. 
 
 MRS. MARLOWE. 
 
 (To Mears.) 
 
 You're perfectly insulting. 
 
 MEARS. 
 
 Thanks, mam. When a guy gets perfect at any- 
 thin', you got to hand it to him. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 He means no harm, mother. 
 
 MARLOWE. 
 
 We'll have no further argument about the matter. 
 
 (Takes up 'phone and is about to take the re- 
 ceiver off the hook when Daniel intercepts him.) 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 Father. Just a minute. 
 
 MARLOWE. 
 I want to hear no more. 
 
ACT III 115 
 
 (Tri^s to take the receiver off hook, but Daniel 
 prevents him from doing so.) 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 This man hasn't had the same chance as you or I. 
 He came into the world without . 
 
 (Regards his mother.) 
 
 — -without a name. 
 
 MRS. MARLOWE. 
 Oh! 
 
 (Shows anguish and seats herself.) 
 (Marlowe is also affected and lowers his head.) 
 DANIEL. 
 
 He drifted about, like a ship upon the rocks, sub- 
 ject to the tide, and naturally it was mostly bad. 
 
 (Marlowe puts doivn 'phone.) 
 
 MRS. MARLOWE. 
 
 Please don't say anything further. 
 
 MARLOWE. 
 (To Mears.) 
 You may go. 
 
ii6 SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 HEARS. 
 
 (Brightens.) 
 
 Thanks. 
 
 (Looks puzzled and regards Marlowe^ then 
 Daniel.) 
 
 (To Daniel.) 
 
 Say, pal, you're the goods with that talk stuff. 
 
 (Crosses to center exit. When he nears the exit, 
 he notices his revolver on table back left. He stops, 
 and takes revolver up. Mrs. Marlowe screams 
 and Marlotue shows fear but Daniel stands unaf- 
 fected. Now that the excitement is almost over, he 
 becomes very sorrowful, his thoughts being occupied 
 with the purpose of his homecoming.) 
 
 (Mears holds gun in a tantalizing manner and 
 laughs at Mr. and Mrs. Marlowe.) 
 
 (To Daniel.) 
 
 Guess I'll leave this as a souvenir, pal. Me for 
 the straight and narrov/, and starvation? 
 
 (Laughs cynically.) 
 
 Nothin' doin'. 
 
 (Places gun back on table and exits laughing 
 cynically.) 
 
ACT III 117 
 
 DANIEL, 
 
 Poor devil ! And yet he seems to be happy ! 
 
 (Looks down sorrowfully.) 
 
 (Marlowe indicates to his wife she should go to 
 Daniel.) 
 
 MRS. MARLOWE. 
 
 (Crosses to Daniel and puts her arms about him.) 
 
 My Daniel ! 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (To his mother.) 
 
 When I left here tonight, I was so happy. But 
 
 now. 
 
 (Mrs. Marlowe buries her head on DanieVs shoul- 
 der.) 
 
 (Daniel raises his ?nothers head gently and holds 
 it erect, his hands pressed against her cheeks so that 
 she looks into his eyes.) 
 
 Mother. Tell me. 
 
 (Mrs. Marlowe remains silent.) 
 
 MARLOWE. 
 What do you want to know, Dan ? 
 
ii8 SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (Releases his mother and she crosses down stage 
 and seats herself.) 
 
 (To his father.) 
 
 When I told you and mother I intended to marry 
 Ethel, you raised a lot of silly objections. I went 
 away, light hearted and gay, thinking you were 
 merely trying to keep me at home. I spoke to the 
 doctor, and he gave his consent to our marriage, un- 
 til . 
 
 (The thought of the burglar comes over him and 
 he is horrified.) 
 
 No, no! 
 
 MARLOWE. 
 
 What's the matter, Dan? 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (Controls himself.) 
 
 The doctor agreed until he saw . 
 
 (He is again horrified and hesitates.) 
 
 I can't say it ! No, no ! 
 
 (Gains some control over himself.) 
 
ACT III 119 
 
 saw that — that birthmark . 
 
 (Stops abruptly as horror completely seizes him.) 
 
 My God! The burglar! 
 
 (Mrs, Marlowe sinks in chair and covers her face 
 with her hands and Marlowe stands someivhat 
 stooped, deeply affected.) 
 
 (Daniel regards his parents with horror upon his 
 face.) 
 
 That isn't it ! It can't be ! 
 
 (Regards his father and mother.) 
 
 Deny it, deny it, deny it! 
 
 (Neither parent answers.) 
 
 Then it's true! It's true! Oh! 
 
 (Covers his face with his hands.) 
 
 MARLOWE. 
 
 Yes. Your mother and I were sweethearts. We 
 forgot ourselves one night and a few days later I 
 was unexpectedly called away in the government 
 service. When your mother learned the truth from 
 Doctor Cornell to whom she appealed, she tried to 
 
 reach me, but failed and before I returned . 
 
 When I came back, we were immediately married 
 
120 SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 and we've always loved you. That's why we've kept 
 our secret. 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (An outburst.) 
 
 You loved me, yes! You must have loved me to 
 bring me into the world, an outcast, deprived of 
 my birthright! I'm no better than the poor devil 
 who was here tonight! We're both among the liv- 
 ing, not because that was the intention, but because 
 of a moment of passion ! And now% when I thought 
 I would be happy, I find myself ! Oh ! 
 
 (Staggers back and puts his hand upon table back 
 left for support, and touches the revolver Mears has 
 left.) 
 
 (Takes up revolver.) 
 
 I hate you both ! I ! 
 
 (Levels revolver.) 
 
 (Ethel and her father enter center.) 
 
 (Ethel hurriedly crosses before Daniel.) 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 Daniel! 
 
 (Reaches for revolver.) 
 
ACT III 121 
 
 Givt me that. 
 
 (She takes the gun from him.) 
 
 I'm ashamed of you! 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 You don't understand. 
 
 ETHEL. 
 
 Yes, I do. You were about to kill your parents. 
 Your parents, I say, because they have been father 
 and mother to you. They did wrong, that's true, 
 but they have tried to make up for the wrong as 
 best they could, by loving you and bringing you up 
 with the - fear of God in your heart, instead of 
 snuffing out your life by an illegal operation, or by 
 leaving you on a doorstep to fall into strange hands. 
 
 (Places gun on table.) 
 
 DANIEL. 
 
 (Regards Ethel and hows his head.) 
 
 (Regards his father.) 
 
 Forgive me, father. 
 
 (Marlowe indicates forgiveness by a nod of the 
 head.) 
 
122 SOME PEOPLE MARRY 
 
 (Daniel crosses to his mother and kneels beside 
 her.) 
 
 Mother. I can't tell you how sorry I am. 
 
 MRS, MARLOWE. 
 
 (Slowly looks up and embraces her son.) 
 
 My boy! 
 
 (Mrs. Marlowe has her arms about Daniel and 
 lovingly regards him as he kneels beside her^ and 
 Marlowe, Ethel and Doctor Cornell look upon 
 mother and son.) 
 
 AS 
 
 THE 
 
 CURTAIN 
 
 FALLS.