CU7 
 ■ HP 
 
11 III III! 
 
 013 785 701 7^ 
 
MAIIiICO PO*r PAW OH iKKCBiFT OT 
 
 E 567 
 .1199 
 Copy 1 
 
 ^4 
 
 M: Y POLICY;" 
 
 on. 
 
 THE NEW GOSPEL OF PEACE 
 
 I»K.ICE TJEIN OEIVTS 
 
 PHILADELPHIA: 
 
 UBA&T, JR./ KO. 8^ lOUTH WHABYEl. 
 
 ■ 1866. 
 
 BSTBBSD ▲OCOBDOfO TO ACT OF COS 
 
>1 . \Ji, 
 
d- 
 
 M: Y POLICY;" 
 
 oia. 
 
 THE NEW GOSPEL OP . PEACB, 
 
 ACCORDING TO 
 
 ST ANDY, THE APOSTATE. 
 
 B»>^ . y m i^y . '<i ^ 
 
 PITTSBURGH; 
 
 Mn P. Hunt & Co., 59 Fifth St., Masoftic Hatt, 
 
:\ 
 
 
MY POLICY. 
 
 CHAPTEE I. 
 
 1. Now, the birth of Saint Andy was in this wise : 
 The Devil begat Burr, Bnrr begat Calhonn, Calhoun 
 begat Davis, Davis begat Booth, and Booth" begat St. 
 
 •Andy the Apostate. 
 
 2. Behold the lord of the lash appeared unto Andy 
 in a dream, saying, ''thou shalt get thee up from thy 
 abolition slumbers and gird on thy armor, for thou 
 shalt be our too], and ve will make thee ruler over 
 Israel." 
 
 3. Thou shalt be called Moses, and by thy exceed- 
 ing ability thou shalt lead the children of Israel back- 
 ward through the Red Sea , of their own blood in- 
 to the land of Egypt* and the house of bondage. 
 
 4. Now all this was said that it might be fulfilled 
 which was spoken by the mouth of the prophet, say- 
 ing: "Behold I will call the roll of my slaves, from 
 the top of the great White House, and they shall an- 
 swer by a pow-wow, in a wigwam at the sea shore." 
 
 5. Now, Andy being raised from sleep by a Gin 
 Cock Tail, went and did as the lord of 'the lash had 
 commanded him, and he knew no more the ways 
 of righteousness. And the dagger of the assas- 
 
made a nev^r President, and he called Us name 
 
 CHAPTEE II. 
 
 1. In those days came John the Both, fhe was called 
 Both,) because he was both man and'^yU, and he 
 Potomac. "" ^''''^ °^ ^"''''''' ^y '^'' l^^^ts of the 
 
 nef; athS'."'^"°' ^"' '"' ''"' ^^"^dom of Jeff, is 
 
 3. For this is he that was spoken of by the prophet 
 Abraham, saymg, 'il ..odd i^ather bo aLsina^teTon- 
 
 ^ 0. liien coii.^.., I ;,: ^iixjui- iioiii le'i^iess'^e to Wash 
 iofl°"' ■? '^,';.;'j''P'j'^ed of hint, a..jd Booth said, "I am 
 
 "MySv.- ' " ^''''^' "'' "'^'* ^' ^''' f°^ '^^' ^ 
 and rt"V"' '^^f^^^^^, 1^^'^ in 'he name, of Abraham, 
 dom '^?'f ?-^^'^ If "i ^°^f^ and a voice from Eebel^ 
 tT, '%' ■•; l.'^'°®.' ^^'^"^ • ^"^^^e will have peace,- ■ 
 
 7. And Moses said, -Yes, we will have peace : And 
 
 He issued a declamation, and immediately, the cry of 
 
 muraor oegan to be heard in the land ; and Moses said, 
 
 i^is.en, i told you we,woul3 have peace ! " 
 
 6 Aiureverj man wJio had committed mui'der, he 
 
 Tto^H- f \V^'''^' "".r^" loyal Mnan dare come 
 
 OHAKTEJl III. 
 
 1. Now it came to pass that Moses was more sober 
 1.11 he ever had been before. 
 
2. And lie said I will make a gi oat lamentation i 
 tlie land of Israel. I will pnll my hair and fear m, 
 ©lose fit, and make treason odious. 
 
 3 But presently Moses grew too big for his clo^ 
 fit, and the lord of the lash took him into an exceed- 
 inky black temple of the southern chiy airy and the 
 lord of the lash spake unto Moses, saying, ''All these 
 will I give thee if thou will lead them back into 
 Egypt. 
 
 4. Kow Moses remembered how his father-in-law- 
 had a colored temple, and he said, I was a tailor and 
 made a close fit. 
 
 5. And Moses said it is written, " Man shall not live 
 by tailoring alone, but he shall have an ofiice once and 
 a while." Therefore, he said unto the lord of the lash, 
 Thou art my god, and if thou wilt make " My Policy " 
 President, I will be your Moses to lead the children 
 of Israel backward through the Bed Sea of their own 
 blood into bondage. ^ 
 
 6. Now, the lord of the lash spoke again unto Moses, 
 saying. Behold thou art a tailor and art slow of good 
 speech, but I will make Doolittle and Eamond s;:eak for 
 thee, and I Avill make them bawl as y^uiig calYesbawl 
 for milk, and whichever bawls the loudest shall be 
 hisfh i^viest in the black temple. 
 
 PIT A t>ti-!vt:> TV 
 
 ncii 
 
 Booth had finished his work, he cried 
 " Sic Semper Tyrannis," and the lord of the lash called 
 him to his bosom,' and the F. P. Y's. worshipped him. 
 
 2. But a certain Boston Corbet punished Booth in 
 the neck, and he departed for a warmer country to 
 prepare another place for the mighty Tailor. 
 
 3. Now, when the wise men of the East heard vfhat 
 was done, they came to see the child that was bom by 
 a dagger, and they fell down and worshipped him. 
 
4. And he said iinto himself, I am no longer a tai- 
 lor, but I am *' some pumpkins." - 
 ^'."^"^t «,®^i^g t^e great multitude ids little soul 
 
 ^^^ . w??^^V^'''^ ^""^ ''P ^* ^^g^* a^^ went up into the 
 great White House and opened hi^ mouth, saying- 
 ^ 6. Blessed is the Tailor, for he was once a ''< horse" 
 m a city, and now he is President. 
 
 7. Blessed is every man that curseth the ni^^er, for 
 I was a Tailor. ^- 
 
 ^ 8 Blessed are all those who shall mourn for the poor 
 Tailor, for they shall be comforted. 
 ^ 9. Blessed is every man that killed a nigger, for he 
 IS a peacemaker and a child of the mighty Tailor. 
 
 10. Blessed are those who do hunger and thirst af- 
 ter "My Policy." for they shall be filled. 
 
 11. Blessed are all those who shall have murdered 
 loyal men, for they shall be made Mayors of cities and 
 Governors of States. 
 
 12. Blessed are the States that rebelled, for they 
 shall be exalted. 
 
 13. Cursed is every man that curseth not the nigger, 
 for he shall have no civil rights, neither shall- he have 
 a bureau. 
 
 TT ^^' ^}^^^^ ^^ e^'^r/ man that fought to sustain the 
 Uni3n, for they shall be turned out of office and his 
 . plac^e filled with the children of the tribe of Jeffio. 
 
 15." Cursed is every man that worshipeth not the 
 Tailor, for he is now a mighty man in Israel, and the 
 shadow of his close fit may be seen iu New Orleans. 
 
 16. Yenly I say -ftuto you, Thaddeus and Sumuer 
 are traitors, and Forney is a ''dead cluck," they shall 
 have no office-for I am a Tailor. ' . 
 
 17. But a certain righteous man callek Alexander 
 H. Stephens is-in favor of " My Policy," and he must 
 be admitted intoCongress. 
 
 18. And furthermore, be it known unto you, that I 
 have a son-in-law who was Jeffie's Judge, and he is 
 now a Senator from Tennessee. 
 
r'>orvIO 70?- onorte'ss'X. 
 
 I». And if he IS not admitted themigW Tailor will 
 it a ak ^^^^- "" ""P ^^ nation once and.«an do 
 
 for-My'Slleyr "°'° *^^«' ^1^«" tiouprayest praj 
 
 anShef cloil fit! '''* "''^ ^' "°' "^P^"^^''' ^ ^''^ ^^^e 
 22 Ye are begotten of " My Policy," and I had al- 
 most forgotten to mention that I was a tailor. 
 
 OHAPTEB V. 
 
 1 Now, when Moses, the Tailor, had come down out 
 of the temple, after telling his "dead duck " story the 
 people gathered around him, and a certain scribe sa^d 
 unto hnn, Master, I will- follow thee wherever thou o'o 
 
 GSt. "^ 
 
 2. And be said unto him, I go back mto Egypt, fol- 
 owme,and thou shalt remain Prime i¥ini°ster ' and 
 heat the "" goose " foi me. 
 
 8. And immediately the scribe called », great concave 
 and as the dog days were near at hand they caved in a 
 ^KT.J ^^^V^^'i^apd forged anew the chain 
 
 1. \ % ?■'', ''"'" ^^''"^'"'■"^ *° *^° ^™rid that four 
 years of fiendish warfare to destroy .the big parchment 
 that made thorn better than loyal men '■-^-n-nc 
 
 rPltb^^fl^r'*^'™°'''i^'?''^ *^^ K^'^"*' «°"'^e, if these 
 Shelp'lhl^"""" *"" ^°"'^'^^^" ^""^ '""^^ ---1' - ■ 
 
 5 And if they cannot do it peaceably, they are un- 
 worthy the name of men if they do not attempt it by 
 
 6. Now be it known to the friends of this country 
 that tnere is a niighty crew ail clad in gray clothes tha 
 fit nice, for their' captain is a tailor 
 
 7. And this happy band of Loyal Traitors want the 
 
8 
 
 Kejstone for Clymer and tTien they will climb the base 
 of Bunker Hill and carry Gettysburg to Boston. 
 
 8. And another one of his disciples said unto him, 
 Suffer me first to go and bury my father for he was 
 killed in the wilderness of '' My Policy." 
 
 9. But Moses said unto him, Let the niggers bury 
 the dead, follow '' My Policy," and we will have a good 
 thing in '68. 
 
 10. Yerily, I say unto you, the heavens and earth 
 shall pass away, but " My Policy" must be President. 
 
 11. Behold the axe is laid at the root of the tree, and 
 every tree that supports not my policy shall be hewn 
 down and cast into the nre, for I was a tailor. 
 
 CHAPTER YI. 
 
 1. Now, the people maclo a bureau, that those who 
 were loyal should no^ be persecuted by traitors, but 
 those who had purchased their freedom with their own ' 
 blood should enjoy it. 
 
 2. But Moses said unto them, Yv^e are going back in- 
 to Egypt, and we can carry neither Cupboard nor Bu- 
 reau, nothing but "My Policy." . 
 
 3. But the people said unto him, Moses, thou art a 
 dead duck, we received this Bureau from our father 
 Abraham, and they placed it beside the Tabernacle of 
 the Covenant, and Moses Ys^ept. i 
 
 4. Now there were certain men ^. .,:..... .Republicans 
 
 in the land and they invented a bill of Civil Rights 
 which said a loyal man had just as good a right to s\f elir 
 to the truth as a perjured traitor. _ 
 
 5. But Moses lifted up his voice and said. This can- 
 not be done, it is not My Policy. The nigger is an in- 
 ferior being and I was a tailor. 
 
 6. But two-thirds of the people said unto Moses, 
 Abraham wrote in the big parchm^ent. that slavery 
 should be no more, and you are a dead duck. 
 
7. Moses became very wrotli and opened his big 
 month again, saying, 
 
 8. Men and brethren we are going back into Egyp ' 
 we are no more men at all if we snffer such oppres" 
 gion ; My Policy must prevail. 
 
 9. I will be your Moses. We will pass the Eed Sea 
 and occupy that fair land which the drafted men have 
 taken, called Can-I-die (Canada.) 
 
 10. Therefore, you will gather together your tcibfer- 
 nacles, your slave pens;- your auction blocks, your 
 chains, your manacles, and your human chatties, and 
 we will take our old Statutes, our old Constitution and 
 My Policy with us, and will go where the Democracy 
 went during the war, even unto Can-I-die. 
 
 11. ISTow brethren,. be of good cheer, Breckinridge 
 is there. Slidell and Mason are there. Davis shall 
 go with us. Yallandigham shall go before for he 
 knows the road ; we will take the bones of Booth 
 with us, and Clynier shall go with Moses and learn the 
 tailor business. 
 
 12. And Yv'hen Vv^e shall have taken possession of the 
 Territorfes of the Kew Dispensation, I will divide the 
 country into twelve tribes of ^ Traitors, that have 
 fought under My Policy. 
 
 13. YaHaudigham shall have a kingdom and Cljane^' 
 shall Itave a kingdom, Alexander H. Stephens shaU 
 have a kingdom, Orr shall have a kingdom, and Sew- 
 ard shall have a kingdom, but Doolittle shall have no 
 kingdom for he has done but little. 
 
 14' Nevertheless, every man that killeth a nigger 
 shall have a kingdom, and every man that can shoAV a 
 commission under Davis or Lee, shall have an office, 
 for I am thy Moses that taketh thee out of the land of 
 Bureaus and Civil Eights into the plagues of- Egypt 
 nd the house of bondao-e. 
 
 o 
 
10 
 
 CHAPTER YII. 
 
 1. Now there was a certain thing called Glimer, and 
 he had been climbing for many years to get to be tall 
 among traitors. 
 
 2. Yallandigham said Climer had a dispute as to 
 which should be greatest in the kingdom of Jeffie. 
 
 3. And Jeffie said-unto them, shame! Why quar- 
 rel in such a large country? 
 
 4. Let Yallandigham go into the West and Climer 
 into th3 East, and I v/ill make you both rulers. 
 
 5. And the people heard the evil words of Jeffie, 
 and they threw Yallandigham one hundted thousand 
 miles into utter darkness. 
 
 6. And Moses s})oke unto Yallandigham in a sor- 
 rowful tone, saying, "Remain in the wilderness until 
 October, -for lam coming.'! 
 
 7. And when thou shall hear the voice of a mighty 
 tailor in the wilderness, crying, " dead duck," then 
 thou shalt know that we journey for antither country 
 and thou shalt go before. 
 
 8. Audit came to pass in those days there was a 
 great rebellion, r,nd Clymcr and Yallandigham strove 
 to se^e which could do the most for the dirty rag with 
 one star. , . . ' " • ■ ■ 
 
 9. And Yallandigham was a. mighty iiKin ana he 
 worked in the lead, and as they p idled together Moses 
 struck Climer, to make him pull the harder. 
 
 10. And it came to pass, that as he pulled he tore 
 his close fit and his naked , treason cursed carcass 
 became a great stench in the land. 
 
 11. And waking up from their slumbers and seein'g 
 they were naked, they said mito each other, let us do 
 as Jeffie did ; put on iMiy coats ^ and perhaps Ave can 
 hide., 
 
 12. But the people said unto Climer, the fee of that 
 hundred thousand that carried Yallandham out, are at 
 
11 
 
 the door and shall soon carry thee out unto a foreign 
 
 land where Moses can repair the close fit, for he is a 
 Tailor. 
 
 CHAPTER YIII. 
 
 1. And it came to pass a/S the children of Israel 
 journeyed in the wilderness they came into a great 
 city called New Orleans, and the Butternuts stood at 
 the corners of the streets with arrows in their hands, 
 and Moses stood afar off and watched them murder his 
 people. 
 
 2. And when the last one was driven out of tho 
 eity, Moses laughed like a Tailor. 
 
 8. And spake unto the murderers with wings of 
 lightning saying do it more^ Aaron's rod shall comfort 
 you. 
 
 4. But the people when they saw Moses was bound 
 for Egypt called him to judgment. 
 
 5. And in the curiosities of Uncle Sam's house, 
 there was a striped coat of female attire. 
 
 6. Now this was the same in which Davis hid from 
 the sight of Uncle Sam's men. 
 
 7. And the people placed this garment upon Mosea^ 
 even as the Lord had commanded, and they found it 
 was an exceedingly close fit. 
 
 8. In so much that Moses exclaimed, my punish- 
 ment is greater than I can bear. Is it possible that I 
 •was born of the same mother, or begotten of the same 
 father, for behold! this garment doth fit like a "dead 
 duck." 
 
 8. Now this is the gospel of the New Dispensation- 
 Hearken unto the voice of the lord of the lash, and 
 may peace be with all who dwell in Canada. A little 
 while and I will be with you all. Amen, — For I am a 
 Tailor, 
 
IVQli 
 
 JlO);,;if o"fO '?•>-:;» 
 
 'KJ^ Ihiv 
 
 'Tri T- 
 
♦ 
 
HAIIAD IPO«« PAID i LiBRHRT-UF-X.Ui^i;RE>b 
 
 BHl^BBD AOOOBDiyO TO ACT QK OOVQBM*, 
 
013 785 701 7^