'I 1(!!.!P'"" !' Mil') it il 1 .',i ' Rdok - B 7 n^KSENTED IJY «(oS" i LOHN'S CLASSICAL LIBRARY. THE EPIGRAilS OF MARTIAL, THE EPIGRAMS M A E T I A L. TRANSLATED INTO ENGLISH PROSE. 1/ EACH ACCOMPANIED BY ONE OR MORE VERSE TRANSLATIONS, FROM THE WORKS OF ENGLISH POETS, AND VARIOUS OTHER SOURCES. LONDON: BELL & DALDY, 6, YORK STREET, COVENT GARDEN, AND 186, FLEET STREET. 1865. Gift. W. L. Shoemaker 7 S '06 LOKDOJf: W. CLOWES AND SONS, STAirFORD STREET AND CHARING CROSS. •4 ^> PREFACE. It is a singular fact that Martial is the only Latin poet of mark who has not hitherto been completely translated into the English language. If not so interesting as Poets of the Augustan Age for his latinity, he is more so for his pictures of the manners and customs of E-ome at that very interesting period the commencement of the Christian era. It must he premised that his constant and severe castigation of the two great vices which prevailed in his time, and the unflinching boldness with which he proclaims them, has given him the reputation of an obscene poet ; but his lashings were well di- rected, and, no doubt, had a beneficial efiect. Horace, Virgil, Juvenal, Catullus, and several other of the great poets of antiquity, have indulged in similar freedoms, although not to the same extent, and the character of the age permitted and almost seemed to demand them. In our own modern times, that is, in the brilliant literary epoch which includes Shakespeare, Beaumont and Tletcher, Swift, Prior, Pielding, Pope, and Byron, we have a similar tendency, but he must be very squeamish who would entirely banish these valuable authors on account of it. I am not, however, intending to enter the lists in defence of Martial, and have merely said thus much in excuse for giving him a place in the present Library, which, sooner or later, is intended to include aU the leading Grreek and Eoman classics. Elphinston, in his preface, ventures to assert that Martial laboured in the detection of error, the vindication of inno- cence, the diffusion of knowledge, and the display of truth ; IV PEEFACE. and that he commimicatea more life, and more literature, more wisdom, and more wit, than any other of the ancient poets, or perhaps than all of them put together. This is stronger language in his favour than other writers have used, and perhaps more than is borne out by the evidence, but the reader will judge for himself. The plan of the present edition has been to give every Epigram hitherto ascribed to Martial, in English prose, accompanied, as far as they could be found, by metrical ver- sions. In those instances where an English translation given faithfully would be too gross for our present notions of propriety, the Latin has been retained, accompanied by the Italian version of Graglia, who has been rather dextrous in refining impurities. He was an Italian teacher in Lon- don, where his book was printed in 1782 and 1791, and it then had, and still has, a very general and unrestricted sale. There have been seven complete Erench versions of Martial,^ some very recent, and it would have been equally, if not more convenient to select from these, but that none of them have used the least refinement, indeed, have sometimes rather exceeded their author in his worst properties. It now remains to speak of the present translation. This was first undertaken, and to some extent performed, by a Cambridge graduate of accredited powers, but proved too syntactically literal for perspicuity ; it then passed into the hands of a literary veteran of the sister University, and has finally been read through the press with great diligence by my eldest son and myself. No book in my Classical Library has been found so dif&cult, or has had such a thorough comb- ' Trad, en prose par Michel de Marolles, Paris, 1655. En vers par M. de Marolles, Paris, 1671 and 1675. En vers par le Baron Simon et P. R. Auguis, Paris, 1819. En prose par Verger, Dubois, et Mangeart, Paris, 1834-5. En vers par Dubos et Jules Janin, Paris, 1841. En prose par Denis Volland, Paris, 1807. En prose par M. Isisard, Paris, 1843. PEE FACE. V ing, and if any imperfections still remain, I am willing, as the last reader, to hf responsible for them. The book will at least be found to possess one singular advantage, which is in re- spect to the metrical versions. Having for more than ten years past intended to give Martial to the EngHsh reader on the present plan, I collected every poetical scrap likely to forward my object, and, besides several rare volumes, for- tunately fell in with a very interesting MS. of the age of Elizabeth, which versifies with considerable ability a great proportion of the Epigrams. The only metrical versions in- troduced, which may be deemed unworthy of a place in the volume, are those of Elphinston, which, it must be confessed, are very indifferent, to say no worse of them. But he has always stood to the public as the accepted English versifier of Martial, and his pompous Quarto, dignified by a long array of subscribers' names, still occupies a prominent place in many libraries ; we may therefore stand excused for using him in places where no better could be found. This volume has been at press for nearly three years, and a large proportion of it was printed when we were unexpect- edly greeted by Mr. Amos with his " Martial and the Moderns." His plan is much the same as our own, excepting that he generally adds a commentary ; but he confines him- self to a selection of about 260 Epigrams (out of more than 1500), and his metrical adjuncts are comparatively few. Instead, therefore, of entertaining any jealousy of the book, we rather welcome its appearance as an indication of the interest English scholars are again taking in a poet so long left in repose. HENEY a. BOHN. Dec. 28a, 1859. INTRODUCTION. The literature of imperial Eome has powerfully influenced the civilization of the Western world ; and, amid the vast changes of our social system, still continues to maintain its high place in the republic of letters. This is due partly to the gi-andeur of the people by whom the language was spoken, but more so to the illustrious wiiters who wedded it to intellectual creations that must ever be models for study and admiration. Among these writers, Martial stands as the fii'st Epigrammatist, not only of his own, but of eveiy succeeding age. The bent of his genius seems to have lain entu-ely in this direction. Everything he penned, whether begging a favour, satirizing a fault, writing an inscription, or paying a compliment, was an epigram. The word epigram originally signiiied, as its etymology implies, nothing more than an inscription. But in the devdopment which it received in the progress of literatm-e, and especially at the hands of Mairial, it assumed an entu-ely new character, and may be de- fined as the concentration of satire and pointed invective in a short poem. One idea is selected, and to this all the powers of the poet's mind are directed, and made to converge as to a point. To the gracefulness of the Greek epigram the Romans super- added shrewdness and an acute observation of human nature : the shafts of Martial are pointed by the same sarcastic feeling which inspired the Epodes of Horace, and the Satires of Juvenal, In the essentials of brevity and smartness our author seldom or never failed. Some of his epigrams are, it is true, very obscure to us now, owing to our imperfect acquaintance with the subject of his satire. And in such a mass it is to be expected that many would be of indifferent merit. Of this the poet himself was well aware, as we learn from his own words. Book i. Ep. 16 : Sunt bona, sunt qucedam mediocria, sunt mala plura Quae legis hie : aliter non fit, Avite, liber. Of the epigrams which you read here, some are good, some middling, many bad : a book, Avitus, cannot be made in any other way. rNTRODUCTION. Vll But the greater part are unquestionably full of profound wit and humour, and it is only to be regretted that they should be asso- ciated with so many that must be intolerable to any but an impure taste. The age of Martial, which just preceded the decline of Eo- man literature, allowed fuU scope for epigrammatic satire. The city of Eome appears, as we learn from Juvenal, and other con- temporary writers, to have presented one universal scene of villany. The despotism of the Emperors, the luxury of the patricians, the dissipation of the citizens, and the corruption of public men, had then arrived at a cHmax. Every feature of depravity started from the canvass. The laws of nature were everywhere violated, and iniquity itself acquired a kind of legal acknowledgment. " In every street were found Voluptuous Sybarites with roses crown' d; The rank Miletan and the Tarentine, Lewd, petulant, and reeling ripe with wine." The biography of IVIakcus Valerius Martialis is involved in some obscurity ; and the little we know of him is chiefly derived from his own writings. With the exception of iElius Verus, who designated him as " his Yirgil," and the younger Pliny, he does not appear to have been especially noticed by any contemporary writers. Pliny describes him as a man of acute and lively genius, whose writings abound with an agreeable spirit of wit and satire, conducted at the same time with great candour and good nature. He also informs us' that when Martial left Rome, he made him a present to defray the expenses of liis journey, "not only as a testimony of his friendship, but in retmn for the verses with which he had complimented him." Prom the above, and occasional allusions made by Spartianus, Lampridius, and the grammarians of the later period, we are enabled to glean so much of Martial's personal history, as that he was bora at Bilbilis, in Spain, on the 1st of March, in the third year of Claudius, a. d. 43. This Bilbilis (the modern Bubiera) was a town of ancient Celtiberia, now knowm as Arragon, and situated on the river Salo, or Halo, which faUs into the Ebro, above Saragossa. The name of our poet's father (as we learn from the 34th Epigram of his 5th Book) was Pronto, and of his mother PlacciUa.' At the age of twenty-one or twenty-two he came to 1 Prof. Eamsay (Smith's Diet., art. Martial) treats this as a misconcep- tion. Vlll INTRODUCTION. Kome, in the reign of Nero, a. d. 66 ; and tliere he continued to reside during a period of thirty-five years, under the Emperors Galba, Otho, Yitellius, Vespasian, Titus, and Domitian. His first intention was to qualiiy himseK for the bar ; but on discovering that he had no genius or inclination for this profession, he applied himself to the study of literature and poesy. In this pursuit he happily succeeded, and acquired an elegant and versatile style of writing, which introduced him to Silius Italicus, Juvenal, Pliny, and many of the first wits of the age. It appears that a noble- man, named Stertinius, conceived so great an esteem for Martial's compositions, that he placed a statue of him, while living, in his hbrary — at that time an unusual honour. Domitian, the last of the twelve Caesars, whose name has ob- tained an infamous notoriety in the annals of imperial Eome, con- ferred many especial favours on Martial, which may be attributed to the adulations bestowed upon him by the poet. Among other honours Martial was advanced to the tribunate and eques- trian dignity, and, at the same time, invested with the jus trium liberorum, which conferred on him all the important privileges of a citizen who had three children. The poet's humiliating pe- tition for this honour is recorded in Epigram 91 of Book ii. Martial's continued flattery of the brutal despot of Eome is a drawback on his fame. His praises of the imperial monster were boundless and unqualified. Thus in one of his epigi'ams he invokes Jupiter not to confer favours on himself, but upon the representative of the gods (Caesar), who, in his munificence, was certain to transfer them to his favoured bard. And sure enough Domitian rewarded the poet not only with wealth, but with the highest honoiu's ; and this at the very time, as Juvenal, the friend of Martial, expresses it, when the tyrant " daily drain' d, by none withstood. The city of its best and noblest blood." On the assassination of Domitian, to whom the senate refused funereal honours, the true character of Martial developed itself. After having portrayed the emperor, while living, as the pattern of every vu'tue, he undertook, after death, to expose his fiendlike abominations, and represented him as " the monster of the times, Without one virtue to redeem his crimes." Martial afterwards attempted to pay his court to Trajan ; but that virtuous monarch turned a deaf ear to him. Being forsaken INTRODUCTION. IX by Ms friends, he directed his thoughts towards his native country, which he was enabled to revisit tkrough the liberality of his friend Pliny ; for it appears, according to his own showing, that he was then reduced to gi-eat distress. See Ep. 13, Book v " Sum, fateor, semperque fui — pauper." He there succeeded in gaining the affections of a woman of fortune, named MarceUa, whom he eventually married. He speaks very highly of this lady, who, it appears, was in possession of a magnificent house and gardens, which she settled upon her husband. After his marriage he completed his 12th Book of Epigrams, at the desii-e of his friend Priscus, a man of consular dignity, to whom the book is inscribed as his patron. The other two books, which constitute the 13th and 14th of the series, are entitled "Xenia" and " Apophoreta," and so called fi'om their containing mottoes or devices to be affixed to presents offered to friends, or distributed at the Saturnalia and other festivals. These fourteen books are preceded by " Spectacula," which are a series of epigrams on the shows exhibited by Titus and Domitian; though, as it appears, not all \\T.itten by Martial himself. Martial lived in comparative affluence and ease to an advanced period of life ; and died about the 75th year of his age, the 104th of the Christian era. Many difficulties exist in the chronology of Martial's Epi- grams ; but the researches of Lloyd, DodweU, and Clinton have done much towards their satisfactoiy elucidation. It appears that the different books were collected and published by Martial, sometimes singly, and at other times several together. Their chronology and order of pubKcation are thus stated in Dr. Smith's Dictionary of Greek and Eoman Biogi'aphy : " The * Liber de SpectacuKs,' and the first nine books of the re- gular series, involve a great number of historical allusions, ex- tending from the games of Titus, A. d. 80, to the return of Do- mitian from the Sarmatian expedition, in January, a. d. 94. The second book could not have been written until after the commence- ment of the Dacian war (ii. 2), that is, not before a. d. 86, nor the sixth until after the triumph over the Dacians and Gennans (a. d. 91) ; the seventh was written while the Sarmatian war, which be- gan in A. D. 93, was stiU in progress, and reaches to the end of that year. The eighth book opens in Januaiy, a. d, 94; the ninth also refers to the same epoch, but may, as Clinton supposes, have X INTRODUCTION. been written in a. d. 95. The whole of these were composed at Eome, except the third, which was written during a tour in Gallia Togata. The tenth book was published twice : the first edition was given hastily to the world ; the second edition, that which we now read (x. 2), celebrates the arrival of Trajan at Eome, after his ac- cession to the throne (x. 6, 7, 34, 72). Now since this event took place A. D. 99, and since the twenty-fourth epigram of this book was written in honom' of the author's fifty-seventh birth-day, we are thus supplied with the data requisite for fixing the epoch of his birth ; and since at the close of the book (x. 104) he had been thirty-fom* years at Eome, we can thence calculate the time when he left Spain. The eleventh book seems to have been published at Eome early in a. d. 100, and at the close of the year he re- turned to BilbiKs. After keeping silence for three years (xii. pro- em.), the twelfth book was despatched from BilbiLLs to Eome (xii. 3, 18), and in this he refers (xii. 5) to the two preceding books, published, as we have seen, in a. d. 99 and 100." Martial, though he often offends by gross indelicacies of expres- sion, or pruriency of thought, stands preeminent, not only as an epigrammatist, but as one of the purest Latin writers of his age; and his style and manner have been generally copied by the wits of aU succeeding periods. Yet there are few authors who have been more exposed to criticism. Some have bestowed upon him the most unqualified praise, while others have treated him with the grossest scurrility. The learned Scaliger declares that many of his epigrams " are divine, and his style piu:e and ex- act," and Morhofius, in his " Polyhistor," speaks of his " elegant knowledge of the Latin tongue." Vossius, on the contrary, con- tends that Martial was one of those authors who taught vice while reproving it; and that, though he deserves commendation for many of his epigrams, yet by those which are obscene he did more harm than by others he had done good. Notwithstanding the conflicting opinions of his numerous critics, it is perhaps not too much to say, that the writings of Martial will be read and admired so long as the Latin language shall continue to be understood. They are pervaded by a vein of wit and fund of information concerning the manners and customs of the important age in which he lived, that will always render him valuable and interesting both to the archeologist and the student of human nature. MARTIAL. ON THE PUBLIC SHOWS OF DOMITIAN. I. ON" THE AMPHITHEATRE. Let barbarian ^ Memphis keep silence concerning the won- ders 2 of her pyramids, and let not Assyrian toil vaunt its Babylon. Let not the effeminate lonians claim praise for their temple of the Trivian goddess ; and let the altar, brist- ling with horns, speak modestly of the name of Delos.^ Their mausoleum too, hanging in empty air, let not the Carians with immoderate praise extol to the skies. Every work of toil yields to Caesar's amphitheatre; fame shall tell of one work for all. ^ The word barhara may agree either with Memphis or miracula. Most probably it is meant to be taken with the former. It was a habit of the Greeks, and from them copied by the Romans (see Plaut. Mil. Glor. ii. 2. 58), to speak of all those who were not of their o-svn nation as harbari; which word consequently signifies nothing more than foreign, strange, outlandish. 2 Miracula. — The wonders of the ancient world were usually con- sidered to be seven : viz. — 1. The Egyptian pyramids ; 2. The temple of Diana at Ephesus ; 3. The tomb erected by Artemisia, queen of Caria, in memory of her deceased husband Mausolus, from whom it derived its name of Mausoleum ; 4. The Colossus of Rhodes ; 5. Phidias' Jupiter Olympius, a statue of ivory and gold; 6. The hanging gardens of Baby- lon, laid out upon the walls of that capital ; 7. The palace of Cyrus, king of Persia. 3 There was an altar in Delos, said to have been constructed by Apollo of the horns of the stags slain by Diana, or " the Trivian goddess." B MAETIAL No more let sun-burnt Cairo vaunt, that she Bequeaths her wonders to eternity. Let not Euphrates, in a superb style, Brag her wall-girdle unto sixty mile. Who lends Diana confidence to tell Her cedar statues scorn a parallel ? What if Apollo's horned altar stands Unimitable by Lysippus' hands ? Let Carian impudence presume so far As to make Mausoleum kiss a star, Dame Tellus ! and thy prodigies confer ; They must kneel to the Amphitheatre. This miracle, graced by Vespasian's name, Hath the monopoly of checquer'd fame. Peclce, Itoy. Egypt, forbear thy pyramids to praise, A barb'rous work up to a wonder raise ; Let Babylon cease th' incessant toil to prize,^ Which made her walls to such immenseness rise ; Nor let th' Ephesians boast the curious art Which wonder to their temple does impart. Delos, dissemble, too, the high renown Which did thy horn-framed altar lately crown ; Caria, to vaunt thy Mausoleum spare. Sumptuous for cost, and yet for art more rare. As not borne up, but pendulous i' th' air. All works to Caesar's theatre give place ; This wonder Eame above the rest does grace. Anon. 1695. Why sing the wonders of th' Egyptian shore ? Let far-famed Babylon be praised no more ; Let not Ionia vaunt Diana's fane ; * * * * * ^ * Nor let the Carian town exalt so high Its mausoleum, hanging in the sky ; In Cgesar's amphitheatre are shown Those rival glories all combined in one : Let Fame henceforth her clam'rous tongue confine To sing the beauties of that dome divine. Eustace. II. ON THE PUBLIC WORKS OF DOMITIAK. Here where the starry Colossus ^ surveys the skies froma nearer point than we, and where lofty scaffoldings^ now rise m i A colossal statue of himself, raised by Nero as an ornament to the vestibule of his "golden house," 120 feet in height (Suet. Ner. c. 31). On the fate of this Colossus, see Gifford, Juv. vni. 230. ■' Scaffoldings, or pageants, consisting of several stones. ON THE PUBLIC SHOWS. 3 the midst of the street, the detested halls of a cruel king lately glistened,^ and one single mansion began to occupy the whole space of the city. Here, where the venerable^ mass of the far-seen Amphitheatre now rises, were the ponds of JSTero. Here, where we gaze with admiration at the Thermae, a boon so suddenly bestowed,^ a proud lawn had deprived poor wretches of their homes. Where the Claudian portico now throws its wide-spreading shadows, was the last remnant of a falling court. E-ome has been restored to herself, and what were formerly the delights of the master, are now, under thy rule, Caesar, those of the people. Where the ethereal Coloss does appear, The tow'ring Machine to the stars draw near, The hated court, which so much blood did spill, Late stood : one house the city seem'd to fill ! Where the stupendous theatre's great pile Is rear'd, there Nero's fish-ponds were erewhile. Here, where the Baths, a great yet speedy gift, All men admire (the people left to shift For dwellings) late was a proud ample space, Reserved to boast an insolent state and grace. Where now a goodly terrace does extend. The city both with shade and walks befriend, Was but the court's fag and expiring end. Rome 's to itself restored ; in Csesar's reign The prince's pleasures now the people gain. Anon. 169o- Where the Colossal star would stars survey. And rising machinations maze the way, Diverged the courts of an invidious crown, And one vast house monopolized the town. Here, where the awful pile displays the show, A pond of Nero could presume to flow. We there the Baths, the sudden boons, admire, Where the proud lawn bade wretches' homes retire. Where Claudius' portico expands her shade, Was the last stand a falHng palace made. Hail, Rome restored ! hail, Caesar, thy rewards ; Those are the people's joys, that were its lord's. Elphinston. ' The horror with which a Roman, after the expulsion of the Tarquins, regarded a king, is well known. 2 Because dedicated to Mars. 3 Hastily erected by Titus ; see Suetonius, Life of Titus, c. 7, and note. Bohn's edit. p. 470. b2 MAETIAL III. TO CiESAE, ON THE CONCOTJESE OP STEANGEES TO EOME. What race is so distant from us, wliat race so barbarous, Csesar, as that from it no spectator is present in thy city ? The cultivator of B/hodope is here from Orpheus' Hsemus : * the Sarmatian nourished by the blood drawn from his steed, is here. He too who drinks the waters of the Nile where it first becomes known to us, and he whose shores the surge of the remotest ocean laves. The Arabian has hastened hither, the Sabseans have hastened, and Cilicians have here drip- ped with showers of their own perfume. With locks- twist- ed into a knot, are come the Sicambrians ; and with hair twisted in other forms, the Ethiopians. Though different the speech of the various races, there is but one utter- ance, when thou art hailed as the true father of thy country. Most potent sir! what region is so rude From whence into your city none intrude ? The Rhodopeian farmer leaves cold Thrace, And to banquet his eyes elects this place : Tartarians, who quaff horses' blood at home Are much impatient till they have view'd Rome. They who first give a welcome to the Nile ; And they on whom sweet Zephyrus doth smile. Both the Arabias are in rapid haste ; For perfumed water Asia comes not last. Shall v/e omit knot-hair'd Sicambrians, And nature's frizzled Ethiopians ? Their languages are discrepant ; yet all The father of your country can you call. Pecke. What land 's so barb'rous, Caesar, so remote, Whose natives come not to admire thy court ? Rough Thracians hither from Mount Haemus speed ; Fierce Tartars, who on flesh of horses feed ; Who the Nile drink at the first spring and head ; Britons from utmost Thule hither led. Arabs make haste, Cilicians posting come, And in their saffron showers are drench'd at Rome ; Germans with rolling locks in knots upfurl'd ; iSthiops after a diff'rent manner curl'd. ' Rhodope and Hcsmus. Two of the highest mountains in Thrace. ON THE PUBLIC SHOWS. 5 Various their voices sound, but hearts, we see, And the whole jargon, does in one agree When Father of thy Country all style thee. Anon. 1695. What scene sequester'd, or what rude renown, Sends no spectators to th' imperial town ? The Rhodopeian hind here scours the plains, And tunes from Hasmus his Orphean strains ; Sarmatians, Csesar, hie thy works to see. And their proud horses share their master's glee ; They come who first the rising Nile explore, And they who hear remotest Tethys' roar ; The Arab hastes, the Sabean hither flies, And the Cilician spurns his native skies ; With tortured tresses, here Sicambrians gay, There Ethiops stroll along the crowded way. 'Mid various tongues, but one glad voice we find. Which hails thee father of converged mankind. Westminster Review, Apr. 1853. IV. TO C^SARjl UPON- HIS BANISHIN& INPOEMEES. That crowd, hostile to peace, and foe to calm repose ; that crowd, which was ever molesting unfortunate opulence, has been handed over to the Grsetulians. The arena did not suffice fo» the number of the guilty r^ and the informer now suffers that exile which he sought to give to others. Those caterpillars of the commonwealth, The poor man's wolf, whose livelihood was stealth, Growing too numerous, are shipp'd away. To feast the lions of Getulia : And those informers, who have many sent Into exile, now suffer banishment. Fecke. The hateful crew to peace and sweet repose. Informers, anxious wealth's molesting foes (The lions not sufficing to destroy The num'rous caitiffs that did all annoy), ^ Who is meant ? Titus or Domitian ? It is equally applicable to either of them. See Suetonius, Tit. 8, and Domit. 9. 2 Nee cepit arena nocentes is rendered by some translators, " and the sandy desert was not large enough to contain the number of the guilty." Others, with greater probability, suppose that the informers were exposed to the public gaze in the arena of the Amphitheatre, before they were sent into exile ; see Sueton. Tit. c. 8. 6 MARTIAL To th' Isles and furthest Africa are sent ; And those that caused now suffer banishment. Anon. 1695. lY. B. OF THE SAME SUBJECT. The informer now wanders an outcast from the Ausonian c'itj : this you may add to the other boons of our prince. The head of Italy Caesar acquits From sycophants. New days, fresh benefits. 1695. T. OTS THE SPECTACLE OE PASIPHAE. Believe that Pasiphae was enamoured of a Cretan bull : we have seen it. The old story has been confirmed. Let not venerable antiquity boast itself, Caesar ; whatever fame cele- brates, thy arena reproduces for thee.^ Enamour'd of a bull a Cretan queen We oft have heard, but now the thing have seen. Then, Csesar, let not age her pride display : What fable feign' d, thy Cirque has shown to-day. VI. TO C^SAR, O^ A WOMAN S EI&HTIN'Q- WITH A LION". That the warrior Mars serves thee in arms, suffices not, CaBsar ; Venus, too, herself serves thee. VI. B. ON THE SAME SUBJECT. A lion laid low in the vast vale of JSTemea fame trumpeted abroad as a noble exploit, and worthy of Hercules. Let ancient tales be silent ; for since thy shows have been ex- hibited, Caesar, we have seen this accomplished by a woman's hand."^ 'T is not enough in this our martial age That men, but women, in fierce combat 'gage. Among the noblest acts fame does resound, Alcides laid a lion on the ground. Let fables cease : Caesar, at thy command, This hath been acted by a woman's hand. Anon. 1695. ' See Suetonius. Nero, c. 12. ^ The last words are a conjectural mode of filling up a lacuna in the MSB. In some editions, these two epigrams are given as one. ON THE PUBLIC SHOWS. 7 Not Mars alone enjoys unvanquish'd arms, For thee, great Caesar, Venus shares th' alarms ; A lion foil'd, and in a vasty vale, The task Herculean rear'd a lofty tale. Old faith be mute : at thine august command, Such deeds we saw achiev'd by female hand. Mphinston. Til. ON LAUEEOLrS.' As erst, bound down upon the Scythian rock, Prometheus with ever-renewed vitals feasted the untiring vulture, so has Laureolus, suspended on no feigned cross, offered his defenceless entrails to a Caledonian bear. His mangled limbs quivered, every part dripping with gore, and in his whole body no shape was to be found. In short, he suffered such punishment as one who had been guilty of parricide, or who had cut his master's throat, or had insanely despoiled the temples of their hidden gold,^ or had applied the incendiary torch to thee, Eome. This criminal had surpassed the crimes of ancient story, and what had been fabulous, was in his case a real punishment. Prometheus to cold Caucasus is chain'd, Whilst by his entrails vultures are sustain'd : Wretched Laureolus a northern bear Very sincerely did asunder tear. Every vein to weep blood was inclined ; Strict search in 's carcass could no body find. Thus one that stabb'd his master must have died, Or actors of infernal parricide. This torment is his due who dares Rome fire. Or who deflowers the gods' most sacred choir. Obsolete mischiefs resalute the stage : Fables prove true in this our conscious age. Pecke. ■ This epigram refers to a Ballet or Drama of Action, composed either by Naevius or by Ennius, — for on this point the learned disagree, — in which a certain Laureolus, a noted robber, was crucified on the stage. Usually the death was simply a «to^e-death, without harm to the actor. Domitian has the honour of introducing a real death — that of an un- fortunate wretch already condemned " for the amusement of this detest- able people." — See GifFord and Mayor on Juv. viii, 187 ; and for a curious comment, compare what Martial says of the tigress in Ep. 18. 6 : " Post- quam inter nos est, plus feritatis habet ! " * It was a common practice for the ancients to deposit their private property in the temples for greater security. MAETIAL Tin. ON D^BALUS/ Daedalus, wliile thou wast being thus torn by a Lucanian bear, how must thou have desired to have those wings of thine. Now, Dsedalus, thou thus art torn By the Lucanian bear, How dost thou wish thy waxen wings, Again to cut the air ! Fletcher. So torn, O Daedal, by Lucanian bear. Thou well might' st wish thy wonted wings to wear. Elphinston. IX. ON THE EHINOCEEOS. The rhinoceros, exhibited for thee, Caesar, in the whole space of the arena, fought battles of which he gave no pro- mise. Oh, into what terrible wrath did he with lowered head blaze forth ! How powerful was that tusk to whom a bull was a mere ball ! ^ He who with armed nostril wildly glared, Has fought the battles he had not declared. How did his headlong rage the pit appal ! How flash'd the horn that made a bull a ball ! Mjphinston. X. ON A LION THAT HUET HIS KEEPEE. A perfidious lion with ungrateful jaws had wounded his keeper, having dared to attack with violence the hands so well known to him. But worthy of such a crime was the offender's punishment, and he who would not submit to correc- tion, succumbed to weapons. "What should be the characters of men under such a prince, who bids the savage nature of brutes become more gentle ! * A similar arprument to the preceding, a criminal being compelled to act the part of Daedalus, and precipitated by the failure of his wings among a crowd of hungry bears. On the bear-fights in the arena, see be- low, Ep. 11 ; Juv. iv. 99. 2 A ball covered with red cloth, used for the purpose of irritating the animals ; see below, Ep. 19 ; B. ii. Ep. 43; B. xiv. Ep. 53, in which last epigram reference is made to the same contest between the rhinoceros and a bull. ON THE PUBLIC SHOWS. U With deep ingratitude, a lion flew At 's keeper's throat ; thus his acquaintance slew. But he received his wages ; since he could Endure no blows, the hunting-spears he should. Men must be cautelous in carriage, since Beasts are taught morals by our gracious prince. Fecke. A trait'rous lion on his keeper flew, In him that fed him durst his teeth imbue. But vengeance worthy of his crime he found : Who bore not stripes, was forced to bear the wound. To such a prince what manners ought men show. Who beasts commands a gratitude to know! Anon. 1695. XI. OS A LIMED EEAE. "Whilst Eruin was rolling himself impetuously on the blood-stained arena, he lost the power of flight, entangled in bird-lime. Henceforth let glittering hunting-spears lie neg- lected, and their iron points be hid ; no more let the dart fly forth, lanced by the exerted arm. Let the huntsman surprise his prey in the open air, if beasts are to be caught by the fowler's art.^ A bear roll'd barrels on the bloody sand, And was arrested at bird-lime's command : There 's no more need to throw the letal spear. Or that a lance should forbid coming near. Huntsmen may chase the birds unto a bay. If fowlers to catch beasts conceive fair play. Pecke. While Bruin wallow'd in th' ensanguin'd sand, He lost, belimed, the needful flight's command. Now let the gleaming spears in darkness lie. Nor from the twisted arm the jav'lins fly ; In fields of air the huntsman seize his prey. If by the fowler's art we beasts betray. Elphinston. 1 Deprehendere is the proper word for capturing beasts of the field ; capture, for snaring the fowls of the air. So that Martial's mean- ing may be this : the huntsman had better use his arts in trying to cap- ture the fowls of the air, since the beasts of the field are now taken by arts borrowed from bird-catchers. Or rather, that the huntsman need no longer conceal himself in thickets, or aim spears at wild beasts from a d istance, since he may catch them on the open plains with bird-lime, and despatch them with his hunting-knife at his ease. 10 MARTIAL XII. ON A SHE-BOAR, THAT BROUGHT TORTH YOUNG IN CONSEQUENCE OE A WOUND. Amidst the terrible contests by which CsBsar imitates the sports of Diana, a light spear having pierced a pregnant she-boar, one of her litter leaped forth from the wound of its wretched mother. Oh ! cruel Lucina ! was this a delivery ? She would willingly have died wounded by more weapons, that this sad way to life might have been opened to all her young ones. Who will now deny that Bacchus owed his birth to the death of his mother ? you may believe that a deity was so produced ; for thus has a beast been born. I' th' public huntings Caesar did allow, A jav'lin swift transfix'd a pregnant sow : Straight from the wounded dam the litter sprung ; Lucina, call'st thou this to bring forth young ? The dying sow wish'd that her wounds were more, That issues had been made for all her store. Who denies Bacchus from the womb was torn ? A god might well, when beasts were this way born. Anon. 1695. XIII. ON THE SAME. Stricken with deadly weapon, and pierced with a mortal wound, the pregnant sow at once lost life and gave it. Oh ! how unerring was the hand with the well-poised dart ! This I believe to have been Lucina' s stroke. Dying, she ex- perienced the power of either Diana ; ^ hers, by whom the mother was delivered, and hers, by whom the savage beast was destroyed. Pierced with a deadly dart, the wounded mother At one time lost one life and gave another. How sure the levell'd steel the right hand throws ! This was Lucina's arm, I do suppose. Diana's double power she did sustain, When th' parent was deliver'd and yet slain. Fletcher. A pregnant sow, pierced with a deadly blow, Her Hfe at once did lose and life bestow. ' Diana in her two characters ; that of huntress, and that of the god- dess presiding over childbirth. ON THE PUBLIC SHOWS. H How sure an aim did the dire steel command ! Lueina, 't was believed to be thy hand : For dying both thy deities she found, The huntress and the midwife in her wound. Anon. 1695. XIY. ON THE SAME. A wild she-boar, just about to be delivered of the pledge of her ripen'd womb, gave birth to her offspring, being made a parent by a wound ; nor did the litter lie still-born, but ran about while its mother was falling. Oh ! how great inven- tion is evoked by sudden chances ! A sow, now great with pig, died of a wound Through which her litter tumbled to the ground ; While the dam stagger'd, that stay'd not behind : Distress will force a pig some wit to find. Feche. A sow, her litter ready to have laid, Was by a fatal stroke a mother made : The young, not staying bu'th, ran forth the womb. How quick a wit in sudden straits is found ! Anon. 1695. The pregnant boar, with ripen'd honours crown'd, Became a parent from her mortal wound. Soon as the mother fell, the gricelings flew : What th' ingenuity of chance can do ! Elphinston. XT. ON CARPOPHOBTJS. That which was the utmost glory of thy renown, Melea- ger, a boar put to flight, what is it 't a mere portion of that of Carpophorus. He, in addition, planted his hunting-spear in a fierce rushing bear, the monarch in the realm of the northern pole ; he also laid low a lion remarkable for its unheard-of size, — a lion, which might have become the hands of Hercules ; and he then, with a wound from a distance, stretched lifeless a fleet leopard. And when at length he carried off" his prizes, he was still in a condition to engage in new combats. A boar, Meleager, which gave thee a name, Adds little to Carpophorus's fame : Who a vast bear, rushing upon him, slew ; The northern clime a fiercer never knew j <|.2 MAETTAL A lion which became Alcides' hand, Of immense bulk, he laid upon the sand ; Also a pard : and when the prize was won, He still was fresh, and could yet more have done. Alton. 1695. XVT. ON" A BULL BEAEIIfQ- HEECTJLES TO THE SKIES. That a bull, snatched up from the midst of the arena, as- cended to the skies, was a work, not of art, but of piety. XVI. B. ON THE SAME SUBJECT. A bull ^ had carried Europa through his brother's waves ; but now a bull has borne Alcides to the stars. Compare now, Fame, the bulls of Csesar and of Jove : ^ grant that they carried an equal weight, Caesar's bore it to a greater height.^ That the bull was snatch'd up into the sky Seems not a pageant, but true piety : On a bull's back Europa rid at ease, But not to heaven, as did Hercules. Let Jove and Caesar's bulls for credit vie ; Jove's did but swim, and Caesar's bull can fly. Pecke. That from the stage a bull towards heaven did fly Was not th' exploit of art, but deity : A bull Europa through the surges bore. But with Alcides now 'bove clouds doth soar. The fact of Caesar and of Jove compare, Which of the two shall we pronounce most rare ? Suppose the burdens even ; were that true. The lighter-loaded swam ; the heavier flew. Anon. 1695. Rapt from the sand, a bull ascends the skies ; Let not the act, but piety, surprise : One bore Europa through fraternal main. And one Alcides to th' ethereal reign. Compare the steers of Caesar and of Jove : What diff'rent loads through diff'rent mediums rove ! Elphinston. XVII. ON AN elephant's KNEELING TO CJESAE. Whereas piously and in suppliant guise the elephant kneels ^ That is, Jupiter in the shape of a bull. ^ gee Juvenal iv. 101. 3 Compare B. I. Ep. 6. ON THE PUBLIC SHOWS. 13 to thee, Caesar, — that elephant which erewhile was so formi- dable to the bull his antagonist, — this he does without com- mand, and with no keeper to teach him : believe me, he too feels our present deity. That thee an elephant suppHant did adore. Who struck with terror a fierce bull before, T' his keeper's art cannot imputed be ; We must ascribe it to thy deity. Anon. 1695. * * * None taught him homage, but by instinct he Kneel' d down to you, because a deity. Pecke. XVIIT. ON A TIGEESS MATCHED WITH A LICK. A tigress that had been accustomed to lick the hand of her unsuspecting keeper, an animal of rare beauty from the Hyr- canian mountains, being enraged, lacerated with maddened tooth a tierce lion ; a strange occurrence, such as had never been known in any age. She attempted nothing of the sort while she lived in the depth of the forests ; but since she has been amongst us, she has acquired greater ferocity. The rare-seen glory of th' Hyrcanian land, A tiger, wont to lick his master's hand, In pieces tore a lion in his rage ; A thing not known before in any age. He durst not this attempt in forests high : Beasts among men learn greater cruelty. Anon. 1695. XIX. ON THE BULL AND THE ELEPHANT. The bull, which, lately goaded by flames through the whole arena, had caught up and cast aloft the balls,^ succumbed at length, being struck by a more powerful horn, while he im- agined the elephant might easily be thus tossed. When the strong bull, enraged by fire, did eye Puppies like men, he mounted them on high ; But dreaming thus an elephant to toss, He was struck dead by the flinty proboss. Pecke. ^ Pilas. See note on Ep. 9. 14 MAETIAl XX. OS MYRINUS AND TRIUMPHTJS, TWO GLADTATOES. "When one faction ^ was calling for Myrinus, the other for Triumplius, Caesar promised them both, with either hand. He could not have terminated the amusing contention in a better way. Oh, the charming wit of our unrivalled prince ! These Myrinus, Triumphus these demand : Indulgent Ceesar waves his either hand. Who better could the nice decision hit ? Unrivall'd prince, how gracious is thy wit ! Elphinston. XXT. OS OEPHEUS. AVhatever Ehodope is said to have beheld upon Orpheus' stage, your arena, Caesar, has exhibited to you. Eocks have crept along, and, marvellous sight ! a wood, such as the grove of the Hesperides is believed to have been, has run. There was to be seen every species of wild beast mingled with flocks, and above the poet hung many a bird. But he him- self was laid low, torn by an ungrateful bear. Thus, how- ever, this story, which was before but a fiction, has now be- come a fact.2 What Thrace on Orpheus' stage was said to see, Csesar, the sand exhibits here to thee. The rocks have crept, and the strange wood did move, Such as was once believed th' Hesperian grove. A mingled troop of all wild beasts were there, And o'er the bard a cloud of birds in th' air ; But he lay torn by the ungrateful bear : As it came feigned thence, so 't was true here. Fletcher. What in the Thracian mount 's of Orpheus told, Thy theatre, great Caesar, did unfold : The rocks were seen to move, the woods to run. When to his harp the wondrous minstrel sung : Together \yith the trees the beasts were led, And hovering birds circled his sacred head. At last a bear the prophet piecemeal tore, Acted in truth what fabled was before. Anon. 1695. ' Pars, that is, " a faction of the people in the Amphitheatre." As to the Bubject of the epigram, see Sueton. Domit. c. 4, Bohn's Transl. p. 481. Myrinus is mentioned again, B. xii. Ep. 29. ' Compare the story in Eps. 7 and 8, where a criminal, being obliged to act an assumed part in a show, was killed by a bear. OIT THE PUBLIC SHOWS. 15 XXr. B. ON OEPHEXIS. Do we wonder that the ground with sudden opening sent forth Orpheus ? He came from Eurydice who was compelled to return to the shades.^ IMITATION.^ When Orpheus went down to the regions below, Which men are forbidden to see, He tuned up his lyi"e, as old histories show, To set his Eurydice free. All hell was astonish'd a person so wise Should rashly endanger his life, And venture so far — but how vast their surprise. When they heard that he came for his wife ! To find out a punishment due to his fault Old Pluto long puzzled his brain, But hell had not torments sufficient, he thought — So he gave him his wife back again. But pity succeeding soon vanquish'd his heart. And, pleased with his playing so well. He took her again in reward of his art ; Such merit had music in hell. XXII. 05f A EHIKOCEROS. "While the trembling keepers were exciting the rhinoceros, and the wrath of the huge animal had been long arousing itself, the conflicts of the promised engagement were begin- ning to be despaired of; but at length his fury, well-known of old, returned. Eor easily as a bull tosses to the skies the balls ^ placed upon his horns, so with his double horn did he hurl aloft the heavy bear. While long they roused the hero to engage, And bid his nostrils gather all their rage. In vain the timid guides for battle burn'd ; When lo ! the glory of his power return'd : ' This Epigram, which many of the books and editions omit, is very corrupt. The text followed is, as usual, that of Shneidewin. For versa in the second line, Heinsius and others after him propose Thressa. * This curious and humorous epigram is a translation from the Spanish, by Dr. Lisle. 3 Pilas, See note on Ep. 9. 16 MARTIAL High a huge bear he heaved with double horn, As a bull sends aloft the balls that brave his scorn. XXIII. OS CAEPOPHOEUS. The bold right hand of the still youthful Carpophorus now directs with unerring blow the Noric hunting-spears. He carried two steers on his shoulder with ease ; to him suc- cumbed the bubalus ^ and the bison. Eleeing from him, the lion fell headlong among the darts of others.^ Gro now, im- patient crowd, and complain of the tardy delay to which, you are exposed. The Doric spears, with aim unerring, bore The gallant arm of youthful Carpophore : Well might two soft-neck'd steers resign the field ; To him the buffalo and bison yield. The lion fled ; but headlong rush'd a prey. Fly, madding mob, and chasten dull delay. Elphinston, XXIY. ON THE EXHIBITION OF A SEA-FIGHT. Whoever thou mayst be, who art here a lately arrived spectator from distant lands, upon whom for the £rst time has shone the vision of the sacred show, — that the goddess of naval warfare may not deceive thee with these ships, nor the water so like to the waves of the sea, — here, awhile since, was the dry land. Dost thou hesitate to believe it ? look on, whilst the waves fatigue the god of war. A short interval, and thou wdlt say, "Here but a while since was the sea." Thou, late spectator, from a distant shore, Who cora'st this day our festal shows t' explore, Be not deceived though naval battles here, And billows like the rolling main appear; The sea thou now behold'st was land of late i Believ'st thou not? A few short moments wait, Till cease the ships to war, the waves to flow, And thou shalt say, 'Twas sea not long ago. Amos, Gems of Latin Poetry, p. 36. ' It is uncertain what animal we are to understand by bubalus. Pliny, H. N. viii. J5, speaks of it as resembling a stag or a cow. Many suppose it to be the buffalo. « That is, the darts of the subsessores, or liers-in-wait ; those who were ready to support Carpophorus, if he should be in danger. ON THE PUBLIC SHOWS. 17 XXV. ON THE EXHIBITION OE THE STOET OE LEANDEE. That the wave in thy nocturnal journey should have spared thee, Leander, cease to wonder: it was Caesar's wave. XXY. B. ON LEANDEE. "While the daring Leander was seeking the sweet object of his love, and, exhausted, was just being ingulfed by the swelling waves, the unfortunate adventurer is said to have thus addressed the menacing surges : " Spare me on my way ; drown me on my return." ^ Leander, wonder not curl'd waves thee spare ; These inoffensive surges Caesar's are. When Tethys stopp'd love-sick Leander's breath, And some few drops would hurry him to death, The poor wretch begg'd : O waft me safe to ground ; When I have seen my dear, let me be drown'd. Pecke. XXYI. ON A SWIMMINe EXHIBITION. The gentle band of Nereids sported throughout the sea, and adorned the yielding waves with many an antic. There was the trident threatening with its barbs, the anchor with its curved prong: we thought that we looked sometimes on an oar, sometimes on a ship ; that the constellation of the Laconian twins,^ welcome to sailors, was shining, and that wide-spread- ing sails were clearly swelling before us. Who invented such arts in the liquid waves ? Thetis either taught these gambols, or learned them.^ The docile crew of wat'ry nymphs did vie To paint the waves with their vivacity. A threatening trident, anchor, scalding oar, A stately ship, we beheld from the shore ; Castor and Pollux, the Pilot's delight, And tumid sailcloths, gratified our sight. To whose invention should we this refer ? Did Thetis instruct us, or we teach her ? Peeke. ' Probably this Epigram is not genuine. It seems made up from B. xiv. Ep. 181. * Sidus Laconum, i. e. the constellation of Castor and Pollux, so called because their mother Leda was a Lacedaemonian. 3 The meaning is, she either learned them of Caesar, or taught them to him. 18 MAETIAL XXYII. ON CAEPOPHOETJS. Had the ages of yore, Caesar, given birth to Carpophorus, [barbarian lands would not have boasted of their monsters].* Marathon would not have feared the bull, the woods of Nemea the lion, Arcadia the Msenalian boar. Had Carpophorus armed his hands, one deadly stroke would have sufficed for the hydra ; by him would the whole of the Chimaera have been stricken down at once. He would have yoked together the fire-breathing bulls without the assistance of the Colchian princess ; he could have conquered either monster of Pasi- phae. Could the fable of the marine prodigy be revived, he alone would release Hesione and Andromeda. Let all the glories of the praise bestowed on Hercules be counted up ; it is more to have subdued twenty animals at one time.^ If former ages had Carpophorus known, Beside himself there would have needed none The monsters through the world to have subdued ; Being in truth with all that might endued Which to the fab'lous heroes gave a name, Raised Jason's, Perseus', Meleager's fame. Theseus for th' Minotaur had ne'er been crown'd ; For the Nemean lion Hercules renown'd ; The Hydra which so oft renew' d the fight, At first assault he would have slain outright ; Chimaera, of such various figures formed, His powerful hand would all at once have storm'd ; The bulls, which from their nostrils breathed a flame, Without a charm, his courage knew to tame : Hesione's devouring ore to quail, Andromeda to rescue from the whale. Let poets then their specious lies relate, How Jove, a matchless hero to create. Two nights did turn to one ; to him allow A term of life twelve labours to go through ; Carpoph'rus' glory yet does his excel, By whom in one day twenty monsters fell. Anon. 1695, ^ Ver. 2 is entirely corrupt, although the sense, as given in the text, is manifestly that intended by the author. 2 The meaning is, there were only twelve labours of Hercules, whereas Carpophorus slew twenty animals on the same occasion. ON THE PUBLIC SHOWS. 19 XXYIII. ON THE EXHIBITION OF A SEA-FIOHT. The task of Augustus had been to embattle fleets, and to arouse the waves with the sound of the naval trumpet. How inferior is this to what our Caesar accomplishes ! Thetis and Galatea have beheld in the waves wild animals previously un- known to them. Triton has seen chariots glowing along the foaming ocean course,' and thought the steeds of his master ^ were passing before him ; and Nereus, while he was prepar- ing fierce contests with bold vessels, shrunk from going on foot through the liquid ways.^ Whatever is seen in the circus and the amphitheatre, the rich lake of Csesar has shown to thee. Let T'ucinus, and the ponds of the dire Nero, be vaunted no more ; and let ages to come remember but this one sea-fight. The palm of glory to Augustus yield, For framing sea into a pitched field. How then may Csesar triumph ! Such beasts are • Guests to the waves as sea-queen Thetis scare. Swift chariots track the main, at whose approach Triton cried out — Here comes King Neptune's coach : "Whilst Nereus for the skirmishes provides, And a whale's back victoriously bestrides. What Caesar's pleasure, shall the Cirque command ; The floods react, as mimics to the land. On Claudius', Nero's lake, let scorn reflect ! Domitian's shows merit entire respect. Pecke. T' embattle fleets exalts Augustus' reign. And with the naval trump to rouse the main : Yet what is his to our Augustus' praise ? Or what the ancient to the modern days ? Thetis and Galatea stared to own Such savages as they had never known. Triton beheld, nor to behold abhorr'd, T^h^ steeds he thought the coursers of his lord ; He saw with glee the flying axle glow, Though cover' d with the dust of spray below : For, when to furious fight a Nereus strains. He scorns on foot to scour the liquid plains, ^ In aquoreo pulvere. By pidvis most commentators suppose that the spume of the sea is meant, catachrestice. 2 Domini, i. e. Neptune. 3 That is, he chose a chariot drawn by sea-liorses. c 2 20 MAETIAL Whate'er the Cirque or Theatre surveys, To bless the eyes impartial water plays ; Absorb'd the Fucine in the Marsian land, The pools of Nero duly still shall stand. Sunk every scene that wondrous waves bestow. This single sea-fight shall the ages know. Elphimton. XXIX. OS PRISCUS Al^D VEEIIS. While Yerus and Priscus were prolonging the combat, and the valour of each had been for a long time equal, quarter for the combatants was demanded with great clam- our. But Caesar obeyed his own law. The law was to fight with a stated reward in view, till by his thumb one of the pair proclaimed himself vanquished :^ but, as was allowed, he frequently gave them dishes and gifts.^ An end, however, was found for the well-matched contest : equal they fought, equal they resigned. Caesar sent wands to each,^ to each the meed of victory. Such was the reward that adroit valour received. Under no other prince save thee, Caesar, has this ever happened, that, when two fought with each other, both were victors. "^Vhen Priscus, Verus, did prolong their fight, Characterized by Mars with equal spite, For their discharge a joint consent applied Itself to Caesar ; by whom 't was denied. It was the fashion so long to contend Till the vanquish'd made signs the fight should end : And to detain the people to the last, Gifts were provided, and a slight repast. Even wounds the sword-players did engrave ; They fought alike ; or equal scores did leave. Caesar acquitted both, gave both the palm : Thus prowess for her cure acquired a balm. ' Ad digitum concurrere. There has been much doubt about the sense of these words. Ramiresias supposes that the gladiators were to hght till one of them, sublato digito, by holding up his thumb or finger, acknowledged himself conquered. See note on Quint, viu, 5, 20, BohrCs CI. Library. '^ It was the custom to distribute dishes of various kinds of food to the combatants, to reinvigorate them to continue the contest ; and to the peo- ple, to keep them quiet till its conclusion. ^ Misit ulrisque rudes. This rudis or wand was the sign of their acquit- tal from all further service as gladiators. See Hor. i. Ep. 1, 2, «&c. OT^ THE PUBLIC SHOWS. 21 Before your reign, Csesar, who thought to see, When champions fight, that both should victors be ? Peche. XXX. ON A HIND AND DOGS. A hunted hind, as she was fleeing from swift Molossian hounds, and was by various turns contriving a lingering pro- traction of the fatal moment, halted before Caesar's feet, sup- pliant and in pleading guise ; and the hounds touched not their prey ^ Such was the boon which she derived from recognising the emperor. Csesar is a divinity : sacred, sacred is his power • believe it ; the beasts of the field have not learned to lie. The panting doe flung out the headlong hounds, By various doublings on the various grounds. Spent at th' imperial feet the suppliant stood ; Her fell pursuers, awed, no more pursued. 'Mid foes, now friends, surrounding safety bless'd ; Instinctive piety that power confess' d. Ccesarean power let miscreants blind deny : Believe we those who have not learn'd to lie. Elpkinston. XXXI. ON AN UNEQUAL COMBAT. To yield to superior force is the second honour. That is an insupportable victory, which an inferior enemy gains. To bow to nobler foes is almost fame ; The basely-yielded palm alone is shame. W. S. B. XXXli. TO CiESAE. Be indulgent to impromptus : he does not deserve to dis- please, whose haste, Csesar, was to please thee. My haste, though faulty, ought thee to appease : Pardon his haste, who hasted thee to please. Anon. 1695. XXXIII. AGAINST DOMITIAN. Eace of the Elavil, how much has the third of thy nam.e taKen from thee ! It had been almost as well not to have had the other two.^ How much thy third has wrong'd thee, Flavian race ! 'T were better ne'er to have bred the previous brace. Anon. ^ A line is here wanting in the original. 2 So. Vespasian and Titus. As this Epigram is written against Domi- tian, it appears either not to be Martial's, or to be out of place here. The only authority for ascribing it to Martial is a scholiast on Juvenal, iv. 38. EPIGRAMS. BOOK I. TO THE EEADEE. I TRUST that, in these little books of mine, I have observed such self-control, that whoever forms a fair judgment from his own mind can make no complaint of them, since they indulge their sportive fancies without violating the respect due even to persons of the humblest station ; a respect which was so far disregarded by the authors of antiquity, that they made free use, not only of real, but of great names. Eor me, let fame be held in less estimation, and let such talent be the last thing commended in me. Let the ill-natured interpreter, too, keep himself from meddling with the simple meaning of my jests, and not write my epigrams for me.^ He acts dishonourably who exercises per- verse ingenuity on another man's book. For the free plain- ness of expression, that is, for the language of epigram, I would apologize, if I were introducing the practice ; but it is thus that Catullus writes, and Marsus, and Pedo, and Gretu- licus, and every one whose writings are read through. If any assumes to be so scrupulously nice, however, that it is not allowable to address him, in a single page, in plain language, he may confine himself to this address, or rather to the title of the book. Epigrams are written for those who are accus- tomed to be spectators at the games of Flora. Let not Cato enter my theatre ; or, if he do enter, let him look on. It appears to me that I shall do only what I have a right to do, if I close my address with the following verses : — ^ Let him not make them his own, by the false interpretation which he puts upon them. BOOK I.] EPIGEAMS. 23 TO CATO. Since you knew the lascivious nature of the rites of sportive iFlora, as well as the dissoluteness of the games, and the license of the populace, why, stern Cato, did you enter the theatre ? Did you come in only that you might go out again ? When thou didst know the merry feast Of jocund Flora was at best, Our solemn sports, how loosely free And debonau' the vulgar be, Strict Cato, why dost thou intrude Into the seated multitude ? Was it thy frolic here alone Only to enter and begone ? Fletcher. When thou the wanton rites of Flora's feast Didst know, the people's license then express'd, Why cam'st thou in, sour Cato, 'mong the rout ? Didst enter only that thou might' st go out ? Anon. 1695. Why dost thou come, great censor of the age, To see the loose diversions of the stage ? With awful countenance and brow severe, What in the name of goodness dost thou here ? See the mix'd crowd ! how giddy, lewd, and vain ! Didst thou come in but to go out again ? Spectator, No. 446. I. TO THE EEADEE. The man whom you are reading is the very man that you want, — Martial, known over the whole world for his humorous books of epigrams ; to whom, studious reader, you have accorded such honours, while he is alive and has a sense of them, as few poets receive after their death. This whom thou read'st is he by thee required, — Martial, through all the world famed and desired For sharpest books of epigrams, on whom (Ingenious reader) living, without tomb, Thou hast bestow'd that high and glorious wreath, Which seldom poets after death receive. Fletcher. 24 ma^etial's He unto whom thou art so partial, O reader, is the well-known Martial, The epigrammatist : while living, Give him the fame thou wouldst be giving So shall he hear, and feel, and know it : Post-obits rarely reach a poet. Byron. II. TO THE HEADER; SHOWHSTG WHERE THE AUTHOR' S BOOKS MAT BE PURCHASED. You who are anxious that my books should be with you everywhere, and desire to have them as companions on a long journey, buy a copy of which the parchment leaves are com- pressed into a small compass.^ Bestow book-cases upon large volumes ; one hand will hold me. But that you may not be ignorant where I am to be bought, and wander in un- certainty over the whole town, you shall, under my guidance, be sure of obtaining me. Seek Secundus, the freedman of the learned Lucensis, behind the Temple of Peace and the Forum of Pallas. Where you go, if you 'd have a few books to befriend you, And on a long journey have one to attend you. Buy those whose short sides a small skin does go over, — As for great ones, lock up, — me your one hand will cover. And if you can be struck with such foibles as these, I hope that my trifles their readers will please. But that you may know where I 'm sold, and may n't stray All over the city, I '11 show you the way : Ask for Wilkie's fam'd shop, near the church of St Paul, Where this book may be had by whoever will call. Rev. Mr Scott, 1773. "Whoe'er thou be, that wouldst my Muse convey. The light companion of the lengthen'd way; Purchase the petty skin that crams her strains : A case huge bodies, her a hand contains. But, lest thou doubt where she displays her pride, And roam the town, accept herself thy guide. The learn'd Lucensian's libertine thou 'It find The Fane of Peace and Pallas' Square behind. Elphimton. III. THE AUTHOR TO HIS BOOK. Thou preferrest, little book, to dwell in the shops in the ' That is, a copy with small pages ; a small copy. «4giki.. BOOK I.] EPIGEAMS. 25 Argiletum,^ though my book-case has plenty of room for thee. Thou art ignorant, alas ! thou art ignorant of the fastidiousness of Eome, the mistress of the world ; the sons of Mars, believe me, are much too critical. Nowhere are there louder sneers ; young men and old, and even boys, have the nose of the rhinoceros.^ After thou hast heard a loud "Bravo!" and art expecting kisses, thou wilt go, tossed to the skies, from the jerked toga.^ Tet, that thou mayst not so often suffer the corrections of thy master, and that his relentless pen may not so often mark thy vagaries, thou de- sirest, frolicsome little book, to fly through the air of heaven. Gro, fly ; but thou wouldst have been safer at home. Among the stationers th' hadst rather be, My little book, though my shelf 's void for thee : Alas ! thou know'st not Madam Rome's disdain ; Great Mars's sons are of a fiery brain ; Gibes nowhere are more free ; young men, and old, And boys, their nose up in derision hold : While thou shalt hear thy praise, and kisses have, Thou shalt be toss'd from th' bosom to the grave. But thou, for fear thou feel'st thy master's hand, And thy loose sport should by his reed be scann'd, (Lascivious book !) thou seek'st to mount abroad : Go, fly ; but home were yet thy safer road. Fletcher. Why in Pall-mall with Dodsley will you dwell, When in my desk you still might lodge so well? Little you know, how nice the taste in town : The meanest of mankind are critics grown. Sneerers abound ; the beau, the man in years. The boy at school, the scoff of Bentley wears. They cry, " Extremely fine ! " You gorge the lie ; But soon in rockets to the stars shall fly. You, who castration dread, who hate my strokes, And grave correction of your idle jokes. On wanton wing now sigh abroad to roam : Away :— but you might safer be at home. Hay. In the booksellers' windows you long to be shown, Little book, though my desk be entirely your own. ^ An open place, or square, in Rome, where tradesmen had shops. 2 Have great powers of ridicule, which the Romans often expressed by turning up or wrinkling the nose. ^ People will take thee into their lap, and then jerk thee out of it, as if thoii wast tossed in a blanket. 26 maetial's You know not our critics have nice judging eyes, And, believe me, the town is prodigiously wise. Men are loud both their censure and scorn to disclose ; Young and old, even children, all turn up their nose. While you fondly expect on Fame's pinions to rise, 'T is a blanket will toss you, my book, to the skies. But you, that your master may cease to condemn. Nor your sallies be quench'd any more by his phlegm, Are ambitious to leave me, and largely to roam. Go, fly ; — ^but you might have been safer at home. Anon. IV. TO C^SAE. If you should chance, Caesar, to light upon my books, lay aside that look which awes the w^orld. Even your triumphs have been accustomed to endure jests,^ nor is it any shame to a general to be a subject for witticisms. Eead my verses, I pray you, with that brow with w4iich you behold Thymele ^ and Latinus ^ the buffoon. The censorship ^ may tolerate innocent jokes : my page indulges in freedoms, but my life is pure. Caesar, whene'er you take in hand my books, Awe of the world ! lay by your sterner looks. Your very triumphs mirth used to admit, Though you yourself were subject of the wit. With such a face look on my verses, pray, As you 'd an antick dance or mimick play. Let not these harmless sports your censure taste : My lines are wanton, but my life is chaste. Old MS. inth Cent. V. THE EMPEEOE's EEPLT. I give you a sea-fight, and you give me epigrams : you wish, I suppose, Marcus, to be set afloat with your book. I give thee sea-fights, thou a book giv'st me : Wouldst have me set afloat both it and thee ? L. H. S. VI. ON A LION or CJESAll's THAT SPAEED A HAEE. While through the air of heaven the eagle was carrying ' In allusion to the jests which the soldiers threw out on their generals, •while they were riding in the triumphal procession. ' A female dancer. 3 A dancer in pantomine ; a sort of harlequin. * Alluding to Domitian having made himself perpetual censor. BOOK T.] EPTGEAMS. 27 the youthji the burden unhurt clung to its anxious talons. From Caesar's lions their own prey now succeeds in obtaining mercy, and the hare plays safe in their huge jaws. Which miracle do you think the greater ? The author of each is a supreme being : the one is the work of Caesar ; the other,^ of Jove. "While with the stripling's cries the welkin rung, The prize, unhurt, in trembling talons hung. Now the imperial whelps compress no prey : Safe in the lion's jaws the leverets play. Say, whether gives thy wonder more to rove, The power of Csesar, or the pounce of Jove ? ElpMnston. YII. TO MAXIMTJS. The dove, the delight of my friend Stella,^ — even with Verona'^ listening will I say it, — has surpassed, Maximus, the sparrow of Catullus. By so much is my Stella greater than your Catullus, as a dove is greater than a sparrow. The biller, that my Stella sings (I care not, though Verona hear). We, Maximus, must own, outsprings The chirper to Catullus dear. My songster soars as far beyond The genius you so justly love CBe counted whether bird more fond), As less the sparrow than the dove. Mphinston. VIII. TO DECIANUS. In that you so far only follow the opinions of the great Thrasea and Cato of consummate virtue, that you still wish to preserve your life, and do not with bared breast rush upon drawn swords, you do, Decianus, what I should wish you to do. I do not approve of a man who purchases fame with life- blood, easy to be shed : I like him who can be praised with- out dying to obtain it. ' Ganymede. 2 Comp. Eps. 14, 22. ^ A poet of Patavium, who -wrote an elegy on the dove of his mistress lanthis. See B. vi. Ep. 21 ; B. vii. Ep. 13. 4 The birth-place of Catullus. 28 maetial's That you great Psetus' maxims so approve, Or gallant Gate's, as still life to love, Nor run on naked swords with bared breast, You do, my Decian, what 1 think is best. I like no squanderers of life for fame : Give me the man that living makes a name ! Old MS. llth Century. Consummate Cato's and great Thrasea's strain, As far as prudence goes, thou dost maintain, And not thy breast on naked swords dost run ; What men judge best, that, Decian, thou hast done. He 's not approved, who cheaply dies for fame. But, without death, who gets a glorious name. Anon. 1695. That you, like Thrasea, or like Cato, great, Pursue their maxims, but decline their fate ; Nor rashly point the dagger to your heart ; More to my ^dsh you act a Roman's part. I like not him, who fame by death retrieves ; Give me the man who merits praise, and lives. Hay. IX. TO COTTA. Ton wish to appear, Cotta, a pretty man and a great man at one and the same time : but he who is a pretty man, Cotta, is a very small man. A pretty and a great man thou 'dst be deem'd : But prettiness is httleness esteem'd. Anon. 1695, X. OK aEMELLTJS AND MAEOTaLLA. Gemellus is seeking the hand of Maronilla, and is earnest, and lays siege to her, and beseeches her, and makes presents to her. Is she then so pretty ? Nay ; nothing can be more ugly. What then is the great object and attraction in her ? — Her cough. Gemellus seeks old Maronili to wed. Desires it much, is instant, prays, and fees. Is she so fair ? — Nought 's more ill-favoured. What then provokes ? — Oh, she doth cough and wheeze ! Fletcher. Curmudgeon the rich widow courts ; Nor lovely she, nor made for sports. 'T is to Curmudgeon charm enough That she has got a church-yard cough. Dr Uoadley. BOOK 1.] EPI&EAMS. 29 To Lady Mary, Bellair makes addresses ; Presents he makes ; sighs, presses, and professes. Is she so fair ? — No lady so ill off. TVTiat is so captivating then ?— Her cough. Bay. Strephon most fierce besieges Cloe, A nymph not over young nor showy. What then can Strephon's love provoke ? — A charming paralytic stroke. Westminster Review, Apr. 1853. XI. TO SEXTILIAIfUS. Seeing that there are given to a knight twice five pieces,* wherefore is twice ten the amount which you spend by your- self, Sextilianus, in drink? Long since would the warm water have failed the attendants who carried it, had you not, Sextilianus, been drinking your wine unmixed.^ When twice five copper coins to a knight are allotted, With twice ten must Sextilian alone be besotted ? Wave the tepid had fail'd the meek ministers sure. If SextiHan's good nature had scrupled the pure. Elphiiiston. XII. OS EEGITLTJS. Where the road runs to the towers of the cool Tivoli, sa- cred to Hercules, and the hoary Albula ^ smokes with sulphu- reous waters, a milestone, the fourth from the neighbouring city, points out a country retreat, and a hallowed grove, and a domain well beloved of the Muses. Here a rude portico used to afford cool shade in summer ; a portico, ah ! how nearly the desperate cause of an unheard-of calamity: for suddenly it fell in ruins, after Eegulus had just been conveyed in a carriage and pair from under its high fabric. Truly Dame Fortune feared our complaints, as she would have been unable to withstand so great odium. Now even our loss delights us ; so beneficial is the impression which the very danger pro- duces ; since, while standing, the edifice could not have proved to us the existence of the gods. ^ Ten sesterces, the usual sporiula, or donation from the emperor. 2 The Romans used to drink their wine mixed with warm water. 3 A plain near TivoU. * See Addison, Letter irom Italy : — • And hoary Albula's infected tide O'er the warm bed of smoking sulphur glide. 30 maetial's Near Hercules' fane, and Tibur's cooling streams, Where Alba vapours forth pale sulphurous streams, Meadows and lands are seen, a sacred grove, Four miles from Rome, the Muses' care and love : A rude old portico, near these high-raised, For grateful shade in heats of summer praised, A monstrous fact committed had well nigh ; As Regulus in 's chariot passed by, The ponderous fabric rush'd unto the ground. And him and 's train did only not confound ; But Fortune did our plaints and ciu'ses fear, Ivor equal was the odious crime to bear. The ruin pleases now ; which did not prove, While yet it stood, what care the gods above Have of good men, — their guardianship and love. Amn. 1695. On Tibur's road, to where Alcides towers. And hoary Anio smoking sulphiu' pours ; "Where laugh the lawns, and groves to Muses dear, And the fourth stone bespeaks Augusta near. An antique porch prolong'd the summer shade : "What a new deed her dotage half essay'd ! Reeling, herself she threw with instant crash, "Where Regulus scarce pass'd in his calash. Sly Fortune started, for herself aware ; Nor could the overwhelming odium bear. Thus ruins ravish us, and dangers teach : - Still-standing piles could no protection preach. Elphinsion. XIII. OF AEEIA AKD P^TUS. WTaen the chaste Arria handed to her Psetus tlie sword which she had with her own hand drawn forth from her heart, " If you believe me," said she, " the wound which I have made gives me no pain ; but it is that which you will make, Psetus, that pains me." WTien Arria to her Paetus gave the sword. With which her chaste and faithful breast she 'd gored, " Trust me," said she, " that I myself have slain I do not grieve ; 't is thy death gives me pain." Anon. 1695. "When the chaste Arria drew the reeking sword From her own breast, and gave it to her lord, " This wound," she said, " believe me, I despise ; I feel the dagger by which Pcetus dies." Hay. ^ BOOK I.] EPIGEAMS. 31 When the chaste Arria gave the reeking sword, Drawn from her bowels, to her honour'd lord, " Paetus," she cried, " for this I do not grieve. But for the wound that Paetus must receive." Rev. Mr Scott, 1773. Thus to her much-loved virtuous lord, With tender grief oppress'd, Chaste Arria said, and gave the sword Drawn reeking from her breast : " Believe me, Paetus, void of pain I 've found the pointed steel ; But, oh ! the wound that you '11 sustain, That wound I doubly feel." Bouquet, Dublin, 1784. When from her breast chaste Arria snatch' d the sword. And gave the deathful weapon to her lord, " My wound," she said, " believe me, does not smart ; But thine alone, my Paetus, pains my heart." Melmoth. When Arria to her Paetus gave the steel Which from her bleeding side did newly part, " For my own wound," she said, " no pain I feel ; And yet thy wound will stab me to the heart." Sedley. When Arria, from her wounded side, To Paetus gave the reeking steel, " I feel not what I 've done," she cried ; — " What Paetus is to do, I feel." Dr Hoadley. XIV. TO DOMITIAN. The pastimes, Caesar, the sports and the play of the lions, we have seen : your arena affords you the additional sight of the captured hare returning often in safety from the kindly tooth, and running at large through the open jaws. Whence is it that the greedy lion can spare his captured prey ? He is said to be yours : thence it is that he can show mercy. Thy lions, mighty Caesar, shed the glee On serried nations, they but mean for thee. When with the gentle tooth and generous jaws The captive wantons, conscious of applause. Whence has the savage learn'd his prey to spare? Thine, Caesar, is the lion j thine the hare. Eljphinston. 32 martial' s XV. TO JULIUS. Oh ! thou who art regarded by me, Julius, as second to none of my companions, if well-tried friendship and long- standing ties are worth anything, already nearly a sixtieth consul is pressing upon thee, and thy life numbers but a few more uncertain days. JSTot wisely wouldst thou defer the en- joyment which thou seest may be denied thee, or consider the past alone as thine own. Cares and linked chains of dis- aster are in store ; joys abide not, but take flight with wing- ed speed. Seize them with either hand, and with thy full grasp ; even thus they will oft-times pass away and glide from thy closest embrace. 'T is not, believe me, a wise man's part to say, " I will live." To-morrow's life is too late : live to-day. Thou, whom (if faith or honour recommends A friend) I rank amongst my dearest friends, Remember, you are now almost threescore ; Few days of life remain, if any more. Defer not, what no future time insures : And only what is past, esteem that yours. Successive cares and trouble for you stay ; Pleasure not so ; it nimbly fleets away. Then seize it fast ; embrace it ere it flies ; In the embrace it vanishes and dies. " I '11 live to-morrow," will a wise man say ? To-morrow is too late, then live to-day. Hay. Julius, my friend, — for well thy worth may claim, And long-tried faith, that highly honour'd name, — The sixtieth winter wreaths with grey thy brows, And fewer grow the days that Fate allows. Then reckon not on years thou ne'er mayst see Nor be the past alone enjoy'd by thee. For cares await thee and fell sorrow's sting, While Pleasure flies, for ever on the wing. Then seize her, if thou canst, with both thy hands, And firmlv, for she 'scapes the tightest bands. No sage will e'er " I '11 live to-morrow " say : To-morrow is too late : live thou to-day. W. S. B. XVI. TO AVITUS. Of the epigrams which you read here, some are good, some BOOK I.] EPIGEAMS. 33 middling, many bad : a book, Avitus, cannot be made in any other way. Some good, and some so-so, most of them naught ! Well, if no worse, the book may still be bought. Anon. Some things are good, indifferent some, some naught, You read : a book can't otherwise be wrote. Anon. 1695. Here some good things, some middling, more bad, you will see : Else a book, my Avitus, it never could be. Elphinston. XYII. TO TITUS. Titus urges me to go to the Bar, and often tells me, " The gains are large." The gains of the husbandman, Titus, are likewise large.^ Thou urgest me to plead ; dost oft repeat, " How great it is a wrong cause to defeat ! " That which the ploughman does is also great. Anon. 1695. XVIII. TO TUCCA, ON HIS PAESTMOFT. "What pleasure can it give you, Tucca, to mix with old Palernian wine new wine stored up in Vatican casks ? What vast amount of good has the most worthless of wine done you ? or what amount of evil has the best wine done you ? As for us, it is a small matter ; but to murder Falernian, and to put poisonous wine in a Campanian cask, is an atrocity. Tour guests may possibly have deserved to perish : a wine-jar of such value has not deserved to die. Tucca, what strange delight is this of thine, To mix the noblest with the vilest wine ? What so great good, from bad, didst e'er receive ? Or of what good did thee the good bereave ? Our throats to cut may no great matter be ; To slay Falernian is a high degree 'Of murder ; rich Campanian wine t' abuse, r th' generous grape rank poison to infuse. Thy guests may possibly deserve their bane ; Such precious liquor cannot to be slain. Anon. 1695. 1 Martial intimates that he should like the Bar as little as he likes agriculture. 34 maetial's XIX. TO ^LIA. If I remember right, JSlia, you had four teeth ; a cough displaced two, another two more. You can now cough with- out anxiety all the day long. A third cough can find no- thing to do in your mouth. JEUa just four teeth had, if I told right ; ' One cough ejected two, another two : Now she may cough securely day and night ; There 's nothing left for the third cough to do. FletcUr. When Gammer Gurton first I knew, Four teeth in all she reckon'd : Comes a damn'd cough and whips out two, And t' other two a second. Courage, old Dame, and never fear The third whene'er it comes ; Give me hut t' other jug of beer, And I '11 insure your gums. Tom Brown. XX. TO CiECTLIANTJS. Tell me, what madness is this ? "While a whole crowd of invited guests is looking on, you alone, Csecilianus, devour the truffles. What shall I imprecate on you worthy of so large a stomach and throat ? That you may eat a truffle such as Claudius ate. What brutishness is this ? When friends you treat, They looking on, alone you mushrooms eat ; What on such gluttony shall I implore ? May'st Claudius' mushrooms eat, and ne'er eat more ! Anon. 1695. XXI. ON POESENA AND MTJCIUS SOJBVOLA. When the hand that aimed at the king mistook for him his secretary, it thrust itself to perish into the sacred fire ; but the generous foe could not endure so cruel a sight, and bade the hero, snatched from the flame, to be set free. The hand which, despising the fire. Mucins dared to burn, Porsena could not bear to look on. G-reater was the fame and glory of that right hand from being deceived ; had it not missed its aim, it had accomplished less. BOOK I.] EPIGEAMS. 35 "When that right hand which aim'd a royal blow Spent on a worthless slave its baffled ire, It rush'd into the flames ; but e'en the foe Admiring snatch'd it from the sacred fire. The pangs that fearless Scaevola sustain'd, Porsenna's eye endured not to behold : Had it not err'd, that hand had never gain'd So great a fame, or done a deed so bold. Hodgson. The hand, which struck the servant for the king, Did in the fire itself a victim fling. The dreadful wonder moved the pious foe : He snatch'd the man from flames, and let him go. Mucins unmoved the hand to burn decreed ; Porsena could not view the tragic deed. That hand by failing gain'd a nobler fame ; And less had done, had it not miss'd its aim. Hay. XXII. TO A HAEE. Why, silly hare, are you fleeing from the fierce jaws of the lion novr grown tame ? They have not learned to crush such tiny animals. Those talons, which you fear, are reserved for mighty necks, nor does a thirst so great delight in so small a draught of blood. The hare is the prey of hounds ; it does not fill large mouths ; the Dacian boy should not fear Caesar. Why, gentle hare, the generous lion fly i* He has not learn'd to touch the tiny fry. For brawny necks the griding claw remains : Enormous thirst the petty draught disdains. Filling no jaw, thou fall'st to dogs a prey : Ne'er dread the Dacian boy that Caisar slay. XXIII. TO COTTA. You invite no one, Cotta, except those whom you meet at the bath ; and the bath alone supplies you with guests. I used to wonder why you had never asked me, Cotta ; I know now that my appearance in a state of nature was unpleasing in your eyes.^ Cotta, thou invitest none, but such with thee Are bathed, and baths provide thee company : * Compare B. iii. Ep. 50, 73; B. vii. Ep. 54. D 2 36 maetial's I wonder' d long how I escaped thy call, But now I see my naked truth spoil'd all. Fletcher. XXrV. TO DECIA5fTJS. You see yonder individual, Decianus, with locks uncombea, whose grave brow even you fear ; who talks incessantly of the Curii and Camilli, defenders of their country's liberties : do not trust his looks ; he was taken to wife but yesterday.^ Behold the man, with careless hair, Whose solemn supercilious air Inspires a Decian's self with awe, And so may well give others law ; MTh.o talks a Curius too, and whom A new Camillus worships Rome : He, Decian (such the faith of face !) Veil'd yesterday her new disgrace. Elphinston. XXV. TO FAUSTINUS. Issue at length your books to the public, Faustinus, and. give to the light the work elaborated by your accomplished mind, — a work such as neither the Cecropian city of Pandion would condemn, nor our old men pass by in silence. Do you hesitate to admit Fame, who is standing before your door ; and does it displease you to receive the reward of your la- bour ? Let the writings, destined to live after you, begin to live through your means. Glorj comes too late, when paid only to our ashes. At length, Faustinus, let the world obtain The polish'd pieces of thy learned brain, Which the Athenian schools would highly praise. And our old sages to the stars will raise. Dost doubt t' admit Fame standing at thy gate ? Thy labour's just reward to bear, dost hate ? That which will after, in thy time let live : Too late men praise unto our ashes give. Anon. 1695. Your book, Sir George, now give to public use ; From your rich fund the polish'd piece produce : Which will defy the Louvre's nicer laws ; And from our critics here command applause. ^ Muliebria passus est. BOOK I.] EPIGRAMS. 37 Fame at your portal waits ; the doox why barr'd ? Why loth to take your labour's just reward ? Let works live with you, which will long survive ; For honours after death too late arrive. B^ay, XXYI. TO SEXTILIANUS. Sextilianus, you drink as much as five rows of knights ' alone: you might intoxicate yourself with water, if ^'v^ so often drank as much. Nor is it the coin of those who sit near you alone that you consume in drink, but the money of those far removed from you, on the distant benches. This vintage has not been concerned vdth Pelignian presses, nor was this juice of the grape produced upon Tuscan heights ; but it is the glorious jar of the long-departed Opimius^ that is drained, and it is the Massic cellar that sends forth its black- ened casks. Gret dregs of Laletane wine from a tavern- keeper, Sextilianus, if you drink more than ten cups.^ In thee, the wine of five is sunk : With as much water, thou wert drunk. What for thy begging canst allege. From nearest knight, and farthest wedge ? Nor owns thy grape Pelignian press ; Or vine the hardy Tuscan's dress. Thy palate old Opimian asks ; From Massic cell the sable casks. From tavern fetch Laletan dreg. Above ten goblets if thou beg. Elnhinsion. XXVII. TO PROCILLTJS. Last night I had invited you — after some fifty glasses, I. suppose, had been despatched — to sup with me to-day. You immediately thought your fortune was made, and took note of my unsober words, with a precedent but too dangerous. I hate a boon companion whose memory is good, Procillus. To sup with me, to thee I did propound, But 't was when our full cups had oft gone round. 1 Seated on the benches allotted them in the theatre. See Ep. 11. 2 The vintage of b. c. 121, in which year L. Opimius was one of the consuls, was extremely celebrated, and is frequently mentioned by the Ro- man writers. * The number to which persons at feasts usually restricted themselves. 38 maetial's The thing thou straight concludest to be done, Merry and sober words counting all one. Th' example ?s dangerous at the highest rate ; A memorative drunkard all men hate. Anon. 1695. XXVIII. ON ACEEEA. "Whoever believes it is of yesterday's wine that Acerra smells, is mistaken : Acerra always drinks till morning. Who says with last night's wine Acerra stinks, Is much deceived : till day Acerra drinks. Wright. Acerra smells of last night's wine, you say. Don't wrong Acerra ; he topes on till day. Mphinston. XXIX. TO riDENTINUS. Eeport says that you, Fidentinus, recite my compositions in public as if they were your own. If you allow them to be called mine, I will send you my verses gratis ; if you wish them to be called yours, pray buy them, that they may be mine no longer. 'T is said my books thou dost abroad recite, As if my verses thou thyself didst write. Verses I '11 gratis send, let them be mine ; Otherwise buy them, that they may be thine. Anon. 1695. Fame has, my Fidentine, made loudly known That you recite my verses as your own. If mine they be, I '11 send them you for nought To make them yours, by you they must be bought. XXX. OK DIAULUS. Diaulus had been a surgeon, and is now an undertaker. He has begun to be useful to the sick in the only way that he could. Diaulus, late who, void of skill, Profess'd the healing art, Now acts, in league with Pluto still, The undertaker's part. , Bouqiietf Dublin, 1782. I BOOK I.] EPIGEAMS. 39 XXXI. TO APOLLO, ON ENCOLPTJS. Encolpus, the favourite of the centurion his master, con- secrates these, the whole of the locks from his head, to thee, Phoebus.^ When Pudens shall have gained the pleasing honour of the chief-centurionship, which he has so well merited, cut these long tresses close, Phoebus, as soon as possible, while the tender face is yet undisfigured with down, and while the flowing hair adorns the milk-white neck ; and, that both master and favourite may long enjoy thy gifts, make him early shorn, but late a man.^ To thee, Apollo, vows his beauteous hair Encolpus, minion of his master's care. " Soon as the brave centurion shall attain * The primipilar honours, mine be slain ! While yet my modest cheeks confess no down, While wavy ringlets snowy shoulders crown. That lord and slave may long thy gifts enjoy, Kind Phoebus, crop me soon ; but keep me long a boy." Elphinston. XXXII. TO SABIDIUS. I do not love thee, Sabidius, nor can I say why : I can only say this, I do not love thee. I love thee not, but why, I can't display I love thee not, is all that I can say. Anon, 1695. I love thee not, Sabidius ; ask you why ? I do not love thee, let that satisfy ! Wright. The following lines, in imitation of this epigram, were made by some Oxford wit, on Dr John Fell, Bishop of Oxford, who died in 1686 : I do not love thee, Doctor Fell ; The reason why I cannot tell. But this I 'm sure I know full well, I do not love thee, Doctor Fell. ^ Encolpus, a favourite of Aulus Pudens the centurion, had vowed his hair to Phoebus, in order that his master might soon be made chief cen- turion. Martial prays that they may both obtain what they desire. ' Extend his youth as long as possible. 40 MAETIAIi's XXXIII. OliT GELLIA. Gellia does not mourn for her deceased father, when she IS alone ; but if any one is present, obedient tears spring forth. He mourns not, G-ellia, who seeks to be praised ; he is the true mourner, who mourns without a witness. When all alone, your tears withstand ; In company, can floods command. Who mourns for fashion, bids us mark ; Who mourns indeed, mourns in the dark. Anon. Gellia ne'er mourns her father's loss, When no one 's by to see, But yet her soon commanded tears Flow in society : To weep for praise is but a feigned moan ; He grieves most truly, that does grieve alone. FktcJier. Her father dead ! Alone no grief she knows ; Th' obedient tear at every visit flows. No mourner he, who must with praise be fee'd ! But he who mourns in secret, mourns indeed ! Hay. GelHa alone, alas ! can never weep. Though her fond father perish'd in the deep ; With company the tempest all appears, And beauteous Gellia 's e'en dissolved in tears. Through public grief though GelHa aims at praise, 'T is private sorrow which must merit raise. Gentleman's Magazine, 1736. XXXIV. TO LESBIA. You always take your pleasure, Lesbia, with doors un- guarded and open, nor are you at any pains to conceal your amusements. It is more the spectator, than the accomplice in your doings, that pleases you, nor are any pleasures grate- ful to your taste if they be secret. Tet the common courte- san excludes every witness by curtain and by bolt, and few are the chinks in a suburban brothel. Learn something at least of modesty from Chione, or from Alis : even the monu- mental edifices of the dead aflTord hiding-places for abandoned harlots. Does my censure seem too harsh ? I do not ex- hort you to be chaste, Lesbia, but not to be caught. I BOOK I.] EPiaEAMS. 41 Lesbia, thou sinn'st still with an unpinn'd door And open, and ne'er cloak' st thy pleasure o'er ; Thy peepers more than active friends delight, Nor are thy joys in kind, if out of sight- But yet the common wench, with veil and key, Strives to expel the witness far away ; No chink doth in a brothel-house appear : Of Alls learn, or Chione, this care. They hide such filthiness ; but, Lesbia, see If this my censure seem too hard to be : I do n't forbid thee to employ thy prime, — But to be taken Lesbia, there 's the crime. Fletcher. XXXY. TO COESTELITJS. Tou complain, Cornelius, that the verses which I compose are little remarkable for their reserve, and not such as a mas- ter can read out in his school ; but such eiFusions, as in the case of man and wife, cannot please without some spice of pleasantry in them. "What if you were to bid me write a hymeneal song in words not suited to hymeneal occasions ? Who enjoins the use of attire at the Floral games, and im- poses on the courtesan the reserve of the matron ? This law has been allowed to frolicsome verses, that without tickling the fancy they cannot please. Lay aside, therefore, your severe look, I beseech you, and spare my jokes and gaiety, and do not desire to mutilate my compositions. Nothing is more disgusting than Priapus become a priest of Cybele. My verses are too loose, you say : Not such as a school-master may Read to 's boys. But such books as these (Like husbands with their wives) do n't please Without the prick of wantonness. Bid mee as well sing nuptials In words befitting funerals ! Who would at Floral games permit Whores clad in modest robes to sit ? This law to epigrams allow' d, They may with lustfull itch go proud. Therefore, severity, away ! Indulge my sportive Muse, 1 pray ? Nor seek to geld my wanton books : A gelt Priapus ugly looks. Old MS. Hlh Cent. 42 MAETIAL'S That I rhyme unchasten'd wi*ite, Which a master may n't recite ; That I thus my muse deny To the guiltless funny fry ; Thou, Cornelius, dost decree : But shalt own thou injurest me. Witty lays, like man and wife, Must not always be at strife ; And, like them, but please by half, If they do not often laugb. Would' st thou bid Thalassus speak, Not in Latin, but in Greek ? Who can clothe the Floral game ? Who allows a harlot shame ? Such the rule of jocund strains : Wit no point, unsmiling, gains. Count castration death by law : Let the God of Gardens awe. What a paltry god were he, Dubb'd a sage of Cybele ! Elphimton. XXXTI. TO THE BROTHEES LUCAl^US A2fD TULLIJS. If, Lucanus, to thee, or if to thee, Tullus, had been offered such fates as the Laconian children of Leda enjoy, there would have been this noble struggle of affection in both of you, that each would have wished to die first in place of his bro- ther ; and he who should have first descended to the nether realms of shade would have said, " Live, brother, thine own term of days ; live also mine." Fraternal love in such strong currents runs, That, were your fate like that of Leda's sons, This were the single, but the generous, strife, Which for the other first should yield his life : He first would cry, who first should breath resign. Live thou, dear brother, both thy days and mine. Hay. XXXYII. TO BASSUS. You deposit your excretions, without any sense of shame, into an unfortunate vessel of gold, while you drink out of glass. The former operation, consequently, is the more expensive. For nameless use, thou blushless usest gold ; But quafi"'st in glass ; frugality befool'd! Mphinstm. BOOK I.] EPIGEAMS. 43 XXXVIII. TO riDENTlNUS. The book whicli you are reading aloud is mine, Fidentinus ; but, while you read it so badly, it begins to be yours. The book thou read'st is mine, my Fidentine ; But now thou read'st so ill, 't is surely thine. Fletcher. The verses, friend, which thou hast read, are mine ; But, as thou read'st them, they may pass for thine. Bouquet. With faulty accents, and so vile a tone, You quote my lines, I took them for your own. Anoti. XXXIX. TO DECIANUS. If there be any man fit to be numbered among one's few choice friends, a man such as the honesty of past times and ancient renown would readily acknowledge ; if any man thoroughly imbued with the accomplishments of the Athenian and Latin Minervas, and exemplary for true integrity ; if there be any man who cherishes what is right, and admires what is honourable, and asks nothing of the gods but what all may hear ; if there be any man sustained by the strength of a great mind, may I die, if that man is not Decianus. Is there t' enroll among the friendly few, Whose names pure faith and ancient fame renew ? Is there, enrich' d with virtue's honest store. Deep versed in Latian and Athenian lore ? Is there who right maintains and truth pursues, Nor knows a wish that Heaven can refuse ? Is there who can on his great self depend ? Now let me die, but Harris is this friend. Dr Hoadley, Is there a friend, like those distinguish'd few, Renown'd for faith, whom former ages knew ; Polish'd by art, in every science wise ; Truly sincere, and good without disguise ; Guardian of right, who doth by honour steer ; Who makes no prayer but all the world may hear ; Who doth on fortitude of mind depend ? I know indeed, but dare not name, that friend. Hay. To Sir Theodore Janssen, Chamberlain of the City of London. If there 's one shall arise among all his rare friends, Whose famed honour and virtue knows no private ends ; 44 maetial's If one whose great skill leaves us much at a strife, If in arts he excels, or most simple in life ; If one who 's the guardian of honesty's cause. And in secret asks nothing against divine laws ; If there 's one, who on greatness of mind builds his plan, May I die if the Chamberlain won't be the man ! Itev. Mr Scott, 1763. XL. TO A-N EE"VIOUS MAN. You who make grimaces, and read these verses of mine with an ill grace, you, victim of jealousy, may, if you please, envy everybody ; nobody will envy you. Who read'st these lines, from rancorous spleen not free, May'st envy all, and none e'er envy thee ! Anon. 1695. XLI. TO C^CILIUS. Tou imagine yourself, Csecilius, a man of wit. Tou are no such thing, believe me. "What then ? A low buffoon ; such a thing as wanders about in the quarters beyond the Tiber, and barters pale-coloured sulphur matches for brok- en glass ; such a one as sells boiled peas and beans to the idle crowd ; such as a lord and keeper of snakes ; or as a common servant of the salt-meat-sellers ; or a hoarse- voiced cook who carries round smoking sausages in steaming shops ; or the worst of street poets ; or a blackguard slave- dealer from Grades ; ^ or a chattering old debauchee. Cease at length, therefore, to imagine yourself that which is ima- gined by you alone, Cascilius, you who could have silenced Grabba, and even Testius Caballus, with your jokes. It is not given to every one to have taste ; "^ he who jests with a stupid effrontery is not a Testius, but a Caballus,^ Thou think'st thyselfe a sparke o' th' towne. But art in deed a fowle-mouth'd clowne : Like those i' th' suburbs making cry ; For broaken glass who '11 matches buy? Or those i' th' play-house goe about Selling their ginger-bread to th' rout ; Or jugler that with snakes decoys Men in, or rougy tumblers' boys : ' See Juvenal xi. 162, and Mayor's note. '^ Habere nasum, i. e. be a good critic. 3 A play on the word Caballus, which, as an appellative noun, meant a hack-horse. I BOOK I.J EPIGEAMS. 45 Or hee with moving oven cries, Till hee bee hoarse, hott pudding-pyes ; Or him makes farces, but not well ; Or the stern beadle of Bridewell ; Or an old lecher's beastly talke. To thinke thyselfe a wit then bauke, Since none but thine owne selfe thinks so : Or that "Will Davenant you outgoe, Or Killegrew, in witty droleing. All have not the right knack of fooling : Who still with wittless rudeness j easts Playes horse-play, not for man, but beasts. Old MS. Vith Cent. Cecil, thou a witty knave ! No : thou 'rt but a saucy slave, And might' st 'yond the Tiber pass, Trucking march with broken glass ; Or dispense the vetches drown'd, To the gaping mob around : Arch enough for viper-quack, Master of the huckster's clack : Nay, of croak full hoarse to cry, " Smoking sausage, who will buy ? " Poet, for the city-scum ; Showman, fresh from Gades come : Mouth effusing such delights, As a doting catamite's. Cecil, then, no more conceive, What thou canst alone believe. Jokes thou may'st with Galba spit, Sexty Stallion may'st outwit. But, on this assured repose : Every face has not a nose ; Nor can every pert rascallion Be a Sexty, though a Stallion. Mjphimton. XLII. ON POTICIA. "When Porcia had heard the fate of her consort Brutus, and her grief was seeking the weapon, which had been carefully removed from her, " Te know not yet," she cried, " that death cannot be denied : I had supposed that my father had taught you this lesson by his fate." She spoke, and with eager mouth swallowed the blazing coals. " Gro now, officious at- tendants, and refuse me a sword, if you will." 46 maetial's When Brutus' fate fame unto Porcia brought, And friends withheld the arms her sorrow sought, " I thought," said she, " my father, when he died, Taught ye that death to none can be denied." She spoke, and greedily devour'd the fire. " Go now, officious throng, vainly conspire The weapons to deny, my grief's desire." Anon. 1695. When Porcia was inform'd her lord was dead; And the stolen dagger sought in vain, she said, " Think ye, the means are wanting to expire ? Are ye so ill instructed by my sire ? " The burning coals then greedily devour'd ; Crying, " Unkind attendants, keep the sword." Hay. When the sad tale, how Brutus fell, was brought. And slaves refused the weapon Porcia sought ; " Know ye not yet," she said, with towering pride, " Death is a boon that cannot be denied ? I thought my father amply had imprest This simple truth upon each Roman breast." Dauntless she gulph'd the embers as they flamed. And, while their heat within her raged, exclaim' d, " Now, troublous guardians of a life abhorr'd. Still urge your caution, and refuse the sword." Geo. Lamb. XLIII. ON MANCINUS. Twice thirty were invited to your table, Mancinus, and nothing was placed before us yesterday but a wild-boar. Nowhere were to be seen grapes preserved from the late vines, or apples vying in flavour with sweet honey-combs ; nowhere the pears which hang suspended by flexible twigs, or pomegranates the colour of summer roses : nor did the rustic basket supply its milky cheeses, or the olive emerge from its Picenian jar. Tour wild-boar was by itself: and it was even of the smallest size, and such a one as might have been slaughtered by an unarmed dwarf. Besides, none of it was given us ; we simply looked on it as spectators. This is the way in which even the arena places a wild-boar before us. IMay no wild-boar be placed before you after such doings, but may you be placed before the boar in front of which Chari- demus was placed.^ Thine invited were yesterday, Mancin, threescore ; Nor was anything served to thy guests, but a boar. * By Domitian, to be torn in pieces. See Sueton. Life of Domit. BOOK I.] EPiaRAMS. 47 Not the grapes, that the last from their parent depend ; Not the apples, that with the sweet comb can contend ; Not the pears, that are bound by the limberly broom ; Or pomegranates, so like fleeting roses in bloom ; Not a cone of rich clots, from the country afar ; Not an olive Picenum had pent in a jar. Naked Aper, quite harmless, the company charm'd j And confessed himself slain by a pigmy unarm' d. But our eyes had the sense, which alone he would feast : On the sand have we often admired such a beast : Hence to thee be a tusker presented no more : But be thou, Charidemus-like, served to a boar. Elphinston, XLIY. TO STELLA. If it seems to you too much, Stella, that my longer and shorter compositions are occupied with the frisky gambols of the hares and the play of the lions, and that I go over the same subject twice, do you also place a hare twice before me. If twice the hares and lions sporting be A subject, Stella, trivial unto thee, Revenge thyself upon me with like fare ; . Invite me twice, and set before me hare. Atwn. 1695. XLV. OF HIS bode:. That the care which I have bestowed upon what I have published may not come to nothing through the smallness of my volumes, let me rather fill up my verses with Tov 5' a7rayLut,6nEV0Q.^ Lest, in air, the mere lightness my distichs should toss, I had rather sing Tbv 5' d7ra/«£t|36/i£voc. MpUnston. XLVI. AD HEDTLTJM. Cum dicis propero, fac si facis, Hedyle, languet Protinus, et cessat debilitata Venus. Expectare jube : velocius ibo retentus : Hedyle, si properas, die mihi, ne properem. A EDILO. Quando dici mi spiccio, spicciati, o Edilo, in un subito priapo si snerva, e'l piacere abbattuto perde forza. Di ch'io m'arresti : vo 1 Let me rather use frequent repetitions, just as Homer frequently re- peats these words. 48 maetial's piii presto quando son rattenuto. O Edilo, se ti spicci diramelo, accio io vadi adagio. Graglia. When thou say'st I hasten to 't, Do it if thou mean' St to do 't, Hedyla, delay' d desire Soon languishes, and doth expire. Command me to expect, then I, Withheld, shall run more speedily ; But, Hedyla, if thou dost haste, Tell me, that I not come too fast. Fletcher. XLTII. OIT DIAULTJS. Diaulus, lately a doctor, is now an undertaker : what he does as an undertaker, he used to do also as a doctor. Diaule the doctor is a sexton made : Though he is changed, he changeth not his trade. WngM. The Doctor's late, is now the Dismal's lore : What Dismal does, the Doctor did before. JElphimton, XLYIII. OK THE LION AND HAEE. The keepers could not snatch the bulls from those wide jaws, through which the fleeting prey, the hare, goes and re- turns in safety ; and, what is still more strange, he starts from his foe with increased swiftness, and contracts something of the great nobleness of the lion's nature. He is not safer when he courses along the empty arena, nor with equal feel- ing of security does he hide him in his hutch. If, venturous hare, you seek to avoid the teeth of the hounds, you have the jaws of the lion to which you may flee for refuge. In the jaws that deny aU retreat to a bull, See the hare come and go ; and his gambol is fuU. O'er his flight as fell fear has lost all her control ; From the foe he takes fire, by contagion of soul. Not more safe in the course, when thou wanton'st alone ; Or so safe, when thou boastest a home of thine own. The dire dogs to cast off", thou hast, puss, one sure feat : In the mouth of the lion thou 'It find a retreat. XLIX. TO LICINIANUS. thou, whose name must not be left untold by Celti- BOOK I.] EPIGfiAMS. 49 berian nations, thou fhe honour of our common country, Spain, thou, Licinianus, wilt behold the lofty Bilbilis, renowned for horses and arms, and Catus ^ venerable with his locks of snow, and sacred Yadavero with its broken cliffs, and the sweet grove of delicious Botrodus, which the happy Pomona loves. Thou wilt breast the gently-flowing water of the warm Con- gediis and the calm lakes of the Nymphs, and thy body, relaxed by these, thou mayst brace up in the little Salo, which hardens iron. There Yoberca ^ herself will supply for thy meals animals which may be brought down close at hand. The serene summer heat thou wilt disarm by bathing in the golden Tagus, hidden beneath the shades of trees ; thy greedy thirst the fresh Dercenna will appease, and Nutha, which in coldness surpasses snow. But when hoar December and the furious solstice shall resound with the hoarse blasts of the north-wind, thou wilt again seek the sunny shores of Tarraco and thine own Laletania. There thou wilt despatch hinds caught in thy supple toils, and native boars ; and thou wilt tire out the cunning hare with thy hardy steed; the stags thou wilt leave to thy bailiff. The neighbouring wood will come down into thy very hearth, surrounded as it will be with a troop of uncombed children. The huntsman will be in- vited to thy table, and many a guest called in from the neigh- bourhood will come to thee. The crescent-adorned boot ^ will be nowhere to be seen, nowhere the toga and garments smelling of purple dye. ' Far away will be the ill-favoured Liburnian porter* and the grumbling client; far away the imperious demands of widows. The pale criminal will not break thy deep sleep, but all the morning long thou wilt enjoy thy slumber. Let another earn the grand and wild "Bravo !" Do thou pity such happy ones, and enjoy with- out pride true delight, while your friend Sura is crowned with applause. Not unduly does life demand of us our few remaining days, when fame has as much as is sufficient. 'Mong Celtiberians, thou much-famed man, Spayne's praise, Licinian, Now thou fayre Bilbilis' high-seated ground, For horse and arms renown'd, ^ Catus and Vadavero are names of mountains near Bilbilis. Botiodus is a small town ; Congedus and Salo, rivers. 2 The name of a to^vn. Dercenna and Nutha are fountains, 3 Worn by senators. * See Juvenal, iv. 75 50 maetial's And old Vadoveron's snow-white bared head With craggy cliffs bespread, And lonely Botrod's pleasant groves, wilt see, Where the brave orchards bee ; In warme Congede to swimm, thyselfe betake, Or some such pleasant lake : Or bind thy pores in Salon's shallow flood, Which harden'd Steele makes good. Voberta's game comes as you dine to th' hand, And to bee shott will stand : On golden Tagus' shady banks you may Shunn the sun's scorching ray : And, with springs cooler than the snow, the rage Of greedy thirst assuage. When feeble winter and December hoare With hoarse north- winds doth roare, To Tarracon's warme beech you may retreat. Or Laletanian heat ; There deere caught in the yielding toyles you may. Or home-fedd brawners, slay ; Or subtle hares with stronger horse runn downe. Leaving the stagg to the clowne. The neighboiu^ing wood large fyres to your hearthe finds, Begirt with dirty hinds. Your fellow-huntsman there you '11 make a guest, Or your next neighbour feast ; From press of suitors and lords' companie And roabes perfumed free ; From horrid cryers and bold widdows' voyce, And peevish clyents' noyse ; No pale dependant your sound sleepes shall breake. With you i' th' morne to speak. Whilst others purchase great applause, but vayne, Pity their hapless gaine. Enjoy true bliss, nor envious bee, whene'er Your Sura's prayse you heare : Boldly you may, with fame enough now blest, Live to vourselfe the rest. Old MS. nth Cent. L. TO ^MILTAlSrUS. If your cook, ^milianus, is called Misty 11 us, why should uot mine be called Taratalla?' If a cook-boy, by thee, may Mistyllus be hight ; Taratalla to clep him, commences my right. Elphinston. ' A meaningless jest, taken from Homer's words (II. i. 465), uiarvWov T dpa TuWa^ K.T.X. BOOK I.J EPIGRAMS. 51 LI. TO A HAKE. No neck, save tlie proudest, serves for the fierce lion. Why dost thou, vain-glorious hare, flee from these teeth ? No doubt thou v^^ouldst wish them to stoop from the huge bull to thee, and to crush a neck which they cannot see. The glory of an illustrious death must be an object of despair to thee. Thou, a tiny prey, canst not fall before such an enemy ! On nervous necks behold him hang ; Proud puss, why fear the lion's fang ? From bulls would he descend to thee. Or crush the bones he cannot see ? Then soar not to a fate so high ; Nor hope by such a foe to die. Mphinsfon. LII. TO QUINCTIANTJS. To thee, Quinctianus, do I commend my books, if indeed I can call books mine, which thy poet recites.^ If they complain of a grievous yoke, do thou come forward as their advocate, and defend them efficiently ; and when he calls himself their master, say that they were mine, but have been given 2 by me to the public. If thou wilt proclaim this three or four times, thou wilt bring shame on the plagiary. Dear Quintian, to thy happy powers Our lays (if I may call them ours, Which thy bold bard will needs recite, And swear that once himself could write) I with just confidence commend ; And shall exact it of my friend, That, if they heavy bondage wail, Thou stand their claimant and their bail : So when himself the culprit calls The owner of the wretched thralls, That them as mine thou redemand, As sent to freedom from my hand. This truth if o'er and o'er thou bawl, The thief thou 'It redden and appal. Mphimton. Liii. TO eidenti:n^us One page only in my books belongs to you, Tidentinus, ' A poet that recited verses to Quinctianus ; the same, probably, that is mentioned in the next epigram. ' Manumitted ; released Irom my portfolio. 52 MARTIAL S but it bears the sure stamp of its master, and accuses your verses of glaring tbeft. Just so does a G-allic frock coming in contact with purple city cloaks stain them with grease and filth ; just so do Arretine ^ pots disgrace vases of crystal ; so is a black crow, straying perchance on the banks of the Cayster, laughed to scorn amid the swans of Leda : and so, when the sacred grove resounds with the music of the tuneful nightiugale, the miscreant magpie disturbs her Attic plaints. I£y books need no one to accuse or judge you: the page Avhich is yours stands up against you and says, " You are a thief." To steale my bookes thou 'rt greedy, but unwise, To thinke thou 'rt poett made at the same price A booke 's transcribed, or a slight volume sold. Wisedom 's not purchased for few summs of gold. Seeke some obscm-er lines and ruder pajTies Of one who th' virgin issue of his braines Keepes locked up to any's eye unknowne, By any's lijDps unkissed but his owne. A well-knowne booke can't shift its authour. Yett If you one vrith unpolish'd front would gett, Never yett bound or boss'd, I such can show : Buy them, and whence you had them none shall know. Who others' Hues does as his owne rehearse, Had need his silence buy as well as verse. ' Old MS. VUh Cent. I' th' book th' ast filch'd from me, one page alone Is thine, and to be thine is so well known, If all the rest proclaims to be purloin'd. So greasy homespun cloth, to scarlet join'd, Its lustre as it wrongs and does defile, Itself it also renders the more vile : So crystal cups, with earthen set in place, The worse they suit, the more themselves disgrace : In consort thus, ridiculous does show Among the milk-white swans a rascal crow : A chatt'ring pie's harsh notes in grove so sound, Where quires of charming nightingales abound. I need no critic's aid for my rehef ; Thy own vile verse rights me, and calls thee thief. Anon. 1695. ' Earthen pots from Arretium, a town of Etruria. BOOK I.] EPIGRAMS. 53 LIY. TO FUSCrS. If, Fuscus, thou Last room to receive still more affection, (for thou hast friends around thee on all sides), I ask thee for one place in thy heart, if one still remains vacant, and that thou wilt not refuse because I am a stranger to thee : all thy old friends were so once. Simply consider whether he who is presented to you a stranger is likely to become an old friend. You, whom your faithful friends surround, Can there within your breast be found One spot another friend to grace ? Oh ! grant to me that happy place Refuse me not, because untried ; So once were all your friends beside. Weigh well the man ; for from the new May grow a good old friend and true . Zfoy. If yet one corner in thy breast Remains, good Fuscus, unpossess'd (For many a friend, I know, is thine), Give me to boast that corner mine. Nor thou the honour'd place I sue Refuse to an acquaintance new. The oldest friend of ail thy store Was once, 'tis certain, nothing more. It matters not how late the choice, If but approved by reason's voice ! Then let thy sole inquiry be. If thou canst find such worth in me That, constant as the years are roll'd. Matures new friendship into old. Melmoth. LY. TO FEOIs'TO. If thou, Eronto, so distinguished an ornament of military and civil life, desirest to learn the wishes of thy friend Marcus, he prays for this, to be the tiller of his own farm, nor that a large one, and he loves inglorious repose in an unpretending sphere. Does any one haunt the porticoes of cold variegated Spartan marble, and run to offer, like a fool, his morning greetings, when he might, rich with the spoils of grove and field, unfold before his fire his well-fiUed nets, and 54 martial' s lift the leaping fish with the quivering line, and draw forth the yellow honey from the red ^ cask, while a plump house- keeper loads his unevenly-propped table, and his own eggs are cooked by an unbought fire ? That the man who loves not me may not love this life, is my wish ; and let him drag out life pallid with the cares of the city. Well then, Sir, you shall know how far extend The prayers and hopes of your poetic friend : He does not palaces nor manors crave, "Would be no lord, but less a lord would have. The ground he holds, if he his own can call. He quarrels not with heaven because 'tis small : Let gay and toilsome greatness others please, — He loves of homely littleness the ease. Can any man in gilded rooms attend, . And his dear hours in humble visits spend. When in the fresh and beauteous fields he may With various healthful pleasures fill the day ? If there be man (ye gods !) I ought to hate, Dependence and attendance be his fate. Still let him busy be, and in a crowd. And very much a slave, and very proud : Thus he perhaps powerful and rich may grow ; No matter, O ye gods ! that I '11 allow ; But let him peace and freedom never see : Let him not love this life, who loves not me. Cowley. Since you, whom all the world admires, Would know what your poor friend desires ; Some little spot of earth he prays, To pass incognito his days. Who 'd bear the noisy pomp of state. Or croAvd of clients at his gate, That might, in his own fields and wood, Find his diversion and his food ? His ponds with various fishes stored ; The bees for him their honey hoard ; A nut-brown lass, both kind and neat, To make his bed, and dress his meat. He that hates me, or likes not this, May he ne'er taste so sweet a bliss, But, fool'd by riches and renown, Still stay behind, and rot in town ! Bouquet, Dublin, 1784. ' Stained with vermilion. BOOK I.] EPIGEAMS. 55 LTI. TO A VINTKER. Harassed with continual rains, the vineyard drips with wet. You cannot sell us, vintner, even though you wish, neat wine. So constant pours the harassd vintage swell, Thou canst not, if thou wouldst, unmingled sell. Elphinston. LVII. TO ELACCUS. Do you ask what sort of maid I desire or dislike, Flaccus ? I dislike one too easy, and one too coy. The just mean, which lies between the two extremes, is what I approve ; I like neither that which tortures, nor that which cloys. Wouldst know what temper I to love would choose ? What maid I like, and what I would refuse ? I neither like the facile, nor the coy, The overhard, nor easy to enjoy : A mean 'twixt both I rather do approve, She that nor racks, nor cloys, the sweets of love. Anon. 1695. You ask me, dear friend, ** What lass I 'd enjoy :" I would have one that 's neither too coming nor coy, A medium is best, that gives us no pain, By too much indulgence, or too much disdain. Ilay. You ask, were I to change my life, What kind of girl I 'd take to wife ? Not one who coy or easy seems, I hate alike the two extremes ; She satiates who at first complies, She starves my love who long denies. The maid must not, I 'd call my own, Say " No " too oft, or " Yes " too soon. Jnon. Ask you, my friend, what kind of she I 'd choose ? Not one too difficult, or one too loose ; The moderate fair, indifferently coy, With sense to please, but not too free to cloy ; Whose passions 'twixt the wide extremes are put : I love no torment, and I hate a slut. Qent. Mag. 1737. LVIII. DE PUEEI PRETIO. Millia pro puero centum me mango poposeit : Eisi ego : sed Phoebus protinus ilia dedit. 56 m^ihtial's Hoc dolet et queritur de me mea mentula mecum, Laudaturque meain Phoebus in invidiam. Sed sestertiolum donavit mentula Phoebo Bis decies ; hoc da tu mihi, pluris emam. DEL PREZZO d'tJN GIOVINOTTO. II senzale mi dimando cento milla sesterzi per un giovinotto : io risi : ma Febo incontanente gU diede. Questo mi ando al cuore, e la mia mentola si lagno meco di me stesso, e Febo e lodato in sprezzo di me. Ma la mentola diede a Febo venti volte cento miUa sesterzi. Dammi tu questo, che lo paghero anche di piu. Graglia, LIX. TO ELACCUS. The sportula^ at Baise brings me in a hundred farthings; of what use is such a miserable sum in the midst of such sumptuous baths ? Grive me back the darksome baths of Lupus and Grryllus. "When I sup so scantily, Flaccus, why should I bathe so luxuriously ? An humble hundred, Baian bounty gives : Amid so nigh delights, what hunger lives ! Restore me Lupus' baths, and Gryllus' gloom : "Why bathe in state, if starving be my doom ? ElpJiinston. LX. ON THE LION AND HAEE. Hare, although thou enterest the wide jaws of the fierce lion, still he imagines his mouth to be empty. Where is the back on which he shall rush ? where the shoulders on which he shall fall ? where shall he fix those deep bites which he inflicts on young bulls? why dost thou in vain weary the lord and monarch of the groves ? 'T is only on the wild prey of his choice that he feeds. In the muzzle's dread repair. Scarce the hero feels the hare. Glee, my lev'ret, may be thine ; Can he rush upon thy chine ? On thy shoulder can he bound ? AVhere infix the fatal wound ? Vainly, trifler, dost thou scud ; Vainly profi'er paltry blood ; ' Sportula. A present from the richer class to the poorer ; nominally the price of a supper. See Diet. Antiqq. s. v BOOK I.] EPIGRAMS. 57 Vainly plague the king of groves : He for royal victims roves. Elphinsfon. LXI. TO LICmiANTTS, OlS" THE COTJFTEIES OP CELEEHATED AUTHOES. Verona loves the verses of her learned Poet ; Mantua is blest in her Maro ; the territory of Apona is renowned for its Livy, its Stella, and not less for its Maccus. The Nile, whose waters are instead of rain, applauds its ApoUodorus ; the Pelignians vaunt their Ovid. Eloquent Cordova speaks of its two Senecas and its single and preeminent Lucan. Vo- luptuous Grades delights in her Canius,^ Emerita in my friend Decianus. Our Bilbilis will be proud of you, Licinianus, nor will be altogether silent concerning me. Whilst Milton 's read, or silver Thames shall run, Will great Augusta boast her greater son. Avon shall flow as proud of Shakspear's name, Alike in genius, and the next in fame. Waller polite from Hertford's bounds removes, To court the fair in Penshurst's ravish'd groves. The lofty Denham, from Hibernia's shore. Makes Cooper's Hill what Pindus was before. Hear Cowley's infant cries ! the town he hates : Bear him, ye swans, to Chertsey's green retreats. But let her Prior in the town remain, With well-wrought tales his town to entertain. The Coritani deck their Dryden's bays : Th' accomplish'd Addison his Belgse praise. Pope's Windsor Dryads listen to his verse ; And at his grot the Naiads slack their course. Cornavian climes the merry Butler bore : And tender Otway graced my native shore .^ Hai/. LXII. O'S L^TIKA. Laevina, so chaste as to rival even the Sabine women of old, and more austere than even her stern husband, chanced, while intrusting herself sometimes to the waters of the Lu- crine lake, sometimes to those of Avernus, and while fre- quently refreshing herself in the baths of Baise, to fall into the flames of love, and, leaving her husband, fled with a young gallant. She arrived a Penelope, she departed a Helen. ' See b. iii. Ep. 20. 2 Hay was born at Trotton in Susse.x. 58 maetial's Lsevina, chaste as Sabines were of old, Than her strict husband yet more strict and cold, While in the common baths she did descend, And in those freedoms many hours did spend. She fell in love ; in the cold streams took fire ; And, burning with a youth in loose desire. She left her husband, and her virtuous name ; Helen went thence, Penelope that came. Anon. 1695. LXIII. TO CELER Tou ask me to recite to you my Epigrams. I cannot oblige you ; for you wish not to hear them, Celer, but to re- cite them.^ Celer to read my epigrams does crave, But to recite his own 's the thing he 'd have. Anon. 1695. LXIT. TO rABTJLLA. You are pretty, — we know it; and young, — it is true; and rich, — who can deny it ? But when you praise yourself extravagantly, Fabulla, you appear neither rich, nor pretty, nor young. You 're fayre, I know 't ; and modest too, 't is true ; And rich you are ; well, who denyes it you ? But whilst your owne prayse you too much proclame, Of modest, rich, and fayre you loose the name. OldllSS. mhCent. Fair, rich, and young ! how rare is her perfection, Were it not mingled with one foul infection : So proud a heart, I mean, so cursed a tongue. As makes her seem nor rich, nor fair, nor young. Sir John Harrington. Pretty thou art, we know ; a pretty maid ; A rich one too : it cannot be gainsay'd. But when thy puffs we hear, thy pride we see, Thou neither rich, nor fair, nor maid canst be. Anon. Genteel, 't is true, O n^nnph, you are ; You 're rich and beauteous to a hair. But while too much you praise yourself, You 've neither air, nor charms, nor pelf. Gent Mag. 1746. * To plagiarize them from me, and then to recite them as your own. BOOK I.] EPIGEAMS. 59 LXY. TO C^CILIATfTJS. "WTien I ssLidJicus, you laughed at it as a barbarous word, Csecilianus, and bade me say jicos. I shall call the produce of the fig-tree ^cw5 ; yours I shall call^cos. LXYI. TO A PLAGIARY. You are mistaken, insatiable thief of my writings, who think a poet can be made for the mere expense which copy- ing, and a cheap volume cost. The applause of the world is not acquired for six or even ten sesterces. Seek out for this purpose verses treasured up, and unpublished eiForts, known only to one person, and which the father himself of the virgin sheet, that has not been worn and scrubbed by bushy chins, keeps sealed up in his desk. A well-known book cannot change its master. But if there is one to be found yet unpolished by the pumice-stone, yet unadorned with bosses and cover, buy it : I have such by me, and no one shall know it. "Whoever recites another's compositions, aud seeks for fame, must buy, not a book, but the author's silence. Thou sordid felon of my verse and fame, So cheap dost hope to get a poet's name, As, by the purchase barely of my book, For ten vile pence eternal glory rook ? Find out some virgin poem ne'er saw the day, Which wary writers in their desk do lay Lock'd up, and known unto themselves alone ; Nor one with using torn and sordid grown. A publish' d work can ne'er the author change, Like one ne'er pass'd the press, that ne'er did range The world, trimly bound up ; and such I '11 sell, Give me my price, and ne'er the secret tell. He that another 's wit and fame will own. Must silence buy, and not a book that 's known. Anon. 1695 LXYII. TO CH(ERILrS. "You are too free-spoken," is your constant remark to ^ An untranslatable jest on the double meaning of the word ficus , which, when declined j'^cm*, -i, means a species of ulcer ; and when^c««, -us, a fig-tree. 60 maetial's me, Choerilus. He who speaks against you, Choerilus, is in- deed a free speaker.^ Why dost thou blame my "writings as too free ? I may write freely, when I write of thee. L. H. S. LXYiii. o's Eums. "Whatever Hufus does, JSTsevia is all in all to him. "Whether he rejoices, or mourns, or is silent, it is ever Nsevia. He eats, he drinks, he asks, he refuses, he gesticulates, Nsevia alone is in his thoughts : if there were no Nsevia, he would be mute. AVhen he had written a dutiful letter yesterday to his father, he ended it with, "Nsevia, light of my eyes, Nsevia, my idol, farewell." Naevia read these words, and laughed with downcast looks. jN"aevia is not yours only : ^ what madness is this, foolish man ? Let Rufus weep, rejoice, stand, sit, or walk, Still he can nothing but of Nsevia talk : Let him eat, drink, ask questions, or dispute, StiU he must speak of Nsevia, or be mute. * He writ to his father, ending with this hne, I am, my lovely Nsevia, ever thine. Spectator, No. 113. LXIX. TO MAXIMUS. Tarenlos,^ which was wont to exhibit the statue of Pan, be- gins now, Maximus, to exhibit that of Canius. Her god Tarentos show'd in Pan : In Canius she displays her man. MpUnston LXX. TO HIS BOOK. Go, my book, and pay my respects for me : you are ordered to go, dutiful volume, to the splendid halls of Proculus. Do you ask the way ? I will tell you. You wiU go along by ' Free trom all restraint, for he may say all sorts of things against you without fear of contradiction. ^ Publicum enim est prostibulum. Raderus. 3 Tarentos, a place in the Campiis Martius, in which was a temple con- secrated to Pluto, and filled with statues of Pan, the Satyrs, and other deities or remarkable personages. On Canius, a humorous poet of Gades, M'hose statue, it appears, was put there with Pan's, see above, Ep. 61, B. iii. Ep. 20. BOOK I.] - EPiaEAMS. 61 the temple of Castor, near that of ancient Vesta, and that goddess's virgin home. Thence you will pass to the majes- tic Palatine edifice on the sacred hill, where glitters many a statue of the supreme ruler of the empire. And let not the ray-adorned mass of the Colossus detain you, a work which is proud of surpassing that of Ehodes. But turn aside by the way where the temple of the wine-bibbing Bacchus rises, and where the couch of Cybele stands adorned with pictures of the Corybantes. Immediately on the left is the dwelling with its splendid fa9ade, and the halls of the lofty mansion which you are to approach. Enter it ; and fear not its haughty looks or proud gate ; no entrance afl^'ords more ready access; nor is there any house more inviting for Phoebus and the learned sisters to love. If Proculus shall say, " But why does he not come himself ? " you may excuse me thus, " Because he could not have written what is to be read here, whatever be its merit, if he had come to pay his respects in person." Go, little book, the breathings of thy lord 'Fore Proculus's splendid gods record. Which is my way ? By Castor shalt thou roam, Near hoary Vesta's fane and virgin-dome. Thence by the awful hill ascends thy tour : The sov'reign's image beams direction pure. Nor thee too long the famed Coloss beguile, That dims the radiance of the Rhodian pile. Hence seek the soaking father of the feast, The mighty mother, and her painted priest. Now, on the left, the lofty towers invite : The courts august possess the ravish'd sight. Yet, bold approach ; thou canst redoubt no pride : No welcome portals stand more sweetly wide. None eyes Apollo, or the Nine more near. The poet, why, he '11 say, himself not here ? Then thou : Because, whatever these indite. The personal saluter could not write. ElpJiinston. LXXI. TO SLEEP. Let Lsevia be toasted with six cups, Justina with seven, Lycas with five, Lyde with four, Ida with three. Let the number of letters in the name of each of our mistresses be equalled by the number of cups of Falernian. But, since none of them comes, come thou, Sleep, to me. MAETIALS Nsevia six cups, Justina seven comprise, Lycus five, Lyde four, and Ida three, Each man his love by healths arithmetise ; If none appear, then. Sleep, come thou to me. Fletcher, LXXII. A PLAGIAET. TO riDEI^Ti:N-TJS, Do you imagine, Pidentiuus, that you are a poet by the aid of my verses, and do you wish to be thought so ? Just so does ^gie think she has teeth from having purchased bone or ivory. Just so does Lycoris, vs^ho is blacker than the fall- ing mulberry, seem fair in her own eyes, because she is painted. You too, in the same way that you are a poet, will have flowing locks when you are grown bald. Fidentine, dost thou think, and seek to be A poet with my verse in thievery ? So ^gle, with her bought and Indian bone, May seem to have a sound mouth of her own. So painted-faced Lycoris may seem white, Though black as moors veil'd in a natural night. For that same cause that thou art poet call'd. Thou mayst be said bush-hair'd when thou art bald. Fletcher. LXXIII. TO C^CILIANUS. There was no one in the whole city, Caecilianus, who de- sired to meddle with your wife, even gratis, while permission was given ; but now, since you have set a watch upon her, the crowd of gallants is innumerable. You are a clever fellow ! Scarce one in all the city would embrace Thy proflfer'd wife, Caecilian, free to have ; But now she 's guarded, and lock'd up, apace Thy custom comes. Oh, thou 'rt a witty knave ! Fletcher. Your wife 's the plainest piece a man can see : No soul would touch her, whilst you left her free : But since to guard her you employ all arts, The rakes besiege her. — You 're a man of parts ! Hay. LXXIV. TO PAULA. He was your gallant, Paula ; you could however deny it. He is become your husband ; can you deny it now, Paula ? * ' He was said to be your gallant when your first husband was alive. BOOK I.] EPIGEAMS. 63 He was the favourite ; thou might'st disavow : He is thy consort ; canst thou, Paula, now ? Elphinston, LXXT. OS LITTTJS. He who prefers to give Linus the half of what lie wishes to borrow, rather than to lend him the whole, prefers to lose only the half. Why give poor Linus half, not lend the whole ? " I 'd rather lose but half." A prudent soul ! Elphinston. Lend Spunge a guinea ! Ned, you 'd best refuse, And give hira half. Sure, that 's enough to lose. Anon. LXXVI. TO VALERIUS ELACCUS. Elaccus, valued object of my solicitude, hope and nurs- ling of the city of Antenor,^ put aside Pierian strains and the lyre of the Sisters ; none of those damsels will give you money. "What do you expect from Phoebus ? The chest of Minerva contains the cash ; she alone is wise, she alone lends to all the gods. "What can the ivy of Bacchus give ? The dark tree of Pallas bends down its variegated boughs under the load of fruit. Helicon, besides its waters and the garlands and lyres of the goddesses, and the great but empty applause of the multitude, has nothing. What hast thou to do with Cirrha ? "What with bare Permessis ? The Roman forum is nearer and more lucrative. There is heard the chink of money ; but around our desks and barren chairs kisses ^ alone resound. Though midst the noblest poets thou hast place, Flaccus, the oifspring of Antenor's race ; Renounce the Muses' songs and charming quire, For none of them enrich, though they inspire. Court not Apollo, Pallas has the gold ; She 's wise, and does the gods in mortgage hold. Wliat profit is there in an ivy wreath ? Its fruits the loaden olive sinks beneath. In Helicon there 's nought but springs and bays, The Muses' harps loud sounding empty praise. You then denied it. You married him as soon as your husband died. Will you deny it now ? * The author of the Argonautica. 2 The city of Patavium, founded by Antenor, 3 As tokens of applause. 64 maetial's What Avith Parnassus' streams hast thou to do ? The Roman forum 's rich, and nearer too. There chinks the cash : but round the poet's chair The smacks of kisses only fill the air. Anon. 1695. LXXYII. ON CHAEINUS. Charinus is perfectly well, aud yet he is pale ; Charinus drinks sparingly, and yet he is pale ; Charinus digests well, and yet he is pale ; Charinus suns himself, and yet he is pale ; Charinus dyes his skin, and yet he is pale ; Charinus indulges in infamous debauchery, and yet he is pale.^ Charinus nothing seems to ail ; But poor Charinus still is pale. Charinus drinks with due reflexion, But paly is his best complexion. Charinus eats, and can digest ; Yet wan is he, as with a pest. Charinus basks him in the sun ; Yet pale his hue, instead of dun. Charinus deeply dies his skin ; Still nought alive appears within. Charinus hates the Aiuse as hell : Pure paleness will with Charin dwell. Elphinston. LXXVIII. ON FESTTJS, WHO STABBED HIMSELF. When a devouring malady attacked his unoffending throat, and its black poison extended its ravages over his face, Festus, consoling his w^eeping friends, while his own eyes were dry, determined to seek the Stygian lake. He did not however pollute his pious mouth mth secret poison, or aggravate his sad fate by lingering famine, but ended his pure life by a death befitting a Roman, and freed his spirit in a nobler way. . This death fame may place above that of the great Cato ; for Domitian was Festus' friend.^ When the dire quinsey choked his noble breath, And o'er his face the black'ning venom stole, Festus disdain'd to wait a ling'ring death, Cheer'd his sad friends, and freed his dauntless soul. Nor meagre famine's slowly-wasting force, Nor hemlock's gradual chillness he endured ; But closed his life a truly Pvoman course, And with one blow his liberty secured. Hodgson, That is, he does not blush at his infamy. ' Caio said that he died to avoid looking on the face of the tyrant Cocsar. BOOK I.J EPIGEAMS. 65 LXXIX. TO ATTALTJS, A BUSY-BODY. Attains, you are ever acting the barrister, or acting the man of business : whether there is or is not a part for you to act. Attains, you are always acting a part. If lawsuits and business are not to be found, Attains, you act the mule- driver. Attains, lest a part should be wanting for you to act, act the part of executioner on yourself. You act the pleader, and you act the man Of business ; acting is your constant plan : So prone to act, the coachman's part is tried ; Lest all parts fail thee, act the suicide. L. H. S. LXXX. TO CANUS. On the last night of your life, Canus, a sportula was the object of your wishes. I suppose the cause of your death was, Canus, that there was only one.^ The sportule, that last night poor Canus sought, Has surelv slain him ; for but one he caught. Elphinston. LXXXI. TO SOSIBIAlfUS. You know that you are the son of a slave, and you in- genuously confess it, when you call your father, Sosibianus, " master." ^ That thou 'rt son to a slave, thou dost frankly record, When, Sosibian, thou titlest thy father "My lord." Elphimton. LXXXII. ON EEGTJLTJS. See from what mischief this portico, which, overthrown amid clouds of dust, stretches its long ruins over the ground, lies absolved. Por Eegulus had but just been carried in his litter imder its arch, and had got out of the way, when forthwith, borne down by its own weight, it fell ; and, being no longer in fear for its master, it came down free from bloodguiltiness, a harmless ruin, without any attendant anxiety. After the fear ^ He had hoped for several largesses ; he died of mortification at re- ceiving only one. ^ The mother of Sosibianus had been guilty of adultery with a slave. When Sosibianus calls his reputed father Domirms, as a title of respect, but which was also a term for a master of slaves, he confesses himself a verna, or bom-slave. r 66 maetial's of so great a cause for complaint is passed, who would deny, Eegulus, that you, for whose sake the fall was innoxious, are an object of care to the gods ? The portico, that, mould'ring here, Her melancholy wreck extends : From what a mighty mischief clear, A wise and willing witness lends. Hardly had Regulus rode by, When, trembling with unwieldy weight. No passenger before her eye. She rush'd upon a bloodless fate. If tott'ring towers so cautious be, What guardian-gods encircle thee ! LXXXIII. ON MANKEIA. Tour lap-dog, Manneia, licks your mouth and lips : I do not wonder at a dog liking to eat ordure.^ On thy loved lips the whelpling lambent hung : No wonder if a dog can feed on dung. Elphinston. LXXXIV. ON QUIEINALIS. Quirinalis, though he wishes to have children, has no in- tention of taking a wife, and has found out in what way he can accomplish his object. He takes to him his maid-servants, and fills his house and his lands with slave-knights.^ Quiri- nalis is a true pater-familias. Sly Quirinalis cares not much to wed. Yet would partake the offspring of the bed. But yet what trick, what custom is 't he uses ? Most certain he his chambermaids abuses. So stocks his house and fields : how truly he Is call'd the father of his family ? Fletcher. LXXXV. ON AN AUCTIONEER. A wag of an auctioneer, offering for sale some cultivated heights, and some beautiful acres of land near the city, says, " If any one imagines that Marius is compelled to sell, he is - A sarcasm on the foulness of Manneia's breath. 2 Equitibus verms. (See Heinrich on Juv. ix. 10.) Eques verna, the offspring of a knight and a slave. I BOOK I. EPI&EAMS. 67 mistaken ; Marius owes nothing : on the contrary, he rather has money to put out at interest." " What is his reason, then, for selling ? " "In this place he lost all his slaves, and his cattle, and his profits ; hence he does not like the locality." Who would have made any ofier, unless he had wished to lose all his property ? So the ill-fated land remains with Marius. When the high-cultured hills hy the glib auctioneer, And the villa's fair acres were enter'd full dear ; He 's a blockhead, my buyers, who offers the flout That a Marius must sell, who might rather lend out. What 's the reason no slaves, flocks, or fruits, we can trace ? There 's the reason, I fear, why he likes not the place. Who would bid for such purchase, or less, or bid more, Who not wish'd to lose servants, and cattle, and store ? Then the case of poor Marius we well understand, And the cause why the premises hang on his hand. Mphinston. LXXXYI. ON FOTIUS. Novius is my neighbour, and may be reached by the hand from my windows. Who would not envy me, and think me a happy man every hour of the day when I may enjoy the society of one so near to me ? But, he is as far removed from me as Terentianus, who is now governor of Syene on the Nile. I am not privileged either to live with him, or even see him, or hear him ; nor in the whole city is there any one at once so near and so far from me. I must remove farther off, or he must. If any one wishes not to see Novius, let him become his neighbour or his fellow-lodger. My neighbour Hunks's house and mine Are built so near they almost join; The windows too project so much. That through the casements we may touch. Nay, I 'm so happy, most men think, To live so near a man of chink. That they are apt to envy me. For keeping such good company : But he 's as far from me, 1 vow. As London is from good Lord Howe ; For when old Hunks I chance to meet, Or one or both must quit the street. Thus he who would not see old Roger, Must be his neighbour — or his lodger. Swift. F 2 68 maetial's Sir Formal's house adjoining stands : "We from our windows may shake hands. Blest situation ! you will say. Do not you envy me, I pray, Who may, at early hours and late, Enjoy a friend so intimate ? Sir Formal is to me as near As is the Consul at Algier. So far from intimacy is it. We seldom speak, we never visit. In the whole town no soul can be So near, and yet so far from me. 'Tis time for him or me to start ; We cannot meet, unless we part. Would you Sir Formal keep aloof ? '"ake lodgings under the same roof. Hay. LXXXVII. TO FESCENNIA. That you may not be disagreeably jfragrant with your yes- terday's wine, you devour, luxurious Fescennia, certain of Cosmus's ^ perfumes. Breakfasts of such a nature leave their mark on the teeth, but form no barrier against the emanations which escape from the depths of the stomach. ISTay, the fetid «mell is but the worse when mixed with perfume, and the double odour of the breath is carried but the further. Cease then to use frauds but too well known, and disguises well understood ; and simply intoxicate yourself. Each morne rich lozenges thou eat'st, the stinke, Fescennia, to hide o' th' last night's drinke : Such breakfasts smear thy chapps ; but all in vaine, When those sowre fumes thou must belch up againe. Nay, mixt with those perfumes the stinke is worse, And further goes with this redoubled force : The cheats, discover'd now, and too well knowne, Lay by j and henceforth smell of drinke alone. Old MS. 11 th Cent. LXXXYIII. ON ALCIMUS. Alcimus, whom, snatched from thy lord in thy opening 1 ' years, the Labican earth covers with light turf, receive, not a nodding mass of Parian marble, — an unenduring monument ^ Cosraus : a celebrated perfumer of the day, and frequently men- tioned. I BOOK I.] EPIGEAMS. 69 which misapplied toil gives to the dead, — but shapely box- trees and the dark shades of the palm leaf, and dewy flowers of the mead which bloom from being watered with my tears. Receive, dear youth, the memorials of my grief : this tribute will live for thee in all time. When Lachesis shall have spun to the end of my last hour, I shall ask no other honours for my ashes. Snatch'd from thy lord in thy youth's verdant bloome, Whose earth nought but earth-turfes gently entombe : Accept no vague vast marble piles, which must Instead of keeping thine, themselves bee dust : Butt this fraile boxe and palme-trees' gloomy shade, And greene sodds, with my dewy teares so made : Accept, deare boy, these griefs pour'd on thy hearse, Thus shall thy name live ever in my verse. When Fates my life's last thredd shall cutt in twaine, May I no other grave, than such, obta}Tie. Old MS. ntk Cent. Sweet innocent, whom wishes could not save, Light be the turf that rests upon thy grave ! No Parian marble thine, whose pomp might prove The sculptor's labour, not the parent's love. The humble box, and festil vine thy bier, Thy home the mead, thy monument a tear. O early lost, accept my votive lay, The last fond tribute which the Muse can pay : And when too ling'ring age has closed my doom, My heart's asylum be — a daughter's tomb. K B. Greene, 1774. Dear boy ! whom, torn in early youth away, The light turf covers in Labicum's way, Receive no tomb hewn from the Parian cave By useless toil to moulder o'er the grave ; But box and shady palms shall flourish here, And softest herbage green with many a tear. Dear boy ! these records of my grief receive, These simple honours that will bloom and live ; And be, when Fate has spun my latest line, My ashes honour'd, as I honour thine ! George Lamb. LXXXIX. TO CINFA. You always whisper into every one's ear, Cinna ; you whisper even what might be said in the hearing of the whole world. You laugh, you complain, you dispute, you weep, 70 maetial's you sing, you criticise, you are silent, you are noisy ; and all in one's ear. Has this' disease so thoroughly taken posses- sion of you, that you often praise Caesar, Cinna, in the ear ? ^ Cinna, thou 'rt ever whispering in the ear, And whispering that which all the world may hear. Thou laugh'st i' th' ear, weep'st, quarrel'st, dost dispute ; Thou sigh'st i' th' ear, dost hollow, and art mute : So far thou 'rt gone in this disease, I swear, Thou praisest Caesar often in the ear. Anon. 1695. Your powder'd nose you thrust in every ear, And whisper that which all the world may hear: In whispers smile, or wear a dismal face : In whispers state, or else lament, the case : Now hum a tune, judicious now appear ; Now hold your tongue, now hollow in the ear. Is this a secret too ? Your accent raise : We love the king, whom you in whispers praise. Hay, XC. ON BASSA. Inasmuch as I never saw you, Bassa, surrounded by a crowd of admirers, and report in no case assigned to you a favoured lover ; but every duty about your person was con- stantly performed by a crowd of your own sex, without the presence of even one man ; you seemed to me, I confess it, to be a Lucretia. At tu, proh facinus, Bassa, fututor eras. Inter se geminos audes committere cunnos, Mentitur que virum prodigiosa Venus. Commenta es dignum Thebano senigmate monstrum, Hie ubi vir non est, ut sit adulterium. That I ne'er saw thee in a coach with man, Nor thy chaste name in wanton satu-e met ; That from thy sex thy liking never ran, So as to suffer a male servant yet ; I thought thee the Lucretia of our time : But, Bassa, thou the while a Tribas wert, And clashing — with a prodigious crime Didst act of man th' inimitable part. What (Edipus this riddle can untie ? Without a male there was adultery. Sedley. ' When his praise ought to be proclaimed aloud everywhere. BOOK I.] EPIGRAMS. 71 XCI. TO LJELITJS. You do not publish your own verses, Lsslius ; you criti- cise mine. Pray cease to criticise mine, or else publish your own. Thou blam'st my verses and conceal'st thine own : Or publish thine, or else let mine alone ! Arion,. 1695. XCII. TO MAMTJRIANUS. Cestus with tears in his eyes often complains to me, Mamurianus, of being touched with your finger.^ You need not use your finger merely ; take Cestus all to yourself, if nothing else is wanting in your establishment, Mamurianus.^ But if you have neither fire, nor legs for your bare bedstead, nor broken basin of Chione or Antiope ; ^ if a cloak greasy and worn hangs down your back, and a G-allic jacket covers only half of your loins ; and if you feed on the smell alone of the dark kitchen, and drink On your knees dirty water with the dog ; Non culum, neque enim est cuius, qui non cacat olim. Sed fodiam digito qui super est oculum."* Nee me zelotypum nee dixeris esse malignum : Denique paedica, Mamuriane, satur. XCIII. ON AQTJINirS AND rABEICIUS. Here reposes Aquinus, reunited to his faithful Fabricius, who rejoices in having preceded him to the Elysian retreats. This double altar bears record that each was honoured with the rank of chief centurion ; but that praise is of still greater worth which you read in this shorter inscription : Both were united in the sacred bond of a well-sjpent life, and, ivhat is rarely known to fame, were friends. ^ See Kingsley's Hypatia, c. 5, p. 57, ed. 2. 2 Mamurianus is ridiculed for his sordid and licentious life. He had b\it one eye, as appears from what is said below. Cestus was Martial's servant. ' Names of courtesans, from whom Martial intimates that Mamurianus would accept broken vessels. * A play on the words cuius and oculiis. A common threat was, " Oculos tibi effodiam," often used in Plautus. 72 MABTIAL S Here with Aquinus is Fabricius laid, Rejoiced to find him in the realms of shade. Graved on this tomb is either soldier's name ; Alike their friendship, and alike their fame. Hodgson. XCIV. AD ^GLEK FELLATEICEM. Cantasti male, dum fututa es, ^gle. Jam cantas bene ; basianda non es.^ O Egle,^ nei tempi che fosti immembrata cantavi male. Ora che canti bene, la tua boeca fa schifo. Graglia. XCY. TO ^LIUS. In constantly making a clamour, and obstructing the pleaders with your noise, ^Elius, you act not without an object ; you look for pay to hold your tongue. That bawlers you outbawl, the busy crush, No idler you, who bring to sale your hush. Elphinston. XCVI. TO HIS TERSE, ON A LICENTIOUS CHAEACTER. If it is not disagreeable, and does not annoy you, my verse, say, I prithee, a word or two in the ear of our friend Mater- nus, so that he alone may hear. That admirer of sad-colour- ed coats, clad in the costume of the banks of the river Baetis, and in grey garments, who deems the Avearers of scarlet not men, and calls amethyst-coloured robes the dress of wo- men, however much he may praise natural hues, and be al- ways seen in dark colours, has at the same time morals of an extremely flagrant hue.^ Tou will ask whence I suspect him of effeminacy. We go to the same baths ; ^ Do you ask me who this is ? His name has escaped me. My darling muse, if 't is no troublous task, Or painful toil, let me one favour ask. Olim, quanquam mal^ cantabas, nee tamen naturae adversabaris, om- nes te basiare volebant ; nunc autem, cum os tuum foedaveris, quis te basiabit ? 2 Galbinos habet mores. Galbimis is a diminutive from galbus, yellow; and as clothes of that colour were thought too gay, the word was used in the signification of effeminate. ^ Aspicit nihil sursum, Sed spectat oculis devorantibus draucos Nee otiosis mentulis videt labris. BOOK I.] EPIGEAMS. 73 Go, drop these few in our Maternus' ear ; But so that he, and only he, shall hear. Yon sallow lover of the sad array. Whom Bsetis ever clothes, or motley grey, Who none, in scarlet, can esteem as men ; Who all, empurpled, would With females pen ; Who hugs the native hue, detests all dye, Unless, perhaps, what saves from glare the eye : Though offuscation overcast his whole, Galbanian manners tinge his inmost soul. Inquiry, of the who, my course has stopp'd. Inquirer, pardon : I the name have dropp'd. Elphinston. XCVII. TO NiEYOLrS. When every one is talking, then and then only, Nsevolus, do you open your mouth ; and you think yourself an advocate and a pleader. In such a way every one may be eloquent. But see, everybody is silent ; say something now, Nsevolus. Still in a crowd of noise thy voice is heard, And think' st thyself a lawyer for thy prattle ; On this account each man that wears a beard May be as wise. Lo, all men peace ! Now prattle. Fletcher. XCVIII. TO PLACCTJS, OS DTODOEUS. Diodorus goes to law, Flaccus, and has the gout in his feet. But he pays his counsel nothing; surely he has the gout also in his hands. Thou 'st gouty feet, yet stoutly dost withstand . At law, and pay'st no fees the court demand : Is not the gout, Diodore, in thy hand ? Anon. 1695. XCIX. TO CALENUS. But a short time since, Calenus, you had not quite two millions of sesterces ; but you were so prodigal and open- handed, and hospitable, that all your friends wished you ten millions. Heaven heard the wish and our prayers ; and within, I think, six months, four deaths gave you the de- sired fortune. But you, as if ten millions had not been left to you, but taken from you, condemned yourself to such absti- nence, wretched man, that you prepare even your most sump- tuous feasts, which you provide only once in the whole year, 74 maetial's at the cost of but a few dirty pieces of black coin ; and we, seven of your old companions, stand you in just half a pound of leaden money. What blessing are we to invoke upon you worthy of such merits ? "We wish you, Calenus, a fortune of a hundred millions. If this falls to your lot, you ^ill die of hunger. When some time since you had not clear Above three hundred pounds a year, You lived so well, your bounty such. Your friends all wish'd you twice as much : Heaven with our wishes soon complied ; In six months four relations died. But you, so far from having more, Seem rolDb'd of what you had before : A greater miser every day. Live in a cursed starving way : Scarce entertain us once a year ; And then not worth a groat the cheer : Seven old companions, men of sense, Scarce cost you now as many pence. What shall we wish you on our part ? What wish can equal your desert ? Thousands a year may heaven grant ! Then you will starve, and die for want ! Ray. Possess'd of scarce three hundred clear, j How blithely roll'd the lib'ral year ! So kind thy hand, thy heart so free, 'T was almost prodigality : Each friend made happy wish'd thee more, Thy worth increasing with thy store. Heav'n has indulged the grateful call : Seven moons revolved, profusely fall The showers of wealth, the kindred breath Four darts unerring closed in death. While thou, as not a mite were left, As of thy little all bereft, Where Joy should smile bidst Avarice frown, Dimm'd every gem in Plenty's crown ! In annual pomps we coldly greet One solitary sumptuous treat. The treat to glut thy sordid pride Cheaply from basest coin supply'd To seven choice friends ; your choicest food As your light guineas light and good. BOOK I.] EPIGEAMS. 75 What prayers shall now engage the friend ? Prayers for thy riches without end : That meagre Famine death will give To him whose meanness does not live. E. B. Greene, 1774. C. ON ArKA. Afra talks of her papas and her mammas ; but she hersell may be called the grandmamma of her papas and mammas. Though papa and mamma, my dear, So prettily you call, Yet you, methinks, yourself appear The grand-mamma of all. Bouquet, 1784. CI. ON THE DEATH OF HIS AMANUENSIS DEMETEIUS. Demetrius, whose hand was once the faithful confidant of my verses, so useful to his master, and so well known to the Caesars, has yielded up his brief life in its early prime. A fourth harvest had been added to his years, which previously numbered fifteen. That he might not, however, descend to the Stygian shades as a slave, I, when the accursed disease had seized and was withering him, took precaution, and re- mitted to the sick youth all my right over him as his master ; he was worthy of restoration to health through my gift.^ He appreciated, with failing faculties, the kindness which he had received ; and on the point of departing, a free man, to the Tartarean waters, saluted me as his patron. That hand, to all my labours once so true, Which I so loved, and which the Caesars knew ; Forsook the dear Demetrius' blooming prime : Three lustres and four harvests all his time. That not to Styx a slave he should descend, When fell contagion urged him to his end ; We cheer'd, with all our rights, the pining boy. Oh ! that the convalescent could enjoy. He tasted his reward, his patron bless' d, And went a free man to eternal rest. El^Umton, CII. TO LTCOEIS. The painter who drew your Yenus, Lycoris, paid court, I suppose, to Minerva.2 ^ /. e., would that my gift could have restored him to health. 2 Represented Venus less heautiful than she is, in order to please Mi- nerva, her rival for the golden apple. 76 That Painter sure, Lycoris, meant to shew Favour to Pallas, who thy Venus drew. May. cm. TO SC^VOLA. " If the gods were to give me a fortune of a million ses- terces," you used to say, Scsevola, before you were a full knight,^ "oh how would I live! how magnificently, how happily ! " The complaisant deities smiled and granted your wish. Since that time your toga has become much more dirty, your cloak worse ; your shoe has been sewn up three and four times ; of ten olives the greater portion is always put by, and one spread of the table serves for two meals ; the thick dregs of pink Vejentan wine are your drink ; a plate of lukewarm peas costs you a penny ; your mistress a penny likewise. Cheat and liar, let us go before the tribunal of the gods ; and either live, Scsevola, as befits you, or restore to the gods your million sesterces. Thou saidst when yet thou hadst not a knight's fee, " K Heaven would grant four thousand pounds to me, Oh ! in what ease, what splendour, I would live ! " The easy gods smiled, and the sum did give. But then thy gown was sordid ; cloak, thread-bare ; Shoes thrice and four times clouted thou didst wear. Of poor ten oUves, some were still set up ; On the same meat thou usest twice to sup ; Lees of wine served, that at Veientus grew, A pen'orth o' peas, a penny mistress too. We '11 sue the cheat : live better, or refund Unto the gods thou 'st mock'd four thousand pound. Anon. 1695. CIV. ON A SPECTACLE 11^ THE AEENA. "When we see the leopard bear upon his spotted neck a light and easy yoke, and the furious tigers endure with pa- tience tlie blows of the whip ; the stags champ the golden curbs ; the Libyan bears tamed by the bit ; a boar, huge as that which Calydon is said to have produced, obey the purple muzzle ; the ugly buffaloes drag chariots, and the elephant, when ordered to dance nimbl}^, pay prompt obedience to his swarthy leader ; who would not imagine such things a spec- ^ That is, before you had four hundred thousand sesterces ; which was the fortune that a man must have before he could be a knight. BOOK 1.] EPIQEAMS. 77 tacle given by tlie gods ? These, however, any one disre- gards as of inferior attraction who sees the condescension of the lions, which the swift-footed timorous hares fatigue in the chase. They let go the little animals, catch them again, and caress them when caught, and the latter are safer in their captors' mouths than elsewhere ; since the lions delight in granting them free passage through their open jaws, and in holding their teeth as with fear, for they are ashamed to crush the tender prey, after having just come from slaying bulls. This clemency does not proceed from art ; the lions know whom they serve. On painted neck the pard sustains The tender yoke, and loves the reins. The furious tiger knows the crack, And timely takes the keenest smack. The staggard champs the golden bit : The Libyan bears to chains submit. A beast, hke Caly don's of yore, Boasts headbands never bristler wore. The shapeless buffler draws the wain : The monster moves beneath the chain Of his black ruler, and obeys, As bid to earn the prancer's praise. Worthy the gaze of gods are all : Yet mortals will pronounce them small, When they the humble hunts admire Of Hons, whom the lev'rets tire. Behold them seized, and now let go ; Now see them swallow'd by the foe. Yet safer in the mouth the prey, Than when it farthest flies away The fondling jaws all pervious hang. How dextrous is the timid fang ! To hurt a hare, they grin with shame, Who late the stoutest steers o'ercame. Art ne'er produced the pitying play : They know what master they obey. Elphinston, CV. TO QXJINTUS OYIDIUS. The wine, Ovidius, which is grown in the Nomentan fields, in proportion as it receives the addition of years, puts oflT, through age, its character and name ; and the jar thus ancient receives whatever name you please.^ ^ Being mellowed by age, it may be called Falernian, Cecuban, or any other name given to the best wines. Elphinston. 78 maetial's The pure, my Ovid, from Nomentan vines, If all-improving age's smile she boast ; Her nature and her name at once resigns, For th' appellation that endears her most. CYI. TO EUFUS. Bufus, you often pour water into your wine, and, if hard pressed by your companion, you drink just a cup now and then of diluted Falernian. Pray, is it that Nsevia has pro- mised you a night of bliss ; and you prefer by sobriety to enhance your enjoyment? You sigh, you are silent, you groan: she has refused you. You may drink, then, and often, cups of four-fold size, and drown in wine your concern at her cruelty. Why do you spare yourself, Eufus ? You have nothing before you but to sleep. Rufus, I must plainly deal, Since you will your water steal ; And, though prompted by a friend, 'Scarce a drop of wine will blend ; Naughty Naevia, in her spite, Promised you a pleasing night : And you sober will prefer Jocund certainty with her. Lo ! you sigh, look wise, and groan : She denies ? my Rufus, own. Therefore drink your sorrow down, And your shame in goblets drown. Neither wise it now, nor weep : Hapless Rufus, you must sleep. Elphinston. CVII. TO LTJCIUS JULITJS. You often say to me, dearest Lucius Julius, " Write some- thing great : you take your ease too much." Grive me then leisure, — but leisure such as that which of old Maecenas gave to his Horace and his Virgil, — and I would endeavour to write something which should live through time, and to snatch my name from the flames of the funeral pyre. Steers are un- willing to carry their yoke into barren fields. A fat soil fa- tigues, but the very labour bestowed on it is delightful. " Write some brave piece ; thou 'rt lazy ! " often thus Thou dost reprove me, dearest Julius. BOOK I.] EPIGEAMS. 79 Give mee but ease such as Macenas gave To Horace and to Virgill, thou shalt have Such Hues as shall live to eternity, And rayse my name above mortality. In barren grounds what bootes the oxen's toyle ? Labour 's rewarded in the richer soyle. OldMS.lVh Cent Most famous Julius, thou sayst oft to me, " Thou 'rt idle ; write things for eternity." Give me such boons, I cry, such as of old Horace and Virgil from their patron hold, I '11 strive to raise my cares beyond time's date, And snatch my name from fire's consuming hate. The ox on barren fields his yoke won't bear ; A fat soil tires, but yet the labour 's dear. FletcJier. CVIII. TO GALLUS. You possess — and may it be yours and grow larger through a long series of years — a house, beautiful I admit, but on the other side of the Tiber. But my garret looks upon the laurels of Agrippa ; and in this quarter I am already grown old. I must move, in order to pay you a morning call, Grallus, and you deserve this consideration, even if your house were still farther off. But it is a small matter to you, Gallus, if I add one to the number of your toga-clad visitors ; while it is a great matter to me, if I withhold that one. I myself wiU frequently pay my respects to you at the tenth hour.' This morning my book shall wish you " good day " in my stead. May thy fair farm (though beyond Tiber's site), As it does now, thee more and more delight ! My rooms Vipsanian laurels do behold. In the which region I am now grown old : A journey 't is, to give thee the good morn, But such thou art, though farther, to be borne. One gown-man more, yet were not much to thee, Though to detain this one is much to me. My book shall th' early ave for me pay. And I 'U attend when ended is the day. Anon. 1695. CIX. OS A PET DOG AND THE PAINTEE. Issa is more playful than the sparrow of Catullus. Issa ^ The tenth hour from sunrise, corresponding to our four o'clock in the afternoon. See B. iv. Ep. 8. 80 maetial's is more pure than the kiss of a dove. Issa is more loving than any maiden. Issa is dearer than Indian gems. The little dog Issa is the pet of Publius. If she complains, you will think she speaks. She feels both the sorrow and the gladness of her master. She lies reclined upon his neck, and sleeps, so that not a respiration is heard from her. And, however pressed, she has never sullied the coverlet with a single spot ; but rouses her master with a gentle touch of her foot, and begs to be set down from the bed and relieved. Such modesty resides in this chaste little animal; she knows not the pleasures of love ; nor do we find a mate worthy of so tender a damsel. That her last hour may not carry her off wholly, Publius has her limned in a picture, in which you will see an Issa so like, that not even herself is so like herself. In a word, place Issa and the picture side by side, and you wilL imagine either both real, or both painted. Issa 's more full of sport and wanton play Than that pet sparrow by Catullus sung ; Issa 's more pure and cleanly in her way Than kisses from the amorous turtle's tongue. Issa more winsome is than any girl That ever yet entranced a lover's sight ; Issa 's more precious than the Indian pearl ; Issa 's my Publius' favourite and delight. Her plaintive voice falls sad as one that weeps ; Her master's cares and woes alike she shares ; Softly reclined upon his neck she sleeps, And scarce to sigh or draw her breath she dares. When nature calls, she modestly obeys, Nor on the counterpane one drop will shed ; But warns her lord with gentle foot, and prays That he will raise and lift her from the bed. So chaste is she, of contact so afraid, She knows not Venus' rites, nor do we find A husband worthy of such dainty maid 'Mong all the clamorous suitors of her kind. Her, lest the day of fate should nothing leave, In pictured form my Publius hath portray'd j Where you so lifelike Issa might perceive, That not herself a better likeness made. Issa together with her portrait lay, Both real or both depicted you would say. English Journ. of Education, Jan. 1856. BOOK I.] EPIGEAMS. 81 ex. TO YELOX. Tou complain, Yelox, that the epigrams which I -write are long. Tou yourself write nothing ; your attempts are shorter.' You say my epigrams, Velox, too long are : You nothing write ; sure yours are shorter far. Wright. Velox complains my epigrams are long. While he writes none : he sings a shorter song. Fletcher. CXI. TO EEGULTJS, ON SENDING HIM A BOOK AND A PRESENT or PEANKINCENSE. Since your reputation for wisdom, and the care which you bestow on your labours, are equal, and since your piety is not inferior to your genius, he who is surprised that a book and incense are presented to you, Eegulus, is ignorant how to adapt presents to deserts. In thee, while reason and religion shine, While wit and wisdom beam alike divine ; Gifts adequate he knows not to bestow, Who 'd give a book, and bid no incense glow. Elphinston. CXII. ON PEISCUS, A TJSUEEE. When I did not know you, I used to address you as my lord and king. Now, since I know you well, you shall be plain Prisons with me. I styled thee lord and king, while yet unknown ; Plain Priscus now 's the most that thou canst own. Anon. 1695. ^ knew thee not : I hail'd thee lord and king. I know thee ; and plain Priscus is the thing. Mphinston. CXIII. TO THE EEADEE. If, reader, you wish to employ some good hours badly, and are an enemy to your own leisure, you will obtain whatever sportive verses I produced in my youth and boyhood, and all my trifles, which even I myself have forgotten, from Quin- * Imperfect ; abortive ; ending in nothing. a 82 maetial's tus Pollius Yalerianus, who has resolved not to let my light effusions perish. Reader of my roguish lay, "Would' St thou con a stripling-play, Which a friend will never show, "WTiich myself could hardly know ? Would'st thou waste a golden hour, And abuse thy precious power ? Thou to Pollius must apply. Who forbids my trash to die. Elphinston. CXIY. TO rATJSTINUS. These gardens adjoining your domain, Paustinus, and these small fields and moist meadows, Telesphorus Fsenius owns. Here he has deposited the ashes of his daughter, and has consecrated the name, which you read, of Antulla ; — though his own name should rather have been read there. It had been more just that the father should have gone to the Stygian shades ; but, since this was not permitted, may he live to honour his daughter's remains. Next, Faustin, thine, confess a Faenius' sway ; Whom modest lawns and oozy meads obey. Here his AntuUa's urn receives his moan : Her name he hallow' d, mourning not his own. The sire, as just, had woo'd the Stygian shade ; But sad survives, to see her honours paid. M])hinston. CXY. TO PEOCILLUS. A certain damsel, envious Procillus, is desperately in love with me, — a nymph more white than the spotless swan, than silver, than snow, than lily, than privet : already you wiU be thinking of hanging yourself. But I long for one darker than night, than the ant, than pitch, than the jack-daw, than the cricket. If I know you well, Procillus, you wiU spare your life.^ Me a damsel dotes upon, Fairer than the fairest swan ; Silver, snow ; than Hly, privet ; Or what else the soul can rivet. ^ The translation of this epigram is in conformity with the order of the lines in the common editions, which seems preferable to that in Schnei- dewin's. BOOK I.] EPTGEAMS. 83 One I love as black as night, ack-daw, pitch, ant, cricket, sprite. Poor Procillus thought to swing : Now he thinks of no such thing. ElpMnstoi/ . CXYI. ON THE TOMB OF AlfTULLA. This grove, and these fair acres of cultivated land, Faenius has consecrated to the eternal honour of the dead. In this tomb is deposited AntuUa, too soon snatched from her family : in this tomb each of her parents will be united to her. If any one desires this piece of ground, I warn him not to hope for it ; it is for ever devoted to its owners. CXTII. TO LTJPERCUS. Whenever you meet me, Lupercus, you constantly say, " Shall I send my servant, for you to give him your little book of Epigrams, which I will read and return to you di- rectly ? " There is no reason, Lupercus, to trouble your ser- vant. It is a long journey, if he wishes to come to the Pirus ; ^ and I live up three pairs of stairs, and those high ones. What you want you may procure nearer at hand. Tou frequently go down to the Argiletum : opposite Cesar's fo- rum is a shop, with pillars on each side covered over with titles of books, so that you may quickly run over the names of all the poets. Procure me there ; you will no sooner ask Atrectus, — such is the name of the owner of the shop, — than he will give you, from the first or second shelf, a Martial, well smoothed with pumice-stone, and adorned with purple, for five denarii, "You are not worth so much," do you say ? Tou are right, Lupercus. As oft, Sir Tradewell, as we meet, You 're sure to ask me in the street, When you shall send your boy to me, To fetch my book of poetry ; And promise you '11 but read it o'er, And faithfully the loan restore : But let me tell you as a friend, You need not take the pains to send : 'T is a long way to where I dwell. At farther end of Clerkenwell : ' The pear-tree. The name of some spot near which Martial Hved. o 2 84 maetial's EPiaEAMs. [book I. There m a garret near the sky, Above five pair of stairs, I lie. But if you 'd have what you pretend, You may procure it nearer hand : j.n CornhiU, where you often go, Hard by th' Exchange, there is, you know, A shop of rhyme, where you may see The posts all clad in poetry : There H lives of high renown. The noted'st Tory in the town : Where, if you please, inquire for me ; And he, or 's prentice, presently From the next shelf will reach you down The piece well bound for half a crown. The price is much too dear, you cry. To give for both the book and me : Yes, doubtless, for such vanities ; We know, sir, you are too, too wise. Oldham. CXYIII. TO C^DICIAKtrS. For him who is not satisfied with reading a hundred epi- grams, no amount of trouble is sufficient, Csedicianus. He who a hundred epigrams reads o'er. No ill 's enough for him, if he wants more. Anon. 1695. If a thousand arch epigrams are not enough. Never wilt thou be sated, kind reader, with stuff. Elphinston. EPIGRAMS. BOOK II. TO HIS TEIEND, DECIANUS. " What do I want," say you, " witli a letter ? Do I not snow you sufficient indulgence by reading your epigrams ? Besides, what have you to say in this letter, which you could not say in your verses ? I see why tragic and comic writers admit a prologue, — because they are not allowed to speak for themselves. But epigrams have no need of a herald, and are contented with their own liberty of speech. In whatever page they please, they present an epistle. Do not, therefore, I pray, do a ridiculous thing, and clap a long dress on a person going to dance.' Consider, too, whether you woidd choose a wand as a weapon against a retiarius.^ Por myself, I take my seat amongst those who at once object to a contest so un- equal." Indeed, Decianus, methinks you say what is just. Is it possible that you knew with what sort of an epistle, and how long a one, you were in danger of being occupied ? Be it, then, as you desire. Whatever readers light upon this book, will owe it to you that they come to the first page without being tired. I. TO HIS BOOK. You could, I admit, have contained three hundred epi- grams ; but who, my book, would have contained himself at you, and read you through ? Yet learn, what are the * The common reading is here followed, togam saltanti inducere persona . Schneidewin has in toga saltanti inducere personam. * An epistle, says Raderus, is of no more use as a defence against the critics than a wand against the weapon of the retiarius. ^6 maetial's advantages of a sliort book. The first is, that I waste less paper. The next, that the copier finishes it in one hour, and his services will not be confined only to my trifles. A third advantage is, that if any one happens to read you, you will not, though ever so bad, be detested. A person at table will begin to read you with his wine mixed, and finish you before the cup set before him begins to grow warm. ^ Do you imagine that by such brevity you are secure from all objec- tion ? Alas! to how many will you even tbus be too long ! Three hundred epigrams thou might'st contain, But who, to read so many, can sustain ? Hear T\-hat in praise of brevity is said. First, less expense and waste of paper 's made ; The printer's labour, next, does sooner end, And to more serious works he may attend ; Thirdly, to whomsoe'er thou shalt be read, Though naught, not tedious yet thou canst be said ; Again, in length whilst thou dost not abound, Thou mayst be heard while yet the cups go round ; And when this caution 's used, alas ! I fear To many yet thou wilt too long apnear. Anon. 1695. II. TO DOMITIAN. Crete gave a great name, Africa a greater, to their con- querors, Metellus and Scipio ; a still nobler name did Grer- many confer on thee, Caesar, from the subjugation of the Rhine ; and even as a boy thou wast worthy of that name. Thy brother 2 earned his triumphs over Idumsea, with the assistance of thy father ; ^ the laurel which is given from the conquest of the Catti is all thy own. Great was the Libyan, great the Cretan fame, Adorning Scipio's and Metellus' name : Laurels more glorious from the vanquish'd Rhine, In op'ning youth, round Caesar's temples twine. His sire and brother laid Idume low, He triumph'd singly o'er the German foe. Hodgson. III. TO SEXTUS. You owe nothing, Sextus ; you owe nothing, Sextus, I admit ; for he only owes, Sextus, who can pay. ^ His wine having been mixed with snow, or very cold water. See B. v Ep.64. 2 Titus. 3 Vespasian. BOOK II.] EPIGRAMS. 87' Sextus owes nought, nor fears his quarter-day; 'T is true ; he owes most truly that can pay. Fletcher. You say, you nothing owe ; and so I say : He only owes, who something hath to pay. ^<3y. IT. ON" AMMIAIflJS. Oh, how caressing, Ammianus, are you with your mother ! how caressing, Ammianus, is your mother with you ! She calls you brother ; you call her sister. Why do such strange titles of affection delight you ? Why are you not content to be what you are ? Do you think this an amusement and a jest ? It is not so. A mother, who desires to be a sister, is not satisfied with being either mother or sister. To thy mother, ah ! how kind ! Parent, ah ! how kind to thee ! Brother thou, and sister she ! Why to novel names incHned ? Than ye are, pray, why be other ? Jest ye think it : vile the shame ! Mother, wishing sister's name, Would not sister be, nor mother. Elphhiston. V. TO DECIATfUS. May I perish, Decianus, if I should not like to be with you all day, and all night ! But there are two miles that separate us ; and these become four, when I have to return. Tou are often not at home : even when you are, you are oft- en denied ; or you have leisure only for your law business or your private concerns. To see you, however, I have no objection to go two miles ; but I have great objection to go four miles not to see you. With you, dear Tom, I 'd often spend the day, And laugh, and chat, and trifle life away ; But ten long miles, you know, divide us twain ; Those ten make twenty, measured back again. Then, o'er the downs with patience should I come, You 're always out, at least you 're not at home ; Or busy, or engaged in rh)Tne and metre. Or with your child, that entertaining creature ! In short, to see my friend ten miles I 'd go ; But twenty not to see you '11 never do. Rev. R. Graves. 88 maetial's May I not live, but, were it in my power, With thee I 'd pass both day and night each hour. Two miles I go to see you ; and two more When I return ; and two and two make four. Often denied ; often from home you 're gone : Are busy oft ; and oft would be alone. Two miles, to see you, give me no great pain : Four, not to see you, go against the grain. Hay. In some vile hamlet let me live forgot, Small-beer my portion, and no wine my lot ; To some worse fiend in church indentures bound Than ancient Job or modern Sherlock found, And with more aches plagued, and pains, and ills, Than fill our Salmon's works or Tilburgh's bills ; If 't is not still the burden of my prayer, The night with you, with you the day to share. But, sir (and the complaint you know is true). Two damn'd long miles there lie 'twixt me and you ; And these two miles, by help of calculation. Make four by that I 've reach'd my habitation. You 're near sage Will's, the land of mirth and claret j I live stow'd up in a Whitechapel garret. Oft when I 've walk'd so far, your hands to kiss, Flatter'd with thoughts of the succeeding bliss, I 'm told you 're gone to the vexatious Hall, Where with eternal lungs the lawyers bawl ; Or else stol'n out, some female friend to see ; Or, what 's as bad, you 're not at home for me. Two miles I 've at your service, and that 's civil ; But to trudge four, and miss you, is the devil. Tom Browne. VI. TO SEYERTJS. Gro now, and bid me publish my little books. When you have scarcely read a couple of pages, you look at the last page, Severus, and give long yawns. These are those epi- grams which, when I was reciting them, you used to steal and write out in Vitellian tablets.^ These are they which you used to carry one by one in your pockets to every feast, and every theatre. These are they, or (if there are any among them that you do not know) better. Of what use is it for ' Small tablets, on which love letters and other light matters were written. See, B. xiv. Ep. 8, and Diet. Antiqq. s. v. Tabulae. BOOK II.] EPIGEAMS. 89 me to make my book so thin, as not to be thicker than a mere roller,^ if it takes you three days to read it through ? Never were compositions intended to amuse more listlessly received. You are fatigued, and lag so soon in your course ; and when you ought to run to Bovillse, you want to unharness your cattle at the temple of the Muses. Gro now, and bid me publish my little books. Bid me now bring forth my spawn. Scarce hast thou two pages past, When thou op'st a piteous yawn, Panting to behold the last These, Severus, are the strains, Thou didst swallow with delight. Treasure with unwearied pains, And on thy best tablets write. Public scenes, and private too. Heard thee these same lays rehearse : Or, if any here are new. Still superior is the verse. What avails my tiny book, How can such a shrimp succeed ; If thou cast so rare a look. That it take three days to read ? Soon the verdant journey cloys. Though so smooth extend the lawn : Stop amid Pierian joys ! Then bid me bring forth my spawn ! Elphinston. VII. TO ATTALUS. You declaim prettily, Attains ; you plead causes prettily : you write pretty histories, pretty verses. You compose pan- tomimes prettily, epigrams prettily ; you are a pretty gram- marian, a pretty astrologer. You sing prettily, Attalus, and you dance prettily : you are a pretty hand with the lyre, a pretty hand with the ball. Since you do nothing well, and yet everything prettily, shall I tell you what you are ? You are a great busybody. ^ Nullo crassior ut sit umbilico. The umbilicus was the ornament at the end of the stick on which parchment was rolled. 90 maetial's A pretty oratour and pleeder, hee ; Pretty in history and poetry ; Pretty grammarian, epigrammatist; Pretty astrologer and humorist : Hee singeth prettyly, and danceth so ; Playes prettyly o' the lute, at tennis too. Hee that doth nothing well, all prettyly, A very idle-busy-man must bee. Old MS. 16M Cent. Yes, you 're a pretty preacher. Sir, we know it, Write pretty novels, are a pretty poet ; A pretty critic, and tell fortunes too ; Then, who writes farce or epigrams like you ? At every ball how prettily you nick it ! You fiddle, sing, play prettily at cricket. Yet, after all, in nothing you excel. Do all things prettily, but nothing well. "What shall I call you ? say the best I can, You are, my friend, a very busy man. Bev. B. Graves. Fine lectures Attains rehearses. Pleads finely, writes fine tales and verses ; Fine epigrams, fine farces vie With grammar and astrology ; He finely sings, and dances finely : Plays tennis : fiddles most divinely All finely done, and nothing well : Then, if a man the truth may tell. This all-accomplish'd Punchinello Is a most busy, idle fellow. Elton. VIII. TO THE HEADER. If in these pages of mine, reader, anything seem to you too obscure, or written in too homely language, the fault is not mine : the copier did the mischief, in his over-anxiety to give you the full amount of verses. But if you shall deem, not him, but me to be the culprit, then I shall believe you to have no understanding. "But still those verses of yours are bad." As if I would deny what is evident ! They are bad • but you do not write better. Reader, if in theise bookes aught seeme to want. As too obscure or little elegant; 'T is nott my fault, the printer must bee blam'd. Who, too much hast'ning, at thy pleasure aym'd. BOOK II.] EPIGEAMS. 91 If still you thinke 't my errour and nott his, I shall believe your breast not candid is. They 'r badd, you '11 say — well, that for granted take ; Though theise be badd, you cannot better make. Old MS. lea Cent, If in my leaves aught, reader, to thee seem Obscure, or which less Latin thou dost deem, To th' printer these impute, not me ; who, while More books he hastes to vend, cares not how vile. If yet thou think'st not him, but me, to blame, Thou fear'st not want of candour to proclaim. But still my verse for naught thou dost decry : As if what 's manifest I would deny. Naught be they then : but them for good ones take, Till thou dost show that thou canst better make. Anon. 1695. Should here and there my squeamish reader smile, At sense unpolish'd, or unchasten'd style ; The flying penman must essay th' excuse, Of pressing haste the volume to produce. But, if thou deem that I alone should smart, I shall pronounce thee void of head and heart. " Yet, sad the stuif ! " Alas ! thou say'st too true ; 'T is very sad : dear reader better do. ElphinstoK. IX. O^ SMYIK. 1 wrote to ISTsevia ; she has sent me no answer : she will not then grant me what I want. But I think that she had read what I wrote : she will then grant it.^ I wrote, she wrote not back ; so won't fulfil. Yet, what I wrote, she read; and therefore will. Elphinston. X. TO POSTTJMTJS. I commend you, Postumus, for kissing me with only half your lip: you may, however, if you please, withhold even the iialf of this half. Are you inclined to grant me a boon still greater, and even inexpressible ? Keep this whole half en- tirely to yourself, Postumus. ^ If she refused to receive my communications, I should despair of pre- vailing on her ; but as she receives them, I hope at length to gain her favour. MAETIAL S Th' embrace thou deign'st with half-lip to bestow, I praise, though thou should' st hence take half away. Give me a nobler, nameless boon to owe, And take the whole of t' other half, I pray. IJlphinston. XI. TO Eiirirs. Though, Eufus, you see Selius with clouded brow ; though you see him walking late in the porticoes ; though you see his heavy look conceal some mournful feeling, his ugly nose nearly touching the earth, his right hand striking his breast, and tearing his hair, he is not bewailing the loss of a friend or brother. Both his sons are alive, — and I pray they may continue to live ! Safe and sound is his wife too, and his furniture, and his slaves ; nor has his farmer or his bailiff wasted any part of his property. What then is the cause of his sadness ? He dines at home. Whence comes it, that old Frank we see Hunting the Mall, thus, after three ? What means that slow and solemn pace ? That cloudy look, and rueful face ? "Why starts he thus, and smites his breast, Like one with secret grief oppress'd ? Prone to the earth his drooping head ! Why sure his wife or child is dead. No, Sir ; for aught that I can tell, Frank's wife and children all are well. And heaven vouchsafe their lives to spare ! For lovely boys and girls they are. As like old Frank as they can stare. His money 's out in proper hands, Or well secured on mortgaged lands. Nor loss of interest or of rent By bankruptcies does Frank lament. Whence is this grief, then ? pry thee say. Why, Sir, Frank dines at home to-day. Rev. R. Grave? See you the cloud on yonder mortal's face Walking the Mall, the last who quits the place : In tragic silence, and in dumps profound, His nose almost draws furrows on the ground : His wig he twitches, and he canes the air. Is he for friend or brother in despair ? 'T is no such thing. Two sons with him do dwell : They both are promising, they both are well : I BOOK II.] EPI&EAMS. 33 So his good wife, for whom we all do pray. Safe are his bags ; nor servants run away : Duly accounts his steward for his rent ; And by his bailiff's care his crops augment. Say, from what cause can such affliction come ? Is there not cause ? ye gods ! he sups at home. Eay. XII. TO POSTUMrS. "What am I to understand from the circumstance, that your kisses always smell of myrrh, and that you never have about you an odour other than unnatural ? That you always smell so agreeably, Postumus, makes me suspect that you have something to conceal. He does not smell pleasantly, Postumus, who always smells pleasantly.^ What 's this that myrrh doth still smell in thy kiss, And that with thee no other odour is ? 'T is doubt, my Postumus, he that doth smell So sweetly alway-s, smells not very well. Fletcher. How strong thou savour'st myrrh's perfume ! What foreign odours round thee scent ! They give us shrewdly to presume. That they are not for nothing lent. Elphinston. That thou dost, Casho, breathe of foreign gums, Enough to put thy mistress into fits : Though Rome thy hair, and Spain thy gloves perfume, Few like, but all suspect those borrow'd sweets ; The gifts of various nature come and go. He that smells always well does never so. Sedley. XIII. TO SEXTTJS., The judge wants money, and the counsel wants money. Pay your creditor, Sextus, I should advise.^ At money, money, judge and pleader aim : The creditor's I deem the primal claim. Mphinston. XIV. TO PAULINUS. Nothing does Selius leave untried, nothing unattempted, whenever he sees that he must dine at home. He runs to » See B. vi. Ep. 55. Plaut. Mostell. i. 3. 106. 2 Pay your creditor without ligitation. 94 maetial's the portico of Europa, and praises you, Paulinus, and your Achillean swiftness of foot, without ceasing. If Europa does nothing for him, he then goes to the enclosures, to see whether he can gain anything from the sons of Phillyra and ^son.' Disappointed here likewise, he next haunts the Memphitic temple of Isis,^ and seats himself near the seats of that sad heifer. Prom this place he goes to the palace suspended upon a hundred columns ;^ thence to the monument of Pom- peius' magnificence* and his double grove. Nor does he disdain the baths of Portunatus, or those of Paustus, or the confined and dark ones of Grryllus, or the windy ones of Lupus. As to the warm baths, he bathes in them again and again and again. After doing everything, but without the favour of heaven, he runs back, well washed, to the box- grove of the warm Europa, in case some belated friend may be taking his way there. By thyself, amorous Bull, and by thy mistress, whom thou carriedst ofi", do thou, I implore, in- vite Selius to dinner.^ Nothing does Selius unattempted leave, When he 's to sup at home he doth conceive. He toots to th' Race, where, Paulus, he will swear Thy feet are swifter than Achilles' were. Nothing here got, the Place of Votes he tries. If aught will come from the ^sonides. Where failing too, to th' Memphian temple next, Near the sad Heifer, calf's-head sits perplex'd. Thence runs to th' Porch a hundred props sustain, To Pompey's Arch and Groves, nor does disdain The vulgar baths, which Gryllus, Lupus, keep, One on the hill, the othei low and deep. Where having bathed in aU, and all in vain, No pitying god fav'ring his glutt'nous pain, Back to the Race he flies, to see if there Some friend be yet taking the evening air. Th' adjoining Porch, of various paintings full, Shows fair Europa borne upon a bull. 1 ^ Chiron, son of the nymph Phillyra ; Jason, son of uEson. The enclo- sures were the pens in which the citizens assembled to vote. ' Isis was supposed by many to be the same as lo, who was changed into a heifer by Jupiter. 3 Centum pendentia tecta columnis, i. e. the portico of Agrippa. * The portico of Pompeius. * Take Selius out of this life, Jupiter, that he may dine with thee. BOOK IT.] EPIGRAMS. 95 Jove, I adjure thee by the virgin bright, Make forlorn Selius thy own guest this night ! Anon. 1695. XV. TO HOEMTJS. In offering to no one the cup from which you drink, you give a proof, Hormus, not of pride, but of kindness. ^ That unto others your owne cupp 's deny'd, Hormus, 't is your civility, not pride. Old MS. mth Cent Hormus, because thou giv'st thy cup to none, It is not proudly, but humanely done. Fletcher. That, when thou 'st drunk, thou offer'st none thy glass, Ought not for pride, but for good breeding pass. 1. 1695. That thou present'st thy cup to none beside. Is thy humanity ; and not thy pride. Elphimton. XYI. AGAINST ZOILUS. Zoilus is ill : his gorgeous bed is the cause of this fever. If he vrere well, of what use would be these scarlet coverlets, this bed brought from the banks of the Nile, or this, steeped in the perfumes of Sidon ? What but an illness displays such idle wealth ? What have you to do with physicians ? Dismiss all your Machaons. If you wish to get well, use my bed- clothes. Zoilus is sick ; his rich stuff makes him so : If he were well, what should his scarlets do ? His bed from Nile ? his hangings dyed at Tyre ? He 's sick, we may his sottish wealth admire. Dismiss the doctors, the Machaons all, To make him well, for my rug only call. Anon. 1695. Vainlove is ill : his illness is his bed. Made up of chintz and silks prohibited : Near it an Indian screen, and work'd settee. Inflame his fever to a high degree. When he is well, these fopperies are not seen : They make him sick, and give us too the spleen. Dismiss his doctors, and apply my spell ; Let him change beds with me, and he '11 be well. Hay. * Hormus had bad breath. 96 maetial's XYII. TO AMMIANTJS At tlie very entrance of the Suburra, where hang the blood- stained whips of the torturers,^ and where many a cobbler blocks up the Argiletum,^ sits a female hair-cutter. But that female cutter, Ammianus, does not cut hair. "Does not cut hair?" you say. "What does she then?" She shaves.^ Where first Suburra sits to urge, Where chastisement displays the scourge ; Where many a cordTvainer once more Dares honest Argus' death deplore ; Thy chpster, Ammian, does not clip : She tenders thee her ev'ry slip. She does not clip, you say ? What 's braver. If not a cHpster, she 's a shaver. Mphimton. XTIII. TO MAXIMUS. I court your dinner ; alas ! I am ashamed of doing so, but, Maximus, I court your dinner: you court some one else's ; so we are equal in this matter. I come in the morning to pay my respects to you ; I am told that you are gone already to pay your respects elsewhere : again we are equal. I my- self am of your escort, and walk before my proud patron ; you are of the escort of the other, your patron : again we are equal. It is bad enough to be a servant ; but I object to be the servant of a servant. One who is a patron himself, Maximus, should not have a patron. I haunt your table, led by my ill star : And you another's : — then we 're on a par. Your levee I frequent : and you go far Unto another's : — still we 're on a par. I, your led captain, walk before you bare : You are another's : — still we 're on a par. Though servant, yet I '11 be no servant's slave : A master should himself no master have. Say. XIX. TO ZOILUS. Do you think, Zoilus, that I am made happy by an in- ^ Where malefactors were punished with scourging. ' See B. i. Ep. 4. ^ She is a cunning shaver ; a courtesan., who scrapes up money from the purses of young men. So the commentators interpret. BOOK II.] EPIGRAMS. 97 vitation to dinner ? Happy by an invitation to dinner, Zoilus, and that dinner yours ? That guest deserves to be a guest at the Aricine Hill,^ who is made happy, Zoilus, by a dinner of yours. Me by a supper thou believest blest : Supremely blest, great Zoilus, by thine ! On the Arician cliff he must recline, Whose ostrich-maw thy supper can digest. Elphinston. XX. ON PAIJLIJS. Paulus buys verses : Paulus recites his own verses ; and wbat you buy you may legally call your own. Bought verses for his own Paul doth recite, For what you buy you may call yours by right. Wnght. Paulus buys verse, recites, and owns them all, For what thou buy'st, thou ma/st thine truly call. Fletcher. Sly Paul buys verse as he buys merchandise, Then for his own he '11 pompously recite it — Paul scorns a lie — the poetry is his — By law his own, although he could not write it. New Monthly Magazine^ 1825. XXI. TO POSTTJMUS. To some, Postumus, you give kisses, to some your right hand. "Which do you prefer?" you say, " choose." I prefer your hand. Posthumus' kisses some must have, And some salute his fist; Thy hand, good Postumus, I crave. If I may choose my list. Fletcher. XXII. TO APOLLO AND THE MUSES. In what have I oflfended you, Apollo, and ye nine Sisters ? For, behold, the Muse of gaiety brings ill to ber poet. Post- umus before used to kiss me with half a lip. Now he has begun to kiss me witb botb lips. ^ Aricia was a town on the Appian way, about twenty miles from Rome ; a noted place for beggars, as appears from Juvenal, Sat. iv. ,u 98 maetial's O Phoebus, and ye Sisters nine, What shall I do with you ? Behold that merry Muse of mine Her poet will undoe. Posthumus late was wont to kisse With half lippes, which I loathe ; But now my plague redoubled is, — He kisses me with both. Fletcher. Phoebus, farewell, farewell, my merry muse, Your poet, who adores you, ye abuse : Postume with one kiss used to let me go, — Pleased with my own, now many doth bestow. Anon. 1695. XXIII. ON POSTUMUS. I will not say, however closely you press me, who is the Postumus of my book. I will not say ; for why should I give offence to these same kisses, which can so well avenge themselves ? No, though thou begg'st a thousand times to know. Who 't is by name of Postumus does go, I will not tell. What need I to offend Such kisses, and their fury 'gainst me bend ? Anon. 1695. XXIV. TO CANDIDUS. " If harsh Fortune should overwhelm you with some terrible accusation, I will attend you in mourning habit, and more pale than a person accused. If she should order you to depart under condemnation from your native land, I will go, through seas, through mountains, your companion in exile." She gives you riches. "Are they the common property of us both ? " Will you give me half? "It is a large sum." Candidus, will you give me anything? You will, then, share with me in misfortune only : but if heaven with smiling countenance shows you favour, you will enjoy your happiness, Candidus, alone. If thy cross fortune sends thee some sad fate, I must persist thy pale and squalid mate ; If from thy country thou must banish'd be, Through seas and rocks I still must follow thee. If riches come, will they be free to many ? Wilt thou give part ? 'T is much. Wilt thou give any ? *T is crosses make thee mine ; when they are gone, Candidus will be happy then alone. Fletcher, BOOK IT.] EPI&EAMS. 99 XXV. TO GALLA. G-alla, you never grant, but always promise, favours to any one that asks them. If you always deceive, I beg you, Galla, for the future, to say " No." Galla dares promise, but makes good no tie : If thou still fail'st, I pray thee once deny. Fletcher. XXVI. TO BITHTNICUS. Because Naevia breathes painfully, and has a severe cough, and often sputters out saliva on your breast, do yoii imagine, Bithynicus, that your fortune is already made ? You are mistaken : N aevia is flattering, not dying. That Nsevia coughs, and groans, and finds no rest. Letting the slaver fall upon her breast ; Thou hop'st Bithynicus, her hour is nigh : Naevia but flatters ; she do n't mean to die. Anon. 1695. That thy wife coughs all night and spits all day, Already thou believ'st thy fortune made, Her whole estate thou think'st thy sudden prey : She will not die, but wheedles like a jade. Sedley. XXVII. OlS^ SELITJS, THE DINNEE-HTJIfTEE. Hark how Selius praises you, when spreading his nets for a dinner, whether you are reading your verses, or pleading at the bar. "Excellent! how sagacious! how ready! how clever! well done ! how successful ! " There, that is all I want ; your supper is earned ; be quiet. Angling for dinner, Charles, at every line I read him, puts me to the blush : " Delicious ! " " charming ! " " exquisite ! " " divine ! " Hush, Charles, you've earn'd your victuals, hush ! N. B. Balked. XXVIII. TO SEXTILLTJS. Kideto multum qui te, Sextille, cinaedum Dixerit, et digitum porrigito medium. Sed nee psedico es nee tu, Sextille, fututor, Calda Vetustinae nee tibi bucca placet. Ex istis nihil es fateor, Sextille : quid ergo es r Nescio, sed tu scis res superesse duas. H 2 L OF C. 100 maetial's Riditi smascellatamente, o Sestillo, di colui che ti chiama cinedo e fagli le ficche. Imperocche tu, o Sestillo, non sei ne un cinedo, ne un' adultero : ne a te piace la focosa bocca di Vetustilla. In nessuna di queste cose, o Sestillo, ti mischi, lo so : cos' e dunque ? Nol so : ma tu sai che ti rimangono due altre cose. Graglia. 'XXIX. TO ETJPUS. Hufas, do you see yon person who is always sitting on the front benches, whose sardonyxed hand glistens even at this distance ; whose cloak has so often drunk deep of the Tyrian dye, and whose toga is made to surpass unspotted snow; him, whose w^ell-oiled hair smells of all the essences from Marcellus' shop, and whose arms look sleek and polished, with not a hair unextracted ? A latchet of later than yesterday's make sits upon his crescent-adorned leg, a scarlet shoe decks his foot unhurt by its pressure, and numerous patches cover his forehead like stars. Aj;e you ignorant what the thing is ? Remove the patches, and you will read his name.^ Seest thou him, Rufus, that does so frequent The nobles' seat ? from whose bright gems are sent Rays to this place, — in twice dipp'd purple goes, Or garments whiter than the driven snow^s : Costly amomum from w^hose locks does flow^ Whose sleek, blanch'd arms no hair upon them show ? The lunar-buckles were not his of old, Nor sandals pinch' d his feet, garnish'd with gold. No secret pains his numerous patches need ; Look underneath, and him a slave you '11 read. Anon. 1695. XXX. ON" CAITJS. I asked, by chance, a loan of twenty thousand sesterces,^ which would have been no serious matter even as a present. He whom I asked was an old acquaintance in good circum- stances, whose money-chest finds difiiculty in imprisoning his overflowing hoards. "Ton will enrich yourself, " was his re- ply, " if you will go to the bar." Give me, Caius, what I ask : I do not ask advice. ^ The patclies being removed, the letters branded upon his forehead, ■which prove him lo have been a slave, will appear. ' About a hundred and sixty pounds of our money. BOOK II.] EPIGEjLMS. ^ 101 When twenty pounds I 'd borrow of a friend, One, who might give me more, as well as lend ; Blest in his fortune ; my companion old ; Whose coffers, and whose purse-strings, crack with gold ; " Turn lawyer, and you '11 soon grow rich," he cries : Give what I ask, my friend : — 't is not advice. Jiay. XXXI. TO MAEIANTJS. I have often made love to Christina. Do you ask how she returns it ? So well, that it is impossible for any one to go beyond her. XXXII. TO PONTICTJS. I have a lawsuit on hand with Balbus : you, Ponticus, are unwilling to offend Balbus : I have one on hand with Lici- nus ; he also is a person of importance. My neighbour Pa- trobas often trespasses on my little field : you are afraid to oppose a freedman of Caesar. Laronia refuses to restore my slave, and keeps him for herself : you tell me " she is child- less, rich, old, a widow." It is idle, believe me, to hope for service from a friend who is himself in service. Let him be a free man, who wishes to be my master. With Balbus I 'm at law : thou nought dar'st do : Licinius next, but he 's a great man too. Patrobas oft trespasses on my field: He 's Caesar's freed man ; 'tis best here to jield. Laronia my servant does deny : She 's rich, old, childless, every hour may die. His patronage it little boots to crave. Who to so many is himself a slave. Anon. 1695. Will and I differ ; — who so great as Will ? Too great for you. — And Tom is greater still. My neighboiu' Cringer trespasseth my land ; You dare not favourites at court withstand. The widow Scrapeall doth my goods withhold ; You answer, she is childless, rich, and old. How can I serve a friend that is not free ? Free be the man, who would my master be. Hay. XXXIII. Olf PHIL^NIS. Why do I not kiss you, Philaenis ? you are bald. WTiy do I not kiss you, Philaenis ? you are carrotty. Why do I not 1C2 maetial's kiss jou, Philsenis ? you are one-eyed. He wlio kisses you, Philaenis, sins against nature. In vain, fond Philaenis, thou woo'st my embrace : Bald, carrotty, one-eyed, thy tripartite grace ! The wretch, poor Philsenis, that would thee salute, Can never aspire to the buss of a brute JElphinston. XXXIV. TO GALLA. In your love for Phileros, whom you have redeemed from slavery vrith your whole dower, you allow your three sons, G-alla, to perish with hunger : so great indulgence do you show to your aged charms, no longer the due objects of even chaste pleasures. May the gods make you for ever the admirer of Phileros ; you, a mother, than whom not even Pontia^ is worse. With your whole dower when Phileros you buy, You let three hopeful sons with hunger die. To hoary love you such indulgence show, As modest Venus hardly deigns to know. To Phileros be doom'd th' eternal whore : Mother more dire than Pontia was before. Elphinston. XXXY. TO PH(EBUS. Since your legs, Phoebus, resemble the horns of the moon, you might bathe your feet in a cornucopia.^ As thy legs mock the horns of a moon incomplete : Thou might'st wash, in a funnel, friend Phoebus, thy feet. Blphinston. XXXYI. TO PANNICTJS. 1 would not have you curl your hair, nor yet would I have you throw it into disorder. Tour skin I would have neither over-sleek nor neglected. Tour beard should be neither that of an effeminate Asiatic, nor that of an accused person.^ I alike detest, Pannicus, one who is more, and one ^ A woman who is said to have poisoned her children. Juv. Sat. vi. 637. 2 The Latin is Rhytium, a vessel narrow at the bottom, and broad at the top, with sides of a crescent shape. See Diet. Antiqq. s. v. Rhyton. 3 Persons under accusation allowed their hair and beards to grow, and assumed a squalid garb, in order to excite compassion. BOOK II.] EPIGEAMS. 103 who is less, than a man. Tour legs and breast bristle with shaggy hail ; but your mind, Paunicus, shows no signs of manliness. Me nor with frizzly shock, nor frowsy hair ; Thy skin nor sleeky shine, nor sordid scare. Thy beard nor girlish, nor as culprit's such ; Be not a man too little, or too much. Pile clothes thy legs, thy breast the bristles suit ; But thy poor mind is pluck'd up by the root. Elphbiston. XXXYII. TO C^CILIAIS^US. Whatever is placed upon table you sweep off right and left ; breast of sow, chine of pork, a woodcock prepared for two guests, half a mullet, and a whole pike, the side of a lamprey, and the leg of a chicken, and a wood-pigeon dripping with its sauce. All these articles, wrapped up in your drip- ping napkin, are handed to your servant to carry home.^ AVe sit by with jaws unemployed. If you have any feeling of shame, replace the dinner on the table : it is not for to-mor- row, Cseciliaiius, that I invited you. You sweep my table : sausages and chine, A capon on which two at least may dine, Smelts, salmon, sturgeon, birds of every feather, Dripping with sauce, you wrap up all together ; And give it to your servant home to bear ; Leaving us nothing, but to sit and stare. For shame, restore the dinner ; ease our sorrow : I did not ask you, sir, to dine to-morrow. Hc^- These carry home thy servant must, All in a greasy napkin thrust, Whilst wee, an idle company, Haveing nought left to eate, sitt by. For shame, restore the meate : I did Not for to-morrow, too, thee bid. Old MS. IWi Cent. XXXVIII. TO LIKUS. Do you ask what profit my Nomentan estate brings me, Linus ? My estate brings me this profit, that I do not see you, Linus. ^ Guests often brought their napkins with them ; see B. xii. Ep. 29 ; and such of them as desired to carry away portions of the viands from ♦Jie table seem to have been allowed to do so. .104 maetial's Linus, dost ask what my field yields to me ? , Even this profit, that I ne' er see thee. Fletcher. Ask you what my Nomentane field brings me ? This, Linus, 'mongst the rest, I ne'er see thee. Wright. What my farm yields me, dost thou urge to know ? This, that I see not thee, when there I go. Anon. 1695. XXXIX. OlSr A PRESENT. Tou give your mistress scarlet and violet- coloured dresses. If you wish to give her suitable presents, send her a toga.^ Linus gives purple and rich scarlet gowns To his notorious and adultrous woman : If thou would'st give what her degree becomes, A loose coat would more fitly stock her common. Fletcher. You give to Alba hoods, and scarfs, and lace ; Give her a mask to hide her whorish face. Gentleman's Mag. vol. xvi. p. 100. XL. OIT TOTS'GILIUS. Tongilius is reported to be consumed wdth a semi-tertian fever. I know the cunning of the man ; he has a hunger- and-thirst fever. He is now craftily spreading nets for fat thrushes, and throwing out a hook for mullet and pike. He wants strained Csecuban wine, and wine ripened in the year of Opimius ; and dark Falernian w^hich is stored in small fla- gons. All the doctors have ordered Tongilius to bathe. Fools I do they think it is a case of fever ? It is disease of the throat. 2 That Tongelin is feverish, many think ; I know the man ; he wants choice meat and drink. Straight for fat thrush and cocks springes are set ; For pike and carp 's employ' d the casting net ; Purveyance for old Caecuban is made. Such as the sound drink sparing and allay'd ; Bathing, phjsicians with one voice prescribe: To cure his fever, fools, his belly bribe. Anon. 1695. XLI. TO MAXIMIN^A. "Laugh if thou art wise, girl, laugh," said, I believe, the poet of the Peligui.^ But he did not say this to aU girls. ^ The stola was the dress of the Roman matron. Courtesans and adul- teresses were compelled by law to wear the toga^ the attire of the other sex. 2 He pretends to be ill, that his friends may send him dainties. 2 Ovid, born at Suhno, a town of the Peligni. BOOK II.] EPIGEAMS. - 105 Granting, however, that he did say it to all girls, he did not say it to you : you are not a girl, Maximina, and you have but three teeth, and those plainly the colour of pitch and of boxwood. If, therefore, you believe your mirror and -me, you should shrink from laughing as much as Spanius dreads the wind, Priscus a touch,^ Fabulla, with chalked face, a rain-cloud, or Sabella, painted with white-lead, the sun. Put on a countenance more severe than the consort of Priam, and his eldest daughter-in-law. Avoid the pantomimes of the amusing Philistion, and gay feasts, and whatever by its wit and mirth distends the lips with broad laughter. It befits you to sit by the side of an afilicted mother, of a wife lamenting for her husband, or a sister for her afiectionate brother, and to seek your recreation only with the tragic Muse. Take my advice, and weep if thou art wise, girl, weep. " Laugh, my girle, laugh, if you bee wise ; " Ovid, I take it, gave advice. But nott to all advised it hee ; Or if to all, yet nott to thee :. For thou no girle art certaynly. Thou hast three teeth, 't is true, butt which Are made of boxe, and black as pitch. K thou 'It trust, then, thy glasse or mee, Thou shouldst as much wide laughter flee As neat-sett cloaths or borrow'd hayre Rough hands or blustring windes doe feare ; As faces whited the rayne shunn. Or painted o'er avoyd the sun ; And with severer lookes still bee Than Hecuba and Andromache. The farce, with foolish mimicks cloy'd. And frolick gossipings, avoyd. Or what through wanton mirth, beside, With laughter opes thy lippes too wide. Kather with matrons sadd converse, Lamenting o'er their husbands' hearse, Or pious brother's monument ; Thy time in tragicks only spent. And if thou 'It follow my advice, Weepe, old wench, weepe, if thou bee wise. Old MS. 16M Cent 1 The one dreads that his hair, the other that his dress, should be dis- arranged. 10(j maetial's Laugh, lovely maid, laugh oft, if thou art wise. As I remember, Ovid does advise. But this to every maid he never said, Or, if he did, 't was always to a maid ; 'T was never spoke to wretched aged thee, To whom remain of all thy teeth but three, And those coal-black. Therefore if this do pass For truth, inform'd the same by thine own glass, A smile thou oughtstt 'avoid with no less di'ead Than gallants fear the wind for their curl'd head ; Than painted madams fear a dashing shower, Or, when pomatum'd, the sun's raging power : Rather old Hecuba's sad mood put on, When Troy was burnt, and all her glory gone. Mimics and drolls, a laughter-moving jest, "Whatever makes thee grin or gape, detest ; Mourn by your mother's side your equal cross, Your father's and your pious brother's loss ; Your hours in what is sad and serious spend, An ear to tragic stories only lend. The counsel 's good, if to it you can keep, Weep, if you 're prudent, old mumps, often weep. Anon. 1695. Ovid, who bid the ladies laugh, Spoke only to the young and fair : For thee his counsel were not safe. Who of sound teeth have scarce a pair. If thou thy glass or me believe, Shun mirth as foplings do the wind : At Durfy's farce afi'ect to grieve ; And let thy eyes alone be kind. Speak not though 't were to give consent, For he that sees these r-oaen bones, Will di'ead their monumental scent, And fly thy sighs like dying groans. If thou art wise, see dismal plays, And to sad stories lend thy ear. With the afflicted spend thy days. And laugh not above once a year. Sedley. XLII. TO ZOILUS. Zoilus, why sully the bath by bathing in it your lower extremities ? It could only be made more foul, Zoilus, by your plunging your head in it. BOOK II.] EPIGRAMS. 107 "Why in the tub thy parts posterior lay ? Thy head, immerged, would it and thee bewray. MpJiinston. Why with thy filthy limbs the water curse ? Plunge in thy head ; that only can be worse. W. S. B. XLIII. TO CA:jn)IDIJS. This is your community of goods among friends, Candidus ; this is your community of goods which you talk about so grandiloquently day and night. Tou are clad in a toga wash- ed in the waters of Lacedaemonian Galaesus, or one which Parma supplied from a select flock : but I, in one which the stufled figure first exposed to the furious horns of the bull,^ would be unwilling should be called his. The land of Cad- mus has provided you with coats dyed by the descendants of Agenor ; for my scarlet vestments you would not get three sesterces. Tour Libyan tables are supported on feet of In- dian ivory ; my beechen table is propped up with a pot- sherd. Immense mullets, on your board, cover dishes of yellow gold ; with me, my earthen platter is ruddy with a craw- fish of the same colour as itself Tour crowd of attend- ants might Y\e with the Idaean Ganymede : my hand serves me for an attendant. Prom such a mass of wealth you give nothing to an old and faithful companion, and do you say, Candidus, that the goods of friends are common ? Still in your mouth, and at your fingers' ends, These words, — "All things are common amongst friends." Fine cloth, or Genoa velvet, is your coat : A tatter'd scare-scrow mine, not worth a groat. With tables of mahogany you 're stored : 1 have but one, and that a beechen board. The ample salmon fills your golden dish : The crab my platter, colour'd like the fish. Your servants spruce, each seems a Ganymede : Me a dumb-waiter serves whene'er I feed. For old acquaintance do you nothing care ? From so much riches can you nothing spare ? Is your expression a vain song, which ends "Where it begun ? — All 's common amongst friends. Hay. • In the arena. See Public Shows, Ep. 19. 108 maetial's All things are common amongst friends, thou say'st ; This is thy morning and thy ev'ning song : Thou in rich point and Indian silk art dress' d, Six foreign steeds to thy calash belong ; Whilst by my clothes the ragman scarce would gain ; And an uneasy hackney jolts my sides : A cloak embroider'd interrupts thy rain, A worsted camblet my torn breeches hides. Turbots and mullets thy large dishes hold, In mine a solitary whiting lies : Thy train might fire the impotent and old, Whilst my poor hand a Ganymede supplies. For an old wanting friend thou 'It nothing do, Yet all is common among friends we know : Nothing so common as to use 'em so. Sedley. XLIY. Olf SEXTTJS. Whether it be a slave that I have bought, or a new toga, or something worth perhaps three or four pounds, Sextus, that usurer, who, you all know, is an old acquaintance of mine, is immediately afraid lest I should ask a loan, and takes his measures accordingly ; whispering to himself, but so that I may hear : " I owe Secundus seven thousand ses- terces, Phoebus four, Philetus eleven ; and there is not a far- thing in my cash-box." Profound stratagem of my old ac- quaintance ! It is hard to refuse me a favour, Sextus, when you are asked ; how much harder, before you are asked. Whether 1 've bought a frieze coat, or a boy. For three or four times double the pound Troy, Forthwith the usurer Sextus, whom you know To be my ancient neighbour-friend in show, In care lest I should borrow of him, fears. And whispers to himself, but by my ears, " I to Secundus owe seven thousand pounds ; To Phoebus four ; eleven Philetus sounds ; Whilst I have not one farthing in my chest." Oh my conceited friend's ingenious jest ! Sextus, 't is hard to give a flat denial When thou art ask'd ; much more before the trial. Fletcher. BOOK II.] EPIGKAMS. 109 The scrivener, "who of late so rich is grown, Whom we have long so intimately known. Saw my coat laced, my boy in livery wait. And on my side-board a small piece of plate: He thence concludes, I 'm now extravagant ; And, fearing I may his assistance want. He mumbles to himself, that I may hear : " My God ! what will become of me this year ! Seven thousand pounds to Gripe, to Shylock four I owe ; and to my broker as much more ! And not one farthing by me! nor can get!" How great, old friend, is your Change-alley wit! To ask and be denied is hard, all know : Before I ask, is most extremely so. Hay. When I had purchased a fresh whore or coat For which I knew not how to pay, Sextus, that wretched, covetous old sot, My ancient friend, as he wall say. Lest I should borrow of him took great care, And mutter'd to himself aloud, So as he knew I could not choose but hear, How much he to Secundus owed ; And twice as much he paid for interest, Nor had one farthing in his trusty che^t : If I had ask'd, I knew he would not lend, 'T is new, before-hand, to deny a friend. Medley. XLT. TO GLTPTTJS. Quae tibi non stabat prsecisa est mentula, Grlypte. Demens, cum ferro quid tibi ? Grallus eras. O Glipto, ti sei mutilato il membro, che gia non erigeva, Balordo, che necessita avevi tu di coltello ? Eri pur Gallo. . Graglia. XLYI. OS KiEYOLUS. Like as flowery Hybla is variegated with many a colour, when the Sicilian bees are laying waste the fleeting gifts of spring, so your presses shine with piles of cloaks, your wardrobe glistens with uncounted robes. And your white garments, which the land of Apulia, produced from more than one flock, would clothe a whole tribe. You look, un- 110 maetial's moved, upon your ill-clad friend in the winter months, shame on you ! while you yourself fear the cold which pierces my ragged side. What sacrifice would it have been, wretched mortal, to deprive of a couple of habits — (what do you fear ?) — not yourself, NsbvoIus, but the moths ? Not all the hues the blooming Hybla sees, When short-lived spring revives Sicilian bees, With the rich glories of the vestments vie, That thy vast wardrobe's endless stores s«pply. Though a whole nation warm the fleece could keep, Shorn from thy numberless Apulian sheep ; Thou canst supine thy threadbare friend behold, Inhuman eye him ! shieldless from the cold. What were it, should' st thou reave two bits of cloth; Nay, frown not : not from thee, but from the moth ? XLVII. TO aALLrs. Siibdola famosse moneo fuge retia moechse, Levior o conchis, Glalle, Cytheriacis. Confides natibus ? non est psedico maritus : Quae faciat duo sunt : irrumat aut futuit, O Gallo piu sensuale deUe Citeriache conchiglie, fuggi, t'aviso, i fraudolenti aguati della si nota corteggiana. T' afiidi tu alle natiche ? II suo marito non sodomizza. Due sono le cose che pratica : irruma o immembra. Graglia. XLViii. TO Eurus. A wine-merchant, a butcher, a bath, a barber, a chess- board and men, and a few books (but give me the selection of them) ; one companion, not too unpolished ; a tall ser- vant, one who preserves his youthful bloom for a long time ; a damsel beloved of my servant : secure me these things, Eufus, even though it were at Butunti,^ and you may keep to yourself the baths of Nero. Wine, and good fare, and my own person nice, Backgammon-tables, and a pair of dice, Books very few, but those all chosen right. One only friend, and him not unpolite, ^ An obscure town of Apulia. BOOK II.] EPIGRAMS. Ill A man and maid, both honest, free from crime, Both neat and handy, and in age's prime, Grant me in any corner of the land : Yours be the town; or yours the world's command. Hay. XLIX. ON TELESINA. TJxorem nolo Telesinam ducere : quare ? Moecha est. Sed pueris dat Telesina. Volo. lo non voglio sposar Telesina. Perche ? E' una meretrice. Ma Telesina si da ai ragazzi. La voglio. Graglia. L. TO LESBIA. Quod fellas et aquam potas, nil, Lesbia, peccas. Qua tibi parte opus est, Lesbia, sumis aquam. Perche tu felli, e bevi acqua, fai nulla che ripugni. Tu, o Lesbia, prendi acqua per quella parte che ti fa bisogno. Graglia. Lesbia talks loosely, and does water drink : Thou dost well, Lesbia, so to wash the sink. Anon. 1695. LI. ON HTLLUS. TJnus saepe tibi tota denarius area Cum sit, et hie culo tritior, Hylle, tuo, Non tamen hunc pistor, non auferet hunc tibi copo, Sed si quis nimio pene superbus erit. Infelix venter spectat convivia culi, Et semper miser hie esurit, ille vorat. Quantunque tutto il tuo danaro sovvente non consista, o Hilo, che in una sola moneta, e questa piii rimenata del tuo culo : con tutto cio il panatiere non te la tirera dalle mani, ne tampoco I'oste ; ma bensi se qualcuno sara baldanzoso per esser bene in membro. Lo sfortunato ventre sta a vedere i banchetti del culo, e mentre miserabile, questo ha sempre fame, quello divora. Graglia. LII. ON DASIUS. Dasius is a shrewd hand at counting his female bathers ; 112 ' maetial's he asked tlie bulky Spatale tlie price of three, and she gave it.^ Keen Dasius, counting all the dames to lave, Ask'd breast-swoln Spatale for three : she gave. ElpMnston. LIII. TO MAXIMIJS. Do you wish to become free? You lie, Maximus, you do not wish it. But if you should wish to become so, you can in this way. Tou will be free, if you give up dining out ; if the Yeientan grape assuages your thirst ; if you can smile at the golden dishes of the querulous Cinna ; if you can be content in a toga like mine ; if a plebeian mistress becomes yours for a couple of small coins ; if you can submit to lower your head when you enter your house. If you have strength and force of mind such as this, you may live more free than the monarch of Parthia. Would you be free ? 't is your chief wish, you say. Come on ; I '11 show thee, friend, the certain way : If to no feasts abroad thou lov'st to go, Whilst bounteous God does bread at home bestow; If thou the goodness of thy clothes do'st prize By thine own use, and not by others' eyes ; If (only safe from weathers) thou canst dwell In a small house, but a convenient shell ; If thou without a sigh, or golden wish, Canst look upon thy beechen boAvl and dish ; If in thy mind such power and greatness be ; The Persian king 's a slave compared with thee. Cowley. Ado ice to a Chaplain : — Familiarised in the Manner of Dr Swift. Parson ! 't is false ; I '11 ne'er believe With liberty you wish to live : • You hug your chains, and cut your jokes On us, poor independent folks. But would you then indeed be free ? Come, I '11 prescribe — without a fee. First, then, 't is plain you love to eat, And haunt the tables of the great : ^ Dasius was the proprietor or superintendent of baths for females. Spatale was so large that he required her to pay the price of three women ; a demand to which she made no objection. Spatale et dues illius mammce. says the Dolphin Commentator, triutn locum occupabant. BOOK II.] EPI&EAMS. 113 You shun the man, and think him poor, That cannot give you " four and four. " Indeed, my friend, this must not be ; A parasite can ne'er be free. Next, Doctor, you must drink no wine. — Ch. Why so ? Saint Paul, that great divine, Says, " Drink a little." — F. That 's not the question j You can't afford it — Ch. But for digestion — F. A glass of cider, or old mead, Or e'en mild ale, will do the deed. Then, you 're a captain in your dress ; A good black frieze would cost you less. And look more venerable too, Than that grey cloth which I call blue. Talk what you please, you '11 ne'er be free, If you despise economy. Perhaps, too, you may think a wife Amongst the requisites of life : Why, take some healthy farmer's daughter, Some Blousalind — nay, spare your laughter : She '11 mend your shirts, inspect your brewing ; — A lady, sir, would be your ruin. Your pars'nage house, I own, is mean ; But see ! that fragrant jessamine ; See ! how that woodbine round the door And lattice blooms — What would you more ? Oh ! Doctor, could you but despise Life's pompous superfluities ; Could you but learn to live content With what indulgent Heav'n has sent ; Whate'er your lot, you 'd live more free Than any prince — in Germany, Rev. B. Graves- You talk of freedom, trust me, friend. Your freedom all in talk will end. If 't is your passion to be free. Contented dine at home, like me ; Your beverage draw from Whitbread's butt ; Wear useful clothes of homely cut ; And though you cease to please the fair, Discard all powder from your hair : Walk undistinguish'd 'mid the group. Nor scorn a door that makes you stoop. To such a plan contract your view, And kings will be less free than you. dnon. I 114 maetial's Would' st thou be free ? I fear thou art in jest But if thou would'st, this is the only law ; ■ Be no man's tavern nor domestic guest : Drink wholesome wine which thy own servants draw. Of knavish Carlo scorn the ill-got plate, The num'rous servants and the cringing throng : With a few friends on fewer dishes eat, And let thy clothes, like mine, be plain and strong. Such friendships make as thou may'st keep with ease j Great men expect what good men hate to pay ; Be never thou thyself in pain to please, But leave to fools and knaves th' uncertain prey. Let thy expense with thy estate keep pace ; Meddle with no man's business, save thine own : Contented pay for a plebeian face. And leave vain fops the beauties of the town. If to this pitch of virtue thou canst bring Thy mind, thou 'rt freer than the Persian king. Sedley. LIT. TO LINUS. Quid de te, Line, suspicetur uxor, Et qua parte velit pudiciorem, Certis indiciis satis probavit, Custodem tibi quae dedit spadonem. Nil nasutius hac maligniusque est. Tua moglie o Lino, che ti diede un' eunuco per guaraia ha da certi indizj dinotato qual cosa di te sospetti, ed in qual parte ti voglia piu pudico. Nulla v' e di piu sagace di costei, e nulla di piii astuto. Graglia. LV. TO SEXTUS. You wish to be treated with deference, Sextus : I wished to love you. I must obey you : you shall be treated with deference, as you desire. But if I treat you with deference, I shall not love you. Yes ; I submit, my lord ; you 've gain'd your end : I 'm now your slave — that would have been your friend ; I '11 bow, I '11 cringe, be supple as your glove ; — Kespect, adore you — ev'ry thing but — love. Rev. R. Graves. I offer love, but thou respect wilt have ; Take, Sextus, all thy pride and folly crave : But know I can be no man's friend and slave. Sedley. BOOK II.] EPIGEAMS. 115 LYI. TO aALLTJS. Among the nations of Libya ^ your wife, Gallus, is un- happily renowned for the disgraceful reproach of immoder- ate avarice. But what is said of her is pure falsehood ; she is not in the habit of receiving always. What then is she in the habit of doing ? Granting. Gallus, thy wife is taxed for the vice (Among the Libyans) of foul avarice : But she is wrong'd, and all are lies they tell ; None cheaper does herself both give and sell. Anon. 1 695. LYII. ON A PEETEKDER. He, whom you see walking slowly along with careless step, who takes his way, in violet-coloured robes, through the Iniddle of the square ; whom my friend Publius does not sur- pass in dress, nor even Cordus himself, the Alpha of Cloaks ; he, I say, who is followed by a band of clients and slaves,. and a litter with new curtains and girths, has but just now pawned His ring at Cladius' counter for barely eight sesterces, to get liimself a dinner. He whom you see to walk in so much state, "Waving and slow, with a majestic gait, In purple clad, passing the nobles' seat, My Publius not in garments more complete ; — Whose new rich coach, with gilt and studded reins, Fair boys and gown-men follow in great trains, Lately his very ring in pawn did lay For four poor crowns, his supper to defray. 1695. LYIII. TO ZOILIJS. In your new and beautiful robes, Zoilus, you smile at my threadbare clothes. They are threadbare, Zoilus, I admit ; but they are my own. You, sprucely clothed, laugh at my threadbare gown : ■ 'T is thread-bare truly, Zoilus, but mine own. Wright. Your 're fine, and ridicule my thread-bare gown. Thread-bare indeed it is ; — but 't is my own. Hay. Embroider'd Rufus jeers my thread-bare vest, 'T is paid for, Rufus. Now, where lies the jest ? Anon. 1695. Gallus, it is supposed, had been praetor of Libya or Africa. 1 2 116 maetial's ltx. ok a small dini^-g-hall. I am called Mica : ^ what I am you see, a small dining- hall ; from me, behold, you view the dome of the imperial Mausoleum. Press the couches ; call for wine ; crown yourself with roses ; perfume yourself with odours : the god himself^ bids you remember death. I ^m call'd the Crumb : a petty supping-home ; From me thou kennest the Caesarean dome. Prepare the beds, the -wines, the roses, nard : The god himself enjoins thee death's regard. LX. TO HTLLTJS. Toung Hyllus, you are the favoured gallant of the wife of a military tribune ; do you fear, in consequence, merely the punishment of a child ? Have a care ; while thus di^rt- ing yourself, your flame will be suddenly extinguished. Will you tell me, " This is not lawful " ? Well, and what you are doing, Hyllus, is that lawful ? Audacious stripling, hast no shame, To tempt an armed tribune's dame ? And dost thou, youngster, barely fear The chastisement all boys revere ? No more be thus thy boldness propp'd : Thine all of manly will be lopp'd. The law, thou say'st, will ne'er allow. Does law, my lad, thy pranks avow ? Mjphinston. LXI. ON A SLANDEBEE. Cum tibi vernarent dubia lanugine malse, Lambebat medios improba lingua viros. Postquam triste caput fastidia vespillonum Et miseri meruit taedia carnificis. Uteris ore alitor nimiaque serugine captus AUatras nomen quod tibi cunque datur. Hsereat inguinibus potius tarn noxia lingua : Nam cum fellaret, purior ilia fuit. Allorche un' apparente lanugine spontava su '1 tuo volte, la sozza tua lingua lambiva i centri viriK. Dopo che la tua odiata testa si ^ A dining-hall erected by Domitian, called Mica, "Crumb," or "Minnikin," from its smallness. 2 The god of the building, that is, Domitian, to whom it was dedi- cated. BOOK II.] EPIGRAMS. 117 tiro 1' aversione de' beccamorti, e lo schiffo del carnefice, fai altr' uso della tua lingua, ossesso da un' eccessivo livore, la scateni contro chiunque ti viene in mente. Sia la tua esecrabil lingua piutosto appesa alle pudenda, imperocche essa mentre fellava, era meno im- pura. Graglia. LXII. TO LABIENTJS. Quod pectus, quod crura tibi, quod brachia vellis, Quod cincta est brevibus mentula tonsa pilis : Hoc prsestas, Labiene, tuse — quis nescit ? — amicse. Cui prsestas culum, quod, Labiene, pilas ? 11 perche ti dissetoli il petto, le gambe, le braccia, il perche la rasa tua mentola e cinta di curti peli, chi non sa, che tutto questo, o Labieno, prepari per la tua arnica. Per chi, o Labieno, prepari tu il culo, che dissetoli ? Graglia. LXIII. TO MILICHUS. You had but a hundred thousand sesterces, Milichus, and those were consumed in ransoming Leda from the Via Sacra. This, Milichus, would have been an act of great extravagance, had you loved at such a price, even though rich. You will at once tell me, " I am not in love." It is still an act of great extravagance.^ The hundredth sesterce thou hadst just to pay, Which bought thee Leda, from the Sacred Way. Of wealth in love luxuriant the disburse ! I 'm in no love, cries Milic. Ten times worse. LXIV. TO LAUEUS. While you are thinking of becoming, sometimes a lawyer, sometimes a professor of eloquence, and cannot decide, Laurus, what you mean to be, the age of Peleus, and Priam, and Nestor, has passed by with you, and it would now be late enough for you even to retire from any profession. Be- gin ; three professors of eloquence have died in one year, if you have courage, and any talent in that line. If you de- cide against the School, all the courts of law are in a perfect fever of litigation ; Marsyas himself ^ might become a lawyer. Come, give over this delay ; how much longer are we to await your decision ? While thus hesitating what to be, you aro becoming unfit for anything at all. ^ A dilemma. If you ransomed her for love, you were extravagant; if you ransomed her without being in love with her, you were extravagant. 2 The statue of Marsyas in the forum. 118 Sometimes a law^^er, sometimes a divine, You say, you '11 be ; yet neither are in fine ; Before you fix your choice, you lose an age ; Fit to retire, before you mount the stage. Three bishops are gone off within the year ; If you have any soul, you '11 now appear. Or else, there 's so much business in the laws, A post, if robed, could never want a cause. Rouse : in this world begin to preach or plead, You '11 make a sorry dean or serjeant dead. Hay "While rhetorician, lawyer, tempts thy choice, And what thou 'It be still hangs upon thy voice : "VVilt thou old Priam's age or Nestor's wait ? Now wilt thou fix ? 't is long ago too late : Nay come — this year three rhetoricians died : Come— hast thou spirit ? brains ? the schools are wide. If you dislike the schools, the law-courts brawl, To rouse e'en Marsyas from his pedestal, Come, ho ! decide, or must we still gaze on : Doubt'st thou what something thou wilt fix upon ? Thou canst be nothing now, — time was, 't is gone. Elton. One month a lawyer, thou the next wilt be A grave physician, and the third a priest : Choose quickly one profession of the three ; Married to her, thou yet may'st court the rest. "Whilst thou stand'st doubting, Bradbury has got Five thousand pounds, and Conquest as much more ; "W is made B from a drunken sot : Leap in, and stand not shiv'ring on the shore. On any one amiss thou canst not fall ; Thou 'It end in nothing if thou grasp'st at all. Sedley. LXV. TO SALEIAFUS. Why do we see Saleianus with a sadder air than usual ? — Is the reason a triliiDg one ? I have just buried my wife, says he. Oh great crime of destiny ! oh heavy chance ! Is she dead, she so wealthy, Secundilla, dead, who brought you a dower of a million sesterces ? I would not have had this happen to you, Saleianus. "Why seem you dead to all the joys of life ? Have I not cause ? you say : — I 've lost my wife. BOOK II.] EPIGEAMS, 119 Oh cursed fate ! and oh misfortune dire ! That one so wealthy should so soon expire ! Who left you twice five hundred annued rent ! I 'm sorry you have had this accident. Hay. LXVI. TO LALAGE. One ringlet of hair, in the whole circle of Lalage's tresses, was out of its place, having been badly fixed by an erring pin. This crime she punished with the mirror,^ by means of which she discovered it, and Plecusa fell to the ground under her blows, in consequence of the cruel hair. Cease now, La- lage, to adorn your fatal locks ; let no waiting-woman hence- forth touch your outrageous head. Let the salamander ^ leave its venom on it, or the razor pitilessly denude it, that the image may be worthy of your mirror. One single curl beyond its bounds had stray'd ; The wandering hair-pin one false loop had made. This fault to Lalage her mirror shows ; Plecusa's head receives its stunning blows. Cease, Lalage, to deck thy brows ; forbear ; Cease, maidens, cease to dress that fury's hair. Let scissors clip, or asps among it sit ; Then, then her face that mirror shall befit. Ang. Journ. of Education^ Jan. 1856. LXVII. TO POSTUMUS. In whatever place you meet me, Postumus, you cry out im- mediately, and your very first words are, " How do you do ?" You say this, even if you meet me ten times in one single hour ; you, Postumus, have nothing, I suppose, to do. Whoe'er thee, Postumus, does chance to meet, Thou say'st, " What dost thou ? " thus thou all dost greet Ten times an hour, if met : by which dost show That thou thyself but little hast to do. Amn, 1695. LXTIII. TO OLTJS. Because I now address you by your name, when I used before to call you lord and master, do not regard me as pre- sumptuous. At the price of all my chattels I have purchased my cap of liberty. He only wants lords and masters who cannot govern himself, and who covets what lords and masters ^ A brazen mirror. '^ An animal something like a lizard, supposed to yield a poisonous liquid, used as a depillatory. 120 maetial's covet. If yoii can do without a servant, Olus, yon can also do without a master. That I do you with humble bows, no more, And danger of my naked head, adore ; That I, who lord and master cried erewhile, Salute you in a new and different style. By your own name, a scandal to you now ; Think not that I forget myself and you : By loss of all things by all others sought. This freedom, and the freeman's hat, is bought. • A lord and master no man wants, but he Who o'er himself has no authority, Who does for honours and for riches strive. And follies, without which lords cannot live. If thou from fortune dost no servant crave, Believe it, thou no master need'st to have. Cowley. LXIX, TO CLASSICTJS. Ton say, Classicus, that it is against your will that you dine from home. May I perish, Classicus, if you do not lie. Even Apicius himself delighted in going out to dinner, and, when he dined at home, was rather out of spirits. If, however, you go against your will, why, Classicus, do you go at all '? " I am obliged," you say. It is true ; just as much as Selius ^ is obliged. See now, Melior invites you to a regular dinner, Classicus ; where are your grand protest- ations ? if you are a man, say " No." Unwillingly thou supp'st abroad ! I '11 die, If what thou say'st be not a splendid lie. In others' treats Apicius did delight. And with regret at home did pass the night. If thou unwilling art, why dost thou go ? Thou 'rt forced, thou say'st. All smell-feasts are forced so. Melior invites thee to a sumptuous feast : Where are thy brags ? Deny. Now is the test. Anon, 1695. When thou art ask'd to sup abroad, Thou swear'st thou hast but newly dined ; That eating late does overload The stomach, and oppress the mind ; 1 A parasite. See Eps. 1 1 and 1 ±. BOOK II.] EPIGEAMS. 121 But if Apicius makes a treat, The slenderest summons thou obey'st ; No child is greedier of the teat Than thou art of the bounteous feast. There thou wilt diink till every star Be swallow' d by the rising sun ; Such charms hath wine we pay not for, And mirth at other's charge begun. Who shuns his club, yet flies to every treat, Does not a supper, but a reckoning hate. Sedhy. LXX. TO COTILrS. Won vis in solio prius lavari Quenquam, Cotile ; causa quse, nisi haec est, Undis ne fovearis irrumatis ? Primus te licet abluas, necesse est, Ante hie mentula, quam caput, lavetur. Tu, o Cotilo, non vuoi che nessuno si lavi nel tino prima di te. Qual n'e la cagione, se non e questa ? Che non vuoi lavarti in acque irrumate. Bisogna dunque che tu ti lavi il primo, a con- dizione che tu ti lavi la mentola prima del capo. Graglia. LXXI. TO C^CILIANTJS. No one is more ingenious than yourself, Caecilianus; I have remarked it. Whenever I read a few distichs from my own compositions, you forthwith recite some bits of Marsus or Catullus. Do you offer me these, as though what you read were inferior to mine, so that, when placed side by side, my compositions should gain by the comparison ? I beKeve you do. Nevertheless I should prefer, Caecilianus, that you recite your own. There 's none than thee more candid can be said. Who, when some parcels in my book thou 'st read. From Marsus or Catullus dost recite The like, to show how much I better write. Compared with them. Thy goodwill 's to me known. But would thou 'dst read some verses of thine own. Anon, 1695. Nothing, I see, your candour can exceed, My distichs whensoe'er you please to read : From Dryden or from Pope you cite a line, To show how much they both fall short of mine. Such foils, no doubt, make mine appear more taking, Yet I should choose some verses of your making. Hay. 122 maetial's lxxii. to postumtjs. Hesterna factum narratur, Postume, coena Quod nollem — quis enim tali a facta probet ? — Os tibi percisum quanto non ipse Latinus ^ Yilia Panniculi percutit ora sono : Quodque magis mirum est, auctorera crimiuis bujus Csecilium tota rumor in urbe sonat. Esse negas factum : vis boc me credere ? credo. Quid, quod babet testes, Postume, Csecilius ? O Postumo, si racconta un fatto successo nella cena passata, che mi dispiace : imperocche chi mai acconsentirebbe a si fatte cose ? Ti fu percossa la faccia con piu gran forza, che Latino stesso non peccuote le vili guancie di Panniculo : e cio che piii sorprende, si rumoreggia per tutta la citta che Cecilio sia V autore di questo sfreggio. Tu cio neghi r vuoi ch' io lo creda ? Lo credo. Ma cos'e, o Postumo, che Cecilio ha testimonj ? Graglia. ■ Of yesterday's most social meal They tell a truth, that won't conceal ; Which must the mirth or sorrow move, Of all who censure or approve. They say that, Post, thy mouth and nose, Were batter'd by such barb'rous blows. As Latin's hand, with archest bound, Ne'er bade from Panny's visage sound. To make the riot all sublime, They name the hero of the crime : That Cecil play'd this first of funs, The rumour through the city runs. Thou, Postume, swear' st the whole a lie ; And boldly canst the fact defy. But all thy shams must prove refuse : Cecil attesters can produce. Elphinston. LXXIII. ON LTEIS. Lyris wishes to be told what it is she is doing. What ? Why, she sullies her mouth even when not intoxicated.'^ LXXIV. TO MATERNTJS. Do you notice, Maternus,th at Saufeius accompanied in front and behind by a crowd of followers, a crowd as great as that ^ Latinus and Pannicuhis were two actors in pantomime. 2 There are various readings of this Epigram. The best perhaps is. Quid facial vis scire Lyris? Quid? Sobria fellat. A MS. in the Bod- leian adds another verse : Gaudeo: quid fades ebria facta, Lyris f BOOK II.] EPIGEAMS. 123 by which Eegulus is escorted home after sending off his shaven ^ client to the lofty temples of the gods ? Do not envy him. May such an escort never, I pray, be yours. Fuficu- lenus and Paventinus^ procure for him these friends and flocks of clients. What trains before, what trains behind him ride ! What crowds of friends support him on each side ! Such multitudes did never with lord mayor On solemn festival to Paul's repair : You gazing cry, " How times with him are mended ! " May never friend of mine be thus attended ! Envy him not : the matter I '11 explain : You see his mortgage ; and 't is Trapland's train. Hay. LXXY. oif A LION. A lion who had been accustomed to put up with the blows of his unsuspecting master, and quietly to suffer a hand to be inserted in his mouth, has unlearned his peaceful habits, his fierceness having suddenly returned, greater even than it ought to have been on the Libyan mountains. Tor, cruel and malicious, he slew with furious tooth two boys of that young band whose duty it was to put a new face on the en- sanguined arena with their rakes. Never did the theatre of Mars behold a greater atrocity. "We may exclaim : " Savage, faithless robber ! learn from Eome's sacred wolf to spare children." A lion, wont his keeper's stripes to bear, Into whose mouth his hand, without all fear, He used to thrust, such tameness he was taught ; But suddenly so high his fury wrought, 'Twas 'bove what from the Libyan clime he brought; For while two boys did rake the sandy floor, With savage rage he both in pieces tore, — The theatre like crime ne'er knew before. Romans may well say, " Treacherous beast, forbear ; Of Romulus' wolf young children learn to spare." Anon. 1695. ' Shaven, i. e. acquitted ; as persons under accusation let their beards grow. ^ Names of usurers, it is supposed, to whom he had mortgaged his estate. 124 maetial's lxxyi. on maeitjs. Marius has left you a legacy of five pounds of silver. He, to whom you gave nothing, has given you — words. ^ Five pounds of fine silver was Marius' bequest. Though thou gavest him nothing, he gave thee a jest. Elphinston. IXXYII. TO COSCOIfllJS. Tou, Cosconius, who think my epigrams long, may pos- sibly be expert at greasing carriage- wheels. With like judgment, you would think the Colossus too tall, and might call Brutus's boy ^ too short. Learn something which you do not know : two pages of Marsus and the learned Pedo often contain only one epigram. Those compositions are not long, in which there is nothing to retrench : but you, Cos- conius, write even distichs that are too long. My epigrams are long in your conceit : Much fitter for a groom than judge of wit. Long in your sense the giants in Guildhall ; And short the British king on Ludgate-wall. Learn, that the Iliad and the .^neid shines, Though each contains so many thousand lines. Works are not long, from which you nought can take : But long the very distichs which you make. Say Coscus, thou say'st my epigrams are long : I 'd take thy judgment on a pot of ale : So thou may'st say the elephant's too strong, A dwarf too short, the pyramid too taU. Things are not long where we can nothing spare : But, Coscus, e'en thy distichs tedious are. Sedley. LXXYIII. TO CiECILIAKTJS. Do you ask where to keep your fish in the summer-time ? Keep it in your warm baths, Caecilianus. " Where keep my fish in summer ? " Helluo cries. Your kitchen 's cool ; that grotto I advise. Gentleman! s Mag. What place to keep your ice in I approve. You ask. — Your kitchen chimney or your stove. Kay. ^ Marius having left no property. 2 The statue of a boy, made by Brutus, an artificer. I BOOK II.] EPiaEAMS. 125 LXXIX. TO NASICA. You invite me then, and tlien only, Nasica, when you know I am engaged. Excuse me, I pray : I dine at home. You think I 'm call'd elsewhere, so bid me come To dine with you. Thank you ; 1 dine at home. Anon. Lxxx. o:n' rANNius. Eannius, as he was fleeing from the enemy, put himself to death. Is not this, I ask, madness, — to die for fear of dying ? "When Fannius from his foe did fly, Himself with his own hands he slew : Who e'er a greater madness knew ? Life to destroy for fear to die ! Anon. 1695. Himself he slew, when he the foe would fly : What madness this, for fear of death to die ! Ha]/. LXXXI. TO ZOILUS. Your litter may, if you please, be larger than an hexaphoros, Zoilus ; but, as it is your litter, it should be called a bier.^ Let thy litter be larger than e'er moved on six, 'T is a bier, if upon it thy carcase they fix. Elphinston. LXXXII. TO PONTICTJS. Why do you maim ^ your slave, Ponticus, by cutting out his tongue .? Do you not know that the public says what he cannot ? What 'vails it thee to make thy slave a mute ? Of thy foul crimes much louder now 's the bruit. Anon. 1695. LXXXIII. ON" A CETJEL HUSBAND. Husband, you have disfigured the wretched gallant, and his countenance, deprived of nose and ears, regrets the loss of its original form. Do you think that you are sufficiently avenged ? You are mistaken : something still remains. 1 The hexaphoros was a large sort of palanquin, carried on the shoul- ders of six men. By calling Zoilus's litter a bier, Martial means, as Radar supposes, that Zoilus was bloated with gluttony, and more like a corpse than a living person. See B. iii. Ep. 82. 2 Fcedas appears to be the best reading in the first line, instead of fingis or figis, the latter of which Scheidewin adopts. Compare the first verse of the next epigram, Fosddsti mcechum. 126 Thou hast deform'd the poor gallant ; Nor could thy justice mercy grant. His nose so slit, and ear so tore, Now seek in vain the grace they wore. Now vengeance boasts her ample due. Fool ! may n't the foe the charge renew ? JElphinston. LXXXIV. TO ETirXJS, OlS" SEETORITIS. Mollis erat facilisque viris PcBantius heros : i Vulnera sic Paridis dicitur ulta Yenus. Cur lingat cunnum Siculus Sertorius, hoc est : Abs hoc occisus, E-ufe, videtur Eryx. L'Eroe Peanzio era effeminato, e compiacente agli uomini : si dice che Venere cosi abbia vendicato le ferite di Paride. 11 perche Ser- toria Siculo sia cunnilingo, si e, o Pufo, per quel che pare, dall' aver ucciso Erice.2 Graglia. LXXXV, TO A PEIEI^D. A bottle of iced water,^ bound with light basket-work, shall be my offering to you at the present Saturnalia. If you complain, that I sent you in the month of December a gift more suited to the summer, send me in return a light toga. A summer gift, that I in winter mak , In evil part I would not have thee take ; Or, for my present, hold me for a clown ; But while 't is cold, send me a summer gown. Ajion. 1695. LXXXVI. TO CLASSICUS, I?^ DISPAEAGEMEJfT OF DIPFICTJLT POETIC TEIELES. Because I neither delight in verse that may be read back- wards,^ nor reverse the effeminate Sotades ;^ because nowhere 1 Philoctetes, by one of whose arrows Paris is said by some to have beau shot. 2 The son of Venus. A neighbour of Sertorius, who had lately died, bore the same name. 2 Water boiled and then cooled in snow, such as the Romans used to mix with their Avine. * Such as, with regard to letters, Roma tihi subito motibus ihit amor, or, with regard to words and metre, Musa mihi causas memora, quo numine Iceso. 5 That is, the metre used by Sotades, who wrote, it would appear from this passage, verses that might be read backwards ; verses, perhaps, which BOOK II.] EPIGEAMS. 127 in my writings, as in those of the G-reeks, are to be found eclioing verses,^ and the handsome Attis does not dictate to me a soft and enervated G-alliambic strain ; ^ I am not on that account, Classicus, so very bad a poet. What if you were to order Ladas against his will to mount the narrow ridge of the petaurum ? ^ It is absurd to make one's amuse- ments difficult ; and labour expended on follies is childish. Let Palsemon '^ write verses for admiring crowds. I would rather please select ears. That I acrostics' glory not do write ; In verses, backward read, take no delight ; Make not the echo in my verses play. After the Grecian poetastering way ; Nor yet soft melting numbers so respect, As more the chime, than ev'n the sense, t' affect ; — So bad a poet, as these ways to take, I am not, Classicus. What hire would make • Ladas, for swiftness famed, so meanly stoop, To leave the race, and tumble through a hoop ? Disgraceful 't is unto a poet's name Difficult toys to make his highest aim : The labour 's foohsh that doth rack the brains For things have nothing in them, but much pains. Ation. 1695. expressed commendation of the person to whom they were addressed, ■when read forAvards, but satire when read the other way ; as in the h'nes addressed by Philelphus to Pope Pius II. : Conditio tua sit stahilis nee tempore parvo Vivere te faciat hie Deus omnipotens. ^ Verses in which the termination is formed by a repetition of the pre- ceding syllable or syllables, as if given by an echo : Vere novo sponsum me fore reris? Eris, Butler, Hudibras, canto III. line 189 et seq., banters this species of poetry, and Addison has a paper on the subject in Spectator, No. 59. 2 The Galliambic verse had its name from Galli, the priests of Cybele, who are said to have written in it. Attis, more commonly written Atys, was a youth beloved by Cybele. 3 The petaurum was some sort of machine by which performers were raised from the ground ; some have thought it a spring plank, others a wheel or part of a wheel ; possibly there may have been different forms of it. Ladas was a swift runner (see B. x. Ep. 100), but could not be in- duced to mount the petaurum. * A conceited grammarian; perhaps the one mentioned by Suetonius de 111. Gramm. c. 13. 128^. maetial's lxxxyii. to sextus, a defoemed peeson. Tou say, Sextus, tliat fair damsels are burning witli love for you — for you, who have the face of a man swimming under water ! ^ That for thee. the fair burn, is the modestest whim! Under water thy \dsage declares thee to swim. Elphinston, LXXXTIII. TO MAMEECUS. . Tou recite nothing, and you wish, Mamercus, to be thought a poet. Be whatever you will, only do not recite, Arthur, they say, has wit. " For what ? For writing ? " No — for writing not. Swift. You 'd poet seem, yet nothing you rehearse : Be what you will, so we ne'er hear your verse. Wright. Thou would' st a poet be, yet nought dost write : Be what thou wilt, so nought thou dost indite. Anon. 1695. LXXXIX. For delighting to lengthen out the night over too many cups, I pardon you, Graurus ; you have the weakness of Cato. For writing verses without help from Apollo and the Muses, you deserve to be praised ; this weakness was that of Cicero. Tou vomit ; that was Antonius' failing ; your luxury, that of Apicius. But as to your abominable de- bauchery, tell me, from whom do you derive that r In profuse drinking that thy nights are spent, Gaurus, thou Cato hast for precedent ; TuUy, for barbarous verses thou dost write. As if the Muses bore to thee a spite ; Antony, Apicius, vomitings did use ; — Thy horrid lust no pati'on can excuse. Anon. 1695. That thou dost shorten thy long nights with wine, We all forgive thee, for so Cato did ; That thou writ'st poems without one good line, Tully's example may that weakness hide. Thou art a cuckold ; so great Csesar was : Eat'st till thou spew'st ; Antonius did the same : Thou lovest whores ; Jove loves a bucksome lass : But that thou 'rt whipp'd is thy peculiar shame. ^ Distorted, as things appear under troubled water. BOOK II.] EPIGBAMS. 129 XO. TO QTIINTILIAI^. Quintilian, supreme ruler over our unsteady youth, — Quintilian, glory of the Eoman toga, do not hlame me, that I, though poor yet not useless to my generation, hasten to enjoy life : no one hastens enough to do so. Let him de- lay doing so, who desires to have a greater estate than his father, and who crowds his lofty halls with countless busts. A quiet hearth delights me, and a house which disdains not the blackness of smoke,^ a running spring, and a natural piece of turf. May these be mine ; a well-fed attendant, a wife not over-learned, nights with sleep, days without strife. QuintiHan, thou glory of the gowne, And for instructing youth of high renowne, If, poore, my life to mee content can give, Allow me : none t' himselfe too much can live. Lett who will strive their fathers' wealth t' enlarge, And with vast statues their huge porches charge ; Give mee good fires, though in a smoaky hall. Unforced springs, and grass-plotts naturall ; "With full fedd clownes, and not too learn'd a wife, Spending my nights in sleepe, dayes without strife. OU MS. 16^/i Cent. Wonder not, sir (you who instruct the town In the true wisdom of the sacred gown). That I make haste to Hve, and cannot hold Patiently out, till I grow rich and old. Life for delays and doubts no time does give ; None ever yet made haste enough to live. Let him defer it, whose preposterous care Omits himself, and reaches to his heir. Who does his father's bounded stores despise. And whom his own, too, never can sufl&ce. My humble thoughts no glittering roofs require, Or rooms that shine with aught but constant ni'e. I will content the avarice of my sight With the fair gildings of reflected hght : Pleasures abroad the sport of nature yields, Her Hving fountains, and her smiling fields. And then at home, what pleasure is 't to see A little cleanly cheerful family ! Which if a chaste wife crown, no less in her Than fortune, I the golden mean prefer. 1 A house not too fine or splendid ; such as will allow of the free use of fires without receiving damage by the smoke. 130 maetial's Too noble, nor too wise, she should not be, No, nor too rich, too fair, too fond of me. Thus let my life slide silently away. With sleep all night, and quiet all the day. Cowley. XCI. TO O^SAE, ASKIK» THE EIGHTS OF A TATHEE OP THEEE CHILDEEIS". Caesar, thou who art the certain safety of the empire, the glory of the universe, from whose preservation we derive our belief in the existence of the gods ; if my verses, so often read by thee in my hastily composed books, have succeeded in fixing thy attention, permit that to seem to be which for- tune forbids to be in reality, namely, that I may be regarded as the father of three children.^ This boon, if I have failed to please thee, will be some consolation to me ; if I have succeeded in pleasing thee, will be some reward. "Welfare and glory of the earth, while thee We safe behold, we gods believe to be ; If my slight books did e'er thee entertain, And oft to read them thou didst not disdain, What nature does deny, do thou bestow : Y or father of three children make me go. When my verse takes not, this will be an ease ; A high reward, in case it thee do please. Anon. 1695. XCII. TO HIS WIFE. He, who alone had the power, has granted to my prayer the rights of a father of three children, as a reward for the efforts of my Muse. Grood bye to you, madam wife. The munificence of our lord and master must not be rendered valueless.^ He father of three children me has made. And all my Muse's labours richly paid. Who only could : thee, wife, I '11 not retain. Lest I the prince's bounty render vain. Anon. 1695. XCIII. TO EEGULUS. " Where is the first book," you ask, " since this is the se- cond ? " What am I to do, if the first book has more mo- ^ To the father of three or more children great privileges were allowed among the Romans ; he sat in the best seats at the games, and had ad- vantages in standing for public offices and distinctions. ' That is, by his having three children by her, which would make the boon of Domitian superfluous. BOOK II. EPI&EAMS. 131 desty than this ? If you, however, Eegulus, prefer this to be made the first, jou can take away "one" from its title. The second book you say ! where is the prior ? What shall I do, if that be found the shier ? Yet, Regulus, if this the first you 'd make, One " I " you 've only from the top to take. Mpldnston. BOOK III. I. TO THE EEADER. This book, whatever may be its worth, Gaul, named after the Eoman toga,^ sends from far distant climes. You read it, and award your praise perhaps to the preceding ; but both are equally mine, whichsoever you think the better. That book which saw the light in the city should, indeed, give the greater pleasure ; for a book of E-oman production should bear the palm over one from G-aul. This third book, good or bad, whate'er it be, Gallia Togata sends from far to thee. If, reading this, my former thou dost praise, Both yet are mine, that which least claims the bays. Those must excel, born, Rome, within thy wall : A slave of thine, above a free-born Gaul. Anon. 1695. II. TO HIS BOOK. To whom, my little book, do you wish me to dedicate you ? Make haste to choose a patron, lest, being hurried off" into a murky kitchen, you cover tunnies with your wet leaves, or become a wrapper for incense and. pepper. Is it into Tausti- nus' bosom that you flee ? you have chosen wisely : you may now make your way perfumed with oil of cedar, and, decorat- ed with ornaments at both ends, luxuriate in all the glory of painted bosses ; delicate purple may cover you, and your title proudly blaze in scarlet. "With him for your patron, fear not even Probus.^ ^ Gallia Togata. ^ ]\|, Valerius Probus, the celebrated grammarian. K 2 132 maetial's Whither, thou darling child of joke, To what protector dost thou fly ? Lest, -RTapt in culinary smoke, Thou dripping clothe the tunny-fry : Lest holy incense thou profane, Or thiink to lend the pepper poignance ; Thou wouldst Faustinus' bosom gain ? That is thy father's ovm enjoinance. Imbued with cedar's potent oil. The country thou beroam'st, and coast. Ihy decent frontlets nought shall soil : Thou may'st thy painted navels boast. And now, in gorgeous purple clad, Thy face assumes a maiden-blush : In such a patron wisely glad, Thou valuest Probus not a rush. JElphinston. III. TO Al^ ILL-rORMED LADY. Your face, which is beautifal, you cover with a black veil ;' but with your person, which is not beautiful, you offend the waters in which you bathe. Imagine that the nymph of the brook herself addresses you in these words of mine : "Either uncover your face, or bathe dressed." Thy face, that 's fair, thou veil'st when thou dost go To bathe, an ugly body naked show. Believe the water-nymph thee thus doth pray, "Bathe in thv clothes, or cast thy veil avray." Anon. 1695. IV. TO HIS BOOK. G-o your ways to E-ome, my book. If Borne shall ask whence you are come, you will say from the quarter to which the JEmilian Way leads. If she shall inquire in what land I am, or in what city, you may reply that I am at Cornelii Forum. 2 If she ask the reason of my absence, make in few words a full confession : " He was not able to endure the wearisomeness and vanity of the toga." ^ If she shall say, 1 Nigro velamine. We prefer this reading to the other, nigro medica- mine, "with a black ointment," which Schneidewin adopts. If the lady's face was beautiful, there would be little need of any application, black or of any other colour, to improve it. Velamine also suits better with the following aperi. ' A town of Gallia Togata, now called Imola. 3 The trouble of visits of ceremony to patrons, which were paid in the toga. BOOK III.] EPIGRAMS. 133 "When is he likely to return ?" reply, "He departed a poet : he will return when he has learned to play the lyre."^ Hie thee to Kome, my book. If whence, she say ; Tell her thou comest from th' ^milian Way. If, in what track or town, she ask, we be ; In old Cornelius' Forum, Madam, he. Why does the poet stray so far from town ? He could not bear the languors of the gown. When comes he back ? the next inquiry moves : A bard he went ; but comes, when he a minstrel proves. Elphinston Y. TO HIS booe:. Do you wish, my little book, who are going to the city without me, to have recommendations to several persons ? or will one person be sufficient ? One, believe me, will be suffi- cient, — one to whom you Avill not be a stranger, — Julius, whose name is so constantly on my lips. Him you will seek out without delay, near the very entrance to the Via Tecta ; he lives in the house which Daphnis once occupied. He has a wife, who will receive you to her arms and bosom, even were you to go to her covered with dust. Whether you see them together, or either of them first, you will say, " Marcus bids me salute you," and that is enough. Let letters of introduction herald others ; he is foolish, who thinks it ne- cessary to be introduced to his own friends. Thee, little book, whom swift to town I send. To many, or to one, shall I commend ? To one, enough; nor shalt a stranger be : Jufius ! a consecrated name to me. To him then hie : lo ! sitting at the door, (He guards the gods, that Daphnis did before,) lliou seest his dame, whose longing arms will press, Or bosom, thee, should'st all in dust address. Whether them both, or either, thou assail. Say : Marcus bid you, both or either, hail. Let dedications incense power or pelf : No letter need address another self. Elphinston. VI. TO MAECELLI^frS. This is the third day, Marcellinus, after the Ides of May ; a day to be celebrated by you with double rites: for it ^ Players on the lyre or harp being valued at Rome more than poets. See B. V. Ep. 57. 134 maetial's witnessed the introduction of your father to the light of heaven, and was the first to receive the offering from your blooming cheeks.^ Although the day conferred on your father the gift of a happy life, yet it never afforded him a greater blessing than your safe arrival at manhood. Hail, happy third beyond the Ides of May ! Twice, my dear Marcelline, thy holy day. This brought thy parent to th' ethereal gales : This of thy down the primal harvest hails. On this whatever joys have whilom flow'd, More on a father never day bestow'd. Elphinston. VII. OIS" THE ABOLITIOIS- OF THE SPORTULA BY DOMITIAIS". Farewell at length, ye paltry hundred farthings, the pa- tron's largess to his worn-out escort, doled out by the half- boiled bathing-man, "What think ye, my masters, who starve your friends ? The sportulse of proud patrons are no more, there is no way of escape: you must now give a regular dinner.^ Ye hundred poor farthings, farewell. - His dole the vain drudge no more tell. The bathmonger boil'd did divide it : Ye starvelings, how could ye abide it ? The tyrant's proud basket is broke : Our salary now is no joke. Elphinston. YIII. OK QUINTTJS. " Quintus is in love with Thais."— What Thais ?— " Thais with one eye." — Thais wants one eye ; he wants two. Quintus loves Thais. — Which ? — Thais the blind. As she wants one eye, he wants both, I find. Anon. 1695. Phryne, as odious as youth well can be, The daughter of a courtier in high place, Met with a filthy mass that could not see ; His blindness she, and that excused her face. ^ The first cuttings from the beard, which was always cut, for the first time, with great ceremony ; the day on which it was done being kept as a festival, and the hair cut off being dedicated to some god. This was the commencement of manhood. '^ A regular supper, or late dinner, which Domitian ordered to be given by patrons to their followers, instead of the hundred farthings for the sportula, which appear to have been sometimes distributed by the bath- keepers. BOOK III.] EPIGEAMS. 135 Were she not ugly, she would him despise ; Nor would he marry her if he had eyes. To their defects they 're for the match in debt, And, but for faults on both sides, ne'er had met. Seclle^ . IX. 01^ CINKA. Cinna, I am told, is a writer of small squibs against me. A man cannot be called a writer, whose effusions no one reads. Cinna writes verses against me, 't is said : He writes not, whose bad verse no man doth read. Fletcher. Against me Cinna, as I hear, indites ; Since none him reads, who can affirm he writes ? Anon. 1695. Jack writes severe lampoons on me, 't is said — But he writes nothing, who is never read. Hodgson. X. TO PHILOMUSUS. Tour father, Philomusus, allowed you two thousand ses- terces a month, and paid you day by day ; because, with you, the wants of the morrow always pressed close on the extra- vagance of to-day; and consequently it was necessary to allow daily aliment to your vices. Your father is now dead, and has left you his sole heir ; and by so doing, Philomusus, he has disinherited you.^ Your father gave you a large monthly pay ; And this continued to his dying day : Yet want still follow'd close your luxury ; And daily vices daily craved supply : But now he all hath left you, and is dead. By being heir you 're disinherited. Hay. Your father, young Split-coin, they say, Allow'd you five hundred a year ; And it came like a corporal's pay ; Each week he made up the arrear. 'T would keep you from starving, he thought ; For he knew your extravagance such. That to-morrow you 'd ne'er have a groat, Though to-day you got ever so much. But his will, in appearance less strict. Outright gave you all he could give : Why, already we see how you 're trick' d — Disinherited, Bob, as I live. N. B. Halhead. ^ Because you will soon squander all he has bequeathed you. 136 maetial's xi. to qtjixtus. If your mistress, Quintus, is neither Thais nor one-eyed, why do you imagine m}^ distich to have been levelled against you ? — But perhaps there is some similarity in the name ; perhaps it said Thais for Lais. — Tell me, what similarity is there between Thais and Hermione ? — But you are Quintus, you say ; — well, let us change the name of the lover. If Quintus will not have Thais, let Sextus be her swain. ^ If she thou lov'st nor bhnd nor Thais be, 'What makes thee think last distich writ on thee ? If Lais 'twere, and her I 'd Thais named, For such resemblance I might well be blamed : But what similitude do these two bear ? How do Hermione and Thais pair ? But thou art Quintus, and that name I chuse. Be 't so : I always feigned names do use. I '11 change the lover's name, if that please more ; Sextus, not Quintus, Thais loves, the whore. Amn. 1695. XII. ox rABTJLLIIS. n The perfumes, I own, were good which you gave your guests yesterday ; but you carved nothing. It is a queer kind of entertainment to be perfumed and starved at the same time. A man, Fabullus, who eats nothing, and is embalmed, seems to me a veritable corpse. Faith! your essence was excelling; But you gave us nought to eat : Nothing tasting, sweetly smelling, Is, Fabullus, scarce a treat. Let me see a fowl unjoin ted, When your table next is spread : Who not feeds, but is anointed, Lives like nothing but the dead. George Lamb. ^ Tills Epigram requires a commeiU. A certain Quintus was angry at Martial en account of the eighth Epigram. As the name of his mistress was Hermione, and she was not one-eyed, Martial asks him how he could have supposed that the Epigram Avas directed against her and him. If there had been, he adds, any similarity in the names, — if your mistress, for instance, had been called Lais, you might have fancied that Lais was meant by Thais ; but what similarity is there between Thais and Hermione? But, you will say, I mentioned Quintus in those lines, and your name is Quintus. Well then, to please you, I will change the name, and for Quintus substitute Sextus, since it is of no consequence to me by what name, " Fifth" or " Sixth," I call Thais's lover. BOOK III.] • EPiaRAMS. 137 XIII. TO N^VIA. "WTiile you refuse to cut up the hare, Naevia, and the mul- let, and spare the boar which is already more than putrid, you accuse and ill-treat your cook, on the pretence that he has served up everything raw and indigestible. At such a banquet I shall never suffer from indigestion. While boar to carve, and mullets thou dost spare, Wilt sooner cut thy father up, than hare : But, as if all were crude, thy cook dost beat. No crudities they '11 find, whom thou dost treat. Anon. 1695. XIT. OTT TUCCIUS. The hungry Tuccius had left Spain and was coming to Eome. But a rumour about the sportula met him, and he turned back at the ^lulvian Bridge.^ Starved Tuccius from remotest Spain did come, Full of great hopes plenty to find in Rome : But at the very port being told the hard Duty of clients, and their lean reward, He turned straight his horse's head again, With switch and spur posted him back to Spain. Anon. 1695. A Yorkshire squire, an epicure well known, Set forth to spend his winter months in town, But heard the dev'lish price of beef and pork, Stopp 'd short at Highgate, and returned to York. Hev. R. Graves. XT. OIT CODETJS. No one in the whole city gives more credit ^ than Codrus. — " But since he is so poor, how can that be ? " — He bestows his affections with his eyes shut. Tom gives more trust than any one in trade. — And yet so poor ? — Tom thinks his love a maid. Hodgson. XTI. TO A COBBLEB. Cobbler, kinglet of cobblers, you give gladiatorial ex- hibitions, and what your awl has bestowed the sword destroys. ^ He heard of the smallness of the sportula, and the trouble and humilia- tion to be endured in obtaining it, and at once turned back, though he had reached the Mulvian Bridge, which was only a mile from Rome. ^ A jeu de mots on the different meanings of " credit," viz., " he lends money on credit," and "he yields implicit faith." 138 martial' s You are intoxicated ; for you never would have acted wlien sober, in such a way as to amuse yourself, cobbler, at the expense of your tanned hides. You have had your sport ; and now, be advised, remember to confine yourself within your own natural skin. An haughty enrich'd cobbler durst bestow A most profuse and princely fencers' show : "What in his life he earned by the awl, At sword and buckler fight he made fly all. Sure thou wert drunk ; thou could'st not, cobbler, play, In any sober mood, thy hide away. Enough of shows ; now to thy skins abide : Fear what befell the ass i' th' lion's hide. Anon. 1695. XVTI. OK SABIDirS. A tart, which had been carried round the second course several times, burnt the hand with its excessive heat. But the throat of Sabidius was still more ardent to swallow it ; he immediately, therefore, blew upon it three or four times with his mouth. The tart certainly grew cooler, and seemed likely to allow us to touch it. But no one would touch it : it was infected. A tart around the second service flew, And burnt whatever hand the nearest drew. More burn'd Sabidius' maw : his cheeks he swell'd, And in repeated blasts his breath repell'd. The tart, relenting, could admit the touch : But ah ! the tart relented ^ now too much. JElphmston. XVIII. TO MAXIMTJS. In your exordium you complained that you had caught a cold in your throat. Since you have excused yourself, Maximus, why do you recite ? Thou hast got a dire cold : it is well understood : Why elaborate on ? The apology's good. lElphinston. XIX. ON A YIPER. Close to the hundred columns, where figures of wild beasts adorn the plane-grove, is to be seen a she-bear. The fair Hylas, playing near it, explored its yawning jaws, and buried his tender hand in its mouth ; but an accursed viper was 1 That is, it tended to dissolution, became putrid. BOOK III.] EPIGEAMS. 139 lurking in the dark recesses of the brazen throat, and the bear was animated with a breath more deadly than its own. The child did not perceive that any mischief was there, until he was dying from the bite of the snake. Oh, sad mis- fortune ! that the bear was not a real one ! In the Piazza, where tall poplars grow. And well-carved beasts adorn the shaded row, A rugged bear takes up a mighty space, The ornament and terror of the place. Young Hylas there the horrid monster saw, And fearless sported with its gaping jaw. A lurking viper animates the stone, And arms the brute with poison, not its own. Too late, alas ! the fair expiring boy Found bears could sting, and marble could destroy. li. Luck, 1736. XX. ON" CAIflTJS. Tell me, my Muse, what my Canius Eufus ^ is doing. Is he committing to imperishable tablets the history of the family of the Claudii, for future generations to read; or refuting the falsehoods of the historian of Nero ? Or is he imitating the jocosity of the plain-speaking Phaedrus ? ^ Or is he sport- ing in elegiacs ; or writing gravely in heroic verse ? Or is he terrible in the buskin of Sophocles ? Or is he idling in the school of the poets, uttering jests seasoned with Attic salt ? Or, if he has retired from thence, is he pacing the portico of the temple of Isis,^ or traversing at his ease the enclosure of the Argonauts ? ^ Or rather, is he sitting or walking, in the afternoon, free from cankering cares, in the sunny box-groves of the delicate Europa ? ^ Or is he bathing in the warm baths of Titus or of Agrippa, or in that of the shameless Tigillinus ? ^ Or is he enjoying the country seat of Tullus 1 B. i. Ep. 70. 2 It is supposed by Gronovius and others, with great prohahility, that Phsedrus, the writer of fables, is meant, whom Martial calls improbus, or " plain-speaking," because he satirizes the actions of men by words put into the mouths of the inferior animals. What " historian of Nero " is meant, is unknown. 3 See B. ii. Ep. 14. The original has merely " temple," but all the commentators agree that the temple of Isis is meant. * The area and portico of Agrippa, adorned with paintings of the ad- ventures of the Argonauts. 5 See B. ii. Ep. 14. ^ Sophonius Tigillinus, an unprincipled character, mentioned by Ju- venal, Sat. I., and by Tacitus. 140 maetial's and Lucanus ? ^ or hastening to Pollio's delightful retreat, four miles from the city ? Or has he set out for scorch- ing Baiae, and is he now sailing about on the Lucrine lake ? — " Do you wish to know what your Canius is doing? Laughing." Tell me, my Muse, how Canius spends his time : In lasting leaves, and in immortal rhyme, Does he the facts of Nero rightly state, From malice and from flatt'ry free, relate ? Light elegies, or grave heroics yMcite ? r th' comic, or the tragic strain delight ? Or in the poets' school does Canius sit, Regaling all with his choice Attic wit ? Or else, being free from study, does he talk r th' temples, and the shady porches walk ? Bathes he ? Or from the city toil retired, Are fields and rivers more by him admired, Baia's or Lucrin's sweet recess desired ? l^Muse.'] How Canius spends his time, would' st have me show? He laughs at all which most men serious do. Anon. 1695. XXI. ON" A MASTER A]S"D SLATE. A slave, branded on the forehead by his master, saved him when proscribed. Thus, while the life of the master was preserved, his infamy ^ was perpetuated. Who, saved by his man, does stigmatize the same, Returns himself to banish his good name. Wright. XXII. ON APICIUS. You had spent, Apicius, sixty millions of sesterces^ on your belly, but you had still left a loose ten millions. In despair at such a reduction, as if you were condemned to en- dure hunger and thirst, you took as a last draught, a dose of poison. JNo greater proof of your gluttony than this, Apicius, was ever given by you. Six hundred thousand spent, and butt Ten thousand left to feed his gutt, Fearing for want of food to dye, Despairing, hee did poyson buy ; Never was known such gluttonye. OlcUIS. 16th Cent. » Two brothers ; see B. i. Ep. 37 ; B. ix. Ep. 52. ^ The infamy of a master who could have branded a slave so attached to him. 2 About half a million of our money. EOOK III.] EPIGEAMS. 141 XXIII. TO A NIGGAEDLT HOST. Since you hand over all the dishes to the slaves behind you, why is not your table spread at your back ? ^ AU to the boys thou reachest o'er the shoulder. Set them a table, that they may grow bolder. Elphinston. xxiY. o:sr a tuscait soothsatee. A goat, guilty of having gnawed a vine, was standing doomed before the altar of Bacchus, a grateful victim for his sacred rites. When the Tuscan soothsayer was about to sacrifice him to the god, he chanced to order a rustic and unlettered countryman to castrate the animal quickly with a sharp knife, so that the foul odour from the unclean flesh might pass away.^ But while he himself, with his body bent over the grassy altar, Avas cutting the neck of the struggling animal with his knife, and pressing it down with his hand, an immense hernia of his own showed itself at the outraged rites. This the rustic seized and cut, thinking that the ancient rites of sacrifice demanded it, and that the ancient deities were honoured with such offerings. So you, who but a while since were a Tuscan, are become a Gallus ; ^ and while you were cutting the throat of a goat, you were cut yourself, A goat without awe, Who tendrils would gnaw, Was doom'd on the altar to die. Now, Bacchus, thy priest Laid hold of the beast ! And thus to a clown that stood by : "While I shall divine, Lop off either sign, That so no rank odour remain." When now he would slay, Both struggHngly lay ; Both doom'd the green altar to stain. As thus they lay low, How dire was the show! The auspices saw it, and scowl'd. 1 Ad pedes. Properly " at your feet," where the slaves in waiting stood; a little withdrawn towards the back of the master. 2 A supposed effect of the operation. 3 A priest of Cybele. The word Gallus means also a Gaul. 142 maetial's The clown, with a knife, Clear' d all to the life : Too late the bare bacchanal howl'd. Well thought the poor man. When orgies began, Such fibres high honour were held in. The priest of the god Own'd Cybele's nod ; And, slaying the goat, proved a gelding. Elphinston XXV. TO TATISTIKUS, OlS^ A FEIGHD EHETOEICIAl!?^. If you wish, Faustinus, a bath of boiling water to be re- duced in temperature, — a bath, such as scarcely Julianus could enter, — ask the rhetorician Sabinseus to bathe him- self in it. He would freeze the warm baths of Nero. If thy hot bath, Faustus, thou seek'st to cure, 'Bove what a paralytic can endure : Let orator Sabinus enter in Nero's hot baths, he '11 make a cooling spring. Anon. 1695. XXVI. TO CANDIDUS. Alone you possess your farms, Candiaus, alone your cash ; alone your golden and murrhine vessels ; alone your Massic wine, alone your Csecuban of Opimius' year ; alone your heart, alone your wit; alone you possess all your property ; (do you think I wish to deny it ?) — but your wife, Candidus, you share with all the world. Candidus has alone fine farms, gold coin. Myrrh, and drinks Csecuban, and Massic wine ; Has the sole wisdom, and the only wit ; Enjoys the world alone, and all in it. But has he all alone ? That I deny ; His wife with all is in community. Fletcher. Thy pleasant farm thou dost enjoy alone, Thy money, plate, communicat'st to none. Alone, thou aged Massic wine dost drink, Alone thyself both wise and witty think : That all thou hast alone, I yet deny, Thy wife is common, or the people lie. Anon. 1695. XXVII. TO GALLTJS. Tou never invite me again, although you frequently accept BOOK III.] EPIGEAMS. 143 my invitations. I pardon you, Grallus, provided tbat you do not invite others. But others you certainly do invite ; — we are both in the wrong. " How so ? " you ask. I have no common sense ; and you, Gallus, no sense of shame. I often you, you mee doe never bid, Which I could pardon if none else you did ; But others you invite : — we 're both to blame, — Myself for want c^f witt, and vou of shame. Old MS. 16th Cent That oft I thee, thou me dost never call To sup, I could forgive, if none at all Thou didst invite : but, churl, thou dost afford To other guests a frequent well-served board. We 're faulty both. In what, dost bid me name ? I for the want of wit, and thou of shame. Anon. 1695. XXVIII. TO 5fEST0R. You wonder that Marius' ear smells unpleasantly. You are the cause of this, Nestor ; you whisper into it. Wonder you, Nestor, Marius' ear smells strong ? Your breath 's the cause ; you whisper there so long. Wright, Thou 'rt shock'd at the bad smell from Marius' ear : 'T is from the bad thou 'rt ever whispering there. Anon. XXIX. TO sATURK, o:n^ zoilus. To thee, O Saturn, Zoilus dedicates these chains and these double fetters, his JBrst rings. ^ To thee, the god, whom freedom's sons adore. Glad Zoilus devotes the rings erewhile he wore. Mphinston. XXX. TO GARGILIAKUS. The sportula is no longer given ; ^ you dine as an ordinary guest.^ Tell me then, Gargilianus, how do you contrive to live at Eome ? Whence comes your paltry toga, and the rent of your murky den ? AVhence the money for a bath among the poor ? or for the favours of Chione ? You say you live 1 This Zoilus, Mhoever he was, had been a slave, but had risen to the dignity of a knight, when he wore a gold ring; in allusion to which Martial calls his fetters "his first rings." The fetters of slaves, on their manumission, were dedicated to Saturn, because he had himself been put in fetters by Jupiter. See B. xi. Ep. 37. ' See Ep. 7. ^ Gratis conviva recumbis. Without receiving any money. 144 in the higliest degree reasonably, but you act unreasonably, in my opinion, in living at all. No money 's paid, yet gratis eat'st my cheer, But when at Home, Gargilian, what dost there ? Whence hast thou house-rent ? or whence hast a coat ? How canst thou pay thy wench ? whence hast a groat? Though with much reason thou art said to live, Yet how thou dost it none can reason give. Fletcher. XXXI. TO EUriNUS. Ton have, I admit, many a wide acre of land, and many a farm over which Alban household gods preside; crowds of debtors to your well-filled money-chest serve you as their master, and golden tables support your meals. Do not, however, Faustinus, disdain smaller people than yourself : Didymus had more than you have ; Philomelus^ has more. I o\Mi, in manors you have large command ; And rich in houses are, as well as land : You have in mortgages a vast estate : Your table elegant, and served in plate. Despise not your inferiors on this score : More once had Verres, Cheatall now hath more. Hay. I own, Sir Lutestring, you 've a million clear, You boast in lands ten thousand pounds a year ; Your various mortgages no chest can hold, Subscriptions, loans, and South Sea stock untold ; You eat on silver, and you drink in gold. Yet sneer not righteous patriots, though on foot, Nor grin at virtue in an old surtoul. Sejanus claim'd than you a larger store Rufinus and Eutropius, sir, had more, And so had Osterman, — but all is o'er. Gentleman^s Mag. vol. xii. Disdain not, Rufus, all that yet are poor ; There 's greater rogues than you, that have much more. Anon. 1695. XXXII. TO MATKINIA. Tou ask, Matrinia, whether I can love an old woman. I can, even an old woman : but you are not an old woman ; you are a corpse. I can love a Hecuba or a Niobe, Matrinia, provided the one has not yet become a hound, or the other a stone. * Names of low people who had become rich at Rome. BOOK III.] EPIGEAMS. 145 Ask you, poor Bell, if I can love the old ? I can, — but you are absolutely dead. Sad Niobe, or Hecuba the scold, I might have borne ; but nature's self had fled From tender looks, and arms in fondness thrown Around the railing bitch or weeping stone. Sedley. XXXIII. THE IDEAL OF HIS MISTRESS. I prefer a lady ; but if such is denied me, my next choice would be a freed-woman. A slave is the last resource ; but if her beauty indemnifies the want of birth, I shall prefer her to either. A wife of high descent, I first would wed ; For want of such, one freed should share my bed ; A slave the last ; yet if she nohle be Inform, I 'd chuse her first of all the three. Anon. 1695. XXXIT. TO CHIONE. "Why you are at once deserving and undeserving of your name, I will tell you. You are cold, and you are black. You are not, and you are, Chione.^ To Chio7ie, or Madam Snoio. Fit and unfit thy name to thee doth show, For black and cold thou art, Snow and not SnoAv. Anon. 1695, XXXT. ON SOME SCTJLPTUIIED PISH You see those fish before you, a beautiful example of the sculpture of Phidias ; give them water, and they will swim. So graved to th' life by Phidias' art, you 'Id swear The fish would swimme, were butt the water there. Old 3IS. l&h Cent. XXXVI. TO PABIANUS. Such attentions as you receive from a new and lately made friend, Fabianus, you expect to receive also from me. You ex- pect that I should constantly run in dishabille to salute you at the dawn of day, and that your litter should drag me through the middle of the mud ; that, worn out, I should follow you at four o'clock or later to the baths of Agrippa, while I my- self wash in those of Titus. Is this my reward after twenty 1 Chion is Greek for snow. L 146 maetial's winters' service, Fabianus, that I am ever to be in my ap- prenticeship to your friendship ? Is this what I have gained, Eabianus, by my worn-out toga, — and this too my own, — that you do not consider me to have yet earned my discharge ? Of a new Mend the duties dire, Thou, Fabian, wouldst of me require : That bristhng I each morn repair, To tend through thick and thin thy chair : That I, at ten, or later hour. Despising toil's and hunger's power. Convoy thee to Agrippa's wave, When I must thence with Titus lave. Thus, thirty winters at thy will ! And must I be thy novice still ? This salary must I make known, For wearing out the gown my own ? Nor have I length of duty trod, To merit the discharging rod ? Elphinston. XXXVIl. TO HIS EICH TEIENDS. My rich friends, you know nothing save how to put your- selves into a passion. It is not a nice thing for you to do, but it suits your purpose. Do it. Rich friends 'gainst poor to anger still are prone : It is not well, but profitably done. May. XXXVIII. TO SEXTTJS. What cause or what presumption, Sextus, brings you to Eome ? what do you expect or seek here ? Tell me. "I will plead causes," you say, "more eloquently than Cicero himself, and in the three forums ^ there shall be no one to equal me." Atestinus pleaded causes, and Civis ; you knew both of them ; but neither made enough to pay for his lodging. " If nothing is to be gained from this pursuit, I will write verses : when you have heard them, you will say they are Virgil's oAvn." You are mad; all that you see here shivering in threadbare cloaks are Ovids and Virgils. " I wiU push my way among the great." That trick has found sup- port for but two or three that have attempted it, while all the rest are pale with hunger. " What shall I do ? advise me : 1 The old Roman forum, that of Julius Caesar, and that of Augustus. BOOK III.] EPIGEAMS. 147 for I am determined to live at Eome," If you are a good man, Sextus, you will have to live by chance.^ To town what cause, or rather what ill star, Hath brought my friend ? say what your prospects are. More eloquent than Murray I will be ; In the four courts, not one shall rival me. Some, whom we know, in hall their time have lost : Others have rid the circuit, and paid cost. If that won't do, verses compose I will. Equal to Maro's. That is wilder stilL In window'd hose, and garments twice conveyed, Our Ovids and our Virgils are array'd. Then I '11 attend the great. How few thrive by it ! The rest all starve upon so thin a diet. TeU me, then, what to do : here live I must. You 're a good man ; and in the Lord must trust. Hay. What business or what hope brings you to town, Who canst not pimp, nor cheat, nor swear, nor lie ? This place will nourish no such idle drone ; Hence in remoter parts thy fortune try. But thou hast courage, honesty, and wit. And one, or all these three, will give thee bread : The malice of this town thou know'st not yet : Wit is a good diversion, but base trade. Cowards will for thy courage call thee bully, Till all, like Thraso's, thy acquaintance shun ! Rogues call thee for thy honesty a cully : Yet this is all thou hast to live upon. Friend, three such virtues Audley had undone : Be wise, and, ere thou'rt in the gaol, begone. Of all that starving crew we saw to-day, None but has kill 'd his man, or writ his play. Sedley. XXXIX. TO TAUSTINUS. The one-eyed Lycoris, Eaustinus, has set her affections on a boy like the Trojan shepherd. How well the one-eyed Lycoris sees ! One-eyed Lycoris' love 's more fair than he Kept flocks on Ida. How the blind can see ! Anon. 1695. ^ Since it is only the bad that make sure of a living at Rome. L 2 148 maetial's xl. to thelesintjs. For lending me one hundred and fifty thousand sesterces ' out of the vast wealth which your heavy chest, Thelesinus, contains, you imagine yourself a great friend to me. You great, for lending ? Say rather, I am great, for repaying. For having lent, forsooth, an hundred pound From full-cramm'd chests and wealth that does ahound, Thou think' st that thou much greatness hast display'd : But that the grandeur 's mine, it may be said ; "Who, being poor, so great a sum repaid. Anon, 1695. XLI. Olf A SCTJLPTTJEED LIZAED. The lizard wrought upon this vessel by the hand of Mentor, is so life-like that the silver becomes an object of terror. Mentor i' th' ewre so lively graved a newte. You 'd think it breathed, and feare it, butt you knew 't. Old MS. I6th Cent. The lizard wrought by Mentor's hand so rare Was fear'd i' th' cup, as though it living were. Wright. XLII. TO POLLA. When you try to conceal your wrinkles, Polla, with paste made from beans, you deceive yourself, not me. Let a defect, which is possibly but small, appear undisguised. A fault concealed is presumed to be great. Thou seek'st with lard to smooth thy wrinkled skin, Bedaub'st thyself, and dost no lover win. Simple decays men easily pass by, But, hid, suspect some great deformity. Anon. 1695. Leave off thy paint, perfumes, and youthful dress. And nature's failing honestly confess ; Double we see those faults which art would mend, Plain downright ughness would less offend. Sedley. XLIII. TO L^TINUS. You ape youth, Laetinus, with your dyed hair ; and you, who were but now a swau, are suddenly become a crow ! You mU not deceive every one : Proserpine knows that you are hoary, and will snatch the mask from your head. ^ About twelve hundred pounds of our money. BOOK ni.] EPIGRAMS. 149 Lentinus counterfeits his youth With periwigs, I trow, But art thou changed so soon, in truth, From a swan to a crow ? Thou canst not all the world deceive : Proserpine knows thee gray ; And she '11 make bold, without your leave, To take your cap away. Fletcher. Before a swan, behind a crow. Such self-deceit I ne'er did know. Ah, cease your arts ! Death knows you 're grey. And, spite of all, will have his way. Dr Hoadley. Thou, that not a month ago Wast white as swan or driven snow, Now blacker far than -^sop's crow. Thanks to thy wig, sett'st up for beau : Faith, Harry, thou 'rt i' the wn-ong box ; Old age these vain endeavours mocks. And time, that knows thou 'st hoary locks, Will pluck thy mask off with a pox. Tom Browne. XLIY. TO LIGTTEINUS. Do you wish to know the reason, Ligurinus, that no one willingly meets you ; that, wherever you come, everybody takes fliglit, and a vast solitude is left around you ? Tou are too much of a poet. This is an extremely dangerous fault. The tigress aroused by the loss of her whelps, the viper scorched by the midday sun, or the ruthless scorpion, are less objects of terror than you. For who, I ask, could undergo such calls upon his patience as you make ? Tou read your verses to me, whether I am standing, or sitting, or running, or about private business. I fly to the hot baths, there you din my ears : I seek the cold bath, there I cannot swim for your noise : I hasten to dinner, you stop me on my way ; I sit down to dinner, you drive me from my seat : wearied, I fall asleep, you rouse me from my couch. Do you wish to see how much evil you occasion ? — Tou, a man just, upright, and innocent, are an object of fear. You come ; away flies every mother's son : On Bagshot Heath you can't be more alone. If you ask, why, — you are bewitch'd with rhyme : • And this, believe me, is a dangerous crime. 150 MAETIAL*S Robb'd of her whelps, a tigress thus we shun ; Or viper basking in the noon-day sun : Not more the dreadful scorpion's sting we fear, Than this incessant lugging by the ear. Standing or sitting, you repeat your lays : On my close-stool I hear them ; in my chaise : Your trumpet on the water strikes my ear ; I at Vauxhall no other music hear. When dinner waits, you seize me by the button ; At table placed, you drive me from my mutton : From a sweet nap you rouse me by your song. How much, by this, yourself and me you wrong ! The man of worth, the poet, makes us fly ; A.nd by your verse we lose your probity. Hay. You often wonder what the devil Can make the town so damn'd uncivil. With what indifference they treat you ! There 's not a soul that cares to meet you. Where'er you come, what consternation ! What universal desolation ! But for the cause — why, must you know it ? I '11 tell yo 1 ; " you 're too great a poet ; " And that 's a thing true Britons fear More than a tiger or a bear ; Your man of sense, of all God's curses, Dreads nothing like repeating verses. And really, Tom, you 're past all bearing; You 'd tire a Dutchman out with hearing. One must submit : — there 's no contending ; You keep one sitting ; keep one standing Got loose, with more than decent speed I trudge away — yet you proceed. Go where one will, there 's no retreat ; You 're at it still, repeat, repeat. I fly to " Nando's " — you are there. Still thund'ring distichs in one's ear : Thence to the park— still you 're as bad ; The ladies think you drunk or mad : " But come, 't is late, at three we dine ; " You stop one with " a charming line ; " Now down we sit ; but lo ! repeating Is greater joy to you than eating. Quite tired, I nod, and try to dose ; In vain — you 've murder' d all repose. But prithee, Tom, repent in time ; You see the sad effect of rhyme BOOK III.] EPIGEAMS. 151 (And check this humour, if you can) ; That such an honest worthy man, With so much sense, and such good nature, Should be so terrible a creature ! Rev. JR. Graves. That cousins, friends, and strangers fly thee, Nay, thy own sister can't sit nigh thee, That all men thy acquaintance shun, And into holes and corners run. Like Irish beau from English dun, The reason 's plain ; and if thou 'dst know it, Thou 'rt a most damn'd repeating poet. Not bailiff sour'd with horrid beard Is more in poor Alsatia fear'd. Since the stern Parliament of late Has stript of ancient rights their state ; Not tigers when their whelps are missing ; Not serpents in the sunshine hissing ; Not snake in tail that carries rattle ; Not fire, nor plague, nor blood, nor battle. Is half so dreaded by the throng. As thy vile persecuting tongue. If e'er the restless clack that 's in it Gives thy head leave to think a minute, Think what a penance we must bear. Thy damn'd impertinence to hear. Where'er I run, or stand, or sit, Thou still art in th' repeating fit : Wearied, I seek a nap to take ; But thy cursed muse keeps me awake. At church too, when the organ 's blowing, Thy louder pipe is still a-going. Nor park nor bagnio 's from thee free ; All places are alike to thee. Learn wisdom once, at a friend's instance. From the two fellows at St Dunstan's : Make not each man thou meet'st a martyr ; But strike, like them, but once a quarter. To77i Browne XLV. TO THE SAME. WTiether Phoebus fled from the table and supper of Thy- estes, I do not know : I flee from yours, Ligurinus. It is certainly a splendid one, and well furnished wath excellent dishes, but nothing pleases me when you recite. I do not want you to put upon table turbots or a mullet of two pounds weight, nor do I wish for mushrooms or oysters ; what I want is your silence. 152 maetial's "Whether scared Phoebus fled (my Ligurine) Thyestes' feast, I know not ; we fly thine : Though that thy table 's rich and nobly spread, < Yet thy sole talk knocks all th' enjoyment dead. Fletcher. XLYI. TO CATfDIDTIS. You demand from me, without end, the attentions due from a client. I go not myself, but send you mj freed-man. " It is not the same," you say. I will prove that it is much more. I can scarcely follow your litter, he will carry it. If you get into a crowd, he will keep it off with his elbow ; my sides are weak, and unsuited to such labour. "Whatever state- ment you may make in pleading, I should hold my tongue ; but he will roar out for you the thrice-glorious "bravo!"' If you have a dispute with any one, he will heap abuse upon your adversary with a stentorian voice ; modesty prevents me from using strong language. " Well then, will you show me," say you, "no attention as my friend ? " Yes, Candi- dus, every attention which my freedman may be unable to show. How often do you ask me to go down, To aid your interest in your borough town ? I would do all to serve you that I can : Yet cannot go : but I will send my man. You say, 't is not the same ; I '11 prove it more. I scarce can follow you ; he '11 go before. Is there a mob ? he '11 elbow folks away : I am infirm, not used to such rough play. I can't repeat the popular things you say ; He will extol them, more than once a day. Is there a quarrel ? he '11 be very loud : I am ashamed to bully in a crowd. " What ! will my friend do nothing, then ? " say you : All, that a servant cannot do, I '11 do. Hay. XLVII. TO FAUSTINTJS. Yonder, Faustinus, where the Capene Grate drips with large drops,^ and where the Almo cleanses the Phrygian ^sacrificial knives of the Mother of the Grods, where the sacred meadow of the Horatii lies verdant, and where the temple of the Little Hercules '^ swarms with many a visitor, Bassus was ^ On account of the aqueducts and springs near it. Juv. iii. 11. 2 Either Hercules worshipped as a boy, or in allusion to the smallnesa of the temple. BOOK III.] EPIGEAMS. 153 taking his way in a well-packed chariot, carrying with him all the riches of a favoured country spot. There you might have seen cabbages with noble hearts, and both kinds of leeks,^ dwarf lettuces, and beet-roots not unserviceable to the tor- pid stomach. There also you might have seen an osier ring, hung with fat thrushes ; a hare, pierced by the fangs of a Gallic hound ; and a sucking-pig, that had never yet crush- ed bean. Nor did the running footman go idly before the carriage, but bore eggs safely wrapped in hay. Was Bassus going to town ? IS'o ; he was going to his country-seat.^ Where the Capenian gate her pool extends, Where to the Phrygian parent Almo bends ; Where the Horatians verdure still the spot j Where puny Hercules's fane is hot ; Poor Bassus drove his team, but sang no song ; Lugging the struggling stores of the blest land along. There coleworts might you see of noblest shoot ; There might admire each lettuce, leek, and root ; But, above all, the deobstructive beet ; Here a rich frail of fatted thrushes greet ; And here a hare, the cruel hounds could crunch ; With a sow's unwean'd babe, that bean could never munch. Before the car, behold no idler stray : Yet one preceded, stuffing eggs in hay. Was Bassus winding his glad way to town ? No : winding his glad way to his dear viUa down. Elphinston. XLYIII. TO OLTTS. Olus built a poor man's cot,^ and sold his farms. Olus now inhabits the poor man's cot. Noble Olus constructed a poor man's retreat ; Tho' his lands aU he sold, he possesses a seat. Elphinston. XLIX. TO A HOST. Tou mix Yeientan wine for me, while you yourself drink Massic. I would rather smell the cups which you present me, than drink of them. ^ Leeks and onions are meant. 2 Bassus is ridiculed for the unproductiveness of his grounds, to which he carried supplies from the city. ^ A fancy cottage, or smaller house of reception, such as great men built for their dependents, or others, whom they did not wish to admit into their mansions. 154 maetial's You Massick drink, Veientan give to me. I need not taste ; the smell doth satisfie. Wright. L. TO LlGUKIIfTJS. The reason you ask us to dinner, Ligurinus, is no other than this, that you may recite your verses. I have just put oif my shoes, ^ when forthwith in comes an immense volume among the lettuces and sharp- sauce. Another is handed, while the first course is lingering on the table: then comes a third, before even the second course is served. During a fourth course you recite ; and again during a fifth. Why, a boar, if so often placed upon table, is unsavoury. If you do not hand over your accursed poems to the mackerel- sellers, Ligurinus, you will soon dine alone. The single cause why you invite, Is that your works you may recite. I hardly had my slippers dropp'd, Nor dream'd the entertainment stopp'd, When, mid the lettuces and salad, Is usher' d in a bloody ballad. Then, lo ! another bunch of lays, While yet the primal service stays. Another, ere the second course ; A third, and fourth, and fifth you force. The boar, beroasted now to rags. Appears in vain : the stomach flags. The labours, that destroy each dish, Were useful coats for frying fish. Afiirm, my Bard, this dire decree : Else you shall sup alone for me. Elphinston. LI. TO GALLA. When I praise your face, when I admire your limbs and hands, you tell me, Gralla, "In nature's garments I shaU please you still better." Yet you always avoid the same baths with myself. Do you fear, Gralla, that I shall not please you ? When, Galla, thy face, hands, and legs I admire, Thou say'st: "I, when naked, more pleasing shall be." Yet one common bath I full vainly require : Dost fear that I shall not be pleasing to thee ? Elphinston. LII. TO TONGILIANTJS. Tou had purchased a house, Tongilianus, for two hundred ^ In order to lie down on the dining-couch. BOOK III.] EPiaEAMS. 155 thousand sesterces ; and a calamity but too frequent in this city destroyed it. Contributions poured in to the amount of a million sesterces. May you not, I ask, be suspected of having set fire to your own house, Tongilianus ? Two hundred pound thy house, Tongilian, cost, Which was by fire — a chance too frequent ! — ^lost. Ten times as much in lieu was gather' d thee. Didst thou not burne thy house in pollicie ? May. LIII. TO CHLOE. I could do without your face, and your neck, and your hands, and your limbs, and your bosom, and other of your charms. Indeed, not to fatigue myself with enumerating each of them, I could do without you, Chloe, altogether. I could resign that eye of blue, Howe'er its splendour used to thrill me ; And ev'n that cheek of roseate hue — To lose it, Chloe, scarce would kill me. That snowy neck I ne'er should miss, However much I 've raved about it ; And sweetly as that lip can kiss, I think I could exist without it. In short, so well I've learn'd to fast, That sooth, my love, I know not whether I might not bring myself at last — T» do without you altogether. Moore. LIT. TO GALLA. Seeing that I cannot give you, Galla, what you ask of me as the price of your favours, it would be much more simple. Gralla, to say No at once. As you well know your price I cannot pay, 'T were much more simple No, at once, to say. W. S. B. LT. TO GELLIA. Wherever you come, G-ellia, we think that Cosmus ^ has mi- grated, and that his bottles are broken, and his perfumes flowing about. I would not have you delight in outlandish superfluities. You know, I suppose, that in this manner my dog might be made to smell agreeably. ^ A celebrated perfumer, mentioned B. i. Ep. 88, and elsewhere. 156 maetial's That shops of odours seem with thee to go, And rich perfumes thou dost around thee throw, Think not this much ; 't is not thy natural smell, A dog, like thee embalm'd, would scent as well. Anon. 1695. LVI. OS" EAVENNA. At Eavenna, I would rather have a cistern than a vineyard, as I could sell water there for much more than wine. Lodged at Ravenna, water sells so dear, A cistern to a vineyard I prefer. Addison. LTII. ON AN INNKEEPER AT EAYENNA. A crafty innkeeper at Eavenna lately cheated me. I asked him for wine and water ; he sold me pure wine. By a Ravenna vintner once betray'd, So much for wine and water mix'd I paid ; But when I thought the purchased liquor mine, The rascal fobb'd me off with only wine. Addison. A landlord of Bath put upon me a queer hum: I ask'd him for punch, and the dog gave me mere rum.^ T. Warton. LYIII. TO BASSTJS, ON THE COTJNTET-HOTJSE OP EAUSTINUS. Our friend Faustinus's Baian farm, Bassus, does not occupy an ungrateful expanse of broad land^ laid out with useless myrtle groves, sterile plane-trees, and clipped box- rows, but rejoices in a real unsophisticated country scene. Here close-pressed heaps of corn are crammed into every corner, and many a cask is redolent with wine of old vint- ages. Here, after November, when winter is at hand, the rough vine-dresser brings in the ripened grapes ; the sa- vage bulls bellow in the deep valley, and the steer, with forehead still unarmed, yearns for the fight. The whole muster of the farmyard roams at large, the screaming goose, the spangled peacock, the bird which derives its name from its red wings,^ the spotted partridge, the speckled fowls of Numidia, and the pheasants of the impious Colchians ; the ^ A play on the original : Callidus imposuit nuper mihi copo Ravennae ; Ciim peterem mixtum, vendidit Ule merum. 2 The phoenicopterus, or flamingo. BOOK III.] EPIGRAMS. 157 proud cocks caress their E-hodian mates, and the turrets resound with the murmur of pigeons. On this side mourns the ringdove, on that the wax-coloured turtle-dove; the greedy swine follow the apron of the bailiff's wife, and the tender lamb bleats after its well-filled mother. Young house-bred slaves, sleek as milk, surround the cheerful fire, and piles of wood blaze near the joyous Lares. The steward does not, through inactivity, grow pale with enervating ease, nor waste oil in anointing himself for wrestling,^ but sets crafty nets for greedy thrushes, or draws up fish captured with the tremulous line, or brings home deer caught in the hunter's toils. The productive garden amuses the well-pleased towns- men,^ and long-haired children, freed from the rule of their instructor, delight to obey the farm-bailiff, and even the effeminate eunuch finds enjoyment in working. Nor does the rustic come empty-handed to pay his respects ; he brings with him white honey in its waxen cells, and the conical cheese from the forest of Sassina, This one offers the sleepy dor- mouse, that the bleating young of the hairy she-goat ; another, the capon debarred from loving. Tall maidens, daughters of honest husbandmen, bring their mothers' presents in baskets of osiers. "Work being over, the cheerful neighbourhood is invited in ; nor does a stinted table reserve its dainties for the morrow, but every one eats his fill, and the well-fed attendant has no cause to envy the reeling guest. But you, Bassus, possess in the suburbs of the city a splendid mansion, where your visitor is starved, and where, from lofty towers, you look over mere laurels secure in a garden where Priapus need fear no thief. You feed your vinedresser on corn which you have bought in town, and carry idly to your ornamental farm vegetables, eggs, chickens, fruits, cheese, and wine. Should your dwelling be called a country-house, or a town-house out of town ? At my Faustinus' country-house there growes No equal ranked shady myrtle rowes, Or barren plane-trees ; no boxe-hedges there Cut into various figures doe appeare To please the eye, engrossing a large field, And nought but an unfruitful prospect yield, ^ He employs himself in more profitable occupations. Perdere oleum et operant, says the adage. ^ Who come to visit the place. 158 maetial's But more delights in the true country's dress, In wilder forms affording rich increase. The barnes and garners there with corne are fill'd : And fragrant wines the spacious cellars yield ; There (vintage past) when winter days begin, The rough vine-di*esser latter grapes brings in ; Fierce bulls low in the yales, and there delight The wanton calves with budding homes to fright. The yard all sorts of poultry there mayntaynes ; Shrill geese, and peacocks with their starry trajTies ; The crimson and Numidian birds there nest, Pheasant, and partridge with his speckled breast ; The lustfuU cocks the Rhodian henns there tread. With moaning doves the house-topp 's covered ; The ring-doves in their mournfuU notes complayne, "Which the soft turtles echo back againe ; The gruntling swine follow the house-wife's feete. The tender lambes for their dam's teats doe bleate ; The milk-fedd clownes begird the shining hearth. And, warm'd with the huge loggs, begin their mirth. The caterer, nott with ease languishing. Butt, with his pajmefull swett, the cates brings in ; For greedy thrushes with spredd netts hee waytes ; Or angling taketh fishes with his baytes ; Or deere caught in the toyles he bringeth home. The merry maydes supply the gardner's roome. The nicer pages here without command Delight in country-worke to have their hand, And the neate chamberlayne putts in his too. No farmer there doth empty-handed goe To visit you. — One honny in the combe, Another curds and creame from his owne home By th' next wood's side ; some sleepy dormice give, A kidd, or capons forced chaste to live ; And with their baskets the plumpe girles are sent Their mothers' gifts and service to present. Harvest being done, neighbours invited, there No dish reserved is for next daye's fare ; All eate their fill ; nor does the wayter curse The full-fedd, well-drench'd guest, 'cause hee has worse. You your neate hungry suburbe house may prayse. From your balconies viewing naught butt bayes ; You no Priapus neede there to preserve Your fruite : your gardein would your gardner sterve. When from the city thither you retreate. You must bringe with you (if you meane to eate) BOOK III.] EPIGRAMS. 159 • Your sallades, poultry, fruites, cheese, and your wine, Else on your painted viands you must dine. Is this that thing your country-house you call ? No. Tis your cyty-house without the wall. Old MS. IQth Cent* LIX. O^ A COBBLEE AND A DTEE. A paltry cobbler, elegant Bononia, has exhibited to thee a show of gladiators ; *a dyer has done the same to Mutina. Now where will the innkeeper exhibit ? ^ On the Cobbler and Fuller ; To the Vintner. Thee, Bononia, thy mender ; thee, Mutina, Scrub Gave a boon : where shalt thou give one, grape-sucking grub ? Elj)hinston. LX. TO POSTICUS. Seeing that I am invited to dinner, and am no longer, as before, to be bought,^ why is not the same dinner given to me, as to you ? You partake of oysters fattened in the Lucrine lake ; I tear my lips in sucking at a limpet. Before you are placed splendid mushrooms ; I help myself to such as are fit only for pigs. You are provided with a turbot ; I with a sparulus.^ The golden turtle-dove fills your stomach with its over-fattened body ; a magpie which died in its cage is set before me. Why do I dine without you, Ponticus, when I dine with you ? Let it be of some profit to me that the spor- tula exists no longer ; let us eat of the same dishes. Me, as a friend, to supper you invite : Why have we then our supper different quite ? Colchester oysters you, and mussels I ? Yours perigord, and mine a mutton pie ? I have no rarities, you eat them up : Strange ! I should with you and without you sup ! Came I, to see the king at table, hither ? If we must eat, pray let us eat together. Hay, LXI. TO CT^iNA. Whatever favour you ask, presuming Cinna, you call nothing : if you ask for nothing, Cmna, I refuse you nothing. * For other versions or translations of this Epigram see Pope, in Guardian, 173, The Connoisseur, 33, and Beji Jonson, in his Penshurst. ^ An expression of indignation that low characters should give shows to the populace. See Ep. 16. 2 ^^ allusion to the abolition of the sportula ; Ep. 7. ^ Sparulus, some unknown kind of fish. Some think it the bream. See Plin. H. N. xxxii. 1 1 ; Cels. ii. 18 ; Ov. Hal. 106. 160 maetial's WLate'er you ask, 'tis nothing, still you cry : * If nothing, Cinna, nothing I '11 deny. Wright 'T is a mere nothing that you ask, you cry : If you ask nothing, nothing I deny. Say. LXII. TO QUINTTJS. Because you purchase slaves at a hundred and often two hundred thousand sesterces ; because you drink wines stored in the reign of JSTuma; because your not over-large stock of furniture cost you a million ; because a pound weight of wrought silver costs you five thousand; because a golden chariot becomes yours at the price of a whole, farm ; because your mule cost you more than the value of a house ; — do you imagine that such expenses are the proof of a great mind, Quiutus ? You are mistaken, Quintus ; they are the extra- vagances of a small mind. Upon rich liveries no expense you spare Your Rhenish older than the first French war ; Your little cabinet cost hundreds three. And full as much your little carved settee ; Your gilded coach a moderate estate ; More than a house your pad is valued at. Think you you show a soul by this expense ? A little one it is, and void of sense. -Hay. ; Milo, forbear to call him blest That only boasts a large estate, Should all the treasures of the East Meet, and conspu'e to make him great. * * * Let a broad stream with golden sands Through all his meadows roll, He 's but a wretch, with all his lands. That wears a narrow, soul. Dr Watts. LXIII. TO COTILTJS. Cotilus, you are a beau; so say many, Cotilus, I hear; but tell me, what is a beau ? "A beau is one who arranges his curled locks gracefully, who ever smells of balm, and cinnamon ; who hums the songs of the Nile, and Cadiz ; who throws his sleek arms into various attitudes ; who idles away the whole day among the chairs of the ladies, and is ever whispering into some one's ear ; who reads little billets-doux from this quarter and that, and writes them in return ; who avoids ruffling his dress by contact with his neighbour's BOOK III.] EPIGRAMS. 161 sleeve ; wHo knows with whom eyerybodj is in love ; who flutters from feast to feast ; who can recount exactly the pe- digree of Hirpinus." ^ What do you tell me ? is this a beau, Cotilus ? Then a beau, Cotilus, is a very trifling thiug. Oh ! Jemmy, you 're a beau ! Not I alone Say this, but 't is the talk of all the town. Prythee be free, and to thy friend impart What is a beau. Ay, sir, with all my heart. He 's one who nicely curls and combs his hair, And visits Sedgwick monthly all the year ; Sings bawdy songs and hums them, as along Flaunting he walks through the admiring throng ; All the day long sits with the charming fair, And whispers pretty stories in their ear ; Writes billets-doux, shuns all men as he goes. Lest their unhallow'd touch should daub his clothes ; He knows your mishap ; nay, at every feast He '11 tell the pedigree of every guest. Is this a beau ? Faith, Jemmy, I '11 be plain, A beau 's a bawble, destitute of brain. Tom Browne. They tell me, Cotilus, that you 're a beau : T^Tiat this is, Cotilus, I wish to know. "A beau is one who, with the nicest care, In parted locks divides his curling hair ; One w^ho with balm and cinnamon smells sweet. Whose humming lips some Spanish air repeat ; Whose naked arms are smooth'd with pumice-stone, And toss'd about with graces all his own : A beau is one who takes his constant seat. From morn to evening, where the ladies meet ; And ever, on some sofa hovering near, Whispers some nothing in some fair one's ear ; Who scribbles thousand billets-doux a day ; Still reads and scribbles, reads, and sends away : A beau is one who shrinks, if nearly press'd By the coarse garment of a neighbour guest ; Who knows who flirts with whom, and still is found At each good table in successive round : A beau is one — none better knows than he A race-horse, and his noble pedigree " — Indeed ? AVhy, Cotilus, if this be so, What teasing trifling thing is call'd a beau ! Elton. ^ The name of a horse famous in the chariot-races. Juvenal, viii. 62. M 162 maetial's lxiy. to cassiakus. The Sirens, those seductive destroyers of mariners with their deceitful blandishments and fatal caresses, whom, once listened to, nobody had before been able to quit, the crafty Ulysses is said to have escaped. Nor do I wonder at it ; but I should have wondered, Cassianus, had he escaped from Canius, ^ when reciting his verses. The seamen's merry ruin, killing joy, The syrens, who with melody destroy, That sly Ulysses had the power to leave, "When all besides, with charms, they did deceive, I wonder not : but this I should admire, From Canius' fett'ring tongue could he rethe. Anon. 1695. LXY. TO DIADUMEI^TJS. The perfume, which is exhaled by the apple bitten by a young damsel; by the zephyr that passes over the saffron-fields of Corycia ; by the vine, when it flowers white with its first clusters ; by grass just cropped by the sheep ; by the myrtle ; by the Arabian spice-gatherer ; by amber rubbed with the hand ; by the fire pale with eastern frankincense ; by the turf lightly sprinkled with summer showers ; by the chaplet resting loosely on locks dripping with nard : all this fra- grance, cruel Diadumenus, is combined in your kisses. What would it not be, were you to grant them without grudging ? As apples smell bitt by a young girle's tooth. Or M'inde past o'er a field of saffron doth ; As flow'ry vines when their first budds forth peepe, Or fragrant grass new cropt by tender sheepe ; As myrtle or the Arabian mowers scent ; Chaft gums, or fumes which spices burnt present : As furroAvs gently sprinkled with heat showers. As locks oyled Avith nard and crown' d with flowers : So smell thy half-lipp'd kisses, cruell fayre ; If freely giv'n how sweeter much they were ! Old 3IS. 16th Cent. LXTI. ON- MAEK ANTONY AND POTHINUS. Antony was guilty of a crime similar to that committed by Pothinus ; either sword cut off a sacred head. The one, thy 1 See B. I. Ep. 70. BOOK III.] EPIGEAMS. 163 head, Eome, when thou wast celebrating with joj laurelled triumphs ; the other, when thou wast displaying thy elo- quence. Tet the case of Antony is worse than that of Pothinus ; Pothinus did the deed for his master, Antony for himself.^ Alike great Pompey and sage Tully bled ; Sever'd alike each venerable head ; Rome on that head her laurell'd triumphs saw ; Heard her free voice from this enforce her law. You, Antony, Pothinus have outdone ; His was his master's crime ; but yours your own. Hay. LXYII. TO SOME LAZY SAILORS. Tou are loitering, sailors, and know nothing of your busi- ness, more sluggish than Yaternus and Easina ; ^ through whose sleepy waters while you take your way, you just dip your idle oars to measured time. Already Phaeton is de- scending, and ^Ethon ^ is perspiring ; the day has reached its greatest heat, and noon unyokes the tired horses of the hus- bandman. But you, floating negligently on the unrippled waters, enjoy your leisure in a safe bark. Tou are not sailors, 1 consider, but Argonauts.'* Why, my lads, more sluggish go, Than Vetrenus or the Po ? Think ye thro' their still ye steer. Drawling oars, to wait the cheer ? Phaeton begins to fire : ^thon, lo ! in full perspire. Now the noontide hour proceeds To repose the panting steeds. Ye, serene upon the wave, Sun, and wind, and water brave. No mere navigators now, Ye are Argonauts, I vow. Elphinston. LXTIIT. TO THE MODEST MATEOIf. Thus far this book is written entirely for you, chaste ma- 1 Mark Antony put Cicero to death to gratify his own revenge ; Pothinus persuaded Ptolemy to have Pompey put to death for the benefit of Caesar, 2 Small rivers in Gallia Togata, where Martial was residing. 3 One of the sun's horses. * An untranslatable pun on the word Argonauts, which Martial fan- cifully compounds of the Greek words apyog, "slow," and vaurijg, "a sailor." u 2 164 Martial's trou. Do you ask for whom the sequel is written ? For my- self. The gymnasium, the warm baths, the race-course, are here ; you must retire. We lay aside our garments ; spare yourself the sight of us in that state. Here at last, after her wine and crocus of roses, Terpsichore is intoxicated, and, laying aside all restraint, knows not what she says. She names no longer in doubtful guise, but openly, that deity ^ whom triumphant Yenus welcomes to her temple in the sixth month of the year ; whom the bailiff stations as protector in the midst of his garden, and at whom all modest maidens gaze with hand before the face. If I know you well, you were laying down the long book from weariness ; now you will read diligently to the end. To thee, grave matron, hitherto my book I write. Towards whom, dost ask, the rest doth look ? Myself, the race, the baths ; retire thou then, We strip, forbear to look on naked men. Well-soaked, Terpsichore weighs not what she says ; Niceness 'mong cups and roses down she lays ; And though, without disguise, she plainly names, ') In broadest terms, what yearly Roman dames > To Venus offer, cares not who her blames ; ) 'T is that, I mean, our hinds in gardens place, And maids peep at, with hands before their face. If now I know thee, though my book before Tired thee, thou 'It eager be to read it o'er. Anon. 1695. LXIX. TO COSCOFIUS. Inasmuch as you write all your epigrams in chaste words, and ribaldry is nowhere to be found in your verses, I admire you, I praise you ; no human being is more pure than your- self. But no page of mine is without freedoms of language. Mine, then, let sportive youths, easy damsels, and the old man who is tortured by his mistress, read. But your respect- able and immaculate writings, Cosconius, must be read only by children and virgins. That all thy epigrams thou dost indite In cleanest terms, nor one broad word dost write, I praise, admire ; how chaste alone thou art ! Such crimes my pages show in every part ; ^ Priapus. BOOK III.] EPIGRAMS. 165 The which the waggish youth and maids approve, The older, too, who feel the sting of love. But yet, I must confess, thy holy verse Deserves much more with children to converse. Anon. 1695. LXX. TO SC^VIKUS. Tou, Scsevinus, who were recently the husband of Aufidia, are now her gallant ; while he who was your rival is now her husband. "Why should you take pleasure in her, as the wife of your neighbour, who, as your own wife, gave you no plea- sure ? Is it that obstacles alone inspire you with ardour ? Aufidia's now gallant, who wast her lord ! Her lord thy rival, once again abhorr'd ! Why like another's, nor thine own endure ? Canst feel no fervour, where thou art secure ? JElphinston. LXXI. TO NJEYOLTJS. Tour slave, INTaevolus, is suffering from a disgraceful dis- ease ; yourself, from one analogous to it. I am no sorcerer, but I know what you are about. LXXII. TO SATjrEIA. Vis futui, nee vis mecum, Saufeia, lavari : Nescio quod magnum suspicor esse nefas. Aut tibi pannosse dependent pectore mammae, Aut sulcos uteri prodere nuda times ; Aut infinito lacerum patet inguen hiatu, Aut aliquid cunni prominet ore tui. Sed nihil est horum, credo, pulcherrima nuda es. Si verum est, vitium pejus habes ; fatua es. Tu, o Saufella, vuoi essere immembrata, ne vuoi lavarti 'meco. Non so, ma sospetto qualche gran difetto : o che le mamme ti pen- dono rugose dal petto, o che temi di lasciar vedere i solchi del tuo ventre : o che la lacera tua ninfa si vede nella smisurata tua aper- tura : o qualche altra cosa vien fuori dal fesso della tua natura. Ma nulla e di tutto questo, credo che nuda sei bellissima. S'egli e vero, hai un vizio peggiore : sei fatua. Graglia. LXXIII. TO PH(EBTJS. Dermis cum pueris mutuniatis, Et non stat tibi, Phoebe, quod stat illis. 166 maetial's Quid vis me, rogo, Phoe'be, suspicari ? MoUem credere te virum volebam, Sed rumor negat esse te cinsedum, Tu dormi con giovani membruti, e non ti sta, o Febo, quel che sta a loro. Che vuoi, dimmi, o Febo, ch' io ne sospetti ? volevo crederti un cinedo : ma quel che si dice non e che sti un cinedo. Gj'aglia. LXXIY. TO GAU&ILIAll^US. "With the psilothrum ^ you make sleek your face, with the dropax ^ your bald head. Are you afraid of the barber, Gar- gilianus ? How will your nails fare ? ^ — for certainly you can- not pare them by means of resin or Venetian clay.^ Cease, if you have any modesty left, to disgrace your miserable head, Gargilianus : leave such things for the other sex. One lotion smugs thy face, and one thy crown. Dost dread the rasor, or dost hope renown ? How treat thy talons ? Them corrode away Nor can fell rosin, nor Venetian clay. Cease then, and blush t' expose thy barren scull : One daubs but where one may nor shave nor cull. Elphinston. LXXV. TO LTJPEECIJS. Stare, Luperce, tibi jam pridem mentula desJt: Luctaris demens tu tamen arrigere. Sed nihil erucse faciunt bulbique salaces, Improba nee prosunt jam satureia tibi. Coepisti puras opibus corrumpere buccas ; Sic quoque non vivit sollicitata Venus. Mirari satis hoc quisquam vel credere possit. Quod non stat, magno stare, Luperce, tibi ? Gia da lungo tempo, o Luperco, il tuo membro cessa stare, tutta- via tu arrabiato ti sforzi arrigere. Ma nulla fanno le rughe, e gli incitevoli bolbi, ne tampoco ti giova la oltre modo lasciva satureia. Tentasti corrompere con ricchezze le innocent! bocche. Venere soUecitata cosi non ha vigore. Nessuno c'e che possa cio bastante- mente ammirare o credere, che cio che non ti consta, tanto, o Luperco, ti costi. Graglia. Scallions and lose rochets nought prevail, And heightening meats in operation fail ; ^ Names of unguents. ^ The Roman barbers used to pare *he nails. 3 Materials of which unguents for the face and head were made. 1 BOOK III.] EPIGEAMS. 167 Thy wealth begins the pure cheeks to defile, So venery provok'd lives but a while : Who can admire enough, the wonder 's such, That thy not standing stands thee in so much ? Fletcher. LXXVI. TO BASSTJS. You are all on fire for old women, Bassus, and look with contempt on young ones ; and it is not a handsome lady that charms you, but one just on the brink of the tomb. Is not this, I ask, madness ? is not your desire insane ? To love a Hecuba, and disdain an Andromache ! LXXVIT. TO B^TICTJS. Neither mullet, Baeticus, nor turtle-dove delights you; nor is hare ever acceptable to you, or wild boar. Nor do sweet- meats please you, or slices of cake ; nor for you does Libya or Phasis send its birds. You devour capers and onions swimming in disgusting sauce, and the soft part of a gam- mon of bacon, whose freshness is disputable ; and pilchards and tunny, whose flesh is turning white : you drink wines which taste of the resin seal, and abhor Falernian. I sus- pect that there must be some other more secret vice in your stomach : for why, Baeticus, do you eat disgusting meats ? ^ Nor mullet delights thee, nice Betic, nor thrush ; The hare with the scut, nor the boar with the tush ; No sweet cakes or tablets : thy taste so absurd. Nor Libya need send thee, nor Phasis, a bird. But capers, and onions, besoaking in brine, And brawn of a gammon scarce doubtful, are thine. Of garbage, or flitch of hoar tunny, thou 'rt vain : The rosin 's thy joy, the Falernian thy bane. I dread thy poor stomach hints some dark abuse : Else why, Betic, relish alone the refuse ? Elphinston. LXXYIII. TO PAULINUS, ON BOARD SHIP. You have emptied your vessel once, Paulinus, while the ship was going at full speed. Do you wish again to repeat the act ? You will be a Palinurus,^ if you do. As the keel flew, Paulinus swell'd the sea. Would he once more ? He 'd Palinurus be. Elphinston. ^ He insinuates that Baeticus is guihy of that with which he charges him inEp. 81. 2 A play upon the word, as if compounded of irdXiv, *' agam," and ovpelv, urinam reddere. 168 maetial's LXXIX. Olf SEKTOEIUS. Eeni peragit nullam Sertorius, mchoat omnes, Hunc ego, cum futuit, non puto perficere. Sertorio intraprende ogni cosa, e nessuna ne termina. lo credo che costui quando immembra nemmen compisca. Graylia. LXXX. TO APICITJS. Tou complain of no one, Apicius ; you slander no one ; and yet rumour says you have an evil tongue. Apicius ne'er complaynes, does no man wrong ; Yet the voyce goes, he has a filthy tongue. Fletcher. LXXXI. TO B^TICTJS. Quid cum femineo tibi, Bsetice Gralle, barathro ? Hsec debet medios lambere lingua viros. Abscissa est quare Samia tibi mentula testa. Si tibi tarn gratus, Baetice, cunnus erat ? Castrandum caput est : nam sis licet inguine Grallus, Sacra tamen Cybeles decipis : ore vir es. Che afFari hai tu, o Betico Gallo, col femineo baratro ? Questa tua lingua e fatta per lambire a mezzo gli uomini. A che motivo la mentola fu a te con Samia tegola recisa, se a te, o Betico, si grato era il c ? II tuo capo merita esser castrato : imperoche, quantunque sii Gallo nelle pudenda, tuttavia inganni i sacrifici di Cibele : sei uonio nella bocca. Graglia. LXXXII. TO RTJriTS. He who would consent to be the guest of Zoilus, would not hesitate to sup with the strumpets of the Summoenium,^ and drink, without a blush, from the broken pitcher of Leda.^ This, I contend, would be both easier and more decent. Clothed in an effeminate kind of robe, he lies upon a couch which he whoEy covers, and, propped up on purple and silk cushions, thrusts aside his guests with his elbows on this side and that. At hand stands a minion, who hands to his master, ready to vomit, red feathers and toothpicks of lentisc wood; while, if he is oppressed by the heat, a concubine, reclining by his side, wafts upon him a pleasant coolness with a green fan ; and a young slave scares away the flies with ^ A part of the city near the -walls, as its name signifies. - A courtesan. See B. i. Ep. 93 ; B. iv. Ep. 4. 3 The feathers of the phoenicopterus, used to provoke vomiting. BOOK III.] EPIGRAMS. 169 a rod of myrtle. A softener,^ with nimble art, strokes his whole body, and passes her skilled hand over all his limbs. The signal of snapping his fingers is watched by an eunuch, who presents him with the vessel which his copious draughts render indispensable. Meanwhile Zoilus himself, leaning backwards to the crowd at his feet, among the pup- pies who are licking up the giblets of geese, divides among his athletes the neck of a wild-boar, or bestows upon his fa- vourite the thigh of a turtle-dove ; and while to us is offered wine from Ligurian rocks, or such as has been ripened in the smoke of Marseilles, he hands to his creatures Opimian nectar in crystalline and myrrhine vases ; and, while he himself is drenched with essences from the stores of Cosmus, he is not asham.ed to divide amongst us in a little gilt shell, un- guents such as only the lowest women use. Einally, over- come by many draughts from his large cups, he falls snoring asleep. We sit at the table, and, ordered to keep silence while he is grunting, drink each other's healths by signs. Such is the insolence which we have to endure from this presum- ing Malchion ; nor do we ask to be avenged, Eufus. He has an evil tongue." Whoe'er with a Zoilus' treat can put up, As well at a prostitute's table may sup ; And e'en, while yet sober, were far better off From Leda's lame porringer humbly to quaff. Behold him betrick'd on the couch he has seized, On either side elb'wing that he may be eased ; Supported on purple, and pillows of silk ; The catamite standing, that nothing may bilk. To Zoilus squeamish his minister lends The ruddy provokers, and lentisk extends : And now in a swim while he 's stewing, poor man ! A lolloping concubine flaps the green fan. As thus she restores him to regions of light, A minion with myrtle puts insects to flight. Meantime the bold stroker his person must skim, And ply her arch palm o'er his each lazy limb. 1 Tractatrix. The Romans carried their luxury and effeminacy at this time to such an extent as to have their limbs rubbed by the hands of young slaves as they reclined at table. To this practice the expression in the text refers, which we have ventured to render " a softener." 2 Fellat. 170 maetial's The fingers, now snapp'd, give the eunuch the sign, My lord has a mind to alembic his wine. The latter unwearied persisting the filler, The dextrous emasculate guides the distiller. The treater converts, the repast to complete, His thoughts and his eyes on the crew at his feet 5 He duly reflects what to servants he owes, And so to the dogs the goose-giblets he throws. The kernels, and other nice bits of the boar, He portions to those who have toil'd on his floor : And, sleek to plump up his most favourite widgeon, He deals the plump thighs of his best potted pigeon. To us while the rocks of Liguria present, Or fumes of Massilia, their must and their tent ; The nectar Opimian he gives to refine, ^ In crystals and mjTrhines, for zanies the wine ! Himself made essential from Cosmus' first fiasks, His guests to accept a few droplings he asks, From out his gold shell scarce sufiicing to shed The unguent upon an adulteress' head. O'erpower'd with deep goblets, sweet Zoil besnores : And, though we recline, none the musick deplores. We smile, or we sweat, or we swill, now by nods ; Nor can we revenge — such a feast of the gods ! Elphinston. LXXXIII. TO COEDTJS. You bid me write shorter epigrams, Cordus. Act me now the part of Chione. I could not say anything shorter.^ LXXXIY. TO TOXGILTOIN". ' What savs your trollop, Tongilion ? I do not mean your trull ?— " AYhat then ? "—Your tongue. What does thv strumpet say, Tongilion ? I do not mean thy wench. "What then ? " — Thy tongue. Fletcher. LXXXV. TO A JEALOUS HUSBAI^D. Who persuaded you to, cut off the nose of your wife's gallant ? Wretched husband, that was not the part which outraged you. Fool, w^hat have you done ? Your wife has ^ I express myself as briefly as possible, by comparing you to Chione See Eps. 87 and 97. ;800K III.] EPIGRAMS. 171 lost nothing by the operation, since that which pleased her in your friend Deiphobus is still safe. Offended lord, what could thee discompose, So cruelly to lop th' offender's nose ? That suff'ring limb, as thine, was innocent: Nor feels the paramour the punishment. Ne'er canst thou hope t' extinguish either fire, While the incendiary remains enthe. Elphmston. LXXXYI. TO THE CHASTE MATEOI^. I forewarned and admonished you, chaste matron, not to read this part of my sportive book : and yet, you see, you continue to read. But if, chaste as you are, you go to see the acting of Panniculus and Latinus, read on ; these verses are not more shameless than the pantomimes. I warn'd you, madam, not to read : But I foretold, and you proceed. If you indulge to see some plays. You safely may peruse my lays. JSIpIiinston. LXXXTII. TO CHIOI^E. Eumour says, Chione, that you have never had to do with man, and that nothing can be purer than yourself. And yet when you bathe, you veil not that part which you should veil. If you have any modesty, veil your face. LXXXYIII. OTT TWO BEOTHEES. Sunt gemini fratres, diversa sed inguina lingunt. Dicite, dissimiles sint magis, an similes ? Vi sono due fratelU somigliantissimi, ma lambiscono contrarie pudenda. Dite se sieno piii dissimili, o simili ? Graglia. LXXXIX. TO PHOEBUS. Use lettuces, Phoebus, use aperient mallows ; for you have a face like one suifering from constipation. Use lettuce limp, emollient mallows gain : Thy sturdy stare bespeaks a stubborn strain. Elfhinston. XC. OK GALEA. Galla will, and will not, comply with my wishes ; and I cannot tell, with her willing and not willing, what she wills. 172 maetia^l's My Galla will and will not buss ; My fancy never could, By willing and not willing thus, Suppose what Galla would. Fletcher. XCI. ON A TETEEAN SOLDIEE.^ When a dismissed veteran, a native of Ravenna, was return- ing home, he joined on the w^ay a troop of the emasculated priests of Cybele. There was in close attendance upon him a runaway slave named Achillas, a youth remarkable for his handsome looks and saucy manner. This was noticed by the effete troop ; and they inquired what part of the couch he occupied. The youth understood their secret intentions, and gave them false information; they believed him. After drinking sufficiently, each retired to his couch ; when forth- with the malicious crew seized their knives, and mutilated the old man, as he lay on one side of the couch ; while the youth was safe in the protection of the inner recess. It is said that a stag was once substituted for a virgin ; but in this case something of a different nature was substituted for AVhen old Misitius sought his native land, Chance bid him join a sly Cybelian band. Achillas, from his lord a slipp'ry stray. Adhered the partner of Misitius' way. Him eye the half-men ; and their art employ, To learn the lair that hopes the beauteous boy. Suspecting well their aim to catch such elves, And render them enervate as themselves. Their industry industrious to deride. The pricket points the bed ; but not the side. They quaff their wine, and now the slumbers please. The slumbers o'er, the noxious steel they seize. Misitius they unman, who next them lay ; Safe on the inner beam, and snug, the stray. Once, for a vhgin, bled a wond'rous bind : Now, for a deer, a dotard was consign'd. Elphinston. XCII. TO GALLTJS. My wife, G-allus, asks me to allow her one sweetheart, — only one. Shall I not, Gallus, put out his two eyes ? ^ ^ In most copies, the first Une of this epigi'am is, Cum peteret patrice Misitius arva Ravennce. Schneidewin reads missicius. 2 Pro cervo. Fugitive slaves are said to have been jestingly called cervi, "stags " or " deer." 3 Ludit in verbo ; per oculos vult testes. I BOOK III.] EPIGEAMS. 173 Allow me one gallant, my consort cries. I shall not, Gallus, pluck out both his eyes. Elphinston. XCIII. TO YETTJSTTLLA. Though you have seen three hundred consuls, Vetustilla, and have but three hairs, and four teeth, with the chest of a grasshopper, and the legs of an ant ; though your forehead shows more folds than a matron's dress, and your bosom resembles a spider's web ; though in comparison with your vast jaws the mouth of crocodile of the JSTile is small ; though the frogs at E-avenna chatter more melodiously than you, and the gnat of Atria sings more sweetly ; though your eyesight is no better than the owl's in the morning, and your body exhales the odour of the husband of the she-goat ; though your loins are those of a lean duck, and your legs shrunk like those of a withered old Cynic ; though the bath- keeper does not admit you into the bath till he has ex- tinguished his light, and then onl}^ among the prostitutes that lodge in the tombs ; though it is winter with you even in the month of August, and not even a pestilent fever can unfreeze you, you nevertheless dare to think of marriage after two hundred years of widowhood, and insanely expect somebody to fall in love with relics like yours. Who, I ask, even if he were willing to till a rock, would call you wife ? — you whom Philomelus but recently called grand- mother. But if you will have your corpse meddled with, let Coris the grave-digger prepare you a couch, such as alone befits your nuptial rites, and let the kindler of the funeral pile bear the marriage torches for the new bride. Such a torch is the only one that Hymen can offer you. Alert Antiquilla, on thee Kind consuls three hundred have smiled : What beauties remain, let us see. Of one but so lately a child. Three hairs, and four teeth, are the dwindle Fell Chronus allows thy command : Thy grasshopper-breast on a spindle As fine as an antling's can stand. Thy forehead more furrows has made, Than any high dame in her stole : Thy panters, unpropt, are decay'd To nets of Arachne's control. 174 MAETIAL'g Think not that I search for thy flaws ; Too mean a pursuit to be mine ! But narrow the crocodile's jaws, Compared, Antiquilla, with thine. Ravenna's brisk froghngs becroke Less hoarse, my gruff crony, than thou ; And Adria's high hornets invoke A hum thou canst hardly avow. Thine eyes are as clear as thy notes : Thou seest as the owl in the morn. Thou smell'st like the lord of the goats : Compare of each kind is thy scorn. But now, to descend to the stump : What gives an old cynic to rage, Emaciate duck, is thy rump ; And bony the war he must w^age. The bather will blow out his lamp, To thee ere he open his doors ; Then, careless of age, or of stamp, Admit all the bustuary whores. Bland August thy winter we know : Insatiate must still be thy maw ? Ah ! how can poor Hymen e'er glow, "Where pestilence' self cannot thaw ? Thou only two hundred hast slain, And would'st the third century wed : Would'st have a man, madding in vain, Attend thy cold ashes to bed ? Yet, wish'd he to harrow a stone, Who 'd honour such mate as a wife ? Whom call'd Philomelus a crone, Who 'd e'er call the love of his life ? But, scraped if thy carcase must be, Coricles the clinic shall strow The couch : he alone can agree With thy hymenean to go. The burner the torches shall bear, Before the desirable bride : A torch can alone enter there ; Where Pluto himself will preside. Elphinston. xciv. TO ETjrtrs. You say tKe hare is not sufficiently cooked, and call for a BOOK III.] EPIGRAMS, 175 whip. You would rather cut up your cook, E-ufus, than your hare. The hare not done ! you storm ; and fly to flog : Rather than cut the hare, you '11 cut the dog. Mphinston. XCV. TO F^VOLUS. You never say, "Good day !" first, Naevolus : but content yourself with returning the salute, though even the crow is often in the habit of saying it first. "Why do you expect this from me, Nsevolus ? I pray you, tell me. For I consider, Naevolus, you are neither better than I am, nor have pre- cedence of me in the eyes of the world. Both Caesars have bestowed upon me praise and rewards, and have given me the rights of a father of three children. I am read by many ; and fame has given me a name known throughout the cities of the earth, without waiting for my death. There is some- thing, too, in this, that Eome has seen me a tribune, and that I sit in those seats whence Oceanus ^ excludes you. I sus- pect that your servants are not even as numerous as the E/oman citizens that Caesar has made at my request. But you are a debauchee, JSTsevolus, and play your part excel- lently in that capacity. Yes, now you take precedence of me, Naevolus ; you have decidedly the advantage. Grood day to you. Naevolus ne'er salutes first, but replies, Which the taught crow himself seldom denies. Why dost expect this from me, Naevolus ? Since thou art not more great nor good than us ? Both Csesars have rewarded my due praise, And me to th' priv'lege of three sons did raise. I 'm read by every mouth, known thi'ough the town, And before death receive my quick renown. And this is worth your note, 1 'm tribune too, And sit where that Oceanus caps you ; How many by great Caesar's grant are made Free denizens because by me 'twas pray'd ? The number far exceeds thy family : But thou shock'st nature, Naevolus, feed'st high : Now, now thou over-com'st me sheere ; thus, thus, Thou art my better. Salve, Nsevolus. Fletcher ^ * The officer who had the charge of the seats appropriated to the knights in the theatre, and who saw that no improper persons occupied them. He is mentioned B. vi. Ep. 9, and elsewhere. 176 martial' s XCVI. TO GARaiLITJS. Lingis, non futuis meam paellam ; Et garris quasi moechus, et fututor. Si te prendero, Grargili, tacebis. Tu lingi, non immembri la mia ragazza : e ti milanti qual drudo e qual' immembratore. Se t'accliiappo, o Gargilio, tacerai. Graglia. XCYII. TO RTTEUS. I advise you, E-ufus, not to let Chione read tbis little book of mine. Sbe is burt by my verses : and sbe may burt me in return. Let not Snow, my dear friend, chill this bundle of spirt. If she thaw by my fire, in her turn she may hurt. Elphinston. XCVIII. TO SABELLIIS. Sit tibi cuius quam macer requiris ? PsDdicare potes, Sabelle, culo. • Vuoi tu sapere quanto '1 tuo orripigio sia magro ? tu puoi, o Sa- bello, sodomizar con quello. Graglia. XCIX. TO THE COBBLEE. Tou ought not, cobbler, to be angry with my book ; your trade, and not your life, is satirized in my writings. Allow me innocent pleasantries. Why should I not have the right of amusing myself, if you have had that of getting throats cut ? 1 "Why art offended, Cerdo, with my book ? Thy life, and not thy person, 's by me strook. Then suffer harmless wit ; why is 't not due For me to sport, when stabbing 's free to you ? Fletcher. C. TO RTJEUS. It was twelve o'clock, Eufus, when I sent the messenger to you, and, I suppose, he must have been wet through when he handed you my verses. Eor it happened that the sky was pouring down floods of rain. This was exactly the weather in which it was proper for the book to be sent.^ 1 See Eps. 16 and 59. 2 As it deserved to be corrected with water and a si)onge ; see B. ir. Ep. lU. n BOOK IV.] EPIGRAMS. ]77 I hied tliee, my Rufus, a runner at six, Who, soak'd to the skin, would my glories present; While heav'n deign'd her torrents most copious to mix : No other so proper way could they be sent. Elj9hinsto?i. BOOK IV. I., ON THE EMPEEOR DOMITIAN S BIETH-DAT. O AUSPICIOUS birth-daj of Csesar, ^ more sacred than that on which the conscious Ida witnessed the birth of Dic- taean Jupiter, come, I pray, and prolong thy duration beyond the age of Pylian Nestor, and shine ever with thy present aspect or with increased brilliancy. Let Csesar, decked with abundance of gold, sacrifice to Minerva on the Alban mount, and let many an oak-garland pass through his im- perial hands. Let him welcome the approaching secular games with magnificent sacrifices, and celebrate the solem- nities due to !Romulean Tarentus.^ We ask indeed great things, ye gods, but such as are due to earth ; since for so great a god as Caesar what prayers can be extravagant ? Caesar's bright birth-day 's to be honour'd more Than Jove's, on Ida's top by E-hea bore. May Rome this day's return more often see, Than, aged Nestor, thine was seen by thee, And, than the present, still more glorious be. May he on earth (his head adorn'd with gold) Keep Pallas' feast ; as president behold The poet's and the rhetor's strife, and crown With 's mighty hand the highest in renown. May he the secular games, none twice e'er saw, Behold ; be privileged beyond nature's law. Great things I ask, but which from heaven are due; For such a prince too much we cannot sue. Anon. 1695. ' Domitian was born on the 24th of October. 2 Tarentus was a place near the Campus Martins, where an altar of Pluto and Proserpine was buried in the ground, and was disinterred only at the time of the Secular Games. 178 maetial's ii. o^ horatius. Horatius, a little while ago, was the only one, among all the spectators of the games, who appeared in black clothes, when the plebeians, the knights, and the senate, with their sa- cred chief, were sitting in white array. Suddenly snow fell in great abundance; and Horatius became a spectator in white. ^ Horace, mid the jovial crew, Saw the show in sable hue. Third, and next, and first estate, With the chief all candid sate. Sudden burst the flaky snow : Horace saw, in white, the show. JElphinston. III. O^ THE SNOW WHICH TELL ON DOMITIAN AT THE GAMES. See how thick a fleece of silent congealed water flows down upon the face and robes of Caesar. Still he pardons Jupiter for sending it, and, with head unmoved, smiles at the waters condensed by the sluggish cold, being accustomed to brave the constellation of the Northern Bootes, and to disregard the G-reat Bear drenching his locks. ^ Who can be sporting with the dried waters and gambolling in the sky ? I suspect this snow came from Caesar's little son.^ See the fleece of silent wave Play on Caesar's face and vest ! See him smile, as bland as brave, At the slow-congealing jest. Once he could Bootes tire, Helice might soak his hair. Who thus dry upon the fire ? It must be the ravish'd heir. Elphinston. TV. TO BASSA. Of the odour of a lake whence the water has retired ; of the miasmata which rise from the sulphureous waters of Al- ^ It was usual originally for all the spectators to appear in white at the games (see B. xiv. Ep. 137), but this custom had begun to be neglected in the time of Domitian. Some of the commentators suppose Martial to intimate that the gods sent the snow to show their displeasure at the black dress of Horatius. 2 An allusion to Domitian's expedition into Germany. 3 Domitian's son by his wife Domitia, who died when he was very young. BOOK lY.] EPIGRAMS. 179 bula ; of the putrid stench of a marine fish-pond ; of a lazy- goat in amorous dalliance ; of the old shoes of a tired ve- teran ; of a fleece twice drenched in Tyrian dye ; ^ of the fasting breath of the Jews ; of that of wretches under ac- cusation ; of the expiring lamp of the filthy Leda ; of oint- ment made of the dregs of Sabnie oil ; of a fox in flight, or of the nest of the viper, — of all these things, Bassa, I would rather smell than smell like you. Of a drying ditch, the pool ; Crudest cloud, when min'rals cool ; Of a stagnant pond, the gale ; Of a goat, when spirits fail ; "Weary vet'ran's frowsy vest ; Fleece in purple twice bedress'd ; Flavor of the fasting Jew ; Panting of the culprit crew ; Lewdest Leda's dying lamp ; Unguent of the Sabine vamp ; Fox's flight, and viper's cell ; — ■ Bassa, thou might'st better smell. Elphinston. Y. TO PABIAISTS. What do you, Fabianus, an honest and poor man, sincere in speech and in heart, expect from visiting the City ? You can neither be a pander nor a parasite, nor, with your monotonous voice, a crier, to call up persons trembling under accusation : nor can you corrupt the wife of your dear friend, nor feel any desire after frozen old women, nor sell empty smoke about the palace ; ^ nor award praise to Canus, or to Glaphyrus.^ How then, unhappy man, will you live ? " I am a trustworthy person, a faithful friend." That is nothing at all : it would never make you a Philomelus. Honest and poor, faithful in word and thought, What hath thee, Fabian, to the city brought ? Thou neither the buffoon nor bawd canst play ; Nor with false whispers th' innocent betray ; Nor corrupt wives ; nor from rich beldams get A living by thy industry and sweat ; ^ That there was an unpleasant smell from the Tyrian dye appears from B. i. Ep. 50, Olidceque vestes murice. 2 Pretend to sell favours of the emperor. ' Names of musicians. Philomelus was also a musician, and ex- tremely rich : B. iii. Ep. 31. N 2 180 maetial's Nor with vain promises and projects cheat ; Nor bribe nor flatter any of the great. But you 're a man of learning, prudent, just ; A man of courage, firm, and fit for trust. Why, you may stay, and live unenvied here ; But (faith) go back, and keep you where you were. Cotcley. YI. TO MALISTANirS. Tou wish to be thought, Malisianus, as chaste as a mo- dest virgin, and as innocent as a child, although you are more abandoned than he who recites in the house of Stella* poems composed in the metre of TibuUus. Malisian, haste, and tell me how You can unbend the modest brow Of chastest maid, or sweetest child That ever blandly blush'd or smiled ? When all the while you conscious are Of sentiments corrupter far Than he, who wakes a Stella 's ire By waking a Tibullus' lyre. Elphinston. VII. TO HTLLTJS. "Why do you refuse, youthful Hyllus, to-day, whac you freely gave yesterday ? Why are you so suddenly become cruel, who but now were so kind ? Tou now excuse yourself on account of your beard, and your age, and your hairy limbs. O night, how long hast thou been, that hast made a youth into an old man ! Why do you mock me, Hyllus ? Tou were yesterday a boy ; tell me, how are you to-day a man ? Why, how now, Hyllus, child, To yield make such a sputter ! Who wast before so mild, Nor ventur'dst once to mutter ? Thy beard, thy bristles, years. Thou scruplest not attesting : How long one night appears. That shoots a sage clandestine ! But yesterday a boy. Why brave us with thy treason ? To-day thy pow'rs employ, To prove the man of reason. Eljihinston. 1 Stella the poet, mentioned B. i, Ep. 8, and elsewhere. Tibullus is said to have written some Priapeia in iambic metre. BOOK lY.] EPIGRAMS. 181 YIII. TO ETJPHEMIJS. The first and second hours of the day ^ exhaust the clients who pay their respects to their patrons ; the third exercises the lungs of the noisy pleaders ; until the fifth Eome employs herself in various occupations ; the sixth brings rest to the fatigued; the seventh closes the day's labours. The eighth suffices for the games of the oily palaestra ; the ninth bids us press the piled-up couches at table. The tenth is the hour for my effusions, Euphemus, when your skill is preparing ambrosial delicacies, and our excellent Caesar relaxes his cares with celestial nectar, and holds the little cups in his powerful hand. At that time give my pleasantries access to him ; my muse with her free step fears to approach Jupiter in the morning. The two first hours o' th' great consumed are ; The third in lawyers' pleadings at the bar ; The trades of Rome the fourth and fifth employ, The sixth some rest, the seventh all rest enjoy : From eight to nine in exercise is spent, The ninth on feasting all men are. intent : The tenth hour 's proper for my book and me. And, Euphem, thou who dost the board o'ersee, And order our great lord's ambrosial fare, When nectar has dissolved his public care, His mighty hand the sober cup does hold, To introduce my mirth, thou may'st be bold. My muse forbears licentiously to rove r th' morn, when serious, to importune Jove. Anon. 1695. IX. TO PABTJLLA, Eabulla, daughter of surgeon Sota, you desert your hus- band to follow Clitus, and give him both presents and love. You act like a sot.^ Of doctor Health thou wayward child, For Vainlove hast thy lord beguiled. While thus thou send'st thy smiles astray. Nor Health directs, nor Hope the way. EJphinston. X. TO EATJSTINUS. AVhile my book is yet new and unpolished,^ while the page . ' Reckoning from our six in the morning. 2 An attempt to imitate the pun in 'ix^iQ dvwTojg without which tliere is no point to the English reader. 3 Crassu frotite. Not yet smoothed with the pumice-stone. 182 maetial's scarcely dry fears to be touched, go, boy, and bear the littlt present to a dear friend, who deserves beyond all others to have the first sight of my trifles. !Run, but not without being duly equipped ; let a Carthaginian sponge accompany the book ; for it is a suitable addition to my present. Many erasures, Taustinus, would not remove all its faults; one sponging would. "V^Tiiles that my book is new and rough, and feares To have its undryed page took by the ears, Goe, boy, present this small gift to my friend, He that deserves my toys at the first end : Run, but yet let the sponge accompanie The book, for it becomes each gift from mee. Faustinus, 't is not many blots, we say, Can mend my merry flashes, one blot may. Fletcher. XI. TO SATURIflXTJS. "While, pufi'ed up beyond measure by an empty name, you. were entranced with delight, and were ashamed, unfortunate man, of being merely Saturninus,^ you stirred up war under the Parrhasian Bear, like he who bore arms for his Egyptian consort. Had you so entirely forgotten the ill-fortune of that name, which the fierce rage of the sea at Actium over- whelmed ? Or did the Rhine promise you Avhat the Nile denied to him, and were the northern waters likely to be more propitious ? Even Antony fell by our arms, who, compared with you, traitor, was a Csesar. A^Tiile thou wert proud to bear Antonius' name, And that of Saturninus didst disclaim ; Thou arms in Germany 'gainst Csesar bore, As Antony in Egypt did before. '\Vhat Fate attends that name didst thou not fear ? Of his disgrace at Actium never hear? Or did the Rhine promise success to thee, Tho' Nile to him deny'd the victory ? That famous Antony by Rome's sword did fall ; Compared to thee, whom Caesar we might call. Anon. 1695. XII. TO THAIS. Tou deny no one, Thais ; but, if you are not ashamed of denying no one, at least be ashamed of denying nothing, Thais. 1 Saturninus was a Roman general, who, having taken offence at some remarks of Doniilian, excited an insurrection in Germany. Martial taimts him with wishing to become a second Antony. BOOK IT.] EPIGEAMS. 183 Thais denyes no man : If no shame thence spring, Yet let this shame thee, to deny no-thing. Fletchei'. XIII. TO EUFTJS, OS A HAPPY MAEEIAGE. Claudia Peregrina,Euf US, is about to be married to my friend Pudens. Be propitious. Hymen, with thy torches. As fitly is precious cinnamon united with nard, and Massic wine with Attic honey. Nor are elms more fitly wedded to tender vines, the lotus more love the waters, or the myrtle the river's bank. Mayest thou always hover over their couch, fair Concord, and may Venus ever be auspicious to a couple so well matched. In after years may the wife cherish her husband in his old age ; and may she, when grown old, not seem so to her husband. Strange, Claudia 's married to a friend of mine. O Hymen, be thou ready with thy pine ! Thus the rare cinnamons with the spicknard joyne, And the Thesean sweets with Massick wine. Nor better doe the elm and vine embrace. Nor the lote-tree affect the fenny place. Nor yet the mp-tles more Love and desire the shore. Let a perpetual peace sun-ound their bed, And may their loves with equall fire be fed! May she so love him old, that to him shee, Though old indeed, may not seem so to bee. Fletcher. XIY. TO SILIUS ITALICUS. Silius, glory of the Castalian sisters, who exposest, in mighty song, the perjuries of barbaric rage, and compellest the perfidious pride of Hannibal and the faithless Car- thaginians to yield to our great Scipios ; lay aside for a while thy austere gravity, and while December, sporting with attractive games, resounds on every side with the boxes of hazard, and plays at tropa with fraudulent dice,^ accord some indulgence to my muse, and read not with severe but with cheerful countenance my little books, abounding with ^ Some copies have rota ; some po7npu ; some popd. Tropd is a con- jecture of Brodaeus, adopted by Schneidewin. It was a game played by- throwing dice into a hole prepared for the purpose. See Pollux, vii. 103, and Meinecke, Fr. Com. Gr. ii. p. 113. 184 maetial's jocular pleasantries. Just so perhaps miglit ■ the tender Catullus venture to send his sparrow to the great Yirgil.^ O thou, whose strains in loftiest style (O Silius, glory of the Nine !) Tell barbarous warfare's varied wile, Hannibal's ever new design ; And paint the Scipios in the field, Where Carthage false was forced to yield, Awhile your grandeur put away ; December now, with rattling dice Cast from the doubtful box, is gay ; And Popa 2 plied his false device ; 'T is now an easy festive time That well befits my careless rhyme. Then smooth your frowns ; with placid brow Read, pr'ythee, these my trifling lays. My lays where wanton jests o'erflow ; For thus, perchance, his sparrow's praise Catullus, whom sweet strains attend. To mighty Maro dared to send. George Lamb. XV. TO C^CILIANTJS. When you asked me yesterday for the loan of a thousand sesterces, Csecilianus, for six or seven days, I said, " I have not so much." But, on the pretence of a friend's arrival, you now ask me for a dish and some vases. Are you a fool ? Or do you think me a fool, my friend ? I refused you a thousand ; shall I give you five thousand sesterces? Ten pound thou begg'dst to borrow th' other day, Which speedily thou promised to repay. I had it not, as civil I did say. But thou, by a friend's visit much surprised, To borrow of me silver plate devised. Art thou a fool? or me dost one suppose ? When ten I would not, fifty pound I 'd lose ? Anon. 1695. XVI. TO GALLUS. It was rumoured, Gallus, that you were not exactly the step- son of your mother, while she was the wife of your father. This however could not be proved while your father was ^ Catullus flourished before Virgil, hut Martial is purposely guilty of the anachronism, that he may compare Silius Italicus to Virgil, as he com- pares himself to Catullus. 2 'X'jig tavern-keeper. r BOOK IV.] EPIGEAMS. 185 alive. Tour father, G-allus, is now no more ; yet your step- mother still lives in the house with you. Even if the great Cicero could be recalled from the shades below, and Ee- gulus himself were to defend you, you could not be acquitted ; for she who does not cease to be a step-mother after a fa- 1^ ther's death, Grallus, never was a step-mother. That, G alius, thou wast never son-in-law _ To her thy father's consort late we saw. The rumour rose ; but could not hope to thrive, "While he, by whom thou liv'st, was yet alive. Now, where thine awful sire no more is seen. The step-dame revels an unrivall'd queen. For thee should Tully break the Stygian laws, ' And Regulus himself attempt thy cause, Thy cause were lost. Who ceases not to be Thy step-dame, Gallus, ne'er was such to thee. EJphinston. XYII. TO PATJLTJS. Tou request me to write verses against Lycisca, Paulus, of such a nature that she may be angry on reading them. J Paulus, you are unfair ; you wish to get her all to yourself. Why, Paulus, would you have me write On PhilKs, to provoke her spite ? The reason is, as you must own, You 'd have her for yourself alone. Anon. XVIIT. OlSr A YOUTH KILLED BY THE FALL OP A PIECE OF ICE. Just where the gate near the portico of Agrippa is always dripping with water, ^ and the slippery pavement is wet with constant showers, a mass of water, congealed by winter's cold, fell upon the neck of a youth who was entering the damp temple, and, when it had inflicted a cruel death on the un- fortunate boy, the weapon melted in the warm wound it had made. What cruelties does not Portune permit ? Or where ^ is not death to be found, if you, waters, turn cut-throats. 'T was from a spout, which pours into the street, And makes the pavement shppery to the feet, An icicle depending grew, until By its own weight the ponderous ruin fell ; 1 See B. iii. Ep. 47. 186 Struck on the neck a boy upon the ground ; Wounded to death ; then melted in the wound. From cruel fortune can we more endure ? If waters stab, where can we be secure ? Hay. XTX. OlSr A CLOAK. I send you a foreign cloak, the stout workmanship of a Gallic weaver, which, though of a barbarous country, has a Lacedaemonian name;^ a gift of small value, but not to be despised in cold December. "Whether you are rubbing into your skin the clammy wrestler's oil, or playing at tennis to warm you ; whether you are catching the dusty ball with your hand, or sharing with your competitors the featherlike weight of the loose bladder,^ or seeking to surpass the light Athas ^ in the race, this Avill be a defence to you, that the searching cold may not affect your wet limbs, or unpropitious Iris oppress you with sudden rain. Clad in this gift, you will laugh at winds and showers ; nor will you be equally safe in Tyrian silk. The frowsy foster of a female hand, Of name Laconian, from a barb'rous land ; Tho' rude, yet welcome to December's snow : To thee we bid the homely stranger go. Whether in limber liniment thou toil, Or in the Trigonal thy fibres boil ; Whether thy hand the dusty Harpast snatch, Or the Wind-bomb thy flying foot shall catch : Whether the nimble Athas thou 'd'st outrun ; Or dare the bravest feat, that braves the sun : That into glowing limbs no cold may glide, That baleful Iris never drench thy pride ; This fence shall bid thee scorn the winds and showers. The Tyrian lawn pretends no equal powers. Elphinston. XX. TO COLLIKUS, 0^ CJERELLIA AND GELLTA. Cserellia calls herself an old woman, when she is but a girl ; Gellia calls herself a girl, when she is an old woman. Nobody can endure either, Collinus ; the one is ridiculous, the other disgusting. 1 Endromis. 2 A large light ball, wliich appears to have been thrown or knocked about with the hand or fist. 3 A boy famous for his swiftness. Pliny, H. N. vii. 20. BOOK IV.] EPIGEAMS. 187 Cerellia, young, affects to say she 's old. Old Gellia 'mong the girls would be enroU'd. What either does, Collinus, canst digest ? The young one plays the fool, the old the beast Anon. 1695. XXI. CIS- SELITJS, A-N ATHEIST. Selius affirms that there are no gods, and that heaven is empty ; and thinks he has sufficient proof of his opinion in seeing himself become rich while he maintains it. Selius affirms, in heav'n no gods there are : And while he thrives, and they their thunder spare, His daring tenet to the world seems fair. Anon. 1695. Selius asserts, there is no providence : And what he thus asserts, he proves from hence, That such a villain as himself still lives ; And, what is more, is courted too, and thrives. Hat/. That there's no God, John gravely swears, And quotes, in proof, his own affairs ; For how should such an atheist thrive. If there was any God alive ? Westininster Review, April, 1853. XXII. ON" CLEOPATEA, HIS WIEE. Cleopatra, after having submitted to the first embrace of love, and requiring to be soothed by her husband, plunged into a glittering pool, flying from his embrace ; but the wave betrayed her in her hiding-place ; and she shone through the water though wholly covered by it. Thus lilies are distinctly seen through pure glass, and clear crystal does not allow roses to be hidden. I leaped in, and, plunging be- neath the waves, snatched struggling kisses ; more was for- bidden by the transparent flood. The virgin danger pass'd, the bride enraged. Sweet Cleopatra, to be disengaged, And scare mine arms, dives in the baths most clear: But the kind waters soon betrayed her there, Por though thus hid her glories did appear. Like to soft lilies in a crystal grave. Or roses closed in gems no cover have. With that I dived, and cropped the struggling kisses, Ye, glittering streams, forbade the other blisses. Fletcher. 188 maetial's xxiii. to thalia, on the poet lustiscus betjtianus.* "Whilst you are too dilatory, Thalia, and take long to con- sider which is the first, which the second, in your estimation, or to whom shall be assigned the palm in Greek Epigram, Cal- limachus has himself conceded the superiority to the eloquent Brutianus ; ^ and if he, satiated with Attic wit, should now sport with our Eoman Minerva, make me, I pray you, second to him. While thou deliherat'st too long, Whom, in sublime inscriptive song, Thou first or second shalt decree ; Callimachus bids Brutian be The foremost bard, in Attic sense ; Who, did he Roman salt dispense, Would leave my vanity unvex'd : Do but, Thalia, name me next. Elphinston. XXIV. TO rABiAwrs. Lycoris has buried all the female friends. she had, Fabi- anus : would she were the friend of my wife ! Lycoris of her friends still makes an end : I would she were to my wife such a friend. Wright. Lycoris' friends are rarely of long life : I wish she were acquainted with my wife. Anon. 1695. XXV. TO THE BANKS OF ALTINUM AND AQUILEIA. Te banks of Altinum,^ that rival the rural beauties of Baiae, and thou wood that sawest the fall of the thunder-stricken Phaeton ; thou Sola,* fairest of the Dryads, who wast taken to wife by the Faun of Antenor's land near the Euganean lake ; and thou, Aquileia, who delightest in Ledsean ^ Timavus, at the spot where Cyllarus drank of thy seven streams : Ye shall 1)6 the haven and the resting-places of my old age, if my retirement be at my own disposal. Altinum's shores, that with the Baian vie ; Ye conscious poplars, that a Phaethon sigh ; 1 Mentioned by Piiny, Epist. vii. 22. 2 That is, the world has acknowledged his superiority over Callimachus. 3 A town on the Adriatic, towards Venice. ^ Sola was the name of a lake in those parts. 5 The river Timavus is here called Ledtean, because it was visited by Castor and Pollux, the sons of Leda, when they were among the Argo- nauts. Cyllarus was the horso of Castor. BOOK IV.] EPIGEAMS. 189 Thou fairest Dryad on Antenor's lawn, Who weddedst on Euganean lake his Faun : Blest Aquileia, whom Timavus awes, Where Cyllarus his sevenfold waters draws : Hail, peaceful port and pillow of my age ! So mine it prove to choose my final stage. Elphinston. XXVI. TO POSTTJMrS, AN AVAEICIOTJS MATT. By not having been to see you at home in the morning for a whole year, do you wish me to say how much, Postumus, I have lost ? I suppose about twice thirty and thrice twenty sesterces. Pardon me, Postumus, I pay more for a toga.^ For not attending on thee a whole year, What I have lost thereby, Posthumus, hear. Five hundred pence at least upon this score. 'T is much : a gown would yet have cost me more. Ano?i. 1695. XXVII. TO DOMITIAF. You are in the habit, Caesar, of frequently commending my little books. A jealous rival, behold, says you ought not to do so ; yet you do it none the less on that account. You have even not been content to honour me with words alone, but have bestowed on me gifts such as no other could have given me ; behold again, my envious rival gnaws his blaclc nails. Grive me, Csesar, so much the more, that he may be the more mortified. My books thou often gracest with thy praise, Tho' malice it denies, thou oft giv'st bays ; Nor only by thy words, this truth is known. But honours too, which thou canst give alone ; Envy to black my fame yet goes on still ; Csesar, give more, till thou the envious kill. Anon. 1695. XXVIII. TO CHLOE, SQUANDERING HER PROPERTT ON LU- PEECTJS. You have given, Chloe, to the tender Lupercus stuffs from Spain and from Tyre, of scarlet hue, and a toga washed in the ^ If your sportulse amounted to a hundred and twenty sesterces in the course of the year, a toga, which I should wear out in visiting you, would cost me more than that sum. 190 maetial's warm Gralsesus,^ Indian sardonyxes, Scythian emeralds, a liundred gold pieces newly coined ; whatever indeed he asks, you never fail to give him. Poor shorn lamb ! Unhappy wo- man, your Lupercus will strip you bare. Thou on young Lupercus, fool, Dol'st the works of Spanish wool : , ' Tyrian robe, and scarlet vest, Gown, in warm Galsesus drest ; Sardonyx from farthest Ind ; Em'rald of the Scythian kind : Hundred lords,^ of novel coin : And what else he can enjoin. Woe to thee, self-wasting fair ! Thy Luperc will strip thee bare. Elphinston. XXIX. TO PTTDENS. The number of my books, dear Pudens, forms an objection to them; the ever-recurring toil fatigues and satiates the reader. Earity gives a charm : thus early fruits are most esteemed ; thus winter roses obtain a higher price ; thus coy- ness sets off an extravagant mistress ; and a door ever open attracts no young suitor. Persius is oftener noticed on ac- count of one book, than the empty Marsus for the whole of his Amazonid. Por yourself, when you are reading any one of my little books, imagine it to be the only one ; it will then be of more value in your eyes. The number of my books does them much wrong, The reader 's tired and glutted with their throng ; ' Scarce things take most, first fruits please those are nice, Roses in winter bear the highest price : Persius' one book 's more celebrated far Than Marsus' bulky Amazonian War. Reading a book of mine, feign there 's no more ; Thus of my wit thou 'It make the greater store. Anon. 1695. XXX. TO A riSHEEMAK, THAT HE MAT SPAEE DOMITIAI^'s FISH. Withdraw, fisherman, I warn you, far from the Baian lake, fly, that you may not retire with guilt on your head. These waters are inhabited by sacred fish, who know their ^ Made of the wool of sheep fed on the banks of the Galaesus, a river near Tarentum. See B. iii. Ep. 43. 2 Dominos. Coins with the head of the emperor on them. 1 BOOK IV.] EPIQEAMS. 191 sovereign, and lick liis hand, a hand than which the world contains nothing more powerful. They even have each its name, and each comes up at the voice of its master when called. Once, in this deep pool, as an impious Libyan w^as dravdng up his prey with quivering rod, he was suddenly struck with blindness, and unable to see the captured fish ; and now, abhorring his sacrilegious hooks, he sits a beggar on the banks of the Baian lake.^ But do you withdraw while you may, and while you are yet innocent, casting into the waters only harm- less morsels of food, and respecting the tender fish. Prom the Baian lake, with awe, Angler, I advise, withdraw : Lest, of hallow'd blood unspilt Thou shouldst rash incur the guilt. Sacred fishes, swimming bland. Hail their lord, and lick his hand : Hand whose greater cannot wave, Or to sacrifice or save. Name respective know they all, And attend their master's call. Once a Libyan rued the deed, When he play'd the trembling reed. Sudden light his eyes forsook, Nor display'd the fish he took. Now he well the hook may hate, Clothed with so dire a bait ; Where he, by the Baian pool, Sits a blinded begging fool. Then, dear angler, still by law Innocent, do thou withdraw. Throwing first a simple dish. Venerate devoted fish. Elphinston. XXXI. TO HIPPODAMUS. As to your desire to be named and read of in my books, and your belief that it would be something of an honour to you, may I be confounded, if your wish is not most agree- able to me ; and I am most anxious to give you a place in my verse. But you have a name imposed upon you un- favourable to the inspiration of the Muses ; a name which a 1 A story perhaps wholly the invention of the poet ; or perhaps rumour may have afforded some foundation for it. Amos supposes, that Martial may allude to some wretch whose eyes were put out by Domitian, for fishing in the pond. " Gems of Latin Poetry," p. 21L 192 maetial's barbarous motber gave you, and wbich neitber Melpomene, nor Polybymnia, nor pious Calliope, nor Pboebus, could pro- nounce. Adopt, tben, some name wbich is acceptable to tbe Muses ; " Hippodamus " can never be introduced with good efFect.i Cause thou desirest to be read and named So in my books, as by it to be famed, Let me not live the thing much pleases me, And in my lines I would insert thee free, But that thy name is so averse to all The Muses, which thy m.other did thee call, Which nor Melpom'ne nor Polymnia may, Kor sweet Calliope with Phcebus say. Adopt thee then some grateful name to us ; _ How wretchedly this sounds ! Hippodamus ! Fletcher. XXXII. OS A BEE ENCLOSED IN AMBEE. The bee is enclosed, and shines preserved, in a tear of the sisters of Phaeton, so that it seems enshrined in its own nectar. It has obtained a worthy reward for its great toils ; we may suppose that the bee itself would have desired such a death. Here shines a bee closed in an amber tomb. As if interr'd in her own honey-comb. A fit reward fate to her labours gave ; No other death would she have wish'd to have. May. The bee enclosed, and through the amber shown, Seems buried in the juice which was his own. So honour'd was a life in labour spent : Such might he wish to have his monument. Hay. XXXIII. TO SOSIBIANUS. As your desk, Sosibianus, is full of elaborate compo- sitions, why do you publish nothing ? " My heirs," you say, "will publish my verses." When? It is already, Sosibianus, time that you should be read. Thou say'st th' hast poems by thee of great worth : Why dost thou not, Sosibian, bring them forth ? Thy heirs, thou say'st, will cause them to be read ; 'T is pity 't is not done, and thyself dead. Anon. 1695. ^ Martial, we may suppose, disliked the sound of this name. It is used frequently, as an epithet, in Homer. 2 The tears which the sisters of Phaethon shed at his death, are said to have been changed mto amber. Ovid, Metam. b. ii. 1 BOOK IV.] EPIGRAMS. 193 XXXIY. TO ATTALUS. Although, Attalus, your toga is very dirty, whoever says that you have a snow-like toga speaks the truth. ^ Though thy gown 's dirty, he says true, I know, Who says thou hast a gown that looks like snow. L. H. S. XXXY. O^ A COMBAT OF DOES 1^ THE THEATRE. "We have seen gentle does engage in fight with opposed horns, and fall under the impartial stroke of fate. The hounds gazed on their prey ; and the proud huntsman stood amazed that nothing remained for his knife to do. "Whence are feeble minds warmed with so great fury ? Thus fight bulls ; thus fall heroes. Wee saw faint deere with furious butts, of late, Each other meet, and dye with mutuall fate. The dogs beheld their prey, the huntsman proud Admired no worke was to his knife allow'd. Whence should faint hearts such furie entertaine ? So fight Sterne bulls, so valiant men are slaine. May. The timorous deer against themselves make head. The fight forsake not, till they both lie dead : The dogs look'd on, huntsmen amazed appear. No prey employment found for either here. In softest breasts what moved a rage so high ? Bulls rush on bulls, and stoutest men so die. Anon. 1695. XXXVI. TO OLUS. Your beard is white, Olus, your hair is black. The reason is, that you cannot dye your beard, though you can dye your hair. Thy beard is hoary ; but thy locks are black : To tinge the beard thou hast not yet the knack. Elphinston. XXXVII. TO AEER. " Coranus owes me a hundred thousand sesterces, Man- cinus two hundred thousand, Titius three hundred thousand, Albinus six hundred thousand, Sabinus a million, and Ser- ' Quisquis te niveam dixit habere togam. The commentators have been much perplexed about the signification of niveam in this passage, and in a similar one in B. ix. Ep. 50, Quam (togam) possis niveam dicere jure tuo. Some think the meaning is that the toga hung in tatters, like flakes of snow ; others, that its colours were bleached to dirty white. o 194 maetial's ranus another million ; from my lodging-houses and farms I receive three millions, from my Parmesan flocks six hundred thousand," Such are the words, Afer, that you daily din into my ear ; and I know them better than my own name. Tou must pay me something, to enable me to bear this. Dispel mj daily nausea with a round sum : I cannot listen to your catalogue, Afer, for nothing. '' Coranus does a hundred to me owe ; Mancinus three ; Albinus twice this ; so Sabinus doth ; Serranus ten ; I know A sixth, ten more : then from my lands do come, My flocks and city rents, a vaster sum." ■ This thou, whole days, relat'st, and I retain With that exactness as I do my name. Say not to what thy income does amount, But something tell which turns to my account: I cannot hear thee, gratis, thus excite. Be thy tales true or false, my needy appetite. Anon. 1695. " Ten thousand pounds in bank and South-Sea funds ; Twenty in India stock, and India bonds ; Five thousand more have you in three per cents. ; A thousand are your Kent and Essex rents ; Those from Barbadoes are of late the same." All this I know, as well as my own name. The daily tale is grown extremely dull : I cannot hear it gratis, on my soul. For every time give me a guinea still ; Repeat it then as often as you will. Sai/. XXXYIII. TO GALLA. Galla, say " No : " love is soon sated, unless our pleasures are mixed with some pain ; but do not continue, Galla, to say "No" too long. Galla, deny ; and render passion strong : But, prudent Galla, do n't deny too long. Mphinston. XXXIX. TO CHARINTJS. You have bought up all sorts of silver plate ; you alone possess the old masterpieces of Myro, and the handiwork of Praxiteles and Scopas ; you alone have the productions of Phidias' graver, and the labours of Mentor. Nor are genuine Gratiuses ^ wanting in your collection, nor vases inlaid with 1 Gratiana vera, the workmanship of one Gratius: Plin. H. N. xxxiii. 11. BOOK IV.] EPIQEAMS. 195 Callaic ^ gold, nor embossed ones from the tables of your ancestors. Tet, amidst all your silver, I wonder, Charinus, that you possess none pure.^ Charinus, thou 'st a rare collection made Of silver works, both massy and o'erlaid Alone dost Myron's, Scopas' pieces show, What Mentor and Praxiteles could do ; Alone dost Phidias' noble gravings vaunt, Alone the true Gratianus dost not want ; Enchased goblets of pure Spanish ore, All double gilt, thy father's table bore. What 's in these wonders to be wonder'd most, A penny current-coin thou canst not boast. Anon. 1695. Wrought, graved, emboss'd, of old and modern date, In the best taste, how great your stock of plate ! Here Phidias, there Praxiteles doth stand : Here the sole piece, that 's left, of Mentor's hand. This cistern did a Jerningham invent : That bowl and cup were both design'd by Kent. 'Mongst all the things where art and fancy join, 1 wonder you no silver have in coin. Sai/. XL. TO POSTUMUS. When the halls of the Pisos, and the thrice-illustrious house of the learned Seneca, were displaying long lines of pedigrees, I preferred you, Postumus, to all such high per- sonages ; you were poor and but a knight, but to me you were a consul. With you, Postumus, I counted thirty winters ; we had one couch in common between us. Now, full of honours, and rolling in wealth, you can give, you can lavish. I am waiting, Postumus, to see what you will do for me. You do nothing ; and it is late for me to look about for another patron. Is this. Fortune, your act ? Postumus has imposed upon me. Though Piso's stem speaks great nobility, Seneca shows a threefold pedigree. And both their courts to my access are free ; ' ^ Vases manufactured by the Callaeci or Gallicians in Spain, or of metal brought from their country. 2 A play on the word ^^wre. Martial means that Charinus's table was defiled with debauchery. The translators in verse have not had regard to this meaning. Compare B. i. Ep. 77. o 2 196 maetial's Yet my salutes to thee I first did bring, Poor, and a knight, but unto me a king : Ten years, twice told, in amity we led, One table served us, and one common bed. Thou 'rt noble now and rich, canst throw away ; What to our ancient friendship wilt thou pay ? I may expect : but thou hast nought to say. Grown old, a patron I can't seek, though poor On me, or faith, hast thou imposed more ? Anon. 1695. XLI. TO A POET BECITING BADLY. "Why, when about to recite, do you wrap your neck in wool ? That wool would be more proper for our ears. "Why, wrapt about your neck, wool do you wear ? That wool would better serve to stop our ear. Wright. "When thou thy poems dost recite, for fear Of catching cold, fur 'bout thy neck dost wear. This fitter were for th' ears of them that hear. Anon. 1695. XLII. TO FLACCUS, ON HIS PAYOTJEITE AMAZONICUS. If any one could possibly grant my wishes, hear, Flaccus' what sort of favourite I would desire. The youth should, first, be born on the banks of the JVile ; no land knows better how to bestow attractions. Let him be whiter than snow ; for in dusky Egypt that colour is more beauteous, as more rare. Let his eyes rival the stars, and his floating locks play upon his neck; I do not love, Tlaccus, carefully arranged locks. Let his forehead be small, and his nose slightly aquiline ; and let his lips rival Paestan roses in redness. Let him often seek my caresses when I refuse them ; refuse his when I seek them ; and let him be often more sportive than his master. Let him be jealous of other youths, and ever keep young damsels at a distance ; and, while a man to all else, let him be a youth to me alone. " I understand," say you ; " you do not deceive me ; for I can testify that your description is exact. Such was my Amazonicus." If I could such obtain, as I desire, Hear then what beauty, Flaccus, I admire. One born in Egypt, i' th' first place, V d choose ; Such artificial charms none else do use : I 'd have her skin white as the driven snow, — From that swarth clime the fair do fairest show ; ] I BOOK IV.] EPIGEAMS. 197 Her eyes with stars should vie, her flowing hair Fall on her neck, which I to curls prefer ; Her forehead should be smooth, well shaped her nose, Her lovely lips a rosy red disclose ; Sometimes I 'd have her kind, and sometimes coy. In no man's courtship, but mine own, to joy; Young men to hate, ev'n her own sex to fear ; To others ice, to me a maid appear. Now, Flaccus, I foreknow what thou wilt say. Ceelia, my Caelia, thou dost here display. Anon. 1695. XLIII. TO COEACINUS. 1 did not call you, Coracinus, an unnatural debauchee ; I am not so rash or daring ; nor am I a person to utter false- hoods willingly. If I so spoke of you, Coracinus, may I find the flagon of Pontia and the cup of Metilus ' hostile to me ; I swear to you by the extravagance and madness of the rites of Isis and Cybele. "What I said, however, was of a light and trifling nature, — a something well known, and which you yourself w^ill not deny ; I said, Coracinus, that you are strangely fond of the female sex. XLIV. Oli MOUNT YESIJVITJS. This is Vesuvius, lately green with umbrageous vines ; here the noble grape had pressed the dripping coolers. These are the heights which Bacchus loved more than the hills of Nysa ; on this mountain the satyrs recently danced. This was the abode of Yenus, more grateful to her than Lacedsemon ; this was the place renowned by the divinity of Hercules.^ All now lies buried in flames and sad ashes. Even the gods would have wished not to have had the power to cause such a catas- trophe.3 Vesuvius, shaded once with greenest vines. Where pressed grapes did yield the noblest wines ; Which hiU far more than Nysa Bacchus lov'd, \\Tiere satyrs once in mirthfuU dances mov'd, Where Venus dwelt, and better lov'd the place Than Sparta, where Alcides temple was. Is now burnt downe, rak'd up in ashes sad. The gods are grill'd that such great power they had. 3Iay. ^ Two poisoners of that day. 2 There were temples of Venus and Hercules on the mountain. This was the eruption of Vesuvius in which Pliny the elder lost his life. PUn. Ep. vi. 16. 198 maetial's Vesmius, cover'd with the fruitful vine, Here flourish'd once, and ran with floods of wine : Here Bacchus oft to the cool shades retired. And his own native Nysa less admired : Oft to the mountain's airy tops advanced, The frisking Sat^TS on the summits danced : Alcides here, here Venus, graced the shore, Nor loved her favourite Lacedaemon more. Now piles of ashes, spreading all around In un distinguish' d heaps, deform the ground : The gods themselves the ruin'd seats bemoan. And blame the mischiefs that themselves have done. Addiso7i. XLY. TO APOLLO. To thee, PhcEbus, Parthenius, the chamberlain of Domitian, makes these offerings, in behalf of his son Burrus, joj^ully and with full censer ; that he, who this day marks his first five years by entering a second lustrum., may live many Olym- piads of years. Grrant accomplishment to the prayers of a father ; so may thy Daphne delight in thee, and thy sister rejoice in unspotted virginity ; so mayst thou glory in per- petual youth ; so may Bacchus never possess, Phoebus, locks as long as thine. Accept, great Apollo, the censer of joy, Parthenius the Palatine lights for his boy ; That Bm'rus, who hails his first lustre complete. Olympiads unnumber'd of glory may greet. Oh, sanction the vow : so be loved by thy tree ; So guard thy fair sister virginity's glee ; So bloom thou perennial, with radiance divine ; Not Bromius' own head boasting honours like thine. Elphinston. XLYI. ON SABELLUS. The Saturnalia have made SabeUus a rich man.i Justly does Sabellus swell with pride, and think and say that there is no one among the lawyers better ofi" than himself. All these airs, and all this exultation, are excited in Sabellus by half a peck of meal, and as much of parched beans ; by three half pounds of frankincense, and as many of pepper ; by a sausage from Lucania, and a sow's paunch from Palerii ; by ^ It was customary for clients and dependents to make presents to their patrons at the Saturnalia, celebrated in December. f BOOK ly.] EPIGRAMS. • 199 a Syrian flagon of dark mulled wine, and some figs candied in a Libyan jar, accompanied with onions, and shell-fish, and cheese. From a Picenian client, too, came a little chest that would scarcely hold a few olives, and a nest of seven cups from Saguntum, polished with the potter's rude graver, the clay workmanship of a Spanish wheel,^ and a napkin va- riegated with the laticlave. More profitable Saturnalia Sa- belius has not had these ten years. Of Saturnian joys a Sabellus may tell, And display the new riches that give him to swell. He may think, 'mid the pleaders, and safely declare That himself is most blessed beyond a compare. Say, my Muse, what makes Belly so proud and so vain? Of split beans half a peck, half a bushel of grain ; Of frankincense and pepper, thrice half a pound stanch ; A Lucanian sausage, Faliscian panch ; Or of deep must decocted a Syrian flask : Superfine candied figs, a fair Libyan cask ; "With some scallions, perwinkles, some choicest of cheese ; And whatever a high-pamper' d palate can please. Nor, amid Saturnalian boons, be forgot Of old half-shrivell'd olives, no overgrown pot : Nay, of crockery smoothed with the potter's rough tool, See a sweet set of seven, says the Saguntine school. Though his plate burnish neither the silver nor steel, 'Tis the well-temper'd clay of a good Spanish wheel. On a board so supphed universally spread, With a cloth of broad border, white striving with red. Now can envy unburst eye the cloth, plate, or cates. If but half be the truth, that Sabellus relates ? Can she deem that Sabellus, or lawyer alive, Tasted richer Saturnians these twelvemonths twice five ? Elphinston. XLYII. ON A FIGURE OF PHAETON. An encaustic figure of Phaeton is depicted upon this tablet. What do you mean, painter, by burning Phaeton a second time ? Behold poor Phaeton again sublime ! Ah ! why burn Phaeton a second time ? Elphinston. ' A potter's wheel. The earthenware manufacture of Spain was of a very inferior character. 200 MAETIAL S XLYIII. TO PAPILUS. Percidi gaudes ; percisus, Papile, ploras. Cur, quae vis fieri, Papile, facta doles ? Poenitet obscoensD pruriginis ? an magis illud Pies, quod percidi, Papile, desieris ? Tu godi d'essere immembrato : e dopo d'esserlo stato, tu, o Pa- pilo, piangi. Perche, o Papilo, ti lagni tu di cio che vuoi che ti si faccia ? ti penti tu deir osceno prurito ? ovvero piangi tu, Papilo, per desiderarlo maggiormente ? Graglia. XLIX. TO TLACCTIS. He knows not, Placcus, believe me, what Epigrams really are, who calls them mere trifles and frivolities. He is much more frivolous, who writes of the feast of the cruel Tereus ; or the banquet of the unnatural Thyestes ; or of Daedalus fitting melting wings to his son's body ; or of Polyphemus feeding his Sicilian flocks. Prom my effusions all tumid ranting is ex- cluded ; nor does my Muse swell with the mad garment of Tragedy. "But everything written in such a style is praised, admired, and adored by all." I admit it. Things in that style are praised ; but mine are read. Thou know'st not, trust me, what are Epigrams, Flaccus, who think'st them jests and wanton games. He wantons more, who writes what horrid meat The plagu'd Thyestes and vex'd Tereus eat, Or Dsedalus fitting his boy to fly, Or Polyphemus' flocks in Sicily. My booke no windy words nor turgid needes, Nor swells my Muse with mad smothurnal weedes. Yet those things all men praise, admire, adore. True ; they praise those, but read these poems more. May. You little know what Epigram contains, Who deem it but a jest in jocund strains. He rather jokes, who writes what horrid meat The plagued Thyestes and vex'd Tereus eat ; Or tells who robed the boy with melting wings ; Or of the shepherd Polyphemus sings. Our muse disdains by fustian to excel, By rant to rattle, or in buskins swell. Though turgid themes aU men admire, adore. Be well assured they read my poems more. Westminster Review, Apr. 1853. BOOK lY.] EPIGEAMS. 201 L. TO THAIS. "Why, Thais, are you constantly saying that I am old ? One is never too old, Thais, for what you require. My age, you, Thais, often spell : One 's ne'er too aged — to do well. Elphinston. LI. TO CiECILIANTJS. "When you had not six thousand sesterces, Csecilianus, you used to be carried about ostentatiously in a vast litter borne by six men. But since the blind goddess has given you two millions, and your coins have overflowed your coffers, behold you have taken to go on foot. What prayers ought I to offer on your behalf for such merit, such praise-worthy modesty ? May the gods restore you, Csecilianus, your litter ! When six thousand, Caecilian, exceeded thy store, Thee to bus'ness or pleasure six huge fellows bore. When her thousands twice ten the blind goddess bestow'd, And thy coin burst the budget, thy foot took the road. For a merit so modest, what wish can be fair ? May the gods, poor Csecilian, restore thee thy chair ! Elphinston. LII. TO HEDTLUS. If you do not leave off", Hedylus, being drawn by a yoke of goats, you, who were recently a Jicus, will become a ca- prificus} LIII. TO COSMUS, ON" AN TLLITEEATE FELLOW PEETENDING TO BE A CYNIC. Yonder person, Cosmus, whom you often see in the recesses of the temple of our Pallas, and on the threshold of the new temple,^ — an old man with a stick and a wallet ; whose hair bristles white and dirty, and over whose breast a filthy beard descends ; whom a wax-coloured cloak, sole partner of his bare bed, covers ; and to whom the crowd that encounters him gives food forced from them by his impor- tunity, — him, I say, you take for a Cynic, but you are deceived by a false appearance; he is no Cynic, Cosmus. What then ?— a dog.^ ^ An untranslatable pun on the words caj5er and^cws. Ficus signifies the piles, or a person afflicted with them ; caprificus, a wild fig tree. 2 The temple of Minerva Flaviana, recently built by Domitian. See B. ix. Ep. 2. 3 The name Cynic, " dog-like," is derived from KVdtv, " a dog. 202 maetial's He who i' tli temples you so often meet, In public porches, Cosmos, and the street, "With bag and staff, nasty, and antique dress'd, His hair an end, beard hanging down his breast ; Who, for a cloak, a coverlet does use; Barks for his meat, the givers oft' abuse ; A Cynic to be thought does make this stir : But he no Cynic is. What then ? A cur. Anon. 1695. LIV. TO COLLINTJS. O Collinus, to whom it has been granted to obtain the crown of oak in the Capitol,^ and to surround thy deserving locks with its foliage first of all thy race, make the most, if thou art wise, of every day, and always imagine that thy last is come. No one ever succeeded in moving the three wool-spinning sisters ; ^ they observe rigidly the day which they have fixed. Though thou be richer than Crispus, more firm-minded than Thrasea's self, more magnificent than the splendid Melior, Lachesis adds nothing to the thread ; she unvmids the spindles of her sisters, and one of the three always puts a stop to the prolongation of it. You, whom your country's honours high do raise, And crown with merited but early praise ; If you are wise, make use of every hour, And never think another in your power. No man could ever soften cruel fate ; But what that once decrees must be our date. • Were you polite as Sidney, or as great. Had Cato's soul, or Marlborough's estate. Still is life's line by the three sisters sped : Not one prolongs, but one still cuts, the thread. Hay. LV. TO THE POET LUCIUS. O Lucius,^ gloi'y of thy age, who dost not allow old Gains * and our Tagus to yield the palm to eloquent Arpi,^ let him who has been born among the cities of Grreece sing of Thebes or Mycenae in his lay, or famous E-hodes, or the 1 In the Quinquennial games, instituted by Domitian to Jupiter Capito- linus. 2 The Fates. 3 Lucius was a native of Spain, contemporary with Martial. * Gaius was a river of Spain, sometimes called Old Gaius, say the com- mentators, when it was afterwards named Gravius. 5 Lucius imitated Horace, who was born in Apulia, in which Arpi was situate. BOOK lY.] EPIGEAMS. 203 Ledaean palaestrae ^ of licentious ^ Lacedsemon. Por us, born among the Celts and Spaniards, let us not be ashamed of repeating in grateful verse the harsher names of our own land ; Bilbilis, renowned for its mines of cruel iron, a town which surpasses in this respect the Chaiybes and the Norici ; Platea, resounding with the working of its own steel, a town which the river Salo, that tempers arms, surrounds with shal- low but unquiet waters ; Tutela ; the dances of Eixamse ; the joyful festivities of Cardua ; Peterus, red wdth intertwined roses ; Bigae, and its ancient theatres constructed by our ancestors ; the Silai, unerring in the use of the light dart ; the lakes of Turgontus and Perusia ; the pure waters of the humble Vetonissa ; the sacred oak-grove of Buradon, through which even the tired traveller walks ; ^ and the fields of the vale of Vativesca, which Manlius tills with lusty steers. Do these rough names excite a smile, fastidious reader ? Smile, if you please ; I prefer them, rough as they are, to Butunti.* Lucius, thou glory of thy times, Who, by th' enchantment of thy rhymes, Nor lett'st old Gains quit the field, Nor Tagus' praise to Arpi's yield : By bards, 'mid Argive cities sprung, Be Thebes or great Mycense sung ; Or Rhodes renown'd, or Leda's schools, Where lustful Laced&emon rules. From Celts and bold Iberians, we Shall twang the stubborn names with glee ; Nor deem it shame, in duteous verse, Parental honours to rehearse. Be thou, my Bilbilis, proclaim'd. For might of savage metal famed. Nor Chalybs nor Noricians try With thy superior sons to vie. Hark ! how thy Platea's blows astound The echoes, with her iron-sound ! Her Salo locks, the lord of arms. With gentle grasp, but potent charms. ^ Palaestrae, wrestling-grounds, called Ledaean because Castor and Pol- lux, the sons of Leda, distinguished themselves in athletic exercises. 2 In allusion, probably, to the wrestling and running of girls in the gymnasia. 3 Attracted by its beauty and inviting shade. * A town of Apulia. B. ii. Ep. 48. 204 maetial's Tutela, come ; and bring along The Rixamars, with dance and song ; The Carduans, with their festal joys ; And Peteros, who never cloys, As blushing still with wattled rose ; And Rigae, seat of ancient shows. Silaans, sure with slender shaft ; Ye gladdest lakes, that ever laugh'd ! Both Turgens and Petusia, hear : Ye rills, who, ravishing the ear Of little Vetonissa, rove ; And Baradon's holm-h allow' d grove, Where Sloth herself would ceaseless stray, Nor lose her patience, or her way. But never shall the Muse forget The winding vales, unequall'd yet, That Matinessa's toil endears To Manlius, by her sturdy steers. Nice reader, at each rustic name. Thy stomach stirring, not thy blame, Thou laugh' st ; laugh on : still be they mine, And be the sweet Bitunti thine. Elphinston. LVI. TO GAEaiLIANTJS. Do you wish me, Grargilianus, because you send large pre- sents to old men and widows, to call you munificent ? There is nothing on earth more sordid or meaner than you are, who call your snares gifts. In like manner is the guileful hook bountiful to fishes, and the crafty bait a boon to the silly inhabitants of the forests. What the difierence is between giving liberally, and making such presents, I will teach you, if you do not know. Make them, Grargilianus, to me. Gifts t' old rich men thou send'st, and widows all, Yet would' st be thought, Gargilian, liberall. There 's nought more sordid, nought more base than thee, To call thy snares a liberalitie. So to the greedy fish the hooke is kinde : Such favour beasts from cousening bates do finde. But wouldst thou know true liberalitie ? I '11 teach thee then ; bestow thy gifts on me. May. Rich presents, to old men and widows sent, You hope may prove you are munificent. What can your sordid baseness more declare, When for a present thus you send a snare ? ^ BOOK IV.] EPIGEAMS. 205 Such presents makes the angler to the trout : Such presents in a mouse-trap are set out. If you would learn what 's generous and free, A real present is one sent to me. Hay LYII. TO FAUSTINAS. "Whilst I am detained by the voluptuous waters of the attractive Lucrine lake, and the caves warmed with fountains issuing from the rocks of pumice-stone, you, Faustinus, are dwelling in the domain of the Argive colonists,^ whither the twentieth milestone from the city brings you. But the bristly chest of the Nemsean lion ^ is now inflamed with heat, and Baiae glows with more than its own warmth. So, then, farewell, ye sacred fountains and grateful shores, the home alike of Nymphs and of JSTereids ! In the cold winter you were preferable to the mountains of Hercules : ^ but now you must yield to the cool shades of Tibur. While near the Lucrine lake, consumed to death, I draw the sultry air, and gasp for breath, "VYhere streams of sulphur raise a stifling heat, And through the pores of the warm pumice sweat. You taste the cooling breeze, where, nearer home. The twentieth pillar marks the mile from Home : And now the sun to the bright lion turns, And Baise with redoubled fury burns ; Then, briny seas and tasteful springs, farewell, Where fountain-nymphs confused with Nereids dwell ; In winter you may all the world despise, But now 't is Tivoli that bears the prize. Addison. LVIII. TO GALLA. You lament in secret, Gralla, the loss of your husband ; you are ashamed, Gralla, I suppose, to weep for a man. Thy husband lost, thou wail'st in gloom, I ween. Thou blushest, Galla, to make sorrow seen. Elphinston. LIX. OlS" A VIPEK EKCLOSED. IIS^ AMBEE. Whilst a viper was crawling on the weeping boughs of the • Tibur, built by Catillus, a native of Argos. Hor. Od. ii. 6. 2 The constellation Leo. ^ The hills near Tibur, where Hercules was worshipped. See B. i. Ep. 13. I 206 Martial's Heliades,^ an amber-drop flowed upon the reptile as it lay in its way. "While wondering at being fettered by the gummy exudation, it suddenly grew stiff, immured in the congealing mass. Pride not thyself, Cleopatra, on thy royal sepulchre ; ^or a viper reposes in a tomb still nobler. Creeping among the boughs, where gums doe drop, The flowing amber did a viper stop : Amazed awhile how in that dew she 's held, That straight turn'd ice, and shee in it congeal' d. Of your vast shrine bee n't, Cleopatra, proud. Since vipers now are nobler tombs allow'd. Old MS. 16th Cent As 'mong the poplar boughs a viper crawls, The liquid gum upon him struggling falls : With drops alone while wond'ring to be held, He straight within the amber was congeal'd. Then of thy tomb, proud queen, think not too high : A worm far nobler here entomb'd doth lie. Anon. 1695. LX. ON CTJRIATITJS. Let us in the summer solstice retire to Ardea and the coun- try about Psestum, and to the tract which burns under the Cieonsean constellation ; ^ since Curiatius has condemned the air of Tivoli, carried off as he was to the Styx notwithstand- ing its much-lauded waters. Prom no place can you shut out fate ; when death comes, Sardinia ^ is in the midst of Tivoli itself. When Leo rages with the summer's sun. From pestilential climates never run ; Since, in the wholesom'st and the purest air. The destinies Croatius did not spare. When thy time's come, death from no place is bound, Sardinia in the midst of Tibur 's found. Anon. 1695. LXI. TO MANCINTJS. A little while ago, Mancinus, you joyfully boasted to us, in an exulting tone, that some friend of yours had made you a present of two hundred thousand sesterces. Only four days ago, as we were talking in the assembly-room of the poets, you told us that your cloak, which had cost ten thousand ^ Daughters of the sun ; sisters of Phaeton ; who were metamorphosed into poplars. See Ep. 25 and 32. 2 The Constellation Leo. 3 Sardinia was thought a very unhealthy island. EOOK IT.] EPIGEAMS. 207 sesterces, was the gift of PompuUa ; you swore that Bassa and Cselia had given you a real sardonyx, a brilliant opal, and two gems green as the waves of the sea. Yesterday, when you suddenly left the theatre while Pollio was singing, you remarked, as you ran off, that three hundred thousand sesterces had just come to you by a legacy ; this morning you spoke of another hundred thousand, and this afternoon of a hundred thousand mere. What extraordinary injury have we, your companions, wrought you? Have pity on us, unfeeling mortal, and at length hold your peace. Or, if your tongue cannot be silent, tell us now and then some- thing that we should like to hear. Two hundred bountied by a friend, Mancinus, thou didst late pretend. In poets' corner proved our walk ; Pompilla's present was thy talk : Robes worth ten thousand, robes so fine ! The sardonyx with treble hne, And the two gems, so like the wave, Bassa, thou sAvor'st, and Caelia gave. Last night, while charming Pollio sung, Succession shook thy flippant tongue. No theatre thy foot could stay ; Three hundred fell that very day ; And one at morn, and one since noon. Have mercy on us, vile buffoon. From thy poor friends what canst thou dread, That with thy wealth thou strik'st them dead ? Or if thy clack can never tire, Say, sometimes, what thy friends desire. Elpliinston. LXII. ON LTCOEIS. Swarthy Lycoris has left Eome for Tivoli, sacrea to Her- cules ; for she imagines that everybody becomes white there. ^ To heights Herculean Lyco would repair, Assured that ev'ry black was whiten'd there. Elpliinston. LXIII. ON" C^RELLIA. While Cserellia, the mother of a family, was sailing from Bauli to Baise, she perished, drowned by the malice of the raging flood. What glory have ye lost, ye waters ! Such a ^ As it was a cooler place than Rome, and people were thought to be less scorched by the sun in it. 208 Martial's monstrous catastrophe ye did not of old allow to Nero, even though commanded to do so.' From Baulian, while she seeks the Baian coast ; A mother 's murder'd by the madding main. No more, ye waves, your wonted glory boast : Such horror once a Nero begg'd in vain. Elphinston. LXIV. O^ THE GAEDENS OE JULIUS MAETIALIS. On the long ridge of the Janiculan Hill lie the few acres belonging to Julius Martialis ; land more blessed than the gardens of the Hesperides. Secluded retreats are spread over the hills, and the smooth summit, with gentle un- dulations, enjoys a cloudless sky, and, while a mist covers the hollow valleys, shines conspicuous in a light all its own. The graceful turrets of a lofty villa rise gently towards the stars. Hence you may see the seven hills, rulers of the world, and contemplate the whole extent of Eome, as well as the heights of Alba and Tusculum, and every cool retreat that lies in the suburbs, with old Fidense and little Eubra, and the fruit-bearing grove of Anna Perenna, which delights in vir- gins' blood.^ Thence may be seen the traveller on the Flami- nian and Salarian roads, while his carriage is unheard, so that its wheels are no interruption to gentle sleep ; neither is it broken by the cry of the boatswain, or the noise of hawsers, although the Mulvian bridge is near, and ships are seen glid- ing swiftly along the sacred Tiber. This country box, but which ought rather to be called mansion, is rendered addition- ally agreeable by the welcome of its owner ; you will imagine it to be your own; so ungrudgingly, so liberally, is it thrown open to you, and with such refined hospitality. You would deem it the pious abode of Alcinous, or of Molorchus re- cently made rich.^ You now, who think all these attrac- tions insignificant, cultivate with a hundred spades cool ^ Nero had contrived that his mother should be shipwrecked on the voyage to Bauli, but the project did not succeed. By drowning Caerellic^», the waters lost the honour which they had gained by sparing Agrippina. 2 Quod virgineo cruore gaudet. Whether it is meant that virgins were in old times sacrificed there, is uncertain. Such sacrifices to Anna Perenna are nowhere else mentioned. 3 Molorchus was a shepherd worshipped for having entertained Her- cules when he was seeking the Nemaean lion. He is said to have been recently made rich, because Domitian had built a temple to him near that of Hercules. BOOK IV.] EPIGRAMS. 209 Tivoli or Prseneste, and give the slopes of Setia to one single husbandman ; whilst I, for my part, prefer to all your pos- sessions the few acres of Julius Martialis. Martiall's few acres pleasanter Than the Hesperian gardens are : Along the ridge of hills which crooke With many a large and hollow nooke, The topp, with little swelling there, Yett playne, enjoys a sky more cleare ; And whilst foggs spread the winding vales, There only lightsome ayre ne'er fayles ; And gentler stars with happyness This little lofty village bless. Whence the sev'n hills distinctly wee, And the world's lord, great Rome, do see ; The Tusculan and Alban mount, And the suburban springs may count ; The old Fidene, Rubra's short bounds, Perenna's apple-bearing grounds, Which much in virgin blood delight. There in the highways to our sight The whirling chariots oft appeare ; Butt their sound cannot reach our eare, To break soft sleepes, nor joyned voyce Of seamen or the boatemen's noyse, Though by the Milvian bridge so nigh On Tiber's flood the ships sayie by. This lovely farme, or rather seate, Its master's bounty makes compleate ; With courteous frankeness still 't is showne, So ope to guests they 'd thinke 't their owne. It 's like the howse o' th' king or swayne, Who heroes once did entertayne. You now who all too little count Cold Tiber or Pra^neste, or Mount Setia (which hundred teemes can' t plow), May all unto their Fame allow ; Whilst Martiall's acres I prefer, Fewer, 't is true, but pleasanter. Old MS. 16th Cent LXV. O'S PHIL^NIS. Phiisenis is always weeping with one eye. Do you ask how that can be ? She has but one. With but one eye Phiisenis weeps. How done If you inquire, know she hath got but one. Wright. I 210 maetial's LXVI. TO LINUS. You have always led the life, Linus, of a country gentle- man; an existence than which none can be more inexpen- sive. It was only on the ides, and occasionally on the kalends of the month, ^ that you put on your toga ; and one robe of ceremony lasted you ten summers. The forest sent you wild boars, and the field sent you hares, without cost ; the well- searched wood gave you fat thrushes. The fish came easily snatched from the watery pool ; and the red cask poured forth wines of native growth. No attendant of Grrecian birth stood at your orders, but a rustic assemblage from the farm. As often as your amorous fancies were warmed and excited by wine, the housekeeper, or the wife of your hardy labourer, sufficed to appease them. Fire hurt not your house, nor Sirius your lands ; no ship of yours was ever sunk in the deep ; nor is any one now at sea. In your house dice never supplanted the quiet tali ;2 but all your stake was a few nuts. Tell us, then, where is the million sesterces which your parsimonious mother left you. Nowhere. You have accomplished a diffi- cult thing, Linus. Your life has ever in the country been And in a way that nothing was so mean. Scarce at a wedding a new bob did wear : Your coat an old acquaintance of ten year. From your estate your pork and venison came : Your ponds supplied your fish, your woods your game. And not'a glass of wine throughout the year; Your cellar stock'd with only your own beer. No French valet appear'd in spruce attire : j Only John trots about your kitchen fire. j You ne'er had drunken frolic in your life, That ever aim'd above a farmer's wife. No loss by fire, or by tempestuous skies, Of ships, insurance, freight, or merchandise. You never play'd or ventured deep at White's : The most was shilling whist on winter nights. How is your mother's vast estate run out ? You 've brought a most surprising thing about ! Hai/. LXVII. TO PR^TOR. The poor Gaurus begged of Praetor a hundred thousand 1 Days of public business, ceremony, and sacrifices. 2 Bones, with which children and country people played. BOOK IT.J EPIGRAMS. 211 sesterces, well known to him as he was by long-standing friendship, and told him that he wanted that sum alone to add to his three hundred thousand, to qualify him, as a full knight, to applaud the emperor.^ Says Praetor : " You know, I shall have to give a sum of money to Scorpus and Thallus ;^ and would that I had only a hundred thousand sesterces to give them!" Ah! shame, shame on your un- grateful coffers, filled to no good purpose ! That which you refuse to a knight, Praetor, will you bestow upon a horse ? Gaurus, in 's need, did of the Praetor pray A hundred pound, grown in his friendship grey : And said, that sum would give him a just right To all the honours of a Roman knight. But he reply'd : " An hundred pound I use r th' race to spend, nor this will me 'excuse." Ah, shames it not, ingrate, thy friend to slight ? To give a horse what thou deny'st a knight ? Anon. 1695, LXYIII. TO SEXTUS. You invite me to a dinner that costs but a hundred farth- ings, while you yourself dine magnificently. Am I invited to dine with you, Sextus, or to envy you ? My mess cost cheap, thine the profusest sum ; To sup, not envy, Sextus, I did come. Anon. 1695. LXIX. TO PAMPHILrS. You always, it is true, Pamphilus, place Setine wine, or Massic, on table ; but rumour says that they are not so pure as they ought to be. You are reported to have been four times made a widower by the aid of your goblet. I do not think this, or believe it, Pamphilus ; but I am not thirsty. Pure Massic wine thou dost not only drink. But giv'st thy guests : though some this do not think. Four wives, 't is said, thy flagon caused to die ; This T believe not, yet not thirst to try. Anon. 1695. With the best wines of France you entertain : Yet that your wine is bad the world complain : That you have lost four wives by it ; but I Neither believe it, sir, — nor am a-dry. Hay, ^ To sit in the theatre in the seats appointed for the knights ; an order to which no one was admitted who had not a fortune of at least four hundred thousand sesterces. 2 Names of charioteers. p 2 212 maetial's LXX. TO MAEULLIN^US. The father of Ammianus, when dying, left him by his will nothing but a dry halter. Who woidd have thought it pos- sible, Maru]linus, that Ammianus could have been made to wish his father still alive ? Jack's father 's dead : and left him without hope : For he hath nothing left him, but a rope. By a strange turn did fortune thus contrive To make Jack wish his father were alive. Hay. LXXI. TO SArEONITJS ETJEUS. I have been long seeking, Safronius E-ufus, throughout the city, for a maiden that says No : but not one says No. Just as if it were not right, as if it were disgraceful, as if it were prohibited, No maiden says No. Is there then no maiden chaste ? There are a thousand. What then does the chaste ODe do ? She does not say Yes, certainly, but still she does not say No. Long have I search'd, my Soph, the town, To find a damsel that would frown. But not a damsel will deny, As if a shame 't were to be shy ; As if a sin, will no one dare : I see not one denying fair. " Then of the fair is no one chaste ? " A thousand, Soph : you urge in haste. " What does the chaste ? Enlarge my views." She does not grant, nor yet refuse. Ulj^hinston. LXXII. TO QTJINTUS. You beg me, Quiutus, to present you my works. I have not a copy, but the bookseller Trypho has. "Am I going to give money for trifles," you say, "and buy your verses while in my sober senses ? I shall not do anything so ridi- culous." Nor shall I. You ask me for my books of poems still : I have not one ; but Dodsley's shop they fill. " What ! spend my money ! and such trifles buy ! I am not such a fool," say you : — nor I. Sav. LXXIII. ON VESTINUS. When Vestinus, overcome with disease, was at his last hour, and just on the point of crossing the Stygian waters, he BOOK lY.] EPIGRAMS. 213 prayed to the sisters who were spinning his last threads that they would bring their dark twine to an end with little delay. "While, dead for himself, he lived a few moments for his dear friends, such affectionate prayers moved the stern goddesses. Then, having divided his great wealth, he retired from the light of day, feeling, after this was done, that he died an old man. When on time's precipice Allworthy stood, Ready to launch into th' eternal flood, The cruel fates addressing thus he said, " Ye goddesses, one moment spare my thread : Lost though I am, let friends my bounty prove." His pious prayers the rigid sisters move. He his vast wealth divides ; then quits the stage ; And in that moment lived a Nestor's age. Hay. LXXIV. TO C^SAR, ON SOME DOES EIGHTING. Do you see what fierce combats the unwarlike does at- tempt, and how great rage there is in these timid animals ? They burn to rush together upon death with their narrow brows. Do you desire to spare the does, Caesar ? Let the hounds loose upon them. See how the tim'rous herd in fight engage ! How fearful deer express the fiercest rage ! Death from themselves they are not seen to fear ! Caesar, set on the dogs, to save the deer. Anon. 1695. LXXV. TO NIGRIT^A. O Nigrina, happy in thy beauty of soul, happy in thy consort, chief glory of the daughters-in-law of Latium, it delights thee to share with thy husband the wealth inhe- rited from thy father, rejoicing to associate and participate with him in all things. Though Evadne may have cast herself upon the funeral pyre of her husband, and have been burned ; and though a fame in no respect inferior exalt Alcestis to the stars ; thou hast done better ; thou hast gained, by visible evidence, such reputation for affection, that thy love needs not to be attested by death. Blest in thy spirit, in thy husband blest, O thou of wives most honour'd, and the best ; Who your whole fortune to your consort spare ; And know no joy in which he bears no share, 214 MAETIAL S Evadne died in her lord's funeral flame ; Nor less immortal is Alcestis' name ; Yet less did they, when they resign'd their breath : Late is the proof of love, when after death. IIay> Blest in yourself and in your husband too. The mirror of our Roman dames are you, Nigrina, that so generously impart Your fortune where you wisely gave your heart. Evadne and Alcestis we admire, Who martyrs of chaste wedlock did expire : Whereas in life your merits shine so clear, You need not die to make your love appear. Anon. LXXVI. TO AN AVAEICIOUS TEIEND. You have sent me six thousand sesterces, when I asked you for twelve ; to obtain twelve, I must ask you for twenty-four. I ask'd twelve thousand sesterces ; six you gave ; Henceforth I '11 double ask what I would have. Wright. Ten pound I begg'd ; with half thou didst me speed : Next time I '11 ask thee twice what I have need. Anno, 1695. LXXVII. OlS- ZOILUS, AK ENYIOTJS MAN. I have never hitherto asked riches of the gods, being con- tent with moderate enjoyments, and happy in what I possess. — But now, poverty, I wish you (pray excuse me) to re- tire. What is the cause of this new and sudden prayer ? I long to see Zoilus hang himself. I ne'er begg'd riches from the gods before, Well pleas'd with what I had, and to be poor : But, want, now get thee hence : Heav'n grant me store. Whence comes this sudden new desire of pelf ? I 'd fain see envious Zoilus hang himself. Anon. 1 695. I never did the gods importune, To grant to me a monstrous fortune ; Contented with my little store : But now I own I wish for more. Whence comes this sudden love of pelf ? That Zoilus may hang himself. Hay. LXXVIII. TO AFEE. Although you have seen sixty harvests gathered in, and your face glistens with many a white hair, you run hither and thither wildly throughout the city, and there is no BOOK IV.] EPIGEAMS. 215 great man's chair to which you do not every morning assi- duously pay your respects. Without you no tribune is allow- ed to leave his house, nor is either of the consuls excused from your dutiful attendance upon him. Ten times a day you re- turn to the palace on the sacred hill, and talk unceasingly of your friends Sigerius and Parthenius. Let young men act thus — but than an officious old man, Afer, there is nothing more offensive. Thrice twenty years you 've seen your grass made hay ; Your eyebrows too proclaim your hair is grey : Yet through all quarters of the town you run ; At every ball, and levee, you make one. No great man stirs, but you are at his heels ; And never fail both them who have the seals. You never miss St James's ; ever chat Of Lord or Bishop this, or General that. To youth leave trifles : have you not been told. That of all fools no fool is like the old ? ^«7- LXXIX. TO MATHO. You were constantly, Matho, a guest at my villa at Tivoli. Now you buy it. — I have deceived you ; I have merely sold you what was already your own. So constant guest unto my farm ye 're known, You buying it, I cheat, and sell your own. Wright. You still were welcome at my country seat. You buy it. It was yours before. — You 're bit. Anon. LXXX. TO MARO. You declaim, Maro, when you are ill with a fever. If you are ignorant that this is frenzy, you are not in your right senses, friend Maro. You declaim when out of order ; you declaim while a victim to the semitertian ague. If you cannot excite perspiration by any other means, well and good. " Oh ! but it is a great thing to do." You are mistaken; when fever is burning your vitals, the great thing is to be quiet, Maro. Though fever-struck, thou plead'st still. Dost nott know This madness is ? That doth thy madness show. Sick of an ague, still you bawle i' th' court ; If 't bee to make you sweat, y' have reason for 't. 'T is much to speake (you '11 say), when fires like these The entrails burn. — No ; much to hold one's peace. Old MS. I6th Cent, 216 maetial's LXXXI. 0:ff TABULLA. Wheu Fabulla had read that epigram of mine, in which complain that no maiden says No, she, although asked once, twice, and thrice, disregarded the prayers of her lover. Now, Eabulla, say Yes : I advised you to say No, but not to say No for ever. When FabuUa heard the strain, Where the poet dares to plain That no damsel will deny ; Once, nay twice or thrice, the sigh Of her lover she despised : Now, Fabulla, be advised, Yield a promise, and be clever : Do deny ; but not for ever. Elphinston. LXXXII. TO EUFTJS, WITH TWO BOOKS OE EPIGEAMS rOE YENITLEIIJS. E-ecommend also, Eufus, these little books of mine to Ve- nuleius, and beg him to grant me some few moments of his leisure, and, forgetting awhile his cares and occupations, to examine my trifles with indulgent ear. But let him not read them after either his first or his last glass, but when Bacchus is in his glory, and delights to witness convivial excitement. If it be too much to read two volumes, let him roll up one of them ; and the task, thus divided, will seem shorter. These, Rufus, to our Venuleius commend ; And beg him a moment with me to unbend. Forget he must totally cares and designs, Not critic severely my libertine lines. Nor let him read after the first or last cup, But when middle Bacchus bids spirits be up. If two be too much, double one parcel down ; So half, perhaps, better the pleasure will crown. Elphinston. LXXXIII. TO N^VOLTJS. When you are devoid of care, Nasvolus, nobody is more disagreeable than you ; when you are in trouble, Nsevolus, nobody is more pleasing. When devoid of care you answer nobody's salutation, you look down on every one, you seem to think every one a slave, and no man living worthy of your regard. When you are in trouble, you make presents ito one person, you pay your respects to another as your lord i BOOK lY.] EPIGRAMS. 217 and patron, and invite everybody to your house. Pray be always, Nsevolus, in trouble. Nothing more insolent than you in place ; And nothing more obliging in disgrace. In place, you bow to none ; scorn every soul : " This fellow is a scrub ; and that is dull." 'T is " dine with me ; " " your servant ! " in disgrace : Is it then proper you should have a place ? Hay. LXXXIV. ON THAIS. There is no one among the people, or in the whole town, who will assert that Thais has granted him favours, although many desire and entreat them. Is Thais then, I ask, so pure ? By no means ; she has an evil tongue. LXXXV. TO PONTICTJS. "We drink out of glass, Ponticus; you, out of porcelain.* Why? Lest a transparent vessel should betray the bettei' quality of your wine. We drink in glass, but you in stone ; and why ? Lest clear glass should your better wine descry. Wright. Thy cup 's of china, ours of glass. Why so ? That we thy sordid usage may not know : One glass two sorts of wine would plainly show. Anon. 1695. LXXXYI. TO HIS BOOK, SENT TO APOLLINARIS. If thou wishest to be approved by Attic ears, I exhort and advise thee, my little book, to please the learned Apol- linaris.^ No one is more acute than he, or more learned, nor is any one more candid or more indulgent. If he shall receive thee to his heart, and repeat thee with his lips, thou wilt neither have to dread the sneers of the malignant, nor wilt thou furnish parchment coverings for anchovies. If he shall condemn thee, thou mayst run forthwith to the stalls of the salt-meat sellers, to have thy back scribbled upon by their boys.^ Wouldst thou, by Attic taste approved, By all be read, by all be loved, ^ Literally Murrhine ware, made of fluor spar. ^ gge B. vii. Ep. 26. 2 Supposed to mean, who may improve themselves in writing, by prac- tising on the back of the parchment ; or who, after wrapping up the fish i:i it, might inscribe prices, or the addresses of customers, on it. 218 MARTIAL S To learned Harris' curious eye, By me advised, dear Muse, apply. In him the learned judge you '11 find, In him the candid friend and kind. If he repeats, if he approves. If he the laughing muscles moves. Thou nor the critic's sneer shalt mind, Nor be to pies or trunks consign'd. If he condemns, away you fly, And mount in paper kites the sky, Or, dead, 'mong Grub-street's records lie. Dr Hoadley. Addressed to the author of Hermes. LXXXVII. TO PABULLUS. Your wife Bassa, FabuUus, has always a child at her side, which she calls her delight and her darling. And, that you may have the greater cause for wonder, she is not at all fond of children. What is her reason, then ? She is troubled wdth wind. Bassa, a little child has ever near, Which she does call her playfellow and dear : For such yet cares not, if you '11 credit fame. How then 2 She's rude, and the child bears the blame. Ayion. 1695. Thy Bassa, Fabullus, a child bears about. On whom she strives ev'ry sweet name to bestow : Before made she never with children a rout : Some 'scapes she may blushless on innocence throw. Elphinston. LXXXVIII. TO OKE WHO DID NOT ACKITOWXEDGE THE EEGEIPT OE MAETIAL's PEESENT. You have sent me nothing in return for my little gift, and five of the days of the Saturnalia are passed. Thus neither have six scruples of Septician silver ^ been sent to me, nor a table-cloth, fit present for a complaining client, nor a jar red with the blood of the Antipolitan tunny, nor one containing small prunes, nor a little basket of wrinkled Picenian olives, so as to enable you to say that you have not forgotten me. You may deceive others by your w^ords and your smiling countenance ; to me you wiU be henceforth an unmasked deceiver. For the little boon that went. You, regardless, nothing sent : ^ See note on B. viii. Ep. 71. BOOK lY.] EPIGEAMS. 219 And, what heightens my amaze, Five has Saturn seen his days. Scruples one of Septy's name, Nor a cloth from client came ; Not a jar so sweetly red With the blood poor tunny shed : Nor the texture of the twigs ; Fraught with tiny Coctan figs, Nor the wisely wattled frail, "With Picenian wrinkles pale : That you should prefer the plea. You had once remember'd me. Others, then, you may beguile "With your silken words and smile : ;: You to me have shown your plan ; ^ So are half an honest man. Elphmston. '^ LXXXIX. TO HIS BOOK. 'I Enough, enough! little book! we have already reached !j the end of the parchment. Tou would still go on, and add I . to your bulk, and cannot confine yourself within due limits ; I just as if you had not done enough, when you had com- pleted the first page. The reader is now quite querul- '■, ous, and out of patience ; the librarius^ himself now cries out, A< "Enough, enough, little book." Oh, 't is enough, it is enough, my book ; Upon the utmost page thou now dost look. "Would'st thou swell further yet ? yet larger be ? Not leave thy paragraphs and margins free ? As if to some known period thou didst tend, "When ev'ry epigram may be thy end. Reader and printer tired, no more can brook ; 'T is time thyself pronounce the last line strook. Oh, 't is enough, oh, 't is enough, my book. Anon. 1G95. * Librarius may be either librarian, bookseller, or transcriber. 220 maetial's BOOK V. I. TO D0MITIA2f, WITH THE AUTHOR'S BOOK. This offering, Caesar, wlietlier thou art residing upon the jiills of Palladian Alba, and looking thence on the one side upon the temple of Diana, and on the other upon the waters of Thetis, — or whether the truth-telling sisters are learning thy oracular responses,^ where the smooth waters of the straits bathe the suburban meadows ; or whether the nurse of Mneas,'^ or the daughter of the Sun,^ or Anxur, white with health-giving waters, attracts thee ; — this offering I send to thee, auspicious support and protection of our empire, by whose continued preservation we believe that Jupiter shows his gratitude.'* Do thou but receive it ; I will imagine that thou hast read it, and proudly indulge in Gallic ^ credulity. Whether i' th' Alban Mount thy station be, Where thou the prospect hast, on one side, sea, Diana's Grove on th' other ; or before This, if Caieta's bay delight thee more, The hill named from the daughter of the sun, Or where the Anxur's wholesome streams do run. O health and safety of the public state ! Whose evils, as our own, we deprecate ; And whom, when prosperous and we happy see. Grateful we then believe the gods to be. Receive this little book I to thee send. Only a gracious hand vouchsafe t' extend ; I '11 think thou read'st it, though thou cast it by, Pleased with a Gallic, rude credulity. Anon. 1695. ^ Whether thou art residing at Antium, where Fortune was worshipped under the form of two sisters, representing good and evil fortune. ~ Caieta, so called from the nurse of ^neas, said to have been buried there. ^ Circeii, which had its name from Circe. * For the restoration of the Capitol after it had been destroyed by fire. Suetonius, Domit. c. 5. Comp. B. vii. Ep. 59. ^ The Gauls had the character, among the Romans, of being credulous. BOOK v.] EPIGEAMS. 221 II. TO HIS EEADEES. Ye matrons, youths, and virgins, to you is our page dedicat- ed. But you who delight in wanton sallies and licentious jests may read my first four books, which are of a more free character. The fifth book is for the amusement of the lord of the world ; and is sucli as G-ermanicus may read without a blush in the presence of the Cecropian virgin- goddess.^ Ye matrons, boys, and virgins neat, To you my page I dedicate. Thou whom more shameless sports delight, And naked pleasant wit, invite Thy fancy to my four first books : This fifth shall sport with Caesar's looks ; Which great Domitian may be bold Before his goddess to unfold. Fletcher. III. TO DOMITIAK. Degis,2 who now, G-ermanicus, lives on the banks of our river,^ having come to thee from the placid waters of the Ister, is said in his delight and overjoyment at having just seen the guardian of the world, to have addressed his com- panions thus : — " How much better is my fate than that of my brother, since I am allowed to behold so closely that god whom he adores at so great a distance ! " When Degis, sent from Ister's subject waves, Hail'd the blest bank victorious Tiber laves ; Astonish' d, as o'erjoy'd, the stranger saw The man, from whom mankind beseeches law ; And thus, on either hand, address' d his mate : How raised is ours, beyond our brethren's fate ! To us is giv'n to gaze th' empyreal star, Which they are humbly proud t' adore afar. Elphinston. lY. TO PAULUS, ON MYRTALE. Myrtale is wont to smell of deep draughts of wine ; but, to ' Meaning that Domitian, who loved to be called Germanicus, from his expedition into Germany, might read this book in the presence of clu: te Minerva, a goddess whom he especially worshipped. Suet. Domit. c. 4. "^ Supposed to have been the brother of Decebalus, king of the Daciaus, and to have come to Rome as an ambassador. 3 xhe Tiber. 222 Martial's deceive us, she eats bay-leaves, and cautiously mingles tliem in her cups instead of water. A¥henever, Paulus, you observe her with flaming face and swollen veins approaching you, you may well say, " Myrtale drinks bays." ^ M}Ttale often smells of wine, but, wise, With eating bay-leaves thinks it to disguise ; So no,tt with water tempers the wine's heate, But covers it. Henceforth if her you meete "With red face and swell'd veynes, modestly say, *' Sure MjTtale hath drunk o' th' bayes to day." Old 31 S. 16th Cent. Y. TO SEXTTJS. Sextus, eloquent keeper of the Palatine library, who enjoyest the immediate presence of the god that inhabits it (for it is thy privilege to learn the cares of the emperor as they rise within him, and to know the secret soul of our ruler), make room somewhere for my little books also, near those of Pedo, of Marsus, of Catullus. Near the heaven- inspired lay of the Capitoline war,^ place the lofty epic of the sublime A^irgd. Sextus, whose winning Muse presumes t' explore The Palatine Minerva's matchless lore, 'T is thine t' approach her friend, the earthly god ; T' imbibe his graces, and attend his nod. 'Tis thine to scan and soothe each springing care ; To mark the hue his inmost secrets wear. Oh ! to thy friend some little nook assign, Where Pedo, Marsus, and Catullus shine : But place the heavenly Capitolian strains Past by the buskin'd Maro's grand remains. Elijhinston. VI. TO THE MUSES. A BEQUEST TO PAETHETfllTS. If it is not too much to ask, or too troublesome to you, ye Muses, make this request of your favourite Parthenius : — So may a long and happy old age, under the rule of Caesar, bring thy last hour ; so mayst thou prosper, even envy her- self looking favourably on thee ; and so may Burrus soon ap- ' An allusion to certain poetasters, who were said to seek inspiration by eating laurel-leaves. 2 Some poem on the war raised by the party of Vitellius is evidently meant ; written either by Domitian or by Sextus. This war is called Bellum Vitellianum. Suetonius, Domit. c. 1. BOOK v.] EPIOEAMS. 223 predate the virtues of his father, as thou shalt admit this timid and small collection within the sacred precincts of the prince's privacy. Thou knowest the times when our Jove is at ease, when he beams on us with his own benignant counten- ance, with which he is wont to refuse nothing to suppliants. Thou hast no reason to fear that our request is extravagant ; a book which is decorated with cedar and purple, and swells proudly with dark bosses, never makes too great or inconveni- ent demands. Yet do not put these compositions too forward ; but hold them as if thou wert offering and contemplating no- thing. If I know the votary of the nine sisters, he will of his own accord ask for the purple-covered book. If what I ask appears to you not great, O Muses ! your Parthenius thus entreat : — May thy old age come late, and happy end : Caesar be safe, and, to the last, your friend ; So above envy may you ever be. Your son a scheme of all your virtues see, As you this timorous, bashful book shall grace When in the sacred presence 't is in place. To you the prince's gracious moods are known, When with serenest looks, and most his own, He shines on all who to his throne address, And measures bounty out to each distress. Nor apprehend, this trifling gilded book Aims at high things, does for great matters look ; You need not offer 't, hold it in your hand, As one designing nothing to demand : If the nine sisters' patron I do know. Himself will you command the book to show. Anon. 1695. YII, TO TFLCAIS", O^ THE EESTOEATIGIN" OF THE CITY AETER EEING PAETIALLY DESTEOTED BY EIEE. As the flames renew the nest of the Assyrian phoenix, when- ever the solitary bird has lived through its ten centuries ; so Home, renewed, has put off her former old age, and has herself assumed the looks of her guardian. Forget at length, I beseech thee, Yulcan, thy cause of complaint against us,^ and spare us : we are, it is true, descendants of Mars, but we I are also descendants of Yenus. Spare us, mighty lord ; so acc( I ' As being the offspring of Mars, to whom Viilcan was an enemy on account of the liberties which he had taken with Veuus. 224 maetial's may thy sprightly consort pardon the nets forged at Lemnos,* and resign herself to love thee. As ruins renovate th' Assyrian nests, When twice five ages the Sol's bird hath spent ; So Rome her old decrepitness digests, Dress'd in the visage of her president. Now, Vulcan, I beseech, forget and spare Our grief, w' are Mars and Venus progeny : So thy loose wife shall pass the Lemnian snare, And in chaste love afi'ect thee patiently. Fletcher. d Yin. ON PHASIS. The edict of our supreme lord and ruler, by which the seats in the theatre are more exactly defined, and the knight is allotted a place free from contact with the vulgar, was lately the theme of Phasis' approbation in the theatre, where, flaming with purple robes, he was boasting proudly, and in a pompous tone : "At length we can sit more at our ease ; the dignity of the knighthood is now restored ; we are not pressed or contaminated by the mob." These and such remarks was this upstart uttering, when Leitus ^ ordered his arrogant purple robes to change their seat. While Phasis in the theatre of late, Phasis, in purple shining, did dilate On th' emperor's edict, which each order graced. And 'cording to their dignity them placed, These swelling words, big with conceit, he spake : — " At length we nobles here our ease may take ; Regard 's had of us, and our seat 's set out. We 're neither press'd, nor dirty'd by the rout." While, lolling, thus he did the rout despise, The lictor bids his saucy purple rise. Anon. 1695. IX. TO SYMMACKUS.^ I was indisposed ; and yoa straightway came to see me, Symmachus, accompanied by a hundred of your pupils. A ' Nets in whicli Venus and Mars were caught by Vulcan. See Odyss. B. viii. ' Leitus, having the charge of the equestrian seats, ordered Phasis to quit them, as not being qualified by his fortune to be in the order of knights. •^ A physician, who came to visit Martial, accompanied, according to the fashion of those times, by his pupils. BOOK v.] EPIGEAMS. 225 hundred hands, frozen by the northern blast, felt my pulse. I had not then an ague, Symmachus, but I have now. I droop'd ; straight Symmachus to me does hie, An hundred quacks bearing him company ; An hundred frozen hands my pulse did crave : Before I had no ague, now I have. Anon, 1695. X. TO EEGULTIS. Por what reason shall I say it happens, that fame is refused to wi'iters while living, and that but few readers love the compositions of their own day ? It is doubtless the cha- racter of envy, Eegulus, ever to prefer the ancients to the moderns. Just so, ungrateful as we are, do we frequent the ancient portico of Pompey;^ just so do old men extol the mean temple of Catulus.^ Ennius was read by thee, Eome, while Virgil was alive ; and Homer was derided by his own age. Earely did the theatres applaud and crown Menander ; Ovid was kno^Ti only to his Corinna. Do not, however, ye little books of mine, be in haste for fame : if glory comes only after death, I am in no hurry for it. What 's this ? that fame to living men 's denied ? And readers their own times seldom affect ? Eegulus, these are tricks of envious pride, The present still for old things to reject. So most ingrate we seek old Pompey's shades. And praise the totter'd fane of Catulus. While Maro lived, Ennius whole Eome invades, And Homer's age laugh'd him ridiculous. Crowned Menander seldom heard a shout, Corinna her own Naso knew alone. O my small books, ne'er hasten to go out : If praise come after death, I '11 not go on. Fletcher. XI. TO SEYEETIS, OK THE POET STELLA.^ My friend Stella, Severus, wears on his fingers sardonyxes, emeralds, diamonds, jaspers. Though there are many gems on his fiugers, there are more in his verses, whence, I con- clude, his hand is so decorated. I My Stella does upon his fingers wear Em'ralds and diamonds, sapphires, rubiee fair ; ^ Preferring it to the newer ones of Domitian and others. '2 Built by Lutatius Catulus. It was mean in comparison with more odem temples. ' See Ep. 8. 226 maetial's Many bright gems upon his hands we see, — More, and more radiant, in his verses be. The brilliant fancies in his lines which stand, Seem to proceed from his adorned hand. Anon. 1695. XII. OK STELLA. That Masthlion proudly carries nodding burdens upon his sturdy head, or that the gigantic Mnus holds seven or eight boys on each arm, seems to me by no means di£&cult, when my friend Stella bears, upon any one of his fingers, ten girls. ^ That the haughty Masthlion now Wields such weights on perched brow ; Or that Linus finds his praise. With each hand eight boys to raise ; Cannot seem a matter hard. Or attract supreme regard ; When my Stella, without pother, On ane finger, this or t' other, Can, by so enchanting aids. Carry half a score of maids. Elphinston. XIII. TO CALLISTEATUS. I am, I confess, Callistratus, and have always been, poor ; yet I am not an obscure or unknown knight, but am read throughout the world, and people say of me, " That is he ! " and, what death has awarded to but few, has become mine during my lifetime. But you have halls, resting upon a hundred columns ; your cofi'ers with difficulty contain the wealth which you have gained as a freedman ; vast farms in Egyptian Syene are yours ; and Gallic Parma shears for you innumerable flocks. Such are you and I ; but what I am, you cannot be ; what you are, any one of the multitude may be. I am, I own, and ever have been, poor, But yet a gentleman, and not obscure. Spread through the world my writings and my name ; Few in the grave have reach' d my living fame. You have a house on a vast colonnade ; More wealth than merchant ever gain'd in trade ; Your farms in Evesham Vale rich harvests crown ; Many your flocks which feed on Bansted Down. ^ The representations, perhaps, of the nine Muses, and of his mistress Hiantis. See B. vi. Ep. 21. I BOOK y.] EPIGEAMS. 227 Such you and I : like me you cannot be ; Fortune may make a cobbler like to thee. Hay. Yes, I am poor, Callistratus, 1 own ; And so was ever ; yet not quite unknown : Graced with a knight's degree ; nor this alone, But through the world my verse is frequent sung ; And " That is he ! " sounds buzz'd from every tongue : And what to few, when dust, the fates assign, ' In bloom and freshness of my days is mine. Thy ceilings on a hundred columns rest ; Wealth, as of upstart freemen, bursts thy chest j Nile flows in fatness o'er thy ample fields ; Cisalpine Gaul thy silky fleeces yields. Lo ! such thou art, and such am I : like me, Callistratus, thou canst not hope to be ; A hundred of the crowd resemble thee. Elton, XIV. Q-S NANNEITJS. JSTanneius, having been always accustomed to sit in the front row, at the time when anybody was allowed to take a place, moved his quarters, after being twice or thrice requested to do so, yet still seated himself on the benches of the knights, almost immediately behind Caius and Lucius. Thence for awhile, with his head shrouded in a hood, he re- mains a spectator of the games ; ungracefully peeping with but one eye. Being again ejected, the unhappy wight crossed to the standing way, and, leaning over the end qf a seat, half kneeling, he endeavoured to make it appear to the knights that he was sitting, and to Leitus that he was standing. Nanneius used in the first rank to sit, While so the sleeping edict did permit : But, that revived, thrice routed, up he truss'd His camp, and to the lowest seat was thrust, Ev'n behind Caius, Lucius, straitly pent : W^here, wrapping up his head, and there content Ill-favour' dly to see but with one eye, The lictor did the wretch no sooner spy, But thence he chased him to the farthest space. Between the cells ; where, taking up his place. Half standing, and half leaning 'gainst the end Of the knights' form, which did his stress befriend, Free from exceptions here on ev'ry hand, To some he boasts to sit ; to some, to stand. -4 wo». 1695. q2 L 228 maetial's xv. to domitian. This is the fifth book, Augustus, of my sportive effasions, and no one complains of having been injured by my verse. But many a reader rejoices in an honoured name, to whom lasting fame is secured by my gift. " And yet of what use are these trifles, however much they respect personal character ? " Grranted that they are of no use to many, still they amuse me. This is the fifth book of my drolling Muse, Yet none complain my verses them abuse ; But many given they have a noble name, Who by my pen enjoy immortal fame. What profits this, some say, though so it be ? If none it profits, yet it pleases me. Anon. 1695. XVI. TO THE EEADEE. That, although I could write on serious, I prefer to write on amusing topics, is your fault, kind reader, who read and repeat my verses all over Bome. But you do not know how much your favour costs me. If I were to plead causes at the temple of the scythe-bearing god,^ and to sell my words to persons trembling under accusation, many a seaman whom I had defended would send me jars of Spanish wine, and the lap of my toga would be stained with all sorts of coin. But, as it is, my book is merely a guest and sharer of revels, and my page afi'ords amusement for which I receive no pay. Not even the poets of old were content with empty praise ; in those days the smallest present made to the immortal bard (Yirgil) was Alexis. " Ton write charmingly," you say, " and we will reward you with praises for ever." — Do you pretend not to understand my hints ? You wiU, I suspect, make me a lawyer. That I, who could be serious, thus doe write, Deare reader, 't is for your, not my delight, Who my lines thro' the towne reade and repeate : But what I lose by this you know not yet. For would I plead for prisoners waiting death. Or unto careful clients sell my breath, That many a piece of Spanish wine would yield, And with much gold my bosome would be fiU'd. But now I and my bookes are only guests, And gratis make you merry at your feasts. 1 Saturn, a temple of whom was near the forum. Macrob. b. i. c.8. BOOK v.] EPIGEAMS. 229 But former poets were not pay'd with prayse ; Alexis was least meed for Virgil's layes. Now you cry, " Good." That 's all. Nay then I see You not conceive me. I must lawyer bee. Old MS. mh Cent. XYII. TO GELLIA. While you were telling us of your ancestors, and their ancestors, and the great names of your family, while you looked down on our equestrian order as a mean rank, and while you were asserting that you would marry no one who did not wear the broad border of the senator, you married, Gellia, a porter. Of rank, descent, and title proud, Mere gentry Lady Susan could not bear ; She 'd wed but with a duke, she vow'd — And so absconded with a player. N. B. Halhed. XYIII. TO QUINTIANUS. Since, in this month of December,^ in which napkins, and elegant shoe-fastenings,^ and wax-tapers, and tablets, and tapering vases filled with old Damascene plums, fly about in all directions, I have sent you nothing but my little books, the offspriug of my study, I may seem to you stingy or rude. But I hate the crafty and mischievous arts of pre- sents. Grifts are like fish-hooks ; for who does not know that the greedy char is deceived by the fly which he swal- lows ? Whenever the poor man abstains from making pre- sents to his rich friend, Quintianus, he shows a liberal spirit. Now in December that the napkins fly About, spoons, candles, paper, plums, that I Only my home-born books a present make, For rude or covetous thou may'st me take. But, know, I hate the vile ensnaring trade, By which a gift a baited hook is made ; Which is not cast to feed the hungry fish. But for a prey to fill the fisher's dish. Then, Quinctianus, to his wealthy friend, A poor man 's lib'ral when he nought does send. Anon. 1695. • In which presents were made, during the Saturnalia. - Ligidoi. It is uncertain whether ligula here means a shoe-fastening, as in B. ii. Ep. 29, or a small ladle or spoon, as in B. viii. Ep. 33, and B, xiv. Ep. 120. 230 martial' s XIX. TO CJESAB. If any reliance is to be placed on true report, no age, Caesar, can be preferred to yours. "When have men had the privilege of beholding triumphs better deserved ? When have the Palatine gods done more to merit our gratitude ? Under what ruler has Mars' s Eome shown herself fairer or greater ? Under what prince was there ever so much liberty ? This vice, however, exists, and not a small one, although it be but one, that the poor man cultivates friends who simply treat him with ingratitude. "Who bestows any portion of his wealth upon his old and faithful friend, or whose train is accompanied by a knight whom he has helped to create ? To have sent at the time of the Saturnalia a silver spoon of small weight, or a gaudy toga worth ten scruples, is extravagant liberality; and our proud patrons call such things presents. Perhaps there may be one, who will chink out a few gold pieces. But since these men are not our friends, be thou, Cassar, a friend to us ; no virtue in a prince can be more pleasing than generosity. But be- fore you have read thus far, Grerm aniens, you will have been laughing at me to yourself for giving you advice which is for my own benefit. If truth make e'er her mandates heard, No times to thine can be preferr'd. Great Csesar, who could triumphs see Equal to those display'd by thee? Or can the period be assign'd, That boasted palace-gods more kind? More great or glorious, under whom Effulged, high sir, imperial Rome ? And under what auspicious reign Had liberty so large domain? Yet one defect I must confess ; Nor can I cloak or make it less. 'The widgeon, in dependent state, Must oft th' ungrateful cultivate. Who to an old and faithful friend Will now his faculties extend ? Or where is now the patron known, Attended by a knight his own ? To send a ladle of six ounces, Amid the Saturnalian flounces; BOOK v.] EPIGRAMS. 231 Or, in the hope of high renown, Ten scruples' worth of flaming gown : This is a lux'ry worthy kings, "Who princely hold so paltry things. An oddity may be so school'd, As down to chink some bits of gold Still, as such instances are rare. Be bounty, Csesar, more thy care. No virtue can more sweetly shine, Or in a prince be more divine. But now I see Germanic stint The smile : and so I drop the hint. Elphinston. XX. TO JULIUS MAETIALIS. If you and I, dear Martialis, might enjoy our days to- gether free from care, — if it rested with us to dispose of our leisure time, and to spend in each other's company a life of true ease, — we should know no halls or mansions of lordly patrons, nor vexatious lawsuits and troubles of courts, nor proud family busts ; but carriage airings, conversation, read- ing, the Campus Martins, the shady porticoes, the Virgin water,^ the warm baths ; — such places would be our constant resorts, and such our daily occupation. As it is, neither of us lives for himself, but sees his good days flee from him and vanish ; days which are ever being lost to us, and set down to our account. Should any one, then, delay to live, when he knows how? If, dearest friend, it my good fate might be T' enjoy at once a quiet life and thee, If we for happiness could leisure find, And wand'ring time into a method bind. We should not, sure, the great men's favour need. Nor on long hopes, the court's thin diet, feed ; We should not patience find to daily hear The calumnies and flatteries spoken there ; We should not the lords' tables humbly use, Or talk in ladies' chambers love and news ; But books and wise discourse, gardens and fields, And all the joys that unmixt Nature yields. Thick summer shades, where winter still does lie. Bright winter fires that summer's part supply. Sleep not controll'd by cares confin'd to night, Or bound in any rule but appetite. ^ Water so called, which Agrippa brought by an aqueduct from Praeneste. 232 maetial's Free, but not savage or ungracious mirth, Rich wines to give it free and easy birth. A few companions, which ourselves should choose; A gentle mistress, and a gentler muse. Such, dearest friend, such, without doubt, should be Our place, our business, and our company. Now to himself, alas ! does neither live, But see good suns, of which we are to give A strict account, set and march thick away. Knows a man how to live, and does he stay? Cowley. XXI. TO EEGIILTJS, OK APOLLODOTUS, A PEESON OF WEAK MEMOET. The rhetorician Apollodotus, Hegulus, used formerly to salute Decimus by the name of Quintus ; Crassus, by that of Macer.^ JS'ow he returns the salutation of each by his own name. How much can care and labour effect! He had written the names down, and learned them by heart. Instead of Decimus thou didst Quintus greet, And Macrus name when thou didst Crassus meet ; What wonders we to labour may impute ; Writing and conning, thou canst both salute ! Anon. 1695. XXII. TO PATJLUS. If I did not wish, as well as deserve, to find you at home this morning, may your Esquiline mansion, Paulus, be re- moved still farther from me ! But I live close to the Ti- burtine column, near the spot where rustic Flora looks upon ancient Jove. I must surmount the steep path of the Suburran hill, and the pavement dirty with footsteps never dry ; while it is scarcely possible to get clear of the long trains of mules, and the blocks of marble which you see dragged along by a multitude of ropes. Worse than all this is it, that, after a thousand toils, your porter tells me, fa- tigued as I am, that you are not at home. This is the end of my useless labour and dripping toga : even to have seen Paulus at home in the morning was scarcely worth so much. The most attentive client always meets with most neglect from his friends. Unless you sleep longer in the morning,^ you cannot be my patron. 1 Deciraus, "tenth," he called Quintus, "fifth;" Crassus, "fat," Macer, "lean." 2 So that 1 may find you at home when I call on you. I BOOK v.] EPIGEAMS. 233 Thee at home, honour'd Paul, in the mom, If I wish'd not, and earn'd not, to see ; Be my glory debased to my scorn, And thine Esquiline farther from me. Fast by Tibur's famed pillar I rhyme, Where rude Flora contemplates old Jove ; Then the steepy Suburra must climb. And the rocks never dry must I rove. Of the mules I must break the long train. And of marbles bedragg'd for the dome. Worst of all, after labour so vain, Thy gruff porter denies thee at home. This I pay, the great Paulus to miss : This atones both the rain and the wind. Let me die, if a price such as this I 'd afford, the best patron to find. Thus the drudges of duty may weep. And protectors extol as divine. But, my Paul, if thou canst never sleep. Thou canst ne'er be a sov'reign of mine. Elphinston. XXIII. TO BASSUS, PEETENDING TO BE A KFIGHT. Tou used to wear garments of the colour of grass,^ Bassus, while the laws concerning the seats in the theatre were a dead letter. But since the care of a discreet censor ^ has bid them revive, and the knight, more certain of his position, obeys the directions of Oceanus,^ you shine forth in a garb dyed either with saffron-colour or vermilion, and think you deceive others by such a dress. No cloak, Bassus, is worth four hundred thousand sesterces,^ or, before all men, my friend Cordus would have been a knight.^ In the hue of fair nature plain Bassus was dress 'd. While the statutes theatric continued at rest. But, the moment the censor benign bade them wake, And the knight ascertain'd heard an Ocean that spake, Only scarlet and purple betinctured thy clothes. Thus thou fanciest, shrewd Bassus, on fools to impose. ^ You wore a dress of green, or of whatever colour you pleased, while the Roscian law, which allotted the knights seats distinct from the other spectators, was disregarded. Now you dress splendidly, that you may appear to have a right to the equestrian seats. 2 Domitian. ^ Holding the same office as Leitus, Ep. 8. ^ The fortime requisite for a knight. ^ For he has at least a fine robe. 234 maetial's But no robes ever four hundred thousand have cost : Else my Cordus a steed, before all, had emboss'd. Elphinston. XXIY. OK HERMES, AN" EMINENT aLADIATOE. Hermes is the pride of his age in martial contests ; Hermes is skilled in all kinds of arms ; Hermes is a gladiator and a master of gladiators ; Hermes is the terror and awe of his whole school ; Hermes is he of whom alone Helius is afraid; Hermes is he to whom alone Advolans submits ; Hermes is skilled in conquering without a blow ; Hermes is his own body of reserve ; ^ Hermes makes the fortunes of the letters of seats ; Hermes is the object of care and anxiety to the actresses 5 Hermes walks proudly with the warlike spear; Hermes threatens with Neptune's trident; Hermes is terrible with the helmet shading the face ; Hermes is the glory of Mars in every way ; Hermes is everything in himself, and thrice a man.^ Hermes, the martial glory of the age, Skilful in all the combats of the stage ; Hermes, master of fence, and fencer too ; The cock and terror of the sword-men's crew ; Hermes, whom Helius fears, but fears alone, Advolans yields to, yet to him but one ; Hermes, that knows to conquer without blows, The second to himself against all foes ; Hermes, the stage's mint and endless gain, The love and strife of all their female train ; Hermes, that proudly shakes the warlike spear, And fiercely threat'ning does the trident bear; Hermes, when casked for the blindfold fight, When moped and drooping seems, does then afiright ; Hermes engrosses all men's gifts in one, And Trismegistus' name deserves alone. Anon. 1695. XXV. ON CHJilRESTEATTJS, A KNIGHT IN REDUCED CIRCtTMSTANCES. " You have not four hundred thousand sesterces, Chaeres- tratus ; rise, Leitus ^ is coming ; quick ; away with you ; run, hide yourself." Does any one call him back, and restore ' Other gladiators -were succeeded by fresh ones, when they were tired ; Hermes was never tired. 2 In allusion to Hermes Trismegistus. This Hermes is as great in the arena as the other was in science. ^ See Ep. 8. BOOK v.] EPIGRAMS. 235 him to the seat he is leaving ? Does any patron offer him a share of his lordly riches ? Is there such person whose name we may commit in verse to fame and the applause of the people. Where is he, who does not wish to sink in obscurity to the waters of Styx ? Would not such ge- nerosity, I ask, be better than to sprinkle the stage with a rufous cloud,^ and to be drenched with a shower of saf- fron-water ? Or than to spend four hundred thousand ses- terces upon a horse which will not appreciate it ; or that the nose of Scorpus ^ may glisten everywhere in gold ? O rich man, rich to no purpose, and faithless to thy friend, dost thou read and approve these verses ? What glory dost thou Mlow to escape thee ! Wanting a knight's estate, you want the style ; The hctor comes : " Stand up, void, stay a while." Does any the degraded knight call back ? O noble deed ! Is any friend not slack Out of vast wealth his title to restore, Not lost by any vice, but being poor ? His gen'rous name we will commit to verse, Which all succeeding ages shall rehearse ! Who 's thus resolved his better part to save. And not descend entire into the grave ? And were 't not nobler so great wealth bestow. Than on a vain, ambitious, public show ? On brass unfeeling statues it expend, Although the artifice the charge commend ? O rich in vain ! O falsely seeming wise ! Who read, approve, and yet true fame despise. Anon. 1695. XXVI. TO CORDUS. If in calling you lately, Cordus, in one of my jocose effu- sions, the alpha of Cloaks, the expression happened to move your indignation, you may call me in return the beta of Togas.^ That Alpha I dubb'd thee, proud Cordus, of cloaks, When late I behight thee a prince in my jokes, ^ The stage and theatre used to be sprinkled with saffron. See De Spectac. Ep. 3. "^ A charioteer. 3 See B. ii. Ep. 57. The words in the original are alpha pcenulatorum and beta togatorum. The pmnula seems to have been worn chiefly by the upper class of people ; the togati denotes those who attended on their patrons as clients. 236 My freedom perchance has attracted thy frowns : If so, thou may'st dub me the Beta of gowns. Elphinston. XXVII. TO A KNIGHT BY BIRTH, DEriCIENT IN" THE rORTUNE REQUIRED BY LAW. You have, I admit, a knight's intelligence, education, manners, and birth ; your other qualities you have in com- mon with the multitude.^ The fourteen rows of seats ^ are not of so much consequence to you, that you should seat your- self there to grow pale at the sight of Oceanus.^ For garb, for parts, all thee would noble rate, If thou plebeian were 't not in estate. To sit 'mongst knights 't is not a grace so high, To make thee pale, whene'er the lictor's nigh. Anon. 1695. XXVIII. TO ATJLTJS. By no excellence of character, Aulus, could you induce Mamercus to think or speak well of you, even though you sur- passed the two Curtii in piety, the Nervse in inoffensiveness, the Husones in courtesy, the Maori in probity, the Maurici in equity, the Eeguli in eloquence, the Pauli in wit. Mamer- cus gnaws everything with his foul teeth. Perhaps you think him envious ; I may think him, whom no one can please, a wretch. Mamercus' good conceit or word to gain, The best endeavours, Aulus, are in vain. Excel the Curii in a pious fame, 'Bove Nerva, Rufus, get a courteous name, In justice Macrus, Mauricus outdo ; Renowned Regulus and Paulus too For mirth and eloquence : yet all he bites With canker' d teeth, and to asperse delights. You judge, perhaps, that envy's his disease ; — I think unhappiness, whom none does please. Anon, 1695. To the best character he can't afford One favourable thought or civil word. Could you a man pious as Cranmer find, Humble as Tillotson, as Hough resign'd ; 1 You are deficient, like them, in the fortune requisite for a knight. 2 See Ep. 23. 3 See Ep. 23. As you have not the required pecuniary qualification, you will not take a seat on any of those benches, lest Oceanus should question your title to it. I I BOOK v.] EPIGEAMS. 237 Benevolent as Berkeley, were there one ; Upright as Holt, polite as Addison ; Could one in eloquence with Somers vie ; Had Dorset's wit, or Pelham's probity ; Or could to one all these endowments fall, Still would he snarl, traduce, and censure all. Seems he to you satirical at worst ? I think that man, whom none can please, is cursed. Hay. XXIX. TO GELLIA. Whienever you send me a hare, Glellia, you say, "Marcus, you will be handsome for seven days." ^ If you are not joking, my darling, and if what you say is true, you, Grellia, have never eaten hare. When thou present'st me, Gellia, with a hare, Marcus, thou say'st, 't will make thee seven days fair. If hare be such a beautifying meat, Thou ne'er of one in all thy life didst eat. Anon. 1695. XXX. TO VAEKO, WITH A PEE SENT OP THE ArTHOS's WOEKS. Varro, whom the tragic muse of Sophocles would not re- fuse to recognise, and who are not less admirable in Calabrian lays, put aside your work, and let not the scene of the elo- quent Catullus ^ detain you, or Elegy with her graceful locks. But read these verses, which are not to be despised in smoky December, and are accordingly sent to you in that month ; sent to you in that month ; unless perchance you think it fitter and more agreeable, Varro, to lose nuts at the Satur- nalia.^ Varro, whom envy must allow A soul of Sophoclean fire ! Whom coy Calabria deigns t' avow The lord of her exalted lyre ! Defer each talk : nor let the scene Of magical Catullus stay Thine eyes ; or elegy serene, With tresses soft, in trim array. The produce of December's smoke. Thou mayst (O strange ! ) superior choose ; Unless it seem the higher joke. With Saturn's self thy nuts to lose. JElphinston. ^ According to a superstitious notion. See Plin. H. N. xxviii. 19. 2 Supposed to be a writer of farces, mentioned by Juvenal, Sat. viii. 3 To play for nuts was a common amusement at the Saturnalia. 238 maetial's :i. ON A SHOW OF BOYS SPOETIN& WITH SULLS. See with what hardihood yon troop of children spring upon the quiet bulls, and how the gentle animals delight in their burdens. One hangs upon the tips of the horns ; another runs at pleasure along the back, and brandishes his arms over the whole body. But their savageness is un- aroused and at rest ; the arena would not be safer ; a plane surface might even be more dangerous. Nor do the gestures of the children betray any trepidation; but each of them appears sure of gaining the victory, and each of the bulls seems to be anxious not to prevent it. See how th' advent'rous boys insult secure, WhUe the nuld bulls then- weight and sport endure : One hangs upon a horn, while others run O'er theh broad backs, skhmish, assault, and shun Each other's blows : the bulls, as frozen, stand ; Combat they could not firmer on the land. The children strive for th' palm, without all fear ; The bulls, alone, soHcitous appear. Anon. 1695. XXXIT. TO FAUSTINTJS. Crispus, by his last will, Paustinus, did not give a farthing to his wife. To whom then did he give it ? To himself.^ Crispus by will no doit of all his pelf Gave to his wife : whom then ? even to himself. Fletcher. Crispus one doit of 's wealth to none did leave. "What came of 't, then ? Who did his land receive ? AHve, to 's belly he did all bequeath. Anon. 1695. XXXIII. TO A LAWTEE. A certain lawyer is said to carp at my verses. I do not know who he is. If I find out, lawyer, woe to you ! A lawver's said, unknown, my book to flout, But woe be to thee, if I find thee out ! Fletcher. XXXIY. A^ EPITAPH ON EROTION, WHO DIED AT NEAELT SIX TEAES OLD, AETEE HEE PAEENTS. To thee, O Pronto my father, and to thee, O rioccilla ^ my 1 He had squandered it all in luxury before his death. 2 The Latin is, Ha7ie tihi Fronto pater, genitrix Floccilla, puellam, which leave the sense ambiguous. See Smith's Diet, of Gr. and Rom. Biogr. art. Martialis. ■BOOK T.] EPIGRAMS. 239 motlier, I commend this child, the little Erotion, my joy and my delight, that she may not be terrified at the dark shades and at the monstrous mouth of the dog of Tartarus. She would just have passed the cold of a sixth winter, had she lived but six days longer. Between protectors so venerable may she sport and play, and with lisping speech babble my name. Let no rude turf cover her tender bones, and press not heavy on her, earth ; she pressed but lightly on thee. Ye parents Fronto and Floccilla here, To you I do commend my girl, my dear, Lest pale Erotion tremble at the shades, And the foul dog of hell's prodigious heads. Her age fulfilling just six winters was. Had she but known so many days to pass. 'Mongst you, old patrons, may she sport and play, And with her lisping tongue my name oft say. May the smooth turf her soft bones hide, and be, O earth, as hght to her as she to thee ! Fletcher. XXXY. 02T EU GLIDES, A PRETENDED KNIGHT, BETEATED BY DEOPPIKG HIS ElEY. While Euclides, clad in purple robes, was exclaiming that his income from each of his farms at Patras was two hundred thousand sesterces, and from his property near Corinth still more, and while he was tracing down his long pedigree from the beautiful Leda, and resisting Leitus, who was trying to make him leave his seat,^ suddenly there dropped from the toga of this knight, so proud, so noble, so rich^ a large key. Never, Eabullus, was a key a worse friend. ^ While Euclid, clad in purple, loud did brawl, And near together by the ears did fall With Leitus, bidding him his seat to leave, Protesting proudly, that he did receive Two thousand yearly patrimonial rent, And more, which his Corinthian manor sent ; Produced an ancient goodly pedigree, Derived from Leda, by which all might see He was in truth a knight, rich, potent, great ; A huge foul key, the badge of slaves, i' th' heat » He had seated himself in the seats of the knights. See Ep. 8 and 14. 2 The key showed that he was a slave ; as it was the office of every slave to carry the key of that department of the household of which he had the charge. 240 maetial's Unfortunately from his bosom fell. Did y' e'er of such a spiteful key hear teU? Anon. 1695,, XXXVI. TO rATJSTIKUS. A certain individual, Faustinus, whom I had praised in a book of mine, affects not to know the fact, as though he owed me nothing ; he has deceived me.^ Sim, whom I 've prais'd in verse, ignores the feat, UnwilHng to be grateful. — Sim 's a cheat. W. S. B. XXXVII. ON THE T0U:N"G EEOTIOIf. Child, more sweet to me than the song of aged swans, more tender than a lamb of Phalantine Gralsesus,^ more delicate than a shell of the Lucrine lake ; thou to whom no one could prefer the pearls of the Indian Ocean, or the newly polished tooth of the Indian elephant, or the newly fallen snow, or the untouched lily ; whose hair surpassed the fleece of the Spanish flock, the knotted tresses of the dwellers on the E-hine, and the golden-coloured field-mouse ; ^ whose breath was redolent with odours which rivalled the rose-beds of Psestum, or the new honey of Attic combs, or amber just rubbed in the hand ; compared to whom the peacock was ugly, the squirrel unattractive, the phoenix a common object ; Erotion, thy funeral pyre is yet warm. The cruel laAv of the inexorable Pates has carried thee off", my love, my delight, my plaything, in thy sixth winter yet incomplete. Yet my friend Paetus forbids me to be sad, although he smites his own breast and tears his hair equally with myself "Are you not ashamed (says he) to bewail the death of a little slave? I have buried a wife, — a wife distinguished, haughty, noble, rich, and yet am alive." A¥hat fortitude can be greater than that of my friend Paetus ? — He inherits (by the death of his wife) twenty millions of sesterces, and yet can live. The girl that was to ear and sight More soft of tone, of skin more white, Than plumaged swans, that yield in death The sweetest murmur of their breath ; Smooth as Galaesus' soft-fleeced flocks ; Dainty as shells on Lucrine rocks ; ^ By making me no return. 2 A river near Tarentum, -vvhich was founded by Phalantus. See B. ii. Ep. 43. ^ Her hair was auburn. I BOOK, v.] EPieHAMS, 241 As Red-sea pearls ; bright ivory's glow ; Unsullied lilies ; virgin snow ; ^Vhose locks were tipp'd with ruddy gold, Like wool that clothes the Bsetic fold ; Like braided hair of girls of Rhine ; As tawny field-mouse sleek and fine ; Whose vermeil mouth breathed Psestum's rose, Or balm fresh honey-combs disclose ; Or amber yielding odour sweet From the chafing hand's soft heat ; By whom the peacock was not fair ; Nor squirrels, pets ; nor phcenix, rare : Erotion crumbles in her urn ; Warm from the pile her ashes burn : Ere yet had closed her sixteenth year, The Fates accursed have spread her bier ; And with her all I doated on, My loves, my joys, my sports, are gone. Yet Psetus, who, like me distress'd. Is fain to beat his mourning breast. And tear his hair beside a grave, Asks, " Blush you not to mourn a slave ? I mourn a high, rich, noble wife ; And yet I bear my lot of life." Thy fortitude exceeds all bounds : Thou hast two hundred thousand pounds : Thou bear'st, 't is true, thy lot of life ; Thou bear'st the jointure of thy wife. Elton. XXXVIII. TO SEXTUS, OS CALLIODOEUS, WHOSE PEOPERTT WITH THAT OF HIS BROTHEE AMOUNTED TOGETHER TO THE rOETUNE OE A KlSri&HT. Calliodorus, friend Sextus, possesses (who does not know it ?) the fortune of a knight ; bat Calliodorus has also a brother. He who divides four hundred thousand sesterces would halve a fig. Do you think that two men can sit on one horse ? What want you with a brother, a troublesome Pollux ? if you had not this Pollux, you would be a Castor.^ While you are one, you require, Calliodorus, two seats. You are com- mitting a solecism, Calliodorus. Else, or else imitate the sons of Leda, and, as you cannot sit along with your brother, Calliodorus, occupy the seat by turns. ' You would have been a complete and acknowledged knigiit. Castor gaudet equis, &c. Hor. A. P. 242 Martial's Calliodor has a knight's estate, all know, The mischief is, he has a brother too. Who claims one half, the fig in twain does spHt, And on one horse two knights are fain to sit. How can thy brother's aim and thine agree ? No Pollux hadst thou, thou might' st Castor be ; But being one, as two if you take place, A solecism 's plainly in the case. Leda's kind offspring imitate you may, Sit knights by turns, not both on the same day. Anon. 1695. XXXIX. TO CHAEINUS. Thirty times in this one year, Charinus, while you have been arranging to make your will, have I sent you cheese- cakes dripping with Hyblsean thyme. I am ruined : have pity on me at length, Charinus. Make your will less often, or do that once for all, for which your cough is ever falsely lead- ing us to hope. I have emptied my coffers and my purse. Had I been richer than Croesus, Charinus, I should become poorer than Irus, if you so frequently devoured my poor repast. 'Bove thirty wills a year thou dost subscribe, Oft'ner I send thee junkets for a bribe : I am exhaust, Charinus, pity me ; The bottom of the chest and purse I see. Delude no more, make thy will once and die, To show thy cough was real, not a lie. Though I in wealth like Crcesus did abound. Than Irus I should yet be poorer found, Should'st thou, I say not tarts, daily devour. But of vile beans and pompions such apow'r. Anon. 1G95. XL. TO AETEMIDOEUS, UNSUCCESSrULLT SACEiriCIIfO TO THE GEACES. You have painted Venus, Artemidorus, while Minerva is the object of your veneration, and do you wonder that your work has not given pleasure ? Dost thou admire, when Pallas is thy saint, That but a sorry Venus thou dost paint ? When rigid virtue has thy study been, For wanton verse wouldst thou the laurel win ? Anon. 1695. % BOOK Y.] EPIGRAMS. 243 XLI. TO DIDTMUS. Though you are more enervated than a languid eunuch, and weaker than the Celsenean minion of the mother of the gods, to whom the mutilated priests of that inspiring goddess howl, you prate of theatres, and rows of seats, and edicts,^ and purple robes, and Ides^ and buckles,^ and equestrian incomes ; and, with a hand polished with pumice-stone, point out the poor. I shall see, Didymus, whether you are en- titled to sit on the benches allotted to the knights ; you cer- tainly are not to sit on those of the married men. You, than emasculate, still less a man ; Soft, as the Celenean boy, we scan ; Whom the mad mother's maimlings mourn the most • Of theatres, degrees, and laws you boast ; Of floAving robes, and brilliant broaches tell, Of Ides renown'd and valuations fell : And for yon poor, your wealth to ascertain. Your pumiced hand displays the due disdain. If, 'mid the knights, your seat we soon shall see ; 'Mid husbands, Didymus, you cannot be. El^jhinstoti. XLII. WHAT IS GIYEI^ TO ERIENDS IS NOT LOST. A cunning thief may burst open your coffers, and steal your coin ; an impious fire may lay waste your ancestral home ; your debtor may refuse you both principal and interest ; your corn-field may prove barren, and not repay the seed you have scattered upon it ; a crafty mistress may rob your steward ; the waves may ingulf your ships laden with mer- chandise. But what is bestowed on your friends is beyond the reach of fortune ; the riches you give away are the only riches you will possess for ever. Thieves may break locks, and with your cash retire ; Your ancient seat may be consumed by fire : Debtors refuse to pay you what they owe ; Or your ungrateful field the seed you sow ; You may be plunder'd by a jilting whore ; Your ships may sink at sea with all their store : Who gives to friends, so much from fate secures ; That is the only wealth for ever yours. Ilay. 1 Alluding to the edict of Domitian about the seats of the knights. Ep. 8. "^ The Ides of July, when the knights rode in procession. ^ Buckles for the robe worn by the knights. R 2 244 maetial's Your slave will with your gold abscond, The fire your home lay low, Your debtor will disown his bond. Your farm no crops bestow : Your steward a mistress frail shall cheat ; Your freighted ship the storms will beat ; That only from mischance you '11 save, WTiich to your friends is given ; The only wealth you '11 always have Is that you 've lent to heaven. English Journal of Education, Jan. 1856. XLIII. ON THAIS KS-D L^CAI«"IA. Thais has black, Laecania white teeth ; what is the reason ? Thais has her own, Lsecania bought ones. Thais her teeth are black and nought, Lecania's white are grown : But what 's the reason ? these are bought, The other wears her own. Fletcher. Nell's teeth are white ; but Betty's teeth are brown : Hemmet's Nell's are ; but Betty's are her own. Hay. Kate's teeth are black ; white lately Bell's are grown : Bell buys her teeth, and Kate still keeps her own. Hodgson. XLiy. TO DEIfTO. How has it come about, I ask, how has it so suddenly come about, Dento, that though I have asked you to dinner four times, you have (who would believe it ?) constantly pre- sumed to refuse me ? Ton not only avoid looking back when I call, but you flee from me as I follow you, — me whom you so lately used to hunt for at the baths, at the theatres, and at every place of resort ? The reason is, that you have been captivated by a more delicate table, and that a richer kitchen has attracted you like a dog. But very soon, when your rich host shall have found you out, and left you in disgust, you \\i\\ come back to the bones of your old dinner with me. ^ATiat is the cause ? what new thing 's fallen out ? That Dento, oft invited, is so stout, (Beyond belief) my table to refuse ? He, who through all the porticos did use, The baths, the theatres, to hunt me out, Flies, when I call, and will not turn about. BOOK Y.] EPIGRAMS. 245 The myst'ry is, he 'as found a fatter treat ; Like dogs, is drawn by strongest scent of meat. But soon as known, the great he will disgust ; Then for my scraps he '11 leap, and for a crust. Anon. 1695. XLT. TO BASSA. You say, Bassa, that you are beautiful ; you say that you are a maiden. She who is not so, Bassa, is generally ready to say that she is. Thou mak'st thee fair, and young bidd'st us suppose. To do and say what is not, Bassa knows. Elphinston. XLYI. TO DIADUMENTJS.l As I dislike all kisses, except those which I have secured with a struggle, and as your anger, Diadumenus, pleases me more than your face, I often flog you that I may often have to solicit you. The result is, that you neither fear me nor love me. While ev'ry joy I scorn, but that I snatch ; And me thy fury, more than features, catch ; I often condescend to ask consent : That thou nor fear'st nor lovest me, proves the event. JElphinston. XLYII. OlS" PHILO. Philo swears that he has never dined at home, and it is so ; he does not dine at all, except when invited out. Thou say'st, thou never supp'st at home. 'Tis right, That is, thou fast'st, when none does thee invite. Anon. 1695. Ned swears he never sups at home : then Ned, Not supping out, goes supperless to bed. Hay. Jack boasts he never dines at home. With reason, too, no doubt : In truth, Jack never dines at all. Unless invited out. Anon. XLYTIT. ON E2TCOLPIIS.2 To what does not love compel us ? Encolpus has shorn his locks, against the wish of his master, who did not even for- bid him. Pudens permitted, though lamenting it. Just so did the father, foreboding evil, give up the reins to the rash Phaeton. Just so did the stolen Hylas, and the discovered 1 B. iii. Ep. 65. 2 See B. i. Ep. 32. 24G maetial's Achilles, part with their locks, the latter gladly,' though to the grief of his mother. But may thy beard be in no haste to come, or presume on thy shorn hair ; but may it be late in appearing, in return for so great a sacrifice. Whither will not all-duteous love compel ! His vow obtain'd, Encolpus' honours fell. While thus the thankful boy religion kept, Though not forbidding, feeling Pudens wept. So Phoebus yielded erst th' willing rein To the rash youth, whom he forbade in vain. So ravish'd Hylas laid his glory down : So caught Achilles kindled for renown. When he denied his graceful locks to flow. And triumph'd impious in a mother's w^oe. But make no haste, nor trust the votive hair ; And late, thou beard, for such a boon repair. Elphinston % XLIX. TO LABIEISTTIS, PARTIALLY BALD. When I happened to see you a while ago, Labienus, sitting alone, I thought you were three persons. The number of the divisions of your bald head deceived me. Ton have on each side locks of hair, which might grace even a youth. In the middle, your head is bare, and not a single hair is to be remarked in the whole of that extensive area. This illusion was of advantage to you in December, when the emperor distri- buted the presents of the Saturnalia ; you returned home with three baskets of provisions. I fancy that Greryon must have resembled you. Avoid, I advise you, the portico of Philippus ; if Hercules sees you, it is all over with you.^ When, Labiene, by chance I thee did see Sitting alone, I thought thou hadst been three. The number of thy baldness me deceived, For here and there thy hairs I then retrieved, Which a boy's head will hardly well become ; Upon thy crown lies a large vacant room, A floor wherein no hair 's observed to be. Yet this December's error yields to thee, That when the emp'ror keeps his solemn day, Thou carry'st three shares of his alms away. Geryon, I suppose, was such a one : But when thou seest Philippus' porch, begone ; If Hercules shall spy thee, th' art undone. Fletcher. ^ Hercules, whose statue is in the portico of Phihppus, will take you for the three-headed Geryon. BOOE v.] EPIGRAMS. ' 247 I saw thee lately sitting all alone, And that thou hadst been three I durst have sworn, Thy seeming num'rous heads so me deceived, Thy pate here lock'd, and there of hair bereaved ; Not with love-locks, which beauteous boys do wear, But some parts tufted were, much broader bare. Thy various baldness stood thee late in stead, When Csesar doled the people meat and bread ; For thou bor'st home what did belong to three : The fam'd Geryon, sure, was such as thee. Philippus' portico I advise thee fly : If Hercules spy thee, thou art sure to die. Anon. 1695. L. TO ACHEOPINTJS. Whenever I dine at home, Charopinus, and do not invite you, your anger forthwith exceeds all bounds ; you are ready to run me through with a drawn sword, if you discover that my kitchen fire has been lighted without a view to your en- tertainment. What then, shall I not be allowed for once to defraud you of a dinner ? Nothing is more shameless, Cha- ropinus, than that throat of yours. Cease at length, I pray you, to watch my kitchen, and allow my hearth sometimes to disappoint you. If 1 e'er sup at home, and not chance to invite. My poor Charopine fills, not with food, but with spite. Nay, his rage draws the whinyard to whip my lungs through, When he learns that my hearth dared to heat without you. Is my ev'ry such theft an infringement of law ? Surely nought is more impudent than such a maw. Cease, I pray, to attend to my culinar chimes ; And let my cunning cook put upon you sometimes. Elphinston. LI. TO Burns, ON A PRETENDED LAWYER. That person yonder, who has his left arm heavily laden with manuscripts, who is closely pressed by a beardless band of short-hand writers, who fixes a grave look on papers and letters, which people bring him from various quarters, as- suming a demeanour like that of Cato, or Cicero, or Brutus, that person, I say, E-ufus, even should torture try to compel him, cannot properly utter " good morning," either in Latin or in G-reek. If you think I am joking, let us go and address him. 248 Martial's He whose left arm loaden with books you see, And throng'd with busy clerks to that degree, "Whose face composed attentively does hear Causes and suits pour'd in at either ear, Most like a Cato, TuUy, or a Brute, If put upon the rack, could not salute In Latin, Ave, or Xaipe in the Greek : And, if thou doubt the truth, let 's to him speak. Anon. 1695. LII. TO POSTUMTJS. Toul' services to me I remember, and shall never forget. Why then am I silent about them, Postumus ? Because you ■ yourself talk of them. Whenever I begin to speak to any one » i of your favours, he immediately exclaims, " He has told me of them himself." There are certain things which cannot be weU done by two people ; one is enough in this case. If you wish me to speak, keep silence yourself. Believe me, Postumus, gifts, however great, are deprived of their value by garrulity on the part of the donor. What thou conferr'st on me I do Remember, and shall think on too. Why therefore do I hold my tongue ? Cause, Posthumus, thou ne'er hast done. As often as I go to treat Of these thy gifts to them I meet, 'T is presently repKed, " Forbear, He whisper'd it into my ear." Two men some things cannot do well : One person may suffice to tell, And do this work : if it may please That I shall speak, then hold thy peace. For prithee, Postumus, believe, Though that thy gifts are great to give All thanks must perish, and are lost, When authors their own actions boast. Fletcher. Your favours to me I remember weU ; But do not mention them ; because you tell. Whenever I begin, I 'm answer' d straight, " I heard from his own mouth what you relate." Two ill become the business but of one ; Be you but silent, I will speak alone. Great are your gifts ; but when proclaim'd around, The obligation dies upon the sound. Hay. BOOK v.] EPTGEAMS. 249 To John I owed great obligation, But John, unhappily, thought fit To publish it to all the nation : Sure John and I are more than quit. Prior. LTIl. TO BA.SSUS, A WEITEK OF TEAGEDIES. "Why, my good sir, do you Trrite about the Colchian queen ? why about Thyestes ? what have you to do, Bassus, with JN'iobe, or Andromache ? The fittest subject for your pen is Deucalion, or, if he does not please you, Phaeton J My Bassus, why ? why dost thou write Thyestes' feast ? Medea's flight ? What hast to do with Niobe ? Or Troy's remains, xlndromache ? Deucalion's feat 's a theme more fit, Or Phaethon's, to share thy wit. Fletcher. Why dost thou, Bassus, of Thyestes write ? Niobe's tears, or of Medea's flight ? A fitter subject of thy verse by far, Phaethon's burning, or the Deluge, were. Anon. 1695. LIY. OS A EHETOEICIAlf. My friend, the rhetorician, has become an improvisatore ; he had not written down Calpurnius's name, yet he saluted him correctly .2 Extemporist thou 'rt now, and of renown, Calpurnius canst salute, not 'WTiting down. Anon. 1695. LV. ON THE IMAGE OP AN EAGLE CAEETING JTJPITEE. Tell me whom thou art carrying, queen of birds. " The Thunderer." "Why does he carry no thunderbolts in his grasp ? " He is in love." Por whom is he warmed with passion ? " Por a youth." "Why dost thou, with thy mouth open, look round so mildly on Jupiter ? " I am speaking to him of Ganymede." Say, queen of birds, whom hast thou there ? " The mighty thunderer I bear." I see no bolts ; and that seems odd. "No bolts become a loving god." The object what? "A beauteous boy: This Ganjmede is all his joy." Elphinston. ^ Intimating that his tragedies had better be thrown into the water or the fire. a See Ep. 22. 250 maetial's LYI. TO LUPUS. To what master to intrust your son, Lupus, has been an anxious object of consideration with you for some time. Avoid, I advise you, all the grammarians and rhetoricians ; let him have nothing to do with the books of Cicero or Virgil ; let him leave Tutilius ' to his fame. If he makes verses, give him no encouragement to be a poet ; if he wishes to study lucrative arts, make him learn to play on the guitar or flute. If he seems to be of a dull disposition, make him an auctioneer or an architect. Whene'er I meet you, still you cry, « What shall I do with Bob my boy ? " Since this affair you'd have me treat on, Ne'er send the lad to Paul's or Eton. The Muses let him not confide in, But leave those jilts to fate or Dryden. If with damn'd rhimes he racks his wits. Send him to Mevis or St Kit's. Would you with wealth his pockets store well? Teach him to pimp or bolt a door well : If he 'as a head not worth a stiver. Make him a curate or hog-driver. Tom Brown. You on one great concern your thoughts employ ; Still asking how to educate your boy. First, carefully avoid, if you are wise, All Greek and Latin masters, I advise. Let him both Cicero and Virgil shun, Unless you wish him to be quite undone. Then, of a lad you never can have hope, Who verses makes, or reads a line in Pope. If he in gainful business would engage, Teach him to sing or play upon the stage. Or if he is too dull to be a player. Teach him to job, and he may die a mayor. Hay. LYII. TO CINNA. When I call you "My lord," do not be vain, Cinna. I often return your slave's salutation in a similar way. When " Sir" I call thee, be not pleased ; for know, Cinna, I often call thy servant so. Wright. * A rhetorician, whose daughter Quintilian married. BOOK T.J EPIGEAMS. 251 On a newly made Baronet. Though I do " Sir " thee, be not vain, I pray : I " Sir " my monkey Jacko every day. Cyrus Redding. N. M. Mag., 1828. LVIII. TO POSTTJMUS. You tell me, Postumus, that you will live to-morrow ; you always say to-morrow, Postumus. Tell me, Postumus, when will that to-morrow arrive ? How far is that to-morrow off? Where is it ? or where is it to be found ? Is it hidden among the Parthians and Armenians ? That to-morrow al- ready counts up as many years as those of Priam or Nestor. For how much, tell me, may that to-morrow be bought ? You will live to-morrow : even to-day it is too late to begin to live. He is the wise man, Postumus, who lived yesterday. To-morrow, Posthumus, to-morrow still Thou sayst, thou'lt live : but, Posthumus, when will That morrow come ? how far ? where to be found ? Is 't in the Parthian or Armenian ground ? Or can that morrow Priam's age out-boast ? Or Nestor's ? tell what will that morrow cost ? Thou 'It live to-morrow ? — this day's life 's too late: He 's wise that lived before the present date. Fletcher. To-morrow you will live, you always cry ; In what fair country does this morrow lie, That 't is so mighty long ere it arrive ? Beyond the Indies does this morrow live ? 'T is so far-fetch'd, this morrow, that I fear 'T will be both very old and very dear. " To-morrow I will live," the fool does say ; To-day itself 's too late, — the wise lived yesterday. Cowley. " To-morrow, and to-morrow," still you say, " To-morrow I '11 reform, but live to-day." When will to-morrow come ? or where be found ? Lurks it on Indian or Peruvian ground ? 'T is now, alas ! three generations old, And at no price is that to-morrow sold. For look ! the hour of sale has pass'd away : He who is wise has purchased yesterday. Hodgson. LIX. TO STELLA. In forbearing to send you either silver or gold, eloquent Stella, I have acted for your interest. Whoever makes great 252 presents, wishes great presents to be made him in return. By my present of earthenware vases you will be released from such an obligation. That I nor gold nor silver to tnee send, I this forbear, for thy sake, learned friend. Who gives great gifts, expects great gifts again ; My cheap ones to return will cause no pain. Anon. 1695. LX. TO A DETEACTOE. Although you bark at me for ever and ever, and weary me with your shameless invectives, I am determined to persist in denying you that fame which you have been so long seeking, namely, that you, such as you are, may be read of in my works throughout the whole world. Por why should any one know that you ever existed? You must perish unknown, wretched man ; it must be so. Still there will not be want- ing in this town perhaps one or two, or three or four, who may like to gnaw a dog's hide. Tor myself, I keep my hands away from such corruption. Snarl on ; you never shall your purpose gain : Wliat long you seek, you still shall seek in vain, Who aim at any, rather than no fame : I wiU not, to abuse you, use your name. It never in my writings shall be seen, Or the world know that such a wretch hath been. Try to make others angry when you bellow, I scorn to meddle with a dirty fellow. Hay. LXI. TO MAEIAFTJS. Who is that curly-pated fellow, who is always at the side of your wife, Marianus ? Who is that curly-pated fellow ? He who is always whispering some soft nothing into my lady's gentle ear, and pressing her chair with his right elbow ? He on all of whose fingers is displayed the light sum- mer ring, and whose legs are disfigured by not even a single hair ? Do you give me no answer ? " He attends," say you, "to my wife's affairs." Truly he is a trustworthy gentle- man, and looks like a man of business, — one who bears the character of agent in his very face ; the Chian Aufidius ^ will not be more energetic than he. Oh how well, Marianus, you deserve a slap from Latinus ! I imagine you will be 1 A licentious character of that day, mentioned by Juvenal, ix. 25. BOOK v.] EPIGRAMS. ' 253 the successor of Panniculus.^ He attends to your wife's aft'airs ! Does that curly-pated fellow attend to any affairs ? Yes, he attends, not to your wife's affairs, but yours. Who is that beau ? pray tell me, for you know, Still near your wife ? pray tell me, who 's that iDeau, Still pouring nonsense in her glowing ear ; With his right elbow leaning on her chair; Who on his hand the sparkling brilliant wears — His hand almost as soft and white as hers? "That man is, though he now so gay appears, A lawyer who transacts my wife's affairs." A lawyer that ! I vow, you make me stare ! Surely Lord Foppington 's turn'd practiser. A lawyer that ! you are a precious 'squire, Fit for a Gomez in the Spanish Fryar ! Your wife's affairs ! believe me, one so fine Transacts not her affairs, so much as thine. Hay. LXII. TO HIS GUESTS, OEFERING THEM HIS HOUSE AND GROUNDS UNFURNISHED. You may remain in my gardens, my guests, as long as you please, if yoa can submit to lie upon the bare ground, or if plenty of furniture is brought in for your use along with you ; for as to mine, it has already suffered sufficiently from former guests. Not one cushion, even emptied of its feathers, remains to cover my broken couches, the sacking of which lies rotting with the cords all severed. Let us share the premises, however, between us. I have bought the gardens ; that is the greater part : do you furnish them ; that is the less. Stay your owne time, and what my house affords Take as your owne ; so you can lye on boards, Or will bring with you your own furniture, For mine, o'er-worne, longer will not endure : Of quilts to my patch'd bedds I have no store, The bedd-cords broake, the ticks lie on the fioore : But if to live in common you think fitt, I 've bought the house ; do you then furnish it. Old MS. 16th Cent. LXIII. TO PONTICUS, A FOOLISH WRITER. "What do you think," say you, "Marcus, of my compo- ^ A clown, who played with Latinus as harlequin, or some similar character. See B. ii. Ep. 72. 234 martial' s sitions?" Such is the question which you often and anxiously put to me, Ponticus. I admire them, I am amazed, nothing is more perfect. Eegulus himself must bow to your superior genius. " Do you think so r " say you ; "then may Caesar, then may Capitoline Jove be propitious to you ! " Nay, may he be propitious to you rather ! Often you ask, solicitous as Bayes, That I would cast my eye upon your lays. I'm charm'd— astonish'd : nothing is so fine: 'T is Shakespear's sphit breathes in every line. "Think you so?" say you; "bless you for a true Critic, as well as friend." — And God bless you. Hay. LXIY. TO HIS SERYANTS. Eill double cups of Ealernian, Callistus ; dissolve into it, Alcimus, the summer snow.^ Let my hair drip richly with abundance of nard, and my temples be encircled with wreaths of roses. The Mausoleums, close at hand, bid us live, for they teach us that even gods ^ can die. You, boy, two measures of briske wine let flow, And you, pour on it summer cooleing snow ; Lett my moist haire with rich perfumes abound, With loades of rosy wreaths my temples crown'd : " Live now," our neighbouring stately tombes doe cry, " Since kings, you see (your petty gods), can dye. Old MS. I6th Cent. Boy ! let my cup with rosy wine o'erflow. Above the melting of the summer snow : . Let my wet hair with wasteful odour shine. And loads of roses round my temples twine : Tombs of the Csesars, your sad honours cry, "Live, little men, for lo ! the gods can die." Hodgson. Fill high the bowl with sparkling wine ; Cool the bright draught with summer snow. Amid my locks let odours flow ; Around my temples roses twine. See yon proud emblem of decay. Yon lordly pile that braves the sky ! * Snow preserved till summer, for the purpose of being dissolved in the wine to cool it. 2 The emperors, who desired to be worshipped as gods. I BOOK v.] EPIGEAMS. 255 It bids us live our little day, Teaching that gods themselves may die. Merivale. LXV. TO C^SAE. The subjugation of the Nemean lion and tbe Arcadian wild-boar, — and of the athlete of the Libyan plain, — the con- quest of the dread Eryx amid Sicilian dust, — the destruc- tion of Cacus the terror of the woods, who, with stealthy cunning used to draw oxen by their tails to his cave, — secured to Alcides, notwithstanding the opposition of his stepmother, a place in heaven among the stars. But how- small are such achievements, Csesar, compared to what are per- formed on thy arena ! There each new morning exhibits to us greater contests. How many monsters fall, more terrible than that of Nemea ! How many Maenalian boars does thy spear * stretch on the ground ! "Were the thrice-conquered Iberian shepherd, Greryou, to be restored to life, thou hast a champion, Caesar, that would conquer even him. And though the hydra of G-recian Lerna be often celebrated for the number of its heads, what is that monster compared to the crocodiles of the Nile ? Por such exploits, Augustus, the gods awarded early immortality to Alcides ; to thee they will award it late. While fain the envious stepdame would preclude The meed of merit, in a vengeful mood ; To Hercules gave heaven, in various lore, A Nemea's terror, and Arcadia's boar ; The chasten'd plaster of the Libyan school; Hot Eryx laid in dust Sicilian cool ; The forest's panic, all unknown till then, Who backward drew the heifers to his den What portion these, dread Caesar, of thy sand ? Superior combats does each morn command. What huger than the Nemean monster fall ! And what Menalians does thy spear appal ! The threefold fight of the Iberian swain, Returning, would renew a Geryon slain. Oft bids the Grecian Lerna swell the style : Yet what 's a hydra to the births of Nile ? Soon gave just gods Alcides heaven to see ; But late, Augustus, shall they welcome thee. Elphinstoii. ^ The spear of Carpopliorus, thy servant. See de Spectac. Ep. 15. 256 aiartial's LXVI. TO POiN^TILIAIfUS. Though I often salute you, you never salute me first ; I shall therefore, Pontilianus, salute you with an eternal fare- weU. Pontilian ne'er salutes till after me ; So his farewell shall everlasting be. Fletcher. I often bow ; your hat you never stir : So, once for all, your humble servant, sir. Hay. LXTII. O^ A SWALLOW. "When the Attic birds, after their custom, were seeking their winter retreats, one of them remained in her nest. The other birds, returning at the approach of spring, dis- covered the crime, and tore the deserter in pieces. Her punishment came late ; the guilty mother had deserved such a death, but it was at the time that she slaughtered Itys.^ "When the Athenian birds explored theh way To the blest climes that know no winter's day, One hapless twitt'rer, who disdain'd the rest, Outbraved the rigours in the fenceful nest : Till the clan, coming with the genial spring, As a deserter held the loit'ring thing. Thus late the guilty parent penance bore, Who whilom her own guiltless Itys tore. Elphinston. lxyiii. to lesbia, with a lock: of hair feom geema:nt. 1 send you this tress, Lesbia, from the northern regions, that you may know how much lighter your own is.^ Hair, from the clime where golden tresses grow, I sent, that Lesbia's locks might brighter glow. Elphinston. LXIX. OS MAEK AIs^TONT. O Antony, thou canst cast no reproach upon the Egyp- tian Pothinus,^ thou who didst more injury by the mur- ' Alluding to the fable of Progne, who tore in pieces her son Itys, and was afterwards changed into a swallow. 2 The courtesans at Rome, at that time, wore false light hair. Lesbia's was extravagantly light. 3 For you are as bad as he. He killed Pompey, you Cicero. See B. iii. Ep. 66. I BOOK T.] • EPTGEAMS. 257 der of Cicero, than by all your proscription lists. AVhy did you draw the sword, madman, against the mouth of Eome ? *Such a crime not even Catiline himself would have com- mitted. An impious soldier was corrupted by your accursed gold, and for so much money procured you the silence of a single tongue. But of what avail to you is the dearly-bought suppression of that sa "Who was driven to commit suicide by the satire of Archilochus, lo whom he had first engaged, and then refused, his daughter. 310 By tV genius of my prevailing fame, By thy ears, candid reader, and thy name, Which hold the place of deities to me. From all malignant envy I am free. Anon. 1695. XIII. ON LTC0EIS.2 Lycoris the brunette, having heard that the ivory of an antiquated tooth recovered its whiteness by the action of the sun at Tivoli, betook herself to its hills, sacred to Hercules. Hovsr great is the efficacy of the air of the lofty Tivoli ! In a short time she returned black. That an elephant's fang, dusk Lycoris had heard. On the Tiburtine hills ev'ry sallowness spum'd. To Alcides' famed heights her ambition transferr'd, EVry gale blew in vain : she all sable return'd. JElphinston. XIV. TO AULUS. A frightful misfortune, Aulus, has befallen a fair acquaint- ance of mine ; she has lost her pet, her delight ; not such as Lesbia, the mistress of the tender Catullus, bewailed, when she was bereaved of her amorous sparrow ; nor such as the dove, sung by my friend Stella, which lanthis lamented, and whose dark shade now flits in elysium. My fair one is not capti- vated by trifles, or objects of afi'ection such as those ; nor do such losses affect the heart of my mistress. She has lost a young friend numbering twice six years, whose powers had not yet reached maturity. What dire disaster gave, alas ! the knell To Delia's joy, I will my Aulus tell. Her playmate, and her darling, has she lost. Far other curse the lambent Lesbia cross' d, "V^Tien of her charmer's killing rogueries reft, Which just Catullus has immortal left. Other my Stella sang lanthis' sighs. For the dear dove that in Elysium flies. My minion ne'er was smit with shafts so mean : No trivial losses could dismay my queen. Him, who told years twice ten, does Delia mourn, Whose down was never mow'd, or youthful honours shorn. Elphinston. XV. TO ABGTNNUS.^ WTiat boy is this that retreats from the sparkling waters of 1 See B. iv. Ep. 62. ^ Compare Ep. 50. a i BOOK VII.] EPIGEAMS. 311 lanthis, and flees from tlie Naiad their mistress ? Is it Hylas ? Well is it that Hercules is honoured in this wood, and that he so closely watches these waters. Thou mayst minister at these fountains, Argynnus, in security ; the JSTymphs aylII do thee no harm ; .beware lest the guardian himself should wish to do so. What boy decline lanthis' waves I see, And court the Naiad-queen ? a Hylas he ? Hail, happy grove, that own'st Tirynthian care ! Hail, loving waters, that such guardian share ! Safe from the nymphs, the fount, Argynnus, tend : Nor aught, but from the patron, apprehend. Eljplunston. XVI. TO EE&ULTJS. I have not a farthing in the house ; one thing only re- mains for me to do, Eegulus, and that is, to sell the presents which I have received from you ; are you inclined to buy them ? I have no money, Regulus, at home. Only thy gifts to sell : wilt thou buy some ? Fletcher. XVII. TO THE LIBEAET OF JULITJS MAETIALIS. Library of a charming country retreat, whence the reader can see the neighbouring town, if, amid more serious poems, there be any room for the sportive Thalia, you may place even upon the lowest shelf these seven books which I send you corrected by the pen of their author. This correction gives them their value. And do thou, library of Julius Mar- tialis, to which I dedicate ' this little present, thou that wilt be celebrated and renowned over the whole globe, guard this earnest of my affection ! Thou lovely country Hbrar}-, Whence thy lord views the' city nigh, If, 'mongst his serious studys, place My wanton muse may find, and grace. To these sev'n books afibrd a roome. Though on the lowest shelf, which come Corrected by their authour's penn : For those blotts' sake esteeme them then. And thou, whose worth the world shall note, This little gift, which I devote ' The common reading dedicata is followed here, instead of delicata, which Schneidewin adopts. 312 maetial's To thee, preserve — pledge of the deare Friendship I to my Julius bcare. Old MS. \Qth Cent. XYIII. TO GALLA. Cum tibi sit facies, de qua nee foemina possit Dicere ; cum corpus nulla litura notet : Cur te tam rarus cupiat, repetatque fututor, Miraris ? vitium est non leve, G-alla, tibi. Accessi quoties ad opus, mistisque movemur Inguinibus : cunnus non tacet, ipsa taces. Di facerent ut tu loquereris, et ipse taceret. Offendor cunni garrulitate tui. Pedere te mallem : namque hoc nee inutile dicit Symmachus, et risum res movet ista simul. Quis ridere potest fatui poppysmata cunni r Cum sonat hie, cui non m-entula mensque cadit ? Die aliquid saltem, clamosoque obstrepe cunno : Et si adeo muta es, disce vel inde loqui. Avendo tu un volto, del quale ne pur una donna puo dime contro e nessun dilSetto marcando il tuo corpo : ti meravigli perche si di raro un' adultero ti brami, e ti ricerchi : tu, o Galla, hai un diffetto che non e lieve. Ogni volta che venni teco alle prese, e nei mis- chiati piaceri s'aggitiamo coi lumbi, tu taci, e '1 tuo c — no chiazza. Volessero i Dei che tu parlassi ed esso tacesse : io sono nauseato dalla chiacchiera del tuo c — no : amerei meglio che tu petassi : im- perocche Simaco dice che cio e giovevole, e nel tempo stesso muove il riso. Chi puo ridere ai poppismi d'un fattuo c — no ? quando costui romba, a chi non casca la mente, e la mentola ? di almeno qualche cosa, o serra il susurroso tuo c — no : e se non sei afFatto mutola, impara indi a parlare. Graglia. XIX. ON A rHAGMEKT OF THE SHIP ARGO. This fragment, which you think a common and useless piece of wood, was a portion of the first ship that ventured on un- known seas, a ship which neither the Cyanean rocks, so fer- tile in shipwrecks, nor the still more dangerous rage of the Scythian ocean, could formerly destroy. Time has overcome it; but, though it has yielded to years, this little plank is more sacred than an entire ship. This piece thou sees't of rotten, useless wood. Was the first ship that ever plough'd the flood : BOOK YII.] EPIGRAMS. 313 Which not the billows of Cyanean seas Of old could wreck, or Scythian worse than these. Age conquer'd it ; but in time's gulf thus drown'd, One plank 's more sacred than the vessel sound. A?ion. 1695. XX. ON SANTEA. No one is more pitiable, no one more gluttonous, than Santra, when he is invited and hurries off to a regular supper, to vp^hich he has fished for an invitation many days and nights : he asks three times for boar's neck, four times for the loin, and for the two hips and both shoulders of a hare nor does he blush at lying for a thrush, or filching even the livid beards of oysters. Sweet cheese-cakes stain his dirty napkin ; in which also potted grapes are wrapped, with a few pomegranates, the unsightly skin of an excavated sow's udder, moist figs, and shrivelled mushrooms. And when the napkin is bursting with a thousand thefts, he hides in the reeking fold of his dress gnawed fish-bones, and a turtle-dove deprived of its head. He thinks it not disgrace- ful, too, to gather up with greedy hand whatever the waiter and the dogs have left. Nor does solid booty alone satisfy his gluttony ; at his feet he fills a flagon with mingled wines. These things he carries home with him, up some two hundred steps ; and locks himself carefully in his garret and bars it; and the next day the rapacious fellow sells them. When Sanctra long had rioted in dreams, And fed his waking mind with future steams ; To the still panted, pray'd, pursued repast, Him the dear invitation bless'd at last. But oh ! poor Sanctra, wast thou bless'd or cursed, When on the gorgeous board thine eyeballs burst ? The kernels of the boar he thrice demands : The loin he four times hints he understands. To the hare's either hip his spirit springs : And flutters now to fly on both the wings. His soul he perjures for a glorious thrush: He beards the oysters, but he will not crush. With comfits next behold his napkin graced : In the same hoard the potted grapes are placed. Here a few grains of Punic apples lie ; And there a skin, just scoop'd from out a sty. 314 maetial's Nor is the blear-eyed fig herself forgot ; Nor here forgets the mushroom mash'd to rot. When the rack'd cloth, by many a hundred rents, Bewrays a thousand thefts, a thousand scents; The half-gnaw'd bones he fosters in his breast, Where not the headless dove disdains to rest. Nor does his dextrous hand abhor the theft Of the last offals that the dogs have left. But lo ! he fills, sufl&ced not thus to eat, W^ith mingled wine the flagon at his feet. When all ten- score of stairs he home has raised, And ev'ry pow'r, that lent him pow'r, has praised, His treasure he unlocks ; and, strange to tell ! Next morn he condescends — the whole to sell. Elphinston. XXI. ON THE AlSTNITERSAItT OF THE BIETH-DAT OP LTJCAN. This is the day which, witness of an illustrious birth, gave Lucan to the people and to thee, Polla.^ Alas, cruel Nero, more detested on account of no one of your victims than this, such a crime at least should not have been permitted you. This is that day, Polla, to thee brought forth Lucan, and to the world ; that man of worth. Ah, cruel Nero ! ne'er more loath'd than now, This fact at least heav'n should not thee allow. Old MS. IQth Cent. XXII. ON- THE SAME. The day returns, memorable for the illustrious birth of a bard inspired by Apollo ; Aonian virgins, be propitious to our sacrifices. Baetis, when she gave thee, Lucan, to the earth, deserved that her waters should be mingled with those of Oastalia. Apollo's bard exalts to-day : Aonian choir, attune the lay. When bounteous Bsetis Lucan gave. He blended with Castalia's wave. Elphinston. XXIII. TO APOLLO, ON THE SAME. Phoebus, come great as thou wast when thou gavest * The wife of Lucan. BOOK VII.] EPIGEAMS. 315 the second quill of the Latin lyre to the singer of wars.* "What can I pray for worthy of so glorious a day ? That thou, Polla, mayst often venerate the shade of thy husband, and that he may be sensible of thy veneration. Come, Phoebus, great as when the warlike swain Thou lent'st the second bow to sweep the lyre. What pious vow can for this morn remain ? Oft, Polla, hail thy lord ; and may he feel thy fire. Elphinston. XXIV. ON A SLANDEEEE. Perfidious tongue, that wouldst embroil m6 with my dear friend Juvenal, what wilt thou not have the audacity to say ? "With thee to coin scandalous stories, Orestes would have hated Pylades; the aflfectionate Pirithous would have shunned Theseus. Thou wouldst have parted the Sicilian brothers, and the Atridae, still greater names, and the sons of Leda. This I imprecate upon thee, tongue, as a just re- ward for thy doings and thy audacious attempts, that thou mayst continue to do what I believe thou dost already.^ Perfidious tongue, that wouldst embroil My Juvenal and me ! What faith so pure to stand the soil Of venom shed by thee ? At thy surmise, his Pylades Orestes soon would hate ; For Theseus would, by slow degrees, I Pirithous' love abate. \ Sicilian brothers thou 'dst divide, i Or Atrean, greater name : To Leda's twins 't would be thy pride To give a novel fiame. For deeds so done, and so design'd, I pray, with humble trust. That all the tongues of all mankind To thee be ever just. Elphinstoti. XXV. TO A BAD EPIGEAMMATIST. Although the epigrams which you write are always sweet- ^ Lucan, whom Martial ranks next to Virgil. I * Haereat inguinibus potius tam noxia lingua. B. ii. Ep. 61. i 316 martial' s ness itself and more spotless than a whiteleaded skin, and although there is in them neither an atom of salt, nor a drop of bitter gall, yet you expect, foolish man, that they will be read. "Why, not even food itself is pleasant, if it be wholly destitute of acid seasoning; nor is a face pleasing, which shows no dimples. Give children your honey-apples and luscious figs ; the Chian fig, which has sharpness, pleases my taste. Since all your lines are only sweet and fine, As is the skinn which with white wash doth shine, Butt nott a come of salt, or dropp of gall, In them ; yett, foole, thou 'dst have me reade them all. Meate has no gust without sharpe sawce ; no face Without a smiling dimple has a grace : For children sweete insipid fruits are best j The quick and povnant only me can feast. Old MS. 16th Cent. In all the epigrams you write we trace The sweetness and the candour of your face. Think you, a reader will for verses call, Without one grain of salt, or drop of gall ? 'T is vinegar gives relish to our food : A face that cannot smile is never good. Smooth tales, like sweetmeats, are for children fit : High-season' d, like my dishes, be my wit. Hai/. XXYI. TO HIS SCAZONS.^ G-0, my Scazons, and pay your respects to Apollinaris ; and, if he be disengaged (for you must not importune him), present him with this collection, whatever may be its worth, a collection in which he himself has a share. '-^ May his re- fined ear grant my verses an audience. If you find your- selves welcomed with open brow, you will ask him to support you with his usual favour. You know his passionate liking for my trifles ; not even I myself could love them more. If you wish to be safe against detractors, go, my Scazons, and pay your respects to Apollinaris. Scazon, to my Apollinaris come ; If hee's not busy (be not trouMesome), These frolic lines, wherein himself much shares, Offer t' th' judgment of his critick ears. ' A sort of Iambic verse. ' By having corrected some of the pieces. BOOK YII.] EPIGEAMS. 317 If he receive thee not with a half-looke, With his known favour pray him owne my booke. Thou know'st how much my trifles he does love ; I cannot ev'n myself them more approve. If thou malignant censurers wouldst shunn, Scazon, to my Apollinaris runn. Old MS. IQth Cent. XXTII. ON A WILD-BO AE. A wild boar, a devourer of Tuscan acorns, and heavy with the fruit of many an oak, second in fame only to the monster of ^tolia, a boar which my friend Dexter pierced with glitter- ing spear, lies an envied prey for my kitchen fire. Let my Penates fatten and exude with the pleasing steam, and my kitchen, festally adorned, blaze with a whole mountain of felled wood. But, ah ! my cook will consume a vast heap of pepper, and will have to add Ealernian wine to the mysterious sauce. No ; return to your master, ruinous wild-boar : my kitchen fire is not for such as you ; I hunger for less costly delicacies. Surely, Sir John, you must have been in liquor, To send a buck unto a country vicar : The fattest, too, that you have shot this season. It crowds my kitchen up beyond all reason. To dress it, I should build my chimney new : Without a cook, should borrow one of you. It would consume almost a cord of wood : Much wine and spice, to make the pasty good. If I invite my parish ; without doubt, They would confound a hogshead of my stout. Then take it back ; for here it can't be drest : And it is Ember-week, — to fast is best. Ea^. XXYIII. TO PUSCTJS, ON SENDING HIM HIS EPIGEAMS. So may your grove at Tivoli, consecrated to Diana, grow unceasingly, and your wood, though often cut, hasten to recruit itself; so may not your olives, fruit of Pallas, be excelled by the presses of Spain ; so may your vast wine-coolers sup- ply you with good wine ; so may the courts of law admire and the palace praise you, and many a palm decorate your fold- ing doors,^ as, while the middle of December affords you a ^ Palms were affixed to the doors of eminent advocates who had gained causes. 318 maetial's short vacation, you correct with unerring judgment these trifles which you are now reading. " Do you wish to hear the truth ? — it is a trying task." But you can say, Fuscus, what you would wish to be said to yourself. Soon may your new-cut coppices revive. And your new-planted grove and garden thrive j May laughing Ceres dance around your fields, And your press flow with gifts Pomona yields j May you a fee receive in every cause. And hall and houses hear you with applause ; If, in the time the long vacations lend, You read my jokes, and censure as a friend. I want the truth, still backward to appear : Tell me, what you yourself would freely hear. Hay. XXIX. TO THESTYLTJS, THE POET VICTOE'S BOY. Thestylus, sweet torment of "Victor Yoconius, thou than whom no youth is better known in the whole city, so mayst thou still, though thy long hair has been cut, retain thy beauty and the aff'ection of thy master, and so may no maiden find favour in the eyes of thy poet-lord, as thou now layest aside for a while his learned compositions, whilst I read to him a few humble verses. Even by Maecenas while Yirgil sang of his Alexis, the brown Melaenis of Marsus was not disregarded. O thou, Voconius' painful joy. Thou o'er the globe renowned boy ! So be thou still thy Victor's pride, E'en when thou lay'st thy locks aside ; Nor ministration of the fair With thy complaisance tempt compare : Such, Thestyl, be thy just reward ; As thou the labours of thy lord Shalt slily set one moment by, While in his ear some strains I try. Though Maro, with Alexis smooth, Knew well his patron's soul to soothe ; Maecenas could a Marsus own. Nor dusk Melaenis held unknown. Ulphinston. XXX. TO CiELIA. You grant your favours, Cselia, to Parthians, to G-ermans, I BOOK VII.] EPIGRAMS. 319 to Dacians ; and despise not the homage of Cilicians and Cappadocians. To you journeys the Egyptian gallant from the city of Alexandria, and the swarthy Indian from the waters of the Eastern Ocean ; nor do you shun the embraces of circumcised Jews ; nor does the Alan, on his Sarmatic steed, pass by you. How comes it that, though a E-oman girl, no attention on the part of a Eoman citizen is agreeable to you ? For Parthians, Germans, thou thy nets wilt spread ; Wilt Cappadocian or Cilician wed ; From Memphis comes a whipster unto thee, And a black Indian from the Red Sea ; Nor dost thou fly the circumcised Jew, Nor can the Muscovite once pass by you ; Why being a Roman lass dost do thus ? tell. Is 't 'cause no Roman knack can please so well ? Fletcher. XXXI. TO EEGIJLirS, ON SEKDING HIM BOUGHT PEESENTS. These shrill-voiced denizens of the hen-coop, these eggs of the matron hens, these Chian figs made yellow by a moderate heat, this young ofi'spring of a plaintive she-goat, these olives yet too tender to bear the cold, and these vegetables hoary with the cold frosts, do you imagine that they are sent from my country-house? Oh, how intentionally you mis- take, Regulus ! my fields bear nothing but myself. What- ever your Umbrian bailiff or husbandman, or the Etruscan, or the people at Tusculum, or your country-house three miles from Rome, send to you, is all produced for me in the middle of the Suburra. If I by chance a pullet have with e^^, Of Christmas-lamb if I produce a leg, With winter pease or ,'sparagus I treat, You think them sent me from my country-seat But you 're deceived ; for you must understand, I am my only stock upon my land. What Dorking sends, in Leadenhall I found ; In Covent-garden more than Chelsea ground. Hai/. XXXII. TO ATTICUS, COMMENDING HIS EIEECISE IN THE EACE. O Atticus, who revivest the fame of a family renowned for eloquence, and sufferest not a mighty house to fall into ob- 320 maetial's livion, thou art accompanied by the pious votaries of the Cecropian Minerva, thou art pleased with calm retirement, and beloved by every philosopher, whilst other young men are instructed in boxing by a pugilist at the expense of wounded ears, and the greasy anointer carries off their mo- ney, which he little deserves. JSTo ball, no bladder, no feather- stuffed plaything prepares thee for the warm baths, nor the harmless blows dealt upon the defenceless wooden image. ^ Neither dost thou square thy arms drenched in stiff wrest- ler's oil ; nor seize at full speed the dusty hand-ball. Thou only runnest near the glistening Virgin water,^ and where the bull shows his affection for the Sidonian maiden.^ Por a young man who can run, to indulge in the various sports that every arena presents, is mere idleness. O Atticus ! who dost thy name attest. Nor lett'st thy mighty house in silence rest ! Thee the Cecropian train must still pursue : Bland wisdom love thee, and indulgence woo : While the rough rector batters either ear. Of thine each brave, and each beloved compeer; Whom the mean dauber lubricates to learn, And riches ravishes he ne'er could earn. Thee neither ball nor post for bath prepares, Nor the soft liniment for bruising bares. But to the virgin-stream wilt thou retire, Or, where the bull confess'd Sidonian fire. Of all the sports, whate'er the ground or growth, To play, when thou canst run, is very sloth. JElphinston. XXXIII. TO CINNA. When your toga, Cinna, is dirtier than mud, and your shoe whiter than the new-born snow, why, foolish man, do you let your garment hang down over your feet ? Grather up your toga, Cinna ; or your shoe will be quite spoilt. When in a sordid gown thou lov'st to go, But shoes as white as the new-fallen snow. Why 'bout thy feet thy gown to wear dost use ? Fool, tuck it up, or it wSl foul thy shoes. Anon. 1695. * Stipes, a sort of block or post, perhaps formed into the shape of a man, at which the young men exercised themselves as against an adversary. 2 See B. V. Ep. 20. ^ In the Portico of Europa, ibid. BOOK YII.] EPIGEAMS. 321 XXXIV. TO SEVEETJS, OK CHAEINUS' EXCELLENT BATHS. Do you ask, Severus, how it could come to pass that Cha- rinus, the very worst of men, has done one thing well ? I will tell you at once. Who was ever worse than Nero? Yet what can be better than Nero's warm baths ? But hark, there is not wanting some ill-natured individual to say, immediately, in a sour tone, " What, do you prefer the baths of Nero to the munificent structures of Domitian, our lord and master ? " I prefer the warm baths of Nero to the baths of the debauch- ed Charinus. It passes my Severus' ken, How Charin, vilest much of men, Should e'er to praise or profit bring The greatest or the smallest thing. What 's worse than Nero ? brief my terms. Or better what than Nero's therms ? Lo ! sudden one of malice' tribe Croaks from his putrid mouth his gibe, Preferr'st the bath of an abhorr'd. To all the bounties of our lord ? I do prefer, and nothing fights, A Nero's to a catamite's. Elphinston. XXXV. TO L^CAIflA. Inguina succinctus nigra tibi servus aluta Stat, quoties calidis tota foveris aquis. Sed mens, ut de me taceam, Lecauia, servus, Judaeum nulla sub cute pond us habet. Sed nudi tecum juvenesque senesque lavantur. An sola est servi mentula vera tui ? Ecquid foemineos sequeris, matrona, recessus ? Secretusque tua, cunne, lavaris, aqua ? Un servo, cinto le pudenda con un nero cuojo, attende a te ogni volta che tutta t' immergi nelle calde acque. Ma il mio servo, senza parlare di me, ha il giudaico peso sotto verun cuojo. Ma e i gio- vani, e i vecchi si lavano nudi teco, forse che la.mentola del tuo servo, e solamente la vera ? A che, o matrona, siegui tu i feminei recessi ? O c — no, ti lavi tu di nascosto nella tua acqua ? Graglia. XXXVI. TO STELLA. When my crazy farm-house, unable to resist the rain and dropping skies, was inundated by the winter floods, there 322 maetial's came to me, sent by your kindness, a supply of tiles, suffi- cient for a defence against any sudden shower. Hark ! in- clement December is roaring with the blast of Boreas ; Stella, you cover the farm-house, and forget to cover the farmer.^ When my crazed house heav'n's show'rs could not sustain, But floated with vast deluges of rain, Thou shingles, Stella, seasonably didst send. Which from th' impetuous storms did me defend : Now fierce loud-sounding Boreas rocks does cleave. Dost clothe the farm, and farmer naked leave ? Anon. 1695. XXXYII. TO CASTEICFS. Do you know, Castricus, the quaestor's sign of condemna- tion to death ? It is worth your while to learn the new Theta.^ He had given orders that every time he blew his nose dropping with cold, the act should be a fatal sign for death. One day, when furious December was blowing with dripping jaws, an unsightly icicle was hanging from his odious nose. His colleagues held his hands. What further do you ask ? The wretched man, Castricus, was not allowed to blow his nose. Dost thou know the deadly sign. That a quaestor could divine ? It is. Gastric, worth thy while. Though the Theta make thee smile. WTien the judge his nostrils blew. By the sound a man he slew. In December's frost and snow. When the floods forgot to flow, From the fatal trump depended Mischief, if not timely mended. But his colleagues interpose ; Nor can Nosy blow his nose. Elphinston. XXXVIII. TO POLTPHEMTJS. Polyphemus, slave of my friend Severus, you are of such a size and such a form that the Cyclops himself might wonder at you. Nor is Scylla^ inferior to you in these respects. ^ You forget to send me a toga. ^ The letter theta (being the initial letter of BdvaroQ) was the mark of condemnation to death, on the voting tablets among the Greeks. ' Another slave. I BOOK VIT.] EPIGEAMS. 323 If you bring face to face the awful monstrosities of the two, either will be a terror to the other. So hewn, and so huge, is Severe's Polypheme, A Cyclop with wonder would glare. Nor Scylla less fell : did they mutually gleam. The monsters would mutually scare. Elphinsto7i. XXXIX. ON CiELIFS. CsbHus, unable any longer to endure with patience the con- stant running from place to place, the morning calls, and the pride and cold salutations of the great, began to pretend that he had the gout. But, while he was over-eager to prove his disease real, and was plastering and bandaging his sound feet, and walking with laboured step (such is the efficacy of care and art in feigned pain) he ceased to feign. The many runnings to and fro, the paynes Of morning visitts, waytings on the braynes Of the proud great ones, Ceelius to forbeare Resolves, and take his ease. Butt yett for feare O' th' worst, hee suttly feigns to have the gout ; Which too much labouring to putt out of doubt, While he swathes up and plasters his sound feet, And with much greife pretends to goe or sitt, (To see how well the care and art may speed Of seeming payn'd !) hee 's got the gout indeed. Old MS. mth Cent. His lordship's mornings were in hurry spent, What with a levee, news, and compliment ; That his good lordship was quite wearied out ! And for his ease gave out he had the gout. 'T is fit a man of honour should say true : To show he did, what did his lordship do ? His foot, not founder' d, he in flannels bound; Limp'd on a crutch ; nor touch'd with toe the ground. What may not man with care and art obtain ! By feigning long, his lordship did not feign. Hay. XL. EPITAPH ON" THE EATHEE OE ETEUSCUS. ^ Here lies that old man, well known at the court of the emperor, whose favour and whose anger he endured with no mean spirit. The affection of his children has laid him 1 See B. iv. Ep. 83. Y 2 324 maetial's ove T with the hallowed ashes of his consort ; the Elysian grove holds both. She died first, defrauded of her youthful prime. He lived nearly eighteen Olympiads. But whoever beheld thy tears, Etruscus, thought that he had been snatched from thee prematurely. Here lyes that good old man in court well knowne For 's equall temper in both fortunes showne. His sacred bones here with his wife's are mixt By filiall care ; their souls in heav'n are fixt. Shee dyed first, her youthfull prime much spent j Near ninety yeeres the Fates unto him lent. Yett him in haste snatch'd hence all would believe^ Who knew how much the world did for him greive. Old IIS. I6th Cent. XLI. TO SEMPEONITJS TUCCA. Tou think yourself, Sempronius Tucca, a cosmopolite Vices, Sempronius Tucca, are equally cosmopolitan with virtues. A cosmopolitan thou wouldst be thought : But cosmopolitans are good — and nought. Anon. XLII. TO CASTEICUS. If any person, Castricus, should wish to rival you in making presents, let him attempt to do so also in making verses. I am but of small resources in either way, and al- ways ready to own myself beaten ; hence ease and undis- turbed quiet charm me. Do you ask, then, why I have oflered you such bad verses ? I ask you in return, do you imagine that no one ever ofi'ered apples to Alcinous ? If any in rich gifts with thee dare vie, His skill with thee in verse, too, let him try : I, poor in both, prepared am to yield, And find much ease by quitting of the field. Why then ill verses do I thee present ? Dost think none e'er. Alcinous apples sent? Anon. 1695. XLIII. TO CINNA. The greatest favour that you can do me, Cinna, if I ask anything of you, is to give it me ; the next, Cinna, to refuse it • at once. I love one who gives, Cinna ; I do not hate one who refuses ; but you, Cinna, neither give, nor refuse. i BOOK YII.] EPIGEAM3. 325 The kindest thing of all is to comply ; The next kind thing is quickly to deny : I love performance ; nor denial hate : Your " Shall I, Shall I ? " is the cursed state. Hay. XLIY. TO QTJINTUS OVIDIUS, GIST THE BUST OF MAXIMUS CJESOIflUS. This, Quintus Ovidius, is your friend Maximus Csesonius,^ whose lineaments the living wax still preserves. Him Nero condemned ; but you dared to condemn Nero, and to follow the fortunes of the exile instead of your own. Tou went through the waters of Scylla, a noble companion of his exile ; you who, but a little while before, were unwilling to go with him when he was consul. If names that I commit to paper are to live, and destiny wills that I should survive my tomb, present and future generations shall know that you' were to him what he was to his friend Seneca.^ See your great friend Caesonius, who is gone ! His likeness seems to animate the stone ! Whom Nero censured, spite of tyrant's hate, You dared acquit, and dared to share his fate. You, who refused a consul to attend, Attend through dangerous seas an exiled friend. If any names shall in my writings live. Or if my own my ashes shall survive. Let it in every future age be said. His love to Seneca, that you repaid. Hay. XLV. TO THE SAME, OK THE SAME BUST. This is that Maximus, the powerful friend of the eloquent Seneca, next in his affection to Cams, or more dear to him than Serenus, and whom he salutes with many a charming letter. You, Ovidius, in whose praise no tongue should be silent, followed him through the Sicilian waves, setting at nought the wrath of a furious tyrant. Let antiquity ad- mire her Pylades, who adhered to one exiled by his mother's fury. Who could compare the dangers defied by the two r* You adhered to .one exiled by Nero. Sweet-speaking Seneca's great friend (whom hee More than Serene, next Cams, loved) here see, * Cpcsonius had t)een banished, probably, to Corsica or Sardinia. ■^ He had accompanied Seneca in his exile to Corsica. 326 maetial's That Maximus, whose frequent happy name His learn'd epistles recommend to fame. Him thou, deare Ovid, didst so highly prize As raging Nero's fury to despise, And him through stormy seas accompany ; Which fame shall speak to all posterity. Lett old times Pylades a wonder make. Who stuck to 's friend banish'd for 's parents' sake : Who will compare the dangers of these two ? You Nero's banish'd did stick close unto. Old MS. \Q>th Cent XLYI. TO PRISCUS. While you are wishing to enhance your present to me by verses,^ Priscus, and endeavouring to speak more eloquently than the mouth of Homer ever spoke, you torture both me and yourself for many days, and still your muse says nothing about what concerns me. You may send poetry and sounding verses to the rich ; to poor men give substantial presents. I understand, to send me you design A present of fine verses, with your wine. Why will you crack your brain, and break my rest, And make of me your idle Clio's jest ? Send rhymes to peers ; to poor men send your treasure : They may, I cannot, wait the Muse's leisure. H.ay. XLYII. TO LICIIflUS ST7EA, OlS HIS EECOYEET TEOM SICKNESS. Licinius Sura, most celebrated of learned men, whose eloquence, savouring of antiquity, reminds us of our mighty ancestors, you are — (oh, by what kindness of the Fates !) — restored to us ; sent back after having almost tasted the water of Lethe. Our prayers had lost their fear ; ^ our sadness wept without relief; and it appeared from our tears that you were quite lost. But the ruler of the silent Avernus feared our displeasure, and has himself restored to the Fates the dis- taff already snatched from their hands. Thus you know, then, ^ Priscus delayed his presents till his verses should be ready to ac- company it. 2 We no longer feared that you would die, but considered it certain. How these verses should be read, it is impossible to settle satisfactorily ; such is the variation of copies. I BOOK VTI.] EPiaEAMS. 327 what lamentations tlie false report of your death caused amongst your fellow-creatures, and you enjoy what will be said of you by posterity. Live as though you were stolen from death, and seize fleeting joys, and thus your recovered life will not have lost a single day. doctor, learn'd as ever fill'd a chair, Whose doctrine 's primitive, and life is fair ; What an amazing Providence did save. And thus recall you from the opening grave ! We cease to pray ; despairing we deplore ; Our tears burst out ; we cry, " He is no more ! " Kind Heaven relented ere it was too late. And sent an angel to retard your fate. Conscious what sorrow from this rumour came, You now inherit your own future fame. Lose not one day, that was so kindly given : Employ each well, in gratitude to Heaven. Hut/. XL VIII. ON AKIflUS. Annius has some two hundred tables, and servants for every table. Dishes run hither and thither, and plates fly about. Such entertainments as these keep to yourselves, ye pompous ; I am ill pleased with a supper that walks. Annius two hundred tables has, I think, And for those tables boys to fill him drink. The platters fly. And chargers run about most fluently. Rich men, take to yourselves these feasts and stir ; 1 care not for your walking supper, sir. Fletcher XLIX. TO SETERUS. I send you, Severus, the small off'erings of my suburban garden; eggs good for your throat, fruits to please your palate. What has my little garden for thee got ? Apples to please thee ; eggs to clear thy throat. Anon. L. TO THE EOUNTAIN- OE lANTHIS, STELLa'S MISTEESS. Fount of thy Mistress, queen of the spot in which lanthis de- lights, glory and delight of this splendid retreat, when thy brink is adorned with so many snow-white attendants, and thy waves reflect a troop of Ganymedes, what is the vener- 328 maetial's ated Alcides doing in the wood near thee ? Why occupies the god a position so close to thee ? Is it that he keeps watch over the amorous nymphs, whose manners he so well knows, to prevent so many Hylases from being carried off at once ? ^ Imperial fountain, fair lanthis' joy, Thou purest glory of th' enchanted spot ! When thy mild margin beams with many a boy, And thy bright wave beams back the beauteous knot : Why stands Alcides sacred in the grove ? AVhy forms the tutelar so close a fence ? Is it to guard, lest many a nymph should rove ; And so should ravish many a Hylas hence ? Eljjhinston, LI. TO TJEBICUS. If you are unwilling, Urbicus, to purchase my trifles, and yet desire to have a knowledge of my sportive verses, go find Pompeius Auctus. Perhaps you know him ; he sits in the porch of the temple of Mars the Avenger. Though deeply imbued with law, and versed in the various usages of civil life, he is not only my reader, Urbicus, but my book itself. He so faithfully remembers and repeats his absent friend's compositions, that not a single letter of my pages is lost. In a word, if he had chosen, he might have made himself appear the author; but he prefers to assist in spreading my reputation. You may apply to him after the tenth hour ^ of the day, for before that time he will not be sufficiently disengaged; his little dinner will accommodate two. He will read ; you may drink ; he will recite whether you like it or not : and after you have said " Hold, enough ! " he will still continue to recite. If you desire my sportive books to know, Yet care not for them money to bestow, Pompeius Auctus (unknown) from me greet, In Mars Revenger's temple him you '11 meet ; Skill'd in all law and courts : on him I look, Not as my reader, but my very book. By heart he has so perfect ev'ry line, That not a tittle can be lost that 's mine» So that the author he might claim to be, Did he not favour both my fame and me. 1 Compare Ep. 15. 2 pour in the afternoon. 1 BOOK YII.] EPiaEAMS. 329 You may yourself to him, at ten, invite ; From business he is never free till night. His little supper will admit of two. He '11 read ; to eat, is all you have to do : And when you say, Enough, he '11 still go on ; Nay, though you 're tired, he will not yet have done. Jnon. 1695. LII. TO POilPEIUS ATJCTUS. I am delighted, Auctus, that you read my effusions to Celer ; I mean, if Celer is also pleased with what you read. He has been governor of my countrymen and the Celtic Iberians, and never was purer integrity seen in our region. The profound reverence I entertain for him fills me with awe ; and I regard his ears as those not of an auditor, but of a judge. Reading my books to Celer pleases me. If what thou read'st to him as pleasing be. O'er Spain, my native soil, he does preside ; Such justice in that world did ne'er reside. So great a man my rev'rence does excite ; Not to a reader, but a judge, I write. Anon. 1695. LIII. TO TMBEE. Tou have sent me as a present for the Saturnalia, Umber, everything which you have received during the past five days ; twelve note-books of three tablets each, seven tooth-picks ; together with which came a sponge, a table-cloth, a wine- cup, a half-bushel of beans, a basket of Picenian olives, and a black jar of Laletanian wine. There came also some small Syrian figs, some candied plums, and a heavy pot of figs from Libya. They were a present worth, I believe, scarcely thirty small coins altogether; and they were brought by eight tall Syrian slaves. How much more convenient would it have been for one slave to have brought me, as he might without trouble, five pounds' weight of silver ! The five days' presents which were given to thee In the Saturnal feasts thou send'st to me. Twelve three-foot tables, and seven tooth-pickers A sponge, a napkin, and a cup with ears, Two pecks of beans, of olives one small twig, A bottle of coarse Spanish wine to swig. Small Syrian figs with musty damsins came. And a huge cask of Libyan figs o' th' same : 330 maetial's Thy gifts were worth scarce five shillings in all, , Which to me sail'd on thy eight Syrians tall. With how much ease might'st thou have sent, in short. Me five pounds by thy boy, and ne'er sweat for 't. Fletcher. LIV. TO IfASIDIEI^TJS. Every morning you recount to me your idle dreams about myself, such as may move and alarm my mind. All my wine of last vintage has been exhausted to the dregs, and even that of the present is failing, while the wise woman is exorcising for me the effects of your nocturnal visions. I have consumed heaps of salted meal and mountains of frank- incense ; my flocks, by the frequent sacrifices of lambs, have altogether dwindled away. Not a pig, not a fowl of the hencoop, not an ^g^ have I left. Either lie awake, JN'asi- dienus, or sleep and dream for yourself. There 's not a morn that me thou dost not vex With idle dreams, that may my thoughts perplex : Which while to expiate thou dost pretend. The wine of two years' vintage to an end Is brought ; salt, meal, whole heaps of gums are spent ; And from my dwindling flocks my lambs are sent : A pig, a hen, an Q.%%t I cannot keep. Watch, with a pox, or at thine own charge sleep. Anon. 1665. LY. TO CHEESTTJS. Nulli munera, Chreste, si remittis, Nee nobis dederis, remiserisque ; Credam te satis esse liberalem. Sed si reddis Apicio, Lupoque, Et GraUo, Titioque, Csesioque ; Linges non mihi (nam proba et pusilla est) Sed quae de Solymis venit perustis, Damnatam modo mentulam tributis. Se tu non rendi regali a veruno, o Cresto, ne tampoco ne farai e renderai a noi ; ti credero essere bastantemente liberale. Ma se tu ne rendi ad Apicio, a Lupo, a Gallo, a Tizio, ed a Caesio ; lambirai non la mia (imperocche ella e morigerata e modesta) mentola, ma quella che venne dall' abbruciata Giudea condannata al tributo. Gh'aglia. BOOK YII.] EPIGEAMS. 331 LYI. TO EABIEIUS, DOMITIAN'S AECHITECT. You have embraced the stars and the skies in your pious mind, Eabirius ; such is the wondrous art with which you are erecting the Parrhasian ^ edifice. If Pisa still prepare to give the Jupiter of Phidias a temple worthy of him, she should request of our Jupiter the aid of your skilful hand. Rabirius modell tooke from heav'ii to build Our wondrous pallace, sure ; hee is so skill' d. For Phidian Jove a worthy fame to reare, Pisa must begg him of our Thunderer. Old MS. l^th Cent. LTII. 0]S" aABI^flA. G-abinia has made Achilles a Castor out of a Pollux ; he was Pyxagathos, now he will be Hippodamus.^ LTIII. TO GALLA. Jam sex, aut septem nupsisti, Gralla, cinsedis : Dum coma te nimiam, pexaque barba juvat. Deinde experta latus, madidoque simillima loro Inguina, nee lassa stare coacta manu, Deseris imbelles thalamos, mollemque maritum : Eursus et in similes decidis usque toros. Quaere aliquem Curios semper Pabiosque loquentem, Hirsutum, et dura rusticitate trucem. Invenies : sed habet tristis quoque turba cinsedos : Difficile est, vero nubere, Galla, viro. O GaUa, tu ti sei gia maritata con sei o sette cinedi, intanto che una bella capigliatura, ed una forbita barba troppo ti piace. Avendo poi sperimentato i fianchi e le virili somigliantissime ad un cuojo mace- rato, ne arrigere solleticate a stanca mano, abbandoni gli impotent! talami, ed un fiacco marito : e di bel nuovo caschi per sin in queUi stessi talami. Cerca un qualche rissuto, che sempre parla dei Curj e dei Pabj, ed uno inferocito, par la dura rusticita. Lo ritroverai : ma la turba severa ha anche i suoi cinedi. E' difficile, o Galla, mari- tarsi con un uomo compiuto. Graglia. ^ A palace on the Palatine Mount, where Evander the Arcadian, or Parrhasian, settled. 2 A jest in allusion to Homer's KdorOjOa 3-' \-KTrbZa\iov koI ttv^ ayaQbv HoXvSivicea (II. iii. 237). Achilles was a noted boxer {irv^ dyaOov) ; Gabinia, by endowing him with the fortune of a knight, may be facetiously said to have made him 'nrTrodaixov (a horse-tamer). 332 martial' s LIX. TO TITTJS, OIT C^CILIAIfUS. Our friend Csscilianus, Titus, does not sup without a whole wild-boar on his table. A pretty table-companion Caecilianus has ! Without a boar Csecilian ne'er doth feast ; Titus, Csecilian hath a pretty guest. Fletcher. Without calves' head the alderman can t dine ; Well the companion cheers the civic wine. Cyrus Redding, N. M. Mag. vol. xxvi. 1829. LX. TO JTJPITEE CAPITOLINTIS. Venerable sovereign of the Tarpeian palace, whom we be lieve to exist as Lord of the thunder, from the care which thou showest for the preservation of our prince, when every one im- portunes thee with prayers, and implores thee to give what the gods alone can give, be not angry with me, Jupiter, as though I were proud, because I ask thee nothing. It is my duty to supplicate thee for Domitian ; to supplicate Domi- tian for myself. Great Capitolian Jove, thou god, to whom Our Caesar owes that bliss he sheds on Rome, While prostrate crowds thy daily bounty tire. And all thy blessings for themselves desire, Accuse me not of pride, that I alone Put up no pray'r that can be call'd my own : For Caesar's wants, O Jove, I sue to thee ; Caesar himself can grant what's fit for me. Aaron, Hill. LXI. TO DOMITIAN. The audacious shopkeepers had appropriated to them- selves the whole city, and a man's own threshold was not his own. Tou, Germanicus,^ bade the narrow streets grow wide ; and what but just before was a pathway became a high- way. No column is now girt at the bottom with chained wine- flagons ; nor is the Praetor compelled to walk in the midst of the mud. Nor, again, is the barber's razor drawn blindly in the middle of a crowd, nor does the smutty cookshop project over every street. The barber, the vintner, the cook, the butcher, keep their own places. The city is now Eome j recently it was a great shop. * Domitian, who liked that title. B. v. Ep. 2. •u S BOOK YII.] EPIGEAMS. 333 Presumptuous traders did all Rome possess, No bounds did set to such their mad excess : Caesar the pester'd streets did open lay, Where only was a path he made a way ; Ground for their huts or vessels none might hire. To cause the Praetor tread o'er shoes i' th' mire : And rogues encouraged street arms to bear ; Cooks, barbers, vict'allers, all restrained are : Thy edicts, Csesar, their encroachments stop ; Rome's Rome again ; 't was lately one great shop. Anon. 1695. LXII. ITf AMILLUS, IMPUEIJM. Eeclusis foribus grandes percidis, Amille, Et te deprendi, cum facis ista, cupis ; jN"e quid liberti narrent, servique paterni, Et niger obliqua garrulitate cliens. Non psedicari se qui testatur, Amille, Illud saepe facit, quod sine teste facit. O Amillo, tu, precidi coUe porte aperte, e brami esser sorpreso quando fai queste cose ; non importandoti che i liberti, ed i servi di casa dicano qualche cosa, ed il cliente ti taccia con qualche chiac- chiera. O Amillo, colui che testifica non esser pedicato, fa sovvente cio, she fa senza testimonio. Graglia. LXIII. ON SILIUS ITALICUS. You, who read the imperishable volumes of the ever-living Silius and his verses, worthy of the Roman toga, do you think that Pierian retreats, and ivy chaplets, like those of Bacchus binding the hair of the Aonian Virgins, alone gave pleasure to the poet ? No ! he did not approach the mysteries of the lofty Virgil until he had accomplished the course pursued by the great Cicero. The grave centumviral court of the judges still remembers him with admiration; and many a client speaks of him with grateful lips. After ruling with the twelve fasces the ever-memorable year which was consecrated by the liberation of the world,^ he devoted his remaining days to the Muses and Phoebus, and now, instead of the forum, cultivates Helicon. You that read Silius' workes, whose great renowne Shall ever live, worthy the Latian gowne, ^ The year in which Nero perished. 334 maetial's Think you the poet's was the only prayse Pleased him, and crownes made of the Muses' bayes ^ Hee to bee compleat orator attayn'd, Before the sacred buskin's fame hee gain'd. Him yet the grave centumviri admire, ~ Him gratefull cHents prayse, him yett desire. His consulship once done, that yeare which free Did sett the world from Nero's tyrannic. From business to the Muses he resorts. And prizes Helicon instead of courts. Old MS. lUh Cent. LXIV. TO CINK"AMI7S. Tou, Cinnamus, who were a barber well known over all the city, and afterwards, by the kindness of your mis- tress, made a knight, have taken refuge among the cities of Sicily and the regions of ^tna, fleeing from the stern justice of the forum. By what art will you now, useless log, sustain your years ? How is your unhappy and fleeting tranquillity to employ itself ? Tou cannot be a rhetorician, a grammarian, a school-master, a Cynic, or Stoic philosopher, nor can you sell your voice to the people of Sicily, or your applause to theatres of Eome. All that remains for you, Cinnamus, is to become a barber again. Thou wast a barber through the city known, Though by thy mistress raised to the gown Of Knighthood (Cinnamus) ; when thou shalt fly The judgment of the court to Sicily, What art shall then sustain thy useless age ? How will thy fugitive rest foot the stage ? Thou canst not be grammarian, rhetorician. Fencer, nor Cynic on any condition, Nor yet a Stoic, nor canst sell thy tongue Or thy applause in the Sicilian throng : "What then (my Cinnamus) doth yet remain? Why thou must e'en turn shaver once again. Fletcher. LXY. TO GAEGILIAIS^US. One suit carried through the three courts, ^ G-argilianus, is wearing you out, now numbering, as you do, the colds of twenty winters since its commencement. Wretched, in- fatuated man ! does any one continue at law for twenty years, G-argilianus, who has the option of losing his suit ? 'The old Roman court, that of Julius Caesar, and that of Augustus. BO OK YII.] EPiaEAMS. 835 For twice ten years you to the hall resort ; And now pursue your cause in the third court. Would any madman let a process last For twenty years, who sooner could be cast ? Hay. LXYT. ox LABIESTS. Fabius has left Labienus all his property : Labienus says, notwithstanding, that he deserved more.^ Fabius left Labien heir to all his store ; Yet Labien says that he deserved more. Fletcher. LXYII. IN PHIL^NIM TEIBADEM. Psedicat pueros tribas Philaenis, Et tentigine saevior mariti Undenas vorat in die puellas. Harpasto quoque subligata Indit, Et flavescit haphe, gravesque draucis Halteres facili rotat lacerto, Et putri lutulenta de palsestra Uncti verbere vapulat magistri. Nee coenat prius, aut recumbit ante Qum septem vomuit meros dennces : Ad quos fas sibi tunc putat redire, Cum coliphia sedecim comedit. Post hsec omnia ; cum libidinatur, Non fellat ; putat hoc parum virile : Sed plane medias vorat puellas. Di mentem tibi dent tuam Philaeni : Cunnum lingere quae putas virile. La tribade Filene pedica i ragazzi, e piu libidinosa nella prurigine che un marito, strugge in un giorno ondici ragazze. E sbracciata giuoca anche all' arpasto, ed ingialisce pel tatto della polvere, e getta con robusto braccio palle di piombo pesanti agli irsuti, e strofinata d'unguento della putre palestra, ^ sferzata colla verga del maestro che la ugne. Ne prima cena, o si mette a tavola, che non abbia vomitato sette sestieri, al qual numero essa pensa poter far ritomo quando ha mangiato sedici colifie. Dopo tutte queste cose ; quando e presa dalla libidine : non fella : tied cio per poco maschile : ma tutta s'avventa al mezzo dello ragazze. I Dei, o Filene, ti dieno un' inclinazione a te conveniente : tu che pensi esser maschile lingere un c — no. Graglia. ^ He says that he is not repaid for the presents which he made to Fa- bius to induce him to make him his heir. 336 maetial's lxyiii. to iis'stats-tifs etjfus. Be cautious, I pray you, Instantius E-ufus, in commending the effusions of my muse to your father-in-law ; perhaps he likes serious compositions. But should he welcome my sport- ive writings, I may then venture to read them even to Curius and Fahricius. My book, to show thy father, friend, forbear j Perhaps he only Hkes those serious are : My wanton verse, if they with him succeed, I dare to Curius and Fabricius read. Anon. 1695. LXIX. TO THE POET CAIS'IUS, OlS" A PORTEAIT OE THEOPHILA HIS BETROTHED. This is that Theophila, Canius, who is betrothed to you, and whose mind overflows with Attic learning. The Athe- nian garden of the great old man ^ might justly claim her for its own, and the Stoic sect would with equal pleasure call her theirs. Every work will live that you submit to her judgment before publication, so far is her taste above that of her sex, and of the common herd. Tour favourite Pan- tsenis, however well known to the Pierian choir, should not claim too much precedence of her. The amorous Sappho would have praised her verses ; Theophila is more chaste than Sappho, and Sappho had not more genius than Theophila. This, Canius, is that spouse of thine, from whose Wise breast Cecropian learning sweetely flowes : Her Epicurus' gardens might have bredd. Or Stoick schooles for scholler challenged. 'Twill hve whate'er her critick eares doth pass, So little vulgar, womanish, shee has. Let not Pantaenis too much before her, To th' Muses though well knowne, herself prefer. The amorous Sappho's self her lines would prize ; This chaster is, and that was ne'er more wise. Old MS. im Cent. LXX. TO PHIL^NIS. Ipsarum tribadum tribas Philseni, Eecte, quam futuis, vocas amicam. O Filene, tribade delle tribadi stesse, tu chiami con proprieta arnica, colei che tu immembri. Graylia. ' Epicurus. ( BOOK YII.] EPIGEAMS. 337 LXXI. ON A CERTAI]S" FAMTLT. The wife is affected v^ith Jlcus ; the husband is affected ; the daughter, the son-in-law, and the grandson are alike af- fected. ]Sor is the steward, or the farm bailiff, free from the disgusting ulcer ; nor even the sturdy digger or the plough- man. When thus young and old alike are affected with this disease, it is a marvellous circumstance that not a single plot of their land produces figs.^ LXXII. TO PATJLrS. So may December be pleasing to you, Paulus, and so may there come to you neither valueless tablets, nor table-cloths too short, nor half-pounds of incense light in weight: but may some influential client, or powerful friend, bring you chargers or goblets that belonged to his ancestors, or whatever delights and fascinates you most ; so may you beat Novius and Publius at chess, shutting up their glass men in their squares ; so may the impartial judgment of the well-oiled crowd of athletes award you the palm in the warm triangular game at ball, and not bestow greater praise on the left-handed strokes of Polybus : as, if any malignant person shall pronounce verses dripping with black venom to be mine, you lend your voice in my favour, and maintain, with all your might and without remission, "my friend Martial did not write those." So, Paulus, may December please, Nor table-books nor toilets tease ; Nor half-a-pound of incense vain Thine approbation burn to gain : But potent friend, or client school'd, Present the plates and cups of gold : Or, when thou aimest archer shafts, So vanquish each adept at drafts : Of naked fives the manly meed Be thine, so by the judge decreed ; That not a dext'rous left, that day, Bear from thy right a ball away: As thou, if wight shall dare to call The libel mine, embaned in gall, Shalt, with commanding voice, declare : " My Martial's pen was never there." Elphinston. ^ An untranslatable jest, which may be partly understood bv reference to B. i. Ep. 66. 338 Martial's LXXIII. TO MAXIMTJS. Ton have a mansion on the Esquiline hill, and a mansion on the hill of Diana ; and another rears its head in the Pa- tricians' quarter.^ From one of your dwellings .you behold the temple of the widowed Cybele,^ from another that of Yesta ; from others you look on the old a*nd the new Capitol. Tell me where I may meet you ; tell me where- abouts I am to look for you : a man who lives everywhere, Maximus, lives nowhere. Thou hast a house on the Aventine hill, Another where Diana's worshipped still, In the Patrician street more of them stand, Hence thou beholdst within thine eyes, command The widdowed Cybells, thence Vesta with all, There either Jove earth'd in the Capitol. Where shall I meet thee ? tell, where wilt appear ? He dwells just nowhere, that dwells everywhere. Fletcher. LXXIY. TO MERCUET; A PRATER FOR CARPTJS AND NOE- BAISTA. O glory of Cyllene and of the skies, eloquent minister of Jove, whose golden wand is wreathed with twisted snakes, so may an opportunity for some fond intrigue never fail thee, whether the Paphian goddess, or G-anymede, be the object of thy affection ; and so may thy mother's Ides be adorned with sacred garlands, and thy old grandfather be pressed with but a light burden, as Norbana shall ever joyfully keep with her husband Carpus the anniversary of this day on which they first came together in wedlock. He, as thy pious vo- tary, consecrates his gifts to wisdom ; he invokes thee with incense, but is faithful at the same time to our Jove.^ Cyllene's glory and Olympus' crown, Melodious minister of men and gods I Whose golden wand, bright emblem of renown. With blooming dragons still connubial nods. ^ The part allotted to the Patricians by Servius Tullius, not far from the Esquiline hill. 2 So called from having lost Atys, for whom she mourned. ' Faithful to Domitian, as thou art to Jupiter. I I BOOK VII,] EPIGEAMS. 339 So thee no surreptitious fountain fail, Whether the Paphian or the nymph endear : So verdant still thy parent's Ides prevail, Nor e'er thy grandsire's load become severe. Still, with Norbana Carpus hail the day, This day, that ratified the holy bands. He wisdom's rites her pious priest shall pay : Thine incense he, while true to Jove he stands. Elphinston. LXXV. Y^ ATTUM DEPOEMEM. Vis futui gratis, cum sis deformis, aniisque. E-es perridicula est : vis dare, nee dare vis. Tu vuoi esser immembrata gratis, essendo tu deforme e vecchia. E' una cosa fuor di modo ridicola : vuoi dare, e non vuoi dare. Graglia. LXXVI. TO PHILOMUSTJS, A BTTEEOON. Though the great hurry you off to their banquets, and walks in the porticoes, and to the theatres ; and though they are delighted, whenever you meet them, to make you share their litters, and to bathe with you, do not be too vain of such attentions. You entertain them, Philomusus ; you are not an object of their regard. When dukes in town ask thee to dine. To rule their roast, and smack their wine, Or take thee to their country-seat. To make their dogs, and bless their meat. Ah ! dream not on preferment soon : Thou 'rt not their friend, but their buffoon. Hoadlei/. All the great men take you away To dinner, coffee-house, or play. Nor happier are, than when you chance To hunt with them, or take a dance. Yet do not pride yourself too soon : You 're not a friend, but a buffoon. Hay. LXXVII. TO TrCCA. You importune me, Tucca, to present you with my books. I shall not do so ; for you want to sell, not to read them. Tucca most earnestly doth look I should present him with my book : But that I will not ; for I smell My book he will not read, but sell. Fletcher. z 2 340 maetial's lxxviii. to papiltjs, a man iflggaedlt and ostentatious. While upon your own table is placed only the tail of a poor Saxetan fish/ and, when you dine luxuriously, cabbage drenched with oil ; you make presents of sow's udders, wild boar, hare, mushrooms, oysters, mullets. You have neither sense, Papilus, nor taste. For thyself if the tail of a pilchard thou broil, And on festivals swill a bean-soup without oil ; Teat, boar, hare, shampinions, and oysters, and mullet, Thou bestow'st : my poor Pap has nor palate nor gullet. Elphinston. LXXIX. TO SEEVEETJS, ON DETNKINQ- NEW WINE. I have just drunk some consular mne. You ask how old and how generous ? It was bottled in the consul's own year ; and he who gave it me, Severus, was that consul himself. Some consular wine late I drank : You ask how ingenuous and old ? The consul himself gave it rank : My treater the consul, I 'm told. Elphinston. LXXX. TO TArSTINrS. Inasmuch as Eome now leaves in peace the Getic clime? and the hoarse clarions are hushed, you will be able, Pausti- nus, to send this book to Marcellinus : now he has leisure for books and for amusement. And if you wish to enhance your friend's trifling present,' let a young slave carry my verses ; not such a one as, fed with the milk of a Getic heifer, plays with Sarmatian hoop upon frozen rivers, but a rosy youth, bought of a Mitylenean dealer, or one from Lace- dasmon not yet whipped by his mother's order. My messenger to you will be a slave from the subdued Danube, only fit to tend sheep at Tivoli. Now Roman peace becalms th' Odrysian shore, Where the shrill trumpet's voice is heard no more, To MarcelHne my lay, dear Faustin, send ; An ear to jocund lays the youth may lend. Yet, fully to ensure my muse's care. The humble boon a modest stripling bear ; 1 Some small fish from Baetica in Spain. BOOK Yll.] EPIGEAMS. 341 Not he, whose cheek the Getic heifer dyes ; Who, on the ice, his hoop Sarmatic plies ; But one of Mitylene's rosy breed ; Or Spartan, by his mother doom'd to bleed. From haughty Ister's now obsequious rocks, A cub shall crawl to tend thy Tibur's flocks. Elphinston. ^ LXXXI. TO LAUSTIS. In this whole book there are thirty bad epigrams ; if there are as many good ones, Lausns, the book is good. Thou thirty epigrams dost note for bad : Call my book good if thirty good it had. Anon. 1 695. LXXXII. DE MENOPHILO VEEPA. Menophili penem tarn grandis fibula vestit, TJt sit comoedis omnibus una satis. Hunc ego credideram (nam saepe lavamur in unum) SoUicitum voci parcere,nacce, suae : Dum ludit media populo spectante palaestra, Delapsa est misero fibula ; verpus erat. Una si gran fibula copre il membro di Menofilo, che sola bastereb- be a tutti i commedianti. lo, o Flacco, avevo creduto (imperocche si siamo sovvente lavati assieme) che esso soUecitoavesse curadeUa sua voce : lotta in mezzo la palestra a vista del popolo, la fibula casco alio sventurato ; era un' inciso. Graglla. LXXXIII. OlS LTJPEECrS. ■ AVhilst the barber Eutrapelus is going the round of Luper- cus's face, and carefully smoothing his cheeks, another beard springs up. While that the barber went to trim And shave Lupercus' chops and chin, He was so tedious on the face, Another beard grew in the place. Fletcher. Eutrapelus, the barber, works so slow, That while he shaves, the beard anew does grow. Anon. 1695. "While good master Temple but di-awls o'er your face, Another beard rises, and steps in its place. Eev.Mr. Scott. i 342 maetial's lxxxiv. to his book. While my portrait is being takenfor CseciliusSecunduSj^ana the picture, painted by a skilful hand, seems to breathe, go, my book, to the Gretic Pence ^ and the submissive Danube ; this _ is his post, among the conquered people. You will be a little gift to my dear friend, but acceptable : my countenance will be more traly read in my verse than in the picture. Here it will live, indestructible by accidents or lapse of years, when the work of Apelles shall be no more. While my Csecilius to the' world would leave My picture ; and the rare piece seems to breathe ; My book, to Peuce and still Ister go. Held by Secundus from the conquer'd foe. To him a small, but pleasing, gift thou'lt be, And in my verse, my perfect face he '11 see : Which neither chance nor pow'r of time can rase, Ev'n when Apelles' works they shall deface. Anon. 1695. LXXXY. TO SABELLTJS. For sometimes writing quatrains which are not devoid of humour, Sabellus, and for composing a few distichs prettily, I commend you ; but I am not astonished at you. It is easy to write a few epigrams prettily ; but to write a book of them is difficult. That some tetrasticks not amiss you write, Or some few disticks prettyly indite, I like, but not admire. With small paynes tooke An epigram is writt ; but not a booke. Old MS. 1695. LXXXVI. TO SEXTUS. I used to be invited to your birth-day feasts, before I had become your intimate friend, Sextus. How has it come to pass, I ask, how has it so suddenly come to pass, that, after so many pledges of affection on my part, and after the lapse of so many years, I, old friend as I am, am not included in your invitations. But I know the reason ; I have not sent you a pound of refined silver, or a fine toga, or a warm cloak. The sportula which is made a matter of traffic, is a sportula no longer.^ You feed presents, Sextus, and not friends. But ^ Pliny the younger. 2 An island at the mouth of the Danube. Pliny was proconsul of Pontus and Bithynia. 3 You have given only that you might receive. BOOK VII.] EPIGEAMS. 343 you will now tell me, " I will punish the skve omitting to deliver my invitations." "When but a stranger, to thy birth-day feast I ever, Sextus, was a constant guest. What 's fallen out ? What did thy anger move, After so many years and proofs of love, That I, thy ancient friend, am passed by ? But I myself can tell the reason why. I sent no plate, no gift to thee I made ; For thou call'st that a treat, in truth 's a trade ; Profit thou seek'st ; thou seek'st not, Sextus, friends. " My man forgot," thou say'st, " his stripes shall make amends.** I. 1695. LXXXVII. TO FLAOCirS, OlS HIS OWIT LOVE FOR LABTCAS. If my friend Flaccus delights in a long-eared lagolopex ; ^ if Canius likes a sad-coloured Ethiopian ; if Publius is pas- sionately fond of a little puppy ; if Cronius loves an ape re- sembling himself; if a mischievous ichneumon forms the gratification of Marius ; if a talkative magpie pleases you, Lausus ; if Grlaucilla twines an icy snake round her neck ; if Telesina has bestowed a tomb on a nightingale ; why should not the face of Labycas, worthy of Cupid himself, be an object of love to him who sees that things so strange furnish pleasure to his betters ? If Flaccus in an horned owl delight. And Canius in an Ethiope, black as night ; If Publius much a little bitch does love, And Cronius does an ape no less approve ; If Marius a vile Indian mouse affects, If, Lausus, thou a pratling pye respect'st ; Glacilla wreaths about her neck a snake, Another for her bird a tomb does make ; Why may not I admire a lovely face, When monsters, like to these, the others grace ? Anon. 1695. LXXXVIII. TO LATJSTJS ON HIS WORKS. It is reported (if fame says true) that the beautiful town of Vienna counts the perusal of my works among its pleasures. I am read there by every old man, every youth, and every boy, and by the chaste young matron in presence of her ^ Some bird of the owl kind, with ears resembling those of a fox. 344 maetial's grave husband. This triumph affords me more pleasure than if my verses were recited by those who drink the Nile at its very source, or than if my own Tagus loaded me with Spanish gold, or Hybla and Hymettus fed my bees. I am then really something, and not deceived by the interested smoothness of flattery's tongue. I shall henceforth, I think, believe you, Lausus.^ Vienna fair delights to con my lays : Nor can we doubt what honest rumour says. There am I read by ancient, youth, and boy ; By the chaste dame, before her jealous joy. This gives the Rhone and me more rapid course, Than if they quafF'd who quaff the Nilian source ; Than if my Tagus pour'dhis golden bed. My bees if Hybla or Hymettus fed. Some little then are we ; nor us deceive The pow'rs of song : thee, Lausus, I '11 believe. Anon. LXXXIX. TO A CHAPLET OF EOSES. Gro, happy rose, and wreathe with a delicate chaplet the tresses of my Apollinaris. Eemember, also, to wreathe them even after they are grown grey, but far distant be that time Ij So may Venus ever love thee. Go, happy rose, and claim thy share, To wreathe Apollinaris' hair. Oh ! feel it late the snowy shower : So be thou still fair Venus' flower. Elphinston. XO. TO CEETIOTJS. Matho exults that I have produced a book full of inequal- ities ; if this be true, Matho only commends my verses. Books without inequalities are produced by Calvinus and Umber. A book that is all bad, Creticus, may be all equality. Matho objects, my books unequal are ; If he says true, he praises ere aware. Calvin and Umber write an equal strain : Naught is the book that 's free from heights, and plain. Anon. 1695. XCI. TO JUVENAL. I send you, eloquent Juvenal, some nuts from my little ' I shall belie"^e that there are as many good epigrams in my books as bad ones. See Ep. 81. BOOK YII.] EPIGEA.MS, 345 farm as a present for the Saturnalia. The libertine god who protects it, has given the rest of the fruits to amorous young ladies. Old Saturn presents, to the lord of the lay, Some filberts to toss, and to crack with his jokes. The gay god of gardens gave all else away Last night in a treat to the maids of the oaks. Elphinston . XCII. TO BACCAEA. " If you want anything, you know it is not necessary to solicit my assistance," is what you tell me two or three times every day. The stern Secundus calls upon me with harsh voice to repay him. You hear. Baccara, but do not know what I want. My rent is demanded of me, loudly and openly, in your very presence : you hear, Baccara, but do not know what I want. I complain of my worn-out cloak, that will not protect me from the cold : you hear, Baccara, but do not know what I want. I will tell you then what I want ; it is that you may become dumb by a sudden stroke of paralysis, and so be unable to talk to me of what I want. If need thou hast, thou need'st not me intreat, Baccar, these words thou often dost repeat. My creditor's rage thou in his look dost read ; Thou seest, but know'st not, Baccar, what I need. My rent, thou by, is call'd for in with speed ; Thou hear'st, but know'st not, Baccar, what I need, I shiver in a tatter'd thread-bare weed ; Thou seest, yet know'st not, Baccar, what I need. I need, that thou wert planet-struck with speed, No more that thou may'st say, What dost thou need ? Anon. 1695. XCIII. TO THE TOWN OP TAENIA, WHEEE QUINTUS OVIDITJS WAS EESIDING. Narnia, surrounded by the river Nar ^ with its sulphureous waters, thou whom thy double heights render almost in- accessible, why does it delight thee so often to take from me, and detain with wearisome delay, my friend Quintus ? Why dost thou lessen the attractions of my Nomentan farm, which was valued by me because he was my neighbour there ? ^ The river Nar, now Negra. 346 maetial's Have pity on me at length, Narnia, and abuse not thy pos- session of Quint lis : so mayest thou enjoy thy bridge for ever ! O Narnia, circled by sulphureous rill, That deign'st access but by thy double hill ; Why call my Quintus, ah ! so oft away ? Yet, need I ask ? or, why prolong his stay ? Why sink the value of Nomentum's land, Which once was doubled by the social band ? Release my friend, nor lengthen my annoy : So may'st thou stiU thy peerless bridge enjoy. Elphinston. XCIV. ON PAPILrS. WTiat the small onyx box contained was perfume ; Papilus smelt it, and it is become a mass of corruption. Sweet ointment once was in that onyx-stone : You smelt, and, see, 't is putrefaction grown. Wright. XCY. TO LINUS. It is winter, and rude December is stiff with ice-, yet you dare, Linus, to stop every one who meets you, on this side and on that, with your freezing kiss, and to kiss, indeed, the whole of Eome. What could you do more severe or more cruel, if you were assaulted and beaten ? I would not have a wife kiss me in such cold as this, or the affectionate lips of an innocent daughter. But you are more polite, more refined, you, from whose dog-like nose depends a livid icicle, and whose beard is as stiff as that of a Cinyphian he-goat,^ which the Cilician barber clips with shears. I prefer meeting a hundred of the vilest characters, and I have less fear of a recently consecrated priest of Cybele. If, therefore, Linus, you have any sense or decency, defer, I pray you, your winter salutations till the month of April. 'T is winter, and December's horrid cold Makes all things stark ; yet, Linus, thou lay'st hold On all thou meet'st ; none can thy clutches miss ; But with thy frozen mouth all Rome dost kiss. What could' st more spightful do, or more severe, Had'st thou a blow o' th' face, or box o' th' ear ? My wife, this time, to kiss me does forbear, My daughter too, however debonaire. 1 On the river Cinyps in Africa. BOOK YII.J EPIGBAMS. 347 But thou more trim and sweeter art. No doubt, Th' icicles, hanging at thy dog-like snout, The congeal'd snivel dangling on thy beard. Ranker than th' oldest goat of all the herd. The nasty'st mouth i' th' town 1 'd rather greet, Than with thy flowing frozen nostrils meet. If therefore thou hast either shame or sense, Till April comes no kisses more dispense. Anon. 1695. XCYI. EPITAPH or UEBICrS. Here I, the child Urbicus, to whom the mighty city of Eome gave both birth and name, repose ; an object of mourning to Bassus. Six months were wanting to complete my third year, when the stern goddesses broke my fatal thread. "What did my beauty, my prattle, my tender years avail me ? Thou who readest the inscription before thee, drop a tear upon my tomb. So may he, whom thou shalt desire to survive thyself, be preserved from the waters of Lethe till he has reached an age greater than that of Nestor. My parents' grief I here lie in this tomb, Who had my bulh and name from mighty Rome : Six months I wanted of three years to me. When my life's thread was cut by destiny. What grace shall age, or tongue, or beauty have ? Thou that read'st this, shed some tears on my grave. So he that thou wouldst have thyself survive. Shall longer than decrepit Nestor live, Fletcher. XCVII. TO HIS BOOK. If, my book, you are well acquainted with Csesius Sa- binus, the glory of the mountainous Umbria, the fellow- townsman of my friend Aulus Pudens, you will present these lines to him, even though he be engaged. Though a thou- sand cares may besiege and press upon him, he will stiU have leisure for my verses ; for he loves me, and will read me next to the noble compositions of Turnus.^ Oh, what renown is in store for me ! what glory ! what numbers of ad- mirers ! You will be celebrated at feasts, at the bar, in the temples, the streets, the porticoes, the shops. You are sent to one, but you will be read by all. If, book, Caesius Sabinus (the renown Of hilly Umbria, and of the town ' A writer of satires. See B. xi. Ep. IJ. 34<8 maetial's Of my friend Aulus Pudens), thou dost know, Howe'er employ'd, yet boldly to him go ; Though many urgent cares oppress his mind, A vacant time to read thee, he will find. For me he loves ; and deigns my verse the grace, Next Turnus' noble works to hold the place. O, what great trophies are for thee prepared ! What num'rous friends ! what glories to be shared ! There 's not a mart, in which thou 'It not be found, A feast, a street, but will with thee resound ; The baths, the porticoes, ev'n ev'ry stall : To one thou 'rt sent, but wilt be read by all. Anon. 1695. XCVIII. TO CASTOE. Tou buy everything, Castor ; the consequence will be, that you will sell everything. You purchase everj'thing, which makes it plain That everything you soon will sell again. Hay. If for mere wantonness you buy so fast, For very want you must sell all at last. Bouquet. Why, Tom, you purchase everything ! 't is well : Who can deny you '11 have the more to sell ? Hodgson. XCIX. TO CRISPINTJS.^ So, Crispinus, may you always see the Thunderer's ^ face, looking serene, and so may Eome love you not less than your own Memphis, as my verses shall be read in the Parrhasian palace;^ (for the sacred ear of Caesar usually deigns to listen to them). Take courage to say of me, as a candid reader, " This poet adds something to the glory of thy age, nor is he very much inferior to Marsus and the learned Ca- tullus." That is sufficient; the rest I leave to the god himself. May'st thou the prince still gracious to thee find. And Rome, no less than Egypt, ever kind ; If, when in court, my verses thou dost hear (For sometimes Csesar deigns to them an ear). Thou me afi"ord'st this free and candid praise. This man 's a glory, CfEsar, to thy days. Yields not to Marsus., Pedo, or the best. This is enough ; to Csesar leave the rest. Anon. 1695. ^ The same, says Raderus, that is mentioned by Juvenal, Sat. I, and IV 2 Domitian's. ^ On the Palatine hill. See Ep. 50. BOOK VIII.] BPIOEAMS. 349 BOOK VIII. VALEEirS MAETIALIS TO THE EMPEEOR DOMITIAKITS, CJ5SAE AITGTISTTJS, GEEMAKICTJS, DACICUS, GEEETI:N'G. All my books, Sire, to whicli you liave given renown, that is, life, are dedicated to you ; and will for that reason, I doubt not, be read. This, however, which is the eighth of my col- lection, has furnished more frequent opportunities of show- ing my devotion to you. I had consequently less occasion to produce from my own invention, for the matter supplied the place of thought ; yet I have occasionally attempted to produce variety by the admixture of a little pleasantry, that every verse might not inflict on your divine modesty praises more likely to fatigue you than to satisfy me. And though epigrams, addressed even to the gravest persons and to those of the highest rank, are usually written in such a manner that they seem to assume a theatrical licence of speech, I have nevertheless not permitted these to speak with any such freedom. Since, too, the larger and better part of the book is devoted to the majesty of your sacred name, it has to re- member that it ought not to approach the temples of gods without religious purification. That my readers also may know that I consider myself bound by this obligation, I have determined to make a declaration to that eifect at the com- mencement of the book in a short epigram : I. TO HIS BOOK. My book, as you are about to enter the laurel- wreathed palace of the lord of the world, learn to speak with modesty, and in a reverent tone. Eetire, unblushing Yenus ; this book is not for thee. Come thou to me, Pallas, thou whom Caesar adores. To th' prince's laiirell'd court, seeing thou'rt to go, Learn, book, a chaste and modest speech to know. No place is left for wanton Venus there ; Pallas, Csesarean Pallas, rule does bear. Anon. 1695. 350 maetial's ii. to jantjs. Janus, the author and parent of our annals, when he re- cently beheld the conqueror of the Danube, thought it not enough to have several faces, ^ and wished that he had more eyes ; then, speaking at once with his different tongues, he promised the lord of earth and divinity of the empire an old age four times as long as that of Nestor. We pray thee, father Janus, that thou wouldst give the promised term in addition to thine own immortality.^ When Janus, lord of times, beheld of late Th' imperial victor in triumphant state, Though faces he had two, he thought them few, And wish'd that yet more eyes he had to view. With both his tongues he said unto our lord, Nestor's four ages I '11 to thee afford. O father Janus ! thine own also give, That he not long, but may for ever, live. Anon. 1695. III. TO HIS MUSE. " Eive books had been enough ; six or seven are surely too many : why, Muse, do you delight still to sport on ? Be mod- est and make an end. Fame can now give me nothing more: my book is in every hand. And when the stone sepulchre of Messala ^ shall lie ruined by time, and the vast marble tomb of Licinus '^ shall be reduced to dust, I shall still be read, and many a stranger will carry my verses with him to his ancestral home." Thus had I concluded, when the ninth ^ of the sisters, her hair and dress streaming with per- fumes, made this reply : Canst thou then, ungrateful, lay aside thy pleasant trifling ? Canst thou employ thy leisure, tell me, in any better way ? Dost thou wish to relinquish my sock for the tragic buskin, or to thunder of savage wars in heroic verse, that the pompous pedant may read thee with hoarse voice to his class, and that the grown-up maiden and ingenuous youth may detest thee ? Let such poems be written by those who are most grave and singularly severe, whose wretched toilings the lamp Avitnesses at mid- night. But do thou season books for the Eomans with racy ^ Janus is generally represented Avith two faces ; but sometimes with four, answering to the four seasons. ^ Immortality. 3 The orator, Messala Corvinus. B. x. Ep. 2. * A rich freed-man of Augustus. Persius, Sat. II. ^ Thalia. BOOK VIII.] EPIGRAMS. 351 salt ; in thee let human nature read and recognise its own manners. Although thou mayst seem to be playing on but a slender reed, that reed will be better heard than the trum- pets of many. Pive had suffic'd ; six books or seven do cloy, Why dost as yet deHght, my muse, to toy ? Give o'er, for shame : Fame has not more to grace My verse, the business made in ev'ry place. And when proud tombs, in which for fame men trust, O'erthrown and broken lie reduc'd to dust, I shall be read, strangers will make 't their care, Unto their sev'ral soils my works to bear. She of the sacred nine (when I had spoke). Whose locks with odours drop, thus silence broke : And wilt thou then thy pleasant verse forsake ? What better choice, ungrateful, canst thou make ? Exchange thy mirthful for a tragic vein ; Thunder harsh wars in an heroic strain ; Which strutting pedants, till they're hoarse, may rant, While the ripe youth detest to hear the cant : Let the o'er-sour and dull that way delight, Whose lamps at midnight see the wretches write. But season thou thy lines with sharpest wit, That all may read thefir vices smartly hit. Altho' thou seem'st to play but on a reed, Thy slender pipe the trumpet does exceed. Anon. 1695. lY. TO DOMITIAI^". What a world of people, ye gods, is collected at the Eoman altars, offering up prayer and vows for its ruler! These, Germanicus, are not the joys of men only ; it seems to me that the gods themselves are celebrating a festival. At Latian altars see conglob'd mankind, Joint vows and lo's for its lord to pay. Such joys to man alone were ne'er assign'd : The gods themselves do sacrifice to-day. Mphinsfon. V. TO MACER. You have given so many rings to young ladies, Macer, that you have none left for yourself.^ ^ You are deprived of your equestrian ring and dignity, for which youi fortune has ceased to be sufficient. 852 jmaetial's \'ou give so many girls a ring, That you yourself have no such thing. Hay. YI. ON EUCTTTS. There is nothing more hateful than the antique vases of old Euctus. I prefer cups made of Saguntine clay. When the garrulous old man boasts the pedigrees of his smoky silver vessels, he makes even the wine seem musty with his talk. " These cups belonged to the table of Laomedon ; to obtain which Apollo raised the walls of Troy by the sound of his lyre. With this goblet fierce Ehoecus rushed to battle with the Lapithas ; you see that the work has suffered in the struggle. This double vase is celebrated for having belonged to the aged jS'estor ; the doves upon it have been worn bright by the thumb of the hero of Pylos. This is the tankard in which Achilles ordered wine to be pre- pared for his friends with more than ordinary copiousness and strength. In this bowl the beauteous Dido drank the health of Bitias, at the entertainment given to the Phrygian hero." When you have done admiring all these trophies of ancient art, you will have to drink Astyanax in the cups of Priam. ^ In leathern jack to drink much less I hate, Than in Sir William's antique set of plate. He tells the gasconading pedigree, Till the wine turns insipid too as he. " This tumbler, in the world the oldest toy," Says he, " was brought by Brute himself from Troy. That handled cup, and which is larger far, A present to my father from the Czar : See how 't is bruis'd, and the work broken off; 'T Avas when he flung it at Prince Menzikoff. The other with the cover, which is less, Was once the property of good Queen Bess : In it she pledg'd duke dAlen9on, then gave it To Drake, my wife's great uncle : so we have it. The bowl, the tankard, flagon, and the beaker. Were my great-grandfather's, when he was Speaker." What pity 't is, that plate so old and fine Should correspond no better with the wine. Hay. ^ You will have to drink new wine out of old cups. BOOK VIII.] IPiaRAMS. 353 TIT. TO CINNA. Is this pleading causes, Cinna ? Is this speaking eloquently, to say nine words in ten hours ? Just now you asked with a loud voice for four more clepsydrae. ^ "What a long time you take to say nothing, Cinna ! Cinna, is this to plead ? and wisely say Only nine words in ten hours of the day ? But with a mighty voice thou crav'st for thee The hour-glass twice two times reversed to be : Cinna, how great 's thy taciturnity ! Fletcher. VIII. TO JANrS, OS DOMITIAN's EETUEN IK JANTJAET Although, Janus, thou givest birth to the swiftly-rolling years, and recallest with thy presence centuries long past ; and although thou art the first to be celebrated with pious in- cense, saluted with vows, and adorned with the auspicious purple and with every honour ; yet thou preferrest the glory, whiich has just befallen our city, of beholding its god return in thy own month. Dread guardian of the infant year, That opens, but in act to fly ; Who bidd'st us still the last revere, And keep it in reflexive eye : Though thee the primal incense hail. Though thee invoke the early vow ; Glad purple fan thee with her gale, To thee each honour awful bow : It more bespoke thy gracious nod, As blessing more the Latian town. To see thy month bring back a god, Who could the wish of nations crown. Elphinston. IX. TO QIJINTIJS. Hylas, the blear-eyed, lately offered to pay you three quar- ters of his debt ; now that he has lost one eye he offers you half Hasten to take it ; the opportunity for getting it may soon pass, for if Hylas should become blind, he will pay you nothing. Nine ounces blear-ey'd Hylas would have paid : Now dusk he tenders half thy debt delay'd : 1 See B. vi. Ep. 35. 2a 354 ma.etial's I Take his next oflFer : gain's occasion 's short : If he prove blind, thou wilt have nothing for't. Fletcher. X. OK BASSTJS. Bassus has bought a cloak for ten thousand sesterces ; a Tyrian one of the very best colour. He has made a good bar- gain. " Is it then," you ask, "so very cheap ? " Yes ; for he will not pay for it. His lordship bought his last gay birth-day dress, And gay it was, for fourscore pound, or less. Is he so good at buying cheap ? you say — Extremely good : for he does never pay. Hay. Gay Bassus for ten thousand bought A Tyrian robe of rich array. And was a gainer. How ? Be taught : The prudent Bassus did not pay. Westminster Review, Apr. 1853. XT. TO DOMITIAIf. The Hhine now knows that you have arrived in your own city ; for he too hears the acclamations of your people. Even the Sarmatian tribes, and the Danube, and the Gretas, have been startled by the loudness of our recent exultations. "While the prolonged expressions of joy in the sacred circus greeted you, no one perceived that the horses had started and run four times. No ruler, Csesar, has E-ome ever so loved before, and she could not love you more, even were she to desire it. That Caesar's come to Rome the Ehine does know, So far, so fast, the people's voices go ; Their iterated shouts the Scythians fright, All nations, whom their joy does not delight. While in the cirque their Salve's welcome thee, The races they regard not, though they see. No prince, thyself, was e'er so lov'd before ; Rome, if she would, she could not love thee more. Atwn. 1695. XII. TO PHISCUS, Do you ask why I am unwilling to marry a rich wife ? It is because I am unwilling to be taken to husband by my wife. The mistress of the house should be subordinate to her hus- EOOK Yin.] , EPIGRAMS. 355 band, for in no other way, Priscus, will tlie wife and husband be on an equality. Dost ask why I'd not marry a rich wife ? I '11 not be subject in that double strife. Let matrons to their heads inferior be, Else man and wife have no equality. Fletcher. Why a rich bride I would not choose To lead home, do you ask ? Why truly an uxorious noose Is no such pleasant task ! Oh, Edward, let the husband be Superior to the wife. As otherwise they '11 disagree And live in endless strife. Rev. Mr. Scoif, 1773. XIII. TO GAEaiLIANTJS. I bought what you called a fool for twenty thousand ses- terces. Beturn me my money, Grargilianus ; he is no fool at all. I bought him 'cause you said a fool he'd bee : Pay back my money ; hee's too wise for mee. Old MS. IGtJi Cent. XIV. TO A EEIEND. That your tender Cilician fruit trees may not suffer from frost, and that too keen a blast may not nip your young plants, glass frame-works, opposed to the wintry south winds, admit the sunshine and pure light of day without any detri- mental admixture. But to me a cell is assigned with un- glazed windows, in which not even Boreas himself would like to dwell. Is it thus, cruel man, that you would have your old friend live ? I should be better shelter' d as the com- panion of your trees. Your oranges and myrtles, with what cost. You guard against the nipping winds and frost ! The absent sun the constant stoves repair : Windows admit his beams without the air. My garret too hath windows, but not glasses ; Where Boreas never stays, but often passes. For shame ! to let an old acquaintance freeze ! I had much better live amongst your trees. Hai/. 2 A 2 356 maetial's XT, TO DOMITIAN". While the newly-acquired glory of the Pannonian campaign is the universal theme of conversation, and while every altar is offering propitious sacrifices to our Jupiter on his return, the people, the grateful knights, the senate, offer incense ; and largesses from you for the third time enrich the E-oman tribes. These modest triumphs, too, Eome will celebrate ; nor will your laurels gained in peace be less glorious than your former triumphs in war, inasmuch as you feel assured of the sacred affection of your people. It is a prince's greatest virtue to know his own subjects. While the Pannonian war new glory sends, And ev'ry altar coming Jove attends ; The people, knights, and fathers, blend the song ; And the third boons enrich the Latian throng. Rome shall thy modest triumphs mad express : Nor shall the laurel of thy peace be less. What joy, from piety combin'd, must flow ! A prince's honour is his own to know. Elphitiston. XYI. TO CIPEETJS. You, Cyperus, who were long a baker, now plead causes, and are seeking to gain two hundred thousand sesterces. But you squander what you get, and even go so far as to borrow more. You have not quitted your former profession, Cyperus : you make both bread and flour. Long you bak'd, and no one wonder'd : Now you plead, and ask two hundred. Still you waste, and still you borrow ; That, C)^erus, proves our sorrow. Baker still, though somewhat musty, Bread you make, and stiU are dusty. Elphinston. XVII. TO SEXTUS. I pleaded your cause, Sextus ; having agreed to do so for two thousand sesterces. How is it that you have sent me only a thousand? "You said nothing," you tell me; "and the cause was lost through you." You ought to give me so much the more, Sextus, as I had to blush for you. You said, ten guineas when your cause was done : What ? do you think to fobb me off with one ? BOOK YIII.] EPIGEAMS. 357 Now you pretend that I could nothing say. The more you owe, my blushes to repay. Hay. XYIII. TO CIEINITJS. If, Cirinius, you were to publish your epigrams, you might be my equal, or even my superior, in the estimation of the reading public; but such is the respect you entertain for your old friend, that his reputation is dearer to you than your own. Just so did Virgil abstain from the style of the Cala- brian Horace, although he was well able to excel even the odes of Pindar, and so too did he resign to Yarius the praise of the Eoman buskin, although he could have declaimed with more tragic power. Grold, and wealth, and estates, many a friend will bestow ; one who consents to yield the palm in genius, is rare. So smooth your numbers, friend, your verse so sweet, So sharp the jest, and yet the tone so neat, That with her INIartial Rome would place Cirine, Rome would prefer your sense and thouglit to mine. Yet modest you decline the public stage, To fix your friend alone amid th' apjjlauding age. So Maro did ; the mighty Maro sings In vast heroic notes of vast heroic things. And leaves the ode to dance upon his Flaccus' strings. He scorn'd to daunt the dear Horatian lyre, Though his brave genius flash'd Pindaric fire, And at his will could silence all the \\x\c quire. So to his Varius he resign'd the praise Of the proud buskin and the tragic bays, When he could thunder with a loftier vein, And sing of gods and heroes in a bolder strain. A handsome treat, a piece of gold, or so, And compHments, will every friend bestow : Rarely a Virgil, a Cirine we meet, Who lays his laurels at inferior feet. And yields the tenderest point of honour, wit. Dr. Watts, Horce Lyricce. In epigram so happy is your strain, You might be read, and I might write in vain : But your regard to friendship so sincere. Your own applause, than mine, you hold less dear. So Maro left to Flaccus Pindar's flight, Able himself to soar a nobler height : 358 MA.ETIAL S And, warm'd witli a superior tragic rage, To Varius gave tlie honour of the stage. Priends oft to friends in other points submit ; Few yield the glory of the field in wit. Hay. XIX. 01!^ CINNA. Cinna wishes to seem poor, and is poor. Cinna does always act the poor man's part, And is nott worth a groat. What needes such art ? Old 3fS. 16th Cent. Hal says he 's poor, in hopes you '11 say he 's not ; But take his word for 't ; Hal 's not worth a groat. jRev. R. Graves. XX. TO YAEUS. Though you write two hundred verses every day, "Varus, you recite nothing in public. You are unwise, and yet you are wise. Each day you make two hundred verses, sott, But none recite : you 're wise, and you are nott. Old 3IS. I6th Cent. You mak e two hundred verses in a trice ; But publish none : — The man is mad and wise. JTay. XXI. TO THE MOEIfllfG STAR. Phosphorus (Morning Star) , bring back the day ; why dost thou delay our joys ? "When Csesar is about to return, Phos- phorus, bring back the day. Eome implores thee. Is it that the sluggish wain of the tame Bootes is carrying thee, that thou comest with axle so slow ? Thou shouldst rather snatch Cyllarus from Leda's twins ; Castor himself would to-day lend thee his horse. Why dost thou detain the impatient Titan ? Already Xanthus and ^thon long for the bit, and the benign parent of Memnon is up and ready. Yet the lingering stars refuse to retreat before the shining light, and the moon is eager to behold the Ausouian ruler. Come, CaBsar, even though it be night : although the stars stand still, day will not be absent from thy people when thou comest. Phosphor, bring light; why dost our joys delay? Csesar 's to come ; Phosphor, bring on the day. Rome begs it. Art drawn in Bootes' team, Thou mov'st so slowly with a lazy beam ? BOOK Tin.] EPIGRAMS. 359 Castor will not refuse that thou shoiild'st mount His swift-foot Cyllaros on this account. Impatient Titan why dost thou detain ? Xanthus and ^Ethon both desire the rein ; Aurora waits ; yet ling'ring stars there be, As if the moon th' Ausonian king would see ! Come, Cffisar, though in night let stars delay: When thou art here, we shall not want a day. Anon. 1695. XXII. TO GALLICTJS. Tou invite me, Grallicus, to partake of a wild boar ; you place before me a home-fed pig. I am a hybrid, Gallicus, if you can deceive me. You bid to a boar, and you treat with a hog. You make us both mongrels, if thus you're a dog. I^ljjhinston. XXIII. TO ETJSTICUS. I seem to you cruel and too much addicted to gluttony, when I beat my cook for sending up a bad dinner. If that appears to you too trifling a cause, say for what cause you would have a cook flogged ? On me as sterne and gluttonous you looke, 'Cause for my supper spoyl'd I beate my cooke : If this fault you think slight, nor worth a blow, For what else should a cooke be beaten ? Show. Old MS. 16th Cent. XXIY. TO DOMITIAK. If I chance in my timid and slender book to make any request of thee, grant it, unless my pages are too presump- tuous. Or, if thou dost not grant it, Caesar, still permit it to be made ; Jupiter is never oftended by incense and prayers. It is not he who fashions divine images in gold or marble, that makes them gods, but he who ofiers supplications to them. If I in fear chance to petition thee, If I 'm not impudent, vouchsafe it me. If thou 'It not grant, deign to be ask'd in love, Incense and prayers ne'er offended Jove. " He that an image frames in gold or stone Makes not a god j he that kneels, makes it one." Fletcher. 360 maettal's xxy. to oppiantis. You have seen me very ill, Oppianus, only once : I shall often see you so.^ You saw me ill one day, you tell, Oppian. I never see you well. Anon. XXVI. TO DOMITIAN. The huntsman on the banks of the Ganges, looking pale as he fled on his Hyrcanian steed, never stood in fear, ainid the Eastern fields, of so many tigers as thy Eome, O Ger- manicus, has lately beheld. She could not even count the objects of her delight. Your arena, Caesar, has surpassed the triumphs of Bacchus among the Indians, and the wealth and magnificence of the conquering deity ; for Bacchus, when he led the Indians captive after his chariot, was content with a single pair of tigers. On Ganges' banks, who spoils the wood or mead, And paly flies on the Hyrcanian steed, Ne'er saw, Germanic, as thy Rome, such sights : Nor can she number all her new delights. The Erythrean triumphs yield to thine ; The pow'r terrestrial and the wealth divine ; For, when the car the captive Indians trod, A brace of tigers drew the victor-god. Elphinston, XXYII. TO GAUEUS. He who makes presents to you, Gaurus, rich and old as you are, says plainly, if you have but sense and can under- stand him, "Die!" Gaurus, he that doth gifts bestow On thee, both rich and old. If thou art wise thou needs must know He 'd have thee dead and cold. Fletcher. Who gives you gifts, being rich and old, doth cry, Gaurus, to thee I give these gifts to die. Wright. You 're rich and old ; to you they presents send : Don't you perceive they bid you die, my friend ? Hay. XXVIII. TO A TOQA, GIVEN HIM BY PAETHENIUS. Say, toga, rich present from my eloquent friend, of what flock wert thou the ornament and the glory ? Did the grass ' See B. vii. Ep. 4. I shall see you often looking pale. I BOOK VIII.] EPIGRAMS. 361 of Apulia and Ledsean Phalantus ^ spring up for thee, where Galsesus irrigates the fields with waters from Calabria ? Or did the Tartessian Gruadalquivir, the nourisher of the Iberian fold, wash thee, when on the back of a lamb of Hesperia ? Or has thy wool counted the mouths of the divided Timavus,^ of which the affectionate CjUarus, now numbered with the stars, once drank? Thee it neither befitted to be stained with Amyclaean dye, nor was Miletus worthy to receive thy fleece. Thou surpassest in whiteness the lily, the budding flower of the privet, and the ivory which glistens on the hill of Tivoli.^ The swan of Sparta and the doves of Paphos must yield to thee ; and even the pearl fished from the Indian seas. But though this be a present that vies with new-born snows, it is not more pure than its giver Parthenius. I would not prefer to it the embroidered stufis of proud Babylon, de- corated with the needle of Semiramis ; I should not admire myself more if dressed in the golden robe of Athamas, could Phrixus give me his ^olian fleece.'^ But oh what laughter will my worn-out ragged cloak excite, when seen in company with this regal toga ! Say, grateful gift of mine ingenious friend, What happy flock shall to thy fleece pretend ? For thee did herb of fam'd Phalantus blow, Where glad Galesus bids his waters flow ? Or did Tartessian Baetis also lave Thy matchless woof, in his Hesperian wave ? Did thy wool number streamlets more than seven, Of him who slak'd the warrior-horse of heaven ? Amyclse's bane ne'er harrow'd up thy hair : Miletus never boasted fleece so fair. To thee the lily fades, the privet 's pale ; And all the blanching pow'rs of Tibur fail. The Spartan swan the Paphian doves deplore, The pearls their hue on Erythrean shore. ^ The pastures of Tarentum, laid out by Phalanthus the Lacedaemonian, who was descended from Leda. See B. v. Ep. 37. 2 A river of the north of Italy, running into the Adriatic, at which Cyllarus, Castor's horse, drank, when he passed the mouth of it, as it is said, among the Argonauts. 2 The ivory in the temple of Hercules is probably meant. Comp. B. iv. Ep. 62. * The golden fleece of Phrixus the son of Athamas and grandson of iEolus. 362 maetial's But, though the boon leave new-fall'n snows behind, It is not fairer than the donor's mind. A Babylonish vest I 'd ne'er pursue, A vest the Semiramian pencil drew ; Old Athamas's gold I'd proudly mock, Would Phrixus give me an -^olian flock. Yet oh ! what laughter will the contrast crown ! My threadbare cloak upon th' imperial gown ! JElphinston. XXIX. ON DISTICHS. He who writes distichs, wishes, I suppose, to please by brevity. But, tell me, of what avail is their brevity, when there is a whole book full of them ? Who distichs writes to brevity does look : But Where's the brevity, if 't fills a book. Anon. 1695. You hope in distichs brevity may please : A book of distichs gives us no great ease. Hay. XXX. OlS- THE SPECTACLE OE SCiEYOLA ^ BUBIflNG HIS HAND. The spectacle which is now presented to us on Caesar's arena, was the great glory of the days of Brutus. See how bravely the hand bears the flames. It even enjoys the punishment, and reigns in the astonished fire ! Scsevola himself appears as a spectator of his own act, and applauds the noble destruction of his right hand, which seems to luxuriate in the sacrificial fire ; and unless the means of suffering had been taken away from it against its will, the left hand was still more boldly preparing to meet the van- quished flames. I am unwilling, after so glorious an action, to inquire what he had done before ; it is sufficient for me to have witnessed the fate of his hand. He who cheife glory was of Brutus' age, Is now become the sport of Caesar's stage : See how he grasps the flames, enjoys his paynes, How in th' astonish'd fire his bold hand reignes ! His own spectator, unconcern'd, doth stand ! Loves, and e'en feeds o' th' sacrifice of 's hand ! So much that (if not ravish'd from 't) he'd tyre With his more bold left hand the weary'd fyre. ^ A malefactor was compelled to act the part of Scoevola, as others had been obliged to act those of Prometheus, Daedalus, Orpheus, and others. See Spectac. Ep. 7, 8, 21. BOOK Till.] EPIGEAMS. 363 No matter what this hand's forfeit has beene, Enough to me this gallant act t' have seen. Old 3IS. IQth Cent. XXXI. TO DENTO. You make a pretty confession about yourself, Dento, when, after taking a wife, you petition for the rights of a father of three children.^ But cease to importune the em- peror, and return, though a little behind time, to your own country ; for, after so long seeking three children far away from your deserted wife, you will find four at home. Thou know'st not, Dento, what thou dost give leave To men pleasantly of thee to conceive : Who begg'st that grace, as soon as thou art wed, Which should be giv'n thee from the marriage-bed. But with requests to tire the prince forbear, And to thy long-left wife and home repair ; Who, while at Rome thou'rt suing on the score Of having three sons, will have brought thee four. Anon. 1695. XXXTI. OjS^ the dove OP AEETTJLLA, WHOSE BEOTHEE WAS EXILED TO SAEDIIflA. A gentle dove, gliding down through the silent air, settled in the very lap of Aretulla as she was sitting. This might have seemed the mere sport of chance, had it not rested there, although undetained, and refused to depart, even when the liberty of flight was granted it. If it is permitted to the affectionate sister to hope for better things, and if prayers can avail to move the lord of the world, this bird is perhaps come to thee from the dwelling of the exile in Sardinia, to announce the speedy return of thy brother. A dove soft glided through the air, On Aretulla's bosom bare. This might seem chance, did she not stay, Nor would permissive wing her way. But, if a pious sister's vows The master of mankind allows ; This envoy of Sardoan skies, From the returning exile flies. Elphinston. • SeeB.ii. Ep. 91, 92. 364 MARTIAJU'S XXXIII. TO PAULirS, OS RECEIVING EEOM HIM A CUP OF VERT THIN METAL. You send me, Paulus, a leaf from a Praetor's crown, and give it the name of a wine-cup. Some toy of the stage has perhaps recently been covered with this thin substance, and a dash of pale saffron-water washed it off. Or is it rather a piece of gilding scraped off (as I think it may be) by the nail of a cunning servant from the leg of your couch r Why, it is moved by a gnat flying at a distance, and is shaken by the wing of the tiniest butterfly. The flame of the smallest lamp makes it flit about, and it would be broken by the least quantity of wine poured into it. With some such crust as this the date is covered, which the ill-dressed client carries to his patron, with a small piece of money, on the first of January. The bean of Egypt produces filaments less flexible ; and lilies, which fall before an excessive sun, are more sub- stantial. The wandering spider does not disport upon a web so fine, nor does the hanging silk-worm produce a work so slight. The chalk lies thicker on the face of old PabuUa ; the bubble swells thicker on the agitated wave. , The net which enfolds a girl's twisted hair is stronger, and the Batavian foam which changes the colour of Eoman locks is thicker. With skin such as this the chick in the Ledsean egg is clothed : such are the patches which repose upon the senator's forehead. Why did you send me a wine-cup, when you might have sent me a small ladle, or a spoon even r* But I speak too grandly ; when you might have sent me a snail-shell ; or in a word, when you might have sent me nothing at all, Paulus ? As thinn as March-payne flaggs you sent mee, Paul, A cupp, which you a gobblett needs must call : With such thinn stuff gilt pageants wee o'erlay, Which saffron water washes streight away : Such plate as your light-finger'd page with's nayles Scrapes from your bed-poast when his money fayles. So thinn 'tis, that a gnatt's wing passing by, Shakes it at distance, or least butterfly. With candle's smoak it takes a doubtful flight. Least drop of wine infus'd dissolves it quite. With such are nutmeggs gilt, that clownes present At Christmas to their landlords with their rent. BOOK YIII.] EPIGEAMS. 305 Greene beane-stocks pill'd so thin a leafe can't runn, Nor lilly's leaves that fall with too much sunn. From busie spider's loome no such small thred, Or pendulous silkworme's womb, is borrowed. The troubled water's bubble is more thick, Or paint which on Fabulla's cheek doth stick ; A stronger caule keeps in her curled hayre, And thicker lather makes her tresses fayre : Her half-moon'd beauty-spots are nott so thinn ; Chickins i' th' egg are cloath'd with such a skinn. Why then a goblett ? when you might have sent A ladle, or as well a spoon present ? I speake too bigg — might it a thimble call ? Nay, when you needed not have sent at all ? Old MS, \6th Cent. XXXIV. TO A BOASTER. Tou say that you have a piece of plate which is an original work of Mys. That rather is an original, in the making of which you had no hand. Thy cup thou as a true antique dost show : What thou'dst no hand in making, may be so. Anon. XXXV. TO A BAD COUPLE. Since you are so well matched, and so much alike in your lives, a very bad vdfe, and a very bad husband, I wonder that you do not agree. When as you are so like in life, A wicked husband, wicked wife, I wonder you should live at strife. Old MS. IQth Cent. Both man and wife as bad as bad can be, I wonder they no better should agree. Hay. Who says that Giles and Joan at discord be ? Th' observing neighbours no such mood can see. Indeed poor Giles repents he married ever ; But that his Joan doth too. And Giles would never By his free will be in Joan's company ; No more would Joan he should. Giles riseth early. And having got him out of doors, is glad : The like is Joan. But turning home is sad. And so is Joan. Oft-times when Giles doth find Harsh sights at home, Giles wisheth he were blind ; 366 MAETIAL S All this doth Joan. Or that his long-yearn'd life "Were quite out-spun ; the like wish hath his wife. The children that he keeps Giles swears are none Of his begetting ; and so swears his Joan. In all affections she concurreth still : If now, with man and wife, to Mdll and nill The self-same things, a note of concord be, I know no couple better can agree. Ben Jonson. XXXTI. TO DOMITIAI^, OK HIS PALACE. Smile, Caesar, at the miraculous pyramids of Egyptian kings ; let barbarian Memphis now be silent concerning her eastern monuments. How insignificant are the labours of ^gypt compared to the Parrhasian palace ! ^ The god of day looks upon nothing in the whole world more splendid. Its seven towers seem to rise together like seven mountains ; Ossa was less lofty surmounted by the Thessalian Pelion. It so penetrates the heavens, that its pinnacle, encircled by the glittering stars, is undisturbed by thunder from the clouds below, and receives the rays of Phoebus before the nether world illumined, and before even Circe ^ beholds the face of her rising father. Yet though this Palace, Augustus, whose summit touches the stars, rivals heaven, it is not so great as its lord. Smile, Caesar, at the pyramids' loud fame ; Memphis no more thy barb'rous wonders name ; Th' Egj'ptian works reach not the smallest part Of the Parrhasian court's majestic art: No such illustrious piece the day does show ; Nor Sol in's universal travels know. Seven vast pavilions, like seven mountains, rise, Pelion on Ossa scal'd not so the skies ; Thunder and clouds beneath, th' aspiring top Enters the heavens, and 'gainst the stars does knock; The sun salutes it with his early'st ray, On highest hills 'tis night, when here 'tis day. Thy palace, 'bove th' Olympian though renown'd, Unto its lord is not yet equal found. Anon. 1695. XXXYII. TO POLTCHARMUS, WHO AFFECTED LIBERALITY. When you have given up to Caietanus his bond, do you imagine that you have made him a present of ten thousand 1 See B. vii. Ep. 55. '^ The promontory of Circe, called tlie Daughter of the Sion. BOOK VIII.] EPIGRAMS. c67 sesterces? "He owed me that sum," you say. Keep the bond, Polycharmus, and lend Caietanus two thousand.^ Because to Catch his bond you render'd have. Think you thereby a hundred pound you gave ? He owed so much, you'll say — your bond he'll send, So you '11 the t'other forty shillings lend. Old 31 S. IQth Cent. You gave Jack up his judgment and his bond : Have you then given Jack a hundred pound ? You say, he ow'd it : he will both restore, Let him but owe you for a hundred more. Hay- XXXVIII. TO MELIOR, O'S HIS TEIBTJTE TO THE MEMOET OE THE NOTARY BL^STJS. He who makes presents with persevering attention to one who can make a return for his liberality, is perhaps angling for a legacy, or seeking some other return. But if any one perseveres in giving to the name which alone remains after death and the tomb, what does he seek but a mitigation of his grief ? It makes a difference whether a man is, or only wishes to seem, good. Ton are good, Melior, and Fame knows it, in that you anxiously prevent with solemn rites the name of the buried Blsesus from perishing : and what you profusely give from your munificent coffers to the observant and affec- tionate company of notaries to keep his natal day, you bestow purely on Blaesus' memory. This honour will be paid you for many a year, as long as your life shall last, and will con- tinue to be paid after your death. With zealous seeming love who gives To one who feels the good, and lives, May lay a bayte returnes t'engage : Butt whose devotions to the dead Doe persevere, what can we say Hee seekes, but his greifes to allay ? 'Tis better bee, than seeme, good : you That good report challenge as due, Who with such strict solemnity Suffer nott the dead's name to dye ; But doe with profuse bounty pay ^■■ (To celebrate your boy's birth-day) Large summs t' his fellow pages, who By those remember him and you : 1 Compare B. ix. Ep. 102. 368 maettal's So lasting tributes while you live, And after death, t' yourself you give. Old MS. 16th Cent. Presents to living friends may have an eye To greater favours, or a legacy. Expenses, lavished after their decease, May be perhaps to give our sorrows ease. Perhaps 'tis vanity : 'tis not the same. To covet and to merit a good name. All know, each year you costly tribute pay, To celebrate great AVilliam's natal day : All know, immortal is his memory. Can you, then, fear his memory may die ? Illuminations, liquor to the town, Add not to his, but may to your renown. The tale may now among your neighbours spread ; But soon will die away, when you are dead. JIay. XXXIX. TO DOMITIAT^, ON HIS PALACE. 3 There was previously no place that could accommodate the feasts and ambrosial entertainments of the Palatine table. Here thou canst duly quaff the sacred nectar, Grermanicus, and drain cups mixed by the hand of thy Ganymede. May it be long, I pray, before thou becomest the guest of the Thunderer ; or, if thou, Jupiter, art in haste to sit at table vrith Domitian, come hither thyself! For those that eat the court's ambrosial fare. Spacious enough the rooms not lately were. The structure now adds to the wine a grace, "Which Ganymedes pour forth in ev'ry place. Rome does implore, Jove's guest thou late wou'd'st be ; Or, if impatient, that he 'd sup with thee. Aiion. 1695. XL. TO PEIAPUS. O Priapus, guardian, not of a garden, nor of a fruitful vine, but of this little grove, from v^hich you vrere made and may be made again, I charge you, keep from it all thievish hands, and preserve the wood for its master's fire. If this should fall short, you wiU find that you yourself are but wood. I care not that the task is thine To tend the garden's gen'rous vine, But warn thee with a guardian's love — Priapus, watch my little grove : BOOK VIII.] EPIGEAMS. 369 The grove from whose parental shade Thou wast and may again be made. Bid ev'ry pilf ring hand retire : Preserve the trees for Martial's fire. Fail but my grove, thyself must burn, And, once a log, 'mongst logs return. E. B. Greene, 1774. XLI. TO TArSTINUS. Athenagoras sajs he is sorry that he has not sent me the presents which he usually sends in the middle of Decem- ber. I shall see, Paustinus, whether Athenagoras is sorry ; certainly Athenagoras has made me sorry. You 're sorry you forgot to send, you say, My usual present upon New-year's day. Whether you sorry are, 'tis time must ^how : It certain is, that you have made me so. Hay. XLII. TO MATHO, ON SENDING HIM A SPOETULA. If a larger sportula has not attracted you to those who are more favoured by fortune, as is usually the case, you may take a hundred baths, Matho, from my sportula.^ If not, seduc'd by higher bribe. Thou blessest now the blessed tribe j My little sportule so sublimes, She bids thee bathe a hundred times. JElphinston. XLIII. ON EABIUS AND CHEESTILLA. Fabius buries his wives, Chrestilla her husbands ; each shakes a faneral torch over the nuptial couch. Unite these conquerors, Yenus, and the result will then be that Libitina will carry them both off" together. Five wives hath he dispatch' d, she husbands five : By both alike the undertakers thrive. Venus assist ! let them join hands in troth ! One common funeral, then, would serve them both. Say. To the Hon. Thomas Webb and Lady Dorothy his wife, near Fortman Square. While Tom and Dolly many mates Do carry ofi" ('tis said) ^ The sportula was a hundred quadrantes, and a quadrans, equal to about half a farthing, was the price of an ordinary bath. 2 B 370 maetial's Each shakes by turns (so will the Fates) The Fun'ral torch in bed. Oh fie, ma'am, Venus, end this rout, Commit them to the Fleet, And grant they may be carried out, Both buried with one sheet. Rev. Mr. Scott, 1773. XLIY. TO TITTJLLTJS. I admonish you, TituUus, enjoy life ; it is already late to do so ; it is late, even to begin under the schoolmaster. But you, miserable TituUus, are not even enjoying life in your old age, but wear out every threshold with morning calls, and all the forenoon are covered with perspiration, and slobbered with the kisses of the whole city. You wander through the three forums,^ in face of all the equestrians, the temple of Mars, and the colossus of Augustus ; you are run- ning about everywhere from the third to the fifth hour.^ Grasp, accumulate, spare, and hoard as you will, you must leave all behind you. Though the splendid cofier be pale^ with closely packed silver coins, though a hundred pages of kalends^ be filled with your debtors' names, yet your heir will swear that you have left nothing, and, whilst you^re ly- ing upon your bier or on the stones, while the pyre stuffed with papyrus is rising for you, he will insolently patronize your weeping eunuchs ; and your sorrowing son, whether you like it or not, will caress your favourite the very first night after your funeral. 'Tis late : begin to Uve, old gentleman : It would be late, if you at school began. You a long race of misery have run ; But have not yet the race of life begun. Your every morning is in labour spent, This man to dun, or that to compliment. With dirty stockings you to Hall resort, A well-known party now in every court. Through every quarter of the town you range, Guild-hall, the Bank, the Custom-house, the 'Change. Heap, scrape, oppress, use every fraudful art ; Oh ! dismal thought ! your wealth and you must part ! 1 See B. iii. Ep. 38. 2 From sunrise ; between nine and eleven of our time. ^ In allusion to the colour of the silver. * On the Kalends, or first day of the month, interest was paid. BOOK VIII.] EPiaEAMS. 371 Of cash and mortgages though huge your store Your graceless son will wonder 'tis no more. And when the plumes shall o'er your coffin wave, And Sable's venal train attend your grave, Chief mourner he, and heir to your embrace. Shall with your whore that night supply your place. Hay. XLV. TO TLACCrS, ON THE EETUEN OF PEISCTJS TEEENTITJS. Priscus Terentius, my dear Flaccus, is restored to me from the coast of Sicily ; let a milk-white gem mark this day. Let the contents of this amphora, diminished by the lapse of a hundred consulships,^ flow forth, and let it grow brighter, turbid as it now is, strained through the purifying linen.^ When will a night so auspicious cheer my board ? When will it be mine to be warmed with wine so fitly quaffed ? When Cytherean Cyprus shall restore you, Elaccus, to me, I shall have equally good reason for such indulgence. My Priscus, lo ! returned from -Etna's height ! The gem, that marks this day, be purest white. Flow, fining cask, from out the deep recess : The hundredth consul has just made it less. When shall with such a joy my table shine ? When feel the fervours of so fair a wine ? When Cyprus thee, my Flaccus, shall restore, Wise luxury again shall have her lore. Elphinston. XLVI. TO CESTUS. How great is thy innocent simplicity, how great the childish beauty of thy form, youthful Cestus, more chaste than the young Hippolytus ! Diana might covet thy society, and Doris desire to bathe with thee : Cybele would prefer to have thee all to herself instead of her Phrygian Atys. Thou mightest have succeeded to the couch of Ganymede, but thou, cruel boy, wouldest have given kisses only to thy lord. Happy the bride who shall move the heart of so tender a husband, and the damsel who shall first make thee feel that thou art a man ' 1 Wine was supposed to suffer some diminution in bulk from being kept long. 2 It was considered also to grow thick, and require straining. 2 B 2 372 maetial's How great 's thy virtue, and thy form how rare ! Theseus' chaste son cannot with thee compare. For all the glory of her virgin name, To bathe with thee, Diana, would not shame. And whom might Cybele alone enjoy, She would prefer before her Phrygian boy. Ganymede's place didst thou to Jove supply, • Juno thou would'st redeem from jealousy. Happy 's the maid shall thy soft breast mflame. And give thee first a man's and husband's name. Anon. 1695. XLVn. TO ONE WHO AEEANGED HIS BEAED IN THEEE DIEFEEENT WATS. Part of your face is clipped, part shaven, part has the hair pulled out. "Who would think that you have but one head ? Part of thy hair is shorn, part shaved to thee. Part pull'd : who '11 think it but one head to be? Fletcher. While your cheeks are part shav'd, scrap'd, and part pluck'd away. Who the devil can think you've but one head, I pray ? Bev, Mr ScoU, 1773. XLVIII. ON THE STOLEN CLOAK OF CEISPINITS. Crispinus does not know to whom he gave his Tynan mantle, when he changed his dress at the bath, and put on his toga. "Whoever thou art that hast it, restore to his shoulders, I pray thee, their honours ; it is not Crispinus, but his cloak, that makes this request. It is not for every- one to wear garments steeped in purple dye ; that colour is suited only to opulence. If booty and the vicious craving after dishonourable gain possess you, take the toga, for that will be less likely to betray you. WTien at the bath Crispinus did undress, To whom he gave his robe he cannot guess. Restore the spoil, whoever has it, pray. Not this Crispinus, but the robe, does say. A scarlet gowTi is not for all men's wear, WTio are not noble, this rich dye forbear. If theft delights thee, a dishonest prize. Avoid what will betray thee, if thou 'rt wise. Anon. 1695. BOOK VIII.] EPIGEAMS. 373 XLIX. OS ASPEE. Asper loves a damsel; she is handsome certainly, but he is'blind. Evidently then, such being the case, Asper loves better than he sees. BHnd Asper loves a lass that beauteous is, And, as it seems, he loves more than he sees. Fletcher. L. TO C^SAE. Great as is reported to have been the feast at the triumph over the giants, and glorious as was to all the gods that night on which the kind father sat at table with the inferior deities, and the Eauns were permitted to ask wine from Jove ; so grand are the festivals that celebrate thy victories, O Caesar; and our joys enliven the gods themselves. All the knights, the people, and the senate, feast with you, and Eome partakes of ambrosial repasts with her ruler. Thou promisedst much; but how much more hast thou given! Only a sportula was promised, but thou hast set before us a splendid supper. As was that ovant feast, night swell' d with joy, After that Jove the giants did destroy. And vulgar gods, together with the great, Benignly at his heavenly table treat ; And Fauns and SatjTS were allow'd to call Freely for nectar i' th' Olympian hall. Such was that genial feast, triumphant state, When Csesar did his laurel consecrate. And gods, as well as men, exhilarate. Patricians, people, knights, all Rome, did eat With their great lord of his ambrosian meat ; Great things thou promis'd, greater didst bestow ; Not for a dole, but royal feast we owe. Anon. 1695. LI. ON A WINE-CTJP EECEIVED FEOM INSTANTIUS ETJEUS. Whose workmanship is displayed in this cup ? Is it that of the skilful Mys, or of Myron ? Is this the handiwork of Mentor, or thine, Polycletus ? No tarnish blemishes its brightness, its unalloyed metal is proof against the fire of the assayer. Pure amber radiates a less bright yeUovv than its metal; and the fineness of its chasing surpasses the carving on snowy ivory. Por the work is not inferior 374 MAETIAIi^S to the material ; it surrounds tlie cup, as the moon surrounds the earth, when she shines at the full with all her light. Em- bossed on it is a goat adorned with the ^olian fleece of the Theban Phrixus ; ^ a goat on which his sister would have pre- ferred to ride ; a goat which the Cinyphian shearer would not despoil of his hair, and which Bacchus himself would al- low to browse on his vine. On the back of tho animal sits a Cupid fluttering his golden wings ; and a Palladian flute made of the lotus seems to resound from his delicate lips. Thus did the dolphin, delighted with the Methymnsean Arion, convey his melodious rider through the tranquil waves. Let this splendid gift be filled for me with nectar worthy of it, not by the hand of a common slave, but by that of Cestus. Cestus, ornament of my table, mix the Setine wine ; the lovely boy and the goat that carries him both seem to be thirsty. Let the letters in the name of Instantius E-ufus determine the number of the cups that I am to drink ; for he is the donor of this noble present. If Telethusa comes and proffers me her promised entertainment, I shall confine myself, E-ufus, for the sake of my mistress, to the third part of the letters in your name;^ if she delays, I shall indulge in seven cups; if she disappoints me altogether, I shall, to drown my vexation, drain as many cups as there are letters in both your name and hers. What paynes, what skill, did this cupp's forme command ? Was't Myos', Myron's, or bold Mentor's hand? Cleare and untarnish'd no pale cloud it bears, The metal no fyre's searching tryall feares. The yellow gold pure amber doth outvie, The embossed silver whitest ivory. The skill equalls the stuff; such orbes combines As when the moone in her full lustre shines. There Phryxus' goat with 's golden fleece doth swim So lively, Helle 'd choose to ride on him ; So trim, no hair a barber needes, and thou, Bacchus, wouldst lett him browze on thy vine-bough. Cupid, with golden wings, sitting on 's back, With pipe in 's pretty mouth doth musick make : 1 See Ep. 28. 2 See B. vii. Ep. 95. ' To five cups ; there being fifteen letters in the two names Instantius Rufus. BOOK Till.] EPIGRAMS. , 375 With harp and voice so did Arion please The dolphin bearing him through toylsome seas. With richest nectar, worthy such a cup, Nott by a common hand, butt thine, fill'd up, Give't mee, deare Cestus, lovely boy ; meethinks Both goate and Cupid thirst for Setian drinks. To every letter of his name who gave Mee this so precious bowle, a round wee'U have. If Telethusa come, I must reserve Myself for those sweet joyes ; then five shall serve : If shee bee doubtful, sev'n ; if shee fayle quite, To drown my griefes, I'll drink both names outright. Old MS. I6tk Cent. LII. TO C^DICIANUS. Caedicianus, I lent my barber (a young man, but skilled in his art even beyond Nero's Thalamus, whose lot it was to clip the beards of the Drusi) to E/ufus, at his request, to make his cheeks smooth for once. But, at Eufus's orders, he was so long occupied in going over the same hairs again and again, consulting the mirror that guided his hand, cleaning the skin, and making a tedious second attack on the locks previously shorn, that my barber at last returned to me with his own beard full grown. A boy, of so consummate art, When call'd to play the barber's part, As had not for a rival fear'd The trimmer of a Nero's beard ; To smug the cheek of Rufus, once I lent ; nor deem'd myself a dunce. While o'er and o'er each hair he glides, A faithful glass his fingers guides ; And now he gives the skin to glow. While far and wide he draws the mow ; Behold a wondrous thing, and new ! The shaver's down a harvest grew. LIII. TO CATULLA. Most beautiful of all women that are or have been, but most worthless of all that are or have been, oh! how I wish, Catulla, that you could become less beautiful, or more chaste. So very fair ! and yet so very common ! Would you were plainer ! or a better woman ! Hay. 376 LIV. TO DOMITIAN. Although you make so many liberal donations, and promise even to exceed them, O conqueror of many leaders, as well as conqueror of yourself, you are not loved of the people, Caesar, for the sake of your bounties, but your bounties are loved by the people for your sake. Though thou givest great boons oft, and wilt give more, O king of kings, and thyself s conqueror ! The people love thee not 'cause they partake Thy blessings ; but thy blessings for thy sake. Fletcher. LY. TO DOMITIAN, OlS" HIS LION. Loud as are the roarings heard through the trackless regions of Massylia, when the forest is fiUed with innumerable raging lions, and when the pale shepherd recalls his astonished bulls and terrified flock to his Punic huts, so loud were ter- rific roarings lately heard in the E-oman arena. Who would not have thought they proceeded from a whole herd ? There was, however, only one lion, but one whose authority the lions them- selves would have respected with trembling, and to whom Numidia, abounding in variegated marble, would have given the palm. Oh what majesty sat upon his neck, what beauty did the golden shade of his arched neck display as it bristled ! How apt for large hunting spears was his broad chest, and what joy did he feel in so illustrious a death ! Whence, Libya, came so noble an ornament to thy woods ? From the car of Cybele? Or, rather, did thy brother, Germanicus, or thy father himself, send down the mighty animal from the con- stellation of Hercules ? ^ Like the amazing terrors which resound In Libyan pastures, and adjoining ground, When herds of lions rage in forests nigh, And make the fiercest bulls and shepherds fly Home to their holds, ready through fear to die : Such was the roaring late i' th' place of game ; A troop of lions seem'd to make the same ; It was but one, but one all else did dread. And paid subjection to his crowned head. Oh, what a horrid grace his neck did show ! Down to his feet his curled mane did flow : 1 The constellation Leo, which was fabled to be the Nemean lion slain by Hercules. BOOK VIII.] EPIGEAMS. 377 His large-spread breast for largest spears did call j Great was the fear and triumph at his fall. Like glory Libyan coasts ne'er sent before, Nor Ida ever saw in all her store : Was 't not the same t' Alcides gave renown, And by thy father from the stars sent down ? Anon. 1695. LYI. TO FLACCIJS. As the age of our ancestors yields to our own, and as Eome has grown greater with her ruler, you wonder that genius like that of the divine Yirgil is nowhere found among us, and that no poet thunders of wars with so powerful a clarion. Let there be Maecenases, Placcus, and there will be no want of Yirgils ; even your own farm may furnish you with a Maro. Titjmis had lost several acres in the neighbourhood of poor Cremona, and was sadly mourning over the loss of his sheep. The Tuscan knight ^ smiled on him, repelled harsh poverty from his door, and bade it quickly take to flight. " Accept,'* said he, " a portion of my wealth, and be the greatest of bards ; nay, thou mayst even love my Alexis." That most beautiful of youths used to stand at his master's feasts, pouring the dark Ealernian with hand white as marble, and to present him the cup just sipped with his rosy lips ; lips which might have attracted the admiration of Jupiter himself. The plump Ga- latea, and Thestylis, with her ruddy cheeks burnt by the har- vest sun, vanished from the memory of the inspired bard. Forthwith he sang of Italy, and " Arms and the man," — he, whose inexperienced strain had scarcely sufficed to lament a gnat. 2 Why need I mention the Yarii ^ and Marsi,'* and other poets who have been enriched, and to enumerate whom would be a long task ? Shall I, then, be a Yirgil, if you give me such gifts as Maecenas gave him ? I shaU not be Yirgil ; but I shall be a Marsus.^ Since never was an age so happy yet ; So great the nation or the prince so great ; You wonder that no Addisons remain, No bard to sing a fortunate campaign. Let but Maecenas, Virgil will, revive : Ev'n your own villa may a Virgil give. 1 Maecenas. See Hor. Sat. I. vi. 1. « Alluding to Virgil's " Culex." ' Varius, who assisted Tucca in correcting the iEneid. * The epigrammatist; B. ii. Ep. 71, 98. * I shall be enriched, like Marsus the Epigrammatist. See B. ii. Ep. 71 378 maetial's AYhen Tit}Tus bewail'd his flocks so dear ; And to Cremona farms, alas ! too near ; Benevolently smil'd the Tuscan knight, And put malignant poverty to flight. A poet be, and take my purse, he said ; Take what you like ; take ev'n my favourite maid : Attendant at his board the damsel stands ; And fills his claret with her lily hands ; Sips it with rosy lips, which might inspire With wanton thoughts the virtue of a friar. Fat Galatea haunts his soul no more ; Nor Thestylis, his sun-burnt country whore. He, who once humble themes pursued, then sung " Arms and the man whence Roman grandeur sprung." ' 'Twere endless to recount each laurel'd shade Rich and immortal by such bounty made. I '11 Virgil be, might I like favours hope : No : 'tis not Virgil I will be, but Pope. Hay. LYII. 0-S PICEIS-S. Picens had three teeth, which he coughed out all together one day, as he was sitting at the place destined for his tomb. He collected in his robe the last fragments of his decayed jaw, and buried them under a heap of earth. His heir need not collect his bones after his death; Picens has already per- formed that office for himself. Old Picens had three teeth which from him come As he sat coughing hard over his tomb : Which fragments he took up into his breast, Dropp'd from his mouth : then laid his bones to rest. Lest that his heir should not them safely see Interr'd, he did himself the curtesy. Fletcher. LTIII. TO AETEMIDOEUS. Seeing that your cloak, Artemidorus, is so thick, I might justly call you Sagaris.^ So vast thy cloake, it seemeth to contayne In 't all the cloakes that ever lin'd Cloake-Lane. Old MS. LIX. ON A ONE-ETED THIEE. Do you see this fellow, who has but one eye, and under whose scowling forehead yawns a blind cavity for the other ? Do not despise that head ; none was ever more acquisitive ; * In allusion to the word saguniy a military cloak. BOOK VIII.] EPIGEAMS. 379 nor were even the fingers of Autolycus more sticky. Be cautious how you make him your guest, and watch him closely, for on such occasions he makes one eye do the duty of two. The anxious servants lose cups and spoons ; and many a napkin is warmed in the secret folds of his dress. He knows how to catch a cloak as it falls from the arm of a neigh- bour, and often leaves the table doubly clad. He even feels no remorse in robbing the slumbering slave of his lighted lamp. If he fails to lay hands on anything belonging to others, he will exercise his thievish propensity on his own servant, and steal his sHppers from him. See you that fellow, with a harden'd front, One eye with patch, and one with knave upon *t ? Revere in him the captain of the band Once ruled by Wild ; more gluey is his hand. At table with him take care what you do, His eye will be more watchful than your two. He '11 make the servants hunt for spoons ; and clap His napkin in his breeches, not his lap. "Whip up a handkerchief, that 's fallen down, Or slip another Joseph on his own. His own portmanteau carry off unseen, And charge it on the master of the inn. Hay. LX. TO CLAUDIA. If you had been shorter by a foot and a half, Claudia, you would have been about the same height as the colossus on the Palatine mount. ^ At the Coloss imperial thou might'st laugh, Claudia, if shorter by a foot and half. Elphinston. LXI. TO SEVEETJS, 0:JT CHAEINUS. Chariuus is pale and bursting with envy; he rages, weeps, and IS looking for a high branch on which to hang himself; not, as formerly, because I am repeated and read by everybody, or because I am circulated with elegant bosses, and anointed with oil of cedar, through all the nations that Rome holds in subjection ; but because I possess in the suburbs a summer country-house, and ride on mules which are not, as of old, hired. What evil shall I imprecate on him, Severus, for his envy ? This is my wish : that he may have mules and a country-house. ' Spectac. Ep. 2. 380 maetial's Vipers ne'er cease to gnaw Carinus' breast, Anguish and grief his quiet to molest ; His envy rages to that high degree, To hang himself he only wants a tree. Not 'cause my book 's now richly gilt and bound. Myself and verse through all the world renown'd : But I 've a house near Rome, and on the score, I 'm drawn with mules, not hired, as heretofore. What shall I wish, th' envious to repay ? I wish, on him that Fortune also may A farm bestow near town, and men may tell That mules he drives, and roots and herbs does sell. Anon. 1695. LXII. ON PICENS. Picens writes epigrams upon the back of his paper, and then complains that the god of poetry turns his back upon him. He turns the leaf, to eke th' inscriptive lay, A.nd mourns the god has turn'd his face away. JElphmston, LXIII. ON AULirS. Aulus loves Thestylus, and yet he is not less fond of Alexis; perhaps he is also growing fond of my Hyacinthus. Go, now, and resolve me whether my friend Aulus loves poets them- Belyes, when he loves what the poets hold dearest. On Thestylus, nor on Alexis less ; Nay, on our Hyacinth he dotes beyond. Who for the bards can Aulus' love express. When of their fav'rites Aulus proves so fond ? Mphinston, LXIV. TO CLTTUS. For the purpose of asking and exacting presents. Clytus, your birth-day falls eight times in one year ; and you count, I think, only three or four first days of months that are not an- niversaries of your coming into the world. Though your face is smoother than the polished stones of the dry shore ; though your hair is blacker than the mulberry ready to fall ; though the soft delicacy of your flesh surpasses the feathers of the dove, or a mass of milk just curdled ; and though your breast is as full as that which a virgin reserves for her husband* you already, Clytus, seem to me to be an old man ; for who would believe that Priam and Nestor had as many birth-days as you ? Have some sense of moderation, and let there be BOOK Till.] EPIGEAM9. 381 some limit to your rapacity ; for if you still carry on your joke, and if it is not enough for you to be born once a year, I shall not, Clytus, consider you born at all. More gifts more clearly still to crave, Each yeere eight birth-day es you will have ; And of twelve months scarce four, or three, Wherein you were not born there bee. Though your downe chin be smoother far Than on dry beach worne pebbles are ; More black than mulberrys your hayre ; Than feathers trembling in the ayre Your breasts more soft, than curds and creame More swell'd and plump, or more than them To husband's bedd greene virgins bring. You are an old man in your spring. For who'd believe Priam, or old Nestor, so many birth-dayes told ? For shame, at length your greedy minde Stint ; for if still theise tricks we finde, And once a yeere sufG.ce not you, We '11 think none of your birth-dayes true. Old MS. IGth Cent LXV. TO DOMITIAN, ON HIS TEMPLE OF EOETUNE AND TRIUMPHAL AECH. Here, where the temple dedicated to returning Fortune glistens resplendent far and wide, was formerly a spot of ground of great celebrity. Here Domitian, graced with the dust of the Sarmatian^ war, halted, his countenance radiating with glory. Here, with locks wreathed with bays, and in white garb, Bome saluted her general with voice and gesture. The great merits of the spot are attested by the other monuments with which it has been honoured; a sacred arch is there erected in memory of our triumphs over subdued nations. Here two chariots ^ number many an elephant yoked to them ; the prince himself, cast in gold, guides alone the mighty team. This gate, G-ermanicus, is worthy of thy triumphs ; such an entrance it is fit the city of Mars should possess. Where to returning Fortune now we build "Vast glittering temples, lately was that field Where, lovely in the dust of warr, such grace, Such lustre shin'd from Csesar's ruddy face ; 1 See B. vii. Ep. 5. * On the Iriumpbal arch, in memory of two victories over the Dacians. 382 maetial's Where in white roabes, their heads with lawrel crown'd, Rome welcom'd him with hands' and voyces' sound. There, for that place's greater worth and glory, On arch triumphant stands that conquest's story ; Where Caesar, all in gold, on chariotts rides, And the huge elephants that draw them guides. Such conquests meritt such a noble roome, And such gates Mars's city best become. Old MS. 16th Cent. LXVI. 0:S- THE COIfSTJLSHIP OP THE SON OE SILIUS ITAIilCUS. Grive to the emperor, ye Muses, sacred incense and victims on behalf of your favourite Silius. See, the prince bids the twelve fasces return to him in the consulship of his son, and the Castalian abode of the poet resound with the rod of power knocking at his door. O Caesar, chief and only stay of the empire, still one thing is w^anting to the wishes of the rejoic- ing father, — the happy purple and a third consul in his family. Although the senate gave these sacred honours to Pompey, and Augustus to his son-in-law, ^ Avhose names the pacific Ja- nus thrice ennobled,^ Silius prefers to count successive con- sulships in the persons of his sons. To Cesar let your incense rise, To him your victims fall : Ye Nine, salute th' auspicious skies ; And let us carol all. The twice six bundles bids the god Upon the son rebound ; And, with the welcome awful rod, The dome Castalian solmd. Augustus, thou supreme of things ; Their primal, single stay ! To thee thine own Thalia flings Th' unmeditated lay. While thou enjoy'st to crown my joy, A twofold wish remains : For bliss upon th' empurpled boy, And for a third the reins. ^ Vipsanius Agrippa, the husband of Julia. Like Pompey, he was thrice consul. 2 Their names were enrolled in the fasti kept in the temple of Janus> which was closed in the reign of Augustus. BOOK YIII.] EPIGEAMS. 383 To Pompey though the Fathers gave, And Caesar to his son, The honours of the wise and brave, "Which they alone have won ; Though peaceful Janus three times threw A glory round each name ; My Silius would acquire, in two, A higher threefold fame. Elphinston. LXYII. TO C^CILIANUS. Tour slave, Csecilianus, has not yet announced to you the fifth hour,i and yet you are already come to dine with me ; although, too, the fourth hour has but just been bawled to adjourn the bail-courts,^ and the wild beasts ^ of the Ploral G-ames are still being exercised in the arena. Eun, Callistus, hasten to call the still unwashed attendants ; let the couches be spread ; sit down, CsBcilianus. You ask for warm water ; but the cold is not yet brought ; the kitchen is still closed, and the fires not yet lit. You should surely come earlier ; why do you wait for the fifth hour ? You have come very late, Csecilianus, for breakfast. You as my guest appear, when 'tis not one By Paul's, or any other clock in town. The courts at Westminster are sitting still : The Speaker has not read one private bill. Make haste, good John, and never mind your hair ; But lay the cloth ; and set us each a chau\ ^ Bring us the soup. — There is no water yet. Where is the lamb ? — It is not on the spit. You should be earlier. Sir ; till noon why wait ? You come to breakfast most extremely late. Hay. LXVITI. TO EiN'TELLUS, O^ HIS BEArTIETIL GAEDEITS. He who has seen the orchards of the king of Corcyra, will prefer the garden of your country-house, Entellus. That the malicious frost may not nip the purple clusters, and the icy cold destroy the gifts of Bacchus, the vintage lives protected under transparent stone ;'^ carefully covered, yet not con- ' About our eleven in the forenoon. ' In which business was conducted during the third hour ; Exercet rau cos tertia caiisidicos. B. iv. Ep. 8. ^ Hares, fawns, and other animals of the kind. See B. i. Ep. 3. * The lapis specularis. * 384 maetial's cealed. Thus does female beauty shine through silken folds ; thus are pebbles visible in the pellucid waters. What is not nature willing to grant to genius ? Barren winter is forced to produce the fruits of autumn. He who hath seen the gardens at Versailles, When he sees yours, will think their beauty fails. Here, lest the purple branch be scorch'd by frost, And Bacchus' gifts by cold devouring lost, Shut in the glass the living vintage hes, Securely cloath'd, yet naked to the eyes. Through finest lace so female graces beam ; Pebbles are counted in the lucid stream. "What Will not nature yield to human skill ? When sterile winter shaU be autumn still. Hat/. LXIX. TO YACEEEA. You admire, Vacerra, only the poets of old, and praise only those who are dead. Pardon me, I beseech you, Vacerra, u I think death too high a price to pay for your praise. The ancients all your veneration have : You Hke no poet on this side the grave. Yet, pray, excuse me ; if to please you, I Can hardly think it worth my while to die. Sai/. LXX. 0:S NEEVA.^ G-reat as is the placidity, equally great is the eloquence of the quiet Nerva ; but his modesty restrains his powers and his genius. "When he might with large draughts have drained the sacred fountain of the muses, he preferred to keep his thirst within bounds ; he was content to bind his inspired brow with a modest chaplet, and not to crowd all sail for fame. But whoever is acquainted with the verses of the learned Nero, knows that K'erva is the Tibullus of our day. Of spirit gentle, as of genius strong, His modesty alone can do him wrong. A^Tien all Permessis his one draft might drain, He bids his thirst, however keen, refrain. Content with slender wreath to bind his brow, He will not to his fame her sail allow. ^ Supposed to be the Nerva afterwards emperor, whose poetry is noticed by Pliny, Ep. V. 3. See B. ix. Ep. 27. BOOK TIII.l EPIGEAMS. 385 Yet him the sweet Tibullus of our days Each critic owns, who honours Nero's lays. Elphinston. Lxxi. TO postumia:n^tjs. Ten years ago, Postumianus, you sent me at the time of the winter solstice ^ four pounds of silver, Next year, when I hoped for a larger present (for presents ought either to stand at the same point or to grow larger), there came two pounds, more or less. The third and fourth years brought still less. The fifth year produced a pound, it is true, but only a Septician pound. ^ In the sixth year it fell off to a small cup of eight unciae ; ^ next year came half a pound of silver scrapings in a little cup. The eighth year brought me a ladle of scarcely two ounces ; the ninth presented me a little spoon, weighing less than a needle. The tenth year can have nothing less to send me ; return, therefore, Postu- mianus, to the four pounds. Four pounds of fine silver you sent, To heighten the solstician glee. The boon ten years since gave content, And spoke you, Postumian, to me. Next year I depended on more, As bounties should never grow less : And what came to strengthen my store ? Just half the four pounds, I profess. The third and the fourth lessen'd still, The fifth brought a pitiful pound : A dish of eight ounces to fill, The sixth generosity crown'd. And now half a pound in a cup ; A ladle then, less than two ounces : A spoonlet now gave me to sup. Though light as the feather that flounces. Nought has the tenth twelvemonth to send : To see her endeavour I burn. Postumian, my counsel attend, To four honest pounders return. Elphinston. ^ At the SaturnaHa in December. 2 A pound of eight ounces and a half instead of twelve. The derivation of the word is unknown. ^ The uncia was the twelfth part of the sextarius, which was nearly equivalent to an Enghsh pint. 2 c 386 maetial's lxxii. to his book, ox peesentinq it to aecanus. My little book, though not yet adorned with the purple, or polished with the keen filing of pumice, you are in haste to follow Arcanus, whom beautiful Narbo, the native town of the learned Yotienus,^ recalls to uphold her laws and the annual magistracy ; and, what should equally be an object of your wishes, that delightful spot, and the friendship of Arcanus, will at once be yours. How I could wish to be my book ! Nor yet empurpled, nor polite. From the dry pumice' grating bite, Thou hi'st Arcanus to attend ; For whom bright Narbo deigns to send, T' enforce the justice of the gods, And prop the laws with equal rods. Hail, Narbo, hail ! supremely blest, Of such a progeny possess'd ! Arcanus, born to think and say, Learn'd Votienus, for the lay. Go then, my child ; thy wishes crown, In such a friend, and such a town. How just a joy would light my look, Could I but now become my book ! Elphinston. LXXIII. TO INSTANTITJS EUrUS. Instantius, than whom no one is reputed more sincere in heart, or more eminent for unsullied simplicity, if you wish to give strength and spirit to my muse, and desire of me verses which shall live, give me something to love. Cynthia made sportive Propertius a poet ; the fair Lycoris was the genius of Grallus. The beautiful Nemesis gave fame to the wit of TibuUus ; while Lesbia inspired the learned Catullus. Neither the Pelignians, nor the Mantaans, will refuse me the name of a bard, if I meet with a Corinna or an Alexis. Instantius, whose sincerer ne'er was known, The snow unsoil'd of simpleness thine own ! Would'st my Thalia crown with pleasing pow'r, And hope for lays that fear no final hour ? Would'st place me ev'ry blame or praise above ? Give who shall light me with the torch of love, 1 An eminent poet. BOOK VIII.] EPIGRAMS. 387 Thee, gay Propertius, Cynthia earn'd a name ; The fair Lycoris prov'd a Gallus' flame ; 'Twas Nemesis attun'd Tibullus' lyre; And Lesbia set Catullus' soul on fire. Not me shall the Pelignian's self outshine, Or e'en the Mantuan, with his muse divine, Corinna be, or Amaryllis mine. Elphinston. LXXIY. TO A BAD DOCTOR. You are now a gladiator ; you were previously an oculist. Tou used to do as a doctor what you now do as a gladiator. A doctor lately was a captain made : It is a change of title, not of trade. Hay. LXXY. TO LUCANUS, 02f A COEPTTLENT GAUL. A Lingonian Qaul, fresh arrived, returning late at night to his lodging, through the Covered and Flaminian ways, struck his toe violently against some obstacle, dislocated his ankle, and fell at full length on the pavement. "What was the Gaul to do, how was he to get up ? The huge fellow had with him but one little slave, so thin that he could scarcely carry a little lamp. Accident came to the poor fellow's assistance. Four branded slaves were carrying a common corpse, such as poor men's pyres receive by thousands. To them the feeble attendant, in a humble tone, addressed his prayer, entreat- ing that they would carry the dead body of his master whithersoever they pleased. The load was changed, and the heavy burden crammed into the narrow shell, and raised on their shoulders. This gentleman, Lucanus, seems to me one out of many of whom we may justly say, "Mortue Galle." ^ Tom about one was from the tavern come, And with his load through Fleet-street reeling home ; Striking his toe against the Lord knows what, Into the kennel he directly shot. What must Tom do ? he could not stir or speak: One only lad he had ! and he so weak, He scarce could bear his cloak ; and wanted might To set the fallen monument upright. But Tom's kind stars did present help supply : By chance an empty hearse was passing by: ' " Dead Gallus." A play on the word Gallus, which means either a Gaul, or one of the priests of Cybele, who, from being emasculate, might be called dead men. 2 c 2 388 - MAETIAL S The lad screams out, " Good gentlemen, I pray, One moment stop, and take a corpse away." There's no great ceremony with the dead : They squeeze him in, no matter, heels or head. Thus Fortune, in gay humour, did contrive To make of Tom the best dead man alive. Hay. LXXVI. TO G-ALLICUS. "Tell me, Marcus, tell me the truth, I pray; there is nothing to which I shall listen with greater pleasure." Such is your constant prayer and request to me, Grallicus, both when you recite your compositions, and when you are plead- ing the cause of a client. It is hard for me to deny your re- quest : hear then what is as true as truth itself. You do not hear truth with pleasure, Grallicus. Tell me, say you, and tell me without fear The truth, the thing I most desire to hear. This is your language, when your works you quote : And when you plead, this is your constant note. 'Tis most inhuman longer to deny What you so often press so earnestly. To the great truth of all then lend an ear — " You are uneasy when the truth you hear." Hay. LXXTII. TO HIS FEIEFD LIBEE. Liber, dearest object of care to all thy friends; Liber, worthy to live in ever -blooming roses ; if thou art wise, let thy hair ever glisten with Assyrian balsam, and let garlands of flowers surround thy head ; let thy pure crystal cups be darkened with old Falernian, and thy soft couch be warm with the caresses of love. He who has so lived, even to a middle age, has made life longer than was bestowed on him. Liber, of all thy friends thou sweetest care, Thou worthy in eternal flow'r to fare. If thou beest wise, with Tyrian oil let shine Thy locks, and rosy garlands crown thy head ; Dark thy clear glass with old Falernian wine, And heat with softest love thy softer bed. He that but living half his days dies such. Makes his life longer than 't was given him, much, Ben Jonson. Liber, thou joy of all thy friends, Worthy to live in endless pleasure : I BOOK Yin.] EPIGEAMS. 389 While knaves and fools pursue their ends, Let mirth and freedom be thy treasure. Be still well dress' d, as now thou art, Gay, and on charming objects thinking ; Let easy beauty warm thy heart, And fill thy bed when thou leav'st drinking. Delay no pressing appetite. And sometimes stir up lazy nature ; Of age the envious censure slight, ^ What pleasure's made of, 'tis no matter. He that lives so but to his prime, Wisely doubles his short time. Sedley. LXXTIII. ON THE GAMES OE STELLA, TE HONOTJB OE THE TEIT7MPHS OE DOMITIAN. Games, such as 'the victory gained over the giants in the Phlegrsean plains, such as thy Indian triumph, Bacchus, would have deserved, Stella has exhibited in celebration of the triumph over the Sarmatians ; and such is his modesty, such his affection, he thinks these too insignificant. Hermus, turbid with gold cast up from its depths, or Tagus which murmurs in the Hesperian regions, would not be sufficient for him. Every day brings its own gifts ; there is no cessation to the rich series of largesses, and many a prize falls to the lot of the people. Sometimes playful coins come down in sudden showers ; sometimes a liberal ticket bestows on them the animals which they have beheld in the arena. Sometimes a bird delights to fill your bosom unexpectedly, or, without having been exhibited, obtains a master by lot, that it may not be torn to pieces. Why should I enumerate the chariots, and the thirty prizes of victory, which are more than even both the Consuls generally give ? But all is surpassed, Cae- sar, by the great honour, that thy own triumph has thee for a spectator. What games might make Phlegrsean triumphs shine. What India's pomp might wish, Lyseus, thine ; The high enhancer of the northern day Does, and still thinks he nothing does, display. In him how modesty and duty strove ! 'Twas all inferior to terrestrial Jove. Him not suffices Hermus' sordid stream. Whose wave, disturb'd, yet gave the gold to gleam ; 390 MAETIAL S Him not ricn Tagus, flood no less sublime, Th' unrivaird glory of the western cKme. Each, day profuses boons ; nor fails the chain Of wealth, or to the people rapine's rain. Now wanton coin descends in copious show'r ; Now the large token bids the prey devour : The bird into the breast secure is borne, And catches now her lord lest she be torn. Why tell the cars, or palms unnumber'd show, Which neither consul, or not both, bestow. Yet, all outdone, ne'er thine outdoing cloys ; Thy presence, Caesar, since thy bay enjoys. Elphinston. LXXIX. TO rABIJLLA. All your female friends are either old or ugly; nay, more ugly than old women usually are. , These you lead about in your train, and drag with you to feasts, porticoes, and theatres. Thus, FabuUa, you seem handsome, thus you seem young. All thy companions aged beldames are. Or more deform' d than age makes any, far : These cattle at thy heels thou trail'st always To public walks, to suppers, and to plays. 'Cause when with such alone we thee compare. Thou canst be said, Fabulla, young or fair. Anon. 1695. All the companions of her Grace, I 'm told, Are either very plain or very old. With these she visits : these she drags about To play, to ball, assembly, auctions, rout. With these she sups : with these she takes the air. Without such foils, is lady duchess fair ? Hay. LXXX. TO DOMITIAlf, 01^ HIS EEVIYAL OP PUGILISTIC COjS-TESTS. Thou revivest among us, Csesar, the wonders of our vener able forefathers, and sufferest not ancient customs to expire, for the games of the Latian arena are renewed, and valour contends with the natural weapon, the hand. Thus, under thy rule, the respect for the ancient temples is preserved, and the fane where Jupiter was worshipped of old, is still honoured by thee. Thus, while thou inventest new things, thou restorest the old : and we owe to thee, Augustus, both the present and the past. 1 BOOK YIII.] EPIGRAMS. 391 Our fathers' deeds, Csesar, thou dost revive, Preserve the grayest ages still alive ; The antiquated Latian games renew. The fight with simple fists, thy sands do show ; Temples, though old, their honour thou maintain'st, The mean, for th' sake of richer, not disdain'st. Thus while thou new dost build, the old restore, We owe thee for thy own, and all before. Anon. 1695. LXXXI. TO PAPIEIAInTS, OlS GELLIA. Gi-ellia swears, not by the mystic rites of Cybele, nor by the bull that loved the heifer of Egypt, nor indeed by any of our gods and goddesses, but by her pearls. These she em- braces ; these she covers with kisses ; these she calls her brothers and sisters ; these she loves more ardently than her two children. If she should chance to lose these, she declares she could not live even an hour. Ah ! how excellently, Papirianus, might the hand of Annseus Serenns ^ be turned to account ! 'WhdX do you think is Lady Betty's oath ? 'Tis neither split me, dem me, faith, nor troth : Not by heaven's powers, or those of her Dwn face : But her dear drop, and dearer Brussels lace. She calls them her dear creatures, hugs, and kisses. And loves them better than both little misses. Protests, if they were ravish'd from her power, She could not possibly survive that hour. Then grant, kind heaven, when next she sees the play, Some hand, like Peny's, snatch them both away. Hay. LXXXII. TO DOMITIAN. "While the crowd presents to thee, Augustus, its humble supplications, we too, in offering to our ruler our poor verses, know that the divinity can find time equally for public af- fairs and the Muses, and that our garlands also please thee. Uphold thy poets, Augustus ; we are thy pleasing glory, thy chief care and delight. It is not the oak^ alone that be- comes thee, nor the laureP of Phoebus ; we will wreathe for thee a civic crown of ivy. ^ A noted thief, who might steal her pearls, and cause her death, as she deserves, for her foolish worship of them. 2 The crown of oak, given for having preserved the lives of citizens. 3 The laurel crown for victory in battle ; that of ivy, the distinction of Doets, or the patrons of poets. 392 maetial's While plaintive mobs, Augustus, ask redress We to our bounteous lord our bliss confess. We know that, from intending human-kind, He with the muses can his refuge find. Accept thy various bards, their various lay ; Thy grace, thy glory, thy delight are they. Nor oak, nor laurel, proves thy sole renown : Be thine, of ivy, too, a civic crown. Eljilwiston. BOOK IX. TO AYITrS. O POET, celebrated, even against your will, for your sub- limity of conception, and to whom the tomb will one day- bring due honours, let this brief inscription live beneath my bust, which you have placed among those of no obscure per- sons : — " I am he, second to none in reputation for composing trifles, whom, reader, you do not admire, but rather, I suspect, love. Let greater men devote their powers to higher subjects: I am content to talk of small topics, and to come frequently into your hands." Though thy learn'd breast, great poet, 's to me known, And that thy verse will raise me 'bove mine own ; Yet this short title on my statue place. Which 'mong no common authors thou dost grace. " I 'm he, in sportive verse, none is above. Who none astonish, yet all readers love ; In vaster works vast uncouth things are said, My glory is, that I am often read." Anon. 1695. TO TOEANITJS. Hail, my beloved Toranius, dear to me as a brother. The preceding epigram, which is not included in the pages of raj book, I addressed to the illustrious Stertinius, who has re- solved to place my bust in his library. I thought it well to write to you on the subject, that you might not be ignor- ant who Avitus really is. Farewell, and prepare to re- ceive me. 1 BOOK IX.] EPIGllAMS. 393 I. 02f THE TEMPLE OE THE ELAYIAN FAMILY. As long as Janus sliall give the years their winters, Domi- tian^ their autumns, and Augustus their summers ; as long as the glorious day of the Grermanic kalends ^ shall recall the mighty name of the subdued Ehine ; as long as the Tarpeian temple of the chief of the gods shall stand ; as long as the Eoman matron, with suppliant voice and incense, shall propiti- ate the sweet divinity of Julia ;^ so long shall the lofty glory of the Flavian family remain, enduring like the sun, and the stars, and the splendour of Eome. Whatever Domitian's un- conquered hand has erected, is imperishable as heaven. "While summers, autumns, winters shall abide, Imperial names shall o'er the months preside ; While great December's bright and glorious day Shall boast Domitian nlade the Rhine obey ; While the Tarpeian rock shall fix'd remain, And Jove within the Capitol shall reign ; "While Roman matrons Julia shall adore, "With frankincense the goddess mild implore ; The lofty temple of the Flavian race Shall flourish with divine immortal grace ; Like sun and moon, e'en like Rome's empire, stand, A heaven is built by a victorious hand. Anon. 1695. II. TO LUPUS. Although you are poor to your friends. Lupus, you are not so to your mistress, and your libidinous desires cannot complain of want of indulgence. The object of your affec- tions fattens upon the most delicate cakes, while your guests feed on black bread. Setine wine, cooled in snow, is placed before your mistress ; we drink the black poison of Corsica out of the cask. A small portion of her favours you purchase with your hereditary estates : while your neglected friend is left to plough lands not his own. Tour mistress shines resplendent with Erythraean pearls ; your client, whilst you are immersed in pleasure, is abandoned to his creditor and ^ Domitian desired that the month of October should be renamed after himself; as Sextilis had been after Augustus. - The first day of the month of September, on which Domitian pretended to have subdued the Germans. 2 Daughter of Titus, Domitian's brother. i 394 maetial's dragged to prison. A litter, supported by eight Syrian slaves, is provided for your mistress ; while your friend is left to be carried naked on a common bier. It is time for thee, Cybele, to mutilate contemptible voluptuaries ; such are the charac- ters that deserve the infliction. III. TO DOMITIAIf. If you, O Caesar, were to assume the rights of a creditor, and to demand payment for all that you have given to the gods and to heaven, Atlas, even though a great auction were to take place in Olympus, and the deities were compelled to sell all they have, would be bankrupt, and the father of the gods would be obliged to compound with you in a very small dividend. Tor what could he pay you for the temple on the Capitol ? "What for the honour of the glorious Capitoline games ? What could the spouse of the Thunderer pay for her two temples ? Of Minerva I say nothing ; your interests are hers. But what shall I say of the temples to Hercules and Apollo, and the afi'ectionate Lacedaemonian twins ? ^ What of the Flavian temple which towers to the Eoman sky? You must needs be patient and suspend your claims, for Jove's treasury does not contain sufficient to pay you. If thou shouldst challenge what is due to thee From heaven, and its creditor wouldst be ; If public sale should be cried through the spheres, And th' gods sell all to satisfy arrears, Atlas will bankrupt prove, nor one ounce be Reserv'd for Jupiter to treat with thee. What canst thou for the Capitol receive ? Or for the honour of the laurel-'^Teath ? Or what will Juno give thee for her shrine ? Pallas I pass, she waits on thee and thine. Alcides, Phcebus, PoUux I slip by. And Flavia's temple neighb'ring on the sky. Caesar, thou must forbear, and trust the heaven : Jove's chest has not enough to make all even. Fletcher. If, Caesar, thou shouldst from great Jove reclaim All thou hast lent to dignify his name ; Should a fair auction rend Olympus' hall, And the just gods be forced to sell their all, * Castor and Pollux. BOOK IX.] EPIGEAMS. 395 The bankrupt Atlas not a twelfth could pay To meet thy claims upon the reckoning day ; * * * * Do not oblige great Jove, then, to compound, Who could not pay thee sixpence in the pound. Westminster Review, April, 1853. lY. TO ^SCHTLIJS. "When Gralla will grant you her favours for two gold pieces, and what you please for as many more, why is she presented with ten gold pieces on each of your visits, ^schylus ? She does not estimate her utmost favours at so high a price : why then do you give her so much ? To stop her mouth ? Wlien for two guilders Galla thou might'st have. And bring her to do aught, if four thou gave, Why, jEschylus, gav'st thou ten ? Was it, in sooth, To tie her tongue ? Or, rather, gain her mouth ? Ano?i]/}nous old Translation. V. TO PAULA. You wish, Paula, to marry Priscus ; I am not surprised ; you are wise : Priscus will not marry you ; and he is wise, Paulla, thou wouldst to Priscus wedded be 5 Thou 'rt wise ; and hee 's wise too ; hee won't wedd thee. Old 3IS. I6th Cent. That you would wed Sir John is very wise : That he do n't care to wed is no surprise. Hay. You 'd marry the marquis, fair lady, they say ; You're right; we 've suspected it long : But his lordship declines in a complaisant way. And, faith, he 's not much in the WTong. N. B. Halhed. VI. TO DOMITIAN. To thee, chaste prince, mighty conqueror of the Ehine, and father of the world, cities present their thanks : they will henceforth have population ; it is now no longer a crime to bring infants into the world. The boy is no longer muti- lated by the art of the greedy dealer, to mourn the loss of his manly rights ; nor does the wretched mother give to her prostituted child the price paid by a contemptuous pander. That modesty, which, before your reign, did not prevail even 396 maetial's on the marriage couch, begins, by your influence, to be felt even in the ha ants of licentiousness.^ thou, who couldst the Rhine restore, Dread guardian of mankind ; Meek modesty, with blushing lore. Was to thy care consign'd. To thee their everlasting praise Let town and country pay ; "Who fairly may their offspring raise, To people and obey. By avarice no more beguil'd, Virility shall mourn : Nor shall the prostituted child Be from the mother torn. Shame, though, before thy blest decree. The bridal bed's disdain ; Now, sanctified again by thee, I Ubiquitous must reign. Elphinston. VII. TO APEE. I have been desirous for five vp^hole days, Afer, to greet you on your return from among the people of Africa. " He is engaged," or " he is asleep," is the answer I have received on calling two or three times. It is enough, Afer ; you do not wish me to say " How do you do ? " so I '11 say " Good bye!" Since your return from Rome, I five days went To wish you well, and pay my compliment. " Busy," " not up," hath been my answer still : Adieu : you will not let me wish you well. Hay. VIII. TO DOMITIAI^. As if it were bat a trifling crime for our sex to bargain away our male children to public lust, the very cradle had become the prey of the pander, so that the child, snatched from its mother's bosom, seemed to demand, by its wailing, the disgraceful pay. Infants born but yesterday suffered scandaloas outrage. The father of Italy, who but recently brought help to tender adolescence, to prevent savage lust from condemning it to a manhood of sterility, could not endure such horrors. Before this, Caesar, you were 1 Comp. B. vi. Ep. 2, 5 ; and Ep, 9 below. BOOK IX.] EPI&EAMS. . 397 loved by boys, and youths, and old men ; now infants also love you. As tho' the vilest wrong were right refin'd, To traffic it with prostitute mankind ; The cradle prov'd the pander's who could buy The finest victim, from the feeblest cry. Against poor innocents such arts conspire As shock sweet nature, and th' Ausonian sire : That sire, who to the aid of youth had flown, Lest savage lust should blight the hero grown. The boy, the youth, the sage did love, applaud : Now smiling infants lisp their Csesar's laud. Elphinston. IX. TO BITHTNICUS. Eabius has bequeathed you nothing, Bithynicus, although you used to present him yearly, if I remember right, with six thousand sesterces. He has bequeathed nothing more to any one ; so do not complain, Bithynicus ; he has at least saved you six thousand sesterces a year. Thousands to him each yeere thou gav'st, yet hee, At 's death, I take 't, gave thee no legacie : Repine not, though ; for to none more he gave ; By 's death those thousands yeerely thou dost save. Old 31 S. \Qth Cent Not in his will ! who from you used to clear A hundred pounds in presents every year ! Cease to complain ; you are dealt greatly by : A hundred pound a year 's a legacy. Hay. X. TO CAIS^THAETJS. Though you willingly dine at other people's houses, Can- tharus, you indulge yourself there in clamour, and complaints, and threats. Lay aside this fierce humour, I advise you. A man cannot be both independent and a glutton. Since you abroad love to fare plentifully, Why do you bawl, and domineer, and bully ? This crabbed humour will not do ; for he Will seldom taste deserts that is so free. Hay. XI. ON EARINUS, THE rAYOUEITE OF DOMITIAN. A name born among violets and the roses, a name which is that of the most pleasant part of the year ; ^ a name which ^ The name Earimis is from the Greek tap, " spring." 398 maetial's savors of Hybla and Attic flowers, and which exhales a per- fume like that of the nest of the superb phoenix ; a name sweeter than the nectar of the gods, and which the boy, be- loved of Cybele, as well as he who mixes the cups for the Thunderer, would have preferred to his own ; a name which, if even breathed in the Imperial palace, would be responded to by every Yenus and Cupid ; a name so noble, soft, and deK- cate, I wished to utter in not inelegant verse. But you, ob- stinate syllable,^ rebel ! Yet some poets say Eiarinos ; but then they are G-reek poets, to whom every license is permit- ted, and with whom it is lawful to pronounce the word Ares^ long or short just as they please. "\Ye Eomans, who court severer muses, dare not take such liberties. With the roses and violets sprung, In the season most joyously sung; That sips Hybla and Attical flowers, To the Phoenix fum'd ejvy that towers ; Oh the name than the nectar more sweet! That to music's own ear were a treat ; That, whom Cybele lov'd, would cajole; Or, who tempers the Thunderer's bowl. In the Palatine-hall if it sigh, All the Loves and the Graces reply. Little name noble, delicate, soft ! Thee in smoothest of lays wish I oft, But the train of short vowels proves cross : Yet the bards can tune Eiarinos : The bold Greeks, whom can nothing confound, And who ''Apeg "Apt^ can resound. Such fair freedoms our language refuses. Which obeys more despotical muses. Other tongues, wisely free as the Greek, Can with equal variety speak : Nor the privilege need they dechne. Of Earinus, or Earine. ElpMnston. XII. OK THE SAME. If Autumn had given me a name, I should have been called Oporinus ; if the shivering constellations of winter, Cheime- rinus. If named by the summer months, I should have been * The first syllable, which the Greek poets lengthened by writing Eiar- inos. 2 Homer makes the a in Ares, " Mars," long and short in the same line 'Apff, 'Apef, (5poToXoty6, fxiai(p6ve, TUxf-fJi-TrXiiTa. BOOK IX.] EPIGEAMS. 899 called Therinus. "WTiat is he, to whom the spring has given a name ? From autumn my name would oTrdJpivog be, Rude solstice with x^^l^^Q^t^og would agree ; From fervid delights Srkpivog might I bring : But who is the striphng yclept from the spring ? £l2)hmston. XIII. ON THE SAME. Ton have a name, which designates the season of the new- born year, when the Cecropian bees plunder the short-lived vernal flowers ; a name, which deserves to be written with Cupid's arrow, and which Cytherea would delight in tracing with her needle : a name, worthy of being traced in letters of Erythraean pearls, or gems polished by the fingers of the He- liades,^ a name which the cranes flying to the skies might de- scribe with their wings,^ and which is fit only for Caesar's palace. Thy name the sweetest season in does bring, (Joy of the plund'ring bees) the flow'ry spring ; Which to decypher Venus may delight, Or Cupid, with a plume from 's own wing, write ; Which those, that amber chafe, should only note, Or be upon, or with a jewel wrote ; A name the cranes do figure as they fly. And boast to Jove, as they approach the sky : A name that does with no place else comport, But where 'tis fix'd, only in Csesar's court. Anon. 1695. XIV. ON A PAEASITE EEIEND. Do you think that this fellow, whom your dinners and hos- pitality have made your friend, is a model of sincere attach- ment ? He loves your wild boars, and your mullets, and your sows' teats, and your oysters — not yourself. If I dined as sumptuously, he would be my friend. Think'st thou his friendship ever faithful proves. Whom first thy table purchas'd ? no, he loves Thy oysters, mullets, boars, sowes' paps, not thee : If I could feast him so, he would love me. 3Ia]/. 1 See B. iv. Ep. 25 ; B. v. Ep. 38. 2 The cranes as they fly form the letter V, the first of the word ver, '* spring." 400 maetial's This honest friend, that you so much admire, No better is than a mere trencher-squire. He loves not you ; but salmon, turkey, chine : Your friend a better dinner will make mine. Hay. XT. OS CHLOE. The shameless Chloe placed on the tomb of her seven hus- bands the inscription, " The vs^ork of Chloe." How could she have expressed herself more plainly ? On her seven husbands' tombs she doth impress This Chloe did: what can she more confess.^ Wright. On her seven husbands' tombs "This Chloe made" She writes : what could she have more plainly said ? Old MS. 16th Cent. In Stepney church-yard seven tombs in a row For the reader's soft sympathy call ; On each — ''My dear husband lies buried below." And Chloe 's the widow to all. Westminster Review, April, 1853. XYI. OlS THE HAIE OE EAEINTJS. The youth, who is dearest to the emperor of all that com- pose his court, and who has a name that denotes the season of spring, has presented his mirror, which showed him how beautiful he was, and his graceful locks, as sacred offerings to the god of Pergamus.^ Happy is the land that is honoured by such a present ! It would not have preferred even the locks of Ganymede. ' His lovely hayre, and form's adviser, hee, (His glass,) Pergamean god, devotes to thee ! Hee, by liis lord in court so highly priz'd, Whose name the sweets o' th' spring characteriz'd. Happy the place that 's honour'd with such hayre, As will not yield to Ganymede's for fajTc. Old 31 S. leth Cent. XVII. O^ THE SAilE, TO vESCULAPIUS. Venerable grandson of Latona, who mitigatest with healing herbs the rigorous threads and rapid distaffs of the Pates, these tresses, which have attracted the praise of the emperor, are sent to thee by the youth, thy votary, as his consecrated ' iEsculapius, who had a magnificent temple at Pergamus. BOOK IX.] EPIGEAMS. 401 oiFerings, from the city of Eome. He has sent with his sacred hair, too, a shining mirror, by the aid of which his beauteous tresses were arranged. Do thou preserve his youth- ful beauty, that he may prove not less handsome with his hair short than long. Thou that with powerfull druggs reversest fate's Decrees, and eekest out life's shortest dates, To thee this youth his vowed ha}Te doth send, "Which, with himself, his lord did soe commend: His spotless mirrour too does joyne with theise, The fayth full judge of 's face's takeingst dress. Preserve thou his youth's beauty, that less fayre He grow not in his short, than longer, havre. Old MS. \Qth Cent. XYIII. TO DOMITIAIS', PETITIOIS'I^^G TOE A SUPPLY OF WATEE. I possess, and pray that I may long continue to possess, under thy guardianship, Csesar, a small country seat ; I have also a modest dwelling in the city. But a winding machine has to draw, with laborious effort, water for my thirsting m garden from a small valley ; Avhile my dry house complains ^• that it is not refreshed even by the slightest shower, although the Marcian fount ^ babbles close by. The water, which thou wilt grant, Augustus, to my premises, will be for me as the water of Castalia or as showers from Jupiter. A petty farm, and humble gods in town, By thee, and may they long, my wishes crown. But, Caesar, from the vale, to slake the grass, A painful pump must win the wave to pass : And then the house complains no fountain cheers ; TVTien, babbling by, the Marcian rill she hears. The stream Augustus on our gods shall pour, i Will prove Castalian, or the Thund'rer's show'r. Elphitiston. XIX. TO SABELLUS. Tou praise, in three hundred verses, Sabellus, the baths of Ponticus, who gives such excellent dinners. Tou wish to dine, Sabellus, not to bathe. Thou praysest in three hundred lines Ponticus' taths, who richly dines ; Thy minde to eate, not wash, inclines. 3Iay. 1 B. vi. Ep. 42. 2d h 402 maetial's Your verses on my lord mayor's coach declare, Not that you ride, but dine, with my lord mayor. Hay. XX. TO D0MITIAI7, ON HIS ERECTION OE A TEMPLE ON THE SPOT WHERE HE WAS BOEN. This piece of land, which lies so open to all, and is covered with marble and gold, witnessed the birth of the infant lord of the world. Happy land, that resounded with the cries of so illustrious an infant, and saw and felt his little hands spreading over it ! Here stood the venerable mansion, which gave to the earth that which Ehodes,^ and pious Crete, gave to the starry heaven. The Curetes ^ protected Jupiter by the rattling of their arms, such as Phrygian eunuchs were able to bear. But thee, Caesar, the sire of the Immortals protected, and the thunderbolt and aegis were thy spear and buckler. On this grand spot, which gold and marble crown, Smil'd first the infant-lord of her renown. What joy was hers, to hear th' auspicious cry, And teach the sprawling hands to hail the sky. Here stood the awful dome, that brought mankind What Rhodes, what pious Crete, to heav'n assign' d. The fam'd Curetes well might clang their arms : Half-men could guard a little god from harms. But, Csesar, thee the sire of gods conceal'd : The bolt and ^gis prov'd thy spear and shield. Elphinston. XXI. TO AUGTUS. Artemidorus possesses a favourite boy, but has sold his farm: Calliodorus received his farm in exchange for the boy. Say, which of the two has done best, Auctus ? Artemidorus plays the lover ; Calliodorus the ploughman.^ Artemidore his purchas'd fair may boast : But ev'ry clod for balmy bliss he sold. Still-laughing lands have Calliodore engross'd : Of both the friends the wond'rous truth be told. ^ Neptune was born in Rhodes ; Jupiter in Crete. 2 Priests of Cybele; originally from Phrygia. 3 Artemidorus, whose name is from the chaste Artemis, or Diana, is a lover ; Calliodorus, whose name is from koXKoq, " beauty," is turned a mere ploughman. BOOK IX.] EPIGEAMS. 403 Say, Auctus, whether made superior choice ? Or let the queens of land and love decide. For ploughman Cal shall Venus give her voice ? Can am'rous Art remain Diana's pride ? Elphinston. XXII. TO PASTOE. You think, perhaps, Pastor, that I ask riches with the same motive with which the vulgar and ignorant herd ask them ; that the soil of Setia may be tilled with my ploughshares, arid our Tuscan land resound with the innumerable fetters of my slaves ; that I may own a hundred tables of Maureta- nian marble supported on pedestals of Libyan ivory, arid that ornaments of gold may jingle on my couches ; that my lips may press only large cups of crystal, and that my Falerniau wine may darken the snow in which it is cooled ; that Syrian slaves, clad in Canusian wool, may perspire unde*r the weight of my litter, while it is surrounded by a crowd of fashionable clients ; that my guests, full of wine, may envy me the posses- sion of a cupbearer, whom I would not change even for Grany- mede; that I may ride a prancing mule to bespatter my Tyrian cloak ; or goad with my whip a steed from Marseilles. It is not, I call the gods and the heavens to witness, for any such objects. Eor what, then ? That I may bestow gifts. Pastor, and build houses. Perhaps you think more riches I desire, From motives which the vulgar herd inspire. That the bright plough share shine upon my lands \ And that my farm employ a hundred hands. My tables from carv'd frames derive an air ; From gilt ones my settee or elbow-chair. That the huge massy golden cup be mine ; Or ice look crimson'd by my cooling wine. That two tall Irishmen my chair support ; Or at my levee beaux may pay their court. Or when my mellow guest is put to bed. He may admire the beauty of my maid. In harness gay my set of greys advance ; Or that my pad at Foubert's learn to dance. But, witness heaven ! and judge if I speak true ! Not one of all those things have I in view. Building my passion is, and to extend Alms to the poor, and presents to a friend. Hay, 2 D 2 404. MAETIAL S XXIII. TO CARTJS. thou, whose lot it was to have thy head decorated with th< golden virgin crown, ^ say. Cams, where is now thy Palladianj trophy ? " Thou seest the countenance of our emperor re-j splendent in marble ; my crown went of its own accord toj place itself on those locks." The sacred oak ^ may be jealous of the Alban olive, for being the first to surround that uncon-j quered head. O thou, whose head with golden glory gloVd, Say, where my friend the virgin-boon bestow'd ? In marble fix'd th' imperial features view : The crown, spontaneous, round the honours flew. With envy may the oak the olive eye, That this should now th' unvanquish'd wreath supply. Elphinston. XXIV. TO THE SAME, OT^T HIS BUST OF DOMITIAN". What sculptor, imitating the lineaments of the imperialAj bust, has surpassed in E-oman marble the ivory of Phidias ?" I This is the face that rules the world ; these are the features of Jove in his calm majesty ; such is the god when he hurls his thunder in a cloudless sky. Pallas has given thee. Cams, not only her crown, but the image of thy lord, which thou hast thus honoured. What noble artist has such glory won ? In taking Caesar's face, Phidias out-done ? Whose polish'd iv'ry is no way so fair, As with the Latian marble to compare. Such, with delight, we see heav'n's face, and wonder When, without clouds, serene, we hear it thunder. Pallas not only gave thee th' olive wreath. But her own work, this statue, did bequeath. Anon. 1695. XXV. TO APEE. Whenever I glance at your Hyllus as he pours out my wine, Afer, you fix upon me an eye full of mistrust. WThat harm is there, I ask, in admiring a pretty attendant ? We gaze at the sun, the stars, the temples, the gods. Am I toj 1 The crown, in the form of an olive wreath, presented by the emperor to the victor in the games of the Quinquatria, celebrated in honour of Minerva on the Alban mount. 2 The crown of oak-leaves usually worn by Domitian. See B. viii. Ep. 8. BOOK IX.] EPIGRAMS. 405 turn away my head and hide my eyes and countenance, as though a Grorgon were handing me the cups ? Alcides was severe ; yet he permitted Hylas to be looked at ; and Mercury is allowed to play with Granymede. If you do not wish your guests, Afer, to look at your youthful attendants, you should invite only such as Phineus and (Edipus.^ As oft as we thy Hyllus do behold Filling thy wine, thy brows do seem to scold ; What crime is 't, I would know, to view thy boy ? We look upon the gods, the stars, the day. Shall I fling back as when a Gorgon lies Steep'd in the cup ? and hide my face and eyes ? Great Hercules was fierce in cruelty, Yet we might see his pretty Hylas free : Nor would great Jove have aught in wrath to say If Mercury with Ganymede did play. (Afer) if then we must not view thy loose Soft ministers that serve thee in thy house, Invite such men as Phineus to be Thy guests, or CEdipus, that ne'er could see. Fletcher. XXYI. TO NERYA.2 He who ventures to send verses to the eloquent Nerva, will present common perfumes to Cosmus,^ violets and privet to the inhabitant of Psestum, and Corsican honey to the bees of Hybla. Yet there is some attraction in even a humble muse ; the cheap olive is relished even when costly dainties are on the table. Be not surprised, however, that, conscious of the mediocrity of her poet, my Muse fears your judgment. Nero himself is said to have dreaded your criticism, when, in his youth, he read to you his sportive effusions. Who Hues to witty Nerva dares present, As well might perfumes to th' Exchange have sent ; To Psestum flow'rs, to th' country privet send, Or Hybla's hives with Corsick honey mend : Yet may a slender muse some gust afford ; 'Mong choycest fare sowre olives come to th' board. Nor wonder that our Muse, being conscious Of her meane worth, should dread thy judgment thus : ^ Both were blind. Phineus was a king of Salmydessus in Thrace, and an augur. 2 See B. viii. Ep. 70. 3 Probably the Cosmus elsewhere mentioned as a perfumer. 406 maetial's Nero himself, with 's wanton straines, did feare In youth, 't is sayd, t' approach thy critick. eare. Old MS. 16th Cent. XXVII. TO CHEESTUS. Cum depilates, Chreste, coleos portes, Et vulturino mentulam parem collo, Et prostitutis levius caput culis, Nee vivat uUus in tuo pilus crure, Purgentque crebrae cana labra volsellae ; Curios, Camillos, Quinctios, Numas, Ancos, Et quidquid usquam legimus pilosorum Loqueris, sonasque grandibus minax verbis ; Et cum theatris, seculoque rixaris. Occurrit aliquis inter ista si draucus, Jam psedagogo liberatus, et cujus Eefibulavit turgidum faber penem : Nutu vocatum ducis, et pudet fari, Catoniana, Chreste, quod facisf lingua. O Chresto, quantunque porti i testicoli spelati, ed una mentola si- mile al collo d' un Avotojo, e '1 capo piu allegerito di natiche pro- stituite, ne verun pelo esista su le tue coscie, e le mollette sovvente usate nettino le canute tue labra ; tu parli dei Curii, dei Camilli, dei Quintii, dei Numa, degli Anchi, e di quanti altri pelosi che noi leg- giamo, e severo ti fai sentire con parole gonfie ; e ti sdegni coi tea- tri, e coi tempi. Se fra tanto ti capita qualche nerboruto di gia li- berato dal pedagogo, il di cui turgido membro abbia il fabro sfibbiato, tu lo conduci chiamato con un segno : e mi vergogno dire, O Chresto, cio che fai coUa tua lingua da Catone. Graglia, XXVIII. EPITAPH ON LATIKUS. I, that lie here, am Latinus, the pleasing ornament of the stage, the honour of the games, the object of your ap- plause, and your delight; who could have fixed even Cato himself as a spectator, and have relaxed the gravity of the Curii and Eabricii. Biit my life took no colour from the stage, and I was known as an actor only in my profession. Nor could I have been acceptable to the emperor without strict morality. He, like a god, looks into the inmost re- cesses of the mind. Call me, if you please, the slave of laurel-crowned Phoebus, provided Eome knows that I was the servant of her Jupiter. BOOK IX.] EPIGRAMS. 407 The charming grace, the glory of the stage, Th' applause, the darling pastime of the age ; Latin lies here, whom Cato would have made His fix'd spectator, sourness have allay'd In rough Fabricius. His strict life ne'er drew The stage's vice, its arts he only knew. Dear to his lord, he must, by virtue, be, His lord, whose eyes the inward mind do see. Him, Phoebus' parasite, cease, Rome, to name, To be thy Jove's domestic, he did claim. Anon. 1695. I 'm that arch fellow Foote, the delight of his age, The fame and applause of the droll mimic stage ; 'T is I who, by muscles quite chang'd and grimace, Could the deep lurking laugh of great senators trace, And quite shorten the length of Sir Thomas's face. 'T is I who the various powers have shown Of changing the face by a secret unknown : The feign'd laugh, ogling smile, and the wide vacant stare, That has made the spectators all loudly declare They never saw anything like it, they swear. Thus, during my life-time, my house was still showing That by my sole art I could keep the scenes going. But what will become of it after I 'm dead The Lord knows, but fear 't will lie low as my head ! I 've taken o^ others till quite out of breath. And now I 'm taken off by that fell serjeant. Death. B.ev. Mr. Scott, 1773. XXIX. EPITAPH ON" PHILJBNIS. After having lived through a period as long as the age of Nestor, are you then so suddenly carried off, Philsenis, to Pluto's streams below ? You had not yet counted the long years of the Cumaean Sibyl ; she wsls older by three months. Alas ! what a tongue is silent ! a tongue that not a thousand cages full of slaves, nor the crowd of the votaries of Serapis, nor the schoolmaster's curly-headed troop hurrying to their lessons in the morning, nor the bank resounding with flocks of Strymonian cranes, could overpower. "Who will hence- forth know how to draw down the moon with Thessalian circle ? ^ "Who will display such skill in managing an amorous intrigue for money ? May the earth lie lightly on you, and may you be pressed with a thin covering of sand, that the dogs may not be prevented from rooting up your bones ! * Thessaly was celebrated for magic arts. 408 * maetial's Philsenis, old as Nestor, must thou take So soone thy passage to th' infernall lake ? Thou hadst not reach'd the Sibyll's age ; her count, Alas ! does thine yet full three months surmount. Ah ! what a tongue 's now silenc'd, which no cry Of Isis' priests, or gaole-birds, could outvie ; Or in a morning a full schoole of boyes. Or flock of screaming wylde-geese, e'er outnoyse. Who now shall charme the moone with magic whirle ? What bawd know how to sell this or that girle ? May gentle earth, and light dust, cover thee, Lest thy bones unscratch'd up by dogs should bee ! Old MS. 16th Cent. XXX. 0:N" the C02fJU&AL APFECTIOiT OF FIGEII7A. Antistius Eusticus has perished on the barbarian frontiers of the Cappadocians, land guilty of a lamentable crime ! Ni- grina brought back in her bosom the bones of her dear hus- band, and complained that the way was not sufficiently long ; * and, when she was confiding the sacred urn to the tomb, which she envied, she seemed to herself to lose her husband a second time. When late his Grace at Naples did expire (A place we now may curse, and not admire), The pious wife brought home the dear remains ; And of the journey short, too short, complains. Envies the tomb that robs her of his urn ; A loss which she, as widow' d twice, doth mourn. Sai/- XXXI. ON THE YOW OP YELITJS. Yelius, while accompanying Caesar on his northern expe- dition, vowed, for the safety of his leader, to immolate a goose ^ to Mars. The moon had not fully completed eight revolu- tions,^ when the god demanded fulfilment of his vow. The goose itself hastened willingly to the altar, and fell a humble victim on the sacred hearth. Do you see those eight me- dals hanging from the broad beak of the bird ? ^ They were recently hidden in its entrails.^ The victim which offers pro- ^ That she might have had his relics longer in her possession. 2 The preserver of the Roman empire, 3 The war lasted only eight months. * A silver image of the goose, to the beak of which eight medals were suspended, indicative of the eight months of the war. * In allusion to the taking of omens by inspecting the entrails of birds. BOOK IX.] EPIGEAMS. 409 pitious sacrifices for thee, Caesar, with silver instead of blood, teaches us that we have no longer need of steel (the sword). In northern climes, amid sublime alarms, This bird a Velius vow'd for Caesar's arms. Not twice four times her course did Luna stray, When Mars his vot'ry call'd his vow to pay. The gander joyous peal'd his fun'ral knell, And on the sacred fire spontaneous fell. Eight wondrous coins he dropt from out his bill : These from his bowels he did late distil. Who now with silver, not with blood, atones ; The happy unavail of iron owns. Elphinston. XXXII. ON THE CHOICE OE A MISTEESS. I prefer one who is free and easy, and who goes about clad in a loose robe ; one, who has just before granted favours to my young slave ; one, whom a couple of pence will buy. She who wants a great deal of money, and uses grand words, I leave to the fat and foolish Gascon. XXXIII. TO ELACCTJS. Audieris in quo, Flacce, balneo plausum ; Matronis illic esse mentulam scito. Tu, O Flacco, avrai sentito in qualche bagno delo schiamazzo ; sapi che cola v' e 1 cotale d' un drauco. Graglia. XXXIV. TO CiBSAR, ON THE TEMPLE OF THE FLAYIAN FAMILY. Jupiter, when he saw the Flavian temple rising under the sky of Eome, laughed at the fabulous tomb erected to himself on Mount Ida, and, having drunk abundantly of nectar at table, exclaimed, as he was handing the cup to his son Mars, and addressing himself at the same time to Apollo and Diana, with whom were seated Hercules and the pious Arcos, " You gave me a monument in Crete ; see how much better a thing it is to be the father of Caesar !" When Jove great Caesar's Flavian temple ey'd. His fabulous Cretan tombe he did deride. And when at table he did freely supp Nectar, and gave to Mars, his sonne, the cupp. Looking on Phoebus, and bright Phoebe, where Faire Maia's sonne and great Alcides were, " You rais'd me Cretan monuments," quoth he. How much more Caesar's father 'tis to be ! " May. 410 maetial's XXXV. TO PHILOMFSIJS. These are the contrivances, PMlomusus, by which you are constantly trying to secure a dinner ; inventing numbers of fictions, and retailing them as true. You are informed of the counsels of Pacorus at the court of Parthia ; you can tell the exact nurtibers of the Grerman and Sarmatian armies. You reveal the unopened despatches of the Dacian general ; you see a laurelled letter, announcing a victory, before its arrival. You know how often dusky Syene has been watered by Egyp- tian floods ; you know how many ships have sailed from the shores of Africa ; you know for whose head the Julian olives grow, and for whom the Pather of Heaven^ destines his triumphal crowns. A truce to your arts ; you shall dine with me to-day, but only on this condition, Philomusus, that you tell me no news. By these stale arts a dinner you pursue ; You trump up any tale and tell as true. Know how the councils at the Hague incline ; What troops in Italy and on the Rhine. A letter from the general produce, Before the officers could have the news. Know to an inch the rising of the Nile : What ships are coming from each sugar isle: What we expect from this year's preparation : Who shall command the forces of the nation. Leave off these tricks ; and with me if you choose To dine to-day, do so ; but then, no news. B^ay, XXXVI. CONVERSATION OE GANYMEDE AND JUPITEE ON EAEINUS AND OTHEE EAVOIJEITES OE DOMITIAN. When the Phrygian youth, the well-known favourite of the other Jupiter, had seen the Ausonian attendant ^ mth his hair just shaved off, "0 sovereign ruler," said he, " concede to thy youth what thy Caesar has granted to his. The first down upon my chin is now succeeded by longer hairs ; thy Juno now laughs at me and calls me a man." To whom the Fa- ther of Heaven answered, " Oh, sweetest boy, not I, but ne- cessity, denies your request. Our Caesar has a thousand cup- bearers like you ; and his palace, large as it is, scarcely holds the brilliant troop. But if your hair be shaved, and give Jupiter Capitolinus. 2 Earinus. See Ep. 17 and 18. BOOK IX.] EPIGEAMS. 411 you a man's visage, what other youth will be found to mix my nectar for me ?" When late the Phrygian youth espied Th' Ausonian, with his locks laid down j To Jupiter he humbly cried, On my desire, oh ! do not frown. What privilege thy Caesar deign' d, To bid his stripling fond enjoy, Of thee, great ruler, be obtain' d, To bless thine ever grateful boy. The down, with which my cheek is clad, Beneath my waving honours plays. " Thou now art quite a man, my lad," To me thy smiling consort says. To whom the sire : " My sweetest boy, Thou seem'st not yet maturely wise. Thou know'st I would indulge thy joy : But thee the thing itself denies. A thousand ministers, like thee. Adorn my dear Augustus' hall : Her vast expanse, whate'er it be, Can hardly hope to hold them all. Should the rich harvest of thy hair Upon thy looks implant the man ; To mix my nectar, tell me where I could supply another Gan ? " Elphinston. XXXVII. TO GALLA. Though, while you yourself, Galla, are at home, you are being dressed out in the middle of the Suburra, and your locks are prepared for you at a distance ; though you lay aside your teeth at night with your silk garments, and lie stowed away in a hundred boxes ; though even your face does not sleep with you, and you ogle me from under eyebrows which are brought to" you in the morning ; though no consi- deration of your faded charms, which belong to a past gener- ation, moves you ; though all this is the case, you offer me six hundred sesterces. But nature revolts, and, blind though she be,^ she sees very well what you are. When, thou at home and absent, borrow'd hayre And tyres for thee the shops doe still prepare ; 1 See B. vi. Ep. 23 and 33. 412 maetial's When teeth, as cloaths, at sleeping times layd by, Thy face at night doth never with thee lye ; Lock'd up in hundred boxes ; whence i' th' morne, That looke they bring thee out is next day worne ; Yet, without rev'rence to thy locks (as old As grand-dame's), thou to Cupide offer'st gold ; But Cupid's deafe ; and, ne'er so blind, can see Thou temptest not to sport, but drudgerie. Old MS. 16th Cent XXXYIlt. TO AGATHINTIS, A JUGaLER. Though, Agathinus, you play dangerous tricks with the utmost niinbleness, you still cannot contrive to let your shield fall. It seems to follow you, even against your mil, and, returning through the thin air, seats itself either on your foot, or your back, or your hair, or your finger. However slippery the stage may be with showers of saf- fron, and however the violent south winds may tear the canvass opposed to its fury, the shield, without apparent guidance, freely traverses your limbs, unimpeded by either wind or water. Even though you wished to fail, whatever your endeavours, you could not ; and the fall of your shield would be the greatest proof of your art. Little nimble Agathine, What consummate art is thine ! Play thy postures, one and all j Never will the target fall. Thee she follows everywhere : Stooping through the easy air, To thy hand or foot she flies, On thy back or buttock lies. Slipp'ry footing proves no dread, Though the show'r Corycian shed ; Though the rapid southern gales Strive to rend theatric vails. Still secure, the careless boy Flings from limb to limb the toy ; And the artist well may brave All the force of wind and wave. Little dextrous Agathine, To eschew should'st thou incline, Poor thy chance, alone of this : Who still hits, can never miss. Thou must change thy postures all ; Else the target ne'er will fall. Elphinston. BOOK IX.] EPIGEAMS. 413 XXXIX. ON THE BIETH-DAT OP C^SOISTIA. This is the anniversary of the first day on which the Pala- tine Thunderer ^ saw light, a day on which Cybele might have desired to give birth to Jove. On this day, too, the chaste Csesonia was born, the daughter of my friend Eafus; no maiden owes more than she to her mother. The husband re- joices in the double good fortune which awaits his prayers, and that it has fallen to his lot to have two reasons for lov- ing this day. This was our earthly Jove's first happy mom, Rhea oft wish'd her Jove upon it born, AVhich day first light did to Csesonia show, No daughter e'er t' a mother more did owe ; Two mighty joys the day in Kufus moves, "Which for his prince, and for his wife, he loves. Anon. 1695. XL. ON DIODOErS AND HIS WIFE PHIL^NIS. When Diodorus left Pharos for Eome, to win the Tar- peian crowns,^ his Philaenis made a vow for his safe return, that a young girl, such as even the chastest woman might love, should prepare her for his embraces. The ship being destroyed by a terrible storm, Diodorus, submerged and overwhelmed in the deep, escaped by swimming, through the influence of the vow. Oh husband too tardy and too sluggish ! If my mistress had made such a vow for me upon the shore, I should have returned at once. Against the high Tarpeian time, "When garlands render heads subhme ; To Rome retui'ning, Diodore The canvass spread from Pharos' shore. Philaenis for her lord's return, ' Fanning the flame that bid her bum, Vow'd that the purest maid should meet What Sabine dames not blush to greet. The vessel wreck'd in the profound. Poor Diodore was just not djown'd. He swims through each opposing storm, The vow all pious to perform. Yet kinder than deserv'd his fate : 'T was well he came, nor came too late. ^ Domitian. 2 In the Quinquatrian games. See Ep. 23, and B. iv. Ep. 54, 414 maetial's I, so devoted by my dove, Would fly upon the wings of love. JEIphinston. XLI. TO PONTICUS. Pontice, quod nunquam futuis, sed pellice laeva Uteris, et veneri servit arnica manus : Hoc niliil esse putas ? scelus est, mihi crede, sed ingens, Quantum vix animo concipis ipse tuo. Nempe semel futuit, generaret Horatius ut tres ; Mars semel, ut geminos Ilia casta daret. Omnia perdiderat, si masturbatus uterque Mandasset manibus gaudia foeda suis. Ipsam crede tibi naturam dicere rerum : Istud quod digitis, Pontice, perdis, homo est. O Pontico, il perche tu mai immembri, ma usi 1' adultera ti sinistra, e 1' arnica mano serve a Venere : pensi tu che cio sia niente ? E' una sceleragine, credimi, ma si grande e tale, che appena tu stesso la concepisci nell' animo tuo. In fatti, Orazio immembro una volta sola perche generasse tre figliuoli. Marte una volta, perche la casta Ilia dasse i gemelli. L' uno e 1' altro avrebbe distrutto ogni cosa, se qual masturbatore avesse abbandonate i sozzi piaceri alle sue mani. Credi, che la natura stessa delle cose ti dice : cio che, O Pontico, distruggi colle dita, e un uomo. Graglia. XLII. TO APOLLO, THAT STELLA MAT HAYE THE CONSULSHIP. So mayst thou ever be rich, Apollo, in thy sea-girt plains ; so mayst thou ever have delight in thy ancient swans ; so may the learned sisters ever serve thee, and thy Delphic oracles never speak falsely ; so may the palace of Caesar wor- ship and love thee ; as the kind Domitian shall speedily grant and accord to Stella, at my request, the twelve fasces. Happy then shall I be, and, as thy debtor for the fulfilment of my prayer, will lead to the rustic altar a young steer with golden horns, as a sacrifice to thee. The victim is already born, Phoebus ; why dost thou delay ? So may thy temples, Phoebus, honour'd be ; Prophetic swans held sacred unto thee ; The muses glory to make up thy train, The Delphic oracles prove never vain ; BOOK IX.] EPIGEAMS. 415 The palace divine worship to thee pay, As Caesar (thou inspiring him) shall say, The grace thou ask'st, to Stella I will show, Consular ensigns upon him bestow. Thy happy debtor then, a steer I '11 bring, With gilded horns, for my glad offering ; This vow upon my rural altar pay ; The victim's ready, Phoebus, why dost stay ? Anon, 1695. XLIII. OK A STATUE OF HEECULES, THAT HAD COME INTO THE POSSESSION OE YINDEX. This great deity, represented by a small bronze image, who mitigates the hardness of the rocks on which he sits by spreading over them his lion's skin ; who, with upraised countenance, gazes on the heaven which he once supported ; whose left hand is engaged with his club, and his, right with a cup of wine, is not a new-born celebrity, or a glory of our own sculptor's art. You behold the noble work of Lysippus, which he presented to Alexander the Grreat. This divinity adorned the table of the monarch of Pella, so soon laid in the earth which he had subdued. By this god, Hannibal, when a child, took his oath at the Libyan altar ; this god bade the cruel Sulla lay down his kingly power. Offended by the proud despotism of various courts, he now delights to inhabit a private house ; and, as he was formerly the guest of the benevolent Molorchus, so he desires now to be the god of the learned Yindex. On stone, with softer lyon's skinn o'erlayd. This mighty god, that sits in brass pourtray'd. Looking to th' starrs, sustayn'd once by his might, Whose left hand his clubb warmes, and wine his right, Is no new piece of which our gravers boast ; Wee to Lysippus owe this paynes and cost. This once the Macedonian youth possess'd. Who soone the whole world conquer'd, soone deceas'd ; Then Hannibal to Libyan coasts translated ; Who Sylla's sterne commanding power abated. Brooking no longer swelling tyrants' courts, T' a private dwelling hee at length resorts ; And, as he once was kind Molorchus' guest, So with learn'd Vindex now this god will rest. Old MS. IQth Cent. 416 maetial's xliv. ott the same. I lately asked Yindex to whose happy toil and workman- sliip his Hercules owed his existence. He smiled, as is his wont, and, with a slight inclination of head, " Pray," said he, " my dear poet, can you not read Grreek ? The pedestal bears an inscription which tells you the name." I read the word Lysippus, I thought it had been the work of Phidias. When late Alcides' self I saw A Vindex' guest, I gaz'd with awe ; Yet humbly of the god inquir'd, What human art he had inspir'd, To bid his image stand confess'd. His godship scarce his smile suppress'd ; And, nodding bland, thus deign'd to speak : Poor bardling, dost thou know no Greek ? Behold the base, and learn to spell : Thence wonder and inquiry quell, I, blushing, there AYSinnOY scann'd ; But thought it had been Phidias' hand. Elphinston. XLY. TO MARCELLINTJS. Tou are now about to set out, Marcellinus, as a soldier to the northern climes, to brave the sluggish constellations ot the Gretic sky : there the Promethean rocks and the fabled mountains, to which you must now go, will be close to your eyes ! When you have beheld the rocks, the confidants of the mighty plaints of old Prometheus, you will say, " He was more enduring than they." And you may add, "He who was able to bear such sufferings, was well qualified to fashion the race of mortals." Now thou bear'st arms under the northern pole, Near which the constellations slowly roll ; With thy approaching eyes thou may'st behold Prometheus' rock, the fabulous scene of old, Where th' aged hero fill'd both earth and skies With hideous exclamations and loud cries, The tortures proving, which he there sustain' d, The rock less hard to which his limbs were chain'd. Who can men's hardships or hard hearts admire. When they, the offspring, are of such a sire ? Anon. 1695. XLVI. OK GELLIUS. G-ellius is always building ; sometimes he is laying down thresholds, sometimes fitting keys to doors, and buying BOOK IX.] EPI&EAMS. 417 locks ; sometimes he is changing or replacing windows. He does anything to be engaged in building, and all this that he may be able to say to any friend who asks him for a loan, " I am building." He still is building : patches up a door, Alters a lock, or key ; and nothing more : Removes a window ; puts it in repair : So he but build, no matter what th' affair ; That he may answer, ask him when you will To lend you money, " I am building still." Hay. XLYII. TO PAITNICE. Democritos, Zenonas, inexplicitosque Platonas, Quidquid et hirsutis squalet imaginibus, Sic quasi Pythagoras loqueris successor et hseres, Prsependet sane nee tibi barba minor. Sed, quod et hircosis serum est, et turpe pilosis, In molli rigidam clune libenter habes. Tu qui sectarum causas et pondera nosti. Die mihi, percidi, Pannice, dogma quod est ? Tu cosi rammemori i Democriti, i Zenoni, e gli inesplicabili Pla- toni, e tutto cio che v'e di succido per le irsute immagini, quasi suc- cessore ed erede di Pitagora : ne minor barba ti pende dal mento. Ma cio che tardi si sente agli ircosi, e turpevolmente pelosi, tu volontieri lo comporti insopportabile nelle effeminate coscie. Tu che sai le origini, e gli argomenti delle Sette, dimmi, o Pannico, esser inciso che dogma e ? Graglia. Thy words the deep recondite lore resound Of Plato, Zeno, what 's severest found 'Mong those whose horrid images affect To doom all vice, by their austere aspect ; Speak thee Pythag'ras successor and heir. Nor 'bate thou him in bush of beard a hair. Thou 'st yet, what 's shameful, and shou'd ne'er be said, A wanton mind to this thy awful head. Say thou, who th' axioms of all sects dost know. Whose dogma 'tis, the scars of lust to show. Anon. 1695. XLYIII. TO GAERICTJS. As you swore to me, G-arricus, by your gods and by your head, that I was to inherit the fourth of your estate, I be- lieved you, (for who would willingly disbelieve what he de- sires ?) and nursed my hopes by continually giving you pre- 2e 418 maetial's sents ; among which I sent you a Laurentian boar of extra- ordinary weight ; one that you might have supposed to be from JEtolian Calydon. But you forthwith invited the people and the senators ; and glutted Bome is not yet free from the taste of my boar. I myself (who would believe it ?) was not present even as the humblest of your guests ; not a rib, not even the tail, was sent me. How am I to expect from you a fourth part of your estate, Grarricus, when not even a twelfth part of my own boar came to me ? By all that 's good and sacred you do swear, To make me of a quarter part your heir. I think, you would not gratis go to hell ; Nor would I starve a humour I like well. 'Mongst other things I sent of bucks a brace, Fatter than any now on Enfield chace. Your corporation you invite to dine ; And cramm'd they were with ven'son which was mine. Though founder I, and not the meanest guest, You gave me not one morsel with the rest. A little ominous an empty plate ! Pray, don't forget a slice of your estate. Hay. XLIX. 01^ A TOGA GIVEIf HIM BY PAETHENIUS. This is that toga much celebrated in my little books, that toga so well known and loved by my readers. It was a present from Parthenius ; a memorable present to his poet long ago ; in it, while it was new, while it shone brilliantly with glistening wool, and while it was worthy the name of its giver, I walked proudly conspicuous as a Roman knight. Now it is grown old, and is scarce worth the acceptance of shivering poverty ; and you may well call it snowy .^ What does not time in the course of years destroy ? This toga is no longer Parthenius' s ; it is mine. This is that coat, so often by me sung. Upon whose praise the raptur'd reader hung. . His lordship's once ; a gift for poet meet ; In which I walk'd respected in the street. New, and with all its glossy honours on, Worthy its donor, it divinely shone. Now old, a hangman scorns it for his fees : And if it shines at all, it shines with grease. * See B. viii. Ep. 28. " See Note on B. iv. Ep. 34. BOOK IX.] EPIGEAMS. 419 All things by time, and length of years, decline : Is this his lordship's coat ? for shame ! 'tis mine. Hay. L. TO GATJETJS. You pretend to consider my talent as small, G-aurus, be- cause I write poems which please by being brief. I confess that it is so ; while you, who write the grand wars of Priam in twelve books, are doubtless a great man. I paint the favourite of Brutus,^ and Langon,^ to the life. You, great artist, fashion a giant in clay. Gaurus approves my wit but slenderly, 'Cause I write verse that please for brevity : But he in twenty volumes drives a trade Of Priam's wars. Oh, he's a mighty blade ! We give an elegant young pigmy birth, He makes a dirty giant all of earth. Fletcher. I am no genius, you affirm : and why ? Because my verses please by brevity. But you, who twice ten ponderous volumes write Of mighty battles, are a man of might. Like Prior's bust, my work is neat, but small: Kf Yours like the dirty giants in Guildhall. Hay. B LI. ON THE BEOTHEES LUCANUS AND TTJLLUS.^ P That which you constantly asked of the gods, Lucanus, has, ' in spite of your brother's remonstrances, fallen to your lot ; it has been your fate to die before him. Tullus envies you the privilege ; for he desired, though the younger, to go first to the Stygian waters. You are now an inhabitant of the Elysian fields, and, dwelling in the charming grove, are content, for the first time, to be separated from your brother ; and if Castor in his turn now comes from the brilliant stars, you, as another Pollux, exhort him not to return to them. To weary heaven, while gen'rous brothers vie, Thou, Lucan, earlier hast obtain'd to die. Nor seek'st unenvied thou the shades below : Tullus, thy younger, glad would elder go. Blest tenant of the bland Elysian grove, N ow first would'st thou without thy brother rove. 1 See B. xiv. Ep. 171. ' Of whom an elegant statuette was made by Lyciscus. Plin. H. N. XXXV. 8. » See B. I. Ep. 37. 2e2 420 maetial's Would Castor leave the light, to pay thy love, A Pollux thou would'st bid him stay above. JElphmston. LII. TO QUINTTIS OVIDITJS. If you but believe me, Quintus Ovidius, I love, as you de- serve, the first of April, your natal day, as much as I love my own first of March. Happy is either morn ! and may both days be marked by us with the whitest of stones ! The one gave me life, but the other a friend. Yours, Quintus, gave me more than my own. - Believing hear, what you deserve to hear : Your birth-day, as my own, to me is dear. Blest and distinguish' d days ! which we should prize The first, the kindest bounty of the skies. But yours gives most ; for mine did only lend Me to the world ; yours gave to me a friend. Hay. LIII. TO THE SAME. On your birth-day, Quintus, I wished to make you a small present : you forbade me ; you are imperious. I must obey your injunction : let that be done which we both desire, and whicb will please us both. Do you, Quintus, make me a present. When I would send such trifles as I can. You stop me short ! you arbitrary man ! But I submit. Both may our orders give ; And do what both like best : let me receive. ITai/. LIV. TO CAETJS. If I had thrushes fattened on Picenian olives, or if a Sa- bine wood were covered with my nets ; or if the finny prey were dragged on shore by my extended rod, or my branches, thickly limed, held fast the fettered birds ; I should ofier you, Cams, as an esteemed relative, the usual presents, and neither a brother nor a grandfather would have the preference over you. As it is, my fields resound only with paltry starlings and the plaints of linnets, and usher in the spring with the voice of the shrill sparrow. On one side, the ploughman re- turns the salutation of the magpie ; on the other, the rapaci- ous kite soars towards the distant stars. So I send you small presents from my bencoop ; and if you accept such, you will often be my relative. BOOK IX.] EPIGRAMS, 421 If a mew'd quail by accident I had ; Or snipe or woodcock taken in my glade j Could I a trout now with my angle get ; Or cover a young partridge with my net ; You, cousin, should have it sooner than another, As soon as my own father, or my brother. But now the fields with chattering magpies ring ; Sparrows and swallows now proclaim the spring : Now to the cuckow shepherd boys reply : The thieving kite now skims along the sky. So that I nothing but a fowl could send ; Which, if you like, you're always welcome, friend. Hay, LY. TO YALERIUS PLACCTJS. On the day sacred to relatives,^ on which many a fowl is sent as a present, there throngs around me, while I am pre- paring some thrushes for Stella, and some for you, Elaccus, an immense and troublesome crowd, of which each individual thinks that he ought to be the first in my affections. INIy desire was to show my regard for two ; to oflTend a number is scarcely safe ; while to send presents to all would be ex- pensive. I will secure their pardon in the only way that remains to me ; I will neither send thrushes to Stella nor to you, Placcus. When Christmas turkeys round in presents flew, One I design'd for Ned, and one for you. But most unluckily on this occasion, Fat turkeys make me friend to half the nation. Two I would fain oblige ; and none offend : But to give every one there is no end. I then determine, after counsel heard, That Ned and you must go without your bird. Hay. LYI. OK SPENDOPHOETJS, A rAYOIIIlITE OF DOMITIAK. Spendophorus, the armour-bearer of our sovereign lord, is setting out for the cities of Libya. Prepare weapons, Cupid, to bestow on the boy ; the arrows with which you strike youths and tender maids. Let there be also, however, a smooth spear in his delicate hand. Omit the coat of mail, the shield, and the helmet ; and that he may enter the battle in safety, let him go uncovered ; Parthenopaeus ^ was hurt ^ The first of March. 2 One of the seven chiefs against Thebes. His beauty is said to have been his defence. ^ 422 maetial's by no dart, no sword, no arrow, whilst he was unencumbered with a head-piece. Whoever shall be wounded by Spendo- phorus, will die of love. Happy is he whom a death so for- tunate awaits ! But return while thou art still a boy, and while thy face retains its youthful bloom, and let thy Eome, and not Libya, make a man of thee. To Libya goes Spendophorus to warre. Cupid, thy shafts for this faire Boy prepare, Those shafts, which youths and tender virgins wound; Light let thy speare in his soft hand be found. The breast-plate, helme, and shield I leave to thee ; To fight in safety, naked led him bee. No arrow, sword, nor dart could hurt in warre Parthenopaeus, whilst his face was bare. He whom this youth shall wound, will dye of love. And happy too so sweet a fate to prove. Whilst yet thy chin is smooth, fair boy, come home ; Grow not a man in Affricke, but at home. May. LVII. OS HEDTLUS. Nil est tritius Hedyli lacernis, Non anssB veterum Corinthiorum, JSTec crus compede lubricum decenni, ISTon ruptsD recutita colla mulse, Nee quae Elaminiam secant salebrse, Nee qui littoribus nitent lapilli. Nee Tusca ligo vinea politus. Nee pallens toga mortui tribulis. Nee pigri rota quassa mulionis. Nee rasum cavea latus bisontis. Nee dens jam senior ferocis apri. Ees una est tamen, ipse non negabit, Cuius tritior Hedyli lacernis. Nulla v' e di piii trito delle lacerne di Edilo, non i manichi dei vecchi vasi Corinzii, ne una gamba vacillante per i cepi decennali, non il collo ricutito d'una scorticata mula, ne gP ingombri che interumpono la Flaminia, ne le pietruzze che riluccono sui lidi, ne la zappa lustrata nella Tusca vigna, ne '1 palido mantello d' un povero defunto, ne la spezzata ruota del vecchio carrettiere, ne '1 fianco d' un bisonto spinto nella cava, ne '1 di gia vecchio dente d' un feroce cignale. Tuttavia v' e una cosa, esso non la neghera, il culo di Edilo e piu trito delle sue lacerne. Graglia. Than Hedyl's clothes is nought more bare : Not handles of Corinthian ware : BOOK IX.] EPIGRAMS. 423 With ten years' chain the shining shin ; Of batter'd mule the closing skin : No rut of old Flaminius' way ; No pebbles, on the shore that play : No polish'd spade, the vineyards show ; No paly gown, that shrouds the low : No sluggish driver's shatter'd wheel ; No shaven flank, when bisons reel Into th' insidious pit, and roar : No gleaming bolt of aged boar. Yet one thing 's much more worn away, A Hedyl's self will not gainsay. That wondrous thing must doubtless pose : His conscience ! triter than his clothes. JElphinston. LYIII. TO THE NTMPH OE SABINUS.^ Nymph, queen of the Sacred Lake, to whom Sabinus, with pious munificence, dedicates an enduring temple; receive with kindness, I pray thee, (so may mountainous Umbria ever worship thy source, and thy town of Sassina never prefer the waters of Baiae !) my anxious compositions which I oiFer thee. Thou wilt be to my muse the fountain of Pegasus. Whoever presents his poems to the temple of the Nymphs, indicates of himself what should be done with them. Queen of the lake, whose temples soar the skies, That my Sabinus' bounty gave to rise ! So may high Umbria in thy fountain lave, Nor Sassina prefer the Baian wave : Receive the anxious boon my muses bring, And duly prove their Pegasean spring. Who lays, ye nymphs, his labours in your fanes, Just intimates the merit of his strains. Elphinston. LIX. ON MAMUEEA. Mamurra, after having walked long and anxiously in the squares, where golden Rome ostentatiously displays her riches, viewed the tender young slaves, and devoured them with his eyes ; not those exposed in the open shops, but those which are kept for the select in private apartments, and are not seen by the people, or such as I am. Satiated with this inspection, he uncovers the tables square and round ; and asks to see some rich ivory ornaments which were displayed on the upper shelves. Then, having four times measured a dinner-couch 1 See B. vii. Ep. 97. 424 for six, wrought wifb tortoise-shell, he sorrowfully regretted that it was not large enough for his citron table. He con- sulted his nose whether the bronzes had the true Corinthian aroma, and criticised the statues of Polyclitus ! Next, com- plaining that some crystal vases had been spoiled by an ad- mixture of glass, he marked and set aside ten myrrhine cups. He weighed ancient bowls, and inquired for goblets that had been ennobled by the hand of Mentor. He counted emeralds set in chased gold, and examined the largest pearl ear-pendants. He sought on every counter for real sardo- nyxes, and cheapened some large jaspers. At last, when forced by fatigue to retire at the eleventh hour, he bought two cups for one small coin, and carried them home himself. Mamurra many hours does vagrant tell I' th' shops, where Rome her richest ware does sell. Beholds fair boys, devours them with his eyes, Not those of common note, one first espies ; But which in inner rooms they closely mew, Remov'd from mine, and from the people's view. Glutted with these, choice tables he uncases, Others of ivory, set high, displaces. Rich tortoise beds he measures four times o'er, Sighs, they fit not, and leaves them on that score. Consults the statues of Corinthian brass By the scent ; and not without blame lets pass Thy pieces, Polyclet. He next complains Of crystals mix'd with glass, and them disdains. Marks porcelain cups, sets ten of them apart : Weighs antique plate (of Mentor's noble art If any be) ; counts, i' th' enamell'd gold, The gems that stand. Rich pendants does behold : For the sardonyx makes a search most nice. And of the biggest jaspers beats the price. Tir'd now at last, after eleven hours' stay, Two farthing pots he bought, and himself bore away. Anon. 1695. Vainlove the live-long day strolls up and down. To view the choicest rarities in town. Ravish'd admires a Ganymede's soft mien ; Not such as is at common auctions seen ; But an old painting, capital, and rare ; Shown to the curious, and preserv'd with care. Then takes an inlaid table from its case : Searches a china jar, or marble vase. % BOOK IX.] EPIGEAMS. 425 A Turkey carpet measures ten times o'er ; And grieves it is too little for his floor. Of right japan then judges by his nose : In statues dares Sir Andrew's taste expose : Finds the French ware too much to glass allied ; The Dresden therefore marks, and sets aside. Baskets of filligrane he then takes up ; By Kent ennobled weighs a golden cup. Numbers the jewels that a ring may bear ; And wants a pendant for a lady's ear ; Looks till he diamonds of true water meets, And cheapens them, though half as big as Pitt's. At length fatigued, the hour of dinner come, He buys and bears two glass decanters home. Hay. LX. ON A CEOWN or EOSES SENT TO C^SITJS SABINUS. Whether thou wast produced in the fields of Psestum or of Tivoli, or whether the plains of Tusculum were decked with thy flowers ; whether a bailiff's wife culled thee in a Praenestine garden, or whether thou wast recently the glory of a Campanian villa, that thou mayst seem more beauteous to my friend Sabinus, let him think that thou comest from my Nomentan grounds. Did Psestum's gales, or Tibur's, bid thee blow ? Or Tusculum elicit all thy glow ? Thee in Praeneste's bed has hoyden slain ? Or wast the glory of Campania's plain ? Yet fairer to my Sabine that thou seem, Thee child of my own tendance may he deem. Elphinston. LXI. ON A PLANE-TEEE AT COEDOYA, PLANTED BT JTJLIIIS CJ;!SAE. In the regions about the Tartessus, where the rich lands of Cordova are watered by placid Bsetis, where the yellow flocks shine with the gold of the river, and living metal decks the fleece of Hesperian sheep, stands a well-known mansion, and in the midst of its courts, overshadowing the whole of the surrounding buildings, rises the plane-tree of Caesar, with its thick foliage, which was planted by the auspicious right hand of that invincible guest, and tended by it while yet a sapling. This tree seems to acknowledge by its vigour its parent and lord ; so richly does it flourish, and lift its branches towards the stars. Often, under this tree, have the playful Fauns 426 mabtial's sported with their midnight music, and the pipe has startled the quiet homestead ; often has the woodland Dryad, while flying from the nocturnal marauder Pan across the solitary fields, sought shelter beneath it ; and often have the house- hold gods retained the odour of the Bacchanalian banquets, which by their libations have developed its luxuriance. The turf has been strewed and vermilioned with the chaplets of yesterday, and no man could distinguish the roses that had belonged to his own. tree, favourite of the gods, tree of the great Caesar, fear not the axe nor the impious fire. Thou mayst hope for the glory of an ever- verdant foliage ; thou wast not planted by Pompeian hands. A well-known house doth in that country stand Where Baetis waters Corduba's rich land, Where wools their native mettal's colour keepe, And growing goldfoile gilds the Spanish sheepe. In midst of th' house, her gods ore-shadowing, Does Caesar's plaine-tree prosperously spring, Planted by that victorious guest, from whose Imperiall hand the tender twigg arose ; Which now it seems her lord and founder knowes, She spreads so fast her sky-aspiring bowes. Under that shade the rusticke Dryades And wanton Fauns themselves with sporting please ; And oft, as she by night from Pan doth fly, This silent house doth Syrinx terrifie. There oft hath l^acchus kept his revelling. When wine has made the tree more richly spring. There roses grow t' adorne the drinking crowne ; And none can say those roses are his owne. Great Csesar's tree, to all the gods most deare, No sacrilegious fire, nor hatchets feare; Still mayst thou hope honour'd with leaves to bee ; 'Twas no Pompeian hand that planted thee. May. LXII. Olf PHILJENIS. If Philsenis wears all day and night garments dyed with Tyrian purple, it is not that she is extravagant or proud ; it is the odour that pleases her,^ not the colour. That Tyrian tinge, both night and day, Philaenis in her trappings uses ; Nor pomp, nor pride, bespeaks th' array : The odour, not the hue, she chooses. Elphinston. Compare B. vii. Ep. 67, ^ To disguise the odour of her own person, and B. iv. Ep. 4. J BOOK IX.] EPIGRAMS. 427 LXIII. TO PH(EBTrS. All the licentious men about town invite you to their tables, Phoebus. He who gets his living under such circum- stances, is not, I consider, respectable company.^ LXIV. 01^ A STATUE OE DOMITIAT?' IN THE CHARACTER OE HERCULES. Caesar, having deigned to assume the form of the mighty Hercules, adds a new temple to the Latian way, at the spot where the traveller, who visits the grove of Diana, reads the inscription on the eighth milestone from the Queen of Cities. Formerly, Eomans, you used to worship Hercules, as the superior, with prayers and abundant blood of victims ; now Hercules, as the inferior, worships Domitian. "We address our more important prayers, some for wealth, others for hon- ours, to Domitian, who, unsolicitous about inferior requests, leaves the fulfilment of these to Hercules. Into august Alcides' form Augustus deigned to descend : Sublimer strengths than his to storm, And temples to the Latian lend. "Where, while the wand'rer's weary feet Explore fair Trivia's woodland scene, Marble the eighth he joys to meet, Sequester'd from the city-queen. With copious blood, and pious vows, Alcides whilom was address'd : But lo ! his greater he allows ; And bends, obsequious, with the rest. To one for wealth this suppliant sues, For honour that submiss applies ; While fearless, with inferior views. They plague the hero of the skies. Elphinston. LXV. TO HERCULES, ON" THE SAME STATUE. O Hercules, whom the Latian Jupiter must now recognise, since thou hast assumed the glorious features of the divine Caesar, if thou hadst borne those lineaments and that air when the wild beasts yielded to thy prowess, nations would not have beheld thee a slave to the Argive tyrant, and submitting to 2 Ad caenam invitant omnes te, Phoebe, cinasdi : Mentula quem pascit, non, puto, purus homo est. 428 MAETIAL'S ■ his cruel rule; but thou wouldst have issued orders to Eurys- theus, and the deceiver Lichas would not have brought tbee the perfidious gift of Nessus. Saved from the torment of the funeral pyre upon mount (Eta, thou would have ascended to the heaven of thy father above, free from all care, that heaven to which thy labours entitled thee. Nor wouldst thou have twirled the Lydian spindles of a proud mistress, or have looked upon Styx and the dog of Tartarus. Now Juno is . favourable to thee, now thy Hebe indeed loves thee ; now, if the nymph that carried off thy Hylas were to see thy majestic appearance, she would send him back to thee. Thee must the Latian Thund'rer gladly own, Where Caesar's godhke lineaments are known. Had then thy guise and aspect been the same, When thy hands render' d savage monsters tame, Mankind had ne'er with due disdain beheld The tyrant honour'd, and the hero quell'd ; Or in ArgoHc thraldom seen the brave ; But seen Eurystheus prove Alcides' slave. Nor had sly Lichas made thy blood to boil, With the dire present of the Centaur's spoil. Free from the tasks of pow'r, or goads of guile, Free from the torments of th' (Etean pile, Thou hadst securely climb'd thy sire's domain, Nor storm' d its summits by the strength of pain. From hands heroic none had dancing seen The Lydian spindles of the haughty queen. Ne'er hadst thou visited the shades below, Nor the Tartarean dog couldst ever know. Now Juno smiles ; fair Hebe now adores ; And Amphydacia Hylas' self restores. Elphinston. LXYI. TO PABULLTJS. When you have a wife, handsome, chaste, and young, Ea- bullus, why should you supplicate for the rights of a father of three children ? ^ That which you ask of our ruler and deity, you will obtain from yourself, if you deserve the name of a man. You've a wife, blest Eabullus, fair, modest, and young ; And the honour of tripartite progeny ask ! What you crave of our lord, with so touching a tongue. Is your own to bestow : 'tis a natural task. Elphinston, [ 1 See B. ii. Ep. 91, 92. BOOK IX.] EPIGEAMS. 429 LXVII. TO ^SCHTLUS. Lascivam tota possedi nocte puellam, Cujus nequitias vincere nemo potest. Fessus mille modis illud puerile poposci : Ante preces totas, primaque verba dedit. Improbius quiddam ridensque rubensque rogavi : Pollicita est nulla luxuriosa mora. Sed mihi pura fuit ; tibi non erit, ^scbyle : si vis, Aceipe et hoc munus conditione mala. Possedei per tutta la notte una lasciva ragazza, le di cui malizie nessuna puo sorpassare. Sazio in mille maniere, dimandai quel non so che alia fanciullesca : me lo accordo avanti d' esserne pregata, ed alle prime ricchieste. Fra '1 riso e la vergogna dimandai qualehe cosa d' assai nefando : me lo promise senza la menoma interessata dilazione. Ma fu da me lasciata pura ; non lo sara da te, o Eschilo : se vuoi questo dono, prendilo, ma a caro prezzo. Graglia, LXYITI. TO THE MASTER OE A FOIST SCHOOL IN HIS NEiaHEOUBHOOD. "What rigbt have you to disturb me, abominable school- master, object abhorred alike by boys and girls ? Before the crested cocks have broken silence, you begin to roar out your savage scoldings and blows. Not with louder noise does the metal resound on the struck anvil, when the workman is fitting a lawyer on his horse ; ^ nor is the noise so great in the large amphitheatre, when the conquering gladiator is ap- plauded by his partisans. "We, your neighbours, do not ask you to allow us to sleep for the whole night, for it is but a small matter to be occasionally awakened ; but to be kept awake all night is a heavy affliction. Dismiss your scholars, brawler, and take as much for keeping quiet as you receive for making a noise. Despiteful pedant, why dost me pursue, Thou hated head by all the younger crew ? Before the cock proclaims the day is near. Thy direful threats and lashes stun mine ear ; The anvil rings not out a shriller sound, When massy hammers the hot irons pound ; Statues of brass with lesser din are made, Than thou dost carry on the grammar trade ; Shouts in the race and theatre are less, When factions for their parties zeal express. * A sneer at the equestrian statues of lawyers. See Juv. vii. 128. 430 MAETIAL S Whole nights, I ask not, in repose to keep ; To wake 's not grievous, but 'tis, ne'er to sleep. Wilt leave thy school, thy bawhng lectures cease ? Thy gain shall greater be to hold thy peace. Anon. 1695. LXIX. TO POLTCHAEMTJS. Cum futuis, Polycharme, soles in fine cacare, Cum psedicaris, quid, Polycharme facis : Quando immembri, o PoHcarmo, suoli dopo sgravarti. Quando sei sodomizato, che fai, o PoHcarmo ? LXX. TO C^CILIA^fUS. "0 times! manners!" was of old the cry of Cicero, when Catiline was contriving his impious plot ; when father-in-law and son-in-law were engaging in fierce war, and the sad soil of Italy was soaked with civil bloodshed. But why do you, Cascilianus, now exclaim " times ! manners ? " WTiat is it that displeases you ? We have no cruel leaders, no mad- dening warfare, but may enjoy settled peace and happiness. It is not our morals, Caecilianus, that disgrace the age of which you complain, but yowr own. Oh ! the degenerate age ! great Tully cried, When Catiline design'd his parricide : "SYhen kindred chiefs join'd battle on the plain, Which mourn'd in tears of blood the subject slain. Oh ! the degenerate age ! you loudly chatter : What is the matter, Sir, what is the matter ? No civil discord now : no tyrant's power : Peaceful and blissful passes every hour. If you esteem the age so wicked grown. Blame not our morals for it, but your own. Sai/. " times ! manners ! " Tully cried of old. When Catiline in impious plots grew bold ; When in full arms the son and father stood. And the sad earth reek'd red with civil blood : Why now, why now, " O times ! O manners 1 " cry ? What is it now that shocks thy purity ? No sword now maddens, and no chiefs destroy, But all is peace, security, and joy. These times, these manners, that so vile are grown, Prythee, Caecihan, are they not thy own ? Elton. LXXI. Q-S A LIOI^ AlfD A EAM. It is astonishing with what attachment this lion, the glory of the Massylian mountains, and this husband of the fleecy I BOOK IX.] EPIGEAMS. 431 flock, are united. Behold with jour own eyes ; they dwell in one stall, and take their social meals in company. Nor do they delight to feed on the brood of forests, or the tender grass ; but a small lamb satisfies their joint appetites. "What were the merits of the terror of Nemea,^ or the betrayer of Helle,^ that they should shine among brilliant constellations in the high heaven ? If cattle and wild beasts are worthy of a place in the heavens, this ram and this lion deserve to become stars. LXXII. TO LTBEE, A PUGILIST. O Liber, whose brows are adorned with the Spartan crown, and whose Eoman hand strikes blows worthy of Grreece, when you send me a dinner, why does the wicker basket, in which it is conveyed, contain no wine-flask as an accompaniment ? If you mean to make presents worthy of your name,^ you are aware, I suppose, what you ought to have sent me. O thou, whose forehead boasts Amyclse's band, Who deal'st the Grecian blows with Latian hand ! My nooning why didst bid the wicker bear, Nor with the wattles bid the flask repair ? Worthy thy name hadst thou the boons bestow'd, My Liber knows what on his friend had flow'd. JElphinston. LXXIII. TO A COBBLEE, WHO HAD OBTAINED A LEGACY BT EEAUD. You, whose business it once was to stretch old skins with your teeth, and to bite old soles of shoes besmeared with •mud, now enjoy the lands of your deluded patron at Prseneste, where you are not worthy to occupy even a stall. Intox- icated with strong Falernian wine, too, you dash in pieces the crystal cups, and plunge yourself in debauchery with your patron's favourite. As for me, my foolish parents taught me letters. What did I want with grammarians and rhetorici- ans ? Break up, my muse, your flowing pen, and tear up your books, if a shoe can secure such enjoyments to a cobbler. ^ The Nemean lion slain by Hercules ; afterwards the constellation of Leo. 2 The ram with the golden fleece, that was to carry Helle across the Hellespont, and allowed her to drop into the water, afterwards the constel- lation Aries. ' Liber being a name of Bacchus. 432 maetial's Who with your teeth the stretching leather drew, To patch a hole in an old dirty shoe ; To you your cheated lord's possessions fall, In which you scarce deserve to have a stall. In amorous fits succeeding to his lasses ; And in your drunken frolics breaking glasses. My learning only proves my father fool : "Why would he send me to a grammar school ? Ah ! cease, my muse ! your works consign to fire ! If an old shoe may serve to raise us higher. LXXIV. ON THE POETEAIT Or CAMONIJS. This picture preserves the likeness of Camonus as a chil it is only his early features, when he was an infant, that re- main to us. The afi^ectionate father has kept no likeness of his countenance in the bloom of manhood, dreading to look on so fine a face deprived of animation. Here, as in happy infancy he smiled, Behold Camonus — painted as a child ; For on his face as seen in manhood's days, His sorromng father would not dare to gaze. W. S. B. LXXV. ON THE WOODEN BATH OE TTJCCA. Tucca has not constructed his bath of hard flint, or of quarry stone, or of baked bricks, with which Semiramis en- circled great Babylon, but of the spoils of the forest and masses of pine plauks, so that he may sail in his bath. The same magnificent personage has built splendid warm baths of every kind of marble ; that which Carystos produces ; that which Phrygian Synnas,^ and African Numidia, sends us ; and that which the Eurotas has washed with its verdant stream. Bat there is no wood in it ; put your wooden bath, therefore, Tucca, beneath your warm baths. No stubborn flint, by cement bound. Or that the queen could rear around Her haughty town, made Tucca's bath : But murder'd groves, and mortis'd pines. Exalted Tucca's grand designs ; That he might swim in cooling lath. A hot bath next he built, subhme, Of marble hewn in every clime, Carystos, Synnas, Nomas send : ^ A town of Phrygia. I BOOK IX.] EPIGEAMS. 433 Or that the green Eurotas laves. But wood was wanting to the Avaves : Then to the hot the cold-bath lend. Elphinston. LXXYI. ON" THE POETRAIT OF CAMOIfFS. The features you here see are those of my Cam onus ; such, was his face and figure in early youth. That counten- ance had grown more manly in the course of twenty years; a beard seemed delighted to shade his cheeks ; and, once clip- ped, had scattered its ruddy hair from the points of the scis- sors. One of the three sisters looked with malice on such beauty, and cut the thread of his life before it was fully spun. An urn conveyed his ashes to his father from a far distant pyre ; but that the picture may not alone speak of the youth, there shall be a more impressive description in my page. This which you see is my Camonus' face ; Such his young looks, such his first beauty was. His countenance grew stronger tAvice ten years, Till a beard cream'd his cheeks with dowTiy hairs. The off'er'd purple once his shoulders spread. But one of the three sisters wish'd him dead, And thence his hasten' d thread of life did cut, Which to his father, in a sad urn put, Came from his absent pile : but lest alone This picture should present his beauty gone, His image yet more sweetly drawn shall be In never-dying papers writ by me. Fletcher. LXXYII. Olf THE FEAST OF PRISCUS. The eloquent page of Prisons considers " what is the best kind of feast?" and offers many suggestions with grace, many with force, and all with learning. Do you ask me, what is the best kind of feast ? That at which no flute-player is present.^ Priscus with art in many leaves disputes, I ^Li What requisites a sumptuous feast best suits ; ^KL. Many sublime and witty things he brings, ^^B All from a learn'd and noble art which springs. ^^B What makes a feast, shall I in one line say ? y^m Absence of scurrilous jests and fiddlers' play. ■ Anon. 1695. ^ One that does not require the attractions of music, but is sufficiently recommended by the dishes and the conversation. 2 F 434 maetial's lxxyiii. to piceiftintjs. After the deaths of seven husbands, G-alla has espoused you, Picentinus. G-alla, I suppose, wishes to follow her husbands. Your spouse, who husbands dear hath buried seven. Stands a bad chance to make the number even. Say. Lxxix. TO domitia:n'. Before thy reign, Eome hated the crowd attendant on the emperors, and the haughtiness of the court ; but now, such is our love, Augustus, for all that belongs to thee, that every one makes the care of his own family of but secondary consider- ation ; so sweet are the tempers of thy courtiers, so consi- derate are they towards us, so much of quiet good-feeling do they display, and so much modesty is there in their bearing. Indeed, no servant of C^sar (such is the influence of a power- ful court) wears his own character — but that of his master. Caesar, our former princes' courtly state, And throngs of haughty servants, Rome did hate ; But of your house all now so tender are. That each man's own is but his second care : Such gentle mindes, such reverence of you, Such quietness, such modesty, all shew, As proves (which is the nature of great courts) Each to his prince's guise his ovtd. comports. Old 31 S. IGth Cent. LXXX. O^ GELLITJS. The poor and hungry Grellius married a woman old and rich. He eats and enjoys himself. An old rich wife starv'd Gellius, bare and poor, Did wed : so she cramm'd him and he cramm'd her. Fletcher. Lxxxi. to atjltjs. My readers and hearers, Aulus, approve of my composi- tions ; but a certain critic says that they are not faultless. I am not much concerned at his censure ; for I should wish the dishes on my table to please guests rather than cooks. The readers and the hearers like my books, And yet, some writers cannot them digest ; But what care I ? for when I make a feast, I would my guests should praise it, not the cooks. IIa)rington, I BOOK IX.] EPIGEAMS. 435 My works the reader and the hearer praise. They're not exact, a brother poet says : I heed not him ; for when I give a feast, Am I to please the cook, or please the guest ? Hay. LXXXII. TO MrNNA. An astrologer declared, Munna, that you would soon come to an end ; and I believe he spoke the truth. For, through fear of leaving anything behind you, you have squandered your inheritance in luxuries ; your two millions have dwindled away in less than a year. Tell me, Munna, is not this com- ing soon to an end ? True spoke the conjurer, when he foretold Your end, before that twice six moons had roU'd. You took the hint ; spent your estate with care, For fear of being bubbled by your heir. Twice ten years' income spent at once ; 'tis clear, Live e'er so long, you cannot live this year. Haij. LXXXIII. TO DOMITIAIf, O^ HIS EXCLTJSIO:S" OP THE KNIGHTS TEOM THE STAGE. Among the numberless wonders of your arena, Cassar, which surpasses the splendid shows of the old emperors, our eyes confess that they owe you much, but our ears more ; inasmuch as those who used to recite upon the stage are now only- spectators. Among the many wonders of the stage. With which thou hast adorn' d the present age 'Bove former princes, Caesar, as we owe Much for the cost and gallantry of show, Nothing does yet advance thy glory more, Than that the nobles now, however poor. Spectators sit, that players were before. Anon. 1695. 1^ LXXXIV. TO ISrOEBANUS. "When your aifectionate fidelity, Norbanus, was standing in efence of Csesar against the raging of sacrilegious fury, I, 30 well-known cultivator of your friendship, was amusing lyself with the composition of these verses, in the calm security f Pierian retreats. The Ehaetian spoke of me to you on the orders of Vindelicia, nor was the Northern Bear ignorant of my name. Oh how often, not renouncing your old friend, I did you exclaim, " It is my poet, mj own ! " All my compo- l :^ F 2 436 maetial's sitions, which for six whole years your reader has recited to you, their author will now present to you in a body. While thee, to quell the sacrilegious rage, Fair loyalty would for thy lord engage ; Safe wanton' d in the sweet Pierian shade, "WTio Norban's friendship held his primal aid. My death to VindeHcian shores had flown ; Nor was my name to northern chmes unknown. Thine ancient friend thou never didst deny : My bard ! my bard ! became the tender cry. My code complete in parts the reader lent : The six-years' produce has the author sent. EljjhinstoTU LXXXY. TO ATILITJS, ON PArLTJS rEIGNHTG SICXNESS. If our friend Paulus is ever out of health, Atilius, it is noti himself, but his guests, that he deprives of a dinner. Tou suffer, Paulus, with a sudden and fictitious ailment ; but my sportula has given up the ghost. Our Paul, whene'er his languor reigns, StiU, in his friends, himself will treat : A head-ache when Atilius feigns, My sportula extends her feet. Elphi7ist07i. LXXXYI. TO SILITJS ITALIGUS, ON THE DEATH OF HIS SON SEVERTJS. While Silius, whose powers have been displayed in more than one department of E-oman literature,^ was lamenting the premature death of his friend Severus, I expressed my sym- pathy with him to the Pierian choir and to Phoebus: "I too," said Apollo, " wept for my Linus ; " and, looking round at Calliope, who stood next to her brother, he added : " You also have your own sorrow.^ Behold the Tarpeian and the i Palatine Thunderer ; Lachesis has audaciously presumed to I wound both Jupiters.^" When you see the divinities exposed - to the harsh rule of destiny, you may acquit the gods of in- justice. Thee, Silius, not one way renown'd, ', Thy rapt Severe in sorrow drown'd ; Each muse, nay Phoebus, moum'd with me : I wept my Linus too, said he. ' Silius Italicus, orator and poet. See also B, vii. Ep. 62. ^ In the loss of her son Orpheus. ' By causing the deaths of Sarpedon, and of Domitian's infant son. See B. vi. Ep. 3. BOOK IX.] EPIGEAMS. 437 Calliope then caught his eye : " Sweet sister, thou hast had thy sigh. Palatine and Tarpeian Jove ; 'Gainst both bold Lachesis has strove." If fate -with us can be at odds, No more let envy load the gods. Elphinston. LXXXTII. TO LTJPEECUS. After I have taken seven cups of Opimian wine, and am stretched at full length, and beginning to stammer from the effects of my heavy potations, you bring me some sort of papers, and say, "I have just made Nasta free — he is a slave that I inherited from my father ; — please to give me your signature." The business may be better done to-mor- row, Lupercus ; at present my signet is wanted for the bottle.^ AYhen I am half seas o'er, and cannot read, My lawyer brings me a long parchment deed : Tells me I promised, when the term began. To seal a leaf to Tim; my father's man. It will be better by to-morrow's light : I'll touch no wax, but that on corks, to-night. Hay- LXXXTIII. TO EUrUS. While you were trying to catch me, Eufus, you used to send me presents ; since you have caught me, you have given me nothing. To keep me when caught, send presents to me now as you did before, lest the boar, being badly fed, escape from his cage. "WTiile thou didst seek my love, thou sent'st me some Presents, but now thou hast it, no gifts come. That thou may'st hold me, Rufus, still be free, Lest th' ni-fed boar break from his frank and flee. Fletcher. iLXXXIX. TO STELLA. By too severe a decree, Stella, you compel your guest to rite verses at table. Under such a decree I may certainly rite verses, but bad ones. Thy guest must verses give ; a piteous task ! But thou art good, and dost not good ones ask. ^ The Romans put seals on their wine-vessels, as a security against their slaves. 438 itaetial's xc. to flaccus, eesidin& in ctpetjs. So, reclining upon the flowery meads, where rolling pebbles sparkle in the brook, its winding banks glowing on every side, may you break the ice into the goblet of dark wine, far removed from all cares, and your brow wreathed with chaplets of roses ; so may you enjoy alone the caresses of a favourite, and the pleasures of a chaste love, as you keep on your guard, I warn and pray you, Placcus, against the climate of Cyprus, too well known for its excessive heat, when the threshing-floor receives the crackling harvest, and the mane of the tawny lion glows in its fierceness. And do thou, goddess of Paphos, send back the youth, send him back unharmed, to my prayers. So may the kalends of March be ever consecrated to thee, and may many a slice of cake, with incense, and wine, and offerings, be laid upon thy fair altars. So stretched on the flowery grass, Where o'er the moved pebbles pass Pure streames, with waves curHng about, Farr thence all troubled thoughts cast out : With coole ice may your cupps abound, Your browes with rosy garlands crown'd ; So may your mistress, and your boy, To you be kind, to others coy, As you of your own health take care, In Cyprus's too sultry ayre, When the ripe corne is layd i' th' floore, And Leo's scorching rage boyles o'er. So, Venus, may much wine and spice. On altars pure in sacrifice. On Mars's calends offer'd bee, With many a piece of cake, to thee ! Old MS. im Cent. XCI. TO DOMITIAK. If two messengers were to invite me to dine in different heavens, the one in that of Caesar, the other in that of Ju- piter, I should, even if the stars were nearer, and the palace at the greater distance, return this answer: "Seek some other who would prefer to be the guest of the Thunderer ; my own Jupiter detains me upon earth." If that a diverse invitation came At once in Jove's and in great Csesar's name, i BOOE: IX.] EPIGEAMS. 439 Though that the stars were near, Rome more remote, The gods in answer should have this my vote, " Go, seek another that Jove's guest would be, My Jupiter on earth hath fetter'd me." Fletcher. XCII. TO CONDTLUS. Of the troubles of a master, and the pleasures of a slave, Condylus, you are ignorant, when you lament that you have been a slave so long. A common rug gives you sleep free from all anxiety; Caius lies awake all night on his bed of down. Caius, from the first dawn of day, salutes with trembling a number of patrons ; you, Condylus, salute not even your master. " Caius, pay what you owe me," cries Phoebus on the one side, and Cinnamus on the other ; no one makes such a demand on you, Condylus. Do you fear the torturer ? Caius is a martyr to the gout in his hands and feet, and would rather suffer a thousand floggings than endure its pains. You indulge neither gluttonous nor licentious propensities. Is not this preferable to being three times a Caius ? More ease than masters' servants' lives afford : Think on that, Tom ; nor wish to be your lord. On a coarse rug you most securely snore : Deep sunk in down he counts each sleepless hour : Anxious betimes to every statesman low He bows ; much lower than to him you bow. Behold him with a dun at either ear, " Pay, pay," the word ; a word you never hear. Fear you a cudgel ? view his gouty state ; Which he would change for many a broken pate. You know no morning qualm, no costly whore : Think then, though not a lord, that you are more. Hay. XCTII. TO CALOCISSUS, HIS SLATE. Why, my slave, do you delay to pour in the immortal Palernian ? Pill double measures from the oldest cask. Now tell me, Calocissus, to which of all the gods shall I bid you fill six cups ? It shall be Csesar. Let ten wreaths of roses be fitted to my locks, to honour the name ^ of him who raised the noble monument to his sacred family .^ Next give me twice five kisses, the number which denotes the name^ our divinity acquired from the Sarmatian countries. 1 Domitianus, a word of ten letters. 2 The Flavian temple. See Ep. 24 and 34, ^ Germanicus. 440 maetial's Cro-wn the deathless Falemian, my boy ; Draw the quincunx from out the old cask. Of the gods who shall heighten the joy ? 'Tis for Caesar five bumpers I ask. Let the garland ten times bind the hair, To the hero that planted the fane : Twice five goblets replete will declare The kind god from th' Odrysian domain. Elphinston. XCIV. O^ HIPPOCRATES. Hippocrates has given me a cup medicated with worm- wood, and now has the presumption to ask of me honied wine in return. I do not suppose that even Glaucus was so stupid, who gave his golden armour to Diomede for armour of brass. Can any one expect a sweet gift in return for a bitter one ? Let him have it, but on condition that he drink it in hellebore.^ What blest assurance ! when my doctor thought To get my claret, for his wormwood draught. Glaucus of old was not a greater ass. Who gave his golden arms for arms of brass. But I will send it ; if he will agree To ^rink it from the bottle sent to me. Hay. XCy. 01^ ATHEIfAQOEAS. Athenagoras was once Alphius ; now, since he has taken a wife, he has begun to call himself Olphius. Do you believe, Callistratus, that his real name is Athenagoras ? May I die if I know who Athenagoras is ! ^ But suppose, Callistratus, I call him by his real name ; if I call him otherwise, it is not I who am in fault, but your friend Athenagoras himself. Bob's name was Booby, now 'tis Bou — ou — bee: His wife would not plain Booby be, not she. If we doubt which is right, and which is wrong, I shall not know if Bob is Bob, ere long. I think that Booby is his real name : If I mistake, is Bob or I to blame ? Hay. XCTI. ON" HEEODES. The doctor Herodes had filched a cup belonging to his pa- tients. Being detected, he exclaimed, "Eool! what need have you of drink ?" ^ The presumed speciftc tor maanessi. ' That is, what is his true name. I BOOK IX.] EPIGEAMS. 441 The doctor from his patient steals his cupp. But, caught i' th' fact, says, " Drinke ! no. not a supp ! Old 3IS. Uth Century, A quack, who stole his patient's cup, did cry, Caught in the fact, " What ! would you drink, and die ? " Hay. XOYII. TO JULmS. A certain person, my dearest Julius, is bursting with envy because Eome reads me ; he is bursting, I say, with envy. He is bursting with envy, too, bursting with envy, be- cause in every assembly I am pointed out by the finger of admiration. He is bursting with envy, bursting with envy, because both CsDsars ^ accorded me the rights of a father of three children. He is bursting with envy, bursting with envy, because I have an agreeable suburban villa and a small house in town. He is bursting with envy, bursting with envy, because I am dear to my friends, and because I am their fre- quent guest. He is bursting with envy, because I am loved and praised. "Whoever is bursting with envy, let him burst. Bursting with envy is a wretch unknown. Because ray works have taken with the town. With envy bursting, that the admiring throng Point to their poet as they pass along. With envy bursting, that by royal grace, Under my sovereign I enjoy a place. With envy bursting, at my house in town. And at my little box on Bansted Down. Bursting with envy, that I am caress'd By all my friends, to all a welcome guest. From love, and from esteem, if envy springs, May he e'en fret his guts to fiddle-strings ! Hay. XCYIII. TO QTJIT^TUS OVIDIIJS. The produce of the vineyards has not failed everywhere, 0\ddius. The heavy rains have been productive. Coranua made up a hundred jars by means of the water. Pray, don't imagine, without reason, The vintage is all lost this season : The heavy rains, which fell, produce A hundred pipes for DashweU's use. Hay. I Titus and Domitian. 442 Martial's xcix. to atticus, on" maectis antonitjs, to whom he sends his book. Marcus Antonius loves my muse, Atticus, if his compli- mentary letter but speaks the truth, — Marcus, who is the undeniable glory of Palladian Toulouse, and whom repose, the child of peace, has nurtured. You, my book, who can bear the toil of a long journey, go to him, as a pledge of love from his absent friend. You would be worthless, I admit, if a dealer were to send you : but your coming from the author will give value to the present. It makes a great dif- ference, believe me, whether a draught be taken from the fountain-head, or from the stagnant waters of a sluggish pool. My book, a better traveller, 1 send, To show my honour for an absent friend. The value from a bookseller were small ; The author's present is the all in all. Much better tastes the water, which you take From a spring-head, than from a standing lake. Hay. C. TO BASSirs. You invite me to a supper, Bassus, worth three denarii,^ and expect me to dance attendance in your antechamber in the morning clad in my toga ; and afterwards to keep close to your side, or walk before your chair, while I attend you in your visits to ten or a dozen widows. My toga is threadbare, shabby, and even ragged ; yet I could not buy one as good, Bassus, for three denarii. For drachmas three thou ofFer'd'st to expend, Thou requir'st gown'd I early thee attend, Make up thy train, and trot before thy chair, "When thou old ladies court' st to be their heir. My gown is threadbare, mean, I not deny, Yet such I cannot for three drachmas buy. Anon. 1695. CI. FLATTERY OE DOMITIAN. O Appian way, which Cassar consecrates under the form of Hercules,^ and renders the most celebrated of Italian roads, if thou desirest to learn the deeds of the ancient Hercules, listen to me. He subdued the Libyan giant ; he carried off the ^ The price of the sportiila, 2 See Ep. 65. Domitian erected on the Appian "Way a temple to Her- cules, in which he himself was to be worshipped. BOOK IX.] EPIGRAMS. 443 golden apples ; lie disarmed the Amazonian queen of her shield, though secured by a Scythian girdle ; by feat of arms he added the lion's skin to that of the Arcadian boar ; he delivered the forest from the brazen-footed stag and the lakes of Arcadia from the Stymphalian birds ; he brought from the waters of Styx the infernal dog Cerberus ; he prevented the fruitful Hydra from renewing its heads after they had been cut off; he plunged the horned bulls of Hesperia in the Tus- can Tiber. Such were the achievements of the ancient and lesser Hercules. Listen now to the deeds of the greater Hercules, whom the sixth milestone from the citadel of Alba celebrates. He freed the palace from the thraldom of a bad rule. His first wars, as a boy, were waged in defence of his patron Jupiter.^ When already in sole possession of the Caesarean reins of government, he resigned them to his father, contenting himself to become the third citizen in his own world.2 Thrice he broke the perfidious horns of the Sarmatian Danube ; thrice he cooled his sweating steed in the G-etic snows. Poi bearing to accept the honours of a triumph, and often re- fusing them, he acquired a title, as a conqueror, from the Northern climes. He gave temples to the gods, morals to his people, rest to the sword, heaven to his family,-"* constel- lations to the skies, garlands to Jupiter. The divinity of a Hercules is not sufficient for acts so great ; our deity should be represented under the form of Tarpeian Jupiter. Appian ! who thine awful shall display ? Thou peerless glory of th' Ausonian way ! To Caesar sacred, in Herculean guise, Thy feet on earth, thy fame is in the skies. VVould'st thou admire the first Alcides' deeds, And then compare Alcides who succeeds ? One tamed the Libyan, and the dragon tore : The victor-god the golden apples bore. How hard was buckler'd Menahppe's lot ! He bid the fair unloose the Scythian knot. What need I sing the lion whom he slew ; Or scared Arcadia's boar he overthrew ? From woods he drove the brazen-footed hind, The birds Stymphalian from the waves and wind. ^ In the Vitellian war he took refuge in the Capitol, and defended it. Suetonius, Domit. c. 1. 2 Being inferior to Vespasian and Titns. 3 Enrolling his father, brother, and wife, among the gods. 4.44 maetial's Safe he return'd, from out the Stygian bog ; Unquitted, but unworried by the dog. The Hydra he forbade to spring by blood, And cows Hesperian lav'd in Tuscan flood. Such were the toils of Hercules the less ; The glory of his greater now confess : Whose majesty is worshipp'd, and whose pow'r, By the sixth marble from the Alban tow'r. 'Twas his, fell usurpation to destroy ; And for his Jove he warfar'd, yet a boy. When now he held the Julian reins alone, He sat but third upon the human throne. The treach'rous horns of Ister thrice he broke, In Getic snow thrice quench'd his charger's smoke. To conquer ardent, and to triumph shy, Fair vict'ry nam'd him from the polar sky. Fanes to the gods, to men he manners gave ; Rest to the sword, and respite to the brave ; Stars to his own, constellants to th' alcove, And wreaths refreshing to immortal Jove. So high could ne'er Herculean pow'r aspire : The god should lend his looks to the Tarpeian fire. Elphinston. CII. TO PHCEBUS. You give me back, Phoebus, my bond for four hundred thousand sesterces ; lend me rather a hundred thousand more. Seek some one else to whom you may vaunt your empty present : what I cannot pay you, Phoebus, is my own. My bond for four hundred you proudly present; One hundred, kind Phcebus, I'd rather you lent. In the eyes of another such bounty may shine ; Whate'er I can't pay you, dear Phcebus, is mine. Westminster Review, April, 1853. CIII. OlS HIERTJS AND ASILLUS, TWIN-BEOTHEES. "What new Leda has produced you these attendants so like each other? What fair Spartan has been captivated by another swan ? Pollux has given his face to Hierus, Castor his to Asil- lus ; and in the countenance of each gleams the beauty of their Tyndarean sister (Helen). Had these beautiful figures been in Therapnaean Amyclae, when the inferior present prevailed over those of the two other goddesses,^ Helen would have ' When V'enus promised Helen to Paris, while Juno offered him empire, and Minerva wisdom. BOOK X.] EPiaEAMS. 446 remained at Sparta, and Trojan Paris have returned to Phry- gian Ida with two G-anymedes. Whence so much likeness, so much sweetness, grew ? To bear these twins did Leda brood a-new ? If this is Pollux, that is Castor's face : In both alike there shines the sister's grace. "When rivals yielded to the Cyprian queen ; At Sparta's court had so much beauty been, The Phrygian Paris had reversed his deed ; And, leaving Helen, stole each Ganymede. Hay, BOOK X. I. THE BOOK TO THE EEADEE. If I aeem to be a book of undue size, with my end too much delayed, read only a small portion of me ; I shall then be to you but a little book. Each of my pages is occupied by but three or four short pieces ; make me as short as you please for yourself. If of my length you 're tempted to complain, A slight expedient puts you out of pain : A page, a poem, fourteen verses make ; Stop where you please, a whole in each you take. If of my price, the age to verse how cold ! A thousand poems at that price are sold. Capel Lofft. II. TO THE EEADEE, ON PUBLTSHIKG A SECOND EDITION OE THIS BOOK. The labour, which I bestowed upon this tenth book, being too hurried, made it necessary that the work, which had slipped from my hands, should be revised. You will read here some pieces which you have had before, but they are now repolished by the file ; the new part will be the larger ; but be favourable, reader, to both; for you are my true support ; since, when Bome gave you to me, she said, " I have nothing greater to give you. By his means you will escape the sluggish waves of ungrateful Lethe, and will survive in 1 44i6 maktial's tlie better part of yourself. The marble tomb of Messala is split by tbe wild fig, and tbe audacious muleteer laughs at the mutilated horses of the statue of Crispus.^ But as for writings, they are indestructible either by thieves or the rav- ages of time ; such monuments alone are proof against death." This my tenth booke, set out before too soone, Backe to my hands comes to be better done. Some old, but new corrected, thou wilt finde ; The most are new ; reader, to both be kinde. Reader, my wealth ; whom when to me Rome gave, Nought greater to bestow (quoth she) I have : By him ingratefuU Lethe thou shalt flye, And in thy better part shalt never dye. Wilde Fig-trees rend Messalla's marbles off; Crispus halfe-horses the bold carters scoffe. Writings no age can wrong, no theeving hand ; Deathlesse alone those Monuments will stand. Mai/ The verses in this book too soon took air : My want of care at first renew'd my care. Some, that are old, you here retouch'd will find : The greater part are new : to both be kind. When Fate to me a constant reader gave ; "Receive," she saifl, "the greatest boon I have. By this beyond oblivion's stream arrive ! And in your better part by this survive. Statues may moulder; and the clown unbred Scoff at young Ammon's horse without his head. But finish'd writings theft and time defy. The only monuments which cannot die." ITat/. III. TO PRISCUS. A certain anonymous poet is circulating the jargon of slaves, foul satires, and filthy turpitudes, such as are uttered only by low vagabonds ; vulgarisms such as even a dealer in brok- en Vatinian glass would not purchase at the price of a sul- phur match ; and these he attempts to pass ofi" as mine. Do you believe, Prisons, that the parrot can speak with the note of the quail, and that Canus ^ w^ould wish to be a bag- piper ? Far from my little books be such foul fame ; books which the fairest reputation bears aloft on unsullied wing. Why should I labour to attain a disgraceful notoriety, when I can remain silent without loss ? 1 Mentioned B. iv. Ep, 54. 2 B. ix. Ep. 5. / BOOK X.] EPIGRAMS. 447 The porter's joke, the chairman's low conceit, The dirty style of angry Billingsgate, Such as a strolling tinker would not use, Nor hawker of old clothes, or dreadful news, A certain poet privately disperses, And fain would fob them off for Martial's verses. Will then the parrot steal the raven's note ? At country wakes Italians strain their throat ? Far from my writings be th' envenom'd lie : My name on purer wings shall mount the sky. Rather than strive an evil fame to own. Cannot I hold my tongue, and die unknown ? Hay. IV. TO MAMTJEEA. You who read of (Edipus, of Thyestes deserted by the sun, of the Colchian princess (Medea), and of the Scyllas, of what do you read but fabulous wonders ? Of what advantage to you is the story of the rape of Hylas, or of Parthenopaeus, or of Atys, or of the sleeper Endymion ? Or of the youth Icarus despoiled of his falling wings ? or of Hermaphroditus, who shuns the amorous waters ? What do the empty tales of such frivolous writings profit you ? Eead in this book of mine of real life, of which you may say, " It is mine." Tou will not find here Centaurs, or Grorgons, or Harpies ; my pages savour of man. But if you have no wish, Mamurra, to study the manners of the times, or to know yourself, you may read the myths of Callimachus.^ What are but monsters, in the Theban bed, Thyestes, Scyllaes, or Medea's read ? What profits thee sleeping Endymion ? Parthenopaeus, Atis, Hylas gone ? Icarus drown'd ? Hermaphroditus' fate, Who now doth love's transforming waters hate ? Why such vaine trash spendst thou thy time upon ? Reade that, which truly thou mayst call thine own. There are no Centaures, Gorgons, Harpyes here ; My page speakes only man. But thou dost feare Thy selfe, Mamurra, and thy crimes to know. Then read Callimachus his Causes, thou. Mai/. Who reads of (Edipus or Scylla now. As well may read of Warwick's monstrous cow. Leave all the stories of a cock and bull, Which you in Ovid find, to boys at school. * The AVrta, a work of Callimachus the poet, no longer extant. I 448 MAETIAL'S From idle tales what pleasure will remain ? Read but to live ; all reading else is vain. Never on monsters my invention ran : My every page an essay is on man. If you dislike yourself at all to know ; Proceed in your romance, transported beau. Hay, No Centaurs here, nor Gorgons look to find, My subject is of man, and humankind. Buston. V. ON A SLAKDEEOTJS POET. Whoever, despising the matron and the noble, whom he ought to respect, has injured them vdth impious verse ; may he wander through town after town, an outcast on bridge and hill, and lowest among craving mendicants, may he entreat for mouthfuls of the spoilt bread reserved for the dogs. May December be dreary to him, and the dripping winter and close cell prolong the cheerless cold. May he call those blessed, and pronounce them happy, who are borne past him upon the funeral bier. And when the thread of his last hour is spun, and the day of death, which has seem- ed too slow, has arrived, may he hear around him the howling of dogs for his body, and have to drive off the birds of prey by shaking his rags. Nor m'ay the punishment of the abject wretch end with his death ; but, sometimes lashed with the thongs of the severe ^acus, sometimes burthened with the mountain- stone of unresting Sisyphus, sometimes thirsting amid the waters of the babbling old Tantalus, may he exhaust all the fabled torments of the poets ; and when the Furies shall have compelled him to confess the truth, may he exclaim, betrayed by his conscience, " I wrote those verses." Whoso by impious verse in all the town Scandals the senator's or matron's gown, Which rather ought be worshipp'd, let him be Banish'd through all the seats of beggary ; And let him from the dogs bespeak then- meat ; Be his December long, his winter wet ; Let his shut vault prolong the frost most sad ; And let him cry such happy that are dead, On hellish-bedsteds carried to their grave ; And when his last threads their fulfilling have, And the slow day shall come, oh, let him see Himself the strife of dogs, and his limbs be BOOK X.] EPIGRAMS. 449 The prey of rav'nous birds, nor let his pains End in the simple crack of his heart's veins, But feeling the strict doom of ^acus, One while let him relieve old Sisj'phus, Then scorch in Tantalus his dry desire. And all the fables of the poets tire ; And when the truth the Furies shall demand, May his false conscience cry, This was the hand. Fletcher. VI. ON THE AERIVAL OF TEAJAN. Happy are they whom Eortune has permitted to behold this leader beaming with the rays of northern suns and constellations! When will that day come, on which the fields, and the trees, and every window shall shine resplend- ent, adorned by the ladies of Eome ? When shall be witness- ed the delightful halts on the road, the distant clouds of dust telling of Caesar's approach, and the spectacle of all Borne assembled in the Elaminian Way ? When will ye, Knights, and ye Moors clad in rich Egyptian tunics, go forth to meet him ? And when will the unanimous voice of the people ex- claim, " He comes " ? Happy, whose lot allow'd to ken afar, The gleaming warrior of the polar star ! Haste, festal day, when ev'ry field and tree Shall laugh with verdure, and shall sing with glee ; When every window shall efiulge new flame, Fed by the lustre of the Latian dame ; When fond suspense anticipates parade. And the long cloud ensures the cavalcade : When hailing Rome herself shall full display The wondrous object on Flaminius' Way. Ye prancing Moors, in pictured vest of Nile, When will ye shed on all the sudden smile ? When shall we hear the voice that sweetly sums The wish of nations in one word, — He comes ? Elphinston. TIT. TO THE EHINE. Bhine, father of the nymphs and streams that drink the northern snows, so may thy waters ever flow uncongealed, and no barbarous wheel of insolent rustic traverse or his foot trample thy ice-bound surface ; so mayest thou pursue thy way, receiving thy golden tributaries, and owning the sway of Eome on either bank, as thou shalt send back Trajan to 2 G 450 maetial's his people and to his city. This does our Tiber, thy master^ implore of thee. Sire of nymphs, of streams the source, Swilling northern snows ; Still may'st thou enjoy thy course. In serene repose. So may never barb'rous car Of insulting swain, Thy pellucid channel mar ; Or thine ear his strain : So may'st find thy horns, and roam Roman on each strand ; Send but safe our Trajan home: Tiber gives command. Elphinston. Till. ON PAULA. Paula wishes to be married to me ; I am unwilling to marryi Paula, because she is an old woman ; but I should have no objection, if she were still older. Paula thou needs would'st marry me When thou art old and tough : I cannot : yet I'd venture thee Wert thou but old enough. Fletcher. Me would the widow wed : she's old, say I : But if she older were, I would comply. Hay. To the Hon. Charles Fox, on a proposal made to him to marry a rich old maid. Lady Bab, though turn'd fifty, was hot I should wed her, But I, being not very willing to marry, Told a friend she was old, so could ne'er think to bed her, And therefore desir'd some time longer to tarry. At this, being nettled, she flew in a rage. And pouted, as she was ne'er courted before : Pooh ! said I, I mistook, she is quite under age. Oh would she were now but a hundred or more. Fev. Mr Scott. IX. ON" HIMSELF. I am that Martial known to all nations and people by my verses of eleven feet,^ my hendecasyllables, and my jokes, ^ He calls his hendecasyllable verses eleven feet, as if each syllable were a foot. I BOOK X.] EPiaEAMS. 451 which however are without malice. Why do you envy me ? I am not better known than the horse Andrsemon. Why dost thou envy Martial's being known For his smart verse, abusive yet to none ? That Rome, the provinces, extol his name ? Celer, the race-horse, has a louder fame. Anon. 1695. X. TO PAULUS, OKE OF THE COjS'STJLS. While you, who open the year with laurel-wreathed fasces, wear away a thousand door-steps with your morning calls, what remains for me to do ? What do you leave to me, Pan- lus, who am sprung from Numa's people, and am simply one of the plebeian crowd? Shall I salute as lord and king every one who honours me with a look ? This you do yourself, and oh ! with what superior grace ! Shall I follow somebody's litter, or chair ? You are not above this office yourself, and you even struggle for the distinction of walking foremost through the midst of the mud. Shall I frequently rise to applaud a poet who recites his verses ? You remain standing all the time, witli both hands stretched out towards the author. What is a poor man to do, when he cannot even be a client ? Your purple has supplanted our plain togas. When thou of consular rank think'st it no scorn A hundred to salute by early morn ; What office, Paulus, leav'st thou unto me. And to Rome's num'rous throng of low degree ? Who stoops himself, shall I call lord and king ? Crouch to one acts the fawning underling ? Shall I attend his chair, who does not shun Others to bear, through 'thick and thin to run ? To praise men's verse, what boots it oft to rise, When thou, to show applause, dost not despise Always to stand, with hands stretch'd to the skies ? What shall mean men do, clients when no more ? If those are great, share duties with the poor ? Anon. 1695. XI. TO CALLIOnOETJS. You speak of nothing but Theseus and Pirithous, and you imagine yourself equal to Pylades. May I perish if you are worthy to hand a chamber -vessel to Pylades, or to feed Pirithous's pigs. " Yet I have given my friend," say you, "five thousand sesterces, and a toga (0 bounty!), not 2g2 452 more than three or four times scoured." Munificent gift! Pylades never gave anything to Orestes : a man who gives to his friend, however much, withholds still more. Pirithous his name you oft repeat ; And equal Pylades in your conceit. Not fit to fill to Pylades his wine ; Not fit to feed Pirithous his swine. Once, as you boast, you gave your friend a note For fifty shiUings ; twice an old scour'd coat. True : you than Pylades more presents make : He never gave, he let Orestes take. Hay. XII. TO DOMITIUS. ^1 nd 01« You who are going to visit the people of JEmilia, and Yercellse dear to Apollo, and the fields of the Po, renowned for the death of Phaeton, may I perish, Domitius, if I do not cheerfully allow you to depart, although without your so- ciety no day is tolerable to me. But what I greatly desire is this ; that, if for only one summer, you would relieve your neck of the yoke imposed upon it by a residence in town. Gro, I pray you, and inhale the fervid rays of the sun at every pore. How handsome you will become during your journey ! And when you return, you will be past recognition by your pale faced friends, and the pallid crowd will envy the colour of your cheeks. But Eome will soon take away the colour which your journey gives you, even though you should return as black as an Ethiop. To range th' -«Emilian, and the tribes survey, Where once Apollo made a fav'rite stay ; To stroll the lawns, where Padus rolls along. And soothe thy toils with Phaethontian song ; I give thee leave, my friend ; or let me die : Though without thee each day but spins the sigh. Yet on these terms alone we brook thy tour (For nature cannot pain prolong'd endure), That on thy friends one season thou bestow, And shun in city-shade fell Sirius' glow. Drink then at ev'ry pore the burning air : Be but a foreigner, thou still art fair. True, when thou com'st our eyes thou wilt amaze : Thy friends will scarce acknowledge, as they gaze. Thou too shalt wonder, at their paly hue : To thy now brown their tincture will be blue. BOOK X.] EPIGRAMS. 453 But Rome thy ravish'd tint will soon restore, Though from the Nile thou should'st return a Moor. Elphinston. XIII. TO TI7CCA. While a chariot carries your effeminate minions sitting at their ease, and African out-riders toil in your service along the dusty road ; while your sumptuous couches surround your baths which rival those of Baise, the waters whitened with perfumes; while measures of Setine wine sparkle in your brilliant glasses, and Venus sleeps not on a softer couch ; you pass your nights upon the threshold of a proud harlot, and her deaf gate is wet, alas ! with your tears ; nor do sighs cease to rend your sad breast. Shall I tell you, Tucca, why matters go so ill with you ? It is because they go too well. Although your berlin always moves in state ; And a long train on horseback with it sweat ; Although your house, in many an airy room. Receives a flowery garden's rich perfume ; Although your glass sparkle with burgundy ; No dutchess on a softer bed can lie ; You for a paltry actress sigh in vain, Stung to the heart whole nights by her disdain. Little you guess, sweet Sir, what 'tis doth teaze ye ; An easy fortune makes you thus uneasy. Hay. XIY. TO CEISPXJS. Tou say, Crispus, that you yield to no one of my friends in affection for me ; but what, I pray, do you do to prove the truth of this assertion? When I asked for a loan of five thousand sesterces, you refused me, though your overstocked cash-box could not contain your hoards. When did you give me a bushel of beans or grain, though you have lands ploughed by Egyptian husbandmen? When was even a scanty toga sent me in the cold winter season ? When did half a pound of silver find its way to me ? I see nothing to make me look upon you as a friend, Crispus, but your habit of putting yourself quite at ease in my presence. You say, I have no better friend than you : What do you do, to make me think it true ? I wanted but five pounds, which you deny; Though you have useless thousands lying by. From all the fertile harvests of your plain. When did you send to me one single grain ? 454 maetial's When a short cloak, to guard me from the cold ? To line my purse, when a small piece of gold ? I see no mark of friendship on your part ; But, before me, you are free enough to — . Hay. XV. O^ APEE. Aper has pierced the heart of his richly-dowered wife with a sharp arrow. But it was in play. Aper is skilful at play. With a sly shaft he shot his dowried wife. Arch Aper knows the game, and plays for life. Elphinston. XYI. TO CAIUS. If you call it making a present, Caius, to promise and not to give, I will far outdo you in gifts and presents. E-eceive from me all that the Asturian has extracted from the mines of Gallicia ; all that the golden wave of the rich Tagus pos- sesses ; all that the swarthy Indian finds in the seaweed of the Erythraean sea; all that the solitary bird amasses in its nest ; all that industrious Tyre collects in her Phoenician coppers ; all that the whole world possesses, receive from me, — after your own manner of giving. If promises, for gifts, thou dost account, See, Caius, how in gifts I thee surmount. Take all the gold delv'd in Asturian fields ; The wealthy sand the strand of Tagus yields ; Whate'er the Indians find of yellow ore ; The spices which the phenix' nest do store ; Tyre's richest purple, all that all men have, I give you, Caius, just as you me gave. Anon. XYII. TO HIS MUSE, ON MACEE. In vain, my Muse, would you defraud Macer of his tribute at the Saturnalia; you cannot, he himself asks you for it. He demands the customary jokes, and cheerful verses ; and complains that he no longer hears my jests. But he is now engaged upon long computations of surveyors ; and what will become of thee, Appian Way, if Macer reads my epigrams " Felonious Muse, dost thou pretend To bilk both Saturn and thy friend Of their delight, the jocund lay ; The annual tribute thou should'st pay ? Though Macer now has little leisure To scan, but heavy books of measure ; BOOK X.] EPIGRAMS. 455 Amid his labours he complains He hears no more my flippant strains. Poor Appian ! what thy fate would be Did Macer also study me ! Elphinston, XYIII. ON MAEITTS. Marius neither asks any one to dinner, nor sends presents, nor becomes security for any one, nor is willing to lend ; in- deed he has nothing to lend. Nevertheless a crowd is found to court his barren friendship. Alas, how besotted, Kome, are the wearers of thy toga ! No dinners ! presents ! he is no man's bail ! He cannot lend, because his riches fail ! Yet crowds attend his future power and grace. For fools of all sorts London is the place. Say- XIX. HE SElfDS HIS BOOK TO PLINT THE TOFNGER. Gro, my Thalia, and present to the eloquent Pliny my little book, which though not learned enough or very grave, is not entirely devoid of elegance. "When you have passed the Su- burra, it is no long labour to ascend the steep pathway over the Esquiline hill. There you vdll see a glittering statue of Orpheus on the top of a perfume- sprinkled theatre, surrounded by beasts wondering at his music ; and among them the royal bird which carried off Ganymede for the Thunderer. Near it is the humble house of your friend Pedo, surmounted by an eagle with smaller wings. But take care lest, in a moment of indiscretion, you knock at the learned Pliny's door at an inauspicious time. He devotes his whole days to the severe Minerva, while preparing for the ears of the centumviri that which our own age and posterity may compare even with the eloquent pages of Cicero. You will go with the best chance of success when the evening lamps are lighted. That hour is for you the best when the god of wine reigns, when the rose holds its sway, and the hair is moistened vsdth perfumes. Then even rigid Catos read me. My book not learn'd enough, enough severe, But yet not rude, to fluent Pliny bear, Sportive Thalia. The Suburran way Pass'd, with short labour the next hill you may Ascend : from whence, thou Orpheus (set on high, Dash'd by the theatre) plainly shalt descry ; 456 maetial's The wond'ring beasts, the king of birds and air, Which the young Phrygian to the Thund'rer bear: There thy friend Pedo's house stands also by, Showing a lesser eagle carv'd on high. But to learn'd Pliny make not thy address Wanton, but when time suits for thy access ; He in severer studies spends the day. How he the Hundred Judges best may sway • Studies, which ours, nor no age, will forbear. With Tully's noblest labours to compare. Thou'lt safeli'st go when it is candle-light ; This is the hour when Bacchus mads the night ; Wlien odours reign, when roses crown the head, By rigid Cato then thou may'st be read. Anon. 1695. XX. TO MATiTIIIS. That Celtiberian Salo draws me to its auriferous banks, that I am pleased again to visit the dwellings of my native land suspended amid rocks, you, Manius, are the cause; you who have been beloved of me from my infant years, and cherished with affection in the days of my youth ; than whom there is no one in all Iberia dearer to me, or more worthy of real regard. With you I should delight even in a tent of the Libyan desert, or a hut of the savage Scythian. If your sentiments are the same, if our affections are mutual, every place will be a Home to us both. That in my native soil I long to be, The golden sands of Spanish Salo see ; Thou, to whom love from tender years I bore, Honour'd, while yet thou the praetexta wore. Art the chief cause : and yet a sweeter air No country yields, or may with Spain compare. But, wert with thee, I Scythia could enjoy. Nor would the sands of Africk me annoy. If mutual love thou bear'st and a like mind, Rome we shall both in ev'ry climate find. Anon. 1695. XXI. TO SEXTTJS, A WEITEE AFFECTING OBSCUEITT. Why, I ask, Sextus, is it your delight to produce com- positions which even Modestus himself, or Claranus, could scarcely understand ? Tour books require, Dot a reader, but an Apollo. In your judgment Cinna was a greater poet than Virgil. May your works receive similar praise ! As for BOOK X.] EPIGRAMS. 457 mine, I am content that they please the G-rammarians, provided they please others without the aid of Grrammarians. What pleasure is it, that your writings are Almost too hard for Bentley or for Hare ? You write not to be read, but criticis'd : Persius you follow ; Virgil is despis'd. This be your praise : but may my every line, Or with a comment, or without it, shine. Hay. XXII. TO PHIL^NIS. Do you ask, Philaenis, why I often come abroad with plaister on my chin, or with my lips covered with salve when nothing ails them ? I do not wish to kiss you. "Why on my chin a plaster clapp'd ; Besalv'd my hps, that are not chapp'd : Philaenis, why ? The cause is this : Philaenis, thee I will not kiss. JElphinston. XXIII. ON" M. ANTONIUS PRIMUS. The happy Antonius Primus now numbers fifteen Olym- piads (75 years) passed in tranquillity ; he looks back upon the days that are gone, and the whole of his past years, with- out fearing the waters of Lethe to which he daily draws nearer. Not one day of his brings remorse or an unpleasant reflection ; there is none which he would be unwilling to re- call. A good man lengthens his term of existence ; to be able to enjoy our past life is to live twice. At length, my friend (while time with still career Wafts on his gentle wing this eightieth year), Sees his past days safe out of Fortune's pow'r, Nor dreads approaching fate's uncertain hour ; Reviews his life, and, in the strict survey, Finds not one moment he could wish away, Pleas' d with the series of each happy day. Such, such a man extends his life's short space. And from the goal again renews the race : For he lives twice who can at once employ The present well, and e'en the past enjoy. Pope. XXIY. OK THE KALENDS, OE PIEST DAT, OF MAECH. O Kalends of March, anniversary of my birth, day more charming to me than any other kalends, day on which even maidens send me presents, I place upon the hearth, in honour of you, these cakes, and this censer, for the fifty-seventh time. 458 maetial's To these years (provided it be for my good) add at my eii' treaty, I beseech you, twice nine more, so that I may de- scend to the groves of the Elysian queen vrhile still undis abled with protracted old age, yet having accomplished the three stages of life. After such a Nestor's existence, I will not ask for a single day more. Mars's calends, ne'er outshin'd ! _ Fairest of the calend-kind ! When to me the maids present Fifty cakes for half a cent : "With the fifty, truth requires Censer seventh, upon your fires. Still to these, if so be best. Add twice nine, I meek obtest ; That, not yet quite spent with age. Though thrice trod the youthful stage, I may seek Elysian groves : Earthly wish no wider roves. Elphinston. XXT. Olf MUCITIS. If that Mucins, whom we lately beheld in the arena in the morning, and who thrust his hand into the blazing fire, appears to you to be a man of patience, fortitude, and endurance, you have no more sense than the people of Abdera ; for when a man is commanded, with the alternative of the pitched shirt before his eyes, to burn his hand, it would be more courage- ous to say, " I will not burn it ! " • Who Mucins acted on the stage's sand. So promptly thrust into the flame his hand ; If brave and bold for this thou him dost deem, Thyself of some dull clime I must esteem : To save his life by this means was his case ; 'Twere braver far to have refus'd the grace. Anon. 1695. XXVI. ON THE DEATH OF THE CENTTJEION" VAETJS IN EOTPT. O Varus, thou who wast but lately a Roman officer of rank among the Parsetonian cities, and a distinguished leader of a hundred men, art now reposing, a strange shade, on the Egyp- tian shore ; your return is vainly expected by the Ausonian Quirinus. It was not permitted us to moisten thy parching lips with our tears, nor to place rich incense on thy sad pyre. But an enduring tribute shall be given thee in immortal verse. Wouldst thou, perfidious Nile, also deprive us of this ? ^1 5n- ■ de- I lis- f{ BOOK X.] EPIGEAMS. 459 Varus, who as Rome's Tribune didst command An hundred men, renown'd in Egypt's land. Now as a stranger ghost thou dost remaine On Nil us' shore, promis'd to Rome in vaine. We could not dew with teares thy dying face, Nor thy sad funerall flames with odours grace ; Yet in my verse eterniz'd shalt thou bee : Of that false ^gypt cannot cousen thee. May, XXVII. TO DIODOETTS. On your birth-daj, Diodorus, the senate and a great many knights sit as guests at your table ; and your sportula is a largess of no less than thirty sesterces to each person. And yet, Diodorus, no one regards you as a man of birth. The senate did thy birth-day celebrate ; Many knights also at thy table sat : Largess thou gav'st ; yet still thou'rt all men's scorn ; None will believe that ever thou wert born. Anon. 1695. XXTIII. TO JANUS. O most honoured father of years, and of this glorious uni- verse, to whom first of all the gods the public vows and pray- ers are addressed, thou wert formerly wont to dwell in a small temple, open to all, and through w^hich the busy crowd of Rome wore their constant way. Now thy threshold is sur- rounded with tokens of the munificence of Caesar, and thou numberest, Janus, as many forums as thou hast faces. But do thou, venerable father, in gratitude for such a boon, secure thy iron gates with a perpetual bolt.^ Father of years, and of each beauteous round ; "Whom first our vows invoke, our thanks resound ! Pervious and scanty was thy late abode, "Where many a Roman beat a barb'rous road. Now gifts Cesarean thy glad thresholds grace, And thou a square enjoy'st for every face. For these, O sacred fire ! benign agree To lock thy cloisters with perpetual key. Elphinston. XXTX. TO SEXTILIANirS. The dish which you were wont to present to me, Sextilianus, at the Saturnalia, you have bestowed on your mistress : and with the price of my toga, which you used to give me on the first of March, you have bought her a green dinner robe. ' That is, grant us uninterrupted peace. The temple of Janus was open only in time of war. 460 maetial's Tour mistresses now begin to cost you nothing ; you enjoy them at my expense. In the days of old Saturn you dol'd me a dish, Which you now throw your damsel, like bait to a fish. On the calends of March you enlarg'd my renown ; Now you buy the green vest with the price of my gown. The fair fav'rites, Sextilian, you render so gay, Are, by my presents only, enroU'd in your pay. Elphinston. XXX. TO APOLLIN^AEIS ON THE CHARMS OP FORMIC. O delightful shore of salubrious Pormise; Apollinaris, when he flees from the city of stern Mars, and wearied lays aside his anxious cares, prefers thee to every other spot. The charming Tivoli, the birth-place of his virtuous wife, is not to him so attractive, neither are the retreats of Tusculum, or Algidus, or Praeneste, or Antium. He pines not after the bland Circe, or Trojan Caieta, or Marica, or Liris, or the fountain of Salmacis, which feeds the Lucrine lake. At FormiaB the surface of the ocean is but gently crisped by the breeze ; and though tranquil, is ever in motion, and bears along the painted skiff under the influence of a gale as gentle as that wafted by a maiden's fan when she is distressed by heat. Nor has the fishing-line to seek its victim far out at sea ; but the fish may be seen beneath the pellucid waters, seizing the line as it drops from the chamber or the couch. Were ^olus ever to send a storm, the table, still sure of its provision, might laugh at his railings ; for the native fish-pool protects the turbot and the pike ; delicate lampreys swim up to their master; delicious mullet obey the call of the keeper, and the old carp come forth at the sound of his voice. But when does Rome permit him to partake of these enjoy- ments ? How many days at Formiae does the year allot to him, closely chained as he is to the pursuits of the city ? Happy gate-keepers and bailifl's ! These gratifications pro- vided for your masters, are enjoyed by you. O Bay of Formise, temperate and fair ! Which, when Apollinaris, tir'd with care, Flies from the toilsome business of the town, Than pleasant Tybur holds in more renown, His chaste wife's soil : prefers to th' sweet recess Of Tusculane, Praeneste, Lucrine ; less Esteems Cajeta, or what men more admire, Bais'd by their fancy or by fiction higher. BOOK X.l EPiaEAMS. 461 A gentle air here glides o'er Thetis' face. Such as the fans of Virgin,, make, to chase Summer's ungrateful heat. The sea is smooth, Not torpid dead, but a soft gale does soothe The active calm ; and painted gallies move. For fish you need not launch into the deep. These you may take, and yet your chamber keep, Out at your window cast your line and lead. And draw the dangling prey up to your bed. And w^hen the waves by winter winds arise, From your safe board you may the storm despise. Gardens no less, and fresh springs Formise grace. Fountains are seen to flow in ev'ry place ; Fish-ponds the stranger trout and mullet feed, The home-bred pike, which call'd, does come with speed ; Fat carps here know their names, and to you make, And all a pastime is, no pains, to take. But to the owners when does Rome give leave, But a few days these pleasures to receive ? Fruition's lost, while they to business cleave. These sweets (O hinds and gard'ners, happy crew !) Were for your lords prepar'd, but are enjoy'd by you. Anon. 1695. In vain rude -94 maetial's Which lambkin's oft, or kidling's, blood has soil'd, While duty chid the horror that recoil'd. Dear delegate, with pious awe sustain The virgin-goddess of the hallow'd fane ; And him the modest sister joys to see, The champion of my Calends and of me. Still dress the laurel-grove, that Flora knew, When from the brutal ravisher she flew. Hail, guardian-group of my beloved spot ! O ne'er forgetting, ne'er to be forgot ! Or you, in arduous task, or thankful ease. Let bloodshed honour, or let incense please ; Where'er your Martial be, his friend will say, He ministers with me your rites to-day. Absent, alas ! impute him still at hand. And grant to both what either may demand. Elphinsfon. XCIII. TO CLEMETTS, 01^ SENDi:tfG SOME UNPUBLISHED POEMS TO HIS WIFE. If, Clemens, you see the Euganean coast of Helicaon, and the fields varied with vine-clad hills, before me, present to your wife Sabina, to whom Atesta gave birth, these verses not yet published, but just stitched up in a purple cover. As a rose which is newly plucked delights us, so a new book, not yet soiled with the beards of readers, gives us pleasure. Should'st thou see sooner Helicaon's reign. Where viny ridges paint the pregnant plain ; To Sabine Atestina bear with awe Some strains empurpled that the world ne'er saw. As a fair rose delights, when pluck' d in prime, So virgin-stanzas and unsullied rhyme. ElpUnston. XCIV. WITH A PRESENT OE ERUIT. No Libyan dragon guards my orchards, no royal plantations of Alcinous serve me ; but my garden flourishes in security with Nomentan trees, and my common fruits do not tempt the robber. I send you here, therefore, some of my rosy au- tumnal apples, gathered in the midst of the Suburra. No snake of Massylia my orchards defends : No soil of Alcinous my wishes attends. Secure my Nomentan : no robbers are here. My crabs and my coddlings depend without fear. BOOK X.] EPIGRAMS. 495 These pippins, in genial Subura that grew, My autumn's best produce, have mellow'd for you. Elphinston. * XCT. TO GALLA. Tour husband and your gallant alike refuse, G-alla, to ac- knowledge your infant : thus, I consider, they plainly declare that they have done nothing to render you a mother. Thee back the child thy lord and lover sent : Both claimless, Galla, to thy kind intent. Elphinston. XCYI. TO AYITITS. Ton are astonished, Avitus, that I, who have grown old in the capital of Latium, should so often speak of countries afar off ; that I should thirst for the gold-bearing Tagus, and my native Salo; and that I should long to return to the rude fields around my well-furnished cottage. But that land wins my affection, in which a small income is sufficient for happi- ness, and a slender estate affords even luxuries. Here we must nourish our fields : there the fields nourish us. Here the hearth is warmed by a half-starved fire ; there it burns with unstinted brilliancy. Here to be hungry is an expensive gratification, and the market ruins us ; there the table is cov- ered with the riches of its own neighbourhood. Here four togas or more are worn out in a summer; there one suffices for four autumns. Go then and pay your court to patrons, while a spot exists which offers you everything that a pro- tector refuses you. Me, who have lived so long among the great, You wonder to hear talk of a retreat, And a retreat so distant as may show No thoughts of a return when once I go. Give me a country, how remote soe'er, "Where happiness a moderate rate doth bear ; Where poverty itself in plenty flows. And all the solid use of riches knows. The ground about the house maintains it there; The house maintains the ground about it here. Here even hunger 's dear, and a full board Devours the vital substance of the lord. The land itself does there the feast bestow, The land itself must here to market go. Three or four suits one winter here does waste ; One suit does there three or four winters last. 4^96 Martial's Here every frugal man must oft be cold, And little luke-warm fires to you sold : There fire 's an element as cheap and free Almost as any other of the three. Stay you then here, and live among the great, Attend their sports, and at their table eat ; When all the bounties here of men you score, The place's bounty there will give you more. Cowley. XCVII. OlS" TiTUMA. "While the lightly-piled funeral pyre was being supplied with paper to kindle it ; while the desolate wife was buying myrrh and lavender ; when the grave, the bier, the corpse- anointer, were all ready, Numa made me his heir, and forth- with recovered. While they the funeral charge prepare Which in the paper piles placed are, And Numa's weeping wife now buys Sweet perfumes for his obsequies. His grave and bier being ready made, And one to wash his body dead. And me left heir by his own pen, Pox on him ! he grew well again. Fletcher. XCVIII. TO PUBLITJS. When my Csecuban wine is poured out for me by an attendant of yours, more delicate than the Idaean Granymede, than whom neither your daughter, nor your wife, nor your mother, nor your sister, recline more elegantly attired at table, would you have me rather look at your dress, and your old citron-wood furniture, and your Indian ivories ? However that I may not, while your guest, incur your suspicions, let me be served by the son of some rank swineherd, or coarse fellow from a mean village, with bristling hair, rough, rude, and ill-grown. Your pretended modesty will betray you ; you cannot have at the same time, Publius, such morals as you wish us to suppose, and such beautiful minions. When a looser lad, forsooth, Than was e'er th' Idean youth, Ministers Cecubian juice ; Than thy daughter's self more spruce, Than thy mate, or mother fine, Or thy sister can recline : BOOK X.] EPiaEAMS. 497 Must I more thy trappings twang, Citron old, or Indian fang ? Yet, offenceless that I lean, That I thee, like me, serene ; From the herd, or sordid cot, Let the homely train be got ; Crept and bristling, rude, and small ; Rankest swineherd's children all. Thus, my friend, beware undoing : Blushes may bewray thy ruin. But thou canst not those I see, Publius, keep, and blushing be. Mphinston. XCIX. ON A POETRAIT OP SOCEATES. If these lineaments of Socrates could be supposed to re- present a E/oman, it would be Julius Eufus among the Satyrs (? Satirists) . This Socrates, had he a Roman been, "Were Julius Rufus, 'mid the Satyrs, seen. Mj^hinston, C. TO A PLAGIAEIST. "Why, simpleton, do you mix your verses with mine ? What have you to do, foolish man, with writings that convict you of theft ? Why do you attempt to associate foxes with lions, and make owls pass for eagles ? Though you had one of Ladas's legs, you would not be able, blockhead, to run with the other leg of wood. Fool that you are to mix your verse with mine ; Of theft indicted by each other line. To herd with lions will the fox delight ? Eagles resemblance bear to birds of night ? Can you expect to run with one leg good, When you another have, which is of wood ? Say* CI. ON CAPITOLINUS. If it were possible for G-abba, who owed so much to the patronage of Augustus, to return to earth from the Elysian plains, he who should hear Capitolinus and G-abba engage in a combat of wit, would say, "Dull Gabba, be silent." Could witty Rochester return again With jokes his merry prince to entertain ; And he and you could with the monarch sit ; He'd silence Rochester for want of wit. Hay. 2 K 498 maetial's cit. to avitus. You ask me, Avitus, how Philenus became a father, he who never did anything to gain the name ? Graditanus can tell you, he who, without writing anything, claims to be a poet. Hee Venus sports did never try, Yett is a father. You'd know why. Ask Gaditane, that never writt, And is a poet called yett. Old MS. 16th Cent. How Joseph's self a father may be made And long sterility a child produce, Let Glynn declare, who got by Robert's aid A thriving babe upon a barren muse. Dr. Hodgson.^ CIII. TO HIS FELLOW TOWNSMEN OE BILBILIS. Fellow townsmen, born upon the steep slope of Augustan Bilbilis, which Salo encompasses with its rapid waters, does the poetical glory of your bard afford you any pleasure ? For my honour, and renown, and fame, are yours ; nor does Yerona, who would willingly number me among her sons, owe more to her tender Catullus. It is now thirty-four years that you have presented your rural offerings to Ceres without me; meanwhile I have been dwelling within the beautiful walls of imperial E-ome, and the Italian clime has changed the colour of my hair. If you will receive me cordially, I come to join you ; if your hearts are frigid, I shall quickly leave you. My friends, who round Mount Caburn do abide, Drink Lewes' stream, or o'er her carpet ride ; Are you not anxious for your poet's fame ? His honours yours, and yours his deathless name. Much Twicknam owes to Pope : now he is gone, May you not wish some poet for your oAvn r You without me, now thirty years at least, In social mirth enjoy your Christmas feast. While in this fair metropolis we stay, Our hairs, alas ! (as soon you'll see), are grey. If well receiv'd, with you will we remain : If not, a chaise conveys us back again. Hat/. • Tlie Day of Judgement, a Seatonian prize poem (1757), written by Roberts, was fathered by Glynn of King's College, Cambridge, because the real author was too old to be a candidate ; in order to extort from Baky (a third kingsman, and one of the best modern Latinists) his revenue, as he used facetiously to term this prize. BOOK X.] EPIGRAMS. 499 CIV. TO HIS BOOK, PRESENTED TO ELACCTJS ON HIS DEPARTURE EOR SPAIN. Go, my little book, go ; accompany my Flaccus across the wide, but propitious, waters of the deep, and with unob- structed course, and favouring winds, reach the towers of Hispanian Tarragona. Thence a chariot will take you, and, carried swiftly along, you will see the lofty Bilbilis, and your dear Salo, after the fifth change of carriages. Do you ask what are my commissions for you ? That, the moment you arrive, you ofier my respects to a few but old friends, whom I have not seen for four and thirty years, and that you then request my friend Placcus to procure me a retreat, pleasant and commodious, at a moderate price ; a retreat in which your author may enjoy his ease. That is all ; now the master of the vessel is bawling loudly, and chiding your de- lay, and a fair wind favours the way out of the harbour. Fare- well, my book. A single passenger, as I suppose you know, must not keep a vessel waiting. Go, little book, my kind companion, go : O'er gentle waves may winds propitious blow. Having made all thine own, the heavenly pow'rs ; Explore the friendly Tarraconian tow'rs. Thence mount thy car, and joyous skim the land, Where fond Hispania waves her hailing hand. The fifth blest stage may haply give to ring My lofty Bilbilis, and bid thy Salo sing. Thou askest my commands ? Make no delay, Nor seek a respite from the weary way, Till thou salute my ancient friends — how few ! Whom, twice seventeen long winters since, I knew. Instant our best beloved Flaccus tell To trace me out a sweet sequester'd cell. Benign of aspect, of salubrious breeze, Where thy worn parent may retire to ease. Hark ! how the master calls to spread the sail, Chastens delay, and gratulates the gale That opes the port. Farewell, my filial lay : One passenger, thou know'st, will ne'er the vessel stay. Elphinston. 2 R 2 500 BOOK XL I. TO HIS BOOK. Whithee, mj book, whither are you going so much at your ease, clad in a holiday dress of fine Hnen ? Is it to see Parthenius ? ^ certainly. Gro, then, and return unopened ; for he does not read books, but only memorials ; nor has he time for the muses, or he would have time for his own. Or do you esteem yourself sufficiently happy, if you fall into hands of less note ? In that case, repair to the neighbouring portico of Eomulus ; that of Pompeius does not contain a more idle crowd, nor does that of Agenor's daughter, ^ or that of the inconstant captain ^ of the first ship. Two or three may be found there who will shake out the worms that infest my trifles ; but they will do so only when they are tired of the betting and gossip about Scorpus and Incitatus.'* Whither, ah ! whither, idle muse, Stray you from Dodsley's shop so spruce ? To minister of high condition. Less used to poem than petition ? By him received, you may lie still, ' With that or with a tradesman's bill. Or if to verse he should incline ; More to his own, perhaps, than mine. Are you content to lie on stall, A common prostitute to all ? Go, then, and catch some loitering beau, Whilst he is walking to and fro ; Who in the playhouses delights, Or Tom's, or Cocoa-tree, or White's. How few will take from mice their due ! Nor will your follies by those few Be told ; but when their stories flag Of some new bet or running nag. Say. II. TO HIS EEADEES. Ye stern brows and severe looks of rigid Catos, ye daughters of rustic Pabricii, ye mock -modest, ye censors of 1 See B. V. Ep. 6, and B. iv. Ep. 45. 2 Europa. See B. ii. Ep. 14. 2 Jason. 4 Charioteers. BOOK XI.] EPIGEAMS. 501 morals, aye, and all ye proprieties opposed to the joys oi darkness, flee hence ! Hark ! my verses exclaim, " Hail, Sa turnalia !" we are at liberty, and, tinder thy rule, Nerva, re- joice. Fastidious readers may con over the rugged verses of Santra.i i^q j^^ve nothing in common ; the book before you is mine. Sad looks, and rigid Cato's stricter brow, And coarse Fabricius' daughter from the plough. Disguised pride, manners by rule put on, And -what we are not in the dark, begone. My verses lo Saturnalia cry, And, Nerva, under thee 'tis liberty. Fletcher. III. ON HIS OWN WEITINGS. It is not the idle people of the city only that delight in my Muse, nor is it alone to listless ears that these verses are addressed, but my book is thumbed amid Getic frosts, near martial standards, by the stern centurion ; and even Britain is said to sing my verses. Yet of what advantage is it to me ? My purse benefits nought by my reputation. What immortal pages could I not have written and what wars could I not have sung to the Pierian trumpet, if, when the kind deities gave a second Augustus ^ to the earth, they had likewise given to thee, O Eome, a second Maecenas. 'Tis not the city only doth approve My muse, or idle eares my verses love. The rough centurion, where cold frosts orespread The Scythian fields, in war my bookes doth read. My fines are sung in Brittaine far remote ; But yet my empty purse perceives it not. What deathless numbers from my pen would flow ? What wars would my Pierian Trumpet blow ? If, as Augustus now againe doth live, So Rome to me would a Mecsenas give. May. lY. INVOCATION TO THE GODS IN EAVOTrii OF TKAJAN. Te sacred altars, and Phrygian Lares, whom the Tro- jan hero preferred to snatch from the flames,rather than pos- sess the wealth of Laomedon ; thou, Jupiter, now first re- presented in imperishable gold ; thou, his sister, and thou, ^ A Roman grammarian of wliom nothing remaias. 2 The emperor Nerva. 502 maetial's his daughter, the offspring solely of the supreme Father ; thou, too, Janus, who now repeatest the name of JN'erva for the third time in the purple Tasti, I offer to you this prayer with pious lips : " Preserve, all of you, this our emperor ; preserve the senate ; and may the senators exhibit in their lives the morals of their prince, the prince his own." The Phrygian gods and sacred rites to save, Up to the flames the Trojan hero gave Troy's wealth ; Jove, Juno, whom we now behold, With Pallas, first engraved in purest gold, And Janus, who records the happy day Of Numa's reign. To all I pious pray. The senate may be safe, the prince's throne, By his example all may live, he by his own. Anon. 1695. Y. TO TRAJAK. Tou have as much reverence for justice and equity, Caesar, as Numa had ; but JSTuma was poor. It is an arduous task to preserve morality from the corruption of riches, and to be a JSTuma after surpassing so many Croesuses. If the great names of old, our ancient progenitors, were to return to life, and liberty were granted them to leave the Elysian groves, tmconquered Camillus would worship you as Liberty her- self; Fabricius would consent to receive money if you w^ere to offer it ; Brutus would rejoice in having you for his emperor ; to you the blood-thirsty Sylla would offer his power when about to resign it ; Pompey, in concord with Caesar, as a private citizen, would love you ; Crassus would bestow upon you all his wealth ; and even Cato himself, were he recalled from the infernal shades of Pluto, and restored to the earth, would join the party of Caesar. Thy love of right and justice, Csesar, 's more Than Numa's was, and Numa yet was poor, j, 'Tis rare, when riches cannot taint the mind, In Crcesus' wealth, a Numa's soul to find. If our old Romans of renowned name (Dispensed with in Elisium) hither came, Camillus, thee t' obey, would think it free ; Fabricius would take gold, if giv'n by thee ; In such a king Brutus would take delight ; Sylla, to thee resign th' imperial right ; Caesar and Pompey private men would live ; And Crassus his loved treasure to thee give ; BOOK XI.] EPIGRAMS. 503 Cato himself, if Fates would set him free, Return'd to earth, would a Caesarean be. Anon. 1695. YI. TO EOME, OK THE SATtTEIfALIA. In these festive days of the scythe-bearing old man, when the dice-box rules supreme, you will permit me, I feel as- sured, cap-clad E/ome,^ to sport in unlaboured verse. Tou smile : I may do so then, and am not forbidden. Depart, pale cares, far away from hence ; let us say whatever comes uppermost without disagreeable reflection. Mix cup after cup, my attendants, such as Pythagoras ^ used to give to Nero ; mix, Dindymus, mix still faster. I can do nothing without wine ; but, while I am drinking, the power of fifteen poets will show itself in me. Now give me kisses, such as Catullus would have loved ; and if I receive as many as he describes, I will give you the ' Sparrow ' ^ of Catullus. In scythe-crown'd Saturn's feasts, wherein The box of dice doth reign as king, All-cover'd Rome, thou dost permit Me now to sport my fluent wit. So I suppose, for thou did'st smile, Thence we are not forbid the while. Ye pallid cares, far hence begone, I '11 speak whate'er I think upon, Sans any studied delay ; So fill me out three cups, my boy, Such as Pithagoras did give To Nero when he here did live ; But, Dindymus, fill faster too, For sober I can nothing do. When I am drunk up to the height Full fifteen poets seize me straight. Now give me kisses, such as were Catullus his, and if they are So numerous as his are said to be, I will Catullus' sparrow give to thee. Fletcher. YII. TO PAULA. You will certainly, Paula, no longer say to your stupid husband, whenever you wish to run after some distant gallant, " Csesar has ordered me to come in the morning ^ The slaves wore caps at the Saturnalia ; at other times their heads were bare. 2 A favourite of Nero. ^ jjis most famous poem. 604 maetial's to his Alban villa ; Caesar lias sent for me to Circeii.'* Such stratagems are now stale. "With Nerva as emperor, you ought to be a Penelope ; but your licentiousness and force of habit prevent it. Unhappy woman! what will you do ? will you pretend that one of your female friends is ill ? Tour husband will attach himself as escort to his lady. He will go with you to your brother, and your mother, and your father. "What tricks will your in- genuity then devise ? Another adultress might say, perhaps, that she is hysterical, and wishes to take a sitting-bath in the Sinuessan lake. How much better will it be, Paula, whenever you wish to go and take your pleasure, to tell your husband the truth. YIII. ON THE KISSES OF HIS EAVOUEITE. The fragrance of balsam extracted from aromatic trees ; the ripe odour yielded by the teeming saffron; the per- fume of fruits mellowing in their winter repository; or of the flowery meadows in the vernal season ; or of silken robes of the Empress from her Palatine wardrobes; of amber warmed by the hand of a maiden ; of a jar of dark Palernian wine, broken and scented from a distance ; ^ of a garden that attracts the Sicilian bees ; of the alabaster jars of Cosmus, and the altars of the gods ; of the chaplet just fallen from the brow of the luxurious; — but why should I mention all these things singly ? not one of them is enough by itself; mix all together, and you have the perfume of the morning kisses of my favourite. Do you want to know the name ? I will only tell you of the kisses. You swear to be secret. You want to know too much, Sabinus. Like balsams chaf d by some exotick fayre : Or from a saffron field fresh gliding ayre : In winter chests like apples ripening, Or grounds o'erspread with budding trees in spring : Like silken robes in royal presses : and Gumms suppled by a virgin's soft white hand : As broken jars of Falerne wines do smell Far off: or flow'ry gardens where bees dwell : Perfumers potts, burnt incense tost in the ayre : Chaplets new fall'n from rich perfumed hayre : ^ Such fragrance being more grateful from a distance. BOOE: XI.] EPIGEAMS. 505 What more ? All 's not enough : mix all t' express My dear girl's morning kisses sweetnesses. You'ld know her name ? I'll nought but kisses tell : I doubt, I swear, you'ld know her fain too well. OU MS. 16th Century. IX. ON" A POETEAIT OP MEMOE, A TEA GIG POET. Memor, distinguished by the chaplet of Jove's oak, the glory of the Eoman stage, breathes here, restored by the pencil of Apelles. X. ON TTJENUS. Turnus has consecrated his vast genius to satire. "Why did he not devote it in the manner of Memor ? He was his brother.^ XI. TO HIS SLATE. Away, boy, with these goblets, and these embossed vases of the tepid Nile, and give me, with steady hand, cups fami- liar to the lips of our sires, and pure from the touch of a virtuous attendant. Restore to our table its pristine hon- our. It becomes you, Sardanapalus, to drink out of jewelled cups, you who would convert a master-piece of Mentor into a convenience for your mistress. XII. ON ZOILUS. Though the rights of a father of even seven children be given you, Zoilus, no one can give you a mother, or a father. XIII. EPITAPH ON PAEIS THE ACTOE. Whoever thou art, traveller, that treadest the Flaminian way, pass not unheeded this noble tomb. The delight of the city, the wit of the ]SIile,^the art and grace, the sportive- ness and joy, the glory and grief of the Boman theatre, and all its Venuses and Cupids, lie buried in this tomb, with Paris. Thou that beatest the Flaminian Way, Pass not this noble tomb, but stay : Here Rome's delight, and Nile's salt treasure, Art, graces, sport, and sweetest pleasure, The grief and glory of the stage, And all the Cupids of the age, * He did not wish to rival Memor. Turnus is mentioned in B. vii. Ep. 95. ^ Paris was born in Egypt. 506 maetial's And all the Venuses, lie here, Interred in Paris' sepulchre. Fletcher. XIV. ON" A HUSBANDMAIT, A DWARF. ye heirs, bury not the dwarf husbandman, for the least quantity of earth will lie heavy on him. XY. 02^ HIS BOOK. There are some of my writings which may be read by the wife of a Cato, and the most austere of Sabine women. But I wish the present little book to laugh from one end to the other, and to be more free in its language than any of my books ; to be redolent of wine, and not ashamed of being greased with the rich unguents of Cosmus ; a book to make sport for boys, and to make love to girls ; and to speak, with- out disguise, of that by respecting which men are ge- nerated, the parent indeed of all; which the pious Numa used to call by its simple name. E-emember, however, Apol- linaris, that these verses are for the Saturnalia, and not to be taken as a picture of my morals. I have such papers that grim Cato's wife May read, and strictest Sabines in their life. ' I will this book should laugh throughout and jest, And be more wicked than are all the rest. And sweat with wine, and with rich unguents flow, And sport with boys, and with the wenches too ; Nor by periphrasis describe that thing, That common parent whence we aU do spring ; Which sacred Numa once by 't 's name did call. Yet still suppose these verses saturnal. O my Apollinaris, this my book Has no dissembled manners, no feign'd look. Fletcher. XVI. TO HIS EEADEES. Header, if you are exceedingly staid, you may shut up my book whenever you please ; I write now for the idlers of the city ; my verses are devoted to the god of Lampsacus, and my hand shakes the Castanet, as briskly as a dancing-girl of Cadiz. Oh ! how often will you feel your desires aroused, even though you were more frigid than Curius and Fabricius. Thou too, young damsel, wilt read the gay and sportive sallies of ray book not without emotion, even though thou shouldst be a native of Patavium. Lucretia blushes, and lays BOOK XI.] EPiaitAMS. 507 my book aside ; but Brutus is present. Let Brutus retire, and she will read. XTII. TO SABIN^US. It is not every page in my book that is intended to be read at night ; you will find something also, Sabinus, to read in the morning. Not all my verse for Night's loose hours are "vvrit, Many you'll find the sober morning fit. Anon. 1695. XYIII. TO LTJPUS. You have given me, Lupus, an estate in the suburbs, but I have a larger estate on my window-sill. Can you say that this is an estate, — can you call this, I say, an estate, where a sprig of rue makes a grove for Diana ; whicb the wing of the chirping grasshopper is sufficient to cover; which an ant could lay waste in a single day ; for which the leaf of a rose- bud would serve as a canopy; in which herbage is not more easily found than Cosmus's perfumes,^ or green pepper : in which a cucumber cannot lie straight, or a snake uncoil itself. As a garden, it would scarcely feed a single cater- pillar ; a gnat would eat up its willow bed and starve ; a mole would serve for digger and ploughman. The mushroom can- not expand in it, the fig cannot bloom, the violet cannot open. A mouse would destroy the whole territory, and is as much an object of terror as the Calydonian boar. My crop is car- ried ofi" by the claws of a flying Progne, and deposited in a swallow's nest ; and there is not room even for the half of a Priapus, though he be without his scythe and sceptre. The harvest, when gathered in, scarcely fills a snail-shell ; and the wine may be stored up in a nut-shell stopped with resin. You have made a mistake. Lupus, though only in one letter ; instead of giving me a,praedium, I would rather you had given me a prandium? Lupus, a farm near town you gave to me ; A larger plot I in my window see ; Such scrap of earth a farm 'twere hard to prove, When one small rue-plant makes Diana's grove. 1 Cosmi folium. Some editors read costi folium, " leaf of spikenard." Spikenard does not grow in Italy . 2 Prcediunit " a farm " or " estate ; " prandium, " a dinner." 1 508 mabtial's This, which a locust's wing might overlay ! Whose crops would feed an ant one single day ! This, which a folded rose-leaf might have crown' d, Where not a herb can any more be found Than eastern scents or fragrant spices rare, To please the palate or perfume the hair ; Where e'en a cucumber must crooked lie ; A snake to coil its tail would vainly try. Such garden scarce one caterpillar feeds ; The willow-bed no second insect breeds ; The mole alone my farm does plough and digj No mushroom here can gape ; no early fig. Nor smiling violet, here has room to grow ; The devastated land a mouse lays low. More dreaded by the owner than of yore Was that huge beast the Calydonian boar. Aloft my crops are carried in the straw, Caught by the flying swallow's slender claw. Priapus here can scarce find room to stand, Though half his size, and reft of wooden brand. One snail-shell holds our yearly grain, and more ; In one pitch'd nut-shell all the wine we store. Lupus, your kindness by one letter err'd ; To call such gift a favour was absurd : Take back your farm ; more grateful far to me The savour that your kitchen yields, would be. English Journal of Education, Jan. 1856. XIX. TO GALLA. Do you ask, G-alla, why I am unwilling to marry you ? You are a prude ; and my passions frequently commit sole- cisms. Galla, dost ask why I'll not marry thee ? Galla, thou are too learned far for me. A consort so correct I cannot take : For I, as husband, oft shall solecisms make. Old Version. Anon, XX. TO HIS STRICTER READERS. O captious reader, who perusest with stern countenance certain Latin verses of mine, read six amorous lines of Au- gustus Caesar : — " Because Antonius kisses Glaphyra, Fulvia wishes me in revenge to kiss her. I kiss Fulvia ! What if Manius were to make a similar request ! ! Should I grant it ? I should think not, if I were in my senses. Either kiss me, BOOK XI.] EPIGRAMS. 509 says she, or fight me. Nay, my purity is dearer to me than life, therefore let the trumpet sound for battle ! " — Truly, Augustus, you acquit my sportive sallies of licentiousness, when you give such examples of Eoman simplicity. 'Cause Anthony is fir'd with Glaphire's charms. Fain would his Fulvia tempt me to her arms : If Anthony be false, what then ? must I Be slave to Fulvia's lustful tyranny ? Then would a thousand wanton, waspish wives Swarm to my bed like bees into their hives. Declare for Love or War, she said, and frown'd. No love I'll grant : to arms bid trumpets sound. Montaigne {by Cotton), B. ii. ch. 12, XXI. ON LTDIA. Lydia tarn laxa est, equitis quam cuius aeni ; Quam celer arguto qui sonat sere trochus ; Quam rota transmisso toties intacta petauro, Quam vetus a crassa calceus udus aqua ; Quam quae rara vagos expectant retia turdos, 1 Quam Pompeiano vela negata Noto ; Quam quae de phthisico lapsa est armilla cinsedo, Culcita Leuconico quam viduata suo ; Quam veteres brachse Britonis pauperis, et quam Turpe Eavennatis guttur onocrotali. Hanc in piscina dicor futuisse marina. Nescio : piscinam me futuisse puto. Lidia non e meno sfasciata che il culo d' una statua equestre di bronzo, che la veloce trottola che rombeggia per il sottil rame, che la ruota tante volte rattenuta per il petauro mandato in aria, che una vecchia Scarpa imbrattata d' acqua fangosa ; che le aperte reti, le quali aspettano i vaganti tordi, che le vela non piu esposte al Noto Pompejano, che un braccialetto che e cascato da un' etico cinedo, che il materazzo spogliato del suo Leuconico, che i vecchi calzoni d' un misero Bretanno, e che la turpe giugaja del Ravennate Onocrotale, Sono apostrofato d' aver immembrato costei nella piscina marina. Nol saprei ; parmi aver immembrato la piscina stessa. Graglia, XXII. ON AN ABANDONED DEBAUCHEE. Mollia quod nivei duro teris ore Gale si Basia, quod nudo cum Ganymede jaces ; 510 maetial's Quis negat hoc nimium ? sed sit satis : inguina saltern Parce fututrici sollicitare manu. Levibus in pueris plus hsec, quam mentula, peccat : Et faciunt digiti, praecipitantque virum. Inde tragus, celeresque pili, mirandaque matri Barba, nee in clara balnea luce placent. Divisit natura mares ; pars una puellis, Una viris genita est : utere parte tua. Di cio die tu distruggi coUa ruida tua faccia i molli bacci de^ niveo Galese, di cio che tu giaci con Ganimede ignudo, chi nega questo esser molto ? Ma cio ti basti : almeno rattienti sollicitare inguina manu fututrici» Hsec plus peccat in levibus pueris quam mentula, et digiti faciunt et preecipitant virum. Indi il tanfo, ed i subiti peli, e la barba dalla madre osservata, ne i bagni piacciono in cbiara luce. La natura distinse i maschi ; una parte fu fatta per le zitelle, ed una per gli uomini : fa uso della tua parte. Graglia. XXIII. AGAINST SILA. Sila is ready to become my wife at any price; but I am unwilling at any price to make Sila my wife. As she insisted, however, I said, "Tou shall bring me a million of sesterces in gold as a dowry" — What less could I take ? " Nor, although I become your husband, will I associate with you even on the first night, or at any time share a couch with you. I will also embrace my mistress without restraint; and you shall send me, if I require her, your own maid. Any favourite, whether my own or yours, shall be at liberty to give me amorous salutes even while you are looking on. You shall come to my table, but our seats shall be so far apart, that my garments be not touched by yours. Tou shall salute me but rarely, never without invitation ; and then not in the manner of a wife, but in that of a grandmother. If you can submit to this, and if there is nothing that you re- fuse to endure, you will find in me a gentleman, Sila, ready to take you to wife. Sila on any termes would me faine wed ; But I on all conditions fly her bed. When still she press'd, " Ten thousand pounds I crave," Sayd I, " for portion ; how can I less have ? Nor will I, no not the fii'st night, board thee ; Nor shall one bed e'er common to us bee. My wench I'll have too, ne'er by you gainsayed ; Nay, when I bid, you shall send your own mayd. ^ 1 BOOK XI.] EPIGEAMS. 511 In wanton kisses with the boy Pll twine ; You looking on, too, bee hee yours or mine. You shall eate with mee, but at distance, such As our loose roabes may not each other touch : Seldome shall kiss me, nor unbid ; so cold. Too, that, not like a wife, but matron old. If all this you can beare ; if nought refuse. Here you can find one you for wife may choose. Old MS. im. Cent. XXIV. TO LABITLLTJS. While I am attending you about, and escorting you home, while lending my ear to your chattering, and praising what- ever you say and do, how many verses of mine, Labullus, might have seen the light ! Does it seem nothing to you, that what Rome reads, what the foreigner seeks, what the knight willingly accepts, what the senator stores up, what the bar- rister praises, and rival poets abase, are lost through your fault ? Is this right, Labullus ? Can any one endure, that while you thus augment the number of your wretched clients, you proportionately diminish the number of my books ? In the last thirty days, or thereabouts, I have scarcely finished one page. See what befalls a poet who does not dine at home. While I attend thy steps early and late, Afi"ord an ear unto thy idle prate, Applaud whate'er by thee is done or said, How many excellent verses might be made ! This thou account' st no loss, although that Rome Reads them with joy, far nations bear them home ; Knights and patricians make them their delight, Lawyers admire, and poets also spight. And can I this digest ? That for thy sake. Only thy train more numerous to make. My books should fewer be ? So to engage, That scarce in thirty days I write one page ? But thus it is, for cheer when poets rome. And will not be content to sup at home. Anon. 1695. XXY. Q-^ LTNTJS. Ilia salax nimium, nee paucis nota puellis Stare Lino desit mentula : lingua cave. Quella troppo salace mentola, ne nota a poche ragazze, cessa stare a Lino : bada, o lingua. Graglia. 512 maetial's xxvi. to telesphoeijs. Charm of my life, Telespliorus, sweet object of my cares, whose like never before lay in my arms, give me, fair one, kisses redolent of the fragrance of old Talernian, give me goblets of which thy lips have first partaken. If, in addition to this, you grant me the pleasure of true affection, I shall say that Jove is not more happy at the side of G-anymede. XXYII. TO rLACCTJS. Ton must have an iron resolution, Placcus, if you can bestow your affection on a woman, who values herself at no more than half a dozen jars of pickle, or a couple of slices of tunny fish, or a paltry sea- lizard ; who does not think herself worth a bunch of raisins; who makes only one mouth- ful of a red herring, which a servant maid fetches in an earthenware dish; or who, with a brazen face and lost to shame, lowers her demand to five skins for a cloak. Why ! my mistress asks of me a pound of the most precious perfume, or a pair of green emeralds, or sardonyxes ; and will have no dress except of the very best silks from the Tuscan street ; nay, she would ask me for a hundred gold pieces with as little concern as if they were brass. Do you think that I wish to make such presents to a mistress ? JSIo, I do not : but I wish my mistress to be worthy of such presents. Thou'rt iron, Flaccus, if to such a dame, Who begs vile gifts, thou can'st keep up a flame ; Cow-heels does ask, tripes, sjjrats, and scraps of fish, And a whole pompion holds too much to wish : To whom her maid, joyful t' have got, does pour Cheap pulse, which greedily she does devour : And when she's bold, and will all shame depose, Begs yarn enough to knit a pair of hose. My wench perfumes exacts, both rich and rare, Rubies and pearls, and those must also pair ; Choice Naples silk, with her, will only pass, An hundred crowns in gold she begs like brass. Give I such gifts, dost say, a miss to please ? No : but I'd have her merit such as these. Anon. 1695. XXYIII. OF NASICA. Invasit medicum Nasica phreneticus, Aucte : Et percidit Hylan. Hie, puto, sanus erat. BOOE: XI.] EPIGEAMS. 613 Un medico frenetico, o Aucto, assali con la spada ed infilsso Ila. Ivi, credo, era sano. Graglia. XXIX. TO PHYLLIS. Languida cum vetula tractare virilia dextra Coepisti, jugulor poUice, Phylli, tuo. Nam cum me vitam, cum me tua lumina dicis : Horis me refici vix puto posse decem. Blanditias nescis : dabo, die, tibi millia centum, Et dabo Setini jugera culta soli : Accipe vina, domum, pueros, chr jsendeta, mensas : Nil opus est digitis ; sic mihi, Phylli, frica. Quando tu incominci colla vecchia tua destra a palpare le languide mie pudenda, io sono, o Fillide, assassinate dalle tue dita. Imperocche, quando tu mi chiami tua vita, tue luci : ho pena a cre- dere di poter in dieci ore esser d'umore : non t'intendi di carezze : di, ti daro cento milla sesterzj, e ti daro dei coltivati jugeri del suolo Setino : prendi vini, casa, servi, argenterie, mense : non oc- corre dita : solleticami, o Fillide, in questo modo. Graglia. When with caresses thou would'st me excite. All amorous pow'r thou dost extinguish quite : For when thou call'st me love, thy life, and dear, The surfeit I digest not in a year. These were due arts when thou wert young and fair ; Thou dost not know what aged toyings are. I give thee. Martial, say, ten thousand pound. My manor house, with all the fertile ground ; I give thee jewels, plate, whole caves of wine. These, without love tricks, will to love incline. Anon. XXX. TO ZOILIIS. Os male causidicis et dicis olere poetis : Sed fellatori, Zoile, pejus olet. Tu dici che la bocca sente cattivo ai causidici ed ai poeti ; ma al fellatore, o Zoilo, sente peggio. Graglia. XXXI. ON CiECILIUS. Csecilius, a very Atreus of gourds, tears and cuts them into a thousand pieces, just as if they were the children of Thyestes. Some of these pieces will be placed before you to begin with as a relish ; they will appear again as a second course ; then again as a third course. From some he will contrive a dessert ; from others the baker will make mawk- ish patties, cakes of every form, and dates such as are sold 2 L 514 maetial's at the theatres. By the art of the cook they are metamor- phosed into all sorts of mincemeat, so that you would fancy you saw lentils and beans on the table ; they are also made to imitate mushrooms and sausages, tails of tunnies and anchovies. This dextrous cook exhausts the powers of art to disguise them in every way, sometimes by means of Capellian rue.^ Thus he fills his dishes, and side dishes, and polished plates, and tureens, and congratulates himself upon his skill in furnishing so many dishes at the cost of a penny. Thou Atreus of a cucumber, Which, like Thyestes' sons, you tear, And in ten thousand pieces slice ; And in ten thousand ways disguise. This in your soup at first you use : And this in every course produce. Hence your confectioner still takes His jellies, sweetmeats, and his cakes ; Decking his dishes in a row Of high-raised pyramids for show. Your cook from this hath found the means To furnish us with pease and beans; And by his magic art create A mushroom, sausage, cod, or scate. Your house-keeper, as far as can go Her seasoning art, turns this to mango. Thus you, who fill by this device Your dishes of all sorts and size. Would modest and polite be thought By serving up one single groat. Hay. XXXII. TO NESTOR. You have neither a toga, nor a hearth, nor a bed infested with vermin, nor a patched rug of marsh reeds, nor a slave young or old, nor a maid, nor a child, nor a lock, nor a key, nor a house-dog, nor a wine-cup. Yet, JSTestor, you desire to be thought and called a poor man, and wish to be counted as such among the people. You are a deceiver, and do your- self too much idle honour. To have nothing is not poverty .^ ' So called from Capellius, who cultivated or sold it. The common reading, rutce CapelUance, is followed ; Schneidewin, without any appar- ent reason, has Capelliana. Rue was used far garnishing dishes ; see Ep.52. * It is worse ; it is mere beggary. BOOK XI.] EPiaEAMS. 515 When thou hast neither coat, nor fire, nor bed That's eat with worms, nor mat with sedge patch'd up, Nor boy, nor man, nor maid, nor infant head. Nor lock with thee, nor key, nor dog, nor cup. Yet thou affectest to be call'd and seem Poor, and to have a popular esteem. \ Thou liest : thou soothest thyself with vanity ; Nestor, this is not want, but beggery. Fletcher. XXXIII. OK THE CHAHIOTEEE OF THE " GREEN " EACTIOJf. Since the death of Nero the charioteer of the Green Fac- tion has often won the palm, and carried off many prizes. Gro novt^, malicious envy, and say that you were influenced by Nero ; for now assuredly the charioteer of the Green Paction, not Nero, has won these victories. XXXIV. Olf APER. Aper has bought a house ; but such a house, as not even an owl would inhabit ; so dark and old is the little dwelling. But near it the elegant Maro has his country seat, and Aper will dine weU, though he will not be well lodged.^ Aper a cottage bought, which not an owl Would deign to own, it was so old and fowle. But Maro's sumptuous house and walkes excell. Aper will richly fare, not richly dwell. May. Jack buys an ancient cottage, dismal, foul, And scarce a decent harbour for an owl, Near to an hospitable neighbour's seat. Jack wiU not lodge so well as he will eat. Hay. XXXV. TO EABULLTJS. Tou invite some three hundred guests all unknovm to me, and then wonder that I do not accept your invitation, and complain, and are ready to quarrel with me. Fabullus, I do not like to dine alone. That I your invitation should decline. Why do you wonder ? why do yo^ repine ? When hundreds you invite to me unknown : I do not choose, dear friend, to dine alone. Hay. With a room full, to me all unknown, You bid me make one at your feast ; I decline it, you grumble and groan. And call me unsociable beast, — * Aper expects his rich neighbour to invite him frequently to dinner. 2 L 2 516 maetial's Why since I must dine quite alone, ' I'll dine by myself, sir, at least. N. B. Halhed. You ask a hundred guests unkno-wn to me, And wonder, Richard, I refuse to come : Richard, I go abroad for company, For solitude I like to stay at home. Hodgson. XXXVI. o:n- caius jtjlius peocttltis. mark this day for me with a white stone, Caius Julius having been restored (how delightful !) to my prayers. I re- joice to have despaired as though the threads of the sisters had already been snapped asunder ; that joy is but little where there has been no fear. Hypnus, why do you loiter ? Pour out the immortal Ealernian ; such fulfilment of my prayers demands an old cask. Let us drink five, six, and eight cups, answering to the letters in the names Caius, Julius, and Proculus.^ Hail, happy day ! my Julius, hail, restored ! Hail, gracious heav'n, who heard'st when I implored ! Despair proves hope, the fatal scissors near : The less they know of joy who knew no fear. Hypnus, why loiter'st ? pour Falemian wine : Such blessings pour'd demand a cask divine. Five, six, and eight fair brimmers shall be crown'd, And Caius Julius Proculus go round. Elphinston. XXXVII. TO ZOILTJS. Zoilus, why do you delight in using a whole pound weight of gold for the setting of a stone, and thus burying your poor sardonyx ? Such rings are more suited to your legs ; ^ the weight is too great for fingers. Why, Zoilus, dost thou bury, not enfold, A diamond spark in a whole pound of gold ? When late a slave, this ring thy leg might wear, But such a weight thy finger cannot bear. Anon. XXXVIII. TO AULTJS. A muleteer was lately sold for twenty thousand sesterces, Aulus. Are you astonished at so large a price ? He was deaf.^ 1 See B. i. Ep. 72. 2 gee B. iii. Ep. 29. ^ He could not therefore overhear the conversation of those whom he drove. BOOK XI.] EPIGEAMS. 517 XXXIX. TO CHAEIDEMUS, HIS FEEEDMAN. You, Cliaridemus, rocked my cradle; you were the guardian and constant companion of my childhood. Now my beard, when shaved, blackens the barber's napkins, and my mistress complains of being pricked by my bristly lips. But in your eyes I am no older ; you are my bailiff's dread ; my steward and all the household fear you. You neither allow me to play nor to make love ; nothing is permitted to me, yet everything to yourself. You rebuke me, you watch me, you complain of me, and sigh at my conduct, and your ire is with difficulty restrained from using the cane. If I put on a Tyrian robe, or anoint my hair, you exclaim, " Your father never did such things." You count my cups of wine with contracted brow, as if they came from a cask in your own cellar. Cease this conduct : I cannot abide a Cato in a freedman. My mistress will tell you that I am now a man. You were for ever by my infant side ; My guardian, my companion, and my guide. The razor now grows blunt against my beard 5 And every girl complains that it is hard. "With you I am but little master still : And all my servants tremble at your will. To game or to intrigue I must not dare : All things to you, to me none, lawful are. You check, remark, complain, and cry " Good God ! '* And in your passion scarce forbear the rod. If my toupee or velvet I put on ; You say. Oh ! how unlike your father gone ! You count each bumper with a serious look ; As if from your own vault the wine I took. Such censure I no longer suffer can : Pray, ask my maid if I am not a man. Hay. You rock'd my cradle, were my guide In youth, still tending at my side ; But now, dear Sir, my beard is grown, Still I'm a child to thee alone. Our steward, butler, cook, and all You fright, nay e'en the very wall ; You pry, and frown, and growl, and chide, And scarce will lay the rod aside. F. Lewis. 518 maetial's XL. ON LUPEECUS. Lupercus loves the fair G-lycera ; he possesses her all to himself, and is her sole commander. Once, when he was com- plaining to ^lianns, in a sad tone, that he had not caressed her for a whole month, and wished to give the reason to his auditor, who asked for it, he told him that Glycera had the tooth-ache. XLI. Olf AMYNTAS, A SWIT^EHERD, KILLED BY A FALL EEOM AN OAK. While the swineherd Amyntas was over-anxiously feeding his flock, prond of its renown for high condition, his weight proved too much for the yielding branch of an oak which he had ascended, and he was precipitated to the ground in the midst of a shower of acorns, which he had shaken down. His father would not allow the fatal tree to survive the cruel death of his son, and condemned it to the flames. Lygdus,^ let your neighbour lolas fatten his pigs as he pleases ; and be content to preserve your full number. XLII. TO CiECILTANUS. You ask for lively epigrams, and propose lifeless subjects. "What can I do, C^ecilianus ? You expect Hyblsean or Hy- methian honey to be produced, and yet offer the Attic bee no- thing but Corsican thyme ? You lively epigrams require still, when You give flat themes ; how can you have them then ? Think you that e'en Cecropian bees can breed Hyblsean honey, that in Corsic feed? Old MS. \Qth Cent When living epigrams thou crav'st of me, Thou giv'st dead arguments. How can that be ? How canst thou have Hymittian honey flow, And Corsick thyme t' Athenian bees ailow ? May. Alas ! dear sir, you try in vain Impossibilities to gain ; No bee from Corsica's rank juice Hybla^an honey can produce. F. Lewis. Motto to the lOlst No. of the Ramhler ' Martial's swine-herd. BOOK XI.] EPIGEAMS. 519 XLIII. TO HIS WIFE. Deprensum in puero tetricis me vocibus uxor Corripis, et culum te quoque habere refers. Dixit idem quoties lascivo Juno tonanti ? lUe tamen gracili cum Granymede jacet. Incurvabat Hylam posito Tirynthius arcu. Tu Megaram credis non babuisse nates ? Torquebat Phoebum Dapbne fugitiva : sed illas Oebalius flammas jussit abire puer. Eryseis multum quamvis aversa jaceret, JSacidse propior levis amicus erat. Parce tuis igitur dare mascula nomina rebus Teque puta cunnos, uxor, habere duos ! Tu, moglie, con arrabbiate parole rimbrotti me sorpreso nel ra- gazzo, ed adduci che anche tu hai il c-lo. Quante volte Giunone non disse lo stesso a Giove Tonante ? Con tutto cio esso giace col delicato Ganimede. Tirinzio, deposto I'arco incurvava Ila ; credi tu che Megara non avesse natiche ? Dafne fuggitiva tormentava Febo : ma il ragazzo Oebalio fece partire quelli amori. Briseide quantun- que giacesse molto aversa, il delicato amico era confaciente ad Eacide. Risparmia dunque dar nomi mascolini alle cose tue, ed immaginati, o moglie, d'aver due c-ni ! Graglia. Fletcher has given a complete translation of these lines, and so have several of the French editors, but we think them better omitted here. XLIT. TO A CHILDLESS OLD MAN". Ton are childless and rich, and were born in the consulship of Brutus ; do you imagine that you have any real friends ? Tou have true friends, but they are those which you made when young and poor. Tour new friends desire only your death. Now thou are childless, rich, 'hove measure old, The love profess'd to thee, sincere dost hold ? True love I have found. Yes, when young and poor; Who loved thee now, do love thy death much more. Anon. 1695. 520 maetial's What ! old, and rich, and childless too, And yet believe your friends are true ? Truth might perhaps of old belong To those who loved you poor and young ; But, trust me, for the friends you have, They'll love you dearly — in your grave. F. Lewis. 3Iotto to the \Q2nd Rambler Childless, and rich, and born in Charles's reign, Can you expect that cordial friends remain ? If such ; they are, whom young and poor you found : The new will love you only under ground. Hay. Childless, and rich, and old, and hope to find A real friend ? Disorder'd is thy mind. That heav'n-born light, which never long endures In youth, in poverty, perchance, was yours. But all your present friends, whate'er they say, Love but your death, and curse its slow delay. Hodgson, XLV. TO CA:PfTHAEUS. Intrasti quoties inscripiae limina cellsB, Seu puer arrisit, sive puella tibi : Contentus non es foribus, veloque, seraque, Secretumque jubes grandius esse tibi. Oblinitur minimae si qua est suspicio rimae, Punctaque lasciva quae terebrantur acu. Nemo est tarn teneri, tarn solicitique pudoris, Qui vel psedicat, Canthare, vel futuit. Sempre che entrasti i limini d'un' inscritta cella, o un ragazzo, o sia una putella t'arrise ; tu non sei content© degli usci chiusi, e della cortina, e della seratura : ma vuoi avere un cabinetto piii recondito. Se v' e qualche sospetto d'una menoma fessura, si copre : cosi pure i buchi che sono vergolati con un lascivo calamistro. Nessuno e d'un cosi delicato e soUecito pudore, sia chi pedica, o Cantaro, o chi immembra. Graglia. XLYI. TO M^VIFS. Jam Disi per somnum non arrigis, et tibi, Masvi, Incipit in medios meiere verpa pedes, Truditur et digitis pannucea mentula lassis, Nee levat extinctum sollieitata caput. Quid miseros frustra cunnos, culosque lacessis ? Summa petas : illic mentula vivit anus. BOOK XI.] EPIGRAMS. 521 Di gia non arrigi piii che in sogno, ed il tuo pene, o Mevio, in- commincia pisciarti fra i piedi e la languida mentola e provocata dalle stanche dita, ne sollecitata rizza Testinto capo. A che inutil- mente importuni i poveri c-ni, e c-li ? Va in alto : cola una vecchia mentola vive. Graglia. XLVII. O^ LATTAEA. Why does Latfcara avoid all the baths which are frequented by women ? That he may not be exposed to temptation. Why does he neither promenade in the shade of Pompey's portico, nor seek the temple of the daughter of Inachus ? That he may not be exposed to temptation. Why does he bathe in the cold Virgin water, and anoint himself with Spartan wrestler's oil? That he may not be exposed to temptation. Seeing that Lattara thus avoids all temptation of the female sex, what can be his meaning ? XLYIII. ON SILIITS ITALICUS. Silius, who possesses the lands that once belonged to the eloquent Cicero, celebrates funeral obsequies at the tomb of the great Yirgil. There is no one that either Virgil or Cicero would have preferred for his heir, or as guardian of his tomb and lands. XLIX. ON THE SAME. There remained but one man, and he a poor one,^ to honour the nearly deserted ashes, and revered name, of Virgil. Silius determined to succour the cherished shade ; Silius, a poet, not inferior^ to Virgil himself, consecrated the glory of the bard. To honour Maro's dust, and sacred shade, One swain remained, deserted, poor, alone. Till Silius came his pious toils to aid. In homage to a name scarce greater than his own. Amos, L. TO PHYLLIS. Not an hour of the day, Phyllis, passes that you do not plunder me, such is the infatuation of my love for you, so great your cunning in the art of robbery. Sometimes ^ It appears that there was a cenotaph in honour of Virgil, which some poor man was paid to keep \ip, and that Silius Italicus purchased the ground on which it stood. The site of it is uncertain. 2 We read non mmor, with the common editions, not minus, with Sclmeidewin. 522 maetial's your artful maid bewails tlie loss of your rairror, or a ring drops off your finger, or a precious stone from your ear. Sometimes contraband silk dresses are to be bad cbeap ■ sometimes a scent casket is brougbt to me empty. At one time I am asked for an ampbora of old Palernian, to reward tbe cbattering wise-woman wbo explains your dreams ; at another, your ricb friend has invited berself to sup with you, and I must buy you a great pike or a mullet of two pounds' weight. Have «some sense of decency, I entreat you, and some respect for right and justice. I deny you nothing, Phyllis : deny me, Phyllis, nothing. There's not an hour, my Phyllis, in the day, But you contrive to make my fondness pay. Your maid, an artful slut, now cries, " Alas ! What shall I do ? I've broke my lady's glass ! " Then Phylhs comes herself, in tears, poor thing ! And tells me she has lost her favourite ring, Or dropp'd perchance, a diamond from her locket : — Then, a new piece of silk must pick my pocket. Behold her next her essence-box produce, "Which wants some rich perfume, or eau-de-luce, Now an old hag, pretending to divine, And solve her dreams, must have some old tent-wine, I then for fish the market must explore, Some demirep will dine with us at four. But, pry thee, PhylHs, pay some small regard To justice, and my generous flame reward: Since I refuse you nothing, how can you Thus pick my pocket, and refuse me too ? Rev. R. Graves. LI. ON TITITJS. Tanta est quae Titio columna pendet. Quantum Lampsaciae colunt puellae. Hie nullo comitante, nee molesto, Thermis grandibns, et suis lavatur : Anguste Titius tamen lavatur. Si grande e la colonna che pende a Tizio, quanto quella che le zitelle Lampsiache venerano. Costui senza compagno ne molestato si lava nelle sue ampie terme : contutto cio Tizio si lava angusta- mente. Graylia. LII. INYITATIOlSr TO JULIUS CEREALIS. You may have a good dinner, Julius Cerealis, with me ; if you have no better engagement, come. You may keep your BOOK XI.] EPIGEAMS. 523 own hour, the eightli ; ^ we will go to the bath together ; you know how near the baths of Stephanus are to my house. Lettuce will first be set before you, a plant useful as a laxative, and leeks cut into shreds ; next tunny-fish, full grown, and larger than the slender eel, which will be garn- ished with egg and leaves of rue. 'Nor will there be wanting eggs lightly poached, and cheese hardened on a Yelabrian hearth ; ^ nor olives which have experienced the cold of a Picenian winter. These ought to be sufficient to whet the appetite. Do you want to know what is to follow ? I will play the braggart, to tempt you to come : There will be Pish, oysters, sow's teats, well-fattened tame and wild-fowl ; dain- ties which not even Stella,^ except on rare occasions, is used to place before his guests. I promise you still more : I will recite no verses to you ; while you shall be at liberty to read to me again your ""War of the Griants," or your Greorgics, second only to those of the immortal Yirgil. ( Trimly to sup, Julius, I thee invite : If better be not offer'd, come to-night. We'll bathe together ; at six o'clock be here, Nero's baths, to my house, you know, are near. Melons and figs, for ante-past, I'll serve, Other ragalios which are deem'd to have The grateful properties health to preserve. And quicken appetite. If you ask, what more ? I'll lie, to make you come. Oysters, wild boar, Choice fatted fowl ta'en from the coop or pens ; Those nobler yet, that range the woods and fens : Such as ev'n Stella rarely does afi'ord. Though altogether princely is his board. I'll promise more, no verses I'll recite : To hear yours read I'll dedicate the night. Your giant's war, your art of tilhng fields, Which not in worth t' immortal Virgil's yields. Anon. 1695. LIII. 01^ CLAUDIA EUFINA. Although born among the blue-eyed Britons, how fully has Claudia Eufina the intelligence of the Eoman people ! What beauty is hers ! The matrons of Italy might take her for a E/oman ; those of Attica for an Athenian. The gods ^ Two o'clock in the afternoon. ' On dried cheese; see B. xii. Ep. 32. ' The poet ; see B. viii. Ep. 78. 524 MAETIAL S 5red T have kindly ordered that she proves fruitful to her revered husband, and that, while yet young, she may hope for sons- in-law and daughters-in-law ! May heaven grant her ever to rejoice in one single husband, and to exult in being the mother of three children. Though British skies first beam'd on Claudia's face, Her beauty far outvies the Latin race : E'en Grecian nymphs her form cannot excel, Or Roman matrons play the queen so weU. Ye powers, how bless'd must her possessor be! What progeny will climb the mother's knee ! Kind heaven, grant her constant love to share, And may three boys reward her tender care. Westininster Review, April, 1853 LIV. TO ZGILTJS. Empty your pockets, rascally Zoilus, of those perfumes, and that lavender, and myrrh redolent of funerals, and half- burned frankincense, snatched from the midst of pyres, and cinnamon stolen from Stygian biers. It is from your feet, I suppose, that your hands have learned to be knavish. I do not wonder at a fellow being a thief, who was a runaway slave. ^ LT. TO TJEBICUS, ON" LUPUS, A KlfAYISH TLATTEEER. When Lupus exhorts you, LTrbicus, to become a father, do not believe that he means what he says ; there is nothing that he desires less. It is part of the art of flattery to seem to wish what you do not wish. He earnestly desires that you may not do what he begs you to do. Were your Cosconia but to say that she is pregnant. Lupus would grow paler than a woman when her hour is come. But, that you may seem to have adopted the advice of your friend, die in such a way that he may imagine you have really become a father. Ned prays, that heaven may you with issue bless : Believe him not : nothing he wishes less. To wish what he dislikes is fawning art : And when he speaks, his tongue belies his heart. Let but your lady feel a breeding throe, Ned will look pale, as he were breeding too. Yet with a friend's desire so far comply ; That he may think you did not childless die. Hay. 1 See B. ill. Ep. 29. BOOK XI.] EPIGEAMS. 525 LYI. TO CH^EEMOK. "When you extol death in such extravagant terms, Stoic Chaeremon, you wish me to admire and respect your spirit. Such magnanimity arises from your possession of only a pitcher with a broken handle, a cheerless hearth, warmed with no fire, a mat, plenty of fleas, a bare bedstead, and a short toga that serves you both night and day. How great a man you are, that can think of abandoning dregs of red vinegar, and straw, and black bread. But let your cushions swell with Leuconian wool, and soft purple covers adorn your couches ; and let a favourite share your couch, who, when mixing the Caecuban wine for j^our guests, tortures them with the ruddiest of lips, how earnestly then will you desire to live thrice as long as Nestor ; and study to lose no part ot a single day ! In adversity it is easy to despise life ; the truly brave man is he who can endure to be miserable. That thou, Cheraemon, death dost oft desire Thou would'st have us thy stoic mind admire. This high resolve comes from an earelesse pot, A chimney without fire to keep it hot, A bedsted eat with wormes, rugs coarse and light, One short bare gown to weare both day and night. How brave a man art thou canst leave such geere As straw, coarse bread, and lees of vinegar ! But if a woven purple coverled, And fine french lawne adorn'd thy downy bed, Hadst thou a girl, whose rosie lips would fire. As wine she fills the lustfuU guests desire : Then thou to live thrice Nestor's years would'st pray, And would'st not lose an houre of any day. In poore estate 'tis easie scorning death ; Valiant is he dares draw a wretched breath. May. LVII. TO SEVEEUS. Do you wonder, learned Severus, that I send you verses when I ask you to dine with me ? Jupiter lives luxuriously on ambrosia and nectar ; and yet we propitiate him with raw entrails and plain wine. Seeing that by the favour of heaven every blessing is yours, what can be offered you, if you are unwilling to receive what you already have ? LYIIT. TO TELESPHOEUS. Cum me velle vides, tentumque, Telesphore, sentis; Magna rogas : puto me velle negare nihil ? 526 maetial's Et nisi juratus dixi, daho, subtrahis illas, Permittunt in me qu8D tibi multa, nates. Quid si me tonsor, cum stricta novacula supra est, Tunc libertatem, divitiasque roget ? Promittam : nee enim rogat illo tempore tonsor, Latro rogat : res est imperiosa timor. Sed fuerit curva cum tuta novacula theca, Prangam tonsori crura manusque simul. At tibi nil faciam : sed lota mentula lasva A£tx;a<^£iv cupidse dicet avaritise. O Telesforo, quando tu vedi ch' io voglio, e mi senti teso ; dimandi cose eccessive : m'immagino io potertele negare ? Tu, se io non ' con giuramento detto, daro, sottrai quelle natiche, che ti permettono molto contro di me. Che sarebbe se il mio barbiere, quando, im- pugnato ilrasojo, sta sopra di me, mi dimandasse allora la liberta, e ricchezze ? Prometterei : imperocche, in detto tempo non dimanda come barbiere, ma dimanda come ladro ; il timore e una cosa im- periosa. Ma quando il rasojo sarebbe sicuro nel curvo stucchio, romperei le gambe, ed anche le braccia al barbiere. A te pero faro niente : ma la mentola, lavata la sinistra dira, cbiudero la bocca dell' anziosa tua avarizia. Graglia. When with desire you see me rack'd, The beggar's part you always act ; And if I grant not on the spot Whate'er you ask, you '11 kiss me not. Suppose my barber, steel in hand, Should liberty and wealth demand, I yield of course, for he is then No barber, but a highwayman. But, when his razor 's in its case, I 'd have him flogg'd till black in the face. And you, though you may think it odd. When I 've kissed you, shall kiss my rod. W. S. B. LIX. OS CLEARIIS^US. Clearinus wears six rings on each of his fingers, and never takes them off, even at night, or when he bathes. Do you ask the reason ? He has no ring-case.^ Six rings on every finger Vainlove keeps : In them he goes to stool ; in them he sleeps. If you are curious, and the cause would trace ; It is because he did not hire the case. Hay. * He has his rings on hire. BOOK XI.] EPiaEAMS. 527 LX. OlS" CHIONE AIS^D PHLOGIS. Sit Phlogis, an Chione veneri magis apta requiris. Pulchrior est Chione ; sed Phlogis ulcus habet ? Ulcus habet, Priami quod tendere possit alutam, Quodque senem Pylium non sinat esse senem. Ulcus habet, quod habere suam vult quisque puellam ; Quod sanare Criton, non quod Hygeia potest. At Chione non sentit opus, nee vocibus illis Adjuvat : absentem, marmoreamque putes. Exorare, Dei, si vos tarn magna liceret, Et bona velletis tarn pretiosa dare : Hoc quod habet Chione corpus, faceretis haberet Ut Phlogis ; et Chione, quod Phlogis ulcus habet. Dimandi tu se Flogide o Chione sia piu atta a Venere ? Chione e piu bella ; ma Flogide ha un' ulcera. Un ulcera, che potrebbe tendere il nervo a Priamo, e che non permetterebbe che il vecchio Pilio fosse vecchio. Ha un' ulcera, che ogn' uno vorebbe che la sua innamorata I'avesse : che Critone puo sanare, che Igeianonpuo, Ma chione non sente stimolo, ne con veruna parola lo nudrisce : la crederesti astratta e di marmo. O Dei, se fosse permesso supplicarvi per cose si grandi, e voleste darci beni tanto preziosi : fareste che Flogide avesse quel corpo che ha Chione : o Chione I'ulcera che ha Flogide. Graglia. LXI. OK MANNEIUS. Lingua maritus, mcechus ore, Manneius, Summoenianis inquinatior buccis : Quern cum fenestra vidit a Suburana Obsccena nudum lena, fornicem claudit. Mediumque mavult basiare, quam summum : Modo qui per omnes viscerum tubos ibat, Et voce certa, consciaque dicebat, Puer, an puella matris esset in ventre ; (Graudete cunni, vestra nam que res acta est) Arrigere linguam non potest fututricem. Nam, dum tumenti mersus haeret in vulva, Et vagientes intus audit infantes. Partem gulosam solvit indecens morbus, Nee purus esse nunc potest, nee impurus. Mannejo e marito colla lingua, adultero colla bocca, piu sporco delle bocche Summeniane: il quale quando-l'oscena raeretrice lo vede dalla Suburana finestra chiude lo scamiciato lupanario. Ama 528 maetial's meglio bacciare al mezzo che all' alto : che poco fa entrava per tutti i tubi delle viscere, e con certa e consapevole asserzione diceva, se era un mascMo o una femina nel ventre della madre ; (Rallegratevi c-ni, attesoche le vostre facende sono rassettate) rimmembratrice lingua non puo arrigere. Imperocche, mentre sta immerso nella tumente vulva, e dentro sente i vagienti bambini, un' indecente morbo struge la parte golosa : ne ora puo esser puro, ne impuro. Graglia, LXII. OS LESBIA. Lesbia protests that no one has ever obtained her favours without payment. That is true ; when she wants a lover, she herself pays. Lesbia ne'er gratis sports, she says : 'Tis true ; for when she sports, she pays. Old Version. LXIII. TO PHILOMTJSTJS. Spectas nos, Philomuse, cum lavamur, Et quare mihi tarn mutoniati Sint leves pueri, subinde quseris. Dicam simpliciter tibi roganti : Pasdicant, Philomuse, curiosos. Filomuso, tu ci osservi quando ci laviamo ; ed indi dimandi perche io abbia dei teneri ragazzi tanto mentolati. Te lo diro candidamente poiche '1 cerchi ; o Filomuso, essi pedicano i curiosi. Graglia. LXIV. TO PAUSTTJS. 1 do not know, Faustus, what it is that you write to so many girls. But this I know, that no girl writes anything to you. We know not why you for the fair So many billet-doux prepare ; But this we know : A billet-doux No fair one ever penn'd for you. Anon. LXV. TO JUSTINTJS. Six hundred people are invited to dine with you, Justinus, to celebrate the day on which you first saw the light ; and amongst these, I remember, I used once not to be the last ; nor was my position attended with envy. But your intention now is to offer me the honours of your festive board to-morrow; to-day you have a birth-day for the hundreds, to-morrow you will have one for me. BOOK XI.] EPIGEAMS. , 529 Justin, upon thy solemn birth-day feast, No fewer than six hundred were thy guest : Among the which, times past, I had the grace To hold, unenvy'd, no inferior place : But now, to th' relics of the second day, If so I like, to be thy guest I may. Unto six hundred born, to-day, then be, To-morrow first thou shalt be born to me. Anon. LXVT. TO YACEEEA. You are an informer, a calumniator, a forger, a secret agent, a slave to the unclean, and a trainer of gladiators. I wonder, Yacerra, why you have no money. Thou art a slanderer and delator, False dealer, pimp, and fornicator : Where such rare parts and trades are found, I wonder much, thy purse does not abound. Anon. You an informer are, and a back-biter ; A common sharper, and a hackney writer ; A whore-master, and master of defence ; Jack of all trades ; strange ! that you want the pence ! Kay. LXYII. TO MAEO. You give me nothing while you are living ; you say that you will give me something at your death. If you are not a fool, Maro, you know what I desire. Maro, you'll give me nothing while you live, But after death you cry then, then you'll give : If thou art not indeed turn'd arrant ass. Thou know'st what I desire to come to pass. Fletcher. Alive you give me nought, you say you will At death : you know my wish, if you have skill. 3fay. You nothing give me now : when you expire You promise all. — You know what I desire. Hai/. LXYITI. TO MATHO. You ask but small faYours of your great friends; yet your great friends refuse you even small favours. That you may feel less ashamed, Matho, ask great favours. An ensign's post you ask ; and that's denied : Ask for a colonel's ; less 'twill hurt your pride. Hay. 2 H 530 martial' s LXIX. EPITAPH 01^ A HOIFKD FAMED LTDIA. Nurtured among the trainers of the amphitheatre, bred up for the chace, fierce in the forest, gentle in the house, I was called Lydia, a most faithful attendant upon my master Dexter, who would not have preferred to me the hound of Erigone, or the dog which followed Cephalus from the land of Crete, and was translated with him to the stars of the light-bringing goddess. I died, not of length of years, nor of useless old age, as was the fate of the hound of Ulysses ; I was killed by the fiery tooth of a foaming boar, as huge as that of Calydon or that of Erymanthus. Nor do I complain, though thus prematurely hurried to the shades below ; I could not have died a nobler death. I trained was, by masters of the game, r the field no hound more fierce, i' the house more tame ; Lydia my name, my owner's right hand held, Erigone's dog not me in faith excell'd, Nor Lelaps yet, for whose great truth 'tis told, By Jove among the stars he was enrolled. Like Argus a long life I did not spend In sloth, by useless age brought to my end : But the fierce tusks of an enraged boar. Like that of Calydon, my entrails tore. Nor of my early death do I complain, A nobler fate I could no way sustain. Anon' LXX. TO TIJCCA. Can you, Tucca, sell these slaves whom you bought for a hundred thousand sesterces a-piece ? Can you sell the weeping despots of your aff'ections, Tucca ? Do neither their caresses nor their words and untutored lamentations move you 'r ^ If a quantity of hard cash is your obj ect, sell your plate, your tables, your myrrhine vases, your estate, your house. Sell your old slaves, sell too your hereditary lands ; sell everything, wretched man, to avoid selling your young favourites. It was extravagance to buy them ; who denies or doubts it ? — but it is far greater extravagance to sell them.'-* 1 Ah facinus ! tunica patet inguen utrinque levata, Inspiciturque tua mentula facta manu. 2 Comp. B. ii. Ep. 63. BOOK XI.] EPIGEAMS. 531 LXXI. Olf LEDA. Hystericam vetulo se dixerat esse marito, Et queritur futui Leda necesse sibi : Sed flens, atque gemens tanti negat esse salutem, Seque refert potius proposuisse mori. Yir rogat ut vivat, virides nee deserat annos, Et fieri, quod jam non facit ipse, sinit. Protinus accedunt medici, medicaeque recedunt, Tollunturque pedes : medicina gravis ! Leda disse al suo vecchio marito che era isterica, e si lagnava aver necessita d'esser immembrata : ma piangendo, e gemendo non vuole che la sua salute gli costi tanto, e disse che s'era piutosto de- terminata a morire. II marito la prega che viva, ne perda i giovenili suoi anni ; e permette che si faccia cid ch' esso piu non puo. Tn- contanente i medici s'accostano, e le mediche s'allontanano, i piedi sono alzati in alto ; oh la dispiacevol medicina ! Graglia. Laeda complain'd to her old man that she "Was chok'd up in her womb, and cured must be, But weeps and whines her health's not so much worth, And rather choose to die than thus hold forth. The poor man begs her live, her youth run on, And what he could not suffers to be done. Hence male physicians come, and female fly A clyster then : O mighty remedy ! Fletcher. LXXII. ON NATA. Drauci Natta sui vocat pipinnam, CoUatus cui G-allus est Priapus. Nata chiama pipinna quella del suo dranco, alia quale Priapo con frontato e un Gallo. Graglia. LXXIII. TO LTGDUS. Yenturum juras semper mihi, Lygde, roganti, Constituisque horam, constituisque locum. Cum frustra jacui longa prurigine tentus, Succurrit pro te ssepe sinistra mihi. Quid precer, o fallax, mentis, et moribus istis ? Umbellam luscse, Lygde, feras dominas. Ligdo, sempre prometti a me richiedente di venire, e fissi I'ora e 1 luogo. Quando teso da una lunga prurigine ho inutilmente giaciuto, sovvente in vece tua la destra mia suplisce. Che t'au- 2m2 532 maetial's gurero, o traditore, per questi tuoi meriti e costumi ? Che tu, o Ligdo, pcrti rombrella della lusca signora. Graglia. LXXIY. O^ BACCAEA. Curandum penem commisit Baccara grsecus Hivali medico ; Baccara Grallus erit. Baccara Greco confide al medico suo rivale il pene accio 1 curasse : Baccara diverra Gallo. Graglia. LXXT. TO C^LIA. Theca tectus aenea lavatur Tecum, Caelia, fervus. Ut quid, oro, Non sit cum citharoedus, aut choraules ? Non vis, ut puto, mentulam videre. Quare cum populo lavaris ergo ? Omnes an tibi nos sumus spadones ? Ergo, ne videaris invidere. Servo, Cselia, fibulam remitte. II tuo servo, o Celia, si lava teco, coperto con uno stucchio di rame. A che questo, ti prego, non essendo ne chitaredo, o suonator di piffaro ? Non vuoi, come penso, vedergli la mentola. Perche dunque ti lavi tu col popolo ? Ti siamo noi forse tutti spadoni ? Dunque, affinche tu non paja che t'invidiamo, togli via, o Celia, la fibula al servo. Graglia. LXXVI. TO PACTTTS. Tou oblige me to pay you eighty pounds, Pactus, because Bucco has occasioned you the loss of sixteen hundred. Let me not, I pray you, suffer for faults not my own. It is rather for you, who can support the loss of sixteen hundred, to submit to that of eighty. Ten pounds, I owe, you call for in a pet, Because Tom broke two hundred in your debt. Hard ! I should bear the faults of other men ; You, who could lose two hundred, pray lose ten. Hay, LXXVII. O^ YACEEEA. Vacerra, while passing his hours in everybody's dining- room, and sitting there all day long, desires not to empty his belly, but to fill it} ^ Compescendae alvi gratia sedere, et remanere, se fingebat, ut invitaretur cum coena essit instructa. BOOK XI.] EPIGEAMS. 533 LXXYIII. TO YICTOE. TJtere foemineis complexibus, utere Victor, Ignotumque sibi mentula discat opus. Flammea texuntur sponsae, jam virgo parata est : Tondebit pueros jam nova nupta tuos. Paedicare semel cupido dabit ilia marito, Dum metuit teli vulnera prima novi. Saspius boc fieri nutrix, materque vetabunt, Et dicent, uxor, non puer, ista tihi est. Heu quantos aestus, quantos patiere labores, Si fuerit cunnus res peregrina tibi ! Ergo SuburanaD tironem trade magistrae. Ilia virum faciet : non bene virgo docet. Fa uso, o Vittore, fa uso dei feminei amplessi, e la mentoia imparl I'opra ad essa ignota. Le spose sono coperte con veli, di gia la vergine e preparata : subbito la nuova maritata tosera i tuoi ragazzi. Essa dara una volta da pedicare all' avido marito, mentre teme le prime ferite del nuovo strale. La nutriee e la madre vieteranno che cio si facia troppo sovvente, e diranno questa ti e moglie, non ra- gazzo. Oh quanti furori e quanti stenti se il c-no sara a te cosa nuova ! Dunque consegnati qual novizo ad una Suburana maestra. Quella ti fara esperto : una vergine insegna cio malamente. Graglia. LXXIX. TO PAETUS, Q-^ THE SLOWNESS OF HIS MULES. Eor arriving only at tbe first milestone after nine hours' travelling, I am charged with idleness and inactivity. The fault is not mine, I assure you, but your own, in sending me such mules, Paetus. From Kew to town four hours I spent : you rail, As if I travell'd slower than a snail. The road was good : not I, but you, to blame, Who sent the equipage in which I came. Hay. LXXX. TO ELACCTJS, AT BAIJ3. Though, Flaccus, I were to praise Baiae, golden shore of the blessed Venus, Baiae, kind gift of Nature who is proud of it, in a thousand verses, yet would not BaiaB be praised as it deserves. But, Flaccus, I prefer MartiaP to Baiae. ^ That is, himself. He had rather mind his own business at home, than join Flaccus at Baiae, to be enervated by its luxury. 534 maetial's To wish for both at once would be presumptuous. But if, by the kindness of the gods, that blessing were granted you, what happiness would it be to enjoy Martial's powers and the climate of Baiae at the same time ! Lxxxi. o:n^ a-s old ma:s' aitd ajs- etjktjch. Cum sene communem vexat spado Dindymus -^glen, Et jacet in medio sicca puella toro : Yiribus hie operi non est, hie iuutilis annis. Ergo sine effectu prurit uterque labor. Supplex ilia rogat pro se, miserisque duobus, Hunc juvenem facias, hunc, Cytherea, virum. L'eunuco Dindimo vessa Egle in comune con un vecchio, e la giovane giace assiuta in mezzo al letto : quello non ha vigore all' opra, questo inutile per gli anni. Di modo che gli sforzi dell' uno e dell' altro incitano senza efFetto. Essa suppHchevole prega per se, e per i due sfortunati, che Citerea renda questo giovane, e quello uomo. Graglia. LXXXII. OlS PHILOSTEATTJS. Philostratus, returning to his lodging late at night, from a feast at Sinuessa, famed for its waters, very nearly lost his life, imitating Elpenor^ in his cruel fate, by rolling headlong dovni the whole length of a flight of stairs. He would not, ye nymphs of Sinuessa, have incurred so great a danger, had he in preference drunk of your waters.^ At Bristol, Tom from the mayor's feast was led : And home return'd, was going up to bed : From the stair-head he like Elpenor fell ; And, like Elpenor, almost dropp'd to hell. My sober friend ! reflect upon this matter ! How safe are you who drink but Bristol water ! Hay. Lxxxiii. TO sosibia:n-us. Nobody lodges in your house gratis, unless he be rich and childless. JSTo one, Sosibianus, lets lodgings to more profit. Gratis your house old bachelors frequent : Yet none can let a house at higher rent. Hay. ^ Who -was killed by falling from the roof of Circe's cave. Odyss. B. X. 550. ^ Which were said to have such a sobering effect, that they cured even madness. Plin. H. N. xxxi. 2. BOOK XT.] EPIGRAMS. 535 LXXXIT. ON ANTIOCHTJS, AN UNSKILFUL BAEBEE. Let him who does not ^Yisll yet to descend to the waters ot Stjx, avoid, if he be wise, the barber Antiochus. The knives with which, when the maddened troop of Cybele's priests rage to the sound of Phrygian measures, their white arms are lacerated, are less cruel than the razor of Antiochus. More gently does Alcon cut a strangulated hernia, and hew broken bones with his rude hand. Antiochus should deal ^dth needy Cynics, and the beards of Stoics, and denude the necks of horses of their dusty manes. If he were to shave Prometheus under the Scythian rock, the Titan would again, with bared breast, demand his executioner the vulture. Pentheus would flee to his mother, Orpheus to the priestesses of Bacchus, were they to hear but a sound from the bar- barous weapon of Antiochus. All these scars, that you count upon my chin, like those that sit upon the brow of an aged boxer, were not produced by the nails of an enraged wife, but by the steel and cursed hand of Antiochus. 04 all animals the goat alone has any sense ; he wears his beard, that he may not risk himself under the hands of Antiochus. You, who wish not to die before your hour, Trust not your face to barber Scrapeill's power. A soldier's skin is less severely rent, Who runs the gantlope through his regiment. Hawkins by far cuts easier for the stone ; And any surgeon sets a broken bone. A barber, fit for beggars in a lane ; To dock a horse's tail, or cut his mane. A felon, martyr'd by such hands as these, Would call upon the hangman's hand for ease. Debtors for refuge would to bailiffs fly, And tars to press-gangs, when his razor 's nigh. Look on these scars ! how movingly they speak ! And seem as I were burnt in either cheek ! Not of an angry wife they records stand ; But Scrapeill's razor, and his bungling hand. A goat is wisest of the brutish herd ; Who, to avoid a Scrapeill, wears his beard. Hay. LXXXT. TO ZOILUS. Sidere percussa est subito tibi, Zoile, lingua, Dum lingis certe, Zoile, nunc lutues. 536 Martial's Improvisamente, o Zoilo, t' e da un contagio percossa la lingua< mentre lingi il c-no, o Zoilo, ora immembrerai. Graglia. LXXXYI. TO PAETHENOP^US. To relieve your throat, Parthenopseus, wMcli is incessantly- inflamed by a severe cough, your doctor prescribes honey, and nuts, and sweet cakes, and everything that is given to chil- dren to prevent them from being unruly. But you do not give over coughing all day long. A cough is not your malady, Parthenopseus ; it is gluttony. Your cough the doctor and your sharp Rhumis rage Which your chopps dayly vexes to asswadge. Prescribes you honey, pine-nutts, and sweate pastes, And what e'er pleases children's liquorish tastes. To cough all day for this you do not cease : No cough, but gluttony, is your disease. Old MS. im Cent. That thy doctor may assuage Thy jaws, whose cough doth seem to rage Daily, Parthenopeeus, he Commands that they shall give to thee * Life-honny, kernels, and sweet cakes, That every boy unbidden takes. But day by day thy cough grows more on thee ; This is no cough ; I fear 'tis gluttony. Fletcher, LXXXYII. TO CHAEIDEMFS. Dives eras quondam : sed tunc psedico fuisti, Et tibi nulla diu foemina nota fuit. Nunc sectaris anus. O quantum cogit egestas ! Ilia fututorem te, Charideme, facit. Altre volte eri ricco : ma allora eri un pedicone, e per lungo tempo veruna donna fu da te conosciuta. Ora insegui le vecchie. Oh quanto la miseria costringe ! essa, o Caridemo, ti fa immembratore. Graglia. LXXXVIII. ON CHAEISIANUS. Multis jam, Lupe, posse se diebus Paedicare negat Charisianus Caussam cum modo qusererent sodales : Yentrem dixit habere se solutum. O Lupo, Carisiano dice di non poter pedicare gia damolti giomi. J)imandandogliene poco fa i compagni la cagione, disse che aveva la diarrea. Graglia. BOOK XI.] EPIGRAMS. 537 LXXXTX. TO POLLA. "WTiy do you send me, Polla, wreaths of roses that are quite fresh ? I would rather have roses that you have handled. Fresh virgin chaplets why send you to me ? Roses roll'd in your hand would sweeter bee. Old MS. 16th Cent. XO. TO CHRESTILLrS, AIS" ABSTJED ADMIREE OE THE OLD POETS. You approve of no verses that run with a smooth cadence, but of those only that vault as it were over hills and crags; and a line such as this, Luceilei columella heio situ' Metrophan' est, "Lucilius's right hand, Metrophanes, lies here," is of more value in your eyes than a poem of Homer; and you read with ecstasy such words as terrai frugiferai, "the fruit-producing earth," as well as all that Attius and Pacuvius have sputtered forth. Do you wish me to imitate these old poets, Chrestillus, whom you so much admire ? Confound me, if I think you know what vigour is.^ XCI. EPITAPH OE CAI^ACE. Canace, one of the daughters of JEolis, lies buried in this tomb, a little child whose seventh winter was her last. " O shame! O dire fate !" why are you in haste, traveller, to weep ? We do not here complain of the shortness of life ; sadder than death itself was the manner of it ; a horrid disease destroyed her face, and seized upon her delicate mouth. The cruel foe devoured her very lips, nor was her body consigned entire to the funeral pile. If the fates intended to fall on her with such headlong violence, they should have come in some other form. But death hastened to close the passage of her sweet voice, lest her tongue should dissuade the stern goddesses from their purpose. Within this tombe faire Canace is plac't, To whom her seventh winter was her last. O dire mischance ! Reader, why weepest thou there ? 'Tis not her short life that demands thy teare. Deaths manner's worse than death ; the dire disease Beset her face, her tender mouth did seize. 1 Dispeream, ni scis mentula quid sapiat. 538 maetial's The monster sickenesse striv'd a kisse to have. Her fau'e lips went not wholly to the grave. If fates so soone had meant to stop her breath, They should have come some other way. But death Made haste her tongues sweet musicke to prevent, Lest that should make the flintie fates relent. May. XCII. TO ZOILTJS. He speaks erroneously, Zoilus, who calls you vicious. You are not vicious, Zoilus, but vice itself. Zoilus he lied that call'd thee vicious elf, Thou art not vicious, but art vice itself. Fletcher. Who calls you vicious, lies. You, Zoilus, are Not vicious, but pure vice itself, I swear. Wright. He says not right, who says that you are evil : You an ill man ! — you are a very devil. iTay. XCIII. OlS THEODOErS, A BAD POET. The flames have destroyed the Pierian dwelling of the bard Theodorus. Is this agreeable to you, ye muses, and thou, Phoebus ? Oh shame, oh great wrong and scandal of the gods, that house and householder were not burned together ! Flames Theodore's Pierian roofs did seize. Can this Apollo, this the Muses, please ? O oversight of gods ! O dire disaster ! To bum the harmless house, and spare the master. Anon. Poor poet Dogrel's house consumed by fire ! Is the Muse pleased ? or father of the lyre ? O cruel fate ! what injury you do To bum the house ! and not the master too ! Hay. XCIY. ON A JEW, A EIYAL POET. As for the fact that you are exceedingly envious and every- where carping at my writings, I pardon you, circumcised poet ; you have your reasons. Nor am I at all concerned that, while carping at my verses, you steal them ; for this too, circumcised poet, you have your reasons. This however, circumcised poet, annoys me, that, though you were born in the heart of Jerusalem, you attempt to seduce the object of my affections. Tou deny that such is the case, and swear by BOOK XI.] EPIGEAMS. 539 the temples of Jupiter. I do not believe you ; swear, circum- cised poet, by Anchialus.^ XCV. TO FLACGTTS. Incideris quoties in basia fellatorum, In solio puto te mergere, Elacce, caput. Ogni volta che t' imbatti nei bacci dei fellatori, io m' immagino, o Flacco, che immergi il capo in un tino. Graglia. XCYI. TO A GEEMAK, PEETE:N^Ti:!f G A EOMAJf TOTJTH EEOM DEINKING OE THE MAETIAN WATEE, WHILE HE DEUNK IT HIMSELE. It is the Martian fountain,^ and not the Ehine, that rises nere, German. "Why do you stand in the boy's way, and keep him back from the water of the rich well ? Barbarian, a fountain belonging to the conquerors should not allay the thirst of a captive slave, to the exclusion of a citizen. XCTII. TO TELESILLA. Una nocte quater possum : sed quatuor annis Si possum, peream, te Thelesilla semel. II posso quatro volte in una notte : ma possa io ntorire se in quatr' anni il posso teco una volta, o Telefilia. Graglia. XCYIII. TO ELACCUS. It is impossible, Elaccus, to avoid the kissers. They press upon you, they delay you, they pursue you, they run against you, on all sides, from every direction, and in every place. JSTo malignant ulcer will protect you from them, no inflamed pimples, or diseased chin, or ugly tetter, or lips smeared with oily cerate, or drop at the cold nose. They kiss you when you are hot and when you are cold ; they kiss you when you are reserving your kiss for your wife. To envelope your head in a hood will not avail you ; nor to secure your litter with skins and curtains, nor will a chair closed again and again be any defence to you ; the kisser Supposed to be a corruption of the Hebrew, rr'^s "^Mas " as the Lord liveth," the Romans supposing that the Jews, when they pronounced those words, uttered the name of some deity, which they wrote Anchialus. 2 See B. vi. Ep. 42- 540 maetial's will find an entrance through every chink. I^ot the consul- ship itself, nor the tribunate, nor the six fasces,^ nor the proud rod of the noisy lictor, will drive off the kisser. Though you be sitting on the lofty tribunal, and laying down the law to nations from, the curule chair, the kisser will climb up to either place ; he will kiss you in a fever or in tears ; he will kiss you while you are yawning and swimming ; he will kiss you when you are at stool. The sole remedy for the evil is, to make him, whom you would not wish to kiss, your friend. There are no means the kissing tribe to shun, They meet you, stop you, after you they run, Press you before, behind, to each side cleave, No place, no time, no men, exempted leave ; A dropping nose, salved lips, can none reprieve, Gangrenes, foul running sores, no one reheve ; They kiss you in a sweat, or starv'd with cold, Lovers their mistress' kisses cannot hold ; A chair is no defence, with curtains guarded, AVith door and mndows shut, and closely warded, The kissers, through a chink will find a way, Presume the tribune, consul's self, to stay ; Nor can the awful rods, or Lictor's mace. His stounding voice away these kissers chace, But they '11 ascend the Rostra, curule chair, The judges kiss, while they give sentence there. Those laugh they kiss, and those that sigh and weep; 'Tis all the same whether you laugh or weep ; Those who do bathe, or recreate in pool, Who are withdrawn to ease themselves at stool. Against this plague I know no fence, but this : ^ Make him thy friend whom thou abhorr'st to kiss. Anon, XCIX. TO LESBIA. De cathedra quoties surgis, jam saspe notavi, Paedicant miseram, Lesbia, te tunicae. Quas cum conata es dextra, conata sinistra Yellere, cum lacrymis eximis, et gemitu. Sic constringuntur gemina symplegade culi, Et Minyas intrant, Cyaneasque nates. Emendare cupis vitium deforme ? docebo ; Lesbia, nee surgas censeo, nee sedeas. ^ Carried before the praetor. BOOK XI.] EPTGEAMS. 541 Ogni volta che ti alzi da sedere, come piii volte notai, le tuniche, o Lesbia, te sciagurata pedicano : che tu or colla destra, or colla sin- istra ti sei sforzata svellere con gran lagrime e lamenti. Cosi sono esse rinserrate dalle gemini simplegadi del tuo culo, ed entrano fra le natiche Minie e Cianee. Vuoi tu emendare il deforme vizio ? te I'insegnero ; son di sentimento che tu, o Lesbia, ne stii in piedi, ne siedi. Graglia. c. TO rLACCUS. I have no fancy, Elaccus, for a mistress extraordinarily thin, who can make my rings serve her for bracelets ; who scrapes me with her hips and pricks me v^dth her knees ; whose loins are rough as a saw, or sharp as a lance. Yet I have no taste for a mistress weighing a thousand pounds ; I am a lover of flesh, but not of fat. My mistress I'd not have so thin, A ring her armes might compass in ; Whose haunch or knee my sides might weare, Her back a saw, her rump a speare ; Yet her a cart-loade I'd not have ; 'Tis solid flesh, not fatt, I crave. Old MS. \&th Cent. CT. TO FLACCUS. And have you been able, Elaccus, to see the slender Thais ? Then, Maccus, I suspect you can see what is invisible. CII. TO LYDIA. He told no untruth, Lydia, who informed me that you have a handsome face, but devoid of expression. It is so ; your face would always look handsome, if you would but be silent, and st as mute as a waxen image, or a picture. But whenever you speak, Lydia, all your beauty flies, and no tongue does more damage to its owner than yours. Have a care lest the sedile see and hear you ; it is portentous when a statue speaks. He lied not, Lydia, who pronounced thee fair, For flesh and blood none may with thee compare. This is most true while thou dost silent stand, Like some rare piece of a great master's hand. But when thou speak'st, e'en such thy beauty's gone, And their own tongue none ever so did wrong. Let not the ^dile hear thee silence break : It is a portent if an image speak. Anon, 1695. 542 MAETIAL S CIII. TO SOPHEONITJS. So great is the modesty of your mind and countenance, Sophronius, that I wonder you should ever have become a \ father. Thou art so tame and simple, on my life, I wonder how thou e'er could'st court a wife. Anon. CIV. TO HIS WIFE. Uxor vade soras, aut moribus utere nostris : Non ego sum Curius, non Numa, non Tatius. Me jucunda juvant tractse per pocula noctes : Tu properas pota surgere tristis aqua. Tu tenebris gandes : me ludere teste lucerna, Et juvat admissa rumpere luce latus. Fascia te, tunicseque tegunt, obscuraque palla : At mihi nuda satis nulla puella patet. Basia me capiunt blandas imitata columbas : Tu mihi das, avise qualia mane soles. Nee motu dignaris opus, nee voce juvare, JN'ec digitis : tanquam thura, merumque pares. Masturbabantur Phrygii post ostia servi, Hectoreo quoties sederat uxor equo. Et quamvis Ithaco stertente, pudica solebat lUic Penelope semper habere manum. Psedicare negas : dabat hoc Cornelia Graccho, Julia Pompeio, Portia, Brute, tibi. Dulcia Dardanio nondum miscente ministro Pocula, Juno fuit pro Granymede Jovi. Si te delectat gravitas, Lucretia toto Sis licet usque die : Laida nocte volo, Moglie mia va fuori, o pratica i nostri costumi : io non sono ne Curio, ne Numa, ne Tazio. A me piacciono le notti scorse fra i giocondi bicchieri : tu, bevuta dell acqua, t'affretti partire seriosa. Tu ti piaci nelle tenebre : a me scherzare che la lucerna mi veda, e mi place, approssimato il chiaro, immembrare a piu non posso. Una fascia e delle tuniche ti coprono, ed un' oscuro manto : ed a me nessuna zitella pare abbastanza ignuda : I baci simili a quelli delle lascive colombe m'alacciano : tu me li dai quali dar suoli all'avola sul mattino ; ne ti degni dar piacere col moto, ne con parole, ne colle mani : e ti prepari come ad ofirir incenzi e libazioni. I Frigii servi masturbavano dietro le porte, ogni volta che la moglie sedeva BOOE: XI.] EPIGEAMS. 543 su I'Etoreo cavallo. E Itaco quantunque russante, la pudica Pe- nelope suoleva aver sempre cola la mano. Tu ricusi pedicare . Cornelia accordava cio a Gracco, Giulia a Pompeo, e Porzia a te, Bruto. II Dardanio ministro quando non versava i dolci bicchieri, Giunone era a Giove in vece di Ganimede. Se la gravita ti diletta, siati lecito esser Lucrezia tutto quanto '1 giorno : di notte ti voglio una Laide. Graglia. Prythee die and set me free, Or else be Kind and brisk, and gay like me ; I pretend not to the wise ones. To the grave, to the grave. Or the precise ones. 'Tis not cheeks, nor lips, nor eyes, That I prize, Quick conceits, or sharp replies, If wise thou wilt appear and knowing, Repartie, repartie To what I'm doing. Sir John Denham. CT. TO GAREICTJS. Tou used to send me a pound ; now, Garricus, you send me only a quarter ; at least, G-arricus, let it be half a pound. ^ CYI. TO YIBITJS MAXIMUS. Yibius Maximus, if you can spare time, read this trifle ; for you have little to do, and are not over laborious. What, do you pass over even these four lines ? WeU 1 you are right. Vibius, hast an hour to spare ? On these lines bestow thy care, But labour is not thy delight, Thou' It pass e'en these four lines ? Thou 'rt right. Anon, CYII. TO SEPTICIANTJS, You send me back my book, Septicianus, as if it had been unrolled down to its very end, and read through. You have read everything; I believe it, I know it; in truth I am delighted. In the same manner I have read through your five books. ^ An intimation that Garricus should have diminished his presents by degrees ; compare B viii. Ep. 71. 544 Martial's The leaves all foil'd, some turn'd, the corners worn, Show you've perused my work, which you return. Pm glad you've read it all ; I see 'tis true ; So I have read five volumes writ by you. Hay, CYIII. TO THE READER. Although, reader, you may well be tired of so long a book, you still want a few more distichs from me. But Lupus ^ demands his interest ; and ray copyists their wages. Pay ,2 reader. You are silent ; do you pretend not to hear ? Then, goodbye. With my long book thou well may'st glutted be, Yet thou more epigrams exact'st of me : But Lupus calls for use, servants for pay, Discharge them, reader. Now thou'st nought to say, Dissemblest, as my words thou could'st not spell. No riddle thou 'rt to me, reader, farewell. Anon. 1695. I BOOK XII. MARTIAL TO HIS ERIEND PRISCTTS. 1 KNOW that I owe some apology for my obstinate three years' indolence ; though, indeed, it could by no apology have been excused, even amid the engagements of the city, engagements in which we more easily succeed in making ourselves appear troublesome than serviceable to our friends ; and much less is it defensible in this country solitude, where, unless a person studies even to excess, his retreat is at once vvdthout consolation and without excuse. Listen then to my reasons ; among which the first and principal is this, that I miss the audience to which I had grown accustomed at Eome, and seem like an advocate pleading in a strange court ; for if ' A usurer, of whom Martial intimates that he had borrowed money. 2 Solve. Schneidewin reads salve, without regard to quantity. We think it necessary to follow the common reading. BOOK XII.] EPIGEAMS. 545 there be anything pleasing in my books it is due to my auditors. That penetration of judgment, that fertility of invention, the libraries, the theatres, the social meet- ings, in which pleasure does not perceive that it is studying; everything, in a vp-ord, which we left behind us in satiety, we regret as though utterly deserted. Add to this the backbiting of the provincials, envy usurping the place of criticism, and one or two ill-disposed persons, who, in a small society, are a host ; circumstances under which it is difficult to be always in the best of humours. Do not wonder then that I have abandoned in disgust occupa- tions in which I used to employ myself with delight. Not to meet you, however, with a refusal on your arrival from town, and when you ask me for what I have done (you, towards whom I should not show a proper feeling of grati- tude, if I did not exert myself for you to the utmost of my power), I have forced myself to do that which I was once in the habit of doing with pleasure, and have set apart a few days for study, in order to regale your friendly ears with the repast suited to them after their journey. Be pleased to weigh considerately the offering, which is intrusted without apprehension to you, and do not think it too much labour to examine it ; and, what you may find most difficult, judge of my trifles without scrupulous regard to elegance, lest, if you are too exacting, I send you to Eome a book not merely written in Spain, but in Spanish. I. TO PRISCUS. While nets lie unemployed, and Melossian hounds are silent, and while the woods no longer reecho to shouts in pursuit of the boar, you will be able, Priscus, to accord a portion of your leisure to a short book. The hour so bestowed will not be so long as that of a summer's day, and you will not find it entirely wasted. II. TO HIS BOOK. Tou, my verses, who but a short time since were taking 2 N 546 martial' s your way to the shores of Pyrge,^ take your way along the Via Sacra : it is no longer dusty.^ III. TO HIS BOOK. You, my book, who used lately to be sent from Eome to foreign lands, will now go as a foreigner to Rome ; setting out from among the people of the gold-producing Tagus, and from the rude Salo,^ a potent land that gave birth to my forefathers. But you will not be a foreigner, nor can you be justly called a stranger, now that the lofty city of Eemus contains so many of your brethren. Seek, as of right, the venerable threshold of the new temple,'* where their sacred abodes have been restored^ to the Pierian choir. Or, if you prefer, enter by the Subura first ; there are the lofty halls of my friend the consul. The eloquent Stella inhabits the laurel-crowned mansion ; Stella, the illustrious quaffer of the spring dedicated to lanthe.^ There is a Castalian spring, proud of its glassy waters, which they say the nine sisters have oft-times sipped. He will circulate you amongst the people, and the senators, and the knights, and will read you himself with eyes not altogether dry.'^ "Why do you ask for a title-page "? Let but two or three verses be read, and all will exclaim, Book, you are mine. IV. TO PEISCTJS. What Maecenas, the knight sprung of royal lineage, was to Horace and to the sublime Virgil, many-tongued Pame, and a long-lived work, shall proclaim to people and nations that you, Priscus Torentius, have been to me. Ton give me my facility, and whatever power I am thought to have ; you give me the means of enjoying a not ignoble indolence. ^ A maritime town of Apulia. Martial used to send his writings from Rome into the country ; he was now sending them from the country to Rome. See next epigram. 2 It being the winter season. 3 A river near Bilbilis in Spain, Martial's birth-place, whence he was writing. See B. i. Ep. 50. * That of Apollo and the Muses, built by Augustus. ^ By Nerva. * Stella's mistress. See B. vi. Ep. 21. ' Through concern at my absence. ;l BOOK XII.] EPIGKAMS. 547 What unto Flaccus, and to Maro thee Mecenas was of royal pedigree ; Most noble Priscus, that thou art to me. Which loudest fame, and my long-living verse, Unto all times and nations shall rehearse. For the name I have, and wit, I owe thee both, Whose bounty does maintain my learned sloth. Anon. V. TO FERYA, ON" THE ABBEEYIATION^ OP HIS BOOKS. My tenth and eleventh books were too much extended ; the present is in smaller compass. Let the larger books be read by those who have leisure, and to whom you have granted undisturbed tranquillity of existence : do thou, Caesar, read this shorter one ; perhaps thou wilt also read the others. YI. ETJLOGT OK NERYA. The palace of Bome has the honour of receiving Nerva, the mildest of princes ; we may now enjoy Helicon to the full. Perfect equity, humane clemency, discreet power, now return ; long-continued alarms have disappeared. For thee, O affectionate Rome, thy people, and the nations subject to^ thy empire, utter this prayer : May such a ruler be ever thine, and may this one especially long reign over thee ! Blessings be upon thy sj)irit, which is such as few have, and upon thy character, which is such as Numa, or a cheerful Cato,' might have owned. Now thou mayst, and it is right that thou shouldst, make presents, display thy beneficence, enlarge the slender incomes of the poor, and grant blessings such as the indulgent gods could scarcely exceed. For even under a severe prince and in bad times, thou hadst the coiirage to be good. Nerva, the gentlest prince, now rules our court ; We freely may to Helicon resort. Just faith, and cheerfull mildness, now dwell here, And well-weigh'd power, which banishes all feare. Rome's provinces and people pray that hee Long may their chief, and long their chiefs such bee. Goe on, rare prince, whose manners Numa grave. Or Cato (were he less severe) might have. * As just as Cato the censor, but not so severe. 2 N 2 54.8 maetial's To bee just, bountyfull, enrich the poore, And give so frankly, heav'n could give no more, Is lawfull, now you reign ; who boldly durst Bee good when times were bad, and the prince curst. Old MS. 16th Cent. VII. ON LiaEIA. If Ligeia's years are equal in number to the hairs of her head, she is only three years old. If by thy hairs thy age be to be told, Ligeia, by thy crown thou'rt three years old. Fletcher. Her years, if number'd by her hairs, I ween, That lady elderly is scarce nineteen. Bay. VIII. TO EOME, j:s peaise of teaja:n". Rome, goddess of the earth and its people, to whom there is nothing equal, nothing second, when she was recently com- puting with joy the long series of years destined for the life of Trajan, and saw in our great leader so much bravery, youth, and martial ardour, Rome, I say, glorying in such a ruler, ex- claimed : " Ye princes of the Parthians, ye leaders of the Scythians, ye Thracians, Sarmatians, Gretse, and Britons, ap- proach, I can show you a Caesar." Queen of the nations, Rome, that has no peer (Whom none does equal, none approaches near). Lately with joy computing Trajan's years, The ages she should pass, and know no fears ; As she so famed a captain did behold, And yet a soldier stout, young, martial, bold, Proud of her prince, thus vauntingly she spoke : Parthians, Britains, submit unto my yoke ; Thracians, Scythians, I've a Csesar now. Come pay your tribute, to my eagles bow. Anon. 1695. IX. TO TEAJAN, ON SPAIN BEING TEANQUILLISED. Palma,^ most benign Caesar, rules my Iberian countrymen, and under his mild rule the provinces flourish in peace. Joy- fully therefore do w^e offer you our thanks for so great a boon ; you have sent your own character into our parts. Now, gracious Caesar, Palma rules our Spain, Peace, long a stranger, has restored again : ^ Aulus Cornelius Palma, a prefect much beloved by Trajan. u BOOK XII.] EPIGEAMS. 549 We tlianks return thee for so great a grace, That ;hine own virtues thou 'mongst us dost place. Anon. 1695. X. Olf ArEICANUS. Africanu:? possesses a hundred thousand sesterces, and yet covets more. Eortune gives too much to many, enough to none. African has a thousand pounds in store, Yet he desires, and hunts, and rakes for more : Fortune hath overmuch bestow'd on some ; But plenary content doth give to none. Fletcher. Fortune, some say, doth give too much to many ; And yet she never gave enough to any. Si)' John Harrington. He fawns for more, though he his thousands touch : Fortune gives none enough, but some too much. Hay. XI. TO HIS MUSE. Muse, salute Parthenius, your good friend and mine ; for who drinks more largely from the Aonian fountain ? Whose lyre comes forth more ennobled from the cave of the muses ? Whom among all his Pierian followers does Phoebus love more ? And if by chance (but for this we must scarcely hope) he shall have a moment to spare, beg him to present with his own hands our verses to the emperor; and to recommend this little book, so humble and so small, with merely four words : " This your Rome reads." All health to my and thy Parthenius bring, My muse ; for who in the Aonian spring E'er deeper drank ? From the Pimplean cave. Whose harp a sweeter, nobler sound e'er gave ? Who of the inspired and immortal choir, Does Phoebus' self more love or more admire ? Request when he the prince does vacant know (Which hardly can be hoped), my book to show. With these few words my humble verse to speed : This man, dread Caesar, all thy Rome does read. Anon. XIT. TO POLLIO. You promise everything after you have been drinking all night, next morning you perform nothing. Drink, Pollio, in the morning. 550 maetial's While in loose cups thou top'st the night away, Then thou wilt promise anything to do, ■ But nothing wilt perform on the next day : Pray, Posthumus, drink in the morning too. Fletcher» In midnight cups you grant all we propose : • Next morn neglect : pray, take a rnorning dose. Kay. You're full of promises, my friend, T^Tien you are drunk all night. And say that everything shall end To all my wishes quite : But in the morn you nothing do. And therefore be advised, Be drunk both night and morning too : Your word will then be prized. Rev. Mr. Scott, 1773. Imitation. Thraso picks quarrels when he's drunk at night j When sober in the morning dares not fight : Thraso, to shun those ills that may ensue, Drink not at night, or drink at morning too. Walsh. XIII. TO ArCTUS. The rich, Anctus, make a species of gain out of anger. It is cheaper to get into a passion than to give.^ Anger's a kind of gain that rich men know : It costs them less to hate than to bestow. Fletcher. Rich men, my friend, by anger know to thrive. 'Tis cheaper much to quarrel than to give. Hay. Ask you, last night, why Gripus ill behaved ? A well-timed quarrel is a dinner saved. N. B. Halhed. XIT. TO PRISCTJS, OlS THE DANQEES OE HAEE HUNTING. Use more sparingly, I advise you, the gallopping hunter, Priscus, and ride not so furiously after the hare. The sportsman has often made atonement to the prey, and fallen, never to rise again, from the spirited horse. The very plain, too, has its dangers ; even though there be no ditch, no mound, no rocky places, yet the level ground is apt to deceive. There will not be wanting some rider to exhibit to you a spectacle such as this ; but his fall would excite less 1 Comp. B. iii. Ep. 37. I BOOK XTI.] EPIGRAMS. 551 repining at Fate than jours. If the excitement of danger attract you, let us spread toils for the wild boars of Tuscany ; courage in that pursuit is safer. Why do such break-neck steeds delight you ? They much oftener succeed in killing the rider than the hare. Dear squire, take my advice ; your hunter spare : Nor with such violence pursue a hare. The sportsman often does the prey become ; And from his horse receive his final doom. No ground is safe : if ditch nor bar remain, Nor pit, your horse may stumble on a plain ; There are enough, at distance to divert, And break their neck, \vho have not your desert. If manly exercise such pleasure yields, Safer and nobler seek in Belgic fields. Why ride at all, and madly fate defy ? Roper at last before the fox did die. Hay. XY. A C0MPLIME:S^T to TRAJAIf, OlS" HIS MTJXiriCEJ^fCE TO THE TEMPLE OE JUPITER. Everything that glittered in the Parrhasian^ palace has been given to our gods and to the eyes of all. Jupiter wonders at the- Scythian radiance of the emeralds^ set in gold, and is amazed at the objects of imperial magnificence,^ and at luxuries so oppressive to the nation. Here are cups fit for the Thunderer ; there for his Phrygian favourite.^ We all now rejoice with Jupiter. But very lately (and with shame, yes, with shame I confess it) we were all poor as well as Jupiter. Whatever shined in the Parrhasian hall Is to our eyes and to our gods giv'n all ; Jupiter stands and wonders to behold Himself in Scythian flames of sparkling gold ; Great Caesar's pleasant pride, and vast expense. These cups may suit with Jove's magnificence, Such as may well become the Phrygian boy, Now all with Jove are rich and clad with joy. It shames, it shames me to confess of yore How all of us with Jove were very poor. Fletcher. ' Palatine. See B. vii. Ep. 55. ' Radiance of the emeralds brought from Scythia. ' Domitian's. * Ganymede. I 552 maetial's xyi. to labientjs. You have made away, Labiemis, with three of your farms ; you have purchased, Labienus, three favourites: you are making three farms, Labienus, the object of your love. XYII. TO LENTINrS. Tou inquire, Lentinus, why your fever does not leave you for so many days, and you complain bitterly on the subject. It is carried about with you in your litter ; it bathes with you; it feeds upon mushrooms, oysters, sow's paps, and wild boar, with yon. It is often inebriated with Setine, and often with Falernian wine ; nor does it quaff Csecuban unless it be mixed with snow water. It reclines with you, decked with roses, and darkened with amomum ; and sleeps with you on down, and on a purple bed. Seeing that your fever is so well treated, and lives so comfortably in your society, do you expect it to transfer itself in preference to Dama ? Your fever still attends you, though you grieve ; Though you complain, will not one moment leave. With you it travels in a chariot ; dines With you, on truffles, oysters, sweetbreads, chines : Drinks hock ; in Burgundy is very nice ; Nor will taste claret, till 'tis cool'd in ice ; Reclines at ease ; and smells to some perfume ; Lodges on down, in a well-furnish'd room. Think you, a fever, which you treat so well, Will with a porter or a cobler dwell ? Hay. XVIII. TO JTJVENAL. "Whilst you, my Juvenal, are perhaps wandering restless in the noisy Suburra or pacing the hill of the goddess Diana whilst your toga, in which you perspire at the thresholds of your influential friends, is fanning you as you go, and the greater and lesser Caelian hills fatigue you in your wan- derings ; my own Bilbilis, revisited after many winters, has received me, and made me a country gentleman; Bilbilis, proud of its gold and its iron ! Here we indolently cultivate with agreeable labour Boterduna and Platea ; these are the some- what rude names of Celtiberian localities. I enjoy profound and extraordinary sleep, which is frequently unbroken, even BOOK XII.] EPI&EAMS. 553 at nine in tlie morning ; and I am now indemnifying myself fully for all tlie interruptions to sleep that I endured for thirty years. The toga here is unknown, but the nearest dress is given me, when I ask for it, from an old press. "When I rise, a hearth, heaped up with faggots from a neighbour- ing oak grove, welcomes me ; a hearth which the bailiff's w3e crowns with many a pot. Then comes the housemaid, such a one as you would envy me. A close-shorn bailiff issues the orders to my boy attendants, and begs that they may be obliged to lay aside their long hair.^ Thus I delight to live, and thus I hope to die. While you perhaps now crowd thro' Temple-bar, Stunn'd with the din of rattling coach and car ; Or towards Paul's are mounting Ludgate-street ; Or running to the levee of the great ; Or in your lawyer's gown, are driving hard ; Either through great or little Palace-yard ; My native Sussex, and her favourite shore, Of golden harvests proud, and iron ore, Me, her too long absenting renegade, Again revives, and hath a farmer made. Busy but pleas' d, and idly taking pains. Here Lewes Downs I till, and R-ingmer plains ; Names which to each South Saxon are well known, Though they sound harsh to powder'd beaux in town. None can enjoy a sounder sleep than mine ; I often do not wake till after nine ; And midnight hours with interest repay. For years in town diversions thrown away. Stranger to finery, myself I dress. In the first coat from an old broken press. My fire, as soon as I am up, I see Bright with the ruins of some neighbouring tree ; And early by a country cook-wench crown'd With boiling pots and skillets all around. Next comes my dairy-maid; and such a one, As Pan himself might wish to meet alone. My boys, whose heads rough as a filly's grow Are summon'd by my bailiff to the plough. Such is my life, a life of liberty : So would I wish to live, and so to die. Hay. * In order to be ranked among full-grown men, and do men's work. 554 XIX. ON AEMILIUS. At the warm baths Aemilius takes lettuces, eggs, and anchovies ; ' and then says that he does not dine out. XX. TO FABULLTJS. Do you ask, Fabullus, why Themison has not a wife ? He has a sister. You lately were inquiring, why Silvester Has not yet got a wife ? — He has a sister. Hay. XXI. TO MAECELLA, HIS WIFE. "Who would imagine, Marcella, that you dwelt upon the banks of the iron-hardening Salo,^ and were born in our regions ? So rare, so sweet is your disposition ! The court of Caesar will say, should it but once hear your voice, that you belong to itself. Nor can any woman born in the midst of the Suburra, nor any native of the Capitoline Hill, vie with you. Nor will any glorious foreign offspring more fit to be a daughter of E-ome soon smile upon its mother. You cause my longing for the Queen of Cities to be more sup- portable ; you alone are a Eome to me. That you were born, and ever since have lived, In Derby Peak, is scarce to be conceived. Wit so uncommon, and diverting too, Courts might admire, and challenge as their due. No Pall Mall lady can with you compare ; None who sees company in Grosvenor-square. Nor soon again will shine in tracts unknown, One, who would be an ornament to town. You for the lost metropolis atone ; And London I enjoy in you alone. Hay, XXII. ON PHIL^NIS. Do you wish me, Tabullus, to tell you in few words how ugly Philsenis is with her one eye ? Philaenis would be better looking with no eye at all. ^ Slight refreshments were sometimes taken at the baths ; Aemilius par- took of them immoderately, so as to make a meal. 2 See Ep. 3, and B. iv. Ep. 55. BOOK XII.] EPIGEAMS. 555 XXIII. TO L^LIA. You wear bought teeth, and bought hair, Lselia, without a blush. What will you do for an eye ? You cannot buy that. Your hair and teeth you're not asham'd to buy. What will you do, should' st lose the other eye ? Hay. Your teeth from Hemmett, and your hair from Bolney : Was not an eye to be procured for money ? Dr. Hoadley. XXIV. TO JUTATUS, Olf A CAEEIAGE, THE GIET OP JELIANTJS. carriage, that affordest a sweet solitude ! — Grift of my eloquent friend ^lianus, more pleasant than open curricle or chariot ! Here, Jiivatus, you may say to me whatever comes into your head. No black driver of a Libyan horse, no well- girt running footman in front of us, no muleteer alongside ; and the horses will not babble. Would that Avitus were here with us ; I should not fear his third pair of ears. Thus how charmingly would the whole day pass ! How pleasant is this one-horse chair ! In which alone I take the air : 'Tis Pleadwell's present : for my age. There is no better equipage. Now with thy master, Ball, be free ; And say whate'er you please to me. No master of the horse have I, Or groom or running footman by. And though your curb and harness rattle, The devil's in it, if they tattle. Would that my honest friend Ned Hearty Were here but with us of the party ! I should not fear, that he would tell : We three might pass the day full well. Hay. XXV. TO TELESIKUS. When I ask you for a loan without oiFering you security, you say, " I have no money." Yet, if my farm stands pledged for me, you have money. What you refuse, Telesinus, to lend me, your old friend, you are willing to lend to my acres and my trees. But see ! Cams' has accused you before the magistrate ; let my farm undertake your defence. Or if 1 A common informer. 556 maetial's you look for a companion when you go into exile ; let mj farm attend you. If I want money ; you have none, you cry : But lend it, if my field's security. "With what you would not trust your ancient friend, That to my acres and my trees you lend. Are you indicted for a breach of laws ? Go to my field, and let him plead your cause. "Want you a friend your banishment to ease ? Let my field travel with you, if he please. Hay. XXVI. TO LiETOEITIS, Alf AVAEICIOUS FEIEND. When you, a senator, go about knocking at sixty doors every morning, I appear in your estimation but a slothful knight, for not running all over the city from the first dawn of day, and bringing home, fatigued and worn out, some thousand kisses.^ But you do all this, that you may add a new name to the Fasti, or that you may be sent as governor to the Numidians or Cappadocians ; while, as to me, whom you persuade to break my slumbers unseasonably, and en- dure the morning mud, what have I to expect ? When my foot bursts out from my torn shoe, when a pelting shower of rain has suddenly drenched me, and when, on taking ofif my outer-coat, no servant answers my call, your slave comes up to my chilly ear, and says, " Lsetorius requests your company at dinner." What, at a dinner of which my share is worth twenty sesterces ? Not I. I "prefer my own scanty fare, rather than have a dinner for my reward, while yours is a province ; rather than that while our labour is the same, our gains should be so different. When in your borough you yourself bestir, I do appear to you an idle cur ; That by day-break I run not up and down, And kiss each voter's wife throughout the town By this you may gain credit in the nation ; Or be made governor of some plantation. But as for me, what end can I obtain ? Whom you compel to break my rest in vain, And early march along a dirty street, With scarce a shoe entire upon my feet : ^ See B. vii. Ep. 94 ; B. xi. Ep. 98. BOOK XII.] EPiaEAMS. 557 And if a sudden heavy shower descends, Without a boy, who with a cloak attends. Your servant whispers to me in this plight, ' His honour begs you'll sup with him to-night.' Had I not rather by myself keep Lent ? Let not our pains and pay be different ! Is it not hard, that this should be the case ? I but a supper get, and you a place. XXYII. OiN" SENIA. You say, Senia, that you were violated by robbers, but the robbers deny it. She ravish'd was by highwaymen, she cries : Flatly the fact each highwayman denies. Hay, XXVIII. TO CINKA. The size of the cups, Cinna, from which I drink, and that of those from which you drink, are in the proportion of seven to eleven ; and yet you complain that we do not drink the same sort of wine. I drink a pint ; a gallon you : for shame ! Can you complain, the wine is not the same ? Hay. XXIX. TO POSTICUS, OTf HEEMOGENES. Hermogenes, it seems to me, Ponticus, is as great a thief of napkins as Massa was of money. Even though you watch his right hand, and hold his left, he will find means to ab- stract your napkin. With like subtilty does the breath of the stag draw out the cold snake ; ^ and the rainbow exhale the waters from the clouds. Lately, while a respite was im- plored for Myrinus,^ who had been wounded in a conflict, Hermogenes contrived to filch four napkins. Just as the praetor was going to drop his white napkin, to start the horses in the circus, Hermogenes stole it. When at last nobody brought a napkin mth him, for fear of thefts, Hermogenes stole the cloth from the table. And should there be nothing of this kind to steal, Hermogenes does not hesitate to detach the ornaments from the couches,^ or the feet from the tables. ' Stags were said to draw serpents from their hiding-places, kill them with their horns, and then devour them. See Plin. H.N. xi. 83; iElian. Hist. An. ii. 9. * A gladiator » See B. viii. Ep. 33. 558 maetial's However immoderate may be tlie heat in tlie theatres, the awnings are withdrawn when Hermogenes makes his appear- ance. The sailors, in trembling haste, proceed to furl their sails whenever Hermogenes shows himself in the harbour. The bareheaded priests of Isis, clad in linen vestments, and the choristers who play the sistrum, betake themselves to flight when Hermogenes comes to worship. Hermogenes never took a napkin to dinner ; Hermogenes never came away from a dinner without one. XXX. 0]Jf APEE. Aper is abstemious and sober. "What is that to me ? For such a quality I praise my slave, not my friend. Tom never drinks : that I should much commend In Tom my coachman, but not Tom my friend. Hay. xxxT.' oiT maecella's gift to maetial. This grove, these fountains, this interwoven shade of the spreading vine ; this meandering stream of gurgling water ; these meadows, and these rosaries which will not yield to the twice-bearing Psestum ; these vegetables which bloom in the month of January, and feel not the cold ; these eels that swim domestic in the enclosed waters ; this white tower which afl'ords an asylum for doves like itself in colour ; all these are the gift of my mistress ; Marcella gave me this retreat, this little kingdom, on my return to my native home after thirty-five years of absence. Had Nausicaa offered me the gardens of her sire, 1 should have said to Alcinous, " I prefer my own." This grove ; these fountains ; tonsile Linden's shade ; Refreshing streams, by ductile waters made ; These flowering meadows, still like Eden gay ; These pot-herbs green, that dare the coldest day; This eelj which swims familiar to the sight ; This towering dove-house, cover'd with its flight ; I to my wife, after long absence, owe : 'Tis she this house, this kingdom, did bestow : Could I with the first fair have paradise, Blest as I am, the boon I would despis3. Hay. XXXII. TO YACEEEA, IN DEEISION OF HIS PEETEIfDED WEALTH. Oh disgrace of the Calends of July, I saw, Yacerra, I saw your chattels, which, refused by the landlord in discharge of BOOK XII.] EPIGEAMS. 559 two years' rent, were carried away by your wife, distinguisli- able by her seven carroty hairs, your hoary-headed mother, and your giantess of a sister. I thought at first they were Euries emerging from the shades of Pluto. They went be- fore, while you, wasted with cold and hunger, and paler than a piece of old box- wood, the very Irus of your day, followed. People might have thought that the Aricine Hill was migrat- ing. There went in procession a three-legged bed, a two footed table, a lamp, a horn cup, and a cracked chamber- pot, leaking through its side. Close to these was a rusty stove, the neck of a wine-vessel, and a jar, which its disgust- ing smell proved to have contained pilchards and decayed herrings, a smell like that wafted by the breeze from a pond of stagnant water. Nor was there wanting a slice of Toulouse cheese ; a garland, four years old, of black pennyroyal ; a rope of bald^ garlic and onions ; or a pot belonging to your mother, full of offensive resin, which the easy dames of the Suburra use at their toilette. Why are you looking about for a house and deluding agents,'^ when you may live for nothing, Yacerra? This pompous train of baggage just suits the bridge.* jest and shame of such as households move. When July comes, and do new dwellings prove ! 1 saw thy stuff, Vacer, thy stuff I saw, "Which, for thy rent, not seized on by law, Thy landlord rather glad such trash to spare, Thy red-faced wife, with seven red hairs, did bear, Helped by thy giant sister, and thy mother ; Men thought the furies there were got together ; For such their number was, and such their faces, That Pluto seem'd to have lent thee his three graces. The Irus of thy age, thou these didst follow, Thy skin, like seasoned box, distain'd and yellow ; With cold and hunger, also dry'd and parched : All beggars-bush, the people thought, had march'd. A two-legg'd table, and a three-legg'd bed There went ; a pan with fire, on thine own head. A sconce and goblet all of massy horn ; A jorden, itself pissing, as 'twas borne ; Stale sprats and pilchards could not be conceal'd, Their obscene scent their presence there reveal'd. ^ Having been over kept, and the outer skin peeled off. 2 Whom you have not the means of paying. ' The Aricine Bridge, frequented by beggars. B. x. Ep. 5. 560 maetial's Nor did there want to go in state with these, A cantle of unsav'ry Toulouse cheese ; A wisp of penyroyal, four years old ; A rope, which onions had, but pick'd, and bald ; A pot of turpentine, thy mother's care, The brothel dames with such fetch off their hair. Why mock'st thou landlords, and dost houses see, When gratis, Vacer, may thy dwelling be ? Such pomp of goods, such household stuff pertains To highways, hedges, bridges, and to lanes. Anon. XXXIII. OlS LABIENUS. lit pueros emeret Labienus, vendidit hortos : Nil nisi ficetum nunc Labienus habet. Labieno per comperar ragazzi, ha venduto gli orti : ora Labieno non ha altro che un ficajo. Graglia. XXXIT. TO JULirS MAETIALIS. ,Pour-and-thirty years, Julius, if I remember right, I passed in your society ; have shared your friendship, the delights of which were not unmixed with pain, but the pleasures prepon- derated. And if all the stones of different colours, that mark the several days, were placed in juxtaposition, the white would far exceed the black. Would you avoid many griefs, and escape heart-rendings, make of no one too dear a friend. You will have less joy, but your sorrow will be less. Julius, 'twas foure-and-thirty year That thou and I together were. Sweeter days were mix'd with soure, But yet the pleasanter were more. And if we should divide the time With a diverse-colour'd line, The white would over- vie the black. If thou wouldst shun the bitter smack, And stinging tortures of the mind, No man to thee do too much bind. Or too much in thy friend believe : • Thou shalt joy less, and less shalt grieve. Fletcher. We two, in fair and in foul weather. Thirty-four years have pass'd together : Nor sweet nor sour our cup did want ; Yet sweet hath been predominant : And, bring life's chequefd board to light, Fewer the spots of black than white. BOOK XII.] EPI&EAMS. 561 Would you shun many things to curse, And guard against the mind's remorse, With none too intimately live ; Less you'll rejoice, and less will grieve. Hay. XXXV. TO CALLISTEATTJS. Tamquam simpliciter mecum, Callistrate, vivas : Dicere prsecisum te mihi ssepe soles. Non es tarn simplex, quam vis, Callistrate, credi. JSTam quisquis narrat talia, plura tacet. O Callistrato, giusto come se tu fossi meco sincerissimo, suoli sovvente dirmi che sei stato precise. Non sei poi tanto sincere, quanto vuoi, o Callistrato, esser creduto ; imperocche, chiunque dice tali cose, ne tace le piu. Graglia, Open and frank you would to me appear, And tell some little fault, to seem sincere ; But your sincerity's not deep I feel : You tell a little, but you much conceal. Anon. Free from reserve you would to me appear. And tell me, you 're diseased, to seem sincere. But with a friend this is not dealing well ; For he must more conceal, who this could tell. Hay. XXXVI. TO LABULLTJS. Because no one but yourself, Labullus, gives a friend two or three pounds, a thin toga, and a scanty cloak, sometimes a few gold pieces, which you chink in your hand, and which are to last for a couple of months, you are not for that reason, believe me, a good man. "What then ? To speak the truth, the best of bad ones. G-ive us back our Pisos, and our Senecas, our Memmi and our Crispi, I mean those of old time, and you will forthwith become the last of good men. Do you wish to boast of your running, and swiftuess of foot ? Outstrip Tigris and the fleet Passerinus.^ Tliere is no glory in outstripping asses. Though you bestow upon a man of worth, A jacket, Joseph, dinner, or so forth ; A piece or two in hand, which soon must fail, And save but two months longer from a jail ; A.rid though scarce one besides yourself does thus ; Believe me, sir, you are not generous. ^ Probably are names of horses, 2 562 maetial's "What am I then ? say you. Why truly, I, sir, Think you at best a better sort of miser. Recall to mind the Pisos, Senecas ; Bounty, Tvhich is not now, but such as was ; Compar'd with them, how much are you surpass'd! Of all the generous men you are the last. If for N ewmarket plate you would contend ; 'Tis strength, 'tis swiftness, that must recommend. The glory is, from the best horse to gain ; Not to o'ertake an ass upon the plain. Say. XXXTII. TO A WIT AEOUT TOTO". You wish to be regarded as having an extremely good nose. I like a man with a good nose, but object to one with a polypus.^ XXXYIII. TO CAIfDIDTIS. You have no reason to fear yon person, Candidus, who, strut- ting about night and day, is well known throughout the city to the litters of the ladies, whose hair shines so brightly, and is darkened with unguents ; who is radiant in purple, of delicate feature, broad chest, and smooth limbs, and who con- stantly follows your wife with importunities. Pear him not, Candidus, he does not meddle in your department. XXXIX. TO SABELLUS. I hate you, Prettyman, because you are always acting the pretty fellow. A pretty fellow is a contemptible thing, and so is Prettyman. I prefer a manly man to Prettyman. May you wither away prettily, Prettyman. I hate your prettiness, Sabellus : 'Tis httle, so are you, Sabellus. I like a manly mien, Sabellus : But you live prettily, Sabellus, — Mayst thou die prettily, Sabellus. Anon. XL. TO POXTILIAIfTJS. You utter all sorts of falsehoods, Pontilianus ; I assent to them. You recite bad verses ; I praise them. You sing ; 1 do the same. You drink, Pontilianus ; I drink also. You are rude ; I pretend not to perceive it. You wish to play at ^ This epigram cannot be translated with exactness. What the Satire says is, you wish to be thought nasutus, properly, " having a large nose," but used in the sense of " having a good or keen nose." BOOK XII.] EPIGEAMS. 563 chess ; I allow myself to be beaten. There is one thing only which you do without me, and I hold my tongue on the sub- ject. Tet you never make me the slightest present. " "When I die," say you, " I shall remember you handsomely." I do not look for anything ; but die. I praise your doggerel verse : believe your lye : You sing, I sing: you drink, and so do I. You bet, I lose : we play, you win the game : One thing, you do without me, I don't name. And yet you nothing give me : when you die. You promise much : — but one more wish have I. Hay. XLI. TO TUCCA. You are not content, Tucca, to be a glutton. You long to be called and to appear a glutton. 'Tis not sufficient that thou drunk hast been. But thou desir'st so to be call'd and seen. Fletcher. XLII. OS CALLISTRATTJS KISJ) AEEB. The bearded Callistratus has been taken in marriage by the lusty Afer, in the same way as a virgin is usually taken in marriage by her husband. The torches shone forth, the flame- coloured veil concealed the bride's countenance, and the lan- guage heard at bridals was not wanting. Even the dowry was settled. Does not this seem yet enough to you, Eome ? Do you expect that the bride should present the spouse with pledges of affection ? XLIII. TO SABELLUS. Eacundos, mihi de libidinosis Legisti nimium, Sabelle, versus ; Quales nee Didymi sciunt puellae, Nee moUes Elephantidos libelli, Sunt illic Veneris novas figursB : Quales perditus audeat fututor. Prae stent, et taceant quid exoleti ; Quo symplegmate quinque copulentur ; Qua plures teneantur a catena ; Exstinctam liceat quid ad lucernam. Tanti non erat esse te disertum. Sabello, tu m'hai letto dei versi troppo facondi di cose hbidinose . che ne le ragazze di Didimo sanno, ne gli effeminate Elefantidi libri. 2 o 2 564 maetial's mm * Quivi sono nuove figure, clie il piu scatenato immembratore mai udi : che i vecchi libertini tacciono, e spiegano con quali attitudini cinque si copulino ; con qual modo-parecchi si congiunghino assieme cosa non sia lecito estinta la lucerna. La materia non era si sublime per comparire eloquente. Graglia. XLIT. TO TJlflCUS. TJnicus, name connected with me by ties of blood, and attached to me by similarity of pursuit ; while the verses which you write yield the palm only to those of your brother, you are not inferior to him in ability, and are superior to him in affection. Lesbia would have shared her love for the ten- der Catullus with you, sweet Corinna would have followed you next to her Ovid. Nor would the Zephyrs have refused their assistance, had you been pleased to spread wide your sails, but you prefer the shore. This too is a peculiarity which you have from your brother. We both in name and blood allyed are, And to like studies like affection bear : Thy brother's verse when thine thou set'st before. Thy art's not less, but piety is more : '\yhen thee Corinna, Lesbia would admire, Equal to those they did themselves inspire : When, if thou'dst spread thy wings, a brisker au', And loftier numbers none e'er higher bear : Thou flag'st thy plumes, restrain'st thy soaring vein, And sheVst thyself a brother here again. Anon. 1695. XLY. TO PHCEBUS. It was not without wit, Phoebus, that a person said of you, when you covered your bald pate and temples with a kid's skin, that your head was well shod. "V^Tien to secure your bald pate from the weather, You lately wore a cap of black neats' leather ; He was a very wag, who to you said, ' Why do you wear your slippers on your head ? ' Hay. XLYI. TO CLASSICUS. G-allus and Lupercus seU their poems ; no longer deny, Classicus, common sense to poets. When Scribbler makes us for his verse subscribe, All are not mad of the poetic tribe. Hay. BOOK XII.] EPIGEAMS. 565 XLYIT. ON" A EEIET^D. You are at once morose and agreeable, pleasing and re- pulsive. I can neither live with you, nor without you. Thou'rt merry, sad ; easy, and hard to please ; Nor with nor from thee can I live at ease. Wright. In all thy humours, whether grave or mellow, Thou'rt such a touchy, testy, pleasant fellow ; Hast so much wit, and mirth, and spleen about thee. There is no living with thee, or without thee. Addison, Spectator, No. 68. Our Garriek's a salad : for in him we see Oil, vinegar, sugar, and saltness agree. Goldsmiih^s Retaliation. XLYTII. TO A HOST. If you put on table before me mushrooms and wild boar as common fare, and do not presume that such dishes are the object of my prayers, it is well ; but if you imagine that by them I am made happy, and expect to get yourself inscribed in my will, as my heir, in return for some half-dozen Lucrine oysters, good-bye to you. Yet your dinner is a handsome one, I admit, most handsome, but to-morrow nothing of it will re- main ; nay, this very day, in fact this very moment, there is nothing of it but what a common sponge at the end of a mop-stick, or a famished dog, or any street convenience can ■ take away. Of mullets and hares and sow's teats, the result is cadaverous complexion and gouty feet. In my estimation, no Alban revel,^ no feasts in the Capitol, nor banquets of the chief priests, would be worth so much. "Were Jupiter himself to give me nectar on such conditions, it would turn to vinegar, and the cheating trash of a Vatican cask. Seek other guests, Sir Host, who may be caught by the regal sumptuousness of your table ; as for me, I prefer a friendly invitation to a hastily arranged little dinner : it is such a re- past as I can return that pleases me. As common fare, when sausages and chine You place before me, I with pleasure dine. But if you think to please me ; or conceive By soups to be my heir ; I take my leave. ^ In allusion to the banquets of Domitian on the Alban hill. 566 Martial's Your dinner's nice, extremely nice, I own ; Yet it is nought the moment it is down. Perchance, it to a dirty mop may fall, A hungry dog, close-stool, or urinal. In what ends mullet, hare, and season'd meat ? In ashy countenance, and gouty feet. Dear at that rate the most delicious cheer : A coronation feast by much too dear ! Think you, when you your Burgundy do pour, You honour me ? the thought will turn it sour. Proud entertainer, seek another guest To praise the regal splendour of your feast. Me let a friend to a chance scrap receive : I like a dinner such as I can give. Hay. XLIX. TO LINUS, A TTJTOE. O Linus, preceptor of the long-haired troop, whom the rich Postumilla calls the lord of her fortune, and to whom she intrusts gems, gold, plate, wines, favourites : so may your patroness prefer you to all others, having made proof of your lasting fidelity, as you grant to my prayer the indulgence of my wretched desires, and keep at times but a negligent watch over those objects which have taken possession of my heart, which in my longing I pray day and night to clasp as my own — beautiful, snow-white, equal in size, twins, large — not slaves, but pearls. Thou master of Tete de Mouton, Thou Calverly of high renown, To whom my Lady Wealthy sent, Her girl with every ornament. Long be you famous for your care ; And mothers you to all prefer. Pity on me, some pity, have, To a strong passion quite a slave. Nor guard so close what I admire, And what hath set my heart on fire : Which night and day I long to hold ; And eager on my breast infold : Bright, sparkling, lively, lovely, fair. — I speak of miss's solitaire. Hay. L. TO THE POSSESSOR OE A BEAUTIFUL DOMAIN. Ton are distinguished for possessing laurel-groves, avenues of plane-trees, towering cypresses, and most capacious bathe BOOK XII.] EPIGEAMS. 567 Tour Idfty portico stands on a hundred columns, and is paved with polished marble. The swift-footed horse makes your dusty hippodrome resound with his hoofs, and the mur- mur of fountains is heard on every side. Tour halls are spacious and extensive ; but there are no chambers either for dining or for sleep. How pleasantly you do not live ! None equal you in trees for ever green : Your bath's the most majestic can be seen : Your colonnade is lofty, spacious, fine : And under-foot your marble pavements shine : Round your wide park the fleeting courser bounds : Many cascades salute us with their sounds : Apartments grand : no place to eat or sleep ! "What a most noble house you do not keep. Hay. So thick your planes and laurels spread, And cypress groves so near the head High in the air ; your baths so wide Expand their stream on every side. They'd shade and bathe full half the town ; Yet shades and baths are all your own. Your porch an hundred columns soars ; You tread on alabaster floors ; The race-horse beats your dusty ring ; Fountains, with ever-wasting spring. Fall on the ear with gliding sound, And spacious courts are opening round. 'Tis all so grand and so complete. There is no room to sleep or eat : How excellently lodged, sir, here In this no-lodging you appear ! Elton. LI. TO AULTJS. Are you astonished, Aulus, that our friend Fabullinus is so frequently deceived ? A good man has always something to learn in regard to fraud. "Wonder you, Meanwell is so often bit ? An honest man's a child in worldly wit. Hay, LII. TO SEMPROTTIA, AN EPITAPH OK HER HUSBAND RIJFUS. Here, Sempronia, lies your late husbaud Eufus, whose brows were wreathed with Pierian chaplets, and whose elo- quence in defence of dejected criminals was renowned ; his very ashes burn with love for you. Tou are tlie theme of 568 maetial's admiration in the Elysian fields, and Helen herself marvels at the story of your abduction. Tou are superior to her, as you deserted him who overcame you, and returned, but she would not follow her husband, even when he sought to regain her. Menelaus smiles, and listens to these new Trojan-like amours ; the violence done to you excuses the Phrygian Paris. When the joyful asylum of the pious shall one day receive you, there will be no shade in the Stygian abodes better known than yourself. Proserpina does not look with aversion upon fair ones that have been x^arried off, but loves them. Tour amour will gain you the queen's favour. He that his brows deck'd with the muses' crown, Whose voice to guilty men no less was known, Sempronia, here thy Rufus, here is laid. Whose dust even with thy love still drives a trade. 'Mongst the blest shades thy story he doth bear, And Helen's self thy rape admires to hear : Thou better from thy spoiler didst return, She, though redeem'd, did after Troy still burn. Menelaus laughs and hears the Ilian loves, Thy rape old Paris' guilt forgives,' removes. And when thee those bless'd mansions shall receive No shade greater acquaintance there shall have. Proserpina loves although she cannot see Such rapes, that love shall make her kind to thee. Fletcher. LIII. TO PATEENUS. Although you possess abundance of money and wealth, Paternus, such as but few other citizens possess, you never make any present, and brood over your hoard like the great dragon, which the poets sing of as the guardian of the Scythian grove. The cause, as you yourself allege and boast, is the dire rapacity of your son. Pray are you looking for fools and novices to beguile and delude ? To this vice you have ever been a father. When thou hast so much coin and wealth with thee- That seldom citizens or fathers see. Yet are not liberal, but thy heaps hang'st o'er Like the great dragon, whom the bards of yore Feign'd to be keeper of the Scythian grove, But the base cause of this thy muck-worm love, Thou brag'st and dost pretend thy son to be : Why dost delude us with this foolery. BOOK XII.] EPIGRAMS. As though we blocks or idiots had been ? Thou wast a father ever to this sin. Fletcher. LIT. TO ZOILrS. With red hair, a black face, a cloven foot, and blear eyes, you show the world a prodigy, Zoilus, if you are an honest man. Red-hair'd, black-faced, club-footed, and blear-eyed, Zoilus, 'tis much if thou art good beside. Fletcher, Red-hair, black-mouth, badger-legs, blind, I see ; Be, Zoilus, good, and the world's wonder be. Wright. Thy beard and head are of a different dye : Short of one foot, distorted in an eye ; With all these tokens of, a knave complete Shouldst thou be honest thou'rt a dev'lish cheat. Addison, Spectator, No. 86. LY. TO THE EAIE SEX. Grratis qui dare vos jubet puellse, Insulsissimus, improbissimusque est. Gratis ne date, basiate gratis. Hoc ^gle negat, hoc avara vendit. Sed vendat bene, basiare quantum est. BCoc vendit quoque nee levi rapina : Aut libram petit ilia cosmiani, Aut binos quater a nova moneta : Ne sint basia muta, nee maligna, ' Ne clusis aditum neget labellis. Humane facit hoc tamen ; sed unum est. Gratis quae dare basium recusat, Gratis lingere nee recusat ^gle. O Zitelle, colui che vi stimola a darvi per niente e un temerario ed un' indegno. Non datevi per niente, baciate per niente. Egle disaprova questo : avara lo vende. Ma ch' essa venda, quanto puo il bacitara, sta bene. Essa vende anche quella cosa, ne con lieve rapina: o essa dimanda una libra d'unguento Cosmiano, owero flavii della nuova moneta : accio i baci non sieno muti, ne dispia- centi, non ricusera I'adito alle chiuse labra. Tuttavia questo lo fa per risguardi ma c'e una cosa : Egle che ricusa dare un bacio per niente, non ricusa lingere per niente. Graglia. LYI. TO POLTCHAEMITS. You fall sick ten times or more in the course of a year ; a practice which inconveniences, not yourself, Polycharmus, 570 maetial's but us; for every time you leave your bed, you exact the customary presents of congratulation from your friends. Have some consideration : fall sick at length, Polycharmus, once for all. Thou ten times in a year art sick, or more ; This is not thine, my friend, but 'tis om- sore. No sooner well but for thy gifts dost call. Blush : pry'thee once be sick for good and all. FletcKer. LYII. TO SPAESUS. Tou ask why I so often go to my small domain at arid Nomentum and the humble household at my farm ? There is no place in town, Sparsus, where a poor man can either think or rest. One cannot live for schoolmasters m the morning, com grinders at night, and braziers' hammers all day and night. Here the money-changer indolently rattles piles of Nero's rough coins on his dirty counter ; there a beater of Spanish gold^ belabours his worn stone with shining mallet. Nor does the fanatic rabble of Bellona cease from its clamour, nor the gabbling sailor with his piece of wreck hung over his shoulder ; nor the Jew boy, brought up to begging by his mother, nor the blear-eyed huckster of matches. Who can enumerate the various interruptions to sleep at Eome ? As well might you tell how many hands in the city strike the cymbals, when the moon under eclipse is assailed with the sound of the Colchian magic rhomb. '-^ Tou, Sparsus, are ignorant of such things, living, as you do, in luxurious ease on your Petilian domain ;^ whose mansion, though on a level plane, overlooks the lofty hills which surround it ; who enjoy the country in the city^ (rws in urhe), with a Eoman^ vine-dresser, and a vintage not to be surpassed on the Faler- nian mount. "Within your own premises is a retired carriage drive ; in your deep recesses sleep and repose are unbroken by the noise of tongues : and no daylight penetrates unless purposely admitted. But I am awakened by the laughter of the passing crowd ; and all Eome is at my bed-side. When- 1 Some editors read paludis, " marsh-rushes," instead of balucis. 2 See B. ix. Ep. 30. 2 In Petiliajiis regnis. A magnificent villa on the Janiculum that formerly belonged to Lucius Petilius, a rich lawyer. * This now common saying is supposed to have been first used by Mar- tial. * As living within the compass of the city. BOOK XII.] EPIGRAMS. 571 ever, overcome witli weariness, I long for repose, I repair to my country-house. Why to a homely cottage I retire, On a dry spot, not far from Harrow spire ? Because a man, so poor as I, may creep Round town ; nor find a hole to think of sleep. Is it to Hve ? to lodge as in a mill : Disturb'd each morn by chimney-sweepers shrUl : With pewterers' hammers tinkling in one's ears : With alley jobbers crying bulls and bears. Here Irish bog-trotters, now paviors grown, Ram with loud hems and thump the shining stone. There soldiers marching to their duty come, With trumpets sounding, and with beat of drum. Dunn'd by a sailor with a wooden leg ; Or little Palatine brought up to beg. Stunn'd by a train of ragged dirty wretches, Hawking a Grub-street paper, or card matches. The ways to lose one's sleep whoever tells. Might count the changes on St. Martin's bells. But you, my lord, know none of all this iU, "Whose palace looks o'er Constitution Hill. Your rus in urhe delicately j-ields A prospect fair o'er Chelsea's twice-mow'd fields. Within your gate a yard to turn a coach : Your chamber safe from noise and day's approach. No passing mob with idle jokes to noise it ; Nor lodging-room with London for its closet. Fatigued with aU this hubbub, far we fly it, To pass in country cot the night in quiet. Hay. LVIII. TO ALAUDA. Tour wife, Alauda, calls you a courter of slaves, while she herself runs after litter-bearers. You are on an equal foot- ing. LIX. OK IMPORTUNATE FRIENDS. Rome gires, on one's return after fifteen years' absence, such a number of kisses^ as exceeds those given by Lesbia to Catullus. Every neighbour, every hairy -faced farmer, presses on you with a strongly-scented kiss. Here the weaver assails you, there the fuller and the cobbler, who has just been kiss- ing leather ; here the owner of a filthy beard, and a one-eyed 1 See B. xi. Ep. 99. 572 MARTIAL'S gentleman ; there one witli bleared eyes, and fellows whose mouths are defiled with all manner of abominations. It was hardly worth while to return. LX. TO HIS BIETHDAT. day, nursling of Mars,^ on which I first beheld the rosy light of Aurora, and the broad face of the sun, shouldst thou feel shame at being celebrated in the country, and at an altar of turf, who usedst to be celebrated by me in the city of E-ome, be indulgent, if I am unwilling to be a slave upon my own birthday, and if I wish to live,^ on the day on which I received life. Hail, Taffi's day ! on which my race begun : On which I first beheld the glorious sun. That day I now in rural ease will spend ; In banquet whilom pass'd with many a friend. No longer slave to forms, I will contrive, Upon that day, which gave me life, to live. Is it to keep the day ? in pain to sup, About Sir Harry's hock, and Ned's spice-cup ; Anxious the punch well zested be, and bright : The tables, dishes, company placed right. Rising each moment during the whole feast ; And catching cold to compliment each guest, "Were this commanded, we should not comply : Why therefore choose such formal slavery. Hay. LX. B. Olf THE SAME. To grow pale with anxiety on one's birthday, lest SabeUus should not be supplied with hot water, and Alauda not have clear wine to drink ;3 to strain turbid Caecuban anxiously through linen filters, and to run to and fro among one's tables ; to receive this guest and that, and to be getting up all dinner- time from one's place, and treading upon marble pavement colder than ice ; what is the reason that you should endure all these annoyances of your own choice, when, if a rich friend and patron were to impose them on you, you would refuse to submit to them ? ^ Martial was born on the first day of March, Mars's month. See B. ix. Ep. 52. 2 To enjoy life free from the distractions of the city, 3 Sabellus and Alauda are names of guests whom he would have had to entertain if he had stayed at Rome. BOOE: XII.] EPIGEAMS. 573 LXI. TO LIGTJREA. You are afraid, Ligurra, lest I should compose verses on you, some short and pungent epigram, and you wish to be thought a proper object of such fear. But vain is your fear, and vain your desire ! Libyan lions rush upon bulls ; they do not hurt butterflies. If you aim at getting your name into verse, seek, I advise you, some sot of a poet from some dark den, who writes, with coarse charcoal and crumbling chalk, verses which people read as they ease themselves. Your brow is not to be branded with my mark. You dread my verse, and sting of wit, Which put you in a shaking fit : Would seena of rank to entertain Such fears : your fears and hopes are vain. 'Tis at the bull that lions fly, '. While rats run unregarded by. Find other poets, if you long To be the burden of a song : Some drunken bard from Grub-street hole, Who, with a piece of chalk or coal, May draw a line or two of satire. Which we may read in easing nature. Your coxcomb may deserve the burden, Not of my verse, but of my jorden. Hay. Imitation, applied to Sir Imgo Jones. Sir Inigo doth fear it, as I hear. And labours to seem worthy of that fear. That I should write upon him some sharp verse, Able to eat into his bones, and pierce Their marrow. Wretch ! I quit thee of thy pain, Thou 'rt too ambitious, and dost fear in vain : The Libyan lion hunts no butterflies. He makes the camel and dull ass his prize. Seek out some hungry painter, that for bread With rotten coal or chalk upon the wall Will well design thee to be view'd of all ; Thy forehead is too narrow for my brand. Ben Jonson. LXII. TO SATTIEN, 02T BEHALF OF PRISCUS TEEEIS'TIUS. Great king of the ancient world, and of the primitive state of things, under whose rule quiet repose prevailed, and labour was unknown ; nor was the thunder-bolt of Jove frequentlj L 574 maetial'3 used, nor lived there those who were deserving of it ; and the earth yielded its riches, without being cloven down to the infernal regions ; come, propitious and gracious, to this solemn festival of Priscus ; it befits thee to be present at thy own sacred rites. Thou restorest him to his country,^ glorious father, in the sixth winter, from the Latian city^ of the pacific Numa. Dost thou observe how like Eoman luxury the festal array is spread, and how great splendour is shown in gay profusion ? how unsparing the hand, and the coins on the rich table, the wealth, Saturn, which is counted for thee ? And that thy beneficence and favour for these deserts may be greater, it is both a father and a careful man that thus magni- ficently celebrates thy festival. But mayst thou, venerable deity, be ever thus greeted with proofs of affection, in Decem- ber ; mayst thou bid this season frequently return to him. LXIII. TO COEDOVA. Cordova, spot more delightful than rich Yenafrum, unsur- passed in fertility by the olive-bearing Istria,^ richer in sheep than the pellucid Gralsesus,* and that deceives not with purple or red dye, but hast thy flocks tinged by nature ; command, I pray you, that poet of yours to have some sense of modesty, and not to recite my compositions without having paid me for them. I could have borne his proceedings, if he had been a good poet, on whom I could have made reprisal, but he is a bachelor who destroys my peace without giving me the op- portunity of revenge. A blind man cannot be retaliated upon for the loss of sight of which he deprives another. Nobody is more reckless than a plunderer, who has nothing to lose ; nobody more secure than a bad poet. O Grub-street ! fam'd for dying speech. And many a scrap to wipe the breech : With pamphlet and with journal vying In downright, true blue, native lying : Pray tell your shameless bard, who gratis Repeats my works, that his plus fatis. From a good poet such behaviour I'd bear, and might return the favour. ^ Spain. 2 Rome. ' ' Histrd nee minius absohita testa. " Not less perfect than the (olive) jar of Histria." The best olives were produced at Vanafrum in Cam- pania ; the next best in Istria. ■* See B. ii. Ep. 43. BOOK XII.] EPIGEAMS. 575 When batchelors supply your place, There's no retaliating the case. If a blind man beats out your eye. You can't return the injury. As beggars are from suits insured ; So a bad poet is secured. Hay. LXTY. OlS CINNA. Cinna made one of his rosy attendants, who surpassed all the others in beauty of feature and hair, his cook. Cinna is a luxurious personage. LXT. ON PHYLLIS. During a whole night of pleasure, the beauteous Phyllis had shown herself kind to me in every way ; and, as I was thinking in the morning what present to make her, whether a pound of Cosmus' or ISTiceros' perfumes, or a piece of fine Spanish wool, or ten yellow coins of Domitian, she threw her arms round my neck, and caressing me with a long kiss, like those of amorous doves, proceeded to ask me for — a jar of wine. To charming Cselia's arms I flew, And there all night I feasted ; No god such transports ever knew, No mortal ever tasted. Lost in the sweet tumultuous joy. And pleas'd beyond expressing, How can your slave, my fair, said I, Reward so great a blessing ? The whole creation's wealth survey; Through both the Indies wander ; Ask what brib'd senates give away. And fighting monarchs squander. The richest spoils of earth and air ; The rifled ocean's treasure ; 'Tis all too poor a bribe by far To purchase so much pleasure. She blushing cried, my life, my dear, Since CsBlia thus you fancy. Give her, but 'tis too much, I fear, A rundlet of right Nancy. Tom Brown, With me fair Phyllis pass'd the night And strove to please with new delight : 576 maetial's As at the dawn I musing lay How all her favours to repay, In china ware, or tea, or snuff, Or in some gaudy piece of stuff ; She clasp' d my neck and chuck'd my chin, And softly begg'd a quart of gin. Gentleman^s Magazine. LXYI. TO AMOBNUS. Though your house cost you a hundred thousand sesterces, you pretend to be willing to sell it for even a smaller sum. But you are seeking, Amoenus, to over-reach your purchaser by art and cunning, for your house is hidden amid the rich furniture v^ith which it is gorgeously adorned. Couches gemmed with tortoise-shell, and valuable solid furniture of citron-wood from Africa, glitter at the entrance ; silver and gold vases are supported upon a Delphic table of extra- ordinary beauty, and slaves stand by whom I would will- ingly pray to be my masters. Then you talk of two hundred thousand sesterces, and say that it cannot be had for less. You offer a house so exquisitely furnished, Amoenus, at a low price. ^ LXVII. OJSr THE BIETH-DAY OF TIEQIL. Te, Ides of May, gave birth to Mercury. Diana's birth- day recurs on the Ides of August. "Virgil has consecrated the Ides of October. Thou who celebratest the Ides of the great Maro, mayst thou often celebrate both the first and the second ! LXYIII. TO HIS CLIENTS. O clients, that beset me in the morning, and who were the cause of my departure from Eome, frequent, if you are wise, the lordly mansions of the city. I am no lawyer, nor fitted for pleading troublesome causes, but inactive, somewhat ad- vanced in years, and a votary of the Pierian sisters. I wish to enjoy repose and slumber, which great Eome denied ; but I must return thither, if I am to be equally hunted here. Thou morning client, this is my retreat ; Go to the town and palace of the great. ^ Amoenus adorned his house, which he had bought too dear, with valuable furniture, merely to set it off, and to induce a purchaser to give him a higher price for it than he would have given had it been empty. BOOK XII.] EPIGRAMS. 577 No lawyer I that can your cause defend ; But old, and idle, and the muse's friend. Ease and repose I love ;. but if in vain I seek them here ; why not to town again ? Hay. LXIX. TO PATJLLTJS. You have friends, Paullus, just like your pictures and yases, all antique originals.^ Thy friends, Paullus, just unto thee relate, Like to some famous works in paint or plate : Thy honour 'tis, such pieces to retain. But in return they receive nought again. Anon. 1695. LXX. OlS" APER, SOBER WHEN POOR, INEBRIATED WHEN RICH. When recently a miserable bow-legged slave used to carry Aper's linen to the bath for him, and a one-eyed old woman sat on his paltry toga to guard it, while a herniose bathing man supplied him with his drop of oil, he used to be a severe and unsparing censor of drunkards. " Break your cups, and throw away your Falernian," he would exclaim to any knight who drank anything on leaving the bath. But since three hundred thousand sesterces came to him from his old uncle, he cannot go home from the warm baths sober. Oh what power jewelled cups and a retinue of five long-haired servants have ! Aper, as long as he was a poor man, did not suffer from thirst. Tom had a lad lame with a broken thigh ; And an old housekeeper with but one eye : On greasy steaks from chop-house did regale ; And against drunkards most devoutly rail. Did you for bottles after dinner call ; He damn'd the bottles, glasses, wine, and all. Now an estate is from an uncle come ; He from the tavern ne'er goes sober home; Such the effect of plate and lacqueys five ! When poor, Tom was the soberest man alive. Hay. 1 The meaning is, either that Paullus regarded his friends as he regarded his antique treasures, bestowing nothing more on the one than on the other ; or that he sought to make friends only of old men, from whom he hoped shortly to obtain legacies. In either acceptation, it is a satire on PauUus's avarice. 2 p 578 maetial's LXXI. TO LTGDUS. You refuse me, Lygdus, everything I ask ; but there was a time, Ljgdus, when you refused me nothing.^ LXXII. TO PAKIS^ICTJS, WHO HAD QUITTED THE BAE TO BECOME FARMER. Having purchased the acres of a little obscure farm near the Sepulchres,^ and a badly constructed cabin with a propped- up roof, you leave the litigations of the town, Pannicus, which were your farm, and the scanty but certain profits of the worn toga. As a lawyer you used to sell wheat, millet, barley, and beans ;^ now, as a farmer, you buy them. A Httle farm you purchase near the town, With a poor timber house, just dropping down, And business quit, a better farm by far ; I mean the certain profits of the bar. Of wheat, oats, beans, and barley, large supplies The lawyer got ; which now the farmer buys. Hay. LXXIII. TO CATULLUS. Ton tell me, Catullus, that I am youi* heir. I shall not believe it, Catullus, till I read it. I am thy heir, Catullus ; thou hast said it ; But I will not believe it till I 've read it. Fletcher. LXXIY. TO ELACCUS, WITH A PRESENT OE GLASS CUPS, CALLED CALICES AUDACES, "AUDACIOUS CUPS." ^ Although the Nile vessels bring you goblets of crystal, yet accept some cups from the Flaminian circus. Are these cups the more audacious, or those who send such presents r But there is a double advantage in the use of these common vessels ; no thief is allured, Maccus, by such specimens of art, and they are not cracked by over-heated water. Nay more, the guest drinks without disturbing the peace of the attendant, and trembling hands have no fear lest they should fall. This too is something, that if, after a toast, you must break your cup, Flaccus, you will propose it in one of these vessels. 1 See B. xi. Ep. 73 ; B. iv. Ep. 12. ^ The place where the Gauls were buried in the time of Camillas. 3 From the presents made you by your clients. * See B. xiv. Ep. 94. BOOK XII.] EPIGRAMS. o79 Though ships from China bring you cup and jar ; Accept this mug of homely Lambeth ware. Bold is the man, who such a present sends ; Though a cheap pot may answer several ends. A thief for this will hardly risk his neck : Nor easily will scalding water break. The servant brings it in no pain at all, Nor have you any, lest you let it fall. You pledge not him, you think has a disease, But drop the cup, and break it, if you please. Hay. LXXV. OS HIS rAVOURITES. Pestinat Polytimus ad puellas : Invitiis puerum fatetur Hymnus : Pastas glande nates habet Secundus. Mollis Dindymus est, sed esse non vult : Ampbiou potuit puella nasci. Horum delicias, superbiamque, Et fast us querulos, amice, male, Quam dotis mihi quinquies ducena. Politimo s'impazienta per le zitelle : Imno si confessa non ancor atto a suo dispetto : Secondo ha le natiche nudrite di ghiande. Dindimo e effeminato, ma non vuol esserlo : Anfione dice che poteva nascere una zitella. O amico, amo meglio le delizie e I'or- goglio di costoro, e la loro querule fierezza, che una dote di cinque volte ducento milla sesterzi. Graglia. LXXVI. ON" THE FAEMEES. The amphora of wine sells for twenty sesterces, a bushel of corn for four. The husbandman, intoxicated and over-fed, makes nothing.^ LXXYII. ON AETHON. While Aetbon was praying in the Capitol, with many a supplication, to Jupiter, and with up-turned eyes was bowing to his very feet, he let wind escape behind. The bystanders laughed, but the father of the gods was offended, and con- demned his worshipper to dine at home for three successive days. After this accident, the unhappy Aethon, when he wishes to enter the Capitol, goes first to Patroclus' house of ^ Is ruined. Such is the cheapness of provisions, that he eats and drinks the produce of his land rather than sell it. 2 p 2 580 maetial's convenience, and relieves himself by some ten or twenty dis- m charges. But, notwithstanding this precaution, he is careful I never to address Jove again without being tightly compressed in the rear. While Spintext, in his sermon long and loud, • On tip-toe catechis'd the listening crowd ; He from the pulpit wind behind let jBy. The congregation lost their gravity. Th' offended bishop did the thing resent : A cruel penance Spintext underwent : Doom'd to his lordship's board no more to come ; But on light diet live three months at home. And 'tis with Spintext now a constant rule, Before he mounts the desk, to go to stool. And after all that caution, less does mind His prayers at church, than to hold fast behind. JHay. LXXYIII. TO BITHTNICUS. I have written nothing against you, Bithynicus. Are you unwilling to believe me, and require me to swear ? I prefer to give you another sort of satisfaction.^ LXXIX. TO ATTICILLA. I have granted you much that you asked : I have granted you more than you asked : and yet you never cease to ask of me. He who refuses nothing, Atticilla, will soon have nothing to refuse. LXXX. ON CALLISTEATUS. Callistratus, making no distinction as to merit, praises everybody. To him, in whose eyes no one is bad, who can appear good ? Lest that Callistratus should not Praise worthy men, he praises all : He thinks that no one hath a blot ; "Whom can he then a good man call ? Fktcher. Through servile flattery thou dost all commend : Who cares to iiilease whom no man can offend ? Anon. LXXXI. OS UMBER. In winter-time, and at the festival of Saturn, Umber used ^ I had rather write something against you, as I now do, than swear that I have written nothing. BOOK XII.] EPIGEAMS, 581 to send me of his poverty a light dress; now he sends me a light mess of furmitj, for he has become rich. In winter-time and Saturn's holy days, Umber, when poor, did me present always With finest wheat : but now with coarser grain, For he's grown rich, and made a man of gain. Fletcher. ' LXXXII. OlS MEIfOGElS-ES, A SEEKEE OE INYITATIONS TO DINI^EE. To escape Menogenes at the baths, hot or cold, is quite impossible, although you try every art to do so. He will catch up your warm ball with eager hands, that he may lay you under obligation for having several times stopped it. He will pick up the foot-ball, Avhen collapsed, out of the dirt, and bring it you, even though he may have just bathed and have his slippers on. If you bring linen with you,^ he will declare it whiter than snow, even though it be 'dirtier than a child's bib. If you comb your scanty hair with the toothed ivory, he will say that you have arranged your tresses like those of Achilles. He will himself bring you the fetid dregs of the smoky wine jar,^ and will even re- move the perspiration from your forehead. He will praise everything, admire everything about you, until, after having patiently endured a thousand tortures, you utter the invita- tion, " Come and dine !" To breakfast if to Ranelagh you stray. And Supple meet, he's not shook off that day. The boiling kettle with both hands he'll seize '; And hand the cakes ; that you may sit at ease. In the canal the wind your beaver blows ; To take it out, he ventures over shoes. If you take snuff; your box he magnifies, Although of iron, and of lowest price. Then with his comb will set young master's hair : And swear, no wig can with those k)cks compare. Attends him to the necessary place ; And wipes a drop of sweat from off his face. All he admires and praises ; till in fine Fatigued you cry, " To-day, pray, with us dine." Hay. \ To the bath. Comp. Ep. 70. 2 Which they used in the bath, says Rader, either to promote perspira- tion, or to provoke vomiting before dinner. 582 maetial's lxxxiii. os rabiat^tjs. Fabianus, who used to make merry at the expense of hernise, and whom all dreaded when he derided swelling hy- droceles with more pungency even than two Catulli together would have done, suddenly found himself, miserable wretch, in the warm baths of jN'ero, and then became silent. LXXXIV. TO POLTTIMTJS, I was long unwilling, Polytimus, to violate your locks with the scissors;^ but now I am glad that I yielded in this re- spect to your entreaties. Such was Pelops when, newly shorn, he shone forth with shortened tresses, that his betrothed might see the whole of his ivory shoulders.^ LXXXV. TO FABTJLLIJS. Paediconibus os olere dicis. Hoc si, sicut ais, Pabulle, verum est, Quid tu credis olere cunnilingis Tu di che la bocca sente cattivo ai sodomiti. Se questo, come tu dici, o Fabullo, e vero, che credi tu che senta ai cunnilingi ? Graglia. LXXXYI. TO A:N" HOMME BLASE. Triginta tibi sunt pueri, totidemque puellae : Una est, nee surgit mentula. Quid facies ? Tu hai trenta ragazzi, ed altre tante ragazze ; tu hai una sol mentola, ne si rizza. Che farai ? Graglia. LXXXYII. TO COTTA. Cotta, complaining that he had twice lost his slippers through the negligence of his servant, who attends him about, and is the poor creature's only valet and escort, hit upon a plan, like a shrewd and cunning fellow, by which he might avoid such a loss for the future. He began to go out to dinner without slippers.^ Twice to have lost thy shoes, thou dost complain, While that a negligent slave thou didst retain, And he thy whole retinue, and thy train. Wise on thy loss, and crafty thou didst grow, And to avoid being often choused so, Thou after bare-foot didst to supper go. Anon. 1695. ^ See B. V. Ep. 49 ; B. i. Ep. 32. ^ Made of ivory by Ceres. 3 From poverty. BOOK XII.] EPIGEAMS. 583 LXXXYIII. 01^ TOIfGILIANUS. Tongilianus has a nose, I know, and don't deny it. But Tongilianus has, I know that too, nothing else but a nose,^ LXXXIX. TO CHABINirS, GEOWII^a BALD. When you wrap your head in flannel, Charinus, it is not your ears that trouble you, but your hair. Charinus, 'cause thou bind'st thy head with wool, 'Tis not thy ears that grieve ; 'tis thy bald skull. Fletcher. XC. OjS" MAEO. Maro, on behalf of his old friend, whose semitertian fever was severe and at its height, made a vow, but in a loud voice, so as to be overheard, that, if he were not sent to the Stygian Shades, a grateful victim should fall before gTeat Jove. The doctors began to promise certain recovery. Maro now makes new vows, that he may avoid paying the former. Wealthy was of a fever like to die ; When a most solemn vow was made by Sly : If his friend Wealthy gave not up the ghost, A church he'd build at his own proper cost. Wealthy gets well : thinks Sly, left in the lurch, Since private prayer prevail'd, there need no church. Harj. XCI. TO MAGULLA. Since, MaguUa, you have couch and favourite, iu common with your husband, tell me why you have not your cup-bearer in common. You sigh : the reason is, you fear the cup.^ XCII. TO PEISCUS. You often ask me, Priscus, what sort of person I should be, if I were to become suddenly rich and powerful. Who can determine what would be his future conduct ? Tell me, if you were to become a Hon, what sort of a lion would you be ? . Priscus, you've often ask'd me how I'd live, Should Fate at once both wealth and honour give ; What soul his future conduct can foresee? Tell me what sort of lion you would be. F. Lewis, Motto to the \12nd liamhler. ^ Either hecaiise he was too much given to sneering ; see B. i. Ep. 3 ; or because he was always smelling out good dinners. Comp. Ep. 37. 2 Lest it should be poisoned 584 Martial's What would I do, the question you repeat, ^ If on a sudden I were rich and great ? Who can himself with future conduct charge ? s What would you do, a lion, and at large ? Hay. XCIII. Olf rABTJLLA. FabuUa has found out a way to kiss her lover in the pre- sence of her husband. She has a little fool whom, she kisses over and over again, when the lover immediately seizes hiim while he is still wet with the multitude of kisses, and sends him back forthwith, charged with his own to his smiling mis- tress. How much greater a fool is the husband than the professed fool ! My lady Modish doth this way devise, To kiss her spark before her husband's eyes. She slavers o'er her little boy with kisses, And the gallant receives the reeking blisses : Then to the little cupid gives a smack ; And to his laughing mother sends him back. But if the husband is this way beguil'd ; The husband is by much the greater child. Hay. XCIV. TO TTJCCA. I was writing an epic poem ; you began to write one ; I desisted from mine, that my verses might not stand in rivalry with yours. My Thalia transferred herself to the tragic buskin ; you immediately assumed the tragic robe. I struck the strings of the lyre studied by the Calabrian muses ; with new ambition you snatched from me the plectrum.^ I ven- tured on satire : you laboured to become a Lucilius. I sport in light elegy ; you do the same. What humbler style was left me ? I Ijegan to write epigrams ; my fame in that de- partment became also the object of your envy. Determine what you do not like ; it is a shame for you to like everything ; and if there be any species of writing that you do not affect, Tucca, leave that for me. I cannot for the stage a drama lay, Tragic or comic, but thou writ'st a play. I learn thee there, and, giving way, intend An epic poem ; thou hast the same end. I modestly quit that, and think to write Next morn an ode ; thou mak'st a song ^re night. ^ Quill to play on the strings of the lyre. BOOK XII.] EPIGRAMS. 585 I pass to elegies ; thou meet'st me there ; To satires, and thou dost pursue me. Where, Where shall I scape thee ? In an epigram ? Oh ! thou cri'st out, that is my proper game. Ben Jonson. xcv. TO Eums. Musaei pathicissimos libellos, Qui certant Sybariticis libellis, Et tinctas sale pruriente chartas Instanti lege E-ufe : sed puella Sit tecum tua, ne Tbalassionem Indicas manibus libidinosis. Efc fias sine foeraina maritus. O Rufo, leggi i paticissimi libelli di Museo, che garreggiano coi Sibaritici libelli, e leggi le carte asperse di sale solleticante : ma la tua ragazza sia teco, affinche con mani libidinose tu non ecciti Talassione, e diventi marito senza donna. Graglia. XCYI. TO A JEALOUS WIPE. Cum tibi nota tui sit vita, fidesque mariti, Nee premat ulla tuos, sollicitetque toros : Quid quasi pellicibus torqueris inepta ministris, In quibus et brevis est, et fugitiva Venus ? Plus tibi quam domino pueros prsestare probabo : Hi faciunt, ut sis fcemina sola viro. Hi dant, quod non vis uxor dare. Do tamen, inquis, ISTe vagus a thalamis conjugis erret amor. ISTon eadem res est : Chiam volo, nolo mariscam. Ne dubites quse sit Cbia, marisca tua est. Scire sues fines matrona, et foemina debet : Cede suam pueris ; utere parte tua. Essendo la vita, e la fedelta del tuo marito a te nota, veruna prema o solleciti il tuo talamo : a che, sciocca, ti tormenti tu dei servi come di concubine, coi quali il piacere di venere e breve» e fuggitivo. Ti provero che i ragazzi giovano piu a te che al loro padrone : questi son la cagione, che tu sola sii moglie al tuo marito ; essi danno cio che tu, come moglie, non vuoi dare. Peraltro il do, di tu, affinche I'amore non travii incostante dai talami conjugali. Non e la cosa : vogiio una chia, non voglio una marisca. Affinche non dubbiti cosa sia una chia, la tua e una marisca. Una matrona deve sapere i suoi limiti, ed una femina i suoi. Cedi ai ragazzi la loro pa'*te : e tu fa uso della tua. Graglia. -586 ' maetial's xcvii. to basstjs. Uxor cum tibi sit puella, qualem Votis vix petat improbus maritus, Dives, nobilis, erudita, casta : Humpis, Basse, latus, sed in comatis, TJxoris tibi dote quos parasti. Et sic ad dominam reversa languet Multis mentula millibus redempta : Sed nee vocibus excitata blandis, Molli pollice nee rogata surgit. Sit tandem pudor, aut eamus in jus. JSTon est hsec tua, Basse : vendidisti. Essendo tuamoglie una pulcella, quale un' improbo marito appena dimanderebbe, ricca, nobile, erudita, casta, tu, o Basso, ti rompi i lati, ma in Cincinnati, che ti procacciasti colla dote della tua moglie. E cosi la tua mentola comparata con molti milliaja languisce di ritorno alia padrona : ma, ne eccitata con dolci parole, ne pregata con tenera mano surge. Arrosisci finalmente, o andiamo in judicio. Questa mentola non e tua, o Basso : tu Thai venduta. Graglia. XCYIII. TO THE EIYEE BiETIS. Baetis, whose locks are bound witli a cbaplet of olive- leaves ; wbo dyest the golden fleeces of the flocks with thy radiant waters ; whom Bacchus and Pallas love ; and for whom the ruler of the waves opens a ship-bearing course into his foaming seas. Grrant that Instantius may enter thy regions with happy omens, and that this present year may be as pro- pitious to the people as the last. He is not unaware, what a responsibility it is to succeed Macer. He who weighs his responsibilities can bear them. Betis, with olive garlands deck thy hair. Who makes the flocks all golden fleeces bear; To Bacchus, Pallas, and to Neptune dear, For wine, for Oyl, for Traffick without peer. • May Rufus, in his charge, successful be. His year, like that is pass'd, be lov'd by thee. That Macer he succeeds, he's well aware ; Who knows his burden, best the weight can bear. Anon. 1695 BOOK XIII."] EPIQEAMS. 587 BOOK XIII. I. TO THE EEADEE. That the tunny fish may not want a toga, or the olives a cloak, and that the humble worm may not fear pinching famine, waste, ye Muses, this Egyptian papyrus, over which I lose so much time. Winter, the season for revelry, asks for a new collection of witticisms. My tessera does not vie with the magnanimous talus, ^ nor do the sice and ace rattle in my ivory box. This paper is my plaything, this paper my dice-box, this game, if it brings me no gaiil, occasions me no loss. TI. TO A DETRACTOE. Tou may be as keen-nosed as you please ; in a word, you may be all nose, and so extensive that Atlas himself, if asked, would be unwilling to carry it, and you may even excel Latinus^ himself in scoffing, still you cannot say more against my trifles than I have said myself. What good can it do you to gnash one tooth against another ? If you wish to indulge in biting, let flesh be your food. Do not lose your labour, but direct your venom against those who are enamoured of themselves. As for me, I know that my eff'u- sions are as nothing ; not, however, that they are absolutely nothing, if you come to their perusal with candid judgment, and not with an empty stomach.^ Be nosed, be all nose, till thy nose appear So great that Atlas it refuse to bear ; Though even against Latinus thou inveigh, Against my trifles thou no more canst say Than I have said myself Then to what end Should we to render tooth for tooth contend ? You must have flesh if you'll be full, my friend ! Lose not thy labour, but on those who do ^ The tessera, " die," was smaller than the talus, " huckle-bone." See Smith's Diet. Antiq. imder those words. ' An actor in pantomime. See B. i. Ep. 5. 2 Grave, severe ; not relaxed, as in the evening, when the labours and cares of the day are over. 588 maetial's Admire themselves thy utmost venom throw ; That these things nothing are, full well we know. Montaigne (by Cotton), book ii. c. 17. III. TO THE EEADEE. The whole multitude of presents^ contained in this thin little book will cost you, if you purchase it, four small coins. If four is too much, perhaps you may get it for two, and the bookseller, Trypho, will even then make a profit. These distichs you may send to your entertainers instead of a present, if money is as scarce with you as it is with me. The names of all the articles are given as headings ; so that you may pass by those which are not to your taste. IV. EE,A]SrKI]S"CE]!fSE. That Grermanicus^ may late begin to rule over the ethe- real hall, and that he may long rule over the earth, offer pious incense to Jove. Send perfumed prayers to Jove, that Caesar may Long rule on earth, ere he heaven's scepter sway. Wright. T. PEPPEE. When there falls to your lot a wax-coioured beccafico, which shines with fat back, you will, if you are wise, add pepper to it. VI. EIJIIMITT. I send you furmity : a rich man could send you honeyed wine. But if the rich man be unwilling to send it you, buy it. VII. BEANS. If the pale bean boils for you in the rea earthenware pot, you may often decline the suppers of rich patrons. VIII. PULSE. Season common jars with Clusine pulse, that, when they are cleansed, you may drink sweet wine from them to your satisfaction. 1 The Book bears, in most editions, the title Xenia, all the Epigrams contained in it being inscriptions for presents. 2 Domitian. See B. v. Ep. 2 and 39. BOOK XIII.] EPIGEAMS. 589 IX. LENTILS. Eeceive these Egyptian lentils, a gift from Pelusium ; if they are not so good as barley, they are better than beans. X. WHEATEIS" ELOTJR. You would never be able to enumerate all the different qualities of wheaten flour, or its uses, seeing that both baker and cook apply it in many different ways. XI. BAELET. E-eceive herewith, • muleteer, what you so often abstract from your dumb mules. I give it as a present to the inn- keeper,^ not to you. XII. COEN. Accept three hundred pecks from the harvest of the Libyan husbandman, that your suburban farm may not be unproductive. XIII. BEET. That insipid beet, the food of artizans, may acquire some flavour, how often must the cook have recourse to wine and pepper ! Insipid beet may bid a tradesman dine ; But asks of thee abundant spice and wine. Elphinston. XIY. LETTUCE. Tell me why lettuce, which used to close the repasts of our forefathers, now commences our feasts ? Lettuce, which closed the suppers of our sires, Tell me, why our commencing feast admires? Elphinston. XV. BET WOOD. If you cultivate fields in the neighbourhood of JNromentum,^ bring wood, I charge you, countrymen, to the farm-house. XVI. EADISHES. These radishes which I present to you, and which are suited to the cold season of winter, Eomulus still eats in heaven.^ ' Who is to see it given to the mules, when you stop at his inn. ' Where the land was marshy, and dry wood scarce. ' Martial intimates that Romulus lived on the same frugal fare in heaver 590 ' martial' 8 xyii. cabbage speouts. That young cabbages may not excite your disgust by their paleness, make them green by boiling them in nitrated water. Lest paly shoots o'ercast thy soul with spleen, Let nitrous water colour them with green, E^jihinston. XYIII. LEEKS. "Whenever you have eaten strong-smelling shreds of the Tarentine leek, give kisses with your mouth shut. When you Tarentine leeks eat, shun offence, With lips close seal'd a breathless kiss dispence, Wright. For it is every cook's opinion, No savoury dish without an onion. And, lest your kissing should be spoil'd. Your onions must be thoroughly boil'd : Or else you may spare Your mistress a share, The secret will never be known j She cannot discover The breath of a lover. But think it as sweet as her gwti. Swifi. XIX. LAEGE-HEADED LEEKS. Aricia, celebrated for its grove, sends us its best leeks: look at these green blades and snow-white stalks. The prime of leeks Aricia's groves bestow : See verdant tresses crown a stem of snow. Elphinston. XX. TUEIS^IPS. The lands near Amiternum abound in productive gardens ; you may now eat more sparingly of the turnips of Nursia. XXI. ASPARAGUS. The delicate stalks cultivated on the coast of Eavenna will not be more grateful to the palate than this wild asparagus. XXII. RAISINS. I am a grape not suited to the cup or to Bacchus ; but, if you do not attempt to drink me, I shall taste like nectar. that he had enjo3'ed on earth ; as Virgil says that the souls of the dead in Elysium had the same delight in horses and arms as they had had while in the body. Mn. vi. 653. BOOK XIII.] EPIGEAMS. 591 Fit nor for cap, nor Bacchus, I will be Nectar, although not potable, to thee. Wright. XXIII. CHIAN EIGS. The Chian fig, like old wine from Setia, contains within it both wine and salt.^ XXIY. QTJIXCES. If quinces, well saturated with Attic honey, were placed before you, you would say, these honey-apples are delicious. xxT. pi]s^E co:n-es. We are the apples of Cybele ;2 keep at a distance, passer- by, lest we fall and strike your unfortunate head. Cybele's apples we : fly, friend, in dread ; Lest our ripe ruin crush thy guiltless head. Elphinston, XXYI. SEEYICE BEEEIES. "We are service berries, good for astringing relaxed bowels ; a fruit better suited to your little boy than yourself. XXYII. A BUNCH OF DATES. Grilded dates are offered on the Kalends of January;^ and yet this is the expected gift of a poor man. XXYIII. A JAE OE PLUMS. These Syrian plums, which come to you enclosed in a wattled conical basket, had they been any larger, might have passed for figs. XXIX. DAMASCENE PLUMS. Accept these foreign plums, wrinkled with age : they are good for relaxing constipated bowels. XXX. A CHEESE FEOM LUNA. This cheese, marked with the likeness of the Etruscan Luna,'* will serve your slaves a thousand times for breakfast. ^ Compare B. vii. Ep. 24. - The pine was sacred to Cybele, because her favourite Atys was changed into that tree. ■' There is no allusion to such a custom elsewhere. ^ Luna is a town in Etruria. The mark on the cheese was probably some likeness or emblem of the moon, or Diana. 592 maetial's XXXI. A YESTI]SrE CHEESE. In case you desire to break your fast economically, without meat, this mass of cheese comes to you from the flocks of the Vestini.^ XXXII. SMOKED CHEESE. It is not every hearth or every smoke that is suited to cheese ; but the cheese that imbibes the smoke of the Vela- brum^ is excellent. XXXIII. CHEESE EROM TEEBULA. Trebula gave us birth ; a double merit recommends us, for whether toasted at a gentle fire or softened in water, we are equally good. XXXIY. BULBS. If your wife is old, and your members languid, bulbs can do no more for you than fill your belly.^ If envious age relax the nuptial knot ; Thy food be scalhons, and thy feast shalot. Elphinston. XXXT. SAUSAGE. Daughter of a Picenian pig, I come from Lucania ; by me a grateful garnish is given to snow-white pottage. XXXVI. A JAE OE OLITES. This olive, which comes to us rescued'* from the presses of Picenum, both begins and ends our repasts. XXXVII. CITEONS. These fruits are either from the boughs of the garden of Corcyra, or were guarded by the dragon of Massylia.^ XXXVIII. BEESTINGS. We give you, from the first milk of the mothers, sucklings of which the shepherd has deprived the dams while yet unable to stand. * A people of Italy, bordering on the Sabines. - A place near Rome, abounding with shops. ^ To what particular bulb provocative effects were attributed, is un- certain. * Not having been put in the oil-press. * The dragon that kept the garden of the Hesperides. BOOK XIII.] EPIGBAMS. 593 XXXIX. THE KID. Let the wanton creature, noxious to the green vine, pay the penalty of its crime ; though so young, it has already injured the god of wine. You once did Bacchus wound ; this death you have, O wanton Goat, for the then wound you gave. Wright. This wanton kid must bleed at Bacchus' shrine, Already has he harmed the God of Wine. W. S. B. XL. EGGS. If white fluid surround the saffron-coloured yolk, let pickle from the Spanish mackerel season the egg. XLI. A SrCKEfG PIG. Let the rich man place before me the nursling of a slug- gish mother, fattened upon milk alone, and he may feed off an ^tolian boar himself. XLII. POMEGKAKATES WITH SOET AI^^D HAED STOIfES. We present to you pomegranates with soft and hard stones, not from Libyan, but jSTomentan trees. XLIII. THE SAilE. Pomegranates with soft stones, gathered from suburban trees, and early pomegranates with hard stones, are sent to you. What do you want with those from Libya ? XLIY. sows' TEATS. You would hardly imagine that you were eating cooked sows' teats,^ so abundantly do they flow and swell with living milk. XLV. POWLS. If we possessed Libyan fowP and pheasants, you should I receive them ; as it is, receive birds from the hen-coop. XLYI. PEESIAN" APEICOTS. Though early ripe, we should, on our natural branches, have been little esteemed ; but now, grafted on branches of Persian origin, we are highly valued. ^ Esse putes nondum sumen. You would imagine that you were eating a sumen in its natural state. Sumen here means the dish made, with stuft'- ing or otherwise, of sows' teats. ^ Tujkeys. 2 Q 59'jfe maetial's Crabbed and wild, we clung to parent arms ; But, by adoption, have matured our charms. JElphinsfot XLYII. PICENTII^E LOAYES. Picentine flour teems with white nectar,^ just as the lighi sponge swells with the water it imbibes. XLYIII. MUSHROOMS. To send silver or gold, a cloak or a toga, is easj enough, but to send mushrooms is difficult.^ XLTX. THE riG-PECKER, OR BECCAFICO. Since I feed not only on figs, but on sweet grapes, why did not the grape rather give me a name ? ^ L. TRTJEFLES. We who with tender head burst through the earth that nourishes us, are truffles, second only to mushrooms. LI. A CROWN" OE THRUSHES. A crown made of roses, perhaps, or rich spikenard,^ may please you, but a crown of fieldfares^ delights me. Thy crown, of roses, or of spikenard, be : A crown of thrushes is the crown for me. El/}hinston. LII. DUCKS. Let a duck be brought to table whole : but only the breast and neck are worth eating ; return the rest to the cook. The duck decoys you. Pick the neck and breast, And to the worthy cook return the rest. Elphinstoti, LIII. TURTLE DOTES. As long as I have fat turtle-doves, a fig for your lettuce, my ^ Milk, or a mixture of milk and honey. Picentine bread and flour was greatly esteemed. 2 Either because they were rare, or because the possessor of them was more inclined to eat them himself than to part with them. 3 Why am I not called uvedula, rather than Jicedula? * Such crowns, or chaplets, were presented by the rich to their guests at banquets. 5 Turdus : the Germans translate this Fieldfare, which, from some Apician lecoUections, we think most likely to be right ; but, in more than on-e previous Epigram, the word has been translated Thrush. H. G. B. book: XIII.] EPIGRAMS. 595 friend, and you may keep your shell-fish to yourself. I have no wish to waste my appetite. Lettuce farewell ; fat Turtles give to me ; And poynant hunger the best sawce will be. Wright. LIY. GAMMOI^" OF BACON. Let me have it from the territory of the Cerretans,^ or it may be sent from the Menapians ;^ let epicures devour ham. I, with Cerretan, or Menapian, cram : Let gorgeous gluttons riot on their ham. Elphinston. LY. HAM. The ham is quite fresh ; make haste, and delay not to invite your best friends ; I will have nothing to do with a stale ham. LVI. pigs' CHITTEELIlfGS. You perhaps will give the preference to the chitterlings of a virgin pig ; I prefer them from a pregnant sow. LVII. EGYPTIAN BEANS. You will deride this Egyptian vegetable, with its wool that sticks so closely, when obliged to tear its obstinate filaments with teeth and hands. LYIII. goose's LIYEE. See, how the liver is swollen larger than a fat goose ! In amazement you will exclaim : where could this possibly grow? On goose's liver wond'ring glance bestow : Larger than largest goose, where could it grow ? Elphinston. LIX. DOKMOUSE. 1 sleep through the whole winter, and have become fatter during the time, with nothing but sleep to nourish me. Sleeping all Winter I'm most fat ; no food, But a fuU meal of sleep doth work this good. Wright. LX. BABBITS. The rabbit delights to dwell in caves dug in the earth. ^ A people of Spain, whose bacon is commended by Athenaeus, B. xiv. 2 A people on the Rhine, near what is now Westphalia. 2 Q 2 596 maetial's It was he who taught enemies the art of making secret ways. You a small burrow-worker, do design Captains great cities how to undermine. Wright. LXI. HEATHCOCKS. Among winged fowl, the best-flavoured is held to be the Ionian heathcock. ^ LXII. FATTENED EOWLS. The hen fattens readily on sweet flour and darkness.^ How ingenious is gluttony I^ The hen grows fat, with darkness fed and dough ; The very gut doth now ingenious grow. Wright. LXIII. CAPOIfS. Lest the cock, by excess of conjugal enjoyment, should grow thin, it is put out of his power to do so. I shall call him a priest of Cybele.^ LXIY. THE SAME. In vain does the hen caress her sterile mate ; she ought to have been the bird of Cybele, the mother of the gods. LXV. PAETRIDGES. This bird is placed as a great rarity upon Soman tables. It is only at those of the rich that you taste it frequently. LXVI. DO YES. If you have been initiated in the sacred mysteries of the Cnidian goddess, violate not tender doves with sacrilegious tooth.4 Touch not, with impious tooth, the tender dove, If thou'd'st adore the Cnidian queen of love. Elphinston. LXVII. WOOD-PIGEOlirS. Wood-pigeons make sluggish and blunt the manly powers. He who wishes to be a lover should not eat of this bird. ' Lisht and motion being adverse to fat. 2 Which discovered that fowls might be soonest fattened in darkness. ' Galius (a cock) also signifies a priest of Cybele. * If you have been initiated in the mysteries of Venus, do not destroy the birds sacred to her. BOOE: XIII.] EPIGRAMS. 597 The wreathed pigeon damps the genial pow'rs, The wife forbear him, in connubial hours. Elphinston. The ring-dove's flesh obstructs the tide of life ; Eat it not, husband, if you love your wife ! W. 8. B. LXYIII. WITWALS. The witwal is trapped by reeds and nets, while the grape, yet immature, swells with green juice. LXIX. MARTENS. Umbria never gave us Pannonian Martens. Pudens pre- fers to send these as presents to our Sovereign Lord.^ LXX. THE PEACOCK. Tou are lost in admiration whenever he spreads his feathers that glow as it were with jewels, and can you consign him, cruel man, to the unfeeling cook ? You who admire the peacock's gorgeous plumes, Can you consign him to the kitchen fumes ? W. S. B. LXXI. THE ELAMINGO. My red wing gives me my name ; but it is my tongue that is considered savoury by epicures. What, if my tongue had been able to sing ?^ LXXII. PHEASANTS. 1 was first brought to these climes in the ship Argo ; till then I knew only the river Phasis. LXXIII. NUMIDIAK EOWLS. However well Hannibal was fed witb E-oman geese, the barbarian himself never ate the birds of his own country.^ LXXIV. THE GOOSE. This bird saved the temple of Tarpeian Jove. Do you wonder at this ? A god had not then built that temple.** * The martens were sent from Pannonia to Pudens, who was in Um- bria, and who sent them thence as a present to the emperor. 2 How much more valuable would it have been ! An allusion, proba- bly, to the dish of singing-birds' tongues produced at a feast by ^Esopus the tragic actor. Plin. H- N. x. 51, ' Never ate them in Italy ; because luxury had not yet introduced them into that country. * Since Domitian has erected a temple there, he, being a god, is suffici- ently able to protect it. 598 maetial's lxxy. ceanes. Tou will disturb the lines, and the letter^ wiU not fly entire, if you destroy one single bird of Palamedes.^ LXXYI. WOODCOCKS. Whether woodcock or partridge, what does it signify, if the taste is the same ? But the partridge is dearer, and therefore thought preferable. I a wild Partridge am ; what difference ? nought, But that the tame one is the dearer bought. Wright. Lxxvii. swa:n^s. The swan murmurs sweet strains with a faltering tongue, itself the singer of its own dirge. As how to swans, their truth's reward, belong A joyful death, and sweet expiring song. Geo. Lamb. • LXXYIII. THE P0EPHTEI0N.3 Has so small a bird the name of a great giant ? It has also the name of the charioteer Porphyrion of the Grreen Paction. LXXIX. LITE MTJLLETS. The mullet yet breathes in the sea-water which is brought in for him ; but with difficulty. Is he not beginning to droop ? Grive him the natural sea, and he will recover his strength. LXXX. LAMPEEYS. The large lamprey, which swims in the Sicilian deep, cannot again submerge its body, if once scorched by the sun."* LXXXI. TUEBOTS. However great the dish that holds the turbot, the turbot is still greater than the dish. ^ The letter V, or y, which cranes form in their flight. 2 Cranes were called the birds of Palamedes, because he is said to have adopted some forms of letters from their mode of flying. 3 A bird so called, according to JElian and Pliny, from its purple colour. What bird it was, is unknown. * Such is its fatness, that if it rise to the surface of the water when the sun is shining, the heat relaxes it, and renders it powerless even to plunge again into the deep. BOOK XIII.] EPIQEAilS. 599 LXXXII. OTSTEES. I am a shell-fish just come from being saturated with the waters of the Lucrine lake, near Baise ; but now I luxuriously thirst for noble pickle.^ L3[XXIII. PRAWITS. The cerulean river Liris loves us, Liris sheltered by the wood of Marica,^ thence we prawns come in large shoals. LXXXIV. THE CHAR. Of this char, which comes well fattened^ from the billowy sea, the liver is good ; but the other parts are ill-flavoured. LXXXV. THE COEACINTFS. Coracinus,^ glory of the Egyptian markets, where you are eagerly sought, no fish is more highly esteemed than you among the gourmands of Alexandria. LXXXVI. SEA-HEDaEHOG. That sea-hedgehog, though it pricks your fingers with its bristly armour, will be soft enough when its shell is laid aside. Pinch thee he may, while pent within his walls ; But, once dislodged, a softling urchin sprawls. Elphinston. LXXXTII. MIJRICES, THE PITRPLE-EISH. You wear, ungrateful man, cloaks dyed in our blood ; and as if that were not enough, you also eat us. O most ungrateful man, not only you • Do dye with me ; but likewise eat me too. Wright. LXXXVIII. GTJDGEOT^S. "Whatever the magnificence of the feasts in the region of Venice, the gudgeon usually forms the beginning of the repast. When the Venetians will with splendour eat. With gudgeon gladly they commence the treat. Elphinston. Though Venice prides herself on sumptuous fare, The gudgeon always heads the banquet there. Anon. 1 In which oysters were preserved. 2 j^ Campania. ^ Some editions read adesus, but most have obesus. * A ftsh from the Nile, of which nothing is known. 600 maetial's LXXXIX. THE PIKE. The woolly' pike swims at the mouth of the Euganean Timavus, fattening on sweet water mixed with salt. XC. THE JOHN DOBT. It is not every Dory that deserves praise and a high price, hut only that which feeds on the shell-fish of the Lucrine lake. XCI. THE STirEGEO:^^. Send the sturgeon to the Palatine table ;^ such rarities should adorn divine feasts. XCII. HAEES. If my opinion is of any worth, the fieldfare^ is the greatest delicacy among birds, the hare among quadrupeds. Of birds the thrush, if I my thoughts declare ; Of quadrupeds, the glory is the hare. Elphinston. XCIII. WILD BOAE. The bristly animal which fell by an ^tolian spear'* on the lands of Diomede, a dire object of terror, was just such as this. XCIY. DOES. Wild boars are feared for their tusks ; horns are the de- fence of stags ; what are we, unwarlike does, but an easy prey toaU? The tusk, the Boar ; Harts, horns defend, to all We naked Does, prey undefended, fall. Wright. XCV. THE OUNCE. The savage ounce, not the best victim of the morning sports, costs me the lives of oh ! how many dogs ! XCVI. THE STAG-. Was this the stag which was tamed by your halter, Cypa- rissus ?^ or was it rather yours, Silvia ?^ ^ Laneus lupus. A species of pike, so called from the colour and soft- ness of the flesh. Plin. H. N. ix. 17. The Timavus was a river not far from Venice, in the territory once occupied by the Euganei. - That of Domitian's palace on the Palatine Mount. ' Turdus. See note on Epig. li. p. 594. •• That of Meleager. ^ A son of Telephus, who, having accidentally killed his favourite stag, is said by Ovid to have been changed into a cypress. ® The daughter of Tyrrheus. Virgil, ^En. vii. BOOK XIII.] EPiaEAMS. 601 XCYII. THE LALISIO, OR SUCKIiN'G FOAL Or THE WILD ASS. Wliile the wild ass is young, and fed b}'- its mother alone, the nursling has, but onlj for a short time, the name of lalisio. XCYIII. THE GAZELLE. Give your little son the gazelle for a plaything ; which the crowd in the amphitheatre like to scare by waving their togas. XCIX. THE MOUNTAII^ GOAT. See how the mountain goat hangs from the summit of the cliff ; you would expect it to fall : it is merely showing its contempt for the dogs. C. THE WILD ASS. Behold this beautiful wild ass ; away with the hunting of Indian elephants. Lay aside the hunting nets ! CI. YElS-AEEAIf OIL. This unguent has been exuded by the berry of Yenafrum in Campania. Every time you use it, it emits fragrance.^ oil. SUPEEIOE SAUCE EEOM OUK ALLIES. Accept this exquisite sauce made from the first blood of the expiring mackerel;^ an expensive present. cm. INEEEIOE SAUCE. 1 am, I confess it, the offspring of the tunny-fish of Anti- polis ;^ had I been that of a mackerel, I should not have been sent to you. CIY. ATTIC HONET. The bee that throngs Thesean Hymettus has sent you this noble nectar from the forest of Minerva. CY. SICILIAN" HONEYCOMBS. "When you make a present of Sicilian honeycombs from amid the hills of Hybla, you may call them Attic. CYI. EAISIN WINE. The vineyard of Gnossus, in that Crete where Minos reigned, ^ A fragrance owing, not to the oil, but to the spices mixed with it. 2 From Greece, Africa, Spain, and various other parts. 3 In Gallia Narbonensis. 602 maetial's produced this for you ; this is the honeyed wine of the poor man. CVII. PITCH-rLAYOTJUED WINE. Doubt not that this pitch-flavoured wine came from the wine-bearing Yienne : E-omulus ^ himself sent it to me. CVIII. HONEYED WIFE. Attic honey thickens the nectar-Hke Falernian. Such drink deserves to be mixed by G-anymede. CIX. ALB AN WINE. This wine is sent from the Csesarean hills,^ from the sweet vineyard that flourishes on Mount lulus. ex. SURKENTINB "WINE. Do you drink Surrentine ? Choose for it neither painted m;yrrhine jars, nor vessels of gold ; the wine will furnish you with cups from its own locality. CXI. I^ALERNIAN WINE. This Massic^ wine comes from the presses of Sinuessa. Do you ask in whose Consulate it was bottled ? It was be- fore consuls existed. CXII. SETINE WINE. The little city of Setia, which, suspended on high, overlooks the Pontine marshes, has sent us these old tuns. CXIII. rUNDI WINE. This wine of Eundi'^ was produced in the splendid autumn of Opimius.^ The consul who saw it made drank of it when matured. CXIV. TRIEOLINE WINE. I, Trifoline wine,^ am not, I confess, of the first order ; but I hold, at least, the seventh place. ^ The son of ^neas, who built Alba Longa. 2 The hills were called Caesarean, because the emperors had palaces on them. ' Mons Massicus and Mens Falernus were mountains near Sinuessa in Campania ; both celebrated for their wines. * A town of Campania. ^ See B. i. Ep. 27. 6 Made at Cuma in Campania, BOOK XIII.] EPIGEAMS. 603 CXY. C^CUBATf WIIS-E. Generous Csecuban wine is matured at Amyclse, near Fun- di ; the vine is born and flourishes in the midst of a morass. cxYi. sig:n"ine wike. Tou may drink Signine wine, which astringes the relaxed bowels ; but, that it may not aiFect you too much, let your draughts be moderate. CXYII. MAMERTINE WINE. If a jar of Mamertine,^ as old as Nestor, be given you, you may call it by what name you please.^ CXYIII. TAERAGONESE WIIfE. Tarragon, which yields the palm to the vineyards of Cam- pania alone, produced this wine, rivalling the Tuscan. CXIX. lirOMENTAN WIIS^E. My ISTomentan vineyard^ yields this wine. If Quintus^ is your friend, you will drink better. CXX. SPOLETITvrE WINE.^ Eetter drink old wine from Spoletine jars, than new Falernian. CXXI. PELIGNIA^fT WIT^E. The Pelignian vine-dressers send turbid Marsic wine. Touch it not yourself, but let your freed-man drink it. CXXII. YIIS^EGAE. Disdain not this amphora of Egyptian vinegar. It was much worse when it was wine. Egyptian vinegar despise not thou : When it was wine, 'twas far more vile than now. Wright. CXXIII. WINE OE MAESEILLES. Since your sportula attracts to you hundreds of citizens, you may set before them the smoky wines of Marseilles. 1 From the Mameitine region in Sicily. 2 Such is its excellence, that it is equal to any wine whatever. 2 Martial's vineyard at N omentum. * Quintus Ovidius. B. vi. Ep. 92. ^ From Spoletum in Italy. 604 maetial's CXXIV. CjEEETAN.^ Let Nepos^ place Cseretan wine on table, and you will deem it Setine. But he does not give it to all the world ; he drinks it only with a trio of friends. CXXV. TAEENTINE. Aulon^ is renowned for its wool, and happy in its vines. You may take its precious fleeces, give me its wines. Aulon is famous for its wool and wine ; The former shall be yours, the latter mine. W. S. B. CXXVT. PEEPFMES. Never think of leaving perfumes or wine to your heir. Administer these yourself, and let him have your money. CXXVII. A CEOWK OE EOSES. "Winter, Caesar, offers thee a forced chaplet ; formerly the rose was a flower of spring, now it comes at thy bidding.^ Winter a rose presents unto thy throne ; Once 'twas the Spring's, but now 'tis Caesar's grown. Wright. BOOK XIV. THE PEESENTS MADE TO GUESTS AT EEASTS. I. TO THE EEADEE. Now, while the knights and the lordly senators delight in the festive robe, and the cap^ of liberty is assumed by our Jupiter ; ^ and while the slave, as he rattles the dice-box, has no fear of the ^dile, seeing that the ponds are so nearly frozen,'^ learn alternately what is allotted to the rich and to the poor. Let each make suitable presents to his friends. That these contributions of mine are follies and trifles, and even worse, who does not know ? or who denies what is so evident ? But what can I do better, Saturn, on these * From Caere in Etruria. ^ ^ friend of Martial. B. x. Ep. 48. ' A mountain in Calabria, near Tarentum. ^ See B. vi. lip. 80. 5 Caps were worn generally during the Saturnalia. See B. xi. Ep. 6. ^ Domitian. '^ Seeing winter so near at hand. BOOK XIV.] EPIGBAMS. 605 days of pleasure, wHcli thy son himself has consecrated to thee in compensation for the heaven j^om which he ejected thee ? "Would you have me write of Thehes, or of Troy, or of the crimes of Mycenae ? You reply, " Play with nuts." But I don't want to waste even nuts. Eeader, you may finish this hook wherever you please, every subject is completed in a couple of hues. II. TO THE EEADER. If you ask why headings are aflGlxed, I will tell you ; it is that, if you choose, you may read the headings only. Inquire you why this table 's put before ? rU tell J if it disgusts you, read no more. Evelyn, III. TABLETS OE CITEGIS^-WOOD. Had not our wood been cut into thin tablets, we should have been the noble burden of Libyan ivory .^ IV. TABLETS (wAXEN) OE EIVE LEAVES. The joyous court of the emperor is warm with the slaugh- ter of bullocks, when the decree which confers fresh honours on Caesar is conveyed by the five-leaved (waxen) tablet.^ V. TABLETS OE IVOET. If the dull-coloured waxen-tablets are too indistinct for your failing sight, let black letters be depicted on snow- white ivory. VI. TABLETS OE THREE LEAVES. You will think our three leaves no ordinary gift, when your mistress writes to you on them that she will come. These three-leaved tablets you'll be sure to bless, "When a fair lady sends them back with " yes." W. S. JB. VII. TABLETS OF PARCHMENT. Although these tablets are called parchment, imagine them of wax ; you will be able to erase and replace the writing at pleasure.^ ^ Had we not been tablets, we should have been tables, supported o:; ivory legs. 2 When the honour of a consulate or triumph is inscribed by the ere peror on tablets of this kind, which are sent to the person on whom it it bestowed. 3 The parchment was covered with some chalky kind of compositioi susceptible of erasure. 606 MAETIAL S YIII. YITELLIAlSr TABLETS.^ A maiden, thougli she may never have read Vitellian tablets, knows what they mean. IX. THE SAME. Because you see that we are very small, you imagine that we are love-letters. You are mistaken ; we bear a demand for money. X. LAEGEE TABLETS. AYhen a poet presents you with blank leaves, you should consider it no small present. No vulgar boon the hard must mean, When he presents the paper clean. JElphinston. XI. LETTEE-PAPEE. AVhether sent to a casual acquaintance, or to a dear friend, this paper is in the habit of calling everybody " my dear Sir." To one long-lov'd, and one she barely knows. Hailing alike Dear Feiend, she shameless goes. £lphmston. XII. lYOET COFEEES. It is improper to fill these coffers with any other coin than gold : let common wooden boxes hold silver. These ivory tills should not contain but gold, And more vile wood should baser silver hold. Wright. XIII. WOODED COEEEES. If there be anything still remaining at the bottom of my] cofier, it shall be yours. There is nothing : then the coffer j itself shall be yours. XIY. lYOET TALI, OE DICE.' When you see that no two of these dice present themselves ^ to you with the same face, you will say that I have made you a great present. XY. TESSEE.E. Although as a tessera I am unequal in number to the tali, yet the stake laid upon me is frequently greater. 1 See B. ii. Ep. 6. 2 On this and the following, see B. xiii. Ep. 1, and B. iv. Ep. 14. BOOK XIT.] EPIGEAMS. 607 XVI. A DICE BOX. The fraudulent hand, skilled in disposing dice to fall in a certain manner, will, if it throws them from me, succeed only in wishing. The cogging hand may slm- a die with me ; No sHght prevails, only yom- hopes are free. Wright. When she's at cards, or rattling dice she throws, Connive at cheats, and generously lose. Garth. XVII. A GAMINa TABLE. Here dice, with their twice six spots, are counted ; here the party-coloured man is captured by his double foe.^ XVIII. NUTS. Nuts seem a small risk, and not likely to be attended with much loss ; yet such risk has often robbed the young of honour. XIX. A PET^-CASE. As you have been lucky enough to gain a pen-case as your prize, remember to store it with pens. Having got the more expensive part for nothing, you can afford the less costly. XX. THE GAME OE BOBBERS. ^ If your game be the warfare of insidious robbers you have here in gems both your soldiers and your enemy. XXI. STYLE-CASES. These style-cases furnished with their own steel styles are for you. If you give one of them to your boy, it will be no trifling present. XXII. A TOOTH-PICK. A piece of Lentisc wood is best ; but if that is unattain- able, a quill may relieve your teeth. 1 One compartment of the table was adapted for throwing dice, the other for moving men, resembling chess-men or draughts-men, according to the throws of the dice. A man was taken when he was hemmed hi between two of the adversary's men. See Smith's Diet, of Antiq. art. Calculus and Latrunculi. 2 The nature of this game is not exactly known ; it is variously sup- posed to mean chess, draughts, or some kind of besieging game. 608 MARTIAL S XXIII. AS EAE-PICK. I offer you an instrument to allay the tickling of your ear, when it annoys you with troublesome irritation. XXIY. A GOLDEK HAIE-PIN^. That your oiled tresses may not injure your splendid silk dress, let this pin fix your twisted hair, and keep it up. XXV. COMBS. Of what use will be this piece of box-wood, cut into so many teeth, and now presented to you, seeing that you have no hair ? XXVI. POMATUM. My caustic influence reddens the hair of the Grermans : by my aid you may surpass your slave's tresses. XXVII. MATTIAC BALLS. ^ If you desire, Octogenarian, to change the colour of your veneral&le hair, accept these Mattiac balls. But to what purpose, for you are bald ? XXVIII. A PAEASOL. Accept this protection against the excessive heat of the sun ; and even against the wind it will serve you as a veil. XXIX. A BEOAD-BEIMMED HAT. In Pompey's theatre I go as a spectator well hooded, the awning there being of little avail against the wind. HUT^TIT^^a-SPEAES. They will receive rushing wild boars, and await lions ; they will pierce bears, if the hand that directs them be sufficiently firm. XXXI. A HTTN^TINa-KNIEE. If you mourn over your hunting-spear, struck down by the boar's long tusk, this short weapon will oppose the huge animal in close encounter. ^ So called from Mattium, a town of Germany, supposed by some to be the same with Marpurg. They were some kind of composition for dyeing the hair. ldok: xit.] epigeams. 609 xxxil. a swoed aistd belt. This is a militarj decoratioD, an honourable testimony ; a weapon worthy to gird on the side of a tribune. XXXIII. A DAQ-aEE. This dagger, marked with serpentine veins, Salo,^ while it was hissing with heat, tempered with ice-cold water. XXXIY. A SCYTHE. The settled peace of our Emperor has bent me to unwar- like uses ; now I belong to the husbandman, formerly I be- longed to the soldier. Me to a better trade calme peace doth change, I, in the camp did serve, now in the Scange. Wright, XXXY. A HATCHET. When a sad sale was made for the payment of debts, this hatchet was purchased for four hundred thousand sesterces.^ xxxYi. BAEBEEs' i:n"stet:ments. Some of these instruments are adapted for cutting the hair ; one is useful for long nails, another for rough chins. XXXA^II. A BOOK-CASE. If you do not give me well-bound books, they will admit the moth and devouring worms. XXXYIII. BTJTfDLES OP EEED-PES^S. The land of Egypt supplies you with reeds fit for writing on paper. "With the reeds of other marshes you may I thatch your roofs. XXXIX. A NIGHT-LAMP. T am a night-lamp, privy to the pleasures of the couch ; do whatever you please, I shall be silent. Privy to nocturnal glee, Nought I say of all I see. Elphinston. XL. A CANDLE. Eortune has given you this servant of the lamp, which, by keeping awake, dispels darkness. ' A river in Spain. See B. i. Ep. 50. 2 A vast sum ; more than £3200 of our money. We are inclined to read guadragi?ita instead of quadringentis, a change which would reduce the price to £320. 2 R 610 martial' s * XLI. THE LAMP WITH SEVEEAL BIJR]!fEIlS, Although I illumine whole banquets with my light, and have so many necks, I am called but one lamp. XLII. A TAPER. This taper will provide you with light in the night, sup- posing your lamp should be stolen from your servant. XLIII. A C0RIN^THIA:N- CANDELABRUM. It was candles that gave us our- old name ; the lamp trim- med with oil was not known to our forefathers. XLIV. A WOODEN CANDLESTICK. You see that I am a piece of wood ; unless you are careful of the flame, a great lamp will be made out of your candle- stick. Unless you mind, and mend the light, you '11 see The candlestick itself will candle be. Wright. XLT. A PAG-ANICA, OR BALL STTJFEED WITH EEATHERS. This ball, stuffed with feathers, difficult to manage, is not so soft as a bladder, nor so hard as an ordinary ball. XLYI. THE BALL EOR PLATING AT THE TRIGON, OR THREE-CORNERED GAME. If you are skilful enough to strike me with rapid left- hand blows, I am yours. You are not sufficiently skilled, so, clown, return the ball. XLYII. THE BLADDER POOT-BALL. Retire to a distance, young men ; tender age suits me ; with the bladder it befits only boys and old men to play. XLVIII. THE HARPASTA, OR SMALL HAND-BALL. This the agile youth catches amid the dust of Antaeus, (though often) stretching his neck with fruitless eiforts. XLIX. DUMB-BELLS. Why do strong arms fatigue themselves with frivolous dumb-bells ? To dig a vineyard is a worthier exercise for men. 1 That is, the dust of the palaestra, or wrestling-ground, Antaeus having been famed for wrestling. The words in brackets are supplied, being ap- parently required to complete the sense. BOOK XIV.] EPI&EAMS. 611 L. A LEATHER CAP. To prevent the wrestler's unclean oil from defiling your sleek locks, you may protect your perfumed hair with this leathern covering. LI. STRIGILS, rOB SCRAPINa THE SKIN IN" THE BATH. Pergamus sent these ; scrape yourself with the curved iron, and the scourer will not so often have to cleanse your linen. LII. A COMMON HORN OIL-ELASK. A young bull lately bore me upon his forehead ; you might think me a real rhinoceros' horn. LIII. AN OIL-ELASK OE RHINOCEROS' HORN. This horn, which was recently seen in the Ausonian arena of the Emperor, and to which a bull was but as a ball, is for you.^ : LIT. A child's rattle. If a little boy hangs crying upon your neck, let him shake, with his tender hand, this noisy rattle. Should round thy neck the crying homeborn cling, Its tuneful hand may bid this timbrel ring. Elphinston. LV. A horse-whip. If the horse which you are running is of the purple faction,^ you will make nothing of him, however much you flog him with this whip. LVI. TOOTH powder. "What have I to do with you ? Let the fair and young use me. I am not accustomed to polish false teeth. LVII. MTROBALANTJM. This, which is mentioned neither by Virgil nor by Homer, in all their verses, is made up of unguent and nut-balsam. ' See Spectac, Ep. 9. ' The same is said of those of the blue faction B. vi. Ep. 40. 2 R 2 612 mahtial's I LYIII. APHEOIflTEUM, OE SALT-PETEE. Are you a Rustic ? Then you do not know what I am called in Glreek. I am called the scum of nitre. Are you a Greek ? I am Aphronitron. Thou, blockhead, canst not scan my Grecian name : From scum of nitre, I, saltpetre, came. Elphinston. LIX. BALMS. Ealm delights me ; it is the perfume for men. Te matrons, scent yourselves with the essences of Cosmus. LX. BEAIs^-PLOTJE. This will he an acceptable present, and not without its use to a wrinkled body, when exposed in broad daylight at the baths of IStephanus. LXT. A HOE]S^-LA:efTEE:N'. I am a lantern, a guide for the way, and shine like gold when the flame is sheltered and the little lamp safe in my embrace. LXII. A LA]S"TEE]Sr MADE OE A BLADDEE. If I am not of horn, am I the less transparent ? Will any one who meets me think me a bladder ? LXIII. A EEED PIPE. Why do you smile at my form, composed of wax and reeds ? The first shepherd's pipe was such as T am. Of wax and reed you laugh to see me made ; So was composed the primal pipe that play'd. Elphinston. LXIY. PIPES. The drunken female-piper bursts our ears with her inflated cheeks ; she sometimes blows two pipes at once ;^ sometimes only one. LXV. WOOLLEjS" slippees. If your servant should happen to be absent, and you wish to get your sandals, these will enable your feet to serve themselves. ' Pipers often played on two pij)es at once, called tibice dextrce et sinistree, " right and left-handed pipes." See a full description of them in Colman's Preface to his Terence. I BOOK XIY.] . EPIGRAMS. 613 Boyless, wouldst on or off thy slippers put ? Thy most obsequious slave thou'lt find thy foot. Elphinston. LXVI. A COESET. You might be able to confine your breast within a bull's hide ; but what you use is too small for the purpose. LXYII. A FLT-ELAP OE PEACOCK' S EEATHEES. That which prevents disagreeable flies from feeding on your repast, was once the proud tail of a splendid bird. What from thy food repels profaning flies, Strutted, a gorgeous train, with gem-like eyes. Mphinston, LXTIII. RHODIAN BISCUIT. If your slave commits a fault, do not smash his teeth with your fist ; give him some of the (hard) biscuit which famous E/hodes has sent you. LXIX. A PEIAPirS MADE OE PASTST. If you wish to appease your hunger, you may eat this Priapus of ours ; even though you consume every part of it, you will not be the less pure. LXX. A PIG. The pig fed on acorns among foaming wild boars, will aflford f you a merry saturnalia. LXXI. A CLOTHES-BEUSH OE OX-TAIL, If your dress has been soiled with yeUow dust, brush it off with gentle strokes of this bushy tail. I LXXII. A SAUSAGE. > The sausage which comes to you in mid-winter, came to me before the seven days of the Saturnalia. LXXIII. A PAEEOT. I, a parrot, am taught by you the names of others ; I have learned of myself to say, " Hail ! Caesar ! " To compliment my master teacheth me : But I, by nature, am taught loyalty. Wright. For other names your lessons may avail ; I taught myself to carol, " Caesar ! hail ! " Elphinston. 614 maetial's lxxiv. a cbow. Corve salutator, quare fellator haberis ? In caput intravit mentula nulla tuum. O corvo salutatore, perche sei tu tenuto un fellatore? veruna mentula entrb neUa tua bocca. — Graglia. LXXY. A NIGHTi:PfGALE. Pbilomela bewails tbe crime of the incestuous Tereus ; and sbe who was dumb as a maiden, is celebrated for her song as " a bird. Hear Philomela Tereus' crime bewail ; Lo ! the mute maid, a warbling nightingale. Elphinston. Wrong'd Philomel, while woman, mute was she ; But, since a bird, sings her own elegy. . Wright. LXXVI. A MAGPIE. I, a talking magpie, salute you as my master with dis- tinct voice ; if you did not see me, you would not believe me to be a bird. Did you not see, such a true voice I feign, Thinking me man, you would salute again. Wright. LXXVII. AN IVORT CAGE. If you ever possess such a bird as Lesbia, the beloved of Catullus, bewailed, it may dwell here. E'en such a bird, so fond, so gay. As Lesbia loved so well, And mourn'd in sweet Catullus' lay. In thee might happy dwell. Geo. Lamb. LXXVIII. A MEDICINE-CHEST. Here you have an ivory medicine-chest, filled with the ap- pliances of the healing art ; a present such as even Paccius • might have coveted. LXXIX. WHIPS. Play, sportive slaves ; but only play.^ These whips of mine shall *be locked up for five days.^ Play on, but only play, ye servile fry ; No more than five dear days I dormant lie. Elphinston. ^ Some physician, probably. ^ Do no mischief. 3 In Ep. 72 the Saturnalia are said to last seven days; five was the prescribed number, but two were usually added. BOOK XIV.] EPIGRAMS. 615 LXXX. FERULA. Hated exceedingly by children, and dear to schoolmasters, we are the wood ennobled by the gift of Prometheus.^ The master's sceptre, and the school-boy's smart ; Our awe springs sacred from Promethean art. Elphinston. LXXXI. A WALLET. This wallet entreats that it may not be obliged to carry the beggarly food of a long-bearded, half-clad philosopher, or serve as pillow to his mangy dog. LXXXII. BROOMS. Brooms were once held in esteem, as our palm trees tes- tify ;^ but now the slaves have forsaken brooms, and pick up crumbs. LXXXIII. A BACK-SCRATCHER, IK THE SHAPE OE A HAND. This hand will protect your shoulders from the bite of the troublesome flea, or from other things more offensive than a flea. LXXXIV. A WOODEN BOOK-COYERINa. These fir covers will long preserve your manuscripts, and protect them against the friction of your toga and cloak.^ LXXXY. A COUCH MADE OP CITRON-WOOD, CALLED " PEACOCK-TAILED." This couch derives 'its name from the bird adorned with painted feathers ; which is now the attendant of Juno, but was formerly Argus. ^ LXXXVI. A SADDLE. Huntsman, accept this saddle for your swift-footed steed, for a horse ridden bare-backed is apt to cause a painful disease. LXXXYII. A DINNER COUCH. Accept a semicircular couch decorated with crescents of ' Prometheus having stolen fire from heaven in a hollow cane or reed. 2 Brooms were anciently made from the palm-tree. 2 Compare B. i. Ep. 67. ♦ The hundred-eyed Argus was changed into a peacock. 616 maetial's tortoise-sTiell. It will hold eight. Whoever is a friend, let him take a seat on it. LXXXYIII. A DINNEE-TABLE OEKAME^'TED WITH THE BEST TOETOISE-SHELL. If you imagine that I am adorned with female land- tortoise shell, you are mistaken ; I bear the male oifspring of the sea. LXXXTX. A CITEOT^-WOOD TABLE. Accept a present of rich wood from the forests of Atlas. Whoever makes a present of gold (of equal weight), will give less. Atlas this citron table sends to thee : Should he give gold, the gift would smaller be. Wright. XC. A MAPLE-WOOD TABLE. I am not veined, it is true ; nor am I the offspring of an African forest ; yet even my wood is no stranger to sump- tuous feasts. XCI. IVORY TTJSKS. Do you question whether tusks which toss in air the vast bodies of bulls, can support tables of African wood P^ Ask you if tusks that toss a "bull in air Suffice a rosewood table's weight to bear ? W. S. B. XCII. A EITE-EEET EITLE. . This piece of oak, marked with spots, and tipped with a sharp point, frequently exposes the fraudulent dealings of the contractor. xciii. AjSttiqite vases. This is no recent masterpiece, nor the work of an artificer of our day ; Mentor, who made these cups, was the first to drink out of them. XCIY. COMMOI^ CUPS. Though we plebeian cups are not made of decorative glass, our stone ware is not cracked by boiling water. xcv. A chased gold cup. Although I am formed of the most beautiful and ruddy Callaic gold,^ I glory far more in my workmanship ; for it is that of Mys. 1 See Spectac. Ep. 17 and 19. 2 gee B. x. Ep. 16. BOOK XIV.] EPIGRAMS. 617 XCVI. A VATINIAK CUP.^ Accept this humble cup, a memorial of the cobbler Yati- nius ; it is not so big as his nose. XCYII. DISHES INLAID WITH GOLD. Do not dishonour such large gold dishes with an- insigni- ficant mullet ; it ought, at least, to weigh two pounds. XCYIII. ARRETIKE YASES.^ We warn you not to look with too much contempt on Arretine vases ; Porsena's splendid service was of Etruscan pottery. XCIX. A BASKET. 3 I, a barbarian basket, came from the painted Britons ; but now Eome claims me for her own. From painted Britons, I bascauda came ; Whom now imperial Rome would native claim. Elphin. I, foreign basket, first in Britain known, Am now by Rome accounted for her own. Fuller'' s Worthies. C. PAFACIATf YESSELS. If you have visited th^ country of the learned Catullus, you have drunk Rhsetian wine from my earthenware. CI. BOLETARIA, A COOKING YESSEL. Though mushrooms (boleti) have given me so noble a name, I am used, I am ashamed to say it, for cabbages. CII. SURRENTINE CUPS. Accept these cups formed of no common clay, but the polished work of a Surrentine potter's wheel. cm. A SNOW- STRAINER. Temper your cups of Setine wine, I advise you, with snow put into me. Ton may use linen strainers for inferior wines. ^ So called because the fashion of it was invented by Vatinius, a shoe- maker of Beneventum ; or because it was shaped like his nose. - From Arretiuni, a town of Etruria, now Arezzo. ' The word " basket " is supposed to be derived from Bascauda. See Johnson's Dictionary. 618 Martial's civ. a si^ow-bag. Oar coarse linen, too, will clarify snow-water, Avhich does not gush any colder from your fine strainer. CV. WATEE-JUGS EOE THE TABLE. Let cold water not be wanting, and the warm will be at command ; never trifle with craving thirst. CVI. AIS" EAETHEI^ PITCHER. Here is presented to you a red pitcher mth twisted handle ; the Stoic Fronto ^ used to fetch his water in this vesseh CYII. WIIfE CUPS. The Satyr loves us ; Bacchus loves us ; and so too the intoxicated tigress, whom we have taught to lick the feet of her master. CYIII. SAGUNTINE CUPS. Accept these cups, fashioned of Saguntine clay, which your servant may take and handle without anxiety. CIX. JEWELLED CUPS. See how the gold, begemmedt with Scythian emeralds, glistens ! How many fingers does this cup deprive of jewels I^ ex. AlSr AMPULLA, OR DRI]SrKi:PTG PLASK. Here is a gemmed cup, which bears the name of Cosmus ;^ drink, luxurious man, if you thirst for perfumed wines.'* CXI. CRYSTAL CUPS. Ton break crystal cups in your anxiety to avoid breaking them ; hands too careless, and too anxious, are equally de- structive. You chrystal break, for fear of breaking it : Careless and carefull hands like faults commit. Wright * Perhaps he who is mentioned B. i. Ep. 56. 2 Ancient gold as well as crystal cups and vases, inlaid with jewels, especially emeralds and rubies, are still found in some cabinets. ^ The perfumer often mentioned before. * It was a practice of the luxurious, in the time of Martial, to mix spikenard, myrrh, and other perfumes, with their wine. See Plin. H. N. i. 13. I BOOK XIT.] EPIGEAMS. 619 CXTI. A Is^IMBTJS OE GLASS. The nimbus that comes from Jupiter will supply you with abundance of water to mix with your wine ; this nimius will give you wine itself.^ CXIII. MYEEHIlfrE CUPS. If you drink your wine warm, a Myrrhine cup is best for hot Ealernian ; and the flavour of the wine is improved by it. CXIT. A CTJM^AN" PLATE. This plate of red Cumsean earth is sent you by the chaste Sibyl. It is a native of the same place with herself. CXY. GLASS CUPS. Behold the talent of the Nile. Alas ! how often has the workman, while wishing to give additional ornament to his work, destroyed it ! This is Egyptian work. How oft does taste, Aiming too high, its toilsome efforts waste ! W. S. B. CXYI. A DECAIfTEE EOE SNOW-WATEE. You drink Spoletine wine, or that which has been stored in Marsian cellars. Of what use to you is the noble luxury of iced water ? cxvii. s:n"OW. To drink not snow, but water iced with snow, is the device of ingenious thirst. CXYIII. THE SAME. Do not, my slave, mix the smoky wine of Marseilles with iced water, lest the water cost you more than the wine. Massilia's smoke forbear with snow to blend : Nor more on water, than on wine, expend. Elphinston. CXIX. AT^ EAETHEK UTE:N^SIL. When I have been called for by a snap of my master's fingers, and the attendant has loitered, oh how often has the cushion been my rival ! ' Nimbus means a " storm," or " storm-cloud." The point lies in the word also meaning a wine-vessel, probably so called from its dark colour. 620 Martial's cxx. a silyee ligtile, ob, small ladle. Though kniglits and senators call me ligula, I am -called lingida by ignorant grammarians.^ CXXI. A COCHLEAEE^ (SPOOI^). I am suitable for shell-fish, but not less so for eggs. Pray can you tell why the one has given me a name rather than the other ? cxxii. EiNas. In old times we were frequently, but now we are rarely, presented to a friend. Happy the man who has for a friend a knight whose fortune he has made ! ^ CXXIII. A EIFa-CASE. Often does the heavy ring slip off the anointed fingers ; but if you confide your jewel to me, it will be safe. CXXIY. A TOaA. ♦ He who gave the skies to his illustrious sire,'* made the toga-clad Romans lords of the world. CXXY. THE SAME. If you can reconcile yourself to give up your morning sleep, you may, by wearing out this toga, obtain a sportula. CXXYI. A WAEM CLOAK. This is a poor man's gift, but not often a poor man's wear. We send you this cloak in place of a mantle. CXXYII. A BROWN CLOAK OF CAlS^USIAl^ WOOL.^ This Canusian cloak, in colour extremely like must, shall be our gift to thee. Rejoice ! it will, not soon wear out. ' The word is a diminutive from lingua, " a tongue ;" but ligula be- came the prevalent form of it. 2 Cochleare, from cochlea, a shell, on account of its shape. Our old tea- caddy spoons were often shaped like a cockle-shell. ^ In ancient times patrons often presented their clients with a sum of money to enable them to purchase the equestrian dignity, and wear the ring of the order. * Domitian, who deified Vespasian, and built a temple to the Flavian family. ^ From Canusia in Apulia. BOOK XIV.] EPIGEAMS. 621 CXXYIII. A GALLIC HOOD. Graul clothes you witli its Santonic^ hood: it was but recently that it clothed a monkey.^ CXXIX. RED CLOAKS OE CAIS^TJSIAN WOOL. E-oine more willingly wears brown cloaks ; Graul prefers red, a colour which pleases children and soldiers. CXXX. A LEATHEEN CLOAK. Although you begin your journey on the finest of days, let this leathern cloak be always at hand against sudden showers. CXXXI. A SCAELET COAT. If you belong to the blue or the green faction, why put on scarlet ? Be careful, lest by that proceeding you be reckoned a deserter. CXXXII. A CAP. If I could, I should have been glad to send you a whole suit ; as it is I send you only a covering for your head. CXXXIII. BALTIC CLOAKS. My wool is not deceitful, nor do I change my colour in the dying vat. Tyrian wool mav please by such means ; my colour is that of the sheep I clothed. My wool has never known the arts of TjTe, The sheep that bore it was its only dyer. TF. S. B. I'm what I seem ; not any dyer gave, But nature dyed this colour that I have. Wright. CXXXIV. A BEEAST-BAND. Breast-band ! confine the swelling bosom of my mistress, that I may be able to cover and press it with my hand. CXXXV. A DIKIfEE DEESS. JN"© law courts or bail cases are known to me. My duty is to recline on embroidered couches. CXXXVI. A WOOLLES" CLOAK. Fine smooth garments are of little use in winter. My shaggy covering will impart warmth to your under-dress. ^ From the Santones, a people of Gaul. 2 It resemhled the short coat sometimes put on monkeys. 622 maetial's cxxxyii. white woolleit cloaks. We recommend ourselves for service in the amphitheatre, 'when our white covering encompasses the chilly toga. CXXXYIII. A TABLE-COYEE. Let this woollen cloth protect your splendid citron table. On mine a dish may be placed without doing any harm. CXXXIX. A LIBUE,:friATf HOOD. You did not know, simpleton, how to suit your cloak to me. Ton put on a white cloak ; you have to take off a green one.^ cxL. cilicia:»- socks. These are not formed of wool, but of the beard of the fetid goat.2 Yq^^ j^riay bu^ry your foot in this hairy covering. CXLI. A SYNTHESIS, OK EESTAL EOBE. While your toga enjoys a rest of five days,^ you may, if you please, make use of this vestment. CXLII. A MUEELEB If, with the intention of reciting, I happen to present to YOU a little book, let this muifler defend your ears. . CXLIII. PATAYIAN WOOLLETT SHIKTS. The Patavian triple tissue is composed of many fleeces ; it is only a saw that can cut these thick shirts. CXLIY. A SPONGE. Chance has given you this sponge, useful for wiping tables, when it is slightly distended with the water which it imbibes. CXLY. A CLOAK OE LONG fiAIR. Such is my whiteness, such the beauty of my loDg hair, that you would like to wear me even in the midst of harvest. CXLYI. A PILLOW. !Eub your hair with the nard of Cosmus, and your pillow ^ A portion of the wool of the hood, which fell down over the upper part of the white cloak, adhered to it, and gave it something of a green line. ^ From Cinyps, a river in Africa, on the banks of which goats abounded. ' The five days of the Saturnalia, during which the synthesis was worn instead of the toga. See Ep. 72, 79, etc. BOOK XIV.] EPIGRAMS. 623 will smell of it. WTien your hair has lost the perfume, the pillow retains it. CXLYII. LONG-HAIRED COVERLETS. Tour woolly coverlet is radiant with purple trimmings ; but what avails that, if an old wife freezes you ? Warm purple rugs without, what profit these, If an old wife within doth make thee freeze ? Wright. CXLVIII. A PAIR OP BLAI^KETS. Lest the mattress should be too plainly seen on your scantily-covered couch, we two sisters come to your aid. CXLIX. A TUCKER. 1 fear those whose development is large : give me to some tender maiden, that the linen of which I am formed may delight in her snow-white charms. CL. AN ORNAMENTED COVERLET. The land of Memphis makes you this present. The Babylonian needle is now surpassed by the loom of the Nile. CLI. A woman's GIRDLE. At present I am long enough ; but if you should swell with an agreeable burden, I should then prove too short for you. CLII. A SQUARE RUG. The land of the learned Catullus^ will supply you with blankets. We are from the region of Helicaon.^ CLIII. AN APRON. Let the rich man give you a tunic ; I can only give you an apron. If I were a rich man, I would give you both. CLIV. AMETHTST-COLOURED WOOLS. Since I am drunk with the blood of the Sidonian shell- fish, I do not see why I should be called a sober wool.^ ^ Verona. 2 From Patavium, founded by Helicaon, the son of Antenor, B. x. Ep, 93. ' An allusion to the derivation of amethystus, from a and fjieOvo), because it was supposed to have the power of preventing intoxication. 624 martial' s CLV. WHITE WOOL. Apiilia is noted for fleeces of tlie first quality ; Parma for those of the second. The sheep whose wool is of the third quality distinguishes Altinum. CLYI. TTEIAN WOOL. I was the present of the shepherd-prince to his Spartan mistress. Her mother Leda's purple rohe was inferior to me. CLYII. POLLEIfTIJfE WOOL. The territory of Pollentia is accustomed to give us, not only wool of a dark colour, but also cups. CLYIII. THE SAME. I am, it is true, a sad-coloured wool ; but suitable^ for shorn attendants,^ such as are not required for the higher offices of the table. CLIX. MATTEESS-STUFFIN"GS OE LEUCOIflUM. Is the sacking^ uncomfortably close to your pillow ? Take this wool plucked from Leuconian^ blankets. CLX. CIECTJS STUEEIT^G. The marsh-reed, when cut up, is called circus-stuffing, and is what the poor man buys instead of Leuconian stuffing. CLXI. EEATHEES. "When fatigued, you may recline upon Amyclsean feathers, which the swan's inner coat provides for you. CLXII. HAY. Let your fragile bed be stuffed with hay filched Jfrom the mules. Pale care does not visit hard couches. Stuff thy cheap tick with hay, pale care will fly : She never doth upon a hard bed lie. Wright. ^ Schneidewin reads neta ; we follow the old reading, apta. 2 The better class of slaves wore their hair long ; the inferior sort had it cut close. Comp. B. viii. Ep. 51. 3 Fascia. Some strap by which the pillow was buckled to the couch. * From the Leuci, or Leucones.. a people of Gaul. «l BOOK XIV.] EPIGEAMS. 625 CLXIII. A BATH BELL. G-ive up (playing with) the ball : the hell of the warm baths rings. Do you continue your game ? You wish, then, for a cold bath before you return home.^ CLXIY. A QiroiT. When the shining Spartan quoit is flying through the air, keep at a distance, children. Let it not be fatal more than it once was.^ CLXV. A LTEE. The lyre restored Eurydice to her bard (Orpheus) ; but he lost her again by his want of self-control and his too im- patient love. CLXVI. THE SAME. The lyre, which attracted woods and detained wild beasts, has often been ejected from the theatre of Pompey.^ The tale of Orpheus is, I 've no doubt, true, For stocks and stones the harpist still pursue. TV. S. B. CLXVII. A QUILL EOE THE LYEE. That an inflamed blister may not rise upon your chafed thumb, let this white quill elicit the sound of the gentle lyre. CLXVIII. A HOOP. Awheel must be protected (with a tire). Tou make me a useful present. It will be a hoop to children, but to me a tire for my wheel. CLXIX. THE SAME. "Why do these jingling rings'^ move about upon the rolling wheel ? In order that the passers-by may get out of the .way of the hoop. CLXX. A aOLDEN STATUE OE VICTOEY. Victory is here presented, without the intervention of 1 The warm baths, in which it was usual to bathe after playing at ball, were closed at a certain time ; those who did not go to them before they were closed might bathe in cold water. See B. v. Ep. 21 ; B. vi. Ep. 42. 2 Alluding to the case of Hyacinthus, killed accidentally by Phcebus. 3 By the populace, who sometimes drove the musicians off the stage. See Spectac. Ep. 21. * Small rings were attached to boys' hoops to make a jingling noise. 2 s 626 MAETIAL'S hazard, to him to whom the Bhine gave a true name.^ Slave, pour out ten cups of Falernian.^ CLXXI. A SMALL STATTJE OF BETJTUS's FAVOrEITE. Little as is this statuette, its glory is by no means incon- siderable. Brutus set his affection on this boy. CLXXII. THE CORIFTHIAN LIZAED-SLATEE. Spare, treacherous child, the lizard which is crawling to- wards you. It is eager to perish by your hands. CLXXIII. A PICTTJEE OE HTACINTHUS. The young grandson of Oebalus, at once the shame and the regret of Phoebus, turns his dying eyes from the cruel disc.3 CLXXIV. A MAEBLE HEEMAPHEODITE. He entered the water a male ; ^ he left it both male and female. In one feature only does he resemble his father;^ in every other his mother.^ CLXXy. A PICTUEE OF DATfAE. Why, ruler of Olympus, did Danae receive pay from thee, if Leda granted thee her favours for nothing ? CLXXVI. A aEEMAN MASK. I am the fancy of the potter, the mask of a red-haired Batavian. This countenance, at which you smile, is ac object of terror to children. Work'd in red clay, a Dutchman's phiz am I ; I move your laughter, but make children cry. W. S. B. CLXXVII. THE COEINTHIAN HEECULES. The infant crushes the two snakes without turning his eyes from them. Already might the hydra have dreaded the tender hands. See how the child doth the two serpents tear, | And squeeze out life ! Hydra e'en now may fear. WrighL l ^ To Domitian, surnamed Germanicus. ' Answering to the ten letters in tlie name of Germanicus. B. i. Ep, 72. 3 See Ep. 164. * The fountain of Salmacis. See Ovid's Metam. B. iv. ^ Mercury. « Venus. 4il BOOK XIV.] EPIGEAMS. ' 627 CLXXYIII. A TEEEA-COTTA HEECTJLES. I am fragile ; but do not, I warn you, despise my statuette. Alcides blushes not to bear my name. CLXXIX. MIIS^EEYA IIT SILVEE. Tell me, fierce maiden-goddess, why, since you have a hel- met and a spear, you have not also an ^gis ? " Csesar has it." Say, gallant maid, of helm and spear possest, Where is thine ^Egis ? 'Tis on Caesar's breast. Elphinston. CLXXX. EUEOPA. The time, excellent father of the gods, when you might best have changed yourself into a bull, was when your lo was a cow. Then, rather, Jove, should'st thou have chose to bee A bull, when lo was a cow for thee. May. CLXXXI. THE MAEBLE LEANDEE. The daring Leander exclaimed amid the swelling waters : " Drown me, ye waves, when I am on my return." Thus bold Leander cry'd i'th' swelling maine, Then drown me waves, when I returne againe. 3Iay. Thus bold Leander spake to the swell'd wave ; Spare me till I return, be then my grave. Wright. CLXXXII. A TEEEA-COTTA FIGUEE OE A HU]!fOHEACK. Prometheus, I should think, was drunk when he gave such a monster to earth. Even he amused himself with Saturna- lian clay.^ CLXXXIII. HOMEE'S " BATTLE OF THE EEOGS AT«"D MICE." Eead of the frogs, sung by the bard of Mseonia, and learn to relax your brow with such pleasantries as mine Read Homer's Frogs and Mice, and when you've done, Perhaps you '11 know how to enjoy my fun, W. S. B. CLXXXIV. A PAECHMEITT COPT OP HOMEE. The Iliad, and the story of Ulysses, hostile to the kingdom of Priam, lie deposited in these many folds of skin. 1 He had his Saturnalia as well as we. 2 s 2 628 Martial's CLXXXY. TIE GIL S " GNAT. Receive, studious reader, the " Grnat " of the eloquent Virgil, and do not entirely reject drolleries to read " Arma virumque cano." CLXXXTI. VIRGIL OTf PARCHMEl^T, WITH PORTRAIT. How small a quantity of parchment holdss the great Maro ! His portrait ornaments the first page. . CLXXXYII. MES"A]S"DER's " THAIS." In this character did he first satirize the free loves of young men. It was not Grlycere, but Thais, that was his mistress in youth. CLXXXVIII. CICERO O^S PARCHMENT. If this parchment be your companion on a long journey, you may imagine that you are travelling with Cicero. CLXXXIX. A COPT OE PROPERTIUS. Cynthia, theme of the youthful muse of the eloquent Pro- pertius, has not received more fame from him than she has given in return. CXC. LITT IN A SINGLE TOLTJME. The voluminous Livy, of whom my bookcase would once scarcely have contained the whole, is now comprised in this small parchment volume. In a small parchment see great Livy roll'd ; Whom all my study was too small to hold. Wright. CXCI. SALLUST. Sallust, according to the judgment of the learned, will rank as the prince of Roman historiographers. CXCII. OTID's METAMORPHOSES ON PARCHMENT. This mass, which, as you see, consists of a great number of leaves, contains fifteen books of the verses of Naso. CXCITI. TIBULLTJS. The playful Nemesis consumed Math love the amorous Ti- buUus, whom it delighted to be a cipher in his own house.* ^ Ilia regat cimctos, illi sint omnia curfe, Et juvet in tola me nihil esse domo. — TibuU. i. 5. BOOK XIV.] EPIGRAMS. 629 CXCIT. LUCAN. There are some who say that I am not a poet ; but the bookseller, who sells me, thinks that I am. People there are who say I 'm not a poet, Not so the booksellers, — and they should know it. W. S. B. CXCV. CATULLUS. Great Yerona owes as much to her Catullus, as little Mantua owes to her Yirgil. CXCVI. CALVUS' POEM O^S WARM AT^D COLD SPEIKGS. This paper, which tells you of the virtues and names oi water, deserves to be set afloat on the waters it describes. The verse, that dares the various streams to limn, Had better down her fav'rite waters swim. Elpldnston. CXCVII. DWARF MULES. Erom these mules you need not fear a fall ; you often sit higher on the ground. You need not fear a fall from my low mule ; You almost higher sit when earth's your stool. Wright. CXCVIII. A GALLIC PUPPY. If you wish to hear all the pretty tricks of the little puppy, a whole page would not suffice for me to enumerate them. CXCIX. A JEN:trET. This small horse, who picks up his swift hoofs in such regular time, is an Asturian, and comes from the gold- producing regions. CC. THE GREYHOUND.^ The active greyhound hunts not for himself, but for his master, and will bring you the hare unhurt in his teeth. 1 All the Latin Dictionaries interpret Vertagus as a greyhound, but Mr. Amos translates vertagus acer as a keen tumbler, and refers for his au- thority to Dr. Nash's commentary on the following lines in Butler's Hudibras : — *' Like a tumbler that does play His game and looks another way." We give the note as it stands in Bohn's edition of Hudibras, page 98, and leave the reader to determine. " A dog, called by the Latins Vertagus, that roils himself in a heap, and tumbles over, disguising his shape and 630 maetial's cci. the weestler. I do not like him for conquering, but for knowing how to succumb, and still more for having learned the art of retriev- ing himself. ecu. THE APE. I am an ape, cunning in avoiding the darts hurled at me. Had I a tail, I should be a cercopithecus} CCIII. A EEMALE DANCES OE CADIZ. Tarn tremulum crissat, tarn blandum prurit, ut ipsum Masturbatorem fecerit Hippolvtum. Salteggia con si minuto tremito, ed eccita con tanta lusmga, che Ippolito stesso si masturberebbe. Graglia. CCIT. CYMBALS. The brazen instruments, which lament the love of the Phrygian mother,^ are often sold by her hungry priest. CCY. THE FAYOTJEITE. Mine be a favourite whose delicate skin is due to tender youth, and not to art ; for whose sake no maiden may be pleasing in my eyes. CCYI. THE CESTTJS. Bind upon thy neck, child, this cestus, which is love itself, warm from the bosom of Yenua. CCYII. THE SAME. Take this cestus, steeped in the nectar of Cytherea ; a cincture which kindled love in Jupiter. CCYIII. A SHOET-HAXD WEITEE. Though your words run swiftly, the hand is swifter still. The hand has recorded before the tongue has uttered. The swifter hand doth the swift words out-run : Before the tongue hath spoke the hand hath done. Wright. motion, till he is near enough to his object to seize it by a sudden spring. The tumbler was generally used in hunting rabbits. See Caius de Canibus Britannicis (Kav, on Englishe Dogges, sm. 4to, Lond. 1576), and Martial, lib. xiv. Epig. 200. ^ A tailed monkey. ^ Cybele. BOOK XIT.] EPI&BAMS. 631 Swift though, the words, the pen still swifter sped ; The pen has finish'd e'er the tongue has said. Melmoth. CCIX. A SHELL. Let the Egyptian papyrus be made smooth by the marine shell ; and the pen will then speed along without inter- ruption. CCX. THE BUFFOON'. His folly is not feigned, or assumed by cunning art. Who- ever is not more than wise enough, is wise. A modest folly may for wisdome go ; And he 's less wise that would seeoa more than so. Wright. ccxi. A sheep's head. You have cut the soft neck of the Phrixean husband of the flock. ^ Did he, who gave you your clothing, cruel man, deserve this ? You the Phryxean beast do kill ; yet he Disrob'd himself to dress ungrateful thee. Wright. CCXII. A DWAEF. If you look only at the head of the man, you might fancy him to be Hector ; if you see him on his legs, you would think him Astyanax. TMiom for his head you Hector think, you '11 call Hector's young son, when you perceive how tall. Wright. CCXIII. A SMALL SHIELD. This, which is wont often to be beateu,^ but rarely to beat, will be a small shield to you, but would be a large one for a dwarf. CCXIY. TOUXa COMEDIA]S"S. No one of that troop will be the Mio-ow/zcVoc (hated one) ; but every one is ready to be Aig s^aTrarCjy (the double de- ceiver).^ CCXV. A CLASP. Tell me, clasp, frankly, of what advantage are you to actresses and lute-players ? To enhance their favours. * A ram such as that which carried Phrixus. 2 Because the gladiators, called parmularii, or shield-bearers, were dis- couraged by Uomitian. ' The names of two of Menander's comedies. 632 maetial's epigrams. ccxyi. a hawk. He used to prey upon birds ; now he is the servant of the bird-catcher, and deceives birds, repining that they are not caught for himself. Whilom his own, and now the fowler's thief: To swoop, not for himself, is all his grief. Elphinston. CCXYII. A CATEEER. Tell me how many there are of you, and at what price you wish to dine. Not a word more ; dinner is ready for you. Your ordinary and number name ; what is 't ? Not a word more ; your supper 's drest and disht. Wright. CCXYIII. EODS FOE BTED-CATCHIlSra. The bird is deceived, not by the rods only, but also by the song, while the reed^ is stealthily stretched out by the concealed hand. ccxix. A bullock's heaet. As you, a poor lawyer, write verses that bring you no profit, accept a heart similar to your own. ccxx. the cook. Art alone is not enough for a cook. I do not like my palate to be his slave ; the cook should have the taste of his master. A cook should double one sense have : for he Should taster for himself and master be. Wright. CCXXI. A GEIDIEOlSr AISTD SPIT. Let your slim gridiron be greased with the crescent-shaped steak. Let the foaming boar smoke upon the long spit. CCXXII. the COl^EECTIOIfEE. That hand will construct for you a thousand sweet figures of art ; for it the frugal bee principally labours. CCXXIIL EICH BEEAKFASTS. Rise ; the baker is already selling breakfasts to the chil- dren ; and the crested birds of dawn are crowing on all sides. ^ A reed covered with bird-lime. SUPPOSITITIOUS EPIGRAMS. Wheis" asked what are my employments while living in the country, I answer briefly thus : At dawn I address my prayer to the gods ; I visit my slaves and my fields, and allot to my people each his due portion of work. Then I read, and invoke Phoebus, and solicit the Muses. Next I anoint myself with olive oil, and take gentle exercise in the palaestra ; at peace in mind, and free from interest-bearing debts. Then 1 dine, drink, sing, play, bathe, sup, and go to bed ; while my little lamp consumes its modicum of oil, and furnishes these trifles elaborated by the aid of the muses at night. When to my farm retired, how I do live If any ask, this short account I give : The gods at the first light I do adore ; And place this care, all other cares before. My grounds I visit then, and servants call, And their just tasks I do impose on all. I study next, rouse my poetic vein, My body then anoint, and gently strain With some meet exercise ; exult in mind At every turn, myself both free to find From crimes and debts : last, I bathe, sup, laugh, drink • Jest, sing, rest, and on all that passes, think. A little lamp the wliile sends forth a ray. Which to my nightly studies makes a day. Anon. 1695. 634 SUPPOSITITIOUS II. Yarns happened lately to ask me to supper ; the appoint- ments were splendid, the supper itself was paltry. The table was laden with golden dishes, not with meats ; the servants placed before us plenty to delight the eye, but very little to satisfy the appetite. I then observed : " I came to feed, not my eyes, but my stomach ; either place food before me. Varus, or take away your rich service." Varus did lately me to supper call, The table sumptuous was, the supper small ; Loaden it was with weight of gold, not meat ; Much to be seen was served, little to eat ; Varus, our mouths, not eyes, to feast we're here ; Take hence thy plate, or fill 't with better cheer. Anon. 1695. With lace bedizen'd comes her man, And I must dine with Lady Anne ; A silver service loads the board ; Of eatables a slender hoard. *' Your pride, and not your victuals, spare : I came to dine, and not to stare." Dr. Hoadly. III. You run about, Ponticus, incessantly, from one great man's house to another, and leave no spot untrodden: the objects at which you aim, Ponticus, are great ; you are a great man. Whatever you do, Ponticus, you do without wit- ness, without noise ; you admit few persons, Ponticus, into your confidence ; you are a cautious man. Nature made you, Pouticus, remarkable for good looks ; you would have been worthy of Helen, Ponticus ; you are a handsome man. "With your voice, Ponticus, you could have moved adamant, it sounds sweetly, Ponticus, you are a sweet man. Thus is it you deceive others, Ponticus, thus it is you deceive even yourself Will you have me say the truth, Ponticus ? You are no man at all. EPIGEAMS. 635 IV. ON A WOMAN or TJNPLEASING COUNTENANCE. You are pleasing, when felt; you are pleasing, when heard; if not seen, you are altogether pleasing; if seen, you please in no way whatever. Whilst in the dark on thy soft hand I hung, And heard the tempting siren in thy tongue, What flames, what darts, what anguish I endured ! But when the candle enter'd 1 was cured. Spectator, No. 52. Y. ON MILO. Milo is not at home : Milo having gone abroad, his fields lie fallow ; his wife however is none the less productive. The reason why his fields are sterile, and his wife fruitful, I will tell you : his field receives no attention, his wife much. Milo abroad, one wonder all declare : His lands lie fallow, yet his wife can bear. The contrast strange some deep diviners scan : She has, tho' they have not, a husbandman. Ulphmston. YI. THE PUNISHMENT OP A PLATEE. A well-fed player was guilty of an ofience against pro- priety, before the statue of Jupiter ; as a punishment, Ju- piter enjoined that he should live at his own expense. VII. ON AN IMPUDENT MAN. You say that you have the mouth of your uncle, the nose and eyes of your father, and the gait of your mother. Since you thus represent your family, and there is no part in your body but attests it, pray tell me, whose face have you You say, your nose and eyes your father's are : Your mouth your grandsire's, with your mother's air. Since every part hath got some stamp upon 't ; Pray, tell us, if you can, who is your front. Hay. 636 SUPPOSITITIOUS Yin. TO MATTUS. He who is denied, when you knock at his door, know you not what he says ? " I am asleep to you, Mattus." He who denies himself at home, you see, Mattus, doth say, " I am asleep to thee." Wright. IX. TO MILO. Erankincense, pepper, dresses, silver, cloaks, gems, you are accustomed, Milo, to sell, and the buyer carries them off with him. Traffic in your wife is more profitable ; for, though often sold, she never leaves the seller, or lessens his store. The spice, clothes, plate, and jewels, which each day By you are sold, the buyer bears away. Bat your wife's merchandise yields greater gain. Which you so often sell, yet still retain. Hay. You sell your wife's rich jewels, lace and clothes : The price once paid, away the purchase goes : But she a better bargain proves, I'm told : Still sold returns, and still is to be sold. Dr. Hoadly. X. TO THE TOUN-Q-. Learn, young man, how with eloquence to plead your cause, that you may be your own defender, guard, and support. I would not that fortune should place me in the highest or in the lowest rank, but that she should assign to me the middle walk of life. Envy besets those in high places, oppression those who are needy ; how happy does he live, who is free from both. What nature denies, industry may accord ; rarely do the rich attain the blessings which are allotted to the poor. O ye young men, who rejoice in a time of life apt for study, learn ; years pass aAvay like running water. Do not, while you have the opportunity of learning, waste your days, ye docile youths, in idle pursuits ; neither the running water nor the fleeting hour ever returns. Let youth ripen in the study of Virtue, that life may pass with well-merited esteem and honour. EPIGRAMS. 637 XI. TO SC^TOLA. Scaevola, you dine with every one, but no one witli you ; you drain the wine cups of others ; but no one drains yours. Either make a return, or cease to court invitations ; it is dis- graceful always to receive and never to give. XII. TO ATJCTUS. Tou expect from us Auctus, that love which you accord to no one ; you expect from us that confidence which you repose in no one. You expect from us honour w^hich you have not earned. It is remarkable that one who grants no- thing himself should ask so much from others. XIII. OlS- PHILIJS. Philus has fine mantles, and encircles his fingers with gold rings ; and yet Philus is poorer than a pauper. He has Tyrian cloaks, mules, beasts of burden, clients ; and yet Philus is poorer than a pauper. Philus has halls furnished with royal magnificence ; and yet Philus is poorer than a pauper. He is hungry and thirsty, though surrounded with gold and clad in stately robes of purple, he is nevertheless hungry and thirsty. That the pangs of hunger visit him, is told by his paleness and thinness ; yet his golden bulla would indicate that the pangs of hunger are unknown to him. Shall the unhappy man, then, be- come a slave for bread r His golden bulla prevents him from being a slave. Or if, with suppliant prayer, he asks any favour, his silken robe is an obstacle to success. That he may not perish, then, let him become poor instead of rich ; for, if he became poor, he might become richer. XIV. TO ATJLTJS. Neither your birth, nor your good looks, nor the dignity of your rank, nor the respectability of your character, Aulus, will profit you in the least ; for being poor, you will always be poor ; and you will be enrolled in the lowest of the low- est class. 638 STJpposiTiotJS. XY. TO EEGHILTJS. Eegulus, Hermagoras says that we must not please every- body. Choose out of the many whom you would please. XVI. TO AULICUS. You give me much, Aulicus; I fear that you will expect much in return. I had rather that you would not give, if you look for a return. XVII. TO GEEMA5TICUS. You raise your voice, Grermanicus, in the strife, that your furious tones may give utterance to the fury of your mind. XVIII. TO BASSUS. Every friend loves, but not every one that loves is a friend. But whomsoever you love, Bassus, be also a friend to him. XIX. TO TTJEGIDTJS. You prolong your dinner, Turgidus, till nightfall ; your sup- per till day-break ; and you drench yourself day and night with all kinds of wine. And although you study appear- ances, you decline to marry; and you give as your reason for declining, "A chaste life pleases me." You lie, Turgidus; yours is not chaste life. Would you have me tell you what a chaste life is ? Moderation. XX. OlS- CHLOE. You long for a wanton G-anymede ; you are the toy oi any one ; you overcome even the chastest with desire. Many an adulterer meanwhile haunts your threshold; you listen to any offer ; how general is your taste ! I should willingly have called you Demophile, had not your mother chosen to call you Chloe. She is wrong and she is right. XXI. TO LAIS. Lais, most beauteous of women, whenever I ask you the price of your charms, you forthwith demand a great talent. I do not buy repentance, Lais, at so high a price. EPIGRAMS. 639 XXTI. TO MACEINUS. You used to say, Macrinus, that men never died of mush- rooms. But mushrooms have at last been the cause of your death. XXIII. TO TEEBONUS. You will be steward, Trebonus, for a long time, since you are so skilled in multiplying a single hare. A hare is scarcely sufficient for one person ; but you, by your skill in preserving an old hare, make it do duty for a thousand. XXIY, ON" SATIRE. The Poet, who has everywhere seized the useful and pre- sented it with the agreeable, is everywhere mentioned with praise in the well-known page. Him, I would follow at a distance, lightly touching on matters both serious and sport- ive, nay, I would even furnish sport, while treating on seri- ous matters.' I proposed to sketch, with a dash of colour, certain traits of character ; if I carp at others, I also carp at myself. There is no malice or ill-nature, no spiteful attempts at a grin ; I laugh at myself, and I laugh at others. I laugh at myself as well as others, that no one may laugh at me. The ill-natured carper delights in repeated attacks ; and contrives that he who has been satirized once should be satirized three or four times. But I am unwilling that any serious consequence should attach itself to those whom I have satirized; let the cause and its effect be forgotten together. XXV. TO GALLUS. I now know, G-allus, why you avoid the society of ladies ; your purse is full of wind, not of coin. But if your flesh ^ Schneidwin has, Quod sequor a longe cum ludis seria libans, Imo parem ludos seria notificans.' Of which no sense can be made. Possibly the lines should be, Hunc [nempe Horatium] sequor et longe, cum ludis seria libans, Imo parem ludos seria notificans. But the text of the whole Epigram is so corrupt, that it is useless to think of amending it. It should never have been attached to the works of Martial ; and the same may be said of those that follow. 640 SUPPOSITIOUS EPIGEAMS. does- not sin^ your mind, my friend, defiles itself; your de- viation to the pleasures of the table is sufficient to con- vict you of want of self-control. Your stomach, I sup- pose, has resolved to empty your purse ; under its influence you will always be a poor man. Yet in this way, Gallus, you may certainly secure peaceful slumbers, and set thieves at defiance. Your stomach takes care of all your money. XXYI. TO GLAUCUS. You have a horse that wants barley, Grlaucus, a slave that wants clothes, and a house that wants a broom. Your hack is dirty and thin, and your servants' bones are stiff"; disgust- ing dirt defiles your dwelling. Your horse no longer obeys the , spur, * * * * your house is entered only on rare oc- casions, * * * * No poverty or needy toil compels you to live thus. The sheep gives you a fleece, clothe your slave with it ; the field gives you oats, let your horse taste them ; bid farewell to dirt, and sweep your house. XXVII. That the cock might not suJEfer in plumpness from amor- ous excesses, he is converted into a capon. After this, he is brought up in darkness, while a kind hand provides him with corn, and his crop, purged with myrtle, is crammed to fatten him. How ingenious is luxury ! THE END. LONDON- : PRINTED BT WILLIAM CLOWES AND SONS, STAMFORD STREET. INDEX, Abolla, the, 372. Acerra, on, 38. ^fulanus, to, 295. Mg\e, on, 62, 72. iElia, to, 34. iElius, to, 72. iEmilian way, 132. iEmilianus, to, 50, 262. iEmilius, on, 554. .Eschylus, to, 395, 429. ^sculapius, to, on the hair of Earinus, 400. .Ethiopians at Rome, 4. Aethon, on, 579. Afer, to, 193, 214, 296, 404; the husband of an ugly wife, 490 ; on, 563. Afra, on, 75. Africanus, on, 549. Agathinus, a juggler, to, 412. Agrippa, area and portico of, 139 note. Alanda, to, 671 . Alban wine, 602. Albula, notice of, 29 et note. Alcimus, on, 68. Alis, modesty of, 40. Almo, on, 493. Alpha of cloaks, 235. Altinum and Aquileia, to the banks of the, 188. Amazonicus, on, 196. Amillus, on, 333. Ammianus, on, 87 ; to, 96 ; on his drinking bad wine, 302. Amoenus, to, 576. Amphitheatre, on the, 1, 3; seats at the, 224, 514. Ampulla, an, 618. Amy clean dye, 361. Amyntas, a swineherd, 518. Andragoras, on, 285. 2 T Andromeda, 18. Annius, on, 327. Ant, on an, enclosed in amber, 268. Antenor, city of, 63. Antiochus, the unskilful barber, 535. Antiope, the courtesan, 71. Antipathy, expression of, 39. Antipolitan tunny, 218. Antique vases, foolish admiration of, 352. Antiques of Rome, 352. Antistius Rusticus, death of, 408. Antonius Primus, on, 457. Antulla, on the tomb of, 82, 83. Anxur (Terracina), 473, 476. Ape, the, 630. Aper, to, 454 ; on, 515, 558 ; sober when poor, inebriated when rich, 577. Aphronitrum, 612. Apollinaris, on his book being sent to, 217; to, on the charms of Formiee, 460. Apollo, to, 39, 198 ; on the anni- versary of Lucan's birth-day, 314 ; to, that Stella may have the consulship, 414. Apollo and the Muses, 97. Apollodorus, birth-place of, 57; a person of weak memory, on, 232. Apona, the birth-place of Livy, Flaccus, &c., 57. Aponus, spring of, 280. Apricius, on, 120, 140; to, 168. Apricots, Persian, 593. Apron, an, 623. Apulia, land of, 109. Aquinus and Fabricius, on, 71. Arabirus at Arcadia, 18. Arena, on a spectacle in the, 76 64^2 INDEX. Aretulla, on the dove of, 363. Argiletum, a place of business in Rome, 25, 83. Argive colonists, domains of the, 205. Argo, on a fragment of the ship, 312. Argynnus, to, 310. Aricia, town of, 97 note. Arretine pots, 52. Arria and Paetus, on, 30. Artemidorus, the pancratiast, 296 ; to, 378; on his unsuccessfully sacrificing to the Graces, 242; on, 402. Asparagus, 590. Asper, on, 373. Atestinus, the lawyer, 146. Athenagoras, on, 440. Atilius, to, on Paulus feigning sick- ness, 436. Atrectus, the bookseller, 83, Attalus, a busy-body, 65; to, 89, 193. Attic honey, 601. Atticilla, to, 580. Atticus, to, commending his exer- cise in the race, 319 ; on Marcus Antonius, 442. Attis, the beloved of Cybele, 127 note. Auctioneer, on an, 66 ; a success- ful lover, 266. Auctus, to 402, 550, 637. Aufidia, the mistress of Scsevinus, 165. Augustus, task of, 19. Aulices, to, 63. Aulus, to, 236, 297, 310, 380, 434, 516, 567, 637 ; on Sextilianus, 285. Aulus Pudens, 39 ; to, 286, 309. Author, his address to the reader, showing where his books may be purchased, 24; to his book, "^24; in want of a cloak, 298. Authors, celebrated, on the coun- tries of, 57 ; poor remimeration of, 431. Avarice, folly of, 370. Avaricious friend, to an, 214. Avernus, waters of, 57. Avitus, to, 32, 299, 392, 495, 498. «I Babylon, 1. Baccara, on, 287, 522 ; to, 345 Bacchus, triumphs of, 360. Back-scratcher, a, 615. Bad couple, to a, 365. Bsetic cloaks, 621. Baeticus, to, 167, 168. Baetis, to the river, 586. Baiffi, 57, 281, 205, 538; baths of, 280, 281. Baian farm of Faustinus, 156. Balbus, 101. Baldness, 246. Balm, 612. Banquet, the poet's preparation for a, 471. Barbara, explanation of, 1 note. Barber's instruments, 609. Barbers, Roman, 285, 341. Barley, 589. Basket, a, 617. Bassa, to, 45, 178; on, 70. Bassus, to, 42, 167, 586, 638; on the country-house of Faustinus, 156 ; on his pretending to be a knight, 233 ; a writer of trage- dies, 249 ; on, 153,442. Bath bell, a, 625. Baths of various individuals, 94; of Agrippa and of Titus, 145 ; of Etruscus, 280 ; at Cuma and Baise, 280. Bazaars of Rome, 423, 424, 488. Bean-flour, 612. Beans, 588; Egyptian, 595. Bear, entangled" in bird-lime, 9; tossed by a rhinoceros, 15. Beard, ceremony on first cutting the, 134 note; to one who arrang- ed it in three different ways, 3/2. Beau, epigram on a, 1 60. Beautiful domain, to the possessor of a, 566. Beauty, without chastity, 375. Bee, on a, enclosed in amber, 192. Beestings, 592. Beet, 589. Begging incendiary, 154. Belt, use of the, 609. Beta of togas, 235. Bilbilis, notices of, 49, 203 ; towns, IK^DEX. 643 mountains, and rivers near, 49 ; proud of Licinianus, 57 ; the poet's address to his fellow-towns- men of, 498. Bird-catching, rods for, 632. Bird-lime, bear entangled in the, 9. Birth-day of Csesar, 177. Birth-day of Domitian, 177; to his, 572 bis. Biscuit, Rhodian, 613. Bithynicus, to, 99, 397, 580; on Telesinus, 284. Bladder foot-ball, 610. Bleesus, the notary, 367. Blankets, a pair of, 623. Boar, female, that brought forth voung in consequence of a wound, \Obis, 11. Boaster, to a, 365. Boletaria, 617. Bononia, 159. Book, Martial's addresses to his, 24, 131, 132, 133, 217, 219, 342, 347, 349, 499, 500, 545, 546 ; Cssar's favourable opinion on, sought for, 26 ; the emperor's reply, 26 ; epigram on his, 47, 506 ; instruc- tions to his, on sending it to Pro- culus, 60 ; on sending one to Re- gulus, 81 ; recommends Luper- cus to purchase it, 83 ; address to his, 85 ; to Severus on his sending one which was unac- knowledged, 218 ; on presenting it to Domitian, 220, 228; on presenting it to Arcanus, 386 ; address of the, to the reader, 445 ; on publishing a second edition of the, 445 ; sent to Pliny the younger, 455. Book-case, 609. Book-covering, a wooden one, 615. Books, good, bad, and indifferent, 32, 33 ; on Domitian' s admiration of his, 189 ; on a present of. to Varro, 237 ; all dedicated to Do- mitian, 349 ; to Nerva, on the abbreviation of his, 547. Booksellers of Rome, 83. Botrodus, a small town near Bil- bilis, 49 et note. 2x2 Bovillse, 89. Boy, price of a, 55. Boys, on a show of, sporting with bulls, 238. Breakfasts, rich ones, 632. Breast-band, a, 621. Breastplate of Domitian, 303, 304. Brooms, 615. Brothers, two, 171. Brutus, the consort of Porcia, 45. Brutus's boy, statue of, 124. Brutus's favourite, a small statue of, 626. Bubalus, notice of the, 16 note. Buffoon, the, 631. Bulbs, 592. Bull, means of irritating him, 8 note; bearing Hercules to the skies, 12 bis. Bull and the elephant, on the, 13. BuUock's heart, 632. Butunti, a town of Apulia, 203. Caballus, poem on, 44 note. Cabbage sprouts, 590. Ca^cilianus, to, 34, 59, 62, 121, 126, 184, 201, 265, 301, 383, 430, 518 ; on his prandial greediness, 103; a troublesome pleader, 276; on, 332. Ca^cilius, a low buffoon, to, 44 ; on, 513. Caecuban wine, 603. Csedicianus, to, 84, 375 ; on a like- ness of Marcus Antonius, 462 ; on Afer, 490. Cffilia, to, 318, 532 ; wife of Pan- nicus, 292. Cselius, to, 323. Caerellia, on, 207. Caerellia and Gellia, on, 186. Cgeretan wine, 604. Caesar, to, on the concourse of strangers to Rome, 4 ; on his banishing informers, 5, 6 ; on a woman's fighting with a lion, 6 bis ; on an elephant's kneeling to, 12 ; craving his indulgence, 21 ; requesting him to look fa- vourably on his books, 26 ; his reply, 26; on some does fight- 644 INDEX. ing, 213; the poet's praises and flattering of, 230, 255, 306, 373 ; address to, on the temple of the Flavian family, 409. {See Titus a7id Domitian.) Caesius Sabinus, on a crown of roses sent to, 425. Caesonia, on the birth-day of, 413. Caietrjius, bond of, 366. Caius, on, 100 ; to, 454. Caius Julius Proculus, on, 516. Calenus, to, 73, 465. Calicos Audaces, 578. Callaic gold, 195. Calliodorus, on, 241, 402; to, 282, 451, 461. Callistratus, to, 226, 561 ; on, 563, 580. Calocissus, the poet's slave, to, 439. Calpetianus, on, 303. Calvus' poem on warm and cold springs, 629. Cam on us, on the portrait of, 432, 433. Campanian casks, 33. Canace, epitaph of, 537. Candelabrum, Corinthian, 610. Candidus, to, 98, 107, 142, 152, 562. Candie, a, 609. Candlestick, a wooden one, 610. Canius, a humorous poet of Gades, 60 etnote; on, 139; to, 336. Cantharus, to, 397, 520. Canus, to, 65; a musician, 179. Cap, a, 621. Capene gate, 152. Capitoline war, 222, Capitolinus, on, 497. Cappadocian lettuces, 259. Capsus, 596 bis. Captare, explained, 9 note. Cardua, festivities of, 203. Carmenion, an effeminate person, to, 479. Carpophorus, on his bravery and success in the amphitheatrical arena, 11, 16, 18. Carpus and Norbana, a prayer for, 338. Carpus the bailiff, 279. Carus, to, 404 bis, 420; on the death of, 486. Cascellus, the lawyer, on, 307. Cassianus, to, 162. Castor, to, 348. Castricus, to, 281, 322, 324 ; on the death of the young Eutychus, 292 ; on Oppianus, 305. Caterer, a, 632. Catianus, to, 283, Cato, 27 ; on his leaving the tem- ple of Flora, 23. Catti, the, 86. Catulla, to, 375. Catullus, writing of, 22; to, 292, 578, 629. Catus, a mountain near Bilbilis, 49 et note. Cayster, banks of the, 52. Cecropian city of Pandion, 36. Celer, to, 58, 329. Censorship of Rome, 26. Centumviri, court of the, 278. Cercopithecus, 630. Cestus, 71 ; to, 371 ; the, 630 bis. ChEsremon, to, 525. Chaerestratus, to, a knight in re- duced circumstances, 234. Chaplain, advice to a, 112. Char, the, 599. Charidemus, 46 ; to, 274. 286, 298, 536 ; his freedman, 517 Charinum, on, 277. Charinus, on, 64, 379 ; to, 194, 242, 583; his baths, 321. Charioteer of the " Green" faction, on a, 515. Charisianus, on, 271, 536. Charopinus, to, 247. Chasmgs of metals, 145, 148, 373. Chaste matron, to the, 171. Cheese, from Luna, 591 ; various kinds of, 592 ; from Trebula, 592. Chian figs, 591. Childless old man, to a. 519. Child's rattle, 611. Chimeera, the, 18. Chion, son of the nymph Phillyra 94 note. IlfDEX. 645 Chione, the courtesan, 71, 143; modesty of, 40; to, 145, 171. Chione and Phlogis, on, 527. Chloe, to, 155 ; on, 400, 638 ; to, on squandering her property on Lupercus, 189. Choerilus, to, 59. Chrestilla, buries her husbands, 369. Chrestus, to, 330, 406. Cicero on parchment, 628. Cilician fruit-trees, preservation of, 355. Cilician thief, 294. Cilicians at Rome, 4. Cinna, to, 69, 159, 250, 259, 278, 320, 324, 353, 557 ; on, 135, 358, 575. Cinnamus, to, 269, 334. Ciperus, to, 356. Circus stuffing, 624. Cirinius, to, 357. Cirrha, 63. Citron wood, tablets of, 605 ; table of, 616. Citrons, 592. Civis, the lawyer, 146. Classicus, to, 120, 564; to, in dis- paragement of difficult poetic trifles, 126. Clasp, a, 631. Claudia, to, 379. Claudia Rufina, on, 523. Clearinus, on, 526. Clemency of Domitian, 299. Clemens, to, 494 ; with a present of fruit, 494. Cleonfean lion, 258. Cleopatra, his wife, on, 187. Clients, to his, 576. Cloak, on a, 186; the poet's, a shab- by one, 298 ; a warm one, 620. Cloaks of Canusian wool, 620, 621 ; diff"erent kinds of, 621, 622. Clothes brush of ox-tail, 613. Clytus, on, 380. Coat, a scarlet one, 621. Cobbler, to a, 137, 176 ; to one who had obtained a legacy by fraud, 431. Cobbler and a Dyer, on a, 159. Cochleare, a, 620. Cock, on the fattening of a, 640. Codrus, to, 137. Coff'ers, ivory and wooden, 606. Colchian princess, 18. Collinus, to, 202 ; to, on Caerellia and Gellia, 186. Colossus of Rhodes, 1 note. Colossus, the starry, 2. Combat, unequal, 21. Combs, 608. Comedians, young, 631. Condylus, to, 439. Confectioner, the, 632. Conflux of nations, 4. Congedus, a river near Bilbilis, 49. Connubial felicity, 183. Constellation of Laconian twins, 17. Cook, the, 632. Coracinus, to, 197, 285. Cordova, the birth-place of Seneca and Lucan, 57 ; to, 574. Cordus, to, 170, 235. Corn, 589. Cornelii forum, 132. Cornelius, to, 41. Corset, a, 613. Corybantes, pictures of the, 61. Cosconius, to, 124, 164. Cosmus, the celebrated perfumer, 68, 155 ; to, on an illiterate fel- low pretending to be a cynic, 201. Cotilus, to, 121, 160. Cotta, to, 28, 35, 472, 582 ; a dis- honest person, 492. Couch made of citron wood, 615. Country gentleman, 210. Country-seat of Faustiniis, 156, Coverlids, long-haired ones, 623 ; ornamented, 623. Cranes, 598. Cretan bull, 6. Creticus, to, 344. Criminals, personal appearaTu-e of, when under accusation, 102 note. Crispinus, to, 348 ; on the stolen cloak of, 372. Crispus, to, 453. Criticism misspent, 587. 643 IKDEX. Critics compared to books, 434; Vatican -wine for, 468. Crotus, the piper, 279. Crow, a, 614. Crystal cups, 618. Curaa, baths of, 280. Cumegan plate, 619. Cups, common, 616; of g-old, 616 ; various kinds of, 617, 618. 619. Curiatius, on, 206. Curii, defenders of their country's liberties, 36. Curtii, piety of the, 236. Cymbals, 630. Cynic, derivation of, 201 note. Cyrrha, 279. Dacian boy, 35. Dsedalus, on, 8. Dagger, 609. Dama, the baker, 278. Danae, picture of, 626. Dandies, 115, 160. Dasius, on, 112. Dates, a bunch of, 591. Debauchee, on an abandoned one, 59. Decanter for snow-water, 619. December, the month when the gifts are presented, 229. Decianus, to, 27, 36, 43; the poet's friend, 85, 87. Degis, 221. Delos, temple of, 1. Demetrius, Martial's amanuensis, on the death of, 75. Dento, to, 244, 363. Deprendere, explained, 9 note. Detractor, to a, 252, 289, 587. Diadumenus, to, 162, 245, 275. Diana, the two characters of, 10 e< note. Diaulus, on, 38, 48. Dice-box, 607. Didymus, 144 ; to, 243, 262, 467. Difficult trifles, 126, 127. Digitura concurrere, explained, 20 7wte. Dining-hall, on a small one, 116. Dinaer charts, 471, 522, 523. Dinner-couch, a, 615. Dinner-dress, 621. Dinner-hunter, the, 93, 99. Dinner-hunters, 247. Dinner-table, 616. Diodorus, on, 73 ; to, 459 ; and his wife Philaenis, 413. Dishes inlaid with gold, 617. Distichs, on the writing of, 362. Doctor, to a bad one, 48, 387. Does, 600 ; on a combat of, in the theatre, 193; on their fighting, 213. Domitia, wife of Domitian, 264 et note. Domitian, public shows of, 1 et seq. ; public works of, 2 ; on his two names, 21 ; on his lion sparing the hare, 26, 31, 35, 48 ; his illus- trious titles and conquest of the Catti, 86 ; the poet's petition to, asking the rights of a father of three children, 130 ; his abolition of the sportula, 134 ; on his birth- day, 1 77 ; on the snow which fell on him at the games, 178 ; on his admiration of the poet's works, 189 ; to a fisherman, that he may spare his fish, 190 ; on the au- thor presenting his book to, 220, 228, 349 ; the poet's deification of, 221, 255 ; the poet's flattery and praises of, 230, 351, 353, 354, .356, 359, 360, 373, 376, 391, 395, 396, 434, 438, 442 ; to, on his improvement of public morals, 264, 265 ; on the expected birth of a son, 265 ; the poet covertly asks him for money, 266; ad- dress to, on his winter roses, 297 ; praises of his clemency, 299 ; the poet solicits his indulgence, 301 ; on his assumption of a breastplate, 303 ; the poet soli- cits his return to Rome, 305, 306 ; the Muses invoked on his return from Thrace, 307 ; on his im- provements of the city, 332, 394 ; on the author dedicating his books to, 349 ; on his palace, 366, 368 ; on his noble lion, 376 : on his INDEX. 647 temple of Fortune, and triumphal arch, 381 ; on the games of Stella, in honour of his triumphs, 389 ; on his revival of pugilistic con- tests, 390; to, petitioning for a supply of water, 401 ; on his erection of a temple on the spot where he was born, 402 ; address to, on the Flavian family, 409 ; on a statue of, in the character of Hercules, 427 ; on his exclu- sion of the knights from the stage, 435 ; the poet celebrates his immortal deeds, 442, 443. Domitius, to; 452. Dormouse, 595. Doves, 596. Drinking of names, 61. Drunkenness, excess of, 301. Dry wood, 589. Ducks, 594. Dumb-bells, 610. Dwarf, a, 631. Dwarf mules, 629. Eagle, on the image of one, carrying Jupiter, 249. Earinus, the favourite of Domitian, on, 397, 398, 399 ; on the hair oi, 400 his; conversation of Gany- mede and Jupiter on, 410 Ear-pick, 608. Earthen pitcher, 618. Earthen utensil, 619. Eggs, 593. Eiarinos, poetic use of the word, 398. Elephant, kneeling to Caesar, 12 ; combat with a bull, 1 3. Emerita, the birth-place of Decia- nus, 57. Encolpus, on, 39, 245 ; a fa^ ourite of Aulus Prudens, 245 note. Entellus, to, on his beautiful gar- dens, 383. Envious man, to an, 44 ; on an, 288. Ephesus, temple ot Diana at, 1 note. Epigrammatist, to a bad one, 315. Epigrams, 22 et seq. ; Martial's addresses to the reader, 22, 23, 24 ; good, bad, and indifferent, 33, 341 ; supposititious ones, 633 ef seq. Erotion, epitaph on, 238, 477 ; praises of, 240. Etrusci, the two, 299 note. Etruscus, baths of, 280. Etruscus, epitaph on the father of, 323. Euclides, a pretending knight, 239. Euctus, on, 352. Eulogus, the auctioneer, 266. Eunuch, on a, 474. Euphemus, to, 181. Europa, 627. Europa and the bull, 12. Eurydice, fate of, 15. Eutrepalus the barber, 341. Eutychus, on the death of, 292. Extravagance, evils of, 238. Fabianus, to, 145, 179, 188, 582. Fabius and Chrestilla, on, 369. Fabius leaves Sabienus all his pro- perty, 335. Fabulla, 105 ; to, 58, 181, 267, 390, 584 ; on, 216. Fabullus, on, 136; to, 218, 42s, 515, 554; on a thievish Cilician, 294. Faenius, Telesphorus, tomb of his daughter Antulla, 82, 83. Fair sex, to the, 569. Falernian wine, 602 ; mixing of, 33. Fame, to, 305. Fannius, on, 125. Farmers, on the, 579. Father, with three children. Lis public privileges, 130. Faustinus, to, 36, 82, 147, 152, 181, 205, 238, 240, 265, 287, 309, 3J0, 369, 473 ; to, on a frigid rhetori- cian, 142 ; on the country-house of, 156 ; on inviting him to Trebula, 257 ; on Andragoras, 285. Faustus, to, 528. Faventinus, the usurer, 123. Favourite, the, 630. Favourites, on his, 579. Feathers, 624. 648 INDEX. Fell, Dr., epigram on, 39. Female dancer of Cadiz, 630. Ferulae, 615. Fescennia, to, 68. Festus, who stabbed himself, 64. Ficus, double meaning of, 59, 337. Fidentinus, a plagiary, 62 ; to, 51. Fidentius, to, 38, 43. Fig-pecker, 594. Fisherman, to a, that he may spare Domitian's fish, 290. Five-feet rule, 616. Five leaves, tablets of, 605. Flaccus, to, 55, 200, 377, 409, 512, 539 bis ; 541 bis ; 578 ; to, on Diodorus, 73 ; on his favourite Amazonicus, 196 ; on his love for Labycas, 343 ; on the return of Priscus Terentius, 371 ; residing in Cyprus, 438 ; on presenting his book to him, 499 ; at Baiee, 533. Flaccus, Valerius, to, 63 ; author of the Argonautica, 63 7iote. Flamingo, the, 597. Flavian family, 21 ; on the temple of the, 393, 409. Floccilla, the poet's mother, 238. Flora, games of, 22, 23. Fly-flap, a, 613. Formiffi, on the charms of, 460. Fortune, unequal distribution of, 549. Forums of Rome, 146. Fowls, 593; fattened, 596; Nu- midian, 597. Frankincense, 588 ; on sending a present of, to Regulus, 81. Friend, to a, 126, 355 ; on a, 565. Friends, newly formed, 53; gifts to, 243; mutual, 267 ; intimate, 560. Friendship in literary fame, 357. Frontinus, to, on excusing himself, 476. Fronto, to, 53 ; the poet's father, 238. Fucinus, 19. Fuficulenus, the usurer, 123. Fundi wine, 602. Furmity, 588. Fuscus, to, 53 ; epitaph on, 296 ; his death and burial, 296 note; to, on sending him his epigrams, 317. Gabba, 44. Gabinia, on, 331. Gades, slave-dealer from, 44 ; the birtli-place of Canius, 57. Geetulinus, 5. Gains of the barrister and the hus- bandman, 33. Gains, a river of Spain, 202. Galaesus, a river near Tarentum, 240 note. Galatea, 19. Galbinus, explanation of, 72 note. Galla, to, 99, 102, 154, 155, 194, 205, 312, 331, 411, 508; who had sent Martial no present at the Saturnalia, 263 ; on, 171 485, 495 ; expensive favours of, 395. Galliambic verses, derivation 127 note. Gallic credulity, 220. Gallic frock, 52. Gallic puppy, 629. Gallicus, to, 359, 388. Gallus, to, 79, 110, 115, 142, 172, 184, 639 ; on, 475, 488 ; a priest of Cybele, 141. Gaming-table, 607. Gammon of bacon, 595. Ganymede and the eagle, 27. Ganymede and Jupiter, 249 ; con- versation of, on the favourites of Domitian, 410. Gardens of Julius Martialis, on the, 208. Gargilianus, to, 143, 166, 204, 334, 355. Gargilius, to, 176. Garricus, to, 417, 543. Gaui, on a corpulent one, 387. Gaurus, to, 128, 262, 360, 419. Gazelle, the, 601. Gellia, on, 40, 391 ; to, 155, 229, 237, 302. Gellius, on, 416, 434. 171, or of, I INDEX. 649 Gemellius and Maronilla, on, 28. Genius, few wish to yield the palm of, 357. German, to a, 539. Germ aniens, the title which Do- mitian liked, 332 ; to, 638. German mask, 626. Geryon, the Iberian shepherd, 255. Getulicus, writing of, 22. Girl, to a crier selling a, 291. Gladiators, Prisons and Varus, both rewarded, 14, 20. Glaphyrus, a musician, 179. Glass, a nimbus of, 619. Glass cups, 619. Glaucius, epitaph on, 273 his ; to, 640. Glycera, 280. Glyptus, to, 109. Goat, sacrifice of a, 141. Goose, the, 597. Goose's liver, 595. Gratius, works of, 194. Great mind, strength of a, 43. Greyhound, the, 629. Gridiron and spit, 632. Gryllus, baths of, 56. Gudgeons, 599. Guests, the poet to his, 253 ; pre- sents made to, at feasts, 604. Haemus, a mountain of Thrace, 4. Hair, dyeing of, 148; cutting of, 582 ; cloak of, 622. Hair-pin, golden, 608. Ham, 595. Hanging gardens of Babylon, 1 7iote. Happiness, road to, 231. Happy marriage, on a, 183. Hare, to a, 51 ; to one spared bv a lion of Caesar's, 26, 31, 35, 48, 56. Hare-hunting, on the dangers of, 550. Hares, 600. Harpasta, the, 610. Hat, a broad-brimmed one, 608. Hatchet, 609. Hawk, a, 632. Hay, 624. Health, blessings of, 293. Heath-cocks, 596. Hedylus, to, 47, 201 ; on, 422. Heliades, daughters of the sun, 206 note. Heras, the doctor, 297. Hercules, on a bull bearing him to the skies, 12 bis ; praises bestow- ed on, 18 ; labours of, 225 ; on a statue of, 415, 416 ; to, repre- senting the statue of Domitian, 427 bis; labours of, 442, 443; Corinthian, 626 ; of terra-cotta, 627. Hermaphrodite, a marble one, 626. Hermes, an eminent gladiator, on, 23 i. Hermogenes, on, 557. Hero and Leander, 17. H erodes, on, 440. Hesione, 18. Hesperides, grove of the, 14. Hexameters, epigrams written in, 291. Hexaphorus, a large sort of palan- quin, 125. Hierus and Asillus, on, 444. Himself, on, 450. Hind and dogs, 21. Hippocrates, on, 440. Hippodamus, to, 191. Hoarse poet, on a, 280. Homer's " Battle of the Frogs and Mice," 627 ; a parchment copy of, 627. Homme Blase, to, 582. Honeyed wine, 602. Hood, a Gallic one, 621 ; Libur- nian, 622. Hoop, a, 625 bis. Horatius, on, 178. Hormus, to, 95. Horn-lantern, 612. Horsewhip, a, 611. Host, to a, 153, 365. Hot water, on being required to drink, when sick, 300. Hoimd, epitaph on a, 530. Hunchback, terra-cotta figure of a, 627. Hunting-knife, 608. Hunting-spears, 608. 650 II^^DEX. Hustand, on a cruel one, 125. Husbandman, on a, 5U6 ; gains of the, 33. Hyacinthus, picture of, 626. Hybla, 109. Hydra of Grecian Lerna, 255. Hylas, the blear-eyed debtor, 353. Hyllus, on, 111, 404; to, 116, 180. Hymeneal songs, 41. Hyrcanian mountains, 1 3. lanthis, to the fountain of, 327. Ida, 61. Ideal of the poet's mistress, 145. Ides of May, 133. Idumaea, 86. Images in verse and in painting, 433. Importunate friends, on, 571. Impudent man, on an, 635. Informers, on Csesar's banishment of, 5, 6. Iniquity, prosperity of, 187. Innkeeper at Ravenna, on an, 156. Instantius Rufus, to, 336, 386. Irus, the pauper, 296. Isis, Memphitic temple of, 94. Issa, the little pet dog, 80. Ivory cage, 614. Ivory coffers, 606. Ivory tablets, 605. Ivory tali, or dice, 606. Ivory tusks, 616. Janiculan Hill, 208. Janssen, Sir Theodore, Scott's lines to, 43. Janus, to, 350, 459 ; to, on Do- mitian's return to Rome, 353. Jason, son of iEsen, 94 note. Jealous husband, to a, 170. Jealous wife, 585. Jennet, a, 629. Jew, on a, 538. Jewelled cups, 618. John Dory, 600. Jugglers, 412. Julia, on the statue of, 8 ; daughter of Titus, 264, 268. Julian temple, 278. Julius, to, 32, 441; the poet's friend, 133. Julius Cerealis, invitation to, 252. Julius Martialis, to, 231, 263, 469, 560 ; on the gardens of, 208 ; to the library of, 311. Juno, on a statue of, 492. Jupiter Capitolinus, to, 332. Justina, 61. Justinus, to, 528. Juvatus, to, 555. Juvenal, to, 344, 552. Kalends, on the, 457. Kid, the, 593. Kisses of his favourite, 504. Kissing, reasons against, 101 ; niiis- ance of, 346, 539. Knight by birth, but deficient in fortune, to a, 236, 334. Knights, dress of, at the theatre, 233. Laberius, to, 268. Labican earth, 68. Labicas, love for, 343. Labienus, to, 117, .552; on, 335, 560 ; to, on his partial baldness, 246. Labullus, to, 511,561. Laconian twins, explained, 17 note^ 42. Ladas, a swift runner, 127. Ladon, on, 490. Lady, to an ill-formed one, 132. Laecania, on, 244; to, 321. Lffilia, to, 481, 555. Leelius, to, 71. Laetorius, an avaricious friend, 556. Leevia, 61. Leevina, on, 57. Lsevinus, to, who had seated him- self among the knights, 266. Lais, to, 638. Lalage, to, 119. Laletanian wine, 37 ; for the Sa- turnalia, 328. Lamp with several burners, 610. Lampreys, 598. Lantern made of horn, 612 ; of a bladder, 612. Lap-dog, on a, 66 ; picture of a, 79, 80. IN D EX. G51 Laronia, 101, Latinus, the buffoon, 26 ; the panto- mimic actor, 122 ; epitaph on, 406. Lattara, on, 521. Laureohis, on, 7; explanatory no- tices of, 7 note. Laurus, to, 117; a player at ball, 490. Lausus, to, 341 ; on his works, 343. Law, delays and anxieties of, 334. Lawyer, to a, 238 ; on a, 247. Lazy sailors, on, 163. Leander, on the exhibition of the story of, 17 ; of marble, 627. Leather cap, a, 611. Leathern cloak, 621. Leda, the courtesan, 168 ; on, 531. Leeks, 590 bis. Legacy obtained by fraud, 431. Legacy hunting, 288, 529, 519. Leitus, the keeper of the Equestrian seats, 224 note. Lentils, 589. Lentinus, to, 552. Lesbia, to, 40, 111,271, 466, 54 ; to, with a lock of hair from Ger- many, 256 ; on, 528. Letter-paper, 606. Lettuce, 589. Liber, to his friftnd, 388 ; a pugil- ist, 431. Licentious character, on a, 72. Licinianus, to, 48, 57. Licinius Sura, to, on his recovery from sickness, 326. Life, verge of, 32 ; consists not in living, but in enjoying health, 293 ; the enjoyment of, 370 ; pro- longation of, 388. Ligeia, to, 492 ; on, 548. Ligula, a silver one, 620. Ligutrinus, to, 149, 151, 154, Ligurra, to, 573. Linus, on, 63; to, 103, 114, 210, 346, 511 ; a tutor, 566. Lion, on a woman fighting with a, 6 bis ; on one that hurt his keep- er, 8; tigress matched with a, 13; of Caesar's, that spared a hare, 26, 31, 35, 48, 56 ; on one that destroyed two boys, 123 ; of Domitian, 376. Lion and a ram, on a, 430. Lions, sports of the, 31, Literary fame, friendship in, 357. Livy in a single volume, 628. Lizard slayer, Corinthian, 626. Love and blindness, 373, Lucan, 629 ; on the anniversary of the birth-day of, 314 ter. Lucanian bear, 8. Lucanus, to, on a corpulent Gaul, 387. Lucanus and Tullus, brothers, to, 42 ; on, 419. Lucensis, the scholar, 24. Lucius, the poet, to, 202 ; a native of Spain, 202 note. Lucius Julius, to, 78. Lucrine lake, 57, 140. Lupercus, to, 166, 265, 284, 437 ; on, 341, 518 ; to, on the purchase of the poet's book, 89 ; on Chloe's property being squandered on, 189. Lupus, baths of, 56 ; deeply in debt, 308 ; to, 250, 297, 393, 466, 507 : a knavish flatterer, 524. Lutiscus Brutianus, the poet, on, 188. Lycas, 61. Lycoris, to, 62, 75, 280; on, 147, 207, 310. Lyde, 61. Lydia, to, 441 ; on, 509. Lygdus, 278 ; to, 531, 578. Lygdus and Laetoria, on the mar- riage of, 282. Lyre, a, 625 bis ; qiiiil for the, 625. Lyris, on, 122. Macer, to, 351 ; on, 454 ; to, on his setting out for Dalmatia, 486. Maori, probity of the, 236. Macrinus, to, 639. Mffinalian boar, 18. Meevius, on, 486 ; to, 520. Magpie, a, 614. Magulla, to, 583. Malisianus, to, 180. Mamercus, to, 128. 652 IlfDEX. Mamertine wine, 603. Matnurianus, on, 71. Mamurra, on, 423 ; to, 447. Mancinus, on the inhospitality of, 46 ; to, 206. Manius, to, 456. Manneia and her lap-dog, 66 Manneius, on, 527. Mantua, the birth-place of Virgil, 57. Manumission, 75. Maple-wood table, 616. Marathon, 18. Marcella, his wife, 554 ; on her gift to Martial, 558. Marcellinus, to, ] 33, 146 ; in Dacia, to, 272. March, the period of the women's Saturnalia, 263. Marcianus, to, 298. Marcus, to, 267. Marcus Antonius, on, 442. Marcus Antonius Primus, 484. Marianus, to, 101, 252 ; deceived by a flatterer, 288. Marinus, to, on his baldness, 489, Marius, on, 124, 455 ; to, intrusted with Martial's grounds, 493. Mark Antony, on, 256. Mark Antony and Pothinus, on, 621. Maro, to, 215, 529 ; on, 583. Maronilla, on Gemellus seeking the hand of, 28. Marriages, multiplied, 265. Marseilles, wine of, 603. Marsus, the poet, 22, 124; writing of, 22. Marsyas, 117. Martens, 597. Martial, his addresses to the reader, 22, 23 ; he shows where his books may be purchased, 24; his ad- dress to his book, 24.; his domes- tic habits and employments, 633, 634. MaruUa, on, 475. Marullus, to, 259. Massic cellar, 37. Massic wine, 153. Master of a noisy school, to the, 429. Master and slave, on a, 140. Masthlion, 226. Maternus, on, 122 ; to, on the au- thor's setting out for Bilbilis, 464. Matho, to, 215, 275, 469, 529 ; ex- travagance of, 308 ; on, 344 ; on sending him a sportula, 369. Matrinia, to, 144. Mattiac balls, 608. Mattress-stuffings of Leuconium, 624. Matron, modest, to the, 163. Mattus, to, 636. Maurici, equity of the, 236. Maurullinus, to, 212. Mausolus, temple of, 1 note. Maximina, to, 104. Maximus, to, 27, 60, 96, 112, 138, 338 ; on Syriscus, 257 ; on the death of Carus, 486. Maximus Ctesonius, on the bust of, 325 bis. Medicine chests, 614. Melior, 120; to, on his tribute to the memory of Bleesus, 367. Memphis, city of, 1. Memor, on a portrait of, 505. Menander's " Thais," 628. Menogenes, on, 581. Menophilus Verpa, on, 341. Mercury, to, 338. Metellus, 86. Milichus, to, 117. Milo, on, 635; to, 636. Minerva in silver, 627. Miracula noticed, 1 note. Mistress, the poet's ideal of his, 145 ; on the choice of a, 409. Mistyllus, 50. Mithridates, 259. Molorchus, notions of, 208 note. Molossian hounds, 21. Morning Star, to the, 358. Mountain-goat, the, 601. Mucins, on, 458. Muffler, a, 622. Mullets, live ones, 598. Mulvian bridge, 137 note. Munatius Gallus, to, 462. Munna, to, 435 ; residing at Mar- seilles, 464 : on, 477. INDEX. 653 Murices, the purple fish, 599. Muse, to his, 350, 454, 549. Muses, to the, 222. Mushrooms, 594. Myrinus and Triumphus, the two gladiators, 14. Myrobalanum, 611. Myrrhine cups, 619. Myrtale, to Paulus on, 221. Naevia, Rufus's love for, 60; on, 91 ; to, 137. Neevolus, to, 73, 165, 175, 216 ; on, 109. Nanneius, on, 227. Nar, the river, 345. Narbo, the native town of Vatienus, 386. Narnia, to the town of, 345. Nasica, to, 125. Nasidienus, to, 330. Nata, on, 531. Nations, conflux of, 4. Nemea, vale of, 6 ; woods of, 18. Nepos, to, on the death of his daughter, 272. Nereids, the, 17. Nereus, 19. Nero, ponds of, 19. Nerva, on, 384 ; to, 405 ; on the abbreviation of his books, 547; eulogy on, 547. Nervfe, inoflfensiveness of the, 236. Nestor, to, 143, 514. Niggardliness, 340. Niggardly host, to a, 141. Night lamp, 609. Nightingale, a, 614. Nigrina, to, 213 ; on the conjugal affection of, 408. Ninus, the gigantic, 226. Noble matron, epitaph on a, 478. Nomentan estate, 103. Nomentan farm, 281. Nomentan fields, wine of the, 77. Norbanus, to, 435. Noric hunting spears, 16. Novius, on, 67. Numa, 496. Nuts, 607. Nymph of a fountain, to the, 283. Occupations, horary, of the Roman citizens, 181, 383, 482. Oceanus, a keeper of the equestrian seats, 233, 236. Oil-flask, a common horn one, 611; of rhinoceros's horn, 611. Old man and eunuch, 534, Old woman, deformed, 339. Olives, jar of, 592. Olus, to, 119, 153, 193; a slanderer, 307 ; on, 475. Olympus, bankruptcy in, 394. One-eyed thief, on a, 378. Onyx, the, 280. Opimius, jar of, 37 ; vintage in the time of, 37 note. Oppianus, to, in praise of the baths of Etruscus, 280; to, 288; on, 305. Orpheus, on, 14, 15, 625. Otacilius, the poor, 487. Otho, the suicide, 275. Ounce, the, 600. Ovidius Quintus, to, 77 Ovid's Metamorphoses on parch- ment, 628. Oysters, 599. Pectus, to, 274. Paetus and Arria, on, 30. Paetus, to, on his mules, 533. Paganica, a, 610. Painter, pet dog and the, 79. Palace of Cyrus, 1 note. Palsemon, a conceited grammarian, 127. Palsestrae, wrestling grounds, 203 note. Palatine Library, keeper of the. 222. Palatium, 366. Pamphilus, to, 211. Panacian vessel, 617. Panaretus, a drunkard, on, 301. Pandion, 36. Pannice, to, 417, Panniculus, the pantomimic actor, 122. Panni'cus, to, 102, 292, 578 ; the wrestler, 278. 654 INDEX. Pannonian campaign of Domitian, 356. Panteenis, 336. Pantagathus, epitaph on, 285. Papilus, to, 200, 277 ; on, 346 ; a niggardly and ostentatious man, 340. Papiriamis, to, on Gellia, 391 Parasite friend, on a, 399. Parasol, 608. Parchment, tablets of, 605. Paris, the actor, epitaph on, 505. Parrhasian car explained, 272 note. Parrhasian palace of Domitian, 331, 366, 368. Parrot, a, 613. Pars, explained as a faction of the people, 14. Parsimony of Tucca, 33. Parthenius, chamberlain of Do- mitian, 198; a request to, 222; to a toga given by, 360. Parthenopasus, one of the seven chiefs against Thebes, 296 ; to, 336. Partridges, 596. Pasiphae, on the spectacle of, 6. Passer, the river, 280. Pastor, to, 403. Patavium, city of, founded by An- tenor, 63 note. Pater-familias, a true one, 66. Paternus, to, 568. Patrobus, 101. Patron, advantages of having one, 131 ; a willing one, 347 ; an Attic one, 217. Paula, to, 62, 395, 503 ; on, 450. Pauli, first of the, 236. Paulinus. the dinner-himter, 93, 99 ; to, on board ship, 167. Paulus, on, 97 ; to, 185, 232, 337, 577 ; on Myrtale, 221 ; on re- ceiving a cup from, 364 ; one of the consuls, 451. Peacock, the, 597. Pedo, the poet, 22, 124 ; writing of, 22. Pcliprnan wine, 603. Peligni, poet of ihe, 104. Pelignian presses, 37. Pelignians, boast of Ovid, 57. . Pen-case, 607. Pepper, 588. Perfumes, 604. Permessis, 63. Petaurum, a sort of machine, 127. Pet dog and the painter, 79 Peterus, roses of, 203. Pence, island of, 306 Phfedrus, fables of, 139 note. Phaeton, on a figure of, 199. Phasis, on, 224. Pheasants, 597. Phidias' Jupiter Olympius, 1 note. Philaenis, on, 101, 209, 335, 426, 554; epitaph on, 407 ; to, 336, 457. Phileros, to, 102, 468. Philip pus, in good health, borne on a litter, 299. Philistion, 105. Philo, on, 245. Philoctetes, notice of, 126 note. Philomelus, a musician, 179 note; 144. Philomenus, to, 135. Philomusus, to, 410, 528 ; a buf- foon, 339. Philostratus, on, 534. Philus, on, 637. Phoebus, to, 102, 165, 171, 270, 286, 427, 444, 564. Phrixus, golden fleece of, 361. Phryx, the drunkard, 297. Phyllis, on, 488, 575: to, 513, 521. Physician, turned undertaker, 48 ; a pilfering one, 440. Physiognomy, description of, 569. Picenian jar, 46. Picenian olives, 218 ; for the Sa- turnalia, 329. Picens, on, 378 ; to, 380. Picentine loaves, 594. Picentinus, to, 434. Pig, 613 ; sucking, 593. Pigs' chitterlings, 595. Pike, 600. Pillow, a, 622. INDEX. 655 Pine cones, 591. Pipes, 612. Pisa, the architect, 331. Pisos, halls of the, 195. Pitch-flavoured wine, 602. Plagiarist, to a, 59, 497. Plane-tree at Cordova, planted I y Julius Caesar, on, 425. Platea, town of, 203. Player, punishment of a, 635. Pliny the Younger, the poet's book sent to, 455. Plotia, an old woman, epitaph on, 480. Plums, a jar of, 591. Poet, dread of the, 149, 151, 154; to one reciting badly, 196. Poet and his Muse, 350. Poetic licence, 398. Poetic trifles, useless labour of, 126, 127 notes. Polla, to, 148, 481, 537; the wife of Lucan, to, 479. Pollentine wool, 624. Pollio, to, 549. PoUicharmus, to, 430, 569 ; who affected liberality, 366. Polyphemus, to, 322. Polytimus, to, 582. Pomatum, 608. Pomegranates, 593 bis. Pompeius Auctus, 328, 329. Pompey and his sons, on, 258. Pompollus, writings of, 287. Pomponius, to, 283, PompuUa, 207. Pontia, to, 102, 295 ; skilled in poisoning, 295 note. Ponticus, to, 101, 125, 159, 217, 414, 634; a foolish writer, 253; to, on Hermogenes, 557. Pontilianus, to, 256, 304, 562. Porcelain, 217, 619. Porcia, on, 45. Porphyrion, the, 598. Porsena and Mucins Scsevola, on, 34. Posthumianus, to, 385. Posthumous works, 36. Postumus, to, 91, 93, 97, 119, 122, 195, 248,251, 269; on, 98; an avaricious man, 189. Pothinus, on, 162, 256. Potitus, to, 482. Praetor, to, 210. Praises, indiscriminate, 580 Prawns, 599. Present, on a, 104. Presents for the Saturnalia, 329 ; made to guests at feasts, 604. Pretender, on a, 115. Priapus, to, 269, 368 ; upon him- self, 283 ; of Helarus, 294 ; one made of pastry, 613. Prisons, the usurer, 81, 105 ; to, 326 ; 354, 446, 583 ; on the death of Saloninus, 269 ; on the feast of, 433 ; the friend of Martial, ad- dress to, 544, 545, 546; to, on the dangers of hare-hunting 550. Prisons and Paula, 395. Prisons Terentius, on his return from the coast of Sicily, 371 ; to Saturn, on behalf of, 573. Prisons and Verus, the gladiators, 20. Probus, M. Valerius, the gramma- rian, 131. Procillus, to, 37, 82. Proclaiming obligations, 248. Procrastination, folly of, 251. Proculeia, to, 467. ProcuUina, to, 271. Proculus, Martial's present of his book to, 60. Profession, choice of a, 117 Prolixity of discourse, 276, 277. Prometheus, on the Scythian rock, 7. Propertius, a copy of, 628. Providence, favourite of, 29. Public shows of Domitian 1 et seq. Public works of Domitian, 2. Publius, 80, 496. Pudens, to, 183, 190. Pueri, de pretio, 55. Pugilistic contests, on the reviva of, 390. Pulse, 588. 656 INDEX. Pylades and Orestes, 267. Pyramids of Egypt, 1 note. Quinces, 591. Quinctianiis, to, 51. Quintianus, to, 229. Quintilian, to, 129. Quintals, on, 134, 136; to, 212, 259, 353 ; explanatory note re- specting, 136 ; to, on his extra- vagances, 160. Quintus Ovidius, to 420 bis, 441, 468 ; on the bust of Maximus Caesonius, 325 his. Quintus Pollius Valerianus, 82. Quirinalis, on, 66. Quoit, a, 625. Rabbits, 595. Rabirius, the architect of Domitian, to, 331, 482. Radishes, 589. Raisin wine. 601. Raisins, 590. Ravenna, on, 156 ; on an innkeeper at, 156. Reader, Martial's addresses to the, 22, 23, 81, 90, 131, 228, 445, 544, 587, 588, 604, 605 ; show- ing where the author's books may be purchased, 24 ; address of the Book to the, 445 ; to one diffi- cult to be pleased, 468, 477 ; the poet's address to his, 221, 500, 506, 508. Recitation, author made by, 43. Reciter of bought verses, 97 ; an importunate one, 149. Reed-pens, bundles of, 609. Reed-pipe, 612. Reguli, eloquence of the, 236. Regulus the lawyer, 123 ; the ora- tor, 289. Regulus, to, 130, 225, 311, 638; on, 29, 65 ; to, on sending him a book, and a present of frankin- cense, 81 ; to, on Apollodorus, 232; on the son of, 277; on sending him bought presents, 319. Relics, 312. Residences, plurality of, 338. Restitutus, the eloquent advocate on the birth-day of, 490. Rhetorician, on a, 142, 249. Rhine, to the, 449. Rhinoceros, on a, 8, 15. Rhinoceros's noses, 25. Rhodope,a mountain of Thrace.4, 14. Rhytium, a narrow vessel, 102. Rich friends, to his, 146. Rich wife, 354. Riches, misuse of, 211 ; given to none but the rich, 262. Ridicule, Roman method of exhibit- ing, 25, 26. Rigae, theatres of, 203 Ring-case, 620. Rings, 620. Rixamae, dames of, 203. Robbers, game of, 607. Robes, changing of, 261. Rome, wonderful improvements in, effected by Domitian, 3 ; on the concourse of strangers to, 4 ; in- formers banished from, 5 ; on the restoration of, after being par- tially destroyed by fire, 223; cries of, 429, 570 ; address to, 484, 548 ; on the Saturnalia of, 503. Roscian law, 233 note. Roses, of winter, from the Nile, 297; to a chaplet of, 344; on a" crown of, sent lo Caesius Sabi- nus, 425 ; a crown of, 604. Rufinus, to, 78, 92, 100, 110, 144, 168, 174, 176 his, 258, 298, 437, 585; on his love for Naevia, 60; on Sertorius, 126; on a happy marriage, 1 83 ; to, with two books of Epigrams, 216 ; on a pretend- ed lawyer, 247 ; address on Pa- naretus, 301 ; epitaph on, 567. Rufus Camonius, on the death of, 300. Rug, a square one, 623. Rusticus, to, 359. Rusones, courtesy of the, 236. Rustic villa, described, 156. Sabaeans at Rome, 4. Sabella, 105. llfDEX. 657 Sabellus, to, 176, 342, 401, 562, 563; on, 198. Sabidius, to, 39 ; on, 138. Sabinus, the nymph of, 423 j ad- dress to, 507. Sacrifices, 525. Saddle, a, 615. Safronius Rufus, to, 212. Saguntine cups, 618. Salanus, 288. Saleianus, to, 118. Sallust, 628. Sale, a river near Bilbilis, 49. Saloninus, on the death of, 269. Santra, the cook, 278 ; on, 31 3. Sarmatian war, 381. Sarmatians at Rome, 4. Satire, on, 639. Saturn, to, on Zoilus, 143 ; on be- half of Priscus Terentius, 573. Saturnalia, 263 ; presents for the, 229, 329 ; on the, 503. Saturninus, to, 182; biographical notices of, 182 note. Sauce, superior and inferior, 601. Saufeia, to, 165. Saufeius, 122. Sausage, a, 592, 613. Scsevinus, to, 165. Scaevola, on, 34 ; to, 76, 637 ; on the spectacle of his burning his hand, 365. Scazons, to his, 316. Scipio, 86. Schoolmaster, to a, 478. Scorpus, the charioteer, on his death, 472 ; epitaph on, 474. Sculptured fish, on, 145. Sculptured lizard, on a, 148. Scythe, 609. Sea-fight, on the exhibition of a, 16, 19. Sea-hedgehog, 599. Secundilla, 118. Secundus, Martial's bookseller, 24; eloquent and learned, 216. Selius, the Atheist, on, 187. Selius Paulinus, the dinner-hunter, 93, 99. Sempronia, to, 567. Sempronius Tucca, to, 324. 2 u Seneca, house of, 195. Senia, on, 557. Servants, the poet to his, 254. Service berries, 591. Septician silver, 218. Septicianus, to, 543. Sertorius, on, 126, 168 ; the gour- mand, 308. Serverus, to, on drinking new wine, 340. Setia, wine of, 300. Setine wine, 602. Severus, to, 261, 266, 327, 525; on the poet's book, 88 ; on the poet Stella, 225 ; on Charinus, 379 ; on his excellent baths, 321. Sextilianus, to, 29, 37, 459 ; on, 285. Sextillus, to, 99. Sextus, to, 86, 93, 114, 146, 211, 222, 342, 356, 476 ; on, 108 ; a deformed person, 128 ; to, on Calliodorus, 241 ; a writer affect- ing obscurity, 456. Sheep's head, 631. Shell, a, 631. Shield, a small one, 631. Short-hand writer, 630. Sicilian honeycombs, 601. Sicambrians at Rome, 4. Sickness, on drinking hot water during, 300. Sidonian maiden, 320, Signine wine, 603. Sila, against, 510. Silai, the, 203. Silius, 289. Silius Italicus, to, 183 ; on, 333,521, bis ; on the consulship of his son, 382 ; on the death of his son, 436. Sinuessa, a town of Campania, 280. Sirens, the, 162. Siriscus, on, 257. Slanderer, on a, 116, 315. Slanderous poet, on a, 448. Slave, to his, 505. Slavery, marks of, 100 note. Slaves, 100, 119, 125, 140. Sleep, invocation to, 61. 658 INDEX. Snow, 619 bis; on the, which fell on Domitian at the games, 178. Snow-bag, a, 618. Snow-strainer, a, 617. Socks, Cilician, 622. Socrates, on a portrait of, 497. Sola, lake of, 188 note. Sophronius, to, 542. Sosibianus, to, 65, 192, 534. ' Sotades, metres of, 226 note; on, 272. Sow, 10; sow's teats, 593. Sparsus, to, 670. Sparulus, an unknown kind of fish, 159 note. Spatale, 112 note. Spectacle in the Arena, 76. Spendophorus, a favourite of Do- mitian's, 421. Spoletine wine, 603. Sponge, a, 622. Sportula, a present from the richer class to the poorer, 56 ; price of the, 56 ; on the abolition of the, by Domitian, 134 ; notice of the, 137 note. Stag, the, 600. Stella, a poet of Petavium, 27, 225, 226; to, 47, 251, 321, 437; on the games of, in honour of the triumphs of Domitian, 389. Stella and lanthis, on, 270. Stolen cloak of Crispinus, 372. Strangers, on the concourse of, to Rome, 4. Strigils, 611. Sturgeon, 600. Style-cases, 607. Suburra of Rome, 291. Suicide, 125, 140, 275. Sulpicia, praise of, 463. Supper of perfume, 136 ; walking ones, 327. Suppers, hunting for, 93, 94, 283, 410. Sura, 289. Surventine cups, 617 ; wine, 602. Swallow, on a, 256. Swans, 598 ; of Leda, 52. Swimming exhibition, 17. Sword and belt, 609. Synthesis, a, 622. Symmachus, to, 224. Syrian figs for the Saturnalia, 329. Table cover, a, 622. Table utensils and attire, 378, 379. Tables, different kinds of, 61 6. Tablets of various kinds, citron wood, ivory, &c., 605, 606. Taper, a, 610. Taratalla, 50. Tarentine wine, 604. Tar entum, pastures of, 361. Tarentus, a place in the Campus Martius, 60, 177 note. Tarpeian palace, 332. Tartessian Guadalquivir, 361. Tarragonese wine, 603. Taygetus, quarries of, 280. TelesiUa, on, 265 ; to, 539. Telesina, on, 111. Telesinus, to, 555. Telesphorus, to, 512, 525. Telethusa, on, 294. Temple, on the erection of one, when Domitian was born, 402. Temple of Fortune, of Domitian, 381. Terentianus, governor of Syene, 67. Testius Caballus, 44. Tesserae, 606. Thais, to, 182, 201, 217 ; on, 302 ; the mistress of Quintus, 135, 136. Thais and Lsecania, on, 244. Thalia, to, on the poet Lustiscus Brutianus, 188. Theatre. See Amphitheatre. Themes, fit ones for epigrams, 518. Thelesinus, to, 148. Theodorus, to, 258 ; a bad poet, 538. Theophila, on a portrait of, 336. Theopompus, to, on his becoming a cook, 480. Thermae, the, 3. Thestylus, the poet Victor's boy, 318. Thetis, 19. Thrasea, 27. Three children, the poet's petition INDEX. 659 for the rights of a father of, 130 ; to his wife respecting, 130 ; pri- yileges attached, 130 note. Three leaves, tablets of, 605. Thrushes, a crown of, 594. Thyestes, 151, Thymele, the female dancer, 26. Tibullus, 628. Tibur, the, 205, 206. Tigillinus, Sophonius,"139. Tigress matched with a lion, 13. Timavus, the river, 188 note; a river of the north of Italy, 361. Titius, on, 522. Titullus, to, 370. Titus, to, 33 ; on Ceecilianus, 332. Tivoli, 206 ; towers of, 29 ; grove at, 317 ; hill of, 361. Toga, to a, given him by Parthe- nius, 360 ; on one given to the poet by Parthenius, 418 ; on a, 620 bis. Tongilianus, to, 154; on, 583. Tongilion, to, 170. Tongilius, to, 104. Tooth-pick, a, 607. Tooth-powder, 611. Toranius, to, 392. Torquatus, the rich, 487. Tractatrix, explanation of, 169 note. Tragedies, Bassus, a writer of, 249. Trajan, the emperor, on the arrival of, 449 ; in praise of, 463, 483 ; invocation to the gods in favour of, 501 ; flattery and praises of, 502, 548 bis ; on his munifi- cence to the temple of Jupiter, 551. Trebonus, to, 639. Trebula, town of, 257. Trifoline wine, 602. Triton, 19. Triumphal arch of Domitian, 381. Triumphus, the gladiator, 14. Trivian goddess, 1. Tropa, game of, 183 note. Truffles, 594 ; eating of, 34. Tucca, to, 291, 339, 453, 530, 563, 584 ; on his parsimony, 33 ; on the wooden bath of, 432! Tuccius, to, 137. Tucker, a, 623. Tullus and Lucanus, to, 42. Turanius, to, 259. Turbots, 598. Turgidius, to, 638. Turnips, 590. Turnus, on, 505. Turtle-doves, 594. Tuscan soothsayer, to a, 142. Tutela, town of, 203. Two brothers, on, 171. Tyrian wool, 624. Umber, to, 329 ; on, 580. Unicus, to, 564. Urbicus, to, 328 ; epitaph on, 347. Vacerra, to, 384, 529 ; on, 532 ; his pretended wealth derided,^ 558. Vadavera, a mountain near Bilbilis, 49 et note. Valerius Flaccus, to, 42^. Vanquished, method of proclaiming the, in the arena, 20 et note. Varro, to, with a present of the au- thor's works, 237. Varus, to, 358 ; the centurion, on the death of, in Egypt, 458 ; sup- per of, 634. Vases, antique ones, 616 ; Arretine, 617 ; of earthenware, 252. Vatican casks, 33. Vatican wine for critics, 468. Vatinian cup, 617. Veientan grape, 112. Veientan wine, 76, 153. Velius, on the bow of, 408. Velox, to, 81. Venafran oil, 601. Venuleius, on two books of Epi- grams for, 216. Verona, the birth-place of Catullus, 57. Verse, to his, on a licentious cha- racter, 72. Verses, roughness and obscurity of, 537. Verus and Prisons, the gladiators, 20. Vestinus, to, 212. 660 INDEX. Vesuvius, on, 197. Veteran soldier, on a, 172. Vetustilla, to, 173. Via Tecta, 133. Vibius Maximus, to, 543. Vice, panderers to, 284. Vices, of a complicated character, 140 ; not persons, attacked by the poet, 462. Victor, to, 533. Victor, Voconius, the poet, 318. Victory, a golden statue of, 625. Vindex, his possession of the statue ■ of Hercules, 415, 416. Vinegar, 603. Vintage of Italy, b. c. 121, cele- brated for its abundance, 37 et note. Vintner, to a, 55. Viper, on a, 138 ; enclosed in am- ber^ 205. Virgil, on the birth-day of, 576 ; his deference to Horace and Varius, 357 ; praises of, 377 ; on parch- ment, 628 ; his " Gnat," 628. Virgin water, 231, 320. Vitellian tablets, 88, 606 his. Voberca, a town near Bilbilis, 49. Votienus, the poet of Narbo, 386. Vulcan, to, on the restoration of the city after being partially destroy- ed by fire, 223. Wallet, a, 615. Water, to Domitian on his peti- tioning for a supply of, 401. Water.-jug for the table, 618. Wealth, Afer's boast of, 193. Wheaten-flour, 589. Whips, 614. Widowed step-mothers, 184. Wife, to his, 519, 542, 554; on ob- taining the rights of a father with three children, 130 ; on her gift to Martial, 558. Wild ass, the, 601. Wild boar, to a, 317; invitation to feast upon a, 359 ; on a, 600. Wine-cup, on one received from Instantius Rufus, 373 ; from Paulus, 394. Wine-cups, 618. Wines, mixing of, 33 ; different kinds of, 602, 603, 604. Winter roses, from the Nile, 297. Wit about town, to a, 562. Witwals, 597. Woman, fighting with a lion, 6 his; of unpleasing countenance, 635. Woman's girdle, 623. Wonders of the ancient world, 1 note. Woodcocks, 598. Wooden coffers, 606. Wood-pigeons, 596. Woollen cloak, 621, 622. Woollen shirts, Patavian, 622. Woollen slippers, 612. Wools, amethyst-coloured, 623 ; white, Tyrian, and Pollentine, 624. Wrestler, the, 630. Writing tablets, 605. Writings, on his, 81, 501. Young, to the, on the pursuit of learning and virtue, 636. Youth, on a, killed by the fall of a piece of ice, 185. 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