!»^ o ♦..«>« ^0 ^ *'^ .^^/^k^- c.o\ci^.% 6 0' y.-^^'\ .^'^^:r^♦> .<«**\-^!•• Mmt riEW OF CONSTANTINOPLE (Original Sketch by the Emperor) The All Highest of the room; large patches of plaster had fallen from the ceiling and the floor yielded in places. Certainly I am accustomed to the rude life of the camps. How many times in my Berlin palace has it happened that I have slept fully dressed in my bed. I am not effeminate, but truly I recoil in the face of the horror of these lodgings. The Sultan asked me: ^Well, what do you think of it? Do I spoil you?" "Yes, it is too beautiful for me!" "No matter, I give you the best, I am not stingy." "My modesty obliges me to refuse. I will sleep at the embassy; I prefer it." "As you like." At the embassy they arranged to give me a room; it is not luxurious but it is clean. I change my clothes, and it is in the cos- tume of a Captain of Mounted Divers that I witness the naval review ordered in my honor. The iron-clads of the Turkish navy are in an excellent state of preservation. Profiting [31] The All Highest by the example of European fleets, the Sultan does not risk his outside of the har- bor, with the result that he has no occasion to dread the accidents which so often trans- form the iron-clads into submarines. Be- sides, this Turk has a don't-care-a-damn nonchalance quite Oriental which greatly aids him in the accomplishment of the deli- cate task of Sovereign. And yet he is sufficiently practical ; rather than keep his men-of-war idle, he utilizes them for popular emergencies. Thus he has transformed the iron-clad Dreadful into floating baths at the bottom of the sea, and during the hot weather he realises a hand- some income from it. The first-class moni- tor Catastrophe is a public laundry boat where in consideration of a small fee the women of the city may wash their soiled linen en famille. The Terrifier, the only vessel that has a steam engine, furnishes the electric light for the palace. The big iron-clad. Ravage has been divided into a casino-jetty promenade where travelling troops give operettas, and the regular fre- [32] The All Highest quenters play baccara. As for the torpedo- boats, they rent them by the day to those of the leisured class who wish to take a sail. This review of the Turkish fleet inter- ested me greatly; there is much to be learned from their novel ideas. It was the Sultan himself who informed me, when I inquired as to the other iron-clad, the Mas- sacre, that he had turned it over to the Sal- vation Army. The dinner was not remarkable. I fore- see that I shall have trouble with the food during my entire journey. I was placed beside my host; that man has no gift for conversation; he knows nothing of war matters; he is not interested in military questions; under such conditions the con- versation languished fearfully. What can one do for the night? Midnight. The Sultan had reserved for me an agreeable surprise. The last mouth- ful at dinner swallowed, he said to me: "Guess what we are going to do, Wil- liam?" The All Highest "Set off fire-works, I hazard." "No." "Some music, then, perhaps?" "No." "A lively show?" "Wrong again. They say you are a great hunter?" "Decidedly, yes." "Very well, we are going to shoot some Armenians from ambush. There are but few left and I have reserved them for you. You know it's great sport, very amusing. We wait until the beaters-up have made the game rise, and as soon as it attempts to escape we fire." I have hunted a little everywhere. I have killed a little of everything but I was still ignorant of the Armenian hunt which is the favorite sport of the country. Abdul and I placed ourselves in ambush in the look-out. The guards released about a hundred head of Armenians and drove them in our direction. At the end of an hour we ceased firing. On the field there were : [34] 'HE QUARRY TJniform of a Corporal of Tyrolian Hunters) The All Highest 25 old men 40 men 14 women 21 minors Total 100 They arranged the quarry by the light of the torches; it was very picturesque. It appears that this game becomes more and more rare; that is what the Sultan confided to me with the bitterness of an old hunter who sees his favourite beast disappear. I had dressed myself for the occasion in the costume of a Brigadier of Tyrolian Hunters. At supper Abdul and I talked with greater familiarity. We discussed diverse questions of internal politics, then we "talked shop." I maintained that the best way to make one beloved by a people is to amuse them with military parades, reviews, military exercises and military music. The Sultan does not share my opinion. He finds the best way to make himself respected and cherished is never to show himself. "I live [37] The All Highest in my kiosque, not through timidity, but because I do not care for society. I have simple tastes. And then there is an Arab proverb which says ^Do not allow them to eat out of thine hand or they will eat the handy And he disclosed to me the con- siderable role played by hemp and poison- ous substances in the Ottoman Dynasty. I have already found that the work of an Emperor is not so joyful that one should complicate it with suspicion ; one might as well resign at once. At dessert, rendered a little lively by the repast taken at my hotel, I inquired, *'Could one see the ladies?" He replied that they had retired, and promised to show them to me the next day. This was unfortunate as I felt in an amiable mood. I write these notes and go to bed. October 24. As I awakened, the Sultan sent me the brevet of Corporal of Turkish Infantry. By chance, I had brought the costume; I put it on; Abdul informs me that they are going to have a review in my [38] ESCORT OF HONOR The All Highest honour. At last I shall have some distrac- tion. 4 0^ clock. I return; the review did not satisfy me; the men manoeuvred like fire- men. They began by presenting me to the Generals of the Turkish army, Schleif- mann-Pasha, Von der Wurst-Pasha, Hans Brauwer-Effendi, Sidi-Kobus-Bey, Tou- meh-Pasha, etc. They speak the German language quite purely and without accent. Then the march began; I noticed at first that the uniform of each regiment was not uniform ; thus certain ones in the same com- pany have European pantaloons, others Turkish pantaloons, others none at all. I admit that it is fantastic but hardly fitting in such degree. Same variety of head-dress ; the one who prefers a helmet puts on a helmet, the one who likes a fez wears a fez ; there are even those who wear bicycle-caps which is surely not according to the ordinance. The armament is but slightly more homo- geneous ; every model of gun is found in the [41] The All Highest hands of Ottoman soldiers. I asked the Sultan if this was premeditated in order to have, in case of war, different sorts of ex- periences; he replied that the state of his finances did not permit of his having an- other armament. From the moment it ap- peared to be unpremeditated it was no longer of interest to me. The troops gave evidence of great indi- vidual initiative as each soldier marched at a pace which suited him; it resulted in a slight disorder in the parade. I shall characterize in a phrase the Turkish army; it lacks organization. Abdul-Hamid as- sured me that that was for the best. "I have also," added he, "excellent means for mak- ing the men fight well; I never pay them. They have to conquer forcibly." This confidence opens the horizon to me. Perhaps the Sultan is finally right. "If one has the strength of a lion to defend one's property, one has that of a tiger to take the property of others!" as says the proverb, which I am pleased to believe to be Persian. This evening, private dinner at the Ildiz- [42] A LITTLE "pork" ON THE SIDE The All Highest Kiosk. We are again going to eat their vile preserves a la rose; I am sick at the stomach In advance. Midnight, Ah! Ah! I return from -but let us not anticipate. We dined. Naquet I mean, Abdul- Hamid has the slovenly habit of having each dish tasted by his officers. In answer to my inquiry, he informed me that he took this precaution in order not to be poisoned. Such things cut the appetite as with a razor. When I return to the embassy I will have them serve me a supper. At dessert, as we were in a sprightly humour, Abdul said to me: "Come, admit it!" "What?" "Confess that you are burning with curiosity!" "Curiosity for what?" "To see my harem, by Mahomet!" I had an austere youth; rarely was it permitted me to see the creatures whose sole mission it is to bring a little happiness to men in exchange for worldly goods. Mo- [45] The All Highest nogamy seems to me to be very much out of date and I regret not being able to sub- stitute for it a well regulated polygamy; furthermore nearly all superior men are polygamous; — at least clandestinely. The offer of the Sultan made my mouth water. It did not appear to me incompat- ible with my Divine Mission that I should go to admire the works of the Most High in that in which they are most perfect. I responded. "Show me the way and I am yours!" "No; the ladies must first be warned." "On the contrary let us surprise them." "I will not do that." I requested a few moments to change my costume, and I dressed myself as a Lieutenant-Colonel of Eunuchs of His Majesty; nevertheless I retained my mous- taches. After many turnings in the seraglio (as I had not been brought up there I did not know the turns) we stopped in front of a little door guarded by black eunuchs; the black eunuchs are distinguished from the [46] rHE SLEEP OF THE VIRGIN The All Highest white eunuchs only by the colour of their skin. They allowed us to pass. Abdul, who preceded me, opened the door, and I heard the women's voices cry- ing, "Oh! Oh! Here is the Master!'' "Silence within! I have some one with me!" When I entered in my turn, the women exclaimed to one another: "Look! A new one!" "He has a good face!" "Come on, we won't eat you!" I was greatly embarrassed ; to my natural awkwardness was added an awkwardness intensified still more by my ignorance of the place where I found myself. The room was square, furnished with a divan which extended the length of the Walls; above the divan was a profusion of mirrors. Upon the cushions sat a number of women very lightly clothed ; every coun- try was represented; I even noticed a ne- gress, — how refined these Orientals are! They invited me to be seated upon the divan and they presented me successively to all the women; there are three hundred of [49] The All Highest them, not one less. Of course there are plain ones as well as handsome ones ; but the beauties are in the majority. The women grow stout very quickly, for they take but little exercise. Nevertheless I do not dislike that. Their names are very elegant and very poetic. Flora, Carmen, Mascotte, Julia, Sonia, Camelia, Lelia, etc., etc. The names of birds are also frequently met. Mesange, Famette, and the names of flowers, Violette, Reseda. It is an old Oriental custom to so christen every now pensioner. The introductions finished, I judged it proper to order a few bottles of wine to regale these amiable persons; on their part, they stuffed my pockets with mild cigarettes and sugar cakes. Then upon the order of the Master, many of the women began to dance a national dance, very curious and voluptuous; mean- while, other women sang characteristic songs. They call it the danse du ventre. Decidedly one learns in travelling. In the long run the spectacle acts upon the nervous system. I was in a state of [50] The All Highest comatose happiness, when one of the women who had not danced approached me. . . . Here the recital of the Emperor is in- terrupted; there is about a half page where the writing has been carefully scratched out; there can be distinguished here and there a few words, such as ^'happiness,'' '^ de- lightful,'^ ^' chandelier I' ^^ present" — but it is impossible to make out to what these words relate and how they should be put together. The experts we have consulted do not agree. There is reason to believe that the guest of the Sultan feared he would lose his note book filled with too precise recollections. We shall not try to open a Judas in the wall of his private life. The recital of the Em- peror continues on another page. [51] The All Highest October 2^, In order to express my thanks to my amiable companion I have sent him the brevet and insignia of Captain of Pomeranian Grenadiers. My word, but these little presents maintain friendship; I do not regret what I have done. I am en- tirely satisfied with my evening; this morn- ing I awakened somewhat fagged, but it will soon pass. Abdul Hamid insists that I visit his capitol. (It is the turn of the proprietor) I cannot escape; they are all the same, they must show me their monuments. I have as many at their services, at home. Here the mosques are plentiful ; they are very tiresome. Before entering, one must remove one's shoes and go in barefoot. My host very kindly offered to help me remove mine; I visited then St. Sophia, shoeless. Islamism is a religion of vagabonds. They took me everywhere, then they authorised me to put on my shoes and leave. There were other curiosities; I should have preferred to return to the harem, but [ 52 ] AT THE DOOR OF SAINT-SOPHIA The All Highest Abdul Hamid would not listen to it. I did not insist. October 26. It is ended; I must leave. My Divine Mission demands it. I am the Messiah who comes to renew the chain of mystic traditions. It is a question of being serious. I decided to resume my route toward Jerusalem. Besides Mr. Cook is becoming impatient. At the moment of leaving, Abdul-Hamid loaded me with presents; he gave me things of which the commercial value is almost nothing, but the historic value is unrivalled: A hair from the Prophet's beard A stone from the great mosque of Mecca A bone from Mahomet's horse A pair of slippers A pair of fez A worn-out marghile which came from his Uncle A dozen seals of Mammam A sabre of the National guard The Osman cross Some nugat [55] The All Highest Finally, just as I was about to embark, he presented me with a little harbour on the side. I thanked him profusely. He in- quired: "Are you satisfied with your sojourn at the Porte?" "I could not be more so." "You have not been bored?" "Not for a moment." "Then you will return?" "Have no fear about that! The next time I will come without being invited!" This promise did not seem to give him enormous pleasure. I kissed the Sultan and went on board my vessel. En route ! The same evening I went ashore at Kaiff a. Attention ! October 2J. The reception at Kaiffa has been most cordial; there are not many people in this country. I took a carriage; we left for Cesara. At night we slept in the open air, under the star, which guided the Wise Men of the East. It is interesting but the farther I pro- [56] AU REVOIR, SULTAN, I SHALL RETURN WITHOUT BEING INVITED The All Highest ceed, the more the object of this journey seems vague. October 28. From Cesara to Jaffa. Continually by carriage. Few people out to see us pass. This evening as I noticed signs of demoralization in my troop I or- ganised a dramatic entertainment. They gave charades in the open air, and I gave a lecture, not without some success. Subject, Would the Messiah have succeeded more quickly if he had had an army with him? October 2g, From Jaffa to Latrun. We draw near. The trip was made on horse- back. I prefer that. The scenery varies but little; however I thought of all the im- portant things that had happened in this region; I gather up my confused recollec- tions. I am in the country of Sacred His- tory; it lacks comfort. I understand why the Jews are not in a hurry to restore Jeru- salem. The country is worth nothing. But when one is a Sovereign, one must have seen the Holy Land, the cradle of our bankers. [59] The All Highest To-morrow I shall enter Zion. Mr. Cook assures me that everything is prepared; he has looked after the preparations himself. I handed him a military march that I com- posed on the way; it is very original; I found the principal theme between Ka'iffa and Jaffa. I desire that the march be exe- cuted with music as I enter the City. Mr. Cook tried it immediately upon his travelling accordion ; he finds that it strik- ingly recalls the great composers, the Wagner of Parsifal, the Mendelssohn of Songe, the Gounod of Faust, the Meyerbeer of the Prophet, and even the Strauss of the Blue Danube. Upon my word, that Eng- lishman has good taste. I awakened during the night; I went to one of the wells ; I did not meet a Samaritan woman. It was a pity. I returned to the tent and began a composition which repre- sents Lohengrin going to receive Ma- homet's kiss. I can say positively that I have never composed anything finer. I do not pride myself on being a uni- versal man; but I find that a Sovereign should be skilful with his hands. Louis [60] LOHENGRIN RECEIVING MAHOMET*S KISS The All Highest XVI was only a locksmith, and it was that which made him lose. As for me, I em- brace everything! Nevertheless it is a great pity that I did not meet a Samaritan woman. Mr. Cook should have looked out for it! October 30. Midnight. I return broken with fatigue. What a never-to-be-forgotten day! We arrived at Jerusalem toward three o'clock. I immediately dismounted from my horse and ordered an ass. I wished to make my entrance like Him! I might have put on a white tunic, but my journey would have lost all significa- tion ; it was with a helmet on my head that I entered the City of Judea! The procession was organised; I first, all alone, at the head, then the music, then Mr. Cook; then my retinue, then the tourists. As we proceeded, they waved great palms and threw flowers at us. At first the donkey refused to advance ; that animal was not aware of the role he was playing; he tried to escape from the honour of carrying [63] The All Highest me. Fortunately I am a good horseman; when we reached the Jaffa gate, the music started up, and the frightened animal took the bit in his teeth; my entrance almost miscarried. What my pride as a scene-setter suffered during the few minutes of the gallop of that ass no one will ever know, I finally mastered the ass which in the end became accustomed to the sound of the big drum ; I listened to my music, really it is not bad; it is music with melody, and not the satanic modern music, learned and wearisome. We started to march, the ass missed the step. The ceremony was so imposing that an astonished child shouted, ^^Hoorah! here is a circus!" This naive exhibition of admira- tion went straight to my heart. We advanced slowly, banners waving, under the sun. I was very warm. The shouts did not cease; evidently, other than the Agency tourists, there were not many present; Jerusalem is not a very populous city. Notwithstanding one meets so few Israelites, anti-semiticism is, so to speak, un- [64] 'HE SERMON IN THE DESERT [Uniform of an Officiating Minister) The All Highest known. The best society of the city re- ceived me with enthusiasm. In the midst of the ceremony, I dis- mounted, as the ass announced his intention of rolling on the ground ; and I felt that no consideration, political or religious, would prevent him. I preferred to get off. I proceeded to the Sepulchre; it is the classic itinerary. They greatly exaggerate the importance of these places. Neverthe- less a Sovereign who visits a tomb produces a great impression. I returned, with music leading, to the house they had procured for me; in the evening illuminations. The in- stallation is defective ; the fare is mediocre, feeble even. At heart, I begin to regret my home. What did I come here to do? October 31, I announced a trip to Beth- lehem to be followed by a sermon in my own style. I do not know but that this was a mistake as no one followed me. It is from Bethlehem that the custom came of placing shoes in the chimney Christmas eve; it must be a curious custom V^7\ The All Highest as there are no chimneys and no shoes to speak of. I asked to see the famous stable; they showed it to me, or rather the first one at hand. For want of preservation the verit- able stable has disappeared. Always the lack of organisation. Upon my return I was entirely alone. I had prepared an allocution which greatly appealed to me. I was reduced to deliver- ing it in the desert. Bah! I am not the first one to whom that has happened. I delivered the sermon on the plain, I have a fine talent for speaking. I not only strike my hearers, I move them. And I had the pleasure of converting my- self after having moved myself to tears. That conversion does me honour. I wore for the occasion the frock-coat of an officiating minister. The heat is overpowering. November I. I have consecrated a temple; the architecture I designed myself; for I am an architect; I said to the people here, ^'Destroy the temple and I will re- [68] THE COLD BATH IN THE JORDAN (Uniform of a Corporal of Divers) The All Highest build it for you in three days!" They be- lieved that I spoke figuratively. I am rather clever in the architect's art; furthermore one does not have to be a magician; one has only to draw the lines. If I had the time and money I would pass my time in building. The heat is unbearable; upon my word. I could stand it no longer; I decided to take a bath in the Jordan. I was in the costume of no, in fact, I wore a simple pair of bathing drawers. I entered the Jordan, swimming. I did not go as far as the Dead Sea; enough of sad things! The inhabitants are decidedly stupid! They have a sea and they allow it to die! The bath set me up a little! I tried to walk on the water; it is very difficult; I haven't the secret, I must try it in the Winter in Berlin, when it freezes; I shall think the matter over. At Jericho, Mr. Cook had arranged an "incident" which will, I hope, produce a lively impression. As I was proceeding to my camp, I was accosted in the public place by a cripple, wrapped in unclean linen. [71] The All Highest "Charity, my Prince !'' "I have no money," I replied. "I am sick." "Ah! I have a little medical knowledge; I will cure you. From what do you suffer?" "I have leprosy!" I made a motion to step back. Fortu- nately Mr. Cook nudged me; I understood. "Man, what dost thou desire?" "Only touch my sores and I shall be healed." "It shall be done according to thy desire." I touched his sores. The man arose, and standing, appeared perfectly healthy. I cured in the same manner a legless man sitting in a bowl and a one-armed person. The tourists were astonished. Starting from this moment, I was as- sailed by a crowd of sick people, not ar- ranged for by Mr. Cook, who wanted me to touch their sores. I made my escape. The repasts are not substantial! I would like to shorten my journey. I have seen enough ! [72] RESURRECTION OF THE LEPER (Uniform of a Surgeon of the Salvation Army) The All Highest Mr. Cook, to whom I said a word upon the subject is opposed; according to our contract, I shall not be free until November i6 at Alexandria! Until then I am his property. He reports to me that the tourists are enchanted and that they would become furious if I should refuse to keep my en- gagements. He showed me a poster he had printed. In a short time Emperor William, II Will accomplish The Ascension "And how?" "In a balloon; it is in the baggage; they are going to fill it at once." "I will not lend myself to that!" "Come! Come! Is not Your Majesty an aeronaut?" Mr. Cook knows how to touch me on my weak point. After all, why should I not be an aeronaut? Quo non ascendam? — To what heights can I not mount? [75] The All Highest November 2. All through Jericho we passed these posters. To Day The New Messiah Will effect an Ascension In the Balloon The Never to be Forgotten Grandfather** Departure at J o^clock sharp . 0' 1> y6 ^oV^ .0 i5'=2«. • * .4 ^9^ .0- .40^ ^^. '«•*»* ^..^^ ^. 'a • 4 « /S <^ ♦-T7.' .0 * ^^'^ HECKMAN BINDERY INC. ^^OCT 89 8S^ N. MANCHESTER, '**-^ INDIANA 46962