PS 3503 
 .R53 L5 
 1919 
 Copy 1 
 
 5A^ ^lays Exchanged 
 
 LINE BUSY 
 
 Price, 25 Cents 
 
 WALTER HBAKER 6"CX) 
 BOSTON 
 
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 J 
 
 BAKER, 5 Hamilton 
 
 Place, Boston 
 
 , Mass. 
 
 
 1 
 
 ^^ .i(r^.,,»9r^^^QF>|F>IF^^^^5r VM' W W V ^ 
 
 
LINE BUSY 
 
 A Comedy in Two Acts 
 
 By 
 GLADYS RUTH BRIDGHAM 
 
 Author of '^'^ The Hitrdy-Gindy Girl," "Step Lively," ^'Honeymoon 
 
 Flats," "The Thirteenth Star," '^Captaiti Cranberry," "Behind 
 
 the Scenes," "At the Sign of the Shooting Star," "The Girl from 
 
 Upper 7 Ranch," "Leave it to Polly," "A Regular Scream," 
 
 "Not on the Frogramme" "A Hloderii Cinderella," "On the 
 
 Quiet," "A Regular Rah ! Rah ! Boy," "Sally Ltatn," 
 
 "Six 'Junes iVine," "Cupid's Partner," "Her First 
 
 Assignment," "A Case for Sherlock Holmes," "Ring- 
 
 Around-a-Rosie," "Three of a ICind" "The Turn 
 
 in the Road," "The Queen of Hearts" "The 
 
 Man Without a Country" "ILitty's Service 
 
 Flag," "Lucinda Speaks" etc. 
 
 NOTE 
 
 Tliis play may be jjerformed by amateurs free of royalty and 
 without express permission. The professional stage-rights are, 
 however-, strictly reserved, and performance by ])rofessional 
 actors, given in advertised places of amusement and for profit, is 
 forbidden. Persons who may wish to produce this play publicly 
 and professionally sliould apply to the author in care of the 
 publishers. 
 
 BOSTON 
 
 WALTER H. BAKER & CO. 
 1919 
 
t^ 
 
 ^^ 
 
 '?^ 
 
 LINE BtJSY 
 
 CHARACTERS 
 
 {As origi7iaUy presented in High School Hall, Somerville, 
 
 Mass., Thursday evenitig. May i, igig, in the order 
 
 of their appearajice on the stage. ) 
 
 Janice Reece, an instructor - - - _ Ruth Bidmead. 
 Snowball, the viaid - - - - - J^argueriie Morrison. 
 
 THE JUNIORS 
 Marion .--.-.- Rose Friedman. 
 
 Ada - - - - -.- - - Ruth Sprague. 
 
 Flossie Mildred Hutchinson. 
 
 Stella Mildred Reardott. 
 
 Agnes Margaret Johnstone. 
 
 Phyllis ---..--- Claudia Bryant. 
 Marie- - - - . . - - Doris Westlund. 
 
 Jeremiah Stokes, the cotistable - - - Aaron Noyes. 
 
 Lorraine P'enwick - ... - Miss Bridgham. 
 
 Mrs. Olive Gleason- Hamilton - - - Phyllis Noyes, 
 
 M.KGiiO'Lih, her datighter - - - . Gladys Rear doti, 
 
 RoscoE Linden Ralph Lamont\ 
 
 Parker Hamilton - . . - . Raymond Morrison] 
 
 Jack Huntley - ' Elmer Sanders'. 
 
 THE SENIORS 
 
 Jean Morris ...... Lillian Thomas. 
 
 Anita Shirley - Ruth Woolly. 
 
 Helen Burns --._.. Jcannette Crosby. 
 
 Muriel Collins - May McHugh. 
 
 Frances Rose --...- Kay McLaughlin. 
 
 Gladys Symons - . . - . Marion Silberman. 
 
 Richard Fenwick ------ David Snow. 
 
 Trixie Tree, an actress ----- Ricth Cahoon. 
 
 Copyright, 1919, by Gladys Ruth Bridgham 
 As atithor and proprietor 
 
 Professional stage and ??ioinng pictuj-e rights reserved 
 
 SEP 30 !315@c,,Q 52704 
 
SYNOPSIS 
 
 Act L — Room in Fenwick Hall School for girls, 
 Benning- Village. An afternoon in June. 
 
 Act II. — The same. Evening of the same day. 
 
 The musical program in Act II should be varied to 
 suit the taste, talent and facilities of the characters in 
 each case. 
 
 CHARACTERISTICS 
 
 Linden is twenty-one; Richard Fenwick, eighteen; 
 Hamilton, twenty-five; Stokes, fifty; Huntley, eight- 
 een. 
 
 Lorraine Fenwick is twenty-five; Janice and Olive 
 about the same age ; Magnolia, seven ; the seniors, seven- 
 teen to nineteen. The juniors are fourteen to sixteen; 
 Marion is the oldest-appearing of the juniors and in 
 Act II is used in the senior group in the musical numbers. 
 
 COSTUMES 
 
 Act I. — Linden wears a Palm Beach suit; Richard, 
 blue serge; Hamilton, light gray; Huntley, white trou- 
 sers and blue serge coat ; Stokes is a farmer. Lorraine 
 wears a striking sport suit and large fancy hat; Olive 
 and Magnolia, travelling clothes ; Janice, silk afternoon 
 dress; Snowball, black dress, white cap and apron; 
 Ada, Stella, Marion and Flossie, dancing frocks; the 
 other juniors and the seniors, summer dresses, silk 
 i sweaters and straw hats. 
 
 I Act II. — Lorraine and Olive, evening dresses ; Jan- 
 jiCE, a velvet gown; Magnolia, a soldier boy uniform; 
 juniors and seniors all wear fancy costumes; when they 
 first enter they wear coats or evening capes which cover 
 the costumes ; the wraps are removed when they leave the 
 stage to come back in the musical numbers. 
 
 The young men wear the same as in Act I. 
 
Line Busy 
 
 ACT I 
 
 SCENE. — Room in the Fcmvick Hall School for Girls. 
 Large exit c, showing garden beyond. Exit l. and a 
 stairzvay or another exit r. Study table doivn r. ; tele- 
 pone on table; tea-table down l. Armchair back of 
 study table; smaller chairs at r. and l. of table; group 
 of small chairs around tea-table; divan at l. of center 
 exit; speaking tube and bell on wall near left exit. 
 
 (Discovered, Janice Reece standing r. front, Ada, 
 Stella, Flossie and Marion taking dancing lesson. 
 Snowball enters l. ; goes to Janice.) 
 
 Janice {clicks castanets; girls stop dancing). What 
 did you say? 
 
 Snowball. I done tole you dat dere's a p'leeceman at 
 de door. 
 
 Jan. a policeman? 
 
 Snow. Yas'um. De kin' dey hev in dis fo'saken 
 'cality. I 'clares to goodness it am ree-dic'lous to call him 
 a p'leeceman. I 'clare I hev to laff 
 
 Jan. {interrupting). That will do! What does the 
 policeman want? 
 
 Snow. He all wants ter see Miss Fenwick. I done 
 tole him she's out, but he done say he'll stay. He all's 
 gwine ter arrest half de youn' ladies in dis school. 
 
 Jan. {astonished). Going to arrest half the young 
 ladies in this school? 
 
 Snow. Yas'um. Ain' dat scan'lous? 
 
 Jan. Where is he ? 
 
 Snow. Sittin' on de front steps. 
 
 5 
 
LINE BUSY 
 
 Jan. I guess I had better see him. 
 
 Snow. I reckon yo' had. He's mighty independent. 
 Jes' Hke de Kaiser when he started de war. [Exit. 
 
 Jan. I will come at once. Young ladies, the after- 
 noon's lesson is over. 
 
 (Jan. exit l. ; girls follow her to door and stand look- 
 ing out.) 
 
 Ada. You don't suppose 
 
 Marion. Gee ! I don't know. 
 Stella. Miss Reece is letting him in ! 
 Flossie. I'm so scared my teeth are chattering. 
 Mar. Get out of sight. One look at your face would 
 be enough to make any one suspicious. 
 
 Stel. But if he — if he 
 
 Ada. Keep still ! 
 
 Agnes {outside ) . Girls, are you here ? 
 
 Enters c, followed hy Marie and Phyllis. 
 
 Marie. We've run so, we're nearly dead. 
 
 Phyllis. Oh, girls! it's terrible! It's in all the 
 papers. 
 
 Girls. What is? What do you mean? 
 
 Agnes. About Monday night. 
 
 Ada. Do you mean in the newspapers? 
 
 Marie. Yes. 
 
 Flos. But how can it be ? 
 
 Phyl. Not about us, of course, but about the old 
 Lovell House being broken into. 
 
 Marie. And, Marion, that awful old jigger you lugged 
 off with you was worth five thousand dollars. 
 
 Girls. What? 
 
 Agnes. It was a family heirloom. 
 
 Marie. Good-night! 
 
 Ada. Well, for goodness' sake, give it to Marion and 
 we'll find a way to put it back. 
 
 Marie. We haven't got it. 
 
 Mar. Well, why not ? 
 
 Agnes. It wasn't where you put it. 
 
 Mar. Gosh ! 
 
LINE BUSY 7 
 
 Marie. I should think you'd say gosh. You've stolen 
 and lost 
 
 Stel. Hush ! Mr. Stokes is in this house now ! 
 
 Marie. ) 
 
 Phyl. >• He is? 
 
 Agnes. ) 
 
 Flos. I bet he saw some of us that night. 
 
 Ada. Why did we ever go into that house ? 
 
 Stel. What difference does it make why we went? 
 The only thing that matters is the fact we were there and 
 that Marion stole 
 
 Mar. Don't you say that again. You know I didn't 
 intend to. I had the old thing in my hand and forgot to 
 put it down. I hid it in that old tree at the foot of the 
 garden, so I'd know where I could find it and put it back. 
 I don't believe you girls half looked for it. 
 
 Marie. Oh, we did ! 
 
 Agnes. Yes, Phyllis even climbed up in the tree. 
 
 Mar. It's too ridiculous that any one would find a 
 thing in that tree. 
 
 PiiYL. Well, they did. Girls, Miss Fenwick will ask 
 all kinds of questions if Mr. Stokes thinks he saw any 
 of us. 
 
 Stel. Thinks he saw any of us ? 
 
 Ada. We'll have to get a story readv. 
 
 Flos. Who'll tell it ? 
 
 Stel. Let's draw lots. 
 
 Agnes. Yes. Good idea. There are — seven of us. 
 
 Mar. (goes to table and writes numbers on slips of 
 paper; girls draw near). Twenty-three will be it. All 
 right. 
 
 (Girls draw.) 
 
 Ada (looks at her slip). Seven ! 
 
 Marie. Four ! 
 
 Agnes. Twelve ! 
 
 Flos. Forty ! 
 
 Phyl. Nineteen ! 
 
 Mar. Thirty ! 
 
 Stel. Twenty-three ! Oh, I never can do it ! 
 
8 LINE BUSY 
 
 Ada. Oh, yes, you can. Miss Reece gave us a permit 
 to go to tlie village to do some errands, 
 
 Flos. And we did so many for other people that we 
 got belated. 
 
 Mar. Sure. The cook found she didn't have any 
 breakfast cereal. The grocer forgot to bring it. 
 
 Agnes. And Snowball wanted hairpins, and Miss 
 Reece wanted some complexion cream. She thinks she is 
 growing very white with so much care and worry. 
 
 PiiYL. And the gardener's wife asked us to stop for 
 her umbrella that she lent to Mrs. Mason, because it 
 looked as if it was going to rain the next day and she was 
 going to the city. 
 
 Mar. That will be easy. Just tell what really hap- 
 pened. 
 
 Stel. Oh, I'll try, but I expect to die. 
 
 Ada (starts up r.). Say, come outside and see what 
 the children are doing. We're responsible for them, you 
 know. 
 
 Girls. All right. [Exeunt, c. 
 
 Enter Jan. and Stokes, l. 
 
 Jan. I think you had better come in and sit down, Mr. 
 Stokes. Miss Fenwick should be here now, but, of 
 course, it's impossible to tell exactly when she will be in. 
 
 Stokes. Ya-as, I reckon. {Takes a chair doivn l. ) 
 Kind o' flighty minded young woman, ben't she? 
 
 Jan. I should say decidedly not. {Sits up r.) 
 
 Stokes. Wal, I jedge by appearances, o' course. I 
 see her flukin' round the country rigged up like a circus 
 rider 
 
 Jan. Mr. Stokes ! 
 
 Stokes. Wal, not exactly, o' course, but most o' the 
 Avimmen nowadays could ride in a circus without any 
 change o' costume. What I meant was the conspicuous 
 way Miss Fenwick gets herself up. I snum, you can see 
 her comin' seven miles off. 
 
 Jan. T don't blame her. If I had as much money as 
 she has I'd have clothes, too. 
 
LINE BUSY 9' 
 
 Stoki:s. I reckon ! You wimmen are all alike. Don't 
 think o' nothin' but clothes. 
 
 Jan. We do ! I guess you'd think so if you held a po- 
 sition in a place like this. 
 
 STOKiiS. I reckon! Kind o' wearin', ben't it? 
 
 Jan. Wearing? That doesn't express it. 
 
 Stokes. What you here for? Why haven't you got 
 married and let some one else do the working while you 
 chewed gum and went to the movies? 
 
 Jan. No one ever asked me. 
 
 Stokes. Wal, gosh all turnip tops ! Say, will you 
 shake hands with me? (Rises and goes to Jan.) I'm 
 proud to know you. You're the only honest woman I 
 ever met. 
 
 Jan. For goodness' sakes ! (Rises.) 
 
 Stokes (looks out zvindow). By tunket ! There's that 
 pair o' rascals. I'll be back. [Exit, c. 
 
 Jan. Well, did you ever! (Stands r. of c.) 
 
 Enter Lorraine Fenwick, c. 
 
 Lorraine. Miss Reece, why is Mr. Stokes racing 
 across the lawn as if the whole village was on fire? 
 
 Jan. I don't know. He— he saw something. 
 
 LoR. I should say he did. Perhaps the 26th has ar- 
 rived. What was he doing here? 
 
 Jan. He came to see you. 
 
 LoR. Indeed? I'm honored. Can you tell me, Miss 
 Reece, why the dancing class is playing mud pies by the 
 back stoop in their afternoon dresses, and using the best 
 china and solid silver? 
 
 Jan. Merciful Heaven, are they? Why, they were 
 here, Miss Fenwick. Ada was in charge. I was so upset 
 by Mr. Stokes. He says he is going to arrest a number 
 of our young ladies. 
 
 LoR. I'm not surprised. It's just one thing after an- 
 other in this house. (Down r. ; puts hag on table.) 
 
 Jan. I know you blame me. (Follows Lor.) 
 
 Lor. Not I. You're a jewel, Janice. I couldn't live 
 without you. 
 
10 LINE BUSY 
 
 Jan. I wi !: I could keep everything going smooth for 
 you. 
 
 Lor. (removes aJovc). You would breathe for me if 
 you could. Well, I have to live through this four years 
 after this. 
 
 Jan. I don't understand. 
 
 Lor. No, and I can't explain, but if there's anything 
 left of us at the end of five years, I'm going to run away 
 with you to some desert isle where we'll never have an- 
 other care. Where are the other teachers ? 
 
 Jan. Miss Lord has gone to the village and Miss 
 Whitney has the toothache. 
 
 LoR. (throivs glove on table). Heaven! Is there any 
 
 end to the aches and pains of that woman? Well, see to 
 
 the children, and I'll be ready to receive Mr. Stokes if he 
 
 ever returns. [Jan. exits, c. 
 
 Enter Snow., r. 
 
 Snov^. Have yo' all come in. Miss Fenwick? 
 
 LoR. (steps to c). No, Snowball, I'm still walking 
 down Main Street. 
 
 Snow. Ma Ian' ! Ain't dat a handsome dress ! I 
 reckon I'd look fine in one like dat. Would yo' all have 
 any 'jections if I got one like dat to wear to church ? 
 
 LoR. Certainly not. I should feel highly compli- 
 mented. 
 
 Snow. I bet Rastus Johnson proposes to me the very 
 first Sunday. Lan', I forgot there's a lady and a little 
 girl in the reception room. 
 
 LoR. Very well, show them in. (To table.) 
 
 Snow, (starts to exit; turns back). Oh, Miss Fen- 
 wick, did yo' all hear about the policeman comin' here? 
 
 Lor. Yes. 
 
 .Snow. Going to arrest half de young ladies in dis 
 school. He done tole me so himself. Ain't it scan'lous? 
 
 LoR. That remains to be seen. Show the lady in. 
 
 Snow. Yes'm. 
 
 (Exit, L. Pause. Reenter with Mrs. Olive Gleason 
 Hamilton and Magnolia.) 
 
LINE BUSY H 
 
 Lor. Olive! (Kisses her.) 
 
 Olive. My dear Lorraine ! (Kisses her on cheek.) 
 
 Lor. This is a surprise ! You may go now, Snowball. 
 (Snow, exit, c.) Is this your little girl, Olive? 
 
 Olive. Yes, this is Magnolia. Darling, will you stand 
 on your own feet, please? (Takes a chair.) 
 
 LoR. I'm glad to see you, my dear. 
 
 (Starts to kiss Mag.) 
 
 Magnolia. Mother doesn't allow me to kiss people. 
 I'm apt to get germs. 
 
 Olive. 'Nolia ! My dear ! 
 
 LoR. What's her name? (Chair doivn r.) 
 
 Olive. Magnolia. That's where I first met her 
 father, — Magnolia, by the sea, I thought it was such a 
 romantic name, but you know Howard hasn't an ounce of 
 sentiment, and he began to call her Maggie. I couldn't 
 stand that, so I settled upon 'Nolia. Darling, will you 
 stand on your own feet? How very quiet you are, Lor- 
 raine. I'm on my way south. Howard is going on a 
 business trip, and he wants me to go with him. I can't 
 possibly take 'Nolia, so I decided to leave my little treas- 
 ure with you while we are gone. Darling, will you please 
 stand on your own feet? 
 
 LoR. We shall be very glad 
 
 Olive. Yes, I thought you would. I told Howard 
 you would be overjoyed to have 'Nolia. I was telling him 
 about the school. My dear, aren't you tired of it? 
 
 LoR. Well, I should hope not. I still have four years 
 ahead of me. 
 
 Olive. And you intend to go on with it ? 
 
 Lor. To the bitter end. 
 
 Olive. Well, of course, a million dollars is a lot of 
 money, but I don't believe I would do it for five million. 
 
 LoR. Nor I, if I alone was concerned. I have my 
 brother's son to think of. If I give up my million, I'm 
 taking his away from him. 
 
 Olive. My dear, couldn't something be done about 
 the will ? Your uncle was certainly mad — quite mad. 
 
12 LINE BUSY 
 
 Lor. No, he wasn't. Eccentric, I'll admit. But sane, 
 quite sane. 
 
 Olive. It's an outrage. 'Nolia, will you please stand 
 on your own feet ? It's the .most wearing thing to have a 
 child standing right on top of you all the time. You 
 ought to be married, Lorraine. Four years more! 
 Mercy, your last hope will have fled ! I should think you 
 would be afraid now that people would think you never 
 had a chance. Just think ! I have been married eight 
 years, and look at my great big daughter. 
 
 Mag. Yes, look at me. Ain't I some kid? 
 
 Olive. And you are older than I. 
 
 LoR. Yes, but I don't look it. Oh, er — Olive, you are 
 going to stay a while. 
 
 Olive. Only an hour or so. Just to get 'Nolia settled. 
 
 Lor. {rising). Then I will show you over the school. 
 And you can see her room and meet the other children. 
 
 Olive. Yes, I especially want to see the other children. 
 I'm very fussy about whom 'Nolia associates with, — we 
 have been so particular, and selected her associates with 
 the greatest care. [Exeunt, r. 
 
 Enter Linden Roscoe, c, pulling Hamilton after him. 
 
 Linden. Slide, Cully, slide ! Saved by an ace ! No 
 one here, and we've shaken the old duffer. 
 
 Hamilton. Will you let go of me? 
 
 Lin. With pleasure ! 
 
 Ham. (out of breath). You've pretty nearly run me 
 to death. 
 
 Lin. (looks up stairs). Why, you poor little thing. 
 
 Ham. I'd like to break your neck for you. (Door c.) 
 
 Lin. Well, if that isn't gratitude after the way I have 
 pulled you from the clutches of the law. ( IValks c. ) 
 
 Ham. (turns from door). It would have been much 
 better to have faced the old duffer and 
 
 Lin. (out c). Don't you believe it. (Looks dozun 
 stage.) ^ Say, you never had a policeman chase you be- 
 fore, did you? 
 
 Ham. (steps to c). Certainly not. 
 
 Lin. (down, stage). Well, I have. I began young, 
 
LII4E BUSY 13 
 
 and I have had a long and varied career. Just once I 
 stopped and argued. That once cured me. If a police- 
 man has anything to say to me, I haven't the least curi- 
 osity as to what it is. Say, we've struck a swell roost. 
 Who do you suppose is the owner of this stately mansion 
 with its well kept lawns and grand old trees? 
 
 {Looks out R.) 
 
 Ham. How should I know? {Over his shoulder.) 
 I think whoever it is, is giving a lawn party. 
 
 Lin. Well, that's all right, as long as they stay on the 
 lawn. What makes you think there's a party? 
 
 Ham. {both forzvard). Didn't you notice all the 
 girls — down by the gate and over by the sun-house? 
 
 Lin. Ah, yes! Girls to the left of them — girls to the 
 right of them, on through that valley of bliss charged 
 the — how much do you weigh — four hundred? Say, do 
 you suppose any of them saw us? 
 
 Ham. I hope not. Say, this would be a good time for 
 introductions. Who are you? 
 
 {Takes out a card and circular.) 
 
 Lin. Delighted ! Roscoe Linden, representing the 
 Marcus Hill son Co. Everything in aluminum. Just let 
 me show you our circular. You aren't married, are you? 
 
 Ham. Not so that you'd notice it. 
 
 Lin. Well, probably you will be some day, and you 
 want a full set of these before you go to keeping house. 
 Have the little woman start right. Coffee percolator, 
 teakettle, double boiler, large kettle, — stew-pan, dish-pan, 
 jelly mold, cake tin 
 
 Ham. Is there any end? 
 
 Lin. No, we have everything you can mention. Now 
 ^don't be a tight wad. Buy the full set. 
 
 Ham. What in the deuce would I do with it? 
 
 Lin. Keep it for the dearest little woman in the 
 world. Say, who are you? (Ham. hands him a card.) 
 Parker Hamilton, attorney at lazv! Say, why didn't you 
 say so before? My friend, I'll let you handle this case 
 
14 tlNE BUSY 
 
 from now on. I'll have nothing to worry me. I'll just 
 rest on you. 
 
 (Rests head on Ham.'s shoulder. Girls laugh outside, 
 both turn to c.) 
 
 Ham. Are they coming in here? 
 
 Lin. (looking out c). No, the dear things. I'm so 
 fond of girls. 
 
 Ham. What are we going to say when some one does 
 come in? 
 
 Lin. I haven't thought that far. You suggest some- 
 thing. Your mind runs along in the legal channel, and 
 mine — er — mine 
 
 Ham. Doesn't move at all. We'll have to plan some- 
 thing we can get away with. 
 
 Lin. Right. We can't leave this town until after 
 dark. (Up c.) That's the trouble with these small 
 towns. Say, here comes a fellow and a girl — where will 
 we 
 
 Ham. The curtains 
 
 Lin. Sure ! 
 
 (They hide in curtains left and right of c. door. Jean 
 looks in c.) 
 
 Jean. Come in, Jack, For a wonder, there is no one 
 in here. 
 
 Enter Jean Morris atid Jack Huntley, r. 
 
 Huntley. Good. We'll have a chance to talk things 
 over. 
 
 Jean. Sit down. 
 
 Hunt. Thanks. (Takes a chair.) 
 
 Jean (sits opposite). Now what is it that has hap- 
 pened? 
 
 Hunt. I have a perfectly corking idea, if Miss Fen- 
 wick will let us carry it out. 
 
 Jean. What is it? Something about the show? 
 
 Hunt. Yes. I have an uncle who is a New York 
 manager, and I wrote and told him that we were going to 
 give a show for the Red Cross, and asked him if he could 
 
LINE BUSY 15 
 
 send us a manager for the rehearsal to-night and the show 
 to-morrow night, and some girl to do a specialty. 
 Jean. And what did he say ? 
 
 Enter Flos., l. 
 
 Flos. Oh, pardon me. 
 
 Jean. Did you want something? 
 
 Flos, {down c). Oh, no, nothing special. I was 
 looking for Marion. 
 
 Jean. Well, she isn't here. {Pause; Flos, looks at 
 Hunt.; Jean, disgusted, finally introduces her.) Miss 
 Grant, Mr. Huntley. 
 
 Hunt. Miss Grant. 
 
 Flos. Oh, I'm pleased to meet you. You belong to 
 the Benning School, don't you ? 
 
 Hunt. Yes. 
 
 Flos. Do you know Ted Hastings? 
 
 (Jean up stage to r.) 
 
 Hunt. Yes, a little Freshman. 
 
 Flos. Well, supposing he is. You were yourself 
 once, and I'll bet you weren't half as good looking. 
 
 Hunt. Thanks ! 
 
 Flos. It must be fun over to your school. Miss Fen- 
 wick is so fussy we hardly dare to look at the buildings 
 when we are going by, but, believe me, we'd like to go in 
 and visit a while. 
 
 Jean. Marion is right out here, Flossie. 
 
 Flos. Oh, is she? Thanks. [Exit, c. 
 
 Jean. Now tell me. What did your uncle say? 
 
 (Jean and Hunt, sit down.) 
 
 Hunt. He can send the people. A young director by 
 the name of Hamilton, and a girl by the name of Trixie 
 Tree. Wouldn't it be great? 
 
 (Mae. conies to tvindow with Flos. ; Mar. enters c.) 
 
 Jean. Wonderful, but — do you want anything, 
 Marion ? 
 
 Mar. Yes, my Latin. I left it in here. 
 
l6 LINE BUSY 
 
 Jean. Where ? 
 
 Mar. I don't know exactly. {Looks at Hunt.) 
 Jean. Miss Gooding, Mr. Huntley. (Jean rises.) 
 Hunt. Miss Gooding. 
 
 Mar. How do you do, Mr. Huntley. You played 
 football this year, didn't you ? 
 
 (Jean looks about for book; sees it on tea-table.') 
 
 Hunt. Yes. Tried to. 
 
 Mar. We used to go to the games and we were just 
 crazy about you. 
 
 Hunt. That was very kind, I'm sure. 
 
 Jean {finds book on table). Here is your Latin. 
 
 Mar. Thanks. I'm awfully glad to have met you, 
 Mr. Huntley. [Exit, c. 
 
 Hunt, {remains standing). Say, do you think Miss 
 Fenwick will let us have the people from New York ? 
 
 Jean. I don't know. {Sits down.) She's awfully 
 fussy. (Hunt, sits down.) We won't let her know the 
 name of the actress. 
 
 Hunt. Trixie Tree? 
 
 (Mar. a7td Flos, bring girls to c. They look in.) 
 
 Jean. Yes, that sounds — well — sounds — you know. 
 Hunt. Yes. Say, let me ask Miss Fenwick. I have 
 quite a way with the ladies. 
 Jean. You don't have to tell me that. 
 
 {Girls in door laugh'.) 
 
 Hunt, {disgusted; Hunt, and Jean jump to feet). 
 Say, isn't there any place where 
 
 Jean. No, there isn't. This is the only place where 
 we receive callers. 
 
 Hunt. Then let's go out in the garden. We can see 
 them coming and dodge. 
 
 Jean. All right. Anything is better than this. 
 
 {They exeunt, l. ; Lin. and Ham. come forward.) 
 Lin. {hand at throat; makes a face). Gosh! 
 
LINE BUSY 17 
 
 Ham. What's the matter with you? 
 
 Lin. I swallowed a moth. 
 
 Ham. Say, I know where we are. This is the Fen- 
 wick Hall School for Girls. 
 
 Lin. You bet it is. One of those places where girls 
 are finished. Where you get higher education. Gee, I 
 was never in one before. 
 
 Ham. H'm ! You didn't need to tell me. How do 
 you know anything about Fen wick Hall ! 
 
 Lin. I know Dickie Fenwick, and I know all about 
 his old aunt that he has never seen, who is running a 
 school in order to get a million for herself and another 
 for Dickie. Had a nut of an uncle who made a freak 
 will. 
 
 Ham. {sits on table) . Well, Fm going to remain here 
 and I know how Fm going to do it. 
 
 Lin. (crosses to Ham.). Fm with you. I also know 
 how I am going to do it. Fm going to get next to the 
 old lady. 
 
 Ham, Wait until you see the old lady. 
 
 Lin. Oh, leave it to me. I have a way of my own. 
 Now, Fm going out, so I can come in properly. 
 
 Ham. All right. Go ahead. After a few minutes, 
 Fll do the same thing. Now, we're in this mess together, 
 Linden, and we're going to hold together until the end ! 
 
 Lin. (shakes hands). Put it there! I'm right with 
 you. I believe Fm going to like you after all. 
 
 Ham. Thanks. 
 
 (Lin. exits, c. Ham. steps behind curtain. Mag. 
 and Olive enter r.) 
 
 Olive (as she enters). Will you please walk on your 
 own feet, 'Nolia? 
 
 Mag. (pointing). Oh, Mamma, look at Uncle Parker 
 in the curtain. 
 
 Olive. Look at what? 
 
 Mag.> Uncle Parker. He looked awful funny. Here 
 he is. (Runs to curtain and pulls Ham. out.) 
 
 Olive. Parker Hamilton — well, I must say. 
 
 Ham. How do you do,^ Olive? (Down stage.) 
 
l8 LINE BUSY 
 
 Olive. What — what are you doing in that curtain? 
 
 Ham. Oh — er — playing hide-and-seek with 'Noha. 
 
 Olive. Parker Hamilton, don't perjure your soul. 
 What are you doing in this school for girls? Have you 
 forgotten you are engaged to my sister, the sweetest, 
 fairest, dearest girl that ever lived? 
 
 Ham. Do you think I could forget? Why, Olive, 
 Miriam is never out of my thoughts for one little minute. 
 To prove it I have just been looking at an aluminum 
 cooking set that I am going to buy for her, 
 
 Olive. I bet it was a cooking set. Trust a man to 
 think of his stomach. 
 
 Ham. Olive, I am here on a matter of business. I 
 must ask you not to let any one know that you ever saw 
 me before. 
 
 Olive. I knew it. I knew there was something 
 strange about it. A man doesn't wrap himself up in a 
 curtain for nothing. 
 
 Ham. Well, of course, you will have to think what- 
 ever you like, but I can't allow you to interfere with my 
 business. 
 
 Olive. What a convenient excuse a man finds busi- 
 ness to be. How long do you expect to remain here ? 
 
 Ham. Probably over night. 
 
 Olive. Then I remain also. (Sits dozvn.) 
 
 Ham. I beg of you don't change your plans on my 
 account. 
 
 Olive. I was going within the hour, but now I stay. 
 I have my sister's future to think of. 'Nolia, will you 
 stand on your own feet? 
 
 Ham. Well, stay if you like. But at least do as I 
 ask. Don't let on that you know me. 
 
 Olive. Very well. But I have my eyes on you, 
 Parker Hamilton, and they are wide open. 
 
 Ham. And, 'Nolia, what about you? (Picks tip 
 Mag. and places her up on chair.) What can I give you 
 not to tell folks that I am your uncle ? A talking doll or 
 something ? 
 
 Mag. When do I get it ? 
 
 Ham. Oh, after we get home again. 
 
 Mag. H'm. I'll take fifty cents — now.:, 
 
LINE BUSY 19 
 
 Ham. All right. (Gives her money.) 
 
 Olive. That it should come to this! Isn't there a 
 man to be trusted? My poor little sister. About to 
 marry a man who will bribe a child, and hide himself in 
 a curtain. This is terrible, terrible! (Conies to C.) 
 Come, 'Nolia, and walk on your own feet, please. 
 
 (Exit, L. ; Ham., c. Enter Helen Burns mid Anita 
 Shirley.) 
 
 Helen (turns and looks on table). Thank goodness, 
 that's over. It's no fun making up back work. 
 
 Anita. Miss Fenwick is a terror. She wouldn't care 
 if we dropped in the door from mental exhaustion. 
 
 (Signs theme. Muriel Collins hurries in l.) 
 Muriel. Oh, girls, have you seen an evening paper? 
 (Waves a nezvspaper.) 
 
 Girls. No. 
 
 Muriel. It's in. All about the Lovell House robbery. 
 All the valuable things that were stolen. 
 
 Anita. Well, why do you get so excited about it? 
 No one saw us. 
 
 Muriel. Some one saw me. 
 
 Helen. There did ! Who was it? 
 
 Muriel. How should I know? One of the burglars, 
 I suppose, although I must say he didn't look it. I met 
 him right face to face. 
 
 Helen. What did he do? 
 
 Muriel. Winked at me and said — " Mum on your 
 life, dearie." 
 
 Anita. Well, of all the nerve ! 
 
 Enter, c, Gladys Symonds and Frances Rose. 
 
 Gladys. Oh, girls, you never can think what's hap- 
 pened — tee hee— tee hee 
 
 Frances. It's — p-p-pp — p-p 
 
 Gladys. I've laughed and laughed. 
 Fran, Y-Y-Y-Yes, she thinks it's funny. 
 
20 LINE BUSY 
 
 Gladys. Well, it is, a perfect scream. 
 
 Helen. What is? 
 
 Fran. A p-p-p-p-p — — 
 
 Gladys. Aren't we telling you ? Tee-hee-hee. 
 
 Anita. Well, not so you'd notice it. 
 
 Muriel. What is it, Gladys? What has happened? 
 
 Gladys. Well, you know that awful funny old jigger 
 that Helen found in the tree? 
 
 Girls. Yes. 
 
 Gladys. Well, it — tee-hee-hee. 
 
 Fran. It was s-s-s-stolen from the L-L-L-L-Lovell 
 House. 
 
 Gladys. It's a family heirloom, and it's worth — tee- 
 hee-hee — five thousand dollars. Isn't it killing? 
 
 {Removes hat; sits doiun.) 
 
 Anita. Well, why is it? (Rises.) 
 
 Muriel. I should think it was serious. Think what 
 Helen has In her possession. 
 
 Helen. I haven't got it. (Anita iip stage slowly.) 
 
 All. You haven't? 
 
 Fran. Where is it? 
 
 Helen. I saw Lovell House engraved on it and I 
 didn't suppose it was worth anything and I didn't want 
 any Lovell House things in my room, so I carried it up in 
 the boat-house and threw it out of the window. 
 
 Girls. Helen! (Anita up to c.) 
 
 Fran. M-M-M-Mercy ! 
 
 Gladys. Tee-hee-hee. I shall die. I know I shall. 
 
 Anita (turns from c). Do you think it's funny? 
 Funny that Helen has thrown away into the river some- 
 thing valued at five thousand dollars ? 
 
 Helen. For goodness' sakes, don't talk so loud. 
 
 Enter Snow. 
 
 Snow. Young ladies, I done come in to warn you all. 
 De p'leeceman has been here. He's gwine arrest half de 
 young ladies in de school. He tole me so hisself. 
 
 [Exit, L. 
 
LINE BUSY 21 
 
 Girls. Merciful Heaven ! 
 
 Fran. He's found out. 
 
 Gladys. I bet he has. Isn't it comical? 
 
 (Anita turns to c.) 
 
 Helen. I'm glad you think so. 
 
 Muriel. Wasn't it the limit we happened to be in 
 that house that night ? 
 
 Anita. Here comes Jean. Be careful. Remember, 
 she wasn't with us. (Anita down l. ; Jean enters l.) 
 
 Jean. Girls, I've been looking^ everywhere for you. 
 Jack Huntley is over and he wants to send up to New 
 York for a manager for the show, and some actresses, — 
 real ones, you know, professionals. 
 
 Anita. Wouldn't that be great ? 
 
 Fran. L-L-L-Lovely. 
 
 Gladys. A perfect scream. I know I should die. 
 
 Helen. It would make the show just like the real 
 stage, wouldn't it? 
 
 Jean. But will Miss Fenwick let us do it ? 
 
 Muriel. I don't believe so. 
 
 Fran. W-W-Why wouldn't she? 
 
 Gladys. Oh, she hasn't any sense of humor, 
 
 Jean. Come on out and see Jack. He'll tell you all 
 about it. He is out in the sun-house. He was in here 
 but you couldn't drag him in again. [Exeunt, c. 
 
 Enter Lor., r. Snow, enters, l. 
 
 Snow. Dey's a young man out here to see you all, 
 Miss Fenwick. 
 
 Lor. a young man ? 
 
 Snow. Yas'm. Real kind o' funny little fellah ! I 
 guess maybe he's made a mistake in de school. Probably 
 he all t'inks dis am Benning. 
 
 Lor. (by table). Show him in. 
 
 §Now. Yas'm. (Exit, l. Enter with Lin.) Here 
 he am. 
 
 LoR. You may go. Snowball. (Exit S^o'w.,l.) You 
 wish to see me? 
 
 Lin. No, I want to see Miss Fenwick. 
 
22 LIME fiUSy 
 
 Lor. I am Miss Fenwick. {Both keep c.) 
 
 Lin. Ye gods ! 
 
 Lor. What's the trouble? Who are you? 
 
 Lin. I was overcome. I am your nephew, Richard 
 Fenwick. 
 
 LoR. You are my nephew ? Why, what a surprise. 
 
 Lin. Yes, isn't it, but I can stand it if you can, 
 
 LoR. Of course I can. {Shakes hands.) And you 
 are really John's son? You don't look very much like 
 your photograph. How did you happen to come? 
 
 Lin. I overstudied and the doctor advised a little 
 trip. I have wanted to see you for so long. Auntie, and 
 this was such an opportunity. 
 
 LoR. I'm glad you could come, Richard. {Sits down.) 
 How is Mr. Melnee? 
 
 Lin. Oh, very well, very well, indeed. Plays golf 
 every day, and 
 
 LoR. Why, how can he when he only has one arm? 
 
 Lin. Oh, oh — er, he's had an artificial one, one of the 
 new ones; works great. 
 
 LoR. Why, isn't that splendid? 
 
 Lin. Yes, he's enjoying it very much. 
 
 Enter Snow., l. 
 
 Snow. Miss Fenwick, Mr. Stokes am calling again. 
 
 Lor. Very well, I'll come at once. 
 
 Snow. Yas'm. [Exit. 
 
 Lor. You will have to excuse me, Richard. {Up c.) 
 It is most important that I should see this man. Per- 
 haps you enjoy tennis? {Walks l. ; Lin. follows.) 
 Tell the girls you are my nephew. They will be de- 
 lighted to entertain you. I will see you later. [Exit, l. 
 
 {As Lin. is about to exit, Muriel enters c.) 
 Muriel. You 
 
 Lin. Glory be ! The little girl I met on the stairs in 
 the Lovell House the night of the fracas. 
 
 Muriel. Oh, what are you doing here? 
 
 Lin. Now, don't get all agitated up like that. I'm 
 Miss Fenwick's nephew. 
 
 f 
 J 
 
LINE BUSY 23 
 
 Muriel. You are? 
 
 LiN. Yes. Now, of course, I know it was an acci- 
 dent you were there and you know it was an accident I 
 was there. Nothing to be alarmed about. Now just take 
 me out to the tennis court and in live minutes I'll make 
 you forget all about the other night. 
 
 Muriel. Well, of course, I suppose Miss Fenwick 
 would wish 
 
 Lin. Sure. She said to have the girls entertain me. 
 
 Muriel. Very well. [Exeunt, c. 
 
 Enter Stokes and Lor., l. 
 
 Lor. Sit down, Mr. Stokes, 
 
 Stokes (takes a chair dozvn l.). Thanks. By 
 crickey ! I always feel like laughing when I look at you. 
 
 Lor. (sits back of table). That's odd. I always feel 
 like laughing when I look at you. 
 
 Sto-kes. Oh, is that so? Well, you won't feel so 
 funny when I tell you what I come for. I suppose you 
 heard about the robbery over to the old Lovell House the 
 other night ? 
 
 Lor. The papers are full of it. 
 
 Stokes. Well, when I went in there that night, the 
 place was swarming with girls. 
 
 Lor. And of course they were my girls. 
 
 Stokes. Well, who else would they be? They ain't 
 no other place around here where girls travel in bunches. 
 
 Lor. What do you think my girls would be doing in 
 that house? 
 
 Stokes. Gosh all cabbage heads, I don't know, but 
 they wuz there, big uns and little uns. 
 
 Lor. Did you recognize any one? 
 
 Stokes. No, I don't know one of your crowd from 
 another. One had on a black and white plaid coat. Only 
 thing I noticed. 
 
 LoR. And I suppose you are going to suggest that my 
 girls stole the silver, and so forth? 
 
 Stokes. Wal, I got this much evidence. They was 
 an old sistrum taken. 
 
24 LINE BUSY 
 
 Lor. a what? 
 
 Stokes. A sistrum. A family heirloom worth five 
 thousand dollars — a fool thing that jingles when you 
 shake it — used to be used to worship some heathen god. 
 Last night I was rowing down stream and, by cricky, a 
 girl leaned out of your boat-house window and threw the 
 durned thing out. 
 
 LoR. Threw the sistrum out the boat-house window? 
 
 Stokes. Gosh all onion beds, yes. Right into my 
 arms. Course she didn't notice me down there. She in- 
 tended to throw it into the river. 
 
 Lor. You are sure it was a girl? 
 
 Stokes. Wal, I reckon. The moon was shining and 
 I see her plain as day. 
 
 Lor. Would you recognize her? 
 
 Stokes. I reckon not, but she had on a black and 
 white plaid coat. 
 
 LoR. I see. Well, what are you going to do? 
 
 Stokes. Wal, I suppose I ought ter arrest — the — 
 er 
 
 LoR. The black and white coat? Mr. Stokes, sup- 
 posing you let me make a little investigation before you 
 do anything. 
 
 Stokes. Now if you think you are going to shield 
 
 LoR. Shield no one, Mr. Stokes. That isn't my idea 
 at all. I don't want my girls mixed up in affairs of this 
 kind, and if I find it is likely they have been, I'll give you 
 every opportunity to arrest them. 
 
 Stokes. Wal, I swan ! I wouldn't o' believed it. 
 Say, this is an unusual household. Lve met an honest 
 woman in it and now I've met a sensible one. 
 
 Lor. {lip R. ). Oh, thank you. (Rings bell. Mag. 
 enters l.) Now you leave this to me for a while, and I 
 will telephone to you as soon as I have a chance to look 
 into this a little. 
 
 Stokes. All right. (Rises.) Miss Fenwick, I'll trust 
 ye. I don't usually trust wimmen as far as I could heave 
 a cat, but gosh all potato sprouts, there seem to be a new 
 variety in this house. 
 
 Mag. Ain't he awfully funny looking, Miss Fenwick ? 
 
 LoR. Magnolia. 
 
LINE BUSY 45 
 
 Enter Jan., l. 
 
 Jan. Did you ring for me, Miss Fenwick? 
 
 Lor. Yes, Miss Reece. Call together as many of the 
 juniors and seniors as you can find. Tell them I wish to 
 see them in this room at once. 
 
 Jan. Very well. I think I will find the most of them 
 out-of-doors. {Turns c.) 
 
 Stokes. Wait a minute. I'm just a-going. I'll walk 
 along with you. See you later, Miss Fenwick. [Exit, c. 
 
 Enter Snow., l. 
 
 Snow. Miss Fenwick, there am another young man 
 calling to see you. You alls having powerful lot of 
 callers this afternoon, an' most all de same kind. 
 
 LoR. So it seems. Show him in. 
 
 Snow. Yas'm. {Exit, r. Enters follozved by Rich- 
 ard Fenwick.) Here he am. 
 
 LoR. You wish to see me ? You may go, Snowball. 
 
 (Snow exits, l.) 
 
 Fenwick. You never can guess who I am. I am 
 your nephew, Richard Fenwick. 
 
 Lor. My nephew? Richard Fenwick? 
 
 Fen. That's what ! Of course mou are surprised. 
 
 Lor. I certainly am. 
 
 Fen. But, I hope you are glad to see me. 
 
 Lor. Certainly, my dear boy, perfectly delighted. Sit 
 right down and tell me how you happened to come. 
 
 (Lor. up R. ; Fen. down l.) 
 
 Fen. Well, Mr. Melnee isn't feeling well. 
 
 Lor. Oh, he isn't ? Why, I heard he was playing golf 
 every day. 
 
 Fen. Why, Aunt Lorraine, he hasn't but one arm. I 
 thought you knew. 
 
 LoR. Yes, I thought I did. Well, go on. 
 
 Fen. There isn't much to tell. He said he'd like to 
 have a little vacation from me for a while, so I told him 
 
26 ui5e busy 
 
 I'd make you a little visit. I thought it would be a good 
 iHpa for us to become acquainted. 
 
 Lor a, excellent one. It's the oddest Uimg that you 
 happened to come to-day. Your cousm R.chard came 
 
 '"l^eV^ Mfc"ou1i:'°Richard? I didn't know I had a 
 cousin Richard. What is his other name? 
 
 Lor. Fenwick. _. , , _ ... 
 
 Fen Tust the same as mine? Richard Fenwick! 
 
 Lor." Well, that's what he says, and he ought to know, 
 
 ^Fen. Why, I suppose so, but it seems odd. Whose— 
 whose son is he ? 
 
 LoR. Your Uncle Tom's son. 
 
 Fen. Oh ! Well, I don't know so very much about 
 
 '^Lor'^So I perceive. (Rises^) You'll excuse rn^' 
 ril find your cousin Richard and we'll try to get better 
 
 acquamted^ shall be glad to meet him (Looks after 
 her-lo^. exits, l. Lin enters, c.) Why, Ross Lmden, 
 
 "L;N*li:kS~5ickie Fenwick! Oh, ye gods. 
 
 Have— have you seen your aunt? ^ 
 
 Fen Why, yes, I was just talking with her. 
 LiN.' Oh,hel-lup. Did-did she seem surprised? 
 Fen. Wdl, naturally. Of course she wasn t expect- 
 
 ing me. ^ 
 
 Lin. You bet she wasn t. 
 
 Fen. Say, what's the matter with you.'' 
 
 Lin. Did she accept you? 
 
 Fen. Accept me? , , -> 
 
 Lin. Yes. Did she believe you were her nephew .'' 
 
 Ffn Of course. Why wouldn't she? ^ 
 
 Lin.' Well, you see, you had already arrived once, 
 
 and I didn't know. _ . , -, oi 
 
 Fen. You mean my cousin, Richard Fenwick? She 
 
 told me he was here. 
 
 Lin Have you a cousin Richard .-* 
 
 Fen. Seems I have. I never heard of him until Aunt 
 Lorraine mentioned him. 
 
LINE BUSY 27 
 
 Lin. Oh, this way out. 
 
 Fen. Say, what's the matter with you? 
 
 Lin. I'll have to confess, Dickie. I'm that cousin. 
 
 Fen. You ? 
 
 Lin. I was in an awful hole, Dickie. 
 
 Fen. I never saw you when you weren't. 
 
 Lin. The police were hot on my heels. I came in 
 here for refuge, and found out where I was. I thought 
 it wouldn't do any harm just until night, so I told Miss 
 Fenwick I was you. 
 
 Fen. How dare you do a thing like that? 
 
 Lin. Have a heart, Dickie. The situation was des- 
 perate. You're no tin god on wheels. You've been in 
 scrapes yourself. 
 
 Fen. {turns away). Yes, I have. But I didn't use 
 your name to pull myself out of them. 
 
 Lin. You would have been welcome to my name. If 
 I do say it, there isn't a selfish bone in my make-up. 
 
 Fen. But I don't stand alone in this. Do you think 
 I'll let you put this over on my aunt ? ( One step to Lin. ) 
 
 Lin. Well, Dickie, how are you going to get around 
 it? She never saw you before, did she? 
 
 Fen. No. 
 
 Lin. {dewn r. to table; leans on table). Then, she's 
 quite likely to think you are the one who is putting it 
 over. 
 
 Fen. {to R.). Good Lord! I never thought of that. 
 Say, I'd like — I'd like — oh, there aren't words to express 
 it. Say, you'll stand right up to my aunt and tell her the 
 truth. 
 
 Lin. Not this afternoon, Dickie. I'm safe, and I'll 
 remain safe, thank you. Confessions aren't coming un- 
 til it's dark enough to make an escape from this village. 
 Say, how do you know you haven't a cousin Richard ? 
 
 Fen. I don't know, but it's so unlikely. I think she 
 made it up until she had a chance to investigate. 
 
 Lin. {a step toward Fen.). Well, let her investigate 
 for a while. Come on. That's a good fellow. Just a 
 few hours won't make any difference now. You're sure 
 to come out on top. She said I didn't look like my photo- 
 graph and of course you do. 
 
28 LINE BUSY 
 
 Fen. Photograph? I haven't had one since I was 
 three years old. 
 
 Lin. That's all right. You haven't changed any. 
 Fen. {both down r.). Say, I'd like to 
 
 (Starts for him.) 
 
 Lin. Hold on. You're awfully fussy to-day. 
 
 Fen. (crosses to l.). Fussy! I guess you would be 
 if there was a million dollars involved. (Turns.) My 
 aunt is doing this thing for me and she could give it up 
 any minute if she chose. 
 
 Lin. (at table). Give it up. When there's a million 
 in it for her. Don't make me laugh. 
 
 Fen. (l. to c). She had some money of her own. 
 She was a society girl and a lively one at that. This idea 
 didn't appeal to her for a minute. She told Mr. Melnee 
 she was doing it just for me. 
 
 Lin. Isn't that touching? (Steps to Fen.) Say, 
 Dickie, help me out with this until night and then I'll get 
 down on my knees to her and confess. Come on. You 
 know I always keep my word. Be a good sport. 
 
 Fen. I am an awful fool to listen to vou for a minute. 
 But, darn it, you always get around >ne, ?nd 
 
 Lin. Sh! Cheese it. (Fen. down j 
 
 Enter Lor., l.^ 
 
 Lor. Oh, you are here? Both of you. Have you in- 
 troduced yourselves? 
 
 Lin. Yes, yes, indeed. We are already very fond of 
 each other. 
 
 LoR. It is so perfectly wonderful that you happened 
 to arrive — well, almost together? 
 
 (Lin. steps to r. ; Fen. steps to Lor., l.) 
 
 Lin. Isn't it? 
 LoR. How shall I call you? 
 
 Lin. Oh, ring the bell or just whistle. It's all the 
 same to me. I'll come. (Dapvn r.) 
 
LINE BUSY 29 
 
 Lor. No, no ! I mean you have the same name. One 
 of you will have to change. 
 
 Fen. I will continue Richard, thank you. 
 
 Lin. Yes, don't disturb his dignity. You can call me 
 anything you like. I'm not sensitive. 
 
 Lor. Dick, then, or better still, Dickie. 
 
 {Up R., rings hell.) 
 Lin. Oh, boy. Won't that be cute? 
 
 {Laughs at Fen. Fen. mad; shakes fist.) 
 
 LoR. Oh, it's lovely to have both of you here. You 
 look like such perfectly dear boys. I know we're going 
 to have such a happy time together. 
 
 Lin. No question about that. We're going to have 
 a whale of a time ! 
 
 Enter Snow., l. 
 
 Lor. Snowball, these young men are my nephews. 
 Take them up to the guest rooms in the east wing. Did 
 you bring your things with you? 
 
 Fen. I did. 
 
 Lor. And Dickie? 
 
 Lin. Oh, I left mine at the station. 
 
 Lor. Tell John to go to the station for Mr. Fen- 
 wick's — what have you — a trunk? 
 
 Lin. Oh, dear me, no. Just a case — a very small 
 case. I beg of you not to trouble about it. 
 
 Lor. Oh, no trouble at all. That is what John is 
 hired for. Snowball, do everything possible for the com- 
 fort of my nephews. 
 
 Snow, (smiles at them). Yas'm, I'll be right pleased 
 to. Come right this way, gentlemen. [Exeunt, l. 
 
 Lor. (goes to telephone). Benning 27 — Mr. Stokes 
 there? This is Miss Fenwick of Fenwick Hall. Please 
 tell Mr. Stokes to come over just as soon as he gets in. 
 Yes. Good-bye. [Exit, l. 
 
 (Agnes, Marie, Marion, Ada, Phyllis, Flossie and 
 Stella enter c.) 
 
30 LINE BUSY 
 
 Agnes (to table). Now for it! 
 
 Marie. I'm so scared. We never can fool Miss 
 Fenwick. 
 
 Mar. Cheerful cherub, we'll make a try ! 
 
 Phyl. Are you sure you know what you are going 
 to say, Stella? 
 
 Stel. I — I guess so. 
 
 Flos. Just keep your nerve. Don't get stage fright. 
 
 Stel. That's easy enough to say. I wish you had to 
 do it. 
 
 (Crosses to l. and sits; Marie back of chair. Helen, 
 Frances, Muriel, Gladys and Anita enter c.) 
 
 Helen. Goodness! The juniors! 
 Fran. W-W-What are y-y-you doing here I 
 Mar. What are you doing yourselves? 
 Muriel. Miss Fenwick sent for us. 
 Ada. She sent for us. 
 Anita. What for? 
 Girls. How should we know ? 
 
 Gladys. You don't suppose they — oh, it couldn't be, 
 could it ? Wouldn't it be a scream ? 
 
 Enter Jean, c. 
 
 Jean. Girls, what has happened? Why does Miss 
 Fenwick want us? 
 
 Gladys. What a silly question! 
 
 Helen. Do you think we are mind readers? 
 
 Muriel. I suppose we are about to listen to a lecture 
 on the impropriety of something or other. 
 
 Jean. Well, surely some one has an idea what the 
 something or other is. 
 
 Anita. Not I ! . \ 
 
 All. Nor I! 
 
 Jean (ca//.?). Jack! Jack! Come on in! 
 
 Fran. G-G-G-Goodness, Jean, we d-d-d-don't want : 
 him in here. 
 
 Jean. ,Yes, we do. He'll make Miss Fenwick forget ; 
 >vhat she wants us for. / 
 
LINE BUSY 31, 
 
 Helen. I wish I thought so. 
 
 Enter Lor., l. Hunt, enters, c. 
 
 Lor. Young ladies ! ( Girls rise. ) 
 
 Jean. Miss Fenwick, here is Jack Huntley. He 
 wants to ask you something about the show. 
 
 Lor. Yes, Mr. Huntley? 
 
 Hunt. It's — it's just this, Miss Fenwick. Would you 
 object to our having a professional manager down from 
 New York for the rehearsal to-night and the show to- 
 morrow? And an actress to do a little turn — that is, I 
 mean a special number, you know? 
 
 Lor. Well, I don't know. When you asked me for 
 the girls in the beginning, it was to be scenes from Shake- 
 speare. (Ham. enters; Anita to Ham.) It has de- 
 veloped into anything but Shakespeare, and I'm afraid 
 before you get through you will be taking the girls to 
 New York and hiring a theatre to present them in. 
 
 Anita {sees Ham.). Miss Fenwick! (Lor. turns.) 
 
 Ham. (steps forward as Lor. turns). Pardon me. I 
 must have come to the wrong entrance. My name is 
 Hamilton. I have been sent down from New York to 
 act as manager for a little show you are giving. 
 
 Gladys. Did you ever? {Giggles.) 
 
 Lor. I didn't understand, Mr. Huntley, that you had 
 sent for the manager. 
 
 Hunt. I didn't. There is some mistake. Who sent 
 you? 
 
 Ham. If you are Jack Huntley, it was your uncle. 
 
 Hunt. Why, I'm sorry. Miss Fenwick. I just asked 
 my uncle if he could send some one. What shall we do? 
 
 Lor. Have Mr. Hamilton stay, of course. We can't 
 send him back to New York. Will you take him over to 
 Benning? I have unexpected company myself, and I'm 
 afraid 
 
 Ham. Oh, that's all right. I don't want to trouble 
 any one. 
 
 Hunt. No trouble. We'll go over to my school and 
 come back here to-night. 
 
 Ha>.:. Just as you say. (Ham. exits, r.) 
 
21 LINE BUSV 
 
 Hunt. Miss Fenwick, I'm mighty sorry. I am afraid 
 you think I sent for him. 
 
 Lor. He is here, Mr. Huntley. What I think doesn't 
 count now. (Crosses to r. ; Hunt, exits c. Jean speaks 
 to Hunt. Lor. sits back of table.) Make yourselves 
 comfortable, young ladies. (All sit down.) This may 
 have to be long and tiresome. I have many questions to 
 ask. Phyllis, what were you doing this afternoon in the 
 tree at the foot of the garden ? 
 
 Phyl. (steps forward). L — er — looking for cherries. 
 
 Lor. In an oak tree? 
 
 Phyl. I meant acorns. 
 
 Lor. In the springtime? 
 
 Phyl. I mean looking to see if there were going to 
 be any. 
 
 Lor. Did you find out ? 
 
 Phyl. No, Miss Fenwick. 
 
 LoR. Too bad, after you went to the trouble of climb- 
 ing the tree. Miss Rose, who was the young man who 
 brought you up from the village in his auto yesterday 
 afternoon ? 
 
 Fran. I h-h-h-haven't the 1-1-least idea. 
 
 Lor. a stranger to you ? 
 
 Fran. N-N-Not now. 
 
 LoR. How did you happen to be riding with a young 
 man you didn't know? 
 
 Fran. W-W-Why, he w-was coming my way and he 
 s-s-said he'd 1-love to bring me, it was such f-f-fun to 
 hear me t-t-talk. 
 
 LoR. Why didn't he bring you to the house? Why 
 did he leave you in Maple Lane ? 
 
 Fran. Oh, that wasn't his fault. I t-t-thought the 
 young girls might s-s-see m-me and the example wouldn't 
 be g-g-good. 
 
 Lor. Very considerate of you. The juniors had a 
 permit to go to the village Monday evening to do some 
 errands. How did it happen you were so late in return- 
 ing? 
 
 (Juniors look at Stel. ; she hesitates, rises, steps 
 forward, embarrassed.) 
 
Line busy 33 
 
 Stel. We had some extra errands, Miss Fenwick. 
 
 Lor. Yes, you might tell me about it. 
 
 Stel. Well, the cook wanted some hairpins for 
 breakfast. She found she was out. The grocer didn't 
 bring any. And we had to get an umbrella for Miss 
 Reecc because she is overworked, and some complexion 
 cream for Snowball, she thinks that she is getting pale, 
 and we had to call at Mrs. Mason's for the gardener's 
 wife. She lent Mrs. Mason a package of cereal because 
 it was going to rain. 
 
 LoR. A splendid recitation, Stella. The seniors also 
 were out Monday evening. I trust your excuse for com- 
 ing late is equally good. 
 
 Helen. Oh, we were just out walking. Miss Fenwick, 
 
 LoR. Yes, and what else did you do? 
 
 Anita. Nothing, we just walked. 
 
 Muriel. And walked. 
 
 Gladys. And walked. 
 
 Fran. And w-w-w-walked. 
 
 Lor. Indeed? Must have been a real exciting even- 
 ing. And did you walk, Miss Morris? 
 
 Jean. No, Miss Fenwick. 
 
 Lor. You were ovit. What did you do, ride, fly or 
 swim ? 
 
 Jean. Oh, I walked, but not the same as the other 
 girls. 
 
 LoR. Explain, or you might even illustrate. Might 
 be interesting to see. Did you go backwards or sideways, 
 or possibly you were on stilts ? 
 
 Jean. I meant I wasn't with the other girls. 
 
 LoR. Alone? 
 
 Jean. No, Miss Fenwick. 
 
 Lor. Who was with you? 
 
 Jean. I can't tell you. 
 
 Lor. Where did you go? 
 
 Jean. I'm sorry, I can't tell you that either. 
 
 LoR. Did you have on your black and white plaid 
 coat? 
 
 Jean. Yc?, I did. 
 
 Lor. That coat. Miss Morris, was seen in the Lovell 
 House Monday night. 
 
34 LINE BUSY 
 
 Jean. Why, how could it have been ? 
 Lor. That is what I should like to know. 
 Jean. Miss Fenwick, you can't think 
 
 {Jumps to her feet and walks to c.) 
 
 LoR. Just a minute. Young ladies, a sistrum was 
 stolen from the Lovell House 
 
 Gladys. Why, how ridiculous. How could any one 
 steal a cistern? 
 
 LoR. I said a sistrum. 
 
 Anita. What on earth is that? 
 
 LoR. No one knows? 
 
 Jean. Why, yes, a funny thing that looks something 
 like a rattle — used in the olden days to worship a heathen 
 god. 
 
 LoR. How do you know ? 
 
 Jean. Why — I — I — looked it up. 
 
 LoR. Why? 
 
 Jean. I was interested, 
 
 LoR. Why ? 
 
 Jean. I can't tell you. 
 
 LoR. Seems to be a good deal you don't care to re- 
 veal. Miss Morris. This sistrum was worth five thousand 
 dollars. Last night it was thrown out our boat-house 
 window by a girl who was wearing a black and white 
 plaid coat. Monday evening the Lovell House was 
 swarming with girls, both large and small. Where would 
 they come from if not from this school? As it happens, 
 Miss Morris, you are the only girl in the school who 
 wears a black and white coat, and it seems the only one 
 who is well informed on the subject of sistrums. 
 
 Jean. Miss Fenwick, do you think I stole the Lovell 
 House sistrum? 
 
 LoR. Fm not ready to say what I think. You girls 
 had better talk this thing over together. I would 
 strongly advise you to come forward with the truth. If 
 you are concealing any more Lovell House property 
 around my house, I wish you would take a less dramatic 
 way of disposing of it. 
 
LINE BUSY 35 
 
 Helen. Where — where is the what-you-call-it now? 
 
 Lor. Where is it Hkely to be after it has been thrown 
 into the river? 
 
 Muriel. Isn't this awful just as we are having the 
 show to-morrow night? 
 
 LoR. Don't worry about the show, I don't beheve 
 there will be any. 
 
 Fran. W-W-W-Why n-n-not ? 
 
 LoR. I think you are all likely to be in jail by to- 
 morrow night. 
 
 Girls. Miss Fenwick! 
 
 Gladys. My land ! Wouldn't it be comical ? 
 
 Lor. I hope you will tind it so. That is all. You 
 may go. 
 
 (Girls exeunt, r., c. and l. ; slight pause; Stokes 
 enters c.) 
 
 Stokes (ivalks dozvn stage r.). Miss Fenwick, you 
 sent for me ? 
 
 Enter Lin. and Fen., l. ; stand just inside the door un- 
 noticed by LoR. and Stokes. 
 
 Lor. Yes, I did, Mr. Stokes. I want you to stay right 
 here in this house for a while. 
 
 Stokes (stands by table). What's the matter? 
 
 LoR. Well, first, I think my girls are concerned in the 
 Lovell House affair. I don't know how or why, but you 
 go right ahead and find out. Second, there are two 
 young men in the house that I wish you to keep an eye 
 on every minute. Don't let them out of sight. 
 
 Stokes. What they up to? 
 
 LoR. I don't know. I want you to find out. I have 
 a nephew, Richard Fenwick, whom I have never seen. 
 These young men arrived this afternoon and each claims 
 that he is my nephew. 
 
 Stokes. I see. One is your nephew and the other 
 ben't, and you want me to find out which is which. 
 
^6 LINE BUSY 
 
 Lor. No't at all. I want you to find out what they are 
 here for. They are both impostors. Neither of them is 
 the slightest relation to me. 
 
 (Fen. starts to step forward to protest. Lin. holds 
 him back.) 
 
 CURTAIN 
 
ACT II 
 
 SCENE. — The same; evening. 
 
 (Stokes sits at table, r., at telephone. Ham. stands in 
 curtain, l., and looks out from time to time.) 
 
 Stokes. Hello ! Hello ! What's that ? Line's busy ? 
 Wal, gosh all pumpkin seeds, tell 'em to git off an' giv' 
 some one else a chance. That line's been busy for the 
 last half hour ! 
 
 Enter Snow., l. 
 
 Snow. Mr. Stokes! 
 
 Stokes {rising and walking c). That's my name. 
 Snow. Yo' all's a p'leeceman ? 
 Stokes. That's what ! 
 
 Snow. Some one's done stole mah best coat an' 1 
 wants yo' all to see 'bout it. 
 
 Stokes. What kind of a coat ? Where'd they take it ? 
 
 {Turns to telephone.) 
 
 Snow. It's a black an' white plaid coat an' — '■ — 
 
 Stokes {turns to Snow.). Eh? What's that? 
 
 Snow. I done said it was a black and white coat, an' 
 I ain't laid mah eyes on it since last Monday afthernoon. 
 
 Stokes. Where was it took from? 
 
 Snow. Right out mah room. Ain' dat scan'lous? 
 Who all yo' s'pose could 'a' done it? 
 
 Stokes. How about some of the gals round this 
 house? 
 
 Snow, {scornfully). Now ain't dat foolish? But I 
 reckon it's 'bout as well as I could expect of a p'leeceman 
 out in a place like dis. De young ladies has got seben 
 coats to mah one. What would they all be doin' with 
 mine? 
 
 37 
 
38 LINE BUSY 
 
 Stokes. I reckon it's hard to tell, but they might be 
 doin' most anything 'cording to my thinking. Wal, I'll 
 look into it fer yer. {Goes to telephone.) 
 
 Snow. I'll ho. right pleased to hab yo'. Rastus John- 
 son like me in dat coat 'bout de best of anything I got. 
 
 (Down L.) 
 
 vStokes (takes up receiver). Gosh all potato bugs! 
 This line's busy now ! 
 
 (Slams receiver into hook; exits l. Snow, turns to 
 look after him; Ham. walks forward.) 
 
 Ham. Good-evening, little Snowdrop ! 
 
 Snow, (with dignity). Mali name's Snowball. 
 
 Ham. Ah, but I come mighty near. I'm a good little 
 guesser, Miss Snowball. 
 
 Snow. I'se a pretty good one mahself, Mr. Highball. 
 
 Ham. Bright as a Lincoln penny ! 
 
 Snow, (looking him over). Dull as de Washin'ton 
 monument ! 
 
 Ham. H'm! Maybe! Say, will you do something 
 for me ? 
 
 Snow, (holding out her hand). Dat depends. 
 
 Ham. (putting some money in her hand). On the size 
 of the tip ? 
 
 Snow, (looks at the money; smiles). What yo' all 
 want? 
 
 Ham. To see a young man who is visiting Miss Fen- 
 wick. 
 
 Snow. Which one? 
 
 Ham. Is there more than one? 
 
 Snow. Yes. • Dey's a funny little light one an' a 
 han'some black one. Looks jes' like de hero in de movies. 
 
 Ham. No heroes for mine. I'll see the funny little 
 light one. 
 
 Snow. All right. I'll send him in. [Exit, l. 
 
 Ham. Thanks, 
 
 (Walks up stage and starts to step into the curtain; 
 Olive enters by stairs; sees him.y 
 
LINE BUSY 39 
 
 Olive. Again ? 
 
 Ham. (walking forward). Again! 
 
 Olive. Is that where you have been all the afternoon? 
 
 Ham. Hardly. 
 
 Olive. It's you, I suppose, the girls have been so 
 excited about? 
 
 Ham. I dare say. Girls are always excited about me. 
 
 Olive. Well, I can tell you there's one little girl who 
 won't be excited after I tell her a thing or two. 
 
 (Comes to l. ; starts to exit.) 
 
 Ham. Now hold on, Olive. Just leave Miriam out 
 of this. I told you I had business here. 
 
 Olive (turns back). Business? Business that causes 
 you to mascjuerade as a New York theatre manager and 
 conduct the girls' rehearsal. 
 
 Ham. (dozvn r. ). Oh, there are boys in the show, 
 Olive, a whole bunch from Benning School. 
 
 Olive. Don't talk to me. I have my eyes open. 
 
 Ham. (turns /o .Olive). And of course it would be 
 useless to ask you to keep them shut for a while. I don't 
 know just what you think — that I have a girl here, I sup- 
 pose, and that (Frances comes doivn the stairs.) 
 
 I am deceiving your sister, Olive, I don't know one girl 
 in this school. 
 
 Fran, (stepping forward). D-D-D-Don't y-y-you 
 know m-m-me ? 
 
 Ham. (turns in astonishmcnty. Good-night! 
 
 Fran. Why didn't you t-t-tell me you were c-c-com- 
 ing? 
 
 Ham. I — I — didn't know that I was. (Turns to 
 Olive.) Olive! 
 
 Olive. Don't try to talk, Mr. Hamilton. Words on 
 your part are unnecessary. {E.vit, l. 
 
 Fran. W-W- What's the m-m-matter with her? 
 
 Ham. Her nerves are troubling her. Say, you've got 
 me into a lovely mess. 
 
 Fran. Y-Y-You g-g-got me into one. M-M-Miss 
 F-Fenwick saw us riding together y-yesterday. 
 
;|0 LINE BUSY 
 
 Ham. She did? You don't suppose she recognized 
 me when I came in to-day? 
 
 Fran. N-N-No, I d-d-don't think so. Are — are y-you 
 c-c-coming to rehearsal? 
 
 Ham. In a few minutes. Don't wait for me. Go 
 right along, that is, if you don't have to walk over to the 
 hall alone. 
 
 Fran. N-N-No. I was 1-1-late g-g-getting r-r-ready. 
 J-J-John is c-c-coming back for me. There he is now. 
 
 {Goes to c. ; exit.) 
 
 Ham. {follows her to door). Tell the girls I'm com- 
 ing. 
 
 Fran. A-A-All right. [Exit, c. 
 
 Ham. {zviping his forehead). Phew! (Jan. enters 
 by stairs.) Good-evening. {Steps forward.) 
 
 Jan. {surprised). Why — good-evening. Did you wish 
 to see any one? 
 
 Ham. No, oh, no. I just came over to the rehearsal. 
 
 Jan. Rehearsal? Oh, are you the manager the girls 
 were talking about? 
 
 Ham. I have that honor. How about your little 
 turn ? We might be trying it out while we wait. 
 
 Jan. I am not doing any turn, thank you. I am a 
 teacher here. 
 
 Ham. You don't look the part. Where are the 
 chickens ? 
 
 Jan. {straightening up). In the hen house just at the 
 right of the garage. 
 
 Ham. Pardon me. I didn't mean to offend. Are the 
 young ladies ready to rehearse? 
 
 Jan. Some time ago. They have gone to the hall. 
 
 Ham. Oh, don't we rehearse here? I must have mis- 
 understood. 
 
 Jan. If John has returned he can take you over. 
 
 {Starts tozvards hell.) 
 
 Ham. No hurry. The evening is young. Nice little 
 school here? 
 
LINE BUSY 41 
 
 Jan. (is doubtful of Ham. and doesn't knozv just liozv 
 to take him). We think so. 
 
 Ham. And a nice little lady running it? 
 
 Jan. There certainly is. 
 
 Ham. Rather young for the position, isn't she? 
 
 Jan. (down r.). I believe the head of a school is 
 usually older. 
 
 Ham. Does she have any trouble holding the job 
 down ? 
 
 Jan. If she has no one has noticed it. 
 
 Ham. (steps towards Jan.). No one but yourself. 
 
 Jan. What do you mean? 
 
 Ham. (turns away). Oh, I heard a little story about 
 the lively bunch of girls you have over here and how they 
 manage to keep Miss Fen wick some stirred up mentally. 
 
 Jan. It's mean for people to talk when she does her 
 best. 
 
 Ham. Oh, doing your best doesn't count if you don't 
 register success. 
 
 Jan. She is a success. She's wonderful. 
 
 Ham. If that's the case I call it odd that the reputa- 
 tion as head of this select establishment isn't better. 
 
 Jan. Well, I call it odd that you should be interested 
 in the question one way or the other. You must have 
 been pretty busy since you arrived this afternoon. 
 
 Ham. (steps toivards Jan.). Don't be cross. The 
 thing doesn't interest me three cents' worth. I was just 
 trying to start some conversation with you. Say, I'm 
 sorry you haven't a part in the siiow. 
 
 Jan. Well, I'm very glad I haven't. Mr. Hamilton, 
 to reach the Town Hall you walk straight down the ave- 
 nue to the first turn on the right, or you can stop at the 
 garage and have John take you down. [Exit by stairs. 
 
 Ham. Thanks. (Looks after Jan.) B-r-r-r-r! 
 
 Enter Lin., l. 
 
 Lin. (from door). Oh, there you are, little bright 
 eyes ! 
 
 Ham. (turns towards luiN.). Say! Are you address- 
 ing me ? 
 
42 
 
 LINE BUSY 
 
 Lin. (con;'::g to R.). Ya-as. 
 
 Ham. You are the freshest kid I ever met. 
 
 (Walks forivard.) 
 
 Lin. Did you want to see me? 
 
 Ham. Yes. Did you get next to the old lady? 
 
 Lin. Well, rather. I don't think you made a great 
 success of getting in. I thought you had come to stay. 
 
 Ham. (dozvn r.). Oh, that's all right. I am improv- 
 ing my opportunities. 
 
 Lin. Soam L Oh, girls, girls ! Everywhere! Ap- 
 pearing to you so unexpectedly. 
 
 Ham. You're right ! 
 
 Lin. I never saw so many all at once and such aw- 
 fully nice little girls. 
 
 Ham. Come out of the clouds. Linden. Do you know 
 that the constable is here in the house ? 
 
 Lin. Do I know it? Well, I should smile. The dear 
 old boy has been placed here especially to watch me and 
 another chap. 
 
 Ham. (turns away). Well, that's all right as long as 
 I'm not the other chap. 
 
 Lin. Oh, he'll watch you all right as soon as he gets 
 another view of you. 
 
 Ham. (turns hack). Well, I'd like to know why when 
 it's you he's after. Of course, it was mighty unfortunate 
 for me that I happened to fall in with you 
 
 Ia'^. (interrupting). Soft pedal, old man. You've got 
 it all wrong. The old duffer didn't recognize me at all. 
 He thought he recognized your suit of clothes. It's really 
 one on you. You are dressed just exactly like — like — 
 some one else, and that some one happens to be a notori- 
 ous crook. You — you — it really makes me laugh — you 
 look like him, too. 
 
 Ham. I could kill you, 
 
 Lin. (down l.). You are not alone. I have another 
 friend who feels the same way. 
 
 Ham. Your story doesn't hold. If the constable was 
 chasing my suit of clothes, why is he here watching you? 
 
 Lin. Oh, that's another affair. ; 
 
LINE BUSY 43 
 
 HaM. So you are wanted on two counts ? 
 
 Lin. Four ! I'm the most popular little chap you ever 
 met. {Telephone rings; they turn towards telephone. 
 Lin. hesitates for a second, then answers. ) Hello ! Just 
 a minute. {To Ham.) Do you know if any one is call- 
 ing Maybrook? 
 
 Ham. Yes, the constable. 
 
 Lin. Ye gods ! ( Telephone. ) Hello ! Right here. 
 I want Maybrook. {Turns receiver down, hand over 
 transmitter.) He hasn't talked with Maybrook, has he? 
 
 Ham. He couldn't get them. The line was busy. 
 
 {Crosses to Lin. and stands watching him.) 
 
 Lin. Thank heaven! {In telephone.) Hello! Yes, 
 waiting. {To Ham.) Gee, but this is a streak of luck! 
 {In telephone.) Hello! Tom? This is Ross Linden. 
 Say, Stokes is trying to get Mr. Ferris. He mustn't do 
 it yet. I don't want him to interfere with me now. Keep 
 the line busy for the next hour or so, until Mr. Ferris 
 leaves. Why, send in your reports and call up all the 
 girls you know — anything. Mr, Ferris will never know 
 the difference. He'll just think he didn't happen to have 
 any calls. All right. I think I can call you before mid- 
 night. I believe the end is in sight. Good-bye. {Rises.) 
 
 Ham. Look here ! You tell me what you are up to ! 
 
 Lin. Not on your tintype! {Crosses Ham. to door, 
 L.) Say, you are due at a rehearsal, aren't you? 
 
 Ham. Yes. 
 
 Lin. You had better run along. The old man is right 
 out here in the hall {looks out l.), and if he gets a view 
 of your clothes ! 
 
 Ham. Confound you ! 
 
 {Exit c. ; Lin., l. Stokes enters l.) 
 
 Stokes {goes to telephone). Maybrook 277-R. Yes! 
 {Pause.) What? I don't believe nothing of the kind! 
 You told me that half an hour ago! See here! You 
 watch that line and get them and call me. Fm Jeremiah 
 Stokes, and it's important. 
 
 Enter Lor. by stairs. 
 
44 LINE BUSY 
 
 Lor. What's the trouble, Mr. Stokes ? 
 
 Stokes. Oh, Central's reciting her favorite piece, I've 
 been trying to get a party in Maybrook and, gosh all 
 celery seed, there's some one on the line all the time ! Say, 
 Miss Fenwick, I want to talk with you. 
 
 LoR. Yes ? 
 
 (LoR. sits L, front; Stokes, r. c.) 
 
 Stokes. What makes you think neither of them chaps 
 is any relation to you? 
 
 Lor. Well, the first one didn't know the truth about 
 Mr. Melnee, and the second one swallowed the idea that 
 it was possible for him to have a cousin Richard, and ac- 
 cepted an Uncle Tom without question when my nephew 
 certainly must know there was never an Uncle Tom in 
 the family. 
 
 Stokes. Wal, Miss Fenwick, I can't see no earthly 
 reason why those chaps should come here and pretend to 
 be related to you. I been a-watchin' them, an' one thing 
 I'm sure of, they knew each other before they come here 
 to-day. If you could jest give me any little thing to go 
 by I could get along faster. I'm standing still now. I 
 ain't helping you a mite. 
 
 LoR. Do you know anything about our family ? 
 
 Stokes. I used to know your Uncle Jerry when he 
 lived in this house. 
 
 LoR. You did? 
 
 Stokes. Yas. Queer old nut, ben't he ? 
 
 LoR. I have never seen him since I was seven years 
 old. That's an odd thing about our family. We have 
 been scattered to the four winds of heaven and we don't 
 know each other by sight. I should judge that my uncle 
 was a very fine man. I have always heard him spoken of 
 in highest terms of praise. 
 
 Stokes. So you stand up for him, do you? After 
 the thing he has done for you ? 
 
 LoR. He did a wise thing when he gave me something) jj 
 to do besides dance and flirt. I didn't want to come hereT^ ', 
 in the beginning. I didn't want to become responsible,/ 
 for all these girls. But I am glad I came and I wish I^ 
 could do this thing just as he wants it done. r»* 
 
 h 
 
LINE BOSV 45 
 
 Stokes. Money a temptation ? 
 
 Lor. No, I don't want a million dollars, and if I win 
 it I am going to try to find something to do with it — ■ 
 something that will benefit girls in some way. No, I want 
 to do this thing for the sake of the thing itself. My uncle 
 said I had always been silly and frivolous and he wanted 
 me to make up for it by influencing the girls to be the 
 opposite to what I have always been. I don't believe he 
 realized what he was asking of me. 
 
 Stokes. Gosh all caterpillars, neither do I ! 
 
 Lor. But I wish I could do it, Mr. Stokes. I wish I 
 could make the girls all want to be sober and studious and 
 have high ideals, but girls are girls, and when 1 think what 
 I was at the same age, I cnn't say much. But this isn't 
 what I meant to say at all. I think these young men are 
 here to watch me. 
 
 Stokes. To watch you ? What in the name o' tunket 
 do you mean? 
 
 LoR. My uncle has a right to know if I am carrying 
 out his instructions. 
 
 Stokes. You don't think he's mean enough to set spies 
 on yer? 
 
 LoR. I shouldn't look at it that way. If he is going to 
 hand two million to this branch of the family he has a 
 right to know if we are worthy of it, and as he chooses to 
 live in Australia, how is he going to find out if he doesn't 
 have some one investigate for him ? 
 
 Stokes. H'm ! I don't call that likely. 
 
 LoR. Well, here's another idea. There is another 
 branch of the family who would like to have my uncle's 
 money. Supposing they sent some one here to watch me 
 and report to him that I was a failure? 
 
 Stokes {jumps to his feet and walks to Lor.), Gosh 
 all hollyhocks, you've got it ! That's the idea, I bet yer ! 
 I never thought o' that ! Say, I'll go to work now and if 
 I find that either one of those chaps is up to that I'll ring 
 their blamed necks for them ! 
 
 Lor. It is good of you to be so interested. 
 
 Stokes (stands by Lor.). You ain't a mite like what 
 I thought you was, Miss Fenwick. You're doing the best 
 you can and I'm with yer ! 
 
46 LINE BUSY 
 
 Lor. Thank you. What about the girls and the Lovell 
 House ? 
 
 Stokes. Lord, I don't know. There's been so much 
 to think about I ain't had time f er that. I do' know when 
 I've been so driv. That makes me think! I'm right on 
 the track of a sHck rascal and if I can jest get Maybrook. 
 {Goes to telephone.) Hello! Maybrook 277-R. {To 
 LoR.) You keep right on, Miss Fenwick, foolin' them 
 fellers and jest watch fer anything they do that looks 
 suspicious. {Telephone.) What's that? Say! I ain't 
 goin' to stand this. It ain't sense. You get that number 
 and get it quick ! 
 
 Enter Olive, l. 
 
 Olive. Oh, you are here, Lorraine? I'm exhausted. 
 {Takes a chair, c.) I have been in every room in the 
 house and walked up-stairs and down-stairs and in and 
 out and out and in and 
 
 LoR. Have you lost something? 
 
 Olive. Yes, — Magnolia. It seems so odd to lose her 
 when she's always standing right on my feet. Have you 
 seen her? 
 
 LoR. No, I haven't. 
 
 Olive. And you don't know where she is? 
 
 LoR. No. 
 
 Olive. Well, I must say, Lorraine, that I'm surprised 
 and annoyed and upset. I expected if I placed my little 
 treasure in your care that she would be carefully watched. 
 
 LoR. {rings bell). By me? 
 
 Olive. Certainly. What are you running a school for 
 if you can't keep your eyes on what's going on ? How am 
 I to know where my child is? I expected to go South 
 M^ithout a care or worry. I pictured myself beneath the 
 oleanders eating oranges care-free and happy — and now 
 — look how things are turning out ? My child is likely to 
 fall down stairs, set herself on fire, be run over by an 
 auto, go where there's germs —— 
 
 Stokes {zvho has been laughing to himself, suddenly 
 hursts forth). Ha ! Ha ! Ha ! Wal, by cricky ! 
 
LINE BUSY 47 
 
 Olive. Lorraine, if I may ask, who is this simple- 
 minded creature ? 
 
 Enter Jan. by stairs. 
 
 Lor. Miss Reece, Mrs. Hamihon's httle girl is miss- 
 ing. Do you know where she is ? 
 
 Jan. Yes, she is rehearsing a song with the children. 
 
 Olive (surprised; rising). Rehearsing? 
 
 Lor. (to Jan.). For to-morrow night? 
 
 Jan. Yes. 
 
 Olive. I don't understand. 
 
 Lor. The girls are going to be in a Red Cross benefit 
 in the Town Hall. 
 
 Jan. And your little girl is so clever that Miss Lord 
 said she would put her right in with the other children, 
 and she has given her a solo part. 
 
 Olive. Dear me ! I shall have to stay another day, 
 Lorraine. I will get Howard to wait over. Magnolia is 
 clever. She takes it from me. You know every one said 
 I ought to go on the stage. Where are the children? 
 Couldn't we see what they are doing? 
 
 LoR. Certainly. I will take you. (Turns to Jan.) 
 Where? 
 
 Jan. In the music room. 
 
 [LoR. and Olive exeunt, l. 
 
 Stokes (rises). Gosh all cow bells! I wouldn't been 
 polite like that. I'd 'a' told that woman to shut up. That 
 I had something to do besides watch her young one. 
 
 Jan. We can't talk like that to the mothers of the 
 pupils. 
 
 Stokes. No, I reckon not. (Starts for telephone.) 
 
 Jan. (sits dozvn l.). It's simply awful. There's some- 
 thing the matter all the time, and Miss Fenwick is per- 
 fectly beautiful to me, and I can't seem to be able to help 
 her at all. I get so discouraged. 
 
 Stokes (walks towards Jan.). Don't do that. Don't 
 ye do it. By cricky, if you cry I'll go out and knock my 
 head against the side o' the barn. 
 
 Jan. We aren't the crying kind, Mr. Stokes. Have 
 you seen that New York manager who came down to 
 rehearse the girls ? 
 
4-) line busy 
 
 Stokes. No. 
 
 Jan. Well, I don't like him. He's too much inter- 
 ested in Miss Fenwick's affairs. He asked me a lot of 
 questions about her making a success of things. 
 
 Stokes. Oh, he did? 
 
 Jan. Yes, and he must liave been asking questions 
 outside, for he repeated several things he had heard. 
 
 Stokes. Let me get my eye on him ! Where is he? 
 
 Jan. I think he went over to the hall to rehearse the 
 girls. 
 
 Stokes. Well, I'll go right along. (Starts c.) Say! 
 ( Turns back. ) Don't you v^^ant to come ? 
 
 Jan. (rising). Yes, I'll have to anyway. I am sup- 
 posed to chaperon the girls. I'll get my hat. 
 
 [Exit by stairs. 
 
 Stokes. All right. I'll wait fer yer. (Goes to tele- 
 phone.) Maybrook 277 -R. (Looks up the stairs.) 
 Janice ! Janice ! (Sings.) " When the right girl comes 
 along — when the right girl comes along " (Tele- 
 phone.) What's that? Say! I ain't going to stand no 
 sech nonsense ! You give me the chief operator ! 
 (Pause; Lin. and Fen. start to enter, c. ; discover 
 Stokes; turn back.) See here! I been calling May- 
 brook 277-R since six o'clock and Central says every 
 time the line's busy. Now you get me that number and 
 get it quick. Understand? Jeremiah Stokes ! [Exit,u 
 
 (Lin. and Fen. walk forivard.) 
 
 Lin. (looks after Stokes). Doesn't he just think he 
 is somebody ! 
 
 Fen. He gives me a pain. If you will help me, we'll 
 get him out where it's dark and 
 
 Lin. (zvalks r.). Nothing doing. I'm altogether too 
 popular now. 
 
 Fen. The old chump shadowed me the whole after- 
 noon. (Disgusted; hands in pockets.) 
 
 Lin. No worse than Aunt Lorraine. Gee, the look in 
 her eyes when she gives you the once over ! 
 
 Fen. (turns to Lin.). Perhaps I don't realize it. I 
 came on here to get in right with her and when I think of 
 the mess you have pulled me into. 
 
LINE BUSY /|9 
 
 Lin. How my friends do love me ! (Sits l.) 
 Fen. (walks tozvards Lin.). And you don't care the 
 snap of your fingers. All you think about is the foolish 
 bunch of girls that are swarming all over the place. And, 
 my heaven, that giggling one, Gladys, is the limit ! 
 
 {Turns away.) 
 
 Lin. Since when did you lose your interest in the dear 
 little things? I never noticed anything reticent about you 
 until this afternoon. How about Lucy Sears and Helen 
 Mason and Lu Burns arid 
 
 Fen. (looks tozvards Lin.; turns away). There, for- 
 get it ! I have at least sense enough left to try to impress 
 Aunt Lorraine with the fact that I am serious-minded. 
 
 Lin. Yes, I guess that is her long suit. Say, Dickie, 
 nothing would induce her to give up her million. She 
 isn't that kind. Don't worry. You'll get yours all right. 
 
 Fen. (crosses tozvards Lin.), You poor cheese, I 
 can't get it for two years, and then I can't unless Aunt 
 Lorraine is satisfied with me. She is my guardian. 
 
 Lin. She is? Why, I thought Mr. Melnee 
 
 Fen. Merely a tutor to get me ready for college. 
 That nut of an uncle made Aunt Lorraine my guardian, 
 and she employed Mr. Melnee to look out for me. I 
 guess she thought this school for girls was enough and 
 I'd be the last straw. 
 
 Lin. Well, I'm going to put you right with her in a 
 day or two. 
 
 Fen. a day or two ? You said to-night ! 
 
 Lin. Yes, I thought it would be, but I'm not abso- 
 lutely sure that it can be so soon. 
 
 Fen. That v/ill do. This is where you get off. I'm 
 going to call her, and you'll go down on your knees right 
 now. (Starts for door.) 
 
 L.i'N.. (rises; walks r.). Nothing doing, Richard. 
 
 Fen. (by door; looks back). Then I will tell her my- 
 self. 
 
 Lin. Do it and I'll tell her it isn't so. How are you 
 going to prove it is ? She doesn't believe in me any more 
 than she does in you. You can send for Mr. Melnee to 
 
50 . LINE BUSY 
 
 come on and identify you. It will take three days for 
 him to get here and by that time it will be all over. 
 
 Fen. What will be all over? (Walks r.) 
 
 Lin. I will tell you some time. You v/ill have to 
 trust me. 
 
 Fen. {scornfully). Trust you? 
 
 Lin. There is really something serious going on. 
 
 Fen. {doivifL.). You bet there is. 
 
 Lin. Dick Fenwick (starts towards Fen.), you are 
 in a mess yourself. I bet dollars to doughnuts that you 
 are in wrong with Mr. Melnee. That's why you came on 
 here. 
 
 Fen. (turns to Lin.). Well, supposing that is the 
 case? 
 
 Lin. And you have the nerve to put on airs with me ! 
 
 Fen. Well, I was only up to my neck. You've pulled 
 me in over my head. « 
 
 Lin. Why do you suppose your aunt is so sure we are 
 neither of us related to her? 
 
 Fen. Give it up. I wish I knew. 
 
 Lin. So do 1. It will be easy to prove I'm not her 
 nephew, but I'm not so sure about proving that you are. 
 
 Fen. If we just knew what she and the old boy had 
 in their minds, (Telephone rings.) 
 
 Lin. They're calling Stokes. I hope they haven't got 
 Maybrook. I'll show you what to do and perhaps we can 
 hear something. Stand in this curtain. (Walks up r. and 
 pulls left curtain aside. ) I tried it once before to-day and 
 it works great. I 
 
 (Fen. stands in curtain, l., Lin. in curtain, r. Tele-j 
 phone rings.) U 
 
 Stokes (outside). I'm coming! (Enters, l., goes to> 
 telephone.) Hello! Yes, it js! What? The line is 
 busy ? You'll call me ? Well, see that you do ! 
 
 Enter Lor., l., with letter in her hand. 
 
 LoR. (crosses to Stokes). Mr. Stokes, the eveninfl ' 
 mail has brought me a letter from Mr. Melnee. He say |'^ 
 my nephew is on his way to visit me. This letter is datecr 
 
LINE BUSY 51 
 
 two days ago and he is likely to arrive at any minute. 
 Wouldn't it be splendid if he should come while these 
 young men are here ? 
 Stokes. I reckon. 
 
 Enter Olive, l. 
 
 Olive. Lorraine, there is something I think it is my 
 duty to say to you. Have you noticed anything suspicious 
 about either of your nephews? 
 
 Lor. No, I haven't. They appear all right. 
 
 Olive. Well, the one you call Dickie was in Maybrook 
 two weeks ago and he sold me an aluminum teakettle. 
 
 Stokes. What ? 
 
 Enter Jan. by stairs. 
 
 Lor. Surely you are mistaken, Olive. 
 Olive. Surely I am not. I have reason to remember 
 ^*iim. The teakettle leaked. {Dozvn l.) 
 
 Enter Snow., l. 
 
 Snow. Miss Fenwick, John done tole me to tell yo' 
 all dat he went down to de station to get yo' nephew's 
 case, an' dere weren't no case dere. Dere station agent 
 done tole him dere hadn't been but one case left dere fer 
 two days, and dat one belonged to a funny little fellah dat 
 ain't called fer it yet. John done tole him yo' nephew is 
 kind o' funny, but de station man said it couldn't be his 
 'cause dere weren't nothin' in it but a 'luminum teakettle. 
 
 All. What? 
 
 Stokes. Gosh all mushrooms ! 
 
 Olive. What did I tell you ? And I bet it leaks ! I'm 
 sorry to say it, Lorraine, but your nephew is very queer. 
 Tell me why he should prowl about the house ? 
 
 LoR. What do you mean ? 
 
 Olive. I saw him going down cellar just before 
 supper. 
 
 Jan. Why, that's odd. I saw him going just after 
 supper. 
 
 Snow. An' I done see him goin' 'bout half an hour 
 
 5g0. 
 
52 LINE BUSY 
 
 Stokes. Gosh all bean poles ! 
 
 Lor. How perfectly extraordlnaiy ! Didn't any of 
 you say anything to him ? 
 
 Olive. No. I keep my eyes wide open, but if you no- 
 tice I never say much. 
 
 Jan. I spoke to him, I asked him if he was looking 
 for anything. He said no, that the girls got him so ex- 
 cited up that he was trying to find a quiet place to rest 
 his brain. 
 
 Snow. I done spoke to him, but he just laffed in mah 
 face an' says, " Goin' down, honey gal ! " 
 
 (Fen., behind the curtain, suddenly gives a loud sneeze.) 
 
 All (turning iozvards curtain). Why what? 
 Stokes. By cricky ! (Rushes to curtain and pulls 
 Fen. out.) Caught right in the act ! 
 
 (Lin. steals across stage and exits, l.) 
 
 Lor. Richard ! 
 
 Olive. Lorraine, I should have those curtains taken 
 down. There is somebody standing in them all the time. 
 
 LoR. What do you mean ? 
 
 Olive. Just what I say. I know what I have seen 
 since I came into this house. I should say, Lorraine, 
 there is enough that's suspicious about your nephews. 
 
 (Bell rings.) 
 
 Lor. It begins to look that way, Richard, how did 
 you happen to be standing in that curtain? 
 
 Fen. Look in the other curtain and you will have the 
 answer. 
 
 Stokes (dashes to curtain). Will, eh? Not a durned 
 thing! (Turns to Fen.) What do you mean? 
 
 LoR. I am waiting for an explanation, Richard. 
 
 Fen. I don't care to make it, Aunt Lorraine, before 
 this bunch — er — pardon me— before so many. H you 
 will excuse me I will go (Starts to exit.) 
 
 LoR. Not one step out of this room. 
 
 Fen. (down l.). Oh, very well. 
 
 Stokes. That's right, Miss Fenwick. That's right. 
 
LINE BUSY 53 
 
 '{To Fen.) You needn't think you can put anything ovei: 
 on us. 
 
 {Bell rings.) 
 
 Lor. Snowball, the bell is ringing. 
 
 Snow. Mah Ian'! Am it? I neber noticed. 
 
 {Exit, L. ; Stokes follozvs to door, L.- 
 
 Enter Hunt., c. 
 
 Hunt. Miss Fenwick! 
 
 Lor. {turning). Oh, it is you, Mr. Huntley? 
 
 Hunt. Have the girls gone to rehearsal? 
 
 Lor. Yes. 
 
 Hunt. Well, there isn't going to be any. That is, I 
 don't see how there can be. Such a mess ! Is Mr. Stokes 
 here ? 
 
 Stokes. Right here. {Steps forzvard.) 
 
 Hunt. Mr. Benning wants to see you. He has found 
 out that a lot of our fellows were mixed up in the Lovell 
 House affair Monday night. And, Miss Fenwick, he has 
 forbidden the fellows to leave the building, and rehearsal 
 and show and everything else is called off as far as we 
 fellows are concerned. He telephoned to the Town Hall 
 and said I could come over here and explain, and then, I 
 suppose I go into exile with the other boys. 
 
 Stokes {walks dozvn l. ). Serves you right! I ain't 
 sorry for you. You fellows will have to learn to behave 
 {looks from Fen. to Hunt.) yourselves if you don't want 
 to be in hot water all the time. 
 
 (Fen. disgusted; sits l.) 
 
 Hunt. Did Mr. Hamilton come over here? 
 
 LoR. I haven't seen him. 
 
 Olive. I have ! Lorraine, I am sorry that I am going 
 South. I v/ish I could stay here and help you. You need 
 some one in the house who keeps their eyes wide open. 
 
 Jan. Mr. Hamilton has gone to the Town Hall. 
 
 Hunt. I don't want to alarm you, Miss Fenwick, but 
 I don't believe he is what he says he is. He's the queer- 
 est acting chap for a manager. You know my uncle is in 
 
54 I-INE BUSY 
 
 the business, and I've seen a lot of those fellows, and if 
 this one is really a manager he is a new variety. 
 
 Enter Snow., l., followed by Trixie Tree. 
 
 Snow. Miss Fenwick, dis young lady wants to see you 
 all. 
 
 LoR. {turning). Yes? 
 
 Trixie {steps forward). I am Trixie Tree. 
 
 Hunt. Good Lord ! 
 
 Lor. {to Hunt.). You know this young lady? 
 
 Hunt. Yes-no-yes-no-yes ! 
 
 Trix. The young man seems in doubt. Well, I can 
 answer for my part that I never saw him before. I have 
 been sent down from the New York office of J. Arnold 
 Huntley to take part in a Red Cross benefit. 
 
 Hunt. Miss Fenwick, my uncle has made an awful 
 mess of things. I didn't send for Miss Tree any more 
 than I did for Hamilton. 
 
 Trix. Hamilton can't come. 
 
 All. Can't come ? 
 
 Lor. He is already here. 
 
 Trix. Why, he can't be. He has an attack of appen- 
 dicitis and he is in the hospital. 
 
 Hunt. I knew that chap was an impostor. 
 
 LoR. You are sure, Miss Tree, that Mr. Arnold 
 hasn't sent some one down in the place of the young man 
 who is in the hospital? 
 
 Trix. Absolutely. He said to tell his nephew that he 
 was sorry but he couldn't seem to get in touch with any 
 one else to send down in Hamilton's place. 
 
 Jan. I thought that Mr. Hamilton acted queer. 
 
 Olive. I knew that he did. 
 
 LoR. {to Trix.). There is a young man here who 
 claims that his name is Hamilton and that he has been 
 sent here by Mr. Huntley's uncle. 
 
 Trix. Well, of all the nerve ! Let me see him ! 
 
 Stokes {steps tozvards Trix.). Now, hold on. Miss — 
 er — Miss — er — what did you say your name is ? 
 
 Trix. Trixie Tree. 
 
 Stokes. Gosh all huckleberries, change it soon's you 
 
LINE BUSY 55 
 
 can! Wal, I got my suspicions of this chap, an' I want 
 you should jest keep still fer a while and not let on you 
 know the difference between him and the real one. 
 
 Trix. All right. 
 
 Stokes {up r. )• Come on over to the Town Hall 
 with me. You might recognize him. Maybe he's some 
 one you've seen before. 
 
 Trix. That's quite possible. Do I rehearse my act in 
 the hall ? Who is to be my partner ? 
 
 Hunt. We — we aren't sure there will be any show. 
 
 Trix. I am afraid I don't understand. Just why have 
 I been sent down here? 
 
 LoR. To help us out, of course. Mr. Huntley doesn't 
 know what he is talking about. This is Miss Reece, Miss 
 Tree. She will take you over to the hall. 
 
 (Jan. a7id Trix. shake hands; zualk tozuard center door.) 
 Hunt. But, Miss Fenwick, I don't see how 
 
 LoR. Don't be foolish. Of course there will have to 
 be a show, and it doesn't make any difference how. 
 
 Stokes. Miss Fenwick, I don't know as I oughter go 
 and leave you 
 
 Lor. Oh, don't worry about me. Snowball, you stand 
 where you can watch the cellar door. H Dickie goes 
 down there again, lock the door. We will at least know 
 where he is. 
 
 Snow. Yas'um. [Exit, l. 
 
 Lor. As for Richard, we haven't had a minute to- 
 gether since he first arrived, and this will be a splendid 
 opportunity to get acquainted, 
 
 Olive. I shall be here, Mr. Stokes, and I have my eyes 
 wide open. * 
 
 Stokes. Yas, I reckon. Wal, if you think it's all 
 right. Miss Fenwick, we'll travel along. (Jan., Trix. and 
 Hunt, exeunt, c. ; Stokes starts to follow; turns back.) 
 Oh, Miss Fenwick, if I get a call from Maybrook, tell Mr. 
 Ferris to call me at (looks at watch) nine o'clock. If I 
 could jest get at him I could settle up one point that's 
 bothering me. [Exit, c. 
 
56 LINE BUSY 
 
 Olive. Lorraine, I'm going over the house. I'm going 
 into every room and I expect to see a great many things. 
 
 [Exit by stairs. 
 
 LoR. Well, my dear nephew^? 
 
 Fen. Well, my dear aunt? 
 
 LoR. Perhaps now that your audience is small and 
 select, you will tell me why it is you wish to spy upon me. 
 
 Fen. If you will tell me why you refuse to accept me 
 as your nephew. 
 
 LoR. I? Refuse? Why, I am sure I accepted you. 
 Two of you. 
 
 Fen. Then why did you tell Mr. Stokes we were im- 
 postors ? 
 
 LoR. Quite a success at hearing what is going on, 
 aren't you? 
 
 Fen. I need to be if a constable is to be employed to 
 prove something about me that isn't so. I'm sorry — sorry 
 that I hid in the curtain. I suppose it does look pretty 
 bad. 
 
 LoR. It doesn't look exactly good. 
 
 Fen. I suppose it is useless to tell you that I did it on 
 the impulse of the moment, that I never did a thing like 
 that in my life before. I did want to find out if I could 
 why you distrust me so. What can I say, Aunt Lorraine, 
 to make you believe I am your nephew? 
 
 LoR. Well, let me see. Did you ever hear of Annie 
 Morris? 
 
 Fen. (quickly). No, I certainly never did. 
 
 LoR. Then you will be interested to know that she was 
 your father's wife. Odd, isn't it, my dear nephew, that 
 you never heard of your own mother? [Exit by stairs. 
 
 Fen. (looks after her; gasps). My gosh! 
 
 Lin. (^ooks in l.). Dickie, are you still alive? 
 
 Fen. Yes, I'm alive, but my brain is affected. 
 
 Lin. (entering) . That's no news. Well, if you didn't 
 spill the beans ! 
 
 Fen. Listen, Ross ! I'm in worse than ever. I've 
 cooked my goose for fair. Aunt Lorraine asked me if I 
 ever heard of Annie Morris. I thought she was spring- 
 ing some girl on me and I told her no. 
 
 Lin. And did you ever hear of her? 
 
LINE BUSY 57 
 
 Fen. Did I? She was my mother ! 
 Lin. Say, how do you get that way? Come ! I know 
 a dandy place where you can rest your head. 
 
 (Leads him out, l. Lor. enters by stairs; Jean looks in c.) 
 
 Jean. Oh, Miss Fenwick ! (Looks out, c. ; calls.) 
 Girls ! Miss Fenwick is right here ! 
 
 Enter seniors and juniors, c. 
 
 Girls (all at the same time). Oh, Miss Fenwick! 
 You can't think what has happened ! It's terrible ! What 
 shall we do? 
 
 LoR. Young ladies ! Just calm down a little. I know 
 what you are trying to tell. Jack Huntley has been here. 
 
 Jean. He has? 
 
 LoR. He has just gone over to the hall. You must 
 have passed him. 
 
 Helen. We came by Maple Lane. 
 
 LoR. He is with Miss Reece, Mr. Stokes and Miss 
 Tree, who has come down from New York for your show. 
 
 All. She has ? 
 
 Gladys (giggling). Did you ever? 
 
 Fran. G-G-G-Goodness ! 
 
 Muriel. But, Miss Fenwick, we can't have any show^ 
 
 LoR. Nonsense ! 
 
 Fran. W-W-Why is it n-n-nonsense ? 
 
 Gladys. How are we going to do it ? It is too ridicu- 
 lous, but (giggles) Mr. Benning won't let the boys (gig- 
 gles) go out ! 
 
 Anita. Do you think he ought to spoil the show. Miss 
 Fenwick ? 
 
 Mar. You wouldn't do a thing like that. 
 
 LoR. We will not discuss Mr. Benning. You girls can 
 do all the rehearsing you want to right here. 
 
 Helen. But what can we rehearse? 
 
 Gladys. It's too comical ! The boys were in every- 
 thing! 
 
 LoR. Drop them out. You have an actress, a real one, 
 and a manager. Ask them for some suggestions. Don't 
 you intend to give people their money's worth? 
 
58 LINE BUSY 
 
 Jean. And you think we should go ahead? 
 
 Lor. Certainly. If you are not arrested before to- 
 morrow night I should go through with what I had 
 started. 
 
 Muriel. Miss Fenwick, you really wouldn't let us go 
 to jail? 
 
 LoR. I wouldn't interfere with your going to jail any 
 more than I would with your going on with the show. 
 
 [Exit by stairs. 
 
 Gladys (giggling). Did you ever? 
 
 Fran. N-N-Never ! 
 
 Anita. Isn't she the limit? 
 
 Jean. Girls, I haven't had a chance to ask a question. 
 Who had on my black and white coat Monday night ? 
 
 Muriel. You said you had it on yourself. 
 
 Helen. Why, yes, that's right, you did. 
 
 Jean. I thought I did, but I couldn't have. One of 
 you certainly had it on or it wouldn't have been seen. 
 Come now ! You needn't think I'm going to stand calmly 
 by and shoulder all the blame. I wasn't in that house 
 Monday night and I never saw the sistrum. 
 
 Anita (glancing at the juniors who are standing near). 
 Look out for the juniors! 
 
 Fran. They're 1-1-listening ! 
 
 Flos. Oh, we're not anything of the kind ! 
 
 Stel. We are just waiting to find out what you are 
 going to do about the show. 
 
 Muriel. Well, that won't be any concern of yours. 
 
 Jean. If we are able to make up something for our- 
 selves that will pass, I guess we shan't worry about you. 
 It was foolish for you to be in the show anyway. 
 
 Helen. I should say as much. It's bad enough to 
 have to take Marion into our group. 
 
 Mar. Oh, is that so? You're jealous because I can 
 dance better than any one in the crowd. 
 
 Marie. Come on, girls ! We can make up something 
 that will beat them all out. 
 
 Mar. Sure you can, girls. You've got real brains 
 and they haven't anything in their heads but feathers. 
 
 {Juniors exeunt, l. 
 
 Gladys. Did you ever? 
 
LINE BUSY 59 
 
 Fran. F-F-F-resh ! 
 
 Helen. Jean, Snowball has a black and white coat 
 like yours. I had it on Monday night, but I can't very 
 well tell Miss Fenwick or Mr. Stokes. 
 
 Jean. You took the sistrum ? 
 
 Helen. I didn't take it ; but I threw it away. I found 
 it in a tree. 
 
 Muriel. The tree Miss Fenwick spoke to Phyllis 
 about. Say, girls, I was thinking — you don't suppose the 
 juniors took it? 
 
 Anita. And hid it in that tree? 
 
 Helen. They might have ! 
 
 Fran. Y-Y-Yes. 
 
 Gladys. Well, wouldn't that be comical ! 
 
 Jean. We would have to prove it. 
 
 Anita. Well, let's go to work. We must pull out of 
 this thing. 
 
 Helen. I left Snowball's coat down cellar. I must 
 try to get a chance to go down and get it. It's a wonder 
 she hasn't been asking about it. 
 
 Muriel. In the meantime, what are you going to do 
 about the show? I don't see how we can have anything 
 half decent without the boys. It's too mean ! 
 
 Anita. It's an outrage ! 
 
 Enter Lin. and Mar., l. 
 
 Fran. P-P- Perfectly r-r-ridiculous ! 
 
 Gladys. It's a scream. Think of all the people who 
 have paid for tickets and nothing to see when they get 
 there. 
 
 Muriel. You have the strangest ideas of what's 
 funny. 
 
 Jean. I should say as much ! 
 
 Lin. What's the matter, girls? {Steps forzvard.) 
 
 Girls {together). Oh, Mr. Fenwick! Such a mess! 
 You never can guess ! 
 
 Lin. Help ! Gladys, you tell me. 
 
 Gladys {giggling). Well — you see — oh, I can't, 
 Dickie! I should die trying! 
 
60 LINE BUSY 
 
 Jean. It's p-p-p-p-p-p-p 
 
 Lin. You don't mean it? 
 
 Jean. I will tell you, Mr. Fenwick. Have you heard 
 about the trouble at the Lovell House Monday night? 
 
 Lin. Well (Catches sight of Muriel.) 
 
 Muriel. Oh ! ( Gives him a zvarning gesture. ) 
 
 Lin. I saw something about it in the paper. 
 
 Jean. Then we don't need to go into details. Some of 
 the boys over to Benning are suspected of being con- 
 cerned and Mr. Benning has stopped them from being in 
 the show. 
 
 Helen. We don't know what to do. 
 
 Muriel. We went to rehearsal — and — and — then 
 came back again. 
 
 Anita. Miss Fenwick said we could rehearse here, 
 but we don't know what to rehearse. There were boys in 
 all the numbers. 
 
 Mar. (suddenly) . Mr. Fenwick, do you sing? 
 
 Lin. Sing? My dear girl, I was born singing. 
 
 Mar. Then, girls, why couldn't he 
 
 All. Oh, yes ! Great idea ! Will you ? Please ! 
 
 Lin. I don't know what you are talking about, but I 
 will do it. 
 
 Gladys. Oh, won't it be killing ! I know I shall die ! 
 
 Muriel. I bet you'll be better than the fellow who was 
 going to do it. 
 
 Lin. No question about that. What is it I'm going to 
 do? An impersonation of Annette Kellermann? 
 
 All. Oh, Mr. Fenwick ! The idea ! Aren't you ter- 
 rible! 
 
 Jean. You are going to do a song with us. 
 
 Lin. All of you ? 
 
 All. Yes. 
 
 Lin. Oh, girls ! Who's got the smelling salts ? What's 
 the song? 
 
 Helen. " Along came another little girl." 
 
 Anita. Do you know it ? 
 
 Lin. Do I ? Lead me to it ! 
 
 Anita. I'm your wife. 
 
 Lin Oh, this is so sudden! 
 
 Mar. Come on, girls ! 
 
LINE BUSY 6 I 
 
 (All but Anita and Lin. exeunt, l.) 
 
 Lin. {removes Anita's coat and hangs it over a chair; 
 calls). All ready, girls? 
 Girls (outside). Yes! 
 
 (Lin. starts song with Anita, the other girls appearing 
 in turn, "Along Came Another Little Girl," from 
 "Jack o'Lantern." At close of song Hunt., Trix. 
 and Ham. enter, c.) 
 
 Hunt. What's going on? 
 
 Girls. We are rehearsing ! 
 
 Jean. With Mr. Fenwick, and he is great ! 
 
 Girls. Wonderful ! 
 
 Fran. L-L- Lovely ! 
 
 Anita. One number will be all right. 
 
 Enter Fen., l. 
 
 Hunt. Well, I wish we could get another one to 
 going. 
 
 Trix. What about mine? 
 
 Hunt. Oh, girls, this is Miss Tree. 
 
 Girls. Oh, is it? 
 
 Trix. I must have a partner. 
 
 Hunt. Perhaps Mr. Fenwick will be in another num- 
 ber. 
 
 Trix. (looking at Lin.). Oh, he wouldn't do at all. 
 
 Anita (sees ¥-Eii. standing -l.). There's the other Mr. 
 Fenwick ! 
 
 Fen. (starting for door). Nothing doing ! 
 
 Girls (pidl him back). Oh, please! Oh, yes! 
 
 Hunt, (/o Trix.). Would he do? 
 
 Trix. Oh, yes ! 
 
 Fen. But I don't sing or dance or anything. ' 
 
 Hunt. Well, here's a man to show you how. (Turns 
 to Ham.) Now go ahead and do something. You 
 haven't been any help to any one yet. 
 
 Ham. What's the song? 
 
 Trix. (handj him music). Here it is. I'm going to 
 use a swing, 
 
62 LINE BUSY 
 
 Ham. (pushes chair c.)- Well, call this chair the 
 swing. 
 
 Muriel. You will, Mr. Fenwick? 
 
 Helen. We are in such a mess. 
 
 Fen. Oh, all right. 
 
 Ham. (to Trix.). You sit in the swing, Miss Tree. 
 (Trix. sits c. ; to Fen.) Now you stand back of it, 
 (Fen. tries to follow instructions.) Take hold of the 
 rope — up— up high ! Lean forward ! No, not that way ! 
 You are about as graceful as a bean pole ! Now smile at 
 her ! Smile ! I said smile ! Not grin ! 
 
 Gladys. Did you ever? 
 
 Fen. (to Ham.). What do you think this is? A 
 training camp? 
 
 Trix. (rising). I should say as much. Twenty-three, 
 Mr. Hamilton. We'll direct our own act. 
 
 Fen. Sure ! Leave it to us. 
 
 (Song, "I'm not jealous," Trix., Fen. and chorus of 
 girls. Lin. exits, l., as song starts. Hunt, and 
 Ham. exit shortly; the girls make an exit after them, 
 c, on chorus, and Fen. and Trix. at end of song.) 
 
 Enter Stokes, c. 
 
 Stokes (goes to telephone). Maybrook 277-R. Yes! 
 (Pause.) What? Gosh all cornstalks! I know better! 
 I won't stand it ! No one ever hear tell o' sech a thing. A 
 whole evening like this ! Now you got to — work and get 
 that number! I won't wait another minute. Under- 
 stand ! 
 
 (Phyl. looks in, l.) 
 
 Phyl. They're gone, girls. There isn't any one 
 here. (Flos., Stella, Agnes, Marie and Ada enter.) 
 Oh, yes, there is ! Mr. Stokes is here ! 
 
 Stokes. Don't mind me ! Come right in. What is the 
 trouble ? You don't look very happy. 
 
 Marie. We aren't happy. 
 
 Stokes. What's happened? 
 
 Ada. Oh, nothing. 
 
 Agnes. There has, too. 
 
LINE BUSY 63 
 
 Stel. It's the show. We were going to be in it, and 
 now I don't see how we can. 
 
 Flos. The seniors are just as mean. They've been 
 rehearsing with Miss Fen wick's nephews so they could 
 be in it, 
 
 Phyl. And nobody cares anything about us. 
 
 Stokes. Wal, ain't that too bad, now ? 
 
 Ada. We've got our costumes all made. 
 
 Stokes. What wuz you goin' ter be ? 
 
 Agnes. Milk maids. 
 
 Stokes. Milkmaids? 
 
 AIarie. We were going to be the chorus in " Wait 
 Till the Cows Come Home." 
 
 Stokes. Gosh all sunflowers, you'd wait a long time 
 if the cows ever got a sight of that costume. Wal, now, 
 I tell you, I know a little song. 
 
 Stel. Oh, do you sing? 
 
 Stokes. Well, I used to when I was young and gay, 
 and I ain't forgot all I used to know, not by a long sight. 
 
 All. Oh, will you do it — will you ? 
 
 Stokes. Wal, I'll try it and you do your part, and 
 we'll see how we fit together. 
 
 Marie. Oh, Mr. Stokes, aren't you a dear 1 
 
 Stokes. Yas, I reckon. 
 
 {Song, " How you going to keep 'em down on the 
 farm." At end Lor. enters with Jan., Olive and 
 Mag.) 
 
 Lor. Well, Mr. Stokes, I wouldn't have believed that 
 possible. 
 
 Olive. Oh, I would ! I am ready to believe anything. 
 
 Stel. Isn't it nice, Miss Fenwick? 
 
 Phyl. We are going to do it in the show. 
 
 Helen {outside). Miss Fenwick! Miss Fenwick! 
 Mr. Stokes! {Enter, l.) Miss Fenwick, Snowball's 
 black and white coat is walking around down cellar. 
 
 All. What! 
 
 Olive. I am not a bit surprised ! 
 
 Lor. Miss Burns, what are you talking about? 
 
64 tlNE BUSY 
 
 Helen. I had Snowball's coat on Monday night, and 
 I left it down cellar and 
 
 Enter seniors, l. 
 
 Girls. Helen ! 
 
 Helen. Oh, I don't care what I say now ! 
 
 Lor. Did you take that sistnim, Miss Burns? 
 
 Helen. No. I found it in the tree at the foot of the 
 garden. 
 
 LoR. Phyllis, is that what you were looking for? 
 
 Phyl. Yes, Miss Fenwick. 
 
 LoR. Who put it there? 
 
 Mar. I did. 
 
 Helen. Oh, don't talk about that now. Somebody see 
 about that coat. I tell you I saw it walking. 
 
 {Whistles blotv.) 
 
 All. What is that? 
 
 Stokes. Gosh all potato bugs ! Somebody is in trou- 
 ble! (Snow, enters.) Where are the whistles blowing? 
 
 Snow. I guess it am down cellar, I locked Miss Fen- 
 wick's nephew down dere, and I wouldn' he s'prised if 
 he's some excited. 
 
 Enter Hunt. 
 
 Hunt. Two men are breaking in a cellar window. 
 Where's Stokes? 
 
 Stokes. Right here. Where's the cellar door? 
 
 [Exit with Snow., folloived by Hunt. 
 
 Olive. Lorraine, what is going on? 
 
 Lor. I haven't the least idea. 
 
 Olive. If you would only learn to keep your eyes 
 open ! Magnolia, will you stand on your own feet ! I 
 don't know when my feet have had such a rest as they 
 have this evening! {Telephone rings.) 
 
 Jan. Hello ! Yes, just a minute. Is it Maybrook Mr. 
 Stokes is calling? 
 
 LoR. Yes, it is. For goodness' sake, hold the line I 
 
 Enter Ham., C; 
 
LINE BUSY 65 
 
 Ham. It's all right. Where's Linden? 
 Enter Lin., l., followed by Hunt., Stokes and Fen. 
 
 Lin. I'm here. They got him. 
 
 Ham. Yes. 
 
 Lor. Mr. Stokes, the telephone. 
 
 Stokes. Hello ! Maybrook 277-R ? I want Mr. Fer- 
 ris. He's gone? Say, there is something crooked about 
 
 this. I have been calling him all the evening and now 
 
 What's that? The line's been busy. Tell me something 
 I don't know! (Slams receiver into hook.) 
 
 Lin. Never mind, Mr. Stokes. I am the man Mr. 
 Ferris sent down. Miss Fenwick, I hope you will forgive 
 my intrusion in your house. My name is Roscoe Linden. 
 Mr. Ferris is a manager for the Marcus Hillson Co., 
 which I represent. I am in Mr. Ferris' office, I used to 
 be a salesman and this last month I went on the road again 
 while I followed up a chap who works with a gang and 
 makes a specialty of looting closed up houses. Mr. Ferris 
 had an old place in Maybrook cleaned out and you all 
 know what happened in the Lovell House. 
 
 Stokes. It was you who was with him when I was 
 chasing him this morning ! 
 
 Lin. No, Hamilton was with me. They are dressed 
 alike. The real crook took refuge In this cellar. That's 
 why I steered in here. He tried to make a getaway in a 
 black and white coat he found down there, but I had a 
 couple of plain clothes men outside and they've got him. 
 
 Lor. Well, that's all right, as -far as it goes, but it 
 doesn't explain the presence of my girls in the Lovell 
 House Monday night. 
 
 Stokes. Oh, I can tell you all about that. The older 
 girls wuz initiating some one into a fool society, and the 
 younger girls saw them in there and went in out of curi- 
 osity, and this chap and his bunch went in to borrow the 
 sistrum and some other old things they wanted for their 
 show. And Huntley's lady love over here waited in the 
 garden for him to come out with the sistrum • 
 
 Hunt. Say ! How the deuce do you know all this ? 
 
66 LINE BUSY 
 
 Stokes. Oh, I'm some like our friend over here. I 
 keep my eyes wide open. 
 
 Olive. You are a man after my own heart, Mi*. 
 Stokes. Magnolia, will you please go and get lost again ? 
 
 Lin. I'm sorry, Miss Fenwick, that I'm no relation to 
 you. This young man is really your nephew. 
 
 LoR. Well, how can I possibly feel sure of that? 
 
 Stokes. Oh, that's all right. He is. 
 
 LoR. Why, how do you know that? 
 
 Stokes. Oh, I went out to see Mr. Melnee a spell 
 back and I had a look at Richard when he wasn't looking. 
 I found out how he was carrying on, and I advised Mr. 
 Melnee to send him on here. He needs some one besides 
 a man with one arm to look out for him. 
 
 LoR. But— why should you 
 
 Stokes. I suppose I'll have to tell yer. I'm your 
 uncle — Jeremiah Fenwick. 
 
 LoR. You — my uncle ! 
 
 Stokes. I reckon. (Shakes hands zvith LoR.) I did 
 my own spying — and say {to Ham.) — you can go back 
 to the place you came from and tell the other branch of 
 the family I am satisfied with my niece and she gets her 
 million. 
 
 Ham. I don't know anything about the family. I was 
 following the directions of the senior member of our firm. 
 
 Stokes. Yes, I reckon. Probably you ben't to blame, 
 but you tell 'em what I say. As fer you {to Fen.), young 
 man, what about your million ? 
 
 Fen. Oh, I'm no longer a candidate for that. I with- 
 draw right now. 
 
 LoR. Uncle Jerry, your will distinctly states that 
 Richard gets his million if I am pleased with him. Well, 
 I have an idea after he has had a fair chance that I'm 
 going to be very much pleased. 
 
 Fen. Aunt Lorraine, you're a brick ! 
 
 {Both hands to Lor.) 
 
 Stokes. All right, if you want to bother with the 
 pesky critter. I wouldn't be hired. Besides, I'm going 
 
LINE BUSY 67 
 
 to be too durned busy for anything but my own affairs. 
 I'm going to marry Janice. 
 
 All. What? 
 
 Jan. Why, Mr. Stokes, I'm so surprised. 
 
 (Sits down, r. ; Stokes goes to her and leans over her 
 chair, talking to her.) 
 
 Stokes. Yes, I reckon, but you will get used to it 
 
 after a while. 
 
 Lin. {steps forward). But Mr. Stokes 
 
 LoR. Sh ! Dickie, hush ! Don't you see the line's 
 
 busy ? 
 
 CURTAIN 
 
THE PEDDLER CF HEARTS 
 
 A Play for Young People 
 By Gertrude Kneveh 
 Eight boys, six girls and chorus. Scenery, two exteriors, veiy easy ^ 
 costumes, fancy. Plays an hour. On the day of betrothal of Belrose, the 
 EH King, disguised as a Peddler of Hearts, arrives in Herzimwald, offer- 
 ing to exchange his gilded baubles for their real flesli and blood hearts. 
 He tricks every one save Gretel, the Goose Girl, who lacks the necessary 
 penny, and when the Prince, Helrose's lover, arrives he finds his beloved 
 bewitched and the holiday gaiety of the town changed to gloom. The 
 unselfish courage of Gretel and her boy lover finally prevail to lift the 
 spell and Herzimwald gets back again its warm, happy flesh and blood 
 hearts. Very good and strongly recommended. 
 Price, 2j cefits 
 
 THE TROUBLING OF BETHESDA POOL 
 
 A Comedy in Two Acts 
 Mrs. George F. Bancroft 
 Two males, twelve females. Scene, an interior ; costumes, old-fash- 
 ioned. Plays fifty minutes. Bethesda, living single and alone as the re- 
 sult of a quarrel with a youthful lover, Buckstone Bradford, learns that 
 Nan, his daughter by another woman, is being opposed in a love affair by 
 the same selfish will that ruined her own happiness. She takes a hand, 
 plans a successful elopement for the young couple, and ends by marrying 
 the irate father. Very good and strongly r commended. 
 Price, 2^ cents 
 
 THE BLOW-UP OF ALGERNON BLOW 
 
 A Farce in Two Acts 
 By Vance M. Criss 
 Eight males. Scene, an interior ; costumes, modern. Plays thirty-five 
 minutes. Blow, who " knows it all " and who lias told big stories of ad- 
 venture in all parts of the world, is finally entrapped into fighting a duel 
 with Hannibal Jones. He puts up a fair bluff at first but Jones' leputa- 
 tion and a few reminders of what might happen finally lead him to own 
 up and back down. 
 
 Price, 75 cents 
 
 THE PRIM MISS PERKINS 
 
 A Sketch in One Act 
 
 By Harry La Marr 
 
 One male, one female. Scene, an interior ; costumes, modern. Plays! 
 
 twenty minutes. Huldah Perkins advertises for a husband, nd Martin 
 
 Muldoon, a tramp, answers, but ends by not answering at all, and Huldah 
 
 marries Martin Witherspoon. Very swift and funny ;- ^ capital sketctl. 
 
 Pric(, ?j e<nts 
 
THE CHUZZLEWITS 
 
 Or, TOM PINCH 
 
 A Dramatization in Five Acts by F. E. Fowle of Charles 
 Dickens' novel " Martin Chuzzlewit " 
 
 Fifteen males, six females. Costumes of the period ; scenery, four in* 
 teriors and one exterior. Plays a full evening. This version expands the 
 story of Tom Pinch, already made popular in the comedy of that name, 
 by the addition of the highly dramatic proceedings of the Chuzzlewit 
 family, and thus provides a much stronger and more representative play. 
 All the familiar characters of the novel appear and offer a great variety 
 of exceptionally strong parts. Strongly recommended for schools. 
 Price, 2^ cents 
 
 CHARACTERS 
 
 Mr. Seth Pecksniff, architect. Lewsome. 
 Mr. Anthony Chuzzlewit. Mr. NadgetT. 
 Mr. Jonas Chuzzlewit, his Mr. Moddle. 
 
 son. Two Police Officers. 
 
 Old Martin Chuzzlewit. Mary Graham. 
 
 Martin Chuzzlewit, his Mercy Pecksniff. 
 
 grandson. Charity Pecksniff. 
 
 Tom Pinch. Sarah Gamp. 
 
 Mr. Montague Tigg. '^^t's>\Vv<\g, a friend of Sarah* > 
 
 Old Chuffey. Jane, Pecksniff's servant. 
 
 Bailey. Maid. 
 
 Mr. Mould. 
 
 SYNOPSIS 
 Act I — Parlor at Mr. Pecksniff's. Wiltshire. 
 Act II. — Room in house of Mr. Anthony Chuzzlewit. Lon4oi» 
 Act III. — Scene I : Garden at Mr. Pecksniff's. 
 
 Scene 2 : Room in an Inn at Holborn. 
 Act IV. — Scene i: Apartment at Montague Tigg's. London- 
 
 Scene 2 : At Anthony Chuzzlewit' s — same as Act II. 
 Act V. — The same as previous scene. 
 
 ONE ON DICK 
 
 A Comedy in Two Acts 
 By Gladys Ruth Bridgham 
 Six females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, one easy interior. Plays 
 one hour. Free of royalty. Just as the girls are trying on their costumes 
 for amateur theatricals in the absence of their parents, who disapprove of 
 such things. Aunt Elizabeth unexpectedly arrives on a visit, and simply 
 has to be kept in the dark. Her confusion over the strange crowd into 
 which she is plunged, and Evelyn's frantic search for some indiscreet 
 letters that happen to be on the premises, afford a very amusing and ex- 
 citing houT. Colored comedy character. Recommended. 
 Price, 2J cents 
 
BAKER'S COMIC AND DIALECT SPEAKER 
 
 One hundred and forty-three selections in prose and verse in Negro ;.iul 
 Irish Dialect. 262 pages. 
 
 Price, JO cents 
 
 BAKER'S PATRIOTIC SPEAKER 
 
 Seventy-six of the best patriotic selections in prose and verse. 149 
 pages. 
 
 Price, 30 cents 
 
 BAKER'S HUMOROUS SPEAKER 
 
 One bundled and sixty-four selections in prose and verse in Yankee 
 English, French, German and Scotch dialect. 307 pages. 
 Price, JO cents 
 
 SELECTIONS FROM STANDARD AUTHORS 
 
 Nearly one hundred popular selections, comprising gems from the best 
 American and English writers. 240 pages. 
 Price, J J cents 
 
 GEORGE RIDDLE'S READINGS 
 
 A collection of the selections identified with this popular reader, in 
 eluding many not obtainable in any other form. 
 Price, JO cents 
 
 PIECES PEOPLE PRAISE 
 
 Serious, Humorous, Pathetic, Patriotic and Dramatic 
 One hundred selections in prose and verse. Over 200 pages. 
 Price, JO cents 
 
 PIECES PEOPLE RECOMMEND 
 
 Serious, Humorous, Pathetic, Patriotic, and Dramatic 
 
 One hundred selections in prose and verse. Over 200 pages. 
 Price, JO cents 
 
 ENCORE PIECES 
 
 And Other Recitations 
 Seventy-three selections in prose and verse. 210 pages. 
 Price, JO cents 
 
 Any book in this catalogue sent post paid by mail 
 on receipt of price 
 
 Walter H. Baker & Co., 5 Hamilton Place 
 BOSTON, MASS. 
 
HALF HOURS OF VAUDEVILLE 
 
 In arranging an entertainment for club, lodge, church or society, ho\f 
 often does the committee in charge find themselves with a half-hour on 
 their hands, for which no suitable feature has been prepared. It is for 
 just such occasions that this book has been arranged. The selections are 
 all up to date, and have been written with the view of pleasing just such 
 audiences. They can be played in any lodge room, church platform, or 
 even in a parlor ; and while simple in construction, give ample opportunity 
 for the display of histrionic talent. 
 
 £_y Gordajt V. May 
 Price, 25 cents 
 
 CONTENTS 
 
 Male Femah 
 
 One Little Shoe Dramatic Sketch . i i 
 
 Just Notions Farcical " . i i 
 
 After Many Years .... Dramatic " . 2 2 
 
 A Lesson In Love .... Comedy •• .1 i 
 
 The Baby Comedy " . i i 
 
 The Baby . . . same as above, arranged for . 2 
 Vengeance Is Mine .... Tragic Sketch . 2 
 Dr. Dobbs' Assistant . • . Farcical " . 6 
 
 For the Sake of a Thousand Comedy " .2 i 
 
 Marinda's Beaus Comic Pantomime 2 I 
 
 1750-1912 f. 
 
 CASTE 
 
 An Original Comedy in Three Acts 
 
 By T. W. Robertson 
 Four males, three females. Scenery, a single interior ; costumes, 
 modern. Plays a full evening. A reproduction of the famous Boston 
 Museum prompt-book of this sterling play, containing all the customary 
 '• business " and interpolations used in the American theatre. Few plays 
 give more even and varied opportunity to its actors or more effectively 
 mingle humor and strong dramatic interest than this, and none ever en- 
 joyed wider or more enthusiastic popularity at the time of its first pro- 
 duction. Strongly recommended for amateur performance. 
 Price, 75 cents 
 
 TWO STRIKES 
 
 A Baseball Comedy in Two Acts 
 
 By Thacher Howland Guild 
 Six males, one female. Costumes, modern ; scenery, two interiors. 
 Plays an hour and a quarter. Originally produced by The Mask and 
 Bauble Society of the University of Illinois, and highly recommended foi 
 similar uses. Very easy to produce, all the parts of nearly equal oppof 
 tunity, dramatic interest unusually strong. Can be relied upon to please. 
 Pric?, 2J cents 
 
Plays and Novelties That Have Been " Winners 
 
 Males FemaUs 
 
 The Americana 1 1 
 
 Anita's Trial 1 1 
 
 Art Clubs are Trumps 12 
 
 Behind the Scenes 12 
 
 The Camp Fire Girls 15 
 
 A Case for Sherlocit Holmes 10 
 
 The Farmerette 7 
 
 Getting the Range 8 
 
 Her First Assignment 10 
 
 Hitty's Service Flag 11 
 
 Joint Owners in Spain 4 
 
 A King's Daughter li 
 
 The Knitting Club Meets 9 
 
 A Lady to Call 3 
 
 Leave it to Polly li 
 
 The Minute Man 13 
 
 Miss Fearless & Co. 10 
 
 A Modern Cinderella 16 
 
 Moth= Balls 3 
 
 Rebecca's Triumph 16 
 
 The Thirteenth Star 9 
 
 Twelve Old Maids 15 
 
 An Awkward Squad 8 
 
 The Blow-Up of Algernon Blow 8 
 The Boy Scouts 20 
 
 A Close Shave 6 
 
 The First National Boot 7 
 
 A Half- Back's Interference 10 
 
 His Father's Son 14 
 
 The Man With the Nose 8 
 
 On the Quiet 12 
 
 The People's Money 1 1 
 
 A Regular Rah I Rah I Boy 14 
 
 A Regular Scream 11 
 
 Scbmerecase in School 9 
 
 The Scoutmaster 10 
 
 The Tramps' Convention 17 
 
 The Turn in the Road 9 
 
 Wanted— A Pitcher 1 1 Vz 
 
 What They Did for Jenkins 14 2 
 
 Aunt Jerusha's Quilting Party 4 12 \% 
 
 The District School at Blueberry 
 
 Corners 12 17 i 
 
 The Emigrants' Party 24 10 i 
 
 Miss Prim's Kindergarten 10 11 i^ 
 
 A Pageant of History Any number 2 
 
 The Revel of the Year " " U 
 
 Scenes in the Union Depot " " i 
 
 Taking the Census in Bingvlile 14 8 i}^ 
 The Village Post-Office 22 20 2 ' 
 
 Women in War 1 1 }i 
 
 Time 
 
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 =v^=^ 
 

 Plays for Colleges ar 
 
 The Air Spy 
 
 Bachelor Hall 
 
 The College Chap 
 
 The Colonel's Maid 
 
 Daddy 
 
 The Deacon's Secoad Wife 
 
 The District Attoruey 
 
 The Dutch Detective 
 
 An Easy Mark 
 
 The Elopement of Ellen 
 
 Engaged by Wednesday 
 
 The Farmerette 
 
 For One Night Only 
 
 Hamilton 
 
 Higbee of Harvard 
 
 Hitty's Service Flag 
 
 The Hoodoo 
 
 The Hurdy Ourdy Olrl 
 
 Katy Did 
 
 Let's Get Married 
 
 London Assurance 
 
 Lost a Chaperon 
 
 The Man from Brandon 
 
 The Man Who Went 
 
 The Man Without a Coun.ry 
 
 Master Pierre Patella 
 
 Me and Otis 
 
 The Minute Man 
 
 Mose 
 
 Mr. Bob 
 
 Mrs. Briggs of the Poultry Yard 
 
 Nathan Hale 
 
 Nephew or Uncle 
 
 Professor Pepp 
 
 A Regiment of Two 
 
 The Revenge of Shari-Hot-Su 
 
 The Rivals 
 
 The Romancers 
 
 The Rose and the Ring 
 
 Sally Lunn 
 
 The School for Scandal 
 
 She Stoops to Conquer 
 
 Step Lively 
 
 The Submarine Shell 
 
 The Thirteenth Star 
 
 The Time of His Life 
 
 Tommy's Wife 
 
 The Twig of Thorn 
 
 Males 
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