/7/s 
 
HBRARY OF CONGRESS 
 
 Hollinger Corp. 
 
Ars Agricolaris 
 
 An Ode of Moral Sentiments 
 Addressed to Certain Farmer-Gents 
 
 BY 
 
 HENRY VAN DYKE 
 
 Read at the Farmer's Dinner 
 University Club, Jan. 23, 1913 
 
 Copyright, 1913, by Henry Van Dyke 
 

 <* <t 1 1 
 
 
 
 ^CJ.A38256 3 
 

 Ars Agricolaris 
 
 By Henry Van Dyke 
 
 A LL hail, ye famous Farmers ! 
 
 Ye vegetable-charmers, 
 
 Who know the art of making barren earth 
 
 Smile with prolific mirth 
 
 And bring forth twins or triplets at a birth ! 
 
 Ye scientific fertilizers of the soil, 
 
 And horny-handed sons of toil ! 
 
 To-night from all your arduous cares 
 released, 
 
 With manly brows no longer sweat- 
 impearled, 
 
 Ye hold your annual feast, 
 
And like the Concord farmers long ago, 
 Ye meet above the "Bridge* ' below, 
 And draw the cork heard round the world 
 
 What memories are yours ! What tales 
 Of triumph have your tongues rehearsed 
 Telling how ye have won your first 
 Potatoes from the stubborn mead 
 (Almost as many as ye sowed for seed! ) 
 
 And how the luscious cabbages and kails 
 Have bloomed before you in their bed 
 At seven dollars a head ! 
 And how your onions took a prize 
 For bringing tears into the eyes 
 Of a hard-hearted cook ! And how ye slew 
 
 The Dragon Cut-worm at a stroke ! 
 
 And how ye broke, 
 

 Routed, and put to flight the horrid crew 
 
 Of vile potato-bugs and Hessian flies ! 
 
 And how ye did not quail 
 
 Before the invading armies of San Jose Scale, 
 
 But met them bravely with your little pail 
 
 Of poison which ye put upon each tail 
 
 O'the dreadful beasts and made their cour- 
 age fail! 
 
 And how ye did acquit yourselves like 
 men 
 
 In fields of agricultural strife, and then, 
 
 Like generous warriors, sat you down 
 at ease 
 
 And gently to your gardener said "Let 
 us have Pease!" 
 
 But were here Pease ? Ah, no, dear 
 Farmers, no! 
 
 The course of Nature is not ordered so. 
 

 For when we want a vegetable most, 
 
 She holds it back; 
 
 And when in boast 
 
 To our week-endly friends 
 
 Of what we'll give them on our farm, 
 alack, 
 
 Those things the old dam, Nature, never 
 
 sends. 
 O Pease in bottles, Sparrow-grass in jars, 
 How often have ye saved from scars 
 Of shame, and deep embarrassment, 
 The disingenuous farmer-gent, 
 
 To whom some wondering guest has 
 cried, 
 
 "How do you raise such Pease and Spar- 
 row-grass ? 
 
 Whereat the farmer-gent has not denied 
 
 The compliment, but smiling has replied, 
 
"To raise such things you must have lots 
 of glass/' 
 
 From wiles like these, true Farmers, hold 
 aloof; 
 
 Accept no praise unless you have the proof. 
 
 If niggard Nature should withhold the green 
 
 And sugary Pea, welcome the humble Bean ; 
 
 Give it the place of honor at your table. 
 
 Even the easy Radish, and the Beet, 
 
 If grown by your own toil, are extra sweet ! 
 
 Let malefactors of great wealth and banker- 
 felons 
 
 Rejoice in foreign artichokes, imported 
 melons ; 
 
 But you, my Farmers, at your frugal board, 
 
 Spread forth the fare your Sabine ^Farms 
 afford. 
 
Say to Maecenas, when he is your guest, 
 
 "No peaches, try this turnip, 'tis my best." 
 
 Thus shall ye learn from labors in the field 
 
 What honesty a farmer's life may yield, 
 
 And like G. Washington in early youth, 
 
 Though cherries fail, produce a crop of 
 Truth. 
 
 But think me not too strict, O fellows of the 
 plough, 
 
 Some place for fiction in your lives I would 
 allow. 
 
 In January when the world is drear, 
 
 And bills come in, and no results appear, 
 
 And snow-storms veil the skies, 
 
 And ice the streamlet clogs, 
 
 Then you may warm your heart with pleas- 
 ant lies, 
 
And revel in the seedman's catalogues. 
 
 What visions and what dreams are there ! 
 Of cauliflowers obese, - 
 
 Of giant celery, taller than a mast,- 
 Of strawberries 
 
 Like red pincushions, round and vast,- 
 Of succulent and spicy gumbo, - 
 Of cantaloupes, as big as jumbo,- 
 Of high-strung beans without the strings, - 
 
 And of a host of other wild romantic things ! 
 
 Oh, why should Starr declare 
 
 That modern habits mental force impair? 
 
 And why should H. Marquand complain 
 
 That jokes as good as his will ne'er come 
 again ? 
 
 And why should Bridges wear a gloomy 
 mien 
 
FEB 20 1913 
 
 About the lack of fiction for his Magazine ? 
 The seedman's catalogue is all we need 
 To stir our dull imaginations 
 To new creations, 
 And lead us, by the hand 
 Of Hope, into a fairy-land. 
 
 So dream, my friendly Farmer, as you will; 
 
 And let your fancy all your gardens fill 
 
 With wondrous crops; but always recollect 
 
 That Nature gives us less than we expect. 
 
 Scorn not the city where you earn the wealth 
 
 That, spent upon your farms, renews your 
 health ; 
 
 And tell your wife, whene'er the bills have 
 shocked her, 
 
 "A country place is cheaper than a doctor/' 
 May roses bloom for you and may you find 
 Your richest harvest in a tranquil mind. 
 

LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 
 
 Id 012 227 961 3 
 
 I 
 

LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 
 
 012 227 961 3 ^