^/''>v'^1^ sychological ,utobkx;rapheries] JAMES M FLAGG 4 .*C«'^^ '.i^? Book: L ij^ ft . Copiglit}^?- CSEQUCHT DEPOSm •.7 n STYLUS EDITION VOLUME SEVEN PSYCHOLOGICAL AUTOBIOGRAPHERIES hy James M tlagg dedicated To My Faithful wife A.N.NA KATHEmME «^ «4i «^ *^ ^' «^ e.-^ ^ ^ '-^^ ^ «4*' «^ •J* PU3LISHED BY THE LITERATI, NEW YORK II.LUSTRATED COPVNIQMT 1910 / SEP 20 1916 ©CI.A437806 The cruise of the Snark 1 Innes Clarque ... 30 The Genius ... 40 The case of James Gaffeen 46 The Literary Giant 52 Meteoric Geniuses . . 59 The Mundi^ ... 64 The Mental Wreck . . 74 Murgeon ... 80 Lodbrogg the Half. Wit. 95 Telcani ... 103 Jazz Merazz ... 117 Bloody Fingers ... 123 Introdudtion to poems . . 125 The Coquette ... 126 Man and Bea^ ... 128 The Poet and the Sparrow 129 Melancholy ... 130 Aeons ago ... 131 The Literary Goat . . 132 contents The Storm . . . 133 The Cameri^ . . . 134 The Scribe . . 135 To Anna 136 Jure divino , . 137 Eternity of Dreams , 138 A Thorough Bohemian . 139 So Drooped the Girl 141 The Hell Ship . . . 145 Sacramental ... 149 Politician 150 The Death of Leonora . 151 King Death . . . 153 Immortality . . . 154 Monogamy . . . 156 The Last Look . 158 The Sky Pilot . . . 161 Eternal Solitude . 162 Serenade . . . 168 A Heart to Let . . . 169 Satan and the Poet . . 171 Lay her There . . . 173 FOREWORD Among the elements which go to the making of the true work of art, the daemonic holds fir^ place. It is the essential and peculiar quality of genius — the quality which lies beyond the reach of the mo^ exadting and intelli- gent work, as it lies beyond the search of analysis. Any man may learn the secrets of form; he may become an adept in the skill of his craft; but the final felicity of touch, the ultimate grace of effortless power, elude and baffle him. The writings of Flagg flow with the natural distincftive and deliberate grace of real literature, and that he is an arti^ of unparalled qualification cannot be denied. (Publisher. ^etancbol^' t^& vampire hat» Cons uf on mi^ bosom sat '^nb I woul6 rave but tl)at ^e flln^^ TA sweet nefeivt^e off l)ls wln()s AUTHORS NOTE The effusions of my pen, will, no doubt, throw those of a critical turn, into a fit of rage and fury ; therefore, let it be understood from the outset, that 1 am simply setting forth idiosyn- cratic psychological autobiographies, and, as 1 am not composing a novel, 1 do not deem it necessary to have any recourse to the customary devices of the literary person. Above all things, the study of the weird and fantastic has given me great delight; still, my habits of rigid thought enables me to detedl their every falsity, and, if the reader's mind is not too feeble, he may find some- thing herein to please his soul (if soul he has) Too, as far as catering to the commonplace, — - the common- place is a deadletter, and a nullity. ^uMoi. THE CRUISE OF THE SNARK Man doth not yikld himself to the angels, nor unto death utterly, save only through the weakness of his feeble will. Of my morals or of my principles I have little to say. Free-thinking and social conditions have cured me of the one, and tore me from the other. It was, if I am not mistaken, man*s in- humanity to man, that has convinced me of the cool logic that lies in the philosophy of "the survival of the fitted." After many years spent in foreign travel, 1 sailed in the year 1 907 April twenty third from the port of Frisco, on a voyage that was to extend a- round the world. I went as passenger — having no other inducement than THE CRUISE OF THE SNARK a kind of nervous re^lessness which, haunted me as a fiend. Our vessel, however, was but a forty-five foot af- fair, copper fa^ened, and built at Sausilitoof the fine^ teak. She was bent on a trip of adventure, comman- deered by Jaque London, who was its owner and a sociali^ic writer of great renown. There were but seven souls aboard the Snark including myself; Mrs Charmeois London was the only lady with the party, she was of thorough american Aock and possessed a mind of the very higher order. We were all passengers, and were at the same time the crew. We got under way in the early morning, and amid the cheers of thousands of doubting and curious spectators. For many days we rode the high seas of the great Pacific, without even the passing of another The Cruise of The Shark vessel to beguile the monotony of our course. One evening, leaning over the taff-rail, I observed a very singular, isolated cloud, to the north we^ ; it was remarkable, as well for its color, as from its being the fira we had seen lince our departure from Frisco. I watched it attentively until sunset, when it spread all at once into a long line across the heavens. My att- ention was soon afterward attraded by the dusky red appearance of the moon, and the peculiar charadler of the sea. The latter was under going a rapid change, and the water seemed more than usually difturbed. The air now became intolerably hot, and was of a very suffocating nature ; as night came on, every breath of wind died away The Cruise Of The Snark and all became calm beyond belief. However, London, who had spent the greater part of his life upon the sea, assured us that he could perceive no indication of danger, and upon this night he set no watch. I went below — but with a full presentiment of evil; indeed, every appearance warranted me in appre- hending a typhoon. I spoke of my fears to London; but he paid little or no attention to my suspicions, and walked away with a glint in his eye of utter sarcasm ; he was a man who knew no fear, and any uneasiness on the part of anyone nauseated him to the very deeped degree. However, 1 found it impossible to sleep, and about midnight I went up- on deck. And on placing my foot THE CRUISE or THE SNARK upon the upper ilep of the compan- ion-ladder, 1 was ^artled by a loud, humming noise of a mo^ peculiar nature, and 1 was only a moment in determining it for what it was — a gigantic hurricane. In the next instant, a wilderness of foam hurled us upon our beam -ends, and, rushing over us fore and aft, iwept the entire decks from ^em to Item. The extreme fury of the bla^ proved in a great measure, to be the sal- vation of the ship ; altho' completely water-logged, yet, as her ma^s had gone by the board, she rose, after a minute, heavily from the sea, and staggering awhile beneath the immense pressure of the tempeft, finally righted. By what miracle I escaped deArudtion The Cruise Of The Snark it is impossible to say. Stunned by the shock of the water, I found my- self, upon recovery, jammed in be- tween the ^ern-po^ and rudder. With great difficulty I managed to gain my feet, and looking dizzily around, was, at firit, ^ruck with the idea of our being among breakers ; so terrific, even beyond the wilder imagination, was the whirlpool of foaming waters within which we were engulfed. After a while, 1 heard the voice of London, 1 hallooed to him with all my ^rength, and presently he came reeling aft. We learned at once that three souls were all that had survived the catastrophe ; — - London, Martini, and myself. The entire remainder of the party, had, from 6 THE CRUISE Of The Snark all appearance, been swept into the sea. Without assi^ance we could expect to do little for the security of the ship, and our exertions were at fir^ paralized by the momentary ex- pedation of going down. Our cable had, of course, parted like so much thread, at the very fir^ breath of the ^orm ; while the engine, such as it was, had never been in the running. We scudded with frightful velocity before the sea, and the heavy waves beat again^ our sides in a series of horrifying thuds ; the frame work of our ^ern was shattered excessively, and, in almo^ every respedt, we had re- ceived considerable injury ; but to our extreme joy we found the pumps un- choked, and that we had made no Iw- The Cruise of The Snark great shifting of our Ballad. The main fury of the bla^ had already blown over, and we apprehended little danger from the violence of the wind ; but we looked forward to its total cessation with dismay ; well be- lieving, that, in our shattere d condition we should inevitably perish in the tremendous swell which would ensue. Yet, by some Grange idiosycrasy of fate, we were spared ; but were tossed unmercifully about the face of the deep for many days and nights -— during which our only subsistence was a small quaniiy of jaggeree, pro- cured with great difficulty from the forecastle -- - we tottered about the sea in a mo^ miserable manner, and well conscious that we were in a seldom traveled part of the globe. Again THE CRUISE OF THE SNARK we were victims of a heavy bla^, and it seemed as tho' the tempest had descended upon us with redoubled fury. Late in the afternoon it was utterly impossible to stand up against the violence of the storm ; and as the shades of night closed upon us, I had not a shadow of hope that the ves- sel would hold together until morning. By midnight we had settled very deep into the water, which was now up to the orlop deck. The rudder went soon afterward, the sea which tore it away lifting the after portion of the brig entirely from the water, a- gainst which she thumped in her de- scent with such a concussion as would be occasioned by going ashore. We had calculated that the rudder would The cruise Of The Snark hold its own to the last as it was un- usually strong, being cast in a solid piece, of the very firmest metal. We had scarcely time to draw breath after the violence of this shock when one of the most tremendous waves 1 had then ever known, broke diredtly on board of us, sweeping the companion-way clear off, burning in the hatchways, and filling every discernible quarter with water. Luckily, ju^ before midnight, all three of us had securely lashed our- selves to the remaining fragments of the windlass, lying as flat upon the deck as possible ; and it was this precaution alone that saved us from deilrudtion. As it was we were all more or less flunned by the im- mense weight of water which tumbled 10 THE CRUISE Of The Snark upon us, and which die! not roll from above us until we were nearly ex- hausted. As soon as I could recover breath, I called aloud to my com- panions. London alone replied, say- ing. "It appears to be all over with us, but let us ^rive to la^ as long as possible, then — may God have mercy on our souls." We glanced at each other as though it was for the la^ time, then quietly submitted ourselves to Fate's further lashings. The night was as dark as it possibly could be, and the horrible shrieking din and confusion which surrounded us it is useless to attempt describing. Our deck lay level with the sea or rather we were encircled with a to- wering ridge of foam, a portion of u THE CRUISE OF THE SNARK which swept over us every infant, Ahho* we lay close together, no one of us could see the other, or indeed, any portion of the brig itself, upon which we were so tempestuously hurl'd about. At intervals we called one to the other, thus endeavouring to keep alive hope, and render consolation and en- couragement to such of us as ^ood mo^ in need of it. The feeble condition of Martini made him an object of solicitude with London and 1, and we were in mom- entary expectation in finding that he had gone overboard — - yet, to render him aid was a thing altogether out of the question. Our situation was a (rightful one, and after a long, long period the day broke, but only to make vz THE CRUISE OF THE SNARK visible the horrors which surrounded ys. The Snark was a mere log, roll- ing about at the mercy of every wave ; but the gale was fa^ly decreasing, and in a short time the sea was a perfedl calm. Never before did I appreciate the blessed sunshine as now; and after some rather difficult reckoning, I man- aged to determine that we had been to sea juit twenty seven days; after being out nineteen days we had crossed into the torrid zone ; we had bee n at the mercy of the ^orm for eight days, and as we had left the Bay of Frisco April twenty third, it was now, no doubt, the twentieth of 13 The Cruise of The Snark May. The entire body of water ea^ of us was bathed in sunshine, while a mountain of fog hung op- pressively low in the we^ ; but it too, was disappearing very rapidly. We suffered mo^ly now from the terrible pangs of hunger. When- ever we looked forwdrd to means of relief that would satisfy our thir^ and hunger, our hearts sunk within us, and we were induced to regret that we had escaped the perils of the sea only to fall to a more tenible fate. We endeavoured, however, to con- sole ourselves with the hope of being speedily picked up by some vessel^ and encouraged each other to bear U The Cruise Of The Snark with fortitude the evils that might happen. London and Martini were Hretched out upon their backs from utter fatigue, while 1 sat wearily watch- ing the fog that was sliding swiftly away in the we^. The lifting of the fog was the lift- ing of my sorrow, and I shall never forget the ecstatic joy which thrilled through every particle of my frame when I perceived a large brig bear- ing down upon us, and not quite a mile away. I was to my feet in an infant ; and, ^retching out my arms in the diredtion of the vessel stood in this manner, motionless, and unable to 15 The Cruise Of The Snark articulate a syllable. My two comp- anions were equally effecfted, only in different ways. Martini danced about the deck like a madman, uttering the moit extravagant rhodomontades, inter- mingled with howls and imprecations ; while London bowed his head, open- ing and closing his hands like one about to receive the sentence of death. The vessel in sight was a large antique affair of an old English build painted black, with a tawdry gilt figure-head. She had evidently seen a great deal of rough weather, and, we sup- posed, had suffered much in the gale that had been so disastrous to our- selves ; for her fortopmail was gone, 16 THE CRUISE OF THE SNARK and some of her larboard bulwarks. When we fir^ saw her, she was as I have already said, less than a mile away to windward, bearing down upon us. The breeze was very gentle, and what aflonished us chisfly was» that she had no other sails set than her foresail and mainsail, with a flying jib — of course she came down but slowly, and our impatience a- mounted almo^ to phrenzy. The awkward manner in which she Peered, too, was remarked by the three of us, even excited as we were* She yawed about so much that once or twice we thought it impossible she 17 \ The Cruise Of The Snark could see us, and discovering no person onboard, she was about to tack and make off in another diredion. Upon each of these occasions we screamed and shouted at the top of our voices, when the Granger would appear to change for a moment her intention, and again would hold on toward us — this singular condudl being repeated two or three times, so at la^ we derived at the conclusion that the helmsman was intoxicated. We could discern no one upon her deck at no time; ^ill, she neared and now more steadily than before. She soon slid along-side and with unrestrained enthusiasm we leaped IS THE CRUISE OF THE SNARK aboard, and had litde or no trouble in this feat as she was a low built wind- jammer of Malabar teak. Shall I ever forget the triple horror that confronted us ? There were thirteen human bodies, among whom were several females, lay scattered about the deck in miserable attitudes and we plaiiiiy saw that not a soul lived on that fated vessel ! Yet we could not l^eip turning to them for did / At all ha^ard^ our lives were spared and we at once busied ourselves in ramsacking about for food and drink but there v^raA nothing of this nature to be found. 49 The Cruise of The Snark And we discovered, to our great surprise, that the ship had been in this deplorable condition for at lea^ a hundred y^ears ! To our deep sorrow we learned this, and it was both by the ship's log and other authentic records that im- pressed this fad upon us. It seemed that about a century ago. It was the Brittish convidl ship — Melborne;* which plied between England proper and her south-sea possessions. A much aged note, clutched in the hand of what had been the la^ survivor, read as follows : Oct. 8 I 797 V 1 This ship was at San a-'.^ancisco Exposition Fes, ^1916. UNDER ONE CAPTAIN SMYTHE. ED. THE CRUISE OF THE SNARK All on board are dead and I am dying, we are all prisoners save the five locked in the torture cell up in the Peerage, who are officers and vidims of this miserable mutiny ;we have become lo^ in an unknown part of the Antartic circle. We have now been frozen up for a hundred and forty days and are Carving. Robert Casement, Starving ! We ^ared about us helplessly, and daggering weakly to the companionway went below; the atmosphere was of iciness itself, and judging from the great ice cakes we found in the hold, what-with the ext- raordinary preservation of the dead, we were positive that the old brig 2\ The Cruise Of The Snark had but lately become freed from the grip of the frigid Antartic ; the ice had not yet melted, and furnished us with abundance of drinking water, and this blessing was so great, that we could not help weeping for joy. We drank heavily of the cool luscious water, and clambared back onto the deck, where we at once lay ourselves down into a deep and re^ful sleep. When I awoke some time later 1 found that my companions were ^ill reding in peaceful slumber ; finding myself alone, so to speak, my reflecfl- ions of course, were of a fearful and mo^ gloomy nature. No prospecfl 22 THE CRUISE OF THE SNARK offered itself to my view but a ling- ering death by famine, and the gnaw- ing of hunger which 1 now experienced was nearly insuportable, and I felt myself capable of going to any lengths in order to appease it. With my knife I cut away the up- per of my shoes, and endeavored to eat them, but found it utterly impos- sible to swallow a soHtary morsel, but 1 found some little satisfaction in chewing the leather and then spitting it out. On comparing the dead with the book of consignment , which 1 found in the pocket of the deceased captain it was but an easy matter to identify ?3 The cruise of the Shark all that were aboard. One of the prisoners proved to be a rather in- tere^ing personage; from all indications his name appeared to be Bernart Shaw and it seemed that he was sent over for life, charged with conducing a rad- ical journal through wich he was found guilty of high treason. His was a Satonic appearance, and across his lap lay a bread -board into which he had carved a mo^ peculiar verse, as appears ; Hurrah I hurrah, for the foaming flood Of the fiery Phlegethon, A demon bride, And devilish bridegroom side by side 24 The Cruise Of The Shark Are sailing this vessel upon ; He is an imp of the very beit blood And she is a devil of Ton. This brig is the shattered fragments of A loit ship long ago In a fanthomless bay For a cycle of years it rotting lay So the devil's employed it now. The braggadocio manner of the man instilled me with renewed cour- age and 1 resolved to live at any co^. When my companions awoke we busied ourselves in casing all the ancient ^iffs into the sea; one gha^ly old hag of an amazon, was the uglie^ mortal I had ever beheld. 25 THE Cruise Of The Shark her name, according to the ship*$ register, was Amy Parkhurst; she was charged with murder-thru-birth-con- trol, and with circulating vicious Ut- erature. We heaved her repulsive carcass into the sea at once; and it was but a few moments until we had ridden all decks of the dead. Elxcept of- course, the live that had perished up in the steerage. With an ax we chopped our way into the small, barbarous compartment, the walls and ceilings ^ill hung with hoAs of icicles, and the corpses, though lifeless a hundred years, were in a wonderful ^ate of preservation. t^ THE CRUISE OF THE SNARK London turned suddenly toward me with an expression that sent a shudder through my frame ; there was about him an air of self possession which I had not noticed in him untill now, and before he opened his lips my heart told me what he would say. He proposed, in a few words, that the men lying in death should serve us as su^enance. My mind rapidly ran over a thousand absurd projeds by which to avoid becoming a partner in the awful speculation. I thought of falling on my knees to my companions, and entreating them to entertain other views; or of sud- denly rushing to the ship's side and THE Cruise GF; THE snark plunging intq the sea ; to my mind there w^s nothing more horribly, than cannibalism, but 1 was soon brought to my, senses by the voice of Martini, who assured me that they both felt no doubt, as I myself, but something had to be done. We then determined to carry out our frightful undertaking with as lea^ concern as we could possibly assume; though we found ways of cooking the meat well, I will not dwell upon the fearful repast which immediately en- sued. Such things may be imagined, but words- have no power to impress the mind with the exquisite horror of their U THE CRUISE OF THE SNARK reality. Let suffice that we lived heartily upon this ungodly diet for twenty seven days ; the expiration of which time we landed in the Port of San Francisco. INNES C^ARQUS It may not occur to you that I am a dead man ; am, and have been for many years, Ofcourse, at the time of this writing I was quite alive ; but why Unger over the vaporous detail of a hazy past ; by this time, no doubt, my body will have returned to its original ashes, while my soul may, at this very moment, be standing at your side. Perhaps you would be pleased to know that this paper was indited in & dank and mu% tomb, that crumbles 30 INNES CLARQUE on the Hill of Sere, and lies in the center of the cemetery Pere la Chase. On the entry of the opposing forces into Paris, a beautiful young lady ar- rived at the Hotel Delorme, she was without any attendant —could scarcely speak a word of French, and appeared to be suffering with a severe attack of mental agitatioa. From her singular appearance and being alone, some delicacy was felt in receiving her. It was later learned that she was in Paris in an effort to lo- cate her betrothed, who was a young officer of some renoun; but from whom she received no tidings since the be - gining of the war. 31 INNES CLARQUE The young officer in que^ion wai aon other than myself, but while the (air Innes Clarque (for such was her name) was in search of me in Paris 1, unfortunately, was stationed on the frontier to the ea^. It seemed that my lovely Innes had fallen in with an elderly lady, who likened with kindness to her ^ory and promised her every assi^ance within her power; and the two of them concentrated every possible effort to gather in whatever clue there was, that had any bearing upon myself. All this I learned later from a young soldier of the 1 2lh. Hussars. And it was on a beautiful morning in May that the two ladies sallied forth 32 INNES CLARQUE into the great high-ways and by-ways of Paris. Those who have never be- held a metropolis in the hands of a triumphant enemy, can conjedure nothing so sinularly exciting and piduresque. Never was the ^rength and brilliancy of war more goreously displayed, than when the Parisian capital was in the hands of the teutons. Warriors of every nation wers as- sembled there, the bold and ferocious cossack, the hardy and blu^ering American, the warlike Austrian, the artistic Italian, and the crass double- fi^ed German, in fad, subjeds of all nations were promiscuously scattered throughout the city ; while the captors gaurded with lynx-eyed vigilance, le^ 33 INNES CLARQUE the ever ^ratgetic French might dis- avow their abdication, and by some sudden ruse, again bid defiance to their conquerors. The two females passed through crowds of men of every type and des- cription, when suddenly the young lady caught sight of one of my old comrads and demanded of him what ever information he may possess, the villian had followed my diredlion to the letter, and told the fair creature that I had perished in the battle of Saint Jean. This He, I figured, would save me from being forced by the law into marriage. On hearing this a wild piercing laugh buril from her bosom, and she turned and fled ; — - fled from 34 INNES CLARQUE them never to return. It was but three days later to this occurence that I re- turned from the front, and by some peculiar freak of chance I met the young soldier of the 1 2th. almo^ im- mediately. He informed me in a very few words of the terrible condition of my beloved Innes. My conscience smote me for 1 knew she was,-— or soon would be a mother, 1 resolved to be a man upon the spot, and at once set out in search for the one 1 had so sinfully wronged. It was late in the afternoon that 1 finally located her at the H otel Fabor I was too late, for she had passed away, 35 INNES CLARQUE and I shall never forget the sorrow, that at that moment, took complete possession of my soul. Reludlantly, and with a heart of lead 1 approached the bed-chamber of the departed; the room was large, and very dark, and at every ^ep within its gloomy pre- cindls 1 encountered the paraphernalia of the grave. The coffin, so a menial told me, lay surrounded by the purple curtains ju^ before my eyes, and in that coffin, he whisperingly assured me, was all that remained of my blessed Innes. Who was it that asked if I desired to view the corpse ? I had seen the lips of no one move, yet the ques- tion had been demanded, and the 36 INNES Cl-AROUE syllables ^ill lingered in the room* It was impossible to refuse, and with a sense of suffocation I dragged my- self to the side of the bed. Gently 1 uplifted the sable draperies of the curtains; as 1 let them fall they descended upon my shoulders, and shutting me thus out from the living, enclosed me in the todleil communion 4 with the dead. The very atmosphere was redolent of death; the peculiar smell of the coffin sickened me, and I fancied that a de- leterious odor was exhaling from the body. 1 would have given worlds to escape --- to fly from the pernicious influence of mortality, and breathe once again the pure air of the heavens; but Z7 INN^SCLARQUE I did not have the power to move, and there I ^ood, gazing upon the frightful length of the rigid body as it lay before me in the lidless coffin. , Did my brain reel ? or had she really turned her eyes toward me ! I did not remain to ascertain the authenticity of my suspicions, but sprang convulsively from her side, and, uttering no word, rushed forth a maniac from that apartment of triple horror, mystery and death. Long years have since rolled away, and in the tomb of my beloved de- ceased I have spent the greater part of my time; the unmanliness of my early youth has, as you see, caused the death of one of the lovelier ladies 3d INNES CLAROUE in the land, as well as bringing upon myself a life time full of grief. As I said at the very begining; I am inditing these lines in a dank and muity tomb (the tomb of the angelic Innes) that crumbles on the Hill of Sere, in the center of the cemetery Pere la Chase. THE GENIUS DU FORTVICTIME IN FORTUNEE Partous pays JE SUIS ERRENT, Et L'Horrzur de ma destinee, SEMBLE'S ACCROITRE a CHAQUE INSTANT; Pauvre Emigrant, pauvre Emigrant. It goes without saying that my name is Jazz Merrazz and upon the utterance of my euphonious appellation the whole world is touched with an inspiring tingle of pride, and I want it understood from the very be- gining that my genius is inimitable. The mephi^ophelian touch of phil- osophic philanthropy I have put to my principles and pracftices, has, if I am not mi^aken, put a quietus upon re- ligion and a feather in the conspicuous cap of Old John Science. 40 THE Genius Profoundness of thought andobser* vation has often been imputed to me as a crime; while the Pyrrhonism of my opinions has, at all times rendered me notorious. Truth, to my notion, is superficial, and, in^ead of being the depths where we seek her, is far more apt to be on the surface before our very eyes. But when we do get a fadl before our vision we will not be as able to perceive and comprehend it nearly as well, or with as much precision, should we gaze upon it with earned, direcft, and undeviating attention, as when we suffer our eye to glance in its vicinity alone. 1 was not, in my early youth, aware that this apparent 41 The Genius paradox was occasioned by the center of the visual mental area which i$ less susceptible of tangible impressions of confronting-fadts than the exterior in^indlive senses. This method of reasoning and view« ing psychological problemns is infall- ible, and it is with some avaricious hesitancy that I now make it public. It was on leaving college that 1 began to look around for a channel large enough to convey my Aore of knowledge into the thirsty desert of human ignorance. My first idea was to call the world into one big meeting and thus enligh- ten all the people of the earth at one and the same time. But this was not 42 The Genius feasible. I would have liked to pro- claimed my fund of truths from the house-tops; but the pidlure of my self in such a position was fierce ; as I might be mistaken for some big double-breamed Scissor build bringing up a Aring of telephone wires. My next idea was to write a poem — - a poem ! ! Good God, what was I thinking of. Ah, but I was going to put out a verse that would crush error, and sweep darkness from the earth by mighty strokes of the pen. Yet, it is not everyone that reads poetry; many do not believe what they do read; besides, the very form of verse steals from strength as much as it adds to grace; and to expedt a philosopher 43 THE Genius to display the whole scope and power of his philosophy in a metrical com- position, would be equivalent to expedt a giant to display his full strength in the slight step of the waltz. With this glaring discouragement in my path, I shifted my views, and resolved to become an editor. The multifarious- ness of the subjeds treated of in Journals was alluring. Again, 1 got it nix-com-fluke ! and again I was forced to seek other chan- nels. There wasn't a publisher from Hear^ up, that would tru^ their fate to my genius; and at la^ I was driven to dispair and perversion. And the klepto-plagiaria with which I was so profusly blessed, began to assert il- 44 The Genius self, and I became so cankerous that I at once began to write stinging articles free of gratis for the " Daily Ego Sup- remo," articles that played sarcastically about the word Justice, just like light- ning plays about a ruin, showing the hallowness of that which only darkness makes appear impregnably formidable. Therefore, I have resoled to write and re-write, fir^ on this, and then on that; that is, ofcourse, — if my pen is laissez faire. THE CASE OF JAMES GAFFEEN A TERM UNKNOWN TO A PEDANTIC BRAIN And unknown to philosophy's art; Mathematical skill can no knowledge OBTAIN In the intricate ways of the heart. Charles Dana Gibsen Philosophy, as we know, is but an an arti^ic arrangement of consoling thoughts, ilill, all things are phased more or less, by its persi^ent creep- ing in, upon our mental and reasoning powers. What ever were the philosophic views of James Gaffeen is a matter of little or no moment, nor was his religion to be found either here nor there. 46 The Case of James Gaffeen His career, however, intere^ed me deeply, and I whiled away many (otherwise monotonous) hours ponder- ing over his peculiar case; you may well call my intere^, morbid curiosity, but as vice is always rated as a virtue, by its possessor, I feel that 1 am ju^ified in stating that I have been marvelously blessed with a turn of mind that takes the greater delight in the weirded, and mo^ mor- bid melancholia attainable. Now the prison at Waxholm is a dreary building, and stands in a mo^ dejedted manner on the soggy side of an ancient hill, while its classic linea - ments gigantically loom above the imm- 47 THE CASE OF JAMES GAFFEEN ediate surrounding. It was at this house of durance vile, that, by pretending to be an inmate, 1 managed to live in close communion , with the outlaw, James Gaffeen. " It is a sad thing, " said he one day as we were sitting tailor fashion upon the massive ^ones that made our floor. "It is a sad thing, that a man, even for a moment, be forcibly torn from the side of one whom he loves, but ; ju^ such a case is mine; I admit, however, that 1 have lived a Htde outside the ^rid and narrow limits of the law, ^ill, I have had the remarkable success in winning the love and undivided aff- edlion of our beautiful young Queen; r--li^en!" he said, warming up to his 43 The Case Of James Gapfeen subject. "The Queen of this very country is my affinity ; I fir^ met her in the woods of Narni, she hacl» thru* some freak of chance, become sep- erated from her companions, and it was upon this specific occasion that I met her for the (ir^ time. " I was not aware that the beautiful creature before me was the Queen of my country ; so I rode roughly up to her and dismounted. She appeared to be very brave, and regarded me for some time in utter silence, but at length, as she was about to whip up her horse 1 threw my arms about her wai^ and lifted her to the ground; much to my surprise, she uttered no cry of alarm, but submitted herself 49 The Case Of James gaffeen to my embraces; — she came to visit me many times, and was, underhand, all to me that woman can be to man. But one day, an armed guard sur- rounded my cabin, and it happened that the lady of my heart was about to make her departure after paying me a short visit that this occurrence took place. It was then that I learned the identity of my local mi^ress; — ofcourse she made a pretence in the aid of my capture, but knowing that she adted thus wise to protect her honor I held my tongue. At all hazards, " he con - tinued ''the Queen's love is the key to my liberty;— why man !" he added J* there is absolutely nothing as unshak- I able as woman's love, and my inilindl- 50 The Case Op James Gaffeen ive faith in her undying affedtion can never be shattered." At this jundture the jailor itrode heavily down the tier, and stopped ab- ruptly at our door. * Gaffeen!" said he "The Queen's willmu^ be done, and the exceutioner awaits you. " THE LITERARY GIANT In the name of Jehova — rags ii** CRY OF THE JEW With me, cheap notoriety has not been a purpose^ but a passion; it is the ruling propensity of my psychology and mast be attained -— for financial compensations, or the lofty commend- ations of mankind I care but litde, and, as the wodd is in great need of ju^ such 52 The Literary Giant a man as myself, I can see no plausible reason why 1 should not ca^ my pearls before the entire swine of the universe. No doubt, all the dunderheads of today are aware of the great conseq- uence that lies in a name. American Suffraggettes knew this, and called the men all the names they could think of. Should an individual so desire, he could mold his personality into any change of character he saw fit, simply by the assumation of any name that ^rikes his fancy. My ancestors, as you are no doubt aware, were the Eskimos of Angmagsalik, and who affirm that a man consi^s but of three parts, the body, the soul, and the name. 53 The Literary Giant The la^ enters the child at the age of puberty; take me for in^ance, I'm all name, while my soul [whatever that is] and body [we know what that is] are mere bagatells, floating on the wind of the world's contempt. My own name for in^ance, which rolls in oral euphony beyond the con- ceptions of mere man and which causes all the cabaret entertainers of the cel- e^ial regions to weep with envy, ren- ders me mind you,—- not a man, nor a monkey (not so sure of the latter) nor a soul; -— whatever that is; but a name! That it is Marco Popperrelli, you know by in^indl; for it often ap- pears accross the great heavens lined out by all the satellites of kingdom- 54 The Literary Giant Come, extending from the ultimate dim thule, to £diolon*s club-house on the Styx; thus, proving beyond a doubt that malgre nous, a name is quelque chose after all. I have thought proper to premise thus much, to inable you to appreciate the way I have de nier ce que est, et d' exqlipuer ce put nest pas. It may please your fancy to learn the method of procedure that brought me fame— - simple. It w^as thus wise : taking pen in hand I wrote to the Daly-Liyer as follows : Editor, Dear Sir ;- What information have you con- cerning the young author, Marco Popperrelli ? Has he not recently 9^ The Literary Giant issued a volume of his later works, and if so, under what title? His ear- lier work promised a brilliant future. His poems were palpably the pre- cursors of a finished and pleasing style. Their di^inguishing attradlion lies in the almo^ unparalleled flow and facility of the versification. A harmony per- vades the whole, a perfedt modulation of numbers seldom surpassed and not very often equalled in composition of this class. I underhand that Marco Popperrelli resides at Bentley and is contemplating a trip abroad, is this true ? Any in- formation concerning his late^ work will greally oblige, J.M.F. 55 The LiTErtARY Giant This letter of self inquiry succeeded wonderfully; the editor bit, and I awoke on the following morning to find my- self famous. Thus encouraged, I at once penned another to Hillenbrand's Sciolist, a page very popular *mong the scissor-builds of the middle we^; it ran : "Hillenbrand's Scioli^," Editor, Dear Sir;- Please inform me through your col- umn as to some of the earlier poems and minor verses of Marco Popper- relli, whose recently published volume of poems are now on sale all over the world. The finished character of these poems has led me to make a Audy, both of them and of the author, 56 The Literary Giant and for this reason I wish to have his former productions before me. I am sure they mu^ have presaged the present acknowledged transcendence of Popperrelli. In "The Coquet" he deals with passion, humor, and sar- casm; he has emerged from ab^radt ane pure dissertation; he renders mor- ality visible and truth expressive; he gives his ideas an attradlive physiogno- my. In short, he is a fine writer, per- fected evidently, by a knowledge of the fine arts. By experience with the world and study of style, by continuous and delicate study of all that is worthy in things and men, in life and art. h has been ^ated that Popperrelli re- sides at Bentley , but this is an error. He frequently visits a friend of his 57 The Literary Giant there though, that conduds a blind- pig in the rear of a tonsorial toillette parluer; but his real home is at the foot of the town sewer in Frisco. He is said to be contemplating a pleasure trip to Yenhawk Alley, Boston. A little of your valuable space devoted to this subject will greatly edify. J.m.f, My method of procuring notice, was, as you see, a ^rategy quirk of the highest order. I felt a devilish thrill of pleasure over my situation, much like an old maid that is about to be at- tacked by a ruffian; in a word, I was elated. And am I not right when I say man is but name, soul and body ? The body, material; name immortal; and the soul, ha! ha! ha! 3$ METEORIC GENIUSES If He that writes should E'ER be slain. We PINO THAT HE'LL NE*ER WRITE AGAIN. In the begining, whenever that was, there loomed above the literary horizon a clan of puerile poets that originated, no doubt, during the days when Ned in-the-fir^-reader was a con^ituent of the literati. It seems that these bril- liants have extended thru ' all the ages, and even now, one can hardly pick up a sheet of current literature without confronting a mess of this mawkish muddle. They are usually signed by »elf %led Meteoric Geniuses — we ^9 Meteoric geniuses have but to bear in mind, that a meteor of any considerable brightness is al- ways closely pursued by a comet (an editor) with fiery wings and murderous intentions. In one hand the comet carries a pair of scissors, in the other a club. Often times a blue pencil is tucked maliciously above one ear; it is well to note the position of the scis- sors, for should the comet wear them in his waiA coat pocket, he is not an editor, but a clerk in a dry-goods ^ore and represents nothing. True genius is always hated by the majority of the editors, and if one wishes to be successful in literature, he mu^ be ^upid, pedantic, white- cravatted and hypocritical A thorough 60 Meteoric Geniuses dunderhead is often a success with an editor, where all others fail. We all are familiar with the poet that hails from the Slum-Gush school, they are a worthy lot of **Whitcombe- Longfellows'* that beg for recognition by filling children's magazines with those playfully simple, charming yet wonderfully moral Chri^mas copy ; di^inguishingly prefaced as a ^'feaj5t of good things from the always readable pen of the delightful purveyors of in- nocent juvenile in^lrudion and amuse- ment. " A run of this gaff appear s below : I Know allttUmal6 ^er eyes are ver^ blue. Ker lips ore ver? re6; but wl)at Is tl)al to Y©u? ifer name now is ^au6? al). no-um! no; ob well 'perbaf s if I M know, f erl)af :» 3 woul6'nt lell. 61 Meteoric Geniuses Knowing that the juvenile mind surfeits rapidly, they generally make a radical change in their type-face and follow up thus : ^ ou see J we^re lovers true, And there^s a saying - well That certain, certain things A swain must never tell. Then : r^ u/ swaim may sing their love, Sp sing I: **Tra, /a, la' I love my pretly lass. For I'm her dear papa !!! tMd ft^ fM» «^ ft*S! fMs> ^^> **a The . exclaimation points attached are, no doubt, to let you know at once that it is ft surprise poem; whereupon, 61 METEORIC Geniuses you are supposed to evince your sur- prise, and lay commendation upon commendation on the meritoriousness of the inimitable construction, praising at the same time, the bland sweetness so cleverly rendered through the soul of the whole by these candy-coated sciolists. But the sooner a damper is put upon their Thingom Bob adivitives ju^ that much sooner will we be freed from their ninnyfied twattle. THEMUNDIST a, SiLENCElO BONHUERl INEFFABLE MYSTREREf IENIVRANTE LANGUERt J'ECOUTEi .. .ET JE COMPRENDS CETTE VOIR SOLIT- AIRE. QUiCHATE DANS MON COEUR! '^^antom 0|>era. As to the possibility of modifieing the human self, is within the imagin- ation of man, but decidedly beyond his comprehension; ^ill, the wide spread belief in metamorphosis seems to yield emphatic affirmation and is too d^ep-seated to be utterly repudiated. 64 S THE MUNDIST The phenomena of religious con- version, of double personality, of hypnotic suggestion, or of normal and educational experiences indicate that it may itill retain a valid place in our thinking. G>uld we once peer into that dim Yalley — the subconscious self, we might well be Aartled at the undreamed of possibilities of transformation and metamorphosis. Butf if one was capable of peering into the dim and di^ant pa^ he would, beyond all doubt, be able to get aline on his future by simply garnering up fac5ts in the shifting variations of pro- gressing evolution. It is a sad thing that my bid friend Roger Casement could 65 The mundist not see, either into the distant past or even the immediate future. It is with a feeling of deep, yet moit singular friendliness I regarded Sir Roger. Thrown into his company many years ago, I at once became attracted by the oppositness of his nature to my own; his erudition was profound; his power of mind was gi- gantic, while his talents were hued and polished to the last point of capillary fineness. I felt this, and in many matters became his pupil; however, he was very poor and seemed to suf- fer, more from this maledidlion than any other misfortune, and though my wealth was all a man could wish for, 66 The Mundist the two of us were like brothers, and would often spend hour after hour pon- dering over some social or economic problem, and there were times loo, that we spent an entire night debating over topics of this nature. Sir Roger Casement soon permit- ted his principals to become perverted and, at length, he became so violently persistant in his diredt adion and other radical theories that I found it necess- ary to avoid his companionship. Several years slid by, during which I neither saw nor heard anything of my old colleague; but one beautiful June day, I was passing on horse- back through the ancient borough of Pentonville, It was a bright, beautiful 67 The mundist day; and nature seemed to be burning forth with renewed vigor and enthus- iasm. On the right, the Ochil mountains reared their lofty heads into purple heights of haze, while to the left, ranged the Cheviots. In the center of the scene gleamed the serpentine windings of the Forth, and above all on its mountain summit rose the ca^le of Edengrove; '•Like some old veteran grey in arms And rough with many a seamy scar '* As I entered the principal ^reet all was solemn silence, no bu^le nor turmoil of the natural attendants of society were to be seen or heard -— it seemed as though the angel of pen- itence had suddenly ca^ his mantle 6$ The mundist over the earth. The routine of every day life was quite forgotten— in a broad central highway, groups of citi* zens ^ood in gaping wonder, upon every countenance was an expression of fear, and if they moved, it seemed as though they were heavily depressed by some ungodly terror. I was amazed, and a melancholy gloom pervaded my spirit; a sense of insufferable ennui slowly spread over my soul. I say insufferable; for the feeling was unrelieved by any of that half -pleasurable sentiment, with which the mind usually receives even the ^erneA images of the desolate or terrible. I looked upon the scene before me with an utter depression 69 The mundist which I can compare to no earthly sensation more properly than to the feelings of one that walks a lonesome road under a ^rain of self imposed horror. There was an ieiness, a sinking and sickening of heart — an unredeem- ed dreariness of thought which no goading of the imagination could torture into aught of the sublime; for the life of me, could I thoroughly account for certain peculiar misgivings and with great reludtance — rode foward. JuA above the heads of the crowd ^ood a black solitary scaffold ; while from a huge transverse beam hung an ominous rope* I dismounted and Itood almost breathless; cold drops 70 THE MUNDiST gathered upon my brow; solemly but forcibly, a deep heavy stroke of a bell broke dismally upon the air; I Hood in sightless Hudy for some time, when again the gigantic tone rolled forth, my heart beat in a moH pe- culiar manner; and the fierce bla^of a bugle set my nerves completely up- on edge. Came the sound of clattering horse's hoois, and down a narrow tree-shaded street proceeded a line of cavalry with drawn sabres glittering in the sunshine. The crowd mechanically gave way — in the rear loomed a dark and gloomy building, the jail of Pcntonville; Father McCarroll was talking in a moH earned manner with ro The munqist ihe prospe or Tm a hood!*' f» The Mental Wreck "What do you mean, Sir ?*' he weakly fired back, trying to appear in- dignant. "Mean!" I exclaimed "Why, man you are a total mental wreck, why, say even now, at this very moment you are so far gone .....," The poor fellow began to pale, and tremble in a most violent manner, he clutched frantically at the air, mum- bled something about "I die for my cause — pearls before swine, etc, etc. etc. Then drawing from his pocket a vol- ume of "Red Ruin," read a passage or so, and forthwith fell into the street, a dead but better man. >I ■:>.■£ T.^y J '••£''.'■ Wi b'V^ ..L'U s; «■ >/y ':? v<.«v..' ..^' iiV' -jv I'-.i'j- ii^w.'S'yXi ,'C.irL;&iri4;5);S;:|ji. MURGEON 1'' ViN OU BIERC Bin pu vin Que MON VCRRC SOIT PLEIN 1 ' ••T!^6 ntftit Utt no taUi/' Blooov Mary ••*•'■(■•»' ■ ' •■■ ■, .' ■ • ' My baptismal name is Murgeon; that of my family I will not mention. Yet there is no ancestoral-race in the land more stable and time-honored than my eccentric but respedted fore- fathers. But the individuality of man re|iders> him relationless^ and the sot Mi. MURGEON called kin of one, is, after all, of but little, or no consequence. The miseries of life are far reaching, and often extend far into the houses of wealth and the mansions of mirth; but as, in ethics, evil is a consequece of good, so, in fa(5t, out of joy is sonow born. Our anguish of today can often be traced toec^asies of the pa A. The recolle who can identify the ring." However, the murderer was no where to be found in any part of the entire building, and the whole ter- rible affair remained wrapped in my^ery. 1 was almo^ upon the verge of collapse from the shock, and feeling that 1, as well as anybody else, may be able to identify the severed extrem- ity, took the hand of bloody fingers Bloody fingers and put it in my pocket. Then kissing my wife,-— my wife of a sec- ond — my dead wife farewell 1 left the house of horror at once ; taking out my watch 1 saw that but a dozen minutes had elapsed since the death wound had been inflided, the only clew, too, was that the hand of death was thrust, seemingly, from the low- er extremity of the Cardinal's cloak and at a moment when he held the holy book in one hand, while the other was slightly elevated. The extraordinary situation was really baffling, and no one ever learned that it was/, myself that had committed the deed I Not so much that 1 did not Bloody Fingers love the beautiful E^ell, but that I crav- ed to possess her entire fortune— - a fortune that fell into my hands at the moment of her death. ^ 4*