Z? F ;i.T 10 n;';)^' J ACTING PLAYS DRILLS AND MARCHES ENTERTAINMENTS A new copyright series suitable for amateur representation, especially adapted to the uses of schools. The Plays are fresh and bright; the Drills AND Marches meet the requirements of both sexes, of various ages; the ENTERTAINMENTS are the best of their sort. The Prices are Fifteen tents each, unless another price is stated. Figures in the right hand columns denote the number of characters. M, male ; F, female. One=Act Farces and Comediettas (15 CENTS EACH.) m.F. An Irish Engagement (lively and laughable) 4 2 Popping the Question (always brings down the house) 2 4 Which is Which ? (graceful, comical and bright) 3 3 Lend Me Five Shillings (provokes continuous mirth) s 2 How to Tame Your Mbther-in-Law (extravagantly comical) 4 2 Mulcahy's Cat (Irish low life— Harrigan style) 2 1 All in der Family (comic Dutch character sicetch) 4 2 Funnibone'S Fix (the woes of an Editor) 6 2 A Cup ot Tea (spirited and popular ; acts well) 1 i To Let — Furnished (has a good " dude " character) 3 i The Obstinate Family (one of the funniest of farces) 3 3 More Blunders Than One (comic Irish character) 4 3 The Stage-Struck Yankee (funny straight through) 4 2 The Vermont Wool Dealer (suits everybody) 5 3 The Women's Club ("The Broken-Hearted Club") 4 8 Twenty and Forty (has a frisky old-maid part) 4 6 Betsey Baker (creates explosive laughter) 3 2 Freezing a Mother-in-Law (a screaming farce' 3 2 At Sixes and Sevens (a gay piece — sure to make a hit) 3 4 Change Partners (comic and vivacious) 2 3 A Dark Noight's Business (full of real Irish fun) 3 i A Purtj^ Shure Cure (comic, with a temperance moral) 2 i My Neighbor's Wife (sprightly and ludicrous) 3 3 Who Got the Pig ? (An li^ish jury case) 3 i Turn Him Out (wildly farcical) 3 2 Pipes and Perdition (a funny Mother-in-Law piece) 2 2 Dot Mat Tog (Dutch and Irish courtship) 2 2 His First Brief (elicits shouts of laughter) 3 2 Dot Quied Lotchings (Dutch boarding-house sketch) 5 1 My Precious Betsey (indescribably funny) 4 4 The Ould Man's Coat-Tails (Irish farce) 3 I A Happy Pair (their quarrels and making-up are very entertaining) i i Picking up the Pieces (brilliant dialogue ; old bachelor and widow)., i i Cutoff With a Shilling (snappy, funny and brisk) 2 i Uncle's Will (one of the best of the short plays) 2 i A Case for Eviction (bright, with a comic climax) I 2 A Pretty Piece of Business (always " takes ") 2 3 Who is Who? (makes 40 minutes of laughter) 3 2 Second Sight (or " Your Fortune for a Dollir ") 4 i That Rascal Pat (the leading character is a blundering Irishman) 3 2 Good for Nothing (" Nan " is always well received) 5 i An Unexpected Fare (humorous scene at an " afternoon tea ") i 5 Ice on Parle FrancaiS (one prolonged hurrah of fun) 3 4 The Rough Diamon I (dialogue and situations excellent) 4 3 Jumbo Jum (full of genuine humor anlfun) 4 3 A Quiet Family (fetches shouts of laughter) 4 4 My Lord in Livery (provokes uproarious mirth) 5 3 A Regular Fix (an old favorite that always goes well) 6 4 HAROLD ROORBACH, Publisher, 132 Nassau St., N. Y. A Bunch of Roses J\ Burlesque musical Entertainment BY W. D. FELTER AUTHOR OF "the SWEET FAMILY," "OVER THE GARDEN WALL, "the widow's PROPOSALS," ETC. Copyright, 1898, by Harold Roorback e^^ NEW YORK HAROLD ROORBACH, PUBLISHER 132 Nassau Street L. 18011 TMP92-008872 A BUNCH OF ROSES. CAST OF CHARACTERS. Mrs. Phcebe Ann Rose,— /w« Kalamazoo. Prudence Lobelia, Polly Clorinda, Priscilla, Pamelia, Patience, Penelope, Lilly, Pansy, . The Bunch of Roses. v ] ^ ' '- Tlie Rosebuds. Violet, j Daisy, j Sally Sparks, — w/w ow/;- "thinks so." Matilda Jane, — the Hired Girl. * Melvin Melrose, — MdT only Young Man on the Spot. PROPERTIES. Washtub and board. Bottle. Two large rag dolls in long dresses and caps. Small mirror for Melrose. A large bouquet made by tying paper flowers to a dead branch, the stem being decorated with a large bow of ribbon -this .s to be brought forward by some one in the audience to Prudence, after her recitation. * This character may be impersonated by a young lady, if preferred. COSTUMES. t Mrs. Rose. Old-fashioned dress; big bonnet; faded cotton umbrella; bandbox, etc. A Bunch of Roses. Light summer dresses of a fashion three or four years old, trimmed and ruffled with colors. Funny bonnets, with gay strings tied under chin, and completely cov- ered with roses (paper roses can be used). Hand-bags and fancy work. Small parasols such as children use. Hair in cork-screw curls or hanging down back. Don't try to look " pretty," but let everything be decidedly burlesque. Sally Sparks. Short dress; gingham pinafore; hair in two braids to stick out behind ears. Matilda Jane. Calico dress ; apron. Melvin Melrose. Summer bicycle or outing suit; straw hat; neglige shirt, etc. The Rose-Buds. Short dresses ; pantalettes; funny, outlandish hats. They should be very awkward, and chew gum constantly. SCENE. The scene is supposed to represent the parlor of a country boarding house. About three feet in front of the rear wall hang two curtains to extend across the platform, leaving an opening, in the centre, of three or four feet. Behind this centre opening, hang a black cloth against the wall to form a backing for the pictures. Place curtains or screens at the sides of the platform, leaving spaces at the rear to serve as entrances, right and left. 3 chairs r. and 3 chairs l., up stage. I chair r. and i chair l., down stage. If there is sufficient space, a table back of chair L. Other furniture to dress the stage, as may be convenient. If the piece is represented on a regular stage, set a plain room scene in the same manner. ABBREVIATIONS. In observing, the actors are supposed to face the audience. R. means right ; L., left; c, centre, up stage, toward the rear; down stage, toward the audience. A BUNCH OF ROSES. As the cjirtain rises, Mrs. Rose ENTERS from R., with urn- Ore/ /a, Inpuibox, etc., and eroxses to c. She speaks breathlessly and iinpatioitly. Mrs. Rose. Well, upon my life, I wonder what sort of a place this is, anyway! I've knocked, and knocked, and knocked, and nobody seemed to pay the slightest attention to me. A nice sort of a place this must be for summer boarders ! {Looks around.) I wonder where they all are? When 1 left Kalamazoo with my lovely daughters, everybody said as how I'd wish I was I)ack home instead of being cooped up in a four-by-six room. My daughters had read so much about the girls a-going away from home to be Summer Girls at a waterin' place, that there wa"n't no peace in our family until I promised to bring them here. The advertisement that caught me read, "A nice, quiet. place with all the comforts of home, and the companionship of many charming people." {Looks around-) The place seems quiet enough, but I wonder where the charming people are. ENTER Sally Sparks, r. Mrs. R. {turns and sees her). Isn't there anybody at home? Sally (r. c). Think so. Mrs. R. (l. c.) . " Think so ! " Well, don't you know whether there is or not? Sal. Think so. Mrs. R. You're an idiot. Sal. Think so? Mrs. R. Do you work here? Sal. Think so. Mrs. R. Is your mistress at home? Sal. Think so. {Crosshis^ to \.. entrance.) Mrs. R. {crosshij^ to R.). Well, do you think you can tell her that Mrs. Phoebe Priscilla Ann Rose and daughters have arrived? Sal. Think so. {EXLT, L.) Mrs. R. {looking; after her). I wonder if that is all she can say? I hope she isn't a sample of the "charming" people we are to meet here. 6 A Bonch of Roses. ENTER Matilda Jane:, l. Mrs. R. Are you t-he kndlady, Miss Slinimens? Matilda Jane {very drcnvly). No, ma'am. Mrs. R. Are you the hired girl.? Mat. {brigJitens up). Yes, ma'am. Mrs. R. I wrote here about board for myself and my lovely daughters ; and here we arrive, and no one to meet us. Are our rooms ready? Mat. {very drawly). No, ma'am. Mrs. R. Didn't you know we were coming to-day? Mat. {bright cfis up). Yes, ma'am. Mrs. R. Are there many boarders here? Mat. No, ma'am. Mrs. R. Any gentlemen boarders? Mat. Yes, ma'am. Mrs. R. (aside). That's good. Perhaps the girls will be able to make an impression upon some of them. {Aloud.) Are they old gentlemen? Mat. No, ma'am. Mrs. R. Young? Mat. Yes, ma'am. Mrs. R. Is your mistress at home? Mat. No, ma'am. Mrs. R. Can we remain here in the parlor until our rooms are ready ? Mat. Yes, ma'am. {EXIT, l.) Mrs. R. (c). "Yes, ma'am," and "no, ma'am." What a numskull she is, to be sure ! Rather a cool reception, I think ; the landlady away, and two hired hands that don't know anything about the place. {Crosses to L.) I do wish some of those " charmino- people " would come in. {Sits, l.) " ENTER Melrose from r. Melrose. So do I. Mrs. R. {aside). What a nice young man ! He must be one of those charming people we are to meet. {Aloud.) Are you a-stop- ping here? Mel. I'm not moving, am I? Mrs. R. {aside). Inclined to be pert. {Aloud.) I mean, are you one of the summer boarders here ? Mel. Yes, I am tJie summer boarder here. {Sits, r.) Mrs. R. {interested). How many are there? Mel. One to-day ; none to-morrow. Mrs. R. {puzzled). What do you mean? Mel. Just what I say. {Leans back and crosses knee.) Mrs. R. Do you mean to say you are the only one here? Mel. I am the whole business. A Bunch of Roses. 7 Mrs. R. {aside). And here Tve just arrived with my lovely daut^hters, and only one single man to go 'round ! Mel. Yes, I've been here a week. You see. I saw an " ad. in the paper for summer boarders, where one could have all the com- forts of home and the companionship of many charming i)eoplc — Mrs. R. {inteinipting) . The same advertisement that caught me. , . Mel. And so 1 came down expecting to have a jolly good tnne ; hut you are the first person Tve seen since my arrival, except the landlady and two light-headed servants. I should have gone home before this, but Miss Slimmens told me she was expecting a Mrs. Rose and a bevy of lovely girls to-day — Mrs. R. {Jui/ipii!^ up). And here we are. Mel. {rises). Are you the Mrs. Rose who was expected? Mrs. R. I am. , , , , . ^ Mel. {crosses to her) . Then, where are your lovely daughters ? Mrs. R. Sitting out on the veranda, watchmg a chance to make an impression upon some young man. You see, this is their first season out ; and they mean to be regular summer girls, and all be- come engaged before they go home. Mel (iur?iina away; aside). And I the only man here ! Mrs R And we had laid such plans for our big entertainment that we were going to give. You know it's quite the proper caper amona summer boarders to give some grand charity benefit lor the benefit of something or other ; and we have arranged a program for the benefit of the Free Ice Fund for the Philippine islanders. What do you think of it? Mel. Immense! Simply immense ! Mrs R My daughters are all beautiful and accomplished. Mel. Must take after their ma. {Coughs.) Ahem! Have you more than two daughters? , t, i, f r. Mrs. R. Well, a few more. I have a regular Bunch ol Koses, to say nothing of my Rosebuds. Mel Do they all take part in the entertainment? Mrs. R. Every one of them ; so do I. All we need is a young man to help us out. . i -n ,• .,„^i Mel Then count upon me. Anything to kill time; and Dew-y (d'ye) know, I think free ice is just the thing to give Hawaii (awav) to the Philippine islanders? Mrs. R. You dear man ! I'll call my daughters in ; and as our rooms are not ready, we will rehearse our program here in the parlor. Let me see, your name is— ,c^. Mel. Melrose — Melvin Melrose, of Montrose, Pa. {^ay p a, 7iot Pennsylvajiia.) Mrs. R. Melrose ! Well, I don't see any reason why you shouldn't join the bunch. r /., \ Mel (aside). I'm in for it now, so here goes for some tun. (R.) Mrs R. {crosses to R., and calls). Come in, my cherubs. S A Bunch of Roses. bS'uf ^'^^^'^"^'^ "^"""^ "^'^"' P''^!^^''^ yourself for a regular feast of [Melrose 'takes out a sjiiall ?mrror from his ■pocket ■ straightens necktie, etc. ENTER the Daughters /;w// r., runnifig on sin P/e file, and forming a line across the rear of the stage; back f to andience Each carries a small parasol open, in u. ha7id, so as to screen the face from the audience. \.^T' ^i-^i-^; i "^''*"' ^""^ "" ^'"""S '"^" g-'^^e upon my daughters' l^eauty un il he s been prepared for it, for I'm always afraid the shock might shake lum. Are you quite sure you can stand it? Are you fully prepared ? Mel. (facing audience). Yes; I'm prepared for anything. \ 1 ragically.) ■' * Mrs. R. Then behold ! {All the Girls turn at once and face audience Parasols over r. shoulders. Turn to the R. so that Parasols are all at the same angle. Melrose turns l. at the same time and starts back as if shot. Girls all smile upon him.) Gnis I want to introduce all the "charming people" you are to meet here. Mr. Melrose, my daughter {first one on L.). Prudence Lobelia, who's short and sweet ; Polly Clorinda, with Trilby feet ; Priscilla, a maiden fair of face ; Pamelia, you notice, is full of grace ; Patience, they say, looks just like me ; And that is little Pe-nel-o-pe. lAll bow as if one person. Melrose Imus at same time. SONG: "How-De-Do?" ^'"^LS. We've just arrived from Kalamazoo, How-de-do? How-de-do? We're all to stay the season through; How-de-do? How-de-do? We wish we had a man like you, Who'd come on Sunday nights to woo, For we know how to bill and coo — So do you { point fim^ers at Melrose). ^EL. You bet I do. We were all brought up in Kalamazoo, How-de-do? How-de-do? A glance — just one — we'll give to you ; Huw-de-do? How-de-do? Some people say we're awfully new. But " our book we've read it through and through," And so we know a thing or two So do you {pointing) . A Bunch of Roses. Allegro. M^ HOW-DE-DO. Arranged by Laura La Grange. ^=^3^&fat*zJ ■•- tt*- -g- fetr^fc' rS"lf"*— yaoja^ te- , - g- P , -•- ••• -•- -•■ ^* *^ 55- iji* > tt*i^ -•-• -5 w j^_,.^^_,-j>_ ^^i=§Ei=gEE^g^St^^^g ^^^l^^^^^^^^g -*=^^=^^^=S^^^^^^=^ =5=^^ --=r :*= -^==^^ i£^ H^ :^iE^li=?l-"|^ =paS33: :■! — ^ :d--=j:3: ■-F— — — -— ^*' — J—. ^0 A Bunch of Roses. Mel. You bet I do. IDiirhig the song Mrs. Rose fakes (he L. front corner of stage and the girls, in order, form a line diagonally to about the centre, tip stage. Melrose stands at r front corner, partly turned to^vard them, except zvhen he S2?igs "You bet I do," which must be sung with face to audience, and a little wink. When the sirls .y/«^" How-de-do ?"//^^/ take hold of skirts with left hand and make an old-fashioned courtesy, bending the knees each time. Mrs. Kose may sino or not as she pleases. After the song, all parasols are closed to- gether. M,^^p^ Charmed, I'm sure, to meet so many lovely ladies. (To M RO^^-) You certainly have quite a family, ma'am. ^ Mrs. R. Oh. wait until you have seen all of them. ^Crosses to c.) Come right in, my Rosebuds. ENTER Rosebuds, chewing gum. All very awkward and uninteresting. Mrs. "K. {crosses back to l. ). These are mv Rosebuds, Mr. Mel- r°f ' t"^ J, ^!^ ^"'■e you will find them very interesting children indeed. Their names are Lilly, Pansy, Violet, and Dai^-. i Chil- dren grin and bow awkwardly. ) You see. we have worked for the past two months on the wardrobe for our entertainment, and as lon'^h'"S ^'■°'" ^ chorus girl to a living picture. speech." ^^' ^°''' ""'^'' ^■°" "'^ ''"''" ''■'''"' ^ "'^^'^'^ °"'" opening \_G iris sit in row of chairs, and the Rosebuds on the floor in front of them. ■' OPENING SPEECH. ; (C.) Ladies and Gentlemen : I am so glad to see so many of you present to witness our entertainment for the benefit of the Free Ice Fund for the Philippine islanders. It is quite the thing among summer boarders to raise money for some charitable objec bf SfStSd'^'f ."""■' of themselves and their accomplisliments^ My beautiful daughters are just like all the rest of the o-irls — thev t.t?}r '" '^^.^^f^'-^ '''^ Public. They ... beautiful as yoJ Hke to r^ni; n 1 '^^.'^^'■^f "^ ^"y young gentlemen here who would loinl oT W t^ 'T' .V''^ "'^>' ^? ^"^ ^^'^''^ the entertainment is going on. Without further remarks from me, we will sin- our f^^^^T''"^ '''°''"'- ^°t>^ ^^^'-^l-^ ^"^' "^"sic ;ere written'espe- Cialy for this occasion. (7}, Girls.) Prepare yourselves (TalTi. end of line.) ^All the Girls rise, the Rosebuds sta^Sng^f^o^, A Bunch of Roses. ii SONG: "Tune, " Tmmf, Tramp, Tramp, the Boys are Marching.'' If you will attention give, we will tell you, one and all. How it was we happened to come down this way ; We all hail from Kalamazoo, And before we bid adieu, You will think the Bunch of Roses very gay. Chorus : We are all considered handsome, Rosy cheeks and teeth like pearls ; We're a Bunch of Roses bright, And we sing both day and night. And we hope that you will like the Summer Girls. You have heard of us before — heard about the summer girls Who are not afraid to stay out after dark ; We all hail from Kalamazoo, Our minds made up what we will do ; And we all intend to have a little lark. Chorus : We are all considered handsome, etc. If there are any nice young men who admire Summer Girls, Just take notice of this Bunch of Roses bright ; We are each a gay coquette. And we have our hearts (Jiands on hearts^ as yet, But we all expect to lose them here to-night. Chorus : We are all considered handsome, etc. \_Repent clients, all inarching to the refrahi. Mrs. Rose leads, followed by the Girls aiid then the Rosebuds. The march niiist be governed by the size of the stage and the discretion of the stage manager. As they inarch around to the R. entrance, all EXEUNT except Mrs. Rose, Prudence, Priscilla, and Patience, wlio march arotmd and take their respective chairs. Para- sols can lie on the floor behind chairs. When all are seated, Mrs. Rose speaks: Mrs. R. Now, girl.s, remove your bonnets, and Pll try to find a spare bed to lay them away on. {All remove bonnets and give them to Mrs. R.) Though, land o' goodness, if our rooms and beds aren't ready, I don't believe the spare bedroom is either. Til go and see, anyway. While I am gone, you girls can get out your fancy work, and take a few stitches while the crowd's gathering. {EXIT Mks. Rose, with bonnets, r.) [Girls all open bags and take out fancy work — the more ridiculous the zvork is the better. Prudence. Girls, did you notice what a sweet smile that nice young man gave me just as he went out? Patience. No ; but I noticed the naughty little wink that he gave me. I think he's just too sweet to live. t2 A Bunch of Roses. Priscilla. So do I ; but I think Tve got the inside track there, and I intend to bring all my charms to bear upon him. Prud. I think Til crochet him a nice pair of yellow and red slip- pers. I know the young men just love to get slippers for presents. Pat. No, they don't, either. They like something they can keep, and so Pm going to give him my tintype, and I know he'll carry it in his inside pocket, right over his heart. PRIS. How foolish you are! (A'w.e.) You don't know much about men, or you would know that the way to their hearts is through their stomachs. So Pm going to make him some of my soda biscuits. (EA'/T, r.) Pat. {calling afttr her). Don't; if you do we sha'n't have any young man here at all ! ENTER Mrs. Rose, r. Mrs. R. (c). Now, girls, we'll begin with our program; so be ready when your time comes. {To audience.) You see, we are going to depart from the usual way of starting a program with a piano solo. Most everybody does, so the people can'talk with one another, and those who are late can come in without disturbing any one. Patience will entertain you with a song. She has such a large stock of them, I can't tell you just what it will be, but she will sing as the spirit moves her. Prepare yourselves. {Goes, l.) [Patiencp: rises ; advances to C. ; stops as if thinking; looks at pianist ; raises four finders ; sim^s two verses of " The Old Folks at Home." ' At close 'slic botvs and sits down. Burlesque tlie song. Use fumy gestures. Mrs. R. We will now exhibit a few copies of portraits of our family, taken from the old family album. Some peoj^le don't be- lieve in having albums any more, but we do; and I wouldn't part with mine for anything, if for no other reason than that the girls do so love to get it out and show it to their young men callers, and entertain them by telling who each one is, and all about them. J'rudence, you and Patience can exhibit the pictures as 1 describe them. {The girls take their places on each side of the curtains in the centre at back. In exposing the pictures, drape the curtains back, and hold them until ten is counted slowly . Then close together wJiile the next picture is being de- scribed. Repeat as before. Now, the first I would call to your notice is one of my mother, taken years ago. My, but she was a smart woman, and a powerful hand to work at fancy work and such like! This picture shows her in one of her favorite occupations. {Picture: Woman in calico dress, sleeves rolled up, in act of washing clothes at washboard in tub. F707it view. Can be represented by Sally. Father was never much of a hand to hurt himself with over-work. A Bunch of Roses. . J 3 for he generally enjoyed poor health most of the time. This picture is one that was so natural to mother, but I don't remember much about it, for all I am in it myself. He used to do a great deal of running around nights. This shows him in one of his pleasant pastimes. \Pict7ire ; Man stajtds facing audience. Trousers and shirt on; no collar ; one suspender hanging down ; hair ruffled up. Oti each arm is a baby in long dress and night-cap. Bottle in one hand marked '' .Soothing Syrup.'''' Can be done by Melrose. Aunt Maria always said she was too beautiful to be took in a pic- ture, though she was willing enough to be '■'■took'''' by some man; but the right one never came along. She always said she wouldn't mind having her face carved in marble for a Museum of Fine Arts, but after a good deal of persuading on our part, she finally con- sented to pose for a photographer, with this result. Note the won- derful facial expression. [^Picture : Old maid. Hair high on head; curls in front of ears ; high comb; low-cut dress to make neck look long and thin. She stands with back to audience. The next is a picture of me when I was a little girl. Mother always said it was a good one, and looked so much like me that hardly anybody could tell whether it was me or my twin sister Samanthy in. ^Picture: Small girl ; short dress ; pinafore; panta- lettes; big, stiff sun-bonnet drawn down so as to cover the face completely. Stands facing audience. By stnallest Rosebud. The next one is really no Ijlood relation of ours, but she lived with us so long that she seemed just like one of the family. Some think there is a family resem])Iance, but I never could see it. {^Picture: Woman 'facing audience; calico dress and apron ; red bandanna kercJiief on head ; black false face and black gloves. A typical Aunt Dinah. After pictures, the girls resume their seats. Prudence Lobelia will now give utterance to her feelings in a little recitation which, by the way, is very pathetic, and appeals to the hearts of everybody — especially the dear men. She wrote it her- self, and calls it "A Maiden's Lament." Prepare yourselves. {Sits, L.) Prudence Lobelia rises, crosses to c, and bows ; then recites the following. She must be very giddy. As she rises to recite^ Patience rises and goes out, r. A MAIDEN'S LAMENT. {Any comic recitation or monologue can be substituted Jure.') I'm dying for some one to love me ; I want him to call me his bird, J 4 A Bunch of Roses. I His cuckoo, his own little ducky, And all the sweet names ever heard. I want to be called toot-sy woot-sy, I want to be squeezed and caressed, I want him to tell me he loves me, As I lean on his masculine chest. I want him to take me to picnics, . To visit me once every day, Bring me peanuts and ice-cream and candy — To my heart he'd quite soon find a way. I'd nestle up closely beside him, I'd tell him I loved him the best ; And there, with my lips close to " hisen," I'd kiss him till he couldn't rest. I don't see how the men can resist me. For all I'm so awfully shy ; I blush — now of course I can't help it — Whenever a man passes Ijy. At times I'm distressingly giddy, , But when I'm fixed up in my l)est, I cut quite a notable figure, For I'm always so stylishly dressed. Aunt Mary thinks I am too giddy — I " ought to stop talking of beaux ;" She says, "All these men are deceitful. From their heads clear down to their toes." But she's an old maid over fifty ; With lovers she's never been blest. So I want to get married — this minute — For old maids I simply detest. Now, I hope you will all understand me When I say I'm in want of a man; For I'm just like the rest of the ladies — I'm waiting to catch what I can. So, if any young man here before me Should to-night with my charms be impressed. Come right up — and liefore all these people, In your strong, loving arms I will rest. \_Bo7Vs and EXIT, R., after 7-eceiving bouquet. Mrs. R. The Rosebuds will now entertain you with some of the latest up-to-date songs. Thev are familiar to most of you, but if you wish to obtain printed copies, you can do so by applying to any of the girls after the performance. Prepare yourselves. ENTER Pansy, r., dressed as Old Mother Hubbard Pansy {sings). Tune, "■ Old Nursery Rhymes." Old Mother Hubbard, she went to the cupboard, To get her poor doggie a bone ; When she got there, the cupboard was l>are, ^ And so the poor doggie had none. (Stands L.) A Bunch of Roses. i5 ENTER Lilly, r., dressed as Little Miss Muffett. Lilly {sings) -. Little Miss Muffet, she sat on a tuffet, Eating her curd and whey ; There came a big spider and sat down beside her, And frightened Miss Muffett away. {Stands next to PANSY.) OLD NURSERY RHYMES. Arranged by Laura La Grange. z;4E5z=t:==t^5=:=t=q=35=--tz:=^=tg--ti=ip=t:s^^ K =t=F i^iii^liiPi^iliiP ENTER Violet, r., dressed as Little Bo-Peep . Violet {sings). Little Bo-Peep has lost her sheep. And can't tell where to find them ; Leave them alone and they'll come home, Bringing their tails behind them. {Stands 7iext to Lilly.) J 6 A Bunch of Roses. ENTER Daisy, r., dressed as Little Boy Blue. Daisy {sings). Little Boy Blue, come blow your horn, The sheep's in the meadow, the cow's in the corn ; Where's the boy who looks after the sheep? He's under the haystack, fast asleep. {Stands next to Violet. ) {All sing.) Old Mother Goose gives a party to-night. To all her children dear ; So all must come and join the fun, Her old heart we will cheer. Old Mother Hubbard and Little Miss Muffett Are both on a visit to-day ; And soon Jack Sprat, with his wife so fat. Are coming down this way. Little Jack Horner, who sat in a corner, And Little Bo-Peep so true. She'll soon be seen upon the green Dancing with Little Boy Blue. Mistress Mary who's quite contrary. Surely will appear, With Old King Cole, a jolly old soul, And St. Nick bringing up in the rear. Now Tommy Tucker is in for fun. And along with Tommy, Grace ; And Johnny Long sings a funny song As the fiddlers take their place. We'll dance and sing, till the curfews ring. To our homes then one and all ; {Separate here — tivo to each entrance.) And never forget when we all met At Mother Goose's fancy ball. {EXEUNT, R. and I..) Mrs. R. Little Sally Sparks has a little piece to speak for you. It has a moral to it. I will leave you to find it out for yourselves. {Calls.) Sally! {To audience.) Prepare yourselves. ENTER Sally, luho recites. SISTER ANN'S BEAU. My sister Ann has got a beau, Who comes on Sunday night. And keeps her up — oh, awful late ! I wonder if it's right? One night he came to call on her, I hid l)chind a chair, And saw him kiss and hug her tight, Not knowing I was there. A Bunch of Roses. J 7 First time I ever knew a chair Was big enough for two ; But I saw him take her on his knee, And say, " Oh, I lub you ! " Sis' acted awful bashful like ; I knew 'twas all put on, For she had had a beau before, And knew just how 'twas done. Then with a fire-cracker large, I hit upon a plan To have some fun with my big sis', And also her young man. I don't suppose 'twas right to peek ; But p'rhaps when I've a beau, I'll likely have to do the same — And I thought I ought to know. Now, when she called him tootsy-wootz, And he called her a bird, I let that fire-cracker go — The biggest noise you ever heard. Of course they jumped, he grabbed at me, And 'cross his knee I laid ; Enough's been said — my sister Ann Is still a sour, cross old maid. {Pause.) And she says I'm the cause of it all. {EXIT, R.) [Note : Other selections, vocal or instrutiicntal vttisic, or recitations, may be introduced here at the discretion of the stage manager. Mrs. R. As a closing number to our entertainment, we will, with your kind permission, present for the first time in your city (or any other) a new Comic Operetta which was written for us, under Pen- elope's direction, by the well-known composers, Silbert and Gulli- van, and is considered their latest success. It is entitled " Johnny Jones ; " and, like all other operettas, it abounds with pretty girls, gorgeous costumes, bright music, and last, but not least, a plot ; that is, they said there was one, but we have not been able to find it yet. If anybody should happen to discover it wandering around anywhere, we will pay a liberal reward to the finder after the per- formance. The audience is requested not to make too much noise looking for it. The finale is a grand, stirring, patriotic medley in which we want you all to join. After the overture we will proceed. Prepare yourselves. {EXIT, R.) [Note : Here a piano solo may be introduced while the performers are getting ready for the ' ' Opera.''^ The idea of this bit of burlesque is that there is positively no sense or plot in the whole thing — /'/ being a " take- off " on so many of the popular operas that are either dei'oid of plot or have scarcely enough to hold them together. The girls may dress in pretty outing suits. t8 A Bunch of Roses. "JOHNNY JONES." A Burlesque Operetta in One Act. Scene. — Any old place. Time. — Last week.. Costumes. — Up to Date. CAST OF CHARACTERS. Miss Boggs Mrs. Rose. Bessie Prudence. Jessie Patience. Sue Priscilla, Mabel Pamelia. Maud Polly. Bridgeta Malona Matilda. Johnny Jones Mr. Melrose. Neighbors, Friends, and Kids. Tune, " John Brown's Body," aftet- prelude. The girls sing two lines outside, and then EN^TER, R. Each one has a letter in her hand. They stand in line and sing verse and chorus, after which they separate, R. and l. SONG. Tune, '■'■ John Brown's Body.''' We've run away from boarding-school, We'll not go back again : Our teachers are unkind to us, We look for fun in vain. We study very hard all day, and so when night has come We always \yant some fun. Chorus : We are all light-hearted maidens, Always laughing, bright and gay ; We are hoping, waiting, watching, For a man to come this way. Bessie. Well, girls, now that we have run away, what are we going to do? Jessie. I think we'd better read our letters first. All. Of course — our letters ! Bes. Hush! Some one approaches. (^Looks 'S..^ Jes. Who can it be ? Sue. Perhaps it's the teacher, Miss Boggs. Maud. May be it's a man. Mabel. Or some awful wild animal. Bes. No — (^singing outside^ — 'tis a female woman. Listen — she sings. Bridgeta {outside] sings. Tune, "Wearing of the Green"). Oh, Paddy dear, an' did ye hear The news that's goin' around? The shamrock is by law forbid To grow on Irish ground. A Bunch of Roses. 19 An' no more St. Patrick's Dny we'll kape, The color can't be seen; {ENTER, R. ; crosses to c.) For they're hangin' men and women For the wearing av the Green. {Looks around at the girls.) All. Why, it's only Bridgeta ! Brid. Shure, an' who did ye think it was? Jes. We didn't know but it might be a man. Bes. Or Miss Boggs, come to take us back to school. Jes. Has she left her room yet.? Brid. Yis, an' comin' tliis way. I thought, by tlie way she was puttin' the powder on her face, she moight be expectin' a gintleman to see her. All. a young man here — oh, no ! Maud. An unheard-of thing in these parts. Brid. Why don't ye read yer letters before she comes? I'll watch out. {C7-osses to R., and EXIT.) Bes. a good idea. \_All stand in a row iti the following order, from L. to R. : Bessie, Jessie, Sue, Mabel, Maud. Read letters. SONG: Tune, " Tramp, Tramp, Tramp, the Boys are Marching.^^ Bes. {sings'). Dearest Bess, if you don't mind, Jes. {sings). I will see you, sure, to-night ; But don't let the others know that I am there ; Sue {sings). For I want to see you, Sue ; Mab. {sings). Meet me, Mabel, just at two ; Maud {sings). Oh, you dearest little Maud, you are so fair. Bes. {sings). It's from Mr. Johnny Jones. I will meet him, yes, alone. Jes. {sings). No one else will ever know that he has come. Sue {sings). Johnny wants to see his Sue, Mab. {sings). Soon his Mabel he can woo. 20 A Bunch of Roses. Maud {sings). Now I'm happy, for I am the only one. Chorus. All i_siiig). We will each one have a sweet-heart, Johnny Jones at last has come ; And before the autumn day Shall forever pass away, All our little hearts will surely then be won. ENTER, Bridgeta, r. Brid. Here comes Miss Boggs ! Bes. She mustn't see these letters. {A /I put letters out of si'g/it.) Whom was yours from, Jessie? Jes. Oh, a lovely young man by the name of Jones. Sue. Jones ! Mab. Why, my letter was from Mr. Jones ! Maud. So was mine ! Bes. And mine, too ! How many of the Jones family are com- ing, I wonder? ENTER Miss Boggs, r. She is %)ery iigly, afid dressed very giddily. Miss Boggs. Only one that I know of. I have just received a letter from him, telling me he would call here to-day. It seems that he has seen me when I was out for my morning walk, and that I have made quite an impression upon him. All. Is his name Johnny Jones? Miss B. Yes, Johnny Jones. SONG: Tune, " John Broivn 's Body." All. The Johnny Jones are coming, coming here to-day, Hope that we will like them, hope they've come to stay ; Hope they won't be bashful, hope they will be gay, And we will have some fun. Chorus : Johnny Jones, you are my sweet-heart, You're the one I want to see ; Johnny Jones, I love you dearly — You're the only Jones for me. Miss B. Now, girls, I think you had better go and leave me here alone, for I am expecting a gentleman visitor. Bes. I am expecting one, too. Jes. And I ! All. And I ! Bes. So, you see, we are going to stay right where we are. A Bonch of Roses. 2 J ENTER Bkidgeta, witli tray a?i(f six visiting-cards. Each girl takes one. All. Mr. Johnny Jone.s. Miss B. Did they all come togetiier.? Bridgeta. Mum? Miss B. Did the Mr. Joneses all arrive at the same time.-* Brid. Shore, an' did ye think he would come in sections? Bes. You don't understand ; we mean all together. Brid. Well, as far as I could see, 'twas all together, but 1 think there's a screw loose somewhere. All. a screw loose? Brid. Yis ; fer such a quare lukin' chap Oi niver saw in all me loife. Miss B. Bridgeta, show them in. 15RID. Thim ! (^Crosses R.) Shure, an' Oi thought 'twas an "//." (/TAVT', R.) Miss B. Now, girls, as they're all arrived at the same time, we will entertain them together. I wonder if they are all good looking? Brid. {outside) . Av ye do be sure yez are all together, yez can go roight in. S^Prelude to song as Johnny Jones ENTERS, r. He crosses to c, and sings. Tune, " How-de-do?" SONG. Jones. I'm Johnny Jones of Timbuctoo, How-de-do? How-de-do? I've just dropped in to speak to you, How-de-do? How-de-do? The girls all say tra-la-la-loo When they all met me at the Zoo. They think I've got the money^ too; So do you — Girls and Miss B. Of course we do. Joneses like me are very few, How-de-do? How-de-do? That's why I have come to woo, How-de-do? How -de-do? As you are all from Kalamazoo, And I'm a Jones from Timbuctoo, Nothing can our meeting rue — How-de-do? Girls and Miss B. How-de-do? Miss B. Where are the others? Jones. Others? Bes. Yes — the rest of you. Jones. Excuse me — I'm all here. 22 A Bunch of Roses. Miss B. Are you tlie one who sent nie tliis lovely note ? Jones. I guess I must have sent you all one. Bes. You sent them all? Jones. Yes ; but I wasn't aware that you all lived here together. ■ Miss B. How did you learn our names.-' Jones. Why, I just told a young fellow that I wanted to know the names of some marriageable young ladies ; and he said he could give me some. He said you were all very rich, and every one of you looking for a husband. And as I am looking for a wife — Miss B. Yes ! yes ! Jones. And as I was looking for a wife — All {iiis/iiiig to /li/fi). Are you looking for a wife? Jones. Yes ; but you see I want only one. Bes. I am sure you could learn to love me. Jes. You don't know how divinely I can sing. Maud. And I can play the harmonica so sweetly. Sue. And I can write such beautiful poetry. Mar. And I can sew on buttons and make the best of biscuit. Mlss B. Young ladies, remember that you are only school-girls, and not old enough to think of marriage yet. Young man {crosses to /i!i/i), /am the one you seek. I can make you happy. You are just my ideal of a husband. I like your manners and your intelli- gence ; so without .saying any more about it, you may claim me as your bride. All. His bride ! Jones. But my dear madame — Miss B. Oh, you dear man ! {Arms around his )ieck.^ I have you at last ! You are all mine ! {Pattse.) Kiss me. Jones. Is this Fate, or is it — ? Miss B. Happiness ! Blissful happiness at last ! Jones. Am I really all yours. Miss B. All! All! Jones. Then I must be resigned to my fate. Bes. But how about the rest of us? Jones. I have several brothers — All {)ns/i to Itivi). Where are they? Jones. All home. Mother doesn't allow them out o' nights. All. Then we are bereft ! Jones. I think I must have strayed, for I'm sure I've been stolen. Miss B. Are you a true American? Jones. Yes, and a Jones. Miss B. Do you love the stars and stripes? Would you fight for them? {Tragically.^ Jones. Yes. {Very heroic.^ I am a Jones. Miss B. {takes his arm). We will marry to-morrow, and go to our palatial home in Jonesville. And now, as long as everything is settled, we may as well be happy. I have anticipated this for some A. Bunch of Roses. 23 time, and as we are all true-hearted American citizens, let us join in singing the old and stirring melody "Columbia, the Gem of the Ocean ; " and may you all be as liappy as I am in becoming Mrs. Johnny Jones. {Scpcuate so as to leave centre of stage open to show pic- ture. ENTER Ros^hm->s\ t/tey stand in fro/it. Two girls go up to raise curtains j others group themselves arou7id stage. Miss BoGGS and Jones standing to- gether . A II sing . SONG: Tune, "■.4idd Lang Syne.'" Before we bid you all adieu, And to your homes you go ; We'll show to you an old-time friend, Her features you will know. And when you see Columbia stand, To show to her you're true, Join in the chorus as we sing, The red, the white, the blue. FINAL SONG. '* Columbia, the Gem of the Ocean.'' ^ \Audience to join in chorus. Oh, Columbia, the Gem of the Ocean, The home of the brave and the free. The shrine of each patriot's devotion. The world offers homage to thee. Thy mandates make heroes assemble When Liberty's form stands in view, Thy banners make tyranny tremble When borne by the red, white, and blue. Chorus : When borne by the red, white, and blue, When borne by the red, white, and blue, The Army and Navy forever — Three cheers for the red, white, and blue. [Repeat Chorus. At first chorus the curtains separate, showing statue of " Columbia." This may be i}n per- sonated by Penelope, who has plenty of time to change for it. Costjune : white clinging drapery ; bare arms ; hair flowing ; crown; large flag in right hand, /ill turn toward Columbia as the curtain descetids on second chorus. THE END. Dramas and Comedies ^ (15 CENTS EACH.) W M. F. S Imogene; or, The Witch's Secret. Strong and realistic drama; 4 J acts ; 2ji hours 84^ Crawford's " Claim " (" Nugget Nell "). 4 acts ; good, rattling Western drama ; 254 hours 9 3 Tried and True. Drama of city life ; 3 acts ; 2^ hours 8 3 " Strife ! " (" Master and Men ''). The great Labor drama; 3 acts; 2]4 hours 9 4 Under a Cloud. Bright and pleasing comedy-drama; 2 acts: il4 hours 5 2 Saved From the Wreclt. Drama; serio-comic; 3 acts ; 2 hours 8 3 Between Two Fires. Drama; military plot ; 3 acts ; 2 hours 8 3 By Force of Impulse. ("Off to the War"). Comic and emotional ; 5 acts ; 2% hours 9 3 The Woven Web. Drama; strong and sparkling; 4 acts ; 2}^ hours... 7 3 Uncle Tom? Cabin. An old favorite, re-written so that it can be played in any hall ; 5 acts ; 2% hours 7 s My Awful Dad. A side-splitting comedy ; 3 acts , 2 hours 6 6 "Engaged." Society comedy; full of burlesque fun; 3 acts; 25^ hours.. 5 5 The Wanderer's Return (" Enoch Arden "). Drama, with a strong plot and effective characters ; 4 acts ; 2 J4 hours 6 4 The Cr'Cl The Jail Bird. Drama of city life, containing a vivid plot with well W diversified interest ; 5 acts ; 2J4 hours ^ 3 S Golden Gulch ("The Government Scout"). Drama that combines ^ fun, sentiment and exciting situations ; 3 acts ; 2}i hours 11 3 ^ The Man from Maine. Comedj'-drama with a wide-awake hero from ift " down East " ; 5 acts ; 2% hours g 3 \ Shaun Aroon. Stirring Drama of Home Life in Ireland:, 3 acts; 2 Y hours ._ 7 3 i "The Deacon." Comedy-drama that is simply immense; old-man ^ leading character; 5 acts; z}4 hours 6 6 y Whafs Next? Farce-comedy; 3 acts ; plays 150 minutes; raises 150 A laughs 7 4 > The New Partner. Comedy-drama; strong plot-moving episodes and # roaring comedy ; 3 acts ; 2% hours 8 4 ^ Josiah's Coiirtship. Farcical Comedy-Drama; uproarious comedy ^ features alternate with forceful, but not heavy, pathos ; 4 acts ; ^ 2 hours 7 4 i Erin Go Bragh. An up-to-date Irish Drama in 3 acts; plays 2 hours; ^ both serious and coHiic in scope ; not sensational 5 4 W Plays for Female Characters Only ^ (15 CENTS EACH.) M. F. ^ Who's to Inherit ? 1 act; brisk and comic 9 \ Mrs. Willis' Will, i act ; neat, funny and bright 5 W My Aunt's Heiress, i act ; has a " Cinderella " plot 11 A The "Sweet" Family. Musical, wise and otherwise; will make a ^ mummy laugh 8 ^ A Lesson in Elegance (" The Glass of Fashion"). Society comedy ; /k I act 4 \ Murder Will Out. i act ; humorous, with a moral 6 ^ A Slight Mistake, i act ; enforces a moral in a comic way 5 Jk Fast Friends, i act ; society quarrel and reconciliation 2 ^ A Fair Encounter, i act ; bright, with a diamond-cut-diamond plot.. 2 ^ Plays for Male Characters Only ^ (is CENTS EACH.) M. F. # The Lost Heir. Drama in 3 acts ; excellent plot of unflagging interest. 10 A " Medica." Roaring farce in i act ; sure to please 7 ^ Wanted, A Confidential Clerk. Farce in i act ; comic and spirited... 6 ^ Old Cronies. Farce in i act ; rollicking fun all through 2 ik April Fools. Farce in i act ; brisk, bright and comic 3 \ The Darkey Wood Dealer. Farce in i act ; always scores a success.. . 3 W Mischievous Bob. Comic drama in i act ; good moral 6 ^ The Wrong Bottle. Temperance sketch in i act 2 ^ Well Fixed for a Rainy Day. Temperance Drama in i act 5 S The Harvest Storm. Drama in 1 act; strong in its interest, with a Jk comic underplot lo ^ Furnished Apartments. Farce in 1 act ; very laughable in its absurd ^ complications S ^ The Widow's Proposals. A " Widow Bedott" farce in i act 3 ^ A Manager's Trials. Farce in i act ; creates shouts of laughter 9 ^ The Bachelor's Bedroom (" Two in the Morning"). Farce in I act . . 2 > The Dutchman In Ireland. Farce in i act ; good characters 3 ^ The Nagger Night Scinool. Farce in i act; a "screamer" with ^ specialties 6 \ A Holy Terror. Farce in I act ; white or black faces; specialties can " be worked in ; uproariously funny 4 ^ HAROLD ROORBACH, Publisher, 132 Nassau St., N. Y. J LIBRftRY OF CONGRESS k^'%^%^%'^'%'i 016 103 233 5 ^ *- t t Exhibition Drills and Marches (15 CENTS EACH.) The Bootblack Drill. A comic novelty drill for several boys or girls repre- senting bootblacks. It is a living picture from real life, done in motion. The Clown's Horn Drill. A fantastic drill and march for boys or young men. The performers represent clowns who go through a comical man- ual, with tin horns. Contains, also, a dumb-bell exercise which may be retained or omitted. A Dutch Flirtation. A handkerchief drill for small girls, which carries out a clever little comedy in movement. Simple, and short enough for little folks to execute without fatigue, and is at once graceful and comical. The Indian Huntresses. A bow and arrow drill for girls of any age. Pict- uresque, with graceful figures and tableau effects. John Brown's Ten Little Iniuns. A tomahawk march and drill for small boys or young men. The march, manual and chorus are all done to the old tune of the same name. Comic. The March of the Chinese Lanterns. A spectacular novelty drill and march for girls or young ladies. The drill and calisthenics are novel, and the march forms various graceful figures and pretty tableaux. Maud Muller Drill. _ A pretty pantomime drill for young ladies and gentle- men. Appropriate passages selected from Tennyson's poem are recited by a reader, while the story is acted out in marches, motions and poses. Red Riding Hood Drill, A novelty story in drill and song, for little folks. The story is represented in pantomime, with various figures, poses, mo- tions and short songs. Spring Garlands. A flower drill for young people of both sexes, represent- ing maids and gallants of ye olden tyme. Graceful calisthenic poses, evolutions with garlands and pretty marching figures, make a very pict- uresque and old-time effect. The Turk-ey Drill. A nonsense comedy song-drill for boys or young men; a suggestion of Thanksgiving Day. The Vestal Virgins. A spectacular taper-drill for girls or young ladies — a Sybil and any number of virgins. Works out a classic theme with pretty , effect. Interwoven are pose-studies, marching figures and a gallery of the Muses. The Witches' March and Broom Drill. A fantastic drill for girls or young ladies, presenting a succession of contrasts in movement and pose. It is quite novel and striking. Various Entertainments (25 CENTS EACH.) The Japanese Wedding. A pantomime representation of the wedding cere- mony as it is done in Japan. Requires 13 performers and lasts about 50 minutes. Is exceedingly effective. An Old Plantetion Night. _ A musical and elocutionary medley for a double quartet. Is not a " minstrel " show, but represents the life of the old- time darkies, interspersed with song and story. The Gypsies' Festival. A musical entertainment for children, introducing the Gypsy Queen, Fortune-teller, Yankee Peddler, and a chorus of Gyp- sies of any desired number. The Court of King Christmas. A Cantata for young folks, representing the Christmas preparations in Santa Claus land. Young people, from six to sixty, are always delighted with it. King Winter's Carnival. An operetta for children, with 10 speaking parts and chorus. The action takes place in King Winter's apartments at the North Pole. Ends in a minuet. The Fairies' Tribunal. A juvenile operetta for g principal characters and a chorus. Interspersed are pretty motion-songs, dances and marches, a drill and some good tableaux. Entertains both old and young. HAROLD ROORBACH, Publisher, 132 Nassau St., N. Y. J