T\T? AMaT-ir T.TPtRA.RY June 22, 1899 ' PUBLISHED WEEKLY Subscription Price, $7.50 THE Pb.^ PUBLISHING COnPANY Entereu at the Philadelphia Post Cffice as Se SHOKMAKER'S Best Selectioi^s FOR READINGS AND RECITATIONS Numbers 1 to 25 Now Issued Paper Binding, each number, - - 30 cents Cloth *' '' " . - . 50 " This series was formerly called ''The Elocutionist's Annual," the first 17 numbers being published under that title. The change in name is made because it is believed a more appropriate title is thus secured. Teachers, Readers, Students, and all persons who have occasion to use books of this kind, concede this to be the best series of speakers published. The differ- ent numbers are compiled by leading elocutionists of the country, who have exceptional facilities for securing selections, and whose judgment as to their merits is in- valuable. No trouble or expense is spared to obtain the very best readings and recitations, and much material is used by special arrangement with other publishers, thus securing the best selections from such American authors as Longfellow, Holmes, Whittier, Lowell, Emerson, AHce and Phoebe Gary, Mrs. Stowe, and many others. The foremost English authors are also represented, as well as the leading French and German writers. Sold by all Booksellers and Newsdealers, or mailed upon receipt of price. XHC I»EKK I»UBt,I8HING COMCPANY 923 Arcli Street Pblladelplila / A Cd^se of j^ j^ j^ M Suspension A COMEDIETTA IN ONE ACT By Louise Latham Wilson Author of* 'The Trouble a.i Sattertee's/' **The Wreck of Stebbins* Pride/' Etc. PHILADELPHIA VhE PENN publishing GOMPA.NY 1911 <> b^ f^ Copyright 1899 by The Penn Publishing Cc mpany TMP92-007481 A Case of Suspension DRAMATIS PERSONS Dorothy j Alice v Young ladies of the Seminary Mildred j Harold \ Tom V . . . Undergraduates of a CoUeg^ near by Jack j MISS Ophelia Judkins . . \ _ ^ of the Faculty Professor Emilius Edgerton f Kathleen A Ceitic maiden Jonas The Seminary "man'* Costumes as Desired. Time of Playing — One Hour. A CASE OF SUSPENSION SCENE. — A young ladies' sitting-room, ejitrance R., win' daw L., sofa and piano at back of stage, chairs and other things as desired. {Enter Kathleen, duster hi hand.) Kathleen. Faith, an' did Oi iver see the loike av tho young leddies in this Siminary. Up to some thrick from the roise av mornin' to the settin* av avenm', they do be thfe loiveliest set. An' it's Kathleen this, an' Kathleen that, and won't ye jist run up the shtairs, Kathleen, an' come down agin, till me fate are ready to dhrop off avme entirely. An' all the toime they doin' nothing but wearin' foine clothes, and paradin' out around so's the young college fellers'U take notice. An' me driv to death waitm' on them to earn the little bit that Oi have to live on. Sure, Oi'll get aven wid 'em some foine day for all the exthra trouble they're always makin' me. What's this ? Miss Dorothy's new bonnet, 01 do belave, leftlayin' on the chair so careless loike. {Tries it on.) Faith, but I think that must look foine. An' here's one of them feather bo-eys, too. Ain't that ilegant, now ? {Footsteps heard outside.) Hist ! What's that ? An' me wid the bonnet on ! {Hastily hides behind sofa as DOROTHY enters ; DOROTHY carries two bottles of olives, and some fruit.) Dorothy {breathlessly). Dear me, but that was a nar- row escape ! Whew ! Just think of running into Judkins when I was flying from the kitchen with these things for our spread. She'd have asked some rather embarrassing ques- tions, I fear. Now I believe. I'll put my things on, and go down the street to meet Mildred, so she won't come in the front way. and get caught. Where's my hat ? — {Searches.) A CASE OF SUSPENSIOJT That's queer ! I left it right here when I went downstairs. Weil, probably one of the girls has it on. They don't seem to know how to discriminate between their clothes and mine, anyway. {Ejiter Alice.) Alice. Oh, Dorothy. You back so soon .'* Did you get the things ? Dorothy. Didn't I, though ! Just look on the table. Alice. Two lovely bottles ! And oranges ! You dear girl ! How did you ever manage it ? Dorothy. Well, I had a time. I went bravely down to the kitchen, and stole them, absolutely stole them, which was a perfect miracle, for the cook was right there. xA.nd when I was coining back with them, 1 met Judkins coming rigl^t down the hall. Alice. Oh, you didn't ! Dorothy. Yes, and she drew herself up and said in her most majestic tones (that always reminds me of the time she found us on the annex roof,) " My dear Miss Talcott I wish to speak to you a moment. " Alice. Oh, what did you do ? Dorothy. I pretended not to hear her, and I just gath- ered up my skirts and flew. And she knows 1 couldn't help but hear. So I expect her up here any minute. Alice. You brave girl ! — Well, I think vve'd better get our books out where we can grab them in case of an emer- gency. Better have her come now than later, when the boys are here. Dorothy. Oh, yes, much better. I do hope Mildred won't get caught. You know she went down town to invest in some things for our spread, and now that Judkins has one little suspicion, she will keep her eagle eye out for more evidence. You know, it absoluiely makes me shudder, that eye of Judkms's. By the way, Alice, have you seen my new hat anywhere 1 Alice. Certainly, about an hour ago, on that chair„ You never do put your things up, you know, Dorothy. Dorothy. I knew I left it there. And I've hunted and hunted, and I can't tind it anywhere. I believe Mildred wore it down town. (Kathleen carelessly raises head, so that hat comes jusi above edi^e of sofa.) Alice \looking across). Well, I guess you didn't look "^ery hard when you hunted. I see it now. A CASE OF SUSPENSION J Dorothy. Where ? Well, I declare ! I know it wasn't there before. (S/i^ attempts to seize it — hat suddenly disappears^ Dorothy {screams). Oh, it moved ! Alice. Moved ? How could it 1 Dorothy. But it did ! And I think it must be a man— a burg-lar, probably, and he's taken it for a disguise. Alice, Oh, don't breathe such a thing, for mercy's sake \ If he thinks we suspect him, he'll come out, and there's no telling what he will do ! We must be perlectly cool. ( Wildly paces up and down the floor.) Dorothy. Oh, yes, we must be calm ! ( Wringing hands.") Oh, what shall we do ! {Steps heard; girls in fear and trembling fly to doorj open it a crack.) Alice. Who's that ? Oh ! It's you ! {Enter Mildred, carrying box of crackers, etc.) Mildred. Oh, girls ! I've just had a narrow escape — so exciting — Alice. Ss-h-h-h ! There's a burglar in the room ! Mildred ^screams). Oh ! Where t What for ? Dorothy. S-s-h-h-h ! He's behind that sofa, and he's disguised ! Mildred, he's got our clothes on ! Mildred. O-o-o-h-h-h ! Alice. Don't scream, Mildred, you must keep calm, as Dorothy and I are doing, or he'll come out, and there's no telling what he will do. Mildred. But what shall we do ? We can't stay in here with him. He might get tired, and come out anyway. Dorothy. S-s-h-h-h ! Come over here, where he can't hear what I say ! I'm going down for Jonas ! Alice. I'll go with you. Mildred. So will I. Dorothy. No, you can't. It isn't safe to leave him alone here ; he — he might eat up the spread. You just wait a minute. {Exit Dorothy.) [A move7nent from behind sofa ; girls scream ; presently Jonas e?tters, with a large pitchfork in otie hand, and a piece of rope in the other. Dorothy follows him.) Jonas. ?^aoNy, whar'd yeou say the fellah was ? 8 A CASE OF SUSPENSION Dorothy. Right there, behind the sofa. Mildred. Oh, Jonas ! He may be armed ! Be careful ] (Jonas very cautiously moves sofa and discloses Kath- leen.) Jonas. Good land of liberty ! What be yeou a-doirt' here ? Dorothy. My new hat on you ! INIlLDRED. You wretch ! — to frighten us so ! Alice. Miss Judkins shall hear ot this, Kathleen. (Kathleen sobs.) Jonas. Naow, don't be too hard on the gal. What ever was you doin*, Katie, raisin' up sech a row ? Stop oiym* 'n' speak up, naow, there's a good gal. Kathleen {sobbing). Faith, thin, an' Oi was.n't doin'' noth- in* to hurt nobody. Oi jist came in a-dhusvin*, whin I set Miss Dorothy's bonnet, and Oi koind av tnried it on, loike. Thin whin Oi heard the young leddies come in, Oi jist moved the sofy a mite, and sot on the flure to dusi the base boards a bit, an' Oi've been here iver since. Aii' whin Oi heard thim talkin' so terrible about burglars, bure, Oi was tha< scared, Oi cudn't move hand ner fut av me ! Jonas. Naow, that's a purty tolerable yarn, ain't it ! Dorothy. Kathleen, do you expect us to believe tha.T rubbish ? I shall report you to Miss Judkins immediately Kathleen {drying tears). Faith, thin, an' if that's th;; way it is, there'll be two reports comin* in to Miss Judkins .♦ As sure as me name is Kathleen O'Brady, Oi'll inform aboui the gintlemen what's comin' in here to-night to your little. .shpread, an* the two little bottles what you shtole, yes, absho-- lutely shtole, from the kitchen, an' a lew other things it's me good luck to know ! Alice. Good heavens, girls ! {All look blank.) Jonas {chuckling). Wal, Katie, my gal, I bet yeou've outwitted 'em this time, sure enough. Naow, what (\o you calculate to do abaout it ? Fight it aout ? Dorothy. I don't see any way out of it. She has evi- dently overheard. Kathleen, can you keep a secret ? Kathleen. It depinds, ma'am. If it's to me advantage, Oi can guard a secret as I would me loife. Dorothy. Well, now, see here. Ot course your conduct has been scandalous, perfectly scandalous ! But we will overlook it this time on condition that you will keep still A CASE OF SUSPENSIOIf (^ about anything you may have overheard, and on conditioc that you will lend us your clothes basket. Kathleen. Bless your koind heart, Oi'll promise ye any- thing-. An' Oi'd loike proper well to help ye this avenin' ; put what would ye be wantin' a clothes basket for ? Dorothy. Never mind; you just bring it up, and re- member ! — if you ever breathe about this, it will cost you your situation. Kathleen. Yis, mum. Kathleen exits.) Mildred {calling). Oh, Kathleen ! Kathleen {frojn outside). Yis, mum.? Mildred. Steer clear of Miss Judkins ! Kathleen. Yis, mum ! (Jonas picks up pitchforJz a?id rope ; mo7Jes toward door.) Alice. No, don't go, Jonas, we want you. See, sit down here. (She seats Jonas on sofa, DOROTVLY puts pillow at his back, Alice sits on right side of him, DOROTHY sits on left, Mildred on stool at feet.) Alice. Now you know we think everything of you, don't you, Jonas ? Jonas [grinning). What be you young ones up to naow ? Mildred. But we do, Jonas ! You've always been sa good to us. I shall never forget the time you let me in the library window. Dorothy. And I shall always swell with gratitude when I thmk of the time you waited for me till two o'clock witii that ladder. Alice. We can never, never repay you, Jonas, for all your goodness. Jonas. Wal, as near as 1 can figger, thet means thftt there's some new scrape a-hangin' in the air, 'n* yeou want to git me into it. I'm gitting pretty old fer sech tricks. Dorothy. Oh, no, you aren't ! You're just too young and lovely for anything ! Jonas. Wal, naow, thet does saound pretty tolerable, don't it? No man can't refuse nothing after thet ! Aout with yer scheme. Dorothy. Oh, it's no scheme, Jonas ! We just want you to tell us how much a — well, an object, a heavy ob;ecl weighs. Jonas. Wal, naow, thet's speakin' pretty gener?»lly, "They varies, accordin* to their size an' weight. 10 A CASE OF SUSPENSION MiLDRED. Well, Jonas, just suppose an object that was about — several feet long, and — well, two feet broad. Jonas. Haow thick through ? Mildred. Oh ! I'm not sure — about a foot, I guess. Jonas. Animal, vegeterble, 'r mineral ? All. Oh ! — animal. Jonas. Wal, supposin' 'twas a hawg, it'd weigh — Alice. Jonas, you're just horrid. Now be good, and tell us how much an average-sized — well, man — would weigh. You know that's what we meant, all the time. Jonas. Land, haow was I to know 1 Wal, if it's a man, I've seen 'em that'd weigh upwards of three hundred paoiinds. There's Professor Hendly, naow — Mildred. Oh ! Jonas, we don't care about him. We want an average weight like — well, anybody. Jonas. Oh ! Wal, I sh'd figger it at about a hundred 'n' fifty paounds, more 'r less. Dorothy. Well, Jonas, have you got a rope that would hold a very heavy weight — say about one hundred and fifty pounds ? Jonas. Happy days ! Yeou ain't goin' to hang nobody, be ye ? Alice. Of course not, Jonas. Jonas. Wal, they ain't no tellin' what yeou will do next, n' 1 felt kind o' oneasy fer a minute. Naow, I sh'd jedge that this here rope 'd be abaout what yeou'd want. It's good and strong, 'n' yeou didn't need it fer no burglar. Dorothy. Do you suppose that's long enough to reach from — from a window to the ground, for instance 1 Jonas. Land, yes, 'n' plenty left over. Mildred. Then, Jonas, if you'll just let us keep that rope, we'll be awfully obliged to you. Jonas. Sartinly, yeou can hev the rope, 'n' welcome. I knew there was something up the minute I see all them vittles settin' around. But I'm dreadful afraid yeou young folks is gettin' in a deeper scrape 'n' yeou've calculated on this trip. Mildred. Oh ! don't you worry, Jonas, Jonas. Wal, if anybody happens to ask yeou, yeou can tell 'em that old Jonas don't know nothin' about yer jamboree. {Exit Jonas.) Dorothy {examiniiig rope). I do hope it's strong enough. It would be awful if it should break and let them down. A CASE OF SUSPENSION IX {Enter Kathleen, with basket) Kathleen. Faith, 'n' such a toime as Oi've had. Oi was list comin' down the dinin' hall wid me basket, whin who should come in but Miss Judkins, and wid her Pro- fessor Edgerton. An' so Oi had to hoide in the chiny closet, as the quickest place to be got at. An' they was a-talkin' away about how discipline must be maintained in this school, and the Professor he says as how Miss Judkins didn't kape a strict enough eye on her young leddies. Alice. Oh, glory ! Kathleen, That's jist what Oi think mesilf, mum ; an' then Miss Judkins says, says she, what's the matter wid 'em now, or words av loike manin'. An' thin, says Professor Edgerton, they's somethin' in the air to-day, sure, says he. An' he told as how he see Miss Mildred down to the bakery in study hours, an' as how the hull lot of ye seemed so kind of restless an' onasey loike, that Oi trimbled in me shoes fer ye. An' thin they wint, an' Oi came quick to warn ye. Mildred. Thank you. Kathleen. Now you can go. And if you see Miss Judkins coming for our door, just cough good and loud. Kathleen. Oi will, mum. {Exit Kathleen.) Dorothy. Now the only safe thing to do is to put all these articles out of sight as quickly as we can. You bring the basket here, Alice, and we'll put the rope and provisions inside, and then shove the whole thing under the sofa here. (Kathleen coughs, outside.) Mildred. Do you hear that cough ? Hurry, hurry ! Alice. Now all the evidences are cleared away, and it must be tea time. {Bell rings offl..) There's the bell now. Come on ; we'll have to go for appearance's sake. There's another cough. Come, girls ! {All exit.) {Enter Professor Edgerton.) Professor. Ah I observe that the room is empty, quite empty, and I regard it as a duty — yes, quite a duty — to make a tew — ah ! — investigations. I have every reason to think that something very unusual is brewing for tonight, and these things should be thoroughly, quite thoroughly, investi- gated, and managed with a firm hand. Miss Ophelia Judkins 12 A CASE OF SUSPENSION ^s a very estimable lady, but I fear — I very much fear- that she does not thoroughly investigate things. {Looking beneath sofa.) Aha ! what is this ? A large basket, and in an extremely peculiar place ! It is really my duty to examine the contents. How very odd ! Candy — oranges — olives — cakes — ah ! a long, stout rope. Now I will replace these things quite as I lound them, and wait for developments by the young ladies. I now know quite whom to watch. In- deed, my dear young ladies, two can play at this little — ahem — game, as it were. {Low whistle is heard outside of window ; PROFESSOR listens. Another is heard.) Can it be that that whistle and this basket bear any intimate rela- tionship with each other ! I regard it as a duty, yes, as a duty, to investigate. (Steps to one side of windotv, careful not to be seen from outside. Low w?iistle heard again.) Professor. {Whistles same way.) Man Outside. {Tiuo short whistles.) Professor. {Two short whistles.) Man Outside. {One long, two short.) Professor. {One long, two short.) Man Outside. {Three prolonged.) Professor. {Three prolonged.) Man {in low voice). It's all ' right, then, isn't it ? We'll be around after supper ? Whistle once for yes. Professor. ( Whistles.) Man. Say, do you suppose old Edgerton is on to us ? He's the worst man in the whole Faculty to shadow a fellow. Professor {silently shakes fists, ujiobserved. Then leans toward window). S-s-h-h-h ! Man. All right. It know it isn't safe to stand here. But whistle just once if you're entirely alone. Professor. ( Whistles.) Man {voice still lower). Say, dear, I want to tell you something before the crowd comes up from supper. You looked awfully sweet last night. Can you meet me in the same place to-morrow t Professor. ( Whistles.) Man. All right, dear. I wish it wasn't so dark, so I could see you. Good-bye. I'll be around soon. Professor {turning froin window). I see that it was my duty, yes, quite my duty, to make these little investiga- tions. Yes, good-bye, I will be around soon, also, as it were; {^Cautiously exits.) A CASE OF SUSPENSION I3 {Enter Alice, Dorothy, Mildred.) Alice. At last we're safely here again. And I declare— {looks at watch) it's time the boys were here. Close the door, Mildred. Dorothy, you help Mildred fix the spread, and I'll tie the rope on the basket. ( While they are busy at preparations, low whistle is heard.) Dorothy {Jumping up). That's Tom, I know ! Mildred. No, Dorothy, I'm positive it's Harold ! Alice. And I'm sure it's Jack, so now 1 {Basket is softly let down through window — then girls pull very hard, and tiAROLD climbs in over sill.) Harold. Whew ! But it's a shaky sensation to dangle between earth and sky and wonder how long you girls can hang on to the rope ! I thought once you'd drop me ! I'm glad I'm in. Hello, Mildred ! Mildred. S-s-h-h-h ! Harold, don't breathe ! We've been suspected and watched all day, and we must be so careful 1 {Low z^ his tie heard outside.) Dorothy. I know that's Tom. Harold. I guess you're right. {Leans over window ^ calls softly >j Hello, Tom ! Tom. Don't talk — just get me up as soon as you can. jl'm being shadowed. {Basket is hastily let down — they pull him in.) Alice. You're a great help, Harold. (Tom climbs in over sill.) ' Tom. Holy smoke ! But I've had a time ! Met Profes- sor Edgerton down town, and he stuck to me like a brother. Asked me where I was going, and when I said I was just strolling around, the old fellow said 'twas such a fine evening he believed he'd go alorig. Dorothy. How did you ever get rid of him ? Tom. Well, we walked along for a while like a couple of long parted chums, and I tried to shake him all kinds of ways, but it was no good — Mildred. Hush ! You mustn't talk so loud ? Tom. And we'd be walking yet if it hadn't been for Jack. We met him on Elm Street, and he saw through the little 14 A CASE OF SUSPENSIOX game at once. And he said, serious as a deacon, — " Tom, have you forgotten that you were going to coach poor Brown to-night? He's waiting for you now!" Of course the Professor couldn't keep me from such a righteous act of mercy, so 1 broke away. But I'm dead sure that he's shadowed me up here. Alice. Oh, poor Jack ! He'll be caught ! Where did he go ? Harold. Don't you worry — Jack's capable of taking care of himself. Just tell me if those things are to eat? I'm awfully hungry. Dorothy. Well, you can't have a mouthful till we say you may. We're going to wait for Jack. {Another low whistle outside.) Alice. Here he is now ! Let dowm the basket, quick. {Basket let down, rope drawn half way tip.) Mildred {leani7tg ovtr sill). How old the moonlight makes him look ! O-o-o-h-h ! don't pull him in ! Others [amazed). Why ? Why ? What's the matter ? Mildred {catching rope). Don't pull one inch ! It isn't Jack ! Othe-rs. Not Jack? Who? Who? Mildred. I'm positive it's— it's — Professor Edgerton. Others. It can't be ! {They lea?t over sill.) It is ! It is! Harold. By Jove I ^ *• Tom. Well, we're done for now. Dorothy. Done for 1 Indeed we're not ! If that's Professor Edgerton, he's where he has no business to be, so we'll just let him hang where he is for a while. Others. Good ! Capital ! Oh, what a joke on the Pro- fessor ! Dorothy. Now, keep still, everybody, and we'll have some fun. {Leaning out — politely). Good-evening, Pro- fessor ! Professor. Young ladies, I have long suspected your conduct, and have endeavored, by means of this scheme^ which I think is remarkably clever, to obtain proof of it. I have now obtained all that I judge necessary, and I feel com- pelled to take severe measures with you all. I will imme- diately turn the whole matter over to the Faculty. Dorothy {sweetly). You can't till you get down, Pro- fessor. A CASE OF SUSPENSION 1 5 Professor. I was about to request you, young woman, to lower this basket at once. Dorothy. Oh, Professor ! Pray don't go yet ! You have onlyjust come ! Professor. Indeed, young woman, this lightness is un- seemly. I command you to obey at once ! Mildred {mockingly). But we teel it a duty, yes, quite a duty, to keep you — ah — where you are ! Professor. I never heard of such unadulterated impu- dence in my life ! I'll have you all suspended ! .•'^-TOM. Meanwhile, Professor, we take great pleasure in suspending you ! Professor. You young upstart ! Am I to be dangled here between heaven and earth at the mercy of a pack of undergraduates ? Dorothy. We're awfully sorry for you, Professor ! And it must be dreadfully cold out there — but you know you got yourself into this scrap Alice. Just think, Professor, what fun it would be if any one should pass by underneath I Professor {groajis). Harold. Suffering Moses ! but isn't this a lark ! Professor {with the energy of despair). Young people, I command that you lower this apparatus immediately ! Dorothy. We're in command now, Professor. But since our time is flying, and you're slowly congealing out there, we'll let you down on one condition. Professor. Ami, a member of the Faculty, to submit to your conditions t Dorothy. Why, no, not necessarily. Perhaps you would rather hang there. We can tie down the ropes and close the window. Professor. What are your conditions ? Dorothy. That you never, never breathe a word about our spread, or anything else you may have seen, to any liv- ing soul ! Professor. I can't promise that. Dorothy. All right. Professor. We'll leave you out there to wrestle with your conscience awhile ! Tie him up, Harold. Harold. Don't wriggle any more than you can help, Professor, because I'm afraid these ropes aren't very strong ! Professor. Here — hold on — wait a minute ! If there is no way out, I will — ah — surrender. I will promise as you suggested. Dorothy. Solemnly, on your honor ? ^^ l6 A CASE OF SUSPENSION Professor, Solemnly, upon my honor. Dorothy. Then come, boys, let him down. — Or no? Let's pull him in I He shall come to our spread, and he can't tell 1 [Basket is pulled in.) Professor (climbing oifer sill). Young people, do you consider this fair treatment ? I understood that I was to be lowered — as it were — to the ground. ' Tom. Well, you will be, all in good time, never fear. You see this is an honor too great to be passed by. Harold. We've always felt delicate about inviting the Professors to little concerns of this kind, but since you were %Q anxious to come, we feel highly complimented. It's really a chance of a life-time I Do have a chair, Professor. You look so tired ! (Seats Professor in chair. Low whistle heard outside.) Alice. That must be Jack ! Lower the basket, boys. Professor. Young people, I protest ! Dorothy. We're sorry to wound your feelings. Professor, but it must be done ! (Jack tumbles in.) Jack. I did think I never would get here to-night, because the Faculty is on to us Je-rusalem ! {Stares blankly at Professor.) Alice. Oh, yes, Jack, Professor Edgerton is joining in our little spread to-night. Tack. Well— how — what — Professor. Are you taking part in this disgrace'iul affair, young man t Jack (blankly). Are — are you, Professor ? — I must say it's unusual to invite the Faculty to these little — gatherings —I'll be hanged if I see — Harold. Come here, old man I (They whisper in corner ; Jack seems greatly amused.) Mildred. Well, now, we're all here, and we might just as well begin to eat. I'm hungry. Sit down, everybody on the floor ! '-■ Tom. I tell you, you girls know how to fix up a spread ! (They all eat hungrily. Professor sits gloomily in the ^hair.) You don't seem to have any appetite, Professor. Dorothy. Poor Professor ! Let's fix him up a nice little plate all for himself. Pass over those chocolates, Alice, A CASE OF SUSPENSION" 1 7 Professor. Young people, my feelingrs are greatly wounded by your conduct this evening. Think how em- barrassing, how quite embarrassing, it would be for me if we were to be — ah — discovered. Jack. Come, now, Professor, we're all in the same boat. Cheer up and be lively. We're going to have no end of fun. Dorothy. Come, jump up, everybody, and see if we can't enliven the poor man a little. I've seen the time when I felt just so, Professor, and nothing would drive it away but a good dance, (Seats herself at piano and plays lively jig^ Alice. All join hands and circle round. {They force Professor to circle awkwardly with them.) Professor {circling). Young people, I command — I pro- test — is not this a singularly — yes, quite a singularly — un- usual thing for a member of the Faculty ? --^ Tom. Unusual ! Ye gods ! I should think it was. Mildred. Faster, faster, Dorothy ; don't stop ! Alice. Faster ! I'm just spinning now ! JIJOROTHY plays " We won't go home till morning.^ Alt Join in the song. Door opens and MiSS JUDKINS standi in view. Stidden stoppage.) Dorothy (Jrojn piano). What's the matter? Keep it up ! Keep it up I Judkins is three stories below, and deal at that. {Wheels arotmd, sees Miss Judkins, hides head and screams.) Miss Judkins. Professor Edgerton ! Do you call this discipline .>* Explain yourself. Professor. Indeed — ah ! — indeed I fear you will not quite understand — but I was making merely a few investi- gations, and — ah ! — Harold.' And he got investigated himself. Dorothy {seriously). You see, Miss Judkins, we're leaching the Faculty to dance. Alice. Yes. We started with the Professor, and we can take you next, Miss Judkins. Miss Judkins. Such unparalleled impudence. I certainly fail to understand, Professor, why you are in your present position. I can only command that you and these — gentle- men — betake yourselves elsewhere at once. \ will attend to you, young ladiieS. % r8 A CASE OF SUSPENSION (Whistle heard outside. Dorothy answers with similar whistle.") Voice. Say, yeou young 'uns want to look aout sharp, naow. Thet there foxy Judkins, she's onto ye. Dorothy {smothering a laugh). All right, Jonas ! Thank you. Miss Judkins. Jonas, too, in league. Voice {from doorway). Faith, Miss Dorothy, you an' the voung gintlemen had better go soft loike, for 6i mistrust that Miss Judkins she's a-\vatchin' for something. Dorothy. Thank you, Kathleen, we'll watch her. Miss Judkins. Young ladies, if the Faculty, and the hired men. and all the maids of this establishment are in league with you against me, it is useless to interfere. I shall send in my resignation at once. Professor. Indeed, my dear Miss Judkins, if only you could understand how — ah ! — how very false my position is — Miss Judkins. False ! I should tliink it was. You, sir, were telling me but an hour ago that discipline must be main* tained at any cost. There is nothing, sir, for you to say. You can only leave the room, even as you came into it. {Shrieks of laughter.) Alice. Come, now, Miss Judkins, don't be hard on the Protessor. He came in here to-night with the best of inten- tions, I assure you. Mildred. Yes, Miss Judkins, and as long as we are all here, and discovered, and you see you really can't do any- thing, you'll just have to make the best of it. Sit down, now, and let me help yoii to something. Miss Judkins. Miss Bartlett ! I — Professor. Ah !— but do, Miss Judkins. I'm sure it would be very kind of you, and I — you — that is, we — need never mention this — er — little occurrence to the — er — Faculty. In fact, my dear Miss Judkins, I — that is, false as my position is, and much as I — er — regret It, I feel as though I had gone back twenty years, my dear Miss Jud- lee. Miss Judkins. I'm amazed at you, Professor Edgerton. Yet, since you speak of it, this — this much to be regretted affair wakens memories within me that I thought had gone to sleep forever. Professor. Miss Judkins ! My dear lady! Ophelia! Er — I was just going to mention — that since the circum- stances have been forced upon us, as it were, can v^e not A CASE OF SUSPENSION I^ roll back the years for one short hour, and — er— participate, as it were, in these — festivities ? Harold. Professor, you're a brick. Alice. Oh! do, Miss Judkins; we'll never tell. Miss JUDKINS. Professor Edgerton,sinceyou,as a member of the Faculty, have requested it, I will consent to stay a short time and act as — as chaperon for these young people. - Tom. Hurrah! Sit down, everybody, and eat your £11. i^They seat themselves. E7iter Kathleen, breathless) Kathleen. Faith, thin, an' it's prowlin' around she is, an' if you young gintlemen — howly Saint Pater ! An' the Perfisser, too ! {Stares in open-mouthed astonishment) Jonas {entering). Naow yeou young 'uns better quit *n' light aout ef ye want to git off with hull skins. It strikes me she's — gee whiz ! Alice. Come on, Kathleen. This is a time of joy for all, from the Faculty down. Join the circle ; here's a place for you. Tom. And you can sit right here, Jonas. Don t be bashful. Mildred {sings). " And we'll all have tea. Jonas. Wal, all I can say is— I swan! Haow'd it all happen? 1 never see the Hke of this, an' Pve seen some mighty peculiar things sence I've worked to this seminary. Miss Judkins {dryly). I don't doubt it, Jonas. Jonas. Wal, Miss Judkins, you 'n' the Professor mustn't be too hard on old Jonas fer a-helpin' of the young folks a little. You see, I liad a boy once myself,jest about the age of these young fellers; an' one time I was pretty hard on him on account of a jamboree that was considerable like this ;— an' he went away, an' — wal, we ain't heard from hnn sence. Jack. There, old fellow, cheer up. He'll come back before long, a sadder and a wiser man, see if he doesn't.^ Professor. And Miss Judkins and myself are quite willing to overlook this~ah— laxity of demeanor, Jonas Dorothy. There \ Everything is all right now. And we can — oh ! listen. {Tuning of gidtars is heard; then a college song is sung by a male quartet) Dorothy. What a lovely serenade ! It was just the 20 A CASE OF SUSPENSION finishing touch for our spread. But it is getting late. Jum^ up ! jump up 1 One parting whirl, for soon we must sever. (Dorothy plays.) Alice. Join hands, everybody, Miss Judkins and the Professor, Kathleen and Jonas, and all the rest. One — two — three — four, and away we go. Professor {breathlessly). This is — ah — er — very violent exercise — cannot we desist, my young friends, with a parting bow, as it were ? Mildred. So we will. Come here, Dorothy — we'll all join hands, and now to the greatness of the occasion ! Tom. And to its unusual circumstances ! Alice. And to the health of Miss Judkins ! Harold. And to the happiness of the Professor ! Jack. And to our loyal friiends, Kathleen and Jonas, whc rushed into the very teeth of danger to warn us of approach- ing peril ! Dorothy. And to the honor of the Faculty ! All. One grand sweeping bow. CURTAIN Practical Elocution By J. W. Shoemaker, A. M. 300 pages Cloth, Leather Back, $1.2$ This work is the outgrowth ol actual class-room experience, and is a practical, common-sense treatment of the whole subject. It is clear and concise, yet comprehensive, and it absolutely fr«e from the entanglin' technicalities that are so frequently found in books this class. Conversation, which is the basis of all true Eloc is regarded as embracing all the germs of spee action. Prominent attention is therefore give cultivation of this the most common form of h pression. General principles and practical processe/^ alV-prs^ sented for the cultivation of strength, purit^', and flexi- bility of Voice, for the improvement of disti ictness and correctness in articulation, and for the development of Soul Power in delivery. The work includes a systematic treatment of Gesture in its several departments of position, facial expression^ and bodily movement, a brief system of Gymnastict bearing upon vocal development and grace of move- ment, and also a chapter on Methods of Instruction, for teachers. Sold by all booksellers, or sent, prepaid, upon receipt of price. / The Penn Publishing Company 933 Arch Street, Philadelpi. i™,?,?^ ^^ CONGRESS SHOEMAKER 1 1^^ National School ^^^ ^ ^ °f Elocution and Oratory ODD FELLOWS' TEMPLE Broad and Qieif y Streets Philadelphia 'ONS wishingf to obtain practical trainingf and .:ic culture in Elocution and Oratory should institution* c oldest chartered school of expression in Its stu(knts and §:raduates, numbering; thousands^ are to be 'ound in all parts of this country and Canada, occupying prominent positions as Public Readers, Teav:hers of Elocution, Cler§;ymen, Lecturers, Actors, etc. Instruction thorougfh in all that pertains to a well- rounded elocutionary education* A corps of eminent teachers, each a specialist in his own department. All facilities first-class. In addition to the regular Day Classes there are special Evening and Saturday courses. Special Summer course. Private instruction. Grad- uating courses one and two years. 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