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THE DEVON'S 
 
A SECOND 
 
 SERIES OF POEMS, 
 
 INCLUDING 
 
 "MUCKSY LANE," 
 
 A GHOST STORY, 
 
 IN THE DEVONSHIRE DIALECT; 
 
 NATHAN HOGG^ 
 
 Ban 
 
 / 
 DEDICATED BY PERMISSION TO 
 
 HIS HIGHNESS PRINCE LOUIS LUCIEN BONAPARTE. 
 
 / 
 
 12L2* 
 
 JOHN RUSSELL SMITH, 36, SOHO SQUARE. 
 
 feter : 
 
 CURSON, T. W. ROBERTS, DRAYTON, HIGH STREET 
 FORE STREET, WHEATON. 
 
 WHOLESALE AGENT, 
 
 G. G. PALMER, 3 WATERBEER STREET. 
 1863. 
 
V 
 
 Exeter : 
 
 Printed by G. G. Palmer, 
 
 3, Waterbeer Street. 
 
JebitafiflK 
 
 To His Highness Prince Louis Luoien Bonaparte. 
 
 In seeking the honor which your Highness has so readily and 
 courteously conferred upon me, by granting nae permission to 
 dedicate to you the following pages, I feel assured that you will 
 better appreciate my object in so doing when I admit that, while 
 entertaining full respect for your exalted rank, a recollection of 
 the Prince becomes lost in my admiration of the linguist. 
 
 Semembering the many interviews which I have been 
 privileged to have with your Highness, during your study of the 
 Devonshire Dialect, and your extraordinary mastery of its 
 general peculiarities and most difficult idioms, I can well 
 understand how highly you have deserved the honorable 
 mention which has been made of you as a linguist by the 
 European Press. 
 
 My testimony to that already so universally given may 
 seem to savour somewhat of egotism : I cannot however 
 imagine that I have committed any great breach of modesty in 
 seeking, as the humble student of one dialect, the appreciation 
 of a perfect master of hundreds. 
 
 H. BAIKD. 
 Exeter, June 9th, 1863. 
 
preface- 
 
 ^S2^ 
 
 The Works of " Nathan Hogg " in the Devonshire Dialect have 
 become so widely known, that the author feels it quite unneces- 
 sary in the present instance to trouble his readers with more than 
 a few introductory observations in the way of preface. Since 
 issuing his previous editions, it will be seen that " Nathan " has 
 developed his faculty for verse, and woed the muses in his 
 serious as well as in his humorous moments. To those who 
 may not have had an opportunity of studying the heart and 
 character of the honest rustics of our native county, I affirm 
 that the affections are as strongly implanted in those " rude 
 breasts" as in the more refined, and ofttimes find utterance, 
 (albeit in unpolished orthography and " wildish" numbers,) with 
 a more genial glow than is frequently found to characterise 
 poetical emanations of many of the " more cultivated." 
 
 Eeferring thee then, dear reader, to the Note and Glossary 
 for explanations of any peculiarity of dialect upon which the 
 most intelligent may excusably be in doubt, I co mm end this 
 little book to thy gracious consideration, and, with the assurance 
 that if I shall afford thee only a few hours healthy amusement, 
 it will be an ample recompence for any time and trouble its 
 preparation may have cost me. 
 
 H. BATED. 
 
®mximt$. 
 
 Dedication 
 
 Preface 
 
 Tha Daysy tap tha Grave 
 
 Tha Zlaypin Cheel 
 
 Twenty Yurs — A Kaycolleckshin 
 
 Tha Cricket an tha Bittle 
 
 Gwayn Hom 
 
 Tha Zlngin tdie a live 
 
 Girt Of venders and Zmal 
 
 Mal Brown's Crinalin an wat com'd awt 
 
 A turrabul ride be Eayl 
 
 Mezul ez a Public Spayker 
 
 expairyinces uv eoyalty 
 
 Mucksy Lane— A Gost story 
 
 Glossary 
 
SAIR-YISS POAMS. 
 
 Sto §%p\j M%\t m (Swim, 
 
 Wat dist thow yer thow litt'l vlow'r, 
 
 Why zich a spot dist crave ? 
 This ez no pleace vur wan like thee— 
 
 A daysy tap tha grave ! 
 Aw, no ! shwd be zom murnvul vlow'r, 
 
 Vrim joyvul hik apart ; 
 A vlow'r of darker hu, way haid 
 
 Thit drap'th down like ma hart. 
 
 I can't abide ta zee thee zmile, 
 
 That zacrid grave abuv ; 
 Uv hur JJ vrom ma beth till now, 
 
 Wis anl I luv'd ur luv : 
 Et bear'th ma back to wot beant now, 
 
 Bit aw ! ta wat ith bin, 
 Then gie mee zom moar murnvul vlow'r, 
 
 Like wat I veel wayin. 
 
 But stap ! hur is a J.ngel now, 
 
 Moar bright an pz^r thin thee ; 
 A light brayk'th in apin mee hart, 
 
 Thy bz^ty now I zee ; 
 Iss ! litt'l vlow'r I'll iver think, 
 
 As thow raytur'nst aych yur, 
 Thit thow bee'st zent ta bare ta mee, 
 
 A zmile uv luv vrim hur. 
 
SAIR-YISS POAMS 
 
 I bant no V cither, 1 wish I waz, 
 
 Bit et strik'th ma aul uv a heep 
 Ta zee thic bwtivul pictur thare — 
 
 Thicky zweet litt'l clieel azleep ! 
 I veel — I can't tullee wat I veel — 
 
 Ez I vu ez innacint veace, 
 An zim I niver cud bee za zmal 
 
 Thit I cud a lide in ez pleace. 
 
 Iss vath I winder (no winder tu) 
 
 Et tha change thit wurkith wayin, 
 Wen I think tha mort'l speace thare lyth 
 
 Tween tha " ez " an tha " hath a bin." 
 Ah ! I winder wat thow deer cheel (za pwr 
 
 Until vorrid thy wtstaps bend) 
 "Wen thow, tu, travel'th tha raud I've trape'st, 
 
 Ull bee et thy jurney's end ? 
 
 Aw, iss ! tiz a mucky raud thow'll vine, 
 
 Way hadges uv prickel an thaurn : 
 Thit graw'th moar thicker an zsharper tu, 
 
 Tha vurder vrim wen jit'm baurn. 
 Deer zlaypin zaul, in tha foce uv luv 
 
 Thit ez now a purtecting thee, 
 I veel thow'm stronger agin tha word'l 
 
 Zivrel hunderdvole thin mee, 
 
 Bit arter aul thare be minny rauds 
 
 Thit laid'th tu our wordly end, 
 Wile zom bee ruff, and zz^ant bee zom, 
 
 An tha tothers be hard ta vend ; 
 Zweet cheel I pray way a airnist hart 
 
 Thit tha claynist uv rauds thow'll keep — 
 Thit thy cus uv lyvemay bee jist za znmthe 
 
 An za cam ez thy hinfint zlayp . 
 
BE NATHAN HOGG. 
 
 Swain pr* : » MwMttMxm, 
 
 Twenty yurs ! wat mort'l chcmges 
 
 Hath accur'd in thic thare time ; 
 An, ez back ma spurrit ranges, 
 
 Zeth, " doant put min inta rime;" 
 Changes tint, apin raynecshin, 
 
 Bring'th tha teer drap in mee hye, 
 An cal'th vorrid that avekskin 
 
 Thit I veel'd in days gaun bye. 
 
 Now, in vancy, naith tha shadder 
 
 Uv tha ole hit, tree I stan ; 
 An I zee, up Jackib's ladder, 
 
 Spurrits tropin, wan bee wan; 
 Spurrits uv tha dayd, long burry'd, 
 
 Vrends ta mee wen bit a cheel, 
 Ywtstap arter vwtstap hurry'd, 
 Auver tha aytarnal hill. 
 
 An I yer tha buls a chaymin, 
 
 *Vur tha vokes agwayn ta prayer, 
 Bit thay be, thit's aunward straymin, 
 
 Nat tha wans wen I wiz thare ; 
 No ! jist go an rayd tha ritin, 
 
 Pin tha stoans yu zee aroun, 
 An yw'll vine, be tha inditin, 
 
 Minny zlaypith undergroun. 
 
 Andi tha rest, wan pleace ur tother, 
 
 Be gaun vore ta vight thare way ; 
 Vur wat's vather, zister, moather, 
 
 Tu our wants vrim day to day ? 
 Aw ! I've thort et ez a pity 
 
 (Tho' I spose tant vur tha best) 
 Bit our wulvare meade et vitty 
 
 Wan ta laber way tha rest. 
 
SAIR-YISS POAMS 
 
 No et cant be ! luk ! for ort'l 
 
 Shaw thee pairtin, change an deth 
 Ez tha veate uv iv'ry mort'l 
 
 Vrim tha time ha draeth ez breth. 
 An if mim'ry tu sbwd purish 
 
 Wat wid this pore wurdle be ? — 
 Ware tha pickturs aui aw's churish — ■ 
 
 Thic in vancy I now zee ? 
 
 Thare's tha sk^le ware (macy zave ess ?) 
 
 I vust larn'd ma ABC, 
 " Wen g^d " let out be Jinny Davies 
 
 Zixty minnits arter dree ; 
 An tha pleaces I've bin mitchin — 
 
 Auver meddar and dvu mow, 
 Vur wich I've a got a zwitchin — 
 
 Noan be leff ta zwitch ma now ! 
 
 Thare's the zulf zame bmk now uming 
 
 Ware I've tuk auff zock an bat, 
 An ma trowses var up turnin, 
 
 Gone inkt tha watter — scat ! 
 Auff vur that I've got a drashin, 
 
 An bin vetch'd way minny sticks, 
 An, vur a clayn apurn splashing, 
 
 Zent ta bayd zun arter zix. 
 
 Thare I zee tha vullidge Caunder, 
 Ware us child'rn y-ws'd ta stan, 
 
 Uv tha pleace no wan wiz vonder, 
 Thin mezul among tha ban ; 
 
 Thare ez yws'd ta meet and chatter- 
 Talk uv ghosts, anuv tha dayd, 
 
 'Till horn vast our veet wid clatter, 
 Most aveer'd ta go ta bayd. 
 
BE NATHAN HOGG. 
 
 An. among thic raw uv howzes, 
 
 Wan I zee, I mine en wnl, 
 Ware I vast wared coat and trowses, 
 
 Dress'd za vine, no tung "kin tul ; 
 An. tha happinses thay gied mer, 
 
 Wull I die raymimber how, 
 Then tha gud ole nayburs vee'd mnr, 
 
 But I've urn'd drw mnrch moar now. 
 
 Tho, as now, wan ad ez trubble. 
 
 Bit aich wan wiz then moar zmal, 
 Iv'ry greef aych yer grawth dubble, 
 
 Till tha vnst zini'th nort a tal. 
 Zo et ez wile nayth tha sha elder 
 
 Uv tha ole hu tree I stan, 
 Thit mee baytin hart grawth zadder — 
 
 Zadder zince I'm com a man. 
 
 Twenty yurs ! bit aw less stap et, 
 
 I've a zeed a dayl zince that, 
 An 'tiz better, murch, ta drap et, 
 
 Zichlike thorts beant weth a grat ; 
 Aul I naw thay make mur lonely, 
 
 Noan kin tul now wat I veel, 
 Tho' me thorts wiz cms, I only 
 
 Naw thay'm wiss thin wen a cheel. 
 
 ■ — H^^^^ 
 
 A cricket ha zot a pin tap a tha aith, 
 
 An ha hollerd za lowd as ha c?(d squayl, 
 Wen a gurt black bittle a trapsin aun, 
 
 Ha twk an scammil'd pin tap uv ez tayl. 
 Noav kiss'n thee zee ware thee bee'st a gwayn, 
 
 Zed tha crickit, "yu nasty vulty thing ; 
 Y« zartinly can't be za mort'l deeve, 
 
 Bit wat thit yu must hev a yerd ma zing, 
 
SAIR-YISS POAMS 
 
 Tha bittle ha bust out intu a laff — 
 
 Wat! dee cal that zingin ? aw, aw, zeth he ! 
 If thee bees't a zinger, no kith uv mine, 
 
 Be tha black a ma cote shill zongsters be : 
 Tis nort bit a skritch, an wisser nur that, — 
 
 Ef I wis ta kick up zich awful rows 
 I'm zartin tha missus wid vurrit mer owt, 
 
 An nat allow mer ta bide in tha howze. 
 
 Zes tha cricket ju hugly himprint twoad, 
 
 Iv'ry nite tha missus, avaur tha vi-er, 
 Zmile'th auver hur veace as hur yurs ma zing, 
 
 An lafths as I toon'th up hi-er an hi-er ; 
 An as vur tha measter ha zmoak'th ez pipe, 
 
 An ju may zee be tha twink uv ez eye, 
 Thit vur vury glee as ha puf 'th an blaw'th, 
 
 Ha widdn be happy zept I wur bj. 
 
 Tha bittle ha zed tha cricket wiz spared 
 
 Cuz ha jump'd away, an zed way skaurn, 
 Thit ez vur ez zul ha wiz lyk'd, anaw'd, 
 
 Vur a liv'd in tha howze iver zince ha wis baurn ; 
 Bezaides vury auff wen ha vown et cole, 
 
 Ha'd ha'd stick'd eszul ta tha missus's hoze — 
 Hur'd car'd min up stairs, wen auffn ha'd got 
 
 An zlayp'd way bothe awmin under tha close. 
 
 Then wan kintinid ta prayze up eszul, 
 
 Tha tuther kintinid ta du tha zeame ; 
 An thare bothe measter an missus thay zot, 
 
 ^4s if thay wiz draymin abowt tha vleame. 
 Ta last tha ole humman cort zight uv tha bothe, 
 
 An tha cricket ha squayl'd out hi-er an hi-er, 
 Wen hur shet out her han twk'd hole uv tha brwsh, 
 
 An zitp'd tha bothe awmin inta tha vi-er. 
 
BE NATHAN HOGG. 
 MORIUL. 
 
 Wul, now warnin teake, bothe Littles and men, 
 
 An crickits an hnmmen tu, 
 lfyu thinks za vury murch uv yerzul, 
 
 Tha wurdle thinks litt'l a ju ; 
 An wile yw'm quardlin bowt wich ez tlia best, 
 
 Stid uv stikkin ta wat y?t'm meade, 
 Be tha vnry wans ju may think ynr vrends 
 
 Yw'll iatu tha vi-er be drade. 
 
 I zeed a glad an laffin cheel, 
 
 A cwsin dm tha green ; 
 A bag wiz drappin at hnr heel, 
 
 I ax'd hur ware hnr'd bin. 
 Hnr zed ta skzd, I twk hnr han 
 
 Za zart, za ronn an plum ; 
 An ware, mee litt'l queen, bee gwayn ? 
 Zeth hur, " I'm gwayn horn ! " 
 " Ay ! git thee horn," I zed, " zweet cheel, 
 
 An way thy zisters play, 
 I tu be gwayn horn, bit veel 
 Thic horn's a vurder way." 
 
 I zeed a zayler, tal an blithe, 
 
 Apin tha platvorm stan ; 
 Ha'd vetch'd thic happy time a live 
 
 Uv nether cheel nur man. 
 I ax'd en ware thit he wiz gwayn, 
 
 An ware ha hayl'd vrom ? 
 Ha zed ha'd crass'd tha wat'ry mayn, 
 An now wiz gwayn horn. 
 "Go, happy zin, an raip tha bliss 
 
 Thit ez vur thee in store ; 
 Bit aw ! ta mee no moather's kiss 
 Ull nat be gid no moar. " 
 
SAIR-YISS POAMS 
 
 I zeed a mayd a gwayn ta church, 
 
 A zwant blishin bride ; 
 Hur morrid wan thay zed wis urch — 
 
 He zittin be hur zide. 
 Hur vather an hur moather died, 
 
 Aul homliss hur becom ; 
 Bit now agane, zweet happy mayd, 
 Hur tu ez gwayn hom. 
 " Aw ! blessins be apinthic pair," 
 
 I zauffly wisper'd, " vur 
 Tha zeake a thic zweet Angel thaee— 
 My hom ez long way hur." 
 
 Tha tother day I cal'd apin 
 
 A vrend a wan thits gaun, 
 Vur worn tha brite an cheervul zin 
 
 Ith now no longer shaun ; 
 Ez gray hare hang'd aul down ez veace, 
 
 Zeth he, "my time ez com, 
 Less grip yer han, I die in payee, 
 I veel I'm gwayn hom." 
 " Go, gwdole man," I wisper'd law, 
 
 As vent ha brayth'd, an vast, 
 " When I tu pay tha det I aw, 
 May I zee zich a last. " 
 
 Ay ! litt'l cheel an haupvul yuth, 
 
 Yung bride an agid man, 
 Tha scriptur tul'th essnort bit tmth, 
 
 " This life ez bit a span." 
 Yw zun miss urn yer aithly reace, 
 
 An then be cal'd yervrom ; 
 An ju £/"vind'th no restin pleace, 
 Yu tu wul z^n bee hom. 
 
 Bit wat thic hom turn'th out ju zee, 
 
 Uv cws 'tis hard ta tul, 
 Tho, wan thing's saf ez saf kin be — 
 Depend'th apin yerzul. 
 
BE NATHAN HOGG. 
 
 Thare ez a time in this kirare 
 
 Uv trubble an uv strive, 
 Thit like a J.ngel bide'th ta chare — 
 
 Tha zingin time a live ; 
 An mac j pin tha dmpin hart, 
 
 An pin tha zilent tung, 
 Wen luv, vrim bothe awmin daypairt, 
 
 Uv mwzic an uv zong. 
 
 Ive auff'n yer'd tha moather zing 
 
 Hur hinfint cheel ta zleep, 
 An ktkin pin thic litt'l thing 
 
 Ith quite vurgot ta weep ; 
 Iss ! tho' no burd an mayt hur hath, 
 
 Zweet haup still keep'th alive, 
 Vur aw ! et light 'nth up hur path — 
 
 Thic zingin time a live. 
 
 I tu hev yer'd tha wurds uv zong 
 
 Vrim veeble voyces pow'r, — 
 Vrim thic ole man thit'th walk'd along 
 
 Ez live moast tu a now'r : 
 Bit hee ith nat bin hald abowt 
 
 Way trubble care an strive, 
 Nur mit way ort ta stiffle owt 
 
 Tha zingin time a live. 
 
 Bit aw ! Ive zeed in prime a days, 
 
 Ware nort bit joy shwd bk*m, 
 A hart an eye that zim'd to sayze 
 
 Tha shadder uv tha turn : 
 Note arter note, stap arter stap, 
 
 (Aw! niver tu rayvive,) 
 Way in tha vlid uv greef id drap 
 
 Tha zingin time a live, 
 
10 SAIR-YISS -POAMS 
 
 Aw ! blessins be a pin thic time 
 
 Wen hart an zaul be yung. 
 Wen nether trubble, no, nur crime, 
 
 Ith stap'd tha warblin tung : 
 iiaw! a deep an airnist prare 
 
 Vur man, ur mayd, ur wive, 
 ZJ'th b'urry'd in thare hart's dayspare 
 
 Tha zingin time a live. 
 
 
 A muller ha vc-wn a mowze in ez hutch 
 An zed " vur this ju bee bown ta dye," 
 
 Bit tha pore litt'l crayt'r playdid hard, 
 An wantid ta naw tha rayz'n wye . 
 
 " Tha rayz'n wye ? " tha muller ha zed, 
 " Way that's a purty thing, ta be zshore; 
 
 Now wadd'n thee vown in thic thare hutch, 
 A aytin tha mayl thit's grownd vur tha pore ?" 
 
 Then ha cort'n hole be tha end a tha tayl, 
 An ez pore litt'l haid gin tha hutch ha hat, 
 
 .Arter wich tha crwel twoad ha drade 
 Ez pore litt'l carkiss owt ta tha cat. 
 
 Now a muller ha stayl'th an cal'th et " tole," 
 An a mowthvul ur tu, a mowze'll scral, 
 
 Wat a honjist vate thare ez, I zess, 
 Vur ofvenders girt an ofvenders zmal. 
 
HZ7MEBISS POAMS. 
 
 pat turn's (Mttalto m mt 
 tm'A mt. 
 
 Thare's a mayd I've long naw'd, an hur neame ez Mai 
 
 Brown, 
 77 com'd tother day ta teake zarvice in town, 
 An who mit way a turrabul zort a mishap, 
 Wen I yer'd awt, I thort thit I rayly mist drap. 
 Wul, et zims thit hur ad a bin walkin tha pleace, 
 An zeed thicky kickshaw thay hangs ta tha waste, 
 " Crinalin" tis, thay cals et, bit laur ! pin me wurd, 
 Tiz nort bit a hen-cwp aul cuver'd way urd. 
 "VYul hur thort thit in cms thit hur cz^d'n be wan 
 Vur ta keep vrim a vashin za turrabul gran, 
 An hur ktk'd in a winder an zeed wan aw'm thare, 
 Bit pin axin tha vally, laur ! didd'n hur stare, 
 Fur tha mayd unang'd dree vrim bezide uv a shulve, 
 An zed thay wiz zold vrim dree shullins ta twulve. 
 " Wul ! " zeth hur, "that's a zum thit I cant wul avord, 
 I'll jist dio et mezul, way zix pennerd a cord." 
 Wul, hur parchis'd zix pennerd, an zade et aul rown, 
 An tha vollerin zindy hur pake'd dnt tha town, 
 
12 HUMERISS POAMS. 
 
 Bit laur ! if hur'd thort pin tha trubb'l in store 
 Hur wid'n dwd then wat hur'll niver du more ; 
 Bit bevaur thit ess tul wat tba mayd did beval, 
 Et ez vrite vur ta state bow bur ktk'd arter a\. 
 Wul, bur parcbis'd tba cord, ez avaur I've a zed, 
 An zade et aul rown way tba cwsist a tbred, 
 Tbit hur undercote spred in a way ju bant zin — 
 Tis a winder bur stocMns stap'd aun way tba win. 
 Then hur ad a zmal string urnin up dm tba zide 
 Vur ta hal up hur dress — thic minever I've tride, 
 An I vine et a cubical muv vur aul bucks, 
 Vur ta hal up thare burcbes wen crassin tha mucks ; 
 Bit ez now I've a tole thur za wul ez I c^d, 
 Hur luks, I'll jist tul thur tha things tbit hur d^d. 
 Tha vust thing hur dud, apin crassin tha strayt, 
 Wiz ta hal up hur things ta be tidy an nayt, 
 Wen zom boys gin'd ta holler, an cus wurds ta vend, 
 Vur hur undercote cock'd neerly uprite bebend ; 
 An hurnaw'd wat et waz, wen a humman acrass 
 Zing'd owt, " laur a macy ! daunt bee zich a hass ; 
 "Du'ee put down yer things an walk zummat like vitty, 
 An doant ad no moar tu tha yu\s a tha zitty." 
 Wul hur drap'd et, bit vury zun tuk up a hitch, 
 Wen up go'th tha pitty cotes zide ways, bit zich 
 Wiz tha hite thit thay went tu, an girt wiz tha shaw, 
 Thit a lot a chaps brort up an holler'd " wurraw ! — " 
 ^n tha boys thit, bevaur now, wiz watcbin tha geame, 
 Com'd up, an immaydyit joyn'd in way tha zeame. 
 Ta git owt a tba way hur back'd int^ a pleace, 
 Wen thay cock'd up bevaur, zo ta zett'l tha case. 
 
BE NATHAN HOGG. 13 
 
 (Yu naws hurs a twoad, now, wen up hurs a zot) 
 Hur pitch'd irt intw min, an pummiPd tha lot, 
 Wen a polismin pass'd, an layd hold a pore Mai, 
 An walk'd hur strite vorrid down ta tha Gilhal ; 
 Bit vindin wat 'twaz, thay advized hur ta rin 
 Strite horn, an nat ventir zich nonsins agin. 
 Now, I zay this yer vashin's tha wiss thit kin bee ; 
 How tha hummen kin dtt et's a puzzle ta mee;— 
 Way if I ad a wive thit wid shaw hurzul zo, 
 Vury quick I shud gie hur tha awderta "go ! " 
 I've a zeed miny hummen go intw a shop, 
 Ur a korridge, ur geate, wen up thare goes — pop — 
 Thare undercotes, zo thit ez var ez tha rest, 
 Zilly crayturs, thay may jist za wul be undress'd. 
 Now, I rayly daunt like vur ta vrite in this way, 
 Bit tis wat y u may luk at, iss ! day arter day ; 
 Tho' p'raps if thay zee'th et in pirnt, by an by, 
 Thay mit keep things moar zaycrit, nat mayn'd vur tha hy. 
 
 Wile I'm talkin a this I mit jist za wul zay, 
 I wiz owt tu a varmerin vrends tother day, 
 Wen tha measter com'd in an ha zing'd owt " Mariar !" — 
 Wativer's a com'd a thic girt roll a wi-er ? 
 Twiz auver tha chimly peece, no juz ta tul, 
 Unny tu days ago, vur I zeed et mezul. 
 Wul they zarch'd an tha measter, ha kick'd up zich rigs, 
 Cuz ha wanted tha wi-er vur ringing the pigs, 
 Nat a skiddick howiver wiz vown, zo ha thort 
 Thit ta zarch iny vurder'd be zarchin vur nort. 
 Wul thic minnit in drap't an ole vren, Varmer B — , 
 V pin yerrin wat waz zing'd out " deer macy mee ! 
 
14 HUMERISS POAMS 
 
 Et es cwryiss now, vath, vur I'm in a st it, ' 
 
 My wi-er's agaun an I cant think ware tu." 
 
 Wul ! thay thort no more bout et (ur nat vury murch) 
 
 Till nex zindy id com, an thare mayd went ta Church, 
 
 Wen hur stick'd out aul roun in za cwryiss a way, 
 
 Thit tha yung Varmer holler'd " Mariar, I zay ! 
 
 I'll be dal'd if owr Mary thare hath'n a bin 
 
 An parchis'd be zom mayns a nu crinalin. 
 
 " Wat dee tul aw ? " ez zister rayplied way a vrown, 
 
 " Way hur hath'n a bin vur zix munths inta town ! 
 
 " Niver mine, now vur that, " hurth a got min" zeth hee, 
 
 " An avaur tha days auver I'll manidge ta zee !" 
 
 Wul ! aivnin wiz com, horn com Mai inta howze, 
 
 An went up ta change, bevaur mulkin tha cowze, 
 
 An wen hur went out up ha go'th auver stairs 
 
 An zarchid awl awver pore Mallys avares. 
 
 Wul ! ha zidd'nly com pin a thing thit ha naw'd 
 
 Wiz tha wan thit zo mortilly spred Mai abraud, 
 
 Zo ha tuk owt ez nive, cut zom stiches an vown 
 
 Thit tha wi-er thay'd laust wiz a zade aul aroun. 
 
 Now poor Mally's kinsarn ha immayditly tuk 
 
 Jist as twaz, an then hang'd et aul up tu tha cruk 
 
 In tha kitchin, zo wen hur put vut in tha pleace, 
 
 Tha thingamy stared hur irt bang in tha veace : 
 
 Laur a macy ! hur drap'd bothe tha cans (hur did zshore ! ) 
 
 An val'd, way tha vrite, horn pin tap a tha vlore ; 
 
 Then hur got inta sturricks like hummen vokes dw, 
 
 My ivers ! an zot up a mortal balw ; 
 
 An hur drade up her mowthe dree ur vour inches wide, 
 
 Thit I thort tha pore craytur wid rayly a dide ; 
 
BE NATHAN HOGG. 15 
 
 Howsimiver hur didn, cm wen liur corn tu 
 
 Hur zwared zich a hack hur wid niver more dw, 
 
 Zo tha measter vurgid hur bit tha nayburin voke 
 
 Aiv'n now tayze pore Med way tha pig wi-er joke. 
 
 I vurgot vur ta tul'ee vriin thicky thare day 
 
 Tha tother mayd niver wiz tictdivated way 
 
 Zich a roundabout thing, and tis raryiss tha wi-er 
 
 Wiz vown arter that a drade in pin tha vi-er ; 
 
 Bit thick cock wid'n vight, vur twiz naw'd vury wul 
 
 Tha wi-er cud'n git in zich pleace be etszul. 
 
 Tha vack uv et waz, thit tha mayd id a yur'd 
 
 Tha awvul mis-hap that ta Mai id accur'd ; 
 
 Zo, rather thin urn iny risk uv tha zeame, 
 
 Hur went an kimmittid tha wi-er ta vlame. 
 
 Wat Ive tole tole thur es trw, zo tha case uv poor Mai 
 
 Wul I haup vrim this time prwv a w^arnin ta al ; — 
 
 Nat uny tu mayd'ns in zarvice, an thay 
 
 Yu may zee in shop winders a wurkin away, 
 
 An who shaw'th ivry maurnin (vur aul aws may zeet) 
 
 A dwee uv a way up abuv thare " pore veet," 
 
 Bit tha ladees u auft be thare larnin ta naw 
 
 Thit tant aul ez hev got wiz a gid ez tha shaw ; 
 
 Now I tul'ee wat tez if yu want vur ta stap et, 
 
 Tha ladees must be tha vust wans vur ta drap et — 
 
 If thay daunt Mally Brown'll bee agane in a bother, 
 
 Cuz hur thinks thit wan leg ez as gwd ez anuther. 
 
16 'humeriss poams 
 
 Yw've yer'd a Janny Gulpin's ride 
 
 Vrim Linnin pin a hauss, 
 An yw've a yer'd, I spoze, bezide, 
 
 Ez hat an wig ha lauss : 
 Uv c^s ha raud moast mort'l quick, 
 
 Bit arter aul yw'll vine, 
 Howiver vast ha went, thit thic 
 
 Thare ride wiz nort ta mine. 
 
 Wan day tu Tinmith I'd a bin, 
 
 An in tha artermm 
 Went tu tha Stashin way a rin, 
 
 Nat veelin auverzzm ; 
 An zo et prwv'd, vur pin me wurd, 
 
 Wen jist inzide I got, 
 Tha wissel aw tha trayn I yer'd, 
 
 An auff tha bagger zot. 
 
 Nat tu be dwd, I urn'd acrass 
 
 Tha tother zide tha line, 
 Ha wadd'n gwayn nat auver vast, 
 
 Zo up I jump'd behine. 
 Tha dang'd ole boyler puff'd an blaw'd, 
 
 Tha porters aul aw'm skiitch'd, 
 Tha moar thay cal'd, I virmer raud, 
 
 An legs an vingers clitch'd. 
 
 Tha trayn urn'd up bezide tha zay, 
 
 (A purty zite et waz ;) 
 Agane I yerd tha wissel play, 
 
 " Yer com'th tha haul * — Im daz ! 
 Iss ! laur a macy ! macy mee ! 
 
 Yer tis, now uny hark, 
 Howiver kin a vuller zee 
 
 Ta hole aun in tha dark ? 
 
 * The Tunnel. 
 
BE NATHAN HOGG. 17 
 
 Ess shet in dru thic haul, — aw, law ! — 
 
 Zich noys wiz niver yer'd, 
 Et zim'd like trav'lin down belaw, — 
 
 Iss, did, a pin me wurd! 
 Tha vapper rish'd up dru ma naws, 
 
 An down ma draut, za thick 
 Thit ef I hadd'n clinch'd ma jaws 
 
 I z«n shud ha bin zick. 
 
 Wul, then tha groun zim'd aul a vi-er — 
 
 I twk'd a virmer hold, 
 Ez zim'd ez ef thit ess wiz ni-er 
 
 Thick pleace thit I've a told. 
 An then ess thort ess zmul'd a zmul, 
 
 An zeed a zartin veace — 
 Tha neame awmin I need'n tul, 
 
 Nur vurder steate tha pleace. 
 
 Bang arter Bang wiz yer'd aroun, 
 
 I thort thit, iv'y lurch, 
 Tha imps wiz vi-erin (be tha zoun) 
 
 Ta hat ma auf ma purch ; 
 Bit ef they did zhet wul ur nat, 
 
 Ef did'n zun com lite, 
 I veel'd thit, (ef I wadd'n hat,) 
 
 I muss val auf way vrite. 
 
 Wul owt ess com'd, an in ess went, 
 
 An owt agane, an in, — 
 A winder thit ess did'n vent 
 
 Vur want a hare an zin : 
 Thank gwdniss yer ess be ta lass " 
 
 Zeth I " yer's Dalish close ; — 
 Eet still ha go'th most mort'l vass ; — 
 
 Thay'm puttin aim more foce. ! ! " 
 
 D 
 
18 HUMERISS POAMS 
 
 An zo thay waz, vur be tha pleace 
 
 Ess jist like litnin rish'd, 
 Wile pin tha platvorm iv'ry veace 
 
 Zim'd like a veace a wish'd. 
 In vack tha miny things ess pass'd 
 
 (Ta think awt now I zheake,) 
 Zim'd, ivry stop ess went zavast, 
 
 Ta graw into a stiake. 
 
 Aun, aun ess went, laur jayly cry! 
 
 Till Storcrass place ess vetch'd, 
 Ess did'n stop, ess zim'd ta vly — 
 
 Eet zartin wurds ess ketch'd ; 
 I thort a Porter veller cride, 
 
 " Look thare thats Nathan Hogg !' 
 " Iss tiz, ju blackguard, I rayplied, 
 
 Twiz ju thit lauss tha dog."* 
 
 Wul, then ess ktk'd owt pin tha zay, 
 
 (Zich thing wiz niver yer'd,) 
 Vur bigger thin a rick a hay 
 
 Thare zwim'd a wackin burd ;** 
 And, ez ess raud, ha turn'd ez bayk, 
 
 Thort I " now hang aun varm, 
 Vur ef ha com'th an vindt'h thur wayk, 
 
 Ha'll ait thur like a warm," 
 
 * Nathan a short time before had lost a favourite dog through 
 the neglect of the dunder-deaded Porter who bungles the wires 
 at this great Station. 
 
 ** Nathan must have seen Ca.pt. Peacock's beautiful boat in 
 the shape of a bird, — " The swan of the Exe." 
 
BE NATHAN HOGG. 19 
 
 Bit zun ess zeed min owt a zite, 
 
 An mort'l glad ess veel'd, 
 Nat carin ta be gobb'ld quite, 
 
 Like giants ait'h a cheeld. 
 A purty mayl thort I, — iss, vay ! — 
 
 (Vur thicky burd jist pass) 
 Mee bastid an a zar'd up way 
 
 Zom Starcrass mucks vur sass. 
 
 Wul aun ess rish'd pass Powderim, 
 
 Zeth I " tant vury vur, 
 I kin hoi vast me hoi, I zim, 
 
 Za var ez Exmistur ! " 
 Bit wen ess com'd ta thicky pleace, 
 
 My ivers ! ess shet vore 
 Ez ef way zich a dredvul peace 
 
 Ess shwd'n stap no moar. 
 
 Now vaster, iss ! an vaster still, 
 
 Tha varmint zim'd ta vly 
 Be hud an wotter ; " now I shil 
 
 Val auf I veel an die ! " 
 I c^d'n spayk — thort I " yer go'th — " 
 
 I veel'd thit aul wiz gwayn, 
 Mee hans an legs wiz kts'nd bothe 
 
 An then thay stap'd tha trayn. 
 
 I had'n scacely tich'd tha groun 
 
 In vancy ez I val'd, 
 Wen zidd'nly I yer'd a zoun, 
 
 An pin mee veet I scral'd ; 
 " Zin Tommis's! ' I yer'd min zay, 
 
 It strik'd mur uv a hayp 
 Ta vine thit neerly aul tha way 
 
 I'd uny bin ta zlayp. 
 
20 HUMERISS POAMS 
 
 Thic draym, tho', meade mer in a zwet, 
 
 An veelin mortil quare, 
 I went an got a drap a wet 
 
 An zot down in a chare ; 
 I wadd'n wul long arter that., 
 
 An veel, in thicky ride, 
 That tho' in boddy I wiz nat, 
 
 Ma spurrit raud owtzide. 
 
 Now brither Cowper waz a man, 
 
 Like mee, uv girt raynown, 
 An wen ha'd ort tal in ez haid 
 
 Ha twk'd an vraut et down ; 
 Tha diffirns between hee an mee 
 
 I scacely need ta tul, — 
 Hee draym'd abovvt old Janny G. — 
 
 I draym'd abowt mezul. 
 
 A Meetin cal'd spayshil wiz hold Mundy nun, 
 An tha rayz'n tha Kownzil wiz zumm'nd za zwn, 
 Wiz ta yer an kinsidder kimplaynts thit wiz meade 
 Uv tha Bunny bein twk'd vur a private chaps treade;* 
 I wiz in a firnt pleace an cud zee aul wiz thare, 
 An wiz zittin (zom distins) tha rite a tha Mare, 
 
 * The only object in introducing this subject of the Exeter 
 Bonhay pleasure-ground job is to show the universality of 
 Nathan's talent, and that he is not only an elegant writer but 
 an accomplished orator. 
 
 In order as Pope says to show 
 
 " What mighty contests rise from trivial things." 
 
BE NATHAN HOGG. 21 
 
 An ess yer'd tha vokes zay az ess com'd pin thare zight — 
 " Ijiik dee zee Measter Hogg — ha'll zit min aul vright," 
 I then tuk zom notes way a zlat an zom chalk, 
 Uv a girt dayl a gibrish I yer'd in thare talk ; 
 I muss zay that zom awm com'd out purty wul, 
 Bit noan awmin thare a tal aykil'd mezul; 
 
 or in other words, the circumstance to which Nathan's maiden 
 speech is to be attributed, it is necessary to quote the following 
 epistle of his on behalf of a respected relative, addressed to the 
 Town Council of Exeter. 
 
 Ginelmen, 
 
 This com'th haupin et'll vind'ee in gud hulth, ez 
 layves mee at presint thank God vu'rt. 
 
 Tha naub'l hack juWe a diid way wan Y , an tha 
 
 Bunny, shaws thit yu've a mine vur ta purmote an hinkurridge 
 tha treade a tha zitty. Now a kuzz'n a mine, wan Dorrity 
 Zlipzlop, ith a tiik in a kontrack vrini tha Barriks vur washin 
 tha zaujers close, an hur want'h mee ta ax a ju if ju wid let 
 hur hitch up a line vrim tha neck uv tha tiu statty, tap a 
 
 Norny, ta wan a trees be Capp'n H s, jist ta hang owt a vu 
 
 things. Tha ole dumman cant avord ta pay ort,bit hur widd'n 
 mine dicing tha kownsils washin vur dree months, vur nort, jist 
 ez a zort a kinsiderashin like. Hur zartinly idcl'n wan a tha 
 
 Town Kownsil like Measter Y , bit hicr wash'th vur ziveril 
 
 a thic boddy worn ju mit naw be tha vine gittin up a thare 
 linnin. 
 
 I darezay tha tother ole washerhummen want be playz'd, 
 bit if ju cud dw vur Dorrity wat I ax, hur mit be abul ta teake 
 tha nex kontrack et a hapmy less thin tothers cud du wat 
 pays vur thare awn grown. 
 
 I be ginelmen, yours aveckshinitly, 
 
 NATHAN HOGG. 
 
 P.S. — Dorrity jist raymind'th me, thit ef a zhow'r com'th 
 
 aun et widd'n be murch moar trubble jist ta let Capp'n H 
 
 teake in tha close. Ez var ez a rayfuzil ez kinsarn'd, ef hur 
 
 cant ha tha grown, hur'll be ablaijed ta du ez Measter Y 
 
 dret'nd ta du — teake hur bisniss owt a tha zitty. 
 
22 HUMERISS POAMS 
 
 Vur arter zom time id bin wastid be aych, 
 I rauze up an gid min tlia volerin spaych ; 
 I naw tiz rayportid moast cabical wul, 
 Vur a vury gud rayz'n I dud et mezul. 
 
 Measter Hogg then stud vorrid anmucli'd downez ching, 
 Gid tu ur dree kauffs wen ha tride ta begin, 
 Bit vur vwl, haf a nower tha cheers wiz za lowd 
 Thit ha c^d'n du nort zeptin nad ta tha crowd ; 
 Bit wen thay got hoced an wiz blaijed vur ta stap, 
 A need'l ur pin mit be yer'd vur ta drap . 
 Measter Mare, ha then zed, Im most playz'd vur ta zee, 
 Zeth ez wurship, yuve rayly tha hadvantidge a mee, 
 Zeth tha spayker, zur, 'low mer yer mim'ry ta jogg, 
 I'm tha chap yuW yer'd tul aw za murch, Nathan Hogg ; 
 Zeth ez wurship, laur jayly! my ivers! now be ? 
 I azhore, me vrend, dith ma prowd vur ta zee; — 
 Had a like ta zheake bans, vur ha yestl'd abowt, 
 Bit wiz dring'd up za close that a cwd'n com owt. 
 Zeth I, tother day, I jist drap'd ee a line 
 Vur wan Dorrity Zlipzlop, a kuzz'n a mine, 
 Vur ta let hur hang owt a vu things by em by 
 Vrim tha neck a Sir Tommis's Statty ta dry ; 
 
 An ta let Capp'n H , ez tha trubb'l wiz zmal, 
 
 Jist ta teake in tha close, ef a zhower shud val. 
 Now I beg vur ta zay , zince I vraut thicky letter, 
 Tha public hev meade mer kinsidder et better ; 
 Zo allow mer, yer Worship an Kownsil ta zay 
 Thit I wish ta withdra wat I vraut tother day, 
 An ef yu'd a let et, ur lend et, ur zole et, 
 Ha muss be a himprint twoad thit wid hole et. 
 
BE NATHAN HOGG. 23 
 
 (Yur tha cheerin bust owt in aul pairts like a vlearne, 
 
 An zom cal'd a pin V ta dw jist tha zeame.) 
 
 Tha spayker (that's mee) then kintenid ez spaych, 
 
 An zeth measter Mare I beant gwayn vur ta praych, 
 
 Bit wen thay tu kownsilmen shet up thare clatter 
 
 111 tul thur mee mine, in tu wards, pin tha matter. 
 
 (Yur tha Mare nack'd ez hammer an holler'd owt " stap !" 
 
 Wen tha talkin an noyze most immaydyitly drap.) 
 
 Tha spayker (that's mee) then rayzwm'd in a voyce 
 
 Thit wid meake minny spaykers veel glad an rayjoyce; 
 
 An zeth he Measter Mare, now kimplaynt ith bin meade 
 
 Thit twiz jillizy, uny ! be chaps uv tha treade; — 
 
 Thit ez var ez tha Bimny's kinsarn'd, tiz aul talk, 
 
 Vur a vury yu went thare ta yuz et ta walk ! 
 
 I've a likewize a yerd et hincraysis tha treade — 
 
 Thit a biggerer kontrack wiz niver a meade, 
 
 An et hath a bin argid most mortilly warm, 
 
 Thit tha wurks wid'n du nat no gud nur no harm. 
 
 Measter Mare an town Kownsil, now hark'n ta mee, 
 
 An I think this ez humbug yw'll vury zun zee ; 
 
 Thit et ez ez a shawn bee tha vury vust vack 
 
 Thit tha tothers be jillis ta zee zich a hack. 
 
 Now I zildim tend meetins, bee em big uns ur zmal, 
 
 Bit I've liik'd pin this boddy's tha vather uv al, 
 
 Z7z duty's ta hack an purvent inny bother, 
 
 An ta zee thit wan cheel beant moar vav'rd thin tother. 
 
 Treade jillisy uny ? a passel a cant! 
 
 I shud like measter Mare vur ta naw wat they want. 
 
 Yti'll vine et tha gurtist misteak yw've a meade 
 
 Ef ju git hinterveerin way wan tuthers treade. 
 
24 HUMERISS PGAMS. 
 
 ( Yur tha cheers wiz za lowd thit mee voyce wiz a drown, 
 
 Zo I thort vur a minnit I'd better zit down.) 
 
 Wen I rauz'd aul tha pleace, vur ta yer wat I zayd, 
 
 Aul ta wanee becom zilent an still ez tha dayd. 
 
 Then zeth I talk uv tinkrin himprwvin uv greens — 
 
 Yur wurship id better tul that ta mureens, 
 
 (This yur zayin wiz thort be most aul ta be cut. 
 
 Ez thay shaw'd wiz tha keace be aul kickin thare vut.) 
 
 Wat d'ee think then zeth I, thit pore vokes got no mine 
 
 Ta injoy tha grass plats an vus aykilly vine ? 
 
 D'ee think thit thare noshin uv mwszik's za dull 
 
 Thit tha hamm'rin uv hiern wid &u jist za wull? 
 
 I think measter Mare ju wid differint vu\ 
 
 Ef yud jist let mer gie thur a tun pin tha vlztt. 
 
 (Yur thay cheer'd mer agane an cal'd owt vur ta play, 
 
 Bit I promish'd I'd dm et ta zom vwtur day. 
 
 Zeth I in tu wurds, I beg leeve ta kinkkd, 
 
 An I haup y^'ll teake warnin be wat yu've a dwd, 
 
 An let tha vokes veelins be vust uv aul nawn, 
 
 Bevaur jiove a lendid wat idd'n yer awn, 
 
 Vur a chap ju may get, (ez ta day yu kin zee) 
 
 Way nat haf za murch zens as Dorrity an mee. 
 
 Hevin vinish'd I went vur ta muv vrim mee zayt, 
 
 Bit laur ! nat a minnit tha public wid wayt, 
 
 Zo midst cheers, zich ez niver wiz yer'd I veel zhore, 
 
 I wiz car'd down tha strayt an rite horn ta vaur dore. 
 
BE NATHAN HOGG. 25 
 
 <$xpwpw w §0p%* 
 
 ?7iver wid a thort tb.it wan, 
 Like mee, wid be za girt a man 
 
 Ez I've turn'd owt ta bee ? 
 A vw yurs zince nat harly naw'd, 
 An now way neame aul zpred abrawd 
 
 Ez iv'ry wan kin zee. 
 
 ZTiver wid a thort, I zay, 
 Thit I wiz baurn ta vrite away 
 
 Za murch, an eet za wul; — 
 Ta larn tha vokes zich cliver things, 
 An then, ta zee how wul I brings 
 
 Min aulzo aun ta spul. 
 
 Bit wats moar cwryisser thin al, 
 Ta think et shud ta me beval 
 
 Zich mighty vokes ta zee 
 Ez I've a zeed ; way tidd'n wan 
 Uv thowsins, al drwowt tha Ian? 
 
 Kin zay tha likes a mee. 
 
 Now ef yu uny chwz ta luk. 
 Wen vust yu aup'n this yer hut, 
 
 Thare stareth'ee in tha veace ; — 
 A Purnce Impairyil zort mer owt, 
 Mee larnin ta tul'n al abowt — 
 
 Iss ! ackshly twaz tha kease. 
 
 * These recollections are founded on facts, and may be 
 literally accepted when not qualified by a fooc note. 
 
26 HUMEKISS FOAMS 
 
 Wan Hiaurnin arely I wiz horn, 
 Wen way a nack a messidge com, 
 
 Ta zay thit I miss playze 
 Ta measter Palmers hurry down ; 
 Wul zo I did an thare I vown 
 
 A Ginelmin et ayze. 
 
 Thick buk uv mine — yu naw tha wan- 
 Ha'd got aul aup'n in ez han, 
 
 I mine et vury wul ; 
 Ha zim'd hadmirin way a zniile — 
 An vur ta think et weth a wile — 
 Thic picktur uv mezuL 
 
 Ha nmv'd ez hat, I p^l'd mee hare, 
 Drade aup me mowth, (I zeed'n stare) 
 
 An zhet'n vury zun ; 
 Ha'd got a hye jis like a hawk, 
 Bit, laur a macy ! wen ha spauk 
 
 Twiz nmzik in tha twn. 
 
 Ez vigger et wiz midlin tal, 
 
 Ez mowth wiz nether girt nur zmal, 
 
 Ez nawz wiz mortil gran ; 
 In vack ef yw'll bit uny zee 
 Tha girt Napolyins pickter, hee 
 
 'Th a got min %u tha man. 
 
 Zeth hee I want ta yer a vu 
 
 Zich purty spaykin chaps ez ju, 
 
 Ta put thare talk in pirnt ; 
 Ha talk'd abowt tha u an a 
 An lots a things, zeth I way la! 
 
 Tha moast awt yuve a lirnt. 
 
BE NATHAN HOGG. 27 
 
 'Tiz uiiy vrim yei buk, dear zur, 
 Ha zeth, bit cud yn tul nia wur 
 
 Thit I cud yer et spauk ? 
 Iss vath I zeth, I zhorely can, 
 (I tich'd ez butt'n haul way ina han) 
 
 Zeth I com owt ta Stauk.* 
 
 I let min go bit I'll be daz ! 
 Ef I'd a noshin u ha waz 
 
 Ontil ha went away ; 
 Bit stop! I be bevaur ma tale, 
 Ha zed ha muss be auff be rayl, 
 
 An thervaur cwd'n stay. 
 
 Ha veel'd quite zorry — that a did ! 
 An ef ha'd time ha rayly wid 
 
 Go owt an yer min tul ; 
 Bit ef za be I'd turn tha zung 
 Uv Zolamin inkt my tung 
 
 Ha'd pay ma vur et wul. 
 
 Wul I agreed an way tha zeame, 
 Ha tuk an went an vraut ez neame 
 
 A pin tha cownter thare ; 
 An ez ha com'd an talk'd a bit, 
 Pore Palmer zim'd twk'd in a vit, 
 
 An maze -like zim'd ta stare. 
 
 Zich mowthes, yu niver, thit ha meade, 
 An aup'n wide ez jaws ha drade, 
 
 Then pok'd ez vinger owt; 
 Then aul ta wance et curr'd ta mee 
 Ha wantid mer zummat ta zee, — 
 
 Wat waz et aul abowt ? 
 
 * Stoke' Canon. 
 
28 HUMEPJSS POAMS 
 
 Tha ginelmin then rauz'd ez hat, 
 I cwd'n du tha likes a that, 
 
 Becuz mine wadd'n aun ; 
 Ha went owt way a jaynteel stop, 
 Poor Palmer u wiz vit ta drap 
 
 Zeth zauffly " Ez er gaun ?' 
 
 Zeth he " way darn yer stupid wig, 
 Thee diss'n naw how mort'l big 
 
 Ha ez thits jist agaun ! " 
 Zeth I Ci way wat d'ee tul aw now ? " 
 Zeth he " hat law yu did'n bow — 
 
 Tiz Purnce Napoleaun." 
 
 " Git owt ! " zeth I, " Tis, vath! " zeth he, 
 Now uny jist lwk yer an zee' 
 
 Daunt be a zimpl zaul ; 
 I rayd ez neame " Aw, wat a gawk ! 
 I ax'n ta go owt ta Stauk — 
 
 An tich'd ez butt'n-haul ! " 
 
 Zeth Palmer, Iss ! I zeed'ee d^'t } 
 ^.n tride ta meak'ee yur ma vwt, 
 
 Bit, no, yu widd'n yur ! 
 Wan thing's howiver weth a wile — 
 I zeed'n gie a plezint zmile 
 
 Wen thit ju went za vur 
 
 Wul now I muss com tu a end, — 
 Tha wurk ess promish'd horn I zend, 
 
 Wat com'd awt yu kin zee ; 
 Ef, ez I zed, yull uny lwk 
 Jist et tha aup'nin uv this buk, 
 
 Yu need'n ax a mee. 
 
BE NATHAN HOGG. 29 
 
 Bevaur I stap I tul'ee wat, 
 
 I've zeed tha Purnce zix times zince that, 
 
 An this yer zims ta mee, — 
 Ef zom uv owr pore stick'd up chaps 
 Cud zee min thay wid larn wat (praps) 
 
 A ginelmin shud bee. 
 
 Now hevin tole thur moar thin wance, 
 How vust I naw'd tha Purnce a Vrance, 
 
 Mee tale I'll korry vore ; 
 An arter yu've a yer'd ma tul 
 Abowt anuther Purnce, ez wul, 
 
 I'll tul tha zummat moar. 
 
 Wul, then, agane, et Kirt'n town, 
 Wen I wiz horn ta Exter bown, 
 
 Nat vury long ago ; 
 I got intu a korridge, thare, 
 An zeed a boy way aulburn hare, 
 
 An veace thit waz zo-zo. 
 
 I zot down tap tha kz^shin'd zayt, 
 An thort et luk'd most crwel nayt 
 
 Vur zeck'nd class avare ; 
 I drade up in tha caunder vlat, — 
 Thinks I I'll aup'n up a chat 
 
 Way thay thare. coveys thare, 
 
 Tu ginelmen wiz way tha lad, 
 I thort et mit ha bin ez dad — 
 
 Ez hunkel praps ez wwl ; 
 Vur wan awm com'd ta ware I zot — 
 Zeth hee ta mee " Ess dree hev got 
 
 This korridge tu ourzul.* 
 
 * The 1st Class Saloon Carriage into which Nathan entered 
 by mistake, the Crediton functionaries, not being advised 
 of the quality of their 1st class passengers, having unlocked the 
 door. 
 
30 HUMERISS POAMS 
 
 " Wat aul awmin ?" I then ray plied— 
 Way dree uv'ee cant zhorely ride 
 
 In aul tha zayts to wance ; 
 A zmile then com'd acrass ez veace, 
 "Aw, now, I zed," I zee tha keace — 
 
 Yu larn thic boy ta dance ! " 
 
 I rayly thort thay wid a zplit, 
 
 An wan awmin wiz blaijed ta zit — 
 
 Zeth hee yu've " zolv'd tha riddle!" 
 Zo now yu naws aul yu kin naw, 
 Gwd maurnin fee! 'zeth I wul, law! 
 
 Eum dancin way no viddle ! * 
 
 Wul, thinkin wat I zed wiz tiu, 
 I zeth, wa)' nat no moar ta dw, 
 
 Wul zoce I wish'ee wul ! 
 Tha boy ha laf d an gied a nad 
 Zo did ez hunkel an ez dad — • 
 
 I dwd the zeame mezul, 
 
 Wul zun tha trayn ta Exter com, 
 I vury quick got owt therevrom, 
 
 Wen, laur a macy mee ! 
 A lot a vokes stud hat in han, 
 (Shwd zay, et layst, twiz veefty wan 
 
 Ta wulkim thicky dree. 
 
 Thay bow'd an scrap'd an layd min tu 
 A ram ware, way a girt ta du, 
 
 A leb'ner wiz praypar'd ; 
 Bit wen thay tole mer, aw I'm daz ! 
 JJ thicky boy an tu men waz 
 
 My ivers how I stared ! 
 
 * There is some reason to fear that Nathan has been following 
 the example, in this instance, of a great literary predecessor — 
 indulging in " Imaginary conversation." 
 
BE NATHAN HOGG. 3l 
 
 Wul U dee think wiz thicky dree 
 Thit nadded an thit talk'd ta mee 
 
 Wen in tha car I'd been ? 
 (Twiz nat ez unkel ur ez dad) — 
 Purnce Auther wiz thic litt'l lad 
 
 Ta zin uy our Queen. 
 
 I thort ta zee inin dress'd za vine, 
 An thit way gidd'n things ha'd zhine, 
 
 But laur, et wadd'n zo ! 
 Ez var ez wat ha ad awn gose, 
 Ha hadd'n aun no better close 
 
 Thin our yung Measter Joe. 
 
 In vack ez var ez outwird shaw, 
 A pin me wurd yu widd'n naw 
 
 Thit iver ju& a zeen — 
 (Wayout a bit a gwld'n brayd, 
 Ur vethers a pin tap ez haid) 
 
 Tha zin uv our Queen. 
 
 I tole thur, wen I'd d?td thic tale, 
 Playze gitdniss thit I wid'n vayl 
 
 A zummat moar ta tul, 
 Abowt tha Royal vokes I've zeed, — 
 I'll now du wat I zed I wid — 
 
 Tis bowt tha Queen hurzul. 
 
 I niver shill virgit, wan day, 
 
 Wile l^kin owt pin Plimmith zay — 
 
 Twiz back in veefty-vow'r ; 
 Tha guns wiz shettin neer an var 
 Till, vath, I thort I'd gaun ta war 
 
 Tha powd'r ad zich pow'r. 
 
32 HUMEPJSS POAMS 
 
 I'd most begin ta luk abowt 
 Ta zee zom way ta vight et owt 
 
 Ez jaujers auft ta ckt,* 
 Wen, aul ta wance, zich cheers arauz 
 Ez iver com'd vrim hwmin jaws — 
 
 I join'd in tlia balu. 
 
 A lot uv zhips com'd steemin in — 
 Twiz zed thit wan awm car'd tha Queen, 
 
 " My hyes," zeth I " lets zee! " 
 I shuv'd aun an I lwk'd aul roun 
 In haups, ez upwirds they wiz bown, 
 
 Tha gwld'n crown ta zee. 
 
 In vack I kain'd vrim deck ta deck, 
 Ontil I neerly crick'd ma neck, 
 
 Nat y^s'd ta zich avares ; 
 I ax'd a chap thare, playze ta gie 
 A noshin ware tha Queen id bee, — 
 
 Ha zed hur'd gaun down stairs. 
 
 Ha'd zeed hur crown et waz za bright 
 Ez il way cannels aul alight— 
 
 Wid I go long way hee ? 
 Twiz uny jist owt tu Mownt Wize, 
 A pleace ha zed hur alwis lize — 
 
 Ware hur I'd zhore ta zee. 
 
 Ez went zom way, ha mead a stop, 
 ^ln zeth ta mee "I zay ole chap — 
 
 Tis better ta take care! 
 1st got ort vallyble about ? 
 Cuz ef ju hev jist teake owt — 
 
 Thares lots uv prigs owt thare. 
 
 * It will be seen by reference to Nathan's former work that he 
 was then serving his country as a Militiaman. 
 
BE NATHAN HOGG. 33 
 
 Ha drade ez waistcote aup'n wide, 
 An shuv'd a watch an puss inzide, 
 
 Wul that I zeth ez cut ! 
 I thort tha chap wiz cntel kine, 
 Ta ax ef ha slmd -put in mine, 
 
 Anzol let min dw't. 
 
 Wul zun ess raych'd owt tu Mownt Wize, 
 An zich a mob wiz thare, my hyes ! 
 ' Ez scace wiz ever zeen ; 
 Tha zhips wiz lyin down belaw, 
 An vath et w&z a purty zhaw, 
 
 Bit ware zeth I's tha Queen ? 
 
 I turn'd, raysayvin no rayply, 
 " Darnation zayz'n," zing'd owt I, 
 
 " Wares thicky vuller gaun ? 
 Ha'th got ma munny, an ma puss, 
 Likewize tha watch — a girt dayl wuss — 
 
 Vur thicky wadd'n ma awn." 
 
 Wul, auf I zot ta zarch'n owt, 
 Bit arter ramlin aul abowt, 
 
 Ta cut tha story zhort, 
 I niver zeed'n vrom thic day, 
 Tha uny thing thit I kin zay 
 
 Ez " wit bort ez wit tort." 
 
 I stay'd et horn tha nex tu days, 
 Zeth T, " tha Queen may go hurways, 
 
 Vur aul tha likes a mee;" 
 Bit hevin yer'd hur wid unbark 
 Ta go an luk et Zaltrim Park, 
 
 Thort I, Til go an zee. 
 
 F 
 
34 HUMERISS POAMS. 
 
 Wul, up I went a mile ur tw, 
 An voun thit wat I yer' wiz tra, 
 
 Vur hunderds tliare I zeed ; 
 Tha ginelvoks wiz stud inzide, 
 Wile crass tha creek, thatother zide, 
 
 Wiz navvys, ur thick breed. 
 
 Then zidd'nly thare rauz'd a cry, 
 Thit zim'd ta ayko dm tha sky, 
 
 My ivers yers tha Queen ! 
 Tha vlag wiz vlyin in tha park, 
 Twiz thort thit hur wid thare unbark, 
 
 Bit laur ! thay waz twk'd in. 
 
 Bevaur cwd zay Jack Rabinzin ! 
 Tha Royal bote wiz urnin in, 
 
 Tha common vokes among; 
 Tha zaylers meade a bungle awt, 
 Et layst, I spose twiz thare vawt, 
 
 Cuz Queens cant dw no vrong. 
 
 Iss, vath ! intu tha creek thay urn'd, 
 An zich a zight, a/w, I'll be burn'd ! 
 
 Bevaur wiz niver zin ; 
 Up auver a girt ruffstoan wal, 
 Tha zaylers waz ablayged ta hal, 
 
 Be foce our naub'l Queen. 
 
 Purnce Albert got up be ez zul, 
 Tha litt'l purnces dud ez wul, 
 
 An wen thay got up tap, 
 My ivers ! twaz a purty job, 
 Vur thare wiz aul awm in tha mob, 
 
 An cud'n muY a stop. 
 
BE NATHAN HOGG. 35 
 
 Tha zaylers zing'd owt, " corn, I zay, 
 Dzt, vur hur Majesty meake way," 
 
 An ulbaw'd tu en vra : 
 Tha Queen kang'd pin tha Purnce's lift, 
 "Wile way ez rite arm ha meade shift 
 
 Hur Majesty ta dra; 
 
 Tha litt'l Purnces scral'd along 
 Way difficulty drw tha throng, 
 
 A laffin, vit ta zplit ; 
 Thay zim'd ta think " laur m«cy rnee ! 
 Now idd'n this a mort'l spree, 
 
 Thit ess daunt auffin git." 
 
 Wul, arter a girt dayl ta dw, 
 Thay manidged vur ta ulbaw drw, 
 
 An raych tha tuther zide; 
 Kinveyances wiz stannin thare — 
 Dree korridges, I think, an pair — 
 
 Ta teake rain vur a ride. 
 
 Thay stap'd a minnit, praps, ur tu, 
 An thare I cort a purty xu 
 
 Uv aul tha Eoyal voke ; 
 Tha Queen zim'd cruel owt a pleace, 
 I never zeed za urd a veace ; — 
 
 Hur cwd'n zee tha joke. 
 
 Hur zart'nly nad tu tha crowd, 
 Bit wan cud zee be how ur bow'd, 
 
 Hur did'n like it wul ; 
 My ivers ! u wid hev a thort 
 Thit Kings an Queens id tempers ort 
 
 Like wat I got mezul ? 
 
36 PIUMERISS FOAMS 
 
 Tha yung wans tu, way Royal blid, 
 Dwd jist ez tother child'rn wid, 
 
 Zeth I, wul girt ur zmal, 
 Tiz plain thit Purnces, Kings an Queens,. 
 Be jist like iny uther beens — 
 Bit Imman arter a\. 
 
 I thort, in cms, ta zee tha Queen 
 Like wat I ha in pickters zeen, 
 
 Way zepter, crown, an vur :- 
 Hur wared a bnnnet meade a stra, 
 In vack, I've zeed moar vinery, la ! 
 
 Apin a dressmaker. 
 
 "Wul, wen thay ad a zettl'd down, 
 They aul aw'm drauv up drwtha groun, 
 
 To \uk et Zaltrim howze ; 
 Now wance up tu thic pleace I 'd bin, 
 Thinks I I'llmeake a zhorterrin, 
 
 An cut acrass tha mowz. 
 
 I dwd et, an com'd up abowt 
 Tha time ta ketch min comin owt, 
 
 An walkin tap tha green; 
 J.nnow an then up close I'd hike 
 I cud a tich'd, if I'd a like, 
 
 Tha gearmint uv tha Queen. 
 
 Thare wadd'n moar thin tu ur dree, 
 Bezides tha Royal vokes an mee, 
 
 An wen I nmv'd mee hat 
 Hur nadded way a purty mile, 
 Thort I, " way in a litt'l wile, 
 
 Hur wid'n mine a chat." 
 
BE NATHAN HOGG. 37 
 
 Laur ! wat a change thare ez zeth I, 
 Ta wan tha vokes a stannin by, 
 
 Tha urd wiz aul agaun, 
 An now liur veace wiz zuant quite, 
 Et wadd'n nether urd nur white, 
 
 Bit zweet ta luk apon. 
 
 Thay drauv away jist ez thay com, 
 An vury likely zira got horn, 
 
 I wadd'n thare ta zee ; 
 Bit I kin zay vur aul an wance, 
 A vury yu hev ad tha chance 
 
 Ta zee tha Queen like mee. 
 
 Wul, now I hev a dud mee ryme, 
 I niver zeed hur zince thic time, 
 
 Bit aw, I've rayd uv hur ! 
 I naw tha change thit hur'th a zin, 
 Et com'th ta iabrer an ta Queen, 
 
 Za long's thay torry here. 
 
 Wan awmin thit I zeed com vore 
 Yrim thicky barge, es now no moar, 
 
 An tu eth morrid been ; 
 Way veelin hart I kin bit zay, 
 Wile in this wurdle hur mit stay, 
 
 God's blessins pin tha Queen 
 
MUCKST LANE. 
 
 Nat minny miles vrim Kirton Town, 
 (A pleace ju naw uv girt raynown,) 
 Thare ez a way thits niver clayn, 
 Cal'd be tha vullidge " Mucksy Lane,' 
 Za awvul wet, an vul a mucks, 
 Tint tidd'n vit vur pigs nur ducks ; 
 An ef et waz tiz trubbl'd zo 
 Thit neaste tha spot thay dars'n go. 
 Vur yurs an yurs, I've yer'd et tole, 
 Way ghosts tis vwl ez et kin hole, 
 An auff way vright ma hair'th a stud 
 Ta yer tha things thits thare a dud : 
 Bit vust I bleeve et ez tha keace 
 Ez yuzhil ta dayscribe tha pleace. 
 Wul, now I think I shant be vrong 
 Ta zay thit tiz a myell long, 
 An vul za narra ez a ditch 
 In vack kin meake yer tu hans tich : 
 Pin tap tha badges hwd's a graw'd 
 Za thick thit hang'th acrass tha rawd, 
 
BE NATHAN HOGG. 39 
 
 Zo tli.it tha zin kin niver com, 
 Bit ez inti-er shet owt thervrom; 
 An vurdermoar tiz vul a zlotter, 
 An dree pairts auver shu in watter ; 
 Zo. thee mit's gess twid be a trapse 
 Vur ort ind^d way mort'l shapse ; 
 Zo vury zildim, nite nur day, 
 Be vokes zeed walkin tliicky way, 
 Exzep pin times wen thay'm foce put 
 An blaidg'd ta meake a zhorter cut ; 
 Bit dru thic lane za zhore's tliay'd pass, 
 Thay wid zom ayvil com acrass ; 
 In vack I've yerd ma Granfer zay 
 Thit wance ha com'd dru thic thare way, 
 Wile bringing horn zom eggs an butter, 
 Wen zomthin hat min in tha gutter ; 
 Ha niver yer'd no zite nur zoun 
 Till thare nex maurnin ha wiz voun: — 
 Zom zed ha'd drink'd, bit twadd'n trw, 
 Ha wadd'n no moar drunk thin yu\ 
 Wul, now jist et tha tother end, 
 Z7v Mucksy Lane, thare ez a bend 
 Thit layd'th mtu a lot a mowz, 
 An thare stan'th up a rwin'd howze 
 Ware, ef a hunder'd pown y^t'd give, 
 No crayt'r, now, wid dare ta live ; — 
 Twiz quite anuff ta yer — aw laur! — 
 Thare tales thit liv'd thare yers avaur. 
 Tha lass now lives pin ower heel — 
 Tarn Chidley an ez wive an cheel, — 
 
40 HUMERISS POAMS 
 
 Z7r nat ez cheel vur I shud zay 
 
 Hur wadd'n baurn in thic thare day. 
 
 I've yer'd min zay, wen vust thay went 
 
 Ta live thare, zich a awvul zent 
 
 (Bowt twulve a clock) wid zhet in dnt 
 
 Tha kriveces an kay haul tu, 
 
 Thit Tarn an hur id auff'n urn'd 
 
 Owt dores vur veer thay shnd be burn'd ; 
 
 An drw tha ram thare wid be zich 
 
 A nasty zmul an yum. an zmitch, 
 
 An wen thare lite thay wid put tu, 
 
 Tha cannel aul zim'd burnin h\u • — 
 
 Zom zed weniver et wid rayn, 
 
 Tha zmul wid rish up diu tha drayn ; — 
 
 Yu" 1 !! zay wen aul ma story's out 
 
 Twiz spurrits tryin ta stink em out : 
 
 Now vindin this wurk widd'n sar 
 
 Tha spurrits dwd moar wisser var, 
 
 An tride be knack an crake an zlam, 
 
 Ta vrighten an ta dray've out Tarn : 
 
 No zuner wid min bee in baid 
 
 An tap tha piller ress thare haid, 
 
 Thin thare wid turn up zich a rattle 
 
 As if whole urgmints waz ta battle ; 
 
 Anuff ta turn ez up Tarn zot 
 
 Moast ivry drap a blid ha'd got 
 
 An zom times in tha dayd a nite 
 
 Thay lukd an zeed a dredful zite, 
 
BE NATHAN HOGG. 41 
 
 Vur in tha cwrt thare waz a stwd, 
 
 A faymale vorm — za Lard's hur cwd — 
 
 A zinging aim way zich a noyze, 
 
 Yu niver yer 'd viim hitman voyze, 
 
 An wen tha winder up ha vling'd, 
 
 This yers tha zong ha zed hur zing'd : — 
 
 Wy are I chrai'd ta zich despare, 
 Ta wander in tha midnite air, 
 Wayowt no hundercote nur hoze, 
 In vack, entier wayowt no cloze. 
 
 Aw ! I kil'd me luv m yers gaun bye, 
 
 An. yer I are accordinlye. 
 
 Iss ! I be bown vnr ta bide an stare 
 
 Dree times a wick et thick chimber thare, 
 
 An if in case iny thare dith zlayp, 
 
 Aw ! I be bown vnr ta sife an wayp, 
 
 Vur I kil'd ma luv in yers gaun bye, 
 An now I'm punish'd accordinlye. 
 
 Iss, zhore, tis a vack, wat I do zay, 
 I mix'd zum pnyz'n in ez tay, 
 An tho twadd'n nawd, niver zince I have 
 Bin abul ta zleep in mee zilent grave. 
 Aw ! warnin teake be wat I zay, 
 Niver puyz'n put in yer luvyer's tay. 
 
 No zuner ad hur stap'd hur tone, 
 Than auff hur pitch'd ta sife an grone, 
 An iviy minnit gied owt zitch 
 A dredful, awvul, zort a skritch ; 
 An in thic spot, ur vurry neer't, 
 H^r stop (ees vath !) till up Cockleert. 
 Wul, arter Tarn id larn'd tha zong, 
 Ta change ez xum ha wadd'n long, 
 An thare tha Gost went in ta zlayp, 
 Vur Tarn's wive yerd hur sife an wayp ; 
 
42 HUMERISS FOAMS 
 
 Zom zed et wadd'n no zich thing, 
 Thit varnier Bazzel's mayde wid vling 
 A zheet aroun hur vorm, an how, 
 'Long way hur chap hur'd crass tha movr r 
 An wen tha winder up thay vling'd, 
 Hur 'twaz thit sif'd, an gron'd, an zing'd. 
 Tarn auft ta naw, thit yerd tha zong, 
 An now wul zwear tha vokes wis vrong; 
 Vur, ez Tarn zeth " zich zounds, I'm drat r 
 How du min try ta cownt vur that ?" 
 U& yer tha tun thay zun wid naw't, 
 C^dniver com vrim aithly draut. 
 
 Bit this beant aul thit waz tha bane 
 Uv this yer hauntid Muxy Lane. — 
 Tha ghosts, thay wid'n bin za bad 
 (Tho bad thay bee), ef Zat'n ad 
 Nat in moast crael, awvul zhapse , 
 Ezzul tatk'd up ta drayve an trapse. 
 Bit zo a did an macy mee ! 
 I vancy now ez hwf I zee, 
 An pitchvork an ez eye uv vi-er, 
 Aul vrizzin ez a trayd'th tha mier. 
 Wan time ha com'd a girt black dog, 
 An bulchid vore a vi-ery vog, 
 An wen wan nite yung Rabin Vinch 
 Wiz comin drw, no nat a ninch 
 Ez veet cwd m^v in thay thare rucks, 
 Up tw ez ank'ls in tha mucks, 
 An wile way darkniss ha wiz blend, 
 Tha black do£ cort'n hole behend: 
 
BE NATHAN HOGG. 43 
 
 Ha skritcli'd an pwl'd way girt ta &m, 
 
 Till Zat'ns vangs zim'd ta brayk dm, 
 
 Wen auf ha urn'd, an niver stap 
 
 Till ha wiz rayly vit ta drap ; 
 
 An wen ha twk ez zmal things auf, 
 
 Tha zmul a burmstoan meade min kauff ; 
 
 An ware ole Zat'ns vangs id urn'd, 
 
 Et htk'd ez ef et ad bin burn'd ; 
 
 An pin a pleace (inzide ez zmals) 
 
 Ess must nat neame, ha vown dree seals, 
 
 Zom zed twiz varmer B's dog " zhip," 
 
 Thit dud et — thay dezarv'd tha wip ! 
 
 Tarn's naw et wadd'n quite za zmal, 
 
 Ez nat ta tul a bite vrim seal. 
 
 Anuther time et dayd a nite, 
 
 Will Mugvord zeed a dredvul zite, 
 
 An ha's a chap jio may zware by, 
 
 Vur, eet, ha'th niver tole a lie ; 
 
 I've yer'd min zay ez blid wid curdle 
 
 Ta d^«'t — ha cwd'n vur tha wurdle. 
 
 Wan nite (I've yer'd min tul tha tale) 
 
 Ha'd bin ta town an drink'd ez ale, 
 
 An comin horn be thicky pleace, 
 
 Ha yer'd way zich a zolem peace, 
 
 Zom hosses clatter drw tha mi-er, 
 
 Wich tiz'd, an vriz'd ez ef a vi-er ; 
 
 Ha got intu tha veeld ta zee, 
 
 Wen thare, ha zeed, — aw, macy mee ! — 
 
 Pin lwkin down intu tha raud, 
 
 A heace an murnin coclies draw'd, 
 
44 HUMEKISS FOAMS 
 
 Way hosses thit ad got no haid ; 
 
 Will niver veel'd za murch avray'd, 
 
 Vur pin tha vust, iss vath ! thare lide ? 
 
 A humman dress'd in wit owtzide, 
 
 An ivry stap along tha way, 
 
 Zingin abowt tha puyz'nd tay : 
 
 Tarn. Chidley zeed hur thic zeame nite, 
 
 Wich zhaw'd Will Mugvord in tha rite. 
 
 Tha drayvers pin tha furnt hoss zot, 
 
 An nat a haid id wan awm got ; 
 
 An aul awrn zhet out zich a zent, 
 
 Thit Will val'd auff tha hadge quite vent, 
 
 An thare ha lide in wan tha mowz 
 
 Till maurnin com, ta vetch tha cowz ; 
 
 Thay vown'n like a hedgehog roll'd, 
 
 Moast daid an steevin way tha cold, 
 
 Thay fetk'n horn, put min ta baid, 
 
 Bit hee vur days wiz auff ez haid, 
 
 In vack, ha'd zit an kick an kauff, 
 
 A zwarin thit ez haid wiz auff. 
 
 Twiz zed , both in an owt a church, 
 
 Thit Will id ad a drap tu murch, 
 
 An stid a zeein wat ha zaid, 
 
 Ha'd uny jist bin picksy laid ; 
 
 Bit twadd'n tm, vur wat dee think, 
 
 Had uny ad aight quarts ta drink, 
 
 Uv zyder, (I beleeve ez tale) 
 
 Bezides thic zingle quart uv ale ; 
 
 Uny a vair alio wince, that, 
 
 Way twid'n skacely harm a cat. 
 
BE NATHAN HOGG. 45 
 
 Wul, now anuther keace I'll tull, 
 Uv wat ta Roger Vlint bevul, 
 Bezide thic mucksy lane : — Nat now, 
 Bit zom time back, ha'd got a mow ; 
 Ez vokes id bin thare aul tha day, 
 Along way hee, a makin hay ; 
 An Roger thort, ta git et vore, 
 Ha'd stay an pwk up zummat moar. 
 Wul, thare ha stay'd till vury late, 
 Wen aul ta wance, rite auver gate, 
 A vigger jump'd, ha zeed'n dw't, 
 An naw'd 'n, zzm's a zeed ez Yut ; 
 Wul, arter'n urn'd a pack a houns, 
 Thit bulchid vire-twiz playn, be zouns, 
 Thit graw'd tu a unaithly yul, 
 Thay'd uny jist comd up vrim — wul ! 
 Bit niver mine, I veel ma veace 
 Tu vi-ery git to tul tha pleace. 
 Now, skace a minnit did hur lwk, 
 Bevaur et strik'd 'n boiit a -puk, 
 An ez on com'd tha cuss a man, 
 Ha zhet ez body under wan, 
 An thare ha lide, wile uppermust, 
 Ez zayt, uv cws„ wiz com'd tu vust^ 
 Laur ! zidd'nly, thare tap awn val'd, 
 A vwt za hot, thit Roger scal'd 
 Za bad, thit vur a midlin bit, 
 Ha c^d'n nether lie nur zit ; 
 Et vollems zpauk vur min, thit hee 
 Cud mwster kurridge vur ta bee 
 
46 HUMERISS POAMS. 
 
 Za aizy, an nat lowdly cal 
 Direck tint ha raysayv'd tha seal, 
 Ez nmvmints widd'n sqwat a egg, 
 In vack, a didd'n mwv a peg ; 
 Ontil, birn bye, brave vuller, hee 
 Begin ta kainy owt an zee, 
 Detarmind vur ta bide ez heff, 
 Ontil no skiddick awm wiz leff ; 
 Then up a got, an horn a scral'd, 
 An tuk' ta bayd, zo th.it (iss, vay !) 
 Ha cwd'n rize vur tux dree day ; 
 Tiz strange wat yuls thare bee in live- 
 Now, thic thare v^lish zex'ns wive 
 Zed Eoger'd drink'd a cupple qwart 
 A zj der moar thin thit ha ort, 
 Lide down, an vorty winks ha tuk ; 
 An, wile ha zlayp'd benayth tha p^k, 
 A dreem wiz urnin in ez haid, 
 Thit ha wiz zeein wat ha zaid, 
 An et tha time, thic warm tint's blend, 
 (A zlawwarm,)* sting 'd 'n irt behend; 
 An, vurder-moar, (hur zed, et zeems) 
 Com'd jist ta wurk in way ez dreems ; 
 An dreemin zich a curyiss thing, 
 Wiz wak'd thic minnit way tha sting ; 
 Bit, dang ma butt'ns, arter al, 
 A sting beant nort tal like a seal, 
 
 # The Slow-worm is, by the rustic population of our country 
 generally, supposed to be blind. 
 
BE NATHAN HOGG. 47 
 
 An, vurder-moar, hur cant be viite — 
 How cud a blendwarm zee ta bite ? 
 Now things id com za mort'l bad 
 Tarn rayly thoit lia shied git mad, 
 Wen zidd'nly ez wive kinsayv'd 
 A way, thay tliort, ta be relay vd: 
 Hur voreway zend ta Pass'n Giles, 
 V uny Hv'd a cupple myels, 
 Vur hee ta com direcMy, most, 
 Ta zee ef hee cud lie tha gost; 
 Tha nite thit hur wiz du ta com, 
 Tha Pass'n way ez vwtmin, Tom, 
 Com'd owt ta Tarn's, an thare thay bide, 
 Tha winder drade aul aup'n wide ; 
 An zhore anuff, et twulve a' Clock, 
 Tha gost hur stud thare like a stock, 
 An in tha glimmer uv tha mitn, 
 Agane strik'd up hur awvul tun ; 
 Tha Pass'n then pztt aun ez gown, 
 Tarn zed ha spos'd ha wid go down, 
 Tha Pass'n bid min hole ez bal, 
 Vur twid'n be no yws a tal, 
 Ta go za close, zo then ha zed — 
 ( An owt a winder put ez haid) 
 " Yung humman, be wat mort'l rite 
 1st thee com yer nite arter nite," 
 Ha ax'd hur zivril times, bit, no ! 
 Hur wid'n nether spayk nur go ; 
 Tha Pass'n then stap'd back a bit, 
 An tole ez vwtmin vur ta git 
 
48 EUMERISS FOAMS 
 
 A tub a waiter, wich a cktd, 
 An way et be tha winder stud ; 
 Tha Pass'n, then, ha meade a crass, 
 An zed, " be quick an dra et vass;" 
 When zidd'nly, wayowt adw, 
 Ha pitch'd tha tub-vwl rite owt drw, 
 An way zich foce ez arm ha zwitch'd, 
 Thit aul aw't tan tha spurrit pitch'd, 
 My ivers ! zich a howl hur gied, 
 An auf hur urn'd way veervui speed ; 
 Tha Pass'n way a zolem vow, 
 Zed hur wiz gaun vur iver now, 
 An arter gwayn down pin ez nees, 
 Zot down an ayt zom burd'n cheese ; 
 Then hom ha went, an nat avrayd, 
 Tarn an ez wive went up ta bayd; 
 Bit scacely ad thay shet thare hyes 
 Bevaur thay yer'd tha zulf zeame cries, 
 An then thare com'd a awvul crash — 
 Tha gost, tha chimber winder zmash ; 
 Tarn an ez missus then jump'd owt — 
 Put owt thare hayd an ldk'd abowt, 
 Bit nat a vorm wiz ta be zeed, 
 Tha gost thit dwl et ad a vleed. 
 Twiz zed by zilly voks ez how, 
 Jan Bazzel's may'd urnd twtha mow, 
 An thit hur man, hide in tha grass, 
 Com'd in direct an brauk tha glass ; 
 Bit him, I ax, cud thit be tru, 
 "Wen nat a stone com'd iver drw, 
 
HUMERISS POAJIS 49 
 
 Bezicles vur nites long arter that, 
 Zich noyze thit gosts cud uny hat, 
 Wiz yerd drw chimley, winder, dore, 
 Tarn veel'd twid niver stap no moar, — 
 In v«ck ha got in zich a vright 
 Thit aul ez narv wiz dud outrite ; 
 An bee tha Doctors awders hee 
 Wiz blaijed vrim thic^y houze ta vlee. 
 I've zed now thit pin ower heel, 
 Ha's livin way ez wive an cheel ; 
 I've tole tha trwth, bit if za bee, 
 Yzi daunt think zo jus^ ax a hee. 
 
 Wull, now ma tale I must kinchtd, 
 Be zaying wat wiz arter dud ; 
 Tu wit-wiches vrim Exter Town 
 Wiz cal'd ta lie ole Zat'n down ; 
 Thay dud zom things an got thare pay 
 An then quite zartin went away, 
 Thit thay'd a lide awl ayvils down ; 
 Bit macy me untw. this day 
 Tis prwv'd twiz munny drade away, 
 An if yw'd wish ta zee tha zite, 
 Jist in the lane bit zlyapwan nite ; 
 If thicky thing yw'lluny du 
 Yu'll think aul I've a zed ez tiu ; 
 Wich hevin zed I zay , &du ! 
 
GLOSSAEY. 
 
 A, of liave 
 
 abw, above 
 
 ad, had 
 
 adu, to do, ceremony, 
 
 adieu 
 agane, again 
 agaun, gone 
 agin, against 
 agwayn, going 
 aight, eight 
 ails, eels 
 ayzy, easy 
 ayt, eat 
 
 akmgzide, beside 
 annff, enough 
 arely, early 
 arter, after 
 atween, between 
 aun, on 
 aut, awt, of, it 
 avaur, before 
 aw'min, of them 
 aw's of us 
 ax'd, asked 
 azide, beside 
 
 Bayst, beast 
 ballin, calling 
 halu, row 
 ban, band 
 
 bang, to beat a sound 
 a noise 
 
 bangin, great 
 bant, beant, am not 
 bekase, because 
 bim bye, bye and bye 
 bin, been 
 bit, but 
 
 blaijed, obliged 
 blid, blood 
 bort, bought 
 bout, about 
 bral, brawl 
 brauk, broken 
 brekses, breakfast 
 bul, bell 
 
 Cabical, capital 
 carr, carry 
 cheel, child 
 clipper, a knock 
 cockleert, daybreak 
 com'd, came 
 cort, caught 
 crayturs, creatures 
 cud, could 
 citd'n, could'nt 
 cut, acute 
 cuz, because 
 
 Drat, et, ods rot it 
 daps, image 
 darter, daughter 
 didd'n, didn't 
 
 dimmet, dusk 
 diss'n, don't you 
 doant, don't 
 dwd, done, did 
 dra, to draw 
 drap, to drop 
 draut, throat 
 dunnaw, don't know 
 dyver'd, faded 
 
 Iss, yes 
 
 eet, yet 
 
 aykl, equal 
 
 er, or 
 
 ez, ess, his us we 
 
 Foce, force 
 fulty, filthy 
 fust, first 
 
 gawkim, a stupid 
 
 fellow 
 gied, gave 
 gie, give 
 gilhal, Guildhall 
 girt, great 
 gdrtly, greatly 
 gwayn, going 
 
 Ha', have 
 ha, he 
 
GLOSSARF. 
 
 51 
 
 haf, half 
 haid head 
 hal, to draw 
 handid, handed 
 hannel, handle 
 hat, to knock 
 haup, hope 
 naul, hole 
 ight, eight 
 hikes, go 
 
 hinklin, inclination 
 hist, hast 
 hoce, hoarse 
 hollar, to cry out 
 horn, home 
 hulkin, lubberly 
 humman, duniman. 
 
 woman 
 hur, her 
 hye, eye 
 
 Iny, any 
 irt, right 
 ith, hath 
 iv'ry, every 
 
 Jist, just 
 
 Kaynin, looking 
 karrin, carrying 
 kend, kind 
 kin diddled, enticed 
 kiss'n, can'st not 
 kort, caught 
 cus, course 
 ctit, acute 
 
 .Laur, law, lor, Lord 
 
 ma, my 
 macy, mercy 
 meade, meadow 
 
 man'd, man would 
 manijed, managed 
 mare, mayor 
 mer, me 
 mezul, myself 
 miny, many 
 mort'l, very 
 much, smooth 
 mucks, mud 
 murch, much 
 
 Nack, knock 
 n&t, not 
 nauble, noble 
 nauze, nose 
 naw, knowledge 
 naws, knows, nose 
 nort, nothing 
 
 Ort, anything 
 
 Pakin, strolling 
 pasnips, parsnips 
 penner'd, penny- 
 worth 
 pitches, mouths 
 
 pheasants, peasants 
 pin, upon 
 piJlamy, dust 
 platter, plate 
 purty, pretty 
 puss, purse 
 
 Eayls, revels 
 raymid, stretched 
 rauze, rise 
 
 Saff, safe 
 sar'd, served 
 sakace, scarce 
 shet, shut, shot 
 shwd, should 
 
 stap, stop 
 steev'd stiff 
 stuev, dust 
 stud, stood 
 
 Ta, to 
 tap, top 
 thit, that 
 thort, thought 
 thur, thee 
 tidd'n, tis not 
 tide, tied 
 tu, to, two 
 tul, tell 
 tummil'd tumbled 
 
 UU,will 
 ulse, else 
 uny, only 
 ur, or 
 urch, rich 
 -urn, to run 
 upning', running 
 us'd, we had 
 uv, of 
 
 Val'd,fell 
 valin, falling 
 vantysheeny, showy 
 varder, further 
 vath, faith 
 vaur, before 
 vaut, fault 
 veefty, fifty 
 •vin'd fined 
 vippence, fivepence 
 voks, folks 
 voller'd, followed 
 vright, right 
 vrites, writes 
 yul, fool 
 
 vuller'd, fellow had 
 vuu, fun 
 
52 
 
 GLOSSARY. 
 
 vung, vang find, take| 
 
 gather 
 vur, for 
 vurgit, forgot 
 vury, very 
 vussled, hurried 
 
 Wack, knock 
 wacking, great . 
 wan, one 
 wance, once 
 wap, thrash 
 wot, what 
 way, with 
 way out, without 
 wid, would 
 wen, when 
 
 weth/ worth 
 whacker, great 
 wiz, was 
 wiss, would' st 
 wit, white 
 word'l, world 
 wul, well 
 wur, were 
 wuss, worse 
 Yelier, yellow 
 yer, yur, your, here, 
 
 hear 
 yer'd, heard 
 y?£ghil, usual 
 ywm, you are 
 
 Za, so 
 
 zart, soft 
 
 zartin, certain 
 
 zaw, saw 
 
 zed, said 
 
 zee, see 
 
 zeed, seen 
 
 zes, says 
 
 zich, such 
 
 zide, side 
 
 zim'd, seemed 
 
 zims, think 
 
 zlipper, slippery 
 
 zom, some 
 
 zot, sat 
 
 zummat, something 
 
 zun, soon 
 
 zwetting, sweating 
 
UCKSY LAf^ 
 
 G®ST STOTLT. 
 

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