DinYC WERNER rLn I J EDITION A LOVE SUIT ^ S\T Romantic Comedy I? ^ 20 minutes Two-Character Plays (Tbat is EacK Plajr Has T^vo CHaracters) Specially Recommended and PublisKed by EDGAR S. WERNER ^ COMPANY, 43 East 19th St., New YorK Awakening of Galatea. 25c. Illus- trated Romantic Statue Scene from play "Pygmalion and Galatea," by W. S. Gil- bert, im, if. 30 min. Arranged and poses by Helen M. Schuster. Photographs from life. Greek costumes. The gods grant ar- tist's prayer to have his woman statue come to life. Her awakening to life and to love, and the predicament the artist (who is married) finds himself in, make a dainty and interesting play, suitable for children or adults. Backward Child. 15c. h. L. C. Pem berton. Farce Comedy in i act. 20 min. 2f. Elderly governess is engaged for "a backward child," who turns out saucy, pre- cocious and badly spoiled, and who makes first lesson such a torment to governess that she decides to resign to great delight of child. Box of Powders. 15 c. Farcical Ro manlic Courting Scene in i act. i hour, im, if. Young widow, having set up in window dummy of old man to make good her foolish story to an admirer that _ she had an old and infirm husband, is fright- ened by admirer's (who has learned of her deception by use of telescope) threat to force an entrance to her apartment into showing willingness to marry a colonel, who has called, and who, because of plas- ters on his feet, has been in agony and has been going through ridiculous antics and subterfuges to explain his conduct. Breaking the Ice. 15c. c. Thomas. Romantic Comedy in i act. 50 min. im, if. Young couple, whose parents have planned their marriage, meet by chance in inn (the girl running from home to avoid meeting man whom she has never seen, the man going to her house to keep the parents' engagement) and like each other so well that, on finding the other's identity, become engaged on the spot and go to girl's home. Confederates, The. 15c. Comedy Court- ing Scene in i act. 15 min. im, if. To bring dilatory lover to marriage proposal, a girl, under pretext of warding off old ob- jectionable lover planning to propose, gets lover to pretend an engagement just for one evening at ball, result being a real, permanent engagement. Crystal Gazer. 15c. L.Montague. Far- cical Fortune-teller Scene in i act. 30 min. 2f. Mistaking girl seeking lover's address for another girl looking for lost poodle, a fortune-teller gets things ridicu- lously mixed, getting out of scrape by in- formation in letter from lover, who like- wise was looking for girl's address, written by him on his cuff, which he "inadvertently sent to the wash." Fast Friends. 15c. R. Henry. Comedy Play. 30 min. 2f. Two women, intimate friends, who had never met the other's hus- band, in telling of their having met, at a concert and lecture, men who spoke of their unappreciative wives, learn that their own husbands had schemed to cure their wives of visiting so much. Happy Ending. 15c. B. Moore. Ro- mantic Pathos Play in i act. 35 min. 2f. Woman, who as young wife had wrongly deserted husband and baby, when middle- aged is so lonely that she advertises for companion. Her own daughter, whom she does not know, gets the position and suc- ceeds in reconciling her parents, to their mutual happiness. He, She and It. 15c. Wm. Muskerry. Comedy Matrimonial Scene in i act. 30 min. im, if. Young wife, having worked herself into hysterics because of husband's lateness on evening of her birthday, scolds unceasingly, not giving him chance to ex- plain; but when he produces presents for herself and baby, is ashamed and happy to become reconciled. Husband in Clover. 15c. H. C. Meri- vale. Farcical Matrimonial Scene in i act. I hour. im, if. Young husband, ennuied with placid life with loving and devoted wife, expresses his discontent by writing in book praises of other girls he thinks he might have married. His wife, reading these entries unbeknown to him, cures his nonsense by simulating the various charac- teristics he thinks so commendable in others Ijut lacking in his own wife. Little Flirts. 35c. Clara Macmonagle- Britten. Illustrated Flirtation Dance and Pantomime. For i boy and i girl, or t girls, one dressed as boy. Music and full directions given. 9 photographs from liic List of Two-Character PUyt Continued on Third Cove? Fatfe of Thle Booll A LOVE SUIT A Romantic Comedy for 1 m., If, 20 Minutes. By W. GORDON SMYTHIES Text and Stage- Business Edited and Revised by PAULINE PHELPS and MARION SHORT ^. <^-^mLt:i mm Price, 15 Cents EDGAR S. WERNER & COMPANY NEW YORK Copyright, 1913, by Edgar S. Werner iki^*^ ^ < ^u>»^ TMP9o-0071aO ©C;.D 33250 fU) f A LOVE SUIT W. Gordon Smythies. Text and Stage-Business Edited and Revised By Pauline Phelps and Marion Short. Copyright, 1913, by Edgar S. Werner. Characters: Amy Leicester (awfully nice). Robert Darton (awfully shy). Time: Present day. Scene : Morning--room at Mr. Leicester's house. Doors R. and L. Table with cloth on it R. Chairs at either side and back of table. Chair L. Screen up L. Overcoat thrown on chair by door R. Discovered : Robert seated R., Amy by table L. hemming hand- kerchief. Amy. I've been looking at the clock, and I find it's just ;: quarter of an hour since you spoke to me. Have I said anythinc^. to offend you? Or is it that you find me dull company? Robert [pokes carpet zvith cane he cat'ries]. Dull company ?^ You dull company ! Such an unjust insinuation as that leaves pm- more speechless than ever. Amy. Ha, ha, ha ! Robert. I say, don't laugh at me. A fellow hates to be laughed at, don't you know. Amy. O, if you object to my laughing Robert [confusedly]. But I don't object. I should be awfully miserable if you didn't laugh at me. I shouldn't mind anything in this world if I could only feel quite sure that you — that you Amy. Well? 3 4 A LOVE SUIT Robert. But I don't, and that's just the rub, as some fellow says in some play somewhere. You know, I can't ever quite make out whether you're in earnest or in fun, don't you know. Now, yesterday, for instance Amy. What about yesterday? The great event of yesterday was when you came along with me to carry some beef-tea to poor Widow Crank, Robert. That's just what I was thinking about. I don't know whether you were in earnest or in fun when you said it, after I asked you if I might accompany you. Amy. When I said ivhatf Robert. W^hy, you replied quite pointedly that you always should be delighted to have me go along, as you always liked to take a walk zidth an object. Amy. And so I do. Robert. Of course, you mightn't have meant anything; but no fellow likes to be called an "object." [After hopeful pause.] Eh? Amy. I didn't say anything. [Turns azvay face and laughs.] Robert. I believe you're laughing at me again. Amy [turning toivard him abruptly]. Well, what makes you take it with such lamblike patience ? Why are you so tantalizingly good-natured? It doesn't do a bit of good to tease you. You can't seem to realize that the more I snub you the more I [Robert rises and steps forward eagerly] — dear me, the thread's come out of this needle. Robert. The more you — what were you going to say? Amy [teasingly']. Dear me, I really can't seem to remember. Robert [resuming seat]. There you go teasing me again. I'm so confoundedly shy, and you are so awfully clever at repartee and all that, that I never know what to do or quite how to take you. Amy. Did you say just then that you didn't know how to take me? Robert. I — I — ^but I meant — I say, I hope I've not made you angry. A LOVE SUIT 5 Amy [ivitJi a sigJi]. You don't know how to take me, I see that. Robert. But, maybe, if I keep on floundering — for I am floundering my very best, 'pon honor, I am Amy. Oh, dear! [Puts dozvn handkerchief on table and crosses to C] You're a great, big, awkward bundle of contradic- tions. You dance Hke an angel, sing like a seraph, you can ride anything, shoot anything, and yet you can't say "boo" to a goose. Robert [rising slozuly and stiffly and facing her]. Boo! Amy [speaking with great indignation]. How dare you? [Exits L.] Robert. Well, what made her rush off like that ? Just when I do try to show a little courage — when I do say "boo" to a — [horror-stricken at the recollection]. Oh, bah Jove! I didn't mean that. [Starts fozvard door L.] Amy — [hesitates]. No, if I apologize I'm afraid she'll laugh at me. She offered to mend my coat. I can think up something to say complimentary enough to make her forget the goose if I walk a mile or two, and I'll make the coat an excuse for coming back — [listens]. She's coming! I can't go. And I can't face her — not right away. [Gets coat and puts it on chair beside table. Steps behind screen.] Amy [re-entering L.]. So you think I'm a goose, Mr. Darton. Oh, gone ! [Sees coat.'] Ha, ha, ha ! Well, I've scared him out of the house again. He thinks I'm angry, and here I've been stuffing my handkerchief down my throat so he wouldn't hear me laughing in the other room. When he called me a "goose," he unwittingly got even with me for the many times I've teased him. [Takes up coat. Robert peeps from behind screen and sees her.] His coat ! The dear, silly, timid, tormenting old boy ! Robert [aside]. Eh? Amy [siidderily]. Why, here's the rose and piece of verbena I put in his button-hole last Monday, withered and dead, and he's worn them all the same. [Kisses flozver.] Robert [aside]. Oh, by Jove! I'll have that coat put in a glass case. Amy [standing zvith coat still in hand]. Oh, what a silly girl 6 A LOVE SUIT I am ! And yet, after all, why shouldn't I love him and kiss his dear old coat. He'll never know. That's the worst of it ! [Tear- fully.] I wish he would find out; but, I daresay, he never will till we are both quite old and grey, like Gabriel and Evangeline, and then, of course, it will be too late. [Sobs slightly and wipes eyes zvitJi sleeve of coat.] Oh, this will never do ! [Puts coat on chair behind table, resting coat in upright position. AL B. — An ulster is most suitable.] Robert [aside]. I wonder whether I had better cough or sneeze or do something to let her know I am here, and Amy [looking at coat on chair]. Carlyle's quite right, the clothes are the man ! [Addressing coat.] Yes, you're just like him, a limp, stupid, irresponsive old thing! Sit up, do! [Ar- ranges coat zvith one sleeve resting on table.] There, that's better, you look more manly now ! Now, sir, listen to me ! The first time I saw you I liked you, the second time I liked you more, and the third I liked you more than ever. Robert [aside]. Oh, I say, I'll die of joy. Amy. And you, you silly, blind old donkey — yes, you are ! You know you are! You haven't a word to say for yourself! You have never guessed it ! But you love me, I know you do ! and you haven't the pluck to own it! but go on eternally [iniitat- i}ig him] : "Miss Leicester," or "Miss Amy, may I offer you this, may I hand you that;" but never, "Amy, may I offer you my heart and hand !" And you're very clever, though you don't look it, but you haven't brains enough to see through my "awful teasings," as you call them ; I verily believe you think I hate you — hate you, you dear, darling old silly — why, I love [Rob- ert /;/ background steps almost from behind screen in his excite- ment.] Robert [aside]. By Jove, to think of tJiat now! Amy [still addressing coat^. Yes, I love you! Robert [aside]. I don't know whether I'm standing on my head or on my heels ! Amy. But it's no use talking to you — darling. [Embraces coat.] A LOVE SUIT 7 Robert. "Darling!" I must be dreaming. I never want to wake up ; but, of course, I shall. Amy. Well, I must get that button to sew on, and a thimble. [Addresses coat.] But I shall be back directly. I haven't half done scolding you, you dear old silly. [Kisses coat violently and puts it back 0)1 chair.] Robert [joyfully, coining doivn to coat]. She kissed my coat! She kissed my coat just there. [Kisses same place.] Oh, happy coat, kissed with the kiss I've kissed. Amy [heard outside door L.]. Never mind, Jane, this thim- ble will do if it is a bit too large. [Robert ducks dozvn behind chair containing coat.] Amy [enters L., crosses to table, and arranges seiving ma- terials, addressing coat]. Well, you are still there, are you, you overgrown old baby. Have you been thinking over what I said just now, eh? [As she threads needle Robert's head appears above back of chair nodding vigorously, then disappears again.] What do men expect, I wonder? That a girl is to do half the wooing? [Robert's head appears again, nodding still more vig- orously, then disappears.] Ho, hum! Maybe you like some other girl better. [Robert shakes a vigorous negative and ducks dozvn quickly as she turns tozvard coat almost in time to see him.] Oh, if you do love me, why don't you speak up like a man and say, "Amy, I'm an awful duffer, but I do love you, w^ill you be mine?" Robert [suddenly rising]. ''Amy, I'm an awful duffer, but I do love you !" Amy [expressing fright and astonishment, jumps up]. Oh, Robert, how you frightened me ! When did you come in here ? Robert. Will you be mine? Amy [panic-stricken]. But you have not been in this room all the time? Robert. I thought I should be in the way, don't you know, and so I got behind the screen. Amy. Behind the screen ! [Confusedly.] Then you saw and — and heard everything ! [Robert smiles and nods, Amy hid- ing face in hands.] Oh, I shall die of shame ! 8 A LOVE SUIT Robert. Die of shame? No, no! Amy, darling, I'm an awful duffer, as you say, but I love you and have loved you for ever so long. I have often been on the point of telling you so, only I was so dreadfully afraid you'd say no, don't you know, and that would have been an end of all things to me. Amy, my dar- ling, look up. [Amy shyly does so, hut iuinicdiately turns JQCC azvay.] I say. Amy, won't you speak? You haven't answered my question, though I put it just as you told me to. I'll say it again: "Amy, I'm an awful duffer, but I do love you, will you be mine?*' — perhaps you'd rather wait a few days before Amy [suddenly^. Oh, no, I wouldn't! — can't you guess my answer ? Robert [eagerly]. Yes, darling? Amy [nods before speaking]. That's it. [Eludes his em- brace and starts for door L.] Come on, we must tell dear Mama. Robert. Amy, wait a minute. [He picks up coat from chair. Amy hesitates at door, half smiling.] I say. Amy, you seemed awfully fond of this old coat just now while I was there [pointing tozvards screeii] — fonder than you have seemed of me — as yet! Amy. Oh, but your coat is you. Robert. I wished it was, a while ago. You — you kissed my old coat, don't you know ! Amy. Ah ! that was when I thought I was quite alone. You're not jealous of your old coat, are you, Robert? You ought to be grateful to it — but for your coat I should never have smiled on your suit. Robert. But I say. Amy, you won't understand a fellow, don't you know ; I said you kissed my coat, so Amy. Well, the coat didn't object, I hope. Robert. But, I say. Amy, you don't understand. We're en- gaged now and you kissed my coat and so Amy [laughing]. Well, if you can catch me. [Exits.] Robert. I say, Amy — [drops coat and makes hasty exit after her]. [curtain.] List of TwowCharaeter Plays Continaed from Second Cover Patfo of This BooK Morning Call. 15c. C. Dance. Romantic Comedy in i act. i hour, im, if. Party of men at English country house bet that a young widow can be made to break her resolution not to remarry, and appoint a fascinating one of their number to make the trial. Informed of the bet through woman friend, widow is prepared, and so manages that the would-be joker proposes in earnestness and is accepted. Needles and Pins. 50c. Helen M. Schus ter. Illustrated Pantomimed Song or Dia- logue for ini, if. Can be given by 2i. This is the well-known song bringing in "Needles and pins, when a man marries his trouble begins." Words by F. E. Weatherly; music by F. N. Lohr. In sheet music form. 6 photographs. Full music and directions. ♦'Nettle, The." 15c. E. Warren. Ro- mantic Comedy in i act. i hour, im, if. Man, considering himself traduced by news- paper, calls at office to whip editor, but meets and falls in love witt editor's pretty sister, who is nice to him because she mis- takes him for capitalist whose aid her brother expects. Man, learning that article does not refer to him, presents whip to girl for her brother's use on belligerent callers, proposes and is accepted. Olga; or, The Franco=Russian Spy. 25c. W\ F. Trayes. Drama, im, if. 40 min. Russian interior scene. Police in- spector visits woman spy and asks for pa- pers she holds incriminating husband of woman Inspector loves and whom he would spare. The woman spy, bent on vengeance on husband, once her own lover, refuses to give up papers, but yields on learning that her own husband, a French spy, has been caught and she herself is implicated by papers found on him, and on Inspector's threat to turn her over to Russian mob. Pair of Lunatics. 15c. w. R. Walkes. Romantic Comedy Mad-house Scene in i act. 25 min. im, if. Young man and woman, invi jd guests , at ball _ at insane asylum, mistake each other for insane, and do all sorts of stunts to get out of their supposed predicament. Poe's Wife, Death of. Scene from. 35c. J. Mount Bleyer. From unpublished play. im, if. 10 min. Watching by the bedside of his dying wife Poe, under the stimulation of opium, composes his famous poem, "The Raven." WR19. Those Landladies. 15c. ina L. CassiHs. Comedy Boarding-house Scene in i act. 15 min. 2f. English landlady (typical) enters young ladv lodger's room to dust and in- cidentally to chat. Young lady is absorbed with letter from sweetheart, making re- marks which landlady mistakes as addressed to her, resulting in comical confusion. When young lady notes landlady's presence she indignantly leaves room, followed by uncomplimentary comments from landlady. Show of Hands. 15c. < W. R. Walkes. Romantic Comedy in i act. 40 min. im, if. Lovers are opposed by girl's fad-in- clined father, who thinks he sees in suitor's hand evil propensities. Girl then imagines her own palm reveals same propensities; and, when she goes to her father with her discovery, he is horrified to find same marks in his hand. They are about to sur- render to the authorities as preventative measure, when father discovers he has been looking at wrong diagram in his book, and that all their hands really show noble qualities. Sisterly Confidences. 35c. R- Brough- ton. Comedy Dialogue. 25 min. 2f. Se- date girl declines to communicate her flirt- ing sister's refusal, and recalls how many lovers she has turned down for sister. Their Graduating Essays. 15c. Elise West. Comedy Play, i act. 20 min. 2f. Two school girls confer in writing gradua- ting essays, cribbing from encyclopedias, and interlarding driest historical matter, most gushing sentimental matter, with friv- olous remarks about their chums, their dresses, etc. Full of school-girl nonsense. May end with unseen chorus. Trial Performance. 25c. Pauline Phelps. Comedy Play, i act. 2f. 15 min. Scene between theatrical agent and stage-struck country girl determined to get a hearing, and who inflicts samples of acting on dis- comforted agent. Opportunity for varied performance. Two Jolly Girl Bachelors. 15c. E. Martin-Seymour. Romantic Farce in i act. 40 min. 2f. Two girls, 'nfluenced by woman crank, believe that their lives will become "settled and made perfect" by re- nouncing men and marriage, and that then they can devote themselves to "healing the sick through the concords of music," finally weaken, pick up letters (which have been lying untouched under the door) from their lovers, who. they declare, "will very soon make two happy wives out of Two Jolly Girl Bachelors." Villain and Victim. 15c. W. R. Walkes. Farcical Matrimonial Scene in i act. 40 min. im, if. Young married couple in- terrupt rehearsal of their parts in forth- coming amateur theatricals by making love and apologizing for treating each other as called for by the play, until they get jealous in talking of other players in the cast, be- coming reconciled only after thev tear up their books and decide not to 'sacrifice their "happiness merely to enrich contem- porary drama." Wager. 15 c. F. W. Kitchel. Comedy Play. I act. 20 min. im, if. Man, who has bet with his girl that he can pass for a tragedian without her recognizing him, ad- vertises as teacher of acting; she applies as pupil and they go through Romeo and Juliet scene, he winning bet, and her, too. • • • • Any Play Sent Poslcpaia on Receipt of Price Address tHe PtiblisHers: SDGAR. S. VTERNER. (£b COMPANY, 43 E. 19tH Street* New YorK New Plays and BLIND MAN. $.25. Henry Evarts Gordon. Biblical play. 6m. 2f. Three acts. 45 mln. Blind beg-gar, cured by Jesus, returning joyously home accompanied by maiden who has befriended him, finds father and moth- er in despair over threatened dispossession for non-payment of rent. Hig mother at first slights maiden, who prores to be daughter of landlord, who not only accepts young man as son-in-law but causes him to be restored to synagogue, from which rabbis, hostile to Jesus, had cast him out. Tab- leau finale shows family kneeling in light reflected by approach of Jesus (who does not actually appear on stage). COUNTY FAIR AT PUNKINVILLE. $.25. Farce in 2 scenes. Any number of char- acters. 1 hour, or longer, according to spe- cialties. Old farmer tells wife and chil- dren, instead of going to football game, he's going to take them to fair. After much talk and many preparations, they ar- rive, having exciting and funny experi- ences with tight-rope walker, snake- charmer, moving-pictures, singers, shoot- the-chutes, horse-race. Farmer, asked for his purse, gives it to man, but purse Is restored. Chance for varied costumes and all sorts of business and specialties that are at county fairs. JENKINSES GO TO THE CIRCUS. $.26. Sarah Pratt Carr. One -act rural Romp. 7m. 6f. 45 min. Hard-working Western farmer paying off mortgage, after his and family's long struggle, uses odd dollars, thrown off by mortgagee who feels in- debted to farmer's wife for help in sick- ness, to buy clothes and toys and to take family to circus. Entire action of play is in preparations made to start for circus. Wife at first suspects husband is out of his head; but, learning good news of get- ting out of debt, she energetically orders around and helps her numerous children who cut up all sorts of antics. KIDNAPPING. $.25. Helen Clifford Wilbur. Children's Comedy. 6f. 45 min. Girls, to get even with boys who have offended them, play brigands and plot to steal little girl whom boys have in play tied fast as captive. Girls' written demand on boys for ransom money falls into hands of servant maid, who takes affair seriously and calls for aid on her friendly policeman. Girls get out of scrape by helping maid routing her rival with policeman, maid explaining "It was an April fool joke, only date got shlipped a bit." Baby talk, business with doll, Irish-dialect by maid. MTTLE REBEL. $.25. Harold Strong Lath- am. "Sane" Fourth-of-July Play. 28m. If. (or 14m., performers doubling their parts). -S^rlt 016 103 766 7 for schools. iviuicti oi i>ia,y pendence Day should be celebrated in a way more rational than by horrible noises and dangerous shootings and fireworks. The 13 original States are represented, each having something to say about itself. On© of the States refuses at first to give up old-fashioned way but finally yields. LOVE STORY OF UNEEDA AD. $.25. Mat- tie Lee Hausgen. Quaint conceit romantic comedy in two scenes. 11m. 6f. and nupes. 1 hour. Unique entertainment bringing in widely-advertised foods and household articles as Uneeda Biscuit, Sapolio, Baker's Cocoa, Hiawatha Pure Spring Water, Dutch Cleanser, Gold-Dust Twins, Heinz Pickles, Ham Devil, McLaren Cheese, Peter's Milk Chocolate, Ralston Miller, Dutch Paint, Winchester Rifle, Quaker Oats, Swift's Cook, etc. Ends in marriage of Pure Food and Uneeda, playing of Lohengrin Bridal Chorus and tableau of flags of different na- tions, and advertising flags; dancing of Highland Fling (to bagpipe music), Indian dance, Virginia Reel, Cake-Walk, Quaker dance. MODEL GROWL. $.25. Agnes Electra Piatt. Store Window Wax-Figure comedy. Im. 8f. 30 min. Scene opens with window- trimmer arranging figures and placing pla. cards; two shopgirls spat over their re- spective admirers, then six wax-figures guy one another, sing woman rights song, grab window-trimmer when he tries to quiet them and forces him to carry banner "I'm for Woman's Rights" at end of procession. PEDLER OR SPY. $.25. Edward Vassar Am- bler. Revolutionary War Military Court- Trial and Romance. 19m. (Im. is Wash- ington) 3f. 1 hour. Colonial and military costumes. British Royal Hussar captain, disguised as pedler, entering American lines to visit sweetheart, is, through jealous and unsuccessful rival, arrested and tried as spy, but is acquitted. Comedy parts as well as serious trial proceedings. PARSON'S GREETINGS. $.25. Gail Kent. Two-act romantic comedy. Im. lOf. 1 hr. Parson, whose fiancee breaks their engage- ment because meddlesome woman church member tells her she's not qualified for pas- tor's wife, directs maid servant to mail his New Year's greetings to lady members of congregation; maid mistakingly mails par- son's returned love-lettrs, causing ludi- crous results, revealed at meeting of sew- ing society; parson returning to clear up matters and to be reunited with fiancee. Maid speaks in Irish dialect. ADDRESS THE PUBLISHERS: BDGAR. S. V^E:RN£R CSl COMPANY NK^ YORK