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 <S>:r^UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. <~\pi 
 
BURTON'S 
 
 AMATEUR ACTOR, 
 
 A COMPLETE GUIDE 
 
 TO 
 
 PEIYATE THEATRICALS. 
 
 GIVING PLAIN DIRECTIONS FOR ARRANGING, DECORATING AND 
 
 LIGHTING THE STAGE AND ITS APPURTENANCES; WITH RULES 
 
 AND SUGGESTIONS FOR MOUNTING, REHEARSING, 
 
 AND PERFORMING ALL KINDS OF PLAYS, 
 
 PARLOR PANTOMIMES, AND SHADOW 
 
 PANTOMIMES. 
 
 ILLUSTRATED WITH NUMEROUS ENGRAVINGS, 
 
 AND INCLUDING 
 
 A SELECTION OF ORIGINAL PLATS, WITH PROLOGUES, EPILOGUES, k 
 
 By C. E. BURTON. 
 
 NEW YORK: 
 DICK & FITZGERALD, PUBLISHERS, 
 
 No. 18 Ann Stbeet„ 
 
Trt3i rf 
 
 Entered according to Act of CongTess, in the year 2876, by 
 
 DICK & FITZGERALD, 
 
 in the Office of the Librarian of Congress, at "Washington, D. C 
 
PBEFACE. 
 
 It was the original intention of the Publishers to reproduce an 
 English hand-book, written by " An Old Stager/' for the instruc- 
 tion and guidance of amateurs. On careful examination, how- 
 ever, it was found to contain considerable matter which an 
 American tyro might fail to appreciate ; and it appeared, also, 
 notably deficient in many important and necessary points of 
 detail. 
 
 It was preferred, therefore, to place the whole matter in able 
 and experienced hands for thorough revision and adaptation, and 
 the result is embodied in this little volume, which will, it is 
 hoped, be found a complete and serviceable aid to the aspiring 
 amateur actor. 
 
 The difficulties usually experienced in the selection of plays for 
 performance have been greatly lessened by the introduction, at 
 the close of the volume, of a list of Farces, Comedies, etc., 
 specially adapted for Amateur Parlor Performance, with a short 
 description of the characters in each. 
 
00 NTENTS. 
 
 PAGE. 
 
 HOW TO FORM AN AMATEUR COMPANY 7 
 
 THE MANAGER 7 
 
 THEATRICAL MUSIC 9 
 
 GENERAL ARRANGEMENTS 9 
 
 RULES EOR AN AMATEUR COMPANY 10 
 
 HOW TO ARRANGE A STAGE 12 
 
 eoldlng-door proscenium 14 
 
 Draped Proscenium 15 
 
 Framed Proscenium 17 
 
 The Stage 19 
 
 "Wings on Side Scenes. 21 
 
 Scenes 21 
 
 Green Curtain 22 
 
 Drop Curtain 22 
 
 Lighting the Stage 24 
 
 Colored Mediums for Eoot-Lights 25 
 
 Calcium-light Effects 26 
 
 Colored Eires 27 
 
 HOW TO PAINT THE SCENES 28 
 
 HOW TO PRODUCE STAGE EFEECTS 39 
 
 Moonlight and Lightning 39 
 
 Thunder, Rain, Wind, etc 40 
 
 Eires, Fountains, etc 41 
 
 Sunrise, Sunset, Ghosts, etc 42 
 
 Gauze Drop Curtains 43 
 
 PROPERTIES 43 
 
 Furniture 43 
 
 Banners, Shields, etc 44 
 
 Armor, Flowers, Implements, etc 45 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 HOW TO MAKE UP DRESSES 45 
 
 Useful Hints on Coloe and Contrast 46 
 
 Wigs, Beards, etc 48 
 
 ON "MAKING UP" 49 
 
 Imitation of Various Faces 50 
 
 Nigger "Make Up" 51 .. 58 
 
 Moors and Red Indians 52 .. 58 
 
 Characteristic Dresses 52 to 59 
 
 GENERAL DIRECTIONS ON ACTING 59 
 
 The Passions Portrayed 63 
 
 Attitude, and Stage Business 64 
 
 Entrances and Exits 65 
 
 PREPARING FOR THE PERFORMANCE 68 
 
 Plots and Effects 71 
 
 Prologues . 74 
 
 Epilogues 78 
 
 SELECTION OF PLAYS 80 
 
 AFamilyFix 80 
 
 ThePhilopena 99 
 
 PARLOR PANTOMIME 119 
 
 General Directions 119 
 
 Love Under Obstacles - .121 
 
 SHADOW PANTOMIME 128 
 
 How to Arrange the Curtain — » 129 
 
 How to Manage the Light 130 
 
 Position of the Body, etc 132 
 
 Stage Action . . . : 133 
 
 How to Make Scenery 1 34 
 
 Costumes and Properthss 135 
 
 The Feejee Islanders at Home 136 
 
 SELECTED PARLOR PLAYS 142 
 
BURTON'S AMATEUR ACTOR. 
 
 HOW TO FORM AN AMATEUR COMPANY. 
 
 Some active spirit usually sets the ball moving in the 
 matter of getting up Private Theatricals. Now it is well 
 for such a one to consider beforehand which of his ac- 
 quaintances, male and female, are gifted with the kind of 
 intelligence, vivacity or personal appearance that will 
 best meet the requirements of his scheme, before he asks 
 any one to join his company, for on a judicious primary 
 selection success often depends. As the original members 
 of an Amateur Company usually consider they hold pre- 
 ferential rights over those that join afterwards, the import- 
 ance of selecting those who seem to possess the greatest 
 amount of dramatic talent becomes palpably evident ; so 
 the founder of a company should look far a-field before he 
 commits himself by any invitation to enrollment. The se- 
 lection of acquaintances having been carefully and thought- 
 fully made, and the assent of each person obtained, it be- 
 comes necessary to call all the members together, for the 
 purpose of properly organizing the company. This meet- 
 ing is usually held at the house of the person who is dis- 
 posed to place rooms at disposal for giving the entertain- 
 ment. 
 
 THE MANAGER. 
 
 The first step is to select an Acting Manager, whose 
 duties are to advise on the judicious selection of plays, 
 train the members to the proper execution of their several 
 parts, and act as chairman at their necessary meetings, 
 
8 THE MANAGED 
 
 rehearsals ; etc. It is palpable that the Acting Manager 
 should be one possessiDg some literary attainments and ex- 
 perience with the modern stage; not necessarily a profes- 
 sional actor— far from it — but one familiar with the proper 
 representation of plays and stage business. This implies 
 that he should be a senior in the Company, possibly one 
 more disposed to guide his juniors than take " a part"; at 
 any rate, one whose authority, on all occasions, would be 
 undisputed. Next in election should be a Stage Manager, 
 to whom should be delegated the arrangement of the 
 stage, the production of the scenes, properties and effects. 
 This office should be filled by one possessing mechanical 
 and artistic tastes and acquirements. He should direct in 
 the absence of the Acting Manager. The Acting and 
 Stage Managers should work in unison in carrying out the 
 arrangement of the stage at dress rehearsals and on nights 
 of performance. The office of Prompter is better filled, in 
 an Amateur Company, by the Acting Manager, who, by 
 drilling his actors, not only becomes familiar with each 
 play, but with individual shortcomings, so that he is ever 
 on the alert to prompt those who are most likely to require 
 his aid. It need hardly be said that his prompts should be 
 given sotto voce. The distribution of parts among the 
 Company must be left wholly, or at least mainly, to the 
 judgment of the Acting Manager, who should assign the va- 
 rious parts to the different actors solely with reference to 
 their several abilities and individual fitness, avoiding even 
 the suspicion of favoritism. There are almost always, when 
 the parts are distributed, some grounds for dissatisfaction 
 and jealousy, real or imaginary, which only the strictest im- 
 f partiality on the part of the Acting Manager can prevent 
 from being the commencement of discord. In small Amateur 
 Companies, the duties of both Acting and Stage Manager 
 are usually fulfilled by one person, who is manager of the 
 whole, in order to insure uniformity and smoothness in 
 mounting the plays ; but where the actors are more numer- 
 
GESTEEAL AEEAXGEMENTS. 9 
 
 ous, and the scenery and properties are more pretentious, 
 the Acting Manager will have his hands full enough by 
 attending to the rehearsals, etc., leaving the details of tho 
 stage to be cared for by the Stage Manager. 
 
 THEATEICAL MUSIC. 
 
 Music is a very necessary accessory to theatrical repre- 
 sentations ; not only for filhng up time between change of 
 scenes, and as accompaniment to songs, choruses, etc., but 
 in adding to the effect of stage business j as, when sleep 
 gradually steals over a person— a murderer creeps towards 
 his victim— the moment of the deadly blow— the slow de- 
 velopment of a phantom — the raging of a storm, etc. A 
 piano, drum, cornet and violin will form a respectable or- 
 chestra for Private Theatricals. Amateur performers on 
 these instruments can generally be found who are willing 
 to join the Company, otherwise professional musicians 
 should be engaged. In either case, the musicians must 
 act according to the instructions of the Acting Manager, 
 and be especially attentive to the requirements of all stage 
 business. Other instruments may be added, where attain- 
 able, as long as the orchestra does not become too big for 1 
 the room the performances are given in. The orchestra 
 should be placed in any convenient position that will not 
 intercept the full view of the stage from the auditorium. 
 A code of signals should be established between the 
 Prompter and the Leader of the Band. 
 
 GENERAL ARRANGEMENTS. 
 
 The funds necessary for covering the expense of fitting 
 up the stage, scenery, properties, effects, fighting, etc., are 
 matters to be adjusted according to the special circum- 
 stances attending the formation of each Company. 
 
 Whether it be determined that the dresses shall be home- 
 made, or supplied by a costumer, each member should 
 provide the dress assigned to his or her part, accurately 
 
10 RULES FOR AN AMATEUR COMPANY. 
 
 made according to the design provided by the Stage 
 Manager. 
 
 The Members of every Amateur Company formed must 
 distinctly understand — whether their parts be prominent or 
 subordinate — that, in the interests of unity of design and 
 perfect organization, so necessary for the proper working 
 of any performance, they must be punctual to all appoint- 
 ments made for rehearsals, etc., master their parts per- 
 fectly, and obey willingly every direction of the Acting 
 Manager, who must be regarded as undisputed com- 
 mander-in-chief of all the forces. 
 
 KULES FOR AN AMATEUR COMPANY. 
 
 The annexed rules are of course subject to modification, but 
 
 will form a sound basis whereon to work efficiently. 
 [Title.] 
 THE AMATEUR THESPIAN'S. 
 
 I. — That this Club be called the Amateur Thespians. 
 
 II. — That the Club be composed of Acting Members and Hon- 
 orary Officers (to be known as "the Company"), and 
 Patrons. 
 
 III. — That the business of the Club be conducted by an Acting 
 Manager, a Stage Manager, a Secretary and Treasurer. 
 
 IY. — That every Acting Member shall pay an entrance fee of 
 
 , and a monthly subscription of '-, to be paid in 
 
 advance, and every Patron (Subscribing Yisitors to the 
 Auditorium) an annual subscription of not less than . 
 
 Y.— (a.) That ladies or gentlemen desirous of joining "the 
 Company" be introduced by members at any Ordinary 
 Meeting, and elected by ballot at the next Ordinary Meet- 
 ing. Three black balls to exclude. 
 
 (b.) That ladies or gentlemen be enrolled as Patrons on 
 their being approved by two-thirds of the Company 
 present at any Ordinary Meeting. 
 
 YI. — That if any member be desirous of resigning, such person 
 must give one month's written notice to the Secretary at 
 the time of paying the monthly subscription. 
 
RULES FOR AN AMATEUR COMPACT. 11 
 
 Til.— That the Officers of this Club be elected annually, at a 
 General Meeting of the Company called for the purpose. 
 
 Till. — That all entrance fees, subscriptions, fines, etc., be paid to 
 
 the Secretary, who shall give a receipt for same, and 
 
 . periodically pay over ail cash so received to the Treasurer. 
 
 IX. — That all scenery, fittings, costumes, properties, books and 
 materials required shall be purchased out of the funds (by 
 vote, including two-thirds of the Company present at any 
 Ordinary Meeting), and then become the property of the 
 Club; and any member damaging such property willfully, 
 or through carelessness, shall make good the amount of 
 damage done. 
 
 X. — That every member shall implicitly obey the directions of 
 the Acting Manager, whose authority must be subscribed 
 to as absolute. 
 
 XI. — That the designs for the costumes, together with the me- 
 chanical, scenic, decorative, and all other artistic arrange- 
 ments, be under the control of the Stage Manager, subject 
 to approval of the Acting Manager. 
 
 XII. — That the pieces be selected by ballot by the members of 
 the Company, subject to the approval and judgment of 
 the Acting Manager. 
 
 XIII. — That the parts be assigned to the actors by the Acting 
 Manager. 
 
 XIT. — That all " calls" for Meetings of the Acting Members be 
 punctually attended ; any member causing delay to the 
 business of a Meeting, without satisfactory cause being 
 assigned, shall be fined . 
 
 XT. — That every member to whom any part has been assigned 
 is expected to attend every rehearsal of which due notice 
 or call has been given ; failure in this respect, or absence 
 on the night of the performance, unless for reasons per- 
 fectly satisfactory to the Acting Manager, may subject the 
 offender to expulsion from the Club. 
 
 XTL — That at the Annual Meeting, held at the end of each sea- 
 son, the Secretary shall submit a Eeport on the proceed- 
 ings, progress and property of the Club, together with the 
 
12 
 
 HOW TO AKKANGE A STAGE. 
 
 Treasurer's balance sheet of its funds, audited by two of 
 
 the Patrons. 
 XVII. — That any infringement of these rules shall subject a 
 
 member to expulsion from this Club, on the majority of its 
 
 Officers so deciding. 
 XVIII. — That every member shall sign these Eules on admission 
 
 to the Club, and such act shall be regarded as one of loyal 
 
 subscription to the provisions made therein, in the cause of 
 
 good organization and necessary discipline. 
 
 HOW TO ARRANGE A STAGE. 
 
 In country houses and city mansions rooms are often to 
 
 D.D 
 
 W 
 
 w 
 
 be met with which both as to size and height are admira- 
 bly adapted for the requirements of Private Theatricals; 
 
HOW TO ARRANGE A STAGE. 13 
 
 but for these, so variable are they as to disposition of parts 
 and adjoining rooms, that it would be impossible to give a 
 common plan, on which absolute directions could be given. 
 On the other hand, nearly all town and suburban houses 
 conform to a common type, which is given in Fig. 1, where- 
 in B indicates the back room, the part usually devoted to 
 the stage, and F the front room, usually devoted to the 
 audience; though this disposition may be reversed with 
 advantage, when the back room gives sufficient accommo- 
 dation for the audience, as the additional side space pro- 
 vides convenience for actors in waiting, but more especially 
 for the properties, for working " effects," etc., and the or- 
 chestra. D D indicates the part occupied by the usual 
 folding doors, which form the opening through which the 
 stage is seen, whichever be the disposition of front and 
 back rooms ; D indicates the usual doors leading from the 
 staircase, S j and d a door that exists when a third room 
 leads out of the back room. Such third room may be used 
 as a dressing-room or store-room for properties, when the 
 back room is devoted to the stage. The dressing-rooms 
 are usually the bed-rooms upstairs, sometimes small rooms 
 down-stairs; in either case they are reached by the stairs, S, 
 through either of the doors, D,. whichever be the disposi- 
 tion of F and B for stage and auditorium. Where this 
 type of house construction exists, the folding doors provide 
 for a " Proscenium," or the partition necessary to separate 
 the stage from the auditorium. In houses where this ar- 
 rangement of rooms does not exist, it becomes necessary 
 to divide the longest room in the house into two equal or 
 unequal parts by a draped or built-up proscenium, in a 
 manner hereafter described. 
 
 The Auditorium should be arranged with low 
 forms or benches for the children in front, cane-bottom set- 
 tees for the young people in the middle, with sofas at the 
 back and stuffed chairs at the sides for the elders, while a 
 portion next to the prompt-side should be set apart for the 
 
14 HOW TO ARRANGE A STAGE. 
 
 orchestra, should there not be accommodation for the 
 musicians behind the curtain. It is well to have one or 
 two lively youths in the front, to see that the visitors are 
 promptly provided with places, that the youngsters keep 
 their places, and do not stand up or interrupt the perform- 
 ance. 
 
 A Folding-door Proscenium is readily formed if 
 that side of the frame- work is next to the audience on which 
 the pair of doors do not fold back, for then it is only neces- 
 sary to drape the opening with crimson or other dark- 
 colored curtains, arranged in graceful folds, as shown in 
 
 Fig. 2. If the side on which the doors fold back is that 
 presented to the auditorium, then a built-up proscenium of 
 still more imposing aspect may be formed, by throwing 
 the doors back to a suitable angle and fitting on framed 
 top and angle-pieces, covered with canvas (painted to 
 match the color of the doors), in the manner shown in 
 
HOW TO ARRANGE A STAGE. 
 
 15 
 
 Fig. 3. Where a room has to he divided into stage and audi- 
 torium, a proscenium must he formed out of drapery, as 
 
 FIG. 3. 
 
 shown in Fig. 4, or he "built up with three frame-work 
 panels, as shown in Fig. 5. 
 
 A Draped Proscenium is the simplest and quick- 
 est to make, consequently the "best for extemporized purpos- 
 es, as, when a play is got up at the spur of the moment, all 
 that is required is a lath, about 2 inches by 1£ thick, 
 and nearly as long as the width of the room, four long win- 
 dow-curtains of merino or other thick but pliable material 
 for the sides, and others for festooning the top. Or the top 
 and side draperies may be formed of chintz entwined with 
 muslin, so as to give a very light and elegant aspect to the 
 proscenium, while a pair of green, red, or other dark- colored 
 curtains are employed for the drop. Whenever there is 
 time to procure the best material for this kind of prosce- 
 nium, it is better to purchase crimson baize for the top 
 
16 
 
 HOW TO AEEANGE A STAGE. 
 
 and side draperies, green baize for the central curtain 
 (see page 22), and amber-colored trimmings to border 
 
 the crimson baize with, the Grecian "meandering 
 square" being the most appropriate pattern. The two side 
 curtains are first tacked to one side of the lath in fluted 
 plaits, then the top-piece is tacked over, and festooned 
 with amber-colored cord. The pair of central curtains are 
 tacked flat to the other side of the lath with their thin 
 edges overlapping, and cords arranged so that they may be 
 drawn up as shown in Fig. 4, or lowered to close in the 
 stage as indicated by the dotted lines. The reefing cord 
 should embrace each curtain, and be sewn to their front 
 edges at the proper spots for producing symmetrical fes- 
 toons, and pass over rings (used as pulleys) fixed to the 
 lath. To ensure the fall of the curtains on the reefing 
 cords being loosened, bullets should be sewn into their 
 front edges just below tho point at which the cords are 
 
HOW TO ARRANGE A STAGE. 
 
 17 
 
 fixed, and again within an inch or two of the ground. The 
 lath thus draped must now be drawn up in position by 
 
 FIG. 5. 
 
 means of stout ropes fastened to its ends, passed through a 
 screw or staple rings, screwed or driven into the walls on 
 each side of the room as near to the ceiling as possible. 
 The back view of this arrangement is shown in Fig. 4. 
 The supporting rod may be arranged so as to be adjustable 
 to the width of any room, by employing two overlapping 
 laths, which after being put together so as to fill out a re- 
 quired width are then screwed together. 
 
 A Framed Proscenium may be built up with 
 three panels, in the following manner : — Strips of pine 11 
 inches wide, 1 inch thick (before rough planing), are cut 
 into lengths suitable for forming the three panels, shown 
 in Fig. 5. The exact size of the two side and top panels 
 is of course dependent on the width and height of the 
 room. If very wide, this proscenium may be supplement- 
 
18 HOW TO AEEANGE A STAGE. 
 
 ed with curtains on each side and drapery above, after the 
 disposition shown in Fig. 2 j but as a rule, a width of from 
 two to three feet will prove sufficient, their length being 
 governed absolutely by the height of the room that has to 
 be fitted up. The pine strips being cut to the required 
 lengths, a panel frame is formed by placing the four 
 lengths together ? as shown in Fig. 6, care being taken that 
 the ends are perfectly squared. They are then primarily 
 connected together by four long stout screws ; which, how- 
 ever, only act as dowel pins, real strength being given by 
 cutting four angle-pieces out of sheet iron and screwing 
 them on to the four strips, in the manner as indicated in 
 Fig. 6. The screws should be greased with tallow before 
 
 PIG. 6. 
 
 insertion, to allow of their being readily withdrawn, should 
 it prove desirable to take these frames to pieces, for the 
 purpose of closer packing at the end of each season. The 
 frames thus formed are then covered with muslin, primed 
 and colored according to the directions given under the 
 head of Scene Painting. In Fig. 5 the side panels are 
 supposed to be 2 feet 6 inches or 3 feet wide, which ad- 
 mits of figures of the Tragic and Comic Muses being in- 
 serted. Where, however, the panels cannot be wider than 
 two feet, it is better to replace the figures with tragic and 
 comic masks, grouped with appropriate accessories and 
 ribands. The top panel is suspended near the ceiling, as 
 presently described ; the side panels are connected to it by 
 iron hooks and eyes, and their lower ends are made fast to 
 two blocks nailed to the floor by the same means. To 
 prevent any light from the stage showing through the two 
 
HOW TO ARRANGE A STAGE 19 
 
 cracks left where these three panels join each other, they 
 must be covered over at the hack with strips of glued 
 muslin, which may afterwards be painted over with white- 
 wash, to make the job effectual and add strength to the 
 structure. The muslin must be evenly stretched upon the 
 frames, as it is fastened down to the sides with tacks, and 
 the edges of the muslin should be folded double to give 
 extra strength to the fabric where the strain comes upon 
 the nails, the tacks of course being knocked through the 
 seam thus formed. 
 
 The Stage for amateur performances in a private 
 house may be fitted up in the following simple and econom- 
 ical manner, designed with the view of obtaining the 
 necessary points of support for scenes, side scenes, or 
 wings, sky borders, curtain, etc., with the least amount of 
 injury to the walls of a handsomely papered parlor; it pre- 
 sents further advantages in leaving the floor free from 
 all encumbrances, and admits of everything being rigged 
 up and removed in less than an hour, when once the several 
 parts have been properly put together. The first thing is 
 to get a curtain pole, P, Fig. 7, nearly as long as the 
 width of the room that is to be devoted to the stage ; this 
 is suspended by cords from two stout hooks, driven into 
 the walls on each side of the room, at a height of 8i feet 
 from the floor, at the point fixed upon for the erection of 
 the proscenium. The next thing to do is to fit, by loops 
 over this pole, two half-inch poles, L L, which must be 
 carried to the wall at the back of the stage, and there 
 fixed to two similar hooks driven in 8 feet apart, and at the 
 same height from the floor as the others. As it is neces- 
 sary both ropes should be fixed " taut," it is better to at- 
 tach two India-rubber springs, S S — such as are used for 
 making doors self-closing— to the ends of each of them, 
 so adjusted as to be 3 or 4 inches short of the wall when 
 slack, which necessitates the springs being pulled out to 
 get their terminal rings over the hooks. On being fixed; 
 
20 
 
 HOW TO ARRANGE A STAGE. 
 
HOW TO ARRANGE A STAGE. 21 
 
 these, of course, act as stretchers, and cause the pole and 
 pair of cords to form a firm frame- work, on which the 
 scenes, etc., can be suspended. The loops allow of the 
 ropes being readily adjusted on the pole at any 
 convenient or variable distance from each other. 
 Each rope is furnished with six adjustable sus- 
 pending hooks, H, of the form shown in Fig. 8 ; 
 two pair for borders, B, two pair for wings or side 
 scenes, W, and two pair for scenes, C, Fig. 7. 
 The borders, B, are mounted on long rollers fitted 
 with loops, by which they are affixed to the sus- 
 pending hooks. Every border is appropriate to 
 the scene— as, "sky," for a sea or landscape; 
 "wood," for a forest; "rock," for a cavern; 
 -F^Tg. " ceiling," for a cottage, hall, etc.; " drapery," 
 for a saloon, etc. 
 
 The Wings or Side Scenes, W, are mounted 
 on short laths and rollers, with cords attached to the ends 
 of the laths, by which they are suspended to the hooks. 
 This arrangement, shown in Fig. 7, admits of great free- 
 dom of adjustment for the side scenes, as they can be set 
 parallel with, or at any desired angle to, the scene ; or be 
 pushed far on, or drawn back off the stage. When rolled 
 up they occupy little space. 
 
 The Scenes are mounted on a pair of light rollers, 
 and are attached to the suspending hooks by cord loops 
 fixed to each roller. To save material and space, the 
 scenes and wings are painted on both sides ; the wings 
 back to back, so that by their simple rotation a change can 
 be effected; but in the scenes they are painted head and 
 tail— that is to say, the sky on one side corresponds to fore- 
 ground on the other side ; so that, to reverse the sides in a 
 cramped space, it is only necessary for two persons to raise 
 each end of the lower roller and fix its loops to the sus- 
 pending hooks, then unloop the roller that had previously 
 been uppermost, and gently lower it to the ground. The 
 
22 
 
 HOW TO ARRANGE A STAGE. 
 
 borders are also painted back to back. For scene-shifting 
 
 it is necessary to have two pair of folding steps, if the 
 
 scenes are higher than can be reached 
 
 when one stands upon a chair. When 
 
 the room admits of lofty scenes, it is a 
 
 convenient plan to raise and lower the 
 
 scenes by means of endless ropes, 
 
 working through rings or pulleys, P P, 
 
 attached to the side ropes, S S, and 
 
 floor j in which case the rollers of the 
 
 scenes, C, are attached by S -hooks, H, 
 
 to loops made on the endless ropes, R 
 
 R ; as shown in Fig. 9. 
 
 The Green Curtain that 
 closes the opening in the proscenium, 
 F, Fig. 7, is tied by tapes on to an 
 iron rod, D, suspended from the pole, 
 P, and is looped up or closed by the 
 arrangement of cords shown in Fig. 4, 
 which can be worked by the Prompter 
 from his own particular corner. 
 
 The Drop Curtain. The cur- 
 tain may be made of green baize or 
 green mushn, doubled. Up the back 
 of the curtain, along a strong linen 
 tape, must be firmly sewn rows of 
 brass rings, each row being about two feet from the side 
 edges of the curtain, and about the same distance from each 
 other, and the rings in each row are to be placed about six 
 inches apart. Ahem is made at the bottom of the curtain, 
 through which a stiff wire should be run to keep it steady. 
 
 The curtain may be fixed to the top of the frame by 
 means of strong tacks. 
 
 Cords are now passed through the rings and fastened to 
 the wire, then passed over pulleys on the upper piece of 
 the frame. On pulling the cords, if the pulleys and rings 
 
HOW TO AEEANGE A STAGE. 
 
 23 
 
 are properly adjusted; the curtain will rise easily. When 
 
 » D I> 
 
 / 
 
 id's 
 
 ! ^^ 
 
 ^/\|! ,C | 
 
 > 
 
 6 *i 
 
 
 ' /J ■ 
 
 ' ml 
 
 
 / 
 
 /'/// 
 
 ^ ^ 
 
 FIG. 10. 
 
 A A— Top of the Frame. B B— Curtain. C— Cords and Rings. 
 
 D D— Pulleys. E E— Wire. 
 
 the curtain is up the cords are fastened to a hook secured 
 
 FIG. 11.— BACK OF THE fiTTRT ATW. 
 
 to the left side of the frame about three feet from the floor. 
 
24 
 
 HOW TO ARRANGE A STAGE. 
 
 For a small stage only three rows of rings are necessary. 
 The annexed engravings (Figs. 10 and 11 ) will show tho 
 simplicity of the arrangement. 
 
 Lighting the Stage. This is readily effected if 
 gas is attainable, otherwise lamps must he employed. The 
 simplest method of fitting up gas footlights is to procure a 
 plank the width of the opening in the proscenium, on 
 which fix an iron pipe fitted with fish-tail burners, nine 
 inches apart, and a T joint to admit of its connection by 
 two elbow joints, and the necessary length of iron tubing, 
 with the gas supply beneath the flooring, in the manner 
 shown at G- G, Fig. 7. But this can only safely be en- 
 trusted to a gasfitter. The connection with the house sup- 
 ply should be made in the side of the stage selected as the 
 "prompt corner," so that the height of the gas may be 
 regulated by the Prompter by means of a stopcock, to 
 meet the requirements of each scene. To reflect the 
 light from the burners well over the stage from floor to sky 
 borders, several sheets of tinned iron, soldered together 
 to correspond to the length of the plank, must be fixed at 
 the proper angle found by trial. The bottom edg^e of the 
 sheet of tin being placed against the back edge of the 
 
 plank, a bearing is secured, and it can then w 
 
 be kept at the right inclination by -chain sup- 
 ports, as shown at G-, Fig. 7. It is also advan- 
 tageous to have gas burners on each side of 
 the stage itself, not only for working by when 
 the curtain is down, but to serve as " wing 
 lights" for the better illumination of the side 
 j scenes, W, and to counteract the density of 
 the shadows of the actors, thrown by the I 
 foot-lights on the wings. When gas is not 
 attainable, lamps must be employed, mounted 
 with semicircular sheet tin reflectors, as 
 shown in Fig. 12, which also serve to screen 
 the fights when necessary, by the simple act of turning 
 
HOW TO AHHAKTrE A STAGE. 
 
 25 
 
 the open side to the wall. Dwarf dome-shaped lamps of 
 the Argand construction are "best suited for the " float" 
 or footlights. Some four or five of them can be placed on 
 a plank, B, fitted with a reflector, E, similar to the gas 
 float previously described, but with the addition of a light 
 frame, H, which can be turned up when the stage has to 
 be darkened, as shown in Fig. 13. 
 
 Mediums must be provided both for foot and wing 
 fights when required to throw suitable tints upon the 
 stage— such as moonlight, firelight, etc. For the wing 
 lights colored glasses are best, but for the footlights stout 
 wire frames covered with colored silk or "tammy" are 
 the more durable and cheaper. Pale phosphorescent blu- 
 
 ish green being the proper tint for moonlight, deep blood- 
 red for firelight, yellow for bright, sunny scenes, rose tint 
 for sunset; but the two first are the most important for the 
 footlights — all the others for the wing lights. The colored 
 glasses, M, are supported by stout wires, "W W, soldered 
 to the upper part of the tin reflector, E, as shown in Fig. 
 12. The wire frames covered with colored material, M, 
 may be simply rested against the two uprights, U, of the 
 float lights, L, as shown in Fig. 13, and laid one upon the 
 other in front of the floats when not in use. Two young- 
 sters should be delegated to attend to the footlights and 
 mediums, and be provided with seats on each side of the 
 front row of the auditorium. 
 
26 
 
 HOW TO AKEANGE A STAGE. 
 
 Calcium-light Effects can be produced with an 
 ordinary magic lantern fitted with Si condensers. A 
 blight divergent beam of light tinted blue, green, red, 
 violet, is often required for ghost, moonlight, firelight, 
 demoniacal, lightning, etc., " effects," and this is produced 
 by the ordinary optical system of a magic lantern, L, con- 
 sisting of the "condensers," C, and the "power," P; or, as 
 at the theatres, with the condensers only, in what is called a 
 "■ theatre (calcium) light." It is therefore better to procure a 
 lantern of the form shown in Fig. 14, wherein the sliding 
 
 FIG. 14. 
 
 tube carrying the power, P, is removable, rather than the 
 ordinary article with a conical front tube. The powerful 
 Argand lamp usually supplied with magic lanterns may be 
 used, but the effects produced will not compare with the 
 vividness of the calcium light. The safest and most com- 
 pact calcium-light apparatus is that shown in Fig. 14, 
 wherein the oxygen is condensed into a small iron bottle, O, 
 and the hydrogen (carbureted) is obtained from the ordi- 
 nary house supply. The house gas is conveyed from a tap, 
 T, (inserted in iron gas tube, G, Fig. 7, in the prompt cor- 
 ner) by a flexible India-rubber tubing to the oxyhydrogen 
 jet, J, and connected therewith, the oxygen bottle being 
 
HOW TO ARRANGE A STAGE. 27 
 
 connected in a similar manner. The cock from the house 
 gas supply b^ing turned full on, the hydrogen tap of the 
 jet, J, is first turned full on to clear the tubes and jet, and 
 is then turned nearly down and the gas lighted. When 
 the lime cylinder on which the flame impinges is well 
 warmed, the lever tap of the condensed gas bottle is 
 turned very gently till a sufficiency of oxygen is mixed 
 with the hydrogen to make the lime glow with an inteuse 
 incandescent light. The hydrogen tap may be turned a 
 little more, and then the lever of the bottle, and so on, till 
 the light has been " coaxed up" to the brightest attainable, 
 for if suddenly brought to this point, the lime cylinder 
 would probably crack. The oxygen tap of the jet, J, is 
 turned full on from first to last and never used, all adjust- 
 ments being made direct from the bottle, 0, by the lever 
 of the valve head. By pushing the fight towards the con- 
 denser of the lantern or pulling it away, the rays may be 
 made to form a diverging, parallel, or converging beam of 
 light. The arrangement of condensed gas herein described 
 is not so universally known as the gas bag system, with its 
 cumbrous pressure boards and half-hundred weights, oc- 
 cupying much space, which can ill be spared on a drawing- 
 room stage ; nevertheless such an apparatus is procurable 
 from those opticians who go ahead with the times. It is 
 the method universally adopted at the New York thea- 
 tres, and ought to be everywhere, if only for the reason of 
 its perfect immunity from danger, a serious explosion 
 being a thing impossible. The magic lantern is service- 
 able for many other effects that can only be produced by 
 its means on an amateur stage. 
 
 Colored Fires are procurable of the firework 
 makers, but on account of the suffocating smoke they give 
 off they are — both in consideration of actors and audience 
 — better avoided, and the lime-light with colored mediums 
 resorted to in place thereof. If absolutely necessary, they 
 should be burnt upon a short-handled iron shovel, and as 
 
28 HOW TO PAINT THE SCENES. 
 
 soon as the curtain is down the shovel should be plunged 
 into a pail of water standing ready, and the windows, 
 doors, etc., thrown open, to ventilate the stage as quickly 
 as possible. 
 
 HOW TO PAINT THE SCENES. 
 
 The kind of scenery required has been described in the 
 previous chapters j and, it will be noted, all framework is 
 avoided, for the reason that anything like "flats," or those 
 scenes which divide in the centre, would occupy too much 
 space when not in use to be suitable for a drawing-room 
 stage ; while, on the other hand, scenes, side scenes, and 
 borders mounted on rollers occupy the smallest possible 
 space when wound up, and side scenes, when mounted on 
 laths and rollers, are quite firm enough to shut out the 
 wings and meet all other requirements. 
 
 It is as well, however, to meet the position that not un- 
 frequently presents itself to go-ahead amateurs, wherein 
 there is not sufficient time to prepare scenery, when an 
 entertainment is got up on the spur of the moment, or 
 where the lady of the house, having a nervous dread of 
 damaged wall-papers, " really thinks that scenery is going 
 a little too far." Under such circumstances there is only 
 one way to meet the difficulty, and that is to adopt the 
 mediaeval dodge of " The Classic Period of the Stage," 
 viz., indicate every scene by a printed placard fixed upon 
 a curtain of the darkest colored material that can be ob- 
 tained (a deep mulberry tint being the best as a general 
 background to the dresses), and at such a height as to be 
 seen above the heads of the actors ; this curtain of course 
 being hung at the very back of the room or stage. Then 
 boldly . make the best of things by giving some such 
 Opening Address as the following : 
 PROLOGUE. 
 Curtain draivs up and discovers the Manager. 
 
 Ladies and Gentlemen : — 
 
 I am Stage Manager, [boivs a self-introduction] 
 
HOW TO PAINT THE SCENES. 29 
 
 But without scenery, 
 
 Gorgeous decorations and machinery. 
 
 [Shrugs his shoulders disparagingly. 
 Sole properties — two chairs, one table. 
 Such a fix might any man disable. [Despairingly. 
 
 But, as Necessity begets Invention, 
 Let us at once establish a convention. 
 The scenes not being Morgan's, must be Fancy's sketch, 
 "Which on imagination please oblige me just to etch; 
 And, that all changes you may discern with ease, 
 I've invented these distinctions, 
 "Which you'll notice if you please. 
 
 This denotes a Scene — {whistles} this an Act — [rings bell} 
 Pray pay attention to that stubborn fact ! 
 
 But our dresses have been bought regardless of expense, 
 "Which we all hope may beget your admiration, most intense. 
 
 What need for grief? — Men in the olden time 
 Placed all their trust in reason and in rhyme ; 
 And a rude platform's unattractive plane 
 Foreran the stately stage of Drury Lane. 
 By pageantry or ballet-girls effected, 
 A most tremendous hit was ne'er expected. 
 Then all relied on Shakespeare — Avon's bard, 
 Beaumont and Fletcher, Jonson, Foote, Kinnaird. 
 Scenes ! — they had none, but on a covered frame, 
 Hung at the back, was there inscribed the name 
 Of whereso'er the mimic scene was laid — 
 As, Macbeth's Castle— Open Sea — A Glade. 
 Then trusted Managers to classic fame, 
 More than the clap-trap of a painter's name. 
 Having enlisted in our Thespian band, 
 We by such ancient customs take our stand ; 
 On this rough tablet we the lines display, 
 Which carry you, in Fancy, far away 
 To woods and forests, valleys, mountains steep, 
 To halls of dazzling light, or dungeons deep, 
 In the mind's eye ; and if they're viewed aright 
 Will serve for painted scenes, almost — perhaps not quite. 
 
30 HOW TO PAINT THE SCENES. 
 
 Our actors may not hope to equal one 
 Like Kernble, Bannister or Elliston; 
 Or Suet — he who, in a storm caught tripping, 
 Foreswore his name— and swore that he was Dripping. 
 
 Our actresses cannot expect to vie 
 
 With brightest Stars that gem the Thespian sky; 
 
 Despair they need not, for they yet will find 
 
 None to the softer sex can prove unkind ; 
 
 While youth and beauty form the female shield, 
 
 The stoutest censor to the fair must yield. 
 
 Then let me lastly your indulgence crave 
 
 For any faults we may perchance to have. 
 
 And should our feeble efforts naught avail ; 
 
 Should after all our best endeavors fail ; 
 
 Still let some mercy in your bosom live, 
 
 And if you can't applaud, at least forgive. 
 It must "be remembered that many pieces may be selected 
 wherein the scenes are laid in modern interiors, and much 
 may be done by arranging the room used as a stage to 
 make it look homely or luxurious, according to require- 
 ment. Thus, should there be a window at the back, by 
 putting up common check curtains or delicate chintz, 
 elegant muslin or rich damask, fitting up the fireplace to 
 match, and selecting kitchen, bed-room, boudoir or draw- 
 ing-room furniture to correspond, with appropriate wall 
 decorations, such as common colored prints, framed paint- 
 ings, vases, mirrors, etc., the aspect of a garret, cottage, 
 bed-room, boudoir, library or drawing-room may be given 
 to one and the same room, to make it serve for varied 
 scenes. Much may be said in favor of such arrangements, 
 as thereby no space is lost that, as a rule, can ill be spared ; 
 and the danger of making the actors look gigantic, by 
 dwarfing the room with side scenes and top borders, is 
 avoided. Nevertheless, there are many good plays suited 
 for home representation that require the accessories of 
 scenic effect to make the tout ensemble sufficiently realistic. 
 In preparing the flats and side wings to represent the in- 
 
HOW TO PAINT THE SCENES. 31 
 
 terior of a room, cheap wall paper and borders in imita- 
 tion of cornices may "be arranged in the shape of panels, 
 and form an elegant scene with little labor and outlay. A 
 limited number of typical scenes, by a judicious interchange 
 of side scenes, borders, etc., may be made to go along 
 way for the purposes of private theatrical representations ; 
 and these may be produced at trifling cost, if ; as is usual, 
 some one with artistic taste is to be found amongst one's 
 circle of friends who is ready to enter into the enterprise. 
 Certain rules must be attended to in the production of the 
 designs for such scenes, to avoid the absurdities that 
 might arise where the actors are forced into too close prox- 
 imity with the scenery. Thus perspective views are better 
 avoided ; but, if necessary, the foreground must be pro- 
 portionate to the height of the actors — whether they be 
 children, youths or adults— and any perspective view must 
 be represented as in the distance. "Wood scenes must rep- 
 resent the trunks of trees rather than the upper foliage, 
 with plenty of undergrowth, bold patches of ferns, etc. 
 Kocky valleys must have large boulders or ledges in the 
 foreground. Modern streets must only embrace the lower 
 portions of the houses ; ancient ones may have a market- 
 place fountain in the foreground, with the houses receding 
 or lying far behind. So with the side scenes — if a cottage 
 is represented, the porch only should be given. " Sky n 
 borders, for out-of-door scenes, are quite inappropriate, as 
 they come too close down upon the heads of the actors ; 
 so the side and back scenes are better closed in with vine 
 trellis, or other foliaged borders. This kind of defect is 
 not felt where ceiling, forest, or cavern borders are em- 
 ployed. 
 
 The aspect of a scene may be materially altered by 
 using " accessory pieces," which are made of separate bits 
 of linen strengthened by pasting brown paper on each 
 side and fastened to the scenery by means of diagram pins 
 and discs of cork, so as to cover certain parts of the 
 
32 HOW TO PAINT THE SCENES. 
 
 scene. Thus for an antique chamber the walls must be 
 ornamented with armor and stags' heads, but when a 
 library or parlor aspect is desired, accessory pieces repre- 
 senting family portraits must be affixed to the panels. 
 Again, in a modern interior, the cracks in the wall that 
 meet the requirements of a dilapidated room are covered 
 over with accessory pieces which represent water-color 
 drawings in gilt frames. Other accessory pieces may rep- 
 resent mirrors, statuary or clocks on brackets, and these, 
 in conjunction with the hints previously given, as to the 
 use of varied appropriate draperies hung upon a curtain 
 pole suspended in front of the window, furniture, etc., pro- 
 vide means for ringing the changes upon interiors to a 
 wonderful extent. 
 
 If we desire a village scene, we can take a landscape, 
 and by the addition of a cottage porch, a tree, and a vine 
 trellis or forest border, and a signboard accessory hung 
 below the border in front of the porch converts this into a 
 village inn. If we want a garden scene, the porch or 
 tree gives place to a flower-bed side scene, in conjunction 
 with a white garden-palings " ground piece" across the 
 back of the stage, if required. 
 
 If a smugglers' cave is desired, we form our landscape 
 into a seascape, by fixing in front of it an accessory piece 
 representing waves ; in front of this, at a suitable distance, 
 a rock-ground piece in reversed position ; and rocky side 
 scenes and border make up the entrance to the cave, with 
 sea and sky in the distance. These are sufficient hints to 
 indicate how such a set of stock scenes (painted only as 
 occasion calls for, be it observed) may be worked to give 
 very varied aspects, by the employment of a little inge- 
 nuity on the part of the Stage Manager of the Company. 
 
 Bridges are exceptional requirements, but when needed 
 may be made up with a couple of planks resting on fold- 
 ing steps, placed on each side of the stage, with a car- 
 penter's trestle for a central bearing ; appropriate hand- 
 
HOW TO PAIXT THE SCENES. 
 
 33 
 
 rails and uprights, painted balustrades, etc., being added, 
 according as a rustic, castellated, Chinese or other special 
 foreign aspect has to be given to it. 
 
 "Practicable" doors may be made with 
 a tall fire-screen or clothes-horse; one 
 frame, covered with brown paper, muslin, 
 etc., apxu-opriately paneled, is placed be- 
 tween two side scenes connected by a top 
 piece, painted to suit the character of an 
 exterior or interior, as may be needed, 
 i- ig. 15. C C, clothes-horse ; S S, side scene. 
 
 Window-frames are made of black tape tacked across 
 and interwoven to represent square or diamond panes. 
 Where persons have to pass or look in at or out of a win- 
 dow, scenes with such windows must have another scene 
 behind them to represent a bright, dark, or moonlit sky, 
 interior, or other appropriate background. 
 
 S 
 
 c /o 
 
 Having said enough about designing and planning the 
 scenery, it is time to give some instructions how to prepare 
 
34 
 
 HOW TO PAIXT THE SCEKES. 
 
 and paint scenes. First, it is necessary to select a room or 
 outhouse lofty enough to admit of the full-sized scenes be- 
 ing fixed upon the sketching frame ; the size suited for or- 
 dinary rooms is 9 feet high by 10 feet wide, but of course 
 they can be made lower or higher, should the room select- 
 ed for the stage be shallow or lofty. Next, a sketching 
 frame must be constructed of four laths united together, 
 so that their faces may lie in one plane ; or, to save the 
 after attachment of the cloths to the rollers, the rollers 
 may be made to form part of the sketching frame, as 
 ' shown in Fig. 16, wherein U U are two uprights, each 
 formed of two pieces, the front ones being as deep as the 
 diameter of the rollers, with their upper edges cut off at 
 an angle as shown at A, so as to form crotches in which 
 the rollers get a bearing. The rollers being screwed to the 
 back pieces of the uprights, a frame is formed. But if this 
 
 5 6 7 8 
 
 
 
 jjyyM Uj 
 
 f 3 ?, 
 
 i 
 
 5' 'V . 
 
 tT^i 
 
 
 m*m&m 
 
 
 - 
 
 irn^mmm 
 
 plan is adopted, great care must be taken in squaring the 
 cloth to the rollers, before it is finally tacked down, or the 
 scenes when painted will be out of the perpendicular. By 
 workmanlike employment of square and plumb line, this 
 error at starting can be avoided j a perpendicular, at right 
 angles with the horizontal line of the roller, being struck 
 at the left-hand edge, wherefrom the artist must work his 
 design. 
 
 The cheapest material for scenery, and that best able to 
 stand wear and tear, is common unbleached muslin. A 
 sufficient quantity, cut to proper lengths, having been pro- 
 cured, they must be sewn together at the edges till the re- 
 
HOW TO TAINT THE SCENES. 
 
 35 
 
 quired width is obtained, and then the entire cloth must bo 
 stretched upon the frame with tacks. Having first wetted 
 the cloth ah over, and allowed it to dry to get all creases 
 out, it is next primed {see page 37) on both sides and over 
 the joins, and again alio wed to dry. The next step is to 
 draw in the outline of the design with charcoal, and here 
 a few hints are given how to secure the proportions on a 
 large surface. Some scene painters enlarge by first di- 
 viding their design (made to scale) into squares {see Fig. 
 17), then they divide their canvas into a corresponding 
 set of squares {see Fig. 18), and next sketch into each 
 large square the portion of the design included in the cor- 
 responding small square. This system may be carried to 
 
 FIG. 18. 
 
 a slavish extent that mars the bold effect capable of being 
 produced by a good free-hand artist. Another plan for 
 laving out the canvas is to stretch two long measuring 
 iapes across the primed surface, so as to divide it horizon- 
 tally into three sections, then by employing two similar 
 tapes fixed as required, vertically, divide the space into 
 small or large compartments, according as a given portion 
 of the sketch design is full of detail or otherwise. The 
 
36 
 
 HOW TO TAINT THE SCENES. 
 
 tapes (see Fig. 19) must be parallel with the rollers 
 and the vertical guide line struck on the left-hand side of 
 the cloth. The scale of feet and inches on the tapes will 
 often prove of service where there is much detail over 
 several adjoining divisions. Of course the sketch design 
 must also he divided into three horizontal divisions and 
 small or large compartments, to counterpart the laying out 
 of the canvas. 
 
 o 
 
 VJJl 
 
 c 
 
 -sy~~ r 
 
 1) 
 
 FIG. 19. 
 
 Fig. 19 represents a stretched cloth laid out as de- 
 scribed. The upper horizontal section being devoted to 
 sky, the crossed tapes are not really required for this por- 
 tion, as clouds are better dashed in with a free hand. As 
 the design in the first portion of the middle section is very 
 open work, a large compartment can be laid out for it ; but 
 as there is detail in the next portion, a more circumscribed 
 area is embraced by the vertical tapes. When the design 
 as far as the second vertical tape has been sketched in, 
 the left-hand tape is removed and fixed on the other side 
 of the central one, small or large compartments being laid 
 
HOW TO PAIXT THE SCENES. 37 
 
 off as the work in that part of the design demands, and 
 so on till the same is entirely sketched in. Side scenes 
 may be painted separately, by simply tacking the lengths 
 against the wall of the painting room, or a full-sized 
 scene cloth may be stretched and marked out into 2 fee Lor 
 2 feet 6 inch widths, within which the wings may "be 
 sketched and painted. Sky borders and ground pieces 
 may be produced in the same way, only these are of course 
 painted the length instead of the width of the cloth ; and 
 it must be borne in mind that sky borders are the longest 
 of all, as they must close in the outside edges of the side 
 scenes. 
 
 The " priming 7 ' is prepared by soaking over night two 
 pounds of light-colored glue (broken into small pieces) in 
 sufficient cold water to cover it completely; in the morn- 
 ing the glue will be quite soft, and the whole should then 
 be melted in a pot over a gentle fire until thoroughly dis- 
 solved. (This, if allowed to cool, would solidify into a 
 strong jelly, and is known under the name of "size.") While 
 still hot, add to it about two gallons of hot water. In 
 another pail smash up whiting with water till it is of the 
 consistency of cream, then gradually add the size and 
 water previously made, till the mixture is as thick in ap- 
 pearance as good milk ; lastly, stir in a little more than 
 half a pint of common molasses. This is the preparation 
 employed for surfacing the muslin, two coats of which, on 
 each side, are laid on with a large whitewashed or house- 
 painter's brush. It is also used for mixing with the 
 ground colors, obtainable at the paint stores, for the pro- 
 duction of the body colors with which scenes are painted 
 in what is termed distemper. 
 
 The colors that will be found most generally useful are 
 Venetian red, red lead, yellow ochre, yellow chrome, 
 Brunswick green, ultramarine, indigo, brown ochre, burnt 
 sienna and lampblack. By judicious intermixture various 
 other colors and tints are produced, the most important 
 
38 HOW TO PAINT THE SCENES. 
 
 being ultramarine with various proportions of white prim- 
 ing, for sky and water tints. It may save disappointment 
 by mentioning that ultramarine will not mix with other 
 colors, muddy tints being the result. Red lead with vari- 
 ous proportions of priming, for warm cloud tints, autumnal 
 foliage, high lights, or trunks of trees. Brunswick green 
 and yellow chrome for all shades of light green. Bruns- 
 wick green and indigo for dark green. "Where metallic 
 tints are necessary, foil paper must be employed ; these 
 are cut out to the required shapes and are fixed to the cloth 
 with thick paste; when dry they are shaded over with 
 distemper. 
 
 Before beginning to lay in distemper colors the effect to 
 be produced must be well considered, or tried experiment- 
 ally on a small scale beforehand ; for it is necessary to work 
 quickly, and blend one color into another while wet, or, 
 when dry, the effect will be streaky or hard. In mixing 
 the colors it must be remembered that distemper dries 
 lighter by from twenty to thirty shades, so that what 
 would look effective and artistic while wet would come out 
 very washy and weak when dry. Again, allowance must 
 be made for the coloring being illuminated by artificial 
 light, rich in yellow rays. You must commence by laying 
 in the middle or half tints, over which are worked the high 
 lights and shades. Broad effect with bold treatment must 
 be aimed at, and niggling at details avoided, as scenery is 
 not intended for close inspection; and here, truly, 
 
 Distance lends enchantment to the view. 
 
 All dark lines, etc., must be " marked up," with the proper 
 pigments mixed with strong size. Distemper colors should 
 be mixed in red earthen pipkins, as they must be kept 
 warm during use, or the size would set and would not 
 work freely. 
 
 Enough has now been said to assist those who have ar- 
 tistic taste and skill, but have not had any previous knowl- 
 edge of scene-painting in distemper. Of course, no one 
 
HO"W TO PRODUCE EFFECTS. 39 
 
 will make a scene who has not had practice in the use of 
 pencil and brush. 
 
 As regards shifting scenery, it is better, as a rule, to 
 drop the curtain at the end of each scene ; the exception 
 being in the case of trick-scenes or instantaneous changes 
 in fairy pieces, or plays where dreams, visions, etc., are 
 enacted, and these are rarely attempted by amateurs. 
 
 HOW TO PRODUCE EFFECTS. 
 
 Moonlight is best produced by placing all the wing 
 lights, fitted with the appropriate mediums, on one side of 
 the stage only, so as to rake the stage with slanting beams 
 of green light. The magic lantern may also be brought 
 into use with effect ; a medium being placed in its stage, 
 and the light arranged for diverging beam, the rays may 
 be directed slantingly through a cut open window, if a 
 moon is necessary, a round hole must be cut out of the 
 cloth, over which aperture a piece of fine linen must be 
 glued, and when dry the disc must be well greased with 
 salad oil. This must be illuminated from behind by the 
 magic lantern, with the rays made parallel or sufficiently 
 so to concentrate all the light upon the disc ; by suitable 
 mediums a cold, bright or harvest moon may be represent- 
 ed. On removing the light the moon is no longer visible, 
 or it may be obscured by a bank of clouds cut out of brown 
 paper and worked across the scene with cords. 
 
 Lightning is best imitated by aid of the magic lan- 
 tern. A violet medium being placed in its stage, the fight 
 is exposed and cut off rapidly or in a flickering manner by 
 the operator's hand placed before the nozzle. If the en- 
 tire stage is to be illuminated with lightning flashes, it is 
 better to place the lantern at the back of the auditorium, 
 using what is called a "long focused" power, and cutting 
 off all rays but those that just fill the aperture in the 
 proscenium by an oblong card diaphragm cut to size by 
 trial. This method of working from the back is also an 
 
40 
 
 HOW TO PRODUCE EFFECTS. 
 
 excellent method for illuminating the entire stage with 
 moonbeams for a fairy glen, a phosphorescent green 
 medium "being employed. In ghost scenes a weird effect is 
 thus produced. A tolerably good imitation of lightning 
 may be made by throwing a pinch of gunpowder through 
 an open flame. There are tin tubes made for the pur- 
 pose with fine holes at one end, to allow a small portion of 
 finely powdered rosin to be dusted through aflame. Pow- 
 dered lycopodium is also used, as it makes less smell in 
 burning than either gunpowder or rosin. 
 
 s 
 
 Thunder is resembled by shaking a piece ( 
 of sheet iron. With a little practice an admir- I 
 able representation of the raging of a storm 
 may be rendered. 
 
 Hain is imitated, as to the various degrees 
 of intensity of a storm, by the masterly use of 
 a long square tube, crossed with partitions, as 
 shown in Fig. 20, charged with a sufficient 
 quantity of peas. On reversing and inclining 
 this instrument the peas fall from one partition 
 to another, and a noise is produced that sounds 
 like the patter of a heavy fall of rain. Accord- 
 ing as this tube is inclined from the horizontal 
 to the perpendicular, so the patter becomes 
 softer or louder. 
 
 Wind is imitated by scraping the edge of J 
 a broad strip of wood over a length of silk. n G . 20. 
 
 Crashes are imitated according to the nature of the 
 supposed cause. Thus, a door being broken in is repre- 
 sented by turning the cogs of a watchman's rattle; the 
 breaking of glass or crockery by turning over once or 
 more a box filled with metal cuttings, such as sheet tin or 
 brass, or broken crockery. 
 
 Battle Scenes by the clashing of several basket- 
 handled iron toy swords ; the roll of musketry or rifles by 
 
HOW TO PRODUCE EFFECTS. 
 
 41 
 
 means of a rattle ; the booming of cannon by strokes on a 
 drumhead with a muffled drumstick ; the cries and cheers 
 of the combatants by those not engaged on the stage. 
 All such sounds must be made "off," while these on the 
 boards engage in combat, exchange pistol or rifle shots, or 
 else "look off," as if at a distant battle or field of action. 
 
 Burning Buildings must be treated as off the 
 stage, and the stage illuminated by all the wing lamps 
 being brought to one side, fitted with red glasses. A lan- 
 tern behind the audience may, with a suitable long slip 
 slide in its stage, be made to produce a flickering effect — ■ 
 now blood-red, now yellow, now dark, now yellow, now 
 red again — with a very sensational addition to the acting. 
 
 Fires in grates, furnaces, etc., must be produced by 
 cutting out part of a side scene on which the grate, fur- 
 nace, alchemical retort, etc., is painted. Cover the aper- 
 ture with linen, as previously described for the moon (see 
 page 39), paint up with red, yellow and purple varnish 
 colors, and then illuminate the back. 
 
 Moving Waterfalls, Fountains, etc., maybe 
 imitated very effectively by a not very complicated contri- 
 
42 HOW TO PRODUCE EFFECTS. 
 
 vance made as shown in Fig. 21, wherein an endle:^ LaaO 
 of silver tissue is made to move downwards by thb c*ctiou 
 of a drum supported on two uprights and wc*ked by a 
 crank handle. This contrivance is placed uetween two 
 half scenes of rocky aspect for a waterfall, and the higher 
 it is carried up the better the effect. By a modification ot 
 this arrangement, with accessory rol^rs, water sprites may 
 be arranged so as to be seen through the falling tissue, or 
 this may be placed behind t* u cut out cloth " represent- 
 ing a fountain. In any caoO the transparent silver tissue 
 must be effectively lighted by the magic lantern, its stage 
 being fitted with radiums of various tints. 
 
 Sunrise, fe^nset, and Night Effects may be 
 
 produced by i. similar arrangement, by providing for an 
 endless bcvcL: scene, on the two surfaces of which a sky, 
 graduated from the roseate hues of morn to the ruddy 
 tints or eve, through the gloaming of twilight into the 
 deej> blue shades of night, is artistically painted. Such 
 aricmgements may be regarded as aims too ambitious for 
 auvdteurs, but there is no real difficulty in carrying these 
 iato effect, if a little ingenuity, carpentering, and a mod- 
 erate outlay of cash can be commanded. 
 
 Vampire Traps, for the sudden appearance of such 
 hobgoblins as the " Bottle Imp," " Heme the Hunter," etc., 
 cannot be provided for the floor of the stage in a private 
 house, so an arrangement must be made at the wings with 
 two side scenes in counterpart, between which the actor 
 stands, and the front wing is sharply drawn aside when he 
 is to appear. A similar arrangement is suited for secret 
 panels in a wall, only in this case the back wing is drawn 
 slowly aside, a screen being placed behind the actor. 
 
 Ghosts may appear by a similar arrangement at the 
 wings, but the most effective and ghastly way is to throw 
 the vision on to a dark wing by the magic lantern, the 
 character being painted on a double slip slide, It is grad- 
 
PROPERTIES. 43 
 
 ually unfolded to view by drawing aside the two slips, 
 whereon clouds of mist are painted, the light being at the 
 same time gradually increased in brilliancy. 
 
 Gauzes are employed for the gradual discovering of a 
 fairy or witch scene. These are made of white or black 
 tar] etan muslin, according as light or dark mist, smoke, 
 etc., has to be indicated. Two or three layers, a little 
 larger than the opening of the proscenium, are arranged 
 one behind the other in front of the side scenes, and these 
 are furled one at a time till the actors are fully discovered. 
 This produces a very weird effect. 
 
 PROPERTIES. 
 
 Properties, or curtly " Props," comprise stage furniture 
 and domestic uteusils of all kinds, even down to buckets, 
 brooms, gridirons, candlesticks, bull's-eye and other lan- 
 terns, bottles, medical or spiritual, flagons, eatables, 
 whether real or make-believe ; such weapons for clown 
 and pantaloon as rolls of sausages, flat fish, carrots, tur- 
 nips and cabbages, dead cats, brickbats, etc. Pantomimic 
 masks, fairy wands, and flowery banks are at a theatre 
 produced and kept by the Property Man, while swords, 
 pikes, guns, pistols, armor belong to the domain of the 
 Armorer. On an amateur stage no such division of labor 
 can be entertained, the common -sense plan being for the 
 Stage Manager to see that all properties required for each 
 piece are provided; then each performer must see that 
 any article he or she has to carry on the stage is to hand, 
 whilst the Stage Manager must look after all properties 
 that are to be on the stage, when the scene is set. To 
 check omissions, the Prompter calls over the list of proper- 
 ties required for each scene before the curtain is rung up. 
 
 Furniture must be selected to suit the scene, whether 
 drawing-room, dining-room, boudoir, bedroom, kitchen , 
 or poverty-struck. To avoid encumbering the joint-stock 
 green and property room, adjoining the stage, it would be 
 
44 PROPERTIES. 
 
 well to bint that a table and two chairs, of the kitchen 
 type, by judicious treatment, with table-cloths, rich in 
 color, clean, white or dirty, and chair covers of various 
 cuts and patterns, may be made to assume very varied 
 aspects. High back chairs of antique character may be 
 imitated by cutting out a back in pasteboard, painting it 
 up, and covering the seat and legs with muslin, painted to 
 a corresponding style and pattern. All such coverings 
 occupy little space, and allow a change of aspect in the 
 furniture being quickly effected. 
 
 In a banqueting scene, a good effect may be produced 
 by placing a half scene across the back of the stage, 
 painted to represent an antique buffet, covered with silver 
 dishes, golden flagons, tankards, etc., of bold design, to 
 represent properties. 
 
 Banners, etc., may be painted on thick paper. 
 Those who carry them must be instructed to keep the 
 painted side always facing the audience. 
 
 Shields of various shapes may be cut out of paste- 
 board, and armorial bearings emblazoned thereon, or be 
 covered with foil, and bossed or spiked. 
 
 Spears, etc., may be made out of broom handles, to 
 which spear heads turned out of wood, or battle axes cut 
 out of pasteboard, are spliced. The shafts may either be 
 painted over or wound round with strips of red cloth, 
 fastened down with brass-headed nails. 
 
 Swords, Scimetars, Daggers, etc., may be 
 cut out of thin wood to the required shape, then covered 
 with tin foil, and finally rubbed over with black lead and 
 polished. The handles may be formed by rolling paper 
 round the wood and binding with thick string. If a, 
 murder has to be committed, the blade of the knife or 
 dagger should be kept bright, and one side blotched with 
 blood-colored varnish ; the bright side must be kept next 
 to the audience till the blow is struck ; when the handle 
 
HOW" TO MAKE UP DftESSES. 45 
 
 must be rotated quickly in the actor's hand, so that the 
 blade may be withdrawn with the bloody side outwards. 
 
 Armor may be very fairly made up out of paste- 
 board, and then either black-leaded, or covered with tin 
 foil and black-leaded, or covered with silver foil, according 
 as dark or bright armor is required. Brass armor may be 
 imitated by sewing gilt foil, scales or bosses— obtainable of 
 the stage ornament makers— on to long gray or red stock- 
 ings and long armed elastic shirts, and cloth cut to shape. 
 
 Kelinets may be made up with gore-shaped pieces of 
 pasteboard (somewhat in the shape of the pieces of silk in 
 an umbrella), to which a gorget is stitched with stout 
 waxed thread, and a practicable visor, and a plume of 
 feathers made out of tissue paper, added. Breastplates, 
 thigh pieces and greaves may, with a little ingenuity, be 
 worked up into form out of pasteboard; but body armor 
 may be avoided by adopting an overcoat, such as the 
 Knight Templars wore, emblazoned with armorial bearings. 
 
 Fairy Wands may be formed out of cheap fishing 
 rods, willow rods or rattan, bound round, spirally, with 
 tape and colored tinsel. 
 
 Wreaths of Flowers are made out of colored 
 papers. 
 
 Agricultural Implements, such as hay rakes, 
 spades, forks, etc., must be imitated in pasteboard and 
 wood, if the real articles are not obtainable. 
 
 Domestic Utensils are always on hand, so no dis- 
 play of ingenuity is called for with properties of this 
 description. 
 
 HOW TO MAKE UP DRESSES. 
 
 The directions for costume should be given out by the 
 Stage Manager, so that their colors may harmonize, not 
 only one with another, but likewise with the scenery to be 
 employed ; and all the company must attend implicitly to 
 
46 HOW TO MAKE UP DRESSES. 
 
 his instructions, that the artistic elements of the entertain- 
 ment may not be marred. Thus, if the scenes are laid 
 chiefly among green woods, green dresses should, as much 
 as possible, be avoided, for the reason that they would 
 not stand out in contrast against a mass of the same color; 
 so red against red, white against white, must be avoided. 
 What in optics are termed complementary colors, always 
 give the rule for proper artistic contrasts. There are 
 three primary colors, blue, yellow and red. The comple- 
 mentary color of each of these is always the result ob- 
 tained by blending the two others. Thus, the comple- 
 mentary color of red, is a blend of blue and yellow, or 
 green ; that of blue, is the combination of red and yellow, 
 or orange ; that of yellow, the mixture of blue and red, or 
 purple. What is true in this respect with regard to the 
 proper background for the costumes, also applies to the 
 rules for proper contrasts in the making up the dresses 
 themselves, and also as to the harmony of colors in an 
 assemblage of costumes. Uniformity of tint produces 
 optical illusion, if the eye is allowed to dwell upon it for 
 any time, as may readily be proved by a very simple ex- 
 periment. Place a large scarlet wafer on a piece of white 
 paper, gaze on it steadfastly for a minute or so, then 
 remove the eye to the paper, and a green image will be 
 seen, and the edge of the paper will appear bordered with 
 a green fringe of colors. As regards juxtaposition of 
 tints, if two scarlet costumes were placed side by side, but 
 one happened to be a greater depth of color, it would not 
 only make the other appear pink, but its own color value 
 would be heightened. 
 
 The annexed is a list of well-known harmonious con- 
 trasts of colors :— 
 
 Red — Green. Red-orange — -Green-blue. 
 
 Orange — Blue. Tellow-greeu — Violet-red. 
 
 Yellow — Yiolet. Orange-yellow — Blue-Yiolet. 
 
 Sulphur-yellow — Black. 
 
HOW TO MAKE UP DEESSES. 47 
 
 Whatever the shade of one, the complementary color must 
 be of equal intensity. Deep shades mnst not come in con- 
 trast "with light shades of the same color or their comple- 
 ment aries. 
 
 As regards the material of showy costumes, much may 
 he done by the revamping of old silks, satins, velvets, furs, 
 coats, vests, etc. ; the employment of German velvet, 
 brown holland, glazed musfin of bright color, trimmed 
 with black or white cambric, imitation lace, furs, gold and 
 silver fringe, different colored curtain trimmings, foils cut 
 out to diamond form, or stamped out in the shape of leaves, 
 bosses, crosses, jewelry, magical emblems, etc., imitation 
 pearis, colored beads, and fancy trimmings of various 
 kinds — all of which may be obtained at little cost. 
 
 Silk or cotton stockings may be stained in a great 
 variety of colors by the employment of proper dyes. 
 Striped stockings in great variety are now purchasable at 
 a cheap rate ; black, wmite and gray are to be found in 
 most wardrobes, or may be bought of any hosier. Old 
 slippers may be made to look mediaeval by covering them 
 with black velvet slashed with crimson, blue or amber- 
 colored satin, trimmed with rosettes of different colored 
 ribbons. Ankle boots fitted with large buckles, cut out of 
 tinsel or foil paper, may be made to look of the Georgian 
 period. Walking boots fitted with bufi leather flaps and 
 lace, may be converted into those of cavalier aspect ; or 
 with cream-colored cardboard rims into top boots. With 
 black extensions, into the jack boots of the huntsman, 
 military officer, fisherman, or Californian miner's cut. 
 Fishing boots can be turned to romantic service. 
 
 Sashes and scarfs of many colors ; belts, black, brown 
 and metallic, with big buckles, may be turned to effective 
 account. 
 
 Enough has now been said on making up dresses to 
 suggest how, with material generally at hand, or readily 
 procurable at a cheap rate, a great variety of appropriate 
 
48 HOW TO MAKE UP DEESSES. 
 
 and effective costumes may be got together. All the play- 
 books give directions for the costumes required, and such 
 instructions must be followed as nearly as possible, in 
 which the foregoing hints will prove serviceable. 
 
 Ladies' apparel is more readily convertible into female 
 theatrical costumes than men's habiliments, so that but 
 little need be said regarding it, as feminine taste will readily 
 suggest and contrive ways and means for meeting the 
 directions given in the play-books, and young ladies know 
 well how to make themselves look lovely with pearl 
 powder, rose blush, penciled eyebrows, patches, and gay 
 dresses, as artificial aids to heighten their natural charms. 
 
 Wigs and Bsard.3 maybe made out of silk, worsted 
 and tow. The basis of a wig may be a white 
 cotton night-cap. This is sewn up to fit the 
 outline of the head, the superfluous bag is 
 cut away, then it is turned inside out, and 
 the material selected is stitched down to it, 
 or long hair may be stitched to the margin 
 of a crown, hat, cap, or other head-dress, if 
 such article has not to be removed at any 
 time. FIG - 22. 
 
 Beards are worked upon a wire framework of the form 
 shown in Fig. 22. 
 
 Hair beards in great variety of forms and color are 
 purchasable at most hair-dressers' at a very cheap rate. 
 Very outre patterns may be hired for the night from the 
 theatrical wig-makers. Moustaches may be fastened to 
 the upper lip with basilicon ointment, or produced in great 
 variety of form by the aid of burnt cork. 
 
 The Trick or Fright Wig is an ingenious ar- 
 rangement by which the hair on the scalp is made to rise 
 upright on pulling a thin cord, which hangs down and is 
 operated by the performer's hand. It is mostly used by 
 negro minstrel performers among their other burlesque 
 extravagancies of costume. It would not ; however, be out 
 
ON " MAKING UP." 49 
 
 of place on the head of the low comedian or funny man of 
 a piece, where, in one of the stage " situations," he is 
 laboring under the effects of a u scare." Even if this does • 
 not legitimately occur in the course of the play, a very 
 little ingenuity could introduce some little circumstance or 
 occurrence which would "lead up" to the requisite climax 
 of abject terror on the part of the funny man, provided he 
 possessed a trick wig, and desired to " make a point " 
 with it. 
 
 ON "MAKING UP." 
 
 A performer's appearance depends so greatly on the 
 " making up " of the face, that a few words on the subject 
 are indispensable. Wigs, beards, moustaches, etc., are 
 generally easily obtainable, but in their use a great deal of 
 judgment and good taste is needed. 
 
 The materials requisite for making up the face consist of 
 a box of good water-colors, a piece of India ink, some 
 fine chalk, dry rouge, pearl powder, and a few camel's-hair 
 pencils. Before applying any of the colors and pigments 
 to the face, the skin should be first washed, to remove any 
 natural greasiness, and then thoroughly dried. When the 
 object in view is only to improve the complexion, the fore- 
 head, neck, etc., should be judiciously whitened with pearl 
 powder; the cheeks require a sufficient application (not 
 too much) of rouge, laid on with a hare's foot or the fore- 
 finger, and carefully blended off at the edges in as natural 
 a manner as possible. It must be borne in mind that in 
 the use of rouge or any other appliances, while exaggera- 
 tion is allowable, this must never overstep the extreme of 
 nature. Under the strong glare ' of the stage lights, the 
 natural face appears pallid without some addition of 
 artificial color, but amateurs should avoid the usual ten- 
 dency to overdo it. The art of painting the face consists 
 in concealing the paint. To impart to the face a comic 
 appearance ; rouge may be applied to the end of the nose, 
 
50 ON " MAKING UP." 
 
 on the forehead, and rather more strongly than usual on 
 the cheek bones, in order to intensify the prominent parts 
 of the face; the comic expression is made permanent by 
 bringing out the comic hues of the face, which is most suc- 
 cessfully accomplished by assuming the desired u broad 
 grin/*' and tracing before a mirror the wrinkles produced 
 with a brush dipped in a reddish-brown water-color. An 
 expression of anger, a natural scowl or a simper, may be 
 permanently given to the face in the same manner. In 
 order to find out whether the right expression is properly 
 obtained, it is a good plan to step back from the glass and 
 stand under a strong light at a distance equal to that 
 which the performer's position on the stage would be from 
 the nearest portion of the audience. 
 
 In making up a face to represent an old man, a bald 
 wig with straggling gray hairs on each side of it should be 
 drawn over the head, and entirely conceal the natural hair. 
 The color of the face must be made to assimilate with the 
 color of the bald part of the wig. The hues of the face 
 are then deepened with a brush dipped in India ink of the 
 proper depth of color, the wrinkles between and below the 
 eyes and across the forehead brought out, also the crow's 
 foot at the outer corners of the eyes, the lines from the 
 nose to the corners of the mouth, and the furrows in the 
 neck penciled out in the same manner. 
 
 To give the face an emaciated and sickly appearance, 
 the entire face must first have a coating of white to cover 
 the natural color, and the pallor increased by a bluish tint 
 under the eyes and under the cheek bones, to give them 
 ,thc necessary sunken look, and the lines from the nose to 
 the corners of the mouth deepened, in order to give more 
 prominence to the cheek bones. A piece of black court 
 plaster laid over a front tooth makes it appear as if the 
 tooth was gone, and changes greatly the expression of the 
 mouth. 
 
 The making up for Ethiopian business admits of very 
 
ON "MAKING UP." 51 
 
 great variety, and requires more care than it might be sup- 
 posed. It is not as easy to act " nigger " as many young 
 Thespians imagine, as it needs a very close study of the 
 action, voice and peculiarities of the genuine article, and a 
 natural gift of mimicry to reproduce them. 
 
 Unless an actor possesses these qualifications, he had 
 better leave nigger business alone, and take up some other 
 hue of acting ; but if he does possess them, he will know 
 better than any one can tell him how to dress his part. 
 The ordinary plantation nigger will need a regular curly 
 horse-hair wig ; his face black as the ace of spades ; his 
 lips painted red and greatly exaggerated in thickness, and 
 his eyes opened widely, so as to show the whites. His gar- 
 ments old, patched and ludicrously ill-fitting; his action 
 slouching, careless and thoroughly characteristic. The 
 exquisite, stylish darky should have a fine wavy, rather 
 than curly, wig of real black hair, his face lighter in color, 
 with the cheeks brought out with carmine, and much less 
 "lip." His dress extravagantly showy, and his demeanor 
 a half well-bred, half insolent swagger. 
 
 Between these two extremes there are many gradations, 
 in which must be included the good old Uncle Tom style of 
 negro, with white wig, eyebrows, etc., and well-worn but 
 neat clothes. 
 
 The best preparation for coloring the face, hands, etc., is 
 finely pulverized burnt cork, which can be obtained ready 
 made in small packages. Before applying this, it is advisable 
 to give the skin a very thin but complete coating of lard, 
 which prevents the color from penetrating the pores, and 
 allows of its being easily wiped off with a greasy cloth; the 
 black should be laid on with a hare's foot or puff, and will 
 adhere to the grease on the skin without being rubbed in. 
 The rouge may be applied to the lips in the same manner. 
 Some prefer laying the color mixed with water or beer on 
 the dry skin. It feels more comfortable applied in that 
 manner, but this is more than counterbalanced by the diffi- 
 
52 ox "making up." 
 
 culty in washing it off, and the redness and heat of the skin 
 afterwards. It will do very well for the hands, as they are 
 more easily cleansed, and any grease on them would be apt 
 to smear off. The coloring of the hands mnst he a close 
 imitation of the real negro's, as it is almost impossible to 
 describe the parts, especially of the inside of the hand, 
 that must be lighter in color than the rest. Moons and 
 Red Indians require a face color of Spanish brown, ap- 
 plied in the same manner as burnt cork. 
 
 At the first dress rehearsal the Stage Manager should 
 direct and assist in making up the faces j but on all after 
 occasions this should be done by each actor for himself, 
 only giving the Stage Manager the trouble of putting in the 
 finishing touches. 
 
 Crowns may be shaped out of pasteboard covered with 
 gilt foil, and studded with tinsel gems. Hats of various 
 shapes may be made up with old felt hats or of pasteboard 
 trimmed with fringe, gold, silver or cotton lace, feathers, 
 etc. Feathers can be well imitated by snipping and curl- 
 ing doubled pieces of tissue paper of various colors, and 
 mounting the paper on copper wire. Jockeys' caps are 
 made of half gores of colored silk, satin or German velvet, 
 peaked with pasteboard. Burglars' caps with half gores of 
 brown plash, and ear-flaps tied on the top or under the chin. 
 Striped night-caps, blue and white, red and white, etc., are 
 effective for Neapolitans, smugglers, etc. Scarlet night-caps 
 for countrymen, brewers, Continental peasants, etc. 
 
 Kings' and Queens' dresses may be made up with 
 crowns, royal mantles out of figured crimson table-cloths, 
 colored muslin under-dresses, embossed leather belts, stock- 
 ings of deep color, slippers slashed with velvet and satin, 
 and trimmed with rosettes, etc., of colored ribbon. 
 
 Roman Dresses are readily made up out of sheets 
 trimmed with "meandering-square" borders of various de- 
 sign and colors for the toga, and the feet sandaled with 
 colored worsted binding. 
 
OX ''MAKING UP." 53 
 
 Monks' Habiliments are readily made of a loose 
 cowled garment of washed-out purple calico, tied in at the 
 waist with knotted cord, and the feet sandaled with sad- 
 colored worsted binding. An ordinary dark brown domi- 
 no is equally good; and, failing these, a lady's hooded 
 water-proof cloak will answer the purpose. 
 
 Clergymens' Hobes may be rapidly improvised out 
 of a table-cloth and a pair of black pantaloons, arranged 
 with the legs hanging down on each side of the wearer's 
 neck; the body of the unmentionables may be pinned up to 
 look like a hood ; a white clerical tie completes the attire. 
 
 Demons can be effectively made up according to ap- 
 propriate color. If red-hot fiends are required, crimson 
 worsted tights made like a long- armed undershirt and a 
 pair of long stockings should be provided, the ends of which 
 can be tucked in and covered by a pair of old pantaloons 
 cut short. From the waist to the knee the body is covered 
 with a black velvet fluted skirt, bordered with two rows of 
 crimson worsted binding, the rest of the velvet being stud- 
 ded with small pieces of green foil, cut in the snape of 
 beetles' wings, connected with a pearl bead head, from 
 which two red antennae are struck out ; an embossed gilt- 
 leather belt encloses the waist. The head is covered 
 with a plum-colored velvet helmet-shaped cap, with flat 
 horn peaks projecting from each temple ; this skull cap is 
 edged with pearl bead trimmings, and a snake mawe of silver 
 tissue and green tinsel entwined is coiled up on the top of 
 the head with the tail hanging down the back ; a long wig 
 of black and green worsted is stitched round the inside of 
 the cap ; black velvet bracelets, studded with green tinsel, 
 completes the costume. This is a most effective dress for a 
 superior demon. Common cindery imps may be dressed in 
 black tights with red or green tinsel horns, and very shoH 
 and tight red or green satin breeches. Comic demons may 
 be fitted with elastic tails made of spiral wire loosely cov- 
 
54 OX " MAKING UP." 
 
 ered with bluish-gray crape ; such may be pulled out to a 
 great length, and when freed they return to their original 
 dimensions; they also may be made to assume very varied 
 grotesque convolutions. Nondescript demons may be 
 made up in black muslin puffy dresses of vague form, 
 trimmed with green tinsel, long-rayed stars, sombre green 
 stockings and green foil lantern-shaped helmets or head- 
 pieces. 
 
 Fairies only want a judicious display of white, pink 
 and blue muslin, pink silk stockings, plenty of bright span- 
 gles about the head, painted gauze wings and wands of 
 many colors. The younger members of the friendly circle 
 must be enlisted for fairy characters. 
 
 Witch.es are made up with a pasteboard conical hat, 
 with a frilled cap under and well round the face ; scarlet 
 baize hooded cloak, trimmed with black or green tinsel 
 mystic symbols ; blue and white checked petticoat, black 
 or gray stockings and buckled shoes. 
 
 Brigands. — Conical pasteboard hat, trimmed with red 
 worsted binding ; black beard and moustache, white shirt, 
 large turn down collar, gaily colored neckerchief, tied 
 with a slip knot; arms tied in above and below elbow 
 with red ribbons ; old black pantaloons cut off at knee, 
 trimmed up each side with red worsted binding, and 
 studded with sleigh bells ; many-colored sash, tied round 
 waist, with ends hanging down; poniard and pistol 
 stuck in sash; white stockings, criss-crossed with red 
 worsted binding up to knees, and tied with rosette and 
 streamers ; carbine. To give variety an old black jacket, 
 or one made up of green velvet, trimmed with gilt ball 
 buttons, ribbons, etc., maybe worn, hussar fashion, on the 
 left shoulder. 
 
 Conspirators' Costumes must, of course, corre- 
 spond to period of play; but the conventional melodramatic 
 type is made up with black felt slouched hats, long black 
 
OX " MAKING UP." 55 
 
 hair hanging down back, Charles I. style of monstache and 
 imperial, black eyebrows, deep lace collar, black jacket 
 and knickerbockers; bull" leather belt with huge brass 
 buckle, pistols, dagger stuck therein and rapier may be 
 added ; gray stockings, ankle boots with buckles, or long 
 black or buff boots; long, full scarlet cloak, fox effect. 
 This does for any mysterious being of the melodramatic 
 cut ; but if much given to lurking in shady comers, the 
 cloak should be black, trimmed with large black bugles, 
 to form glittering masses for effect ; a black, grayish-green 
 or scarlet feather may be placed in the hat for variety. 
 
 Smugglers are made up with blue and white striped 
 cotton night-cap, long black (worsted) hair sewn inside 
 edge, full black bushy beard, blue and white cotton shirt, 
 black neckerchief sailor-knotted, brown holland skirt, with 
 two rows of black, blue, or red worsted binding round bot- 
 tom, black leather belt, big buckle, pistols stuck therein, 
 and sea boots, made of black muslin, pasted on stout brown 
 paper, or of black wax-cloth. 
 
 Neapolitan Fishermen are made up much in the 
 same way, but the caps may be red and white; a gay 
 colored scarf replaces the belt, a dirk, the pistols, and 
 Okie and white striped stockings with buff slippers will 
 effect the difference. 
 
 Eighteenth Century Costumes may be made 
 up out oi old shooting jackets, trimmed with gold and 
 silver lace, or of maroon, chocolate, red, pink, yellow and 
 blue paper-muslin, to imitate satin coats, cut to fashion 
 of period, trimmed with lace, imitation bright cut steel 
 buttons, etc. ; long vests of chintz ; black, gray, or pink 
 stockings, with buckled shoes or jack-boots ; wide-brimmed 
 felt hats turned into three-cornered hats, trimmed with 
 feather, gold, silver, or cotton lace ; worsted or tow wigs, 
 or the hair brushed back with a tie or pigtail, and pow- 
 dered ; dress swords, or rapiers. 
 
56 ON "MATTING trp. w 
 
 Poles. — Square pasteboard caps, and "black coats trim- 
 Died with fur, breast corded and frogged, scarlet necker- 
 chief, high boots furred round the top. 
 
 Burglars and Roughs of the present period may 
 be readily made up with a common cap, hair brushed 
 short, black or carrotty whiskers, beard and moustache of. 
 the bushy cut; old brown or gray shooting jacket, well 
 patched and dirtied ; red, blue, or yellow cotton necker- 
 chief, black breeches, gray stockings and brown leather 
 gaiters, face dirty red, corked eyebrows, eye-sockets 
 deepened with antimony, surgical strappings on nose or 
 forehead, and black patch over one eye as accessories ; a 
 life preserver sticking out of pocket, or a stout knobby 
 stick under arm is suggestive. If a bull or other degraded 
 looking dog can be made to follow ^to heel/ 7 it will be all 
 the more effective and characteristic. Bear in mind dogs 
 are capable of being "made up 77 to look "to character, 77 
 and dirt will go a long way in effecting this. 
 
 Scamps are readily made up with a dilapidated stove- 
 pipe hat, with a red cotton spotted pocket-handkerchief 
 showing under, lank hair, chin blued to give an unshaven 
 aspect, and a haggard "■ make up 77 of face, collarless neck, 
 seedy old out-at-elbows swallow-tailed coat, that has 
 scraped acquaintance with the pavement, buttoned up to 
 suggest a shirtless body; dirty, baggy, patched trousers of 
 a fast check pattern ; cracked and muddy boots. 
 
 Jockeys' dresses can be made up with half gores of 
 German velvet to form the cap, in alternate colors, such 
 as black and white, red and white, blue and white, etc., 
 with black card-board peaks; white shirt sleeves, with a 
 loose brightly-colored silk body to form the jacket ; belt ; 
 eream-colored drawers made into knee breeches ; boots, 
 with card-board tops stitched on ; spars and whip. 
 
 Joim Bull, assumed by a stout person, requires a 
 fluffy white hat, fiery face, short hair ; mutton-chop whis- 
 

 ON " MAKING UP." 57 
 
 kers only ; blue scarf with white spots, large carbuncle pin 
 therein ; dark blue coat (if necessary made out of paper- 
 muslin unglazed side out), brass buttons ; buff vest ; huge 
 watch chain and bunch of seals ; cream-colored drawers 
 made into breeches ; top-boots ; big stick. 
 
 Yankee. — The traditional Yankee, with very short 
 striped pantaloons, and long straps, and whose leading ec- 
 centricity consisted in "whittling," has almost passed from 
 the stage. The modern improvement is usually dressed in 
 plain gray home-spun garments, cut country style. The 
 head is made up with a straight flaxen wig, sallow complex- 
 ion, the tip of the nose reddened, and a general rugged ap- 
 pearance given to the face by slightly increasing the natural 
 hues and wrinkles. The Yankee characteristics are brought 
 out much less by eccentricity of costume than by the voice, 
 action, and general demeanor. 
 
 Dundreary Swells. — Full evening dress, or a morn- 
 ing costume, with gaiters, huge shirt curls, and the charac- 
 teristic billy-goat whiskers and beard. 
 
 Highlanders. — Glengarry cap, eagle's feather or 
 heather sprig therein, fastened on by silver buckle \ car- 
 rotty worsted locks ; white shirt and red neckerchief; plaid 
 shawl to form the kilt ; plaid scarf over shoulder ; tartan 
 hose over pink stockings ; sporran, philibeg, dirk, claymore, 
 and Scotch jewelry as accessories, when requisite. 
 
 Paddy.— Dilapidated white hat with black band, and 
 a short pipe stuck therein; short sandy tow wig; blue 
 and white neckerchief, with slip knot, round neck ; darkish 
 green swallow -tailed coat (made of green paper muslin, un- 
 glazed side out, if necessary), brass buttons ; scarlet vest ; 
 yellow breeches tied at knees with red ribbons ; gray ribbed 
 stockings ; shoes and buckles ; shillalah under arm. 
 
 Country Bumpkin.— Dwarf round felt hat, sandy 
 worsted locks sewn under edge; smock frock; crimson 
 neckerchief; long leather gaiters. 
 
58 ON " MAKING UP." 
 
 Red. Indians are readily made up with a night-cap, 
 bordered with scarlet cloth, worked out white and blue 
 bugles, covered over with pea-hen feathers, arranged in 
 two full rows, one on each side of the head, pointing back- 
 wards from the forehead and hanging downwards at the 
 back of the head, black (thread) lanky hair showing under ; 
 red face, tattooed with indigo and bright vermilion ; bright 
 Eed Indian pattern shawl, worn as a cape ; dark brown 
 holland skirt to knees, trimmed with red and worked with 
 black and white bugles ; long leather gaiters, worked with 
 colored beads and bugles, and tufts of many-colored 
 worsted up outside legs ; spear, bow, tomahawk, scalp, 
 for accessories, as required. {See page 52.) 
 
 Triggers. — Woolly wig, maae out of old horsehair chair 
 stuffing, sewn to a skull cap ; face, neck and hands corked j 
 white shirt ; large turned down collar, trimmed with blue 
 binding ; pink and white broad striped calico breeches to a 
 little below knee: broad belt with large buckle; black 
 stockings. ( See page 51 . ) 
 
 Planter. — Very broad brimmed straw hat, lanky 
 (black thread) hair sewn under, untrimmed beard and 
 moustache, white cotton jacket, striped blue and white 
 shirt, black belt and buckle, nankeen colored pants, slip- 
 pers j stick to whittle, or slave whip, as accessories. 
 
 Trappers, Gold Miners, etc — Broad-brimmed 
 \vhite felt hat, lanky black (thread) hair, shaggy beard and 
 moustache, or bushy black beard for variety ; red shirt, 
 colored neckerchief, old gray or other colored walking 
 trousers, cut to knees ; black belt and buckle, bowie knife 
 and revolver therein j high black boots. 
 
 Jack Tars are easily made up, with round straw hats 
 with name of ship on dark blue ribbon j hair brushed back 
 and terminating in a sturdy (worsted) pigtail; black 
 bushy beard, over a jolly red face and pimpled nose ; white 
 shirt, with broad turn down collar and cuffs, trimmed with 
 
GENERAL DrEECTIOXS OX ACTING. 59 
 
 light blue braid; black neckerchief with sailor's knot; 
 white duck or deep indigo-blue trousers, full at the bot- 
 tom; broad black belt and big brass buckle, pumps and 
 buckles ; pistols, cutlass and boatswain's whistle, as acces- 
 sories, when required. 
 
 Mrs. Ganip and "sitch like" characters, are takingly 
 made up with large coal-scuttle bonnet, gaily trimmed 
 with ribbons, and preposterous flowers of the peony or 
 hollyhock style, frilled cap showing under; flaring red 
 shawl, black skirt, gouty boots ; big-bellied umbrella ; an 
 inexhaustible basket, containing gin bottle, rubber over- 
 shoes, snuff, peppermint-stick, pocket-handkerchief, brush 
 and comb, sausages, etc., mixed " permiscous. 7, 
 
 GENERAL DIRECTIONS ON ACTING. 
 
 We do not for a moment pretend to be able to make our 
 readers perfect actors, much less profess to offer au exhaus- 
 tive article on the art of acting; for in the first place, suc- 
 cess must depend upon the possession of a certain amount 
 of natural aptitude for the imitation of character and the 
 expression of the passions; and in the second place, it 
 would be impossible to condense into one short chapter all 
 that has been or could be written on elocution and appro- 
 priate action, so we will only attempt to point out what 
 is most important to be borne in mind by amateur actors 
 and actresses. 
 
 Don't be nervous ! When you have once made up your 
 mind to join the ranks of an amateur company, enter heart 
 and soul into the spirit of the enterprise, and never let the 
 feeling come upon you that you are making a fool of your- 
 self; for recollect if you do, any acting manager who 
 knows his duty will let you know it; and if a bit of 
 " gentle fooling" is worth doing, " go the whole hog" and 
 do it heartily. 
 
 Avoid nervousness when rehearsing with your compan- 
 
60 GENEEAL DIRECTIONS ON ACTING. 
 
 ions, and especially when before an audience. When you 
 go upon the stage, do not let your heart come into your 
 mouth, as the saying is, or mentally ask yourself, " Am I 
 going to make a slip of any of my part V but enter boldly 
 and say what you have to say self-collectedly. If you look 
 into the auditorium, never attempt to recognize the faces 
 of friends or foes, for an impish boy putting on a grimace, 
 indicative of " what a mess you are making of it, 77 may 
 upset you, or the bland smile and nod of recognition of 
 some acquaintance may put you out, and the perception of 
 some lady friend's roguish giggle may shut you up entirely. 
 If you have to laugh, laugh out heartily and naturally, and 
 never let it degenerate, through nervousness, into an 
 abortive "Ha, ha," coming from the bottom of the throat 
 instead of the top of it. Bear in mind, putting all ner- 
 vousness aside, that laughing, like singing, requires honest 
 practice. On the othee hand, nevee attempt to 
 
 SUEJf OTTNT ~ NEEVOTTSNESS BY TOO EEEE A DISPLAY OE 
 
 nonchalance, as it too often degenerates into mere vulgar 
 impudence. 
 
 Learn your part thoroughly! This is not only a duty to 
 yourself, but to those with whom you act ; for should you 
 forget a portion of the text, omit a cue, or come to a dead 
 stand, you will cause others, who have learnt their parts 
 well and conscientiously, to come to grief as well as your- 
 self. Again, one who is known to boast that he knows his 
 part well, and, fairing at rehearsal, amends his assertion by 
 saying he will be " all right when the night comes," leaves 
 his fellow actors in a state of suspense very detrimental to 
 inducing that calmness of mind which is so conducive to 
 Thespian success. Such selfish indolence ought to be stig- 
 matized as it deserves whenever it comes under the obser- 
 vation of an Acting Manager. Whenever there are con- 
 versational bits, especially when the sentences are short, 
 or but a mere interchange of a word or two right through 
 a long dialogue, it is safe to learn your co-actor's pail as 
 
GENERAL DIRECTIONS OX ACTING. 61 
 
 well as your own, instead of the cues only, if you would 
 ensure perfect success. 
 
 First learn your own part till you have got it by heart 
 perfectly, and are sure of the correct pronunciation of 
 any out-of-the-way words, and get some one to test you 
 without the book. Next try your part in conjunction with 
 those you are immediately associated with in the piece, so 
 as to be well prepared for the first renearsal. At rehearsal 
 the Acting Manager will point out any defects or miscon- 
 ceptions, and how you may improve your part generally. 
 With improved conception, now study your part for appro- 
 priate action, by-play, and any other kind of stage business 
 the character and the situation demand. As at the first 
 rehearsal the Acting Manager tests his company for their 
 perfectness in the words of the play, correct reading, and 
 conception of the parts, at the second rehearsal he will 
 not only test them over the same ground, but also as to 
 appropriate action and stage business, so that at the 
 third rehearsal all ought to have a pretty correct notion of 
 how to act their several parts, as well as being pat with 
 the words, and be ready for a call for a dress rehearsal 
 antecedent to the night of the performance. 
 
 Speak out distinctly and as slowly as the part admits of. 
 It is a very common thing to find a beginner try to get 
 through his part as fast as a school -boy rattles orThis lesson 
 in geography, and with the same amount of emphasis ; or 
 to speak in a whisper, so that no one can guess at a word he 
 says. This can only be got over by training and practice, 
 through the constant watchfulness of the Acting Manager, 
 keeping a constant check upon all such railway excursions 
 of speech. Even in patter songs and parts every word 
 must be distinctly enunciated, as any one well knows who 
 has once heard that great master in patter parts — 
 Charles Mathews. 
 
 Emphasize your sentences! so as to give force to the 
 part, and facilitate a just comprehension of the author's 
 
62 GENERAL DIRECTIONS ON ACTING. 
 
 text; but never let emphasis degenerate into rant or 
 drivel. Emphasis involves the correct expression of the 
 tragic, amatory and comic passions, ail the gradations of 
 feeling and temperament, and makes the greatest call on 
 the intellectual powers or genius of the actor. A chapter 
 might he written upon this one head alone and yet fail to 
 knock the perfect perception of feeling into a reader, for 
 an actor, like a poet, "must be born, not made." It is, 
 therefore, better to carefully note the rendering of our best 
 actors and actresses, though even they are often too con- 
 ventional and " stagey" to be strictly natural in their 
 delivery. 
 
 Mind your cues ! As your fellow actor in a scene his 
 tale unfolds, keep your eyes and ears open for your own 
 ewe— that is, the last word or two of the dialogue he has 
 to speak before it is your turn to give forth, or it may be 
 some act or action that gives you the signal to take up the 
 acting. Where the paragraphs are long or of moderate 
 length, it is easy to recollect your cues ; but where they 
 are short, it is safer to learn your fellow actor's part as 
 well as your own, that all may come pat, and the dialogue 
 move smoothly. 
 
 Suit the action to the ivord and the word to the action, 
 neither too soon before, nor too late after, the word to be 
 illustrated with appropriate action. Action must be 
 natural, not exaggerated, or it degenerates into burlesque, 
 rant or drivel. 
 
 Facial expression forms a large part of the actor's stock 
 in trade, as it adds immensely to a correct expression of 
 toe passions depicted, whether they be those of love or 
 hatred, power or despair, rage or calmness, admiration or 
 contempt, pleasure or pain, malignity or tenderness, 
 sarcasm or genial wit, etc.; and although lew persons use 
 exactly the same method of portraying their emotions and 
 passions, there are certain conventional rules adopted in 
 general for giving them expression on the stage. 
 
GENERAL DIRECTIONS ON ACTING. 63 
 
 Anger is depicted by drawing the lips open so as to show 
 the teeth firmly set ; shaking the head in a menacing man- 
 ner, the eyes open widely, the eyebrows contracted, and 
 the hands clenched. 
 
 Fear is shown by a sudden shrinking backwards, as if 
 preparing fur flight; the eyes and mouth widely opened, 
 and the hands raised and trembling, as if to repel the 
 object feared. 
 
 Grief requires a solemn, impassive countenance; the 
 eyelids lowered ; the head dejected; the hands nervously 
 clenched, and pregnant sighs. 
 
 Hatred is depicted by drawing back the foot nearest to 
 the audience ; the head averted in the same direction ; the 
 hands stretched out as if to repel the object hated, and 
 the countenance expressing anger. 
 
 Jealousy watches stealthily every movement of its object, 
 with flashes of anger, grief and scorn, with an occasional 
 gleam ot pleasure. 
 
 Joy shows itself by a smiling, radiant face, dancing and 
 clapping of hands. 
 
 Scorn is expressed by turning with aversion from its ob- 
 ject, the eyebrows elevated, the head drawn up, the cor- 
 ners of the mouth drawn down, and the mouth set as if to 
 say the word " pooh," accompanied by a wave of the hand, 
 palm outwards. 
 
 Wonder or astonishment is shown by resting the hands 
 on the bended knees; the head forward; the eyes and 
 mouth open; followed by a gradual straightening of the body 
 and elevation ot the hands and arms, with the mouth set 
 as if to say "Oh!" 
 
 Trying to recollect something is done by bending the 
 head down, with the eyebrows thoughtfully knit ; tapping 
 the forehead with the forefinger. 
 
 Recollection, following the foregoing effort, is expressed 
 by raising the same forefinger upward, with a sudden gleam 
 of intelligence and satisfaction on the countenance. 
 
64 GENERAL DIRECTIONS ON ACTING. 
 
 Attitude.— Your "pose" should be calm and dignified, 
 except when the character demands different treatment. 
 This, however, must never be exaggerated, except in the 
 case of burlesque. On the other hand, although restlessness 
 should be avoided, never stand stock still, or bolt upright 
 like a tailor's dummy, unless in acting, as a supernumerary, 
 the part of a soldier on guard. When a fellow actor is re- 
 citing an adventure or legend, let your attitude, whether 
 sitting, leaning or standing, indicate rapt attention and 
 interest in what he is saying. This leads to the following 
 important remark, viz., facial expression, appropriate ac- 
 tion and attitude must not be studied to give effect to 
 your own part only, but also to aid your fellow actors by 
 adding co-operative expression to their parts, and give 
 unity of conception to the scene represented. In some 
 cases restlessness of attitude becomes necessary to the sit- 
 uation, either in illustration of your own part or that of 
 others, even to the extent of pacing the stage to and fro in 
 an excited state of comic rage, etc., especially when you 
 have to declare you are perfectly calm — not in the least de- 
 gree excited, an assertion your entire action must ludi- 
 crously contradict. If you have to rise from your chair and 
 look off in nervous fear at something approaching, whether 
 that something be ghost, burglar or assassin, rise and 
 walk a step or two forward; but never hang hesitating 
 over the cushion, and then when you have to dissemble 
 plump back upon that domestic article for human support ; 
 for such apparent loss of control over your centre of gravity 
 may disturb the gravity of the audience, and evoke a gen- 
 eral titter at what should be a very solemn moment. 
 
 What ought I to do with my Hands and Arms f This is 
 a question often asked by novices in the Thespian art. 
 Well, though it has been said, as a rule, stand still, never 
 let your upper limbs hang monotonously by your sides, like 
 a toy grenadier. Quietly raise one hand to the waistband, 
 sash ; or vest pocket, and let it rest there awhile ; fold the 
 
GENERAL DIRECTIONS ON ACTING. 65 
 
 arms across the chest, or place them behind the back, shrug 
 the shoulders, or make other gestures with one or both arms, 
 appropriate to what the others are saying ; anything, in 
 fact, to avoid a monotonous pose, as long as it is not 
 absurdly out of character with the scene or character 
 represented. 
 
 Never turn your Back to tlie Audience, unless it is abso- 
 lutely necessary for you to do so, much less speak in such 
 a position. 
 
 Take Time yourself and give others Time for every Sen- 
 tence to be distinctly delivered, so that the audience may 
 have every chance of clearly comprehending all that is 
 being said. It is a very common shortcoming of amateurs 
 to speak too close upon the utterances of their fellow- 
 actors, not unfrequentiy giving the answer to a question 
 that has not been completely put, and so confusing actors 
 and spectators alike. 
 
 Business is a stage technicality for pantomimic action, 
 employed in a variety of ways to suggest motive, or some 
 event taking place oft" the stage, that either is not or could 
 not be enacted thereon — such as the course of a boat or 
 horse race — in which the characters' interests are involved. 
 The turns of a battle or a naval engagement, or the pro- 
 gress of a conflagration, the representation of cooking and 
 eating a steak, or pointing out the victim for an assassina- 
 tion while conspirators are slowly creeping across the back 
 of the stage, may be cited as examples of u business." 
 Farces very often abound with directions for business, and 
 the success ot the piece depends upon the aptitude of the 
 performers in giving humorous finishing touches to the 
 author's text. 
 
 Attend to Stage Entrances and Exits, as given in the 
 stage directions for each play. In Fig. 23 is given a diagram 
 to facilitate the proper comprehension of the terms em- 
 ployed, and indicated by the well-known conventional 
 symbols. 
 
66 GENERAL DIRECTIONS ON ACTING. 
 
 It will be seen from this disposition of entrances, doors ; 
 etc., that the actor is supposed to face the audience, and 
 not to look up the stage. 
 
 D. R. C. D. C. D 
 
 B. IT. E. Scene. 
 
 . L. c. 
 L.C 
 
 L. U. E. 
 
 i|j B . 3 E. 
 
 L. 3E. jg" 
 
 b.2e. 9 <f STAGE. 
 
 % *a*" 
 
 B. 1 E. $P 
 
 "I L. 1 E. 
 
 "] B. B. C. C. 
 
 *■ 1 
 
 
 
 | ooooooooo 
 
 o o 
 
 o o o o | 
 
 Footlights or Floats. 
 
 
 AUDIENCE, 
 
 D. C. indicates Centre Door. 
 
 D. B. C. " Door Bight of Centre. 
 
 D. L. C. " Door Left of Centre. 
 
 E. 1 E. indicates Eight First Entrance. ] L. 1 E. indicates Left First Entrance. 
 E. 2 E. " Eight Second Entrance. L. 2 E. " Left Second Entrance. 
 
 E. 3 E. " Eight Third Entrance. L. 3 E. " Left Third Entrance. 
 
 B. U. E. " Eight Upper Entrance. ) L. U. E. " Left Upper Entrance. 
 
 C. indicates Centre. 
 
 E. " Eight. 
 
 L. " Left. 
 
 E. C. " Eight of Centre. 
 
 L. C. " Left of Centre. 
 
 Never keep the Stage waiting. Be punctual to all ap- 
 pointments, whether made for the purpose of rehearsal or 
 actual performance, for it is a breach of good manners to 
 waste your fellow actors' time or to keep an audience wait- 
 ing. Dress quickly, and do not give the Acting Manager 
 and Prompter the trouble of sending for you several times ; 
 ■ when you are wanted on the stage be ready to go on. 
 Never be guilty of the unmannerliness of accepting a part, 
 rehearsing for it, and then at the last moment, on the 
 night of performance, through failing courage, send an 
 apology of being " too unwell to come," unless you are in 
 the position to back such an excuse with a medical certin- 
 
GENERAL DIRECTIONS ON ACTING. 67 
 
 cate. Such breach of good faith might cause the entire 
 breakdown of an entertainment got up with care and ex- 
 pense, and, of course, be the cause of bitter disappoint- 
 ment, not only to your fellow actors, but to the host and 
 hostess, and those friends they have invited to honor you 
 with their presence. Never accept a part unless you can 
 depend upon your moral courage to carry you through the 
 ordeal. 
 
 Never lose your Temper. If, after you have got up your 
 part to your own satisfaction, you find that your interpreta- 
 tion does not come up to the Acting Manager's ideas of ex- 
 cellence, accept his hints for improvement with a good 
 grace ; and if he has patience to drill you till you do get 
 through the part right, show your appreciation of his de- 
 termination to do his duty to your Company by a good- 
 tempered bearing, even under hard grinding. 
 
 Work honestly at your Part in all its bearings. Whether 
 you are cast for a leading or minor part, honestly determine 
 to work at it till you are perfect, both as to words and 
 action, for, bear in mind, the breaking down of a small 
 pin may disorganize otherwise perfect machinery. 
 
 Finally, we commend to your serious attention Shak- 
 speare's advice to actors, as given through Hamlet in his 
 scene with the Players, viz.'. 
 
 Speak the speech, I pray you, as I pronounced it to you, trip- 
 pingly on the tongue; but if you mouth it, as many of your play- 
 ers do, I had as lief the town-crier spoke my lines. For do not 
 saw the air too much with your hand, thus; but use all gently; 
 for in the very torrent, tempest, and (as I may say) whirlwind of 
 bassion, you must acquire and beget a temperance that may give 
 it smoothness. Oh, it offends me to the soul to hear a rumbustious, 
 periwig-pated fellow tear a passion to tatters, to very rags, to 
 split the ears of the groundlings; who, for the most part, are 
 capable of nothing but inexplicable dumb-show and noise; I 
 would have such a fellow whipped for o'er-domg Termagant; it 
 out-Herods Herod ; pray you avoid it. ... • 
 
68 PREPARING FOR THE PERFORMANCE. 
 
 Be not too tamo neither, but let your own discretion be your 
 tutor; suit the action to the "word, the "word to the action, with 
 this special observance, that you o'erstep not the modesty of 
 Nature; for anything so overdone is from the purpose of playing, 
 whose end, both at the first and now, was, and is, to hold as 
 'twere the mirror up to X/ature ; to show virtue her own feature, 
 scorn her own image, and the very age and body of the time 
 his form and pressure. Now this overdone, or come tardy off, 
 though it make the unskillful laugh, cannot but make the judicious 
 grieve; the censure of which one must, in your allowance, 
 o'erweigh a whole theatre of others. Oh, there be players, that I 
 have seen play, and heard others praise, and that highly— not to 
 speak it profanely — that, neither having the accent of Christians 
 nor the gait of Christians, pagan nor man, have so strutted and 
 bellowed, that I have thought that some of Nature's journeymen 
 had made men, and not made them well, they imitated humanity 
 
 so abominably 
 
 And let those that play your clowns speak no more than is set 
 down for them ; for there be of them that will themselves laugh, 
 to set on some quantity of barren spectators to laugh too ; though 
 in the meantime some necessary question of the play be then to 
 be considered ; that's villainous, and shows most pitiful ambition 
 in the fool that uses it. — " Hamlet," Act III, Scene 2. 
 
 PREPARING FOR THE PERFORMANCE. 
 
 Gradually, as the night approaches, the preparations 
 thicken. The primary selection of the parts in a piece 
 having been made, a list of the characters and their pro- 
 posed representatives must be submitted to the Acting 
 Manager. Should he think a partial or entire re-distribu- 
 tion of the cast advisable, his advice must be willingly re- 
 sponded to, for doubtless his only desire would be to make 
 a judicious display of the respective talents of the members 
 of his Company according to the best of his judgment, 
 founded on his experience of their several capabilities and 
 personal fituess for auy given character. 
 
 The Manager being informed that all have learnt their 
 
PEEPARING FOB THE PEEFOEMAXCE. 69 
 
 allotted parts, he makes "a call, 71 by postal-card or letter, 
 thus— i 
 
 
 A. T. C. 
 
 
 CALL. 
 
 
 (Amateub Thespian Club.) 
 
 
 On Monday, 
 
 October 2d, 1876. 
 
 A FAMILY FIX. 
 
 
 8. P. M. 
 
 
 
 0. 
 
 3TAGEB, A. M. 
 
 Which is sent to every acting member of his Company. 
 This summons each one must attend punctually, for it 
 would be a breach of good manners to waste your fellow 
 actors' time by keeping them waiting your pleasure or 
 convenience, even though you might mistakenly fancy it 
 was atoned for by any fine levied on you for such breach 
 of discipline. 
 
 The Manager, playing the part of Prompter also, watches 
 his Company at their first rehearsal, and observes the in- 
 terpretation of character each actor makes of his part, 
 together with his style of delivery and perfect grasp of the 
 words. Then he rebukes for any imperfection as to mas- 
 tery of words, illustrates how the sentences should be de- 
 livered with the proper modulations of the voice, and cor- 
 rects any misconceptions of reading or of character. This 
 being gone through, important bits are tried again and 
 again, till he feels that all are on the right road to a proper 
 interpretation of their several parts ; then, arranging for 
 the next rehearsal, he dismisses his Company. Taking it 
 for granted that all study and grind away at their parts, 
 and that those that have to work into each other's hands 
 make a point of practicing together, the Manager meets 
 his Company at the second rehearsal thoroughly convinced 
 
70 PREPARING FOR THE PERFORMANCE. 
 
 that, out of mere respect for the time he gives, there will 
 be no shortcomings as to the mastery of the words ; ho 
 therefore is prepared to drill his pupils in the required 
 action and business — what to do with their arms and legs; 
 where to enter ; how to meet, turn from, or avoid each 
 other; how to fight, fall, rise, walk, pose, etc.; always 
 trying over and over again, if necessary, bits that are not 
 carried out to his satisfaction. Another step onwards 
 having been made, the Manager arranges for a third re- 
 hearsal, when he expects to find every one fairly perfect, both 
 as to words, action and business, and unless there be dire 
 necessity for further drilling, he calls a dress rehearsal. 
 
 At this, actors, their dresses, make up, properties, the 
 scenery, fighting, effects, incidental music, etc., pass 
 under his most critical review, and all matters for altera- 
 tion are noted, and forced upon the attention of those con- 
 cerned. In some cases he may see necessity for calling 
 another dress rehearsal, especially if the actors do not seem 
 at home in their dresses and make up. 
 
 It can be well understood that all this drilling of tyros is 
 very trying and laborious work, therefore every one is 
 bound to co-operate in assisting the Manager to carry out 
 his views, and maintain strict discipline. All his sugges- 
 tions and corrections must be received good-humoredly, 
 even if he finds it necessary to speak a little sharply at 
 times. On the other hand the Manager, though forced to 
 enter upon his reign of supreme power with firmness, 
 should enforce his bidding in that genial spirit which 
 begets willing slaves. 
 
 Perhaps one of the most difficult matters a Manager has 
 to encounter when dealing with an amateur Company, is to 
 provide against a stereotyped pose when a number have to 
 express some emotion common to all upon the stage, such 
 as fear, grief, joy, surprise, etc. Whatever be the amount 
 of drilling it entails, he must see that no two persons strike 
 
PREPARING TOR THE PERFORMANCE. 71 
 
 the same pose, unless it be with the object of producing a 
 burlesque efiect. 
 
 The management and disposition of the stage, scenery 
 and properties should be made between the Acting and 
 Stage Managers conjointly. The Acting Manager, as 
 Prompter, telling on all properties required for each scene 
 from his prompt list, before he rings the curtain up. As 
 a rule, it is better to allow the curtain to fall between each 
 scene when a performance is given in a private house, 
 where both space and assistants are limited. It is better 
 for the Acting and Stage Managers to meet an hour or so 
 before the time specified for a dress rehearsal, to try the 
 arrangement of scenes, lighting, effects, etc., and see that 
 all works out as planned, while the stage is clear, and to 
 avoid wasting the actors' time when they assemble. It is 
 also advisable to have a separate trial of any incidental 
 orchestral assistance required before a dress rehearsal 
 commences, that all may run smoothly when a beginning 
 is once made. 
 
 Before the dress rehearsal, the Prompter must prepare his 
 plots or prompt lists, which for amateur requirements must be 
 modified from those employed at a theatre. These embrace 
 the scene, property, entrance, effect, and business plots. 
 
 The Scene Plot at a theatre defines what scenes are 
 to be employed in each act ; what wings, borders, ground 
 and cut pieces are to accompany them, and at what en- 
 trances they are to be placed. 
 
 The Property Plot embraces all articles to be 
 placed on the stage, such as tables, chairs, etc., and those 
 to be carried on by the actors, such as brooms, pails, let- 
 ters, arms, banners, etc., during each scene. 
 
 The Entrance Plot includes the names of all the 
 characters, in the order in which they are to come on, and 
 the entrance they must appear at, indicated by the letters 
 employed at page 6Q ; such as r., l. c, etc. Further, the 
 
72 PREPARING FOE THE PERFORMANCE. 
 
 prompt book is marked a length, that is, forty -two lines, 
 before an entrance, with a figure made in red ink and en- 
 closed in a circle, to indicate the character or characters 
 next to come on, and this number is handed to the cad hot/, 
 who quickly proceeds to the dressing-rooms of the actors 
 thus specified, calls them by name, and hands to them any 
 properties they have to take upon the stage. 
 
 The following Entrance Plot of "A Family Fix " will 
 serve as an illustration, as the play is marked to correspond 
 with it: 
 
 {Henry, to begin. 
 Eliza, ready, a plate of eatables in each hand. 
 Alfred, ready. 
 
 Mr. Jones, hat and cane. 
 Mrs. JoNES,walking costume. 
 
 © 
 © 
 
 (3 J Emma. 
 
 For amateur purposes it is better to see that all who have 
 to act in any given scene are ready to come on at the proper 
 moment or cue, and are furnished with the properties 
 they have to carry on the stage. 
 
 Effects and business plots are marked upon the 
 prompt fist ; so that we will say a calcium-light is found to 
 be in position ready to throw a beam of colored rays upon 
 the stage, or a bell may be tolled, or a clock strike, at the 
 proper point. 
 
 A Music Plot is also necessary when there happens 
 to be incidental music in a piece, as in the Ghost Sym- 
 phony in the Corsican BrotJiers. 
 
 A prompt-book should be arranged, in which scene, prop- 
 erty, entrance, etc., plots should be marked to corre- 
 spond with the call slips. These are slips of paper on which 
 each plot is written, and suspended on a hook near the 
 
PREPARING FOR THE PERFORMANCE. 73 
 
 prompt corner, ready for the Manager to hand to the call 
 boy when the proper time arrives. 
 
 To prepare such a prompt hook two copies of the 
 printed play book should be procured, the right-hand 
 pages of one copy and the left-hand pages of the other 
 being employed for the production of one complete copy of 
 the play, in such a form as will admit of its being cut up 
 and pasted down, between the written interlineated direc- 
 tions, "plots/' etc. The prompt side, or p. s., is usually 
 on the left-hand side of the proscenium as the actor 
 looks towards the auditorium, unless the green-room hap- 
 pens to be on the right-hand side. 
 
 The prompter should give the signal to the Orchestra for 
 commencing the overture, and also for starting incidental 
 music during the progress of the piece. Amateur Mana- 
 gers will find it greatly to their advantage to furnish the 
 leader of the Orchestra with a copy of the play, on the 
 margin of which the incidental music has been marked 
 wherever it is required, and the cues underscored to give 
 the right moment for the orchestra to start. 
 
 At a theatre, all the "plots," with the commencement 
 of a new act, begin afresh with number one, and then run 
 on in consecutive order to the end of each act ; but for 
 small pieces, an amateur Manager will find it plainer to 
 number his plots right through the piece, to avoid a repe- 
 tition of numbers, which might tend to confuse. 
 
 In the dressing-room, order should be maintained. 
 Tables or planks should be ranged round two sides of the 
 room, on which each actor's costume, together with the 
 properties he has to take on the stage, should be arranged 
 in methodical order — each actor having a space for himself 
 — their ordinary articles of dress being neatly folded up 
 and placed beneath the space devoted to the costume, 
 etc., when they undress. If possible, a common looking- 
 glass should be hung on the wall over each space, and the 
 actor's name should be written boldly on paper and placed 
 
74 PREPARING FOR THE PERFORMANCE. 
 
 over it. ' l A place for everything, and everything in its place," 
 should be the first rule in the dressing-room ; and an order 
 should be affixed to the door that no one must touch or 
 * in any way disturb a fellow actor's apparel. One or more 
 dressing-tables, with swing looking-glasses, lighted by 
 swing gas burners or movable lamps, a cheval glass, if 
 possible, and one or more washstands, must be arranged 
 at the ends of the rooms. Of course those who have to 
 come on first, dress or finish dressing in the first batch for 
 each act ; but first ready, first served, should be the rule 
 for precedence at tables and washstands, unless otherwise 
 ruled by the Manager. Each actor should prepare him- 
 self, as far as possible, towards his make up at his own 
 station, then finish off at a dressing-table, when the Acting 
 and Stage Managers should give the finishing touches, 
 before each scene. 
 
 It is judicious to commence a performance with a pro- 
 logue, apologetic for any shortcomings that might arise in 
 an Amateur Company, as it takes the sting out of those 
 persons who pride themselves on being dramatic critics. 
 Here is a very good one, written by Lord Byron : 
 
 A PROLOGUE. 
 
 To-night no veteran Roscii ye behold, \ 
 
 In all the arts of scenic action old ; 
 
 2\To Cooke, no Kernble can salute you here, 
 
 ~8o Siddons draw the sympathetic tear ; 
 
 To-night ye throng to witness the dehut 
 
 Of embryo actors, to the Drama new : 
 
 Ere, then, our almost unfledged wings we try, 
 
 Clip not our pinions ere the bird can fly ; 
 
 Failing in this our first attempt to soar, 
 
 Drooping, alas ! we fall to rise no more. 
 
 K"ot one poor trembler only fear betrays, 
 
 "Who hopes, yet almost dreads, to meet your praise, 
 
 But all our dramatis persona} wait 
 
 In fond suspense the crisis of their fate. 
 
PREPARING FOR THE PERFORMANCE. 75 
 
 No penal views our progress can retard; 
 Tour generous plaudits are our sole reward ; 
 For these each hero all his power displays, 
 Each timid heroine shrinks before your gaze. 
 
 The following will also be found generally appropriate : 
 AN OCCASIONAL PROLOGUE. 
 
 The stoic's plan is futile, which requires 
 
 Our wants supplied by lopping our desires. 
 
 As well by this vague scheme might we propose, 
 
 Cut off your feet, 'twill save the price of shoes. 
 
 As well might we, thus courting public favor, 
 
 To gain your plaudits lop off all endeavor. 
 
 The thought we spurn: be it our constant aim 
 
 By assiduity to gain a name, 
 
 Your approbation points the road to fame ; 
 
 Each effort use, nor e'er a moment pause, 
 
 To reap that golden harvest — your applause. 
 
 Sweet is the balm which Hope's kind aid bestows, 
 
 To lighten grief, or mitigate our woes; 
 
 To raise desponding merit, banish fear, 
 
 And from the trembler wipe the falling tear; 
 
 To diffidence inspire, it's dread beguile, 
 
 And doubt extinguish with a cheering smile ; 
 
 That task be yours. My co-mates with some dread, 
 
 Depute me here, their willing cause to plead; 
 
 Tour fiat must our future fates control, 
 
 For here our chief has " garner'd up his soul ;" 
 
 Eager to please, his throbbing heart beats high, 
 
 By you depress'd, or swelled to ecstasy ; 
 
 Then bid the phantom Fear at once depart, 
 
 And rapture revel in his anxious heart. 
 
 A PROLOGUE. 
 
 The Court's assembled — no grave court of law, 
 "With critic ears for every verbal flaw, 
 But a gay group, whose members every one 
 Have vowed allegiance to immortal Fun. 
 We shall not cite a Marshall or a Kent 
 
76 PREPARING FOR THE PERFORMANCE. 
 
 For musty rule or solemn precedent ; 
 Our pleasant pleas on inerrier grounds we base, 
 For on your risibles we rest our case. 
 Mirth is our client, and our action lies 
 Against the demons of the realm of sighs. 
 These we would nonsuit, and to gain our cause 
 "We only ask, for verdict, your applause ! 
 Smile on our efforts then, our zeal 'twill fan, 
 And throw a laugh in, sometimes, if you can. 
 "We're up for trial — may the comic elves 
 Help us work credit to acquit ourselves. 
 Friends are our audience — not sardonic pokes, 
 Who make a practice of dissecting jokes, 
 And " accent," "gesture," "attitude," discuss, 
 They chill our efforts, just to make a fuss. 
 Good-natured faces on all sides we see, 
 Ready to titter at each Jew d'esprit, 
 And knowing these to genial hearts akin 
 We'll close our prologue, and at once begin. 
 
 A PROLOGUE. 
 
 "Lend me your ears !" cried wiped-out Caesar's chum 
 Ere he began the Forum's crowd to hum, 
 And at the word each gaping Roman there 
 Prepared to get Mark's Bunkum through his hair. 
 Now we, as orators, are far below 
 Will Shakspeare's mark — Mark Antony, you know, 
 Nor can we hope to " stir you up," as he 
 Stirred up old Rome to "rise in mutiny;" 
 Yet, if to lend your ears you can afford, 
 We promise this much — they shall not be bored. 
 
 The deeper passions to awake and soothe, 
 Like stormy Forrest or pathetic Booth, 
 Is not our object. Royal Denmark's ghost, 
 Come up to cool from its protracted roast ; 
 Dickering King Dick, who, as a last resource, 
 Offers to swap his kingdom for a horse ; 
 The noble chief, with skin of copper dye, 
 
PREPARING FOR THE PERFORMANCE. 77 
 
 "Who'd sooner scalp his grandmother than " lie ;" 
 The Lake of Como humbug, Claude Melnotte, 
 "Who lied as fast as Bonner's team can trot ; 
 Macbeth, Othello, Romeo, the Jew 
 That for a human steak staked money due, 
 Find in our mirthful repertoire no place— 
 "We leave such roles to men of solemn face, 
 Content life's merrier features to portray, 
 And make you cackle with a comic lay. 
 
 Prologues, upon the whole, are tedious things, 
 Much like the tuning of a fiddle's strings 
 Before the bow across the catgut sweeps, 
 And from each chord the living music leaps. 
 "We must not stretch beyond the measure due, 
 Lest, stretching it, we stretch your patience too. 
 
 A few last words : If there are critics here, 
 
 "We trust they're far too generous to sneer. 
 
 "We are not actors ; quite unknown to fame, 
 
 Domestic pastime only is our aim ; 
 
 So, if we fail in emphasis or tone, 
 
 Don't, we beseech you, snub us with a groan, 
 
 But at each pause — our fluttering nerves to calm — 
 
 Give us, whatever our deserts, the palm. 
 
 When theatrical arrangements have been made for only 
 «i single evening's entertainment, it is highly appropriate to 
 commence the play with a prologue and close with an 
 epilogue ; but when an amateur company propose to give 
 a series of regular performances, the prologue should be 
 used to inaugurate the first or opening night, and the 
 epilogue deferred until the close of the final entertainment 
 at the end of the season. In this case the epilogue may 
 consist of a short address, delivered by the Manager or a 
 leading actor, introducing appropriate allusions to the 
 preceding performances, and including thanks to the audi- 
 ence for their indulgent attention and support. In default 
 of this, one of the following might be substituted : 
 
78 PREPARING FOR THE PERFORMANCE. 
 
 EPILOGUE. ' 
 The wittiest thoughts in aptest words expressed, 
 Lose, ill-recited, half their pith and zest. 
 Perchance to night we've dished— in double sense — 
 The dainties rare of Wit and Eloquence ; 
 If so, excuse the Cooks who, inexpert, 
 Have failed to give to Genius its desert. 
 
 "We've done our best; but amateurs, of course, 
 Misdrive, sometimes, the Muses' frisky horse, 
 And upset all, despite the counsel sage 
 That Hamlet gave to regulate the stage. 
 If thus we've erred, our entertainment o'er, 
 Tell us our faults — the audience has the floor. 
 We're not thin-skinned, advice we do not spurn, 
 Our part is played — so Critics take your turn ! 
 
 You've laughed — that's something — but our want of skill 
 
 May have amused you — that's a bitter pill, 
 
 So we'll decline the mortifying dose, 
 
 And that we really tickled you suppose ; 
 
 Thankful, at least, our efforts to supply 
 
 Suggestions mirthful, did not make you cry ! 
 
 "Mirth," Milton cried, "admit me to thy crew;" 
 We follow Milton's lead, and say so too. 
 Accepting bounty from her magic hand, 
 Enlisted soldiers in her corps we stand, 
 And, ere we stack our arms, and say good night, 
 With hearts untroubled and with spirits light, 
 Let us proclaim — and join us all who choose — 
 War, endless war, against Mirth's foe — the Blues ! 
 
 Our blasts, as trumpeters to Humor's train, 
 We've blown, and come at last to the refrain, 
 Which, though perhaps by all the rest surpassed, 
 Has this transcendent merit — 'tis the last! 
 
 EPILOGUE. 
 Ladies and Gentlemen: I'm supposed to be 
 The humble spokesman of our Company. 
 In that capacity I stand here now 
 
PEEPAEING FOR THE PERFORMANCE. 79 
 
 To make before you all our final bow. 
 
 These closing moments wo regr.et. — My friends, 
 
 The play is o'er, our short-lived glory ends. 
 
 !N"o longer gorgeously arrayed 
 
 As sighing lover, or as bashful maid, 
 
 Or tyrant guardian vetoing every plan, 
 
 Or trickster sly, or any other man; 
 
 "We— ceasing from our plots and mimic strife — 
 
 Resume our humble walks of daily life, 
 
 And feel that, after so much toil and fuss, 
 
 From the sublime to the ridiculous 
 
 There's but one step. That step we're taking now; 
 
 The Rubicon is passed, and you'll allow 
 
 That if we've not succeeded in our parts- 
 
 We lay our hands upon our aching hearts, 
 
 And beg your mercy — we have done our best, 
 
 And, if the fact must truly be confessed, 
 
 Our best was not so very bad. We've struggled hard 
 
 To gain your approbation ; don't discard 
 
 Our humble efforts. [Confidentially.] Here I think I'll pause, 
 
 To hear one round of genuine applause. 
 
 [The applause is supposed to come in here.] 
 Ah ! That was cheering ; given with a will ; 
 Received with many thanks. It sent a thrill 
 Of gratitude for your encouragement 
 Right through our hearts. We now are quite content 
 To lean upon your generosity ; 
 "We feel like generals who have won a fight ; 
 And, not to be guilty of verbosity, 
 "We'll close these few remarks — 
 
 My friends — good night. 
 An excellent epilogue for the close of a juvenile perform- 
 ance is given here. 
 
 EPILOGUE. 
 Our parts are perform'd and our acting is ended — 
 
 We are lovers and villains and heroes no more ; 
 To a much humbler station again we've descended, 
 
 And are now boys and girls, as you've known us before. 
 
fifi SELECTION OF PLATS. 
 
 Farewell then our greatness — 'twas as fiction, not fact, 
 
 'Tis gone — but remembrance will often retrace 
 The indulgent applause which rewarded each act, 
 
 And the heart-cheering smiles that enliven'd each face. 
 
 We thank you ! — Our gratitude words cannot tell 
 
 But deeply we feel it — to you it belongs; 
 With heartfelt emotion we bid you farewell, 
 
 And our feelings now thank you much more than our tongues. 
 
 We will strive to improve, since your plaudits thus cheer us, 
 As we faiu would believe that you think we've done well ; 
 
 And we hope to convince you the next time you hear us, 
 That praise has but sharpened our wish to excel. 
 
 SELECTION OF PLAYS. 
 
 When a professional Manager decides on producing any 
 particular piece, he selects his performers to suit the 
 play ; the Amateur Manager, on the contrary, is generally 
 obliged to select his play to suit his performers, and this is 
 not always an easy matter. 
 
 To smooth over this difficulty as far as possible, a short 
 list of plays will be found in another part of this book 
 which are well suited for Amateur performance ; the dram- 
 atis persona of each are given, with the nature of the 
 characters to be assumed. 
 
 The two following short comediettas are translated from 
 the German, and introduced as particularly applicable for 
 parlor performance. They contain but few characters, and 
 require nothing in the way of scenery, properties and cos- 
 tumes but what are to be foimd in every dwelling house. 
 The first piece is marked with the entrance plots to corre- 
 spond with the Manager's directions on page 72. 
 
 A FAMILY FIX. 
 Characters. , 
 Mr. Jones — An old Gentleman. 
 Mrs. Catherine Jones— An old Lady, Jones' Wife. 
 Emma— Their Daughter. 
 
A FAMILY FIX. 81 
 
 Alfred— Emma's Husband. 
 H enry — Man-servant. 
 Eliza — "Waiting-maid. 
 
 Costumes. 
 Mr. and Mrs. Jones. — Plain walking-dress, gray wigs. 
 Emma. — Tasty morning wrapper, or neat morning dress. 
 Alfred. — Plain dress, or morning wrapper and slippers. 
 Henry and Eliza. — In appropriate servants' dress. 
 
 Properties. —Sofa ; chairs ; breakfast table ; white table-cloth ; 
 plates, cups, etc., for four persons ; side table, newspapers and 
 books ; two covered dishes ; two shawls ; napkin for Henry 
 
 Scene. 
 A dining-room, with table laid for breakfast for four persons. 
 Left, a work-table and sofa. Right, a small table with news- 
 papers, etc. (In laying a table for four, arrange it so that two are 
 seated facing the audience, and one at each end, so that no one 
 need turn his back to the audience.) 
 
 (Henry is busy arranging the breakfast-table, placing the chairs, 
 etc., humming a tune.) 
 
 
 
 Eliza {outside). Henry ! Henry ! Open the door ! 
 Henry {opening the door, centre). Open it is- 
 
 {Enter Eliza, carrying a plate of eatables in each hand, with 
 which she advances towards the table.) 
 
 Henry. Come ; let me help you. {Takes one of the plates from 
 her with one hand, puts tlie other around her waist and kisses Jier 
 on the cheek.) 
 
 Eliza. Oh, Henry! If any one saw you ! {Puts plate on table.) 
 
 Henry. Who should see us, then ? {Puts his plate down.) 
 
 Eliza. Master might come at any moment. 
 
 Henry. Ah ! {Pubs Ms hands.) A kiss snatched as we go — on 
 the wing, as it were — has such a flavor ! (Smacks his lips.) 
 
 Eliza. But if master — 
 
 Henry. And suppose he did see it ; what's the odds ? 
 
 Eliza. I should sink down for very shame. 
 
 Henry. Why so ? He kisses his wife, I suppose — only married 
 three months. 
 
82 A FAMILY FIX. 
 
 Eliza. His wife— yes. That's all very well. Now, if yon were 
 my husband — 
 
 Henry (tenderly). How soon shall it be? 
 
 Eliza. Ah I who knows? 
 
 Henry (with his arm around her waist). Any way, not as soon 
 as we want it to be. Eh? 
 
 Eliza (releasing herself). Pretty talk, indeed ! Attend to the 
 table, now. (They both complete the table- arrangements.) 
 
 (Alfred enters, out partially retires, iinobsemed, and listens.) 
 
 Eliza. The old folks are coming to breakfast. They are a nice 
 old couple ; ain't they ? 
 
 Henry. Yes ; and how pleased they are to see the young people 
 so happy. I'm sorry I can't supply you with a father-in-law. 
 
 Eliza. That's no matter. If or can I — 
 
 Henry. Oh, we shall be all-sufficient for one another. "We 
 shall get along just as well without fathers-in-law or mothers-in- 
 law. (Gravely.) Thank Heaven, the table is laid! 
 
 Eliza. Yes. 
 
 Henry. What? 
 
 Eliza. Oh, nothing ! I said yes. 
 
 Henry. That is not enough ; you should say the same. 
 
 Eliza. "What, then? 
 
 Henry. Thank Heaven, the table is laid ! 
 
 Eliza. What! I? What for? 
 
 Henry. Oh ! it is only right and proper. 
 
 Eliza. Go along with your nonsense I 
 
 Henry. "When any one has finished what he is about, he should 
 always say, " I'm glad," or " I'm thankful/' or " Thank Heaven, so 
 and so is done !" 
 
 Eliza. What a silly notion ! 
 
 Henry. It is not nonsense ; it is no silly notion. When the 
 world was created, and the beasts and the monkeys, and lastly, 
 Adam, he looked around liim, and seeing the difference between 
 himself and the other monkeys, he said, "Thank Heaven that I am 
 a man \" It is only right that when we have accomplished anything 
 we should feel thankful, and say that we are so. 
 
 Eliza. I believe you are getting crazy ! 
 
 Henry. Eliza ! It is not craziness ; you are worse than a hea- 
 then. (Softly.) Come here, now, and say as I do, " Thank 
 Heaven, the table is laid ! n 
 
A FAMILY FIX 83 
 
 Eliza. No. 
 
 Henry. Just to please me. 
 
 Eliza. I won't, now ! 
 
 Henry {earnestly). Ton will not! 
 
 Eliza. No, indeed ! 
 
 Henry. When I ask you to oblige me, yon say you won't ? 
 
 Eliza. Yes, sir ! If I won't, I won't ; not if you begged me 
 ten times over ! 
 
 Henry. What! Did you say I might ask you ten times, and 
 you would refuse ? 
 
 Eliza. Certainly, if you want me to do any such nonsense. 
 . ■ . It *s n-'t &9«&e»8e : '■ut that iMfi "nothing to do with it. 
 . houH say it, simply beqaase I abk you to do so. 
 
 Eliza. I am not going to. \ 
 
 Husky IreproachfuUy). Eliza! 
 
 Eliz l (in the same manner). Henry ! 
 
 Henry (with determination). Now you have got to say it! 
 
 Eliza. I must? 
 
 Henry. Yes ; I demand it. 
 
 Eliza. You must be dreaming ; perhaps you got out of the 
 wrong side of your bed this morning. 
 
 Henry. Don't be absurd ! I am in earnest. You have only to 
 Bay, " Thank Heaven, the table is laid \ h 
 
 Eliza (saucily). Have I got to say that ft 
 
 Henry. Yes. 
 
 Eliza. I have got to ? I must, eh? 
 
 Henry. Y ou must and shall. 
 
 Eliza. Now I shan't say it at all! 
 
 Henry (sorrowfully). Eliza, I beg you. 
 
 Eliza. I shall not. 
 
 HenrxI For the last time, I beg you. \ 
 
 ! rxi't ! I won't!- L won't ! No, not if you stand oti 
 
 Henry, V\ e'll see, anyhow. 
 
 Eliza (folding her arms). We'll see. 
 
 ® Henry. So ; you will not yield ? You choose to be ob- 
 stinate f 
 Eliza. Yes. 
 
84 A FAMILY FIX. 
 
 Henry. You won't ? 
 
 Eliza. No! {Stamps her foot) Have done, now . 
 
 Henry. "Well, I'll make you. {Seizes her by both wrists and 
 squeezes them.) 
 
 Eliza. Oh ! oh ! You hurt me ! 
 
 Henry. Say it. 
 
 Eliza. No. Oh! {Screams.) 
 
 Henry {dictating to her). Thank Heaven, the table is laid. 
 
 Eliza. No, no ! {Slips away from him ; hits him on the hand 
 and blows on her wrists.) You wretch! to squeeze me so. I 
 won't say it, now ; there ! 
 
 Henry. Indeed ! Well, it is all over between us. 
 
 Eliza. I don't care. You may go. 
 
 Henry. You give me up so lightly ? 
 
 Eliza. If you want to act like a luney. 
 
 Henry {beseechingly). "Why can't you say those few words ? 
 
 Eliza. Just because I don't choose. I won't ; and that's an 
 end of it. 
 i. Henry {excitedly). I just tell you what it is— {Bell rings, left. ) 
 
 Eliza. "We'll see to this another time. {Goes left.) 
 
 Henry {following and catching hold of her dress). Eliza! 
 Thank Heaven, the — 
 
 Eliza {pushing him away). No ! {Exit, left.) 
 
 Henry. Stubbornness, thy name is woman! You may beg, 
 pray, use force— all. in vain. I do believe you might kill her be- 
 fore she would say it. 
 
 {Enter Alfred, laughing.) 
 
 Alfred. For the present spare her life, Henry, whether she 
 says it or not. 
 
 Henry {confusedly). Oh ! sir ; did you overhear — 
 • Alfred. A part of your quarrel? Yes. That girl has a 
 pretty strong will of her own. 
 
 Henry. Generally she is so good-natured. I cannot conceive 
 what ails her to-day. 
 
 Alfred. Yes, indeed ! It would take a pretty smart man to 
 find out always what ails the women. But go ; bring a bottle of 
 Madeira ; my father-in-law likes a glass after breakfast. 
 
 Henry {going off, muttering). She shall say it ! She shall ! 
 {Exit,) 
 
A FAMILY FIX. 85 
 
 Alfred {looking left), I wonder if she is dressed yet. I 
 heard her ring. Ah ! here she comes. 
 
 (Enter Emma, left.) 
 
 Emma. Good morning, Hubby. 
 
 Alfred {embracing her). My dear Emma. 
 
 Emma. Did you sleep well ? 
 
 Alfred. Splendidly ! The happy always sleep well. 
 
 Emma. And you are happy? « 
 
 Alfred. Can you ask ? Are you not my wife ? 
 
 Emma. Flatterer! {Archly.) You should give up all that sort of 
 thing. We have been married three months. It is time you be- 
 haved more like a husband and less like a lover. 
 
 Alfred. And you wish it so ? 
 
 Emma. How can you ask ? But every one says that the men 
 alter considerably after marriage, and so, I suppose, I must pre- 
 pare for it. The longer you put off this change, the more you 
 will spoil me, and the harder it will seem to me. 
 
 Alfred. You shall find no change in me, dear wife. You 
 shall never have to complain of any difference in me. 
 
 Emma. I will never give you any cause for it. 
 
 Alfred. You are the best little wife in the world. You an- 
 ticipate my wishes before I utter them. 
 
 Emma. And don't you do so too ? 
 
 Alfred. How can I withstand your bright eyes — when you 
 look so lovingly — as if inviting a kiss. {Bends to kiss her.) 
 
 Emma (repulsing him). Please to understand that my eyes 
 never invite a kiss ; they only submit to it sometimes. 
 
 Alfred. Ah ! then submit now. 
 
 Emma (embracing him). Dear Alfred ! 
 
 Alfred. Dear wifey ! 
 
 Emma (sitting at table, left, and taking tip her needle-work). 
 The old folks are late. I expected them before this. 
 
 Alfred (sitting by her). Do you miss them very much ? 
 
 Emma. "What a thoughtless question ! 
 
 Alfred. No, no. I did not mean it in that way. (Pause; 
 then laughs.) Oh ! just now — (Laughs heartily.) 
 
 Emma. What was just now ? It must have been very amus- 
 ing. 
 
 Alfred. I overheard such a funny thing ! 
 
86 A FAMILY FIX. 
 
 Emma. Overheard ! "Where, then ? 
 
 Alfred [still laughing). Quite by accident— as I came out of 
 my room — I heard voices in earnest conversation ; so I stopped 
 and listened. Henry and Eliza had just laid the table, and Henry 
 said, with the greatest fervor, " Thank Heaven, the table is laid !" 
 and wanted Eliza to say the same, telling her that we should 
 always say so when we have finished anything we undertake. 
 
 Emma. How absurd ! 
 
 Alfred. Eliza demurred, Henry insisted, and they had a regu- 
 lar quarrel. He tried to compel her to say it, but she obstinately 
 refused. 
 
 Emma. Then he was as obstinate as she was. I do not see 
 much to choose between them on that point. 
 
 Alfred. It was simply a request on his part. 
 
 Emma. But a most absurd request. 
 
 Alfred. And scarcely any reason for her being so stiff-necked 
 about it. 
 
 Emma {earnestly). Not a bit more stiff-necked than Henry 
 was in insisting. I really cannot see that Eliza was in the 
 wrong. 
 
 Alfred (laughing). We need not discuss the matter. Such a 
 thing could never happen to us. (Emma looks up archly at him.) 
 If I were to ask you such a trifle, you would do it without a 
 moment's hesitation. 
 
 Emma {laughing). Ha, ha ! 
 
 Alfred (seriously). I am satisfied you would do it. 
 
 Emma. But suppose I didn't? 
 
 Alfred. Suppose you didn't ! Oh ! it is not to be supposed for 
 an instant. I would bet odds against it. 
 
 Emma. I don't think the bet would be a safe one. 
 
 Alfred. Let us try. 
 
 Emma. Oh, no ! Let us dismiss the subject. 
 
 Alfred. I ask you, dear Emma, just to say, "Thank Heaven, 
 the table is laid ! " 
 
 Emma. Go away ! How childish ! 
 
 Alfred (beseechingly). Please say it. 
 
 Emma (inwardly struggling). "WTiat a thing to ask ! 
 
 Alfred. Please, dearest wifey, say, just once, " Thank Heaven, 
 the table is laid J" 
 
A FAMILY FIX. 87 
 
 Emma (gently). No ; I do not wish to say it. 
 
 Alfred. Let me beg of you ! 
 
 Emma (more resolutely). No, no ! 
 
 Alfred (astonished). Yon refuse ? 
 
 Emma (decidedly). Yes, sir i 
 
 Alfred. Can you refuse me ? 
 
 Emma. It is such a silly thing to say ! . 
 
 Alfred (rising). Silly or not silly, that has nothing to do with 
 it. It is simply a matter of fulfilling my wishes. 
 
 Emma. You should not ask me to do such an absurdity. 
 
 Alfred. That may be, but you are wrong to refuse. 
 
 Emma (rising, indignantly). So I am wrong ? That is the first 
 time you ever said so. 
 
 Alfred. It is the first time you have disappointed me. 
 
 Emma. It is the first time you ever made such a childish, in- 
 considerate request. 
 
 Alfred. Childish ! Inconsiderate I "What do I hear ? Is that 
 the voice of love t 
 
 Emma. Love never demands absurdities. 
 
 Alfred. Oh ! I did not demand. I requested it. 
 
 Emma (with empJiasis). Indeed! And suppose you demanded it? 
 
 Alfred. Then — (Hesitates.) 
 
 Emma (still more emphatically). And suppose you demanded it ? 
 
 Alfred (after a pause), Then I am sure you would comply 
 at once. 
 
 Emma (firmly). I should just exactly not comply. 
 
 Alfred. "What? 
 
 Emma, You presume to lay your commands upon me ? You 
 Wish to conquer me ? I might possibly have complied with a re- 
 quest, but obey a command — never I (Bings.) 
 
 Alfred. Just see how excited you are ! How you set yourself 
 up against me ! Is that the tone a wife should assume with her 
 husband f 
 
 Emma, Ought a husband to treat his wife in such a ridiculous 
 manner 
 
 {Enter Eliza, centre.) 
 
 Emma (to Eliza). I have forgotten my pocket-handkerchief, 
 {Exit "Eliza, left.) 
 
88 A FAMILY FIX. 
 
 Alfred. Emma, do not make such a serious matter of this. 
 It commenced in a mere joke. 
 
 Emma. 1 have done nothing of the kind. You turned the joke 
 into earnest. (Seats herself to worlc again, her baclc to Alfred, 
 who snatches and opens a newspaper, and sits down at a distance 
 from her). 
 
 (Henry enters, centre, with a bottle of wine, which he puts om 
 the table. Eliza enters, left; gives handkerchief to Emma, t 
 and is going off, centre. ) 
 
 Henry (aside, to Eliza). "Will you say it now 1 
 (Eliza refuses by gesture and exit. Henry exit, centre, sor- 
 rowfully.) 
 
 Alfred (laying his paper down, going a step or two toward 
 Emma, and speaking softly). Have you thought it over ? "Will 
 you give up your obstinacy ? 
 
 Emma {throwing down her work). "What! Obstinacy? You 
 know I cannot bear that word. I am not obstinate. You are 
 obstinate in insisting on such a piece of folly. 
 
 Alfred. But, Emma, consider. The folly has nothing to do 
 with the case ; I simply wish you to do as I ask you, 
 
 Emma. And I simply wish you to drop the subject. 
 
 Alfred. But my request was the first one made, and should 
 take the precedence. I could never have believed that you would 
 have said "no" to me. I can hardly believe it yet. 
 
 Emma. Indeed! I must never say " no," always "yes, yes." 
 Just like the men ! You don't seek for a loving wife, a consider- 
 ate friend. ~Eo. You men all want to make your wives your slaves. 
 
 Alfred. "What an exaggeration ! 
 
 Emma. Not a bit. That's the way the subjection begins — with 
 blind obedience. I will never be made a slave of— never ! I will 
 defend my rights with my last breath. I will not submit to com- 
 pulsion or force. 
 
 Alfred (sarcastically). "I promise to love, honor and obey ;" 
 so says the marriage-service. 
 
 Emma. You see I was right. You want to be the master ; I 
 am to be the slave. Your right is to command ; my duty is to 
 obey. Oh ! I will allow you to be master — as I onght — in all 
 sensible matters ; but when you begin with absurdities, no, sir ! 
 Not much ! 
 
A FAMILY FIX. 89 
 
 Alfred. Those are not exactly the expressions to use to any 
 one for whom you have the least respect. 
 
 Emma. Those are not the kind of requests to make of a wife 
 for whom you have the least regard. 
 
 Alfred. But in joke — 
 
 Emma. Oh ! your joke was soon turned into bitter earnest. 
 ( Cries. ) Not a quarter of an hour ago you said you would never 
 change, and now you speak to me like a cold, hard-hearted^ 
 husband, who looks down on his wife as if she were a school- 
 girl. 
 
 Alfred (struggling with himself). Do not cry. Ton know that 
 tears unman me. 
 
 Emma (soiling). I cannot help my tears, when you cause 
 them. 
 
 Alfred. Gracious ! "What a monster I must be ! I make you 
 cry ! Poor wife, how I pity your misfortune in being tied for life 
 to such a monster ! 
 
 Emma. That's right. Add insult to injury ! An hour ago I 
 could not have believed this. I got up so full of spirits. (Sols.) 
 I felt so happy ! (Sols.) And now— (Cries Utterly.) 
 
 Alfred (ironically). There never was such a miserable wife! 
 That's what you mean, is it not ? Out with it ! (Aside.) Those 
 confounded tears! When the old folks- come, what will they 
 think? (Strives to command himself . Aloud.) Emma! Emma! 
 Wife, darling! Come ; let us make peace ! 
 
 Emma (looking over her handkerchief). Peace ! 
 
 Alfred. It is absurd of us to spoil this beautiful morning. 
 
 Emma (softly). You begin to think so ? 
 
 Alfred. No one in the world has less cause for disagreement 
 than we have. 
 
 Emma (pouting). And still you try me so hard ! 
 
 Alfred. Now, come ; I will meet you half way. Let us shake 
 hands in token of reconciliation. (Advances and extends his right 
 hand.) 
 
 Emma (slowly taking his hand). Tou bad fellow, to worry me* 
 so ! 
 
 Alfred (drawing her close to him, and embracing her coaxing- 
 ly). And now for my sake, just say, "Thank — " 
 
 Emm a (releasing herself quickly). What! Again? 
 
90 A FAMILY FIX. 
 
 Alfred. Ton will not ? 
 
 Emma (persuasively). But, Alfred — 
 
 Alfred. I have done my half. I offered you my hand. Now 
 yon surely ought to do the rest. 
 
 Emma, You stick to it still ? Do you want to have the trouble 
 all over again ? 
 
 ©Alfred. You can end the trouble in a moment. Only 
 say the words, and I am satisfied. 
 
 Emma (pouts and hesitates. TJien decidedly.) No, no! Not 
 if you ask me till doomsday. 
 
 Alfred. No? 
 
 Emma. No ! {Folds her arms in defiance.) 
 
 Alfred (becoming more and more excited). All right! Yery 
 fine ! You see that I find gratification in a mere trifle. You re- 
 fuse to do it. My wish may be a foolish one, but you will not 
 fulfill it. It may even be obstinate in me to insist on such a tri- 
 fling point. If you really loved me you would yield, rather than 
 increase my obstinacy ; but you won't. The words are nothing 
 in themselves. The utterance of them was simply a proof of 
 your affection for me, and I lay great stress on the little proofs of 
 love ; but you would give me no proof. I asked you, I begged, I 
 entreated, I commanded you, I tried in every reasonable manner ; 
 but you remain obstinate. And you profess to love me ! Your 
 desire to gratify your selfish obstinacy is too great to allow you 
 to do the smallest favor for your husband. Never tell me again 
 that you love me. Humbug ! 
 
 Emma {indignantly). Tfhat right have you to accuse me of 
 "obstinacy ? You admit, yourself, that it was absurd to ask me to 
 repeat a few meaningless words, and still you would compel me 
 to do an absurdity. It is degrading for any one to commit a folly, 
 and yet you insist on my degradation. Do you call that love ? 
 You see that your conduct distresses me, (sobbing) that you are 
 making me miserable; but you don't care a straw about that; 
 you only want to have your own way. Your unkindness brings 
 the tears into my eyes, you look coolly on; you see my entire 
 existence rebels against your foil} 7 ", but you only care to bend me 
 to your will. I should like to know on which side is the obsti- 
 nacy, the want of affection ? 
 
A FAMILY FIX. 91 
 
 [Enter Henry.) 
 
 Henry {announcing). Mr. and Mrs. Jones ! (Stands at table, 
 ready to wait) 
 
 Alfred [gently, to Emma). Dry your eyes. What will the 
 old folks think ? 
 
 Emma (wiping her eyes). For aught I care, they may know all 
 about it. I am not to blame. 
 
 Alfred. It is your duty, as the lady of the house, to welcome 
 your guests with a cheerful countenance. (Goes to meet the old 
 folk's, Emma following him.) 
 
 (Enter, centre, Mr. and Mrs. Jones, followed by Eliza, who 
 remains just inside the door.) 
 
 Jones. Good morning, my children, good morning ! "Well, how 
 are you ? 
 
 Alfred (giving his hand). Tou are most heartily welcome ! 
 [Takes Jones' hat and cane.) 
 
 Emma (embracing Mrs. Jones). "Welcome, dear mother ! 
 (Extends her hand to Jones.) And you too, dear father ! 
 
 Mrs. Jones. Aye, aye, my child ! I haven't seen you for quite 
 a long time. What has come of you ? 
 
 Emma. Dear mother, you know — 
 
 Mrs. Jones. All right, Emma ; I know why. A newly-mar- 
 ried wife has plenty else to think of besides her old mother. 
 
 Jones. That's the way, the world over, wife ; but Emma 
 thinks of us once in a while. Isn't it so, daughter ? 
 
 .Emma. I am always thinking of you, dear father. 
 
 Alfred (embarrassed, watching Emma anxiously, who avoids 
 his looks). Come ; let us take our seats. 
 
 Jones. With pleasure, my son. It is a good way for us to 
 come, and I have brought a good appetite with me. (They seat 
 themselves; Mrs. Jones between Alfred and Emma. Eliza 
 lifts a dish-cover and retires. ) 
 
 Henry (taking hold of Eliza, and dictating to her). Thank 
 Heav — 
 
 Eliza (slapping his hand). Get away with you.! (Exit, 
 centre.) 
 
 Jones (with glass in hand). Ha ! ha ! Wife, you've got be- 
 tween the young folks. That's very sensible of you. If they sat 
 together they would soon lose sight of their guests. Come, 
 
92 A FAMILY FIX. 
 
 children ; here's to many more happy meetings between ns. 
 (Drinks. Alfred takes his glass and hesitates; Emma wipes 
 away a fear.) What's the matter with you? You don't drink. 
 Alfred with a face as long as my arm, and Emma with a tear 
 standing in her eye! (Laughs.) "What! a matrimonial jar 
 already ? (Alfred signs to Henry off. Exit Henry, centre.) 
 
 Mrs. Jones. What a question to ask ! Let the young folks ex- 
 plain. 
 
 Alfred. Oh ! a mere trifle, a joke, not worth mentioning. My 
 dear Emma is a little bit too sensitive. 
 
 Emma (bursting into tears). And that, too, besides all the rest; 
 I am touchy ! 
 
 Alfred. You might, at least, in the presence of our parents — 
 
 Mrs. Jones. Keep quiet, Emma ; these things will happen 
 sometimes. 
 
 Emma. I know I am wrong in not controlling myself better. I 
 have tried, and struggled hard; but I have been too deeply 
 offended. 
 
 Mrs. Jones. Ah ! How is this, Alfred ? 
 
 Jones. Stop that, old lady ; don't you meddle with matters 
 that don't concern you. 
 
 Alfred (with emotion). From the way Emma puts it, one 
 would think we had had a pitched battle. You shall decide for 
 yourselves. I will tell you all about it. 
 
 Jones. It is not worth while. We do not want to interfere in 
 your little matrimonial difficulties. (Eats energetically.) 
 
 Alfred. Indeed it is. I should like to have your opinion in 
 the matter. 
 
 Jones. That's not worth much, anyhow. 
 
 Alfred. Could you believe — 
 
 Jones. We don't believe anything. 
 
 Mrs. Jones. Let him go on. We may be able to smooth down 
 the little difficulty. Proceed, Alfred. 
 
 Alfred.' This morning I overheard our Henry trying to per- 
 suade Eliza to say, " Thank Heaven, the table is laid !" and they 
 had a regular quarrel because she refused to say it. I told Emma 
 this as a good joke, and eoaxingly said to her that she could 
 never be so obstinate as Eliza was. Then, just for fun, I asked 
 her to say the same phrase. She actually refused, and that, too, 
 
A FAMILY FIX. 93 
 
 with such determined obstinacy, that it led to some words be- 
 tween us. 
 
 Emma (sobbing). Now ; you hear him ? Obstinacy ! touchy ! 
 Pretty words he throws at me! You know, I am sure, that I 
 never was the least bit obstinate. 
 
 Jones (doubtiugly). H'rn ! H'm ! Well, not so very. 
 
 Mrs. Jones [earnestly). No, husband; you don't do Emma jus- 
 tice. She never was obstinate. (To Emma.) Dry your eyes, 
 child. We won't interfere. You will soon make it up again. 
 
 Emma. But he still insists on my repeating it, word for word. 
 
 Mrs. Jones (astonished). What ! Alfred ! You still insist ? 
 
 Alfred (embarrassed). Oh ! Please drop the subject. 
 
 Jones (good-naturedly). That's much the best ; you spoil my 
 breakfast. You, Emma, and you, Alfred, are a pair of fools. My 
 son, you must not always take notice of a young wife's whim j 
 she will soon get used to all that, like my wife there. She knows 
 better ; she does as I wish without hesitation. Why ! if I were 
 to ask her to say, "Thank Heaven, the table is laid !" she would 
 say it at once. She's older, and knows better than to raise a fuss 
 about nothing. 
 
 Mrs. Jones (earnestly). But, indeed, I would not say any 
 such thing. 
 
 Jones (surprised). Eh! What? 
 
 Mrs. Jones. You are old enough to know better. You would 
 never ask such an absurd thing. 
 
 Jones. Ah ! But suppose I did ask you ? 
 
 Mrs. Jones. Why — Then — ( Undecided). No, I would not. 
 
 Jones (half laughing, half serious). Why, wife, you surely 
 are not in earnest ? 
 
 Mrs. Jones. Indeed, then, I am. 
 
 Jones. You would hesitate to do as I tell you ? 
 
 Mrs. Jones (decidedly). Yes. 
 
 Alfred. Oh ! pray, let us change the subject. 
 
 Jones (thoroughly aroused but not out of temper). No, sir ! I 
 never had this happen before, and it has got to be settled. Dear 
 old wife, just say, "Thank Heaven, the table is laid !" 
 
 Mrs. Jones. Oh, let me alone ! 
 
 Jones. Please say it. 
 
 Mrs. Jones. No. 
 
94 A FAMILY FIX. 
 
 Jones (still good-tempered, but more earnest). I say, every- 
 day, with hearty fervor, when I see a table spread for a meal, 
 " Thank Heaven, the table is laid !" Surely you can say it once. 
 
 Mrs. Jones. 1S t o. 
 
 Emma. Mother, dear ! 
 
 Jones. Catherine ! 
 
 Mrs. Jones (more and more decidedly). No ! 
 
 Jones. Katy! 
 
 Mrs. Jones. No, no ! Just stop your old tongue ! 
 
 Jones. Kitty ! 
 
 Mrs. Jones. I won't ! 
 
 Jones (rising). This is getting serious. Tou surely won't set 
 your daughter a bad example by your obstinacy ? 
 
 Alfred (to Mrs. Jones). Oh! Let me beg of you! 
 
 Mrs. Jones (rising). The old story. The men always take one 
 another's part, when they want the women to submit to them. 
 (To Jones.) "Who ever heard of a father taking part against his 
 own daughter? 
 
 Jones. I take nobody's part but my own. It's no business of 
 mine what my daughter and her husband choose to do ; I have 
 now only to do with you. (To Mrs. Jones.) I want you to repeat 
 the words I told you; just that and no more. 
 
 Mrs. Jones. Tou should be ashamed to tell your wife to do such 
 a stupid thing ; such a — 
 
 Jones. Stupid or not stupid, that's not the question. I do it 
 simply as a trial of your obedience, nothing else ; just as Gessler 
 hung his hat up for the Swiss peasants to salute — simply to test 
 their obedience to his authority. 
 
 Mrs. Jones. Exactly. And as hat-worship was too absurd, 
 too ludicrous, too degrading, the Swiss rebelled against their op- 
 pressors. 
 
 Emma. The Swiss would not submit, and we won't. 
 
 Mrs. Jones. If you men set yourselves up as tyrants, we can 
 rebel too. 
 
 Emma. "We are women, and not slaves. 
 
 Mrs. Jones. If you want female slaves you can go to Turkey — 
 not here. We live in a Christian country. 
 
 Emma (speaking fast and excitedly). I do declare ! The men 
 would like to introduce Turkish manners here. "Wouldn't they 
 like to be Turks? 
 
A FAMILY FIX. 95 
 
 Mrs. Jones [also excitedly). Heaven be praised, we are not 
 slaves yet, and don't mean to be, either ! 
 
 Emma. Blind obedience is nothing else than slavery. 
 
 Mrs. Jones. We want to know whether a command is right 
 before we obey it. 
 
 Emma. And such stupid orders as that we are not going to 
 obey ; no, never ! ■ 
 
 Mrs. Jones. jSTo, indeed ! 
 (During the above, Alfred and Jones have teen trying to get 
 a word in, but without success. Emma and Mrs. Jones 
 now walk about, left, as if in earnest conversation.) 
 
 Jones (aside to Alfred). This is a pretty kettle offish ! We've 
 put our foot in it this time. 
 
 Alfred (aside, to Jones). "What on earth shall we do? 
 
 Jones. My dear fellow, you can do — do just as you please. 
 This business has spoiled my breakfast ; and when I don't have a 
 good, quiet breakfast, it spoils my appetite for dinner too. 
 
 Alfred. It is not possible to give in. 
 
 Jones. In a quarrel like this neither party ever gains anything. 
 I have been quite ruffled. "Why, I believe I nearly lost my temper. 
 (Smiling.) That would never do ; the whole thiug is not worth it. 
 After all, I don't see that the women are altogether wrong. When 
 you come to look at it, it seems just as obstinate on the one side 
 to insist on a meaningless command, as it is on the other side to 
 persistently refuse to obey it. (Takes Alfred aside, right, and ap- 
 pears to further explain the matter to him.) 
 
 Emma (to Mrs. Jones). If I had had the least idea that this 
 thing was going to raise such a bother, I would have treated it as 
 a. joke from the first and done as Alfred wanted, but now it is 
 simply impossible. 
 
 Mrs. Jones. Of course it is. Submission now would involve 
 submission forever. 
 
 Emma. He shall at least see that I have a little firmness in my 
 composition. 
 
 Mrs. Jones. That's right. We won't budge an inch. My old 
 man will have a surprise for once. He'll find that I shan't get 
 over this in a hurry. 
 
 Emma. You will stand by me, won't you, dear mother ? 
 
 Mrs. Jones. There's my hand on it. (Shakes hands, and ap- 
 pears to give Emma advice, pointing occasionally at the men.) 
 
96 A FAMILY FIX. 
 
 Jones (to Alfred). In every quarrel the wisest party is the 
 first to yield. 
 
 Alfred. I would do so with all my heart, but I cannot without 
 loss of principle. 
 
 Jones. Nonsense. So every one says. The act of giving in is 
 a repulsive one; so people call it want of principle. Now the 
 best way for you to get out of this is to end it pleasantly. 
 
 Alfred. End it pleasantly? (Reflecting.) Ah! I have it. I 
 know how exactly. (Buns off quickly, right.) 
 
 Jones (laughing loudly). See here, children, your conspiracy is 
 getting too strong for me. Now I am going to eat my breakfast, 
 and then I can renew the attack with fresh power. (Sits down.) 
 Thank Heaven the table is laid, and we have nothing to do but 
 sit clown and eat ! (Eats.) 
 
 Emma. Dear mother, shall we too ? 
 
 Mrs. Jones. "Why, certainly. I don't see why we should go 
 without our breakfast, because the men are making fools of them- 
 
 Alfred (entering, with two shawls on Ms arm, coaxingly). 
 Dear little wife, let us put an end to the war. Here, let us shake 
 hands and make peace. I will admit that I was the most to 
 blame, and, by way of penalty, I make you a present of one of 
 these shawls. (Unfolds them, and holds out one in each hand.) 
 
 Emma (feeling a little lit ashamed). Alfred, I really do not — 
 
 Alfred. Take your choice. 
 
 Emma. At present I — 
 
 Alfred. Come, come ! Choose now. (Emma, strongly tempted, 
 but against her inclination, points hesitatingly, and glances around 
 at her mother.) "Which shall it be ? This one ? (Alfred holds out 
 a shawl in his right hand. Emma again looks round, doubtingly, 
 at her mother; then turns to Alfred and nods. Alfred lays the 
 other shawl on the side-table, and puts the chosen one on Emma.) 
 There. It becomes you admirably. (Goes in front of her.) Now 
 I have done at least three-quarters of the giving in. "Well ? 
 (Pauses a moment.) Come now. 
 
 Emma (yielding reluctantly). Thank Heaven, — (looks quickly 
 round at her mother, then whispers in Alfred's ear) — the table is 
 laid! (Covers her face with her hands, as if ashamed of her- 
 self.) 
 
A FAMILY FIX. 97 
 
 (Enter Henry, bringing in a dish, which he places on the 
 table, back, and remains there, standing, with napkin on 
 left arm. ) 
 
 Jones. That's right, young folks. Excellently well done. 
 
 Alfred (embracing Emma). It is all ended now ? 
 
 Emma. Forever. 
 
 Alfred. You will never do so again ? 
 
 Emma (lovingly). Never. 
 
 Jones. Good again. Let's drink a bumper to that. 
 
 (Enter Eliza, with basket of fruit, which she puts on the table, 
 back, and remains standing. Henry and she turn their 
 backs on one another, pettishly.) 
 
 Alfred (hands Emma to seat at table; fills glasses. Re, 
 Emma and Jones salute and drink). The treaty of peace is 
 signed, sealed and delivered. (Dri?iks.) 
 
 Mrs. Jones (ivho has been examining tlie shawl on the table, 
 touching Jones on shoulder). Old man — 
 
 Jones (turning round). Eh ? 
 
 Mrs. Jones (pointing at shawl). Look there ! 
 
 Jones. Well, what ? 
 
 Mrs. Jones (slyly). There's another shawl. 
 
 Jones. Yes, I see ; seems to be a very nice shawl, indeed. 
 'Turns round again, and continues eating.) 
 
 Mrs. Jones. Don't you want to pay your penalty, too ? 
 
 Jones (with his mouth full). Me ! with that shawl ? Cost too 
 much ; can't afford it. 
 
 Mrs. Jones. But consider — 
 
 Jones. I expect you to do it cheaper than that, old lady. It's 
 all very well for a newly-married young man to conquer a peace in 
 that way, but when he gets as old as I am he won't be such a 
 simpleton. 
 
 Mrs, Jones. Oh, you miserable old sinner. (Appears to con- 
 tinue scolding Jones.) 
 
 Emma. Alfred, dear, J hope you won't be so when — 
 
 Alfred (to Henry, laughing). Well, Henry, are you all right 
 with Eliza again ? 
 
 Henry (sadly). Oh, dear me! There's no give in about her yet. 
 
 Alfred. Oh, Eliza ! How obstinate of you! 
 
 Eliza {embarrassed). But, sir — 
 
98 A FAMILY FIX. 
 
 Emma (laughing). You will have to yield, Eliza ; yon 1 'd 
 better begin. 
 
 Eliza. But you ought to know — 
 
 Emma. We know all about it. 
 
 Jones. That's so, Eliza ; you started the whole trouble. 
 
 Mrs. Jones {eagerly). Yes, yes ; the whole trouble began 
 with you. You have spoiled our entire morning; and, as a 
 penalty for your offense, you must say the words before us all. 
 ifow, out with it I {Dictating slowly, ivord for word.) Thank 
 Heaven — the table — is laid ! Now, begin ! (Jones, Emma and 
 Alfred btirst out laughing and clap their hands. Mrs. Jones 
 is astonished.) "What's the matter now ? 
 
 Jones. You've said the words yourself, old lady. 
 
 Mrs. Jones. Oh, dear ! so I did. I never thought of that. 
 {Hesitating a moment.) Well, it is said. All the better. {Smiles, 
 and offers Jones her hand.) 
 
 Alfred. Come, now, Eliza, you are the only one left. 
 
 Eliza {ashamed, looking at Henry). Oh, I cannot. 
 
 Emma. I will arrange everything for your wedding in three 
 
 Eliza. Our wedding ! Oh ! Thank Heaven, — 
 
 Alfred {inquiringly). Well % 
 
 Eliza. Sir? 
 
 Alfred. Why didn't you go on ? 
 
 Eliza. Go on ! What then ? 
 
 Emma. You began well, just now ; you said " Thank Heaven ;" 
 that's the first half. Now, why don't you finish ? 
 
 Eliza. I said " Thank — " Oh, so I did ! But I didn't mean— 
 
 Mrs. Jones. And. I didn't mean it, either, when I said it. You 
 have said half; the rest should not worry you. 
 
 Eliza {looking piteously at each, in succession). The table is 
 laid! {Hides her face in her apron and exit quickly, centre, fol- 
 lowed by Henry. ) 
 ' Jones. I think we have waited long enough for our breakfast; 
 now let us — 
 
 Emma. Well said ! Let us take our seats, and to make sure 
 that we shall have no further chance of interruption, we will ring 
 the bell and draw the curtain. {They take their seats at the tulle.) 
 {Curtain.) 
 
THE PHILOPENA. 99 
 
 THE PHILOPENA. 
 
 Characters. 
 
 George — A young farmer. 
 
 Betty — His wife. 
 
 Eugene — An intimate friend of George. 
 
 Costumes— Domestic in style. 
 
 Properties. — Two tables ; a white table-cloth ; ironing board, 
 flat-irons and rough linen ; breakfast crockery, etc., for two ; a 
 gilt cup ; a loaf of bread ; a skein of worsted ; a guitar ; a key ; a 
 book. 
 
 Scene. 
 
 An apartment. On each side a table. On the table (right) a 
 long white table-cloth, reaching in front to the floor ; upon it an 
 ironing-board, and rough linen, ready for ironing. The table 
 (left) is laid for breakfast, with knives and forks, etc., for two 
 persons. One of the cups a fancy gilt one. 
 
 Betty is discovered standing at the table, left, dressed in a calico 
 wrapper, and white cap concealing her hair, which has been 
 arranged in curls. While she cuts the bread, etc., she hums an 
 air. 
 
 Betty. How the time does fly, to be sure ! To think that I 
 have been married two whole weeks ! I have been very, very 
 happy, but George is such a jealous fellow ! I declare ; I hardly 
 dare look at any one else without seeing his eyes following my 
 every movement ! I think he loves me, though. (Pause). And 
 what fun it is with that philopena ! He can't catch me, and I 
 have tried every way to catch him, but he is always on the watch. 
 If I could only throw him off his guard, now ; but how can I ? 
 (Takes up the gilt cup.) 
 
 George (enters right, watches Betty for a moment. Just as 
 she has picked up the fancy cup he steals behind her, puts his arm 
 around hericaist and kisses her.) Good morning, Betty ! 
 
 Betty (slaps him on the mouth). What a bad fellow you are to 
 startle me so ! 
 
100 THE PHILOPENA. 
 
 George (coaxingly). Was the surprise so very disagreeable t 
 
 Betty. I just had the cup in my hand. If I had let it fall it 
 would have broken all to pieces. 
 
 George (sarcastically, releasing her). It would indeed have 
 been a pity to have broken that beautiful cup ; that charming 
 forget-me-not from your young officer. 
 
 Betty (reproachfully). George ! 
 
 George (still more sarcastically). A great pity, indeed ! Tou 
 think so much of that cup that you must use it every morning at 
 breakfast. What a sacrilege it would have been if I had been the 
 unhappy cause of its destruction ! 
 
 Betty. George ! 
 
 George (sarcastically). He was a fine-looking fellow, this 
 young lieutenant ! So warlike ! So brave ! 
 
 Betty (looking at GEORGE/or a moment, in surprise). Yes, 
 that cup is very dear to me, and I shall never forget the giver. 
 When our house was on fire, and, half suffocated with smoke, I 
 screamed for help, and no one heard my cries, he dashed through 
 the flames and rescued me, at the peril of his life. 
 
 George (beseechingly). Betty ! 
 
 Betty. But for him I should have perished; should never have 
 been your wife. Am I right in cherishing his keepsake ? 
 
 George. I am in the wrong. 
 
 Betty. Should I not hold in high esteem a present which ever 
 reminds me of a noble man and a noble deed ? 
 
 George (deprecatingly). Dearest, darling wifey ! 
 
 Betty. You shall not have another opportunity for taking 
 offense at the sight of this cup. (Takes it and locks it up in cup- 
 board, back). 
 
 George (hurrying to prevent her). Don't do it, Betty. I 
 acknowledge my error. Bring it out again. 
 
 Betty'. What did you promise me, the other day ? 
 
 George. I promised to amend, and — 
 
 Betty. You would not make me sick with your jealous insinu- 
 ations. 
 
 George. Yes, yes ! I see what a blockhead I am. 
 
 Betty. We have been married just two weeks, and not one 
 day has passed without your worrying me with some silly piece of 
 jealousy. 
 
THE PHTLOPENA. 101 
 
 George. Dear wifey, I should not be so jealous if I did not 
 love you so much. 
 
 Betty. Indeed ! Do I not love you, then ? 
 
 George {embracing her). My angel ! 
 
 Betty. And am I jealous of you ? 
 
 George. Well, you — 
 
 Betty. Well, I — 
 
 George. Tou have no cause. 
 
 Betty (releasing herself and looking straight at him.) And 
 have you any cause ? 
 
 George. No, no ! I know how foolish I am. I am sore at 
 heart ; bear with my infirmity. 
 
 Betty. Tou should have confidence in me. 
 
 George. Oh, I have, indeed ! 
 
 Betty. Without confidence there is no true love. 
 
 George. Yes, yes! Tou are right. Pardon me. (Betty 
 offers him her hand.) Now bring back the cup. 
 
 Betty. No. 
 
 George. As a proof of your forgiveness ? 
 
 Betty. No. If you are a right good boy for one whole week I 
 will, but not unless. 
 
 George. But, my darling little wife — 
 
 Betty. But, my darling little husband, it can't be. I mean to 
 have it as I will. Now, come and take your breakfast. 
 
 George. Is it all over ? 
 
 Betty. Tes. 
 
 George. Everything serene again ? 
 
 Betty (leaning on him). How difficult you poor, weak men 
 are to convince ! 
 
 George. Tou are an angel ! (Leads her to the table, and they 
 seat themselves. ) 
 
 Betty (pouring out the coffee). "Where are you going to-day ? 
 
 George. In the woods. I must see after cutting down some 
 timber. 
 
 Betty (offering him a cup). Here is your coffee. 
 
 George (refusing it. ) Remember the philopena. 
 
 Betty (slapping him playfully on the mouth). Oh, you bad 
 fellow ! 
 
 George (laughing). Tes, my dear ; you don't catch me this time. 
 
102 THE PHILOPENA. 
 
 Betty {pouting). It's plain that we are married. 
 
 George (laughing). Yes, about two weeks. 
 
 Betty. Otherwise you would have suffered yourself to be 
 caught on purpose, out of pure gallantry. 
 
 George. Am I, then, un gallant? 
 
 Betty. Yes, yes ! 
 
 George. But you well know — 
 
 Betty. That you are married. 
 
 George {laughing.) That I must not lose this philopena. 
 
 Betty. All an excuse ! 
 
 George. Did I not make a bet with you that I would not lose 
 this time ? 
 
 Betty {slyly). Here's your cup. 
 
 George. That I should have to give you a new shawl, if I let 
 you catch me t 
 
 Betty. I have tried these three days all I could ; now I shan't 
 try any more. 
 
 George. Shall we cancel the philopena ? You are just as care- 
 ful as I am. 
 
 Betty {handing him the cup). Here ! 
 
 George. Remember the philopena. 
 
 Betty {impatiently). Oh, let it go ! I don't want to win it 
 any more. 
 
 George. But, Betty, what a lack of perseverance! You 
 women aro so smart, it ought to be so easy to catch me. 
 
 Betty. You don't mean to say so ! 
 
 George. Did you not make up your mind that you were bound 
 to win this ? 
 
 Betty. Dear George— 
 
 George. Well? 
 
 Betty. Let us talk about something else. That philopena is 
 getting flat, stale, and unprofitable. 
 
 George {laughing). With all my heart if you wish. {Eats 
 quietly for a moment.) Oh! By the way, my friend Eugene re- 
 turned home yesterday, and is coming to call here to-day. 
 
 Betty. What ! the woman-hater ? 
 
 George. Yes. 
 
 Betty. Yo^^ do not know how much he excites my curiosity. 
 
 George. Indeed? 
 
THE PHILOPENA. 103 
 
 Betty. According to your description, he must be such an in- 
 teresting man ! 
 
 George. Really? 
 
 Betty. I am really glad he is coming. 
 
 George (losing his temper again). "What ! Because he is so in- 
 teresting ? 
 
 Betty. What's the matter -with you now? 
 
 George. Why, I have to go away ; and — and leave you en- 
 tirely alone with him. 
 
 Betty. Oh, I see ! 
 
 George. It will doubtless be most interesting to you. 
 
 Betty. My big, strong husband wants to show me that he 
 cannot keep his promise. 
 
 George. But— 
 
 Betty (mocking him). I acknowledge my fault — 
 
 George (supplicaUngly). Darling Betty ! 
 
 Betty (still mocking). I promise to amend. 
 
 George (earnestly). That will I. See ; I am in good humor 
 again. 
 
 Betty (teasingly). Is it possible? 
 
 George. I have determined to control myself, *and trample 
 upon my troublesome temper. 
 
 Betty. Oh, what heroism ! 
 
 George. Have I not succeeded ? 
 
 Betty. Oh, I suppose so ! Ton are not, surely, jealous of a 
 man whom I never yet set eyes on? 
 
 George. Ah ! But you seem so anxious to see him. 
 
 Betty. Poor cup ! What a time you will have to be kept in 
 the closet! (George strikes his forehead with impatience.) Good- 
 bye, dear cup ! I shall never see you out again. 
 
 George. In one week it shall come out. 
 
 Betty. l$o ; not in a year. 
 
 George. If, during the next seven days, I am once the least 
 bit jealous, I promise you to give you your philopena. 
 
 Betty. Oh, oh ! I shall win it anyhow ; so that is no wager. 
 
 George. You think you will ? 
 
 Betty. I only mean — Oh ! You never told me how it was 
 that your friend Eugene came to hate the women so. 
 
 George. Because he is a fool. 
 
104 THE PHILOPENA. 
 
 Betty. Oh ! That is clear enough. But there must have been 
 some cause. 
 
 George. Eugene has a peculiar temperament. His disposition 
 is naturally cold, and morbidly sensitive. 
 
 Betty. Indeed ! "What a nice man he must be ! 
 
 George. Two years ago his betrothed jilted him, and it had 
 such an effect on his mind as to cause a real hatred of the entire 
 sex. 
 
 Betty. His sweetheart was false to him. "Was that all? 
 
 George. "Was that all ! ( With energy.) That all ? I should have 
 thought that was about enough to drive a man crazy ! And 
 you say so coolly, "that all V If you should be faithless to me — 
 
 Betty. Then you might have some excuse for going just a 
 leetle out of your mind. But if you are almost so before that 
 happens — 
 
 George. Ton women never will learn how to treasure up a 
 husband's love. 
 
 Betty {sarcastically). No. "We are entirely unworthy of such 
 an invaluable treasure. 
 
 George. The most of you: 
 
 Betty. All. 
 
 George [gently). "With some exceptions. 
 
 Betty. "Without exception. 
 
 George. No. You, for one. 
 
 Betty. Thanks. No, my noble duke ; I am not a whit better 
 than my sister women. 
 
 George. You don't say ! 
 
 Betty. I am a woman ; nothing more and nothing less. "We 
 women are naturally all good. "When, by chance, we are good 
 for nothing, you men are to blame for it. 
 
 George. You may be right. {Looks out of window.) See; 
 there comes Eugene. 
 
 Betty. Then I will be off. 
 
 George. But you are coming back ? 
 
 Betty. "Why, of course. 
 
 George. Try and get him into conversation. 
 
 Betty. I will. 
 
 George. Be friendly with him, 
 
 Betty. Certainly. 
 
THE PHILOPENA. 105 
 
 George. That's to say, polite, not too friendly, you know. 
 
 Betty. My husband's commands are my laws. Good-bye! 
 Come back soon. (Aside.) I believe he's the least mite jealous again. 
 
 George. I will hurry as much as possible. I will gallop all 
 the way. 
 
 Betty. Take care of yourself. 
 
 George. Don't be anxious. Good-bye ! I shall be back in an 
 hour. 
 
 Betty (kissing him). Good-bye ! (Exit, left.) 
 
 George (looking after her). She is so dear, so good, so 
 amiable! Oh, this accursed jealousy ! At any rate I am young, 
 and we gain in wisdom as we grow older. 
 
 {Enter Eugene. His dress is somewhat neglected and dis- 
 orderly. He wears a full beard, and carries a book in his 
 hand.) 
 
 George (going forward to meet Eugene). "Welcome, friend 
 
 Eugene. Back again, you see. 
 
 George. "Well, and in good spirits f 
 
 Eugene. Entirely. 
 
 George. And your business matters ? 
 
 Eugene. All settled, and in order. 
 
 George. And happy ? 
 
 Eugene. Yes. I thanked Heaven when I turned my back on 
 the city, and started back again to peace and solitude in the 
 country. How do you get along ? 
 
 George. I have been married just two weeks. How can you 
 ask ? "Why, I am the happiest mortal under the sun ! 
 
 Eugene (shaking his head). Ah ! 
 
 George. You don't half believe me— you woman-hater ! 
 
 Eugene (taking George by the arm, despondently). Oh, yes! 
 I once had hopes of happiness, a foretaste of felicity ; and yet I 
 was deceived. 
 
 George. But only once. 
 
 Eugene. And is not that enough ? 
 
 George. You might have made another trial. 
 
 Eugene. E"o — once, and for all. 
 
 George. Perhaps you were not wholly without fault in the 
 matter. 
 
106 THE PHTLOPENA. 
 
 Eugene. My fault was only loving the faithless jilt too well. 
 
 George. And you worried her with your jealousy until you 
 drove her away from you. 
 
 Eugene. Love is always jealous. 
 
 George. You must have confidence ; love cannot exist with- 
 out it. 
 
 Eugene. Are you never jealous ? 
 
 George. I ? No — yes — that is — well, perhaps a little bit ; but 
 not like you. Tou carried it too far. "Why, you would not let 
 your affianced dance with any one. 
 
 Eugene. She could dance with me. 
 
 George. You could hardly bear her to speak to any one. 
 
 Eugene. Could she not speak to me? 
 
 George. Not even look at another man. 
 
 Eugene. Had she not me to look at ? 
 
 George. "We'll never agree on these things. But now I'm mar- 
 ried you surely'll come and visit me occasionally, as of old ? 
 
 Eugene. I will try. When my betrothed deserted me, and my 
 passionate love for her was transformed into the deadliest hatred 
 of the entire sex — when I fled hither, bought this property, and 
 desired to see nothing but the trees of the forest and the stars in 
 the heavens — I met you. We understood one another. I learned 
 to like you, and it became a pleasure and solace to pass some 
 hours every day in your company. (George presses his hand.) 
 I will try and continue my accustomed visits, and see whether I 
 can school myself to meet your wife — (shuddering) to look upon 
 a woman once more. 
 
 George. My Betty is so good ! 
 
 Eugene. Do you think so ? 
 
 George. Indeed I do. 
 
 Eugene. They are all good for nothing, if she whom I loved 
 so fondly could give me up. 
 
 George. Well, let that pass. We must bear a little with your 
 weakness. But business compels me to leave you. I shall be 
 back soon. Meanwhile, my wife will entertain you. 
 
 Eugene. No need. My Byron will afford me all the entertain- 
 ment I require. 
 
 George. A young fellow of twenty-six should soon get dull 
 with nothing but Byron to amuse him. 
 
THE PHTLOPENA. 107 
 
 Eugene. But I shall soon have you again. 
 
 George. That's all very well; but life, without woman's love, 
 is a blank indeed. 
 
 Eugene. I have given it up. I should like to see what woman 
 could please me now, or could again awake any warmer feeling 
 in me. 
 
 George. Bah ! For two long years you have seen no one but 
 your homely old housekeeper, and, perhaps, a few country girls 
 who ran away when you went near them. 
 
 Eugene. Just as if they saw a wild beast ! Yes ; that suited 
 me exactly. They may avoid me, as earnestly as t avoid them. 
 Upon my word, George, I submit my friendship for you to the 
 severest test, by forcing myself into seeing your wife. 
 
 George. I appreciate the sacrifice, but still I hope — 
 
 Eugene (nervously). "What? 
 
 George. That you will be a sensible fellow once more. 
 
 Eugene. Am I not ? 
 
 George. To a certain extent you are a dear, sensible fellow, but 
 on one point — 
 
 Eugene. Immovable as a rock. 
 
 George. Tou can be as you please, for aught I care. But my 
 horse is waiting. Good-bye ! 
 
 Eugene. Good-bye ! 
 
 George. "We shall soon meet again. (Exit, right.) 
 
 Eugene (looking after him). Oh ! Poor George ! How soon 
 you will wake up from your dream of happiness ! Truly said one 
 of the wise men of Greece, that he thanked Heaven daily that he 
 was a man, and not a women. " The women/' said he, " were the 
 tares the enemy sowed among the wheat." (Sits, right, and reads.) 
 (Enter Betty.) 
 
 Betty (aside). So that is the grim monster who has the hardi- 
 hood to defy us women ! I wonder, now, if I could cure him ? 
 Here's a good chance to give my good, silly husband a lesson in 
 jealousy, and perhaps — yes, I will at least try some of the wiles of 
 the sex upon him. (Aloud.) Good morning ! 
 
 Eugene (gets up, makes a studied low, without looking at her. 
 Gruffly). Good morning! 
 
 Betty (approaching him and laying her hand on his shoulder). 
 I understand you dislike women. 
 
108 THE PHILOPENA. 
 
 Eugene {stealing a rapid glance at her). I have a sworn an- 
 tipathy to tho sex. 
 
 Betty. That suits me exactly. 
 
 Eugene. Eh? What? 
 
 Betty. My mother always warned me against men who were 
 given to be too attentive and devoted. Now, as you hate women, 
 you cannot be a very dangerous man. 
 
 Eugene. No, indeed ! 
 
 Betty. Then, you see, my husband can never be in the least 
 jealous of you. 
 
 Eugene. That's a sure thing. 
 
 Betty (clapping her hands). Oh, how nice ! 
 
 Eugene (whose eyes are always fixed on his book). Is George 
 ever jealous, then ? 
 
 Betty. "Worse than a Turk ! That's the reason I am so pleased 
 to find you entirely harmless. I need not be always under con- 
 straint with you ; I can laugh and sing to my heart's content, and 
 never raise any suspicion about it. 
 
 Eugene. Suspicion about me ! Not much ! (Turns his chair 
 half round away from her.) 
 
 Betty (going to table, left, and sitting before toilet-glass.) Are 
 you afraid to look at me ? 
 
 Eugene. How so ? 
 
 Betty. You turn your back to me. 
 
 Eugene. It's not for that, but — (Edges his chair round.) 
 
 Betty. My husband told me to pay you every attention, so you 
 must not be so churlish with me. 
 
 Eugene. I did not mean it so. 
 
 Betty. I was to entertain you ; but how can I, if you won't 
 even look at me ? (Eugene glances up at her, looking back on his 
 book again. ) "Will you excuse my putting my hair in order ? I 
 had not finished doing it when you arrived, and, rather than leave 
 you alone, I came in just as I was. 
 
 Eugene. Don't let me disturb you. I wouldn't stay another 
 minute, if I thought I interfered -with your arrangements. 
 
 Betty. Thanks ! I really think we shall get along together 
 splendidly. ( Takes off her cap, letting her curls fall down, and 
 arranges them.) But we cannot possibty carry on anything like a 
 pleasant conversation without looking at one another. The eye 
 
THE PHIXOPENA. 109 
 
 eometimes is as eloquent as the tongue. (Eugene looks at her 
 furtively from time to time, but carefully avoids meeting her 
 glance. ) They say that people can talk with their eyes, and I 
 really think there is something in it. (Pauses.) It takes two to 
 converse, and, if I cannot get an answer out of you, how can I 
 amuse you as my husband desired me to do ? Shall I sing you a 
 song? 
 
 Eugene (carelessly). If you wish it. 
 
 Betty (taking a guitar and tuning it). Oh ! Oh, dear ! 
 
 Eugene. that's the matter ? 
 
 Betty. Oh, I cannot turn this screw ! See ; my poor finger is 
 quite red. (Holds her finger before his face, and blows on it.) 
 
 Eugene (coolly). I am sorry for it. 
 
 Betty (pouting). I don't believe it 
 
 Eugene. Why not? 
 
 Betty (mocking him). " I am sorry for it." Is that the way you 
 speak when you feel sorry ? Tou are as immovable as flint. JSow, 
 help me turn that screw. (Ha?ids him the guitar. Eugene turns 
 the screw. Betty kneels before him, striking the string till it is 
 tuned.) A little bit more— good. Fow the A string. No;theother 
 screw. That's right ; thanks. Now you can take your book 
 again. (Sits a little apart and sings.) 
 
 ISTo one to love, none to caress, 
 
 Eoaming alone through this world's wilderness. 
 
 Sad is my heart, joy is unknown, 
 
 For in my sorrow I'm weeping alone. 
 
 No gentle voice, no tender smile, 
 
 Makes me rejoice or cares beguile. 
 
 IsTo one to love, none to caress, 
 
 Eoaming alone through this world's wilderness. 
 
 Sad is my heart, joy is unknown, 
 
 For in my sorrow I'm weeping alone. 
 
 (While she is singing, Eugene pays more and more attention; 
 his book falls from his hand, as his gaze becomes fixed on 
 her.) 
 
 Betty (looking sideways at him). How do you like my song ? 
 (Aside.) Hits his case exactly, 
 Eugene (thaioing). Beautiful! (Embarrassed.) 
 
110 THE PHILOPENA. 
 
 Betty (putting down the guitar and singing, sotto voce). No 
 one to love, none to caress. (Spoken.) Oh, dear me ! How pro- 
 voking ! 
 
 Eugene. What's the matter with yon ? 
 
 Betty (taking up some worsted). My winder is broken; I 
 wanted to wind some yarn. Now, isn't that vexing ? Oh, my 
 dear friend, how you could help me ! 
 
 Eugene. What! I? How? 
 
 Betty. If you would only hold this skein while I wind it 
 Oh, please do ! 
 
 Eugene (nervously). But — 
 
 Betty. Please — please ; I will do anything afterwards to 
 oblige you. If you hate women you cannot help making your- 
 self useful and obliging. If you don't help me I cannot get the 
 skein wound alone. 
 
 Eugene. I do not understand how. (His gruffness is gradually 
 disappearing, although he strives to retain it.) 
 
 Betty. There is nothing to understand about it. I can show 
 you how in a moment. Do, please ! 
 
 Eugene (reluctantly yielding). Well, if needs must — 
 
 Betty. Put your book away. Now turn round toward me. 
 Hold up both hands. Not so. (Places his hands and lays the 
 skein over them.) See how simple it is. How long have you 
 been in this neighborhood? 
 
 Eugene. Almost two years. 
 
 Betty. And all the time alone ? 
 
 Eugene. Solitude is my best friend. 
 
 Betty. Please pay more attention ; you must assist me a little 
 as I wind. (Directs his hands.) Solitude! Nonsense! That's 
 all very well for a grumpy old hermit ; but you— how old are 
 you? 
 
 Eugene. Twenty-five years. 
 
 Betty (examining his face carefully). Why, I should take you 
 for at least thirty. That's the fault of your shaggy beard. 
 
 Eugene. Does my beard offend you ? 
 
 Betty. Not at all. I like to see a good beard. A man with- 
 out a beard ! Oh, fie ! Were you never in love ? 
 
 Eugene (troubled). I beseech you, madame, do not touch on 
 that subject. 
 
THE PHILOPEXA. Ill 
 
 Betty. I beg you will not call me "niadaine ;" that is so horri- 
 bly formal. 
 
 Eugene. What, then, shall I? 
 
 Betty. Gall me " Betty." You are my husband's esteemed 
 friend, and— 
 
 Eugene. Oh, but madame ! 
 
 Betty. "Well, what is it ? 
 
 Eugene. But— 
 
 Betty. B-e-t — Bet. Come ; out with it 
 
 Eugene. I cannot. 
 
 Betty. Just try. I never had a woman-hater call me " Betty." 
 I should like to hear it. 
 
 Eugene. Well— B—JBe— Betty ! There! 
 
 Betty. Fie ! 
 
 E ugene. What is it ? 
 
 Betty. You say " Betty" as if you would bite me. My hus- 
 bar d says " dear Betty," so softly, so coaxingly. i like that much, 
 better. Don't tell me you were never in love ! 
 
 Eugene. Madame, spare me ! 
 
 Betty. Betty ! 
 
 Eugene. Betty, spare me ! 
 
 Betty. Bo tell me now. I am all curiosity. "Were you never 
 in love ? 
 
 Eugene. You are tearing open my wound afresh. 
 
 Betty. You have loved, then ? You must tell me all about it. 
 I thought you had a natural idio— idio — "What's the word ? 
 
 Eugene. Idiosyncrasy. 
 
 Betty. Idiocrat — 
 
 Eugene. Idiosyncrasy ! 
 
 Betty (slapping his hands). Look out ! You are dropping 
 the skein. Well? 
 
 Eugene. What ? 
 
 Betty. You were going to tell me all about it. 
 
 Eugene. Oh ! Let us leave that alone. 
 
 Betty. My dear Eugene, how can you refuse to gratify my 
 irrepressible curiosity. Was she beautiful ? 
 
 Eugene. Yery. 
 
 Betty. Young? 
 
 Eugene, About your age. 
 
112 THE PHILOPENA. 
 
 Betty. "What color were her eyes ? 
 
 Eugene. Black. 
 
 Betty. "What was her name 1 
 
 Eugene. Sophia. 
 
 Betty. That's a pretty name. You must have loved her very 
 deeply. 
 
 Eugene. She was my all. 
 
 Betty. Is she dead, then ? 
 
 Eugene. No. 
 
 Betty {stopping her ivorsted-icinding). "What ? 
 
 Eugene. She is alive and in good health. 
 
 Betty. You don't say ! Did you leave her, then ? 
 
 Eugene. No. She was faithless to me. 
 
 Betty. Oh, fie ! "What a shame ! 
 
 Eugene. "Was it not ! 
 
 Betty. How can a woman be faithless? I cannot understand 
 how she can be. 
 
 Eugene. I do not understand it either. 
 
 Betty. Poor — poor fellow ! Now I see — 
 
 Eugene. "What? 
 
 Betty. Now I see why you hate the sex. 
 
 Eugene. I had good reason. Is it not so ? 
 
 Betty. Faithless to her lover! How shocking! My poor 
 friend, how you must have suffered ! 
 ' Eugene. Oh, Betty, I was nearly out of my senses! 
 
 Betty. 1 should not wonder. You should forget the fickle 
 creature. 
 
 Eugene (softening o\j degrees). I cannot. 
 
 Betty. Believe me, she was not a good woman ; she was a 
 disgrace to her sex. Faithlessness is not a woman's failing; it is 
 not natural to her. 
 
 Eugene. Oh, if she had only felt as you do ! You are so kind, 
 Betty ; your sympathy does me so much good ! 
 
 Betty. Really? 
 
 Eugene. Oh, in my innermost heart ! \ 
 
 Betty. I am so glad of that. I wish I could console you. ( TJicy 
 look at one another; she drops her eyes.) It is a sad thing to see 
 a person in trouble. It always makes me cry to see others cry. 
 
 Eugene. How kiud, how feeling you are, dear Betty ! 
 
THE PHILOPENA. 113 
 
 Betty (arousing lierself). Don't let us speak any more about 
 your faithless one ; she was not worthy of you. 
 
 Eugene. Yes ; perhaps she was. 
 
 Betty. How so ? 
 
 Eugene. Perhaps I was also somewhat to blame. 
 
 Betty. Oh, let us leave this melancholy history ! You shall 
 tell me more another time, when we are better acquainted. 
 
 Eugene. I could tell you everything this moment. 
 
 Betty. Do you confide in me ? 
 
 Eugene. Entirely. (Betty drops lier eyes. Eugene takes her 
 hand.) You do not look at me. 
 
 Betty. Take care ! You will drop the skein. 
 
 Eugene. Ah, yes! (Resumes former position.) 
 
 Betty. You are tolerably rich, are you not ? 
 
 Eugene. Oh, yes ! 
 
 Betty. How nice that must be ! I wish I was rich. 
 
 Eugene. Money is not happiness. You are richer than I. 
 
 Betty. What ? I ? 
 
 Eugene. Your contentment ; your good temper — 
 
 Betty. That's all very well ; but when one is rich one can help 
 others, and do so much good. You are, of course, a most liberal 
 man? 
 
 Eugene. I ? Yes— no — that is — 
 
 Betty. No ? You have something so good-natured in your 
 countenance. I cannot suppose that your dislike to the female 
 sex has prevented you from acts of charity to the poor and 
 needy ? 
 
 Eugene. Really, I have done so little. 
 
 Betty. Fie! I could not have believed it That is very 
 wrong of you. 
 
 Eugene. But, Betty— 
 
 Betty. No one should be so wrapt up in himself as to forget 
 others. 
 
 Eugene. But, dear Betty — 
 
 Betty. What ! Must I tell you the truth ? 
 
 Eugene. I will improve. Will you aid me ? 
 
 Betty. How can I ? 
 
 Eugene. Distribute my alms ; show me the poor who need as- 
 sistance. 
 
114 THE PHILOPENA. 
 
 Betty. That will I, right gladly. I will show you where yon 
 can bestow your charity — plenty of it. 
 
 Eugene. As much as you will ; you shall be my almoner. 
 
 Betty. You are dropping the skein. You did much better at 
 first. Are you getting tired of it ? 
 
 Eugene. Not in the least. 
 
 Betty. If you are, only say so ; we will give it up. 
 
 Eugene. Oh, dear, no ; I'll hold it as long as you please. 
 
 Betty. Ah ! 
 
 Eugene (jumping up). "What's the matter ? 
 
 Betty. Something's in my eye. Oh, how it hurts ! 
 
 Eugene (putting the yam down and taking the ball from her 
 hand). Do not rub it. 
 
 Betty. Do please look and see if you can find it. 
 
 Eugene. Open your eye. 
 
 Betty. I cannot. "Where are you ? (Both eyes shut and feel- 
 ing round for him.) 
 
 Eugene. Here. (Gives his hand. Betty leans against him. 
 Eugene puts his arm gmxtly round her and draws her head to his 
 breast.) Try and open your eye. (Betty opens eye slowly. 
 Eugene tends over her.) Which eye is it ? 
 
 Betty. The right eye. (Eugene blows in it.) That does no 
 good. 
 
 Eugene. Keep still a moment. 
 
 Betty. It's better now. {Tries to withdraw.) 
 
 Eugene (holding her). Dear Betty ! 
 
 Betty. I am so much obliged to you. 
 
 Eugene (earnestly). You are an angel ! 
 
 Betty (smiling). So my husband says. I wonder how long 
 he will say so ? 
 
 Eugene. Forever ! You can never be otherwise. 
 
 Betty. A few years more and wrinkles come. 
 '; Eugene. You can kiss them away. (Tries to Tciss her.) 
 
 Betty (slipping aivay). What's the meaning of that, Mr. 
 Woman-hater ? 
 
 Eugene. Oh, let that be ! I was a fool ! I will forswear my 
 folly, if you will only help me. 
 
 Betty. I ? 
 
 Eugene. Be friends with me ; give me your assistance. 
 
THE PHILOPENA. 115 
 
 Betty. With great pleasure. 
 
 Eugene. I will do everything you tell me to. 
 
 Betty. You will be cheerful ¥ 
 
 Eugene. Yes. 
 
 Betty. Obliging ? 
 
 Eugene. Yes, yes. 
 
 Betty. Never hate women any more ? 
 
 Eugene. No, no. 
 
 Betty. Now I will try you. 
 
 Eugene. So our compact is settled ? 
 
 Betty (giving her hand). There's my hand on it 
 
 Eugene. Seal it. 
 
 Betty. What with ? 
 
 Eugene. With one kiss. 
 
 Betty. Go along with you. 
 
 Eugene. A pledge of friendship. 
 
 Betty. It would be nothing of the kind. 
 
 Eugene. An honorable kiss. 
 
 Betty. If my husband — 
 
 Eugene. He is my friend ; his wife must be my friend also. 
 (Takes her hand.) 
 
 Betty. You know how jealous he is. 
 
 Eugene {more urgently). Let me make a third in your home 
 circle. 
 
 Betty. But, Mr. Eugene — 
 
 Eugene. Oh ! Please— please do ! (Takes hold of her and 
 kisses her.) 
 
 Betty. Ah! {Screams.) 
 
 Eugene (relinquishing her). What is it? 
 
 Betty. My husband. 
 
 Eugene. Where? 
 
 Betty. Coming up the garden walk. 
 
 Eugene (looking through the window), He walks quickly. 
 
 Betty (sobbing). He saw everything. 
 
 Eugene. Impossible, from that distance. 
 
 Betty. He has eyes like a hawk. 
 
 Eugene. Well ! What if he did see it ? 
 
 Betty. He is so jealous ! 
 
 Eugene. There was nothing so terrible in it- 
 
116 THE PHILOPENA. 
 
 Betty. Ton kissed me. 
 
 Eugene. And if I did — 
 
 Betty. You do not know him ; he will be furious. 
 
 Eugene {anxiously). Good heavens ! 
 
 Betty. What a trouble — what a difficulty you've got me into ! 
 
 Eugene. Calm yourself. 
 
 Betty. He will read it plainly in my face. 
 
 Eugene. I had better go away. 
 
 Betty. You will run right into his clutches. 
 
 Eugene. "What shall I do, then ? 
 
 Betty. Conceal yourself. 
 
 Eugene. "Where? 
 
 Betty. Oh, please— quick. 
 
 Eugene. That will look as if— 
 
 Betty. Only till his first passion is over. Oh, do — pray ! 
 
 Eugene. "Where, then? (Goes toward left.) 
 
 Betty. Not there ! That's my. dressing-room ! 
 
 Eugene. Here, then ! {Goes right.) 
 
 Betty. Oh, don't go there ; that's our bed-room ! 
 
 Eugene. Good gracious ! Where can I go ? 
 
 Betty. Creep under the table. 
 
 Eugene. Under the table ? No ; that's too — 
 
 Betty. My dearest, best friend ! 
 
 Eugene. You may do with me as you will. {Creeps under 
 table.) 
 
 Betty {covering him with the table-cloth). Now keep perfectly 
 quiet. (Aside). Aha, Mr. Woman-hater, I've humbled you a 
 little ! Now we will frighten you a little bit. I am only treating 
 him too mercifully. (Goes to door, right, and takes out the key, 
 seats herself at table, left, and covers her eyes with her handker- 
 chief.) (Enter George.) 
 
 George. See ; I am back again. All alone ? I thought 
 Eugene was here. Is he gone ? Did you speak to him ? What's 
 the matter? You do not answer me. (Betty shakes her head 
 and sobs violently. ) What can be the matter with you ? You are 
 crying. Betty, do not keep me in suspense. (Betty throws her 
 arms around his neck, and buries her face in his bosom.) Dearest 
 wife, what has happened ? Tell me. 
 
 Betty (sobbing), I cannot, 
 
THE PHILOPENA. 117 
 
 George. It must be something terrible. Has any accident 
 happened ? 
 
 Betty. No ; I cannot— yet I onght not to conceal it from yon. 
 My duty to you is first of all. 
 
 George. Betty ! 
 
 Betty. Tour friend, who pretends to hate women — 
 
 George. Well! 
 
 Betty. Is a deceiver ! 
 
 Eugene (putting out his head). Oh, the serpent ! 
 
 George. I cannot understand — 
 
 Betty. I was attentive to him, as you desired. (Still sobbing.) 
 At first he was harsh and repulsive in his manner — 
 
 George (earnestly). And — 
 
 Betty. Then he got more and more friendly — 
 
 George (excitedly). What next ? 
 
 Betty. At last he wanted to kiss me. 
 
 Eugene. Oh, the hypocrite ! 
 
 George. Kiss you ? 
 
 Betty. I repulsed him — 
 
 George. And he — 
 
 Betty. Kissed me in spite of my struggles to resist him. 
 
 George. Ten thousand fiends. 
 
 Betty. You were coming through the garden — 
 
 George. Where did he go $ 
 
 Betty (throwing her arms round his neck). Don't kill him ! 
 
 George. Then he's here still ! Where is he ? 
 
 Betty. He besought me to say nothing to you about it, and 
 ran into your bed-room. (Eugene tries to escape, but cannot). 
 In my confusion, the key of the door came out into my hand. 
 
 George. He shall answer to me for it ! 
 
 Betty. Dear George ! 
 
 George. To betray me— his friend ! 
 
 Betty. Calm yourself. 
 
 George. Give me the key. 
 
 Betty. You are so fearfully excited. (Aside.) Now for the, 
 philopena. 
 
 George. Oh, HI be as cool as ten thousand cucumbers ! The 
 key! 
 
 Betty. You are running headlong into misfortune, 
 
118 THE PHILOPENA. 
 
 George. The key ! (Betty hands him the Jcey. Georqb 
 rushes to the door, and puts the key in the lock.) 
 
 Betty. Philopena! (George, astounded, stops instantly. 
 Betty dances around, in high glee.) I've won it; I've wod it. 
 Philopena ! (George looks at her doubtingly, opens the bed-room 
 door, glances around, but sees no one.) "Who said he would never 
 be jealous again ? 
 
 George. Yes, but this way — 
 
 Betty. Who was sure he would not lose his philopena ? 
 
 George. You snake! 
 
 Eugene. A double-header ! 
 
 Betty. Didn't you oblige me to resort to cunning to win it ? 
 
 George. And Eugene ? 
 
 Betty. Is a perfect fool. 
 
 Eugene. She's right. 
 
 George. I'm another, for my jealousy. 
 
 Betty. Right again. 
 
 George. And the philopena lost ! You killed two birds with 
 one stone. 
 
 Betty (striking the table). No, three. 
 
 George. How's that 1 
 
 Betty. Your philopena lost ! 
 
 George. One. 
 
 Betty. Your bet lost ! 
 
 George. Two. 
 
 Betty. I'll tell you the other when you catch me. (Buns off. 
 George exit after her.) 
 
 Eugene (appearing from under the table). iNow's my time to 
 get away. Phew ! Did you ever see such a woman in your life ? 
 Poor George, she'll make it hot for him ! ( Walks up and down 
 excitedly.) "Women, indeed ! A bad lot! But this Betty is the 
 worst I ever came near. Confound all Bettys ! (Sarcastically.) 
 So sympathizing ! So kind ! Wheedling and coaxing a fellow 
 into making a perfect ass of himself—and all for what ? Just to 
 win a miserable philopena ! The mean, heartless — (Starting.) 
 Ha! Somebody's coming. (Hurries off , left.) 
 (Curtain.) 
 
PAKLOR PANTOMIME. 119 
 
 PARLOR PANTOMIME. 
 
 This consists of a dramatic performance in dumb show, 
 and is rarely attempted by amateurs unless they have be- 
 come tolerably familiar with stage " business," or have the 
 advantage of a manager who thoroughly understands it. 
 It partakes considerably of the nature of a burlesque j 
 and in order to render it intelligible to the audience, 
 there is a certain amount of exaggeration requisite in the 
 actions of the performers, a caricature of natural gestures, 
 which distinguishes the parlor pantomime from other 
 dramatic performances. The costumes and u make up * 
 are more grotesque than natural, and the scenery needs to 
 be more carefully prepared and set than in comedies, etc. j 
 the music, also, must be very appropriate, the orchestra 
 and performers working together to keep the interest of 
 the piece from flagging. The directions given on page 63 
 for pantomimic actions are equally applicable here, but 
 perhaps a few additional instructions will be necessary. 
 
 L»0V8 is described by pointing at the object, and press- 
 ing both hands on the heart with a languishing expression 
 of countenance, followed by stretching both arms tenderly 
 towards the object. 
 
 Pity looks down on the object pitied, with uplifted 
 hands, and a mixed expression of love and grief. 
 
 Calling a person not on the stage is performed by 
 advancing to the part of the stage designated, facing offj 
 making three measured claps of the right hand on the left; 
 then drawing the body up haughtily with the arms folded, 
 as if in expectation. If the person called is present, the 
 caller approaches him, touches him grandly on the 
 shoulder, beckons him, retires a step, and awaits his 
 advance. 
 
 Trying to Recollect something is done by bending 
 
120 PARLOR PANTOMIME. 
 
 the head down and thoughtfully tapping the forehead with 
 the forefinger of the arm furthest from the audience; 
 gently shaking the head from side to side. 
 
 Recollection, following this effort, is expressed hy 
 raising the same forefinger upward, with a sudden gleam 
 of intelligence on the countenance, and a quick nodding 
 of the head two or three times in succession. * 
 
 A Demand for Money is made by stamping twice 
 with the right foot, slightly extended forward ; at the same 
 time striking the back of the right fingers on the palm of 
 the left hand, extended forward and palm upward. 
 
 Payment of Money is performed by thrusting the 
 left hand into the pocket, withdrawing it apparently full 
 of coins, and transferring them, one at a time, with the 
 thumb and forefinger of the right hand, to the right hand 
 of the receiver, extended palm upwards for the purpose. 
 When the necessary number has been transferred, the 
 player returns the (apparent) balance to his pocket, places 
 his left hand under the receiver's right, and with his right 
 hand folds the receivers fingers carefully over, so as to 
 secure the imaginary coins in his hand. 
 
 In Striking a person in the face, the sound of the 
 blow is made by the person attacked striking his hands 
 together very quickly, turning away as if endeavoring to 
 avoid the blow, but really to conceal the motion of his 
 hands. 
 
 Thanks are rendered with a graceful bow, and a 
 downward sweep of the right hand, palm upward. 
 
 The plot of a pantomime, in order to be clearly com- 
 prehended by the audience, must necessarily be of the 
 simplest kind. The success of the piece, therefore, entirely 
 depends on rapidity of action and unflagging excitement, 
 gradually increasing in degree as the climax is approached. 
 
LOVE mSTDEK OBSTACLES. 121 
 
 The remarks on Stage Management On page 69 are 
 applicable in this place. 
 
 The selection of a Pantomime for parlor performance' is 
 by no means an easy matter. The pieces usually met 
 with are written for professional actors, and are full of 
 difficulty for the amateur performer, who is not supposed 
 to have as much knowledge of stage routine. The follow- 
 ing Pantomime has been prepared to obviate these objec- 
 tions as far as possible, introducing only such actions or 
 situations as are entirely within the capabilities of a parlor 
 comedian. 
 
 LOYB TINDER OBSTACLES ; OR, JACK'S TRIUMPH. 
 
 Characters. 
 
 Peter — An old country gentleman. 
 
 Janet — His wife, a fine old lady, 
 
 Kate — Their lovely daughter. 
 
 Albert — A rich fop — Kate's nnenconraged suitor. 
 
 Jack — A rollicking sailor — Kate's decided preference. 
 
 Nelly — Kate's nice little maid. 
 
 Yillagers — Male and female. 
 
 Costumes. 
 
 Peter. — Loose swallow-tail coat; long vest with flaps over the 
 pockets; knee breeches; shoes with large buckles; frilled shirt 
 bosom ; wide tum-down collar, with lace necktie and ends ; gray 
 wig and broad-brimmed, low-crowned hat. 
 
 Janet. — Showy gown; small white lace spencer; lace ruffles 
 round her wrists; gray wig; targe spectacles; very high-heeled 
 shoes with buckles ; black lace half mittens, and a crutch stick. 
 
 Kate. — Handsome Dolly- varden suit, low necked, short sleeves ; 
 neat high-heeled shoes, and hair in ringlets. 
 
 Albert. — Close fitting swallow tail coat; tight black panta- 
 loons ; extravagant vest ; patent leather shoes ; elaborately frilled' 
 shirt front and wristbands ; hair parted in the middle, Dundreary 
 whiskers, and large eyeglass. 
 
 Jack. — Regular sailor's costume. His disguises loosely made 
 for quick changing* 
 
122 LOVE TJ2TDER OBSTACLES. 
 
 Nelly. — Complete Dolly- varden costume, high necked, long 
 sleeves, short skirts; striped stockings; neat shoes, and neat little 
 lace cap on head. 
 
 Properties. — Miniature in frame; stick for Janet; several 
 dresses; basket with cotton-lace edgings, etc.; pair of foils (if 
 needed) ; bottle with a cork in it ; two chairs ; tray, with a loaf of 
 bread and a tin cup on it; sack; club; wedding ring; two bags of 
 money marked $1,000; a head, stuffed, and made to look as like 
 Jack's head as possible. 
 
 Scene. 
 
 On left side the porch of a country house. Right, trees, etc. 
 Back, a landscape ; right of centre door, a large barrel or hogs- 
 head, with lid. 
 
 Kate is discovered sitting on a stool near house door, looking 
 at a miniature, and weeping. Wrings out pocket-handkerchief, 
 as though saturated with tears. Throws it off stage, and takes 
 out a clean one ; same repeated. 
 
 Albert enters {centre door) ; advances to Kate; takes minia- 
 ture, starts with surprise ; points at it ; goes through motions of 
 hauling ropes, and dances first steps of sailor's hornpipe ; points 
 again at miniature, then at Kate, shaking his head (a sailor is not 
 fit for her). Kneels on one knee, to comfort her. 
 
 Kate impatiently motions him off, snatching the miniature 
 from his hand. 
 
 Albert retires, despondingly. {Exit Albert, right. A whistle 
 is heard back.) 
 
 Kate starts ; looks back ; gets up, clapping ner hands. 
 (Enter Jack, centre door.) 
 
 Jack runs up to Kate. They embrace, and walk up and down, 
 conversing. 
 
 (Enter Janet, from house.) 
 
 Janet (hobbling with stick). Sees Jack and Kate ; holds up 
 both arms in astonishment, and turns to go into house. 
 (Enter Peter, from house.) 
 
 Peter rushes out of house, knocking Janet over: hobbles up to 
 Jack, whom he swings roughly away from Kate, threatening her, 
 and driving him away. 
 
 Janet gets slowly up, and enters house, (Exit Janet. ) 
 
LOVE UNDER OBSTACLES. 123 
 
 KATE implores Peter's pardon, and extends her hand to Jack. 
 
 Peter drives Jack off {centre door), threatening hira with his 
 stick; then leads Kate into house. {.Exit Kate.) Walks up and 
 uovn stage, gesticulating fiercely. 
 
 {Enter Albert, right.) 
 
 Peter sees Albert; welcomes him cordially, shakes hands with 
 him, pats him on back, and leads him towards house. 
 {Enter Kate, from house.) 
 
 Albert advances joyfully to meet her; tells her he loves her 
 with all his soul. 
 
 Kate despondingly shakes her head, and sighs. 
 
 Albert calls Peter ; points to Kate's dress. 
 
 Peter nods ; calls Eelly from house. 
 
 {Enter I^elly, from house.) 
 
 Albert leads ]S T elly to Kate; points at Kate's dress; then 
 motions off right to fetch a milliner. 
 
 [Nelly goes to right, and claps her hands, etc. ; calling. 
 (Enter Jack, disguised as a milliner, with several dresses on 
 his arm.) 
 
 Peter comes to milliner, and leads her to Kate. 
 
 Kate refuses to look at the dresses ; does not want any. 
 
 Peter insists ; leads milliner and Kate right ; leaves them there 
 and returns to Albert, with whom he converses. 
 
 Milliner shows Kate the dresses, trying in vain to get her at- 
 tention ; at last he lifts his bonnet and curled wig, and is recog- 
 nized by Kate. 
 
 Kate seizes him with both hands ; looks carefully through the 
 dresses, dropping them one after the other on the floor, and con- 
 verses with Jack ; at last embraces him. 
 
 Albert looks towards them ; sees them embracing; points out 
 the fact to Peter ; hastens towards the milliner, unobserved by the 
 latter; pulls off Jack's bonnet and wig, and discovers Jack. 
 
 Peter hobbles quickly up to Kate ; threatens her and Jack. 
 
 Jack escapes off right, shaking his fist at Albert. {Exit Jack.) 
 
 Peter drags Kate into house, followed by Albert. Kate resists, 
 but ineffectually. {Exeunt all. ) 
 
 (Enter Jack, disguised as a Peddler, with a basket full of trim- 
 mings, etc) 
 
124 LOVE UNDEE OBSTACLES. 
 
 Peddler looks around ; sees house ; goes towards it, and 
 knocks at door. 
 
 (Enter Nelly, from house.) 
 
 Peddler points at his basket ; shows Nelly his goods. 
 
 Nelly admires his wares ; runs inside the house ; brings out 
 Peter and Kate, and shows the basket. 
 
 Peter signs to Kate to take what she likes ; goes round behind 
 the Peddler (who is showing his goods to Kate), and looks over 
 his shoulder at the basket. 
 
 Peddler suddenly gets up, upsetting Peter, backwards. 
 
 Peter gets up, with Nelly's assistance, and knocks Peddler 
 down with his stick. 
 
 Peddler falls with his feet in the air, showing his sailor's pan- 
 taloons on. Gets up quickly. 
 
 Peter chases Jack with his stick. 
 
 Jack defends himself, and a scuffle ensues between them. 
 (Enter Albert, from house.) 
 
 Albert rushes to help Peter ; stumbles over the basket, and 
 runs head first into Peter, doubling him up, and throwing him 
 down. Then attacks Jack, who disencumbers himself of his 
 milliner's dress, and a grand combat takes place ; meanwhile 
 
 Peter picks himself up, rubs his back, shows signs of great 
 rage, and pushes Kate and Nelly into the house, following them 
 and shutting the door. (Exeunt Peter, Nelly and Kate.) 
 
 Jack continues his combat with Albert with varied success, 
 until both make a final dash at each other, miss, and fall, unable 
 to get up again from sheer fatigue. They make futile attempts 
 to strike each other ; at last both blow at one another, and fall 
 back exhausted. Jack then crawls off. (Exit Jack, right.) 
 
 (Enter Nelly, from house.) 
 
 Nelly looks round ; takes the basket, etc., and puts it inside 
 the house door. Then sees Albert ; goes to him ; raises his head 
 on her knee, and fans him. 
 
 Albert soon opens his eyes, sits up, and asks for wine to 
 drink. 
 
 Nelly runs to the house, and returns with a bottle. 
 
 Albert drinks ; rubs his back and stomach with the bottle ; 
 drinks again ; gets up, and drinks again. 
 
LOVE UNDER OBSTACLES. 125 
 
 (Enter Janet, from house.) 
 
 Albert, half intoxicated, reels round, and hits Janet on head 
 with the bottle, knocking her down. 
 
 Nelly goes quickly, and helps Janet up again. 
 
 Albert apologizes profusely to Janet, and assists her to a seat, 
 and exits, right. 
 
 (Enter Jack, disguised as an old woman, dent nearly double, and 
 hobbling with a stick.) 
 
 Jack goes up to Janet, and desires something to eat. 
 
 Janet sends jSTelly into house for food ; leads beggar woman to 
 chair, telling her to sit down. 
 
 (Enter Kate.) 
 
 Kate comes in with tray of food and drink. Offers it to old 
 beggar woman. 
 
 Jack puts his hands on Kate's head and blesses her, at the 
 same time discovering himself to her. 
 
 Kate drops the tray in surprise,, but recovers her composure 
 quickly ; picks up the bread, bottle, etc., replacing it on tray j 
 gives it to Jack, and kneels down by his side. 
 
 Jack eats, and makes love to Kate. 
 
 Janet meanwhile drops off to sleep on a chair. 
 (Enter Nelly, from house.) 
 
 Nelly comes hurriedly ; sees Kate and Jack ; from their actions 
 she guesses it is Jack ; goes to them and tells them that Peter is 
 coming. 
 
 Jack jumps up with a start, knocking the tray out of Kate's 
 hands. The noise wakens Janet, and general confusion. 
 
 Nelly runs off right, and returns with a sack ; puts Jack into 
 it asd lays it near the house door. She and Janet then run into 
 the house. (Exeunt Nelly and Janet.) 
 
 (Enter Peter, from house.) 
 
 Peter comes out to see what is the matter; trips over the sack, 
 receiving a blow on the back from Jack as he falls. He gets up, 
 rubs his back ; sees the bottle ; picks it up ; takes out the cork 
 and drinks ; rubs his stomach and drinks again, repeating until 
 the bottle is empty. Getting rather intoxicated, he turns and 
 sees the sack ; staggers to it, and tries to sit on it ; the sack rolls 
 away, and he comes down heavily on the ground. Gets up, 
 
126 LOVE UNDER OBSTACLES. 
 
 shaking his head, and measures distance from his feet to the sack, 
 so as to sit down on it this time, sure ; the sack rolls over again, 
 and he falls as before. Angry, out of patience and sleepy, he 
 lays his head on sack, which rolls away, and lets his head fall 
 with a bump. He falls asleep. 
 
 Jack cautiously puts his head out of sack ; looks around ; 
 sees Peter asleep, and the coast clear ; crawls out of sack, and 
 throws off his disguise. 
 
 {Enter Albert, right.) 
 
 Albert sees Jack ; rushes at him, and tries to drag him off, 
 right. 
 
 Peter wakes up, sees them struggling, and hastens to help 
 Albert. They overpower Jack, and force him into hogshead at 
 back of stage, and shut down the cover. 
 
 Albert seats himself on hogshead, to keep Jack secure. 
 
 Peter goes off right, and returns with a club. 
 
 Albert gets off, and signs to Peter to kill Jack with the club. 
 They both wait, watching the hogshead, one on each side, behind 
 it. 
 
 Jack lifts the lid slowly, puts his head out, and looking round, 
 sees Peter with club. Draws in his head, just avoiding a terrible 
 blow from the club. Same repeated twice. 
 
 Peter is annoyed at missing him three times, and says to Albert 
 that nest time he will not miss. 
 
 Jack again lifts the lid very cautiously, thrusting out a dummy 
 head {exactly like him), which is crushed by Peter's club, and in- 
 stantly drawn in again by Jack. 
 
 {Enter Villagers, just in time to see the last effectual blow.) 
 
 Villagers surround Peter and Albert, and threaten them. 
 Two or three seize and hold Peter and Albert, while the others 
 turn the hogshead over and drag Jack out, limp and powerless, 
 apparently nearly killed, and group around him. 
 {Enter Kate, from house.) 
 
 Kate runs in distracted; pushes Villagers aside, and takes 
 Jack's head in her arms ; feels his pulse and heart ; motions one 
 of the Villagers, who runs off right, and returns with a tin cup 
 of water. She takes it and moistens his forehead ; binds his head 
 with her handkerchief j gives him to a Villager ; goes to Peter ; 
 
LOVE UNDER OBSTACLES, 127 
 
 ■colds him violently ; shows him wedding-ring, and insists on 
 marrying Jack at once, before he dies. 
 
 Peter is furious, and won't listen to her. 
 (Meanwhile the Villagers are holding a consultation, some of 
 
 them pointing to Peter and Albert, shaking their fists; others 
 
 pitying Jack.) 
 
 Kate leaves Peter, and goes towards Jack. 
 
 Jack explains to Kate that he is not hurt ; shows her the 
 dummy-head, which he has hidden under his jacket. 
 
 Kate goes among the Villagers, and explains what she has 
 just been told ; tells them to go to Peter and Albert, and make 
 them give money. 
 
 (Two Villagers separate from the rest, approach Peter and Al- 
 bert, and demand money — much money — or they will hang 
 
 Mm. After a time spent in vain resistance 
 
 Peter pulls out of his pocket a large bag of money. 
 
 Albert does the same. 
 (The two Villagers take the money, and lay it on Jack's body, 
 
 and carry him carefully off, right.) 
 
 Kate watches the Villagers, and follows them off, right. 
 (Exeunt Kate and Villagers.) 
 
 Albert touches Peter on shoulder; points at him, and signs 
 that he killed Jack, and will be hanged. 
 
 Peter shakes his head, and says the same back to Albert. 
 
 Albert is indignant, and tries to strike Peter, but is prevented 
 by the Villagers who have them in custody. 
 (Enter Villagers right, dancing; headed by Jack and Kate.) 
 
 Jack leads Kate to Peter ; shows Kate's left hand with the ring 
 on it, to show they are married ; also shows him the two bags of 
 money, which he puts in his pocket. He and Kate kneel down 
 for Peter's blessing. 
 
 Albert tries to attack Jack, but is held back by his keepers. 
 
 Peter shakes his fist at Jack and Kate. Tells them they may 
 go ; won't have anything more to do with them. 
 
 Jack, jumps up ; snaps his fingers in Peter's face; takes Kate 
 round the waist, and joins the rest in their dance. 
 (Enter Janet, from house.) 
 
 Janet sees the dancing; and Kate and Jack together. Looks at 
 
128 SHADOW PANTOMIME. 
 
 Kate's wedding-ring; at first astonished ; goes to Peter and en- 
 treats him to come to Kate. After much hesitation 
 
 Peter hobbles up to Kate and Jack, joins their hands, and 
 blesses them. 
 
 Tableau, icith Villagers in background. 
 {Curtain.) 
 
 The combat between Jack and Albert, on page 124, may- 
 be made highly melodramatic in its details, and rendered 
 very effective if well performed. If the skill of the actors 
 will allow it, the battle may be fonght with short swords, 
 the regular, harmless stage articles, of course; but this 
 will require practice, and more thorough rehearsal than 
 when using merely nature's weapons. 
 
 The only action that may need some explanation is on 
 page 126, where Peter has to tell Albert that he has missed 
 his mark three times, but will not fail in the fourth attempt. 
 To make this plain, the following action is suggested for 
 Peter's guidance : Strike the head of the barrel once with 
 the club, hold up one finger, and shake the head in disap- 
 pointment ; repeat a second and third time, holding up two 
 and three fingers respectively. Then take the club in the 
 left hand, and shake the right fist, clenched in a deter- 
 mined manner ; seize the club with the right hand firmly, 
 strike a fourth blow, hold up four fingers, and nod repeat- 
 edly to Albert with a smile of satisfaction. When this 
 action is finished, a gentle tap with the foot against the 
 barrel will give Jack the " cue " to expose the dummy -head, 
 etc. The rest of the play is very easy, and, if well acted, 
 will be fully as effective as a more elaborate performance. 
 
 SHADOW PANTOMIME. 
 
 This very amusing and easily arranged performance 
 serves so well for an interlude or after piece, that it would 
 be well for an amateur stage to be fitted up with the neces- 
 sary fixtures for it. There are quite a number of acta 
 
SHADOW PANTOMIME. 129 
 
 written for this purpose, but they generally contain more 
 or less directions for performance that are nearly, if not 
 quite, practically impossible. 
 
 The instructions and specimen act here given, if care- 
 fully followed in every detail, will be found easy of accom- 
 plishment, and result in entire success ; and will also serve 
 as an example of the manner in which various effects and 
 illusions may be produced on the shadow-curtain ; so that 
 any one, with a moderate degree of invention and ingenu- 
 ity, will be able to multiply the effects and produce a great 
 variety of illusions. 
 
 It would be well, however, to bear in mind that it is far 
 more effective to undertake only what can be well and 
 thoroughly accomplished, than to attempt too much and 
 perform it indifferently. Every movement should be done 
 with deliberate precision, and nothing attempted hastily 
 and imperfectly. 
 
 T.he Curtain. — The first thing to provide is a curtain 
 of white muslin, not too thick, but of substance enough to 
 allow no rays of light to pass between the threads. The 
 seams must be made with a very narrow margin, with 
 close and tightly-drawn stitches, and the number of the 
 seams reduced as much as possible by using the widest 
 muslin that can be obtained. Sheeting can be bought as 
 much as two and a half yards wide, so that a curtain fifteen 
 feet wide need have but one seam. The size of the curtain 
 will depend on the place of exhibition ; in a parlor the 
 space between the folding or sliding-doors affords a good 
 place for it. A surface of six or eight feet wide, and eight 
 or ten high, forms a curtain which will answer for small 
 performers ; but for full-grown persons it should be larger ; 
 and, where available, an area of twelve feet square will not 
 be any too large. 
 
 The size of the curtain having been fixed upon, and the 
 seams sewn, provide a frame a little larger each way than 
 
130 SHADOW PANTOMIME. 
 
 the opening to be covered. Secure the curtain to the frame 
 with tacks, stretching it sufficiently to take out all folds 
 and creases, and fasten the frame firmly against the casing 
 of the door ; this arrangement makes a neater appearance 
 than making the frame to fit inside the door-casing. 
 Another plan, better suited for a regular stage, is to stretch 
 the top and bottom of the white curtain to two strong 
 strips of wood, the lower one being secured to the stage by 
 clamps or thumb-screws, and the upper one drawn up tight 
 by cords passing over pulleys fixed to the inside of the 
 proscenium. When not in use the curtain can be rolled 
 up and put away. 
 
 Just before the commencement of the performance the 
 curtain may be wet evenly with a sponge and clean water ; 
 this renders the shadows much sharper and more distinct, 
 and cannot well be dispensed with if the material of the 
 curtain be thick. 
 
 The Light. — The selection and management of the 
 light are matters of the highest importance. Whatever 
 kind of fight be used, it is necessary to have a bright and 
 steady flame— a large, dull, or flickering light being utterly 
 useless. Where gas is burned in the room a flat-flame 
 burner may be fitted to a stand placed on the floor, and 
 arranged so that the gas-flame is not more than two or 
 three inches from the ground ; in fact, the lower the better. 
 The stand can be connected with the nearest gas-fixture 
 in the room by means of a flexible tube. In parlors where 
 there is no gas the best substitute is a low, flat, tin kero- 
 sene-lamp, similar to those used in the street- cars ; a glass 
 lamp would involve too much risk of breakage and conse- 
 quent danger of fire. The edge of the flame should be 
 presented toward the curtain, as a flat flame, especially if 
 it be a wide one, will make the outline of the shadows on 
 the curtain less distinctly defined. 
 
 The position of the fight is the next point which claims 
 
SHADOW PANTOMIME. 131 
 
 attention. About six feet behind the centre of the curtain 
 place a stool or box, whose height is sufficient to clear the 
 top of the lamp. This is intended to protect the lamp and 
 affords a convenient footing for stepping over the light ; it 
 should, theiefore, stand firmly, or else be secured to the 
 floor. Just in front of this step the lamp is to be placed ; 
 and, for convenient reference hereafter, we will call this the 
 " first position." 
 
 Three or four feet behind the footstool, and in a fine with 
 the centre of the curtain, place another box about two 
 and a half feet high, to serve as a stand for the light when 
 needed. This will constitute the " second position" of 
 the fight, and will be used when an act is being per- 
 formed in which there is no need for stepping over the 
 light. In such cases the light in the second position throws 
 shadows more natural, and less distorted in their propor- 
 tions, than when used in the first position. 
 
 The lamp must be managed by a person who gives his 
 undivided attention to the performance ; he should under- 
 stand thoroughly what is going to be played, and thus be 
 able to give all the necessary stage- directions to the play- 
 ers, who should follow his orders implicitly. No perform- 
 ance can be successful without a competent stage manager, 
 and, least of all, a shadow pantomine. In transferring the 
 lamp from one position to the other, it mnst be done very 
 gradually, or the effect on the shadows caused by its 
 change of place will be too apparent, and this must never 
 be attempted without previous practice; in fact, no part 
 of a performance can be made entirely successful in its 
 effects without very careful and frequent rehearsal. Col- 
 ored light may be thrown on the curtain by holding a strip 
 of colored glass close before the light. Glass of a light color 
 only must be used, and perfectly clean ; dark colors deaden 
 the light too much. During a performance the shadow- 
 light must be the only one allowed to be burning ; all others, 
 
132 SHADOW PANTOMIME. 
 
 both behind the curtain and among the audience, must be 
 entirely extinguished. 
 
 Where it is not convenient to arrange a drop-curtain, the 
 light must be masked before the performance commences 
 and at its close. A small box, or even a large book, placed 
 close in front of the light, will answer, provided it be large 
 enough to shade the entire curtain. 
 
 The means employed and the effects produced, in a 
 shadow pantomime, are so entirely different from those of 
 a stage performance, that a few general directions are in- 
 dispensable : 
 
 Position of the Body.— The side of the head must 
 always be presented to the curtain, as the profile is the 
 only shadow that is effective ; even when the rest of a per- 
 former's body is fronting the curtain, the head should be 
 turned to one side or the other, so as to show its profile. 
 He must never attempt to look at his shadow ; this throws 
 the face at once out of profile ; during rehearsal only is this 
 allowed. 
 
 When a performer is standing side to the curtain, especi- 
 ally with the light in the first position, he must be very 
 careful how he manages the shoulder furthest from the 
 curtain ; unless he keeps both his shoulders exactly in a 
 line with the light his shadow will be an astonishing one. 
 A single trial will show how easy it is for a person to ap- 
 pear with a projection on his breast, or a hump on his 
 back, as the case may be ; and this is not always desirable. 
 Everything should be done as near to the curtain as prac- 
 ticable without touching it j always bearing in mind that, at 
 a distance of two feet from the curtain, the shadow of a 
 person five feet high will be all of seven feet six inches, 
 and would be rather more prominent than pleasing. When 
 both arms are brought forward into shadow they must be 
 held near together, and in such position relatively that 
 the shadow of the one is not eclipsed by that of the other. 
 
SHADOW PANTOMIME. 133 
 
 If the arms are held wide apart the shadow of the one 
 nearest the light will be greatly the larger. The same 
 may be said of any articles or objects held in the hands ; 
 in order to bring them into shadow the hand must always 
 be above or below the object held. 
 
 Action. — All movements must be well tested by re- 
 hearsal, as their effects on the shadow-curtain are often 
 widely different from what we might be led to expect. If 
 a performer wish, for instance, to scratch his head, it must 
 be done with the arm well curved to the front; in any 
 other position the whole of the arm and much of the hand 
 will be obscured by the shadow of the body and head. 
 All motions must be made parallel with the curtain, or their 
 effect is indistinct or entirely lost. Turning round must be 
 done quickly and neatly, with an exact and complete re- 
 verse of profile. In passing one another (a thing which 
 should be seldom done) performers should accomplish the 
 movement close together, and rapidly, so as to prevent 
 their shadows from getting mixed. When stepping over 
 the light, either toward or from the curtain, it must be 
 done sideways, presenting the profile to the light, and with 
 a long stride, so as to step down close to the curtain, if 
 going on, or clear on to the footstool, if going off. Any 
 halting midway between the curtain and the light will 
 leave only the lower half of the body in shadow, and of 
 colossal proportions ; entrance or exit over the fight should 
 not be too often repeated, but confined to a performer's 
 first appearance or final exit, or some other occasion when 
 it may be done with good effect. 
 
 There are very few persons, comparatively speaking, who 
 are gifted with a talent for pantomime. Performers on the 
 stage having considerable command over their features, 
 and a fair routine knowledge of mimic action, often fail to 
 express their meaning accurately. How much more diffi- 
 cult must it be, then, to convey an idea by a shadow only; 
 in fact, to make your shadow speak, In a shadow the ex- 
 
134 SHADOW PANTOMIME. 
 
 pression of the eye is lost j the working or play of the fea- 
 tures is imperceptible ; the only really movable portion of 
 the face is the lower jaw, affording the means of opening 
 or closing the mouth. 
 
 As the facilities for emotional expression are so limited, 
 it follows that a shadow pantomime must depend entirely 
 for success on a rapid succession of thrilling and ludicrous 
 situations, all so exaggerated as to be unmistakable in 
 their meaning. 
 
 Whenever any short dialogue or interchange of ideas 
 occurs between two performers, there is no other way to 
 make it plain to the audience than to put your few remarks 
 into words, repeat them silently in your own mind, and 
 accompany them with thoroughly appropriate but greatly 
 exaggerated action. This is really the secret of all suc- 
 cessful pantomimists. Two parties, when in apparent 
 conversation, should be careful to speak one at a time, as 
 it were ; that is, not to act both at once, but each wait for 
 the other to finish what he is about, and then reply to it. 
 Hence, the part each performer has to assume must be as 
 thoroughly studied beforehand as though it were a stage- 
 comedy ; and the manager be always ready to prompt (in a 
 low whisper) when the actor is at fault j this, of course, 
 requires perfect order and quiet behind the curtain. Noth- 
 ing should be done in a hurry, but, on the contrary, with 
 the greatest deliberation ; unless every action is distinctly 
 and completely performed the whole thing degenerates into 
 a confused jumble, utterly unintelligible to the audience. 
 
 Scenery .—The scenery used is of the simplest descrip- 
 tion, being cut out of stout paper and pinned, or otherwise 
 fastened, to the curtain. Common wooden chairs will cast 
 as good a shadow as if made of the finest rosewood, and 
 will not be injured by rough handling. In cases where a 
 table is needed for performance, it should consist of a strip 
 of board, of length limited to a proper proportion to the 
 size of the curtain, and not more than, say, nine inches 
 
SHADOW PANTOMIME. 135 
 
 wide ; nail it upon four strips of wood to serve as legs, and, 
 when in stage use, place it close to, not touching, the 
 curtain. Small articles must be put down on the edge of 
 the table nearest the light, or they will not come fully iuto 
 shadow. 
 
 Properties. — Articles to be used in a performance 
 should be laid down on the floor or on a table, in exactly 
 the order in which they will be required, within easy reach 
 of the manager, and under his sole control. No person 
 whatever should be allowed behind the curtain but those 
 who are actually performing ; and the performers, when not 
 acting, must be provided with seats entirely out of the way 
 of those who are acting, and remain seated, except when 
 called by the manager. 
 
 Whenever a chair or any article of furniture is needed 
 casually in a performance, it should be handed over the 
 light by the manager, high up, and as near the curtain as 
 he can reach without bringing it prematurely into shadow, 
 holding it steady for one of the performers to grasp it by 
 the leg and lift it down to the floor close to the curtain. 
 As seen by the audience, the hand of the performer passes 
 up out of sight, and fetches the chair, or table, as the case 
 may be, down from the ceiling. The article may be passed 
 off in the same manner by reversing the proceeding. All 
 small objects, such as fishes, birds, mallets, kettles, etc., 
 are cut out of paste-board, and always held parallel with 
 the curtain. To make a false nose, cut a piece of paste- 
 board to the required shape, and split open the back edge 
 sufficiently to allow the real nose to be inserted ; it can be 
 fixed securely, either by strings attached to each side and 
 tied behind the head, or by gumming on with adhesive 
 plaster. The latter plan is the best, as it admits of the 
 nose being apparently pulled off; and a handful of sawdust 
 will make a good substitute for the consequent flow of blood. 
 
 Costumes. — These can be made of any old stuff, and 
 trimmed, when needed, with paper. Costumes should be 
 
136 THE FEEJEE ISLANDERS AT HOME. 
 
 close-fitting, so as not to interfere with the shadow of the 
 performer's limbs. 
 
 Stage Directions.— The terms " right," "left," 
 etc., are used in their theatrical sense, as explained on 
 page 66. 
 
 In the following acts the stage action is given in as few 
 words as possible, the stage directions being in italics, be- 
 tween parentheses. 
 
 THE FEEJEE ISLANDERS AT HOME. 
 Characters. 
 Kameha — King of the Cannibal Islands. 
 Ochee — Kameha's son, a prince of the blood royal, and Commis- 
 sary-general of the tribe. 
 An Infant Feejee— A two-year-old native. 
 Sleek — A missionary, short, fat and sleek. 
 
 Costumes. 
 
 Kameha. — In tights, with short skirt reaching just above the 
 knee. Woolly head, and three feathers stuck upright on back 
 of head. Projecting nose, with ring hanging from it. "Woolly 
 beard on chin. 
 
 Ochee. — Also in tights and short skirt; nose and ring having a 
 strong family likeness. ISTo feathers on his head. 
 
 Sleek. — Tight-fitting tail-coat and pantaloons. Stove-pipe hat. 
 Exaggerated clerical (paper) lappels to his shirt-collar. Closely 
 fitting scalp covering his hair, and a decent wig over the scalp. 
 
 An Infant Peejee— In tights altogether, and tight-fitting scalp. 
 
 The costumes will require but little trouble to prepare. The 
 tights may consist of ordinary merino elastic under-shirts and 
 drawers and stockings. A horse-hair wig, such as is used by 
 negro minstrels, if at hand, is the very thing, but it may be made 
 of cotton-wool sewed into a tight-fitting muslin skull-cap, or 
 even on the elastic cotton caps used by skaters and bathers. If 
 possible, however, a trick-wig should be obtained for Kameha, 
 which allows of the hair on the top of the head being pulled up- 
 right by means of a string ; this is very effective. The savage's 
 feathers and Sleek's collars are made of stout paper. 
 
 A rag figure resembling Sleek should be prepared; the head, 
 
THE FEEJEE ISLANDERS AT HOME. A 37 
 
 arms and legs being sewn on in such a manner that thej ii hold 
 together, but allow of being easily separated. 
 
 Properties. — Umbrella; book ; bow and arrow (of rattan); 
 tomahawk; butcher-knife; saw; fan; egg; chicken; another 
 chicken, with an arrow stuck through it. 
 
 Scene. 
 
 On right side, the entrance to a hut. On left side, a large pot 
 hanging between poles. 
 
 The hut is made of stout paper, and should not take up an inch 
 more of the width of the curtain than is necessary to show the 
 entrance ; this latter is cut out of the paper and covered with thin 
 tissue-paper, which must be oiled if not sufficiently translucent. 
 The entrance should appear only a little darker than the light 
 part of the curtain. The height of the hut may be five feet, and 
 the entrance four feet ; on a large curtain, these proportions may 
 be suitably increased. 
 
 The pot or kettle is also made of thick paper, with a wire 
 handle, and suspended by a stout cord from the two sticks which 
 serve for poles. These are fastened at top, and secured against 
 the frame of the curtain in such a position that the kettle hangs 
 on the stove with its side against the frame. The kettle is about 
 two feet high and eighteen inches wide, and rests on a square 
 fire-place made of paper, a square portion in the front being cut 
 out to represent bars. These bars are covered with red tissue- 
 paper to imitate the glow of the fire within. The illustration, 
 Fig. 24, represents the curtain stretched on the frame, and the 
 paper-scenery in position, the strips of wood fastened to the 
 frame at A and B, and the fire-bars, C, to be covered with red 
 tissue-paper. Eight over the kettle, nail a strip of wood, D, on 
 to the frame, and insert a small eyelet into the upper end of it. 
 Arrange a similar eyelet, E, over the centre of the curtain. Pass 
 a piece of fine sewing-thread through each ; at one end of each 
 thread fasten a hooked pin, and secure the other ends on separate 
 nails on the side of the frame. On the string D hook a chicken, 
 and on the string E the other chicken with the arrow in it; haul 
 the latter up out of sight over the curtain, and let the former 
 hang down in the shadow of the kettle. In front of the fire lay 
 a few sticks on the ground. 
 
 Commence with the light in the " first position." (See page 131. ) 
 
138 
 
 THE EEEJEE ISLAITOERS AT HOME. 
 
 {Enter Kameha, tcith oow and arrow and tomahawk, over light.) 
 Kameha looks right and left, dips finger in pot, tastes it, 
 shakes his head ; goes into hut, comes out again, stands at en- 
 trance; points at kettle, then at his open mouth; shakes his 
 head ; claps his hands. 
 
 FIG. 24. 
 
 {Enter Ochee, over light.) 
 
 Threatens Ochee, points at kettle, squats down near hut, and 
 goes to sleep. 
 
 Ochee puts his fingers to his nose, cuts a caper, and picking up 
 sticks throws them into the fire. Euns into hut, returns with 
 fan, blows fire. Kettle boils. (A mouthful of cigar-smoke 
 ■puffed from the side as if issuing from the kettle produces the ap- 
 pearance of steam.) Cuts another caper and produces an egg, 
 which he drops into the kettle, and then squats down in front of 
 his father and nods, as if asleep, 
 
THE FEEJEE ISLANDERS AT HOME. 139 
 
 Kameha wakes np, sees Ochee asleep, and hits him on the 
 head with his bow to wake him. 
 
 Ochee wakes up with a start, rubs his eyes and turns round to 
 Kameha, who points to kettle. He then goes to kettle to get the 
 egg, looks into kettle, starts back in amazement. Beckons his 
 father, who looks over his shoulder in the pot. (Tlie chicken on 
 1) is now hauled up by jerks.) At each movement of the chicken 
 both start with surprise. The chicken disappears over the cur- 
 tain ; both point to the place. (A strip of cardboard with bad 
 egg cut out in it may be held for a moment from the side of the 
 curtain over the kettle. The chicken should now be drawn down 
 again by means of a stick with a hook at the end, the operation be- 
 ing done so as to produce no shadow on the curtain.) 
 
 Kameha points to the words Bad Egg, and hits Ochee on the 
 head. 
 
 Ochee falls down with legs up, jumps up, runs into hut and 
 brings out another egg. 
 
 Kameha snatches the egg, smells it, shakes it, nods his head in 
 approval, drops it in kettle and turns round to Ochee, shaking his 
 fist. (Tlie chicken is now hauled up near the top of the curtain, 
 unobserved by the players.) He turns again and looks into kettle. 
 {The chicken is let down, so as to appear as if standing on Kam- 
 eha's head.) 
 
 Ochee claps his hands and points at chicken. 
 
 Kameha looks up, sees the chicken (which is quickly drawn up 
 mit of sight), runs into hut for bow and arrow, appears again at 
 entrance and shoots up (so that the arrow will fall beyond the cur- 
 tain. The chicken at E, Fig 24, is now let down, fluttering, as if 
 wounded). 
 
 Both fall down afraid. 
 
 Ochee makes a grab at it, but it is hauled quickly up again. 
 
 Both shake fists at one another and stamp. 
 
 Kameha kicks Ochee over light and exits into hut. 
 
 Ochee comes out of hut, pushing infant Feejee before him up to 
 the kettle. 
 
 Infant turns round, with hands together, and begs to be 
 spared. 
 
 Ochee boxes his ears and carefully puts him in the kettle and 
 exits (left). 
 
140 THE EEEJEE ISLASTDEBS AT HOME. 
 
 Kameha, putting out his head from hut, watches these pro- 
 ceedings with satisfaction, withdrawing his head when Ochee 
 leaves. 
 
 (Enter Sleek, left, with umbrella under arm, and book in left 
 hand, as if reading.) 
 
 Sleek, making gestures with right hand, as if preaching, ad- 
 vances slowly. Starts; looks around him, dips finger in kettle, 
 withdrawing it quickly, as if burned ; blows on his finger and ex- 
 amines it closely. He again looks in kettle, and discovers infant; 
 lays down book and umbrella; holds up hands in horror; lifts it 
 out and wipes it off with his hands. 
 
 Infant runs off (left). 
 
 Kameha puts his head out of hut and draws it in again. 
 
 Ochee comes out of hut on all fours and goes toward Sleek. 
 
 Sleek turns suddenly, sees the hut, and steps toward it, but 
 tumbles over Ochee; gets up slowly, rubbing himself; tries to 
 grasp Ochee, who jumps over light. 
 
 Kameha appears at door of hut with bow and arrow. (He 
 must shoot so as to hit the book, which Sleek holds conveniently for 
 the purpose.) Holds up hands in amazement, at his shot being 
 warded off; kneels down and kisses Sleek's foot in token of sub- 
 mission. 
 
 Ochee enters (left), behind Sleek, looks in kettle, finds the in- 
 fant gone, turns round, sees Sleek, creeps up to him, runs knife 
 round his head and scalps him (lifts his wig off), and throws 
 scalp to Kameha. 
 
 Sleek puts hands to head and stamps with pain. 
 
 Kameha runs into hut, returns with tomahawk, hits Sleek on 
 head, knocking him down, and general scuffle on top of Sleek 
 (affording opportunity for Sleek to roll away back under light, 
 and the stuffed figure to be rolled into his place; during this the 
 light must be raised up gradually about two feet, and then trans- 
 ferred to the second position. See page 131). 
 
 Both get up slowly, one at each end of the figure. 
 
 Kameha lifts one leg of figure and lets it drop. 
 
 Ochee lifts one of the arms and drops it again ; lifts the figure 
 to a standing position (holding it by middle of back ivith one 
 hand). 
 
THE FEEJEE ISLANDERS AT HOME. 141 
 
 Kameha examines arm, leg, etc., rubs his stomach, then rubs 
 his hands with satisfaction and goes into hut. 
 
 Ochee lets the figure slope backward as if heavy, and pushes it 
 upright again, staggering. Same business repeated. 
 
 Kameha comes out of hut with saw, seizes an arm and cuts it 
 off. Takes hold of the figure and hands the arm to Ochee. 
 
 Ochee takes it to the kettle, drops it in, cuts a caper, and looks 
 in after it. (The arm stretches up out of the kettle, hits Ochee on 
 the head, and falls back into kettle. Tfiis is done by the manager, 
 from the side, using his own arm and fist.) He rubs his head, 
 turns round and takes the figure again from Kameha. 
 
 Kameha cuts the other arm off and holds the figure as before. 
 
 Ochee takes the arm to the kettle, again receiving a blow on the 
 head which knocks him backward, upsetting the figure and 
 Kameha; general fight again, ending by their resuming their 
 former positions. 
 
 The same business is repeated with the legs, which are in turn 
 cut off and transferred to the kettle ; last of all the head. 
 
 Kameha examines the body and sits down on it. 
 
 Both rest a moment, watching the pot, which begins to steam. 
 
 Kameha gets up, goes to the pot, pulls out a leg, tries it with 
 his teeth, struggling violently to bite a piece. No go ; throws it 
 back in pot. {The body has meanwhile been withdrawn by means 
 of a hooked stick.) Goes back to seat himself again and tumbles 
 over backward ; looks around for the body ; it is gone ; takes hold 
 of Ochee, points to the spot where the body was lying, and boxes 
 his ears. Points to kettle and shoves Ochee toward it. 
 
 Ochee looks in kettle, lifts an arm half out, which knocks him 
 down. 
 
 Kameha picks him up, kicks him, goes to kettle, and is also 
 knocked down by a leg ; sits up, rubs his eyes ; gets up and looks 
 again in kettle, puts his hand in, but finds nothing. (The chicken 
 is now let down from D, Fig. 24, on to his head and the manager 
 crows) ; looks up quickly, sees chicken (which is drawn up with a 
 single jerk); rubs his eyes, looks up where the chicken disap- 
 peared ; looks again in kettle, and finding nothing gets in a pas- 
 sion ; turns round, stumbling over Ochee ; gets up and faces Ochee, 
 points to his arms and then to the kettle, to his legs and head 
 and again to the kettle ; makes a motion as much as to say "they 
 are all gone," Points again at kettle. 
 
142 SELECTED PARLOR PLATS. 
 
 Ochee looks at kettle also. {Tlie head sticks out of the pot and 
 makes a Ha! Ha ! !) 
 
 Both start and run into hut, returning cautiously on tiptoe. 
 {LigJit to " first position," while both are in hut.) 
 
 Sleek, dressed as before, with, wig and hat on, enters slowly 
 [left), exactly as at first. 
 
 Kameha sees him first, and his hair stands on end with fear. 
 Trembles excessively and jumps over light. 
 
 Ochee then sees Sleek, and rolls over back into the hut. 
 
 Sleek points at him and then at the book, which he holds up 
 aloft as the triumph of civilization over barbarism. (A low chair 
 or stool is handed him over the light.) Puts the chair in centre of 
 curtain, mounts it and gesticulates as if preaching {moving contin- 
 ually to hide the effect of the change of position in the light, which 
 shoidd be very gradually raised per pendicidarly from its position 
 to about four feet from the ground). "When at that height, he 
 finally makes a bow and steps down from chair {straight back 
 under the light). {To the audience Sleek will seem to step down 
 into the ground.) 
 
 {Curtain.) 
 
 SELECTED PARLOR PLAYS. 
 
 Amateurs generally experience greater difficulty in the 
 selection of appropriate plays than might be supposed. 
 The catalogues of plays, as usually furnished, give only 
 the titles, and the number of performers of each sex re- 
 quired for their representation. From this meagre informa- 
 tion it is not possible to gain any idea of the nature of the 
 plays, and much time and trouble are thrown away, as 
 well as some expense needlessly incurred, in procuring and 
 examining the plays in order to ascertain their contents and 
 requirements. It has already been remarked that an 
 amateur manager cannot always choose his company to 
 suit the plays ; he must, therefore, suit the play as nearly 
 as possible to his company ; and, to aid him in this, a se- 
 lection of brilliant plays and farces, etc., is here given, 
 specially adapted for amateur purposes; with the charac- 
 
SELECTED PARLOR PLAYS. 143 
 
 ters of each in full, so that it can be seen at a glance which 
 of them are best suited for his purposes. 
 
 It would be well to draw attention to the fact that when 
 a piece is marked as a Farce, the characters that have no 
 special description given to them are such as would natu- 
 rally be required for a very lively comedy. The style of 
 the piece will be a guide to the style of the characters 
 needed for it. 
 
 THE STUDENT'S FROLIC— Farce, in one Act and one Scene. 
 
 Five characters. 
 
 Brutus Boodle, Esq., a country gentleman. Charles Ched- 
 dar, a rollicking student. Sergeant Berllnus, a rural police- 
 
 man. Mrs. Boodle. Hannah, a servant. 
 A HOUSEHOLD FAIRY.— Domestic Sketch, in one Act and one 
 
 Scene. Two characters. 
 Julian de Clifford, aristocratic but in difficulties. Kath- 
 
 erine, bright and bewitching. 
 A KISS 1ST THE DARK.— Farce, in one Act and one Scene. 
 
 Five characters. 
 Mr. Selim Pettibone, a jealous husband. Frank Fathom, 
 
 Mrs. Pettibone's former lover. Mrs. Pettibone. Mary, a 
 
 servant girl. An Unknown Female. 
 MRS. WILLIS' "WILL. — Comic drama, in one Act and one 
 
 Scene. Five female characters. 
 Mrs. Robinson, aged 40. Lady Spindle, aged 40, absurdly 
 
 haughty and dignified. Mrs. Dwindle, aged 30, a poetess and 
 
 lady of fashion. Jenny, aged 18, a farm servant. Rachel, 
 
 aged 50, Mrs. Robinson's servant. 
 JACK OF ALL TRADES.— Farce, in one Act and one Scene. 
 
 Six male characters. 
 Old Fickle, an old gentleman. Tristram Fickle, his son. 
 
 Briefwit, a Barrister. Sneer, a valet. Barber. Gardener. 
 HIS FIRST BRIEF. — Comedietta, in one Act and one Scene. 
 
 Five characters. 
 Charles de Murrer, a young lawyer. Mr. Congou Popham, 
 
 a retired tea merchant. Jeremy Pounce, a lawyer's clerk. Mrs. 
 
 Farringdon Ward, a young and wealthy widow. Martin, 
 
 her confidential maid. 
 
\44 SELECTED PARLOR PLAYS. 
 
 \ SUDDEN" ARRIVAL.— Farce, in one Act and one Scene, 
 
 Seven male characters. 
 
 Cornelius Cocker, an elderly gentleman, given to zoology. 
 Marmaduke Twist, his nephew, convivial. Resolute Cram- 
 mer, Bounceable Bang and Marplot Mooner, Twist's con- 
 vivial friends. Two Porters. 
 1 MEDICAL MAN". — Comedietta, in one Act and one Scene. 
 Three characters. 
 
 Alphonso de Pickleton, a dramatic author. Jones, a the- 
 atrical manager. Belinda, a young lady. 
 A TERRIBLE SECRET.— Farce, in one Act and one Scene. 
 Four characters. 
 
 Mr. Henpecker, the possessor of a terrible secret. Bob 
 Loosefish, a fast young man. Mrs. Henpecker, a suspicious 
 wife. Tilly, a housemaid. 
 POISONED. — Farce, in one Act and one Scene. Four male 
 characters. 
 
 Mivins, a young gentleman with expectations. Charles 
 Brown, his betrothed' s brother. Tom, his Jack of all Trades. 
 Mrs. Priggit, a laundress (played by a man). 
 AN ELIGIBLE SITUATION".— Eccentric Comedy, in one Act 
 and one Scene. Nine characters. 
 
 Miss Pigeon, a single lady. Bertha, her niece, in love. 
 Mrs. Skillet, a lady of vigorous principles. Mrs. Smallboy. 
 Miss Keggs. Susan, a parlor maid. Robert Smallboy, 
 Esq., a victim of circumstances. Frank Yerditer, an artist. 
 Cuffs, alias Walker, an artful dodger. 
 WANTED, A YOUNG LADY.— Farce, in one Act and one 
 Scene. Three characters. 
 
 Adelaide Stirling, a lady's companion. Frank Mitchell. 
 Simon Snoozle, man-servant. 
 
 The foregoing twelve capital pieces are all contained in li Row- 
 arcVs Book of Drawing-Room Theatricals," published complete in 
 paper covers for 30 cents, or bound in boards for 50 cents. 
 
 A SPANKING LEGACY.— Farce, in one Act and one Scene. 
 Five male characters. 
 
 Ursino Jacopo, a Corsican innkeeper. Jeremiah Jacopo, 
 his nephew, an Englishman. Rinaldini and Leoni, rivals in 
 love. Gendarme. 
 
SELECTED PARLOR PLAYS. 145 
 
 A SLIGHT MISTAKE.— Comedietta, in one Act and one Scene. 
 
 Five characters. 
 Lady Prince Proudly, a high-toned lady. Sarsnet, her 
 ' maid. Penelope Perfect, landlady of a Village Inn. Eosina, 
 
 her cousin. Dorothy, a faithful domestic. 
 TYTO GENTLEMEN AT MIYART'S.— Short Duologue for two 
 
 male characters, an Elderly Gentleman and a Young 
 
 Gentleman. 
 FURNISHED APARTMENTS.— Comic Interlude, in one Act 
 
 and one Scene. Five male characters. 
 Dr. Planus, a surgeon. Romeo Theodore Fuggles, the 
 
 doctor's assistant. Magnus Smith, a man of importance. 
 
 Telemachus Thompson, a man of weak nerves. Cephalus 
 
 Squill, the doctor's errand boy. 
 FIRESIDE DIPLOMACY.— Comedietta, in one Act and one 
 
 Scene. Four characters. 
 
 Reginald Florestan, a careless husband. John, his man- 
 servant. Mrs. Florestan, the best of wives. Mrs. Everslay, 
 
 a mischief-maker. 
 SLIGHTED TREASURES.— Petite Comedy, in one Act and one 
 
 Scene. Four female characters. 
 Anabella Hopeful and Arabella Hopeful, sisters, 
 
 jealous and quarrelsome. Araminta Nortigal, their friend. 
 
 Susan, servant. 
 THE DUTCHMAN'S GHOST.— Farce, in one Act and two 
 
 Scenes. Seven characters. 
 Hans Barth, Dutch dialect character. Henry Schael, a 
 
 lover. Jones. Mr. Burple, a hen-pecked husband. Mrs. 
 
 Burple, a tyrannical wife and mother. Catherine, Burple's 
 
 daughter. Charley. 
 MONEY MAKES THE MAN.— Drama, in one Act and one 
 
 Scene. Seven characters. 
 Colonel Culpepper, a stern parent. Charles Kettering, 
 
 Lucy's lover. Frank Datvson, Mary's lover. Mr. Ogle- 
 thorpe, a rich suitor. Lucy Maitland. Mary Culpepper. 
 A SILENT PROTECTOR.— Farce, in one Act and one Scene. 
 
 Five characters. 
 Quickfidgit, a gentleman in difficulties. Nat Nobbler, a 
 
 Sheriff's officer. Twaddleton Lisp, a dandy. Lilian Gray, 
 
146 SELECTED PARLOR PLAYS. 
 
 assuming the name of "Mrs. Arlington." Nancy Slyboots, 
 her servant. 
 
 THE STAGE-STRUCK CLERK.— Farce, in one Act and one 
 Scene. Nine characters. 
 
 Mr. Hooker, a lawyer. Tactic, Yictim and Fag, his 
 clerks. Mr. Knitbrow, an alderman. Mrs. Dobson. Fanny, 
 her daughter. Juliet Snooks. A Constable. 
 
 THE DUCHESS OF MANSFELDT.— Comic Drama, in one 
 Act and one Scene. Six female characters. 
 
 Duchess of Mansfeldt, a sovereign traveling incognito. 
 Madam Hermann, her attendant. Gertrude, a landlady. 
 Great Gudule, her servant. Lisa, a coquettish peasant. Rosa, 
 a malicious peasant. 
 
 A PAIR OF PIGEONS.— Domestic Sketch, in one Act and one 
 Scene. Two characters. 
 Mr. and Mrs. Peregrine Pigeon, a newly married couple. 
 
 A MOST UNWARRANTABLE INTRUSION.— Comic Inter- 
 lude, in one Act and one Scene. Two male characters. 
 
 Mr. Nathaniel Snoozle. An Intruder, a man of con- 
 summate impudence. 
 
 FAIRLY TAKEN IN. — Comic After-piece, in one Act and one 
 Scene. Two male characters. 
 
 Lord Henry, his own character, also disguised as his servant, 
 La Roche, French dialect character. Lady Julia, her own 
 character, also disguised as a French gouvernante. 
 Tlie foregoing fourteen excellent plays are included in "Hud- 
 son's Private Theatricals " at the same price as " Hoiuard's TJw- 
 
 atricals." (See page 144.) 
 
 HIGH LIFE. — A Musical Burlesque, in three Acts and one 
 Scene. Five characters. 
 
 Marquis of Ballyporeen, a haughty but impoverished noble- 
 man. Lord Titus Mountebank, a languishing but persevering 
 lover. The Marchioness of Ballyporeen, wife of the Marquis. 
 Lady Angelina, daughter of the Marquis. Priggles, her lady's 
 maid. The entire music is included, with piano-forte accom- 
 paniment. 
 
 DARK DEEDS.— A thrilling After-piece, in three short Acts 
 and one Scene. Five characters. 
 Hubert Yavasour, an intriguing lover. Collar, a detective. 
 
SELECTED PARLOR PLATS. 147 
 
 Mrs. Armadale, a widow lady in delicate health. Edith, 
 her niece. Servant. 
 MARRY IX HASTE, AND REPEXT AT LEISURE.— A 
 Comic Drama in blank verse, in three Acts and three Scenes. Six 
 characters. 
 
 Toil Black, a man who married for money. Mrs. Black, 
 his rich but ungainly wife (may be acted by a man.) Kate 
 "White, her niece. Jane, their servant. Dick Green, Kate's 
 lover. Z. 99, a policeman. 
 WEARIXG OF THE GREEX.— Irish drama, in three short 
 Acts and three Scenes. Six characters. 
 
 Mr. Harris, an Irish landlord. Pat O'Halloran and Tim 
 Rooney, his tenants. Mrs. Harris, the landlord's nice wife. 
 "Widow McGrath, an old Irish woman. Oonah, her pretty 
 daughter. 
 THE RESULT OF A XAP.— Farce, in three short Acts and 
 two Scenes. Five characters. 
 
 Henry Rasper, a hunting gentleman. Thomas Bragg, a 
 boasting gentleman. Bottles, the butler. Mrs. Rasper, Hen- 
 ■ ry's wife. Dorotht Darling, her sister. 
 BLUEBEARD. — Burlesque with songs, in three Acts and two 
 Scenes. Four well-known characters. 
 
 Bluebeard, Selim, Fatima, Anne. The music and piano- 
 forte accompaniment are included in this piece. 
 MOXSIEUR PIERRE. — An amusing piece, in French style; 
 in three short Acts and one Scene. Five characters. 
 
 Monsieur Pierre, an old French gentleman, speaking broken 
 English. Mrs. Barker, a lady speaking French with English 
 accent. Algernon, her son. Mary, Pierre's lost daughter. 
 Stephanie, Mary's maid. 
 "VIRTUE VICTORIOUS.— Old Style Comedy, in three short 
 Acts and two Scenes. Five characters. 
 
 Sir Harry "Wilder, an English squire. Farmer "Whoats, 
 English dialect part. Scamp, Sir Harry's agent. John, Sir 
 Harry's valet. Susan, "Whoat's daughter. 
 LOYE. — A Domestic Comedy, in three Acts and two Scenes. Six 
 characters. 
 
 Sir Berkeley Curryon, an English gentleman. Fred 
 Curryon, his son. Capt. Jack Travers, a fashionable bore, 
 
148 SELECTED PAELOfc PLATS. 
 
 Lady Cuesham, a match-maker. Blanche, her daughter. 
 Emily, a nice young lady. 
 
 AFLOAT AND ASHORE.— A Maritime Farce, in three Acts and 
 three Scenes. Six characters. 
 
 Lord Bullion, an exquisite. Harry Stirling, a young 
 midshipman. Jack, a sailor. Mrs. Gadabout, Harry's aunt. 
 Helen, her daughter. Martha, her servant. 
 
 TRAGEDY TRANSMOGRIFIED.— A manager's troubles, in 
 three short Acts and two Scenes. Five characters. 
 
 Placid, a manager. Testy, a prompter. O'Brown, a pan- 
 tomimist. Miss De Jones, a singing chambermaid. Hon. 
 Mrs. Belgrave, a fashionable authoress. 
 
 FAIRY FREAKS.— A Fantastic for juveniles, in three Acts and 
 
 two Scenes. Four leading and several subordinate characters. 
 
 Oberon, king of the fairies. Titania, their queen. Puck, 
 
 an intelligent official. Grumps, a sulky mortal. Fairies, etc. 
 
 The foregoing twelve pieces are all contained in il Nugent' s 
 
 Burlesque and Musical Acting Charades," at the same price as 
 
 " Howard's Theatricals." {See page 144.) 
 
 ORPHEUS AND EURYDICE.— A witty Classical Extravagan- 
 za, in rhyme, with songs, in one Scene and one Act. Six char- 
 acters. 
 
 Pluto, monarch of . Proserpine, his wife. Charon, 
 
 the ferryman. Cerberus, a watchman of dogged look. Or- 
 pheus, a wandering minstrel. Eurydice, his affianced. 
 
 IRRESISTIBLY IMPUDENT.— The Rehearsal of a Farce, in one 
 Act and one Scene. Five characters. 
 
 Dick Calmleigh, an impudent fellow. Mr. Wigley, a 
 stern parent. Charles, his son. Jennie Hayne, his ward. 
 Prompter. 
 The two foregoing pieces, ivith eighteen excellent acting proverbs 
 
 <and charades, are contained in "Parlor Theatricals," price 
 
 the same as "Howard's Theatricals." (Seepage 144.) 
 
 The following light, spirited petite-comedies, including three 
 
 Fairy Tale Dramas in an entirely new dress, are contained in 
 
 "Amateur Theatricals" at same price as the preceding books. 
 
 The various characters are so thoroughly adapted for il parlor 
 
 players," that it is hardly necessary to describe them in detail. 
 
 MR. JOHN SMITH. — A Screaming Faroe in two simple Scen.es, 
 requiring twelve male and seven female characters. 
 
SELECTED PARLOR PLATS. 149 
 
 THE YOUXG AMAZON.— A Rattling Comedy for three male and 
 
 two female characters, in one drawing-room Scene. 
 WOOING UXDER DIFFICULTIES.— A Comedy, in four Acts 
 
 •with four plain Scenes, for four male and three female characters. 
 BOLTS A:N t D BARS.— An excellent Comedy, in three Acts and 
 
 one Scene, for four male and two female characters. 
 ALL'S WELL THAT EKDS WELL.— A Comedy, in one Act and 
 
 one Scene, for three male and two female performers. 
 CINDERELLA. — A capital Travestie on the original Fairy Tale, 
 
 in four Acts and two Scenes, for four male and six female 
 
 performers. 
 BEAUTY AND THE BEAST.— A new version, in six short Acts 
 
 and two Scenes, for five males and four females. 
 BLUEBEARD. — An entirely new version of this well known 
 
 burlesque, in two Acts and two Scenes, for three male and 
 
 three female characters. 
 
 As it is just possible that the publishers of this work 
 might labor under the imputation of noticing, and. to a cer- 
 tain extent advertising, only their own books, they wish to 
 state, more by way of explanation than apology, that the 
 books containing the foregoing selections of plays were edit- 
 ed with great care and for the single purpose of affording 
 amateurs of an average degree of talent the best possible 
 field for histrionic distinction and success. 
 
 Without wishing to draw invidious comparisons, they 
 feel entirely warranted in affirming that the pieces referred 
 to are the very best that can be selected for the purpose, 
 affording ample variety to satisfy all ordinary demands, 
 and embracing most of the really effective plays that are 
 within the capabilities of amateur performers. 
 
 Parlor Actors are frequently ambitious enough to under- 
 take such pieces as " Money," " London Assurance," "The 
 Lady of Lyons," and other plays that involve not only 
 talent of a high order, but require a degree of ease and 
 finish in stage business attainable only by long practice and 
 experience. Besides, these standard plays are so well 
 known and are so often presented in public by strong 
 
150 SELECTED PAELOE, PLATS. 
 
 dramatic companies, that amateurs only run the risk of, at 
 least, unfavorable comparison and criticism in attempting 
 parts in which they can hardly hope to rise above medi- 
 ocrity. 
 
 It will be found far preferable to select plays that are 
 less familiar to theatre-goers, and which present less diffi- 
 culties to the actors ; they will thus be enabled to achieve 
 real success, instead of being compelled to realize the dis- 
 couraging conviction that they might have done better if 
 they had attempted less ; and, merely to gratify a little 
 unwarrantable ambition, they discover too late that they 
 have earned, not genuine applause, but only the " faint 
 praise that damns." 
 
DICK & FITZGERAJ/TX 
 PUBLISHERS, NEW YORK. 
 
 %* The Publishers, upon receipt of the price, will send any of the following 
 K\yks by mail, 1'OSTAge fkee, to any part of the United States. In ordering 
 books, ihe full name, post office, county and State should be plainer written. 
 
 Dick's Encyclopedia of Practical Receipts and Processes. 
 
 Containing over 6,400 Receipts; embracing thorough information, in plain 
 language, applicable to almost every possible industrial and domestic re- 
 quirement. The scope of this work is different from any other book of the 
 kind. The contents of the Encyclopedia are collated from works on the 
 various subjects by authors of eminence in their respective branches, divested 
 ©f technicalites, simplified and illustrated by diagrams, where necessary, so 
 as to make the whole plain and intelligible to the uniiiitiateu. This work 
 presents a complete and indispensable book for the household inrm, garden. 
 &c. ; including instructions as to what to do and how to do it. in «ase of all 
 accidents, contingencies, and ailments of daily life. It also affords a valua- 
 ble Book of Reference for the Druggist, enabling Mm to make up a number 
 of " Sundries," especially Toilet Soaps, Dentifrices, Cosmetics, and Perfum- 
 ery ; also specific Medicines and Remedies derived from the practice of 
 eminent Physicians, or from various European officinal sources ; thus forming 
 a useful, and desirable adjunct to the United States Pharmacopoeia. It 
 enables the Grocer to prepare his own Flavoring Extracts, Vinegar, and a 
 host of other articles, cheaper and better than he can purchase tnem ; and 
 to test the quality of some of the Goods that he buys and sells. To the 
 liquor Dealer it gives the best and latest methods of treating and improv- 
 ing his liquors ; of preparing Cordials, <fcc. ; of making, managing, and bot- 
 tling all kinds of Wmes, Cider, &c, — it lays before the workman the results 
 obtained by tb<i experiments and experience of the masters of his trade. 
 In fact it is almost useless to attempt an enumeration of the advantages of 
 this work, as there is scarcely a branch of Industry that may not deri?o 
 information and profit from its pages. The Index of this work occupies 42 
 three-column pages, in small type. 600 pagos, royal octavo, cloth. ' 
 
 Price $5.00. 
 
 Bound in half calf, extra S7-50 
 
 |^* Full descriptive circular of th.3 a&ove sent, by maiL. free. 
 
 Ferrero's Art of Dancing without a Master ; or, BaU-Boom 
 
 ■ Guide and Instructor. To which is added Hints on Etiquette ; also, the 
 Figures, Music, and necessary instructions for the most modern and im- 
 proved Dances. By Edward Eerrero. This work contains 105 pages of the 
 choicest Music, arranged for the Piano-forte by the most celebrated pro- 
 fessors. The Music alone is worth ten times the price of the book. 
 
 Bound in boards, with cloth back. Price 75 cts. 
 
 In paper cover 50 Cts. 
 
 Wilson's Book of Recitations and Dialogues. With instruc- 
 tions in Elocution and Declamation. Containing a choice selection of 
 Poetical and Prose Recitations and Original Colloquies. Designed as a 
 Reading Book for Classes, and as an Assistant to Teachers and Students ia 
 preparing Exhibitions. By Floyd B. Wilson, Professor of Elocution. Th« 
 
 Volloc aiea are widely original. Paper covers. Price 30 ct* 
 
 Botum in wards, cloth back... «-...»... .««««««..«. ,. <60et^. 
 
The Parlor Magician ; or, One Hundred Tricks for tlie Draw 
 
 ing-Room, containing an Extensive and Miscellaneous Collection of Con- 
 juring and Legerdemain; Sleights with Dice, Dominoes, Cards, Ribbons, 
 Kings, Fruit, Com, Balls, Handkerchiefs, etc., nil of which may he performed 
 in the Parlor or Drawing-Room, without the aid of any apparatus ; also 
 embracing a choice variety of Curious Deceptions, which may he performed 
 with the aid of simple apparatus ; the whole illustrated and dearly ex- 
 plained with 121 engravings. Paper Covers. Price 30 cts. 
 
 Bound in boards, with cloth back ....50 Cts» 
 
 Book of Riddles and Five hundred Home Amusements. 
 
 Containing a Choice and Curious Collection of Riddles, Charades, Enigmas, 
 Rebuses, Anagrams, Transpositions, Conundrums, Amusing Puzzles, Queer 
 Sleights, Recreations in Arithmetic, Fireside Games and Natural Magic, 
 embracing Entertaining Amusements in Magnetism, Chemistry, Second 
 Sight and Simple Recreations in Science for Family and Social Pastime, il- 
 lustrated with sixty Engravings. Paper covers. Price .30 cts. 
 
 Bound in Boards, with cloth back :, .. 50 cts. 
 
 Book Of Fireside Games, Containing an Explanation of the 
 
 most Entertaining Games suited to the Family C'rele as a Recreation, such 
 as games of Action, Games which merely require attention. Games which 
 require memory, Catch Games, which have for their objects Tricks or Mysti- 
 fication, Gaines in which an opportunity is afforded to display Gallantry, 
 Wit, or some slight knowledge of certain Sciences, Amusing Forfeit's, Fire- 
 side Games for Winter Evening Amusement, etc. 
 
 Paper Covers. Price..... -30 cts. 
 
 Bound in boards, with cloth back ...... .50 eta, 
 
 Parlor Theatricals ; or, Winter Evenings' Entertainment. Con- 
 taining Acting Proverbs, Dramatic Charades, Acting Charades, or Draw- 
 ing-Room Pantomimes, Musical Burlesques, Tableaux Vivants, etc. ; with 
 Instructions for Amateurs ; how to Construct a Stage and Curtain ; how to 
 get. up Costumes and Properties ; on the "Making up" of Characters ; 
 Exits and Entrances ; how to arrange Tableaux, etc. Illustrated with 
 
 Engravings. Paper covers. . .' ' . . .30 cts. 
 
 Bound in boards, cloth back. -. 50 cts. 
 
 The Book of 500 Curious Puzzles, Containing a large col- 
 lection of entertaining Paradoxes, Perplexing Deception in numbers, and 
 Amusing Tricks in Geometry. By the author of " The Sociable," " The Se- 
 cret Out," " The Magician's Own Book." Illustrated with a great variety 
 of Engravings. This book will have a large sale. It will furnish f tin and 
 
 amusement for a whole winter. Paper covers. Price 30 eta, 
 
 Bound in boards, with cloth back 50 Cts. 
 
 The above five books are compiled from the " Sociable " and " Magician's 
 Own." 
 
 The Young Reporter ; or, How to Write Short-Hand. A com- 
 plete Phonographic Teacher, intended to afford thorough instruction to 
 those who have not the assistance of an Oral Teacher. By the aid of this 
 work, any person of the most ordinary intelligence may learn to write Short- 
 Hand, and Report Speeches and Sermons in a short time. Bound in hoards, 
 with cloth back. Price 50 ot». 
 
Day 
 
 Popular Books Bent Free of Postage at the lAees annexed. 
 McBride's All Kinds of Dialogues. A Collection of Otigifi i 
 
 Humorous and Domestic Dialogues, Introducing Yankee, Trench, Iri i, 
 Dutch, and other characters. Excellently adapted for Amateur perform- 
 ance. By H. Elliott Meliride. This book constitutes a second series of 
 McBride's Comic Dialogues, and affords an additional variety of the spirited 
 dialogues and short dramatic scenes contained in the latter book. Tliey 
 are all entirely original, and develop in a marked degree the eccentricities 
 and peculiarities of the various ideal, but genuine, characters which are 
 represented iu them. They arc specially adapted for School Exhibitions 
 and all other celebrations where the success of the entertainment is partly 
 or entirely dependent on the efforts of the young folks. I 
 
 Illuminated Paper Cover, Price 30 cts. 1 
 
 Bound in Boards -. 50 Cts. : 
 
 Beecher's Recitations and Reading's. Humorous, Serious, 
 
 Dramatic ; including Prose and Poetical Selections in Dutch, Trench, Yan- 
 kee, Dish, Backwoods, Xegro and other Dialects. Edited by Alvah C. 
 Beecher. This excellent selection has been compiled to meet a growing 
 demand for Public Readings, and contains a number of the favorite pieces 
 that have been rendered Vith telling effect by the most popular Public 
 Headers of the present time. It includes, also, choice selections for Recita- 
 tion, and is, therefore, admirably adapted for use at Evening Entertain- 
 ments, School Celebrations, and other Testival occasions. 
 
 16mo. Illuminated Paper Cover, Price. . 30 Cts. 
 
 Bound in Boards 50 Cts, 
 
 _ s Garils for Poking the Question. An Original Game 
 
 for Lovers and Sweethearts, or for Merry-Making in a Party of Young 
 People. These cards are not only delightfully useful to diffident lovers- 
 enabling them to realize deferred hopes, and cure aching hearts, but will 
 make lots of fun and innocent amusement in a party of young people, often 
 resulting in earnest love passages begun in sport — preventing shyness and 
 diffidence, and promoting that healthy and easy confidence between the 
 sexes so necessary in all" social meetings. The set consists of forty-two 
 Cards, viz.: twenty -one questions, which" are mostly earnest declarations of 
 love, and twenty -one answers, equally pithy and to the point. As soon as 
 these Cards become known we feel sure that they will have an endless sale. 
 Put up in cases, with directions for playing. Price - . 30 C oS. 
 
 Wed Turner's Circus Joke Book. A Collection of the best 
 
 Jokes, Bon Mots, Bepartees, Gems of Wit. and Tunny Sayings and Doings 
 of the celebrated Equestrian Clown and Ethiopian Comedian, ISTed Turner. 
 Arranged and compiled by George E. Gowan. This book forms the third 
 of the series by this versatile popular performer. Price 10 Cts. 
 
 Chips from Uncle Sam's Jack-Knife. Illustrated with over 
 
 100 Comical Engravings, and comprising a collection of over 500 Laugha-^ 
 ble Stories, Funny Adventures, Comic Poetry, Queer Conundrums, Terj 
 rific Puns, TVitty Sayings, Suhli:n<> Jokes and Sentimental Sentences. Thet 
 whole being a most perfect port i'oiio for those who love to laugh. ' 
 
 Large octavo. Price 25 Cts* 
 
 Clarence Bolton. A ~New York story, with city life in all its 
 phases. This is one of those fascinating tales of city life that gives an in- 
 sight into every class of society. Price 25 Cts. * 
 
 Grace Weldon ; or, Tlie Pretty Milliner. This is a story abont 
 the Sewing Girls of Boston. Full of fun andadventure. Any person whi 
 desires to read a lively story should not fail to get this work. 
 Price. -..V..rv.,^.'-v.v ,.25 cts, 
 
Popular Books Sent Free cf Postage at the Prices annexed. 
 
 Howard's Hecitations, Comic, Serious and Pathetic. Being a col- 
 lection of fresh Recitations in Prose and Poetry, suitable for Anniversaries, 
 Exhibitions. Sociables and Evening Parties. 180 pages. Klnio. 
 Paper Cover 3(JCtd. Bound in Boards 50ctS. 
 
 -Frost's New Book of Dialogues. Being an entirely new and 
 
 original series of Humorous Dialogues, designed for performance at School 
 
 Anniversaries and Exhibitions. 180 pages. Paper Covers 30cts. 
 
 Bound in Boards* 50cts[ 
 
 Frost's Dialogues for Young Folks. A collection of Original, 
 
 Moral and Humorous Dialogues, adapted to the use of School and Church 
 Exhibitions, Family Gatherings and Juvenile Celebrations on all occasions. 
 A few of the Dialogues are long enough to form a sort of little drama that 
 "will interest more advanced scholars, while short and easy ones abound for 
 
 the use of quite young children. Paper Cover 30ctS. 
 
 Bound in Boards, with Cloth Backs, Side in Colors 50ctS. 
 
 Frost's Humorous and Exhibition Dialogues. This is a col- 
 lection of Sprightly Original Dialogues, in Prose and Terse, intended to be 
 spoken at School Exhibitions. Some of the pieces are for boys, some for 
 girls, while a number are designed to be used by both sexes. 180 pages. 
 Paper Covers 30ct3. Bound in Boards 50ct3 
 
 French. Self-Taught. A. new system on the most simple prin- 
 ciples for Universal Self-Tuition, with English Pronunciation of every word. 
 By Franz Thimm. Price 25cts« 
 
 German Self-Taught. Uniform with "French Self-Taught." 
 By Franz Thimm. Price 25cts. 
 
 Spanish Self-Taught. Uniform with " French Self-Taught.' 
 By Franz Thimm. Price 25cts. 
 
 Italian Self- Taught. Uniform with "French Self-Taught." 
 By Franz Thimm. Price 25cts. 
 
 Franz Thimm's Modern Languages. Being the above four 
 
 works bound together in cloth, lGmo. Price SI. 50 
 
 The Banjo, and HOW to Play It. Containing, in addition to 
 
 the Elementary Study, a choice collection of Polkas, Waltzes. Solos, Schot- 
 tisches, Songs, Hornpipes, Jigs. Reels, &c. ; with full explanations of both 
 the "Banjo" and "Guitar" styles of execution, and designed to impart a 
 complete knowledge of the Art of Playing the Banjo practically, without the 
 aid of a Teacher. By Frank Converse, author of the "Banjo without* 
 Master." KJmo. Bound in Boards, with Cloth Back 50ctS. 
 
 Jlowto Speak in Public; or, the Art of Extempore Oratory. A. 
 valuable manual for those who desire to become ready, off-hand speakers. 
 lGmo. Paper Cover 25cts. 
 
 How to Shine in Society ; or, the Science of Conversation. Con- 
 taining the principles, laws, and general usages of polite society. 16mo. 
 Paper Cover 25ctS. 
 
 The Athlete's Guide. A hand-book on Walking, Eunning, and 
 Bowing, giving full instructions for Training, and a Record of all the princi- 
 pal events since the year 1773, with sketches of the lives of the most celebra- 
 ted Athletes. By W. E. Habding. Ex-Champion. ltfnio, cloth. Price . 50 Ota 
 
Popular Books sent Free of Postage at the Prices annexed 
 
 Delisser's Horseman's Guide. Comprising the Laws on War- 
 ranty, and the Rules in purchasing: and Belling Horses, -with the decisions ana 
 reports of various courts in Europe and the united States : to which is added 
 a detailed account of -what constitute soundness and unsoundness, and a 
 precise method, simply laid down, for the examination of horses, showing 
 their age to thirty years old : together with an exposure of the various tricks 
 and impositions practiced by low horse-dealers (jockeys) on inexperienced 
 persons ; also a valuable Table of eacli and every bone in the structure of 
 the Horse. The entire matter carefully compiled from Twenty English, Five 
 'American. Six French, and Nine German Veterinary Authors, with the 
 opinions of the compiler attached. By George P. Eelisser. Y. S. <fc L. A., 
 anil late Examining Veterinary Surgeon to the American Society for the 
 Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. Bound in boards, cloth back. .. . 75 cts. 
 Bound in Cloth. Price $1.00. 
 
 Howard's Book of Conundrums and Riddles. Containing 
 
 over 1,400 "Witty Coiundrums, Queer Piddles. Perplexing Puzzles, Inge- 
 nious Enigmas, Clever Charades, Curious Catches, and Amusing Sells, origi- 
 nal and newly dressed. This splendid collection of curious paradoxes 
 will afford the material for a never-ending feast of fun and amusement. 
 Any person, with the assistance of this book, may take the lead in enter- 
 taining a company and keeping them in roars' of laughter for hours to- 
 gether. It is an invaluable companion for a Pic-nic or Summer Excursion 
 of any kind, and is just the thing to make a fireside circle merry on a long 
 winter's evening. There is not a poor riddle in the book, the majority being 
 
 fresh and of the highest order. Paper cover. Price '. 30 cts. 
 
 Bound in boards, cloth back. Price 50 CtS. 
 
 Frost's Book of Tableaux and Shadow Pantomimes. 
 
 Containing a choice collection of Tableaux or Uving Pictures, embracing 
 Moving Tableaux. Mother Goose Tableaux. Fairy Tale Tableaux, Charade 
 and Proverb Tableaux; together with directions' for arranging the stage, 
 costuming the characters, and forming appropriate groups. By Miss S. 
 Annie Frost. To which is added a number of Shadow Acts and Panto- 
 mimes, with complete stage instructions. 180 pages, paper cover. ..80 cts. 
 Bound in boards, cloth back 50 CtS. 
 
 Laughing Gas. An Encyclopaedia of Wit, Wisdom, and 
 Wind. By Sam Slick, Jr. Comically illustrated -with 100 original and 
 laughable Engravings, and nearly 500 side-extending Jokes, and other 
 things to get fat on ; and the best thing of it is, that everything about the 
 book is new and fresh — all new — new designs, new stories, new type — no 
 comic almanac stuff. Price 5>5 cts. 
 
 The Egyptian Dream Book and Fortune-Teller. Con- 
 taining an Alphabetical List of Dreams, and numerous methods of Telling 
 Fortunes, including the celebrated Oraculum of aSTapoleon Bonaparte. Il- 
 lustrated with explanatory diagrams. Boards, cloth back. Price. .-40 Cts. 
 
 Ned Turner's Black Jokes. A collection of Funny Stories, 
 Jokes and Conundrums, interspersed with Witty Sayings and Humorous 
 Dialogues. As given by Xed Turner, the Celebrated Ethiopian Delineator 
 and Equestrian Clown. Price 10 CtS. 
 
 Ned Turner's Clown Joke Book. Containing the best Jokes 
 and Gems of 'vTit. composed and delivered by the favorite Equestrian Clown 
 and Ethiopian Comedian, ZSTed Turner. 18mo. Price 10 Cts. 
 
 Sam Slick in Search of a Wife. i2mo. 
 
 t_ Paper oover. Prioo.... -.7fi eta 
 
Popular Books sent Free of Postage at the Prices Annexed. 
 Cards of Courtship. Arranged with such apt Conversations 
 
 that you will be enabled to ask the momentous question categorically, iq 
 such a delicate manner that the girl will not suspect what you are at. 
 These cards may be used, either by two persons, or they will make lots of 
 fun tor an evening party of young people. There are fourteen question 
 cards, and twenty-eight answers— forty-two in all. Each answer will re> i 
 spond differently to every one of the questions. The person holding th« 
 questions either selects or draws one out, as he pleases. The answer is giv« 
 en by shuffling the answer cards, and then throwing one of them down pro* 1 
 miscuously. It may be a warm and loving, a non-committal, a genial asJ 
 seating, a cold denying, an evasive, or even a coquettishly uncertain answefl 
 — for they are all there, besides others which it is difficult to classify. "When 
 oaed in a party, the question is read aloud by the lady receiving it— she 1 
 shuffles and hands out an answer — and that also must be read aloud byj 
 the gentleman receiving it. The fun thus caused is intense. Put up in 
 J handsome card cases, on which are printed directions. Price 30 cts* 
 
 Xove-Making Made Easy. By Love-Letter Cards. "We 
 
 have just printed a new and novel Set of Cards which will delight the hearts 
 of young people susceptible of the tender passion. These consist of forty- 
 two cards— twenty-one pink, or yellow, and the same number of white ones. 
 Each white card has printed on it a love-letter to a lady, and each of tho 
 colored ones has her reply. The letters and replies are all different, and no 
 formality of style, or namby-pambyism, will be found in any of them. All 
 are written in a modern familiar tone, with plain and candid declarations of 
 love — warmly or moderately expressed, or delicately hinted at, as the case 
 may be, and some of them boldly popping the momentous question to the 
 fair recipient. The answer cards are equally terse, candid and to the point. 
 N. B.— These cards may be also successfully used for models (either wholly 
 or in part) in writing to lovers or sweethearts. Put up in handsome cases 
 on which are printed directions. Price 30 Ct8* 
 
 Fortune-Telling Cards. Solutions of uncertain and intri- 
 cate questions relative to love, luck, lotteries, matrimony, business matters, 
 journeys, and future events generally, are here given in a direct, piquant, and 
 satisfactory manner. They have been carefully worked out on genuine as- 
 trological and geometrical principles, by planetarium, and in figures, trian- 
 gles and curves, and are so arranged that each answer will respond to every 
 one of the questions which may be put. There are fourteen printed questions 
 and twenty-eight answer cards. If none of the questions should suit your 
 case, you can ask any other you please, and the proper answer will come. 
 These cards will also afford a fund of amusement in a party of young people. 
 Each package is enclosed in a card-case, on which are printed directions for 
 using the cards. Price 30 CtS* 
 
 ieap-Year Cards. To enable any lady to pop the question 
 
 to the chosen one of her heart. This set of cards is intended more to make fun' 
 among young people than for any practical utility. There are twenty-ona,. 
 pink or yellow cards, and the same number of white ones — foily-two in all.) 
 On each of the colored cards is a printed letter from a lady to a gentleman, 
 wherein the fair one declares her love, or pops the question in a humorous- 
 ly sentimental manner. The letters all differ in style, and in the mode of 
 attack. The twenty-one answers, on white cards, is where the fun comes in. 
 Put up in handsome cases, on which are printed directions. .. .30 cts»' 
 
 ^ouillard's Book of Practical Receipts. For the use of 
 
 Families, Druggists, Perfumers, Confectioners, Patent Medicine Factors, 
 and Dealers in Soaps and Fancy Articles for the Toilet. Compiled with 
 great care from receipts now in use by the most popular houses in Franca 
 and the United States. By F* A. Souillard, practical chemist. 
 Paper ovrvr. Pike...-.,. < ,.26 efe* 
 
£opttlar B06&9 seat Free of Postage at tne Prices annexed. 
 Bniuder ima' Eook of Stump Speeches and Burlesque 
 
 Orations. Also containing Humorous Lectures, Ethiopian Dialogues, Plan- 
 tation Scenes, Negro Farces and Burlesques, Laughable Interludes and Com- 
 ic Recitations, 111 torsi >ersed with Dutch, Irish, French and Yankee Stories. 
 Compiled and edited by John F. Scott. This book contains some of the 
 best hits of the leading negro delineators of the- present time, as -well aa. 
 mirth-provoking jokes and repartees of the most celebrated End-Men of the 
 day, and specially designed for the introduction of fun in an evening's en- 
 tertainment. Paper covers. Price 30 cts. 
 
 Bound in boards, illuminated : 50 Cts. 
 
 Frost's Original Letter- Writer. A complete collection of/ 
 
 ' Original Letters and Notes, upon every imaginable subject of Every-Dajfl 
 Life, with plain directions about everything connected with writing a letter.' 
 Containing Letters of Introduction, Letters on Business, Letters answering 
 Advertisements, Letters of Piecommendation, Applications for Employment, 
 Letters of Congratulation, of Condolence, of Friendship and Relationship, 
 Love Letters, Notes of Invitation, Notes Accompanying Gifts, Letters of 
 Favor, of Advice, and Letters of Excuse, together with an appropriate 
 answer to each. The whole embracing three hundred letters and notes. By 
 S. A. Fkost, author of " The Parlor Stage,'' " Dialogues for Young Folks," 
 etc. To which is added a comprehensive Table of Synonyms alone worth 
 double the price asked for the book. This work is not a rehash of English 
 ■writers, but is entirely practical and original, and suited to the wants of the 
 American public. "We assure our readers that it is the best collection of 
 letters ever published in this country. Bound in boards, cloth back, vdth 
 illuminated sides. Price 50 cts. 
 
 Inquire Within for Anything you Want to Know ; or, Over 
 
 3,700 Fad,s for the People. "Inquire Within" is one of the most valuable 
 and extraordinary volumes ever presented to the American public, and 
 embodies nearly 4,000 facts, in most of which any person will find instruc- 
 tion, aid and entertainment. It contains so many valuable recipes, that 
 an enumeration of them requires seventy-two columns of fine type for the 
 index. Illustrated. 436 large pages. Price $1 50 
 
 The Sociable ; or, One Thousand and One Home Amusements. 
 Containing Acting Proverbs, Dramatic Charades, Acting Charades,Tableaux 
 Vivants, Parlor Games and Parlor Magic, and a choice collection of Puzzles, 
 etc., illustrated with nearly 300 Engravings and Diagrams, the whole being 
 a fund of never-ending entertainment. By the author of the " Magician's 
 Own Book." Nearly 400 pages, 12 mo. cloth, gilt side stamp. Price. .%\ 50 
 
 Martine's Hand-Book of Etiqnette and Guide to True Po- 
 liteness. A complete Manual for all those who desire to understand good 
 breeding, the customs of good society, and to avoid incorrect and vulga* 
 habits. Containing clear and comprehensive directions for correct manners, 
 conversation, dress, introductions, rules for good behavior at Dinner Parties 
 and the table, with hints on wine and carving at the table ; together with 
 Etiquette of the Ball and Assembly Room, Evening Parties, and the usages 
 to be observed when visiting or receiving calls ; deportment in the streefc 
 and when travelling. To which is added the Etiquette o" Courtship aui 
 
 Marriage. Bound in boards, with cloth back. Price 50 ct& 
 
 Bound a cloth, gilt side 75 Cts. 
 
 Day's American Ready-Reckoner, containing Tables for 
 
 rapid calculations of Aggregate Values, Wages, Salaries, Board, Interest 
 Money, &c, &c. Also, Tables of Timber, Plank, Board and Log Measure- 
 ments, with full explanations how to measure them, either by the square 
 foot (board measure], cubic foot (timber measure), &c. Bound in boards. 
 
 Price 50 Cta 
 
 Sound in cloth > ...7$Ctfr 
 
Popular Books seat Free of Postage at the Prices annexed. 
 
 ..— — — — —* 
 
 dpencer's Book of Comic Speeches and Humorous Recita- 
 tions- A- collection of Comic Spv.-ches and Dialogues, Humorous Prose and 
 Poetical Recitations, Laughable Dramatic Scenes and Burlesques, and Ec- 
 centric Characteristic Soliloquies and Stories. Suitable tor School Exhibi- 
 tions and Evening Entertainments. Edited by Albert J. Spencer. Thia 
 is the best book of Comic Recitations that has ever been published, and 
 commands a large sale on account of its real merit. It is crammed full of 
 Comic Poetry, Laughable Lectures, Irish and Dutch Stories, Yankee Yarns, 
 "Negro Burlesque , KJjxu-t Di-azuatic Scenes, Humorous Dialogues, and ali 
 'kinds of Funuy Speeches. 
 
 Paper covers. Price 30 ctsu 
 
 Bound in boards, cloth back 50 Ctfc- 
 
 Earache's Manual of Chess- Containing a description of 
 
 the Board and the Pieces, Chess Notation, Technical Terms with diagrams 
 illustrating them, Relative Value of the Pieces, Laws of the Game, General 
 Observations on the Pieces, Preliminary Games for Beginners, Eifty Open- 
 ings of Games, giving all the latest discoveries of Modern Masters, with 
 best games and copious notes. Twenty Endings of Games, showing easiest 
 ways of effecting Checkmate. Thirty-six ingenious Diagram Problems, 
 and Sixteen curious Chess Stratagems. To which is added a Treatise oi 
 the Games of Backgammon, Russian Backgammon and Dominoes, the 
 whole being one of the best Books for Beginners ever published. By N. 
 Mahache, Chess Editor of "Wilkes' Spirit of the Times." 
 
 Bound in boards, cloth back. Price 50 cts. 
 
 Cloth, gilt side 75 Cts. 
 
 $Iartme's Sensible Letter "Writer ; Being a comprehensive 
 
 and complete Guide and Assistant for those who desire to carry on Episto- 
 lary Correspondence ; Containing a large collection of model letters, on the 
 simplest matters of life, adapted to all ages and conditions, 
 
 EMBRACING, 
 
 Letters of Courtesy, Friendship and 
 Affection ; 
 
 Letters of Condolence and Sympathy ; 
 
 A Choice Collection of Love Letters, for 
 Every Situation in a Courtship ; 
 
 Notes of Ceremony, Familiar Invita- 
 tions, etc., together with Notes of Ac- 
 ceptance and Regret. 
 
 Business Letters ; 
 
 Applications for Employment, with 
 
 Letters of Recommendation, and An- 1 
 
 swers to Advertisements: 
 Letters between Barents and Children ; 
 Letters of Friendly Counsel and Re- 1 
 
 monstrance ; 
 Letters soliciting Advice, Assistance 
 
 and Friendly Favors ; 
 The whole containing 300 Sensible Letters and Notes. This is an invalua- 
 ble book for those persons who have not nad sufficient practice to enable 
 them to write letters without great effort. It contains such a variety of 
 letters, that models may be found to suit every subject. Bound in boards, 
 
 with illuminated cover and cloth back, 207 pages. Price 50 ct& 
 
 Bound in cloth 75 cts. 
 
 ?£he Perfect Gentleman, A book of Etiquette and Elo- 
 quence. Containing Information and Instruction for those who desire jO 
 ^become brilliant or conspicuous in General Society, or at Parties, Dinner^, 
 .or Popular Gatherings, etc. It gives directions how to use wine at table, 
 'with Rules lor judging the quality thereof, Rules for Carving, and a com- 
 plete Etiquette of the Dinner Table, including- Dinner Speeches, Toasta 
 and Sentiments, "Wit and Conversation at Table, etc. It has also an 
 American Code of Etiquette and Politeness for all occasions. Model 
 Speeches, with Directions how to deliver them. Duties of the Chairman 
 at Public Meetings. Eorms of Preambles and Resolutions, etc. It is a 
 handsomely bound and gilt volume of 335 pages. 
 
 *r~ «. -™.$16» 
 
Popular Books sent Free of Postage at the Prices annexed 
 Hillgrove'c Bail-room Guide and Complete Dancing-mas< 
 
 ter, Containing a plain treatise on Etiquette and Deportment at Bails! 
 and Parties, with valuable hints on Dress and the Toilet, together .villi iuli 
 explanations of the Rudiments, Terms, Figures and Steps used in Dancing, 
 includiug clear and precise instructions howtodaiK. all kinds of Quad- 
 rilles, Waltzes, Poikas, Redowas, Reels, Bound, Plain and Fancy Dances, 
 so that any person may learn them without the aid of a teacher ; to whiclj 
 is added, easy directions tor calling out the Figures of every dance, and 'ha 
 amount of Music required for each. The whole illustrated with 17'; de- 
 scriptive engravings and diagrams. By Thomas Hilxgrove, Piofcosor of 
 Dancing. 
 
 . Bound in cloth, with gilt side and back. Price SI 00 
 
 . Bound in boards, cloth back 75 ctSL 
 
 Wright's Book of 3,000 American Receipts; or, Light- 
 
 House of Valuable Information. Containing over 3,000 Receipts in all the 
 Useful and Domestic Arts— including Cooking, Confectionery, Distilling, 
 Perfumery, Chemicals, Varnishes, Dyeing, Agriculture, etc. Embracing 
 valuable secrets that cannot be obtained from any other source. No exer- 
 tion or expense has been spared to make this work as comprehensive and 
 accurate as possible. Many Receipts will be found in it that have never 
 before appeared in print in this country. Some idea may be lormed of ita 
 value in the latter respect, when it is stated that the compiler has been for 
 many years engaged in collecting rare and valuable Receipts from numer- 
 ous languages besides the English. This is by far the most valuable Ameri- 
 can Receipt Book that has ever been published. 
 12mo., cloth, 359 pages. Price „ §\ 50 
 
 The Modem Pocket Hoyle. Containing al] the Games of 
 Skill and Chance, as played in this country at the present time ; being an 
 " authority on all disputed points." By " Trumps." This valuable manual 
 is all original, or thoroughly revised, from the best and latest authorities, 
 and includes the laws and complete directions for playing one hundred and 
 eleven different games, comprising Card games, Chess, Checkers, Dominoes, 
 Backgammon, Dice, Billiards, and all the Field Games. 388 pages. 
 
 Paper covers. Price. t 50 cts. 
 
 Bound in boards, cloth back 75 c t-[ 
 
 Bound in cloth, gilt side and back SI 25 
 
 Richardson's Monitor of Free-Masonry. A Complete 
 
 Guide to the various Ceremonies and Routine in Free-Mason's Lodges, 
 Chapters, Encampments, Hierarchies, etc., in all the Degrees, whether 
 Modern, Ancient, Ineffable, Philosophical or Historical. Containing, also, 
 the Signs, Tokens, Grips, Pass-words, Decorations, Drapery, Dress, Regalia 
 and Jewels, in each Degree. Profusely illustrated with Explanatory En- 
 gravings, Plans of the Interior of Lodges, etc. By Jabez Richardson, 
 A.. M. A book of 185 pages. 
 
 . Bound in paper covers. Price 75ctst 
 
 :' Bound and gilt 81 2 ' 
 
 Barey and Knowlson's Complete Horse-tamer and Far* 
 
 iter. A New and Improved Edition, containing Mr. Rarey's whole Secret 
 of Subduing and Breaking Vicious Horses, together with his Improved 
 Plan of Managing Young Colts, and breaking them to the Saddle, thd 
 Harness and the Sulky, with Rules for selecting a good Horse, for Feeding 
 Horses, etc. Also, The Complete Farrier ; or, Horse Doctor ; a Guide 
 for the Treatment of Horses in all Diseases to which that noble animal is 
 liable, being the result of fifty years' extensive practice of the author, 
 John C. Knowlson, during his life an English Farrier of high popularity, 
 containing the latest discoveries in the Cure of Spavin. Illustrated with 
 descriptive Engravings. 
 Bound in boards, cloth back. Price »..,»• 04) ei& 
 
Popular Books sent Pro© of Postage at the Prioes annexed. 
 Book of Household Pets. Containing valuable instructions 
 
 about the Diseases, Breeding, Training nnd Management of the Canary, 
 Modcinn Bird, Brown Thrush, or Thrasher, and other birds, and the rearing 
 and management of all kinds of Pigeons and Fancy Poultry, Rabbits, Squir- 
 rels, Cuim-a Pius. White Mice and Dogs; together with a Comprehensive 
 Treatise on the Principle and Management of the Salt and Fresh Water 
 Aquarium. Illustrated with 123 fine wood-cuts. In boards. Price. 50 CtS. 
 Bound in cloth, gilt side 75 CtS. 
 
 Athletic Sports for Boys. A Repository of Graceful Re- 
 creations for Youth, containing clear and complete instructions in Gymnas- 
 tics, Limb Exercises. Jumping, Pole Leaping, Dumb Pells, Indian Clubs, 
 Parallel Bars, the Horizontal Bar, the Trapeze, the Suspended Popes, Skat- 
 ing, Swimming, Bowing, Sailing, Horsemanship, Biding, Driving, Angling, 
 Fencing and Broadsword. The whole splendidly illustrated with 194 fine 
 wood-cuts and diagrams. Bound in boards, with cloth back. Price. 75 ctS. 
 Bound in cloth, gilt side.. ....$1 00 
 
 The Bar-Tender's Guide ; or, How to Mix all Kinds of 
 
 Fancy Drinks. Containing clear and reliable directions for mixing all the 
 beverages used in the United States. Embracing Punches, Juleps, Cob- 
 blers, Cocktails, etc., etc., in endless variety. By Jerry Thomas. With 
 plain directions for making Syrups, Bitters, Cordials and Liqueurs, with the 
 various harmless flavoring and coloring substances used in their preparation, 
 and complete instructions for Distilling, Filtering and Clarifying them. 
 
 Illuminated paper cover 50 CtS. 
 
 Bound in full cloth 75 CtS. 
 
 How to Learn the Sense of 3,000 French Words in One 
 
 Hour. This ingenious little book actually accomplishes all that its title 
 claims. It is a fact' that there are at least three thousand words in the 
 French language, forming a large proportion of those used in ordinary con- 
 versation, which are spelled exactly the same as in. English, or become the 
 same by very slight and easily understood changes in their termination. 
 
 16mo, illuminated paper cover 25 ctS. 
 
 Bound in full cloth qq q^ 
 
 Barton's Comic Recitations and Humorous Dialogues. 
 
 Containing a variety of Comic Recitations in Prose and Poetry, Amusing 
 Dialogues, Burlesque Scenes, Eccentric Orations and Stump Speeches, Hu- 
 morous Interludes and Laughable Farces. Designed for School Commence- 
 ments and Amateur Theatricals. Edited by Jerome Barton. This is the 
 best collection of Humorous pieces, especially adapted to the parlor stage, 
 
 that has ever been published. Eluminated paper cover. Price 30 CtS. 
 
 Bound in boards, with cloth back 59 cts! 
 
 The Secret Out ; or, One Thousand Tricks with Cards, and 
 other Recreations. Illustrated with over Three Hundred Engravings. A 
 book which explains all the Tricks and Deceptions with Playing Cards ever 
 known, and gives, besides, a great manv new ones— the whole bein°- de- 
 scribed so carefully, with engravings to illustrate them, that anybodv°can 
 easily learn how to perform them. This work also contains 240 of the best 
 Tricks in Legerdemain, in addition to the card tricks. 12mo, 400 pages, 
 bound in cloth, with gilt side and back. Price ' $1 59 
 
 Lander's Expose of Odd-Fellowship. Containing all the 
 
 Lectures complete, with regulations for Opening, Conducting and Closing a 
 Lodge ; together with Forms of Initiation, Charges of the various Officers, 
 etc., giving all the Works in the following Degrees : 1st or White Degree ; 
 2d or Covenant Degree ; 3d or Boyal Blue Degree ; 4th or Bemembrance 
 Degree ; 5th or Scarlet Degree. Paper cover 25 CtS. 
 
Popular Books sent Free of Postage at tie Prices annexe! 
 
 The Hishap3 and Adventures of Obadiah Oidbuek. Where- 
 in are set forth the Crosses, Chagrins, Calamities, Checks, Chills, tue 
 Changes, Circumgyrations, by which his Courtship w;ls attended. Shoving 
 also, the issue of his suit, and his Espousal to his Lady jLove. This humor- 
 ous and curious book sets forthwith 183 comic drawings, the misfortune* 
 ■which befell Mr. Oklbuck : and also his live unsuccessful attempts to com' 
 mit suicide — his hairbreadth escapes from fire, water and famine — his affec- 
 tion f r his poor dog, etc. To look over this book will make you laugh and 
 you can't help it. Price 30 els. 
 
 Barber's American Book of Ready-Made Speeches. Con- 
 taining 1j9 original examples of humorous and serious Speeches, suitable 
 for the following occasions: Presentation Speeches, Convivial Speeches, 
 Festival Speeches, Add*esse3 of Welcome, Addresses of Congratulation and 
 Compliment, Political Speeches, Dinner and Supper Speeches, for Clubs, 
 Associations, etc. ; Trade Banquets, etc. ; Off-hand Speeches on a variety 
 of subjects ; together with appropriate Keplies to each. To which are added, 
 Itesolutions of Compliment, Congratulation and Condolence, an<J a variety 
 of Toasts and Sentiments for Public and Private Entertainments. 
 
 Paper cover. Price 50 cts. 
 
 Bound in boards, cloth back 'do cts. 
 
 Allyn's Ritual of Freemasonry. Containing a Complete 
 
 Key to the following Degrees: Degree of Entered Apprentice ; Degree of 
 Fellow Craft; Degree of Master Mason ; Degree of Mark Master; Degree 
 of Past Master; Degree of Excellent Master ; Degree of Koyal Arch; 
 lloyal Arch Chapter ; Degree of Royal Master; Degree of Select Master : 
 Degree of Super-Excellent Master ; Degree of Ark and Dove ; Degree of 
 Knights of Constantinople. Degree of 8ecret Monitor ; Degree of Heroine 
 of Jericho; Degreeof Knights of Three Kings ; Mediterranean Pass ; Order 
 of Knights of the lied Cross; Order of Knights Templar and Knights of 
 Malta; Knights of the Christian Mark, and Guards of the Conclave; 
 Knights of the Holy Sepulchre ; The Holy and Thrice Illustrious Order of 
 the Cross; Secret Master; Perfect Master; Intimate Secretary; Provost 
 and Judge ; Intendant of the Buildings, or Master in Israel; Elected 
 Knight3 of Nine; Elected Grand Mister; Sublime Knights Elected; 
 Grand Master Architect ; Knights of the Kinth Arcii ; Grand Elect, Per- 
 fect and Sublime Mason. Illustrated with 38 copper-plate engravings ; to 
 which is ad'lcd, a Kev to the Phi Beta Kappa, Oransre, and 6 d Fedon-s' 
 Societies. Br Avery Allvn, K. It. C. K. T. K. M., etcT 12mo, cloth. 
 Price * S5 OO 
 
 Charley White's Joke Book. Being a perfect Casket of 
 
 Fun, the first and only work of the kind ever published. Containing a full 
 expose of all the most laughable Jokes, "Witticisms, etc.. as told by the 
 celebrated Ethiopian Comedian. Charles "Whitk ; with full-page illustra- 
 tions of his most popular characters. 94 pages. Price 12 Cts. 
 
 Black Wit and Darkey Conversations. By Chakles 
 
 White. Containing a large collection of laughable Anecdotes. Jokes. 
 Stories, "Witticisms, and Darkey Conversations. Hlustrated with cuts of 
 the comedian in his best delineations I'd cts 
 
 Mother Shipton's Fortune Teller ; or, Future Fate foretold 
 
 by the Planet*. Being the 900 Answers of Pythagoras to the Questions of 
 Life's Destiny. Derived from the Mystic lumbers and Letters of the 
 Planets. Containing the Emblematic iuid Mystical Wheel of Fortune and 
 Pate, beautifully colored. Also, containing the Moon's good and evil influ- 
 ences on Mankind, compiled from the most ancient authorities, by the 
 Astrologer of the 19th Century. 16mo, 115 pages. Illuminated 
 «over 
 
 I paper 
 30 cts. 
 
Popular Boo£s eent Fres of Postage at tire Prices annexed. 
 Day's Book-keeping; Without a Master. Containing the 
 
 Rudiments of Book-keeping in Single ami Double Entry, together with the 
 
 E roper Forms and Rules lor opening and keeping Condensed and General 
 look Accounts. This -work is printed in a beautiful script type, and hence 
 combines the advantages of a handsome style of writing with its very sim- 
 ple and easily understood lessons in Look-keeping. It presents a facsimile 
 of a handsomely written set of account books — on a small scale, it is true, 
 but very neat "and pretty. This will enable the learner to improve his 
 hand-writing, while perfecting himself as an expert, or first-class account- 
 ant — which "is done by frequent practice. The book exhibits all the differ- 
 : ent forms of Accounts. Balance Sheets, Trial-Balance, Commercial and 
 Monetary Letters, Drafts, Notes, Credits, Orders, Inquiries, Replies, etc., 
 . etc., arranged in the script type exactly as they should be written for busi- 
 ness purposes. This feature makes the work invaluable as a book of refer- 
 ence. The several pages have explanations at the bottom, to assist the 
 learner, in small type. As a pattern for opening book-accounts it is especi- 
 ally valuable — particularly for those who are not well posted in the art. 
 Day's Book-keeping is the size of a regular quarto Account Book, and is 
 made to lie flat open, for convenience in~use. Price 50 CtS. 
 
 Blank Books for Day's Book-keepin?. We have for sale 
 
 Books of 96 pages each, ruled according to the patterns mentioned on page 
 3 of Day's Book-keeping, suitable for practice of the learner, viz. : No. ] — 
 For General Book-keeping, pages 4 and 5; for Cash Account on page 13; 
 for Day Book in Single EntryT pages 15 to 25. No 2 — For Condensed Ac- 
 counts* pages 9 and 10 ; for Cash Accounts, page 12 ; for Journal in Double 
 Entry, pages 34 to 43. No. 3 — For Ledgers 'in Double or Single Entry, 
 pages 26 to 44. Price, each 50 CtS- 
 
 How to Write a Composition. This original work will 
 
 be found a valuable aid in writing a composition on any topic. It lays 
 down plain directions for the division of a subject into its appropriate heads, 
 and for arranging them in their natural order, commencing with the simplest 
 theme and advancing progressively to the treatment of more complicated 
 subjects. The use oi this excellent hand-book will save the student the 
 manv hours of labor too often wasted in trying to write a plain composition. 
 It affords a perfect skeleton of each subject, with its headings or divisions 
 clearly defined, and each heading filled in with the ideas which the subject 
 suggests ; so that all the writer has to do, in order to produce a good com- 
 position, is to enlarge on them to suit his taste and inclination. 
 Bound in boards, cloth back. Price 50 Cts. 
 
 Nugent's Burlesane and Musical Acting 1 Charades. Contain- 
 ing ten Charades, all in different styles, two of which are easy and effective 
 Comic Parlor Operas, with Music and Pianoforte Accompaniments. These 
 Plays require no scenery, and the dialogue is short, witty, and easy to learn. 
 To encli Charade will be found an introductory note, containing hints for its 
 
 performance. Paper cover. Price 30 Cts. 
 
 Bound in boards, cloth back 50 Cts. 
 
 Snlosnaps and Snickerinsrs of Simon Snodgrass. These 
 
 funny and amusing stories are illustrative of Irish Droll eries7 Ludicrous Dutch 
 Blunders. Yankee Tricks and Dodges, Backwoods Boasting, Negro Comi- 
 calities, Perilous Pranks of Fisrhting Men, Frenchmen's Queer Mistakes, 
 and other phases of eccentric character to make a complete Medley of Wit 
 and Humor. Full of funny engravings. Price 25 CtS- 
 
 The Strange and Wonderful Adventures of Bachelor But- 
 terfly. Showing his Hairbreadth Escapes from fire and cold — 
 
 his being come over by a Widow with nine small children — and his firm 
 endurance of these and" other perils of a most extraordinary nature. The 
 whole illustrated, by about 200 engravings. Price 30 Cts. 
 
Popular Books sent Free of Postage at the Prices annexe*. 
 The Art and Etiquette of Making Love, a Manual of Love, 
 
 Courtship and Matrimony. Containing sensible advice in relation to all the 
 delicate situations and perplexing circumstances incidental to the tender 
 passion from the commencement of a courtship until after marriage; to- 
 gether with the duties to be fnllilled and the points of etiquette to be ob- 
 served by bridesmaids and groomsmen, and all other details of the 
 ■wedding ceremony; with many curious things concerning matrimony find 
 its consequences ; including a complete system of love telegraphy and hand- 
 kerchief flirtations, and a choice collection of sensible letters, suitable for all 
 the contingencies of k>ve and courtship; also, practical remarks on bashful- 
 ness. its prevention and cure. If young ladies or gentlemen want to know: 
 
 How to cure bashfulness, 
 
 How to commence a courtship. 
 
 How to carry on a handkerchief flirtation, 
 
 How to please a sweetheart or lover, 
 
 How to write a love-letter, 
 
 How to "pop the question." 
 
 How to act be/ore and after a proposal, 
 
 Hoiv to accept or reject a proposal, 
 
 How to break of an engagement, 
 
 How to act after an engagement ', 
 
 How to act as bridesmaid or groomsman, 
 
 Hoiv the etiquette of a tvedding and the after reception shouldbe observed, 
 Aud in fact, how to fulfdl every duty, and meet every contingency connected 
 "with courtship and matrimony, they will find it all clearly explained in this 
 
 book. Large 16mo , 176 pnges, paper cover. Price So cts. 
 
 Bound in boards, cloth back. Price 50 cts. 
 
 The Amateur Trapper and Trap-Maker's Guide, a com- 
 plete^ and carefully prepared treatise on the art of Trapping, Snaring and 
 letting : containing plain directions fur constructing the most approved 
 Traps. Snares. Nets, and Dead-Falls ; the best methods of applying them to 
 their various purposes ; and the mutt successful Baits for attracting all kinds 
 of Animals. Birds. &e., with their special uses in each case; introducing, also, 
 practical receipts for preparing Skins and Furs for Market, and for Tanning 
 them for future use; with concise but comprehensive instructions for Pre- 
 serving and Sturh'ug specimens of Birds and Animals in the most natural and 
 durable manner. The entire work is based on the experience of the most 
 successfid Trappers, and on information derived from other authentic pro- 
 fessional sources. By Stanley Harding. This comprehensive work is 
 embellished with fifty well drawn and emrraved illustrations: and these, 
 together with the clear explanations which accompany them, will enable 
 anybody of mo lerate comprehension to make and set any of the traps de- 
 scribed. It also gives the baits usually employed by the most successful 
 Hunters and Trappers, and exposes their secret methods of attracting aud 
 eatehing animals, birds, <fcc, with scarcely a possibility of failure. Large 
 
 16mo.. paper covers. Price 50 cts. 
 
 Bound in boards, cloth back 75 CIS. 
 
 Very Little Dialogues for Very Little Folks. Containing 
 
 forty-seven n-vr and original dialogues, with short and easy parts, almost 
 entirely in words of one syllable, suited to The capacity and comprehension 
 of very young children. This work has beenissued because it iv>°s d< manded 
 by thousands of parents and teachers who have long felt the in ed of such a 
 book. There are plenty of little boys and girls who want to 'speak a 
 piece." and here is a book full of exactly what they require— shoi't and easy 
 dialogues, made up of short, easy parts, on subjects that their li'tl? minds 
 can thoroughly understand, so that the speakers will find no difficulty in 
 committing their respective parts to memory, even before they have learned 
 
 to road. Paper covers. Price ' 30 ct3. 
 
 Bound in boards, cloth back • 50 Cts. 
 
Popular Book3 sent Free of Postage at tlie Prices annexed 
 Howard's Book of Drawing-Room Theatricals. A collec. 
 
 tion of twelve short and amusing plays in Oi\h act and one scene, specially 
 adapted ior private performances; with practical directions, lor their 
 preparation and management, fclome of the plays are adapted lor per-. 
 formers of one sex only. This book is just what is wanted by those who 
 purpose getting up an entertainment of private theatricals : it contains all 
 the ntcessary instructions for insuring complete success. 130 pages. 
 
 Paper cover. Price , 30 cts* 
 
 Bound in boards with cloth back 50 c tg; 
 
 Hudson's Private Theatricals for Home Performance. A 
 
 collection of Iluraoroiis Plays suitaole for an Amateur Entertainment, with 
 directions how to cany out a performance successfully. Some of the plays 
 in this collection are adapted for performance by males only, others require 
 only females for the east, and all of them are in one scene and one act, and 
 may be represented in any moderate sized parlor, without much prepara- 
 tion of costume or scenery. 180 pages. 
 
 Paper covers. Price , 30 cts- 
 
 Bound in boards with cloth back 50 cts- 
 
 The Art of Dressing Well. By Miss S. A. Frost. This 
 
 book is designed for ladies and gentlemen who desire to make a favorable 
 impression upon society, and is intended to meet the requirements of any 
 season, place, or time ; to offer such suggestions as will be valuable to thosa 
 just entering society ; to brides, for whose guidance a complete trousseau 
 is described ; to persons in mourning ; indeed, to every individual who pays 
 attention to the important objects of economy, style, and propriety of cos- 
 tume. 188 pages. 
 
 Paper covers. Price 30 cts 
 
 Bound in boards, cloth back 50 eta 
 
 How to Amuse an Evening Party. A complete collection 
 
 of Home Pecrcations, including Pound Games, Forfeits, Parlor Magic, 
 Puzzles, and Comic Diversions ; together with a great variety of Scientific 
 Recreations and Evening Amusements. Profusely illustrated with nearly 
 two hundred fine woodcuts. Here is family amusement for the million. 
 Here is parior or drawing-room entertainment, night after night, for a 
 whole winter A young man with this volume may render himself the btau 
 ideal of a delightful companion at every party. He may take the lead in 
 amusing the company, and wiitthe hearts of all the ladtes, and charm away 
 the obduracy of the stoniest-hearted parent, by his powers of entertainment. 
 
 Bound in ornamental paper cover. Price 30 cts. 
 
 Bound in boards, with cloth back. 50 cts- 
 
 Martine's Droll Dialogues and Laughable Recitations. 
 
 By Arthur Martine, author of " Martine's Letter- Writer,'' etc., etc. A 
 collection of Humorous Dialogues, Comic Recitations, Brilliant Burlesques. 
 Spirited Stump Speeches, and Ludicrous Earces, adapted for School Ceia- 
 brations and Home Amusement. 183 pages. 
 
 Paper covers. Price 30 cts^ 
 
 Bound in boards, with cloth back 50 cts« 
 
 Frost's Humorous and Exhibition Dialogues This is a 
 
 collection of sprightly original Dialogues, in Prose and Verse, intended to 
 be spoken at School Exhibitions. Some of the pieces are for boys, some for 
 girls, whale a number are designed to be used by both sexes. The Dialogues 
 are all good, and will recommend themselves to those who desire to hav« 
 innocent fun— the prevailing feature at a school celebration. 180 pages. 
 
 Paper cover. Price 30 ets- 
 
 Boirnd in board* ...50 eta 
 
Popular Books sent Free of Postage at the Prices annexed. 
 
 What Shall We Do To-Night? or, Social Amusements for 
 Evening 1'arties. This Elegant .book affords an almost inexhaustible 
 fund of Amusement for Evening Parties, Social Gatherings, and all Fes- 
 tive Occasions, ingeniously grouped togetner so as to furnisu complete and 
 ever-Vc:rvii»g entertainment lor Tweniy-ax Evenings. Its repertoire em- 
 braces all the best Pound and Forfeit Games, clearly described and ren- 
 dered perfectly plain by original and amusing examples ; interspersed w ita 
 a great variety of Ingenious Puzzles, Entertaining Tricks, and Innocent 
 Sells; new and original Musical and Vortical 1 astimes, Startling illu- 
 sions, and Mirth-provoking Exhibitions ; including complete directions and 
 text for performing Charades, Tableaux, Parlor Pantomimes, the world- 
 renowned Punch and Judy, Gallanty Shows, and original Shadow Partto- 
 iniines ; also, full information for the successful performance of Dramatis 
 Dialogues and Parlor Theatricals, with a selection of Original Pltys, etc., 
 written expressly for this work. It is embellished with over one hundred 
 descriptive and explanatory engravings, and contains 3G6 pages, printed 
 on line toned paper, 12mo, bound in extra cloth $2.00 
 
 EOW To Conduct a Debate. A Perie-; of Complete Debates, 
 Outlines of Debates, and Questions for Discussion ; with references to the 
 
 • best sources of information on each particular topic. In the Complete 
 Debates, the questions for discussion are defined, the debate formally 
 opened, an array of brilliant arguments adduced on either side, and the 
 debate closed according to Parliamentary usages. The second part con- 
 sists of Questions for Debate, with heads of arguments, for and against, 
 given in a condensed form for the speakers to enlarge upon to suit their 
 own fancy. In addition to these are a large collection of good Debatable 
 Questions. The authorities, to be referred to for informal ion, being given 
 at the close of every debate throughout the work. Ey Frederic Bowton. 
 
 232 pages, lb'mo, paper cover 50 C13, 
 
 Pound in boards, cloth back , 75 CtS. 
 
 HcBride's Comic Dialogues for Soft ool Exhibitions and Lit- 
 erary Entertainments. A collection of original Humorous Dialogues, est 
 pccially designed for the development and display of Amateur Dramatic 
 Talent, and introducing a varietv of sentimental, sprightly, comic, and 
 genuine Yankee characters. By H. Elliott McBride. 16mo, illuminated 
 
 paper cover .SO CtS. 
 
 Bound in boards 50 CtS. 
 
 The Fireside Magician: or, TJw Art of Natural Magic made 
 
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 iTrost's Original Letter- Writer, and Laws and By-Laws of 
 
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 Inquire Within for Anything you Want to Know; or, Over 
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 HOWARD'S RECITATIONS. 
 
 Comic, Serious and Pathetic. Being a carefully selected collec- 
 tion of fresh Recitations in Prose and Poetry, suitable for An- 
 niversaries, Exhibitions, Social Gatherings, and Evening Par- 
 ties; affordiug, also, an abundance of excellent material for 
 practice and declamation. Edited by Clarence J. Howard. 
 
 CONTENTS. 
 
 Miss Malony on the Chinese Ques- 
 tion. 
 
 Kit Carson's Ride. A fine descrip- 
 tive poetical recitation. 
 
 Buck Fanshaw's Funeral. 
 
 Knocked About. Monologue. 
 
 The Puzzled Dutchman. Dialect 
 
 Shamus O'Brien. Popular recitation 
 
 The Naughty Little Girl. Humorous. 
 
 The Bells of Shandon. Serious poem. 
 
 No Sect in Heaven. A dream. 
 
 Rory O'More's Present to the Priest. 
 
 " Mother's Fool." A Recitation. 
 
 Queen Elizabeth. A comic oration. 
 
 The Starling. A recitation. 
 
 Lord Dundreary's Riddle. 
 
 The Stuttering Lass. Amusing re- 
 cital. 
 
 The Irish Traveler. Humorous piece. 
 
 The Remedy as Bad as the Disease. 
 
 A Subject for Dissection. 
 
 The Heathen Chinee. 
 
 Mona's "Waters. Pathetic recitation. 
 
 A Showman on the Woodchuck. 
 
 How Happy I'll Be. Moral recitation. 
 
 A Frenchman's Account of the Fall. 
 
 Isabel's Grave. Pathetic recitation. 
 
 The Parson and the Spaniel. 
 
 An Lishman's Letter. 
 
 An Affectionate Letter. Irish style. 
 
 The Halibut in Love. 
 
 The Merry Soap-Boiler. 
 
 The Unbeliever. A solemn recitation 
 
 The Voices at the Throne. 
 
 Lord Dundreary Proposing. A very 
 comic recitation. 
 
 The Fireman. Descriptive piece. 
 
 Paul Revere's Ride. 
 
 Annie and "Willie's Prayer. Pathetic 
 
 A Frenchman on Macbeth. 
 
 The New Church Organ. 
 
 Katrina Likes Me Poody Veil. Hu 
 raorous Ditty in Dutch dialect. 
 
 How to Save a Thousand Pounds. 
 
 How I Got Invited to Dinner. 
 
 Patient Joe. A serious recitation. 
 
 Jimmy Butler and the Owl. 
 
 The Menagerie. A wild beast show. 
 
 Old Quizzle, 
 
 The Infidel and Quaker. Recitation. 
 
 The Lawyer and the Chimney- 
 sweeper. 
 
 Bill Mason's Bride. A railroad yarn. 
 
 Judging by Appearances. 
 
 The Death's Head ; or. Honesty the 
 best Policy. 
 
 Betsey and i are Out. 
 
 Betsey Destroys the Paper. 
 
 Father Blake's* Collection. 
 
 Blank Verse in Rhyme. 
 
 Roguery Taught by Confession. 
 
 Banty Tim. 
 
 Antony and Cleopatra. 
 
 Deacon Hezekiah. Description of a 
 Sanctimonious Hypocrite. 
 
 The Frenchman and the Landlord. 
 
 The Family Quarrel. A dialogue on 
 the Sixteenth Amendment, 
 
 The Guess. Old English Recitation. 
 
 The Atheist and Acorn. 
 
 Brother "Watkins Farewell of a 
 Southern Mi ulster. 
 
 Hans in a Fix. A Dutchman's dream 
 of Matrimony. 
 
 To-Morrow. Poetical recitation. 
 
 The Highgate Butcher. 
 
 The Lucky Call. The Lost Spectacles. 
 
 Challenging the Foreman. 
 
 The Country Schoolmaster. 
 
 The Matrimonial Bugs and the Trav- 
 elers. 
 
 Peter Sorghum in Love. Yankee 
 story. 
 
 Tim Tuff. A sharp bargain. 
 
 The Romance of Nick Van Stann- 
 
 The Debating Society. Recitation. 
 
 Deacon Stokes. 
 
 A Tribute to our Honored Dead. 
 
 The Dying Soldier. Pathetic poetry. 
 
 The Yankee Fireside. Yankee 
 sketches of character. 
 
 The Suicidal Cat. An affecting tale. 
 
 The Son's "Wish. A dying father's 
 bequest. 
 
 Ifimo. 180pages. Paper covers. Price 30 cts. 
 
 Bound in boards, cloth back 50 Cts, 
 
Popular Books sent Free of Postage at the Prices annexed. 
 BEECHER'S RECITATIONS 
 
 READINGS. 
 Humorous, Serious, Dramatic, including Prose and Poetical 
 Selections in Dutch, French, Yankee, Irish, Backwoods, Negro 
 and other Dialects. Edited by Alvah C. Beecher. This excel- 
 lent selection has been compiled to meet a growing demand for 
 Public Eeadings, and contains a number of the favorite pieces 
 that have been rendered with telling effect bj the most popular 
 Public Readers of the present time. It includes, also, choice 
 selections for Eecitations, and is, therefore, admirably adapted 
 lor use at Evening Entertainments, Sehool Celebrations, and 
 other Festival occasions. 
 
 NTS. 
 
 The Glove a nil tlie Lions, 
 
 I Yant to FJy. 
 
 That Dog of Jim SanSer's. 
 
 The Story of the Faftbtal Soul. 
 ■ "MyNewPittnyateos." Character- 
 istic. 
 
 Mary Ann's "Wedding-. 
 
 An Inquiring Yankee; 
 
 The Three Bells. Story of a Ship 
 wreck. 
 
 Love in a Balloon. 
 
 Mrs. Brown on the State of the 
 Streets. 
 
 Shoo Flies. "Excelsior" in Dutch. 
 
 Discourse by the Key. Mr. Bosan. 
 
 Without the Children. Pathetic 
 
 Signer BiHsmethi's Dancing Acad- 
 emy. 
 
 Der Goot Lookin Shnow. Parody, 
 
 The Celebrated Jumping Frog. 
 
 The Lost Chord. A Memory of the 
 Past. 
 
 The Tale of a Leg. An Amusing 
 Storr. 
 
 That West-side Dog. . 
 
 How Dennis Took the Pledge. 
 
 TheFisherznan's Summons. Pathetic 
 
 Badger's Debut as Hamlet. 
 
 How Hezekiah Stole the Spoons. 
 
 Paddy's Dream. 
 
 Yictuals and Drink. 
 
 How Jake Schneider Went Bfind. 
 
 Aurelia's Unfortunate Young Man. 
 
 Mrs. Brown on Modem Houses. 
 
 Farm Yard Song. Country Seene. 
 
 Murphy's Pork Barrel Mys'tery. 
 
 The Prayer Seeker. Pathetic Poem. 
 
 An Extraordinary Phenomenon. 
 
 The Case of Young Bangs. 
 
 A Male Bide in Florida. 
 
 Bhree Sbkaders. A Dutch Ditty. 
 
 30 cte, 
 
 .- . .50 cts. 
 
 COST1 
 
 Miss Maloney goes to the Dentist. 
 
 Lost and Found. Pathetic 
 
 Mygel Snyder's Barty. 
 
 Magdalena ; or. the Spanish Duel. 
 
 Jim Wolfe and the Cats. 
 
 The Woolen Doll. A Maniac's Story. 
 
 The Charity Dinner. A Character- 
 istic Heading. 
 
 Go-Moitow ; or, Lot's Wife. Negro 
 Conversation on Religion. 
 
 The Wind and the Moon. Recitation. 
 
 Dym' Words of Isaac. 
 
 Maude Mnller in Dutch. 
 
 Moses the Sassy ; or, the Disguised 
 Duke. Burlesque style. 
 
 The Yarn of the " Naney Bell." 
 
 Paddy the Piper. Irish Narrative. 
 
 Schneider sees " Leah." 
 
 Caldwell of Springfield. A Story. 
 
 Artemns Ward's Panorama. 
 
 Sorrowful Tale of a Servant Girt. 
 
 How a Frenchman Entertained John 
 Bull. 
 
 Tiamondts on der Prain. 
 
 King Robert of Sicily. A Dream. 
 
 Gloverson the Mormon. 
 
 De Pint wid Ole Pete. Negro Dialect. 
 
 Pat and the Pig. An Irish Story. 
 
 The Widow Bedott's Letter to Elder 
 Sniffles. Characteristic 
 
 The Cry of the Children. 
 
 The Dutchman and the Small-pox. 
 
 Sculpin. A Yankee Anecdote. 
 
 Hats. Descriptive Recitation. 
 
 An Introduction. A Reader Intro- 
 duces Himself to an Audience. 
 
 A Dntchman's Dolly Yarden. 
 
 u Roek of Ages. " A Beautiful Poem. 
 
 Feeding the Black FiJIies. Irish. 
 
 The Hornet. Its Manners and Cus- 
 toms. 
 
 Paper covers. Price 
 
 Bound in boards, cloth back. 
 
Popular Books sent Free of Postage at the Prices annexed- 
 
 WILSON'S BOOK OF RECITATIONS 
 
 DIALOGUES. 
 
 "With instructions in Elocution and Declamation. Containing a 
 choice selection of Poetical and Prose Recitations and Original 
 Colloquies. Designed as an Assistant to Teachers and Students 
 in preparing Exhibitions. By Floyd B. TVilson, Professor of 
 Elocution. 
 
 CONT 
 
 Address at the Dedication of tlie 
 Cemetery at Gettysburg. 
 
 Sheridan's *Ride. 
 
 There's but One Pair of Stockings to 
 Mend To-night. 
 
 Modulation. Poetical Instruction. 
 
 The Drummer Bov's Burial. 
 
 The Pilot. A Thrilling Incident. 
 
 The Soldier's Return. Colloquy for 
 5 males and 2 females. 
 
 Burial of the Champion of his Class 
 at Yale College. 
 
 Scott and the Veteran. Poetical 
 
 Barbara Frietchie. 
 
 I Wouldn't— Would You? 
 
 The Professor Puzzled. Amusing 
 Colloquy for 2 males. 
 
 Thnnatopsis. Popular Recitation. 
 
 The Two Roads. A Declamation. 
 
 The Pawnbroker's Shop. Descrip- 
 tive Poem. 
 
 The Sophomore's Soliloquy. 
 
 The Nations Hymn. Patriotic. 
 
 Address to a Skeleton. Didactic. 
 
 A Glass of Cold Water. Temper- 
 ance. 
 
 Hew Year's Eve. little Greichen. 
 
 The Song of Sherman's Army. 
 
 The Sea Captain's Story. 
 
 Our Heroes. Patriotic. 
 
 The Closing Year. Didactic 
 
 Burial of Little Nell. 
 
 The Picket-Guard. Poetical. 
 
 The Poor Man and the Fiend. 
 
 Our Country's Call. Patriotic. 
 
 The Orphan's Triumph. Colloquy 
 for 6 females. 
 
 Poem read at the Founding of Get- 
 tysburg Monument. . 
 
 Spartacus to the Gladiators. 
 
 Sobloquy of the Dving Alchemist. 
 
 Reconstruction. Colloquy for 5 males 
 and 1 female. 
 
 Unjust National Acquisition. 
 
 Dimes and Dollars. 
 
 The Dead Drummer Boy. 
 
 ENTS. 
 
 Home. Popular Recitation. 
 
 Responsibility of American Citizens. 
 An Oration. 
 
 The Smack in School. Humorous- 
 Left on the Battle-Field. Pathetic, 
 
 The American Flag. Patriotic. 
 
 Oh ! Why should the Spirit of Mortal 
 be Proud ? 
 
 Parrhasius. Descriptive Poem. 
 
 The Vagabonds. Roger and I. 
 
 A Bridal Wine-Cup. Temperance. 
 
 Blanche of Devan's Last Words. 
 
 Widow Bedoti to Eider Sniffles. 
 
 A Psalm of the Union. Patriotic. 
 
 Charge of a Dutch Magistrate. 
 
 Stars in my Country's bky. 
 
 Bingen on the Rhine. 
 
 Religions Character of President 
 Lincoln. 
 
 Tlie Raven. Poetical Recitation. 
 
 The Loyal Legion. Festival Poem. 
 
 Agnes and the Veal's. Didactic. 
 
 Catiline's Defiance. Poetical. 
 
 Our Folks. A Poem of the Camp. 
 
 The Beautiful Snow. 
 
 The Ambitious Youth. Descriptive. 
 
 The Flag of Washington. Patriotic 
 
 The Abbot of Waltham. Humorous. 
 
 Ode to an Infant Son. 
 
 The Scholar's Mission. Speech. 
 
 Claude MeJnotte's Apology and De- 
 fense. 
 
 The Forging of the Anchor. 
 
 The Wreck of the Hesperus. 
 
 The Man of Ross. A Poem. 
 
 No Work the Hardest Work. 
 
 What is Time ? Didactic Poem. 
 
 Brutus' Oration over the Body of Lu- 
 cretia. 
 
 What is Thai, Mother? 
 
 A Colloquy with Myself. 
 
 Saint Philip Neri and the Youth. 
 
 The Chameleon. A Fable. 
 
 Henry the Fourth's Soliloquy on 
 Sleep. 
 
 On Procrastination. Recitation. 
 
 Pn per covers. Price 30 cts. 
 
 Bound in boards, cloth back ,,..,., 50 cts. 
 
Popular Books sent Free of Postage at the Prices annexed. 
 SPENCER'S BOOK OF COMIC SPEECHES 
 
 AA'D 
 
 HUMOROUS RECITATIONS. 
 
 A collection of Comic Speeches and Dialogues, Humorous Prose 
 and Poetical Recitations, Laughable Dramatic Scenes and Bur- 
 lesques, and Eccentric Characteristic Soliloquies and Stories. 
 Suitable for School Exhibitions and Evening Entertainments. 
 Edited by Albert J. Spencer. 
 
 CONTENTS. 
 The Yankee Landlord. 
 His Eye -was Stern and Wild. 
 The Goddess of Slang. Comic. 
 Dick, the Apothecary's Apprentice. 
 Courting in French Hollow. Dialect 
 
 Eecital. 
 The Case Altered. 
 The Eos and the Eanger. Dialect 
 
 Dialogue for 2 male3. 
 The Declaration. 
 The Warrantee Deed. Comic Song 
 
 or Eecitation ; with Chorus. 
 A Night's Adventure. Thrilling. 
 Julia. Comic Love Scene. 
 Saying not Meaning. Humorous. 
 16.000 Years Ago. Negro Burlesque 
 
 for 3 males. 
 The Nimmers. Degrees of Crime. 
 Gucom and the Back-log. 
 Widow Bedott's Mistake. Dialogue 
 
 for 1 raa^e and 1 female. 
 Categorical Courtship. How a Bash- 
 ful Lover " popped the Question." 
 Mr. Artemns Ward crossing Dixie. 
 My Last Shirt. Pathetic Ehap- 
 
 sody. 
 The Three Black Crows. 
 The Barber's Shop. Eor 2 males. 
 Paddy O'Eafther. Irish Dialect. 
 Decidedly Cool. Scene for 2 males 
 
 and 1 female. 
 The Frenchman and the Eats. 
 The Jester Condemned to Death. 
 Kindred Quacks. Physic and Divi- 
 nity. 
 Hans Breitmann's Party. Dialect. 
 The Generous Frenchman. Dialect. 
 Saint Jonathan. A Poem of to-day. 
 Stump speech. Highfalutin' Style. 
 The Eival Lodgers. Farce for 2 
 
 males and 1 female. 
 The Frenchman and the Mosquitoes. 
 The Maiden's Mishap. 
 The Eemoval. An Amusing Eecital. 
 Talking Latin. Characteristic. 
 Praying for Eain. 
 
 Paper covers. Price 
 
 Bound ia boards, cloth back 
 
 The Darkey Photographer. Negyo 
 scene for*3 males." 
 
 Paddy and his' Musket. Fnnny. 
 
 Hezekiah Bedott. Gossipy Style. 
 
 Hncle Eenben's Tale. 
 
 Mr. Caudle has been to Greenwich 
 Fair. 
 
 The Chemist and his Love. 
 
 The Disgusted Dutchman. Dialect 
 Dialogue for 3 males. 
 
 The Frightened Traveler. An Ad- 
 venture. 
 
 Economy. The Jewess and her Son. 
 
 Clerical Wit. True Lies. 
 
 The School House. Descriptive Piece. 
 
 Daniel verms Dish clout. 
 
 Spectacles, or Helps to Eead. 
 
 The Pig. Colloquial Poem in praise 
 of this much despised animal. 
 
 A Stray Parrot. Farce for 1 male 
 and 2" females. 
 
 Dame Fredegonde. A Priest's advice. 
 
 Toby Tosspot. Convivial Adventure. 
 
 Courtship and Matrimony. 
 
 Eings and Seals. Poetical. 
 
 The Biter Bit. A Wail of the For- 
 saken. 
 
 Pat and the Gridiron. Amusing 
 Dialect Eecitation. 
 
 The Barmecide's Feast. Burlesque 
 for 5 males, with directions. 
 
 The Country Pedagogue. Descrip- 
 tive Sketch after Nature. 
 
 The Middle-aged Man and Two Wid- 
 ows. 
 
 The Saratoga Waiter. Funny Negro 
 Scene for 2 males. 
 
 The Wrangling Pair. A Monologue. 
 
 A Connubial " Eclogue. Poetical 
 Dialogue for I male and 1 female. 
 
 The Italian from Cork. Scene in a 
 Justice's Court, for 3 males. 
 
 Gasper Schnapps' Exploit. A Brag- 
 gart's Boast. 
 
 Epilogue. Suitable for conclusion of 
 an Entertainment. 
 
 30 cts. 
 
 50 cts. 
 
Popular Books sent Free of Postage at the Prices annexed. 
 MARTINE'S DROLL DIALOGUES 
 
 LAUGHABLE RECITATIONS. 
 
 By Arthur Martine, author of "Martine's Letter- Writer/' etc., 
 etc. A collection of Humorous Dialogues, Comic Recitations, 
 Brilliant Burlesque, Spirited Stump Speeches aud Ludicrous 
 Farces, adapted ibr School and other Celebrations and for Home 
 Amusement. 
 
 COXTENTS. 
 
 Hints to Amateur Performers in Par- 
 lor Theatricals. 
 
 Explanation of Stage Directions, 
 with Diagram. 
 
 Prelude to an Evening's Eecitations. 
 Humorous Poetical Address. 
 
 The Bell and the Gong. Original 
 Humorous Eeeitation. 
 
 Mrs. Dove's Boarding House. Origi- 
 nal Amusing Eeeitation. 
 
 The Wilkins Family. A Eeeitation 
 fall of Puns and Jokes. 
 
 •The Lawyer's Stratagem. How he 
 tricked the Squire. 
 
 Eulogy on Laughing. A wen-known 
 popular Eeeitation. 
 
 Drawing a Long Bow. Dramatic 
 Dialogue for 3 males and 1 female. 
 
 "Woman. The Origin of "Woman's 
 Ascendency overMan. 
 
 Yeny Earner's Bear Story. A 
 thrilling characteristic narration. 
 
 The Game of Life. The Moral Ap- 
 plication of a game at Euchre. 
 
 The Fortune Hunter. Laughable 
 Dialogue for 2 males and 3 females. 
 
 The Parson and the Widow. A 
 short, Poetical Eeeitation. 
 
 Hezekiah Stub bins' Fourth of July 
 Oration. A Yankee Stump Speech. 
 
 Make your Wills. Ludicrous Farce 
 for 7* male characters. 
 
 Mr. Eogers and Monsieur Denise. A 
 celebrated Comic Eeeitation. 
 
 The Darkey Debating Society. Ethi- 
 opian Dialogue for 2 males*. 
 
 The Scandal Monger.' Dramatic 
 Dialogue for 2 males and 2 females. 
 
 Poor Eichard's Sayings. With An- 
 notations by Lord Dundreary. 
 
 Prologue to ir The Apprentice." 
 
 Address in the character of " Hope." 
 A Prologue for an Entertainment. 
 
 Parody on the Declaration of Inde- 
 pendence. ■ 
 
 Bombastes Furioso. A Burlesque 
 
 for 7 males. 
 Characteristic Address. The wail 
 
 of a Printer's Devil. 
 Examining de Bumps. Ethiopian 
 
 Dialogue for 2 males. 
 Election Stump Speech. Addressed 
 
 to the Electors of Wethersfield. 
 A Matrimonial Tiff. Characteristic 
 
 Dialogue for 1 male and 2 females. 
 The Frenchman and the Sheep's 
 
 Trotters. Comic Eeeitation. 
 The Poor Eelation; or, Love Me. 
 
 Love my Dog. Comic Drama for 
 
 7 males. 
 Yat you Please. Experiences of two 
 
 Frenchmen in England. 
 The Babes in the Wood. Burlesque 
 
 for 3 males and 4 females. 
 My Aunt. Poetical Eeeitation. 
 Handy Andy's Little Mistakes. 
 
 Laughable Irish Story. 
 The Cat Eater. Comic Eeeitation. 
 A Shocking Mistake. Dialogue for 
 
 3 males and 2 females. 
 Wanted a Governess. A satirically 
 
 comic Eeeitation. 
 The Rival Broom Makers. Comic 
 
 Eeeitation. 
 Paudeen O'Bafferty's Say-Yoyage. 
 
 Laughable Lish Eeeitation. 
 Mr. Caudle's Wedding Dinner. A 
 
 Curtain Lecture. 
 Our Cousins. Negro Dialogue for 2 
 
 'male characters. 
 Mr. Caudle has been made a Mason. 
 
 Curtain Lecture. 
 Address of Sergeant Buzfuz at the 
 
 Trial of Pickwick. 
 The Wonderful Whalers. A very 
 
 surprising narrative. 
 Sam Weber's Valentine. Character 
 
 Dialogue for 2 males. 
 Job Trotter's Secret. Amusing Dia- 
 logue, for 3 males. 
 
 188pages. Paper covers. Price 30 cts. 
 
 Bound in boards, cloth back... ' 50 eta, 
 
I^pular Books sent Free of Postage at the Prices annexed. 
 BARTON'S COMIC RECITATIONS 
 
 HUMOROUS DIALOGUES. 
 
 Containing a variety of Comic Recitations in Prose and Poetry, 
 Amusing Dialogues, Burlesque Scenes, Eccentric Orations, 
 Humorous Interludes and Laughable Farces. Designed fur 
 School Commencements and Amateur Theatricals. Edited by 
 Jerome Barton. 
 
 CONTENTS. 
 
 •fhe Stage-Struck Hero. A Ranting 
 
 Poetical Recitation. 
 Here She Goes — and There She Goes, 
 pastor M'Knock's Address against 
 
 the Sin of Tippling. 
 Old Sugar's Courtship. 
 The Bachelor's Reasons for Taking a 
 
 Wife. A Poetical Recitation. 
 The Spanish Valet and the Waiting 
 
 Maid. Dialogue for 1 male and 1 
 
 female. 
 The Jackdaw of Rheims. Recitation. 
 Jonathan and the Englishman. 
 Artemus Ward's Trip to Europe. 
 
 Very Humorous Recitation. 
 The Auctioneer and the Lawyer. 
 Mr. and Mrs. Skinner. 
 The Bachelor and the Bride. 
 The Drunkard and his Wife. 
 A Western Lawyer's Plea against 
 
 the Fact. 
 Reading a Tragedy. Declamation. 
 Cast-off Garments. An Extract from 
 
 " Nothing to Wear." 
 How to Cure a Cough. 
 The Soldier's Return. Ethiopian 
 
 Dialogue for 2 males. 
 The Countrymen and the Ass. An 
 
 excellent Fable. 
 Come and Go. Poetical Recitation. 
 How they Pop the Question. Reci- 
 tation for Mimicry. 
 The Clever Idiot. Poetical. 
 The Knights; or, Both Right and 
 
 Both Wrong. An Excellent Fable. 
 How the Lawyer got a Patron Saint. 
 Josh Billings on Laughing. 
 The Night after Christmas. 
 A Change of System. A Parlor 
 
 Comedy for J males and 1 female. 
 The Citizen and the Thieves. 
 Boggs's Dogs. A Profitable Trade. 
 The Smack in School. 
 
 The Tinker and the Miller's Daughter 
 
 An Original Parody. Recitation. 
 
 The Parsons and the Corkscrew. 
 Humorous Recitation. 
 
 The Old Gentleman who Married a 
 Young Wife. Dialogue for 1 male 
 and 1 female. 
 
 The Stage-Struck Darkey. Ethiopian 
 Interlude for males. 
 
 Goody Grim versus Lapstone. Dia- 
 logue for 4 males. 
 
 The Woman of Mind. Recitation. ■ 
 
 Nursery Reminiscences. 
 
 A Martyr to Science : or, Wanted— 
 A Confederate. Farce for 4 males. 
 
 Lodgings for Single Gentlemen. 
 
 The'Farmer and the Counsellor. 
 
 The Pugilists. A Striking Tale. 
 
 How Pat Saved his Bacon. Charac- 
 teristic Narrative. 
 
 The Irish Drummer. AStoryoftho 
 Lash. 
 
 Mike Hooter's Bear Story. A Dia- 
 lect Recitation. 
 
 The Critic. Humorous Recitation. 
 
 Mr. Caudle Wants a Latch-key. 
 
 Humbugging a Tourist. Character 
 Dialogue for 3 males. 
 
 The Widow's Victim. Ethiopian In- 
 terlude for 2 males and 1 female. . 
 
 Josh Billings on the Mide. 
 
 The Tinker and the Glazier. 
 
 Wonderful Dream. Negro Dialogue 
 for 2 males. 
 
 An Occasional Address. For a Lady's 
 First Appearance. 
 
 An Occasional Prologue. For Open- 
 ing a Performance. 
 
 Address on Closing a Performance. 
 
 A Prologue for a Performance by 
 Boys. 
 
 An Epilogue for a School Perform- 
 ance. 
 
 This is one of the best collection of Humorous Pieces especially adapted to 
 the Parlor Stage that has ever been published. 16 mo. 180 pages. 
 
 Paper covers. Price 30 cts. 
 
 Bound in boards, cloth back 50 CtS, 
 
Popular Books sent Free of Postage at the Prices annexed. 
 BRUDDER BONES' BOOK OF STUMP SPEECHES 
 
 AND 
 
 BURLESOTE ORATIONS. 
 
 Also containing Eumorons Lectures, Ethiopian Dialogues, Plan- 
 tation Scenes, Negro Farces and Burlesques, Laughable inter- 
 ludes and Comic Recitations. Compiled and edited by John P. 
 Scott. 
 
 CONTENTS. 
 
 If I may so Speak. Burlesque Ora- 
 tion. 
 Dr. Pillsbury's Lecture on Politics. 
 Vegetable Poetry. Dialogue for 2 
 
 males. 
 Teco Brag's Lecture on Astronomy. 
 "We saw Her but a Moment. 
 Stocks Up, Stocks Down. Darkey 
 
 dialogue for 2 males. 
 Brudder Bones' Love Scrapes. 
 Stump Speech; or. "Any other Man." 
 War's your Hoss. Dialogue Recital. 
 Geology. Dialogue for 2 males. 
 Tin-pan-o-ni-on. Pantomime for 
 
 Leader and Orchestra. 
 Dr. Puff Stuffs Lecture on Patent 
 
 Medicines. 
 Sailing. Dialogue for 2 males. 
 Challenge Dauce. Ethiopian Act for 
 
 3 males. 
 Lecture on Bad Boys. An amusing 
 
 Recitation. 
 Tony Pastor's Great Union Speech. 
 A Tough Boarding House. Conver- 
 sation between 2 Darkeys. 
 Sleeping Child. Dialogue tor 2 males. 
 Ain 1 1 Right, Eh ? Speech. 
 Wonderful Egg. Darkey Dialogue 
 
 for 2 males. 
 A Bootblack's Soliloquy. Darkey. 
 Lecture to a Fire Company. 
 Julius' Peaches. Dialogue for 2 Dar- 
 keys. 
 De Trouble Begins at Nine. 
 The Arkansas' Traveler. Dialogue 
 
 for 2 Violin players. 
 Slap Jack. Dialogue for 2 Darkeys. 
 Demi-Semi-Centennial Turkey-town 
 
 Celebration. An Oration. 
 Uncle Steve's Stump Speech. 
 A Midnight Murder. Thrilling. 
 Dat's What's de Matter. 
 The Freezing Bed Feller. Recitation. 
 Mr. and Mrs. Wilkins. 
 Paddy Fagan's Pedigree. 
 The Rival Darkeys. Act for 2 males. 
 Hans Sourcrout on Signs and Omens. 
 Hun-ki-do-ris Fourth of July Oration. 
 
 16 mo. 188 pages. Paper covers. Price 30 cts. 
 
 Bound in boards, illuminated 50 ct3. 
 
 Josh Billiners on Mosquitoes. 
 Romantic History of Cap. John Smith. 
 A Speech on Women. Humorous. 
 An Impulsive Peroration. 
 The Bet. Dialogue for 2 Darkeys. 
 Old Times gone By. Dialogue with 
 
 songs for 2 Darkeys. 
 The Echo. ■ Act for 2 Negroes. 
 Sol Slocum's Bugle. Dialect. 
 Western Stump Speech. Highfalutin'. 
 In the Show Business. Short Dia- 
 logue for 2 males. 
 ' ' We are. " Favorite Stump Oration. 
 An Original Burlesque Oration. 
 Waiting to see Him off. For 2 males. 
 Patriotic Stump Speech. 
 De Railroad Accident. Dialogue for 
 
 2 Darkeys. 
 The Dutchman's Lecture on the War. 
 Professor Unworth's Atlantic Cable 
 
 Lecture. 
 The Three old Ladies. Recitation. 
 Josh Billings' Lecture onto Mnsick. 
 The Misfortunes of Brudder Bones' 
 Lady- Love. Dialogue for 2 males. 
 Deaf— In a Horn. Act for 2 males. 
 Or any oder Man's Dog. A Speech. 
 Happy Uncle Tom. Plautation Scene. 
 .Stick a Pin dere, Brudder Horace. 
 Burlesque Lecture on Woman's 
 
 Rights. 
 Dat's wot de "Ledger" says. Dia- 
 logue for two Darkeys. 
 Goose Hollow Stump Speech. 
 De Milk in de Cocoa Nut. 
 A Dutchman's Answer. 
 Lecture on Cats. Humorous. 
 The Patent Screw; or, How to be Re- 
 venged. 
 The Auctioneer. Characteristic. 
 Hints on Courtship. To Young Men. 
 A Dutch Recruiting Officer. 
 Spirit Rappings. "Roaring Darkey 
 
 Dialogue for 2 males. 
 Dar'sde Money. From "Othello." 
 Let Her Rip. Burlesque. Lecture. 
 The Stranger. Ethiopian Scene for 
 1 male and 1 female. 
 
Popular Books sent Free of Postage at the Prices annexed. 
 
 The Finger-post to Public Business. Containing the 
 
 mode of forming' and conducting Societies, Clubs, and other Organized 
 Associations ; full Kules of Order for the government; of their debates and 
 business ; Models of Constitutions, for Lyceums, Institutes, and other So- 
 cieties. With rules of Cricket, Base-ball, Shinny, Quoits, Yachting and 
 Rowing, and Instructions concerning Incorporations. Hints about Libra- 
 ries and Museums, with a Catalogue of desirable Books, and a List of 
 American Coins ; and Rules for the collection and preservation of books, 
 ilSS., and objects of Curiosity. Rules for Debating, and a selection of 
 epecimens of style from various American orators. Together with an ap- 
 pendix, containing the original Articles of Confederation of the United 
 States, the Constitution, the celebrated Virginia and Kentucky Resolutions, 
 and other documents of reference. By an Ex-Member of the Philadelphia 
 Bar. 12mo., cloth. Price tl 50 
 
 That's It; or, Plain Teaching. By the author of "Inquire 
 
 "Within," " The Reason Why," etc. Illustrated with over 1200 wood-cuts. 
 12mo., cloth, gilt side and back. This book is a perfect encyclopedia of 
 universal information upon things common and uncommon, "found in na- 
 ture, art and science. The whole visible world is swept within the circuit 
 of its touch, and the subjects are illustrated by wood engravings of an ex- 
 cellent character, done in a high style of that art. It is a library in itself, 
 and to a lad or miss of an inquiring turn of mind, it is a perfect Aladdin's 
 palace of useful and interesting information. Price. gjl 50 
 
 The Reason Why: Natural History, By the author of 
 
 " Inquire Within," " The Biblical Reason Why," etc. This volume an- 
 swers about 1,500 questions, giving Reasons for hundreds of curious and 
 interesting facts in connection with Natural History, and throwing a light 
 upon the peculiar habits and instincts of the various orders of the Animal 
 Kingdom. More real knowledge can be obtained from this book than from 
 twenty dry works on the same subject. 
 12mo., cloth, gilt side and back. Price $1 50 
 
 Biblical Reason Why. A Hand-book for Biblical Stu- 
 
 dents, and a Guide to Family Scripture Readings. Beautifully illustrated. 
 Large 12mo., cloth, gilt side and back. This work gives 1,494 Reasons, 
 founded upon the Bible, and assigned by the most eminent Divines and 
 Christian Philosophers, for the great and all-absorbing events recorded ir 
 the History of the Bible, the Life of our Saviour and the Acts of his Apos- 
 tles. Price SI 50 
 
 The Lady's Manual of Fancy Work. A Complete In- 
 structor in every variety of Ornamental Needle-work, with a list of mate- 
 rials and hints for their selection ; advice on making up and trimming. By 
 Mr3. Pullan, Director of the Work-table of Frank Leslie's Magazine, etc. 
 Illustrated with over 300 engravings, by the best artists, with eight large 
 pattern plates, elegantly printed in colors, on tinted paper. Large octavo, 
 beautifully bound in cloth, with gilt side and back stamp. Price — $2 00 
 
 Harp Of a Thousand Strings ; or, Laughter for a Lifetime. 
 A large book of nearly 400 pages. By the author of Mrs. Partington's 
 Carpet-bag of Fun. Bound in a handsome gilt cover ; ocntaining more 
 than a million laughs, and crowded full of funny stories, besides being 
 illustrated with over 200 comical engravings, bv Darley, McLennan, Bellew, 
 etc. Price $1 50 
 
 The Dictionary Of Love. Containing a Definition of all 
 the Terms used in Courtship, with rare quotations from Poets of all Na- 
 tions, together with specimens of curious Model Love Letters, and many 
 other interesting matters appertaining to Love, never before published. 
 i2mo., cloth, gilt side and back. Price $1 50 
 
LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 
 
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 027 211 314 2 
 
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 ]N(ew York: 
 
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