PRICE TWENTY-FIVE CENTS I come.die:s and dramas | f 15 CENTS EACH jK 25 M. F. JK % ALL THAT GLITTERS IS NOT GOLD (The Factory Girl). Comic JjJ fl^ Drama of great force ; 2 acts ; 2 hours 6 3 ;jff (^ ARABIAN NIGHTS, THE. Farcical comedy ; always a great success with ^'f ^JN amateurs ; 3 acts ; 2% hours 4 5 \f/ vTy BARBARA. Drama; well-written romantic story with touches of genuine Jk humor ; i act ; 50 minutes Vr llUlllUl . 1 ai-L ) ^VJ illlllULCO ^ -^ ^1^ ^IS BETSY. Farcical comedy; keeps audience in roars of laughter to final cur- ^f ^|\ tain ; 3 acts ; 2^ hours 7 6 ^f^ /ft BETWEEN TWO FIRES. Military drama : 3 acts , 2 hours 8 3 \j> iX BROKEN PROMISES. Strong temperance play of unflagging interest, VK vx relieved with much eccentric humor ; 5 acts ; \% hours 6 3 -K /[> BY FORCE OF IMPULSE. (Off to the War.) Military drama ; comic yf/ /^\ and emotional ; 5 acts ; 2 J^ hours Q 3 y|/i w CASTE. Comedy that always delights the public ; 3 acts ; 2^^ hours 5 3 V|^ ij; CRAWFORD'S CLAIM; OR, NUGGET NELL. Good rattling Western j( ■k drama ; 4 acts; 2^4^ hours 9 3 }/ /(\ CRICKET ON THE HEARTH, THE. Dickens' story dramatized ; 3 acts ; yfc /(>i 2 hours 6 6 ^j/ '^ft DEACON'S TRIBULATIONS, THE. Comedy drama. A worthy sue- vj> ^^ cessor to the ever-popular "Deacon" ; 4 acts ; 2 hours 8 4 W Jj; EAST LYNN E. Standard drama ; 5 acts ; 2>^ hours 8 7 JjJ ^|\ ENGAGED. Society comedy ; full of burlesque fun ; 3 acts ; 214" hours 5 5 \f) ^ft FROM PUNKIN RIDGE. Domestic drama ; successful wherever produced ; ^) ^jV ! act ; I hour 6 3 W ik HOME. Comedy; fresh dialogue and genuine humor combined with a very cii ^y strong plot ; 3 acts ; 2 hours 4 3 ^|j^ ^ft HONEY-MOON ECLIPSE, A. Comedy marked by spirited dialogue and an \)^ <'J\ abundance of comic incidents ; i act ; 30 minutes i 2 \f/ jj IMOGENE; OR, THE WITCH'S SECRET. Realistic drama sure of being ^j> W enthusiasticall}' received everywhere ; 4 acts ; 2j^ hours 8 4 w /k IN HONOR BOUND. Drama always given whh entire success; i act; ^»i /|\ Khour 2 2 ^1^ ^|\ JACK FOR EVERY JILL, A. A most successful comedy ; i act ; ^^ hour. 4 4 'Vf/' JjJ JEMIMA, OR, THE WITCH OF BENDER. Very laughable in its jjj JIJ absurd complications ; 3 acts ; 2 hours 4 4 :J^ /|>, JUST FOR FUN. Up-to-date society comedy. The piece is cheerfully ^jj^ /i\ recommended ; 3 acts ; 2 hours 2 4 yj^ ^ft LA CIGALE. (The Grasshopper.) Comedy sometimes played as "The vj^ W Circus Girl "; 3 acts ; 3 hours 13 4 V'/ JJ LADY OF LYONS, THE. Romantic Drama ; 5 acts ; 2^ hours ... 8 5 jjjj /j\ LADY AUDLEY'S SECRET. Emotional drama ; 2 acts ; ii< hours 4 3 ^(^ '('ft MAJOR ABORN'S PROPOSAL. Comedy in i act: about 45 minutes; a k( (^ pretty comedy especially adapted for amateur production 3 2 iU ^C MARBLE ARCH, THE. Comedy: one of the most popular little plays; ^l % .act;Khour 2 2 "^.^ /(S MARRIED LIFE. Comedy; companion piece to "Single Life"; 3 acts; . ^ (^ 2 hours 5 5 vJ/* ifft MEG'S DIVERSION. Drama ; pathetic, humorous and picturesque ; 2 acts ; VW' 'fO I K hours 5 3 VJf ij; MEN, MAIDS, AND MATCHMAKERS. Society comedy sparkling with Jg T wit, interest and human nature ; 3 acts ; 2 hours 4 4 :K /|\ MIRIAM'S CRIME. Drama ; the interest in this play is kept up to the very lyj;' /|\ end ; 3 acts ; 2 hours S 2 y)^ /ft DICK & FITZGERALD, Publishers, 18 Ann St., N. Y. ^tJ AUNT DINAH'S QUILTING PARTY Bn Orfgtnal Gntertainnicnt in One Jlcf and One Scene BY BETTINE K. PHILLIPS Copyright, 1903, by Dick & Fitzgerald ^ NEW YORK DICK & FITZGERALD, Publishers 18 Ann Street ^1 \^ THE LIBRARY OF f CONC-iRESS. Two Copies Receiver; |l JUL 23 1903 0. Copynglit Entry CLASS ^ XXc. No. COPY 3. / - ^ v;// AUNT DINAH'S QUILTING PARTY. CHARACTERS Robert Hunter. Grandma Pepper. Deacon Peabody. Nellie Sanderson. Parson Goodboy. Mrs. Doolittle. Reuben Holdcraft. Mrs. Martin. Freddie. Cicely Martin. Dinah Peabody. Mrs. Mark. Hetty Peabody. Mrs. Parker. Miranda Spriggins. Mrs. Spooner. Girls and Boys. Time of Performance. — About one hour or more, according to the "specialties" introduced. SYNOPSIS Aunt Dinah and Mrs. Mark indulge in local gossip. Arrival of the guests; quilting commences, with a running fire of tittle- tattle. Miranda rushes in breathless — has seen a man — and "the villain still pursued her." It was Mr. Hunter, Aunt Dinah's lodger, who makes favorable impression. Freddie snubbed, plots mischief. The quilt finished. Supper is ready. Freddie's revenge. Sudden arrival of the Deacon, bringing Nellie Sander- son to get her away from her lover. The recognition. The Deacon's rage. The Ghost. Consternation. The Ghost un- masked, 'twas Freddie. The Deacon steps out with Freddie. The wedding in a hurry. The Deacon baffled. Robert and Nellie happy, and all join in "Seeing Sweet Nellie Home." 4 Aunt Dinah's Quiltingf Party COSTUMES Robert Hunter. Stylish light sack suit; silk negligee shirt; low-cut patent leather shoes. Deacon Peabody. Dark trousers; outing flannel shirt; linen duster; turn-down collar; highly-colored tie; large hat; gray hair ; spectacles. Mr. Goodboy. Black clerical suit ; black hat. Reuben Holdcraft. Striped trousers; cutaway coat; white waist-coat; laundered shirt; red tie; red hair; very high collar; straw hat. Freddie. Short trousers; shirt-waist; turn-over collar; heavy shoes ; cap. * Dinah Peabody. Dark home dress; white apron,' v/hite col- lar and cuffs, very neat; iron-gray hair; spectacles. Miranda Spriggins. Blue skirt; pink shirt-waist; green jacket; low-cut shoes; red stockings; auburn curls; l^-rge hat, profusely trimmed with flowers. Grandma Pepper. Gray dress, full skirt, tight waist; white mull cap, and kerchief crossed over bosom; black silk apron; gray hair; spectacles; rusty black bonnet trimmed with purple flowers. Mrs. Martin. Flowered chintz dress; white lace collar; frizzed hair; florid complexion; large, aggressive, very imposing hat. Mrs. Spooner. Widow's weeds. Mrs. Doolittle. ) Mrs. Parker. r Dark skirts; shirt-waists; jackets; hats. Mrs. Mark. * Hetty Peabody. Light lawn dress; white, lace-ruffled, ribbon- trimmed apron; very trim and pert. Cicely Martin. White dress; pink ribbons; large white hat. Nellie Sanderson. Very stylish travelling costume; can change to white dress for second entrance if desirable. Girls. Dainty lawns; bright ribbons. Boys. Ordinary costumes. STAGE DIRECTIONS As seen by a performer on the stage, facing the audience. R. means right hand of stage; l., left of stage; c, centre of stage; u., up toward rear; d., down toward the footlights; r. c, right centre; l. c, left centre. AUNT DINAH'S QUILTING PARTY. SCENE. — Old-fashioned sitting-room in a New England village. Quilt on frame at r. c. Common chairs arranged around quilt, three on each side and two at hack facing audi- ence. Door and window, l. Door, r. Old-fashioned clock rear, and furniture arranged to taste. Chairs enough for guests. Aunt Dinah discovered at l. c. threading needles. Mrs. Mark seated at quilt, quilting. Aunt Dinah. It don't seem kinder right, Miss Mark, fer you to begin quiltin' all by yourself, but 'tain't no fault of mine. It's time they was all here. Mrs. Mark. Sakes alive! don't let that bother you, Aunt Di- nah. It don't make no difference. I ain't grudging a few stitches more or less. Aunt Di. Laws ! I know that, Miss Mark. Everybody knows you be too easy-going fer your own good, and that anybody kin impose on you. Mrs. Mark (laughs softly). That's jes' what Ezra says. He calls me an Easy Mark. Aunt Di, (laughs). Ezry alius was funny. How is he, any- how ? I hain't sot eyes on him fer a month of Sundays. Mrs. Mark. Oh, he is middlin' well, thankee. Aunt Di. (sticks threaded needles into quilt, goes to window, looks out impatiently). I wonder what ails them pesky folks? Mrs, Mark. Who all is comin , anyhow, Aunt Dinah ? Aunt Di. Oh, Miss Doolittle and Miss Perkins and the Widow Spooner and Miss Martin and her gal Cicely, the purty one, you know, and Grandmar Pepper, Mrs. Mark. Grandmar Pepper! You don't say! Aunt Di. (sits, quilts). Yes, Grandmar is 'mazin' spry, and as fer quiltin', she kin out-quilt creation; nobody kin hold a candle to her. That's why I invited her. Mrs. Mark, Mebbe so. Mebbe so. But they do say she's gettin' crankier and crankier every day ; that she is that contrairy her darter-in-law kin hardly live with her at all. Aunt Di. That may be, too, but I don't want to live with her. I jes' want her to quilt (laughs). 6 Aunt Dinah's Quilting^ Party Mrs. Mark. And Mirandy Spriggins, of course she'll be here? Aunt Di. Of course she won't, if I've got anything to say about it. Besides she's bin down to Cooper's Corners fer a week back. Mrs. Mark. Land's sake! What does she want of a weak back? Aunt Di. (testily). Pshaw! I mean she's bin there fer quite a spell, and betwixt you and me and the gate post, Miss Mark, that's jes' why I hurried things up a bit — though I wa'n't ready — and had this 'ere quiltin' this week instid of nex', for I vum, I can't abide Mirandy Spriggins' flirtatious ways. Mrs. Mark. Mirandy is a little giddy fer her age. Aunt Di. Giddy ! I should say ! Why, she dresses like a young gal; and then them false curls, I'll bet she's as gray as I be, if the truth was known. I git so nervous sometimes lookin' at 'em bobbin' round that I feel like I must jerk 'em right off her head whether or no. But her tattlin' is the worst of her. She is the boss gossiper. Mrs. Mark. That's so. Aunt Di. Yes, if she was as glib with her needle as she is with her tongue I wouldn't mind. But (jumps up) here they all air in a bunch, at last. (Opens door, u, enter ladies.) Come in, ladies. Glad to see you. Jes' lay off your things right here and Hetty'll put 'em in the parlor. (Calls.) Hetty! Mrs. Parker. That's right, Aunt Dinah. We're late, and have no time to lose ; but we'll make it up, see if we don't. (En- ter Hetty.) Howdy, Hetty. You look good. Hetty (smiles). Thanks. Good afternoon, ladies. [Ladies all talk as they remove hats and wraps. EXIT Hetty,, r., carrying hats and wraps. Mrs. Doolittle. Howdy, Miss Mark. Hard at it, I see? Mrs. Mark. Yes, I bin here some time. How's the baby? Mrs. Doolittle. Oh, he's well or you wouldn't see me here. (Sits.) Mrs. Spooner (sits). I declare if Aunt Dinah hasn't got all the needles threaded. She's got an eye to business. Mrs. Martin. That suits me to a T. (Sits.) I'm going to cabbage two, for if there's anything I do hate it is threading needles. It takes so long, a body loses so much time. Grandma Pepper (still standing, slowly removing bonnet and gloves). Mebbe if you used spectacles. Sister Martin, it wouldn't take such a while. Mrs. Mark. Why, is that you, Grandmar? Howdy. Can you quilt? Grandma (scornfully). Kin / quilt? I quilted afore you was Aunt Dinah's Quilting Party 7 born, Miss Mark, and I may quilt arter you are dead, there's no tellin', so don't get gay. Mrs. Mark, That's so. "Death loves a shining Mark," and I may be tuk first. I didn't mean no harm, though. ENTER Hetty. Mrs. Martin. , For the land's sake ! Cicely, are you primping before that glass yet? Come here this minit and sit by me. You kin thread my needles, if you can't quilt much. Cicely. Yes, mar. (Leaves glass reluctantly, sits, threads needle.) Grandma (hands bonnet very carefully to Hetty). There, Hetty, be keerful with my bunnit. I've worn that bunnit five year come Christmas, and I calkerlate to wear it five year longer. It hain't my best bunnit, neither. Hetty (pertly). I suppose, then, that will last you twenty years? Grandma (throws up hands). I want to know! Dinah Pea- body, do you 'low your gal to be so sassy? Now, when I was young — but no matter — it passes me, though, how impudent and disagreeable young folks is these days ! Hetty (aside, tosses head as as she exits r., carrying bonnet). I guess she thinks old folks had oughter monopolize the job. I don't know what she come for, anyhow. Next thing she'll be wanting to dance to-night [EXIT Hetty, r. At the quilt, Aunt Dinah, r., and Grandma, l., occupy the two seats at rear of quilt, and facing the audience. Cicely, Mrs. Mark and Mrs. Martin left of quilt. Cicely being next to Grandma. Mrs. Doolittle, Mrs. Spoomer and Mrs. Parker at r. of quilt. Grandma (puts on black silk apron, sits at quilt). What you be doin' here with the old folks. Cicely? Gals wa'n't so fond of quiltin' when I was young. Cicely. Mother thought I'd best come. Mrs. Martin. I guess "mother" did. Whenever I leave her hum alone, I don't know how it is, but that red-headed Reuben Holdcraft, what lives next door, is sure to want to borrow some- thin' or other offen us Cicely. Oh, mother! Mrs. Martin. It's true, and when once he gits there he for- gits all about what he cum for, and there he sets. I wonder some- times he don't take root. 8 Aunt Dinah's Quilting Party Cicely. Oh, mother! Ain't you Mrs. Martin. Don't "Oh, mother!" me. I notice one thing, when you leave and / stay he never wants to borrow anything. Grandma. When I was young, folks what had sich purty darters kinder expected the sons-in-law to come 'long arter a while. It's the way of the world, Sister Martin, and you can't help it. Mrs. Martin. / kin help Reuben ENTER Hetty, hurriedly. Hetty. Oh, mar! What do you think? Mirandy Spriggins is comin' in the gate now, and you said Aunt Di. Shet up ! No sich thing. Mirandy ain't to hum. (Rises, looks out of window.) Well, I swan! If it hain't Mirandy, sure as shpotin', and runnin' as if a mad dog was at her heels, ENTER Miranda Spriggins, l., hastily, breathless. Miranda. Howdy, Aunt Dinah. I dasn't stop to rap. Howdy, ladies. Glad to see you all, but you must excuse me. I got sich a scare my nerves is all upset. (Sinks limply into rock- ing-chair, making liberal display of cotton-laced lingerie.) Aunt Di. I think somethin' else is upsot. (Stoops, pulls down Miranda's skirts.) What ails you, anyway, Mirandy? Did you see a rattlesnake? MiRAN. (gasps). No, no! A Man! A strange, mysterious- looking Man right out there in the road. ' (Sits erect, points u, toward door.) Grandma. And run from him? Well, I vum, Mirandy, you do be a fool. 'Pears like to me if 1 had bin lookin' for some- thin' mor'n forty year I would not run from it when I did find it. MiRAN. (bridles). I ain't in my dotage yet, like some folks, nohow ; if I was, I'd stop to hum and mind my own business. (To Aunt Dinah.) He was a stranger, a man I never set eyes on before, and he stared at me so hard and queer-like it put me all in a flutter. He was a-followin' me, and if I hadn't run right in here he would — (Glances out l.) Oh, lordy! He is a-fol- lowin' me, anyhow. He is a-comin' in the gate now. The villain still pursues me ! (Sinks back, martyr-like expression, closes eyes. Ladies all start to rise.) Aunt Di. (goes to door). • Why, that's nobody but the new Aunt Dinah^s Quilting Party 9 boarder. Ladies, don't stop quiltin' ; it's only the music teacher, and he ain't even comin' in here. He ginerally goes straight to his own room on the other side of the porch. MiRAN. (revives). You don't say, Aunt Dinah, you got a new boarder, a music teacher, and I never heard tell of him? That comes of my bein' at Cooper's Corners so long. Aunt Di. I 'lowed, Mirandy, you was a-goin' to stop at the Corners till next week, anyhow. MiRAN. So I was till I heard 'bout your quiltin' party. Slo- cum's Joe was there yestiddy with some truck to sell, and told me, and I knowed jes' how you'd feel if I wa'n't here — jes' how disapp'inted you'd be. And while I was perusin' my mind for a way to get here, up drove Squire Rollins on his way over, and in / bounced and here I am. But I don't believe I kin quilt a stitch, my nerves is in sich a quiver. Mrs. Parker. It is jes' as well, Mirandy, for there ain't no room for you, nohow. Mrs. Spooner (aside, nudges Mrs. Parker). Good for you. We don't want her crowding in here. Aunt Di. But I kin find something fer you to do jes' the same. 'Tain't fair fer one person to sit idle while all the rest is workin'. I guess you ain't too flustrated to piece some blocks, Mirandy. MiRAN. Oh, certainly not. (Aunt Dinah brings quilt pieces, needles, etc., to Miranda, who settles herself in rocker to sew.) Well, ladies, what's the news? What you all been doin' sence I bin away? Mrs. Doolittle. We calkerlated you'd bring us some news. Miran. me? Laws sake! I ain't heard nuthin', and I ain't no gossiper, nohow. I didn't even know 'bout this new music teacher. I wish I had. How cum you to take a boarder, any- how. Aunt Dinah? Aunt Di. Oh, it was all father's doin's. He got to talkin' with this stranger down to Riley's store one arternoon and tuk to him 'mazinly from the first minit, and when it transpired that he was a music teacher and lookin' for a place to stay, and somebody to teach, father thought it would be a good chance for Hetty to learn, she's always bin that sot on music. So he fetched him 'long to supper that night to talk it over, and — well, the long and the short of it is, he's bin here ever sence. Miran. That's good. And how do you like him? Aunt Di. Oh, nobody kin help likin' Mr. Hunter, he's got sich a takin' way with him. He is jes' like one of the family, not a mite o' trouble, and makes fun for all of us. Miran. I'd love the best in the world to meet him. Is he a to Aunt Dinah's Quilting^ Party good teacher? Maybe I'll take lessons myself. Has Hetty learnt anything? Aunt Di. Oh, he is a fust-rate teacher, but father told him fust off he didn't want no nonsense 'bout learnin' Hetty by the quarter nor the day nor the hour nor the lesson, but by the chune^ and that is how he has teached her, and now she can sing real good, and father is so tickled he's promised her a pianny jes' as soon as she kin play a chune on the banjo. Mrs. Parker. It 'pears to me that this quilt is 'bout ready to roll. Mrs. Spooner {rises). That's so. I can't stretch another inch. Mrs. Martin. I've reached till my back aches. Mrs. Mark. And my feet are real numb. {All rise, roll quilt.) ENTER Freddie, with school-hooks. Aunt Di. What makes you so late to-day, Freddie? Freddie. 'Cos I got kept in. Aunt Di. Kept in? What for? Freddie. Xos Tommy Slocum broke a winder light and told the teacher that I done it. Aunt Di. But you didn't? Don't tell a fib, Freddie dear. Freddie. I ain't tellin' no fib, and I didn't break no winder, but Tommy said I throwed the stone, and I seen him throw it, and we both got kept in, and teacher says we got to pay for the winder. Where is Hetty? I want something to eat. {Starts to door, R. Aunt Dinah stops him.) Aunt Di. Where's your manners, Freddie? Don't you see there is company? Freddie {jerking away). Nuthin' but an old quiltin' party, and I hate quiltin' parties. Aunt Di. Freddie! Freddie. Yes I do ! Nobody but wimen and preachers come to quiltin' parties ; and you won't let me cut the pies till supper's ready, and then I have to wait till the second table. But I guess I kin have some doughnuts now. Leave go, Grandmar. I'm hungry. {Jerks away. EXIT.) [Ladies finish rolling quilt, resume seats. Aunt Di. I hope you won't mind him, ladies {apologetically). He's nuthin' but a boy, and he's got sich an awful appetite all he thinks 'bout is eatin'. Grandma. Children was taught to keep their places when I Aunt Dinah's Quilting: Party U was young, boys and gals alike. I hope the Deakin don't 'low that boy to talk sassy to him, Dinah ? Aunt Di. Father ain't to hum, Grandmar. He's gone up to the city to visit with my brother. MiRAN. Laws-a-me ! Aunt Dinah, that jes' reminds me, I did hear some news while I was gone, and it was about your broth- er's darter Nellie. There's bin awful goin's on at their house. Aunt Di. (indignantly). Awful goin's on at my brother John's house? What do you mean, Mirandy Spriggins? MiRAN. (resentfully). Oh, you needn't git riled and jump onto poor me about it. 'Tain't my fault if folks will talk, and everybody is a-talkin' 'bout it down to the Corners. Aunt Di. Talkin' 'bout what? Why don't you say? MiRAN. 'Bout your niece, Nellie Sanderson, and her beau. Aunt Di. What, little Nellie— that child? Why, she beain't much older than my Hetty. I didn't know she had a beau. MiRAN. No more did they, but it seems she did, all the same. She's a sly one. But my! when the old folks did find it out — that she was really engaged — wasn't there a row? (Drops work, throws up hands.) They fired the feller before you could say Jack Robinson, and locked Nellie up so as to make sure she couldn't see him, and wouldn't let her have nuthin' to eat but bread and water, and I did hear, but don't know how true it is, that she is jes' pinin' away, and sez if she can't have him she won't have nobody. Grandma. What ails the young man? What's their dejection to him? MiRAN. He's poor, and a musical perfesser, and sings round in concert halls and theatres. And you know them Sandersons can't stand that, 'cos they alius was hateful and stuck up, and thought theirselves better than common folks 'cos he made a for- tune sellin' rags. (Stops suddenly, confused.) Oh, Aunt Di- nah, I forgot — of course, though, I mean them city Sandersons, not you. Aunt Di. Oh, never mind, Mirandy. Now you've said it you had better stick to it. ENTER Freddie, r., togged out in old skirt and ladies' wraps, gloves, etc. Freddie (mincingly). Good afternoon. Miss Peabody. I heard you had a quiltin' party, and although you didn't invite me, I thought I'd drop in anyway. Where shall I sit? All. Why, it is Freddie ! Ain't he cute ? J 2 Aunt Dinah's Quilting- Party Mrs. Doolittle (humoring the joke). Right here by me, Miss Smith. (All laugh.) Grandma. Drat the boy! if he ain't got on my bunnit. (Springs up, snatches at bonnet. Freddie dodges.) Aunt Di. Ain't you ashamed, Freddie? Freddie. I never hurt her old bonnet ! There, take it ! (Tosses bonnet at Grandma,) You don't want a feller to have any fun at all. [EXIT Freddie. Grandma (smooths rumpled bonnet). I must say, Dinah Pea- body, that boy needs a spankin', and I don't see why you don't give it to him. Aunt Di. I know he is bad, Grandmar, as full of mischief as an egg is of meat; but, you know, he is my oldest gal's only child, and she lies dead over there in the churchyard (wipes eyes with apron), and natchelly I hain't got the heart to whip him. Besides, the child has jes' bin eatin', and I don't believe in spanking on a full stomach. Grandma. Turn him over, then— turn him over. That's th^ way they spanked when I was young. Miran. For the land's sake ! Stop talkin' 'bout spankin' 1 Here comes the new music teacher. (Runs to mirror, prinks.) Aunt Di. If it hain't! That's jes' like him, he's so sociable- like. Come right in, Mr. Hunter. (ENTER Mr. Hunter, r.) It is only a quiltin' party. Don't be skeart at so many wimen- folks. Mr. Hunter (bows). The ladies never frighten me. Aunt Dinah. I'm too fond of them for that. I think you can't have too much of a good thing. [Ladies smile. Miranda giggles. Miran. (aside). He's perfectly lovely! (Smirks, makes eyes at Mr. Hunter.) Aunt Di. I believe you are acquainted with all of 'em ex- ceptin' Mirandy Spriggins and Grandmar Pepper. Mr. Hunter. I believe so. (Approaches Grandma, bows, ex- tends hand.) I am happy to meet you, Mrs. Pepper. Grandma (shakes hands). Thankee. Same to you, Mr. Hunter. 'Tain't likely, now, you be any kin to them there Hunters what lives up by Loneman's Knob, is it? Mr. Hunter. Shouldn't wonder in the least. You know, all the Hunters are descendants of Robin Hood. (Grandma eyes him sharply.) By the way, this is the first quilting party I ever had the pleasure of attending. Grandma. Du tell ! And you a grown man, too. Where Aunt Dinah's Quilting Party t3 you bin all yor life? It is 'stonishing, though, how leetle some folks know ! Mr. Hunter. I am very sorry my education has been so neglected, Mrs. Pepper. Grandma. Grandmar — call me Grandmar. Mr. Hunter. Well, Grandma. But I am going to improve my opportunities. I'll make up for lost time and learn all about it, if somebody will kindly teach me. (Looks at Cicely.) Grandma. I want to know ! Mr. Hunter. So do I. I suppose there are no reserved seats? (Takes a chair and sits next Cicely.) Will you please lend me your needle? (Takes needle from Cicely.) Oh, it is already threaded, thanks. Mrs. Martin. Well, I never! Mrs. Spooner. Did you ever? Mrs. Doolittle. A man a-quiltin'! Who ever heard tell of sich a thing ? Mr. Hunter. Now, Grandma, I guess you know more about quilting than all the rest ? You put it through like this ? (Sticks needle through quilt, all watch intently.) Grandma (approaches). Yes, and draw it out like this. (Sticks needle into Mr. Hunter's hand. All laugh.) Mr. Hunter (jumps up, hops about). Gee Whillikens ! What are you doing? That's enough quilting for me, thanks. I know all I care to. Grandma. I calkerlate you do. Next time you want to poke fun at anybody, young man, don't let it be Grandmar Pepper. Mr. Hunter. You bet I won't ! I've had enough Pepper in mine. (Turns to Miranda.) I think. Miss Spriggins, I've had the pleasure of seeing you before? Miran. (aside). I knowed I made an impression. (To Mr. Hunter, simpering.) Yes, a while ago, out there on the road. Mr. Hunter. You seemed to be in a great flurry, or rather a great hurry? Miran. (giggles). Yes, that's so. I am sich a timid little thing that the sight of a stranger so unexpected-like kinder flus- trated me. Mr. Hunter. That's too bad. I'm very sorry to have caused you so much perturbation. Miran. (with dignity). Oh, I wasn't perturbated, thankee; only kinder nervous. Mr. Hunter. You should endeavor to overcome such extreme nervousness, for if you get frightened at the sight of a nice-look- ing young man in broad daylight, what would you do if you met the ghost at night? H Aunt Dinah's Quilting Party ENTER Freddie, eating apple. All. The ghost ! What ghost ? Mr. Hunter. Is it possible, ladies, that none of you have heard the latest sensation of our little city? Grandma. Nobody's heard tell of any ghost. Freddie. Yes they have, too. I heard all about it. Mr. Hunter, you mean old Hardtack's ghost? Mr. Hunter. That is the very ghost, Freddie. Freddie. Yes, everybody is talkin' 'bout it. Mrs. Doolittle. That's always the way 'bout ghosts. Every- body is talkin', but nobody's ackchally seen it. (Tosses head.) Mr. Hunter. I beg your pardon, Mrs. Doolittle, but I heard Dick Williams and Dave Bennett telling down to Riley's store this afternoon about seeing the ghost last night. Mrs. Doolittle. You don't say? All. Tell us about it. Mr. Hunter. Certainly, if it won't frighten some of you. (Glances at Miranda.) Well, they were coming along from the husking, laughing and joking, thinking nothing at all of ghosts, when all of a sudden a tall, white figure loomed right up in front of them. Mrs. Spooner. And was it really old Silas? Mr. Hunter. They didn't stop to inquire. They took to their heels and never stopped till they got to Riley's. Miran. Goodness gracious ! I'll be afraid to pass there to- night. It is right on my way home. Grandma. You had best go now, Mirandy, while it is light enuff to keep ghosts away. How long has it bin sence old Hard- tack died, anyhow? I disremember. Mrs. Parker. Oh, not such a spell. It was 'long in March, time of the big snow storm. Freddie. I want another apple. [EXIT. Miran. That's so. He tuk cold shovellin' snow, 'cos he was too stingy to hire it done, and first off they thought he had tunnelitis, but after it enveloped into ammonia. Grandma. I guess, Miss Spriggins, you mean newmonm. Miran. I guess, Mrs. Pepper, I don't mean anything of- the kind. You needn't think you know everything because you have lived a hundred years. I said ammonia. Ain't I right, Mr. Hunter ? Mr. Hunter. Really, ladies, this places me in an embarrass- ing position, but I guess either will do. There was no doubt about his dying, was there? Aunt Dinah^s Quilting Party J 5 Mrs. Mark. Oh, no, he died all right, for I seen him in his coffin. Mr. Hunter. It seems, though, he is not willing to stay in it. Grandma, I don't wonder at it, nuther. It is enuff to make him restless in his grave, the way they have bin digging all 'round him. Mr. Hunter. Digging? Grandma. Yes. You see, his folks was terribly disappinted. 'bout his money. They didn't get as much as they suspected, and as he was a sorter miser, they calkerlate he must have hid lots of it away somewheres, and they can't find it. They have been pulling the whole place to pieces, digging of the yard and even under the kitchen floor, to find where he kept it. Mrs. Parker. Mebbe he never had it at all. Mrs. Martin. I don't see why they should think he had so much money, anyhow, for goodness knows ! that land of his'n is so poor you couldn't raise an umbrelly on it. Grandma. I dunno 'bout that, but I do know old Silas alius managed to raise the wind on it. Mr. Hunter (clasps hands). Good, Grandma! Generally in my profession, when we can raise the wind the ghost is sure to walk. MiRAN. That reminds me, Mr. Hunter, do tell me something about your profession. I am just dying to know, I am so inter- ested- in art. (Clasps hands, rolls up eyes, looks transcendent.) I thought once of going on the stage myself. Do musicians make much money? Mr. Hunter. Well, that depends, Miss Spriggins. Some- times they do and sometimes they don't. You see, there is a difference in them. Now, for instance, take me MiRAN. (covers face with hands, simpers). Oh, Mr. Hunter, this is so sudden! Mr. Hunter. Not half as sudden as this. [EXITS hastily, r. Mrs. Doolittle. Well, Aunt Dinah, we've bin real smart ; the. quilt is finished. Now we'll take it out and bind it. (Ladies rise. ) Miran. (lowers hands, peers coyly, surprised. Aside). They must have scairt him off, jumping up like that in a bunch. (To ladies.) You're done, air you? Grandma. Yes, and so air you. [Ladies sit in half-circle at l. c, bind quilt. Aunt Di- nah removes frames. t6 Aunt Dinah's Quilting Patty ENTER Hetty, r. Aunt Di. I guess I better be setten the table and gitten sup- per ready. Come, Hetty, and give me a lift with this table. ( They arrange table, spread cloth.) Now, Hetty, while I fetch in the things you kin sing fer the folks. Hetty. I don't want to sing, mar. Cicely. Oh, yes, Hetty. We'd just love to hear you. Hetty. I've got such a cold, and I'm all out of practice. Aunt Di. Come now, Hetty, no nonsense. You kin sing good enough, 'specially if Mr. Hunter will company you. (Looks about.) Where is he gone now? I never see sich a one to bob 'round as that man is. MiRAN. He's out under the apple tree with Freddie. I'll fetch him. [EXIT Miranda, l, ENTER Mr. Goodboy, l. Aunt Di. Why, here's the minister. Come right in. Brother Goodboy. You are jes' in the nick of time. The quilt is fin- ished, supper is nearly ready, and we're going to have some music ! Mr. Goodboy (shakes hands with Aunt Dinah). I am in luck, it seems. Good evening, ladies. Glad to see you all. (Shakes hands with ladies.) Why, if here isn't Grandma! I hope you feel as well as you look. Grandma. Grandma. Why don't you say that to Cicely? Mr. Goodboy. If Miss Cicely feels as well as she looks, she must be enjoying excellent health. (Bows to Cicely.) ENTER Mr. Hunter, l., leading Freddie, Miranda following. MiRAN. Here he is. Aunt Di. Mr. Hunter, won't you make Hetty sing for the folks? She's so bashful. (Hetty draws back.) Mr. Hunter (advances to Hetty, smiles). Certainly. Come, Hetty, if you don't sing they'll all think I'm no good as a teacher. (Leads Hetty to c. Sings, appropriate selections, duet; at fin- ish all applaud.) Mrs. Martin. That certainly is fine. Cicely's got to begin takin' lessons right away. What do you charge, Mr. Hunter? Grandma. I didn't think it was in the gal. She sings like a martingale. (Aside to Aunt Dinah.) But keep an eye on that air teacher, Dinah. He is takin' a shifie to Hetty and no mistake. Aunt Dinah^s Quiltingf Party 17 Mr. Hunter. Doesn't any one else here sing? (Approaches Miranda.) Won't you favor us, Miss Spriggins? MiRAN. I used to sing, but Freddie (aside). Yes, when they'd let her. Miran. I haven't tried for sich a spell I'm most afeared I might make a flummax of it. Mr, Hunter (urgently). You can surely try. An angel can do no more. Miran. (simpers, allows Mr. Hunter to lead her to c). Oh, well, since you insist, I will do what I can. I don't sing any ragtime stuff. My talent runs to the sentimental. (Sings in shrill, nasal tones, with ludicrous gestures.) SONG. WE PARTED BY THE RIVERSIDE. [The complete words and music of this song can be supplied by the pub- lishers, or by the Oliver Ditson Company of Boston, Mass. Price, 40 cents.] We parted by the riverside. The moon looked down on you and me; The stars .put on a look of pride. The river murmured to the sea. The dewdrop kissed the blushing rose; The gentle winds did sigh. One word broke Nature's sweet repose, — That sad word was good-by. Chorus : Oh, tell me that you love me yet, For, oh ! the parting gives me so much pain. Oh ! tell me that you'll not forget. For we may never meet a-gain. [Presses hands to heart, wriggles as if in pain. Aunt Di. (at close of song). Supper's ready. Come, every- body. [All sit except Freddie and Hetty. Mr. Hunter and Miranda sit next to each other. Freddie rushes to table. Aunt Di. I hope, ladies, your work has given you an appetite. (Aside to Freddie.) No, dear, you must wait. You can't eat at the first table. J8 Aunt Dinah's Quiltin§f Party Freddie (aloud). I could if that old boarder wasn't here. He gits the best of everything. But I'll git even, see if I don't. (Sulks in corner, kicks feet against wall, watches table.) Aunt Di. Freddie! Mrs, Parker. I don't know how it is, Sister Peabody, but my beans never brown so beautiful as yourn, Mrs. Spooner. And mine alius mush up together, in spite of all I kin do. Mrs. Mark (to Hetty, who serves table). Hetty, please pass me them sweet pickles. (Hetty passes pickles.) Mrs. Doolittle. And, Hetty, I'll have some of that cold ham. Mr. Goodboy. Ladies, allow me to help you to this salad. It's fine. [All pass plates. Grandma. For the land's sake ! didn't you folks have no din- ner to hum to-day? Remember, Sister Peabody has got cakes and pies 'n' things to cum yit. Mr. Goodboy. Sister Peabody certainly knows how to cook. Mr. Hunter. That's why I board here. The ladies deserve a fine supper. Brother Goodboy, after their work. They turned out a beautiful job, if I am any judge of quilts. Aunt Di. That's so, Mr. Hunter. Show it to the minister, Hetty. (Hetty brings quilt, holds it up for inspection.) Mr. Goodboy. That is certainly very fine. Ladies, I congrat- ulate you. MiRAN. But that ain't the best of it. The person, or persons, that a new quilt covers first will be married before the year is out. (Giggles.) Mr. Goodboy. I never heard that. Mr. Hunter. Nor I. Won't you please put it on my bed to- night, Aunt Dinah? (All laugh.) MiRAN. La ! you don't have to wait to put it on the bed. Freddie (rushes forward, jerks quilt, throws it over Mr. Hunter and Miranda). No you don't. There, you're under it now! (Holds quilt down; general scramble. All laugh, Miranda screams. Aunt Dinah jerks quilt away, bringing off Miranda's false curls. Miranda snatches curls, EXITS hur- riedly, R.) Mr. Hunter. This is my time to escape. (Rushes off at r.) Aunt Di. (shakes Freddie). Freddie! Freddie! I'm ashamed of you. Freddie. Look! look! There's Grandpar comin' in the gate, and somebody's with him. Leave go ! leave go ! Grandpar's come. Mrs. Martin (looks out). It is the Deacon, sure enough! Attnt Dinah's Quilting; Party J9 ENTER Deacon Peabody, followed by Nellie Sanderson. Aunt Di. (advances, grasps Deacon's hands, smiles). Why, father ! You got back sooner than you 'spected to. Deacon. Yes, mother, and I fetched you somethin' purty from town. (Pushes Nellie forward. Aunt Dinah looks closely at her.) Aunt Dl Sakes alive! if it beain't Nellie! (Kisses Nellie.) Why, child, you growed so I hardly knowed you, I'm glad to see you, though, and so will Hetty be. (Calls.) Hetty! La- dies, this is my niece, Nellie Sanderson, from the city. Nellie, this is our minister, Mr. Goodboy. (All exchange salutations.) Deacon. I'm glad to see you all here, and I'm glad to be here myself. No place like home. ENTER Hetty, r. Kisses Nellie. Aunt Dl Now set right down and eat your supper, Nellie. You look pale and tuckered out. Nellie. Thanks, auntie, but I don't believe I can eat a bite, I am so tired. It was such a long ride. Deacon. Yes, and sich a jolting one arter we took the coach. You jes' run along with Hetty and rest a spell. (Pats Nellie^s head.) Never mind the eating. [Folloivs Nellie and Hetty to door, r. EXIT Nellie and Hetty. Deacon returns to c. Deacon. Yes, mother, we had lunch in the cars, but nobody kin hold a candle to you when it comes to cooking. (Pinches piece from doughnut.) Jes' save some of 'em doughnuts for my breakfast, will you? (Takes newspapers from pocket, hands to Mr. Goodboy.) There's the city papers, Brother Goodboy, if you care to look over them. Mrs. Spooner. Well, Deacon, if you don't want any supper we'll clar away the table while you tell Aunt Dinah 'bout your visit. Aunt Di. Thankee. (Ladies clear table, move it away, Aunt Dinah advances to c). How cum you to bring Nellie along, Hiram? Kinder onexpected, wa'n't it? Deacon. Oh, I dunno. Nellie's bin ailin', and her folks thought the change mought do her good. (Confidentially.) I got somethin' to tell you, mother, 'bout Nellie arter while. (Looks over shoulder at company.) Aunt Di. If it's anything 'bout Nellie's beau you'd jes' as well tell it now, 'cos everybody here has heard all 'bout it. 20 A«nt Dinah^s Quilting: Party Deacon. Well, that beats the band! Who let the cat out of the bag? Aunt Di. Mirandy Spriggins. Deacon. Gee Whillikens ! I mought have knowed. News travels over her tongue quicker than it does over the telefoam. Aunt Di. Hush ! Here she is now. ENTER Miranda, r., carrying flowers. MiRAN. Howdy, Deacon. When did you git here? I can't stop to shake hands. We're fixin' for a frolic to-night. Aunt Di. Yes, father, we be havin' a quiltin'. But is it true that Nellie has quarrelled with her par and mar 'bout this beau? Deacon. They've quarrelled with him 'bout her. And fired him out and won't let her even see him, much less speak to him. Aunt Di. Du tell! What's the matter with him, father? Deacon. I don't know much 'bout him, seein' as I never sot eyes on him. But they say he ain't no good — leastways not good enuff for Nellie, and I guess they're right. He calls hisself a musical perfesser, but he don't git much teachin' to do, and so has to sing 'round wherever he can strike a job, and that don't suit the Sandersons. Besides he is as poor as a church mouse. Aunt Di. Poverty ain't no crime. Deacon. Look here now, mother, this ain't your fight, so don't go puttin' in your oar, for you don't know nuthin' 'bout it. Aunt Di. No more do you. Deacon. I know a gal had orter obey her par and mar. Don't the Scripter say so? They natchelly know what's best for her. Anyway, they had to watch her so close to keep her from seein' him, so I told 'em I'd bring her 'long home with me, where there would be no danger at all of his gettin' at her, and mebbe she'd fergit all 'bout it. (Aunt Dinah looks serious.) You beain't sorry I brought her, be you? Aunt Di. Land sakes, no! Only it 'pears to me, father, that you hadn't orter meddle with it at all. 'Tain't no consarn of yourn if the young folks love each other. Deacon. Now, mother, don't you go puttin' any sassy idees in that gal's head. She is skittish enuff already. Aunt Di. I wonder she was willin' to come at all. Deacon. Oh, she was willin' enuff to come, but she laughed at the idee of it's makin' any difference whether she was in the city or the country, and told 'em he would be sure to find a way to find her, and whenever he did she meant to marry him in spite of all the pars and mars in the world. She's got lots of Bunker Hill grit if she is little. {Chuckles.') But she can't help herself now, anyway. Aunt Dinah^s Quiltingf Party 2i ENTER Freddie. Freddie. I've done fed the horse, Grandpar. Where's that knife you promised me? Deacon. Well, I vum, Freddie, I'm sorry, but I clean forgot that knife. Freddie (whimpers). That's the way you always treat me. Deacon. Never mind, sonny. Don't cry, and Grandpop will give you a quarter next week to go to the circus. Freddie. That's always the way, puttin' me off, puttin' me off. But I'll git even, see if I don't. (Sulks.) Aunt Di. Here come the young folks now. (Young folks heard laughing and talking loudly.) Sakes alive, what a noise! Come in, come in. Why, what you all so flustrated 'bout? (Reuben and young folks rush in l. pell-mell, boys laughing, girls breathless. Reuben carries a banjo.) First Girl. The boys frightened us ! ENTER Hetty, r., smiles, bows to guests. Second Girl. Yes, we had such a scare ! Hetty. What skeart j^ou? Third Girl (laughs). They made believe they saw old Hard- tack's ghost. Deacon. Bosh ! First Boy, We did see it. Second Boy. I felt it. It yanked me by the leg, and I thought sure my time had come. Reuben. It spoke to me. Hetty. Oh, Reuben, what a fib! Reuben. Honest. It said (mimics ghost in sepulchral tones) : "Reuben Holdcraft, be you ready to pass in your chips?" (All laugh. ) Hetty. And what did you say? Reuben. I said: "No, siree! I was still in the game, looking for a raise." (Twangs his banjo.) Hetty. I'm awful glad you brought your banjo, Reuben. Now, with Mr. Hunter, we can have some music worth listening to. My cousin Nellie, from the city, is here, and I want to show her something swell. Reuben. Put a sponge in water, then. That's the surest way, Hetty. Why, if there ain't Cicely! (Crosses to Cicely, panto- mime conversation.) Aunt Di. By the way, Hetty, where is Nellie? 22 Awiit Dinah's Quilting Party Hetty. Oh, she'll be 'long directly. I had to loan her some fixin's, 'cos her trunk ain't come yet. She has got her hair curled and looks too sweet for anything. Here's Mr. Hunter now. The sooner we begin the better. ENTER Mr. Hunter, r. Young folks gather about him, smile, shake hands. Mr. Hunter. Let's have a quartet first. [Anything appropriate in the way of music, recitations, etc., can be introduced here. Hetty. Now, won't somebody recite? Freddie (rushes forward). Yes, / will. Hetty (pushes Freddie aside). You just won't. Par, make him go to bed. Freddie. I won't go to bed. I'm going to speak. Deacon. Come, come, Freddie, you'd best go to bed, sonny. You don't know what to speak about. Freddie. Yes I do. 'Bout two minutes, that's all. (Rushes to c, recites.) ONLY A PIN. Only a pin, — ^yet it calmly lay On the carpeted floor in the light of day. And shone serene and clear and bright, Reflecting back the noonday's light. Only a boy, — but he saw that pin, And his face assumed a fiendish grin; And he slyly stooped with look intent, Till both he and the pin alike were bent. Only a chair, — yet upon its seat That well-bent pin found safe retreat; Nor could the keenest eye discern That heavenward its point did turn. Only a man, — but he chanced to drop Upon that chair, when — bang ! whiz ! pop ! Like the cork from a bottle of champagne He bounded up from that chair again. LofC. Aunt Dmah^s Quilting Party 23 Only a yell, — but an honest one; It lacked the remotest idea of fun, And man, and boy, and pin, and chair In close communion mingled there. Only the pin, — out of all the four, Alone no traces of damage bore; The man was mad and dreadfully sore, And he lathered that boy behind and before. The chair lay smashed upon the floor; Its seat was not hurt — but the boy's was raw ! Deacon, That's enough of you, young man. Now go to bed. Freddie. But, Grandpar Deacon (stamps foot). Go to bed. Freddie (whines). I don't want to go to bed. Deacon. I won't have no back talk. (Seises Freddie, drags him to door.) Freddie (kicks). I'll get even, see if I don't. [EXIT hastily. Grandma. I'm glad you know how to manage that boy, Dea- con. Now I guess we can have some peace. My singin' and dancin' days is over. (Sighs.) I'll jes' set here quiet-like and knit, and leave that to the young folks. (Sits at r. f., knits.) Hetty. I'm awful glad she's got that much sense left. [Mr. Hunter or Reuben, or both, strike up some quick, old-fashioned tune. Grandma listens, stops knit- ting, rises slowly; advances gradually as if spell- bound, smiles. Grandma. Well, well ! I ain't heard no music like that sence I was a gal ! That's the chune they played for the Virginny Reel the night Elijah fust axed me "Would I?" (Beats time with hand on knee, pats foot.) It was down to Fordham's to a huskin' bee. Yes, that's the very chune. I can see him dancin' down the middle now. I tell you Elijah could cut the pigeon's wing with the best of 'em ! [Drops knitting, dances regular jig. All applaud, laugh. Grandma stops suddenly. Land sakes ! I didn't know I was a-dancin'. What will the preacher say? (Runs to back.) 24 Aunt Dinah's Quilting Party ENTER Nellie. Hetty. Here's Nellie now. (Leads Nellie forward.) These are my friends, and this is the new music teacher. Mr. Hunter (springs forward, grasps Nellie's two hands). Nellie ! Nellie (joyfully). Robert! Mr. Hunter. Dearest! (Kisses Nellie.) Nellie. Darling! (All fall back in amazement. Deacon ad- vances.) Deacon (angrily). Hel-lo! Thunderation ! Beg pardon, parson. What's all this? (To Mr. Hunter.) Mr. Hunter (ignores Deacon). How came you here, sweet heart? Nellie. Why, how came you here? Deacon (advances between Mr. Hunter and Nellie). Never mind. No matter about that. Jes' remember that / am here, too, and this has got to stop. (Grasps Mr. Hunter's arm.) What do you mean, sir? That is my niece. Mr. Hunter (laughs, kisses Nellie). You've got a mighty nice niece. She is my promised wife. (Throws arm about Nellie. ) Nellie. Oh, Robert, I am so happy ! Mr. Hunter. I am in heaven. (Retires up stage to b. c, leading Nellie. General conversation in pantomime ; sympathy evidently with the lovers, who appear absorbed in confidential conversation. Mr. Hunter's arm still about Nellie. Deacon and Aunt Dinah at d. c, watch lo7.'ers.) Deacon (very angry). Well, I swan! Aunt Dl You have put your foot in it, haven't you, father? Oh, no, there wasn't any danger of her meeting her beau here, was there? (Deacon starts tozuard lovers. Aunt Dinah pulls his coat-tail.) Come away, father. Deacon. But (Tries to jerk loose.) Aunt Di. It's done now and can't be undone. (Mr. Hunter kisses Nellie.) Deacon (furiously, trying to get loose). Stop that, I say! Aunt Di. (still clutching coat). Leave 'em be. Don't make a fool of yourself. Deacon. I won't leave 'em be. That gal has already made a fool of me. Can't you see this was a premeditated action done on the spur of the moment? (Breaks away, rushes up stage, drags Mr. Hunter to "f. c.) Look here, you scallawag of a perfessor, the sooner you pack your duds and clar out from here the better. I ain't goin' to have no sich goin's on in my house. Aunt Dinah's Qailting; Party 25 ENTER ghost, advances between Deacon and Mr. Hunter. All (shriek). The ghost! The ghost!! Ole Hardtack's ghost!!! [General stampede. Ghost chases promiscuously about. GooDBOY hides under the table. Deacon catches and unmasks ghost, who proves to be Freddie. Freddie has mounted death's head on stick; concealed stick by long, white robe, which also hid his own identity. Deacon larrups Freddie with stick, drags him out r. Freddie. I told you I'd get even. Aunt Dl Oh, father, don't ! don't ! He never meant no harm, [EXIT Deacon^ Freddie and Aunt Dinah. Mr. Hunter {to Nellie), Now's our chance, darling. Here is a preacher handy, Reuben, Good ! Where is Brother Goodboy. Mr. Goodboy {crawls from under table). Here I am. What do you want? Reuben. Nothing much. Jes' step up here and marry this couple. Mr. Goodboy {makes for door). Couldn't think of such a thing — the Deacon wouldn't like it — you must excuse me. [Reuben, First and Second Boys grab Mr. Goodboy, bring him to c. Reuben. You don't have to think about it, Jes' do it, that's all, and be quick. There's no time to spare. (Mr. Hunter and Nellie take places.) Come, Cicely, we'll stand up with them. {All take places, Mr. Goodboy performs short marriage cere- mony, Mr, Hunter kisses Nellie.) ENTER Deacon and Aunt Dinah. Deacon {seises Mr. Hunter angrily). Didn't I tell you that had to stop? This is my house, and the sooner you leave it the better. Mr. Hunter. All right, I can leave, but if I do Nellie goes with me. Allow me, Deacon Peabody, to introduce you to my wife. {Kisses Nellie. Deacon collapses. All form semi- circle, Mr. Hunter and Nellie in centre, and sing.) 26 Aunt Dinah's Quilting Party WHEN I SAW SWEET NELLIE HOME. [The music of this song can be supplied by the publishers, or by the Oliver Ditson Company, of Boston, Mass. Price, 40 cents.] In the sky the bright stars glittered, On the grass the moonlight fell, Hushed the sound of daylight bustle, Clos'd the pink-eyed Pimpernell ; As adown the moss-grown wood-path, Where the cattle love to roam, From Aunt Dinah's quilting party, I was seeing Nellie home. Chorus : In the sky the bright stars glittered, On the grass the moonlight shone; From Aunt Dinah's quilting party, I was seeing Nellie home. When the autumn tinged the greenwood, Turning all its leaves to gold, In the lawn by the elders shaded, I my love to Nellie told ; As we stood together, gazing On the star-bespangled dome, How I blessed the August evening, When I saw sweet Nellie home. Chorus: White hairs mingle with my tresses, Furrows steal upon my brow ; But a love smile cheers and blesses Life's declining moments now; Matron in the snowy 'kerchief. Closer to my bosom come ; Tell me, dost thou still remember. When I saw sweet Nellie home? Chorus: CURTAIN. A BUNCH OF ROSES A BuRLEsauE Musical Entertainment, By W, D. Felter 9 PRICE. 15 CENTS Cast op Characters Mrs. Phcebb Ann Ross ••••••.. yrom Kalamatoa Prudence Lobelia Polly Clorinda Pameua"^ T the Bunch of Rose* Patienck Penelopb Lilly vtoLrr ^ • the Rose-buds Daisy Sally Sparks ...•....•• whv only ''^ thinks so. Matilda Jane ., the Hired Girl Melvin Melrose ....;. the Only Young Man on the Spot A burlesque musical entertainment in i act, by W. D. Felter (author of " The Sweet Family," etc.), i male, 13 female characters. Time of performance about ij^ hours. This is a miscellaneous programme rendered for the benefit of " The Free Ice Fund for the Philippine Islanders." It includes various "specialties," living pictures, Mother-Goose chorus, etc., and concludes with a burlesque operetta entitled "John- ny Jones." The Roses, the Rosebuds and the Only Young Man on the Spot make up an entertainment that cannot fail to excite continuous mirth for the better part of an evening. The author has produced this burlesque at church entertainments in many parts of the country, with unvarying success. GERTRUDE MASON, M.D. Or, THE LADY DOCTOR A Farce in One Act, for Female Characters, By L. M. C. Armstrong price. 15 cents Cast of Characters Gertrudk Mason, M.D a young Physician Bertha Lawrence ) r 7- • j Ella Gray f her Friends Miss Jane Simpkins ....... tf Spinster of Uncertain Age Mrs. Van Style one of the '"'' 400'" Norah ..*•.. Dr. Mason's Cook Marie a Lady's Maid Tjme.— The Present. Place.— New York. Tike of Representation. — Thirty Minutes. An exceedingly bright piece for young ladies, in which young Dr. Gertrude, already a victim of circumstances, is made the victim of a practical joke. The scenes with Mrs. Van Style^ who mistakes the doctor for a pawnbroker, and Miss Jane Simpkins^ who brings a sick dog to be cured, are hilarious, while Nora, an Irish cook, is deliciously droll. The cook is the star of the piece, but all the personages are vivacious and every situation bristles with fun. Dick & Fitzgerald, Publishers, i 8 Ann Street, New York JUL 23 1903 TRIED AND TRUE. A DRAMA IN THREE ACTS, BY J. R. FURLONG. PRICE, 15 CENTS. Eight male, three female characters : Leading juvenile man, low comedian, two heavies, character heavy, eccentric negro comedian, old man, walking gentleman, leading lady, soubrette and character lady. Interior, street and garden scenes. Time of playing, two hours and a quarter. A stirring play of city life, with strongly con- trasted characters, full of brisk action and lively dialogue. The movement is so rapid and the interest so well sustained that the attention is held from the rise to the fall of the curtain. Every character is prominent and affords scope for good acting.- SYNOPSIS OP INCIDENTS. Act I. At the " Red Light" Saloon. One of nature's (colored) noblemen. — A regular gold mine. — The vampire's plot. — A weak-minded old man. — A game of bluff. — "You are the thief, and I will prove it." — Belinda Jane on the search. — A division of spoils. — " Dat gal takes de oj^sters." — The compact of friends. — The vampire defied. — Another trick in the game. — " When_Muggins goes back on you, look for him in de cemetery." Act II. The Vampire's Rendezvous.— Truthful James_ of Hohokus, N. G.— The new pard. — In the toils. — "Now, Elliot Greythorne, we will balance accounts." — The underground cell. — The winning hand. — Kate's history. — An ultimatum. — "Trust me, and we will baflfle this villain yet." — The right bower — "Oh, how I wish I could swaller myself ! " — Snaky Jim's little game. — A struggle for liberty.— Tableau. Act III. — Once moke on Familiar Ground. — " Dat missus ob mine, she's a dandy, she is." — Belinda's good fortune. — " I've brought home enough scalps to cover a hair trunk." — The vampire at his old tricks. — A last chance. — "Dat's right, bust de whole business ! " — Coming up smiling. — Father and son.— "You've been dancin' de devil's hornpipe, an' now de ole gent is going to pass 'round de hat." — Snaky Jim pulls a trigger. — Strange disclosures. — A happy reunion. — Tried and True. UNDER A CLOUD. A COMEDY-DRAMA IN TWO ACTS, BY CHAS. TOWNS END. PRICE, 15 CENTS. Five male, two female characters : Leading man, society villain, old man, eccen- tric comedian, walking gentleman, leading lady and soubrette. One interior scene. Costumes of the day. Time of playing, one hour and a half. Having an excellent plpt and a strong comedy element, this is a bright, breezy play full of snap and " go," with energetic but not too complicated action. The characters are sharply contrasted, the interest continuous, the wit bright, the humor pleasing, and the situations are striking and impressive. SYNOPSIS OF INCIDENTS. Act I. Ante-Room adjoining Mr. Tracey's Private Office in New York. — A December morning. — The "moral" young man. — Sporting news. — Bad luck. — The wrong horse wins. — The two clerks.— " You're a jolly buffer!'" — Morley speaks his mind. — Durkin's Dilemma. — " For Heaven's sake, Morley, you won't tell him ! " — Morley 's promise. — Wild oats. — The appointment. — The detective arrives. — How thieves are caught. — Tracey explains. — Darby gives an opinion. — "Bosh!" — The marked bills. — "It's an old plant, but it may work." — Tracey is puzzled. — The sub- scription paper. — Durkin's hypocrisy. — Morley's liberality — A few puns. — "Ring the bell!" — A battle of wit. — Sharptellsa weighty secret. — The proposal. — More fun. — Durkin's villainy.— Changing the bills.^ — A talking; match.— Trouble ahead. — "The private mark." — Darby's Doubts. — Poor Morley. — Disgraced. — Nina's faith. — Tableau. Act II. A Lapse of One Year ; scene as before.— A rascal's triumph. — The tramp. — "Me name is Billy the Bum." — The trust funds. — Josie and Sharp. — "Bother the moon." — The tramp returns. — A big story of a big dinner. — "Me name will be mud." — The plot. — The tramp gets mad. — " Do your own robbing ! " — The agreement. — Nina and Durkin. — A cunning scoundrel. — " I am not perfect, though I try to be." — Nina's terror. — The alternative. — The warningnote. — "Somethingisgoingto happen." — The dummy package.— -The tramp and his "pal." — Paying the price. — The mock robberj'. — Durkin gets his head in the noose. — " A special edition." — The tramp on hand. — Durkin's wonderful nerve. — The rope begins to tighten. — Another "special edition." — The trap is sprung. — "Who are you ? ' — Righted at last. — Tableau. I^^" Copies vtailedy postpaid, to any address, on receipt of the annexed prices. ..^^ Dick & Fitzgerald, Publishers, i8 Ann Street, New York I COMUDIES AND DRAMAS | JK 15 CENTS EACH f /K M F. jK )!; MY AWFUL DAD. Comedy that always makes a brilliant hit; 3 acts; jK ^K 2 hours 6 6 W ^|\ NIGHT [N TAPPAN, A. Farce comedy; excessively funny and sure to yf/ ^(^ take ; i act ; ^ hour 2 3 lyl^ ^J NOT SO BAD AFTER ALL. Comedy; sometimes plays as " Is Marriage i^> OUR BOYS. Comedy; always succeeds ; 3 acts ; 2 hours 6 4 yf^ jj OUT IN THE STREETS. Drama. Wherever this play is presented it is \l? ?j> received with the greatest enthusiasm ; 3 acts ; i hour 6 4 w ^jy PAIR OF IDIOTS, A. Up-to-date society comedy, with bright and witty ^K ^!y dialogue and telling situations ; 2 acts ; 2 hours 3 3 5K /|ii PICKING UP THE PIECES. Effective comedy either as a parlor play or {If} /JS curtain raiser ; i act ; 30 minutes i i lyf/i (ji^ ROBERT EMMET. (New version.) A new, actable version of this great \V w historical drama ; 3 acts ; 2 hours 10 2 VV Jj; SAVED FROM THE WRECK. Drama ; serio-comic ; 3 acts, 2 hours.... 8 3 ^j^ ^J\ SCRAP OF PAPER, A. Comedy of the present time, full of healthy yf^r /jVi laughter ; 3 acts ; 2 hours 6 6 yf^r jj SHAKESPEARE WATER CURE. Burlesque comedy; each character a \t/' '.n star ; 3 acts ; 2 hours 5 4 Xf/ ^!y SINGLE LIFE, Comedy; the characters are all comic and all "Stars": :K ^j\ 3 acts ; 2 hours 5 5 Jg /JV SNOWBALL, THE. Farcical comedy ; the popularity of this come4y is un- yf/ i^j\t excelled ; 3 acts ; 2 hours , . 4 4 3 yf/ jjj SOLON SHINGLE. Yankee comedy ; 2 acts ; i^ hours 7 2 \f? /jy STRIFE. (Master and Men.) Great labor drama; a play for the masses ; ^K /j^ 4 acts ; 2 1< hours 9 4 jjj (f^ SUNSET. Comedy; requires some acting with reserve force in both comedy yf/ /JS and pathos ; i act ; 50 minutes 3 3 yf/r ^^ SWEETHEARTS. Comedy combining fun and pathos ; 2 acts ; i hour. .. 2 2 VW Jjy TEN NIGHTS IN A BARROOM. New and simplified version of an old JK Ay favorite that will draw hundreds where other plays draw dozens; 5 acts ; «% Xy 2 hours . . 7 4 l^ /iy THREE HATS. Farcical comedy ; one ot the greatest favorites ; cannot fail ^t-. /ly to be a success ; 3 acts ; 2 hours . . 5 4 ^»% ^|\ TIMOTHY DELANO'S COURTSHIP. Yankee comedy full of laughable yf> /JX incidents ; 2 acts ; i hour 2 3 yf) j^ TRIED AND TRUE. Stirring play of city life, full of brisk action and lively vj? W dialogue; 3 acts ; 2 J^ hours 8 3 w ?J> TRIPLE WEDDING. Short excellent drama of home life by the author of W ?j> " The County Fair " ; 3 acts ; i }{ hours 4 4 w >|y UNCLE JACK. Drama; comic, with a good moral ; i act ; ij^ hours 3 4 jK /|y UNCLE TOM'S CABIN. New version. An old favorite rewritten so that ^f^ ^^y it can be played in any hall ; 5 acts ; 2^4 hours 7 5 ^f/ /JV UNDER A CLOUD. Comedy drama ; bright, breezy, full of snap and go; yV ^j\ 2 acts ; 1 14 hours 5 2 yf/ d> UNEXPECTED FARE, AN. Comedy affording excellent scope for amusing yf/" /|V situations and by-play ; i act ; i^ hour i 5 yf/i /♦\ WANDERER'S RETURN, THE.' (Enoch Arden.) Drama with strong yf> <'ft plot and effective characters ; 4 acts ; 2^4 hours 6 4 vf/" ^i> WOODCOCK'S LITTLE GAME. Farce-comedy ; funny ; 2 acts ; i hour.. 4 4 \f/ /ft WOVEN WES, THE. Strong and sparkling drama ; has a military flavor, 'yf> /fV and is frequently played under the title of " In Old Virginia " ; 4 acts ; yf/ m % /<> m /<> /<> ^<> /♦> m m ^1 COMEDIES AND DkA^JJv^* ««! ^ 25 CENTS EACH - M. F. ALL THE COMFORTS OF HOME. Comedy by William Gillette. Only authorized edition of this famous play ; 4 acts ; 2^ hours lo 7 BREAKING HIS BONDS. Strong drama with comic underplay; easily staged ; 4 acts ; 2 hours 6 3 BUTTERNUT'S BRIDc; OR, SHE WOULD BE A WIDOW. Farce comedy for laughing purposes only ; 3 acts ; 2.% hours 11 6 CAPTAIN DICK. Effective drama, founded on an episode of the Civil War ; 3 acts; 2 hours 9 6 DEACON, THE. Comedy drama that is simply immense. Alvyn Joslyn type, old man leading character ; 5 acts ; 2J4 hours 6 6 EDWARDS THE SPY. Drama ; a brilliant episode of the Civil War ; 5 acts ; 2j4 hours 10 4 ERIN GO BRAGH. Up-to-date Irish drama; both serious and comic in scope, not sensational ; 3 acis ; 2 hours ^ 5 4 GOLDEN GUl«CH. (The Government Scoui) Drama that combines fun, sentiment, and exciting situations ; 3 acts ;/2j^ hours 11 3 GYPSY QUEEN, THE. Romantic drama with bright comedy parts; 4 acts ; 2% hours ....) 5 5 JAILBIRD, THE. Drama of city life, containing a vivid plot with well- diversified interest, together with a pretty love-story ; 5 acts ; 2% hours. . 6 3 JOHN'"BRAG, DECEASED. Fa«^comeuy; one ot the best farces ever published. ; nothing slow in this piece ; 4 acts ; 2j^ hours 8 5 JOSIAH'S .COURTSHIP. Farcical comedy drama; uproarious comedy features alifeipafe •^^ith forceful, but not heavy pathos ; 4 acts ; 2 hours 7 4 MAN FROM MAJW^^' Comedy drama with a wide-awake hero from " Down East " ; 5 acts ; 2j^hours 9 3 MISS MOSHER OF COLORADO. Comedy drama with great " charac- ter " parts ; 4 acts, 214; hours 5 3 MY LADY DARRELL. Drama possessing all the elements of success ; powerful situations, effective stage pictures, and grand climaxes ; 4 acts ; 2^ hours 9 6 NIGHT OFF, A. Comedy by Augustin Daly ; printed from the original prompt-copy ; 4 act's ; 2% hours 6 5 PRISONER OF ANDERSONVILLE. Military comedy drama. An excel- lent play for amateurs, as all the parts are good and evenly divided ; 4 acts ; 2 J4^ hours 10 4 REGULAR FLIRT, A. Up to-date comedy, especially recommended to those who have produced the author's "Just for Fun " ; 3 acts ; 2 hours... 4 4 SEVEN-TWENTY-EIGHT. By Augustin Daly. There have been several imitations of this comedy, but none of them approaches the original ; 4 acts ; 2% hours 7 4 SHAUN AROON. Stirring drama of home life in Ireland ; a simple real pic- ture of country life in the Emerald Isle ; 3 acts ; 2 hours 7 3 SQUIRE TOMPKINS' DAUGHTER. Strong comedy drama ; 5 acts; 2>^ hours.. : 5 2 STEEL KING, THE. Comedy drama with brisk action; depicts the strug- gle between labor and capital ; 4 acts ; 2% hours 5 3 WHAT'S NEXT? Farce comedy: 3 rets; plays 150 minutes; raises 150 laughs 7 4 WHITE LIE, A. Comedy drama ; abounds in laughable comedy features and strong situations of serious interest ; 4 acts ; 2^ hours 4 3 Jt> DICK & FITZGERALD, Publishers, 18 Ann St., N. Y. ^V