®i BUKLmGTOH TRAVEST7 CLUB. CAST OF CHARACTERS. Medical Students 'r of Roma University Conspirators and Villians. Julius Cesar, "Jewel-less Kaisar," Marc Antony, Lepidus, LuciLius, Messela, Dardanius, Cato, TiTINIUS, VOLUMNIUS, Cassius, I Brutus, / CiNNA, a Soothsayer, Trebonius, LiGARIUS, Casca, Metellus, Varro, Clitus, Strato, Lucius, Ophelia, the Lost Jewel, Bettina, \ Witches Borrowed Marie, > . from Evangeline, J Macbeth. Chorus of Aesthetic Rabble . Mr. J. J. Fleming. fMR. W. W. Dodge. Mr. L. C. Walbridge. Mr. B. H. Pollock. Mr. G. B. Salter. Mr. O. W. Smith. Mr. S. B. Harrington. Mr. J. S. Taylor. Mr. C. I. Millard. r Mr. C. J. Dodge. i Mr. R. M. Ewing. . Mr. J. T. Wheeler, f Mr. W. a. Watson. ' Mr. W. B. Eaton. Mr. E. Marshall. Mr. W. G. M. Johnson. Mr. E. H, Brown. Mr. W. C. Rowley. Mr. W. F. McFarland. Mr. W. a. Heizer. ; Mr. G. H. Tousey. {Mr. Ed. Harbach. Mr. a. W. Pierson. Mr. E. C. Gnahn. TRAVESTY CLUB ORCHESTRA. MR. JNO, C. MINTON, Musical Director and Pianist. MR. FRED HEIZER. 1st Violin. MR. F. N. FIELD, 2d Violin. MR. CHAS. WYMAN, Flute. MR. A. A.. SMITH, Cornet. MR. GEO. BOTT, Bass. A TRAVESTY WITH A SINGLE PUN." Jewel-less Kaisar. (CONTINENTAL FOR JULIUS C;ESAR.) AN ALLEGED TKAVESTY IN FOUR ACTS. / BUKLINGTON, IOWA, JOHN T. WHEELER, Publisher. 1883. -3 ^J COPYRIGHT 1883.— JOHN T. WHEELER. (all rights reserved.) AEGUMENT. The story of the travesty runs thusly : Ophelia, the charming though indiscreet daughter of Caesar, pronounced " Kaisar " by the continentals, (possibly because they didn't care a continental how it was pronounced,) when but a child, was feloniously stolen by the witches of Macbeth — in- cited by Cassius — and given to Polonius, of Hamlet fame to raisej — probably because he had a good hand, — in the abduction. After his de- cease, on account of Hamlet's rat poison, the] witches again hold her a prisoner, at a grotto, in Elsinore, All other reports to the contrary, not- withstanding. Her father, grief-stricken, searches far and wide for his lost jewel ; and was considered to have worthily earned the title, "^Jewel- less Kaisar. " The fact that he was police judge in Rome at the time, made the case more notorious. After three years of thorough and labor- ious search the judge bethought himself to offer, as a reward for her ap- prehension and safe return, — herself. This procrastination on his part was lamentable ; as the girl was aging all the time and was consequently depreciating in value as a prize, and — but we digress. The villian, Cassius, who once had a quarrel, at a ward-primary, with the aforesaid judge, and lived only in the thought to do him deadly injury ; having already enslaved the person, since he could not the effections, of Ophelia • heads a conspiracy, that finally culminates in the overthrow and apparent death of C^sar. Marc Antony, a lover of the Judge's daughter, having overheard the dark plot of Cassius, and finding the whereabouts of his inamorata, makes a successful attempt to rescue her; returns home to find his prospective father-in-law in the last throes of death ; a frightful illustration of the evil effects of an overdose of pork. Having resuscitated him, only to find his mind shattered, Antony directs his attention to the affairs of Rome. Cassius and Brutus, having organized the 20,000 (count 'em) Rabble into an army, decide to proceed to Pnil- ippi, in order to be historically correct ; and endeavor to conquer the allies of Rome under Antony, who were supposed to be terrible slayers as they belonged to the Medical profession. Cinna and the Three Witches, however, opportunely appear on the scene, and as a ballet, of course, easily conquer the rabble. C^SAR or Kaisar, as you like it, having regained his mind, condemns .the ring- leaders to death ; but after- ward listens to the voice of his child, and pardons them. The witches, hav- ing found their nomadic life distasteful, change it by diving into the sea of matrimony. Antony espouses Ophelia. Sorrow turns to joy. It may be claimed by some that this argument does not explain the play. If it does not, let us hope the play may explain the argument, " DRAMATIS PERSONS. Julius Cjssar • • Jewel-less Kaisar. Maec Antony, Lepidus, LuciLius, Messela, I . . . Medical Students of Roma University. Daedanius, Cato, TiTINIUS, Volumnius, Cassius, 1 y Conspirators and Villians. Brutus, J CiNNA, ......." A Soothsayer. Trebonius, LiGARIUS, Casca, Metellus, Vareo, Clitus, Steato, Lucius, Ophelia, Daughter to Csesar. The Lost Jewel. Chorus of Aesthetic Rabble. Bettina, ^ 1 Marie, |- evangeline, j Witches. ACT. I. — Street Scene, Forum, Rome. ACT. II,— Grotto at Elsinofe. ACT. III. — Scene i. — Interior of Court Room, ACT. III.— Scene 2.— Interior of Medical Room. ACT. IV.— On the Field of Battle, near Philippi JeweWess Kaisar. (Continental for Julius C-t:saii.) ACT I. Scene. — Street Scene, Forum, Rome, Medical Students discovered on Stage, disputing. Mark Antony and Lepidus lead them. . Luc. Caesar, I say. Lep, 'Twere better Kaisar. Luc. Nay, nay I say, Caesar is the way in sooth, have we not heard it spoken thus by Booth ? All. Aye ! aye ! Lep. And yet the classic world gives you the lie sir, the pure continental for it is Kaisar. All. Oh! Fie 1 Solo. — Lepidus. Air — ^'All on account of Eliza. ' ' The Travesty we're about to sing Is all on account of Kaisar, The way that you'll be taken in Is all on account of Kaisar; Though some still call him Caesar too — We trust it will be none of you, For this we know and know it's true, It's all on account of Kaisar. All. All on account, all on account, All on account of Kaisar. For this we know and know it's true, It's all on account of Kaisar. -6- Lep. J. Kaisar was the name he had, All on account of Kaisar; When small he was, a Roman lad, All on account of Kaisar; Though corn he held he was no hog — Nor yet the one who wanted a dog, But let this fact in your memory jog, - It's all on account of Kaisar. All. All on account, all on account, etc. Luc. {Aside.) All right, have it as you please sir, yet to me it always will be Caesar. {Noise without.) Ant, Ah ha, what's this, that in it's coming, makes such unseemly babble? Lep. Methinks it is that ignorant aesthetic rabble. Mess. Then must we off, for with such micks we must not mix, lest it harm us in our politics. Lep. Let's to our surgical home repair, and anatomize all cases there. Mess. But ere we go, let each throw up his dicer and hur- rah for Police Judge Kaisar 1 (^Exeunt Students hurrahing, leaving Marc Antony and Lep- IDUS on stage.) Ant, Thou goest not? Lep. Nay, 'twas but a ruse, my thoughts too heavy are for such light minds; I would a word with thee. Ant. Go on ; I await your word. Lep. Methinks thou ponderest overmuch of late years, good Antony. Ant. (Aside.) (My spirit wars within itself, can I trust him with this?) Lepidus, canst thou a secret keep? Lep. Aye, thine and mine. Ant. Judge Kaisar, the king, so called (and rightly too^ think I,) mourneth his lost daughter, Ophelia. One dark and stormy night, when nature in her wildest moods did move; when thunder crashed and vivid lightning flashed, lost he her, while returning from Lupercal feast. Lep. Alas ! Ant. 'Twas three long years ago and yet, 'twas as though the hungry earth had gaped and swallowed her from mortal sight ; for nothing was there heard nor seen of her till now. Lep. Left she no trace? -7- Ant. Nay, yet 'twas said the Macbeth witches did then appear in Rome, and some do shake their heads and say 'twere they. Lep, a sad story truly, but to you — Ant. {Interrupting?) To me it is everything. I loved Ophelia; forty thousand fathers could not with all their quantity of love make up my sum. In losing her, great Kaisar lost a child; I lost my life, my soul; but find her I will, though the sun stands still and all on earth do oppose my will. Lep. And I, thy friend and partner, will assist. Ant. Your hand. {Shake.) Lep. Aye, it is a good hand. Ant. Let us pass to other scenes and faces, I'll seek my love in devious walks and places. (Ant. and Lep. exeunt,) {Enter TKKEO'iiWJ^ and Rabble with lutes, mandolins, etc.f in slow walk, playing as they sing, ) Chorus. — Am — ^^ Twenty love sick maidens y — Patience. Twenty thousand rabble we — Rabble much against our will ; Yet this rabble must we be Till. we finish our play bill. Real star parts we wanted all, To immortalize our name ; But were crushed before the call. And remain unknown to fame. , And yet humble though we are We will notice get, my boys — For what e'er we lack in lines, We will make it up in noise ; Ha ! hi-ki-ya. Tre. Let us stand here awhile, in unique rows, and as- sume the true aesthetic pose, {Rabble pose in intense positions at back of stage. Enter CiN- NA with proclamations.) Solo. — Cinna. — Air — From Evangeline. My name is Cinna, I come between -a The rabble and the king; In magic dealing, black art revealing, ' Or some such sort of a thing. All. Or some such sort of a thing. CiN. Each potent spell I know quite well, , And every herb that groweth ; In witches charm, fortelling harm, My heart with rapture gloweth. All. His heart with rapture gloweth. CiN. And yet I've seen one, this maid a keen one, Comes creeping in my waiting heart ; This pleasant feeling, all through me stealing ; Oh Love ! I know now what thou art ! All. Oh Love ! he knows now what thou art ! Cm. {Soliloquy.^ • For three long blissful years, this Lu- percal, have I lived on that one smile. And to exist, so long on one smile showeth consistency, and consistency is a jewel. And yet, she is also one. Strange ! She gave to me this flower ! *Twas for remembrance, she said. I know not. I am unversed in the language of flowers. They tell she is a witch. Mayhap. For truly hath she bewitched me and may she more, say I. Such witchcraft shall be with patience borne. {Kneels f) Oh ye gods and little goddesses! assist, I pray, to find me, that darling girl I left behind me. All. Oh ! Oh ! Oh ! CiN. Beg pardon, gentlemen, growl not like bears, I simply paused awhile to say my prayers. Saw you my mas- ter, good Antonio? Tre. , Nay, we saw not master, good, of thine, whom bad men fear; only the tail of his toga flyin', as we did en- ter here. CiN. Then must I off", — but ere I go I have some news to tell. Tre. Well, tell it quickly. CiN. Old Kais., the king, comes here to dwell. Tre. That news is sickly. Cm. But wait, this last may meet your approbation. All. Heed ! heed ! CiN. He sends this timely proclamation. All. Read ! read ! Cm. You'll notice it's put up in most elegant shape, with a liberal sprinkling of red tape — All. Oh! Oh! Oh! Cm. Brave Romans all, lend me your ears ; {All turn.) Good gracious, what whoppers ! The king, from all his hoarded wealth, hands out to you these coppers: {Reads. ~) Anna virumqui cano, Trojae qui primus ab oris — -9- Tre. Stop ! stop ! that latin talk won't do for modern chorus. And the metre also suits us ill ; this is Caesar, not Virgil. Cm. True, true, but still it might have been, I'll change the language, and go it again. {Reads.) To all of whom these presents come — Greeting; I, Kaisar, Rex, and Royal King, with Crown, and Mace and Signet Ring, have now concluded to do this thing — by jing ; to he who will my daughter bring, his praises will the nation sing, and joyful be the meeting ; To he who finds my lovely daughter, wheth- er on high land or water ; brings her safely to my side, shall have her for his charming bride. Then let all search the country o'er, in every nook and cranny; all through the forest, glade and dell, and over mountains many. Be he of high or low degree who finds my sweet offspring, — it will be all the same to me, I'll do the dead right thing. Yours res- pectfully, J. Kaisar, King. Tre. In other words, says ' ' Finder, keeper ; ' ' Humph ! that's fairly good ; he couldn't get her cheaper. CiN. Now I consider this generous work and I've money to back it, so in order that all may read, right up here I'll tack it. {^Tacks proclamation to lamp post.) Farewell, kind friends, for all over the nation, must I post this proclama- tion, consequently I have no time to waste, in other words, I go, post-haste. {Exit CiNNA running.) Tre. ''Be he of high or low degree. " That may mean me, or some of ye. (^;z^^r Cassius ^«^ Brutus sijtging.) Duet. — Brutus and Cassius. — Air — From Electrical Doll. In politics, there's lots of tricks; We have him now in quite a fix ; We hold him strong within our grasp. To do as we may choose. {Repeat with dance.) Bru. Hence ! home ye idle creatures, get ye home, is this an holiday ? Tre, Yea, to the true aesthete all days are hollow days in dull, sleepy Rome. Nothing is beautiful, naught is sweetly unique. You all live in the prosaic valley of commonness, while we, alas, like wounded birds do beat our wings against the steel bars of stern reality, when we would soar far above ye all. -10- All. {^Bowing their heads.) Alas ! Cas. What ! Know ye not, that being mechanical, ye should not walk upon a laboring day without the sign of your profession ? Speak ! what trade have you ? Tre. No trade have we in such a place as Rome. Divine sun-flowers are unappreciated in the market place and holy lilies may be gotten for a song. All. {As before.') Alas ! Bru. I understand you not. But tell me how you do ap- pear to-day upon the streets in such queer regalia and remain unmolested by the police? Speak! Tre, We sir, do make merry day for Kaisar. Sort of a political picnic, as it were. Cas. You blocks ! you stones ! you worse thali senseless things ! Oh you hard hearts, you cruel men of Rome, know ye not that Kaisar said in his last speech : ' ' Oscar Wilde be blowed?" All. {^As befo7'e.') Alas ! Cas. Begone ! Run to your homes, fall on your knees, pray to the gods to intermit the plague that needs must light on such base ignorance. Bru. Go ! Go, good contrymen, and for this fault as- semble all the aesthetes of your sort, draw them to the Mis- sissippi's banks and weep your tears into the channel, till the lowest stream do kiss the most exalted shores of all — {Exeunt Rabble, singing, — ^'Twenty thousand, etc. ") Bru. {Aside.) (And we have no more sand bars.) See where their basest metal be not moved, they vanish tongue- tied in their guiltiness. I fear me Kaisar hath strong hold on their affections. Cas. Aye^ do you fear it ? Then must I think you would not have it so, (Marc Antony and Lepidus appear at back, listening.) Bru. I would not Cassius; yet I love him well. But wherefore do you hold me here so long ? What is it you would impart to me ? If it be aught toward the general good of the party, set money in the one hand and office in the other, and I will look on both indiiferently. Cas. 'Tis well. Then speed I to my purpose. Would'st know where ignoble Kaisar's child, Ophelia, remains these three long years ? —11— Bru, Yea, in her grave she lies; and you do in your words, if you differently say. Cas. Nay, I lie not at all, and least of all in this. She is not dead, though better for Kaisar that she were. Thou know'st I bear much ill-will against the self-called king. He did me greivous injury in a way of which thou art not igno- rant. Standing on the corpse of my political hopes, I swore eternal enmity to him and his'n. Whisper, I hold Ophelia in my power. Ant. (^Aside.) Horrors ! Can my ears be true to me ? Lep. Silence, good Antony. Cas. Guarded by witches three, in a grotto at Elsinore, hold I her, till she shall do my bidding. Rare obstinate she is, but she at last must yield. Ah, what's this ? {Looks at proclamation, and with Brutus reads it. ) Ant, Heard' St thou what he said ? Lep. Aye, each separate word is burned as with a seeth- ing iron on my mind. Bru. 'Tis a strange, yet generous offer. Cas. Humph ! Patience is a great possession. By it I am enabled to reach, as with one step, my most complete revenge. She shall now be my wife. Bru. Your wife ! How about Evangeline ? Cas. (^y^r//;?^,) (Evangeline !) Think not of her. Listen grand Brutus : Kaisar must die. Do not start. But assist me in this bold undertaking and I will gild your brow with highest power political. Bru. {Soliloquy.') To do this thing it likes me not, I fear me I may rue it. But his ambition must be crushed. By Jupiter, I'll do it. {Grasps hand of Cassius'.) But let us think some way quite handy, and study well the modus oper- andi. {Exit Brutus.) Cas. She shall be mine in the fall. {Taking proclamation, Exit Cassius.) Ant. {With spirit.) They stood there, Lepidus, there upon the streets of Rome and plotted, forsooth, against a giant, of whom their pigmy selves should stand in awe. There, those lurking mice did place themselves and scheme to kill a lion. If no thunderbolt did strike and crush them, believe me, heaven cared not to waste her ammunition. All ye heathen gods do help, now, I implore, or Kaisar and Oph- elia will be in life no more ! LiiP. You're too general, Antony, you can't blame 'em if they do not help ; you ought to name 'em. Ant. I'll call on but one. Great Mars ! Thou battle god ! Hurl me^thy sword, thy helmet, armour, and blood - red shield ! {Articles drop from above: Thunder, lightning, etc. ) Ant. Good gracious he quickly heard my word. {Trem- bling?) I'm so flustered ; I'm nearly ausgespielt. Lep. {Taking up armour.) ''Take what the gods give thee, " is sage advice, climb in, you'll be ready in a trice. Ant. {Putting on armour.') Ah yes, the fit is very nice. Lep. If aught can give success, these arms will bring it. Ant. That's very true, suppose we sing it. Solo. — Antony. — Air — '' There's a letter in the candle. " There's a maiden in a grotto, Impris'ned close by witches three ; To deliver' 11 be my motto, I'll set Ophelia free. My heart grows light and lighter As to the task I go, I'm destined to be a fighter. For the fates fortell it so ! {Chorus of gods above.') Brave warrior bold, we the gods declare ; To insure you vict'ry, we will all be there. Brave warrior bold, we the gods declare ; To insure you vict'ry, we will all be there. Lep. Away, away, away. Ant. Away, away, away. All. Away ! {Curtain.) ACT II. Scene. — Grotto at Elsinore. Night. Ophelia at back- ground in cage. Cauldron over fire. Ogres. Three witch- es , with bags of gold, singing: Trio. — Witches. — Air — " Elsie Dear. " Oh ! we guard her in the grotto, — Elsinore ; Here within the forest shade, so dark and grey ; From our keeping will she wander nevermore, Till she, her lord and master, will obey. Bet. Three long years have we held her in our power ; Yet her disposition does not seem to sour. Trio. Oh ! we guard her in the grotto, etc. For our labor we are recompensed with gold From the coffers of a rich and glorious man ; On such bounty will we hold her till we're old, And as many other maidens as we can. Bet. You see we stay at Elsinore for riches, 'Tis the orthodox habit of witches. Trio. Oh ! we guard her in the grotto, etc. {^Repeat,') Bet. When shall we three meet again ? Mar. In thunder, lightning or in rain. Evan. When this travesty is sung ; Mar. When Ophelia's lost and won ; Evan. That shall never be I vum ! Bet, Pshaw, I see you're on mischief bent ; that sounds like Watson's advertisement. Get you to your cauldron, stir it 'round and 'round, while I recline here upon the ground. My tired nature seeks sweet repose, {^Lies down.) Mar. {Aside.) And discourseth music through its nose. Bet. Double, double toil and trouble, fire burn and caul- dron bubble. {Sleeps.') -14— Oph. {SoUloqity.) I the lost jewel am, and yet, not Juliet, but rather Ophelia. 'Tis said in Hamlet that the jewel inside this jewel is also lost. Ah liie, 'tis false ! Thanks to the gods ! For though decked out poorly, clear sanity clothes me in its folds complete, and bright reason holds here it's firmest seat. Bet. (^Startifig.) What say you? Mar. I spoke not. 'Twas the owl. Bet. Oh, owl right. (Sleeps.^ Oph. Though caught so tightly in this strong seine, in- sane I am not. My father ! Great as your boundless love is for me, so great is my dispair. Liberty, sweet liberty ! in any shape would I welcome thee ; be thy form ever so fearful or manner dubious. Nay, all have forgotten me ; even Antonio's son, whom they call brave and valient. Yet he once did whisper of love to me and I, foolish one, did lis- ten. That I do love him, (more's the pity,) I will explain in appropriate ditty : Solo. — Ophelia. — Am — '^ Oh, Such a Virtuous Gardener, am I. " — Billee Taylor. Marc Antony is a soldier bold. You'll know him by his visor. Something has whispered in my heart : He'll save Ophelia Kaisar. For three long years this girl has lived, ♦ With no one to advise her ; But when he comes, she'll rescued be \ He loves, he loves Ophelia Kaisar. With his helmet, and his armour, his blood-red shield ; His enemies, they tremble, whene'er he takes the field. His valiant deeds are echoed over land and over sea ; Oh ! Such a brave warrior is he ! such a brave warrior is Marc Antony ! If one were worthy of his love. Right loyally he'd prize her; Pray heaven that the fortunate one May be Ophelia Kaisar. And he who'd thwart him in his love Must be an early riser ; Brave, valient, thrice-heroic Marc Must wed, must wed Ophelia Kaisar. With his helmet, and his armour, (Etc.) —15— {Enter Cinna. Falls over Bettina.) CiN. Another confounded log. The woods ate full of them. I am lost. Aimless I roam ; I would I were at home in Rome. Bet. I would you were too, and so would also my feet ; to be all trampled over is not refreshingly sweet. CiN. That voice ! Those features ! The witch Bettina ! Bet. Yes ! Yes ! And thou, I think, art Cinna. CiN. I will not deny it. Duet. — Cinna ^;^^ Bettina. — Am — ^^ Gobble Song,'' Mascot. CiN. Although I am not very chunky, I rest, sometimes, upon my donkey ; Bet. And I will own to more than that : I love right well a little cat ; CiN. And when I hear it bray alone It makes my heart quite melancholy. Bet. And when kittie attacks a bone It makes me laugh and feel quite jolly. CiN. I, thou more than donkey, love ; Bet. And thou, much more than cat, I love ; CiN. When he sadly brays : Waugh-he ! waugh-he ! Bet. When she mews her miaue ! (Etc.) CiN. The tender tones from out his throat. Do oftimes move me much to pity j Bet. And when it frolics with the goat, I like to watch my little kittie. CiN. The soulful murmurs of it's voice. Thrill me with sweetest agitation ; Bet. And when it purs, I do rejoice, And love without exaggeration. CiN. I, thou more than donkey, love ; (Etc.) CiN. So thou art she who gavest me this flower so long ago. And you are really a witch ? I think you told me so ? Bet. Yes, I am a witch ; and being so, thou knowest which I am, you are the who^ pray may I ask, matrimo- nially, the when'> CiN. {Aside. Great heavens ! I smell a breach-of-prom- ise suit.) Nay, fair creature, press not me, though I would thee. Until my master has Ophelia found I do not dare to woo. Bet. Oh ! If that's refusal's only ground, I may im- part a clew. {Retire to back of stage, cofiversing.) —16— {^Enter Marc Antony.) Ant. No sail ! No sail from day to day 1 But stop, — although alone in this forest garden, I'm not rehearsing Enoch Arden. I must be near the place ; It looks like Elsi- nore ; I'll boldly muster courage up and quick this cave ex- plore. Oph. Mark Antony, speak, what seek you, so far from Roman streets? Answer low, they'll hear you; 'tis Ophelia that intreats. Ant. {Aside?} (The words and voice do both proclaim the fact that it is truly she.) I came, imprisoned maiden fair, to rescue thee. Solo and Chorus. — Air — "Virginny Johnson.'" Ant. Oh, say my love, will you come along with me, Hey Ophelia, ha Ophelia, ho Ophelia Kaisar ? Sweeter by far than a huckleberry tree. Hey Ophelia, ha Ophelia Kaisar. I wake up in the morning and see the sun shine, I think in its light I see those eyes of thine ; It makes me laugh, I'm merry all the time. To think of the happy time when you'll be mine. All, Oh, say my love, (Etc.) Oph. Oh yes, my love, I'll go along with thee. Hey Marcus, ha Marcus, ho Marcus Antony ; Stronger thy love than a sycamore tree, Hey Marcus, ho Marcus Antony. When stars, at night, in the heavens would appear, ^ I felt, some way, that you were always near, And in my heart, I never knew a fear, Through the long years I've been imprisoned here. All. Oh yes, my love, (Etc.) Bet. Oh no, good sir, she'll not along with thee, Nay Marcus, na Marcus, no Marcus Antony, We'll be as stubborn as an osage orange tree, Nay Marcus, no Marcus Antony ! You think you're great, as brave as brave can be. You'll find your match in us, the witches three, And from our wrath you'd better quickly flee. For the best you can do is to give up this idee. All. Oh ! no, good sir, she'll not along, (Etc.) —17— Bet. No, she can't go. 'Tis very romantic I know, to be rescued, but it ain't business. Ant. Oh, 'tis money you want. (Aside.) (I'm not very rich, but I may scratch enough to bribe a witch.) How does fifty-seven cents strike you ? Bet. How much ? Mar. I have a discovery made, not on that my fancy tick- les. The gold, forsooth, that Cassius gave is only street car nickles ! All. What ? Mar. 'Tis very true, look here, 'tis money queer, and even then 'tis rusted. Bet. That's terrible, — All. Unbearable ! Bet. I'm thoroughly disgusted. Ant. Then ladies, listen to the tuneful melodiousness of my voice ; I will unfold a scheme; 'twill make your heart rejoice. ( Coughs. ) Cm. And now I think you'll hear him go it; as soon as soon as he clears his obstreperous throat. Solo. — Marc Antony. — Air — '^Malonef s the Man'' Judge Kaisar's the man, you should understan,' There's none other richer, nor wiser ; He has large bags of gold and wealth that's untold, But still he's in nothing a miser. All. (With swinging dance.) Judge Kaisar's, (Etc.) Ant. You return him his child ; with pleasure gone wild. He'll meet you with words sweet as honey. And as you go 'way, you'll cheerfully say: He's showered us completely with money. Witches. Agreed, agreed, 'tis money we need, You seem to be sort of relation ; Now you shall see Ophelia set free, As we utter our queer incantation : (Spoken in concert,) Wit. Mystic powers that close enshroud us ; come come, come. Return ye now the gift allowed us, Cm. Fe, fie, fo, fum. Wit. Break the bars that here encircle, (Door of cage vpens.) Burst the chains in which she's bound; (Chains fall off Ophelia.) We celebrate a new Lupercal ; the potent vcharm's unwound. —18— Oph. (^Coming out of cage, to Witches?) I may go you say? It seems too good to be true. {To Antony?) In this I'm supremely glad. I owe it all to you. CiN. Oh, don't mention it^ I beg of you. Ant. 'Twas a quick pleasure I gave, for it's returned again to me. But lets away — {^Enter Cassius.) Cas, Hold, hold, I've something to say. All. What you ? Solo.— Cassius. — Am — ^'^ Lover' s Breast' '' Although unwillin', I am the villain, You see the play requires one ; I cannot let you go, because I love so, Indeed you must be mine. I suppose you come, sir ; only for fun, sir ; But really I protest ; I am her only beau, they will tell you so, Your presence I detest. Cas. Yes, you see, I've had her encaged for three years. But joking aside, sir, she must be my bride, sir. Ant. Bride me no bride, stand aside, or over your frame will I glide ! " {Drawing sword?) Cas. Fain would I beware lest he stick me so, for over the Styx must I then go. CiN. My courageous heart beats fast and faster, there'll be a fight as sure's my name is Cinna, I ought, I know, to back my master, — but I think I'll back Bettina. {Gets be- hind her. ) Bet. Lay on MacSnuff, and let him quit, who gets enough^! Solo and Chorus. — Air — Lorenzo* s song, Mascot. Clashing time with swords. Cas. In fair fight we list, why came you? why came you? But still as you insist I will lame you. {Thrusts Ant. in right shoulder?) Ant. {Changing sword to left hand. ^ To rescue her, I came,, you villain, you villian ; You but wish to larae, \yhile I'nx here for k,illin** —19— \C Assivs /a//s dying. Music beating slow stepping time, Cinna goes to him, and returning front, sings. Evangeline ^^. Stu.) Ant. And thus great Kaisar walks, truth stranger is than fiction ; as his own ghost he stalks, so fearful his affliction, Lep. Strange phantasies in madness lurk, his lot is hard, — ^but see, fresh foot-prints ! We must to work ! Be on your guard ! Cas. andBRV. {Coming out.) A truce ! a truce ! {Enter Kaisar with sheet over him,) Bru. The deuce ! Who are you ? —29— Kai. Thy evil spirit, Brutus. Bru. Why comest thou ? Kai. I'll meet you at Philippi, ta ta. {Exit.) Bru. Great Kaisar's ghost ! He'll meet me at Philippi. Not if I see him first. Once again, a truce ! a truce ! Ant. Very well, come on, although we suspect a ruse. Cas. We suggest a compromise : you may the offices hold, which you have fairly won ; while we'll assist, like Croesus old, in the handling of the mon'. Ant. To let an enemy assist, 'twould be quite funny ; nay, we will manage both offices and money. Cas. Then die ! (Rab. spring out with weapons. Med. Stu. cowering.) Lep. Don't kill us, good mister Brutus. All. Help ! Murder ! Thieves ! {Flourish of Trumpets, Enter Cinna and Witches as Ama- zons, in ballet costume. Rab. fall back, trembling. ) Quartette. — Cm. and Wit. — Air — '' Good-bje to Chloe.'^ Oh, 'tis not a frequent thing, that you hear the ballet sing, For their time is mostly taken up in prancing; But strict attention pay, to the swing of this ballet. As deftly they begin their merry dancing. {Execute figures, closing with tableau. ) {Re-enter Kaisar.) Kai. I'll meet you all at Philippi. {Enter Ophelia.) Oph, Where's papa? He's led me such a chase, I'm really afraid I'm scarlet in the face. Oh ! Kai. Go away ! Thou'rt a toad-stool, a lizard, bah ! Oph, Oh no, I'm not. Oh, that he might once more his right mind and his daughter know. Ant. Can you not think of some olden nursery rhyme, that will gather his wandering thoughts ? Try 'im ! Oph. I'll do it; ''Oh, Father, dear Father, come home with me now, the Clock in the Steeple strikes two." {Bang, bang !) Kai. {Starting, throwing off sheet.) Ophelia ! My lov- ing daughter ! Bru. and Cas. Great Kaisar ! Ant. He sees her. -30— CiN. See him seize her. Luc. There, I always said it was- Caesar. Kai. Sweet daughter thou hast charmed me back to san- ity. Cas. Whether thou be what thou seem'st I know not ; but if so, I claim thy daughter as my discovery. Thy procla- mation {Shows proc.) says : '' Be he of high or low degree, who finds my sweet offspring, it will be all the same to me, I'll do the dead right thing." Lep. What great assurance ! Kai. It is just. What I've written shall be done. She must, I see, become your bride. Oph. Oh, woe is me, his love I shun ; I would I had already died. Ant. This is indeed tough ! Solo. — Evangeline. — Air — From Merry War, Let joy remain throughout your life. Let joy remain throughout your life ; I will explain, I am his wife, I will explain, I will explain, I will explain, I am his wife ! Cas. Don't speak so shrill, why need you cry it. Don't speak so shrill, why need you cry it, If you'll keep still, I'll not deny it. If you'll keep still, if you'll keep still. If you'll keep still, I'll not deny it. Ant. The villian is unmasked at last. Kai. Thy crimes are many, Cassius, and you, Brutus, are not spotless. Prepare to receive your sentence. Duet. — Cassius and Brutus. — Air — From Electrical Doll. In politics there's lot's of tricks. He has us now in quite a fix. He holds us strong within his grasp. To do as he may choose. {Repeat.') Kai. Let them all be led forth, and twice beheaded, that we may be doubly sure of their death, Oph. Oh father ! Do not let death mar our wedding day. Can it be my lover has nothing to say ? Ant. I'll do my best to quell the gathering storm. Par- don them, oh King. They may yet reform. —31— Kai. I will, though I feel I hadn't oughter ; gentlemen, accept your lives as a present from my daughter. All. (^Kneeling.) Thanks, most noble Princess, CiN. (^Leading up Bettina.) Oh King, when you were crazy, I was not lazy, but wooed with all my life this maiden fair, with auburn hair. May I have her for my wife ? Tre, {Leading up Marie.) Since thou hast given me my life, my ambition soareth higher ; I humbly ask that I may wed this handsome witch, Marier. Kal Let pure love reign, without alloy, I grant you both, since I am king. And now that sorrow turns to joy, a closing anthem let us sing. Solo — Kaisar and Chorus.— Air— '' (9«/)^ a Pansy Blossom. ' ' Ah! 'tis only a Roman story, Of Caesar and his time ; And yet to me far truer Than many a hist'ry rhyme ; Bringing us back the March-time Of an age so long ago. When he found his lovely daughter, And vanquished every foe. Although a free translation Of Shakespeare's glorious theme. We hope 'twill find a welcome, And pleasant to you seem. All. For, 'tis only a Roman story, etc. The End. . J. M. Swan. r. m. Ewing. -^SWAN ^ €wiKG.-gf- Importers and Jobbers of Toys, Fancy Goods, Druggists' & Grocers' Notions, Small Musical Instruments, ii6 N. Main St. • BURLINGTON, lA. Chas. J. Dodge. W. W. Dodge, Notary Public. 'i^€i€i'e a^ ^-aiz-tz-e, OFFICE BONER'S BLOCK. B URLING TON, 10 WA. CONDUCTOR BURLINGTON AMATEUR ORCHESTRA. MUSICAL DIRECTOR APOLLO CLUB. Uocal Culture, Harmony an6 Analysis. Music Hall 405 j^ Jefferson St. READ THIS!! AND DO NOT FORGET IT. "S"cM csLaa. Sa.-ve :tv£oia.e3r "b^r lisc-^iM-g- 3ro\a.r PRESCRIPTIONS co33a.po-a.3a.■ 1 The Largest and Most Complete Stock of AND GABLER ipiJLisros. West of the Mississippi River. — "Wholesale & Retail, OK; OVISTS, JNO. c. MiNTON« J AS. A. GUEST, Manager Retail Department. Proprietor. H. A. BROWN & CO. Are THE Leading Dealers in KINE BOOTS AND SHOES. Ladies' Fancy Opera Slippers and Fine Shoes, Gents' Opera Boots and Dancing Pumps, and all Fine Goods a Specialty, as we carry the Finest Stock in the city. 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