PRINCETON, N. J. Collection of Puritan Literature. Division Sectio?i Number WSlI 5 Digitized by the Internet Archive in 2013 http://archive.org/details/matrimoOOdrda fc> MATRIMONIALLf H O N O V R: O R, Themutuall Crowne and comfort of go cU * ly, loyally and chafte Marriage Wherein The right way to preferve the Honour of | Marriage unftained, is at large defcribed, urged, and applied : with Refolution of fondrv materiall Queftions concerning this Argument. ALSO | An Appendix, added to the Ireatife, describing the jufl and jjj icmbU judgements of Cod upon a Hi bat dare violate the honour of CMarriage. H< To which is added an Alphabeticall Table, very nc- % { ceffary for the Readers underfbndin^ to findeeach fe- !] verall thing contained in this Booke. Set forth for the good of all fiich as either are to en- * 1|| ' ter,or are already entred into this Honourable cftate. } By D.K.Batckin Divinity ,and Minijler of the GofteQ iTheiT.4.4. Andjhtt every mAtt may know how to preferve bis vcfefl in holir.efie And honour. LONDON, Printed by Tb: Harper for Vhilip IfyVd, and are to be 6 fold at his (hop in Ivy Lane at the figne of the Gun. M DC XXII. I ■a 00111 ^mEs^ tiSw imiLK PwmmnmEwmwm^ To the R'ght Honourable, and his very good L-r^, Robert EaileotWar- w'xke, Baron of Leez, &c. The AuTHOUKof this Treatisi wiflicth alt Health, Honour, and Happinefle. R ! ght Honourable: gr*f> - ??* Hen I *as ft* ft intended this Difcourfe I r 'jf ibe'ngjomeyearesfi^cejrhc thought I felt >n my frife a deftre of feme in- tnmtfion from former Arguments of deeper excrctfe, and werejpiritu • ti/t nature: efli oper to prefect your Lotd- fbipwithall. gut (r*ygo dLord fucbutheejttteoffrale flefh in this vaile of misery that there U no conditio** of I fe whether Mimftery >teagifl acy .fwgle or mariedftate wh r- m counfeL m *y not doe well for the reBifywgof fuch errors as through humane infirmity breake into all. Each ft ate bath his fever. ill temptations^ and a well ordered courfe in marriage (a* long experience tf a double marriage can te chyou) isnoeafte Theme. Agame thatfwett andmutu- aS accord which God hath vtuchjafed twixt your Honour and your worthy Confort, may jerve to turne my Did cation into a Gratulation. And indeed, though the Bookebe much Ib^T&hl' m der the value of fuch apcrfn ge as your fife {a man not aw. ontly of Noble defcent but of great ana deferving atts both AA.142. for our Church and Commonwealth both fo merly and of Nur.q-ajm bi J ' ' J bifuvioicm, late ■ yet Iprefume^ that if a draught f muddy w ter pre- &c fentedintbe crowne of a hat, wasfo welcome to a p tent Monarch: ThcEpiftlc Dedicatory. MonArch : then doubtlejfe your honour tble fj>it it will not re- jecJASchoHcrs Miti offereaw:th as dcepe refpecl unto y OB, as that was : you rv'll not defpifcfm ill things, ftnet there may be a blefsmg therein. Ntt a/way in a great thing there v.Uc Irre is good. but m A good there is ever great, and 'that which may \ ■ agree with grcatnefje, as one tells us out of a Greek t Poet. "* All hclpes Jhailone dayecafe, jet every booke of ufe m \j £ ferve as a little walk/ng-ftajfe to further us in our traveil {C > hfa* home. Moreover it m \J become the be ft Scholler of us all to UJjt- leAtne that teffon which Paul, and from him my Booke ur- ■"} ■-■ getb^ The time is fliort (wrapt a*A folded up., as the Text Ecdtti**'** is) Let them that podefTe, be as if they poflTcfled not, & c.f. fuchasweepe, as if they wept not/uch as rejoyce, as if they rejoyced not, fuch as marry, as if they married nor, fuch as life the \vorld,as if not ufing it : for the faflr'on of jtpaflethaway. A time for all things, and^o a time for Mnth.»x. jo. the married to embract 5 and a time to bee far from embra- cipg. Seeke therefore that place where Allihefe relations JIaII ceafe, ' for fo 1 thmke, though fome thinke otherwfe: ) whet e there ft all be no marrying, nor giving in marriage, jot the Spou(efI)Allbe wholyfptntudl, like her husb wd, at lr>- ft like the Angels of Cod. In which defire I reft^ craving a blip »g from heaven uponyw Honour. your vertuous and Nob*e LAdy,Andpo(ltnty : as alfo upon the peru/All of this yoar Booke : And jo humbiy tAke my Uavo, rejltng At your Honours command in the Lord, Danibl Ro cerx, \ t#kii»if»riii :igOTri JMHBP bMi lB m * «»< To the READER, All health. IUdicious and religious Reader, this Whcele of our Converfation, whrrcof this Boo*c trea f es, (Marriage I meane including many lcfTer wheeles in, and under it, all fubjeft to the motion thereof, and each of them requiring a due order and dire- ction, that both might bee regular, and according to knowledge 5 how fhould I thinke any other, but that I have lighted upon this point of Marriage by a fpeciall Manudu&ion of Providence? Defirous wee are fomc- times that the matter we have by us in reudinefTe, might be feafonable alfo for the times wherein we live : But, when indeed the manners of our prefent age feeme to give a life to that which we have before prepared, (for thou knoweft Occafion is the life of a Thing) then dou- bly it appeares feafonable, yea as Apples of gold, and Pi&ures of filvcr. Howbeit further mufing of the mat- ter, fundry other fmaller cords concurred to draw meoa to this endeavour : whereof J will make thee partaker, (as counting it none of the lmalleft mercies that I may give an account to the Church of God, for the impro- ving and redeeming of my fcafons) in thefc fad times * wherein that good Cod, whoallowcs us any theleaft a protc- To the Reader. prote&ion and liberty, requires that wee fpend it not in vanity and froth, but to the beft advantage, if not as w« i Cor.i.if. would (for hee is wifer then man, yea his foolifh lefle and weakneffe exceeds the beft wifedome and ftrength which is in us) yet as wee may for the better making up of our reckoning, at his comming, when the ufe of our Talents (hall be examined. x. Fiiftth&i, I obferved, that Religious Confent be- tweene couples did notonely fafhionthe family relati- ons, the children and fervants, much the more orderly •, but alfo extended it felfeto the Church and Common- wealth i ca-afi ig thofe fervices which concerne publique coniMiununOi Woiflrppsrs, to proceed morefaire- as alfo the duties of common, life, to pafife more comely then otherwise they would doe. One godly and har- monious Cou jle, I have noted, to difpatch mote good fervceto God, tothemfelves, to their brethren^ then f jme ten couples unequally yo'aked. So trpe a maxime of M ichUvd and his maftertheD^villit is, Hee that Si v!s irapera- would beare rule, let him fow difcord and divifion.This re,divide. one w h ce f le t i iea being of fo rrnine importance 5 what need is there that the fpokes and ftaves of it bee found, and well comp :<3, according to the rule of the Sanctu- ary t This waso^e motive, s. I obferved moreover, that as barren as the world is of good perfons, and good couples,, yet here and there are Scattered many of a tradable and docible difpojition, to doe well, and to order their marriage couife aright. pfal.50.uk. Onely their Principles dying, rather in a morall way of good affe being ignorant of that which fhould either informe their judgement, or order their will thereunto-, alas they ne- ver To the Reader. ver attaine the Tythe of comfort, and content which this cftate might affoord them. How great pitty were it then to defraud fuch people of directions, who if they might enjoy it, would not bee wanting to improve it? How many full of knowledge, yet live, (and in marriage cfpecially) as if they had none? By fo much the more its pitty that fuch fliould want i^ as would gladly enjoy the fruit of it i And considering, that without know- ledge the heart is not good •, and that good intentions without rule, areas a goodly Coach without a skilfull driver \ I conceived I mould doe rhem acceptable fer- vice, and fome glory to God, in catting this Platforme ofDiredion for them, out of Gods Word. Thisfeem- cd another inducement. Befides thefe, as wee fee a great deale of ground va- nifheth in a narrow Map, which in a larger lyeth open • fo I have noted,thar in Setmons, or lhort Touches upon the fifth Command (wherein the Preacher onely fol- lowing his text, meets with no fuch occafions of inqui- ry) much inftnuSion about particular duties of Manage are concealed, which yet (in a Treatife appointed for the nonce) will offer it felfe fitly to be d . ' . They that are in a crowd, muft get through as they cm • thedoore (landing open freely, one by one may p. He through with eafe. So is it here • a Trcarife hath this advantage, to reach in many things which a general! handling pafleth over: and farisfaftion toadoubtfuH minde, is move eafi!y given this way, thenb forheo- ther meanes of more wuighty nature : Each ordinance of God ierving fpecially for that end, wlv.ch anothct doth not. A poorc ftar may in her u*e exceed t! -,c Sun, w hen •itsdavke, and night! feafon : though the ' i d aH •Starres in lier light. This was a rhi rd u a 2 To the Redder. 4. But above all other, Iconfidered that thewofull o- veiflow of finne, and of Luft by name, in this our age, which rcignes as in her element, through difdainc or violation of the ord inance of marriage : fecmed to need fomc check and affront from heaven, which might re- maine as a witnefle againft our debauchery, and which might Bait men out of their unclcannefle. Unto this worke, though I know my felfe the unfitted of many, yet as one having more leafurc then they, (asfometimc a looker on may fee what a gamefter ovcrfecs) I durft not wholly decline that taske,fo farre as this vice offered kfelfe,or came within the bounds of my Trcatife. The contempt of long hght,having begot thofe fpirituall pe- nalties of a fecure, unbeleeving, impenitent he ^rt, with apoftafie from the truth : how (hould it bee otherwifc, but the fpirit of grace muft ftraiten it felfe exceedingly, both in removing of many helpcs, and a fruitlcffe living under fuch as remainc < And what then muft follow, fave a formall,empty profeflion of that truth, the power whereof is wofully wanting ! Now we know,hypocri- fic cannot long continue within her owne bounds, but (he muft quickly difcover her felfe to be openly profane, alisui.j. f. When was hearing 5 and worfli'p(in the memory of mini accompanied with fo much wicked eife < or vvhen hjd Popery bettery colourtorrad ce «.ur Gofpellforadv> ftrine of Jicentioufnefle t And while men h, ve leaiure enough for every other thii^, who lookes at reforming of ill manners f And how juftly doth God leave men, who will not be as they onghr, <,with H*z,acl) to prove worfe then they feemed f What argues this , that men livirg in a pra&iceof dnznkenncfTe and uncleanneffe, darepreafe upon a Minifter of Chrift, forcomfortto their foults,as imagining it to belong to. them? Is it not afignc TotheRtuUr. 2 figncof a fpirit of giddincffc reigning in the world, ouc ofdeepc doringupon their prayers and hypocriticall wo^flilp i Hith fuch a Baalamifli confcieficc ever appea- red 5 and fo commonly as now it doth in all places t Dare Ufury, diunkcnneflc, covetoufnefle, fwcaiing, (which arc more infamous and hated) openly proclaime their flume : and doc wc thinkc that more fecret finncs,whicb love the darke,arc not much more generally pra&ifed,as fodomy,fornication and wantonneflc i For which fake the wrath of God juftly comes upon the children of difobedicnce! And this fourth was my ftrongeft reafon. Now then as my endeavouis want not due motives, fo it lyes in thee for whofe fake ] have written, to look to thy fclfe, left it bee undertaken in vaine ! If there be little hope that my Pbyfickc (not mine, bur Gods) will workcany great Cure, yer I wifti it may prove preven- ting to fuch as yet remaine untainted? What the luce efTe is like to be, h es not in mee nor thee to determine ! At lead this I defire, that they who arc entred,or are ft tcr the eftate of Marriage, may find the ferules fomwiut advantagious to further them in their choice,or to guide them in their coiufc ! I (Kill bee happy in my defJg e, if citherof thefe be obtained: to the ette<5ling whereof I commend all to his grace, who hath bv his providence brought thi<. Trcatife to an.end, both for mee to publifli* andtorthectopcrufc ThifitinthtLtrd^ D.R. The Tabic, mmatm mmmmmmmmmsi A Tabic describing the feverall Contents of the Chapters of this Treatife 3 and the Appen- . dix thereto. Chapter „i, f^Onwms the JLndyfe of the Text : The firfl point bandled,\\z. Marriage is honourable. Chap. 2. More fuB Explication of the facialis in which the honour of Marriage conffis : {king the ground of the Treattfe evfuing :) viz, in entrance and continuance : Entrance firfl \ that is<> Marrying in the Lorti^bandled. Chap.]. Thcfccond requifite unto a good En* trance handled : viz. Aptnefjeand Sutabkneffe. Chap. 4. y* firfl digrefiion : Touching Qonfent of Parents* with fundry G^eflions and Objections anjwired. Cbap.5. JfecondDigrefiioni touching a ['on- tratt : what itU^ andjundry Qutres alout it an- fared and r4ohed. Chap&Vt&urnetotbeJirft Argument: The fecond The Table. fecond pa* t of the Marriage honour to be preferred, to *.* in the Man ied condition : and that bothgerieratt andfpiciaO; in^enerall by fome mutuall Duties con- cerning them both. Fottre o? them named. The fir ft handled, viz Joint conjentm ^ligkn. Chap. 7. The ft condjoynt Duty of married cou- pkshaitJedjo ^it ) Qo-ijuga/lloVe. Chap. 8. Treateth oj the t\ ird pint Duty of the Married^xiz.Zbaflity. Chap.9. Contatneth tl)e fourth and laft Dutie of joint ntjj in Marriage, viz, i on/ nt. Chap, i o. proceeds to th-f pet jonall offices of ei- ther partie. And fir ft of the Husband. Ibreeftte- rail duties named. The fir ft of them handled 5 viz. /.£ at he be a man oj Vnderftinding, Chap. 1 1 . Goes on to the fecond perfonaU Duti: of the Husband Jo Jfctfj F)0Vi 'encr. Chap. 1 2. Treateth of the third and laft (bee tail duty of the Husband, viz Giving Honour or \ejpe- ttiVoieleto the Wife Chap 13. Handletff the fecond fort of fpetiai Duties^ to'uuty of the fTife 1 tree of than turned. Thefirft of fbe to handled, viz. Subjection to her Husband. Chap. 14. Vn to the fecond Pectdiar 1 nty The Tabic, Duty of the Wife, viz Hdpfulnefje. Chap, i y. Tre&tetb of the third and lajl Duty of the Wife, ^hkh is Grace fulnrffe : therewith the former V{e of Exhortation, to honour Marriage is concluded- Two other ufes of the point added, a mi ft the Tbbole Treatifefini/bed. Chap 1 6 . Is an Appendix to the Treatife. Gods judgements againfi the de filers of Marriage^ terrible. The point handed. Q{eafons added. jfQueftman- fwered for explication of the DoUrine. SomeVfes* Of Terror. Admonition. Chap. 1 7. The maineVfe of Exhortation toe* fueChaflity. Sundry meanes andcotmfels propoun- ded at large. *dndfoaconclufionofthe'*holetjook. The end of the Contents of the Chapters. MATRI- Matrimoniall Honour : A TREATISE OF MARRIAGE. Hebrews M 5* Marriaoe U honourable, and the bed undefiled : but Whoremongers and Adulterers , God TbiB ]wige. __ _-__ _______^^__— ■* . Chap. I. The Analffe rftht Text. I he fir jl point bundled, That MarrtJfe U konourabU. HAT the peculiar aime of Saint jhefcope o( FmhI inthisEpiftlc might be, in the ;c c * enterlacing of a folem.i praifc of mar- riage betweenethc fourth and the fix: verfe of this Chapter (which are of another garbe and nature) may per- haps feeme qtieftionable to a Header, not obfervant of the circumftances of times and perfons. Sure it is,that the Apoflks lcopc is very orderly and familiar. Tor having in the former Chapter propounded the Doftrine of juftirtca- tion in the caufes thereoftbothmatter & forme j and having alio very effectually built thereon tfcat great exhortation, to B bclcevc MMrimomdli Honour : or beleeve, and to live by faith. In the chapter before this, he Chap.ii. proceeds to the urging of obedience and holineffe, in the generall : and in this 1 3 . chapter he proceeds to particula- rize and inftance in fome fpcriall, and fome perfonall orfi- ces and acfs of Chriftian pradice. But for the queftion mo- ved, what fliould caufe the Apoftle to thinke this argument of Marriage as weighty as the reft, and to equall it to other Doclrines handled ia this place ; may be fuppofed, not to be from a common notion, fwimming with other things in his minde, and uttered by courfe : bur, probaoly from fome oc- cafion ofreallandprefentneceflity moving him. I will pro- pound what feemes to me the truth. There were at the time of writing this Epiftle, two forts and practices of men very rife, and that of contrary intention; the one of: heathenim. prophaneneffe, the other of Iewifh fuperftition : the Hea- thens, as they thought (ingle fornication no finne at all (as appeared by their common praclice of it ; ) and adultery it frlfe, none of the greateft finnes ; fo, they lieighrei all de- nunciations of Gods wrath and judgement againft either; andfnorted fecurely in the praclice of both. '1 ne lew, on the contrary extreame , comes i. with his Superftition, as thinking there is* no way to controll this impiety, fave by maintaining a flat contrariety unto r, viz,. That Marriage it Jew confuted felfe is unlaw full. Paul himfelfe taxethfuch fiilfe teachers, in his conceit For bidding to marry, that is, eroding Gods owne ordinance, of Manage, provided for the iafeguard of chaftity. Much like the Pa- 1 TKn.4.3. — £ s at t — s ^ a y 3 f Lin< J rv of whole pofitions favour of no other itraine, then to op : ofe one errour by a farre woile. As,be- caufe they fee mens lives very barren of good workes, they have no other way to draw men to be forward in weldoing, then by a falfe Doctrine, that workes are meritorious. Like- wife, rinding fault with mens backwardneffeto Mortificati- on ; in -Policy, they devife fuch Penances of the flefh asGod never ordained, to whip themfelves with cords befet with needles, and fharpe pricks, or to (land up naked to the chin in cold wat^r, or to fill: from all kinde of flefh, to goe bare- foot on pilgrimage, to renounce the world, fell ail, and live inaCloifter. This myftery of iniquity wrought.early, even here a TtreHtft §f Mam* here in the mindes of fiipcrftkious I ewes and falfe teacheri , who found no way to alay the flame ,fi fire : and therefore, to qua£h hcathenifh contempt 6f mar- riage by whoredome, orthc corrupting thereof y \dul- tery, the} artirme no marriage or carnal! knowledge at all, to be allowed to ChriftLns ; wnch remedy is much worfe then the diieaie ; as if the lite of c Dlvcls (adultery ) could be overthrowne by the doclrine of 7)/Wj, which \s 3 defiance { -~ of marriage. We fee this (topping of the llreame, hath in , . allagts doubled the rage of all kinde of uncleannede. Here therefore, the Apoltle, that he might oppofe both thefe ex- tremities : firfr, thefuperftition of the lew, tels him, Marrr- age u honourable ; and therefore an ungodly thing to difaftnU an ordinance. And the bed is undcfled : there is no neceflity of making our felves Eunuches, to avoid unchaflenc ife. And on the other fide, to the Heathenifh, or lately converted kom Pagan prophaneneflfe, this he addes, But whorcmonoers And Adulterers God will judge : q.d. Let no man ftrengthen himielfe in his adultery ortilthineffe, under pretext of the Heathens* pi. lawfulneiTe ofcarnall knowledge : for why ? whether men nion ^ inin ' goe to common harlots, and defile virgins%iore openly, as Whoremongers ; or goe to worke more covertly, l*hi owding their finne by the Married eftate ; although for a time, they may defile or be defiled, without feare or checke : yet, they mult know, that the God ofm rriage and purcneiTe,wiH one day inperfon fit upon them,and lliew his deteftation of fuch wayes, by plaguing tatm, be they great or fftiall, high or lowe, Princes or Pefants. As once Laumer y thzt holy Mar- tyr, upon an handkerchiefe with a bookc wrapt up in it, and prelented to a King,wrote this very text for a pofayFormedm tores 07- Adulteros judicablt r Don>i,ws. The words then containe in them a Difcretive proporri- The Analti on ; the which divides it felfe into two truths j either an af- ot ,t# fertive, or denouncing truth : onely there mult be concei- ved to be a fecret defeel of the words in them both, which mult be fupplied for the making up of a fullmea ing.Touch- ing the Aflertion firft, its two fold ; the one concerning the Ordinance it ielfe,Ji ." ; cheo.lv- I 1- B a MdtrimoMdB. H9nw : or, ing the ufe of it; And the bed is undt fled '(for fo I read it accor- ding to the Text and fcope.) The fecond truth denouncing, divides jit felfe into two parts ; either a Threat," or the ob- jecTthereof: the Threat is a gairift the corrupters of marri- age, Godwill judge them. The object is double; firft, forni/ca- tors, fuch as mixe unlawfully with the fingle, either harlots or virgins, making thefe whores, or nourifhine them that are fo, in their trade. Or elfe Adulterers, who (although ei- ther of the parties married , caufe adultery) yet being married, doe linke themfelves with other mens wives, for the conccalement of their villanie, and fo of baftardy. Both thefe, the one for his manifeft and open, the ©ther his fub- till and cloie uncleanencfle, fhall be adjudged by God him- felfe. The conceived defecl of the fentence, lyeth in the oppofition of the part. c , thus, v':z,^ ALtrriage is honourable, the hedii wide filed) and hie fling is upon all that fi prefer ve it. Bat Whoremongers and Adulterers are difhonourable, debauched ones, and God will curfe and plague them. I will go- through both the parts, God alTifting : and firft of the firft.. Thefirft point Marriage ie homrzble : and that for fourcrefpecTs : firft,{n Mirriagt i« the parts of it : Ikcondly, in the nature of it : thirdly, in the honourable. u f c f it :. fourthly, in the quality or facredneffe of it. Por How? .nfcure ^ p am otit^if the marriage is 6eft where the parts of it are rc pc *• fo (in concrcto at leaft) the wife and the husband, both pre- cious peeces. Of the wife we have fundry Scriptures for TheErfi re- h cr honourable neffe :- ftie is called the gift of God :^ its the ufe *** of the holy Ghoft to ftile excellent things, Gods things, as the Mount of God, the city ofGod y thc houfe of God, the garden of God: becaufe excellency cannot owne anything which is bafe :Gods greatneiTe gives no common git ts,fo that a wife Woman ho. * s no common bleiling : the is Gods womanmot onely made curable. by God, as fhe is his creature alone (fo by finne {"he both loft ViQy.i$.i** t her owne, and her husbands royalty alfo : ) But, as ftiee is made up againe by Gods grace, to a better image then ftiee loft ; and fo, honorable by a fecond creation : yea, reftored toman with advantage,, much better then fhe firft brought unto him in Paradife. By this meane, me becomes an helpe inftead ofa fnare, a true gift of God, an excellent peece,for which A TrcMifc of M 'arrtige \ which a man may blefle God while he lives. This, I fay,in WUnria^c is the firft place, as the chiefe around of her honour :. and yet |„°™ ^7" this is not all • {he is called the crowne of her husband,both ! a " ^ ^ c ft,il ^> bySa l m** (v&ng that word)and by Saint/W/,calling her hi* j ercl |, iti fee llorjy who before was his utter flume. Grownes, we know, Pfal.$8.rf. are very precious things and honorable, lervingto grace Go <* wot things of chiefe eminency, Empcrcurs,Kings and Princes : [° fc^i?"" Grownes are made of the pureft gold, embellithed with the r> :0il j 4% " coRlieft P earlefl, fet in with curious workmanfhip. So again her price is laid to be farre above Rubies : yea, Wifedome her Prp.ji.io, felfe, and a good wife, are not far different in their dcicrip- tions ; no jewrll is to be compared to her, farre above lil- ver, yea, the choifeft gsld. Happy is he upon whole head fuch a crowne is fet,to whom heaven hath given fuch a gift. The other party is the Man ; we know the man doth etbe- Mm honoura . cially refembie the image of God, and in that refpeft is the \>\ Ct Wives head : and although by her iinne, he came to loie his i Cot.n ;. honour, yet if he be a good man, he is a man of undeman- ding, and of an excellent fpirit ; yea, better then his neigh- Pro. 17.17. hour. Not a Ruberi any longer,, whofc dignity is gone, but as Nebuchadnezzar, reftorcd againe to his former, yea grea- en * 9 '** tcr glory ; as lob, whofc latter life was kc:ter then the for- mer ; in whom the ma jetty, authority and wifdome of\ jod h ^'^ z \ 4 Xt doth (hine. Conclude then, if born the members of this bo- dy are io honorable, what muft the whole be ? If each of them be fo precious,whatisthe compound ? if a ring alone be richjwrut is it with a richer pearle enclofed in it? As we fee when a Prince and heire of a crowne marries a Prin- cede dowager, how glorious is their union ? how honora- ble their concurrence ? This may ferve for the fir 11 of the fourc. Bar f lcaftanyjKoiid allcdge, that the Text feeakes not The feconi oftheic that make marriage honourable ; but iai:h,Marriage refprftof ha-; (as fuch an ordinance) is honourable : therefore let the par- ™*' Th 5 ties goe, and come to the nature and kindc it fcifc of marri- JJ ,£|L^ age. The Gfeeke word here ufed,is the fame which is ufed * ftt.i.s. 2 Pet. j.i. and may as well be tranflated Precious ,or of Worth and value, a collly thing : and fo it well befits AUrrUge; for B 3 % °why? MdtrimwiaU Hmenr : or, why ? Its precious in the nature ©f it. A Prince is a pre- *Sam.i8.$. cious peece in himfeife ; Thou an worth ten thousand of us (fay the people to "David) without any other refpe. ,j4. the jealoufieonely of revenging man (whofe heart cannot be pacified with gifts, in cafe of fuch violation which ar- gues a facred depth of thoughts upon fuch an in juftice,) nor oncly in the punifhments inflicted by hum me lawes there- upon (fome whereof make the wronged party his owne ju- ry, judge, and executioner.) But efpecially the juft hand of the God of marriage, going out againft all offenders in this kinde, againft chaltity (which fhould be kept in this fa- cred Cabinet) and not oncly againft the party offending himfelfe,but alfo his name and pofterity. As the text it felfe addes, and we mall profecute in the end of this Difcourfe ; But, vehoremongets and adulterers God will judge. Sum up there- fore all thefe refpeds in one, and conclude, if marriage be fo folemne and precious in her parts, nature, ufe,and facred- nefl^, then doubtlefle it is true both in the nature and ufc of it, That Marriage is honourable, and the bed is unde filed. So much for the opening of this firft point. 1 come now to thcVfe. Tirft i A TrcAtifc of Mtrrugt* Hrftthen,is marriage fo honourable I Woe then and tcr- Vfc i. rour to all inch, as directly or indirectly, by doctrine or : >ra- i errour to the ctice, openly or fecret, by thought, word or dc^d^ d ire vio- ^'fl^oourcr* late marriage; whatfoever they ar«,EpicurCS,Papifts,Protc- ' ftants, unmarried men or married, do deface rmrru^e, either really or occafi#nally,£a{ting their dungupon it,they are all guilty.l : irft,hereletalPapifts,Icfuites,Prieftsoi others,with *. all their fom enters and adherents, tremble and be affiamed, A 5 Jln ^ P> who have dared fo many times to dishonour maniage, and P 111 '* fo many wayes *o defile it. Their Clergy, forfooih, are all cut off at one blow from ir, yea, though it be a Sacrament. How juftis ir, that fuchfhould be left co the fpint or giddi- neftc, that they (hould with the fame mouth be compelled to maguific that with moft hoiinefle, which yet they debar their mod holy order of Priefthood from ? or rather lecretly confeffe, what a polluted order it is? which diidaineth the nfe of that, which (chough erronioufly) they call a Sacra- ment ? The ftatc of marriage is with thefe impure ones, an eftate of flich as live in the flcfh. Better were it (fiith their Champion Be liar mine,) for a Prieft to defile himfelf with ma- p Jp jft s h av - c ny harlors,, then to be married to one wife. When the tram- perfonall Sa~ pet gives fo certain analarme and found of defiance to mar- cramentt, riage, who fhould dare venture upon it ? Thefe children of the purple whore, fcorne that their great revenues ftiould ferveto maintaine the honourable ort-ipring of marriage ; therefore God leaves them t© be more filthy, and to let fuch a filthy oft* fpring maintaine none, favc the children of for- nication. Marriage was honourable in the Church, not a- mpng Lay-mea onely, ibut (in the old Teftamcnt) with the high Prieft, and all his Tribe (which yet were typicall of the purencfle of Chrift himfelte) and Mofes himfelfe, a man who was conveifant with Cjod, and fpake to him face to face, was married : after Chrift, with the Apoftles them* fclves, notwithstanding their travel%Saiin Peter their grand Patron (and l\ml had the fame power) with the Evangc- lifts, and many religious Billaops and Overfeers of Chrifts nocke, from their times to many generations fallowing.TiU the myiUry of iniquity, which long before had bin laid as C i Lcrea, io MdtrtmMtit N$*$ur : or, leven, and bcganto workc, was groirne at length to open t Tin.#.t. Do&rinc of Divels, in rejecting of marriage, and practice ©f Di*els, in playing the Sodomites and whoremongers; for Sec'ourUar- generally this taint hath run through them all (if Hiftories Red writers m!L y fc e belccvedj from the head to the foot. And although C«nw. j ^ en y not) Dut man y votaries among them, abftaine from uncleanne{Te,fome more,fome leffe ; yet their Doctrine frets bTi».t«i7* i x k c a Canker, to defile and dishonour this honourable Or- dinance. Away ye hypocrites, and vanilri at the light and luftre of this truth;! your workes infecret are fuch,that it is a (hamc onely to name them, the Sunne bludiing at them :.your Cloyfters of both fexes, vaults,privies,fi(hponds t and the like, have witneffedfufficicntly (by the confeffion and fanction of a great Pope and Prodor ofyourownc) what hellifti abominations doe fwarm under the fhroud and vaile of yourdefiancc of Marriage, i kc lite an i How jufHy hath the Lord (by giving over fuch, both to prafticc of Pi- finnes unnaturall and unlawfull)difabied them of credit and pift* juflly pu- ability, to difhonour that which they fo abhor ? fo that their niflicdbyGod worc [ s againft marriage, which they nickname, a living m the flefh, arc no {lander to it. For as the Proverbc faith, Clo- di/waccufeswhoremaftcrs, and Catiline Cethegus, to be a traitor. This errour of theirs, never paft without contradi- ction, from firft to lafl in the Church, notwithstanding their violence have brought it to this. As Saint Paul ofthofe i THef.i.M Iewes, fo I ofthefe, God they oppofed,andman they difre- RcucLi8 x. g ar ded; hatefull and hated of all men. God hathfaid, It is G r Xl i not good for man to be alone, kr fnaresfake. They fay, its not good to be married/orDevotions fakc;abufing that Text,/// not o-ood for a man to touch a woman. As jiuslin faid bctwixt'Dtf- natus and hi mfelfe, Whether of the two beleeve you ? fo fay \ k between God and thefe. And,man they controll $ for here the textcals marriage honourable £ among ail] poore and. rich, fimple, learned, noble,.bafe, minifter, people ; all men. What then are thefe ?■ men, or beads in their likencfle,with womens faces, lions quaiities,.or rather Divels in the fiefti. That which they raife up as high as a Sacrament among men, they beat down and anathematize to hell among them- t felves. A TrtAtifc of Mdrridgt. 1 1 felves. But I leave them to the diicovery of their owne fed fometimes, Luther mi other?, who upon the experi- ence of them, loatkedtheni ; and therefore (though at their parting Satan foined and ragedjeven out of horrour of con- science, departed fr©m them. No wonder; for who could endure the focicty of fuch theeves, as have robbed the earth of men, men of honclty, and heaven of Saints, as a learned manfpeakes- As for their deifying of virginity above marriage (which foptth m*g« partly they colour over with Saint leroms prepoiterous zealc n ^V}H ot „ vir - againft VigiUntins ) let me anfwer with that wife towne- R^J^**™*" Clcrke of Ephefus, fpeaking to the tumultuous people, Who Aft$ l# ,|# knoweth not that virginity is precious ? But grant it be fo. What ? can it not be praifed without the difgrace of ruarri- age ? Is the eye of the one evill, becaufe the other is good? Can no oblation pacific the one,but the honour of the other depraved, and a facrifke of the heads of married men? doth (he not cut downe the bowe (lie ftands on, yea brcake her owne ncckc, in deftroying marriage ? To be fure,none are fo unfit to commend or defend her, as they who confute marriage by the fame uncleaoneffe whereby they defile vir- ginity. Virgins, I confefle, have their honour, yea,thofe Eunuches who have made thcmfelves fpiritually fo for the Mat. ip. 12. kingdomc of God, are praifeworthy. And, as that c Demom- *ck* faid, lefus -me k^oyt^ and Paul ire k»ow y bnt vrht are ye ? So ^ s l 9- l f • we, marriage and true virginity we admire, but as for you, what, or whence are ycc ? If you fpeakc a good word for it, it were meet (as they at Athens were wont in the Senate to do)to take it out of your unvirgin-like unfeemly mouthes, and put it into the mouth of honeiter perfects. Praife itinkes in the mouthes offuch as doe reproach more by deeds, then their mouthes can commend. As the Poet once faid of the cold Poetry of them who commended fading with their bellies full : fomay I fay of you, who praiic virginity, your felves having bodies debauched with uncleannefTe ; your brc ath is not iweet enough for this workc, nor your words ftron^ enough, to make you btleeved. None but Oratours can praife eloquence! nor any, lave cfcaftc virgins, fingle C 2. life: 12 M&tnmmaR Henw : or, life, whether married or unmarried. One once faid of the great Turkes horfe, that no graffe grew after where he had once trod ; fo, neither did ever virginity thrive upon your praifes. As Lecufts cat up all before them, fe doth your un- bridled luftj and the mere, by how much its vailed with the vow of that Chaftity, which becomes tbegreateft fnare of uncleannefie, to them that make it. Thus, much for the firft branch. i. Branch of But to leave thefe, I Would alio apply this truth to a fe- tcrroar:againft condfort of men, for their diftionouring of marriage. Such all prophaners j meane, asdoe (though not by Popifh, yet) by their un- ©f »amage. c i eanc lives and practice, defieurc and difgrace this Ordi- nance. The moft reall and chiefe offenders in this kinde, who by their manners doe r ot onely impute, but infill e (in a fort) a blot and fhame into marriage, cauling it to ftinke by their finne, which God hath honoured and blefled. And i Sam.2.2 -» . && arc r ^ c fucceffours of Hophm and Tfnnees, whofe open and Hvamcleffe pollutions by whoredome and adultery doth corrupt it. A courfe in thefe dayes fo common, that not onely among the viler fort its thought nothing (for there be of the ignorant and bafer fort ot people who arc free from it) but even of them, of the better fafhion alfo (wher« grace rules net) of whom in the end of this Treatife 1 (hall ipeake more. But befides thefe, how doe the lives of fuch as live in this eftate of marriage caufe men to vow the gro- fell: uncleannefTe, rather then they would be fo married ? As once an Heathen faid, If this be- the practice of Chriftians to eat their God, and to kill their.King, let my foule be with the Phiiofophers. So fay J, the bale curfed lire of many pro- . feffours, who brawle, icold, fight,and live at defiance with each other,caufes many ungodly ones to prefer a fingle life, though befmeared with all forts oflufts contemplative, pra- clical^natural^unnaturalj, with wivcs> t 4ots,or as they can, rather then to marry ! that is to fay, I. t my ioulc be with the adulterers. 1 fay to fuch married pcrfans* ftumbling-bl&cfcs . and eye-fores ; perhaps ycr* : i*y. @e guil i your felvis; v )u. verily,many by your becafioo*are as deeply t -mp- ted to unclcannes^as others are fey & ements ofbawds and A TrtAtifi of Mdrriu^f. I 3 and companions of harlots. Well,as odious as vow arc,yet is Mtrriagi hon9Hr*bL in herfelfe : you doe as much as in you lyeth (and Chill anfwer for it, as well as if it were in your power) to defile it;bmt yet you cannot defile that which ^ed hath enftamped with hoaour. To fee Tome married couples, how thev bring up tl brats to all filthineile ofminners : to lee zAhabi an j le^abt 4 , K , t . , both combining together in villany : to fee the Wofull con- (kfionof bad wives with good husbands, or them with as bad wives, drawing in a moil unequ ill yoake : Nabtls and AblfAilSy Mo[csi\-\\ Zipporas • would it not caufe men to , '*' • », : r u j\- u c •> c u 1 j t • ; ! ' I by the ft-op their notes at the ltinch oh marriage ? Should this be> 4 -,. h if men kept the honour of marriage unftained? If they were fomecouples, jealous to iurrer any eye to behold ttuir unfeemelincue,leaft £10^4.15. marriage fhouLi be difhonemrcd .' To lee the reparation of liich in the Countrey of all lorts,as depart from their yoake- fellowes, abandoning each other I y Law,orlawleile divor- ces, from bed, bo.ird, and affection (I meane by wilful! fe- parating themlelves) would it not eaufe men to irke marri- age ? To behold varlets and monfters openly, and in the face, and defiance of Courts and Lawes, without penanc or due pui lint and punifhment, todoeasZ/wr; and Cozhi s «"n»*J-*«M did (though with contrary fucceffcj to bring their who; s and the baftards they have begotten by them, no; onely tn - to their houfes and under their wives nafes, but t< \ n in their beds, to force them 10 afford them like nurcery and equall tcarmrs with their owne : would it 1 - thens themlelves to fpueus e:u I To fee great men to relia- quifti znd cad up their chaftc and -> (whom they at firft loved and foueh: with th< • I ■> bition) and to give themfelves to v ceurfes; would it not rraymen fi;om m nJ Civ theydid, If the cafe (land fo, it is not' good 1 conclude, to fee but me bale > art th riages, how men loeke onely at the p , ; howthej nnytakein^orp- bell vantage (as cattle in a market be they never iodebaucut, dru c ight bulVi i ■ uld 14 MMrimoniiiU Honm* : or, wo aid it not provoke men to vomit iiich marriages ? A wor- thy wire cannot be fiimxiently prized, a man cannot tell rrov.51.xo. what to aske for f'uch apearle ; and a bad one defcrves no price, being the word of vvaies : the one is above this line, the other is under ir> neither ought to be bought and fold : I fay, thefe, and other the like abufes,as the perpetuall jealou- iies bctweene fome couples (not the worft perfons, yet bad inmarriage) their finiftcr conceits, mehncholike diftem- pers, how doe they make this commodity ©f marriage, yea and a better too, even religion itfelfe (which too many fiich profeffe) to be badly fpoken of. But in the meanc time, by theie rests and diforders the innocent Ordi- nance heares ill ; as if, by her default, fuch evils were corn* Butted. n c 3- . I proceed to a fecond ufe of Admonition • and that is, to Aa !r€°v'enuh a ^ ^ 1Ch aS ^^ L1 P° n tria ^ ^ llC * C DUt thcir crrorS » or e ^° can diflionour «f prove their endeavour to preferve this honour of marriage mintage entire and unftaincd. Sundry are the feares and griefes I know of the weake (though religious couples) when they looke backe to their beginnings : fome to confider how rawly they entred into this condition at ftrft, and iince ha- ving found God to be more gracionr/o reclaim them home, or the husband and wife that before was averfe : yet when they alio thin! e, how unthankefuily they have requited God for it, waxing light, wanton, worldly and locfe ; they cannot chuf'e, but they muft be in bitternefle for it. Others, although they have entred into this eft ate with much zeale, refolution, and confent of heart, to honour God to their ut- termoO: in it : yet alas, when they come to weigh ferioufly how many dayes 3 moneths and yeeres are come over their heads tn a nioft unprofitable fort ; gray haires being upon them, without an v impreflionof fruit,and growth in good; able to fay little for themfelvcs, either for religion, walking betweene thcmfelves, praying for and with each other, joynt care in education of their children; yea,that they have fcunaored each other in their bale corruptions, bolftred each other in worldlineffe (which hath eaten up their ftocke) not fuffered grace to revive but to dvCay ; ierving their < turnes A Ircdtifc ^fUarru^e. I T i rurnes each of other, onely for common an i vanifhmg end* oftheirowne : fpent Sabbaths carnally, and little deli-hted in them for Gods caufe, fruitleflfein hearing, and Family du- ties : oh! much caufe of griefc muft needs be tofucK Be therefore admonifhed, height not the care of maintaining of Religion in your marriage, with all folicitous careful- ndVe, fhunning that which might weaken ir,the honour and comfort of it. Crowncs of honour are tickle things , and looke whatfoever it be that hath much honour put upon it, hath withall much care, anxiety and burden annexed, be- ware then : fcum not off the fat and fwect «f the honor and content of marriage ; but as for the burden and iervice of it, to ieckc God, to worihip him joyntly, to ihun all occasions of eafe, carnall occalicns of jollity, unchafte company, you are loath to take the pames : furely, you Ih ill finds at lift : repentance will be the bed fruit of fuch fleghmeffc : it is itrauge how little this is beleevrd at iirir, till experience have taught it : but men thinkemarriage to be a buckler to Mirrijgeno fence off allblowes :iolong as they love one another fas s * klcr t0 they thanke God, that they doe heartily, though with a rot- " r . c "? u ' ?* x x , u , i i i • i /i in bad c©utlcf . ten love) that will hold them in, as the corner-ltone doth the fides of an houfe. Others take marriage to be an eftate of loofe liberty, to live as they lid, and therefore observe no caution, nor fearc any danger , till at laft they bewaile the ir folly, when they fee how by their rafh improvidence, they have brought a (hare of poverty upon themfelves : others, an habit of pleafures and expence, till, both time,thrift, and heart be all loft and pad recall. Others there arc 1 , who by their froward, pecvifh Carri- age have provoked each others to wearmefle, impatience and diicontcnt : others, have drowned themfelves in Laft, andled each others by bafe example tq follow them; and infteadofcoaaplainers of each others, to be as deep in and overfhoocs therein as the other, thereby heaping diieafes and needleffc forrow upon theu heads. And whereas for lacke of mature regard and prevention, they have pierced through themfelves with the fruit of their finrie f then they eiy out toolat*, wifhing they had bin wifer to keepe this crownc 1 6 Matrimonial! Ifartow : or, crowiK entire from ftaine and difhonour ! Kings and Em- perours have fo fleighted the due care of their crownes,that they have brought ruine and miiery upon themfelves ,, by running into exceile of contempt : as in the example of Rehcboam wee fee. But when as for their loofe exorbi- tant vvayes, they have come to feethofe fad effects which followed, they have wifht their crownes againe,upon con- dition of improving their honour with ten times more tem- perance and wifedome. How much more then have mar- ried perfons cauie to abhor their carelefneffe ia this kinde, and to binde fore* if they lookc to findc fure^ that is,t« prop up the honour of this ordinance, if they will enjoy the qui- et fruit of jighteoufoeffe, by their good behaviour. If a NJi- niller ©r Magiftrate having more honour put upon them in their places then others., mould carry themfelves the more dildainfully, and beare themfelves fo upon their places, that they care for no man, nor baulke any Uad courfes, doe they looke their honour fhouid beare them out ? ftiould not God i $31x1.1.30. {ay to them, Thofe whe honour me, f will honour ; but fuch as reproach me, I will make vile ? If private perfons excelling others in gitiS) fhall not attend to humility and fear of them- ielves, fhall not their glory end in their mame, their gifts in ba.rfennetfe, and their profeflion in reyok? Even to is it here ; iiieh as care nor, regard not their demeanour in mar- riage , both to God, themfelves, and their families, by (banning Offences, j ealoufies, lofle or alienation of affecti- ons ; but thinks it will alway be hony-moone, and a merry world with them, is it not juft, that their unfeafonable ru* Ines fhoiud teach them repentance too late? Therefore ConcluGon. let all married ones be warned hereby, to be fober, hcedfullj, advifed , moderate in their affections, loves, and liberties; rather walking on this fide the brinke, then otherwife : alway fearing a change, and faying, What if my follies breed in my wife (by G©ds fecret vengeance) a loathing of me ? a fire of contention in my bofome ? a continual! dropping upon my head,my content at home,my repute abroad? God keepe me within fuch bounds of marri- age as I firft vowed to keepe at my entrance. Thus neuch for the Admonition, Next, A TrCAtife of M*rri/tge. 1 7 Next, I proceed to comfort all fuch godly couples, as have Comfon to laboured to enhanfe and uphold the honour of this Ordi- good couple* nance. Try your felves then ; no doubt you fhall meet with ;vIl ° honolB uncomfortable thoughts, for your manifold failings : and no mairjJ ^ c ' doubt youthinke few religious miriages fo ill managed, and io pcorcly carried as your owne ! the many breaches and flawCS of your marriages, do caule you to mourne and con> plaiae, faying, If indeed I had lb inured and acquainted my felfe and my wife to prayer and clofe wcrfhipping of God ; if I had wiidome and underftanding enough to be Cods voyceto my wife to guide her : if I had abftained from the fnares and occafions laid in my way by Satan to overthrew me and my peace ; had I preferved both body and foule in that chaftity and honour that was meet B nourifhing love and amity, abhorring all occailons to the contrary, I might be- hold the face of God with comfort 1 but now my burden is encreaicd by my errours in marriage, viz. that with a flight, heedlefle and regardlefle heart, I have carried my felfe in a bufinefle of luch confequence ; upon which the well or ill fare of my life dependeth. Well, there is no doubt, but-, as in all other,ib in this part of the wheele of our converfation, to wit, of marriage ; we all iinne many wayes, and our er- rours are infinite. But now,fift thy felfe more narrowly, and leaving thy faults, examine thy felfe in intentions, in all the wandrmgs and fwervings of thy courfe. Canft thou fay,that u ; ; i:srt *«* as in all other, fo in this part of thy courie, thou hail (ought ' ^4 UrU better to be informed, what that good and accepted will of ^pardoned. God is? and accordingly, with (implicity of heart haft quit Rom n. 2.' thy felfe to thy companion, not for thine owne bafe ends and eafe,bu. that marriage might have her honour prefer- ved, offences might be prevented, God worfhipped within, and honoured without doores ; a peaceable hie in all god- linelVe and honefty preferved? I aske not whether the; have bin ftaggerings, wearinefle of the yoake, and defire after more liberties, (for who is there that finnethnot? as Salomon faid,) but, I aske this ; Halt thou denied thy felfe, 1 Kings S. and curbed thy bafe heart, to ftoope to God in drawing this yoake ; not fought thy eafe, flclhly consent, letting the ho- D nour x g MatrimomaH HQneur : or, nour of God to finke or fwim? Haft thou kurably bowed thy neck and (looped to the ordinance,acknowledging how much its changed from the firft Creation, and by fmne filled with fundry forrowes, diftempers and bitter-fweets, hardly to be avoy ded ? I fay, haft thou under all thefe, abafed thy felfe before the Lord, craved pardon of thy ftout heart and proud ftomacke, loth to yeeld, and thine impotency of thy paflions,de{iringtoteftifie thy obedience in bearing thefe annoyances,as juftly inflicted for finne ? Haft thou acknow- ledged the Lord molt wife, in fo ordering the muter for thee, that becaufe thy heart is haughty and mfolent,therfore he hath tamed thee by this bridle ; and hath by it exercifed thy faith and patience, and brought thee to the bent of his bowe ? fo that for the avoyding of farre worfe fnares, and for the comforts and liberties accruing by marriage, thou canft willingly y eeld obedience to the rules and duties ther- of, not dividing burdens from priviledges ? and thou canft correcl all thy licentioufneffe in feeking flemly content one- ly in marriage ? Surely, if infome comfortable fort theu canft fpeake thus in the eares of God, begging a pardon of all wants, and a releafe of all deferved penalties ; then I fay (according to infirmity) thou haft fought the honour of mar- riage • and to prevent the juft ftaine and afperfions thereof by thy watchfulnefle;yea,thou haft fought the honour of the ordainer therof,for thy lingular comfort, which thou mightft ill have wanted. Application What remaines therefore, but that I comfort thee from of the comfort God, and encourage thee by his promife, not onely againft the feare of thy dishonouring God, but alfo towards a more hearty endeavour to honour him further ? Surely, thou haft neede of no leffe. Thy journey is long,thy obedience diffi- cult 1 its not for a day or a moneth, but for life ; its not for a fodering up of breaches for a while, to breake out fo much Miwiage is no the worle after : its no workeof an outfide, to fet a good loofer.oriais! face upon the matter abroad, nourishing ftill the difeafe way of fervice. within ; God is no: mocked,and finnes inthiskinde are like oyle in the hand, which cannot be hid. But this obedience is a perpetuall, yet an ingenuous, humble and holy fubjeclri- on A TreAtifc of MAYriagc . 1 9 ontothe willof the fubjecler; who by it tryes men, and fhewes them all which is in the heart : fo that, I dare fay, a true obedient in mairiage,is a goodfervant in all. There- fore,as thou needeft encouragement from God (as who doth Bncouri not in difficult duties) fo, take it into thy bolbme as thine bkiu to rtligi- owne, chew upon it and digeft it: its the Lords will that ou$ ^"f thou (houldeft; I fay unto thee, that as the Lord hath put ho- nour upon this ordinance, fo thou haft iought to maintaine it, and who fo honours God, (hall be honoured of God. God can and vviliturne all the impediments and incumbran- ces of this eftate into bleffings : thou (halt rinde this eftate made honourable to thee ; thy felfe (halt finde acceptance with God in all thy fuks; fucceiTe in enterpriles,honour and eftecm amone his people : he fhall crowne thee with old age, and goo i report in the way of righteoufnefTe.Thy wife (hall be a ' lolling, no Inare ; thy liberties (hall be pure unto thee, and thou (halt Yifit thine habitation without finne, as /^lpeaks ; thou fruit drinke of the floods of milke, and but- Job ^.14. ter and honey. Thy children (hall honour thee in the gate j Job 20.17. and (hall be thy crowne in thy age ; they (hall ftand about £°. ¥ " l7 ;f" thy table as olive plants ; yea,although any of them fhould a **> '*" prove irregular, yet that fhould not condemne thine inno- cency. In a word, God (hall bring upon thee all the blef- lings promiled to fuch as honour his ordinance, even to love thine, for many generations. His word (lull not be taken Bfay.fo.ih from thee and them for ever : he will continue thee a name Ezra s 9. upon earth, and a naile in his temple, and peace upon Piai.ii*.*. lira el. Nay,T adde,that thy very obedience alone in it felffhal be M ,r crics &u _ a Welling unto thee. Doft thou preferve thy body inholines >w 'a onor ? thou (halt avoid hereby thole infinite woes and couplet, miieries, -.vhich befall the unchafte,- as poverty ,bafenelle,a rotten ■ ' _ , \ Worfe foule,a ruined eftate,bothin this world and in the world to come. Doft thou nounfh love and ami- ty betwcenc thy felfe and thy wife, that fo the peace of" God thereby may the better rule thy heart and minde ? Loe, how inhnite many garbo'des and miieries thou avoydeft of wrath, debate, envie, raylings, quarrellings and difcon- D 2 tents., 20 Matrimoniall Honour : or, tents, which bad marriage caufeth. But canft thou fay, Married cou- that befides thefe ordinary duties of the married eftate, plesmuftferve thou and thy wife have alio clofed with God in the fpe- God in their ciall fcrvice of the time, and (with good Vriab and Mc- n ™ c " t 2 fhibojheth ) moderately ufed the comforts of this life, ( du- AmTs6.6. 14 ' ring the forro wes of the Church) and bin married, as if not j remembring the afflictions of Iofeph, making them the due and daily matter of thine Humiliations and Ilequefts before Joel 2.16. God? haft thou oft, with Ioel's Bndegroome and Bride, Efay 2.6,10, come out f t hy f ea fting Chamber, to hide thine head in thy fafting chamber ( as our Saviour tels us , when the Bride- Luke y.54. groom* fhall be taken away, they fhall mourne in thofe Zach.12.17. dayes,) the husband apart, and the wife apart, for fince- rity, or both together for fervency ? Or with the Pfalmift, Doft thou delire thy tongue cleave to the roofe of thy pfal.137.5. mouth, except the joy of lemfdem be above all thy joy, even marriage joy it felfe (which yet is allowed to be great.) Surely then, I fay, thou haft honoured marriage in- deed , and as thy fib are in the duty hath bin greater, fo (hall Ef3y4.uk. it be in the bleflmg : The Lord fhall give thee an hiding place in the day of evill, and becaufe thou haft kept the wora Revcl.3. of his patience, in bad times, hee (hall alfo deliver thee in that houre of temptation, which fhali come for a triall up- on all fiefli. Hee fliall uphold thee in fix troubles, and the feventh fhall not come neere thee : The floods of great PiHI.jz.tf. waters. , with all thofe plagues which God hath denoun- ced againft thefe, fhall not come neere thee. Be cheere- full in the Lord therefore, and frill, thou and thy wife, cleave and cling to him ; deny your owne wils and car- nail reafon , and truft to his eternall ftrength ; buckle with lLlz6.7, the werke of God faithfully, and walke in his ordinance humbly, till hee come; and then he fhall bring healing in Make 5. his wings at laft ; and in the meane time, hee (hall caufe a voyce to found behinde, faying, This is the way, walke tyio.ii. ^ . f ; Hee ^ a j^ or j er y oiu> p at j les ^ re f i ve y 0ur doubts, prevent dangers , and fo preferve the foules of his Saints , Pfa!.s)i.7. that thoufands fhall fall at his right hand, and ten thou- sands at your left, you going fafe in the middeft, and fo A Treat ife of Marriage \ 2 r (o be brought &fe and well through all extremities at laft. So much for Comfort, and for this iirft Chapter. H A P II. MQrtf14HexplicdtiQftinxvb.it the honour of marriage con- fijls ( being tin ground of the Treat; fc enfuing) viz. entrance and continuance. Entrance firftjn mar- tying in the Lord^ bandied. BVT becaufe there be many mora Vies to be made of this point, ere I come to them, I defire further to open this truth, and in particular to Chew what the honour of this marriage is, and in how many things it confitls. Honoura- ble we fee it is, by that which hath bin faid ; but the quefti- §>*tt. How on is, How married couples may attaine this honour? To m *y awied which I anfwer, by two mame duties : Lirfl:, procure it : C ' JU P cs atta » n o 11 r • -n • c n u 1 • , l chls honour ? Secondly, preferveit. Procure it tint, by hying the foun- dation of it in honour ; for as the root is,fo will the branches Anfo. By two be, either honourable orreproachfull : feeke therefore to Ej un ^j fir *' enter into that eftate according to God and his rules. And, hyg00 ( en ", then iecondly,having entred well into it,manage it well al- \ y goniiauance fo, nourilli the honour of it carefully and warily, for its no whit Leffe vertue to kcepe well, then to feeke aright j and many 6egin with great fhew of honour, who yet end in fhamc. Touching the former of thefe, there is a double rule °f The former the word ; tirft, to marry in the Lord: lecondly, to marry pm;roni1l ,. aptly in the Lord. I his is the ground of an honourable mar- in :hc LorJ. riage, when as thou art content to be taught by him who firft put honour upon it, to maintaine it. Lor the former, to marry in the Lord, is to ufe our uttermoft difcrcet diligence, 5jJJJ?!j^ to feeke out fuch companions, as (in charity and likelihood) 2tie fa D 3 are aptnefle, 22 Matrimonidll Hbwur : or, To marry in the Lord, what ? 2,Cor.?.2©. Marks of i i Sarn.i?. nefie of this favour are cither already efpouzed to the Lord Iefus, their husband by faith ; and in token thereof,(it clofe to him in obedTence; or an endeavourer thereto ; that is, fuch as are in a faire and hopeful! way of inclining to it. Thefe two (I confefTe) dif- fer ; but beware left thou attempt any marriage, in which neither of thefe can be perceived. To open my felfe a lit- tle ; they^that are indeed actually married to Chriu\> have bin truely drawne to him by his Electors and fpokefrnerr, by whofe embaffage God hath treated with them, about this fpirkuall union, betweene himfelfe and them- They have well digefted the offer, and with Abigail (when fcnt for to be "Davids wik) confeffe themfelves to be fo farre from worthinefle, to be his Conforts, and to tafte of his marriage The firft fight contents and benevolence, that they are unworthy even to be fellow-fervants with his children, doorekeepers in his houfe, or to wafh and wipe the feet of his hoafhold. So vile God hath made them in the fight of their owne eyes ; (hew- ing them by his pure Law, the bafenefle of that converfati- on of theirs, wherein they have walked (as the doore al- way rolling one way upon her hinges) fo they alway living in the fame vices, foked upon their old dregs ; that hereby he emptieththem of themfelves, dafheth that pride and va- nity which puffed them up before : fo that alas, they rather thinke,thathe is throwing them out of his prefence for e- ver, then marrying them in faithfulneffe to himfelfe. By this humiliation, they come to be further acquainted with his pleafurej That even to fuch wofull ones, who have defi- led their fathers bed worfe then Reuben, yea, defaced his i- mage; yet to thefe moft forlorne harlots and children of adulterers, he is willing to be reconciled, yea,to feeke them out, as that Leuite did his concubine, yea, after juft caufe of Divorce, Icrcm. 2.1,2. to admit them to his bed againe;them- felves feeking no favour, but fleeing from him, as fhe from her Lord. By this unheard of love, heehath broken their their heamrre w horin\ hard heart and forehead of braffe, melted them in- broken hereby tQ teareSj to f ee fa bottomleffe and caufelefie companions, Zach.io.12, as Z^W^inchap.io.ver.12. calsthem : efpecially while they by rejecting or fleighting it, yea Quitting him out, and abhor- The fecond : tbey fee a re- conciliation. Judg.io Jclce - (Ion and Gods favour, that it canbeare any affronts : even as the fhooes or braffe boots of the Souldier can walke upoij E P h - r - *• rocks or pikes, and feele no hurt; ib an heart weUapaid in the Lord, is calm:, and able to cieare the coaft of all diltan- pers ; and to goe through discontents and erodes, fuch as an unquiet fpirit cannot. A third is purity, which cleanftth the J* ibule of many bad humours, veryuneGuall for marriage? iy * idfe-love. pride, difdajne wrath, heart-burning , jealosies and conceits, and mikes a man much fitter for marriage. A 4 . fourth (thelaft which I will name) is righteoufneife ; that is, ttghccmifcica, the fellowship with Chrifts holy nature, by which the foule partakes the properties ofCfriir, qualifying it with wife- dome, influence, ftrengtr , meekneile,patieiu e,fu)linei-ie,cheer- fulnefie, long-fiifEsing and companion; which graces, as they make him a meet head and husband for the Church, fo they make married couples meet he-ids and helpers for each other. Faith, I fiy # doth draw from Chrift all foch abilities and graces, as may prepare the foule to all the (ervict s which the marriage eftate cals for. Even as the (pokes orttaves of thewheele ftrengthenit, for the good motion of ir, fo doth faith ftrengthen this great mafte;-wheele of convention, which isMairiage. Againe, except the honoufof Marriaget* forelaid in the ^ entrance, when themindeis free and unpartiall, huw fhouW TnaiioVw it belike ta be provided forin marriage it felfe ? Ate ! mar- riagc many, riagc hath herhand$fiil of trial, what grace is aire uly in the (buie,onrriage will Snde a gracious heart . at the beft i for it I- gi\ en t u exercife grace. It is no t given to workc grace (without lingular mere) doc tfcafioa UJ but E to 2. Againe, others come in and civil! ; tufh, what need you be io nice, grace may come in due ieafon, no time paft, and when it comes it never comes ami ffe? I anfwer : grace is precious at all times, after marriage as well as before, if a man were fure of it ; but what ground have any to prelume of it, without iome word for it," much more being agamft it ? God may be patient, and fay, No time paft : but neither is he ; tyed to it 5 and befides, they that tempt him, are moft unlike to A Tre.it/fe of Mtmtge. 2 9 to fpeed well. Walke in his way, and then indeed, no time pad : God may, yea, and will convey his grace to a poore ibijle that waits for him. But its further objected; the bed (by their leave) have Ofaft* t failed in their godly attempts, and found worle wives then they fought. 1 aniwer : yet, they may have peace in this, that they have fought God to the uttermod : he hath hid- den himfelfe from them in this particular, as the Prophet faid to the SbHtamite : bu: they have peace in their en- i Kings 4, 27. devour, ani therefore have no caufe to give God over, but to hang upon him dill, to findc mercy in another way, that is, in the bufh burning and not Consumed : that is, that by your prayers, God hath reierved mercy lor them, and meanes to grace their enterprifes at lad , doing that for them in marriage, which he did not before, if the Lord pleafe to heare them at lad, it fhall be well ; and to Uich this free grace of his belongs, who though they have bindilkppointed awhile, yet it ism their obedience, and fo includes an hope of farther audience and iiipply from heaven. But I conclude, if any carefull ones have yet mifcarncd • fiirely,, ten times more have done fo for lacktf of it. But many religious ones may have perilous qualities, and obieft.jL, io dillionour marriage. ^Anjw. If this be done m the green Luk.j^.jc, tree, what (hall be done in the dry ? what (lull become of inch as without rettraint,even out of the abundance of their Mat. 1 1 — . evill heart, bring forth fuch fruit with full purpofe ? A Lie tcthis, their evill qualities come not from religion, but becaufe they are not religious enough to bridle and morci- tfe their lads. Its becaufe they drowne the power of their religion in their ownc fenfiality and will; detai- ning the truth in unrighreoulndTe : and no doubt fucli would Ronxi 13, be much worfe, if religion did no: now and then ftep out to moderate. But if you tye us to fuch Rri&neffe, to marry onely in the (,\ , ft t * Lord, whit fhall become ofthofe periods that are not in the Lord. J ar.fwer. Take you no thought for them, take thought rather, how (in the f\\ T arme\)f fuch) you may (nua I£ 3 puij ~jp MdtrtwoffUll Hfflttir : or 3 them, and light upon fuch as are the Lords. Asfor thefe, you flnall not need to take thought for them ; our rules will not much hinder their marriages, like will to like, do* we what we can, and the dead will bury the dead, the world Luke 9.60, -will love their owne, aad that to their mutuall forrow; and all to teach us to love fuch the rather whom the Lord loveth. What have we to doe to judge them that are iCor.5.10. w i t h out > no> we fpeake to no other but the willing people, Pfal. no. 3, who will ftandtobe judged at Gods barre. Ob : ett 6. ^ ut * ^ aVC Ca ^ m ^ ne a ff e( ^^ on a ^eady upon fuch an one, J ' andamfnarcd. \infw. Then tbrbeare a while,till all means be tryed^ox the parties bettering, and fo venture upon them. XniUn. Objett. But I cannot fofarre deny my felfe. Anfw* Thanke your felfe, God forceth no fuch neceflity upon any, if they will be ruled. If not, their fnaring themfelves with a aeed- leffe necellity, cannot make Gods command of no effect. If you can make to your f elves foch a necellity, as muft breake a charge of God,then try how well you can endure the fruit of it, when forrow,repentance and £hame (hall come upon Pro.24.34. you,astheneceflityofan armed man. Is not asgoodreafon, that you digeft this gobbet,as that the Lord digeft the other? yes furely. Obytt.i. ^ ut when all is done,perhaps we fhal miffe of our choice defired, becaufe there are fo few to be found, in this wofuli barren world, of fuch as be religious, and thofe who are butmeercly civillare counted puritans, and thofe precife whofe manners arc not debauched. Anfrv. Set not Gods piovidenceand his command together by the eares; as if he charged you to marry onely in the Lord,and yet debarred you from it in pradice ; fo that either you muft be forced to marry with all forts, or elfe muft not marry at all. No : God puts no fuch fnare upon any : looke you to your felves, that you be fuch as you goe for, and the Lord will not deceive you ; he hath good in (lore for the good. Its one of heavens 2Crot1.19.11 workes to make good marriages : and hee who hathbaJ. women in (lore for fmners> that they may fall by them j EqcIcf.r.K*. he hathalfo good ones *for the good,, that they may honour marriage A Trutifc ofMtrruze. 3 1 marriage and him thereby ; yea, and he hath wifdome, dif- cerning of fpirits, of the iiibtill flicwes and guizes of all Torts, both hypocrites and other bad ones, fo that (as fub- till as the world isj they who loathe to be cheated by their dice-play, (hall not want wiledome to judge, and favour to Ephcf.4.14. relifh the good in the midft of the bad ; they (hall hfarc a v©yce behinde them, faying, Thus is the way ; and with- Efay^o. all, giving them an care to heare, and an heart to obey, and walke therein. But to conclude, wee have met (fay fome) with good Oketl.%. companions, by providence, yet (till are we letted ; for our parents and friends (at leaft of one fide) will not confent. I anfwer : perhaps you feeke among the good, and finde better then your (elves, for fome finitter end, the beauty or the portion of the party; otherwife unworthy to fpeed : a nd what Wonder if a wife parent w f ill not confent to be- ftow his childe upon you ? But ye object: yes bo:h of us being both religious and contenting, yet parents croffe us. I anfwer: If indeed it be i^arry till I come to the next Chapter, and there I (hall fall into that argument of the pa- rents duty, and therefore I will not prevent myfclfc. We have anfwered Objections enough, and more will occur af- ter, enough therefore is laid here. Let us ruff. en to fome Vfe of the point,wherein more fatisfaftion will be given to ether queftion^. Firlr, this is terrour and reproofe to the marriages of this yfc s ot - ^ degenerate a«e ; wherein this duty ef marrying in the Lord point is caft off at large. As Rchiboams yonkers carried that weigh- i.Tcitoi and ty bufinefle of his Kingdome, and overthrew it : fo doc the Jff* 5Ctc - unruly and rebellious humours of molt youth mifcarry this, pJodhinefcor- They knit and combine themfelves together, asif they were ncrstomarry right grave Counfc Jours, wifer then their parents and anci- w tbc Lord, ents, aifdaining that any (hould over-rule theii rath and re- ' cr ^eJ. bellious appetites ; and fo with raih rcfolut ions and fury of * Kin ^ s I2,lc undeniable patlions, they ru(h themfctyes upon the pikes of eternal] mifery. If once their parents be dead, then moft of thefchot-fpurshave made fure enough, for the honour of marriage : for by that time they cojnJtof yeeres (if not be- |$ MtirimimH Bmnt * or^ fere) moft of them have embezeU their patrimonies. Butif not, yet in this point of marriage this is their refolutionj Ju'g.T* |. Give mcher,for (he pieafethme well : (The may pleafe well Jofli' i j.i0 s for a moment, though (lie be a prick in the eye* and a goade in the fide for ever after,) And fo for a vanishing content, to a vaine humour, what doe fuch, but enthrall themfeives to a wanton, waftefuli and wilfull ungodly companion ? And as the Heathen faid of a bad bargaine, it vexes\he foo- lifh buyer more with the continual! upbraiding, then the loife ofthe money,fo may 1 lay ofthisi and as Sampfw found this at iesfure, for the wilfull ninde he bare to have VedU ; fo docthefe, But alas [ th'ere is no feafon for fuch as he was,to beleeve i:(being intoxicate with the ciap ofinchant- ment, difabling them from taking better counfelU) But why thenfpeakelthis? Surely, becaufe I fee religion among young couples, for the moft part,isttie firft of thole refpe&s which are laft thought of Defperate and ftolien waters are iWeeteft to fuch j like thofe of the Berywites^ who rufhing i? 9 V' * mo a C0IT) ,P an y f dancers, m^^ir jollity, fnatcht up each J y g ulf « nun y s v/ify, as (he came to nand, prove well or ill, for bet- ter for worfe; for why, they fought wives, not good ones, and that any way, fo they had chetn* What a merry world were it for our debauched drunken youth in thefe our dayes, if tbey might cboofe their wives in inch a lottery. To catch (among a drove) each one his owne marrow pell-mell : oh what aVave thing were it? There is apleafure in doing that which is forbidden* to our curled nature, even becauft it is fo j and if it were not ft, they would dye upon a fwords point, ere they would attempt it. And notwithstanding the woe of fuch marriages, bpth againft Gods worddaw of rea~ fon,confem of parents, yea,the general! experience of fuch as are gone before them* yet, who m^xy fpeake tofach* 9 Surely mch matches are made in hell, Ukeare fallen upon jike by the Divekfookefinahfbip ! as J confefle, better one houfe troubled wjtfe (rich, chen two* But what a fid thing k it .to thhike,whata curled pofterity fuch are Hke to hatch 3 I GyiUch, as whereof one or two might pdfon an whole AsGen.6*,j ndghbourhood? Dampen meetings s marriages , revel- lines. A TrcAttftof MtrttAgt. 33 lings, Marquets, Fayres, Tavemes and Alehmifes, being the places wherein fuch chufe their companions. But of this enough. A fecond fort coming here to be reproved, are not fo de- u Branch tf bauched as thefe, and yet reproved tor their carelefnefle to ^«rour. marry in the Lord. Many, not grofly propftane, yet bcciufe k* arria S Ci butcivill,trufting to their wit and policy alone, thinking rrconclycm^ themfelves fecure enough, although they goe not fo fpiritu- \ it ^ nn (ik. ' ally to worke, as to marry in the Lord, are to be taxed by this doctrine. So long as they can marry morally ,fuch as arc free from groffe crimes, uncleannefTe, riot, alehoufe-haun- ting, and the like : fuch as are of a iweet carriage, fafhio- nable, and corapleat, brought up well to a pleafin^ and out- wardly gracefull behaviour ; cfpecially, if there be any meanes to live competently in the world, good husbandry and houfewivery j oh, they thinks their choice is excellent ; yea, when children themfelvcs dagger for confeience fake, at inch ofters,yet their parents are earned for the match,and vexe themfelvcs to fee their children fo precife. And in- deed no wonder, when Morality (in thefe times) is counted 'precifeneflc. And yet, tell me,what oddes is there between thole Bcnjamites I fpakeof, and thofe children of God mar- Gcn -*« ** rying the daughters of men, the pofterity of Shetb with ido- laters ? what wofull impes proceeded from fuch a mixture ? And the truth is, even fuch as profeffe religion are growne to make fuch matches without any checke. The common queftion now, not onely among great ones, or among pro- phane ones, but even among the ordinary lorr, and fuch as profelTe religion,is,What {hall ihe have? What is ilie worth? \Vr>at joynturc can he make ? who will ihew us any good ? \\ \ ^% 4 As if men were felling of cattell in a marquet ? Not thus j What is the woman ? how brought up ? how qualified with knowledge, love of Gods Church, meekenefle, modefty, or other fruits of faith and the fpirit ? which yet are the onely ornaments of wealth and beauty, yea* more in price with God, then all they poflcfTc, who enqu/re fo little after them. But by that time, fome of thefe, by bad example, and fot want of the fear of God,grow to be bad cornpanions,others * ! \ unclcane. 14 MAtrimomall H$n0ur ; or, uncleanneffe, others fpendthrifts, and the like; then their parents (who fo. flammed religious ones before) can wifh they had matcht them with religious ones too. But its juft that they pierce themfelves through with cares, who feeke religion out of feafon, rather out of their own ends then for her ielfe. Hence it is, that fuch folemne marriages in the world, as begin with great hopes and honour : . yet within a few yeeres turne to mifery, beggery, imprifonmenr, defi- ance of each other to the pit of hell. Why ? Surely becaufe they/ought other things as chiere, money, aad beauty, and the like* but not religion ; juft it is with God to forfake them and leave them deftitute, not onely of that they fought not, but alio of that whkh they over-chiefly coveted. Not tofpeakeef thcfebafeand wicked (hifts, which fome of them are faint to come to, as flattery of their betterg,unclean relations, banquerupt-like waves, to borrow what they can, and leave men in the lurch. .Ill marriages are one caufe c{ banquerupts, though not the onely ; for many ftreams there are, that caule this banke to overflow fo exceflively now a dayes. So much of this. Branch ?. Thirdly, this is reprocfe,, and that of two forts : firft, fii :h 3U proof d as whereof neither party is. religious : fecondly, whereof ' i. onely either of the two is inch. Touching the former, we of fuch in fee a wofull patterne of Absbirxi lewbel, of whom neither Whuh f 1 bad was ^ ettcr ( th °ugh perhaps the one ieile ill) but confpircd part.c is . t0 g et h erj anc [ fa forward each other to mifchiefe. And in- i Kings xi »< ^ eec ^ ^° lt cornrnon ty fids otir^hat if both be bad,the Woman proves the won't. Its much what, in this fex e, as in the in- xi vcr 7 ^ r i° ur natures ofcreaturcs. the fhee-Bcare, Lyonefle or P * ' * Wolfe, is. the moil: lavage and fierce: fo here, the impoten- cy and unbiideledneffe of the fexe, makes her more iubjecl to rage, unrighteoufnelTe, revenge and wickedneffe then a man : not to fpeake of tlie naturail p erf \va five nefle of iuch, incenfing to evill forcibly, everfince Eve tempted Adam, i Kings 11.7, Uzjibd provoking Ahab to be farre worfe then himielfe, hy laying, Art thon now Kin? cf Jfrael ? and Ijefi thou Hfon thy bed as a feele ? Come, and I will give thee the vineyard of Na- both>&c< The corruption ©f beftis worit;and when flhe wh<* I by A TrCAtifc of Mdrrr^gt. 3 5 byher kinde,mould hive bin themoft modeif, be comes bold, ihe commonly kecpes no bounds of immodeUy. Two are better then one (faith Salomon) a nd woe to him that is alone : Evdef.4>. b*t here we may iadly invert the words, and fay, One were better then two; and woe'to thole couples who are both JuJ>. 1 i.jl. bad : better h,\d it bin for fuch to have lived in the in juu- tains^to bewailetheir virginity, yea/o dwell with the foxes and wilde beads, in extreame iolitarinelfe (where no other then mifery can be looked for) then to enter into an ho ped condition of welfare, to double and treble their own c for- rowes,fin and judgement ; making each other much more the children of Satan then before. Mit.ij.i j. And verily, it is the ufuall deftiny of the mod Families, to be peitred with liich couples, whereof neither is religious, but both rude and prophane, and ftudying who fhould excel! the other therein. If the one dare lye, the other dare f^veare to it ; if the one flahder, the other will avow it ; if one be bad, the other will be worfe. And this pleafeth him that brought them together, on life ; that by their vying and out- vying each other in evill, they fhould approve their thanke and fervice unto him : joyning to moral! ftnnes, the omit- ting or def)i(ing of Gods worfhip and Ordinances within doores or without, as Word* Sacrament, prayer and duties. Alas 1 put cafe that bad couples are not Combi. ed in open ungodlinefle and malice, but onely in a meere, civill,form .11 and fapleile religion, keeping of Sabbaths barrenly, or mutu- all complacence in eaeh other, for the raking up of money, making great portions for their children, ill brought up, d\\i like to ipend it as prodigally, and mocke them for their la- bour (as one lately did, who after his fathets death, having iouni out his hoord of mony,cryed out,Oh faithful drudge !) A villmow; and lo walte it out in bravery and fafhions, pride and pompe tp^ccU. of life. Or put cafe they live in a meere harmlcfnetle of courfe,fpending out their dayes in working, eating, dee- ping, neither doing good nor grorTe/evill, welcoming .ml viliting neighbours , lining curteoufiy ( wihch I confeilc is the belt of fuch) yet alas ! what a mileraMc life is this m companion of the rritCigtfnt and fwcet tit a 1 : \ 1 -*:— ■- 3 6 Mwimmall Honour : or, marriage religieufly carried? But yet the worft is be- lunde. Admonition For why f rarely doe we fee couples thus married t<* re* to&ch. pent tkemfelves of their courfc; butwanzc away like fha- dowes, except they dye like beads, without fenfe; and CYw«n as they have cntred bafely, and lived worfe, fo the laft aft of their life is worft, and they dye impenitent. Oh then 1 in Gods feare, let me fpeake unto you, and be admonidied ere it be too late, (ere either the one of you be fwept from the other, or both to definition,) to confideryourfinne at the firft, humbling your foule for it,and much more for the long thred of your former courfe, which you have fpent amiffe. And if neither of you will at ail proht. by either word or * workes of God, while you live together,buc goe on hardned in your mutuall wickedneffejyet when God lhalfeparate the one from the other, by death, crying out lamentably of his or her finfull courfe ; oh, let the lurvivour be yet gaftred out of his den, and with that third Gaptaine of fifty, cry oat to God, and fay, Although thou haft parted us Lord, and my companion be dead in finne, yet let my life (r pray thee) he * Kings i. 1 3. frecieus in thy fight : unfettle me from thofe lees upon which! ' am fetled,(for want of roling) that I may brealfe offmy long prophane, fruitlefle conversation, andfeeke thy face, and re- ?M»39.ij» cover my felfe, ere I depart andbefeeneno morel Oh 1 it were bctter(I grant) if the Lord were fo pleafed,that as both of you have bin partners in finne, and one corrupt fleCh ; io you rnigrtboth together rcpenr 9 and become onefpirit in the Lord, both of ye might be rouzed by his terrours out of your . deadfteepe; that the one being humbled, might gafter his fellow, and fay, husband, wife,(eefl thou not that Gods hand p out againft us, and his wrath is upon us ; we are under all - adverfity, our bodies, foules, children and affaires, nothing profpers : oh, we have made ufe a long time each of other, for the divels vantage, till our bones be full of the fin of our leb 20. 1 1. y OLlt h : except we rctu:;ne in time, God will be avenged on us, and fend us toourpl^ce and long home of mifery : Alas I we have never honoured marriage , as other holy couples have done ; its ftranse patience that yet we are on this / fiie — ' ■ ■ A Treat ife of Marriage. ^"7 fide hell : let us now joyne together, and turne to the Lord,that if pofliblcjall may be forgotten and forgiven. Oh ! happy you, if ever you (houldliveto (ce that fay I happy your poore children and family, whofe foules you ihould (hatch out of the fire , and be inftruments of pulling them out of that milery unto which you have bred them. Cut I forbearc. But there is a fourth fort of marriages, whereof cither par- Branch 4. ty onely is religious. Thefe alio are to be humbled for their Admonition ungrounded attempt, the one for ventring upen an irreliizi- ro ihc rt l l; -\~ ^ iru i_ l r i* • -r/ ou? rmrried to ouj yakefcllew; the ©ther tor irreligious entrance. Zachary c!)e j rre | lC j old and Elizabeth are commended,that they were both juft; ther- Bran.j. 6 jfbrcit is a ftaine to fuch marriages, as wherein either party is Luk. 1.6 good, the other oppofite to it. Examples whereof we have l^am. 18.17. in Scripture; David and Mkhal, N*b*l and Abigail , M]*^**' and his wife.The Lord who forbad to fowe one field with di- r> 9 J t z jf," r vers feedes, or to weare a garment of liniey- wolfey , much 1 Cor.*, 1 5 . mere abhorsthat the marriage-bed fliould be denied with per- fons of divers religions ; for we know no oppofition is (o ftrong,as that which is fpirituall ; and how then ihould there be amity and love, where the feeds of greateft enmity abide ? What a tempting of God is it, to draw the yoke of God with on, 4 that drawes in the yoke of the Divell? Oi (as Paul fpeaks in the like cafe) What fellow (hip is there betweene Chnft and Belial, the beleever ani the infidell ? what is inch an union, favea monfter compounded of divers natures, by an adulterous mixture ? What a noylome thing were it for a lively and healthy body to walke with a dead carcafle bound to ir, backe to backe ? How long could it continue ? h© w fhould it avoid putrifa&ion ? as appeareth by the manner of that punifhment, in fome cafes inflicted, among the Hea- thens ; as that image of Nebuchadnezzar, which had the bo- n dy made of mettals, and the feet or clay, could not abide long without diflolution ; fo neither can that temper which con- lifts of fuch contraries. And hitherto /ide thai (which one well obferveth,) that when good an/ bad joyne together, feldorne is the worle bettered by the good, but often the bet- ter s marred by the worfer party. Thv browne bread in the V 3 \ «\v!1 3 9 Mtiriwmttl Homnr • or, oveii wil be fore to- fleece fioni the white, not that ftdffi it; How can it at her wife be,in this fo neere a knot of marriage ? "fince its feldome feene , but its fo ki ail other fellowfttips ? when the one party is patient^devout, meeke, fober, a lover of the Word, confcionable in Sabbaths, and the ufe of meanes ; the other careleffe, froward, unchafte, intemperate and pro- phane ? what a corrafive muft the one needs be to the other ? and inftead of an helper, what a continuall dropping ? was P,-ov. 1 9 ' 1 5 ' it a favory thing (thitike we} to lob to heare his wife bid him jjbz.p.i^ Cnrfe God and dje I hiinfelfe being fo armed with pati- ence, as to f?y, Shall wee receive good things of God, and mt evil! ? When T>avid danced before the Lord, and in the height of zeaie brought home the Arke of God, was it a pleaiing thing z Sam.6. 23. to heare Micol to call him foole for his la6our ? and although they are not fo grofle as to fcoffe at their husbands or wives, yet what a crorfe is it,to have fuch lying in our bofomes as are "of a diverfe minde? what complamt isfo ufuall inthefe dayes as to heare the complaints of good husbands, of ill wives, and wives of husbands, through this defparity ? Some ma- king their moane for the churlihinefTe, ftraightnefTe, rnalici- oufheffe, reftraint from ufe of meanes ; others, for other eye- fores, of which fortunequall marriages are infinitely fruit- full ? So rare are thofe couples,of whom it may be faid,They Luk.i 6. draw mutually and equally in one yoke ; as Zachary and Eli- zabeth, both juft, diligent hearerr , zealous worshippers, lo- vers of God,of good men, and the like 1 And hence it is, that there is oftentimes little difference betweene thofe families in which both be bad, and thofe in which onely either party is good ; becaufe commonly thwr, C mmtnim their lulls doe agaiue iurpn/.e them : I j*y, by Inch lecond uf religion in motives many men (not being Nd6*Is&d bale blocked >c- :i : "''' ing perfwaded better oftfaeir-wives, then others an - ^vf*** ing their eltatcs to Ik the more prosperous, by their frugal! ombUn ) huule- 40 Mttrimomdll Hon&ur : or, houfewifely, and wife managing thereof; they grow more indifferent toward them, and efpecially their perfons and iweet innocent behaviours gracing them in their eyes. And by fuch meanes, many women unequally yoked, live at bet- ter tearmes then others doe. i Pa. 5. i. ^ Ut atxaS • ^ oW ^ ew °f ^ C ^ husbands are drawn e to God (as the Apoftle faith) by the conversation of the wives, or wives by fach husbands ? but put it orTwkh a tricke ; you fee (fay they) what our wives affed, they muft have their wils, we muft not crofle them, for then all were out of order ; let them alone and run their courfe, as poore filly women may doe : but as for us, who are wifer, and have greater affiires ^ to looke after; we muft play the good husbands at home,and i Cor l.Vs. ^old in mattcrs together. Well,take heed you wife fellows, Luk.10.42" left you be taken in your owne fnare, beware left God pull Scomers to be ye not downe from that pride and jollity, by which you look draftne by over religion, as a meane thing, under your worth and ejn- their w»res re- pi y men ' t . The wifedome of man is but fooliilinelTc with i,gion,tauky. God) an a when the glory ofthis world mall be abafed, and bid you farewell, then Gods matters will beare fome price, and Maries portion may hap to be wifhed. Oh therefore (as Paul faith) what knoweft thou, O man, whether God have appointed thy wife to occafion thy conversion ? Oh, its d«ath to many a bad man, to thinke, that a woman fhould bearcflroke or fway with him in the caufe. of God ? they will not yeeld lb farre, as to grace their wives with fuch a vidlory ? Its well,if her ornament prove not her greateft de- triment, and fhe have not much foure fauceto digefther fwcet meat. But as for following her fteps to heavens, oh 1 it were to© great honour to the wife? wel^you (hall with ynou hadefteemed it your owne greateft honour ! Meane time,the greater (hall her thank be with God, by how much her religion hath coft her the letting on : if me iuffer not her zeale and grace to quaile by any difcouragemems, till ihe fee better things at Jaft,after her long patience,to be wrought in her husband. OKJthou unequali husband ! art thou con^ tent to pocket up alt the commodities and contents of a good wife, and to take all which religion affords thee in thy wife, A TrcMtft of Marriage, 41 for thine ownc ends, never looking whence this milt fills ? wilt thou love the daughter thrift, modefty, fubjettion, fo- briety, teaching of thy children, and careft thou not for the mother, religion, which bred them all ? How bale is it to love the effect, and to difljke the cajife ? to defire that theft! good qualities were in a wife without religion, rather then, by them to behold the beauty thereof? Take heed, refill: not the light, ftop not your eyes from beholding that Sun whofe beaines you are fomuch beholding too. I conclude this fourth branch (being a very lmtcriall one) c :mn(Ul for with an admonitory caveat to fuchperfons, whofe wifdome j a an^c vil Voke will be (as I take it) to make a vertueof a neceffity, either Gen. 4 1.9. in drawing the backward party to a better pafTe, or them- felves to a more patient bearing of their burden . Firft there- , t R.p up t - n y fore, let fuch fay with Phtrsio's Butler, I remember my (inne Rate to God. this day, the fume ofralli entrance into marriage, my fenfu- »tRcdcem old ality and yceldingto mine appetite, without coniulring with "foo»,aoj v iod; Thefe and other iinnes of thy youth, open beforeGod, P ra >' or F aruon that he may cover them. Redeem j thy former neglect by pre- lent diligence, in humbling thy foule, and praying to God for pardon ; it is never out of ieaibn to doe fo, if the fruit be not as thoudeiireft, yet it fhall be fome fupply of thy want of good marriage,and an eafe of thy forrow. As for thy coir* panion, poure out thy foule to Cod for him, as Abraham for I/mael, Oh that be might live in thy light ! If confeience Gcn - I 7' lS » move thee not, yet let felf-loye doj ir, for thou art like to en- joy the good. And with fpirkuall rneanesjoync (arable pra- ctice, commend whatsoever is praiie-worthy in thy compa- nion (for the worit have tome good parts) that it may ap- pe ire, that thou art loth to bury good under the clod of evill, ^nd wouldll be glad to commend for iomewhat : for fo dod himfelfe do:h, 'DeMt.^.iZ. &c. infirmities parte by, and marke Deur.f 28. not (for who fpeakes of a fear, when the body is crooked?) j: Pillt ' groflet evils fo obfervfj as waiting thy feafon to reprove ina, 7" wIt, « Diem, and that with all m< fi , thou.ex- alperate inftead of men ling ; joyne efjfici ilLy a convincing and winning converfiti efpecially to ftrangers : and it requires great wifdome to do it to any, moft of all with ripping up alt grievances before witneffes : for hereby, as fecrets become reproaches, fo, that which might have bin healed, is quite made incurable, by over-deepe fearch and exafperatirig> Htb,n. ig. However the iftue prove, waxe not defperate, ftillhopc; Prov.18.10. fck c nam e of the Lord is a ftrong tower, the righteous fiee to it, andarepreferved. Thou art not alone in thy griefe, live by that faich wherby lob, Ab'igail> others lived & do live, and thou {halt fee what end the Lord {hall make ; kcepe ftill Pyov.io.ij. thy humility, care and diligence : Th« way of the Lord is ftreight to him that walketh uprightly, though there were 6. Juft.fienor ro other. Above all, beware of juftifying thy bafe heart,. tby owne er- un£ [ er colour of thy companions more apparant finfulncflc : rofs,by others p^ a y no: t ^ c hypoc"rite,as many doe,who promife great mat- ters, if free of the erode, who yet being fet at liberty, dif co- ver themfelves to be wanton, worldly and earn all : fomtime {tumbling at the fame ftone which before gave them a fall, and becomming w \rfc in good marriages then they were at the firft in bad. And thus much for this rirft Vfe, with the Cautions thereof. Vfe fe Thefcccnd Vfe k InftruAion : teaching us by compari- 1 fon (onto eftceme anci jud&Oj what is the tnoft excellent object I ^dion. for the married to behold in each other. And that mult needs ^L'Jjr b ^ be found religion; very heathens could fay fo of their vertue, m * tu & ^ N I hat iheis dclirablc for her {elf : how much more we of this t No other things are fo ; they have their deiirednetfe, yet for *• Refpcd. ) thit they are in order ferving to better ends, rather then foe •u^ht in themfclves. And as witdome it felfe ufually in Scripture is fpoken of in this kinde, that fnc is better then Rubies, the Topaze, the treafures of the Eaft, no gold J oh l8 - |S - is like her : fo is a good woman famuli: with thit grace, rat " yt * more precious then allpcarles. Even as alfo an husband is : birth* education, meanes and wealth, greatly conduce to i compleatnefle and contentment of marriage : but as for ma- king it happy and honourabie,they reach it not : oneiy reli- gion can doc that. They are as the fecond fort of worthies of c Ddvid y which attain'd not to the rirft. Many daughters have done well, but thou hail the birth-right, and fu-m^un- l Sa »-M.«#. teft them all. There is an honour of complement and there's an honour of lubftance : the former may (land in externils ; the latter onely in religion. Salomons words will expreffe ih<; point; That which is deiirabie in a man is his goodnetfe : Prov - !*.**• no man is praifed tor that which is out of him, but for that which is within him. Seco. dly, there is tta cornpai tfott be- *• &<%&•', twixt thegraces of the minde, with outward abilities ; for the one is of abiblu:e neceflity, the other nor. Jt being not abfolutely n ec elf. iry, that a man ihouid be w r ell bred or weal- thy : but its neccilary that he he religious : without the one he may live, and maintain* the honour of m image (chough in the other there is ufefuineill) but without the other he cannot. Laftly, in refpeCt of the abience of either : better j.RefptA want a pound of the one (if want mult be) then a dram of the other. Wealth and parts will not recoinpcnce the hcke of religion (for they are under it in their kinde : ) but ilie can iupply theirs with an hundred fold. The concluiion is,learn we to fettle our judgements iolidly upo« this truth; that fo our eye be not bleared with the ralfcJTnd erronious opini- ons of the world ; which (as in all other refpefts, fo) in this point, foriike the rule of God,for fume (ludowcs and emp- G z tine lie ; frro ,44 Matrimoniall Honour : or, linejfe ; and baying embraced them all their life time, feek-: ingin the creature,that which is not there to be had : (for as apparell cannot feed, nor meat cloath, nor anything ex-' ceed his owne fpheare ; fo neither cau beauty reach be-- yond that is in her, nor riches above that is in them:) they cry out at laft, taught by experience of fooles, we have: loft the body for the fhadow, embraced 'vanity and for-* Jonah z.3. faken mercy : c/#/ u vanity ! So it was at the firlt, but you faw it not. Vfcy % Thirdly, let this admonifh us, to ftiun all delufions and er- Ad monition roursin thiskinde, which might deftroy the honour of m.u>. agamlhonnc riage. Imagine not, that profit and pleafure can doe the U [!r Krein * workc of honouring marriage. An Heathen could fay,Theic are but by-refpecls in a lower contract of friendship : how much more. here? when fvveet and profit .are once worne oft as the nap from the fine cloth,nothing remaines behinde favje thred-barenelTe : as when the leaves are btawne off the rofe, nothing is left fave the prickle. Not: fo here -.for although i*he begin with fome fourenefle, yet (lie is durable Thcfccond. and ouiafting. Secondly, be not gulled with the rallaueffe of fech brainfcke ideots, as thinke marriage to bemagickej that loo ke what de c eeT lo ever there be in couples, yet mar-* ria^e will accommodate all fuddenly. Marry them (faith one) and all will doe well enough. Can marriage make all errours vanifh? Is any man io mad as to thinke, that becaufe he hath a great fuinme to pay, therefore he may convey twenty flips into it, and not be difcarded? fhall not each peece come to the w eights ? Surely that which in the feverail is naught , cannot doe well in the com- pound. Once (as our Engiilh ftory. mentions) there was m the Engiirh Court, a very fweet Lady B called hum* make-peace ; which no fooner perceived any little difference among the Nobles o: Courtiers, but fhe would accord them prefently. But this orfice is onely in religious marriage,>not marriage onely : nar, rather marriages illentred upon, are commonly fo farre \ L om fweet, accord, that rather after- ward they prove worfej for then doth the divell prefent more baits of liberty f to an unbrideled.. heart, then before. . The A Treat /fe of Marriage* ^ 5 The old fpeech is, Magiftracy mikes not the nun, but dif- covers whatmettellisin him. Be not deceived, God is not Gil. 6.7, mocked : as a manfowes, fo fnall he reape; of wheat, wheate ; of darn ell, darnell ; and he were mad who would lookefor other. Thirdly, neither let any thinke,that in un- ^.Era< eqiidll marriages, the religious husband (as the ftronger) may better adventure upon an irreligious wife, then a ehr:- ltian woman upon an husband of that itraine : for my parr, I have feene fmalloddes in the bargaine ; Salomons w'ords prove too true here, Vittorj is not a/waj/ to the ftr^nv ; its ill Efekf 9* l r * grapling by ftrong hand with an hcaditrong woman. She (hould be the weaker veflelL, but when (lie is perverted, flic proves the ftronger iuniifchiefe. The fum of all if, let none that feare God ventureupon thofe that doe not : and let all feeke for their parts, to be in the Lord, before mirriage. Above all, let lecond marriages beware of adventuring in this kinde, upon each other for advantage f ike ("an errour very rife, in this kinde) for enhanfing themfelvus for jol- lity, and a braver and fuller life, then formerly. they were content with : for it fals out commonly, that 6y one ap- pendant or other; as charge of children, perfidiouiru (Ti in the Valuing of their eibi.es, coftiinelfe of diet or ap- parell, or by fbme unexpected canker, wafting. the apple at the core, God cu:s their combe, ills their new hopes with new forrow, and makes them willi that they were but as they have bm,forfeiting all their felicity for naught. So much for this. Thelaft Vie is Exhortation, to excite and peffwadc all *fi 4> to marry in the Lord : an exhortation at alhimes necinary ; x lo lpecially neccflary m thefe gulling and cheating t | e ^ord ; n 5, that who fo fliQuld reject, th's counleJ, were worthy g.bratchcs, to give it him'elre too late, upon coitly experience. And • I leffe blame them, who are or good eitatc, fearing God, tor their buying good wives, by forfeking greater worldly contents : which commonlyjare joyned with grea- ter perill ( for great portions commonly goe with great llo- BUckSj highlniiity, coftly &(hiop, and great cxpences.J They therefore who can deny a little pompe,miy buy much G ;* peace, q6 M&trlmmitft H*n$nr : or, peace, and rcdeeme both their owne and their childrens fafety, with a little felfe-demall in outward refpel «, yortf,th flow of forrowunto thee ; what fhalt thou dee f God hath n 4fl . dealt righteoufly in it, becaufe thou contemner!: all helpes in thy youth, and therefore in thy trouble, fends the*, to ihj idoll beauty, money, will, laughing at tiiy mifery : how wilt thou then B ith thou hadft hue that former liberty i ranred thee,to marry in the Lord > Oh 1 how eagerly are things loved, out < ohn $ of their feafon ? Alas lihc fpirit bWwts where it lifts, time and tide mull not ftay upon thee ; t/ou hadft them, md vvoul- dcknotule the watchwords thereof wifely : whv fhould :hc 4 8 MttriwoviaU Honour t or, the fpirit any longer ftrive. with thee, but rather fufferthjr Gcn,6.*. jjaiies to ^ anc [ {till for ever .? If this then be. the time of gir- ding thy loynes with grace for time to come,gird them with that precious girdle of knowledge, fincerity, felfe-denyall, .faith, patience, and the like : learne to weare the yoke of Lim i fi ^ fr° m thy, youth, and it (hall not pinch t-hee in thine age. By this girding of thine owne ibuie, thou (halt be fit to ad- mit of Gods unpleafing girdles fortune to come, crofe (if "they come) (ball befalljhee in thine hmoccncy, fo as thou 'flialt know how to defray them, aiid the Lord (hall be atrli- Efay 63.9,10. fted with thee in thy afflictions, and teach thee how to parte thy marriage with comfort. But if this cotinfell will doe thee no good, but perhaps thou Jiaft learned to doe as the world doth, that is, to welter in. thy (orrowes,and to beare them oif with head and ihoulders, fo that thou canft goc .on through ^a fecond, or. a third marriage (if it io fall out) ^with as giacelefle an heart, as through the firfh Certain- ly, there remaincs nothing for thee, fave that thy end prove woffe then thy beginning, becaufe thy troubles brought MaMi4?' thee not upon thy knees for thy former finne, but ra- Efry 57.17. jher thou walkeft on dill in the frowardneffe of thine " "heart. The (ccond I proceed to a fecond duty, when thou intendeft a change- bran,hofr>c that is, be fure thou doe nothing rafhly, but ufe all poflible horuuon jn " wifdome, that as thou hafHouiht the Lord, fo he would and .trial- what f e }f^ renounce that carnall wifdome, preemption and will Gods miB e ^ faijc owne, which afcribes fo much to it felfe,as if it nee- c&nT! ded no advice : fubmit thy felfe to the Lord, doe not at firft Mar. 1 6.94, iufli thy felfe upon marriage by a .neceflity of nature , or by 1 TlKf.4,4* cuftome of the world, or becaufe yeeres requireit, or out of bale ends, to give way to thy luft : .but let it be thy care to prefeive thy veiTeli inJiolincfle arid honour: abftaine from all provocations to IjjfcqU?? much in prayer for a fanclificati- oa of every age and comli ion.ol life, perhaps ih^ Lord hath appointed tkee a fingleifc which may be much better for thee A Treat/ ft of MArrtagt. 49 f thee then marriage to honour God in j perhaps thou art not a meet man for marriage;but it would prove incommodious for thee : however, its thy duty to try what God hath for thee in (lore, .and many repent them for their ycelding to the firft pangs of unbrideled youth, ani wifh they had not given wavfofbonc to an impotent humour; nay, many who at the rirfl: intended no other fave marriage, yet by their more wary and temperate diet,company,and by fueduing their flefli by falling and prayer, meditation, and clofe attendance or Mat. 11.17. fludy, calling, or the ordinances of God) have obtained fuch a gift of chaftity, that they fee it is rather the way of God, they fh on) d not marry *. There are fome (faith our Savi- *A!lKceife our) who are Eunuches borne : marriage were a fnare to no::,1Jl ' iueri(notwithftanding their frothy concupifcenee) md fome have made themielves fe for the kingdome of heaven. Cha- Mac.ip 1 % % ffcity is a peculiar gift of God, all will giant ; and God will have it appeare in fome, that grace hath more ftrength then nature hath, as againfl lulls, (o above Lawfull liberties : and he who advifeth continence to fome, in times of danger, ef- l Cor - 7* 8 » pecially in which marriage might prove a clog^e; ani other- wife alio for a more clofe cleaving to God, without marri- age diftraclions ; there is no doubt, but he hath grace fiita- ble to frame fome men and women , for this very pur nofe. 1 Cor. 5.^' And fure it is, where fuch a gift is, God is highly honoured c )Pt j nenc y With the pure and undivided ipirit of- fuch asferve him in that be ng n gift condi.ion. Therefore ail due meanes mult he Life d for the of G d.mnft, attaining of it, till the aundedf God be knowne in this 1)c fo«gto tt!r - kinde ; and no man ought to foreftall providence in that re- l G^T-JS- (peel : weigh well thy ftrength or thy weakneile in the ba- lance, lay before thee the burdens and fervice of marriage ; thy bodily or fpirituall abilities or imperfections, play not the par; of a foole, to lay after marriage, I never thought it fuch a (late, I fee now 1 am not meet for it : that fhould have bin thought of before : informe thy feife duly of the conve- niences and inconveniences of each condition,the (ingle and the married ^ and when all is done, if Grp.{ incline thee to a private (late, referve thy illfe to it ; Li\v not to thee,vowe n 3 for who knowes but thy mnde ane/ho ly may alfci ., an J ^ V0WCJ of require a change ? but Co long as by yw abftinence from all f h] gi c ; provocations, and watchfull eye over thy felfej thou canft raced. II kee] 5° Matrimonial Honour : or, keepc thy felfe chafte 5 and prove it by the contentation of thy fpirit, without noyfomenefie, and negled: of the duties of thy place : thou maift gather the will of God by the figne, and io thou art to yeeld thy iel ( e to a fingle life; wherein although there cannot but fallout iome petty difcommodities (in lorne kinde) yet they ought to be digefted meekely, for the avoy- ding of worfe, and the attaining of the benefit of a fingle eftate. For when God is in a condition, that fh a 11 be tole- rable to one,, which would beburdenfome to another ] and there is no (late wholly free from trouble in this world, one-- ly that is to be embraced (as neere as we can) which is free from the moft. And having once underftood the way of Go d , goe not out of it wilfully, nor dally not with him, in fuch weighty pur pofts : ifitpleafehim to alter thy minde, thou fhaltunderftandithy fignes eafily, .and maift without finne, follow him,fo thy finne be not acceflary . So much for the ffift couniell, which I defire may be conceived of difcreetly,and not miftaken. Thenfecondly, if notwithftanding this triali,thou ftult finde, that God hath alotted marriage to thee, know, its a " lawfull condition of life, .bcrefolveg it is fo, be not fnared usheart. ^vith feare, melancholy, or any diftempef; although it be joyncd with many troubles, yet they fhall be the fefler when God tels thee, its beft, and thy gaine fiiall be above thy ioflj ; caft thy felfeupon the ordinance in fuch a cafe, to make it fweet. And therefore prepare thyfelfe for it, deny thine owne rebellion, pride 5 paflions, will andluft: know that marriage is no ftate (as many thinke) of licencioufnerTe, to liye at eafe, and as a man lift. They who are of that minde, neede no other plague then their owne err our to vexe them, when they meet with the contrary. No, no, this eftate is not for an untamed heifer : as foon m ivft thou force an Vni- Jobjp.p.xo. corneto plow with thy Oxen, as thy rudefpirit to draw in the yoke of marriage. Learne therefore felr-deniall betiiru s (its as efl'entiall for ^.married life as for a fingle) humility and wifdome, and hovvihardly this hard Theme will be hand- led , till the heart be ^ibdued and meekened before. For ail unbroken ones aret tike to finde ibrrow in the flelh, double The fecond. Sound judge - mcnt 5 aiid fub duing of a re A Treat i fe of Man/age* 5 1 double and treble. If- it be fb in the greene tree, how much 1 Cor.7 more in the dry \ If it be unavoydable to the belt, how much more to them who feeke it? So much for the fe- Luke 15.11. ootid, Thirdly, be warned againft the common difeafe both of D117 ;. errour and practice, which hath overflowed the worl J, and Errorofthe (b bleared the eyesof men, that they Can fee nothing, five ; f IBIS *y bc **>' the outrides of things. Surfer not beauty, breeding, portion, 10rrc " pcrfonage, education, with complementall behaviour, faftii- onablenefle, aud the like, fo to bribe thy judgement,and fore- ftall thine affections, that religion fhould cometoo late, and bcthruit out from confutation. Beware of covetoiifnefVe, pride of life and jollity, ambitious and afpiring thoughts, to count none meet tor thee, favefuchas are tranlcendent. The world is now a dayes become a great (hare ; each yong one, fcarce out of the fhell, tickles himfelfe with the propo- f all of great hopes to himfelfe, and telling him, His fortunes ire great, and he may marry in fe and fo high a degree, and what is Jo high but his hopes may equall ? And thus, not looking at his bale beginnings, and unlikelihoods of any thing, but-purfing up himfelfe with offers, with conceit of his owne worth, he growes to thinke the world too narrow to crmie in. And never, I thinke, was tr e fpirit of the male- fexio van., as in this age, wherein the multitude of the fe- male fexc, and the contempt thereof, hath brought it to paffe, thattvciv boy ruw out of his prentifbip, values himfelfe by the icores ^ind hundrerhs, although fcarce worth a groat fides his occupation. And the rfioft men deeme none, be they never fo religious (which in our Fathers dayes would have bin counted rich matches)fair or good enough for him, except beauty and wealth in an higher degree then common make them lo. Iniomuch, that except parents oVerftraint and halfe exhault. themlelvcs to dowre their daughters, be they other \v if never fo well brought up and deferving, they lye by as no '^ody. J But what ? will iome fay, Doe you enyie our lot to be bet- &**&• tcr now, then informer times ? or is ii/mlawfull to marry to wealthy ones, and our betters ? 1 aiu\ver. If God lay out A*fw. H 2 a not- 5 1 Matrimomtll Honour : or, a portion for you, (without your politicke ambitious feek- ing) and fuch an one, as whofe portion in grace equals her eftate, yea fuch as in judgement defire you for your religi- on, although you are inferiour otherwise, I deny not, but (friends contenting) it islawfull; God hath brought fuch a vantage to your hands. But what is this to mens covetous* and proud defires ? As one once.faid of his fecond match, I will now have a gallant, whatsoever it coft me ; and fo he had fuch a one as he fancied. But by that time he had win- tred and fummered her a while, his bladder was fo prickt r that he fadly wifht he had one of his former wives fife and fafhion, as plaine as he then thought her to be. I conclude _ thus, over weene not your felves (when there is little w r orth in you) to equallthe meaneft women, or husbands ; but mo- derate ycur lpirits, and marry in the Lord. Nothing hinders tut the Lord and outward meanes may concurre (as thccale may (land) and then the quedion is ended. But if it be fo,that a match of 500. pounds be orfred with the Lord, and another of feven or eight hundreth without him, or at leaft, without any apparent Lopes ©f him, what then fliallbe done ? I an- fwer, other conditions being concurrent in any tolerable proportion, defpile the:. greater ofter, and take the lcifer, counting the miiYe of thy gaine happy, and the gaine of her grace with that lolfe, more happy. Buy thy wife in. fuch a Grace muft be call, .if tlicu be wife, and let it appeare, that Gods cricks prefcr'd to are n0 t y es with thee, if her price be above pearles,I trow, wc ,1th, ta thou who wilt not part with a little gold or fiver for it, art marriage. ^y ^^j^ £ jr thy betraying her for a little pelfe,to betray thy felfe toforrow ; and to have bag and baggage and all. Tell me, in what marquet couldeft thou tramque fo well, as l: to game a pearle for a little fiver? doubtleffc, thy fiver would not recomperce thy lofle, if thou thouldeft chufe it, with a faireitiTe bargaine. Tne times have bin, .wherein the man was to bring a dowry to the woman (though I think i : Sa wi{. 18. they held not lonr) 1 am fure Chrifts marriage is luch to his beloved : ) thinke>-hy fclfe to be the man, and aske thy fclfe, if not what thou wcr^ideft give, yet what thou wouldeft for- go, for a good companion ? I thinke the dayes were never fo A Treat ife of Marriige. 5 2 f# rare for marriages in this kinJe, as now : and yet the for- Good mam- row full fruit of the contrary, mould bring this chovce into 'S c * mui * fc c . date againe. Its a cuftome (we know)for men ami itious to Dou t ht *. buy honour, rather then want it, yea, glad they are, \{ rh< y can (0 come by it. Do you (o- Marriage is honourable : I it whatfbever it c©H: you, and be glad you can get it fo. i bad cuftoiiKsbe no prdenptions, and fet a good oneagainft a bad. Fourthly, let the Lord be much folicited by prayer both Thefourtk; ordinary and extraordinary for this blefiing : beg hard forf n yl«*dfoc it, rather then want. I laid before, pay for it, and now I 5 °dn»arri- adde, pray for it, pay and pray too, and thinke it worth it. tow'vao Let the Lord fee that yourfoule is deepel; in love wick it, and will no: be denied, feeke to honour him for ever for it, and count it not every mans cafe; and you Hull fee\vhat an- fwer he will make you. If prayer will not get it, try if im- portunity will prevaile : come for a wife as fhe Mat. 15. Vat.ij.-.s. came for her daughter* and refufe any nay, this is the way to get it: God will grant, it, theey nyt^r-t hen pe Weaiici : ^*^"?5SJs (and yet he loves it,) ;With* importunity. ' Either God will ; •'-J***** h< are you, or e^e-^v - you a reafo'iv which.fiull fat-isrie von \ r£ which I adde, b£c?tu£j^^ good" marri- age were not go()dlt)^V^i^t'[fat feeke it ; it would pufre them up and hurt them-;* they rather need exercifing marri- age?. But this know, God will not$art with his jewels Co easily, as not to be fought to for them : this bleffing is like to that, £W<. 16. which the Lord fo promiied to give his ^co- u , 1 * , pie, as yet he would be lough: too by them tor r. Lom nic thy way to Iehova, and he (h ilUfFecT: it. If thy \% ife be to PC 1. ; 7 .f. thee as Samuel was a fonne to Hantmb^i wif but c Yen an encreafi 1 1 I ■■ . < . .« ' 5^. MMrimonidli Hemttr : of, thy Judgement. It is faid Abraham called Eliezer his fer- vant, in this weighty bufineffe of chafing a wife for his (on //Qvtfjbidding him to put his hand under his thigh : (a folemn adjuration) for a llura nee, that he would not chufe him an heathenifh wife, but one of Tcrafo family (the beft which then could be had,though not as it ought) beyond the river : how much more oughteft thou to put thy hand under the Lords, in this cafe or thine owne marriage, vowing, that if he will provide a Rebecca for thee,and make thy voyage pro- 1 perous, thou wilt difcerne as reall a providence as Elieztr fa w in meeting of her at the well. Is there never a wife for JuJg. 1.4.3. the? ff a *3 the parents of Sampfan) but thou muft needs goe among; the uncircumcifed ? Vow it, that if God wiH be- truft thee with one that is religious, though another fhould belaid againft her, yet thy load-ftone wculd draw the former. E^; ; y *• l lifcly, adde hereto the advice of the moft judicious and Advue of the y^p^^J^ f rie nds, that thou canft come by : for though two molt judicious r c ^11 -n 1 -r • i_- / fc n and impaction e 7 es are to ° ^ ew ' . vet ne tnat W1 ^ a dviie in this cafe, mutt friends requi- onely judge with one, that is, a (ingle eye, and looke but fite for goo j one way. Such is the fubtilty of futours now a dayes, that main age. though their merit be never fo fmall, yet they will fo goe to worke,that their credit fhall be good ; forestalling the truth by their intereft, either in a good Miniifer, or man of note : if they be butmorall, tney will engage them by gifts : if re* ligious, by feemin^ devotion, to thinke well of them. Its a fad thing to thinke, what bad matches have bin made by the mediation of the bt-ft men • being flrft deluded. Alas ! how eafie is it, to make charity and credulity to be on mens (ides? the bed have bin deceived about this bufinefle. But the third perfon (who neither foweth nor moweth by the bargaine) is fi tter to judge of this game, then parties are. And be allu- red that true intelligence is not eafiiy come by, in thefe to- terblend : ngdayes : yet, as I have faid, thou haft a promife, T . that God will hide no ferret from thee, if thou be his friend ; Jo 14- 4) 1 5- £ ot j lat t j lou gj ^ no t pervert thine owne way, and (tumble at the offence which thoit]ay ell before thy felfe :to thinke 1 Sam. \6.6. with erring Samuel, that tly. annointed of the Lord is before him, A Trcatifc of Mmrhge. 5 5 hiin, when its no fuch thing, but thy earn ill conceit : we cafily beieevethat to be, which we would have tobe. The judgement of the Church, either is infallible in this kinde, or die its fcfer erring with it , then hitting well with Great is the cofenage of diflembling parties, when il\. themielvcs to fale , by religious femblance. Machiaveis 1 imeisallin all, viz,, foundries of religion is difficult to be had, and quits not the colt in the wor! Is 1 are eafie, and will fetve the turns even as well Hence it is, that few walla* humbly and plainly, moft are content y/uh fhewes. As that Scholler of Cambridge fa id, if I may get my degree, I have that 1 came for; let learning goe where it will: fothcfc, I am now upon fale hill, ilT be oncefold, I have enough. And I fhould offend many honccft hearts, if I fhould diicovcr what I know touching the humours of, fome malecontentsin this kinde, efpecially of the female iexe,balely pretending that their conference is tlie ground, whereas its but a italking-horfe, ferving to feme themlelves into fome good opinion for marriage : whereas, their turnes not being ierve d, but their ends croifed, they have bewray- ed themlelves in their colours, to be but counterfeit. \ fpirit for the nonce, is needfull in this diicerning virorke'j therefore let inquifition be narrow arid wife, among them that are neither neerell. the blood, nor to the advantage, by inch a match. Sixtly, be very obfervative and carefull in ] uallDjiyf. beleeves every thing, but the wife ponder fayings. So doe, mirry in ctic you. And as I (aid ef the help e of other mens eyes an I wits : L,,r ^ Eftablifh thy thoughts by counieli, for ihtne multitude ol counccHoirs there is peace: fo I fay to your 1 Ives, trull ? rov - , J* 11 « not io to others, as to put and dafh o.it yJ?u'r OW ne eyes and ^ \\*$. es qfade, and aske it o[' \ I 1 ■ ■ na man, ty ki lerftanding : braines ; bnt Coilfult with Wifdomes ( him who gives and upbrakta • ot. butthe in! »irati >h of the Almighty as r is judged of none : fo here ; onely adie this/They who havfc bin very wife in and for others, yet in their owne cafe, and this of affection efpeciaily, have failed much ; and the pro* verte is verified here. Once, all men have doted. Put difre* rence. therefore bet wecnefmooth words and neat paflages of wit, or conceits that come onely from the braine-,and De- tweene found grounds planted in the heart. Out of the abun- dance of the heart the mouth wii^fpeake, to a wife hearer. Its hard for a barren heart to diffemble fiuitfulnefle, or for a well-feafonedtofeeme unflvory. Queftion each with other, not concerning perfons, but things : hot about preachers or Sermons, or duties of religi©n 9 or circumftunces onely of a- buf.s and corruptions of time : ( for/who is not up to the eares in this now adayes ? ) but concerning the real! worke of the Word by name, how the Law hath quelled a proud heart,and ftopt the courfe thereof in evill : how it is brought fo low and tofuch a tamenefle, as to crouch to. God for the crnms that fail from his table ; to be low in her felfe, and lay Zxod.ii.6. a(ide all her ornaments, glad to be equall to them of low de- gree, and the like. Looke not at the gi r ts of each other, but Roai.11,16. try whether a meane opinion of our ielves encreafeth* as knowledge encreafeth : aske each other, what the nature of a promife is, wherein the nature and life of faith confifts. Ads 15.15. Alio, how faith purifies the hearty kils the flrongeft lufts and palTions , quickens the heart by a principle to all holineife,. meeknefle, patience, mercy to the diftrefled, and ferrow for the finnes of others. If thefe feeds be planted in thefpirit, they willfubdue it unto God ; yea, they willfet a new frame prov.17.24. within, and make the countenance to {nine. And whereas Objett. i^s objected, few can fo fully fatisfie themfelves in the de- Anjw. §ree s of each others grace. I anfwer : try the fub(tance,and let degrees appeare in time, its well if grace in youth can cieepe, though it cannot goe (though the forwarder it is the^ better) if in the vvatft of great meafure,, yet the layout of thefe things breake fVth out of the cloud ; and where bafli- fulnelfe anion to be meanly thought of. And to end, remember thaf this bufineffe bordtrs much upon the outward man j beware therefore that neither outward defects doe weaken,nor their abilities doe forftall thy judgement either way, from the due weighing of the beft things in the ballance, to or fro. Slight defeds will (oone he fupplied by religion, where love is entire , but want of religion is not eafily recompenced with externals : be wife not to (tumble too much at the former ; neither let heat of affection (hare and coulen thee in the latter. So much for the meancs to be ufed for marrying in the Lord. And to this iffue pertaines all this difcourfe : therefore ft ill Ooncltifion of I fo conclude, as I began. And. becaufe no bad marriage be- thsfecond fals any, where the husbands finne is not chicfe, either be- duty, caufc himielfe rs bad,or erreth in judging the wife :(the wo- man having one ly a rehiring voyc«, not a chufing, but the Tkc man hath man having the prerogative of choice, as the leader of the che lading bufinefle : ) therefore let the man cfpccially looke to him- { ™ c ;^" c " fclfe. Its not for the modefty of the womans lexe, to play b- war y. *' the fuitour, to put forth her fclfc towards the man, but to Women wo- wait till God offer her an object of consideration : and I fel- crs threaten dome hare noted matches very fuccesfuli in this kinde. I re- WOCi member the anfwer of a wife man to a Gentle woman,which told him,fhc could love him before any man : he anfwered her,but of al othcrs,I dare not venture upon you rBrmy wife , He confidereJ, that fuch pangs in that humorous (ex cannot come from judgement, becauie they thwart an ordinance : and as a fudden torrent of paflion or hc^t caufeth them, fo they fuddenly fall as faft, and leave the cnannell dry : when the humour is over, then coole bloedffucceeds, and checks the party for raihncflc, workcsadiiliktof the choice, n\d x very indifferent fpirit to the husband; thinking him to be I too 5 S hUtrtmonUll Honour : or, to© mean e for them; and f© little joying in him, waxing darke, and farre from that fweet temper of amity and fubj«- ftion which a wife fhould bewray. Therefore ye husbands be not gulled with eafie matches; they are not fo eafie to for- goe as to get : the furtheft way about, is the peered way home. There is a pleafingneffe in {hew, to be fancied by a woman, to 6e offred that eftate which I could never have Touching expected : but when all is faid that can be, it is too eafie to manymg m prove happy : what it may prove I cannot fay, but fince its the Lord : no t of God, and is againft the modefty of that fex, I can fee thr r C ^jg ( f lons no great hope of it. This by the way. I end my counfell j D Qu laion W*b a two- fold queftion. One is this : if (fay fome) we ftay anfwerc4 till thcfe choice marriages be offred us, we may wrong our hopes, palling the time of our virginity and youth vainly a- way. To whom I fay (I fpeake to none in this kinde fave to the religious ; let the reft move in their own e fpheare : ) TCA.$7 ). commit thy way to Iehovah,and he will effect it: where there is truth of grace, it cannot lye hid ; fome way or other the Lord (hall provide, and the labour of thy love fhall not be concealed : feare not the worlds feares„ cry not a confede- i Pec.g.iT. racy, where they cry it; but wait, and there will alway be fome men, who will be as jealous as women, to plunge themfelves into, a croife marriage, as glad of thee as thou of him : its a reciprocal! cafe , and hee who beleeves , makes no more hafte then good fpeed. Thy worth; (hall PCal.37.6. breake out as the light, and thy patience and modefty as the noone day. t fl . Another is, whether fliould we goe to finde out fuch? for ahtwfred° n we fee the families of fuch as had** a name of religion, are now degenerate, and empty of fuch choice. None doe more degenerate to pride,vanity andprophanenelTe,thenthc chil- dren of many Minifters and profeffours, which have bin re- ligious ; yea, many townes anciently of note for fuch,yet are now become as bajren as any other. To whom I anfwer : when the people came and told Samuel t that his children 1 Sim. 8. 5. walked not in his vtaiyes, it was not fo much from any ©f- fence at their finne, 3' for their owne ends, to make them a King : many upbraid good families, becaufe they are wil- ling A Trcattfe of Marriage. 59 lingtobalkethem, and to looke otherwhere, Sure I am, that families are not fj wanting of good matches, as the good matches who are in them are disregarded. But far- ther, be it true, Gods rules are Weighted in all places now 1 dayes, and religion was never thicker lowne, nor coxae up thinner then now : what wonder, li finne cany this duty downe the lireame of contempt, as well as others ? yet 1 fay* is Religion gone quite out of all families ? Though it be en- tailed to no one, yet cannot free grace phut it ieire where it lifteth ? if it leave one, can it not chafe another ? religion (for ought I fee) may lye long enough,exCept exceile of por- tion fmell her out. Oh I follow not the ttreame, OOftfonm not to the failiien of this world : God is tyed to no places, families, congregations, he is no accepter of peribiis; but in all places where his name is feared and called upon, there will he bleiYe. Such fhall not need todiftiuft Cod : hee mikes none a fonne of cAbraham u but he makes a d mg&ter ^a. 10 ; 4 of Abraham alfomeet for him; ufc meanes to iinde them putj and having io done, preferre petules before pibbles, and the Lord fliall bring the good to the good, for he is a God of ( Cor 14, » a order, not of confufion. But will fome fay, perhaps we have found out a jewel!, Qjel bur its in a dunghill' : a good husband or wife, but the pa- rents bad, the kindred bad, and no encouragement to pro- ceed. I atrfwer : as a bad wife is never the bctte nie graced with a good : fo neither ought a choice ek. or husband be too inuchtullied fry a ba \ f:m '•;•_: irt rhei/iil lotto be foi but that grace that mid.' Ln eminent! \b excellently rig -.,'.. more 1 lite th.it blemi gion of fome le among them. I blame no man, il >dwife he would be glad to marry to a good family and ftockc *. but in another reV>ecT, I would account that grace which is unftained wi- ane in the midft of it, m< proved and tried with the tolfthftou * which ther with the g«ace of a fai . Its fome grace to a Lilly tcSgrow among and a Hole looks the more 1 11 a.voi-g thiftle* c I 2 acs 6o Matrimonii II Honw : or, ries fet one againft another, are the more orient. I (hould not rcfufe a truly vertaous companion for this caufe. And this be faid of the fecond maiae rule, forfuchas are upon en- trance of marriage. I goe to the third.. The third du- The t h lv d fade concernes the two parties , after their h ^llnelh* €°* tra ft» ***? tofpendthat fpace betweene it and marriage contraft and ( as a morc ^ UjC an ^ f°k*nn feafon)for a preparation of them- the marriage, felves to the cftate and converfatiorr of marriage to come, necc fiary. But becaufe I forefee that the Reader will expeel: that fome* what be faid in this Treatife,, touching a Contract :-. I will therefore fufpend this third advice till I come to that argu- ment in the fift chapter,,at the end thereof. Thus much for this Chapter* Chap. III. The fecondrequifite unto Ag$$d entrance, viz. dptnefe or futdbteneffe. The fecond NOW thenlcometothcfecoadgencrall thing, perti- nent to good entrance, and that is, to marry aptly in the trance^'iMo " L° rcl i tnat * $ > to j*yne ail circumftanccs of equality and fu , mairy aptly, tableneffe to religion. And in this (as I conceive) as well as Gtn 4 i.i8. the former, conlifts the entry upon an happy and honoura- ble marriage. It is not for nothing,that the Lord brought J* dam a meet helper for him ; that is, not onely one created in the fame image of holincfle as ke ; but made of himfelfe,flefla of his flefh, and bone of his bone : woman of man, cquall to him in dignity ; not of his head, nor his feet or lower parts, but of his fides and ribs,in token of one that was to fide witk him, and agree with him in the married eftate. The Apo- ftle ufeth a phraie about husband and wife, the which is i Cor.7.3 $- tranflated thus QRr that which is comely ; ] the originall word >s anequallfiding, or fitting dole to the vide, withcomeli- nefle : io ftiouldit be with the married : there fhould be fuch an aptnefle in the chfice (fofarre as maybe) that the one might A Treat i ft of MdrrtA^e. 6 \ might feemc to dc a true * follow in the yoke, well met (as * )''£•*•'■*■ wc fay) and flit able each to other. Hence marriage is called a Watch, to fignihe, 'that couples fhould be peerej, and like each other, true matches. Otherwile, a manifeft difpropor- tioncaufes not onely a fuifemenefle, in the judgement of o- thers, but to the affections of each other. And this the Lord woald have us take notice of, as forefecing the inevitable in- conveniences., which muft needs follow upon miimatched couples. Cattle of uneven cize and ftature,{}rength and pro- portion draw very ill in one yoke, and untowardly. This 1 adde, left any {hould miftake my former lpeech, viz. That religion is the true levell of all other inequalities. I meant tki$, thttif.it be the lot of any to enter marriage unequally, then there being religion to moderate, it will make a better levell then any other thing can, when religion is abfent. I did not juftiflc unequality but accommodate it, when it is. Here I adde moreover, that when other conditions and re- fpc filftifle themfelves by this, that they will maintaine their huf- bands, and that (hall make up the flaw, and levels that val- ley. Deformed ones marrying faire or perfonable, alledge, they are penny wkite : .and kitching-maids marrying Gen- tlemen, may fay, They are good nurfes, and deny themfelves j n r w , as much another way. To all which I anfwer and atfirme, that none provide for the honour of marriage,fave thofe who provide againft the ftaine and dishonour of unapt marriage. And yet I mud adde, that when I urge aptnefie, I urge it not in lb arithmetical! and (tricf. a proportion, and in erery point of aptneife, as if elfe it might be no marriage. There is a diiTimilituc!e in the lame kinde, which is no difproponion in a divers kinde : and there is a difcord of tones in the mod exacl muficke, making it mod pleafing,becaufe ftill its. with- in the kjnde. I judge not oneunequall to another in birth, becaufe the fafhion of the one is a little lower ; but by dif- proportion ofde^ree, when gentle marry bale ; noble, hono- rable, wo, (hiptuli marry ignoble, and nixier themfelves in the whole kinde. Elh , as the roundneffe of the eath rccom- per.ceth this or that particular unevenneffe ; fo may tnajri- agelevell petty - uneqiulities. And to this, that inequality doth ncrahvay -follow fome contrarieties of temper, ex- cept they be inch as inferre a naturall dHtaile of each other : Ewptioi % a- as for example, nothing hinder s why there may not be fvveet i.jinU iti- .ujc accord betweenea very provident wife matcht with an un- ci l^' ' II provident husband, when the husband counts that gift a flip- 9j-tncflV,roany piy of his deftc> ;becauie its onely a defect in accident or quality, not reaii. Difference alio in eftates, may caufe a kinde'of neceiTity or* |di (proportion. It fals out that fome ■ -L-rackeof biCinekiVens the repute of a C-entlc- man well .U. iconded .; tps diiabieth his hopes of any great marriage Shall one dcf&t inferre a .worie^ a deprivall of i marriage A Treat/fe of Marriage. 6 ? marriage wholly ? no verily, a woman muchinferionrto/um in birth and meanes, or yeercs, fhould yet be thought a I good, yea apt match tor inch an one, and that with reputati- on and honour to her humility, if ilic be faithfull. A gain e, a man hath by a former venture, a great charge of children, which are like to lye upon the hand of a fee on i wife, both for education and attendance ; in fuch a cale, a woman of an hunired or two hundred pounds worth, who is willing to requite that defect with love and painfulnelTe (being oth wile competent for her hone ft parentage and filh life,) may be as equal! a match, as perhaps one of a thouland poand eitate, without that encumbrance. Againe, in the judgement of men, defect of honour may fometimes be re- compenced with wealth and eftate : as if a man nobly de- fended, yet growne to meane eftate, hath need of inch a fupply, though perhaps he faile of fome degree of the other : I fay, if both concur, its beft ; but if the defect do^ lye in ho- nor, it may be equalled with eitate ; and it were a (name f<>r honour to quarrell with fuch a wife for uneqiulne'le-for then may ihe lay, {"he hath bought her honour at a lad rate,and up- on dearetearmes. Betides, it fals our, that two marry, the one a man whom « j )rf cv , prefent honour and favour with his Prince hath advanced o s. beyond therankc of his family; or perhaps, honour hath gone along with lwifter pace to xard him, then with feme other he ale, who yet may be as honourabV in times paft,ani more ancient, then they are prefemty, though not with iuch titles: if now the one match with the other, rhall picicnt honour conteft with fuch an one as ihferiour? No la:e, if root be as good, the march is not iv.-x quail. Laitly, in f perfecution for religion, or of going voyages < zard, I \ lea to forreigne plantations : in vyhk I ftricl equality is not to be mentioned : now in inch, c Ban t eing to (Bye or transplant, needs tije aid of a wife h- id, or the man thehelpe of a difcreet woman : they can :h themfelves in their due rany i(e they ght ; therefore looking at the ma ; tis, ai r< I integrity of report, t ; Itch u ncerc tht u 1 dition 64 MAtrimonittl Hmattr : or, dition as may be : although it prove very much inferiour,yet it is not to be counted a difhonourable marriage. Mailer Fox in the ftory of Queene Maries perfecution, reports of a worthy religious Dutcheffe of Norfolk which married xo a godly Gentleman, one Matter Berry, (farre under a Dukes Rate) with whom (he fled the Land, and in that moft weari- fome flight (as it proved) found him a moft faithfull and loyall husband to the death. So then, if there be a generall proportion of aptneffe, f© that the difparity lye onely in a degree, not in kinde, it muft not be cenfured : all cannot lye under the i£quator,under the fame line andlatitudejfomc may admit many degrees off. The truth is, in this conrufion of all things, its not to be expeclcd that marriage feould keepc quarter with exa&neffe more then other occurrents of life : in fome cafes, we muft abate and yeeld of rigour, left we fplit all: Men are growne to enhanfc their degree to an higher pitch then formerly ; and it will be hard to convince higiiftomacks, ofmeanes or uncqualneffe ; thtir ambition hath too high a pitch. Thofe perfons are fitter to obferve this rule, who are meane in their owne eyes, and equall them* felves to thofe of lower degree. To leave them therefore with their great hearts and hopes, let me yet yokt them with Phil. 4 8 f PauIs couufcll, Whatfoever is pure, honeft, juft, of good re- port, that enfue ; abhorre that which is bafe, uncomely, and abfurd. But if it appeare to the judicious, that your car- nail, covetous reaches and afpiring fpirits have exerci- PuI.ijm. fed thcwafelves in things too high, for ambition, ftate or worldly ends; let the iffue be what it may (as common- ly it is repenting) I pronounce fuch matches to fall under this fecond rules ccHfure; they are unapt, therefore di- fhonourable. ffffi, I come to the Vfes of the point. If the honour of marri- luitrud on. a ges ftand partly in aptneffe of it, then hence it appcarcs, Nocun< fi y that its no ciiriolitj&for any to regard aptneffe : Men count toaur y aptly. t ^ s direction to be frivolous ; imagining that marriage hath a gift of it felfe, eithtlfo flnde equals, or to make fuch (as the old proverbe fpeakes of friends :) and to wafti off at once all eye-fores ; nay, it will be hard for fuch to fray away for- AJrcAtifcof Mam gc. 6) forrow, and lb dull you fay whew you hue ; would have thought Pharaoh might eafily have k< pt out Ex , e, let but my turne be fatisfied,and feare weem l not me; if I have once pncht my attecTion,! am not fo loon n BQ pt £ Um un! you judge your fjves by your pre- ru-e. ' nt pangs, which over-beare inferiourdiflikes ; but who weaker to digeft inequality, than fuch as thinke them- felves wifeft andllrongeft ? Many have faid as you lav, If I may have ftate fufficient , no badily blemifh ftiail trouble! me. Another, If I can get a religious wife, on^ hundred pounds will content me as well as three. If I may marry one whom I love, I care not for poi rion, Sec. but alas poor green heads, before a ft w yeares be over your heads, when you have leu -ft", and licked up the upper fweet of yonr manages, th< _ s will goe to work, I ha vc i and beau yto© ; and what not? The >u unftai >noth"ers a whom • na- ture, I like ; then yooi * irnall pa it • i m f v ind then, Oh, I might I ^her bite in all as alhamed ot ■ y >ur difcon enu to mal your p i \ ;ch, bro K then $6 Mutnmo/uull Hl&Qwr •* 9 r en vs. then will itappeare upon wife tearms, you have reje&ed the counlell or apt manage : and yet many fooles (who are appointed to it) cannot beware the fecond time, but rufh themfelves into as unmeet matches as before, if not worfe. Th^refoie acknowledge your weakneffe, hearken no more to iuch Spokes-men, as are apt to prompt you with wives of their owne fancying : (which is the mine of ma- ny ridiculous men, to take wives upon other mens truft) afcribe not too much to your own wifdome ; rather thinke your felves of all others, likefl: to be deceived by your eye orafEctions. Say thus, A man I am, and but a man, and notuing of a man is ftrange to me. I am as like to fnare my fclre , and as unable to endure a fnare, as another* there- fore I will prevent it betimes. I embrace Gods allowance, as well to pleafe my felfe with aptntffe, as with religion : God is the God of order, as well as goodnefie. Nothing hinders why other accomplishments may not be fought with grace, (fo that be chiefe) and it had need pleafe well, which muft pleafe ever, or be an eye- fore for ever. Surely, if God give me my liberty, I dare not fnare my ielfe. And 1 fee, that asthere are many wives, who for want of religion are a fnare ; fo there are alio many religious, who for want of other accommodations, make every veine in their huf- bands hearts to ake ere they die. Thou art not made of braiTe, but of fleih, as others are, and haft affections equal- ly dilpofed to the like diftempers : its thy wifdome to know thy felfe. And furely , he who would but weigh the odious fruits of unequall mariaees, mieht eafily be drawn from them. What 11 nut- an imputation 1S lt: f°. r a Minuter, young in yeares, to match himfelfe with fomeold woman for what ilie hath ? How meanly is his difcretion eftemed ; and how bafely doth his covetoufnefie heare alway after ? How fhould fuch a man perf^ade others to trud God, when all men fee the baftard of his owne unteleefe 4 carried at his back ? What vile affe- ctions are bred in.fecrct in many fuch, defireof the death, of their companions being, growne decrepit -, irkfomneffe. ©f ipirit, in tediouf i bearing the ^cklineife, unhelpfulneffe, and Terror to it prove ? Fur as K 2 Salomon 6 8 Matrimomall Homnr : or. Salomon faith, The earth cannot beare the burden of un- Prov. 30. 23. G q Ua n mariages, as of one that is heir to her MiftrefTe, that is, upftarts become impotent and infolent, fcorning to take it as they have done. On the other fide, he who takes tn in- feriour party, thinks, that flic fhould pay f®r her preferment, and become fo much the more fubjeft and dutifull. Now when both parties finde it otherwise, to wit, that the one waxes proud, and the other thinks himfelfe neglecled^what a confofion groweth hereby ? Nay, fuch poyfon I have no- ted to break out of fome bafer parties in manage, that be- caufe they are privie tothemfelves of unequality, therefore they are jealous of their husbands refpecl: and love, thinke themfelves defpifed, as not worthy to hold quarter with them, and when there is of all other leaft caufe, yet then come they in with their irkfome fufpitions, and they imagine their husbands to fhew more affeclion to ftrangers than themfelves. Now equality would remove fuch mifpri- fions. Buttoreturne, why fliould a countrey plaine man, affecl the neatntffe of a nice Citizen ? Or a crooked, affeci a perfon eminent for comelinefie ? Were not a country wo- man bred for a Farme, moreequall ? Were it not better like went to like, that lb neither might defpfe other ? Why fhould a low bred one affeci a brave gallant ? or a poore one a wealthy ? Why fhould a meek and gentle one,dehle him- felfe with a fhrewifh fpirit ? Is knot the next way to for- row ? Doth not unaptnefle caufe a divifion at laft ? There- fore this is a fruit of old Adam, to covet moft ardently, that which is forbidden unto us, and againft us. What folly and finne is out of meafure iinfull, if this be not ? and who pit- ties fuch as plunge themfelves into mifcry, and need not ? It is a kinde of delight (in the obliquities of men, whoi no othei canpunifti) to fee fooles to punifh themfelves, and lafh themfelves with their owne rod, it iatisfies indignati- pp a (where chanty abounds not) but deferves no compani- on, Doe not men ftgh in fecret, (for their complaints are but rare to- others* becaufe the errour comes backe upon themfelves) and. w!fo they hadffiaried as deformed, as poor and meanly bred as /hemfelves. Doc they not envie the eafe and- A Treat! je of Marriage. and welfare that cquall couples enjoy, fuch as make much of each other, by the fympathy of each others neife or parity. Another branch of reproofe concernes them that defpife the rule of equall matches. Now what comes of theie un- R equals, that widowes of eilates mull: mirry their horfl- Comemi i keepers, and Gentlemen their cook-maids, but this, that to ' ,IUI " cover over their baienefle, they mull: layout their meanes tobuyarmes, and titles of honour : or it nor, yet enhanic their Farmes, racke their rents, rake and fcrape all they can get (whereas their predecetlbrs lived nobly upon their meanes, and kept good houfes) and all to purchafe eibte, and purchafe equality. What is this, fave to become the f cornes of the Countrey ? Is it not due penance for viola- ting the facred condition of equality ? I might here inveigh againft the ufuall matches now adayes made between boyes and girles, lcarfeyet out of their flic Is : but better occanoi: will offer it lelfe afterward. But to draw towards an end, let me exhort hrft inch as r '/ c ' J. are to enter into this cilate;;o whom 1 fing the former (ons, Exhon A/arry in the Lord^ ltill, but marry apt ly, and lay the ground A of honour in this catling with aptnehV. Be not led away mi with that errour, which you let up as an idoll, in your con- 1 imc to be ceits : bkflc not your fdves with your fuppofed hap mik fle, • ll ". as if you were by io much the more honourable,thcn others of your ranke,by how much you have goctcn a richer match they they ; or 'ixcauie your marrj lee nath pearkt you aloft, above your own condition, or theirs of whom you delcend. No wife Parents joy in then cinldrens unequail marriages : let the modell of iuch as are the molt modelt in your rankc and order,be prefidents for you. f am not i'o weake as thinke , that education,breed, learning and gifts, (although there be no great meanes) deiervc not good man iages, re- ligion concurring : butfet not up your tpp-lailcs,and do not beare up your felves above your worth, in this relpeet ; I I wait upon Ood, and be modell, leliyre pull youdowr, fad : dwell at homc,arTecl not high tilings ; if God have in- deed a blefling for you in this kinde {for elle a great match K 3 may 7 o MAtriwomdH Hw$ur : or, I.Sam, 2?. 4 i, Matt, 2 0. 2i, may prove too hot and too heavy to manage) let God lay it in your lap, ere you affect it, and let your goodneffe finde you out, while you lye hid. And when its offered you, yet fwellnot, fay with T>avid, marrying Michal, Secmeth it fmall ? had I not need to looke well about me ? and with i, Sam. 1 8,2^ Abigail fent for to 'David, Let me wafh the feet of the fervams of my Lord ! go from the dignity to the burden,take thought how to live with fuch an one, of greater breed and eftate then your felves : confider what affronts may meet with you (the beft will lave it felfc : ) are you fit to drinke of this bitter cup, if difcontents fhould come into the place of peace and love, whiles the one is loth to ftoop to the others lowneffe, and the other f eares offence if he (hould fuffer it ? Better it were to defift eariy,then to bring a perpetuall vex- ation upon your felves too late : begge of God humble and wife demeanure,even all unequalnefte by religious cariage, and felfe deniall,left your preferment prove a penalty ,rather then a priviledge ; otherwife , as he faid of his Diadem , he would not have it for the taking up (as being fuller of care then comfort) who knew theforrow of it. Secondly, to them who already live under this yoke of inequality, I advife the fame which I did to them who are under an inequality of religion ; looke backe to that Secti* on, and read it. Onely this let me adde here; fince your unfutableneffe came from your owne wilfulnefle ; doe that now which you ought before to have done (fomewhat out of feafon perhaps, but better late then never ; ) humble your felves under Gods afBidring hand; remember it is ur juft you fhould fret againft Providence, and yoar lot in that, which out of your owne choice and free-will, you have brought upon your felves. Keepe to your felves that ftraitneffe and pinching, which is onely or chiefly knowne to your felves. To live like male-contents,.upbraiding each other, and quarreling witf : God, is not onely moft finfull,but a dif- eafe w orfethen the remedy it felfe : feeing the time was, wherein you feemed e^ch to other, the moft precious of all ; its reafbn that now yoiknake the beft of a bad bargaine, aad of each other. If then beauty, wealth, or the like objects, fo bleated Branch 2. Counfcll to fuch as 3 re al ready urr-pf.y married. I-im. 4, io. A Trtattfe fif Marr/.!?c. 7 I bleared. your eyes, that you forgat the rule of 1 remember you have finned not only agaiV.il: yc >nr own fbufes, but even againftthem whom you have unecjuilly marritd , who in another equall way, might perhaps have lived much letter and contentedlicr , then now they doe ; with com- panions of their owne faihion : fe that you (Rottl wrong them by yourdilcontcnts. Rather laoi apta by faith and repentance for your cm r, that it may be cove- red , and that Gods anger being removed , you may tindc your yoke as tolerable as an uneeiiull one may be. And as once a grave man faid to one in this cafe , iPGod ever offer poll a new choice , beware lead you (tumble at the ftone : which once foiled you. Andfo much of this fecond generall alio, and of the whole direction ferving for the entrance in- to an honorable marriage - 3 now we proceed to that which remaineth in the next Chapter. n a p. IV or- and a A Dignjyon touchwg confcnt of Parents^ and fun cry Oacjlions Andokjeclions anfivatd. Ifhould now proceed to the fecond generall head, wher- OccaGonof of I m«de an honorable marriage to conlift : viz,. Conti- tK " $ diguffi nuance-thereinin an holy manner. But I amoccafioned to p " r handlin ftop my courfe a while, for the fpace ofthis, and the next f Confent chapter: becaufe an hint of new matter being offered in Pirents,an< the former difcourfe , touching confent of Parents, and the Contract, contracting of the Couples : it will be looked for ., that fomtfwhat be he re fiid , about both , c're I wade any fur- ther in this Argument. Of the former thereof in this fourth, and of the latter ( if God pleaie) in the fifth , and then we Confcnt or' rename. Touching this forme:, confent of Parents, if I P ar *nti neccf- fhould goe about to make any let proofs of fe generally a A J ^f^\\~- confeQed tiuth , which all ages , nations , hiitories , law bothdivine and humane, common , ^ivill , yea cannon too ( though with exception ) with one voyce have averred 1 1 might 7 1 Matrmonitll Honour : or. might feeme not onely to adde light to the Sunne, but to weaken that which I would (lengthen : yet for order and formes fake, a word or two may be premiled for the neceiK- ty thereof, I fay neceility in a way of God, though not ab- folute : for this bufineffe of marriage without parents con- fent is one of them, which ought not to -have bin done, yet being done d muft availe, tor the avoyding of worfe confe- quences : that is, confent is not fo eiTentiall to marriage as fome other things are,, that the non-concurrence thereof fhouli difanuli it againe. But in a morall and meet way, its neceffary that marriage be attempted with confent of pa- rents. And furcly,if thofe heathen Lawes feemed juft which yeelded unto parents power of life and death, over their children (fuppofing perhaps that love might well enough betrufted) and thought it meet enough, that they who were the inftruments of giving children their naturall life* might be permitted to be Judges of the fame children, in taking it away ; or perhaps rather chuiing, that a parent mignt Kill a vicions chiide for feme offences, then the chiide kill the heart of a parent, by his diffoluteneffe : then furely much more may it be yeelded to parents to have power to give life or to marre "their marriages. I doe not by the way jufti- fie the former la w,but rather thinke it was a dangerous inare., and betrayed the lives of many innocents, into the hands of the unmercifull ; and no doubt, if it were in force among »s ? it would provoke many prophane and malicious pcrfens, to fhedthe blood of better children then themfelves. But I plead the farre greater equity of this law, that parents may claimearight in the choice of their childrens marriages, !Muft parents have the worft of it, and be debarred from the beft ? beare the burthen of the whole day ; the providing for their children, all meanes of fupport d education, either ingenuous or machinal!, helpe them to Arts, Stocks, trades, which is but to be cheir drudges , if there were no more but fo ; and ftsail they let ve them juft at the point of marriage , and betake them to their owne wifdome and councils* No fdrely, it's good caufetthey {hare in the honour s as well as the iabeur. ' It's A Trettije of Marriage. 7 j It it true, God makes matches, and parents cannot (as Paiemfttflfiti they defire ) in fuch a world as this is ( wherein all are tor doc • 1sr!,c y their ownc ends)provide for thear children inch contentful ^°" l ^ ™** t matches as they defire, but thats not their fault. God muft ^ hi i c g r0i)# helpe,or elk they cannot ,with the barne and wineprcfle.But yet in fuch matches as are offered , parents mud beare fway & ftrokc with their children : though it is not in their power to afford them fuch as they wifh,yet this muft not caufethem to give up their Authority to their children to marry as they lift:, againft the rules , mentioned. And that \x hich I fay of parents themfelves, I fay of Father or Mother inlaws, Gar- GoawUim xni dians and Tutors, who by them, or by the law, are left to o- 2 'V"nours arc verfee and order the waies of Children, not yet able to guide [u e £°|£ ^° ans themfelves;yea althoughthey be offuchyears anddifcrctio.i, aJ wc ft „ pi _' as perhaps a parent, at leaft a itep-father,tnight permit them r< nts to ch !- to themfelves. Yet it were the duty of fuch a childe, to take ircn 9 m pome lefle rr her then more upon himfelfe, and to advife ferioufly ot marru g c - with them ( ere he finifh ought ) whether he have been well guided or no about marrying religioufly t or aptly: Some parents, I grant, have exceedingly wafted theirTitle,and in- fringed their Prerogative : for, fuch is their ignorance, and injudicioufnefle in inch aftaires, (having in truth never ui> derftood, in any degree, what their ownc marriage meant , much lefle are fit to guide others : ) alfo many are fo vitious, and fo debauched with linne, that they have loft all abi- lity IP advife , eytherinthis , or in any other weighty bu- fmelle; buc yet neither arethefe to be defpifed, but to be honorably handled, and ebecially,if they (hail defire to 1 and judge with other mens eyes and braines 5 their children ar^ to yecldtherto as well as to themfelves. What foeciall re- ports do the Scripturs make,of that care which holy aid wife fee tftcfe rex:: parents hai of their childrens marriages ? How did Abra* D 7 ? . hnm adjure his fervant, to goe to the houfe of his fathers , t© \ l 9 *• chuie a wife for Ifaac ? How doth the hyly ChofV brand J ,t "j M, * > £ EJa* for matching without Ifaac and his moth rR-kcdt their X ° * 21 confent, to the heartbreake of them I Mow doefa I;*ac and Rebecca charge I^cob to meddle with none of the Heathens > And, if any prerogative might have exempted an/, then L might 74 MMrimomatl Honour : or, Iudg.14.3. might Samffon a Iudge in Ifcael, have beene exempt : who yet was not 1 for although it came from God that he. (hould marry that uncircumcizedPhiliftinj yet he would have his parents give their coafent, Give me. her ; and when they; law the way of God,they ceafcd.Buttil then,they argued as parents fhould do, what ? is there no wife to be chofen for thee out of any of the families oflfrael , but thou muft fee4o Veife 4^. among the Philiftins ? Not fo much as Hagar that bondwo- naaij, .but it's faid , that fhe tooke a wife for IJbmael , out of Gen.is.2i. the land of Egypt s as ifthe holy Ghoft {hould take itas> granted , that none of the Church fhould queftion it. If a fonne might not alienate his fathers goods,without his con- • fent, there leaft of all himfelfe. Further proofe 1 fay, the Scripture teftifies from the beginning , that of the point. t foi s authority did refide in the parent, from God. G )d him- > felfethe father of Adam^Luc, 3 vlt. brought Eve no him : he did not. feck her himfelfe. A great and leading ground to the point* And this prerogative God derived to parents ( not- withftanding the fall and forfeit of Adam ) for ever. See *Deut. 7.- g. Thou (halt not take to thy (onnes , any wife of theirdaughters. Ierem.29.6. Give your children wives* And Pauly He who gives his virgin to marriage doth well. &c. Neither is it fufficient which Btllarm'we, ( the chiefeft Papift of all who oppofeth this truth m his 19. cap. of Ma- trimony, and that out of the Councell of Trent,SeiTion 14. for moil of other Fapifts do oppofe him in it ) replies , that this text onely imply es, Marriages ought not to be made without the privity of parents : for Gods charge doth not only (hew what ought to be done,but,that elfe the Marriage is fruftrate,as appeared Exod, 22.- 1 6. Where it is left to the parent to deny Mariage in a cafe of uncleannes,, which elfe urged Marriage. Much more then in coole blood. See alfo Kamb, 30. 4, If a parent might fruftrate a vow to God, much more a privite civiil ad of his child to marry. Neither is this nae*nt (as iBelUrmine dreams) of a Mayd under yeeres^ but firnply -of one under covert : though of 20. yeeres old: andfo the Ebrew word \_N*gnar^\s taken lob. J.19. andfo another le&ite upon this text confeffetb^a parent might fruftrate A Treatife rf Marriage. 7 5 fruftrateanyrow whatfoerer. Sec GaI. 4. Afonnc differs q 0::x \ % jLp. not from a ier vant, being under his father : he can difpofe ofnothing in the houfe,of his fathers goods , without con- fent : how muchlefl'e himfelfe , who is the foundation of the family, as in the Ebrew word [_Ban^ notes ? Another P apilt, Ejpcrictus in his booke of clandeltine marriages pro- tcileth the like agai ft BelUrmine in the laft: Chapter lave one. Heatr ens have conftantly beene of this minde. GVtf.34. Skhem craves ok'Hamor to get k\m c Dixah. Catullus , Plautus, Tereuee^LmnQ Vons^Sofkocles a Greek one, all both Comick and Tragique, who fpeak the cuftomes ef their times,do in- timate the lame. One of them brings in the father diftafting his fonnc for a clandeftine marriage, thus, Callft thou me Terfnt./Wr. thy father ? Needft thou me for a father ? Haft thou not Seen.;, found thee out, a family, a wife and children againft my mind ? The ibnne anlwers. I yeeld up my felfe (father ) to thee, impole any task, command me what thou wilt ; Wilt thou have me divorce the wife I have ? Wilt thou have me marry or not ? 1 wilibeare it as I may. Juftiman fhewes the meaning ©f the civilllaw, lib. 1. Inflit.Tu. de Nupth:; Then arc marriages goed , when made by confent of fuch , as whofe power they are under : it is Beza his fpeech, in his Tract of Pohgamy and Divorces : Civil laws about necefli- ty of parents conkn~, are more knowne, more cleere, more holy, then that any man can be ignorant of then* , can dar- ken, or can abolifh them. Paulus the Civilian in his Title, touching therigh* of marriages, iaith, Marriages cannot confift, except all in whole power the parties are, content. Hottirran a famous Civilian (peaks the fame, in his book of chaft marriagcs,part. 4-The Council of Ekb'ris t mentions the judiciall law of Mojcs , confirming it : if a Damofel have bound her felfe by oath or promifc in her fathers houle, and he gair.fw ir, it'* fruftrate. A Canon of BafiUA- deth, marriages othcrwile made, are counted but whore- domes, T conclude wirhi:> he isfuppofed to refigne up his right in refafing, and fo to eftabhfh it. Another ex- Another cafe is 3 in fecond marriages of children, men or ctpti on. women, ^or although there be a difference of judgement in {exes, yet 3 in thiF both are reputed to h* ve equail liberty to match themfelvts, andtobedifchargedfrom the power of the parent. The firft marriage made the parties one flefh, and divided them betft from the parents houie and air hori* ty. So that in fuch a cafe the rule holds not* Paul doth not A Tretttft of Mintage. 79 r.-ot extend the power of a parent over a widow, as to a vir- gin. In the latter, he alway yeelds to a father his liberty : if fee give his virgin to marry, orrefufe to give her, hce'dorh well both wayes : that is, forefeeing the danger pf perfect** tion,and withall knowingthe ftrength of his virgio,tbat (he c Cor. 6.-6. is not neceflitated to marry, he may refufe, or othcrwife hee may yeeld ;. he offends in neither. But after one marriage is expired, the widow is not io tyed,becauie providence hath fettled her upon her owne right. Howbeit, for the weaker fexe, the cafe fo falling out that inee may Hand in as much need of counfell at laft as at ftrft , yea of more : this I lay, That it were the part of fuch widows to remember that they are children, and to afcribe a revercntiall and honourable eftecme of their parents counfell, out of wifedome and dis- cretion, although a precife command of God doe not abfo- lutely urge it. Laftly, parents mud frill looke at the maine point, that is, Parentj muft the condition and ftate of a childcs both body and minde. oWcnrethe For a parent underftanding the cafe to be inch, that a childe c "^ ,tlon (,t cannot without deepe difcontent of fpirit , and inconveni- l ence of body,propending ftrongly to marriage,and fhunning thoie continuall and noyfome vexations, which would at-* tend the contrary; I fay, cannot abftainw : then, his autho- rity not being allowed him,for the tyranny and hurt,but the good and. welfare of his childe, he ought not unfeaibnably and rigidly to difputc his right, or to hold it ; .but tenderly and wifely toreleafe it, at tne childes humble inftance. And this I might alfoprcfle in other cafes as well as this. But becaufc they will occurre better upon objections brought againft: this point : I will flop two gaps with one bufh,that is, both lay downe the extent of this exception,and alfo an- fwer a qucftion, both in one. For why ? here it is objected by fundry children (as I Childrtni ob- toucht before) that, as nearcas they ca?Y,they obferving the '^ : '° n5a " rules of God, in religicus and apt choice, and being now to £J5 e (r»effc m ftrike up the match, they fay, The paints or guardians (at t ;, ] r mmii- leaft of one fide) wilfully withdraw their confent.To whom ^s, infected, I muft anfwer with mnch caution, for the iafegarding of a parents 8 o MAtrimtnull H&mur : or, parents honour : Hrft, ye children beware left you put any unjufl: affront upon your parents, that may caufe this rigour you complaine of, and open their mouthes againft you. For if you doe, their caufe rnuft be heard when you mud {land by. Put cafe that it fall out that your match be not faulty, after your tryali of each other : howbeit you upon the pre- emption thereof have beene yeur owne carvers,and carried all with your owne wits, leaving your parents to ferve your turne after : and hereupon the parent being offended,looks not fo much at the fitnefle of the match, as at his owne con- tempt : who can in fuch a cafe jufUfie you ? In this cafe, e- fpecially if the parents be irreligious,and unable to value the price of a good husband or wife, I fee not what courfe you fhould take, but to humble your felves for your ofrence,con- (Idering m your owne cafe, how unwilling you would have beene to be fo fcrved. Parents, I grant,(hould not on- ly hearken to, but runne and ride to feeke out good matches for their children, if any occafion be offered, and yet many of them are fo ftout, peevifh, felfe-willed and envious, that of ail other matches, they will croffe them mod which are the beft. But yet, you children, erode not them, by forcing unequall conditions upon parents, in confenting to your marriages. Although you be granted to be religious, yet it becomes not you to thinke fo well or your feives,that being nnequallinftateandftocke, or in other reflects, you will force the marriage of one that hath great meanes, under co- lour of religion. F or in this cafe a parent is not bound, but hath his excufe. If God fhould move a parent in this cafe, confidering how few are religious or thrifty, to much their children under-foot for the world in refped of grace, it is well and good : embrace their good will tnankfuily. But Ounfell to to obtrude your own worth upon their affections, you ought fu.h ch.idtcn. not: whether the parents bee religiou or not. The like I fay, if the difprorf >rtion lye in any o:her kinde : This by way of digreflion ;' that children bee fure of it , that their matches be confonai?i and agreeable to the rule; for they may be godly, and yet not apt matches. But to anfwer the queftion,as it lyes, If I (ay your matches be truly equail, yet your A TrfAtife of M4rrta«e. 8 1 your parents will not yecld: Then,firft, Let iuch children count it the croffe, that they are fallen up©n fuch parents ; let them not domineere over them , and outfhoote the divell in his owne bow , ofrefolution and ftomack; but humbly iiibmit to the parents , as parents in generall, feeking by a II meanesto winne their love aftdrefpecl, hrft orlait, by your obedience and well-pleafing : that they may fee it and fay, N'y childisascarefullto give me content , as to ferve his owncturne. And (if need require) let fuch friends be ufed by way of mediation, as may beftalay their ©ppofitemindes, fhewing them the ill confequents thereof: And laftly let cathe Lord alfoto encounter their untraceable hearts,hum- bly fupplicating that he would turne the hearts of fathers to M . the children, tomeltthem, and to give them the des of i>4 ' ut ' Doves, inftecd of Crocodiles. If all thefe prevaile not, then ( the discipline of the Church being in force ) courfe ought Pjrerus obfti. to be taken to make complaint of fuch wrong, v'u* that a r,atc jn con- parent abufetb his or her authority to hurt, and therefore J'*, ^ implore the aide both of the Church and of the Magiftrate , cur c ' to reduce parents into due order : for they themfelves muft k iow,that they are under Authoritr,and no further made the Iudges over the children , then as they can anfwer to God ., for their go®d carriage therein. And fo alfo to require fuch x m ' ' a childes portion from them, as in fuch cafe is fit: But, if children cannot meet with fuch releefe, I leave them under the croffe which God hath caft upon them, to take it up meekly and beare ir, till God eafe their chaine.. But , if the Mar. 16. i?. father content and the mother onJy be oLitinate, they may with good conicience notwithstanding proceed, yeelding all due refpecl to her. So much for this. Another queftion heer moovedis this. Put cafe that two Qn f ft, onsa . parties have got the affections of each other , but the father bouc Parents ©n his deathbed, difient and forbid the marriage : whether confenr,an- istheconfeience of the child absolutely fctyed by thofe ir- lvvered - revocable words, that he or fhe may not dare to attempt marriage? I anfwer, that child which out of an honourable refped (hall wholyforb care, for fcare of after fcruples ; or fhall pioufly cncijnc toforbeare, doubtlefle they bewrav a M very 8 2 MAtnmonulL Honour : or very awfull heart to the counfeli of their parent,efpecially if they be convinced of an overruling providence determining the bufineffe. But to arnrme direcTly, that a child is alway bouad to obey in fuch a cafe, I dare not. Many circumftan- ces muft be obferved, next to the rule : and therefore firft I (hall thinke it fit in this bufineffe, that the parties refigne up themfelves to the judgement of fome wife and impartiall men, who ( without playing bootie) may judge whether fuch a marriage be according to God, or not. If not, they ought fo much the rather to diffolve it , as being not onely contrary to parents will, but Gods rule alfo. And then there is no more to be fiid in it : , for a pious child ©ught not to violate fuch a band as this, upon any affedion to the other party , or like pretence. But if the marriage be found good and equal! : then ought it not to be broken or£ through the parents rerufall at his death : But the will of God being con- ceived to be for it , the parents will mud not contradict his. And hereto adde, that it mnft indifferently be enquired, firft whether the parent were a man truly judicious t® pronounce fuch a fentence ? elfe fure its a deadly fnare. Againe whe- ther in his life he permitted the parties to confort in ordina- ry > till they had wonne each others heart : for in that cafe, his : deniail is doubly in juft : efpecially if he have^a&ually given confent during life , and changed it without ground. Alfo whether he were not alike various in other his con- vention , eafily drawne to or fro by (mall perfwafion % ■ Likewife whether he have not in other of'his childrens m it- ches, beene hardly drawn to confent , no reall caufe of his diffent appearing : whether rerufall 1 might not proceed from fome other finifter caufe, and not the diflike of the match it felfe; as from privity to his weake eftate, loth to disburfe much , aflhamedto come fhort of the worlds ex- pectation for difcredit fake , or .the like. If probably thefe things doe appeare , Ithinke-the bare religion of the fathers laft fentench, ought not to prevails againft more forcible reafons to the contrary : and upon the weighing of thefe cafes , the parties ought to thinke that they heare the v®iceofGod ? tobeare downethe parents: Although the dead A Treattfe of Marriage. 8 j dead parent, cannot alter his words, yet it may be fuppofed he would have altered it, if he had lived, becaute h For this io much. If any more quefhons aide, I will han- dle them in iomc of the uies following , which now I ha- ftenunto. And whereas they doc concerne both children in point of duty , and parents in point of dignity, ririt uf the firft. And hrft here is bitter reproofe, yea terror, to all inch r'r- i. reft aftory children, as have not onely digreffed from, but „ . ~ directly tranigre fled againft this rule. It the duty of chii- ° n di en be (o mamfeft, how is it , that lo many children doe at Lgj?^ once breake through this divine edicl, as great flies through c - cobwebbes,by the ftiongerlawes of their own wills ? Doe m u you fo degenerate ( O ye impes ) from allm©deity and o- then s bedience ? That whereas you might marry, not onely with- confent. in the ranke of your education, but alfo of religion , and the fearcorGodj now through your wilfull contempt of pa- rents, not onely you cbufe you uneqiull husbands among Oftlers and Scavengers, (for thefe are honelf. trades ac- cording to their places) but to gracelefle ones, andfuch as are defervedly by-words of reproach for their (wearing , drunkennes and allprofanenes ? Is this a parents requitallat your hand>, that when there is no other trouble, that 'horld bring the gray haires ofyour parents to their grav< s/hen the treachery of thole which came out of their loines and Wombs ihould do it?I J or,as for thebeggcry you bring upon your Telves, who fhould pitty them, who wrong trkmkives willingly , and chufe themfelves iiich a portion ? Oh 1 but ( lay fome of thefe ) we did it in a fuddame pallion of love, and is not nut to t e pitied ? 1 anf wer , conlklering u conflant milery,your (hort paftion hath procured you, J our (elves are like to have the worft of it t it were well, ifor thers would learneto be wifer by pittyvig your roily. But , theieismore init thenpaflion.K^r wh*Vllo< m • \ offuch '.iousoik's do we meet vvithd i ^ to all their parents counfels , letters, rull them , threats if they venture , prooiiics il th< y o Withftanding all the feares ai d jealoulieSj wan 1 8 4 MMrimonidH Honour : or, Cavillscffuch Children an- fwered, as will be looit in du- ty to their Pa- rents confent : yet will h:ve their parents tyed to them, in meanes and maintenance. loh. o. J. Parents may be(hy todifo. bedient Chil- dren,and why! watch-words of their parents, yet with deepe difTembling and lyes, count it their chiefe happineffe to keepe off the fufpicion of that from their notice, which yet all on the fud- daine they dare rufh upon, the moil: clandeftine and defpe- rate matches that may be ! yea, after they have engaged themfelves to their parents by vo wes and obteftations to the contrary, that they thought they might rely upon them,£/*. 63.10. as children that will not lye, yet then have they broken through all bands ; Ifay, what is this, but the depth of fubtilty and villany ? But ftill they ob/eft, ThebufinelTc was fo fuddenly brought to patfe by perfwafion,as we could not prevent it. Why ? Do you wonder that your way fliould be fo fmooth, having fuch a factor of hell as you confult with, to promote it ? Such Proctors as for a tenne (Killings matter will licence it,for halfe fo much difpatch it,and fend you packing to woe and mifery ? No, no, The eves (Kail ne- ver want receivers and concealers. But, ftill you will fay, It fhould not have beene done, but now its done and paft; Tis true, its done ftrongly enough, I grant, for parents muft digeft that which they cannot vomit ; Bu; the neceflity of the knot excufes not the knitting. And,you (hall have many lookers on upon fuch matches, who will fpeake much for them ; the cafe being none of their owne, who, ifit were their owne lot to have fuch children, would bee ready to call: the firft ftone at them, and of all others, be moft impla- cable with them. To whom I fay, Iuftine not (in in others, fufpend your cenfure till it be your owne lot, as its like to be the fooner, ifyou excufe it. Oh 1 but for pitty fake, you muft nowhelpe them with fome meanes to maintaine them in a hard world ! why? will not love alone maintaine you in coole blood, as well as it did in hot ? what ? have you forfaken your parents in the maine, and come you now unto them for the by ? ftiallyou have the pleafure, an/1 they the burden? Alas you divide badly I Nay, nay, yda muft hold to you to what you have chofen^ Parents have but fmall joy to maintaine theeves and traytors with their meanes and eftate, it coft them more the getting, then your eafic matches coft you. But ftill they alledgc A Treattfe of Marriage. ? 5 alledge, Would you have God deale fo hardly with you, when you repent ? I anfwer f God forbid, but (if there bee any found repentance wrought in you) you fliould bee as freely pardoned, as wee our (elves dciire to be forgiven of God ! But if you thinke to tye God to your fleeves {o f arre to follow you with grace and repentance as faft as you fin, or to accept of that for found, which you fay is fo,you much miftake it : he knoweth well if he ihould thus eafily be baf- fled by one , he fhould have? enough* of your cuftome for ever. But dill you infill:: Let us bee accepted to favour as before. I anfwer, Its a greater matter then fo. If we could as eafily purge your hearts, as pardon you, wee would imi- tate God, who doth both at once. But fince we cannot, we mud deale with you as c D*vid dealt with Abfalon, though upon a fhew offubmiITion,he forgave him the punifhment, yet (by your leave) he commanded him tohishouie, and received him not to favour. And as \David wifely abft ained »'Sam, 1 4 24; from that in difcretion, for feare of nourifliing up the reft of his children to the like treachery : fo parents had need ra- ther to fct up fuch children as Beacons to the reft of their fry, to fcarc them from the like attempts, then (as many fooles do) by over hafty reconciliation, under hope of their repentance, to encourage them to tread in the like fteps. There will be time enough for that when they have bitten longer upon the bridle, and had leafure to repent that in coolenes which in their heat they committed. And fo much for this hrlt Branch. It alfo confutes the practice of fuch children,asalthough B r4nc " *« they will feeme to rely upon the confent of parents, and M 'Jf^ll^ cannot be condemned by men in the bufineffe, yet its not c0U (^ o ( p a- out of any honour or obfequioufnefle to parents, from con- remi by c hil- fcience of the duty, or beholding Gods authority in them : druj,is fin- but from policy and neceflity,becaufethey toiow the parent tu "\ is the purie-bearcr : and as the proverb fait i\ Be it better or worfe, we muft be ruled by him that beares the purfe. Thefc may fay of themfelves as hee once did, ^fwcare with my mouth, but I carry an unfwornc heart within me ; fo,in fad: Iyeeld, butmy heart is unloyall. So that [they fay) they M 3 muft 86 Matrimonial! Honour : or, muft be well advifed, for feare of overthrowing all. If their parents fhould take a pritch at their neglecl, they might lefe a future friend, and forfeit the hopes of their owne good e- ftate: and how then fhould they doe? This is the pad in ftraw, this forces the eye of miny children to be upon their parents, and to make them a grand marke or object of their Caht. 6. 4. duty. I fa to you, as in another fenle Paul fpeakes, Let every man have the caufe of his owne comfort within hisn- felfe, and not without : let not the duty of a childe berefi- dent upon the fathers ability,ro benefit him,or to croffe him: fothata parent may thanke his wealth for his childes fer- vice, and fay, If it had not beene (ilver'd or guilded over, it would never have proved. But, let it proceed from finceri- Rom xi. 9. t y* Some will fay, Its well that it comes any way. Ian- fwer : Halfe a loafe is better then no bread : for by this meanes order is kept in converfation, and many absurdities held off, though there be no thanke to them for their obedi- ence. For,furely if fuch children could draw f'om their pa- Luc, i*. ii. rents what they lifted to fifh from them, as that Prodigall did, with a wordfpeaking, they would foonebid dutya- dieu, and cut out the cloth in their owne fafhion, marrying asthey Lift : wherefore yeeld this honour to thy parents en- tirely, as their due: Be humbled if it have not beene fo; make your peace wirh God for this, as well as for any of- fence elfe whatfoever ; elfe God may cxercife thee by fome unwelcome burfetting, to thy coft, and perhaps make thee to behold that fin wh ciithou wen blinded in, in the glaffe of like difebedience of rhy childe to thee, yea fuch a c h ilde, Matt. . z as (of all others) i.iou -jrefumedft would fce moll faithfullto thee ; Do as trwu wouldeft be done unto ; meafure out to o- thersas thou wouldeft have them to meafure backe unto thee. So much for t lis fecond. B a ich 2. Thirdly, this/jaxes other children alfo, who will perhaps fuffer their parents to cany fome ftrokc v/ith them in their H f * fe cpntc ™ matches, but themfelves will have the chiefe hand in it, and wkitlfar* it muft come in af&rthe matter concluded betweene them- their contcad, felves. And then, at laft, left they fhould incur the reproch ii faulty. ©f refractory, ones, they temporize and flatter their parens . ' caufing A Treat i fe of Marriage. 8 7 lortarmn Caufing them firft tothinkc well of, and then to ratific their marriages ; rather indeed to falve their owne credit, and f< t neceflfty lake, then becaufe they are willing. Thefc coun- terfeit aftors and forces of confcnt,(as if it were voluntary) finagainft the rule of Confent of parents: Shall a childc binde the parent to the good abcaring in this kinde,and then by his content, countenance and Lhrowd his owne aft, in it felfe unwarrantable ? Confent is the parents due:but whiles thou doft urge it unjuftly, thou makeft it thine owne work. Thou cither doft peri wade thy parent really to thinkc well of thy doing, and thats to gull him : or clle on.ly to make iTiew of it, and thats to make him e quivocate like ti.y felfe. Shortly therefore, I exhort all couples that intend marri- Vfi 2. age, to lay a way all covers of llaame, to remove all colours, Bxh< fhifts, fubornations of parents , and goc to worke plainly, 10 ixurrywith deierve, fue,feeke for the confent of parents. Leave is light, Co ' ,e,,t ot ~ and fweet : liberty againft rule ispleafant in the ta{t,but bit- Parcntf « ternefle is in the end of it. Remember that is the bed mar- riage, whole f weetneffe is bed in the bottome : a naturall motion is fwifteft in the end : uow commonly matches of your owne making, are beft at tirlt., and word after. Ayme at fo peaceable a raarnage,is may be lb in a fad [trait and af- fliction, and may not puifue and accufe a man, when he is wounded and fore : fuch an one as will not upbraid the ibule, and lay. This day I remember my fin : and I feele this rod was of mine owne making. That which Paul fpeakes ofthe Magiftrate, Obey him not for compbliion , but for confeience lake, for he beares not the fword in vaine : fo here, Tor the parent represents not God in vaine, and his voice is the voice of heaven : Better erre with a parent then doe well without him. It (hall be as health to thy na- vill,and marrow to thy bones: it (hail procure blefling fro.n thy parent, whole curfe is w T orfe then a Po\pes with booke, bell, and Candle. Obey them who are let over you, for good, for their forraw will not bee your joy: you provide ill in gueving them. Efan and his race werc^Lord Dukes for m.i- ny ages : but his prophane contemning and vexing 91 Rc~ becca 88 Mttrimmtb H$rmr : or, becca with his wives, loft him his birthright, and at the lad cofthimruine. Honour thy father and 'mother therefore, that thy dayes may be long in the land which the Lord hath given thee. Say thou deny thy felfe a little in this : fay thou mud: conflict with a crabbed untra&able parent, yet behold God in a parent, when thou canft not in a good one : winne him by humility, conteft not,a fathers fpirit will not endure it : duty may overcome and breake his heart, but wilfuli oppofition will marre all. And I fpeake notchis onely in cafe of young couples, living under their parents roofe, but in what diftance foever they live. Nor, in cafe onely that the parent be wife, folid, judicious, holy : for fuch a one chimes it by many refpedts : but, even when feely , when unwife, irreligious, and obftinate. The good parent may pray for thy fuccefle, as well as endow and enrich thee. But the bad and prepofterous cannot forfeit his right to his. childe, though he may difable it : he muft have the honour of thy content* though thou canft not enjoy the good of it. Above all, let religious children beware of prevarication in this kinde; calling in queftion their hncerity this way: yea, though they meet with many rubbes in their way : yet let them by their good converfation, prevaile with parents, andfeekeGodto breake and mollirie their parents fpirits,ra- ther then to exafperate. Yea, let mothers have this honour as well as fathers : perhaps they can better advife : howfo- ever, they have merited this honour as well as fathers. Yea let all fuch as are fet in place of iiich by marriage of owne parents, all tutors, guardians, and governours {hare in this kinde. Thinke not that your youth and wit can fee further jnthis kinde then theirs : children will fay that old folke dote, and are fooles : but old ones know that children are {o : God hath given them as props, therefore defpife them i. Sam. z{. not# And to end, I fay unto you as Abigail to r David y lx. (hall not grieve you onjt day, but much comfort you, that you have not made fall a loving parent. You (h a 11 never have Pro. i o. caufe to repent you. The way of the Lord (faith Sabmon) is ftrength to them tHat waike uprightly. The word of God Mica. i. (faith Mica) is good to him that is upright* Though there were A TrcAtife ofMdrrid^e. 89 were no reward for it, yet there is reward enough, even in this, I have denyed my fclfe, and obeyed. S© much for this former branch, the duty of children to parents herein. The fecond branch concernes the dignity of parents. g rAKC f> z. They mull conceive, that even in their priviledge th. j rc iy- rj ?n ,. y ot ^ etna duty too, toGod,to thechilde. They muff lay as the .cms. Centurion did, I my felfc am under authority. Therefore Vtc r rcct here is fad reproofe to parents, for a world of abuics. Truly [0 thcathac mod parents may thanke themfelves for their childrens dii- egUa the refpe&inthis kinde : they never fought to nurture them ' * rt ' ct thcir up inGodsfeare : to informe and teach them in the trade chllorcn * of Gods way, or their owne: But either out of a foolith affection and pitty, will never fee ought anaiile in them, as Adonija and Abjalon were to 'David: (and the fruit was fu- table :) or a great and falfe opinion they have of their chil- drens dexterity and furficiency inthiskinde^ which is the high way to their ruine : or elie they offend in a bafe and de- generate foftnclTe, which hinders them from maintaining their authority in their childrens hearts : Too much fami- liarity begets contempt : and if a fervan: over cockered, will Jooke to be as a child, then will a child lookc to be haile fel- low well met with a parent. There is a mediocrity be- tween excefle of rigor in many parents , whereby they arc ^fj^n^ m"d- fo darke and aloofe from their children, as if they were fc f c wrv [, e _ fome other mens children,andther (laves ; (which imbrceds :weeru »uft«- bad thoughts of them,baie qualities of ferviliy and hollow- r >> and * >»N| ries in chilldren, and exaiperates their fpirits againft them:) ™",\ ds lhvr It caules chidrento thinke themfelves flighted, and as in o- c * urcn * thei points, fo in marriage , as if parents were too ni^h to take thought for it. Difference ( 1 fay ) there is bet weene aufterity, and the contrary cxtreame , of fooiifh familiarity. For by this, children grow fo fawcy and effeminated , that they thinke it almoft ridiculous to qutfeion it , whether their parents will confent to their choice's • fe they have bcenewonttobefoothed in all, b) I r K\er crofled. PmhI fayth well to young Ti&o: an defpife thee. So I to old parents. I bich which might forfeit thy authority into the i. ! < v, N 2© Jtea!r:mo#U/l Honour : or. or Girle. Of all fuch I fay, as old Jacob to Reuben ,. Thy dig- nity is gone. Lay the foundation „, O parent , of that privi- ledge, which thou wouldeft prefcrveto thy fcife,in the wife menaging of thy childs fpirit while he is yong and tender ; for thats the fealbn of leavening him with fuch principles ,. as mull workc after.. B ift fcTts and ^ tner parents fo love their eafe and vacation from care refpeds of Pa- an d follicitude,that, jather then they would take the paints, rents m difrc- they chufe to commit allto wind aiad weather, leave all to gard of their the will of the children ,, hit they, or mifle they, they care ehildres. not Doe we know (fay they ). what will fit and content our children, what woman they' would fancy „ ©r diftafte ?• If we fliould negotiate in this worke, our children perhaps, would befhrew us, for ever after , and never love us more. — We for our parts have given our felves c©ntent in our wives and matchcs,and we have done well (God be thanked) and fo (we hope) may they alfo. Surely you teach your children good divinity. They fee fmall religion ferves your turne , and you are better without it , then with it : and they fee , that if they &ould marry any better then the parents, the goodnefle of a wife would be but a fuperflous object to them , if not a contiiauall eyefore , and therfore they tread in their fteps, like child ftrives to give content to like parent. fl Other parents are alfo fo inconftant in their humors,and aimes at their childrens matches , that they can never come to a point with themfelves about them : Their hearts are carnall, and therfore never fatisfied. For, either on the one fide , they are fo wedded to the peny, that ( although they very well might ) they are loth to part with any thing, for " the prefent, to procure competent portions for the children: Or elfe, they feeing their eftate to© narrow for their proud hearts , and fcorr^ng that they fliould match their children no better,then they can ^ forbeare altogether to yeeld con- fentto any :. though the yeares and d^fires of the peore children crave it :<$r elfe they aime at fuch portions for their heires, for the helping forward of their daughters matches,. or clfelooke at fuch concurrences of birth and parts, A Irtatifc ofMdrrtAgc. fsof them both joyntly made , either at thefirft , or afterwards , marriage, the lioeas deepely bindc them both before God, and in court wo» •* accn- of conference, as the other doth. And indeed the difference tra ^* betweene them, is not formall,but accidencail : and b >th are true reall contracts, or covenants, the 01 e as the other : and if there be ibmewhat in the exprefled contract which is not in the other, in reipect of outward obligation: then may there be truly laid to be fomewhat in the former , which is not in that , in reipect of eifence. For the being ofthe ex- prefled contract reds in the former , viz,, in the deliberate , T , voluntari * , mutuall and honed refolutions ofthe parties a* cawioofl? inong themfclves : which being pad, give the eifence to m adc, ai'd marriage, before the other came , and is the foundation and ennr pro- ground ofthe latter : For elfe it might be faid, that any paf- F crcic, » iage of exprefllon betweene two, before witnefle, falling from parties, though in rafhnefle, or infport, or upon a quedion demanded , might carry the force of a contract, which no man of afny fenfe can imagine : to wit , becaufe the exprefled contract before witnefe, implieth a former mutuall confent betweene them, not now to be queftioned : but yet for fpeciall caufes , to be more lU^mnly andpub- liqucly tcdiricd for avoyding of great inconvenience. And this appcarcs plainly by the effect which a contract orpro- inife produceth : and that is a great alteration in the parties, who before fuchpromiie, were their owne and had the ftroke in their owne hand , to difpofe of themfelvcs as they pleafe : But , after their mutuall promife , they ceafe to be their owne, and pafltf over themielvcs , ( not their money , or corne, or goods, but themfclves ) each u Ider God to the other, fo that now each hath power over other , and onely one over the other. In fo much that whatfoeyer other pro- mifc fliould poflibly be made, by both of nijem , or either of them, to any other, befide* themfclves , if confeifed , doth uiianull it (elfe , and is ipfofatto voide, by venue of the pre- contract or foreprgmifc (b made : But although it be de- O nied , 2 8 M*trim$nUll Utmnr : or, nyed, yet i: neve; thelcs bindes them before God, (o that they fhali be for ever culpable before him,of treachery and fpoufe- breach, without repentance. If this were confidered , ^oubtleffe it would awe the fpirits of many hot and tm- ftayed yoong ones , from fuch attempts. But of that after. Heere onely I fay , that feeing the true nature of felfe re- nouncing and felfe refigning vcCydcs as really in a private promife , as in a witnefled contract , therfore they are not two things , but the fame with divers circumftances for fpeciall reafons, annexed. So much for the acception oft he word. Reall cob- To this I may adde,that in fome cafes,realls may counter- t afts as go&d vz \\q verballs: when as a thing done implies as much(in the as vcrball judgement of a decreet man ) as a promife made in words. As if a perfon formerly intermitting a purpofe to marry another yet hearing, that (lie is attempted by a newlover , fliall repairc to the party and fay,fo it is that you know there is love betweenc you and me of a long time depending , fo deep , that I dare not in conscience, yeeid my right in you to any other , wherefore I pray you , if any fiich thing be orTred, accept it not : this-in confeience ties the party to marry her, and is equivalent in promife , and if there be wit- r>effe, it concludes againft him, that (hall defert her. Why ? becaufehe defrawdes her of a poflibilky ofequall weight, to hisowne marriage. So againe,a man hath defifted to pre-*- fecute an offer of marriage with a woman, Virgin, or wid- dow (all is one) and the woman adreiTes her felfe tea farre offdwelling , perhaps thoufands of miles out of the Kingdome : The man hearing of her drift , comes to her , and tells her, that whereas there hath beene fomeinter- mixTion of love and marriage-fute along time, yet now he cannot permi^her to goe that long voyage , his love is fo dcepe towards her , and therefore diilwades her jour- ney. Here I fay, 1 IhS! although the.woman (if free before) is at her Gwri£ hand to goe, or not to goe, yet if {he confent te ftay, the motion made is equipollent to a promife of marri- age ; acd cannot in confeience gorrightcouiheffe be bro- ken A Trt*lif*ifM*rrUfe. 99 ken offby the man. Many like inftanccs might be ufed : but thefearefurricient. TheVfe 5 &c. This being thus, what fl^ould thepunidi- mentbe of Tuch counterfeits, and impudent varlets, who clare falfifie the matter of a promife, that is, impudently a- verre and beat downc a party, that there hath beene a co- venant and promife of marriage betweene them , when as yet never any fuch thing was in the world ? I fay fuch per- Ions ought to have the uttermoft penalty inflicted that the Law can impofc : as being an cxtreame impeachment of the credit and eftatc of the^innocent party, and a marke of intolerable audacioufneflcin abuflngfo folemne a thing, to any counterfeit ends of feafe wretches, not meet to live in a Commonwealth. An example whereof wee have lately had in our Corner, by fo much the more odious, becaufc fo infolent. Before I paffe from this point ofpromife,itraay be asked, what pemiCz what promife doth realize marriage before God P I anfwer: r'o r marriage Firft, it muit be rnutuall ; fecondly , voluntary or free; third- doth ^«d. ly, without error; I meane fuch as doth overthrow aad con- tradict it felfe. Firft, it muft be rnutuall, and cquall, not of t. one to the other onely,but of that other to him ? For iffuch . , •r 1 \r r \l - « c A mutual a promife be a putting ofrones ielre into the power or ano- ther : then,as no man can put himfelfc into anothers power without an act of his owne refignation of the Lbcrty he had in himfelfe, fo neither can each of the two parties give up their liberties without rnutuall confent each toother. For in marriage the yeeldingupof the right of one, receives t right in anothenand therforc it muft be rnutuall and recipro- call. If one fhall pretend the promife of the other, and yet fufpend hisowne,as thinking hereby to tye that party to hit owne time and lcauirc, himfelfc being freeze is deceived. For marriage confent muft be rnutuall ; And the party with- drawing confent, doth in that refocft efctingaifh and maks fruftratc the others promife from (riaringthc prorniicr : ex- cept afterward the other party alfo lliall as freely come in as the other did,and fo make the pronfife rnutuall and equal!. I kavc heard oft Cad accident in this kindc s that befell a fui- O * tot one. i go MAtrimontitt Homur : or- tor to a maid, being a Gentleman of good perfonage,he fee- ing himfelfe to have wonne the affections of the maid* and . thinking himfelfe furc enough of her, without any deepe ob- liging himfelfe unto her , pieafed himfelfe in his conqueft, and there refted : fo long till the Gentlewoman perceiving her felfe flighted, fell to as deepe a difdaine of him, as hec had beene indifferent to her : in fo much as another match being offered her, fhe embraced it. But the report thereof comming to the Gentleman,as"he was playing very folemn- ly upon his Lute, he fuddenly ftart up,and breaking his Lute ail to peeces, in-ftantly went out of his wits. A notable Item to alljthat they play not faft and loofe in matter of mu- tuall promife, and Ipeedy difpatch of marriage. Secondly, it muft be free and voluntary, notdrawne forth by circum- A free or vo- vention and fubtill trickes or polices, either of the par^ luacary one*, ties themfelves, nor yet their agents and fpokefmen : nor extorted by fear,e and threats, either of parents,(when they are defirous to put ©rY their children for their eafe, and are fet to difpatch the matter) or by the parties themfelves, (as when the man menacing the woman, and attempting to ra- vifh. her,, except fhee confent, or to doe other violence to her, doe hereby force a promife from her)or any other vyho axe active in the bufinefle. And this I would have noted,that althoughparents doe not ufe any compulfory and terrifying courts, to, draw their children to inconvenient matches; yet if they doe carry themfelves ft earnly to their .children in an indirect way, andrefufeto heare them wkr> arc third parties, ufing. weighty reafons to duTwade ; or if the parents doe not rather in meekneffe convince the childe by reafons invincible out of the word, or other refpects of good rea- fon and difcretion, that its a meet match,yeelding ftill to the childes objections, (who muft bide by the forrow, when the parent goes free) then I fay, That the overmuch reve- rentiall awe of the/^arent, .fmiting into the childe a loathr neffe to of&nd, arid takimg deliberation a way. from it, that fpitsledina cord of necefiity to doe that which elfe it would not doe : I fayr this ought to bee counted as a com- pulfion ? andfucha childe to be pittied and freed from the * "*" Con- A Trcatife of Marriage. 1 i Contract : Or, if marriage proceed, and'ill confcquenccs follow, they mud be all faftned upon the parent, not upon thechilde, and the childe may chime the bed amends. I fay then fuch promifes bindc not in conference, becaufe the princible of willingneffe is abfent : and the party would nevjr have contented, ifiiich feare and compulllon had not beene ufed. Iaddethis, except afterward the party being freed from fuch fea re, and returning to her fclfe, fhall ex- prefie another confent free and ingenuous : then the for- mer impediment cannot fruftratc this latter promife. Thirdly, it muft alio be without deceit or falfe opinion : $• A plaine and that in fuch a kindc as oppofeth marriage cUentially. 'j ,c ^ ,:lvju Hence thofe Heathenifh preftdents of marriages are fru. U! * cc x% Urate, when one fexe marries the fame, {Nero was an hor- rible example) when an Eunuch marries a woman,or a wo- man marries an Hermophradite (one of the Epicene gen- der,} when a man is deceived in the pcrfon,as Jacob in Lea, put into his bed in ftead of Rabeh (notwithstanding the aft of copulation) but especially, when the party fuppofed to be pure, and a \irgin, proves defiled and corrupted : in fuch a cafe,if it breake out, before marriage confummate, it doth juftly infringe the promife, and makes it of none errecl.This be laid touching a binding promife. But touching this lafi What that is of error, underftand it of no other errors accidentally which doe not of themfclves crofle marriage. Vor, though they may be fuch as gave occafion to the party to confent, and, had the error beene roieknowne, the party would not have yeeldcd : yet becaufe they difannull notthereall knot of marriage, that is, peculiarity of pcrlon,by derilement,there- forethcy are premised no other then in fome cafes would have beene admitted : and therefore the party muft ftick to his or to her pronvfe,neverthelefle ; and therefore let them either beare it as their defart for lacke.bf inquiiition, or if they did their indeavour to beinformed,uut were deceived, let them take it as the triall which God hath put upon them; the promife bindesflill, except the oilier party releafethic, And (o much for this qucftion. Some Vie would doe well, ere I leave it, becaufe the yfi i. O s pomt l01 MMnmtsfdii Hmw * or, •• — ; ~"~ ** * ■ i ■ ■ —^ — r -^ Admonition point is but occafionall,ind fhall be no more returned unto, to all partict And I wcoild urge thefe two ufes following, the one of Ad- to beware o£ monition, the other of Reproofe. The admonition is , that their marriage £ n gi c perfons be well advifed of their pronaifes , ere they promita. makc th(jm ^ And indeed fcw Words might fcrY ^ if thc fo ^ mer item were well regarded: viz. that the fpeakinor fa few words at once, may for ever difpofleffe them of their li- berty, never to be recovered : foolcs once , and (laves per- petually. So that its no matter of flightnes, and merryment , no play,no trifle, no fport, except you will call that a (port which may cod a poorc wretch both body and foule. Ahner indeed called murder a fporte , but bittcrneffc was in the end of it. Be advifed therefore : and let this point , feafo- nably as a hammer knocke home to the head the former ex- hortation of marrying in the Lord, and wifely to looke well about you, e're you venture. I pray tell me, would you wil- lingly make another man matter and owner of any commo- dity you have for nothing ? fay it were but your herfe , or cow,yca were it but a dogg,whichyou fct by ? I trow not, how much le{Tc of thy felfe ? Art thou fo feelly as to refigne up the right of thy lelfe , and to make thy felfe a prifoner , a captive, in the prifon of marriage , whence there is no ef- cape. Surely no except thou art mad, and hateft thine own flefh : thou wouldft not doe that with a breath , which all thy worth cannot revoke and.undoe ? As Salomon faith, be- ware how thou become lurety for a ftranger : quit thy felfe fpeedily,and deliver thy felfe as a Roe,and as a bird from the net of the purfter. Man or woman , yeuth or maid , looke to your promifes. I thinke refignation of a mans or womans felfe to an other , had not need to be to every cornmer , to every unknowne ftranger, to each unchaft, irreligious, in- elifcreet companion,which might make thy life irkefome for ever. In the promifc is the foundation of marriage : whether k be well done or ill, it can be done but once, therefore let it be deliberately , wifely and well done. Oh! let it be a folemne thought with" you, my promife gives away my felfe and takes unto my felfe another , my liberty is gone. If a woman be urged to give up her right \ onely in a little copy- hold A Trttttfe $f Marriage. j * hold fhe will ihrug at it , and thinkc well of it before hmA : And yctfhee may poflibly recover a better pecce of land , for a fmall matter : But tkis free hold of thy pcrfon , and thy liberty, once refigned np and forgone, can never be re- covered againe. Therefore I fay, be well advifcd e're thou forfeit it. The fecond ufe is Terror and Reproofetoall who have Rs/fc and i*. difguifed themfeives in this kind of inconfideratc , rafn pro- con/iderate miles. You fhall have leafure enough to repent , ifanguifh P'omifciof will fuffer you. Alfo of ail violenc parents , who to bt ridd T**?^ Ver * of their children , force them upon uafutable marriages, fiSjjJ which their children had as leive part with their lives , as venture upon : and fo bring upon them a lafting monument ofmifery. If faith the parent, thou refufe this match, I will never own thee for my child, I will difpoflefle thee of all? Nay what fay you to parents who firfl defloure virgins, and then force their childen to marry the harlots, for a cover of their owne villanie : Is not this curfed love, and cruell command of an inocent child? But to be fhort,cfpcci- ally it rebuketh thebafeneffe of many, who call arrowes,and deadly things, and fay am not I in fport ? that is, who feme themfeives with ftrong pcrfwafions and arguments into the hearts of fuch as they fue unto , and having fo done , breakc off all againc , and wipe off every crumme off their mouthes,as if they had eaten no bread : Oh, you mafterleffe perfons : what ? are follemne promifes but cobwebs, which great flyes can breake through? Make ye no bones of them f doc ye fnap thefe bandes in two as Sam/on did his cordes and greene withes? There is one who is flronger then you, wh© will not be mocked , but bind you forbur- ftingincheinestooftrong for you. But perhaps you will fay, if it were my lightneffe and gi-oMincfTe , it were very finfull indeed, and I deferved never t\o be trufted more. Yes perhaps your word fhall be taken, but it mall be by fuch an •ne, as (hall make you doe penance againft: your will, all your life for the breach of that promifc which you willingly «iade. But you have (ince that heard fad reports of the par- ty j for iaftancc fake. That the woman is nohufvvife, or is X 04 MttrimmtH Honour : or, is a Melincbolique perfon, not fit for your temper , nor yet ( in a (econd marriage ) for your children, or fie hath fame ofherowne, orfome fuch blemifh now you have found out : well either thefe are true or elfe falfe. Are they falfe ? ' How bafeiy minded art 'hou, whom the prathng tongue of fome falfe fycophant, /angler or goffip ( loving neither her nor thy felfe unfeignedly , (liould (hake that affection of thine , which being well grounded once ( as thou fuppo^- fedft ) drew from thee promifes of marriage ? But fay they are true in part, or wholly? what the.n? They come in out of feafon , the deed is ftolen, its too late now to (hut the ftable doore : affections are fnared,thou maift not dtfert her. Waft thou not in thy owne power before ? hath any man forced thee to refigne it,fave thy free felfe? Thouartfnarcd :andl fay, if {he {hould releafe thee, it- were hermeekncs and dis- cretion , but its thy raflinefle: if thou wert amerced as he was , who defiled a Virgin , for the fatisfaction of her dii- contented fpirit, and queftioned name, thou were well fer- ved. No other fatisfaction can duely be made her, then thy returne a gain e to her with fo much the more affection, by how much thy deferring of her hath beene long and yrkefoine. Let Jie falling out of friends, be the renuing of love : Thou departedft once, that thoumightft returne for ever. And thus much for this ocCafiomall point of pro- mifes. Qn ft No w I come to the fecond generall : having (hewed ther- *£ * ' fore of what contract I am heere to fpeake , viz,, of a wit- Wlaccher a nc tf e( j| anc j p ro fe{Ted contract, it may be demanded whether Contract be . , „- y .. . i. ^ , • , T /- * . cfienti.il-1 to lt ® e euentiall or not , to marriage ? To which I lay , that Marriage, the efTence of marriage confifts in the former promife ma- king mutually to each other : therefore there is no effentiall neceflity of the witnefling and profdhng thereof, before o- thers , but marriage lmy ftand asreall and flrme , in point of fubftance without it as with it. Howbeit , I conceive it 'Anfo. to ^ e °^ vcr y fpeciali exoediencie and ufe , for the behoofe and good of the parties , as I (hall after manifeft. All forts of people, even very heathens have alwaks eftecmedEf- p onfalls, Betrothings, Af faring*, € ontractings, Affirffiings , (for A Tredttfc of Manage. I o 5 ( for they are aH one ) to be very folemne matters , as the words they ufe>and the ceremonies then performed,do tcfti- tic: So (acred and reverend it hath appeared to all forts,that Con • 16 * ,. there Teems to be a ringer of God, pointing out the ufefulnes rjr ancici > x ii\4 thereof. WitnellV the aflembling of the friends of the oar- ji "u c lcrji ut- iles en both fides to bs fjeftators therof, that fo chebleliing of it might bee more effecTnall. Wknefle that inftance of Bcoz and Ruth who were (as it were) affianced in the gate of their City , before many folemne witneffes: who being called forth to teftifie the contract, did aflem thereto, and by their acclamations and thanksgivings, and prayers to God for them, graced and honored the fame. So that its no wonder if the Church ofbotholdand newTeftament did pra&ife it. And its particularly fpecificd in the Genera- tion of Chrift, that when fofepb and Mary had been efpou- fed together, before they came together, ince was found with child, of the holy Ghoft . The Hebrew writers tell us \ tyt \fa c& n . of the formes and tenor of words ufed among the Iewes, traces what? to wit , that by divers rcall ceremonies , they (trcngthned the promife which hadpalTed betweene the parties, and that in a fet meeting of the familie. Somtimes they did it by tickets of paper, written by each of their hands , and de- livered by each other mutually. Sometime by very folemne words of obligation pa (Ting betweene them : lometime by a peecc of coine given and received, which by the change of poiVeffion, argued the polTeflion and alignment which one made and (urrendrcd to the other : All to (hew tfut they accoumpred this bufinclTe no trifle, or toy, to be wan- tonly ufed, fbrthe pleating of carnall humors, but a divine ordinance requiring hrrac and ftrong alYurancc each ofo- ther. The formes were thefe, Lo , thou art betrothed unto me, or, be thou betrothed unto me , or thedike. If it were without witneflcs , it was fruftrate. The solemnity hereof was acted under a Tent] Canopic or Tabernacle , let up for the nonce , to (hew imvardnclTe and fecrecic of marriage affection and benevolence. This was ns,{hew- jng them the dangerous finfulneffe of fuch dalliance : Alfo, whether themfelves have freely and with >ut feare, and with the mutuall confent of parents, teftified., by presence 9 or by their hand ( if doubt be made ) confented mutually in heart, to this contract. The fecond perfon , are the par- tics contracted ; who ought to follow him that leades them in the coatraft , thus , or in like forme of words; fifft the man, then the woman : lThom^^Iohv 9 &c« doe take thee few* A Treatife of Mtrriagc. 1 o 7 Joane, Mary, &c. for my cfpowfed husband, or wife, and 1 promifeto marry thee fhortly without faile,ifGod will. And To with fome fhort counfeland prsicr to God to difmis them, as true man and wife before God. The third perfon are the witnefles produced: who being moved therto, anfwer and fay,we are witnefles of this contract,by which theic parties arc betrothed each to other,and wilteftifie it,beingrequircd. The fourth generall is , the rational! refpects, in which fuch a contract feemes yery meet to be ufed. And they may Rniomll rc- be reduced ro theft three following. As firit the futabknes J^ 1 £ v ^ lch oh.e contralto the witneflcs of the attempt. It's meet that * "b^uicd. iuch things be done orderly, leafurcly , and by degrees, not raftily, fuddenly : and therefore although a promifc have Thc *• patted betwixt the parties, yet as the matter grovves riper Sutablenes to between them,fo its comely that it be no longer keptiecret, * c **$* of butmanifefted , that thereby they may be awed with the u morefeare and jcaloufie ofthemfdves, from uncomely and audacious eutt rpriles one againft the others chaftity .Second- ly to prevent inconftancy. The nature or rlefh is vaine : and all men are Hers. And its feene as mucii in this futject , 2 " as any others. As hot as youth is in her gare and pallion, To prevent yet the belt, of their ^old proov^-s brafie oft timet , when iaconfiandc they weigh things in coolc blood. Adde hereto , rhat this bafc world is foil of curiofity , and jangling , talebearers , and flatterers, who f.llthe ^cares of couples with idle and ungrounded filrmifcs : w hereunto they whole eares as cre- dulous , doe 1) j open , and hereby their affections are un- julily alienated,each againft other. Thus foeleslove lightly, and leave as lightly, others of themfclves, not knowing tkeir one lpiri^taUe a toy in their heads,and without all re*- fon, runne into humors of feare, jcaloufie, melancholic and conceitedncfle againft cacho.her , and 'p withdraw them- felvcsfudde. ly from each other, and change their mindes. They doc not (as they fay ) affect (a well as at firft,they ob- fcrve (oint light etffe each in othcr,fomc ungovei ncd tongue andpaflionsjorthey diftaft the kindiAcar iage,or training, and upon thele eiefores, either fo,or feeming io.they repent rhtflij and fall off. And yet perhaps iome of thetc have had P 2 time till — «g— «^— " - » — I0 g MatrtmortiaB Haour : oiy time long before to bethinke themfelves, . But who can jnake a coate for the Moone r : By this meanes, as God is dilhonored , fo the party innocent wifer and of more folid affections is deluded,yea fometime driven to defperateneffe: And had not here need to be a cord to tie a Proteus in a knot from fliping?" yes furely, witneiTes had need be Solemnly* ufed to wkneffe to the contract , that if they will ftii be fa. fickle, they may be compelled to fa ithfulnetfe, or elfe hand- led as their 'treachery deferveth. . I Ixave heard of fome who> have gone to the doofes of the church to be married,and yet fhrunke back. And whereas its objecled>may not things ap- pear e in time worie which before lay hid ? I anfweryes ,. butyou-fhould have thought (o beforehand fulpended your, promifes : except you made no other promifes , then /ou in- dented together tokeepeorbreake, and that each ftiould confent to the others refolution, either to proceed or deftft , which I thinke is a fulfome courfe , and makes a promife s Hf edlefTe and fruftrate. MffpcB J* Thirdly, this may ferve for the benefit ©fthe parties con- "ih« benefit of tracked. For, as it was an ancient cuftome among the the pmies Jewes when two parties were contracted , to pray to God somraacd. f or thcrr j 5 anc j t0 bi e ff e them folemnly : and ( no doubt ) the parents or fuch as fupplied their roomes , did annexe fome word of exhortation,to them, from the experience they had, both how great a worke they entred upon, and how raw and greene they were to digeft it , fo I fay I thinke it not a- ; mifle , that fome grave perfon did the like now. The con- tract ought not to be a bare furrender of each other ; but an . inftiiling of fome difcrcet watchwordes and charges from their elders, touching the mutuall duties of both, jointly and feverally, and fo prayer for a blefling to be added. Solemne things (hould be handled accordingly even in the outward fafhfonofit : for men are fenfible and fenfuall creatures, and are led by outward objects to inward apprehenfions. Still I iay,I do not affirme this courfe to be of the effence of the contract, but yet a, very meet addition,if it may be had % arid much making for the better difpatch thereof. And, what feafon is foapt as this ? . when the Ewes of Labm were A Trcalift of Marri.i^e. i op were to conceive j Jacob ( warranted by <^od) fetroddes pilled and" ftraked before them, t ! a: the fancie of the cxi- ture being heated in the aft of generation , mrght the eider carrie in the fpecies oi panicolouredncflc: So h ore,? he fight of to folcmne a worke is this is , of Contracting two , and ipaking them one flefh, will more eafily and throughly ftirre the imagination, and the fenie being mooved, doth the nn>; e familiarly convey the infttuvtion to the uhdetftartding and heart. Pitty therfore it is,that the raouldes being fojready to faflupn it ) that the melted metali of infraction uiould be wanting unto them , they being ^o capable. And this I think is the caufe,why there be Sermons made at Baptifihe, and the Supper, at funeralls and fuch occaiions, tolef in the doctrines of the things into men , ( whereunto in generall mofl are fo averfc)becaufe,as there is a feafon for all things, (which is like apples of gold and pictures of Giver, ) fo alio for this : and that is, when by the novelty and ftrangencfle of the thing, never done before, the mind is provoked to an expectation , and fo fets the wheels on worke , to receive and apply things according to their worth and uie. This for the third. Only one word more I addc : If any fhouU aske, what forme of inftruction were meet to be u(nd at fuch a time, to the parties contracted ? I arifwer, 1 pielcribed none : This whole treatife following fheweth their duties; tw T o or three fentences culled out of each branch may ferve at fuch a time , if wifely 'apply ed, as the feverall uie of the parties may feeme to require. So much for this fourth* r ., Now I proceed to the rift generall , touching thequefti- Touching ens arifing out of this contract. The firft may be, what is q „ c fti nnSt to be thought touching the publication of the contract, in f)neft. i. the affcmbly, andtouching the Minifters ad in marrying. For the former, I fay, it is a very difcreei and neccuary aft wbch;r pub- efthe Church: forasmuch as the procuring of the fafety ;c , ron( f and good report of the married, is a point of religion. Now contrad be the private contract of two infeC e ., or with a few, reach- ncccflary eth not the end of put licatien ; Became its more likely that the body ofa Congregation may (boner give notice of any precontract betweenc the parties, then a few witneffes V J can no JdatrimonUU Hontur: on can doe : and as for the parties themfelves if they were guilty, its much leflfe to be expected, that they (hould accufe themfelves. So that, for prevention of fuch a confufion, as to marry precontracted perfons, what courfe can be too fafe and furHcient ? True it is , when all is done , it may proove but little to purpofe, through thefubtilty of the offending party : but when that is done which can be , the Church is free : the miichiefe ought juftly t© light upon the wicked delinquent. Well therefore were it rn this cafe 9 if liberty were denied to panies 9 ( at leaft in fo common a way of a fee, without difference, or fpeciall inquiry about the fitnefte of the difpenfation ) from thwarting fo wife and orderly a device : which being done , people would not itch as they doe after private marryings,to oppofe publication* and that upon humor, and vanity. For through fuch a bafe cuftome , it comes to pafie,that one learnes of another, and now he is thought but a peafent who declines not this lawful provi- £#?! ettne Cnurch. Rather thofe who be of fafhion and wealth,fhould thinkc it their honor to fubmit to this practice: that they might give the better example toothers, andfo approve the warrantablenes of their marriage : and ftop the gap of privacy andofclandeftne matches, without confent of parents,a world of lutes upon pretended prec©ntracls,and as much forrow to parents who by this diforder are robbed of their children, and cannot underfland ©f their marriage 3 till it be pad revoking* Jgucfl. 3. The fecend queftion is, what is to be thought of the rmr- What is to be rying by a minifter ? The queftion arifeth from the diflfe-, thought of the rence of other Countries fafhions in this kind. In the Scrip - marrying by a tures, we fee it was civilly carried, and difpatcht by the Miniiler. Eiders in the gate : and now in fome of the reformed Churches, we fee itg performed in like fort , officers being appointed to take their names, to booke them in a Record , andfo with a (hort ceremeny to difmiife them. But in my judgement the practice ©four church to do it,by the miniftcr ysevery way fooft convenient. For .by this meanes^ the pub* liquenes of the aftion,makes the matter more folerane,awes the parties much more, both before marriage t© carry them- felves Anfa A Trtdiife cf Marriage. 1 1 1 felves fo, as they may not be afhamed to (hew their faces in publike, to jnftirie what they had done. And if there were liberty given to parties in this kind to marry upon their pri- vate contracts, what a world of fmne might enfue , as in fome to live in a courfc of defilement , and to abufe each o- thers bodies , at their pleafures : in others to leave each o- thers,even after the knowledge of each other , befides ma- king of that vulgar,which cannot be preferved too wanly. I deny not, but that poflibly fome perfons (o marring, might do it without direct fin againft God : but what's that to the fcandall which is occafioned thereby ? we muft fo looke at that we doe lawfully in it felfe,as not forgetting our rule, that we procure things honed: before men. Whatfoever is pure , and of good report , that we muft enfue , ani fo the peace of God attends us , not elfe. Many arts may be good m the doers confeience, which yet are fubject to the fufpi- cion and ill conftrtiction of others. In fuch cafes , a man muftaske this of himfelfe , ifallfhoaid take fuch liberty to himfelfe , what would enfue of it? And this would checke his proceeding. Thelewes ( as the writers tell us ) had a ftrange way of contracting couples : to wit, for the better fecuring of the match, they permitted the ufe of copulation for once to the parties, and and no more till marriage,upori a-grcat penalty : But finding great inconvenience to grow hereupon, (as no wonder it did) they forbad any fuch courfe of contract : ani who fo attempted it,if it were pro- ved, he was fcourged with rods openly , for reproach faJ%c. So much for this fecond. Now a third queftion arifeth upon this , that in our for- pofe the teftimonf of one fueh IewifhTextman as hee, mould overweigh the opinion of many novell writers But (fay thefe men) if the Holy Ghoft had beene againft it, might he not have namecj it -■•? I anfwer, y es, if he had thought good, -ut an argument from negatives prevailes not. Rather, the not naming it* ftrongly argues the thing out of queftion. The Text menti- ons not the nakedndfe of the daughter in lawes daughter* among the forbidden particulars : what then ? may a father in law marry fuch an one ? I thinke not. The fecond de- gree is included in the^irlV.W^.Not uncovering thedaugh- ter in lawes nakedneffe. Yet here is nothing but a trinity by marriage ©f the mother i and is ic net as rationall that al- though A Treat iff of Mintage. 1 1 j though the uncle or aunts fonneand daughter are not na- med, raire nearer c f blood (ihou^U not in the descending line, but collateral!) then they, yet their nakednefTe mult not be uncovered, becaufe the uncles and aunts may not ? 1 ell me, if the wives brother or husbands fitter had not beene named exprefly, had it been a thing law full to meddle with them ? 1 thinke nor. If the uncle bee direftly forbidden to marry his ncece, or the aunt the nephew, (hallnot their children be forbidden to marry alio , being out one degree lower ? As touching the argument from negatives, it is io weake, that it is gone into a proverbe : and might not a thoufand abfurdities be as well proved by negation? Dare thefe men argue thus againft a Sabbath of the eighth day, becaufe it is no where tranflated exprefly from the i .venth to be the Chriitian Sabbath? Againe,what is more common through the Scripture, then for particulars not named, yet to be included in their generals ? It was not exprefledin the fourth Command, that a man might not gather ftickes on the Sabbath day; yet becaufe in generall God had charged that no drellirig of mea:,or bodily labour mould be then done, but all be dreffed and provided before, therefore the Lord commanded him to bee ftoned by vertue of the ge- neral! Commandcment. And, are not thefe weake bottoms for men to warrant their owne, or other mens marriages, becaulc the contrary is not forbidden, when as that Is for- bidden, which is, it not further offset full as 6rrc ? 1 1 i v jeded, that many of the Patriarchs did thusmairy, and ire no whit impeached for it. I anfvver,ir that be a reaion, then let us marry our halfe (ifter, as Atrtktmdid Sam ; for fo hce juftifics himlclfe to chat Abimelech, yet in deed thee is my li- tter, for (hce is the daughter ofmy'father by my mother in law. ' ! oe we not know how Terabs family after it came to Velo^otamia, and lublifted there, was tar re divided from the other families of S hem r and therefore ftraitned much in their choice ? Curled Chums family they were I tdden to marry in, as being the nation which I •J ruot ou^and give it thepoftcrity of Ab r tbe m; where O then j j a MAtrimenUU Hemur : or, then fhould they marry, but within their owne narrow fa- mily r> And wee may well thinke they did as well as then could be done, and made fiich a fhifc as they did : for even thofe they married were Idolaters, which was forbidden, if it could have feeene fhunned : but one necetfity pardoned another : better Idolaters under no curfe, then accurfed Canaanites.If they had had larger breadth, had they fo ven- 1 make no tared? But they much prefle the example of Caleb his giving q6arrcl,l>ut Q £ j ±c hfa his daughter to Othnkl her coufin german. To 1 • j'j^ y which I anfwer, if it had beene as they fay, yet it was not vine cihcri to inxoole Mood, but upon a condition made ingenerallto tbemfchcs. any : but falling out as it did,it might have beene an exemp- tion by an extraordinary occafton. But the thing was no- thing io,for Othnidxs called the fonne of Kenazfiy the fame liberty of fpeech which calls Chrifts kinfnaenhisbrethen. He was hoc the fonne of Kenaz, M Calebs brother, but the fon of his ions fon : fo Tremellitts upon the place : Brother(faith he) that is, one defcending from his brother, two or three Generations remooved. Each Grandchild , and each Ne- phew or fonne of Nephew, is called a fonne by the phrafe of the holy Ghoft. But I lift not here , to take off every ob- jection. I returne. Put cafe I fhould grant them their defire, that becaufe cozen germans are not named, therefore they are allowed , yet methinkes there be abundance of things which prudentially might move men to forbeare thefe mar- riages. Pirft , notwithstanding the long time that this Te- net hath porTefled the fpintsoffomemen, yet we fee, the blcmifh and crock of it is yet unwafht out , yea cleaves ftill and abides upon it. The mindes of men cannot yet put it on, as a garment fit for their back : ftill its a generally questio- ned thing amengthemoft, and even by fuch as are with much adce urgedto it by fuch as thinke they fee further then all men, yet fcarfe is the doubt exempt ©f out them,but they dagger. I make not this an abfolute reaibn , but a fufpition and prejudice agaioftit. And why fhould any man chufe rather endleffely to beat his braine to evince a thing of fo doubtfull truth, then yeeld to the contrary practice , which no man can doubt of? Is it not wifdome to dee that which is A Treat; ft of Marriage. 15 r, fafeftPCan faith and doubting (land together? Ana can that be done without finne which is not doiv^ in faith,but wave- ring ? Surely the Plaifter which men fluJy to make For toil fore,is far too narrow to cover it. Againe,the fcmplc b unremooved, what apudder doth it caufe among Gods pe ple,cfpecially what jealounV»eftrangement, and diilikesa- mong the kindred ? We iliouid aimc at all communion, not alienation. Beildes , when God hath vouchfafed (o great breadth and liberty, who fhould ftrcngthen himtelf by mix- ture ofbloud,and(«ts NicofrmtuLikh) going into his mothers woinbc , to be borne againe ? Not to ipeake of that oL vation,that Godhath not bleiledit with fiich encreaie/>r in- tegrity of affection. And its not ( to conclude ) among thole things that are pure, and of good report. .And furely, if this be a great reafon of unlawfulneffe of marriage betwe«ne degrees forbidden , becatife thereby that naturall honour and awefull efteone e( parents, and coniequently of iiach as are neere of kin unto them is imbef- ielled and violated ( for what is more repugnant to reflect and honour, then the familiarity of carnallcommixtion) then I am fure the realon holds as well betweene cozen germans as others of kin : for nature hath put as due and chaft a refpeel of honour betwene them, as betweene thole who are namely forbidden in Leviticus. But the former is avowed by many writers, one whereof I produce, Auguftirt his fpeech cU Civic "Dei, book 13. cap. 16. 1 know no: how it comes to pafle , that there is a kind of naturall inftincl in the modefty ofman,(and that praifeworthy,) that to whom- soever he oweth any iliamefalt and chaft Honour , for kin- dreds fake, from the fame perfon he reltraines d\\y marriage affection, which even the chaftity of marriage blu(hcth to violate. But to proceed, here is another queftiorj , wherein doth a contract differ from marriage , fince that the fubftancc of £mfl . 5 inatrimoniall union fUnds in the contract , what is there Wnennd more in marriage it felfc ? or what rcaions arc there foe Bfcooi diffolution of the one which are not for the other? Ian- marrll S* fwer. There is great oddes betwixt the ftrcngthofacon- ^. 4 r f Q 1 tract, J J 1 1 6 MAtnmoviAll Honour : or Gad is in a trad, and the ftrength of compleat marriage. For the contradfor ftrength of the former ftancis forcible by the private Con- good, and not f t fa . . j meane ^ ^ ^ Q d bc . tv:ll: but in ** ~ r l : 1_* L r & i «/■ m irriaoc whc- a contracl, yet fo, as the parties which conferred, may alfo ther good or diflent , when they finde that confent did hinder the private evili. good of their married eftate. Andfo, when it appeares , that the one partie is unqualified for the other through many evills, that break by after intelligence, then they that made it may breake; it. But marriage hath a ftrength by publique confei t of the law, and the cuftome ofmen,and therefore its alove all ftrength of private promifes : and admits no dif- folution ty private confents : The union of conrracfted ones 3 is an union of im.igination,or of afFeclion,fo long as its within fuch boundes : But the union of marriage, is an uni- on offtate and condition, ftanding in right, and law, above all private affection. If private contracts be broken off ( as they ought not without confent^here is private fatisfachon given to the parties : but if marriage be broken off, there is publique fcandall given beyond all fatisfaction. The re- gard whercf tieth the hands of married ones behind them from all liberty of confent to diffolve the knot : becaufe as it cohcernes the body of the ftate to fee finne punifhed , fo to fee good eftablifhed, when it may be fo. YoxmMofcs One is better ^ s tnTi e 5 the hardnefle of mens hearts was fo great,that they •fpoiied thca would be curbed by no law , each mans will was his law. U; :/. But now law having got the upper hand, mens wills muft fribmk : becaufe better it is that one couple fuffar, then the la w, which is the bond of publique peace and welfare.. So that this airhoritie looks not at mens private contents, or difcontems : But makes a voluntary confent, which might havebeeno broken, to become neceffary, and irrevocable : And whereas its inftanced (^as before ) in the point of corn- par iion of mcorfcinency commit ted before marriage , ( not knowne till afcer) with that in marriage. I fay, I deny notbutfoimerly and really both ought to diffolve it by the word, yet (as before I noted) the wifedome of the Church, putting difference , is to be regarded s neither is the finne (in every degree) fo extenfive. In this cafe therefore, that A Treatife of Marritgc. i \ 7 thatipeech availes. : Better admit a mifchiefc, then an m- convenience. Better pulldovvne a (making chimney, then admit a contiriuail fmoake in the eyes : io, bett< r endui e a bad marriage ( which is the lefter ) then a breach \ and ri^hr , which is the bond otthe whole body. Be before marriage, the deferring of the one party , i iferresa Bberty to deiert another s the forfeit ofthetime marriage, by the errour of the one parry, may ( narn- agejitfelfejinthe willofthe other. Suchapo tion promir led b) parents in fraud , and after with ira /nci jurioufly, ddVolvcs the marriage,b ca f. its lucha rank a$o >pofeththc condition of the rirll confent. The like i may lay ofariy the like violations, which yet, after marriage it fclfe hold i:or. But le r me not berniftaken in what I nave faid : I would not be thought to make promifes of no value, becaufe 1 make man age afgre elt ftrcngth and vcitue. '■ o\ although we have a uile, that is, in the lame pow . r to , reakc a law , that firft made it : yet it holds norm contracts, without 1 c ciall warrarr. Not each pretended iuddaine impotencie ot body, not each fuborned infamous Bander of the parties , or either of them, not every dcV.lcd fum-llam of a giddy braine muft be accepted to make a fpoufe breach: (for what were this, but to open a wide doore to allbalenefle , and to expofe the h wes of God and man to open contempt and mockery? ) But fuch cafes as I have mentioned, ifthey can be fufficiently approved to thofe who are the witnelYcs or the contract , io that all doubt of treachery and falihood be taken away , then i:s free for the contraelea parties to defift ifthey will. Howbcit, not without mutual! conlenc neither: Vor put cafe that one of the parties pretend debi- lity of body , yet the other party knowing her l'elfe to be in a way of God, and to be bound to truft God in his way, ei- ther for the recovery offtrength to tl/e weake partie, or for ftrength to waitcupon t^od in the way ofdifappointttent : fhall refufe to releafe the other : then 1 attune that other partie is tied ft ill by veitue of the^contra %,to mirry. Gods weakncfle is ftronger then mans (trength .is the Apoftle fpeakes. And whereas (commonly) rauonalnefle and wifc- Q^3 dome t 1 8 Mdtrimonutl H$mnr ; or, dome of the flefh dothftepin here (for Selfe ever croffes God) and fhall either out of difdaine, fclfe-love, feare, or other finifterrefpecls, fay : If hce will needs break off, let him ; if (he will needs break, let her. As good doe fo,as pro- ceed with difcontent. And it {hall be well feene, I fcorne him as much as hee fcornes mee. I anfwer : No, thefe are bafe trickes to ihake off Gods way : let that prevaile. But if the unruly party will depart, the innocent is difcharged to * marry another. .3* e J** I goe on. Another Qmrtmzy be , Why is there a fpace foiled 166 °r diftance ufually appointed between the contract and the iwlxTcontrs -ft marriage ? I anfwer : It is fit to bee fo, for this end among and marriage, others, that the parties might ferioufly and folidly, both a- &wfw* part and together,weigh and confider, what the bufineffe is, which they are entring upon : For being now contracted, and fetled in their afre&ions, from ftarting each from other, what remaines, but that both confpire to this end, that their knot may be as truly vertuous as it is neceffary : and that the neceflity of it may not prove tedious forlacke of vertue and Religion? If grace knit the knot, then they {hall bee as unwilling to be broken off> as the band of marriage makes them knit fo,as they cannot : when the ftrength of the ba-nd ftrives with the fweetneffe, how delightfuU is it ? And that it may be fo, both the parties {hould ;endevour , as in the laft ufe I ihallpreffe more fully. The fpace alotted them is not to prepare for fine cloathes, to bid guefts, to provide good cheere, nor (I fpeaketo the meaner fort) to fet themfelves to feeke the bed advantage of money at their offerings, to hire for themfelves a hole to thrufi: their heads in ; or a hrme to occupy. All thefe things(in a moderate way) are ufefull; But God is the God ©f fea and land, and all abundance and ftore is in his hand ; his are farmes and dwellings,and {beep and cattell, and the aeafures of the earth ; hee can give to whom hee will : a/id as lob fay th, although thy beginnings are but finall, yet hee can make thy increafe great in due time. Make thou no more hafte then good fpeed : Seeke tine Kingdome of God, and the righteouineffe of the fame, and make it not thy fokRine.care-to plod upon great matters, o r< to A Treatife of Marriage. 1 1 9 to enter upon marriage;with a feare of poverty, that thou and thine fhall prove beggars. Plod both of you how this io- lunne ettate may finde you well prepared ; and for ol things call your care upon him who careth for you ; and in weildoing,and meanesufing, commit your fclvcs into the hands of a faithrnll Creator, This worke would be done e- ven in the threfhold of marriage. But a queftion here (till arifcth , What fpace is mo ft con- Q venient for contracted ones to abide fo untill marriage? I IWiai (picz is anfwer, Neither fo large and long a fpace as might exceed he rrult ccn ~ and fhatter thofe affections which have been fetied, (o that v ' 'V 'V, r the panics fhould now ftagger in their ftedfaitnefle towards each other,and wax weary through the prolonging of time: Nor yet (on the other fide) fo £hort, as fhould hinder their feriousaddre fling towards marriage. Both extreames are tobeavoyded. for thefirft,we know in reafon and expe- rience,that when a contract lofes her tnds, through over- long protraction of time , it taxes the doers for their hifty attempting of that which might have better del lyed : occa- lions are given thereby to take offence each at either, that they fhould feeme formerly to make fure of that which late- ward they feeme but indifferent unto. Hence may grow fo- cret pritches and furmifes of heart, tending to breach and divifion ; andio worfemay follow, that the one waxing loofer toward the other then he to them, there miy feeme to be wrong received ; and fo the wronged party kearknirig tobadcouL.fcll, andconforting with company of ill note, may grow io fome new league, not only out of an unclean, but even a revenging difpofition, thereby procuring e- ftrawgement of heart, and irreconciliable difference. Now what a bafe and abfurd abufe of the ordinance is h^c ? ho w eaiily mteht wifedome have preventctl'all, in removing oc- calion of danger ? On the other tide, when the time is too fiiortj marriage ru filing rudely upon the Conn a& in ^n in- ftant, it defaceth the characters oi infl u lion, which fhouli have taken deeper imprcflion, and Jocrofleth the cnA of a contract as much (in another kinde) as :i* forme"; .a\ alfothe difcretionof the party io battening, in that he. I io Matrimomall Honour ; or\ ther d d no fooner move a contract 5 or in that he moved it at all : Por if there bee no difference betweene a prefent promife, anda promife fhortly to bee performed, t© what end is a contract, when onely marriage would ferve ? So that a middle fpace is beft : The I ewes at the firft aimed in their contract at tae ftfiking up and fe curing -thernfelves of the marriages ; and after, tooke large liberty ef a yeare , or halfe a yeare, for the c©rnummation. But after, they found they loft as much in the Hundred as they got in the Shire * and that hereby they endui ed great inconveniences , many moe things falling out between, when the cup and lip are fo farre aluiider : und io, amending their error, they grew to pitch a iliorter time.So that it mult be the diicretion of t man which mud herein moderate ic : I would think a mat- ter of a weeke or ten daye a compleat fpace ; but becaufe occaiions may to fall out by abflnceand travell, that there is more prefent uie of the contract, then of *he marriage, and that for ietling of mtndes : and fometimes whe*i fpeed is intended, yet delayes fall out, therefore the due ends of •Contract and Marriage being obferved ? and good confedera- tions agreed upon by parties (who bell Know what fhould let then\ and what ihould fu ther them) it is to bee left to providence what fpace is moit agreeable. So much for this. Q»cft. Ano her queffcion by occafion hereof, may bee moved : wh r f • i What tf cither of the parties defile themidves by inconti- y dVnk it nencic before marriapc ? I anfwer, There need no doubt be fche before made what m luch a cafe ought to be done : for no doubt marriage ? the conti act ought to be broken off By the Law of God, it Attfa. was : ^ acn ^° Lri to tnc denier and defiled. This is not a place to determine whether that La w bee pofitive or perpetual! : But I fhould .count hhfn a greater foole then that Levite,who in fuch a cafe fhould not breake off his marriage, as wee fee in fojephs cafe of error about Mary 5 before hee knew the truth. But if it be demanded ? What if this treachery bee not knowne ere marriage perfected ? I anfwer 3 I hnow the judgement of Canomfts, and Popifh Cafuiftsis one, and Divines another. As touching the practice of our Churchy A Treat/ fe of Marriage. \ 2 1 its no doubt grounded upon better and wifer principles: not oneiy becaufe marriage came bctwecne the ael and the accufation, andfofeemes to diianull it (for who knowes not, that the root of it was errour ? ) But to make the ordi- nance of marriage more iblemne, and to teach people not cafily to admit of feperations, wkich I thinke is the caufe, why Divorces being once admitted, the guiltlefle party is prohibited the remedy of a fecond marriage j which being allowed by the Scripture,would not elic be forbidden now, were it not for the honour of marriage, and the oppofttion to Tc-wiih abufe (who ufed Divorces frequently ) left every lootc, idle perfon, having the liberty or a fecond marriage, fhould rufh upon the pikes of Divorce. Ar.d io (in charity ) its to be judged in the cafe of uncleanneflfe committed be- tweenc a Contract and marriage, that feperation is cut ofri not as if it were not according to the defert of the offender (fcritrauft have bin io among :he Iewes, as Mofes exprefiy fpeakes in that cafe, when the markes of virginity could not be poduced) but for the ftfeguarding,and foiemne efteeme of marriage, which oftentimes ought not to have bin., but being done, prevailes ; the honour of an ordinance, being cfteemed above the content of this, or that married perfon? This I thought good to fay of ihjs Quelf ion. As for more, its not now my purpoie : and,as for Divorces,I hope I ("hall eafily be pardoned, if I lay not any thing : its already faffi- ciently treated of: and, I being here oneiy tofpeake of an honourable Marriage, it would be as de^th in the po% it I fhould here come in with that, which of all other things is the moft abfblute oppolite and dishonour unto it. I chuie rather to end all with fome fhort Vie. And firft»iF yr e% j Contracts be fo uiefull ; this is rcpioofe to all fuch as deride of Re ' £ and vilihe this io ancient, fo ufefull an Ordinance or pra- u- ttiie of the Church : and thinke it fcrupulous, and fupernV ' r *- t Con* ous. Tufh, fay they, what a wafte is here of words ? mull we iuds - lirll many in the Lord, then aptly, and then be taught atone Contract, and then confiderof the wtight thereof? here S precifenefle indeed; doe not others as well without it ; I warrant you,U once married,you will be furc enough with- in out 122 MAtrimniaR Htnour : or, outthisadoe! Somewhat like Chrifts Difciples, Iftkisbc the cafe betweene husband and wife, its better not to med- dle at all. So fay thefe, I had rather live fingle, then make fuch a ftirrc I But I anfwer thefe two wayes : firft, as Chrift anfwered them, No, faith he : Its not better not to marry at all : If any man can abftaineupon the gift of chaltity, let him : but all Cannot. So fay I, if it be fo eafie to take up a finglt life, you may : it were beft, no doubt ; provided that youmeane a (ingle one, and a chafte one alfo: for otherwife if you meane (as Papifts tell their Priefts, better a life of un- cleanneffe, then marriage) it were more defirable to live an unchafte, (ingle life, then to make fuch adoe, ere you mar- ry, I fliould greatly pity, but rather (harpely taxe you for your labour. For (to come to my fecond anfwer: ) Tell me I pray you, what thinkeyou of Marriage ? Is it a life of loofenefle,andoftheflefh? elfe why are you io loth to be well fitted ere you enter it? Surely, you mad know, that Marriage is rather a curbe to the rlefh, and a bridle fei ving to reftraine the loofeneffe thereof. And, doe you a#" ft, car- nall liberty in a condition of reftraint thereof? No,no -.ra- ther, if by any meanes, you might compaffe a cheerefull and contemfull marriage,thou fhouideft be glad to take the pains for it, and roll every ftone under which fuch happineffe might lye, and well too : what is a little paines for a parpe- tuailgood,and to friuna conftant mifery ? As Naamans fer- ■vams told him, If fo be the Prophet had enjoyned thee fome great thing,fhould(l thou not have done it,muchmore to wa(h and be cieane? So, I fay, if the fervice were farre greater, wouldit thou not admit that, when the fcope is,Mar- ry and bee happy? Oh, but is it enough ( fay thefe) that webeprecife m^worfhip, and religion, and in our confei- ence to God,, but we rriuft be fo ftiicl: ia marriage ? So ftricl: : how ftriJt ? wouldfi: thou not take as much paines for a pur- chafe ? Nay, for a good Horie,or a good Hawke ? wouldenV thou prefume both were good enough,if price enough were fet upon theii v heads ? Nofii'-e,but the rather thou wouldeft looke to thy bargaine. So doe here : thinke not a wife un- quedionabk becaufe of her price : enquire of her true value; when A Treat t ft of Marriage. i : j when thou art married , and artftung with his or herun- quictncfYe, unfaithfulneffe, lincleanhes, oh then 1 what in- junction fhould be put upon thee , which thou wouldft not yeeld unto , to be eafed of mch a burden , in a righc way > But I cannot promife thee thou dial: preVafle then , fo well as thou maid prevent it now. Doc as fome Gentlewomen doe, they will take no maids to traine, they will have them trained to their hand , or elfe none. What will not a foole doe out offeafonto (nunnc forrow, when he hith (marred, but infeafon , that he might not imart he will not ftirrc a joynt , nor wet his finger ? Tovcritiethat of Salomon. To the foole God gives toile and vexation for his portion , be- caufe he wil not be wile for his own cafe. But I have before purpofely handled this point , I willl trench no more upon it : So much for this life of reproofe. A fecond ufe then, ( to finifli all ) is exhortation to con- Ex Horciti n trafted couples to prife their contract for the ufe of it. I Contrafted fliall not need to joy themofit, that now they have their Couples pnfc defires accomplifhcd, ( that will come alone ) but, let it be jour conuraft their care, tofanclitie themfclves and their marriage , for time to come. It was the cuftome of the Church of the oldTeftament,to offer fa crifices to God upon folemu occasi- ons, as upon folemnc meetings of the family : when warres i. Saoxij.fi, were attempted, upon any fpeciallfervice of God to be per- formed, as fafting, thankfgiving, Sabbaths,, circumcifion of the children , recoveries from fickneflfe , enjoying of any blefllng, Htzfki* and Jonah deliverd, offered iacrifices,imdc fongs and vowes : Marriage therefore , being a fpcciall change of eftate, fuch as befalls once in the life, mould have no lefle folemne preparation, for entrance into it. The en- try of yongones into this condition, canriot but amife the thoughts , and poffeflc the fpirits and powers of the foule , more then ordinarily; ftriking jcaloufie into, themJeaO: their fucces fhould not anfwer their expectation, and they (hoald happy in each other. So that upon whom fhould all rJ this care and burden be caft 9 fave Ichova : who hath (aid to married ones as well as others, tnnotfttAg take thought) but hi all things Commending your ielves to God, by prayer and R : * thank*- 124 MsitrimonUlt Honour : or, giving : and, caft your care upon hin^for he careth for you : Let this be your care, even the psomife of God. Yea in the verfe immediately following this text of Marriage, the A- Hefe. ij. 5* poftle meets with this corruptions, in couples , let not your convention be in covctoufneffe, for he hath laid, I will not faile thee, nor forfake r hee. It is no eafie thing t© ftirre up a dead heart , to reflect medkitibnsofour future eftate t take this time therefore , no ic r L'lc twelve n o icths of the whole yearejthe daies of your entry upon ma; rage fhould be evenfuch-for looke how the conftifutiori and f< ame oitncm is,fo may you expect the time of your marriage Willbe,either for Godsuie and the honor ofy our marriage, or for your owne ends. Vfljbleft entrances have naughty n it, and keepe it fo. And it is a true tionofic. fpeecb, That it is no leffe vcrtue to keepe a mans wealth, namejor honour, then to purchafe them. lob tells u<, that God hath denyed wifedome to the Eftrich to looke to her egges,to hatch them when fhe hathlayd them : fhe forgets the worke of laying , and leaves them in the fand , for the feet of wilde bead to deftroy them. The Apoftle John wilLes 2. Iohn 3. that Lady and her children not to lofe the good things they had gotten , but to get a full reward. It had beene better , that fome had married with farre leffe fliewes of goodncfle, and hope of thrift, except they had kept it better : For there is nothing fo miferable as to have beene happy. The praiie of that gtfod womanin the Proverbs , is not , that fhe was Vjos. 1 3 . vertuous before entrance; no,it was her propfe and practice which made her honoured , and her husband in her. Many great Captairies have got a fudden crown upon uhcir heads; but they have died with a bare title , and loft it with more flume , then the glory came too which they got.it by. Its not fay d, that Zackary and Elizabeth were worthy couples in their entrance ; buc both in their married courfe, walked with God. i^/doth not bnely teach married ones to bee gamed in the Lord, and no more ; but how to live together and A Treat: fe ofMarringe. n-j andmaintainc c on jugall affection, and to keepe that knot, by fubjeftion, companion, tenderneffe, and fcithfullncffc : Rert not in this , ( as fome Scholers doe ) that their na arc up, and then fill to idlenefle, and prove dunces : So ma- ny couples are like the Image made of gold in the head, (liver in the bread, but worfe and worfe downevvard. They would have their marriage beare up it felfe, whereas that is, asfheisufed : if (he be riot cautioufly obferved, (he will take a tetch, depart, and carry her honour away , fomc huf- bands and wives, trnough the flighting ofreligion,as think- ing it needles to acquaint trumfclvcs ivithG©d,(as Job faith) in all their complaints , wants , and dift empers ; others by loofeneffc of heartin company, vh reof they make butJunal] choice; others pampering with eafe and wan- fcenrieflt , lying open and ha i iifpected enemy : ioone blaft that honour of the ir m image* which at thehrfl they feemed riotaiftionoural le io enter upon. And others have done the like,' y improvidence, by needleffe meetings, gainings, or the like idle courfe, others little obferving each others temper, and fo preventing many dif contents : others alio by prefuming to find at the hands of another more ret pec*t and affection : or expecting greater wealth and eQ l then they found, grow to diftates and debates - f then to leek ftollen waters, as weary of their owne cifternes : And 1 1 upon growes a decay in their eftates, difcredlt among Lich as efteemed well of them, poverty, and impnfonment, fc ration from each other. And , what is all this, fa ve to caft their crowne into the dirt, andtoprophane it wilfully? whereas, had they reiigned up themielves and the fiicceffe of all their hopes to God , walking faithfully and rant both with him and t hemic \y es , humbled the (elves and fubihitted painfully to their callings ofmagiftracy miniftery , or private life, without ambitious reat< matters above them. they might have kept then ceo vie and garland frefh and green : yea lurel)»hid they fa th' mklves to embrace thofe graces of God in each panic to winne love and amity betweene them , bearing with infirmities, and covering them with tendernefTe : how Bounding h id their i*8 MatrimoniAll Honour : or. Honour of rr,arri"ge to b- n Grvcd, pmly by the pint ids of. bothjind parr ]y by the feve- rall ads of each parcy. Joint i€is of the married fowrc. Jo'ntncs in worfh.p i rrainpreferv nve of hono rabte marri- age. their head and honour continued without fading-, even to this day ? But, it (hall be enough in this place to touch only in the generally upon the equal! necefiity and coherence of this fecondduty, with the former : for all luchas would preferve their honour inviolable. That which I (hall fur- ther fay hereof, may more feafonably come into the ufe of tr aft difcourfe which fhall enfiie , after we have cleered the point it felfe ; which becaufe its large , and will colt confl- deration, let us enter upon it. It may then be demanded , wherein this art and skill conuTts, of laving this honour of marriage founfteined? The anlwer is, it (lands in two forts of duties ; whtrcof, the former fort , concernes both husband and wife jointly and undividedly to practice : The latter concernes each of them in feverall , the husband apart, and the wife apart. Let us then begin with the former. Thole duties which concerne bothequaly are foure.F:rfr # JoinmevTe in religion; mutuall love; like loyall chaftity : and futable conlent. Touching the firft of religion : my meaning is, that, as they are entred already with a religious fpirir,inro /heir marriage, fo they muft continue:not only to berelig ojs ftil,but o cleave mutually together in the praft- ife ©fall inch meanes of worfhip, and duties of both tables, as concernethemjl fay,in the parts of religious converfation to God. Moreplainely,firft that they be joint in the worfliip of God publiquely, both ordinarily upon the Sabbath ( and occafionallat other times and feafons)as alfo extraordinary: The word muft be heard by both jointly, Sacraments mutu- ally received , prayers frequented , and all the worfhip at- tended. Secondly family duties , concerning both them- felves and their children and fervants , as reading of the Scriptures , conferring of them , prayer and thankfgiving : exercifing thofe, whom God hath committed to their care, in the principles of Godlinefle , and the feverall duties of inferiors : The husband being the voice of God when they i are both together; touching which , more fhall be faid in the feverall offices belonging to the husband. If he be ab- fent , and there be no man or better fulticiency to prelent , whom A TrtMt/fe of Matt i age. 1:9 whom both of them allow of, then ought the wife to dis- charge the duty , as hereafter fhall appeare. Thirdly, and more efpecially thole feverall duties of worfhip, whiclun prirate and apart from the other family do concerne them : which although they ought to perfonwe alone alio , yet not alwaies,but jointly and mutually : as to conferre,read,pray, confeffc, and give thanks, fourthly, they mud be joint, in the duties of charity to the poore,harberouihes to ftrangcrs, relicfc of other bothpublique caufes and private perfons, whom by occafion , God orfereth to their regard. Fifthly , that mutual!, harmony in all religious rclations,both toward s thcmfcWes, as inftruclion,reproofe, advice, admonition , or encouragement; or elfe others,in the Communion of Saints, ( of which rcadc more at large ia my Catechifme , Pare 2. Artie 4. ) or elfe in their gcnerall, and exemplary convcr- fation, in the fight of the world, which, when it is raituall , is refcmbled in the glafle of each others practice, but if not , then loofes her beauty as we fee in the oppoimon which the holy Ghoft; makes between^ aAbi£ail and Ttybal in that point. i.Sam. if, E're I anfwer any queftions about this , I muft ground and proye it hyrcafons and Scripture. For the latter, it needs not many proofes. That, of thefe two worthies Lhc. x . 6\ may be fufticicnt, of Ztchary and Elizabeth, that, both were upright before God, in ill the Comma ndements and ordinances of the Lord,without reproof e. 1 n which fen- tcnce,moft ofthofe ^.particulersnamed before,arc touched. That of the Apoftle may be added,that they defraud not each othcr,cxccptinthccafeoffafling,lcafl:(laithhcJyoLirpraieis be hindred : that is your joinr communion in religious wo. - iliip. Now, if there muft be fuchan entercourfe in extraor- dinary duties, how much wore in ordinary 1 ? But itsc ed , that ZachAry cap. 1 2. bids them in their deepe humi tions, to be apart; this fecmes to contradict j dni aniwer. The phraie is not to be exclufivel; . thai they thould alwaybe apart; for the Prophets I words, is, that there be lingular nprightjieflc in their hu luuons , for which c aufe he en j 1 a e s S m< 1 30 MatrimonUll Honour : or, mournes truly who mourn es without witneffe, but this cxr eludes not joiiuncffe in other times and cafes , becaufe fer* vency being as well required in them, as fincerity which is more ftirred up by mutualudfe , it is meete they fhould bee mutuallin that refpecl, as apartin the other. So that, thefe two ( as occafion differs) exclude not each other. Re afons of And there is fpeciall reafon of this duty : For firft , Go4 joint religion is not now the God of them apart, as before, but jointly, as of coupks. married: of them I fay , and of their feel : and therefore Reaf.u noWjGcdmuft be fought jointly by them both, not ©nely in God is ■ l! £ !r feverali, as in their former eft ate. mutua IG,. Secondly, .the good things which they receive from God Beau-ie the though they pertaine to their feverall happineffe , as their grace of each &ith, hope, knowledge, yet they reach to the furtherance of furthers both, each others grace ; if they be bound then, to trade with the whole body of Communion, for theincreace of grace,how much more one with another ? <* Thirdly, whatfoever they enjoy, good or evill, in a ma n~ They en j«y all ner they enjoy it in common : Their finnes are common: things both (God may punim. the one in the other) their gifts and graces good and bad are common, ( both bleffed for the others fake ) their infir- an common. m { t } es are common, ( each being a fellow feeler of the o- ther) their blefiings, as health, wealth, fucceffe, arc com- mon ; their calling and bufineffe common, tending to the common good of them and theirs : their erodes common , yea their punifhments, their pofterity, their dwelling, their friends are common : Shall their God then bee feverall ? Shall their religion and worflaip bee disjointed ? No, fure 1 mutuall wants and needs, muft unite and reconcile them to one God with common confent Fourthly, Religonis the golden Cement of all fellow* . . 4 {hips,and unions,ooth to knit,and to fan&ifie the fame more Gemem oVaU 6 rme ty anc * dofely together. That union , which is not fellowship. ' &u s fattened, is but as the union of thofe foxes , backward , by firebrands in thehrtailes, foone diffolved, and very hurt- full. The I ewes have a pretty obfervation upon the Ebrew nanae of the woman , the firft and laft letters whereofmake up the aarne lab 3 God ; which if they be taken from the middle A Trettife of Marriage. 1 ; i middle letters , leave all in a combnflion , for they fignife fire. If God indole not marriage both before and after, ,ind be not in the middefl: of it , by this band of religious feare ; marriage is nothing faveafkc: a contentious and an nn- peaceable condition : But this confent of both in the Lord, is the moil firmc and blciled of all. Thofe tearmes are ever flrongeft and beft agreed, which agree in the beft third, or couple. Now the Lord is the belt , and the fa fed band. What a 1 weet glade is it for husband and wife to fee each others face, yea heart in,to be acquainted with each others graces, or wants^to be a (lured of each others love and loiafl aifedion, then to looke how they (band affected to the band of their union, I meane fellowship in religion, faith, hope, and the fruits. Fifthly , let us examine this truth, but onely in one prime - and chiefe acl of religion, and that is faith in the alfurfici- From one in- encie of providence : and that will teach us the reft. What fiance, viz. is the married eftate, fave a very Itage of wordly care to acl :h 5 ir n <^ ( &*1 her part? Single perfons never come to underftand what ot [? :nctrul * care meanes,till marriage comc.Thats the black oxe which m treades heard upon them. How fhali this tread be borne,cx- cept faith in the promife ad another pa:t , of holy cirelef- nefle ( I meane in point of carking? ) Surely,as the fafhion of fome countries is to hang up a care-cloth in the Bride- chamber, to coole the heat of other affections in the mar- ried , and to put them in mind what an eftate they are en- tringupon ; fo, well may this cloth of care ever hang in their chamber, except faith take it downe and fatten their care upon him that carcth for them, cutting cffall (iiperfluos carking. Now this grace belongs jointly to both of them : not only to the husband , who foilowes tke world hard to plcafe his wife ; but alfo to the wife, who ( as the Apoftle faith ) is as ready to pleafe him. Whaf/a gulfe of care doc bothimplunge themfelves into, except the Lord vcuchafe them his antidote? What craft , trickles, cooienages, de- ceits will they not find out, tofcrape ahd rake together , all being fifla that comes into their net? What clamors, dis- contents, and brawlcs will arife, if defeated of their wills ? S 2 What l?2 IdAtrwtiMAli Uentur /or, What brferieffc will utter it felfe, upon any other cxpences, then expected ? But let the Lord be their portion,rockc,and defence, and what can diftracT: them : Howfweetly will both draw in this yoake, if, as they have made God the God ©f the hilles/o they can make him of the vallies/L meane,the Ged of their bodies as well as their (oules ? Now, if this one joint gift do fo runne through all their life , what will joint confent in all graces do, as hope of falvation, fitneffc to die, mercy and companion, love,f eare, meekncffe, and the reft ? All which in their kind , under faith, ferve to furnifli the married condition with conteatment and welfare. Nothing hath Sixtly and laftly ,what can fo affurcdly bring in blefling to fuch bk-ffi ig tne bodies, fbules, pofterity, families, and attempts of each annexed to it. Qt ^ er>as joiutneffc of religion? when both arc agreed of their verduict, and one buildes up as faft as the other ? when no fooner the one enterprifes any thing , but the other joincs in a commending it to God , for bleiling. They not daring to goe to worke in an unbleft way, without God. That no fooner they fpie an infirmity , much more a corruption in each other, but they referve it for matter of humiliation , a- gainft next time : No fooner they meet with a mercy > but they make itmatter of thanks, keeping the Alter everburn- ing with this fewell and Sacrifice : What a fweet deriva- tion is this to both , of pardon and blefling ? Wkat a war- rant is it unto them both , that each fhall fhare in all good , when as both doe equally need it , fo each feeke it of God ? When God is made both of Court anil Counfell, privy to all doubts , feares and wants of both , what can fo affure them of an happy condition, when cenfuring, condemning, or quarreling each with other, is turned i to a mutuall melting in Gods bofomc, for the greefs and complaints of one ano- ther : when ii> Chrift their Advocate they fandifie all to themfelves and make all things pure to them, bed , board , love, croffes, mercies, which elfe to others are uncleanc , ;- and defiled. This fonReafons. A question here otters it felfe, if the grace of the married mull be joint, what is to be laid when the husband will not concurre with the wife, or {lie with him , in fuch duties of piety Alrcatiftof Mvn.i ,-. [33 piety or mercy , as doc mutually concerne th*m ? Muit (he then dcfift, for lacke of jointnefle ? I anfwer : The quelHon Qttfl. were much harder , if it were mad« of fnch an husband , as ■,-, iu not onely doth not concurre actually with the wife , but is one pin contrarily minded unto her. I will therefore frame the an- fwer to both cafes : I lay then that the wife may fupply the lhe c defect of his non-concurrence with her , in thele ads of re- AfifiP* *ligioB,or charity. For why ? his defccl of joining,although it may hinder the grace of the duty, yet it mult not hinder the cflence of performance : better is it, that God be ferved, ,in prayer, in teaching the family, training the children; that the poore be relieved, and good done, as it may be, then not at all : Not onely becaufe the defect may pollibly pro- ceed in the man rather from impotency , and wcake neffe : in which rcfpeel, the wife making fupply ( especially being eminently better fitttedthen other women are) doth as k were, obtaine acceptarce of both, as if both could joine,and the husband could bee the mouth of the woman to God. This being provided, that her gifts conlift in an humble rao- defty , as in other (urflciency. But befides alfo , though the husband be oppofite to good himfelfe , yet if he connive at good iw her, (he muft not under any pretext, detract the du- ty frwn God , by his lewdneffe , 'and incurre double wrath from God. Nay I adde further, although he be aclually op- pofite , that is forbid it to be done , ye» as the cafe may re- quire, through neceflity of prefentmif erics, (he is bound to if ep out from her ordinary courfe , as Abigail did in Ntbals defperate abandoning of 'Davids fervants. But I wifli the Reader to fufpend iiis thoughts awhile , till 1 (hall findc I ter occafion to treate of this anfwer : which will be ai ward, partly in the dutie of the husbands undexftanding, partly of the wives iubjection. Here therei. touch it. Vfe* 1. I proceed to the ufe,as 1 began. And that is proof Ri of a foolifh contrariety of couples in this fwii] ' be religious in marriage , but I 1 they were™ before : they will got apart by thenifelres , and kverally ; but, this jointnefle of worship, they abhorrc , as too ftricl lS a a." S 3 and 1 3 4 MAtrimom&ll Honeur : or, and needlefTe : They will grant that they mad read , pray, conferre , but it muft be as formerly , either apart , or vvitk other company ; but as for imparting themfelves to each o- ther,they arc loth to utter their ignorance, barrenneile,^in- croundedneffe in the principles, or their fpirituall forget- Fulnefle, unthankfulnefle, lukewannenefTe , efpecially the defeft in marriage duties each to other. Thefe they are a- fliamed to make each other privy to. God onely is (they thinke ) meet eft to be acquainted with them : Why ? are you fuchflrangers ? Were you not as able before marriage , as now, to doe this ? Are you now in no deeper relations , then before ? Then you could not, but now you may doe o- therwife,and will you not doe it ? I cannot better defcribe the folly hereof, then by the fondnefTe of fuch wives , as when they fpeake to their husbands, they call them by tkeir names, or place , Mafterfuchaone, ovjolra, Richard , &c. fo, as any other might call them, as well as they , or as they might call them, before marriage. Surely the name of your relation, husband , or wife , I thinke , were fitter for them then common names. The like I fay here , fuch a religion ( I trow ) were fitter for you,as might beft agree with your neere union; and not fuch as any unmarried perfonmay enjoy. Woe to hirs,that is alone faith Ecclefiaftes, for, if he fall who fhall helpe him ? And , to one , how fhould there beheate? ( he meanes of generation) But, two are better then one : how doth this agree with the courieoffuch? They are alone 'even w r hen they are two : and they are two (divided) when they fhould be as one. Surely if they Ihould chime power in feverall over their owne bodies, or power to have a feverall purfc , oraftocke going apart, it were leffe finfuii , thenthustonourifha worfhip of God , wholy apart from each other. May any ib fitly joine inmutuall confeflion or thanks as they , who have but one God , and can ( as one foule in two bodies ) feliow-feelc , and com- panionate each others cafe as his owne ? Is there any rent fo bad , as in a femeleffecoate ? What can this divifion fa- vor of, but pride, fingularity , felflove ? Or how would the dcvilldefire to rule, rather then by this liberation ? I aske, doll A Trcdtift of MAtringc. i 3 5 doft thou hold thebody,or the body thee ? And, whom hur- teft thou herein* fave thine own body and foule,by refilling fuch a fuccor? Wouldeft thou not think it an unkind nefle in the heart and liver , if it would keep in all fpirits and bloud within thunfelves , and rranfmit none to other parts ? Muft it not threaten (as he laid once) putrifadion and obftrufti- on to theinf elves ,and ruine to the whole ? So much for this firft - Secondly, this reproves all fuch couples, as are rather 7?* 1 ? J ' backbyaics'each to others in the matters of God, then hel- " ^h otHcr in pers either hi ordinances, or duties. Such as, when family fu:h joint re- duties are called for, either by husbands,or wives, then they i g.o yc be lay lotas in each orhers way , then of all other times , their "^d. bufinefle fticks to their ringers, then they have moll irons in the fire to attend , errands abroad , or children within , to runne upon, to dreffe : Ir private duties be occasioned, much more awek and untoward they are : If any duty of com- panion, and mercy offer it i elfe, viliring the iicke , compel- ling of the diftre fled , helping of the needy , come in their way, they lowre , and erode it , difimy each other from it. Nay, and yet prof effe to be religious neverthelcile. Oh wo- full ones 1 Is this your content ? Doc you thus honour your marriage ? Did you enter it with fome opinion of religion , and doe you thus promote it ? Is it not a fweet noft ^y for you to imell to, to heare your husbands alledgings,this duty, Sabbath, Sacrament, Vaft, had beene done, fancied, en- joyed, had ft not thouhindred ? Take heed,God will not be mocked ! If this be done by the religious, what (lull the ir- religious d©e ? If this be done in the greene tree, what (hall be done in the dry ? Thirdly,it reproves all fuch as bafely reft in tlie religion of Brmtch 3 . eachother,thoughthemfelveslooke after none. Many wo- ? BC ' I *J men good for nothing but drudgery, yet have a Conceit their m c o'hcri husbands praiers, their zealc and holmes (hal ferve then turn, c j/ ' and under thatrotten rag^e,thcy irmW tbemfelves. No,no, this plaifter is too narrow for the fore: If each party will f the better for other,both muft combine,both muff pray,faft, fanclify their bleflings and erodes , wives muft not plod for thek t , ^ MatriwonUH Htmnr : or, their childrens backes and bellies , leaving the care of their foules and good government to their husbands. What is this, but to be a true fiavc , but an unfaithfull wife ? Rather fay thus , husband , I have a part in them, as well as thou, lure I am, they have received as machof old Adam from me, as thee : Oh, that I had as carcfull a (pint to traine them up, as thou. So in other parts of duty , reft not either of you in others religion, being barren your felves , for each tub (hall itand on his owne bottome. The goodneffe of one (hall not be imputed to other ; but the foulc that finncth ftudl die. Take heed left it be verified, two {hall be in one bed, the one taken, the other refilled I As God hath made you for mar- riage to bee one rlelh , fofee that by grace you bee one fpirit. Mmied psr- fourthly, to thefe may be added the prepofteroufneffe of fens who for- ^ uc ^ cou pi e s, as are then fa fell:, when as they forfaking their f ■Uowfli t ° Wn bofomefellowiliip, runne into the company ©f Grangers, to ud°i wins to converge with : to them they impart their marriage difcoa- firai gers, tents, crave counfell, advife from them, betraying ( by their Uuliy. practice) their j^usbands to bafe report ; all, and more then all their griefss they powre into ftrange bofomes, refuting their owne, who are much better then thcmfclves, and then its bed done, when moll: privily , and furtheft from their husbands notice : But they may never heare of any thing from them, except with up brading and difcontent : They muft either heare of it from ft.rangers,or not at all.- Oh,how many of thefe houfewives have deceived both Minifter , friends , and husbands by their fubtilty ? till afterward their finne betray thcin, whatmettall and ftampe they are of 1 The truth is , their love is unlound , their hearts turbulent ,. their tongues querulous and clamorous -.But-if their husbands be taken from themyand their eieferes remooved, then religi- *" bus per tons, and the Minuter fhall no more heare of them • their hearts are upon new liberties , ail their gronings are vanilht, and the ne^t ifiasband ( though leffe religious then the former) pleafeth them better, Oh wofull hypocrites, thus to colour over a io:ten heart, with religion complaints! God {hail meet with you, inyourkindc , and make your felves A Treat/ ft $f Marriage, I ; 7 felves at laft yourowne judges, when his plagues cea/e up- on you I repent beforehand , and prevent them, if you bee wife. Your finncis hereby worfo then others, who perhaps* of meere ignorance neglect this duty , being otherwife ho- nelt : To whom I give this caveat , let your finne this day come to your remerjru ranee , amend it , and the good Lord regard not , but pafle by your former errors upon your Re- pentance. As for thofe couples who are both agreed in their grace- rf c l • lefle contempt of this duty , as they alio are \n all ordinary worfhip or. God , they belong not to this place, I have be- fore fpoken to fuch in the point of unequal! watches ; They ( of all others ) are furtheft off, icr them prepare to make anfwer to their Iudge » who being commanded to honour their marriage with mutuall religion , dare mock God thus. Indeed in one fenfe it may be faid,they are equally religious, for the one hath as much as the other, neither barreli better herring, for both are profane, and as they entredibthey continue. Well, God could have promoted you to fome honour ; but your felves have chofen fhame, he hath po wred contempt upon you,thankc your felves .„ Thirdly, thisteachcth us the true caufe, why fo many J^ { - '* . couples leade a fad comfortleffe life : fome cry out, they can „ ■v'3^. . have no peace one with another ; others, that they thrive nnprofpsrom not, cannot be well reported of , or, their children difquict ftl « of many them : God is a^ainft them, nothing profpers : Alas ! what C0U P I( "S ,s > wonder ! God is the iaft end or your thought , he is not let * J ™ j rtu " up in your married eltate ! he isthruftout into thebacke roome ; who yet fhould be all in all , chiefe in your (bulls, prayers , family , woi fhip , hec is nothing at all , and is it ftrange nothing goes forward ? How (houid it ? Surely if it fhould ( as perhaps fome as bad as you thrive ) I (nouU thinke he meant to dtftroy you ! 13 ut now , lince he fends this Baylirfe to arreft you, and iilles you with adverfity,! hope it is to bring you to a parlee (as Absalom in burning 'ftcebs barely ) to provoke and ftirrc )\\\ up to lay hold upon him, in due fcafon ! Bethinke your lelves, lit hun up better, honour him, and l;e will honour you, but if you diilionour T h on, 3 3 g M ' 'trimozUll Honour ; or, him , he will ( as Samuel told ■£// ) lightly efteeme of you : Prevent it in time , eaxe he come upon you worie ; he hath hitherto beene onely as a rnothe,and deftroied your beautie, but he can teare you in pieces as a Lion , ifyou looke not to it I picke out the lecret canker out of this apple, elfe it will comume all : And this I adde, although you fh ouldfwimme in all welfare , and prolong yourdaies, if this be all your mourning,for corne andoyle,it ftiallbe given you as a curfe: ifyou fee not Gods meaning, and honour not your marriage, by refigning up your Crowne , and cafting it at Gods feet, depending upon him for blefling; you malldie difhono- rably , and live without comfort : its not all the wealth you have (hall helpe you to joy, but rather as quailes (hall all come out at your noftrills,and leave you defolate. yfe 4 . Fourthly, let this be exhortation to all good couples, who Eihorutioii ftare God, to be j oint in their religion together. And here to all g oJ give me leave to fpeake a word or two of fome particular couples to be dutiesiand then of your generall converfe.Touching the for- j'untinthei* mer $ i wou i^ touch thefe two , the one touching family re igion. -worfhip , outward,the other touching that grace mentioned in the fourth reafon before , I meane faith in Gods provi- dence, which is inward. I begin therefore with this. Con- fider both of you, there is but need ofit , in this your courfe of wordly dealing: moft couples are met to encreafe carking Both inward, anc [ diftruft, as much raine to make a torrent. The Devill fhflike! willfoftuffe and rill them with carking and covetoufneffe , their o wne bafe hearts fet upon the creature,- will fo inflame them > the error of the wicked will fo pollute them through luft, by their cut fed example , that many who met together in hope to become Saints , after they are met, proove little better then difguifed heathen:. Well might the Aporcle joine the caveat of marriage here, with that of covetoufheffe in the next verfe : and marke his phrafe, let not your converfation be in covetoufneffe : the words are , roll not ( as the doorc upon her hinges) in the love of filver : his meaning is this, marriage is a rolling uV and downe from one carnall bufines to another : the calling, the looking to children, buying in 9 paying out, flocking the groundes, raifing of commodity thereupon^ A Trcattff of Mdrristge. thereupon, going out and in, and walking in a round oftho world; nothing L At lcurfling and (huffling to get and fcfape except there be this gift of faith to feafon the heart- in all this orbe and round : to fettle it in the center of provide tofweetenit with affiance in God. Alas, elfcallthequefti- ons will be, how fhall thefe chargabe lervants be Fed ? how iliall all thele debts be paid ? what lodes are here in our cat~ tel? how poore are our takings in our mops ? our trades are mean,our children are many,what(hall we eate, where- with mall we be cloathed > Alas, little thought I at firft. en- trance , that marriage had beene of this die , I thought all had bcene white and faire : now I fee corne, cattcll , hus- bandry , houfewifery , all lies at the curtefie of mercy > the ftocke is out, and except God blefle it , may never come in againr, except God give fucccfle, good feafons ofweather, crops will faile, rents will be unpaid, and we may die beg- gers.What?didyou think marriage was but afon^a fport,an hony moene, or one daies j jllity ? did you not confidcr,that its a perpetuall exercite of faith, for your fclves, for your children, for your fervants , and bufinefTe ? If you did not 9 then learne wifdome now ; God hath fet you in it , to try you , what mettall you are made of : whether it will make you difniifed heathens,or gracious believers, who commend yourielves and all to God , Shutting up yourfelves in his Arke, that the floods of great waters overflow no*-. I cell you marriage is a ftage for faith to aft upon, to cA\ and ven- ture all upon him, who will care for you , ind promiftth to doe all your workes for you. Be therefore both of von juft befofe God , walkein this Command of forth , as well as any, yea this before any. Take no carkii lit how children flioulct be maintained , educated, ried. I r< rnot as one lately did: having oik forme bomc t he vowed be would have no more, whttfoevei it , for he meant to leave that child, all his eft ate , ( ji tl into what noilom. into ) and he would h I vc no more, to be I i , this Divtll of uulvlitfe were I 5 will make covctouihefle a vcnulliinne, ( T % ten ao M>AtrimteUk Htnowr : or, then the Pope makes it ) without faith. F ith the prin- Be refolvcd of it, faith mud be your onely heipe, to ftop crpallpiop of youfroondrovvninginthis gulfe. Eile no farme , oroccu- rbe manicd. pying will be great enough : you woukLthinke all your life but a moment , for the fatisfying of an kffatiable fpirit ? So many irons at once in the nre, till one marrc another , and overthrow all. Elfe,you will pick quarrels with your trades^ and be ready to forlake them , as faft as you embrace them , andfo wearie your felves with loffes, till ruined. Elfeyou will be fo fordid , ib pinching and bafe in your houfe keep- ing, fo fiibtile.f alie in your feiiings,you will gro w defrauders, oppreflbrs, uiurers, and cheaters, in your trafriqae and trades, fo eager in your toile , fo impatient of a defeatc , fo injurious and unmercifull not onely to your beafts, but even to your wives , felves , children , lervants : fo bafe in your works of charity , that both God and men Loath and be weary of you. What patternes of fuch married ones , doth almoit every towne afford ? And when God frown.es upon them, then they knaw their tongues for vex- ation and wax as profane in the virft Table, fcornersof worftiip, and Sabbaths, as before unjuftin the fecond. Ther- fore, live by faith both husband without, and wife within, this is a joint worke of both : (of your feverall duties I ftvall fpeake after ) doth gainexome in, and wealth abound ? Set not your heart upon it : be not giddie , wanton , fenfuall : faith abhorres fuch behaviour, and fettles the foule in a fober frame of thankfulneffc : doth God crofTe you ? Diftruft him not, de j eel not your hearts , God is able to fupply it. How elfe was < Z>^/^fupported,when not onely city and wealth, but alfo wives were carried captives? furely by faith he com- forted himfelfc in God , and recovered all. Am I in debts ? God will pay them : I came not into them by my (inne, but God brought me in, by providence : he therfore fhall bring me out : Have I loffes ? God wilircftore them as to fob : Am I ficke in body ? difeafed, husband and wife each lying upon others hand, threfttned by creditors, to goe to priion 9 fallen into the hand of a mercileffe Landlord ? faith will caft you upon a mercifull God : and although the common pro- verbc Infinite mile ncs of ihe mirried through '.he ciiaruit of Gods provi- dence. A Trcatifeof M*rrU?e, 141 verr-c is, faith will never buy corne nor cloth, s : yet do but improove it, and thou ilialt rinde, it: will be like Salomons (il- yer, and anhver all things , buy all niai quetS : Shefo \ tnalter who can mcllihe the hearts of the cruelleft enemy , will iooner fuller the Lyons to be badge rbit, then his po (hiftleffe Lamoes ro want : All the fillies in the fca ar- his , his arc all the ("heepe on a thoufand hills, all the mines of r«d and white earth, ail the mony in all men purfes: All things are Chriils , thou being his all things are thine , and (hallbc caft in as an overplus unto thee: rhou needed not fay , husband , w ift , we (Hail be deftroyed one day by this poverty ; therefore wee mutt fall to indireclcourlls , as o- thers, to bring in the penny : \o, let Atheifts fay thus, they who have a God to truft to, let them never difhonor hirn 3 by fuch doings : thereby making him their enemy , lcll they be compelled to fpcake for lomewhat. He that clothes the erafle of the field, and the lillifs , which neither labour nor Ipinnc, much more will doe for them that truft him ; you {erve no hard mailer, nor one, that needs your fune toferve his providence. This faith mud be 'Dominafac mum, ihe mufl do;: all and differ all, and carry all , ihe muft be the itir- ring hoofc wife ( oi elfe in vaine doe others ftii . e ) who can doe more with fitting ftill, then all others, though each finger were athumbc : By her therefore and her daughter patience pofleffe yourfoules, and commend your felvcs to him, who will effect your defire. This for the former parti- cular, for faith in the promife. The other particular is outward , which is the joint fer- Fjmi!:e ca- ving of God iii the family. Though both of you pray not , t,Ci v' n our houfe : Let prayer, reading, and o- go , , ( COU pWi ther worfmp hnnfellyour dwelling and fanctihe it, at your ro )o-ne in firflcntra cej id afterward feafon and iwecten it , and all, clofely, both perfons and things that belong to that : Leiallgoe under the ban. ler and protection of,pod by it. It mult be as the T-rnWe morning and evening lacrifice, what eife (o everyo-aadde thereto , youmay, but this mull be conilant. The holy Ghoftlovcs to honour this Sacrifice through the T 3 Scripture zqi Matrimomall Honour : or, Scripture 4 (Darnel would pray at the feafon of it, ElUh would offer his facrifice at that time , and fo the reft, And this Sacrifice made all the reft welcome,and bleffed, There- fore be joint in it ; begin not zealoufly at firft , and end in the flefh , which is the cuftome of moft couples. Lookenot afquint with an eviileye upon it,tocaftyour bufineffes fo un- happily , as to trench upon the feafon thereof : as if your hearts Yecretly grudged at God in it, and could fcarfe bc- teame it. Both ofyou be juft before God in it : driving who ftiould goe before the other in it ; be no fhare each to other not onely by your backwardneffe and murmuring atk , not fo much as in your indirTerency of fpirk toward it 1 leaft you defile each other by it , and fo you grow mannerly to put it offat'firft, and then by degrees by any trifling occafieuto out weare it. Know it, that by the defacing ef this, you out- weare all bleffing , and goe in the ro we of them of whom its f lid : pourebut thy wrath upon the families which call not upon thy name. Be very ferious to taske your {elves to it, to prefle each other not onely to a performing of it in general!, to fay a few pr*iers r , but to bee inftant, fervent, and conftant in it. The feafoning of your children, the awe and government of your fervants depends upon it s and where its wanting, both prove ruinous, and brutifh, befides the mifoy of the whole family condition. Vie all wifdome thou man 9 all prevention ana earelycare, thou woman, both without and within, that all buhnes and oecafions may be fet at a flay, and difpatcht *that this weighty affaire ftand not let for them. Be lure that thy heart fmite thee not oft in the day, when fhrewd turnes befall thy children, thyh©ufr is in danger by cafualty of fire , thy husband and thou quar- rell , or any other fad accident happen ; to fay , thefe ate , becaufe we fought not God this day \ therefore is this mif- chance befallen me in my cattell, or in my travaile , or by a falioffmyhorfe, or ill fucceffe in my bufineffe, or the like. Let not the coming ih of friends, ftrangers , break it off: ' fit not loofe to it, lead each toy uniettle itrAwe the family to. it, both joint in the drawing of your inferiors to reverence ic a left if forme and commone ones breake in, the next' nevves A Trettifetf M*fri ncwesbe/wearincffcymdfo breaking it off! And w i let (okmne calling of the cl ildiui an.i fci van bepradiicd. If you can poflibly let the morning r ; noonetide be your appointed feaion, Ml necefl u y ons deprive iomc , whom it concernes. Chufe it I el rfteales,ifit be poflif li : If the greatAefle ofhoufehold hin- der that, then take heed that droufrneflc , dumber, and the Divell let not in their foote to man e all, which for the molt part is the canker of molt family duties : which through cuftome is made nothing of, till it have caft out duty it (cite upon the dunghill. 1 ihail fpeakc more of the mans duty in ipeciali, afterward : this now I thought good topremile in gencrall. And this of thefe two particulars, of the $oint duty ^, ' Cl r ' ra of couples befaid. Now I come to the gencrall exhortation, WO fAp. and fo fmifh the Chapter. Let it be therefore exhortation to all good couples, to be Grafes why d mutuali in all religious duties, ordinances, and fervice offa>uldbc God. This will itrengt hen the wheele of marriage life, is the ftrong fpoakes in the cart wheele, (Irene then it , from crac- king,andfplitting.Live not like Grangers to God: for (o fhall you never be inward with each other : your life will waxe common and fulfome , part and fpent out in a ihiddo w and vanity, yea vexation of fpirit : and at your death , you fhall fay, alas we never knew one another truely. I dare not fhareyou forfetnefle of Canonicall hou;es , or for ortn ofduty : I leave that to your owne experience, who lhould bed know each others wants, or at lea t you to draw you to it. It is no: meet families be m v etothepn- vacie of their governors : it is the next Way to make them defpifed: its bed referring them to; oar owne iealbns : ex- cept your felves be the whole fan ■/ , for then the diffe- rence is taken away. Hay, thecu may bee fecret cafes , wherein even each partie nWy chufe iececie; in inch , be wife, and powre outyoir hearts to >od, a pair, asks like Kekccc* did in the (trife of her twins. There is a feafon for all things : and marriage fecrets are lacicdi be kept. Therefore I fay let this be he chiel marriage crownti fcarch out all thy corruption : na regifter 1 44 MatritnonUU H¬n : or, regifter of all favors of God, which God hath granted to G / e 3? c "oirt t ^ iee ' anc ^ t0 1 ^ W ^ e * n common * ^ uc ^ ^ at tne " me °f re * wcnfiupl ~ ce ^ vln &» kerned molt pretious,and might ill have bin fpared : marke how the Lord hath gone before thee and ordered thy converfation ; confider together how happily, and yet per- haps hardly you met in marriage : what found love , and covenant the Lord bred at firft in you : how they have fince held firme ; and although many things have come in to weaken them, yet they have not pre vailed. Confider how your hearts are drawne daily each to other : calmcthyour unquiet fpirits , ( which otherwife would not keepe com- pare ) fo that you looke not each upon the other with the eyes of Serpents, but of Doves. Obfervc how Sabbaths and Councils a- Sacraments are blefled , how your faith and peace growes , bout ir. y QUr f eares decay, how your corruptions are purged ; what dangers in body , ftate, children you avoid ; and what for- rowes, which comber others, you are free from : alfo what fucceffe in your childrens tra&ablenefle , and towardneflfe : what faithfulneffc and fubje&ion in your fervants, (for is it not God, who makes many flout ftomackes of both fexes, fubjeclto weake governors? ( as c David faith ) how your fellowfhip with the good encreafes , what new bleflings are fallen upon you , in perfons, names, trades, pofterity : Mai ke alfo well, where Satan moft infulteth, and where the hedge is loweft with you : what corruptions (as old fores ) brea ke out in their feafons , which yet feemed to be quafht before; what luftes of the heart,luft of the eie,or pride of life bubbles up from within : Looke not each into him or her ielfe, but each into other, as having intereft deeply planted ; yet doe it not with curiofity but fimplicity : By this meanes both abundant matter and manner,as oile to the lampe,will offer themfelves to nourifli this ordinance ; all luft of (loth 9 all ruft of eafe, wearineffe will be filed off. And a free heart to make God the umpire of your differences (if any be , as how can it be avoided , but a roote of bitternefle within , will leffe or more brea kc out ) the compofer of your hearts , the granter af your requefts , and the gracer of your marri- ages will be obtained. And feare not, left this courfe fhould in A Treat iff of Marriage. 1 4 5 in time wearieyou, or alienation each from other fhould grow , to diftaft this duty ; for the Lord who hath founded ir, will owne it , and can blefle it , and keepe out diforder ; and the fweet fruic of this fervice, will fo both pr. vent , at- tend and follow you , in all your waies, that you fhall reele your It Ives to walke each before other, and both before Cod, leifc loofely, morefoundly and fafcJy : For why? how can it otherwiie be, when both of you remember whom you ufe to goe to, ( as tothe oath and covenant) both in yoiii confeflions, on which you tliame your (elves for your fa) lings, and in your requ< its, craving pardon and purging, and where you have done wel,t o praile him for fupport,and to be thankful! for that adminiftrttion and protection of his, under which(ishis beloved )you havebin, all the day long. I conclude therefore, goe 10 God mo:c j jintly then ever; hold , and pull more hard and clok together , fo oft as you Bxhorcat ion goto the throne ofgraCc;e(peeially,whenas with that good w private tii- factb, you are reioived not to ceafe wraitling till you be p FC ? ;vu ' 1 ble/fed : compell him to lend you away with yourrequeft, elfeyou cannot beanfwered. Goe by a promife m your Ad- vocate, and fay, now Lord,this new ft \tt or ours, requircth new manners, new felfedeniall,new faith, new life, a doa- ble poi rion of grace j begge it therefore as EUJba did ; all that belong to you, require a new part in you : And, who is iurhciencfor thtle ? Make your (elves nothing : and God ail in all , who can fatishe you. Scperate not yi ur kivts in thtfe duties, as others dee in Congrega- t ons , or ethers in boord and bed, but (ay , come, let us pray together , co.ifliVe , give thanks , I am asthouart , my people as thine, my borfes as thine, my thoughts, affect i- c d$, members, as thine. By this meane, love (hall fo i*row, that it iliall outgrow aildittcnapers : you iliall fay of each other , 1 never chought my wife had the tirhe of that ^race in her heart, or that my husband had htlfc that humble* neiVe , companion, faith, which now I perceive* Thofc evills, thole infirmities , which would for 1 \ ; re cltran- ged iome, and cau(< d dift in I \m , d fo much the more love to my loule, fympa:L\ , V fiom 1 46* MttrmoMAll Hetmr : or, from this welfpring of joint worfhip , {hall flowc ftfea- mes of hony and butter ( as lob fpeakes ) into all the life: Efpecially, when crofles and ftreights fhall befall you, then iliallGodbeneereft of all unto you, and be afflif*ed with you in all : becaufeyou have Hiadehimthe God of your mounteynes, he wilbee the God of you valleys alfo,whena$ others, who never thus traded with him,(halbe fent to their Idolls,and to fliifte for themfelves. And as touching the firft duties,ofmutuallnes , viz. of thefe fowre jointneiTe of religi- on and worlhip,thus much. Chap. VII. The fecoitd mutmll duty tf the Married .viz. CmjugtliUvc handled* The fccond I Now proceed to the fecond mayne and joint duty of the IhTmfrrytd * marry ed which is conjugall Love; For the better hand- Conjagal love ling wherof it will not be amitfe firft to premife fomewhati touching the nature of it: and then to (hew fome reafons, why it fhould bee jointly preferved , adding fome meanes wherby it may bee done,and fo,concluding with ufe. Love ought to That infinitely and onely wife God who both upholdeth be- joiRtly pre- fay his providence, all his creatures in their kindes and fubfi- fctved , ^ the fting,and hath by one foule of harmony and confenr,accor- siage r * ^ ec * eacn Wlt ^ ot h^r, for their mutuall aydeand fupport: much more hath his hand in the accorde of reafbnablc creatures,their fellowfhip and league together, as without which they could not well continue in their welfare & pro- fperity. And therfore,for the more fweete reconciling and uniting of the affections of one to another in every kinde of league and fdlowfhip,both the more generalland common, (landing in outward commerce, and the more neer & clofc* as in fricndfliip and 'marriage ; he hath according planted in every nature,fexe and perfonmoreorlefle Simpatnay,that the one not poflibly becing abU to fubfift without the other, might A Tredttfe of M*rrt ige. 1 4.7 nvght * y this tyc, each lore the other , and be knit to the o- thcr in union and arfjelion. This appeares even in the moil Nor only fered remo c contracts of buying and felling, borrowing and len- ty peculiar ding: wlicnn although : he league ftand rather in things then mltMCt ' in pcrions,yct even itiere , is leene a gencrall kinde oflove, each man chufing to trade and trarfiquc wth them, whole ("pint and fume is mod iutablc to their owne. When God meant to clinch the liuelites by the bounty of the Egypti- ans, he darted in for r he time luch a fympathie into their hearts, that they found favour in their eics ; fo that nothing was then too deare for them, jewels and gold and filver, till they had impoveriflat themfelves. And , in thofe combi- nations of men which are grounded in law and civili order in commonwealths and corporations , although there be a neceflary bond, to keepe all forts within order and govern- ment : yet there is to be ol ferved between thole members,a more pe culiai bond betweene fome then others , through a futeablencfT. or dilpofition that is in them, whereby for fpecall caufes , the one doth more tende ly afk