APR 22 191' BX 7795 .A65 A5 1811 Alexander, Mary, 1760-1809. Some account of the life ar religious experience of SOME 7 ACCOUNT ^^^"^ Of THE Jjife and Religious Experience OF MAHY AILIEXANBEB, lATE OF NEEDHJM MARKET. V " Ye, when ye shall have done all those things whicli " are commanded yon, say, We are unprofitable servants; " we Lave done [onlyj that which was our duly to do." Luke xvii. IQ, PRINTED BY C. PEACOCK, FOR tV. ALEXANDER, AND SOLD BY HTM J ■JilSO BY \V, PHILLIPS, GEORGE-YARD, LO.MIJARD-STREET AND DARTON, HARVEY, ANODARTON, NO, 55, ' CBACE-CJiURCII-STREET, (.0M90N. 1811. PREFACE. IN publishing this account of a dearly beloved sister, there is not a great deal, as Editor, to perform, more than to write a fair transcript of her own remarks ; till the last few months of her life. This period does not ap- pear to be recorded by herself; and the omission is easily accounted for. She died whilst from home on a religious visit; and, having a reten- tive memory, it seems to have been her practice, sometimes, to commit to writing the events of a journey, after her return home. The Editor has thought he could not better supply tire defect in her own narrative, than by A 2 iy PREFACE. giving some information respecting her last exercising labours, and by adding an account of the closing scene. In making an additioii to the valuablx!- Journals which already exist, it may not he improper to say, that a peculiar interest is naturally felt, in the biographical narrations of those with -whom we have been acquainted. Where the writer has held forth, by uniform conduct, the impressive language of, '^ follow me as I have followed Christ," this interest is doubly excited; and has also a powerful ten- dency to animate survivors, in the work of righteousnes and salvation. W. A\ Digitized by the Internet Arclnive in 2015 https://archive.org/details/someaccountoflifOOalex_0 CONTENTS. CHAPTER I. From lier birth to the 8th Month, 1789. Remarks by tlie Editor, including a Testimony concern' ing her motlier. — Her inducement for writing these Memoirs. — A remarkable occurrence at 10 years of age. — Her first impression respecting a gift in the ministry.— On reading the scriptures, plays, and ro- mances. — The death of her father — sister in law — and a near friend. — Further exercise respecting the minis- ^'^y— Page 11—23 CHAPTER H, 1790, to the 12th Month, 1793. Sicr situation after appearing in the ministry. — Visit lo a friend. — Acknowledged as a minister— Visit to families at Woodbridge and Ipswich. — Norwich quarter] v meet- ing. — Deep exercises of mind. — Becclcs monthly meet- ing. — Bury monthly meeting. — Woodbridge- monthly meeting— ^ , , p<,„e 30— S9 CONTENTS, CHAPTER III. 1st Month, 1794, to the 10th Month, 1795. Visits Norwich, &c.— Decease of an individunl at Need- ham. — Wilham Bleckley's decease. — Burial of Mary Crowley. — Cambridgeshire and Huntingdonshire — Lincolnshire, and York quarterly meeting — i»tfge 40—50 CHAPTER IV. 22d of 11th Month, 1795, to the 8th of 2d Month, 17-96. -A meeting at Walton. — Debenham.-— Writes to a friend imprisoned on account of tithes — . . Page. 5 1 — 55 CHAPTER V. gth Month, 1796, to the 3d Month, 1798; Her brother William's marriage, &c.— Visits some meet- ings in company with Sarah Harrison and Sarah Birk- beck. — Deep cuutiict of mind — Visit to the Princi- pality of Wales, 6cc. — Yearly meeting at Welchpool.~ Coalbrook Dale. — Left her sister Ann at London yearly meeting — Joined her again at Pluistow. — Visits Her*- fordsliire, &c. — Macclestield quarterly meeting. — Wrexham in Wales. — Actoi.ni of their visit to the Princip ility. — Meiksham— is ill tiiere. — (ioes to Ciren- €es;er, and returns home.— A dream. — Settles in her new habitation—. Pagt 56—74 Contents. vji CHAPTER VI. 5th Month, 1798, to the 11th Month, 1800. Xondon yearly rnceting.— Sundry meetings in Suffolk.— Endures a very trying dispensation.— Visits Tivetsliall monthly meeting, &c. — Joins Elizabeth Coggeshall in visiting sundry places in Norfolk, Suffolk, Leicester- shire, Derbyshire, Nottidghamahire, and Yorkshire.— Returns home— . ...... Page 16—97 CHAPTER Vir. 12th Month, 1800, to the 9th Month, 1802. Concern for the youth, &c. — Huntingdonshire and Cam- bridgeshire. — Religious prospects. — Visit to Surrey, Sussex, and Hampshire quarterly meetings, &c. — Re- turns home. — Visits sundry villages in her own county. — Burial of Isaac Brigbtwen. — Decease of . • Fage 98—115 CHAPTER Vni. 12th Month, 1802, to the 7th Month, 1804. A season of withdrawing and trial. — Hitchen.— Visit to friends' families, &c. in Suffolk. — London yearly meet- ing. — Her sister Ann's visit to America. — Refleciions. — Renewal of a religious prospect alluded to in 1801 — - Cast before the monthly meeting. — Remark on her feeluigs upon such occasions— . . Page 116 — 132 CONTENTS. CHAPTER IX. Sd of Sth Monti), 1804, to the 1st of 1st Month, 1805. Sets out on the visit to Scotland, &c. — Bury. — Littleport, — Chntteiis. — Derby. — Cockermouth. — Parton. — Isle of Man. — Whitehaven. — Dissington. — Cockermoutli. Maryport. — Cockermouth quarterly meeting. — Grey- » Soutlien. — Edinburgh— Dundee — Kinmuck — Baihal- gardy — Old Meldrum— Aberdeen — Stontliaveii — Mon- trose — Dundee — Perth — Glasgow — Edinburgh month- ly meeting. — Newcastle — Shields — Darlington, &c. — York. — Welbourn. — Northampton quarterly meeting. Chatteris. — Returns home — . . Fage 133 — iOS- CHAPTER X. 1st Month, 1805, to the 9th Month, 180G. E. Gibson's burial, and that of another individual.— Her sister Ann "returns her ces-tificates — Quarterly meet- ing. — Accompanies William Forster, jijn. — Quarterly meeting — Earith — . . . j . Page 167 — 173. CHAPTER XI. 3d of 12th Month, 1806, to tlit Btli of 4th Month, 1807. Reflections on a prospect of visiting London and Middlesex quarterly meeting. — T()tte)iliam. — Plaistow. — Totten- ham. — Southgate. — Grace-Church-Street monthly meeting. — Colchester — .... Fagc 174 — ISr CONTENTS. CHAPTER XII. ^Ist of rth Month, 1808, to the 27th of 8th Month, 1809. Parts with her nephews W. II. and J. Alexander — with her sister Ann and brother WilHam. — Visit lo heads of families in lier own monthly meeting.— York. — Returns home through Lincohisliire — Page 188—193 Supplement by the Editor, CJontaiuing some account of her last journey, also of her illness and decease — J'")?e 191 — 208 Account nf books published by Wm. Alexander — Page 209, 210 SOME ACCOUNT OF THE UFE AND RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE OF MJRY ALEXANDER. CHAPTER I. From her Birth to the 8th Month, 1789. Jlmarks by the Editor, including a testimovy concern- ing her mothcr.^Her inducement for writing these memoirs.— A remarkable occurrence at 10 years old. Herjirst impression respecting a gift in the tninistry. On reading the scriptures, plays, and romances. — The death of her father, sister-in-law, and a near friend.— Further exercise respecting the ministry. The subject of these memoirs was boni the 7th of 2d Month, 1760, and was the daughtei: of Dykes and Martha Alexander, of Necdhani Market, in the county of Suffolk. ■• Her father was in the station of an elder, and her mother in that of a nnuister. The decease of the lat- B 12 SOME ACCOVNT OF ter, when my sister was about 16 years of age, was a heavy loss to her ; as maternal care and tenderness, can find many opportunities of pro- tecting the youthful mind, which, from the different avocations of the sexes, evade a father's most assiduous care. The reader will be qualified to judge more completely of this loss, by perusing the follow- ing testimony. A short testimony from Woodbridge Monthly Meeting, concerning Martha Alexander:— Our friend Martha Alexander, late wife of Dykes Alexander, of Needham Mai-kct, in the couiTty of Suffolk, was daughter of John and Abigail Biddle, of Esher in Surry, both valua- ble friends. Her mother dying when she was young, her father was concerned to educate hpr, and the rest of his children, agreeably to their station; especially to bring them up, according to the living principle of truth, and in the nur- ture and admonition of the Lord. " Our deceased friend was born the 13th of the 12th Monih, 1/26, and married tlie 18th of the 12th Month, 1747. She became early sen- MAIiY ALEXANDER. slble of the roaches of Divine Grace in her owa lieart, and embraced its heavenly visitations. Earnestly desirous to obtain an abiciing therein, .she submitted to the cross of Christ, renouncing the pursuits of vanity and the pleasures of sin ; and M alking in circumspection, humility and the fear of the Lord, about the year 17-50, she found her mind concerned to engage in the work of the ministry; wherein we doubt not but she endea- voured to discliarge herself faithfully, accorduig to her measure. " As she felt her mind drawn in the love of truth, she visited friends in divers parts of the nation; particularly in London and the parts adjacent, in 175C, in company with JNIary Kirby; in the Isle of Ely and there away, \7.'>o, w ith Margaret Marsham; in the county of Nor- folk, 1771, with Mary Gurncy; and with tlic same friend, she attended the (juarterly mcetiiigs of Lincoln and York in 1774; taking divers meetings in the way both out and home. " She was not usually large in testimony, but very tender, solul, and weighty; a living exam- l)le of the doctrines she delivered, in conversa- tion and conduct; a shining pattern of humility K SOME ACCOUNT OF and patience, piety and charity ; faithful and amiable in every relation of life ; affectionately united to the living in Israel ; kind and courteous to her neighbours; sympathizing with the af- flicted; and liberal to the needy of all deiio- minatiuus. " She departed this life at her daughter Jesup's, in Woodbridge, the 18th of the 9th Month, 1775; and her interment was respectfully at- tended, both by friends and neighbours, at Needham Market, the 25th of the same. She was aged near 49, a minister about 25 years." By comparing the dates, the reader will find that the writer of these memoirs was about 38 vears old when she thus commenced them. Month 18fh, 1798. It is not with the smallest supposition that any thing I may liave to commit to paper, can be likely to yield either edification or consola- tion to those who survive me, that I am induced to attempt to write down some circumstances of my life intherto: but I am led to do it, from a belief wluch sometimes is the companion of my MARY ALEXANDER. 15 miiul, in solemn seasons, that to look back and consider the merciful dealings of a gracious Creator, with one of the least in his spiritual fa- mily, (if worthy to conclude myself at all of this number) and, as events may be brought afresh to my remembrance, to pen them, may tend to my own future satisfaction and instruc- tion. If permitted to continue a few years longer in this state of existence, I expect to experience a partaking of the cup of mixtures. Should the bitter draught be more frequently dispensed than the s\\eet consolations of His pure spirit, who is the All-wise Physician, and who knows best what potion is most convenient to keep iho immortal part in health, and in a state of readi- ness to receive the crown of eternal life, niav I resignedly accept it, and increasingly- seek for ability to say widi the great Pattern of svibmis- sion : — " Not my will, but thine be done."* At a very early age I believe my mind v,as, at times, visited w ith the heart-tendering power of the Lord ; long before I knew what it was tliat contrited my spirit before Him. This led me to feel a very great love for such as I esteemed good friends, and enabled me to plead * Li'KE xxii. 42, 1(5 SOME ACCOUXT OF their cause when I heard some speak slightly of them, on account of what were considered singu- larities. My education did not subject me to such frequent exposures as fall to the lot of many, and perhaps of most; yet there were sea- sons when circumstances of this sort did occur. One in particular I remember. When about 10 years of age, I rebuked a person, who was ridiculing one whom I believed to be a valuable woman ; and the person's answer to me was — " I make no doubt but you w ill be a preacher when: you grow up." I silently received what she said, and felt a secret reward, which enabled me to rejoice that 1 was permitted to bear my /iltle portion of suffering for espousing the good' cause. Yet sorrowful to remember, several years after, I fear I should have felt less ability to hnve done it, than at that early period; but, with reverent thankfulness I can acknowledge, the wonderfiil goodness of a merciful God, who never permitted me to go long unrebuked, when 1 had wandered widely from his holy guidance. About the seventeenth year of my age, as I Tivas sitting in a meeting at Woodbridge, I saw clearly, that if I was faitliiu!, 1 should, after a- time, be entrusted with a gift in the ministry.. MARY ALEXANDER. 17 Notwitfistanding my having been so favoured, I went afterwards much further from the simpli- city of my guarded education, in divers respects, than I had done before ; but mercy followed me so nearly and closely, that at times my heart was sad, though I was not guilty of any thing which many thought much amiss of, for a young person. I indulged however in many inclina- tions and propensities, wliich required to be slain by the sword of the Lord, before I could be brought into a state of acceptance with Him. At length my desires were earnest to witness redemption from the world; and, in the twenty- third year of my age, one first day evening, after I came from a neighbouring meeting, in a solid frame of mind, I went into my chamber, and, taking up the bible, opened it at the seventh chapter of the Revelations, and read the two last verses: " Tiiey shall hunger no more, nei- ther thirst any more; neither shall the sun light on them, nor any heat ; for the Lamb which is in the midst of the throne shall- feed them, and shall lead theia unto living fountains of waters : and God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes." On reading this passage my mind was so opened to view this precious state of departed 18 SOME ACCOUNT OF spirits, and, I believe, for a short space so permit- led to participate their joy, that Peter-like, I de- sired I might build a tabernacle, or, in other words, continue in this blessed situation. How- ever I was not allowed to abide long here ; for as he was instructed to Jiear the beloved Son of God, so it was given me to see, if ever I be- came of that happy number, I also must hear Him who " endured the cross, despising the shame ;"* and must experience a willingness wrought in my heart, to fill up my measure of sufferings for the precious cause. Soon after this time, I was permitted to share largely in the gospel labours of several of the Lord's anointed messengers ; who were wonder- fully led to minister to my state, and proved that they were commissioned to preach the gos- pel of glad tidings to such as were seeking a city that hath foundations ; which I humbly trust was my situation. Among those who were thus made helpful to my poor soul, was my beloved friend AVilliam. ^Matthews, of York Town, Pennsylvania, whose fatherly attention and no- tice, in so needful a season, will ever render the remembrance of him dear to mc ; while pre- » Heb. xii. 2. MARY ALEXANDER. 19 servation is mercifully granted to abide faithful to the requisitions of a gracious Creator. When my mind became thus far awakened, and was seeking a better and more enduring substance than had heretofore been my experi- ence, oh ! how was my soul often contrited before my heavenly Father, both in meetings and retirement at home ; and he very frequently caused my cup to overflo^^', so that my heart was melted into such a state of humiliation before him for past olfences, as to enable me frequently to cry unto him, that his eye might not spare, until all within me was brought into subjection unto his divine will. At this time I was favoured to receive much comfort in reading the Holy Scriptures, which I often took up when alone, to my consolation and encouragement. Then, deeply did I lament that any of my preci- ous time had been spent in perusing publica- tions of an improfitable tendency ; such as plays and romonces; and I was made sensible that nothing i had ever been in the practice of, had so much alienated my mind from the love and fear of God, or led me so far from the simpli- city of the pure truth, as books of this kind. How often did I wish I could warn the whole 20 SOME ACCOX NT OF world of their pernicious effects, and especially the young people in our own society. Penning this remark brings to my remembrance, how, in an instant, I was entirely weaned from ever desiring again to look into a book of this de- scription. It was by a few words expressed by a beloved friend, when I was about reading to her one night after we got up -Stairs, and were retiring to bed. She queried with me, and I be- lieve under divine influence, " Dear ]\Iary, is such a subject likely to profit ns upon our pil- lows ?" The question so forcibly struck my mind, that I very willingly laid down the volume, and, to the best of my remembrnnce, I never more read a page in that, or any thing of the like kind. I have often thought those few words were indeed " like apples of gold ia pictures of silver."* In the fourth month of the year 178(1, my dear father was removed from us by death, afta- an illness of several months; during which time niy mind was often favoured with the conso- lating presence of Him, who is strength in w eakness to his dependant children. This ena- bled me to pass through that trying dispensar * Pnov. XXV. 11. MARY ALEXANDER. tlon in a manner I could not have expected ; yet, after the final close of my beloved earthly pa- rent, it pleased my heavenly Father to try me with the loss of spiritual enjoyment also ; and, for a long time, my poor mind was often in a very distressed situation, " Tossed with tempest, and not comforted."* Indeed this was a time of sorrow Loth within and \\-ithout ; for that day nine weeks on which my father expired, my dear sister Elizabeth Alexander, my brother Samuel's v'ife, breathed her last, and left a disconsolate husband and four tender children, besides many Other near connections, to mourn her loss. Tlius bereaved of beloved relatives, my bro- ther William and myself agreed to continue to- gether in our father's house; and my brother Samuel was favoured with the company and assistance of his wife's aunt, IMary Gurney, Avho, from that time, resided with him and his dear children. I believe she was made a bles- sing to many of us, while we were permitted to have her society amongst us ; which was till the autumn of the year 1788, when, after having been out several weeks on religious service, she was taken ill at her cousin Joseph Cockfield's, at U])tozi; and, in a few days, departed this life; * Isaiah liv. 11. ^2 SOME ACCOUNT OP I fully believe, in peace with her God, having spent her last days in advocating his holy cause.* Though a little out of the order of time, I may here observe, that on the 7t:h of 6th month, 1787, was my final parting with William Mat- thews and Rebecca Wright, gospel messengers of peculiar good to ray mind. To return to my own situation : My poor mind was long kept in a state of great inward want, and I was sometimes ready to conclude my God had forgotten to be gracious. In such seasons, I have been willing to offer up all unto him and his service, so that I miglit again taste of his goodness : and, in this time of trial, I did give up many things which I believed he called for. Whilst in this situation, I had sometimes to believe, that if 1 stood faithful, it would be re- quired of me publicly to espouse that pure Cause, which, notwithstanding all my exercises, • Among the extracts from letters, added to Sarah Grubb's journal, is one peciiliaily descriptive of this our valued relative. — Dated li>lh Jlontb, 1788. See p. 389, 2nd Edit. Ejjitor. MARY ALEXANDER. 23 .1 could feel was more precious to nie tliaii the increase of any outward comforts; but tlie re- moval of my before-mentioned beloved friend, Mary Gurney, at such a juncture, was so great a trial of my faith and confidence, that I was almost ready to conclude it would now be im- posssible for me ever to break through; though I did earnestly covet resignation to the divine will therein. In this situation of mind I attended her burial, and though, I believe, at her grave, I might have publicly borne testimony of my be- lief in her happy change; yet, as I did not wil- fully disobey what, I have since apprehended was a divine intimation, I did not feel much condemnation. It was some months after this before I again felt as much as I did at that time; yet, frequently was I in great doubt and uneasi- ness, often feeling, as I thought, something to communicate, when in religious opportunities ; but fearing 1 should begin in the great work of public ministry, before the right time, I withheld speaking. At other times, both at meetings and at home, both by day and by night, I was under very great exercise lest I shouhl be en- tirely mistaken, and that what I felt should not be any right call to the ministry. 9 24 SOME ACCOUNT OF This was my situation one night in the begin- ning of the year 1789, when, after having lain a considerable time in close exercise of spirit, a light shined round my bed, and 1 heard a voice intelligibly say ; " Thou art appointed to preach the Gospel." Immediately the light disap- peared, and I was left in an awful, than!:ful frame of mind ; esteeming it an intimation granted by Him, who alone knows the deep conflicts of spnit I then experienced, lest I should engage in -his cause without his com- mand. Yet, even after this mark of divine con- descension to my poor doubting mind, being sin- cerely desnous of abiding the full time in tlie furnace preparatory for so important a work, it was many weeks before I opened my lips, in what I considered the work of the ministry. The first time, was in the fifth month of this year, in a religious opportunity in my brother Samuel's family, I believe, in nearly the following words : *' When Peter in his vision, wherein he saw the sheet let down from heaven, with that great va- riety of living creatures, and heard a voice com- manding him to kill and eat, refused fearing he fshoald do wrong in so doing; he, after hjs re- fusal, heard the voice again saying unto him, What God hath cleansed or sauctil;ed, that call not thou common." MARY ALEXANDEB. After I had uttered these sentences, my soul was filled with the incomes of heavenly consolation to such a degree, as I never before had experienced, which I humbly received as a token of Divine approbation for my evening's sacrifice. Indeed so quiet and peaceful was my mind for many days after, that I was ready to conclude " the bitterness of death was past ;"• that I never again should feel the distressing conflicts which I had long endured; and that my having thus far surrendered my will to the di- vine will, would be accepted, and I never again might feel a necessity of the like nature. But I soon felt a similar engagement in meetings, though not with as much clearness and strength as that evening, and therefore did not venture to speak until it was equally strong. About ten weeks after tlie before-mentioned time, on the first day of the week, and 26th of the 7th month, 1789, in our forenoon meeting, I felt a very powerful intimation to stand up and express a few words, and put out my hanct to lay hold of the seat which stood before me ; but even then I drew back my hand and gave it up ; for which I felt much more condemnation * I Sam. XV. 32. 26 SOME ACCOUNT OF than I ever had done before under like cucum- stauces ; and went home in very great distress of mind, which I feared I should not be able ta conceal from my brother William while I sat at dinner with him. Whether he did discover my situation or not, I cannot tell ; but as soon as the table cloth w as removed, I retired to my chamber, and there made covenant w ith Him, w hom I sor- rowfully felt I had offended by my omission, that if He would be mercifully pleased to try me in the afternoon, with some new opening, I w ould give up ; fearing, if it were the same as in tlie morning, that I might move too much from my own feelings at that time, without a suf- licient renewal of life. And, oh ! the unspeakable condescension of a gracious Creator, when he sees the integrity of the heart. I had not been seated many minutes in meeting, before the pe- tition of Caleb's daughter was brought so forci- bly, with such clearness, and in such a confirm- ing manner before me, that I could not doubt its being given me for communication : but it was so early in the meeting, I thought I must endeavour to bear my burden awhile, yet ear- nestly begged I might be enabled to speak in the right time. While I was under these awful impressions, a friend got up, and had a lively MARY ALEXANDER. ^7 opportunity, though I knew not much of what he said ; for indeed my own exercise at that time, seemed all I could attend to. As soon as he sat down, I stood up and began with the before- mentioned petition : " Thou bast given me a south land; give me also springs of water," and after commenting a little upon it, I sat down full of peace^ This was twelve or thirteen years after I first saw a prospect of receiving a call to the minis- try, as I sat in a meeting at Woodbridge ; and after this, which I then apprehended to be a clear intimation of the divine will concerning me, it was some years before I had any further serious impressions respecting it. The transi- tion from tribulation to joy which my mind ex- perienced on ray return home, from the after- noon meeting, was such as led me to crave of my heavenly Father, that he would be pleased to grant me ability to follow him faithfully in the way of his holy requirings, from time to time. For some weeks after my soul M as often enabled secretly to praise the Lord, as on the banks of deliverance ; which encouraged me to hope, notwithstanding all my foregoing omis- sions, that He who sees the beut and inteot of C 3 28 SOME ACCOVKT OP every heart, knowing my exceeding great fear of going too fast, had passed by my offences, and was now confirming to ray mind, that to serve liim without reserve, was the way to ensure comfort here, as well as everlasting happiness hereafter. Indeed I fully believe, that while it is really a solid fear of running before the Lord isends, which keeps back any sacrifice he is call- ing for, especially in this important work, there is less danger in trying the fleece again and again, than in running too hastily forward ; even when a living engagement is felt: but to be pre- served from erring on either hand, is a blessing which can be witnessed only while the mind is engaged to keep near to its only sure director, tlie unerring principle of Truth, and submits to. be unreservedly guided thereby. From such considerations, I have often felt thankfulness raised in my heart, that while my mind was under the weighty exercises which preceded my appearance ia the ministry, and vliich I believe some of my feeling friends, ia the won of light, were permitted to behold, lhal -flty used such great caution in intimating the subject to me, as seldom to give me reason to suppose they had any appreheusion of my : MARY ALEXANDER. 29 real situation. I believe that minds thus cir- cumstanced, are better left to the guidance of Him who begins the work, to carry it on, and bring forth fruit in his own season ; even though, through fear or care, a state of jeopardy may be somewhat prolonged ; rather than any injudicious interference of others, should bring the poor tribulated soul out of the preparatory furnace, before the appointed baptisms are ful- lilled. I am fully aware, that the doubting mind may sometimes be rightly encouraged ta obedience, by the countenance of those who have had larger experience of the great Master's dealings with his humble and truly-dependant followers ; but I believe, beyond all doubt, that a much greater number have suffered by being injudiciously drawn forth, before the full ac- complishment of all the dispensations which the Lord sees meet for them to pass through, SOME ACCOUNT OP CHAPTER 11. 1790 to 12th Moutli, 1798. tier condition after appearing in the rninistry .— Visit to a friend. — Acknowledged as a minister. — Visit to families at Woodbridge and Ipswich. — Norwich Quarterly/ Meeting. — Deep exercises of mind. — Bcc- cles Monthly Meeting. — Bury Monthly Meeting.—^ Woodbridge Monthly Meeting. In the course of the first twelve months after I opened rny mouth in meetings, I was permit- ted to experience many different dispensations. Some of them were seasons of very great deser- tion of all good, which led me often to a close searching of heart, to know whether I kept pace with my heavenly Guide, or whether I ran he- fore or staid behind him in my little religious, movements. I think it was not often that my heart condemned me ; but when it did, it was for omission rather than for commission: and, oh ! how did my soul often covet the blessing of resignation to the divine will, that 1 mij^ht be enabled to endure all the turnings and over- turnings of his holy hand upon me; so that I might be thereby prepared to accomplish the ■work he should be pleased to assign me, in his house and family; if worthy to be esteemed the smallest of his dedicated servants. MARY ALEXANDER. 51 In the autumn of this year, 1790, for many Aveeks, at times, I was brought into it secret engagement, and I trust I may say, according to my measure, travail of soul, on account of a friend in this county who, I fully believe, had been an anointed minister of the gospel; but through unwatchfulness, his brightness was much eclipsed. At lengih my feelings were so closely arrested, as to lead me to apprehend I should not get clear of the exercise I felt on his ac- count, without going to pay him a visit, thouglv many miles distant ; which I made known to my brother Samuel, a\ ho kindly accompanied me, in the forepart of the l'2lh month. Although I know not that the visit availed much to the indi- vidual ; yet I was favoured with strength to re- lieve my own mind, and came home in peace. 1 79 1 . In the fourth month of this year, I Avas recommended to our select monthly meet- ing as a minister in unity, ihis circumstance brought a very heavy exercise over my mind, fearing fiiends had not had sufficient proof of my religious movements, to ^\arrant their no- ticing me after this manner ; and earnest were my cries to Him, who I humbly hoped had put me forth in so awful a vocation, that he would 32 SOME ACCOUNT OP be pleased to grant such a portion of the bles- sing of preservation, as to enable me to move for- ward without bringing any dishonour on his pure cause. And oh ! may a care of this sort, be ever the attendant of my mind, under all the various dispensation of an unerring Providence ; seeking more and more after ability, so to steer along through this probationary state, as that " neither principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, may be able to separate" my poor soul " from the Love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." * Such a care is need- ful to preserve, from time to time, in unreserved obedience to all His divine recjuisitions. In the eleventh month this year, I visited, in. company with a committee of our monthly meeting, the families of friends in Woodbridge ; and though it was not much that was required of me, yet, in a few families, I felt my heart en- larged in gospel love, beyond what l had here- tofore experienced ; and in the close w as fa- voured to feel solid satisfaction. Some of the committee being about to engage in a similar visit at Ipswich, a week or two after, I thought * Rom. viii. 38, 39. MARY ALEXANDKR, 53 1 felt it my duty to unite with them again ; yet, many were my fears lest I should be mistaken in my feelings, thinking that possibly what I then felt, might arise only from a degree of sym- pathy \\ ith some o/ ray beloved friends of the committee ; and, not being one myself, it seemed to require a clearer evidence than if 1 had been under the appointment, though it was left open for any friend of the monthly meeting to join, who felt the weight of the service. For one so little experienced in the important work to make a second attempt, under such circum- stances, I thought would be looked upon to be rather forward ; and indeed I sometimes feared, that my gettnig through at VVoedbridge with a good degree of satisfaction, might too readily encourage me to go forth agam, without a suf- iicient commission from Him who putteth fortli his own, and goeth before them. Therefore I coveted permission to try the fleece both wet .and dry, which I think \\ as mercifully granted ; and I joined my friends in a humble hope, that whether it should please my great and gracious Master to employ me in advocating his precious cause, or permit me silently to visit the pure seed in the hearts of his people, I might be able to say in sincerity, " Thy will be done." 34 SOME ACCOUNT OF Abundant cause have I to acknowledge the goodness of an All-powerful Creator, who proved hhnself to be strength in my weakness, and granted the riches of his love to be emi- nently shed amongst us, in divers families ; whereby he mercifully evinced that he was both able and willing to be unto iiis dependant chil- dren, a present help in the needful time. A portion of that peace which surpasseth every other consideration, was felt in my return home ; and raised a tribute of thankfulness in my lieart unto Him, to whom I desire ever to render the praise of his own works. In the latter end of tliis year, in company with my brother Dykes Alexander and two other friends, I attended Norwich quarterly meeting; and though we were not permitted to experience any great aboundings ©f heavenly good ; yet I trust we were strengthened by the Shepherd of Israel, to visit the oppressed seed in captivity in that city. After the meeting closed, on fourth day afternoon, the 28th of 12th month, we left the place in })eace, and went to Yoxford that night. The next morning we went to Woodbridge, and attended the burial of our much-valued friend, Martha Steward, TMARV ALEXANDER. 35 there that day ; in the evening went to Tpswich ; -and ou sixth day morning i came to J»Jeedliam. For some weeks after my return home, my mind was, at times, richly replenished with the incomes of my heavenly Father's love, so that I could indeed " rejoice in the Lord, and joy in the God of my salvation."* But, alas ! wheu a very different dispensation was permitted, ■which was my experience by far the greater part of the year 1792, then, oh then! I found it hard work, and many times altogether impossible to acknowledge witJi the prophet, that " although the fig-tree diall not blossom, neither shall fruit be in the vines : the labour of the olive shall fail, and the fields shall yield no meat; the flocks shall be cut off from the fold, and there shall be no herd in the stalls,: yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salva- tion."f Fully convinced 1 was of the truth of David's declaration, where he says, "Fhy peoj)le shall be willing in the day of thy power :f and, in tliat day onli/y I saw it was that the poor frail mind could be brought into a state of resignation, to receive its appointed portion of suffering for the precious cause sake. ^ ea, I was • Hab. iii. 18. * Hab, iii. 17, 18. t PsAL. cx, 3. 36 SOME ACCOUNT OF sometimes mercifully enabled to see, in this time, vliereia all sensible refreshment was withheld from my soul, that great caution was necessary not to meddle with any forbidden fruit, or set up any graven image in the absence of my spi- ritual Moses. Sometimes, in the anguish of my heai't, I liave been strengthened to cry unto Him who know- eth the secrets of all hearts, " Though thou slay nie, yet will I trust in thee :"* And in such sea- sons it has been shown me, I trust, in the vision of light, that if ever I knew a full release from the present bondage, it must be by going back to the place 1 had once left in peace, even to the city of Norwich, and there visit my friends, from house to house ; though I might thereby become a spectacle to angels and to men." :j; This was indeed humiliating to the natural part ; yet I can honestly say that my mind was many times brought into a state of resignation thereto, if 1 might but be favoured to have a suitable companion in the work ; and, after many months of close exercise, I believed this would be granted, when the full time should come to enter upon the engagement. Here I f Job xiii. 15. * 1 Cor. iv. 9. MARY ALEXANDER. 37 was permitted to leave the subject (or a while, and my .mind became, in some degree, relieved from its former exercises ; so that I was enabled to engage in some little services ' at and about home. Tliis I esteemed a mercy granted by my heavenly Father, having " lain long among the pots,"* cast off and useless, and often been ready to (juery, " Can these bones live About this time, at our summer quarterly meeting, held at Woodbrldge, in the 6th month, 1793, three other friends from the women's meeting, and myself, were appointed to visit the monthly meeting of Beccles, and the prepara- tive meetings constituting it, A committee of men friends having been previously nominated to visit all the monthly meetings in the county, some of them united with a part of our com- mittee to Beccles, in the 8th month following. !My friends Hannah Evens and ^lartha Brew- ster, were my female conipanions ; and we were favoured to get through beyond our own expectation ; yet, after my return home, I did not feel that evidence of divine acceptance which had sometimes been my experience, at the close of a little act of dedication. I was how* * rsAL, Ixviii. 13. t £z£K, xxxvii. 3, D Q 08 SOME ACCOUNT OF ever desirous of dwelling quietly in this condition, believing that when He who knows best what is best for us, is pleased so to favour, he can yield the desired confirmation of peace and to be kept in a state of waiting, is often a profitable, though to the creaturely part, a, humbling dispensation. Therefore, when it is consistent with the great Master's will to with-s hold the precious proof of acceptance, for any little acts of obedience, it is most assuredly his servants' duty to seek after submission to him, and ability to trust in his infinite wisdom for the food convenient; remembering the counsel of the good Counsellor, where he says, " When ye shall have done all those things which are com- manded you, say, We are unprofitable servants : we have done that which was our duty to do."* As the committee of men friends had not, previously to our quarterly meeting, held in the- 9th month, proceeded in their visit further than with us, it appeared most satisfactory to the women's meeting to continue our committee, which some of us willingly acquiesced with, not feeling our minds rightly liberated from the work; and we were left at liberty to unite widi. the men's committee in all, or any part of the' * Luke xvii. lO. MARY ALEXANDER. remaining engagement, as way might open fop it. In the 11th month we went through the monthly meeting of Bury : no small addition to tlie \\eight of the prospect to me, was the loss of the company of my beloved friend Martha Brewster, who was at that time very unwell. My female companions were my friends Han- nah Evens and Anna Perry, and we, as well as the men friends, were all of us striplings ; yet I be- lieve we were favoured to experience the mark of discipleship, in that we had love one to anu - ther ; and we were enabled to move oi) harmo- niously together. In the close of our visit we were favoured to feel a degree of that sweet quietude of mind which is not at our command ; and, therefore, I trust, it might be received as a token of divine acceptance; and some of our hearts were filled with thankful admiration, for the goodness and gracious condescension of owe Heavenly Helper. In the 12th month we went through Woo(^- bridge monthly meeting, ended our mission peacefully, and carried a written report of our proceedings to the next quarterly meeting, held the seventeenth of tlie same mouth. S) 3 40: SOME ACCOUNT 05 CHAPTER nr." ast Month, 1794, to 10th Month, 1795. "t^siis Nortbick, Sf C. •— Decease of an ' individudl aH ' Needham.— William Bleckley's decease. '^Burial of M. Croxaley. -—Cambridgeshire and Huntingdon^ shire— -Lincolnshire, and York quarterly meeting. Very soon after the close of the visit to the monthly nieetmgSj See. my mind became again deeply impressed with the before-mentioned prospect of visiting the families of friends at Norwich ; and with such an increased weight, that I believed the time for entering into that engagement was drawing nigh. Ardently did I crave of my Almighty Father that he would be pleased to gtiide me in every step that I took concerning it, and to give me some undoubted evidence of the right time to move therein, and of my right companion in the work. And I think I did repeatedly see, when my mind, I humbly trust, was brought in some degree un- der his instruction, that I was to unite with a friend herein, Mho about this time had a certi- ficate from York monthly meeting, for visiting the cities of Norwichj London, and Bristol. I" laid my prospect of visiting the families of MARY ALEXANDER. 4* friends at Norwich, before our monthly meet- ing in the beginning of the first month, 1794» and obtained the concurrence of my friends fos. the same. On 3d day, the 21st of thie 1st month, M'e cbmmenced our visits in that place, by having sittings in two families. The next day we at- tended the burial of a young man at Tasburgh, which proved a solemn meeting; and I believe, to some minds, it was an instructive and aw- fally awakening time; a day wherein the- invi- tation of the spirit of Christ, was renewed plen- teously and preciously, to some who had long been haltmg as between two opinions. We dined at Thomas Broadbank's, and re- twrned to Noivvich in the afternoon, where we hid two sittings more that evening. If ever I knew what it was to be " baptized for the dead,"* 1 think I did experience it in the course of my visit througli this place. It was a season- of very close exercise. Sometimes I was shut up in silence for several sittings together, in great poverty of spirit; and sometimes when. ■utterance,was granted, but little relief was ob-'- 1 Cor, XV. 29. 42 SOME ACCOUNT OF tallied ; so that I was ready often to doubt whether all that I had ever felt, concerning this engagement, was not a delusion of the great ad- versary of mankind : Yea, I was fearful lest I had put my hand unbidden to the Lord's work, and, Uzzah like, might fall a victim to the dis- pleasure of Tin offended Creator. But, blessed be the name of Israel's God, and I humbly trust my holy Leader, when I had filled up such a por- tion of suflfering for his pure seed's sake, as he saw meet to appoint, he was pleased to say, " It is enough,"* and, " to proclaim liberty to the captive ; and the opening of the prison to that which was bound." J Then I was, in some families, enabled to tell of the Lord's gracious dealings with my soul, thereby endeavouring to persuade others, to inllst under the banner of the Lamb, who is also " the lion of the tribe of Judali, the root of Davld,"t who was foimd worthy, and still is, " to take the book, and open the seals thereof." Thus, notwithstanding all the pro- bationary seasons allotted me in this city, the supporting and sustaining arm of never-failing power, was experienced to be near, at times, to my humbling admiration ; and, on leaving the place, I was permitted to receive a little por- • 2 Sam. xxiv. 16. t Isaiah Ixi. i. t Rev. v. 5. MARY ALEXANDER. 43 tion of " the oil of joy for mourning, and the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness."* At different times, whilst we were at Nor- wich, we visited three neighbouring, meet- ings, besides the burial before mentioned, viz. on first day the 2d of the second month, Wymond- ham ; Lammas week day meeting on fourth day the 5th; and Lammas monthly meeting, held at North Walsham, on second day the tenth of tlie same mouth. We left Norwich on fourth day, the 12th of the 2d month, and went to Tasburgh. On fifth day, the 13th, my brother William met us at Tasburgh, and we all attended the monthly meet- ing there. Next day, the 14th, we had meet- ings at Tivetshall and Diss. On seventh day,' the 15th, my companion, my brother W. A. and myself, went to Beccles; and visiting the meetings of friends at Pakefield, Leiston, Wood- bridge, and Ipswich on our way, we arrived, on fifth day the 20lh of the second month, at Ncedham, in time for the week day meeting. On the 2 1st and 22d my companion and myself ^lavuig felt a little engagement to sU with some * ISAIAU Ixi, 3. 44 SOME ACCOUNT OF of the families constituting this meeting, we proceeded, and were favoured to feel satisfac- tion in our movements therein ; and had to be- lieve, it was a time of renewed visitation of heavenly goodness to some minds, who had been long called to work in the Lord's vincyardj the vineyard of their ozcn hearts. After visiting a few meetings in Essex, my brother William and myself returned home, where I was favoured to receive a peaceful release from the little field of exercise and labour which I trust had been by divine ap- pointment allotted me. And, at times, I felt, gladness of heart, that I had been permitted to suffer with the pure suffering seed ; and could say, with the psalmist, " Gracious is the Lord and righteous; yea, our God is merciful. The Lord preserveth the simple : I was brought lowv and he helped me."* First day, the 30th of third month. This was an awful day to me. It was the final close of poor ■— — . He was once of our society, and my mind had often deeply felt on his account, be- lieving the Lord had long been inviting him, to • PsAL, cxvi. 5, 6. MARY ALEXANDEB. 45 " give diligence to make his calling and elec- tion .sure,"* before the solenni message w as sent unto him of, " Thou shalt die, and not live.";]: And thankful I was, that we had attended to the little pointing of duty, in stepping into some families here, after our return iiom Norwich ; believing, to this poor man, it was permitted to be a season of peculiar visitation from the Most High ; and it appeared to dwell with him to his end; which was about five weeks afterwards. He was ill only two days. His wife remarked, after his removal, that from the time of our visit, he had appeared quite an altered man ; very solid and thoughtful ; and that she had several times found him in his chamber with his bible, ^ circumstance w hich, I think slie said, she had never before observed. When I called at his house, a little after lie expired, I did believe, from the precious quiet I was permitted to feel, that his spivit was received into rest, which liumbled my soul, and all w ithin me, before Him, whose " tender mercies are over all his \vorks."t At the burial we were favoured with a solemn meeting. In the twelfth month this year, I attended die interment of our friend William Bleckley, * 2 Pet. i. 10. + 2 Kings xx. 1. t Psal. cxlv. 9. 46 St)ME ACCOUNT OP of Long Stratton, in Norfolk. It was a time of divine favour; many hearts were humbled, and greatl} lamented the church's loss, in the removal of one, who was engaged to maintain the law and the testimony given to us, as a people, to support. I was with him several times within the last few months of his life, at dif- ferent meetings, which were seasons of solid satis- faction to my mind at tlie time, and I could now review them with comfort. Much did I desire that those who felt their loss in his removal, and particularly his near relatives, might be willing to follow him as he had endeavoured to follow ChrisL I believe it was a day of merci- ful visitation to several of his beloved offspring; ■who, I trust, have since been made sensible of the truth of David's declaration where he says: *' A father of the fatherless, and a judge of the widows, is God in his holy habitation."* 1795. In the forepart of this year, in com- pany with two of my brothers, I attended the burial of my beloved friend Mary Crowley. She departed tiiis life on the 17th of the second month ; and was interred after a meeting at Devonshire-House, London, in friends' burial • PsAL. Ixviii. 5. MARY ALEXANDER. ground, near Bunliill-Fields, on the G4th of the same month. After my return home, though it was not a journey which I considered in the line of religious duty; yet it was one, I could look back upon with a peaceful calm, and with thankfulness to the great Author of every com- fort; rejoicing that I endeavoured to pay the last tribute of affection to an endeared friend, removed a little before me, from the conflicts of time, I humbly hope, to the joys of eternity. Soon after my return from the above-men- tioned journey, my mind became, at times, closely brought into exercise, under the re- newal of a prospect, of visiting the meetings of friends in the quarterly meeting of Cambridge- shire and Huntingdonshire ; accompanied with a belief, that the time was drawing near, in Avhich I must confess it to my friends, and re- quest their concurrence; and that without any knowledge of a companion. This increased the weight of the prospect ; but before I had opened the subject to any one, our friends Ann Tuke and Rachel Fowler, came into this coun- ty, on a religious visit; the latter expecting to leave Ann after attending our quarterly mcet- E 43 SOME ACCOUNT OF iiig, and that for Norfolk and Norwich, in the sixth month this year. Finding that A. T.'s prospect was to go from these counties directly into Cambridgeshire and Huntingdonshire, way opened with satisfactory clearness for me to propose uniting with her. Accordingly 1 laid my prospect before our monthly meeting, and obtained the concurrence of my friends to join her through that quarterly meeting, and else- where as way might open. I met her at Bury on the 13th of the 7tli month; and accompanied her to some meetings in this county, both among friends, and, in some places, where the inhabi- tants were generally invited. In Cambridge- shire and Huntingdonshire, we visited all the meetings of friends; we also had many meetings in different places witli people of other persua- sions; amongst whom we met with many well- disposed, serious, seeking minds. After we got througli that quarterly meeting, not seeing my way clear to return home, I continued with my beloved friend through Lincolnshire; where we visited all the meetings of friends, and had many public meetings, as in the other counties. We afterwards continued together to York; where my brother William met MAKY ALEXANDER. 49 me, tiiul we staid the qiuii terly meeting there in the 9th month; and, with A.Tuke, visited a few meetings in that county. We also attended the man iasfe of Joshua and Elizabeth Wheeler, on our return to York ; after wliich my brother and myself left York again, Henry and x\nn Tuke accompanying us to Lincoln quar- terly meeting ; where we parted. They re- turned to York, and we came home, where we arrived on seventh day the 10th of tenth month, and were favoured to meet our connexions well. Thankfulness was raised in my heart, for the many mercies bestowed by a bountiful giver: although many and various were the trials permitted to attend me, during this separation from my outward habitation. Some were of a nature, wherein patience and resignation were closely tried, so that I sometimes was almost ready to conclude, I had lost all power of ever again experiencing ability, even to lift up my eyes to heaven, and crave the blessing of pre- servation for my own soul. Yet after a dis- pensation of this sort, through merciful conde- scension, light did sometimes arise out of ob- E 2 50 SOME ACCOUNT OV scuiify, and the darkness, before cxperiencccJ, became as the noon day: so that through all, at my return home, I could set up my Ebe- nezer and acknowledge, " Hitherto hath the Lord helped me."* * i Sam. vil. it MARY ALEXANDER. 51 CHAPTER IV. !22d of 11th Monti), 1795, to tlie 8th of 2d Month, 1796. A mecfiiig at IValton — Dehcnham — Writes to a friend imprisoned on account of tithes. Some friends feeling their minds drawn to- wards the inhabitants of Walton in this county ; our monthly meeting appointed a meeting to be held there, on first day the 22d of the eleventh month this year. It proved a season owned in a very precious manner, by the great Master of assemblies'; and some of our hearts were bowed in humble thankfulness, under a sense of his gracious goodness," and returned home in peace. 1796. For several of tlie latter weeks in last year, my mind was very closely tried, with an apprehension of its being required of me, to have a meeting with the inhabitants of Deben- ham in this county. As the impression ap- peared to ripen, it proved a very weighty cir- cumstance to me, not knowing of any one v\ho felt a similar concern. I was brought under great exercise, lest I should move in this im- portant work, in a false zeal, unbidden bv the great and good Minister of miiystcrs; and I E. 3 ^2 SOME ACCOUNT OP earnestly coveted to receive some undoubted evidence of its rectitude, before I attempted to mention it to my friends. This was merci- fully granted, and the day and hour for hold- ing the meeting pointed out with such clear- ' iiess, that I could not doubt the evidence re- ceived. At our monthly meeting, in the first month this year, I laid the subject before my friends; who affectionately sympathized with me in my prospect; and, feeling unity therewith, the men's meeting appointed a committee, to provide a suitable place for holding the meet- ing in, on the 19th of this month. The com- mittee, with several other friends, accompanied me there at the time hxed. My brother Samuel and my dear friend Martha Brewster, were of the number, and were fellow-labourers in the gospel mission. We were favoured to have an open meeting, and I think I may say, parted with the people in much good will; some of them, I believe, having been reached, under the prevalency of the power of the great Shepherd and Bishop of souls. My mind was permitted to experience, for some weeks after, a sabbath of rest; which was cause of thankful rejoicing, having previously past some time of deep anxiety ; yet^ I think I was not insensible; undei: MARY ALEXANDER. 63 this change of situation, of the necessity of watching, lest I should take my flight upon the sabbath day. I believe that after the mind has been strengthened to perform any act of dedi- cation, which yields a portion of peace, there is great need to guard against erring on this hand. Yea, surely ! under every dispensation of a gra- cious and all-wise providence, there is occasion to crave ability to maintain a constant depen- dance upon Him, and on the guidance of his good Spirit. When at York in the autumn of last year, I visited several friends imprisoned, in the castle there, for refusing to pay some priests' de- mands. Not fully clearing my mind, at that time, of the sympathy and solicitude I felt for them, and, after my return home, receiving an acceptable letter from one of their company, I wrote an answer ; from which the follow ing is an extract, dated the 8th of the 2d month this year. " Dear friend! Having frequently felt my mind bended towards thyself, and thy companions in outward bonds, since I passed a little time with you in your prison house, it was very grate- ful to receive thy token of kind remembrance. 54 SOME ACCOUNT OP It renewed my sympathy towards thyself in particular, believing thou art often secretly co- veting that the precious cause, for which you suffer, may not be let fall, in the smallest de- gree, through unwatchfulness, in any of those who have so avowedly espoused it, as to submit themselves to be separated from their nearest outward connections, rather than bavvlk the testimony given them to bear to the great Mi- nister of ministers; without whose divine aid, none can really profit the people by their mini- stry. And oh! that all you who have thus given up your names to reproach, may be willing to remember, that there is need to seek after daily bread, even in your obscure dwelling ; and to feel the sustaining arm of never-failing Power to be near, not only to support the mind in a cheerful submission to the present trial of failh and patience, but also to afford a portion of s.trength to go in and out before the people,, within the walls of that place. Many of them, I am ready to believe, from my past and pre- sent feelings, are looking towards your little company; and if all are concerned singly to eye tRe captain of our salvation, your suffering may tend to the exaltation of the precious name of Jesus in the hearts of some of them. I have also believed; dear friends, that it is the gracious MARY ALEXANDER. 55' design of our Holy Head, if this is your indi- vidual concern, so to sanctify this afflictive dis- pensation to some of you, as thereby to enlarge your niward acquaintance and communion with Himself; yea, to increase your store of durable riches and righteousness. And thou, my friend, Avith whom I am particularly corresponding ; situated as thou art, amidst such a mixture of irreligious characters, as inhabit the different apartments in your prison ; I make no doubt but thy feeling mind is, at times, introduced into spiritual bondage ; and perhaps darkness may be the covering thereof, in sympathy with the pure seed in the hearts of others; and thy conflicts and exercises may be many and va- rious. Notwithstanding this may be thy fre- quent experience, I trust thou art, at other times, admitted to that peaceful retreat, where the Lord's table is spread with the dainties of his own house, and which is an ample compensa- tion fur many deep probations. And I believe thou wilt be favoured with a continuance of the like sustaining power : for truly he is not wanting in compassion to his depending dedi- cated children ; but, unto such, a morsel of food will be handed in due season. "* * of tliis friend, Josepli Brown, there is a very pleasant account; see Piety Promoteil, part lO, by J. G, Bevan, 1810. Editor. 6ti SOME ACCOUNT OP CHAPTER V. 9th Month, 1796, to the 3d Month, 1798. //(/• brother William's marriage, S^c— Visits some meet- ings in company with S.Harrison andS. Birkbeck. — Deep conflict of mind. — Visit to the Principality of Wales, S^-c. — Yearly meeting at Welch Pool. — Coal- hrook Dale. — Left her sister Ann at London yearly meeting, — Joined her again at Plaistow. — Visits Hertfordshire, ^ c. — Macclesfield quarterly meeting. Wrexham in Wales. — Account of their visit to the Principality — Melksham — is ill there—goes to Ciren~ cester and returns home. — A dream. — Settles in her nczv habitation. In the ninth month this year, 1 796, my bro- ther William married my beloved friend Ann Tiike. Previously to their marriage, they kindly proposed my continuing a resident in their family after it ; but, on considering the subject, I felt most easy to decline their affec- tionate offer : though not without an intention of staying widi them for some months after their union ; which I accordingly did. Our friend Sarah Harrison, of Philadelphia, accompanied by Sarah Birkbeck, of Settle, in Yorkshire, was, in the latter part of this year, MARY ALEXANDER. 57 in our county. Besides visiting all the meet- ings of fiieuds, she had many among other peo- ple, and divers of them where no friends meet- ings had been remembered before. Having looked towards some of the places with a simi- lar prospect, before her coming this way, it was relieving to my mind, to have the opportunity of accompanying her, and her companion, to several of the said meetings; and also to a few in Essex. In the third month, 1797, I niet 'them again, in Essex, was with them at two or three more public meetings, and was favoured in the close to feel peace. Very soon after these engagements, my mind had to experience much inward want, indeed to pass through a season of deep conflict, and of sore exercise ; wherein it seemed to me as ihough my soul's enemy was let loose, with an unlimited power to buffet me at his will. Never had I known my faith and conlidence in Infinite Goodness so nearly overcome before. Almost continually, for several weeks, was my mind in a state comparable to behig " Tossed with tempest, and not comforted,"* and left without x>ne grain of lively hope, which might have been * Isaiah liv, 11, '58 SOME ACCOUNT OF as an anclior^to the sdiil. Some of my near connexions were sensible that my situation vas a ti ynig one, yet none knew how bitter was the anguish I felt, but He who knows all things. My health became impaired, and, at times, I was ready to conclude 1 should sink away mider the exercise I felt; though without any degree of cheering hope that my sufferings would end with my natural life. Could I have once believed this, oh ! how should I have co- veted such a release. But, perad venture, had this belief been experienced, I might have' felt less ] ability to have sought after patient resignation to bear the present trial ; though I am fully convinced, I was often too apt to cast away my conlidence in holy help ; and not enough careful to abide at all times on the watch- tower; nor always willmg enough to stay in the Avard this wliole dark night. Alas ! how hardly does the creaturely part bend to suffering. During tliis season of close exercise witii me, my sister Ann at our monthly meeting in the thu d month, opened a prospect she had, of pay- ing a religious visit to the Principality of Wales, and counties adjacent. For several years, I had had a similar prospect, and, some ALEXANDER, months before, had believed we should unite in this journey ; yet, now, all former views were closed, and I could see no way to move for- ward; and earnestly did I covet to be preserved from warming myself by the sparks of my own kindling, or putting forth my hand unbidden in so important a work : yet having passed through Bome very trying seasons, I was made willing thereby to be any thing or nothing, so that I might a^ain experience, " the Lord to lift up his countenance upon me, and give me peace."* .When I felt any thing like a willingness of this sort, oh ! how did the cruel accuser endeavour to insinuate, that I had already overacted my part, in being too forward to lend a hand in what I had thought the Lord's work ; and thereby had incurred his displeasure, wounded my friends, and brought this state of spiritual death over my own mind : but boundless mercy was pleased now, sometimes to afford a little portion of his calming influence, which, in some dtgree, stilled the boisterous waves and enabled me, at times, to look forward with hope, that I should again be permitted to experience the aniniating rays of " the Sun of righteousness,''|' to dispel the thick darkness in which my poor mind had been, and still was enveloped, f Nt'MB. vi, 26. + Max., iv, 2. V 60 SOlVrE ACCOUNT OP In this situation I w ent to our monthly meet- ing in the toui ih month, where I ventured to inform my friends what my former views had been, and that wiihni a short time they had ap- peared to be reviving, but 1 thought tiiem still so faint, 1 desned to cast myself entirely upon them to judge for me. This 1 did under a greater sense of weakness than I had ever opened any thing of the like nature before; yet it so far made its way with the meeting, as to get a liberation at that time, for me to visit the Principality of Wales, and counties adjacent. My sister Ann and myself, left home toge- ther, accompanied by my brother William, on the iGtli of the lourth month, and went to Bury; in- tending for the Welch yearly meeting, to be held the following week, at Welchpool, in Mont- gomeryshire. On oiU' way we passed thi ough Kettering, in Northamptonshire, and Coalbrook J/ale, in Sliroj)«hire, and attended meetings there. On thud day, the <25th of 4th month, we got to Welchpool; and on fourth, tifth, and sixth days was held the yearly meeting there. At the close thereof, not seeing our way as we had expected, to proceed in our visit to the Princi- pality, we concluded to return to Coalbrook MARY ALEXANDER. Ci Dale, and accordingly got back to Shrewsbury on seventh day. My sister stopped by the way to have a meeting that afternoon, at a small village yve passed through in going; but, finding myself very unwell, and not feeling any thing in my own mind for the meeting, 1 went on ; and left her in company with our dear friends Deborah. Darby, R. Young, and others. On first day we attended a morning meeting at Shrewsbury, in which I was favoured to feel a little strength, to relieve my mind, of an exer- cise I had felt for soine individuals then present whom I had seen, and felt for before at Welch- pool. In tlie evening yve had a public meeting, y^hich for a considerable time yvas very exer- cising, yet in the close afforded some satisfac- ■tion. On second day, we came back to Coal- brook Dale. Third day, we attended the week- day meeting there, in which neither of us had any thing to communicate; but in the course of the meeting I thought I saw clearly, that we must go from house to house among them ; and, after meeting, T menlioned it to my sister, who I then found, had had a similar prospect. Tliis evening yve had a public meeting at a neighbouring village. From fourth day the 2i. 6a SOME ACCOUNT OF of the fifth month, to fourth day the 10th of the same, in company with our beloved friend R. Young, we visited the families of friends in the meetings of Newdale and Coalbrook Dale, in which my brother, who was still with us, united; and his company and help were very acceptable to us. A few sittings I was pre- vented attending from indisposition ; and in some others I sat under great suffering, both of body and mind, so much so that I w as, at times, ready to doubt the rectitude of my having left home ; yet I had, at others, the satisfaction of seeing my beloved companions were rightly en- gaged, which tended to bear up my drooping mind; having been in some sort the means of encouraging them to give up to this service. Iliough, in the performance thereof, I was but of little help to them ; yet, in the close, I be- lieve none of us had cause to repent giving up to what we had apprehended to be a required duty, rifth day the 11th, I staid at Coalbrook Dale, being very unwell ; and my sister had a i^ublic meeting at a place at a short distance, and returned to me after it. Sixth day. We had not, either of us, been able to come at any satisfactory clearness re- JtfARY ALEXANDER. specting our ruture movements, till this morn- ing, when I tliought a little light arose in my mind, with a pointing towards Cheshire, which we were glad to accept. Our dear friends D. Darby and R. Young intending to set out this af- ternoon, for London yearly meeting, and having appointed a public meeting to be held this even- ing at Bridgenorth, we accompanied them there, expecting the next day to part with them at that place ; and take meetings from thence in our way into Cheshire, and so into Wales. But my sister not feeling easy to part with them there, we went on with them till second day, and parted w ith them at Campden. After this we again moved on towards Waleg, and for a few dajs pretty satisfactorily; till my sister's mind became so closely arrested for the approaching yearly meeting to be held in Loiv- don, that it seemed safest to turn about, and endeavour to get there as early as we could, with taking meetings hi our way,* We arrived in * To be tlins led about, and so frequently turned from the object at which they were aiming, as was, on several oceasions, their experience in tiiis journey, proved no small trial to my beloved sister; yet, I have reason to believe, tliis humiliating dispensation, was peculiarly and lastjngly r 3 ■64 SOME Account ov London two days after the commencement of the yearly meethig ; but I did not feel my mind at all bound to it, and still found my health, at times, much affected, therefore, after staying one day in London, I returned home, where I passed about 10 days in peace, and found my health much recruited. On second day, the 5th of sixth month, I left liome again and went to Colchester, where I met my brother William, who had parted with sister Ann that morning, at or near London, and was then on his way home. On third day evening I met my sister at Plaistow. Sixth day we left the neighbourhood of Lon- don, and went into Hertfordshire, agreeably to a prospect I had before I left home this time : having expected it might be right tor us to take a few meetings in that county, and from thence proceed pretty directly for Wales. But our views were again protracted ; for after we got into that quarterl) meeting, my sister felt her mind instrnrtive to her raind. To move in a feeling of weak- ness, and with such a portion of light, as coul 1 not reflect its beams on distant olyei-is, but only just mark ttip present step with a safe degree of clearness, thougli very trying to the ceature, teaches humble and luU depeudance on the Creator. Editor. MARY ALEXANDER. 65 engaged to go through it, and also to visit some other of the midland counties, previously to our entering Wales. Though I did not feel my mind so much boimd to this prospect, yet 1 could not see my way to leave her; and therefore thinking it most consistent with gospel order, we unitedly ad- dressed our monthly meeting for further creden-i tials, and obtained the concurrence of our friends at home, to proceed as in the openings of truth might appear right.* After visiting divers counties, on the 13th and 14th of the ninth month, we attended the quarterly meeting held at Macclesfield, for Cheshire and Staffordshire. There we opened our prospect of visiting the Principality of "Wales ; hoping some of our brethren might feel bound to accompany us; expecting to be en- gaged in public meetings in many parts very distant from any friends. And our much- valued friend Joseph Storrs, from Chesterfield in » Their peculiar situation excited much sympathy in the monthly meeting ; and being attended with a feeling of ncii unity with tlieii- extended concern, their friends were induced to "jvo them such a certificate as would fiiUy liber- ate them to any service iu this laud, Editor. SOME ACCOUNT aF Derbyshire, being present, felt a willingness to accompany us ; as did two friends of that quar^ terly meeting, George Jones and Olive Sim&, ' who all met us at Chester, on the 23d. On the 25th we entered Wales, at the place I had had a prospect of more than four months before, when we were at Coalbrook Dale ; and that evenmg had a meetnig there, viz. ^Vrexhana in Denbighshire. This meeting was large; and I believe there was a great variety of states among the people then gatliered ; some of whom were seriously disposed. Indeed I think in the future movements through this Principality, in a more general way, w e met w ilh a larger pro- portion of religious, seeking minds, than inmost of the counties we visited in England. Yet many even of those, we had often to fear, were too much seeking the liviiTg among the dead ; not enough inward in their search after durable riches : nor enough acquainted with the one es- sential baptism of the Holy Ghost and fire ; which, if sutTered to operate, would consume all that is of an unsubstantial nature. However, to meet with here and there one v\ho was so far submitting to bear the cross of Christ, as to become willing to follow him, not only out of MARY ALEXANDER. 67 many of the vanities of the world, but also out of many unsubstantial rites and ceremonies, and who was seeking him, where alone he is to be found, in the secret of the heart ; was con- soling to our often drooping minds. I trust, some there arc, M'ho, if they are faithful to the day of small things, will, in due time, be made rulers over more ; know their spiritual borders enlarged, and their acquaintance with the be- loved of souls increased. That this may become their happy experience, is what I often coveted when with them, and oft-times since, when far distant from them. We were in Wales about eight weeks, were in all the counties both of North and South Wales ; and, besides visiting the few meetings of friends, had upwards of forty public meetings, many of them in places where it could not be remembered that any friends meetings had been held before. We very generally n)et with civil treatment from the iidiabitants ; and tra- velled nearly eight hundred and fifty miles in that mountainous country. Soon after we got into Wales, for nearly two weeks, at times, I was very unwell in my health ; 6.S SOME ACCOUNT OF "whereby I M as prevented attending two public meetings on the Isle of Anglesea, and two meet- ings of friends on a first day at Llwyndw in Merio- nethshire. Here our whole company was de- tained several days at the house of our kind friend Henry Owen, on account of my indispo- sition : But after a little rest there, I was enabled to go through the remaining part of this close travel in good health. My dear sister M'as favoured to experience a continuance of health during the whole time; but, near the close, she w as permitted to know a very trying depression of spirits, so much so as nearly to disqualify her for any public service, which greatly added to my trials: yet I was mercifully strengthened to keep up both in body and mind, to the end of our engagements in that Princi- pality. When we had finished our visit iu Wales, I believe, in sympathy with her, I soon got into the same situation ; so that it seemed safest for us to leave a few meetings we had once ex- pected to take in Herefordshire, and go di- rectly from Leominster, in that county, to jSIellc- sham, in Wiltshire, Our dear brother Samuel and his daughter Lucy, were there, on a visit to his daughter Martha ; who a few w eeks before had MARY ALEXANDER, 69 ■been married to Thomas JettVeys of tliat place. We arrived at tlicir house on first day evening, liie 2()tli of the eleventh month. Our kmd companions left us at different times; O. Sims at Caermarthen in South Wales, on the ^Oth of the tenth month; G. Jones at Leominster, on the 23d of the eleventh mouth ; and J . Storrs after we got to Melksham. Very soon after we got to Melksham, my mind was much relieved from the deep depression I had felt for some days previously to our getting there : but my sister was rather longer be- fore she experienced the same relief ; yet, in a few days, she was favoured also to feel the de- pression much removed, and a pointmg in her iiund towards VVarmnister, a place in the neigh- bourhood, at which she had missed having a public meeting when she was in the county a considerable time before. Ihe meeting was appointed on sixth day evening, the 1st of the twelfth month, which 1 attended, and \Ae were accompanied by our dear brother S. A. In this meeting and after it, 1 was very unwelL ^,\e got back to Melksham the next day, where I took some suitable medicine; wlacli did not aiTord so much relief as to enable me to attend .their meeting on first day. 70 SOME ACCOUNT OF III the evening my brother finding me more unwell, was desirous of my takmg some medical ad% ice ; which I submitted to for his and the rest of my relations' satisfaction. That night I was very ill indeed ; sometimes I was almost ready to conclude it might be the final close of all things here ; especially when I considered the deep conflict of mind which both my sister and myself had lately experienced ; and that my mind had been entirely relieved from any further prospect of religious service ever since I left Wales ; not only during that very trying dispensation, but also now, when fa- voured with a very different one ; wherein all was serenity and peace. In this situation, had it not been for the trial I apprehended it would be to my dear niece, Martha Jeffreys, to have a circumstance so awful take place under her roof, so soon after her settlement there ; I could ■willingly, yer, I think I may say, gladly have exchanged mortality for immortality at that time ; if it had been consistent with the good pleasure of Him in whom is all power. He is able to cause even a sick bed to become plea- sant ; yea desirable, if in that situation the poor finite understanding is more expanded; and the MARY ALEXANDER. 7^ inind more quickened to behold the manellous dealings of au all-wise Creator! This I think I can with humble gratitude acknowledge was, at times, my experience on this bed of sickness : and I was enabled to desire, whether life or death should be my portion, that Jlis zcill might be done. However, after a .few days I got so much better, as to think of moving from Melksham, when my brother and sister were at liberty so to do, who, during my illness, had engaged together m visiting tli£ families of friends there. After taking an affectionate leave of our kind relations, w ho had very tenderly cared for me in my illness, we all left their house on fourth day the 13th, and went to Cirencester in Gloucester- shire; where we were kindly received by our friends Samuel and Sarah Bowley. The next morning my brother Samuel and his daughter Lucy, set off for home, and left my sister and my- self there. Tliough I was favoured to bear travcl- Jing the day before, twenty-seven miles, with less fatigue than might have been expected; yet, .after having parted with my brother and niece, 1 was that day very unwell. Continuing so, and not feeling any command to go forth again into the field of labour; I believed it was safest for e 72 SOME ACCOUNT OF me to decline attending any of the meetings in that neighbourhood, with my sister, who left me for a few days, and, accompanied by Ann Bowley, visited some places adjacent, and returned to me agaiii. As I did not improve in my health by longer rest, but rather grew weaker, we thought it best to inform our relations at home how we were circumstanced; and my brother William came to us at very short notice, intending to continue with his wife till she saw her way clear to return home. My dear brother and sister D. and H. Alexander very kindly came to us in a few days after him, intending to accompany me home as speedily as my very w eak situation would admit of my travelling. On fourth day, the 3d of the first month, 1798, my brothers and sisters, and myself, all left Cirencester, where I had been very affectionately nursed for three weeks, at the house of my kind friends before mentioned, and went to Burford. The next day W. and A. A. left me there; and the day following, accompanied by my brother Dykes and his wife, 1 went twenty -nine miles further on my way home. On the 9th we reached Walworth; whefc I was taken more unwell MAHY ALEXANDEir. 73 again, having rather mended in travelling till this time ; and was detained there till seventh day the 13th, at the house of our friends llichard and Jane Harris ; who, with tlieir whole family, manifested much affectionatd kindness, of which I desire ever to retain a grateful remembrance. On third day the l6th, we reached Needham ; where my mind was fa- voured to partake of a portion of enriching peace; and a tribute of tliankful acknowledg- ment was raised in my heart to tiie great Dis- penser of every good; My health gradually improved from this time; yet it was some mouths before I fully regained my usual strength. One night while I was ill at Cirencester, I dreamed that I had departed this life, and was admitted into happiness; but I met with only one whom I knew or had ever known in the body, and she, I was told, was just admitted, and was to continue there, for she had finished her day's work ; but as I had not, I nuist return to the body, and if faithful to vhat was mani- fested from time to time, I should be admitted again v hen the work appointed me to do was G 2 74 SOME ACCOUNT OF fully accomplished. My mind being awfully impressed with what had occurred in my sleep, in the course of the next day I told it to Sarah Bowley. Very soon after, we heard that the friend whom I had seen in my dream was very dangerously ill ; and, before I got home, I was informed of her decease ; and I have no reason to doubt but she is admitted into everlasting rest and peace. Oh, that the blessing of pre- servation may be my experience, that so the place prepared may be happily miue, when time to me shall be no more ! At our monthly meeting in the third month,, niy sister Ann and myself gave up our certifi- cates. And the day following, viz. on fourth day the 7tli of the third month, 1798, I entered into my present habitation ; which was merci- fully permitted to be a very peaceful honje, for some weeks after I first settled therein. MABY ALEXANDER. 75 CHAPTER VI. 5th Monti), 1798, to the 11th Month, 1300. London yearly meeting.— Sundry jneetings in Suffolk.— Endures a very frying dispensation. — Visits Tixet shall monthly meeting, SfC. — Joins Elizabeth Coggeshall in visiting sundry places in Norfolk, Suffolk, Leicester- shire, Derbyshire, Nottinghamshire, and Yorkshire.^-' Returns home. At our monthly meeting in the fifth month, i 798, 1 mentioned a prospect I had of appointing- a few pubhc meetings in my way to or from London yearly meeting ; in which my sister Ann united w ith me ; and we were liberated, by our friends, to proceed therein as w ay might open. In the seventh month, I acco|npani('d mr brother Sanmel in some public meetings on the eastern side of our county ; and at the close w as favoured to feel much solid satisfaction. Oh ! how has my soul longe G 3 16 SOME ACCOUNT OP might become more and more acquainted with him, through a willingness to centre unto the pure principle placed in the secret of their own hearts. Thus they might sensibly experience the privileges of the glorious gospel dispensa- tion ; and know an establishment on the un- changeable and invincible rock Christ Jesus; and then they would also know him to go before them, and to be their rearward. 1799- On the second of the first month this year, our friend Sarah Harrison, from Americaj who was then on a religious visit to Europe,, and who had, a few weeks before, returned from Germany, came to my house, and was confined with nie, by indisposition, till the 9th. of the fourth month following; except going to Jpsvvich for two days. Great part of the time she was much tried, not only with bodily suf-- fering, but also with spiritual poverty : yet, I believe, there were seasons in vluch she experi- enced the Shepherd of Israel, the great Bishop of souls, to arise for her deliverance, whereby she was renewedly enablcfl to praise his holy name. I was permitted to be her close com- panion in sufifering; but not in rejoicing; for, I thin}*.; from the day after she first came undei: MAHY ALEXANDER. my roaf, until the day I parted with her at Ipswich, I was not once made sensible of the smallest degree of divine consolation. Indeed such a total cessation, as to any visible appear- ance of spiritual life, I have but very seldom experienced; though my mind was not so deeply exercised as at some other tunes. Often did I fear, lest I should dwindle into a state which might be compared to that which the church of the Laodiceans was described to be in, " neither hot nor cold,"* and that consequently I must be in danger of receiving the same awful sentence. But, just before we parted, which was on the llth of the fourth mouth, at Ipswich, I was permitted "to know the veil, which had long eclipsed the sun of righteousness from my view, to be removed ; and ability was mercifully af- forded to offer a tribute of thanksgiving and praise to the great Author of all good, and to implore his divme protection over us when far separated ; and I was favoured to return home in peace. Sarah Harrison left Europe within a few months, having been from home,. I think, nearly seven years. In the latter part of this year, I was exercised for some inontlis, under the weight of a reli- • Rev, iii. 15. SOME ACCOUNT OP gious prospect of visiting the families of friends in Tivetshall monthly meeting, with some other engagements in that neighbourhood ; and, in the 1st month, 1 800, finding my mind more closely ar- rested with this concern, accompanied with what 1 believed a clear intimation of the time to move in the same; I ventured to mention it to my friends, in the second month, and obtained their concurrence to proceed in my visit, as, in the- pointings of truth, way should open for it. On the 12th of the second month, accom- panied by my dear brother Samuel, I went to Long Stratton ; the next day attended Tivetshall monthly meeting held at Tasburglj, when I opened my prospect to friends, and in it found much relief. After meeting w e w ent to ThomaS: Broadbank's, whose house was my agreeable lodgmg during my stay in that meeting. Sixtlv day the 14th, my brother w ent to Norwich, and, accompanied by T. B. I began the arduous en- gagement in prospect. Seventh day, I con- tinued the visit to families, and my brother returned from Norwich. First day he staid,- with me, and in the evening I had his company very acceptably in two families. Second day be left me, and returned home. MARY ALEXANDER. 79 From this time until fifth day the 27th, I was closely engaged in gomg through the remaining families in Tasburgh meeting, and those in Ti- vetshall. First day, the 2d of third month, 1 was at Tivetshall meeting. Second and third day, I sat in the few families constituting Diss meeting. Fourth day attended the week-day meeting there, and after it, contrary to my expectation, I felt full liberty to return home, which I did that af- ternoon. I was favoured with a peaceful ride borne, and felt thankful for the present une^L" pected release from further labour. The next morning, my mind became renewedly exercised concerning the inhabitants of some vil- lages where I had been, in the course of the family visit ; with a clear prospect when and where to appoint the first meeting, though with- out any uneasiness at coming home as I did. However, 1 kept my feelings to myself, until the day following, and then acquainted my near connexions, that I had a prospect of appointing a meeting at Yaxley, the next first day evening ; which did not appear to be any surprise to them, they having had reason to expect that some further engagements than had yet taken place^ mi^ht be recjuired of me. Accompanied 80 SOME ACCOUNT OF by Tliomas Broadbank, my brother Samuel, and other relatives, on first day afternoon, the 9th of the third month, I went to Yax- ley, where we w ere met by several friends of Tivetshall monthly meeting, and were favoured with a large and solid meeting. After it, T. my brother Samuel, and myself, went to Diss. Isext evening ve had a meeting with the in- habitants of Scole and Dicklesburg ; and after it went to the house of our kind friends John and Ann Holmes. On third day, a meeting at Shottisham, to my own mind, \\ as a very re- lieving opportunity, feeling divine support in a very precious manner to be near, which was cause of thankfulness. After it we went to Thomas Broadbank's. On fourth day we at- tended Tasburgh week-day meeting, which, though small, was a relieving and strengthening season to my mind. I was very unexpectedly, in the latter part of the meeting, led to address an indivichial present, whose family 1 had been in, when in that meeting before, but did not at that time feel any openness to express any thing to him ; though my mind w as closely exercised on his account. He was, in this meeting, much humbled, and 1 covet for him that through faith- MARY ALEXANDER, 81 fulness to known duty, his last days may be his best days. That evening we had a meeting at Hempnall, vhere was a great variety of states ; a few solid people, and many of a very different description. To the latter in a very remarkable manner, the extension of divine goodness and mercy was evidently manifested, to save them from destruc- tion, if there w as but a willingness to accept of the means of purification. " Come note, and let us reason together, saith the Lord,"* was awfully sounded amongst them. On fifth day, the 13th, we attended Tivetshall monthly meet--, ing, which was a season owned by the great Master of all rightly gathered assemblies. After the last meeting my brother Samuel ;and myself returned home in peace. And I have cause to bear in remembrance my heavenly Father's goodness, in supporting and carrying me through those engagements; having to ac- knowledge that although I did go out weeping, 1 was permitted to return with joy. I have reason to believe my coming home before I had those public meetings was right, in order to have ^ny dear brother's company; yet, if I had seen • Isaiah i. 18. S2 SOME ACCOUNT OP before I got home, with clearness, that T was to return so soon ; it would, I suppose, have telt rather trying in prospect. To be enabled to go on day after day, just moving in the present ability aftbrded, without being unprofitably anxious to see more of the work at once, ihaa is consistent with the great blaster's will to un- fold, 1 have always found, is not more the duty than the interest of his truly dependant servants; if I have ever known this happy state of mind : though for want of " letting patience have her perfect work,"* I have oft-times increased my trials and exercises, I believe beyond what might have been designed for me to endure for the work's sake. After such feeble eflforts to promote the cause of truth, what a mercy it is, to be favoured with any sensible evidence of the approbation of the great Minister of minis- ters ! Yet i humbly trust such was my consoling experience in the close of this visit ; and, under the humbling influence thereof, I was enabled, renewedly to acknowledge, " Hitherto hath the Lord helped me."+ In the eighth month this year, Elizabeth Coggeshall, from Newport, Rhode Island, in the course of her religious visit to Europe, came to » James i. 4. j 1 Sam. vii, 12. MARY ALEXATS'DER. 85 Needham, accompanied by Abigail Pimm of Loudon, who left her here and returned home. When I first heard of their arrival, and that A. Pimm was likely to leave E. Coggeshall immedi- ately, it very forcibly impressed my mind, that it vould be right for me to unite with the latter, ia some part of lier future prospects ; and, before I saw her, it was, I apprehended, pretty clearly manifested to my mind, that I should join her in Norfolk, and continue with her until she reached Yorkshire. This I kept to myself wholly, for a few days, while she remained in this neighbourhood; and before she left it, I found my sister Ann had a prospect of accom- panying Elizabeth for the present : but upon our opening our view s to each other, hers ap- peared to close where mine began. In the ninth month, I informed my friends of my prospect of joining our friend E. Coggeshall ibr a while, and received their concurrence. Un •seventh day, the (ith of this month, accompanied by my brother Samuel, I went to Tasburgh, Isext morning, at Wymoudham, We met E. -Coggeshall and my sister Ann ; also my broiher 'William, who went to meet his wife a few days before. After attending the meeting there^ wc H 84 SOME ACCOUNT OF all went to one held at Mattishall in tlie evening". After this meeting my brother William and his wife went towards home ; and my brother Samuel, E. Coggeshall, and myself, accompanied by our friend 'Ihomas Broadbank, went on to Dereham. On second day my brother left us, and returned home, and lliomas, Elizabeth, and myself, went to Holt, where we intended having a meetijig with friends that evening. The friend's liouse where we were to take up our quarters, being out of the town, and a con- trary way to that which we entered, we Avere obliged to ride quite through it , and my mind became so much interested on account of the in- habitants at large, that it did not appear right to conceal my prospect from my dear companion, and she uniting with it, public invitation was given, and we had a satisfactory meeting, in which we were favoured with the overshadowing wing of divine mercy ; and under the influence thereof, ability was afforded to minister to divers states and conditions present. The greatest part of the public labour devolved upon Elizabeth : but I felt my mind in a peculiar manner engaged for the welfare of some individual, who, like the MARY ALEXANDER. 85 prodigal son, had " wasted his substance with riotous hving ;"* believing' our heavenly Father was still graciously disposed to receive such a one in mercy, if there were a willingness to return unto him. At the time 1 was speaking, I had not any knowledge who it was I was ad- dressing; but after meeting, I thought I could have lain my hand on the head of an individual, and have said, " Thou art the man ;" | but as it did not appear a divine requisition so to do, I believed it best to leave him to the unflatterinar witness in his own mind. On thiid day, the 9th, we were at Wells monthly meeting; fourth day, Swaffham week- day meeting; fifth day, Lynu monthly meeting. Sixth 'day wc had an appointed meeting at Wareham in the morning; and one in the even- ing at Brandon ; and on seventh day, an appointed meeting at INIildenhall. First day, 14th, we attended Thetford meeting; and afterwards went to Bury. On second and third day, the quarterly meeting was held there. After our quarterly meeting, my dear E. Cog- geshall, not seeing her way from Bury into • Luke xv. 13, + 2 Sam. xii, 7, H 2 8G SOME ACCOUNT OF Leicestersliire, I mentioned a place we passed ihrongh in Norfolk, which liad dwelt pretty much \\ ith me during my stay at Bury, believ^ iug it would be right for me to have a meeting with the inhabitants there, viz. Stoke. This acknowledgment from me, soon cleared her way ; and we made it known to our friends, and had a meeting appointed at that place on fourth day evening, the 17lh, which proved a memora- ble opportunity. I believe it was a time of precious visitatimi to many of the inhabitants of that place and neighbourhood. And though it was somewhat more than usually trying to me to propose this meeting, considering myself set out with one, who, I expected, would generally have to lead the way ; yet, after it was over, the reward I was permitted to feel in my ow* mind, was a very full compensation for what I had passed through before it : indeed 1 think I have but seldom felt such an uninterrupted flow of peace, as was my happy experience through that evening. Fifth day, ISth. We went this morning to Wareham, with my brother Samuel, who had kindly accompanied us the preceding day from Bury. After breakfast, we had a precious sea- MARY ALEXANDER- 87 son of solid retirement in tlie friend's family there ; and after it took leave of them, and my dear brother, he returning home from this place. We proceeded towards Leicester ; and, on sixth day evening, had a meeting at Oakham, in Rutlandshire. First day, 21st, we were at Lei- cester, to good satisfaction ; my mind was nearly boimd to some exercised minds in that place. Second day, we had a meeting at Hinkley, and afterwards returned to Leicester. On third day evening, the select quarterly meeting was held there ; and next day the quar- terly meeting. A mournful time it was to me; occasioned, I believe, by my withholding more than was meet, which tended to poverty, and distress of mind; yet I think it was more from a preference I felt for others, whose public labour I esteemed before my own, than from any un- willingness to offer the food given me to hand, though it might have appeared but as tlie barley loaf; for that with a little of the divine blessing, doubtless would have proved sufficient to have fed those, for w horn it might be designed ; which was my painful reflection when too late. After a time of sore conflict before we left (lie family therc; where >ve had been very kindly enter- Ho J 88 SOME ACCOUNT OF tained several days, a little ability was merci- fully afFoi ded me, to intercede for them and our- selves, that we might all be enabled so to pass our time of sojourning here, as at last to know un adniitta^ice where sorrow is no more. And matchless goodness was pleased, in the close, to convey intelligibly to my secret feeling, " It i& enough and I left Leicester in peace. On fifth day we had a meeting at Lough- borough ; and in the afternoon went to Castle Donington, to the house of our valuable^ ancient friends George and Ruth Fallows, ■where we enjoyed a peaceful evening w ith them, and were much comforted and encouraged by dear Rutli's instructive company and conversa- tion. On sixth day we had a meeting at Castle Donington, in which Elizabeth had some public labour amongst a people, many of whom ap- peared to be too much strangers to tl)e precious privileges of these gospel days, although most of them were pi ofessiiig to be worshippers of the great object of adoration in spirit and in truth; so that it proved an exercising season; but a little opportunity of solid retirement in the family aft^r dinner, enal)lcd us to leave the place with relieved minds; and that evening we had a meeting at Derby. MARY ALEXANDER. 89 Ou first day, the 28th, we were at Notting- ham meetuig in the morning, where, after sitting a while in close exercise, a little ability was af- forded me to cast off my burden. I was per- mitted to feel relief when I took my seat again, and my dear E. Coggeshajl had a very lively testimony afterwards, much to my comfort; and, as far as relates to ourselves, I believe we were both favoured to partake of a portion of peace at the close of the meeting; yet, I had much to feai- that the word preached, to some states in particular, would prove altogether un- availing. Yet, oh ! what a mercy, amidst the many discouraging circumstances which we are liable to experience, when passing along from place to place in gospel bonds, to know that the reward of our labour is not confined to the reception our mission meets with from man, but is proportioned to our obedience to Him, who sees and knows the hearts of all men. At Nottingham, Joseph Marriage, wiio had accompanied us from Bury, left us, and re- turned home. That evenin"' we had a meeting at Mansfield. On second day morning we went to Chesterfield, to the house of my much esteemed friend Joseph Storrs ; and in the after- 90 SOME ACCOUNT OP noon we had a meeting there ; which to me was a very gloomy season ; but dear E. Coggeshall had acceptable service both in testimony and supplication. On third day we had a meeting at Furnace, where my mind was pretty closely exercised for two individuals w ho came into the »] meeting rather late, and had but little appear- ance of being members of our society. Upon their entering into the meeting house, I thought I felt a flow of gospel solicitude raised in my mind on their account ; particularly did I feel for the female, and believe it was a time of humbling instruction to her mind : I wish it may prove of lasting advantage to her. On fourth day we had a meeting at Breach, which was measurably owned by the great Shepherd of Israel. On fifth day, we travelled through a mountainous country; and in the course of this day, as we passed tlnough some small villages, my mind was so attracted tow ards the inhabitants of them, that I believe, had we been free from previous engagements by other meetings being appointed for us, I should have felt best satisfied to have acknowledged it to my dear companion ; but as that was the case, I Jtept niy feedings to myself, la this instance I MARY ALEXANDER. 91 believe it was needful for meetings to be fixed a little beforehand, on account of the particular situation of some places thereabouts; but, in general, I have found, in any services of this sort, in which I have been engaged, that it was safest, and indeed was my incumbent duty, as much as possible, to live as it were one day at once. On sixth day we had a meeting at Mony Ash, and after it returned to Chesterfield. On seventh day morning, before we left the hospi- table roof of our kind friends Joseph and Mary Storrs, v, e were permitted to experience a little season of retirement, wherein, I trust, our minds were humbled together before Hini, whose ten- der mercies are over all his works. Joseph Storrs Avent with us to a meeting at Retford that even- ing. On first day, the 5th of the tenth month, we went to Blyth in the morning; and in the even- ing had a meeting at Barnby Moor, a small village we had passed through in the morning. It was a considerable trial to me to give up to appoint this meeting, finding some friends were apprehensive it would not be likely to piove satisfactory. One objection appeared to be the smallness of the place, though 1 wished invitar 02 SOME ACCOUNT OV tion to be given beyond the village, if a situa- tion large enough could be procured to admit of extending it further ; but what weighed more with me than any other obstacle, was the diffi- culty which our kind friend Joseph Storrs felt about its accomplishment; yet, unless he could have said he believed it best for us to give up the meeting, I did not feel it safe to do so, without making some attempt to have one, my dear E. Coggeshall being fully resigned to it, though she felt nothing towards it herself. We had, m the end, to acknowledge the goodness and mercy of our heavenly Father, who, blessed be his great and glorious name, does not send his children and servants a warfare at their own charge, but is mercifully pleased, sometimes when they appear to be reduced to the greatest extremity, to prove himself to be strength in their weakness. Our dear friend J. Storrs, before he parted with us this evening, told me he was glad he had been at that meeting ; which acknowledgement, added to the peaceful sere- nity before felt, caused the rest of the evening to be a season of humbling gladness. On second and third day, we travelled to York ; but before we got there; E. Coggeshall MARY ALEXANDER, 93 l^egan to be apprehensive it would be best for us to atteud a monthly meeting to be held at Warnsworth the fifth day following ; and after we got to York, the w eight increas- ing, we concluded to return. After the meet- ing at York on fourth day, accompanied by Henry Tuke, we went part of the way; and on fifth day morning we got in seasonable time to the meeting at Warnsworth, which was a low time w itii me ; but dear E. C. had acceptable service, in the meeting for worship. When I found that Elizabeth had a prospect of attend- ing this monthly meeting, as 1 began now to feel very near the end of my present mission, I thought it probable some friend amongst them might find, at least, a religious liberty to join her for a w hile ; and, therefore, in the w omen's meeting, I mentioned how I was circumstanced, and wished friends present to endeavour to feel Avhether the lot did not fall amongst some of them, to unite with our beloved friend ; but no one appearing to see it their place so to do, I ffetumed with her to York. We w ere at Y ork on first day the 1 2th ; and I was able to rejoice, in ability being afforded to my dear friend to labour in her great Master!s 94 SOME ACCOUNT OF cause, though it ^vas a very low time with me. As no companion ofttred, I did not feel satis- fied to leave her, and therefore I concluded to set out with her again on second day mornmg, in order to take some meetings in that county; expectmg we should return the following first day. We had meetings at Pickering and Malton ; were at Pickermg monthly meeting, and after- wards had meetings at Hutton in the Hole, Helmsley, Bilsdale, and Kirby, and so re- turned to York. V^ e left it again and went to Thirsk, Borrowby, and Masham. At this latter place our friend Mary Tate, of Cotting- with, near York, met us, for the purpose of uniting with Elizabeth, and that day, the 24th of the tenth month, I parted with them, after a reli- gious opportunity to be remembered with grati- tude. ISIy soul V. as poured forth in supplication to tlie Father of mercies, for the blessing of preservation, through tlie remaining part of our pilgrimage here, vhetlier we should ever be permitted to meet again in this mutable state or not ; that so we might be prepared to join the just of all generations, whenever the midnight ciy should be heard, of, " Behold the bride- MARY ALEXANDER. 95 groom Cometh, go ye out to meet liim."* My beloved friend and her new companion, went to a meeting appointed for them that even- ing at Leyburn, and I returned to Tliirsk ; and on the way, by the food received before we se- parated, was sweetly sustained, to the gladden- ing of my heart. Indeed for some days after, my mind was preserved in such a state of tran- quillity, as was cause of thankfulness. On sixth day I returned to Yoik ; wliere I staid until fifth day the 30th, and left it in com- pany with several friends. Eleventh month 2d, first day, we attended friends' meeting at Derby, where we were joined by J. and E. Hoyland, and with them we travelled to Hitchin, which place ive reached on fourth day evening, the 5th. Here I was met by my brother Dykes, who ac- companied me home on third day, the 11th of the 11th month. After parting witli my beloved companion E. C. I thought it a privilege to have the com- pany of my much-valued friends before men- tioned ; and that my dear brother was disposed t» jneet me. when I parted with them. After I * Mat. kxv. 6, 96 SOME ACCOUNT OT got home, though I left it this time, more from, au apprehension of rkity to unite in sympathy with a beloved friend, than from a prospect of any religious engagement on my own account, I felt peace. And I humbly trust there were seasons experienced, wherein my dear friend and myself could feelingly acknowledge, we were bound together in gospel unity; harmoni- ously labouring for the advancement of the most noble cause, which can be advocated on earth. May it be our happy employ to celebrate it in a joyful eternity, through an unreserved dedica- tion of heart during our stay here, to the whole will of Him, who has a right to dispose of us as he sees meet. 1^ MARY ALEXANDER. 97 CHAPTER VII. 12tli ]Moinli, 1800, to the 9th Month, 1802. Concern for the youth, Sj-c— Huntingdonshire and Cambridgeshire. — Religious prospects. — Visit to Surry, Sussex and Hampshire quarterly meetings^ SfC.~— Returns home. — Visils sundry ■villages in her own county. — Burial of Isaac Brightucn. — Decease of . Previously to our quarterly meeting, lield here in the twelfth month this year, and during its sittings, my mind was dipped into a state of mourning on account of some of its members, who, I was ready to fear, through unwalthfiil- ness, had of late decRned, rather than advanced in the way which leads to enduring felicity. Many of the youth appeared on the wing, soar- ing above the pure simplicity of the truth ; and having the company of divers of these at my own house, I apprehended I felt a necessity laid upon me to intercede with the Father of mer- cies on theic behalf. I was engaged to desire that they, with many more, might be prevailed upon to choose him for their portion, and be willing to follow him in the path of unreserved dedication, which yields more substantial com- I 2 98 SOME ACCOUNT OP fort here, than any sublunary enjo}'ment can possibly do ; and affords a well-grounded hope of an admittance hereafter into unmixed hap- piness. I think I have not often felt more solid satisfaction result from an engagement of •this sort,, than I was permitted to feel that evening. 1801. In the forepart of this year I Avas of- ten closely tried concerning an individual in the station of an elder, for whom I had long en- teitained a sincere regard; but who now seemed in danger of making shipwreck of faith. At our quarterly meeting in the third month, my paiu- Kii aj.prEhensions increased, so that, in the bit- terness cf my soul, I was almost ready to utter tl^e nicurnful language, " ^\ lio shall stand :"* \»hcn a ray of holy confidence in the nevfr- failmg arm of divine sufiiciency, was mercifully vouchsafed, after this season of deep discourage- ment. It proved the .eve of a precious day in the quarterly meeting at large, wherein v e w ere graciously owned by the great Father of his people, and some of us had cause humbly to acknowledge his fatherly dealings with us, and that to Him, w ith his beloved Son, our blessed Saviour, belong all thanksgiving and praise. * PSALJI cr.ss. ?. MAHY ALEXANDER. 99 In the sixth month, my brother Samuel and myself, were a few days in Huntingdonshire and Cambridgeshire, with a friend who was then in these parts on a religious visit, and was going into Scotland. The time we were together was sliort, but feeling the uniting bond of gospel fellowship, I think we were permitted to be aa a threefold cord. We parted with this friend,, after a meet- ing at Huntingdon, in wiiich I trust, I may say> truth gave us the victory. Though it was but a small gathering, there appeared to be many different states among them, a few I believe humble travellers for the prosperity of the pure cause. May they be strengthened in every good word and work, by the mighty power of Him, who can still enable " a little one to be- come a thousand, and a small one a strong nation."* After meeting we were favoured with a baptizing time in Hannah Even's family; and a little season of retirement in Phebe Ful- ler's, before we separated. Brother Samuel and. myself reached home the next day, the 24th of sixth month. For some days after, my mind was permitted to experience an uninterrupted * Isaiah Ix, 22, T " 100 SOME ACCOUNT OP tianqullitv, \vhlch I desire to acknowledge with liumble thankfulness to Ilim, witli whom are all the blessings both of time and eternity. It afforded a morsel of nourishment for many days, during a season of close exercise and trial; Avhich it was my allotment to experience very soon after this time. First day, 23d of 8th Month, 1801. A weighty religious prospect, of which I have had a distant view, at times, for several j cars, has been the close attendant of my mind for many weeks past, and occasioned me much deep, though hidden, exercise ; not feeling li- berty to disclose it to any one; even though I have, sometimes, of late, been almost ready to apprehend I must make it public at our next monthly meeting. Whilst 1 was awfully con- templating the subject ni meeting this morning, with my mind entirely resigned to do so, if per- initted to see clearly that the tune for moving therein was come ; I heard a voice distinctly, to my spiritual faculties, declare, " A ram caught in a thicket;"* accompanied with an evidence that, at least, for the present, the will was ac- cepted for the deed. * Gen. xxii. 13. MARY ALEXANDER. 10! Immediately after it, another prospect opened to my view with great clearness, viz. to attend the ensuing quarterly meetings for Surrey, Sus- sex, and Hampshire; and to visit some particu- lar meetings and places in those counties, which appeared as a sacrifice that would be accepted, and therefore might be compared to " The ram caught in tlie thicket." First day, 30th of the eighth Month. This prospect has continued with such un- clouded clearness, that I dare not doubt its being right to move therein, if my friends are free to set me at liberty. And whether the more important concern, because more exten- sive, ever should be opened again, I desire to leave with Him, whose wisdom and knowledge cannot be searched; for assuredly his ways are past finding out. At our monthly meeting, in the ninth month, I laid before my friends the above religious prospect, and obtained their concurrence to move therein as best wisdom might direct. My brother Sanmel was, at this time, under an ap- pointment from the yearly meeting, to visit, ■svilh several other friends, the quarterly meet' 102 SOME ACCOVNT OF ings of Sussex and Surrey. His daugJiter Lucy feeling an inclination to accompany her father to the above quarterly rneetings, we all left home together on the 14th of this month, and went to Bury, in order to attend our own quarterly meeting to be held there ; intending to proceed on our journey after, it. In our way to London, we had a meeting with the inhabitants of Boxford, to pretty good satisfaction. On seventh day evening, the IQllij we got to Ryegate in Surrey, where my brother met his companions. The next day we attended the two meetings held there, and, in the evening, the quarterly meeting of ministers and elders for that county; and on second day, the quarterly meeting. We likewise attended the quarterly meeting for Sussex, and that for Hampshire. After this last quarterly meeting, a part of the yearly meeting's committee went directly to London. But my brother Samuel and some others, accompanied me a day or two longer. On seventh day evening we had a meeting with the inhabitants of Issmgton and another village, in the neighbourhood of Alton. On fust day, the 27th, we were at Godalming, attended both MAHY ALEXAKDEH. 103 tlie meetings, and had a relieving opportunity in a friend's family in the evening. On second day morning, my dear brother and the rest of the yearly meeting's committee, with his daugh- ter, left me, and went to London in order to attend the quarterly meeting there, that being a part of their commission. As I did not feel any thing to draw me there, I was most easy to stop in Surrey; and on third day, I attended Guildford monthly meeting. Fourth day morning I went to Esher, to the M cek-day meeting ; where I had the satisfaction of meeting ray brother Samuel, who had returned from London, and he continued with me through the journey, to my comfort and help. On fifth day we attended Kingston week-day meeting, and after it returned to Esher. In the evening we were at a meeting at the meeting-house there, to which the inhabitants of a neighbour- ing village were invited, no situation nearer appearing so suitable to hold the meeting in wiih them. If one could have been ob- tained at the place, it would, probably, have proved more relieving to us ; yet, I trust, we had cause to acknowledge, that divine assistance was mercifully afforded to minister to several dif- 104 SOME ACCOUNT OP fcrent states amongst tlicm. On sixth day \\e> had a meeting at Dorking with the friends of that place and Capel ; and in the evening had a. public meeting at Capel. Tenth Month, Cd, first day. We attended Ryegate meeting in the morn- ing, and Itield in the afternoon. In these* two meetings, and in a sitting in a friend's fa- mily this day, w e had cause to acknowledge the continued support graciously extended, from the bountiful dispenser of his own precious gifts; which, we are oft-times permitted to know, are in no wise at our ow u command ; and therefore they ought to be accepted with gratitude and', thankfulness, when they are dispensed to us. On second day we had a meeting at Horsham third day, attended a monthly meeting at Chi- chester; and in the evening had sittings in two friends' families. Fourth day we sat with the- rest of the families there. Fifth day attended Arundel week-day meeting. Sixth day, we had a large meeting with the inhabitants of Pet- worth, which was an exercising season, but I think ended to a good degree of relief to our tried minds. On seventh day, we w ent to Brigh- ton, and ou our way had sittings in two families. MAKY ALE-XANDER. 105 On first day, the 1 1th, we attended the meethigs at Brighton. In the forenoon, I sat under a silent exercise ; and in the afternoon, for a con- siderable time, the same situation was my allotment; yet I felt much for divers states among them ; and at length was permitted to see the way open for a little casting off my bur- den, in testimony to them, and intercession with the Father of Mercies on their behalf. On second day we went to Lewes; and on third day we had a meeting there. After it, I could not see, for some hours, which way we should be likely to move from thence ; but, after a relieving opportunity in a friend's fam'ilf in the evening, it clearly opened to leave these* counties, after having a meeting with the inha- bitants of Bletchingly. On fourth day morn- ing we returned to Brighton, where we parted with our dear friend Sarah Hack, who had very ai^ceptably accompanied us from Chichester. That afternoon we went to Ryegate. Fifth day evening we had a satisfactory meeting at Bletch- ingly, and after it, went home with our kind friend Thomas Dann of Nutfield, at whose house we rested the next day, expecting to go thence to Rochester; in order to attend a quar- ferly meeting there; to which my beloved bro- lOG SOME ACCOUNT OP ther felt bound, and I felt full liberty to accom- pany him. On seventh day, in company with T. Dann and his daughter, we went to Rochester ; and were at a meeting there, on first day, the 18th. On second day, we attended the quarterly meet- ing. Third day went to London, to our kind friends' John and Tabitha Bevans. Fourth day morning Me left them, after a solid opportunity in their family, and went to Grace-Church- street week-day meeting, where my dear bro- ther had a lively, and, to some faithfully exer- cised minds, an encouraging testimony. In the afternoon we went to Upton. On fifth day we went to Tottenham, and on sixth day proceeded homewards; and reached Ipswich on seventh day evening. On first day, tenth month, 25th, we attended the meetings there; and, in the evening, had a humbling season of awful retirement in our friend Isaac Liversedge's chamber, who Mas then very ill, of an indisposition from which he did not recover, though he lived several weeks longer. We returned home after it, well satis- fied that we went round by Ipswich to visit hijn, MARY ALEXANDER. 107 that being our principal motive for going there at that time. After my return home, I had re- uewedly to acknowledge the goodness and mercy of Him, who is still graciously pleased to reward the sincere, though feeble endeavours of his little ones, with a portion of that peace, which can come only from his boundless trea- sury, and therefore, I humbly trust, may be received as a mark of divine acceptance ; and is a jewel worth toiling long to obtain. In this little journey I experienced many dif- ferent dispensations. Sometimes, when I be- lieved it to be my duty to appoint meetings, weakness has been so much the covering of my spirit, in getting through them, that I was often led to fear lest I should have run, without bemsc sent by him who alone can qualify for his own service ; yet at other times, I have humbly and thankfully to acknowledge, I never w as more sensible of divine support and qualihcatiou to perform what appeared to be required of me, both among friends and others. Under a humbling consideration of my hea- venly Father's goodness, my soul was, after my ft turn home, many times bowed in reverence S 198 SOME ACCOUNT OP before him ; craving his protecting care, both in heights and in depths ; that under every dispen- sation of his unerring Providence, there may be ability to say, " Thy will be done."* Very soon after our return home, we had an account of the departure of dear Mary Ann Smith, who closed this life the day after we left Tottenham. Though there appeared but little, if any probability of her recovery wlien wjs j)arted with the family ; yet it was unexpected to us, so quickly to receive the intelligence of her a\vful change ; but as I believe her spirit was happily prepared for it, it is a great mercy to her, that infinite Wisdom hath been pleased to cut the work short in righteousness ; and to ad- mit her to a full enjoyment of that precious communion with himself, the foretaste of which, I venly believe, she accounted her choicest blessing, whilst here. 1802. I had not been long at home, after my return from the foregoing visit to the coun- ties of Surrey and Sussex, &c. before another religious exercise revived in my mind, which I had felt at times for several years ; viz. to hold some meetings in small villages on the western * Mat, xsvi. 42. MARY ALEXANDEUv side of this county. Very early In this year, the time for moving therein appeared clearly ta open, and I found my dear friends John Kirk- ham and Martha Brewster, had similar pro- spects; and that the former had felt his mind particularly impressed to make known to me his concern, without any previous information of my having any such prospect. I informed him and my friend M. B. of the time I had in view ; which, after solid consideration, they felt easy with, and we applied to our different monthly meetings in the fourth month ; and obtained the concurrence of our friends respectively to unite, and proceed agreeably to our prospects laid before them. We met at Bun.-, on seventh day, the 10th of tlie fourth month ; and oa lirst day attended tlic morning meeting there. In the evening we had a meeting with the inhabitants of Horringsheatli, a. village in the neighbourhood of Bury. From this time, until fourth day, the 21st, we were iu a similar manner engaged, holding meetings within a short distance of that place. And, in most, if not all of them, amongst a people who were very much strangers to us as a religious society. Many of them appeared also much 110 SOME ACCOUNT OF strangers to all true religion, and to that divine influence which only can quicken the soul, to a lively sense of the goodness and mercy of oiur great and gracious Creator; and enable us to perform acceptable worship unto " Him, who is a spirit, and must be worshipped in spirit and in truth."* Yet, in some places, we met with a few seeking minds, to our comfort; and amongst them, at times, we were enabled to renew our strength in the Lord, who from day to day was pleased to give us to know that he was sufficient for his own work ; though, when with a people who were so much unac- quainted with his spiritual assistance, it was sometimes humiliating labour. However, some of these seasons were succeeded by a degree of that solid satisfaction, which compensated for the sufiering of the day. Where the great Master is not admitted to reign, his faithful ser- vants cannot but suffer ; and they ought to esteem it a favour to be found worthy to abide with him, even in tribulation. The last-mentioned evening, viz. fourth day, 21st, we had a meeting at Bottesdale, with the inhabitants of that place ; and after it set off • John iv. 23. MABY ALEXANDER. Ill ^vlth several friends who accompanied us thither, intending to return to Badwell-Ash. We luid not got out of the town of Bottesdale, before we experienced a very close trial, occasioned by one of our friends receiving a very alarming hurt on his head, by a fall from his horse, which ran away with hnn immediately after he had mounted. As soon as we could get him taken back to the inn which we had just left, we had a surgeon's assistance, who appeared to be a man of good judgment in his profession, which was some alleviation to our tried minds. After staying with him till all was done for him that we were able to do under his then circum- stances, most of us proceeded, as we had before intended, to Badwell-Ash, leaving two friends with him for the rest of the night. On fifth day morning, Martha and myself felt most easy to go back to Bottesdale, to see the friend \\ ho had been hurt, whom we found quite as well as we could reasonably expect, which was cause of heartfelt gratitude to the great Preserver of liis people. We staid with him until that after- noon, wlien his wife, who had been sent for, came to hrni; and she accompanied him home the next day. We had one meeting move bc- K 3 112 SOME ACCOUNT OP fore we returned to Bury, and got back there on seventh day, the 24th. Though our absence was but for a few days, we had experienced some deeply proving sea- sons, wherein our faith had been closely tried : yet we had abundant cause to acknowledge, that our minds had been graciously favoured with divine support in the time of need, to our hum- bling admiration. Tlie next day we attended the morning meet- ing at Bury ; and in the evening had a meeting with a large number of the inhabitants. In- vitation was particularly given to the lower class of the people, and it proved a relieving oppor- tunity to our minds ; which we esteemed a gra- cious mark of divine condescension, after some deeply trying baptisms. After this meeting was over, we all felt the weight of our present mission so lightened, as to believe a release was near ap- proachmg. After visiting a few friends in their families on second day, the way was clear for our coming to Needham on third day, the 27th of fourth month ; and that evening my beloved companions had a public meeting here, invitation having been given to ihe inhabitants of Bark- ing, at John Kiikham's request. MARY ALEXANDER. 113 On 4tli day, after a solid opportunity together, witli our very kind helpers, John Marriage, jun. and John Perry, we parted; the former ac- companying John Kirkham home. At the time of parting, my mind was permitted to feel a degree of peaceful quiet; but, I think, I have seldom, if ever, experienced the same stripped, tried situation so soon after any engagement of this sort, as was now my allotment, with but little exception. Although 1 could not but be- lieve we were right in parting when we did, yet an apprehension was prevalent that it remained an unfinished work. Earnest have been my desires, that on whomsoever the lot may fall to be again engaged in it, we may be enabled to keep our eye single unto the Shepherd of Israel, who, I humbly trust, did put us forth, go before us, and granted a present release from that field of labour ; then he may be pleased to unfold to us the further discovery of his holy will, and enable us to be resigned thereunto. On first day, the second of fifth month, I ac- companied my brother Samuel to Diss, to see our friend Isaac Brightwen, who, we had been in- formed, appeared to be very near his final close; and when we got there, we found he was not 11-4 Some account or sensible, and in such a situation as to leave !io reason to expect his surviving many hours. We attended the meeting there, which was a solid opportunity, and after it returned to the house ;, and his wife requesting our going to them into his chamber, we did so, and sat until we saw the awful conflict finished ; when we were per- mitted to feel a precious covering, accompanied with a belief that the deceased had quitted mortality, for- a glorious immortality. Before we left the house, we were favoured with a. humbling uniting season with his widow and children. The following first day, the 9th, we attended the burial, which was a memorable meeting to me, and I trust to divers others who, •were present : yet I fear such opportunities ara too frequently soon forgotten. Ninth Month, 30th, fifth day. Tlie remains of '■ ' ■ were interred in friends burial ground here. He was one over whom I had many times lamented, from a firm persuasion that if he had been faithful to the pure manifescations of truth in his own mind, he would have been dignified thereby, and have been made useful unto others. But instead hereof, it is to be feared, for want of keeping MARY ALEXANDER. 115 watchful and faithful in the day of small things, to the discoveries of the divine will (^ncerning him, the enemy of all righteousness prevailed so far over his once enlightened mind, as to induce him to let fall divers testimonies to the pure principle of truth, which, I verily believe, in his youthful days, were precious in his view. Yet I am willing to believe, that through much tribulation he has obtained mercy, and is ad- mitted into holy rest. In the last few days of his life, I repeatedly sat by his bed side, and Avas sometimes favoured to feel a consoling be- lief that this would be his happy experience. 316 SOME ACCOUNT OJ? , CHAPTER VIII. Kth Month, 1802, to the Tth Month, 1804, A season of withdrawing, and trial. — Hitc/tin.—Visif to friends' families, Sj-c. in Suff'olk.— London yearly meeting. — Her sister Ann's visit to America. — Re- flections. — Renewal of a religious prospect alluded to, in 1801. — Cast before the vionthly meeting.— Re^ mirk on her feelings upon such occasions. The latter end of this year, and most of thet first month, 1803, I was at Ipswich, with my- dear sister Hannah, previously to, and during hei' confinement with her daughter Priscilla. Though I was well satisfied therewith, believing it to be niy duty to do what I could to alleviate a time of trial which she was permitted to experience; yet, as to myself, it was a season of peculiar withdrawing of all substantial comfort. Some- times I could not but secretly mourn my desti- tute state of mind ; and had there not been a little cheering ray of holy confidence, mercifully vouchsafed, in that All-sufficient Power, who is still able to " open," at his pleasure, " rivers in high places, and fountains in the midst of the vallies ;* to make the wilderness a pool o£ * ISAIAII xli. 18. WARY ALEXANDER. 117 wliter, and the dry land springs of water ;" I think, it seemed almost as if, 1 must have sunk into irrecoverable sadness. But, blessed be the jiame of Israel's God, he was pleased to sustain through this long winter season ; and, at times, to afford a grain of living faith, that when his wisdom saw it was enough, the cloud should be removed from the tabernacle. I was sometimes ready to conclude, my present suffering was intended as a preparatory dispensation, for an arduous and important engagement, which to- wards the latter part of the time revived and spread in my mind ; though not with sufficient clearness to satisfy me, the full time was come for opening it to my friends. In the latter end of tliis month, I accompanied my brother and sister W. and A. Alexander to Hitchin, where, on lifth day, the 27th, we at- tended the interment of dear Joshua \\ heeler. It was a solid meeting, and divers lively testi- monies were delivered therein; as there were likewise in an opportunity in his family in the evening. Though, as to myself, I experienced, through the day, mucJi poverty of spirit, yet I ^ was well satisfied in being there, and glad to be witness to the gracious -support mercifully 118 SOME ACCOUNT OF vouchsafed to dear Elizabeth, who was strength- ened to bear testimony in the evening, to the good- ness and sutHciency of that divine power, which had supported her under tlie present deeply afflictive dispensation. After niy return home, T went again to Ips- wich, and staid about ten days longer with my sister Hannah. During that time 1 felt more closely the weighty prospect which had revived before I left her. After 1 got home, it so much increased in weight, as to induce me to believe it was right for me to open to my friends, in the third month, a prospect I had of visiting the families of friends throughout our quarterly meeting ; and also of holding public meet- ings : particularly on the western side of the county, in some villages which were left un- visited when I was joined by John Kirkham and Martha Brewster; and I obtained the concur- rence of friends to proceed therein. To give up thus far without any knowledge of a companion, was a sacrifice which cost me many hours of close exercise of mind, and many fears for the honour of the pure cause I was about to espouse. To be so engaged MARV ALEXANDER. 119 amongst divers who were not strangers to nie, increased the arduousness of the work in my view ; believing it would be in a peculiar man- ner needful to stand resigned, to renewed baptisms, in the course of such an engagement; in order to experience all inferior judgment re- moved, and to feel an entire reliance, from hour ta hour, on the guidance of unerring Wisdom. My mind for a short season was permitted to jeceive consolation, from an acknowledgment of my beloved brother Samuel's to the monthly meeting, that he felt most easy to inform his friends, he believed, if no other companion of- fered, he should feel bound to accompany me through some part of the visit. He had their full concurrence so to do. And, in the course of our religious engagements together, I had good cause to believe, that his willingness to sympathize with me, and, as far as was consist- ent with the great Master's will, to become a fellow-labourer in the arduous work, was not all he was called to, but that he was separated for a similar work, witliin the compass of ou!" own monthly meeting. X "120 SOME ACCOUKT OF We left home on seventh day, the IQth of the third month, and went that evening to Wood- bridge, and the next morning to Leiston, in time for meeting. In the afternoon and evening we had four sittings in the families there. On second and third days we sat with the rest of that meet- ing in their families. Fourth day morning, we began a visit to the families at Woodbridge ; and finished the next evening. On sixth day morning, we had a meeting M'ith friends there ; and in the afternoon were favoured to leavfi them in peace. In the evening we had three sittings at Ips- wich, and there we were in a similar manner engaged, until fourth day evening, the 30th of this mondi. During our visit in that place, I underwent the deepest baptisms, I ever expe- rienced. For several days after we got there, it seemed as though every day they grew hea- vier, so that sometimes I was almost ready to feel dismayed, lest I had begun a work, which I should not be able to accomplish. But, to the praise of our Holy Head and High Priest, I was favoured to witness, that, sufficient for the day, was the strength he was pleased in meroy to dispense. That ev«niug, after the close of MARY ALEXANDER. ISl the visit, and through the greatest part of the night, I was- favoured to partake more largely of the foretaste of enduring felicitv', than ever I had done before. It was a night which I de- sire may ever remain in my remembrance, with reverent thankfulness to the blessed Author of all good. I thought to feel what I then felt, iminterruptedly, would, without augnieutatioo, constitute a joyful eternity. The next day, at a meeting with friends there, I was renewedly plunged into close exercise, though not without some ability to cast off my burden, by ministering, unto them, and inter- ceding with the Father of mercies for them and ourselves. But I did not feel a full release ffbm Ipswich, without submitting to invite all my brother Dykes' work'iien, and such of their families as inclined to attend, to come together that evening; and it proved a solid opportunity. After it was over, I was favoured to experience a renewal of the precious peace, m hich had bcca my allotment the preceding evening. On sixth day morning, the 1st of the fourth month, after sitting with a young woman who attends meetings, but is not a member of our t 2 SOME ACCOUNT OF society, we came home ; and a happy day it was to me, feeling the incomes of enriching peace. On first day, the 3d, I attended Mendlesham. meeting, and afterwards sat with the few friends in their different families. On third day, the 5th, I was at our monthly meeting held at Ips- wich. Fourth day, accompanied by my brother Samuel, I visited the families in our own par- ticular meeting : but my mind was under too heavy a load of discouragement, in looking to- wards the future, to get relievingly through the present engagement. However, I have reason to apprehend that the close of this day might have proved more satisfactory, had I attended more to the great Master's injunction of, " Take therefore no thought for the morrow ; for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. '* This I was favoured to see verified the next day, the 7lh of fourth mouth. In the morning I took leave of my beloved brother Samuel, who expected to set out in a few days for the half year's meeting in Wales. It was a pinching separation to me, as we had been very nearly bound in gospel fellowship, in the course of our late arduous engagement. My brother * MA.X. vi. 34. MARY ALEXANDER, 123 William kindly accompanied me to Bury, m here- I informed my friends, in their monthly meeting of my prospect in coming amongst them. When I had done so, my dear sister Hannah, who was then on a visit to her sister Martha Brews- ter, in a weighty manner, proposed to unite with me therein, which met the cordial approbation of her friends, and was truly comforting to me. After meeting, I was favoured to feel such a. » ther the same strength in the men's. Indeed I have but seldom felt as much ability in communicating in this way to my brethren, as when among my sisters: and, 1 believe, the necessity there is, in such cases, of repeating pretty much the same thing, does in degree les- sen the weight of what is expressed. My dear brother Samuel, at the same time, informed friends, how he had been circum- stanced, and that he felt most easy to propose to unite with me. Certificates for us were ordered to be prepared for next monthly meeting, to be held on fourth day, the 1st of the eighth montL MARY ALEXANDER, 133 CHAPTER IX. 3J of 8th Montli, 1804, to the 1st of 1st Montli, 1805. Sets out on the risit to Scotland, t^ c. — Bunj. — Littlc- jmrt. — Chatteris. — Dcrbjj. — Cockcrmoutk. — Parion. Isle of Man. — Whitchaicn.—D'mington. — Cockcr- moutk. — Mary-Port . — Cockermout/i rjuartcrh/ mett- ing. — Graysouthen. — Dundee. — Kinmuck. — Ballial- gardy. — Old Mddrum. — Aberdeen. — Stonchaien.— Montrose. — Dundee. — Perth. — Glasgow. — Edin- burgh monthly meeting. — Newcastle. — Shields.— Darlington, SfC. — York.—JFclbourn.—Noithanijjton quarterly inciting. — Chatteris. — Returns home. Slxtli day, the 3(J of tlie eighth Month. After so long a time of deep exercise, it has been cause of humble admiration that I have been enabled to look forward towarrlM, ti.-" , — vifu, witli so inucii se- rene satisfaction, aSj for the last few weeks, has frequently been the haj py experience of niy thankful heart. Under these S. el ags, I left home, and we went this evening to Jiury. Tho next day my mind was permitted to know a dil- ferent dispensation, and I was ready to fear we must part from our dear friend ^Martha Brews- ter, under a sense of the deprivation of that U 2 1 1S4 SOME ACCOUNT QF substantial comfort, which my soul longed ta feel. But just before we left her hospitable roof, we were favoured to know a little of the renewed loving kindness of our gracious Helper, who, through our beloved friend INI. B. was pleased to open for us a little brook by the way, and we bid farewell to her under its ten- dering influence. On first day the 5th, niy dear brother Samuel and myself were at Littleport meeting, which was a very small gathering ; but we were per- mitted to experience the fidfiUing of the divine promise that, " Where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them."* It was a humbling, baptizing sea- son; to be remembered with thankfulness ta ax.T^v — • '—'^li springs. _ We went that evening to Chatteris, and lodged at our friend John Bateman's, who was from home on a religious engagement with John Abbott, with a view to visit the Isle of Man ; and it now looks likely we may cross the water together. Before we left this family, we had a humbling opportunity of religious re- * MAT.xviii. 20^ MARY ALEXANDER. tirement. In the course of this week we tra- velled to Sheffield; taking a week-day meeting at Loughborough, and another at Derby. At the latter, in the evening of the same day, we had a meeting with the richly visited inhabitants of that place. On tirst day, the 12th, we were at Shetheid meetings. And thence, on second day, we went to Hudderslield. On fourth day we attended a week-day meeting at Settle ; sixth day, one at Kendal ; and on seventh day, the 18th, we got to Cockermouth, where we met our friends John Abbott ai>d John Bateinan. ^Ve all attended the meeting there the next day, and had one in the evening for the inhabitants of tliat place, appointed by John Abbott. Though w e passed througli some close exercise^ we had cause to be thankful we were there. The evening meeting was a time greatly owned- by the Shepherd of Israel. On second day, we went to our friend Henry Bragg's, at Parton, near Whitehaven; and were informed, on our arrival there, that the packet for the Isle of Man, would sail that evenins: about ten o'clock. This was intelligence that brought my mmd under deep exercise, especi- ally finding all my intended companions were «OME ACCOUNT OP willing to go at that time, though my brother gave a preference to staying over the monthly meeting at Whitehaven, the next day. When I found him so circumstanced, I also endeavoured to look at going with them, but after a close conflict, I felt best satisfied to inform my be- loved brother and fellow-labourer, that, before I left home, I thought I saw we were to attend that monthly meeting, and sail the next day; and that the prospect so coatinued with me, as to lead me to believe it was safest to give up going by the packet ; though there then appeared but very little probability of our getting con- veyed to the island, on the day I had in view. My dear brother, when he heard this acknow- ledgement, felt fully resigned to stay with me. We then informed our friends J. A. and J. B. how we were situated, desiring them to pursue their own prospect, if they continued to feel most easy to gi that evening; but they likewise conclmkri to stay the monthi) meetmg next day. It proved a^Hson of .livine favour; and three friends that day were separated to accompany ns, who proved truly sympathizing helpers many ways, viz. Henry B>agg, John Fletcher, and Ana Fletcher, the lattr;r as ; fs uile com- panion to me, whose atfectionate attention t MAHY ALEXANDEE. IS? have cause to remember with gratitude. In the afternoon of that day, Henry Bragg and some other friends, made much inquiry for a vessel to take us over,, but could not succeed ; and late in the evening it seemed needful to give up the expectation of going the next day. This was another close trial of my faith, having so fully believed that we should meet with something suitable for the next morning. Very soon after it appeared given, up by my companions as a hopeless case, Henry Bragg came in again and informed us he had just met with an oflFer of a vessel to take us either that evening or the next morning. We soon concluded to take the morn- ing's tide; and I went to bed with a heart filled, with thankfulness and peace.. Fourth day morning, the 22d, we sailed from Whiteiiavea with a fair wind, and very fine wea- ther, wh.ch contmued until we got about two- thirds of the way over; then it became almost a calm; and vvlitii a little wrnddid spraig up, it was nearly a- head of us, which made it slow getting on. However we were favoured to land j ife ai Ramsuy, 64 miles, that nighl ; and had cause lit tee! our hearts humbled in thdiik- fuineis io li.ai i?/nv>!n \v.ad and waves obey, 1-3S SOME ACCOUNT OS We had a meeting at Ramsay the next morn- iug, and another in the evemng ; in both vhich we experienced Holy Help to be near. At thia^ place we met with great kindness from a family who accommodated Ann Fletcher and myself with a bed ; and manifested other acts of bene- volence to our htlle company, which bound them to our aftectionate and religious feelings* AVith them we had a solid season of retire- ment before we set off on sixth day mornmg, iii which they were recommended to seek more and more after an inward acquaintance with the Father of spirits, who is the sure reward of all his faithfid people, and worthy to be served botli by the aged and the youth. Intercession was also made unto Him, that, as they had handed much more to us than a cup of cold water, in the name of Disciples, they might re- ceive their reward; and that he would be pleased to gniut us, his j>ilgrims, the blessing of preser- vation under all our movements, in passing along thruugh this little island, a very small part of his footstool. On sixth day evening, we had a meeting at a place called Kirk Andrews. On seventh day eveuing, one at Kirk Aiichacl. On first daj MARY ALEXANDER- 139 morning, the 26tli, we had a meeting at BalafF; and in the evening, one at Peel town, where we met with divers solid people among the society of Methodists ; with whom we were permitted to experience, in a very precious manner, the overshadowing wing of divine re- gard; under the influence whereof, ability was granted, to espouse the truths of the gospel, given to us as a people, in a peculiar manner, to bear unto the world. And, under a humbling sense of his goodness, and of our uuworthiness of his multiplied favours, the tribute of thanks- giving and praise was offered unto his glorious name, who is for ever worthy of all that can be ascribed unto him. After meeting we sat a while with one family of the aforesaid people ; where we were again permitted to know, our Holy Helper is coniiued neither to time nor ♦i^ I ' "T'^"^ ^9 deal out his biead to the hungry, when and where a uue preparation is made to receive his bounty. On second day morning, I arose under an awful apprehension that it would be right for, at least, a part of our company to go again into ° the family we had visited the preceding evening, and into some others among that people, before 140 SOME ACCOUNT CF we left the place. After breakfast I mentionetl this to my conipanious collectively; and I had the satisfaction of finding my beloved brother had received somewhat of a similar impression. After solid deliberation, part of onr band con- cluded to accompany us, while Henry Bragg a nd John Fletcher went to a place a few miles dis- tant, in order to provide a meeting for the evening. We went first to tiie family we had been with the evening before, where we again met a very cordial reception. We had also the com- pany of their parents, who resided at the next house ; and of a solid young man, their preacher. With them altogether, we were favoured to have a truly solemn and profitable opportunity ; at the close of which, apprehending we were with some of the heads of their tribe, my bro- ther felt it safest to remark to them a custom , , , ^ „ .T ijidws, ana pariicu- larly on this island, which ^vas of those in their society, when they attended our meetings, kneeling down on their entrance into the room. He pointed out the difference we felt towards «ditTerent individuals under tliis ceremony ; some we had cause to believe felt an awful sense of the object of our meethig together; but with. ■SIARY ALEXAKDER. 141 respect to some others, their manner was so irreverent, as to cause us to feel deep lamenta- tion on their account ; and, in some meetings, we had believed it right at the close of them, to give a caution agamst complying with such an outward form, while the attention of the muid was far from the great object of adoration and worship. L'nder a fetJaig of near regard, we parted with them all, except the young man, who kindly conducted us to the other families which we visited : wherein also we experienced the gathering arm of Israel's Shepherd. The more we saw of this young man, the more we felt bound to him in gospel love; in a sense :tvhereof we bade him farewell. That evening we had a meeting at !MalinacIig. On thnd day evening one at Darby, with some solid people, but among them we apprehended there was a great diversity of states. It proved, however, a season wherein divine mercy ap- peared to be near to do the people good. Even some such as had been too much in danger of resting satisfied with former experience of the great blaster's gracious visitation to their souls, without endeavouring to maintain the watch against a situation comparable with that of those 142 SOME ACCOUNT OT who thought themselves rich and increased ia goods. As there was not a place of public entertain- ment in this village, we were here for several hours taken in by a man and his wife, John and Eleanor Ellison, who appeared to be of truly religious minds. With this family, after a meeting held in the place, we parted, under evident marks of affectionate esteem ; and had a beautiful moon-light ride, several of us in an open cart; but tranquillity covering our minds, though it was past midnight before we arrived at our proposed lodging place, we enjoyed our situation. On fourth day, we had a meeting at Castletown in the morning, and one in the even- ing at Ballamodda; fifth day at Ballanorrass ; sixth day at Ballasalla; and, on seventh day evening, the 1st of ninth month, we had our last meeting on this island, expecting to sail that niaht for Whitehaven. This meeting was held in a large assembly- room at Douglas, and for some time after we met, it was the most unsettled opportunity we liad known since our landing on the isle. In- deed, it was so much so, as to plunge my mind MARY ALEXANDEH. .14S into deep discouragement, considering that we could not have another meeting with the inhabi- tants of that place, without missing our convey- ance by the packet. I think it was a season of as close exercise as I ever remember to have experienced. John Bateman and my dear bro- ther, had each a little matter to offer to the people, I thought very pertinent to the situation of divers amongst them, whose states, as to reli- gious sensibility, I believe, were very different; some of them appearing awfully aware of the intention of our gathering together. However, so little place did the foregoing testimonies appear to have Vvilh those of anotlier description, that soon after my brother had taken his seat again, I was ready to apprehend it might be best to close the meeting, but my companions did not feel at liberty to do so. After endeavouring to bear my burden the appointed time, I at length believed it would be safest for nie to at least get upon my feet, which I did in much fear and trembling; but with an earnest desirCj to be rightly directed by Him, who only knows the food convenient for his people. Probably tlie novelty of a female's appearance in such a manner, might have place with some of them, so tliat in a short time they became much. N 144 SOME ACCOUNT OF quieter, and more attentive; and I was enabled to minister to many difterent conditions present, to the relief of my own mind. After this, some further communications were offered by my fellow-labourers ; and the meeting ended in solemn supplication to our universal Parent, for a blessing on the present opportunity; and, in humble acknowledgements for his gracious as- sistance unto us, mercifully vouchsafed at that time, as also on many similar occasions m our passing along, among the little handful of his people situated on that small spot of ground. We took an atfectionate leave of many after meeting ; and on our way to the inn, called at a house where we had that afternoon taken tea, with a very valuable young woman and her aged father ; with whom we now had a solid and truly memorable season of religious retire- ment. When we reached the inn, M e were immedi- ately told, the captain had been there to inform us he was ready to sail. We were therefore obliged to leave the house without sitting down, or partaking of any refreshment for the body ; but our minds being richly replenished with a portion of peace, and feeling a full clearance of that part of our mission, it was of but very lit- tle coasequence to us. MARY ALEXANDER. We went on board about ten o'clock, and after a gootl sail, with a fair wind, were favoured to land in safety at Whitehaven, at nine o'clock on first day moining. After breakfast, my bro- tlicr and myself Ment to our friend H. Bragg's, at Parton, to get a few hours rest. In the afternoon we assembled with our friends at Whitehaven. That day, before we parted with our companion John Abbott, he informed us'of a prospect he had, of a meeting Avith tlie inhabi- tants of a village between AVhitehaven and Cockermouth, querying if we had had any view towards the same place. As it had attracted my attention, r/^ much as to lead me to appre- hend we should not be likely entirely to leave those parts without a similar engagement, it seemed, we thought, very, desirable to unite with him and John Bateman ; though I felt so fatigued, and in want of rest, after our close travelling and exercise on the island, as rather reluctantly to submit to joining them in the ap- pointment of a meeting there, Dissington, on second day evening ; which appeared the most suitable time for them. It proved to me a par- ticularly exercising meeting, wherein I thought" 1 had to labour in the gospel, in as much weak- ness aud mortification to the creaturely part, as N 2 146 SOME ACCOUNT OF at any time since my leaving home. Indeed T was almost ready to call in question the rectitude of our being there ; but, after we left the place, aud returned to Parton, I was permitted to feel a degree of the calming influence of divine love,, as a canopy to cover my mind, so as to raise reverent thankfulness to Him, who is pleased to accept the feeble, if but faithful endeavours of his humbly dedicated children. On 3d day we all attended the week-day meet- ing at Cockermouth, where we met our three: kind fellow-helpers, who had accompanied us across the water. In the afternoon we had a preci- ous parting opportunity together; in which we had: to acknowledge that the sustaining arm of divine sufficiency had been with us in our going forth,, and mercifully supported throughout ; sweetly uniting our little band in gospel fellowship. We had also to acknowledge that many circum- stances respecting our union, had been mar- vellous in our eyes, and claimed the tribute of gratitude and praise unto our Holy Director, who remains to be unto his people, " Wonderful, Counsellor, the Tklighty God and who was condescending, at that time, to bestow a portioa * Isaiah ix, 6. MAnV ALEXANDER. 147 of enriching peace ; though we could truly, with abasedness of spirit, adopt the language^ " We are unprofitable servants." * On fourth day, John Abbott and John Bate- man went to Kendal ; and my dear brother and myself to a meeting at Setmortliy. In the af- ternoon, in our way to Broughton, we visited a very afflicted friend, I think the most pitiable object I ever bfcheld; but we were comforted in believing his sufferings would terminate with his existence here; and we also were ready to believe that it would not be very long ere the gracious call would be in mercy extended to his soul, to leave the shackles of mortality, for an abode in durable liappiness. From fifth to seventh day. M e attended meet- ings at Broughton, Pardshaw, and Grey-Southen. On first day, the 9th, we were at Maryport. In the morning meeting there, I very soon felt my mind under exercise, and diveis states present were brought befoie me with what I appre- hended clear openings for commmiication ; but I had not been sensible of the full time being * Luke xvii. xo. N 3 148 SOME ACCOUNT OF come for it, when another stepphig in^ closed up the way, and we had no public labour there. In the afternoon meeting we were permitted to experience a good degree of relief, although I do not suppose we were etidowed with a* much strength, to warn some, and encourage and sympathize with others, as we might have been, had we met with no impediment in the foregoing meeting. However we had renewed cause, through all, to thank our gracious Helper, and to confide in his all-sufficient Power. On second day morning, after a season of divine favour, iu the friend's family vhere we lodged, we left Maryport. In the remaining part of this M eek we visited the meetings at AUanby, Holm, Wigton, Bolton, Kirkbride, Coldbeck, and Mosedale. On first day, the iGth, we were at Carlisle, in the morning; and had a meeting in the evening at Scotby. On second day, we travelled over some very moun- tainous road to Aldston; where we had a meet- ing the next day. Fourth day, we w ere at a monthly meetmg at AUoudide;, and, m the after- noon,- attended a select meetmg there, held in a MARY ALEXANDER, 149 friend's house, to accommodate an ancient woman who was not able to get to the meeting- house. On fifth day, we had a meeting at Derwent, and returned to Allondale. SixtU day evening we had a meeting at Cornwood. In the course of the last two weeks, many have been our exercises. In some of the meet- ings that we have attended, within that time, we have been favoured to feel, concerning a few individuals, that the pure cause w hich we are engaged to espouse, is lovely in their view. But, alas ! by divers others it hath appeared to be professed only by tradition. They hardly seemed sensible of the lamentation we were constrained, at times, to utter in their hearing ; and in one meeting in particular, we had cause to fear, from the impressions we felt, that the enemy of all good, had so far prevailed with his temptations, that some were not clear of all un- seemly and unmoral conduct. May the God of all grace, still be pleased so to plead with these his poor bewildered children, as, by his power- ful and delivering arm, to preserve them even- tually from the jaws of the devourer; through a timely obedience to his gracious pieccpis and iuvitation; " Wash you, uiuke you clean; put 150 SOME ACCOUNT OF away the evil of your doings from before mine eyes; cease to do evil; learn to do well. Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord ; though your sins be as scarlet, tliey shall be white as snow ; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool."* Even unto such as these, his subsequent promise is, " If ye be willing and obedient, ye shall eat the good of the land."^ On first day, the 23d, we were at Sykeside meeting in the morning ; and in the evening at- tended one at Solport ; after which we returned to Sykeside. On third day we had a meet- ing at Moorhouse; which concluded our visit to all the particular meetings in the quarterly meeting of Cumberlaad and Xorthumberland. This week the quarterly meeting was held at Cockermouth ; and after many days of consi- derable thoughtfulness on the subject, it seemed best for us to attend that meeting before we proceeded for Scoiland, which we accordingly did on die 27th and 28th of ninth month. On seventh day morning, after a solid oppor- tuiiiiy in J. and D. iiiison's family, where we * IS.UAH i. 16—18. i Isaiah i. 19. MARY ALEXANDEn. had been divers times entertained with much kindness and affectionate attention, we left Cockermouth, for Parton, and there, in the agreeable society of our dear friends H. and M. Bragg, and their children, we spent a quiet afternoon. On first day morning, we attended Whitehaven meeting, which proved a season of relief and consolation to our minds, not having felt fully clear of friends there until now. In the evening we had a very large meeting, with the inhabitants of Workington, and went after it, though late, to Grey-Southen, to our kind, friend John Fletcher's. Tenth month, 1st, second day. This even* in" we had a meetint; with the inhabitants of Brighani, at the close of which we parted with several friends w ho met us there, to whom we had been nearly united in gospel fellowship ; expecting the next morning, to leave those parts and go directly for Scotland. On third day we w ere accompanied one stage on our way, by our dear iriend John i'letcher. On the road we were overtaken by H. Bragg, who intended to accompany us to lulinburgh. We got that night to Carlisle { and on fourth day 152 SOME ACCOUNT OF morning, after a little season of retirement, we parted with our kind fr'^nd David Carrick and his family. A few miles from CailisJe, H. Bragg pro- posed our calling to speak to a friend's family by the road's side, with which we complied ; and were well satisfied in doing so. Tliis afternoon we entered into Scotland ; and on fifth day we reached Hawick, where there are two families of friends, who sit down together in one of their houses. That evening we had a public meeting there ; and the next morning, sat with the two families in that place separately, in which we felt satisfaction ; and,^ under a feeling of gospel love, we parted with them, except one friend, who went ^\ith us to Edinburgli, where we arrived before dinner, on seventh day. On first day, the 7lh, Me attended the meet- ings there. In the morning sitting I w as dipped into close exercise, without any opening for communication, and the watch word which deeply impressed my mind, appeared to be like the injunction given by our Great ^Master, to his MAKV ALEXANDER. 15S immediate followers, when tliey were about to filter upon his mission to the lost sheep of the house of Israel : " Be ye therefore wise as ser- pents, and harmless as xioves."* I'his was ac- companied with an awful impression, that to do our proper business, we must submit to visit from house to house, amongst our friends in that place. Before the afternoon meeting, I felt a necessity to unfold to my beloved brother, how I w as circumstanced, w ho, I found, had been ia somewhat a similar situation, but did not appear to be eoine at full clearness in his mind re- specting it. This I much desired he might be favoured to do, before any snch prospect was opened to our friends ; though I apprehended it might be right for us to commence our visit that evening, and thought I saw with what fa- mily we should begin : yet I could not feel satis- fied to divulge it further, until his way was per- fectly clear. However, after I had informed him V'hat I did, I experienced a degree of relief from the weight of exercise which had rested with me, previously to my speaking to him on the subject. But it was otiierwise with him, for he found the matter increase, and fix so much, that at the close of the afternoon * Mat. X. 16. 154 SOME ACCOUNT OF meeting, in a very desirable manner, he informed friends of our prospect. From some of them we received expressions of sympathy, and encouragement to pursue what we had in view ; and it was by them proposed, as we should need some assistant to conduct us from one family to another, that our friend Henry Bragg, who had kindly accompanied us many miles, should, if he felt freedom so to do, aid us a little longer, by continuing with us through tiie impending engagement. To this he readily assented, and that evening we sat with two families. Second, third, and fourth days were employed in this way. On fifth day, we attended a monthly meeting at Edinburgh ; and in the evening had one sitting. At the close of that day, w e felt, at least, a present release from this place; and had cause to testify that the Lord God Omnipotent, is worthy to be sought unto, and trusted in, by his children and peo])le. And, oh ! may we prove humble and grateful receivers. On sixth and seventh days, we travelled to Dundee, accompanied by Alexander Cruick- ^hankj our kind landlord at JEdiuburgh ; we liad :^MARY ALEXAVDEr.. 955 also the company of our friend Henry Bragg, who did not yet appear prepared to bid farewell to us. On tirst day, the 14th, we attended two meetings at IXmdee, and had two sittings in friends' famihes. On fourth day w e got to Balhalgardy, to our friend John Cruickshank's, under whose quiet roof I felt it a peculiar privilege to shelter that evening, be- ing very unwell with a close cold, and much depressed in mind in the prospect of remaining engagements in this land- On fifth day we rode five miles to Kinmuck, in order to attend a monthly meeting there that day; but I was too ill to go to meeting, or to keep out of bed much of the tiiue friends were sitting; yet, obtaining a little relief in the after- noon, we went five miles further to Old Mel- druni. On sixth day we had a meeting there ; and after a religious opportunity with a friend before dumer, and an opportunity after it with the family where we lodged, we essayed to leave that place ; but I could not, with satisfactory clearness, see our departure thence, without visituig the rest of the little handful of profes- sors under our name, belonging to that meet- ing ; w ith w Inch my brother luiited* We got p 156 SOME ACCOUNT Of through them that evenhig and the next day; and afterwards returned to Balhalgardy. On first day, the 2 1 st, we were at the meeting at Kinmuck, which I think was in some good de- gree owned by the great Shepherd of Israel, and ended to satisfaction. As I continued to feel vei7 unwell, after meeting we went back to Balhalgardy, and rested there the remaining part of that day. Indeed 1 was ready to suppose I must tarry there many da} s before I should be well enough to move forward with w hat still remained to do thereabouts. But I recovered so far as to get to a public meeting appointed for us at Old iMeldrum, on second day evening ; and, though it was very wet, without taking any fresh cold. On third day we had several sittings with the families within the compass of Kinmuck meet- ing ; and the remaining part of them, we sat w ith before their meeting on fourth day, which we attended. In the evening we had a public meeting at Inverury. The latter proved a sea- son of some encouragement to my mind, feeling Holy Help to be near, which remains to be a rock of defence to the truly dependant in all their exercises. MARY ALEXANDER. 1.57 After this meeting we went to Ballialgardy. The next day we puited with our kind and much esteemed friends of that family, with whom we had a sohd season of retirement when about to separate, w hich to us felt a comfortable close to our little services thereaway. On sixth day we had a meeting with friends at Aberdeen, where some of the few professing with us, appeared very much strangers to the pure truth. It was an exercising meeting; but some ability was af- forded to labour; and in it we had peace. We felt much sympathy with one individual, in whose family we had a religious opportunity, before we left the place, in the afternoon. That evening we visited, at Stonehaven, the only re- maining member of Uiy meeting — a very ancient woman ; but it w as comforting to our minds, to llnd, in her very lonely situation, she was favoured, in her old age, to retain a lively sense of the pure principle in which she had for many jcars professed to believe. This was now her comfort and support; and we had a comfortable hope would be mercifully vouch- safed to the end of her pilgrimage here ; and that at the close thereof she would obtain an ailmittance into the kingdom, where sorrow and sighing are no more. 158 SOME ACCOUNT OP On first day, the 28th, we had a meeting with the inhabitants of Montrose, which to me was a very trying one, believing but a smalt mnnber, in a large gathering of people, were heartily engaged for their own eternal interest. On third day, the 30th, we had an open and satisfactory meeting with some of the inhabi- tants of Dundee ; in a part of the town, where no meeting of our society hnd of late time beea held. Eleventh month, 1st, and 5th of the week, we attended a meeting at Perth, with a small num- ber in profession with us, amongst whom we had some exercising labour. My mind was led much to fear for an individual in particular, who, I believed, in days past, had known a be- ginning in the spiritual warfare ; but who ap- peared in considerable danger of cherishing a propensity to be " now made perfect by the ilesli."* This friend coming to our inn, I had :;n opportunity with him which proved relieving to my mind. The word preached did not ap- pear to have much entrance into the hearts of some ; but blessed be the name of Him, whom. * Gal. iii. 3. MAHY ALEXANDER. 139 I desire to serve, not the fruits of our doings, but the faithfulness of our hearts, commends his dedicated servants to his divine acceptance. On first day, the 4th, we attended two meet- ings with our friends at Glasgow, besides sitting with them in their preparative meeting. In the evening we had a solid opportunity in one of their families, when divers others of them were present. On second day morning, the way did not appear clear to leave them, neither coiUd I se© enough light upon visiting their separate families, to admit of my proposing it to my dear brother; but I soon found he had more fully received the word of command to go amongst them in that way. Having felt so much as to enable me cordially to unite with him, we, without delay, entered mto the work, that we had cause to believe was assigned us. On fifth day, the 8th, we attended a second monthly meeting at Edinburgh, where w e were rcnewedly led into much exercise. Both our minds were so closely arrested in our separate apartments this day, as to lead us to sujipose we should not be clear, without attempting to dip a little fui-- ther into their situation than we could do in their monthly meeting. This we did in much 0 3 , 160 SOME ACCOUNT OF fear, and with an earnest desire to be preserved from hurting the pure cause, if we were not permitted to promote it, or help our friends ; to all of whom we felt much love. On third day morning, the 13th, my dear brother and myself left Edinburgh, after a little season of retirement, in which we had the company of dear H. Bragg, who had continued with us until this time, and was particularly helpful to us in. tlie late arduous engagement. On sixth day evening, the l6th, we got to Newcastle, and the 17th, rested there; which was the first day we had spent since we left, home, without either religious engagements, or travelling, or both. On first day, the 18th, we attended two meetings there ; wherein some abi- lity was afforded to sympathize with the rightly exercised in that place; and to hand a word of encouragement unto such, to hold on in the line of manifested duty, for the promotion of the blessed cause in themselves and others. A caution was extended to some amongst them, to guard against a disposition which might lead to piccraslination, in the very momentous con- cern of preparing for a future existence : and some other states present were, I trust, ministered unto in the love of the gospel. MAEV ALEXANDER. IGI On second day we had a meeting at Benfield* side. Third day, after some religious opportu- nities at Newcastle, whereto we returned the preceding evening? we went to Shields. On fourth day, we attended the week-day meeting ; and 'before we left the place in the afternoon, bad a solemn season of retirement in Henry Taylor's family, whose daughter I had felt deeply for, she being in- a very delicate situa- tion ; and, I was apprehensive, not likely to be again restored to stronger health. My brothei' was led to address both her and her father in, an affectionate, and, I thought, a very suitable manner; after which I felt my mind strengthened to supplicate at the footstool of Divine mercy, that whether it might be consistent with the will of Him, who does all things right, to lengthen the thread of life to more advanced age, or cut it short in tlve bloom of youth, her way might be clear to the glorious abode of sanctified spirits. The five following days we had meetings at Sunderland, Durham, Auckland, Staindrop, and Cotherstone. 0« third day, the 27th, we at- tended a monthly meeting at Staindrop; and on fifth day, the 2^th, were at the week-day meet<' 162 SOME ACCOUNT or ing at Darlington, which we sat throughout in suffering silence, except a short sentence, deli- vered by my brother, at the close of the meet- ing. After some deep wading, and heartfelt exercise, we both apprehended the way to ob- tain a little relief, pointed towards visiting the most active members in their separate families. This engagement occupied sixth and seventh days. On first day, the 2d of twelfth month, we attended the meeting there, which with three private religious opportunities that day, opened the way for our liberation from thence on se- cond day ; and that evening we went to Stock- ton. The next and two following days we were at meetings at Norton, Stockton, and Yarm.. In the course of this journey I have experi- enced many very trying, and in some sort new exercises; and I think those which I have passed through, in these parts, have sometimes been as deeply distressing as any I have ever yet knov\ n : but so it must be, where the pure seed is in captivity in the hearts of the people ; and a fa- vour it is to be found worthy to suffer with a crucified Lord. Hov^ever some rightly exer- cised travellers, I believe, are preserved amongst them, for whom 1 feel near sympathy ; much MARY ALEXANDER. 163 desiring they may hold fast their confidence in- Him, whose arm of all-sufficient power, is still able to support his humbly depending little ones, under all tribulations which they are per- mitted to pass tiu ough for his pure cause sake. Such indeed may be comforted in the gracious promise, that " though a woman may forget her sucking child, yet the Lord will not forget"* those, who are rightly concerned for Zion'a prosperity. On first day, the Qtii, we were at WTiitby ; and on fourth day, the 1 2th, after a meeting at Malton, we went to York. Here we staid two days with our relations and friends^ On seventh day, the 15th, accompanied by Henry Tuke, we went to Doncaster. We staid first day there, * and attended the meetings, Mhich to me were passed in silent exercise. The next morn- ing we parted with Henry Tuke, he return- ing home, and we going towards Lincoln. There, on fourth day, the igth, we attended a quarterly meeting, with a small number of friends, to some solid satisfaction. On fifth day, we called and spent two or three hours with our kind and valuable friend Alice Burtt^ * ISAIAU xlix. 15. 164 SOME ACCOUNT OF at Welboiirn ; and before we parted, we had' renewed cause to acknowledge that the presence of the Most High, is not confined to time or place ; feeling, with her and her family, such a degree thereof, as, I trust, will enable the visi- ters and visited to retain a lively remembrance one of another. On seventh day evening, the 22d, we got ta Wellingborough. On first day we attended the meeting there. In the afternoon we went to Northampton. That evening we attended the quarterly meeting of ministers and elders thei e; and the next day the quarterly meeting for wor- ship and discipline. This to me was a low time; yet it did not appear right to withhold communicating a little of my small stock of spiritual bread to others, though not to much relief. But, in the afternoon, just before we left the place, in a religious opportunity, in the family where we lodged, several other friends being also present, I obtained an increase of that substantial food, which enabled me to leave them in thankfulness and peace. We returned to Wellingborough with our much-esteemed friends B. and T. Middleton. MARY ALEXANDER. 165 *On third day, we attended a week-day meeting at pinedon, and after it, and a season of retirement in a family there, we went to Thrapston. On fourth day, we reached Cliatteris, where we spent a very pleasant evening, with our late ancient companion on the Isle of ^lan, John Bateman; who, we thouglit, appeared to be reaping a rew ard for his evening's sacrifice. On seventh day evening, the QQth, we were favoured to get well home; and had the satis- faction of meeting our relations and friends in usual health, and from them a very cordial w el- come to Needham again; which, with the mer- ciful preservations dispensed to us in our long travel, calls for humble thankfulness to the Author of all our blessings. On third day, the 1st of first month, 1805, we attended our monthly meeting at Wood- bridge, and returned our certificates; which, as far as related to myself, was under the humi- liating sense of unfitness, and incapacity for the great work iu which I had believed myself re- quired to engage, for the promotion of the most flignified cause which can be espoused on earth. Yet iu retiring from the field of labour-^ and i,jG6 SOME ACCOUNT OP settling dowB at home, my mind, at times, has been favoured to partake of a degree of peace- iful tranquillity T his is not at our own com- mand; and therefore, when it is graciously vouchsafed should be accepted with gratitude and praise, as from the treasury of Him, who is a rich re warder of -them that diligently seek and serve him, with integrity and uprightness ©f heart. MARY ALEXANDER. CHAPTER X, 1st Month, 1805, to the 9th Month, 1806. E. Gibson's burial, arid that of another individual. —m Her sister Ann returns her certificates. — Quarterly meeting. — Accompanies W. Forsfer,Jun.— Quarterly meeting. — Ear it h. Within a week after my brother and I had returned from our journey into Scotland, we left home again, accompanied by our dear bro* ther Dykes, to attend the interment of our much beloved friend Elizabeth Gibson, of Saffron Walden, who was removed after about a week's illness. She was far advanced in life, being in the seventy-sixth year of her age. Her faculties, both spiritual and natural, remaining ■very bright to the last, she will be much missed in the militant church ; yet, as there is no doubt of her happy admittance into the church tri- umphant, we have no cause, on her account, to mourn; Vjelieving she was ripe for a glorious transition from the troubles of time to the joys of eternity. She was permitted to put off mor- tality in a remarkably easy manner, without the ieast apparent suffering at the final close. SOME ACCOUNT Of ^lany friends from different parts attended, and the meeting, in the early part of it, was solemn. Under this precious feeling, dear Mary Pryor of Hertford, delivered a very lively and heart tendering testnnony ; but for want of all keepnif their proper ranks, 1 believe \ve lost, in some measure, the favour designed for us. by the great Head of the Church; yet the meeting was per^ mitted to end under a^ coveriiig of good. AncF at the grave side, an awful silence prevailed, and two short testimonies were there delivered, before we quitted the remains of the dear de- ceased. In the twelfth month this year, my brother Samuel and myself attended the interment of and had cause to believe, that after all the vicissitudes he had been permitted to ex- perience, during his long pilgrimage here, both in spiritual and temporal concerns, he w as mer- cifully favoured to know his trangressious to go before-hand to judgment, and to obtain a seat widiin the glorious confines of eternal felicity. We had a solid meeting on the occasion, and I believe divers minds present, were led seriously to consider their latter end. And some of us were enabled to feel a tribute of thankfulness MARY ALEXANDER. 1G9 raised In our hearts unto Ilim, whose " mer Mary' alexanbee. 175 attain to that state of pure submission, wherein I can say to him who is infinite in wisdom and goodness, " Not my will, but thine be done,"* I have sweetly felt, ability to adopt as my own, an expression of Job Scott's : " Quietness, as a canopy covers my mind." When this calming influence prevails, I feel an unshaken persuasion that all things needful will be provided. Oh! that my mind may be preserved so steadily fixed on the immovable Rock, that whatever adverse gales may be permitted to blow, my trust and hope therein may prove " as an anchor of the soul, both sure and stedfast.";j; I can hitherto acknowledge the goodness of Him^ who, I humbly trust, hath called for this surren- der of my will to his all-wise disposal, in having granted me a little portion of peace, since dis- closing to my friends a willingness once more^ in this way, to prove my attachment to that cause, which I sometimes feel dearer to me than my natural life. At present, it is my expectation to commence the visit with attending Tottenham monthly meeting, at Waltham Abbey, on fifth day, thti' 8lh of the first month, 1807. * Luke xxii. 42i i Heb. vi. 19. 176 SOME ACCOUNT OF Tottenham, second day, 12 th of first month. This evening I have parted with my brother Samuel, vho, in his wonted kindnesj!, acconi- panied me from home last third day, and the next afternoon we reached this place. On fifth day we attended the monthly meeting at Wal- iham Abbey, where I produced my certificate, and, I trust, cbtained the sympathy of some of ray brethren and sisters in this part of the vine- yard. I had also the satisfaction to find my friend W. Forster, jun. was bound to a part of the fa- milies hereabouts. We commenced our visit on sixth day morning, when my brother left me for two days, and we met again at Winchmore- hill on first day. We all attended the meeting there, and in the evening had a large assembly of those not in profession with us. This morn- ing we all were at the meetinjr of ministers and elders in London, and came to Tottenham to dinner. AV'ith so weighty a prospect before me, it feels pinching to part with one, who, both m natural and religious bonds, is so near to my heart, as my dear brother Samuel. But on that Arm of Power which hath hitherto supported, I desire to lely. Humbly craving his holy aid, quietly to endure every dispensation of his gra- cious Providence, both ill heights and in depths. MARY ALEXANDER. 177 Plaisto^y, third day, 20th of first month. Thougli I had not got through my engage- ments in Tottenham quarter, I felt bound to jrttend a monthly meeting here to-day. After tiie reading of my certilicate in both meetings, a committee was appointed in each, to render the needful assistance in the performance of my engagements in Barking quarter ; and, in a con- ference winch I have had with the joint com- mittee, I ventured to open a little prospect I have for some time seen, of having the com- pany of my friends John and Tabitha Bevans, in the families hereabouts. I also then informed my friends, that I expected to visit this monthly meeting before I returned to Tottenham, and to commence the engagement to-morrow morn- ing. My proposals were cordially received, and united with by the committee; J.andT. B. being of the number, and acquiescing with the part which more particularly applied to then:. All this proved relieving for the moment: Irnt, alas ! my mind, this evening, is so reduced and ])rought into deep exercise, that I scarcely am able to believe I ever Mas acquainted with the voice of the Good Shepherd. I am almost ready to conckide that all I have ftlt concern- ITS SOME ACCOUNT OF ing my present awful engagement, and every thing of a similar nature, have had their origin in the grand deceiver of mankind, who cares not by what bait he prevails over the children of men to follow him, thereby alienating the soul from the bountiful source of all substantial good. Oh! Thou who canst search the secret recesses of every heart, permit me to know thy blessed will, before I get so entangled with the power of darkness, as, m any wise, to bring re- proach on diy precious cause, which thou knowest is more dear to me than my natural life; for this I could willingly surrender this night, rather than remain here to harm the pure testimony of truth. Tottenham, third day, 3d of second month. Yesterday I closed my visit to Barking monthly meeting, and returned here, accom- panied by my very kind friends, John andTabitha Bevans, whose company and help in the work, together with the great kindness I experienced under their hospitable roof, both from them- selves and their three daughters, 1 hope long to retain in grateful remembrance : and as 1 believe my beloved friends, parents and children, were much disposed to aid me, a poor pilgnni; in the MAtlY ALEXANDER. 175 name of a disciple, may they be permitted to receive a reward for the work's sake. Though I feel indeed but an unprofitable servant; yet, with a humble heart, I can acknowledge thatiiot- •withstanding some of the closest baptisms I ever passed through, were permitted me whilst with them, I also knew some seasons of heavenly fa- vour ; I think some, wherein my mind was as nearly united to the Beloved of souls, as at any time in my life. Yesterday morning, after a re- ligious opportunity with the two handmaids in J. Bevan's family, who are not in profession with ws, my mind could rejoice in believing, beyond a doubt, that the allotted portion of labour ia tliat part was finished. Then I thankfully felt it to be an eternal truth, tliat though many are the afflictions of those who are sent forth on the great Master's errands, yet as the heart is kept singly dependant on his arm of power, he w ill most assuredly deliver out of them all ; and grant a crown of life, as a reward to all who are faithfully engaged to hold out to the end, in do- ing his will. Thus, after the various confiictmg seasons hitherto permitted me to experience, 1 am enabled to thank thee, oh Father! for thy rinercies past, and humbly hope for thy gracious 189 SOME ACCOUNT OP protection, under every future dispensation of thy will. Fourth day, 4th. To-day is the monthly meet" ing at Grace-Church-Street ; and for some days past I have been endeavouring to know whethei' it would be right for me to attend it ; but I have not been able to see any light upon going ; and feeling much indisposed in niy health, a day or two of rest under this roof, my cousin William Torster's, is very salutary to my enfeebled frame. As I have not seen my way to go to London to- day, I have forwarded my certificate to J. G. Bevan, to present it to the montUy meeting; though 1 undoubtedly believe it will be right for me to finish my engagements in this part before I leave this place again ; and as my friend Alice Chorley, an elder of this meeting, has kindly proposed accompanying jne for a few days, 1 hope to be enabled to enter afresh into this field of labour after the monthly meeting here to-morrow. Thus far, in the accomplishment of the ar- duous prospect with which 1 left home, I have had abundant cause to acknowledge, that all things needful have, to my humbling admiration, WARY ALEXANDER. 181 been provided; and, therefore, I dare not dis- trust the bountiful hand which hath aheady dispensed so liberally. However, awful indeed does the approaching engagement appear, of going amongst the largest body of friends 1 have ever visited, in this individual way, without tlie most distant expectation of a companion in th& work : but I marvel to find the calm resignation, which my mind is mercifully favoured at times to experience, in looking towards this important part of my present mission. Yea, I am ready to believe, that nothing short of the SHStainiiw Arm of everlasting mercy, could uphold me un- der what I now have in view. I therefore feel bound to adore Him, committing myself once, more to his holy guidance. Fiftlj day morning, 5th of the 2d Month, J. G. Bevan has just been here, and informed me, on returning my certificate, that their monthly meeting is adjourned till next fourth day, which gives me concern, having no expec- tation of being liberated from these parts, so soon as that time : but, for the present, I wish to leave much thoughtfulness on this subject, endeavouring to do vliat appears right in my allotment in this part of the work. Q 2 1S2 SOME ACCOUNT! OF Evening. At the meeting-house to-day, I met a letter from my friend Mary Pryor, in ■which she expresses. herself in these words :-— " Believing a ntcessity laid on me, I venture to offer accompanying thee on thy visit to the fa- milies of Grace-Church-Street meeting." So imexpected a proposal, and one so truly ac- ceptable, raised a tribute of thankfulness in my heart to Him, who, I humbly trust, has b<5und this, my dear ancient friend, again to evince her attachment to his pure cause, and unite with a little sister in this great work. Tottenham, fourth day, 11th. To-day I have attended the adjourned monthly meeting at Grace-Church-Street, where I in- formed my friends of the prospect I have of a companion, who is not likely to be at liberty from her own monthly meeting, before this- day week; and also that I did not feel myself at present fully clear of this quarter. My infor- mation was cordially received, and friends kindly adjourned again, until fifth day, the IQlh, for our accommodation; which feels relieving to my mind, believing by that time I shall be favoured to see my way to depart hence ; where I have for a long time been very aft'ectionately cared TIARY ALEXANDER. 18S Tor, by my much esteemed friends and relatives of this famiiy. Southgate, fourth day, 18tb. I have now visited all the meetings, and fa- mihes of friends in Tottenham monthly meeting, except two or three individuals who are not at home, and a few others, who do not incline ta receive such a visit. I have also had a few public meetings ; the last was held yesterday evening at Mimms, in a meeting-house belong- ing to friends. In the course of my engagements in this quarter, mourning and lamentation have been much more frequently the covering of my spirit, than any thing like rejoicing. Yet, I verily be- lieve, there is a precious few, who are sweetly preserved loyal to.the King of kings. May their hands grow stronger and stronger in the holy ■warfare ; and may the number of upriglit hearted atandard-bearers, be increased amongst them. Fourth day, 4th of third month. We have now been nearly two weeks very closely engaged in our arduous service of visit-* 8 3 18-1 SOME AccorxT or ing families of friends in G race-Church-Streot monthly meeting : and my beloved and honour- able companion and myself, have hitherto been enabled to move along in much harmony and concord. I feel it very relieving to my exercised, and often deeply tried mind, to have the com- pany and help of one whose religious experience has been much larger than my own. One who, after so long a warfare under the. banner of the Captain of salvation, cao frequently testify that he is worthy to be obeyed to the utmost of our ability : that verily his " yoke is easy, and his Iburden light."* I think I never could more feel- ingly subscribe to the same gracious truth, than since the commencement of the present engage>- nient; for though, at times, the faithful labourer must be brought aito a state of bondage, when and where the pure seed, is kept in captivity; yet it is a favour to be fouqd worthy to suffer with a suffering Lord. I believe all the exer- cises which dedicated minds may be permitted to pass through, for themselves and tor others, are not so great as those which are often im- posed, by the enemy of all good, upon such as are pursuing the vain and delusive pleasures of world. f Mat, xi. 30, MARY ALEXANDEH. Second day, Ifitli of third month. Yesterday my much beloved companion left me, after our attending the morning meeting at Grace-Church-Street, and having a solid season of religious retirement, at Joseph Savory's, where we were nearly a montli very kindly cared for, by him, his wife, and daughter Mary. Mary Pryor went that evening ta Hertford, in order to attend the select quarterly meeting there, in the evening. We were favoured to part imder a feeling of that unity, which had been mercifully vouchsafed to us during our late en- gagement. A tribute of humble gratitude was raised in our hearts to the bountiful Giver of every blessing, for the support which had been from time to time granted us ; and for the holy aid which, in a peculiar manner, was in some families dispensed to us, to atlvocate his pre- cious cause. This, on the bended knees, was vocally acknowledged by my dear friend, and heartily subscribed unto by myself, in prostra-- tion of soul before the Most Hit^h : and a song of praise lived in my heart through the remain- ing part of the day. To-morrow I expect to reach ColchesteK, where, the next day, L hope to meet uiy dear 18G SOME ACCOUNT OP friend Martha Brewster, who is liberated by her friends at home, to accompany me through the families in that monthly meeting, and to visit some other meetings in Essex. Colchester, seventh day, 28th of tlie third month. We have nearly got through our visit to the families of friends in this monthly meeting. And my beloved companion M. B. and myself,, have harmonized in our feeble endeavours to promote the holy cause among our fellow pro- fessors hereabouts; many of whom we cannot but covet may know an increased dedication of heart to the pure unfoldings of heavenly love. By tliis means, they would become strengthened to stand faithful to the various testimonies given us as a people, to uphold to the world. We have felt our minds animated and comforted in beholding tlie upright zeal, which clothes our ancient and honourable friend and father in the church, dear John Kendall, under whose roof we have been kindly accommodated during our tarriauc© here. On second day, the 30th, we left Colchester, and went to Dunmow, where, the next day, we attended a monthly meeting, and, taking meetings MARY ALEXANDER, isr in our ■way at Stanstead, Bardfield, and Sudbury, we reached Ipswich on 2d day, the Cth of fourth month. On third day, we attended the monthly meeting there, wheni delivered up my certificate; and had cause to acknowledge, that although I have passed through some very pinching trials, and some seasons of close exercise; yet, that holy help has been near in the time of need. In the remembrance thereof, my soul feels re- newedly bowed in thankfulness to the great Author of every, blessing. I returned home on fourth day, the 8th ; and though the sensible enjoyment of divine accep- tance is much withheld, I feel, at times, ability to adopt the language of the psalmist, where he says : " Bless the Lord, O my soul ; and all that is within me bless his holy name. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his bciiejits" * * Psalm ciii. 1, •188 SOME ACCOUNT OF CHAPTER Xir. 21st of 7th Monti), 1808, to the 27th of 8th Month, 1809, Farts •with her nephews W. II. A. and J, A. — xcith her sister Ann arid brother William. — Visit to heads of families in her own monthly meeting.— York. — /ic- turns home through Lincolnshire. 1808. Fifth clay, tlie 21st of seventh month. This day William Henry Alexander, and his brother Joseph, left Needham for Broughton. A separation which, to my affectionate feelings, is very pinching, having no expectation of ever seeing much more of them. They have always •been exceedingly dear to me for their beloved parents' sake ; and, at present, there is much in the precious boys also to attach me closely to them. The prayer of my heart is, that what- ever may be their future allotment in life, if they should be permitted to arrive at a state of maturi- ty, they may be preserved within the limitations of the pure truth, and so dedicated to the most noble cause, as to be found worthy to become standard-bearers in our Israel, when many of those, who now feel the weight of the Ark of our testimonies resting on their shoulders, shall be called froai works to rewards. Ameu. *rARY ALEXANDER. 189 At Bury, on the 21st of the nhith month, I took leave of my beloved sister Ann Alexander, oinder a feehng of very near regard ; she intend- ing to go forward thence towards York. This was another parting w hich very closely tried my tenderest feelnigs; but a degree of quiet which I believe was not at my own command, accom- panied my mind in my journey home, which was cause of humble gratitude to Him, who is able to say unto the troubled sea, " Peace, be -still."* It is a pleasant reflection, that during the time of our residing in the same place, a precious harmony was uniformly maintained between us ; and much do I desire that though we are now likely to be far separated in body, we may know that durable cement, true unity .of spirit, which is the bond of lasting peace. On fifth day afternoon, the 13th of tenth iinonth, n)y beloved brother Wm. Alexander left Needham, his native place, with a prospect of settling at York. This was to me a closely trying separation, from one to whom by the ties of natural affection, and the still more unitins bond of religious kinship, I have, from early Jife, to the present time, felt veiy nearly at- lachcd. Ilis removal with that of his endeared * Mauk iv. 39, SOME ACCOrNT OT companion in life, and their precious cliildreu, has made a chasm in our domestic circle here, ■v\4iich I cannot expect ever to see filled up to me: yet, as 1 believe my beloved brother and sister, are entrusted with qualifications adapted to their new situation, 1 feel something whicii forbids my repining at the loss, which, as an individual, I have sustained by their departure; though I have felt, and still do feel, so inti- mately bound to them, that the separation is one of my most bitter cups. But though these dear objects of my love are so far removed, as to preclude all probability of much more sweet and social intercourse with them, I am fully aware that I have cause still to number my remaining blessings, both in a religious and domestic point of view. And my heart's desire is, to stand so unreservedly dedicated to the Author of them all, as to feel a capacity to know, what I shall render for his multiplied favours.* * As her own memorandums furnish but few remarks on llie period contained in this chapter, the following extract from a letter to a near relative, dated 21st, ly ih month, 1 808, may be acceptable to the reader. After statin;- that a lieavy full of snow had prevented many friends from gettinj to the »[uartcrty meeting, particularly from the western side of the foiinly, she says, " We had not one from that quarter in jflARY ALEXANDEJ:. 191 3809. Third day, the 10th of the first month. I have lately been engaged with divers other friends, by appointment of our monthly meet- ing, in compliance with a recommendation of the last yearly meeting, in paying a visit to the heads of families, on the important subject of the fourth query.* Though I have not felt the weight of tlie work so to rest upon my shoul- ders, as I believe it has rested on some of my fellow-labourers ; yet, since the close of the en- gagement, I have been permitted to review my movements with them, in a degree of humble confidence that it was my desire, when I could do nothing for the promotion of the cause which I the sclert meeting, and not a represpntative in the women's nieetins, thongh four were appointed. Thou wilt supixise such a deprivation just now, must prove particularly tryiog to some of us. Indeed I cannot describe what my feeiings were, when I found how our little roinpany was likelj to be dtserted : but, with thankfulness we may acknowledfre, though we were deprived of divers of our friends, whose presence would have gladdened our hearts, jet the great President of our assemblies condescended to uffurd a re- newal of his ancient goodness, and enabled some of our Bpirits to bow in reverence at his sacred footstool, aud im- plore the contmuance of his fatherly protei tiun." * This query is the third to m omek fiiends. 19^ SOME ACCOUNT 0"F love more than life, I might be preserved fi-oni do- ing anything, that could, in any wise, weaken the hands of those with w horn 1 have been banded, and to whom 1 felt bound in near gospel fellowship. And I believe, in llie close of our visit, we have, individually and unitedly, had cause to acknow- ledge that a portion of solid satisfaction, has been the recompence of our resignation to tliis delegation of the churck. Fourth day, 21st of sixth montb. Though my present motive in leaving home, is a social visit to my endeared relatives at York, yet I feel desirous of dwelling so near to the pure spring of eternal excellency, as to be permitted to accompany with the incorruptible seed of the kingdom; whether in suffering or re- joicing : and I crave the blessing of preservation both in heights and in depths. First day, 27th of eighth mouth. Last fifth day evening I reached home, after an absence of nine \\ eeks and one day. Greatest part of the time has been spent with my dear bro- ther and sister at York. My brother S. Alexan- der, met me at Ackworth general meeting, and I returued with him to Ypfk ; after m hich we left MARY ALEXANDER, J93 the county by Hull and Thorne; and from the latter went into Lincolnshire, uherc wc vi-^tcd all the meetings except two, which were taken by my brother, in his way into Yorkshire. In leaving home, I had no expectation of engaging in religious service ; yet my beloved brother going out with a prospect of visiting the above meetings, and intimating it to our monthly meeting, I have felt well satisfied with the op- portunity of accompanying him therein. I trust some of the little flock, \\here our lots have been cast, have been encouraged to pursue the one thing needful, with increasing vigilance; and our own minds strengthened renewedly to acknow- ledge the goodness and mercy of a faithful. Creator, who is ever ready to uphold in every season of trial, his humbly dependent children. SUPPLEMENT by the EDITOR, Containing some account of her last journey, also of her illness and decease. Tlie reader will probably have noticed a con- siderable cliasm between the two last chapters ; for Concerning this period the Editor does not find any memorandum of her own. Tliis might arise from her not being particularly engaged in ad- vocating that cause which she evinced to be so dear to her; yet there is reason to believe, that during this, and the remaining time, of which she relates but few occurrences, her mind was preparing for the engagement in which she closed her faithful labours. iMthough much gospel service was not her nllytmcnt in these periods, yet she was very use- fully occupied ; many times, and on divers oc- casions, in kind assistance to some of her near relatives, whose situation claimed her skilful care, 5s an affectionate nurse and attendant.— One of these was our beloved niece, Lucy Bar- ton, whom she attended at the time of her de- cease, in the suunner of 180B.* » For an ai count of Lucy Barton, see the lOlh part of Piety Promoted; WARY ALEXAN'DER. T come now to relate some particulars of her last religious journey, the sequel of which deeply aft'ects my heart ; yet, I hope, with resig- nation to unerring Wisdom, who has seen meet to cut her work short hi righteousness. She left home, with the full unity and concur- rence of her friends, on the '2Gth of the tenth month, 1809, under a concern to visit the fami- lies of friends at Worcester, and to hold some meetings in those parts. She was accompanied to Worcester by her brother and sister Jesup. In a letter to her brother Samuel, from Warwick, after speaking of two friends calling on her at Bury at Martha Brewster's, she says, " Before we left that quiet dwelling, my beloved M. B. in a little season of solid retirement, had a morsel to hand, which proved to my deeply discouraged mind, for some hours after, truly consoling : yet, I have repeatedly, since that time, experi- enced my faith to be, as it were, smaller than the gram of mustard seed; and 1 have been almost ready to doubt the rectitude of my present undertaking. At some other times a portion ot holy aid, has, in mercy, been so far extended as to lead-me to hope 1 have uot run ■\vitliout >eing sent." ^3 396 SOME ACCOUNT Ot " That evening we reached Hannah Evens* hospitable habitation in good time for tea ; and were not entirely unexpected. We staid the meeting next day, and left Godmanchester, about two o'clock, for Wellingborough ; where, from a letter I hope thou receivedst from Eliza- beth Wheeler, I suppose you had anticipated an awful meeting with our beloved friends Benjamin Middleton and his daughters. We had not obtain- ed the smallest intimation of the situation of the family till we got into the house, when we were met by cousin Wheeler, whose coimtenance plainly indicated something important. Greatly surprised we were, on being informed that, after two weeks illness, our much esteemed friend, Tabitha Middleton, had, last 4th day, closed her valuable life. Dear Benjamin and his children revived us with much composure, and we spent a very interesting evening in the house of mourning. Before we left them this morning, I felt bound to yield to a season of retirement, and in it to offer the tribute of sympaithy which lived in my heart towards them, accompanied with a persuasion, that not only a glorious man- sion was prepared for the dear deceased; but that those who remained to lament her depar- tuje, were in a particular manner under the protecting wing of ancient Goodness." MARY ALEXANDER. 197 At Worcester she was joined by William Forster, jun. (then in those parts on religious service) with a view of entering upon the ardu- ous engagement of visiting friends of that city in their families. At a monthly meeting held there the 26th of the tenth month : they pre- sented their certificates, and opened their pro- spect, which met the concurrence of friends. Tlie next morning they entered upon the work ; and proceeded without intermission, as to any other religious engagement^ till the first day week following, the 5th of the eleventh month ; when they had a large public meeting in friends meeting-house, appointed with a view, princi- pally, to the lower class of the inhabitants of that place. The next evening they had a meet- ing in a parish on the odier side of the river; and, on od day morning, the 7th, attended ano- ther public meeting in friends meeting-house appointed under a concern for the higher classes of the people. That evening they finished the family visit in Worcester. The testimonial sent from that monthly meeting to the monthly meeting of which she was a member, may be the best criterion, by which to judge of the sa- tisfaction this visit afforded to her friends. An extract from it will be found at the close of this account, 198 SOME ACfcOUNT Of! As her labours, at this period, \vere4iastening to a close, perhaps a nihiute recital of the oc- cupation of her time, though sometimes unat- tended with any particular observations, may be acceptable to the reader. On 4th day morning, the 8th of the eleventh month, W. Forster, jun. and herself, attended a public meeting at Mal- vern, and one in the evenmg at Upton on Severn ; and that night went to Tewksbury. On 5th day forenoon, they were at a meetnig of fnends^ of that town ; had a meeting at Pershore that evening, and reached Evesham the same night. On sixth day evening they had a meeting on the premises of a friend at Nelherton, about four miles from Evesham. The next morning they returned there and called upon several friends in their families; and that evening were at a public meeting, a mile and a half out of the town. On 1st day morning, the 12th, they were at a. meeting witli friends at Evesham ; and, in friends meeting-house, in the evening, they had a very crowded meeting with the inhabitants. Before she went to bed, my dear sister felt herself much indisposed, but did not make much com- plaint. The next day her companion thought MAKY ALEXANDER. 199 her very unwell ; but in the atternoon they went to Alcester, and, in the evening, attended a large and satisfactory meeting in the Town-Hall ; to- wards the close of which, she was engaged in solemn supplication. They walked neai-ly a mile to a friend's house to lodge. There she appeared much exhausted with fatigue, went to bed very unwell, and ))assed a restless night. The next morning, the 14lh, they returned into the town, and had three sittings among friends in their families, in which, although very un- well, she took an acceptable part. In the after- noon, they returned to the friend's house at u hich they had lodged ; and, in the evening, had au opportunity in the family, in Vwiich she was strengthened to labour under considerable exer- cise of mind. She as rather more unwell be- fore she went to bed, and had another poor night. Two meetings were appointed for the following day, the 1 5lh, and it was pretty much concluded, over night, for her to give up that in the morning at Broomsgrove, and to meet William in the evening at Droitwich. On ar- riving at the latter place, however, he was sur- prised and affected to find that, accompanied by Candia Biirlingham, who had been her com- panion since leaving Eveham, she was gone ou eoo SOME ACCOUNT OF to Worcester in a post-cliaise; finding hersell so ill, as to wish to get on as fast as she could. They arrived at Worcester in the evening, where she was violently affected with sickness, but her. complaiiat was deemed bilious, as she was sub- ject to such a disorder. Tiiat night she passed without much sleep ; and the next morning an eruption appeared. She first discovered it herself and said, " Surely I have got the small-pox,'* adding, " I believe I know when I took it ; irom a little child whom I met in the street previously to leaving Worcester." An apothecary was called in, who pronounced the disorder to be the small-pox. He thought she' had treated herself judiciously, and spoke very encourage- ingly of the symptoms. Her sister Jesup, who was returned to Worcester from a visit in Wilt- shire, also thought it of a large and favourable sort. She did not appear at all alarmed at finding the disorder was the small-pox; although, in early life, she had felt much dread of it; but expressed great concern at the trouble she was likely to bring on her cousins Thomas and Eliza Burlingham's family, feeling very tenderly for them. That afternoouWm. Forster, jun, who was ftlARY ALEXANDER, 201 sboiit to write to one of her brothers, at her request, went up and sat awhile with her. Slie desired her very dear love to her brother and sister, and wished William to say, " That although she had passed through a greater de- gree of exercise and suffering than ever she had experienced in the same space of time, accom- panied with less evidence of divine acceptance ; yet, that afternoon, she thought she had been favoured with a precious evidence, that she had been there (alluding to her late visit) in better Avisdom than her own. This, she said, had tended to quiet the anxiety with which she was at first tried, in considering the difficulty and perplexity she might occasion to others ; and ehe humbly trusted it might prove as a little anchorage to her mind in seasons of future Cossing." She further remarked that it looked probable ihe might get through the disorder; but added, " I feel no wish respecting it." On \Villiam Forster, jun. asking her, just before he left the room, how she Was, she replied, " I am as com- fortable as I can be." At that time she was quite free from pain, except a little fullness in her throat, 202 SOME ACCOUNT OP In the evening, speaking of the public meet* , ing at Alcester, she remarked what a comfortable one it was, aud said, " 1 little thought it would be the last." Then pausing awhile, added, " Probably." She then observed that it was trying to her to be so far from her relations; but added, " The cause is dearer to me than my •natural life." As soon as her complaint was determined to be the small-pox, her cousins T. and E. Bur- lingham left their house and went over the way to his father's, on account of their infant son. The next morning, 6th day, the 17th, some family arrangements were made, which, in ad- dition to the kindness and cheerfulness with vhich her dear relatives gave up their house for her accommodation, appeared quite to relieve her mind from all anxiety. After this her head and throat became very painful ; and the difficulty of swallowing, and f ven of breathing, w ere very alarming ; and she herself thought she should never be able to swallow again ; but, by proper applicatioji, these symptoms were much relieved. MARY ALEXANDER. 203 At different times, in the course of her deeply trying ilhicLs, she would say, " It would be a kindness to let me sink quietly away, rather than keep me in this state of suffering ;" yet she fre- quently expressed herself very gratefully to those Avho nursed her; sometimes saying, "she hoped they would be rewarded for their tenderness and care, better than she could reward them." She was favoured with much serenity and resig- nation throughout, and appeared to have nothing of importance, either of spirituals or temporais^ to claim her attention. Four days after the crisis of the disorder, she told her medical attendant she got no better; and on the following day, she desired that her relations might be informed, with lier dear love, that she felt her w eakness daily increase, and thought she should hardly be likely to see them any more. Her weakness not being greater than the apothecary expected, and no unfavour- able symptoms appearing, he did not apprehend any cause for alarm ; on the contrary, on being interrogated, at different times, he had always expressed himself favourably as to her getting through. TJie next day, the CQlh, her disorder put on a very unfavourable appearance, and further ad- s 204 SOME ACCOUNT OF vice was immediately procuied ; bi.it \he phvsi- cian did not think so unfavourably of her a-; tlie surgeon. I'hat evening and the next morning, by the means used for her relief, there was so much improvement, that her medical attendants, and those around her, Mattered themselves with hopes of her recovery. She passed through 5th