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 PRINCETON, N. J- 
 
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 SAMUEL AGNEW, 
 
 OF PHILADELPHIA, PA. 
 
 = BV 4501 .A9 1841 
 
 Austin, John Mather, 1805- 
 
 1880. 
 A voice to youth 
 
VOICE TO YOUTH, 
 
 ADDRESSED TO 
 
 YOUNG MEN AND YOUNG LADIES. 
 
 BY REV. J. M. AUSTIN. 
 
 SIXTH EDITION. 
 
 UTICA: 
 ORREN HUTCHINSON 
 1841. 
 
Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1838, 
 by Grosh & Hutchinson, in the Clerk's Office of the 
 District Court of tlie United States, for the Northern DisUict 
 of New- York. 
 
 GR03H & WALKER, PRINTERS. 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 A VOICE TO YOUTH. 
 
 Introduction. I 
 
 Chapter I. — The necessity of reflection. 10 
 
 Chapter II. — Claims on youth. 17 
 
 Chapter III. — Formation of character, 27 
 
 Chapter IV. — The good opinion of others. 34 
 
 Chapter V. — On reading. 40 
 
 Chapter VI. — Practical observation. 54 
 
 Chapter VII. — Independence of mind. 61 
 
 Chapter VIII.— Politeness. 70 
 
 Chapter IX. — Letter Writing. 82 
 
 Chapter X. — Religious opinions. 88 
 
 Chapter XL — Treatment of religious error. 107 
 
 A VOICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
 Chapter I. — Introduction — Selection of associates. 117 
 
 Chapter II. — Temptations. 125 
 
 Chapter III.— The habits. 136 
 
 Chapter IV.— Conversation. 161 
 
 Chapter V. — Amusements. 173 
 
 Chapter VI.— Dress. 181 
 
 Chapter VII. — General demeanor. 188 
 
 Chapter VIII. — Cultivating the mind. 201 
 
 Chapter IX.— Establishing fixed principles. 214 
 
 Chapter X.— Stability of purpose. 222 
 
 Chapter XL— Politics. 230 
 
 Chapter XII.— Marriage. 236 
 
A VOICE TO YOUNG LADIES. 
 
 Chapter I. — Introduction. 253 
 
 Chapter II. — Female influence. 2C1 
 
 Chapter III. — Early associates. 277 
 
 Chapter IV. — Forming the manners. 284 
 
 Chapter V.— The habits. 298 
 
 Chapter VI. — Domestic duties. 310 
 
 Chapter VII.— Dress. 321 
 
 Chapter VIII.— Recreations. 332 
 
 Chapter IX. — Mental cultivation, 341 
 
 Chapter X. — The disposition. 350 
 
 Chapter Xr. — Conversation. 358 
 
 Chapter XII. — Self-government 369 
 
 Chapter XIIL— Marriage. , 379 
 
 APPENDIX. 
 
 Amusements of youth. 393 
 
 Duties of youth. 408 
 
PUBLISHER'S PREFACE. 
 
 Though works intended for the direction and guidance 
 of young gentlemen and ladies, are already very numerous, 
 and many of them highly worthy of public patronage, yet 
 the most of them seemed objectionable to us, because of 
 their religious instruction. Errors on so important a subject, 
 especially when addressed to the young, cannot be too care- 
 fully guarded against, and it appeared to us, th.-\t by the man- 
 ner of presentation, as well as by the cheerles ■. and terrific 
 views presented, too many of these works were calculated 
 to render religion a gloomy, forbidden and repulsive object 
 to the youthful mind. Others, more intent on rendering 
 their works acceptable to the youthful taste as it is, than of 
 directing that taste to what it should be, have altogether 
 avoided that important subject; the only immutable standard 
 of morality and propriety ; and based their instructions on 
 the fashion of this world, which passeth away in continual 
 changes. 
 
 With these feelings and views, and anxious to supply the 
 denominatioFx to which we belong, in particular, with a work 
 to which they could not object, at least on religious grounds, 
 we induced Mr. Austin to undertake this work. It was 
 published, in a series of articles, in the Evangelical Maga- 
 zine and Gospel Advocate, in the years 1837 and 1838, and 
 met, we believe, with very general approbation from proba- 
 bly 35,000 or 40,000 readers. The classes particularly ad- 
 dressed, have been much interested, so far as we can learn, 
 in its perusal, and many have expressed much gratification 
 on learning that It was to appear, also, in a moie permanent 
 and convenient form. Believing that as a book it will be 
 read again, with more pleasure, and as much benefit as at 
 first ; and that many, who had not the pleasure of perusing 
 
it OS it appeared week by week in the Magazino and Advo- 
 cate, will be benefited and pleased by its perusal in this 
 form, it is now published in a neat volume, and offered lor 
 public patronage. All who wish for a gift which they can 
 present to a youthful friend, without a fear of offending the 
 purest literary taste, the chastest delicacy, or the most fer- 
 vent piety, will find it in this work. That it may be greatly 
 blessed of our heavenly Father in inspiring a spirit of 
 cheerful devotion, a correct taste, and a pure und affection- 
 ate morality among the rising generation, our country's hope 
 and pride, is the fervent prayer of 
 
 Utica, June 1, 1838. THE PUBLISHERS. 
 
 PREFACE TO THE SECOND EDITION. 
 
 The first edition of 1500 copies having been dispo- 
 sed of in a few months, and the work having been warmly 
 commended by the literary and religious journals of the day, 
 we have procured the author's amendments aad corrections, 
 and added an Appendix, which ^vp. trust will not be found 
 inconsistent witb, nr unworthy nf the work itsflf. Thus im- 
 proved and enlarged, we send forth this second edition with 
 our continued prayer, that, like its predecessors, it may be 
 eminently blessed of God in advancing human improvement* 
 by leading the Youth of our happy land to virtue, usefulness 
 and lasting felicity. 
 
 Vtica, May 1, 1839. THE PUBLISHERS. 
 
A VOICE TO YOUTH 
 
INTRODUCTION. 
 
 i ■ ' 
 
 Early youth is justly considered the most ia 
 teresting and important, yet dangerous period ol 
 human existence. It is interesting, because of the 
 innocence, the hilarity, and the zest for enjoy- 
 ment, which is then evinced. The mind, like the 
 morning flower, at this period begins more fully 
 to open its leaves to be impressed with the enli- 
 vening rays of the sun of knowledge, and evinces 
 by the gradual developement of its powers, that 
 its possessor belongs to a grade of beings vastly 
 more elevated than the brute creation. Youth is 
 the most important time of life, masmuch as the 
 habits then begin to lay their foundations — the 
 character commences its formation, and the occu- 
 pation is to be chosen — upon which depend main- 
 ly, the enjoyments and prosperity of after life. 
 And it is the most dangerous period, because, 
 ardent, volatile, inexperienced, and thirsting for 
 happiness, the young are exceedingly liable to be 
 seduced into wrong paths — into those fascinating, 
 but fatal ways, which lead to degradation and 
 wretchedness. It is at this season, that the sports 
 and amusements of childhood, lose their charm, 
 and their influence. Childish things are put away 
 1 
 
2 rNTFODUCriON. 
 
 and there commences a desire for, and a looking 
 after more mature, yet more dangerous sources ot 
 enjoyment. 
 
 As the gallant bark leaves the secure haven to 
 go out upon the bosom of the mighty deep, with 
 its snow white sails spread to the inviting wind, 
 its broad flag and gay streamers floating in air — 
 bounding o'er the billows ''as a thing of life," and 
 wholly unconscious that Ocean, in its far regions, 
 is nursing the whirlwind and the storm — so youth 
 launches upon the vast sea of life, decked with 
 all those gay and bright fancies wMch the imagi- 
 nation vividly paints in the morning of exist- 
 ence ; spreads the wide expanded sails of hope, 
 and fain would believe that an ever-favoring breeze 
 will speedily waft to prosperity and peace. But 
 the young should be aware that, as the wide \Vaste 
 of waters is ploughed into the mountain wave by 
 the fury of the wind, so the sea of life is often 
 swept by howling tempests of disappointment and 
 misfortune ; and that upon the one, as upon the 
 other, unless they are guided by the pilots, wis* 
 dom and discretion, shipwrecked hopes and blast- 
 ed anticipations must ensue. .^ 
 
 Young ladies and young gentlemen — I crave 
 your attention for a short season, from time tc 
 time, as I proceed in a series of Essays, on a 
 variety of subjects intimately connected with your 
 welfare and happiness. Will you lend me a lis- 
 tening ear? Will you occasionally devote an 
 hour, to hear what I have to offer upon topicsr 
 
I^TRODucTro^^ 3 
 
 which you will acknowledge are of the utmost 
 importance to your peace and prosperity? Come, 
 sit down with me, and in a friendly manner, we 
 v/ill converse upon those things which pertain to 
 your future success in life. I am aware that, upon 
 the ears of some youth, the word advice grates 
 harshly. But I attribute this dislike more to the 
 improper manner in wiiich they have been in- 
 structed, than to any natural bias. Parents and 
 instructors often seem to imagine there is no 
 method to advise the young, but in the harsh 
 tones of reproof and upbraiding. And the effect 
 of such a course, is to harden those v/hom they 
 would benefit, and cause them to dislike every 
 thing which comes in the form of counsel. Ad- 
 vice, to be effectual, must be clothed in words of 
 affection and kindness, and accompanied with a 
 tender regard for the feelings of those to Avhom it 
 is tendered; and it should be given in such man- 
 ner as not to imply the degradation of those who 
 are its objects. Communicated in this manner, 
 I think it cannot truly be said, that, as a general 
 rule, youth are averse to counsel. Nevertheless, 
 it is well known that one of the common failings 
 of the young, is to be wise in their own conceit — 
 to imagine they can get along quite well of them- 
 selves, and that they can discover coming evils 
 and avoid them, as readily as their elders in life. 
 This wisdom, however, is of a premature growth, 
 and generally passes away as age advances ; but 
 often, not until it has inrolred its possessor in 
 
4 INTRODUCTION. 
 
 troubles and misfortunes which sometimes extend 
 through life. Hence have arisen those common 
 sayings, that youth is wiser at Jifteen than at 
 thirty — i. e. in its own estimation — and that the 
 first indication of true wisdom in the young, is, 
 their ascertaining and acknowledging how little 
 they do, in reality, know. i 
 
 Listen ! You desire to be happy — you thirst 
 for enjoyment. This is natural, and it is proper. 
 God has designedly implanted this desire within 
 you, and he is perfectly willing that you should 
 gratify it in the proper manner ! But, remember 
 that in this, as in every thing else, there is aright 
 way and a wrong way to accomplish your object. 
 If you adopt the right way, the desired good is 
 speedily obtained and enjoyed. But if, unhap- 
 pily, you select the wrong way, so far from secu- 
 ring the wished for happiness, you will reap nought 
 but misfortune, degradation and wretchedness. 
 And in pursuing this wrong course, however you 
 may imagine, for a season, under the fascinations 
 which evil often assumes, that you have found the 
 real enjoyment desired, you will ere long discov- 
 er — and often too late — that you have embraced 
 a gilded shadow, filled with human wo, while the 
 actual good is far from you. You can but per- 
 ceive, therefore, the critical condition in which 
 you stand, and the importance and necessity of 
 obtaining counsel in regard to your future con- 
 duct. 
 
 Were you ab:>ut to travel into a far land, a 
 
INTRODUCTION, O 
 
 stranger to the way^ and though conscious that 
 your course would be surrounded by innumerable 
 dangers, yet ignorant of their nature and of the 
 best means to avoid them, how anxious would 
 you be to obtain information and advice! Pru- 
 dence, and the desire of self-preservation, would 
 dictate the propriety of seeking some individual 
 who had travelled the road, or the most danger- 
 ous portions of it, and of obtaining his instruc- 
 tion in relation to the nature and situation of those 
 dangers, and his advice regarding measures to es- 
 cape them. And what is life, but a jom-ney to a 
 distant clime, upon an untried highway? This 
 important journey the young are just commen- 
 cing. Undoubtedly, in the exuberance of youth- 
 ful fancy, all appears fair and bright before you. 
 Vivid imagination strews your pathway with the 
 gayest and sv/eetest flowers of existence. How 
 bright and beautiful is the future pictured to the 
 young mind ! No clouds or darkness intervene 
 to throw a shade of sadness on the fair prospect 
 of youth's morning. 
 
 lay are the flowers withont a fhom, 
 id bright the hues of opening day; 
 Wild music lingers in its bowers — 
 Jrateful the fragi-ance of its flowers — 
 
 And all betokens bhss. 
 ipe weaves her wild enclianting song, 
 d sings at every path along, 
 
 That all shall be like this." 
 
 But notwithstanding the captivating visions of the 
 imagination, and the sweet whisperings of hope, 
 you well know that your way will be beset by 
 many, many dangers. Appearances are often very 
 1* 
 
L\7RGDUCriON. 
 
 deceitful. '• Poisonous beriles Irequently look 
 tempting to tlie appetite — ice, wlicn it sometimes 
 seems sound, if ventured upon, will break, and 
 let him wiiQ is daring into the waters — and the 
 wise man says, that 'wine, when it givcth its 
 rolor in the cup, at the last biteth like a serpent, 
 and slingeth like an adder.'" The rose grows in 
 close proximity to the thorn, and beneath the fair- 
 est flowers, sometimes nestle the poisonous rep- 
 tile and the envenomed scorpion. Permit not, 
 then, the beauty in wliich your fancy paints the 
 future, to lull you into false security in respect to 
 the dangers which that future conceals, or to the 
 necessity of guarding yourselves against them. 
 It rather becomes your safety and interest, as well 
 as duty, to seek diligently for all the instruction 
 and knowledge which can throw light upon your 
 way, in the intricate and uneven windings of 
 earthly existence. 
 
 Are additional inducements necessary, to cause 
 you to listen to counsel and admonition? Look 
 abroad into the world. Here is an individual who 
 enjoys the respect and confidence of community. 
 The aged A'^enerate him, and " the young rise up 
 and call him blessed." He has no enemies — all 
 are his friends — all speak well of him, all confide 
 in him. How has he obtained this universal 
 esleem ? — how has he ascended this eminence of 
 respect? You anticipate the reply. In seeking 
 for - liappiness, he consulted the experience of 
 ihyse who had travelled before liim— he studied 
 
INTRODUCTION. 7 
 
 the history of his race, and marked where others 
 had failed, that he might avoid their errors — he 
 listened patiently to words of advice, and in this 
 way, found the true path and faithfully pursued 
 it, and is now enjoying the prosperity and peace 
 to which it conducts. But another picture pre- 
 sents itself for our contemplation. There is a 
 man whose condition is directly the reverse. He 
 is shunned and despised by all around him. Not 
 because he is poor ; but because his poverty has 
 been caused by profligacy and vice. The gooa 
 avoid him as a moving pestilence — the virtuous 
 point to him as a warning to their children of the 
 sad effects of iniquity — and even his vicious com- 
 panions are ashamed of him. Follow him in his 
 miserable career. He mingles Avith the refuse, 
 the outcasts of society; for they alone will be- 
 come his associates — he becomes familiar with 
 the alms-house, the penitentiary, and finally ends 
 his days in ignominy upon the gallows ! Is it not 
 important to inquire into the cause of the dispa- 
 rity between the condition of this man, and of the 
 other, whom we noticed ? How did he become 
 involved in so much infamy and wretchedness? 
 Was it his own choice ? — did he desire and seek 
 degradation and ruin? No. In the outset of life, 
 his desires were as those of the youth who is now 
 perusing these lines. He wished to enjoy him- 
 self through life, precisely as you do. He in- 
 tended to take the best measures to accomplish 
 ibis desire, as is now undoubtedly your determi- 
 
8 INTnODLXTIO.N. 
 
 nation— and Ko no moie foresaw or expected that 
 he should end his days in infamy, the object of 
 scorn and disgust, than are such thoughts now 
 dwelling in your mind. But, alas ! he selected 
 the nrong path ! He deemed himself very wise — 
 he knew much better than others in more advan^ 
 ced life, where and how he could obtain true 
 enjoyment — he desired no light or instruction 
 upon this subject — he turned an ear deaf as the 
 adder's, to all the counsel, the advice and admo- 
 nition of parents, relatives, friends— and with 
 headstrong and willing blindness, strided on in 
 that way which eventually involved him in iho 
 vortex of disgrace and ruin ! Do you desire your 
 condition to become like his? No — no — say one 
 and all ! And yet it amounts almost to a certain- 
 ty, that such, or similar, will be your condition, 
 if you imitate his example in the commencement 
 of life. But that example, I trust, you have no 
 desire to follow ; but rather are more wisely in- 
 clined to obtain all the information in your pow- 
 er, on those subjects connected intimately with 
 your welfare and happiness. 
 
 Hearken, then, to one who, though compara- 
 tively not far advanced in years, yet may be con- 
 sidered past the most dangerous period of youth — 
 one who has mixed not a little with the world — 
 tasted of its sweets and its bitter — been a learner 
 m the school of experience, and as usual, paid 
 dearly for some of the knowledge which he has 
 thus obtained — and who, not having yet, by rea- 
 
INTRODlCTlo.N. 
 
 son of age, lost the vivid impressions thus en- 
 stamped upon his mind, is enabled more readily 
 to appreciate the peculiarities of your situation, 
 and to realize to a good degree, the nature of the 
 dangers around you. I would speak to you as a 
 brother — I would warn, advise, and counsel, as 
 one deeply interested in your welfare and pros- 
 perity. I have no wish to deprive you of a single 
 enjoyment, that is proper for you, as intellectual 
 and moral beings — and surely, as wise youth, you 
 can desire to participate in none other. I shall 
 make no efforts to frighten you into compliance 
 with the advice miparted ; but shall appeal exclu- 
 sively to your reason, your good sense, to con- 
 vince you of the propriety of doing that which 
 will enhance your respectability and true happi- 
 ness, and of avoiding those things which will in- 
 volve you in disgrace and wretchedness — that if 
 possible, I may benefit those whom I address. 
 
 In carrying my design into execution, I shall 
 first address both sexes indiscriminately, upon 
 those subjects in which it may be supposed they 
 are mutually interested. In the next place, my 
 remarks will be confined exclusively to those 
 topics which pertain to young men. And lastly, 
 the young ladies will be addressed. I 
 
CHAPTER I. 
 
 THE NECE9.-»ITY OF REFLECTION. 
 
 By reflection, I would signify, the habit of 
 often and seriously meditating upon the various 
 topics connected with your prosperity and enjoy- 
 ments. On arriving at years of understanding, 
 you perceive that the race to which you helong, 
 exists in company with countless grades of other 
 creatures. And you also discover that man is ele- 
 vated far above, and is, indeed, ruler over all oth- 
 er forms of earthly existence. The cause of this 
 exaltation, it can not fail to be perceived, arises 
 from the superior faculties with which you are 
 endowed — the intellectual and moral capacities 
 which compose the mind. These mental powers 
 make man all that he is — the sage, the philoso- 
 pher, the mathematician, the astronomer — capa- 
 ble of penetrating deep into the operations of Na- 
 ture's laws — capable of converting the elements 
 to his purposes, and of ascending high the infinite 
 scale of attainable knowledge. Take from the 
 human race the^se power?, and the bright chain 
 
 10 
 
THE NfJCESrilTY OF Ktfl.ECTION. 11 
 
 which links them to a higher world, to a more 
 lofty grade of beings, is severed, and they sink to 
 the level of the brutes — diflfering from them only 
 in form and feature. For what purpose are these 
 ennobling faculties bestowed upon you ? — to re- 
 main idle and dormant ? Surely not. Nature 
 never imparts any power but for use. To animals 
 is granted instinct for their guidance and control j 
 and the dictates of this instinct, which is ever in 
 active operation, they invariably follow while life 
 endures. But to man has been given the higher 
 power of reason, for a similar purpose — to direct 
 and govern him in his intercourse with his fellow- 
 beings. These mental faculties in man, should 
 no more be idle, than is instinct in brutes. And 
 a neglect in the one case, would be as deleteri- 
 ous to the enjoyments of its possessor, as in the 
 other. 
 
 The habit of exercising the mind in reflection 
 upon the future, as well as the past and present, 
 is one of the most valuable that can be established. 
 And yet it is one, in regard to which, the young 
 are extremely liable to fail. The present — the 
 present — with its amusements and its gayeties, 
 absorbs the greater proportion of their thoughts 
 And when they occasionally glance at the future, 
 it is too often, but to dress it in the bright attire 
 of the imagination — in the blooming garlands of 
 life's sweetest pleasures. I would not unneces- 
 sarily overshadow present enjoyments, by the 
 gloomy clouds of future anticipated evils. But 
 
12 THE NEOLStfllY c.F ann.ECTlOK. 
 
 the young should bear in ujind the truth of the 
 stanzas — 
 
 " The beam of ihe inorninp. the bud of the Spring, 
 
 The promise of beauty hikJ brit;htness may bring ; 
 
 liut clouds gather darkness, and, touched by the frost, / 
 
 The pride ol^ tiie i)l.intanil tlir inoniiii'; are lost. I 
 
 Thus tlie bright and the beautiful ever decay, j 
 
 Life's morn and life's llowers— O, they (luick pass away !" | 
 
 It is important that youth should remember these 
 things, because they are true ; and because a 
 knowledge of them may inspire the mind with a 
 sense of the importance of frequently casting 
 your thoughts into the future, to select your course 
 of life, rather than to rush blindfolded along. 
 When the ship approaches a dangerous coast, a 
 '■ look out" is stationed, to warn of the approach 
 to reef or breaker. So the young, in navigating 
 the dangerous voyage of life, should establish 
 reflection as the " look out," to give timely notice 
 of those fatal shoals of imprudence and vice, 
 upon which so many, originally possessing the 
 brightest prospects, have been wrecked. 
 
 There are many advantages accruing from a 
 well established habit of reflection. It will ena- 
 ble you to form those just conceptions of your 
 nature and constitution, and of the laws by which 
 they are governed, that wdll make you wise in re- 
 gard to the true sources of your happiness. It 
 will show the vast distinction between those en- 
 joyments that are proper to you, as intellectual 
 beings, and those belonging more expressly to 
 your animal nature. Reflection will convince you 
 that y-pur higher faculties are bestowed upon you 
 
THE NLCESStTY OF REFLECTION. 13 
 
 to become sources of more pure, elevated and 
 lasting enjoyments, than can possibly be experi- 
 enced from the passions. It will teach you that 
 the individuals who forget or overlook these evi- 
 dent truths, and who depend for all their happi- 
 ness, upon the indulgence of evil propensities, not 
 only disgrace themselves, and the race to which 
 they belong, but are deprived of all the advanta- 
 ges of the higher powers bestowed upon them, 
 and might as well have been created the brute, as 
 for any important benefit which they obtain from 
 these valuable sources. It will convince you that 
 those in this condition, are in a bondage, deep, 
 disgraceful and miserable — a bondage to be feared 
 more deeply than prisons, chains and fetters. It 
 will satisfy you that '^ man was created for pur- 
 poses high and noble— such as angels engage in, 
 and in comparison with which, all other objects 
 sink into insignificance, and all other enjoyments 
 are contemptible as ashes." 
 
 Reflection is an important safe-guard in select- 
 ing associates, forming habits, choosing occupa- 
 tions, and, indeed, in all that concerns youth. — 
 The young man or the young woman who thinks 
 deeply, will act wisely. They will be aware of 
 the nature of the dangers which hover around 
 their path, and therefore, will act cautiously and 
 safely. They will be enabled to penetrate those 
 specious appearances in which vice so frequently 
 presents itself— they will look beneath the gaudy 
 veil which so often covers the deformities of sin, 
 2 
 
li THE NtCESSlTY OF KEFLLCTION. 
 
 and behold the native blackness of the monster. 
 They will be aware tliat "all is not gold that glit- 
 ters/' and will readily detect the gilded imitation 
 when it would occupy the place of the pure metal. 
 They will weigh well the influences and the ef- 
 fects of every important step, and not be led as- 
 tray by the deceitful devices of the transgressor. 
 How few, who are now advanced in years, would 
 not act materially different were they to pass over 
 the track of life again ! Experience has taught 
 them wisdom. In looking back upon their his- 
 tory, they can clearly perceive where they have 
 been mistaken, where they have failed, where they 
 have acted foolishly. And could they again pass 
 through life, this dearly bought wisdom would 
 enable them to amend where they before had gone 
 counter to their true Avelfare. How many, when 
 it is too late, unavailingly regret, that in early 
 years, they had not been more reflective and cau- 
 tious. The young are now, where the aged would 
 desire to be, to do better than they have done. 
 But as this can not be, they willingly impart their 
 wisdom and experience to youth, to enable them to 
 avoid those evils which they experienced. Those 
 who have failed, readily instruct you where they 
 missed their way ; and all wise youth will listen 
 and reflect deeply on their suggestions. Solo- 
 mon says — " A wise man will hear, and will in- 
 crease learning; and a man of understanding 
 shall attain unto v/ise counsels." There is no 
 indication more promising in youth, than a desire 
 
THE NF.CESSITY OF REFLECTION. 15 
 
 to hear counsel in regard to their future conduct. 
 And when such listen to words of instiuctioD, 
 they will treasure them up as food for future 
 meditation. 
 
 Permit me to impress upon the minds of all 
 the youth who read these lines, the importance of 
 seeking for wise counsel, and of bestowing much 
 thought and reflection upon all those subjects 
 connected with their prosperity. Meditate not 
 only on those affairs which are transacting around 
 you, but upon the prospects of the future which 
 open to your view. Reflect upon the sources of 
 human happiness and human wo — ascertain the 
 real causes of peace and satisfaction on the one 
 hand, and of degradation and wretchedness on the 
 other. Examine with thoughtful care, the his- 
 tory of your race, and the history of those of 
 your acquaintance who are advanced in years. — 
 Ascertain and remember what has caused one in- 
 dividual to be respected and loved, while another 
 is shunned and despised. And where you per- 
 ceive that others have failed, do you remedy ; for 
 let it always be remembered, that the same causes 
 which led others to infamy and ruin, will involve 
 you in the same disastrous circumstances, if you 
 place yourselves within their influence. Medi- 
 tate seriously upon the dangers which surround 
 the path of the young. Were you pursuing a 
 solitary road, around which you had reason to 
 apprehend lurked the deadly assassin, how cau- 
 tiously would you proceed — with what vigilance 
 
10 Tin: NECESSITY oV RF.FI.Et TION, 
 
 and v/atchfulness would you examine every object 
 you approached. But remember, there are leg^ions 
 of foes hovering around the pathway of life, ready 
 to assail you at every opportunity—they are the 
 human vices. They will beset you at every turn, 
 and fasten upon you with all their accompanying 
 woes, unless warded off by a firm and determined 
 opposition. But let cautious reflection be your 
 handmaid, and you will be enabled, in a good de- 
 gree, to withstand the temptations which surround 
 you, and to walk in that wise path wherein lies 
 every pure earthly enjoyment. 
 
CHAPTER II 
 
 CLAIMS ON YOUTH, 
 
 Ihe young should be fully aware that there aie 
 claims upon them, of the most important and en- 
 during nature. And it is highly necessary, that 
 they should become acquainted with the charac- 
 ter of these claims, that they may qualify them- 
 selves to discharge them in an efficient manner. 
 
 1. Society has claims 07i the Young: — In every 
 civilized and well regulated community, there are 
 certain important duties, of a public and general 
 character, which must be properly discharged, to 
 insure the safety and welfare of its members. — 
 Those who now execute these trusts will soon 
 become old and pass from the stage of life. They 
 cannot always remain, to instruct by their wis 
 dom, and guide by their counsels ; but as time's 
 unceasing wheels roll on, they recede from our 
 view, and no more mingle with us. " I look 
 forward a few short years, and see the aspect of 
 society entirely changed. The venerable fathers 
 who have borne the heat and burden of the day, 
 2* 17 
 
.8 CLAIMS ON YOUTH. 
 
 are dropping, »>ne after another into the grave, 
 and soon they will be gone. Of those, too, who 
 are no\y the acting members of society, some 
 have passed the meridian of life, others are pass- 
 ing if, and all will soon be going down its decline, 
 to mingle with the generations who have disap- 
 peared before them fropi this transient scene of 
 action. To a mind seriously contemplating this 
 fact, it is an inquiry of deep interest — who are 
 to rise up and fill their places? To whom are to 
 be committed the invaluable interests of society ? 
 who are to sustain its responsibilities and dis- 
 charge its duties ? You anticipate the answer."* 
 It is upon the young that these duties and respon- 
 sibilities will devolve. You will soon be called 
 to occupy all the various stations now held by 
 those more advanced in life. You will become 
 parents, and guardians, and directors in all that 
 pertains to the welfare of society. Soon will it 
 depend upon you to determine, whether religion, 
 morality and virtue shall prevail and shed their 
 benign influences upon community, or whether 
 infidelity, immorality and deep corruption, shall 
 blight all that is valuable in our midst. Soon 
 will it be your prerogative to declare, whether 
 institutions of learning shall be fostered and 
 multiplied, sending their light into the dark 
 abodes of ignorance and raising man to that ele- 
 vation in knowledge for which his faculties so 
 
 ♦Hawes' Lecturee. 
 
CLAIMS OX YOUTH. 19 
 
 eminently fit hinij or ■whether the darkness and 
 ignorance of ancient limes, with all their follies, 
 their superstitions and wretchedness, shall re- 
 turn and shut out the beams of science and art, 
 and plunge this happy land into degradation and 
 ruin. Soon will it be with you to decide, whether 
 wholesome restraints, good order, harmony and 
 peace, shall prevail and continue to impart their 
 blessings, or whether all shall be unbridled profli- 
 gacy and wild anarchy. Soon wili it be in your 
 power to perpetuate and hand down to succeeding 
 generations, those wonderful improvements in the 
 arts and sciences, and in all that pertains to our 
 prosperity, which have so eminently characterized 
 the present age, and which are sending their 
 blessings to earth's far ends, or whether the spirit 
 of improvement shall be arrested in its valuable 
 career, all anticipations of future exaltation and 
 perfection be cut off, and the mind, with its high 
 v^apabilities, made to stagnate in stupid indolence ! 
 In fine, all those interests which render life a 
 blessing, will ere long come into the keeping and 
 control, and be at the disposal of those who are 
 now young. 
 
 Do you not, then, perceive that society has 
 claims, deep, abiding, important claims upon you? 
 And hoAv will you answer them? Surely I can 
 receive but one reply to this inquiry, from all 
 youth of reflection and forethought. You un- 
 doubtedly discover the propriety, yea, the urgent 
 necessity of preparing to discharge these claims 
 
20 CLAIMS UN YOUTH. 
 
 with honor to yourselves and advantage lo your 
 t'el low-be in 5s. It becomes you, therefore, to 
 study diligently the character of our government 
 and the genius of our institutions — to meditate 
 upon the peculiar character of the privileges and 
 blessing which we, as a people, enjoy — to reflect 
 upon the nature of the true interests of society, 
 and of the most efficient modes of forwarding 
 them. A« a spur to these duties, you have but 
 to reflect upon the immense sacrifice of treasure 
 and of life, by which our numerous advantages 
 were obtained. The blood of our fathers cries 
 to us from the stained battle-fields of old, to cher- 
 ish " as the apple of the eye," those exalted privi- 
 leges, which it was shed to obtain. To this voice 
 you will not turn a deaf ear. Permit not selfish- 
 ness to chill your energies in this work of prepa- 
 ration. Let it be remembered that you are bound 
 by a thousand ties, to your fellow-beings — your 
 interests and enjoyments are indissolubly inter- 
 woven with theirs— and, therefore, in discharging 
 public duties, and advancing public prosperity, 
 you are but securing your own welfare and hap- 
 piness. " He who does no good, gets none. He 
 who cares not for others, will soon find that others 
 will not care for him." He who neglects public 
 interests, has no just right to expect that the pub- 
 lic will cherish his : and the tendency of such 
 neglect, is to produce this result. 
 
 2. Tke world has claims iifon the youth of this 
 land. — Here, under the blessings of Heaven, our 
 
CLAIMS ON VOCTH. 21 
 
 fathers were enabled to establish a government 
 upon the broad principles of civil and religious 
 freedom. Here man enjoys all those rights to 
 which, as an intellectual, religious and social be- 
 ing he is entitled by nature and immutable equity. 
 >, Here we are blessed with every privilege and with 
 every means of comfort and happiness that can 
 be expected in this imperfect state of existence. 
 Here we enjoy liberty of speech, liberty of the 
 press, liberty on all matters connected with reli- 
 gion, liberty in every respect, as far as accounta- 
 ble beings can possess it, 
 
 But let it be remembered that here only, are 
 these privileges enjoyed. In every other section 
 of the globe, mankind are deprived, to a greater 
 or less extent, of these blessings of freedom. — 
 Except in this land, justice, equality and liberty, 
 in their true acceptation, are unknown on earthy 
 and man's dearest rights are trampled beneath the 
 iron hoof of tyranny ! Among the greater pro- 
 portion of mankind, all that elevates human na- 
 ture, and causes it to put forth its high powers 
 and capabilities, is wanting. Now if the nations 
 of the earth are ever to become emancipated, it 
 must be accomplished by the spirit which goes 
 forth from this people — by the example which 
 the inhabitants of these United States, set before 
 the world. Let the flame of liberty which has 
 been kindled in this land, continue to burn in its 
 pristine splendor, and in due time, its pure and 
 holy light will penetrate and dispel the darkness 
 
22 CM. AIMS ON YULTM. 
 
 of otlicr hpmi.splicrcs. Il will flash from land to 
 land, from bliore to shore, from the rivers even 
 unto the ends of the earth — until man, every- 
 where, shall enjoy all those rights which his Cre- 
 ator has made him capable of exercising. But it 
 the principles of freedom here established, become 
 neglected — if the love for its blessings be swal- 
 lowed up by selfishness, ignorance or cornjption — 
 the sacred flame will be quenched in darkness, 
 the hopes of millions will expire, and earth again 
 become a universal Aceldama ! 
 
 And upon whom depends the preservation and 
 perpetuity of our free institutions? Upon the 
 young, does this high responsibility rest ! Our 
 fathers obtained the invaluable boon of liberty, 
 by their sufferings and perseverance ; and it de- 
 volves upon the generation now coming upon the 
 stage of action, to determine the question, wheth- 
 er their toils and blood shall prove unavailing, or 
 whether the fruits of their labor shall descend to 
 posterity. Upon the young of the present age, 
 depends to a great degree, the solution of the im- 
 portant problem, whether man is capable of gov- 
 erning himself— capable of enjoying liberty, 
 without licentiousness and anarchy — or whether 
 he can only be restrained by tyranny and oppres- 
 sion. This great experiment is now in progress; 
 and the eyes of the philanthropist and the patriot — 
 the eyes of the enslaved and the oppressed, 
 throughout the w'orld — are turned towards this 
 land, and fixed, mtensely fixed, upon the young 
 
CLAIMS ON YOUTH. '>. 23 
 
 especially I With deep anxiety do they watch 
 for every indication which shall develope the 
 nature of the principles which are cherished, and 
 which will, ere long, be brought into a testing 
 activity, by the youth of this Union. 
 
 The world, thus, has claims — important claims, 
 upon the young of this nation — claims recognized 
 by philanthropy and humanity. The voice of en- 
 slaved millions, comes up on every breeze, be- 
 seeching the young, who are soon to become the 
 pillars of our republic, to cherish and to feed that 
 flame of freedom, whose light they behold at a 
 far distance, until they shall be enabled to bask 
 in its grateful beams. Will you not listen to these 
 cries ? — will you not recognize these claims, and 
 be admonished of the importance of the position 
 which you occupy ? " Never, since the creation, 
 were the youth of any age or country, so imperi- 
 ously called upon to exert themselves, as those of 
 this country. Never, before, were there so many 
 important interests at stake. Never were such 
 immense results depending upon a generation of 
 men, as upon that which is now approaching the 
 stage of action. The rising millions of this land, 
 are destined, according to all human probability, 
 to form by far the greatest nation that ever con- 
 stituted an entire community of freemen, since 
 the world began. To form the character of these 
 millions, involves a greater amount of responsi- 
 bility, individual and collective, than any other 
 work to which humanitv has ever been called. 
 
24 
 
 CLAIMS C.N VCLTII. 
 
 Now, it IS for you, my young friends, to deter- 
 mine wliether these weighty responsibilities shall 
 be fulfilled. It is for you to decide, whether this 
 greatest of free nations, shall at the seme time be 
 the beiit.'^* How important that the young should 
 qualify themselves for the discharge of the high 
 esponsibiiities thus resting upon them ! How 
 necessary that they should study the nature of 
 enlightened liberty, and of the most effectual 
 means of perpetuating our valuable institutions, 
 with all their increasing blessings, down to pos- 
 terity If 
 
 3. Yow Maker has claims upon you. — These 
 claims are paramount to all others. He has given 
 you life, sensation, and all the valuable endow - 
 
 * Young ISIan's Guide. 
 
 tLel not the ladies imagine tlie remarks under this 
 and the preceding heads, inapplicable to themselves. I 
 deem them highly approjjriate to their consideration. — 
 Although it would be improper /or them to become poli- 
 ticiaiis, in the general acceptation of that word — yet that 
 they can exert a powerful and enduring influence, either 
 for good or evil, upon the institutions of our country, is 
 an undoubted truth. They can most sensibly affect the 
 characters of brothers, husbands and especially sons. — 
 They can influence them to public virtue and usefulness, 
 to an interest in the welfare of the nation and the rights 
 of mankind — or stupify them into negligence and inat- 
 tention. In what work more worthy and iinportant, can a 
 mother engage, than instilling into the mind of a son, a 
 lovo for the public good, and for the principles of civil and 
 religious liberty ! I.et females, therefore, be interested in 
 these topics, as subjects with which their happiness is in- 
 timately blended. Every woman shoidd become familiar 
 with the principles of our system of gOA'crnment, and 
 with those peculiar characteristics which render It prefer 
 able to all oilier forms. 
 
CLAIMS ON YOl'TH. '4D 
 
 ments and capabilities which you possess. He 
 has greatly elevated you in the vast scale of 
 being, and given you dominion over all other 
 forms of earthly existence. He has bestowed 
 upon you numerous advantages in political and 
 religious respects — permitting you to exist under 
 the sway of just and equitable laws, which insure 
 you "liberty and the pursuit of happiness,'' and en- 
 able you to worship God as your conscience dic- 
 tates. In the land where your lot has been cast, 
 every thing that can conduce to human improve- 
 ment, elevation and happiness, is profusely scat- 
 tered round. These blessings have come from the 
 goodness of your Creator. Unsolicited and unmer- 
 ited on your part, has he thus lavished the highest 
 of earthly favors upon you ; and you are honestly 
 indebted to him for them. The Deity, therefore, 
 has lasting claims upon you, to discharge this 
 debt, as far as your capabilities and opportunities 
 will allow. In return for his gifts, he claims of 
 you a due cultivation and exercise of your intel- 
 lectual and moral faculties. He bestowed them 
 upon you, not to lie dormant, but for activity and 
 improvement: and that activity and improve- 
 ment he claims. He has claims upon your grat 
 itude, your veneration and love, for his continued 
 kindness and his tender mercies. He has, also, 
 claims upon your obedience. His laws are insti- 
 tuted and exercised over the children of men, not 
 for their injury, but for their benefit — to lead them 
 into paths of peace and happiness ; and he has 
 3 
 
20 CLAIM? ON YOUTH. 
 
 ihereTore every ju^t right to demand the obedi- 
 ence of mankind. — These claims of the Crea- 
 tor, exist properly against you. They grow out 
 t)f the nature of the benefits conferred upon you. 
 And such is the character and undoubted value 
 of the favors granted, that he is justified in urg- 
 ing and enforcing tiiese claims, if we do not ful- 
 fil them voluntarily. And what renders these 
 claims still more worthy your consideration, and 
 portrays the goodness of God in a light surpass- 
 ingly lovely, is, that in complying with them, 
 you are only doing that which Improves your 
 character, enlarges your mind, and ministers 
 greatly to your true enjoyments. 
 
 Let your minds become impressed with the 
 importance of the claims which I have thus brief- 
 ly brought to your notice. Reflect upon iheir 
 character, the grounds upon which they rest, and 
 the influence which their fulfilment will exercise 
 upon your own happiness, and the welfare of your 
 fellow-beings. And let the spirit arise within 
 you, to meet their demands with that energy and 
 fidelity which is the best guaranty of success. 
 
CHAPTER III. 
 
 ^ rORMATION OF CHARACTER. 
 
 That a good character is among the most val- 
 uable earthly blessings, is a position which few 
 will controvert. To a young man, it is the 
 foundation — and the only sure one — upon which 
 he can rationally base any expectation of future 
 respectability and prosperity. Youth should not 
 believe they can arise to eminence in any call- 
 ing or profession — in any situation or condition in 
 life — without possessing a good character. Who- 
 ever cherishes such anticipation, is most certainly 
 doomed to bitter disappointment. As reasonably 
 can they expect to '• gather grapes of thorns, or 
 figs of thistles." 
 
 The young man who is studiously intent on 
 stablishing a good character, may be considered 
 rich, although destitute of property. He is rich 
 in the esteem of community — rich m the confi- 
 dence and trust reposed in him, by all to whom 
 he is known — rich in possessing the good wishes, 
 and in receiving the kind offices of those around 
 
 27 
 
I?3 FORMATION OF C llARACTth. 
 
 him— rich in the assistance cheerfully granted him 
 in the hour of misfortune, the most readily»by 
 those who best know his worth. But wiliiuut a 
 good cliaracter, and Avithout a desire to obtain one, 
 a young man is in reality, poor, though possessing 
 the wealth of the Indies. He is poor in every 
 consideration wherein the other is rich. Poor in 
 the respect, trust and confidence of others — poor 
 in every thing that can render life happy or desi- 
 rable, to an intellectual being. The consttous- 
 ness which he carries about with him, that he is 
 despised by ihe virtuous and respectable, is a 
 sting that embitters his days. 
 
 In meditating plans for his future prosperity, 
 the young man should consider a good character, 
 as the first important acquisition to be secured. 
 If he makes a mistake here — if he views charac- 
 ter as an indifferent consideration — a matter of no 
 consequence, worthy of no thought or exertion — 
 his condition is extremely precarious. He has 
 turned his face toward the downward path of dis- 
 honor and wretchedness — he has already taken 
 one long step therein — and unless he speedily 
 changes his course, and rectifies this primarj 
 error, his career will be one of disappointment 
 and ruin. Reflect, for one moment. Suppose a 
 young man is knoAvn to be a spendthrift — known 
 to be ignorant, indolent, dishonest, intemperate 
 and vicious — what are his prospects ? Who will 
 repose confidence in him, or trust him, or en- 
 courage him, or stand by him in the hour of mis- 
 
FOKMATION OF CHARACTER. 29 
 
 furtune, or aid him in limes of irial ? On the 
 other hand, let it be known that a youth is well 
 informed, industrious, economical, strictly tem- 
 perate and moral, and the whole community are 
 his friends — all are ready to employ him, and 
 ^ assist him to rise to circumstances of corape- 
 ! tency. — Between these two conditions, every 
 Avise young man will rightly choose the latter 
 in preference to the former ; and must, therefore, 
 perceive the immense importance of a good char- 
 acter, and the great necessity of striving to ob- 
 tain it. 
 
 Fair reader, need I speak of the vast importance 
 of a good character to the young lady ? Need I 
 say, it is her all — that with it, she is every thing, 
 and without it, nothing — yea, worse than notk- 
 ing ! These propositions are so plain, that, it 
 would seem, all young ladies must be aware of 
 their propriety ! If not, one moment's reflection 
 must satisfy them of their truth. Let it be known 
 that a young lady is idle and uninformed — that 
 she is fond of gossiping and "spinning street 
 yarn," rather than of laudably engaging in some 
 industrious occupation — that she is better ac- 
 quainted with tne heroes and heroines of silly 
 novels, than the rules of housewifery and domes- 
 tic economy — that her virtue, honesty and vera- 
 city are suspected — and who does not perceive 
 that, with such a name, her prospects of forming 
 an eligible connexion, and of prospering in life, 
 .ue entirely destroyed ? But one whose charac- 
 3* 
 
30 FORMATION Or" tHARACTEH. 
 
 ler is the reverse of (his— who is intelligent, pru- 
 dent, industrious and virtuous, has every advan- 
 tage of which the other is deprived. 
 
 TJie necessity, theirTore, of a good character, 
 both to young ladies and gentlemen, must be per- 
 fectly obvious. And how is such a character to 
 be obtained ? Can you inherit it, as you do your 
 name? Can you purchase it with gold, or obtain 
 possession of il by theft ? No — no. A good char- 
 9i./,rmust hQ formed — it must be made — it must 
 Jt hiiilt up, by your own individual exertions ! If 
 you are negligent or indifferent in regard to this 
 subject — if you leave the character to form itself, 
 as chance may direcr — "if, instead of exerting 
 reflectiCii for this valuable purpose, you deliver 
 yourselves up at so critical a time, to sloth and 
 pleasure — if you refuse to listen to any counsellor 
 but humor, or attend to any pursuit except that 
 of amusement — if you allow yourselves to float 
 loose and careless on the tide of life, ready to re 
 ceive any direction which the current of fasir.oi- 
 or of licentiousness, may chance to give you — 
 wjiat can you expect to follow from such begin- 
 nings ! While so many around you are under- 
 going the sad consequences of a like mdiscretion, 
 for what reason shall not those consequences ex- 
 tend to you? Can you attain success without 
 that preparation, and escape dangers without that 
 precaution, which are required of others ? Will 
 nrosperity and happiness grow up to you of its 
 own accord, and solicit your acceptance when to 
 
FuRMATION OF CHARACTER. f i. 
 
 • tie rest of mankind, it is the fruit of long culti- 
 vation^ and the acquisition of labor and care'f 
 i-eceive not yourselves with such hopes."* I re- • 
 peat, the character must be made — it must be a 
 work— Rud a work, too, of meditation and fore- 
 thought. 
 
 The characteristics by Vv'hich you desire to be 
 distinguished through life, should be selected by 
 your own well exercised judgment, and establish- 
 ed by your industry and perseverance. Ask your- 
 selves -^vhat character you would like to possess 
 before the world ? — whether you would be re- 
 spected or despised, by the good and virtuous? — 
 and act in accordance to your decision. And I 
 repeat, all the excellence of character vou ootain, 
 must ba the fiuit of your own labor — me resul 
 of your "own exertions. Friends may cheer an 
 encourage you, but they can not do this work o 
 you. They can not be industrious, or virtuous, 
 or well informed, or honest, in your place. These 
 characteristics, if you possess them at all, you 
 must obtain by the diligent exercise of your own 
 faculties and advantages. 
 
 To arrive at excellence of character, it is well 
 to adopt models for imitation. Think of some 
 individuals, the excellencies of whose characters 
 you would be pleased to possess. And let n-^* 
 these standards be low ones. They should be 
 high — they had far better be too high, than too 
 
 ♦ Blair. 
 
32 voRMATiON or cha.ra.cti:k. 
 
 low. It is an lild pruverli. that although he who 
 aims at the sun, will not reach it, yet his arrow 
 will fly mueli higher, tlian if aimed at an object 
 on a level with himself. So in the formation of 
 character. Let your models be exalted ones; and 
 although you may possibly fail of reaching their 
 elevation, yef, undoubtedly you will ascend much 
 higher, than had you selected some inferior pat- 
 terns. Let your models be frequently before your 
 mind — imitate the conduct and disposition which 
 characterized those you would copy after — mark 
 the course which they took to obtain their good 
 names, and do thou likewise. 
 
 I can not better close this subject, than in the 
 words of the lamented Wirt. " Take it for grant- 
 ed that there is no excellence without great labor. 
 No mere aspirations for eminence, however ardent, 
 will do the business. Wishing and sighing, and 
 imagining and dreaming of greatness, will never 
 make you great or respectable. If you would get 
 to the mountain's top on which the temple of fame 
 stands, it will not do to stand still, looking, and 
 admiring, and wishing you were there. You 
 must gird up your loins, and go to work with all 
 the indomitable energy of Hannibal scaling the 
 Alps. We can not all be Franklins, it is true; 
 but by imitating his mental habits and unwearied 
 industry, we may reach an eminence we should 
 never otherwise obtain. Nor would he have been 
 the Franklin he was, if he had permitted himself 
 1.0 be discouraged by the reflection that we can 
 
FORMATION OF CHARACTER. 33 
 
 not all be Newtons ! It is our business to make 
 the most of our own talents and opportunities ; 
 and instead of discouraging ourselves by compar- 
 isons and impossibilities, to believe all things im- 
 aginable, possible ; as, indeed, almost all things 
 are, to a spirit bravely and firmly resolved " 
 
CHAPTER IV. 
 
 THE GOOD OPINION OF OTHERS. 
 
 There is no emotion more natural, and none 
 more proper, than tlie desire to be thought well of, 
 ly others around us. This wish, cherished by 
 the young, with proper restrictions, and brought 
 consistently to bear on the conduct, will become 
 as a kind of guard to screen them from many im- 
 proprieties and their accompanying evils. Those 
 young people, who are inspired with the laudable 
 desire so to demean themselves as to obtain the 
 approbation and respect of community, may be 
 considered as walking in a safer path, than those 
 who have no such inclination. It will cause them 
 to become circumspect and watchful in all their 
 conduct — to be careful what they do, and wha 
 they say, and what disposition they exhibit in 
 their intercourse with the world; and will induce 
 them to listen seriously to any faults that may be 
 suggested as attached to their conduct. Wise 
 youth arc willing to have their failings pointed 
 ouf. And when a fault is asserted to pertain to 
 
 34 
 
THE GOOD OPINION OF OTHERS. 35 
 
 them, whether it is detected by a friend or an ene- 
 my, they will search, and candidly ask them- 
 selves whether it does in reality exist; and if 
 they perceive that it does, they will take energet- 
 ic measures to free themselves from its contami- 
 nations. I have often expressed the opinion, that 
 if enemies are of no other benefit, they are some- 
 times of great service in detecting and exposing 
 our aberrations from duty. Their watchful eyes 
 are upon us — they are ever upon the alert to bla- 
 zon our short-comings to the world. And a sense 
 of their scrutiny will influence us to assume a 
 cautiousness in our proceedings, which can buf 
 be highly salutary. 
 
 A proper desire to be commended by our fel 
 low-beings, should be cherished by every youth 
 A want of it produces consequences extremely 
 deleterious. When young ladies or young gen- 
 tlemen, arrive at such a state, as to exclaim, in re- 
 ference to their moral conduct, " I care not what 
 others think — Icare not for the opinions of those 
 around me" — it indicates a dangerous state. It 
 shows their feelings to be so hardened, that they 
 are ripe for the works of sin and degradation — il 
 predicts a condition of moral callousness, which; 
 unless removed speedily, will lead to pollution and 
 its unavoidabfe wretchedness. ^'I donH care^^ 
 is a bad expression for the young of either sex 
 It is not only immodest and reprehensible in itself 
 but, if indulged in, and followed in its influences^ 
 it will ere long, involve you in those disastrous 
 
36 THE GOOD OPINION OP OTHERS. 
 
 circumstances, where you will care— and that to(^ 
 when it perhaps is too late to avoid the painful 
 consequences of your blindness. 
 
 In so conducting as to gain the good opinion ol 
 others, you should exercise proper discrimination 
 as to whose commendation you would merit. You 
 should not endeavor to obtain in your conduct, the 
 applause of the drunkard ; because to do so, you 
 must uphold and imitate his intemperance — or ot 
 the gambler, the thief, the spendthrift, or the 
 idler — for they will not approbate you, unless 
 you follow them in their transgressions. Neither 
 should it be your effort to secure the approbation 
 of the proud, the vain, or the scornful. But the 
 good opinion, in all moral respects, of the wise, 
 virtuous and benevolent, it should be your ambi- 
 tion to secure. This, however, should not be the 
 moving cause of living a virtuous life. The main 
 influence to such a life, should be of a higher 
 character, even the value of virtueUsel/,and the 
 beneficial effects which its faithful practice will 
 confer upon you. But in shaping your conduct, 
 let it be characterized by those principles, that 
 will be approved by thv discreet, the upright and 
 experienced of society. 
 
 i Let not this subject be misunderstood. It is 
 one thing, so to conduct as to acquire the respect 
 of the public — but another and quite different 
 thing, to shape your \)\oceediQgs for the sole pur- 
 pose of obtaining public favor or popularity. — 
 While the former is to be approbated, the latter 
 
THE GOOD OPlA-ION OF OTHERS. 37 
 
 should be decidedly avoided. I know of no indi- 
 viduals whose conduct and example are more to 
 be despised and avoided, than confirmed seekers 
 after popularity — those people who form their 
 • opinions and give support to religious or political 
 sentiments and measures, with no other objects ii« 
 view, but to gain the applause of the multitude, 
 and the smiles of the wealthy and fashionable. 
 Individuals of this character, can not properly be 
 said to possessj9/'mc?pZe5,orto be guided by them. 
 Their only rule and motive of action is jjOlicy — 
 their only study, the highest eifort of their mental 
 powers is. so to shape their course, as to float, like 
 the empty bubble or the worthless weed, on the 
 surface of the flowing tide of popularity. Nei- 
 ther is there any dependence to be placed upon 
 them. Having no love of truth and principle to 
 insure their stability, to-day they are with this 
 party or sect, to-morrow with that — now they are 
 warm advocates of these sentiments or measures, 
 and, anon, as zealously the friends of those di- 
 rectly the reverse— as they are swayed about by 
 the contradictory winds of fluctuating interest, or 
 public favor ! People of this description are to be 
 pitied for their weakness and folly, and their vas- 
 cillating example is to be avoided by all who 
 would be truly respected — by all who would vin- 
 dicate the position, that there is such a thing as 
 principle among men, and that the human mind 
 can be governed by it.* 
 
 • The class to wiiich I refer, is mainly composed oi 
 4 
 
38 THE GOOD OPINION or 01HER3. 
 
 Their example, I repeat, should be shunned, as 
 derof^atory to human nature, and detrimental to 
 the best interests of society. In formincr your 
 opinions^ on any subject, let reason and conscience 
 be your guides. In this respect you should not 
 be swayed by the good or bad opinions, which 
 others will thus be led to entertain of you ; but 
 solely by your reason. If a proposition or a sen- 
 timent, on a careful and candid examination, a]>- 
 pears consistent and reasonable, adopt and sup- 
 port itj whether it is believed by many or few. If, 
 on the contrary, it appears unreasonable, reject it, 
 even though adopted by the whole world beside. 
 This is the only safe rule which you, as reasona- 
 ble beings, can adopt — it is the only manly, hon- 
 orable and consistent course you can follow. But 
 in allowing interest, numbers, or popularity, to 
 have an influence in forming or biassing your 
 opinions, you throw down all the safeguard with 
 which your Maker has graciously provided you, 
 and are liable to become the dupe of every error 
 that wears a gilded dress. 
 
 Permit me to repeat, that your moral conduct 
 should be of such character as to gain for you the 
 good opinion of the virtuous and upright. But 
 
 those whose minds are so weak, thai they are not capa- 
 ble of forming a definite opinion upon any subject of im- 
 portance — those who are so bound up in self, as to bo 
 mdifFerent what principles prevail, so that their ends- are 
 accomplished— and those who are better pleased to have 
 error and vice spread through community, than truth and 
 virtue, provided their mtereste are as equally enhanced by 
 •pie former as the latter. 
 
THE GOOD OPINION OF OTHERS. 39^ 
 
 in forming opinions, and in supporting measures, 
 assert the high prerogative of your nature, and 
 judge for yourselves, without respect to others. 
 Be certain that you act from honest and consci- 
 entious motives — that your only object is to ob- 
 tain truth — and trust the result to a righteous 
 Providence. Whether those around you approve 
 or reject, you will possess that which they caa 
 neither give or take away — 
 
 "The soul's calm sunshine, and the heartfeit joy." 
 
CHAPTER V. 
 
 ON READING. 
 
 That is a most extraordinary art, reader, by 
 which I am now communicating my thoughts to 
 you, although perhaps a thousand miles intervene 
 between us, with as much ease and accuracy, as 
 though you were in my immediate presence. — 
 This operation, to one who is a stranger to the 
 method of its performance, would appear the work 
 of supernatural agents. A late writer, in descri- 
 bing the inhabitants of one of the remote islands 
 of the Pacific Ocean, states that they had no con- 
 ception of the arts of writing or reading. When 
 informed that one person can communicate his 
 thoughts to another, without voice, or gesture, or 
 without being in his presence, they utterly dis- 
 credited the assertion. But after repeated experi- 
 tr.ents, becoming fully satisfied of its truth, yet 
 viewing it as a work transcending all human 
 power, ihoy alleged that it must have been accom- 
 plished by necromancy. 
 
 Thf art of communicating ideas by inscribing 
 
 40 
 
ON READING. 41 
 
 visible characters, is of very ancient dale. In its 
 first stage, ir. consisted merely in-drawing a rough 
 sketch or outline of the object, in regard to which 
 the communication was made. From this state 
 the art was advanced to the use of more systemi- 
 zed hieroglyphics ; and fmm these, gradually im- 
 proved to our present system of writing. Previous 
 to the invention of the art of printing, books were 
 multiplied only by the pen — a work so laborious 
 and slow, as to cause them to be few in number, 
 and of immense value. So scarce were books, 
 that ambassadors were once expressly sent from 
 France to Rome, to obtain a capy of Cicero's Ora- 
 tions, and Uuintilian^s Institutes. The library of 
 the Bishop of Winchester, in 1494, contained but 
 pans of seventeen books ; and on his borrowing a 
 copy of the Scriptures from the neighboring con- 
 vent of St. Swilhin, he had to give a heavy bond, 
 drawn up with great solemnity, that he would 
 return it uninjured. If any one gave a book to a 
 convent or monastery, it was supposed to confer 
 everlasting salvation upon him. Previous to the 
 year 1300, the library of Oxford University con- 
 sisted only of a few tracts, which were carefully 
 locked in a small chest, or else chained, lest they 
 should be carried away. 
 
 There are two prominent objects in reading, 
 viz : — amusement, and the acquisition of valuable 
 knowledge. These, if possible, should be com« 
 bined into one. No volume should be perused 
 for amusement, which does not instruct as well as 
 4* 
 
42 ON HEADING. 
 
 delight. And all publications of an instructive 
 character, will amuse and please the mind, when 
 read with a proper thirst for its lessons of wis- 
 dom,. It should be the desire of every youth, of 
 both sexes, to acquire a habit or taste for reading. 
 This habit will soon become one of the highest 
 sources of enjoyment. But it must be acquired 
 young. If it is not established before the age of 
 iwenty-five or thirty, the probability is, that it will 
 not be at all ; and the individual in this condition, 
 will be cut off from one of the most valuable sour- 
 ces of knowledge and improvement. You should 
 read, not only for the pleasure which it affords 
 you, but to obtain practical information, and to 
 enlarge and enlighten your views on those sub- 
 jects intimately connected with your welfare, and 
 the interests of your race. You should read to 
 " multiply your ideas, correct your errors, erase 
 your prejudices, purify your principles, and that 
 you may settle down on the everlasting founda- 
 tion of truth, in all things." 
 
 A well established habit of reading, bestows 
 benefits innumerable. The young lady or gen- 
 tleman possessing this habit gives fair promise of 
 future respectability and usefulness. There is 
 little reason to apprehend that they will become 
 profligate or vicious. Examine the victims of 
 crime — the inmates of prisons — and, as a general 
 rule, it will be discovered, that in youth they were 
 averse to reading. In perusing useful publica- 
 tions, the youthful mind is elevated above the in- 
 
ox HEADING. 45 
 
 ftuence of vicious passions, and is absolved from 
 their contaminations. 
 
 Through the medium of books, you can live, 
 as it were, in all past ages. You can enter the 
 presence of the wise and the great of antiquity — 
 vou can listen to their lessons of instruction — 
 treasure up the fruits of their research and expe- 
 rience, and thus make them your immediate in- 
 structors. In books you have at your disposal the 
 history of your race. You can range over its 
 ample extent — beholding here, the corroding in- 
 fluence of wealth without just principles — there, 
 tiie fruits of blind rashness — and every where, the 
 unavoidable evils flowing from ignorance and sin, 
 and the superior advantages of knowledge and 
 virtue. As the bee extracts honey from objects 
 nauseous and poisonous ; so can the industrious 
 reader obtain lessons of useful wisdom, from the 
 errors and imperfections of those who figure on 
 the historic page. . ~ 
 
 The reader, while sitting by his own fireside, 
 becomes a traveller in foreign lands. He partici- 
 pates in much of the enjoyment of the tourist, 
 without experiencing any of his difficulties and 
 dangers. He thus obtains an acquaintance with 
 the condition, manners and customs of distant 
 nations ; and his mind becomes enlarged by con- 
 templating the wide diversities of laws, of mor- 
 als, of religions and literature. He is also ena- 
 bled to compare the numerous privileges and ad- 
 vantages, which he enjoys in this happy land, 
 
44 ON RLADIIVG. 
 
 with those posicssed by other naiiaijs - and be led 
 the more sensibly to appreciate tlie immense val- 
 ue of our system of government, and the impor- 
 tance of striving to purify and perpetuate it, 
 ; Reading fills up many leisue hours, which 
 would probably be otherwise less profitably occu- 
 pied. When the labor or business of the day is 
 closed, the mind relaxes and seeks for amusement. 
 These are dangerous hours to the young. Then 
 temptations put on their most fascinating garbs j 
 and unless guarded against by some counter 
 power — some repelling force — will lead to every 
 species of evil. These critical seasons test the 
 character, and reveal the prospects of the young. 
 Those youth who have established the habit of 
 reading, in these limes of leisure, turn as natu- 
 rally and readily to their books for amusement, as 
 do the profligate, to scenes of infamy and vice. 
 And thus reading not only saves from forming sin- 
 ful habits, but becomes the means of laying up 
 stores of useful information, to be turned to prof- 
 itable account in after years. The young, in this 
 way, candeposite treasures in a '= Savings Bank," 
 that will yield a compound interest to their owner. 
 In what manner can youth of either sex, pass an 
 evening more usefully, than in perusing some en- 
 tertaining and valuable publication, for their own 
 edification and that of the family circle ? The 
 habit of reading can become so deeply settled, as 
 to form the controlling desire of the mind. So 
 firmly was this habit established in Brutus, thai 
 
ON HEADING. 45 
 
 on the eve of the bailie of Pharsalia, which it was 
 foreseen would decide the fate of the Roman do- 
 rainionSj he was found calmly reading in his tent, 
 and with his pen taking notes from his author. 
 And Petrarch, the great poet, if he did not read 
 and write during the day, was very unhappy. 
 
 The manner of reading is an important con 
 sideration. It is generally supposed that those 
 who read the greatest number of books, must 
 possess the most knowledge. But this does not 
 necessarily follow. An individual may peruse 
 v/hole libraries, and be but little wiser for his la- 
 bor. It is no difficult task to run hastily through 
 ^ a publication, neither is it a profitable one. The 
 amount of knowledge obtained from books, does 
 not so much depend on the number perused, as 
 the manner in which they are read. To accom- 
 plish the object of reading, it is evidently neces- 
 sary that you should obtain the scope of the ideas 
 of the author you are perusing. You should be- 
 come familiar with the manner and peculiarities 
 of his expression. It is also obvious, that to ob- 
 tain benefit from reading, it should be performed 
 slowly and with deliberation. Never permit your- ) 
 selves to read without rejlection. No knowledge . 
 can be obtained in this manner. It is like endeav- ' 
 oring to gather water with a seive, or in the 
 quaint language of a certain author, " it is like 
 laboriously stooping to pick up chips, only to let 
 them fall again." It is much better to read but a 
 few pages at a time, and understand them, than 
 
46 ox Rb'ADlNO. 
 
 hastily to glide through a book without treasur- 
 ing up any useful knowledge. Thinking s1k)u1J 
 always accompany reading. The latter without 
 the former, amounts to nothing. And yet there 
 is no habit more liable to grow upon the young 
 reader, than while the eye is skimming over the 
 page, to allow the mind to be wandering away 
 absorbed in some thought wholly disconnected 
 with the subject before him. This habit is an 
 unfortunate one. It weakens the intellect, dis- 
 tracts the mind, and fills it with confusion and 
 anarchy — and it should, therefore, be strongly 
 guarded against. The attention and thoughts, 
 should be brought under the strict command of 
 the will. If they fly off in pursuit of some wild 
 vagary, they should be instantly called back, and 
 all their powers concentrated on the page which 
 you are perusing. Then you hold conimunion 
 with the author, and are benefited. But w^ithout 
 this attention, the book may as well be closed. 
 
 If. in reading a sentence or paragraph, -you fail 
 to obtain the meaning of the author, repeat it, 
 and if necessary, again and again — leave it not 
 until you fully comprehend the idea he would 
 convey. In this manner you will often find a 
 treasure, where at first glance you could discover 
 nothing of importance. If your author furnishes 
 a new thought, cease reading for a moment, and 
 ponder upon it — turn it frequently in your mind — 
 observe its bearing and tendencies, and its appli- 
 cability to subjects in which you are interested. 
 
0.\ RllADIXC. i^ 
 
 Thus yoti uiil often enter upon a train which 
 will lead to new fields of pleasing and useful re- 
 flection. As you can not expect lo retain in your 
 memory the entire contents of a book, impress 
 upon your minds the most prominent and valua- 
 ble portion of its instructions. And to this end, 
 after having finished its perusal, reflect upon its 
 whole contents, and ascertain what new and pe- 
 culiar views you have obtained. It is a useful 
 practice of many readers, to note in a blank book 
 or memorandum, such sentences or ideas as are 
 deemed of sufficient importance ; and they are 
 thus saved for future application. This method 
 I would recommend to such as have time or op- 
 portunity to pursue it. 
 
 A valuable blank book, called the " Index Re- 
 rum," intended for the purpose of forming an in- 
 dex to the subjects of which you read, and in 
 which you may note the volume and page of a 
 work in which any particular subject is treated, 
 for future reference, will be found particularly 
 valuable, to the student, the professional man, or, 
 indeed to any who may have occasion often to 
 refer to what they have perused. Its author, or 
 rather its inventor, is the Rev. John Todd, now 
 of Philadelphia, the author of " The Student's 
 Manual," another excellent work for the same 
 classes — excepting a very few remarks rather 
 sectarian in their character. 
 
 Another consideration of the utmost weight, 
 relates to the selection of books. The impor- 
 
48 ON READING. 
 
 tance of iliis subject, can doI be loo strongly im- 
 pressed upon the minds of the young. Tlie sen- 
 timents conveyed in publications read by youth, 
 ranst exercise a sensible inlluence over them, for 
 good or evil. Books of an immoral and licen- 
 tious tendency, should be avoided as the poison- 
 ous Upas. No youth can read them without in 
 Aiding a leprous stain upon their minds, which 
 will tend decidedly to evil. Consider those com- 
 panions your enemies, who recommend such 
 works to your notice. Turn a deaf ear to their 
 advice, and strictly avoid their example. 
 
 In noticing the character of works proper for 
 your perusal, 1 can not refrain from directing your 
 attention, first of all, to that "Book of books," 
 the Bible. Sir William Jones, one of the most 
 learned men of his day, wrote on the blank leaf 
 of his Bible, the folloAving sentence — " I have 
 carefully and regularly perused these holy Scrip- 
 tures, and am of opinion that the volume, inde- 
 pendent of its divine origin, contains more sub- 
 limity, purer morality, more important history, 
 and finer strains of eloquence, than can be col- 
 lected from all other books, in whatever language 
 they may have been written," Let this invalua- 
 ble volume be often and faithfully perused — let 
 its contents, especially its moral and doctrinal 
 teachings, be deeply impressed upon your minds, 
 as the only perfect guide that can lead to a faith- 
 ful discharge of duty towards your Father in 
 heaven^ and your fellow-beings. Well written 
 
ON READING. 49 
 
 books and other publicationsj relating to the doc- 
 trinal and moral truths of the Scriptures, should 
 also engage a due proportion of your attention, as 
 calculated to purify your hearts and enlighten 
 your minds. Paley's Natural Theology, and his 
 Horse Paulinse, and works of a similar character, 
 tending to strengthen the convictions of the truth 
 of Christianity, should be read by every youth. 
 
 Here, perhaps, I ought to remark, that all stand- 
 ard works, pertaining to or connected with your 
 destined pursuits in life, should engage the next 
 place in your studies. As these will vary accord- 
 ing to those pursuits, and as you can never be at 
 a loss for more able and experienced advisers 
 than I can be, I dismiss this consideration with 
 the remark, that you should, by no means, con- 
 fine yourselves to these works alone; but give 
 them your chief and and best hours, seeking re- 
 laxation from their perusal in such other works 
 as I now shall name. 
 
 History is a very important branch of general 
 study. Mavor's Universal History, is a large and 
 expensive work — but an excellent compendium. 
 Bigland's Letters on History, is as brief as the 
 other is voluminous. The amount of leisure, 
 and pecuniary means you possess, (if remote 
 from a public library,) must determine for you 
 which of these, or of the following works you 
 will peruse. They, all, are well worth your at- 
 tention, and are recommended to your notice. 
 History of the Jews, by Flavius Josephus, Rol- 
 5 
 
50 ON HLADi.NG. 
 
 lia'i Ancient History, Gillie's Greece, Frost'a 
 History of Greece, Ferguson's Roman Repub- 
 lic, The Annals of Tacitus, Gibbon's Decline 
 and Fall of the Roman Empire, bearing in mind 
 that he is a cold sneerer at Christianity, even 
 Avhile pretending to advocate it in the form held 
 by the church of England ; Moore's History of 
 Ireland ; Hume's England, continued by Smol- 
 let; Robertson's Histories, particularly of Charles 
 the Fifth, and of the Discovery and Settlement 
 of America, Irving's Conquest of Grenada, Mack- 
 intosh's England, Russell's Modern Europe, 
 Baines' History of the Wars of the French Rev- 
 olution, American edition on account of the notes, 
 Ramsay's History of the American Revolution, 
 and Mosheim's Ecclesiastial History. In bio- 
 graphical works you will also find much histori- 
 cal information, blended with a display of human 
 character. I would therefore recommend you to 
 read, in connexion with the foregoing, the lives 
 of any great men who figure prominently in them 
 — particularly Voltaire's Life of Charles XII., of 
 Sweden, a fine specimen of a good style ; Mar- 
 shall's Life of Washington, Spark's Lives of 
 Franklin, Ledyard, and the Washington papers, 
 and also his Biography j Irving's Columbus, and 
 his Voyages and Discoveries of the Companions 
 of Columbus, Southey's Nelson, Scott's Life of 
 Napoleon, bearing in mind the deep prejudice 
 which that remarkable writer evidently bore 
 against " the Man of Destiny," whose career he 
 
ox READING. 51 
 
 SO grapliically traces ; Win's Lite of Patrick 
 Henr/, r.nd Lives of the Signers of the Decla- 
 ration of Independence. — Others might be na- 
 med, but the advice of the wise and virtuous, 
 and the references made in these works, Avill 
 unite in guiding you to all else that can be ne- 
 cessary to your instruction in this important 
 branch of reading. 
 
 Such works as Buffon's Natural History, Gold- 
 smith's Animated Nature, Good's Book of Wa- 
 lare, Arnctt's Physics, Wood's Mosaic Creation, 
 Treatises on Botany and Chemistry, and publi- 
 cations on Experimental Philosophy, can be read 
 with much profit and amusement. The Art of 
 Being Happy, from the French of Droz, with 
 notes by Timothy Flint, is a work full of valua- 
 ble instruction to the young. Combe on the 
 Constitution of Man is one of the most valuable 
 publications that has issued from the press in 
 many years. I would earnestly recommend its 
 perusal to all whose eye meets these lines — it 
 will richly repay them. 
 
 Of poetry, there are comparatively but few en- 
 tire works that can be safely recommended to the 
 young. Pope has many beauties, intermingled 
 with much that is decidedly of an immoral ten- 
 dency ; and the same may be said of Burns, By- 
 ron and Moore. But there can be no hesitancy 
 in recommending Milton. Cowper, Young — ma- 
 king due allowance for their religious peculiari- 
 ties — Scotf, WordiworUi. Souther, Coleridge, 
 
53 ON READING. 
 
 Campbe!], Beatiie, Thomson, Bryant, Mrs. He- 
 mans, and Mrs. Sigourney. 
 
 In relation to the propriety or impropriety of 
 perusing novels and other works of fiction, much 
 has been said on either side. There can be no 
 doubt that our book-stores and libraries are flood- 
 ed with works of this character, that are extreme- 
 ly insipid, and of a tendency highly deleterious. — 
 That works of fiction of a proper character, can 
 be safely and beneficially read by the young, I 
 have no hesitancy in declaring. But you must 
 be cautious in your selections. None should be 
 read but those of a purely moral tendency, and 
 such as are illustrative of historical truths. Of 
 the former, I would mention particularly those of 
 Mrs, Opie, Miss Edgeworth, and Miss Martineau. 
 Of the latter may be enumerated the Misses Por- 
 ter's, the most of Scott's, a few of Bulwer's — 
 especially his Rienzi — several by Cooper, Miss 
 Sedgwick, and Mr. Simms. Many of Irving's 
 later works are of an entertaining character, and 
 may be profitably read — particularly his late pro- 
 ductions, A Tour on the Prairies, Astoria, and 
 West of the Rocky Mountains. 
 
 In reading works of fiction, keep your mind con- 
 stantly fixed on the delineations of character — 
 mark the shades of difference between them, the 
 different operations of external circumstances on 
 them, and the different motives that actuate 
 them — and apply all to the purposes of self-ex- 
 amination and self-improvement. When the work 
 
ON READING. 53 
 
 Is historical, read it in connexion with that portion 
 of history to A^ich it refers^ and with that portion, 
 of geography which describes its location, and 
 carefully note what is fictitious, and v/hat is real. 
 If I mistake not. Chambers' Memoir of the 
 Prince, Chevalier Charles Stuart, will make you 
 doubly interested, even in Scott's interesting 
 Scottish novels relating to that individual — and 
 so of others. 
 
 Fear of protracting this chapter beyond the 
 bounds of your patience, prevented me from 
 naming many other works worthy of your peru- 
 sal, with comments en their merits, and directions 
 for more fully availing yourselves of their interest 
 and benefits. But what is here offered will suf- 
 fice, probably, to guide you, until experience suf- 
 ficient will be attained to render further direction 
 irom rae of doubtful necessity* 
 
CHAPTER V). 
 
 PRACTICAL OBSERVATION. 
 
 Practical observation, or the haljit of observing 
 men and things, is of great value. There is 
 scarcely an event that transpires around you, 
 from which you may not, by critical observation, 
 derive lessons of wisdom — there is not an object 
 upon which your eyes can rest, when properly 
 studied, that will not increase your information. 
 But all those sources of knowledge are sealed 
 up, without you take proper measures to open 
 them. Unless you observe and reflect, wisdom 
 may instruct, and knowledge lift up her voice, 
 "but hearing you hear not, and seeing you do 
 not perceive." Without the habit of practical 
 observation, you may listen to the most profound 
 instructions of wisdom, without being wiser, and 
 examine all the curiosities of nature and art, 
 without gaining any useful information. " Keep 
 ycur eyes open," is an old and profitable maxim — 
 not the eyes of your body only, but the eyes ol 
 your intellect also. And let your ears not only 
 
 54 
 
PRACTICAL OBSERVATION. 55 
 
 hear, but liear understandingly — with a discrim- 
 ination that will enable you to appreciate and 
 treasure up all that is instructive, and cast away 
 whatever is demoralizing or useless. 
 
 In this respect, there is a vast difference among 
 mankind. While one individual mingles with 
 the world, and by thoughtful observation, increas- 
 es his useful knowledge every hour — another 
 mixes in the same scenes, listens to the same 
 language, sees the same transactions and the 
 same objects, without treasuring up one valuable 
 thought. The former sees and hears to obtain 
 information : the latter only to gratify an idle cu- 
 riosity. While one person, in straying over the 
 fields beholds in. every tree, in every flower and 
 blade of grass, indications of the wisdom and 
 goodness of God and thus is led to reflect upon 
 the characteristics of Deity j another views the 
 same objects, and only thinks that the tree affords 
 a shade from the sun, and that of the flowers a 
 fragrant nosegay may be formed. While one 
 gazes upon the sky, and observes that it is deck- 
 ed with " pretty spangles" — another contemplates 
 the heavens with mmgling emotions of awe, 
 astonishment and delight. He there discovers 
 the hand of Jehovah — he there reads lessons of 
 the majesty, power, and wisdom of the great " I 
 AM." Filled with wonder, he inquires — 
 
 "*'***** What hand behind the scene, 
 What arm almighty, put these wheeling globes 
 lu motion, and v,Tund uptlie -asf machine "( 
 
 I 
 
fe PRACTICAL OEdERVATION. 
 
 Who rounded in his palm, those spacious orbs 7 
 Who howled iheni flaming thro' tlic dark ])rofound, 
 Numerous as j^hlt'ring gems of nioming dew, 
 Cr sparks froui populous cities in a blaze, 
 And set the bosom of old Night on fire." 
 
 The habit of practical observation, while en- 
 gaged in your ordinary occupations, becomes not 
 only a stream of knowledge, but also a safe-guard 
 to screen you from evil conduct. Do you ob- 
 serve in an individual, a mean, unmanly action ? 
 Reflect upon it. Observe how it degrades him — 
 how contemptible it causes him to appear in the 
 eyes of the generous, the just, the benevolent, 
 and how unsatisfying must be his own reflections. 
 Do you behold one at tne bar of justice, called 
 upon to answer to the laws of his country, for his 
 crimes ? Meditate upon the unhappy effects of 
 sin — the degradation and wretchedness it entails 
 upon its victims — and become satisfied of the 
 solemn truth of the Scripture declaration, that 
 "though hand join in hand, the wicked shall not 
 go unpunished." — Do you perceive neighbors, 
 from some simple misunderstanding, that could 
 at first have been amicably explained, engage in 
 an unhappy contention, in v/hich all the tinholy 
 passions are brought into action, to the mutual 
 injury of the parties, and which involves the com- 
 munity in turmoil and themselves in wretched- 
 ness? Observation will satisfy you of the blind* 
 ness and folly of such conduct — of the necessity 
 of exercising a forgiving spirit, and of submitting 
 to injuries rather than to enaraee in bo«tiHfi«»= 
 
PRACTICAL OBSERVATION. 57 
 
 that can at best but entail disquietude upon you. 
 Thus by a constant habit of observation and 
 reflection, you can turn even the failings, the 
 blindness, the misfortunes of others, to your own 
 account — you can be benefited not only by the 
 knowledge of the wise, but also by the folly of 
 the simple. When you perceive people in cir- 
 cumstances of diflQculty, you can trace their ill 
 fortune back to its origin, and by perceiving the 
 cause of their failure, you are prepared to avoid 
 pursuing a similar course. Even the most trivial 
 actions, when properly considered, will sometimes 
 aiFord valuable lessons of instruction. "Old 
 fashioned economists will tell you never to pass 
 an old nail, or an old horse-shoe, or buckle, or 
 even a pin, wfthout taking it up, because although 
 you may not want it now, you will find a use for 
 it some time or other. I say the same to you 
 with regard to observation. Mark every thing 
 you perceive — let your observations and reflec- 
 tions take in every object within your reach. For 
 there is not a fact in the whole circle of human 
 observation, nor even a fugitive anecdote that you 
 read in a newspaper, or hear in conversation, that 
 will not afford some useful reflection." From 
 every individual with whom you converse, how- 
 ever unlearned and ignorant, somethmg new and 
 valuable can be obtained, by proper observation. 
 Sir Walter Scott was one of those men, who 
 draw information from every thing within their 
 observation. One of the means by which he,ob- 
 
58 rRAClICAI. CBriERVATlON. 
 
 tainod his celebrity as a writer, was his habit of 
 obtaining useful hints from sources to which 
 others would never think of looking. It is said 
 that he was once desirous to obtain a certain ob- 
 solete word that had escaped his memory. For 
 a long lime it baffled his researches ; but at length 
 in passing two men in the street, engaged in angry 
 contention, he heard the desired word dropped, 
 amid oaths and imprecations — and he immedi- 
 ately stopped and noted it down. This is prac- 
 tical observation. You should, like the above 
 named individual, endeavor to learn something 
 every where. Your thoughts should be at your 
 command, to meditate upon every new object and 
 idea that may be capable of imparting valuable 
 information. There is not any thing in the world 
 that is not wonh7iot icing. How many are igno- 
 rant, and remain so, because although they see 
 and hear, yet they do not observe. 
 
 The information obtained by observation, is 
 often more valuable than that procured in any 
 other manner. We frequently discover individu- 
 als unskilled in letters, with little acquaintance 
 with books, who yet possess a large fund of use- 
 ful knowledge, and are well informed on a great 
 variety of topics connected with human welfare — 
 while as frequently, scholars from our institutions 
 of learning, are lamentably ignorant in regard to 
 the most valuable interests of society. How is 
 this difference to be accounted for? In this 
 •^ise. The former are men of practical observe- 
 
PRACTICAL OBSERVATION. 59 
 
 tion — they have studied the book of human na- 
 ture—they have become acquamted with "men 
 and things," by actual contact. But the latter 
 have obtained their knowlodge solely from books ; 
 hence they are wise in theory, but ignorant in 
 practice — wise in regard to the past, but ignorant 
 of the present. Could each obtain the acquire- 
 ments of the other, they would then, by possess- 
 ing the advantages of both theory and practice, 
 be enabled in a superior degree, to pass through 
 life with usefulness to themselves and to their 
 fellow-beings. To possess these combined ad- 
 vantages should be the effort of every youth. 
 
 I trust my readers will not suppose I would en- 
 courage an idle curiosity, or an inquisitive inter- 
 meddling with other people's affairs, In obtain- 
 ing information, I would by no means, have you 
 mingle with bad company, or intrude where it 
 would not be proper to appear, or take part in 
 scenes where you are not personally interested. 
 But wherever your intercourse leads you, I would 
 have you attentive to things around. When you 
 are engaged in business, you have numerous op- 
 portunities to observe the workings of human 
 passions and human virtues — the influences upon 
 man's happiness, of honesty, benevolence and 
 generosity, on the one hand, and of avarice, 
 fraud and crime, upon the other. In company, 
 you can perceive and note the characteristics of 
 different individuals, and observe the disposition 
 and manners which render one agreeable to all, 
 
00 PRACTICAL OBSERVATION. 
 
 especially to the virtuous and good, and the con- 
 duct by wliich others cause themselves to be dis- 
 liked and siiunned. Thus you can be a constant 
 student, reading lessons which will afTord the 
 richest wisdom. This work of observation should, 
 in most cases, be performed in silence. When 
 you discover a fault in another, I would have you 
 silently benefit yourself by reflecting upon its 
 deleterious influences, but not needlessly trumpet 
 it to the w^orld. Improve your minds rather by 
 meditatwg upon the imperfections of others, 
 than by expatiating upon, and enlarging them, to 
 the detriment of their unfortunate possessors. 
 
CHAPTER VII. 
 
 / 
 
 INDEPENDENCE OP MIND. 
 
 There is no characteristic more worthy an in- 
 tellectual beingj than independence of mind — that 
 principle by which opinions are formed and ad- 
 hered to, from the convictions of our own senses. 
 Some people are very fluctuating in their conclu- 
 sions — seemingly unable to form any settled opin- 
 ion — and more willing to trust to the decision of 
 otliersj than to the dictates of their own minds. 
 This is an unfortunate failing — it renders those 
 under its influence, liable to many evils. They 
 have no foundation upon which to base any opin- 
 ion, and no strength to maintain the teachings of 
 their own good sense. On religious, political, 
 and other subjects connected with their welfare, 
 they are liable to be driven from point to point — 
 from system to system — without testing either suf- 
 ficiently to ascertain their real merits, or their de- 
 fects. Every wind that blows, faces them a dif- 
 ferent way. To-day they know not what they may 
 believe to-morrow. Ever doubting and never satis* 
 9 61 . 
 
*02 INDLl'L.NDtNCi: OF MIND. 
 
 tied, like jmblic paupers, ihey depend upon others 
 for a supply of mental food. Individuals of this 
 character, are especially sought after by the crafty 
 and the designing. They are material of which 
 they can r-eadily make any present use. Thus they 
 are at the ijiercy of unprincipled plotters, " who 
 lie in wait to deceive" — they are like children, 
 straying amid a multitude of paths, without being 
 able to determine which leads to the desired des- 
 tination — as liable to walk in the way of error 
 and unhappiness, as in that of truth and peace. 
 
 The young very much mistake their interest 
 and happiness, when they permit habits of inde 
 cision and vascillation to creep upon them. By 
 the frequent change of principles or opinions, they 
 lose the confidence of community, and soon are 
 looked upon, only as fit tools to be used by un- 
 principled demagogues. Those who shuffle about 
 from sect to sect — from party to party — are event- 
 ually deemed worthless by all. To avoid being 
 held in this estimation, it must be your endeavor 
 to acquire an independence of mind, that will 
 enable you to form fixed principles, from which 
 trifling considerations can not move you. 
 
 It is necessary, however, that you fully under* 
 stand the characteristics of a truly independent 
 mind. In th.e first place, an independent mind is 
 not rash. Many pride themselves on immediately 
 forming their opinions on every subject to which 
 their attention is directed, without the trouble of 
 reflection. But this is foolish rashness, and not 
 
INDEPENDENCE OF MIND, 63 
 
 independence. Those who pursue this course, 
 rush needlessly into many unpleasant predica- 
 ments. Opinions thus formed, are far more liable 
 to be wrong than right — and thus their authors 
 are compellec! either to support positions palpably 
 erroneous, or retract the rash grounds they have 
 assumed. In either case, they lose the confidence 
 of the judicious and prudent. 
 
 Neither does the independent mind despise the 
 opinions of others. There are some who deem 
 it derogatory to their character to listen to, or 
 adopt the views of others. It matters not how im- 
 portant is the subject, or how experienced are 
 those who express their sentiments ; if the prof- 
 fered advice does not coincide with their precon- 
 ceived opinions, they consider it very manly and 
 independent to reject it. But the mind possess- 
 ing true independence, will seek the advice of 
 others — will listen to whatever varying views 
 may be expressed — and from such suggestions, 
 adopt those opinions which appear the most rea- 
 sonable. 
 
 Equally far is true independence of mind re- 
 noved from obstinacy. After an opinion has once 
 een formed and expressed perhaps publicly, some 
 eople will permit pride or obstinacy, to prevent 
 their rejecting it, even after being fully con- 
 vmced of its fallacy. And thus they will con- 
 tinue to hug error and support principles they 
 know to be unsound, through fear that a renounce- 
 ment of them would be attributed to weakness or 
 
M i.ndi;pl\ndi;nl'K op mind 
 
 imbecility. But such a course is far from being 
 an independent one. It discovers rather a weak 
 and servile mind, than a free and lirm one. It 
 shows a mind filled with a slavish fear of popular 
 opinion — a trembling apprehension lest some per- 
 sons as puerile as themselves, should deride them. 
 And from a fear of being considered weak, by the 
 weak, they will remain under the influence of a 
 real weakness and slavery, that the firm and up- 
 right scorn. The mind can evince as much inde- 
 pendence in renouncing an erroneous sentiment, 
 despite all influences of an opposing character, 
 as in supporting a just one, against every disad- 
 vantage. But there is an important distinction 
 between clianging an opinion from firm convic- 
 tion, after deep research and mature deliberation, 
 and rashly vascillating from one view to another, 
 at every trifling impulse, without forethought or 
 reflection. The former is to be commended and 
 imitated — the latter to be despised and avoided. 
 
 True independence of mind consists in candid- 
 ly and matureiy examining every subject which 
 engages your attention — impartially and faithfully 
 searching its foundations, and all the evidences of 
 its truth — and then forming such opinion in re- 
 gard to its merits, as unbiassed reason shall dic- 
 tate, without being influenced by any extraneous 
 circumstances. The mind of real independence, 
 adopts only such sentiments as it believes to be 
 true — and only because they are true, in its esti- 
 mation. And, consequently, it will adhere to 
 
INDEPENDENCE OF MIND. 65 
 
 them fii'mly, until ooovinced by superior evidence 
 of their falsity. 
 
 It is to be deeply regretted that in every com- 
 munity, "there is a class who will sacrifice men- 
 ial freedom and the right of judgment, at the 
 \ shrine of popularity. They will believe any thing 
 ' that is popular, and oppose every thing that is 
 right, if it is unpopular." But such a truckling 
 and imbecile course, the individual of a firm and 
 manly mind most heartily scorns. He does not 
 inquire, is this sentiment popular, or fashionable, 
 or believed by the multitude, or by the proud and 
 the wealthy ? But he simply asks, is it true? 
 And upon the affirmative decision of this ques- 
 tion, alone depends its reception into his belief. 
 In selecting their place for public worship, those 
 whose minds are independent, do not inquire, who 
 attend this meeting or that ? where do the mul- 
 titude crowd? where does popularity centre? 
 which is the most fashionable resort? Such 
 questions indicate servility and bondage of the 
 deepest character. But they only ask, where can 
 I listen to the truth ? — and there, fashionable or 
 antashionable, popular or unpopular, they deem 
 it their duty to attend. Neither do they conceal 
 opinions faithfully formed and honestly believed. 
 Those who pretend to believe one seatiment, and 
 yet in reality, cherish another — who give their 
 public support to doctrines which they at heart 
 abhor, can lay no just claim to moral freedom. 
 They are to be pitied as involved in a slavery 
 6* 
 
06 INDKI'tNnLNCL OF MIND 
 
 which degrades ihem in iheir own estimalion, and 
 in that of a discerning public. But independent 
 minds, freely, frankly and openly express their 
 sentiments, upon every proper occasion, with a 
 just detestation of hypocrisy and dissimulation. 
 
 Those who possess mental freedom, do not allow 
 fear to bias them in forming their opinions. Fear, 
 or cautiousness, is good in its place — it has a 
 proper office, and that it should fulfil. But it has 
 nothing to do Avith selecting sentiments for belief, 
 or with decision upon the truth or falsity of opin- 
 ions. The Creator has bestowed upon man more 
 enlightened, elevated and ennobling faculties for 
 this important purpose. He has given us reason 
 and judgment, to preside over the emotions of the 
 mind ; and to the decision of these high umpires, 
 should be brought every question pertaining to our 
 opinions. Those who neglect their mental facul- 
 ties, and go down to the low passion o[ fear, to 
 inquire whether they shall adopt or reject senti- 
 ments, not only degrade their nature, dishonor 
 their high powers, and reject the proper exercise 
 of the most valuable of God's gifts, but also throw 
 down the bulwarks that have been reared for their 
 mental protection, and lay themselves open to the 
 assaults of every dark error — every degrading su 
 perstition ! Only agitate their fears — arouse their 
 apprehensions — and no error is so inconsistent or 
 monstrous, that they cannot be made to receive 
 it — inasmuch as reason, which alone can reveal 
 error, is distrusted and trodden under foot. 
 
INDEPENDENCE OF MIND. 67 
 
 I trust these remarks, young reader, are of suf- 
 ficient weight to awaken you to the importance of 
 establishing your principles on a foundation char- 
 acterized by firmness and independence. It is a 
 neglect to exercise these qualities, that has in- 
 volved so many youth in the embraces of error, 
 vice and misery. Where this qualification of an 
 independent mind is lacking, you are exposed to 
 the dangers of youthful temptation, to the dele- 
 terious influences of pride, fashion, popularity, 
 and fear, which can not add one improvement to 
 the mind, or impart a single emotion of true hap- 
 piness. But armed with this noble characteris- 
 tic, the assaults of these powers will be as vain 
 as the empty chaff, blown against a firm seated 
 rock. 
 
 A proper independence of mind will preserve 
 you from the inroad of many debasing influences. 
 Are you in the company of the atheist ? It will 
 not allow you to fall in with his derision of things 
 sacred and divine, but will influence you ever to 
 acknowledge and defend your belief in the Gospel 
 of Jesus Christ. In reply to his cavillings and 
 his witticisms, you will present the broad panoply 
 of reason and the unimpeachable testimony of 
 nature. Are you in the presence of the profli- 
 gate, who scoff at religion, morality and virtue? 
 Independence of mind will enable you to with- 
 stand their temptations, to reprove their sinful 
 follies, to rebuke their licentiousness, and to point 
 ibem to the certain evil consequences which fol- 
 
<J8 tSDtl'ENOENCE OF MIND. 
 
 low liie liansgressor. Do you hear the religiou* 
 sentiments which you entertain, niisrepresenteoi 
 or ridiculed ? An independent mind will enable 
 you, boldly yet courteously, to remove misrepre- 
 sentation, and to show that ridicuJe is a poor sub- 
 stitute for sound argument. 
 
 A proper independence of mind will administer 
 much to success in all the avocations of life. It 
 will influence you to depend more upon your own 
 energies, than upon the fluctuations of chance ; 
 and your capabilities will, in this manner be de- 
 veloped and drawn into activity, with a good as- 
 surance of prosperity. It will also gain for you 
 tlie respect of community at large. Nothing 
 more sinks an individual's vdue in the eyes o( 
 others, than a fickle, unstable mind. No confi- 
 dence is placed in his judgment — no Aveight at- 
 tached to liis advice — no respect paid to his opin- 
 ions or his resolutions. But whoever evinces a 
 firm mind, connected with a good character, will 
 invariably obtain the confidence of society. How- 
 ever others may differ from him in sentiment, his 
 counsel will be sought after, his opinions respect- 
 ed, his advice followed. 
 
 This characteristic is also necessary to self-re 
 spect. Fickleness of mind in others, you pity, 
 yea, almost despise. But when conscious that 
 you possess this weakness yourself, or that you 
 give v;ay to it on important occasions, the reflec- 
 tion will abase you in your own estimation, and 
 end to an improper distrusting of your real powers. 
 
INDEPENDENCE OF MIND. 6'(^ 
 
 In these circumstances, it Avill be in vain truly to 
 respect yourself, from ilie depressing conviction 
 that you do not possess the confidence of others. 
 But an assurance that you have fixed principles, 
 and that you have sufficient firmness to assert and 
 maintain tliem, will impart the proper amount of 
 confidence in your own capabilities, which is one 
 of the important ingredients of success in all un- 
 dertakings. It will give an efficiency and firm- 
 ness to your deportment that will render your ex- 
 ertions easy and unembarrassed. 
 
 Be it your endeavor, therefore, to cultivate a 
 judicious and manly independence of mind — an 
 independence as far removed from stubbornness 
 as from fickleness — an. independence which leaves 
 you at liberty, yea, urges you, to listen respect- 
 fully and candidly to all proper suggestions, and 
 to seek out information wherever it may be found^ 
 and enables you from all your meahs of knowl- 
 edge, to form your own opinions^ irrespective of 
 those entertained by others, and to assert and 
 maintain those opinions, until convinced of their 
 fallacy. Thus will you exercise the ennobling 
 prerogative of your nature — ^bring into exercise 
 the high faculties with which you have been en- 
 dowed, and in a good degree, participate in the 
 many blessings which they are capable of im- 
 parting. 
 
CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 t 
 
 \ 
 
 POLITENESS. 
 
 In all communities of intelligent beings, there 
 are certain rules, regulations, or customs, adopted 
 by general consent, to govern the intercourse of 
 Ofwe with another. They are termed in our lan- 
 fj&.hffe. 'politeness. It is true, these usages differ 
 much m their character. A custom considered 
 very polite in one country, is deemed extravagant 
 and ridiculous in another. But however these 
 practices may vary, certain forms of politeness 
 prevail in every class, from the polished circles 
 of the highest ranks of civilization, down to the 
 barbarous and untutored tribes of the forest. 
 Your attention, however, will be directed exclu- 
 sively to the general subject of politeness, as un 
 derstood in enlightened countries, and as appli- 
 cable to youth of both sexes. 
 
 Singular as the remark may appear, it is quite 
 evident to my mind, that the Gospel of the Re- 
 deemer, understood in its proper sense, is the only 
 perfect source of true politeness.. What is po- 
 
 70 
 
POLll'ENLSe. 71 
 
 liteness ? It is not an air, a simper or a strut — it 
 is not the mincing of ^vords, or the formal man- 
 ner of expressing sentiments. Politeness is ai? 
 exhibition, through words, sings or tokens, o\ 
 kind and friendly emotions towards those in our 
 presence. These emotions cannot be exhibited 
 properly in the conduct, unless they really exist 
 in the bosom. And they cannot exist in the bo- 
 som in their full extent, nor exert their influences, 
 unless warmed into life by the spirit of Christ's 
 religion. Those individuals whose hearts are 
 steeped in the influences of the Gospel — who 
 view all mankind as their brethren — who love 
 them all, (even their enemies,) as directed by 
 the Saviour, and who allow these emotions to 
 control their conduct, will be truly polite. And 
 although their manners, from want of opportuni- 
 ty, may not be as polished as those of others, yet 
 they will exhibit that spirit of universal kindness 
 and good will, which is the spirit of politeness, 
 and without which politeness can not in reality 
 exist. Hence the first step in the acquisition 
 of politeness, is to imbibe the noble, generous, 
 liberal and kind feelings, which flow from an en* 
 lightened appreciation of the Saviour's teachings 
 and examples. These emotions will form a prop- 
 er foundation, upon which a polished demeanor 
 can be based, and which will render its acquire* 
 ment easy and natural. 
 
 As this subject embraces an extensive range, 1 
 shall be able only to glance briefly at a few of its 
 
^ POLITENESS. 
 
 most prominent features. And first your atten- 
 tion will be directed to a few things tliat are 
 impolite. 
 
 Profane or irreverent language is improper and 
 wicked in any place ; but when uttered in com- 
 pany is very impolite. It exhibits a low, gross 
 and uncukivatcd mind. Every young man — 1 
 need not say, every young lady — who would be 
 considered polite and well bred, will avoid such 
 language as highly derogatory to genteel man- 
 ners. Refrain from low and vulgar anecdotes, 
 and indelicate allusions or inuendoes. Nothing 
 should be uttered in company, that violates the 
 simple rules of modesiy. Every thing of this 
 nature is both improper and impolite. 
 
 Do not speak loud and long in company. This 
 is a fault that young people are liable to commit. 
 In the exuberance of their spirits, the voice is 
 often raised to a high key, and some favorite 
 topic is extended to an immoderate length, to the 
 exclusion of all other conversation. This habit 
 should be strictly guarded against. Those who 
 indulge in it are liable to utter many things ridicu- 
 lous and absurd, and to lay themselves open to 
 the just censure of the wise and prudent. Loud 
 laughter is also impolite ; and is considered by 
 many, as an indication of an empty mind. 1 
 would by no means banish sociability and pleas- 
 antry from the friendly circle. But there should 
 be a proper medium observed. The good sense 
 of youth, should teach them not to surpass, in 
 
P0UTENE83. ^ 73 
 
 these respects, certain bounds prescribed by pro- 
 priety. 
 
 In a mixed company, avoid, if possible, all con- 
 tentions and disputes — especially on exciting top- 
 ics. If carried to any extent, they lead to the 
 exhibition of improper feelings; and generally 
 cause the disputants, and the whole company, tt 
 become unhappy. There may be cases where 
 this rule should be departed from ; but such in- 
 stances are exceedingly rare. As a general prac- 
 tice, the rule should be strictly adhered to. 
 
 Do not permit yourselves, in company, to speak 
 disrespectfully of one who is absent, if you can 
 consistently avoid it. This practice is not only 
 impolite, but it is ungenerous and unjust. If it 
 becomes necessary to express opinion^ derogato- 
 ry to the character of the absent, speak in guard- 
 ed language, and with all the palliations that 
 charity and forgiveness can suggest. 
 
 Avoid any exhibitions of anger or petulance. 
 They are impolite and immodest — especially so 
 in females. They throw you off your guard — 
 cause you to utter expressions extremely improp- 
 er, and often ridiculous — and place you in cir- 
 cumstances very unpleasant. A guard should be 
 placed upon the temper. Nothing is more to be 
 avoided than the outbreakings of rage. Under 
 their mfluence evils are often committed, for 
 which a whole after life of propriety can hardly 
 atone 
 
 Be -cautious not to interrupt others whenspeaV 
 7 
 
74 POLITSNCSH. 
 
 , ing. This plainly indicates a want of good bleed- 
 ing ; and yet it is a very common practice with. 
 many. However anxious you • lay be to atter 
 your views, remain silent until those who are 
 speaking have concluded. Respect to them, and 
 a desire to avoid confusion, as well as the rules 
 of propriety, dictate a strict adherence to this 
 precaution. "^ 
 
 Do not bluntly deny the truth of the opinions 
 expressed by those with Avhom you are conver- 
 sing — and more especinlly if they are aged, or 
 their opportunities for obtaining information have 
 been superior to yours. If you differ from them, 
 express your views in modest and respectful lan- 
 guage, and with due deference to their mature 
 experien(;e. You should rather suggest the pro- 
 priety of a different opinion, than pertinaciously 
 assert it. 
 
 Never indulge in ridiculing others in company. 
 It is a vulgar and ungenerous practice, and indi- 
 cates a narrow, uncultivated mind. All have 
 their w^eaknesses and imperfections — even those 
 who possess the most shining talents, have their 
 blemishes. "But what an absurd thing it is, to 
 pass over all the valuable characteristics of indi- 
 viduals, and fix our attention on their infirmities — 
 to observe their imperfections more than the'- 
 virtues — and to make use of them for the sport 
 of others, rather than for our own improvement."* 
 
 • Addiaon. 
 
POLITENESS. 75 
 
 " The litllesi feeling of all, is the delight in con- 
 templatins? the littleness of other people." Per- 
 sons addicted to ridicule, are not usually distin- 
 guished for their own wisdom or good sense. 
 Like critics who cut up a good publication, with- 
 out being able to produce one themselves worth 
 reading, so those most given to the ridicule of 
 others, are generally themselves deficient in many 
 of the valuable characteristics of human nature. 
 " If the talent of ridicule were employed to laugh 
 men out of vice and folly, it might be of some use 
 to the world; but, instead of this, we find that it 
 is generally made use of, to laugh men out of 
 virtue and good sense, by attacking every thing 
 that is solemn and serious, decent and praise- 
 "worthy in human life."* If young people must 
 indulge in ridicule, I pray you, act upon the re- 
 verse of this observation of the great English 
 scholar. Let your talent of ridicule be exercised 
 only against immoral and vicious practices — 
 against pride, folly, and every species of extrav- 
 agance and sin. 
 
 Avoid ridiculing others, on account of their 
 appearance or their plainness of dress. Some 
 are naturally more awkward in their demeanor 
 llian others, and any ridicule on that account, 
 will be at the expense of your good sense, in the 
 eyes of the discriminating. All tastes do not 
 agree in regard to dress You claim the liberty of 
 
 ♦ Addison. 
 
76 POLITENESS. 
 
 arraying yourselves in such habiliments and style 
 as your fancy dictates. You should be willing 
 to grant the same privilege to others, and should 
 no more imagine that you have the right of ridi- 
 culing them for not following your taste, than 
 they have of ridiculing you for not imitating 
 theirs. And by all means, avoid ridiculing those 
 who from poverty, are unable to appear in attire 
 as costly or fashionable, as that of community in 
 general. This is a cruel, ungenerous, unmanly 
 practice. It is not only impolite, but it is really 
 inhuman. It displays a selfish spirit, a shallow 
 mind, and a heart devoid of the gentler suscep- 
 tibilities of our nature. No individual — male or 
 female — can justly lay the least claim to polite- 
 ness or generosity, who exhibits a feeling so mean 
 and brutal. Instead of basely indulging in the 
 ridicule of the poor, you should be inclined to 
 drop the tear of pity over their misfortunes, to 
 commiserate their condition, to sooth them and 
 reconcile them to their situations, and, if possi- 
 ble, to do something, or say something, that will 
 shed a few rays of enjoyment into their hearts. 
 Individuals possessing true politeness, will exhibit 
 towards people in low circumstances as to prop- 
 erty, none but emotions of a kind, humane and 
 generous character. And they will not judge ol 
 their worth by their poverty. But looking be- 
 yond the outward circumstances, to the qualities 
 of the heart, they will honor and commend in- 
 tegrity, virtue and purity, as readily when clothed 
 
POLITENESS. 77 
 
 in worn and humble garments, as when arrayed 
 in " purple and fine linen." 
 
 We will now briefly examine the affirmative of 
 this subject, and notice a few characteristics that 
 pertain to politeness. I have once remarked that 
 true politeness, is an exhibition, through outward 
 signs and tokens, of kind and friendly emotions 
 towards those in your presence. Or in other 
 words, politeness is a desire to make those around 
 you happy. A disposition to be pleasant and 
 agreeable, therefore, is one of the first requisites 
 of politeness. It is impossible for those who are 
 morose and ill tempered, to be polite. They may- 
 assume the outward form, the shadow, but the 
 spirit of true politeness will be wanting. If from 
 misfortune, disappointment, or vexatious difficul- 
 ties, or illnessj your feelings are in an unhappy or 
 irritable state, you had far better refrain from 
 mingling in company, while such is your condi- 
 tion, than to make others wretched by a display 
 of your ill feelings. Strive, therefore, while you 
 are in company, to be good humored, cheerful 
 and kindly disposed. With these feelings in full 
 activity, you can not well avoid being polite. 
 And it is encouraging to know that with every 
 efibrt to entertain and exhibit these emotions, 
 they will increase in stability and extent, until 
 they become a second nature, and habitually per- 
 vade your minds. 
 
 Gratitude is another ingredient of politeness. 
 What can appear more dishonorable or selfish, 
 
78 poLrrENEW. 
 
 than an insensibility to proflered kindness?— 
 what more ill bred or impolite? The uncultiva- 
 ted boor, will, under the dictation of nature, re- 
 turn thanks for favors. And it surely becomes 
 those who would improve their manners, not to 
 be unmindful of this subject. Every attention 
 which you receive from others, is an indication of 
 the kindness which they cherish towards you. 
 In this light should they be received and properly 
 acknowledged. 
 
 As Washington was once walking with a dis- 
 tinguished gentleman, they met a negro, who, in 
 passing, saluted them. The General gracefully 
 returned the salutation. His companion express- 
 ed much surprise, that he should return the bow 
 of a black man. "Sir," said Washington, 
 "should I permit this poor negro to exceed me 
 in politeness ?" This was an instance of genu- 
 ine politeness. While the impolite man would 
 have passed stiffly and haughtily by, without con- 
 descending to notice the African's indication of 
 respect, the noble minded personage, who then 
 occupied the highest station on earth, acknowl- 
 edged, by a suitable return, his sense of the ne- 
 gro's attention. To be grateful for all, even the 
 smallest favors granted you, the smallest indica- 
 tions of respect, and to express your gratitude by 
 some word, or in some intelligible manner, is im- 
 periously demanded by politeness. While it is 
 gratifying to have acts of kindness noticed and 
 appreciated, it is exceedingly painful to have 
 
POLITENESS. 79 
 
 ihem coldly received, with no indications of 
 thankfulness. 
 
 In entertaining a mixed company, much de- 
 pends upon the host or hostess. It should be 
 your great object in such a situation, to make all 
 your company, if possible, feel pleasant and agree- 
 able. You should not, therefore, confine your 
 "attentions or conversation to one, or any select 
 number; but they should be equally directed to 
 all. And in your conversation, you should dis- 
 criminate between the different degrees of infor- 
 mation, and the different occupations of your 
 guests. Each individual should be addressed on 
 subjects in regard to which they are considered 
 the best informed ; and your conversation with 
 them should be so directed as to relieve them 
 from embarrassment, and bring out their peculiar 
 excellencies and acquirements. From these im- 
 partial attentions, all feel that they are duly ap- 
 preciated, all are gratified, and all enjoy them- 
 selves. You should, in one sense, forget yourself, 
 to make those in your presence agreeable. And 
 yet all these attentions should be executed in so 
 delicate and artless a manner, as scarcely to al- 
 low them to perceive that your object is to make 
 them appear well, and to minister to their enjoy- 
 nfent. ' 
 
 Always attend to those who address you, and 
 give due heed to their remarks. Inattention in 
 this respect, is exceedingly rude, and indicates a 
 laek of good breeding. Do not frequently change 
 
80 POLITENESS, 
 
 yoDT posture by rising up or silting down, or 
 walking about, while another is speaking to you. 
 It will be construed into a neglect of their worth, 
 or a desire to avoid their conversation. Whis- 
 pering and holding private discourse in company, 
 is very improper and impolite. 
 
 Pi-espect to the aged, is another trait of polite- 
 ness. It is extremely indecorous to make those 
 advanced in years, the subject of ridicule, de- 
 rision or laughter. Gray hairs should ever be 
 treated with deference and respect. The aged 
 have long borne the burdens of life — they have 
 administered to the welfare of society, and to the 
 prosperity and enjoyment of those who are now 
 young. It becomes your duty, as the palsy ot 
 age creeps upon them, incapacitating them for 
 active duties and for labors, to honor and rever- 
 ence them— to cherish and support them, and 
 reader " the downhill of life," as agreeable and 
 pleasant as possible. No sight is more delightful 
 than to behold the young assiduously engaged ir 
 respectful attentions to the aged — while there h 
 no greater lack of politeness, no plainer indication 
 of an unfeeling heart, than to treat the aged with 
 neglect, disrespect or harshness. 
 
 Before closing this subject, I cannot refrain 
 from again directing your attention to the real 
 nature of politeness. People, generally, are too 
 ready to judge of its existence by exterior appear- 
 ance and manners. When persons enter a room 
 with ease, make a graceful bow, and are very for- 
 
POLITENESS. 
 
 81 
 
 mal and ceremonious, they are called polite. 
 But although a due attention to formalities is 
 proper, yet they do not constitute all of. polite- 
 ness — they are, indeed, as has once been said, 
 but its shadow, and may be, and often are, assum- 
 ] ed where no genuine politeness exists. True 
 politeness, I repeat, consists in entertaining kind 
 '^nd friendly feelings towards others, and in ex- 
 hibiting those emotions in your manners. There- 
 fore, to be polite, in the just acceptation of that 
 word, you must cultivate the generous feelings of 
 the heart — you must see that this fountain of hu- 
 man emotions is purified, and that nothing there 
 exists but good will towards all your fellow-beings. 
 With the affections in this state, politeness, al- 
 most without eflbrt, will shine in your intercourse 
 with the world. There will be no cold affecta- 
 tion, no heartless hypocrisy ; but with a moderate 
 degree of outward cultivation, the manners w U 
 be graceful and polite. 
 
CHAPTER IX. 
 
 LETTER-WRITING. 
 
 Although this subject may be viewed by j,ome, 
 as of little importance, yet it should by no njeans 
 be overlooked by the young. There are few 
 youth of either sex, who will not find it necessary 
 to correspond with relatives and friends, and of- 
 ten with strangers. And few there are, who do 
 not desire to have their letters appear well in the 
 sight of those to whom they are addressed. 
 
 The first requisite in letter-writing is care in 
 the penmanship. It should be your elfort to have 
 your writing plain and distinct. It is true, the 
 penmanship of all can not possess the same ele- 
 gance and finish ; but all can and should exert 
 themselves to have their letters as legible and 
 neat as possible — free from blots, and with as little 
 interlining as may be. You should also endeav- 
 or to punctuate your composition properly and 
 distinctly. It is no small labor to peruse a letter 
 without stop or point of any kind. In such cases, 
 it is difficult to obtain the meaning of the writer, 
 
 82 
 
LETTER- WRITING. 83 
 
 and ludicrous, and sometimes fatal mistakes, are 
 in tliis manner occasioned. Tlie necessity of both 
 spelling and punctuating correctly, is exemplified 
 in the old and familiar anecdote, of the note hand- 
 ed to the minister, in some town on the sea-board. 
 It read as follows : "A man going to see his wife, 
 desires the prayers of the congregation." When 
 read as thus written, it was perfectly ridiculous. 
 But by changing the word see to sea, and remo- 
 ving the comma from after the word wife to the 
 word sea, the meaning of the writer is expressed 
 as follows: "A man going to sea, his wife desires 
 the prayers of the congregation." 
 
 Great caution should be exercised in regard to 
 the contents of letters. Let it be remembered 
 that letters are often preserved a great length of 
 time, and frequently come into hands of whom 
 the Avriters little thought, while penning them. 
 Injudicious letters are liable, through accident or 
 other causes, to stray into the possession of those 
 who will wield them greatly to your disadvantage. 
 Many individuals would give half their wealth, 
 to recall letters hastily written, or to blot out sen- 
 tences incautiously inserted. " We ought not 
 to write any thing of which we may hereafter feel 
 ashamed. Well written letters are as often burnt 
 or destroyed, as slovenly or indiscreet epistles 
 are, by accident or design, preserved, to rise up in 
 judgment against us hereafter."* An instance 
 
 ♦ Young Ladies' Own Book. 
 
84 LETTKR-WRITINO. 
 
 in point lately oocijrred. At the decease of the 
 celebrated Aaron Burr, among his papers were 
 found letters received in former years, which, had 
 they been made public, would have ruined the 
 characters of many individuals moving in the 
 highest circles. ■ Exercise your judgment upon 
 this subject. Write nothing to the most intimate 
 friend that would cause you to blush or feel de- 
 graded, were it read by strangers. I desire not 
 that you should circumscribe the free and frank 
 expression of thought, but would rather com- 
 mend it. Write to your correspondents as you 
 would converse with them, had you the opportu- 
 nity — but as you would converse with them in 
 the presence of others. 
 
 If possible, avoid writing disparagingly of the 
 character of any. Inadvertencies in this respect, 
 are the frequent causes of difficulty and conten- 
 tion. Sentences of this nature often find their 
 way to ears for which they were least designed 
 If it becomes necessary to state your opinion of 
 the character of any individual, communicate 
 your sentiments in a frank, yet kind manner — 
 write nothing as truth, that you do not know to 
 be true — avoid deleterious insinuations — in fine, 
 write as you would, were you addressing the per- 
 son in reference to whose character you are ma- 
 king your statements. 
 
 Avoid in your letters, all expressions of anger 
 — all profane or vulgar language — all indelicate 
 words and allusions. Write with the same re- 
 
LETTER-WRITING. 85 
 
 striclions under which you would speak were the 
 person present whom you address — hearing in 
 mind, that when your letters are perused by 
 strangers, they will form an estimate of your char- 
 acter and manners, from the nature and style of 
 their contents. 
 
 In your correspondence, you should keep in 
 view your own station and circumstances, and the 
 rank and condition of the individual whom you 
 address. In writing to relatives and intimate 
 friends, you should express yourself in a different 
 manner than when addressing a stranger. In the 
 former case, you should be w^arm, affectionate 
 and familiar — in the latter, more reserved, yet re- 
 spectful, candid and concise. 
 
 Regularity in correspondence, should be ob- 
 served. Many are very negligent in this respect — 
 putting off writing from day to day and week to 
 week. This is an unnecessary habit, arising solely 
 from sheer indolence, and often causing much dis- 
 appointment and inquietude. Write promptly, at 
 the proper time, without any unnecessary delay. 
 Youth who are absent from home should be punc- 
 tual in this respect. As children leave the abode 
 of their infancy, the sun-light of their parents' 
 joys waxes dim and more dim — as stars, the cher- 
 ished objects of love vanish one by one from the 
 family galaxy, leaving darkness and gloom be- 
 hind. While, in mixing with the busy multitude 
 and engaging in the exciting avocations and 
 amusements of active life, the hours pass lightly 
 8 
 
Bt^ L£rrtR'WRlTl.NG. 
 
 over your heads, you should remember ihat to 
 your parents, in consequence of your absence, 
 time drags with leaden step; and tiiat nothing so 
 cheers their aged hearts, as letters from the absent 
 and loved ones. The young, therefore, should 
 ^ )ften think of their home, of their venerable pa- 
 rents, and the peculiarities of their situation. Of- 
 ten should you despatch letters laden M^ith love 
 and filial affection, and kind expressions of regard, 
 to light up the evening of their days, with smiles 
 of joy. Oh ! how highly are those written mes- 
 sengers prized by the father and the mother ! 
 Anxiously do they await them, and eagerly do 
 they devour their contents. They are as angePs 
 visits, dilTusing consolation and peace. The mel- 
 ancholy caused by separation, is felt much more 
 sensibly by those who remain at home, than by 
 those who go out into the world. 
 
 Be cautious, in giving letters of recommenda- 
 tion, that the individual whom you would benefit, 
 actually possesses the qualilications you enumer 
 ate. If you deceive in this respect, it will injur* 
 your integrity, and detract from your influence 
 Give no such letters, except in cases where yoc 
 feel perfectly assured of the worth of those whc 
 bear your testimonials. 
 
 Never be guilty of circulating anonymous let- 
 ters, or of assuming false signatures.* These 
 
 * The reader will understand that I do not allude to Cc- 
 titious signatures in writing for the public prints, where 
 thny are often properly assumed. But even ui this respect 
 
LETTER- WRITING. 8? 
 
 are low, base practices, utterly beneath the lady 
 or gentleman. They should be heartily reproba- 
 ted and despised. If you desire to give advice or 
 to warn of danger, or to make any communica- 
 tion to an individual, do it under your own proper 
 signature, with all frankness and candor. If you 
 can not proceed in tliis open, manly manner, re- 
 frain entirely from all interference. The motives 
 of anonymous writers are ever suspected — they 
 are almost invariably detected and exposed, and 
 do not fail to meet that public execration and dis- 
 gust which they too frequently richly merit. 
 
 they are sometimes resorted to for the basest purposes. 
 As a general rule, it is better in writing for the public, lo 
 use at kast the initials of your name. 
 
CHAPTER X. 
 
 RELIGIOUS OPINIONS. 
 
 That man is by nature, a religious being, is a 
 truth so evident, and so universally acknowledg- 
 ed, that it has passed into an axiom. A religious 
 propensity cr a desire to worship, is one of the 
 constituent principles of the human mind. Where- 
 ever a human being is found, throughout the 
 globe, this religious principle is perceived, lead- 
 ing him to seek out and adore some object, power 
 or being, whom he believes exercises a control 
 over his enjoyments and his destiny. If he can 
 not perceive properties calling for worship in one 
 object, he will in another — if he is ignorant of, or 
 disbelieves in the existence of one supreme, in- 
 telligent Being, he will worship three or a thou- 
 sand — or will reverence a beast, a reptile, a block, 
 or unintelligent matter. This religious propen- 
 sity, like the other powers of mind, must be cul- 
 tivated and enlightened, ere it can impart all the 
 benefit of which it is capable — and when so en- 
 lightened, it becomes the source of the purest 
 
 8S 
 
REUGIODS OPINIONS. 89 
 
 happiness within the reach of man on earth. 
 But when it is uncultivated and swayed by igno- 
 rance, doubt or superstition, it leads to the belief 
 of the wildest vagaries of the imagination and to 
 much mental pain. 
 
 An enlightened and consistent religious belief, 
 should be viewed by youth as one of the first and . 
 most important of human acquisitions. It forms 
 a stable and secure basis, upon which all the 
 proper enjoyments of life can be safely founded. 
 All other sources of earthly happiness, depend 
 upon many contingencies, and are liable to fluc- 
 tuation and decay. But a reasonable and scrip- 
 tural system of religion, when once firmly settled 
 in the mind, is subject to no variation from time 
 or events. It is a pure stream of running water, 
 "whose fountain is far removed, alike from the 
 scorching heat of Summer and the icy chains of 
 Winter. Prosperity can not dry it up, neither 
 can adversity freeze it. In seasons of success, it 
 heightens every comfort, and it turns the edge of 
 the keenest afliictions. It is a friend that never 
 forsakes ; but stands by the firmer, when its as- 
 sistance is most needed. 
 
 I iim aware that youth, generally, are inclined 
 ^0 view the subject of religion in an unfavorable 
 light. But I attribute this disinclination, to the 
 manner and form in which the topic has been 
 presented to them, rather than to any inrale 
 aversion. They have been led — or, rather mis- 
 led — to look upon religion as something gloomy, 
 8* 
 
90 RELIGIOUS OPiMO.vg. 
 
 melancholy, fearful — as something calculated to 
 deprive ihem of the amusements and enjoyments 
 proper to their age — something that makes life 
 sad, tasteless and wearisome. But I would say 
 to the youth whose eye is resting on these lines, 
 that such views of religion are radically and 
 wholly erroneous. Words of purer truth were 
 never uttered, than those contained in the poet's 
 stanza : — 
 
 " Religion never was designed 
 To ma e our pleasures less." 
 
 It never was designed by its Author to take from 
 you one enjoyment, proper to you as a rational 
 and moral being, or to deprive you of a single 
 emotion of true pleasure — it never was intended 
 to make you melancholy or in any way unhappy. 
 But the object and influences of the pure reli- 
 gion of the Gospel, are directly the reverse. So 
 far from depriving you of enjoyment, the religion 
 of the Redeemer would make you happy. And 
 to this end it is designed, to point out to you, the 
 true pleasures from the false — the sources of real 
 gratification, in distinction to those that are de- 
 ceitful and unsatisfying. It would enable you to 
 distinguish between the pure gold, and those ob- 
 jects which are but gilded — between the substance 
 and the shadow. True religion would induce you 
 to avoid those practices, sometimes falsely termed 
 pleasure, which lead to degradation, wretchedness 
 and ruin, and which always leave the sting of 
 death} and in their place, would impart those 
 
RELIGI0C3 OPINIONS. 91 
 
 enjoyments which are pure and permanent, and 
 which increase in value as age advances. True 
 religion is not designed to overshadow the path- 
 way of life with the dark clouds of despondency, 
 but to cheer it with the bright sunshine of peace 
 and contentment — a sunshine that will beam upon 
 you with its most vivid brightness, in those mo- , 
 ments when you would otherwise be surrounded 
 by darkness and despair. 
 
 Do you not perceive, my young friends, the 
 great importance of endeavoring to cultivate your 
 religious faculties ? Would you avoid unhappi- 
 ness and degradation? would you enjoy pleasure, 
 comfort, peace? Obtain correct views of religion, 
 and you will assuredly escape the former and 
 secure the latter, to as great an extent as imper- 
 fect mortals can expect in this state of existence. 
 I have said correct views of religion, because er- 
 roneous religious sentiments, can not produce 
 these beneficial results. Indeed, error in religion 
 is one of the most fruitful sources of wretched- 
 ness. There are false sentiments sometimes 
 conveyed under the garb of Christianity, which 
 fill the mind of the believer with pain and an- 
 guish inexpressible — and the more firmly they are 
 believed, the more dreadful are the consequences. 
 But these sentiments, remember, pertam not to 
 the religion of Jesus Christ. They are errors en- 
 grafted upon the lovely system of the Gospel, in 
 those long centuries of darkness and ignorance, 
 which soon succeeded the apostolic age. With 
 
08 RELIGIOUS OriNIONB. 
 
 proper scrutiny thesa errors can readily be de- 
 tected. There is such an incongruity, such a 
 want of harmony, and such a perfect contradic- 
 tion between them and all the prominent and be- 
 nevolent characteristics of the Gospel, that the 
 clear and unprejudiced mind, can at once distin- 
 guish between their teachings and origin. While 
 the instructions of one, are every thing kind, mer- 
 ciful, and benevolent, the other promulgates all 
 that is dark, and horrid, and cruel — while one 
 originated from infinite Wisdom on high, the 
 other is the unholy fruit of the disordered ima- 
 ginations of men. 
 
 In forming your religious opinions, it is neces- 
 sary that great caution be exercised, or you may 
 imbibe error instead of truth. I will mention a 
 few rules that will assist you in your researches 
 on this important subject. 
 
 Let reason be the guiding star in all your in- 
 vestigations. God has formed you reasoning be- 
 ings ; and he could have had no object in imparting 
 this high faculty, but that you should exercise it 
 on all subjects within your cognizance. To dis- 
 regard the dictates of this reason is derogatory to 
 your character, extremely dangerous to your 
 peace, and an abuse of the most valuably earthly 
 gift of your Creator. You should perceive the 
 truth of these remarks, and permit them to sink 
 deep into your minds, before you commence set- 
 tling your religious views. With reason, un- 
 swayed by passion or prejudice, for your guide 
 
RELIGIOUS OPINIONS. 93 
 
 you can hardly err in religion ; but deprived of 
 its directing light, all is darkness and uncertainty, 
 and without fail, you will grope your way into 
 that error which generates misery. 
 
 I am aware that it has been fashionable with 
 certain sectarists, to decry the exercise of reason 
 upon the subject of religion. But you should 
 distrust all such exhortations. They are never 
 resorted to except to support error and delusion — 
 they are never brought forward but as a last re- 
 sort, to chain mankind to doctrines and creeds 
 that are passing away before the increasing light 
 of Gospel truth. Reflect. — Suppose you were to 
 comply with such instructions, and adopt the rule 
 not to consult your reasoning faculties in regard 
 to the subject of religion. Do you not perceive 
 the degradation of such a condition ? Do you 
 not discover that you would be liable to adopt as 
 truth, any absurdity, any wild vagary of the hu- 
 man imagination, however incongruous or mon- 
 strous? Your wisdom will dictate the propriety 
 of avoiding a course so dishonorable to your high 
 endowments. You will make it an invariable 
 rule never to adopt a sentiment within your com- 
 prehension, that is not in perfect accordance with 
 reason. 
 
 I would here caution you that there is an ob- 
 vious and important distinction between a princi- 
 ple or fact that is unreasonable^ and one that is 
 above reason, or beyond the reach of your reason- 
 ing faculties. That the flowers of the field and 
 
M RELIGIOUS OPINIONS. 
 
 •the trees of the forest, grow from the earth iu a 
 gradual progression, is reasonable — to maintain 
 on llie contrary, that they sprung forth at once, in 
 full growth, and proportion, would be unreason- 
 able — but to account fir the whole process by 
 which this phenomenon is produced — to under- 
 stand the art by which nature paints the rose and 
 the lily, in colors so beautiful and dazzling as far 
 to surpass all man's imitative art — is beyond 
 reason! Let these distinctions be kept in view, 
 and applied in your religious investigations. 
 That it must have required a Being possessing 
 infinite intelligence, and omnipotent power, to 
 create all those countless worlds and systems 
 which are scattered through immensity of space, 
 and to originate those laws by which their mo- 
 tions are guided with so much precision — is a 
 reasonable proposition. — No sane mind can throw 
 otr this conviction. But whence that mighty 
 Being came, the mode of his existence, and the 
 manner of exercising his powers, are subjects 
 entirely above our reason — beyond the utmost 
 stretch of our limited capacities. Were these 
 subjects audibly explained to us by an angel from 
 on high, we could not comprehend them with our 
 present feeble powers. But because our weak 
 faculties can not grasp these topics, shall we re- 
 vert to the other extreme, and declare that no 
 God exists? Consistent, well-balanced minds 
 do not reflect in this manner. The one would be 
 to the same degree unreasonable^ that the other 
 
RELIGIOUS OIIN10N3. 90 
 
 is above reason. It is? your prerogative and your 
 duty, to follow and adopt the conclusions of rea- 
 son, as far as your faculties can ascend. But 
 there is a limit which will bound its upward 
 progress, and here your researches must cease — 
 it is in vain to endeavor to penetrate beyond this 
 bound — your every effort will be baffled. You 
 will perceive before you an ocean without bounds 
 — it is the ocean of Infiaity ! And although you 
 can not fathom or measure that ocean, yet there 
 is both pleasure and profit in lingering on its bor- 
 ders and gazing upon its vast extent — now and 
 then allowing thought to take an adventurous 
 flight out upon its bosom, to obtain such truths as 
 may be Vvrithin the reach of its feeble wing ! But 
 because you can not exceed this limit of the hu- 
 man intellect, should you doubt or disbelieve that 
 which is reasonable, within your comprehension 1 
 The scholar who should contend that because he 
 can not solve Euclid's problems, therefore he has 
 reason to doubt that two added to three, make 
 ^y(i, would be considered extremely ignorant! 
 Does it not display equal inconsistency, to disbe- 
 lieve one of the most reasonable and self-evident 
 truths that ever appealed to the human mind — 
 viz., the existence of an intelligent Creator — 
 simply because the human faculties can not span 
 infinity, and understand the mode of his being? 
 Every discerning youth will at once perceive 
 the absurdity of such a course, and avoid the rock 
 upon which so many have foundered. 
 
9§ RELIQIOUS uriMONa. 
 
 I deem it important again to warn you agaihst 
 the influence oi fear. This debasing passion 
 should not be permitted to exercise a.iy control 
 in your decisions upon religious senliiiicnis. Fear 
 was not made umpire of the mind, to decide be- 
 tween truth and error — for it can not possibly dis- 
 tinguish the one from the other. If you permit 
 fear to usurp the throne of reason, and to reign 
 with triumphant sway over the retiections and 
 conclusions of the mind, you commit treason 
 against your own nature, and enter into a bond- 
 age more grievous than the chains and stripes of 
 bodily slavery. Give the mental reins into the 
 hands of fear, and you will be driven into falla- 
 cies the most absurd, and errors the most perni- 
 cious. Never, therefore, allow fear to intermed- 
 dle with the decisions of your mind, for it is the 
 criterion of brutes, and not of rational beings. 
 
 In forming your religious opinions, I can not 
 too strongly urge upon your attention the impor- 
 tance of faithfully perusing the Scriptures of the 
 Old and New Testaments. The volume of in- 
 spiration should be your constant companion. 
 You should be perfectly familiar with its contents 
 — with all its prominent precepts and doctrines. 
 
 In perusing the Scrii)tures, let plain, common 
 sense be your guide in regard to their teachings. 
 From the languages ^in which the Bible was ori- 
 ginally written — from its frequent allusions to 
 manners and customs, to sayings and maxims, te 
 forms of government and the condition of nations, 
 
RELIGIOUS OPINIONS, 97 
 
 as all these existed at the different and distant 
 times when its several portions were penned — it 
 is to be expected that allusions will occasionally 
 be made in that book, which we can not now 
 fully understand— and an understanding of Avhich 
 would, indeed, be of little avail. It should, there 
 fore, be your object in perusing the word of God, 
 to obtain a clear view of the leading doctrineSy 
 the great, general principles, which it inculcates. 
 A little candid attention will satisfy you, that a 
 perfect harmony exists throughout its pages — 
 that there are certain important doctrines char- 
 acterized by truth, wisdom and the purest benev- 
 olence, every where proclaimed in that blessed 
 volume. And a comparison of the teachings of 
 Nature with the prominent declarations of the 
 Scriptures, will convince every enlightened mind 
 that there is a perfect harmony between them, 
 and that both have proceeded from the same 
 source. 
 
 If you observe a passage of Scripture which, 
 at first sight, would seem to contradict the lead- 
 ing principles proclaimed in the Scriptures, it 
 should receive your earnest attention and a criti 
 cal examination. You should be slow to admit 
 o your own mind, that it is contradictory. Ob- 
 serve the connexion in which it is found — ascer- 
 tain who was its author, and to whom it was writ- 
 ten, and what were the circumstances of both 
 parties — and learn the nature and bearing of the 
 subject that is treated upon. If it contains words 
 9 
 
98 RELIGIOUS OPINIONS. 
 
 of varying or of a disputed meaning, criticise those 
 words ; ascertain their origin, the manner in which 
 they are used, and the meaning they are made to 
 convey in other portions of the inspired Avritings. 
 Consult the opinions of writers of diifercnt sects, 
 in regard to its signification — and, in fine, let no 
 measures within your power, be lacking, that will 
 throw light upon the subject. If you faithfully 
 pursue this course, with your minds open to con- 
 viction, you can become perfectly satisfied in re- 
 gard to the teachings of every such passage — and 
 you will also become perfectly assured that the 
 sentiments of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, are 
 characterized wholly by the purest philanthropy, 
 and the most impartial love and kindness. 
 
 Frequent meditation upon the character of 
 God, as revealed in the Scriptures and in the 
 works of nature, is another valuable means of 
 obtaining correct views of religion. The Bible 
 declares that Jehovah possesses infinite wisdom, 
 omnipotent power, and boundless and impartial 
 goodness. — And nature in every part, in every 
 operation, proclaims that its Author possesses 
 the same characteristics. Christians of every 
 sect unite in ascribing these attributes to Deity. 
 Here, then, are settled, undisputed premises, from 
 which you can proceed with satisfactory certain- 
 ty, to draw conclusions respecting the purposes 
 and dealings of God, in regard to man. To at- 
 tribute any work or design to the Maker, which 
 would contradict the existence or perfect influ- 
 
RELIGIOUS OPINIONS. 99 
 
 ence of either of these attributes, would evidently 
 be erroneous. No conclusion can be more cer- 
 tain than this. 
 
 Let these tests be applied to the design of Je- 
 hovah in creating man — evidently the most im- 
 portant subject that can engross the attention of 
 human beings. To say that the Maker has form- 
 ed an intelligent and sensitive being, with a de- 
 termination or foreknowledge, that his existence 
 should result in ceaseless wretchedness, would 
 evidently be very erroneous ; because it plainly 
 impeaches the perfection of one of the most prom- 
 inent attributes of God, viz. his goodness. Either, 
 Deity is not impartially good, or he never formed 
 man, for this destiny, or with a knowledge of its 
 arrival. One of these sentiments must, there- 
 fore, be rejected by every consistent mind. You 
 must either deny God's goodness, or deny that 
 he formed his creatures, determining or knowing 
 that ceaseless evil Avould be their fate. The two 
 "repositions can not exist together. Goodness 
 
 ?ould rather have influenced Jehovah not to cre- 
 ate the being at all, if this terrific end could not 
 be avoided. To declare that the Creator formed 
 man for a good purpose, but that some unforseen 
 accident, some unanticipated contingency Iran- 
 spired, contrary to the expectation and will of 
 God, which plunges the creature into intermina- 
 ble wo, would plainly overthrow the wisdom, the 
 foreknowledge and omnipercipience of Deity j and 
 must, therefore, be erroneou-. And to insist that 
 
100 RELIGIOUS OPINIONS. 
 
 Jehovah has not power to prevent his creatures 
 from experiencing this horrid doom, or has not 
 power to carry into full and perfect execution all 
 his plans for the benefit of man, is equally oppo- 
 sed to his omnipotence, and must be equally un- 
 true. This is a legitimate course of reasoning, 
 and you can properly and safely pursue it. The 
 premises are universally acknowledged to be cor- 
 rect — the logic is plain and unimpeachable — and 
 the conclusions as unavoidable and certain, as 
 they are cheering to the kind and benevolent 
 heart. Believe no sentiment, — however popular, 
 or however strongly enforced by threats, or de- 
 nunciations, or appeals to your fears, — that vio- 
 lates the legitimate influence of the wisdom, 
 power, or goodness of God. Try every senti- 
 ment you may hear proclaimed, by these tests of 
 the Creator's attributes. Whatever coincides 
 with them, believe — whatever contradicts them, 
 reject, as clearly erroneous. 
 
 Remember there is an infinite difference be- 
 tween allowing mankind to suffer the assaults of 
 sin and evil, for a season, to terminate in their 
 amendment, purity and happiness; and in permit- 
 ting these foes to torment them endlessly ! The 
 former — illustrated in the case of Joseph and his 
 brethren — is perfectly consistent with the purest 
 benevolence and love, and would be approbated 
 by angelic hosts and beatified spirits. But the 
 latter is directly and forever opposed to every im- 
 pulse of goodness, holiness and mercy ; and were 
 
RELIGIOUS OPINIONS. 101 
 
 it true, would enshroud heaven with everlasting 
 mourning, and fill its celestial courts with weep- 
 ing and lamentation. For, surely, nothing could 
 more deeply afflict the pure and spotless denizens 
 of a higher world, than an assurance that sin and 
 wretchedness were to be forever perpetuated, and 
 allowed to prey upon beings capable under proper 
 influences and proper instruction, of equalling 
 the angels, in holiness and love I 
 
 In measuring the benefits which men can ex- 
 pect to receive from God, especially in another 
 life, let not the standard be man's worthiness — for 
 that, alas ! at best, can truly demand but little — 
 but let the gifts of the Creator be measured by 
 the desire and capability of the infinite Donor ! 
 He who has but little, can give but little to ob- 
 jects of charity ; but he who has much — who has 
 an infinity of resources at command — can ration- 
 ally be expected to give in accordance to his 
 boundless means. 
 
 There are two extremes relating to religion, in- 
 to which you should sedulously avoid running, 
 vii^ infidelity and fanaticism. The one rejects the 
 most reasonable propositions — the other believes 
 ihu most unreasonable, when enforced by fear.— 
 They form the extreme outposts of incredulity 
 and credulity. Both indicate the weakness in 
 which the human mind is sometimes permitted 
 to exist, and both are unworthy rational beings.— 
 Minds of such character, approximate to each 
 other much nearer than is generally supposed. 
 9* 
 
102 RElJOIOOa OPINIONS. 
 
 Take off the restraint of /car from the fanatitf, 
 without enlightening the mind, and at one leap, 
 ne goes into infidelity. Bring the powerful im- 
 pulse of fear to bear upon the skeptic, and he 
 becomes the raging and illiberal fanatic ! The 
 sound, well-balanced mind, occupies the medium 
 ground between these extremes. While it adopts 
 all that is reasonable on every subject, it rejects 
 every thing unreasonable, without permitting fear 
 to influence its conclusions in the least. That 
 medium ground, which is based upon the Gospel 
 of Jesus Christ, every youth who would be saved 
 from errors, degrading and distressing, should be 
 cautious to occupy. 
 
 Has your mind become entangled in the dark, 
 mystic web of the skeptic? — has your belief in 
 the existence of a supreme, intelligent Creator, 
 been for a moment shaken ? Go out at evening, 
 and gaze upon the bright stars of heaven. What 
 beauty — what order — what harmony ! All speed- 
 ing with inconceivable velocity, in their vast cir- 
 cles, yet with no interference — no confusion. Re* 
 fleet calmly on that Power — 
 
 " whose finger set aright 
 
 This exquisite machine, with all its wheels, 
 Though intervolved, exact,——" 
 
 Could chance^ or the operation of unintelligent 
 laws, call into being all those mighty orbs, and 
 clothe them with beauty, and arrange them in or-* 
 der? Could chance trace out their vast orbits, 
 give them an impetus which no power less than 
 
RELIGtOtJS OFtNtONS. 103 
 
 omnipotence can arrest, and originate those laws 
 by which all their movements are guided and 
 controlled 1 In your candid moments, when rea- 
 son has the uncontrolled ascendancy, you can 
 not bring your mind to this puerile conclusion. 
 Examine critically, and understandingly, the ar- 
 gument which the poet draws from the starry 
 heavens^- 
 
 •Much design 
 
 Is seen in all their motions, all their makefl : 
 
 Design implies intelligence, and art: 
 
 That can't be from ourselves— or man ; that an 
 
 Man scarce can comprehend, could man bestow 1 
 
 Who, motion, foreign to the smallest grain, 
 
 Shot thnjugh masses of enormous weight? 
 
 Who bid brute matter's restive lump assume 
 
 Such various forms, and gave it wings to fly 1 
 
 Has matter innate motion 1 Then each atom 
 
 Asserting its indisputable right 
 
 To dance, would form a universe of dust. 
 
 Has matter none 1 Then whence these glorious forms 
 
 And boundlesd flights, from shapeless, and reposed? 
 
 Has matter more than motion 7 Has it thought, 
 
 Judgment and genius ? Is it deeply learned 
 
 In mathematics ? Has it framed such laws, 
 
 Which, but to guess, a Newton made immortall 
 
 If so, how each sage atom laughs at me. 
 
 Who think a clod inferior to a man? 
 
 If art'to form, and counsel to conduct — 
 
 And that with greater, far, than human skill — 
 
 Resides not in each block — a Godhead reigna! 
 
 Grant then, invisible, eternal Mind; 
 
 That granted, all is solved. " 
 
 When attempts are made to unsettle your con- 
 fidence in the Gospel of Jesus Christ, see that 
 you are not led astray by cavilling and sophistry, 
 
104 RELIGIUUS OPINIONS. 
 
 on points of no importance. Tlie skeptic him- 
 self, can not but acknowledge the great value of 
 the moral precepts of the Gospel. He must ad- 
 mit, that to cause harmony, brotherly kindness 
 and peace, to prevail throughout the habitations 
 of man — to allow the human race to enjoy all 
 the happiness of which they are capable in this 
 world — all that is requisite, is the universal dif- 
 fusion and the universal practice of the rules of 
 moral conduct enjoined by the Saviour. Why, 
 then, should they oppose the spread of a religion 
 possessing these benign characteristics ? Will it 
 have a tendency to cause men to live in that vir- 
 tuous and peaceful manner, so requisite to public 
 welfare, by taking from them the volume that 
 alone can lead them into such a course of life? 
 Call upon the skeptic for a system of religion or 
 morals, that has more valuable properties — that 
 will have a greater tendency to make men virtu- 
 ous, peaceful and happy — that will infuse bright- 
 er prospects or sweeter hopes into the mind, than 
 that contained in the New Testament. And 
 never forsake your adherence to the Gospel of 
 the Redeemer, until that better system is put into 
 your possession.* 
 
 ♦ Females can not be too much on tlifeir guard against 
 the assaults of skepticism. Nothing appears more unnat- 
 ural and abhorrent, than a female skeptic. It seems im- 
 possible that any woman can become so, who is aware of 
 the actual influences of Christianity, and of the immense 
 benefit it has conferred upon her sex. Is it inquired, 
 what has Christianity done especially for woman 1 1 an- 
 sywr— it found her sex degraded and debased— the slavo 
 
RELIGIOUS OPINIONS. 105 
 
 In regard to the authenticity of the New Tes- 
 tament, there is a short method of reasoning, 
 that should have a satisfying influence upon your 
 minds. That book could nor have been written 
 by wicked and deceitful men. It is impossible to 
 conceive any rational motive that could influence 
 such men to forge a volume, v/hich, in every line, 
 deeply condemns their own conduct, and holds 
 them up to the reprehension of their fellow-be- 
 ings. What could induce bad, corrupt men, to 
 
 of man — viewed as only fitted to abide his bidding and 
 subserve his pleasures. From this low estate, Christiani- 
 ty has raised woman up to an equality with the other sex, 
 in a moral and mental point of view — it has made her 
 the companion of man, instead of his slave — and enabled 
 her to become the sharer of his joys^ his triumphs, and 
 his acquirements. All the moral and intellectual advan- 
 tages that females enjoy in Christian lands, above the 
 members of the same sex in savage and ignorant nations, 
 iiave been procured solely through the ameliorating and 
 heavenly influences of the Gospel of Jesus Christ! Look 
 abroad over the earth. Wherever Christianity sheds its 
 benign light, females are elevated, improved, respected 
 and honored— wherever Christianity is not known, there 
 they continue the degraded, wretched servants of man I 
 Surely, then, females who are swayed by the principles 
 of propriety and self-respect— who desire their sex to 
 maintain the elevated elation they now occupy — who 
 would have their rights, their virtues respected, and their 
 mental and moral capabilities appreciated and improved 
 — will not assist -in destroying that beautiful system of 
 Christianity, which has given them this elevation, and 
 which alone supports it. Neither will they give their as- 
 Bistance or countenance to those who are engaged in this 
 blind and mad work of destruction. At ler.st no femals 
 will pursue this suicidal policy, but she who prefers abase- 
 ment, slavery and infamy, to virtue, dignity and an hon- 
 orable equality with rnan — but she who chooses the dark- 
 ness, ignorance, and the licentiousness of barbarism, to 
 the light, elevation and modesty of civilization. 
 
106 RELIGIOUS OPINIONS. 
 
 Compose a book containing the most perfect code 
 of morals of which the human mind can conceive? 
 Could such men have written such a volume? 
 No. The New Testament must have been w.nt- 
 ten, then, by men of virtue and integrity — men 
 who felt the value of its instructions. And cer- 
 tainly men of this character would not deliber- 
 ately pen what they knew to be false ! Thus 
 iho very existence of the New Testament among 
 as, is one of the most convincing proofs of its 
 truth.* 
 
 ♦ Tiiere are two works lately published upon the evi- 
 dences of Christianity, which I would especially recom- 
 mend to youth, as of immense value, viz.— "An Argu- 
 ment for Christianity," by I. D. Williamson, and " Chris- 
 tianity against Infidehty,'' by T. B. Thayer. 
 
CHAPTER XI. i 
 
 TREATMENT OP RELIGIOUS ERROR. 
 
 Mankind have been created with powers of 
 mind, so diversified, that the variety of opinions 
 upon subjects relating to religion, is not a matter 
 of astonishment. It would be far more surprising, 
 when we reflect upon the various d egrees of knowl- 
 edge possessed by mankind, were they all to en- 
 tertain precisely the same views. This disparity 
 of opinion existing, I deem it of some importance 
 to make a few suggestions, in regard to the treat- 
 ment of those who differ from you in religious 
 sentiment. 
 
 In the first place, let it be remembered, that by 
 the law of nature, others have the same unaliena- 
 ble right to differ from you in opinion, that you 
 have to dissent from them. And in this land ot 
 religious freedom, the liberty of entertaining and 
 defending such religious sentiments as they deem 
 proper, without injury to their rights, privileges 
 or immunities, is guarantied to all its citizens. 
 
 107 
 
lOS THLATMiNT OF KELIGIOUS LRHOK. 
 
 It is both proper and necessary that you should 
 observe the letter and spirit of these nalurfil and 
 political laws — they should form the basis upon 
 which you found the principles of your emotions 
 and actions towards your religious opposers. — 
 Never, therefore, disparage, despise, ill-treat, or 
 calumniate any of your fellow-beings, on account 
 cf their religious views, if you have reason to be- ' 
 lieve that they are sincere. Such conduct vio- 
 lates the principles of equity and uprightness, and 
 those who are guilty of it, have no just claims 
 to manhood or Christianity. Hypocrisy of every 
 form and feature, it is your duty to despise and 
 discountenance, in a decided and proper manner — 
 but sincerity^ however absurd its object, should 
 ever be respected. 
 
 Withhold not the name of Christian^ from any 
 sect who believe in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. 
 This concession is called for by truth, and by that 
 chanty and urbanity which denominations, believ- 
 ing in the same God, the same Saviour, and the 
 same Bible, should ever exhibit towards each 
 other. And it is an incentive to this practice, 
 and a pleasing reflection, that in every class of 
 professing Christians, there are many — very many 
 — who possess the true spirit of Christ. 
 
 Avoid also attributing to any sect, doctrines or 
 principles which they deny. They should be al- 
 lowed to possess the right — which you claim for 
 yourself — of stating their own sentiments, and the 
 grounds upon which they rest them — and iat 
 
TREATMENT O RELIGIOUS ERROR. 109 
 
 these sentiments, and uone olher, should ihey be 
 held accountable. 
 
 Never judge of the character of a whole sect, 
 or of the influence of its doctrines, by the conduct 
 of a few of its adherents. From the imperfec- 
 tions of human nature, all are liable to err, al- 
 though possessing the purest principles. Even 
 the chief of the disciples of Christ once denied 
 his Master. Judge of every man's character, by 
 his own personal conduct, and not by the conduct 
 of another. And decide upon the influence of 
 doctrines by their general effects upon their be- 
 lievers. 
 
 It is a natural and laudable wish, to induce 
 others to adopt our peculiar religious opinion?, 
 but to accomplish this end, certain precautions 
 must be observed. You must avoid ridiculing 
 those whose views you would change. This is a 
 favorite measure with many public advocates of 
 religion ; but they who resort to it, are not the 
 most successful in winning adherents to their 
 doctrines. Ridicule is a dangerous weapon — it 
 is a two-edged sword, and can be wielded as skil- 
 fully by the advocate of error, as by him who 
 •would build up truth. Ridicule seldom reaches 
 the judgment to convince it of error; but it inva- 
 riably wounds the feelings and upholds the preju- 
 dices of those against whom it is levelled. It is 
 one thing, to expose the fallacies of erroneous 
 sentiments in a plain, candid and forcible manner, 
 but another, and different thing, to ridicule those 
 10 
 
110 TREAT.MF.M ut KtLlGIOUS ERROR. 
 
 who aie so unt'ortunate as to entertain them. By 
 pursuing the former course, you can hope to suc- 
 reetl in changinij tlie opinions of tho-e you ad- 
 dress ] but if you fail, you can nut be successful 
 in any case by adopting the latter. 
 
 When speaking to religious opposers, or oj 
 them, never indulge in harsh epithets. Instead 
 of saying that people are "liars." or "fools" or 
 "destitute of common sense," it is much more 
 polite and Christian-like, to say simply, thai 
 they are, or may be mistaken. "No person was 
 ever reclaimed from error, by being insulted or 
 reproached." Harsh epithets can not convince 
 an individual of the falsity of his opinions; but 
 they can, and will arouse his anger, steel him 
 against conviction, and confirm him in his errors. 
 
 In all religious discussions, whether public or 
 private, never display ill-temper. This would be 
 improper — it would exhibit a lack of courtesy and 
 of a Christian spirit — and it would give an op- 
 poser a decided advantage over you. To give 
 reason and judgment that full sway which is so 
 requisite in controversy, the ; assions should be 
 kept in entire subjection. 
 
 In a mixed company, of whom any are stran- 
 gers to you, be cautious of what you say in regard 
 to sentiments which you deem to be erroneous. 
 These sentiments may be believed by some in 
 your presence ; and a harsh word or an ungen- 
 erous epithet, may not only prejudice them against 
 yourself, but also against the sect to which you 
 
TREATMENT OF RELIGIOUS ERROR. Ill 
 
 belong and the doctrine you profess — and this 
 too, to an extent which it would be difficult to 
 overcome, even by the power of truth. 
 
 In all your conversation and intercourse with 
 those of different religious sentiments — in all your 
 efforts to convince them of their errors — let your 
 manner be characterized by gentleness, kindness 
 and the most friendly emotions. Too much care 
 and attention can not be bestowed on this subject. 
 Indicate by your spirit and conduct, that you re- 
 spect and love them, whatever you may think of 
 their errors- -let them perceive that you are inter- 
 ested in their welfare, and that you only desire 
 to change their views, that you may enhance their 
 happiness. I care not how strong are the argu- 
 ments you call to your aid, if they are but cloth- 
 ed in the language of kindness and respect. — 
 Kindness has an influence in convincing opposers, 
 ten thousand times more powerful than sarcasm, 
 ridicule or contempt. There was much true phi- 
 losophy in the remark of the little girl. She was 
 asked — "how is it that every body loves you V 
 " I don't know," she replied, " except it is because 
 I love every body." This was the real secret. 
 An emotion of kindness evinced towards those 
 whom you would affect, will invariably awaken a 
 similar feeling in their bosoms towards you. The 
 icy bulwarks of prejudice can be melted dowa 
 by the warm rays of love and friendship — and 
 reasonable, well-applied arguments, can then do 
 their work effectually in eradicating error. In 
 
112 TREATMENT OF RELIGI0D8 ERROR. 
 
 fine, iu this respect, as in all others, follow impli- 
 citly the Saviour's golden rule — " Do unto others, 
 as ye would that others should do unto you." 
 
 It may be proper to add liere, a few liints in re- 
 gard to the time and place of manifesting your 
 peculiar religious views. There are some peo- 
 ple who are in the constant habit of obtruding 
 their sentiments upon the notice of others. At 
 home or abroad — in the stage-coacli, the steam- 
 boat, the bar-room or the street — they are ever 
 proclaiming and insisting upon the peculiarities 
 of their doctrines, , for the purpose of raising a 
 flame of controversy. I do not say this of any 
 one sect — for, there are, undoubtedly, those in all 
 denominations, who are amenable to this charge. 
 The practice is exceedingly unpleasant, as well 
 as ungentlemanly. Circumstances and occasions 
 may frequently occur, wherein it is more proper 
 to remain silent, than to urge your religious te- 
 nets. You can all conceive of such cases. I am 
 far from desiring you to cover up, or in any way 
 conceal your sentiments, when it is proper to ex- 
 press them. I would rather urge you firmly and 
 fearlessly to declare and maintain your opinions, 
 whenever such a course is distinctly called for. 
 But I would have you exercise prudence as to the 
 lime, place and circumstances. Your good sense 
 and the rules of propriety, will dictate when it 
 would be proper or improper — polite or rude — to 
 express your religious views, and enter into a con- 
 troversy to maintain th^m. It may be proper to 
 
TREATMENT OF RELIGIOUS ERROR. 113 
 
 io SO in all those public places above enumerated, 
 iHider very peculiar circumstances — but such in- 
 Btances are exceedingly rare. I repeat, let pru- 
 dence and judgment be your guides in relation 
 to this subject, and you will hardly errn 
 9* 
 
A VOICE TO YOUNG MEN. 
 
CHAPTER I. i 
 
 INTRODUCTION. 
 
 The station in society occupied by young men, 
 is one of commanding importance and deep re- 
 sponsibility. In the course of nature and by the 
 usages of mankind, to those who are now young 
 men, must soon be committed in trust, under 
 Providence, all the important interests of commu- 
 nity. If the institutions of our country — its civil 
 and religious freedom — the numerous advantages 
 and facilities which it affords for the improvement 
 f mankind in useful knowledge — are to be pre- 
 served and perpetuated, it must be mainly through 
 their exertions. Upon their arm the nation de- 
 pends to repel the foreign foe, and to quell the 
 spirit of domestic discord. They will soon com- 
 pose our legislative and other deliberative coun- 
 cils. It will speedily devolve upon them to enact 
 laws and to execute them. In fine, ere long, they 
 must give tone to our national voice and national 
 character. When the infamous Catalin? con- 
 spired to wrest from Rome her liberf.ie*, his first 
 
 117 
 
118 INTRODUCTION. 
 
 effort AVis to corrupt the youn^ men ; well know- 
 ing thai when they became ripe for misrule, the 
 work of desecrating the altar of Liberty, cculd 
 easily be accomplished. And true it is, that as 
 the young men of a nation are enlightened and 
 virtuous, or^corrupt and ignorant, so are the p/os- 
 pects of its future prosperity, or of its speedy 
 overthrow and ruin. How necessary that young 
 men should become aware of the important re- 
 sponsibilities resting upon them, and of the ne- 
 cessity of qualifying themselves to discharge 
 them faithfully ? 
 
 The condition of young men, in regard to their 
 future character, is much more perilous than that 
 of the other sex. Being brought by their occu- 
 pations, in frequent contact with the unprincipled 
 and profligate, they are subject to influences ex- 
 tremely deleterious, and to temptations of a se- 
 ducing and dangerous character. Absorbed in 
 the pursuits for pleasure, or in the strife for wealth 
 or fame, they are liable to be led into a careless- 
 ness as to the means employe^ to secure their 
 ends. Blindfolded by passion, interest, or a thirst 
 for enjoyment, thousands rush headlong into those 
 vicious practices that plunge their votaries into 
 the deep vortex of wretchedness. And yet there 
 is a safe path, open for all to pursue, which will 
 most certainly lead to respectability, enjoyment 
 and peace — a path which none ever yet followed, 
 without escaping many of the evils of life, and 
 experiencing a prosperity, and an amount of hap- 
 
SELECTION OF ASSOCIATES. 119 
 
 piness which are av anting to all who pursue a 
 contrary course. 
 
 Young men, will you listen, while I endeavor 
 to point out that path, and lay before you some of 
 the inducements which call upon you to walk 
 therein ? While I may not have time or space to 
 go over the whole ground pertaining to your duty 
 and interests, still I will engage to bring forward 
 motives sufficiently powerful to induce every wise 
 and discreet young man, to be cautious and watch- 
 ful, as to the measures he adopts to secure pros- 
 perity and enjoyment. Your attention is first so- 
 licited to — 
 
 THE SELECTION OF COMPANIONS. 
 
 Man is by nature a social being. He delights 
 to mingle with his race, and to interchange senti- 
 ments and offices of friendship and kindness. — 
 This disposition is peculiarly evinced by the 
 young. Every young man selects some one or 
 more of those who are of his rank and condition, 
 to become his companions or associates. At every 
 opportunity, he seeks their company, to find that 
 enjoyment which he supposes he would fail to 
 obtain by mingling with others. 
 
 The influence exercised by the companions 
 with whom you intimately associate, will be pow- 
 erful and enduring. " Show me your company, 
 and I will show you your character," is an old 
 adage and true. The character of the associates 
 With whom you mingle, will evince to a good de- 
 
120 SELti.riON OF ASSOCIATES. 
 
 gree, your inclinations, habits and principles. — 
 Young men often are not aware, how sensibly 
 their reputation is influenced by their compan- 
 ions. Do you associate with the vicious, the 
 profligate, the intemperate ? You must not be 
 surprised if community attribute to you, propen- 
 sities of a like character. What other conclu- 
 sion can they draw ? You never prefer the com- 
 pany of one man to that of another, without there 
 is something more pleasing to you in his habits 
 or principles. If you prefer the society of the 
 ignorant and corrupt, to that of the enlightened 
 and virtuous, there is no indication more certain, 
 that your inclinations and tastes tend more pow- 
 erfully to the characteristics of the former, than 
 to those of the latter. However dissimilar, at 
 first, may be your tastes, habits and principles, by 
 mingling constantly in the company of certain 
 individuals, you insensibly, yet unavoidably, lose 
 your distinctive characteristics, and absorb theirs. 
 As the stream always partakes of tiie qualities of 
 the soil through which it runs, so the principles 
 and habits of youth, become invariably tinctured 
 by the character of the company in which they 
 mingle. 
 
 Great caution, therefore, is necessary in regard 
 to your associates. You should not view this as 
 a subject unworthy a thought or an exertion. — 
 From among your acquaintance, you should se- 
 lect those with whom youw^ould associate. And 
 in this choice, let wisdom and discretion be your 
 
SELECTION OF ASSOCIATES. 121" 
 
 guides. Remember that you are creatures of im- 
 itation, and that the force of example is immense, 
 in forming your character. If you err in your 
 selections — or if, from choice, you associate with 
 he profligate and debased — your condition is 
 ruly critical. Allowing that your character at 
 he commencement of the intimacy, is much bet- 
 er than theirs, bow long can it remain so ? It is 
 aext to impossible for you to raise them to your 
 elevation in worth, were you disposed so to do. — • 
 But tlie effect of your intercourse with them, will 
 be the reverse. You will be debased to their 
 level — you will become saturated with their evil 
 propensities — you will imitate their vicious prac- 
 tices — be wedded to their corruptions, and finally, 
 will be led into the degradation and ruin which 
 is the certain result of dissipation and crime. 
 
 By associating with the vicious, you assume 
 their character, are weighed by their worth, and 
 esteemed by their value, in the eyes of commu- 
 nity. You probably recollect the story of the 
 dog Tray, and of the difficulties that befel him, 
 though innocent, from mingling in bad company. 
 That fable is more frequently enacted in real 
 jife, than many would suppose. But young men 
 do not often become rid of evil companions, at as 
 cheap a rate as poor Tray. At the expense of 
 one flogging he abandoned the gang forever. — 
 But although youth experience many evil conse- 
 quences from their corrupt associates, yet it too 
 frequently happens, that they become so tinctured 
 11 
 
128 seLFCTION OF AS80CIATCB. 
 
 with the love of low and vicious company, and 
 their sinful practices, that again and again do 
 they return smarting to their embrace. Strong 
 and more strong grow the chains that bind them 
 to the servitude of evil desires. Vices upon which 
 they first looked with horror, gradually become 
 less repulsive in their appearance, until they final- 
 ly fall helpless and entirely into the slavery of 
 their grasp. 
 
 When once you embrace the company of the 
 profligate, it will be difficult to dissever the con- 
 nexion. They will exert every cfi'ort to induce 
 you to continue in bondage with them. All ex- 
 ertion on your part to reform, will be met by their 
 combined ridicule and opposition. This, added 
 to the strong chains of sinful habits, will render 
 your return to virtue, a work of extreme diffi- 
 culty. Thus by selecting vicious companions, 
 there will be an hundred chances to one, against 
 your reformation, your success in business, or your 
 obtaining a respectable character — but the great 
 probability is, that you will experience the fate"" 
 predicted by the wise man — " the companion Oi 
 fools shall be destroyed." You should believe it 
 as an immutable truth, that by becoming the com- 
 panion of the foolish and corrupt, you will event- 
 ually lose your virtuous and upright principles, 
 and with them will be destroyed health, reputa- 
 tion, peace and happiness ! 
 
 With these dangers visibly before them, youiig 
 nen of discretion and forethought, will perce'To 
 
SELECTION OP ASSOCIATES. 123 
 
 the necessity of selecting such associates only, as 
 are virtuous and intelligent. In making; your 
 choice, you should not be influenced by ouLward 
 show, or circumstance ; by pride, or fasliion, or 
 popularity — you should not be influenced so much 
 by condition, as by the qualification. The real 
 difference in the value of men, arises not from 
 their circumstances, but in superiority of mind, 
 purity of morals, and amiability of disposition. — 
 All are worthy to become your associates who are 
 virtuous, amiable and intelligent. Such choose, 
 and none others. 
 
 By mingling and associating with people of 
 these qualifications, you can not fail of being high- 
 ly benefited. Your natural propensity of imita- 
 tion — the influence, of their conversation, habits, 
 manners and general demeanor — all become pow- 
 erful causes operating upon your character and 
 forming it to virtue and usefulness. In the pre- 
 sence of such individuals, all incentives to vice 
 will be wanting — virtue, religion and useful 
 knowledge will appear in their true and lovely 
 forms — and trains of thought, action and habit, 
 will be laid, that will lead to the most valuable 
 results. An intimacy with people of good char- 
 acter, will elevate you in the estimation of so- 
 ciety. Their virtues, to a considerable extent, 
 will be considered yours. Confidence will be re- 
 posed in you — assistance rendered you — and the 
 good wishes of your fellow-beings will rest upon 
 you. In fine, the benefits flowing from the choice 
 
124 SELtCTION OF ASSOCIATES. 
 
 of virtuous and enlightened associates, are all 
 the reverse of the evils growing out of a selec- 
 tion of those who are vicious. 
 
 Be cautions to avoid deception in this matter. 
 Gay, sociable, pleasant manners, are not alwayi 
 the indication of a pure heart, or of virtuous prin- 
 ciples. Beneath an agreeable exterior, often lurk 
 low, vulgar tastes, vicious propensities and profli- 
 gate habits. Become the associate of no one 
 with whose character you are not fully acquaint- 
 ed. Form no intimncies, and allow none until 
 you are perfectly satisfied upon this point. This 
 is the only safe course you can adopt. 
 
 Listen cheerfully to the advice of parents and 
 guardians, in regard to your associates. By their 
 superior experience and wisdom, they possess a 
 clearer insight into human character than you can 
 have obtained; and they are enabled to look be- 
 yond the exterior appearance and accomplish- 
 ments, and comprehend to a good degree, the 
 real character of youth. Their counsel will be 
 of essential benetit in aiding you to avoid the com- 
 panionship of the vicious, and in selecting for 
 your intimacies, those who've example v.ill be of 
 .a virtuous and salutary character. 
 
CHAPTER II. 
 
 TEMPTATIONS. 
 
 There are many vicious practices which, ar- 
 rayed in deceitful garbs, present themselves to 
 young men, and frequently allure them to ruin. 
 These temptations throng around the young in 
 their most alluring forms, and invite them to par- 
 ticipate in what they would cause you to believe 
 are their enjoyments. But, young men, beware 
 of them. — beware ! Although they appear before 
 you in the garb of friendship — although they ad- 
 dress you in sweet and fascinating tones — yet, ia 
 reality, they are your foes — ^your most bitter, fatal, 
 deadly enemies ! They come to you under the 
 specious pretence of improving your condition, 
 of affording you enjoyment, of leading you into 
 those fair and beautiful fields of pleasure, which 
 are spread out invitingly before you. But, mark 
 me ! all their pretences are false — all their promises 
 are baseless and empty — and those gorgeous pic- 
 tures which they so vividly paint to your glowing 
 imagination, are as illusory and vain, as the fleet- 
 11* 125 
 
126' TEMPTATIONS. 
 
 ing visions of the midnight dream. In their 
 erery attempt to bestow enjoyment upon you, 
 their highest success can be but a fitful excite- 
 ment, which will inflict a real sting, a real poison, 
 to your true happiness and peace. Were these 
 temptations to present themselves in their true 
 colors — were their real features visible — youth 
 would reject them instantly. { 
 
 " Vice is a monster of so frightful mcin, 
 As, to be hated, needs but to be seen." 
 
 When vice is seen in its real nature and results, 
 it is universally hated. It is only by the disguise 
 which temptations assume, the tinsel trappings 
 with which they conceal their hideous features, 
 that they are enabled to deceive any. When 
 young men see these temptations in the grosser 
 aspects they assume to their confirmed victims, or 
 discover their ulterior and certain results, they 
 start back with disgust and horror. The youth 
 who beholds the drunkard rolling in the mire, and 
 hears his children cry for bread — or sees the prof- 
 ligate bloated with disease, or the thief in prison, 
 or the murderer upon the gallows — has no inclina- 
 tion to be degraded to these conditions ; and has 
 no apprehension that such will ever be his cir- 
 cumstances. And such, indeed, would never be 
 his condition, were he but considerately to trace 
 these disastrous results back to their real origin. 
 But herein lies the danger of youth. It is diffi- 
 cult to convince the young men, that harmless 
 temptations, as he imagines them, which are so 
 
TEMPTATIONS. 121 
 
 pleasing and enticing to his imagination, are liie 
 cause of so much pain, and wretchedness, and 
 ruin. I beseech all candid young men to be con- 
 sistent upon this subject. If you would know 
 the real effect of giving way to early, and even 
 trivial temptations, go and question the miserable 
 victims of vice. Amid groans of anguish and 
 unavailing regrets, they will trace to you the his- 
 tory of their career, recorded in the annals of in- 
 famy and shame. They will lead you back, step 
 by step, the downward road they pursued. They 
 will assure you, that the vices which eventually 
 plunged them into ruin, presented themseh'^es to 
 their view, in youth, in the same pleasing colors, 
 with the same harmless, inoffensive air, that they 
 now appear to you. They believed these lying, 
 deceitful appearances — they followed the gilded 
 shadows — they plunged deep into the vortex of 
 misnamed pleasure, and, ere long, they awoke 
 involved in the severest anguish and despair ! 
 
 Young men, will you not take warning by the 
 living records of crime, which are every where 
 scattered around ? Will you wisely scrutinize 
 the temptations that beset you, and perceive their 
 ruinous effects, and withstand them? Or will 
 you give way to their fascinations, and recklessly 
 rush onward in the foolharoy career, run by so 
 many of your race, to awaken to the same degra- 
 dation and anguish? Be not so vain as to flatter 
 yourself that you can indulge in sinful practices, 
 and avoid those dreadful consequences which 
 
128 TKMPTAT10N3. 
 
 they have invariably entailed upon all who have 
 been guilty of them. By what reasonable rule 
 can ^•'ou calculate that the laws of God, of nature, 
 and of man, will change their mode of operation, 
 and relent in their principles and exactions, in 
 your behalf, when, to all others they are unde- 
 viatingly and rigidly certain? Indulge not, for a 
 moment, these ignorant suppositions. Like causes 
 must produce like effects. If by giving way to 
 early temptations, others have rapidly become in- 
 volved in wretchedness and ruin as you well 
 know, the same fate unavoidably awaits you, if 
 you imitate their example. 
 
 I will briefly notice a few of the temptations 
 by which young men are liable to be beset. 
 
 Gambling is a temptation to which young men 
 are exposed. This practice is unjust. It is un- 
 just to take the property of another, without re- 
 turning a proper equivalent therefor — it amounts 
 to robbery ; this the gamester does. Gambling 
 is unlawful. No just law can sanction or tolerate 
 it. Laws were passed against it, as early as the 
 reign of Q,ueen Anne, of England. And from 
 that period to the present, in all well regulated 
 communities, this practice has been forbidden by 
 law. It is an unprofitable occupation. " It is 
 certain," says Locke, "that gaming leaves no 
 satisfaction behind it, to those who reflect when 
 it is over ; and it no way profits either body or 
 mind. As to their estate?, if it strike so deep as 
 to concern them, it is a trade, then, and not a 
 
TEMPTATIONS. 12& 
 
 recreation, wherein few thrive ; and, at best, a 
 thriving gamester has but a poor trade of it, who 
 fills his pockets at the price of his reputation." 
 
 Gambling is opposed to industry. Those who 
 occasionally win sums of money by the turn of a 
 card, or the throw of a die, soon acquire a dis- 
 taste to the slower routine of acquiring property 
 by industrious occupation. It begets in them a 
 feverish desire to become Avealthy in a moment, 
 which spurns a more tardy yet surer process. 
 
 Gambling is ruinous in all its tendencies and 
 consequences. It is ruinous to character. The 
 gamester is despised by the virtuous and enlight- 
 ened, and suspected even by his associates. To 
 be connected with him, or to associate with him, 
 is a disgrace, and his society is shunned by all 
 those who would be considered respectable. He 
 is distrusted by all; for it is consistently deemed 
 probable, that he who will filch from another his 
 lawful property, at the gaming table, will not 
 hesitate to take any other measures, howevcF 
 vicious or unlawful, to accomplish the same ob- 
 ject. It is ruinous to morals. Its tendencies 
 are to blunt the sensibilities as to those nice dis- 
 tinctions of right and wrong, so necessary to pre- 
 serve purity of morals. The gamester soon loses 
 all regard for truth, honesty and candor, and is 
 compelled to resort to falsehood and deception to 
 obtain his object. This pernicious practice is 
 the fruitful source of every conceivable vice and 
 crime. Its natural fruit is theft, robbery, murder, 
 
130 TEMPTATIONS. 
 
 suicide, forgery, perjury, intemperance, and every 
 species of licentiousness and sin. Giimlding is 
 ruinous to property. How many are reduced by 
 it from aflluence to poverty — how many wilh tl»e 
 imbecility of idiots, throw away, in a sinjjle 
 night, the earnings of years of industry ! The 
 gamester can make nc safe calculations as to 
 property. He may possess a fortune this year, 
 and the next, be clothed in the beggar's rags. 
 The chances that the latter will be his condition, 
 are vastly the most numerous. Where one game- 
 ster dies in affluence, a thousand end their days 
 in poverty. 
 
 Tiiis vice is probably carried to a greater excess 
 m France than in any other country; and there 
 its true effects are discovered. Its wretched vic- 
 tmis are bound in slavery to its fascinations, un- 
 til stripped of all their possessions ; and then, in 
 the phrenzied moment of despair, terminate their 
 existence by suicide, or commit some desperate 
 act which sends them to the prison, and perhaps 
 the guillotme. 
 
 I warn young men to avoid this vice as they 
 value life, character and contentment. Of all 
 miserable mortals, the gambler is among the 
 most wretched. His mind is constantly stretched 
 upon the rack of uncertainty, and filled with the 
 most fearful forebodings. Avoid a company ot 
 gamblers as you would a den of thieves. Look 
 upon the gaming-table as the door which leads to 
 certain disgrace, poverty and wo ! 
 
TEMPTATIONS. ' l3i 
 
 Intemperance, is anoiher temptalioii that assails 
 young men. The evils of this vice, are now so 
 frequently and ably elucidated, that a few remarks 
 from me can only be necessary. The fatal effects 
 of intemperance, are written out in pictures hor- 
 ridly true and vivid, in every town and hamlet 
 throughout our country. Broken fortunes, blast- 
 ed anticipations, ruined health, disgrace, hunger, 
 want, and sufferisg in every shape, are the pro- 
 liiic fruits of this wretched habit. 
 
 Young men, have you any desire to be involved 
 in these miserable circumstances ? — do you wish 
 for degradation and want? I anticipate your re- 
 ply. You start back with horror, and cry "No I 
 God forbid I" And how do you expect to avoid 
 them ? By following in precisely the same path 
 that involved others in their toils ? — by imitating 
 that sot who in youth drank whenever occasion 
 offered? Your good sense will dictate the danger 
 of such a course. There is one infallible rule — 
 and but one— by following which, every young 
 mail may be certain of avoiding intemperance, 
 and all the long catalogue of evils that invariably 
 ollow in its train — and that is, to abstain entirely 
 from all drinks, as a beverage, that possess power 
 to intoxicate, in all places, and under every cir- 
 cumstance. Tins is your only safe-guard! 
 Observe this rule faithfully, and you are safe — 
 you are entirely beyond the reach of the monster 
 intemperance, and its dreadful consequences. 
 But break over this rule, however slightly, and 
 
3 32 TEMPTATIONS. 
 
 you are exposed to great danger. If you become 
 what is called "the temperate drinker" — if you 
 indulge occasionally in the intoxicating draugiit — 
 you have fairly set out on the high road to intem- 
 perance; you have overstepped the only line of 
 perfect safety, and have no assurance, no guar- 
 anty, that you will not become a miserable, de- 
 graded sot ! " But cannot I govern and restrain 
 myself within the bounds of moderation ?" says 
 the temperate drinker. This is precisely the 
 question asked by every drunkard, while yet 
 drinking but temperately ; and the answer can be 
 read in the bloated visage, broken constitution, 
 and ruined character — in the poverty, and want, 
 and rags of their wretched families ! Allhougli 
 all temperate drinkers do not become iiabitual 
 drunkards, yet is quite certain that no man can 
 become intemperate, without first being a mod- 
 erate drinker. Intemperance is not the work of 
 a moment. Every drunkard in the land, was 
 first a temperate drinker; and he then felt as cer- 
 tain that he would never become the beastly slave 
 of intoxication, as the most confident youth who 
 reads these lines. But of what avail was his 
 confidence ? While he yet felt strong in his own 
 power of restraint and resistance, habit was in- 
 sidiously winding its massive chains around him, 
 binding all his noble, and manly, and god-like 
 powers in servitude, and, ere long, he sunk the 
 willing slave of one of the most cruel task-mas- 
 ters that ever scourged the human race ! Young 
 
TEMPTATIONS. 133 
 
 man. listen to me ! and if to any thing in these 
 chapters you give heed, I pray you follow the ad- 
 vice I now enjoin upon you. Adopt it as one of 
 the inflexible principles of your conduct, to avoid 
 partaking tho inebriating draught,* under any 
 circumstances whatever ! Then you are perfect- 
 ly secure. But, I repeat, take any other course, 
 and you at once become liable to all the horrors 
 of intemperance. In avoiding an admitted evil 
 of immense magnitude, why not take the safe 
 and certain path, rather than the one that is un- 
 safe and uncertain? 
 
 Avoid, also, as far as possible, the haunts of 
 intemperance, and the company of the habitual 
 drinkers of intoxicating liquor, lest you become 
 ensnared by their evil examples. You should 
 give no countenance to the custom of partaking 
 of intoxicating drinks, even moderately ; but 
 should bring both your example and influence to 
 bear against a practice so fraught with evil. 
 
 Dishonesty is anotiier temptation that besets 
 the pathway of young men. The desire for 
 wealth becomes, in many, so absorbing and un- 
 controlled, that they violate all justice, honesty 
 and virtue, to gratify it. In your business trans 
 actions, many temptations will beset you to de- 
 fraud your neighbor of that which is honestly his. 
 These temptations you must summon all your 
 
 ' Except where administered as a medicine in case of 
 sickness. 
 
 12 
 
134 
 
 TEMPTATIONS. 
 
 energies lo withstand. Adopt it as your motto 
 through life, to "render unto all their just dues." 
 There never was a maxim more true, than that 
 "honesty is the best policy." It should be en- 
 graven deeply upon the heart of every young 
 man. Whenever temptations to be fraudulent 
 ayse, let them be repelled by the truth of this say- 
 ing. Let it accompany and guide you, and it 
 will keep you in the path of rectitude, respecta- 
 bility and peace. In being dishonest, you may, 
 in some cases, obtain more properly than you 
 otherwise would. But remember that every 
 farthing you secure in this dishonorable manner, 
 instead of making you more wealthy, detracts just 
 so much from your real riches — from your avail- 
 able means to make yourself hapj:)y. Disiionesty, 
 however much it may increase your wealth, w^ill 
 make you poorer in character, poorer in peace, 
 and in every real essential to human enjoyment. 
 True happiness consists in a peaceful and con- 
 tented mind ; and he who possesses these requi- 
 sites to the highest degree, is, indeed, the wealth- 
 iest man ! Can ill gotten riches bestow this en- 
 joyment? As well may you take coals of fire 
 in your bosom, and not be burned. Be cautious 
 to have all your dealings characterized by strict 
 honesty and integrity, and your satisfaction and 
 "peace shall be as a river." 
 
 Another temptation is described in the fifth 
 chapter of Proverbs. Let every young man read 
 tkat chapter. Its declarations are words of truth 
 
TEMPTATIONS. 135 
 
 and soberness. Let them be believed and ad- 
 hered to, and never permitted to escape from your 
 memory. So shall you be saved from deep deg- 
 radation and wo. 
 
 These are a few of the many temptations which 
 beset young men. Guard against them as dead- 
 ly foes to your happiness. Remember that vices 
 assault the young in gangs. Admitone vice, and 
 it will exert all its influence to make way for an- 
 other, and another — increasing in strength as they 
 multiply in numbers, until you fall a prey to every 
 species of iniquity : 
 
 "The first crime passVl, compels us into more, 
 And guilt gro\v3 fate, that was but choice before." 
 
 "With many persons," says D'Argonne, " tho 
 early age of life is passed in sowing in their minds 
 the vices that are most suitable to their inclina- 
 tions ; and the middle age goes on in nourishing 
 and maturing these vices ; and the last age con- 
 cludes in gathering in pain and anguish, the bit- 
 ter fruit of these wretched seeds." The only 
 safe method to prevent reaping this wretched crop 
 n old age, is to avoid sowing the seed in youth. 
 jCt the seed you now plant in the moral soil, be 
 emperance, honesty and virtue, and in advanced 
 ears, they will afford you a harvest of respecta- 
 •aility and ease. 
 
CHAPTER III. 
 
 THE HABITS. 
 
 Habit is the cherishing of certain emotions and 
 the practicingof certain actions, until they become 
 a second nature. It has justly been said that 
 " man is a bundle of habits." From early infan- 
 cy to mature manhood, he is forming habits which 
 will more or less influence his enjoyments through 
 life. Youth, in this respect, is a most important 
 period. When the young man has arrived at 
 years of reflection, and has become capable of 
 meditating seriously on his future plans, then is 
 the favorable time, when the mind is still tender 
 and pliable, to correct improper habits formed in 
 childhood, and to lay the foundation for those 
 useful ones, that will tend greatly to his future 
 prosperity. 
 
 That it is all-important for young men to look 
 well to the habits they are now forming, is a po- 
 sition so evident, that little exertion is necessary 
 to establish it. What enabled Franklin, the poor 
 printer-boy, to arrive to an eminence which none 
 in modern ages have surpassed? It was the 
 
 136 
 
TUE HABITS. 137 
 
 acquisition in iiis youth, of habits of industry, 
 economy, perseverance, and patient research. 
 Why does one man ascend from obscurity and 
 indigence to fame and wealth, despite all obstruc- 
 tions, wh.-fe another commences life surrounded 
 by every advantage Jhat riches and influential 
 friends can bestow, and yet sinks into insignifi- 
 cance and poverty ! This diversity is mainly 
 caused by the difference in the formation of their 
 habits. The one depended upon his own pow- 
 ers and exertions, and laid the foundation of his 
 prosperity, by acquiring industrious, persevering, 
 and economical habits — the other, relying upon 
 his expected wealth or influential friends, failed 
 to qualify himself for any useful arocation, and 
 loaded himself with habits of indolence, careless- 
 ness, and prodigality. 
 
 Young men can cause their habits to become 
 of whatever character they resolve. Firmly de- 
 termine to be frugal, industrious, and temperate, 
 and you easily become so. A Cesar, a Napoleon, 
 a Washington, a Cicero, a Canning, a Brougham, 
 a Wirt, could never have arrived at their celeb- 
 rity, had they not framed the outlines of their 
 career in youth, and formed habits which ena- 
 bled them to fill up these outlines with so much 
 success. Youthful habits, as was remarked in 
 the preceding chapter, are the seed of a crop 
 which must be reaped in after life. If your seed 
 be of the true kind — if you obtain habits of ac- 
 tivity, perseverance, and economy — your crop 
 12* 
 
138 TU£ HABITS. 
 
 Will be bouniilul and gratifylDg. But if your 
 habits be the reverse, your harvest will be of a 
 corresponding character. 
 
 "Habits are easily formed — especially such as 
 are bad ; and what to-day seems to be a small 
 affair, will soon become fixed, and hold you with 
 the strength of a cable. That same cable, you 
 will recollect, is formed by spinning and twisting 
 one thread at a time ; but when once completed, 
 the proudest ship turns her head towards it, and 
 acknowledges her subjection to its power. Habits 
 of some kind will be formed by every youth. He 
 v;ill have a particular course, in which his time, 
 his employments, his thoughts and feelings will 
 run. Good or bad, these habits soon become a 
 part of himself, and a kind of social nature. Who 
 does not know, that the old man who has occupi- 
 ed a particular corner of the old fire-place, in the 
 old house, for sixty years, may be rendered 
 wretched by a change? Who has not read of 
 the release of the aged prisoner of the Bastile, 
 who entreated that he might again return to his 
 gloomy dungeon, because his habits there formed 
 were so strong that his nature threatened to sink 
 under the attempt to break them up? You will 
 probably find no man of forty, who has not habits 
 ■which he laments, which mar his usefulness, but 
 ■which are so inwoven with his very being, that 
 he cannot break through them. At least he has 
 not the courage to try."* 
 
 ♦Student's Manual. 
 
THE HABITS. 139 
 
 In order to be useful to yourself and your fel- 
 low-beings, it is necessary that you enter upon 
 some profession or cccupatioii. Even the most 
 wealthy, should not be without a definite calling. 
 Riches the most immense, often '- lake wings and 
 fly away" — and when he who is thus dispossess- 
 ed of them, is without an occupation, his condi- 
 tion in such circumstances, is truly deplorable. 
 The occupation or profession, should be chosen 
 in accordance with the abilities, taste, and cir- 
 cumstances of each individual — remembering 
 that all honest and useful employments are alike 
 honorable. It is, however, far better to be a good 
 mechanic or agriculturist, than a poor profession- 
 al man — it is more desirable to be in the respec- 
 table class of the former, than in the lowest grades 
 of the latter. 
 
 The habits necessary to insure success and 
 respectability, are many. I will enumerate a few 
 of the most prominent. 
 
 Industry is one of the most necessary and use- 
 ful of (he habits. Says St. Paul—" This we 
 commanded you, that if any would not work, nei- 
 ther should he eat." It is the first law of our 
 nature, that every true comfort we enjoy, must 
 be purchased by exertion. And it is a law equal- 
 ly well established, that all well directed indus- 
 try, shall receive an ample remuneration in health 
 and vigor. Of all habits that fetter human pow- 
 ers, indolence is the most unmanly and debasing. 
 Every thing around you — the earth, air and wa- 
 
140 THE HABITS. 
 
 ter — the insect, fowl and beast — all exhibit un- 
 tiring industry, and cry out " shame !" against the 
 human being who will suffer his capabilities to 
 stagnate in the sluggish pool of indolence. Of 
 what value is an indolent man to himself or the 
 world ? He is good for nothing, and worse than 
 useless — is a burthen to himself and a pest to so- 
 ciety, and those connected with him. He can not 
 be said to exist — he but vegetates, as the weed of 
 the garden ; and as the weed, he is disrespected 
 through life, and at death is forgotten ! 
 
 '' Go to the ant, thou sluggard : consider her 
 ways and be wise." This little insect furnishes 
 a useful lesson to every man of indolence. With 
 a prudent foresight, she industriously "provideth 
 her meat in the summer, and gathercth her food 
 in the harvest." And when the snows and frosts 
 of Winter arrive, they find her fully provided with 
 comforts to sustain her until the return of Spring. 
 But the indolent man has even less wisdom and 
 foresight than the ant. With him the future is 
 all unprovided for; and in an unexpected hour, 
 want, as an armed man, seizes him in its bony 
 embrace ! As a punishment, God has entailed 
 sickness, imbecility, unhappmess, and premature 
 death, on the indolent. For what purpose were 
 our bodies supplied with joints, sinews, and 
 muscles, but to be exerted in industrious occupa- 
 tion ? 
 
 The benefits arising from habits of industry, 
 are numerous. Industry is the most fruitful 
 
THE HABITS. 141 
 
 source of that highest of bodily enjoyments, 
 heallJu A due exercise of the bodily and mental 
 functions, are prolific sources of earthly happiness. 
 Activity opens streams of enjoyment, that would 
 otherwise be clogged by indolence, and generate 
 discontent and pain. Let the truth settle deep 
 into every mind, that health can not long be en- 
 joyed without industry. It would minister far 
 more to the enjoyment of the man of wealth, to 
 go out with the sturdy woodsman, and make the 
 forest resound with the blows of his axe, or to 
 engage in some other stirring avocation, than re- 
 cline into the Delilahan lap of luxury, to be shorn 
 of his strength and energy, and to resort to nos- 
 trums to support a constitution filled by indolence 
 with the prolific seeds of disease I It is a good 
 proverb, that " we had better wear out than rust 
 out." For this wearing out, as it is termed, is 
 indeed the prolonging of life and health ; but 
 rusting out is a living death. To secure health, 
 individuals of sedentary occupation, should labor 
 or exercise more or less, every day, in the open 
 air.* The correctness of this rule is constantly 
 becoming more and more apparent. " Pray, of 
 what did your brother die?" said the Marquis ot 
 Spinola to Sir Horace Vere. " He died, Sir," 
 replied he, "of having nothing to do.^^ " Alas, 
 Sir," said Spinola, " that is enough to kill any 
 general of us all." The Turks have a proverb, 
 
 ♦See Combe on the Constitution of man— chap, iij 
 ■ec. 7. 
 
142 THE HABIT3. 
 
 that " a husy man is troubled with but one devil ; 
 but the idle man, with a thousand," 
 
 Industry is one of the most certain means of 
 obtaining wealth. Although all industrious men 
 do not become wealthy, yet comparatively few 
 ever arose from indigence to wealth, without this 
 qualification. And in this land of equality, it is 
 the only safe basis upon which to rest your an- 
 ticipations of acquiring property. Making some 
 *• lucky hit," by which a fortune is acquired at 
 once, is a chance that occurs but to a small num- 
 ber; and if you wait in indolence for such an 
 opportunity, you will undoubtedly pass through 
 life in poverty. The greater proportion of the 
 wealthy in this country, acquired their property 
 by assiduous industry. And I repeat, that this 
 is the only proper resource upon which to de- 
 pend to acquire riches. Industry ranks among 
 the best recommendations a young man can pos- 
 sess. He who has this qualification, can not 
 want for employment, assistance, or friends. 
 The industrious youth, whose other habits are 
 good, will always be respected, patronized and 
 encouraged. But indolence, even though con- 
 nected with many good habits, invariably inspires 
 disrespect and disgust. 
 
 Let every young man, then, firmly resolve to 
 establish a habit of industry. With it, he can 
 rationally hope to be almost every thing great 
 and good— to obtain every thing proper, and to 
 enjoy <8very thing consistent with virtue and 
 
THE HABITS, 143 
 
 propriety. But without it, even though he may 
 iulierit wealth, he can rationally anticipate noth- 
 ing but ill health, abasement and Avretchedness. 
 
 Perseverance, is another habit which young 
 men should acquire. — This habit must be long 
 cultivated, before it can be fully obtained. Pa- 
 rents should be aware that a training for it, can 
 profitably be commenced even in childhood. In 
 his infantile undertakings, the child can be in- 
 fluenced to persevere until hi« designs are accom- 
 plished. And in all the doings of youth, pains 
 should be taken to induce them to avoid fickle- 
 ness of purpose, and to infuse into their minds, 
 a spirit of unwearied perseverance. This will 
 soon grow into a habit, the beneficial influences 
 of which will be realized through life. 
 
 A habit of perseverance well adhered to, will 
 accomplish the most surprising results. Through 
 its influence, Napoleon was enabled to scale 
 " the cloud-clapped Alps" — Franklin to become 
 one of the eminent philosophers of the world — 
 and Clinton to accomplish one of the most splen- 
 did projects of modern ages. The beautiful 
 islands of the Pacific are but immense coraZ 
 reefs, raised from unknown depths, by the per 
 severance of minute insects, who carry but one 
 grain of sand at a time. It is related of the eel 
 ebrated conqueror, Timour the Tartar, that upoi) 
 an occasion of adverse fortune, he was compelled 
 to secrete himself from his pursuers in a ruined 
 building.— While in this condition, as he was? 
 
144 THE HABITS. 
 
 ruminating upon liis ill fortune, he espied an 
 ant, sedulously engnged in efforts to carry a ker- 
 nel of grain, larger than itself, up a high wall. 
 For a long time its efforts were unavailing. Still 
 at every defeat, would it renew its exertions 
 with unabated energy and perseverance. Sixty- 
 nine times did it essay to perform this feat, and 
 and as often failed. But the seventieth lime," 
 the industrious insect succeeded in gaining the 
 top of the wall wiiii its prize. " The sight," 
 said the conqueror, "gave me courage at the mo- 
 ment, and I have never forgotten the lesson it 
 conveyed." 
 
 The example of the ant, is worthy of all imi- 
 tation. Let your plans be deliberately and ma- 
 turely formed — see that they are honest and hon- 
 orable — and then let " Perseverance" be your 
 watchword, and you will seldom fail of success. 
 " I can't," never accomplished any thing. " Col. 
 Miller," said Gen. Ripley, at the battle of Niag- 
 ara, " can you carry that battery ?" " Gen. Rip- 
 ley, I will try !" was the laconic reply. At the 
 head of his gallant regiment, he tried, and by uni- 
 ting bravery with perseverance, succeeded in re- 
 pulsing the foe and carrying the battery. " I 
 will try," has accomplished wonders in the world. 
 When the habit of perseverance stands by you, 
 as a handmaid, to ler.d her assistance, you can 
 safely calculate upon a favorable result in all 
 your reasonable operations ; but without this de- 
 cirable qualification, you may commence a thou- 
 
THE HABITS. 145 
 
 fiand projects, and fail in all. When a proper 
 business is fairly undertaken, or a resolution 
 formed, persevere in its pursuit — bend all th« 
 energies of your mind to its service, and let no 
 common inducement swerve you into another 
 track. " A young man who had wasted his pat- 
 rimony by profligacy, whilst standing, one day, 
 on the brow of a precipice from which he had 
 determined to throw himself, formed the sudden 
 resolution to regain what he had lost. The pur- 
 pose thus formed, was kept and persevered in j 
 and though he began by shovelling a load of 
 coal into a cellar, for which he only received 
 twelve and a half cents, yet he proceeded from 
 one step to another, till he more than recovered 
 his lost possessions, and died worth sixty thousand 
 pounds sterling." 
 
 A well directed perseverance in a laudable de- 
 termination, will insure success against many 
 disadvantages. It will overcome obscurity of 
 birth, the want of fortune, and of wealthy and 
 influential friends. A case in point, occurred 
 under the observation of the writer. I remem- 
 ber well that antiquated school-house, in a small 
 hamlet, at the north-western part of the State of 
 New-York. The teacher procured a silver med- 
 al, and suspended it at his desk in sight of the 
 school, with the annunciation that at the end of 
 the term, it should be the prize of the scholar 
 who should excel. A spirit of eager riv|ilry was 
 awakened in the school — all strived assiduously 
 13 
 
]4d THE HABITS < 
 
 10 gain the glittering reward. But the eye of 
 memory rests particularly upon two lads of near- 
 ly an equal age, who bore the most prominent 
 part in this intellectual strife. The dispari- 
 ty in their circumstances was striking. Tlie 
 one, the son of a man of wealth and high stand- 
 ing in that community, was promised additional 
 rewards by his relatives, did he secure the prize. 
 The father of the other was poor — all he possess- 
 ed was honesty and industry — and to the son, no 
 other inducement could be held out, but the prize 
 itself and the honor of obtaining it. And this 
 was sufficient to fire his ambition. The son of 
 poverty formed a fixed determination that the 
 medal should be his. He applied himself to 
 study with the most indomitable perseverance — 
 nothing could divert his attention, or thwart his 
 purpose. His efforts resulted in complete suc- 
 cess — his industry and perseverance 'met their 
 certain reward. He was crowned victor; and 
 with the blushes of boyhood, received the envied 
 prize ! In this instance, perseverance accom- 
 plished what wealth could not. 
 
 Let us trace the history of these lads a little 
 farther. After living side by side, engaged in the 
 same sports and amusements, a few years after 
 the incident above related, they parted. The 
 son of the man of wealth, entered higher semi- 
 naries, to obtain the advantages of a more ex- 
 tended education ; while the other was put to a 
 mechanical occupation. It was then that the 
 
THE HABITS. 147 
 
 latter first felt with force, the disparity in the gift* 
 of fortune — first sensibly realized the evils of 
 poverty. While he was engaged in laborious 
 business, as a means of subsistence, his early 
 companion was expanding his mind with the 
 lights of literature and science, with every pros- 
 pect of occupying a station in life, as superior to 
 the other as were his advantages. But the poor 
 lad, notwithstanding his adverse circumstan- 
 ces, was not disposed to remain in obscurity. 
 He firmly resolved to make every exertion in his 
 power, to arise above the disadvantages of birth 
 and. indigence. He summoned Industry and 
 Perseverance to be his hand-maids, in the career 
 he had marked out and determined to pursue. 
 Every effort was put forth — every means of im- 
 provement within his reach, was diligently used — 
 and every possible advantage secured. Nor were 
 his efforts unavailing, or his labors fruitless. 
 Success, beyond his most sanguine anticipations, 
 attended him. And now, at tlie penning of these 
 lines, he occupies a station in one of the most en- 
 lightened communities of the world, which, while 
 requiring far more talent, is as elevated, as re- 
 spectable and honorable, as that filled by the 
 wealthy companion of his childhood ! These 
 'jircumstances are not narrated to cast any dis- 
 paragement upon the latter. His course thus far 
 in life, has been prosperous and honorable. He 
 occupies a station which none can obtain, but 
 those well skilled in his profession. But they 
 
148 TRB HABITS. 
 
 are adverted to, solely to convince young men, 
 that enlightened perseverance can overcome al- 
 most every obstacle in an honorable career. 
 
 Faithfulness is a habit which the young should 
 cultivate. What more desirable qualification 
 can a young man possess, than faithfulness to 
 his employers, in the discharge of all business 
 and interest entrusted to his disposal. Once 
 let a young man obtain the name of being faith- 
 ful in all the duties and obligations resting upon 
 him, and he secures the confidence of the whole 
 community. But once let it be known that he is 
 faithless^ and all trust in him is destroyed, and 
 his character receives a fatal blow. 
 
 Have you business to transact ? Do it faith- 
 fully, if your own ; and especially so, if it is 
 confided to you by others. Have you work to 
 perform ? Let it be done faithfully — as near 
 what you contracted to do, and as near what it 
 appears to be, as possible. Avoid all deception 
 in regard to these things. A mechanic or a 
 merchant very much mistakes his interest, who 
 slights his work, or palms cflf his goods for what 
 they really are not. Such men rr.aygain a few 
 dollars in the outset, by pursuing this deceptive 
 course ; but a just and speedy retribution awaits 
 them. Their deceptions are soon discovered — 
 their dishonesty is laid bare — and an indignant 
 community will withhold all farther patronage 
 and encouragement. 
 
 "A Mahratta Prince, in passing through a 
 
THE HABITS. 149' 
 
 certain apariment, one day, discovered one of hh 
 servants asleep, with his master's slippers clasp- 
 ed so lightly to his breast, that he was unable to 
 disengage them. Struck with the fact, and con- 
 cluding at once that a person who was so jeal- 
 ously careful of a trifle, could not fail to be faith- 
 ful when entrusted with a thing of importance, 
 he appointed him a member of his body guard. 
 The result proved that the prince was not mis- 
 taken. Rising in office, step by step, the young 
 man soon became the most distinguished milita- 
 ry commander in Mahratta ; and his fame ulti- 
 mately spread throughout India." Thus faith- 
 fulness will ever gain confidence, and is one 
 of the most essential ingredients in securing 
 respect and prosperity. Be faithful, then — faith- 
 ful in all you do, even in the most trivial things — 
 and a certain reward awaits you. 
 
 Punctuality is another habit which should 
 not be overlooked. This habit can easily be 
 formed, but more easily neglected. Begin while 
 young, to be punctual in your occupation and 
 in all your business transactions, and it will 
 soon become a habit that will sit easily upon 
 you, and save you from many perplexing diffi- 
 culties. A man who is punctual in fulfilling all 
 his engagements, and in discharging all his re- 
 sponsibilities, has many facilities and advanta- 
 ges offered him by the business community, that 
 are denied those who are known to be slack and 
 neglectful. The credit of the former stands 
 13* 
 
190 THC BABIT9. 
 
 far higher than that of the latter, although his 
 means may not be as ample. '• Procrastination 
 is the thief of time," and the stumbling-block 
 to prosperity. "If I had been there but a mo- 
 ment sooner ." But you might have been 
 
 there, had the spirit of punctuality stirred with- 
 in you. " Do at once, what at once ought to be 
 done. Let not the season of action he spent in 
 hesitancy. Do not let to-morrow be perpetually 
 the time when every thing is to be done." " A 
 time for every thing, and every thing in its lime — 
 a place for every thing, and every thing in its 
 place." These are maxims that should be en- 
 graven upon the tablet of every young man's 
 memory. There is no truth more certain, than 
 that if you do not drive your business, your 
 business will drive you. He who drives his 
 business has every thing done promptly and cor- 
 rectly, and still has leisure at his disposal ; 
 while the individual who is driven by his busi- 
 ness, is constantly hurried and perplexed — his 
 hffairs are in confusion, and often suffer for want 
 of attention — for what is done in a hurry, is 
 generally ill done. Study, then, to be punctu- 
 al, prompt, and methodical in all your affairs. 
 Punctuality is the " fly-wheel" which gives stead • 
 iness and precision to all the machinery of busi- 
 ness. 
 
 Early Rising is a habit that should be sedu- 
 lously cultivated. This habit is conducive to 
 health, to longevity, and to prosperity. When 
 
THE HAB1T3. 151 
 
 your avocations commence with the opening 
 light of morning, it gives every thing a for- 
 ward impulse that can be felt throughout the 
 day. But let the sun commence his daily work 
 long before you leave the bed, and all things 
 drag as though a spell rested upon them. "A 
 sluggard takes an hundred steps, because he 
 would not take one in due time." Sum up the 
 hours that are, by many people, needlessly spent 
 in bed, and they will amount to years in a long 
 life. Napoleon, in the midst of his triumphs, 
 allowed himself but four hours sleep in the 
 twenty-four. This untiring application to busi- 
 ness, was undoubtedly one secret of his extraor- 
 dinary success. There is v/isdom in the prov- 
 erb of Solomon — "Yet a little sleep, a little 
 slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep; 
 so shall thy poverty come as one that travellefh, 
 and thy want as an armed man." Experience 
 testifies to the truth of this declaration, that in- 
 dolence is the cause of poverty and want. Let 
 the young take heed of this danger and avoid it. 
 Let the words of the wise man be called vividly 
 to mind on retiring to rest, and with due reflection, 
 they will arouse you with the dawning light of 
 morning. 
 
 Economy is not, by far, the least in importance 
 among the habits to be commended to youth. 
 It needs no argument to show that a spend- 
 thrift must, ere long, necessarily be involved in 
 poverty The young man who expends in use- 
 
152 THE HABrrs. 
 
 less amusements or sinful follies, all he earns, 
 
 of course can lay up nothing to commence busi- 
 ness for himself, or to provide for future misfor- 
 tunes or wants. And such an one can hardly 
 hope for assistance in pecuniary mailers. The 
 confidence of community is wanting ; and when 
 that is gone, all is gone. And he who spends 
 more than his income, will soon become in- 
 volved in toils which it will be difficult to es- 
 cape. 
 
 The necessity of economy is acknowledged 
 by all ; but with too many, especially the young, 
 it is one thing to make this acknowledgment, 
 but another and quite different thing, to prac- 
 tice in accordance with it. It is not very diffi- 
 cult to take care of whatever large sums we 
 may possess, but it is a work of greater care 
 to economize the smaller sums. Hence the 
 propriety of the maxim — " take care of the shil- 
 lings, and the pounds will take care of them- 
 selves." A man that is truly economical, will 
 become rich in saving what another deems too 
 little to deserve care. " A penny saved, is two 
 pence earned," was one of the trite sayings of 
 Dr. Franklin ; and in practicing it, he became 
 wealthy. 
 
 Every young man should study economy, in all 
 his expenditures. A trifling sura squandered 
 every day, soon amounts to an aggregate of im- 
 portance. How many are there in the middle 
 and advanced stages of life, who, could they have 
 
THE HABITS. H^ 
 
 what they heedlessly and uselessly spent in. 
 youth, would be saved from ruin and want. The 
 young should remember that every farthing 
 "which they expend unnecessarily, will cause them 
 to he so much poorer through life. I would not 
 inculcate a parsimonious, miserly disposition. I 
 would have the young generous and liberal in all 
 their conduct. But there is a vast distinction be- 
 tween the liberal man and the spendthrift. True 
 economy is not opposed to expenditures for all 
 that is necessary fully to supply your own wants, 
 and to satisfy the claims of charity, benevolence, 
 generosity, justice, and the public welfare. But 
 farther than this it forbids your proceeding. It 
 calls upon you to husband your means careful- 
 ly, and to avoid all sinful, frivolous, and use- 
 less expenses. If young men desire to obtain 
 a competency, this is the only safe method to 
 secure it. 
 
 Young men should also be economical of time. 
 "Time is money," says Dr. Franklin. An hour 
 or a day needlessly idled away, is so much money 
 taken from your pocket. Let all your time be 
 occupied usefully. Your leisure hours should 
 not be idle hours. A useful book, or other pub- 
 lication — the conversation of select friends — the 
 obtaining in any proper manner of valuable infor- 
 mation — should occupy those hours not devoted 
 to business. Men who have distinguished them- 
 selves in the world, have always been economiial 
 pf time. One of the most industrious men in 
 
154 THE HABITS. 
 
 England, is Lord Brougham. He often does not 
 Icavp til" House of Lords until midnight, and yet 
 he always rises by four o'clock, A. M. And by 
 thus husbanding his time, he has been enabled to 
 attend to a greater diversity of interests, and to 
 despatch a greater amount of business, than any- 
 other individual of the present age. Dr. Cotton 
 Mather, to prevent his time from being wasted too 
 much by visitors, placed in large characters over 
 the door of his study, the motto — '• be brief." 
 Professor Vorsinus, of the University of Heidel- 
 berg, for the same purpose, wrote over the door 
 of his library — " Whoever thou art that enlerest 
 here, be brief, or get you gone?^ Scaliger, pro- 
 fessor of the Belles-Lettres, at Leyden, whom 
 his friends denominated "an ocean of science." 
 and " the master-piece of nature," inscribed on 
 the door of his study : " Tem-pus meum est agar 
 meus,^^ (My time is my field.) " Sire, one word," 
 said a soldier one day, to Frederick the Great, 
 on presenting a lieutenant's commission for his 
 signature. " If you utter two,^^ said the indus- 
 trious prince, "I will cause you to be hung up by 
 the heels." '* Sign," said the soldier. The 
 monarch, astonished at his presence of mind, 
 granted his request. Let young men cultivate 
 such habits of economy in lime, and in after 
 years they will realize the beneficial fruits of 
 their wisdom. 
 
 Temperance. — The evils of intemperance, I 
 have already adverted to in a former chapter. 
 
THE HABITS. 139 
 
 Habits of temperance are of the utmost utility to 
 health, usefulness, and success in business. And 
 here I would repeat that temperance in drink, is 
 entire abstinence from intoxicating liquors of 
 every character. Adopt this judicious rule, and 
 you are entirely absolved from all danger of be- 
 coming engulfed in the wretchedness and ruin 
 of the habitual drunkard. But if you overstep 
 this line, and become what is sometimes termed 
 the temperate drinker, you are exposed to immi- 
 nent danger ; and the chances are greatly against 
 you, that you will ere long be involved in the 
 deepest evils of intemperance. The only way 
 to he insured against intemperance and its woes, 
 is to avoid the commencement of the evil, by re- 
 fraining wholly from all intoxicating drinks as a 
 beverage ! 
 
 It is also necessary to acquire habits of tem- 
 perance in regard to food. In the Scriptures the 
 glutton and the drunkard are ranked upon nearly 
 the same level j and so heinous were these habits 
 considered by the Israelites, that they punished 
 those guilty of them, by stoning to death. Glut- 
 tony is a vile and low habit, and assimilates its 
 victims far too near the nature of the swine. It is 
 the fruitful source of the most painful diseases, 
 and leads to a premature grave. Let every young 
 person avoid it as they value respectability and 
 comfort — for it is highly destructive to both. 
 Read the words of Ecclesiasticus — " Eat mod- 
 e&tly that which is set before thee, and devour 
 
Ii6 THE HABlTt. 
 
 ttot, lest thou be hated. When thou sitlest 
 amon^ many, reach not thy hand out first of all. 
 A wholesome sleep cometh of a temperate 
 belly. Such a man riseth up in the morn- 
 ing, and is well at ease with himself. Be 
 not too hasty of meats: for excess of meats 
 bringeth sickness, and choleric diseases cometh 
 of gluttony.'* 
 
 Temperance also forbids the use of tobacco, in 
 any form or manner. Those who urge the pro- 
 priety of temperance in drink, and yet use that 
 nauseous weed, are inconsistent — they are tem- 
 perate in one respect, but intemperate in another ; 
 they abjure one evil and cling to another. The 
 man who lectures publicly against intoxicating 
 drinks, with his mouth loaded with filthy tobac- 
 co, or his nostrils filled with snulT, furnishes a 
 most beautiful commentary on consistency and 
 propriety ! In the great majority of cases, to 
 those who use tobacco, it is not only useless and 
 uncalled for, but it is absolutely injurious to 
 health and appearance. And it is now becoming 
 generally believed, that tobacco is not necessary 
 to health in any case — or, in other words, that in 
 those few instances where it has been considered 
 beneficial, health and soundness can be procured 
 much better by another course of treatment. It 
 is estimated that in the United States, $10,000,000 
 are annually expended in the consumption of to- 
 bacco! Were this enormous sum, which is now 
 worse than thrown away, to be applied to internal 
 
THE HABITS. mm 
 
 improrements, or to the education of the people, 
 how immense would be the benellts that would 
 flow therefrom. 
 
 " If you have erer learned to chew or smoTce 
 that Indian weed, called tobacco, 1 beg that you 
 will at once drop all, cleanse your mouth, and 
 never again defile yourself with it. Let a man be 
 thrown from a shipwreck upon a desert island, 
 and in a state of starvation, and he would rather 
 die than to eat this weed, though the island might 
 be covered with it; and no youth can use it, 
 either in chewing, smoking, or snuffing, without 
 decided and permanent injury to his appearance 
 and health, and progress in study. When the 
 fashion was so strong in England, that James I. 
 could get no one to preach against it, his own 
 royal hand took the pen and wrote a treatise which 
 he denominates 'A Counterblast to Tobacco? 
 The strength of his princely antidote may be 
 gathered from the following closing paragraph 
 of this royal counterblast : ' It is a custom loathe- 
 some to the eye, hateful to the nose, harmful ta 
 the brain, dangerous to the lungs, and in the 
 
 black fume thereof, nearest resemhling the 
 
 horrible Stygian smoke of the pit that is bot- 
 tomless.' All experienced people will tell you 
 that the habit of using tobacco, in any shape, 
 will render you emaciated and consumptive, 
 your nerves shattered, your spirits low and 
 moody, your throat dry, and demanding stimu- 
 lating drinks, your person filthy, aud your habits^ 
 14 
 
158 THE HABITS. 
 
 slovenly."* " In fact, not a few persons an 
 made drunkards by this very means. Dr. Rush 
 has a long chapter on this subject, in one of his 
 volumes, Avhich is well worth your attention. 
 In addition to all this, it has been observed that 
 in fevers and other diseases, medicines never ope- 
 rate well in constitutions which have been ac- 
 customed to the use of tobacco." With these 
 facts in view, young men of sense and discre- 
 tion, surely will not contract habits which cause 
 them sickness and pain in obtaining them, and 
 which, when obtained, so far from being any 
 benefit, are the cause of evil only, and that con- 
 tinually. I speak as unto Avise men. 
 
 Finally, adopt the motto — " Temperance in all 
 thiugrs" — adhere to it strictly, and as a general 
 rule, your reward will be health, cheerfulness, 
 and a green old age. 
 
 '^ Keep out of dehC^ is a good maxim for 
 young men. Much depends upon habit in this 
 respect. A young man^ if so disposed can gen- 
 erally avoid becoming involved in debt. If he is 
 prudent and economical, there will be no necessi- 
 ty in all ordinary cases, of becoming indebted. 
 If a young man who has none to provide for but 
 himself, can not avoid debt, his prospects of fu- 
 ture success must be exceedingly dark. If you 
 have not the means at hand, avoid making any 
 expenditure at all, until you can pay promptly. 
 This is the better way. By adopting this rule, 
 * Student's Manual 
 
THE HABITS. 159 
 
 many a young man has been deterred from con- 
 tracting debts for that "which was unnecessary 
 and useless. 
 
 Avoid cherishing a fault-jhiding ciisposition. 
 There are those who so incessantly indulr^e ia 
 complaints against men and things, against the 
 weather, the times, the ways of Providence, and 
 even themselves, that it finally becomes a deep- 
 seated and confirmed habit. Fault-finding s'jems 
 to be the vital atmosphere they inhale; and they 
 can not exist satisfactorily to themselves, with- 
 out waging a perpetual war of complaints agai.ist 
 every body, and every thing. Such people ue- 
 come an evil to themselves, and to all with w'iuui 
 they mingle — they are a morose genus^ f'nm 
 whose presence contentment and happiness tlee 
 away. Avoid this disagreeable hahit, as far as 
 possible. Cultivate a cheerful, contented dispo- 
 sition. Always be disposed to look upon the 
 bright side of things, and to throw the veil of 
 charity over the imperfections of mankind, rath- 
 er than to indulge in useless complaints. Man 
 was not intended for perfection in this life; an(? 
 he who looks for it and complains that he doe? 
 not find it, will be constantly disappointed, an(* 
 possess an endless theme of dissatisfaction. Th<» 
 world is as it is, and fault-finding will not mend 
 it. Better, far, to smile than to growl at its 
 failings — and better still to amend our own faults 
 and inconsistencies, and endeavor by kind pre- 
 cept and faithful example, to improve our fel- 
 
160 THE HABITS. 
 
 low-beings, rather than to hurl captious com- 
 plaints ngainst them. Make the best use of what 
 you have, and do ihe best you can in iiiedi.>charfje 
 of all your duties, and trust the rest to the care 
 Df the wise Disposer of all events. 
 
CHAPTER IV. 
 
 CONVERSATION. 
 
 Language is one of the most important gifts 
 bestowed upon man, by a» bountiful Providence. 
 It holds a high rank among the peculiar faculties 
 by which the human race are pre-eminently dis- 
 tinguished from other classes of beings on earth. 
 By the aid of lanf^uage we communicate to each 
 other our thoughts, our inclinations, wishes, 
 hopes and fears — by language we interchange all 
 the sentiments of the heart — soul mingles with 
 fcoulj and the dearest and sweetest connexions in 
 life are formed. But as every blessing the good- 
 ness of God has bestowed upon man, can be per- 
 verted from its original design, and made the 
 source of evil, so language often becomes the 
 medium by which great wretchedness is occa- 
 sioned. " The tongue," says St. James, though 
 " a little member, is an unruly evil, full of deadly 
 poison." This is said in reference to an un- 
 guarded tongue. When the tongue is made the 
 mstrument of calumny, falsehood, licentiousness 
 U* 161 
 
162 CONVERSATION. 
 
 and profanity — when it is made to give utterance 
 to the vile and sinful thoughts of a corrupt heart 
 — it truly becomes "an unruly evil, full of dead- 
 ly poison !" But a strictly guarded and well- 
 disciplined tongue, is an instrument capable of 
 accomplishing great good! A few remarks^ 
 therefore, upon the subject of conversatio-n, can 
 not be inappropriate to the consideration of the 
 young. 
 
 The first important requisite in conversation, 
 IS discretion. The old proverb says, "a wise 
 man thinks all that he says, and a fool says all 
 that he thinks." The meaning of this maxim is, 
 that the wise man selects liis thoughts for con- 
 versation, from the mass that is floating in his 
 mind. Wise men have many improper thoughts 
 as well as other people; but one trait of their 
 wisdom is, to keep such thoughts to themselves, 
 and give utterance only to such as are proper 
 and useful. But every thing that enters the 
 minds of the foolish — whether proper or improp- 
 er, wise or simple — runs off from the ends of their 
 tongues ; and in this consists one portion of their 
 folly. A safe rule to adopt is, to be cautious to 
 whom you speak, what you speak, and in whose 
 fresence you speak. A strict scrutiny in these 
 respects, will become a safeguard that will al- 
 ways keep you within the bounds of propriety and 
 prudence. 
 
 As conversation is a means, under proper man- 
 agement by which the roost important knovrledge 
 
CONVERSATION. 163 
 
 can be obtained, it should be your endeavor to 
 seek out the company of the experienced and the 
 ■well-infornied. The conversation of a wise man, 
 like the gentle showers of the Summer, falls upon 
 youthful hearts with an inspiring and fructify- 
 ing influence — it sows the seeds of useful knowl- 
 edge, and lays the foundation of virtues which in 
 after life, expand into a character rich in every 
 valuable qualification. In conversing with such 
 people, mark the language they use, the manner 
 of their expression, and their general demeanor, 
 that you may acquire a correct and intelligent 
 method of conveying your own thoughts. I 
 would not have you servilely imitate the whole 
 manner and expression of others; but you well 
 know that thoughts can be uttered either in an 
 obscure, broken, unintelligent, and vulgar man- 
 ner, or in a way that is clear, perspicuous, and 
 genteel. To secure this latter method, great as- 
 sistance can be gained by observing the manner 
 of those who possess it, and adopting a general 
 course similar to theirs. 
 
 To obtain information, your conversation should 
 be varied in accordance with the condition and 
 occupation of those with whom you speak. To 
 converse witii the merchant or professional man, 
 upon the mechanic arts — or with the mechanic, 
 on agriculture — or with the farmer, on the rise 
 and fall of stocks, or on the minutiae of com- 
 merce, or on literary criticisms — as a general re- 
 sult, your stock of information would receive 
 
164 CONVCRSATtON. 
 
 but little addition. With every individual, I re- 
 peat, you should endeavor to lead the conversa- 
 tion to those topics whereon they are "at home" 
 — subjects relating to their particular calling, and 
 in regard to which they are supposed to be well 
 informed. In this manner, from every person 
 jnowever limited his general knowledge, you can 
 gain information which can be turned to good 
 account. 
 
 Confine not your conversation to people of one 
 opinion, or of the same class, sect, or parly, ei- 
 ther in regard to religion, politics, or any other 
 subject. By hearing different opinions and sen- 
 timents advanced and advocated upon the same 
 topic, you have a much more favorable opportu- 
 nity of deciding where truth resides, and of in- 
 creasing your general stock of knowledge, than 
 you possibly could, were you to restrict your in- 
 tercourse exclusively to one parly or class. And 
 here let me caution you, to permit not the truth 
 or value of any sentiment you may hear uttered 
 by an individual, to be decided by your prepos- 
 sessions for or against the parly or sect to which 
 he may belong ; but solely by the consistency 
 and reasonableness of the sentiment itself— by 
 its agreement or opposition to the dictates of 
 wisdom, and to known and well established facts. 
 From every party and sect, much informalion 
 that is useful can be obtained, if they are listened 
 to with candor and discrimination. 
 
 In company, conversation should not be allow- 
 
CONVERSATIOW. 1^ 
 
 ed to Stagnate, as this causes all to feel awkward 
 and unpleasant. To obviate this difficulty, if 
 proper topics do not readily occur, let some val- 
 uable publication be read aloud by one of ihe 
 party. Each paragraph may become the subject 
 of general comment, as it is read — every individ- 
 ual who feels inclined, expressing his opinion in 
 regard to its merits. In this manner, a flow of 
 conversation can be kept up, that will be enter- 
 taining and useful to all. 
 
 Beware in company, of speaking against an ab- 
 sent person. In such cases, your words will 
 seem to be conveyed on the wings of the wind. 
 The individual who is the subject of your re- 
 marks, will assuredly hear of them, and you will 
 be extremely liable to become involved in diffi- 
 culty from your thoughtlessness. By detracting 
 from the merits of the absent, the company will 
 be at liberty to surmise that you are actuated by 
 envy or malice; and thus you may lower your" 
 self in their estimation, instead of the person 
 against whom your remarks are directed. A cer- 
 tain eccentric individual was always observed, at 
 parties, to be among the last that retired. On 
 being interrogated v/hy he uniformly tarried so 
 long, he replied that "as soon as a man was gone, 
 they always began to talk against him ; and, con* 
 sequently, he thought it always judicious to stay 
 till none were left to slander him." There is 
 loo much truth in this suggestion. To speak 
 disparagingly of the absent, is a failing too gen* 
 
166 COWVERSATION. 
 
 erally indulged. It should, however, be guarded 
 against, as a practice alike tinjint, indelicate, and 
 un^enilenianly. It is doing unto others precisely 
 OS we uould not have others do unto us. 
 
 Be cautious upon what topics you converse. 
 Never introduce or speak upon subjects that are 
 indelicate, profane, or in any way improper. 
 There is no greater indication of a lack of good 
 breeding, than a violation of this rule. Especial- 
 ly avoid indulging levity upon sacred subjects. 
 Religion is a topic too important — the names of 
 our Creator and of our Redeemer are too sacred— 
 to be mentioned in a light trifling manner, or to 
 be made themes for ridicule or merriment. 
 
 Avoid interlarding your conversation with vul- 
 gar sayings and low expressions. Many are fond 
 of indulging in double entendres — in conveying 
 by emphasis or gesture, some indelicate idea, un- 
 der a form of decent language. This habit should 
 be carefully avoided by every young man who 
 would lay claims to gentility. Anecdotes of a 
 lascivious character, or such as terminate in an 
 attempt at vulgar wit, should never be permitted 
 to pass your lips. 
 
 Never be guilty of using profane language. la 
 this respect, young men are extremely liable to 
 err. It seems that some view it as an accoii:- 
 plifehment, a mark of gallantry and manhood, to 
 intersperse their conversation with oalhs and im- 
 precations. But this is a great mistake. There 
 is no more certain evidence of ill manners, and 
 
CONVERSATION. 16t 
 
 of familiarity with low company, than the habit 
 of swearing. It shows an evident want of true 
 taste and politeness. Lord Chesterfield, who is 
 good authority on this suhject, says that oaths 
 are never heard in the language of a real gentle- 
 man. It is true, some who lay pretensions to 
 gentility, indulge in this lo^v habit ; but their pre- 
 tensions are not well founded. This one prac- 
 tice displays their vulgarity as evidently as 
 though the word were branded upon their fore- 
 head. Permit me, therefore, to urge the young 
 man whose eye is scanning these lines, to refrain 
 entirely from this base practice. It is not only 
 wicked in the sight of God — not only impolite, 
 dishonorable, and ungentlemanly — but useless, 
 uncalled for, and absolutely silly ! If you would 
 be respected by yourself and by others, be not 
 contaminated by that vulgarity which invariably 
 degrades you in the estimation of the discreet 
 and wise. And whenever your companions in- 
 dulge in profanity, exercise all your influence by 
 entreaty, persuasion, or even ridicule, to induce- 
 them to abandon a habit which ranks them with 
 the lowest of our race. It is hardly necessary to 
 say, that it is exceedingly impolite and indecorous 
 to use profane language in company — especially 
 in the company of ladies ! This the good sense 
 of every intelligent young man will dictate ; and 
 he will therefore, not allow himself to be guilty 
 of such vulgarity. 
 Do not engross the whole attention of the so- 
 
168 CONVERSATION. 
 
 rial circle. You should recollect thai others 
 have ideas as well a*! you — that their desire to 
 express them may be as strong as yours, and that 
 the company may be as highly edified by their 
 conversation, as by the uninterrupted flow of 
 your own thoughts. Remember the adage — 
 ' Water running from a bottle nearly empty, 
 makes more noise than in running from one that 
 is full." People wtU sometimes apply this to 
 those who monopolize a great proportion of the 
 conversation. Whenever the propensity seizes 
 you to talk much more than others, in company, 
 think of the loitd sound of the empty bottle ; and 
 allow the suspicion to enter your mind, that per- 
 haps those who are compelled to listen, are think- 
 ing of it also. This will be a salutary curb, and 
 will be likely to keep you within the bounds of 
 politeness. 
 
 Avoid speaking much of yourself and your own 
 exploits, in a mixed company. He who makes 
 himself the theme of his whole conversation, is 
 very liable to become exceedingly ridiculous in the 
 eyes of oihers. It has the appearance of holding 
 a very elevated rank, in your own estimation — 
 and that of all the subjects that have engrossed the 
 attention of man since the world began, none seem 
 to you so worthy the notice of those in your pres- 
 ence, as your own attractions or achievements. 
 A little reflection on the ridiculous light in which 
 you would thus place yourself will cause you to 
 avoid this display of littleness and vanity. 
 
CONVERSATION. 169 
 
 Do not make others the subject of ill-natured 
 jests. It may for the moment, produce a laugh 
 in the company ; but it may, also, send a shaft 
 that will rankle deep in some heart, and become 
 the source of bitter enmity towards you. 
 
 When an individual is addressing you, avoid 
 seeming inattentive to his remarks. It has the 
 appearance of holding him in slight estimation, 
 and is equivalent to saying, " I deem you of too 
 little importance to claim my notice." 
 
 Beware of entering into loud and boisterous 
 disputation or wrangling upon any topic, in com- 
 pany. If the opinions you may happen to ex- 
 press, are objected to, and you are thus compel- 
 led, as it were, to enter upon their defence, do it 
 with calmness and serenity. Keep yourself per- 
 fectly cool and collected; and avoid showing the 
 least symptom of anger. Nothing is more impo- 
 lite, and nothing gives your opponent greater 
 advantage over you, than to burst out into a blaze 
 of rage. Carefully avoid such a catastrophe. If 
 he becomes angry, do you not fail to be good- 
 natured — if he frowns, do you smile — if he re- 
 sorts to calumny and vituperation, do you return 
 it with forgiveness and kindness. "A good word 
 for a bad one, is worth much and costs but lit- 
 tle." You can not foil to obtain a sensible ad- 
 vantage by pursuing this course. These remarks 
 will apply especially to religious topics. A 
 friendly conversation, or disputation upon con- 
 troverted points of religious faith, is both pleas- 
 15 
 
176 C0N\^ER9ATI0If. 
 
 ont and instructive, when the parties remain in a 
 milf] and well-governed slate of mind. But if 
 one or both become angry, all pleasure and profit 
 ceases — it becomes a strife of bad feelings and 
 acrimonious personalities, instead of that proper 
 interchange of opinions, whereby truth is elicited. 
 When tiie feelings become aroused to this disa- 
 greeable state, evidence and argument are of no 
 avail ; they make no convincing and lasting im- 
 pression, and the conversation had better be clo- 
 sed at once — for 
 
 " A man convinced against liis will, 
 Isoftlie same opinion still." 
 
 Never flatly contradict another in conversation. 
 It is much more proper to say, " that, perhaps, is 
 a mistake," than to exclaim, " that is a lie." The 
 former is a more honorable and gentlemanly man- 
 ner of contradicting a statement, than the latter. 
 When you are compelled to differ from another, 
 in any sentiment he has uttered, do it with ex- 
 pressions of regret that your views call upon you 
 to sustain opinions of an adverse character. This 
 will tend to remove or prevent harshness and as- 
 perity — it will prepossess him in favor of the 
 friendly spirit which you exhibit, and cause him 
 to view your sentiments in a more favorable light 
 than he would were you to pursue a diflferent 
 course. 
 
 Be not too positive in any of your statements. 
 You will frequently discover yourself wrong, 
 
CONVERSATION. 171 
 
 when you feel very positive you are right. Every 
 subject has ^?co sides ; and before you form a def- 
 inite conclusion, or enter upon the defence of an 
 opinion, be certain that you have fairly seen and 
 examined both sides. A botanist, in publishing 
 an account of a flower denominated "the bee- 
 orchis," described it as having the form of a bee 
 painted upon its leaves. Another writer public- 
 ly contradicted this statement, and maintained 
 that it was the figure of a Jiy that was impressed 
 upon the petal of the flower. In this, however, 
 he displayed the limited extent of his informa- 
 tion upon this subject, for there are two species 
 of orchis flower — the bee-orchis and the fly-orchis. 
 Had not this writer been so very positive, he 
 would not have published and displayed his 
 ignorance to the world. I repeat, then, be not 
 too positive upon any subject, or too precipitate 
 in expressing your opinion. Give every topic a 
 thorough examination before you become its ad- 
 vocate. 
 
 Permit me here to caution young men against 
 that ungentlemanly practice, in which too many 
 indulge, of speaking in a light and disparaging 
 manner of the female character in general. Some 
 young men seem to imagine it exceedingly wise 
 and knowing, to indulge in these general suspi- 
 cions. But they invariably indicate a weak head, 
 an unkind, ungenerous disposition, and a wicked 
 and corrupt heart. Such young men should re« 
 member that their mothers, sisters, and future 
 
172 COWVtRSATION. 
 
 wives, are all included in these sweeping denun- 
 cialions. If they possess any love or respect for 
 them, their lips will be closed lo these viie and 
 "Uiifounded caluainies. 
 
CHAPTER V. 
 
 AMUSEMENTS. 
 
 This is a subject fraught with difficulty. Man- 
 kind are furnished with many faculties that are 
 capable of bestowing much amusement ; which 
 "sufficiently shows us," saj's Addison, "that 
 Providence did not design this world should be 
 filled with murmurs and repinings. or that the 
 heart of man should be involved in gloom and 
 melancholy." That it is proper, yea, necessary, 
 for the young to seek occasional amusement, is a 
 subject which admits of but little dispute. The 
 bow must frequently be unbent, to retain its elas- 
 tic spring. So the body must obtain relaxation 
 from labor, or it speedily wears out — and the 
 mind must be occupied, at proper intervals, with 
 lighter and more diversified topics, than a constant 
 grapple with abstract sciences, and the cares and 
 perplexities of life, or its delicate and wonderful 
 machinery becomes disordered. To be healthy, 
 the body must frequently change its posture — to 
 continue sound, the mind must unbend from its 
 15* 173 
 
174 AMUSEMENTS. 
 
 high vocations, and seek rest by a resort to the 
 powers of the imagination. 
 
 There is a thought connected with this topic, 
 of which the young should be aware. An:iuse- 
 ment cannot be obtained except at liie expense 
 o£ experiencing something of a contrary charac- 
 ter. Without weariness you can never realize 
 the enjoyment of rest — without hunger and thirst, 
 you can not know the satisfaction of partaking 
 of food and drink. And be it remembered, that 
 without application to business — without indus- 
 trious exertion in some occupation which is more 
 or less painful — you can not possibly find amuse- 
 ment, properly speaking, in any thing. It is 
 alone by contrast that amusement possesses at- 
 tractions. Destroy the contrast, and the amuse- 
 ment ceases. How often, in the midst of some 
 scene of amusement, does the wish escape the 
 bosom of the young — " O that I could always 
 remain engaged in these gratifying pastimes!" 
 Alas, ignorant youth ! know that were these sea- 
 sons of amusement to continue without interrup- 
 tion, soon would they become as irksome and 
 painful as labor — soon would they lose all their 
 charms, and be distasteful and insipid ! Those 
 who are enabled by wealth to make pleasure, as 
 it is termed, the whole occupation of life, find it 
 far more difficult to obtain aviusement, than peo- 
 ple in the humbler walks of life. Pleasure is 
 their btisiness, their trade ; and it often becomes 
 as onerous and irksome to them, as any occupa- 
 
AMUSEMENTS, 
 
 175 
 
 -tion does to others. The young should, therefore, 
 remember that they cannot obtain amusement 
 fiom any source whatever^ uithout they are 
 prepared for it by previous industry , labor, and 
 deprivation. As well can food be grateful to i 
 stomach already overloaded and surfeited. 
 
 While it is universally conceded that amuse- 
 ments are proper to youth, the character of those 
 amusements is a serious and important question, 
 in regard to which there exists a diversity of opin- 
 ion. Such is the infirmity of human nature, that 
 whatever is pleasing and gratifying for a season — 
 made so by previous deprivation — we are liable to 
 indulge in to such excess, that it becomes an evil, 
 generating pain and wretchedness. From the 
 very nature of the subject, the young must be left, 
 in a good degree, to the guidance of their own 
 judgment and discretion, in regard to their recre- 
 ations. Their parents and guardians can not al- 
 ways be with them in their amusements. They 
 must, therefore, bring to bear that self-control 
 which will restrain excess, or the evil will be upoa 
 their own heads. There is as much need of tem- 
 ' perance in amusements, as in relation to any other 
 subject. Without a temperate forbearance, the 
 most harmless amusements become the sources 
 of unhappiness. The very circumstance that we 
 have too much of a good thing, makes it good for 
 nothing — makes it an evil rather than a good. 
 Young men should, therefore, exercise caution 
 and circumspection and much forethought, in 
 
176 AML'SEMENTS. 
 
 selecting their amusements. They should choose 
 those that possess the least liability to lead to ex- 
 cess and ruin — if possible, they should select 
 those which both please and instruct. 
 
 " Pleasure, or wrong or rightly understood, 
 Our greatest evil, or our greatest good." 
 
 Card playing is often resorted to by the youn?, 
 for amusement. Although the act of card playing 
 for recreation, when considered simply in and of 
 itself, is not injurious, yet as its associations and 
 tendencies are dangerous, and as it occupies hours 
 that might be spent more profitably, the practice 
 should be avoided. There is nothing in this 
 amusement that can be beneficial. It affords no 
 useful exercise for the mind — stores it with no 
 valuable ideas — not even admitting of conversa- 
 tion to any extent, except upon the trivial subject 
 of the game. It is one of the most unmeaning, 
 unprofitable, and fruitless employments to which 
 the mind can well be directed. But the great ob- 
 jection to card playing, is Us dangerous tendency. 
 An expertness in this practice, is liable to induce 
 a desire to venture a small hazard at the gaming 
 table, and then a larger and larger still, until a 
 thirst for gaming is acquired, which leads to pov- 
 erty and wretchedness. 1 would, therefore, advise 
 young men to avoid card playing entirely. It 
 can not possibly bestow any benefit upon them ; 
 but it can lead them into the most sinful practi- 
 ees ; it can lead and has led to the dungeon and the 
 gallows ! Who is willing to run this hazard, for 
 
AMOSEMENTS. Wf 
 
 the snke of the little amusement this practice 
 can 'mnart ? 
 
 " Dancing, for those whose occupations are of 
 a sedentary character, such as students and many 
 classes of mechanics, would be an appropriate 
 exercise, if it were not perpetually abused. But 
 by assembling in large crowds, continuing it late 
 at evening, and then sallying out in a perspiration, 
 into the cold or damp night air, a thousand times 
 more mischief has been done, than all the bene- 
 fit which it has afforded would balance." And be- 
 sides, as dancing assemblies are usually conduct- 
 ed, they become, to many young men, the nurse- 
 ries of intemperance, prodigality, and indolence. 
 " It were greatly to be wished that this exercise 
 might be regulated by those rules which human 
 experience has indicated, instead of being subject 
 to the whim and caprice of fashion. It is a great 
 pity an exercise so valuable to the sedentary, and 
 especially to those who sit much, of both sexes, 
 should be so managed as to injure half the world, 
 and excite against it the prejudice of the other 
 half."* As it is, however, young men who wish 
 to preserve good moral and physical habits, should 
 wholly refrain from mingling in those routs, balls, 
 and assemblies, where dancing is continued to a 
 late hour, and where the intoxicating beverage is 
 freely circulated. Amid such scenes, inclinations, 
 tastes and habits of the most deleterious tendency, 
 may be formed — the germs of vices may there be 
 ♦ Young Man's Guide. 
 
178 AMUSBfti^'NTa. 
 
 obtained, which lead to utter wretchedness and 
 
 degradation. 
 
 Theatres are another source of amusement to 
 which young men often resort. That theatres 
 might be made instructive — that tiiey might be 
 made schools of morality and virtue — is undoubt- 
 edly true. But that they are such, all know to be 
 false. As they are now managed, they are the 
 fountain, the very hot-bed of immorality. Every 
 vicious habit, and every sinful propensity, there 
 finds a stimulant. Lewd songs, lewd dances, 
 gestures and expressions, are constantly brought 
 to the attention of the audience. And it must be, 
 that iheatre-going people, of both sexes, are fond 
 of these indelicate exhibitions, or actors, whose 
 interest it is to cater for the public taste, would 
 not dare to indulge in them. Were these immoral- 
 ities to be indignantly frowned down by the au- 
 dience, upon every representation, they would 
 soon be banished from the stage. But as long as 
 they are received witii evident marks of approba- 
 tion, these streams of pollution will still continue 
 to send their contaminations into the hearts of 
 thousands. 
 
 No young man can be in the habit of attending 
 theatres, without extreme liability to become cor- 
 rupted in every principle. Dr. Griscom, of New- 
 York, in a report made a few years ago, on the 
 causes of vice and crime in that city, says — 
 " Among the causes of vicious excitement in our 
 city, none appear to be so powerful in their oa 
 
AlVIUSEMEN rs. 170 
 
 fUre, as theatrical amusements. The number of 
 boys and young men who have become determin- 
 ed thieves, in order to obtain the means of intro- 
 duction to the theatres and circuses, would appal 
 the feelings of every virtuous mind, could the 
 whole truth be laid before them." Rosseau, Sir 
 John Hawkins, Archbishop Tiilotson, Bishop 
 Collier, Sir Matthew Hale, Burgh, Dr. Johnson, 
 Lord Kaimes, with a multitude of other distin- 
 guished writers, all bear testimony against the 
 demoralizing and highly corrupting influence of 
 theatres. They are among the most dangerouf 
 places to which young men can resort for amuse- 
 ment; and the safest course is to abstain fron? 
 them entirely. The love for this amusement, 
 like that for alcohol, grows imperceptibly, until 
 the heedless youth becomes its slave and its vic- 
 tim. And, therefore, as in regard to intoxicating 
 drinks, the only point of security, respecting tho 
 evil influences of theatres, is total abstinence! 
 
 Young men need not lack for proper amuse- 
 ment. By an enlightened discrimination, they 
 can find an abundant supply from sources not only- 
 innocent but instructive. Recreations in the open 
 air, for those whose occupations are sedentary — 
 the perusal of interesting books and other publi- 
 cations — the frequenting of well conducted read- 
 ing rooms, and an attendance at lyceums, and 
 other meetings for public lectures — all aflford 
 amusement combined with useful instructioR. 
 Social parties, and a frequent entrance into the 
 
180 AM0SEMFNT3. 
 
 rarious family circles of your friends, are prolific 
 sources of innocent recreation. And I can not 
 forbear urging young men (if, indeed, it is ne- 
 cessary to urge them) to frequent in tlveir lei- 
 sure hours, the company of intelligent and virtu- 
 ous females, of the class with whom they asso- 
 ciate. Nothing tends more to polish a young 
 man, and to refine his tastes and his manners, "^ 
 than the society of the virtuous of the other sex. 
 In such company, vulgarity and profanity will be 
 rebuked, and a guard will be placed upon the lip 
 and the actions, that can not but exercise a saluta- 
 ry tendency. 
 
 In conclusion, I would repeat that, in regard to 
 amusements, much depends upon the discretion, 
 the self-control and good sense of young men. 
 You desire to be respectable, prosperous, and 
 happy. But bear this truth in mind, that you 
 can not become so, except by your own exertions, 
 your own forbearance and discretion. Your inter- 
 ests and enjoyments are vitally involved in the 
 character of your amusements. Deeply fix the 
 resolution in your mind, to indulge in no recrea- 
 tion that is not of an innocent nature, and of a 
 strict moral tendency, and you will exhibit a wis- 
 dom productive of immense benefits. 
 
CHAPTER VI. .. 
 
 DRESS. 
 
 The primary object in dress, is to afford cover- 
 ing and comfort to the body, and to add to it a 
 comely and pleasing appearance. These are the 
 only essential reasons which render apparel ne- 
 cessary, and are the only proper purposes for 
 which it can be assumed. 
 
 There are two extremes in dress, into which 
 people often run — slovenliness, and foppery. It 
 should be the study of every young man to avoid 
 both these extremes, as a like violation of that 
 good taste and that self-respect which they should 
 ever cultivate. 
 
 Slovenliness in apparel, is exceedingly unbe- 
 i^oming to all, but highly so to youth. It plainly 
 evinces a lack of energy, of spirit, of taste, and of 
 a proper pride of appearing decently. There is 
 nothing that more plainly indicates slothfulness 
 and a want of bodily and mental vigor, than care- 
 lessness in respect to apparel. A young man of 
 this appearance will be viewed as of little worth 
 or promise. There is, however, a wide distine- 
 16 181 
 
183 DRESS. 
 
 lion between appearing in a slovenly manner, and 
 appearing in garments of a coarse texture, or that 
 hare been injured by use. A man may be arrayed 
 in clothes of the finest quality, and of the most 
 costly value, and yet from the careless manner in 
 uhich he assumes them, and the filth he allows 
 to collect upon them, may appear slovenly and un- ) 
 becoming. While he whose garments are poor ' 
 or threadbare, may appear even genteel, by the 
 car eand neatness he displays in their appearance. 
 It is not to be supposed that people of different oc- 
 cupations can dress in the same manner, or appear 
 with the same neatness. Some employments are 
 of that nature that the garments, despite the ut- 
 most care, soon become soiled ; but even in such 
 occupations, you can easily distinguish between 
 the slovenly and the tidy. There is no employ- 
 ment in which there cannot be a certain degree 
 of taste and care displayed in the dress. I would 
 not have the mechanic or the farmer, engage in 
 his business, starched and luflled — this would he 
 out of taste and propriety ; but each, of every' 
 calling, should have garments corresponding to 
 the peculiarities of their employment. And it 
 would be an equal destitution of propriety, to ap- 
 pear in company, or in the house of worship, with 
 clothes soiled and defaced by ordinary occupa- 
 tions, if you can consistently part with the means 
 to procure those that are more suitable. Allow 
 a sense of propriety to dictate in regard to these 
 things, and you will hardly fail of acting properly. 
 
DRESS. 
 
 188 
 
 Equally to be avoided is the other extreme of 
 foppery. This is a passion, an inordinate love 
 for dress. The head of the fop seems to be filled 
 with little else than fashions, colors, and figures. 
 But of all failings, this rage for dress is one of the 
 most simple and unmanly. That little children 
 should be pleased with bright colors, and pretty 
 figures, and glistening spangles, is not a matter 
 of astonishment. But that those who have grown 
 to the stature of men, and who have the appear- 
 ance of men, should still continue children, and 
 allow their minds to be engrossed by the frivoli- 
 ties of infancy, is truly surprising, and much to be 
 regretted. It is one of the most unerring indica- 
 tions of a weak intellect, a narrow capacity, and 
 a mind barren of every valuable qualification. — 
 Whenever you behold a man running nearly crazy 
 after the extremes of fashion, and arraying him- 
 self with all the frippery of a doll, you may, with- 
 out hesitation, set him down as one who has lit- 
 tle claim to manhood except his form. And, in- 
 deed, he seems to view himself in a similar light 
 —he appears to base all his pretensions to man- 
 hood and respectability, on the adornment of the 
 outward person ; on the cut and texture of his 
 clothes — at the same time allowing the mind to 
 be choked with the weeds of ignorance, or over- 
 run with the brambles of pride, vanity, and haughty 
 selfishness. 
 
 Young men, never aspire to the name o4*a fop« 
 Let all that is manly and noble in your minds, 
 
16^ DRESS. 
 
 arise in utter detestation of such a character. He 
 is an,object of the ridicule even of children of or- 
 dinary minds. Never permit yourselves to believe 
 that your rank in community, will depend upon 
 your dress — or that your worth will be estimated 
 by the cost, quality, or fashion of your garments. 
 The fop may weigh you in this balance, and liom 
 these things decide upon your value in his sight. 
 But, believe me, people of discernment — the great 
 mass of the thinking in society — will judge ot 
 your merits on different grounds. They look be- 
 yond the productions of the sheep and the silk- 
 worm — their opinions are not colored by logwood 
 and indigo — their views are not shaped by the 
 tailor's shears ! They penetrate beneath these 
 outward embellishments, and look at the moral 
 and intellectual worth of the individual. They 
 fully coincide in opinion with the poet, that 
 
 " Worth makes the man, and tcant of it, the fellow — 
 The rest is all but leather or prunella." 
 
 Dress is a poor criterion by which to judge of 
 the worth of a man. Who does not know that 
 the simpleton can dress in the same manner as the 
 wise man — and the knave as the honest and vir- 
 tuous? And if dress is .the only rule of judg- 
 ment, how can the one be distinguished from the 
 other ? You are not so weak as to suppose, that 
 by your dress, you can deceive those who are ac- 
 quainted with your character. If you are known 
 to be vicious and depraved, you may array your 
 
&RESS. 185 
 
 8elf in the most costly and fashionable apparel, 
 and yet you can not cover your wickedness. 
 When an acquaintance meets you, his judgment 
 is not in the least blinded, nor his memory blunt- 
 ed, by your dress — he immediately exclaims, men- 
 tally, " there goes the young man who spends all 
 his income in revelry and dissipation — there goes 
 the intemperate and licentious young man, or the 
 gamester, or the thief!" Of what avail are yor; 
 fine garments in such cases ? But when yo^t 
 character is good — when community are aware 
 that you are industrious, temperate and virtuous 
 — plain and neat garments will not lessen their 
 estimation of your worth, but will rather have a 
 tendency to increase it. 
 
 " It is an indication of a youth void of under- 
 standing, to be wholly occupied about the deco- 
 ration of his person, and the display of external 
 pomp and accomplishments. There is an atten- 
 tion to the decencies of dress, which is conducive 
 to the Well-being of society. But there are many 
 with whom the adorning of their persons, is the 
 principal source of self satisfaction, and the chief 
 business of life. Man is an intelligent being. 
 He has glorious faculties to exercise. What can 
 more strikingly indicate a want of that wisdom 
 by which such a being should be distinguished, 
 than to have his faculties absorbed and his am- 
 bition satisfied, with the transient varieties of ex- 
 ternal attire? Besides, how contemptible is the 
 distinction which is merely superficial. The beo 
 J6* 
 
]86 DRESS. 
 
 that gathers treasures from every flower, haq not 
 the finest coating. The eagle, that soars on ma- 
 jestic wings, to the birth of the morning, has not 
 the most glittering plumage. It is the butterfly, 
 that idly flutters on the passing breeze, which the 
 fopling emulates. The care of the body is more 
 with him, than the care of the mind. With use- 
 fulness and virtue, with knowledge and reason to 
 engage him, behold him the slave of a color, or a 
 fashion, placing his glory in that in which inferior 
 minds may often vie with him, and flowers and 
 plants excel him. Such a young man, whom 
 dress alone occupies and delights, will be claimed 
 by folly as her legitimate child. Wisdom rejects 
 him. Intelligence sighs over him, as a young 
 man void of understanding."* 
 
 The more gaily and fashionably I am dressed, 
 says the young man, the more readily am I smiled 
 upon by the ladies. This remark, as a general 
 rule, is unfounded, although it may be true in 
 some instances. But of what value can that 
 young lady be, or of what worth her esteem, who 
 judges of the character of her company solely by 
 their dress ? Suppose you could obtam such a 
 young lady for a companion, would she be a prize 
 worth the seeking ? I am confident that the great 
 majority of young ladies, prefer plainness and 
 neatness in the dress of their male associates, to 
 the extremes of the frivolous fop. Says a modem 
 writer, " take this as a secret worth half a fortune 
 • Bishop Dehon 
 
DRESS. ISt 
 
 to you, that women, however vain they may be 
 themselves, despise vanity in men /" 
 
 Let neatness and economy be your study m 
 dress. You should not be so far behind the fash- 
 ion as to be odd, nor one of those who are the 
 most forward ia seeking and adopting its changesj 
 but should conform to the general style of those 
 of your age and rank, in the community where 
 you reside. It was a remark of Dr. Franklin 
 that "our own eyes, at most, only cost us a paii 
 of spectacles; but other people's eyes cost us all 
 our gay dresses and splendid carriages." This is 
 true in respect to the great majority of the world. 
 But the wise and the independent youth should 
 dress to please his own eyes, and to suit his own 
 taste, rather than with an absorbing and slavish 
 desire to please the extravagant fancies of others. 
 In the former case, he would act as becometh an 
 intelligent and free man — in the latter, as one in 
 a degrading bondage. 
 
 Your great inquiry should not be, how many 
 new suits can I obtain in a year ? but it should 
 rather be, how long, by proper care, can I pre- 
 serve my old suit, and cause it to appear neat and 
 respectable? Prudence, economy, and good taste 
 call upon you to avoid in dress, both slovenliness 
 and carelessness on the one hand, and extrava- 
 gance and folly on the other. 
 
CHAPTER VII. 
 
 GENERAL DEMEANOR. 
 
 The standing which young men will occupy in 
 society, and their future success in life, depend 
 much upon the dem'eanor which they exhibit to 
 the world. To understand the manners and con- 
 duct of a gentleman, and to practice them, is one 
 good step toward permanent respectability. By 
 this I do not mean an aping of the frivolous words, 
 and phrases, and actions, of certain fashionable 
 ones, who would give the cue to public manners, 
 and decide upon gentility; but an acquaintance 
 and familiarity with those principles of propriety 
 and suavity, which ever characterize the conduct 
 of a true gentleman. To obtain the esteem and 
 good-will of your fellow-beings, one important 
 means is, to treat them in a gentle, agreeable and 
 respectful manner, as far as their situation and 
 merits will allow, and to conduct with propriety 
 in their presence. A few observations, therefore, 
 on general demeanor, can not be inappropriate. 
 
 Gentility f in the true acceptation of that word, 
 
 188 
 
GENERAL DEMEANOR. 189 
 
 is of great importance to young men. True gen- 
 tility is not that which exhibits itself only in a 
 boWj a simper, or the formal expression of a com- 
 pliment ; but it is that kindness in the heart and 
 that sense of propriety, "which enables you to 
 make yourself agreeable, and to conduct with de- 
 corum, in whatever company you may mingle. 
 Too little attention is paid to gentility by many, 
 whoj it would seem, should not be deficient there- 
 in. In the city of New York, many of the peo- 
 ple are in the habit of inviting to their dwellings, 
 the ministers who assemble every Spring to attend 
 the anniversaries of the great religious societies, 
 which concentrate in that city. But lli£se hospi- 
 table entertainers often found, much to their sur- 
 prise and regret, that the manners of many of their 
 clerical guests, were not strictly genteel. Furni- 
 ture and carpets ruined by a coating of mud, a 
 plentiful sprinkling of the expectoration of the 
 pipe, and of the juice of tobacco, and the relics of 
 half masticated quids, were the return which too 
 many received for their kindness. The evil even- 
 tually became so oppressive, that a few years 
 Bince, on the approach of one of these anniversa- 
 ries, precautionary notices were inserted in the 
 public prints of New York, calling upon the cler- 
 gymen who might attend, to avoid repeating these 
 instances of ill-breeding! Surely it would be 
 supposed, that the good sense of these gentlemen 
 would have screened them from these improprie- 
 ties. What can be more impolite than to stride- 
 
190 GENERAL DEMEANOR. 
 
 into a well-furnished apartnnent, with the feel 
 loaded willi mud, and in this < ondition sit down 
 and extend thera upon a chair or a sofa? How 
 destitute of common decency, to fill the apartment, 
 when others are present, with the suffocating 
 fumes of tobacco, or defile the mouth with that 
 loathsome weed, which would nauseate the stom- 
 ach of the swine, and scatter the filthy saliva 
 upon the carpets, the furniture, the jams of the 
 fire-place, and even upon the dresses of the com- 
 pany ! Every young man who would be consid- 
 ered as possessing good manners, should avoid 
 these and all like practices. They indicate a 
 total ignorance, or an entire disregard, of the dic- 
 tates of common propriety. 
 
 A swaggering, braggadocia air and manner, is 
 very rude and ungenteel. Some young men 
 seem to imagine that this is the proper way to ap- 
 pear of consequence in the eyes of others. But 
 herein they greatly mistake. High swelling 
 words, and haughty, bombastic airs, instead of 
 creating respect, invariably excite the ridicule 
 and contempt of the discriminating. People who 
 examine and try such bubbles, generally discover 
 beneath this outward bravado air, an empty mind, 
 and a cowardly yet cruel heart. If you endeavor 
 to stcell yourself into consequence, your fate, 
 without doubt, will be that of the frog in the fa- 
 ble, which es-ayed tj expand to the size of the ox. 
 "If," says Q,uarles, "thou desirest to be truly 
 valiant, fear to do any injury ; he that fears not 
 
GENERAL DEMEANOR. 101 
 
 to do evil, is always afraid to suffer evil: he thai 
 never fears is desperate, and he that always fears 
 is a coward. He is truly valiant who dares noth- 
 ing but what he may, and fears nothing but what 
 he ought." In company, your carriage should 
 be distinguished neither by swagger upon the one 
 hand, nor extreme bashfulness on the other. You 
 should occupy the medium ground of these ex- 
 tremes — you should be calm, self-possessed, com- 
 placent, and agreeable, as far as possible — pre- 
 pared to receive or give those attentions that are 
 called for by circumstances. 
 
 Politeness to ladies, should never be forgotten 
 or neglected on any occasion, or in any circum- 
 stances. To illustrate, I will mention an occur- 
 rence which lately took place, to the knowledge 
 of the writer. In the early part of the Fall of 
 1836, a few ladies residing in the lower part of 
 the city of New-York, accompanied by some fe- 
 male friends visiting the city, were caught late in 
 the afternoon, by a severe shower, while walking 
 in the suburbs of the town. While in this con- 
 dition, far from their residence, exposed to the 
 rain, which was falling in torrents, a train of cars 
 approached on the rail-road from Harlaem, filled 
 with men inside, but with abundance of room on 
 the outer seats. The ladies hailed the driver of 
 the horses, and requested a passage into town. 
 But before he could reply, they were answered by 
 a general and vociferous — "No — no — drive on — 
 drive on !" from the gentlemen within — and on 
 
199 GENKRAL DEMEANOH. 
 
 they went, leaving the ladies to their fate ! Figure 
 to yourself the condition of the parties, and then 
 ask yourself whether there was a genuine gentle- 
 man within those cars? There could not have 
 been one, or he would have raised his voice in be- 
 half of females in this unpleasant condition. Let 
 these circumstances be remembered, as an in- 
 stance where great impoliteness was displayed. 
 
 Politeness demands that a gentleman should 
 incommode himself to confer a favor upon a lady, 
 or an aged or weakly person. In company, there- 
 fore, or in any assemblage, never continue sitting, 
 while females or the aged are standing unprovi- 
 ded with seats. In stage-coaches, or other con- 
 ditions where females are compelled to bear you 
 company, avoid all vulgar or immodest language, 
 all indelicate allusions — they would be both im- 
 polite and ungenerous. A female correspondent, 
 in Avriting to the Editor of the Spectator, (No. 
 242,) says — " I had the fate of meeting with a 
 rude fellow in a stage-coach, who entertained 
 two or three women of us (for there was no man 
 beside himself) with language as indecent as 
 ever was heard upon the water. The impertinent 
 observations which the coxcomb made upon our 
 shame and confusion, were such that it is an un- 
 speakable grief to reflect upon them. It would 
 certainly be worth your consideration to look in- 
 to the frequent misfortunes of this kind, to which 
 the modest and innocent are exposed by the licen- 
 tious behavior of such as are as much strangers 
 
GENERAL DEMEANOR. 193 
 
 to good breeding as to virtue. Could we avoid 
 hearing what we do not approve, as easily as we 
 can seeing what is disagreeable, there Avere some 
 consolation ; but since in a box at a play, in an 
 assembly of ladies, or even in a pew at church, it 
 is in the power of a gross coxcomb to utter what 
 a woman can not avoid hearing, how miserable is 
 her condition who comes within the power of 
 such impertinents ? and how necessary is it to re- 
 peat invectives against such a behavior? If the 
 licentious had not utterly forgotten what it is to be 
 modest, they would know that offended modesty 
 labors under one of the greatest sufferings to 
 which human life can be exposed. If one of these 
 brutes could reflect thus much, though they want 
 shame, they would be moved by their pity, to ab- 
 hor an impudent behavior in the presence of the 
 chaste and innocent." In circumstances like 
 these, where people of both sexes are casually 
 brought into each other's company, the gentleman 
 can readily be distinguished from the ill-bred and 
 unmannerly, by his respectful attentions and 
 deference to the ladies. 
 
 An affable and sociable disposition is another 
 important component of the general demeanor. 
 A sour, morose disposition — a stoical indifference 
 exhibited towards those in your presence — are the 
 most certain means of becoming disliked and neg- 
 lected in turn. He who displays great hauteur in 
 his conduct — who refrains from conversation, ex- 
 cept with a select few— who answers a remark ad- 
 
IM GENLRAL DEMEANOR. 
 
 dressed to him, only by a cold and formal inclina- 
 tion of the body, or by a monosyII;iljl(-' — will soon 
 be left to liis solitary grandeur, lo amuse himself by 
 his own communings. He will be avoided as an 
 ice-berg, that freezes up the flow of social feeling. 
 A disposition of this character is to be avoided. 
 
 To be condescending and social in your inter- 
 course with society, is an effectual me hod of ob- 
 taining general good will. Politicians understand 
 this principle of human nature. Hence it is not 
 uncommon, upon the approach of an election, to 
 behold candidates for office, who had before been 
 distant and very reserved in their intercourse with 
 the common people, become suddenly exceeding- 
 ly affable and sociable. None are so poor or so 
 rough, but they can be spoken to, and shaken 
 heartily by the hand, their families inquired after, 
 and an interest manifested in all their affairs ! 
 And, it is to be feared, that too often, by these 
 means, the aspirant accomplishes his purposes. 
 Now the disposition which, in such instances is 
 hypocritically exhibited, I w^ould have you always 
 cherish in your heart and manifest in your con- 
 duct. The man who is good enough for you to 
 shake hands with, and converse sociably with, 
 previous to an election, is worthy of the same at- 
 tentions afterward. Banish all haughtiness — be 
 condescending, and affable, and sociable — bestow 
 proper notice and attention upon ail with whom 
 you mingle, and' you can not well fail to occupy 
 a good standing in their estimation. 
 
GENERAL DEMEANOR. 195 
 
 Kindness is another characteristic of the gen« 
 eral demeanor, which should be cultivated. There 
 is no trait in human nature more lovely and cap- 
 tivating, or more highly calculated to win regard 
 and esteem, than a kind disposition. To be 
 obliging and accomi- odating, as far as lies in your 
 power, to your neighbors and those with whom 
 you have intercourse, will obtain their friendship 
 and affection — and not only so, but wjll secure 
 their assistance when you stand in need of it. It 
 is related by a certain writer, that " two neigh- 
 bors, one blind and the other lame, were called to 
 a place at a great distance. What was to bo 
 done ? The blind man could not see, and the 
 lame man could not walk ! Why, the blind man 
 carried the lame one : the former assisting by his 
 legs, and the other by his eyes." Here Avas a 
 reciprocity of good offices, mutually beneficial. 
 In the " Hotel des Invalids," of Paris, an asylum 
 for the wreck of the Imperial armies of France, 
 it is said that an old blind soldier is often seen 
 holding a book for a companion who has lost his 
 arms, who reads aloud for the edification of both. 
 By this mutual kindness, the misfortunes of both 
 are, to a great extent, remedied. " Mankind are 
 so much indebted to each other," says Duclos, 
 "that they owe mutual attention." 
 
 However prosperous may be our present con- 
 dition, we are all subject to misfuriune, and may, 
 ere long, stand in need of the assistance of others. 
 And in this condition, who the most readilv and 
 
196 GENERAL DEMEANOR. 
 
 promptly receives the aid of his fellow-citizens ; 
 the man whose former life has been characterized 
 by a niggardly, uncharitable disposition — whose 
 ear had always been deaf, and his hand closed to 
 the supplications of distress — or he who has beea 
 generous, open-hearted, kind, and benevolent? 
 This inquiry is immediately answered in your 
 minds. In community, the man of shining talents 
 is admired — he who is upright and honest, is re- 
 spected — butthe kind, obliging neighbor is loved! 
 He is surrounded by a host of friends, without 
 having an enemy. 
 
 The power of kindness in overcoming opposi- 
 tion, and in subduing enemies, is immense. It is 
 related that a father, who had a stubborn and re- 
 fractory son, resorted to every severe measure in 
 his power to reform him, but without avail. In 
 vain he again and again applied the rod — the only 
 perceptible eflect was to harden him in his wilful- 
 ness. At length the father became d iscouraged — 
 in his despair the rod dropped from his hand — he 
 burst into a flood of tears, and bewailed the stub- 
 born sinfulness of his child. Instantly the heart 
 of the son v/as pierced as with a dart of fire — with 
 quivering lips and streaming eyes, he exclaimed, 
 " Whip me, father ! do whip me as much as you 
 will ; but don't cry !" Behold the power of kind- 
 ness. The boy who could look with unflinching 
 nerve upon the uplifted rod, was subdued into 
 submission in a moment, by a gush of tender af- 
 fection ! Hence wc perceive the wisdom and phi- 
 
OKNERAL DEMEANOR, Wf 
 
 losophy of the Saviour's commandment: " Love 
 your enemies." Instead of retaliating upon your 
 enemies, and endeavoring in all ways to injure 
 them, which would cause their hatred to burn 
 still more fiercely, love them — exhibit toward 
 them no emotigns but those of kindness and good 
 will. A perseverance in this course, will most 
 certainly destroy their enmity, overcome their 
 opposition, and gain their friendship. It is upon 
 these sound principles that the public ambassador 
 of the Gospel of the Redeemer, v/ho has an en- 
 lightened view of his duties, and who appreciates 
 the true spirit and intent of the Gospel, depends, 
 in turning the sinner from the error of his way. 
 He displays the love of God — the impartial and 
 boundless beneficence and kindness which exists 
 in his bosom towards all his creatures — and de- 
 pends far more upon the influences of this display 
 of goodness in arresting the transgressor in his 
 course, and reforming his disposition, than upon 
 the threatenings of the law. The massive ice 
 presents a stubborn resistance to the assaults of 
 man to remove it ; but under the influence of the 
 genial warmth of the rays of the sun, it freely and 
 gently melts and disappears. It is said of the 
 celebrated Bishop Cranmer, that whoever did him 
 an injury, was almost sure of receiving some fa- 
 vor from him. There was true philosophy in this 
 course. 
 
 " Nature has given man a full suit of armor 
 against his foes — an armor easy to be worn, and 
 ♦ 17* 
 
198 GENERAL DF.MEANOR. 
 
 ready at liand. It is the panoply of kindness. 
 This is a sure protection against rage and vio- 
 lence, and revenge. It not only defends him who 
 wears it, but subdues his adversaries. Physical 
 force may he resisted — cunning may be met with 
 cunning — but there is no withstanding the power 
 of kindness. He who keeps this armor bright by 
 use, need not fear the threats, or the fury, or the 
 malice of others. He would not be more safe 
 were he enclosed in walls of brass. The ill-will 
 of an enemy can not be torn away by the tempest 
 of violence ; but it can be melted by the bright 
 beams of kindness. ' If thine enemy hunger, 
 feed him ; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so 
 doing, thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.' "* 
 Good humor is a disposition which young men 
 should endeavor to infuse into th«ir general de- 
 meanor. He who is sour, ill-natured, and petu- 
 lant, is a pest to himself, his friends, if he has 
 any, and all with whom he mingles. He is liable 
 to gain the dislike of all, and his company is 
 avoided, as a kind of fire-brand, calculated to set 
 into a blaze every thing around him. But by 
 cultivating a spirit of good humor — which is easy 
 to be pleased, overlooks trifling vexations, and in- 
 fuses upon the countenance a complacent smile, 
 instead of a dark frown— you will have a source 
 of self-satisfaction, your presence will be agreea- 
 ble, and your company will be sought after. It 
 should be your endeavor to avoid all outbreaking* 
 
 ♦ Counsels to the Young. 
 
 9 
 
GENERAL &£M£AKOR. 100 
 
 of anger and rage. Anger is much like a maga- 
 zine of powder — if permitted to ignite and ex- 
 plode, it will most surely blow to atoms your own 
 happiness, for the time being, and also be very 
 liable to injure that of the persons near you. 
 During paroxysms of anger words are uttered and 
 actions performed, often of the most ridiculous 
 and reprehensible character, and of which you 
 will afterward become most heartily ashamed. 
 The advice given by Athenodorus the philoso- 
 pher, to Augustus Cesar, is of great value: "Re- 
 member, Cesar, whenever you are angry, that you 
 neither say nor do any thing, before you have re- 
 peated to yourself the twenty-four letters of the 
 alphabet." This admirable rule, or something of 
 a like character, should be adopted by every young 
 man, as a kind of safety-valve, that will permit 
 the first rush of angry feelings to pass off, before 
 they induce any improper action. 
 
 I cannot refrain from again urging young men 
 to frequent the company of virtuous females. It 
 will impart gracefulness, urbanity, and polish to 
 their general demeanor — a purity, modesty, and 
 propriety to their conversation and manners — 
 which they can not obtain elsewhere. No man, 
 except he possesses feelings of a brutish nature, 
 can fail to become more exalted and refined, by 
 often mingling in female company, where modes- 
 ty and enlightened virtue prevails. 
 
 In conclusion, remember that " gentility is nei 
 thr: *n birth, fortune, manner, nor fashion, but 
 
200 C^NERAL DEMEANOR. 
 
 inmind! A high sense of honor — a determina- 
 tion never to take a mean advantage of another — 
 an adherence to truth, delicacy, and politeness, 
 towards those with whom you mingle, or may 
 have dealings — are the essential and iislinguish- 
 ing characteristics of a gentleman." 
 
CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 CULTIVATING THE MIND. 
 
 That there is a striking distinction between 
 the capabilities of mankind and those of animals, 
 is a self-evident truth. The cause of this vast 
 disparity, consists in the- endowments bestowed 
 by the creative Hand, for the guidance of the 
 diflferent races. Instinct is the highest capacity 
 possessed by the brutes. Through its influences, 
 they are enabled to obtain food for the sustenance 
 of the body, and also to take measures to secure 
 themselves from threatening danger. These be- 
 ing the only wants of the animal races, the pow- 
 ers of instinct are amply sufficient to afford every 
 needed supply ; and the Creator has thus granted 
 them all they can ask in consistency with their 
 nature and scale of being. But man has been 
 endowed with the higher and more diversified 
 powers of Mind. These crown him lord of this 
 world — these form the grand, and indeed, the 
 only distinction between him and the brute 
 wojtld— -thp^e enable J»m not only to supply alj 
 
 201 
 
202 CULTIVATING THE MINO. 
 
 the wants of his body, but also to rule over the 
 animal creation, and convert them to his purposes. 
 
 The human mind, who can describe ?— who 
 can fathom its capabilities ? — who can measure 
 its mighty powers? — who can mark the limit of 
 its upv/ard flight toward infinite Perfection?- 
 Wonderful faculties ! which annihilate time, and 
 enable us to live in a moment, as it were, through 
 a thousand ages of the recorded Past, or of the 
 imagined Future ! Inscrutable powers I which 
 enable us to overleap space, and in an instant, to 
 traverse the earth from pole to pole, and from 
 meridian run the vast circle to meridian ! — which 
 enable us to soar aloft to the bright stars of lieav- 
 en, and to stray from planet to planet, and from 
 system to system, throughout the azure fields of 
 ether ! Incomprehensible mind ! guided by faith, 
 on swift expanded wing, it can urge its flight up, 
 far, far up, through illimitable extent, and bow in 
 gratitude and love before the very throne of om- 
 nipotent Goodness ! 
 
 What has not been accomplished by the hu- 
 man mind ? It has not only sought out means by 
 which every luxury has been procured for the 
 body — it has not only improved and expanded its 
 own powers, and elevated the human race from 
 ignorance and barbarity, to civilization and the 
 possession of an immensity of k.iowledge — but it 
 has made the elements its servants ; it has pene- 
 trated deep into the properties and operations of 
 nature's laws, and ascertained to no inconsidera- 
 
CULTIVATING THE MIND. 203 
 
 ble extent, the perfect principles upon which the 
 Mighty One upholds and directs the works of his 
 hand ! Yet, amid all its deep researches, amid 
 all its surprising discoveries, the mind has not yet 
 fathomed its own wonderful capabilities ; it can 
 not yet even conceive of the unmeasured extent, 
 the vast height and depth, the length and breadth, 
 verging to infinity, of the knowledge its far-reach- 
 ing powers are capable of grasping ! Truly has 
 man been created in the image of his God — truly 
 is his intellect a transcript, an emanation, of the 
 Infinite Mind ! 
 
 Young men, should the powers of that heaven- 
 ly mind with which you have been endowed, be 
 overlooked, neglected, forgotten ? With the in- 
 valuable cluster of mental faculties which you 
 possess, and which only need exercise, to gush 
 forth in streams of pure, high, holy enjeyment, 
 will you pass them by, as unworthy your atten- 
 tion, and join with the brute, in a career of low, 
 bodily gratification? Every manly and enno- 
 bling impulse within you, cries out against such 
 a dishonorable course ! 
 
 There is not only a wide distinction between 
 the powers of instinct and of mind, but also in 
 their natures. In instinct there is no perceptible 
 improvement. All its powers are imparted at 
 once. The bird builds its nest, the bee seeks its 
 delicious nectar, the beaver constructs its hut and 
 Its dam, with the same unerring precision on the 
 first effort, as after years of practice. Neither is 
 
20A CULTIVATING THE MIND. 
 
 there auy improvement in their races. The birt.\ 
 
 the bee, ihe beaver, indeed all animals, perform 
 their various avocations with no more perfection 
 now, than when they came forth from the ark of 
 Noah. Instinct, it is true, is susceptible of a 
 very limited improvement in some animals, when 
 aided by man's reason. But it does not possess 
 loithin liseJf, the least power of improvement. 
 But the mind of man is constituted on principles 
 entirely different. Of all living beings, none, 
 probably, are more ignorant and helpless, than 
 the new-born infant. The barking whelp of the 
 same age, evinces much more knowledge, than 
 the feeble offspring of man, a few days or weeks 
 old. But in that cradled nursling slumber the 
 faculties and energies of a mighty mind, which, 
 under proper cultivation, can be improved to an 
 extent now incomprehensible! Thus instinct 
 exercises its power without cultivation ; but man 
 must improve and exercise ];is mental faculties, 
 before he can enjoy the high advantages they are 
 capable of bestowing. 
 
 The Creator has seen proper so to constitute 
 the human mind, that it much resembles the rich 
 soil of a garden. When destitute of cultivation, 
 it will be overgrown by the weeds and briars of 
 ignorance — useless in themselves, and the source 
 of great evil — with here and there, perhaps, a 
 sickly plant of knowledge, struggling for exist- 
 ence, amid choking thorns and thistles. And the 
 more powerful the natural capabilities of minds 
 
CULTIYATINQ THE MIND. 206 
 
 in such state, the greater the evils flowing from 
 a want of culture, as the richest soil shoots up the 
 rankest weeds. To be duly benefited by the 
 elevated capabilities with which the Creator has 
 endowed man, the soil of the mind must be prop- 
 perly tilled ; the weeds and brambles must be ex- 
 terminated, root and branch. And not only so, 
 but the seeds of knowledge must be sown — the 
 tender plants, as they spring up, must be nursed, 
 and watered, and warmed into a vigorous growth, 
 by instruction and reflection, and all the numer- 
 ous aids that abound. In this manner the tree of 
 knowledge will grow and enlarge ; its branches 
 will expand, and, ere long, be clothed with beau- 
 tiful blossoms ; and in due time, a rich and pre- 
 cious harvest of invaluable wisdom, will be the 
 reward of these labors. 
 
 The mind will not remain dormant and idle. 
 If its energies and capabilities are not summoned 
 to the acquisition of useful knowledge, they will 
 submit to the dictation of ignorance and supersti- 
 tion, and under their control, will become loaded 
 with those dark and erroneous conceptions, which 
 are the fruitful source of unspeakable evil. If 
 the intellectual capacities are not sufficiently cul- 
 tivated and enlightened to be your master, to con- 
 trol and direct you, they will become powerful 
 assistants to evil propensities — if they are not led 
 to the aid of virtue and truth, they will volunteer 
 in the service of sin and error: m their blindness 
 ney will marshal the passions in battle array, 
 
208 CULTIVATINQ THE MIND. 
 
 and lead thorn on to the attack of every thing vir- 
 tuous and comuiendablc, and to the destruction ot 
 every pure, racional, and proper source of enjoy- 
 ment. 
 
 It is a law of our bodily and mental nature, as 
 now constituted, that no good can be obtained 
 no real benefit secured, no proper enjoyment ex- 
 perienced, without a corresponding exertion to 
 procure it. Hence, if you make no effort to cul- 
 tivate the mind and improve your faculties, you 
 will remain in ignorance, and be compelled to 
 experience all the manifold evils that flow from 
 ignorance. But to secure all the advantages and 
 all the enjoyments of an enlightened intellect, 
 you must summon industry and perseverance to 
 your aid, and properly cultivate the powers God 
 has given you. 
 
 Are there not, then, young men, inducements 
 abounding, sufficient to urge you to a proper cul- 
 tivation of the mind ? Let me direct your atten- 
 tion to a few further considerations. A mind 
 properly cultivated, becomes the source of much 
 unalloyed enjoyment. The bacchanalian over 
 his cups — the debauchee in his revels — the un- 
 principled in their career of crime — sometimes 
 experience fleeting sensations, which they denom- 
 inate enjoyment. But these, at best, are but mo- 
 ments of fitful excitement, that can not properly 
 be dignified by the name of happiness. They 
 are, in reality, evils disguised in those alluring 
 robes which decoy their dupes to certain wretch- 
 
CULTIVATINfl THE MIND. 207 
 
 edness — and millions of miserable victims, can 
 testify from experience, that at last, they "bite 
 like a serpent, and sting like an adder." These 
 delusive excitements are truly represented by the 
 book of the Revelator, which was sweet in the 
 1 mouth, but bitter, bitter, in the stomach ! Why 
 should rational beings seek those misnamed pleas- 
 ui-es, that are invariably followed by more than 
 an equal amount of pain and wretchedness ? es- 
 pecially, when there are numerous sources of 
 happiness within their reach, without any of this 
 alloy ! 
 
 The enjoyments springing from a well culti- 
 vated mind, are exalted and exquisite in nature, 
 without any intermixture of succeeding unhappi- 
 ness. They flow from fountains entirely discon- 
 nected from, and elevated above, the passions, and 
 are not, therefore, subject to their fluctuations. 
 Compare the pleasures of the student with those 
 of the profligate. The student goes on in acqui- 
 sition, from truth to truth, obtaining clearer and 
 brighter views of the wonderful laws of science 
 and of nature, and the amazing displays of infi- 
 nite wisdom which abound. He perceives every 
 where, the utmost knowledge and perfe'ction at 
 work, adapting means to produce wise and benev- 
 olent ends. He obtains an understanding of the 
 curious in art, and the wonderful in philosophy. 
 And as his mind expands and his wisdom increases, 
 in these researches, a pure stream of enjoyment 
 pours into bis heart, with an influence sweet as 
 
9Qt CCLTIVAIINQ ril£ MIND. 
 
 the dews of Herraon. These pleasures are unal- 
 loyed — tliey never satiate the appetite — they cause 
 no disease, pain, or decrepitude — but they in- 
 crease in delight as they increase in abundance! 
 But not so with the protiigate. The nnore he in- 
 dulges in what he calls his pleasures, the deeper 
 he sinks in corruption and degradation — the of- 
 tener he gives way to his unbridled passions, the 
 less power do they possess of bestowing enjoy- 
 ment, the greater is the pain they induce, and the 
 Xnore entirely does he become their slave — until 
 every sense is palled, every taste is blunted, every 
 source of rational gratification is destroyed ; and 
 he goes downward to the grave, a miserable, de- 
 crepid, idiotic caricature of humanity ! 
 
 A cultivated mind, is one of the most ijnportant 
 requisites in obtaining a respectable standing in 
 society. The least degree of discrimination will 
 satisfy you of the truth of this assertion. Who 
 are respected in community ? — who move in the 
 highest circles? — who are selected to fill stations 
 of trust, of responsibility, and honor ? Your own 
 experience will testify that they are men of culti- 
 vated minds. In this land of republican equality, 
 there are no privileged orders, no feudal system, 
 to foist men into stations for which they are un- 
 fitted. But he who would rise to distinction here, 
 must depend upon his own resources — must as- 
 cend by his own merits and capabilities. In this 
 land, the truth of the poet's words are fully ex- 
 emplified— 
 
CtJLTlVATINQ THE MIND. 209 
 
 ,».- "Honor and fame, from no condition rise: 
 
 Act well your part— /Aere all the honor lies." 
 
 And need I say, that to " act well your part," in 
 this enlightened age and country, a cultivated 
 mind is indispensable ? Without it, your pros- 
 pects of elevation and honor, are dark and un- 
 promising. You can not reasonably expect to rise 
 above the rank you now occupy, without a dili- 
 gent application to the enlightenment of the mind. 
 
 A cultivated mind is essential to insure pros- 
 perity in any circumstances. There is no proper 
 profession, occupation, or calling in which men 
 engage, where an enlightened mind will not di- 
 rectly tend to prosperity. " Knowledge is pow- 
 er." He who possesses knowledge, has resources 
 at his command to aid in every undertaking, of 
 which the ignorant man is wholly deprived. 
 Compare those who have been successful in life — 
 who have arisen from obscurity to fame, from 
 poverty to wealth — with those who have always 
 remained in obscurity, or have been reduced from 
 wealth to poverty, and, as a general rule, you will 
 discover that while the former are men who have 
 cultivated their minds, the latter are ignorant and 
 unlettered. i 
 
 In cultivating the mind, three things are neces- 
 sary to insure successful progress, viz., applica- ' 
 tion, industry, and perseverance. Whatever may 
 be your condition in life, by calling these to 
 your aid, your can hardly fail of succeeding, to 
 the extent of your aspirations. Are you wealthy, 
 18* 
 
Mi Ct7LTtVAttN0 THE MlMD. 
 
 and surrounded by numerous advantages ? Still 
 without industrious application, you can make no 
 improvement, no progress. A score of tutors 
 may attend you Without avail, unless you call 
 your ovkfn energies into activity. They can not 
 study for you, or think or learn for you. You 
 must do this for yourself, or remain in ignorance j 
 you must severely task the powers of your own 
 mind) or continue under all the disadvantages of 
 a want of cultivation. Are you poor? — destitute 
 of means and advantages ? These circumstances 
 should not discourage you. A resolution nobly 
 and firmly formed, to triumph over the difficulties 
 that surround you, and sustained by industry and 
 perseverance, will make you almost any thing you 
 choose to be. A poor stammering boy of ancient 
 Greece, resolved to become an orator, although 
 to appearance, wholly unfitted to succeed in his 
 determination. But for him, application and per- 
 severance did every thing. With untiring indus* 
 try, he cultivated his mind. la the caves of the 
 mountains, and beside the boisterous ocean, he 
 trained his powers, until success crowned his ef- 
 forts. Even m those days of eloquence, he 
 charmed and astonished all Greece, and transmit- 
 ted the name of Demosthenes, to the latest gen- 
 erations of men. The celebrated Dr. Alexander 
 Murray, Avas the son of a poor shepherd in Scot- 
 land. He learned his alphabet from the board of 
 an old wool-card, whereon his father marked the 
 letters with the burnt end of a root taken from the 
 
CCLTIVATINQ THE MIND. 211 
 
 fire. From this humble condition, by an indus 
 trious and unwearied cultivation of the mind, he 
 arose to an eminence as a scholar, to which few 
 can expect to attain ! Many instances might be 
 cited in our own land, where, by application to 
 mental culture, men have arisen from obscurity 
 to eminence and renown. Thus poverty, an hum- 
 ble origin, or disadvantageous circumstances, need 
 not be an insurmountable obstacle to the cultiva- 
 tion of the mind, or to an elevation in respecta- 
 bility and public esteem. 
 
 In cultivating the mind, you should exercise a 
 proper command over its powers. There is no 
 habit more fatal to rapid improvement, than to 
 permit the attention of the mind to be distracted 
 by a variety of objects. You should sway suffi- 
 cient control over the mental faculties, to concen- 
 trate them at will, on any given subject, until you 
 have become acquainted with its properties. And 
 when your attention is directed to the acquisition 
 of any particular branch of knowledge, let it be 
 the object of all your energies and labors, until 
 it is fully attained, and stored safely m the re* 
 pository of wisdom. 
 
 Patience is necessary in improving the mind. 
 There are many discouraging circumstances at- 
 tending even the most successful students. But 
 patience will enable you to triumph over every 
 difficulty. Patience will dig down mountains and 
 fill up valleys — it will enable the simple to become 
 enlightened, and the enlightened to excel in wis- 
 
213 COLTIVATINQ THE MINO. 
 
 dom. You should not be frightened at perplex- 
 ing and knotty points in your studies. Some 
 minds are inclined to slide easily around such ob- 
 structions, and travel on in ignorance of their 
 merits. This is a deleterious practice, and to be 
 especially avoided. Look every question fairly 
 in the face — attack it manfully and vigorously— 
 penetrate thoroughly to its foundations — and all 
 its mysteries will soon be unfolded to your com- 
 prehension. In this manner you will not only 
 secure the knowledge enclosed in the difficult 
 point, but will exercise and train the mind into 
 increased strength and power. 
 
 A frequent recourse to the instructions of the 
 aged, is a valuable and pleasant method of im- 
 provement. The aged have for many years been 
 collecting wisdom, both theoretically and practi 
 cally ; and they are happy to impart to the young 
 from their fund of information. Much practical 
 instruction can, therefore, be gathered from the 
 conversation of the aged. But they must be per- 
 mitted to proceed in their own way. They will 
 relate scenes they have participated in, describe 
 sights they have witnessed, experiments they have 
 seen tried, and theories that they have beheld 
 tested. In these narrations, you will hear many 
 wise sayings and aphorisms — much useful infor- 
 mation, interlarded with adventure and anecdote j 
 you will hear relations delineating the workings 
 of human passions, evincing the evils of igno- 
 tance, tlvi wretchedness flowing from error, the 
 
CULTIVATING THE MIND. 213 
 
 folly of indulging in sinfulness, the misery and 
 pain which it invariably entails upon itsvotaries, 
 and the wisdom of walking without deviation in 
 the i)ath of virtue, probity, and temperance. In 
 thus unloading their minds to the young, the aged 
 are capable of imparting lessons abounding in the 
 rich instructions of precept and example. 
 

 CHAPTER IX 
 
 ESTABLISHING FIXED PRINCIPLES. 
 
 In his physical creation, the Deity has estah 
 lished causes which operate with unswerving cer- 
 tainty — which invariably produce the same effect. 
 A certain degree of heat will always burn — and a 
 certain amount of cold, as certainly, will always 
 freeze. The Creator has also established moral 
 laws for the government of the human race, which 
 are as sure in their operations, and as undeviating 
 in their effects, as his natural laws ; although their 
 movements and influences are not so evident to 
 the eye of the spectator. Fire will no more cer- 
 tainly burn, than will a vicious action, sooner oi 
 later, cause unhappiness to him who is guilty of 
 it. This principle in morals is as immutably 
 fixed, as the pillars of Jehovah's throne. And 
 when this important truth of the certainty of 
 punishment for every wilful violation of the mor- 
 al law of God — a truth which runs through the 
 whole extent of the Scriptures, and which is tes- 
 tified to by the experience of all ages— is believed 
 
 214 
 
ESTABLISHING FIXED PRINCIPLES. 215 
 
 attd settled in the heart, there will be no more 
 inducement to commit a known crime, than to 
 walk into the burning flame ! 
 
 Young men, do you believe these propositions? 
 do you believe there is a just and certain punish- 
 ment awaiting you, for every deed that is morally 
 wrong ? — and a punishment, too, from which there 
 is no escape ? — If you do not — if you imagine 
 that immorality of any character will make you 
 happy, and that you can escape the evil conse- 
 quences flowing from it — you are truly in a pitia- 
 ble condition — you are treading a dangerous 
 path — you are under the sway of a delusion, 
 which, beyond all possibility of doubt, will lead 
 you into pain, and grief and wretchedness. But 
 •if your minds have become sufficiently enlight- 
 ened to adopt the belief, sanctioned by divine 
 revelation and the whole history of our race, that 
 moral guilt of every description, is the cause of 
 certain unhappiness and degradation, you have 
 adopted a wise opinion; and if faithfully adhered 
 to and practiced, it will save you from the most 
 fruitful sources of earthly wretchedness. 
 • With these reflections in view, you will per- 
 ceive the necessity of establishing, at the outset 
 of life, certain fixed principles of moral conduct, 
 to which you will rigidly adhere in all your in- 
 tercourse with the world. These principles will, 
 of course, be of a character corresponding to the 
 career which you desire to run through life. Il 
 it is your inclination and ambition to mingle with 
 
216 ESTABLISHING FIXFD PRINCIPLES. 
 
 the vicious and depraved — to become a miserable, 
 degraded, despised outcast — a bloated, delormed, 
 diseased libel upon the form and name of man — 
 a raovmg pestilence, a stench in the nostrils of 
 community — the object of the scorn, and contempt, 
 and disgust of the virtuous of your fellow-be- 
 ings — if these are the circumstances to which 
 you aspire, you will adopt your principles accord ^ 
 ingly ; you will determine to be unprincipled, 
 vicious, intemperate, profane, cruel and revenge- 
 ful — and your desired degradation will speedily 
 and unavoidably follow. But if, more wisely, 
 you are ambitious to obtain the good will of soci- 
 ety — to become respected, loved, honored — to be 
 successful in your business undertakings, and to 
 receive the aid of friends in times of need — il 
 you desire to possess that peace of mind, that 
 calm satisfaction and complacency, which form 
 the foundation of all true happiness — you must 
 adopt principles of a corresponding nature — 
 principles directly the reverse of those above 
 enumerated. Remember that a good standing in 
 society — a character of respectability — can never 
 be obtained by an adherence to vicious principles. 
 The one is entirely incompatible with the other — 
 13 as impossible in the very nature of things, as 
 for the streams of water to rush back to their 
 fountains. 
 
 I repeat, you must choose and adopt the prin- 
 ciples by which you would be governed— you 
 must establish them in the heart, lay them up io 
 
ESTABLISHING FIXED PRINCIPLES. 217 
 
 the mind, as landmarks for future direction, 
 " When an mithor has stood a thorough exami- 
 nation, and will bear to be taken as a guide, I put 
 him on the shelf. When I have fully made up 
 my mind on the correctness and value of a prin- 
 ciple^ I put it on the shelf of the mind. A hun- 
 dred subtle objections may be brought against this 
 principle ; a hundred temptations to violate it ; I 
 may meet with some of them, perhaps ; but my 
 principle is on the shelf. Generally I may be 
 able to recall the reasons which weighed with me 
 to put it there ; but if not, I am not to be sent 
 out to sea again. Time was when I saw through 
 and detected all the subtleties that could be 
 brought against it. I have past evidence of hav- 
 ing been fully convinced ; and there on the shelf 
 it shall be." 
 
 I can not refrain from enumerating two or three 
 important moral principles, which every wise 
 young man should adopt and adhere to» Have 
 you formed the resolution to pursue a course in 
 life which shall secure the respect, the esteem 
 and confidence of community at large? It is a 
 noble, manly resolve : and of itself is one good 
 step towards success in its completion. Let me 
 say to you, that — 
 
 Honesty is one of the first and most important 
 principles to be adopted, to secure this end. That 
 " honesty is the best policy," is a proverb univer- 
 sally allowed to be true. Never swerve from the 
 t<»chings of this proverb, even in the most trivial 
 19 
 
218 ESTABLISHING FIXED PRINCIPLES. 
 
 degree, on any occasion, however trying. When 
 you are assailed by temptation to defraud another, 
 stop one moment and reflect — call to mind the 
 above maxim and reason with yourself: " If hon- 
 esty is the best policy, then dishonesty in any re- 
 spect, is bad policy — the uoist policy— and, will 
 ill one way or another, result to my final injury.' 
 The tendency of such reflections, will be to ena^' 
 ble you to withstand the temptation and preserve 
 your integrity. "No one ever did a designed in- 
 jury to another, without doing a greater to him- 
 self." These are words of truth; and were they 
 engraven upon every heart, and made to influence 
 every mind, how much iniquity would they pre- 
 vent ! A dishonest action will revert upon the 
 head of its author, with tenfold vengeance. He 
 who cheats another, cheats himself far more deep- 
 ly than his victim. He defrauds his victim of 
 perishable wealth ; but he defrauds himself of 
 that which is of more value than all the riches of 
 the Indies — he defrauds himself of a good name, 
 of the confidence and respect of his fellow-beings, 
 and of that peace of mind, the absence of which, 
 is continued torture. A man in business wars 
 against his own welfare in defrauding his cus- 
 tomers — in taking a mean advantage of the igno- 
 rance of those who are so circumstanced as not 
 to know the true value of articles. His acts of 
 this nature, can not long remain concealed — he is 
 soon detected ; and coiiiiiiuuity place a mark 
 upon bimy as dark, and deep, and enduring as 
 
ESTABLISHING FIXED PRINCIPLES. 219 
 
 that upon the brow of Cain. Public confidence 
 being lost, his business dwindles away, his cus- 
 tomers forsake him, and wiien it is too late, he 
 finally perceives the imperishable truth of the 
 motto — "honesty is the best policy." Conceal- 
 ing or misrepresenting the market price of arti- 
 cles — selling goods or any property, as perfect, 
 which is unsound, or concealing the defects of 
 what is disposed of — are all dishonest and dis- 
 honorable practices, that will result vastly more 
 lo your injury than your benefit. Never be guilty 
 of them, as you value your true peace and pros- 
 perity. 
 
 Poetry never uttered a more evident truth, than 
 that which runs in the following line — 
 
 "An honest man 's the noblest work of God." 
 
 The title of an honest man, is more to be coveted 
 than any that can be conferred by the favor of 
 royalty. And when we lie down in the grave, 
 could there truly be inscribed upon the slab which 
 marks our resting place, the epitaph — '■'Here rest 
 the remains of an Honest Man''"' — it would be 
 memento far more honorable than the proudly 
 swelling cenotaph, or the lofty pyramid. 
 
 Veracity is another principle which should be 
 firmly fixed in the mind, A love of truth, with 
 an inflexible adherence to its guidance, on all oc- 
 casions, is one of the most noble characteristics 
 than can adorn humanity. But what is more un- 
 manly and contemptible, than the habitual utter- 
 ance of falsehoods 1 He who is addicted to this 
 
520 K8TABHSUIN0 flXED PRINCIPLES. 
 
 dishonorable practice, soon gains a reputation far 
 from being enviable or desirable — he is ranked in 
 that class who are " not to be believed when they 
 speak the truth." Avoid this habit as ungentle- 
 manly and wicked — as only calculated to bring 
 upon you the distrust and disrespect of society. 
 While its mark is upon you, no one will confide 
 in you or esteem you. Let all your communica- 
 tions be characterized by strict truth and integrity, 
 A. name well established for veracity, will minis- 
 ter much to your enjoyments, both in a moral and 
 B pecuniary pomt of view. 
 
 Benevolence should also be established, as one 
 of the leading principles of your character. This 
 heavenly characteristic is enjoined by religion, 
 morality and the condition of mankind. In every 
 community, there are the rich and the poor — the 
 prosperous and the unfortunate — those who are 
 surrounded by plenty, and those who are pinched 
 by want. Should your condition fortunately be 
 the former, forget not those who are involved in 
 the difficulties of the latter; but impart to them 
 a portion of your means, and your kindness will 
 not go unrewarded. 
 
 By benevolence I do not mean the giving alone 
 to some mammoth institution, or tiie support of 
 some popular scheme whose field of labor is far 
 distant. It is to be feared that improper motives 
 induce too many to bestow their means on these 
 projecTi, and that there is more wrong feeling in- 
 dulg«<5 in ^Aws giving, than in withholding. The 
 
ESTABLlSHliNO FlXtD PRINCIPLES. 221 
 
 benevolence which I would particularly recom- 
 mend, is more of a home character — more of a 
 domestic virtue. It is that emotion of pity and 
 kindness, by which your ear will be open to the 
 petition of distress at 7jour own door^ and your 
 hand be made ready to relieve the wants of the 
 poor in your immediate vicinity ! These should 
 be attended to Jirst. If you still possess the 
 means, you can then widen the circle of your be- 
 nevolence. And permit me to say, that even a 
 little, given to hush the orphan's wail and dry 
 the widow's tears — to cause the smile of plenty 
 to pervade the abodes of penury and want — is a 
 sacrifice upon the altar of benevolence, the in- 
 cense of which will arise far higher toward the 
 throne of infinite Goodness, than thousands pub- 
 licly lavished upon some popular scheme, to ac- 
 complish you know not what ! Allow benevo- 
 lence to be your pervading characteristic — be the 
 friend of the friendless, the protector of the weak 
 and defenceless, the patron of the deserving 
 poor — and you will realise how sweet is the truth 
 of the Scripture declaration — " It is more blessed 
 to give, than to receive." . 
 
 19* ; 
 
CHAPTER X. 
 
 STABILITY OP PURPOSE. 
 
 The minds of men differ in no respect more 
 wide, than in stability of purpose. While some 
 are stable and firm, their movements characterised 
 by cautiousness and decision, others are equally 
 remarkable for lack of foresight and firmness — 
 mcapable of forming a decision from patient re- 
 search and investigation, and unable to abide by 
 any decision, however formed, for any reasonable 
 length of time. This latter failing is very un- 
 fortunate. " A man without decision, can never 
 be said to belong to himself; since, if he dared 
 to assert that he did, the puny force of some cause, 
 about as powerful, you would have supposed, as 
 a spider, may make a capture of the hapless 
 boaster the very next moment, and triumphantly 
 exhibit the futility of the determinations by which 
 he was to have proved the independence of his 
 understanding and his will. He belongs to Avhat- 
 ever can seize him ; and innumerable things do 
 actually verify their claim on him, and arrest 
 
 222 
 
ei-ABILlTY OF PDRPOSE. 223 
 
 him as he tries to go along; as twigs and chips, 
 floating near the edge of a river, are intercepted 
 by every weed, and whirled in every little eddy. 
 Having concluded on a design, he may, pledge 
 himself to accomplish it — if the hundred diver- 
 sities of feeling which may come within the 
 week, will let him. As his character precludes 
 all foresight of his conduct, he may sit and won- 
 der what form and direction his views and ac- 
 tions are destined to take to-morrow ; as a farmer 
 has often to acknowledge the next day's pro- 
 ceedings are at the disposal of its winds and 
 clouds."* 
 
 How often do we discover people of this char- 
 acter — generally denominated •• fifkle minded.'' 
 They are seldom satisfied with their present con- 
 dition or employment — preferring almost any 
 other situation to the one they happen to occupy, 
 and any other business to that in which they are 
 engaged. Their minds are usually filled with 
 some new and wonderful project, or employed in 
 unfolding some magnificent discovery, which they 
 believe will astonish the world, and bring inex- 
 haustible wealth into their possession. Such 
 people are generally industrious — not, however, 
 in that steady application to useful business, 
 which will in time yield a certain reward — but in 
 building stupendous and beautiful " castles in the 
 air," which are reared this hour, only to be de- 
 molished the next ! 
 
 ♦Poster's Essays. 
 
m STAfilLlTY OF PURPOSE. 
 
 The " fickle-minded" man is not satisfied with 
 doin^'weU — he is not willing to" let well alone"— 
 and his mind i? constantly engaged in devising 
 schemes to do better ! In entering a new occu- 
 pation, he looks at every thing through the me- 
 dium of an ardent imagination. He helieves he 
 shall realise speedy and abundant wealth from his 
 change of employment; and for a season he is 
 industrious and persevering. But at length the 
 gildings of the imagination become effaced by 
 sober reality ; and when he discovers the true na- 
 ture of his business — its actual advantages and 
 disadvantages — it almost invariably falls short of 
 his expectations ; and his industry slackens, his 
 energy fails — he becomes discouraged, and aban- 
 dons his occupation for some new scheme, which 
 more than probably, will also flatter him for a 
 season, and again end in disappointment. And 
 the man " wonders how all the embarrassments in 
 the world happen to meet exactly in his way, to 
 place him in those situations for which he is pe- 
 culiarly unadapted, and which he is also willing 
 to think no other man could have acted with such 
 facility or confidence. Incapable of setting up a 
 firm purpose on the basis of things as they are^ 
 he is often employed in vain speculations on some 
 diSerent supposable state of things, which would 
 have saved him from all his perplexity and irres- 
 olution." People who give way to this instabili- 
 ty, can not prosper to any extent. They are con- 
 stantly liable to be deceived and involved in 
 
STABILITY OP PURPOSE. 225 
 
 difficulty. Their sanguine temperament leads 
 them to look upon impossibilities as probabili- 
 tics, and upon probabilities, as certainties 1 From 
 this credulous, inconsistent disposition — this m- 
 r.essant inclination to change — this desire, while 
 doing well to do much better — how many have 
 been reduced from competency and fair pros- 
 pects, to utter ruin and despair I ^ 
 I have already remarked that the minds of men 
 naturally diflfer very materially in respect to firm- 
 ness and stability of purpose. But a deficiency 
 in these valuable qualifications, need not be an ir- 
 reparable defect. It can, to a good degree, be 
 remedied by proper exertion and application. 
 When you become sensible that your mind is 
 constitutionally inclined to fickleness and insta- 
 bility — (and a little candid self-examination will 
 enlighten you upon this point) — you should then 
 call up all your energies to counteract this ten- 
 dency — and it should be your study to strengthen 
 these weak properties of the mind, by a constant 
 and watchful guard upon its operations. By prop- 
 er exertion, the mind can be trained into a good 
 degree of firmness and decision, so that its prompt- 
 ings may not be changed by every varying wind 
 By obtaining the mastery over your mental pow- 
 ers, you may concentrate them upon any given 
 subject within your comprehension, and search 
 out its foundation, its bearings and influences, 
 and ascertain the weight of the claims it has upon 
 your attention. 
 
M8 STABILITY OF PURPOSE. 
 
 To act safelyy requires you to act wisely, cau- 
 tiously and firmly. You should ponder well all 
 
 the measures you adopt. Never cnur upon any 
 important undertaking rashly, at the impulse of 
 any fleeting emotion, but be deliberate and reflec- 
 tive — examine it in all its bearings, and weigh 
 well its probable results. You should not forget 
 that there are always two sides in the appearance 
 of every project — a bright and a dark side. Give 
 yourself no labor in examining the bright side — 
 for that will usually present itself in colors suf- 
 ficiently attractive. But be diligent in thoroughly 
 investigating the dark side of the picture. Look 
 with an eye of scrutiny, at the worst aspect it can 
 assume — endeavor to discover its greatest disad- 
 vantages and its most remote liabilities to failure. 
 On the one hand, you should not aggravate the 
 appearance of difficulties, or conjure up vain and 
 unreal obstacles — and neither should you neglect 
 lo recognize every well-grounded objection, and 
 look it tairly in the face. And from all your 
 maans of information, deliberately form your 
 judgment, as to the most proper course to pursue. 
 And when you have once engaged in any honora- 
 ble occupation, or entered upon any proper branch 
 of business, let all instability, and fickleness, 
 and doubt, be banished from the mind — call 
 into requisition all your effective powers — be 
 industrious, persevering, economical, and pa- 
 tient let no new visionary scheme charm 
 
 your attention into another channel— and you 
 
STABILITY OF PURPOSE. 227 
 
 will be on the high road that leads to prosper- 
 
 The mania for speculation has been the ruin ot 
 multitudes in our land. Those who are brought 
 under the sway of its delusions, are led to despise 
 the slower method of their fathers, of obtaining 
 wealth by honest industry and perseverance, as 
 tedious and useless ; and it is their constant study 
 to devise some scheme, by which they can leap 
 at once into boundless riches. This thirst for 
 speculation, has been the source of immense evil 
 to our country. And not the least among its evils, 
 is, that it leads to the neglect of the common, yet 
 most useful avocations of life — those branches of 
 productive industry, upon which our general 
 welfare depends — and begets not only fickleness 
 of mind, but idleness, chicanery and corruption. 
 Young men should beware of this rage for spec- 
 ulation. Where it enriches one, it plunges a 
 thousand into poverty. It seems, indeed, to be 
 nothing less than a strife among a certain class, 
 to defraud one another, and the public at large ; 
 and therefore, the honorable and the upright can 
 not with propriety engage in its excesses. The 
 only laudable and safe method of acquiring 
 wealth, is to engage in some occupation that 
 is useful to your fellow-beings ; and if you 
 are industrious, prudent, persevering and sta^ 
 ble-minded, you can not avoid obtaining a com- 
 fortable livelihood, with the prospect of secur* 
 ingr in du€ time a sufficient amount of wealth, 
 
229 stabilitV oi purpose. 
 
 to give you all the enjoyment that can flow from 
 riches. 
 
 The old maxim warns us not to have too many 
 irons in the fire, lest some should burn. Dr. 
 Clarke imagines this to be a needless caution. 
 He says a man can not have too many irons in 
 the fire, and that he should thrust in " shovel, 
 tongs and poker." But I differ from the Doctor 
 in this respect. It is true, there are minds so 
 bountifully endowed, possessing so great a variety 
 of powers, so much energy, discrimination, and 
 elasticity, that they can successfully engage in 
 various branches of business at the same time. 
 But such minds are more rare than common. 
 The generality of mankind will succeed far bet- 
 ter by directing all their attention to one branch 
 of business, than by distracting it among a vari- 
 ety. It is wise, therefore, still to adhere to the 
 old maxim, and beware of having too many irons 
 in the fire. 
 
 Let not the stability of you mind be shaken 
 by ill-luck or by misfortunes. " Don't be dis- 
 couraged, if in the outset of life, things do not 
 go on smoothly. It seldom happens that the 
 hopes Ave cherish of the future are realized. The 
 path of life in the prospect, appears smooth and 
 level enough ; but when we come to travel it, we 
 find it all up hill, and generally rough enough. 
 The journey is a laborious one, and whether poor 
 or wealthy, high or low, we shall find it to our 
 disappointment if we build on another calcula- 
 
STABILITY or PURPOSE. 239 
 
 Hon. To endure what is to be endured, with 33 
 
 much cheerfulness as possible, and to elbow our 
 way as easily as we can through the great crowd, 
 hoping for little, yet striving for much, is perhaps 
 the true plan. But don't be discouraged, if oc- 
 casionally you slip down by the way, and your 
 neighbors tread over ymi h little — in other words, 
 don't let a failure or two dishearten you. Acci- 
 dents happen — miscalculations will sometimes be 
 (nade — things will turn out differently from our 
 expectations, and we may be sufferers. It is 
 worth while to remember that fortune is like the 
 skies in April, sometimes cloudy, and sometimes 
 clear and favovable: and as it would be folly to 
 despair of again seeing the sun, because to-day it 
 is stormy, so it is unwise to sink into desponden- 
 cy when fortune frowns : since in the common 
 course of thi'^gs, she may surely be expected to 
 smile again. Don't be discouraged, under any 
 circumstances. Go steadly forward. Rather 
 consult your own conscience, than the opinions 
 of men, though the last are not to be disregarded. 
 Be industrious; be frugal; be honest; deal in 
 perfect kindness with all, exercising a neighbor- 
 y and obliging spirit in your whole intercourse; 
 and if you do not prosper as rapidly as any of 
 your neighbors, depend upon it, you will be as 
 happy."* 
 
 ♦Monthly Repository. 
 20 
 
CHAPTER XI. 
 
 POLITICS. 
 
 I DEEM it not improper, in addressing young 
 men, to make a few observations respecting poli- 
 tics. It is well for tlie stability of our republican 
 institutions, that the people are divided into par- 
 ties. This leads to a strict scrutiny of our public 
 functionaries — to the exposition of their faults and 
 a commendation of their wisdom and virtue — and 
 all this has a tendency to keep them faithful in 
 the discharge of their duties. 
 
 There are two prominent evils in regard to poli- 
 tics, against which young men should be upon 
 their guard. The first, is the changing from par- 
 ty to party, for the purpose of obtaining popular 
 applause, or office, or emolument. Such con- 
 duct betrays an entire destitution of moral prin- 
 ciple and rectitude. If you adopt these motives 
 as the basis of your political bias and proceedings, 
 it is quite certain, although you may be success- 
 ful for a season, that your object will eventually 
 be discovered, you character and influence will be 
 
 230 
 
POLITICS. 231 
 
 lost, and all parties will despise and neglect you. 
 A shuffling, time-serving demagogue, a political 
 weathercock, veering in the direction of every 
 wind that blows, without regard to principle, is a 
 most despicable character ; unworthy the privi- 
 leges of a freeman. 
 
 The other evil to which I allude, is upon the 
 contrary extreme — a blind and servile adherence 
 to 'party — an infatuation, by which every meas- 
 ure, however dangerous, is supported, that is dic- 
 tated by the leaders, the wire-pullers of thcparty^ 
 and every principle, however valuable and salu- 
 tary, opposed and contemned, whenever they give 
 the signal — an infatuation, under the degrading 
 influence of which, men abandon their birih-right 
 of freedom of opinion, and are willing to see with 
 the eyes, and hear with the ears, and understand 
 with the judgment of those whom they permit 
 to lead them. This servility to party tactics, par- 
 ty measures and party men, is an evil greatly to 
 be deprecated. It is rife with dangers — dangers 
 that reach the very vitals of our free institutions. — 
 Should the day ever arrive when this degrading 
 party servitude becomes general, when it winds 
 its enslaving chains around the great mass of the 
 people, the sun of this Republic will wane to the 
 horizon, and early set in clouds and darkness. 
 
 In former years, it was the fortune of the writer 
 of these chapters, to be engrossed to no inconsid- 
 erable degree, in the political strifes of the day. 
 From the peculiarly favorable opportunities which 
 
232 POLITICS. 
 
 I then enjoyed of judging the designs and motivei 
 of political leaders^ 1 became fully satisfied, that 
 the degrading principle of servility to parly meas- 
 ures, is designedly diffused through community, 
 by interested men for their personal aggrandize- 
 ment — and that the strife, and clamor, and bitter 
 acrimony that convulses society at the approach 
 of important elections, is caused mainly by the 
 struggle between the "i«s" and the "o7fis" — be- 
 tween those who are ?« office and wish to keep in, 
 and those who are out and desire to get in ! Were 
 it not for the contentions of these two classes, ihe 
 clangor of political battle would be hushed, and 
 the people would calmly and peaceably adopt the 
 proper measures to continue our institutions ia 
 their purity, and keep the wheels of government 
 in well balanced motion. Young men should 
 be aware of these things, that they may "see 
 through" the sophistical and bombastic declama- 
 tion of political demagogues. "Measures and 
 not men," was the motto of the founders of our 
 Republic; and it still remains the popular cry of 
 all parties. But it requires only a single glance at 
 the proceedings of politicians at the present day, 
 to discover that, with too many of them, this 
 maxim has become reversed — and their great ob- 
 ject is men and not measures ! 
 
 It devolves upon the young men who are now 
 coming upon the stage of action, to arrest the 
 progress of this growing evil, and to diffuse abroad 
 a love for political independence and purity. To 
 
POLITICS. 233 
 
 this end, allow me to urge every young man whose 
 eye rests upon these lines, not to attach himself 
 so strongly to any party, that he can not without 
 improper bias, exercise that privilege of deciding 
 for himself upon the propriety or impropriety of 
 principles and measures, which is the invaluable 
 legacy bequeathed to us by our fathers ! Avoid all 
 party chains and shackles, and all 'party measures, 
 that are not plainly and strictly for the benefit 
 of the whole body of the people — all attach- 
 ments to men and names — every thing that can 
 have a tendency to blind the judgment or deaden 
 the love for principle. Understand me — I do not 
 object to political parties. In a Republic like this, 
 there must be parties while men continue tu differ 
 honestly in opinion. But I object to that degra- 
 ding attachment to party, by which the judgment 
 is so blinded as to consider the interest of the 
 party paramount to all other interests — that dan- 
 gerous infatuation, which says — " the party Tc\M%i 
 be sustained, at all hazards V^ Let it be your 
 highest ambition to be a republican, in the broad 
 and true acceptation of that word — a lover of en- 
 lightened and well regulated liberty, of equ?.l 
 rights and privileges — a supporter of the best m- 
 terests of your country, irrespective of the rise or 
 fall of parties or men. When measures are 
 brought to your consideration, do not inquire who 
 originated them, or by what party are they sup- 
 ported, or what men will they elevate or over- 
 throw ? — but only ask, are the proposed measures 
 20* 
 
234 POLITICS. 
 
 called for by existing exigencies — are ihey con- 
 sistent with the genius of our free institutions — 
 are they compatible with republican principles- 
 are they calculated to enhance the public welfare ? 
 If, after strict an4, candid examination, you can 
 answer these inquiries in the affirmative, support 
 the measures; but if not, reject them entirely. 
 And when an individual is held up for public 
 station, let not the question be, by whom was he 
 nominated — or to what party does he belong? — 
 but ask, what are his principles, his abilities?— 
 apply the text of the patriot Jefferson — " is he ca- 
 pable, is he honest, is he faithful?" Never give 
 him your support until you are perfectly satisfied 
 upon these points. Let the young me»n of this 
 Union free themselves from all debasing mana- 
 cles, from every improper bias, and pursue an 
 upright, manly, independent course in regard to 
 politics, and the evils that are now sapping the 
 foundations of our Republic, will become anni- 
 hilated. And I can not avoid here recommend- 
 ing young men to patronize more extensively, 
 those public prints that are neutral respecting poli- 
 tics — those papers which freely and boldly can- 
 vass the political questions of the day, without 
 becoming attached to any party or any set of men. 
 One publication of this character, conducted with 
 ability and discrimination, will throw more light 
 upon the actual state of the country, the true na- 
 ture of its interests, and the character and ten- 
 denoies of the current and prominent measures 
 
POLITICS. ?35 
 
 of t'ie limesj than a score of those papers that 
 are wholly devoted lo the upbuilding of a partic- 
 ular party. Those young men, therefore, who 
 are more deeply interested in the welfare of the 
 whole country, than in the welfare of political 
 parties and individual aspirants, will do well to 
 become patrons of these neutral periodicals. 
 
CHAPTER XII. 
 
 MARRIAGE. 
 
 Young men should allow matrimony, to be a 
 frequent subject of serious reflection.* I repeat, 
 serious reflection. Although young people are 
 generally in the habit of viewing marriage as a 
 light, pleasant, laughable matter, of no great mo- 
 ment, yet it is a subject which deeply involves 
 th^ir enjoyment, their peace and pro?:perity 
 through life, and therefore it is one of weight 
 and importance. Marriage is one of the vital 
 institutions of civilized life. In whatever com- 
 munity it holds a high and sacred rank, it is a 
 prolific source of the social virtues and enjoy- 
 ments. But wherever its holy obligations are 
 unknown or unheeded, man sinks to the level of 
 the brute, in regard to every thing that is eleva- 
 ting and ennobling. 
 
 ♦ I would refer the reader to the Fifth T.ecfure of 
 •' Combe's Moral Philosophv," for some useful remarks 
 respecting marriage, which should be read and heeded by 
 every youth who expects to enter the matrimonial state. 
 
 236 
 
MARRIAGE. 237 
 
 Marriage is a duty — made so by oar Creator. 
 In forming the man, he did not intend liim to be 
 a lone and solitary being. The sacred historian 
 instructs us that the " Lord God said, it is not 
 good that the man should be alone ; I will make 
 him a help meet for him." From the body of 
 Adam, the woman was formed j and Deity utter- 
 ed the authoritative requirement, " therefore shall 
 a man leave his father and his mother, and shall 
 cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh." 
 Here is a strict command to enter the marriage 
 state. 
 
 Matrimony is made a duty by nature. The hu- 
 man race are equally divided into the two sexes, 
 male and female. They are evidently intended 
 for each other's society. The woman, from her 
 delicate constitution, stands in need of the aid, 
 the protection and support of the sterner and more 
 vigorous sex. And it is equally necessary that 
 the man should be civilized, polished, and curbed 
 in the outbreaking of his impetuous passions, un- 
 der the influence of the purer mind and sweeter 
 affections of woman. There is no way in which 
 these mutual benefits can be so properly and so 
 beneficially bestowed, as through the institution 
 of marriage. The ties t!ius formed, call into ac- 
 tivity, all the kindest and holiest afi'ections of our 
 natures — they b'ing out the bright virtues and 
 excellencies of the human heart, and awaken to 
 iife, that love which sweetens the uneven jour- 
 ney of earthly existence. 
 
SdO MARKIAUE. 
 
 Every young man should make it the settled 
 resolution of his mind, to enter the matrimonial 
 state. This should be one of the important ulte- 
 rior objects, to which his earlier plans and exer- 
 tions should tend. To take upon himself the 
 marriage obligations, with proper views and in 
 proper circumstances, should be the goal at which 
 every honorable young man should endeavor early 
 to arrive. And he should never consider him- 
 self as perfectly settled in life, and prepared to 
 take his proper station in society, until he obtains 
 this "help meet," this better half. 
 
 " The wish to marry, if prudently indulged, 
 will lead to honest and persevering exertions to 
 obtain a reasonable income — one which will be 
 satisfactory to the object of your hopes, as well 
 as to her friends. He who is determined on living 
 a single life, very naturally contracts his endeav- 
 ors to his own narrow personal wants, or else 
 squanders freely, in the belief that he can always 
 procure enough to support himself. Indeed it 
 can not have escaped even the careless observer, 
 that in proportion as an individual relinquishes 
 the idea of matrimony, just in the same propor- 
 tion do his mind and feelings contract. On the 
 contrary, that hope which aims at a beloved part- 
 ner — a family — a fireside — will lead its possessor 
 to activity in all his conduct. It will elicit his 
 talents, and urge them to their full energy, and 
 probably call in the aid of economy ; a quality so 
 indispensable to every condition of life. The sin- 
 
MARRIAGE. S39 
 
 gle consideration, ' What would she think, were 
 she now to see me V called up by the intrusion of 
 a favorite image — how often has it stimulated a 
 noble mind and heart to deeds which otherwise 
 had never been performed !"* " The first bless- 
 ing," says Bishop Taylor, " God gave to man, was 
 society; and that society was a marriage; and 
 that marriage was confederate by God himself, and 
 hallowed by a blessing. Celibacy, like the fly in 
 the heart of an apple, sits alone, and is confined, 
 and dies in singularity. But marriage, like the 
 useful bee, builds a house, and gathers sweetness 
 from every flower, and unites into societies and re- 
 publics, and sends out colonies, and feeds the 
 world with delicacies, and keeps order, and ex- 
 ercises many virtues, and promotes the interest of 
 mankind, and is that state of good things to which 
 God hath designed the present constitution of the 
 world." 
 
 Some young men deem it exceedingly wise to 
 make up their minds not to marry at all. But this 
 determination is as ungenerous and dishonorable, 
 as it is unnatural and unreasonable. And those 
 who form it, are treasuring up to themselves evils 
 and sorrows. The disadvantages of a single life 
 are not so sensibly experienced while youth 
 and health continue. But when old age creeps 
 on and the bachelor becomes wearied with the 
 amusements of youth, and is necessitated to seek 
 for other sources of enjoyment, then he feels the 
 * Young Man's Guide. 
 
MO MARRIAGE. 
 
 desolation of his condition. Avoided in society^ 
 as one who is crusty, sour, cold-hearted and aus- 
 tere, with no domestic circle, no affectionate com-" 
 jpanion or loving offspring, to welcome, and cheer, 
 and smile upon him in his hours of retirement — 
 fie feels tlial he is indeed alone — a forlorn, isola- 
 red, forsaken being ; the object of the scorn of the 
 young, and the derision of the old, and the gener- 
 al biitl of ridicule and sarcasm. There is no in- 
 dividual in community, more generally disliked 
 and unenvied, than the old bachelor! When 
 sickness overtakes him, he experiences still more 
 keenly, his lonely condition. With no guardian 
 angel hovering around his couch, to present the 
 soothing cordial, and to sympathise in his suf- 
 ferings, he lingers upon the bed of disease — is 
 administered toby the careless hand of strangers, 
 in accordance to his ability to rermuicrate them — 
 and jBnally dies unwept and unregretted, and his 
 name sinks into oblivion ! Such is the career of 
 the bachelor! How cheerless and uninviting! 
 
 The difference in the condition of single ladies 
 and gentlemen, is strikingly obvious. Many la- 
 dies remain single through life, more from the 
 force of circumstances, than from choice. Young 
 men should remember that the condition of ladies, 
 in regard to matrimony is peculiar. From the 
 usages of society, ladies can not seek out and se- 
 lect companions ; but they must remain to be 
 sought. They can reject proposals, but they can 
 not make them — they can decline alliance with 
 
MARRIAGE. 24t 
 
 individuals whom they dislike, but they can not 
 propose it to those whom they would choose. — 
 From these restraints, imposed by the rules of 
 propriety, a lady is not to be supposed to remain 
 single from aversion to that institution of mar- 
 riage, which has been formed by the Creator, 
 She is not, therefore, to be disrespected on this 
 account. But the bachelor, from his superior 
 advantages of selection, must remain single only 
 through choice; and thus makes himself justly 
 the object of animadversion and contempt! 
 
 A young man has no "right to sport with the 
 affections of a young woman, in any way what- 
 ever. Vanity is generally the tempter in this 
 case; a desire to be regarded as being admired 
 by the women; a very despicable species of van- 
 ity, but frequently mischievous, notwithstanding. 
 You do not, indeed, actually, in so many words, 
 promise to marry ; but the general tenor of your 
 language and deportment has that meaning ; you 
 know that your meaning is so understood; and 
 if you have not such meaning — if you be fixed 
 by some previous engagement with, or greater 
 liking for, another — if you know you are here 
 sowing the seeds of disappointment — and if you 
 persevere in spite of the admonitions of con- 
 science — you are guilty of deliberate deception, 
 injustice and cruelty. You make to God an 
 ungrateful return for those endowments which 
 have enabled you to achieve this inglorious and 
 unmanly triumph ; and if, as is frequently the 
 21 
 
S4S Marriagi:. 
 
 case, you glory in such triumph, you may have 
 person, riches, talents to excite envy ; but every 
 just and humane man will abhor your heart."* 
 
 The proper time for marriage, is a subject of 
 some moment. You should not enter the matri- 
 monial state, until you are competent to support 
 a family in circumstances of comfort. There is 
 a Spanish proverb which says, "a husband with- 
 out ability, is like a house without a roof" The 
 man who has not the ability to provide for a fami- 
 ly, would entail wretchedness upon himself, and 
 those connected with him, were he to be married. 
 But in this land of plenty, there are no young 
 men possessing health and habits of industry 
 and economy, who are incapable of maintain- 
 ing a family, by the time they arrive at a suita- 
 ble age for wedlock. Early marriages are pref- 
 erable to late ones. By delaying until middle 
 life, or old age, the habits and temper of the 
 parties becomes fixed, and it is with great diffi- 
 culty that they can adapt themselves to each 
 other's dispositions, so as to pass pleasantly 
 through life — though it is better to marry late in 
 life, than not at all. As a general rule, young 
 men should not marry before the age of four or 
 five and twenty, nor delay it, except where circum- 
 stances imperiously demand, after thirty. "In 
 Wurtemberg it is illegal for any young man to 
 marry before the age of twenty-five, or any young 
 woman before eighteen ; and no man is allowed 
 • Guide 
 
MARRIAGE. 243 
 
 to marry at any age, unless he can shew to the 
 priest, his ability to provide for a wife and fami- 
 ly. Such laws are extremely rational and judi- 
 cious."* 
 
 The proper qualifications of a wife, is a topic 
 in which youn<^ men are deeply interested. It 
 has been remarked — probably by some crusty old 
 bachelor — tnat choosing a wife, is like buying a 
 ticket in a lottery. Were young men blind and 
 deaf, or void of discrimination, this assertion 
 might be true. But to those youth who see and 
 hear, and who do not allow their imagination to 
 runaway with their judgment, the selection of a 
 companion need not be a matter of great uncer- 
 tainty. In choosing a wife, you should be soli- 
 citous to obtain one who is good and useful, rath- 
 er than one who is only beautiful and accom- 
 plished. Say what we will, in regard to beauty 
 of person, and exercise as much caution as may 
 be, against its attractions, still it will exercise all 
 the influence it deserves. I do not caution you 
 against selecting a young woman who is hand- 
 some ; but I warn you against choosing a wife 
 whose only attraction is beauty of person. The 
 morning cloud and the early dew are not more 
 fleeting, than comeliness of form and features. 
 He who marries a lady whose only desirable 
 qualifications are a handsome face and person, 
 will in a few years, perceive that the object of his 
 choice has become faded and pl^in ; and beauty, 
 • Moral Philosophy. 
 
2\a MARRlAUe. 
 
 her only auraction, having tied, there is great 
 danger that alienation of heart and a life of 
 wretchedness will ensue. While pergonal \u'au- 
 ly will ex?rcise an inliueiice upon young men, I 
 would urge you to seek for other qualifications of 
 a less fleeting class; and if you do not observe 
 them in the female who attracts your attention, 
 beware of a union with her. If a man marries 
 a doll because it is a doll, he must attribute it to 
 his own weakness, if he is doomed to discover 
 that his companion possesses no other attractions 
 bul those of a doll ! 
 
 You should also beware of any undue influ- 
 ence from useless accomplishments. A young 
 lady may dance gracefully, sing delightfully, ex- 
 ecute music skilfully, and have at her tongue's 
 end the adventures of the heroes and heroines of 
 all the popular novels of the day, and yet if she 
 possesses a sour disposition, an irascible temper, 
 a cold, ungenerous heart, and is ignorant of do- 
 ..*esiic duties, she would make a poor and profit- 
 less companion. Such ladies, 
 
 "May do very well for maidens or aunts, 
 But, believe me, they'll nc"«'r make wives." 
 
 " There's many a good wife that can neither 
 sing nor dance well." " I ar«v an old fellow," 
 says the poet Cowper, in onb of his letters to 
 Hurdis, " but I had once my dancing days as you 
 have now; yet I never could find that I could 
 learn half so much of a woman's character by 
 dancing with her, as by conversing with her at 
 
MARRIAGE. 245 
 
 home, when 1 could observe her behavior at the 
 table, at the fireside, and in all the trying circum- 
 stances of domestic life. We are all good when 
 we are pleased ; but she is the good woman who 
 wants not the fiddle to sweeten her." A ball- 
 room, a party, or the church, is a poor place to 
 select a wife. The fairest appearances are there 
 put forth ; but you know not the faults and im- 
 perfections in mind, in disposition and habits, 
 which they may cover. — The old proverb wisely 
 says — "If thou desirest a wife, choose her on a 
 Saturday, rather than on a Sunday." A few fa- 
 miliar visits when the object of your attention is 
 engaged in domestic afiairs and has no expecta- 
 tion of seeing you, will afford a clearer view of 
 her qualities and habits, than years of intimacy 
 under other circumstances. — You should endeav- 
 or to conceive, if possible, what will be the dis- 
 position, the habits, the character, of your intend- 
 ed companion, a few years hence, when she will 
 have been tried in the severe school of experience 
 and domestic cares. If you have reason to ap- 
 prehend that her qualities will not be as valuable 
 and attractive then, as now, you had better aban- 
 don, at once, all idea of connexion with her — for 
 marriage with such a one, is far more likely to 
 be fruitful of evil than of good. 
 
 Young men should not look for perfection in 
 the female sex, either in beauty of person, or in 
 disposition, or mind. This would not be gener- 
 ous or reasonable — perfection dwells not in mor- 
 21* 
 
246 MAHHIAOS. 
 
 tal frames. But there are a few valuable and ail- 
 important characteristics, which every young 
 mail should be salistied dwell in ihe I'emale 
 ■whom he selects for his companion. 
 
 1. She should be virluous. Virtue is the ba- 
 sis upon which all other valuable female quali- 
 ties must rest. Women who are virtuous, al- 
 though lacking in many other desirable qualifica- 
 tions, may still be valuable and worthy. But 
 when virtue is wanting, the foundation of worth 
 is removed, and no other qualification can atone 
 for its absence. 
 
 2. She should have an agreeable disposition 
 and an even temper. "This is a very diflScult 
 thing to ascertain beforehand. Smiles are cheap; 
 they are easily put on for the occasion. By a 
 good temper, I do not mean an easy temper, a 
 serenity which nothing disturbs ; for that is a 
 mark of laziness. Sullenness, if you be not too 
 blind to perceive it, is a temper to be avoided by 
 all means. A sullen man is bad enough ; what, 
 then, must be a sullen woman, and that woman 
 a wife ; a constant inmate, a companion day and 
 night. But if you have your eyes, and look 
 sharp, you will discover symptoms of this if it 
 unhappily exist. She will at some time or other, 
 show it to some one of the family ; or, perhaps, 
 towards yourself; and you may be quite sure 
 that in thisrespect, marriage will not mend her."* 
 Good disposition and even temper are important 
 
 ♦ Guide. 
 
MAHfttAQE. 247 
 
 accompanimeais to virtue. For although your 
 intended wife may be virtuous and industrious, 
 yet if she has a sour, morose disposition and ua 
 irritable temper, the probability is great, that you 
 will live unhappily together. But if she has a 
 kind, pleasant, benevolent disposition and a well 
 governed temper, your prospect is fair, of enjoy- 
 ing a peaceable and agreeable home. 
 
 3. She should possess an enlightened mind — 
 or, at least, a mind that eagerly seeks for useful 
 information. It is well known that the mother 
 sows the first seeds of knowledge in the minds of 
 her offspring. How important that she should 
 be qualified to discharge this office in a beneficial 
 manner. Her mind should possess clear views, 
 not only in relation to general knowledge, but 
 especially upon the subject of religion and of mor- 
 al duties. It is extremely unfortunate to marry 
 a young woman who is destitute of correct reli- 
 gious impressions, and especially one who has no 
 inclination to seek for light upon this important 
 subject. Such a one, would be peculiarly ex- 
 posed to the thraldom of bigotry and fanaticism, 
 and your domestic peace would be liable to be em- 
 bittered by the deleterious influences of religious 
 error. See, then, that the object of your choice 
 possesses a sound mind — one that is anxious to 
 acquire a fund of valuable knowledge, and is 
 capable of appreciating the worth of pure morali- 
 ty and ot enlightened views of the Gospel of the 
 Saviour, 
 
'248 MAKRiAGE. 
 
 4. She sliuuld be industriuus. A wife desti- 
 tute of industry, is little better than a drone or a 
 block. Whatever may be your circumstances, 
 an industrious companion will be far more val- 
 uable, than one who prefers to eat the bread of 
 idleness. They had a correct view of this sub- 
 ject anciently. In Proverbs, it is said of a vir 
 tuous or industrious woman — " She will do good 
 and not evil, all the days of her life. She 
 seeketh wool and flax, and workelh willingly 
 with her hands." And from the neatness of his 
 apparel, it is said, " her husband is known in the 
 gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the 
 land." Seek for a young woman, whc^ instead 
 of devising ways and means to squander your 
 property in useless dress and extravagant dis- 
 play, will endeavor, by industry, prudence and 
 economy, to assist you in securing a suitable 
 competency for life — one who will indeed, be 
 " a help meet" fur you. If a young lady spends 
 the greater part of her time in languishing over 
 a novel, or drumming upon the piano, or " spin- 
 ning street-yarn" to indulge in idle gossip, be- 
 ware of making her your companion — she is 
 lacking in one of the most important character- 
 istics of a good wife — viz : industry. 
 
 5. She should be well versed in domestic econ- 
 omy. " Without a knowledge and love of do- 
 mestic concerns, the wife, even of a peer, is of 
 but little value. It was the fashion in former 
 times, for ladies to understand a great deal about 
 
MARRIAOe. i^9 
 
 these things ; and it would be very hard to make 
 mp believe that it did not tend to promote the in- 
 terests and honor of their hnsbands."' YcTinj* 
 men should be very cautious on iliis point. They 
 should never knowingly be joined in wedlock to 
 a female who is ignorant of the domestic affairs 
 of a family. Even though there may be no ne- 
 cessity of engaging in them constantly herself, 
 still it is important for her to know how they 
 should be transacted, in order that her household 
 may be conducted in a successful and economi- 
 cal manner. With an ignorant wife and igno- 
 rant servants, your domestic concerns will soon 
 be in a lamentable condition, and you will suffer 
 in comfort as well as in interest. 
 
 Many other valuable characteristics of a good 
 wife, might be enumerated, but these must suffice. 
 If you obtain a companion who is virtuous, of a 
 gentle disposition and even temper, who possess- 
 es a well informed and tractable mind, is indus- 
 trious and well versed in domestic economy — you 
 v,-ill secure one of the richest of earthly bless- 
 ings — she will be a jewel above value. Her 
 features may be plain, her complexion may not 
 be fair — but what are these but fleeting shadows 
 that disappear with the few days of youth. "Beau- 
 ty in woman is like the flowers in Spring; but 
 virtue is like the stars of heaven." Personal 
 beauty is liable to be destroyed by the first frosts 
 of sickness ; but if your chosen one possesses 
 the qualities 1 have enumerated, she is adorned 
 
250 MARRIAGE. 
 
 with a beeuty, which, instead of fading and dis- 
 appearing, will grow brighter and lovelier with 
 advancing age, arid sweeten all your domestic 
 experience. 
 
A VOICE TO YOUNG LADIES. 
 
^:mL> 
 
CHAPTER I. 
 
 INTRODUCTION. 
 
 ^ The condition of woman, and the estimation 
 in which she is held by the other sex, are a true 
 index of the state of civilization in every country. 
 Wherever Christianity diffuses its divine influ- 
 ences — wherever the pages of literature, of sci- 
 ence, and of the arts, are unfolded for the perusal 
 of the great mass of the people, there woman is 
 honored, her rights are respected, her value ap- 
 preciated, her worthiness assented to — there she 
 is the companion of man, and not his slave ; the 
 object of his confidence and love, and not the 
 instrument of his despotic pleasure — there she is 
 acknowledged an intelle-ctual and moral being, 
 capable of competing with the masculine mind in 
 the acquisition of those attainments that adorn 
 and elevate human nature. But in those lands 
 where the light of Christianity has never shone — 
 where the arts and sciences are known only to a 
 small extend and where mental and moral dark- 
 ness covers the people — woman is a degraded 
 22 253 
 
254 lNTR0DUCT10?r, 
 
 menial, looked upon by man, as only fitted to per- 
 form the drudgery of life, and to do his bidding. 
 To perceive the truth of these remarks, it is 
 only necessary to survey the present condition of 
 woman, in different portions of the earth. In 
 Europe and America, where Christianity, civili- 
 zation, and science diffuse their mingled influ- 
 ences, woman holds her highest rank; the native 
 purity and loveliness of her qualities shme out, 
 and her talents and capabilities are developed to 
 a degree hitherto unknown in the annals of time. 
 But contemplate her condition in other sections 
 of the globe. Wherever the darkness of igno- 
 rance reigns in its most complete triumph, there 
 woman is plunged in her deepest degradation. In 
 Persia and Hindostan, in Turkey, in Georgia 
 and Circassia, in China and the Loo-Choo Is- 
 lands, while her condition is better than in many 
 other parts of the world, it is still far inferior in 
 every valuable consideration, to her station in 
 Christian nations. She is worshipped, it is true, 
 as an idol, in some of those countries ; but the 
 emotion arises no higher than admiration of per- 
 sonal beauty ; she commands no respect for vir- 
 tue, intelligence, and well-developed intellect. 
 The immoralities of Mohometanism and Pagan- 
 ism, together with the unnatural institution of 
 polygamy, unjustly rob her of her rights, her in- 
 fluence, and the dearest enjoyments of life. She 
 « made the subject of barter and s|^, "and her 
 ."oautVj and sometimes her ability to labor, are 
 
rXTRODUCTlON. 255 
 
 made to coninljuie lo the purposes of avarice and 
 gain." In the islands of South Americaj m the 
 Indian Archipelago, in Australia and Polynesia, 
 in the Pelew, Society, Friendly, and Sandwich 
 Islands, among the savages in the two continents 
 of America, and in all Africa, woman is the ser- 
 vile dependant and slave of man — the object of 
 his tyranny and oppression — compelled to per- 
 form the severest labors, and to drag out a mis- 
 erable existence, subject lo the caprice and whim 
 of hex lord and master. 
 
 Such is a brief survey of the condition of wo- 
 man, throughout the world. The fair daughters 
 of America can not be too thankful, that a kind 
 Providence has cast their lot in this favored hem- 
 isphere, v/here they are blessed with privileges, 
 and surrounded by advantages, of inestimable 
 value. 
 
 The circumstances of the female sex, in what 
 are termed civilized countries, have experienced 
 material changes, at different periods of the world. 
 In the first ages of the Roman Republic, the con- 
 dition of woman was little better than that of a 
 slave. She was confined exclusively to the labor 
 of the household, and was subject entirely to the 
 rule of her husband, who held even her life at his 
 command. In after ages, however, as civilization 
 advanced, the Romans estimated the female char- 
 acter more highly, and conferred many superior 
 advantages upon the sex. But when the deep 
 ignorance of " the dark age'>*' overshadowed the 
 
256 INTRODUCTION. 
 
 civilized world, and enveloped in its murky folds, 
 religion, literature, and science, the rights of wo- 
 man were involved and lost in the common ruin. 
 Her condition again became as deplorable as at 
 any former period of time. But, after a lapse of 
 many centuries, when Christianity emerged from 
 the long night of darkness, and civilization once 
 more began to polish society, a most remarkable 
 change in the condition of woman commenced. 
 From a state of abject servitude and bondage, she 
 suddenly became exalted to the highest elevation, 
 under the influence of that romantic chivalry, 
 which then reigned throughout Christendom. 
 She was considered a being scarcely pertaining to 
 earth, but was worshipped as a superior spirit; 
 and haughty knights and brave cavaliers devoted 
 their lives to the defence of her character and 
 honor. Poets celebrated her praises in strains of 
 admiring enthusiasm, and the wandering trouba- 
 dour sang of her dazzling loveliness and the 
 witchery of her influence. This chivalrous devo- 
 tion to woman, which elevated her as far above 
 her real merits, as she was before depressed be- 
 neath them, continued for several centuries. But 
 at length it began to wane under the influence of 
 advancing knowledge and information, until it 
 finally received its death-blow in the inimitable 
 caricature of Don Quixotte. This celebrated 
 work held up the knight-errantry of those ages 
 in a light so surpassingly ridiculous, that it van- 
 ished as by enchantment. 
 
IM'KODUCTION. 257 
 
 Prom that time, woman began to be viewed in 
 a proper light, and her real value to be apprecia- 
 ted. While the beauty of her person had lost 
 the enchanting power it formerly possessed, the 
 beauty of her intellect, the purity of her heart, 
 the kindness of her disposition, the depth of her 
 affections, and the valuable attainments she be- 
 gan to develope, gave her an influence, not so 
 dazzling, but far more extensive and enduring. 
 It was perceived that females possessed minds 
 as well as men — that they had been endowed by 
 the Creator with the same faculties, and that 
 they were capable of high attainment in every 
 department of human knowledge. 
 
 This well-grounded respect for the real excel- 
 lences of woman, has continued to increase to 
 the present day ; and the female sex in Christen- 
 dom, now holds a higher and nobler rank than at 
 any former period. Females are now justly cel- 
 ebrated as authors, musicians, and artists— they 
 have become distinguished to an extent that 
 would formerly have been considered impossible, 
 in every branch of science and general literature. 
 As the capabilities of their minds are more and 
 more developed, the higher do they rise in the 
 estimation of the other sex, and the more are 
 they deemed worthy to become, not only their 
 companions, but their assistants and CDunsellors. 
 And although the matrons of our country, have 
 not chosen representatives to assemble in con- 
 clave at Washington, to be consulted by Con- 
 22* 
 
258 - INTRODUCTION. 
 
 gress on ihe affairs of the nation, as was once 
 proposed by an eminent female writer, yet, that 
 their station in society is an honorable one, and 
 that their condition and advantages are immense- 
 ly superior to those enjoyed by females in other 
 portions of the globe, can not but be acknowl- 
 edged. 
 
 It is true, there are men to be found who think 
 lightly of the whole female sex, and who pretend 
 to doubt their virtue and their ability to acquire 
 extensive knowledge. But such individuals, it 
 will invariably be perceived, are either of an un- 
 generous, selfish, misanthropic, cynical disposi- 
 tion, or have mingled only with the degraded 
 and abandoned of the sex. These men should 
 have lived a few centuries past, rather than in 
 the present age, to have their views comport 
 with the general sentiment. It is not reasonable 
 to look for perfection in woman. There are 
 those of her sex, who are unprincipled and dis- 
 solute, precisely as there are such among men. 
 But females seldom, if ever, become depraved 
 until made so by man's superior depravity. It is 
 Es inconsistent and ungenerous to contend, that 
 the entire female sex should be suspected on ac- 
 count of the frailties of some of their number, as 
 to condemn the whole male race as thieves and 
 robbers, because a few of them, comparatively, 
 nave been guilty of these crimes. The sneering 
 inuendoes in which some men indulge, respecting 
 female virtue, should be met by the frowns of 
 
INTRODUCTION. 269 
 
 every individual of honor, as a base attempt to 
 calumniate the better part of our race — especial- 
 ly should ladies themselves discountenance such 
 men, and avoid all connection or association with 
 them. Compare the females of this country, as 
 a body, with the males, and every candid mind 
 will acknowledge, that among the former there 
 is to be found far more purity, virtue, and mod- 
 esty, far more kindness, benevolence, and love- 
 liness of disposition, than among the latter. 
 Those who decry the purity of woman, should 
 be av/are of the influence of such conduct. They 
 should know that female virtue is the standard 
 that regulates public moral?, to a great degree, 
 and that the efforts which they make to destroy 
 that virtue, is a blow struck at the welfare of the 
 whole community ; for the purity and morality 
 of both sexes rise or fall together. The degra- 
 dation of woman involves the corruption of man, 
 and is the fruitful source of wretchedness to bothi 
 Instead, therefore, of deriding the morals of wo- 
 man, every enlightened and honorable man, who 
 values the improvement and exaltation of his 
 race, will rather approbate, encourage, and cher- 
 ish female virtue and excellence — will be pleased 
 rather to observe it obtaining extension and sta- 
 bility, than to exert himself to destroy it ! " When 
 man shall be just to her nature, then will he 
 have less cause to censure ; for woman will 
 have fewer faults to deserve censure. Her 
 moral taste, refined and elevated by the percep- 
 
260 IN I IIODLCIION. 
 
 tions of her intellect, will then present her to his 
 view, as a manifestation of a superior nature — 
 a copy worthy its original — worthy his confidence, 
 companionship, and love." 
 
CHAPTER II. 
 
 FEMALE INFLUEiNCE. 
 
 From the intimate connection that exists be- 
 tween the two sexes, and from the rank which 
 females occupy in Christian countries, it is evi- 
 dent that their influence in this age, is both 
 extensive and powerful. In ancient days, the 
 influence of woman, though comparatively small 
 when contrasted with its present sway, was not 
 unknown. Anacreon, the lyric poet of Ionia, 
 thus sang : — 
 
 " Nature imparts her gifts to all ; 
 And every creature, large or small, 
 That frolics in the sea or strand, 
 Receives some favors at her hand. 
 
 To man, more bountifully kind, 
 f*he gave the nobler powers of mind ; 
 And woman, too, was not forgot ; 
 Both grace and beauty are her lot. 
 Whose potent influence will prevail 
 When wisdom, wit and weapons fail." 
 
 The influence of woman commences with 
 man's existence; and thrcughout hi? whole ca- 
 
 261 
 
262 FLMALL INFLLLNfE. 
 
 reer, however diversified, he is never dissolved 
 from it — commencing at the cradle, it terminates 
 only at the grave. The domestic circle is its 
 fountain head, from whence its streams flow 
 throughout all the various ramifications of socie- 
 ty. Domestic life is woman's proper sphere. 
 There her peculiar qualities and powers are de- 
 veloped — there she commences the exercise of 
 that sway, which, for good or evil, is sensibly felt 
 in the world at large^there she begins those lea- 
 sons which will affect those to whom they are 
 addressed, either beneficially or injuriously, while 
 earthly life shall endure — there she first puts into 
 operation, that invisible, yet enduring power, by 
 which she sways to an immense extent, the fate 
 of our race — there she commences twining around 
 the hearts of the sterner sex, those minute and 
 lastmg cords, which hold them, in a great degree, 
 to an assimilation to her own character. The 
 domestic circle is the home of woman, where she 
 the most fully evinces her useful and valuable 
 qualifications, and appears the most lovely and 
 enchanting. " A family is society in miniature — 
 home is its location — woman its presiding spirit — 
 and whatever destroys its primary features, must 
 disturb the tranquillity of its joys, introduce evil 
 into its atmosphere of good, inflict the worst of 
 miseries, not only on her, but on all its members, 
 and afiect the whole community of which it 
 forms a part."* 
 
 ♦ Ladica' Magazine. 
 
FEMALE INFLUENCE, 263 
 
 Who has not experienced the influewce of wo- 
 man? Who has not been charmed by the viva- 
 city of her intellect — enraptured by the spark- 
 ling of her genius, and filled with admiration by 
 the modesty of deportment and simplicity oi 
 manners, which so pre-eminently distinguish her 
 from the other sex ? And whose heart has not 
 been won to respect and lo\'-e her, for the kind- 
 ness, the tenderness and benevolence which her 
 conduct is ever manifesting? Ledyard, the well 
 known modern traveller, thus bears testimony to 
 that kindness of disposition from which so much 
 of her influence is derived — "I have always re- 
 marked that women, in all countries, are civil, 
 obliging, tender and humane ; and that they do 
 not hesitate like man, to perform a generous ac- 
 tion. Not haughty, not arrogant, not supercili- 
 ous ; they are full of courtesy, and are in gener- 
 al more virtuous than man, and perform more 
 good actions than he. To a woman, whether 
 civilized or savage, I never addressed myself in 
 the language of decency and friendship, with- 
 out receiving a decent and friendly answer. In 
 wandering over the barren plains of inhospitable 
 Denmark, through honest Sweden, and frozen 
 Lapland, rude and churlish Finland, unprinci 
 pled Russia, and the wide spread regions of the 
 wandering Tartar ; if hungry, dry, cold, wet 
 or sick, the women have ever been friendly to me, 
 and uniformly so ; and to add to this virtue, so 
 worthy the appellation of benevolence, these ac-? 
 
264 FEMALE INFirENCE. 
 
 tions have been performed in so free and so kind 
 a manner, that if I was dry, I drank the sweetest 
 draught, and if hungry, 1 ale the coarsest morsel, 
 ■with a double relish." 
 
 The influence of woman is experienced by 
 the other sex, in every stage of existence. How 
 powerful is the influence which the wife can ex- 
 ercise over the husband, when she judiciously 
 employs her abilities ! She can mould him into 
 almost any character — she can influence him to 
 noble and patriotic deeds ; to a virtuous, hon- 
 orable and upright course in life ; to a benevo- 
 lent, kind and peaceable disposition — or, if the 
 evil inclination sways her, she can debase and 
 degrade his mind ; destroy all honorable ambi- 
 tion, all aspiring after usefulness and respecta- 
 bility ; dispirit and break down his mind, and 
 plunge him into disreputable and sinful habits. 
 When such is the power of woman's influence 
 over her companion, wisdom dictates that it 
 should be exercised with great care and prudence. 
 The female who would have her husband rise 
 in society, and become useful and respected, 
 should reflect, that to attain this end much de- 
 pends upon her own conduct. If she is careless 
 of his interests, negligent of his affairs, and un 
 concerned in his plans and prospects, she is a dead 
 weight — yea, her influence will be of a charac- 
 ter to paralyze his exertions, to discourage him 
 in every useful effort, and to keep him down to 
 his present level, or sink him still lower. But 
 
FEMALE INFLUENCE. 2ft5 
 
 if she exhibits an interest in his condition — if she 
 cheers and encourages him in his losses and in 
 his moments of depression, instead of railing at 
 him — if she endeavors to soothe and allay his 
 feelings when iriitated, instead of exciting them 
 to a flame of anger — then the influence of her 
 conduct will be of a highly beneficial character, 
 and her labors will not be unrewarded. 
 
 The influence that sisters are capable of ex- 
 ercising over brothers, is by no means inconsidera- 
 ble. Brought up in each other's company from 
 infancy — mingling in a great degree in the same 
 scenes, the same amusements — there is usually 
 an intimacy between sisters and brothers in 
 youthful life, much exceeding that between pa- 
 rents and children. The influence which the 
 sister thus acquires, she can wield, by a judi- 
 cious course, to great advantage. Often the 
 young man, while turning a deaf ear to the coun- 
 sel of parents, will readily listen to the advice 
 of an affectionate sister. Being nearer his age, 
 mingling with him in the same circle, and par- 
 taking to a considerable extent of the same re- 
 creations, she is enabled more fully to enter into 
 his feelings and appreciate the peculiarities of his 
 situation, than the parent, and is, therefore, bet- 
 ter prepared, in many cases, to impart counsel 
 and admonition that will have a salutary and 
 virtuous tendency. She can watch a brother's 
 failings, and by circumspection can so bring her 
 influence to bear, as to counteract, to a very im- 
 23 
 
,^66 FEMALC INFi.U£NCE, 
 
 portant extent, the baleful temptations to wnich 
 he is exposed. 
 
 Sisters can also exercise a salutary influence 
 over brothers younger in years. They mingie 
 much with them, and are often entrusted with 
 an oversight of them in the absence of parents, 
 when children throw off restraint and exhibit 
 more clearly their true disposition--. In these ca- 
 ses sisters should realize that there is no small de- 
 gree of responsibility resting upon them. They 
 should notice the development of the tender 
 minds of their brothers — should check every im- 
 proper expression, and every evil passion and 
 propensity, and exercise all their influence to 
 give their pliant minds and dispositions a vir- 
 tuous and benevolent cast. In this way, young 
 ladies can greatly assist their parents in train- 
 ing their brothers to usefulness and respecta- 
 bility. 
 
 I cannot forbear adding here, a few sugges- 
 tions relative to the influence of sisters over 
 brothers, extracted from a late popular work, by 
 an eminent female author, entitled the Young 
 Ladies' Friend. " The important relation which 
 sisters l»ear to brothers, can not be fully apprecia- 
 ted, without a greater knowledge of tlie world and 
 its temptations to young men, than girls in their 
 teens can be supposed to possess. I assure you, 
 that your companionship and influence may be 
 powerful agents in preserving your brothers from 
 dissipation, in saving them from dangerous inti- 
 
FEMALE INFLUENCE. 267 
 
 macies, and mainlainin^ in their minds, a high 
 standard of female excellence. If your brothers 
 are younger than you, encourage them to be per- 
 fectly confidential with you ; win their friendship 
 by your sympathy in all their concerns, and let 
 them see that their interests and their pleasures 
 are liberally provided for in the family arrange- 
 ment. Never disclose their little secrets, howev- 
 er unimportant they may seem to you; never 
 pain them by an ill-timed joke ; never repress 
 their feelings by ridicule ; but be their tenderest 
 friend, and then you may become their ablest ad- 
 viser. If they go into company with yeu, see 
 that they are introduced to the most desirable 
 acquaintances, and show them that you are in- 
 terested in their acquitting themselves well. If 
 you are so happy as to have elder brothers, you 
 should be equally assiduous in cultivating their 
 friendship, though the advances must of course 
 be differently made. Young men often feel the 
 want of a confidential friend of the softer sex, to 
 sympathise with them in their little affairs of 
 sentiment, and happy are those who find one in 
 a sister. Once possessed of an elder brother's 
 confidence, spare no pains to preserve it. Con- 
 vince him by the little sacrifices of personal con- 
 venience and pleasure which you are willing to 
 make for him, that when you do oppose his wish- 
 es, it is on principle and for conscience' sake ; 
 then will you be a blessing to him, and even when 
 differirg from yon, he will love and respect you 
 
268 FLMALL INFLUENCE. 
 
 the more for your adherence to a high standard. 
 So many temptations beset young men of which 
 young women know nothing, that it is of the 
 utmost importance that your brothers' evenings 
 should be happily passed at home, that their 
 friends should be your friends, tnat their engage- 
 ments should be the same as yours, and that va- 
 rious innocent amusements should be provided 
 for them in the family circle. Music is an ac- 
 complishment chiefly valuable as a home enjoy- 
 ment, as rallying round the piano, the various 
 members of a family, and harmonizing their hearts 
 as well as voices, particularly in devotional strains. 
 I know of no more agreeable and interesting 
 spectacle, than that of brothers and sisters play- 
 ing and singing together, those elevated compo- 
 sitions in music and poetry, which gratify the 
 taste and purify the heart, while the parents sit 
 delighted by. Brothers and sisters may greatly 
 aid each other in judging of their friends of the 
 opposite sex. Brothers can throw important 
 light upon the character and merits of young men, 
 because they see them when acting out their 
 natures before their comrades and relieved from 
 the restraints of the drawing room. And you 
 can in return, greatly assist your brothers in com- 
 ing to wise and just conclusions concerning their 
 female friends.— Your brothers may be very 
 much indebted to the quicker penetration of 
 women into each other's characters, and saved 
 by your discernment, from being fascinated by 
 
rEMALE INFLUENCE. 269 
 
 qualities that are not of sterling value ! I have 
 been told by men who had passed unharmed 
 through the temptations of youth, that they owed 
 their escape from many dangers, to the intimate 
 companionship of affectionate and pure minded 
 sisters. They have been saved from a hazard- 
 ous meeting with idle company, by some home 
 engagement, of which their sisters were the 
 charm; they have refrained from mixing with 
 the impure, because they would not bring home 
 thoughts and feelings which they could not share 
 with their trusting and loving friends. They 
 have put aside the wine cup, and abstamed from 
 strong potations, because they would not profane 
 with their fumes, the holy kiss with which 
 they were accustomed to bid their sisters good 
 night." 
 
 That mothers can exercise a valuable influence 
 over children, is beyond controversy. Who first 
 instructs the infant to lisp the language of its 
 fathers ? — the mother. Who first gives form and 
 consistency to ideas floating vaguely in its un- 
 skilled mind ? — the mother. Who first furnishes 
 it themes for thought and conversation? — the 
 mother. Who gives the first bias and direction 
 to its tender mind, both in moral and intellectua\ 
 respects? — the mother. How potent, then, is 
 the influence of mothers over children ! The sus- 
 ceptible mind of the child, is to the mother, "as 
 clay in the 1 ands of the potter." She can mould 
 and fashion it at will — she can sow the seeds of 
 23* 
 
2^0 rEMALE INFLUfiNUt. 
 
 virtue, and morality, and correct religious views, 
 both by precept and example, or she can allow 
 her ofl'spring to grow up under the sway of igno- 
 rance, and error, and evil passions. In most cases, 
 the mother is instmmental in laying the founda- 
 tion of those prominent characteristics, whether 
 good or bad, that distinguish her children through 
 hfe. To a mother was our beloved Washington 
 chiefly indebted for those principles of honor and 
 integrity, of virtue, patriotism and religion, which 
 so pre-eminently distinguished him in his trying 
 career. From a mother Napoleon obtained that 
 energy of character, that perseverance, industry 
 and self-possession, to which he was mainly in- 
 debted for his unparalleled success. It is im- 
 portant, therefore, that mothers, and those des- 
 tined to become mothers, should be aware of the 
 influence which they sway over their children, and 
 should be prepared to wield it in an advantageous 
 manner. Let them with care, scatter the seeds 
 of patriotism, morality and religion, early, in 
 ihe rich mental soil of their offspring, and un- 
 less counteracted by influences of an extremely 
 deleterious character, they will, in after life, yield 
 an abundant harvest of usefulness and respecta- 
 bility. 
 
 Although the influence ot woman is chiefly 
 exercised in domestic life, yet it is not confined 
 to that circle ; but to a certain extent, it bears di- 
 rectly upon community at large. On all public 
 occasions, where the presence of females is prop- 
 
r£MAL£ INFLUENCE. 271 
 
 er, they exercise a controling influence upon the 
 character of the proceedings. In civilized life, 
 deference is ever paid to the feelings and taste of 
 woman. In every assembly, whether the social 
 circle, the ball-room, the theatre, or any public 
 convocation where they are present, if females 
 would exercise their undisputed prerogative, and 
 unitedly frown upon every thing of an immoral 
 and dissolute characterj their modesty would 
 soon cease to be offended, and public morals, in 
 these respects, would be improved. But if re- 
 spectable ladies will give their countenance to 
 exhibitions of an improper character — if they 
 will ^ile approvingly, at attitudes, or gestures, 
 or words, that should call up the crimson blush 
 of shame — they mlist expect that such occurren- 
 ces will continue to be exhibited before them. 
 They have the remedy for this evil in their 
 own hands, and if they fail to exercise it, they 
 must continue to experience its deleterious influ- 
 ences. 
 
 Young ladies can also exercise a sensible in- 
 fluence upon the character of the young men 
 with whom they associate. They have the pow 
 cr of causing the conduct of their male associ 
 ates to be such as they desire. Let them refuse 
 to countenance or have any intercourse with 
 young men who are addicted to evil habits — let 
 them give a firm and indignant reproof to, or 
 withdraw immediately from the presence of 
 those yottiig men who exhibit any thing immoraJ 
 
JM'2 fEMALE IM'LOENCE. 
 
 or improper, either in word or deed — and maiiy 
 evils which now exist, would be abated. Young 
 men will almost invariably cause their conduct 
 to correspond with the tastes of the females in 
 whose company they desire to mingle. And in 
 the great majority of cases, they will abandon 
 any evil practice, rather than lose the approving 
 smiles of those ladies whom they esteem. Let 
 young women remember this truth, and exercise 
 the powerful influence they possess, in a prudent 
 manner, and efl'ects highly beneficial to them- 
 selves, and to community, will ensue. 
 
 The influence exercised by females over hus- 
 bands, orothers, and those with whom they are 
 intimate, is exceedingly varied in degree. While 
 some possess this influence to an extraordinary 
 extent, others appear wholly destitute of it. The 
 amount of influence depends entirely upon the 
 conduct observed towards those over whom it is 
 desirable to exercise it. Woman can not com- 
 mand man to conform to her tastes and views — 
 she must win him into conformity. Man often 
 accomplishes his purposes by power, and vio- 
 lence, and contention. But this is not woman's 
 province — these are not her weapons. She has 
 but one general course of procedure to obtain 
 an influence over those with whom she is con- 
 nected, or in whose welfare she is interested— 
 and that is, by persuasion, by kindness, by gen- 
 tleness and affection, by the continued exhibition 
 of a sweet temper, and of a loving and forgiving 
 
FKMALE INFLUENCE. 273 
 
 spirit. These, and these only, are the means by 
 which she can gain intiuence over the sterner 
 sex. It is contrary to human nature for man to 
 be coerced ox driven into any measure by woman, 
 and she who undertakes this course, is igno- 
 rant of her powers, ignorant of her proper sphere 
 of action, and blind to her own happiness ! 
 
 I am pained to declare, (yet the experience 
 of all will bear witness to its truth,) that the 
 wretchedness which many females experiencej 
 is too frequently caused, or at least augmented 
 and perpetuated, by their own misjudged con- 
 duct. Suppose you have reason to believe the 
 affections of the husband, or of the young man 
 with whom you had hoped to be connected for 
 life, are becoming cool toward you, and turning 
 to some other person, what course should you 
 pursue to regain his love ? Should you reproach 
 and deride him, and treat him with bitter scorn 
 and anger ? No — this conduct would be calcu- 
 lated directly to defeat the end you would ac- 
 complish — it would cause you to appear more 
 disagreeable to iiim than ever, and make a still 
 wider breach in his affections. The true poli- 
 cy for woman to pursue in this case, is to as- 
 sume all the lovely attractions of her nature — 
 to be forgiving, kind, affectionate, and as pleas- 
 ant and agreeable as possible. This is the only 
 course she can possibly adopt, with the least 
 prospect of winning him back to his first love ! 
 Suppose the husband absents himself from home, 
 
■I 4 FEMALL INKLULNCE. 
 
 *jj .ij>j.i 1.5 his leisure hours al the haunts of in- 
 lernjJLtance and vice, how shall the wife secure 
 his conipan/ by his own fire-side, and save him 
 from ruin 7 By meeting him on every return, 
 with a stor?n of clamor, and fury, and violence ? — 
 by making his ears " tingle" with a flood of harsh 
 invective and reproach ? — by causing herself, the 
 family, and the dwelling, to appear as disagreea- 
 ble and repulsive to him as possible? No — wo- 
 man, remember — no I This conduct will not, 
 can not, amend him — it will cause him to dislike 
 and dread home above all other places — it will 
 influence him to absent himself as frequently 
 and as long as possible, and rivet the chains of 
 vicious habits upon him { There is a better, a 
 more safe and successful method for you to pur- 
 sue. You need not aiprobate his vices, but 
 whenever you allude to them — which you may 
 frequently — do it in a kind lone of voice, and in 
 an aflectionate and beseeching manner. AntI 
 when he enters his dwelling, meet him with a 
 smile of love, instead of a frown of hatred — 
 be gentle, sweet, even-tempered, in all your 
 words and actions — let your dwelling be " swept 
 and garnished," and made as cheerful and pleas- 
 ant as possible — arrange all things to suit his 
 convenience and taste. The moment you have 
 made home more agreeable and satisfactory to 
 him than the places of his resort, that moment 
 you have achieved the victory. We are always 
 desirous to tarry tlic longrsi where we enjoy 
 
PF.MALK INFLUENCE. L'Tl 
 
 ourselves the best. If the wife studies to m?kfs 
 the domestic fire-side pleasant and delightf^Al tc 
 her companion, the case is rare that she will 
 have just cause to complain of his absence.. 
 By pursuing this prudent and judicious course 
 on the appearance of the first symptoms of an, 
 inclination in the husband to tarry needlessly 
 from home, and, indeed, when no such inclina 
 tion exists at all — the wife can not only secure 
 her own peace and enjoyment, but can save 
 the husband from threatened degradation and 
 ruin * 
 
 Such being a general view of the influence 
 possessed by woman in hei* different stations in 
 society, young ladies will perceive the importance 
 of qualifying themselves to sway it, in a manne? 
 beneficial to themselves and their race. Thr 
 saying, that "woman rules the Avorld," can hard 
 ly be an exaggeration. Her power is immense ^ 
 and when properly directed, can be the cause o: 
 an incalculable amount of good. But woman 
 should remember that she can rule only by plea 
 sing — and she can never please by stepping out 
 of her proper sphere and arbitrarily demanding to 
 to rule. It is necessary that young ladies shoul(? 
 reflect much upon the peculiarities of the condi 
 tion they will be likely to occupy in community . 
 
 * The remarks in this chapter, applicable to marriea 
 ladies, are naiuially involved in the subject of female 
 influance, and are addressed to young women, from the 
 supposition that the most of those who peruse these line^ 
 will, in due time, enter the marriage state. 
 
276 FEMALE INFLUENCB. 
 
 that by a full understanding of the necessary re- 
 quisites, they may be prepared for a faithful and 
 useful discharge of all the duties that may devolve 
 upon them. 
 
CHAPTER III. 
 
 EARLY ASSOCIATES. 
 
 The love of society is an emotion deeply im- 
 planted in human nature. To be in the presence 
 of our fellow-beings, to interchange thoughts, 
 emotions and opinions, upon subjects mutually 
 interesting, is a source of high intellectual and 
 social enjoyment. This inclination for society, 
 termed by Phrenologists, " Adhesiveness," has 
 been exhibited in all ages. Amid the blooming 
 beauties of Eden, the happiness of our father 
 Adam was not complete, until a companion was 
 provided to be the sharer of his thoughts and his 
 joys. In childhood, this propensity for society is 
 early developed. Children evince an exceeding 
 fondness for each other's company; and soon 
 they form those friendships and attachments, 
 which frequently,continue through life. 
 
 The social inclination appears to exist more 
 strongly in woman than in man. Under the in- 
 fluence of misanthropic feelings, man sometimes 
 go far violates the promptings of his nature, as to 
 24 277 
 
5J78 F.Utl.Y AHyOCIATEB. 
 
 withdraw from all intercourse wiili his fellow- 
 beings, and in the gloomy mountain cavern, or 
 the far recesses of the forest, pass his days in 
 dreary solitude. But in the whole history of our 
 race, I know not that there is an instance record- 
 ed, where woman thus voluntarily banished her- 
 self from society. It is well known that females 
 in the years of childhood and youth, exhibit to a 
 high degree, this love of social intercourse. They 
 delight to mingle together ; and by a mutual dis- 
 position to please, they confer enjoyment upon 
 each other. These feelings are natural and 
 proper; and the young should be allowed to in- 
 dulge them to a consistent extent. 
 
 The influence exercised upon young ladies by 
 their associates, must necessarily be great, and 
 will exert an important tendency in the forma- 
 tion of character. " We are all," says Locke, 
 " a kind of chameleons, that take a tincture frona 
 the objects that surround us." It is a maxim of 
 Solomon, that "he that walketh with wise men 
 shall be wise, but a companion of fools shall be 
 destroyed." And the same wise man utters 
 another admonition of similar import — " Make 
 no friendship with an angry man, and with a 
 furious man thou shalt not go ; lest thou learn 
 his ways, and get a snare to thy soul." These 
 maxims are founded upon the well known pro- 
 pensity in human nature, to imitate the charac- 
 teristics of those with whom we associate. We 
 slowly, yet surely, imbibe a certain degree of 
 
EAtlLY ASSOCIATES. 279 
 
 the disposition, tastes and habits, whether good 
 or bad, of our companions. Their peculiarities 
 in thinking, speaking and acting, gradually be- 
 come oursj and we ere long, in a measure, see 
 with their eyes, and hear with their ears. 
 
 How necessary, then, young ladies, that you 
 should exercise great precaution and circumspec 
 tion, in the selection of your associates of both 
 sexes. You should not trust this matter entirely 
 to chance — you should not mingle indiscrimin- 
 ately with whatever company you may casually 
 come in contact ; but with prudence and care, 
 should you select those with whom you would 
 associate and form intimacies. You can not be 
 too careful in regard to the character, habits and 
 accomplishments of those whom you choose for 
 companions. An associate of loose morals, of 
 low and indelicate habits, whose conversation is 
 vulgar, and whose general demeanor is unculti- 
 vated, will exercise an influence over you, the del- 
 eterious consequences of which may be ruin and 
 wretchedness. Mankind seem to imbibe vicious 
 habits more readily than those that are virtuous. 
 This can be accounted for on no other principle 
 han that exertion, industry and perseverance 
 are necessary to acquire or retain virtuous habits 
 against the assaults of vicious temptations — while 
 to become corrupt and depraved, it is only requis- 
 ite that we allow our mental and moral powers 
 to remain in a quiescent, indolent state, and per- 
 mit the passions^to obtnin that control which they 
 
280 EAHLY AabUCIATES. 
 
 are ever seeking. Hence, one corrupt compan- 
 ion with whom you are intimate, will often coua- 
 leract and overthrow all the admonitions and per- 
 suasions to virtue, that can be brought to bear 
 upon you. But the influence of pure and virtu- 
 ous companions, can not but be salutary and ben- 
 eficial. 
 
 Community will jud.-^p your character by the 
 character of your asso.utes. If you seek the 
 company of those who are circumspect, prudent 
 and well-informed, it will evince to the world 
 that you highly estimate these qualifications, and 
 you will be proportionately exalted in public es- 
 timation. But if yon mingle with the rude and 
 vulgar, people will readily conclude you are drawn 
 into such associations by a similarity of taste and 
 inclinations, and will judge you accordingly. And 
 when a young lady once awakens suspicions in 
 this manner, as to her character, it is diflficult— i- 
 exceedingly so — to free herself from dishonora- 
 ble imputations ! 
 
 The counsel of parents, and of tried friends 
 more advanced in life, should be duly heeded in 
 selecting associates. You may be blinded by 
 prepossession to the faults of those with whom 
 you would mingle ; but others, uninfluenced by 
 improper bias, can more distinctly perceive the 
 imperfections of your companions, and are thus 
 enabled to warn you of the dangers to which you 
 may be exposed— and wise is she, who will lis- 
 ten to and obey such precautions. 
 
EARLY ASSOCIATES. 281 
 
 That the young should be fond of sprightly 
 company and of cheerful conversation, is to be 
 expected — it is the natural inclination of their 
 age, when all the emotions are vigorous and elas- 
 tic. When these bouyaut feelings are controlled 
 by modesty and characterized by sense, they may 
 be indulged to advantage. But while you are at 
 liberty to select associates who are cheerful, see 
 that you do not choose those who allow their ani- 
 mation to degenerate into levity and immorality; 
 but rather those whose free flow of good feeling, 
 is the medium of the acquisition or communica- 
 tion of useful information or accomplishments. 
 Wisdom and knowledge may be arrayed in garbs 
 that are cheerful and pleasing. 
 
 I would not have young ladies too fastidious in 
 the choice of associates, or imagine they must 
 look alone to the higher circles in society, either 
 for companions or examples; for, unfortunately, 
 these circles are often deficient in both, of value. 
 It is better to select those with whom you would 
 form friendships from the circle to which you be- 
 ong, than to choose unworthy associates from a 
 igher class. You should not look for perfection 
 n any of your fellow-beings — you will perceive 
 ailings in the most perfect. But there are cer- 
 tain general characteristics which those wih 
 whom you associate should possess. They should 
 be kind and amiable in disposition, and discreet, 
 prudent and modest in deportment — they should 
 possess sound morals, and have a due regard to 
 2-1+ 
 
2B2 EARLY A8dUClAt£0. 
 
 religious subjects — they should be free from hab- 
 its of fault-finding and tale-bearing:, free from in- 
 dolence and slovenliness — they should not be at- 
 tached to gaieties of a frivolous character, or in 
 love with those amusements which exert a delete- 
 rious influence upon public morals — they should 
 possess sound understandings and well-informed 
 jainds, or minds that are inclined to seek for lise- 
 ful infdrmation. With such, associate, and from 
 among them choose those with whom you would 
 form friendships and intimacies. But shun those 
 who are deficient in these valuable qualifications. 
 While the greater proportion of the above will 
 apply to associates not only of your own sex, but 
 of the opposite, I would, nevertheless, indite a 
 few precautions in especial reference to the latter. 
 tt is very proper that you should associate with 
 young men, under the salutary restrictions of pro- 
 priety and good breeding. But if it is necessary 
 that you should be cautious in regard to your 
 companions of your own sex, how much more 
 important that you should exercise great prudence 
 in relation to the character of the young men with 
 whom you associate — especially of those with 
 whom you are intimate ! Make it a fixed princi- 
 ple of conduct, never to countenance the atten- 
 tions or the company of young men who are pro- 
 fane, or dishonest, or intemperate, or addicted to 
 any improper or dissolute habits. Their society 
 is dangerous — your respectability and happiness 
 are hazarded by associating with them— and to 
 
EARLY ASSOCIAltS. 283 
 
 form a connection with them for life, would be 
 extremely liable to entail wretchedness upon you. 
 Avoid, also, the society of Jlatterers. They 
 are an unworthy, and generally an unprincipled 
 class. The man who endeavors to flatter you, 
 insults your understanding, by taking it for grant- 
 ed that you are so weak-minded gls not to per- 
 ceive the emptiness of his fulsome adulation^ 
 The flatterer has never a good motive in view — 
 he never flatters to benefit you — and although his 
 words may fall upon your ears with honied sweet- 
 ness, yet remember, they Are filled with the poi- 
 son of pollution and moral death. William Penn, 
 in writing to his daughters, gave them this sal- 
 utary advice — "Avoid flatterers, for they are 
 thieves in disguise — their praise is costly, design- 
 ing to injure those they bespeak — they are the 
 worst of creatures — they lie to flatter, and flatter 
 to cheat — and, which is worse, if you believe 
 them, you cheat yourselves most dangerously.'' 
 With young men who are moral, virtuous aud in- 
 dustrious, who have some laudable occupation, 
 whose habits are pure and upright, who honor 
 and respect your sex, and are under the sway o , 
 correct religious principles, you can freely asso 
 ciate, with mutual improvement and benefit. 
 
CHAPTER IV. 
 
 FORMING THE MANNERS. 
 
 "Man.S'Ers tiKiketh man,'' is a motto inscribed 
 m the celebrated school of William of Wykharn, 
 at Winchester, England. And it is no less true, 
 in the same sense, that manners maketh the lady. 
 If a lack of good manners, if vulgarity and indel- 
 icacy, are failings disgusting even in man, how 
 much more unbecoming are they in woman ! A 
 •due cultivation of the manners, the general de- 
 portment, is of high importance to young ladies. 
 Next to purity of character and sweetness of dis- 
 position, you depend for success in life, upon a 
 well-regulated outward deportment. In regard 
 to exterior appearance, " manners, and not dress, 
 are the ornaments of woman." The dress may 
 blaze with jewels — the brow may be encircled. by 
 a glittering tiara of diamonds — yet if the manners 
 are haughty and scornful, or coarse and vulgar, 
 in vain is the costly attire assumed ; it can not 
 inspire aSecticn or respect in those who are dis- 
 crimi':.eiiing. But a demeanor characteTized by 
 
 284 
 
FORMING THE MANNERS. 285 
 
 modesty, circumspection, frankness, and good 
 temper — not too forward, nor too reserved — will 
 secure for you the confidence and esteem of your 
 acquaintance, even though your dress be of the 
 most plain and simple character. Let me assure 
 you, young ladies, that, let young men say what 
 they will, ihey are much sooner captivated by a 
 modest, delicate demeanor, than by a brazen 
 boldness. I do not assert that a set, ceremonious 
 deportment is necessary to render a young wo- 
 man engaging, but 1 insist that propriety in man- 
 ners, is an essential requisite to a pleasing appear- 
 ance. 
 
 In no country is it more important to cultivate 
 good manners than in our own ; and yet there is 
 a great deficiency of care and instruction in this 
 particular. " A young girl often grows up, with- 
 out ever being told that to laugh audibly in pub- 
 lic, or in crowded assemblies, is not good man- 
 ners ; that presenting herself at the end of a 
 crowded bench, and looking for a seat, till some 
 gentleman feels himself obliged to give her his, 
 
 is very ill-bred You will be careful not to wear 
 
 any head-dress that will prevent those behind 
 you from seeing well ; you will never by whis- 
 pering, hinder those around you from hearing 
 easily ; you will never seem to claim any partic- 
 ular seat as your right ; you will never attempt 
 to keep seats for those of your party who come 
 later than you ; you will never suffer, much less 
 oblige, a gentleman to relinquish to you tne good 
 
286 roRMiNo THE manners. 
 
 seal which he has fairly earned by going very 
 early, and sitting long in patience. You will 
 carefully avoid going in late, and disturbing the 
 company after the lecture has begun ; but if you 
 do chance to arrive late, you will step softly, and 
 take the first seat you can find, instead of making 
 further interruption, by parading through the 
 
 room in search of a better If you are the first 
 
 to occupy a seat, and it is open at both ends, you 
 should take the middle of it; if open only at one 
 end, you should take that part next the wall; be- 
 cause by not doing this, you either oblige people 
 to crowd past you, or you make a great stir by- 
 moving every time one is added to the number 
 
 Always think of the good of the whole audience, 
 rather than of your own individual convenience. 
 This rule is often transgressed in crowded assem- 
 blies, in warm weather. The windows are open- 
 ed for the good of the whole ; but the air comes 
 too powerfully on the neck of some individual, 
 and she very coolly desires that the window may 
 be shut, entirely regardless of those who, in the 
 middle of the building, are panting for that breath 
 of fresh air which she is shutting out. Health 
 and life may depend on your not sitting in tha 
 draught of air ; but if so, you should protect your- 
 self by additional clothing, change your seat, or 
 leave the place, rather than incommode hundreds 
 by having a window shut on your account. I 
 have seen a large assembly of people almost suf- 
 focated for want of fresh air in consequence of 
 
FORMLNG THE MANNERS. 287 
 
 one window after another being closed, at the 
 request of some two or three persons sitting by 
 them."* 
 
 The first impressions we receive in regard to 
 persons, are often lasting. And m mingling in 
 society, the stranger forms his first conclusions 
 of your worth, from your manners. It is true, a 
 fair countenance, or a symmetrical form, may at- 
 tract the eye of a stranger; but if, in his farther 
 scrutiny, he discovers superciliousness or vulgar- 
 ity in manners, the charms of person vanish, and 
 disgust lakes place of admiration. But when 
 your deportment is dictated by propriety, you 
 have the advantage on iatroduction of making a 
 favorable impression at once. People generally 
 will draw some conclusion from your manners, 
 in regard to your real character and disposition , 
 for the outward demeanor is always understood, 
 without something is distinctly known to the con- 
 trary, as indicating the moral principles and the 
 emotions of the heart. " You may take two in- 
 dividuals of precisely the same degree of intellect 
 and moral worth, and let the manners of the one 
 be bland and attractive, and those of the other, 
 distant or awkward, and you will find that the 
 former will pass through life with far more ease 
 and comfort than the latter. For though good 
 manners will never effectually conceal a bad 
 Heart, and are, in no case, any atonement for it. 
 
 ♦ Young Lady's Friend. 
 
2S8 KOnMlNO THE .MANNERS. 
 
 yetj taken in connection wiih amiable and tirlu. 
 ous dispositions, they natumlly and necessarily 
 gain upon the respect and good-will of mankind.' 
 Let it be understood that the real source of 
 good manners and a pleasing deportment, is in 
 the heart. They must rest upon kind, amiable 
 benevolent feelings — upon a disposition of good i, 
 will towards your fellow-beings, and a desire to 
 minister to their enjoyments. Unless these emo- 
 tions dwell in the soul, and influence the con- 
 duct, young ladies can not display that pleasing, 
 attractive demeanor upon which, from their con- 
 dition, they so much defend for prosperity in life. 
 The dancing and the posture masters may giv« 
 a certain polish to the manners, but without these 
 kind emotions of the soul, they will be cold, hypo- 
 critical, and repulsive ; and in such an instance, 
 the least discernment is sufficient to satisfy the 
 spectator, that although bows, and smiles, and 
 simpers plentifully abound, yet the heart is unin- 
 terested and insensible. Such efforts to please 
 are thrown away. But when the heart possesses 
 the proper feelings — when you are kindly dis- 
 posed toward all — it will require but little train- 
 ing fo cause the manners to become proper and 
 pleasing. Be it remembered, then, that, in ac- 
 quiring pleasing manners, the attention must first 
 be directed to the heart ! Banish from it all im- 
 proper desires and evil dispositions, all emotions 
 of haughtiness, pride, envy, jealousy, hatred and 
 enniity — let no feelings obtain ascendancy there, 
 
FORMING THE MANNERS. 289 
 
 but such as are amiable, kind, and praiseworthy-— 
 and without the shade of a doubt, your deport- 
 ment will be appropriate and attractive. 
 
 You should not mistake in what the character- 
 istics of a genuine " lady" consist. Remembei 
 that "in this privileged land, where we acknowl- 
 edge no distinctions but what are founded on 
 character and manners, she is a lady who, to in- 
 Dred modesty and refinement, adds a scrupulous 
 attention to the rights and feelings of others. 
 Let her worldly possessions be great or small, let 
 her occupations be what they may, such a one 
 is a lady, B. gentlewoman! While the person 
 who is bold, coarse, vociferous, and inattentive to 
 the rights and feelings of others, who is haughty 
 and overbearing, let her possessions be ever so 
 great, and her way of living ever so genteel, and 
 her beauty ever so fascinating, is a vulgar wo- 
 man. Thus we may sec a ludy sewing for her 
 livelihood, and a vulgar woman moving in fash- 
 ionable circles, or presiding over a most expen- 
 sive establishment." 
 
 In forming the manners, it is well to adopt 
 some model for imitation. To this end, select 
 from the circle of your acquaintance, some one or 
 more females who are your seniors in age, whose 
 general deportment is worthy of your imitation — ^ 
 allowance being made for diversity of age and 
 condition. Let your model combine every qual- 
 ification that is useful and agreeable — remember- 
 ing that " those who speak well and do well, 
 25 
 
2lH) Foa-Ml.>G THE MA.NNERS. 
 
 ahould alone be imitated." I would not have 
 you servilely imitate every word and action ; this 
 uuiild bcjGt a formality that woulJ be ilisgust- 
 iiig: ; and there are peculiarities in manners whicii 
 are beconiing in some, that would be disaijreea- 
 ble and repulsive in others. But by having an 
 example before you, and by conforming therewith 
 in your general deportment, your demeanor will 
 soon naturally become characterized by an attrac- 
 tive propriety. 
 
 Affectation and vanity are to he sedulously 
 avoided by every young woman. To assume 
 manners, attitudes, and forms of speech, that are 
 not natural or becoming — to take upon you an 
 appearance of accomplishments and refinements, 
 which you do not possess — in fine, to pretend to 
 be what you arc not — is a practice exceedingly 
 repulsive ; it is unworthy the female character, 
 and will subj,ect you to ridicule and contempt. It 
 is assuming a gloss which is easily seen through 
 — it is adopting a deception which is readily de- 
 tected ; and the results of these false assumptions 
 will be greatly to your injury. Never be guilty 
 of puerile affectations and indications of false 
 modesty. Let your conduct be characterized by 
 prudent frankness, simplicity, and candor, and it 
 will be far more agreeable and winning. " Del- 
 icacy is, in truth, a shy and sensitive plant, which 
 shrmks from observation, and is frequently most 
 abundant where the least of it is obtruded upon 
 our notice. There are, doubtless, some ladies. 
 
FORMING THE ..IANNER8. 291 
 
 who from nourisiiing a moibid sensibility, are 
 delicate to excess. But, generally speaking, they 
 who make a troublesome and ostentatious display 
 of delicacy, atfect that which they do not feel. 
 The young reader may be assured, that this affec- 
 tation is not only wicked for its hypocrisy, but 
 very injurious to the reputation of those who dis- 
 play it. Real piety shuns all singularities, and 
 never courts observation by ostentatious rigor. 
 It is the same with delicacy. That which is 
 real, is always unobtrusive and unstudied. The 
 innocent, having nothing to conceal, practice no 
 art; and an open simplicity of manner, the very 
 reverse of affectation, is an infallible symptom 
 and sure companion of true delicacy." 
 
 You -should also avoid a haughty, overbearing 
 disposition and air. This is deprecated when 
 seen in men ; but it is far more unnatural and 
 disagreeable in women. With those who, from 
 their vices, are unworthy your respect, you 
 should hold no intercourse whatever. But who- 
 ever, from their virtues, are deserving your re- 
 spect, should be treated in accordance with their 
 merits. Your conduct towards them should be 
 marked by affability, condescension, and esteem, 
 whatever may be their rank or condition. A 
 haughty woman is disliked by her own sex, and 
 shunned by the other, as one who is, or will be, a 
 termagant. 
 
 There are several qualifications indispensably 
 requisite to the deportin^'nt of ladiee. and without 
 
292 FORMING Tllli MANNERB. 
 
 which, all other conceivable accomplishnQents 
 are vain. It is hardly necessary to inform the 
 young lady, that among these, modesty, holds the 
 highest rank. Modesty is a bright jewel in the 
 character of woman. It imparts a loveliness and 
 attraction to all accomplishments, which we look 
 for in vain in its absence. '• It heightens all the 
 virtues which it accompanies ; like the shades in 
 paintings, it raises and rounds every figure, and 
 makes the colors more beautiful, though not so 
 glaring as they would be without it." Modesty 
 is not only an ornament to the female character, 
 but one of its surest safe-guards. It is a monitor 
 that warns of approaching danger, and ca^ises its 
 possessor to flee from evil, and to shrink from 
 even the appearance of impropriety. Addison 
 asserts with truth, that '' if you banish modesty 
 out of the world, she carries away with her, half 
 the virtue there is in it." And I would add, if 
 you banish modesty from the characteristics of 
 woman, you destroy one of the highest attractions 
 she possesses. Modesty atones for the absence 
 of many other accomplishments. The young 
 lady who is unskilled in many of the technicali- 
 ties of refinement, is still attractive when modes- 
 ty characterizes her demeanor — while the reign- 
 ing belle, who is a proficient in all the accom- 
 plishments of the age, is repulsive and disgust- 
 ing, when exhibiting an immodest demeanor. 
 
 In connection with this subject, there is a prac- 
 tice against which I can not avoid cautioning 
 
FORMING TUi; MANNERS, i293" 
 
 young ladies. I refer to public " fairs," or auc- 
 tions — one of those modern schemes in which 
 ladies have been induced to engage, to filch 
 money from community. In these "fairs," young 
 women present themselves to the gaze of a mis- 
 cellaneous multitude, as public traffickers; and 
 every device is put into execution, to draw " the 
 filthy lucre" from the pockets of gentlemen. Is 
 it not evident, that on these occasions, many 
 ladies place more dependence upon a display of 
 their charms and the fascination of their manners, 
 to obtain money, than upon the real value of the 
 articles exposed for sale? These "fairs" could, 
 with more propriety, be termed "public marts for 
 the display of female arts and fascinations." — 
 These public exhibitions — these scenes of ban- 
 tering and trickery — require in the ladies enga- 
 ged in them, a boldness, a brazen confidence, a 
 masculine air and manner, little according with 
 that retiring modesty, that sensitive delicacy, so 
 pre-eminently becoming in woman ! I would 
 caution young ladies against this public display 
 of their persons — this practice of extorting and 
 begging money from the male sex. It has an in- 
 decorous appearance, and its tendency upon their 
 modesty and innate purity of heart, must be any 
 thing but salutary. I am aware that these 
 schemes are generally got up under the ostensible 
 name of charity. But who does not know that 
 there are other, and more commendable and ap- 
 propriate ways, in which ladies can exert them- 
 25* 
 
294 rOHMINQ IHE MAf^NERS. 
 
 •elves ill ilie cause of true benevolence, without 
 violating that delicacy which is the crowning 
 charm of their nature? 
 
 Gentleness is another necessary ingredient in 
 the manners of the lady. A harsh, headstrong 
 disposition, is peculiarly unbecoming in woman ; 
 it gives a masculine cast to her character, which 
 is far from being agreeable. Superior talents and 
 elegant accomplishments are entirely negatory, 
 unless accompanied by a gentle, docile disposi- 
 tion. Gentleness is peculiarly a womanly endow- 
 ment. It imparts a sweetness, an attraction, to 
 the whole character, that is truly prepossessing. 
 
 Young ladies can not be too cautious in regard 
 10 their deportment towards their associates of 
 the male sex. In this respect, there are two ex- 
 tremes to be avoided — a forward, coquetish famil- 
 iarity, on the one hand, and a prudish, afTected 
 reserve, on the other. To shun both these ex- 
 tremes, and occupy that medium ground which is 
 dictated by propriety, is that peculiar province of 
 woman, in which her own good sense must be 
 her director. You should, however, be aware, 
 that the conversation and manners of young men 
 in your presence, will depend much upon your 
 own tastes. You have no inconsiderable power 
 in causing their demeanor toward you to be 
 agreeable. If, as has been remarked in another 
 chapter, their language or deportment is not such 
 as you would have it, much of the blame can be 
 attached to yourselves ; because you have the 
 
FORMING THE MANNERS. 295 
 
 remedy in your own hands. By withdrawing 
 from tlieir presence, or by a firm, decided repri- 
 mand, you can show your displeasure, and the 
 evil is remedied. For, believe me, when young , 
 men ascertain your principles and tastes, they 
 will studiously endeavor to conform to them, if 
 they desire to frequent your company. 
 
 Never aspire after the name of a " belle." 
 Young ladies of this character, may be followed 
 by a crowd of flatterers for a season ; but they 
 are utterly incapable of inspiring that true affec- 
 tion which is so requisite to the peace and happi- 
 ness of woman. They are despised by their own 
 sex, and distrusted by the other. And after 
 reigning for a season, they generally throw them- 
 selves away on some senseless fop, incapable of 
 cherishing true esteem, to pass with him a 
 wretched life. " Men of loose morals or imper- 
 tinent behavior, must always be avoided ; or, if 
 at any time you are obliged to be in their com- 
 pany, you must keep them at a distance by cold 
 civility. But in regard to those gentlemen with 
 whom your parents or. guardians think it proper 
 for you to associate, and who give no offence by 
 their manners, to them behave with the same 
 frankness and simplicity as if they were of your 
 own sex. If you have natural modesty, you will 
 never transgress its bounds whilst you converse 
 with a man, as one rational creature with another. 
 You should endeavor to distinguish real esteem 
 and love f "m idle gallantry and unmeaning fine 
 
S90 rORMINU IHE MAMN£R8. 
 
 speeches. The slighter notice you take of these 
 last, the better; but the first must be treated with 
 seriousness and well-bred sincerity — not giving 
 the least encouragement you do not mean, nor 
 assuming airs of contempt, where it is not de- 
 served."* 
 
 The subject of female manners can not be bet- 
 ter summed up, than in the words of a late wri- 
 ter, who thus speaks of Mrs. Hannah More, the 
 celebrated English authoress :—" It was my 
 privilege, a few years ago, to make a visit to the 
 residence of this distinguished female; a visit 
 which I have ever since regarded as among the 
 ilie happiest incidents of my life. At that time 
 she numbered more than four score years ; but 
 the vigor of her intellect was scarcely at all im- 
 paired. In her manners she united the dignity 
 and refinement of the court, with the most ex- 
 quisite urbanity and gentleness, which the female 
 character, in its loveliest forms, ever exhibited. 
 She impressed me continually with a high sense 
 of the intellectual and moral qualities by which 
 she was distinguished, but still left me as uncon- 
 strained as if I had been conversing with my be- 
 loved child. . There was an air of graceful and 
 unaffected ease ; an instinctive regard to the 
 most delicate proprieties of social intercourse — a 
 readiness to communicate, and yet a desire to 
 listen — the dignity of conscious merit, united 
 
 ♦ Young Lady's Own Book. 
 
FORMING THE MANNERS. 297 
 
 with the humility of the devoted Christian — in 
 short, there was sach an assemblage of intellec- 
 tual and moral excellences beaming forth in 
 every expression, and look, and attitude^ that I 
 could scarcely conceive of a more perfect exhibi- 
 tion of human character. 
 
CHAPTER V. 
 
 THE HABITS. 
 
 Habit exercises a most powerful sway over 
 human actions. It is a chain that is insidiously 
 \vinding itself around us, and binding us to vir- 
 tue or vice — to principles that will lead to pros- 
 perity and peace, or to practices which will in- 
 volve us in infamy and wretchedness. With our 
 existence commences our habits; and in exact 
 ratio with our bodies do they increase in strength 
 and power. The character of the habits depends 
 entirely upon circumstances, the kind of instruc- 
 tion to which we have been subjected, and the 
 nature of the influences exercised over us. Habits 
 formed in infancy and childliood, can easily be 
 corrected and moulded into the desired channels ; 
 but those fixed upon us at maturity, it is extreme- 
 ly difficult and often impossible to eradicate, or 
 even to modify to nny great extent. Youth 
 therefore, wJien ilie judgnient has become suffi- 
 ciently developed to meditate seriously upon 
 those subject.? that pertain to our welfare, is a 
 
 2m 
 
THE HAB1T3. 299 
 
 season peculiarly well fitted for the formation of 
 those habits which Ave woultl have influence. us 
 througli liie.' Let a proper foundation be laid in 
 youth — let the habits both cf body and of mind, 
 be examined and corrected — let those that are 
 deleterious be expunged, and those that are good 
 be added — and the beneficial fruits of this labor 
 will be experienced through life. 
 
 Good habits should be esteemed as valuable 
 friends. They will assist you in every proper 
 thought and deed ; and they not only impart their 
 own grateful fruits, but they possess the most 
 valuable tendencies — purifying the mind and 
 leading it genfly in the paths of virtue and pro- 
 priety. One good habit opens the door for the 
 introduction of another — and as they increase in 
 number, they all increase in power, in influence 
 and durability. But you should always look upon 
 bad habits as your enemies. They oppose your 
 enjoyment and prosperity ; and just so far as 
 their influence extends, to the same degree will 
 you be involved in wretchedness and ignominy. 
 One bad habit will not remain satisfied in pos- 
 session of your mind. Its deleterious influence 
 will not only direetly afiect your enjoyments, but 
 will be continually exerted to call in another evil 
 habit, and another, until they become a multitude, 
 gaining gradually an entire control over you. 
 And remember, that as your bad habits increase in 
 number, they also increase in strength and deprav- 
 ity, until they finally plunge their victim into the 
 
300 THE H\BIT9. 
 
 depths of wretchedness. You should, hence, be 
 extremely cautious not to acquire even one habit 
 thil is of a demoralizing or injurious character; 
 for you can resist the encroachments of one, with 
 far greater success, than to delay until it is rein- 
 forced by a multitude. Strike down the first of 
 these foes, however feeble it may appear, and then 
 you may be able to resist the host in its rear; but 
 admit a few of the vanguard, and they will exert 
 themselves to bind your higher powers, and in- 
 troduce all their evil companions. 
 
 Allow me to direct your attention to a few of 
 the habits indispensably necessary to the pros- 
 perity of young ladies. 
 
 Industry. — The benefits of industry are mani- 
 fold. You were made for industrious activity. 
 This is evident from the construction of your 
 bodies. For what purpose were joints, and sin- 
 ews, and muscles, given to you, but for exercise? 
 By a proper use of them, you will secure health 
 and its enjoyments; but if you allow them to re- 
 main almost wholly inactive, the consequences 
 will be painful diseases and early decay. Every 
 /hing in nature's works exhibits industry. The 
 earth never wearies in its diurnal and annual rev- 
 olutions; the rapid wind, the falling rain, the 
 lushing rivulet, the billowy ocean, all exhibit 
 ceaseless industry. And animals of every spe- 
 cies display an activity in accordance with their 
 construction and wants. Even the vegetable 
 kingdom is filled with industry — 
 
THE HAB1T3. 30' 
 
 •* See dying vegetables life sustain, 
 
 See life dissolving, vegetate a^ain; 
 
 All forms that perish, other forms supply." 
 
 By what rule is the human race exempted fron 
 sharing ia this universal industry ? Tho*;e whc 
 look upan occupation a .-: labor as tvils, are evi 
 dently ignorant of their own construction and na 
 ture. A slight acquaintance with the principle! 
 of physiology, will instruct you, that without 
 bodily exercise, you can not experience the high 
 blessing of health. If you arrest the course o<! 
 the pure gushing stream, and cause its waters U 
 stagnate, how soon it becomes filmy and nause- 
 ous — a green slime gathers on its surface anc 
 noxious insects breed in its bosom ! And thus ii 
 is with a human body. Let it remain inactivt 
 and dormant — let its muscles and sinews be bui 
 seldom and slightly exercised — cramp and circum- 
 scribe its powers and energies, and debility and 
 sickness ere long ensue. This is, evidently, tht 
 reason why so many people of wealth (especially 
 females) are afflicted with lingering diseases 
 Looking upon industrious occupation as degra 
 ding and upnecessary, they indulge in slothful and 
 misnamed ease; and when the bitter etfect ol 
 their folly comes upon them — when the pamper- 
 ed body is filled with disease and pain, they per- 
 haps murmur at the decrees of Providence. But 
 the blame can not be attached to Providence. 
 The Creator formed the human race with capa- 
 bilities of great enjoyment ; and if they fail prop- 
 26 
 
302 THE HABITS. 
 
 erljr to exercise these capacities, the deficiency io 
 their pleasures will be of their own procuring. 
 And it is in vain to resort to nostrums to build 
 up an artificial health. Having been lost by lux- 
 ury and slothfuinessj hcalih cannot be regained 
 but by temperance and an industrious employ- 
 ment. 
 
 It is peculiarly necessary that young women 
 should have much exercise. It develops their 
 frames, strengthens their constitutions, and gives 
 the freshness of health to all their bodily origans, 
 and the glow of beauty to their countenances. 
 It is a lack of industrious occupation, tiiat gives 
 paleness to the features, and brings disease and 
 early dissolution to the bodies of so many females. 
 There is no trait in a young lady more useful and 
 admirable, than industry. It is a high recommen- 
 dation to the favor of those whose approbation is 
 desirable. But how reprehensil)le, how repulsive 
 and disgusting, is indolence m a young woman. 
 She who loiters aw^ay her time over a novel, or in 
 idle gossip, while, perhaps, her aged mother is 
 overloaded with the affairs of the household, ia 
 marked by community. No one can respect or 
 admireTier. While she continues a stave to in- 
 dolence, she is the most useless object on earth! 
 Utterly incapable of usefulness, or of conferring 
 any valuable benefit upon her fellow-beings, she 
 is a burden to herself and to those with whom 
 she is connected. 
 
 If you would enjoy health and retain beauty — 
 
THE HABITS. S03 
 
 if you would secure esteem and affection — if you 
 would be useful to yourself and the world — you 
 must be industrious. Let your circumstances b2 
 what they may, industry is inseparably connected 
 with your happiness. You should acquire the 
 habit of being constantly employed in some use- 
 ful manner, and should frequently engage in those 
 occupations which call into exercise your bodily 
 strength and activity. A female writer remarks : 
 " While the most delicate effects of the needle 
 rank high among accomplishments, its necessary 
 departments are not beneath the notice of the 
 >nost refined young lady. To keep her own 
 wardrobe perfectly in order, to pay just regard to 
 economy and to the comfort of the poor, will in- 
 duce her to obtain a knowledge of those inven- 
 tions by which the various articles of apparel are 
 repaired, modified, and renovated. True satis- 
 faction and cheerfulness of spirits are connected 
 with these quiet and congenial pursuits. The 
 generous pleasure of relieving a mother or a friend 
 from the pressure of care, will sometimes induce 
 young ladies to acquaint themselves with em- 
 ployments which enable them, when the more 
 complex duties of life devolve on them, to en- 
 joy and impart the delights of a well-ordered 
 home." 
 
 '• // rains ! What lady loves a rainy day 7 
 
 She loves a rainy day who sweeps the hearth, 
 
 And threads the busy needle, or applies 
 
 The scissors to the torn or thread-bare sleeves, 
 
 Wha blesses God that she has friends and home : 
 
304 THE HABITS. 
 
 Who in the peUing of the storm will think 
 Of some poor neighbor tliai she can befriend; 
 Wl^.o trims the lamp at niijhf, and reads aloud 
 To a young brother, talcs he loves lo hear ; 
 Such are not sad even on a rainy day." 
 
 Economy is another liabii that young ladies 
 should cultivate. Although you may not realize 
 the importance of this habit so sensibly in your 
 present condition, yet ere long you may be in 
 circumstances where it will be highly necessary. 
 In the marriage stale, the success and prosperity 
 of the husband, depend, in no small degree, upon 
 the economy of the wife. If she is prudent and 
 economical — if she indulges in no unnecessary 
 display and expense — their united efforts can 
 hardly fail of acquiring a competency, if not a 
 fortune. But if she is careless and indifferent — 
 if she squanders in useless finery and costly ar- 
 ray, the fruits of her husband's exertions — his 
 efforts will be in vain— his energies will be par- 
 alyzed—and disappointment and poverty will al- 
 most certainly he the fruit of her foolish blind- 
 ness. How many families have been reduced 
 from affluence to the depths of poverty, entirely- 
 through lack of economy in the wife ! 
 
 Economy, in a great degree, is a habit ; and 
 like other habits, it must be acquired. It is there- 
 fore necessary, highly so, that ladies should ac- 
 quire this habit while young, if they would reap 
 its benefits in after life. You should study econ- 
 omy in all your expenditures, however trifling, 
 and in all your domestic affairs. You will thus 
 
THE HABITS. 305 
 
 readily acquire a habit which will recommend 
 you to the prudent and worthy, and which can not 
 fail of enhancing your future prosperity. But the 
 female spendthrift is as odious as the male. She 
 is acquiring habits which will cause the discreet 
 to avoid any connection with her, and the fruits 
 01 which may be poverty, want, and distress. ' 
 
 It is hardly necessary to say, that habits of 
 neatness are indispensable to the young lady. It 
 is impossible to describe the disagreeable appear- 
 ance of a slovenly woman ! Even high virtues 
 can not prevent that nauseating disgust, which a 
 want of neatness invariably creates. Every young 
 lady should cultivate a habit of neatness in her 
 appearance. You can not be too particular ih 
 this respect. In every proper condition and occu- 
 pation, you can present a neatness highly com- 
 mendable and attractive. If you would not drive 
 from your presence, with no strong desire to re- 
 turn, those whose esteem you desire to secure, 
 avoid carefully all approach to slovenliness — it 
 dims all other qualification^. 
 
 Gossiping is a habit to be avoided. This is 
 said to be peculiarly a defect of females. I am 
 not prepared to subscribe fully to this sentiment. 
 While I have known many women who are not 
 addicted to this practice, I have at the same time 
 been acquainted with numbers of the other sex, 
 to whom ii might justly be charged. If women 
 exhibit a disposition to converse upon trifling 
 matters, and in disparagement of others, to a 
 26* 
 
306 THE HABITS. 
 
 greater degree than men, it should be attributed 
 ratlier to a volatile disposition and their peculiar 
 condition in society, than to a defect in sense, or 
 to a fault-finding propensity. This defect, how- 
 ever, it must be acknowledged, is often carried to 
 extremes in females. There are those who seem 
 especially to deligjjt in conveying frivolous re- 
 ports throughout the neighborhood, and in con- 
 versing with great earnestness in regard to them; 
 and they are particularly cautious that the sub- 
 jects of their communications shall not lack for 
 embellishments, while in their hands. Such peo- 
 ple are not generally notorious for exercising much 
 care in selecting their topics, or in ascertaining 
 the truth of the reports which are injurious to 
 those to whom they relate. To talk, seems to be 
 their great desire; and it matters little to them, 
 %vhat the subject is, so long as they find food for 
 their volubility. Steele, the old English writer, 
 remarks : " The truth is, the inquisitive [and the 
 same may be said of gossipers] are the funnels 
 of conversation ; they do not lake in any thing 
 for their own use, but merely to pass it to another : 
 they are the channels through which all the good 
 and evil that is spoken in town, are conveyed." 
 
 This unfortunate practice of gossiping, is, tea 
 great degree, a habit, and like other habits, is ac- 
 quired ; and when once it is fastened upon you, 
 it will be difficult to divest yourself of its influ- 
 ence. Young ladies should endeavor to rise 
 above this low and puerile practice, and should 
 
THE HABITS. 30f 
 
 exert themselves to avoid it entirely. There are 
 a few suggestions which, if properly adhered to, 
 will have a tendency to preserve you from its de- 
 grading power. In the first place, be not too in- 
 quisitive in regard to the affairs of your neigh- 
 bors, or those with whom yoii mingle. " Mind 
 your own business," is a motto worthy of being 
 engraved upon the door of every dwelling. Be 
 attentive to your own affairs, and never allow idle 
 curiosity to urge you to mtermeddle with that in 
 which you are not directly interested. The old 
 maxim is eminently true— "Let every individual 
 sweep before their own door, and there will be a 
 clean street." In the next place, never attribute 
 a wrong act to any individual, withotit the most 
 ample proof that the implicated is guilty. Sur- 
 mises are no proper foundation for evil reports 
 against your neighbor ; and you should never 
 give publicity to rumors founded solely upon the 
 "guess-work" of some evil-minded busy-body. 
 When you are fully satisfied that yotir neighbor 
 has been guilty of misconduct, consider, before 
 you retail it to the world, whether any benefit can 
 accrue in pursuing this course, either to yourself 
 to the community at large, or to the individual 
 guilty. If good can not in this manner be made 
 to flow to either party, then remain silent ; for no 
 principle would justify you, under these circum- 
 stances, in spreading the faults of your fellow-be- 
 ings before a gainsaying world ! And, lastly, 
 when you do feel called upon to speak of their 
 
308 THE HABtTfi. 
 
 aberrations, be extremely cautious that you do 
 not amplify and enlarge them. Speak the sim- 
 ple truth, and " nought extenuate, and nought set 
 down in malice." 
 
 Guard against indulging in anger. A peevish 
 disposition is exceedingly unpleasant in ladies. 
 It is undoubtedly true, that some are constitution- 
 ally more irritable than others; yet the visible 
 outbreakings of anger depend much upon habit. 
 If you allow every trifling circumstance that does 
 not coincide with your wishes, to irritate you into 
 ill temper, you will not only be irascible for the 
 moment, but in this manner a confirmed habit ot 
 peevishness will grow upon you, which you will 
 find it difficult to control, even in circumstances 
 where it would be extremely desirable to do so. 
 I need only invite the young lady to contemplate 
 her countenance in the mirror, when she is in an- 
 ger, or indulges in sour, morose feelings, to satis- 
 fy her how much to her disadvantage are these 
 emotions, in addition to the actual pain which they 
 invariably bring upon her. To avoid a habit of 
 petulance, you should school your feelings into 
 self-control, and not allow small disappointments 
 to destroy the equilibrium of your mind. Culti- 
 vate social, benevolent, and friendly feelings, and 
 a forgiving spirit. While these emotions pervade 
 and control the mind, peevishness, ill temper, and 
 moroseness, with all their unhappy effects, will 
 be entirely banished. 
 
 Finally, watch closely the habits that are set- 
 
THE HABllS. 309 
 
 tlmg upon you. Allow and cultivate none that 
 will not have an influence to make you virtuous, 
 amiable, respected, and useful to yourself and to 
 your fellow-beings. Whatever exercises a con- 
 trary tendency, should be avoided as subversive 
 of your character and happiness. 
 
CHAPTER VI. 
 
 DOMESTIC DUTIES. 
 
 Home is woman's proper sphere and empirr. 
 It is the scene for the display of her excellences 
 and her worthiness. Does woman desire to be 
 useful ? — where can she be more useful than at 
 home ? Would she be respected ? — how more so, 
 than in faithfully discharging her domestic du- 
 ties ? Would she display her accomplishments, 
 and substantiate her claims upon the confidence 
 and affection of man? — in what sphere can she 
 more perfectly reveal her valuable characteristics, 
 than at home ? Would she be happy ? — where 
 can she seek the pure happiness of the heart, if it 
 is not to be found at home? Home is the foun- 
 tain of woman's enjoyments, and the common 
 centre around which should cluster her sweetest 
 hopes and anticipations! There she can sliine 
 and excel — there she can instruct and purify those 
 who are within the sphere of her influence. 
 When woman neglects home, under the prompt- 
 ings of ambition, to mingle, and shine, and excel, 
 
 310 
 
DOxMESTIC DUTIES. 311 
 
 in oiher scenes and in other pursuits, she launch- 
 es her frail bark upon a tempestuous ocean, where 
 the dangers of shipwreck and ruin are scattered 
 around on every hand. 
 
 Home being the natural and proper field of 
 woman's duties, how important, how necessary, 
 that she should become acquainted, to a good de- 
 gree, with the character and demands of these 
 duties. Under the sanctions of the marriage 
 covenant, home is the scene over which most of 
 the young ladies whom I address, will ere long 
 be called to preside. This change in your cir- 
 cumstances, you have undoubtedly anticipated. 
 But have you reflected deeply and seriously upon 
 its nature ? — have you meditated upon the varied 
 responsibilities which will rest upon you, in di- 
 recting the internal interests of the family circle? 
 It is to be feared, that too many expecting soon 
 to become Avives, are sadly deficient in a knowl- 
 edge of those home duties, upon a faithful dis- 
 charge of which depend, in so great a degree, the 
 enjoyments of the domestic fireside. They can 
 twang a guitar, drum upon a piano, and glide 
 with gracelulness through the mazes of the giddy 
 waltz — but of what avail are these accomplish- 
 ments, in discharging those important trusts 
 which devolve upon the mistress of the house- 
 hold, the wife and the mother? 
 
 " There are in the United States, one hundred 
 thousand young ladies, as Sir Ralph Abercrom- 
 bie said of those of Scotland, ' the prettiest laS' 
 
312 DOMESTIC DUTIES. 
 
 aies in a' the world,' who neither know how to 
 toil nor spin, who are yet clothed like the lilies of 
 the valley — who thrum the j)iano, and a [e\v of the 
 more dainty, the harp — who walk, as the Bible 
 says, sofily, lest brisker movements might snap 
 tapes drawn to their utmost tension — who have 
 eSd romances, and some of them seen the in- 
 terior of theatres — who have been admired at 
 the examination of their high schools — who have 
 wrought algebraic solutions on the black-board — 
 who ha\e shown themselves no mean proficients 
 in the casuistry of Paley — who are, in short, the 
 very roses of the garden, the altar of life — who 
 yet, hoyresco referens^ can never expect to be 
 married j or, if married, can not expect to live 
 without — shall I speak, or forbear? — putting their 
 own lily hands to domestic drudgery ! We go 
 into the interior villages of our recent wooden 
 country. The fair one sits down to clink the 
 wires of the piano. We see the fingers display- 
 ed on the keys, which, we are sure, never pre- 
 pared a dinner, or made a garment for their ro- 
 bustious brothers We need not enter in person. 
 
 Imagination sees the fair, erect on her music 
 stool, laced, and pinioned, and bishop-sleeved 
 and deformed with hair torn from others' scalps 
 and reduced to a questionable class of entomolo- 
 gy, secundo more, dinging, as Sawney would 
 say, at the wires, as though she could, in some 
 way, hammer out of them music, amusement, 
 and a husband. Look at her taper and cr«am« 
 
DOMESTIC DUTIES. 313 
 
 colored fingers. Is she a utilitarian ? Ask the 
 fair one, when she has heaten all the music out 
 of the keys, ' Pretty fair one, canst talk to thy 
 old and sick father, so as to beguile him out of 
 the headache and rheumatism? Canst write a 
 good and straight-forward letter of business? 
 Thou wast a chemist, I remember, at the exami- 
 nation — canst compound, prepare, and afterward 
 boil or bake a good pudding 1 Canst make one 
 of the hundred subordinate ornaments of thy 
 fair person ? In short, tell us thy use in exist- 
 ence, except to be contemplated as a pretty pic- 
 ture.' And how long will any one be amused 
 with the view of a picture, after having surveyed 
 it a dozen times, unless it have a mind, a heart, 
 and we may emphatically add, the perennial value 
 of utility? I have no conception of a beauti- 
 ful woman, or a fine man, in whose eye, in whose 
 port, in whose whole expression, this sentiment 
 does not stand embodied — ' I am called by my 
 Creator to duties. I have employment on earth. 
 My sterner but more enduring pleasures, are in 
 discharging my duties.' Compare the sedate 
 expression of this sentiment in the countenance 
 of man or woman, when it is known to stand as 
 the index of character, and the fact, with the mere- 
 tricious gaudiness of a simple, good-for-nothing 
 belle, who disdains usefulness and employment — 
 whose empire is a ball-room, and whose subjects, 
 dandies as silly and as useless as herself. Who 
 of the two, has most attractions for a man of 
 ' 27 
 
314 DOM£e)TlC DUTIES. 
 
 sense? Parents of thought, and viriue, and 
 
 example, are called upon to look to this evil. 
 Instead of training your sons to waste their 
 time as idle young gentlemen at large — instead 
 of inculcating on your daughters, that the in- 
 cessant tinkling of a harpsichord, or a scornful 
 and lady-like loss of the head, or dexterity ia 
 v/altzing, are the chief requisites to make their 
 way in life; if you can find no better employ- 
 ment for the one, teach him the use of the grub- 
 bing-hoe, and learn the other to make up gar- 
 ments for your servants."* 
 
 This language is deserving of great weight. 
 The enjoyment and prosperity of woman, and 
 those connected M'ith her, depend much more 
 upon her skill in domestic affairs, than many 
 young ladies seem to imagine. And young men 
 of sense and discretion view this qualification 
 as by no means a trifling one. They will take 
 measures to ascertain the amount of domestic 
 knowledge possessed by ladies, before they choose 
 them for wives. They will not select a " paint- 
 ed butterfly, fit only for the sunny days of pros- 
 perity," who fade into ill-tempered termagants 
 when adversities come, and are unprepared for 
 any of the useful duties of life. But more wise- 
 ly, they will choose her who will become a 
 help-mate indeed — one who can smile in ad- 
 versity as well as in prosperity — one who can 
 
 ♦ Western Monthly Review. 
 
DOxMESTIC DUTIES. 315 
 
 co-operate in retaining what is already possessed, 
 or if misfortune overtake, who can assist in re- 
 gaining what has been lost. The young man 
 who possesses the characteristics that are calcu- 
 lated to make the woman of his choice happy 
 through life, so far from being captivated, is dis- 
 gusted by those ladies who are 
 
 " Bred only and completed to the taste % 
 
 Of fretful appetence— to sing — to dance — 
 
 To dress, and to troll the tongue, and roll the eye — 
 
 Yet empty of all good wherein consists 
 
 Woman's domestic honor and chief grace." 
 
 It requires but a slight glance into the affairs 
 of community, to discover instances where the 
 ignorance of the wife in domestic duties, has 
 been one fruitful cause of involving the husband 
 in bankruptcy. " A gay young person of nine- 
 teen, who had married a respectable tradesman, 
 soon after she left a boarding-school, had a young 
 friend in similar circumstances, who was la- 
 menting their mutual ignorance, and expressing 
 her fears that they should be unable, little as 
 they knew of domestic management, to acquit 
 themselves well in their new situations. 'Dear 
 me,' was the reply, 'I do not trouble my head 
 about that; the maids will do these things.' It 
 is almost superfluous to record the sequel. Her 
 husband was a bankrupt in two years I So 
 well had the maids managed for her !" How 
 many cases of this description are constantly 
 occurring! 
 
316 D0ME8TIU ULTIES. 
 
 Young ladies can not expect to be placed in 
 any circumstances in this republic, which will 
 justify them in remaining in ignorance of do* 
 meslic duties. Suppose you are wealthy, and 
 are confident you will continue so in the mar- 
 riage state, still it is very important that you 
 should be well skilled in domestic affairs. With- 
 out this knowledge, how entirely incompetent are 
 you to preside over the affairs of a household. 
 The impositions, inconveniences, and vexatious, 
 under which you would labor, on account of your 
 ignorance, can easily be conceived. I do not 
 pretend that every wife should herself engage in 
 all the household transactions; although indus- 
 trious exercise in domestic occupations, can not 
 fail to benefit the health. The amount and 
 character of her labors should be in accordance 
 with her condition and tastes. But I insist that 
 every wife, however aflSuent her circumstances, 
 should be well versed in domestic duties — sliould 
 know how they ought to be discharged! In 
 every household there must be some head, to 
 direct its expenses and superintend the whole 
 economy of its domestic transactions. If the 
 wife is capable of this station, and if she is 
 sufficiently interested in the affairs of her hus- 
 band, to be zealous in the discharge of its du- 
 ties, every thing will be conductea in a proper 
 manner. She will see that there is no extrava- 
 gance, no unnecessary waste, and that every 
 thing is done in the proper time and manner. 
 
DOMESTIC DUTIES. 317 
 
 And her reward for this devotion to the interests 
 of her family, will be, not only a saving in a 
 pecuniary point of view, but a comfort, a satis- 
 faction, an enjoyment, that can not be obtained 
 in any other manner. But if the mistress of the 
 household is ignorant of domestic affairs, or in- 
 different in regard to the manner in which they 
 are discharged by others, she must trust all to 
 domestics, who have no interest at stake. And 
 when domestics perceive that the mistress is ig- 
 norant or regardless of the internal interests of 
 the family, and that they are left to their own 
 management, they are exceedingly liable to re- 
 lapse into wasteful and indolent habits, and 
 order, economy, neatness, and comfort, will flee 
 the devoted dwelling, to make room for confu- 
 sion, prodigality, sloth, bankruptcy, and wretch- 
 edness. 
 
 These remarks have been made upon the sup- 
 position that you will be surrounded by the ad- 
 vantages of a fortune. But are you quite sure 
 that you will marry wealthy ? Or. if so, are you 
 fully assured that you will continue in affluent 
 circumstances through life ? The former may be 
 considered doubtful, and the latter is doubly un- 
 certain. How many who have entered the mar- 
 riage state with fair prospects of continued 
 wealth and prosperity, have in a few years, and 
 even in a few months, been reduced to poverty 
 and want ! Were this to be your fate — and it is 
 quite probable it will be experienced by some who 
 27* 
 
318 BOMESTIC DDTIES. 
 
 peruse these lines — how much your misfortune 
 would be increased by an ignorance of domestic 
 duties. The comfort of your husbauJ and family 
 depending, in a great degree, upon your domestic 
 exertions, and yet you entirely incapable of 
 performing even the most common and necessary 
 operations I The husband would soon learn with 
 sorrow, that although in affluence you might have 
 been an agreeable companion, yet in adversity, 
 when it became necessary for you to discharge 
 the real duties of a wife and mother, you are 
 most wretchedly deficient and useless. 
 
 It can not be necessary to urge this subject to 
 a greater extent. Every young lady possessing 
 a moiety of discernment, must perceive the pro- 
 priety of qualifying herself to discharge, faithfully 
 and efficiently, all the duties that will hereafter 
 devolve upon her. Domestic economy is as 
 strictly a branch of female education, as any other 
 study, and the best method of acquiring knowl- 
 edge upon this subject, is by actual experience! 
 You may become familiar with the theory of 
 housewifery, but without practice, it will be of 
 little avail. "When you actually put your hand 
 to the work, you will begin to learn ; but unless 
 you put your hand to it frequently, and learn to 
 think it no dishonor to engage in any thing ap- 
 pertaining to the economy of a family, you can 
 never expect to become an accomplished house- 
 keeper." Parents should be peculiarly attentive 
 to this subject. The mother very much mistakes 
 
DOMESTIC DUTIES. 319 
 
 the interest of her daughters — yea, she sins against 
 that interest, and violates the maternal obliga- 
 tions — in allowing them to remain in ignorance 
 of domestic duties. She should see that they are 
 well skilled and perfected in these matters—for 
 until they are so, they are unprepared for the 
 matrimonial state. She should cause her daugh- 
 ters to become acquainted with the kitchen and 
 its affairs. The kitchen can be made as respec- 
 table as the parlor, and much more useful. The 
 hum of domestic industry, is a music as proper 
 to he made by young ladies, as that from the 
 piano — and it is far more valuable and health- 
 ful. I can not conceive why it is not as proper, 
 as respectable, as genteel, for the daughter to 
 engage habitually and industriously in the do- 
 mestic affairs of the household, as for the son to 
 enter the mechanic's shop, or tend behind the 
 counter, or engage in the study of law, medicine, 
 or divinity. Each are but preparing themselves 
 for the discharge of those duties which, in after 
 life, will devolve upon them. And the pa- 
 rents who neglect to qualify their daughters for 
 those affairs in which they must hereafter en- 
 gage or superintend, are as deficient in duty 
 as those who fail to give their sons useful occu- 
 pations. 
 
 Let it, then, be your aim, young ladies, to be- 
 come proficient and expert, by practice, in all the 
 domestic duties of a household. You will thus 
 profitably employ your minds, minister to the 
 
320 DOMESTIC DUTIES. 
 
 health of your bodies, and become compelent of 
 making yourselves useful, as well as agreeable, 
 to those with whom you may hereafter be coa- 
 nected. 
 
CHAPTER VII 
 
 It would appear from the admonitions of the 
 Apostles Paul and Peter,* that the ladies, in 
 their day, were in the habit of arraying and orna- 
 menting their persons, in a manner which these 
 teachers deemed rather indecorous. As the pre- 
 cautions of the apostles, upon this subject, were 
 not extended to men, it is supposed that females 
 in ancient times, were more given to excess in 
 dress, than the other sex. And it is sometimes 
 thought that these distinctive characteristics of 
 the sexes, continue to the present day. Without 
 pretending to decide upon this point, I must be 
 permitted to say, that the time, attention, and ex- 
 pense, bestowed on dress, by many females, 
 give no inconsiderable strength to the above 
 supposition. But allowing it to be true, that fe- 
 males are more inclined to excess in dress than 
 men, the cause I suppose to exist, not so much ia 
 
 * I Tijii. ii. 9, 1 Pet. iii. 3, 4. 
 
 321 
 
322 DRESS. 
 
 any greater degree of inherent vanity or love of 
 display, as in the disparity in their condition and 
 occupations. Men are engaged, the greater pro- 
 portion of the time, in the business transactions, 
 the stirring scenes of public life; and their minds 
 being thus absorbed, are not so liable to give 
 much importance to the trivial subject of dress. 
 But females, being debarred, to a great extent, 
 by the usages of society, from participating in 
 those busy affairs that are of a public character, 
 are thrown upon the immediate resources of the 
 imagination, to supply this deficiency. And, 
 moreover, believing their prosperity depends 
 much upon their exterior appearance, they have 
 been compelled, as it were, to allow dress to 
 form an important item in their occupation and 
 their thoughts. 
 
 That due attention should be given to dress by 
 females, and that, in this manner, by a judicious 
 display of correct taste, they can improve their 
 appearance and personal attractions, are indispu- 
 tably true. But ladies should know, if they are 
 not already aware of it, that there is such a thing 
 as intemperance in dress! — that, like every other 
 blessing of Providence, when dress is indulged in 
 to excess, when the love of it degenerates into a 
 passion, it becomes an evil, entailing misfortune 
 and wretchedness. Excess is intemperance. And 
 that ladies sometimes dress to excess, can not be 
 doubted by those who are blessed with sight. 
 
 Many evils arise from an excessive love of 
 
DRESS. \J 323 
 
 dress. It absorbs the mind lo the neglect of use- 
 ful avocations. Young ladies would do well to 
 remember that lliey were not created solely to 
 dress and adorn their persons. There are duties, 
 important responsible duties, which will devolve 
 upon them in the several stations and relation- 
 ships they will be called to occupy. To be ena- 
 bled to discharge them faithfully, it is necessary 
 that you should bestow much study, reflection, 
 and forethought upon them. But how can this 
 be done, when the attention is wholly absorbed 
 by dress ? The young lady who is wholly in- 
 tent on adorning her person, is very liable to neg- 
 lect the more important work of cultivating the 
 mind. It may be noticed, as a general rule, that 
 such ladies think little, and care less, about men- 
 tal improvement — so that while without, all may 
 be dazzling and perfect, within there is nought 
 but a moral and mental waste, where lurks many 
 an insidious foe to happiness. 
 
 An excessive love for dress, leads to extrava- 
 gance in other respects- The lady who deems it 
 an object of the highest importance to float upon 
 the very crest of the ebbing and flowing tide of 
 fashionable dress, will imagine it essentially ne- 
 cessary that an equal style should be observed in 
 all that pertains to her. If she enters the mar- 
 riage state, houses, and furniture, and equipage, 
 must correspond with dress, and she plunges in- 
 to needless expenditures, which often end in ruin. 
 How many who hav« started in life with the 
 
^i^ DRCfta. 
 
 fairest prospects, have speedily been brought lo 
 bankruptcy and poverty, by an inordinate love ot 
 display. 
 
 An intemperate attachment to dress, is destruc- 
 tive to health, as it invariably leads to a mode of 
 dress, directly at war with the construction and 
 wants of the human body. It is a fact no less ' 
 shocking than true, that thousands of female ia 
 the United States, are annually hurried to an 
 early grave, solely by those torturous improprie- 
 ties in dress, which are dictated by fashion. 
 Every well informed physician will bear witness 
 to the correctness of this declaration. It is truly 
 surprising that young ladies, who possess the or- 
 dinary powers of reflection granted to rational 
 beings, will deliberately persevere, in face of the 
 startling, horrid array of facts before them, and 
 contrary to the admonitions of the enlightened, 
 the wise, and the prudent, in dressing in such a 
 manner as to undermine the most vigorous con- 
 stitutions, induce painful diseases, and hasten 
 premature death ! There is an infatuation in re- 
 gard to this evil, that is wholly unaccountable.* 
 if young ladies will not listen lo the advice of 
 friends, or the warning of physicians, I beg them 
 to open an ear to that sepulchral voice which 
 comes up from myriads of " the early dead," who 
 have been consigned to the cold grave, by their 
 miserable slavery to the cruelties of fashion I 
 
 * The reader can not mistake the evil to which I refer, 
 viz., tight lacing. 
 
DRESS. 325 
 
 The weekly bills of mortality throughout our 
 country, display a record of the dissolution of 
 multitudes of young and lovely beings, from dis- 
 eases induced by improper dress, that shoulJ, 
 strike terror to those whose practice is bringing 
 them to the same fate. It is melancholy to re- 
 flect how many who peruse these lines, will con- 
 tinue, for the sake of dressing themselves in con- 
 formity to the arbitrary laws of fashion, to brave 
 the frightful catalogue of diseases, until death 
 stares them in the face, and opens his icy arms to 
 receive them in his embrace ! Allow me to ask 
 the young lady whose eye is now resting here — 
 are you one of this number? I trust not. It 
 would be too much like arraying yourself in bri- 
 dal robes to go down to the company of the dead ! 
 If you must injure your health — if you must bring 
 on death in the prime of life, I pray you do it in 
 some good, cause — in the cause of love, humanity, 
 and duty — in a cause upon which you can look 
 back with satisfaction, even in the struggles of 
 death. Be entreated not to court the embraces 
 of the " king of terrors," by a course so nearly- 
 suicidal as that which I am condemning ! Do I 
 magnify the danger ? Ask your physician — ask 
 the learned physiologist — ask the dying — ask the 
 dead ! 
 
 Not the least surprising thing in relation to 
 
 this evil, is, that so many parents should look 
 
 calmly on and behold their daughters committing^ 
 
 this self-murder, without taking any decisive 
 
 28 
 
326 DR£S9. 
 
 measures to prevent it — yea, peihaps approving 
 of it. Mothers often exhibit an ignorance, a care- 
 lessness, a fatuity, in this respect, that excites 
 the astonishment and sorrow of the reflecting. 
 They have a duty to discharge, regarding the 
 dress of their daughter?, which they can not neg- 
 lect without incurring deep guilt. How nnaay^ 
 mothers, when it is too late, when insidious dis- 
 ease is laying its palsying hand upon the life- 
 springs of beloved daughters, would sacrifice the 
 wealth of the Indies, could they but recall them 
 to the days of childhood, and restore that health 
 which has been destroyed by their infatuated 
 blindness! 
 
 An inordinate love of dress involves its vic- 
 tims in a servile bondage to the caprice of others. 
 For whom do they dress? — for whom do they 
 expend time and money, and invite the approach 
 of poverty and disease? Not for themselves, 
 surely — for when they are in retirement, all finery 
 is laid aside.* No — they dress for others alone — 
 for the public gaze — for the eyes of the multitude. 
 They appear to feel bound by the most imperious 
 necessity, to sacrifice ease and comfort, and exert 
 
 ♦ It would be well for young men to know, that not a 
 few of those ladies who run to the greatest excess in their 
 dress for public show, are the most slatternly and careless 
 when in seclusion. To test the correctness of this re- 
 mark, call upon them in some hour when they do not 
 expect company, and a moment's contemplation will 
 show, that display, and not neatness, is their ruling pas- 
 ■ion. 
 
DRESS. 327 
 
 all their art to attract the attention of the throng. 
 And in the fulfilment of this supposed obligation, 
 they will exhibit an assiduity, a perseverance, 
 which is unfortunately wanting in the discharge 
 of all the worthy and useful duties of life ! Is not 
 this a slate of dishonorable slavery to the whims 
 of the thoughtless 1 There is an anecdote so ap- 
 propriate to this point, that I can not forbear rela- 
 ting it. " A priest of China sedulously followed 
 a splendidly dressed mandarin through the streets, 
 bowing and thanking him for his kindness. En- 
 raged at his pertinacity, the mandarin demanded 
 what he meant* ' To thank you for the use of 
 your rich dress and jewels,' was the calm reply. 
 * Why,' said the astonished mandarin, ' 1 never 
 loaned them to you.' ' No,' said the priest, ' but 
 you have allowed me to look at them, which is 
 all the enjoyment you can derive from them, ex- 
 cept, perhaps, the pleasure of taking care of them, 
 and that is a pleasure I do not covet.'" 
 
 " But should we not follow the fashions of the 
 day," exclaims the fair reader. Most certainly, 
 so far as those fashions comport with good taste, 
 modesty, economy, and health. But when they 
 violate either of these requisites to female attrac- 
 tions and usefulness, they should be rejected as 
 decidedly as other practices of an immoral and 
 unhealthful character ! What is fashion in dress, 
 and whence does it emanate ? It is the vitiated 
 taste of a few of the unprincipled dress-makers 
 in France, who give it all its fluctuations and ex- 
 
travagance, solely to fill their coffers. Are Amer- 
 ican ladies generally aware, that in this respect 
 they have, to a great extent, become the dupes of 
 Parisian dress-makers and milliners? The prints 
 and patterns which they despatch to this country, 
 are not copied from the dress of ladies of high 
 standing and good taste. They are devised by 
 French mantua-n\akers, and sent to America for 
 the purpose of keeping open here a market for 
 their second-hand laces and cast-off tawdry. — 
 These assertions are perfectly well founded. 
 Mrs. Willard, a celebrated American lady, who 
 travelled a few years since in France, describing 
 in her Foreign Journal, a well dressed French 
 woman, who was ridiculing the "prints" prepared 
 to be sent to this country, exclaims, " A thought 
 struck me at that moment, which made me half 
 weep. These figures, said I to myself, thus ridi- 
 culed by those who understand dress in perfec- 
 tion — by which the very milliners of Paris, who 
 send them abroad, would not, for the sake of good 
 taste, (modesty out of the question,) dress them- 
 selves — these are the very patterns by v/hich ray 
 young and lovely countrywomen are making 
 themselves up — the idols to which they some- 
 times sacrifice decency and propriety !" It is 
 earnestly hoped that this deeply humiliating 
 statement will have an influence to dampen the 
 ardor of many of our ladies, in servilely imitating 
 those foreign prints, with which our fashionable 
 emnoriums abound. 
 
0RE9S. 329 
 
 Could those youug ladies who imitate every 
 extravagance in fashion, but be aware how ridic- 
 ulous and repulsive they frequently make them- 
 selves appear to the eyes of those persons whose 
 regard they would win, how differently would 
 they conduct. 
 
 "O wad some power the giftie gie us, 
 To see oursels as others see us, 
 It wad frae monie a blunder free u-s, 
 And foolish notion." 
 
 The most abandoned of the female sex, can and 
 do flaunt in attire as gay and fashionable, as the 
 respectable. Hence, young ladies can not be too 
 often reminded, that dress is a worthless founda- 
 tion upon which to base their claims to the re- 
 spect and affection of gentlemen. Who, in these 
 days, ever thinks of judging of the character of a 
 lady by the fashion of her habiliment ? It would 
 be as uncertain a criterion as the color of her eye, 
 or the height of her stature. By this criterion, the 
 virtuous and the vicious can not be distinguished; 
 and if there Avas no other badge of excellence, all 
 would be upon the same level ! Discreet and 
 sensible young men never fall in love with dress 
 — it has little or no influence in guiding their 
 affections.^ They do not look to the outward at- 
 tire — which alike covers the good and the evil — 
 to discover the excellences of a lady, but to the 
 intrinsic moral and intellectual worth of the 
 wearer. A well cultivated mind, a sweet, gentle 
 disposition, with a plain, simple garb, possess far 
 28-^ 
 
390 DUKSS. 
 
 more powerful altraclions, ilial an ignorant mind 
 and a perverse disposition, arrayed in all the 
 finery that ever was invented by that most fertile 
 in expedients of all human soils, the imagination 
 of a dress-maker. Never, llierefore, dress with 
 the expectation of being esteemed by community, 
 or loved by any, or account of the texture, shape, 
 color, or expense of your attire. All anticipations 
 of this character, can be entertained but to end in 
 disappointment and chagrin. 
 
 I would, by no means, influence young ladies 
 to be negligent or indifferent in regard to dress. 
 I would have them bestow upon it all the atten- 
 tion it properly deserves. It is the excess, the 
 intemperance in dress, and a servile bondage to 
 the caprices of fashion, against which I would 
 caution you. And I again warn you that you can 
 not be too particular in so dressing as not to in- 
 jure health. You should remember that you 
 have lungs, and that to insure health, the chest 
 must be permitted to expand without opposition, 
 that the lungs may have free and full play. If 
 you dress in such manner as to prevent the ex- 
 pansion of the chest and the full inflation of the 
 lungs, unavoidable disease ensues, and early death 
 follows. Mothers should understand these facts, 
 and should bear them in mind when superintend- 
 ing the attire of their daughters. 
 
 Let your dress always comport with neatness, 
 propriety, and economy. Never swerve from the 
 dictates of these standards. Neatness will pre- 
 
UKKSS. 331 
 
 vent you from arraying yourself in gewgaws and 
 tinsel, and running after all the absurdities of 
 fashion, and will dictate an adaptation of dress to 
 your form, complexion, age, and circumstances. 
 It will allow of no extremes, either in extrava- 
 gance or oddity. It will leach those who are 
 fair, that " beauty unadorned, is adorned the 
 most," and those v/ho are plain, that simplicity 
 Avill add far more to their attractions, than gaudy 
 trappings. Dr. Johnson once remarked, that a 
 certain lady was dressed the best of any he had 
 ever seen j for but a moment after having con- 
 versed with her, he could not recollect what she 
 had on. That is she had nothing odd, vain, or 
 unbecoming in her attire. Propriety will forbid 
 dressing in any manner that will violate that 
 modesty which is the charm of your sex, or fol- 
 lowing any fashion that will undermine your 
 constitution, or in the least degree injure your 
 health. Economy will dictate the necessity of 
 always dressing within your means; and it will 
 also show you the impropriety and deep folly of 
 involving yourself, or any with whom you are 
 connected, in debt, to array your body in useless 
 and silly finery 1 
 
CHAPTER Vin. 
 
 RECREATIONS. 
 
 Many of the remarks addressed to young men, 
 in regard to amusements, will also apply to 
 ladies — especially in respect to the excess into 
 which human nature is liable to run. We love 
 whatever is pleasing. This love induces a con- 
 tinuance in those recreations which afford pleas- 
 ure ; and unless reason is allowed to exercise 
 due control, those practices will be persevered in, 
 until they become sources of pain instead of hap- 
 piness. It is highly important that young ladies 
 should possess true views of the nature and de- 
 sign of the recreations proper for them ; as an 
 ignorance or want of precaution on this point, 
 has been a fruitful source of degradation and ruin 
 to countless multitudes of their sex. 
 
 What is recreation ? It is not slumber, or stu- 
 por, or idleness ; but it is simply a change oj 
 employment ! Recreation to the student, is to go 
 out to exercise in the open air. But to the man 
 whose body calls for much bodily exercise, it is 
 
 332 
 
RECREATIONS. 333 
 
 a recreation to enter the student's library and 
 peruse his books. The young lady who engages 
 constantly in needle-work, or any sedentary em- 
 ployment, to find recreation, must enter upon 
 some active occupation ; but she who is habit- 
 ually employed in the stirring duties of domes- 
 tic life, will find equal amusement in occasional- 
 ly plying the industrious needle. The design of 
 recreation is, by a change of posture and employ- 
 ment, to call into exercise portions of the body, 
 and faculties of the mind, that were in repose, 
 and to give rest to those that were active — health 
 and vigor are the fruits of this change. When 
 the brain of the scholar becomes weary, he should 
 relinquish his mental struggle, and call into action 
 the muscular powers of his body. But when the 
 body of the laborer is exhausted with toil, he 
 should rest from his toil, and call his mental fac- 
 ulties into labor, by reading or instructive conver- 
 sation. Both will experience enjoyment, and be 
 benefited by the change. But mark and remem- 
 ber, it is the change only that causes the enjoy- 
 ment. When recreation of any character, is con- 
 inued beyond a certain degree or duration, plain- 
 y indicated by reason, its nature changes, and it 
 becomes a labor, instead of an amusement. This 
 IS a plain hint from nature, that all recreations in 
 order to be valuable and beneficial, must be en- 
 gaged in moderately and temperately. And I 
 will here repeat, that to enjoy any amusement, 
 young people must lyrepare themselves for it, by 
 
334 RECREATIONS. 
 
 previous industry and deprivation, of a character 
 different from the recreation to be engaged in. 
 
 From these remarks, it will be perceived that 
 the gratification of the passions, is not the entire 
 design and end of recreation. The healthy state 
 both of body and mind, depends upon proper re- 
 laxations and changes. Nature is rigid in her 
 exactions in this respect ; and whoever violates 
 them, must suffer that penalty of pain and disease 
 which she affixes. Moderate and judicious rec- 
 reation, therefore, is not only proper, but is a duty 
 which must be discharged, to insure health. Bu^ 
 still there is danger, in a greater or less degree 
 always attending amusements. It is evident that 
 many practices called recreations, are not such, 
 properly speaking. Some of those practices are 
 plainly sinful, and should, consequently, be strict- 
 ly avoided. Others are wrong, because they pro- 
 duce more injury than benefit — and others still, 
 are dangerous, because although, perhaps, inno- 
 cent in themselves, their tendency is to induce 
 that excess which is evil. Permit me to cite 
 your attention to a few of the most dangerous of 
 those practices to which young ladies frequently 
 resort for recreation. ; 
 
 Dancing is one of the most fascinating amuse- 
 ments of youth. It may be called nature's rec* 
 reation. The various species of beasts in the 
 full tide of their happiness, gambol over the plain, 
 and throw their bodies into fantastic shapes. 
 Dancing is a recreation resorted to by all nations- 
 
RECREATIONS. 335 
 
 From the most polished circles of civilization, 
 down to the wigwam of the savage, it exerts its 
 " witching sway." In ancient days, and still 
 among various nations of modern ages, dancing 
 was, and is, one of the amusements, in times of 
 exultation and rejoicing. The Saviour mentions, 
 that when the prodigal son returned, there was 
 music and dancing. National dances were for- 
 merly engaged in, when celebrating important 
 victories. When the Israelites had crossed the 
 Red Sea in safety, we read that " Miriam the 
 prophetess, the sister of Aaron, took a timbrel in 
 her hand ; and all the women went out after her, 
 with timbrels and dances." When Saul and 
 David were returning from the slaughter of the 
 Philistines, " the women came out of all the 
 cities of Israel, singing and dancmg, to meet 
 King Saul, with tabrets, with joy, and with in- 
 struments of music." Dancing was also a re- 
 ligious ceremony of rejoicing. When the Ark 
 of the Lord was brought up to Jerusalem, David 
 danced before it as it proceeded " with sound of 
 the cornet, and with trumpets, and with cymbals, 
 making a noise with psalteries and harps." In 
 modern times, a portion of the Eastern Dervish- 
 es, and a sect of Friends, called " Shakers," 
 make dancing a part of their religious exercises. 
 That dancing, when cultivated as an exercise^ 
 is proper and healthful, is undeniable. Such an 
 exercise for females especially, whose habits are 
 usually sedentary, must be of a salutary charac- 
 
336 UECREATI0N3. 
 
 ter. But still, dancing has become the source of 
 great evil. As it is conducted in our own times, 
 it usually causes much more injury than benefit. 
 The intoxicating beverage usually drank — the 
 unhealthy viands partaken of— the improper man- 
 ner of dressing, which so confines the lungs, that 
 when they require the most play, they have the 
 least — the late hours, the over fatigue, and the 
 exposure to cold and damp — all combine to make 
 modern dancing assemblies the prolific sources 
 of dissipation and disease. Such convocations 
 should be condemned most decidedly, by all who 
 are interested in the welfare of the young. I 
 would most earnestly caution young ladies against 
 attending them, or giving them their countenance. 
 They are not justified by Scripture, reason, or 
 experience. But dancing in private circles, in 
 the presence of friends and relatives, engaged in 
 temperately, with proper precautions, I consider 
 an appropriate and healthful recreation. It is the 
 abuse of this exercise, against which I would 
 warn you. The good sense of every discreet 
 young lady, aided by the advice of parents or 
 guardians, will instruct her as to the proper time 
 and occasion, when she should engage in this 
 recreation. 
 
 Card-playing is often engaged in by young 
 ladies. Although this practice may not be so 
 deleterious as dancing, under improper circum- 
 stances, still, young women can pass their time 
 in some other manner, far more to their improve- 
 
hECREATIONS. 337 
 
 mcnt, both in mind and manners. A lady at a 
 card-table, always seems out of her proper place. 
 There is something in its associations so mascu- 
 line, so entirely opposed to womanly delicacy 
 and propriety, that a female appears to step down 
 from her appropriate sphere, in engaging in game 
 with cards. 
 
 Referring you for further remarks on this sub- 
 ject, to my suggestions to young men, and also 
 to what I there said on theatrical amusements, 
 I merely add, that those remarks will apply, with 
 more impressive force to the young lady ; inas- 
 much as female character is more delicate m 
 public estimation, and her sensibility more re- 
 fined in fact, than that of the gentleman. I there^ 
 fore reiterate here, with renewed earnestness, all 
 the warnings and remonstrances I have there ut- 
 tered. 
 
 There are many recreations in which young 
 ladies can engage, that are both proper and ben- 
 eficial. All amusements should, if possible, be 
 made inslruciive, as well as healthful. Exercise 
 in open air, when the weather is favorable, is 
 highly beneficial to females. And a walk through 
 the fields, can be made to instruct the mind, as 
 well as to invigorate the body. A slight acquaint- 
 ance with the principles of botany and geolos:y, 
 will enable you to obtain much amusement and 
 instruction, in examining the class and nature of 
 plants and flowers, and the structure and compo- 
 sition of soils, stones, and rocks. The young 
 29 
 
33ft RECREAIIONS. 
 
 ladies of this country, are generally very de- 
 ficient in giving themselves exercise; and in this 
 respect are far behind those of some foreiga 
 countries. " The English girls, it is well known, 
 will walk five or six miles with ease. They are 
 never afraid of the air. They do not reason as 
 our girls do, that to be pretty and "interesting," 
 they must be livid, pale, and consumptive ; and 
 in order to be so, exclude themselves from the 
 open air, from walks and parks. But they reason 
 naturally, that health is beauty, and that sickness 
 is otherwise. English girls, it is said, are almost 
 the only girls who climb up the sides of the Alps, 
 or struggle ankle deep, up the ashes of Mount 
 Vesuvius." " How often," says Miss Wakefield. 
 " has an anxiety for the delicacy of the complex- 
 ion, or the apprehension of her being a romp, re- 
 strained a girl from the indulgence of enjoying 
 with any one, exercise in a sufficient degree to 
 secure her from that feeble, sickly, languid state, 
 which frequently renders her not only capricious, 
 but helpless throughout the whole of her life." 
 "Let the utmost attention be paid to the physical 
 education of females, not simply to their diet, 
 temperance, and cleanliness, but to the practice 
 of bodily exercise. Let them have such physi- 
 cal recreation as shall be consistent with their 
 delicacy of sex, and as shall serve to procure for 
 them vigorous constitutions and sound minds. 
 Strengthen their physical powers, and you may 
 then give energy to their intellects, brilliant tints 
 
RECREATIONS. 339 
 
 of beauty to their persons, animation to their 
 spirits, and grace to their manners."* 
 
 Music is a recreation peculiarly appropriate to 
 young ladies. I would have every young woman 
 cultivate her taste for music. The Creator could 
 have had no object in bestowing musical powers 
 upon uSj but that they should be developed and 
 trained to execution. Music exercises the mind, 
 and has a purifying and softening influence upon 
 the disposition. This amusement, however, 
 should not be permitted to interfere with the 
 more vigorous recreations, or with the ordinary 
 and useful occupations of life. 
 
 Social parties are proper for young ladies. — 
 They bring different minds, dispositions, and 
 manners in contact, to the mutual benefit of all. 
 The time at such parties, should not be frittered 
 away in frivolous pursuits and idle conversation. 
 Useful and interesting topics should be intro- 
 duced, upon which the company can freely and 
 pleasantly interchange their opinions. To in- 
 struct each other in desirable accomplishments 
 and valuable information, should be the general 
 object. 
 
 It is hardly necessary to remark, that young 
 women can find at home, many means of profita- 
 ble recreation. Numberless little attentions and 
 kindnesses to parents and friends — the instruction 
 
 * Address on Female Education, by Rev. Charles Bu? • 
 roughs. 
 
340 RECREATION*. 
 
 and improvemenl of younger brothers and sisters 
 — perusing aloud some valuable publication for 
 the edification of the family circle—all will afford 
 the purest satisfaction and enjoyment. In fine, 
 let your recreations always be characterized by 
 delicacy, discretion, and moderation, and bene- 
 ficial results of a corresponding character, will be 
 your reward. 
 
CHAPTER IX 
 
 MENTAL CULTIVATION, 
 
 That female education iias heretofore been la- 
 mentably deficient, is a position which admits of 
 not a doubt. In past ages woman has been kept 
 in a state of almost entire ignorance, in regard to 
 the most important branches of human attain- 
 ment, and has been compelled, in a measure, to 
 occupy her attention with the trivial matters of 
 life. Without pretending to decide the contro- 
 verted question, whether the gentler sex are capa- 
 ble of rivalling man in the highest walks of lit- 
 erature, still, I do not hesitate to say, that they 
 are capable of making far greater advances in 
 every branch of useful knowledge, than they have 
 hitherto done : and also that they can equal the 
 generality of men in mental attainments, when 
 placed in circumstances equally favorable. In- 
 deed in modern days, many ladies have appeared 
 as shining lights in the literary world. And 
 although th'oy have not so generally grappled with 
 the abstruse sciences, yet in the lighter grades 
 29* ^ 341 
 
342 MENTAL CULTIVATION. 
 
 of literature — in vivid descriptions of tiie gentlest, 
 purest and noblest characteristics of human na- 
 ture — in the bright pictures of the imagination — 
 in chaste displays of taste and sentiment — in re- 
 proof, admonition and advice — ihey have not 
 been surpassed by their male competitors. The 
 names of More, Barbauld, Chapone, Aikin, Ham- 
 ilton, Seward, De Stael, Landon, Porter, Hemans, 
 Edgeworth andMartineau, in foreign lands, and 
 of Sigourney, Leslie, Hale. Sedgwick, Stephens, 
 Hentz, Gould, Ellet, Scott, Dodd, Edgarton, 
 Broughton and Downer in our own country, will 
 bear ample testimony to the high and beautiful 
 capabilities of the female mind. 
 
 Although female education, within the last half 
 century, has been greatly improved, still it has 
 not arrived at the perfection that is desirable. — 
 The poor are engaged in such constant drudgery, 
 that they are able to pay but little attention to 
 mental cultivation, while the wealthy are fre- 
 quently led to neglect it, by attaching an undue 
 importance to showy rather than useful accom- 
 plishments. Young ladies, as a class, are still 
 too prone to attribute more consequence to the 
 adorning of the outward person, than the culti- 
 vation of the moral and intellectual powers — are 
 too liable to imagine that their success in life, 
 depends more upon beauty and accomplishments 
 of person, than of mind. This belief many ac- 
 quire, no doubt, from that fulsome flattery which 
 is loo generally bestowed upon female personal 
 
MENTAL CULTlVAnON. 343 
 
 beauty, by the other sex. So general is this prac- 
 tice, that men of otherwise good sense, will fre- 
 quently lend their aid in perpetuating this idola- 
 try to the fleeting charms of outward beauty, to 
 the neglect of those qualities in woman that are 
 truly valuable. This conduct leads females to 
 overlook their mental capabilities, to deem it of 
 little importance to obtain those qualifications of 
 mind and of habit upon which their happiness 
 and the enjoyments of those connected with 
 them will so deeply depend through life, and 
 induces them to turn their whole attention to 
 those charms and accomplishments, which are 
 as empty and useless as the floating bubble. 
 
 Young ladies should summon sufficient dis- 
 crimination to perceive the origin of this adula- 
 tion. They should understand that those who 
 indulge in extreme flattery of their personal beau- 
 ty, either possess such ignorant and shallow 
 minds, as really to believe what they say, that 
 nothing is so valuable as the charms of form and 
 feature — or, knowing better, they hypocritically 
 express their admiration, under the supposition 
 that you are so vain and weak as to be pleased by 
 their empty homage ! In either case, they im- 
 pugn your good sense, and are unworthy your 
 confidence or respect. The attentions of the ig- 
 norant and of the hypocritical, should alike be 
 discarded. 
 
 I grant that personal beauty in a young lady, 
 is an advantage J and wheii united with a sweet 
 
344 MCNTAI. CULTIVAnON. 
 
 disposition and well culiivaled mind, you have 
 attractions that can not but win esteem. But I 
 insist that loveliness of person without these val- 
 uable qualifications, is a misfortune rather than a 
 blessing. It will surround you by the utmost 
 dangers— by fascinations and allurements, from 
 which, owing to the weakness of your moral and 
 mental powers, you will escape with difficulty, if 
 at all. And suppose that by beauty of person 
 alone, you succeed in obtaining a companion for 
 life : of what value can that man be, who has 
 been attracted by your features of form, without 
 deeming any other qualification worthy a thought ? 
 He connected himself with you for your beauty, 
 and he loves your beauty only. And do you not 
 perceive that when that beauty decays, as it inev- 
 itably must, under the influence of disease or age, 
 his regard will wither with it, and that the after 
 years of your life, must be spent amid vain regrets 
 and unavailing repinings? "We can not help 
 remembering that the ordinary period of life is 
 set at seventy years. The empire of beauty sel- 
 dom lasts more than ten or fifteen. What is to 
 sustain the beauty who has no other possession, 
 in the dreary interval, when her roses have van- 
 ished with her admirers, never to return?" If, 
 then, you have been favored with personal beau 
 ly, add to it virtuous principles and the charms 
 of a well cultivated mind, and you can then 
 duly improve the advantages placed within your 
 reach. 
 
MENTAL CULTIVATION. 345 
 
 "It is an old remark, that the most beautiful 
 women are not always the most fascinating. It 
 may be added, I fear, that they are seldom so. 
 The reason is obvious. They are apt to rely too 
 much on their beauty; or give themselves toa 
 many airs. Mere beauty ever was, and ever will 
 be, a secondary thing, except with fools. The 
 miost fascinating women, generally speaking, are 
 those that possess the finest powers of entertain- 
 ing the mind. In a particular and attaching sense, 
 they are those that can partake of the pleasures 
 and pains of their friends in the liveliest and 
 most devoted manner. Beauty is little without 
 this. With it, she is indeed triumphant."* 
 
 With the most plain and uninteresting features^ 
 you need not be without attractions. A well 
 trained mind and a pleasant disposition, will put 
 forth charms far more captivating to those who 
 are capable of making you happy, and much more 
 enduring than mere outward beauty. Although 
 you may not attract immediate attention in first 
 entering upon the stage of society, yet when 
 your worth is fully appreciated^ as it eventually 
 will be, you will obtain a hold on the affections, 
 that time can not annihilate. You will possess 
 a loveliness which instead of being destroyed by 
 sickness or time, will increase, and become bright- 
 er and brighter as age advances — securing to you, 
 love, affection, peace and enjoyment, all your 
 
 * Critici&m on Female Beauty. 
 
346 MENTAL CULTIVATION, 
 
 days. The man who is won by the attraclionu 
 of your mind and disposition, is worthy of you 
 in every respect, and will be capable of appreci- 
 ating all these excellencies of the heart which 
 confer mutual happiness. " Knowledge, virtue 
 and truth, are immortal. Time, age and death, 
 can not touch them. Trust me, a plain young 
 lady with a sound head and a well trained mind, 
 and an amiable and well managed heart will find 
 some way to aim a sharper and surer shaft, and 
 inflict a more incurable wound, than a mere 
 flourishing belle, who has nothing to show but 
 her dress and her person." 
 
 Beauty of face and person, and splendor of 
 dress, are not to be compared in value to a well 
 cultivated mind. The one is as evanescent as the 
 morning cloud or the early dew; but the other is 
 as enduring as the sparkling gem of the mine. 
 " There is, and there can be, nothing beautiful, 
 except in so far as it is associated with mind. 
 Show me a woman who knows how to converse 
 pleasantly, to give judicious counsel and exhibit 
 discreet management — who has the ability to 
 know what to say, and how to act on any given 
 emergency — who understands how to economize 
 her wit if she has it — who comprehends how the 
 utterance of scandal distorts the countenance — 
 whose passions and affections are regulated, and 
 who possesses the intrinsic tenderness and truth 
 of the female character — and I will show you one 
 who seems beautiful to me whatever face she 
 
MENTAL CULTIVATIOil. 347 
 
 may happen to possess. It can not be repeated 
 too often, that there is nothing truly beautiful 
 hut mind. Ask a father which of his children he 
 loves most, the pert and ignorant beautiful daugh- 
 ter, or the plain but sensible, docile and well in- 
 structed one?" Ask an intelligent, worthy young 
 man, with which of those two young ladies it 
 gives him the greatest satisfaction to associate 
 and converse, the one with handsome form and 
 complexion, but with an empty, uncultivatecJ 
 mind, or her whose personal appearance is plain, 
 but who is well instructed, and sensible? "Ask 
 husbands what points they most regard in their 
 wives, their beauty, or their knowledge, amiabili- 
 ty and good sense? I repeat again, there is 
 nothing beautiful but mind ! If I were a poet, 
 you should have it in metre and in song, that a 
 piony or a poppy is as splendid a flower as the 
 rose. But let the one and the other be worn in 
 your bosom, and compare their fragrance and val- 
 ue at the end of a month. Knowledge compared 
 to beauty, is the rose to the piony and poppy. In 
 the family circle, and among those with whom 
 we mix every day, the last thing of which we 
 think, after seeing them a few times, is their 
 personal beauty." Their worth is always esti- 
 mated by their mental endowments and moral 
 qualities. The witchcraft of personal beauty is 
 soon dispelled by familiarity. Without attrac- 
 tive mental and moral characteristics, it is im- 
 possible to obtain the enduring affections of any. 
 
348 MENTAL CULTIVATION. 
 
 "External allurements are continually losing; in- 
 ternal altra-ctions are continually gaining. Sense, 
 spirit, sweetness, are immortal. All besides, 
 withers like the grass." When the mind is un- 
 cultivated and barren, in vain are displayed the 
 brightest eye, the fairest face, and the sweetest 
 smile. But even though the eye possesses little 
 lustre, or the countenance little beauty, a well 
 endowed, well disciplined mind, will elicit admi- 
 ration and love* 
 
 " Mind, mind alone, bear wihress oartli and heaven, 
 The living foitntain in itself contains 
 Of beauteous and sublime ! Htire hand in hand 
 Sit paramount the graces." 
 
 These remarks might be much extended, but it 
 can not be necessary. I trust enough has been 
 said to awaken you to the importance of studying 
 to adorn the mind, and of imparting to it those 
 mental and moral qualities which are so attrac- 
 tive to the eyes of the discreet and enlightened. 
 You should not allow your thoughts to dwell 
 too much on beauty of person, outward orna- 
 ments, or showy accomplishments. A proper at- 
 tention to these is allowable ; but make them not 
 your principal study — neither rely upon them as 
 your chief attractions to win admiration or affec- 
 tion. Their influence can attract none but weak 
 and worthless minds. " Female loveliness can 
 not be clothed in a more pleasing garb than that 
 of knowledge. A female thus arrayed, is one of 
 the most interesting-objects— every eye rests upon 
 
MENTAL CULTIVATION. 349 
 
 her with pleasure— the learned and wise, the 
 young and the aged of the opposite sex, delight 
 in her society, and affix to her respect and admi- 
 ration. Ignorance and folly stand reproved in 
 her presence ; and vice, in its bold career, shrinks 
 abashed at her gaze. She moves the joy, the 
 deliglit of the domestic circle ; she excites the 
 praises, the admiration of the world. A female 
 thus armed, thus equipped, is prepared to encoun- 
 ter every trial which this uncertain state may 
 bring — to rise v/ith proper elevation to the pinna- 
 cle of fortune, or sink with becoming fortitude, 
 into the abyss of poverty — to attain with cheerful 
 serenity, the highest bliss, or endure with patient 
 firmness, the depths of wo." Young ladies 
 should cultivate a taste for the acquisition of 
 useful knowledge — always selecting such sub- 
 jects as will throw the most light upon the sta- 
 tion you will probably occupy, and the duties you 
 will be called upon to discharge. In this manner 
 you will lay a broad foundation, upon which you 
 can reasonably rest the hope of experiencing 
 "nuch enjoyment through life. 
 30 
 
CHAPTER X 
 
 THE DISPOSITION. 
 
 1i:>iTUATED as we are, in tlie midst of our fel- 
 low-beings, constantly mingling and holding in- 
 tercourse with them, we are made dependent up- 
 on them, to no small extent, for the enjoyments 
 of existence. But human nature, as developed 
 in this life, is a strange medley of contradictions. 
 Those faculties and propensities which the be- 
 nevolent Author of our being conferred upon us 
 for our benefit, frequently, from a neglect on our 
 part of properly cultivating and controlling them, 
 become the sources of unhappiness. Thus the 
 social propensity— the desire to mingle with our 
 race, which all human kind possess to a high de- 
 gxee — becomes the source of enjoyment or of 
 wretchedness, as Ave duly understand and proper- 
 ly cultivate its incentives, or neglect it, and allow 
 it to be controlled solely by the unrestrained pas- 
 sions. This social principle is possessed, in a 
 peculiar manner, by females. They are, there- 
 fore, deeply-interested in its operations and influ- 
 
 350 
 
THE DISPOSITION. 351 
 
 ences ; and it becomes a subject of no small im- 
 portance to them, to know in what manner its 
 highest enjoyments can be obtained. 
 
 In your intercourse with your fellow-beings, 
 the pleasure to be derived depends entirely upon 
 the disposition which you cherish towards them. 
 If you respect, esteem, and love them, your satis- 
 faction in their society will be of a high degree. 
 But if you envy, hate, or in any way dislike them, 
 their presence becomes the source of unhappi- 
 ness ; and even the thought of them, whenever it 
 occurs, gives you disagreeable sensations. It is 
 thus evident, that certain dispositions or feelings 
 cherished towards others, are, in their influences, 
 disagreeable and painful, while others of a differ- 
 ent character, impart satisfaction and enjoyment. 
 It is my object in this chapter, to notice briefly a 
 few of the most p'-ominent of these dispositions, 
 of both classes. 
 
 Envy is a disposition that frequently usurps a 
 place in the mind. Its influences are of a degra- 
 ding and painful character. Envy never impart- 
 ed a pleasurable emotion to the human bosom, 
 and never can — it is as contrary to its nature, as 
 for ice to give out heat. It is not only a sinful 
 disposition, but one of the most foolish that the 
 young can well entertain. Will envying the ap- 
 pearance, condhion, or possessions of any indi- 
 vidual, give you the desired object ? — will it con- 
 fer upon you wealth, or influence, or splendid 
 dresses, or any qualification, either moral, men- 
 
352 THE DISPOSITION. 
 
 lal, or bodily ? Will it effect any change for ihe 
 better iu your circumstances, even the ruost tri- 
 fling ? Why then permit tliis painful and malig- 
 nant disposition to enter your bosom? Why 
 make your iieart the den of a scorpion, whose 
 every sting is inflicted upon your own happiness? 
 Why voluntarily permit an enemy to enter your 
 mind, and drive out those true friends, peace and 
 contentment ? 
 
 Do you inquire how to deter this feeling from 
 taking possession of your heart, or how to cast it 
 out when once therein? I answer, h^ reflection. 
 Reflection is a light that will reveal the true 
 nature of this hydra, and convince you of the in- 
 consistency of cherishing it. Reflection will sat- 
 tisfy you that there is not so much to be envied 
 in the world, as many Avould seem to believe. 
 To ascertain the real influences upon their pos- 
 sessors, of those circumstances or possessions 
 that are the most common causes of envy, we 
 must apply to those who have experienced them. 
 Ask those who have participated in all the en- 
 joyments that power, wealth, and splendor can 
 bestow, if they should be envied by those in more 
 ordinary circumstances. Abdoulrahman III., 
 was one of the most powerful and prosperous of 
 the Spanish kings of the Arabian race. Victo- 
 rious and wealthy — surrounded by splendor and 
 magnificence — every one imagined that he must 
 be the happiest of mortals. But listen to his own 
 account of his enjoyments, after reigning fifty 
 
TIIF DISPOSITION. 353 
 
 years: "From the lime I ascended ihe tlirone, I 
 marked every day that afforded me true pleasure, 
 and those days amounted to fourteen !" To 
 which he adds — " Mortals ! consider what this 
 world is, and how little we ought to rely upon 
 its pleasures." Pope Adrian VL, who arose from 
 a poor barge-builder, to the Papal throne, desired 
 the following inscription to be placed upon his 
 tomb : — " Here lies Adrian VL, who deemed no 
 misfortune which happened to him in life, so 
 great, as his being called to govern." From 
 these and many additional instances that might 
 be cited, you perceive how entirely inadequate is 
 power, or popularity, or wealth, or splendor, to 
 confer happiness. Why, then, should you envy 
 those who possess them? Remember that gay 
 dresses and splendid equipages are but glittering 
 coverings which conceal, in general, even more 
 wretchedness than tattered garments. Be con- 
 tent, then, v/ith your condition. An honest, vir- 
 tuous, and benevolent heart will confer upon 
 you a greater amount of pure happiness, than all 
 the wealth of the world ! If your associates pos- 
 sess enlightened minds and agreeable manners — 
 if they are respected and loved by community — 
 envy them not, but do that which is much bet- 
 ter : endeavor to equal them in their good quali- 
 fications, and you will soon share with them in 
 the general respect. 
 
 JealGusij is another disposition which you 
 should be careful to avoid. Jealousy is justly 
 30+ 
 
354 THE DISPOSITION. 
 
 termed "the green-eyed monster." It is a bitter 
 foe to human happiness — it coils in the bosum 
 like the serpent, and chokes the fountain of true 
 enjoyment. If you would be blessed with peace, 
 never permit jealousy to enter your mind. It 
 will not only make you unhappy, but will cause 
 you to do and say many things improper and 
 ridiculous. Never be jealous that others are re- 
 ceiving more attention and respect than yourself. 
 If ihey are deserving of it, you should be willing 
 that they should receive what they are justly en- 
 titled to ; but if tliey are not worthy such atten- 
 tions, you may be assured they can not long com- 
 mand them. And in the meantime, study to 
 make yourself agreeable, by an exhibition of the 
 genuine excellences of the female mind and dis- 
 position, and you will have no cause of jealousy 
 towards others. If your affections are placed 
 upon an individual worthy of them, he will be 
 careful to give you no cause for jealousy. But 
 if his conduct is of that improper character as to 
 afford reasonable cause for jealousy, it is a cer- 
 tain indication that he is not worthy your confi- 
 dence or love, and you can not too soon break off 
 all intercourse with him. There is, hence, no 
 justification for harboring emotions of jealousy. 
 They are painful, unbecoming, derogatory to 
 your chRracter, and should be spurned from every 
 female heart. 
 
 Young ladies should also avoid indulging ha- 
 tred, anger, revenge, and all emotions of a like 
 
THE DISPOSITION. 355 
 
 character. These are the baser passions of the 
 human heart — exceedingly reprehensible in man, 
 but in woman disgusting and horrible. What 
 will more entirely eclipse the loveliness of the 
 countenance, than a scowl of hatred, or a storm 
 of anger ! And not only so, but how completely 
 wretched do they cause those to become who in- 
 dulge them ! Every improper disposition cher- 
 ished towards another, infuses a poison into your 
 peace and happiness — so that by indulging it, you 
 but injure yourself. 
 
 The most effectual method of destroying evil 
 dispositions, is by cultivating good ones. Would 
 you be respected, and esteemed, and loved? — 
 would you render yourself agreeable and pleas- 
 ing? — would you be received into the circle of 
 your associates, with the approving smile of 
 friendship and approbation? There is but one 
 way to accomplish this, and that is, by adding to 
 a virtuous character, a kind, friendly, and benev- 
 olent disposition. How much these improve the 
 attractions of a beautiful form and features ! and 
 how engaging do they cause the most plain and 
 ordinary to appear, who exhibit them in their 
 conduct ! If you desire to be unesteemed, dis- 
 liked, avoided — if you desire to be filled with 
 anxiety and wretchedness — then you should be 
 illtempered, morose, unkind, and uncharitable. 
 But if you would secure the friendship and good 
 will of others — if you would open in your own 
 bosom a fountain of unfailing' satisfaction — ex- 
 
"356 TUL uiyi'o.irnoN. 
 
 hibit towards those with whom you associate, 
 kindness, condescension, gentleness, forbearance, 
 and evenness of temper, and you can not fail of 
 accomplishing your object. Wiiat can be more 
 captivating in a young lady, than a constant ex- 
 hibition of kind emotions towards all around her 
 —than a disposition to oblige, to make herself 
 useful to her friends and all connected with her, 
 and to display a placid sweetness of demeanor, 
 that no circumstance can ruffle or disturb ? And 
 howenchantingly lovely is a young woman over- 
 tlowing with pity and benevolence for the poor 
 and unfortunate ! A lady who has a cold, un- 
 feeling heart — who can look unmoved upon sor- 
 row, and want, and distress, while she is sur- 
 rounded by comfort and plenty — is an anomaly ! 
 With sucii a disposition, of what avail are her 
 fair complexion, and faultless features, and sym- 
 metrical form? Every lovely attribute, when 
 covering a heart of slone, becomes repulsive and 
 abhorrent to the generous and noble mind. She 
 is a " scentless flower, which shall blossom with- 
 out esteem, and fall without regret !" But the 
 female whose heart is susceptible of emotions o 
 pity and generosity — who is eager to assuage 
 misfortunes and relieve distress — adds a crown- 
 ing excellency to her attractions, that can not 
 fail to win admiration and esteem. If young 
 ladies would promote their own prosperity and 
 happiness, they must look well to the dispositions 
 they cherish. Let them eradicate all that is evil. 
 
THE DISl'OSITlON. 357 
 
 and cultivate whatever is virtuous and good — let 
 them exhibit "affability of manners, gentleness 
 of demeanor, attention to the courtesies of life, 
 compassion towards all who suffer, whether high 
 or low, a kind construction of all the words and 
 actions of their fellow-creatures, and patient for- 
 bearance, or generous forgiveness towards those 
 who have grieved or injured them," and they 
 will thus lay a safe and sure foundation for peace 
 and happiness. 
 
CHAPTER XI. 
 
 CONVERSATION. 
 
 It is a prevalent supposition that ladies possess 
 the faculty of " ready utterance, in a higher de- 
 gree, as a general rule, than the other sex. This 
 position is strengthened, when we consider the 
 fluency and ease with Avhich females, when un- 
 embarrassed, communicate their thoughts. But 
 this fluency of speech, when unguarded and un- 
 restrained, becomes, not unfrequently, the fruit- 
 ful source of evil. The character and prospects 
 of ladies, depend much upon the matter and 
 the manner of their conversation. To be enabled 
 to select proper and useful subjects for conversa- 
 tion, and to express themselves in an appropriate 
 and pleasant manner, are accomplishments which 
 every young female should strive to acquire, and 
 the possession of which, will tend greatly to her 
 advantage in society. 
 
 It is true, nature is diversified in her gifts in this 
 respect, as well as in others. To some she gives 
 a G^reater aptitude or capabilitv of expressina: their 
 
CONVERSATION. 359 
 
 ideas in a fluent and graceful manner — while 
 others find it difficult to speak in a mode satisfac- 
 tory to themselves, or pleasing to others. But 
 as appropriateness in conversation, depends not 
 more upon the manner of speaking, than upon 
 the character of the thoughts expressed, naturt 
 frequently equalizes her endowments, by giving 
 unto those who are " slow and lame of speech," 
 clear, strongj and expanded minds — so that the 
 deficiency in their utterance is more than coun- 
 terbalanced by the value of the sentiments they 
 express . 
 
 However, tlie faculty of conversation is ca 
 pable Oi" great iinprovement. By proper appli- 
 cation and attention, the most deficient in this 
 respect, can learn, not only the proper subjects of 
 conversation, but also to speak in an appropriate 
 and agreeable manner. 
 
 That there are evils growing out of an igno- 
 rance upon this subject, admits of not a doubt. 
 How much unhappiness has been caused by im- 
 proper language. Who has not experienced the 
 evils flowing from even one "unruly tongue" in 
 the'^neighborhood ? How many misunderstand- 
 ings, difficulties, feuds, animosities — how much 
 contention, and discord, and warring — have been 
 caused by " the little member," wh©n it is "full 
 of deadly poison !" Not only has society expe- 
 rienced these evils, but they have extended theriK 
 selves to kingdoms. Nations have been involved 
 in long and bloody wars, originating solely in the 
 
360 CONVERSATION. 
 
 utterance of a harsh expression, or an unguarded 
 sentence. 
 
 My suggestions upon tlils subject must neces- 
 sarily be of a general character, relating more 
 particularly to public intercourse, than to conver- 
 sation with intimate friends and relatives in the 
 private family circle. Although in the latter 
 case, the spirit, and in most instances the letter, 
 of the remarks that follow, should be strictly ob- 
 served. 
 
 In conversation, guard against raising your 
 voice to a high key. Young ladies frequently 
 overlook this precaution. In the hilarity of their 
 spirits, they are liable to indulge in a volume of 
 voice, which, were they alone, would startle them. 
 The improprieties of this practice, must be evi- 
 dent. It is highly indelicate. There is a certain 
 modesty and reserve which young ladies can no 
 more overstep with propriety, in their language 
 and voice, than in their personal manners. The 
 practice of loud speaking, is not only indelicate, 
 but it disturbs others. What can be more dis- 
 agreeable than for a female voice to be raised to 
 the alto key, and stun the rest of the company 
 into silence. All eyes are riveted upon its ownei^ 
 and in many a discreet mind, she becomes an ob- 
 ject of censure and dislike. Neither should loud 
 conversation in the public street, be indulged in — 
 a habit which some young ladies think quite al- 
 lowable and appropriate. But it is an oflfence 
 against delicacy and propriety. Young women 
 
CONVEftS'ATION- 361 
 
 of commendabTeigaodesty, will be cautious how 
 they attract the gaze of the throng iu the public 
 thoroughfare, by their loud speech, or rude be- 
 havior. You cannot be too circunnspect in your 
 demeanor in public. An indiscretion, either in 
 word or action exhibited there, is noticed by 
 many, who will set it down much to your disad- 
 vantage. ♦ 
 
 Equally to be avoided is an affected, lisping, or 
 drawling manner of speaking. By some, this is 
 considered exceedingly polished and lady-like. 
 But in this they greatly err. The real lady stud- 
 ies to speak naturally^ and that is ever graceful- 
 ly. An affected tone or pronunciation, evinces a 
 weak mind — so weak, indeed, as to resort to this 
 outward mincmg, to establish pretensions to gen^ 
 tility, instead of exhibiting those emotions of 
 kindness and urbanity, which are the unfailing 
 indications of genuine politeness. You greatly 
 mistake, if you imagine your claims to the char- 
 acter of a lady, can be established by affectation. 
 This, so far from gaining you the esteem and re- 
 spect of the listeners, will make you appear in- 
 sipid and simple — devoid of taste and good sense. 
 Many young ladies, by vain affectation in their 
 language and manners, have often created dis- 
 gust, where they might otherwise have gained 
 respect. I repeat, in your conversation, speak in 
 your natural tone of voice, and with a pronun- 
 ciation clear, distinct, and correct. Lexicogra- 
 phers, as well as people of different countries and 
 31 
 
362 C0.\V£R.SAT10N- 
 
 communilies, vary in regard to the rules of pro- 
 nunciation. Johnson and Walker, are both de- 
 ficient in many respects. Webster is more chaste 
 and natural, and in this country, is rapidly be- 
 coming '.he general standard of pronunciation. 
 
 Be upon your guard against engrossing too 
 much of the conversation in company. When 
 you reflect how often the most guarded speak in 
 a manner which they afterward regret — how 
 often they converse on subjects, and Velate cir- 
 cumstances, and circulate reports that are im- 
 proper — you will perceive the dangers which sur- 
 round the unguarded and talkative ; and you will 
 also perceive the necessity of allowing the judg- 
 ment to hold with firm grasp, the reins of the 
 tongue, that nothing of an injudicious character 
 may be uttered. In company, if you can not 
 speak to the purpose — if your tongue is liable to 
 run away with your sense — the less you say, the 
 better. But if you can converse in a judicious 
 and sensible manner, you still should avoid speak- 
 ing too much, because others may have a desire 
 to express their sentiments, as well as yourself. 
 Few people have an inclination to remain silent 
 by the hour, to listen to your words, however 
 proper they may be ; but all desire to bear a part 
 in the general flow of social conversation. I 
 would not recommend an entire reserve, a total 
 silence— this would be as much an extreme as 
 volubility — though not so dangerous. Every 
 young woman should exercise her judgment in 
 
CONVERSATION. 363 
 
 this respect, and take such part in the general 
 conversation, as circumstances and propriety die- 
 late. However, " it were far better to leave a 
 circle wishing, from Avhat you have actually said, 
 that you had said more, than out of patience with 
 you for having talked so much." 
 
 Young ladies should avoid conversing even in 
 whispers, in assemblies convened for the worship 
 of God, or for any public lecture. This practice 
 is highly reprehensible. It disturbs both the 
 speaker and the audience — especially those in 
 your immediate vicinity. There is no greater 
 manifestation of a lack of politeness, than this, 
 "When I behold young people, on such occasions, 
 inattentive to the subjects that should engross 
 their entire attention, and engaged in frequent 
 whisperings, I instantly set them down as youth 
 extremely ill bred, and entirely destitute of the 
 most ordinary rules of decorum! 
 
 Never allov/ yourself to speak evil of another, 
 without the most ample evidence of their guilt. 
 Mankind, in their best estate, are liable to err. 
 There is enough, therefore, to be said of the real 
 defects of ourselves as v/ell as others, without at- 
 tributing evil conduct to people, of which they 
 are not guilty. You should be slow to believe 
 reports detrimental to the good name of your 
 neighbor, and still slov/er in spreading them 
 abroad to the world. I urge you not to counte- 
 nance or cover up vice — this would be Very im- 
 proper. But T would have you very cautious 
 
364 C(JNVERaATIO\, 
 
 about believing or circulating statements detri- 
 mental to the reputation of another, until you are 
 fully and perfectly satisfied that they are guilty 
 of the misdemeanor alleged against them. — 
 Neither withhold praise wherever it is due. It is 
 a mark of a selfish and vain spirit, never to allow- 
 that any but yourself or your particular friends 
 possess any talent, acquirement, or worth. But 
 it is an indication of a generous and noble mind, 
 to give credit to those who deserve it — to ac- 
 knowledge the valuable qualities displayed even 
 by an enemy. 
 
 Do not allow yourself to indulge in ridiculing 
 any, in regard to their dress or appearance — es- 
 pecially the poor and the aged. This would 
 evince an emptiness of mind, and a coldness of 
 heart, deserving of deep reproof. The young 
 lady who indulges in this practice, is unv/orthy ot 
 affection or respect. Having no heart to feel — 
 no sense of propriety to direct — whoever becomes 
 connected with her, will most certainly and keen- 
 ly feel the evils flowing from these deficiencies. 
 in company, you should avoid making any one 
 the subject of much raillery, or the butt of wit- 
 ticisms, or endeavoring to turn the laugh upon 
 them. Those who indulge in these practices, 
 often unthinkingly gain enemies, when their only 
 object was to cause merriment. And although 
 it can hardly be necessary, yet I would caution 
 young ladies against expressing themselves in 
 coarse language, or interlarding their conversa- 
 
CONVERSATION. 365 
 
 tion with tlegratling epitheti^, or illustrating their 
 views with low comparisons. I need not say 
 that all these practices are opposed to female del- 
 icacy and propriety. 
 
 In conversation, always endeavor to be agree- 
 able, pleasant, and sensible. These are no small 
 additions to the attractions of a young lady. In 
 company it is not inappropriate to engage occa- 
 sionally in grave and serious conversation, yet, 
 generally, the topics should be of a cheerful char- 
 acter, as the object of assembling in company, is 
 to confer mutual enjoyment and satisfaction. But 
 in allowing the conversation to be cheerful, care 
 should be taken not to permit it to degenerate 
 into the frivolous or ridiculous. The amusing 
 and instructive should both be blended together, 
 so as equally to interest and improve those who 
 converse and those who listen. It is time wasted 
 to engage in conversation that has not a tendency 
 to enlighten and improve. 
 
 To have your conversation interesting to others, 
 it is necessary that you possess a well cultivated 
 and well stored mind. Without this pre-requi- 
 site, there is danger that it will be insipid and 
 irksome to the discriminating. In despite of all 
 precaution, the true qualities of the mind will 
 develope themselves in a free interchange of 
 thought. While the weakness and imbecility, 
 the selfishness and vanity, of the ignorant and 
 untrained mind, will become clearly visible — on 
 the other hand, the discipline and cultivation, the 
 31* 
 
366 CUNVKHSATION. 
 
 intrinsic excellences and valuable acquirements 
 ol' the enlightened underatanding, will, without 
 etfort, brightly shine forth, and add beauty and 
 interest to the possessor. This should be an ad- 
 ditional inducement to influence young women 
 to turn much of their attention to mental culti- 
 vation. 
 
 You will bevv^are of egotism, as much as pos- 
 sible. Let self^ with its importance, its accom- 
 plishments, and all its wonderful achievements, 
 be forgotten in the desire either to please, interest, 
 or instruct those v/ith whom you converse, or in 
 a disposition to learn from their superior wisdom 
 or experience, wherein you was before deficient. 
 
 Avoid the appearance of pedantry. Your tal- 
 ents and acquirements should not be devoted to 
 display alone, but to the instruction and edifica- 
 tion of those with whom you associate. When- 
 ever, therefore, you converse with those whose 
 attainments are limited, instead of making a pom- 
 pous display of your knowledge, and speaking in 
 a strain above their comprehension, interspersed 
 with hackneyed expressions, or quotations from a 
 foreign language, or with scraps of poetry, you 
 should accommodate yourself to their capacities, 
 and speak in a plain, simple, instructive manner, 
 which they can understand and appreciate. Tt is 
 one of the characteristics of a discriminating and 
 enlightened mind, to know how to accommodate 
 itself to the condition, employment, and capacities 
 of those with whom it converses, so that it can 
 
CONVERSATION. 367 
 
 impart and receive information, by an exchange 
 of thought with the most ignorant. 
 
 Always give the strictest adherence to truth. 
 How dark is the stain cast upon the character of 
 the young lady, who is known to deviate from the 
 straight line of truth. Veracity is one of the 
 brightest jewels of the female character. Never 
 allow it to be sullied under any pretence whatever. 
 But by a strict adherence to truth in all cases, 
 erect a strong pillar for the upholding of a spot- 
 less reputation. 
 
 Some young ladies, who reside in our cities 
 and villages, when visiting their friends in the 
 country, often exhibit a great lack of discretion 
 and propriety. While speaking lightly, and per- 
 haps contemptuously, of the plain appearance, 
 dress, or habits of the people of the country, the 
 constant themes of their conversation, are the 
 fashions, amusements, and the superior refine- 
 ment of a city life. Every thing in city or village 
 is extolled, while all in the country is cried out 
 against, as outlandish and vulgar. At social par- 
 ties, and often at church, their whole time is 
 spent in pointing out, and making remarks upon, 
 the alleged boorish appearance and manners of 
 the people. It is truly surprising that young 
 ladies, who indulge in these practices, do not per- 
 ceive their impropriety — do not perceive that this 
 conduct shows an entire lack of good breeding, 
 of genuine politeness and gentility — do not per- 
 ceive how evident they make it appear, that those 
 
368 CONVLUMATION. 
 
 very country people wlioni ilu/y ridicule as so far 
 removed from fashion, are immensely above them 
 iu every valuable and useful qualification, in every 
 trait of real urbanity and politeness.* Such 
 young ladies should be aware that in this manner 
 they make themselves perfectly ridiculous, and 
 that in the eyes of the discriminating, they are the 
 ones who are deficient in the most valuable qual- 
 ifications of ladies. In visiting the country, you 
 should go as learners^ and not as instructors — for 
 there are many valuable lessons, not only in in- 
 dustry, economy and taste, but also in the rules 
 of propriety and good manners, that you can 
 learn iu the country, and profitably put into prac- 
 tice when you return. And you should avoid 
 pressing upon your country friends, your peculiar 
 views of fashion and manners, which too oftea 
 ariginate in the degrading corruptions of the 
 town — and, in general, allude to them no farther 
 than to answer inquiries relating to them. Fash- 
 ions deeply bordering on indelicacy, are some- 
 times tolerated by the vitiated taste of the city ; 
 but those who should adopt them where the 
 purer and more modest taste of the country pre- 
 vails, would be justly subjected to ridicule and 
 
 • See definition of peliteness, in " A Voice to Youth," 
 chax)ter viil 
 
i • CHAPTER XII. 
 
 SELF-GOVERNMENT. 
 
 The importance oi" self-government, to young 
 ladies, is so perfectly evident, that it is unneces- 
 sary to enter upon a labored argument to prove a 
 point so clear. Having endov^^ed us with all the 
 powers and faculties necessary for our enjoyment 
 and usefulness, our Creator enjoins it upon us to 
 bring these capabilities into a proper activity, and 
 to allow the mental and moral powers to exercise 
 that guidance and control, for which they are so 
 peculiarly adapted. Self-government, therefore, 
 is a necessary duty, devolving upon us from our 
 consntution and condition. A faithful discharge 
 of th^s duty, is one of the most effectual means of 
 securing the highest earthly prosperity and en- 
 joyment ; but its neglect will as effectually in- 
 voivr you in the deepest Avretchedness. Know 
 thysf^'f, and control thyself, are two injunctions 
 fruitful in blessings. If self-government is neces- 
 sary for young men, how much more important 
 is >>s exercise to young women ! — how absolutely 
 
 369 
 
370 SEl.r GOVKRNMENT. 
 
 essential to ilieir character and general safety! 
 Without its controUi ig influence, you may ima- 
 gine yourself free, but you are in imminent dan- 
 ger of a miserable vassalage, a degrading bondage 
 to every evil principle, every debasing passion. 
 Without it, although you may, for a season, re- 
 main re-pectahle, yet you have no assurance that 
 ruin and wretchedness will not speedily overtake 
 you. Ir.deed, without a firm and decided self- 
 government, it is impossible for you long to re- 
 tain a good character, and a common proportion 
 of happiness. 
 
 The basis of strict self-government, rests upon 
 a knowledge of your own nature, the character of 
 your wants, and the proper manner of supplying 
 ihem, and an enlightened understanding of the 
 moral and religious instructions of the Gospel of 
 Jesus Christ. A greater or less amount of igno- 
 rance upon these points, will, in a proportionate 
 'degree, involve you in a debasing thraldom to the 
 animal propensities, and dim the lustre of your 
 higher nature. But become enlightened upon 
 these subjects, and to the same extent will you 
 be enabled to restrain and control the various 
 passions which pertain to your bodily constitu- 
 tion. 
 
 A perfect self-government is no trivial achieve- 
 ment. " Ke thai is master of his own spirit, is a 
 hero indeed." But it is much easier to obtain 
 this victory in youth, than in more advanced life. 
 If you ccrnmence early a habitual self-control, 
 
SELF-GOVERNMENT. 371 
 
 the pasiion > are easily brouglit under proper "re- 
 straint, and yoa can govern them through life 
 without difficulty. But delay until they have ob- 
 tained an ascendancy over your higher nature, 
 and you can not succeed in reducing them to the 
 control of the mental and moral faculties, without 
 ^n arduous and afflicting struggle. There need 
 be no ignorance respecting the manner of exer- 
 cising and enforcing self-control ; for nature has 
 afforded you every needed requisite. The pro- 
 pensities prompt to a certam action, and urge its 
 commission. The mental faculties enable you 
 to discover the real nature of the act, and point 
 to the consequences which will flow from it — and 
 the moral powers will indicate its character, 
 whether right or wrong, good or evil. Now, self- 
 government consists in abiding by, and enforcing, 
 the decisions of the mental and moral powers. 
 But by giving Avay to the promptings of the pro- 
 pensities, in violation to the dictates of the higher 
 faculties, you destroy self-control, and unfailingly 
 become involved in wretchedness. 
 
 From these reflections, you perceive that self- 
 government should first be exercised upon the 
 thoughts. Indeed, I may safely say, this is its 
 entire field of operations. Few, it^ any, actions, 
 good or bad, are performed, that are not the sub- 
 ject of a mental process — so that the action par- 
 takes of the character of the thought. To have 
 the actions right, then, the thoughts must be pure 
 — and to obtain this purity, the thoughts must be 
 
372 StLF-GOVEHN.MENT. 
 
 under the guidance of die mental and moral pow- 
 ers, and above the swaying influence of the pas- 
 sions. Many seem to imagine it unnecessary to 
 exercise any control over the thoughts, but allow 
 them the entire range of the imagination. " Why 
 restrain the thoughts?" says one — "thoughts are 
 harmless." Virtuous thoughts are harmless; but 
 all thoughts are not of this character. Those of 
 a vicious nature, will sometimes obtrude upon 
 the mind, and when allowed to remain there un- 
 checked, they become the primary elements of 
 sinful actions. But if you exercise a proper self- 
 government, and w^ith firmness expel immediate- 
 ly such thoughts, when they enter the mental 
 abode, they will then have no opportunity to ob- 
 tain a foothold, or to exert their poisoning and 
 destructive influences. 
 
 In previous chapters, I have noticed several 
 subjects that might legitimately come under the 
 head of self-government. As it is unnecessary 
 to repeat them, it only remains for me to call 
 your attention, briefly, to a few addiiioual points, 
 in regard to which it is necessary to exercise 
 self-control. 
 
 Petulance is a failing strictly to be guarded 
 against. This is an unhappy state of mind, to 
 which young ladies sometimes give way. To be- 
 come irritated at every little circumstance which 
 is not perfectly agreeable — to permit the flash of 
 anger to overspreacj the countenance at every 
 tTtbing offence — wii! destroy the influence of the 
 
SELF-GOVERNMENT. 373 
 
 loveliest personal attractions, and cause her who 
 exhibits lliis irascible temper, to become disa- 
 greeable to herself and offensive to others. These 
 outbreakings of petulance throw you entirely off 
 your guardj and while the fit is on, render you 
 almost as destitute of the guidance of reason, as 
 the monomaniac. Yet you are as accountable 
 for your conduct in these paroxysms, as in your 
 calmest moments, because it is no excuse for a 
 reprehensible action, that it was performed under 
 the influence of anger. Many are the words and 
 the actions of which you are guilty in moments 
 -of petulance, that you deeply regret when cool 
 reflection ensues ; and in this manner you sub- 
 ject yourself to ridicule and disrespect. A dis- 
 position of this character clouds your prospects 
 of a respectable and eligible connection. Who 
 can desire to be united for life, to one who gives 
 every indication of speedily becoming a scold and 
 a vixen ? 
 
 There is undoubtedly much difference in natu- 
 ral temperament, in regard to this disposition. 
 Some are quickly excited by circumstances that 
 would have but little influence upon others. But 
 no one has been endowed with a disposition that 
 is ungovernable. By a due cultivation of the in- 
 tellectual and moral powers, and by a proper ex- 
 ercise of them in self-government, the most irrita- 
 ble disposition can be held in subjection. When- 
 ever you discover your temper rising in such 
 manner as to threaten an outbreaking, bring it at 
 32 
 
374 BLLF-aoVKRNMENT. 
 
 once under the control of the higher sentime-nts— 
 exert reflection for one moment, on the disagreea- 
 ble effect and result of such a disposition, and you 
 will be greatly aided in self-control. If you feel 
 that your irritation is like to exceed command, 
 exercise sufRcienl presence of mind to leave im- 
 mediately the company of the offending party, if 
 possible, and the effervescence of your anger will 
 be the more harmless, and will the sooner sub- 
 side. It has been recommended, that when per- 
 sons are becoming angry, they should speak in a 
 subdued and gentle tone of voice, which would be 
 more likely to keep the passions in a calmer state. 
 "A soft answer turneth away wrath," says the 
 wise man — and not only so, but will cause your 
 own anger to subside. Caius Gracchus, the Ro- 
 man, was a man of strong passions, which often \ei 
 him into a loud and boisterous manner of speak- 
 .ng. To remedy this evil, he caused his servant, 
 Licinius always to attend him with a pitch-pipe, 
 or instrument to regulate the voice, with direc- 
 tions that whenever his master raised his voice 
 above a certain pitch, he should sound a soft note 
 on his pipe. This ingenious expedient had the 
 desired effect of keeping Caius within the bounds 
 of moderation. If the fair rerader, when emo- 
 tions of anger are kindling in her breast, would 
 think of the pitch-pipe of Caius Gracchus, it might 
 greatly assist her in allaying its outbreakings. 
 
 Self-government is necessary to avoid violating 
 ibe confidence reposed in you. In yofrr inter- 
 
8ELF-O0Vr.r<NMEr<T. 
 
 375 
 
 course wiih your associates, many circumstances 
 will be communicated to you with injunctions of 
 secresy. There are some who, it would seem, 
 are entirely incapable of keeping a secret any 
 length of lime. The moment they obtain it. al- 
 ■though, perhaps, profuse in protestations of invi- 
 olability, they are as restless with their charge, 
 as though they were pressing coals of fire. They 
 give themselves no peace, day nor night, until the 
 privacy is divulged in a delightful gossip with 
 some other secret-hunter, who receives it with 
 iike promises of silence, only to be again broken 
 in like manner. Others receive confidential com- 
 munications, with an honest mental resolve that 
 they will not divulge them. But in an unguarded 
 moment, the secret is revealed to some intimate 
 friend, from whom it flies to another, and another, 
 iifi*i{ it finally becomes entirely public. This 
 imbecility is wholly owing to a lack of self-gov- 
 ernment. There is much prudence to be observed 
 in receiving communications of a confidential 
 character. You should never pledge your word 
 to keep a secret, until you ascertain something of 
 its nature — or should never make such pledge, 
 without a reservation against concealing any fact 
 that duty would require you to divulge. If re- 
 ports are repeated to you, calculated to injure the 
 character or peace of an innocent individual, how- 
 ever strong may be the injunctions to secresy, 
 you should unhesitatingly reveal them to the per- 
 son to whom they relate, that wrong may be pre- 
 
376 SELK-OCiVDItNMCNT. 
 
 vented or remedieil. But when a friend reposes 
 confidence in you, and communicates information 
 which no clear duty calls upon you to divulge, 
 you should lock the secret in your hreast, and 
 never, without permission, reveal it to the most 
 intimate companion. Under these circumstances, 
 you should strictly conform to the j;'olden rule, 
 and keep the secrets of another, as you would 
 have another keep yours. And hy exercising that 
 self-control which all can command, you can suc- 
 ceed in this determination, to a most perfect de- 
 gree. While upon this subject, permit me to 
 remark, that it is exceedingly improper to impor- 
 tune or endeavor, in any vvay, to wring from 
 others, secrets which they desire not to divulge. 
 Politeness and propriety direct, whenever an evi- 
 dent disinclination, is manifested to reveal any 
 thing of a confidential nature, that you should 
 forbear further solicitations, and remain silent in 
 respect to it. 
 
 Strive to be contented icitk your condition. 
 "A contented mind is a continual feast," says the 
 old maxim- truly. Contentment is an unceasing 
 fountain of enjoyment. Without it, all condi- 
 tions, however elevated or prosperous, are alike 
 barren of happiness. In this manner — under the 
 influence of contentment — the peasant in his cot- 
 tage, is often vastly more happy than the mon- 
 arch in his gorgeous palace. 
 
 "Hail, blest estate of lowliness, 
 n.ippy rnjoymeiits of such minda 
 
BELF-QOVEKNMENT. 377 
 
 As, rich In pure contents dnesa, 
 
 Can, like the reeds in roughest winds, 
 By yielding, make that blow but small, 
 By which proud oaks and cedars fall." 
 
 It is important that young ladies should strive to 
 be contented with their condition. The influen- 
 ces of a disposition of an opposite character, will 
 not only make them unhappy, but will be liable to 
 lead them into efforts to change their circumstan- 
 ces,, that may be indiscreet, yea, positively dan- 
 gerous. Wisdom and prudence dictate that they 
 should qualify themselves for a faithful and use- 
 ful discharge of duties, which, from any change 
 of circumstances, may devolve upon them j but, 
 in the meantime, to remain contented with their 
 present circumstances, until opportunity shall of- 
 fer for a prudent change. A trifling exercise of 
 self-government, in this respect, can not but be 
 highly beneficial. 
 
 Never allow yourself to dislike those who 
 would counsel you. Young people are liable to 
 indulge in this feeling. Whenever parents or 
 friends would dissuade them from those things 
 that would exert a deleterious influence upon 
 their' prosperity and happiness, they sometimes 
 look upon them &s needlessly opposing their en- 
 joyments, and hence allow a feeling of dislike 
 to arise against them. But this is highly im- 
 proper. " Love those who advise you, not those 
 who praise you," says Boileau. Think not those 
 unkind who would caution you respecting your 
 conduct. They harbor no evil design against 
 32* 
 
378 8CLK OOVCRNMENT. 
 
 you — their only object la counselling you, is your 
 benefit. Had ihey no regard for your welfare, 
 had they no interest in your peace and prosperity, 
 they v/ould remain silent. But being alive to 
 your happiness — cherishing a deep solicitude that 
 you should be respected and honored — they watch 
 over you with careful scrutiny, and would direct 
 you in those paths which, while free from dan- 
 ger, will lead you into permanent peace and en- 
 joyment. In this light should you look upon 
 their admonitions. You should allow their exer- 
 tions in your behalf, to awaken sentiments of es- 
 teem and gratitude, rather than dislike. And 
 with a knowledge of their kind intentions, you 
 should permit their advice to have a deep and 
 abiding influence upon you. 
 
 Finally, study your own nature and disposi- 
 tion; learn your respective duties toward God, 
 your fellow-beings, and yourself — cherish the 
 resolution to discharge them faithfully — and the 
 work of self-government will not be difficult oi 
 irksome. 
 
CHAPTER XIII. 
 
 MARRIAGE. 
 
 While it may not, perhaps, be necessary to 
 urge young ladies to reflect upon the subject of 
 marriage, yet it is all-important that they should 
 be counselled to reflect aright in regard to it. — 
 Marriage is one of the most important events in 
 the life of woman. It effects a total revolution 
 in her circumstances. It introduces her into a 
 new field of existence — to new scenes, duties, 
 trials and responsibilities. Her peace, happiness, 
 and prosperity, throughout the remaining portion 
 of her earthly existence, depend mainly upon the 
 circumstances under which she enters into this 
 union. To young ladies, then, marriage should 
 be a subject of deep, solemn, mature deliberation. 
 It should be divested of all romantic imagina* 
 tions, and be viewed as an event of a character 
 so momentous, as to give shape to their destiny — 
 a change which is to decide whether theirs is to 
 be happiness or sorrow, peace or wretchedness, 
 through life. 
 
 379 
 
380 MARniAQK. 
 
 With these self-evident remarks in view it 
 would seom qiiife unnecessary to caution young 
 Jadics against entering rashly and without suffi- 
 cient premeditation into the married state. And 
 yet how many rush blindfolded as it were, into 
 this connexion for life ! How many, under the 
 influence of some romantic, evanescent attach- 
 ment, arising i'rora frivolous circumstances, or 
 the most empty and fleeting attractions, confide 
 their happiness to the keeping of those every way 
 unworthy of a trust so important, and v/ho are 
 utterly incapable of sincere love, or generous sen- 
 timent ! A long life of contention, of bitteruess, 
 may be, of poverty and want, and degradation, 
 too late convinces them of their early folly. I 
 repeat, therefore, that an event of so much im- 
 portance, and upon which depend so many seri- 
 ous and long continued consequences, should be 
 a matter of the most serious and prayerful reflec- 
 tion to young ladies. And the necessity of pre- 
 cautionary meditation is strengthened by the re- 
 flection, that a mis-step in this event, is irrepara- 
 ble. When once the union has been formed, no 
 awakening from a dreaming delusion, no discov- 
 ery of mistaken views, or unconfirmed anticipa- 
 tions, or unrequited affection, no regret, or sor- 
 row, or despondency, can dissolve its ties and 
 restore the deceived one to her former condition. 
 A life deeply clouded with wretchedness, is the 
 unavoidable forfeiture of her rashness. 
 
 My 6r>:t precaution to young ladies, in regard 
 
MARniAGE. 381 
 
 to matrimony, is not to enter upon it too young. 
 Thousands of females are brought to a premature 
 gravo by neglect upon this point. ?,Iarriage 
 should never be consummated until the body has 
 obtained full growth and maturity — which in 
 females, is seldom before the age of twenty or 
 twenty-two. A violation of this rule, induces a 
 long train of evils,* as all can perceive who will 
 make the slightest observation in community. 
 Another objection, in addition to destruction of 
 health, is, that females must arrive at years of 
 reflection and discretion, before they can possess 
 that maturity of judgment, so essential to the 
 efficient discharge of the responsible duties, which 
 devolve upon the head of a family. I have en- 
 deavored to show in a previous chapter, the evils 
 which flow from this lack of knowledge and judg- 
 ment, to the lady herself, and those connected 
 with her. 
 
 Beware of early and hasty entanglements. 
 Many young ladies entertain the opinion that it 
 is very romantic to fall in love at first sight. Plow- 
 ever appropriate and delightful this may be in a 
 lackadaisical novel, believe me, it is an unwise 
 and very silly practice in real life, and calls in 
 question very decidedly, the good sense of her 
 who is guilty of it. The aflections have little or 
 no power of penetration and research of their 
 own. They view things upon the surface, and 
 
 ♦ See Combe's Moral Philosophy, Lecture V. 
 
382 M\IT}»IA<SI!. 
 
 when uiicuntrolled. are capiivaleJ by what ap' 
 peats i*)'fea'sirt'^, wiilioul any regard to intrinsic 
 worth, ur real merit. Hence, as appearances are 
 exceedingly deceitful, if the alFections are with- 
 out guide, they are as liable to be centered upon 
 a worthless object, if it has but a fair exterior, as 
 upon one of value. Consequently, this falling in 
 love at first sight, is extremely dangeroas,- and 
 should be especially guarded against by yofmg 
 ladies. Our Creator has placed the affections 
 under the control of the intellectual powers — the 
 reason — the judgment— and they should be per- 
 fnitted to decide as to the worth and excellence 
 of every object, before the affections are allowed 
 to settle upon it. In pursuing this course the re- 
 stilt seldom foils of being auspicious. Young 
 laJ?6s s-hot^ld be exceedingly cautious to keep 
 their affections under their own co-ntrd, trntl nev- 
 er allow them to concentrate upon an individual, 
 until they are perfectly satisfied that he is wor- 
 thy of the riches of their love. 
 
 In connection with this precaution, is another 
 of equal imporlance. Never engage in a hasty 
 marriage. Many instances have transpired with- 
 in my own observation, and undoubtedly, within 
 the observation of the reader, where parties have 
 married after an acquaintance of but a few days 
 or weeks ! It is needless to dwell upon the ex- 
 ii erne danger of this practice — especially to the 
 lady. What a consummation of imprudence and 
 folly, to connect yourself for life, with one who 
 
MAflRlAGC. 383 
 
 is virtually a stranger — of whose character, prin- 
 ciples and habits you have no safe ground to 
 judge correctly ! This is, indeed, making mar- 
 riage "a lottery." If you imitate this example, 
 the chances are a thousand to one, that you will 
 draw a blank! — yea, much worse than a blank, 
 an unworthy and unprincipled companion ! Be- 
 ware, then, of a hasty marriage, as you value 
 your happiness. For, although, in this manner, 
 you may possibly secure an eligible connexion, 
 yet the chances of a contrary result are so nu- 
 merous, thai prudence'and safety will not war- 
 rant the hazard. 
 
 JEqual caution is necessary against entering in 
 to .premature and rash engagements. They of- 
 ten lead to great evils. Before you pledge your 
 "troth," you should know perfectly, the charac- 
 ter of your suitor, and his prospects in life. And 
 it is also highly necessary, before you make any 
 engagement, to consult your parents or guardian, 
 and even some intimate friend, in relation to its 
 propriety. Conceal from them nothing on this 
 point. If even after you are engaged, you discov- 
 er in him who pays his addresses to you, any 
 new trait of character, hitherto unseen, which 
 you have good reason to believe would be a bar 
 to your happiness were you united with him, 
 break oflf the engagement immediately, and at all 
 hazards. Your future peace and prosperity de- 
 mand it — and justice, honor and religion will 
 sarction vcur derision ! 
 
384 MARKIAOZ. 
 
 '•Abhor the vlmv idea of clandestine connexions 
 as a violation of every duty you owe to God and 
 man. There is nothing heroic in a secret corre- 
 spondence. The silliest girU and weakest men 
 can maintain it. and h;\ve been most frequently 
 engaged in it. Spurn the individual who would 
 come between you and your natural guardians. 
 Hearken to the opinions of your parents, with all 
 that deference which is due to them. Rare are 
 the cases in which you should act in opposition 
 to their wishes." 
 
 Never marry a fop. By a fop, I mean a man 
 whose whole attention and mind are entirely en- 
 grossed by dress and exterior embellishments — 
 he who view^s the hue or set of a garment as of 
 "greater importance than industry and economy, 
 than honesty of intention, purity of heart, and 
 the cultivation of the mind ! Such au individual 
 may possess comely features, may make a fine 
 appearance, and display gentility in manners, yet 
 he is swayed by no truly valuable characteristic 
 — by none of that Avorthiness which is so essen- 
 tial to matrim.onial happiness. He cannot appre- 
 ciate the real excellencies of the female heart, 
 and is incapable of cherishing pute and genuine 
 affection. To unite your destiny with such a 
 man, would be placing your happiness upon a 
 sandy foundation. 
 
 Do not marry an indolent man. To become 
 the wife of an individual of this character, would 
 be to subject yourself, in all human probability, 
 
MARRIAGE. 386 
 
 to poverty and all its accompanying evils. If he 
 possesses no property at the commencement of 
 matrimonial life, you may be assured there is lit- 
 tle probability of his thriving afterward. The 
 young man who, under ordinary circumstances, 
 has not sufficient industry and energy to acquire 
 some property before marriage, will not be likely 
 to do so with the cares and expenses of a family 
 upon him. Even if he has some possessi9ns, 
 there is no certainty that he will long retain 
 them. He who is too indolent to acquire prop- 
 erty, will be too negligent to retain, for any 
 grjeat length of lime, that which he may already 
 possess. 
 
 Be equally cautious not to marry a spendthrift. 
 The same, or worse consequences Avill follow 
 this indiscretion, as in the instance last referred 
 to. The spendthrift may be industrious — people 
 of this character often are — but of what avail is 
 his industry, if he squanders the fruit of his exer- 
 tions in some frivolous and useless manner, as 
 fast as it accumulates ? He may be wealthy ; but 
 the riches of such a man are as the early dew be- 
 fore the rays of the sun — they will speedily van- 
 ish away, and leave poverty and wretchedness 
 behind — the more keenly felt, because of former 
 prosperity. And, besides, the spendthrift, in his 
 extravagance, is liable to, and usually does, ac- 
 quire vicious habits, which accelerate the ruin 
 aHd seal the misery of hinniself and his family. 
 You can ascertain without difficuliy, the charac- 
 33 
 
386 MAnRiAaij. 
 
 ler of a youfi<^ man in thh re>pect. If he ex- 
 pends all his income in vain amusemetits, while 
 he is single, you may be quite certain he will 
 conlinue a course a<; l)ad, or even worse, after en- 
 tering the MiairieJ state. " I have in my eye at 
 this moment, an accomplished female, (and it 
 were easy to adduce a thousand similar cases.) 
 who married a man of vast wealth, but of prodi- 
 gal habits ; and years have passed away since 
 that i-mmense fortune has gone to the winds ; and 
 the last remains of it were squandered amidst the 
 tears, and in spite of the lender and earnest ex- 
 postulations of a suffering family. And nov/, if I 
 should look for that once rejoicing and apparently- 
 fortunate bride, I should go to an obscure cabin 
 of wretchedness, and should find her laboring 
 with h«r own hands, to provide bread for her more 
 than orphan children, and she would tell me a 
 tale of wo, which, however familiar to me, would 
 make me sit down and weep. TKis same man, 
 who has plunged her and her little ones into so 
 much wretchedness, possesses many naturally 
 amiable qualities, and is gifted with enviable pow- 
 ers of mind, but, unhappily, in early life, he be- 
 came a spendthrift: and on this rock the fortunes 
 of himself and of his family were wrecked. If 
 you should ever give yourself to a man of similar 
 character, you need not be disappointed if you 
 should experience a similar destiny."* 
 
 * Daughter's Own Book 
 
MARKIAQK. 3^ 
 
 Never marry an inlempe.rate mnn. This is a 
 precaution that young ladies cannot be toa care- 
 ful to observe. How many, by noglecling this 
 admonition, have been plunged info the deepest 
 misery ! Of all the evils that alHict the marriage 
 state, iriteiu} erance stands in the front rank. It 
 transforms the kind and loving husband into a 
 savage brute — the tender and affectionate father 
 into an unfeeling tyrant. Oh ! how much evil, 
 how raufch cfark, cruel wretchedness;, has been car- 
 ried into the happiest fatnily circles by intemper- 
 ance! It has cast the miiciew of despair upon 
 the fairest, brightest Iiones of life ! It has caused 
 shivering poverty to creep in, with its rags, its 
 hunger, and want, where formerly all was plenty, 
 comfort, and peace. What must be the Avreiched- 
 ness of that family where tlie cheek of the v/ife 
 p;iies with fear, and the children flee from the 
 house, or cling tremblingly to the mother for pro- 
 tection, when the inebriated husband and father 
 reels toward his miserable home ! In the phrensy 
 of intoxication, he beats his defenceless and heart- 
 broken companion, tramples upon his innocent 
 offspring, and dcnolihes vfhatever is valuable 
 within his reach, unmindful alike of tears, and en- 
 treaties, and supplications. If there is any thing 
 that can approacli the character of the fabled de- 
 mon, it is man in th.e wild paroxysms of drunk- 
 enness! 
 
 Young woman, I beg yon, listen to me I As 
 you vahie your peace and happiness — as you val- 
 
3S8 MAuniAGE. 
 
 ue respectul>iliiy and good standing in commu- 
 nity — form a firm, uneiiaceable determination, in 
 the deep rece«iscs of your soul, never, never lo 
 become the companion of a man given to intem- 
 perance ! Yea, I beseech you to go slill farther, 
 and firmly resolve not to marry a man who is 
 accustomed, habitually, to drink intoxicating li- 
 quors as a beverage, of any character, or however 
 temperately or discreetly ! The great danger is, 
 you have no assurance, and can have none, that 
 he who drinks moderately now, will not hereafter 
 become involved in the deepest abyss of intem- 
 perance. He is travelling the very way, and the 
 only way, that leads to it — the way which all in- 
 temperate men pursued in their downward career. 
 In what possible manner (except by total abstin- 
 ence) can you become satisfied that he will not, 
 ere long, be one among their wretched number ! 
 You should not accept, nor give any countenance 
 to the addresses of a ^'drinking" young man. 
 Even after you have become " engaged," if you 
 ascertain that your intended companion is given 
 to habits o{ intemperance, you would be justified 
 by every equitable law, human and divine, in im- 
 mediately dissolving the engagement. But I can 
 not enlarge upon this important topic. Young 
 ladies of good sense must perceive that their 
 safety and happiness demand that they should 
 avoid all connexion with men of intemperate hab- 
 its. Better, infinitely better, remain in '-single 
 blessedness" all your days, than to place yourself 
 
MA.RRIAC5E. 889 
 
 !jj a oondition to l>o made wretched by a drunken 
 husband ! 
 
 I think it not improper or unnecessary, that 
 young ladies should take into consideration the 
 health of those who would become united to 
 them. I know of no good reason why a young 
 woman should be (.-oimected with a man who, 
 from constitutional causes, is or probably soon 
 will be incapacitated to superintend a family. 
 You should endeavor to exercise proper precau- 
 tion upon thi^ point. It is true, all are liable to 
 di-^ease, and itr, unhappy consequences ; and all 
 I would caution you respecting this subject, is, to 
 act prudently in regard to placing your affections 
 ♦jpon an individual who is laboring under a con- 
 stitulionai and incurable disease, which would 
 probably be transmitted to his offspring.* 
 
 In selecting a husband, you should not be too 
 fastidious in regard to his personal beauty, his oc- 
 cupation, or the amount of his property. These 
 are unimportant circumstances, provided ail other 
 qualifications abound. He may be plain in per- 
 son, yet beautitui in moral and mental accom- 
 plishments. He may be poor in property yet 
 rich in affection, kindness, and all those social 
 qualifications that minister so highly to domestic 
 happiness — and as to the want of property, it is 
 an evil that can, in general, soon be removed by 
 industry and economy. His occupBtfon may be 
 
 * Sec Corjh&B Conftitutioii of Man. 
 33* 
 
390 MANHIAGC. 
 
 of a common order, but if it is proper and useful, 
 it will not lessen your respect in the eyes of the 
 enlightened and discreet. 
 
 While there are many qualifications that would 
 be pleasing in a husband, there are some indis- 
 pensably requisite. He should be engaged in 
 some laudable occupation or profession — he 
 should be industrious, economical, honest — of 
 good habits, of a kind and benevolent disposition, 
 strictly moral and temperate, and should also 
 possess an unwavering belief in the doctrines 
 and precepts of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. He 
 who is destitute of any of those qualifications, 
 should be avoided. But with a young man who 
 possesses these characteristics, you may rational- 
 ly anticipate a happy union, and a life of as much 
 enjoyment as is usually allotted to mortals in 
 this mutable world. 
 
 This "Voice to the Young" now ceases. It 
 its tones have, in any degree, enlightened the 
 minds of my readers, or infused a virtuous influ- 
 ence into their hearts, or opened their eyes to 
 dangers that surround them, the object for which 
 is has been sounded, is accomplished. 
 
APPENDIX 
 
THE AMUSEMENTS OF YOUTH. 
 
 BY A. B. GROSH. 
 
 " Be not righteous overmuch ; neither make thyself 
 overwise; why shouldstlhou destroy thyself?" 
 
 EccLESiASTES vii : 16. 
 
 Dr. Gerard, one of the best Biblical critics of 
 the age, informs us that the word here rendered 
 *• righteous," is derived from an Arabic word sig- 
 nifying to be stiff, inflexible, inflexibly straight. — 
 Hence it is used in a secondary or metaphorical 
 sense, to denote being just or true — and this is a 
 very common use of the term in the Hebrew. But 
 such, he informs us, is not the sense in our text — 
 here it has the primitive meaning. Our transla- 
 tors erred, probably in supposing the 16th and 17th 
 verses to be antitheses — whereas they are parallel- 
 isms, as is evident by the same conclusion in each. 
 Hence *' too rigid" or "inflexible over-much," in 
 the 16th verse, is equivalent to " over-much wick- 
 ed" in the 17th verse ; and " over-wise," or wise 
 in your own conceit, as is the meaning of the term, 
 in the 16th, is equivalent to " folly" in the 17th 
 verse. The consequences in both verses are the 
 same — in the 16th verse " destruction ;" in the 
 17th, " untimely death." It forms, in fact, a dou- 
 ble parallelism, where, though the sense is twice 
 repeated, yet the language is each time varied, and 
 
 393 
 
304 AMUShMl.NTS <ir YoLTlI- 
 
 ihe ronsf(]ucncos aro the satne — " 15'' not over- 
 much rigiil ; ueitlier ronder rliysolf :i^ one m i<e in 
 Ins own conceit; wliy slioiiMst thou destroy thy- 
 self? Be mt oveiinuch wicked, or obstinate ; 
 neither be thou foolish ; why shouldst thou die be- 
 fore thy time ?" 
 
 In this view, how full of v/isdoni is our text — and 
 how applicable is it to the subject before us, the 
 amusements of Youth ! Our text points out to you, 
 in the voice of experience and wisdom, that happy 
 medium path, wherein are combined pleasure and 
 usefulness — and where while life may be prolong- 
 ed, it ma}' also be Irul}' enjo3'ed. Be not too rigid, 
 neither be over wise — be not too wicked, neither 
 be foolish — both are injurious to, and destructive of 
 health, and life, and enjo\'ment — both arc opposed 
 lothe wisdom of mankind, and the teachings of na- 
 ture. Ascetic gravity and puritanic severity are 
 frequently the regulators of 3'our amusements — 
 made so by those who profess an especial regard 
 for your spiritual welfare, t know it — and I know, 
 also that their higlt-toned, unnatural, yet well- 
 meaning endeavors may have made 3'cu jealous 
 of clerical advice and "instruction on the subject — 
 and perhaps, regardless of, or at least prejudiced 
 against all restraint which may be recommended 
 from that quarter. But let me rend away the veil 
 of your prejudices from before 3'our mental vision, 
 that your reason with clear unclouded siglif, may 
 examine what I have to offer for your consideration. 
 With you I freel}' condemn the severe and gloomy 
 interference — I consider it wrong and injurious. 
 
 ] . Becau33 opposed to the requirement? of nature. 
 There are always some parts of the physical frame 
 in motion — action of some kind, always denotes in 
 them the presence of Vik, while life continues to 
 animate the body. So, in nil probability there are, 
 facultip.'=:of the mind which never totailv cense their 
 
AMaSEMfc;NT3 OF YOUTH. 39j 
 
 operation short of death, even if then. Hence it 
 has been said that rest is merely a change of ac- 
 tion. When one portion of the muscles liave been 
 long exerted, they may be relieved by exerting an- 
 other portion. And this change of exertion is call- 
 ed rett. With equal propriety we may say, that 
 amusements are merely a change of employments, 
 \vhen one portion or faculty of the mind has been 
 long exerted, the mental powers may be rested by 
 calling another faculty to the labor of thought or 
 exercise. This will afford what we term amuse- 
 ment of the mind. Without amusement, the mind 
 must as certainly fall into apathy and ruin, as the 
 body must sink weakened and ruined under inces- 
 sant labor and fatigue. 
 
 2. I consider undue restraint and severity, wrong, 
 because it has driven youth from before the guar- 
 dian eye of parents and instructors, to the secret 
 assignation for sport, and there left it to itsown hasty 
 and unguarded impulses and suggestions. Nature 
 will have its way— it can no more be restrained in 
 playful youth, than in the descending rivulets that 
 roll th2ir crystal currents from the hills. Debar it 
 from innocent amusements in the presence of the 
 aged, and, most probably, you drive it to criminal 
 excesses as soon as the parental eye is withdrawn 
 from it. 
 
 3. I condemn excessive rigidity, because it wea- 
 kens the affection of youth for parents — their re- 
 spect for age, and their veneration for religion. De- 
 barred from all the amusements which the impulses 
 of nature demand, they fret against the parental 
 government— consider it cold andunfeeling-^want- 
 ing in affection towards them, and seeking rather 
 their obedience to dull precepts and a dry morality, 
 than their happiness and love. It becomes un- 
 lovely in their sight, aad is their a^^ersion rather 
 ih&n their joy. 
 
396 AMUSEMENTS OF YOUTH. 
 
 And as with the paternal, so with the divine go- 
 vernment. Believing, as they are taught, that God 
 and his religion, virtue and its morality, all com- 
 bine in forbidding what gives them so much plea- 
 sure and joy — bow can they love either ? — how 
 consider either otherwise than as opposed to human 
 felicity ? Even heaven itself — the name for all 
 the purity and peace, the holiness and happiness 
 which the mind of man can possibly conceive — 
 even heaven is thus early impressed on the mind as 
 a large, spacious, and splendid place, filled with a 
 cold light and a chilling atmosphere, where people 
 will look gloomily happy, and sighingly blest, and 
 spend eternhy in singing dull, slow music, with 
 long faces and up-turned eyes. Ridiculous as the 
 picture may seem, I believe you all have felt the 
 truth of its coloring in your own minds, and have 
 almost shuddered in dread, as you wished that, ul- 
 timately, that happy place, (happy only because 
 hell was not there) might be your everlasting 
 home ! 
 
 Believing such to be the effects of being "right- 
 eous over-much" in regard to your amusements, I 
 can do no less than oppose sach undue and injurious 
 severity. But, my youthful brethren and sisters, 
 there Ts another extreme to which in many cases, 
 this one hath driven many, and which I feel 
 equally bound to censure and oppose. I heartily 
 unite, not only with the puritanic and pharisaic, 
 but with every lover of man — every admirer of in- 
 nocence and virtue, and every friend to youth, its 
 pleasures and enjoyments — in condemning every 
 pleasure, so called, which is injurious to your 
 morality and usefulness. "Be not inflexible over- 
 much ; neither make yourself over-wise ; why 
 shouldst thou destroy thyself?" 
 
 Do not, then, I beseech you — do not, by your 
 Uiseipation and excess, bind in shame and grief th« 
 
AMUSEMENTS OF YOUTH. 397 
 
 advocates for youthful amusements, and give the 
 triumph to your ascetic and puritanic opposers. — 
 You will find this extreme very pernicious to health 
 and happiness — to individual enjoyment and the 
 general welfare. You will find all amusements 
 which mend not the heart nor store the mind — 
 which improve not the temper nor invigorate the 
 frame — the worst foes that can beset you through 
 life — foes to industry and order, health, wealth, and 
 genuine happiness. They predispose your tastes 
 and inclinations to idleness, dissipation, and intem- 
 perance of every kind; and, even if you can avoid 
 these results, they enervate the mind, and vitiate 
 the aftections, and most generall3'' enfeeble the bo- 
 dily powers. And, lastly, by indulgence in these — 
 by the crime and misery of which they have been 
 the fruitful cause — the sternly virluous have been 
 led to condemn, with indiscriminate severity, all 
 amusements and recreations. Thus, by abusing 
 what they had, the youth have lost all — thus the 
 harmless has been banished with the injurious and 
 thus have the innocent frequently suffered for the 
 misdeeds of the guiky, and future generations for 
 the indiscretions of their forefathers. 
 
 Having by these general remarks and exceptions, 
 paved the way for a proper understanding of my 
 meaning, wiih regard to the particular portions of 
 my subject, I design, 
 
 I. To consider the projmety of, and offer a few 
 remarks on, amusements for your imvaie hours. — 
 Though man is evidently a social and a dependent 
 being, yet there are times when company is not to 
 be procured or desired, and when, consequently, 
 man must depend on his own resources and pow- 
 ers. A mind well stored with knowledge of a gen- 
 eral and varied cast, and well habituated to thought, 
 is a main requisite in such situations ; not perhaps 
 as amusement in itself, but as a relish to all other 
 34 
 
308 AMUSEMENTS 01- YOUTH. 
 
 amusements. You will remember that I consider 
 amusement merely as a chauge of employments — 
 not any change, but a judicious and pleasing 
 change — and, conse(juently, I can not so well si)e- 
 cify, as lay down a few general rules to guide you 
 in your own selection of them. 
 
 As the avocaiifms oi men vary, thuir private 
 amusements should generally vary also. Their 
 recreations especially, and all their amusements 
 referable to health, should be of a nature material- 
 ly different from the labors wliieh preceded, and 
 which are to succeed them — otherwise they will 
 be but a continuation, rather ilian a relaxation of 
 their toil. But, at the same time, they should not 
 differ so widely as to render a recurrence to labor 
 either unpleasant or diflicult. I will illustrate by 
 an example. The student, weary with much stu- 
 dy at his desk — or the painter at his easel — will 
 find a stroll into the opon air, and reflections on the 
 beauties of nature, the most agreeable, refreshing, 
 and useful amusements. While it relaxes the 
 mind from past labors, i; also very pleasantly pre- 
 pares its powers for a renewal of them. During a 
 long course of composition with the pen, reading a 
 lively and appropriate author, will, in like manner, 
 be found pleasing and useful, so far as the mind 
 alone is concerned. And so, vice versa. 
 
 Your amusements, also, when a feeble constitu- 
 tion, or delicate health indicates the propriety of 
 the measure, should be selected with a reference to 
 bodily health, as well as mental relaxation. Se- 
 dentary labors require to be followed by amuse- 
 ments involving considerable bodily exercise. On 
 the other hand, those engaged in laborious and ac- 
 tive" employments, recjuire more easy and quiet 
 amusements for their leisure hours. If the student, 
 pale-faced with watching and thought — and the 
 hard son of toil, embrowned beneath a Summer 
 
AMUSEMENTS OF YOUTH. 
 
 969 
 
 sun, could agree occasionally to exchange avoca- 
 tions, both might be gainers by it — the one might 
 labor, and the other study, and find not only plea- 
 sure but health, by converting labor into amuse- 
 ment. If authority be wanting in favor of this re- 
 commendation, I give vou not only the name of 
 the humcme and gifted Ru.sh, but of every medical 
 man whose opinions I have ever read on the sub- 
 ject. The excellent works of Dr. A. Combe on 
 Health and Education, and of George Combe, Esq., 
 on the Constitution of Man, will furnish much val- 
 uable instruction on these subjects. To these 
 might be added Dr. Caldwell on Physical Educa- 
 tion, and Dr. Brigham on the Influence of Mental 
 Excitementand Mental Cultivation on the Health — 
 all very excellent works, and v/ell worth their 
 weight in gold. Combine, then, if 3^ou value plea- 
 sure and health — combine your amusements with 
 your labors, so that what you lose by the one, you 
 can gain in the pursuit of the other — thus convert- 
 ing toil into amusement, and making amusement 
 useful. 
 
 For those brief intervals of leisure, which so fre- 
 quently occur in domestic life — particularly female 
 domestic life — and when the elements without 
 confine you to the house, there is another class of 
 amusements. Poetry, music, light reading, and a 
 thousand nameless little domestic matters of inge- 
 nuity and usefulness, are embraced in this class of 
 emplo^anents. All of these rightly used, will ele- 
 vate the mind and affections, purify ^the heart, and 
 fill the soul with generous enthusiasm, while they 
 store the memory with a richness of thought and 
 language, which will render interesting to others 
 every communication you may make. Music, 
 vocal music in particular, is a healthful exercise 
 for the lungs, and is highly recommended by medi- 
 cal men as an amusement for those predisposed. 
 
400 AMUSEMENTS OF YOUTH. 
 
 by constitution or employments, to pulmonary 
 complaints. Nearly all our females are embra- 
 ced in iliis class. You will not, lliorefore, deem 
 me out of character in pressiuir it and reading 
 aloud, a similarly healthful employment, on your 
 attention — })articularly as the former is so pleasing, 
 I bad almost said necessary a part of social worship. 
 The eflects of music on the mind and ailections, 
 can only be duly aj)preeiated by those who have 
 had the gloom of life dissipated by it, and the de- 
 sponding soul converted into a temple of melody 
 and peace, under its cheering and softening power. 
 I would urge on you, then, the cultivation of all the 
 musical talent you possess, so far as you can do it 
 without neglecting your duties to others ; assuring 
 you that it will unfold to you new sources of beauty 
 in every department of nature. For 
 
 "There's music in the forest loaves! 
 When Summer winds arc there." 
 
 ***** 
 " The first wild bird that drinks the dew, 
 From violets of the Spring, 
 Hath music in his soug, and in 
 The Jluitering ofldsw'iag." 
 
 " Yop, ail I've dreamed of, bright and fair, 
 
 Is but embodied sound ; 
 Music is floating ou the air, 
 In every thing around. 
 All nature hath of breezy grace, 
 In motion swift and free — 
 Each lovely hue upon her face, 
 Is LIVING melody." 
 
 Can it be possible that your leisure hours will be 
 destitute of happiness and interest, if your com- 
 munings are filled up with the light, and your souls 
 overflowed with the spirit of music that imbued the 
 hearts which gushed with the melody of the senti- 
 ment I have just recited ? 
 
AMUSEMENTS OF YOUTH. 401 
 
 You will observe, that though I allow hours bj^ 
 Jiours for agreeable, and innocent, and useful 
 .amusements intermingled with your toils, priva- 
 .tions, and labors, yet I do not willingly admit in 
 <the list of life, one minute of idleness. No, my 
 young friends, Ltoo deeply have felt its rust gnaw 
 into my own soul, and canker my own peace, ever 
 to wish others to indulge in it. Pv-ely on it, that ac- 
 tivity of mind and body — ever varying employment 
 and exercise — is the best amusement of life — the 
 best panacea for the ills that flesh is heir to — the 
 best preparative for usefnlness, and the only true 
 source of happiness as puie as man can enjoy. 
 Nearly all of these foregoing remarks, though ap- 
 plied now to private and individual amusements 
 only, will nevertheless apply with nearly equal 
 propriety and force to 
 
 II. Social and puhlic amusements and recrea- 
 tions. — These, from their very nature, can not be 
 exclusive or selfish, but should be indulged in for 
 the sole purpose of enjoying your.'<elves, by promo- 
 ting the pleasure of others. You will find them 
 requiring the best powers of the mind, and the 
 -best feelings of the heart — for it is no easy matter 
 to render them what they should be, unless you 
 characterize them, in a good degree, by intelligence 
 .and affection. And as a loverof human happiness, 
 I rejoice to witness the increasing intellectuality 
 and refinement of amusements generally — to see 
 childish puerility, and foppish display, and empty 
 form, give place to solid amusement, useful recrea- 
 tion, heartfelt comfort, affection and courtesy. — 
 Even the plays for childjen are becoming rife with 
 instruction, and are preparing them for futur^e use- 
 fulness, by storing the mind with pleasing informa- 
 tion. How important, then, that you maintain 
 your dignity, by a corresponding advancement in 
 your pleasures and employments. Public opinion. 
 34* 
 
402 AMUSEMENTS OP YOUTH. 
 
 generally, now unites with the intelligent mind, the 
 uncorrupted heart, and the pure taste, in condemn- 
 ing as criminal dissipation, a waste of time in public 
 amusements and social recreations. If, (hen, you 
 would not only retain the approbation of your own 
 conscience, but also gain ibat of public opinion, in- 
 dulge not in amusements merely to 2)ass away time 
 but to improve it by diflusing happiness, and thus 
 store the future with agreeable reflections. Neither 
 make them a business, but a relaxation from the 
 business of life — for in this alone consists all their 
 value, and all their enjoyment. 
 
 The ]nan or woman who seeks happiness in a 
 continual round of amusements, and expects enjoy- 
 ment in a crowd, will find that they have widely 
 erred from their own peace, and mistaken the ob- 
 jects and effects of relaxation. " Too much honey 
 is gall," says the old proverb — and "the full soul 
 loatheth an honey-cornb," is the testimony of Holy 
 Writ — and such will find that too much pleasure 
 (so called) is a weariness greater than toil, and that 
 long continued recreation is the severest drudgery. 
 But the effectsdo not end here. The natural con- 
 sequence of dissipation of even/ hind, is to create 
 in the minds of its votaries, a dislike to business, a 
 distaste for study, and a disrelish for privacy, which 
 prevents a recurrence to former pleasing habits, 
 and renders them embittered, wretched, and useless 
 members of society. Thus fixed in the heart, the 
 ever rankling barb drives them from pleasure to 
 pleasure, in a vain pursuit — for they cavry with them 
 the destroyer of their own peace, wherever they go. 
 A few brief arguments will be sufficient to satisfy 
 you that such a result is the necessary consequence 
 of an excessive indulgence in amusements. 
 
 First : As to your capacity to ©njoy. Man is 
 but a very limited being in all his powers and fa- 
 culties. His capacity is soon and easily filled. 
 
AMUSEMENTS OF YOUTH. 403 
 
 Satiety, then, as surely follows, as that appetite 
 will cease when the stomach is filled with suste- 
 nance. In vain does the epicure try dish after 
 dish — all the variety he can procure, administers no 
 pleasure to his sated appetite, for his capacity is 
 filled. So with amusements. The capacity is 
 soon filled — the novelty soon wears away — and va- 
 liety is sought in vain ; for happiness can be pro- 
 cured only by an abstinence which shall renew the 
 appetite necessary to their enjoyment. 
 
 Second : Your powers of pleasing are but limit- 
 ed, in common with all oar race. Take the most 
 witty, entertaining, and well-informed person in 
 the circle of your acquaintance, and put him to the 
 task of amusing a company, and a very few hours 
 will convince 3^ou that even he, a master of the art, 
 is failing in his exertions, and becoming exhausted 
 with his labors. And can you expect long to suc- 
 ceed with your very limited powers, where he, 
 with his capacious ones, has failed ? If you can, 
 you can expect impossibilities. Have you never 
 seen a company thus situated — their powers ex- 
 hausted, and their capacities filled — sated with 
 amusement, and their abilities wearied ? Can you 
 imagine a more hopeless task than to amuse or be 
 amused in their circle? As a general infallible 
 rule, then, and as you would have amusements and 
 recreations minister to your enjoyment, never seek 
 them until labor, mental or bodily, has rendered 
 them necessary to you. In this way, only, can 
 they be rendered beneficial or pleasant to you. 
 Then, if you would have them continue pleasant, 
 and to answer their object in preparing you for suc- 
 ceeding labors, never continue at them after you 
 have been fully refreshed by them, and feel them 
 begin to pall on your sense of enjoyment. As of the 
 pleasure of the taste, so would I say of the amuse- 
 ments and pleasures — labor is necessary to enable 
 
401 AMUSEMENTS OF VOUTII. 
 
 »is to relisli them ; modoration, to use tliem, and 
 ■lempcraiK'c, lo friily enjoy them. 
 
 Before I quit tlie subject of social recreat-ions nnd 
 public amusements, permit me to raise a warnins; 
 voice against the pernicious tendency of some, ex- 
 ■cessive indulgence in many, and the abuse of 
 •others. Those which are dangerous in their ten- 
 dency, by familiarizing your minds to the scenes 
 and instruments of vice and villainy, as games of 
 hazard in general, you had better shun altogether. 
 Those which are apt to l^e rendered injurious by an 
 immoderate indulgence in them, had better be 
 avoided, until a course of self-deninl shall have 
 given energy lo the will, and strength to the reso- 
 lution, when they may be indulged in with safety, 
 within the proper and determinate boundaries. 
 
 To illustrate. In very early youth your speaker 
 became fond of reading. Undirected how and 
 Nvhat to choose, I eagerly read every thing that 
 •€ame Into my hands. In a short time, indulgence 
 <3eclded my taste for reading legends, novels, and 
 fictitious narratives of every kind. My love of 
 reading increased to a perfect passion, and often 
 rendered me deaf, blind, and dumb to all around 
 me. It became necessary for my parents to inter- 
 fere. After reading a novel or tale half through, 
 and becoming passionately interested in. its details, 
 yny father would take it from me, and prevent my 
 reading it, in some cases, for mrmths. I was made 
 sensible of his kindness, and of the propriety of his 
 conduct, and after a short time acquired sufficient 
 resolution to practice liis system on myself- Two 
 very interesting works that I then read half through, 
 T never yet have finished — and never since then, 
 has my resolution faltered when it became neces- 
 sary to lay aside an interesting book. 
 
 Trifling as this incident may appear to you, it 
 has been important to me, and I would that I had 
 
AMUSEMENTS OF YOUTH. 405 
 
 been wise enough to have profited by it in other 
 practices than reading. May it teach you the be- 
 nefits of restraining your immoderate desires t'or 
 amusement, and lead you early to discipline your 
 resolutions to fortitude and perseverance. As read- 
 ing may thus be perverted from a benefit to an in- 
 jury, so may many other amusements and recrea- 
 tions. Make, then, necessity the rule for applying 
 to them for relaxation — and henejit, not merely 
 pleasure or desire, the ride for prolonging ihe dura- 
 tion of the enjoyments they may yield. 
 
 III. Let us now consider the temper and dispo- 
 sition which, only, can make all your atunsements 
 2')leasant and useful. In the great flow of animal 
 spirits and generousenthusiasm which social amuse- 
 ments naturally excite, you will find an ungoverna- 
 ble and uncontrollable temper the most fruitful 
 source of destruction to all peace and enjoyment, 
 in yourself and others. If sympathy, that mental 
 electricity of intelligent creation, can render us mise- 
 rable in others' miseries, and happy in their joys, 
 then the surest way of being pleased ourselves, is 
 to please others. To govern and control your en- 
 thusiasm, and keep the temper regulated by it 
 within proper bounds, remember this infallible rule 
 for enjoyment. Enter into the social circle with a 
 determination to increase and promote its enjoy- 
 ments, even at the expense of your own ease, and 
 the sacrifice of your own desires. 
 
 Reflect that the mode of innocent enjoyment can 
 not be a matter of importance — that any difference 
 of opinion on the subject, must appear very trifling, 
 if not ridiculous, in a few weeks or months after it 
 occurs — and that it is not only foolish, but idc'kcd to 
 destroy your own and others' peace merely to es- 
 tablish your superior wisdom in trifles. Besides, 
 others will contend for their opinions and plans, 
 also — words will grow into strife, strife to wrath, 
 
4<)6 AMUSEMENTS OF YOUTH. 
 
 and wrath to tlestruction. We can not be happy 
 and displeased at the same time — we can not har- 
 bor ])eace and wrath in the same bosom — as well 
 might we aitemi)t to serve both God and mammon 
 in e(jual sincerity and truth. And can you hesitate 
 as to which you will choose ? No ! Enter into all 
 amusements with a determination to please, and 
 tlius to be pleased — make your temper pliant as 
 the waving willow, which, by yielding before the 
 opposing winds, saves itself from loss of verdure 
 and destruction, and rises again in majesty when 
 the wrath of the storm has passed over it. 
 
 " The wildest ills that darken life, 
 
 Are rapture to the bosom's strife ; 
 
 The tempest in its blackest form, 
 
 Is beauty to the bosom's storm ; 
 
 The ocean lashed to fury loud, 
 
 Its high wave mingling with the cloud, 
 
 Is peaceful, sweet serenity 
 
 To anger's dark and stormy sea." 
 
 For your own sakes, then, as well as for the sake 
 of all associated with you, permit me to urge on 
 your attention the cultivation of humility tempered 
 with dignity, and the courtesy arising from affec- 
 tion ; you will ever find it the best preparation to 
 impart pleasure to others, and receive it fiom them 
 again, in return. Pride and discourtesy mark the 
 selfish man — and the cold and selfish man can not 
 be happy. Besides, the religion 3^ou profess is not 
 a religion of gloom and haughtiness — of discomfort 
 and sadness — of exclusion and partiality. Why, 
 then, should your amusements be such — why 
 should your lives bear such impress? Let, then, 
 all your amusements be characterized by freedom 
 and innocence — let them be joyous amid propriety 
 — let them be but minor instruments for promoting 
 your usefulness and happiness, and let them em- 
 brace, not only your own pleasure and benefit, but 
 
AMUSEMENTS OF YOUTH. 407 
 
 that of all within the circle of your affections and 
 influence. And may that great and good Father 
 of our spirits, who has wisely blessed you with 
 abilities to labor in the great held of human virtue 
 and improvement, and implanted in your tender 
 frames the upspringing impulses that lead you to 
 alternate labor and rest — toil and amusement — 
 keep your minds and your hearts pure, and crown 
 you with all the real pleasures of this life, and the 
 joys of immortality through Jesus Christ our Lord- 
 Amen. 
 
THE DUTIES OF yOUTH. 
 
 BY A. B. GROSH. 
 
 " My son, forget not my law, but let ihine heart keep 
 my comnsiandments : for length of days, and long life, 
 and peace shall they add unto thee." 
 
 Proverbs iii : 1,2. 
 
 Youth lias been compared to Spring. Both 
 have very appropriately been termed the season of 
 hope. And v/hat beautiful emblems are they both 
 of this animating and cheering atmosphere of the 
 soul ! How excellently is hope i)ictured to the 
 eye- — personified and materialized — made living 
 and visible by the freshness, hilarity, and exulting 
 joyousness of youth; b}'' the budding glories, and 
 flowery fragrance, and springing verdure of Spring ! 
 
 But if Spring give not her blossoms, Summer 
 will be shorn of its glory, and Autumn deprived of 
 its fruit — if the golden seed be not sown — if the 
 germ appear not above the earth in tlie infancy of 
 the year, where shall the husbandman seek his 
 stores of provision against wintry cold and hungry 
 want? So, if youth jnakes no improvement, ma- 
 lurer age will be overladen in work, or barren in 
 intellect and utility, and old age will lack respect, 
 or be drear in ha})piness. 
 
 Among the many considerations which press on 
 the mind in such reflections, permit me to urge on 
 your attention, 
 
 I. The importance of acquiring correct moral 
 aiid religious jninciples. 
 
DUTIES OF YOUTH. 409 
 
 These exert not only a powerful, but an abiding 
 influence on our affections and understandings, and 
 through them, on all our thoughts and actions. 
 
 Morality and religion — I mean the pure religion 
 of the Gospel of Jesus — are so closely and intimate- 
 ly allied, that I would say of them as of the hus- 
 band and wife, "What God hath joined together, 
 let not man put asunder." He who separates 
 them, takes from religion its body — its sensible man- 
 ifestation to the sons of humanity — and robs morality 
 of its soul — the living spirit and active principle of 
 its goodness and virtue — sunders soul and bod}^ and 
 deprives both of an earthly existence, habitation, 
 and name. This will be more apparent when we 
 consider the natural effects of both on man in the 
 individual and social state. 
 
 Sweeping the illimitable universe with the 
 wings of thought — collecting in one focus all that is 
 wonderful, and great, and good in the knowledge 
 and experience of man, and recognizing therein the 
 still greater and more glorious God, their author 
 and giver — how can it be that religion will not lib- 
 erate and expand, exercise and invigorate all our 
 faculties of thought and powers of action. And 
 embracing, as it does, the highest, and greatest, and 
 best Being in that universe — the fountain of all in- 
 telligence and the chief good of all goodness — as the 
 object and end of all contemplation, adoration, and 
 love — how must it swell the affections with trans- 
 port, and fill the heart with virtue ! 
 
 And mark, also, its wonderful adaptation to the 
 capacities for which it is designed. The child and 
 the adult, the prince and the peasant, the philoso- 
 pher and the unlearned, all alike may here find 
 food for reflection, motives to goodness, and reasons 
 for equal praise, gratitude, and love. And thus, 
 not only does the understanding expand into an in- 
 finitude of loveliness, utility, and happiness ; but 
 35 
 
410 DUTIES OF Youth. 
 
 under its oiunipotent swciy and benevolent energy, 
 the artcclions also become spiritualized, and each, 
 like a ministering angel, goes forth among the chil- 
 dren of men, bearing blessings of peace on its lips, 
 and shaking from its downy pinions the felicity of 
 heaven. 
 
 Do you not all admit that superior intelligence 
 combined with superior virtue, confers greater hap- 
 piness — that among the beatified myriads around 
 the throne of God, greater happiness prevails than 
 on earth, because there greater knowledge and su- 
 perior goodness obtains / Admit this, and admit 
 what, also, I think you will not deny, that religion 
 does expand and purify the understanding and the 
 heart, and you thereby admit religion to be a chief 
 good of life — the proper fountain of happiness — 
 whose effects on your hearts and understandings are 
 worth seeking after, because worth being possessed. 
 
 But I would not have you engage in the pursuit 
 of religion and morality for their effects on your- 
 selves alone, though even in an individual i)oint of 
 view, the motives are amply sufficient. By your 
 exertions and influence, these happy effects can be 
 made to pervade, and perhaps ultimately to revolu- 
 tionize the circle of society in which you move. 
 How few are there, even among the most brutal, 
 that will dare to utter an immodest expression 
 among the chaste, or a profane one among the rever- 
 ent, or get drunken among the sober. Even this 
 influence may you have, if you will but live your 
 principles of religion and morality, at all times and 
 in all places. So lovely is the sight, and so com- 
 manding the influence of virtue over the hearts of 
 even the depraved, that they will insensibly rever- 
 ence and conform to her dictates when she is person- 
 ified and made living and sensible before them in 
 your v/ords and actions. 
 
 All men would rather be virtuous than vicious — 1 
 
DUTIES OF YOUTH. 411 
 
 mean in the abstract. It is the seductive and false 
 doctrine that vice yields most happiness, that makes 
 men vicious, and hahit keeps them so. Your influ- 
 ence may break these habits ; j^our precepts, com- 
 bined with practice, may dissipate the ungodly de- 
 lusion that led them into vice, and thus will society 
 receive ncAv accessions of happiness, and your own 
 joys be proportionably increased. 
 
 But pursue a contrary course, (and a contrary 
 course I fear you ivill pursue, unless you have well 
 established moral and religious principles on which 
 to act, and by which to be guided,) and, ah, how 
 fatal must be -the inevitable result of your lives. — 
 Unstable, and shaken about by every wind of doc- 
 trine, yoiiT peace of mind and hopes of happiness 
 on earth — your expectation of immortal IdIIss in 
 heaven, and your enjoyment of God and his Gos- 
 pel, will be at the mercy of every brazen-browed 
 bigot and frenzied fanatic, until your reason is pros- 
 trated, or your mind enslaved forever. Your mo- 
 rality, based on worldly expediencj^ w-ill be shaken 
 by every temptation, and weakened by every trial, 
 until,cheated by the delusive expectations of worldly 
 cunning, the whole fabric will sink down on its 
 sandy foundation in irretrievable ruin, before the 
 allurements of expected gain, or fame, or pleasure! 
 Then, stripped of all that can make life desirable 
 and character respectable, you will regret, too late, 
 that instead of the specious covering, ^^ou had not 
 the substantial body of pure moral and religious 
 principle within. 
 
 Oh, then, I entreat 3'OU, my young brother and 
 sister, as you value not only wealth, lame, and ho- 
 nor, but as you value what is worth all these, and 
 what is often independent of all these, as you value 
 a good conscience, a good character, and a good life, 
 lay early, and lay deeply the moral and religious 
 principles which are to be the foundation of all your 
 
4r:2 DUTIES OF YOUTH. 
 
 actions. Be assured — always assured — that every 
 deviation from righl, is a deviation from hai)pine6S, 
 and as you would be lui])))y, do what is ri_c;ht. — 
 Rest assured that ever}- deviation from rectitude, 
 is a deviation from pure religion, and as you would 
 be happy, be religious. Let the perfections of 
 God, the example of Jesus, the doctrines and pre- 
 cepts of the Gospel, be the standard of your lives, 
 and you will — you must be at peace within, what- 
 ever wars may rage without. 
 
 And begin now. They err widely from duty and 
 happiness, who put off this duty to a late period in 
 life. As well might the mariner put oft' procuring 
 his charts, and quadrant, and compass, until he 
 had made several voyages across the broad Atlan- 
 tic, as for you to delay determining on fixed princi- 
 ples of action, until you shall have mingled much 
 with society. No — long before you embark in the 
 voj^age of active life, procure your chart and com- 
 pass — study the one, and learn how to use the other 
 while you yet are young and have leisure — while 
 you yet have friends who are interested in rectifying 
 your mistakes and directing your energies. Then, 
 and then only, will you be fully prepared to enter, 
 without great embarrassment or danger, on the du- 
 ties of life -which God's providence may allot 3'ou. 
 
 II. Under the second head of general duties, 
 permit me to press on your attention — The import- 
 ance of cultivating pleasing and useful mental and 
 bodily habits. 
 
 This subject naturally flows from the preceding 
 one. Here, as there, though the guardians of our 
 infancy may have done much for us, yet more re- 
 mains to be performed by ourselves. The}' are 
 fallible with all their superior knowledge, and in 
 many things you raav know your own minds and 
 constitutions, in despite of j-^our years, with a surer 
 ken than their observation — even that of experience. 
 
DUTIES OF VOUTH. AV^ 
 
 PuU then, their precepts into practice, supply the 
 deficiencies, and correct the errors of indulgence 
 into which their affection for you may have betrayed 
 them, and carry forward to perfection the capability 
 and susceptibility of your nature. 
 
 Your morality based on {lio golden rule of doing 
 to others as you would ha^.e them do to you under 
 like circumstances — of doing right from right mo- 
 tives, and in a right manner ; and your religion 
 consisting of love to God supremely, and to man 
 universally, you will naturally and easily be led to 
 cultivate and to cherish, by constant practice, cor- 
 rect habits of mind and of body. 
 
 AVhen it is remembered that many habits of the 
 body, and through it, of the mind, are formed even 
 in the months of infanc}^ ere the faculties of thought 
 perceptibly develope themselves to the parent's eye 
 and ear, I know you will agree v/ith me that this 
 work can not be commenced too early in life. And 
 when you look around you, and see even the hoary- 
 headecl abandon the habits of half a century by a 
 powerful effort of the mind, you will agree with 
 nie that it is never too late to subdue the resentful 
 passions and sinful propensities of our nature — to 
 break off evil habits by well-doing, and to graft on 
 the impulses of our constitutions, practices which 
 will bring forth the peaceful fruits of utility. 
 
 As long continuance in almost any course of life, 
 renders it easy and even desirable to us, so pru- 
 dence admonishes you to fix on those habits which 
 will be most useful to yourselves and others, relying 
 on the known justice of God, evinced in all nature, 
 that they will also become the most pleasing. 
 This accommodation of the mind and body to the 
 circumstances in which it may be placed, has 
 raised a serious query in the works of a distinguish- 
 ed novelist, against the strict eternity of hell tor- 
 ments! Certain it is, that it is full of hope to the 
 35* 
 
414 
 
 UUTIKS OF VOUTH. 
 
 reforming sinner and returning errorisf. InsteaiK 
 therefore, of murnniring at the lahor and i)ain if 
 may cost you to erathcate from your practice all 
 evil habits, reflect that better habits can become 
 just as firmly rooted as they, arid that when you 
 are confirmed in pleasant and useful practices, 
 your pleasure and ease will increase with their 
 continuance. Thus will your very discourage- 
 ments become incentives to perseverance, and as- 
 surances of abiding triumph. 
 
 Of the habits to be formed, I would gladly s])eak, 
 but my limits forbid particulars. It is also imne- 
 cessary. The precepts of Jesus and his apostles, 
 will abundantly direct you. Your own reason and 
 sound principles will teach you the rest; and the 
 universal experience and concurrent testimony of 
 the wise and good Avill tell you that all erroneous 
 practices must, in their very nature, produce mis- 
 ery and anguish. But of the many qualifications 
 for happiness, I would briefly name one or two. 
 
 1. Cheerfulness. Rest assured that Mr. Hume 
 did not value this habit (virtue it might be termed) 
 too highly, when he declared it worth c£400 per 
 annum. It enters into all the employments and 
 amusements of life, beguiling the first of its cares, 
 and conferring on the latter all its joys. Even af- 
 flictions are converted, by its resignation, into 
 healthful medicines, and harbingers of future bene- 
 fits. To establish it, cherish just conceptions of 
 God and his works ; a proper valuation of human 
 happiness and enjo^'ment; correct estimates of vir- 
 tue and its rewards ; a true consideration of the 
 uses and ultimate destruction of all natural and 
 moral evils ; a firm trust in the goodness of Provi- 
 dence, and an unwavering belief in the final holi- 
 ness and immortal happiness of all men. This 
 will be the foundation of cheerfulness. For its 
 
bUflES OF YOUTH. 415 
 
 superstructure, let your lite be one of active useful- 
 ness and virtue. 
 
 •2. Humility tempered with dignity. The first 
 will preserve you from pride, with its attendant 
 mortifications — the latter from meanness, and its 
 long catalogue of vices. Frequent reflections on 
 the perfections and attributes of God, the vastnees 
 of his works, and the inferiority of yourself, will 
 produce the former ; while a constantly cherished 
 sense of your relationship to Deity, and your man- 
 ifold obligations to him, will combine it with a pro- 
 per dignity. 
 
 3. Courtesy mingled with affection. The latter 
 will invariably produce the former, and what is 
 best, will produce it naturally. 
 
 If you would enjoy the entrancing delights of 
 heartfelt sympathy "to their fall extent— if you 
 would joy with those who rejoice, and mingle your 
 condolence with the sorrowful — if you would de- 
 rive happiness from all around you, and inspire all 
 with whom you associate, with the feelings that 
 happify and purify your own bosom, let your mind 
 distil in courtesy, and your heart flow forth in good 
 will to your fellow-men. Let your thoughts and 
 actions be well imbued with rightly directed kind- 
 ness and benevolence. To cukivate such feelings, 
 and render them habitual, accustom yourself to 
 consider all men as they are, the children of God— 
 the equal recipients of Heaven's bounties and 
 blessings, and the common inheritors of a common, 
 immortal, and blissful salvation. 
 
 I might proceed in my details, but these, with 
 the bodily habits of cleanliness, temperance, and 
 practices of healthful activity, are sufficient for the 
 present. These will tend to produce order and in- 
 dustry — and these latter, again, are the handmaids 
 of health, wealth, and happiness. 
 
 Cuhivate for your own sakes — for the sake of 
 
416 DUTIES OF YOUTH. 
 
 those intcresled in your wcllhre, and boiiml to yon 
 by no common ties ofaifecfion and Iricndsliij) — for 
 the sake of society in general, and the world at 
 large — cultivate the principles, and virtues, and 
 habits here and in the Gosi)el, pointed out for your 
 adoption, and let your lives be a living commentary 
 on the purity of the one, and your actions a practi- 
 cal exemplitication of the blessed effects of the 
 other. 
 
 III. In connection with tlie foregoing, let me 
 direct your attention io—the inqjortance of acquiring 
 useful knowledge. 
 
 I will not dwell on the utility, advantages, and 
 pleasures of superior knowlc^lge, when combined 
 with virtue. They are so apparent in others — so 
 felt in ourselves, by their possession or deficiency* 
 that it were unnecessary. 
 
 You are intended for social life — general know- 
 ledge is necessary to enable you to receive and 
 contribute your share of the common fund of use- 
 fulness and pleasure. You are intended for active 
 life — a particular knowledge likely to be needed in 
 the department to which you may be called, is 
 certainly necessary to enable you to sustain your- 
 self in it with profit and credit to yourself, and 
 usefulness to others. You are intended for a 
 life of hapj)iness — all the knowledge that can 
 aid in rendering you innocently agreeable to 
 others, and ha])py in yourself, is necessary to 
 enable you to enjoy it. You are intended for 
 a useful life — then, above all, if 3'ou would be 
 social, active, happy, and useful, cultivate that 
 knowledge which can be made useful, and rely on 
 it that your proper use of it will render it always a 
 .source of pleasure. Even if 3'ou are intended for a 
 life of leisure and ease — a circumstance Avhich sel- 
 dom happens I0 any one — do you expect to enjoy . 
 yourself like a vegetable or an oyster ? If you do. 
 
DUTIES OF YOUTH. 417 
 
 rely on it you will not enjoy their happiness and 
 comfort. Man is a thinking being. He is intend- 
 ed for action, both mental and bodily, and can not 
 be happ3^ without it. If you would enjoy a life of 
 leisure and ease, as you must have ample provision 
 for your physical wants, so you must also provide 
 for the wants of the mind, or comfort, and content- 
 ment, and happiness can nevpr — neverhe yours. 
 
 But how acquire knowledge 1 The world is a 
 market ; every thing may be bought if you will 
 but pay the price. Useful knowledge can easily 
 and readily be obtained, but you must pay the 
 price for it. That price is study — continual study, 
 and careful, close observatiom 
 
 It is not necessary to confine yourself incessantly 
 to a desk, or to read whole libraries of books ; that 
 may be study, or it jnay be mere writing and read- 
 ing ; it may yield you knowledge, or it may fill 
 your mind with a mere mass of useless rubbish 
 commonly called learning. It is the thinking 
 rather than the reading man, who gathers true 
 knowledge — it is the active rather than the seden- 
 tary man, who is useful to society and happy in his 
 life. If you can combine the two, well — if not, be 
 satisfied with the thinking and active life, rather 
 than the reading and sedentary. 
 
 Men are books — read them in every pursuit of 
 business, and turn to moral profit all you learn 
 from them, and by their actions. Nature is a 
 book — an ample, exhaustless volume — study it 
 carefully at all times ; at your daily labor, or in 
 your hours of ease and amusement, and carefully 
 compare all you learn with its unerring instruc- 
 tions. Every event of life, however trifling, teems 
 with useful knowledge. Carefully observe, and 
 diligently draw forth food for happy and useful re- 
 flection from its ample stores. 
 
 A caution here. When you look over the wide, 
 
418 DUTIES OF YOUTH. 
 
 illimitable ocean of knowledge, and review the very 
 little you yet have mastered of it, you will be apt to 
 sit down listless, faint, and discouraged at the reflec- 
 tion, that there is so much, it is useless to learn any. 
 But this is wrong. It will not do to be discouraged 
 on this account. The more there is to learn, the 
 more active you should be in acquiring your full 
 share of it. 
 
 It is with knowledge as with wealth. What 
 would you think of the merchant who, on review- 
 ing the stores of wealth in the world, and seeing 
 the impossibility of obtaining all, should sit down 
 discouraged, and cease acquiring any 7 Yet he 
 would act as wisely as the man or woman who is 
 discouraged in amassing knowledge, because they 
 can not learn every thing. 
 
 I have said knowledge was like wealth — it is 
 better. If I give you of my substance, I am so 
 much the poorer for it ; but you can acquire know- 
 ledge, and none be the more ignorant for 3^our ac- 
 quisitions. To the benevolent mind in pursuit of 
 knowledge, this is a pleasing reflection. 
 
 To pursue the comparison. You will absolutely 
 need but a small portion of the world's w^ealth, 
 compared with the whole, to render you comforta- 
 ble, useful, and happy, provided that portion be of 
 the right kind, and rightly employed. So, but a 
 small portion of true and proper knowledge, com- 
 pared with the mighty mass, is all you will abso- 
 lutely need to make you useful and happy, provid- 
 ed you use it judiciously. By prudent manage- 
 ment, a small capital of each can be made as 
 profitable as a large capital ill managed. But 
 some you must have — a sufficiency you slwuld 
 have — and a surplus, if a surplus can be obtained, 
 you may employ to your ow^n and others' benefit. 
 
 Another caution. Never think j'ou have learned 
 enough. Newton declared, that after a life spent 
 
DUTIES OF lOUTlI. 419 
 
 in tlie most intense study and important discoveries, 
 he was but as a traveller on the beach of the bound- 
 less ocean of knowledge, and all his acquisitions 
 consisted in a few pebbles which he had picked up. 
 The amiable and learned Dr. Rush once mildly 
 rebuked a young physician who was talking about 
 the period when he hcid finished his studies. " Fi- 
 nislied your studies!" said Dr. Rush — "why I 
 never expect to finish mine while I live." Let his 
 expectation, his example, his success in study, be 
 yours also. 
 
 This caution is necessary, as many are so 
 thoughtless as to suppose that any time will do to 
 commence the acquisition of knowledge, and so 
 put it off to a late period. Life is full of persons 
 who now lament this infatuation of their youth — 
 their idleness and procrastination. The memory, 
 judgment, and all the powers of the mind, are 
 most susceptible of improvement at an early age, 
 and therefore the longer delayed, the more difficult 
 will be the task. And if there be happiness in ac- 
 quiring knowledge, the sooner you acquire it the 
 better. Then, as it is never too late to commence, 
 so remember it can never be too early. Lay hold 
 on wisdom early. Never fear acquiring too much, 
 or finishing your studies too soon. As well might 
 you fear exhausting the happiness of heaven in the 
 first periods of the eternal ages ! Reflect, also, 
 that the present march of intellect is so rapid, that 
 if you suffer your talents and energies to stagnate, 
 you will find it difficult to overtake your fellows. 
 And how disagreeable is ignorance in the youth 
 who could have learned — who had opportunities of 
 acquiring knowledge — but who did not ? Have 
 you not felt it so with others? Beware, then, lest 
 others find it so with you ! 
 
 But be not over-hasty in avoiding this dreaded • 
 degradation. Too much haste will as surely de- 
 
4'^0 DUTIES OF YOUTH. 
 
 Ibat your efForts, as loo much leisure. Go patiently 
 and calmly to the work. Pursue it hy system and 
 with order. Diversity your employments suffi- 
 ciently to make them agreeable — tor disgust is the 
 bane of study. Contine yourself to each one suffi- 
 ciently to make it beneficial — for, in every busi- 
 ness, " the rolling stone will gather no moss." 
 
 In one year — yea, in one month — your private 
 hours of leisure spent in this manner, will astonish 
 even yourself with your progress. And as all the 
 powers of the mind increjise with culture, every 
 succeeding year will yield a rapid gain on the pre- 
 ceding one. And, remember, learning, alone, is 
 not knowledge— reading, alone, is not study — it re- 
 quires reflection, observation, and practical appli- 
 cation of what you acquire, to make your acquisi- 
 tions profitable to yourself, and their profits pro- 
 ductive of utility and happiness to others. 
 
 IV. Lastly, but not least, I would urge on you 
 the performance of all the duties you owe to parents^ 
 and those who stand in their stead toward you. 
 
 I have reserved this for the last and a separate 
 division, to which its importance well entitles it — 
 though it properly belongs to a previous division of 
 the discourse. 
 
 The instinctive love of the parents — that highest 
 assimilation of man to the Deity — will generally 
 prevent them from requiring too much from their 
 children. There can be but little danger, therefore, 
 of parental oppression. There is greater danger 
 that they will require too little. Youth is, hence, 
 required to exceed rather than come short of parental 
 requirements. You will find their partiality making 
 allowances too great, granting indulgences too nu- 
 merous, and giving you licenses too extended. How 
 wickedly ungrateful, then, in you to require greater 
 allowances, more indulgence, and further license ! 
 to refuse the wholesome and barely necessary 
 
DUTIES OF YOUTH. 421 
 
 obedience which is required from you by their love 
 for you ! And think you that the great Parent of all 
 will permit such unholy violations of his best repre- 
 sentatives' laws to go unpunished? No — his regard 
 forthe parental character — his love for the future ge- 
 nerations of men — his regard for the happiness of 
 even the disobedient child, will sooner or later draw 
 down the direct chastisements of his purifying laws ! 
 
 We are generally too regardless of parental ad- 
 vice and authority — too unmindful of their many 
 cares and labors in our behalf. Indeed we never 
 know, and scarcely ever pause to consider our 
 many obligations to them, imtil we take their place 
 by becoming parents in our turn. What but a pa- 
 rent's feelings could enable any one to watch over 
 the helpless hours of infancy ; to guard and pre- 
 serve us in our youthful wanderings; to bear with 
 our fretful impatience, our obtrusive activit}^ our 
 unthinking carelessness, and, worst of all, our heed- 
 less ingratitude and disregard of their fervent desires 
 for our own good ! 
 
 Oh, how like God's ov\?n boundless benevolence 
 is parental love! — how untiring — how unfading! 
 Yea, how it even increases in fervency and 
 strength, the more we abuse it, and how it follows 
 devotedly all our giddy wanderings from it and from 
 peace! Surely if God had permitted man to bow 
 down in adoration to any being inferior to himself, 
 it would have been to his best representative on 
 earth — a good parent, watching over the Avelfare, 
 •and providing for the happiness of a large and 
 wayward family of children. 
 
 Pay, then, unto your parents that reverence 
 which God does allow — that obedience which, for 
 your own good, he so imperatively enjoins in na- 
 ture, reason, and revelation. Let your parents' 
 greater experience in the ways of men — their bet- 
 ter foresight of the events of life — their superior ge- 
 
422 DUTIES OF YOUTH. 
 
 neral knowledge of your real wants and welfare, 
 inspire you with humility and resignation to their 
 provisions for, and cautions to you. They will, 
 doubtless, often perceive evils v/hcre you imagine 
 only pleasure and good. Consider, also, tlieir ear- 
 lier and unboughc affection to you — so like that of 
 our Maker in kind — and let it stir up all your fa- 
 culties to love them truly in return. And let their 
 many unmerited, and even unsolicited favors awa- 
 ken in you gratitude for their benefits, and obedi- 
 ence to the requirements of tlieir affecdonate au- 
 thority. 
 
 But suppose they err in their requirem.ents. 
 Well, what good can you expect by going counter 
 to their fixed and fervent desires ? Will not your 
 disobedience render them miserable ? and must 
 not their misery revert to yourself? for, can you 
 enjoy yourself in a course Avhich fills them with 
 torturing fears ? I speak not of their opposition to 
 duties expressly required ofyou by your consciences, 
 but of social and domestic matters — the subjects 
 naturally within the province of parents. Believe 
 me, you will never regret your obedience in such 
 cases, with half the poignancy that you would your 
 disobedience. Even after the laws of the land free 
 you from a parent's government, seek their advice, 
 and fulfil, so far as you can, their reasonable de- 
 sires, if you would enjoy happiness and respect. 
 
 Even allowing that your obedience to them 
 should not prove beneficial, you will have the con- 
 solation of knowing that you performed your duty, 
 and that you have gladdened their hearts, to con- 
 sole you under your disappointnaents. And long, 
 and often, after their aged forms have crumbled into 
 dust — when, in the busy scenes of life, a hush of 
 reflections' calmness comes across your souls, what 
 a consolation will be yours, to know that no duties 
 violated — no ingratitude manifested by you toward 
 
DUTIES OF YOUTH. 423 
 
 them, has ever made them know how sharper tlian 
 the sting of a serpent's venomous tooth it is, to have 
 a thankless child! 
 
 Oh, / would not — you would not — no one would 
 barter the joy of such reflections for aught a differ- 
 ent conduct could confer ! For what can rob your 
 conscience of the remorseful sting that retributive 
 reflection, on an opposite course, must plant within 
 it to canker and corrode all your future peace ! — 
 And then, to magnify your guilt and aggravate 
 your condemnation, will come the memory of the 
 watchful hours, and sleepless nights a departed mo- 
 ther spent at your bedside of sickness and of pain. 
 Again, on your burning brow, lighted up from 
 within by feverish fires, you will feel her cool and 
 balmy hand pressing tenderly the tlirobbing arte- 
 ries into stillness and peace ! Or, again, and again, 
 will imagination paint your father's furrowed brow 
 working with intensity of thought in plans for your 
 welfare and happiness — or his bleaching hairs sa- 
 turated with the moisture of industry and toil, en- 
 deavoring to procure the sustenance for your body, 
 and the means of elevating you to usefulness and 
 respectability. These may not be the scorpion 
 whips of memory now, for the disobedient child ; 
 but Heaven has its time and season v^^hen the re- 
 tributive storm will wake the sleeping waves of 
 thought, and whelm the ungratetul soul in all the 
 agony of remembrance. In maturer age, as youth 
 has been obedient or not, will oirnipOtent and om- 
 ni-benevolent justice commend your ow^ii well- 
 filled chalice to your lips — and as you merit, its 
 contents will cool the fevered pulse of life, with re- 
 freshing peace, or light it up anew with the trou- 
 blous flames of agony and remorse I 
 
 And will you choose this destruction of peace and 
 shipwreck of felicity, merely for the pleasure — the 
 fancied joys which disobedience and base ingrati- 
 
424 DUTIES OF rOUTH. 
 
 tiulc promise you at the present moment? Wilt 
 you spurn your mother's liopes and cares, your 
 lather's expectations and labors — will you blight 
 the blossoming fruition of all their toils and anxie- 
 ties, by disobedience to their cojiimands, and disre- 
 gard of their wishes ; by spurning the dictates of 
 conscience and reason, and violating the precepts 
 of God and man ; by leading lives of inactivity and 
 uselessness, of degradation and misery ? 
 
 Forbid it heaven! As you value the com- 
 mands of God and the welfare of society — as you 
 value your parents' unwearied aftections and un- 
 ]iumbered cares — as you value your own peace 
 and prosperity, '* forget not my law, but let thine 
 heart keep my commandments ; for length of days, 
 and long life, and peace shall they add unto thee." 
 " And besides this, giving all diligence, add to your 
 faith, virtue ; and to virtue, knowledge ; and to 
 knowledge, temperance ; and to temperance, pa- 
 tience ; and to patience, godliness ; and to godli- 
 ness, brotherly kindness ; and to brotherly kind- 
 ness, charity. For if these things be in you, and 
 abound, they make you that ye sliall neither be 
 barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord 
 Jesus Christ." 
 
 And now, my dear young friends, may God im- 
 part to you wisdom from his truth, and strength 
 from his omnipotence, so to perform your respec- 
 tive individual, domestic, soaial and public duties, 
 that your days may be many and happy — that the 
 setting sun of your earthly existence may go down 
 in a clear sky, without a cloud to dim its bright- 
 ness or sully "its glory, and that the eminences of 
 your past lives may reflect back into your hearts 
 the consciousness of lives well spent in the service 
 of God and man, to brighten your passage through 
 the valley of the sliadow of death to immortality 
 r,ni] endless ])liss. Amen. 
 
Theotoqtc.it Semin.ify Sppff 
 
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