\ ' s^ ( SOCIETY OF INQXJIRir;5 eTntna^^/. • •»*>©^5 O^****'" JVo. 1 1 (>C J Shelf, 312 1 5 I .^e^^©e< "% 4 MEMOIR S3S3L31'@1f ^SSS^^SSfS OP THE UTE / REV. JOHN R. M'DOWALL, THE MARTYR OF THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT, IN THS NINETEENTH CENTUKT. NEW- YORK : POBLISHED BY LEAVITT, LORD, ft CO. No. 182 Broadway. 1838. Entered, according to Act of Congress, m the year 1838, bj Mrs. Phebe M'Dowall, in the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the Southern District of New- York, CONTENTS. Pa?e Preface, vii Chapter i.— Early life or M'DowAhL.— Account by his Father, 1 Chapter ii. — Youthful Diary. — Miscellaneous refleclions— Petitions — Reminiscences— Sickness— Conversion — Tri- als — Dedication to the ministry — Incipient labors— Sab- bath-schools— Alternate depression and comfort— Revival of religion— Self-renunciation-Dedication to martyrdom, 5 Chapter hi. — Relinquishment of worldly prospects — Plans of study— Hungerings and thirstings after righteousness- Solemn covenant engagements and vows — Copy of a letter, la Chapter iv.— Precautions against error— Against impetuosity and indiscretion— Chastisements— Disappointments— Re- signation — Claims of the heathen — Response to the call- Departure from his father's house— Commencement of his studies at Amherst— Resolutions and prayers, 19 Chapter v. — Exercises of his mtnd at Amherst. — Joy in God —Temptations— Coldness— Slow Progress — Self-abase- ment—Sanctuary and social privileges— The heathen — The Jews— Longing desires for their conversion— Anxiety to visit Jerusalem, and labor in Palestine— He unites with the church in Amherst — Pecuniary destitution — Spiritual distresses— Instruction of children, 25 Chapter vi.— Entrance at College— New dangers and new resolutions — Prayers for his father— for his mother — for his sister and brothers— For the church— Sore temptations —Solicitude to understand the Bible— Conscientiousness —New-Year's meditations— Excessive study— Excursion — Revivals — Sickness — Recovery — Destitution — Relief— A precious season — Thoughts of home and kindred — Close of the term— Self-examination— Commencement- Prayer for a revival in college — Labors in South Hadley, Granby, and South-Hampton— Exhortation to professors- Preparations to enter another institution, 26 Chapter vn. — Funeral — Conversation with a colored man — Thoughts on prayer— Colleges— Sunday School— Poor health— Depravity of man— Visits among the unconvert- ed — Opposition — Objections refuted — Determination to go forward, 45 Chapter viii.— Trouble— Thoughts of home— Death of Mr. Fisk— Calumny— Reflections— Vacation— Fast in Kin- derhook, 52 If CONTENTS. Fag9 Chapter rx. — Relnrn to coll;*ge — Praver-meetings — Conver- sion of a young man — Slander — Officers in college, 5B Chapter x. — Visits among sinners — Success — Opposition — Cruelly to animals — Doubts — Kindness of parents — Des- pondency — Visit to Ballstown, and his parents, 61 Chapter xi. — Thoughts on the revival — Trials — Concerning leaving the Dutch church — Deep sense of sin — Letters — Ministerial qualifications, 68 Chapter xh. — Letter from Mr. Crane — Labors in College — Persecutions — Prayer Meeting — Fainting — Kindness — Letter from J. C. Bearaan, Ohio— Labars in the vicinity of College — Journey to Canada — Faithfulness and piety, bO Chapter xm. — Letter from Mr. Richmond — Letter from Mr. Hallock — Doings of the Board at Providence — Mr. M'Dowall's labors — Extracts from his Journal — Testimo- nialsof his friends — Labors in different parts — 111 health — Influence and energy of ladies — Letter to Mr. Hallock — Extracts from the Report of the Rhode Island Sunday- school Union, 86 Chapter xiv. — Return to Princeton — Reflections on various subjects — Reading Sermons — African School — Joining Princeton Presbytery — Appetite — Visits in African fami- lies — 'On inducing people to read the Bible through — Plea- sant interview — Inquiries to know duty respecting future labors — Left Princeton for New- York — Visit Five Points — Horrid scene and depravity exposed — Appeal to Ladies — An African's excuse not to attend meeting — Called to seeacorp.se — Preached Christ — ^John Stratford — Labors continued — Sailors — Lotteries, 97 Chapter xv. — Groceries — Gambling — Reflections on lust — On the wages of sin — Cruelly of the keepers of houses of infamy — Manner of leading females to the Five Points — Progress of the school — DilTiculties in the way of females who wish to lenve the abodes of sin — Indifference in the city to the cause of reform — Faithfulness in preaching — Females taken to the Refuge — Character of the seducer, 109 Chapter xvi. — Papacy and Paganism — Search the Scriptures — Visit to the Refuge — Story of a poor girl — A word to parents — Evening at the Tract House — Leaving the School — A short summary of his doings — Conversation •with a wicked woman — Close preaching — Visit with Mr. Wheelwright among the abandoned — Talk to a young man, 112> Chapter xvn.— Visit to the Hook — Visit in Anthony-street — Card-playing — An infidel — School opened at the Dispen- sary — Testimony of Mahala Lake— Story of a merchant — Sabbath-school removed — Talk to a young man — Visit to Princeton — ^Journey to Philadelphia—Magdalen So- CONTENTS. V -M rage ciety— Conversation on infidelity— Leaves Philadelphia- Conversation in the stage— Goes to New-York — Five Points— A man in soft raiment — Visit to Penitentiary— To Tammany Hall, 131 Chapter xvm— Visit to the Five Points— A young girl — Visit at the Alms House — School at the Penitentiary- Case of two females — His own division — French Revolu- tion—Story of a young man— Weekly report to the Execu- tive Committee— Female Penitentiary— Ancient poets- Visit to the Asylum — Description of vile houses — Meet- ing of the Board of the Benevolent Society- Vile houses in and about the Five Points — Number of vile men and women, 143 Chapter xtx.— Weariness— Walk in Broadway— Interview with two girls— Advice and kindness— Persuaded them to go home — The next day called on them and learned their situation— Visit to the Asylum — Trouble among them amicably settled— Meeting 'in the Penitentiary- Visit at Anthony and Chatham-streets— Meeting at the Five Points— Reflections — Farther visits— Visit to twelve wards in the Alms House, 155 Chapter xx. — Visit to Bellevue — Affecting incident— Testi- mony of A. P.— Penitentiary accommodations— Story of a young girl. — The aged mother — Description of houses of ill-fame— City thieves— Kemarks, 1G3 Chapter xxi. — Story of a merchant — Dress of christian fe- males — License — Discouragements — Testimony of a phy- sician — Marriage — Magdalen Facts — State of suspense — Meeting of ministers— Discouragements — Manner of be- ing found in a garret — Removal from the place, 177 Chapter xxii. — Letter — Cholera — Devising ways to bring his cause before the public — Lectures — Discouragements — Efforts made — Wm. Goodell's appeal — Supplies sent in, 194 Chapter xxiii. — Commences his journey — Benevolent Society — Encouragements and difliculties — Moral Reform meet- ing — Malice and threats — All at stake — New troubles — Strange things — Nameless facts — Sickness of Mrs. M'Dowall — Luxury and style, 204 Chapter xxiv.-^Grand Jury — Moral Reform — General Ref- uge on the banks of the Hudson — Stranger's home — New- York election — New-York Observer — Obscene prints, 213 Chapter xxv. — Third Presbytery — Kindness — Mobs — Letter to Oneida Institute — Leaves the house in Mott-street — Address to the ladies of Moral Reform Society, 227 Chapter xxvi. — Visit to New-Haven and Litchfield — His for- tune — Amalgamation and purity — Sail up the Hudson — Obscene pictures — Journal in Troy, 249 VI CONTENTS. Page Chapter xxvn. — Address to the ladies of the Troy Female Moral Reform Society — Visit to Connecticut for the Seventh Commandment Society — Scene at a tavern, 266 Chapter xxviii. — New-Milford — Journal at Connecticut — Re- turn to New-York — ^Journey to the West — Journal while on the Canal — Rochester— Doings there, 280 Chapter xxix. — Journal continued while onward to the West — -Return to New-York — Preparing his Defence — Brought before the Presbytery, 295 Chapter xxx. — The result and appeal, 306 Chapter xxxi. — Difficulty of obtaining a copy of the doings of Presbytery — Sympathies of friends — Meeting, and re- sult of Synod, 338 Chapter xxxn. — Labors and writings — Sickness and death — Testimony of Dr. Brown — His character, 348 Appendix, Letter from Rev, Theodore Wright, 390 Letter from J W , 395 Letter from C , 400 Sketches of Rev. John R. M'Dowall, by Wm.G oodell, 410 PREFACE A celebrated Universalist clergyman was once asked hovf he could embrace such a dangerous doctrine ? His answer was, "I am no more a Universalist than all the world ; every body ^s f /lends go to heaven: if so, all mankind must be saved." How many biographies have been written which do not savor strongly of this principle? It is well if even the criminal who is executed for piracy upon the high seas, does not leave behind some kind-hearted philanthropist, who, in telling his wondrous siory, makes him not only the noble hero, but the g-ood christian pirate. Then, to be an acquaintance, a friend of M'Dowall, and his impartial biographer, requires, if not the inspiration of a St. Luke, at least an eye single to the glory of God. To delineate the most prominent features in his character, some of his persecutions must be told : this must rebul^e hia persecu- tors ; and to be just without acrimony, merciful without par- tiality, and show the world M'Dowall himself, "who is suf- ficient for these things?" To say M'Dowall was a good man, in the common acceptation of the word, is not enough ; to say he was an infallible man, would not be right ; but to say he was the man above all others, who suffered daily martyr- dom to elevate the standard of moral purity to its present height, is saying what truth and justice require should be said. There have been difficulties in compiling this work which seldom occur in any other. The reader must be conscious that the name of M'Dowall has long been odious to the ears of modern refinement, and to such deserves no better eulogy than a misiruided philanthropist, who, " Meteor like, flew loveless through the sky," making his way to pre-eminence only by the novelty of his route. Another class gravely tell you that they believe he was an intrigueing, dishonest man,^ goaded on by the love of money and fame ; but being defeated in both, poured a tirade of abuse upon his more discerning antagonists, and then broke the hearts of weak-minded msn and silly women by a pitiful whin- ing of persecution, wholly unparalleled in modern times. This latter class say, give us the man — his apostolic zeal — his persecutions and martyrdom, sparing neither root nor branch. Now it must be evident that these antipodes see throug-h dif- ferent glasses, and if the vision of one be clear, the other must be jaundiced ; and who can compile a work to suit the optics of both ? Another formidable difficulty has been, to make the best Vll PREFACE. selection from such a mass of papers promiscuously thrown together, as were his, the last four years of his hfe. His regu- lar journal, till then, was kept with accuracy, and shows he was not deficient in system ; but when his " fiery trials" com- menced, he wrote as he could in the hurry of the moment ; and though he was careful to preserve every item, yet many of these items were in detached parts, incoherently written, and the dates quite imperfect. Should the reader find errors in dates, let this be the apology. As to the facts themselves, Ihey have been gathered from his own private writings, from his printed Journal, from the testimony of Mrs. M'Dowall, and many from personal ac- quaintance of the compiler with M'Dowall himself. This volume contains but a preface to his writings and labors. The beginning of his christian career may have something of the sameness of others in like circumstances; but when he entered fully into the field, you see M'Dowall himself, till lost in the ocean of eternity. Should the eye of any young disciple lighten these pages, whose enthusiastic heart is panting to put on the armour M'Dowall has put off, he will do well to remember there are lions in the way, — he will do w'ell to ask, if single-handed and alone, without " purse or scrip," he dare meet the formid- able foes that lurk in every path. Let hitn then sit down first and count the cost, lest he begin to build and be not able to finish. Let the doting mother, as she reads these pages, while her laughing ones are sporting about her in all the innocence of uncontaminated purity, bless God that M'Dowall lived, and while he lived placed way-marks at every dangerous step, that she may guard and guide them till, wisely trained in the way they should go, and when older, they will never depart from it. Let the self-secure, when she boasts of her own conscious strength, look among the spoils of her lost sex, and there she may find many a tarnished gem, who once, like her, asked no M'Dowall to warn against the syren song of flattery, or the unseen whirlpool where many an innocent victim has been swallowed and lost for ever. It is not, it cannot be supposed that the expectations of all will be realized who read these pages. To some the picture will be too vividly, to others too faintly drawn. To all the compiler would say, the object of the writer was not solely to "get up a book" that should please, but, if possible, to do good to such as are seeking lor truth, and know how to appreciate it when obtained. That such may be blessed and profited, is the sincere wish of THE COMPILER. New York, January [>lh, 1833. M SS M <&2 ^ci CHAPTER I. EARLY LIFE OF RET. J. R. m'dOWALL, BY HIS FATHER. The Following is furnished by the venerable father of the deceased, who has been a minister of the Gospel, in Canada, for about fortj years. John R. M'Dowall was born in Fredericksburgh, county of Lenox, Midland District, Upper Canada, the 20th of September, 1801. He came into the world a child of sor- row. His deep moaning during the first twenty-four hours of his life was considered an indication of his speedy disso- lution ;* but He who destined him to the great work of pro- moting moral purity, raised him up from his low state, and favored him, with the exception of occasional attacks of se- vere headache, with good health. His mind was lively and often deeply impressed with the awful realities of eter- nity. The worship of God was with him a delightful em- ployment. I will state one example of this. He went of his own accord in the month of April, 1816, then in the 15th year of his age, with his father and a gentleman, a near neighbor, six miles on foot to meeting. When he * This might seem too trivial to notice, ai it is what often occurf with children, but it made such animpressiun on the minds of all who saw him at that time, that it ha« often been mentioned before and since his peculiar sufieriDgs in the last years of his life. 1 2 MEMOIR OF THE relurned home, the road being bad, he was miicli fatigued and pale. His mother inquired what ailed him ; he re- plied that his thigh was sore by means of leaping over a small stream of water or going over a fence : "but father preached such a good sermon to-day, that I am well paid for my trouble."' That pain was just above his right knee, ulcered, af- fected the thigh-bone, of which a considerable part exfoli- ated, brought him near the grave, and greatly impaired his physical powers during his life. This affliction, through the sanctifying influence of the Holy Spirit, brought him to deeper consideration and nearness to God. In his distress he covenanted with God, that if he spared his life he would live more devoted to his service. Soon after his recovery he commenced his academical studies, and afterwards spent about a year and a half with an un- cle, by his mother's side, at York, (now Toronto,) in the study of law. Thence he wrote his father he was not vo- latile, but he could not conscientiously pursue the profes- sion of law, and that he had consecrated himself to God wholly, and could not perform his vow, unless he brought his whole powers to bear on the enlargement of Christ's kingdom. He was asked in reply if he did not think, from the prospects before him, that he might exert such influ- ence on others as to induce them to do as much or more, to forward the prosperity of the Redeemer's kingdom, than he could by his own personal ministry. He answered that he had not covenanted to serve God by proxy, but to serve him in his own person. After he had quit his studies and returned home, a gen- tleman bred to the law, and holding different offlces under government, asked him if he did not think he had done wrong in giving up his intention to study law, as few young men in the Province had such favorable opportuni- tics of rising to eminence as he had. He answered hiin by presenting him a book, and saying, REV. JOHN R. M DOWALL. 3 "Mr. Thompson, here was my choice when I left York." and showed him a hymn something- like the following lines: " Ye glittering toys of earth, adieu ! " A nobler choice be mine ; " A real prize attracts my view, " A treasure all divine." Conversing with his mother one day after his return from York, respecting the worldly prospects that were before him, he raised his hands and said, " Mother, when I got on board the vessel to leave York, I looked back, and then I left the world," Daring his stay at home he manifested great anxiety about the rising generation ; travelled both alone and in company with me to organize Sabbath schools in different places, and exerted himself to imbue the young mind in his own neighborhood with a deep sense of the Gospel of peace and the awful realities of eternity. The general apathy to religion in the neighborhood, and the coldness and conformity to the world in the few professors of religion, awakened his sympathies for them. He used his influence to persuade them to build a house for the w^orship of God. He also spent some time in mak- ing collections for that purpose. After his departure for College all prospect of building a house died away, till after the lapse of ten or twelve years, when the prospect was revived by a few who made no pretensions to holy living; and the work was completed. After the commencement of his labors in New- York, he wrote me that his funds were exhausted by laboring to check the source of the most complicated degradation and misery, and was not sustained by the christian public, and wished my advice whether he ought to persevere in his exertions, or give up his endeavors as hopeless. This was a difficuh question for me to decide at such a distance : I 4 MEMOIR OF THE could therefore only say, that if he were not sustained he must abandon his field of labor ; but if God had raised him up as an instrument to promote such a reformation as he wished, he would provide for him. As all who live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer per- secution, I do not wonder that my son died a martyr. For though I never wrote a word on moral reform for any pa- per, 1 have on account of it suffered great persecution by nominal professors, who have gone from house to house to stir up hatred, strife, and opposition against me ; and these persecutors were encouraged and aided by a pro- fessed minister of the Prince of Peace. What will not professors and ministers do, who are seeking popularity, and are unwilling to be reclaimed from their evil ways ! ! As Jesus Christ, by dying, destroyed him who had the power of death, and as Samson destroyed more Philis- tines in his death than he slew during his whole life, even so God, who overrules all things for the good of those that love him, and are the " called according to his purpose," may have determined the martyrdom of my dear son, whose exit out of this world was gloriously triumphant, to have a powerful influence to forward the great work on which his heart was set. Indeed, it was long ago thought that the blood of mar- tyrs was the seed of the church. Robert M'Dowall. REV. JOHN R. M DOWALL. 6/1; CHAPTER II. YOUTHFUL DIARY. B^ificelkncous reflections — Petilicns — Reminiscences — Sickness-— Conversion — tiials — Dedication to the ministry — Incipient labors — Sabbath-schools — Alternate dopression and comfort — Revival of religion— -Self-renunciation — Dedication to Martyrdom. Hamilton, Aug-. 14, 1821. Sabbath niorrdng, 1821. — How delightful to rise in the morning and take the refreshing air, the gift of heaven ; and how much so to the christian, who is once more per- mitted by his heavenly Creator to raise devout adorations from his bended knee, and to visit the temple of Jehovah, and offer up his " sacrifice of a broken heart," which, to the Almighty, if truly and unfeignedly performed, is more ucceptable than the " fat of rams, or the blood of bullocks." Lord, may I keep this day holy to thee, by walking in the path which is so clearly marked out in the Gospel ! May I not follow after sin, or be led away by my fellow-students, and may I strive to avoid their levit3^ May I now read a chapter in the New Testament and bow the knee before thy footstool, and render praise to thee for not making my bed my grave ; to pray for distant friends and the pros- perity of the church, and thy missionary servants. Bri- dle my tongue. \oth. 10 d clock, eve7iing.—hord, how grateful ought I to be, for mercies received through the day, from so benefi- cent a Being as thou art ! Thy very name ought to strike me with reverential awe, and make my heart glow with the warmest gratitude. And now, merciful Father, may I, after reading a portion of thy word, and committing my- self to thy charge during the night, lie down in peace be- neath the shadow of thy wings ! September 8, 1821. — When I think that twenty years of 1* 6 MEMOIR OF TKK my life have been spent in sinful employments, I am ready to cry out, " How astonishing is the goodness of Je- hovah in sparing me, a v^rretch as 1 am !" Since thou hast spared me so long, endure with me unto the end. Abra- ham, the father of the faithful, said, " Let not my Lord be angry, and I will speak but this once." O preserve thy holy religion among us — bless our missionary societies — bless all in authority over us ; may they rule with the rod of righteousness ! Bring in the gentiles in the fullness of time. Sabbath morning. — How thankful, O God, should a sin- ful mortal be, for seeing the light of another Sabbath ? May I go to thy sanctuary this day, and »pend the Sabbath as becomes a true follower of Jesus I And wilt thou con- vict idle and profane persons who wander and stroll through the streets, profaning thy holy day not only by their own neglect, but by drawing the attention of others, and enticing youth to follow their diabolical practices? There is another evil we pray thee to check, viz. that of Sabbath parties. Keep me from these ungodly practices \ December, 1821. My spirits are languid, and I feel a general coolness towards things of a divine nature. It causes me often to think of the Laodicean church, and take the application to myself of the curse denounced against her ; " I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot," &c. O may I buy gold of thee, that hast been tried in the fire, and " white raiment, that I may be clothed I" Fredbrsckskurgb, Midland District. Jan. 1, 1822. — This day, one year ago, I was pursuing a path which a proud heart did dictate. Forensic diction, crafty pleas, dubious issues, demurrers, with a catalogue of plead- ings, conveyances, &c. too numerous to be recorded on this small sheet. This wrapt me up in the things of this world, and the prince of the air bade me be still. So did I slumber on, till God in his infinite wisdom brought me near to the I REV. JOHN gales of deaih. Then did 1 plainly see that the God of heaven was not to he trifled with. I sought for the light of his life-giving countenance, and nightly did I cry unto my God. In the shades of the darkest night did I rise up and water my couch with my tears. Despair at last laid hold on me, and solitude became my friend. My pri- vate walks and lonely bed-chamber heard my complaints. Fast did my spirits flag and body decay, and death stared me in the face, melancholy, pensive guest, bound my fee- ble frame, and caused it to decay. All cheerful company was carefully avoided, and inno- cent amusements denied. Perpetual gloom hung on my countenance, the fairest prospects vanished, dismal appear- ances did every thing assume, and those which should have given delight, afforded nothing but disgust. Such an unhappy creature, that life itself became a burden, and hurried on by Despair, its consequent attendant, Satan would have caused me to lay violent hands on myself had not my Redeemer showed his face. But still I was greatly distressed both in body and mind. There were vestiges of the dismal disease yet larking in my system ; to surmount which I sought the company of those who, by their declarations, knew and felt the powerful influences of the Holy Spirit, as well as those who proved it by their walk. Circumstances allow- ed me not to stay long in their company ; but by persever- ing in this course, taking frequent exercise, on horseback and foot, through the most pleasant parts of the adjacent country, my health was slowly recovering, when it again pleased my heavenly Father to give me one more trial. Long before this time the symptoms of a slow and lin- gering consumption appeared ; but now it renewed its at- tack with redoubled vigor, and being accompanied by a slight touch of the pleurisy, my strength rapidly decayed — my hopes of life vanished. But, O blessed be my Redeem- er ! the hope of life beyond the grave was enkindled in e MltMOIR OF THE my bosom ; an ardent flame, a lively faith, ami fervent hope buoyed me up under this affliction. It was sanctified to my good, and now do I rejoice in the fruits thereof. But in a few days it pleased my Redeemer to stay his heavy hand, and restore me to my usual health. Then this passage proved a balm to my wounded soul. " ilnd one of the eiders answered, saying unto me, What are these that are array- ed in white robes'? and whence came they? And I said unto him, Sir, thou knowest. And he said unto me, These are they which came out of great tribulation, and have washed their robes, and made them white in the blood of the Lamb. Therefore are they before the throne of God, and serve him day and night in his temple : and he that sitteth on the throne shall dwell among them. They shall hunger no more, neither thirst any more ; neither shall the sun light on them, nor any heat. For the Lamb, which is in the midst of the throne, shall feed them, and shall lead them unto living fountains of waters : and God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes." O thou Almighty and eternal first principle, thou divine Architect, who sittest in light and glory inaccessible— and ihou our King, Priest, and everlasting Redeemer, who didst assume our nature, in whom dwelleth love everlasting and ineffable, and thou divine Spirit, enable me to live unto Christ, to die unto sin, to conform my conversation as be- cometh the Gospel; in nothing to be terrified by the adver* saries of religion, that I may overcome, and be made a pillar in the temple of my God. That I may be confessed by Christ, before God and his angels — so that, Lord, I, by thy power, may be kept in all holiness, nothing doubt- ing of thy love ! About this time God remarkably answered my fervent prayers. My father gave his consent, and Mr. Wash- burn, to whom I had been articled, as a student at Law, nearly two years before that time, though to his own detri- ment, accelerated my departure, that I might devote the REV. JOHN R. m'dOWALL. 9> remainder of my days to the glory of my beneficent Creator. And now do I find myself again seated in my father's family, after having tried the paths that lead to worldly fame and greatness, enjoying the smiles of my reconciled God. The constraining grace of Christ has brought me low, and abased me in the dust. Grant, O Lord, that I may have no more high and lofty views of myself, but that I may see myself poor and needy, naked, wretched, and blind, out of the unsearchable riches of Christ, And now, though I am not in so good health as former- ly, yet I rejoice that I am this side of the grave and a burn- ing hell. I have vowed to give away my life to my God, and if it should please him, to dedicate myself to the ministry. For this purpose I relinquish the Law. My time at present is chiefly spent in the organization of Sabbath schools, and in soliciting subscriptions for the erection of a meeting-house in this place. Occasionally I review my classical studies ; but as a sedentary life does not at present agree with my health, therefore little time is spent in this way. How long shall it be, Lord, before I shall enter publicly into thy business ? O hasten the day and crown my eflforts with success ; that I may at the last and deci- sive hour come forth, bearing the sheaves of my toil, hav- ing sown in tears the good seed of thy kingdom. But in submission I would say. Thy will be done, O Lord. Jan. 7th. — I am much depressed this morning, both in body and spirits. The symptoms of the old complaint in my leg again appear. My Lord only knows whether it shall carry me hence. All must die. It is appointed once for man to die, and happy is he who is called faithful and chosen. This is a state of probation, and happy is he who confesses Christ in this vale of tears. For the Son will confess him before God and his angels. But inbred sin, thou monster ! deceitful hast thou been, and long led my soul a willing captive. O thou, my Redeemer, unless thy blood be applied there can be no remission ! 10 MEMOIR OF THE Sill. Wed/iesday evening. — Was honored by hearing a discourse from that much respected and beloved child of God, the Rer. Thaddeus Osgood. Enjoyed sweet com- munion with my God, and was greatly cheered by the ac- counts which he gave of many Sabbath schools. Sweetly did things of an eternal nature drop from his lips. The holy flame seemed to be enkindled in his breast, and duty to his divine Master impressed upon his heart. O his godly advice, his heavenly instruction ! Let it deeply fix upon our souls, and bring forth fruits meet for repentance ! Sweet advice did he give to the scholars of the Sabbath school. May it be as seed sown in good soil ! 10^/i. Friday evening. — My dear father preached, "Set thy house in order,'' &c. I trust it was a profitable season to my soul. The great truths of eternity were deeply im- pressed upon all. Pride, vanity, lasciviousness, self-righ- teousness, and all vain- amusements were rebuked. O let us go to Christ, cast ourselves upon him unreservedly^ that his blood may be applied to our souls. Feb. 2Qth. — No prospect of my departure to College. Lord, how long shall it be before I shall publicly enter upon thy business ? Or wilt thou never honor me, so vile a creature, with thy holy office ? But may I sajr, " Thy will be done." Twenty-one years of my life have passed away, and are nov^r buried in oblivion ! The seminaries of learning in these parts are to edu- cate those who profess Presbyterian principles. I languish for want of due employment, but support me under tri- bulation and afiiiction with this one trial also ! March 1th. — I have just returned from a circuit of one hundred and forty miles, having accompanied my father on his mission through that route. By the assistance of my father I established, or rather organized, two Sabbath schools. There is a prospect that four more will soon be e&tablished. O Lord, be pleased to prosper those already REV. :onS R. MDOWALL. ll planted ! O carry on thy work in this our country, till all shall be brought to a sense of duty ! A revival of religion has commenced in the adjoining district ; eighty have joined the Methodists and five the Baptists. O how long shall thy hand be concealed in this place ! Arise, Lord ! plead thy own cause, that infidelity may hide her head for shame ! I9lh. — Melancholy, pensive soul am I. O could I but fly on the pinions of a dove, 1 would soar to a land far distant, a land where thou, Jesus, art unknown, and there would I declare thy praise ! Dreadful sinner that I am I O horrid, abominable, indwelling sin ! O Lord Jesus, par- don my sins and wash nne in thy blood ! 2dd. Siihbath day. — Attended the school, made a few observations on the Lord's prayer. Much more serious- ness observed in the scholars than is usual. May some fruit to the honor and glory of God result ! My health is not so good as it v/as yesterda}-, yet I believe it my duty to attend church, though it be not of my denomination. And that God would own and bless the effort to establish worship in that place. But I fear that prejudices are so strongly riveted they cannot easily be subdued. Lord, cause thy pure and undehled religion to surmount infidel principles and atheistical and deistical blasphemies. June 2oth. — Returned from Bath. Party spirit rages high, it being the time of their electing a member to Par- liament. There were to be seen men reeling to and fro with drunkenness, whose heads were blossomed for the grave. O the profanity, the ungodly walk of men! Has ten the day, O Lord, v.-hen I shall leave this place and go {at hence to the Gentiles ! This day I received a letter from my dear friend, Dr. Armstrong. I had written him to know the names of the officers of Dartmouth, Yale, Union, and Andover semina- ries. At this time I feel much distressed .; my fathers ex- tensive circuit demands all his time, and I am nesflecteJ. 12 MEMOIR OF THE O Lord, save my soul, and bear me up under all these trying- circumstances ! O Lord, if it is thy will that one so vile and base in the sight of his Creator should go forth the herald of divine grace to fallen man, make me sensi- ble of my wretched condition and dependence upon thee ! During the month of February I visited some friends in a most destitute part of the country. How seldom do they find the healing balm presented to their view — the atonement and complete redemption of fallen man through the blood of the dear Redeemer ! The lamp is almost ex- tinguished, but, O Lord, may it continue to burn till many a darkened heart shall be brought to a knowledge of the Lord, as it is in Christ the Redeemer. Two precious Sab- baths rolled over my head and I did not hear a Gospel sermon ! 29M. Attended the funeral of a child seven years of age, who led an uncommonly exemplary life. How satis- factory is it to trace all the conduct of such a child ! and could we look up to God for direction, as a child looks to a parent for instruction, w^hat might we not expect. This day, O Lord, I formally offer up myself to thee. O Christ, enable me to keep this resolution, and never let me lose sight of the noble calling of a minister. Prepare me for thy service, and make me instrumental of much good in thy cause. Let me remember that former vows have been formally made with respect to the most solemn dedication to the ministr5\ Lord, whilst that wa- vering and inconstant spirit doth continue, may I not be led astray by any false or erroneous doctrine, but be kept steadfast in the word of God. Sahbath evening. — This evening I visited the sick. O may I profit thereby ! Could I be, like the publican, truly sensible of my condition, then could I have hope in God my Savior. Lord perfect thy work in me ! Let me not go down to the grave a poor forlorn creature, without grace or hope. REV. JOHN R. M DOWALL. 13 June 20/A, — Could I but survey or behold the pollu- tion of myself, it would be more than I could endure. Truly I am corrupted from the " crown of the head to the sole of the foot." O that I could loathe myself for Jesus' sake, and become humble before him, in dust and ashes. Presuming youth that I am, to defy the majesty of heaven to enter into combat with a worm of the dust, by so many rebellions against him. O Jesus, subdue my obdurate heart, melt it down in love to thee. Suffer me not to be an out- cast from thy presence. Notwithstanding my repeated in- sults to thy m.ajesty, thou hast still borne with me to this day. Do, O Lord, bear with me, for I am but flesh and blood, and they never can inherit thy kingdom. June 29lh. How very trying it is to break off from one course and pursue another; for the young man who hr^s arrived at the age of twenty-one, to abandon a profession which bids fair to give him a decent and comfortable live- lihood, and pursue that which only offers trouble, toil, and pain, and one that is subject to every kind of reproach by the avowed enemies of the cross, is a subject which al- most rends the heart of him who is doomed to the sad and almost heart-rending trial. Youthful genius seeks a sphere in which it may move with pomp and acquire fame. But when these hopes are blasted, then the victim is almost driven to desperation. But blessed be the King, the Lord of heaven and earth, that it is in him I put my trust — that it is the cause of the dear Redeemer in which [ am to be engaged. And O may the Lord give me strength to bear up under affliction. O may I be sound in the faith ; and if it be requisite to pro- mote the glorious cause, may my body be given up, like to that of Christ, a willing sacrifice, even a sacrifice upon the accursed tree, ihs tree of infamy and disgrace. O that I may be counted worthy to suffer for the glorious cause ! O that this frail reptile worm, only a speck on the face of creation, could have so glorious an end ; for the martyrs o 14 MEMOIR OF THE and saints shall shine in the kingdom of heaven, as so many suns and stars. O could I bat arrive to the station of a door-keeper in the house of God, what a great — Avhat a noble — what an exalted creature should I be.* June 20th. — It is very trying for me to abandon this profession, (the study of the law,) but we know He that feedeth the young ravens when they cry, can also feed me. May I be wholly resigned unto the Lord, and may the God of Jacob be pleased to acknowledge me as one of his children. Teach me, O God, to be resigned, and not distrustful of thy word ! Lord, many obligations are in- cumbent on me, and how few do I faithfully discharge ! How can I atone for all this ? Alas ! by the deeds of the law shall no flesh be justified. Should it please the Lord to cast me into his vineyard, then he will open the door where I must enter. My trust is in him, and I know that in his appointed time I shall be received; if not a laborer here in his church, I shall enter into his church triumphant. A religious friend spent an evening with me, and could I enjoy, during life, what I felt during his conversation, it would satisfy me more than all the wealth of the world. * It seems impossible to pass over this strange request of a youth of twenty-one, and not adn?iire the spirit that dictated it, and the lite- ral fulfillment of this almost prophetic petition. REV. JOHN R. M'dOWALL. 15 CHAPTER III. ReHnquishment of worldly prospects — Plans of study — Hungerings and thirstjngs after righteousness — ydemn covenant engagements and vows. Copy of a letter without date. Rev. and dear Sir, — Yours of the third inst. is now before me. Its contents I highly esteem. How is it that He who ordains all things, has appointed a sphere in which each human being must move ? And happy are they who are called to labor in his vineyard, if they discharge their duty with care and fidelity. So likewise all men are not qualified to fill the same office, and for that reason do I think it is my duty to abandon the pursuit which has so long been the object of my care. But though I consider that this profession would never be congenial to my feelings, yet I will not say that of divinity would be ; but by prayer and a hope for immortal blessings, with a desire to pro- mote the glorious cause, I will trust in him who is perfect- ly able to make it so. Never, my dear friend, since that day in which my name was recorded on the books of the Law Society of Upper Canada as a student at Law, did I enjoy tranquillity. To think I should be instrumental in increasing the mass of human misery which daily sur- rounds us, together with the recollection of promises made on the bed of sickness, with innumerable other things, it destroyed my peace and sometimes left me almost a vic- tim of despair. But now I can say, in verity I hope, that the Lord hath wrought a great work for my soul. The prison doors are open, and no longer am I a willing cap- tive of the great enemy of mankind. Every bright and brilliant prospect of making a comfortable and easy liveli- hood have I sacrificed. And O may the all-wise Being give so unworthy a creature an abode in that house which 16 MEMOIR OF THE hath many mansions, mansions in which perpetual happi- ness and immortal bliss are found. A length of time will be necessary to acquire that knowledge of Latin I had when I entered into the Law; my prospects, too, are far from being so favorable as I could wish : but by assiduity are the greatest obstacles surmounted. If I had some person who could daily direct my stu- dies and attend on me at regular periods, then should I not only re-acquire, but lay up a great store of useful knowledge, and that in the course of a short lime. When at home my father will do this; but a very great in- convenience will be found in studying there, arising from his being so much absent. Many weeks I have known him to be absent for three or four days during each, and sel. dom is there a week but he is away one or tw^o. This causes irregularity ; and where this is the case, a person cannot expect to proceed with so much satisfaction as- though it w^ere otherwise. I am happy to hear of your success. I hope j^ou may be useful, not only as a pastor of Christ's small flock, but as a public teacher of the arts and sciences — persons of his description are so much needed in Canada. I am, Rev. Sir, yours truly, J. R. M'DOWALL. Rev. Mr. Green, J^iagara. FURTHER EXTRACTS FRO^I HIS DIARY. \7th. — O that I might be circumspect in all things, and not even give the enemy an opportunity to lay hold of my failings ! Many rush forward in those pursuits which are injurious to themselves as well as to many others. Not- withstanding my profession and almost daily desires to REV. JOHN R. ?: DOWALL. 17 live a more devoted life than 1 have done, yet there ap- pears to be nothing of which I am more destitute; even in the very midst of devotion, tempting thoughts enter my mind and dissipate every godly idea. Here, then, appears the beauty of Jesus saying, " Watch and pray, lest ye en- ter into temptation." Our depravity is such, that we are totally unable to serve God without a renewal of heart. In thee, Lord, do I put my trust, and though the day should be retarded in which I am to enter thy vineyard, yet I know that thou hast not rejected me, but that one day I shall be an acknowledged workman in thy service. Disappointment renders a man unfit for business. This I know, from a sad trial — an experimental acquaintance beyond the power of deception. A Diary kept for my own j)rivale iasirv.ction. Here should my light shine forth, but too much dark- rsess pervades my mind. To be illuminated by the Com- forter is my great desire at present. A vain levity marks my actions. O that I could divest myself thereof by the help of Jesus. With great circumspection should I walk, that the world, seeing my good works, might glorify my Father which is in heaven. July 2od, 1823.— A vow of the utmost chastity, to ex tend even to the very thoughts, should constantly bind me. Such an one, O Lord, enable me faithfully to observe un- til August 23d, and from thence to the end of my life, and to thee shall all the praise be rendered.* John R. M'Dowall. A breach of the above would justly doom to everlasting * He made this vow " before God and angels," and affixed a seal, but the sheet which contained it has been mislaid. It was written a short time afler this. 2* 18 MEMOIR OF THE misery. Therefore enable me to do — to observe this, and ali thy other laws, that I, by patience and well-doing, may finally be brought into thy heavenly kingdom. July 25th. — I fear the above is worded in a manner that corresponds not with the Gospel ; for it would justify me by the law. I desire not to trust to being saved thereby, but through the merits of Jesus Christ. That I may the better remember vows which were made in youth and riper years, I here record them which come to my remembrance, praying the Lord will be pleased to enable me to perform them, 1816. — During an ilbiess. U it will please the Lord to raise me from this bed of sickness, the remainder of my days shall be devoted to his service in the ministerial office, John R. M' Do wall. 1822. — While a student at laiv, in York, Upper Canada. In reflecting on my past life, I find conscience bears me witness, that unless 1 perform the vow of 1816, and do, as soon as circumstances permit, relinquish the thoughts of ever becoming a barrister and counsellor at law, I never can have peace with my God. I am sensible that my abilities are but slender ; however, God can be to me as he was to Moses, and do even much more ; in consequence of which I will devote the remain- der ^f my life to his honor and glory; and may the Lord enable me to keep this vow. [L. S.] Signed, sealed, and executed with faith in Jesus Christ, my Lord and only Savior. John R. M'Dowall. York^ Upper Canada. GOD IS TRUE. REV. JOHN R. m'dOWALL. 19 CHAPTER IV. Precautions against error — Against impetuosity and indiscretion- Chastisements — Disappointments — resignation — Claims of the hea- then — Response to the call — Departure from his father's house — Commencement of his studies at Amherst — Resolutions and prayers. FROM HIS DIARY. July 26. — I find that I am subject to a bias ffom three sources : Times, " Persons, and Opinions^ In times, in judging of ages past and gone by the present : from '' per- so?is,^^ in submissively following their creed without due examination, they thereby acquiring an imperceptible authority over my sentiments, even so much so as to se- duce me to adopt their errors; and from ''opiniojis" in endeavoring to pervert or modify facts, in favor of those who have embraced them, or to the disadvantage of those who have opposed them ; — from this, Lord, deliver me. 27. — The impetuous fire of youth often drives us on, and without carefull)'- tempering it with moderation, it may plunge us into a labyrinth of inextricable difficulties. Then zeal, tempered by discretion, is a treasure which can never be too highly valued: nor can zeal without knowledge be too highly condemned and guarded against. So then, to be a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of God, giving to each his por- tion in due season, without /ga?- or partiality, is truly much to be desired. I am again troubled with a pain in my thigh, and am obliged to use crutches to go from one room to another. August 18. — Since the 15th of July it has pleased the Lord to chastise me in two w^ays ; the one with sickness, the other with disappointment. 20 MEMOIR OF THE As to the first — On or about the 15th of July, having at* tended to the Sabbath school as superintendent, I was seized with a violent pain in the thigh, and soon became so affected that I was obliged to apply to a surgeon. At this moment it is not entirely free from the infection. As to the second disappointment, my life being devoted to the Lord, I am anxious of entering the ministry. For this purpose 1 relinquished the Law; and in six months was to have been in a seminary of learning, in order to prepare myself for that important office. But twelve months have elapsed, and there are no more appearances of my departure than when I returned to my father's house. This is the disappointm.ent. This has caused me to re- pine, and not be so humble as I should have been. O that I might be resigned in adversity, and thankful in prosperi* ty. O that I might never murmur at the dispensations of Providence, but always kiss the rod that inflicts the wound. John R. M'Dowall. 19th. My mind is much agitated at this moment. It arises from a call for a young man to go to the heathen as a missionary. O my God, I am thine: dispose of me as thou shalt think best. The past night was one of the most trying I have ever had, at least lately. The conflict was great. Whether I should accept the call, and go as a missionary to the hea- then, is a question quite undecided in my mind. The many obstacles which missionaries have to encounter from the prince of the power of the air, is enough to discourage a youth of more fortitude than myself. But it is not in an arm of flesh I must trust. The Lord is a rock of refuge; yea, he is a tower of strong defence. Canada, my native land, knows but little of that which maketh for her everlasting peace. True it is that she hath some who preach the glad tidings of great salvation with fervency ; but they are few. Satan's empire is very strong REV. JOHN R. m'dOWALL. 21 in her. Many have a zeal to subdue his power and plant the Savior's standard on the ruins of his kingdom ; but I fear their zeal is not according to knowledge. So then, there is a wide field open for usefulness here. But here the great question ariseth — Shall this need of faith- ful laborers preclude us from sending the Gospel to those who have never heard of a Savior? And who shall bear the commission? Now the first part of this question the I^Iessiah has de- cided : " Go ye, therefore, and teach all natioyis ; teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you — and lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world." This is peremptory. Let mortals obey. As to the second — Who shall bear this commission ? God hath stirred up the hearts of his people to send the Gospel, and they now call on them who love the Savior, to come and be prepared to preach the unsearchable riches of Christ. I find that my talents might be employed in my native land, and perhaps w^ith success. But I have also observed that the heathen are perishing for lack of vision ; and who knows but my talents, though small, might be of much use in building up the cause of God among the gentiles ? Christ's command is binding. Go. Now, does the debi- lity of my body prevent me from going, or am I not a chosen vessel to bear his name among the gentiles; or have I a call to some other place? These are questions of so much importance that I dare not hastily decide. O Lord, enable me to sit down and first count up the cost. Direct me according to thy will, then shall I please thee in all things. 1 have given myself in covenant to thee, therefore am T at thy disposal. Make me useful whether ihou sendest me to the heathen or to the lost sheep of the house of Israel. I am weak, but with the weak things or the world thou canst confound the mighty. 20th. Yesterday I parted with a young friend who was very dear to me. He is to enter Union College. I ex- 22 MEMOIR OF THE pected to have entered with him, but circumstances forbid. On this account our parting was more tender. If I accept of the missionary call, it is not likely I shall see him again in time. The call for a young man to go as a missionary to the heathen not giving any particulars, and no society having been formed, I send a copy of the following letter for fur- ther information. Fredericksburgh, U. Canada, August, 1822. Sir, — I feel a little hesitancy in addressing you on the present occasion. This arises not from a distrust in the efficacy of those means which my Lord may please to use for the propagation of his kingdom, but from the anony- mous manner in which you call upon the public for a young man to go to the heathen as a missionary. Had your name appeared on behalf of yourself or a societj'-, I could then have spoken with more freedom. But since this is not the case, and as one who has thoughts of offer- ing himself as a candidate, I beg to know how far you in- tend to assist, and where the youth, who shall be approved, can apply for such instruction as may be necessary to qualify him to preach among the Gentiles the unsearch- able riches of Christ. I shall say but little of myself; it would be vanity. My father is a minister of the Gospel, and perhaps known to yourself. I was lately a student at law; but, for reasons contained in the enclosed certificate, I relinquished the pur- suit, and am now desirous of entering as a laborer into the Lord's vineyard. My education is superficial, and I am one of those who consider it necessary to be not only well qualified by human, but also by Divine teaching, in order to declare the whole counsel of God to fallen man. On a subject of so much ini'porlancc I cannot think of finally deciding without more extensive information. REV. JOHN R. m'dOMALL. 23 Long have I desired to know the desolations that have been made in the holy city, and preach deliverance to the captive Israelites. Should I ever be employed as a mis- sionary, Palestine seems to he the place in which I should delight to labor. I merely mention this, as the idea has been long fondly cherished. Be so kind as to return the certificate in your ansv/en Yours in the best of causes, John R. M'Dowall. P. . S. — Perhaps you may like to know my confession of faith. It is that of the church of Scotland, or the Dutch church. My age 22 years. Any observation you please to make, will be thankfully received, J. JM'D. 21. — In poor heaUh. The Lord truly makes my " wick- edness correct me, and my backslidings reprove me:" for I have been as ungovernable as the mountain ass, seeking my own pleasure, despising the admonitions of the Most High God, and running whithersoever I would. Monday, August 25, 1823. — This day my friend Wm. M'Pherson leaves Canada for the college. 25. — Much disturbed in mind. O God, hide not from me the light of thy life-giving countenance, as I have hidden myself from thee. O may I abound more in prayer, for my heart is dreary. Sepiejnbcr 18. — V/hether I shall ever go as a missionary or not to the heathen, is undecided in my mind, and I do not expect to come to a determination until I have finished my studies — of an end of which there is no prospect at present. I have a mind that is very much agitated. O what must not my punishment be, unless the Lord melt this rebel- lious heart in love to him. Worm that I am, to struggle asrainst my Maker God ! "Who shall deliver me from the 24 .MEMOIR OF THE body of this death!" O Savior, come ''leaping" over the mountains of mj' sins, and skipping over the hills of my provocation. In this trying hour hide not from me the light of thy countenance, O rnostgraciousFather, but deliver me from blood-guiltiness. " Keep me, O Lord, as the apple of thine eye," and sufler not Satan to drive me into despair. When to my study 1 take myself, that cloud which has darkened the prospects of my receiving a liberal edu- cation, from infancy, seems to gather blackness and expeli all the hopes which 1 once so fondly entertained. . It is trying — it is heart-rending — to let go the idea : but hence- forth enable me, O most gracious God, by thy grace, to be resigned, and not murmur. O keep thine everlasting arms round about me, lest I fall into the pit of everlasting de- struction. Disapyomiment is as 'poison to my consiltuiion. O God, I have sinned — sinned willfully. " The soul that sinneth thus, it shall die," says the law. Lord, bring me to re- pentance, and create a new heart v/ithin me. The next notice he has made in his Journal, is dated Sackett's Harbor, on his way to Amherst Institution. How the obstructions were removed, which had so long kepthinn in painful suspense, he has not told us. October 22. — Sachctth Harbor, half past three. I left Canada, (Kingston.) Oct. 27, Albany, went to the north Dutch church; heard Mr. Ludlow, from Hebrews, II. Derived great consolation from the discourse, and received new desires, and more fervent zeal to prosecute my under- takings. As Moses left his dignities, and counted it great- er riches to follow the Lord : so may I, O thou God of Ja- cob, take up my cross and follow thee, as well through evil as good report. Be with me during the remaining part of this day: keep me from sinning against thee. REV. JOHN R. m'dOWALL. 25 Amherst, Massachusetts. November 4, 1823. — It is a fortnight to day since I left my Father's house. Lord, this is the first pledge, or most solemn act, by which I have testified my resignation to thy will. O make me more so. Grant me thy Spirit, and enable me to undergo the fatigue of a regular course of education. In thee, O Lord, I trust. May I never be con- founded. 5ih. Entered the Academy this day, and commenced the Greek Grammar. CHAPTER V. EXERCISES OF HIS MIND AT AMHERST. Joy in God — Temptations — Coldness— Slow progress — Self-abase- ment — Sanctuary and social privileges. — The heathen — The Jews — Longing desires for their Conversion — Anxiety to visit Jerusalem, and labor in Palestine. — He unites with the church in A.mherst — Pecuniary destitution — Spiritual distresses — In- struction of Children. 9th. Sabbath evening. — Magnify the Lord, O my soul, and all the powers within. O how beautiful are the feet of those who bring the sound of salvation. Here thy church shines in glorious robes. Here glory is given to thee, in the highest. Rise, my soul, on the pinions of a dove, and come away to Jesus. O slumber not. November 27th. — Great temptations assail me ; the de- ceitfulness of the heart, the ''lust of the eye," and unholy desires, continually add to the black and already overgrown catalogue of my sins and blasphemies. The Lord is good ; his mercy has been more conspicuous than his justice to- wards me. Sabbath, dOth. — Heard Professor Otis in the morning, 3 26 MEMOIR OF THE »' In your patience possess ye your souls." Mr. Clark in the afternoon, " They will reverence my son." I am cold ; the Lord has taken away his Spirit. I do not de- lio-ht in his worship as I have formerly. What have I done, O my God, to offend thee so much? O pity me, for I am but a sinner and a man. O Jesus, feed me with^spirit- ual bread, and give me the water of life to drink. It has pleased the Lord to bear with me in a gentle man- ner during my illness, which continued about three weeks. O thank the Lord, my soul, for all his goodness, and forget not his loving-kindness. Sabbath morning, Dec. 27th. — Keep me from sinning against thee this day. Forbid that I should yield my members instruments of unrighteousness, because I have a hope of having passed from death unto life. But may 1 " press forward towards the mark of the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus." I pray thou wilt grant me health, and strength, and a retentive memory, with all wisdom that may be necessary to facilitate my studies, so hat at last I may become a shining light in thy church. January, 1324. — More than twenty -two years have passed by since I have had a being : but O how little progress have I made in the christian life. The probabili- ty is I shall not see as many more. O that I were wise — that I AYOuld but put on the whole armor of salvation. Sabbath morning, 1824. — When I consider myself an accountable being and free moral agent, and contrast the requisitions of God with my character, I find that to me there is nothing but condemnation. Out of my heart pro- ceed thoughts blasphemous in their nature, desires unlaw- ful in their tendency : a heart black as night, corrupt, de- formed, and hateful, as a cage of unclean birds. I will come to my God and my Savior, and at the foot of his cross look for mercy. Februanj 29th, 1824.— Fast-day for colleges and aca- demies. Met in the church— many very interesting remarks REV. JOHN R. m'dOWALL. 27 made. It was a day in which my soul was apparently caught up from earth a while to converse with its God. O what self-abasing views I had of the evil of my heart. No good thing can proceed from thence till Jesus wash it in his blood. Sabbath evening, 2Stk. — This night I was, by the rules of the United Brethren, called to take the lead in the ser- vices. Feeling that I had not walked according to the re- quisitions of the Gospel, I could not say to my brother, " Let me pull out the mote from your eye." The close of last term — subject of meditation. Many who then met with us are not with us now. Some we hope were sons and daughters of the Highest. There are some now in our number of a similar character. The eyes of the impenitent are upon us — the eyes of the brethren — of angels — of seraphims — yea, of God himself, are upon us. We are closely hedged up on every side. One dear brother observed, he did not know he was so cool till he visited a society near his father's, where was a revival of religion. We had better say but little of self: it is hazardous to speak of our elated feelings, because in a short time we may become like '* fine gold, dim^ It will give the adversary an opportunity to injure the divine cause. We complain at the close of every term of coldness. Do we feel what we say ? Is there not a profession of words while the heart does not assent ? Do we gain any thing by living a life of such stupidity ? Is it beneficial to our studies ? Does coldness promote happiness ? Will it not rather plant thorns in our pillow, and darken our pros- pects for eternity 1 Sabbath, 29th. — During the past week thousands of prayers have been offered up for us. The contrite and meek, the humble and lowly, wrestled no doubt for us. Let us come humbly and faithfully, trusting in God's sa- 28 MEMOIR OF THE cred promises, lest we grieve the holy Spirit, and he take no delight in us. * * # * * # Sabbath evening conference. — " Dear friends, your ap- pearance here this evening binds you to do all you can for the promotion of the cause of your divine Master. In order to enjoy the blessing, we must repent, and feel com- punction for our sins. There is nothing in our way but our wills. Is Christ in the way I He died to redeem us. Is God in our way ? He conceived the plan of our redemp. tion, and gave his own Son to die. Is the Holy Ghost in our way ? He strives with us. The Spirit says, Come. We are acting in a presumptuous manner, in refusing to comply. For one pennyworth of gold we sell the rubies, pearls, and diadems of heaven!" Saturday evening. — I do think it is my duty to complv (at least at present) with the customs of New-England, in relation to the evening that ought to be solemnized to the Lord. O God, thou see&t me; thou knowest that I have a vile heart, and unless thou dost bring deliverance I must perish. To-morrow is the day in which the dying love of Jesus is to be commemorated* I was proposed to the minis- ter some time since for admission as a member, and by him proposed to the church committee. But I have not gone forward as yet. Conviction tells me,, that if I have an in- terest in Christ I ought to manifest it before the world. But the late trouble in the parish with the pastor was one rea- son why I delayed. Sabbath morning. — In the midst of my most solemn de- votions evil thoughts enter my mind. O seat of corruption I When shall I be made free in the worship of God ; or shall I be only " a hewer of wood and a drawer of water," with- out being permitted to inhabit the holy naansion in the skies ? Have just attended the sanctuary, where the Lord's supper was admininistered. Although I am no member, REV. JOHN Rv M DOWALL. 29 yet I cannot let go my hope in Christ. If my hope be false, O God destroy it, and give me an evangelical one, and place my feet on the Rock of Ages. O was I an alien in the house of God this day ? To be numbered with the un- believers I was unwilling, and to intrude upon the sacred ordinances of Christ's dying love, by eating the bread and drinking the wine, I dare not. So I numbered myself with neither class, and brought myself into the state where Christ says none can come. Dreadful dilemma ! lOtL — Have had a strong desire to behold the day in which I shall preach Christ among the Gentiles. My heart was warmed by a history of Jerusalem by Mr. King. O Lord, hasten thou the day, and permit an unworthy worm of the dust to have some humble place in thy vineyard. lAth, Sabbath.-^How inestimable are all thy blessings, O my God ! Zion's King is delighted to spread his glory and his name through a ruined world. Here daily do I enjoy the company of his dear ones. The light of heaven is bursting on my mind, whilst darkness struggles hard to maintain its primeval hold. But let me lay hold on Jesus, and let him be to my soul the " Chiefest among ten thou- sand.'^ This day has the dear Mr. Clark contended ear- nestly for the •' faith once delivered to the saints," from these words: "What is truth?" O God> do manifest thy love to me, and remove all doubts from my mind. O Jerusalem 1 In thee is my soul bound up. When shall barbarous infidels cease to pollute thy holy, thrice holy por- tals ? How long art thou doomed to be a dormitory of vice ? How long shall popish superstition bind thy sacred mounts, Mahommedan delusion defile thy holy gates, or pagan su- perstition abound within thy circuit ? O come quickly, great God, and suffer not thy holy city to be trodden under foot by the Gentiles. Monday morning, 4 o'clock. — Dear Jesus, I have slept ^and awaked under thy care. My soul rejoices in all thou 3* 30 MEMOIR OF THE art doing for me. I commend my dear parents, brotliers and sister, into thy hand : and O that they might live- before thee ! Grant me health and strength this day to pur- sue my studies. Our beloved preceptor takes much pains to direct us m our spiritual concerns. Ssrely it ought to be our first aim to secure the salvation, of our souls before we meddle with polemic disputes. Jesus commands us to repent, and shall we be so foolish as to contend about doctrines when we neglect to obey this imperative injunction? March 2isi, — When I returned from York (Upper Canada,) to my father's I was the principal person by whom the Sabbath school was got up and supported. When I was about to leave them, I solicited the attention of one young man to that object, but his affections were alienated,- Many fears distressed ray mind, and since 1 arrived iathis- place I learned that they were not founded in fancy, for the school is no more. As this school, situated in^ my father's neighborhood^ was the pattern of six or seven other schools, I fear they will also suffer a like fate. My soul has been elevated by some late tidings fromi Jerusalem. The Jews are near my heart, but Jesus is nearer ! I weep for Israel ; 1 mourn for the house of Jacob. Lord, bring deliverance to Judah, and let there be a great gathering of the people to Immanuel. Has the Lord a work for me to do in Jerusalem ? Has he an embas- sy for me in that now benighted land ? O Jerusalem, Jeru- salem, shall I ever behold thee ? O city of the great King, shall I ever worship the Lord of glory within thy pre- cincts, and declare the Gospel to lost sinners ? Attended the house of worship this da}'^; coldly I went, indifferently I heard, and heedlessly I returned. Surely the Lord must be angry with me. O that he would look on me as he did on Peter ; it would cause my heart to bleed and my eyes to burst forth in a flood of tears. O Lord God, thou art able to subdue my heart and lead me REV. JOHN R. m'dOWALL. 31 after ihee. Must I die ? Must I live for ever after death ? Must I be happy or miserable, and that through a space of time to which there is no end "2 Ah, yes— yes, yes— it is so. O that the Holy Spirit would open my eyes, unstop my ears, and renew my heart ! It is vanity in me to ever think of meeting my God in peace, so long- as I continue to feed my fancy with vain and worldly objects. The heart is required ; not a small portion of the affections, but every affection. If, then, I have one thought that does not quad- rate with God, I am a sinner ; but instead of one, ten thou- sand, I might add, stain my garments. Now, as I know these things, the question arises, am I willing to break off my sins and turn unto God ? Promises are easily made, but the observance is difficult. I am bound by former Vows. These were not made by me before the world in the church of Christ, but before God and angels, and in my chamber. Some of these have been recorded by my own hand ; and, have I not reason to suppose, recorded by the angels in light, and will be treasured up by God unto the great day in which I shall be judged. Here am I; eternity before me ; Christ no longer my Prophet, my Priest and my Ki?ig, but my Judge ! ! ! April l5^.-^It gives me many, yes, very many pleasing thoughts to contemplate on the ministry. To think of vi- siting the tomb where Jesus lay, to preach the glad tidings of great salvation to the Jews at Jerusalem, fills me with joy unspeakable and full of glory. O Wolf, thou modern Paul ! were I but thy fellow-la- borer ! But O I dread the thought of dying without doing any good for Jerusalem. O Jesus ! may I do much good on earth before I am called home. Suffer me to trace the footsteps of Parsons, and adorn the profession of a chris- tian by all the zeal of Paul, love of John, and meekness of Moses. Eve. — This was the day appointed by government for a fast. The dear Mr. Clark unfolded to our view the abo- 82 MEMOIR OF THE minations of the earth. O may the Lord long sustain him to work faithfully in his vineyard ! April 4^A.— 'This is an interesting season of my life< As yet I have not made a profession of religion. If I am a disciple of Christ I should come out from the crowd who are carelessly treading the courts of God. This subject occupies my thoughts much, and O that it occupied them more. I fully believe it is my duty to join the church. Sabbath morning. — It is dangerous to approach the Lord with indifference. We may learn from Nadab and Abihu. God requires the chief place in my affections, and will not suffer a rival. It is just in God to do this. He has made us, and has a right to our services. Eveimig. — The motives by which we are influenced to act, determines the intrinsic merit of the act. Benevolence embraces not only the duty we owe to God and our neighbor, but also to ourselves. If I clothe the naked, feed the hungrJ^ and relieve the distressed, the act IS called benevolent. In the general acceptation of the term it may be true, but in the general acceptation it is founded in error. Self mMsi have no consideration in these acts. I may do many acts which the world calls virtuous, which in the sight of God may be abominable. If I give to get a name, it cannot be called benevolence. Some are induced to make a profession of religion to gain some tem- poral good. But God will find them out. O how dread- ful to fall into the hands of the living God ! 7lh, Saturday evening. — Attended the Society of United Brethren, in the academy. The 2d chapter of Revelation was read, and it suited our case, and ought to have caused us to return to God. The Scriptures require perfect obe- dience: yet I believe it is impossible to arrive at it fully in the flesh. The Bible tells us to be holy, as God is holy : and it is a duty to be so. It requires the utmost chastity — chastity that will extend to the very thoughts. It requires purity of life, simplicity of manners, and gentleness of dis- REV. JOHN R. m'dOWALL. 33 position. Now, there is not a man on the globe but breaks these commands. Now, these commands being broken, sub- ject us to the penalty of the law, which is death. O blessed be the name of Jesus, who has already paid the debt, and ail that he requires is that we should believe. 10^^, Sahbatk evening. — This has been the most im- portant day of my whole life, because of the offer I have made of myself to God. I called on the pastor and church committee, and being examined and admitted by them, was propounded for admission. And if I am yet a stranger to the covenant of grace, may I not be permitted to enter the portal, and commit so abominable a de^d. May 2, 1824. — This day I drew near, even before the altar of God, and took the covenant vows upon myself. Ministers, the church, the world witnessed. Christ and God heard the solemn vows of me, a poor worm of the dust. Four dear sisters in Christ bowed with me, and joined the church of the living God. I cannot keep this covenant of myself. O may God strengthen me. Lord, I cast myself on thee. \Sth. — My situation in every respect is desperate. I have but eleven dollars in my purse, and am between three and four hundred miles from home and friends. As to spiritual affairs, I am in a more desperate condition. I am led away by temptation. Let me view my condition in whatever light I will, nothing but impenetrable clouds hang over my mind.* * In reading the private journals of our most eminent christians, we generally fin my Ciod, thou Cuxl of all grace, lift up my feet from the pit and establish my goings. Refine my af- fections by the power oi' the Holy Spirit, and create with- in me a new heart. '20/A. — For some time past I have been led seriously to think of my situation. Considering how prone I am to stray away from Liod by yielding to irregular desires, frequently am I induced to believe that as yet I am but a polished hypocrite, Puring the revival in college and in the city I did commit known sin. I felt deeply wound- ed at being reproached for sin by a young man from Ca- nada ; but these feelings soon wore away. Perhaps 1 have committal so many sins that God will leave me joined to n\y lusts. 1 know my duty. I do it not. I do commit sin. 1 fear I am deceived. Vile wretch ! O vile wretch that 1 am ! Polluted heart ! wilt thou yet draw me along to hell ? Thou, OCrod, would be just to send me there for ever ! Saw a good looking, active man to-day under arrest for stealing. l\Hir creature! how he felt, trying to excul- p{ite himself Stolen ^\-aters, though sweet at first, are bit- ter atU'r drinking. O how good God is to me! He lias given me atlec- ticnate parents. They manifest that atlection to me in dif- REV. JOHN R. m'dOWALL. G7 fcrent _^\vays ; not by word only, but by direct acts. Ac- tions arc sure marks of feeling-, and hence they love me, October lG//i, Sabbath eve. — O 1 have had great searcii- ings of heart since sunset. I feel that if God should send me to hell I could not complain. My sins have been set in order before me. 1 do feel myself to be a wretched creature. Am I to die ? When ? to-night ? Perhaps before to-morrow's sun may go down I may be in hell. Yes, I may. O Jesus, canst thou save me, a poor sinner ? I have sinned against \\g\\{. Is there nothing for me but a fear- ful looking for of indignation that shall devour the adver- saries ? If it be so, it is altogether just and right. O thou Spirit, I have so often offended and insulted thee that thou (lost vindicate thy law in punishing sin, even in John M'Dovvall, the unholy, vile, the polluted sinner. A little before the term closed, being in feeble Iieallh, T visited Ballston. The waters I thought conducive to my health. On my journey I passed the place where my fa- ther was born — where his parents died — where his parents sleep. Solemn thoughts occupied my mind. It was Sa- turday, the Jewish Sabbath ; a peculiar sanctity seemed to be attached to the place and time. On the Sabbath 1 re- turned to the very spot owned by my ancestors, and lec- tured in the forenoon to a small assembly, in the place of a Baptist elder, and in the after part of the day to a very crowded house. Considerable attention and feeling. At the close of the day I returned to the Lake, but was disap- pointed in getting up a meeting for prayer, Jan. 10^/i, 1827. — About three weeks previous to the •lose of the last term I left college to visit my parents. 1 had been absent about three years and one month from the home of my childhood. Joyous was the meeting under the roof of the old home. Tears witnessed the flow of a mother's aflection ; the trembling voice of an aged father bade me welcome, as his withering hand embraced mine. I need not speak of brothers very particularly. The 68 MEMOIR OF THE youngest I had seen but seldom, acted as if his heart was identified with his brother's. My oldest brother had ob- tained a hope several months before. My only sister was at the house of her lately deceased grandfather. Anxiety ro see me before his death often evinced itself by his fre- quently mentioning my name. In hopes of seeing him be- fore he was cut down, I left college early last term, and while pressing onward to the place, the sad news of his death reached me. CHAPTER XI. Thoughts on the revivals — Trials concerning leaving the Dutch Church— Deep sense of sin— Letters— Ministerial qualifications, January \Uh. — The revival in the city has assumed an interesting aspect. Many have lately obtained hopes. There are a few under conviction. A dear brother has been requested to stay from the city meetings, because he occupies too much time in exhortation. I was requested to attend their meetings, but do not think it my duty. Pro- fessors are beginning to indulge in a censorious spirit. They object to any one's speaking over five minutes, and consider it improper for any one to meditate upon the sub- ject. they speak of They wish a man to tell nothing more than the impressions he may have received in the room. No minister, in a revival, can act without assistants. To secure this, care should be taken that the feelings of be- lievers be not wounded, nor their affections alienated by any rashness of the clergyman. He must communicate his designs, and show and explain his views and plans to influential individuals. He must ask their advice, consult REV. JOHN R. m'dOWALL. 69 their feelings, and so shape his proceedings, that in those things that are lawful he may become all things to all men. Besides, he must have a good education, and a good heart, and a profound knowledge of human nature. I^th. — A fast this day was observed by a part of the students: the other part attended to their usual duties. Indeed, the faculty take little or no pains to promote god- liness. Though by other colleges the day was observed, yet by Union college it could be passed over. The fa- culty of this college will not even liberate the students from the regular collegiate duties. The college is dis- missed on celebrated public days. I have received my college bill and account of my standing as a scholar. It is the third, and only the third just bill I have had since in college. This bill is about midway place in my class. Sickness is the cause. April 26th. — My heart is desperately wicked ; I am often led astray. My employment is but little. I take some delight in looking over my diary. Attended a college prayer-meeting. At the close of the meeting I felt ashamed to lift up my head ; could I have secretly absconded, joyous would it have been to me. M}'' feelings are inexpressible. Shall I leave the Dutch Church ? O God ! to thee for direction I look. Mai/ I4th. — Conversed with a dear brother, and observ- ed to him, I felt as if my cofEn was near. He thought so too, and advised me to leave college immediately. Jesus appeared uncommonly near to me this afternoon about the setting of the sun. 20th. — Health is better. Went to Ballston Springs yes- terday ; had a dreadful exhibition of the wickedness of my heart. O the restraining grace of God ! I look upon the adulterer, the murderer, with pity and disgust; but were it not for the restraining grace of God, what would I not be- come? God of grace keep my feet in an even place. May dOtk — One of my classmates called at my room to J. R. M'Dowall, who, though he be dead, yet liveth in the affections of multitudes, re- deemed, disenthralled, and saved from lowest depths of degradation and misery, and in the hearts of others, who sympathized in his sufferings, tears, and labors, and have poured out their prayers with strong cries and tears that the God of purity would sustain and carry him on in his work. As some of the most interesting incidents in his history have occurred in this State, and are perhaps not generally known to the christian public, I have taken the liberty of mentioning some of these, which, if you deem proper for publication, and have not already obtained the facts, you may use as you think proper. I have before me the records of the Providence Tract Society, which contain the first information respecting him in this State, He was sent here by the American Tract Society, as their agent, in May, 1828. He continued his labors until March, 1829. For an account of these labors, with their results, I refer you to the Fourth Annual Re- port of the Providence Tract Society. For the manner in which these duties were discharged, I refer you to a letter addressed to Wm. A. Hallock, Corresponding Secretary American Tract Society, March, 1829, by our board of managers, in which the most perfect satisfaction is ex- pressed. I find also on the records of this Society, a vote of thanks to Mr. J. R. M'Dowall, for his faithful services in the Tract cause during the past year. In the summer of 1829 the Rhode Island Sunday School Union, contemplating efforts for the establishment of Sun- day Schools throughout the State, turned their attention to Mr, M'Dowall, and appointed a committee to secure his he was then destitute, but his generosity had bestowed it where he found it was needed, and he was ever mindful of the injunction of the Savior: '' He that hath two coats, impart to him that hath none." 88 MEMOIR OF THE services. He came here again in October, 1829. For the manner in wliich he operated in this cause, I refer you to the fifth and sixth report of the Rhode Island Sun- day School Union. G. Richmond. In the spring of 1828 the Corresponding Secretary, Mr. Stephen J. Wardwell, wrote to New-York, to the Corresponding Secretary of the American Tract Society, to furnish them with an agent to form societies and dis- tribute Tracts in the State of Rhode Island. In answer to this, Mr. Hallock Avrote a letter, of which the following is an extract. My dear Brother, — The bearer, Mr. M'Dowall, has engaged in the service of the Society for six months. He is a graduate of the college at Schenectady. We have requested him to begin his eiforts in Rhode Island, and in connection with your auxiliar5% He is well recommended, and is unquestionably a truly devoted, pious young man, who, we hope, will do much good, especiall}'- in forming auxiliaries wherever they can be established throughout your State. I hope your board or committee will give him the wis- est direction for accomplishing the greatest amount of good. He has, I think, much of the true spirit of an apostle, and where he can do nothing else, I hope he will distribute Tracts gratuitously. Your board will under- stand that the American Society supports Mr. M'Dowall on this agency. We should be glad if he could visit every neighborhood in the State. If you can, please find some christian place where Mr> M'Dowall can lodge while in Providence. May 27th, 1828. A meeting of the Board was held at Providence, and Mr. J. R. M'Dowall, an agent of the American Tract Society, was present. They write, Mr. M'Dowall has come to this place to act as an agent, under REV. JOHN R. k'dOWALL. 80 fjbe direction and with the counsel and advice of the Board, to visit the different towns in this State, and en- deavor to form Auxiliary Tract Societies therein. August 6lh, 1828. — A quarterly meeting of the Board was held, at which Mr. M' Do wall was present, and made some very interesting and encouraging statements of his operations in different places which he has visited since his residence in this State. Ifi March, 1829, Mt. M'Dowall presented the Fourth Annual Report, in which is contained many interesting facts relative to his labors, which testify that his untiring efforts had been signally blest. He visited the cottages of the poor, wherever he could find them, in the destitute parts of Rhode Island. Traveled much on foot, and his plain, unaffected appearance, both in manners and dress, made for him a welcome reception into families little ac- customed to receive visits from the great and noble of this world. In a little notice which he made at that time, he says — " Sitting by the way-side upon a rock to gather fresh strength for my journey, leaning my head upon my staff, I thought on the way my Master had thus far led me, and the future prospects that awaited me. My feet were swollen and very sore, my knee was painful, and I felt that it was impossible to reach my place of destination. , I had walked many miles that day, and was well nigh ex- hausted with fatigue and hunger." A few days after this he ^^^nt to an auction, and for a small sum purchased a horse very humble in appearance. With this he performed the remainder of his agency, and Tio one, however secluded, feared, when he approached, that a " great or grand man^'' was coming to mock at his poverty. Well do the mothers and children remember M'Dowall, and with the deepest feeling do they relate his tender ap- peals to their children to love and obey their parents, and give their best days to the God who made them. It was 8» 90 MEMOIR OF THE remarked of him when in Rhode Island, that he seldom, if ever, visited a family, but he left some impress of himself which could never be effaced, and which was worthy to be remembered. A few extracts from his journal while in Rhode Island, will give the reader a little specimen of his labors while there. May 26th, 1828, Monday.— Took the steamboat for Providence. Defended the character of Dr. Beach against the aspersions of an Unitarian Episcopalian. Learned more of lotteries. Tuesday. — Arrived at Providence. Called on the Secre- tary and the President of the Society. President called a meeting to attempt the formation of an Auxiliary Tract So- ciety in each town in the State, and to invite the friends of religion to cordially co-operate with them in the effort to accomplish the object. Wednesday. — Left my baggage at Mr. Wilcox's.* Rode to Pawtucket. Kindly received by the Rev. Mr. Shurtleff, who gave me an account of the usefulness of a Tract in his congregation. Thursday. — Donation to the Sunday school in Paw- tucket. Gave Tracts to the ladies to promote the object of the Society. Returned to Providence. Went to Pawtuxet, Natuck, Coventry, Washington, Centreville, Greenville. Sunday, addressed the Sunday school scholars in Cen- treville. Distributed Tracts. Monday, East-Greenwich ; Tuesday, North Kingston ; Wednesday, South Kingston ; Visited Stonington Borough, Hopkington, distributed Tracts in the school-house; went to Pavircatuck bridge, lectured, ♦ This family remember and speak of him in the most affectionate and christian manner. His early rising, his ceaseless energy in his work, hia kind and faitliful admonitions to the children, are kept in the liveliest remembrance. Mrs. W — - has kept a favorite hymn which Mr. McDowall often read when in the family, and penciled his name at the bottom as the language of his heart, and which seem- ed in a peculiar manner applicable to himself. REV. JOHN R. m'dOWALL. 91 distributed Tracts ; went from town to town, and in some towns from house to house, till every town in Rhode Island was visited. Returned to Providence ; formed an auxiliary in Mr. Waterman's church — twenty-seven sub- scribers on the spot. It was an interesting season. More good feeling exhibited in this place than usual. Here I saw the tear glisten in the eye, lovely aflection beam in many a face. O how joyous such a sight ! how cheering, how bracing! I was encouraged to go on in this good work. Went to Borrilville ; delivered a discourse at Chepacket. Distributed Tracts in each place — some disturbance. Dr. S retired from the meeting; soon returned; at the close said, he would read a discourse that would show the Tract business was all hypocrisy — a scheme to catch mo- ney. The letters of a few Free-will Baptists, who were known by persons present, of different ministers and gen- tlemen of different denominations, and of Mr. Shaw from Chepacket, confuted the doctor so completely that he be- came silent, and soon left the house. The ladies take hold of this work with great efficiency. Many are deeply interested ; things appear well. "You have, say many, done more than any agent that has pre- «!eded you." 13/A. — Attended a meeting in the first Baptist vestry in Providence. Spoke on the Christian desire to do some- thing for the production of gospel fruit. Slept but little, heard every bell from one to six; was quite unwell. Went to Sterling, in Connecticut ; staid with Elder B ; walked to his residence from Chesunt-hill, in Killingly, Connecticut; road rough; feet blistered; to walk is quite impossible ; know not how I shall get along. Elder Bur- ringham carried me to the gate. Esquire Holden's son carried me to the offset, then rode to Providence upon a leathern trunk lashed behind upon a stage ; was enveloped in a cloud of dust. Thus I rode into Providence. 92 MEMOIR OF THE I7lh. — Went to Scituate, Coventry; attended Elder Stone's bread-breaking. Wednesday. — Lectured at the Hope Factory, a professor of religion told me he wished to search it to the bottom, and see if it were not a speculation. The Free-will Bap- tist Magazine loas . How the devil does sometimes get the •upper hand of God's people, and use them to build up his •own kingdom. One minister objected to life members and directors being made by donations ; to the publishing of names and the sums given, because that would induce men to give from impure motives, also impenitent men would give. And can you devise a better way ? If we do not publish the opposer will say we pocket the money. Am I to ask a man whether he is a christian before I consent to re ceive his free will offerings ? We should impress upon men the necessity of correct motives for action, and leave matters with them and their God. 28^A, 29/A. — Confined most of the time to my room. ZOth. — Sailed to Warren, and walked thence to Bristol. ^\st. — Delivered a lecture in the Catholic congrega- tional church to a large audience, composed of Episcopali- ans, Baptists, Congregationalists, and Methodists. Sept. 20th. — Attended general muster, and gave many Tracts. Returned to Providence ; Deacon Stone gave me a passage with his son. Yesterday very tired and sick; had no dinner ; walked much. Onthe llth. — Formed the Rhode Island State Anti- Swearing Society, and opened a subscription to print and distribute, in Rhode Island, 50,000 copies of the Swearer's Prayer. Began on Saturday night to board with Mrs. Bolles.* « This lady was called on, since Mr. M'Dowall's decease, to make inquiries of her acquaintance with him as a Christian while a mem ber in her family. Her answer was, "1 cannot speak much of Mr- M'Dowall, my feelings overpower me. His godly conversation. REV. JOHN R. m'dOWALL. 93 Monday, \^tk. — Went to Oneyville, to Warwick, Cen- treville, Washington, Jackson, and returned to Providence sick ; arrived at half past 12 at night. October 2Sth. — Went to Centre ville for my chaise and horse; returned, detained by the Rhode Island Bible So. ciety. Procured subscribers for the Rhode Island Union, for the promotion of the reverend use of the name of God- Procured subscribers for the Anti-swearing Society. November ith. — Began to act as the agent of the Rhode Island Bible Society. November 1th. — Sailed with Capt. Cohoon to Block Island. He was kind and charged nothing. Left Block Island in an open boat for London. \^th. — Came to Newport sick. PuoviDEKCE, March 17, 1829. Rev. VVm. A. Ilallock, Corresponding Secretary of the American Tract Societj-. Sir, — Mr. J. R. M' Do wall, who has for some time been employed as agent for the American Tract Society within the state of Rhode Island, having relinquished the agency, is novv about to return to New- York. The Board of Directors of the Providence Religious Tract Society feel it incumbent on them to express, through you, to your Board of Managers, their grateful sense of the kind regard which they have manifested towards the wants of this Society, and the many obligations we are under for the very efficient aid which we have received through the instrumentality of said agent, in establishing a permanent depository in this town, subject to our immediate direction and control ; also to testify to the untiring zeal and inde- his faithful labors — his early rising, and his interest for my children, «re ever before me when his name is mentioned ; and my children, though young when he was with us, remember him with the kindest atfection. 94 MEMOIR OF THE fatigable labor of said agent, in endeavoring to excite a Jiew interest in the cause of Tracts throughout the State. At the time he commenced his labors among us our citizens generally had taken but little interest in the cir- culation of Tracts, save a few societies which were insti- tuted with very limited means for the accommodation of christians, for particular religious bodies. The Tract sub- ject had not, in its most interesting character, been pre- sented to the public view ; and indeed, in many of our coun- try towns the inhabitants were principall}"- ignorant of the nature and existence of such institutions, consequently the first proposition made to them, with a view to obtain their co-operation in this benevolent design, was regarded in numerous instances with jealousy. Many good people considered their utility somewhat doubtful, and fears were entertained lest they should have a tendency to promote sectarian views ; and in the minds of others strong preju- dices existed against all such institutions, as having for their origin ambitious or speculative motives. Under these peculiar circumstances the exertions of your agent have been very perplexing, and without divine assistance the difficulties which he has had to encounter would seem to be almost insurmountable ; but this aid has been afforded him, and these difficulties he has been oble in a great measure to overcome. You will perceive, by referring to the Report of this So- ciety, embracing its operations for the past year, a copy of which will be transmitted to you by our secretary, the success which has attended his labors, particularly in the establishment of numerous auxiliary societies within our borders, many of which, though small at present, yet we trust will ere long become more flourishing and very effi- cient within their own particular districts. Owing to a combination of circumstances, partly from facts enumerated above, partly from the heretofore unex- plored state of our country towns in reference to matters REV. JOHN R. M DOWALL. 95 of this kind and an acquaintance with the habits and views of their inhabitants, the agent has been subjected ta some pecuniary losses, which, we are fully sensible, for the credit of our State, ought to be remunerated. But as this Society is yet in its infancy, and as our calls have been very frequent upon the liberality of our citizens for help to build up the Depository, and for the gratuitous distribution of Tracts, we are at present wholly unable to do for him what we are conscious ought to be done ; yet we hope the peculiar circumstances of his case will be duly considered by your Board, trusting that by the blessing of Divine Providence, ere long the hearts of our wealthy citizens will be more generally inclined to wards us, and that, together with our own continued exer- tions in this benevolent object, our feeble efforts will meet with such success as shall enable us to obtain some surplus funds, which we can communicate to the aid of your Treasury, and thus assist in promoting the grand design, and discharge the obligations we are under to the Parent Institution for its repeated favors. Done at a special meeting of the Board of Directors of the Providence Auxiliary Religious Tract Society, held at Providence, March 17th, 1829. Signed by William C. Snoav, President. ' Samuel C Snow, Secretary. The fifth Report of the Rhode Island Sunday School Union again mention the labors of Mr. M' Do wall in the fall of 1829. The Report says: "In view of the impor- tance of the Sabbath School cause, and anxious to extend its advantages, your Board of Managers accepted, com- missioned, and sustained the agency of Mr. J. R. M'Dowall, who visited this State at the request of the American Sun- day School Union, as their Agent, charged to promote the interests of your Society." In his Report he says : " My labors commenced on the first day of October, and closed 96 JIEMOIR or THE on the lOlh of November. In my various journeys I traveled about 200 miles in Rhode Island. The amount raised by subscription is $280. I made it, both in private circles and public assemblies, a leading object to communi- cate intelligence to those to whom I supposed it would be useful. The effect can only be known by the future." The Report further states, " There are about forty Sab- bath-schools in Rhode Island, and about four hundred school districts." Mr: M'Dov.-all has been engaged to superintend the agency the approaching season, and to associate with him a sufficient number of well qualified agents to assist in the work. In accordance with this design, the sixth Annual Report states, Mr. J. R. M'Dowall was employed as general Agent of the Ameiican Sunday School Union, assisted by Messrs. Boggs, Armstrong, Andrews, Mines, and Alex- ander, from the Theological Seminary, Princeton, New- Jerscv; and Messrs. Luther, Crawford, and Horace A. Wilson, of Brown University, whose united labors amounted to fifty-five weeks. In the month of May last, 1833, they commenced their labors, and during that and the succeeding month visited every part of the State. The zeal and devotedness in which they engaged in the work, and the ability with which they discharged the duties assigned them, is best learned from the results which have flowed from their undertaking. From the Report of Mr. M'Dowall, received at the close of his agency in July last, we learn that during the time in which they were employed 83 new schools were formed, aux- iliary to the State Union, and 53 schools not auxiliary, making a total at the close of this agency of 164 schools, 106 of which were in connection with this Society, show- in"- an increase in the short space of two months of 83 schools, 388 teachers, 3,462 scholars, and additional libra- ries containing upwards of 9000 volumes. REV. JOHN R. m'dOWALL. 97 From this account, the good effects that have flowed from the employment of agents will at once be under- stood. The result of the experiment has more than realized the anticipations of the most sanguine, and every friend of the Institution must rejoice at such success.* Having terminated his labors in Providence as agent for the American Tract Society, he returned to Princeton. for the purpose of resuming his Theological studies. We here return to his journal. CHAPTER XIV. Return to Princeton — Reflections on various subjects — Reading Ser- mons — African school — Joined Princeton Presbytery — Appetite — Visits in African families — On inducing people to read the Bible through — Pleasant interview — Inquiries to know duty respect- ing future labors — Left Princeton for New- York — Visit to Five Points — Horrid scenes and depravity exposed — Appeal to ladies — An African's excuse not to attend meeting — Called to see a corpse — Preached Christ — John Stratford — Labors continued — Sailors — Lotteries. Princeton, July, 1830. Returned from New England on an agency for Rhode Island Sunday school. Was requested to accept the ap- ♦ In no place do we find the labors of M'Dowall so highly appre- ciated, while he was living, as at Rhode Island. It may be said of him that his " praise is in all the churches," wherever he M'enl. Though some derided, and some opposed, and many were astonished, and a few feared he had come to " turn the world upside down," and a remnant set themselves in battle ai^ray, yet their hostility was of short duration. This they have abundantly testified in the many kindnesses they have shown him during his protracted sufferings in New- York. Relief has often reached him from that source v/hen greatly needed ; and not long before his death he mentioned to a friend the great obligation he was under to that people for remem- bering him in his low estate, and added, " I have full proof I have friends in Rhode Island.'' 9 98 MEMOIR OF THE pointment of general agent for the state of Tennessee, i Story of a poor girl — A word to parent? — Evct)h>g at the Tract House — Leaving the school — A short summary of his doings — Con- versation with a wicked woman — Close preaching — Visit with Mr. Wheelwright among the abandoned — Talk to a young man. Papacy and Paganism are sisters. Paganism has the rightof priority of birth. Papacy is the younger sister. She has all the insignia of her older sister. Indeed, she adopted them to disrobe the Gospel of some of its unai- tractive forms, and to take away its asperity to the carnal heart. This, the rites, ceremonies, feasts, festivals, and all the regalia of the Rotunda at Rome, that Pantheon abo- mination of abominations, that congregated mass of heathen idols, with tV-cir various modes of worship, became the hot- 120 MEMOIR OF THE bed of Romish abominations and impurities. Since the alliance of these two pretended religions approximate in nature nearly to an identity, we should readily infer a si- milarity of effect on the observance of these two systems. That inference is justified in the fact that both worship idols Principles influence conduct. The same principles pro- duce the same effects invariably. The effects of both are the same on moral conduct. Neither requires, and neither produces the peaceable fruits of righleousness. It is useless to fill ray note-book with facts which daily occur, to prove my assertions. When professing christians have the written word of God, and substitute for it the doctrines and command- ments of men, infidels and hypocrites will abound and wax worse and worse ; scoffers will multiply and dogs grow insolent; and impurity fill our streets and enter our chambers. In the main, men think they do not need the aid of the Holy Spirit to create a new heart in them, supposing that their hearts are already good, and that they have all the ability requisite to any moral changes. How needless to preach to men, and urge with vigor that they are able to create new hearts. It is but flattering the evil; and more- over, it is an unscriptural and false doctrine. The great difiiculty, I daily find, is to persuade men of their impotence. Lord, when shall the watchmen of Israel be holy and devout men ? When shall the day come, Avhen thy church shall be fed by shepherds that love the truth, as recorded in thy word ? O hasten the day that shall shine on ministers whose hearts thou hast sanctified ; the day when holy ministers and holy professors, walking hy faith, shall form one holy army, clad in the armor of heavenly truth, to go forth under the guidance of the Holy Spirit, to fight the battle of King Jesus ? O ! let that day come speedily. Visited the Refuge, conversed with one of those unfor- REV. JOHN R. M DOWALL. 121 tunate women who left the Five Points last May. She told me one female had gone from that place to Heaven. She appeared to be on the track o f the one who preceded her. I say appeared to be on the track, for though her dialect is that of Canaan, it is quite possible she may either be a deceiver or a deceived one, since the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked. The others were called. I read the 51st Psalm, and commented on it. They listened, and some shed tears. One fatal step more and you are gone for ever. Leave this, and go to the Five Points again, and I will leave you there; I will pass you and plead for the salvation of others. Here you are; all that is necessary is provided for you; we bring you here that you may repent of your sins, and prepare for heaven. With Jesus there is redemption for all those who put their trust in him ; Jesus invites you, entreats you, commands you to return. An outward refor- mation will not cure your disease ; the disease lies deep in your heart. Your hearts are corrupt, that corruption must be taken away before you can become holy women. The heart is the principal thing ; the new heart which you want is that one which God creates. David could not make a new heart for himself, and therefore he prayed to God to make it for him. The new heart which you will make would be but a new polish for a sepulchre of all manner of dead men's bones and rottenness. Let your sins trouble you till your hearts break ; this is the way — a bitter one it is — but is the only way. " A broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou Avilt not despise." "The bruised reed and the smoking flax he will not quench, until he send forth judg- ment unto victory." This is a weariness to the flesh for the present, but joy and gladness come in the morning. " If you feel no sorrow and heart-rending here, no heart- strings bursting with agony and sorrow, you will feel keener heart-rending where hope enters not. Come, then, to the Lamb of God ; look to the Son and ye shall live. One 11 122 MEMOIR OF THE of them said she had been unfortunate; that her relation? often reminded her of it ; that she consequently left home and came to reside with an aunt in the city ; that her aunt, •treated her with neglect : that she was wounded in spirit ; that her society was cut off, and she became intimate with a young woman who proved to be lewd, and led her into the society of young men ; that a gentleman in the city carried her to the Five Points, where she boarded one year ; that her manner of life was awfully distressing ; that Mrs. Pierson invited her to leave the place: that she promised, but did not immediately leave ; that her mind was in great agony so long as she remained at this place after the promise was made ; that she had found mercy, in the Refuge, at the cross of Christ, and that it hurt her to talk or think of her former life. O that every parent whose daughter has been unfortu- nate could hear the story of this poor repenting girl, and learn to spare their feelings. To tantalize with feelings is cruel and unchristian : it is never done to reclaim, but always to vex and degrade the subject of misfortune. This story might profit the relatives of those unfortunate fe- males in teaching them to be merciful. It might profit young ladies of unsullied character, by suggesting cau- tion in the selection of associates. It might be useful to gentlemen in apprising them it is impossible to conceal from the world such deeds of darkness as led this unfor- tunate woman finally to the Refuge, or to shelter themselves from the odium of a virtuous people, or to keep their hands unspotted with blood in appearing before the judgment seat of Jesus Christ. The dram-seller was angry to-day ; the truths of the Bible were declared in his shop : he came in storming. " Preach no false Gospel here ;" he took my brother by the arm, led him to the door, and pushed him out. Two females in the street said necessity compelled them to leave that place ; they consented to go to the place REV, JOHN R. m'dOWALL. 123 to-morrow: mercy provided for such women. But how these women patrol the streets, seeking to destroy silly youth. Their description in Proverbs is true to the minutest iota: they are disgustingly impure. O their language ! O their actions ! How fallen ! Saturday. — In the evening at the Tract House. It appeared some measures unknown to me were taken by my friends some time since, which I am utterly unable to explain. Read part of this diary. Made some remarks at the meeting and retired. A friend presented me with a new hat. Sabbath. — Attended the school in the morning. A series ef circumstances induced me to leave the school and work at the Five Points. It appears a man is ready to occupy the field ; to labor all the time ; to superintend the Sabbath school ; to preach three times a day; to wear out, and not to rust out; that we do not manage in the best manner ; that a society has been formed since I entered on that field of labor, which has voluntarily assumed the whole work; that that society is competent to the work, &c. This man, it is said, is in the city, and has been for some weeks, yet I have not seen him at the Five Points. My directions from the city mission, for which, in con- nection with Mr. M , I have been laboring, are^to occupy no field on which another society has entered. Heard Mr. M'Cartee in the afternoon, and Mr. Wood- bridge in the evening. My feelings are very peculiar and painful ; it is from the Lord : my consolation is drawn from the fact — God rules and does all his pleasure. In summing up the interests of the school, it is worthy of remark, it was, four weeks since, opened with seventeen scholars. More than one hundred attended on the last Sabbath afternoon. I superintended it. Our teachers in- creased in proportion. I have visited, and caused to be visited, several ministers of the Gospel and rulers, to 124 MEMOIR OF THE gain their confidence and support. Those who aided me in the instruction of the school did the same. My brother and I have visited hundreds of families in regular succession, conversing, reading the Scriptures, anc^ praying with many of them. We sent nine unhappy females to the alms-house by Alderman Strong ; seven to the Magdalen Refuge ; seve- ral are on the point of leaving this capital of Satan for the Refuge. A good work is already begun. The most of our prayer-meetings were held in the houses of harlots. At the corner house between Anthony and Orange, second story, we held meetings daily for a long time. It is a colored and respectable family. They ought to be compensated for the use of the room. We have distributed Tracts in the hedges, highway?, lanes, and alleys of the city. To all the families in six entire blocks of building, including several hundred fa- milies, we distributed the " Seventh Commandment," by Dr. Dwight. Many of these families said it was the first Tract they ever had. The effect is obvious to every visiter, in the order and decorum which begin to prevail. Many persons are seri- ously disposed. The work is of the Lord, and to his name be the glory. October 25tk — One of those unfortunate women to whom the truth has been powerfully presented, we found in a brothel kept by a negro. Tears have often flowed down her cheeks. She is a " strange woman." We have seen her weep and sob bitterly for several minutes in suc- cession ; we have heard her confess the extreme depravity of her heart, and immediately after curse vehemently. She has often been heard to say — " I am not my own keeper ; the devil is my keeper ; I am his ; he rules me ; I cannot rule myself; I am lost. REV. JOHN R. m'dOWALL. I'Zj None but God Almighty can change my heart. I have a wish to be saved and get out of this place, but my heart is inclined to stay here. And how can I change? Yoi6 cannot change my heart ; / cannot ; 710 man can '•:hange it." " True, for since a being of a fixed nature cannot, by the constitution of its being, produce a being possessing a nature different from its own, seeing it would imply a contradiction, viz. that a being could cease to exist in one nature at its pleasure, and to exist immediately on that in a hew nature, with new powers. You say, no man can change your heart. Think bow desperate your •disease is ; think of that eternal gloom that hangs over your prospects; all that lean say or do can bring no re- lief; you are sick and nigh unto death : — that death of never-dying misery in the black abodes of Beelzebub." '* You hear of Jesus who had shed his blood for the remission of sin, and your heart hates him; what ingra- titude can equal the ingratitude of your wicked hearts ? Your heart is destitute of holiness as a corpse is of life. You have heard of the Holy Spirit which Jesus has sent into the world to convince of sin, yet your heart is so wicked you cannot ask in sincerity that God would give you that spirit. O what a heart ! you say the devil keeps it; indeed he does keep it, and he has fortified it; it is his throne, he sits in it ; he rules you, it is true ; you are a •child of the devil ; you are an enemy of God. If Mary had seven devils, how many legions possess you? What a heart 1 it loves sin so well, it chooses to dwell with the devil and be his cruel subject. It chooses the society of the impure, the profane, of dogs, of sorcerers, of liars, of thieves, and of murderers, to the society of the pure, and of Jesus, our great God and Savior. What a heart ! chooses to be full of all manner of impure thoughts, feel- ings, affections and desires, so that one good thought can- -aot find a place where to lodge in it. Your heart has a* 126 MEMOIR OF THE thrown off all restraint of every kind ; you give vent to those feelings, thoughts and desires, which lie slumbering in every unregenerate heart. Woman, the devil has demolished every fortress public opinion reared around you for defence. O what a heart ! you are dead in trespasses and sins. Jesus must give you life, or you will never have it. " Christ died for the ungodly. You can bear no holy fruit so long as you are not grafted into Christ, the living vine. Out of him it is impossible to please God. Out of Christ, God is a consuming fire. Though you have no power to do good, you have much power to do evil ; you have power to destroy yourself; power to make your heart as wicked as you will ; power to lead the wicked on in in- creasing strides to perdition ; power to be a partaker of the sins of others, for God will impute multitudes of sin to you you never personally committed. Think of the men you have seduced, beguiled into your coils, and led to the chambers of the dead. Your guests are in the depths of hell. " None who ever enter your gates return to take hold on life ; you sit at the door, you pace the streets, you dance in obscene mazes ; you hunt for the precious soul at the corners of the streets, in the lanes, and in the hedges and high-ways, and brothels, and dram-shops, and card-tables, and theatres, and circuses. You do it by day, you do it by night. Degraded you are ; to degrade yourself more and more you are determined." " There is no necessity for it ; relief is offered, you spurn it. O woman, woman, think on your ways, and turn your feet unto the testimonies of the Lord. Yet you say it is useless to talk or preach to you ; why are you bent on ruin ? Do you mean to brave the terrors of the Almighty? Do you mean, single-handed and alone, to breast the flood of the fiery pit ? Do you mean to imbrue your hands and dip your feet in a Savior's blood ? Do you mean to REV. JOHN R. M DOWALL. 127 harden your heart, to stop your ears, to bury care and re- jTiorse in strong drink and dissipation ?" "Merciful news sound in your ears; you do not hear; you do not read the Bible; you do not pray without wrath or doubting. The Spirit wields his own word of truth, and makes it the power of God unto salvation, or of death unto death. Which shall that word be to you, life or death ? Think before you further go." Attended a meeting of the directors of the City Tract Society ; by request stated some particulars relative to Tract operations at the Five Points. Mr. Wheelwright walked with us through some streets in and near the Five Points. It was between ten and eleven P.M. We entered a house ; the girls, four in number, looked on us with dread, and began to fall back rapidly towards a door, when our friend Mr. W. said, " We are come to pray with you.'! But they were gone in a trice, save one, who stood dumb as a statue, while the rapid changes of her countenance indicated the troubled state of her heart. We spake to the gamblers at the table. They cursed ; all was tumult and confusion. The master of the house, a young man, said, " 1 must make a living. If I make it, it matters not how." The mistress had no less trouble than the girls. She was asked, " Is not the Penitentiary the place where such a house gives ground to lodge you before morning?" Here her husband, rushing through the crowd, ex- claimed, *' What do you say ? Do you say you will put my wife in the Penitentiary before morning?" " I say, you expose yourself, your wife, and all you have in the house, to be carried to the watchhouse, and 128 MEMOIR OF TKE thence to the Peiiilentiar}'. You think it is none of our busi- iiess what sort of a house you keep* You mistake. These houses are the greatest curse lo our country. If no person would protect and encourage these strange women, neces- sity would compel them to be virtuous. Your houses are destroying our sons and our daughters, and you are one of those guilty men who encourage, and receive, and pro- tect our sons and daughters to commit iniquity. You are a curse in the midst of us. You are polluting our morals, destroying our peace, undermining the fairest pillars of our government, and damning the souls of our beloved off^ spring. And after all this, after doing as much as you can to take away our property by harboring and protecting our children, our brothers, and our sisters, and our rela- tives in spending their substance, and being pilfered in your house ; after having set your trap for the souls of our incau^ tious children and friends, and led them to hell ; after tak^ ins: away the morals of society, the stability and justice of our law^s-— do you ask us, after all this, what we have to do with your mode of life ? " We pray the vengeance of heaven may be averted from vou and your guilty house. Guilty man ! you, whose hands are red with the blood of souls gone and going to the chambers of death — yes, you need the blood of a Sa- vior to wash away your sins. O man, wash you ; put away your sins ; break off from this unholy traffic in souls. Make not your house the gate of the pit." The man seemed to regard this address with much good feeling; his angry passions were allayed. We left the room, saying to the master, " You will do well to be very careful how you step. What 1 have said, I have said." " Bidding them good evening, we passed into another street, and as we came opposite a fine brick house, we saw a man from standing by the side of a woman in close conversation ; I stepped near them and whispered between their ears, REV. JOHN R. M DOWALL. 129 *' Her feet take hold on hell; her feet go down to death." You will niourn at the last, when your flesh and your body are consumed. Can a man take fire in his bosom and his clothes not be burned ? Think, young man, think, and beware of the second death. What do you think of yourself? What would your mother think of you ? What would your father think ? What would your sisters think? How would you feel on seeing your sister abused? That woman, young man, is a sister ? What would her brothers and sisters think on seeing you ? O guilty youth ! haste, begone from this citadel of Satan, or your soul is lost, lost for ever." While talking to them, they slowly separated ; and as she retired into the room, she appeared like one fainting. As my brother drew near to the door, she lifted her hands and said, " O, he will make a convert of you." She spake under an overwhelming sense of guilt, con- fessing her crime, as interrogated, counseled and warned. The man trembled as an aspen-leaf, attempting to speak, but was unable. His half-broken phrases were self-re- proach and condemnation. His state, her state, the effect produced on both, and the feeling I had, deeply engraved on my imagination the scenes of a judgment-day, when adulterers and lascivious persons will shrink, self-con- demned, from the bar of God, into the blackness of eternal night. What a solemn time ! God was evidently with us. Mr. W had passed into the house and entered into conversation with the mistress, in whose eyes the tear stood trembling. The master entered and tried the old in- fidel story of Solomon, but it was done under circumstances too solemn and affecting to gather praise to his cause. So soon as I had closed my conversation with the adulterer at the door, a number of young men in street en- tered. The mistress, raising her hands in fear, exclaimed, •' O, this is not the place for you. Begone, go away. Poor sinful youths !" 130 MEMOIR OF THE They knew not what to make of the new state of things. While they stood amazed, " Jane Thring^'' was placed in their hands, with an affectionate request that they would read it through. We bid them good evening, and wished them a safe conduct to the regions of the holy in heaven. 2^th. — One woman in the morning expressed a desire to leave and go to the Refuge. " It will be a favor," said the mistress, " to take her, for she is sick, and crying much of the time. She is afraid of losing her soul." In the afternoon she had changed her mind, because she had been told no sick person could be received. A young man was found in one of these houses, in which there were half a dozen or more women. He came out of the chamber, sat down, and took a lesson. In this verse of the last chapter in the Bible you see it is written, " For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie." "Notice — you are classed with dogs and sorcerers — you are made an associate of sorcerers — persons in alli- ance with the devil. That you are a whoremonger, all these degraded women can testify. Nor will you deny it : and that woman can prove your character is stained ; and you are degraded and despised by the virtuous. But with a long life of repentance 3^ou may perhaps regain what you have lost, in some good degree." " How easily v/e can expose you ! What a pity ! Poor young man ! He has fallen ! But who sent you to this place? Did your parents? Perhaps you had lost your character, and with a broken heart, rejected by friends, despairing of all hope, you rushed to the Five Points, de- termined to shipwreck the balance of remaining character. But be not discouraged. Think on your ways. It is manifest you are ashamed of your conduct. Be not over- whelmed. How would it look should your poor afflicted REV. JOHN R. M DOWALL. 131 mother enter that door in search of you. Suppose a sis- ter should come and plead — "Brother, I am your sister — you are degraded — reform, and I will forgive you — nor shall this unfortunate step ruin you for ever. My dear brother, let not shame and anguish overwhelm your soul.'' " Now, dear friend, go. Never be seen at the Five Points ao-ain." o Taking him by the shoulder, he was led to the door in a very friendly manner, and affectionately entreated not to sufier shame and anguish to cause him to take away his life, like some of the unfortunate women who have lately gone from this place to the abodes of wo. Our old friend Mr. C. said— "My son, go — never come into this place again." This young man was well dressed. Our affectionate advice came in good time, for he was in truth so ashamed of himself he could scarcely hold up his head. And what was still worse, the girls had laughed at this poor fellow from the time we entered the house CHAPTER XVII. Visit to the Hook — Visit in Anthony street— Card-playing — An Infi- del—School opened at the Dispensary— Testimony of Mahahi Lake — Story of a Merchant — Sabbath-school removed — Talk to a young man — Visit to Princeton — Journey to Philadelphia — Mag- dalen Society — Conversation on Infidelity — Left Philadelphia — Conversation in the stage—Goes to New-York — Five Points — .\ man in soft raiment — Visit to the Penitentiary — To Tammany Hall. October 27iJi. — Visited the Hook this morning, and dis- tributed '' Ja/ie Thring'' to multitudes. This place is not so bad as Five Points. Saw a youno* man from the coun- 3 32 MEMOIR OF THE try. He wept as we conversed with him. He thought of his sister, and confessed she might possibly be landed there. Prayed and read the Scriptures to multitudes of these abandoned men and women. Since we visited Five Points many females have left the place. One who said last evening she would leave the place, is now in the Penitentiary, being carried away by the watch in the evening. October 29lh. — In company with Mr. C. visited a gro- cery in Anthony-street. Mr. C. conversed with two or three harlots, while I seated myself by a party at cards on the other side. They appeared disturbed as they cast their e3^es on some Tracts I held in my hand, and without any intimation on our part of their guilt, one said — " This is no place for preaching." I remarked that if they were sinners, the Gospel was preached to them ; Christ came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance. Grog-shops are the nurseries of wicked men, and the path-way to poverty, ignominy, and misery ; and if sinners are no where else to be found, grog-shops can show them by the dozen. Experience shows that gambling leads to ebriety, theft, adultery, murder, and a long catalogue of vices which his- tory blushes to record. The party tried to pursue their game, but all was confusion. One sprang up for a glass of rum, but at my request he set it down : and after telling them I was not their enem}^ and desired a social chat with them, their anger died away, and guilt seemed to overwhelm them, while the scenes of death, judgment, and eternity were brought before their minds. We left them in a serious mood, and entered a dram- shop across the street. Two men were at cards; we seated ourselves by their sides, and pleasantly asked to take a game with them. They appeared to be much surprised, and charged us with insincerity. A bystander said, that as REV. JOHN R. M DO WALL. 133 rd-playing was attended with cheating, it was no business for us, we had better be in the pulpit. We still requested to take a game of cards with them, and thought, if we should pray over the game, God would bless us. " But," says one, " you must not cheat." I replied that it was our main object to cheat, and they must beware ; and then ap- pealed to their judgment if it would not be of great impor- tance to cheat the devil out of their souls. In perturba- tion, he replied it would, and hastily put the cards in his pocket, while we talked about the deceit of the devil, the wickedness of the heart, and the necessity of regeneration. An infidel without, hearing us preaching Christ, came in, and placing himself before us, denied the greater part of revelation — accused God with being unjust — and des- canted long on different characters in the Bible. The rest of the company stood round and responded to his senti- ments. But infidelity and blasphemy being charged home upon their guilty consciences, chagrined and confounded, they turned away. To the infidel I said, " Repent or per- ishy A controversy exists betw-een you and God — settle that dispute by repenting of your sins and believing on the Lord Jesus Christ, or you can never join in the songs of heaven. The infidel and bold blasphemers were silent. Entering a house of ill fame, the mistress took me by the arm and led me to the door, saying, " I have not prospered since you came to the place." ■ i Distributing through Chatham-street the Seventh Com- mandment, some gentlemen in broadcloth blushed and held their heads. October ^\st. — Opened our school in the dispensary under favorable circumstances. We need a superintendent. Testimony of Mahala Lake. "If any one has reason to praise the Lord, I have. 12 134 MEMOIR OF THE He raised up friends for me when my relations woxild not look on me. Christians seem nearer to me than my own relations. 1 weep and mourn when I reflect on the past. The mercies of the Lord seem as a sea for fullness to me. It is a wonder I was not killed at the Five Points* All sorts of people visit there. A Quaker one day, for vrhom I had worked in the country, a married man, canie into the house. I was ashamed, but I made myself bold to speak to him, because 1 knew he had seen me. I asked him what brought hvn there? Bad company, said hej and continuing, asked what brought me there? Bad company, said I. This man has a fine wife. There is no end to the men who visit these places. I have seen many from the coun- try, from whom I expected better things, — many married men from the country. There are none who know the extent of these evils but the girls. "' Men from the highest to the lowest grade haunt these places — even mani/ you would not expect. Professors of religion are often there. But all these are very cautious, they do not love to be exposed. It is at night these men come. They slip in slily, and as slily escape. Shame prevents them in the day, yet some go in the day-time." " jMr. C. This man is a merchant. Some years since he had a son by a young milliner. The boy was boarded at • for several years. The mother frequently called. The father often called to see him. Difficulties arose, and the bov was sent to Cincinnati. The lad occcasionally visits the city. The merchant was married to a rich lady. The milliner is on the town. Once she was arraigned for theft, and her seducer sat on the jury. This wretched man^ the author of the criminal's ruin, and chargeable with thou- sands of her sins by the righteous constitution of the divine o-overnment — a principle recognised as just in the whole machinery of human government, under the terms of prin- cipal and accessary, debtor, and surety, &c. sat in ju'^gment. REV. JOHN R. m'dOWALL. 135 shielded by the base connivance of his companions, ac- complices in crime, on that helpless female, whose chastity he stole — whose heart he broke — whose morals he blasted — and whose hopes he withered in agony and despair. " Yes, this is but a part of the truth. This man is figuring in circles of the great; his victim is abandoned, drowning cares in intemperance, debauchery, and degra- dation. Is there a God ? is there a future judgment ? God is just; he is Justin judgment, and these refuges of lies God will sweep as a feather before the strong tornado. " it is my fervent prayer this merchant may find no peace in his sins. May the guilty career of his youth haunt his crimson soul till at the cross of Emmanuel he feels the pardon of his sins. " May he never repose in quiet until he has repaired, to the extent of his ability, the ruin he has caused. May the milliner he has ruined haunt his midnio-ht hours ; may he hear her secret groans as she lies in the lowest brothel in this city wasting by disease; may he feel the sdng of her more virtuous conduct. She has not as yet revealed his name : she refuses to do it. She tells not this tale of wo ; no, she abhors to do it. This tale comes from another quarter. He has revealed part of it. If he be a man, he will yet redeem and support this poor lost girl." Sabbath-school removed from the Dispensary to Orange- street ; had but few teachers and several scholars. On my way thither talked with a young man on the sin of lewdness. " What business," said the young man, " have you to talk with me ? Why do you not go to those vile fellows and talk to them?" '* I mean, dear Sir, to talk to every vile liar, thief, mur- derer, and fornicator, into whose company I fall. It is laken for granted I shall know who are of that class. '* Recollect, my remarks are on one particular point — 136 MEMOIR OF THE the corruption of the heart. You will recollect, a vile wish is adultery." " No. You are wrong. Not so." *' What did Christ say? — ' He that looketh on a woman to lu.st after her, hath committed adultery already with her in his heart.' " " O," said the young man, " I expect to go to heaven. All will go to heaven." " Indeed ! The righteous and the wicked will to- gether sit down, and praise, and admire, and adore God ! These harlots and infidels will sit down with the apostle Paul and Jesus Christ in heaven, and keep one eternal Sabbath !" " Yes ; even those who die of disease in these stews and gates of hell, and those that are murdered by them ! What a pleasant sight ! How angels must rejoice over these abodes of filth, as their holy spirits are occupied in carrying to heaven the souls of these despisers, scoffers — these lascivious — these drunken, quarrelsome, vile men and women — what a delightful society we shall have in heaven ! Hovv conclusive your argument 1" November llth. — Refused to accept the appointment of Agent to the Christian Benevolent Society of New- York, for reasons specified in a letter directed to one of the exe- cutive committee of that Society, dated Nov. 9th, 1831 ; but was again requested by that director to accept the appointment. I reserved the decision for the following day, that I might in the meantime consult Dr. Alexander and his associates. * * # * # * In passing to Princeton we distributed Tracts to multi- tudes of people. Do good as you have opportunity. November I2th. — Dr. Alexander advised me to accept the appointment of Agent until a suitable person could be found to fill the station. Dr. Miller coincided. The third REV. JOHN R. M DOW ALL. 137 pTofessor being absent, I took a hack for Philadelphia ; •farrived in the afternoon. I called on Alexander Henry, Esq. lo whom I had an introduction from my venerabio instructor at Princeton. I called on Robert Ralston, Esq. to whom another instructor had introduced me. As this •gentleman was indisposed, he regretted he could render me no assistance, but had been for years a contributor to tlie cause of benevolence in its direction to degraded fe- males. Pie commended the object of my mission as the most praiseworthy. It was late ; I was guided to York's Hotel, Market- street, and retired as the clock was striking twelve, and commended my soul to the Savior's protection. Wrote a note to Mr. Henry, and received a visit from him at eight A, M. and called at his counting-room, and received an account of the Magdalen Society of that city. The Philadelphia Magdalen Society was formed about twenty-five years since. About three hundred and twenty- five females have been received into the establishment. Of that number one hundred and twenty-five have been reform- ed, fifty of whom give decided evidence of evangelical, ar- dent piety. The remainder, seventy-five, are virtuous, nor pious. Of the fifty pious females, three are members of the second Presbyterian church in Philadelphia. " I take my seat at the communion table by the side of them, as dear sisters in Christ," said Mr. Henry. " The others have joined other churches in the city. Some have gone to other cities, and are now in reputable families, living in respectability as christians. Several are married and living comfortably. They are excellent seamstresses, and because they are strictly chaste, the best families vie with each other in receiving them into iheir employment. No violence, no harshness, no bitterness, no reproach is 12* 138 MEMOIR OF THE tolerated in the government of the house. Persuasion, tenderness, and prayer, are the basis of government. Sabbath morning. — In a company of unbelievers, the conversation turned on infidelity. I asserted that an infi- del was not qualified to sit as a judge or a juryman ; that an infidel was a deleterious member of society. I remarked, the safety of human life and property are, under God, de- pendent on the binding force of an oath. The sanctions of an oath are drawn from a future state of rewards and pun- ishments. Now, an infidel does not believe in the exis- tence of future rewards and punishments. What force, therefore, has an oath on the conscience of an infidel ? An infidel should not be on a jury that was to try me on a cap- ital arraignment, nor should he testify against me. Heard Mr. Sandford preach. Monday, ]5th. — Left Philadelphia at 6 in the morning. On our way, the conversation turned upon the word ortho- doxy. Different interpretations were given, when I took the liberty of saying, I considered the true import of the word to be, " right thinking according to a just ruUy " O," said one, " every man's feelings are the rule by which he is to think." " God, sir, God, the everlasting Father, who made the heavens and the earth, and all that in them is, has decided and given us the rule — the sacred Bible. But who must interpret the Bible ? Christians disagree." The Lord says — " He that will do my will, shall know of my doctrine." The conversation now turned upon miracles. One lawyer said, '' Miracles are not a violation of the laws of nature. They are an extraordinary exertion of divine power in a particular way, for a specific purpose, on a particular oc- casion. On some of these occasions, it is written, ' God appeared.' Now, God was as essentially distant from that place ten times ten thousand miles, as he was present a* REV. JOHN R. m'dowaLL. 139 that place. Hence, the presence of God means no more than a visible exertion of his power at a given place and time, for a specific purpose. When, therefore, it is said of Jesus Christ, in whom the fullness of the Godhead dwelt bodily, the meaning is, that God's power was exerted in him." " You are correct in theory, but not in application. Of Christ it is expressly said, ' This is the true God,' ' God manifest in the flesh,' ' God blessed for evermore,' ' mighty God.'' " Indeed, all the attributes, titles, names, works, and v/orship given to God, are ascribed to Jesus Christ. Angels in glory worship him. If he be less than the only wise and true, self-existent and independent, omnipotent God, angels are guilty of idolatry. '* If Christ be not very God, language is inadequate to ihe expression of it. Moreover, if he be not the true God, a baser wretch never walked the earth, for he arrogated that honor and right. For that assumption he was cruci- fied ; and if he is less than Jehovah, he merited the death he suffered. Unless you are an infidel, exonerate the cha- racter of Jesus from the charge of horribly impious blas- phem}'-, and from the allegation of his murderers that he deserved to die, or admit the supreme divinity of my Lord. And if you take aw^ay my Savior, supply me with a better, for I need an atoning sacrifice to appease justice, and a righteousness to justify me, and Jesus is both these to my soul. I bow down before no being who is not clothed whh perfection in each attribute. I will worship no God whose excellencies and perfections are not infinite. All these meet m my dear Lord who died on the cross." Here ended the subject, with "Sir, we have had enough of your conversation. Please to let us hear no more of it." The stage arrived at Princeton, and I left these intelli- gent travelers.* * These extracts may be thought superfluous digressions. Such debates may be heard, daily and hourly, in stages, steamboats, and F,40 MEMOIR OF THK Tuesday, \iSth. — Left Princeton for New-York. Ar- rived in the evening; lodged with brother Talbot, Wednesday, \7ih. — Saw Dr. Brown, and boarded in Hall, and lodged with brother Talbot. Thursday, \8/h.~— Began at noon to board at Rev. INIr. Patton's, Friday and Saturday, [9ih and 2Qth. — Attended to the house for these females. Sabbath, 2\st. — Visited the alms-house, had a pleasant interviev/ with Mr. Burtis. I saw a line school of little girls, taught by the two Miss Burtis's. In returning to the Five Points saw Mr. Smith, a zealous friend to the cause of Christ. The schools were out when I arrived. In the evening we had a meeting ; several unruly lads came in, and continued to interrupt the meeting to such a degree that I sent for a watchman. Two came and spake to them in a sharp tone. I inter- ceded for them, and said, "If you wmU spare and pardon this once, I will let you know if they break their engagements." The lads were more orderly, and we had an interesting meeting. Our meeting closed, and we passed through the streets b_y the fireside. But in reading the memoirs of a man, you want the mvLU himself; you want him tkeorelicaUy and praclically ; you want him in every varied situation he may be placed. You want his theology or infidelity, his strength or imbecility, just as he mani- fested them. If he be a disciple of Clirist, you want to see how that disciple« ship was exemplified. If he be a disciple of the " Age of Reason," yon want to see how that " Reason" was developed. If you patiently read this journal, and follow it through all its windings, you will find the same fearless, unyielding boldness, when contending with princi- palities and powers ; whether doctors, lawyers, divines, or infidels, as in the most degraded grog-shop, cellar, or house of infamy in the city. Whenever truth was assailed, the whole panoply of the Gospel was ready for the com.bai, and a " bow at a venture " has laid many a wicked .\hab bleeding at his feet. REV. JOHN R. m'dOWALL. 141 preaching Jesus and the resurrection. The guilty, de- graded women sometimes lent an ear for a few moments, and then passed away. Many curious things might be told, but it will suffice to record some of those less ob- jectionable. A man in soft raiment approached and commenced con- versation ; saying he had a wife and family at home, but an occasional visit to these houses was not censurable ; they were necessary for the protection of the virtuous, &c. I told him I would give my hand to no one in hos- pitality at the fire-side of my mother, and sisters, or my family, who, to my knowledge, ever visited a house of ill- fame. I hold such a man to be the enemy of female chastity. He is a dangerous member of society. He Avill seduce the innocent and desert her. He will glory iii his treachery. He will leave her in disgrace and mental agonies — a judgment severer than death. I hold him to be an enemy to his country. He does all he canto perpetuate these abodes of crime. Look at the vast sums of money raised to support our prisons, our alms-houses, and our police courts ; and tell me, does not this one system of debauchery do more to perpetuate these heavy taxes than any other single vice? Here — at the Five Points — murder, and robbery, and perjury, and Sabbath-breaking, and blasphemy, and vice of every name, prevail ; and who countenance these things ? The man who breaks the seventh commandment. The man said my statements were false ; and as for the Bible, he would not allow his daughters to read it. It is not delicate. It is a singular fact, worthy to be borne in mind, that it is impossible to find a more bitter enemy to the Bible than the man who violates the seventh commandment. Adulterers are, almost without exception, infidels ; adul- teresses are seldom reckoned among them. These are facts from which I infer that those men who 142 MEMOIR OF THE oppose the Bible are unclean persons. To this inference I have not been able to find one exception. Mr. Smith accompanied me. We reasoned with many- groups, and advised them, as friends and brothers, hus- bands and fathers, to be seen no more at brothels. I saw a female standing at a post on the corner of a street, and advised her to leave the place. I warned her of the inevitable ruin that awaited her body and soul. I advised the men to go, and be seen there no more. Some sported, some confessed ray reasons were just, and some blasphemed. The watchman then came and took the female away, and two black girls came and asked me to go and pray with a dying woman. It was now past eleven at night, but I accompanied them. I entered the chamber, and found a female in the last stages of a consumption, calling on God to have mercy on her soul. I conversed and prayed, and left the house ; but my late hour gave me some trouble to find lodgings, as I did not wish to disturb the family where I boarded. But the pleasure of such aggressive movements on evil doers, prowling, whelp-like, on the virtues of chastity, made my situation tolerable. I passed the night with an old friend, Mr. Jesse Talbot. November 22d. — In the evening Mr. Smith walked out with me. We found a girl in conversation Avilh a young rake. She received "-Jave Thringi'^ and, after a lesson, passed away. He remained, like a guilty culprit, pleading his cause. How pitiable ! how mean a situation ! Thursday. — Received a communication from A. Henry, Esq. of Philadelphia. Sabbath, 2Sth. — Visited the Penitentiary. Made pre- parations for the opening of a school among the lemale convicts. The doors of the prison were unbarred, and the harlots assembled in their working-room. After one or two short addresses, we prayed, and separated them into ciasses. About seventy-five could read, about forty could REV. JOHN R. m'D0\\ALL. 143 not. I entered several wards and spoke to them on divine things. All appeared lo rejoice. It is a place near heaven and hell; a step places souls in the one or the other. One middle-aged man felt it; he was dying. He had neglected the Savior. We prayed with him : 1 repeated some por- tions of sacred Scripture. Poor man ! he repeated them after me, and continued repeating them as I left him, '.vith the cold dew-drops of death thickening on his brow. As I passed out I talked to the sick, and pointed them to this dying man : they were attentive and thankful. Why is it an infidel has no courage in death? why does he then cry to Jesus, whom in health he blasphemed, to save his soul ? Ah! the voice of reason and conscience in him then re- sume their wonted office ; vice had misguided. In the evening went to Tammany Hall. Heard an ignorant, vulgar retailer of Tom Paine prate. At the close had some conversation with several. I told one, the chief advocates 1 found of his creed were in brothels. One old man said he had been a member of Ur. Spring's church. CHAPTER XYHI. Visit to the Five Points — A young girl — Visit at the alms-house — School at the Penitentiary — Case of two females — His own de- cisions — French Revolution — Story of a young- man — Weekly Report of the Executive Committee — Female Penitentiary — An- cient Poets— Visit to the Asylum — Description of vile liouses — Meeting of the Board of the Benevolent Society — Vile houses in and about Five Points — Number of vile men and women. December Uh. — In the morning, at 8 o'clock, I went to Mr. Dwight's, and took Mr. Woodbury with me to visit at the Five Points. We prayed with a company of harlots ; 144 MEMOIR OF THE they conducted themselves properly. In one house we saw a young girl; her countenance was not yet marked by the disgusting lines of vice. •' It is not long since I came here," said this sobbing female. Ohow it moves the heart to look on a young, seduced, broken-hearted female! In her you see the fading, dying jrlorics of chastity withering beneath the blasts of seduc- tion. She seems to be great in ruins. Modesty clothed her countenance, tears moistened her face; she cursed her perfidious seducer and trembled at the act. Anguish preyed on her soul, and hope, for ever fled, drove her to despair. Then she resolved, in anger, to endure the worst, and hasten the approach of her final catastrophe in hell. Walker, the negro who beat Rosanna so unmercifully, is dead. "Where is your husband?" I asked Mrs. Walker as I entered. *' O ! sir, he is dead." " You recollect how faithfully I warned him of his danger." " yes, I remember it well," was the reply. " Mrs. Walker, think of your own end, and remember the warn- ino-s I o"ave you some time since. Repent, I entreat you, or you will sink to perdition." In the house where the female took three shillings' worth of opium to destroy her life, I found an entire com- pany of new girls; several men were present. As we en- tered the noise was tremendous. We stood silent, gazing at them. The master and mistress recognised us, and cried out — " Be silent, the ministers are come." A clamor ensued with an intoxicated Catholic woman, who was ordered off because the ministers were in the house. December itli. — We found a widow, mistress of a bad house, who is unable to manage her son, a lad of about fifteen. Nor is it a matter of wonder. aEV. JOHN R. M DOWALL. 145 " I fear," said she, " he will come to some bad end." Returning home, we saw a fierce riot in the streets ; the blood was flowing from their noses as they continued pounding each other in the face. I went among the crowd, but was unable to separate them, being pressed by the throng in my rear. I called on those present to part them, but they had no courage. I went to the Alderman and apprised him of the matter. The rioters dispersed before he arrived. Sahhath, 5th. — Staid at the alms-house. In the morning the school was opened in the Penitentiary for the female prisoners. Perhaps one hundred and fifty attended. Five teachers were present. Several of the females wept. One said she wished to go to the House of Refuge. Many are beautiful readers ; about one third say they cannot read. Some are advanced in age; some are deformed ; some are beautiful. It is an affecting sight to see the tender, delicate, and educated female, of polished manners and address, thrust into the society of the desperately depraved of her sex. Went to Tammany Hall, but concluded it was a duty to go to a place of religious worship. I spent the evening agreeably in Dr. Spring's session-room. Monday, 6th. — Took two females to the House of Refuge. On Sabbath evening they attended the prayer- meeting. Both came to learn something of the asylum. They were affected. As they left the house and went into the street, a number of ruffians at the gate hurried one of them away. On Monday morning the other went into the neighborhood to find the girl, but her search was in vain; but she found and brought another girl to the asylum. She was from the Penitentiary, who, by my advice on Sabbath, two weeks since, was influenced to leave, and walked one whole day, accompanied by a colored girl, to find the asylum, but being unable, she was from necessity 13 146 MEMOIR OF THE driven for shelter to a house of ill-fame. She is twenty- three years old, and in poor health. The infidel would laugh at this story, and say she would reform when she could no longer pursue her guilty course. Perchance he would descend lower, and accuse us of unhallowed designs and arts; and hen)ight laugh at us as simpletons. As this is showing their inhuman hearts, I pity them. I remember my Lord condescended to teach and rebuke publicans and harlots; as his servant, I expect to be evil spoken of; I have counted the cost: I am decided ; [ know I have the better cause. Tuesday, 7lh. — It was on this day, 17S9, forty-one years since, the French Revolution filled Europe with amaze- ment; infidelity fattened that soil with human blood, and flesh, and bones ; the Bible, they burned it ; Christ, they cursed him; religion, they swore to exterminate it: the Sabbath, they changed it ; and what did they not change ! What infidels did for Franc(% infidels would do for America, if able. Indeed, some of them are not backward in such allusions. A young man came into the Aims-House from the Hos- pital. The Alderman commanded him to take off his coat, a fine snuff-colored surtout. The 3'oung man beg- ged to be permitted to leave the place, adding — " I shall be ruined if I stay here." The Alderman insisted — " It Avill not be a month before you will be sent back to us. It is useless to try you. You must put on a jacket and take lo the shoe-bench. Take off your coat, sir, take it off' The young man slowly and sorrowfully took off his coa . He stood pale and sorrowful. The Alderman then talked to him affectionately, as a father yearning over a prodigal son. The young man stood in silence, while the dejection of his countenance and the irresolute roll of his REV. JOHN R. M DOWALL. 147 eye indicated a mind agitated by conflicting feelings. He again plead for liberty — again promised amendment. '• Well," said the Alderman, " I will try you." The young man's countenance brightened and he put on his coat, and as he was leaving I asked liberty to talk with him. He was called back. We sat down at a win- dow and he gave me his history. " I have a pious mother living in Boston. She gave me a virtuous education. I came to this city, and was led astray by young mechanics who believe there is no hell. They laugh at religion and call it priestcraft. They pity the pious for their simple heads, as they call them. I went but once to a house of ill-fame ; for that unfortunate act have I paid most dearly. " If the pains of my late sickness be but the beginning of sorrows, I know not what the end will be. I saw you in the Hospital last week — you wish me well — I thank you for your advice." So much for the infidel's morality and hatred of the Bi- ble, and the God of the Bible. O i/oznig- men, beware — beicarc ! Weekly Report to ike Executive Committee. The InAmt school opened on Monday with twenty — on Tuesday, thirty. More will attend when the room is pre- pared. xMr. Chester advises me to join the Sunday School Union. The petition to the public school is presented. The Afri- can Sabbath school needs the permanent attention of some discreet, intelligent, pious, zealous man. Of course our primary object is ever to be kept in view. No man ought to be received who is not competent to the defence of the christian religion against the whole host of universalists, infidels, and atheists. The man must be acouainted with human nature, or susceptible of 148 MEMOIR OF THE soon acquiring the ability of managing men with views and interests opposite to his own. In the Female Penitentiary I saw several of my parish- ioners who had been at the Five Points. One, whose de- grading demeanor at that miserable place cannot be re- corded by reason of its deep offence against the first principles of purity, was now orderly, decent, and atten- tive. Another, about ten or twelve weeks since, was em- ployed as a domestic by the keeper of one of those bad houses. 1 at that time told her, if she continued at that place, before three months elapsed she would be in the Penitentiary. " Do you recollect my prediction ?" " O, sir, I well recollect ii," said the female, weeping bit- terly, *' and if ever I get from this place I will never more be seen in such places again." " Madam, in less than five years your spirit will be in the world of spirits, and alas, I fear, in hell, unless you do as you have said. A vicious life is a rapid life — three years generally cut off the girls in your situation." A third female I saw is the mother of several children in New-Jersey, and the daughter of a respectable farmer. Two months since I saw her lying in a fit in the street at the Five Points. I procured a man who took her into the house of a co- lored man. The colored woman abused her — even pre- suming to beat her while in an awful paroxysm. I could not describe my feelings when I saw this woman — a mother — in a prison. Many of the females shed tears. One, unasked, solicited admission into the Asylum — an- other, a mother of a family, desired me to see her brother and children in the city. Poor females ! almost every one is the victim of some unprincipled and unfeeling man. This school is not properly supplied with teachers and books. REV. JOHN R. »'dOWALL. 149 Thursday, 9t/i — It is to-day two hundred and twenty- two years since Milton, the prince of English epic poetry, was born. His name will shine in the galaxy of glory, 'j'hose muses whose works elevate the female character, ly inflicting a wound and bringing a disgrace on the un- chaste, and adorning the brow of the pure, have acquired nn unfading garland of praise. Though Ovid possessed the powers of a poet, and Horace the keenest satirical spirit, and Moore the softest melody, and Byron the mellifluous style of a master; the time is near when their names will be associated with the vilest misanthropes. They have led the band of the impure poetic warriors, foiled in their competition for the meed of future praise. Together they shall fall, and be buried, with Chesterfieldian manners and morals, in the vaults of their own impurity. Posterity shall stamp their names with disgrace. In disgrace they shall rot, and their mausoleum shall entomb the thousands marshaled at their side in oblivious night; for holiness shall reign in the hearts of men, and even the bells shall be dedicated to God, bearing the inscription, holiness to ike Lord. Our committee met last evening, and appointed sub- committees to attend to various duties arising out of our nQ\Y relations. Much good feeling exists among them. It is decided I am for the present to spend at least two days at the Peni- tentiary in each week, and the remainder of the time at the Five Points. To the females in the Asylum I read the rules, &c. of the Philadelphia Magdalen. It gave me a good opportu- nity to show the reasons why they were so exact. They wept. Then we began the Book of Malachi — read the first chapter, each reading a verse in rotation. On each verse I commented. They all wept. We had a solemn meeting. It was a precious season to my soul. At the corner of Centre and Pearl-streetS; about half 13* ibU MEMOIR OF THE after seven this evening, I saw a female lying on the pave* ment, surrounded by a multitude of men, women, and boys. She was intoxicated. I went to the Five Points, found- two watchmen, who conducted her safely to the watch- house. My curiosity being excited, I traveled from Chatham to Anthony, thence to Leonard, to Centre, to Anthony, to^ Broadway, and back to Anthony, to Elm, to Pearl, to Cross, to the Five Points, and thence- through Little Wa- ter, Anthony and Centre-streets, within the aforesaid boundaries, and counted in this small district more than one hundred places in which ardent spirits are sold, and public girls are either kept or permitted to visit. Aside from these houses there are several oyster-stands, which minister to the depravity of these places. Some of these houses are places of gambling, as the majority of lewd houses are. Some are dancing-houses. Some of the houses contain several lewd families. In some of these houses murders frequently occur, and robberies, as often as opportunities offer. Men are intoxicated and tumbled into the street. In Anthony-street, near Broadway, there are a few vir- tuous families. So far as I am able to judge, the obvious signs of one of these houses are red curtains, ever dravi^n close, with either a very bright or a very pale light im- mediately behind them. The window-shutters are some- times closed in part, or wholly, with a crevice or a half- moon, &c. showing the red curtain ; or, perchance, a fe- male stands at the door, to catch silly youth. The number of male prostitutes is exceedingly great. In 1829, 563 males and 438 females were committed to the Penitentiary as vagrants, or something worse. Shall the Gospel be carried to these persons? The tendency of concerts is to dissipation. The thanks- giving of many is offered to Satan. In the evening I visited REV. JOHN R. M DOWALL. 151 a friend in Beaver-street ; saw a miserable prostitute, with whom the watchmen were dealing according to law. She is in the watch-house, and will to-morrow, probably, be in Bridewell. I saw two others, young and fallen. They were at the corner, conversing with a man. 1 apprised them of their danger. If these women, strolling at night, were arrested and committed to the Penitentiary until the overseers had evi- dence of their reformation, great good would be effected anS much evil prevented. Sabbath, \2th. — Mr. and Mrs. Phelps were added to the number of our teachers in the Penitentiary. About the usual number of females attended. I again read the rules of the Philadelphia Asylum to them. Some wished to go to our house, but had heard it was not a good place. The attention was good. Some wept. In the afternoon attended at the Five Points, and spoke to the children on the fifth commandment. In the even- ing had some difficulty with the boys. But for the arm of the civil law, we could do nothing among these lawless spirits, who are under no parental restraint. Took one lad out of the house to give him over to a watchman, but in the struggle he escaped. The others behaved better. Monday. — Called on the Rev, Mr. M'Cartee, and pro- posed to him the propriety of his church aiding in the sup- port of a missionary for our society at the Five Points. He thought favorably of it, and requested another inter- view with me on the subject. Mr. Woodbury and Mr. Mack visited families at the Five Points. One country- man in a house of ill-fame confessed he had a wife at home, and that she was a fine woman, but considered it justifiable to have, occasionally, a spree with the girls, as he called it. When the question was put to him, " What would you do and say, if your wife followed your example?" His jocose spirit departed, and a different one came over him. ^52 MEMOIR OF THE '' Why," said the man, "I would call her .' I " But what shall this man be called ?" Q,uery. Is his wife not bound to be divorced from him ? Tuesday, \ith, — It rains. I am preparing a Tract. Its litle is ^'Vice and Viriiie" Mr. A. Smith promises to pub- lish it. Spent the evening with Mr. Smith, with whom I reviewed the Tract " Vice and Virlue " to the end of the sixth page. Wednesday.-^ Saw Messrs. M'Cartee and Rice on the subject of the missionary cause. Wednesday, next week, it will be laid before the session of his church, and a report be sent up to Mr. Rice's church. In the evening the Board of the Christian Benevolent Society met for the first time since the organization of the Society. The minutes of the Executive Committee and So- ciety were read, and the business of the evening despatched in a very pleasant manner. One thing I regretted to hear from the secretary, in re- lation to my terms of agreement with the society as their agent. It is this, that I engaged to labor for them in this cause for my food and clothing, and access to a reading- room, and one or more course of lectures. So far, it is true. But it ought to have been added, as an original part of my conditions, that the society should procure a permanent agent as soon as possible, that I might be permitted early to return to my sacred studies. This mistake ought to be corrected. One hundred and sixty-two dollars were subscribed to the funds of the society before the meeting closed. It was to me as a fit of the chills and fever to hear that two thou- sand dollars would meet all the probable expenses of the society for the present year. But there is hope in the case. When the members of this society look at the sub- ject in its true light, they will feel and believe that ten times two thousand should be expended the current year. The belief that they will soon be of the same opinion, and REV. JOHN R. M DOWALL. 153 that the Most High will smile on our efforts, furnishes the sole ground on which my conclusion rests to continue in the city one week more. I believe the Lord calls on the churches of this city to lead forth their united forces against the common foe, whose entrenchments are so strong they contemptuously frown on assault. But, blessed be God, that one mighty host of noble war- riors, ere one year is past, may be presenting their fearless front and blood-stained banners of redeeming love where Satan now hath his imagined impregnable bulwarks. Cheering thought ! But if this is attained, I must for the present go to the Penitentiary, and bend the energies of my mind to the thorough investigation of the whole subject. I must write and publish. The public must be inform- ed, or they will do nothing ; and moral disease must con- tinue preying on the vitals of the community until the whole mass of society is corrupted as Sodom, and fallen as Gomorrah. My path of duty is plain — I must walk in it. I must attend the Thursday and Sabbath evening meetings at the Five Points, and have an able man to visit from house to house immediately in that place. Thursday. — Added one paragraph to the first number of my communication on vice, and handed it to the editor, after I had visited the Five Points, where I counted one hundred, and forty places or tenements, many of which were entire buildings where ardent spirits are sold. One hundred and four are notorious places of lewdness. The other thirty-six places are almost more than dubious. This district in which these places are found, are, first — between Five Points and Chatham ; second — between Five Points and Leonard; third — between Five Points and Broadway, through Anthony ; and fourth — between Orange and Cen- tre, through Leonard. It will be seen this does not in- clude all that passes under the name of Five Points. Sup- pose each place to contain five females, though some con- 154 MEMOIR OF THE tain, perhaps, three times that number, and in the 104 places there will be 520 lewd women. This number may safel}^ be doubled. Then we shall have 1040 females in the sixth ward — at and in the vicinity of the Five Points — who are among the most notorious prostitutes the city affords. Admitting there are but one thousand — a very humble estimate, it is believed, for the sixth ward — we have data, not very satisfactory, it is true, by which we can estimate the number in the city. Admitting, also, there are in each other ward one-fourth as many as there are in the sixth ward, the thirteen other wards would give us 3,250 ; which, added to the 1,000 for the sixth ward, gives us 4,250 pub- lic girls. To these add 400 usually in the Penitentiary, and the result is 4,650; just 350 less than the Alderman computed one week since. He reckoned them at 5,000, and the city could not produce a better judge. To these public girls you are to add those females that reside in houses of higher reputation, and domestics, and young fe- males who take lodgings in private families and boarding- houses of respectability. These are doubtless more nu- merous than the girls abroad on the town. Placing them at the same number, we shall have 10,000 in this city, being 5,000 less than the number estimated by a physician who had been four years resident nt the Aims-House. Now there can be no doubt but there are more than twenty-five men to each woman, — 10,000 by 25 equals 250,000 men. This result astonishes the mind. But those who know the most about these places can readily believe it. But there are not so many men in the city ; yet there are a great multitude of men in it. More- over, seamen, foreigners, and country people arc nume- rous, and thousands and thousands of them visit such places, and glory in it. This is an adulterous and sinful generation. Keep me by thy grace, O my God. Let me never fall. REV. JOHN R. M DOWALI,. 155 CHAPTER XIX, Weariness — Walk in Broadway — Interview with two girls — Advice and kindness — Persuaded them to go home — The next day called on them — Learn-ed llioir situation — Visit to tlie Asylum — Trouble among^ them amicably settled — Meeting- in the Penitentiary — Visits at Anthony and Chatham-streets — Meeting at the Five Points — Reflections— Further visits — Visits to twelve wards in the Alm^- llouse. In the afternoon of this day my strength was so com- pletely exhausted I laid and slept on the sofa, too weary almost to take rest there. Sitting in my chair at the fire- side, I fell asleep; indeed I was unable to prevent it. At tea-time revived. Attended a meeting, but few were pre- sent. Prayed and parted. Took my usual exploring tour. In Broadway a girl looked me in the face — I bowed. She instantly turned and followed me. So, to try the thing, I turned the corner, and she very obsequiously did the same. Poor thing, she had little anticipation of the lesson that awaited her. We walked to a house in Anthony-street, She said she was a servant girl; that another servant girl had persuaded her to go out, by telling her she should get money and fine clothes — live well; that she had been leading such a life but a short time. When we came to the door, and she was about ascending the steps, I told her I feared God and should not go in. She was amazed, I told her I would give her some money if she was in need of it. She said she was. I gave her' two shillings, and walked with her to Broadway. I told her I was the agent of a society which designed to overthrow this sys- tem of iniquity, and if she went out again she would be turned off and sent down to the Five Points. I gave her a lesson on the seventh commandment. She said she knew it all, she was well acquainted with the Bible — pro- mised she would 20 out no more. 156 MEMOIR OF THE In one minute after I saw a young man coming out of Broadway with two girls of more than usual splendor of dress. I halted, and lingered, and looked. They stopped — they separated — one going off with the man. I crossed, and followed, and overtook the other. She turned and looked me full in the face for a moment. She gave me her hand, and wished me to accompany her to an oyster cellar. On refusing, she said she would go with me to a house, but apologized for carrying me to such a house because it was no better furnished. She led me to that door at which I had stood a few minutes before with the other girl. I told her I feared God and dare not go in. I remarked if she needed money I would give it to her. She told me she had not one cent to buy her breakfast. I gave her a dol- lar, on condition she would go home and commit no crime ; fearing she would, I accompanied her to the door of her house, but did not enter. In passing along she told me her history. I pitied the girl — I told her I looked upon her as on my tender and beloved sister, and if she would return to a virtuous life I would be her friend. She said she de- sired to do it, but the way was closed against it. Before I returned to my lodgings the clock struck eleven. I retired to rest at a quarter before three in the morning, deeply impressed with a grateful sense of the goodness of God to me, and thankful I had the opportuni- ty of preventing crime, and bringing truth to bear on the consciences of some. Friday, 17 ih. — Called on the two females I had seen the preceding evening, and found them in confusion. It was one o'clock, and they had but just finished their breakfast. The one with whom 1 had not conversed before is beauti- ful ; her eye intelligent and penetrating; her form comely, and countenance benignant. She has a litile child. " O woman ! how can you consent to live on the wages of iniquity? how can you support that child by prosti- tution?"' REV. JOKN R. m'dOWALL. 157 *' Sir, necessity compels me ; 1 do not love the course I pursue ; in the winter I and my child were suffering." " Why did you not go to the Aims-House?" " No — ntver, sir, will I go to that place; I will suffer first.'^ •' Will you abandon vice and go to the asylum ?" " O don't mention a prison." " It is no prison — if you are willing to go we are will- ing to receive you. No female is received into our Refuge who doe5 not go of her own choice, forsake her evil way, and resolve to break off her evil habits. You can have the privilege of visiting the asylum before you decide." They were pleased. On asking them if I should pray with them, — •' Well, I don't know. We don't pray. We don't do such things." They soon consented, and I prayed. They had no Bible, but said they would read one if I would give them one. On parting, I took them by the hand and spoke to them as to sisters. The mother broke away and rushed into an opposite room, her feelings were too intense to ad- rait of further expressions of regard and sorrow for her condition. Poor woman ! Before this she asked if she could take the child to the Refuge. " You can take it to the poor-house." " No, no ; my child does not leave me. I think more of it than that. If my child cannot go to the Refuge, I shall not go." I told her I could not answer her now, but when the case was brought before the directors, they would possibly admit her and her child. This female had lived as a domestic in the house of the Alderman. Her husband is dead. The history of the other is too dark for record. She pleads for her course, that she may get money to assist a poor father and mother in Brooklyn. Saturday, \^th. — Waited on Mr. Hallock, the Corres- ponding Secretary of the American Tract Society, who requested an address from me before the Tract Society, 14 158 MEMOIR OF THE in the Brick Church, on Sabbath evening, 19th. The pro- priety of my compliance is yet dubious. In the afternoon I visited the Asylum. Some difficulty existed between the matron and one of the girls. Each told her own story ; I sided with neither, for both were to blame — the girl in stubbornness, and the matron for be- ing angry and reproaching the girl with her former life- Reproach coming from this quarter stings deeply, and is not soon forgotten. After the stories of each were told, I kneeled and prayed. All wept. The female wept for the first time. After prayer, she stepped into the opposite room and wept. I took her by the hand and led her to the matron, and requested them to shake hands in friendship. This being done, we sang a sweet song, and parted, after a second prayer. Sabbath, 19 th. — Staid with Mr. Pierson last evening. Had a most interesting meeting in the Penitentiary this morning. Many of the females wept. They listened at- tentively to the account given of the house. Mr. Burtis called in, and told them the object in view was to break up the whole Penitentiary system for females, and intro- duce them to a place in which they would be taken care of. Pleasure seemed to pervade many hearts. O how grateful the recollection, that mercy to prisoners begets in them kindly feelings of regard and attachment to him who visits them, as an angel of mercy, bearing glad tidings of great joy, that a Savior is born — a Savior for all those/ and for those alone, who believe on his name. In the evening we had a meeting at the Five Points. The boys are entirely ungovernable. Some efficient mea- sures must be taken to check this conduct. Wednesday, 29th. — Visited my pariah this night. In Anthony-street we had a prayer-meeting in a house of ill- fame kept by a colored woman. Three white girls staid with her. There were three men in the house ; one was^ a sailor, one a young man from the city, one a iriarrieJ. REV. JOHN R. >I DOWALL. 159 man fiom the country. We talked to them and prayed. The old woman tried to exculpate herself by saying she kept the girls out of kindness to them, — that they could give money to their mothers by pursuing this course. In Chatham-street we saw two beautiful females — they were as fair as lilies — vice had not yet faded the bloom ot their cheeks. One mistress of a house told us, *' Gentlemen visit my house. Perhaps some of those very men you would not like to have see you here, come here themselves, and that for no good purpose." We saw many beautiful girls richly dressed. The num- ber of lewd women is so great, no wonder a virtuous fe- male cannot go out at certain hours without being insulted. If a female condescends to look at a man in the evening, he unhesitatingly concludes she is a very fine article, in rich demand among gentlemen at the exchange of Venus. If a female stand in the street, about a corner, or a window, or a door, or stand on the pavement in close conversation with a man, it is just to conclude she is a lewd woman. If girls pass along in company, laughing, tossing their heads, gesticulating as if they were in ecstacies of pleasure, enter- ing pastries and oyster-shops, or breaking loose one from the other, or answering anj^ civil question from a stranger, men conclude it is safe to solicit the privilege of accompa- nying them, as guardians, to their residence. Thursday, 30^A.— Meeting at the Five Points. The first business was to send all the boys away. We find it impossible to govern them. People in the neighborhood assign this as a reason why they will not attend meetings more regularly. Called to see Caroline Smith, a girl in a house of higher assignation than can usually be found at the Five Points. She is an interesting woman. Poor girl ! she knows the fatal, the inevitable end that awaits her. She trembles and wishes to leave the place. I gave her my name, and told her to reflect seriously on the subject. I placed before her 160 MEMOIR OF THE the course of life and death. I showed her the difficulties she must encounter to reach heaven. I showed her the end of her path, and the severe pains and disgrace she must endure in her progress to perdition. She wept ; she asked where she could see me. Poor girl ! I feel for her ; she has seen brighter days. Ah, that fathers, in looking on their daughters, would hear in mind that girls, as far above suspicion as their own beloved children, and as reputable, too, in rank, and intel- lect, and the accomplishments, too, that adorn the female character, have fallen ; and that thousands of them are dis- persed through the c'lij, with broken hearts, in want and m sickness, at this moment. Friday, 3\st. — Walked from Roosevelt-street to the Peni- tentiary before half-past four A. M. Lost a handkerchief by the way in watching a fiddler at five in the morning. Saw some cellars open. Alas ! how many cellars are open all night for night-walkers, and closed all day for sleep. O this guilty city ! Vice is deeply fixed in it. It is hoped success will attend the effort to develope the results of kidnapping persons. The result would shake the city ; and so it should. May the Lord grant success to the doctor who dared to lay down the dissecting-knife and leave the lecture-room. The Lord protect his life, and enable him to escape the malice of the guilty villains trembling for fear of detection. May he escape and bring them to justice. May God's people awake to prayer, and exercise strong faith. May men feel they are acting for God, and that God will bring them to judgment. Visited the house of Mr. Pierson, and waited half an hour, on a verbal invitation to meet the directors of the Fe- male Assistant Society of New- York, the first I have re- ceived since I came to the city ; and none having appeared within that time, I attended to my regular routine of bu- siness. The commotion and war of my feelings no gra- phic pen can paint. But the troubled waters will soon be KEV. JOHN R. m'doWALL. 161