Division ^C^O- Section 3P,3S WRITINGS /^- MAY 5 1019 MISS FANNY WOODBURY. »r/fO DIED AT BEVERLEY, NOVEMBER 15, 1814, AGED 25 F£ili25. That bfe ii long which answers life's great end.— Koang. Blessed are the dead which die in the Lord.— j1 Voicefrom Heattn. A NEW EDITION. LONDON : I'RINTED FOR OGLE, DUNCAN, AND CO. 37, PATERNOSTER-ROW, * 2BS, HOLBORN / AND WAUGH AND INNES, EDINBURGH. MDCCCXXII. fi LONDON : ADVERTISEMENT. The present Edition includes the whole of the Writ- ings of the late Miss Fanny Woodbury, as con- tained in the original copy published in America. It was not thought necessary to enlarge the size, and increase the price of the book, by inserting any part of Mrs. Newell's Correspondence, as that will be found in the Memoir of her life, lately published. INTRODUCTION. JVxiSs Fanny Woodbury, daughter of Mr. Isaac and Mrs. Anna Woodbury, was born at Ha- milton, Mass., Sept. 10, 1791. In her infancy she was dedicated to God in baptism. Possessed of a slender constitution, she rarely knew what it was to enjoy good health, and vf'o.^ often brought apparently to the very gates of death. When about three years old, her sense of hearing was greatly impaired by a fever ; and her deafness, which was sometimes much greater than usual, was one of her greatest trials through life. It is probable that her afflictions were in a great degree the means of leading her to realize the im- portance of religion. The particular occasion of bringing her to deep and solemn consideration, was an account of a revival of religion among the members of Bradford Academy, which she received in a letter from her sister. The next summer, 1807, while a member of that seminary, there is reason to hope that she was brought to aS VI feel that she was a sinner ; " that her heart," to use her own words, " was exceedingly sinful, and opposed to God, and her will so stubborn that it would not submit to Him." " After this," she writes, " my feelings were changed ; I saw God to be holy, just, and good, and, as such, I loved Him." She soon after made a profession of religion* ; and was enabled, during the rest of her life, in a very high degree, to adorn the doctrine of God her Saviour. It is confidently believed, that those who had the best opportunity of judging of her character, regarded and loved her, not only as a real Christian, but as eminently pious. Highly estimating the importance of improving the female mind, she took fast hold of instruction. With all her getting, she was determined, if pos- sible, to get understanding. For this object she made very great exertions. With close attention, and manifest 'advantage, she read much. Her reading was almost wholly of a religious kind. The Bible she regarded as the hook of books, in- comparably superior to all others. N^xt to the Bible, she valued Scott'sj Commentary, as it afforded her so much assistance in discovering and » She joined the Second Church in Beverley, of which the Rev. Moses Dow was pastor. VII improving the deep wisdom of God, revealed in the lively oracles. The whole of* this great and admirable work she read twice in course — once in the short period of six months. She not only improved her mind by reading, but by writing. In the latter part of her life, however, she regretted having made so great efforts to attain an elevated style. She was exceedingly delighted when she could gain instruction by hearing, either in public or private. Thouo;h she had a hioh relish for social inter- course, especially for social worship, yet her dear- est, sweetest, noblest comforts, she found in soli- tude. There, in her beloved chamber, which she seemed to regard as a little sanctuary — there, se- cluded from every mortal eye and mortal care, she could most freely and fully enjoy her pen, her Bible, and her God. Three times a-day, like Daniel, did she retire, to hold sweet intercourse with Him, in whom her soul delighted ; and some- times she continued the employment for hours. When her friends desired an interest in her prayers, she was deeply impressed with the importance of complying with their requests. A few months before her death, a friend said to her, " I have a cousin whose situation is pecuharly favourable to self-examination. Do pray for him, Fanny, for he is very stupid." About six weeks afterwards. Vlll there was some reason to hope that he found Christ, as his all in all. It was said to Miss Woodbury, " Have you ever prayed for him ?" She replied, " I have not once attempted to supplicate the throne of grace, without pleading on his behalf." She had a very deep sense of the worth and preciousness of time. But holif time was, in her esteem, by far the most precious. Very few, if any, could more feelingly " call the Sabbath a delight." Notwithstanding her difficulty of hear- ing, she had a remarkable fondness for public worship. To one, who often walked with her to the house of God in company, she was accus- tomed to say, when about to enter the sanctu- ary, " Now I do hope our souls will be richly fed ;" " Do let us hear as for eternity ;" and the like. Her religious sentiments were decidedly evan- gelical. The great doctrines of the cross were her meat and her drink, her joy and her glory. She often lamented the abounding errors of the day, especially that which robs the Saviour of his divi- nity, by reducing him to the level of a dependant being. Deeply imbibing the spirit of the doctrines which she loved and advocated, she seemed con- stantly to breathe forth love to God, and good- will to mankind. As a child, she was respectful IX and obedient ; as a sister, affectionate and kind ; as a friend, sincere and constant ; as a correspon- dent, punctual and faithful. Though, in consequence of her natural diffidence and inability of hearing, she was in general rather reserved, yet to two intinfate friends, whom she tenderly loved as the friends of Immanuel, she was remarkably open and comnaunicative. Of the two principal characteristics of true friendship, tenderness and faithfulness, it may be difficult to ascertain for which she was most distinguished. When about to part with her friends, she was ac- customed to give them some warm exhortation, such as, " Do live near to God ;" " Pray much and fervent ;" " Press forward with all speed." With regard to the poor, she was by no means disposed to dismiss them with, " Be ye warmed, be ye filled," when it was in her power to relieve them. So far from stopping her ears at the cry of the poor, or turning away her eyes from beholding the needy, she sought them out in their dreary cells ; and there she caused the heart of the widow and the fatherless to sing for joy. Nor was she satisfied with relieving their temporal wants. It was her ardent prayer and exertion that they might be fed with the bread of life, and clothed with the garments of salvation. The sick and the afflicted had a share in her tender sympathies ; and it was her melancholy delight to visit, assist, and console them. She was a striking example of industry and economy. A large part of her time was spent in discharging the duties of the domestic circle. When her eyes were occupied with reading, her hands were 'generally employed to some useful purpose. Like Dorcas, she made garments for the poor. After her death, several garments, suit- able for the approaching season, were found, which she had carefully prepared, and laid by for distri- bution. Almost the whole of what she bestowed in charity, was the fruit of her own industry. She often expressed her astonishment, that Christians should suffer so much of their time to be lost in idleness ; adding, that if their own circumstances did not require the fruit of their labours, the poor were ever needy. Her conversation was happily seasoned with the salt of grace. " During the two last years of her hfe," observes one of her correspondents, " I have had the privilege of being in her society more or less almost every week ; and, I think, all that passed between us, upon things not relating to seriousness, might be communicated in one hour." The extension of Christ's kingdom was a sub- ject which peculiarly affected her heart. To hear XI of a revival of religion, was to her like life from the dead. The poor heathen were much upon her mind. She took a very lively interest in exertions to spread the gospel, and evangelize the world. Her humility was very conspicuous ; and shed a lustre over all her other virtues. It really did seem, that she was free from the abominable sin of thinking of herself more highly than she ought. She appeared to entertain a very low opinion of herself, and of every thing she did *. Though she was much grieved for the sins of others, yet her greatest grief, her deepest lamentation, was for her own sins. Perhaps the most remarkable trait in her cha- racter was a realizing sense of future scenes ; es- ,7 re pecially during two or there of the last years of her life. It really seemed that the world was dead to her, and she to the world. She mani- festly felt, that she wrote for eternity, and lived for eternity. Eternity, with all its tremendous reali- ties, seemed present to her view. It was remarked by those with whom she met for social prayer, that she appeared to feel a strong impression, that her time on earth was short. They observed an unusual fervour in her petitions. She seemed * }"'he therefore destroyed all the letters which she had writ- ten to Mrs. Newell, except one, which probably escaped hj be- JRg: mislaid. Xll already an inhabitant of the heavenly world. Long, long, will that little circle remember her. Long will they mourn, that they shall hear her voice no more ; no more witness her fervent devotion ; no more hear her plead for sinners. CONTENTS. Page Letter to Miss E. A. of Beverley, . . 1 Journal from Sept. d, to Nov. 14, I&07 . 3-11 Journal from Jan. K), to Dec. 1, 1S08 . 11-15 Letter to Miss N. B. of Beverley . . 15 Journal from March 18, to Oct. 29, 1809 , i7-26 Journal from Feb. 3, to May 27, 1810 • 26-34 Letter to Miss H. W. of Winchendon . 35 Journal from June 30, to Dec. 29, 1810 . 37-42 Journal from April 11, to June 24, IS 11 , 43-45 Letter to Miss Harriet Atwood, of Haverhill 45 Letter to Miss B. B. of Wenham . . 50 Letter to Miss S. K. of Wenham . . 52 Journal from Aug. to Sep. 12, 1811 , 5G-5S Letter to Miss S. W. of Winchendon . 5© Letter to Miss H. H, of Beverley . . 63 Journal from March 20, to April 28, 1812 68-71 Letter to Miss A. C. H. of Bradford . . 71 Journal from June 14, to June 27, 1812 77-80 Extract from a Letter to Miss N. K. of New- bury-port ...... 80 Letter to Miss N. J. of Beverley . • 82 Journal from July 12, to July 23, 1812 . 87, 88 Letter to Miss N. J. of Beverley . . 88 b CONTENTS. Page Journal from Aug. 7, to Aug. 9, 1S12 . 93-96 Letter to her Sisters . . . . 96 Letter to Miss E. S. of Beverley . . 98 Journal, Oct. 1S19 .... 103,104 Letter to Mrs. H. P. of Bradford . 104 Letter to Miss C. G. of Bradford . 107 Journal, Dec. 1 SI 2 . . . . 112-114 Journal, Jan. 1, 1813 .... 114,115 Letter to Mrs. H. P. of Bradford . . 116 Letter to Miss M. G. of Boston . . 119 Letter to Miss N. J. of Beverley . . 122 Note to Miss E. S. of Beverley . . 126 Letter to Misses B. K. and R. K. of Bradford 128 Extract of a Letter to Miss N. J. of Beverley 132 Letter to Misses B. K. and R. K. of Bradford 133 Journal from April 4, to April S, 1S12 . 137-143 Letter to Miss N. K. of Newbury-port . 143 Letter to Miss B. K. of Bradford . . 146 Letter to Mrs. M. A. of Haverhill . . i50 Letter to Miss C. G. of Bradford . . 155 Letter to Mr. LL P. and Mrs. A. P. of Bradford 160 Letter to Miss C. G. of Bradford • . 165 Letter to Miss S. K. of Wenham . . 168 Extract from a Letter to Miss B. P. of Danvers 173 Note to Miss E. S. of Beverley . . 176 letter to Miss B. P. of Danvers . . 177 Letter to Miss S. P. B. of Lynnfield • 181 letter to Miss N. J. of Beverley • • 188 Journal, July 1813 . . . . 190-196 CONTENTS. XV Page Letter to Mrs. Atwood of Harerhill, and her daughters . . . . . 196 Letter to Miss M. S. of Chelmsford, . 203 Extract of a Letier to Miss S P. B. of Lynnfield 208 Letter to Mr. D. S. of Beverley . . 209 Letter to Miss B. P. of Danvers . , 21G Letter to Miss M. S. of Chelmsford . 218 Journal, Nov. 5, t SI 3 .... 223 Letter to Miss N. J. of Beverley . . 224 Letter to Miss C. G. of Bradford . . 228 Note to Miss E. S. of Beverley . . 230 Journal from Dec. 31, 1813, to Jan. 1, 1814 231-235 Letter to Miss H. P. of Francistown . 235 Letter to Miss N. W. of Boston . . 237 Letter to Miss B. P. of Danvers . . 240 Letter to Mrs. M. C. of Marblehead . 242 Note to Mrs. H. P. of Bradford, then at Beverley 247 Note to Mrs. H. P. of Bradford, then at Beverley 248 Jovu-nal, April 2, 1S14 .... 249-254 Letter to Miss C. T. of Beverley ... 254 Extract of a Letter to Mrs. H. P. of Bradford 259 Note to Miss E. S. of Beverley . . 260 Journalfrom April S3, to May 1814 . 251-271 Extracts of a Letter to Miss C. T. of Beverley 271 Journal from May 12, to May 13, 1814 274-276 Letter to Miss M. W. of Beverley . 276 Note to Miss E. S. of Beverley, then at Wenham 278 Note to Miss E. S. of Beverley, then at Wenham 279 XVI COATENTS. Pagt Letter to Miss M. W. of Beverley . 281 Letter to Miss H. G. of Bradford . 283 Journal, June 19, 1814 . . . 287-291 Note to Miss E. S. of Beverley . . 291 Letter to Mrs. H. P. of Bradford . . 292 Extract from a Letter to Miss N. K. of New- buryport ..... 295 Letter to Miss S. D. of Wenham . . 298 Letter to Miss E. C. of Wenham . . 305 Letter to Mrs. A. N. of Wenham . . 312 Letter to Mrs. S. E. D. of Beverley . 315 Letter to Mrs. L. B. of Salem . . 319 Journal, Oct. 9, 1814 .... 322,323 Valedictory Address , . . . 324 Address to Christians .... 330 WRITINGS MISS FANNY WOODBURY. Letter to Miss E. A. Beverley. Beverley, Sept. 21, 1806. It was with peculiar pleasure I received your edifying epistle, my dear Miss A^; and with similar sensations I resume my pen to answer it. Though I am sensible I shall not write with ac- curacy nor coherence, yet I will not consume a page in apology. How vain, how transitory, are all the enjoy- ments of time and sense ! They can never sa- tisfy the desires of our immortal minds. Real felicity they cannot impart. Let us then look upon them with a noble indifference, and (as they must one day appear) unworthy the attention of immortal beings. What folly, what madness, to seek for permanent and solid happiness here ! We have immortal souls, that must exist for ever in consummate felicity, or endless misery. We are B 2 MEMOIRS or hastening to eternity, and must soon appear before the tribunal of Christ, to render a strict and impartial account of the deeds done in the body ; and can we then devote our time and attention to the pursuit of terrestrial pleasures ? Young gives us a very excellent caution, " Beware what earth calls happiuess, beware All joys, but joys that never can expire." We are probationers for eternity. We are forming characters and performing actions for a never- ending state of existence. Time is short. Months and years fly away with velocity, never, never, to return. O let it be our concern to improve every mo- ment for our present and eternal good. May we devote our remaining days to God, and sit under the shadow of the Redeemer with great delight. He is the Rose of Sharon, and the Lily of the Valley; the chiefest among ten thousands and altogether lovely. O that I could say without a doubt, " My Beloved is mine, and I am his." God grant we may not deceive ourselves ; but be advocates for his holy religion, till our latest breath. May Heaven bless you temporally and spi- ritually. At the throne of almighty grace, plead for your unworthy friend Fanny. MISS FANNY WOODBURY. 3 JOURNAL, 1807. Sept. 6. Sabhath-day . Attended meeting-, and heard the sublime doctrines of the gospel declared by a minister from Gloucester. O what a mercy is it that I can sometimes hear. O may I practise the duties enjoined ; .and not be like the stony- ground hearers, who receive the word with joy; btit having no root, they endure but for a time, and, when troubles arise, fall away. But may I follow my Lord joyfully even unto deeth. May I glorify him here on earth. O Lord, deliver me from the thousands of temptations, that beset me at every step. O leave me not to my own wicked heart ; but enable me to put my trust in thee alone. Sept. 10. This day I am sixteen years old. O to what little purpose have I lived so many years. For what was I made, but to serve and glorify God 1 And yet what have I done, but rebel against him ? How justly might he now consign me over to the gloomy regions of sorrow and despair, where the least glimpse of hope can never, never, come. Surely he is good, and his mercy endureth for ever ; else I had long ago been in hell, reaping the reward of my doings. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me bless his holy name. O let me never forget this kind, this gracious God. 4 MEMOIRS OF The year past has been the most distinguished year of my life. My mind has been very seri- ously impressed with the truth and importance of religion ; and, I trust, has embraced it. O that this year may place me in the paradise of my God, to go no more out for ever ; there to sit and sing the song of redeeming love though a never-ending eternity. When shall I be vv^ith my God, never to leave or grieve him more ! O thou Searcher of hearts, and trier of reins, wilt thou protect and bless me this year ? O prepare me for all the trying scenes of life. However long or short my life may be, it makes no difference with thee, if every moment be well improved. Sept. 1 1 . Went to Mr. D.'s and conversed with him some time. He gave me such advice, as I never had before. O may I improve it to my everlasting good. O how sweet were his words ; but how few of them can this treacherous me- mory retain. They ought to be engraven on my heart, never to be forgotten. May he live long, to be a blessing to this M'icked generation ; and when death shall summon him to bid adieu to earthly things, may he enter the regions of endless bliss. Sept. 13. Felt very serious and solemn to-day. I view religion of more importance than ever. O, I wonder how a person can live unmindful of MISS FANNY WOODBURY. 5 Christ, and of his dying love. O how wretched, how inconceivably wretched, must that person be, who places all his happiness in this sinful world. O what must be his feelings in the near view of death and eternity. Sept. 14. How I long for the convertion of my youthful companions. O could they realize their awful situation without an interest in the great Redeemer, they certainly could not rest easy. But, alas, they appear very indifferent with regard to eternal things. Was propounded for admission into the church by Mr. D. of Marblehead. This night I made the solemn dedication of myself to God in writing*. Sept. 15. Felt very unwell. Sickness is as pleasant as health, if I can but enjoy a holy God. for perfect conformity to him. Sept. 17. Attended the funeral of Mr. W. D.'s daughter. Heard an excellent prayer ; but, alas, 1 have reason to lament, that it makes no more impression upon my hard heart. O that all who attended may be prepared for their own latter end. Sept. 19. Communion with God ! O how sweet and desirable. The high and lofty One, who inhabits eternity, condescends to hear our *This was in the words of Doddridge. Ste Rise and Progress, ciiapter 17. B 3 MEMOIRS OF prayers, How ought I to spend my days, since all the grace I need to do his will, Jesus is ready to bestow. He says, " Ask and ye shall receive." 1 need only to repair to him, tell my wants and ask wisdom, and he will give me that pearl of great price, which is of more value than all the riches of this world. The past week one of my fellow-mortals was consigned to her kindred dust. She was called home in the morning of life, before she was ca- pable of knowing good from evil. O may this afflictive event be sanctified to the mourning relatives. While the youthful parents ponder in silent grief over their early bereavement, O may they learn to apply their hearts unto wisdom, and justify God. May it teach me also, and my young companions the frailty of life and the certainty of death. O may it cause them seriously to meditate on death and eternity. They have often been reminded of these solemn things ; but, alas ! I fear with no good effect. O that this may prove an effectual warning. Gracious God, im- print it on their memories, that they too must die; and make them willing in the day of thy power. Sept. 21. O the worth of an immortal soul ! It will continue to exist when time is swallowed up in eternity. This surely should be the theme of constant reflection. In all our worldly concerns, MISS FANNY WOODBURY. 7 we should keep eternity in view. Then wouhl the amusements of this world become insipid, and religion appear of all things the most im- portant. Sept. 24. Attended a lecture, but, alas ! could not hear. O ye dear children of God, who can hear sermon after sermon, may you make a wise improvement of all these advantages, while it is in your power. Come, O my soul, bow in holy submission to the will of God. Let not a re- pining thought arise in this heart. Let not a word flow from these lips, which indicates dis- contentment with the allotments of Providence. Sept. 26. Saturday. Visited Mr. D. O thou, who art perfectly acquainted with the inmost re- cesses ofmy heart, I beseech thee, if I am deceived, make known to me the deception. O may my af- fections, desires, and hopes centre in Christ. May I build upon this sure foundation for time and eternity. O thou blessed Jesus, condescend to visit me early with thy mercy, that I may be glad and rejoice all my days. O be thou the guide of my youth, the strength of my riper years, and my everlasting portion, and I am sa- tisfied. Alas ! I intended to devote the greater part of this night to prayer ; but feel so unwell and so drowsy, that I fear I shall hold out but a short time. O gracious God, fit me for the solemn B 4 8 MEMOIRS OF duties before me ; divest my mind of every worldly thought, and fit me to partake of the sacramental bread and w^ine. Blessed Saviour, condescend to grant my request. O be with me in to-morrow's solemn transaction. Sept. 27. Sabbath Eve. This day I publicly gave myself to God, and was permitted to commemorate ray Saviour's dying love. O what a wonder, that I, the most unworthy of mortals, should be brought to the marriage-supper of the Lamb » A most excellent sermon was preached from these words, " I love them that love me : and those that seek me early shall find me." Much was said to the youth. I have now made a profession of the Christian religion, and given myself up to God in my youthful years. I trust I shall ever find satis- faction in what I have done. I have done it in the vigour of health, in the prime of my age. I choose to take up the cross, and daily to fol- low the blessed Jesus, rather than indulge my- self in youthful pleasures. Indeed I have not the least wish for the vain amusements of life. Religion only is capable of giving that happiness, which will remain, when every earthly comfort fails. If we are destitute of this, we are desti- tute of every thing which can render us truly amiable in life, and happy through death and eternity. MISS FANNY WOODBURY. 9 OcL 3. I find I am easily susceptible of that hateful, and detestable sin, anger. Though I abhor it, yet it still remains in this depraved heart. O for a complete victory. To-morrov\^ is the blessed day. I always long for the return of the Sabbath. Though it is sel- dom I hear the preached word, I love to join with the dear saints in worshipping God. Get. 5. Again visited the house of mourning. O how fast w^e drop into the silent grave. Re- lentless death snatches the parent from the children, and the children from the parent. Lord, sanctify this bereavement to surviving relatives and friends. O give them those heavenly joys, which far surpass all earthly comforts. May they so consider their latter end, as to apply their hearts unto wisdom. Lord, enable the parents to bring up their remaining children in the nur- ture and admonition of the Lord. And may they have grace to flee all youthful vanities, and re- member their Creator in their early days. O may their tender minds be impressed with the importance of religion. May they aspire after durable enjoyments, even those which are never fading. Lord, prepare them for an early or later death, and at last receive them into the mansions of bliss, which thou hast prepared for all those who love and serve thee. O may the companions of the deceased take this into serious consider- B 5 10 MEMOIRS OF ation, and prepare for death, judgment, and eternity. Nov. 1. Sabbath. O how can I express my thanks to the lovely Saviour for instituting this sacred day. I went almost entirely stupid to the house of God ; but there those feelings were re- vived, that had lain so long dormant. O thanks, thanks be to the great Redeemer, who was made a curse for us, who has suffered in our stead, to purchase for us eternal salvation, which is free for the vilest of sinners. How ought I to mourn my ungrateful treatment of the Son of God. How often have I wounded and grieved him. Dear Jesus, O forgive me. Pardon my aggra- vated transgressions ; and receive me into thy favour, which 1 esteem more than all the glories of this transitory world. O give me strength in time to come, that I may be more engaged to promote thy glory in a stupid world. O make me a sanctified vessel, though of the meanest use. Nov. 2. To-morrow, by divine leave, I expect to go to Bradford with my sister. May God bless the visit. O may my conversation be such as be- cometh the gospel of Christ. Nov. 4. Yesterday my sister and I rode to my beloved Bradford. This afternoon returned with the amiable and pious N. H. By hearing good conversation, my feelings are somewhat revived. When I left home, I was al- MISS FANNY WOODBURY. 11 most entirely stupid. O how shameful for me to be stupid, when I have always so much to awaken me. O how little do I love the most glorious and most excellent of Beings, if I love at all. O what an ungrateful stupid heart is mine. Nov. 14. Saturday Eve. With another Sabbath in view I resume my pen. I have been informed that P. W. wishes to join the church. Mr. D. says she gives satisfactory evidence of a change of heart. O may she be a sincere advocate for the religion of Jesus. How beautiful to see the youth openly professing the name of Christ. How pleasing to every benevolent mind to see them forsaking the vanities of this ungodly world, and devoting their early days to the service of the great Redeemer. O what vast encouragement is given to youth, to seek God in the morning of life. This is certainly the most favourable sea- son for becoming religious. ooooooooocoo JOURNAL, 1808. Jan. 16. I am resolved, by divine assistance, to spend my time in a better manner, and to redeem more of it from sleep, from vain conversation, and from other things, which have hitherto en- gaged my attention. I intend to spend more time in retirement — in communing with my heart B 6 12 MEMOIRS Of and with my God. Let my conversation be in heaven. I will read and meditate more and oftener, if possible, upon divine things. O Lord, assist me in putting my resolutions into practice. Preserve me from embracing any thing that may dishonour thy cause, or injure my immortal soul. April 21. Next Sabbath I am to commemo- rate the dying love of my Redeemer. But is he mine ? Am I united to him by a living, opera- tive faith ? Am I willing to forsake every thing for him ? Do I love him ? Do I hate sin, not only considered in its destructive tendency, but as the murderer of my Saviour ? Blessed Jesus, am I thine ? Do I love thee above every thing else ? I think I do. O for a more firm trust in him, and more intimate communion with him. What means all this backwardness, dulness, and stupidity ? Are these consistent with a state of grace ? Shew me, dear Lord, O discover to me my situation. Let me not be deceived. Mai/ 10. Harriet's father is dead. This dear, this amiable girl, has followed to the gloomy grave her beloved parent. O that God, the al- mighty God, would comfort and support her under all her trials. May\^. Eliza, my dear sister, is very sick. A few hours, and her state will be fixed. I must follow to the grave another sister, a dear, dear MISS FANNY WOODBURY. 13 child. I have no hope of her life. That dear, that sprightly child, must find a mansion in the tomb. No longer shall these ears hear her charming voice, nor these arms fold her to my longing bosom. For some time she has been speechless. Dear, dear child, how much you suf- fer. O that the almighty God would make her the subject of renewing grace. O Lord, fit her to inhabit the regions of bliss. O give me strength to bear all the trials which await me, without one repining word, or murmuring thought. Let me ever say, " Not my will, but thine be done." May 16. Eliza is gone — my dear, my lovely sister. She has passed the vale of death, and is now, I trust, in glory. I was with her in her last moments, watched her dying pillow, and saw her expire. It was my earnest prayer, that she might depart in peace, and it was a comfort to me, that she died like a lamb. Lord, let this affliction be sanctified to the family. O fit me for my latter end, which I view to be near. Let my last hour be as tranquil and peaceful as hers. June 25. Time flies away, and I do nothing for God. It seems to me, I am as vile a being as ever inhabited this guilty world. All is mixed with sin. Every thing appears hateful on the review, and ought to be repented of. Alas, alts ! wo is me. I am unclean. Sinful, vi^e wretch. 14 MEMOIRS OP Is God holy ? How then can he bear with a worm, who deserves hell every day ! O it is mercy, it is all mercy. Be thankful, O my soul, and bless his holy name, Sept. 10. This day I am 17 years old. I do . not expect to see 17 years more, nor do I wish it, unless I can be useful ; I can hardly reconcile my- self to the idea of a lonj^ life. So sluggish, so stupid, so careless have I been, that if the future should be spent in such a manner, alas, my soul shrinks at the idea. O Lord, fit me for death. Sept. 24. Felt some freedom in approaching to God. O the felicity of one moment's com- munion with God. If it is so sweet to draw nigh to him here, O what will it be to see him face to face in heaven ? Can I, O can I live without him? If I love any thing more than God, I do not love him at all. Let me then look into my heart . Is there any one thing I prize more than God ? I think I can say, I see the vanity of this world, and find it can afford me no solid satisfaction. O why should I live, but to serve and glorify God ! Oct. 29. I have returned from the gay com- panions, with whom I am obliged to associate, glad to retire to my chamber. I have endea- voured to look within, and find I have more rea- son for doubts and fears than ever. I believe Christians exercise much self-denial, but wherein MISS FANNY WOODBURY. 15 do I deny myself ? There is sometimes a great deal of levity in my manners ; and often, after I have indulged it for a moment, I am cut to the heart. Such solemn scenes are before us, that it seems a w^onder that any can be gay. I think the Saviour is precious to me, and I know not v/hom I do love, if I love not him. Nov. 19. One more w^eek is past, and I am hastening to the silent tomb. I have been ap- prized of the death of Mrs. Emerson. She is gone, to be known on earth no more. Shall I not learn to value more that precious Saviour, who appeared for her, supported and comforted her in the hour of death ? O may I have that religion, which was hers, and say in my last mo- ments, as she did, " My Jesus is mine, and I am his," Dec. 1. Thanksgiving. This I expect will prove the last anniversary of this kind I shall ever live to see. By the return of another, Fanny's remains may be mouldering under the clods of the valley. No matter how soon, if death fixes me in the embraces of my God and Saviour. " Farewell to sin and sorrow ; I bid you all adieu." Lelter to Miss N. B. of Beverkj/, without date. My dear Nancy, How awful, how dangerous, is the situation of l6 MEMOIRS or the impenitent sinner ! He is going on in oppo- sition to a holy God, violating his reasonable commands, rejecting Jesus Christ the Redeemer, and grieving the Holy Spirit. He hangs on the brink of eternal wo, suspended by the slender thread of life. O, if this thread should break while he continues incorrigible, what must be his portion ! Eternal truth shall answer ; " De- part from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels." O Nancy, how dreadful the sentence ! What a hell of hells must it be to be separated from God, the only source of happiness. Alas, my heart shrinks from the idea. How can we think of taking up our eternal abode with devils and damned spirits, to join in blaspheming an almighty God ? Is not the thought distressing ? Then let us be up and doing, and pressing into the kingdom of heaven. Do you, Nancy, feel happy? Do you think you could be happy in heaven, with the heart you now possess ? Heaven is a place of perfect holi- ness. Now, unless we be holy, vain is the idea of ever being inhabitants of those blessed man- sions. Thus saith the Lord, " Be ye holy, for I am holy." Though we lead a moral life, yet if our hearts remain unrenewed, what will it avail ? God looks at the heart. He sees our every thought. Even should we deceive ourselves and MISS FANNY 'WOODBIJRY. J7 others, still we cannot deceive him. We are prone to flatter ourselves, and think all is well. Then let us cry with holy David, " Search me, O God, and know my heart ; try me and know my thoughts-; and see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." COCC 00000000 JOURNAL, 1809. March 18. Since I last wrote, I have been con- fined by sickness. I have had the same fever which terminated the earthly existence of my be- loved sister Eliza. I viewed myself as near the grave, and soon to enter upon an eternal state. I felt weaned from all earthly enjoyments, and I think entirely resigned to the sovereign will of God, I even felt reluctant to the idea of staying longer in this vain world. My desire was to be holy like God, and for ever to dwell with him. But God had determined otherwise. I am spared awhile — raised from a weak and debilitated state to comfortable health. And O that the remainder of my life may be spent in communing and walk- ing vv^ith God. March 31. I am more and more impressed with a sense of the vanity of this deceitful world. To-day my thoughts have been much employed 18 MEMOIRS OF on this theme. What are carnal pleasures to a soul just entering eternity ! Can the dying have any relish for vain amusements ? A sick , a dying bed — w^hat is it ? To be emaciated with extreme w^eakness and excruciating pain, w^ithout the comforts of religion, without an interest in a bleeding Saviour — what heart can conceive, what pen can delineate the affecting scene ? O let sin- ners fear and tremble, O my soul, ponder on this weighty subject, and flee for refuge to the bene- volent Saviour. JprH 5. To-morrow is proclaimed a day of public fasting. O that we, as a nation, may fast as becometh us. Much, very much, do we need humiliation. May I be active in preparing for the approaching morn. May I mourn for myself and my fellow mortals, deplore our vile ingra- titude, and invoke the blessings of injured Hea- ven to rest upon us. April 6. Evening. This anniversary is gone for ever. What good have I derived ? What have been my motives in attending public wor- ship ? Did I go to pay homage to Jehovah ? or was I influenced by sordid views ? Have I ap- plied the sermons to my own heart ? Do I grieve for the sins of others, and earnestly pray for their salvation ? O let me thoroughly investigate my heart, and search out its latent evils. From that c