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 Scott, Thomas, 1747-1821. 
 
 The force of truth 
 
^^. 
 
THE 
 
 FORCE OF TR UTH 
 
 AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE, 
 
 By Rev. THOMAS SCOTT, D. D. 
 
 WITH A RECOMMENDATORY LETTER, 
 
 Br Rev. SAMUEL MILLER, D. D. 
 
 TO WHICH ARE ADDED, 
 
 EIGHT LETTERS ADDRESSED TO DR. SCOTT, BY REV. 
 JOHN NEWTON. 
 
 PHILADELPHIA: 
 
 PRESBYTERIAN BOARD OF PUBLICATION. 
 James rcssell, publishing agent. 
 
 1841. 
 
Printed by 
 
 WILLIAM S. MARTIEN. 
 
PREFACE. 
 
 If a book do not apologize for itself, 
 it is in vain for the author to attempt it 
 by a preface ; I shall, therefore, only de- 
 clare the nature and intent of this publi- 
 cation. 
 
 Indeed, it contains little more than the 
 history of my heart, that forge of iniquity; 
 and my conscience, that friendly, but too 
 often neglected monitor. By men in 
 general, this latter is hated, because, as 
 far as informed, it boldly tells the truth: 
 and their grand endeavour seems to be, 
 to lay it asleep, or to render it as in- 
 sensible as if seared with a hot iron. 
 Through the deceitfulness of the human 
 heart, the allurements of the world, and 
 the artifices of Satan, this, at length, is 
 commonly accomplished; and in the 
 meantime, they deafen themselves to its 
 
PREFACE. 
 
 remonstrances, by living in a continual 
 noise and bustle. The conflict in my 
 soul between these two is here related; 
 and some account given of the artifices 
 which Satan, in confederacy with my 
 heart, made use of to keep my conscience 
 quiet, and silence its remonstrances; and 
 also of the means which the Lord em- 
 ployed to defeat this conspiracy, to give 
 conscience its due ascendency, and to 
 incline my before unwilhng heart to be- 
 come obedient to its friendly admoni- 
 tions; with the effect thereof upon my 
 religious views and conduct. 
 
 As to the effect of this publication re- 
 specting my character and worldly in- 
 terest, myself, and all that is dear to 
 me, I would leave in his hands, who 
 causeth all to work together for good, 
 to them that love him, whom be hath 
 called according to his purpose. And 
 he hath so evinced his care over me, 
 and goodness to me, in all the concerns 
 of my past life, that it were shameful, if 
 
PREFACE. 
 
 I did not most willingly cast all my care 
 upon him for the future. But, reader, 
 the effect of it respecting thee, I have 
 much at heart ; and have had, and shall, 
 I trust, continue to have it much in my 
 prayers. 
 
 If thou art a believing servant of God, 
 I hope thou wilt see cause to bless God 
 in me, and wilt be established and com- 
 forted thereby ; according to the fervent 
 desire of my soul, for all that love the 
 Lord Jesus Christ in sincerity. If thou 
 art one, whose experience answers in 
 many things to what is related in the 
 former part of this narrative, as face 
 answers to face in the water, may the 
 Lord, the Spirit who convinceth of sin, 
 alarm thy drowsy conscience, and bring 
 thee under a serious concern for thy pre- 
 cious soul, and its eternal interests : may 
 he incline thine heart diligently to use 
 the means here spoken of, as far as con- 
 science evidences it to be thy duty ; and 
 may he bless the means for enlightening 
 
PREFACE. 
 
 thy mind with the knowledge of the 
 truth as it is in Jesus; and guiding thy 
 wandering feet into the ways of peace. 
 This, be assured, is my hearty prayer 
 for thee; and with this prayer I com- 
 mend this w^ork unto the Lord, that if it 
 be his blessed will, he may employ it as 
 an instrument for advancing his glory, 
 and the salvation of souls. 
 
 THOMAS SCOTT. 
 Weston, Underwood, Feb. 26, 1779. 
 
PREFACE TO THE SECOND EDITION. 
 
 About ten years have elapsed since the 
 first pubUcation of the ensuing narra- 
 tive. In that space I have had much 
 opportunity of re-examining the Scrip- 
 tures, and of making observations, both 
 in the world and in the professing church; 
 as well as of getting a further measure 
 of self-knowledge. But I bless God, that 
 upon a revisal of The Force of Truth, 
 in order to a second edition, I see no 
 cause to retract a single sentence, or to 
 propose any matter differently than be- 
 fore. If any one should bestow the 
 pains to compare this with the former 
 edition, he will indeed find severaX verbal 
 alterations, in which brevity, perspicuity, 
 and precision alone have been consulted: 
 but he will not meet with a single varia- 
 tion, which in any measure changes the 
 meaning of the passage. Had I mate- 
 
y PREFACE. 
 
 rially altered my sentiments, I would 
 either have refused to concur in publish- 
 ing a second edition, or have fairly 
 avowed that alteration : but, on the con- 
 trary, I deem it incumbent upon me to 
 declare, that I am more than ever estab- 
 lished in the belief of all those doctrines 
 that I before proposed, as the leading 
 truths of Christianity. 
 
 THOMAS SCOTT. 
 London, Chapel-street, March 31, 1789. 
 
RECOMMENDATORY LETTER. 
 
 To the Chairman of the Executive Committee of the 
 Board of Publication of the General Assembly of the 
 Presbyterian Church, in the United States: 
 
 Reverend and Dear Brother, 
 
 It is extensively known that the pious and 
 eminently useful Dr. Thomas Scott, the Com- 
 mentator, who for a number of years, occu- 
 pied so high a place in the confidence and af- 
 fections of the friends of evangelical truth and 
 of vital piety, entered the sacred office, with- 
 out any practical acquaintance with the re- 
 ligion of which he undertook to be a teacher. 
 For several years after his ordination, and 
 after he had made the solemn subscription 
 to the thirty-nine Articles, &c., required of 
 those who are received into the Ministry of 
 the Church of England, he was, in spirit 
 and in creed, a Unitarian and Pelagian, 
 and deliberately acting upon the most selfish 
 and worldly principles in all his studies and 
 
 pursuits. From this dream of proud self- 
 1 
 
10 RECOMMENDATORY LETTER. 
 
 confidence it pleased God to awaken him, 
 by a series of events apparently accidental; 
 to lead him to renounce his errors one after 
 another, and eventually to enable him to re- 
 pose and rejoice in that precious system of 
 free and sovereign grace, which once he 
 despised. 
 
 With the account which he has himself 
 given of this change in his views under the 
 title of *' The Force of Truth," you have 
 been long acquainted; and, if I mistake not, 
 more than one edition of this account has, 
 within the last twenty years, been given to 
 the American public. Still the work has not 
 that general circulation which its deeply 
 interesting character renders desirable. I 
 could earnestly wish to see it take a place 
 among the volumes issued by our Board of 
 Publication, and finding its way to every 
 Presbyterian family in the land. I am per- 
 suaded it is in your power greatly to extend 
 its circulation; and, in my opinion, it is hardly 
 possible unduly to multiply the copies of a 
 work so eminently adapted to illustrate and 
 magnify the grace of God. 
 
 What though the venerable Author of this 
 narrative belonged to a different ecclesiasti- 
 
RECOMMENDATORY LETTER. 11 
 
 cal pale from that in which it is our happi- 
 ness to find ourselves, and to labour? This 
 circumstance does not, with me, form the 
 least deduction from its value. Perhaps it 
 may be said to be one of the chief glories of 
 that system which we adopt, as Presbyte- 
 rians, that it turns away the minds of men 
 from an undue regard to the external forms 
 of the Gospel, to that simple purity of evan- 
 gelical truth, which is "the power of God 
 unto salvation to every one that belie veth;" 
 that it guards us against the miserable wor- 
 ship of heartless rites and genealogies, as a 
 ground of hope towards God, and teaches us 
 to place all our confidence on the atoning 
 sacrifice and perfect righteousness of " Him 
 who, through the eternal Spirit, offered him- 
 self without spot, the just for the unjust, that 
 He might bring us to God.^' May it ever be 
 so ! I regard every man as my brother in 
 Christ, however he may differ from me in 
 other respects, who teaches me to "glory in 
 nothing save in the cross of the Lord Jesus 
 Christ;" and who represents salvation, in its 
 beginning, its sum, and its completion, as 
 wholly of free, rich, and sovereign grace 
 "abounding, through righteousness, unto 
 
12 RECOMMENDATORY LETTER. 
 
 eternal life by Jesus Christ our Lord ;" and 
 who, while he unceasingly proclaims, that 
 my title to heaven rests solely on the ground 
 of the atonement and righteousness of the 
 Redeemer as my surety, ceases not to insist 
 that my preparation for heaven can be 
 effected only by the renewal and sanctifi- 
 cation of my heart by the power of the Holy 
 Spirit, and inclining me to "deny ungodliness 
 and worldly lusts, and to live soberly, right- 
 eously and godly, in this present evil world," 
 and to walk before God in all the ways of 
 holy obedience. 
 
 When, therefore, I open the volumes of 
 such men as Scott, and Newton, and Cecil, 
 I entirely forget the system of Prelacy with 
 which they happened to be connected, and 
 drink in the precious streams of evangelical 
 and experimental truth which they pour 
 forth, without thinking that they belonged to 
 a different fold from myself; or rather feeling 
 that they and I belong, in reality, to the 
 SAME Church, the same precious body which 
 the Redeemer has purchased with his blood, 
 and sanctified by his blessed Spirit. Let my 
 soul be with the souls of such men, in what- 
 ever ecclesiastical connection they may be 
 
 M M ^ B ^ 
 
RECOMMENDATORY LETTER. 13 
 
 found, and by whatever name they may be 
 called! If the inspired Apostle Paul presich.- 
 ed the true Gospel, these men preached it, 
 for their language and spirit are all as exactly 
 his, as if he spoke by them. The remark made, 
 many years since, in regard to their great 
 predecessor, the celebrated George White- 
 field, of the same ecclesiastical connection 
 with them, applies here with equal force. 
 More than seventy years ago, while that 
 " prince of preachers " was daily address- 
 ing admiring crowds in the city of Phila- 
 delphia, a group of his opposers was seated 
 in the Coffee-house in that city, listening to 
 an animated harangue of Mr. P. who sus- 
 tained an important office, and a high secu- 
 lar character. He was loading the person 
 and the ministry of Mr. Whitefield with 
 abuse, and warning his hearers against his 
 alleged errors and fanaticism. In the midst 
 of this harangue. Dr. Chovet, an eminent 
 physician, but a bold and profane infidel, en- 
 tered the Coffee-house, and, after listening 
 for a few minutes to the violent language of 
 the speaker, broke out upon him in the fol- 
 lowing homely but pointed style : " P. I am 
 surprised at you ! You profess to believe the 
 
14 RECOMMENDATORY LETTER. 
 
 New Testament. Now I do not; but you 
 do. I am amazed that you can speak as you 
 are doing against a man who preaches as 
 Whitejield does. I do not undertake to de- 
 cide who is right and who is wrong, for I 
 consider it all as a fable; but if the Apostle 
 Paul was right, Whitejield is right, for he 
 preaches as much like him as if Paul had 
 spit him out of his mouth." The verdict of 
 the coarse and blunt infidel was undoubtedly 
 correct. I can never open the pages of Scott, 
 or those of the affectionate friends, contem- 
 porary with him, already named, without 
 feeling confident that, if the holy Apostle of 
 the Gentiles were now to rise from the dead, 
 and revisit our earth, he would, without hesi- 
 tation, recognize them as sincere and enlight- 
 ened fellow-disciples, and fellow-workers in 
 the cause of their common Master. 
 
 It is no doubt true, that the doctrines 
 usually denominated Calvinistic, which JDr, 
 Scott slowly, but firmly embraced, are every 
 where unpopular, and ever will be so as 
 long as human nature remains what it is. 
 All men are by nature proud and self-right- 
 eous, and whenever their minds are turned 
 towards the great question concerning the 
 
RECOMMENDATORY LETTER. 15 
 
 way of salvation, they are prone to imagine, 
 that they can, in part, at least, if not in whole, 
 save themselves. When, therefore, they hear 
 doctrines proclaimed which lay the sinner in 
 the dust before God, and ascribe all the glory 
 of his salvation, from first to last, to the 
 merit and power of Christ ; when they hear 
 it maintained, that " by the works of the law 
 shall no flesh hving be justified," but that 
 we are "justified freely by the grace of God, 
 through the redemption that is in Christ 
 Jesus," they are offended. They cannot con- 
 sent utterly to renounce their own merit and 
 strength, and to accept of salvation as a mere 
 gift of free and sovereign grace. "The car- 
 nal mind is enmity against God; for it is not 
 subject to the law of God, neither indeed can 
 be." Almost every where, then, the popu- 
 lar voice is against the genuine doctrines of 
 the Gospel ; and if the question, whether they 
 are true or not, were put to vote before the 
 mass of society, the decision would probably 
 be two to one, if not three or four to one 
 against them. If the Bible be true, the hu- 
 man heart is on the side of error. We are 
 all, by nature, Pelagians,ox semi- Pelagians, 
 
16 RECOMMENDATORY LETTER. 
 
 until the grace of God teaches us better. 
 This fact, however, instead of being a solid 
 objection to the doctrines in question, ob- 
 viously furnishes one out of many proofs that 
 they are of God. For the word of God every 
 where declares that ^' the truth as it is in 
 Jesus," is distasteful to the carnal heart; 
 that to the children of this world it is every 
 where a " stumbUng block and foolishness." 
 Of course, if the doctrines for which we plead 
 were generally acceptable and popular among 
 the unrenewed and worldly, it would show 
 conclusively that they were not such as the 
 apostles preached. 
 
 D7\ Scott found this attestation given to 
 his new creed, as soon as his having em- 
 braced it was made known. The great ma- 
 jority of his early friends and acquaintances, 
 especially the wealthy, the refined, the ho- 
 nourable, almost with one voice condemned 
 it, and considered him as a sort of degraded 
 man. Only a small number, and those by no 
 means among the world's favourites, felt pre- 
 pared to approve the change, and to bid him 
 "God speed." So it was in the beginning; 
 so it is now; and so it ever will be, as long 
 
RECOMMENDATORY LETTER. 17 
 
 as man is by nature an "alien from the 
 commonwealth of Israel, and a stranger to 
 the covenant of promise." 
 
 It is generally known that the brother in 
 the ministry with whom Mr. Scott corres- 
 ponded, while his mind was undergoing that 
 conflict which issued in his conversion, was 
 the venerable John Newton, whose works 
 have been so eminently popular and useful 
 among the friends of vital piety. This cor- 
 respondence undoubtedly had no small in- 
 fluence among the means which were blessed 
 to the benefit of Mr. Scott. In most of the 
 editions of " The Force of Truth" which I 
 have seen, the name of Mr. Newton is not 
 given. I hope, if your committee should 
 concur with me in judging that this work 
 ought to be made one of the standing publi- 
 cations of our Board, that they will introduce 
 that venerated name at full length in its 
 proper place. I can think of no good reason 
 why it should any longer be withheld. 
 
 It is an interesting fact in the history of the 
 following " Narrative," that, in drawing it 
 up, the author consulted William Cowper, 
 the celebrated English poet, his friend, and, 
 at that time, his neighbour. The eminent 
 2 
 
18 RECOMMENDATORY LETTER. 
 
 talents, the ardent piety, and the deplorable 
 mental sufferings of that great and good man, 
 from a morbid physical constitution, are well 
 known to every admirer of genius where the 
 English language is spoken. That he gave 
 to this work his friendly supervision; that he 
 advised in regard to its style and arrange- 
 ment; and that he gave to the whole his cor- 
 dial imprimatur, will be regarded with in- 
 terest by every intelligent reader. 
 
 One suggestion more. Allow me to re- 
 commend that the eight letters of Mr. New- 
 ton, addressed to Mr. Scott, while he was 
 anxious and inquiring, be added at the end 
 of the volume. They are so excellent, both 
 in matter and manner, that they are well 
 worthy of accompanying the narrative with 
 which they were, historically, so closely con- 
 nected. They may be, in a few cases, in a 
 small degree abridged, if there be a fear of 
 swelling the volume too much. I am per- 
 suaded that all its readers will thank you for 
 the addition. Scarcely any religious -letter- 
 writer ever exceeded Mr. Newton. ^ Ttiose in 
 question, in particular, have one excellence 
 which renders them a model in this class of 
 writings. Forty-nine fiftieths of all the con- 
 
RECOMMENDATORY LETTER. 19 
 
 troversial writings on the subject of religion, 
 that I have ever met with, in the course of a 
 long life, have been by far too polemical in 
 their language and spirit. That is, they too 
 often reminded the reader, however decent, 
 and even polite the style, of " the tug of war." 
 JNewton had the rare talent of arguing with 
 an errorist with so much paternal benigni- 
 ty, as well as force, and of conducting all his 
 controversial arguments with such constant 
 practical appeals to the heart, as entirely to 
 disarm the polemical spirit. This is a happy 
 art; or rather, Ishould say, a precious gift of 
 grace, which nothing but a large measure of 
 the Spirit of Christ can enable any man with 
 entire success to exhibit. We are never so 
 likely to convince and win an adversary, as 
 when we can so address him as to make him 
 forget that we are arguing against him, and 
 'Open his whole heart to our affectionate 
 appeals. Newton had this talent in as great 
 a degree as almost any man ever had. 
 
 Dr. Scott YiB.^ given a very satisfactory note 
 in regard to the popular use of the name 
 Methodist, as a term of reproach in England. 
 If our reading population were as familiar 
 with the state of things there as here, nothing 
 
20 RECOMMENDATORY LETTER, 
 
 more would be necessary; but as they cannot 
 be supposed to be, I will take the liberty of 
 adding one word of caution. In this country 
 the name Methodist is never applied to any 
 other religious denomination than that which 
 was originally founded by the Rev. John 
 Wesley. Whereas, in England, this name 
 is applied, not merely to the Wesley an body, 
 but also to all ministers and members ever so 
 closely connected with the established church, 
 who hold evangelical sentiments, and con- 
 tend for the reality and necessity of heart re- 
 ligion. Dr. Scott had no connection with 
 the Wesleyan Methodists. He was as much 
 opposed to their Arminianism as any Calvin- 
 ist in the land. Still, in that country, where 
 the name in its popular application, is gene- 
 ric, rather than specific, he was constantly 
 reproached as being a Methodist. 
 
 Persuaded that you will concur with me 
 in my general estimate of this work, and 
 hoping that you will be disposed to adopt it 
 as one in your catalogue of publications, 
 I am, reverend and dear sir. 
 
 Your brother in Christ, 
 
 Samuel Miller. 
 
 Princeton, Jan. 12, 1841. 
 
THE FORCE OF TRUTH. 
 
 PART I. 
 
 Giving an account of the state of the author's mind and 
 conscience, previous to, and at the commencement of 
 that change, whereof he purposes to give the history. 
 
 Notwithstanding that ! was not educated 
 in what is commonly considered as ignorance 
 of God and religion; yet, until the sixteenth 
 year of my age, I do not remember that I 
 ever was under any serious conviction of my 
 being a sinner, in danger ofwrath, orinneed 
 of mercy; nor did I ever, during this part of 
 my life, that I recollect, offer one hearty 
 prayer to God in secret. Being alienated 
 from God, thraugh the ignorance that was 
 in me, I lived without him in the world: 
 and as utterly neglected to pay him any vol- 
 untary service, as if I had been an atheist in 
 principle. 
 
 But about my sixteenth year I began to 
 see that I was a sinner ; a leper in every part, 
 "there being no health in me ;" out of many 
 external indications of inward depravity, con- 
 science discovered, and reproached me with 
 one; and I was, for the first time, disquieted 
 3 
 
26 THE FORCE OF TRUTH : 
 
 with apprehensions of the wrath of an of- 
 fended God. My attendance at the Lord's 
 table being expected about the same time, 
 (though I was very ignorant of the meaning 
 and end of that sacred ordinance,) this cir- 
 cumstance, united with the accusations of my 
 conscience, brought an awe upon my spirits, 
 and interrupted my before undisturbed course 
 of sin. 
 
 Being, however, an utter stranger to the 
 depravity and helplessness of fallen nature, 
 I had no doubt but I could amend my hfe 
 whenever I pleased. Previous, therefore, to 
 communicating, I set about an unwilling re- 
 formation ; and procuring a form of prayer, 
 I attempted to pay my secret addresses to the 
 Majesty of Heaven. In this manner having 
 silenced my conscience, I partook of the or- 
 dinance, held my resolutions, and continued 
 my devotions, such as they were, for a little 
 space : but they were a weariness and a task 
 to me ; and temptations soon returning, I re- 
 lapsed ; my prayer book was thrown aside, 
 and no more thought of, till my conscience 
 was again alarmed by the next warning giv- 
 en for the celebration of the Lord's supper. 
 Then the same ground was gone over again, 
 and with the same issue. My goodness was 
 like the morning dew, that passeth away; 
 and loving sin, and disrelishing religious du- 
 ties as much as ever, I returned, as the sow 
 that is washed, to her wallowing in the mire. 
 
 With little variation, this was my course 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 27 
 
 of life for nine years: but in that time I had 
 such experience of my own weakness, and 
 the superior force of temptation, that I secret- 
 ly concluded reformation in my case to be 
 impracticable. " Can the Ethiopian change 
 his skin, or the leopard his spots ?" I was 
 experimentally convinced that I was equally 
 unable, with the feeble barrier of resolutions 
 and endeavours, to stem the torrent of my 
 impetuous inclinations, when swelled by 
 welcome, suitable, and powerful tempta- 
 tions; and being ignorant that God had re- 
 served this to himself as his own work, and 
 had engaged to do it for the poor sinner, who 
 feeling his own insufficiency, is heartily de- 
 sirous to have it done by him; I stifled my 
 convictions as well as I could, and put off 
 my repentance to a more convenient season. 
 But being of a reflecting turn, and much 
 alone, my mind was almost constantly em- 
 ployed. Aware of the uncertainty of life, 
 I was disquieted with continual apprehen- 
 sions, that this more convenient season would 
 never arrive ; especially, as through an un- 
 confirmed state of health, I had many warn- 
 ings, and near prospects of death and eter- 
 nity. For a long time I entertained no doubt, 
 but that impenitent sinners would be misera- 
 ble for ever in hell; and at some seasons such 
 amazing reflections upon this awful subject 
 forced themselves into my mind, that I was 
 overpowered with them, and my fears be- 
 came intolerable. At such times my extem- 
 
28 THE FORCE OF TRUTH : 
 
 pore cries for mercy were so wrestling and 
 persevering, that I was scarcely able to give 
 over; though at other times I lived without 
 prayer of any sort; yet, in my darkest hours, 
 though my conscience was awakened to dis- 
 cover more and more sinfulness in my whole 
 behaviour, there remained a hope that I 
 should one day repent and turn unto God. If 
 this hope was from myself, it was a horrid 
 presumption, but the event makes me willing 
 to acknowledge a persuasion that it was from 
 the Lord; for had it not been for this hope, I 
 should probably have given way to tempta- 
 tions, which frequently assaulted me, of put- 
 ting an end to my own life, in proud discon- 
 tent with my lot in this world, and mad des- 
 pair about another. 
 
 A hymn of Dr. Watts', in his admirable 
 little book for children, entitled, *' The All- 
 seeing God," at this time fell in my way; I 
 was much affected with it, and having com- 
 mitted it to memory, was frequently repeat- 
 ing it, and was thereby continually remind- 
 ed of my guilt and danger. Parents may 
 from this inconsiderable circumstance be re- 
 minded, that it is of great importance to store 
 their children's minds with such useful mat- 
 ter, instead of suffering them to be furnished 
 with such corrupting trash, as is commonly 
 taught them. They know not what use God 
 may make of these early rudiments of in- 
 struction in future life. At this period, 
 though I was the slave of sin, yet as my con- 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 29 
 
 science was not pacified, nor my principles 
 greatly corrupted, there seemed some hope 
 concerning me ; but at length Satan took a 
 very effectual method of silencing my con- 
 victions, that I might sleep securely in my 
 sins: and justly was I given over to a strong 
 delusion to believe a lie, when I held the 
 truth that I did know in unrighteousness. A 
 Socinian comment on the Scriptures came in 
 my way, and I greedily drank the poison be- 
 cause it quieted my fears, and flattered my 
 abominable pride. The whole system coin- 
 cided exactly with my inclinations, and the 
 state of my mind, and approved itself to me. 
 In reading this exposition, sin seemed to lose 
 its native ugliness, and appear a very small 
 and tolerable evil; man's imperfect obedi- 
 ence seemed to shine with an almost divine 
 excellency; and God appeared so entirely and 
 necessarily merciful, that he could not make 
 any of his creatures miserable without con- 
 tradicting his natural propensity. These 
 things influenced my mind so powerfully, 
 that I concluded that notwithstanding a few 
 little blemishes, I was, upon the whole, a 
 very worthy creature. Then further the 
 mysteries of the Gospel being explained 
 away, or brought down to the level of man's 
 comprehension by such proud and corrupt, 
 though specious reasonings ; by acceding to 
 these sentiments, I was in my own opinion, 
 in point of understanding and discernment, 
 exalted to a superiority above the general 
 
30 THE FORCE OF TRUTH : 
 
 run of mankind ; and amused myself with 
 looking down with contempt upon such as 
 were weak enough to believe the orthodox 
 doctrines. Thus I generally soothed my con- 
 science: and if at any time I was uneasy at 
 the apprehension that I did not thoroughly 
 deserve, and was not entirely fit for heaven, 
 the same book afforded me a soft pillow, on 
 which to lull myself to sleep ; it argued, and 
 I thought it proved, that there were no eter- 
 nal torments ; and insinuated, that there 
 were no torments except for the notorious 
 sinners; and that such as should fall just 
 short of heaven, would sink into their origi- 
 nal nothing. With this welcome scheme I 
 silenced all my fears, and told my accusing 
 conscience, that if I fell short of heaven, I 
 should be annihilated, and never be sensible 
 of my loss. 
 
 By experience, I am well acquainted with 
 Satan's intention, in employing so many of 
 his servants to invent those pestilent errors, 
 whether in speculation or practice, that have 
 in all ages corrupted and enervated the pure 
 and powerful doctrine of the Gospel; for 
 they lead to forgetfuhiess of God, and secu- 
 rity in sin, and are deadly poison to every 
 soul that imbibes them, unless a miracle of 
 grace prevent. Such, on one hand, are all 
 the superstitious doctrines of popery, pur- 
 gatory, penances, absolutions, indulgences, 
 merits of good works, and the acceptable- 
 ness of will-worship, and uncommanded ob- 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 31 
 
 servances ; what are these but engines of 
 the devil, to keep men quiet in their sins ? 
 Man, resolved to follow the dictates of his 
 depraved inclination, and not to bound his 
 pursuits and enjoyments within the limits 
 of God's holy law, catches at any thing to 
 soften the horrible thought of eternal misery. 
 This is the awakening reflection, God's sword 
 in the conscience, which 'tis Satan's business, 
 by all his diabolical artifice, to endeavour to 
 sheath, blunt, or turn aside; knowing, that 
 whilst the alarming apprehension is present 
 to the soul, he can never maintain his pos- 
 session of it in peace. By such inventions, 
 therefore, as these, he takes care to furnish 
 the sinner with that which he seeks for, and 
 to enable him to walk according to the course 
 of this wicked world, and the desires of de- 
 praved nature, without being disturbed by 
 such dreadful thoughts. The same, on the 
 other hand, is the tendency of all those spe- 
 culations of reasoning men, which sets God's 
 attributes at variance with each other ; which 
 represent the Supreme Governor so iveakly 
 merciful, as neither to regard the demands 
 of his justice, the glory of his holiness, the 
 veracity of his word, nor the peaceable order 
 and subordination of the universe; which ex- 
 plain away all the mysteries of the Gospel; 
 and represent sin, that fruitful root of evil, 
 that enemy of God, that favourite of Satan, 
 as a very little thing, scarcely noticed by the 
 Almighty; and which, contrary to Scripture, 
 
32 THE FORCE OF TRUTH : 
 
 and universal experience and observation, 
 would persuade us, that man is not a depra- 
 ved creature. 
 
 These latter sentiments I acceded to, and 
 maintained as long as I could; and I did it, 
 most assuredly, because they soothed my 
 conscience, freed me from the pressing fears 
 of damnation, and enabled me to think fa- 
 vourably of myself. For these reasons alone 
 I loved, and chose this ground; 1 fixed my- 
 self upon it, and there I fortified myself with 
 all the arguments and reasonings I could 
 meet with. These things I wished to be- 
 lieve; and I had my wish; for at length I 
 did most confidently believe them. Being 
 taken captive in this snare by Satan, I should 
 here have perished with a lie in my right 
 hand, had not that Lord, whom I dishonour- 
 ed, snatched me as a brand from the burning. 
 
 In this state of mind I attempted to ob- 
 tain admission into holy orders. Wrapped up 
 in the proud notion of the dignity of human 
 nature, I had lost sight of the evil of sin, and 
 thought little of my own sinfulness; I was 
 filled with a self-important opinion of my 
 own worth, and the depth of my understand- 
 ing; I had adopted a system of religion, ac- 
 commodated to that foolish pride, having 
 almost wholly discarded mysteries from my 
 creed, and regarding with sovereign contempt 
 those who believed them. As far as I un- 
 derstood those controversies, I was nearly a 
 Socinian, and a Pelagian, and wholly an Ar- 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 33 
 
 minian; yet, to my shame be it spoken, I 
 sought to obtain admission into the ministry, 
 in a church whose doctrines are diametrical- 
 ly opposed to all the three; without once con- 
 cerning myself about those barriers, which 
 the wisdom of our forefathers have placed 
 about her, purposely to prevent the intrusion 
 of such dangerous heretics as I then was. 
 
 Whilst I was preparing for this solemn 
 office, I lived, as before, in known sin, and 
 in utter neglect of prayer : my whole pre- 
 paration consisting of nothing else but an 
 attention to those studies which were more 
 immediately required, for my reputably pass- 
 ing through the previous examination. 
 
 And thus after some difficulty, with a heart 
 full of pride, and all manner of wickedness, 
 my life being polluted with many unrepent- 
 ed, unforsaken sins, without one cry for mer- 
 cy, one prayer for direction, or assistance in, 
 or a blessing upon what I was about to do; 
 after having concealed my real sentiments 
 under the mask of general expressions; after 
 having subscribed articles directly contrary 
 to my then belief; and after having blas- 
 phemously declared in the presence of God 
 and of the congregation, in the most solemn 
 manner, sealing it with the Lord's supper, 
 that I judged myself to be inwardly moved 
 by the Holy Ghost to take this office upon 
 me, (not knowing or believing that there was 
 a Holy Ghost,) on September the 20th, 1772, 
 I was ordained a deacon. For ever blessed 
 
34 THE FORCE OF TRUTH : 
 
 be the God of all long suffering and mercy, 
 who had patience with such a rebel and 
 blasphemer, such an irreverent trifler with 
 his majesty, and such a presumptuous intru- 
 der into his sacred ministry ! I never think of 
 this daring wickedness without being filled 
 with amazement that I am out of hell j with- 
 out adoring that gracious God, who permit- 
 ted such an atrocious sinner to live, yea, to 
 serve him, and with acceptance, I trust, to 
 call him Father, and as his minister to speak 
 in his name. "Praise the Lord, my soul, 
 and all that is within me, bless his holy name ; 
 Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not 
 all his benefits ; who forgiveth all my sins, 
 and healeth all thy infirmities; who saveth 
 thy life from destruction, and crowneth me 
 with mercy and loving kindness." May I 
 love much, and very humbly and devotedly 
 serve that God who has multiplied his mer- 
 cies, in abundantly pardoning my complicated 
 provocations ! 
 
 My views in entering into the ministry, as 
 far as I can ascertain them, were these three : 
 I. A desire of a less laborious and more com- 
 fortable way of procuring a livelihood, than 
 otherwise I had a prospect of. — 2. The ex- 
 pectation of more leisure to employ in read- 
 ing, of which I was inordinately fond. — And, 
 3. A proud conceit of my abilities, and a vain- 
 glorious imagination, that I should some time 
 distinguish and advance myself in the literary 
 world. These were my ruling motives in 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 35 
 
 taking this bold step: motives as opposite to 
 those which should have influence therein, 
 as pride is opposite to humility ; ambition to 
 contentedness in a low estate, and a willing- 
 ness to be the least of all, and the servant of 
 all ; as opposite as love of self, of the world, 
 of filthy lucre, and slothful ease, is opposite 
 to the love of God, and of souls, and of the 
 laborious work of the ministry. Mine, there- 
 fore be the shame of this heinous sin ; and to 
 God be all the glory of overruling it for good, 
 I trust both to unworthy me, and to his 
 dear people, the church, which he hath pur- 
 chased with his own blood. 
 
 My subsequent conduct was suitable to 
 these motives. No sooner was I fixed in a 
 curacy, than with close application I sat 
 down to the study of the learned languages, 
 and such other matters as I considered most 
 needful, in order to lay the foundation of my 
 future advancement. And would I were now 
 as diligent in serving God, as I was then in 
 serving self and ambition! I spared no pains; 
 I shunned, as much as I well could, all ac- 
 quaintance and diversions; and I retrenched 
 upon my usual hours of sleep, that I might 
 keep more closely to this business. As a 
 minister, I attended just enough to the public 
 duties of my station to support a decent cha- 
 racter, which I deemed subservient to my 
 main design : and from the same principle I 
 aimed at morality in my outward deport- 
 ment, and affected seriousness in my con- 
 
36 THE FORCE OF TRUTH I 
 
 versation. As to the rest, I still lived in the 
 practice of what I knew to be sinful, and in 
 the entire neglect of all secret religion : If 
 ever inclined to pray, conscious guilt stopped 
 my mouth, and I seldom went further than 
 '' God be merciful unto me." However, 
 perceiving that my Socinian principles were 
 very disreputable ; and being conscious 
 from my own experience, that they were un- 
 favourable to morality, I concealed them, in 
 a great measure, both for my credit's sake, 
 and from a desire I entertained, subservient 
 to my main design, of successfully inculcating 
 the practice of the moral duties upon those 
 to whom I preached. My studies, indeed, 
 lay very little in divinity, but this little all 
 opposed that part of my scheme which re- 
 spected the punishment of the wicked in the 
 other world; and, therefore, (being now re- 
 moved at a distance from those authors 
 whence I had imbibed my sentiments, and 
 from whose reasonings I had learned to de- 
 fend them,) I began gradually to be shaken 
 in my former confidence, and once more to 
 be under some apprehensions of eternal mise- 
 ry. Being also statedly employed, and with 
 the appearance of solemnity, in the public 
 worship of God, whilst I neglected and pro- 
 voked him in secret ; my conscience clamor- 
 ously reproached me with base hypocrisy, 
 and I began to conclude, that if eternal tor- 
 ments were reserved for any sinners, I cer- 
 tainly should be one of the number. And 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 37 
 
 now again I was filled with anxious fears 
 and terrifying alarms ; especially as I was 
 continually meditating upon what might be 
 the awful consequence, should I be called 
 hence by sudden death. Even my close ap- 
 plication to study could not soothe my con- 
 science, nor quiet my fears : under the affect- 
 ed air of cheerfulness, I was truly miserable. 
 This was my state of mind when the change 
 I am about to relate, began to take place. 
 How it commenced, in what manner, and by 
 what steps it proceeded, and how it was 
 completed, will be the subject of the second 
 part of this work. This first part I shall con- 
 clude by observing, that though I was stag- 
 gered in my favourite sentiment before men- 
 tioned, and in my views of the person of 
 Christ, was verging toward Arianism; yet 
 in my other opinions I was more confirmed 
 than ever. What those opinions were, I 
 have already in brief declared ; and they will 
 occur again, and be more fully explained, as 
 I proceed to relate the manner in which I 
 was constrained to renounce them, one after 
 another, and to accede to those that were di- 
 rectly contrary thereto. Let it suffice to say, 
 that I was brim full of proud self sufficiency, 
 very positive, and very obstinate: and being 
 situated in the neighbourhood of some of 
 those whom the world calls Methodists,* I 
 
 * Methodists, as a stigma of reproach, was first applied 
 to Mr. Wesley, Mr. Whitfield, and their followers; to those 
 who, though professing an attachment to our established 
 
38 THE FORCE OF TRUTH : 
 
 joined in the prevailing sentiment, held them 
 in sovereign contempt, spoke of them in de- 
 rision, declaimed against them from the pul- 
 pit, as persons full of bigotry, enthusiasm and 
 spiritual pride ; laid heavy things to their 
 charge, and endeavoured to prove the doc- 
 trines which I supposed them to hold, (for I 
 had never read their books,) to be dishonour- 
 able to God, and destructive to morality. 
 And though in some companies I chose to 
 conceal some part of my sentiments, and in 
 all affected to speak as a friend to universal 
 toleration ; yet scarce any person could be 
 moreproudly and violently prejudiced against 
 both their persons and principles. 
 
 church, and disclaiming the name of Dissenters, were not 
 conformists in point of parochial order, but had separate 
 seasons, places, and assemblies for worship. The term 
 has since been extended by many to ail persons, whether 
 clergy or laity, who preach or profess the doctrines of the 
 reformation, as expressed in the articles and liturgy of our 
 church. For this fault they must all submit to bear the 
 reproachful name alike, especially the ministers ; nor will 
 the most regular and peaceable compliance with the in- 
 junctions of the rubric, exempt them from it, if they avow the 
 authorized, but now exploded doctrines to which they have 
 subscribed. My acquaintance hitherto has been only with 
 Methodists of this latter description : and I have them only 
 in view, whenever I use the term. 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 39 
 
 PART II. 
 
 Containing a history of this change : the manner in which, 
 and the means bj which it was at length effected. 
 
 In JanuarVj 1774, two of my parishioners, a 
 man and his wife, lay at the point of death. 
 I had heard of it, but according to my gene- 
 ral custom, not being sent for, I took no 
 notice of it : but one evening, the woman 
 being already dead, and the man dying, I 
 
 heard that my neighbour, Mr. , had 
 
 been several times to visit (hem. Immedi- 
 ately my conscience reproached me with be- 
 ing shamefully neghgent, in sitting at home 
 within a few doors of dying persons, my ge- 
 neral hearers, and never going to visit them. 
 Directly it occurred to me, that whatever 
 contempt I might have for Mr. 's doc- 
 trines, I must acknowledge his practice to be 
 more consistent with the ministerial charac- 
 ter than mine. He must have more zeal and 
 love for souls than I had, or he would not 
 have walked so far to visit and supply my 
 lack of care to those who, as far as I was 
 concerned, might have been left to perish in 
 their sins. 
 
 This reflection aff"ected m.e so much, that 
 earnestly, yea, with tears and without delay, 
 
40 
 
 THE FORCE OF TRUTH : 
 
 I besought the Lord to forgive my past neg- 
 lect ; and resolved thenceforth to be more 
 attentive to this duty : which resolution, 
 though at first formed in ignorant depen- 
 dence on my own strength, I have by divine 
 grace been enabled hitherto to keep. Imme- 
 diately I went to visit the survivor ; and the 
 affecting sight of one person already dead, 
 and another expiring in the same chamber, 
 served more deeply to impress my serious 
 convictions ; and from that time I have con- 
 stantly visited the sick of my parishes, as 
 far as I had opportunity; and have endea- 
 voured, to the best of my knowledge, to per- 
 form that essential part of a parish minister's 
 duty. 
 
 Some time after this, a friend recommend- 
 ed to my perusal the conclusion of Bishop 
 Burnet's History of His Own Times, espe- 
 cially that part which respects the clergy. 
 It had the intended effect : I was considera- 
 bly instructed and impressed thereby ; I was 
 convinced, that my entrance into the ministry 
 had been the result of very wrong motives, 
 was preceded with a very unsuitable prepa- 
 ration, and accompanied with a very impro- 
 per conduct; some uneasiness was also ex- 
 cited in my mind, concerning my neglect of 
 the important duties of that high calling. — 
 And though I was too much the slave of sin, 
 devoted to other studies, and in love with 
 this present world, to relinquish my flattering 
 pursuit of reputation and preferment, and 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 41 
 
 change the course of my hfe, studies, and 
 employments: yet I experienced, by inter- 
 vals, desires, and purposes, at some future 
 period of devoting myself wholly to the work 
 of the ministry, in the manner to which he 
 exhorts the clergy. 
 
 All these things increased the clamorous 
 remonstrances of my conscience; and at this 
 time I lived without any secret religion, be- 
 cause, without some reformation in my con- 
 duct as a man and a minister, I did not dare 
 to pray. My convictions would no longer be 
 silenced or appeased; and they became so 
 intolerably troublesome, that I resolved to 
 make one more effort toward amendment. 
 In good earnest, and not totally without seek- 
 ing the assistance of the Lord by prayer, I 
 attempted to break the chains wherewith 
 Satan had hitherto held my soul in bondage. 
 It pleased the Lord, that I at this time should 
 obtain some advantages; part of my grosser 
 defilements I was enabled to relinquish, and 
 to enter upon a form of devotion. Formal 
 enough indeed it was; for I neither knew that 
 Mediator, through whom, nor that Spirit, by 
 whom, prayers are offered with acceptance 
 to God; and yet, though utterly in the dark 
 as to the true and living way to the throne 
 of grace, lam persuaded, there were even 
 then seasons, when I was enabled to rise 
 above a mere form, and to offer petitions so 
 far spiritual, as to be accepted and an 
 swered. 
 
 4 
 
42 THE FORCE OF TRUTH.* 
 
 I was now somewhat reformed in my out- 
 ward conduct ; but the renewing in the spirit 
 of my mind, if begun, was scarce discerni- 
 ble. As my life was, in my own judgment, 
 less wicked, my heart grew more proud ; — 
 the idol self was the object of my adoration 
 and obeisance ; my worldly advancement 
 was more eagerly sought than ever ; some 
 flattering prospects seemed to open, and I 
 resolved to improve my advantage to the 
 uttermost. At the same time every thing 
 tended to increase my good opinion of my- 
 self; I was treated with kindness and friend- 
 ship, by persons, from whom I had no reason 
 to expect it; my preaching was well re- 
 ceived ; my acquaintance seemed to be court- 
 ed; my foolish heart verily believed, that all 
 this, and much more, was due to my superi- 
 or worth ; whilst conscience, which before, by 
 its mortifying accusations was useful to pre- 
 serve some sense of unworthiness in my 
 mind, was now silenced, or seem.ed to author- 
 ize that pride, which before it checked. And 
 because I had the disadvantage of convers- 
 ing in general with such persons, as either 
 favoured my sentiments ; or out of good man- 
 ners, or because they saw it would be in 
 vain, would not contradict me ; I concluded 
 that my scheme of doctrine was the exact 
 standard of truth, and that by my superior 
 abilities I was capable of confuting or con- 
 vincing all, who were otherwise minded. In 
 this view of the matter, I felt an eager desire 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 43 
 
 of entering into a religious controversy, espe- 
 cially with a Calvinist. 
 
 It was at this time that my correspond- 
 ence Avith Mr. * commenced. At the 
 
 visitation, May, 1775, we exchanged a few 
 words in an argumentative way, in the room 
 among the clergy, which I believe drew 
 many eyes upon us. At that time he pru- 
 dently declined the discourse, but a day or 
 two after sent me a short note, and a little 
 book for my. perusal. This was the very 
 thing I wanted, and I gladly embraced the 
 opportunity, which, according to my wishes, 
 seemed now to offer. This I did, God know- 
 eth, with no inconsiderable expectations, that 
 my arguments would prove irresistibly con- 
 vincing, and that I should have the honour of 
 rescuing a well-meaning person from his en- 
 thusiastical delusions. 
 
 Indeed at this time I had conceived a very 
 favourable opinion of, and sort of respect for 
 him ; because I was acquainted with the 
 character he sustained even among some per- 
 sons, who expressed a disapprobation of his 
 doctrines ; they were forward to commend 
 him as a benevolent, disinterested and inof- 
 fensive person, and a laborious minister. On 
 the other hand, I looked upon his religious 
 sentiments as rank fanaticism, and entertained 
 a very contemptuous opinion of his abilities, 
 natural and acquired. Once I had the curi- 
 osity to hear him preach, and not understand- 
 
 *Rev. John Newton. 
 
44 THE FORCE OF TRUTH : 
 
 ing his sermon, I made a very great jest of it, 
 where I could do it without giving offence. 
 I had also read one of his publications; but 
 for the same reason, I thought the greater 
 part of it to be whimsical, paradoxical and 
 unintelligible. 
 
 Concealing, therefore, the true motives of 
 my conduct under the offer of friendship, and 
 a professed desire to know the truth, (which, 
 amidst all ray self-sufficiency and prejudice, 
 I trust the Lord had even then given me,) 
 with the greatest affectation of candour, and 
 a mind open to conviction, I wrote him a 
 long letter ; purposing to draw from him such 
 an avowal, and explanation of his sentiments, 
 as would introduce a controversial discussion 
 of our religious differences. 
 
 The event by no means answered my ex- 
 pectation; he returned me a very friendly 
 and long answer to my letter; in which he 
 carefully avoided the mention of those doc- 
 trines, which he knew would offend me: he 
 declared, that he believed me to be one that 
 feared God, and that was under the teaching 
 of his Holy Spirit ; that he gladly accepted 
 my offers of friendship, and was nowise in- 
 clined to dictate to me; but leaving me to the 
 guidance of the Lord, would be glad, as occa- 
 sion served, from time to time, to bear testi- 
 mony to the truths of the Gospel, and to 
 communicate his sentiments unto me, on any 
 subject, with all the confidence of friendship. 
 
 In this manner our correspondence began, 
 and was continued in the interchange of nine 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 45 
 
 or ten letters, until December the same year. 
 Throughout I held my purpose, and he his. 
 I made use of every endeavour to draw him 
 into controversy, and filled my letters with 
 definitions, inquiries, arguments, objections, 
 and consequences, and required explicit an- 
 swers ; he, on the other hand, shunned every 
 thing controversial, as much as possible, and 
 filled his letters with the most useful, and 
 least offensive instructions; except that now 
 and then he dropped hints concerning the ne- 
 cessity, and the true nature and efficacy of 
 faith, and the manner in which it was to be 
 sought and obtained ; and concerning some 
 other matters, suited, as he judged, to help 
 me forward in my inquiry after truth. But 
 they much offended my prejudices, afforded 
 me matter of disputation, and at that time 
 were of little use to me. 
 
 This, however, is certain, that through 
 the whole of the correspondence, I disputed 
 with every argument I could devise against 
 almost every thing he advanced; was very 
 much nettled at many things he asserted : I 
 read great part of his letters, and some books 
 he sent me, with much indifference and con- 
 tempt ; construed his declining controversy 
 into an acknowledgment of weakness; and 
 triumphed in many companies as having con- 
 futed his arguments. And at the last, when 
 I could not obtain my end, at my instance 
 the correspondence was dropped. 
 
 His letters and my answers are now by me; 
 
46 THE FORCE OF TRUTH : 
 
 and on a careful perusal of them, compared 
 with all that I can recollect concerning this 
 matter, I give this as a faithful account of 
 this correspondence, though different from 
 what has been represented. His letters will, 
 I hope, shortly be made public, being such as 
 promise greater usefulness to others, than, 
 through my proud, contentious spirit, I expe- 
 rienced from them. Mine deserve only to be 
 forgotten, except, as they are useful to me to 
 remind me what I was, and to mortify my 
 pride ; as they illustrate my friend's patience 
 and candour, in so long bearing with my ig- 
 norance and arrogance ; and notwithstanding 
 my unteachable, quarrelsome temper, con- 
 tinuing his benevolent labours for my good ; 
 and especially as they remind me of the 
 goodness of God, who, though he abominates 
 and resists the proud, yet knows how to 
 bring down the stout heart, not only by the 
 iron rod of his wrath, but by the golden scep- 
 tre of his grace. 
 
 In this manner our correspondence and 
 acquaintance, for the present, were almost 
 wholly broken off; for along time we seldom 
 met, and then only interchanged a few words 
 on general topics of conversation. Yet all 
 along he perseveringly told me, to my no 
 small offence, that I should accede one day to 
 his religious principles; that he had stood on 
 my ground, and that I should stand on his ; 
 and he constantly informed his friends, that, 
 though slowly, I was surely feeling my way 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 47 
 
 to the knowledge of the truth. So clearly 
 could he discern the dawnnigs of grace in my 
 soul, amidst all the darkness of depraved na- 
 ture, and obstinate rebellion to the will of 
 God. 
 
 This expectation was principally grounded 
 on my conduct in the folio wing circumstances: 
 Immediately after the commencement of our 
 correspondence, namely, in May, 1775, whilst 
 my thoughts were much engrossed by some 
 hopes of preferment ; one Sunday, during the 
 time of divine service, when the psalm was 
 named, I opened the prayer book to turn to 
 it ; but, (accidentally shall I say, or provi- 
 dentially ?) I opened upon the articles of re- 
 ligion: and the eighth, respecting the authority 
 and warrant of the Athanasian creed, imme- 
 diately engaged my attention. My disbelief 
 of the doctrine of a trinity, co-equal persons 
 in the unity of the Godhead, and my preten- 
 sions to candour, both combined to excite my 
 hatred to this creed ; for which reasons, I had 
 been accustomed to speak of it with con- 
 tempt, and to neglect reading it officially. No 
 sooner, therefore, did I read the words, 
 " That it was to be thoroughly received and 
 believed; for that it might be proved by most 
 certain warrants of holy scripture;" than my 
 mind Avas greatly impressed and affected. — 
 The matter of subscription immediately oc- 
 curred, and from that moment I conceived 
 such scruples about it, that until my view of 
 
48 THE FORCE OF TRUTH : 
 
 the whole system of gospel doctrine was en- 
 tirely changed, they remained insuperable. 
 
 'Tis wisely said by the son of Sirach, 
 "My son, if thou come to serve the Lord, 
 prepare thy soul for temptation." I had 
 twice before subscribed these articles, with 
 the same religious sentiments I now enter- 
 tained. But conscience being asleep, and the 
 service of the Lord no part of my concern, I 
 considered subscription as a matter of course, 
 a necessary form, and very little troubled 
 myself about it. But now, though full of 
 pride, of ambition, and of the love of the 
 world, my heart was sincerely toward the 
 Lord, and I dared not to venture on a known 
 sin deliberately, for the sake of temporal in- 
 terest. Subscription to articles which I did 
 not believe, paid as a price for church prefer- 
 ment, I looked upon as an impious lie, a 
 heinous guilt, that could never truly be re- 
 pented of without throwing back the wages 
 of iniquity. The more I pondered it, the 
 more strenuously my conscience protested 
 against it. At length, after a violent conflict 
 betwixt interest and conscience, I made 
 known my scruples, and my determination 
 not to subscribe : thus my views of prefer- 
 ment were deliberately given up, and with 
 an increasing family I was left, as far as 
 mere human prudence could discern, with 
 little other prospect than that of poverty and 
 distress. My scruple was, as I now see, a mis- 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 49 
 
 taken one ; much self-sufficiency, undue 
 warmth of temper, and obstinacy, were be- 
 trayed in the management of this affair, for 
 which I ought to be humbled. But my ad- 
 herence to the dictates of my conscience, and 
 holding fast my integrity in such trying cir- 
 cumstances, I never did, nor I trust ever 
 shall, repent of. 
 
 No sooner was my determination known, 
 than I was much blamed by many of my 
 friends. They all, I am sensible, did it out of 
 kindness to me, but they used arguments of 
 different kinds. And though I was confirm- 
 ed in niy resolution by the reasonings used to 
 induce me to alter it; yet were they at length 
 made instrumental in bringing me to this im- 
 portant determination: " not to believe what 
 any man said, as to take it upon his authority, 
 but to search the word of God with this sin- 
 gle intention, to discover whether the articles 
 of the church of England in general, and this 
 creed in particular, were, or were not agree- 
 able thereto.'' I had studied the Scriptures in 
 some measure before, for the sake of becom- 
 ing acquainted with the original languages, 
 and in order to fetch thence detached texts to 
 support my own system; and I had a tolera- 
 ble acquaintance with the historical and pre- 
 ceptive parts of them: but I had not searched 
 this precious repository of divine knowledge, 
 with the express design of discovering the 
 truth in controverted matters of doctrine. 
 I had very rarely been troubled with suspi^ 
 5 
 
50 THE FORCE OF TRUTH : 
 
 cions that I was or might be mistaken; and 
 now rather thought of becoming better quaU- 
 fied upon scriptural grounds to defend my 
 determination,lhanof being led to any change 
 of sentiments. 
 
 However, I set about the inquiry; and the 
 first passage, as I remember, which made me 
 suspect that I might be wrong, was James 
 i. 5. " If any of you lack wisdom let him ask 
 of God, who giveth to all men liberally, and 
 upbraideth not, and it shall be given him." 
 On considering these words with some at- 
 tention, I became conscious, that though I 
 had thought myself wise, yet certainly I had 
 obtained none of my wisdom in this man- 
 ner ; for I had never offered one prayer to 
 that effect in my life : and I also perceived 
 this text contained a suitable direction, and 
 an encouraging promise in my present in- 
 quiry : and from this time, in my poor man- 
 ner, I began to ask God to give me this pro- 
 mised wisdom. 
 
 Shortly after I meditated upon, and 
 preached from John vii. 16, 17. "My doc- 
 trine is not mine, but his that sent me; if any 
 man will do his will, he shall know" of the 
 doctrine whether it be of God, or whether I 
 speak of myself" I was surprised that I 
 had not before attended to such remarkable 
 words. I discovered that they contained a 
 direction and a promise calculated to serve 
 as a clue in extricating the sincere inquirer 
 after truth from that labyrinth of controversy 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 51 
 
 wherein, at his first setting out, he is likely to 
 be bewildered. And though my mind was 
 too much leavened with the pride of reason- 
 ing, as yet, to reap that benefit from this 
 precious text, which it is capable of afford- 
 ing to the soul that is humbly willing to be 
 taught of God; yet, being conscious that I 
 was willing to risk every thing in doing what 
 I thought his will ; I was encouraged with 
 the assurance, that if I were under a mistake, 
 I should some time discover it. 
 
 I was further led to suspect that I might 
 possibly be wrong, because I had not hitherto 
 sought the truth in the proper manner, by 
 attending to Proverbs iii. 5, 6. " Trust in 
 the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not 
 to thine own understanding : in all thy ways 
 acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy 
 paths.'^ Evidently I had not hitherto trust- 
 ed in the Lord with all my heart, nor ac- 
 knowledged him in all my ways, nor de- 
 pended on his directions in all my paths; but 
 in my religious speculations, had leaned 
 wholly to my own understanding. 
 
 But though these passages, and some 
 others, made for the present a great impres- 
 sion upon me, and influenced me to make it 
 a part of my daily prayers, that I might be 
 directed to a right understanding of the word 
 of God; yet my pride and addictedness to 
 controversy had, as some desperate disease, 
 infected my whole soul, and I was not to be 
 cured all at once. I was far from being like 
 
52 THE FORCE OF TRUTH : 
 
 a little child, sitting humbly and simply at 
 the Lord's feet, to learn from him the very 
 first rudiments of divine knowledge. I had 
 yet no abiding suspicion, that all which I 
 had heretofore accounted wisdom was fool- 
 ishness, and must be unlearned, and counted 
 loss, before I could attain to the excellency 
 of the true knowledge of Jesus Christ: for 
 though I began to allow it probable, that in 
 some few matters I might have been in an 
 error, yet in the main I still was confident 
 my scheme of doctrine was true. When I 
 was pressed with objections and arguments 
 against any of my sentiments, and when 
 doubts began to arise in my mind, to put off 
 the uneasiness thereby occasioned, my con- 
 stant practice was to recollect, as far as I 
 could, all the reasonings and interpretations 
 of Scripture, on the other side of the question; 
 and when this failed of affording satisfaction, 
 I had recourse to controversial writings. — 
 This drew me aside from the pure word of 
 God, occasioned my being more remiss and 
 formal in prayer, and furnished me with de- 
 fensive armour against my convictions, with 
 fuel for my passions, and food for my pride 
 and self sufficiency. 
 
 At this time, " Locke's Reasonableness of 
 Christianity," together with his " vindica- 
 tions of it," became my favourite piece of 
 divinity. 1 studied this, and many other of 
 Mr. Locke's works, with great attention, and 
 a sort of bigoted fondness ; taking him almost 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 53 
 
 implicitly for my master, adopting almost all 
 his conclusions, borrowing many of his argu- 
 ments, and being scarcely able to endure such 
 as would not agree with me in my partiality 
 for him. This was of great disservice to 
 me,* as, instead of getting forward in my in- 
 quiry after truth, I was thereby furnished 
 with more ingenious and specious arguments 
 wherewith to defend my mistakes. 
 
 But I read one book at this time, because 
 mentioned with approbation by Mr. Locke, 
 that was of singular use, namely, " Bishop 
 Burnet's Pastoral Care." Therein I found 
 but little that offended my prejudices, and 
 many things, which came home to my con- 
 science, respecting my ministerial obligations. 
 A few short extracts I shall lay before the 
 reader, that were most affecting to my own 
 mind. Page 111, having mentioned the ques- 
 tion proposed to those who are about to be 
 ordained deacons : " Do you trust that you 
 are inwardly moved by the Holy Ghost to 
 take upon you this office, to serve God, for 
 
 * After having spoken so freely of Mr. Locke's divinity, 
 which I once so highly esteemed, it seems a piece of jus- 
 tice to acknowledge the very great obligations, which 
 the whole religious world is under to this great man, for 
 his Treatise on Toleration, and his answers to those who 
 wrote against it. The grounds of religious liberty, and 
 the reasons why every one should be left to his own 
 choice, to worship God according to his conscience, 
 were perhaps never generally understood since the foun- 
 dation of the world, until by these publications, Mr. 
 Locke unanswerably made them manifest. 
 
54 THE FORCE OF TRUTH : 
 
 promoting his glory, and the edifying of his 
 people?" He adds, "Certainly the answer 
 that is made to this, ought to be well consid- 
 ered ; for if any one says, ' I trust so,' that 
 yet knows nothing of any such motion, and 
 can give no account of it, he Ues to the Holy 
 Ghost, and makes his first approach to the 
 altar with a lie in his mouth, and that not to 
 men, but to God." And again, p. 112, 
 " Shall not he (God) reckon with those, who 
 dare to run without his mission, pretending 
 that they trust they have it, when perhaps 
 they understand not the importance of it; 
 nay, and perhaps some laugh at it, as an en- 
 thusiastical question, who yet will go through 
 with the office! They come to Christ for 
 the loaves; they hope to live by the altar and 
 the gospel, how little soever they serve at 
 the one, or preach at the other; therefore 
 they will say any thing that is necessary for 
 qualifying them to this, whether true or 
 false." 
 
 Again, page 122, having interwoven a 
 great part of the excellent office of the ordi- 
 nation of priests, into his argument concern- 
 ing the importance of the work and weight 
 of the ministry; he adds, " Upon the whole 
 matter, either this is all a piece of gross and 
 impudent pageantry, dressed up in grave and 
 lofty expressions, to strike upon the weaker 
 part of mankind, and to furnish the rest with 
 matter to their profane and impious scorn ; 
 or it must be confessed that priests come un- 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 55 
 
 der the most formal and express engage- 
 ments to constant and diligent labour, that 
 can be possibly contrived, or set forth in 
 words." He concludes this subject of the 
 ordination offices, with exhorting all candi- 
 dates for orders, to read thern frequently and 
 attentively, during their season of prepara- 
 tion; that they may be aware beforehand of 
 the obligations they are about so solemnly to 
 enter into; and to peruse them at least four 
 times in a year, ever after their ordination, to 
 keep in their minds a continual remembrance 
 of their important engagements. How ne- 
 cessary this counsel is, every minister, or 
 candidate for the ministry, must determine 
 for himself: for my part, I had never read 
 the office over once, when I was ordained, 
 and was in great measure a stranger to the 
 obligations I was about to enter into, until 
 the very season ; nor did I ever afterward 
 attend thereto, till this advice put me upon it. 
 The shameful negligence, and extreme ab- 
 surdity of my conduct in this respect, are too 
 glaring not to be understood, and applied by 
 every one who hath been guilty of a similar 
 omission. I would therefore only just men- 
 tion, that hearty, earnest prayer to God, for 
 his guidance, help, and blessing, may be suit- 
 ably recommended as a proper attendant on 
 such perusal of our obligations. 
 
 Again, p. 147, he thus speaks of a wicked 
 clergyman : " His whole life has been a course 
 of hypocrisy in the strictest sense of the word, 
 
56 THE FORCE OF TRUTH: 
 
 which is the acting of a part, and the coun- 
 terfeiting another person. His sins have in 
 them ail possible aggravations; they are 
 against knowledge and against vows, and 
 contrary to his character: they carry in them 
 a deliberate contempt of all the truths and 
 obligations of religion; and if he perishes, he 
 doth not perish alone, but carries a shoal 
 down with him, either of those who have 
 perished in ignorance through his neglect, or 
 of those who have been hardened in their 
 sins through his ill example." Again, p. 
 138, having copiously discoursed of the stu- 
 dies befitting ministers, especially the study 
 of the Scriptures, he adds, "But to give all 
 these their full effect, a priest that is much in 
 his study, ought to employ a great part of 
 his time in secret and fervent prayer, for the 
 direction and blessing of God in his labours, 
 for the constant assistance of his Holy Spirit, 
 and for a lively sense of divine matters; that 
 so he may feel the impressions of them grow 
 deep and strong upon his thoughts; this, and 
 this only, will make him go on with his work 
 whhout wearying, and be always rejoicing 
 in it.'' 
 
 But the chief benefit that accrued to me 
 from the perusal of this book was this: I 
 was excited by it to an attentive considera- 
 tion of those Scriptures which speak of the 
 obligations and duties of a minister, and 
 which hitherto I had not observed, or very 
 loosely attended to. In particular, it is yet 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 57 
 
 fresh in my memory, thai I was much affect- 
 ed with considering the charge of precious 
 souls committed to me, and the awful ac- 
 count one day to be rendered of them; as 
 this subject occurred to me in meditating on 
 Ezekiel xxxiii. 7, 9. "So thou, Oson of man! 
 I have set thee as a watchman unto the house 
 of Israel: therefore thou shalt hear the word 
 at my mouth, and warn them from me. — 
 When I say unto the wicked, wicked man, 
 thou shalt surely die; if thou dost not speak 
 to warn the wicked from his way, that wick- 
 ed man shall die in his iniquity, but his blood 
 will I require at thine hand. Nevertheless, 
 if thou warn the wicked of his way, to turn 
 from it; if he do not turn from his way, he 
 shall die in his iniquity, but thou hast de- 
 livered thy soul." I was fully convinced 
 with Bishop Burnet, that every minister is 
 as much concerned in this solemn warning, 
 as the prophet himself. Acts xx. 17 — 35, 
 was another portion of Scripture, which, by 
 means of this book was brought home to my 
 conscience; especially ver. 26, 27,28, which 
 serve as an illustration of the foregoing Scrip- 
 ture: "Wherefore I take you to record this 
 day, that I am pure from the blood of all 
 men, for I have not shunned to declare unto 
 you all the counsel of God. Take heed, 
 therefore, unto yourselves, and to all the 
 flock over which the Holy Ghost hath made 
 you overseers, to feed the church of God, 
 
58 THE FORCE OF TRUTH : 
 
 which he hath purchased with his own 
 blood. '^ 
 
 III short, at his instance I was put upon 
 the attentive and repeated perusal of the 
 Epistles to Timothy and Titus, as containing 
 the sum of a minister's duty in all ages. I 
 searched out, and carefully considered every 
 text I could find in the whole Scripture, 
 which referred to this argument. I was 
 greatly impressed by 1 Cor. ix. 16. "For 
 necessity is laid upon me: yea, wo is me, if 
 I preach not the Gospel.'' Nor was I less 
 struck with Colossians, iv. 17. "Say to Ar- 
 chippus. Take heed to the ministry which 
 thou hast received of the Lord, that thou 
 fulfil it." This was brought to my con- 
 science with power, as if the Apostle had 
 in person spoken these words to me. But 
 especially I was both instructed and en- 
 couraged by meditating upon 1 Peter v. 2 — 
 4. " Feed the flock of God that is among 
 you, taking the oversight thereof, not by 
 constraint, but willingly; not for filthy lucre, 
 but of a ready mind, neither as being lords 
 over God's heritage, but as examples to the 
 flock: and when the chief Shepherd shall 
 appear, ye shall receive a crown of glory, 
 that fadeth not away." 
 
 I hope the reader will excuse my prolixity 
 in speaking on this subject; because in itself 
 it is very important; and though I got no 
 new views of gospel truth from this book, 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 59 
 
 yet I received such a deep conviction of the 
 diflicuhy and importance of that work, in 
 which I had thoughtlessly engaged, and of 
 the imminent danger my soul was exposed 
 to, if I neglected to devote myself wholly 
 thereto; that therein was laid the founda- 
 tion of all my subsequent conduct, and 
 change of sentiment. Indeed, I was guilty 
 of very criminal procrastination, after I had 
 been thus convinced; and being engaged 
 more than I ought in other matters, I post- 
 poned and neglected, for a time, complying 
 with the dictates of my conscience. But I 
 never lost sight of the instruction I had re- 
 ceived, nor ever had any comfortable reflec- 
 tion, until having broken off'all other engage- 
 ments, I had given myself up to those studies 
 and duties which pertain unto the work of 
 the ministry. And I have cause to bless 
 God, that this book ever came in my way. 
 
 Still, however, my self-confidence was very 
 little abated, and my advance in the know- 
 ledge of the truth very small. I next read 
 Tillotson's sermons, and Jorlin's works; and 
 my time being otherwise engaged, I gave in 
 to the indolent custom of transcribing their 
 discourses with some alterations, to preach 
 to my people. This precluded free medita- 
 tion on the word of God, and led me for a 
 time to take up my opinions upon trust. My 
 preaching was in general that smooth pala- 
 table mixture of law and gospel, which cor- 
 rupts both; which, flattering the pride and 
 
60 THE FORCE OF TRUTH : 
 
 prejudice, and soothing the conscience, pleases 
 the careless sinner, and self-righteous formal- 
 ist; but does real good to none. 
 
 About this time I foolishly engaged in a 
 course of diversion and visiting, more than I 
 had done since my ordination: this unfitted 
 me for secret prayer and close meditation, 
 and rendered the Scriptures, and other re- 
 ligious studies, insipid and irksome to me, (a 
 never-faihng consequence of this vain com- 
 pliance with the world.) For a time, there- 
 fore, my ardour was damped, my anxiety 
 banished, and my inquiries retarded. How- 
 ever, I was not permitted entirely to drop my 
 religious pursuits; generally I made it a rule 
 to read something in the Scriptures every 
 day, and had a task of daily devotion; but I 
 was very formal and lifeless in both of them. 
 
 Yet not long after I was engaged in ear- 
 nest meditation on our Lord's discourse with 
 Nicodemus, (John iii.) 1 felt an anxious de- 
 sire to understand this interesting portion of 
 Scripture; especially to know what it was 
 to be born again, or from above, and of the 
 Spirit; which in five verses our Saviour 
 hath three times declared absolutely neces- 
 sary to salvation. It was absurd to suppose 
 that such strong expressions implied no more 
 than baptism with water. Tillotson's con- 
 troversial sermons on this subject, afforded 
 me no satisfaction. Some great and total 
 change I supposed to be intended, not only 
 in the behaviour but also in the heart. But 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NAKRATIVE. 61 
 
 having not yet clearly experienced that 
 change, I could not understand wherein it 
 consisted. However, having offered some 
 poor prayers for divine leaching, I under- 
 took to preach upon it; but I talked very 
 darkly, employed a considerable part of my 
 time in declaiming against visionaries and 
 enthusiasts, and reaped very little benefit 
 from it. Yet I was so well satisfied with 
 my performance, that in the course of my 
 
 correspondence with Mr. , I sent him 
 
 these sermons for his perusal; who, in re- 
 turn, sent me some of his own upon the 
 same subject. But though sincerely desirous 
 to understand our Lord's meaning in this 
 important matter, I was too proud to be 
 taught by him: I cast my eye, therefore, 
 carelessly, over some of them, and returned 
 the manuscript without attending to any thing 
 contained in it. 
 
 Nothing material occurred after this, until 
 the next spring, 1776; when I was induced 
 by what I had learned from Bishop Burnet, 
 to establish a lecture once a week in one of 
 my parishes, for expounding the Scriptures. 
 This brought many passages, which I had 
 not observed, under attentive consideration, 
 and afforded my reflecting mind abundance 
 of employment, in attempting to reconcile 
 them with each other, and with my scheme 
 of doctrine. 
 
 Little progress, howevler, had been made 
 when, ill May, 1776, I heard a dignified 
 
62 THE FORCE OF TRUTH: 
 
 clergyman, in a visitation sermon, recom- 
 mend Mr. Soame Jenyns's "Treatise on the 
 internal evidences of Christianity." In con- 
 sequence of this recommendation, I perused 
 it, and not unprofitably. The truth and im- 
 portance of the gospel revelation appeared 
 with convincing evidence to my understand- 
 ing, and came with efficacy to my heart, by 
 reading this book: thence I received more 
 distinct and heart-affecting views of the de- 
 sign of God in this revelation of himself; and 
 I was led to much serious reflection, and 
 earnest prayer, to be led to, or est'^iblished in 
 the truth, concerning the nature and reality 
 of the atonement by the death of Christ, for 
 hitherto I was a Socinian, or very little bet- 
 ter in this respect. 
 
 But to counterbalance this advantage. Dr. 
 Clarke's Scripture doctrine of the Trinity, 
 and the controversy which ensued upon its 
 publication, became a favourite part of my 
 study. The Arian scheme seems so incon- 
 sistent with reason, that when reflecting men, 
 in order to avoid those mysterious, and, as 
 they imagine, unreasonable conclusions, 
 which, according to the true meaning of 
 words, the Scriptures contain, have been in- 
 duced to become Arians; it is wonderful 
 they do not, for the same cause, embrace the 
 Socinian system. This is the natural pro- 
 gress of unhumbled reason; from Arian- 
 ism to Socinianism ; from Socinianism to De- 
 ism; and then to Atheism. Many and aw- 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 63 
 
 ful have been the examples of reasoning and 
 learned men, who, under the name of phi- 
 losophers, arrogating to themselves the pre- 
 rogative of superior discernment, have mani- 
 fested the propriety with which they claimed 
 this pre-eminence, by treading this downhill 
 road, almost, if not quite, to the very bottom. 
 But when a man has fallen so low as So- 
 cinianisni, not merely for want of informa- 
 tion, or by blindly and implicitly adopting 
 the sentiments of other men, but by leaning 
 on his own understanding, and preferring the 
 conclusions of his own reason, to the infalH- 
 ble dictates of the Holy Ghost; it is not com- 
 mon for him to return gradually by the re- 
 trogade path, first to Arianism, and then to 
 the received doctrine of the Trinity. Yet 
 this was my case. Dr. Clarke appeared to 
 me so undeniably to establish his argument, 
 by express Scripture evidences, and so plau- 
 sibly defended his system on both hands, 
 and backed his cause with so many seeming 
 authorities, that on one side I found myself 
 unable any longer to maintain my Socinian 
 principles, but was constrained to relinquish 
 them as untenable; and on the other, I was 
 not aware of the flaw in his reasoning, and 
 the unavoidable consequence of his middle 
 doctrine; namely, that the Son, and Holy 
 Ghost, however exalted, or dignified Avith 
 names and titles, must either be mere crea- 
 tures, or that otherwise there must be three 
 Gods. Not perceiving this, and my newly 
 
64 THE FORCE OF TRUTH : 
 
 acquired reverence for Scripture, and my old 
 self-confidence and fondness for reasoning, 
 being, by this conciliating scheme, both hu- 
 moured, 1 cordially acceded to his sentiments, 
 and for a long time could not endure any 
 other doctrine. 
 
 Nothing further, of any consequence, oc- 
 curred till about December, 1776, when Mr. 
 Law's " Serious Call," a book I had hitherto 
 treated with contempt, was carelessly taken 
 up by me. But I had no sooner opened it, 
 than I was struck with the originality of the 
 work, and the spirit and force of argument 
 wherewith it is written. This I speak mere- 
 ly as to his management of the subject he 
 treats of; for there are many things in it, 
 that I am far from approving ; and to be sure 
 it contains as little gospel, as any book of re- 
 ligion I am acquainted with. But though a 
 very uncomfortable book for a person who is 
 duly brought under a serious concern for his 
 soul ; yet it is very useful to prepare the way, 
 to show the need which we have of a Saviour, 
 and to enforce the practice of that holy dili- 
 gence in the use of means, which the impor- 
 tant interests of eternity reasonably demand. 
 This was its use to me. By the perusal of 
 it, I was convinced that I was guilty of great 
 remissness and negligence; that the duties of 
 secret devotion called for far more of my time 
 and attention than had been hitherto allotted 
 to them; that if I hope to save my own soul, 
 and the souls of those that heard me, I must 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 65 
 
 in (his respect greatly alter my conduct, and 
 increase njy diligence in seeking and serving 
 the Lord. From that time I began to study 
 in what manner my devotions might be ren- 
 dered more fervent and pertinent ; I trans- 
 cribed and laid up in my memory, Scripture 
 petitions; I employed sometime in reading 
 manuals of devotion, made attempts to com- 
 pose prayers myself, and became more fre- 
 quent and earnest, and I trust more spiritual 
 than heretofore, in my secret addresses to the 
 Majesty of Heaven. 
 
 About this time, after many delays, I com- 
 plied with the admonitions of my conscience, 
 and disengaged myself from all my other em- 
 ployments, with a solemn resolution of leav- 
 ing all my temporal concerns in the hands of 
 the Lord, and of entirely devoting myself to 
 the work of the ministry. Being thus become 
 master of all my time, I dropped every other 
 study, and turned the whole current of my 
 reflections, inquiries,and reading into another 
 channel, and thenceforth scarce opened a 
 book, which treated of any thing beside re- 
 ligion. 
 
 The first step I took after this disengage- 
 ment, was to keep common-place books; one 
 I had for noting down remarkable passages 
 out of other authors ; and another for collect- 
 ing into one view every text I could meet with 
 in Scripture, respecting the most important 
 and controverted doctrines of the gospel. — 
 Though I held to this but a little time, (for 
 6 
 
66 THE FORCE OF TRUTH : 
 
 when my engagements multiplied, I dropped 
 it,) yet I found it very useful, in bringing me 
 acquainted with many passages of the word 
 of God, to which I had not hitherto much at- 
 tended; and it prepared the way for penning 
 my sermons on doctrinal subjects, with the 
 scripture testimonies concerning the point in 
 hand, in one view before me. 
 
 In January, 1777, I met with a very high 
 commendation of Mr. Hooker's works, with 
 the honourable distinction of judicious be- 
 stowed upon him. This excited my curi- 
 osity to read his book, which accordingly I 
 did, with great profit. In his discourse upon 
 justification, page 496, folio edition, printed 
 1682, I met with the following remarkable 
 passage, which, as well for its excellency, as 
 for the effect thereof upon my religious views, 
 I shall, though somewhat long, transcribe. 
 "If our hands did never offer violence to our 
 brethren, a bloody thought doth prove us 
 murderers before him. If we had never 
 opened our mouth to utter any scandalous, 
 offensive, or hurtful word, the cry of our 
 secret cogitations is heard in the ears of 
 God. If we did not commit the sins, which 
 daily and hourly, in deed, word, or thoughts, 
 we do commit; yet in the good things which 
 we do, how many defects are there inter- 
 mingled! God, in that which is done, re- 
 specteth the mind and intention of the doer; 
 cut off then all those things, Avherein we 
 have regarded our own glory, those things 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 67 
 
 which men do to please men, and to satisfy 
 our own liking, those things which we do 
 for any by respect, not sincerely, and purely 
 for the love of God; and a small score will 
 serve for the number of our righteous deeds. 
 Let the holiest and best things which we do, 
 be considered: we are never better affected 
 nnto God, than when we pray; yet when we 
 pray, how are our affections many times dis- 
 tracted! how little reverence do we show 
 tmto the grand Majesty of heaven, unto 
 whom we speak! how little remorse of our 
 own miseries! how little taste of the sweet 
 influence of his tender mercies do we feel! 
 Are we not as unwilling many times to be- 
 gin, and as glad to make an end, as if in say- 
 ing, ^ Call upon me,' he had set us a very 
 burdensome task? It may seem somewhat 
 extreme, which I will speak; therefore let 
 every one judge of it, even as his own heart 
 shall tell him, and no otherwise. I will but 
 only make a demand ! if God should yield 
 unto us, not as unto Abraham; if fifty, forty, 
 thirty, twenty, yea, or if ten good persons 
 could be found in a city, for their sakes, the 
 city should not be destroyed: but, and if he 
 should make us an offer thus large: Search 
 all the generations of men since the fall of 
 our father Adam; find one man, that hath 
 done one action, which hath passed from 
 him pure without any stain or blemish at 
 all; and for that one man's only action, nei- 
 ther men nor angels shall feel the torments 
 
68 THE FORCE OF TRUTH: 
 
 which are prepared for both. Do yoa think 
 that this ransom to deliver men and angels 
 could be found among the sons of men? The 
 best things which we do have somewhat in 
 them to be pardoned; how then can we do 
 any thing meritorious, or worthy to be re- 
 warded? Indeed, God liberally promiseth 
 whatsoever appertaineth to a blessed life to 
 as many as sincerely keep his law, though 
 they be not exactly able to do it. Where- 
 fore we acknowledge a dutiful necessity of 
 doing well, but the meritorious dignity of 
 doing well we utterly renounce. We see 
 how far we are from the perfect righteous- 
 ness of the law; the little fruit, which we 
 have in holiness, it is, God knoweth, corrupt 
 and unsound; we put no confidence at all in 
 it; we challenge nothing in the world for it; 
 we dare not call God to reckoning, as if we 
 had him in our debt books. Our continual 
 suit to him is, and must be, to bear with our 
 infirmities, and pardon our offences." 
 
 I had no sooner read this passage, than I 
 acquired such an insight into the strictness 
 and spirituality of the divine law, and the 
 perfection which a just and holy God, accord- 
 ing to that law, cannot but require in all the 
 services of his reasonable creatures; that I 
 clearly perceived my very best duties on 
 which my main dependence had hitherto 
 been placed, to be mere specious sins; and 
 my whole life appeared to be one continued 
 series of transgressions. I now understood 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 69 
 
 the apostle's meaning, when he affirms, 
 " That by the works of the law can no flesh 
 be justified before God." All my difficul- 
 ties in this matter vanished; all my distinc- 
 tions and reasonings about the meaning of 
 the words law and justification, and all my 
 borrowed criticisms about them, failed me at 
 once. I could no longer be thus amused; 
 for I was convinced, beyond the possibility 
 of a doubt, that all men were so notoriously 
 transgressors of every law of God, that they 
 none of them could be justified in his sight, 
 according to any law: I was sensible that if 
 God should only call me into judgment be- 
 fore him, according to the strictness of his 
 perfect law, for the best duty I ever per- 
 formed, I must be condemned as a trans- 
 gressor; when weighed in these exact bal- 
 ances, it would be found wanting. Thus 
 was I effectually convinced, that if ever I 
 were saved, it must be in some way of un- 
 merited mercy and grace, though I under- 
 stood not clearly in what way, till long after. 
 Immediately, therefore, I took for my text, 
 Galatians iii. 22. "But the Scripture hath 
 concluded all under sin, that the promise 
 that is by faith in Jesus Christ, might be 
 given to them that believe;" and preached 
 from it according to Hooker's doctrine; ex- 
 pressing, as strongly as I could, the defile- 
 ments of our best actions, and our need of 
 mercy in every thing we did; in order the 
 more evidently to show that salvation was 
 
70 THE FORCE OF TRUTH : 
 
 of grace, through faith, not of works, lest 
 any man should boast. However, I had 
 not yet attained unto the knowledge of the 
 foulness of that fountain whence all these 
 poHuted streams flow forth so plentifully into 
 our lives and conversations. 
 
 I was not then able to receive the follow- 
 ing nervous passages concerning justification, 
 (p. 495.) "But the righteousness, wherein we 
 must be found, if we will be justified, is not 
 our own; therefore we cannot be justified 
 by any inherent quality; Christ hath merited 
 righteousness for as many as are found in 
 him. In him God findeth us if we be faith- 
 ful; for by faith we are incorporated into 
 Christ. Then, although in ourselves we be 
 altogether sinful and unrighteous, yet even 
 the man who is impious in himself full of 
 iniquity, full of sin; him being found in 
 Christ through faith, and having his sin re- 
 mitted through repentance; him God up- 
 holdeth with a gracious eye, putteth away 
 his sin by not imputing it; taketh quite away 
 the punishment due thereunto by pardoning 
 it; and accepteth him in Jesus Christ as per- 
 fectly righteous, as if he had fulfilled all that 
 was commanded him in the law. Shall I 
 say more perfectly righteous, than if himself 
 had fulfilled the whole law? I must take 
 heed what I say; but the apostle saith, 
 * God made him to he sin for us, who kneiv 
 no sin, that we might he made the righte- 
 ousness of God in him.'' Such are we in 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 71 
 
 the sight of God the Father, as is the very- 
 Son of God himself. Let it be counted folly, 
 or frenzy, or fury, whatsoever; it is our com- 
 fort and our wisdom; we care for no know- 
 ledge in the world but this, that man hath 
 sinned, and God hath suffered; that God 
 hath made himself the Son of man, and that 
 men are made the righteousness of God/' 
 
 Equally determinate and expressive is 
 what he says, p. 500, " As for such as hold 
 with the church of Rome, that we cannot be 
 saved by Christ alone without works, they 
 do not only by a circle of consequence, but 
 directly, deny the foundation of faith ; they 
 hold it not; no, not so much as by a single 
 thread." If the judicious Mr. Hooker's 
 judgment may, in this important concern, be 
 depended on, as I suppose it will not easily 
 be proved erroneous, I fear the foundation, 
 of faith is only held by a small part of that 
 church which has honoured her champion 
 with this distinction. 
 
 Page 50S and 509, he thus defends his 
 doctrine against the objections of the Papists, 
 (for at that time none but the Papists object- 
 ed to it,) " It is a childish cavil, wherewith, in 
 the matter of justification, our adversaries do 
 so greatly please themselves, exclaiming that 
 we tread all Christian virtues under our feet, 
 and require nothing of Christians but faith; 
 because we teach that faith alone justifieth. 
 Whereas, by this speech we never meant to 
 exclude either hope or charity from being 
 
72 THE FOKCE OF TRrTH : 
 
 always joined as inseparable mates with faith, 
 in the man that is justified; or works from 
 being added as necessary duties required at 
 the hands of every justified man; but to show 
 that faith is the only hand which putteth on 
 Christ unto justification ; and Christ the only 
 garment, which being so put on, covereth the 
 shame of our defiled natures — hideth the 
 imperfection of our works — preserveth us 
 blameless in the sight of God : before whom, 
 otherwise, the weakness of our faith were 
 cause sufficient to make us culpable, yea, to 
 shut us from the kingdom of heaven, where 
 nothing that is not absolute can enter/' 
 
 Had I at this time met with such passages 
 in the writings of the Dissenters, or any of 
 those modern publications, which, under the 
 brand of methodistical, are condemned with- 
 out reading, or perused with invincible pre- 
 judice, I should not have thought them worth 
 regard, but should have rejected them as wild 
 enthusiasm. But I knew that Hooker was 
 deemed perfectly orthodox, and a standard 
 writer, by the prelates of the church in his 
 own days. I learned from his dispute with 
 Mr. Travers, that he was put upon his de- 
 fence, for making concessions in this matter 
 to the church of Rome, which the zealous 
 Protestants did not think warrantable; that 
 he was judged by the more rigid, too lax in 
 his doctrines; by none too rigid. I had never 
 heard that it had been insinuated, that he 
 was tinctured with enthusiasm; and the so- 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATI\'^E. 73 
 
 lidity of his judgment, and acuteness of his 
 reasoning faculties, needed no voucher to the 
 attentive reader. His opinion therefore car- 
 ried great weight with it ; made me suspect 
 the truth of my former sentiments, and put 
 me upon serious inquiries, and deep medita- 
 tion upon this subject, accompanied with ear- 
 nest prayers for the teaching and direction of 
 the Lord therein. The result was, that after 
 many objections, and doubts, and much ex- 
 amination of the word of God, in a few 
 months I began to accede to Mr. Hooker's 
 sentiments. And at the present my opinion 
 in this respect, as far as I know, coincides 
 with these passages of this eminent author, 
 and is supported and vindicated with the 
 same arguments ; he, therefore, who would 
 prove our doctrine of justification by faith 
 alone to be an error, will do well to answer 
 in the first place these quotations from Mr. 
 Hooker. 
 
 And, indeed, as far as I can understand 
 him, there is scarce any doctrine, which, 
 with no inconsiderable offence, I now preach, 
 that is not as evidently contained in his 
 writings, as in my sermons. Witness parti- 
 cularly his " Discourse of the certainty, and 
 perpetuity of faith in the elect," in which the 
 doctrine of the final perseverance of true be- 
 lievers, as far as seems worth contending for, 
 is expressly taught and maintained : And he 
 closes it with this noble triumph of full assu- 
 rance, as resulting from that comfortable 
 7 
 
74 THE FORCE OF TRUTH I 
 
 doctrine in the hearts of confirmed and ex- 
 perienced Christians : (page 532.) "I know 
 in whom I have beUeved ; I am not ignorant 
 whose precious blood has been shed for me ; 
 I have a shepherd full of kindness, full of 
 care, full of power ; unto him I commit my- 
 self. His own finger hath engraven this sen- 
 tence in the tables of my heart : Satan hath 
 desired to winnow thee as wheat, but I have 
 prayed that thy faith fail not; therefore 
 the assurance of my hope I will labour to keep 
 as a jewel unto the end, and by labour through 
 the gracious mediation of his prayers, I shall 
 keep it." With such words in my mouth, 
 and such assurance in my heart, I wish to 
 live, and hope to die. 
 
 The insertion of these quotations from this 
 old author, I hope will need no apology; 
 many have not his works, and these extracts 
 are worthy of their perusal; others, from 
 these specimens, may be prevailed on to read, 
 what perhaps hath hitherto been an unnoticed 
 book in their studies. Especially I recom- 
 mend to those who admire him as the cham- 
 pion of their external order and discipline of 
 the church, and such as willingly allow him 
 the honour of being distinguished by the epi- 
 thet judicious; that they would attentively 
 read, and impartially consider his doctrine. 
 This would put an effectual stop to those 
 declamations, that either ignorantly or mali- 
 ciously are made against those very doctrines 
 as novel inventions, which have just now 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 75 
 
 been explained and defended, in Mr. Hook- 
 er's own words. For my own part, though 
 I acknowledge that he advances many- 
 things I should be unwilling to subscribe to; 
 yet I heartily bless God, that at this time I 
 read him; the first material alteration that 
 took place in my views of the Gospel,- being 
 in consequence thereof. 
 
 One more quotation I shall produce, and 
 so take my leave of him; (page 552,) ad- 
 dressing himself unto the pastors, who are 
 appointed to feed the chosen in Israel, he 
 says, " If there be any feeling of Christ, any 
 drop of heavenly dew, any spark of God's 
 good Spirit within you, stir it up: be careful 
 to build and edify, first yourselves, and then 
 your flocks, in his most holy faith. I say, 
 first yourselves; for he, which will set the 
 hearts of other men on fire with the love of 
 Christ, must himself burn with love. It is 
 want of faith in ourselves, my brethren, 
 which makes us watchless, (careless,) in 
 building others. We forsake the Lord's in- 
 heritance, and feel it not. What is the rea- 
 son of this? Our own desires are settled 
 where they should not be. We ourselves 
 are like those women, which have a longing 
 to eat coals, and lime, and filth; we are fed, 
 some with honour, some with ease, some 
 with wealth. The Gospel waxeth loathsome 
 and unpleasant in our taste. How should 
 we then have a care to feed others whh that 
 we cannot fancy ourselves? If faith wax 
 
76 THE FORCE OF TRUTH : 
 
 cold and slender in the heart of the prophet, 
 it will soon perish from the ears of the peo- 
 ple.'' 'Tis not needful to add any reflections 
 upon this passage; every one will readily 
 make them for himself; we are, however, 
 reminded thereby of Solomon's words, 
 (Eccl. i. 9, 10.) "There is no new thing 
 under the sun; is there any thing whereof it 
 may be said, see this is new? It hath been 
 already of old time which was before us." 
 (Eccl. iii. 15.) "That which hath been, is 
 now, and that which is to be, hath already 
 been." 
 
 To my shame be it spoken, though I had 
 twice subscribed the articles which allow the 
 book of Homilies to be sound and wholesome 
 doctrine, I had never yet seen them, and un- 
 derstood not what that doctrine was. But 
 now, being engaged in a serious inquiry after 
 truth, and Hooker's works having given me 
 a most favourable opinion of these old au- 
 thors, I was inclined to examine them; and 
 read part of the book with some degree of 
 attention. And though many things seemed 
 hard sayings, that I could not receive; yet 
 many others were made very useful to me, 
 especially concerning justification. In short, 
 I perceived that that doctrine which I had 
 hitherto despised as methodistical, was the 
 standard doctrine of the established church, 
 when that book was composed; and, conse- 
 quently, that it was so still: for that book 
 has lost none of its authority; though much 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 77 
 
 of its esteem with those who subscribe the 
 thirty-nine articles. This weakened my pre- 
 judice, though it did not prove the doctrine 
 true. 
 
 About this time anew and unexpected ef- 
 fect was produced by my preachitig. I had 
 hitherto been satisfied to see people regularly 
 frequent the church, listen attentively to 
 what was discoursed, and lead moral, decent 
 lives. The way in which I had been led was 
 so smooth, and the progress I had made so 
 gradual; I had lately so little experienced dis- 
 tressing concern for my own soul, and had so 
 little acquaintance with persons conversant 
 with these matters, that though I declared 
 the strictness, and spirituality, and sanction 
 of the law of God in an alarming manner, yet 
 it never occurred to me but that they who 
 profited thereby, would proceed in the same 
 easy gradual way. But I had scarce begun 
 this new method of preaching, when applica- 
 tion was made to me by persons in great dis- 
 tress about their souls; their conscience being 
 awakened to a sense of their lost condition 
 by nature and practice, they were anxious in 
 inquiring, what they must do to be saved? 
 I knew not well what to say to them, my 
 views being very clouded, and my sentiments 
 very perplexed concerning justification: but 
 being willing to give them the best counsel I 
 could, I exhorted them to believe in the Lord 
 Jesus Christ, though I was neither capable 
 of instructing them concerning the true na- 
 
78 THE FORCE OF TRUTH : 
 
 ture of faith, nor in what manner they were 
 to seek for it. However, I better understood 
 my own meaning, when I advised them to 
 the study of the Scriptures, accompanied 
 with prayer to God, to be led to the right 
 understanding of them; and when I incul- 
 cated amendment of life. In this manner the 
 Lord slowly brought them forward: and 
 though, for want of a better instructer, they 
 were a considerable time before they arrived 
 at establishment in the faith, yet some of 
 them, having their minds less leavened with 
 prejudice and the pride of reasoning, were 
 more apt scholars in the school of Christ than 
 I was, and got the start of me in the know- 
 ledge both of doctrine and duty; and in their 
 turns became, though without intending it, in 
 some things my monitors, to my no small ad- 
 vantage. 
 
 This singular circumstance of being the 
 instrument of a work of grace in others, 
 whilst I myself so little understood the true 
 Gospel of Jesus Christ, very much increased 
 my perplexity. I became doubly earnest to 
 know the truth lest I should mislead those 
 who confided their precious souls to me, as 
 their spiritual instructer. This added to my 
 diligence in reading and meditating on the 
 word of God; and made me more earnest in 
 prayer to be guided to the knowledge of the 
 truth. And under every difficulty I con- 
 stantly had recourse unto the Lord to pre- 
 serve me from ignorance and error, and to 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 79 
 
 enable me to distinguish between the doc- 
 trines of his word, and the inventions and 
 traditions of men. 
 
 At this time I established a weekly lecture 
 for expounding Scripture in my other parish, 
 which occasioned my further acquaintance 
 with the various parts of the word of God. 
 It was my general practice in penning these 
 lectures, to search out all the Scriptures re- 
 ferred to in the margin, and all others I could 
 recollect upon the subject, and to make use 
 of them in explaining each other. This me- 
 thod enabled me to store my memory with 
 texts of Scripture, and made way for a greater 
 exactness in discussing doctrinal subjects, 
 than I had hitherto been acquained with. 
 
 In the course of this winter, 1777, I was 
 engaged in deep meditation upon Luke xi. 9. 
 13; concerning the Holy Spirit being given 
 in answer to prayer. And, at length, having 
 made a collection of all the Scriptures I could 
 meet with which respected that important 
 doctrine, and having diligently compared 
 them together, and meditated upon them, 
 and besought the Lord to fulfil the promise 
 to my soul, I wrote two sermons upon the 
 subject; one from Luke xi. 13. — "If ye then, 
 being evil, know how to give good gifts unto 
 your children, how much more shall your 
 heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them 
 that ask him." The other from James i. 16, 
 17. — "Do not err, my beloved brethren, 
 every good gift, and every perfect gift, is from 
 
80 THE FORCE OF TRUTH.* 
 
 above, and cometh down from the Father of 
 Lights." By this my views of a Christian's 
 privileges and duties in this respect, were 
 much enlarged, and my requests were made 
 known unto the Lord in a more full, exact, 
 and believing manner, than heretofore. — 
 Though much in the dark in many important 
 matters respecting the person, offices, and 
 work of the Holy Ghost ; yet I had discover- 
 ed more of what was promised concerning 
 him, and therefore knew better what to ask 
 for. 
 
 My obhgations to Bishop Beveridge are 
 next to be acknowledged. When I first be- 
 gan to peruse his sermons, I conceived a mean 
 opinion of him, and it was sometime before 
 I could prevail with myself to examine any 
 further into his writings; but being now fur- 
 ther advanced in my inquiry after truth, 
 those singularities which at first offended me 
 became tolerable, and I began to relish the 
 simplicity, spirituality, and love of Christ, 
 and affection for souls, which eminently shine 
 forth in many places of his works. Indeed I 
 received considerable instruction from him ; 
 but especially his sermon on the real satisfac- 
 tion made by the death of Christ for the sins 
 of believers, was the blessed means of clearing 
 up my views, and confirming my faith re- 
 specting that fundamental doctrine of Chris- 
 tianity. On Good Friday, 1777, I preached 
 a sermon upon that subject, from Isaiah liii. 
 6. "All we like sheep have gone astray; — 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 81 
 
 we have turned every one to his own way, 
 and the Lord hath laid, (hath caused to light,) 
 on him the iniquities of us all." Wherein I 
 endeavoured to prove that which hath ever 
 since been the sole foundation of all my 
 hopes; namely, that Christ indeed bore the 
 sins of all who should ever truly believe in all 
 their guilt, condennnation, and deserved pun- 
 ishment in his body on the tree. And I ex- 
 plicitly avowed my belief, that Christ, as our 
 surety and bondsman, stood in our law place, 
 to answer all our obligations, and to satisfy 
 divine justice, and the dem.ands of the law 
 for our offences: and I publicly renounced, 
 as erroneous and grievous perversions of 
 Scripture, all my former explanations and 
 interpretations of these subjects. 
 
 This was the first doctrine in which I was 
 clearly and fully brought to acknowledge the 
 truth, though I had with no little earnestness 
 for two years been inquiring about it; to so 
 astonishing a degree was my blinded under- 
 standing filled with prejudice against the doc- 
 trines of the word of God ! — Hitherto they 
 had been foolishness to me, but now, under 
 the divine teaching, I began, though very 
 dimly, to discern the wisdom of God in them. 
 
 I say dimly, for I was still under many and 
 great mistakes, and in much ignorance in the 
 most important matters. I knew sin to be a 
 transgression of God's law; but I did not see 
 its odious deformity, in being deliberate re- 
 bellion against God's sovereign authority, 
 
82 THE FORCE OF TRUTH: 
 
 and an express contradiction to his holy na- 
 ture : in charging God foolishly, as either 
 wanting wisdom or goodness in laying such 
 restraints upon the inclinations of his crea- 
 tures; and as tending to overturn all subor- 
 dination in the universe, and to introduce 
 anarchy, confusion, and misery, into the 
 whole creation of God. My own best ac- 
 tions I perceived to be defiled; but I under- 
 stood not that this was the effect of a deprav- 
 ed nature, and a polluted heart. The doc- 
 trine of original sin, as the fruitful root of 
 these multiplied evils, was not yet a part of 
 my creed. Inconsistently I was an Arian or 
 a Clarkist in my sentiments concerning the 
 person of Christ, and the divinity of the Holy 
 Ghost. Some faint conception I had formed 
 of that sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit 
 in the soul; the beginnings of it I little un- 
 derstood. And I continued to entertain an 
 implacable enmity to the doctrine of election, 
 and those connected with it. But my faith 
 was now fixed upon a crucified Saviour ; 
 (though I dishonoured his person and denied 
 his deity,) and I had a sincere desire of being 
 devoted to the Lord. He, therefore, in mercy 
 accepted his own work in my heart, and par- 
 doned all that was mine, and at length extri- 
 cated me out of that labyrinth of difficulties, 
 in which I was entangled. 
 
 About this time, in the course of my lec- 
 tures, our Lord's discourse with Nicodemus 
 came again under my consideration. Not- 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 83 
 
 withstanding much meditation and many 
 prayers, I could not satisfy my mind about 
 it. I was convinced some internal change 
 must be implied in the expressions, being 
 born from above, and being born of the Spi- 
 rit; and according to what I had experienced, 
 I endeavoured to explain it; but I was much 
 in the dark, and had many doubts whether I 
 was right or wrong. 
 
 Hitherto, excepting "Leland on the De- 
 istical Writers,'^ I had not read any book 
 written by a dissenter, with the least degree 
 of candour and attention; but at this crisis I 
 met with the first volume of Doctor Evan's 
 sermons, entitled, " The Christian Temper.'' 
 I was induced to read it by the recommenda- 
 tion of a friend ; but such was my proud, 
 foolish heart, that I opened it with great pre- 
 judice, because I understood the author was 
 a dissenter. However, this book came with 
 a blessing ; for by perusing it, I at length per- 
 ceived, that fallen man, both body and soul, 
 is indeed carnal, and sold under sin; that by 
 nature, in every man living, the reasonable 
 and immortal part is destitute of spirituality, 
 immersed in matter, and by a dishonourable 
 and miserable prostitution, is given up to 
 make provision for the flesh to fulfil the lust 
 thereof; and that man must be renewed in 
 the spirit of his mind, new created unto good 
 works, born of the Spirit of God, made par- 
 taker of a new and divine nature, before he 
 can possibly be made meet for, or admitted 
 
84 THE FORCE OF TRUTH : 
 
 into the kingdom of God. In a very little 
 time all my difficulties about this matter van- 
 ished, and the truth became so exceedingly 
 plain and evident, that until I had made the 
 experiment, I could scarcely be persuaded, 
 but that every person who heard it rightly 
 explained must assent to it. This doctrine I 
 have ever since invariably preached with 
 good effect, I trust, in opening the eyes of 
 sinners, and turning them from darkness unto 
 light, and from the power of Satan unto God. 
 (Acts xxvi. 28.) 
 
 About this time, my acquaintance with 
 
 Mr. was resumed. From the conclusion 
 
 of our correspondence in December, 1775, 
 till April, 1777, it had been almost wholly 
 dropped. To speak plainly, I did not care for 
 his company; I did not mean to make any use 
 of him as an instructer,and was unwilling the 
 world should think us any-wise connected. 
 
 But under discouraging circumstances I 
 had occasion to call upon him; and his dis- 
 course comforted and edified me, and my 
 heart being, by his means, relieved from its 
 burden, became susceptible of affection to 
 him. From that time I was inwardly pleased 
 to have him for my friend ; though not as 
 now, rejoiced to call him so. However, I had 
 no thoughts of learning doctrinal truth from 
 him, and was ashamed to be detected in his 
 company; but I sometimes stole away to 
 spend an hour with him. About the same 
 time I once heard him preach, but it was still 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 85 
 
 foolishness to me ; his sermon being much 
 upon the believer's experience : and, there- 
 fore, though I loved and valued him, I con- 
 sidered him as a person misled by enthusias- 
 tical notions, and strenuously insisted that 
 we should never think alike, till we met in 
 heaven. 
 
 All along, in the progress of this inquiry, I 
 grew more and more concerned about my 
 character; I saw myself continually verging 
 nearer and nearer to that scheme of doctrine 
 which the world called Methodism: nor could 
 I help it, without doing violence to my con- 
 victions. I had, indeed, set out with the 
 avowed, and, I trust, sincere resolution of 
 seeking for the truth, as impartially as possi- 
 ble; and of embracing it wherever I found 
 it, without respect to interest, reputation, or 
 any worldly consideration whatsoever: I had 
 taken patiently, and supported comfortably, 
 the loss of my opening prosepct of prefer- 
 ment, I trust mainly from the supports of 
 grace, and the consciousness of having acted 
 with integrity; but I am not sure, but there 
 might therewith creep in some consola- 
 tion to my deceitful heart, from a vain imagi- 
 nation that my character would be no loser. 
 Ambitious thirst after the praise of men was 
 much more my peculiar corruption, than 
 covetousness; and I had been in no ordinary 
 degree proud of my natural understanding ; 
 the people called Methodists, I had been 
 accustomed to hear mentioned with con- 
 
86 THE FORCE OF TRUTH I 
 
 tempt, as very silly, as fools, and sometimes 
 as madaien ; with no small degree of com- 
 placency, and self-preference, I too had de- 
 spised them, as weak enthusiasts. But I now 
 began to be apprehensive, that the tables 
 were about to be turned upon me; if I pro- 
 fessed and teached these doctrines, I must no 
 longer be considered as a man of sober un- 
 derstanding, but one of those persons, whose 
 heads being naturally weak, had been turned 
 by religious studies ; and who, having fallen 
 under the power of enthusiasm, are become 
 no better than fools. 
 
 This was the sharpest trial I passed through, 
 having not yet learned, that, "when we are 
 reproached for the name of Christ, happy are 
 we." Nor did I remember that the Apostles 
 were fools for Christ's sake; were deemed to 
 be beside themselves ; went through evil re- 
 port, and good report, as deceivers, and yet 
 true ; that they were every where spoken 
 against, as the fellows that turned the world 
 upside down ; were treated as vain babblers, 
 and accounted the filth of the world, and the 
 ofFscouring of all things. I did not consider 
 that Jesus himself, the brightness of the 
 Father's glory, the Word and Wisdom of 
 God, who went about doing good, and spake 
 as never man spake, was not only rejected, 
 but despised, as not worth hearing, as one 
 that had a devil, as in league with the devil, 
 as a blasphemer, a Samaritan, a madman, a 
 devil himself. I read indeed, but my under- 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 87 
 
 Standing was not yet opened to understand 
 such plain Scriptures as these, (John xv. 19, 
 20;) "If ye were of the world, the world 
 would love his own : but because ye are not 
 of the world, but I have chosen you out of 
 the world; therefore the world hateth you. 
 Remember the word that I said unto you : 
 the servant is not greater than the Lord; if 
 they have persecuted me, they will also per- 
 secute you." And Matt. x. 24, 2^ : " The 
 disciple is not above his master, nor the ser- 
 vant above his Lord. If they have called 
 the master of the house Beelzebub, how much 
 more shall they call them of the household?'' 
 And Matt. v. 11, 12: "Blessed are ye, when 
 men shall revile you, and persecute you, and 
 say all manner of evil against you falsely, for 
 my sake. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad, for 
 great is your reward in heaven; for so per- 
 secuted they the prophets, that were before 
 you." Not being aware of these conse- 
 quences, when my resolution was first form- 
 ed, I was as one who hath begun to build 
 without counting the cost, and was greatly 
 disturbed, when I saw the favourite idol of 
 my proud heart, my character, in such immi- 
 nent danger. 
 
 It must be supposed this would make me 
 cautious what doctrines I admitted into my 
 creed; and unwilling to be convinced, that 
 those things were true and miportant, the 
 profession of which was sure to bring infamy 
 on my character; and that even after the 
 
88 THE FORCE OF TRUTH: 
 
 fullest conviction, T should thereby be ren- 
 dered very careful in what manner I preach- 
 ed them. In general, however, though the 
 conflict was sharp, I was enabled to be faith- 
 ful. The words, "necessity is laid upon me, 
 yea, wo is me, if I preach not the gospel,'^ 
 were commonly upon my mind when I pen- 
 ned my sermons, and when I entered the 
 pulpit; and though when a bold declaration 
 of what I believed to be the truth, with an 
 offensive application of it to the consciences 
 of my hearers, drew opposition and calumny 
 upon me, I have secretly resolved to be more 
 circumspect the next time; yet, when that 
 time came, my heart and conscience being 
 both engaged, I have not dared to conceal 
 one tittle of what appeared to me to be true, 
 and to promise usefuhiess. But whilst with 
 perturbation of mind, and with many dis- 
 quieting apprehensions, I declared the mes- 
 sage with which I supposed myself to be 
 intrusted; to screen myself from the charge 
 of Methodism, and to soften the oflfence, I 
 was frequently throwing out slighting ex- 
 pressions, and bringing the charge of enthu- 
 siasm against those who preached such doc- 
 trines as I was not yet convinced of On 
 the other hand, my concern about my cha- 
 racter quickened me very much in prayer, 
 and increased my diligence in searching the 
 Scriptures, that I might be sure I was not, at 
 this expense, preaching cunningly devised 
 fables, instead of feeding the souls committed 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 89 
 
 to my care, with the unadulterated milk of 
 gospel truth. 
 
 In this state of my mind, which is easier 
 understood by experience than description, I 
 met whh Mr. Venn's Essay on the prophecy 
 of Zacharias. I was no stranger to the cha- 
 racter he bore in the eye of the world, and 
 did not begin to read his book with great 
 alacrity, or expectation; however, the im- 
 portance of the subjects therein treated of 
 engaged my attention, and some degree of 
 impartiality as I proceeded. I disapproved, 
 indeed, and quarrelled with many things; 
 but others evidenced their truth and impor- 
 tance to my understanding and conscience ; 
 especially, I found a word in season, respect- 
 ing my weak and wicked shame and atten- 
 tion to character, in inquiring after divine 
 truth, and in the performance of the impor- 
 tant duties of a gospel minister. These 
 solemn words in particular went home to 
 my heart: " If the spirit of the world, pride, 
 carelessness respecting the soul, and the ne- 
 glect of Christ, be not hateful to God, and 
 destructive to men, the gospel, (with reve- 
 rence I speak it,) is an imposition. Do you 
 abhor that thought as blasphemy ? Abhor as 
 much a fawning upon Christ from year to 
 year in your closet, calling him there your 
 Lord and your God: and then coming out, 
 to consult the world, how far they will allow 
 you to obey his plain commands, without 
 saying you are a Methodist ? Cease rather 
 8 
 
90 THE FORCE OF TRUTH I 
 
 to profess any allegiance to Christ than 
 treat him, under professions of duty, with 
 snch contempt. ''I would," saith he to the 
 Church of Laodicea, "thou wert cold or hot, 
 so then because thou art lukewarm, and 
 neither cold or hot, I will spew thee out of 
 my mouth." Rev. iii. 15, 16. 
 
 I should as easily be convinced that there 
 was no Holy Ghost, as that he was not pre- 
 sent with my soul when I read this passage, 
 and the whole of what Mr. Venn has writ- 
 ten upon the subject. It came to my heart 
 with such power, conviction, and demonstra- 
 tion of the Spirit, that it lifted me up above 
 the world, and produced that victory which 
 faith alone can give; and that liberty, which 
 uniformly attends the presence of the Spirit 
 of the Lord. I became at once ashamed of 
 my base ingratitude and foolish fears; and 
 was filled with such consolation, and rejoic- 
 ing even in the prospect of sacrificing my 
 character, and running the risk of infamy 
 and contempt, as made me entirely satisfied 
 on that head; and, some few unbelieving 
 seasons excepted, I have ever since been 
 very little troubled about being accounted 
 an enthusiast, or a Methodist. 
 
 But still I remained as much, and am now 
 more afraid of enthusiasm itself, than ever; 
 and the nearer I verged to what I had igno- 
 rantly supposed to be enthusiasm, the more 
 apprehensive I became, lest my earnestness 
 in such interesting inquiries, and the warmth 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 91 
 
 of my natural spirit, thus occasionally in- 
 creased, should put me off my guard, and 
 betray me into delusions and mistakes. — 
 From this danger I could obtain no security, 
 but by keeping close to the study of the 
 word of God; and by being earnest and 
 particular in praying to be preserved from 
 enthusiasm, and to be enabled to distinguish 
 between the pure revelations of the Holy 
 Spirit, and the inventions of men, or the de- 
 lusions of the spirit of lies. 
 
 The doctrine of a trinity of co-equal per- 
 sons in the Unity of the Godhead, had been 
 hitherto no part of my creed. I had long 
 been accustomed to despise this great mys- 
 tery of godliness. I had quarrelled with the 
 articles of the established church about this 
 doctrine: I had been very positive and open 
 in my declarations against it; and my un- 
 humbled reason still retained objections to 
 it. But about June, 1777, I began to be 
 troubled with doubts about it, and to suspect 
 the truth of Dr. Clarke's hypothesis. I had 
 just read Mr. Lindsey's Apology and Sequel. 
 Before I saw them, I had made a jest of 
 those who thought of confuting him on the 
 orthodox scheme, and was not without 
 thoughts of maintaining Dr. Clarke's system 
 against him. But when I understood that 
 he claimed Dr. Clarke as a Socinian, I was 
 surprised, and engaged in much anxious 
 consideration of the subject. The more I 
 studied, the more I was dissatisfied; many 
 
92 THE FORCE OF TRUTH: 
 
 things now first occurred to me, as strong 
 objections against my own sentiments upon 
 that head: and being perplexed, and unable 
 to make out a scheme for myself, I easily 
 perceived that I was not qualified to dispute 
 with another person. My pride and my con- 
 victions struggled hard for the victory; I was 
 very unwilling to become a Trinitarian in 
 the strict sense of the word, though in my 
 own sense I had for some time pretended to 
 be one; and yet the more I considered it, 
 the more I was dissatisfied with all other 
 
 systems. My esteem for Mr. , was also 
 
 now very much increased ; and though I had 
 hitherto concealed this part of my sentiments 
 from him, yet I knew his to be very differ- 
 ent; and though I was not willing to be 
 taught by him in other matters, yet in this 
 respect, finding his opinion the same which 
 in all former ages of the church hath been 
 accounted orthodox, while that which I held 
 had all along been branded as heretical, my 
 fears of a mistake were thereby exceedingly 
 mcreased. In this perplexity I applied to 
 the Lord and besought him to lead me to a 
 settled conclusion what was the truth. After 
 much meditation upon this subject, together 
 with a careful examination of all the Scrip- 
 tures which I then understood to relate there- 
 to, accompanied with a hearty prayer for 
 divine teaching, I was at length constrained 
 to renounce, as utterly indefensible, all my 
 former sentiments, and to accede to that doc- 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NAREATIVE. 
 
 93 
 
 trine which I had so long despised. I saw, 
 and could no longer avoid seeing, that the 
 offices and works attributed in Scripture to 
 the Son and Holy Ghost, are such as none 
 but the infinite God could perform; that it is 
 a contradiction to believe the real, and con- 
 sequently infinite satisfaction to divine jus- 
 tice made by the death of Christ, without 
 believing him to be very God of very God: 
 nor could the Holy Ghost give spiritual life 
 unto, and dwell in the hearts of unbelievers 
 at the same time to suit his work of convinc- 
 ing, enlightening, teaching, strengthening, 
 sanctifying and comforting to the several 
 cases of every individual, were he not the 
 omniscient, omnipresent, infinite God. And 
 being assured from reason, as well as from 
 Scripture, that there is not, and cannot be 
 more Gods than one, Iwas driven from my 
 reasonings, and constrained to submit my 
 natural understanding to divine revelation; 
 and allowing that the incomprehensible God 
 alone can fully know the unsearchable mys- 
 teries of his own divine nature, and manner 
 of his own existence to adopt the doctrine of 
 a Trinity in Unity, in order to preserve con- 
 sistency in my own scheme. But it was a 
 considerable time before I was disentangled 
 from my embarrassments on this subject. 
 
 Hitherto my prejudices against Mr. Her- 
 vey, as a writer upon doctrinal subjects, had 
 been very strong. I thought him a very 
 pious man,and I had read with pleasure some 
 
94 THE FORCE OF TRUTH : 
 
 parts of his meditations; but having consid- 
 ered him an enthusiast, I had no curiosity 
 to read any other of his writings. But about 
 July, 1777, 1 providentially met with his dia- 
 logues and letters between Theron and As- 
 pasio, and opening the book, I was much 
 pleased with the first passage on which I cast 
 my eye. This engaged me to read the whole 
 with uncommon attention: nor did I, in 
 twice perusing it, ever meet with any thing 
 contrary to my own sentiments, without im- 
 mediately beseeching the Lord to guide me 
 to the truth. I trust the Lord heard and an- 
 swered these my prayers: for though I could 
 not but dissent from him, (as I still do,) in 
 some few things, yet I was very much en- 
 lightened thereby, in every thing relative to 
 our fallen, guilty, lost and helplessly misera- 
 ble state by nature; and the way and man- 
 ner in which the believer is accounted and 
 accepted as righteous in the presence of a 
 just, holy, and heart-searching, a faithful, and 
 unchangeable God; especially his animated 
 description and application of the stag-chase, 
 cleared up this important matter to my mind, 
 more than any thing I had hitherto met with 
 upon the subject. 
 
 I had now acceded to most of the doctrines 
 which at present I believe and preach; ex- 
 cept the doctrine of personal election, and 
 those which depend on, and are connected 
 with it. These were still foolishness to me, 
 and so late as August, 1777, I told my friend 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 95 
 
 Mr. , that I was sure I never should be 
 
 of his sentiments on that head; to which he 
 answered that if I never mentioned this sub- 
 ject, he never should, as we were now agreed 
 in all he judged absolutely needful; but he 
 had not the least doubt of my very shortly 
 becoming a Calvinist, as I should presently 
 discover my system of doctrine to be other- 
 wise incomplete and inconsistent with itself. 
 And, indeed, by this time I had so repeat- 
 edly discovered myself to be mistaken where 
 I had been very confident, that I began to 
 suspect myself in every thing wherein I en- 
 tertained sentiments different from those with 
 whom I conversed. This did not influence 
 me to take their opinions upon trust; but it 
 disposed me more particularly and atten- 
 tively to consider them; and in every per- 
 plexity to have recourse to the Lord, to be 
 preserved from error, and guided to the 
 truth. 
 
 About the same time also, I began to have 
 more frequent applications made to me by 
 persons under deep concern for their souls. 
 My heart was much engaged in this new 
 employment; I was much troubled to see 
 their pressing anxieties, and to hear their 
 doubts, difllculties, and objections against 
 themselves. Being sincerely desirous to in- 
 struct them right, and to lead them on to 
 establishment and comfort, I felt my defi- 
 ciency, and seemed to have no ground to go 
 on, nor any counsel to give them, but what 
 
96 THE FORCE OF TRUTH : 
 
 led them into greater perplexity, instead of 
 relieving them. In this case I earnestly be- 
 sought the Lord to instruct me what word in 
 season to speak unto them. 
 
 Thus circumstanced, I read " Witsius^ 
 Economy of the Covenants," and observed 
 what use he made of the doctrine of election 
 for this very purpose. This convinced me 
 that the doctrine, if true, would afford that 
 ground of comfort which my people wanted. 
 It would evince that their being awakened 
 out of a careless state, to an earnest concern 
 for, and anxiety about their souls, and to an 
 hearty desire of cleaving unto the Lord; and 
 their want of some security that they should 
 not, through the deceitfulness of their own 
 hearts, their own weakness, the entangle- 
 ments of the world, and the temptations of 
 Satan, fall back again into their former course 
 of sin, was the work of the Holy Ghost. If 
 this were wrought in consequence of the de- 
 terminate purpose and foreknowledge of God 
 respecting them, it would follow from the 
 entire and undeserved freeness of this first 
 gift, bestowed on them, when neither desiring 
 nor seeking it, but being in a state of enmity 
 and rebellion against, and neglect of God, and 
 from his unchangeableness in his purposes, 
 and faithfulness to his promises, that he would 
 assuredly carry on, and complete this good 
 work of his grace, and keep the believing 
 soul as in a castle, through faith unto salva- 
 tion. 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 97 
 
 Having now considered one use of this 
 doctrine, which before I objected to as use- 
 less and pernicious, I began to consider how 
 the other objections which I had been accus- 
 tomed to urge against it might be answered. 
 'Tis true that I began to consider this whole 
 matter as a mystery not to be comprehended, 
 nor yet too curiously searched into by man's 
 natural reason, but humbly received by faith, 
 just as far as it is plainly revealed in God's 
 unerring word. Many objections, therefore, 
 I was constrained to leave unanswered, re- 
 solving them into the incomprehensible na- 
 ture of God, whose judgments, and still more 
 his counsels, are, as the great deep, unfath- 
 omable ; and into the sovereignty of God, who 
 does what he will with his own, and gives no 
 account of any of his matters, let who will 
 presume to find fault : and into his declara- 
 tions, that his thoughts and ways are as far 
 above our thoughts and ways, as the heavens 
 are above the earth. Here I left this matter, 
 conscious at length, that such knowledge 
 was too high for me, and that if God had 
 said it, it was not my place to cavil against 
 it. I acknowledge this way of answering ob- 
 jections is not very satisfactory to man's 
 proud curiosity, who would be as God, and 
 know all that God knows, and even dares to 
 dispute with him; and there are sometimes 
 when I can hardly acquiesce in such a solu- 
 tion: but surely it is highly becoming the 
 dependent stale, and limited understand''^ ' 
 9 
 
 \ 
 
98 THE FORCE OF TRUTH : 
 
 of the creature, to submit the decision of all 
 such high points imphcitly to the award of 
 the infinitely wise Creator. And the Christian 
 religion expressly requires it of us, for our 
 Lord declares, that " Except we receive the 
 kingdom of God," (not as a disputing philo- 
 sopher, but) "as a little child, we shall in no- 
 wise enter therein." The day is coming, 
 when we shall be able to answer all objec- 
 tions. Here we are to walk by faith, and see 
 in part, and as through a glass darkly; here- 
 after we shall see face to face, and know 
 even as we are known. 
 
 Leaving, therefore, all difficulties of a met- 
 aphysical nature to be cleared up in that 
 world of light and knowledge, I began to 
 consider the abuses of this doctrine, which I 
 had always looked upon as being a very for- 
 midable objection against it. But I soon dis- 
 covered, that though ungodly men, who 
 make profession of religion, will turn the 
 grace of God into licentiousness; yet that we 
 might so explain and guard these doctrines, 
 that none could thus abuse them, without be- 
 ing conscious that they did so, and detecting 
 their own hypocrisy. It still, indeed, appear- 
 ed probable to me, that the preaching of them 
 might occasion some trouble of mind at first 
 to a few well disposed persons; but I consid- 
 ered that by a cautious declaration of them, 
 and contrasting them with the general pro- 
 mises of the Gospel to all who believe, this 
 might in a great measure be prevented; and 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 99 
 
 at the worst, a little personal conversation 
 with such persons, would seldom, if ever, 
 fail to satisfy their minds, and even enable 
 them in general to derive encouragement 
 from them; while the unsettling of the minds 
 of such persons, as are carelessly living in an 
 unconverted state, is the great end of all our 
 preaching to them; and therefore we need 
 not fear any bad effect of this doctrine in 
 that respect. The great question therefore 
 was, "are these doctrines in the Bible, or 
 no?" Hitherto I had wilfully passed over, 
 and neglected, or endeavoured to put some 
 other construction upon all those Scriptures 
 which directly speak of them: but now I 
 began to consider, meditate, and pray over 
 them ; and I soon found that I could not 
 support my former interpretation of them. 
 They would teach predestination, election, 
 final perseverance and assurance, in spite of 
 all my twisting and expounding. It also 
 occurred to me that though now in disgrace, 
 they were universally believed and main- 
 tained by our venerable reformers; that they 
 were admitted, at the beginning of the Refor- 
 mation, into the creeds, catechisms, or arti- 
 cles of every one of the Protestant churclies; 
 that our articles and homilies expressly main- 
 tained them : and consequently, that a vast 
 number of wise and sober-minded men, who, 
 in their days, were burning and shining 
 lights, upon mature deliberation, had agreed, 
 not only that they were true, but that they 
 
100 THE FORCE OF TRUTH : 
 
 ought to be admitted as useful, or even as 
 necessary articles of faith by every one, who 
 deemed himself called to take upon him the 
 office of a Christian minister. 
 
 In the course of this inquiry, I perceived 
 that my system of doctrine was incomplete 
 without them. I believed that men, by na- 
 ture born in sin, and the children of wrath, 
 by wicked works the enemies of God, being 
 in themselves ungodly, and without strength, 
 were saved of free mercy and grace, without 
 having done any thing, more or less, to de- 
 serve it, through the Redeemer's righteous- 
 ness and atonement, received by faith, the 
 gift, and operation of God; and accompanied 
 with a new birth of the Spirit, a new creation 
 unto good works, and to the divine image, 
 by the power of the Holy Ghost: and now, 
 therefore, it occurred to me, to inquire from 
 what source these precious blessings, thus 
 freely flowing through the channel of re- 
 demption to poor worthless sinners, could 
 originally spring? In this inquiry, my mind 
 being carried back from the consideration of 
 the effectSjto theconsiderationof their causes; 
 and from the promises made to fallen man, 
 to the counsels and purposes of God, which 
 induced him to give those promises; and me- 
 ditating on the divine perfections, his omnis- 
 cience, unchangeableness, and eternity, and 
 the end which the all-sufficient God had in 
 view, in all his works, even the manifestation 
 of the glory of his own perfections; I at 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 101 
 
 length perceived, that this great work of re- 
 demption, as planned by God, to whom were 
 known all his works from before the foun- 
 dation of the world, must be the result of his 
 eternal purpose, of displaying the glory of 
 his mercy and grace in harmonious consist- 
 ency with his most awful justice, and glo- 
 rious holiness; and thereby manifesting the 
 inexhaustible resources of his manifold wis- 
 dom, in thus reconciling, and at one time, 
 and in one work, unitedly glorifying these 
 his attributes, which, considered as perfect, 
 seem, to created understanding irreconcila- 
 ble to each other. Especially, I was con- 
 vinced of this, when I discovered, that until 
 the fall of man made way for, and the re- 
 demption had manifested the attribute of 
 mercy to sinners, it had, as far as we can 
 learn, been unexercised, and undisplayed, 
 and consequently unknown to any but God 
 himself from all eternity; nor could he have 
 the glory of it, but must have been considered 
 as so perfect in justice and holiness, as to be 
 incapable of exercising mercy, had he not 
 chosen some objects on whom to exercise it, 
 and devised some way wherein to exercise 
 it, in consistency with his other perfections. 
 Thus I perceived redemption to be the effect 
 of a settled design formed in God's eternal 
 councils, of manifesting himself to his rea- 
 sonable creatures to be complete, and full 
 orbed in all conceivable perfections; that the 
 merciful and gracious nature of God, the 
 
102 THE FORCE OF TRUTH : 
 
 fountain of goodness, alone moved him to 
 choose any transgressors of his law, as ob- 
 jects of his favourable regard; that his un- 
 constrained will and pleasure are the only- 
 assignable causes of his choosing one, rather 
 than another; that the objections are as 
 strong against this being understood of na- 
 tions, or collective bodies, as of individuals: 
 that the whole work being his own; his wis- 
 dom having devised the means, his love and 
 all-sufRciency having, in the person, offices, 
 and work of Christ, made all things ready; 
 his providence directing absolutely to whom 
 the word of invitation should be sent; and 
 his holy Spirit alone inclining, and enabling 
 the soul to embrace it by faith: therefore, 
 that God, who knoweth the end from the 
 beginning, and is a sovereign, and when none 
 have deserved any thing, may do as he will 
 with his own, did actually "choose every 
 individual believer in Christ, before the foun- 
 dation of the world, that we should be holy 
 and without blame before him in love ; hav- 
 ing predestinated us unto the adoption of 
 children by Jesus Christ to himself, according 
 to the good pleasure of his will; to the praise 
 of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made 
 us accepted in the beloved." (Eph. i. 4 — 6.) 
 In short, though my objections were many, 
 my anxiety great, and my resistance long, 
 yet by the evidence which, both from the 
 word of God, and from my own meditation, 
 crowded upon my mind, I was at length con- 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 103 
 
 Strained to submit, and God knoweth, with 
 fear and trembling, to allow these formerly- 
 despised doctrines a place in my creed : and 
 accordingly, about Christmas, 1777, I began 
 cautiously to establish the truth of them, and 
 to make use of them for the consolation of 
 poor, distressed, and fearful believers. This 
 was the only use I then knew of them, though 
 I now see their influence in every part of 
 Gospel truth. 
 
 However, I would observe, that though I 
 assuredly believe these doctrines, as far as 
 here expressed; (for I am not willing to trace 
 them any higher by reasonings or conse- 
 quences into the unrevealed things of God,) 
 and though I exceedingly need them in my 
 view of religion, both for my own consola- 
 tion and security against the consequences of 
 my own deceitful heart, an ensnaring world, 
 and a subtle tempter ; as also for the due ex- 
 ercise of my pastoral office; yet I would not 
 be understood to place the acknowledgment 
 of them upon a level with a belief of the doc- 
 trines, that have before been spoken of. I 
 can readily conceive the character of an hum- 
 ble, pious, spiritual Christian, who either is 
 an utter stranger to these Calvinistical doc- 
 trines, or through misapprehension, or fear 
 of abuse, cannot receive them. But I own 
 that I find a difficulty in conceiving an hum- 
 ble, pious, spiritual Christian, who is a stran- 
 ger to his own utterly lost condition, to the 
 deceitfulness and depravity of his heart, to 
 
 »jf„„i 
 
104 THE FORCE OF TRUTH : 
 
 the natural alienation of his affections from 
 God, and to the defilements of his best duties; 
 who trusts either in whole or in part, allow- 
 edly, to any thing for pardon and justifica- 
 tion, but the blood and righteousness of a 
 crucified Saviour, who is God manifested in 
 the flesh; or who expects to be made meet 
 for the inheritance of the saints in light, in 
 any other way, than by being born again, 
 new created, converted, and sanctified by the 
 divine power of the Holy Ghost. 
 
 Sometime in November, 1777, I was by a 
 then unknown friend, furnished with a con- 
 siderable number of books, written in general 
 by the old divines both of the church of Eng- 
 land, and of the Dissenters. And to my no 
 small surprise, I found, that those doctrines, 
 which are now deemed novel inventions, and 
 are called Methodistical, are in these books 
 every where discoursed of as known and al- 
 lowed truths; and that that system, which, 
 despising to be taught by men, and unac- 
 quainted with such authors, I had for near 
 three years together been hammering out of 
 myself with no small labour and anxiety, was 
 to be found ready made to my hands, in every 
 book I opened. 
 
 I make no wonder, that the members of 
 the church of England are generally preju- 
 diced against the writing of Dissenters; for I 
 have been so myself to an excess; we imbibe 
 this prejudice with the first rudiments of in- 
 struction, and are taught by our whole edu- 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 105 
 
 cation to consider it as meritorious; — though 
 no doubt it is a prejudice, of which every sin- 
 cere inquirer after truth ought to be afraid, 
 and every pretended inquirer ashamed; for 
 how can we determine on which side truth 
 lies, if we will not examine both sides ? And 
 indeed it is well known to all those, who are 
 acquainted with the church histories of those 
 times, that until the reign of James the First 
 there were no controversies between the 
 church established, and the Puritans, con- 
 cerning doctrine; both parties being in all 
 matters of importance of the same senti- 
 ments; they only contended about discipline 
 and ceremonies, until the introduction of Ar- 
 minianism gave occasion to the Calvinists 
 being denominated Doctrinal Puritans. Unto 
 this period all our church writers were Cal- 
 vinistical in doctrine, and even after that 
 time, many might be mentioned who were 
 allowed friends of the church of England, 
 who opposed these innovations, and agreed 
 in doctrine with every thing that hath been 
 mentioned. Let it suffice, out of many, to 
 recommend Bishop Hall's works, especially 
 his " Contemplations on the Life of Jesus," a 
 book not easily too highly prized: and Dr. 
 Reynolds' works. To these, no true friend 
 to the church of England can reasonably ob- 
 ject. And in general I believe, and teach 
 nothing, but what they plainly taught before 
 me, as I could easily prove, but that I have 
 been too tedious already. 
 
106 THE FORCE OF TEUTH : 
 
 I had now got the outUnes of my scheme 
 of doctrine marked out; but I had been so 
 taken up with these doctrinal inquiries, that 
 hitherto I was very much a stranger to the 
 workings of my own heart, and had Httle ex- 
 perience in my own soul, of the power of 
 these truths. The pride of reasoning, and 
 the conceit of my superior discernment, had 
 all along accompanied me; and though some- 
 what broken, had yet considerable influence. 
 Hitherto, therefore, I had not thought of 
 hearing any person preach, because I did not 
 know that any person in the circle of my ac- 
 quaintance, was capable of informing me in 
 any thing deserving attention, of which I was 
 ignorant. But at length perceiving, that in 
 
 the whole matter Mr. had been right 
 
 and that I had been mistaken, it occurred to 
 me, that having preached these doctrines so 
 long, he must understand many things con- 
 cerning them, to which I was a stranger, — 
 now, therefore, though not without much 
 remaining prejudice, and not less in the cha- 
 racter of a judge than of a scholar, I conde- 
 scended to be his hearer, and occasionally to 
 attend his preaching, and that of some other 
 ministers. I soon perceived the benefit of 
 this; for, from time to time, I found the secrets 
 of my heart discovered to me, far beyond 
 what I had hitherto noticed myself; and sel- 
 dom returned from hearing a sermon, with- 
 out having conceived a meaner opinion of my- 
 self; without having attained to a further 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 107 
 
 acquaintance with my deficiencies, my weak- 
 ness, my corruptions, and wants; and with- 
 out being suppHed with fresh matter for 
 prayer, and directed to greater watchfulness. 
 Moreover I learned the use of experience in 
 preaching, and was convinced that the ready 
 way to come at other people's hearts and 
 consciences, was to speak from my own. — 
 In short, I gradually saw more and more of 
 my need of instruction, and was brought to 
 consider myself as a very novice in religious 
 matters. I began experimentally to perceive 
 our Lord's meaning, when he says, "Except 
 ye receive the kingdom of heaven as a little 
 child, ye shall in no wise enter therein." — 
 For though my proud heart is continually 
 rebelling, and would fain build up again the 
 former Babel of self-conceit: yet I trust from 
 this time, in my settled judgment, I have de- 
 sired, and prayed to be enabled, to consider 
 myself as a little child, who ought simply to 
 sit at the master's feet, to hear his words 
 with profound submission, and wait his 
 teaching with earnest desire and patient at- 
 tention. And from this time I have been en- 
 abled to consider those persons, whose know- 
 ledge has been ripened by years, experience, 
 and observation, as fathers and instructers, 
 to take pleasure in their company, value 
 their counsels, and love to attend their 
 preaching. 
 
 Thus I trust the old building, that I had 
 
108 THE FORCE OF TRUTH: 
 
 purposed to repair, was pulled down to the 
 ground, and the foundation of the new build- 
 ing of God laid aright ; old things were passed 
 away, behold all things were become new. 
 What things were gain to me, those I have 
 counted loss for Christ; my boasted reason I 
 discover to be a blind guide, until humbled, 
 enhghtened, and sanctified by the Spirit of 
 God; my former wisdom I now know to 
 have been foolishness, and that when I 
 thought I knew much, I knew nothing as I 
 ought to know. Since this period, every 
 thing I have experienced in my own heart, 
 every thing I have heard and read, every 
 thing 1 observe around me, confirms and es- 
 tablishes me in the assured belief of those 
 truths, which I have received; nor do I in 
 general any more doubt their being from God, 
 than I doubt whether the sun shines when I 
 see its light, and am warmed whh its refresh- 
 ing beams. I see the powerful effects of 
 them continually among those to whom I 
 preach: experience the power of them daily 
 in my own soul; and while by meditating 
 on, and rejoicing in the cross of Christ, I find 
 the world crucified unto me, and I unto the 
 world; by preaching Jesus Christ, and him 
 crucified, I see notoriously immoral persons 
 influenced to deny ungodliness and worldly 
 lusts, and to live soberly, righteously, and 
 godly in this present world, being an exam- 
 ple to such as before they were a scandal to. 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 109 
 
 And now by this change, the consequences 
 of which I so much dreaded, what have I 
 lost even in respect of this present world? 
 Indeed, I have lost some degree of favour, 
 and escape not pity, censure, scorn, and op- 
 position; but the Lord is introducing me to a 
 new, and far more desirable acquaintance; 
 even to that of those, whom the Holy Ghost 
 hath denominated the excellent of the earth; 
 nay, the Lord the Spirit condescends to be 
 my comforter. In general I enjoy an esta- 
 blished peace of conscience through the blood 
 of sprinkling, and continual application to the 
 heavenly Advocate, with a sweet content, 
 and that peace of God which passeth all un- 
 derstanding, in casting all my cares upon him, 
 who careth for me. And I am not utterly 
 left without experience of that joy, which is 
 unspeakable and full of glory. These the 
 world could not give me, were I in favour 
 with it; of these it cannot deprive me by its 
 frowns. My desire henceforth, God knoweth, 
 is to live to his glory, and by my whole con- 
 duct and conversation to adorn the doctrine 
 of God my Saviour, and to show forth his 
 praise, who hath called me out of darkness 
 into his marvellous light; to be in some way 
 or other useful to his believing people; and 
 to invite poor sinners, who are walking in a 
 vain shadow, and disquieting themselves in 
 vain, to taste and see how gracious the Lord 
 is, and how blessed they are who put their 
 trust in him. 
 
110 THE FORCE OF TRUTH: 
 
 Now would I tell to sinners round, 
 What a dear Saviour I have found ; 
 Would point to his redeeming blood, 
 And cry, behold the way to God! 
 
 Thus hath the Lord led me, a poor, bUnd 
 sinner, in a way that I knew not; he hath 
 made darkness hght before me, crooked 
 things straight, and hard things easy, and 
 hath brought me to a place, of which I little 
 thought when I set out; and having done 
 these things for me, I believe, yea, I am un- 
 doubtedly sure, he will never leave me nor 
 forsake me. To him be the glory of his un- 
 deserved, long resisted grace; to me be the 
 shame, not only of all my other sins, but also 
 of my proud and perverse opposition to his 
 purposes of love toward me. But all this 
 was permitted, that my high spirit and stout 
 heart being at length humbled and subdued, 
 I might remember, and be confounded, and 
 never open my mouth more, because of my 
 shame, now that the Lord is pacified to me 
 for all that I have done. 
 
 And now, as in the presence of the heart- 
 searching God, 1 have given without one 
 wilful misrepresentation, addition, or mate- 
 rial omission, a history of the great things 
 God hath done for my soul ; or if that suit not 
 your view of it, a history of that change 
 which hath recently taken place in my reli- 
 gious sentiments and conduct, to the surprise 
 of some, and perhaps displeasure of others of 
 my former friends. The doctrines which I 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. Ill 
 
 have now received, are indeed charged with 
 being destructive of moral practice, and tend- 
 ing to licentiousness; but though I know that 
 my best righteousnesses are as filthy rags, yet 
 I trust I may return thanks to God, that by 
 his grace he hath so upheld me, since this 
 change took place, that I have not been per- 
 mitted to disgrace the cause in which I have 
 embarked, by any immoral conduct ; my re- 
 joicing, in this respect, is this, that in simpli- 
 city and godly sincerity, not with fleshly 
 wisdom, but by the grace of God, I have my 
 conversation in the world. And sincerely I 
 may avow, that the belief of these doctrines, 
 hath a quite contrary effect upon me. I most 
 heartily desire, aim, endeavour, and pray to 
 be enabled to love God and keep his com- 
 mandments, without partiality and without 
 hypocrisy, and so to demean myself, as by- 
 well doing to put to silence the ignorance of 
 foolish men. That I fall so very far short in 
 every thing is not the effect of my new doc- 
 trines, but of my old depraved nature, and 
 deceitful heart. Create in m.e a clean heart, 
 God, and renew a right spirit within me! 
 
112 THE FORCE OF TRUTH; 
 
 PART III. 
 
 Containing observations on the foregoing narrative. 
 
 My design in writing this account of my- 
 self, and my religious inquiries, and change 
 of sentiments, was as follows: I considered 
 myself a singular instance of a very unlikely 
 person, in an uncommon manner, being led 
 on from one thing to another to embrace a 
 system of doctrine which he once heartily 
 despised. And as I do assuredly believe that 
 this change hath been effected under the 
 guidance and teaching of the Holy Ghost; so 
 I verily hoped that a circumstantial relation 
 of it might be an encouragement and com- 
 fort to those who know and love the Lord, 
 and from them levy a tribute of gratitude and 
 praise, to our gracious, wonder-working God : 
 and that it also might be instrumental, by the 
 convincing Spirit, to awaken others to a se- 
 rious review of their religious sentiments; to 
 put them upon the same earnest inquiry after 
 the truth, as it is in Jesus; and to influence 
 them to the diligent use of the same blessed 
 means, in which the Lord directed me to be 
 found. In order to forward this effect, I 
 would offer a few observations upon what 
 has been related, to the attentive and impar- 
 tial consideration of the reader; and may the 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 113 
 
 Lord guide both the writer and reader of 
 these sheets to the saving knowledge of him- 
 self, and of the ways of truth and peace! 
 
 INow, I. I think it nrjust be evident to 
 every unprejudiced reader of this narrative, 
 that at the time this change commenced, I 
 was, humanly speaking, a most unlikely per- 
 son to embrace this system of doctrine. — 
 This will appear from the following con- 
 siderations: 
 
 1. By reason of my religious opinions at 
 that time, which had been for many years 
 directly contrary thereto. Being always of 
 a reflecting turn, I had exceeding high no- 
 tions of the powers of human reason, and a 
 very favourable opinion of my own under- 
 standing: and I had, upon reasoning princi- 
 ples, embraced a system of religion, which, 
 while it soothed my conscience, flattered this 
 self-conceit. After some trivial alterations, 
 I seemed to myself, upon mature delibera- 
 tion, to have come to a settled determination, 
 and had bestowed considerable pains in mak- 
 ing myself acquainted with those arguments 
 and interpretations of Scripture wherewith 
 that system is usually defended; and I had 
 raked together many of those plausible ob- 
 jections, and high charges, which are, by 
 reasoning men, brought against the doctrines, 
 and persons of the Calvinists. But on the 
 other hand, I was, in a great measure, a 
 stranger to what the Calvinists could say for 
 themselves, because I thought the matter too 
 10 
 
114 THE FORCE OF TRUTH: 
 
 plain to bear an argument, and therefore did 
 not think their answers worth reading. In 
 short, I was fallen so very low, that very- 
 few have ever been recovered from that 
 abyss of error, into which I had been per- 
 mitted to sink. Full of confidence in my 
 cause, and in the arguments with which I 
 was preparing myself, and with the most 
 sanguine expectation of success, I was eager 
 to engage in controversy with the Calvinists. 
 In this confidence I frequently harangued 
 against them from the pulpit, and spared not 
 to charge upon them consequences both ab- 
 surd and shocking. And yet, at length, after 
 much, very much, anxious, diligent inquiry, 
 I have embraced, as the sacred truths of 
 God's unerring word, every doctrine of this 
 despised system. 
 
 2. From my natural spirit and temper, I 
 was a most unlikely person thus to change. 
 Few persons were ever more self-sufficient 
 and positive in their opinions, than I was. — 
 Fond to excess of entering into argument, I 
 never failed on these occasions to betray this 
 peculiarity of my character. I seldom ac- 
 knowledged or suspected myself mistaken; 
 and scarce ever dropped any argument, until 
 either my reasonings, or obstinacy, had si- 
 lenced my opponent. A certain person once 
 said of me, that I was like a stone rolling 
 down the hill, which could neither be stopped 
 nor turned; this witness was true; but those 
 things which are impossible with man, are 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 115 
 
 easy with God: I am evidently both stopped, 
 and turned; man, I am persuaded, could not 
 have done it; but this hath God wrought — 
 and I am not more a wonder to others than 
 to myself. Indeed, I carried the same obsti- 
 nate, positive temper into my religious inqui- 
 ries: for I never gave up one tittle of my 
 sentiments, till I could defend them no longer, 
 nor even submitted to conviction, till I could 
 make no longer resistance. The strong man 
 armed with my natural pride, and obstinacy; 
 and having with my vain imaginations, and 
 reasonings, and high thoughts, built himself 
 many strong holds, kept his castle in my 
 heart: and thus garrisoned, when the stronger 
 than he came against him, he stood a long 
 siege; till, being by superior force driven 
 from one to another, and all his armour 
 wherein he trusted being at length taken 
 from him, he was constrained to recede. — 
 And the Lord having made me wiUing in the 
 day of his power, I was forced to confess; 
 " Lord, thou art stronger than I, and hast 
 prevailed." 
 
 3. My situation in life rendered such a 
 change improbable. I had an increasing 
 family, no private fortune, a narrow, preca- 
 rious income, and no expectations, except 
 from such friends as my conduct might pro- 
 cure, or continue to me. I had unexpectedly 
 contracted an acquaintance with some of 
 those whose favour goes a great way toward 
 a man's advancement in life; nor was I in- 
 
116 THE FORCE OP TRUTH: 
 
 sensible to the advantages to be hoped for, 
 from cultivating, by a compliant behaviour, 
 their kind and friendly regard to me; at the 
 same time I was no stranger to the opinion, 
 which the world entertains of those who 
 preach these disreputable doctrines; and 
 could not but conclude, that embracing this 
 system of religion was a probable way of 
 depriving myself of this prospect of prefer- 
 ment. Had I not, therefore, as the result of 
 my diligent inquiries, been assuredly con- 
 vinced that it was my indispensable duty to 
 embrace, and preach them, and that by so 
 doing alone, I could ensure to myself the fa- 
 vour of a better friend than any here below; 
 I should have been destitute even of common 
 sense, to have had any thing to do with them. 
 And yet being aware all along, how unfa- 
 vourable, according to human probability^ 
 it will prove, to my worldly interests, at 
 length I have deliberately embraced them. 
 
 4. Nor was my regard to my character a 
 trifling security against such a change of sen- 
 timent. I was ambitiously and excessively 
 fond of that honour which cometh from man ; 
 and considered the desire of praise as allow- 
 able, nay laudable. By this motive was I 
 urged on to a very diligent prosecution of 
 my studies, even beyond what my natural 
 inclination led me to ; and my whole conduct 
 was influenced by, my whole conversation 
 tinctured with, this vainglorious aim. On the 
 other hand, with approbation and self-corn- 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 117 
 
 placency, I had been accustomed to hear the 
 most contemptuous and opprobrious epithets 
 liberally added to the names of those persons 
 to whom I have now joined myself; and all 
 along, as I verged nearer and nearer to Me- 
 thodism, I was painfully sensible, that I was 
 drawing upon myself the same mortifying 
 distinctions. I have been a vainglorious can- 
 didate for human applause; but I renounce 
 such pretensions, and willingly submit to be 
 considered by the world, under the mortify- 
 ing character of a silly, half-witted, crack- 
 brained enthusiast. These epithets, I am 
 sensible, are now bestowed upon me, behind 
 my back, and very often to my face; I bless 
 God this doth not move me, but I can hearti- 
 ly thank him that I am counted worthy to 
 suffer shame for his sake. But when I saw 
 this trial approaching, it appeared very for- 
 midable; and I can truly affirm, that nothing 
 but the fullest conviction, that the cause in 
 which I was embarking was the cause of 
 God; nothing, but not daring to act contrary 
 to the plain dictates of my conscience, could 
 have influenced me to make this sacrifice of 
 my character, and bring myself under so 
 much contempt and scorn. 
 
 But, 5. To reason with our despisers, upon 
 their own principles; upon supposition that I 
 am now fallen into enthusiasm, mistake, and 
 strong delusion, I certainly was, when I first 
 set out in this inquiry, a very unlikely person 
 so to do. My leading resolve was to search 
 
118 THE FORCE OF TRUTH : 
 
 for the truth dihgently, and to embrace it 
 wherever I found it, whatever it might cost; 
 no sooner had I begun this inquiry, than I 
 was called upon to give proof of the sincerity 
 of this resolution; and, from a principle of 
 conscience, though a mistaken one, I re- 
 nounced my only prospect of preferment; and 
 it would be unreasonable to question my 
 sincerity, after it had been thus evidenced. 
 Since that time I have also deliberately sacri- 
 ficed my character, and hazarded the loss of 
 all my former friends. Giving these proofs 
 of my integrity, I set off in dependence on 
 those plain promises, which I have mention- 
 ed; I have sought for this desired knowledge 
 of the truth mainly in reading the Holy Scrip- 
 tures, and by prayer for the promised teach- 
 ing of the Holy Ghost, after that manner 
 which had been related; and am now led to 
 conclusions diametrically opposite to what 
 I expected. Now, lay all these things 
 together, attentively consider them, and then 
 let your own conscience determine how far 
 it is probable, that a person, in this manner 
 seeking for the truth, should be given over to 
 a strong delusion to believe a pernicious lie. 
 "Would any of you that is a father, if his 
 son asked bread, give him a stone; or if 
 he asked a fish, give him a serpent ? If ye, 
 then, being evil, know how to give good gifts 
 unto your children, how much more shall 
 our Heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to 
 them that ask him ?" Can any man suppose, 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 119 
 
 that after such repeated and continued plead- 
 ings of the express promises of the Lord to 
 this effect, in earnest prayer, according to his 
 appointment, I should be likely to be deliver- 
 ed up to the teaching of the father of lies? 
 Can any one make this conclusion without 
 insinuating that God hath broken his pro- 
 mises, which is shocking to think of? In 
 short, you may make a jest of these things ; 
 you may throw by the book without giv- 
 ing any attention to an argument of this 
 kind; or you may say, what you never 
 can prove, that it is all a contrived story; 
 or you may argue, that these promises, 
 though contained in the Bible, are not to be 
 depended on by us: which is to give up the 
 Scriptures to be scoffed at by infidels and 
 atheists, and to render them useless to the 
 humble, anxious inquirer after truth and sal- 
 vation; but by no other means, I am assured, 
 can you account for this single circumstance, 
 without allowing, that the substance of those 
 doctrines that I have now embraced, is in- 
 deed contained in the word of God; that they 
 comprise the truth as it is in Jesus, and are 
 not corrupted with any such delusion, as can 
 hazard the salvation of my soul, or the souls 
 of those who, by my ministry, receive them. 
 On this supposition all difficulties vanish. 
 The Lord had given me a sincere desire, to 
 know the saving doctrine of the Gospel; and 
 though I was exceedingly ignorant, obstinate, 
 and prejudiced; yet this desire, having by his 
 
120 THE FORCE OF TRUTH: 
 
 providential direction led me to the word of 
 God, and influenced me to seek his teaching 
 by prayer; God was faithful to his own pro- 
 mises, and it was an example of his own 
 words, " that every one that asketh receiveth, 
 and he that seeketh findeth." My sincerity 
 in seeking the truth, evinced by the sacrifice 
 I made to my conscience, was sufficient to 
 convince any person, who is conversant and 
 experienced in the things of God, that, as 
 my friend foretold, thither would all my in- 
 quiries lead me, in that would they all finally 
 centre. And could I bo assured, beloved 
 reader, whoever thou art, that thou wast as 
 sincerely desirous to know the truth, as I 
 then was, and as heartily resolved to embrace 
 it wherever thou didst find it, and whatever 
 it should cost thee; had I also assurance, that 
 in a believing dependence on these promises, 
 thou wast diligently, and from day to day, 
 in the study of the word of God, and by 
 prayer, seeking the accomplishment thereof 
 unto thy soul; I would as confidently foretell, 
 that, as to those things which I now regard 
 as essential to salvation, and, if thou hast the 
 souls of others committed to thee, as to what 
 is needful for thy usefulness in the ministry, 
 thou wouldst be brought in time to the same 
 conclusions, whatever thy present religious 
 sentiments may be. May the Lord give thee 
 true sincerity, and incline thine heart to try 
 the experiment! 
 
 I am aware that many will object to what 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 121 
 
 I have urged under this head, as being too 
 confident, and as urged by men of contr ary 
 religious sentiments, each in behalf of his 
 own system; and as I would neither wish 
 by vain controversy to be detained from 
 more profitable employments, nor yet to 
 have any material, and plausible objection 
 in force against what I have asserted, I hope 
 the reader will excuse my obviating this be- 
 forehand. In answer, therefore, to those 
 who may deem me too confident in this 
 argument, I would only entreat them im- 
 partially and carefully to consider the hmita- 
 tions with which, on every hand, it is guard- 
 ed ; and then to inquire, whether in any other 
 way, than that which hath been mentioned, 
 he can account for this circumstance: that is, 
 supposing this narrative true, for which the 
 appeal is to the heart-searching God; and 
 supposing the promises mentioned, to be 
 proposed to us, that we might embrace, de- 
 pend on, and plead them in prayer; con- 
 sidering the glory of the divine veracity as 
 concerned in their accomplishment to every 
 believer, and then try, whether you possibly 
 can evade one of the following conclusions: 
 
 1. Either God hath failed of his promise; or, 
 
 2. God hath in the main, and as far as is ex- 
 pressed, led the author by his Holy Spirit to 
 the knowledge and belief of the truth. To 
 the second argument, taken from experience, 
 I answer, 1. That it is not fact; many pre 
 tenders to sincerity and candour, will, without 
 
 11 
 
122 THE FORCE OF TRUTH: 
 
 hesitation, condemn as enthusiastical, such a 
 reliance on, and confidence in these promises, 
 and this way of searching for truth ; and it is 
 plain they do not seek truth in that manner, 
 which they condemn in others. Many others, 
 perhaps, slightly mention these matters, but 
 they will not endure to be closely question- 
 ed; they are conscious that they have not 
 sought the truth in this manner, and there- 
 fore they evade such discourse as personal. 
 2. I answer that the writings of many pre- 
 tended inquirers after truth, evidently show, 
 that they expect to find it, not by trusting 
 the Lord with all their heart, asking wisdom 
 of him, or seeking in the word of God and 
 by prayer, to be taught of him: but by lean- 
 ing to their own understanding, by resting 
 the argument on philosophical reasonings, 
 by backing it with the authority of this, or 
 that renowned name, and supporting their 
 conclusions by bold, and perplexing criti- 
 cism, and interpretations of Scripture. Hence 
 so many daring appeals from revelation, to 
 reason and philosophy; hence such and so 
 many objections brought against doctrines 
 plainly revealed in God's word; (if language 
 hath any determinate meaning;) and so many 
 consequences charged upon these doctrines, 
 with a design to invalidate their divine au- 
 thority; as if being made by every art of in- 
 genuity, to have the show of unreasonable- 
 ness, was sufficient to prove the plainest re- 
 velation of God's Holy Spirit a falsehood: 
 hence such liberty, in interpretation and 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 123 
 
 criticism, taken with the word of God, as 
 the learned would never endure in interpret- 
 ing, or criticising upon Horace or Virgil. 
 These things prove, that such persons are 
 strangers to that earnest, hearty, sincere de- 
 sire to know the truth, which brings the in- 
 quirer to an humble willingness to be taught 
 of God, and in submission of understanding 
 to seek wisdom from his word and Spirit. 
 And 3. It is evident, that many pretenders to 
 this sincere desire to know the truth, are not 
 troubled with suspicions that they are, or 
 can be wrong. They have made up their 
 minds before they began their inquiries; 
 and therefore you will not find them willing 
 to make the least concession, but, in the 
 management of the controversy, resolved to 
 vindicate, and contend for every tittle, wa- 
 ding through thick and thin, (as it is said,) to 
 make good their cause: and where argu- 
 ments fail, to make use of the other arts of 
 controversy, with which skill in the man- 
 agement of their weapons, and anger against 
 their opponents, can supply them. Where 
 a cause is maintained in this manner, you 
 may easily understand, that there is none of 
 that earnest desire of learning the truth, and 
 that anxious fear of mistaking it, or of that 
 distrust of self, and those doubts concerning 
 our present knowledge and belief, which con- 
 stitute that sincerity, that leads the inquirer 
 to the word and Spirit of God for direction 
 and teaching. Lay these things together, 
 
124 THE FORCE OF TRUTH .* 
 
 and they will on scriptural grounds, cut off 
 many confident pretenders to sincerity from 
 their claims as entirely as they exclude An- 
 nas and Caiaphas, and the chief Priests, 
 Scribes, and Pharisees, from being sincere 
 inquirers into the truth of the Old Testa- 
 ment; when in support of their own autho- 
 rity and reputation, and influenced by pride 
 and anger, they, under colour of their law, 
 put to death him, of whom Moses and the 
 prophets did write, even Jesus of Nazareth, 
 the Son of God. And as to men of another 
 spirit, who appear sincere, humble, and wil- 
 ling to be taught of God, in their inquiry 
 after truth; but do not entirely agree with 
 what has been laid down as my view of the 
 truth, I would only wish them to observe 
 the distinction established between some and 
 others of these doctrines. Such persons do 
 not, I dare say, materially differ from that 
 which has been mentioned as necessary to 
 salvation; and, therefore, as I allow that 
 they may have been in the main taught of 
 God; so I only require the same allowance; 
 and that it may be supposed that the same 
 God, who according to his promise hath led 
 both, as far as is needful to salvation, in the 
 same way, has in other things left us to dif- 
 fer, for the mutual exercise of candour and 
 forbearance, till that time when we shall 
 know even as we are known. 
 
 Lay these things impartially together; con- 
 sider my former sentiments on religious sub- 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 125 
 
 jects; my self-sufficiency and positiveness in 
 my opinions; my worldly interest and cha- 
 racter, both, to appearance, at stake ; my sin- 
 cerity in my religious inquiries thus evi- 
 denced ; and then suppose my present sen- 
 timents to be enthusiasm, and pernicious de- 
 lusion, and will it not be evident to your own 
 consciences, that I was a most unlikely per- 
 son to fall into them ? 
 
 II. In the second place, I would observe, 
 that this change in m.y sentiments, was very 
 gradual. 
 
 When any person suddenly changes his 
 religious opinions, for others, very different 
 from them, it is no inconsiderable evidence 
 of a changeable and fickle disposition: it 
 gives cause to suspect that he was not well 
 established in his former sentiments; that 
 he had taken them upon trust, and was a 
 stranger to the arguments wherewith they 
 might be defended, and to the objections, 
 which might be urged against them. If 
 worldly interest, reputation, or conveniency, 
 seem to favour the change, there is room for 
 a presumption, that these had an undue in- 
 fluence upon him; if not, it may be insinu- 
 ated, that he was deluded with specious ap- 
 pearances, that he did not allow himself 
 time to weigh the arguments pro and con ; 
 that he had only changed one set of notions 
 for another, without having duly considered 
 either side. Such objections may reasonably 
 be made, and the consequences of such pre- 
 
126 THE FORCE OF TRUTH : 
 
 cipitate changes too often justify them. But 
 though I was always, and still am, of a 
 headstrong, impetuous spirit in other things; 
 and when once I have purposed, can have 
 no rest from incessant agitation of mind till 
 I have accomplished; yet, in this particular, 
 I acted contrary to my natural temper. In- 
 deed, at first, I did in some instances too 
 much betray my impetuosity; but at that 
 time I acted not in the character of an in- 
 quirer, but in full confidence that it was 
 pleading the cause of truth, and had no more 
 thought of becoming what the world calls a 
 Methodist, than of turning Mahometan; and 
 after the first hurry was over, though com- 
 monly in earnest, and sometimes in conside- 
 rable perturbation of mind, I was outwardly 
 calm and satisfied; being generally enabled 
 to believe, that if I were in any thing at 
 present mistaken, I should sometime be 
 guided to the truth. My determination to 
 set about this inquiry proceeded not so much 
 from anxious fears about my own soul, as 
 from a deep sense impressed upon my heart, 
 of the importance of the ministry, and the 
 worth of souls committed to my charge, and 
 of the awful account to be given of them; 
 and as I all along bestowed some pains in 
 instructing them in what I believed to be the 
 truth; I was preserved thereby from any dis- 
 composing fears, or undue disquietude of 
 mind. I sat down very coolly to search for 
 the truth; I proceeded very gradually, and 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 127 
 
 with extreme caution: I took up no one 
 opinion upon trust ; I gave up none of my 
 sentiments, until the arguments wherewith 
 I had learned to defend them, were con- 
 vincingly answered; nor did I admit any 
 new articles into my creed, till either every 
 objection was obviated, or I was pressed on 
 the other hand with others, still more unan- 
 swerable. Much, very much, prayer and 
 meditation preceded every change of senti- 
 ment; and I was near three years from the 
 beginning of my inquiry, before I came to a 
 determination what was the truth. So long, 
 deliberately, and step by step, I examined 
 the premises, before I finally proceeded to 
 draw my conclusion. I perceive much cause 
 to be ashamed of my unteachable temper ; 
 for with such opportunities as were afforded 
 me, if I had improved them, I might have 
 been led to the knowledge and belief of the 
 same truths, in much less time. But the 
 Lord, I trust, led me in this way, and left 
 me thus far to my own natural pride of 
 heart; that it might more evidently appear, 
 that I received not my doctrines from man, 
 but that, indeed, in the first instance, I 
 learned them from the word and Spirit of 
 God. 
 
 Ill, Thirdly, I would observe, that as I 
 changed my religious views deliberately, so 
 I did it without any teaching from the per- 
 sons to whose sentiments I have^ now ac- 
 ceded. For a considerable time after the 
 
128 
 
 THE FOECE OF TRUTH: 
 
 commencement of my inquiries, I would not 
 so much as read what they had to urge in 
 their own behalf. I entered, indeed, into a 
 correspondence with Mr. ; but my in- 
 tention was, not to learn from him, but to 
 dispute with him, which, when he waived, 
 I dropped the correspondence, and utterly 
 neglected his letters, as not considering them 
 worth areperusal. From that time I avoided 
 his company, and all the time I would not 
 hear him preach. I would not be under- 
 stood to insinuate, that Mr. hath not 
 
 been useful to me: he hath been, and con- 
 tinues to be, eminently so; and I continually 
 see great cause to bless God for giving me 
 such a friend, to be so near at hand on all oc- 
 casions. But this I assuredly believe, that 
 had I never seen him after the time that his 
 example had put me upon considering my 
 conduct, I should have arrived at the same 
 views of gospel truth which I now have. — 
 His usefulness to me hath, all along, been in 
 those matters wherein we were in some mea- 
 sure agreed, not in those wherein we dif- 
 fered; for in these my proud heart scorned to 
 have him for a teacher. 
 
 At the same time, though I had the offer 
 of several books written by Dissenters and 
 Methodists, I dechned them; and did not for 
 near two years, peruse any of them with suf- 
 ficient attention, to recollect any thing of con- 
 sequence in them. I say not this, as slighting 
 these books: justice requires me to acknow- 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 129 
 
 ledge, that many of them which then I igno- 
 rantly despised, contain as soHd and judicious, 
 and excellent divinity, as hath been penned 
 since the apostles' days. But I did not get 
 my system from them; for that was nearly 
 completed, before I was prevailed upon to 
 read them. My studies, beside the Bible, 
 were mainly confined to authors of allowed 
 reputation in the church of England, several 
 of which I have mentioned. Wherein they 
 differed from each other, (as certainly Til lot- 
 son and Hooker, Jortin and Beveridge, Bull 
 and Hall, do differ very much indeed,) I en- 
 deavoured to judge for myself, comparing all 
 of them with the word of God, and with the 
 articles, homilies, and liturgy of the church 
 of England; and from such authors, thus 
 compared, as far as the writings of unin- 
 spired men have been instrumental to this 
 change, I have received the greatest part of 
 my present opinions. 
 
 But let it be observed, that the further these 
 streams are traced upward, toward the foun- 
 tain of the blessed reformation, the purer they 
 flow, according to my present judgment; and 
 I have no doubt but I could, were I to go 
 about it, with proper helps, prove undeniably, 
 that there is nothing material preached by 
 me, under the scandal of methodistical, which 
 was not preached by those excellent persons, 
 who, having laid the foundation of our church 
 establishment, gave their bodies to be burned, 
 in confirmation of the truths they taught. It 
 
130 THE FORCE OF TRUTH : 
 
 is much to be wished, that their hves and 
 discourses, hving and dying, and their re- 
 maining writings, were more generally known 
 amongst us, and did not remain locked up 
 from the world in large foHos, in the learned 
 languages, or in books out of print, or exceed- 
 ingly scarce : the effect of which is, that the 
 members of our national church are in gene- 
 ral utterly ignorant of its standard doctrines, 
 and ignorantly brand those as Methodists 
 and enthusiasts, who preach zealously the 
 very doctrines of the first reformers. 
 
 IV. In the fourth place, I would observe 
 the great influence which the study of the 
 Scriptures had in producing this change. 
 
 We are too apt, without careful examina- 
 tion, to take things for granted; and to collect 
 our scheme of divinity from other authors, 
 and only to fetch a few detached texts from 
 the Scripture, which appear to countenance 
 our preconceivedopinions; neglecting,orvery 
 slightly considering such parts of the word of 
 God, as seem incapable of being made use of 
 to our purpose : we are too prone in availing 
 ourselves of the labours of critics and expo- 
 sitors, to resign up ourselves implicitly to 
 their guidance, and to imagine that we have 
 proof enough of our doctrines, if we can pro- 
 duce the sanction of some great name, which 
 hath espoused and maintained them; with- 
 out carefully examining whether they be 
 right or wrong: but this is to pay that defer- 
 ence to the human interpretation, which is 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 131 
 
 only due to the divine book commented upon. 
 We ministers especially, though at ordination 
 we solemnly promise to turn all our studies, as 
 much as may be,into this channel, are very apt 
 to suffer our time and thoughts to be engross- 
 ed with such studies and employments as are 
 foreign thereto, interfere therewith, and leave 
 at most but a secondary attention for the 
 study of the word of God. Hence it comes 
 to pass, that frequently we do not bestow so 
 much pains in meditating upon the Bible, 
 and in comparing spiritual things with spi- 
 ritual, one Scripture with another, with what 
 we experience in our own hearts, and what 
 we hear and see in the world around us, as 
 we do about matters of far less consequence. 
 So that probably should we at any time sit 
 down to a diligent examination of the whole 
 word of God, we should find it a very differ- 
 ent book from what we expected: thus at 
 least it hath been with me, and possibly it 
 may be so with others. 
 
 The word of God informs us that true wis- 
 dom, the saving, practical, and experimental 
 knowledge of divine things, is not to be 
 acquired without earnest and dihgent seek- 
 ing, (Prov. ii. 1, 6.) "My son, if thou wilt 
 receive my words, and hide my command- 
 ments with thee; so that thou inchne thine 
 ear unto wisdom, and apply thine heart to 
 understanding: yea, if thou criest after know- 
 ledge, and lifteth up thy voice for under- 
 standing; if thou seekest her as silver, and 
 
1 32 THE FORCE OF TRUTH ; 
 
 searchest for her, as for hid treasures: then 
 shalt thou understand the fear of the Lord, 
 and find the knowledge of God." If then 
 our wisdom has been acquired without any 
 of that eager desire after, and painful dili- 
 gence in seeking it, with which the covetous 
 man desires, and seeks for his riches; it is a 
 shrewd conjecture, that it is not of the genu- 
 ine sort. Once I had in my own esteem a 
 sort of wisdom, which seemed to offer itself 
 to me spontaneously, and to be found with 
 little seeking. But now I am persuaded it 
 was but a counterfeit; a fair seeming, perni- 
 cious foolishness. 
 
 But that which I now esteem to be true 
 wisdom, if I could but attain unto it, is not 
 to be acquired in so easy a manner. When 
 I first began to desire and seek after this wis- 
 dom, I set out with the assurance, that it was 
 to be found in the Holy Scriptures, and no- 
 where else, these alone being able to make 
 us wise unto salvation. I therefore consider- 
 ed myself engaged to make them my study; 
 and as the whole was given by inspiration 
 from God, and was all declared to be profita- 
 ble for some purpose or other, according to 
 the various ends for which the Holy Spirit 
 designed therein; so I made the whole my 
 study without picking and choosing. Thus 
 I learned to look upon the Bible as my book 
 of instructions, given me along with my min- 
 isterial trust by my Lord and Master; that 
 from thence I was to draw all my doctrines, 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 133 
 
 instructions, and admonitions, warnings, ex- 
 amples, rules of duty, motives to duty, and 
 encouragement therein: and I also consider- 
 ed it to be the believer's charter of privileges, 
 containing exceeding great and precious pro- 
 mises, and the whole of that which God saw 
 fit to reveal, concerning those unspeakable 
 and inconceivable good things, which he 
 hath of his infinite mercy prepared for them 
 that love him. In order, therefore, faithfully 
 to declare my message from the Lord Al- 
 m-ighty to the souls of men, I found it indis- 
 pensably needful to be well acquainted with 
 every part, and to take the word of God my- 
 self, as well as propose it to others, as the 
 lantern of my feet, and the hght of my paths. 
 And not only to attend to the letter, but also 
 to the true meaning of the Spirit of God 
 therein. This I found to be a work that re- 
 quired much time, great diligence, mature 
 consideration, and an unbiassed, unprejudiced 
 mind. 
 
 With this view of the matter partly ob- 
 tained, and continually more and more un- 
 folding itself to my mind, I studied the word 
 of God, and have now for near four years 
 employed a very considerable part of my 
 time therein, neither rejecting, nor greatly 
 depending upon the assistance of interpre- 
 ters. I all along sincerely desired to know 
 the truth, and for that end read the Scrip- 
 tures, not as the word of man, but as the 
 word of God. And though there have been 
 
134 THE FORCE OF TRUTH : 
 
 seasons of remissness, when other employ- 
 ments and studies too much interfered with 
 this main business; and though at first I 
 was very far from an unbiassed mind; be- 
 ing blindly and obstinately prejudiced against 
 those doctrines, which I now believe to be 
 the true gospel of Jesus Christ; yet, within 
 that space I have read the Bible several 
 times over, in every part, with the strictest 
 attention I was capable of. There are very 
 few passages which relate to doctrine, that I 
 have not repeatedly and diligently examined, 
 comparing one with another, with all the 
 care and consideration I could; and I seldom 
 ever ceased meditating on any portion of 
 Scripture, until I had attained to some satis- 
 fying conclusion concerning its true mean- 
 ing, and agreement with other Scriptures. I 
 may truly say I have filled reams of paper 
 with religious discussions, with sermons, ex- 
 positions and letters, in all which I ransacked 
 the Bible, to bring as much Scripture evi- 
 dence for my direction as possible. For 
 these last two years I have scarce opened a 
 book except upon religious subjects, and 
 from morning till night, nearly every day, 
 all this while, my thoughts incessantly have 
 been employed in meditation upon the great 
 truths of the gospel. Every difficulty and 
 objection, (and difficulties and objections 
 both from my own meditations, and in the 
 course of my reading, continually crowded 
 upon my mind,) sent me to the word of God, 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 135 
 
 and increased my care and attention in ex- 
 amining and weighing every text of Scrip- 
 ture, respecting the point in question, before 
 I exchanged my old opinion for a new one. 
 
 Thus I may truly say, I have sought in 
 the word of God, (that field in which alone 
 this precious treasure hes hid,) for wisdom, 
 for the saving knowledge of divine things, as 
 for silver, and searched for her as for hidden 
 treasures. And though I am sensible, com- 
 pared with many, with whom I have per- 
 sonal acquaintance, and still more whose 
 works I read, my knowledge of the Scrip- 
 tures is superficial, the knowledge of a 
 child, of a mere novice in the school of 
 Christ; yet, I trust that, as far as relates to 
 the leading truths of the gospel, according to 
 the promise, I am brought to understand the 
 fear of the Lord, and have found the know- 
 ledge of God. And permit me, beloved 
 reader, to put thee in remembrance, that 
 until thou hast with some good measure of 
 this diligence, studied the whole word of 
 God, thou runnest very great hazards in 
 passing judgment upon the men and doc- 
 trines; be cautious in what thou doest; let 
 these men quite alone, until thou hast imi- 
 tated the conduct of the noble Bereans; and 
 hast thoroughly, and with unbiassed mind, 
 examined and meditated upon the whole 
 word of God, to see whether the things they 
 believe, and teach, be so or not. Lest other- 
 wise it should come to pass, (as probably 
 
136 THE FORCE OF TRUTH: 
 
 it will,) that in opposing and condemning 
 them, thou shouldst be found to fight against 
 God. And 0! that the Lord would hear 
 and grant my request, and by his Holy Spi- 
 rit powerfully incline the hearts of all, who 
 read these sheets, according to their leisure, 
 station in life, obligations, and opportunities, 
 thus attentively to read their Bibles; not as 
 the word of man, but as the word of God 
 himself, speaking from heawen, and unto 
 them, and concerning the everlasting inter- 
 est of their precious and immortal souls. 
 Be the adviser what he will, despised, and 
 deserving to be despised for a Methodist, the 
 advice is undoubtedly good: advice I shall 
 have no occasion to repent having thus given 
 you, at the solemn hour of death, and the 
 awful day of judgment; advice, which, at 
 those approaching seasons, none of you will 
 repent having followed; though it should 
 divert you from more amusing, and at this 
 day more reputable studies, or engross that 
 time, that you have been accustomed to de- 
 vote to more pleasurable and fashionable 
 employments; but which, neglected, will 
 be an additional sting in every conscience, 
 through all the countless ages of eternity. 
 
 And 0! that they to whom the chief Shep- 
 herd hath committed the care of precious 
 souls, and at whose hands he will assuredly 
 require every one that perishes through their 
 default, would take in good part this expres- 
 sion of the very affectionate desire of my soul. 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 137 
 
 both in behalf of them, and their flocks, in 
 dropping down these hints concerning their 
 peculiar obligations, to devote much of their 
 time to the attentive, unbiassed study of the 
 word of God, that infinitely best, but often 
 least studied of all books. What avails it, 
 that the ministers of the everlasting Gospel 
 should be learned classics, profound philoso- 
 phers, metaphysicians, and mathematicians, 
 expert logicians, or adorned with the know- 
 ledge of the politer sciences; if they are un- 
 acquainted, or but superficially acquainted, 
 with the sacred Scriptures? These other 
 branches of literature may amuse and enter- 
 tain them, may procure them preferment, 
 reputation, respect, and favour; but it is the 
 knowledge of the Bible, which alone can en- 
 able them in such a manner to attend to them- 
 selves, and to their doctrine, as shall issue in 
 the everlasting salvation of their own souls, 
 and the souls committed to their care. Far 
 be it from me to presume to lay down my 
 opinions as the standard of doctrine, or a rule 
 for the faith and preaching, of my brethren, 
 in this sacred ministry. But the more ob- 
 scure I am, the less objection there can rea- 
 sonably be against my just hinting to them, 
 that if any one should find this subject mani- 
 fest itself to his conscience, and make him 
 sensible, that verily he hath been faulty in 
 this matter, and hath been attending to other 
 employments, and studying other books more 
 than the word of God; then, possibly, he 
 12 
 
138 THE FORCE OF TRUTH: 
 
 may be mistaken in his sentiments concern- 
 ing the doctrine of the Gospel, and, being 
 mistaken himself, may be misleading others, 
 to the endangering of their immortal souls; 
 for he cannot be certain, but that, should he 
 employ some years in this single study, (which 
 its importance well deserves,) he may find 
 the Bible a very different book than he ex- 
 pected. 
 
 V. I would observe the influence which 
 prayer appears to have had in effecting this 
 change. 
 
 I am aware that the world, though called 
 Christian, is come to such a pass, that the 
 very mention of this subject, in many com- 
 panies, is accounted ill manners, or even re- 
 ceived with ridicule; and that being known 
 to live a life of prayer and communion with 
 God, is alone sufficient to denominate any 
 person a Methodist. However, it is scarce 
 needful to say, how full the word of God is, 
 of precepts, instruction, exhortations, invita- 
 tions, promises, and examples to this effect; 
 he never read his Bible, who knows not this; 
 nor can any man, under any pretence, make 
 a jest of this great duty and privilege of a 
 believer, without pouring contempt upon the 
 Holy Scriptures, and insulting the brightest 
 characters therein proposed to us as exam- 
 ples, not excepting the Lord Jesus himself. — 
 Let men, therefore, under the profession of 
 Christianity, be as irreligious and profane as 
 they please; I shall not be ashamed to speak 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 139 
 
 upon so unfashionable a topic; for if the 
 word of God be true, he never knew any- 
 thing as he ought to know, never believed, 
 never repented, never performed one duty 
 aright in his life, who hath not sought all his 
 wisdom, knowledge, faith, repentance, and 
 sufficiency for obedience, from God, by fer- 
 vent, instant, and persevering prayer. Time 
 was, even since I had souls committed to my 
 care, that I lived in the neglect of this duty, 
 and so without God in the world; but since, 
 through his forbearance and mercy, I have 
 been in earnest about the salvation of my 
 own soul and their's, I have not been left to 
 do so. However, it is not my intent to speak 
 any further on this subject, than relates to 
 the matter on hand. 
 
 The word of God promises the Holy Spirit 
 to them that ask him; he is the Spirit of 
 truth, leads into all truth, teaches all things, 
 and searches and reveals the deep things of 
 God. The leading promise to the church is, 
 (Isaiah, liv. 13,) " That all her children shall 
 be taught of the Lord." (John vi. 44, 45.) 
 Referring thereto, Christ hath declared, that 
 none can come unto him, except he be drawn 
 of the Father, and taught of God. And St. 
 Paul adds, (1 Cor. ii. 14,) "But the natural 
 man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of 
 God, for they are foolishness to him, neither 
 can he know them; because they are spirit- 
 ually discerned." The natural man is ex- 
 plained in Jude, by not having the Spirit, 
 
140 THE FORCE OF TRUTH: 
 
 which is evidently the Apostle's meaning in 
 this passage; for in the preceding verse he 
 declares, that he preached the gospel, not " in 
 words, which man's wisdom teacheth, but 
 which the Holy Ghost teacheth, comparing 
 spiritual things with spiritual." On these 
 grounds I concluded, that man's natural un- 
 derstanding could not spiritually, or profita- 
 bly, receive the knowledge of revealed mys- 
 teries, unless it be enlightened by the Holy 
 Spirit. I learned also that our eyes may be 
 bUnded by Satan, the God and prince of this 
 world; and our understandings closed, and 
 a veil upon our hearts, when we read the 
 word of God; in which case the letter of the 
 Scriptures, without the Spirit, only killeth. 
 Hence the need of our understandings being 
 opened, to understand the Scriptures; (for 
 want of which the plainest discourses of our 
 Lord to his disciples, concerning his suffer- 
 ings, death, and resurrection, were hid from 
 them, and they understood them not;) and of 
 the veil being taken from our hearts; for 
 want of which the Jews in reading the Old 
 Testament cannot understand the plainest 
 declarations of Moses, and the prophets, con- 
 cerning their promised Saviour. I was 
 taught also that true wisdom was the gift of 
 God, and to be asked of him, by every one, 
 who would be wise unto salvation, that *' the 
 secret of the Lord is with them that fear 
 him; and that those who receive not the love 
 of the truth, that they might be saved^ are 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 141 
 
 given over to a strong delusion to believe a 
 lie; that they might all be damned, who be- 
 lieved not the truth, but had pleasure in un- 
 righteousness." (2 Thes. v. 10 — 12.) 
 
 On these grounds, and depending upon 
 the promises and invitations so plentifully in- 
 terspersed through the Scriptures; when I 
 began to inquire after the truth, I began also 
 to cry unto the Lord for his guidance therein; 
 and as my mind became more and more en- 
 gaged, and my difficulties, in extricating my- 
 self from the labyrinths of controversy in- 
 creased, I became more and more earnest, 
 and constant, and particular, in making my 
 request known unto God. My constant 
 prayer to the Lord was, to be delivered from 
 pride and prejudice, blindness of heart, con- 
 tempt of the truth, obstinacy, enthusiasm, ig- 
 norance, and error. That the Lord would 
 give me wisdom and knowledge, guide me 
 to the truth as it is in Jesus, open my under- 
 standing, take away the veil from my heart, 
 and make known unto me the way of salva- 
 tion, which is revealed to sinners in his holy 
 word. Thus waiting upon the Lord, accord- 
 ing to his own appointment, depending upon, 
 and pleading his promises from day to day, 
 I was led from one thing to another, until my 
 view of religious truth was totally changed. 
 This I most firmly believe to have been by 
 the promised teaching of the Spirit of truth, 
 powerfully enlightening my mind, opening 
 the Scriptures, and, by dispelling the clouds 
 
142 THE FORCE OF TRUTH: 
 
 of error, and prejudices, enabling me to re- 
 ceive the truth therein contained. 
 
 But though I am not ashamed of declaring 
 my desire of living a life of prayer, and com- 
 munion with God; yet I have no intention in 
 speaking thus publicly on such a subject, but 
 to advance his glory, and forward the salva- 
 tion of souls. As in his presence I declare, 
 that I have prayed over many of the most 
 interesting passages of Scripture, chapter by 
 chapter, and often verse by verse, with the 
 most anxious apprehensions of rejecting or 
 mistaking the truth, or embracing a false- 
 hood; and with the most earnest desire of 
 knowing what that doctrine was, which Jesus 
 and his apostles taught. In the sight of God 
 I am sensible I have abundant cause to be 
 humbled, and ashamed of my frequent re- 
 missness in, and the continual defilements of, 
 my prayers: but as surely as I believe his 
 promises to be faithful, as surely I believe 
 him to be a God that heareth prayers; so 
 surely do I believe that flesh and blood hath 
 not revealed to me the doctrines I now 
 preach, but God himself by his Holy Spirit. 
 
 Reader, whoever thou art, if thy con- 
 science testify, that thou hast hitherto lived 
 in the neglect of this important duty, or in 
 the formal, lifeless, and unmeaning perform- 
 ance of it with thy lips, whilst thy heart hath 
 been disengaged, and thy thoughts allowedly 
 wandering to the ends of the earth; if thou 
 hast not been accustomed by fervent prayer 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 143 
 
 to seek wisdom from God by his teaching 
 Spirit; if thou knowest not what it is to ex- 
 ercise faith upon the promises pointed out to 
 thee, nor to plead them in prayer to a pro- 
 mise-keeping God; if all thy knowledge of 
 divine things hath been acquired by leaning 
 to thy own understanding; if in reading the 
 Scriptures, thou hast looked more to learned 
 critics, commentators, and expositors, than 
 to the illuminating Spirit of God, sought in 
 humble prayer, to open thy understanding, 
 to take the veil from thine heart, and to give 
 thee that wisdom, which is from above; then 
 be as sure as the word of God is true, and 
 we are concerned in it, that thou art in 
 the wrong, the light that is in thee is dark- 
 ness, and thou knoweth nothing yet as thou 
 oughtest to know. May the Lord effectually 
 incline thine heart to take a contrary course, 
 and to seek wisdom where alone it can be 
 found, from the Lord, the Father of Lights, 
 and the giver of every good and perfect gift, 
 who hath invited thee to ask, that it may be , 
 given thee ! 
 
 VL I would observe, that there is nothing 
 in this Narrative, which can reasonably be 
 condemned as enthusiasm. 
 
 It is allowed, that there is such a thing as 
 enthusiasm; that it is a frequent attendant 
 on religious zeal; that in some of its opera- 
 tions it is a grievous evil, (I speak of the 
 faulty enthusiasm;) in all, attended with many 
 inconveniences; and that it ought very care- 
 
144 THE FORCE OF TRUTH: 
 
 fully to be guarded against by every religious 
 professor, and zealous preacher. It would 
 also be in vain to pretend, that the late re- 
 vivals of religion, which indiscriminately 
 have been stigmatized with the name of 
 Methodism, have been, in opinion and prac- 
 tice, entirely free from enthusiasm. What 
 revivals of religion ever were free from such 
 scandals? Where the Lord sows his good 
 seed, there the enemy will be sure to scatter 
 his tares. It must be confessed, that some of 
 the most eminent instruments in this work, 
 whose names, when prejudice shall vanish, 
 will be handed down with honour, as burn- 
 ing and shining lights, to the latest periods of 
 the church, have, by the greatness of their 
 zeal, through human frailty, been betrayed 
 into sentim^ts, expressions, and deportment, 
 in some instances justly to be censured as en- 
 thusiastical; of which their enemies have 
 not failed sufficiently to avail themselves. 
 But whatever indiscretions and mistakes 
 particular persons, who have preached these 
 doctrines, may have fallen into, this doth not, 
 in the judgment of candid and impartial per- 
 sons^n the least affect the general cause, or 
 prove the doctrines erroneous. We would 
 not contend for the credit of individuals, 
 or the interests of a party: but for the 
 doctrines of God's word, and of the es- 
 tablished church of England. These will 
 continue true and important, though many 
 of those who have zealously and success- 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 145 
 
 fully preached them, should have justly- 
 incurred the charge of enthusiasm. • All 
 that I would intimate is this; that a man 
 may be led to the belief of those doctrines, 
 which are branded as Methodistical, in a way 
 of sober, rational inquiry; and zealously 
 preach them without being an enthusiast. 
 
 It would be very well, if some of those, 
 who so readily accuse whole bodies of appa- 
 rently religious persons of enthusiasm, would 
 favour us with their determinate definition 
 of an enthusiast. In its original meaning 
 the word has a very favourable sense, and 
 implies, that by a divine influence upon the 
 soul, a man is filled with an ardour and 
 warmth of zeal in the cause he is engaged 
 in. Now, it is good to be zealously affected 
 always in a good thing, and if our ardour of 
 soul be from the Spirit of God, according to 
 the revealed will of God, and for the glory or 
 God, it is the noblest, most desirable, most 
 heavenly, and most beneficial exertion of the 
 human mind. In every thing but religion an 
 ardour, described by the term enthusiasm, is 
 allowed and commended: a poetical, a mili- 
 tary, a patriotic enthusiasm, even when they 
 carry men beyond the strict bounds of cold rea- 
 sonings, and exact prudence, fail not to meet 
 with admirers. Our zeal may be fervent in 
 every thing without censure, save when we 
 are zealous for the glory of God, and the sal- 
 vation of immortal souls. But there is an 
 13 
 
146 THE FORCE OF TRUTH: 
 
 enthusiasm of this sort, which forms the 
 highest elevation, and the noblest effort of 
 the hnman soul. Such an enthusiasm ani- 
 mated the apostle Paul, in all his self-deny- 
 ing labours and sufferings, and filled, (under 
 the guidance of the Holy Ghost) his writings 
 with such ardent zeal for the honour of his 
 dear Saviour, and affection for the souls of 
 men; such an enthusiasm he expresses, when 
 he says, (2 Cor. v. 13, 14,) "Whether we be 
 beside ourselves, it is to God, or whether we 
 be sober, it is for your cause; for the love of 
 Christ constraineth us." Of such an enthu- 
 siasm as this I wish I were far more guilty. 
 But on the other hand there is danger of a 
 counterfeit, pernicious enthusiasm, and about 
 that we are now inquiring. Now, I appre- 
 hend, that in order to constitute this culpable 
 enthusiasm, some one or more of the following 
 things must appear; either the ardour of the 
 soul, which is excited, must proceed from a 
 heated imagination, or from a delusion of 
 Satan, instead of being produced by a divine 
 influence; or the cause, in which this ardour 
 is employed, must be the cause of self and 
 error, instead of the cause of God and truth; 
 or it must exert itself in unjustifiable mea- 
 sures and practices. But if our ardour of 
 mind be warranted by the word of God; if 
 it do not tend to the dishonour of God; and 
 if it be confined in its exercise to the rules 
 and precepts of the word of God, how in- 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 147 
 
 tense soever it may be, I can see no cause to 
 censure it; unless men can be too zealous for 
 the glory of God, and the salvation of souls. 
 But Avhatever be the distinguishing crite- 
 rion of enthusiasm, I suppose it v/ill be diffi- 
 cult to fix a charge upon it of any thing, for 
 which I plead in this Narrative. I never was 
 taught any thing by impulses, impressions, 
 visions, dreams, or revelations; except so far 
 as the work of the Spirit, in enlightening the 
 understanding tor the reception of those truths 
 contained in the Holy Scriptures, is some- 
 times styled revelation. Other revelation I 
 never expected or experienced, nor ever 
 taught others to expect. Not but that the 
 Lord is sovereign, and may do what he will 
 with his own; and, if he pleases, may, and I 
 suppose sometimes does, go out of the ordi- 
 nary course, for the conversion of a sinner, 
 or the guidance of a perplexed, or the com- 
 fort of a distressed soul; but I never took one 
 step in dependence on any such extraor- 
 dinary interpositions, nor encouraged any 
 person to do so. And surely it will not be 
 called enthusiasm, by any but avowed infi- 
 dels, to believe God's word to be the rule of 
 truth, and his promises to be faithful, and in 
 this belief to seek for the knowledge of the 
 doctrines of the Gospel, in the manner re- 
 lated. In this way I have been taught no 
 new truths, but as I believe, have been shown 
 the meaning, use, tendency, consistency, har- 
 mony, wisdom, and glory of those truths 
 
148 THE FORCE OF TRUTH; 
 
 which are contained in the sacred volume, 
 but which before, through pride and igno- 
 rance, I perverted, neglected, reviled, and 
 counted foolishness. Nor do I make any pre- 
 tences to infallibility; God hath not, I trust, 
 left me so unstable, as to float about in the 
 uncertain stream of opinion, and to be tossed 
 to and fro with every wind of doctrine by the 
 sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, where- 
 by they lay in wait to deceive. As to the 
 grand doctrines of the Gospel, which I have 
 endeavoured to mark out as necessary to sal- 
 vation, they are neither so uncertain nor so 
 diflicult, as men would persuade us; their 
 uncertainty and difficulty arise wholly from 
 our pride, prejudice, love of sin, and inatten- 
 tive ignorance of our own hearts. There is 
 really much difliculty in bringing vain man 
 to cease from leaning to his own understand- 
 ing; and in prevailing with him to trust in the 
 Lord with all his heart, and to be willing, in 
 the humble posture of a little child, to be 
 taught of God. Nothing but a deep convic- 
 tion of guilt, a fear of wrath, and a sense of 
 our lost condition by nature and practice, can 
 bring our minds unto this submissive frame; 
 but this being effected, the difficulty is over, 
 and the way of salvation is so plain, that the 
 wa^^faring men, though fools, shall not err 
 therein. As to the other doctrines, which I 
 beUeve myself, though they seem plain 
 enough to me, I desire not to proselyte others 
 to them, but am willing to leave them as 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 149 
 
 matters, in which falUble men may differ 
 without danger. And as to my sufficiency 
 for the faithful discharge of my ministry to 
 God's glory, and the salvation of souls, he 
 will not, I trust, deceive my expectations, 
 which are grounded on his promises; for the 
 rest I mistake daily, and find myself in con- 
 tinual danger of mixing my own imaginations 
 with his divine truths, and following my own 
 spirit instead of his. Whatever I preach truly, 
 or do wisely, to God be the glory, for I am 
 not sufficient of myself to think a good 
 thought; whatever I speak falsely, or do 
 foolishly, to me be the shame, for it is the 
 natural fruit of my own deceitful heart. If 
 this be enthusiasm, it is an enthusiasm war- 
 ranted not only by the word of God, as I 
 have endeavoured to prove, but by the whole 
 liturgy of our church. We all at ordination 
 profess to be moved by the Holy Ghost, to 
 take the ministerial office upon us, and assu- 
 redly we cannot be moved by the Holy 
 Ghost, if we have not the Holy Ghost, nor 
 may expect his help and guidance. We agree 
 to pray, that the Lord would lead in the way 
 of truth all such as have erred and are de- 
 ceived ; that he would illuminate all bishops, 
 priests, and deacons, with true knowledge 
 and understanding of his holy word; that 
 he would cleanse our hearts by the inspi- 
 ration of his Holy Spirit; that he would 
 grant us true repentance and his Holy 
 Spirit; and much more to this effect; and I 
 
150 THE FORCE OP TRUTH : 
 
 am persuaded that such a confidence as I 
 have expressed cannot be censured as enthu- 
 siasm, without directly including our church 
 establishment and conthiual public worship 
 in the same charge. 
 
 VII. Lastly, I would observe, that our op- 
 posers and despisers will seldom give us the 
 hearing. With all their pretensions to can- 
 dour, reasoning, and free inquiry, they accuse 
 and condemn us without so much as know- 
 ing, with any tolerable degree of accuracy, 
 what our sentiments are; although they are 
 furnished with such plentiful means of infor- 
 mation, in those numerous publications, which 
 are now extant upon these subjects. 
 
 Having imbibed strong prejudices against 
 lis, they frame so contemptuous an opinion 
 of our understandings and our writings, that 
 they will not bestow so much pains, or afford 
 so much regard, as to peruse our books; and 
 to call an author a Methodist, is with many 
 people a sufficient reason why they should 
 not read his works. Hence it comes to pass, 
 that for want of information, our doctrines 
 are grievously misrepresented; and in gene- 
 ral the attacks made upon us, though they 
 make our persons odious and despised, do 
 not in the least affect the argument in de- 
 bate. What most of our adversaries know 
 of our opinions, are only scattered fragments 
 picked up by hearsay, wherein neither the 
 connexion, consistency, tendency, nor appli- 
 cation of these opinions are preserved; and 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 151 
 
 therefore no wonder that we areviUfied, and 
 reproached with things to which we are utter 
 strangers, or which we abominate and pro- 
 test against from Sabbath to Sabbath, and 
 against which we neglect not to fill our writ- 
 ings with reasonings, warnings, and cau- 
 tions. 
 
 For my own part I freely acknowledge, 
 that my strongest objections against this 
 scheme of doctrine arose wholly from mis- 
 apprehension and mistake. Not having read 
 their books, my notions of the doctrines of 
 the Methodists were received from vulgar 
 report, and from their enemies; while my 
 own creative imagination put the construc- 
 tion upon, and drew the consequences from 
 them; so that when I preached against them, 
 I was as one fighting with my own shadow; 
 and in speaking evil of those things that I 
 knew not, I only betrayed my own igno- 
 rance and pride. No better founded are the 
 lamentable outcries, which at this day are 
 made against us and our principles, as if we 
 were endeavouring to banish reason, argu- 
 ment, sober-mindedness, and morality out of 
 the world; and in their stead to substitute a 
 parcel of whimsical vagaries, which are with- 
 out foundation in reason, or Scripture, and 
 have no influence, or rather a pernicious in- 
 fluence, on our conduct and conversation. 
 When such a declamation is ended, (for one 
 would not interrupt it,) ask the declaimer 
 what a Methodist is? He can scarce give 
 
152 
 
 THE FORCE OF TRUTH : 
 
 you an answer; inquire about their doc- 
 triiies, he doth not understand them; their 
 writings, he never hath read them! 
 
 Reader, if thou desirest to l^now what our 
 opinions are, and what reason there is for 
 these heavy charges, read our books; but 
 read them with attention, and aim at impar- 
 tiaUty; compare them with the word of God, 
 and with the liturgy, articles, and homilies of 
 the church of England; and if thou hast lei- 
 sure and opportunity, with the works of our 
 first reformers. Nor do we desire thee to 
 renounce thy reason, but only to make this 
 reasonable concession ; that where thy rea- 
 son would determine one way, but God 
 hath expressly determined another way, 
 thou wouldst allow him to understand his 
 own mysteries better than thou dost; and 
 that therefore, thou oughtest, by faith, ex- 
 ercised upon the veracity of God, to receive 
 those matters implicitly, and without reason- 
 ing, which God hath revealed, and which 
 thy reason feels to be far above, out of its 
 reach, and therefore out of its province. 
 Whenever, on such inquiry, thou discoverest 
 us to be mistaken, there dissent from us, yea 
 blame us, as far as meekness and candour will 
 permit; but do not condemn us in the gross; 
 do not assert our whole scheme of doctrine 
 to be enthusiastical and groundless, though 
 some of our writers should be found to have 
 advanced some questionable opinion. This 
 were the way to drive all truth and certainty 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 153 
 
 out of the world; for what book can be 
 mentioned, the Bible excepted, wherein 
 there is nothing advanced, either erroneous 
 or questionable? 
 
 And be assured, it is no argument of a 
 sincere desire to know the truth, to read only- 
 one side of the question, and then clamor- 
 ously to adopt every childish cavil, every 
 vague report, every scandalous falsehood; 
 and industriously to propagate them, as if 
 these afforded a sufficient confutation of all 
 the arguments, authorities, and Scripture 
 testimonies wherewith we support our sen- 
 timents. Observe; that though some pro- 
 fessors have been proved enthusiasts, and 
 others detected to be hypocrites, this doth 
 not prove that we are all enthusiasts and 
 hypocrites. Such rash judgments hurt not 
 us, but those that pass them. 
 
 For myself, I here publicly profess that I 
 will, to the end of my days, acknowledge it, 
 as the greatest obligation that any person can 
 confer upon me, if, in the spirit of meekness, 
 he will point out to me any error or enthu- 
 siastical delusion, into which I have fallen, 
 and by sufficient arguments convince me of 
 it. I trust, that my earnest desire to discover 
 the truth, as it is in Jesus, has not abated in 
 its influence, and that I retain the same dis- 
 interested resolution to embrace, and adhere 
 to it, with which I set out. Still am I soli- 
 citously fearful of being betrayed by my 
 warmth of spirit, and by the deceitfulness of 
 
154 THE FOECE OF TRUTH: 
 
 my heart, into erroneous opinions. But it is 
 not clamour and reproach, or objections and 
 arguments brought against sentiments I de- 
 test, or consequences I allow not, and do not 
 see to be consequent from my doctrines; it 
 is not such reasoning as sets one divine attri- 
 bute at variance with another, and makes 
 one part of the Bible contradict another, or 
 exalts the human understanding upon the 
 tribunal, and arraigns and condemns revealed 
 mysteries at her presumptuous bar; I say, 
 such a procedure will have no weight with 
 me, or with any who ever knew the grace of 
 God in truth. 
 
 And now, beloved reader, let me conclude, 
 with leaving it upon thy conscience, to search 
 for the truth of the Gospel in the study of 
 God's word, accompanied by prayer, as thou 
 wouldst search for hid treasure. I give thee 
 this counsel, as expecting to meet thee at the 
 day of judgment, that our meeting may be 
 with joy, and not with grief; may the Lord 
 incline thee to follow it, with that solemn sea- 
 son full in view! Time, how short! eternity, 
 how long! life, how precarious and vanish- 
 ing! death, how certain! the pursuits and 
 employments of this present life, how vain, 
 unsatisfying, trifling, and vexatious! God's 
 favour and eternal life, how unspeakably 
 precious! his wrath, the never-quenched fire, 
 and the never-dying worm, how dreadful! 
 Oh! trifle not away thy span of life, in heap- 
 ing up riches, which shortly must be left for 
 
AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 155 
 
 ever, and which profit not in the day of 
 wrath; in such pleasures and amusements, 
 as will issue in eternal torments; or in seek- 
 ing that glory which shall be swallowed up 
 in everlasting infamy. Agree but with me 
 in this; that it is good to redeem thy precious 
 time, to labour for the meat that endureth 
 unto everlasting life, and to attend princi- 
 pally to the one thing needful: take but thy 
 measure of truth as well as duty from the 
 word of God: be willing to be taught of God; 
 meditate on his word day and night; let it be 
 the light of thy feet and the lantern of thy 
 paths; and in studying it, lean not to thy own 
 understanding, trust not implicitly to exposi- 
 tors and commentators, but ask wisdom and 
 teaching of God. And be not a Felix, say- 
 ing to thy serious apprehensions about thy 
 soul, " Go thy way at this time, when I have 
 a convenient season I will call for thee;" lest 
 death and judgment come before that season; 
 be not an Agrippa, an almost Christian; 
 but seek to be altogether such as the primi- 
 tive Christians were. I say, agree but with 
 me in these reasonable requests, and we shall 
 at length agree in all things; in many in this 
 world; in all, when we hear the Son of God 
 address us in these rejoicing words, '^Come, 
 ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom 
 prepared for you from the foundation of the 
 world." May the Lord vouchsafe unto the 
 writer, and to every reader of this book, that 
 wisdom which is from above; that teaching 
 
156 THE FORCE OF TRUTH. 
 
 of his Holy Spirit which guides into the ways 
 of peace; that faith which justifies; that 
 peace of God which passeth understand- 
 ing; and that measure of sanctifying and 
 strengthening grace, which shall enable us to 
 hold on, and hold out unto the end, always 
 abounding in the work of the Lord, as know- 
 ing that our labour shall not be in vain in the 
 Lord. 
 
APPENDIX. 
 
 LETTERS ADDRESSED TO REV. DR. SCOTT, BY THE 
 REV, JOHN NEWTON. 
 
 LETTER I. 
 
 June 23, 1775. 
 Dear Sir: — I have met with mterruptions 
 till now, or you would have heard from 
 me sooner. My thoughts have run much 
 upon the subject of your last, because I per- 
 ceive it has a near connection with your 
 peace. Your integrity greatly pleases me ; 
 far be it from me to shake the principle of 
 your conduct; yet, in the application, I think 
 there is a possibility of carrying your excep- 
 tions too far. 
 
 From the account you give me of your 
 sentiments, I cannot but wonder you find it 
 so difficult to accede to the Athanasian Creed, 
 when it seems to me you believe and avow 
 what that creed chiefly sets forth. The doc- 
 trine of the Trinity, some explication of the 
 terms being subjoined, is the Catholic Faith; 
 without the belief of which a man cannot be 
 
158 LETTERS TO THE 
 
 saved. This damnatory clause seems to me 
 proved by Mark xvi. 16. "He that be- 
 lieveth shall be saved," &c. The object of 
 faith must be truth. The doctrine of the 
 deity of Christ, and of the Holy Spirit, in 
 union with the Father, so that they are not 
 three Gods, but one God, is not merely a pro- 
 position expressed in words, to which our 
 assent is required, but is absolutely neces- 
 sary to be known; since without it no one 
 truth respecting salvation can be rightly un- 
 derstood, no one promise duly believed, no 
 one duty spiritually performed. I take it 
 for granted, that this doctrine must appear 
 irrational and absurd in the eye of reason, if 
 by reason we mean the reason of man in his 
 fallen state, before it is corrected and enlight- 
 ened by a heavenly teacher. No man can 
 say Jesus is Lord, but by the Holy Ghost. I 
 believe with you, that a man may be saved 
 who never heard of the creed, who never 
 read any book but the New Testament, or 
 perhaps a single Evangelist ; but he must be 
 taught of God the things that accompany 
 salvation, or I do not think he can be saved. 
 The mercies of God in Christ will not save 
 any, (as I apprehend,) but according to the 
 method revealed in his word, that is, those 
 who are truly partakers of faith and holi- 
 ness. For as the religion of the New Testa- 
 ment ascribes all power to God, and consi- 
 ders all goodness in us as the effect of his 
 communication, we being by nature destitute 
 
REV. DB. SCOTT. 159 
 
 of spiritual life or light; so those whom God 
 himself is pleased to teach, will infallibly at- 
 tain the knowledge of all that they are con- 
 cerned to know. This teaching yon are 
 waiting for, and it shall be given you ; yea^ 
 the Lord, I trust, has begun to teach you al- 
 ready: but if you consider yourself as a 
 learner, and that it is possible, under the 
 Spirit's increasing illumination, you may 
 hereafter adopt some things which at present 
 you camiot approve, I should think it too 
 early as yet to prescribe to yourself rules and 
 determinations for the government of your 
 future hfe. Should the will of God appoint 
 you a new path for service, he may, sooner 
 than you are aware, quiet your mind, and 
 enable you to subscribe with as full a per- 
 suasion of mind as you now object to sub- 
 scription. 
 
 When I think of an inclosure, some hedge, 
 wall, bank, ditch, &c. is of course included 
 in my idea ; for who can conceive of an 
 inclosure without a boundary? So, in a 
 church, there must be, I apprehend, some- 
 thing marked out, the approbation or refusal 
 of which will determine who do or do not 
 belong to it: And for this purpose articles 
 of some kind seem not improper. You think 
 it would be better to have these articles in 
 scriptural expressions. But if it be lawful 
 to endeavour to exclude from our pulpits 
 men who hold sentiments the most repug- 
 nant to the truth, I wish you to consider, 
 
160 LETTERS TO THE 
 
 whether this can be in any measure secured 
 by articles in which the Scripture-doctrines 
 are not explained and stated, as well as ex- 
 pressed. This proposal is strenuously pleaded 
 for by many in our day, upon views very 
 different from yours. The Socinians, for in- 
 stance, would readily subscribe a scriptural 
 declaration of the high priesthood, atone- 
 ment, and intercession of Christ, (while they 
 are allowed to put their own sense upon the 
 terms:) though the sense they maintain be 
 utterly inconsistent with what those who are 
 enlightened by the Holy Spirit learn from the 
 same expressions. 
 
 I acknowledge, indeed, that the end is not 
 answered by the present method; since there 
 are too many, like the person you mention, 
 who would easily subscribe nine hundred 
 articles, rather than baulk his preferment: 
 yet the profligacy of some seems to be no 
 just reason why the church, why any church, 
 should not be at liberty to define the terms 
 upon which they will accept members or 
 teachers, or why conscientious persons should 
 object to these terms, (if they think them 
 agreeable to the truth,) merely because they 
 are not expressed in the precise words of 
 Scripture. If allowance may be made for 
 human infirmity in the Liturgy^ I see not 
 why the Articles may not be entitled to the 
 same privilege. For it seems requisite that 
 we should be as well satisfied with the ex- 
 pressions we use with our lips, in frequent 
 
REV. DR. SCOTT. 161 
 
 solemn prayer to God, as in what we sub- 
 scribe with our hands. I am persuaded that 
 the leaders of the Association at the Feathers 
 Tavern, some of them at least, though they 
 begin with the affair of subscription, would 
 not (if they might have their wish) stop there, 
 but would go on with their projected reform, 
 till they had overturned the Liturgy also, or 
 at least weeded it from every expression that 
 bears testimony to the deity of the Saviour, 
 and the efficacious influence of the Holy Spi- 
 rit. I bless God that you are far otherwise 
 minded. 
 
 I hope, however, though you should not 
 think yourself at liberty to repeat your sub- 
 scription, the Lord will make you comforta- 
 ble and useful in your present rank as a cu- 
 rate. Preferment is not necessary, either to 
 our peace or usefulness. We may live and 
 die contentedly, without the honours and 
 emoluments which aspiring men thirst after, 
 if he be pleased to honour us with a dispen- 
 sation to preach his Gospel, and to crown our 
 endeavours with a blessing. He that win- 
 neth souls is wise ; wise in the choice of the 
 highest end he can propose to himself in this 
 life; wise in the improvement of the only 
 means by which this desirable end can be at- 
 tained. Wherever we cast our eyes, the bulk 
 of the people are ignorant, immoral, careless. 
 They live without God in the world; they are 
 neither awed by his authority, nor affecte'd by 
 his goodness, nor enabled to trust to his pro- 
 14 
 
162 LETTERS TO THE 
 
 mises, nor disposed to aim at his glory. If, 
 perhaps, they have a serious interval, or some 
 comparative sobriety of character, they 
 ground their hopes upon their own doings, 
 endeavours, or purposes; and treat the inex- 
 pressible love of God revealed in Christ, and 
 the Gospel method of salvation by faith in 
 his name, with neglect, often with contempt. 
 They have preachers, whom perhaps they 
 hear with some pleasure because they neither 
 alarm their consciences by insisting on the 
 spirituality and sanction of the divine law, 
 nor offend their pride by publishing the hu- 
 miliating doctrines of that Gospel, which is 
 the power of God through faith unto salva- 
 tion. Therefore what they do speak, they 
 speak in vain ; the world grows worse and 
 worse under their instructions; infidelity and 
 profligacy abound more and more; for God 
 will own no other doctrine but what the apos- 
 tle calls the truth as it is in Jesus; that doc- 
 trine which drives the sinner from all his vain 
 pleas, and points out the Lord Jesus Christ 
 as the only ground of hope, the supreme ob- 
 ject of desire, as appointed of God to be wis- 
 dom, righteousness, sanctification, and re- 
 demption, to all who believe in his name. — 
 When ministers themselves are convinced of 
 sin, and feel the necessity of an Almighty 
 Saviour, they presently account their former 
 gain but loss, and determine, with the apos- 
 tle, to know nothing but Jesus Christ and him 
 crucified. In proportion as they do this, they 
 
REV. DR. SCOTT. 163 
 
 are sure to be wondered at, laughed at, and 
 railed at, if the providence of God and the 
 constitution of their country, secure them 
 from severer treatment. But they have this 
 invaluable compensation, and they no longer 
 speak without effect. In a greater or less 
 degree a change takes place in their audito- 
 ries; the bhnd receive their sight, the deaf 
 hear, the lepers are cleansed; — sinners are 
 turned from darkness to light, and from the 
 power of Satan to God; — sinful practices are 
 forsaken; and a new course of life in the 
 converts, evidences that they have not fol- 
 lowed cunningly-devised fables, or taken up 
 with uncertain notions; but that God has in- 
 deed quickened them by his Spirit, and given 
 them an understanding to know him that is 
 true. The preachers, likewise, while they 
 attempt to teach others, are taught them- 
 selves: a blessing descends upon their studies 
 and labours, upon their perusal of the Scrip- 
 tures, upon their attention to what passes 
 within them and around them. The events 
 of every day contribute to throw light upon 
 the word of God: their views of divine truth 
 grow more enlarged, connected, and com- 
 prehensive; many difficulties which per- 
 plexed them at their first setting out, trouble 
 them no m.ore; the God whom they serve, 
 and on whom they wait, reveals to them 
 those great things, which, though plainly ex- 
 pressed in the letter of Scripture, cannot be 
 understood and realized without divine teach- 
 
164 LETTERS TO THE 
 
 ing, 1. Cor. ii. 9 to 15. Thus they go on 
 from strength to strength; hard things be- 
 come easy, and a divine Ught shines upon 
 their paths. Opposition from men per- 
 haps may increase ; they may expect to be 
 represented, as those who turn the world up- 
 side down; the cry. Great is Diana, will be 
 raised against them, the gates of the temple 
 of preferment will be seldom open to them ; 
 but they will have the unspeakable consola- 
 lation of applying to themselves those lively 
 words of the apostle, " As sorrowful, yet 
 always rejoicing; as poor, yet making many 
 rich ; as having nothing, and yet possessing 
 all things." 
 
 It is the strain of evident sincerity which 
 runs through your letters that gives me a 
 pleasing confidence the Lord is with you. 
 A disinterested desire of knowing the truth, 
 with a willingness to follow it through all 
 disadvantages, is a preparation of the heart 
 which only God can give. He has directed 
 you to the right method, searching the Scrip- 
 tures, with prayer. Go on, and may his 
 blessing attend you. You may see, from 
 what I have written above, what is the de- 
 sire of my heart for you. But I am not im- 
 patient. Follow your heavenly leader, and 
 in his own time and manner he will make 
 your way plain. I have travelled the path 
 before you. I see what you yet want; I can- 
 not impart it to you, but he can, and I trust, 
 he will. It will rejoice my soul to be any 
 
REV. DR. SCOTT. 165 
 
 way assistant to you; but I am afraid I 
 should not afford you much, either profit or 
 satisfaction, by entering upon a dry defence 
 of creeds and articles. 
 
 The truths of Scripture are notUke mathe- 
 matical theorems, which present exactly the 
 same ideas to every person who understands 
 the terms. The word of God is compared 
 to a mirror, 2 Cor. iii. 18: but it is a mirror in 
 which the longer we look the more we see ; 
 the view will be still growing upon us ; and 
 still we shall see but in part while on this 
 side eternity. When our Lord pronounced 
 Peter blessed, declaring he had learnt that 
 which flesh and blood could not have taught 
 him, yet Peter was at that time much in the 
 dark. The sufferings and death of Jesus, 
 though the only and necessary means of his 
 salvation, were an offence to him. But he 
 lived to glory in what he once could not bear 
 to hear of. Peter had received grace to love 
 the Lord Jesus, to follow him, to venture all, 
 and to forsake all for him : these first good 
 dispositions were of God, and they led to 
 further advances. So it is still. By nature, 
 self rules in the heart : when this idol is 
 brought low, and we are truly willing to be 
 the Lord's, and to apply to him for strength 
 and direction, that we may serve him, the 
 good work is begun ; for it is a truth that up- 
 holds universally and without exception, a 
 man can receive nothing except it be given 
 him from heaven. The Lord first finds us 
 
166 LETTERS TO THE 
 
 when we are thinking of something else, 
 Isaiah Ixv. 1; and then we begin to seek him 
 in good earnest, and he has promised to be 
 found of us. People may, by industry and 
 natural abilities, make themselves masters of 
 the external evidences of Christianity, and 
 have much to say for and against different 
 schemes and systems of sentiments; but all 
 this while the heart remains untouched. 
 True religion is not a science of the head, so 
 much as an inward and heartfelt perception, 
 which casts down imaginations, and every 
 thought that exalteth itself in the mind, and 
 brings every thought into a sweet and wil- 
 ling subjection to Christ by faith. Here the 
 learned have no real advantage above the 
 ignorant; both see when the eyes of the un- 
 derstanding are enlightened: till then both 
 are equally blind. And the first lesson in the 
 school of Christ is to become a little child, 
 sitting simply at his feet, that we may be 
 made wise unto salvation. 
 
 I was not only prevented beginning my 
 letter so soon as I wished, but have been un- 
 usally interrupted since I began it. Often, 
 as soon as I could well take the pen in hand, 
 I have been called away to attend company 
 and intervening business. Though I per- 
 suade myself, after what I have formerly 
 said, you will put a favourable construction 
 upon my delay, yet it has given me some 
 pain. I set a great value upon your offer of 
 friendship, which, I trust, will not be inter- 
 
REV. DR. SCOTT. 167 
 
 rupted on either side by the freedom with 
 which we mutually express our difference of 
 sentiments, when we are constrained to differ. 
 You please me with entrusting me with the 
 first rough draught of your thoughts; and 
 you may easily perceive by my manner of 
 writing, that I place equal confidence in 
 your candour. I shall be glad to exchange 
 letters as often as it suits us, without con- 
 straint, ceremony, or apology; and may he 
 who is always present with our hearts make 
 our correspondence useful. I pray God to be 
 your sun and shield, your light and strength, 
 to guide you with his eye, to comfort you 
 with his gracious presence in your own soul, 
 and to make you a happy instrument of com- 
 forting many. — I am, &c. 
 
 LETTER II. 
 
 July 14, 1775. 
 My dear Friend, — I gladly adopt your ad- 
 dress, and can assure you that the interchange 
 of every letter unites my heart more closely 
 to you. I am glad to find that your views 
 of articles and creeds are not likely to hinder 
 you from going forward in your present situ- 
 ation; and if, without contracting your use- 
 fulness, they only prove a bar to your prefer- 
 ment, I am sure it will be no grief of mind to 
 you at the hour of death, or the day of judg- 
 ment, that you were enabled to follow the 
 
168 LETTERS TO THE 
 
 dictates of conscience, in opposition to all the 
 pleas of custom or interest. Since, there- 
 fore, I have no desire of shaking your re- 
 solves, may we not drop this subject entirely. 
 The propriety of our national establishment, 
 or of any other, is what I have not much to do 
 with ; I found it as it is, nor have I influence 
 to alter it were I willing. The question in 
 which I was concerned was simply, Whether 
 I. things being as they were, could submit to 
 it, so as conscientiously to take a designation 
 to the ministry under it? I thought I could; 
 I accordingly did, and I am thankful that I 
 never have seen cause to repent it. 
 
 You seem gently to charge me with a want 
 of candour in what I observed or apprehend- 
 ed concerning the gentlemen of the Feathers 
 tavern. If I mistake not, (for I retain no 
 copies of my letters,) I expressed myself with 
 a double restriction, by first saying the lead- 
 ers of that society, and then adding, or some 
 of them at least. I apprehend your candour 
 will hardly lead you to suppose, that there 
 are none amongst them who would pull down 
 the whole fabric, (that is, I mean so far as it 
 crosses the Socinian scheme,) if it was left to 
 their choice. I apprehend I may, without 
 the least breach of candour, suppose that the 
 exception swhich Mr. Lindsay has made to 
 the Liturgy, are not peculiar to himself. It 
 seems plain in his case, and from his own 
 writings, that the mere removal of subscrip- 
 tions, which is the immediate and ostensible 
 
REV. DR. SCOTT. 169 
 
 object of the clerical petition, could not have 
 satisfied him; and it is past a doubt with me, 
 that there are others of the clergy like-mind- 
 ed with him. Indeed I could wish to be 
 thought candid by you; though I confess, I 
 am not a friend to that luke-warmness and 
 indifference for truth, which bears the name 
 of candour among many in the present day. 
 I desire to maintain a spirit of candour and 
 benevolence to all men, to wish them well, 
 to do them every good office in my power, 
 and to commend what appears to me com- 
 mendable in a Socinian, as readily as in a 
 Calvinist. But with some people I can only 
 go usque ad aras. I must judge of princi- 
 ples by the word of God, and of the tree by 
 its fruit. I meddle with no man's final state; 
 because I know that he who is exalted to 
 give repentance and remission of sins, can do 
 it whenever, and to whomsoever he is pleas- 
 ed: Yet I firmly believe, and I make no scru- 
 ple of proclaiming it, that swearers, drunk- 
 ards, adulterers, continuing such, cannot 
 inherit the kingdom of God: and I look with 
 no less compassion upon some persons, whose 
 characters in common life may be respecta- 
 ble, when I see them unhappily blinded by 
 their own wisdom; and while they account 
 themselves and are accounted by many 
 others, master-builders in Zion, rejecting 
 the only foundation upon which a sinner's 
 hope can be safely built. 
 
 I am far from thinking the Socinians all 
 15 
 
170 LETTERS TO THE 
 
 hypocrites, but I think they are all in a most 
 dangerous error; nor do their principles ex- 
 hibit to my view a whit more of the genuine 
 fruits of Christianity than Deism itself. You 
 say, " If they be sincere, and fail not for want 
 of diligence in searching, I cannot help think- 
 ing, that God will not condemn them for an 
 inevitable defect in their understandings." 
 Indeed, my friend, I have such a low opinion 
 of man in his depraved state, that I believe 
 no one has real sincerity in religious matters 
 till God bestows it; and when he makes a 
 person sincere in his desires after truth, he 
 will assuredly guide him to the possession of 
 it in due time, as our Lord speaks, John vi. 
 44, 45. To suppose that any persons can 
 sincerely seek the way of salvation, and yet 
 miss it through an inevitable defect of their 
 understandings, would contradict the plain 
 promises of the gospel, such as, Matth. vii. 
 7, 8. John vii. 16, 17.; but to suppose that 
 nothing is necessary to be known, which 
 some people who possess sincerity cannot 
 receive, would be in effect to make the Scrip- 
 ture a nose of wax, and open a wide door for 
 scepticism. I am not a judge of the heart; 
 but I may be sure, that whoever makes the 
 foundation-stone a rock of offence, cannot be 
 sincere in his inquiries. He may study the 
 Scripture accurately, but he brings his own 
 preconceived sentiments with him, and in- 
 stead of submitting them to the touchstone of 
 truth, he makes them a rule by which he in- 
 
REV. DR. SCOTT. 171 
 
 terprets. That they who lean to their OAvn 
 understandings should stumble and miscarry, 
 I cannot wonder; for the same God who has 
 promised to fill the hungry with good things, 
 has threatened to send the rich empty away. 
 So Matth. xi. 25. It is not through defect of 
 understanding, but a want of simplicity and 
 humility, that so many stumble like the blind 
 at noon-day, and can see nothing of those 
 great truths which are written in the gospel 
 as with a sun-beam. 
 
 You wish me to explain myself concerning 
 the doctrine of the Trinity. I will try, yet I 
 know I cannot, any further than as he who 
 taught me shall be pleased to bear witness in 
 your heart to what I say. My first principle 
 in religion is what the Scripture teaches me 
 of the utter depravity of human nature, in 
 connection with the spirituality and sanction 
 of the law of God. I believe we are by na- 
 ture sinners, by practice universally trans- 
 gressors; that we are dead in trespasses and 
 sins; and that the bent of our natural spirit 
 is enmity against the holiness, government, 
 and grace of God. Upon this ground, I see, 
 feel, and acknowledge the necessity of such 
 a salvation as the gospel proposes, which, at 
 the same time that it precludes boasting, and 
 stains the pride of all human glory, affords 
 encouragement to those who may be thought, 
 or who may think themselves, the weakest 
 or the vilest of mankind. I believe, that 
 whatever notions a person may take up from 
 
172 LETTERS TO THE 
 
 education or system, no one ever did, or ever 
 will, feel himself and own himself to be such 
 a lost, miserable, hateful sinner, unless he be 
 powerfully and supernaturally convinced by 
 the spirit of God. — There is, when God 
 pleases, a certain light thrown into the soul, 
 which differs not merely in degree, but in 
 kind, toto genere^ from any thing that can 
 be effected or produced by moral persuasion 
 or argument. But (to take in another of 
 your queries) the Holy Spirit teaches or re- 
 veals no new truths, either of doctrine or pre- 
 cept, but only enables us to understand what 
 is already revealed in the Scripture. Here a 
 change takes place, the person that was spi- 
 ritually blind begins to see. The sinner's 
 character, as described in the word of God, 
 he finds to be a description of himself; that 
 he is afar off, a stranger, a rebel; that he has 
 hitherto lived in vain. Now he begins to 
 see the necessity of an atonement, an advo- 
 cate, a shepherd, a comforter: he can no 
 more trust to his own wisdom, strength, and 
 goodness; but, accounting all his former gain 
 but loss, for the excellency of the knowledge 
 of Christ, he renounces every other refuge, 
 and ventures his all upon the person, work, 
 and promise of the Redeemer, In this way, 
 I say, he will find the doctrine of the Trinity 
 not only a proposition, but a principle; that 
 is, from his own wants and situation he will 
 have an abiding conviction, that the Son and 
 Holy Spirit are God, and must be possessed 
 
REV. DR. SCOTT. 173 
 
 of the attributes and powers of Deity, to sup- 
 port the offices the Scriptures assign them, 
 and to deserve the confidence and worship 
 the Scriptures require to be placed in them, 
 and paid to them. Without this awakened 
 state of mind, a divine, reputed orthodox, 
 will blunder wretchedly even in defending 
 his own opinions. I have seen laboured de- 
 fences of the Trinity, which have given me 
 not much more satisfaction than I should 
 probably receive from a dissertation upon 
 the rainbow composed by a man blind from 
 his birth. In effect, the knowledge of God 
 cannot be attained by studious discussion on 
 our parts; it must be by a revelation on his 
 part, Matt. xi. 27, and xvi. 17; a revelation, 
 not objectively of new truth, but subjectively 
 of new light in us. Then he that runs may 
 read. Perhaps you may not quite under- 
 stand my meaning, or not accede to my sen- 
 timent at present; I have little doubt, how- 
 ever, but the time is coming when you will. 
 I believe the Lord God has given you that 
 sincerity, which he never disappoints. 
 
 Far be it from me to arrogate infallibility 
 to myself, or to any writer or preacher; yet, 
 blessed be God, I am not left to float up and 
 down the uncertain tide of opinion, in those 
 points wherein the peace of my soul is nearly 
 concerned. I know, yea I infallibly know 
 whom I have believed. I am under no more 
 doubt about the way of salvation than of the 
 way to London. I cannot be deceived, be- 
 
174 LETTERS TO THE 
 
 cause the word of God cannot deceive me. 
 It is impossible, however, for me to give you 
 or any person full satisfaction concerning my 
 evidence, because it is of an experimental 
 nature. Rev. ii. 17. In general, it arises 
 from the views I have received of the power, 
 compassion, and grace of Jesus, and a con- 
 sciousness, that I, from a conviction of my sin 
 and misery, have fled to him for refuge, in- 
 trusted and devoted myself and my all to 
 him. Since my mind has been enlightened, 
 every thing within me, and every thing 
 around me, confirms and explains to me 
 what I read in Scripture; and though I have 
 reason enough to distrust my own judgment 
 every hour, yet I have no reason to question 
 the great essentials, which the Lord himself 
 hath taught me. 
 
 Besides a long letter, I send you a great 
 book. A part of it (for I do not ask you to 
 read the whole) may perhaps explain my 
 meaning better than I have leisure to do my- 
 self. I set a high value upon this book of 
 Mr. Halyburton's; so that unless I could re- 
 place it with another, I know not if I would 
 part with it for its weight in gold. The first 
 and longest treatise is in my judgment, a 
 master-piece; but I would chiefly wish you 
 to peruse the Essay concerning faith, towards 
 the close of the book. I need not beg you 
 to read it carefully, and to read it all. The 
 importance of the subject, its immediate con- 
 nection with your inquiries, and the accuracy 
 
EEV. DR. SCOTT, 175 
 
 of the reasoning, will render the motive of 
 my request unnecessary. I cannot style him 
 a very elegant writer; and being a Scots- 
 man, he abounds with the Scottish idiom. — 
 But you will prefer truth to ornament. I 
 long to hear your opinion of it. It seems to 
 me so adapted to some things that have pass- 
 ed between us as if written on purpose. 
 
 The Inquiry concerning Regeneration and 
 Justification, which stands last in the book, 
 I do not desire or even wish you to read; but 
 if you should, and then think that you have 
 read a speculation more curious than useful, 
 I shall not contradict you. I think it must 
 appear to you in that light; but it was bound 
 up with the rest, and therefore could not stay 
 behind: but I hope the Essay on Faith will 
 please you. 
 
 I take great pleasure in your correspond- 
 ence, still more in the thought of your friend- 
 ship, which I hope to cultivate to the utmost, 
 and to approve myself sincerely and affec- 
 tionately yours. 
 
 LETTER III. 
 
 August 11, 1775. 
 My Dear Friend: — Next week I go to 
 London, where I purpose, if nothing un- 
 foreseen prevent, to stay a month. Many 
 things which must necessarily be attended 
 to before my departure, abridge me of that 
 
176 LETTERS TO THE 
 
 leisure which I could wish to employ in an- 
 swering your last. However, I will spare 
 you what I can. I thank you for yours. — 
 Your objections neither displease nor weary 
 me. While truth is the object of your in- 
 quiry, the more freedom you use with me 
 the better. Nor do they surprise me; for I 
 have formerly made the like objections my- 
 self. I have stood upon your ground, and I 
 continue to hope you will one day stand upon 
 mine. As I have told you more than once, I 
 do not mean to dictate to you, or to wish you 
 to receive any thing upon my ipse dixit; but, 
 in the simplicity of friendship, I will give you 
 my thoughts from time to time upon the 
 points you propose, and leave the event to 
 the divine blessing. 
 
 I am glad you do not account the Soci- 
 nians master-builders. However, they es- 
 teem themselves so, and are so esteemed, not 
 only by a few, (as you think,) but by many. 
 I fear Socinianism spreads rapidly amongst 
 us, and bids fair to be the prevailing scheme 
 in this land, especially with those who pro- 
 fess to be the thinking part. The term Ar- 
 minian, as at present applied, is very indis- 
 criminate, and takes in a great variety of 
 persons and sentiments, amongst whom, I 
 believe, there are many who hold the fun- 
 damental truths of the Gospel, and live a life 
 of faith in the Son of God. I am far from 
 supposing that God will guide every sincere 
 person exactly to adopt all my sentiments. — 
 
REV. DR. SCOTT. 
 
 177 
 
 But there are some sentiments which I be- 
 lieve essential to the very state and charac- 
 ter of a true Christian. And these make 
 him a Christian, not merely by being his ac- 
 knowledged sentiments, but by a certain pe- 
 culiar manner in which he possesses them. 
 There is a certain important change takes 
 place in the heart, by the operation of the 
 Spirit of God, before the soundest and most 
 orthodox sentiments can have their proper 
 influence upon us. This work, or change, 
 the Scripture describes by various names, 
 each of which is designed to teach us, the 
 marvellous efl'ects it produces, and the al- 
 mighty power by which it is produced. It 
 is sometimes called a new birth, John iii. 3; 
 sometimes a new creature, or a new creation, 
 as 2 Cor. v. 17; sometimes the causing light 
 to shine out of darkness, 2 Cor. iv. 6; some- 
 times the opening the eyes of the bUnd, Acts 
 XX vi. 18; sometimes the raising the dead to 
 life, Ephes. ii. 5. Till a person has expe- 
 rienced this change, he will be at a loss to 
 form a right conception of it: but it means, 
 not being proselyted to an opinion, but re- 
 ceiving a principle of divine life and light in 
 the soul. And till this is received, the things 
 of God, the truths of the Gospel cannot be 
 rightly discerned or understood by the utmost 
 powers of fallen man, who, with all his wis- 
 dom, reason, and talents, is still but what the 
 apostle calls the natural man, till the power 
 of God visits his heart, 1 Cor. ii. 14. This 
 
178 LETTERS TO THE 
 
 work is sometimes wrought suddenly, as in 
 the case of Lydia, Acts xvi. 14; at other 
 times very gradually. A person who before 
 was a stranger even to the form of godliness, 
 or at best, content with a mere form, finds 
 new thoughts arising in his mind, feels some 
 concern about his sins, some desire to please 
 God, some suspicions that all is not right. — 
 He examines his views of religion, hopes the 
 best of them, and yet cannot rest satisfied 
 in them. To-day perhaps, he thinks himself 
 fixed; to-morrow he will be all uncertainty. 
 He inquires of others; weighs, measures, 
 considers, meets with sentiments which he 
 had not attended to; thinks them plausible; 
 but is presently shocked with objections or 
 supposed consequences, which he finds him- 
 self unable to remove. As he goes on in his 
 inquiry, his difficulties increase. New doubts 
 arise in his mind; even the Scriptures per- 
 plex him, and appear to assert contrary 
 things. He would sound the depths of truth 
 by the plummet of his reason ; but he finds 
 his line is too short. Yet even now the man 
 is under a guidance, which will at length 
 lead him right. The importance of the sub- 
 ject takes up his thoughts, and takes oif the 
 relish he once had for the things of the 
 world. He reads, he prays, he strives, he 
 resolves; sometimes inward embarrassments 
 and outward temptations bring him to his 
 wit's end. He almost wishes to stand where 
 he is, and inquire no more; but he cannot 
 
REV. DR. SCOTT. 179 
 
 Stop. At length he begins to feel the inward 
 depravity, which he had before owned as an 
 opinion; a sense of sin and guilt cut him out 
 new work. Here reasoning will stand him in 
 no stead. This is a painful change of mind; 
 but it prepares the way for a blessing. It 
 silences some objections better than a thou- 
 sand arguments, it cuts the comb of his own 
 wisdom and attainments: it makes him wea- 
 ry of working for life, and teaches him in 
 God's due time the meaning of that text, 
 " To him that worketh not, but believeth in 
 him who justifieth the ungodly, his faith is 
 counted for righteousness.'' Then he learns 
 that Scriptural faith is a very different thing 
 from a rational assent to the Gospel,^that 
 it is the immediate gift of God; (Ephes. ii. 8 ;) 
 the operation of God; (Col. ii. 12;) that Christ 
 is not only the object, but the author and 
 finisher of faith, (Heb. xii. 2;) and that faith 
 is not so properly a part of that obedience 
 we owe to God, as an inestimable benefit we 
 receive from him, for Christ's sake, (Phil. i. 
 29,) which is the mediumof our justification, 
 (Rom. V. 1,) and the principle by which we 
 are united to Christ, as the branch to the 
 vine, (John xvii. 21.) I am well aware of 
 the pains taken to put a different sense upon 
 these and other seemingly mysterious pas- 
 sages of Scripture ; but thus far we speak that 
 which we know, and testify that which we 
 have seen. I have described a path in which 
 
180 LETTERS TO THE 
 
 I have known many led, and in which I have 
 walked myself. 
 
 The Gospel, my dear Sir, is a salvation 
 appointed for those who are ready to perish, 
 and is not designed to put them in a way to 
 save themselves by their own works. It 
 speaks to us as condemned already, and calls 
 upon us to believe in a crucified Saviour, 
 that we may receive redemption through his 
 blood, even the forgiveness of our sins. And 
 the Spirit of God, by the Gospel, first con- 
 vinces us of unbelief, sin, and misery; and 
 then, by revealing the things of Jesus to our 
 minds, enables us, as helpless sinners, to 
 come to Christ, to receive him, to behold him, 
 or in other words, to believe in him, and ex- 
 pect pardon, life, and grace from him; re- 
 nouncing every hope and aim in which we 
 once rested, and accounting all things loss 
 and dung for the excellency of the know- 
 ledge of Christ, John vi. 35; Isa. xlv. 22, with 
 John vi. 40; Col. ii. 6. In some of Omicron's 
 letters you will find my thoughts more at 
 large upon these subjects than I have now 
 time to write them. For a further illustra- 
 tion, I refer you to the MSS. sent herewith. 
 The first part, written in short hand, does 
 not so immediately concern our present point 
 as the second, which you may read without 
 a key. It relates to a matter of indisputable 
 fact, concerning a person with whom, as you 
 will perceive, I was well acquainted. You 
 
REV. DE. SCOTT. 181 
 
 may depend upon the truth of every tittle. 
 I entrust it to you in the confidence of friend- 
 ship, and beg that it may not go out of your 
 hands, and that, when you have perused it, 
 you would return it, sealed up, by a safe con- 
 veyance, to my house. You will see in it, 
 the sentiments of a man of great learning, 
 sound reasoning, an amiable and irreproach- 
 able character, and how little he accounted 
 of all these advantages, when the Lord was 
 pleased to enlighten his mind. 
 
 Though we have not exactly the same 
 view of human depravity, yet as we both 
 agree to take our measure of it from the 
 word of God, I trust we shall not always dif- 
 fer about it. Adam was created in the image 
 of God, in righteousness and true holiness, 
 Ephes. iv. 24. This moral image, I believe, 
 was totally lost by sin. In that sense he died 
 the day, the moment, he ate the forbidden 
 fruit. God was no longer his joy and de- 
 light; he was averse from the thoughts of his 
 presence, and would, if possible, have hid 
 himself from him. His natural powers, 
 though doubtless impaired, were not de- 
 stroyed. Man, by nature, is still capable of 
 great things. His understanding, reason, 
 memory, imagination, &c. sufficiently pro- 
 claim that the hand that made him is divine. 
 He is, as Milton says of Beelzebub, majestic, 
 though in ruins. He can reason, invent, and, 
 by application, attain a considerable know- 
 ledge in natural things. The exertions of 
 
182 LETTERS TO THE 
 
 human genius, as specified in the characters 
 of some philosophers, poets, orators, &c. are 
 wonderful. But man cannot know, love, trust, 
 or serve his Maker, unless he be renewed in 
 the spirit of his mind. God has preserved 
 in him likewise some feehngs of benevolence, 
 pity, some sense of natural justice and truth, 
 &c. without which there could be no society: 
 but these, I apprehend, are little more than 
 instincts, JDy which the world is kept in some 
 small degree of order; but, being under the 
 direction of pride and self, do not deserve the 
 name of virtue and goodness; because the 
 exercise of them does not spring from a prin- 
 ciple of love to God, nor is directed to his 
 glory, or regulated by the rule of his word, 
 till a principle of grace is superadded. You 
 think I will not say, " that God judicially, in 
 punishment of one man's sin, added these 
 corruptions to all his posterity." Let us 
 suppose, that the punishment annexed to eat- 
 ing the forbidden fruit had been the loss of 
 Adam's rational powers, and that he should 
 be degraded to the state and capacity of a 
 brute. In this condition, had he begotten 
 children, after his fall, in his own likeness, 
 his nature being previously changed, they 
 must have been of course brutes like himself; 
 for he could not convey to them those origi- 
 nal powers which he had lost. Will this 
 illustrate my meaning ? Sin did not deprive 
 him of rationality, but of spirituality. His 
 nature became earthly, sensual, yea devilish; 
 
REV. DR. SCOTT. 183 
 
 and this fallen nature, this carnal mind, 
 which is enmity against God, which is not 
 subject to his law, neither indeed can be, 
 (Rom. viii. 7,) we universally derive from 
 him. Look upon children: they presently 
 show themselves averse from good, but ex- 
 ceedingly propense to evil. This they can 
 learn even without a master; but ten thou- 
 sand instructers and instructions cannot in- 
 stil good into them, so as to teach them to 
 love their Creator, unless a divine power co- 
 operates. Just as it is with the earth, which 
 produces weeds spontaneously; but if you 
 see a cabbage, or an apple-tree, you are sure 
 it was planted or sown there, and did not 
 spring from the soil. I know many hard 
 questions may be started upon this subject; 
 but the Lord, in due time, will clear his own 
 cause, and vindicate his own ways. I leave 
 all difficulties with him. It is sufficient for 
 me that Scripture asserts, and experience 
 proves, that it is thus in fact, Rom. iii. 9 — 21; 
 Job. xiv. 4. Thus we have not only forfeited 
 our happiness by transgression, but are, by 
 our depravity, incapable of it, and have no 
 more desire or taste for such a state as the 
 Scriptures describe Heaven to be, than a man 
 born deaf can have for a concert of music. 
 And therefore our Lord declares, that except 
 a man be born again, he not only shall not, 
 but cannot, see the kingdom of God. Hence 
 a twofold necessity of a Saviour — his blood 
 for the pardon of our sins, and his life, spirit, 
 
184 LETTERS TO THE 
 
 and grace, to quicken our souls, and form us 
 anew for himself, that we may feel his love, 
 and show forth his praise. 
 
 St. Paul, before his conversion, was not 
 sincere, in the sense I hope you to be. He 
 thought himself in the right, without doubt, 
 as many have done when they killed God's 
 servants, John xvi. 2. He was blindly and 
 obstinately zealous. I think he did not enter 
 into the merits of the cause, or inquire into 
 facts with that attention which sincerity 
 would have put him upon. You think that 
 his sincerity and zeal were the very things 
 that made him a chosen instrument; he him- 
 self speaks of them as the very things that 
 made himpeculiarly unworthy of that honour, 
 (1 Cor. XV. 9;) and he tells us, that he was 
 set forth as a pattern of the Lord's long-suf- 
 fering and mercy, that the very chief of sin- 
 ners might be encouraged, 1 Tim. i. 15, 16. 
 Had he been sincerely desirous to know 
 whether Jesus was the Messiah, there was 
 enough in his character, doctrines, miracles, 
 and the prophecies concerning him, to have 
 cleared up the point; but he took it for grant- 
 ed he was right in his opinion, and hurried 
 blindly on, and was, as he said himself, ex- 
 ceedingly mad against them. Such a kind 
 of sincerity is common enough. People be- 
 lieve themselves right, and therefore treat 
 others with scorn or rage, appeal to the 
 Scriptures, but first lay down their own pre- 
 conceived sentiments for truths, and then 
 
REV. DR. SCOTT. 185 
 
 examine what Scriptures they can find to 
 countenance them. Surely a person's think- 
 ing himself right, will not give a sanction to 
 all that he does under that persuasion. 
 
 Ignorance and obstinacy are in themselves 
 sinful, and no plea of sincerity will exempt 
 from the danger of being under their influ- 
 ence, Isa. xxvii. 11, Luke vi. 39. It appears 
 to me, that, though you will not follow any 
 man implicitly, you are desirous of discover- 
 ing your mistakes, supposing you are mis- 
 taken in any point of importance. You read 
 and examine the word of God, not to find 
 arms wherewith to defend your sentiments at 
 all events, but to know whether they are de- 
 fensible or not. You pray for God's light 
 and teaching, and in this search you are wil- 
 ling to risk what men are commonly much 
 afraid of hazarding — character, interest, pre- 
 ferment, favour, &c. A sincerity of this kind 
 I too seldom meet with: when I do, I ac- 
 count it a token for good, and am ready to 
 say, " No man can do this, except God be 
 with him." However, sincerity is not con- 
 version; but I believe it is always a fore- 
 runner of it. 
 
 I would not be uncharitable and censori- 
 ous, hasty and peremptory in judging my 
 fellow-creatures. But if I acknowledge the 
 word of God, I cannot avoid forming ray 
 judgment upon it. It is true, I cannot look 
 into people's hearts; but hearts and princi- 
 ples are delineated to my hand in the Scrip- 
 16 
 
186 LETTERS TO THE 
 
 tiires. I read, that no murderer has eternal 
 life in him: I read likewise, "if any man 
 love not the Lord Jesus Christ, let him be 
 anathema;" and therefore I conclude, that 
 there are speculative errors, as heinous in 
 their guilt, as destructive in their effects, as 
 murder; and that the most moral, regular 
 man, as to social life, if he loves not the Lord 
 Jesus Christ, is in the sight of God, the judge 
 of all, as displeasing as a murderer. It has 
 pleased God for the peace and support of 
 society, to put a black mark upon those sins 
 which affect the peace and welfare of our 
 neighbour, such as adultery and murder. 
 But undoubtedly the sins committed imme- 
 diately against himself must be more heinous 
 than any which offend our fellow-creatures. 
 The second commandment, (Matt. xxii. 39,) 
 is like the first; but it depends upon it, and 
 is therefore inferior to it. Men ordinarily 
 judge otherwise. To live regardless of God 
 and the gospel is looked upon as a mere 
 pecadillo in comparison with offences against 
 society. But sooner or later it will appear 
 otherwise to all. A parcel of robbers may 
 pique themselves upon the justice, honour, 
 and truth they observe towards one another; 
 but, because they set up a petty interest, 
 which is inconsistent with the public good, 
 they are deservedly accounted villains, and 
 treated as such, notwithstanding their petty 
 morality among themselves. Now such a 
 company of robbers bears a much greater 
 
REV. DR. SCOTT. 187 
 
 proportion to a whole nation, than a nation, 
 or all the nations of the earth, bears to the 
 great God. Our dependence upon him is ab- 
 solute, our obligations to him infinite. In 
 vain shall men plead their moral discharge 
 of relative duties to each other, if they fail 
 in the unspeakably greater relation under 
 which they stand to God; and therefore, 
 when I see people living without God in the 
 world, as all do till they are converted, I 
 cannot but judge them in a dangerous state: 
 — not because I take pleasure in censuring, 
 or think myself authorised to pass sentence 
 upon my fellow creatures, but because the 
 Scriptures decide expressly on the case, and 
 I am bound to take my sentiments from 
 thence. 
 
 The jailor was certainly a Christian when 
 baptized, as you observe. He trembled; he 
 cried out, "What must I do to be saved.'*" 
 Paul did not bid him amend his Hfe, but be- 
 lieve in the Lord Jesus. He believed and re- 
 joiced. But the Lord blessed the apostle's 
 words, to produce in him that saving faith 
 which filled him with joy and peace. It was, 
 as I observed before, something more than 
 an assent to the proposition, that Jesus is the 
 Christ; a resting in him for forgiveness and 
 acceptance, and a cleaving to him in love. 
 No other faith will purify the heart, work by 
 love, and overcome the world. 
 
 I need not have pleaded want of leisure 
 as an excuse for a short letter, for I have 
 
188 LETTERS TO THE 
 
 written a long one. I feel myself much in- 
 terested in your concerns; and your unex- 
 pected frank application to me (though you 
 well know the light in which I appear to 
 some people) I consider as a providential 
 call which binds nie to your service. I hope 
 our correspondence will be productive of 
 happy effects, and that we shall both one 
 day rejoice in it. — I am, &c. 
 
 LETTER IV. 
 
 September 6, 1775. 
 My dear Friend, — I begin to fear I shall 
 fall under a suspicion of unkindness and for- 
 getfulness towards you, — and therefore lam 
 willing to write a line by way of prevention, 
 though I have not leisure to attempt any 
 thing like an answer t<o the letter you put 
 into my hand the evening before I left — ; 
 I must therefore content myself with a tender 
 of affection and respect, and an inquiry after 
 your welfare. 
 
 Your letter will give me an opportunity of 
 saying something further when time shall ad- 
 mit; but an endeavour to answer all the ob- 
 jections that may be started between us, in 
 away of reasoning, would require a volume, 
 and would likewise interfere with the lead- 
 ing principle upon which my hope of giving 
 you satisfaction in due time is grounded. — 
 You seem to expect that / should remove 
 
REV. DR. SCOTT. 189 
 
 your difficulties; but it is my part only to 
 throw in a word occasionally, as a witness 
 of what the Lord has been pleased to teach 
 me from the Scriptures, and to wait for the 
 rest, till he (who alone is able) shall be pleas- 
 ed to communicate the same views to you: 
 For till we see and judge by the same medi- 
 um, and are agreed in the fundamental point, 
 that faith is not the effect of reasoning, but a 
 special gift of God, which he bestows when 
 and to whom he pleases, it will not be possi- 
 ble for me to convince you by dint of argu- 
 ment. I believe, as I have observed before, 
 that he has already given you a desire to 
 know his v/ill; and therefore I trust he will 
 not disappoint your search. At present I 
 think you want one thing, which it is not in 
 my power to impart; I mean such a sense of 
 the depravity of human nature, and the state 
 of all mankind considered as sinners, as may 
 make you feel the utter impossibility of at- 
 taining to the peace and hope of the Gospel 
 in any other way, than by renouncing all 
 hope of succeeding by any endeavours of 
 your own, further than by humbly waiting 
 at the throne of grace, for power to cast your- 
 self, without terms and conditions, upon him 
 who is able to save to the uttermost. We 
 must feel ourselves sick, before we can duly 
 prize the great physician, and feel a sentence 
 of death in ourselves, before we can effectu- 
 ally trust in God who raiseth the dead. 
 I have not brought your sermons with me; 
 
190 LETTERS TO THE 
 
 for I thought I should not have time to read 
 them attentively, while in this hurrying place. 
 I purpose to consider them with care, and to 
 give you my thoughts with frankness, when 
 I return. However, if they are upon the 
 plan intimated in your letter, I will venture 
 to say one thing beforehand, that they will 
 not answer your desired end. 1 am persuad- 
 ed you wish to be useful — to reclaim sinners 
 from their evil ways, to inspire them with a 
 love to God; and a sincere aim to walk in 
 obedience to his will. May I not venture to 
 appeal to yourself, that you meet with little 
 success; that the people to whom you preach, 
 though they perhaps give you a patient hear- 
 ing, yet remain as they were, unchanged and 
 unholy? It must be so; — there is but one sort 
 of preaching which God blesses to these pur- 
 poses — that which makes all the world guilty 
 before God, and sets forth Jesus Christ, (as 
 the brazen serpent was proposed by Moses,) 
 that guilty and condemned sinners, by look- 
 ing to him, and believing on his name, may 
 be healed and saved. The most pressing 
 exhortations to repentance and amendment 
 of life, unless they are enforced in a certain 
 way, which only God can teach, will leave 
 our hearers much as they find them. When 
 we meet, or when I have leisure to write 
 from home, I will trouble you with my 
 thoughts more at large. Till then, permit 
 me to assure you of my sincere regard and 
 best wishes, and that I am, &c. 
 
REV. DR. SCOTT. 
 
 LETTER V. 
 
 191 
 
 October 21, 1775. 
 My dear Friend, — The calls and engage- 
 ments which I told you engrossed and anti- 
 cipated my time when I wrote last, have 
 continued without any intermission hitherto, 
 and I am still far behind-hand with my busi- 
 ness. I am willing to hope, that the case 
 has been much the same with you, and that 
 want of leisure has been the only cause of 
 my not having been pleasured with so much 
 as a note from you since my return from 
 London. 
 
 I am loath, for my own sake, to charge 
 your silence to any unwillingness of continu- 
 ing that intercourse which I have been, and 
 still find myself, desirous to improve on my 
 part. For though we are not agreed in our 
 views; yet, while our preliminary agreement 
 to allow mutual freedom, and to exercise mu- 
 tual candour, in expressing our sentiments, 
 subsists, we may, and I hope shall be glad to 
 hear from each other. It may seem to inti- 
 mate I have a better opinion of myself than 
 of you, that while I seem confident your 
 freedom will not offend me, I feel now and 
 then a fear, lest mine should prove displeas- 
 ing to you. But friendship is a little suspi- 
 cious when exercised with long silence, and 
 
192 LETTERS TO THE 
 
 a plain declaration of my sentiments has more 
 than once put amiable and respectable per- 
 sons to the full trial of their patience. 
 
 I now return your sermons: I thank you 
 for the perusal: I see much in them that I 
 approve, and nothing in them but what I for- 
 merly espoused. But in a course of years, a 
 considerable alteration has taken place in my 
 judgment and experience. I hope, yea, I 
 may boldly say, I am sure, not for the worse. 
 Then I was seeking, and now through mercy 
 I have found, the pearl of great price. It is 
 both the prayer and the hope of my heart, 
 that a day is coming when you shall make 
 the same acknowledgment. From your 
 Letters and Sermons, I am encouraged to 
 address you in our Lord's words, ^' Thou art 
 not far from the kingdom of God.'' 1 am 
 persuaded the views you have received, will 
 not suffer you to remain where you are. — 
 But fidelity obliges me (o add, "Yet one 
 thing thou lackest." "That one thing"! 
 trust the Lord will both show you, and be- 
 stow upon you, in his due time. You speak 
 somewhat of " atoning for disobedience by 
 repentance." Ah! my dear Sir, when we 
 are brought to estimate our disobedience, by 
 comparing it with such a sense of the ma- 
 jesty, holiness, and authority of God, and the 
 spirituality, extent, and sanction of his holy 
 law, as he, and he only, can impress upon 
 the heart of a sinner, we shall be convinced 
 
REV. DR. SCOTT. 
 
 193 
 
 that nothing but the blood of the Son of God 
 can atone for the smallest instance of disobe- 
 dience. 
 
 I intimated in my letter from London, one 
 defect of your scheme, which will probably 
 be the first to engage your notice. I am sure 
 you have a desire to be useful to the souls of 
 men, to be an instrument of reclaiming them 
 from that course of open wickedness, or life- 
 less formality, in which you see them en- 
 slaved: and, in a word, to prevail with them 
 to live soberly, righteously and godly, ac- 
 cording to the just and comprehensive sense 
 you have given of those words, in your Ser- 
 mon on Tit. ii. 11, 12. Now, inward expe- 
 rience, and a pretty extensive observation of 
 what passes abroad, have so perfectly con- 
 vinced me there is but one mode of preach- 
 ing which the Holy Spirit owns to the pro- 
 ducing of these effects, that I am not afraid to 
 pronounce confidently, you will not have the 
 desires of your heart gratified upon your 
 present plan: the people will give you a hear- 
 ing, and remain just as they are, till the Lord 
 leads you to speak to them as criminals con- 
 demned already, and whose first essential 
 step it is, to seek forgiveness by the blood of 
 Jesus, and a change of heart and state by his 
 grace, before they can bring forth any fruit 
 acceptable to God. 
 
 As I have little time for writing, and little 
 hope of succeeding in a way of argumenta- 
 tion, I have substituted, instead of a long 
 17 
 
194 LETTERS TO THE 
 
 letter, the heads of some sermons I preached 
 nine or ten years ago, on our Lord's dis- 
 course with Nicodemus. However, when I 
 have heard that you are well, and that you 
 are still disposed to correspond with me, I 
 shall be ready to give a more particular an- 
 swer to the subjects you pointed out to me in 
 the letter you favoured me with the day be- 
 fore I left London. I pray God to bless you 
 in all your ways, and beg you to believe, that 
 I am, with sincerity, &c. 
 
 LETTER YI. 
 
 October 28. 
 
 My dear Friend, — It never entered my 
 pericranium, that you expected I should fully 
 and directly answer your letter while I was 
 in London; and yet you reasonably might, 
 as you knew nothing of my engagements: 
 but indeed it was impracticable ; I could only 
 send you a hasty line, as a token that I re- 
 membered you. I informed you, when I 
 returned, that I was just going out again. 
 Since I came home the second time, I have 
 been engrossed by things that would adm.it 
 of no delay; and, at length, not having so 
 much as a note from you, I thought I would 
 wait till I heard further. But, from first to 
 last it was my intention, and I think, my 
 promise, to answer in the manner you pro- 
 posed as soon as I could. And even now I 
 must beg a little longer time. Believe me, 
 
EEV. DR. SCOTT. 195 
 
 that as the wise and good providence of God 
 brought us together, without any expecta- 
 tion of mine, I will do all in my power to 
 preserve the connexion, and particularly by 
 giving my thoughts on such questions as 
 you propose. And though to consider your 
 questions in the manner you wish, and to 
 point out the agreement of detached texts 
 (as they occur) with my views, seems, in 
 prospect, to require a volume rather than a 
 sheet, yet I am not discouraged; only I beg 
 you to make allowance for other things, and 
 to be assured, that before I had the pleasure 
 of corresponding with you, I had very little 
 spare time. Expect then the best satisfac- 
 tion I am able to give you, as soon as possi- 
 ble. To prepare the way, I will try hard for 
 a little leisure, to give you a few thoughts 
 upon yours, which came last night. 
 
 You complain that I have hitherto disap- 
 pointed your expectations. If you have pre- 
 served my first papers, I believe you will 
 find, that I apprized you this might probably 
 be the event, and certainly must, unless it 
 should please God to make what I should 
 write a means of giving you the same views 
 with myself. I only proposed, as a witness, 
 to bear a simple testimony to what I have 
 seen and known. So far as you believe me 
 sincere and unwilling to impose upon you, I 
 thought you might admit, there was perhaps 
 some weight in what I advanced, though for 
 the present, you could not see things in the 
 
196 LETTERS TO THE 
 
 same light. And if you allowed a possibility, 
 that my changing the sentiments which I 
 once held in common with yourself, might 
 be upon sufficient grounds, you would, as I 
 trust you do, wait upon the great Teacher 
 for his instruction; otherwise I did not ex- 
 pect to convince you, nor do I yet, only I am 
 glad to put myself in his hands as an instru- 
 ment. 
 
 You quite misunderstood what I spoke of 
 the light and influence of the Spirit of God. 
 He reveals to me no new truths, but has 
 only shown me the meaning of his own writ- 
 ten word; nor is this light a particular reve- 
 lation, it is common to all who are born 
 again. And thus, though you and I cannot 
 fully agree about it, yet I almost daily meet 
 with persons from the east, west, north, and 
 south, whom, though I never saw them be- 
 fore, 1 find we understand each other at 
 once. This (as you bid me be explicit) is 
 the one thing which 1 think you at present 
 lack. And I limited my expression, to one 
 thing, because it is our Lord's expression, 
 and because that one thing includes many. 
 As I said before,! cannot give it you; but 
 the Lord can: and from the desire he has 
 raised in your heart, I have a warm hope 
 that he will. You place the whole stress of 
 your inquiries upon reason: I am far from 
 discarding reason, when it is enlightened 
 and sanctified; but spiritual things must be 
 spiritually discerned, and can be received 
 
REV. DR. SCOTT. 197 
 
 and discerned no other way; for to our natu- 
 ral reason they are foohshness, 1 Cor. ii. 14, 
 15; Matth. xi. 25. This certain something 
 I can no more describe to those who have 
 not experienced it, than I could describe the 
 taste of a pine-apple to a person who had 
 never seen one. But Scriptural proofs 
 might be adduced in abundance, yet not so 
 as to give a solid conviction of it, till we 
 actually experience it. Thus it was with my 
 friend, whose case I sent you. When God 
 gave him the key, as he expressed it, then 
 the Scriptures were unlocked. His wishing 
 himself a deist sometime before, was not 
 from any libertine exceptions he made to the 
 precepts of the Gospel, but from the perplex- 
 ing embarrassments he had found, by endea- 
 vouring to understand the doctrines by dint 
 of reason, though reason in him was as strong 
 and penetrating as in most men I ever met 
 with. Upon your present plan, how can I 
 hope to satisfy you, though even St. Paul 
 asserts it, that the carnal mind is enmity 
 against God? You will readily agree with 
 me to the proposition as it stands in St. Paul's 
 words; but I think you will not so readily 
 assent to what I have no more doubt than of 
 my own existence, is the sense of it: That the 
 heart of man, of any man, every man, how- 
 ever apparently amiable in his outward con- 
 duct, however benevolent to his fellow crea- 
 tures, however abundant and zealous in his 
 devotions, is by nature enmity against God; 
 
198 LETTERS TO THE 
 
 not indeed against the idea he himself forms 
 of God, but against the character which God 
 has revealed of himself in the Scriptures. 
 Man is an enemy to the justice, sovereignty, 
 and law of God, and to the alone method of 
 salvation he has appointed in the Gospel by 
 faith only: by such a faith, as it is no more 
 in his power to contribute to the production 
 of in himself, than he can contribute to 
 raising the dead, or making a world. What- 
 ever is of the flesh is flesh, and can rise 
 no higher than its principles; but the Lord 
 could convince you of this by a glance of 
 thought. 
 
 But I must break ofl", for want both of room 
 and time. Let me remind you of our agree- 
 ment, to use and to allow the greatest free- 
 dom, and not to be offended with what is 
 meant well on either side. Something in 
 your last letter made me apprehensive you 
 were a little displeased with me. He that 
 knows my heart, knows that I wish you well 
 as my own soul. 
 
 The expression, of atoning for disobe- 
 dience by repentance, was in one of your 
 sermons. I considered it as unguarded; but 
 on my view of things, it were in a manner 
 impossible that I could use that expression, 
 though, perhaps, too often unguarded my- 
 self. — I am, &c. 
 
EEV. DR. SCOTT. 199 
 
 LETTER VII. 
 
 November 17, 1775. 
 My dear Friend: — At length I take np 
 your favour of August 14, with design to 
 give it a more explicit answer. My delay- 
 ing hitherto has been unavoidable; I am 
 sorry to have your patience put to so long a 
 trial, and should be more sorry, but that I 
 consider, that in my former papers, sermons, 
 Omicron's letters, &c. you already possess 
 the whole (in substance) of what I have to 
 offer. My present part is but actum agere, 
 to repeat what 1 have elsewhere expressed, 
 only with some variety and enlargement. 
 You yourself will state the situation of our 
 debate, when you say, "Nor in truth do you 
 offer any arguments to convince me, nor 
 does it seem very consistent on your grounds 
 so to do. And if this important change is to 
 be brought about by the intervenii.on of some 
 extraordinary impulse of the Holy Spirit, and 
 cannot be brought about without it; I do not 
 see any thing further that I have to do, than 
 to keep my mind as much unbiassed as I can, 
 and to wait and pray for it." I think my 
 letter from London was to the purport of 
 these your own words, though you seemed 
 dissatisfied with it. While we see through 
 a different medium, it will be easy for you 
 to answer every text I might adduce in sup- 
 port of my sentiments, as you have those I 
 
200 LETTERS TO THE 
 
 have already brought, "That you understand 
 them otherwise." In order to support my 
 sense of one text, I should perhaps quote and 
 argue from twenty more, and still "you 
 would understand them otherwise." The 
 life of man, yea of Methuselah, would hardly 
 suffice to prove, object, and defend, all that 
 might be alleged on both sides in this way; 
 and at last we should leave off as we began, 
 more fully confirmed in our own opinions, 
 unless the Lord, by his Holy Spirit, should 
 be pleased to show the person who main- 
 tained the wrong side of the argument where 
 his mistake lay. However, I mean to take 
 some notice of your queries as they offer 
 themselves. 
 
 The first which occurs is complicated. 
 The substance I think is, Whether such be- 
 lief and aims as you possess, will stand you 
 in no stead unless you likewise believe grace 
 irresistible, predestination absolute, faith in 
 supernatural impulses, &c.? You may have 
 observed, I have several times waived speak- 
 ing about predestination or election, not that 
 I am ashamed of the doctrine; because, if it 
 be indeed absurd, shocking, and unjust, the 
 blame will not deservedly fall upon me, for 
 I did not invent it, but upon the Scriptures, 
 where I am sure it is laid down in as plain 
 terms, as that God created the heavens and 
 the earth. I own I cannot but wonder, that 
 persons professing any reverence for the 
 Bible should so openly and strongly declare 
 
REV. DR. SCOTT. 201 
 
 their abhorrence of what the Bible so ex- 
 pressly teaches; namely, that there is a dis- 
 crimination of persons by the grace and good 
 pleasure of God, where by nature there is 
 no difference; and that all things respecting 
 the salvation of these persons is infallibly se- 
 cured by a divine predestination. 
 
 I do not offer this as a rational doctrine 
 though it be highly so to me; but it is Scrip- 
 tural, or else the Scriptures are a mere nose 
 of wax, and without a determinate meaning. 
 What ingenuity is needful to interpret many 
 passages in a sense more favourable to our 
 natural prejudices against God's sovereignty ! 
 Matt. xi. 25, 26, and xiii. 10 — 17; Mark xiii. 
 20.22; John xvii.passim; John x.26; Rom. 
 viii. 28 — 30, and ix. 13 — 24, and xi. 7; Eph. 
 i. 4, 5; 1 Pet. i. 2. Were I fond of dis- 
 puting, as I am not, I think I could put a 
 close reasoner hard to it, to maintain the 
 truth of Scripture-prophecies, or the belief 
 of a particular providence, unless he would 
 admit a divine predestination of causes and 
 events as the grounds of his arguments. How- 
 ever, as I said, I have chosen to waive the 
 point; because, however true and necessary 
 in itself, the knowledge and comprehension 
 of it is not necessary to the being of a true 
 Christian, though I can hardly conceive he 
 can be an established consistent believer 
 without it. This doctrine is not the turning 
 point between you and me; the nature of 
 justification, and the method of a sinner's ac- 
 
202 LETTERS TO THE 
 
 ceptance with God, are of much more imme- 
 diate importance; and therefore, if I am to 
 speak plainly, I must say, that I look upon 
 your present sentiments, attainments, and 
 advances, as you describe them, to constitute 
 that kind of gain the apostle speaks of, and 
 concerning which I hope you will one day 
 be of his mind, and be glad to account it all 
 loss, that you may win Christ, and be found 
 in him, " not having your own righteousness, 
 which is of the law, but the righteousness 
 which is of God by faith," Phil. iii. 4. 7—10. 
 For, as you tell me, you never remember a 
 time when you were not conscious before 
 God of great unworthiness, and intervals of 
 earnest endeavours to serve him, though not 
 with the same success, yet something in the 
 same way, as at present; this is but saying, 
 in other words, you never remember a time 
 when old things passed away, and all things 
 became new; and yet the apostle insists 
 much upon this, 2 Cor. iv. 6, and v. 17. The 
 convictions of natural conscience, and those 
 which are wrought in the heart by the Holy 
 Spirit, are different, not only in degree, but 
 in kind ; the light of a glow-worm and of the 
 sun do not more essentially differ. The for- 
 mer are partial and superficial, leave us in 
 possession of a supposed power of our own, 
 are pacified by some appearances of an out- 
 ward change, and make us no farther sensi- 
 ble of the necessity of a Saviour, than to 
 make our doings and duties (if I may so ex- 
 
REV. DR. SCOTT. 203 
 
 press myself) full weight, which perhaps 
 might otherwise be a little deficient when 
 brought to the balance of the sanctuary. 
 But truly spiritual convictions give us far 
 other views of sin; they lead us to a deep 
 and awful consideration of the root of our 
 total absolute depravity, and our utter apos- 
 tasy from God by which we are as incapable 
 of doing good, as a dead man is of perform- 
 ing the functions of life. They lead us to the 
 rule and standard, the strict, holy, inflexible 
 law of God, which reaches to the thoughts 
 and intents of the heart; requires perfect, 
 universal, persevering obedience ; denounces 
 a curse upon every failure, (Gal. iii. 10,) and 
 affords neither place nor strength for repent- 
 ance. Thus they sweep away every hope 
 and refuge we had before, and fix upon us 
 a sense of guilt and condemnation, from 
 which there is no relief, till we can look to 
 Jesus, as the wounded Israelites did to the 
 brazen serpent; which was not to give effi- 
 cacy to medicines, and plasters of their own 
 appHcation, but to heal them completely of 
 itself by looking at it. John iii. 14, 15, and 
 vi. 40; Isaiah xhii. 22. 
 
 You wish me to explain my distinction 
 between faith and rational assent ; and though 
 I know no two things in the world more 
 clearly distinct in themselves, or more ex- 
 pressly distinguished in Scripture, yet I fear 
 I may not easily make it appear to you. You 
 allow faith, in your sense, to be the gift of 
 
204 LETTERS TO THE 
 
 God; but in my sense, it is likewise wrought 
 by the operation of God, Col. ii. 12, " Buried 
 with him in baptism, wherein also ye are 
 risen with him through the faith of the ope- 
 ration of God, who hath raised him from the 
 dead." Ephes. i. 19, "And what is the ex- 
 ceeding greatness of his power to us-ward 
 who believe, according to the working of his 
 mighty power;" the same energy of the 
 power of his strength, by which the dead 
 body of Jesus was raised from the dead. Can 
 these strong expressions intend no more than 
 a rational assent, such as we give to a pro- 
 position in Euclid? I believe fallen reason 
 is, of itself, utterly incapable even of assent- 
 ing to the great truths of revelation; it may 
 assent to the terms in which they are pro- 
 posed, but it must put its own interpretation 
 upon them, or it would despise them. The 
 natural man can neither receive nor discern 
 the things of God; and if any one would be 
 wise, the apostle's first advice to him is, Let 
 him become a fool, that he may be wise; for 
 the wisdom of the world is foolishness with 
 God. 
 
 Indeed when the heart is changed, and the 
 mind enlightened, then reason is sanctified, 
 and if I may so say, baptized, renounces its 
 curious disquisitions, and is content humbly 
 to tread in the path of revelation. This is 
 one difference; assent may be the act of our 
 natural reason; faith is the effect of immedi- 
 ate almighty power. Another difference is, 
 
REV. DR. SCOTT. 205 
 
 faith is always efficacious, "it worketh by- 
 love;'' whereas assent is often given where 
 it has little or no influence upon the conduct. 
 Thus, for instance, every one will assent to 
 this truth, All men are mortal. Yet the great- 
 est part of mankind, though they readily as- 
 sent to the proposition, and it would be highly 
 irrational to do otherwise, live as they might 
 do if the reverse were true. But they who 
 have divine faith feel, as well as say, they are 
 pilgrims and sojourners upon earth. Again, 
 faith gives peace of conscience, access to God, 
 and a sure evidence and subsistence of things 
 not seen (Rom. v. 1,2; Heb. xi. 1;) whereas, 
 a calm dispassionate reasoner may be com- 
 pelled to assent to the external arguments in 
 fkvour of Christianity, and yet remain a total 
 stranger to that communion with God, that 
 spirit of adoption, that foretaste of glory, 
 which is the privilege and portion of believ- 
 ers. So hkewise faith overcomes the world, 
 which rational assent will not do. Witness 
 the lives and tempers of thousands, who yet 
 would be affronted, if their assent to the Gos- 
 pel should be questioned. To sum up all in 
 a word, "He that believes shall be saved." 
 But surely many who give a rational assent 
 to the Gospel live and die in those sins which 
 exclude from the kingdom of God, Gal. v. 
 19 — 21. Faith is the effect of a principle of 
 new life implanted in the soul, that was be- 
 fore dead in trespasses and sins; and it quali- 
 fies not only for obeying the Saviour's pre- 
 
206 LETTERS TO THE 
 
 cepts, but chiefly and primarily for receiving 
 from and rejoicing in his fulness, admiring 
 his love, his work, his person, his glory, his 
 advocacy. It makes Christ precious, en- 
 thrones him in the heart, presents him as the 
 most delightful object to our meditations; 
 as our wisdom, righteousness, sanctification, 
 and strength; our root, head, life, shepherd, 
 and husband. These are all Scriptural ex- 
 pressions and images, setting forth, so far as 
 words can declare, what Jesus is in himself 
 and to his believing people. But how cold 
 is the comment which rational assent puts 
 upon very many passages wherein the apos- 
 tle Paul endeavours, but in vain, to express 
 the fulness of his heart upon this subject. 
 A most valued friend of mine, a clergyman, 
 now living, had for many years given a ra- 
 tional assent to the Gospel. He laboured 
 with much earnestness upon your plan, was 
 very exemplary in his whole conduct, preach- 
 ed almost incessantly (two or three times 
 every day in the week for years,) having a 
 parish in the remote parts of Yorkshire, of 
 great extent, and containing five or six dif- 
 ferent hamlets at some distance from each 
 other. He succeeded likewise with his peo- 
 ple, so far as to break them off from outward 
 irregularities; and was mentioned in a let- 
 ter to the Society for Propagating the Gos- 
 pel, which I have seen in print, as the most 
 perfect example of a parish-priest which this 
 nation, or perhaps this age, has produced. 
 
REV. DR. SCOTT. 207 
 
 Thus he went on for many years teaching 
 his people what he knew, for he could teach 
 them no more. He lived in such retirement 
 and recess, that he was unacquainted with 
 the persons and principles of any who are 
 now branded as enthusiasts and methodists. 
 One day reading Ephes. iii. in his Greek 
 Testament, his thoughts were stopped by 
 the word aveUxviaatov, in verse 8. He was 
 struck, and led to think with himself, to this 
 purpose: — "The apostle, when speaking of 
 the love and riches of Christ, uses remarka- 
 ble expressions; he speaks of heights, depths, 
 and lengths, and breadths, and unsearcha- 
 bles, where I seem to find every thing plain, 
 easy, and rational. He finds mysteries where 
 I can perceive none. Surely, though I use 
 the words gospel, faith, and grace with him, 
 my ideas of them must be different from 
 his." This led him to a close examination 
 of all his epistles, and, by the blessings of 
 God, brought on a total change in his views 
 and preaching. He no longer set his people 
 to keep a law of faith, to trust in their sin- 
 cerity and endeavours upon some general 
 hope that Christ would help them out where 
 they came short; but he preached Christ 
 himself, as the end of the law for righteous- 
 ness to every one that believeth. He felt 
 himself, and laboured to convince others, 
 that there is no hope for a sinner, but merely 
 in the blood of Jesus, and no possibility of 
 his doing any works acceptable to God, till 
 
208 LETTERS TO THE 
 
 he himself be first made accepted in the Be- 
 loved. Nor did he labour in vain. Now his 
 preaching effected not only an outward re- 
 formation, but a real change of heart, in very 
 many of his hearers. The word was received, 
 as Paul expresses it, not with a rational as- 
 sent only, but with demonstration and power 
 in the Holy Ghost, and in much assurance; 
 and their endeavours to observe the gospel 
 precepts were abundantly more extensive, 
 uniform, and successful, when they were 
 brought to say, with the apostle, " I am 
 crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live, yet 
 not I, but Christ liveth in me ; and the life I 
 live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of 
 God.'^ 
 
 Such a change of views and sentiments I 
 pray God my friend may experience. These 
 things may appear uncouth to you at present, 
 as they have done to many, who now bless 
 God for showing them what their reason 
 could never have taught them. My divinity 
 is unfashionable enough at present, but it was 
 not so always; you will find few books writ- 
 ten from the era of the Reformation till a 
 little before Laud's time, that set forth any 
 other. There were few pulpits till after the 
 Restoration from which any other was heard. 
 A lamentable change has indeed since taken 
 place; but God has not left himself with- 
 out witnesses. You think, though I dis- 
 claim infallibility, I arrogate too much, in 
 speaking with so much certainty. I am fal- 
 
REV. DR. SCOTT. 209 
 
 lible, indeed; but I am sure of the main 
 points of doctrine I hold. I am not in the 
 least doubt, whether salvation be of faith or 
 of works; whether faith be of our own power, 
 or of God's operation; whether Christ's obe- 
 dience or our own be the just ground of our 
 hope; whether a man can truly call Jesus 
 Lord, but by the teaching of the Ploly Ghost. 
 I have no more hesitation about these points 
 than I should have, were I asked, Whether 
 it was God or man that created the heavens 
 and the earth ? Besides, as I have more 
 than once observed, your sentiments were 
 once my own; so that I, who have travelled 
 both roads, may have, perhaps, some stronger 
 reason to determine me which is the right, than 
 you can have, who have only travelled one. 
 
 Your two sheets may lead me to write as 
 many quires, if I do not check myself. I 
 now come to the two queries you propose, 
 the solution of which, you think, will clearly 
 mark the difference of our sentiments. The 
 substance of them is, 1st, Whether I think 
 any sinner ever perished in his sins, (to whom 
 the Gospel has been preaclied,) because God 
 refused to supply him with such a proportion 
 of his assistance as was absolutely necessary 
 to his believing and repenting, or wilhout his 
 having previously rejected the incitements of 
 his Holy Spirit? A full answer to this would 
 require a sheet. BlU briefly, I believe, that 
 all mankind being corrupt and guilty before 
 God, he might, without impeachment to his 
 18 
 
210 LETTERS TO THE 
 
 justice, have left them all to perish, as we are 
 assured he did the fallen angels. But he was 
 pleased to show mercy, and mercy must be 
 free. If the sinner has any claim to it, so far 
 it is justice not mercy. He who is to be our 
 Judge assures us, that few find the gate that 
 leadeth to life, while many throng the road to 
 destruction. Your question seems to imply, 
 that you think God either did make salvation 
 equally open to all, or that it would have 
 been more becoming his goodness to have 
 done so. 
 
 But he is the potter, we are the clay; his 
 ways and thoughts are above ours, as the 
 heavens are higher than the earth. The 
 Judge of all the earth will do right. He has 
 appointed a day, when he will manifest, to 
 the conviction of all, that he has done right. 
 Till then, I hold it best to take things upon 
 his word, and not too rashly determine 
 what it becomes Jehovah to do. Instead of 
 saying what I think, let it suffice to remind 
 you of what St. Paul thought, Rom. ix. 15 — 
 21. But further, I say, that unless mercy 
 were aff'orded to those who are saved, in a 
 way peculiar to themselves, and which is not 
 aff'orded to those who perish, I believe no 
 one soul could be saved. For I believe fallen 
 man, universally considered as such, is as in- 
 capable of doing the least thing towards his 
 salvation till prevented by the grace of God 
 (as our Article speaks,) as a dead body is of 
 restoring itself to fife. Whatever difference 
 
REV. DR. SCOTT, 211 
 
 takes place between men in this respect is of 
 grace, that is, of God, undeserved. Yea, his 
 first approaches to our hearts are undesired 
 too; for till he seeks us, we cannot, we will 
 not, seek him, Psalm ex. 3. It is in the day 
 of his power, and not before, his people are 
 made willing. But I believe, where the Gos- 
 pel is preached, they who do perish, do wil- 
 fully resist the light, and choose and cleave 
 to darkness, and stifle the convictions which 
 the truths of God, when his true Gospel is 
 indeed preached, will, in one degree or other, 
 force upon their minds. The cares of this 
 world, the deceitfulness of riches, the love of 
 other things, the violence of sinful appetites, 
 their prejudices, pride, and self-righteousness, 
 either prevent the reception, or choke the 
 growth, of the good seed: thus their own 
 sin and obstinacy is the proper cause of their 
 destruction; they will not come to Christ, 
 that they may have life. At the same time, 
 it is true that they cannot, unless they are 
 supernaturally drawn of God, John v. 40, 
 vi. 44. They will not, and they cannot 
 come. Both are equally true, and they are 
 consistent. For a man's cannot is not a na- 
 tural, but a moral inability; not an impossi- 
 bility in the nature of things, as it is for me 
 to walk upon the water, or to fly in the air; 
 but such an inability as, instead of extenu- 
 ating, does exceedingly enhance and aggra- 
 vate his guilt. He is so blinded by Satan, 
 so alienated from God by nature and wicked 
 
212 LETTERS TO THE 
 
 works, so given up to sin, so averse from 
 that way of salvation, which is contrary to 
 his pride and natural wisdom, that he will 
 not embrace it, or seek after it ; and there- 
 fore he cannot, till the grace of God power- 
 fully enlightens his mind, and overcomes his 
 obstacles. But this brings me to your second 
 query: 
 
 2. Do I think that God, in the ordinary 
 course of his providence, grants this assist- 
 ance in an irresistible manner, or effects 
 faith and conversion, without the sinner's 
 own hearty consent and concurrence? I 
 rather choose to term grace invincible than 
 irresistible: for it is too often resisted even 
 by those who believe; but because it is in- 
 vincible, it triumphs overall resistance when 
 He is pleased to bestovv it. For the rest, I 
 believe no sinner is converted without his 
 own hearty will and concurrence. But he 
 is not willing till he is made so. Why does 
 he at all refuse? Because he is insensible 
 of his state; because he knows not the evil 
 of sin, the strictness of the law, the majesty 
 of God whom he has offended, nor the total 
 apostasy of his heart; because he is blind to 
 eternity, and ignorant of the excellency of 
 Christ; because he is comparatively whole, 
 and sees not his need of this great physician; 
 because he relies upon his own wisdom, 
 power, and supposed righteousness. Now, 
 in this state of things, when God comes with 
 a purpose of mercy, he begins by convincing 
 
REV. DR. SCOTT. 213 
 
 the person of sin, judgment, and righteous- 
 ness, causes him to feel and know that he is 
 a lost, condemned, helpless creature, and 
 then discovers to him the necessity, suffi- 
 ciency, and willingness, of Christ to save 
 them that are ready to perish, without money 
 or price, without doings or deservings. Then 
 he sees faith to be very different from a 
 rational assent, finds that nothing but the 
 power of God can produce a well-grounded 
 hope in the heart of a convinced sinner; 
 therefore looks to Jesus, who is the author 
 and finisher of faith, to enable him to believe. 
 For this he waits in what we call the means 
 of grace; he prays, he reads the word, he 
 thirsts for God, as the hart pants for the 
 water brooks; and though, perhaps, for a 
 while he is distressed with many doubts and 
 fears, he is encouraged to wait on, because 
 Jesus has said, '^ Him that cometh unto me, 
 I will in no wise cast out.^' The obstinacy 
 of the will remains while the understanding 
 is dark, and ceases when that is enlightened. 
 Suppose a man walking in the dark, where 
 there are pits and precipices of which he is 
 not aware. You are sensible of his danger, 
 and call after him: but he thinks he knows 
 better than you, refuses your advice, and is 
 perhaps angry with you for your importunity. 
 He sees no danger, therefore will not be per- 
 suaded there is any; but if you go with a 
 light, get before him, and show him plainly 
 that if he takes another step he falls beyond 
 
214 LETTERS TO THE 
 
 the power of recovery; then he will stop of 
 his own accord, blame himself for not mind- 
 ing you before, and be ready to comply with 
 your further directions. In either case man's 
 will acts with equal freedom ; the difference 
 of his conduct arises from conviction. Some- 
 thing like this is the case of our spiritual 
 concerns. Sinners are called and warned by 
 the word; but they are wise in their own 
 eyes, and take but little notice till the Lord 
 gives them light, which he is not bound to 
 give to any, and therefore cannot be bound 
 to give to all. They who have it have reason 
 to be thankful, and subscribe to the apos- 
 tle's words, " By grace are ye saved, through 
 faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the 
 gift of God." 
 
 I have not yet half done with the first sheet: 
 I shall consider the rest at leisure, but send 
 this as a specimen of my willingness to clear 
 my sentiments to you as far as I can. Un- 
 less it should please God to make what I offer 
 satisfactory, I well know beforehand what 
 objections and answers will occur to you, for 
 these points have been often debated; and, 
 after a course of twenty- seven years, in 
 which religion has been the chief object of 
 my thoughts and inquiries, I am not entirely 
 a stranger to what can be offered on either 
 side. What I write, I write simply and in 
 love, beseeching him who alone can set a 
 seal to his own truth to guide you and bless 
 you. This letter has been more than a week 
 
EEV. DR. SCOTT. 215 
 
 in hand: I have been called from it, I sup- 
 pose, ten times, frequently in the middle of 
 a period or a line. My leisure, which before 
 was small, is now reduced almost to a no- 
 thing. But I am desirous to keep up my 
 correspondence with you, because I feel an 
 affectionate interest in you, and because it 
 pleased God to put it into your heart to ap- 
 ply to me. You carmot think how your first 
 letter struck me : it was so unexpected, and 
 seemed so improbable that you should open 
 your mind to me, I immediately conceived a 
 hope it would prove for good. Nor am I 
 yet discouraged. 
 
 When you have leisure and inclination, 
 write; I shall always be glad to hear from 
 you, and I will proceed in answering what I 
 have already by me as fast as I can. But I 
 have many letters now waiting for answers, 
 which must be attended to. 
 
 I recommend you to the blessing and care 
 of the great Shepherd, and remain, &c. 
 
 LETTER VIII. 
 
 December 8, 1775. 
 My dear Friend, — Are you willing I should 
 still call you so, or are you quite weary of 
 me ? Your silence makes me suspect the 
 latter. However, it is my part to fulfil my 
 promise, and then leave the event to God. 
 As I have but an imperfect remembrance of 
 
216 LETTERS TO THE 
 
 what I have already written, I may be Uable 
 to some repetitions. I cannot stay to com- 
 ment upon every line in your letter, but I pro- 
 ceed to notice such passages as seem most to 
 affect the subject in debate. When you 
 speak of the Scriptures maintaining one con- 
 sistent sense, which, if the word of God, it 
 certainly must do, you say you read and un- 
 derstand it in this one consistent sense; nay, 
 you cannot remember the time when you 
 did not. It is otherwise with me and with 
 multitudes; we remember when it v/as a 
 sealed book, and we are sure it would have 
 been so still, had not the Holy Spirit opened 
 our understandings. But when you add, 
 though I pretend not to understand the whole, 
 yet what I do understand appears perfectly 
 consistent, I know not how far this exception 
 may extend, for perhaps the reason why you 
 allow you do not understand some parts, is 
 because you cannot make them consistent 
 with the sense you put upon other parts. 
 You quote my words, ^'That when we are 
 conscious of our depravity, reasoning stands 
 us in no stead." Undoubtedly reason al ways 
 will stand rational creatures in some stead; 
 but my meaning is, that when we are deeply 
 convinced of sin, all our former reasonings 
 upon the ways of God, while we made our 
 conceptions the standard by which we judge 
 what is befitting him to do, as if he were 
 altogether such an one as ourselves, — all 
 these cobweb reasonings are swept away, 
 
REV. DR. SCOTT. 217 
 
 and we submit to his avroj ttprj without rea- 
 soning, though not without reason. For we 
 have the strongest reason imaginable to ac- 
 knowledge ourselves vile and lost without 
 righteousness and strength, when we actu- 
 ally feel ourselves to be so. You speak of 
 the gospel terms of justification. This term 
 is faith. Mark xvi. 16, Acts xiii. 29. The 
 gospel propounds, admits no other term. 
 But this faith, as I endeavoured to show in 
 my former letter, is very different from ra- 
 tional assent. You speak hkewise of the 
 law of faith, by which, if you mean what 
 some call the remedial law, which we are to 
 obey as well as we can, and such obedience, 
 together with our faith, will entitle us to ac- 
 ceptance with God, I am persuaded the Scrip- 
 tures speak of no such thing. Grace and 
 works of any kind, in the point of acceptance 
 with God, are mentioned by the apostle not 
 only as opposites or contraries, but as abso- 
 lutely contradictory to each other, like fire 
 and water, light and darkness; so that the 
 affirmation of one is the denial of the other. 
 Rom. iv. 5, and xi. 6. God justifies freely, 
 justifies the ungodly, and him that worketh 
 not. Though justifying faith be indeed an 
 active principle, it worketh by love, yet not 
 for acceptance. Those whom the apostle 
 exhorts "to work out their own salvation 
 with fear and trembling,^' he considers as 
 justified already; for he considers them as 
 believers, in whom he supposed God ha4 
 19 
 
218 LETTERS TO THE 
 
 already begun a good work; and if so, was 
 confident he would accomplish it, Phil. i. 6. 
 To them, the consideration that God, who 
 dwells in the heart of believers, wrought in 
 them to will and to do, was a powerful mo- 
 tive and encouragement to them to work, 
 that is, to give all diligence in his appointed 
 means, as a right sense of the sin that dwell- 
 eth in us, and the snares and temptations 
 around us, will teach us still to work with 
 fear and trembling. You suppose a differ- 
 ence between Christians (so called) who are 
 devoted to God in baptism, and those who 
 in the first ages were converted from abom- 
 inable superstitions and idolatrous vices. It 
 is true in Christian countries we do not wor- 
 ship heathen divinities by that name, and this 
 is the principal difference I can find. Nei- 
 ther reason nor observation will allow me to 
 think, that human nature is a whit better now 
 than it was in the apostle's time. I know no 
 kindsor degrees of wickedness which prevail- 
 ed among heathens which are not prevalent 
 among nominal Christians, who have perhaps 
 been baptized in their infancy; and therefore, 
 as the streams in the life are equally worldly, 
 sensual, devilish, I doubt not but the foun- 
 tain of the heart is equally polluted and poi- 
 sonous; and that is as true, as in the days of 
 Christ and his apostles, that unless a man be 
 born again, he cannot see the kingdom of 
 God. You sent me a sermon upon the new 
 birth, or regeneration, and you have several 
 
REV. DR. SCOTT. 219 
 
 of mine on the same subject. I wish you to 
 compare them with each other, and with 
 Scripture; and I pray God to show you 
 wherein the difference consists, and on which 
 side the truth Ues. 
 
 When you desire me to reconcile God's 
 being the author of sin with his justice, you 
 show that you misunderstand the whole 
 strain of my sentiments; for I am persuaded 
 you would not misrepresent them. It is 
 easy to charge harsh consequences, which I 
 neither allow, nor indeed do they follow from 
 my sentiments. God cannot be the author 
 of sin in that sense you would fix upon me; 
 but is it possible that upon your plan you 
 find no difficulty in what the Scriptures teach 
 us upon this subject? I conceive that those 
 who were concerned in the death of Christ 
 were very great sinners, and that in nailing 
 him to the cross they committed atrocious 
 wickedness; yet if the apostle may be be- 
 lieved, all this was according to the determi- 
 nate counsel and foreknowledge of God, Acts 
 ii. 23; and they did no more than what his 
 hand and purpose had determined should be 
 done, chap. iv. 28. And you will observe 
 that this wicked act, (wicked with respect to 
 the perpetrators) was not only permitted, but 
 fore-ordained in the strongest and most ab- 
 solute sense of the word. The glory of God 
 and the salvation of men depended upon its 
 being dorje, and just in that manner, and, 
 with all those circumstances which actually 
 
220 LETTERS TO THE 
 
 took place, and yet Judas and the rest acted 
 freely, and their wickedness was probably 
 their own. Now, my friend, the arguments 
 which satisfy you that the Scriptures do not 
 represent God as the author of this sin in 
 this appointment, will plead for me at the 
 same time; and when you think you easily 
 overcome me by asking, " Can God be the 
 author of sin?'' your imputation falls as di- 
 rectly upon the word of God himself. God 
 is no more the author of sin than the sun is 
 the cause of ice; but it is in the nature of 
 water to congeal into ice when the sun's in- 
 iSiuence is suspended to a certain degree. 
 So there is sin enough in the hearts of men 
 to make the earth the very image of hell, 
 and to prove that men are no better than in- 
 carnate devils, were he to suspend his in- 
 fluence and restraint. Sometimes, and in 
 some instances, he is pleased to suspend it 
 considerably, and so far as he does, human 
 nature quickly appears in its true colours. 
 Objections of this kind have been repeated 
 and refuted before either you or I were born; 
 and the apostle evidently supposes they 
 would be urged against the doctrine, when 
 he obviates the question, " Why doth he yet 
 find fault; who hath resisted his will.^" To 
 which he gives no other answer than by re- 
 ferring it to God's sovereignty, and the 
 power which a potter has over the clay. I 
 think I have in a former letter made some 
 reply to the charge of positiveness in my 
 
KEV. DE. SCOTT. 221 
 
 own opinion. I acknowledge that I am falli- 
 ble, yet I must again lay claim to a certainty 
 about the way of salvation. I am as sure 
 of some things as of my own existence: I 
 should be so if there was no human creature 
 upon earth but myself However, my senti- 
 ments are confirmed by the suffrages of thou- 
 sands who have lived before me, of many 
 with whom I have personally conversed in 
 different places and circumstances, unknown 
 to each other; yet all have received the same 
 views, because taught by the same Spirit. 
 And I have likewise been greatly confirmed 
 by the testimony of many with whom I have 
 conversed in their dying hours. I have seen 
 them rejoicing in the prospect of death, free 
 from fears, breathing the air of immortality; 
 heartily disclaiming their duties and perform- 
 ances; acknowledging that their best actions 
 were attended with evil sufficient to condemn 
 them ; renouncing every shadow of hope, 
 but what they derived from the blood of 
 Christ, as the sole cause of their acceptance; 
 yet triumphing in him over every enemy and 
 fear, and as sure of heaven as if they were 
 already there. And such were the apostle's 
 hopes, wholly founded on knowing whom 
 he had believed, and his persuasion of his 
 ability to keep that which he had committed 
 unto him. This is faith, a renouncing of 
 every thing we are apt to call our own, and 
 relying wholly upon the blood, righteous- 
 ness, and intercession of Jesus. However, 
 
222 LETTERS TO THE 
 
 I cannot communicate this my certainty to 
 you; I only tell you there is such a thing, in 
 hopes, if you do not think I wilfully lie both 
 to God and man, you will be earnest to seek 
 it from him who bestowed it on me, and 
 who will bestow it upon all who will sin- 
 cerely apply to him, and patiently wait upon 
 him for it. 
 
 I cannot but wonder, that while you pro- 
 fess to believe the depravity of human na- 
 ture, you should speak of good qualities in- 
 herent in it. The word of God, describes it 
 as evil, only evil, and that continually. That 
 there are such quahties as Stoics and infidels 
 call virtue, I allow. God has not left man 
 destitute of such dispositions as are neces- 
 sary to the peace of society; but I deny there 
 is any moral goodne^js in them, unless they 
 are founded in a supreme love to God, have 
 his glory for their aim, and are produced by 
 faith in Jesus Christ. A man may give all 
 his goods to feed the poor, and his body to 
 be burned, in zeal for the truth, and yet be 
 a mere nothing, a tinkling cymbal, in the 
 sight of him who seeth not as man seeth, 
 but judgeth the heart. Many infidels and 
 avowed enemies to the grace and Gospel of 
 Christ, have made a fair show of what the 
 world call virtue; but Christian virtue is 
 grace, the effect of a new nature and new 
 life ; and works thus wrought in God, are as 
 diff'erent from the faint, partial imitations of 
 them which fallen nature is capable of pro- 
 
REV. DR. SCOTT. 
 
 223 
 
 ducing, as a living man is from a statue. A 
 statue may express the features and linea- 
 ments of the person whom it represents, but 
 there is no life. 
 
 Your comment on the seventh to the Ro- 
 mans, latter part, contradicts my feelings. 
 You are either of a different make and na- 
 ture from me, or else you are not rightly ap- 
 prized of your own state, if you do not find 
 the apostle's complaint very suitable to your- 
 self. I believe it applicable to the most holy 
 Christian upon earth. But controversies of 
 this kind are worn thread-bare. When you 
 speak of the spiritual part of a natural man, 
 it sounds to me like the living part of a dead 
 man, or the seeing part of a blind man. 
 Paul tells me, that the natural man, what- 
 ever his spiritual part may be, can neither 
 receive nor discern the things of God. What 
 the apostle speaks of himself (Rom. vii.) is 
 no more, when rightly understood, than what 
 he affirms of all who are partakers of a spi- 
 ritual life, or who are true believers, Gal. v. 
 17. The carnal natural mind is enmity 
 against God, not subject to the law of God, 
 neither indeed can be. When you subjoin, 
 "Till it be set at liberty from the law of 
 sin," you do not comment upon the text, but 
 make an addition of your own, which the 
 text will by no means bear. The carnal 
 mind is enmity. An enemy may be recon- 
 ciled, but enmity itself is incurable. This 
 carnal mind, natural man, old man, flesh (for 
 
224 
 
 LETTERS TO THE 
 
 the expressions are all equivalent, and de- 
 note and include the heart of man as he is 
 by nature,) may be crucified, must be morti- 
 fied, but cannot be sanctified. All that is 
 good and gracious, is the effect of a new 
 creation, a supernatural principle, wrought 
 in the heart by the gospel of Christ, and the 
 agency of his Spirit; and, till that is effected, 
 the highest attainment, the finest qualifica- 
 tions in man, however they may exalt him 
 in his own eyes, or recommend him to the 
 notice of his fellow-worms, are but abomi- 
 nation in the sight of God, Luke xvi. 15. 
 The gospel is calculated and designed to 
 stain the pride of human glory. It is pro- 
 vided, not for the wise and the righteous, for 
 those who think they have good dispositions 
 and good works to plead, but for the guilty, 
 the helpless, the wretched, for those who are 
 ready to perish; it fills the hungry with good 
 things, but it sends the rich empty away. 
 See Rev. iii. 17, 18. 
 
 You ask, If man can do nothing without 
 an extraordinary impulse from on high, is 
 he to sit still and careless? By no means — 
 I am far from saying man can do nothing, 
 though I believe he cannot open his own 
 eyes, or give himself faith. I wish every 
 man to abstain carefully from sinful com- 
 pany, and sinful actions, to read the Bible, to 
 pray to God for his heavenly teaching. For 
 this waiting upon God he has a moral abili- 
 ty; and if he persevere thus in seeking, the 
 
REV. DR. SCOTT. 225 
 
 promise is sure, that he shall not seek in 
 vain. But I would not have him mistake 
 the means for the end; think himself good 
 because he is preserved from gross vices and 
 follies, or trust to his religious course of duties 
 for acceptance, nor be satisfied till Christ be 
 revealed in him, formed within him, dwell 
 in his heart by faith, and till he can say upon 
 good grounds, "I am crucified with Christ; 
 nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ 
 liveth in me." I need not tell you, these are 
 Scriptural expressions; I am persuaded, if 
 they were not, they would be exploded by 
 many as unintelligible jargon. True faith, 
 my dear Sir, unites the soul to Christ, and 
 thereby gives access to God, and fills it with 
 a peace passing understanding, a hope, a joy 
 unspeakable and full of glory; teaches us 
 that we are weak in ourselves, but enables 
 us to be strong in the Lord, and in the 
 power of his might. To those who thus be- 
 lieve, Christ is precious, their beloved; they 
 hear and know his voice: the very sound of 
 his name gladdens their hearts, and he mani- 
 fests himself to them as he does not to the 
 world. Thus the Scriptures speak, thus the 
 first Christians experienced ; and this is pre- 
 cisely the language, which, in our days, is 
 despised as enthusiasm and folly. For it is 
 now as it was then, though these things are 
 revealed to babes, and they are as sure of 
 them as that they see the noon-day sun, they 
 are hidden from the wise and prudent, till 
 
226 LETTEES TO THE 
 
 the Lord makes them willing to renounce 
 their own wisdom, and to become fools, that 
 they may be truly wise, 1 Cor. i. IS, 19; iii. 
 8; viii. 2. Attention to the education of 
 children is an undoubted duty ; and it is a 
 mercy when it so far succeeds as to preserve 
 them from gross wickedness; but it will not 
 change the heart. They who receive Christ 
 are born, not of blood, nor of the will of the 
 flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God, 
 John i. 13. 
 
 If a man profess to love the Lord Jesus, 
 I am willing to believe him, if he does not 
 give me proof to the contrary; but I am sure, 
 at the same time, no one can love him in the 
 Scriptural sense, who does not know the need 
 and the worth of a Saviour; in other words, 
 who is not brought, as a ruined, helpless sin- 
 ner, to live upon him for wisdom, righteous- 
 ness, sanctification, and redemption. They 
 who love him thus will speak highly of him, 
 and acknowledge that he is their all in all. 
 And they who thus love him, and speak of 
 him, will get little thanks for their pains in 
 such a world as this: " All that live godly in 
 Christ Jesus must suffer persecution;'' the 
 world that hated him, will hate them. And 
 though it is possible, by his grace to put to 
 silence, in some measure, the ignorance of 
 foolish men; and though his providence can 
 protect his people, so that not a hair of their 
 heads can be hurt without his permission: yet 
 the world will show their teeth, if they are 
 
REV. DR. SCOTT. 227 
 
 not suffered to bite. The apostles were ac- 
 counted babblers, c«j Tts^ixaOa^ixata T'ox) xosfiov 
 
 xab Ttavtcov rti^i'^ri^ia. I need not point out to 
 you the force of these expressions. We are 
 no better than the apostles; nor have we 
 reason to expect much better treatment, so 
 far as we walk in their steps. On the other 
 hand, there is a sober, decent way of speak- 
 ing of God, and goodness, and benevolence, 
 and sobriety, which the world will bear well 
 enough ; nay, we may say a little about Jesus 
 Christ, as ready to make up the deficiencies 
 of our honest and good endeavours, and this 
 will not displease them. But if we preach 
 him as the only foundation, lay open the 
 horrid evils of the human heart, tell our 
 hearers that they are dead in trespasses and 
 sins, and have no better ground of hope in 
 themselves than the vilest malefactors, in 
 order to exalt the glory of Jesus, as saving 
 those who are saved wholly and freely for 
 his own name's sake; if we tell the virtuous 
 and decent, as well as the profligate, that 
 unless they are born again, and made par- 
 takers of living faith, and count all things loss 
 for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ, 
 they cannot be saved: this the world cannot 
 bear. We shall be called knaves or fools, 
 uncharitable bigots, and twenty hard names. 
 If you have met with nothing like this, I 
 wish it may lead you to suspect whether you 
 have yet received the right key to the doc- 
 trines of Christ: for depend upon it, the of- 
 fence of the cross is not ceased. 
 
228 LETTERS TO THE 
 
 I am grieved and surprised that you seem 
 to take little notice of any thing in the ac- 
 count of my deceased friend, but his wishing 
 himself to be a deist, and his having play- 
 books about him in his illness. Your remark 
 on the other point shows that you are not 
 much acquainted with the exercises of the 
 human mind under certain circumstances. I 
 believe I observed formerly, that it was not 
 a libertine wish. Had you known him, you 
 would have known one of the most amiable 
 and unblemished characters. Few were 
 more beloved and admired for an uniform 
 course of integrity, moderation, and benevo- 
 lence; but he was discouraged. He studied 
 the Bible, believed it in general to be the 
 word of God; but his wisdom, his strong 
 turn for reasoning, stood so in his way, that 
 he could get no solid comfort from it. He 
 felt the vanity of the schemes proposed by 
 many men admired in the world as teachers 
 of divinity; and he felt the vanity likewise 
 of his own. He was also a minister, and 
 had a sincere design of doing good. He 
 wished to reform the profligate, and comfort 
 the afflicted by his preaching; but as he was 
 not acquainted with that one kind of preach- 
 ing which God owns to the edification of 
 the hearers, he found he could do neither. 
 A sense of disappointments of this kind dis- 
 tressed him. Finding in himself none of 
 that peace which the Scriptures speak of, 
 and none of the influence he hoped for at- 
 tending his ministry, he was led sometimes 
 
REV. DR. SCOTT. 229 
 
 to question the truth of the Scriptures. We 
 have a spiritual enemy always near, to press 
 upon a mind in this desponding situation: 
 nor am I surprised that he should then wish 
 himself a deist; since, if there were any hope 
 for a sinner but by faith in the blood of 
 Jesus, he had as much of his own goodness 
 to depend upon as most I have known. As 
 for the rest, if you could see nothing admir- 
 able and wonderful in the clearness, the dig- 
 nity, the spirituality of his expressions, after 
 the Lord revealed the gospel to him, I can 
 only say, I am sorry for it. This I know, 
 that some persons of sense, taste, learning, 
 and reason, and far enough from my senti- 
 ments, have been greatly struck with them. 
 You say, a death-bed repentance is what you 
 would be sorry to give any hope of. My 
 dear friend, it is well for poor sinners that 
 God's thoughts and ways are as much above 
 men's, as the heavens are higher than the 
 earth. We agreed to communicate our senti- 
 ments freely, and promised not to be offend- 
 ed with each other's freedom, if we could 
 help it. I am afraid of offending you by a 
 thought just now upon my mind, and yet I 
 dare not in conscience suppress it. I must 
 therefore venture to say, that I hope they 
 who depend upon such a repentance as your 
 scheme points out, will repent of their re- 
 pentance itself upon their death-bed at least, 
 if not sooner. You and I perhaps, should 
 have encouraged the fair spoken young man 
 
230 LETTERS TO THE 
 
 who said he had kept all the commandments 
 from his youth, and rather have left the thief 
 upon the cross to perish like a villain as he 
 lived. But Jesus thought differently. I do 
 not encourage sinners to defer their repent- 
 ance to their death-beds. I press the neces- 
 sity of a repentance this moment. But then 
 I take care to tell them, that repentance is 
 the gift of God ; that Jesus is exalted to be- 
 stow it; and that all their endeavours that 
 way, unless they seek to him for grace, will 
 be vain as washing a blackmoor, and tran- 
 sient as washing a sow which will soon re- 
 turn to the mire again. I know the evil 
 heart will abuse the grace of God; the apostle 
 knew this likewise, Rom. iii. 8, and vi. 3. 
 But this did not tempt him to suppress the 
 glorious grace of the gospel, the power of 
 Jesus to save to the uttermost, and his mer- 
 ciful promise, that whosoever cometh unto 
 him, he will in no wise cast him out. The 
 repentance of a natural heart proceeding 
 wholly from fear, like that of some malefac- 
 tors, who are sorry, not that they have com- 
 mitted robbery or murder, but that they must 
 be hanged for it; this undoubtedly is nothing 
 worth, whether in time of health, or in a 
 dying hour. But that ^ufi^avota, that gracious 
 change of heart, views, and dispositions, 
 which always takes place when Jesus is made 
 known to the soul as having died, that the 
 sinner might live, and been wounded, that 
 he might be healed; this, at whatever period 
 
REV. DR. SCOTT. 231 
 
 God is pleased to afford and effect it by his 
 Spirit, brings a sure and everlasting salva- 
 tion with it. 
 
 Still I find I have not done: you ask my 
 exposition of the parables of the talents and 
 pounds; but at present I can write no more, 
 I have only just time to tell you, that when 
 I begged your acceptance of Omicron, noth- 
 ing was further from my expectation than a 
 correspondence with you. The frank and 
 kind manner in which you wrote presently 
 won upon my heart. In the course of our 
 letters upon subscription, I observed an in- 
 tegrity and disinterestedness in you, which 
 endeared you to me still more. Since that 
 our debates have taken a much more inter- 
 esting turn; I have considered it as a call, 
 and an opportunity put in my hand, by the 
 special providence of him who ruleth over 
 all. I have embraced the occasion, to lay 
 before you simply, and rather in a way of 
 testimony than argumentation, what, in the 
 main, I am sure is truth. I have done 
 enough to discharge my conscience, but shall 
 never think I do enough to answer the affec- 
 tion I bear you. I have done enough like- 
 wise to make you weary of my correspon- 
 dence, unless it should please God to fix the 
 subject deeply upon your mind, and make 
 you attentive to the possibility and vast im- 
 portance of a mistake in matters of ever- 
 lasting concernment. I pray that the good 
 Spirit of God may guide you into all truths. 
 
232 LETTERS TO THE REV. DR. SCOTT. 
 
 He only is the effectual teacher. I still retain 
 a cheerful hope, that some things you cannot 
 at present receive, will hereafter be the joy 
 and comfort of your heart; but I know it 
 cannot be till the Lord's own time. I can- 
 not promise to give such long answers as 
 your letters require, to clear up every text 
 that may be proposed, and to answer every 
 objection that may be started; yet I shall be 
 glad to change a letter now and then. At 
 present, it remains with you whether our 
 correspondence continues or not, and this is 
 the third letter I have written since I heard 
 from you, and therefore must be the last till 
 I do. I should think what remains might be 
 better settled viva voce; for which purpose I 
 shall be glad to see you, or ready to wait on 
 you when leisure will permit, and when I 
 know it will be agreeable: but if (as life and 
 all its affairs are precarious) we should never 
 meet in this world, I pray God we may 
 meet at the right hand of Jesus, in the great 
 day when he shall come to gather up his 
 jewels and to judge the world. There is an 
 endless diversity of opinions in matters of re- 
 ligion; which of them are right and safe, and 
 will lead to eternal glory, that day will show. 
 I am still in a manner lost amidst more en- 
 gagements than I have time to comply with; 
 but I feel and know that I am, &c. 
 
 THE END. 
 
DATE DUE 
 
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