BX 7795 .F76 A3 1846 Fox, Maria Middleton, 1793 1844. Memoirs of Maria Fox Digitized by the Internet Arcliive in 2015 littps://arcliive.org/details/memoirsofmariafoOOfoxm_0. M E M 0 I E S APR 19] < - or MARIA FOX, LATE OF TOTTENHAM, CONSISTING CHIEFLY OF EXTRACTS FROM HER JOURNAL AND CORRESPONDENCE. " The path of the just is as the shining light— and, when these have been permitted, through infinite mercy, to attain to the perfect day, and are for ever at rest with their Saviour, whom they loved and sought to follow here below, the track by which they trod through this valley of tears, is still bright, and the contemplation of it is animating and instructive.'* — P. 419. LONDON: CHARLES GILPIN, 5, BISHOPSGATE STREET WITHOUT ; BRIGHTON, ARTHUR WALLIS ; YORK, J. L. LINNEY ; MANCHESTER, WILLIAM IRWIN. 18iG. LONDON : RrCIIARI) BARRETT, PRINTER, MAI'.K LANE. P RE FACE. In preparing tlie following work for jjublication, the Editor has been influenced by a variety of considerations. To himself, it has furnished an interesting and congenial occupation for not a few solitary hours, whilst to a large circle of intimate friends, indeed, to all who had any acquaintance with the subject of this biography, it is believed that the volume will prove an acceptable memento of their departed friend. But to others besides these, it may supply matter of interest and instruction. The young will find in it encouraonnsr evidence of the truth, that wisdom's ways are ways of pleasantness, — that instead of interfering with the tiTie enjoyment of life, or cramping the energies of the mind, religion heightens the one, and strengthens, whilst it regulates, the other. And those who are further advanced in years, espe- cially of her own sex, may derive some encouragement from the practical exhibition of christian principle, in the various relations and duties of active life. Those also who take an interest in observing the development of character and the diversity of the human mind, may here find materials for profitable contemplation. But it is the christian believer, — the faithful, yet oft-times faint- hearted follower of a crucified Redeemer, to whom this volume will be especially valuable. It may serve to confirm his faith, and animate his hopes, and possibly it may tend to enlarge his conceptions of the glory of that gospel, which is " the power of God unto salvation, to every one that believeth." A few short pieces of poetiy have been inserted. Actuated by religious principle, and ever fearful of violating the limits of iv PREFACE. strict veracity, the writer was restrained from availing herself of the ordinary poetical license, or of soaring far into the regions of imagination. Consequently, these simple lays may possess but few attractions for some readers, whilst to others, they may prove acceptable, not only as marking a refined taste, but as exhibiting the tendency of the author's mind, when expatiating with delight on the works of creation, to turn to the still more glorious theme of a Saviour's love. The Editor has not been insensible of the delicacy of the task which he has undertaken. One of his chief difficulties in the execution, has arisen from his own name occurring so frequently in the original materials. In the following publication, it has been omitted, wherever it was practicable without interrupting the narrative, or doing manifest injustice to the character of a most devoted and affectionate wife. But little of editorial matter has been introduced into the work. Instead of adding to its value, it might have interfered with the faithful transcript of Maria Fox's mind, as presented in her own memoranda and letters. CONTENTS. CHAPTER I. PAGE 1793—1809. Parentage — Address to her children — Biographical notice of her parents — Death of her brother — Her own and sister's education — Decease of her mother 1 CHAPTER II. 1809 — 1819. Reminiscences of her character by contemporaries — Letters and memoranda — Essay on mental cultivation — Death of her father — Letters referring to this event — Botanical and other pursuits 19 CHAPTER III. 1820 — 182G. Removal to Southampton — Letters — First appearance as a minister — House of Refuge — Letters and memoranda — Visit to Channel Islands — Illness — Letters and memoranda — Poetry— Letters .39 CHAPTER IV. 1826. Journey on the Continent — Rotterdam — Amsterdam — Zeist — Deventer — Bentheim — Ippenbiihren — Osnabriick — Herford — Pyrmont — Minden — Rehme — Eidinghausen — Hille — Hanover — Celle — Hamburgh — Passage to England — Land- ing at Southwold — Journey home f53 VI CONTENTS. CHAPTER V. P.iI.E 182G. Illness of a near relation — House of Refuge — Q,uaiterly Meeting — W. and R. Byrd— Awful eatastroplie — Races — Montlily Meeting — Offer of marriage — Letters — Death of her cousin — Quarterly Meeting — Visit to the Isle of Wight — Monthly Meeting — Liberated for religious engagement — Irisli society — H. M.'s visits to workhouse — Letters — Bible meeting — Leaves home for neiglibourhood of London — Staines — Uxbridge— Brentford — Visit to families of Gracechurch-street meeting — Return home — Quarterly Meeting — Illness . . . 100 CHAPTER VI. 1827. Continued illness — Prospect of religious service — Recovery — Presentation of marriage — Visit to Alton Monthly Meeting — Quarterly Meeting— Memoranda — Marriage 139 CHAPTER VII. 1827, 1828. Sketch of her character — Bognor — Southampton — Uffculm — Wellington — Prospect of religious service — Journey into Yorkshire — Religious engagements there — Return home — Memoranda 158 CHAPTER VIII. 1828, 1829. Birth of a son — Memoranda— Residence on the Devon- shire coast — Visit to families of her own Montlily Meeting — Interment of P. H. Gurney — Quarterly Meeting — S. F.'s absence on the continent — Yearly Meeting — Quarterly meeting 179 CHAPTER IX. 1830 — 1883. Reflections — Visits to the poor — Establishment of Provident Society — W. and M. Smith — Birth of a son — Memoranda — Quarterly Meeting — Religious visit to Devon and Cornwall — Death of her sister-in-law — Religious service in Bristol — Reflections on birth-day — Illness and death of her husband's mother 207 CHAPTER X. ]833 — 1835. Character as a mother — Bii th of a son — Her sister's liealth declines — Death of her aunt, M. H. — Religious engage- ments— Lameness — Illness in family — Stay at llfracombe — Religious engagement in Lancasliire and Yorkshii-e — Her sister's increased illness and decease 238 CONTENTS. CHAPTER XI. PAGB 1835 — 1837. Residence at Bath — Illness— Journey in Devon and Cornwall — Davvlish — Letters and memoranda — Quarterly Meeting — Total abstinence — Epidemic — Visit to London — Suffolk — Yearly Meeting — Brighton — Return home . . . 266 CHAPTER XII. 1837, 1838. Prospect of removing to London — Religious engage- ment in Somerset and Devon — Departure from Wellington — Settlement at Peckham — Negro apprenticeship — Memoranda and letters — Removal to Tottenham 298 CHAPTER XIII. 18,38, 183n. Settlement at Tottenham— Yearly ]\Ieeting— Journey in Kent — D. Wheeler — Interment at Reading — Religious en- gagements in Buckinghamshire and Northamptonshire — Re- turn home — Memoranda — Quarterly Meetings' committee — Religious service in Beds and Herts — Yearly Meeting — Jour- ney to Wellington — Letters 322 CHAPTER XIV. 1839, 1840. Religious engagements in London and Middlesex Quarterly Meeting — Decease of her aunt, E. Hoyland — Clcrk- enwell prison — Meetings in Tottenham and its neighbour- hood— Interment of C. Wheeler — Religious engagements con- tinued— Return of certificate .351 CHAPTER XV. 1840, 1841. Memoranda — Stay at Brighton — Religious engage- ments there — S. F.'s absence in France — Religious visits to young Friends 380 CHAPTER XVI. 1841. Interment of a friend — Quarterly Meeting — Yearly Meet- ing— Accident to a son — Journey to Ireland — Death of J. Sanderson — Religious engagements at Leicester 402 CHAPTER XVII. 1841, 1842. Memoranda — Letters — Remarks on the ministry — Indisposition — Decease of a friend — Hitchin — Stay at Graves- end 41 G Till CONTENTS. CHAPTER XVIII. TAOF 1842,1843. Yearly Meeting — Dover— Attendance of Monthly Meetings — Distress in manufiictuving districts — Ipswich — Clielmsford — Brighton — Folkstone 4.">!t CHAPTER XIX. 1 843, Religious engagement in Scotland and North of England — Danger at sea — Genera! Meeting at Aberdeen — Newcastle — Shields — Sunderland — Cai'lisle — Kendal — Lancashire — Re- turn home — Change of residence — Illness of E. Robson — Last memorandum 4.53 CHAPTER XX. 1843, 1844. Illness — Decease — Letters illustrative of character — Testimony of Tottenham Monthly Meeting 473 MEMOlllS OF MAPvIA FOX. CHAPTER I. 1793 — 1809. Parentage — Address to her children — Biographical notice of her parents — Death of her brother — Her own and sister's education — Decease of her mother. Maria Fox, the subject of this Memoir^ was born at Wellingborough, in Northamptonshire, on the 30th of the Third Month, 1793. Her parents, Benjamin and Tabitha Middleton, were highly esteemed members of the Society of Friends, the former occupying, for many years, the station of elder, the latter that of a minister. The following sketch from the pen of their daughter, supersedes the necessity of any other description. In this sim2:)le narration, will be found much practical instruction, and in the delineation here presented to our view of the characters of this estimable couple, is fnr- nished a beautiful illustration of the reality, the power and efficacy of true religion. This sweet tribute to the memory of her departed parents, cannot fail to derive additional interest from the touching address to her own beloved children, by which it is prefaced. It will be seen that the writer gives also a brief outline of the mode pursued in her own and her sister's early education, and the B 9 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. reader will only regret that the narrative terminates so abruptly. To B. M. F.— S. L, F. and J. H. F. My dear Children, Your mother's parents were removed from this world long hefore you were horn ; but their memory is precious, and their pious example, in the various duties of their station, is often brought sweetly to my remembrance ; so that I think it will be interesting as well as instructive for you to possess such par- ticulars respecting them, as I may be able clearly to remember. My dear father and mother lived in habits of close and con- fidential intimacy with their children ; we enjoyed their conver- sation, and listened vdth delight, when they related to us any circumstances of their past life that were likely to interest us, or to furnish lessons of instruction to our minds. My dear father would often engage our attention in this way. In the winter evenings, when we formed a happy circle round the fire, I sat in a little chair beside his knees, and used to listen with avidity to his recitals ; some of the minute circumstances of which, are fixed more firmly in my memory, than many subsequent impressions. Those are sweet and favoured hours, when children enjoy the society of their parents in the mutual interchange of afiection and confidence ; and I love to retrace such seasons, and to dwell on the remembrance of those excellencies which adorned the chris- tian character of these beloved parents. Of them, it might almost be said, in the words applied by Luke to Zacharias and Elizabeth, (and I have heard the text quoted by one who knew them intimately, in attempting to describe their character) that they walked "in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless." Their conduct and conversation eminently adorned the doctrine of God our Saviour. They esteemed his service, their noblest employment, and counted nothing too dear to part with for his sake. They were rich in works of faith and labours of love, but, in true hiimility of heart, held themselves ever as unprofitable servants, and rested their hope of salvation on the glorious promises of the gospel of Christ. Their hearts MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 3 were enlarged in his love, so that it was their delight, according to the ability he had given them, to " do good unto all men, especially unto them," who were "of the household of faith ;" but that spirit of universal benevolence, which led them to feel for the wants and the sorrows of their fellow-creatures without distinction, did not withdraw them from the fulfilment of those more private duties which they owed to their family. Of the manner in which they discharged their trust as parents, I can only say, that it is the prayer of my heart, that we may be enabled, by the power of divine grace, so to care for you, our precious children, so to walk before yovi, in humility and the fear of God, so to bear you upon our hearts before the throne of grace, and when we shall be taken from you, to leave upon your minds such a,n impression, as they have left upon the minds of their children, of the beauty as well as excellency of vital religion. You have had pious ancestors on both sides ; may it be your fervent prayer to become followers of them, as they followed Christ ; patiently, humbly, meekly, to tread that path of self-denial in which they were content to walk, looking, through faith in a crucified Saviour, towards the crown of life laid up at the end of the race for them who love his appearing ! So prays your affectionate Mother, M. F. Wellington^ 1835. Benjamin Middleton the elder, was a native of Highflatts in Yorkshire, but his family came originally from the village of Hope, near Castleton, in the Peak of Derbyshire. He removed from Highflatts, probably about the year 1730, and established himself at Wellingborough in the business of a woollen-draper. He began the world with few advantages besides the possession of an active, energetic mind and industrious habits. In the year 1737, he married Hannah Brooksbank, also a native of Highflatts or its neighbourhood. They had three children, Hannah, Mary, and Benjamin, the subject of the following narrative. Benjamin Middleton (our dear father,) was born at Welling- borough in the county of Northampton, I believe on the 17th of Second Month, 1746, 0. S., two days after the decisive B 2 4 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. defeat of the Scotch rebels, as they were termed, at the battle of Ciilloden. It was a time of general excitement, and the day of my dear father's birth, was a day of great agitation and alann throughout the northern and midland counties, from the pre- valence of a rumour that victory had been on the side of the Scotch, and that their troops were rapidly advancing towards the capital. So fully was this report believed, and so great was the confusion and dismay it produced, that the day was long spoken of in popular language, under the epithet of " Running Saturday." Of my dear father's early childhood, much is not known ; but he appears to have been of a sweet and tender spirit, and seriously inclined when very young, though a child of great natural vivacity, and, it seems, not wanting in spiiit when circumstances called it forth. I have heard him say, that one of his earliest recollections was of a contested election for the county, which took place when he was about three years old, and that hearing a man in the street vociferate the name of one of the candidates, he immediately shouted the other, and threw an apple he held in his hand at the man who showed himself on the side contrary to that which was espoused by his father ; a proof that children imbibe, at a very early age, the spirit and temper of those with whom they are nearly associated. He received the rudiments of education from a schoolmaster at Wellingborough, who, though principally self- taught, had acquired considerable knowledge of mathematics and the science of astronomy. From this native genius, he probably imbibed a fondness for arithmetical calculations, and a taste for geography and astronomy, which were conspicuous through life. About this time John Hirst of Sheffield, a distant relation, was occasionally a guest at their house. The accounts he gave of the various manufactures carried on at Sheffield, awakened in the mind of my dear father an earnest desire to visit this extraordinary place, and made him willingly accede to the proposal of his father that he should be apprenticed to J. H. It was a very great trial to the feelings of his affectionate mother to part with him at the age of twelve years, especially as he was sent this journey of about one hundred miles with the packhorses ; a mode at that time generally used for the conveyance of goods, and of which MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 5 travellers frequently availed themselves. It was in the vrinter season ; for I have heard him speak of traversing the forest near Nottingham in the snow, and being often obliged to walk to keep himself warm. The business carried on by John Hirst and his partners, was the manufacture of plated stirrups and bridle-bits, and my dear father was taught to work in the various processes of it. In the early part of his apprenticeship, he met with many trials from his situation, as the youngest among a number of men and boys, whose conversation and habits were very uncongenial to him : some of them, with the insensibility which marks a low or de- praved mind, considered it a matter of amusement to inflict suf- fering on his acute feelings. These trials had perhaps the efiect of deepening those religious impressions which had been carefully cherished by his mother. He was very fond of reading, and de- voted most of his leisure hours to the improvement of his mind, and with this view he attended an evening school kept by a Friend. He was diligent in the perusal of the Holy Scriptures and other religious books, and early felt the value of opportunities for private meditation and secret waiting on the Lord. He was privileged with free access to the houses of some valuable friends at Sheffield, amongst whom were William and Mary Fairbank. They treated him with affectionate kindness, and he cherished for them a strong and permanent friendship ; always speaking with gTateful sensi- bility of their religious care for him during this interesting period of his life. During the time of his apprenticeship he had the small-pox so severely, that his life was despaired of by his attendants. At this juncture, his father, who had been sent for, arrived. He had just read a publication which recommended a mode of treatment directly opposite to that which had long been pursued in this disorder ; and, being a man of considerable resolution and firm- ness of character, he urged the immediate adoption of a course which appeared to him most rational. The medical men were very averse to his proposal ; but, seeing the critical situation of his son, he resolved on the change, and proceeded immediately to admit air into the heated apartment, sitting dowTi himself by the bed-side to watch the effect. He soon had the satisfaction of 6 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. observing favourable indications, and the event fully answered his hopes. The uniform stability of my dear father's conduct, his fidelity and diligence in business during the term of his apprenticeship, had so far gained him the confidence and esteem of his masters, that at the termination of it they concluded to offer him a share in the concern. This appeared, at the time, a veiy advantageous proposal to a young man who had little expectation of advance- ment in the world, but by his own care and exertion. His mind, however, which had long been secretly bending under the trans- forming power of divine grace, was deeply sensible of the impor- tance of a step which was likely to have an influence on his whole future life ; and as he earnestly desked to follow, in humility of heart, the teachings of a Saviour who pleased not himself, he could not ventui-e on accepting this ofier, -nithout taking time for serious deliberation and asking counsel of the Lord. Whilst thus carefully endeavouring to ascertain the course pointed out for him by best wisdom, different views of the subject presented themselves. On one hand, there was the inducement held out of a comfortable establishment in a business with which he was well acquainted, and of settlement in a place where he enjoyed many social and religious privileges ; on the other, his mind, strongly alive to the claims of filial duty and domestic affection, turned with tender interest to the situation of his parents. His father, from the pressure of increasing infirmities, was become less capable of conducting the business at home, and his mother naturally looked to her only son as the stay of her declining years. Under these circumstances, it appeared right to hold himself so far at liberty as to be able, whenever it should become necessary, ftdly to devote himself to their comfort and assistance. He therefore declined to accept a share in the busi- ness at Sheffield, but continued, for several years longer, to be employed in it. With this determination his mind was well satisfied, and, in the unfolding of subsequent events, he found cause to look back upon it as a providential leading. In the year 1769, his eldest sister Hannah died. My father went home on this occasion, to attend the interment and to Ansit his bereaved parents. He returned to Sheffield, and continued MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 7 his former employment until his twenty-fourth year ; when, his motlier feeling the want of his assistance to carry on the husiness, for which her husband was still more disqualified, he resigned his situation, took leave of his many kind friends at Sheffield, by whom he was highly esteemed, and retiu'ned to the parental roof. In the document issued by Balby Monthly Meeting, recommend- ino; him to that of Wellino-borouojh, it is ' certified that his con- duct, so far as it was known to his friends, was sober, unblamable, and consistent with our christian profession. Here I may mention a little incident which occurred in one of his journeys from Sheffield to Wellingborough, and which, though trivial in itself, he often adverted to with interest and pleasure. Riding on horseback near the town of Market Harborough, he overtook an elderly man, whose appearance was that of a shepherd or labourino; husbandman. There was somethino; in the honest simplicity of his countenance, which so aiTested my father's atten- tion, that he slackened his pace, in order to let the stranger again come up with him, and when he did so, was somewhat surprised at his accosting him in the language peculiar to our Society. A conversation folloAved, in which my father was so interested, that he prevailed on his companion to stay at the next town and take some refreshment with him. It appeared that this aged friend was going to London from one of the dales of Yorkshire, where he lived on a small farm of five pounds per annum. The product of this farm maintained himself and a sister who kept his house, whilst another sister, who boarded with them, paid him sixteen pence per week for her maintenance. They manufactured their own wool for clothing, and lived chiefly on milk and vegetables. Having been this year unusually successful with his flock of twenty-eight sheep, he was anxious to attend the Yearly Meeting. He said that some of his friends at Kendal had been solicitous about his undertaking so long a journey on foot, with his slender means ; and they had kindly furnished him with the names of several friends who would accommodate him with a meal or lodging, but that, in general, he did not feel freedom to avail himself of this ; he had, mostly, sought refresh- ment at small inns, and though in some of these he had not been very well received, he seemed to be cheerfully pursuing his 8 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. joiimey. The contentment and independence of this worthy man, in his very humble circumstances, made a lasting impression on the mind of my father, who, several years afterwards, ascer- tained him to be an esteemed minister in our Society ; his name, John Arker. It appeared that he died shortly after his return home from this journey. When my dear father was settled at Wellingborough, though he foimd comfort in the performance of his relative duties and in the company of his mother and sister, to whom he was tenderly attached, he met with great trials from various causes. At Sheffield, he had enjoyed many social and religious privileges ; but in the small meeting of which he was now become a member, there were few, if any, vvith whom he could associate with satisfaction. In 1 773, he was deprived by death of his valuable mother. He felt this loss acutely ; and, to advanced life, cherished her memory with an affection truly filial. His aged father and his sister ^lary still remained with him ; and he continued to carry on the business, or such parts of it as did not produce uneasiness in his mind. The furnishing of funerals, a veiy profitable branch of it, carried on by his father, he was best satisfied to decline, a»s inconsistent with the simplicity professed by Friends ; and, in general, he directed his attention chiefly to the sale of useful, substantial articles, rather than of such as are merely showy and ornamental. But, though his income was by this means cu-cumscribed, he had a prospect of moderate success, from his diligence and exertion, when a cir- cumstance occurred, which threatened to involve him in serious difficulty. The owner of the hoiise in which he resided, was a man of property, and having brought up one of his sons to the business of a di'aper, he gave his tenant notice to quit the premises, within a very short period. At that juncture, there was no situation to be procured in the town, eligible for business. The only house that could be obtained, was in a poor street, out of the way of the market, and altogether unfavourable for the establishment of a shop. His neighbours considered it a hopeless undertaking, especially as he would have a monied competitor in the young man who was to succeed him. The house to which my deal- father removed, was in a niinous condition, and needed great repairs to make it at all tenantable. His sister wept at the idea MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 9 of leaving their comfortable home for this uninviting place, where they became settled about the year 1774. For a considerable time, the business declined ; the young man who had entered on the former shop, using every means in his power to secure the cus- tomers. During this time of trial and discouragement, my father was favoured to maintain a reliance on that good Hand which had hitherto cared for him, and to persevere in a course of con- scientious integrity, abstaining from all attempts to injure his opponent, which he considered incompatible with the christian rule. After some time the young man failed from imprudent attempts to extend his business, when my father's customers gradually returned, so that at the end of a few years he had the prospect of making a competent livelihood, and was able to improve his house and roomy premises, until it became a truly comfortable and convenient home. In the year 1775, his affectionate feelings met with another severe trial in the death of his sister Mary, about the thirty-third year of her age ; and in the year 1777, his father was also removed by death. He was now left alone, having no near relative remaining, and few, if any, friends in his neighbourhood to whom he could open his feelings with intimate freedom. But in this time of deep proving of faith, when it pleased the Lord to exercise him with gi-eat afflictions, and to lead him in a solitary way, his eye was steadily fixed on that Almighty Helper whom he had found to be a God keeping covenant ; and in his holy fear, he was favoured to experience preservation ; so that from the testimony of those who knew him at this period, it may be said, that in his humble walking and his circumspect life and conversa- tion, he was an example to the believers, and became gradually qualified to be more extensively useful to others. The state of religion in the meetings around him, was lament- ably low. There was great slackness of discipline, and moral disorders had crept in ; whilst amongst those who lamented it, there were few who had courage or zeal to stand forward for the maintenance of good order. The mind of my dear father was deeply affected ; and great was the exercise and burden of his spirit on account of the backsliding state of the church. He felt that he was young and inexperienced, whilst some of those who 10 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. were active in the affairs of the Society, had long been looked up to, and were advanced in years ; though it is to be feared they had lost much of their best strength, by suffering a tempoiizing spirit to becloud their judgment and weaken their resolution. But as he sought after the qualifydng influences of the divine Spii'it, and desired, in deep humility of heart, to learn of that blessed SaA^our who declared himself to be meek and lowly, he was favoui'ed not only to find seasons of refresliment to his weary and son'owful soul, but was also enabled to piit on strength in the name of the Lord, and to support with firmness and dignity, what he apprehended to be the cause of truth and righteousness. It Avas probably about this period, but the date is not exactly known, that my father experienced a preservation, of which he spoke in after life with a deep feeling of humble gratitude. On a fine morning in the Second Month, he walked to Kettering, seven miles, to attend the Monthly Meeting. Soon after he set out on his retui-n home, snow began to faU, which increased to an almost blinding degi-ee, the wind drifting it into his face. In a short time the ground was so thickly covered, that it became diflicidt to distinguish the road, which lay through an unenclosed district. He stopped at the door of a small public-house, about half-way, to seek shelter for the night ; but finding there a com- pany of noisy, riotous people, he determined to go fonvard in the hope of reaching home. After walking a considerable distance, he found he had deviated widely from the road, although no ob- ject was in \iew whereby he could ascertain his exact situation. He had long looked in vain for anything which might mark the road ; and being one not much frequented, he might probably, in such a storm, have perished unseen by any person. Over- powered by cold, and fatigued with traversing heaps of diifted snow, he despaired of retracing his steps, and was ready to give himself up to that benumbing torpor which seizes on the frame of persons so exposed, when, casting an anxious look over the ex- tended space which spread itself around him, he perceived, at a considerable distance, a cart descending a hill. This welcome sight roused his sinking spirits ; and renewing his exertions, he at length succeeded in reaching it, and was conveyed liome. Whilst my dear father was left alone, as to kindred ties, in a MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 11 situation replete with trials and difficulties, he enjoyed the privi- lege of intimate friendship with some highly estimahle characters at a distance, particularly with Mary Brook of Leighton Buzzard, who was his cousin, and with Ruth Fallowes of Castle Donning-ton. With the former, he maintained a constant correspondence. She was a woman of strong mind and acute penetration ; and her judicious counsel on many occasions, was highly valued by her younger friend. My father met with another trial in his temporal affairs, from the conduct of a young man who had served his apprenticeship with him, and had conducted himself during that time much to the satisfaction of his master. He was the son of a Friend living within the compass of Wellingborough Monthly Meeting, and his parents professed a particular friendship for my father. On the expiration of his term, however, they recommended him to open a shop in the same line of business at Wellingborough ; but, with a show of consideration, intimated that it was not to be done without the approval of his late master. My father observed, that he held it as a principle of common justice, that every man had a right to seek an honest livelihood wherever he might think himself most likely to obtain it ; and that, on this account, he had never made it a stipulation vdih his apprentices that they should not interfere with him in this respect ; that, consequently he could place no impediment in the young man's way, if they thought Wellingborough the most eligible place for him ; at the same time, mentioning to them several other places where he considered there was a much fairer opening, than in a small town adequately supplied already with shops in their line. The determination of the young man was, however, already taken, and the shop was opened. He was a person of good address, and, from his intimate knowledge of my father's business and long acquaintance with his principal customers, with some of whom he had been endeavouring to ingratiate himself, he soon succeeded in establishing a business ; and his success told, at the end of a year, in the diminished income of my father. This was discouraging, especially at a time when he was looking towards a change in his situation, by marriage, but it was the habit of his pious and upright mind, to refer all outward circum- 12 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. stances to that providential care and guidance, which he had so remarkably experienced in his solitary course. He had a firm reliance on the gracious promise of our blessed Saviour, that to those who seek first his kingdom and its righteousness, all things needful shall be added, and was enabled, in a more than ordinary manner, to commit his temporal concerns in faith, to the good hand of that God who clothes the lilies of the field, esteeming a little, with his blessing, better than all the treasures of a deceitful world. The young man soon became elated with his prosperity ; and, having married a wife with some property, began to feel less inclined for daily attendance behind the counter. He now added the corn trade to his other business, and frequented the markets of the neighbouring towns : in this way, he gradually acquired a relish for unprofitable company, and was easily induced by travellers in business, to spend his evenings with them, at their inns : the fatal habit of drinking followed, and his too much ne- glected business gradually forsook him. My father, who ever acted towards him the part of a true friend, did what lay in his power to awaken him to a sense of his danger, and of the duty he owed to his wife and young family, but without efi'ect, and a few years saw him brought to beggary. His wife, for whom my dear parents felt much sympathy, and who was an object of their care and kind- ness, died, it was believed, of a broken heart. I have a little anticipated the order of time, to bring the history of this individual to a conckxsion, because it is one, which, in its mournful particulars, is calculated to convey much instruc- tion to the inexperienced traveller in the journey of life. My father sincerely grieved for him, for though he had undoubtedly felt his ungenerous conduct towards himself, he had too much true nobility of character, to cherish anything like exultation in the downfal of one who had injured him. That which he felt most deeply was the disappointment of the hopes he had once entertained, that this young man, under the influence of religious pi'inciple, might have made a valuable and useful member of society ; and the painful reflections produced in the review of his unhappy career, stimulated his own mind to increased watch- fulness, and to a more diligent and prayerful dependence on that gTace which only can keep us from falling. MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 13 In the year 1 783, my father's marriage took place ; but here, I must suspend the narrative of his life, to give some account of the early years of one who proved to him a true helpmeet, in the fullest sense of that term, — one, to whom those who knew her intimately in the characters of wife and mother, were often ready to apply the beautiful words of Solomon, " Many daughters have done virtuously', but thou excellest them all," and whose children to the latest period of their lives, must "call her blessed." My beloved mother's maiden name was Tabitha Hoyland ; she was the daughter of John and Sarah Hoyland of Sheffield, and the eldest of their children. She had four brothers ; William, John, Thomas and Joseph. My grandmother died when her daughter was about twelve years old. On this occasion, John and Elizabeth Massey of Spalding, in Lincolnshire, took my mother, for a year or more, to their house. They were friends of her parents, and she often spoke, in her more advanced life, of the kindness shown her under their roof, and of the advantage she had derived from the instructions of E. M. at this period, when she was deprived of a mother's care. It appears, from some of her letters, that her mind was early visited by the tendering influences of the Holy Spirit, and that, at this period of her life, she was led to desire the favour and protection of her Heavenly Father, in the words of J acob, when on his way from the parental roof, he made covenant with the God of his fathers ; "If God will be with me, and will keep me in this way that I go," &c. After her return from Spalding, she remained at home, and pur- sued her education with her brothers. She made some progress with them in the Latin language, and had a relish for it, in advanced life. William Tuke of York, had married her aunt, Elizabeth Hoyland ; she was deceased, but from W. T. and his second wife, Esther Tuke, my mother always experienced the most affectionate kindness, and she felt their house as another home. With her cousins, the children of her aunt, she maintained the closest intimacy, especially with the eldest daughter Sarah, after- wards wife of Robert Grubb, of Clonmel. To this cousin, most of her early letters are addressed, and they spent much time together, both at Sheffield and York. In the society 14 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. and fiiendship of these excellent relatives, the religious im- pressions which had been made upon her mind at an early period, were strengthened, and as her character gradually un- folded, the work of divine grace became increasingly evident, in the humility, meekness and circumspection of her conduct, and in a conscientious desire to fulfil her relative, social and relifrious duties, in the fear of the Lord. William Tuke was a man of true nobility of mind, remarkable not only for sound judgment and religious stability, hwi for generosity, disinterestedness and the most unshrinking integiity : he was a valuable elder in our Society. His wife, Esther Tuke, was a minister, and travelled much, in that character, in various parts of England and Scotland. She was a woman of strong intellectual powers, and of a very lively disposition, greatly interested in young people, and much beloved by them. Being somewhat infii'm, she was much in the practice of taking with her one of the many young women who felt it a privilege to enjoy her friendship, when she travelled in religious service. My mother's home duties did not admit of her being often absent, but I believe, on more than one occasion, she was her companion, and they constantly maintained a very lively and confidential coiTespondence. ]\Iy mother had also an intimate and beloved friend in Mary Barnard of Upperthorpe, near Sheffield, a young woman who is said to have united a superior and cultivated understanding, with those chi-istian gi'aces which promised to render her a tnily estimable and useful character : but the expectations of her friends were blasted by her death, which took place not long after her marriage with John Dickenson, of Beverly. I do not know the exact date of my grandfather's second man-iage ; but this step was, in some respects, a trial to his children ; but under these circumstances, I have heard it remarked by those who had the best opportunity for observation, that my mother's conduct was most exemplary. To her brothers, she acted more than a sister's part, and they always regarded her with respect and alFection. The trials that attended the early years of my dear mother, did not pass over, without impressing on her awakened and reflecting mind, many lessons of deep and lasting instniction. MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 15 Slie was already a disciple in the school of that Saviour who " pleased not Himself," who "came not to be ministered unto, but to minister ; " and as she waited in humility to know his will, and sought for the teachings of his Spirit, she learned to sacrifice her own will and gratification to the wishes or the convenience of others, keeping in view their highest interests ; and thus, practically, to fulfil that exhortation of the apostle, ' ' Let every one of us please his neighboui-, for his good to edification." She felt that she was not her own, but that having been bought with a price, even the precious blood of Christ, she must, no longer live to herself, but unto Him who died for her and rose again ; and the prevailing desire of her heart was, in the retirement of her own sphere of duty, meekly and unobtrusively, to occupy with every talent committed to her trust. But it pleased the great Head of the church, who selects his instruments as He sees meet, to call her into a more public line of service, and after many deep preparatory baptisms and much conflict from the natui'al difl&dence of her disposition, she came forth in the character of a minister of the gospel. Her communications were simple, clear and edifying, and much to the satisfaction of her friends, with whose sanction and unity she travelled, in religious service, in various parts of England. One of her first journeys was, I think, with her cousin Sarah Tuke, in Lancashire; afterwards through Scotland with Catherine Trickett of Sheffield. My dear father knew something of my mother and her family, from his own residence at Sheffield, but it does not appear that he had much acquaintance with her till a sulisequent period. His letters to her, before their marriage, prove his deep and religious concern to conduct this important affair in the fear of God, and with a pious reference to his guidance and direction ; whilst my dear mother entered into the consideration of it with an earnest and prayerful desire to know what was the divine will respect- ing her. With the approval of her relatives (her father was not then living) they were united in marriage at Sheffield, on the 29th of Fifth Month, 1783. The change was great in many respects. The large meeting in which she had resided, contained at that time many valuable and interesting characters ; it was also the home of all her brothers, so that the sacrifice MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. of society was considerable. At Wellingborough, the meeting was altogether a small one, and of the few Friends who resided in the town, there were none who were likely to be very con- genial associates, or to contribute much to her satisfaction ; but her well-regulated mind needed not the stimulants that are often sought for by the young, in social gratifications. In the daily discharge of her domestic, relative and religious duties, she found the most substantial satisfaction, and in these, it might be truly said, her conduct adomed the doctrine of God her Saviour. Youi- dear aunt, Hannah Middleton, was born at Welling- borough, the 9th of Ninth Month, 1786. As she was several years older than myself, I cannot give any account, from my own observation, of her early childhood ; but have heard it remarked by others, that she was lively, affectionate, and of a timid dis- position. Her elder brother, John, was exceedingly fond of her, and delighted in her company. He was a very active, intelligent boy, but died of scarlet fever, whilst at school at Hitchin, in the year 1793, when he was little more than nine years old. His death was a hea\'y affliction to his parents ; and though they were enabled to bow ^vith christian submission to the stroke, it was long before the spirits of my dear mother fully recovered from the shock they had sustained. On her return from Hitchin, after attending her dear John, her anxiety was again called forth, by my sister sickening of the same complaint, and, for some time, her life was considered in imminent danger. It pleased our Heavenly Father, however, to bless theii" efforts for the recoveiy of this interesting child, and her sweet society must have been a gTeat solace to her affectionate parents. They were very solicitous to do the utmost in their power for the education of their children, and paid gTeat attention them- selves to the cultivation of our minds, when very young. It was my dear father's practice, to instruct us in his leisure hours, and to elicit habits of observation and reflection, by calling our atten- tion to the wonders of the di\dne hand in the works of creation. There was no Friend's school at Wellinoborouo-h, and it was likely, after the death of their dear boy, it would require no small effort to resolve on sending another to any distance. We there- fore went to such day schools as a smaU to^vn afforded, for in- MEMOIKS OF MAUI A FOX. 17 struction in reading, writing, English grammar and arithmetic, and had a French master from Northampton once a week. My dear mother used to sit vnth. us at our French lessons, and took great interest in our progress. When my dear sister was thirteen years of age, it was concluded to send her, for a year, to York, where there was a good school, under the superintendence of my mother's uncle, W. Tuke, and his family. I have often heard her allude to this, as a great advantage to her in many ways. Being of an extremely sensitive and retu'ing disposition, she was more than usually dependent on the tender care of her mother, and felt it a peculiar trial to be separated from her ; nevertheless, when the effort was once made, she settled very comfortably at school, and going to it with a mind prepared to receive and profit by instruction, made gi'eat progress during the short time of her stay. In the year 1800, she returned to Wellingborough, and became a very useful assistant to her mother in the domestic business of the family, continuing also the diligent improvement of her mind, by reading and other branches of study. At this early period of life, she was more than usually thoughtful and serious, so that I have heard my dear mother express the comfort she derived from the belief, that the work of divine grace was going forward in the heart of this beloved child, who was peciiliarly endeared to her by the dutifulness and stability of her deport- ment, and by her affectionate desire to contribute, in every possible way, to the comfort of her parents. When about twenty-one years of age, she had an offer of mar- riage from a young man who had served his apprenticeship to my father, and who was then settling in business for himself A mutual attachment had been formed, and the character of tbe young man and his family were unexceptionable, but his health was extremely delicate. This circumstance, combined with my dear sister's youth, made it appear advisable that the affair should be suspended for a time ; a conclusion, quite in unison with her own judgment and wishes, she being veiy reluctant to look, even distantly, at a separation from her mother. This separation was, however, permitted to come upon us, in a most unexpected and affecting manner, in the autumn of 1809. My sister and myself c 18 MEMOIRS OF MAKIA FOX. had returned from a visit to oiir relations in Yorkshire only a few days, when our beloved mother was taken ill of what at first seemed little more than a cold, but which proved to be typhus fever, and in about ten days, her valuable life was terminated. The disease had proceeded in so insidious a manner, that little apprehension was felt by the medical attendant until very near the solemn close. The event which thus deprived her afflicted family of a truly estimable wife and mother, occurred on the 18th of the Tenth Month, 1809.* Such was the character and rapid progress of the disorder, that little opportunity was afforded for expression on the part of the beloved sufferer, yet sufficient to prove, that in this awful season, her mind was sweetly staid on God her Saviour. * Mary Alexander, who arrived at the house a few days after the event, thus alhides to her visit, in a letter to a friend :— " We had not obtained the smallest intimation of the situation of the family, till we got into the house, when we were met by E. J. Wheeler, whose countenance plainly indicated something important Greatly surprised we were, on being informed, that after two weeks' illness, our much esteemed friend, Tabitha Middleton, had closed lier valuable life. Dear B. M. and his children re- ceived us with much composure, and we spent a very interesting evening in the house of mourning. Before we left them this morning, I felt bound to yield to a season of retirement, and in it, to offer the tribute of sym- pathy which lived in my heart towards them, accompanied with a per- suasion, that not only a glorious mansion was prepared for the dear deceased, but that those wlio remained to lament her departure, were, in a particular manner, under the protecting wing of ancient Goodness." 1809.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA VOX. 1.9 CHAPTER II. 1809 — 1819. Reminiscences of her chcaracter by contemporaries — Letters and memoranda — Essay on mental cultivation — Death of her father — Letters referring to this event — Botanical and other pursuits. At the time of her mother's decease, Maria Middle- ton was in her seventeenth year. Not any of her letters, nor any memoranda of a date previous to this event, have been preserved, nor have we anything written by^ herself at a subsequent period, that throws much light on her childhood and earlv vouth. One of her school-fellows writes respecting her; " She was one of whom I retain a sweet remembrance ; the purity of her character was such as to make her live in our best recollections. There was one girl in the school, particularly refractory ; dear Maria, instead of avoiding her, as others of her com- panions did, thought she would do what she could for her reformation, and undertook the general care of her. Several times do I recollect joining her, while we retired with a candle, behind the curtains in the diniug-room, that we might be unobserved, whilst we read the bible and explained its contents to this naughty child. While thus principled, I remember her as a cheerful, happy girl, and one who was generally beloved by her com- panions." In the absence of further particulars, the following sketch of her character by another of her contemporaries will be found interesting : — " I have no very clear re- collection of our beloved M. much before the death of c 2 20 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1809. her estimable mother, a person whom I conceived to possess uncommon solidity of religious character, and a remarkably meek and quiet spirit. I was staying with them just before her last illness, and recollect the pains she sometimes took with her lively daughter, to calm the impetuosity of her spirit : but still I can call to mind hardly anything that was positively unamiable, or that in the warmth of my attachment to her, I was not disposed to overlook. Our dear cousins were trained in habits of great simplicity, becoming the Christianity of their excellent parents, and they were accustomed to a good deal of domestic employment, in which it was ray delight and that of my sisters to assist them, when we had opportunity ; and I think we had no greater treat than a visit to their hospitable dwelling, where the maxim was verified, that 'sense always shines most, when it is set in humility.' Their mental improvement, by access to books, &c., was always promoted by Iheir parents. Dear M. possessed a very ardent mind and lively imagination, with a strong inclination for literary pursuits and poetry ; whatever she engaged in, was con- sequently pursued with great earnestness, so as some- times to require a little parental interference. With a mind that so eagerly grasped its object, — with a memory uncommonly retentive, and with habits of steady per- severance, notwithstanding the comparatively few ad- vantages of an intellectual kind offered to the young at that day, her talents could not fail to be cultivated, and her mind enriched. Her vivid fancy, — her powers of description, — her facility in conveying to those around her, the information she possessed on a variety of sub- 1809.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 21 jects, united with a heart full of benevolent emotions, rendered her a most delightful companion in the social and domestic circle ; and 1 cannot forget, in the little visits to their friends and acquaintances, in which I was only an admiring spectator, the influence she then had on the comj)any, by her powers of conversation." The same intimate friend proceeds to say ; — " Happily for her safety and preservation, and the comfort of her dear father, her mind was gradually brought under the power of divine grace, as her correspondence and poetical effusions will show ; and though some of her friends might at times fear, lest in the warmth of her feelings, her expressions should exceed the measure of her experience, it was not long before they had satisfac- tory evidence, that under the chastening hand, her religious character was increasing in strength and solidity ; for when the influence of parental care and example were about to be withdrawn, her Heavenly Father saw fit to introduce her into such a course of discipline, even in the school of affliction, as under the divine blessing, greatly tended to her subjection and refinement. After a time of domestic trial, dear M.'s health became very delicate, with strong indications of consumption, during which period, her peculiarly sus- ceptible mind, connected with a delicate nervous system, often yielded to feelings of discouragement ; but I believe it was sweetly evident to others, that the Lord was near, carrying on his own work, and bringing her to an establishment on the one foundation." The first letter, from which an extract is inserted, was addressed, two months after the decease of her 22 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1810. mother, to a near relative; the next was written, during her absence from home, for change of air, when symptoms of delicacy began to awaken the solicitude of her friends. To E.J. w. Wellingborough, Twelfth Month 18th, 1809. My doubly endeared Cousin ! Thy cordial letter was very salutary to me, as a proof of thy continued affectionate sympathy, under the pressure of the present afflictive dispensation What can we say, but that He who gives, has an undoubted right to take away, when and Avhat • ever He pleases ; and since He has, in unerring wisdom, seen meet to deprive us of our most aifectionate and tender mother, and to allot us a cup of suffering, Oh ! that He may enable us, and oiu" tenderly beloved sui"vi\ang parent, to place our dependence on Him who alone is able to raise above the trials of the day ; and whatever be our portion, humbly to submit, and " in every thing to give thanks." Excuse, my beloved cousin, these un- expected effusions of a heart overflowing with a grateful sense of thy kindness, and believe me, with the warmest affection, thy Maria. To E. T. Leighton Buzzard, I8th of Tenth Month, 1810, My father and sister, ever solicitous for my welfare, promoted my compljing with my cousin H. G.'s invitation, and accordingly I quitted the paternal roof, with sensations of deep reoret ; for I do assure thee, it was no small trial to me, to be so soon separated from my beloved sister, whose retui'n I had anticipated with the most pleasing expectation, and in whose endearing society, I had promised myself so much enjoyment ; but perhaps it may be wisely intended, to teach me still more, the uncertainty of all earthly pleasures, and I sincerely wish I may be enabled 1811.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 23 to bear every dispensation of affliction, that an all-wise Providence may appoint me, with a becoming degree of resignation ; though our prospect that seemed to be brightening, is again permitted to be overcast. However, there is still a great deal to claim our humble thankfulness ; our relatives here are extremely kind, and my health is certainly better, and I hope to return to my dear, dear home, the latter end of next week ; but of this I am uncertain. My dear E. will think that I fill my paper with little beside myself, but I must pour into thy sympathising bosom, some - of the sensations which swell my own. This is the anniversary of the day that broke asunder one of the tenderest ties of nature, and deprived us of the most affectionate of mothers ; long, very long, mayst thou enjoy that maternal tenderness, of which, we are for ever deprived Thy sincerely affectionate friend and cousin, M. MiDDLETON. MEMORANDA. 1811. When I consider, how little progress I have made in the spiritual journey, and how much I have remained an idle gazer on the light of heaven, I am ready to consider myself, indeed, an outcast from the heavenly fold. And shall I, who have received such innumerable mercies, such unmerited bounties from the fountain of goodness, wilfully quit the divine protection ? 0 my Father ! (if I may presume to use that endearing appellation) Thou considerest the weakness of our frame, — Thou rememberest that we are dust ; bless me with a portion of thy life-giving presence, detach me more and more from the varied snares of life, and enable me to pursue, with unremitting ardour, the one thing needful. "Feed me with food convenient for me." Oh, that this may more and more become the fervent prayer of my soul ! Thou, 0 Father! who surveyest the inmost recesses of my heart, and before whom, my most secret inclinations stand unveiled, Thou knowest my real wants ; be pleased to administer that food which is convenient for me ; let me not repine, though it should be "the 2t MEMOIRS OV MARIA FOX. [1811. bread of adversity, and the water of affliction." If Thou art graciously pleased to support me by thy sustaining presence, I \nl\ fear no e^il, for thy favour is better than life, and thy lo"ving kindness than ten thousand rivers of oil. The following memorandum refers to the circum- stance of their quitting their former residence, associ- ated as it was with many interesting and affecting re- collections, for another in the same town. (Without date.) And am I then so soon to quit these scenes forever dear! — ^these tranquil scenes which have witnessed my sweetest pleasures, — which have beheld my deepest soiTOWS ; where my heart has expanded with rapture, in the possession of innu- merable blessings, and where it has poured forth its sighs and tears, under the pressure of deep calamity. I go — but Oh ! let me cast my care on Him who clotheth the hlies of the field, and without whose knowledge, not even a sparrow falls to the gTound. If I may but repose under the shadow of the mighty Rock, what need I fear ! What shall I want, if the unchanging, the immutable One be my strong tower and my refuge. He, to whom the inmost thoughts of our hearts lie open, sees what is necessary for us, and though He is administering a cup of trial, may I be enabled to take it, with holy reverence, from his all bounteous hand, seeing that He does not wiUingly afflict the children of men. Oh! that my afflictions may fully answer the gracious pm'poses for which they were intended ! Wean me, 0 Father ! more* and more fi-om earth ; enable me to view, with contempt, the most blandishing of its allurements, and humbly to direct the eye of hope towards futurity ; and whenever it shall please Thee to cut the \dtal cord and dissolve this frail existence, receive my trembling soul, 0 Lord ! into one of thy eternal mansions. Twelfth Month. Oh I the varied, the delusive stratagems of oiu" unwearied foe ! How often are my best resolutions overwhelmed by the wily temptations of the power of darkness ! Deliver me, 0 Lord ! from the wretched capti\aty. 1812.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 25 25#A of Ninth Month, 1812. This morning, I discovered con- siderable impatience, on a very trivial occasion, in my behaviour to persons, towards whom it was peculiarly unbecoming. The whole of the day has been marked by too great levity, and indif- ference to the most important subjects ; may I be enabled, on future occasions, to guard, with closer circumspection, the avenues of my heart ! To M. R. Wellingborough, Foui-th Day Evening. My dear M. It is so pleasant to compare notes occasionally, with respect to our simple but delightful studies, that I cannot help writing now and then, to tell thee how I go on. As we strolled through a furzy kind of common or sheep-walk, since our dear E. has gladdened our hearts with her enlivening presence, our eyes were attracted by the bright hue of the Agaricus Aurantins, which I had not before seen. This is the name, however, we gave, on attentive examination, to the specimen we brought home, and I think it answered the description given of this species, with a precision that marked its character decisively. I wish thou couldst assist me to discriminate accurately, between the two divisions of stem — hollow and solid, this being, I think, my principal difficulty ; those arranged under the head solid, being frequently said to be cylindrical. But the great axiom, that " difficulties are of no weight against demonstrations," encourages me to persevere ; — not, indeed, that I expect ever to attain much knoMiedge of the minute forms of beauty comprehended in the class Cryptogamia, but so much acquaintance with nature's works as is compatible with the proper discharge of various and more important duties, is highly desirable. If I were called upon to say, which are the pleasures that are the most free from earthly alloy, I would instantly name those which are derived from the contemplation of the works of nature and of pro\'idence : observe, I do not take into account those enjoyments which are not of earthly origin, but which flow only from the communion that is " with the Father and with the Son." These must always in- 26 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1813. finitely excel all others, in proportion as the Creator is above all that is created Thy truly affectionate M. M. To B. H. "Wellingborough, Ninth Month 21st, 1813. My beloved Aunt, Though thy very kind letter has been answered by proxy, I cannot feel satisfied, now I have again rejoined the dear circle of domestic happiness, without saying for myself, how highly I value so sweet a proof of thy affectionate remembrance. It is now about three weeks since I returned from my long vagrancy, to the social joys of kindred and of home. Six weeks of it passed swiftly away with my dear friends at Kennington ; two amongst the kind friends at Uxbridge ; and two more under the hospitable roof of dear J. S. at Tottenham. The society there is very interesting. I paid several visits with much pleasure ; but to mention all the agreeable friends to whom I was introduced during my absence, would fill the sheet. Perhaps, E. told thee of our ride to Jordans, which occupied one morning whilst at Uxbridge. If thou imagine a rustic and neat meeting-house, situated in a sheltered glen, concealed on one side by a wood, whilst on the other, lies the tranquil spot of ground which con- tains the remains of Pennington, Penn and Ellwood, and many other departed worthies, thou wilt conceive the reflections with which we trod the venerable soil, whilst a variety of circumstances conspired to render them more exquisite. No sound of human habitation interrupted the solemn stillness of this resting place of death ; the day was very calm though cloudy, and the occasional breakinof forth of the sunbeams, with now and then a silent shower of soft rain, heightened the effect. It was affecting, in a much greater degree than all the escutcheoned pomp of West- minster Abbey, though a visit to that too, was highly interesting ; but it produced very different feelings, and I could not but draw a comparison in my mind, between the turf graves of those pious, peaceable christians, and all the monumental splendom* which loads the tombs of what the world calls heroes. We visited 1814.] MEMOIES OF MAllIA FOX. 27 many of tlie public edifices of our admirible and stately metro- polis ; but all its attractions, which are many, did not damp my love of country scenes and rural pleasures. Windsor Castle, which is indeed a fit residence for royalty, excited and gratified our curiosity ; and the view from Richmond Hill of the silver meanderings of the beautiful Thames, charmed us exceedingly, and recalled Thomson's correct and elegant description of it. Our beloved father is much as usual ; he unites in dear love to you all, with thy warmly attached and interested niece. Maria. The following thoughts on the duty and advantages of mental cultivation, were committed to paper at the request of a friend. At the present time, when the diffusion of knowledge is be- come an object of general attention, and when efforts are being made, on an extended scale, to carry the blessing of education into the lowest huts of poverty, does it not become more peculiarly the duty of those who occupy a somewhat higher station in society, to direct their energies to the cultivation of the mind, — to the expansion of those intellectual faculties, with which the great Author of our being has dignified his creature, man, and which were undoubtedly bestowed upon him for great and noble purposes, that he might employ them, under the regulating influence of religious principle, to the praise of his Creator, and to the improve- ment of his species. The pursuit of laudable and useful science appears to be fraught with results of no ordinary importance ; not only multi- plying advantageous discoveries, but by the acquirement of languages, facilitating communication between the most remote regions of the earth, and thereby gradually preparing the M-ay for the more complete fulfilment of the glorious promises of the gospel. Some persons object, and perhaps with too much reason, that the acquisition of knowledge has frequently an injurious tendency upon the minds of young persons, who, imagining themselves prodigies of literature, become inflated with vanity, and render 28 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FuX. [1814. themselves ridiculous and disgusting. This may sometimes be the case, though it is not unlikely, that persons who are vain of their intellectual attainments, would have been vain of something- less honourable, had their understandings been suffered to remain un- improved. Let them only pursue their studies farther and farther, and they will find the fields of science so continually extending, and in every path so many precursors, who have left their puny achievments far behind, that they must discover much greater rea- son to be astonished and abashed at their o'mi comparative little- ness and ignorance, than to flatter themselves that they are wise. Perhaps the best means of obviating the objection, would be to furnish a practical illustration, that the acquisition of very im- portant branches of science, requires no abilities above the com- mon level, and that diligent application and steady perseverance often effect much more than the dazzling, but irregular flights of genius. The increased pursuit of knowledge would naturally diminish the force of the temptation. By becoming less rare, it Avill appear more necessary, and not so imposing. It will be worn as an essential article of dress, of which propriety does not allow the neglect, rather than as an ornament to glitter and to dazzle. But the good of mankind in general, is not the only advantage resulting from study. It invigorates the tone of the mind, and, next to the restraints of religion, furnishes the best preser- vative of virtue, by providing a sober and rational entertainment for those hours of leisure, which might otherwise be passed in the tumult of dissipation, or lost in the inanity of idleness. And certainly, to those who are, by wise regulations, excluded from the amusements of the gay, it would be highly desirable to become in some degree qualified to enjoy the society of the cultivated and intelligent. 1814. To E. R. Wellingborough, Third Month 2oth, 1814, Thy reflections on the approach of the day of days,* were to me of forcible application, and I do sincerely wish the * The anniversary of her own and her eorrespondeut's birth-days. 1814.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 29 future periods of my life, may be marked by a more steady pursuit of the only substantial good, of that " pearl of great price," com- pared with which, all the glittering enjoyments of a delusive M'orld are lighter than vanity. Memoiy, with her faithful pencil, delineates the varied scenes of the fleeting years that are gone by, and would fain indulge of " dear departed hours, the sadly sweet remembrance ;" and though much of the picture be shaded with a sombre tinge of sorrow, yet it is not destitute of many a fair and fragrant flower, appointed by our gracioiis Creator, to cheer and beautify the chequered mazes of this earthly wilder- ness, as well as to afford us an animating pledge of the unfading blossoms of that celestial paradise, which is brightened by a cloudless sun. Your veiy kind expression of sympathy with our beloved parent and ourselves, under the present dispensation of sufiering, was very grateful. I notice what thou sayst respecting my visiting Hitchin, and am obliged by thy kind invitation to do so ; but thou wilt see the propriety of our continuing at home, if by the exercise of filial duty, we can, in the smallest degree, alleviate afflictions, which it is out of our power to remove. Thy afiectionate friend, M. M. On the 12th of the Seventh Month, 1814, her venerable father was removed by death, under circum- stances of a deeply affecting character. For some years previously, he had been in a state of almost constant suffering, from the effects of a painful malady. This suffering, he bore with truly christian patience ; but as the disorder continued to gain ground, and without any probability of its being subdued by other than surgical means, he resolved at length, to sub- mit to an operation, and Sir Astley Cooper was accord- ingly sent for. He arrived on a First-day morning, attended by two other surgeons, just as the family reading was concluded. The portion of scripture that MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [18I.-). had been read, the hundred and second psalm, was indeed peculiarly appropriate to such an exigency. Sir A. C. was afterwards heard to remark, that on entering the room, he was much impressed with the entire com- posure with which he was received, differing so widely from that which he was accustomed to witness on such occasions. The operation was skilfully and safely per- formed, and hopes were entertained of the beloved sufferer's restoration ; but such was not the will of Him who doeth all things well; the vital powers became exhausted, and in about ten days after, the redeemed spirit returned unto God who gave it. To E. R. Wellingborough, First Day Evening. My DEAR E. R., As this is now the only medium, through which we have it in our power to converse with those friends who have so lately cheered us with the sweets of social enjoyment, I cannot forhear to avail myself of it, just to tell thee, that our little visit at Hitchin is recurred to mth much pleasure, and will long afford a topic of meditation and conversation, in that little solitaiy dwelling, which I know thy feeling heart will frequently induce thee ideally to visit. Many, my dear, were our sensations on returning to this dear abode, so recently stripped by the will of inscrutable wisdom, of its bright inhabitant, whose uniform tenderness was wont to diffuse happiness through our little circle, and who, amidst the severity of pain and anguish, could enter into every thing relating to the comfort of those around him. But why, my dear friend, should I sink thy spirits by a recital of our sorrows ? Why do I not tell thee of the many remaining blessings, of which I am unworthy, daily dispensed by the bounteous Hand that clotheth the lilies of the field ? Amongst the foremost of these, must be placed the friendship of those who are desirous of travelling in that path 181.-).] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 31 which has conducted the righteous of all ages to a happy im- mortality, rugged though it often be, and shaded by many a cloud of adversity ; yet, are not its light and comparatively momentary affictions, infinitely overbalanced by that " eternal weight of glory," which irradiates, with ineffable splendour, its blessed termination! Oh ! that we, my dear E., may be enabled to pursue it, and that the friendship we have long cherished, may ever be made subser- vient to our advancement, in that which alone can give it the stamp of unchangeable duration. Thy ever affectionate, Maria Middleton. To M. T. Wellingborough, lith of Seventh Month, 1815. My dear Cousin, The communications of friendship must always be sweet to those who are capable of appreciating the value and tasting the delights, of that sacred connexion, but are they not peculiarly so, when the mind is surrounded by sorrowful reflections, which, agonising as they are, it loves to dwell upon and cherish ? Be assured then, my dear M., that the sympathetic, the endearing language of fellow-feeling, that ran through thy last kind letter, was most welcome and gTatifying to me. You and we have, indeed, been partakers of the same cup of bitterness : we have mourned, and must ever mourn our loss, by the removal of parents who were truly "worthy of douole honour who, in their lives, ex- hibited a beautiful combination of christian virtues and graces, and, by their final close, furnished a glorious e^ddence of the suffi- ciency of that divine power, which is still able to extract the sting of death, and rob the grave of victory. They "were lovely and pleasant in their lives, and in their death they were not divided," but are undoubtedly become " fellow-citizens with the saints," dwelling within the peai'l gates of the new and heavenly Jerusalem, and for ever employed in singing the praises of the Lamb, who was their leader and their salvation. John's descrip- tion of this celestial city, to which thou alludes, is indeed highly beautiful. What an animating picture does it offer to the view ! 32 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1817. I am at times desirous, that I may not rest satisfied with con- templating the excellencies of my departed parents, but that I may constantly endeavom* to " walk by the same rule," and to " mind the same thing." This season is indeed to us, as well as you, fraught with melancholy recollections, and keenly revives those scenes of deep distress into which we were so lately plunged ; but have we not all experienced the goodness of that divine power, which is alone able to support the mind under affliction, and to prepare in it a degree of resignation to his holy will. Very affectionately thine, Maria Middleton. To E. W. Wellingborough, of Eleventh Month, 1817. My DEAE E., It seems so long, since I tasted the pleasure of communing in this way with thee, that I gladly seize upon the proposition made to-day, in our little circle, to send you a packet. I do not know, my dear, whether I ever thanked thee for thy kindness in fur- nishing me yaih. the names of the dubious grasses. I have looked mine over, and ticketed them accordingly. These pursmts, of coui'se, are suspended during this season of the year, though I can assure thee, I do not fail to feel a degree of rising ardour, at the sight of the mosses, the lichens, the fungi, &c., that fre- quently attract my notice and admiration, and excite the silent, but hitherto unavailing exclamation, — Oh ! that I did but under- stand you ! The wish is all I can boast at present ; but I am not without a secret hope, that if my dear E. was here, something more than fruitless wishes might be the result of our joint labours .... The mind, occupied with a long train of mournful reflections, and filled almost constantly with successive images of sadness, feels little inclination for many of those pursuits, into which it could once enter, with eagerness and delight ; but those which relate to nature, and the wonderful display of divine power in the structure of its various works, as they are the most pure in 1817.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA VOX. 33 their kind, and the most free from human mixture, so they furnish a dehcate enjoyment, to which we may occasionally turn, from the contemplation of a world, where our expectations are con- tinually liable to disappointment, and where vice and misery meet us in all directions. Oh ! that we may, in all things, be instructed, and be favoured to experience an establishment in that blessed fear, which is a fountain of life, preserving from the snares of death, that we may be preserved on the right hand and on the left, and be led in that path, which the vulture's eye hath not seen, nor the lion's whelp trodden it. Who can refrain, my dear E., from joining in the general sorrow that is now dispensed to this nation, in the aifecting and sudden removal of a princess, to whom we all looked with rising hope and expectation ? Who would wish to suppress the feeling of deep and sincere sympathy with her afflicted partner, who appears to have exhibited an engaging picture of conjugal tender- ness and affection ? There is something peculiarly affecting in this stroke : may all its wise and gracious, though inscrutable purposes, be fulfilled, and the cup sanctified to those who have to drink most deeply of its bitterness ! M. M. To E. R. Wellingborough, Eleventh Month 20th, 1817. .... Various, my dear E., have been the occupations that have passed upon " the many coloured wing of time," since we have been together, when the consoling and animating influence of friendship, and the pursuit of allowable pleasure, in the contem- plation of nature's works, have been blended with the tear of bitter reflection on the "evils that are in the world," which, whilst they press closely upon us, seem to utter loudly the language, " Watch ye and pray, lest ye enter into temptation." But amidst all the dark shades of the picture, we have been consoled and animated, I would also hope, lastingly in- structed, by the bright object offered to our view, in the " Memoii's of Dr. Buchanan." Our trio are, I think, agreed in concluding, that we have seldom read any biographical work with greater D 34 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1818. interest, and I should think no reflecting mind could follow him, through all the changes of his eventful and laborious life, without feeling its best desires renewed, and its courage, in some degree, stimulated, to seek after an availing possession of a measure of that holy and confirming faith, which rendered him so eminently patient in tribulation, rejoicing in hope, and "abounding in the work of the Lord." It is delightful to con- template men of various religious denominations, differing in their views on some points, yet walking by the same rule, and minding the same things ; keeping their eye fixed upon their one great Head, and, after endeavouring to do his will on earth, going, as we must believe, to form a part of the innumerable multitude, that compose his triumphant and glorified church Thy constant friend, M. MiDDLETON. To E. W. Wellingborough, Third Month 4th, 1818. Our feelings of regret in losing the sweet society of your dear fire-side, had arisen to such a height, that I am not certain whether they did not amount to something like murmuring ; but thy remarks indicated a frame of mind so much more becoming, that we were instantly reminded, how highly and thankfully we ought to appreciate the comforts that have been enjoyed, instead of complaining that this enjoyment is interrupted. The maternal shelter of thy dear mother, and the truly sisterly kindness of our beloved cousins, have indeed been more consoling to our afflicted minds than I am able to express, and the recollection of it is very sweet. May we be disposed to enumerate, with grateful hearts, the many blessings that are still permitted us ; but busy memory recalls those happy days, when all that is endearing in parental tenderness, awaited and welcomed our return, and thou wilt not wonder, my dear, that many an agonizing thought is connected with such pensive retrospections. But, even in privations which we must long keenly feel, we have abundant cause to adore that mercy which is unsearchable, and to rejoice that those, who were made meet for the divine presence, have been permitted to pass 1818.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 35 from the storms and tempests of this uncertain state, into that blessed and unchangeable rest which is prepared for the righteous, in the paradise of God Well, my dear E., we have not lived many years in this world, but long enough to know that it is a perplexed wilderness ; we have already trod many rugged paths, and know not what is still before us. That, however, is in better ordering than our own, and whatever may be the vicissitudes, the afflictions, we may be called to endure, may they be so sanctified by the operations of divine grace, as to produce the fruits of the Spirit, and then we shall have cause to rejoice in tribulation, and in every thing give thanks. To thee, my dear, I shall not make apologies, because I can write Avith entire freedom. I trust the tender friendship which has descended to us from our dear parents, may ever continue to cheer our passage through time ; may we render it subservient to the best of purposes, — " And one in heart, in interest and design. Gird up each other to the race divine." M. M To E. W. Wellingborough, Fourth Month 8th, 1818. Thou askest, whether we consider the history of the rich man and Lazarus, as a parable or a real fact. I do not know that we ever considered it before ; but it appears to us, to be as much a parable as that of the returning prodigal, the good Samaritan, &c. ; a specimen of that beautiful and impressive mode of incul- cating instraction, which was so frequently adopted by oui' Lord, wherein He enforces any doctrine by some striking illustration, drawn from probable circumstances and occurrences I wish I could have sent you a pamphlet we have recently read ; a sermon preached on the occasion of the death of our late lamented princess, by a celebrated Baptist preacher of Leicester, Robert Hall. I think you would have been pleased with the reflections he makes upon that affecting event, and with the sober and christian piety, that appears to breathe through the discourse. A sermon (if it can be called a sermon) on the same occasion, D 2 86 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1818. by Chalmers, was also sent to us ; hut this we did not at all like ; it seems to savour more of tlic politician than of the christian minister Thy affectionate, Maria Middleton. To E. W. Wellingborough, Fourth Month 29th, 1818. My deak E., I take this opportunity of returning thy hook, for the use of which I am much obliged. Mensuration of solids has afforded me some hoiu's of pleasing occupation, and the last sum was not finished till this mornins: I have been thinkino; about the parable of the rich man and Lazaras, since thou mentioned it. It does not appear to me, that it will bear the literal application made of it by M. Fletcher. It is vain for finite mortals, to attempt to lift the veil, which di\dne wisdom and goodness have drawn over the sublime and awful mysteries of the unseen world ; but thus much, perhaps, we are warranted in believing, that the angelic intelligences, who surround the heavenly throne, know at least as much of the works of their great Creator in this lower world, as may furnish them with an additional subject of adoration and praise. This opinion seems to be supported by a passage in Job, where the great Author of nature, after a magnificent description of the creation, says, " The sons of God shouted for joy;" which infers, they were witnesses of that great work ; and farther, by our blessed Lord, when he says, " There is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner that repenteth." See also 1 Cor. iv. 9, and 1 Tim. v. 21. There is, however, a passage in the Revelations, xiv. 10, that seems to favour the idea of the blessed spii-its knowing something of the evil world ; but these are mysteries we may safely leave in the ordering of wisdom that cannot err ; happy if we may be found striving to enter in at the strait gate, rather than curiously questioning about things that are concealed from us. My dear E. will excuse my prolixity upon this subject, and tell me her thoughts respecting it Thy constantly affectionate, Maria Middleton. 1819.1 MEMOIHS OF MARIA FOX. 37 To E. W. Wellingborough, Tenth Month 28th, 1818. We are obliged by the extracts from the corre- spondence of E. Tozer, and return them herewith. It is delightful to see a communion of spirit maintained between persons who diff er from each other in many points of belief ; it is so compatible with that diffusive principle of christian love, which encircles in its wide embrace, all the living members of the universal church. We have read more than half of " Richard Claridge," and feel in- debted to our dear cousins for introducing to our notice so truly instractive a Avork. The remarkable circumstances attending the life of this pious and exemplary christian, are more than interest- ing, and his various writings so valuable, that we cannot help wondering, we do not hear them more frequently spoken of. In- stances of persons being A^Uing to lay all their pecuniary ad- vantages, and the still more flattering allurements of literary distinction, at the foot of the cross, are rare in this age, though they were frequently found at the time our Society was first established. On reading the writings of our early Friends, the mind cannot but be forcibly struck with the contrast that is formed, by comparing the present state of the Society with that primitive simplicity of manners, that, may we not say, apostolic purity of life, which characterised many of its earliest members : these purchased the truth by large sacrifices, and proportionably appre- ciating its value, went on increasing in strength, until they were endued with such a measure of faith, as enabled them to quench the violence of fii-e, wax valiant in fight, and turn to flight the armies of the aliens. May such examples, my dear E., be a means of stimulating us to "watch and be sober," seeing the many proofs we have, that there is no safety without it Thy affectionate, M. MiDDLETON. To E. R. Wellingborough, Eleventh Month, 1819. My beloved E., I hoi)e it is neither the desire to offer customary words of con- dolence, nor the vain expectation of being able to suggest any 38 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1819. consoling reflection, that will not present itself in a much more forcible and appropriate manner to your minds, that induces me to take the pen, but a wish simply to convince our beloved friends, that we are not unmindful of them in the hour of aiiliction. It would, indeed, be the height of ingratitude, could we possibly forget those, who, on occasions of mourning, have administered the balm of sympathy, and soothed our sorrows with the assiduity of tender friendship ; and though we have never experienced the separation of the fraternal tie, since we were of an age to compre- hend its extent, or to appreciate its value, yet the waves of afflic- tion have so often passed over us, that we cannot be unprepared to participate in your sorrow. I would not, my dear friend, rudely touch a string that must long continue to vibrate in your bosoms, nor rashly intnide upon the privacy of that calmly mournful feeling, which is perfectly compatible with resignation to the di\ane will. We have indeed abundant cause to acc^uiesce in eveiy appoint- ment of unerring wisdom, seeing that our own views are so finite, and that He alone who knoweth all things, can determine what is best ; but more especially when those who have been afflicted on earth, are mercifully unclothed of mortality, and permitted to become inhabitants of that city which needeth not the light of the sun nor of the moon. Oh ! that the various privations we have severally experienced, may tend to unbind our affections from earth, and to elevate them to those objects which are enduring and eternal ! We shall be truly glad, my dear E., to hear from either of you, when you feel inclined again to take up the pen. Your nearly sympatliising and affectionate friend, M. MiDDLETON. 1822.] iMEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 39 CHAPTER III. 1820 — 1826. Removal to Southampton — Letters — First appearance as a minister — House of Refuge — Letters and memoranda — Visit to Channel Islands — Illness — Letters and memoranda — Poetry — Letters. In the summer of 1820, Maria Middleton and her sister passed some time at Southampton, and in the Isle of Wight. The beneficial effects on their health, derived from this visit to the southern coast, naturally suggested the consideration of a permanent removal to the former place. But the change was one, too serious in its nature, to be made without mature deliberation, nor could they venture on so important a step, as that of quitting the place of their birth, for a residence in another part of the country, without earnestly desiring that the Lord would be pleased to direct them in this matter, and choose their inheritance for them. Enabled, at length, to arrive at what they believed to be a right decision, they left Wellingborough in the spring of 1821, and settled at Southampton. Here, a new and enlarged sphere of usefulness opened before them, affording, in connexion with other circumstances, satis- factory evidence, that in this movement, they had not sought in vain for right direction. To E. W. Southampton, 16th of Twelfth Month, 1822. I hope my precious E. believes, that my heart is more true to the dictates of affection, than the pen has been prompt to acknowledge, or I should entertain a fear, that she woidd not look very favourably on this appearance of her tardy correspondent. 40 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1823. But I will not lose time in apologies for neglect, because I trust we know that we do indeed love each other, and this love, my dear cousin, is tenderly felt at the present time for you, accom- panied with such a degree of sympathy as I am capable of. Deeply and lastingly your hearts will, must feel, the separation of this tender and cherished tie ; but has not the painful stroke been accompanied with every consolatory circumstance ? Mixed indeed is the cup that is put into the hands of mortals ; but is it not a cup of blessing to those who desire, however feebly, that the divine will may be done ? Oh ! that no opposing disposition in us, may prevent our becoming of that number, to whom the sweet promise is given, that all things shall work together for their good. But then, there must be a constant pressing after a state of conformity with that blessed will ; and alas ! how many are the impediments, whilst encompassed with the infirmities of our frail and sinful nature. The power of divine grace, however, remains to be suf- ficient ; may we be increasingly engaged to seek for its heavenly support and guidance ! Why do I write thus, my dear E. ? Not because thou hast need of advice from me, or that I am capable of ofiFering it to any, but from a feeling of my own many and great deficiencies, and a fresh conviction, that there is but one way, that of complete subjection, whereby we must hope to experience the great work of sanctification to go on Thy tenderly attached, M. MiDDLETON. To M. W. Southampton, 2lst of First Month, 1823. We are returned to our sick-ward up stairs, but hope it will not be for long, as the prospect looks somewhat brighter than it did last week, when it w^as really discouraging ; but we must not leave off hoping, nor the endeavour to trust in that power and goodness which can, at any time, open the springs of healing, and in afflicting, will sustain, if there is but a sincere desire after perfect resignation. Oh ! if this blessed state were but our habitual experience, how^ much useless toiling and contriving would be spared ; and surely, we ought not to find it difficult to 1823.] MEMOIRS OF MAKIA TuX. 41 repose entirely on that will, which is not only unerring in wisdom, but unlimited in mercy. Alas ! we are ready enough to admit in theory, that the Judge of all the earth doeth right ; but M'hen shall we practically evince tliis belief, by our cheerful and thankful acquiescence in all that He is pleased to appoint and permit ? When shall we be able, from the heart, to say " Thy will, in all things, I approve. Exalted, or cast down ; Thy will, in every state, I love. And even in thy frown." M. M. To E. and M. R. Southampton, 30th of Third Month, 1823. My beloved E. and M. R., It was my wish to salute you in this manner, on the day that marked your entrance into another year, but was prevented by the recollection that the post would not serve ; and though it may appear rather awkward to send a birth-day greeting on the wrong morning, I cannot altogether regret the circumstance, as it enables me to thank my dear E. for her most friendly com- munication, just received. When it was brought from the hands of the post-man, bearing the sweet inscription of " Peace," my heart responded to the welcome gTatulation, and I can but answer, " Peace." May peace, my beloved friends, be upon and around your dwelling, shedding its benign influence, not only on the pre- sent, but on every succeeding year of life ; that peace which the world giveth not, and which is as the shadow of a cloud by day, and as a pillar of light by night, sheltering the mind from the beam of prosperity, and cheering it amidst the darkness of sorrow or adversity. Three times ten years have not passed over us, without producing the impression, that there is need of something to stay the mind, amidst the vicissitudes of this mortal state. Oh ! that we may be increasingly disposed to seek daily for a habitation in the only sure Refuge ; and then we shall feel a com- fortable assurance of all things working together for cood. Wc 42 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1823. know not how short or how long may be the future, or what may be the events it will imfold ; but all this is in the ordering of wisdom that cannot eiT, and of love that knows no limit ; and what can we desire more than to be the blessed subjects of this righteous government ! My dear E. need never apologise to her fiiend for unbosoming freely, whenever she feels inclined to do so. Be assured, I highly value the confidence of friendship, and en- tirely concur in the sentiment, that where love is, there is liberty. May we, my dear friends, endeavour to improve our intercourse, by stimulating each other in the pursuit of what is most important. A tie of close affection binds our hearts to yours, and I trast every revolving year will only add to its strength Truly yours, M. MiDDLETON. In the spring of 1823, Maria Middleton first spoke in public, in the character of a minister of the gospel. It is to be regretted, that no allusion to this event, is to be found in any of her memoranda or letters of that date ; but this deficiency is, in degree, supplied by some striking references to it, in subsequent parts of her diary. And here, it may be interesting to inquire, what were the effects produced on her general character and habits, by the exercise of an ofiice, which, among chris- tians generally, is restricted exclusively to men ; — whether it tended to withdraw her from the duties which peculiarly devolve on her sex, or in the slightest degree, to mar that delicacy and refinement of mind, which, in combination with true religion, constitute the loveliest ornament of the female character. To those who were intimately acquainted with her, we may confidently appeal, for an answer to this inquiry. So far from such being the result, it may, on the contrary. 1823.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. be truly said, that whilst " fervent in spirit, serving the Lord," she was exemplary and diligent in the per- formance of her domestic and relative duties, and that whilst she was not ashamed of the testimony of her Lord, her demeanour was at all times gentle, retiring and unassuming. To H. M. Southampton, I4th of Ninth Month, 1823, My beloved Sister, What a favour was it to part under such a comfort- ing, strengthening influence ! and how unworthy was such a poor, faithless creature as myself, to partake of sustaining bread, blessed and broken, as we cannot doubt, by the great Master ! Surely, it ought to humble us as into the dust. My poor mind had been so tossed and shaken, as to be ready to exclaim, " I am come into deep waters, where the floods overflow me but what a mercy, to be permitted to repose, though it may be but for a season, on the supporting evidence, that the Lord's mercies are indeed new every morning ! We have found it so, my precious sister. Have we not been wonderfully kept above the Avaves and the billows, even when they have lifted up their heads proudly, as ready to devour ? May we then seek after a grain of that living faith, which will enable us to trust in Him, who " sitteth upon the flood," who " sitteth King for ever," and say, with the sweet hymn,— " He, who has helped us hitherto, Will help us all our journey through ; And give us daily cause to raise New Ebenezers to his praise." Do not think I am got up into any mount, for indeed I seem stripped of almost every thing, but the painful sense of infirmities ; but to be permitted to feel a degree of quiet, is a favour we ought to commemorate Write soon, my very dear sister, and send thy address to thy tenderly affectionate, M. MiDDLETON, ^-i MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [182o. To H. M. Southampton, Ninth Month I9th, 1823. My beloved Sister, Thy letter was grateful as cold water to the thirsty traveller : the allusion applies only to its refreshing, reviving eificacy, for certainly it was in no other respect to be compared to cold water. Delightful it is to me, to receive good accounts of one so dear to my heart's warmest affections, and the desire of communicating fre- quently in this way with each other, prompts me to begin a letter, which may not be ended to-day. What lovely weather for you to begin your travel! thy M. M. rejoices in it on your account. When thou receivest this, I suppose you will be at Kingsbridge for the Quarterly Meeting. Do write, my dear, as soon as thou canst, and tell me all about your engagements, for I want to follow you mentally from place to place. The great Preserver will, I doubt not, be with you, and strengthen you for every exigence, re- newing your faith and patience, day by day ; for indeed, He is good, and " his compassions fail not." On Third-day, S. L. and R. came to tea, and a visit of comfort indeed it was. It would do thee good, to know what a sweet op- portunity, this dear, motherly friend had before they left me. She also communicated to us very instructively, near the close of the little meeting on Fourth-day. As to the Penitentiary, I do not know what to say ; things are no way settled, and I am afraid they will remain afloat for some time. Ladies are very unmanageable. It does not seem as if we could quite decline acting. I have been three times, this week, with E. L., who is a much more suitable colleague for us than the others. The more one goes, the more every feeling of commisera- tion and pity is awakened, and there are some interesting proofs of penitence, or at least of sensibility, in some of the women ; but how we are to do about a committee, I know not. Certain it seems, that the institution cannot go on without one suitably Thine tenderly, M. MiDDLETON. The subject mentioned in the preceding letter, being 1823.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 45 afterwards frequently adverted to, it seems proper to observe, that in the establishment of that useful and now flourishing institution, " The Hants Female Peni- tentiary," H. and M. M. took a deep and lively interest. In allusion to their efforts on its behalf, one who was herself an active and valuable coadjutor, thus writes: — " They were among the number of its most strenuous supporters ; and indeed, at one period of its infancy, when, from various circumstances, its very existence was in danger, they unremittingly persevered in their watch- ful care, and we have ever considered, that our two beloved friends, under the divine blessing, by their faithful counsels and judicious recommendations, pre- served it through that period of great difficulty." To E. W. Southampton, Twelfth Month IQth, 1823. My dear E., Though we have not communed in this way for some time, thou and our other dear cousins are often in oui' affectionate remembrance, and I feel disposed to send thee something in the shape of a letter, thougli it may be, that much of the lively kind may not be contained in it. Do not, however, suppose we are gloomy, for indeed, in the daily favours and mercies we receive, there is a constant call for cheerful thankfulness ; though when we are sometimes enabled to review these, the consciousness of falling so far short of the returns due to the great Giver, brings a feeling of sadness, and affords matter for painful retrospection, and so far as this may be made subservient to the pui-pose of stimulating our endeavours, it is well ; but let us not discouragingly dwell on the things that are behind, but rather press forward toward the mark for the prize, not withholding that which is called for, but accounting it all joy, if we are found worthy to suffer in any, — the smallest degree, for his sake, who, in imutterable love and mercy 46 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1824. " gave Himself for us, that He might redeem us from all iniquity, and jnirify unto Himself a peculiar people, zealous of good works." I do not know, my beloved cousin, why I have wiitten this, for indeed, not a word of it was before me when I took up the pen, but as I write, a desire seems to accompany my mind, that we may each experience a willingness wrought in us, to surrender our- selves completely into the divine hand, that we may be fashioned according to the good pleasure of Him, whose right it is, to reign in the hearts of his people, and, blessed be his name. He is not requiring that which He does not give ability to perform, but is still graciously revealing Himself to the most unworthy of those, who are seeking to become his depending children, as strength in weakness, and a present help in every needful time, so that there is abundant cause for us to trust his love and mercy, who is the tender Shepherd of his sheep. Believe me very affectionately, M. MiDDLETON. Twelfth Month Slsi. In reviewing the past year, and the numberless mercies which have been bestowed, may I not say, " All the paths of the Lord are mercy and truth \" He has been pleased to restore me from sickness, to give me increasing views of the excellency of the truth as it is in Jesus, and to confirm my feeble faith, by the experience, that his promises remain to be, yea and amen, for ever. And Oh ! may the year now close, under a lively feeling of gratitude to the great Giver of all our spiritual and temporal blessings, and under a deeply humiliating view of my own unworthiness, and of the innumerable trans- gressions which have marked its course ; and, in the opening of another, may there be a looking unto Him who seeth the end from the beginning, who only knoweth the varied trials and temptations it may bring ; and who is infinitely able to deliver out of them all. I desire reverently to thank Him for the past, and to commit the future entirely to his disposal, confiding in the gracious care of a superintending Providence. First Month Sth, 1824. — And now, being brought into another year, permit me, 0 Lord ! humbly and earnestly to ask of Thee, the blessing of thy guidance and protection, that so, 1824.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA ^FOX. 47 I may be enabled to walk circumspectly before Thee, redeeming the time, and seeing it has been permitted to open with a par- ticular and painful trial, be pleased to grant, that this may be made a means of drawing me more closely to Thyself, and of conforming me, more and more, to the example of thy beloved Son, our blessed Saviour, who was made perfect through suf- fering, " who made Himself of no reputation, and took upon Him the form of a servant," and " became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross." Oh ! bring to this death of the cross, everything within me that opposes itself to the coming of the Redeemer's kingdom, that so, He may reign and rule in my heart, "overall, God blessed for ever. Amen." Having been led to look back on many parts of my past con- duct, wherein I have been betrayed into thoughts, words and actions, inconsistent with that holiness, whereunto we are called, it has appeared to me desirable, to make occasionally some memorandums, which might tend to remind me of the con- stant necessity for watching unto prayer, and which may also serve to lay open the evils of my own heart, and the many sub- tilties of self love ; and if, by recording some circumstances, I may be led to look closely into the dealings of divine Providence with me, and seek, in every chastening, to hear "the rod and who hath appointed it," fresh occasion may be administered, to trust in the Lord, and to give thanks unto Him, inasmuch as He is pleased to correct in measure, and in the midst of judgment, to remember mercy. Being, at this time, under trial, from what I apprehend to be a misconstruction in the minds of some I love, Oh ! that it may be permitted to work in me, all that is designed, and that I may be willing to bow under it, and seek to have everything in myself removed, that is contrary to the nature of christian love, remembering the example of Him, "who, when He was reviled, reviled not again." And, if there has been any cause, by me administered, for the enemy to exalt himself. Oh ! that I may seek, in earnest prayer, to have it shown unto me, and removed by the power of divine grace. 48 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1824. To E. T. Southampton, First Month 'i'ith, 1824. My beloved Cousin, Finding thou art now making one of the pleasant group, assembled by the fireside of our dear relatives, I do not feel able to let the packet go, without a small attempt to testify the love that warms my heart towards thee. Very pleasant hast thou been to me in days that are fled, and the remembrance is sweet. A strong feeling of attachment then united us, and it is now com- forting and strengthening to feel, that the varied and changing circumstances of intervening time, have in no degree weakened the tie. This is indeed, my dear, a world of mixture ; and well will it be for us, to be seeking daily after that preser^-ing influence, which only can steady the mind amidst all its fluctuations and agitations, and finally bring, if the gTeat work be but mercifully accomplished, into that state of rest and peace, where, as Bishop Home beautifully expresses it, " There is no more sea." What a simple and striking illustration of that perfect secmity from evil, and repose from toil, which shall be enjoyed by those who, in unutterable mercy, are admitted into the Redeemer's kingdom ! Thou wilt accept this in love, written not because of any attain- ment of my own, for who is so feeble in the pursuit of substantial good as thv poor friend M. M. First Month i\st. " 0 ! give thanks unto the Lord, for He is good, for his mercy endureth for ever." " To Him who alone doeth great wondei-s, for his mercy endiu'eth for ever " Wondrous things indeed, vdW He work for those who are willing, in simplicity and resignation, to commit their cause into his holy hand, proving Himself to be still a refuge for the poor, — a refuge for the needy in his distress. Let me then, a poor feeble worm, endeavour, more and more, to trust a gracious Providence in all things ; resigTiing myself completely to the disposal of a faithful Creator. To M. R. Southampton, Third Month 6th, 1824. My beloved M. 11., Thy letter, by .J. T.'s parcel, was most welcome. Think, how de- lighted we were, to unseal our respective portions of the valuable 1824. J MEMOIKS OF MARIA FOX. 49 budget. They came to us one evening, like a beam from afar, and made our hearts ghid. The various matter contained in thine, my dear, could not fail of giving me pleasure. Thou knowest, 1 love to hear what thou art doing, and whither going, and how it fares with thee every way Various states, we must expect to experience, and not a few of suffering, I believe, if ever we come to know a steady progression in the right way. There is so much to be reduced in us, before we can advance happily in that "path which no fowl knoweth," and so much to oppose om- entrance into it, both from om* own wayward nature, and the aspect of things without, that thy poor friend is at times ready to fear, the anchor should not be kept ; but this will not do, we must endeavour to lay fast hold of the hope that is set before us, and commit our- selves to the care of the good Shepherd. Oh ! can anything be lost that is in his keeping ? But the great thing is, to be willing that He shall keep us, — that He shall lead \is wherever and into whatsoever He pleases, even to the death of everything that self delights to feed upon. Happy are they who are subject, com- pletely subject, to the forming hand ! May this be more and more my experience, and then, in the abasement of the creature, divine grace will have the victory. Surely, my dear friend, we ought to welcome every suffering, that may be made instru- mental to so blessed a result M. M. The following letter refers to a religious visit paid by Hannah Middleton, to the islands of Guernsey and Jersey. Maria accompanied her thither, but not in the capacity of a minister, the meeting to which she belonged, not having recognised her as such, until the following year. To M. R. Southampton, Eighth Month 2Gth, 1824. Thou wilt believe, my dear M., the late visit to the Islands, was attended with feelings of various and differino; character. The prospect so formidable to my beloved H. M., E 0 50 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1824. could not fail to awaken a sympathetic feeling for her in my heart, as far as I was capable of it, and it was a great comfort to see her united in the work, with so desii'able and valuable a companion. I cannot tell thee how much thou and dear E. were present to my mind, particularly during our voyage, and passing from one island to the other ; the scenes, by which we were sur- rounded, were so entirely adapted to your taste. We went by a steam vessel from this place, going on board in the evening, and in about two hours, passed the Needles. The increased motion of the vessel, soon apprized us that we were getting out to sea, but as we were not sick, we remained a considerable time on deck, watching the phosphoric illumination of the water ; but it was when we came up from our berths, at four the next morning, that we wanted you to gaze with us upon a scene, which, I certainly may be allowed to say, was glorious. Imagine us, then, dashing rapidly through a majestically swelling sea, which spread itself, in extended magnificence, around us ; its bright blue waters sparkl- ing in the light of the clear sky, by which they were canopied, and on one side, kindling into liquid gold, under the beams of the sun, just emerging from his ocean bed. On our left, lay Cape La Hogue and a line of French coast, enlivened by the white sails of a vessel standing for Cherbourg. Nearer us, was the rocky and barren island of Alderney, upon whose craggy coast, the breakers were tossing up their foam ; and ahead, the distant high land of Guernsey, dimly discovered, like a light cloud on the surface of the water. The view of it, as we approached, was very imposing. The town extends to a great length along the shore, and rises foncifuUy up the hills, which form a fine back ground, adorned with country residences, interspersed with trees. At each extremity of the town, the land runs out into a point, where castles are built for the defence of the roads, and above the whole, near the summit of the hill, rises the fort or citadel, which is a strong fortification, and regularly garrisoned by troops ; indeed. Government appears to have spared no expense, in protecting these islands, now all that remains to the crown of Great Britain, of her ancient Norman possessions. The coast of both Jersey and Guernsey is bristled with cannon, threatening destruction to an enemy, who might attempt to effect a landing. 1824.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 51 We were a week in Guernsey, and M'cre most hospitably entertained at the house of our vahied friend, E. R. The islanders, who reside in the eountry, appear to be a simple race, li\'ing on their own little farms, and, in the absence of what lue call accom- modations, possessing everything they require to make them in- dependent and comfortable : they speak a dialect of French. In the town, there are some interesting and well-regulated public institutions. There are many curious peculiarities in the legis- lation and customs of the islands, which I must not here digress into. The privileges which they enjoy, in being exempt from all taxation, by enabling them to carry on a free trade with all nations, are the means of filling them with variety of character, and with the productions of distant countries. Jersey is the largest, and is considered, the finest island, but as we were only there two nights, we did not see so much of the interior. The coast, how- ever, is very bold and striking, presenting a tremendous aspect to the mariner who is unaccustomed to it ; — a range of rocky clilF, broken into abrupt fragments, and the neighbouring parts of the sea rendered terrific, by huge masses of rock, many of which are nearly covered at high water. There are four members of our Society, and several individuals who attend the meeting, but are not in membership. We went to see them in the evening, and were greatly interested. They left their labour in the field, to meet us in a rustic cot, where lives an aged man, with his wd& and sister. This estimable character has been, for a number of years, faithfully supporting a testimony against the use of arms, for which he has twice suffered banishment. Several of their neighbours came in and joined us, and the sweet feeling which was amongst them, was trtdy comfortable Believe me, with tender love, thine, Maria Middleton. To E. W. Southampton, Ninth Month 26th, 1824. My dear E., I wished to have acknowledged thy acceptable letter, during the time of your late residence at Harrogate, but having been of late more than usually unfit for this employ, have suffered the time E 2 52 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1824. to pass on, until I conclude your little party has quitted that spot, to mix in a more bustling scene at York. It was very pleasant to get a letter from thee, and to picture the fair group suiTounding the writing-table, or turning the amusing page, or wandering amongst the well known haunts which we have, in days past, ex- plored together. So deceptive, however, are our impressions of the lapse of time, that I started at the mention of ten years, and could scarcely convince myself, that the decimal of a century had rolled over us, since we scaled the crags of Brimham, and gathered flowers in Dr. Jacques' plantations. I suppose lus Scotch firs continue to rear their branchless shafts, through all the changes of time and season ; whilst the sweet little polygala and lovely blue-bell still decorate their roots, and have courted the hand of many a passing loiterer, since those days. There is something very affecting to the mind, in comparing the unvarying and tran- quil operations of nature, through so many successive seasons, with the agitations which have marked the moral world, or with the variety of scenes and feelings which have occupied our in- di\idual attention, in the same period. What a comfort, how- ever, to reflect, that there is a state, where goodness as well as happiness, is unmixed and permanent M. MiDDLETON. 1824. Twelfth Month olst. Although the design, expressed at the beginning of this year, has not been fulfilled, by a written record of its various scenes and circumstances, yet in looking back to the many interesting events which have marked its com-se, no language is adequate to express the loving kindness of the Lord, who has brought me safely to its close, who has preserved me in many dangers, sustained in many trials ; on occasions of im- portance, proved Himself to be " Wonderful, Counsellor," and so encompassed me with mercies, that I may indeed exclaim with the psalmist, " Thou crownest the year with thy goodness, and thy paths drop fatness." Oh ! that the remembrance of all the un- merited blessings which have been bestowed, may stimulate me to greater diligence, in the pursuit of those things that are excellent, to a more active and faithful discharge of every duty towards a gracious Creator, and towards my fellow-creatures ; looking singly 1825.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 53 unto Him, who only can qualify for any service, and whose nuist be the praise. 1825. First Month 3rd. Confined by a painful attack of ill- ness, and my strength greatly reduced, but in unutterable kindness, sustained in a degree of quiet dependence on the invisible Arm ; and at times enabled, through the power of redeeming love, to rejoice in tribulation, and to acknowledge, that it is good to be afflicted. Took leave yesterday of a sailor boy, (the son of a Friend,) on whose account I had felt gi'eatly interested. Gave him, on paper, a few friendly hints for the regulation of his con- duct, in a situation of peculiar danger, from the temptations to evil, by which he is surrounded. Being First-day, he stayed our family reading, when the hundred and seventh psalm was read, and afterwards, I was engaged to commend this interesting little wanderer, to the care and keeping of the great and good Shepherd, in a few short petitions. My dear sister also addi'essed him with. instructive counsel, encouraging his young mind to put its trust in the Lord. { Without date.) Continued more or less an invalid, during the whole of this month ; and in the course of it, met with some things which caused me great pain, from the unkindness or in- gratitude of a person, from whom I had cause to expect far other treatment. Oh ! that it may tend to deepen me in that humility and abasedness of self, of which I stand so much in need. But, alas ! the subtilty of self-love, betrays us into innumerable evils, and so artfully winds itself into our actions, that we had need to say more often than the day, " Cleanse Thou me from secret faults." Instracted, during my illness, by many passages in a book, en- titled, " The Saints' eternal Felicity,'" translated from the Latin of Bellarmine, lent to me by a dear and highly-valued friend, whose visits to my sick chamber, were often times of comfort and instruction, and should be ranked among the many mercies which distinguished this time of trial, when all the alleviations of sooth- ing tenderness were permitted me, in the affectionate assiduities of my beloved sister, and a few truly kind friends. Second Month Uh. Got to meeting, for the first time this year, and found renewed cause, to commemorate the goodness of Him who bringeth down and raiseth up, and who is worthy to be 54 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1825. adored in all his dispensations ; for we know that his judgments are right, and that in very faithfulness, He doth afflict us ; there- fore, we esteem all his precepts, concerning all tilings, to be right. 6th, First-day. In the evening, heard some painful things, re- lative to the conduct of an individual, on whose account we are much interested ; one, who possesses many quahties, which, if happily brought under the regulating influence of the divine fear, might not only adorn, but enrich society ; but who appears to be in great danger, of making shipwreck of faith and of a good conscience, on the fatal rock of sophistical speculation, may I not say, of a re- * fined infidelity. Oh ! that we may be favoured, in all our associ- ation with him, with that preservation, which only can keep us from the many transfoi-mations of evil, and enable us to detect the fallacy of what appears to be arrayed in brilliant colours. " Set a watch, 0 Lord ! before my mouth, keep the door of my lips," that I sin not with my tongue. 7th, Second-day. Thy mercies, 0 Lord ! are new every morn- ing. How unutterable is thy love to thy poor erring creatures ! How many gracious means dost Thou employ, to bring them to the saving knowledge of Thyself ! This morning, we heard that the person alluded to in the memorandum of yesterday, had met with an alarming accident, by the running away of a spirited horse ; but although so stunned by the fall, as to remain some time in an unconscious state, yet through the preserving care of divine Providence, not a bone is broken, and, we trust, no serious injury sustained. Oh ! that it may be the occasion of exciting him to think of his ways ; that so, by application to Him who only can give the victory, his feet may be incHned unto the Lord's testimonies. 8^^, Third-day. Called on with Dr. L. ; found him much recovered from the effects of the violent shock received in the fall. R. L. made some very pertinent observations, on the remarkable preservation that had been extended ; but, though, I trust, there was some sensibility of the mercy, yet I greatly fear the object of it, is not permanently awakened to serious reflection. Retired at night, rather disquieted in mind, in the consideration of what is so very painful ; but found a degree of comfort, in reading the twenty-fourth chapter of Matthew, 1825.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 55 especially in those words of the Saviour, " He that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved." 9th, Fourth-day. Awoke in the morning, with a com- forting conviction, that however the ways of man may be per- verted, and the imagination of the thoughts of his heart be evil, yet the counsels of divine Wisdom are all faithfulness and truth ; that all liis dispensations are part of a beautiful and hannonious system, regulated by an unerring and merciful hand. May we not then, renew our trust and our confidence, and remember the words of our blessed Lord, " What I do, thou knowest not now, but thou shalt know hereafter." Went to meeting, where there was an awful feeling of the importance of preparation for the solemn and final change, seeing we " know neither the day nor the hour, wherein the Son of man cometh." In conversation afterwards with some friends, suffered myself to speak with too much warmth, on a subject of moment to them, which it appeared to me, they treated too lightly. Regretted afterwards the manner of speaking, though I felt relieved, in some degree, by the discharge of a duty. 11th, Sixth-day. Much occupied, in the morning, with the cases of some poor persons. Before dinner, took a delightful ride with my friend E. L., and much enjoyed the peaceful scenes of nature, and the smiling indications of spring ; the young lambs reposing on the soft grass, and troops of deer feeding in a beautiful park, whilst the thrush was beginning to try his " wood notes wild," in anticipation of a more genial season. ISth, First-day. In our morning meeting, some petitions raised to the Father of mercies, that He would be pleased to make ue partakers of the rich blessings of his immutable cove- nant ; and a degree of capacity received, to offer praises to his great name. In the evening, had some young people at our house ; and was favoured to feel a degree of peaceful tranquillity. To E, AND M. R. Southampton, Third Month 26th, 1825, My dear Friends, There is something so interesting in the return of a period important to us all,* that it feels like a part of the duty of it, to * The anniversary of her own and correspondents' birtlj-day. 56 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1825. remember those, who, through most of the past years of life, have been numbered amongst my loved and valued friends. Well, my deajs, many swiftly revolving suns have rolled over us, and where are we now ? Perhaps, this is the inquiry that befits this solemn season, for such it must be to all who feel the awfulness of life, — the value of the gift, and the uncertainty of its con- tinuance. If we look back upon the path we have trodden, what a multitude and variety of reflections crowd upon the mind ! whether we look at the pleasures tasted, — the sorrows dispensed, — the dangers that have been escaped, or the countless mercies which have so strewed our path, that, amidst all the vicissitudes of day and night, summer and winter, we may well exclaim, " Thou crownest the year with thy goodness, and thy paths drop fatness." And now, what shall we render to the great Giver for aU his benefits ? Shall we not take the offered cup of salvation, mingled, as it is, by the hand of infinite msdom and perfect love, and call upon his name ? The cup which our Heavenly Father is pleased to give us, shall we not drink it, of whatever ingi'edients composed ? He knows best what is most salutaiy, and, like a skilful physician, proportions and modifies the medicine, according to every varying case and circumstance ; designing, in aU things, to accomplish the great work of our purification from those earthly mixtures, which impede the com- munion of the soul with her holy Creator. Oh, then ! may we yield oiu'selves, fully, passively, unreservedly, to the discipline of the divine hand ; accounting it an unspeakable favour, to be chastened by One who knoweth oiu" frame, and remembereth that we are dust, and whose fatherly compassions fail not. May we be willing, not only to yield ourselves to, but patiently to abide under, the forming hand ; and then we shall assm-edly know, that He who will not break the braised reed, nor quench the smoking flax, is stiU able to bring forth judgment unto victory, in aU those, who, in child-like simplicity, depend upon Him, and, in unques- tioning obedience, seek to follow Him I know not, my dear friends, what may be your present feelings ; but in tender affection, and with, I trust, some sense of my own lament- able weakness, it seemed in my heart to desire, that we may all be encouraged to press after that which is most excellent, and 1825.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 57 which only will endure the storms and tempests of time. These, we must expect to attend our path through this world ; and, indeed, it is well for us that it should be so, so inclined are we, to take up our rest amidst the pleasant things, that are often per- mitted to cheer and refresh us May the coming year be a season of renewed endeavour, to devote ourselves more fully to Him who has led us about and instructed us, and who has an undoubted right to the possession, and guidance, and dii'ection of all we have and are. But, I must conclude. This season of promise is very exhilarating and pleasing, and bears with it many sweet remembrances of past houi's, when we have together explored the sunny banks, in search of the odorous violet, or lovely primrose. Be assured, my dear friends, of the tender affection of your, M. MiDDLETON. To E. T. London, Fifth Month 23rd, 1825. My beloved E. When thy last truly welcome and affectionate letter reached me, I did not intend to suffer a long time to pass, before I thanked thee for it ; but having done so, I will not now burden thee with apologies, which, at best, are rather unfruitful things. In the interval of silence, my heart has often affectionately greeted thee, and desired thy encouragement, to press forward in that way, which leads to the kingdom of heavenly rest ; and though it be a way of difficulty, — a way of trial, — a way of suf- fering, is it not the way that has been consecrated for us, by the great High Priest of our profession, who was Himself a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief, and who, in suffering for us, has left us an example, that we should follow his steps ? Many and great are his promises, to those who are willing to continue with Him in temptations, and to endure patiently those baptisms unto death, (the death of the natural will) which must be the portion of those who seek an admission, with Him, into glory. Oh then, my dear friend ! may we be wilUng, in unquestioning faith and childlike sim])licity, to follow Him whithersoever He goeth, and count it all joy, if we are found worthy to sufler for 58 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1825. the sake of our dear Redeemer. Truly, the present state is not our rest, hut is replete with much that may bring to our remem- brance the words of the Sa-\aour, " In the world, ye shall have tribulation ;" but how animating, how comforting, is the addition, " Be of good cheer, I have overcome the world." And wiU He not still enable all those, who unreseiTedly trust in Him, to over- come it also ? Will He not, in his love and his mercy, go before them, and make them more than conquerors, to the praise of his name ? So that, amidst all the discouragements that may attend us, there is abundant cause to renew our confidence, and to cast all our care upon Him who careth for us, and who wiU feed his dependent and confiding little ones, with that food which He sees to be convenient for them ; and if it be of his appoint- ment, and received with thankful submission, it shall nourish up their souls unto eternal life. I did not think of writing this, my dear, when I took up the pen, but the love and sjonpathy, my heart feels for thee, induces a sisterly freedom, and leads me to commune by the way, with one, who is, I believe, sincerely seeking a city which hath foundations, and it seems with me, to bid thee good speed, though in the midst of abounding weakness and poverty myself, so that I am ready, at times, to compare myself to the heath in the desert, whilst many, around me, are tasting sweet refreshment from the eternal spring, wliich indeed, seems to be renewedly opened in this great assembly Thy tenderly afi"ectionate, MiDDLETON. To E. S h. Box Hill, uear Dorking, Fifth Month, 1825. Truly comforting and strengthening it is to us, to have had the opportunity of sitting a little by the bed of our very precious invalid, where there is indeed a tranquillizing feeling, that seems like a consoHng, sustaining e^'idence of that presence, which is beyond eveiy human aid, and which, we cannot doubt, will continue with her, until the conflicts of time are happily exchanged for the peace and joy of an eternal mansion. We must not, we cannot mourn, for her who is so blessed ; but 1825.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 59 must endeavour to raise our views and thoughts towards that world, where there is no more sorrow, and where there shall be no parting. Oh ! that we may be seeking daily for preparation to enter into that holy, that perfect rest M. M. " SWEET IS THE BREATH OF OPENING MORN." Sweet is the breath of opening morn, And sweet the song of " early bird," When from each tree and blossom'd thorn, The soul of melody is stirred. And fair the unrivalled hues that spread, Ai-ound the parting ray of even. In light fantastic shapes, and shed On things of earth, the tints of heaven. But sweeter is the voice that speaks. In comfort to the mourner's breast, And lovelier far the beam that breaks. Around his twilight hour of rest ; That points him to that region bright, Unmarred by sin, undimmed by tears. Where purest joy and cloudless light Shall fill th' eternal round of years. And angel harps be tuned to raise The ceaseless song of holiest praise. ^ Hixth Month ISth, 1825. To E. R. Bradpole, Eighth Month Slst, 1825. My dear E., Thy wonted kindness, which has been so sweetly shown of late, in interesting and affectionate communications, demands a much better return than my pen can make ; but we have often desired to thank thee, through this medium, and to chat a little, since thy dear home companions left thee to a more solitary lot than usual. But I must go back to the very interesting account, so kindly sent us, of your northern tour amidst lakes and mountains. 60 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1826. and wood-haunts wild, where you feasted on nature's beauties, to an uncommon degree. Very kind it was, amidrit so many excite- ments and exertions, to think of the distant sojoui'ners in the low-lands, who are forbidden to climb such towering heights, and range through such romantic regions. Well, my dear, accept our hearty thanks for this participation in yom* pleasiu'es, and do not think them less sincere, for being so long unexpressed. It is a comfort to feel, from time to time, as we pass thi'ough the chequered paths of life, that the tie of friendship that bound us early, continues to bind us without slackening ; and indeed, I trust it strengthens, as years roll on. May it be more and more the case, until we arrive at the end of this mortal pilgiimage ; a state replete with soiTows and with snares, but in which, through unmerited mercy, many comforts and enjoyments are permitted. Oh ! that we may, in all things, be endeavouiing to look to the great Disposer, who ■wisely mingles the cup, and who, though it may, at times, consist with his wisdom, to pour in abundantly, what may seem bitter ingredients, can make it of healing efficacy to the truly subjected mind ; but indeed, my dear friend, so prone are we to shrink from every thing painful, that it is difficult to keep in this passive state, — a state, however, most desirable to press after, and one, we must believe, peculiarly acceptable in the divine sight. Alas ! how far is the poor unworthy wi-iter, from an at- tainment, which nevertheless appears the very essence of religion ! When shall self be laid low, and the power of the Sanour be ex- alted, in a heart that seems at times, the prey of the enemy ! But enough of what cannot be cheering to thee, and is perhaps better locked up in secret Farewell, very tenderly, and think often of Thy nearly attached, M. MiDDLETON. To E. T. Southampton, Second Month I2th, 1826. My dear Cousin, It is a privilege to be pemitted, some times, to salute our dear friends by the way, though we may have to commune prin- cipally of oiu- sadness ; but whilst I write this, I am forcibly 182G.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 61 struck with the conviction, that we are so encompassed with un- merited blessings and favours, so surrounded with proofs of that divine care and condescension, which is extended to the whole family of man, that surely, if our hearts were properly affected, we should find abundant cause, to rejoice in the goodness of Him, whose mercies are new every morning, and account all our trials and afflictions real favours, if they may but be made instramental, to bring us nearer and nearer to the great and inexhaustible Source of perfection and love. But how far removed am I from a state of mind, which appears so desirable to be pressed after ! but which can only be wrought by the reduction of all that opposes itself to the divine government. But, my dear E., amidst all our discouragements, from within or from without, may we not take comfort in the assurance, that " we have not an High Priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities," but who, having borne our natiire, and been " tempted like as we are, yet without sin," is abundantly able and willing to succour all them that are tempted ; and who, as we are willing to come to Him, in living faith, will assuredly make us " more than con- querors through Him that loved us," and hath purchased us with his most precious blood. Oh ! that we may withhold nothing, He is pleased to call for, and then, I cannot doubt but He will be found strength in weakness, and a present help in the hour of trouble. I have suffered my pen to convey the feelings that liave presented since I sat down, in the freedom of tender afiection, greatly desiring, that thou, my dear cousin, mayst be favoured with abundant supplies of that living virtue, which can strengthen the soul for every good word and work, and sustain it under every trial, that in the ordering of infinite wisdom, may be permitted. And when thou art favoured to approach that sacred place, where prayer is wont to be made, remember one of the feeblest and most unworthy of the flock, one, who, in the pressure of multiplied infirmities, is often ready to exclaim, — Surely I shall one day fall by the hand of the enemy ; and intercede, that when he cometh in like a flood, the Spirit of the Lord may availingly lift up a standard against him Thy affectionate and nearly attached, Maria Middleton. 62 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1826. To E., S. AND M. W Southampton, Second Month 2lst, 1826. My beloved Cousins, So nearly and tenderly, do our hearts sympathise with you in the present solemn circumstances, that the pen seems to refuse its office, and language fails to give expression to those feelings, which, as it were, drink up our spirits ; and yet we cannot be easy, without at least, attempting to convey to yourselves, some proof of our affectionate fellow-feeling. To be so distant from you, as not to be able personally to render you any assistance, in a conflict like that you have lately been called to sustain, is an augmentation of the trial, but we cannot doubt your receiving from those on the spot, all that friendship can supply ; and what is much more, the secret support of that all-sufficient Arm of power, which is wonderfully extended, for the stay of those, who feel it to be their only dependence. To you, my beloved cousins, what need we say ? You know the springs of consolation, — you have not, now first, to seek that refuge which is the hiding place of the christian in the hoiir of adversity, but have proved it, in days past, to be an unfailing shelter, a covert fi-om the storm, a rock against which, the swelling floods of sorrow, though they may be permitted to rise high, will not be sufiered to prevail. I doubt not, my dear cousins, it is your earnest desire, to rest here, and to seek after a measui'e of that holy resignation, which breathes, in the deep prostration of the soul, the acceptable language, " Thy will be done." And when we turn to the con- sideration of the joy unspeakable and full of glory, into which those are entered, who, through a course of years, have been en- deavouring to fight the good fight of faith, how abundant is the consolation, and cause even of rejoicing on their account, that they have been permitted to enter the harbour of undisturbed rest ! Well, my dear cousins, I cannot add much ; but I trust this will find you surrounded by those, who are peculiarly qualified to render you all that succour, that can be received through the medium of tenderly interested relatives Accept all that can be conveyed, of tenderest affection and sympathy, from your, M. MiDDLETON. 1826.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 63 CHAPTER IV. 182G. Journey on the Continent^ — Rotterdam — Amsterdam — Zeist — Devcnter — Bentheim — Ippenbiihren — Osnabriick — Herford — Pyrmont — Minden — Rehme — Eidinghausen — Hille — Hanover — Celle — Ham- burgh— Passage to England — Landing at Southwold — Journey home. The first journey taken by Maria Middleton, in the service of the gospel, was in the year 1826, when her beloved sister and herself united with their valued relative, Ann Alexander, of York, in a visit to the Friends of Pyrmont and Minden, and in other religious service in Holland and Germany. With this little band, was associated Cornelius Hanbury, of London, their kind and efficient care-taker, as well as true helper and fellow-labourer in the work in which they were engaged. Her feelings in the prospect of this journey are described in the following letter. To E. s li. Hitchin, Fourth Month 3rd, 182G. We hope to meet at some future time, if that be pemitted by Him, who ordereth all things wisely, and to whose guidance, we, sincerely, though feebly, and in the midst of abounding infirmities, desire to commit our all. Oh ! my dear friend, when flesh and spirit are ready to fail, may we be able to say, " God is the strength of my heart and my portion for ever," and then, it is of little consequence, what are the trials, or what the changes, we may be permitted to experience here, compared M-ith the soul-sustaining conviction, that we are under the merciful protection of infinite power, directed by infinite love, and that " all the paths of the Lord are mercy and trath, unto such as keep his covenant and his testimonies." I write not, my dear friend, as having attained this happy experience, but as 64 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1826. desiring to press after it ; for indeed, darkness and destitution seem, at times, to cover iis as a gannent, but it is an un- speakable favour, and one, we ought gratefully to commemorate, that we have been presei'ved in a degree of quiet dependence on that Arm which can do all things, on Him whose right it is, to work by the feeblest of instraments, whensoever it pleaseth Him. To Him, be all praise, from his unworthy creatures ! M. M. Fourth Month 22nd, Seventh-day. Early in the morning, we were summoned from our beds ; breakfasted and went on board the King of the Netherlands, a steam vessel lying off the Custom-house, about eight o'clock. At Woolwich, the part- ing between W. and A. A. took place ; but not without a degree of that sustaining quiet, which stays the mind on what is un- changeable, and enables it to look beyond the feeling of the pre- sent, to the source and centre of true union. Many friends accompanied us to Blackwall ; W. M., R. F., and M. B. came as far as Gravesend, where a boat received them, and left us reduced to our own little company, and that of our fellow-passen- gers, a small number of respectable looking people. We foimd among them, two who spoke German ; so the little knowledge we had acquired of that language, was soon brought into exercise. We remained on deck till about eight, when we retired to our berths, and were favoured to lie down, with a sweet feeling of peaceful quiet, committing ourselves, I trust, with a degree of humble confidence, to the care of the unslimibering Shepherd, the ever watchful Preserver of his people, and were refreshed by some comfortable sleep. The sea was very smooth, and the crew quiet and orderly. 2'ird, First-day. Morning rainy : as we could not be on deck, did not rise early. The Dutch coast was announced about half-past five ; a low, flat, uninteresting line of land ; occa- sionally relieved by villages and rows of trees. Soon after eleven, a custom-house ofl&cer came on board ; and about one, we landed on the pier at Rotterdam ; a neat, handsome city. One of our seamen conducted us to the hotel, our friends in London had recommended, " The Groot Skippers," where we have good accommodations. 1826.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 65 24!th, Second-day. After the refreshment of a night's rest, we sat down to breakfast, and read the forty-sixth and forty seventh psahns, to our comfort : afterwards wrote letters, whilst C. H. went out to call on some persons, to whom he had inti'o- ductions. He met with a young man from Pyritz, in Pome- rania, a missionary of the Netherlands Society, whom he had known in London, and whose acquaintance was very useful to us. He introduced us to the Baroness Van Nyvelt, on whom we made a call. She lives in a handsome house, but appeared to be a truly simple, humble-minded believer. After dinner, we called on the widow Vandeluher, a pious woman, who had been visited by several other Friends ; took tea with C. Ledaboer, his wife and daughter. Something was expressed to them before we parted, and supplication was offered on behalf of the parents and chil- dren. Went afterwards to see C. Gutzlaff and his brethren ; five young Germans, destined to go out, as missionaries, to the Indian Archipelago. With them, we found a religious merchant from Elberfeld, who conversed with us respecting the ordinance of baptism and the supper ; he appeared to be a spiritually-minded man. After some time, a precious covering of good was per- mitted, wherein we were enabled to salute each other as fellow- believers of the same gospel ; and, on the bended knee, to desire their and our own preservation in the Lord. It is animating to see so many, in early life, devoted to the great cause ; and to observe the solidity and simplicity of their deportment. 25th, Third-day. This morning, the waiter announced the arrival of the carriage, with the Friend who drives it, Ernst Peytsmeyer. He appears a simple, honest-hearted man ; speaks only German, but we can make each other understand very well. C. Gutzlaff and another missionary called on us, to take a walk in the environs of Rotterdam, which are very- beautiful ; walks, planted with trees, running along the banks of the Maese. We had much interesting conversation, returned to our inn to dinner, and were joined afterwards by C. L., who con- ducted us to the Orphan House, an institution capable of re- ceiving five hundred children, but at present, containing only two hundred and thirty. They stay till twenty-one or twenty-two years of age, when they are placed in service. This institution F MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1826. is supported by the Calviiiistic church of Holland. We also saw a school, maintained by the government, where a large number of childi'en are instructed. They were reading scripture lessons in Dutch, and at the conclusion, sang a hymn ; it was a very interesting sight. Our friend L. gave them a short, simple exhortation, before we came away. In the evening, we took tea with the widow V., her friend, and two young men, a nephew and grandson. The former, from Denmark, an agreeable young man, Avho could not speak English, but French and German. The latter, educated amongst the Moravians in Germany. We had a pleasant visit to this pious woman, to whom we felt much united. 26th, Fourth-day. C. Gutzlaff kindly assisted to prepare notices for the little "re-union." proposed to be held with a small number of pious persons. I had an agreeable conversation after- wards, Avith our friend V. and her nephew, Heni-y von AUehn, on whom I called, to let them know of the meeting. C. H. conducted us, this morning, to call on — Mackei, the postmaster-general of the city, and a member of council, an influential man, and very actively engaged in the benevolent institutions. He speaks English well, and has a very pleasing wife. We took cofiFee with them, and were tnily refreshed in spirit, whilst permitted, as we hiunbly trust, to partake of a measure of that precious fellowship which is, at times, enjoyed by those who love the Lord, in sincerity. This feeling of unity was expressed, and prayer offered on their behalf, to that gracious Lord, who is thus pleased to preserve alive a true chui'ch, made up of sincere believers, in various nations and de- nominations. The conversation of M. was very striking. He said, he daily felt more and more the importance of learning the first lessons ; of being willing to do the duties of each day, as they arise, without wishing to be any thing else, than what is designed by our Heavenly Father. His wife and he were united in the tenderest ties, but often conversed on the period of their separation ; he hoped, if he should be first taken, she would not be too much aiflicted, as he would be only one station before her. After dinner, we called on an elderly woman, of the name of Bischon, and found it tnily animating, to observe her lively faith and hope, and the cheerfulness of her mind. She is a woman of property, and has known much of the temptations of the world ; 1826.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 67 but told us, she was drawn, in early life, by the power of divine grace, to renounce all ; and now, in the evening of her day, had cause to commemorate the goodness of God, who had been with her, and who had reduced the opposition of a mind naturally inclined to reasoning and incredulity. After leaving her, we soon went to the chamber over the Exchange, where the Mission Society hold their meetings. Here, we were joined by more than twenty persons, mostly of the higher class. It was a truly comfortable opportunity, wherein the power of divine love was sweetly felt, and ability graciously afforded, to offer the language of thanksgiving, and to petition the divine mercy on behalf of those present. Afterwards, the word of con- solation and exhortation was offered by each of our little band. Our friend L. interpreted, and when our meeting concluded, under the precious feeling of unity in the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ, and in the hope of salvation through Him, he requested to read a part of the third chapter of Ephesians, from the fourteenth verse to the end. We took leave of each other, with a lively feeling of christian regard. A young French minister, pastor of the Lutheran Church in Amsterdam, who was at the meeting, came to tea with us, as did Conrad Ferlenden, (one of the mis- sionaries) and H. von Allehn. We parted with them, in a feeling which is beyond words ; commending each other to the divine care and keeping. C. F. is a remarkable man, full of humility, simplicity and love. He gave us an instructive account of the manner in which his mind had been prepared, and his way opened, for engaging in the arduous sendees of a missionai-y. His parents, especially his mother, were strongly opposed to his leaving them, but by patiently waiting, and seeking to commit the matter into the Lord's hand, he had, at length, the satisfaction of finding all these obstacles re- moved, and expected ere long, to proceed to some one of the islands of the Indian Archipelago. He appeared to us remarkably devoted to the work, to which he believed himself called, and to be seeking, very singly, to follow the guidance of the good Shepherd.* [This * The following note is found among A[. F.'s memoranda, under date 1841: — Althoun;h we met with several jjersons at Rotterdam, to wliom we felt united, as believinjj; them to bo humble followers of the Lord .Josus, wo were very sensible of a load of secret exercise, on account of the bulk of the people in this city, and no way seemed to open for throwing tliis oft ; F 2 fi8 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1826. young man died before he had long occupied the station assigned him. ED.] 27^^, Fifth-day. Rose early, and took leave of our kind friend C. Gutzlaff and some others, who came to see us off. C. G. ex- pressed, in a very lively manner, his friendly regard, and desire for our preservation every way. Our worthy diiver, Ernst, then proceeded with us to Gouda, a distance of about twelve English miles. There, we alighted at a small inn, where we took coffee and cold meat ; every thing in the true Dutch style. We were soon placed on board the treckschute, in which we had a small apartment to ourselves. We glided gently along the river, passing through several neat villages, and arrived at Amsterdam, soon after six o'clock. A long walk through many busy streets, where we attracted a sort of curiosity which did not give us the most pleasing impression of the manners of the citizens, brought us to our inn, the Grand Doelin, on the Cingel. John MoUet called in the evening, and gave us a cordial welcome to Amsterdam. In the course of this day's journey, we had cause to commemorate, with thankful hearts, the preserving care of an ever watchful Providence. On our way from Rotterdam to Gouda, one of our horses started aside, in passing a carriage, and the road being an elevated causeway between two canals, we were in great danger of being precipitated to the bottom. " In the midst of life, we are in death ;" we may well exclaim, so small is the space that divides us from eternity. Oh ! that we may seek to live more and more in Him, who is the life of his dependent, faithful children ; that so we may be prepared, whenever the closing scene shall arrive, to meet Him with joy, through the efficacy of faith meetings being out of the question, except in the private manner above alluded to. Amongst some of the serious people with wliom we had inter- course, there was to be observed, the injurious effects of their high and over-strained views. I fear, of some it might be said, that they, "going about to establish their own righteousness, have not submitted themselves to the righteousness of God," though they could speak much of the plan of salvation, and are Calvinists of the most rigid school. We generally pro- duced our certificates, which were read with interest, and this often led to conversation on the principles and practices of our Society. To be willing to go in simplicity where we found an opening to receive us, and endeavour after a willingness to appear as fools among them, answering, as well as we were able, the many questions put to us, or expressing any little matter that might be given us to communicate, seemed much the line of our service, if we had any, in Holland. 1826.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 69 in that most precious blood, which was shed for us upon the cross. 2dth, Seventh-day. Called on the family of Miiller, a book- seller ; he was himself from home, but his wife and sister received us with affectionate kindness, and conversed much in German. They had with them, a very lively, pleasing young woman, from Crevelt, in Germany, the daughter of a Mennonist preacher ; she had attended a meeting appointed by M. Savory there, and was much delighted to see some Friends. We were met here, by a missionary of the name of Gericke, an agreeable man, who had been very useful to Thomas Shillitoe, at Hamburgh, and had fre- quently acted as his interpreter ; he was very friendly. After a short time of quiet together, they were recommended to a watchful dependence on God, and we left them comforted in the belief, that they are of those who seek " a better country, that is, an heavenly." 30th, First-day. John MoUet conducted us to the house be- longing to Friends, on the Keyzers-Gragt. It is a comfortable meeting-house, in good repair, and a very respectable looking company were assembled in it, but it proved a trying, painful morning ; the minds of the people, e\'idently greatly unsettled, and little prepared to comprehend the nature of true spiritual worship. Each of our little band was engaged, to draw their attention to a quiet seeking after divine teaching, and at the end, a more settled feeling prevailed. Another meeting was appointed for the evening, which was smaller, but much more quiet, and the stream of gospel ministry flowed freely through dear A. A. ; C. H. was also engaged in the ministry, and my sister in sup- plication. Many spoke kindly to us at parting, and some invited us to their houses. J. M. told us, some of the first merchants in Amsterdam were at the meeting. Fifth Month \st, Second-day. A young man of the name of Fleming, from England, called on us. He was at the meeting last evening, having accidentally heard of it, and appeared grati- fied with the opportunity. He is studying the art of painting in this city, and has been five years at Leydcn. Told us, he had been at a Friend's school in England, which had been of great importance to him, in the effect it had produced on his views of the military profession ; was designed for the service of the 70 MEMOIRS or MARIA FOX. [1826. East India Company, but became so dissatisfied with it, that he prevailed on his parents, to allow him to seek some other occupa- tion. He appeared an agreeable, well disposed young inan ; accompanied us to the Blind School, a most interesting establish- ment, where the childi-en are taught writing, reading, arithmetic and geography, by means of raised types, which they discern by the touch. They are also instructed in various mechanic arts. We were greatly pleased with our visit, and with the principal master of the school. Saw, afterwards, an excellent public insti- tution (the House of correction and Workhouse,) where all desti- tute, unemployed persons can procure shelter and work. The women were principally engaged in spinning ; the men in various kinds of occupation, as tailors, carpet-weavers, &c. ; they have one-third of their earnings. Nine hundred persons were last winter, in the institution, and it is capable of receiving nearly two thousand. Amsterdam is a handsome city ; we were particularly struck with the magnificent entrances to many of the houses and the public buildings, and with the staircases, wholly of marble. The English Consul called on us ; was exceedingly kind, and expressed his regret at not being able to attend the meeting yesterday. 2nd, Third-day. Rose, with a feeling of interest for the people of the inn where we lodged, and having mentioned it to my companions, we requested J. MoUet to inquire, whether the servants could be set at liberty to attend our reading before breakfast. The mistress and her son came very willingly, and, I think, five servants. Our young friend, Fleming, was also present, and, I trust, we had cause to acknowledge the renewed extension of divine help. J. M. interpreted what was communicated, and afterwards took leave of us, with much feeling. We felt for this worthy man, in his solitary situation, being the only individual professing with Friends in the city. W. F. stayed with us till we set ofi", between ten and eleven, for Utrecht. The day was fine, and we travelled agreeably, along a very good road, planted with trees and ornamented with handsome villas ; the grounds beauti- fully shaded with trees, though laid out in a rather stiff taste, and adorned with fancy summer-houses, chiefly in the oriental style. We reached the ancient, fortified city of Utrecht, about five ; walked out, to look at the fine cathedral and the tower, and then proceeded five miles further, to the pleasant, retired village of 1826.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 71 Zeist, where the Moravians have a hirge establishment. The inn, where we are accommodated, is in a style of neat simplicity, quite characteristic of the community ; it is called " Die Briidcr Gemeine." ord, Fourth-day. Walked out altogether, to call on the pastor of the Moravian community, who received us with affectionate kindness. One of his daughters, who has been in England, and speaks our language well, accompanied her father in showing us over a part of the buildings. In the school, we saw a gi-eat number of fine girls, amongst them, some whose parents were labouring as missionaries in distant lands. It was an interesting morning ; we walked round the burial place, where the nightingale was singing melodiously, and visited the chapel and the shops of the brethren, where a variety of articles are sold ; purchased some trifles, as remembrances, and then returned to the house of the pastor Friiauf His wife is very infirm, from rheumatism : we conversed a little with her in German, and after partaking of some refreshment, a feeling of heavenly good was mercifully permitted ; when my companions were strengthened to address these dear fellow-believers, and the language of supplication was offered. At this second call, a person was present, who had spent much of his life in the army ; — was amongst the Dutch troops, who had been nourished in England, during the late war. He spoke, with warm, and evidently heartfelt, gratitude, of the generous treatment, they had experienced from our country ; and said, it gave him peculiar pleasure, to meet vsdth any persons be- longing to a nation he so highly esteemed, and for which he should ever pray. This introduced a conversation, on the subject of war, in which the views of our Society were somewhat ex- plained. After dinner, we visited pastor Passavant, who has the care of the brethren's department. He appeared to be a spiri- tually minded man, though of a very lively disposition ; was very kind to us, and gave us recommendations to some of his friends in Switzerland. Before we parted, the salutation of gospel fellow- ship, was addressed to him. The daughter of pastor Friiauf, whom we saw in the morning, took tea with us, and we found her a sweet, interesting young woman ; at parting, she said it was a comfort to feel united in the Lord. Hh, Fifth-day. Before we set off, this morning, pastor Friiauf 72 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1826. called, to bring a little book for my sister and self ; a parting present from his daughter, with a kind note from her. He also presented a book to C. H., as a memento of the time, we had spent at Zeist ; said they should long remember it, — we had felt so much together, — could not express himself easily in English, but said, he felt much more than he could say. On its being re- marked, that it was animating to those in younger life, to observe the support extended to such as had been long endeavoiu-ing to follow the Saidour, he told us, that his parents had so carefully instilled into his mind, the principles of religion, that he could not remember the time, when he did not fear and believe in the Lord, — had not known what it was to wander very far from Him, and had been favoured with great tenderness of spirit in early life, — that he desired still the same feelings, but remarked, that although there was now less of that lively sensibility which had marked his eai'lier days, he trusted his love of heavenly thing!? was more steady and constant : we parted in much chi-istian sympathy, and I trust, some union of heart in the faith and hope of the gospel. We left Zeist, about nine o'clock, and travelled, through a pleasant, though flat country, to Amersfoort., a neat little Dutch town, and then proceeded towards Deventer ; found the travelling tedious, and the more so, from our not being able to ascertain distances, with any precision. Our route lay through a solitary forest, and as evening approached, we began to fear, we should not reach our destination before dark ; especially as, from the various accounts of people on the road, we apprehended it would prove farther than we had supposed. The evening was fine and serene, — the country rather more peopled. At length, a long bridge over a fine river, roused us from the stillness, evening naturally induces, and an old stone gateway ushered us into Deventer, an ancient and strongly fortified town. 5th, Sixth-day. Walked a little to see the town, and to look at the bridge we had passed the evening before. We found it constructed on piles of wood, placed in a row of boats. About eight, set off for Delden. On the way, met many country people, going to market at Deventer, in the various costumes of the neighbourhood. The road, as we di-ew near the confines of Germany, became gradually more sandy, and very fatiguing for 1826.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 73 the horses ; but we reached Delden, the last tovra in Holland, about the middle of the day ; took some refreshment there, and set out for Bentheim. The way, tlu'ough a deep sand, and the country, one extended, dreary plain, continuing, with little relief of trees or habitations, till we approached Bentheim. The road became extremely rough and stony, as we slowly ascended the precipitous rock, on which the town is built, surmounted by an ancient fortress, the castle or palace, of the Prince of Bentheim. At a rustic German inn, close to the castle, we took up om- lodg- ing for the night ; its aspect was very wild and somewhat forlorn, but the people very civil. We were shown into a large hall, whose ancient furniture and decorations reminded us of the days of chivalry. Our hostess made us a wood fire, on the hearth, at which we aired our bedding ; afterwards walked into the apart- ment, occupied by the family, to see the arrangements of a German village dwelling. This was a very large room, with a pair of ample doors, and an earthen floor ; at one end, was a fire on the hearth, with a pan of potatoes boiling for supper ; before it, stood a massy table, where the diivers and several men of the family were enjoying their evening repast, whilst a tall greyhound was occasionally helping himself from one of the plates. In the middle of the room, stood our carriage, drawn in for the night, and over it, a trap door, conducting by a ladder, I believe, to the sleeping rooms of the men. Along the side, were arranged, in several stalls, a numerous family of horses, cows, &c., quietly taking their evening meal. 6th, Seventh-day. The morning very fine ; walked round the castle, whilst the horses were preparing, and set off about seven ; our route over a most uninteresting tract of country to Rheine, a small Prussian town ; the approach to it marked by numerous crucifixes, and other indications of a Roman Catholic neighbour- hood. The inn, where we stayed a short time to refresh our- selves, a most comfortless, dirty place. They had spread a white counterpane for the table cloth, and the floor of the room looked as if it had not known a sweeping, for a very long period. As we passed out of the town, we saw many more crucifixes, and felt our spirits quite depressed with the moral darkness that was per- ceptible, and with the want of civilisation that was very apparent, and marked the oppresbive influence ol superstition and ignorance. 74 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1826. The road from this place so heavy, we were still obliged to have four horses, and could only go, in general, a foot's pace : the horses loosely hung together with ropes ; fine, powerful animals, but not much indebted to the care of their grooms ; — a Prussian postilion, with a blue jacket and orange trimming, a bugle slung over the left shoulder, which he blew, when we approached a village, and at one point of the road, where there is an echo, he stopt and blew a long blast, the effect of which was very fine. About five in the evening, we reached Ippenbiihren, where we were glad to rest for the night. 7th, First-day. Set out for Osnabriick, through a very pleasing country, gradually assuming a more English appearance, as we entered the dominions of our own sovereign. The road something better, but very rough and stony, and we found it a long stage, of twenty -foui- English miles. Came into Osnabriick, between one and two ; shops all open. Spent a solitary afternoon at the inn ; all very low ; feared I had done wrong in not men- tioning to my companions, before we left Ippenbiihren, the re- luctance I felt to travel on First-day morning. We might, perhaps, have sat down at our inn there, and, at least, been refreshed ourselves, if any of the people had not joined us.* From various causes, closely tried at Osnabriick, perhaps in some degree introduced into a feeling of the spirit of the place. It is an ancient city, containing eleven thousand inhabitants, Protes- tant and Catholic. A large place of worship, once belonging to the latter, but now Lutheran, was opposite our inn. The doors being open, we looked in ; it retains the crucifixes and other ornaments of the Romish worship ; the altar screen, gilded, and * Ippenbiibren is one of the places. I think, where we missed of com- fort, for want of faithfulness and simplicity. Some of oui party beinf desirous to spend the First-day at Osnabriick, we had hoped to reacli that city on Seventh-day evening, but found we could not get further than Ippenbiihren ; myself so very poorly, that to stop anywhere was a relief. Still, the anxiety to reach Osnabriick, induced a desire, we should, if possible, go tliither early on First-day morning. I was fearful of urging my sentiments too strongly, because my indisposition naturally disinclined me to make any effort, and I would not willingly be a hindrance to the service of others. The distance to Osnabriick proved so much greater than we were given to expect, that we did not arrive till noon. Nothing came on the First-day, to comfort us at this place, and we heard after- wards, there was a company of religious i)eople, at or near lp[)enbiihren, who had withdrawn from the various modes of worship tliey were ac- quainted with, and to whom, it is likely, we might have gained access, if we had remained patiently there. 1826.] MEMOIRS UF MARIA FOX. composed of very elaborate carved work, describing the various scenes of our Saviour's sufferings. The manner in which the First-day is spent in these countries, is very depressing. On our arrival at Osnabriick, the waiter, who brought in our dinner, handed us the play-bill for the evening, as a thing of course, and we had reason to fear, that a person, to whom some one had given us a recommendation as a serious man, was at the theatre, when C. H. called in the evening. Sth, Second-day. Left Osnabriick, and had a fine ride, through a pleasing country, to Mille, and from thence to Her- ford, through tremendous roads, the ruts so fearfully deep and shaking, we were often obliged to walk ; but at length arrived safely, about half-past eight, fifteen miles in six hovirs. On the way, saw a group of labouring men, resting by the road-side ; gave them German tracts, which they joyfully received. We distributed a great many, through the journey, and they were seized with avidity, like the thirsty ground drinking in the welcome shower. WHITTLN IN THE CARUIAGE, BETWEEN MII.LE AND HERFORD. Man has nought but what is given, By the bounteous Lord above ; Nought but what he owes to heaven, Source of wisdom, power and love. Sharers in one common nature, Erring wanderers day by day ; Shall a guilty, fallen creature, Harshly judge its kindred clay ? Be it. Lord, by Thee forbidden ; Rather lead our souls to trace All the wonders that are hidden. In thy covenant of grace. Love, surpassing all expression, Still in every age the same ; Mercy, covering all transgression In a dying Saviour's name. ^th, Third day. Walked before breakfast, to call on H. E., a poor friend belonging to the Two-months' Meeting of Pyrmont and Minden, who has a wife and four children. The man and his wife, both in delicate health, indeed the former seriously 76 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1826. affected with a complaint on the lungs. An aged father of the wife was present, and a comfortable feeling prevailed in sitting a little with them. We were not able to make them understand much, as they could only speak German ; but my dear companions addressed a few words to them in that language, and ability was mercifully afforded, to commend them to the keeping of the Almighty Father, who seeth the solitary, and whose "tender mercies are over all his works." After leaving them, we went to see the house, formerly the residence of the Princess Elizabeth of the Rhine, now a cotton-factory. The inhabitant of the centre apartments, still a good dwelling, was very obliging, and showed us the garden, which is very large, and laid out in antique style. We walked to a sort of arbour, formed by the twining branches of aged trees, under whose shade, we fancied William Penn might have spent some of the pleasant hours, he has recorded in his account of that pious lady. Set off about nine for Lemgo, where we stayed an hour to refresh ourselves ; walked out to survey this very ancient and remarkable looking, little town, full of the most singular specimens of ancient architecture. The villages we have seen to-day, are wretched beyond all description, and their in- habitants miserably dirty, but the country beautiful, fruitful and well cultivated. Our ride from Lemgo to Pyrmont has been truly delightful, the horizon skirted with hills of varying outline, whilst the nearer undulations of hill and vale, were fringed with rich woods, just appearing in the most vivid green of spring. The approach to Pyrmont is peculiarly beautiful. The town situated in a complete gTove of trees, in a sort of basin naturally formed by the fine and abruptly broken hills, covered with rich woods, whilst the glow of the declining sun, casting their shadows over each other, heightened the effect. We arrived, about half-past eight, at H. Seebohm's, a widow, with a daughter and niece residing with her. We have neat, comfortable apartments, and feel it a welcome rest, after seven days' close travelling. Had a precious time together, after our evening reading, when the voice of thanksgiving and prayer was offered, and we retired under feelings of thank- fulness to our great Preserver, who has brought us safely through this long journey.* * [The following note was inserted iu M. F.'s journal at a subsequent date.] — As there is frequent mention of scenery and other objects, in these 1826.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 77 lO^A, FouHh-day. Attended the little meeting : there were not, I think, twenty Friends present ; most of them poor, as to this world. It was a low time, but towards the conclusion, a little renewed ability was afforded us, to draw their attention to the grace that bringeth salvation. Walked part of the way to Friedensthal, through a beautiful forest scene. We had the mortification to find that Louis Seebohm was gone to Amsterdam to meet us. On C. H.'s return from Friedensthal, he brought with him Ernst, our driver, whose countenance was brightened with joy, at having received permission, from the King of Pinissia, to resume the little property he had possessed, and of which he had been deprived, in consequence of his refusal to bear arms. In the evening, read together a part of S. Grubl)'s journal. Wth, Fifth-day. Devoted this day, almost wholly, to the interesting occupation of ^^Titing letters for England. Had the pleasure of welcoming Louis Seebohm from his long journey. 12i/;, Sixth-day. Studied our German before breakfast ; after- wards walked to the Spa, and up one of the hills in the neigh- bourhood, to breath the fine, pure air, and look on the pictxiresque scenery ; our time of rest being somewhat prolonged, it being thought best not to enter on the family visits, till after First-day. This interval is a time, in which we are often greatly tried, and faith seems reduced very low. Oh ! that the grain of faith may be constantly cherished, be it ever so small, and then, it M ill be found effectual, in the appointed time, to the removing of moun- tains. In the afternoon, walked to the Dunst-hdhle, a natural phenomenon in the neighbourhood. We approached the cavern by a winding walk, ornamented with trees and flowering shrubs ; seats being placed here and there amongst them. The cavern is on the side of the hill, from thirty to forty feet below the surface of the earth ; scooped into the form of a basin, and entered by a flight of stone steps. At the bottom, is a strata of carbonic acid gas, naturally evolved from the earth, and this is, perhaps, the only place where this is known, except the Grotto del Cane, near Nai)los. memoiandimis, it may be proper to remark , that we never diverged from our route, to visit any object of curiosity, or stayed in a place for this purpose, thougli we might sometimes fill up time, in this way, which seemed to be unemployed, as to the more imjiortnnt business of our journey. 78 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FuX. [1826. The flame of a large bundle of lighted straw, was extinguished, as soon as it was brought witliin two feet of the grou^nd, and at the mouth of the cave, dead bii-ds were lying, which had flown within the influence of the vapour. Sometimes it is as high as eight feet above the surface. On our return, tasted one of the mineral springs at its source ; found it strongly impregnated with carbonic acid. 13th, Seventh-day. Rose, under feelings of much depression, but I tiTist, with some desii'e to be found in the way of duty ; spent the morning within doors ; in the afternoon, walked to Friedensthal, and made a pleasant call at L. S.'s. IMh, First-day. Went to meeting, with a small company of simple-hearted Friends, in low circumstances. Many persons, not of our Society, came in, and were rather unsettled during the time of silence. My three companions were engaged to proclaim the gospel message amongst them, and there was great sensibility apparent in some. As to myself, ch-yness and destitution were my portion. Oh ! for a quiet waiting and patient dependence on the one Source of help, on Him "that hath the key of David," who " openeth and no man shutteth, and shutteth and no man openeth." After dinner, we went to Friedensthal, and attended the reading meetino; at John Seebohm's. ]\Iost of the Friends were assembled. J. S. read a part of the abridged " Life of George Fox," and the fiftieth, fifty-first, and fifty-second chapters of Isaiah, in German and English ; afterwards our certificates were read. Had a pleasant walk home in the evening. \bth, Second-day. We were joined by Louis Seebohm, who accompanied us in the ^-isits to the families, as interpreter; for this oflice he is peculiarly qualified. My dear companions were each enabled to prove their love to the blessed cause, and to labour in word and doctrine ; but as to me, it was a day of dark- ness and gloominess, wherein the spring of consolation and refresh- ment seemed to be wholly closed up ; and I accompanied them, from sitting to sitting, in silence and in a state of mental de- pression, that led me to inquii-e, whether any gTeat mis-stepping could be the cause ; but was somewhat comforted in remembering the words of our blessed Lord to Peter, on that memorable occasion, when he washed the feet of the disciples, " What I do, thou knowest not now, but thou shalt know hereafter." 1826.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 79 16^/!-, Third-day. Endeavoured to struggle against the dis- covery of my depression, and to assume some appearance of cheerfulness. Walked to Lowenhausen ; here we sat down with an aged friend, Frederic Persche, and his wife ; the latter, the person mentioned by Sarah Grubb, as having walked fifteen miles, from Buer to Osnabriick, to meet herself and friends, in her second journey on the continent. My dear companions were enlarged in gospel communication. In the latter part of the day, a little sense of good was mercifully afforded to my tossed mind, wherein a degree of capacity was found, to acknowledge the faith- fulness of J ehovah. 17^/;, Fourth-day. We assembled with the little company, and a precious feeling of the extension of divine love and good- ness, was permitted to cover us, almost from the first sitting down. After meeting, finished visitins; the families. \9th, Sixth-day. Rose early, and prepared to set out for Minden ; took leave of our friends in much love. We had a beautiful ride, through a picturesque country, to Hameln, a con- siderable town on the fine river Weser. As we approached it, we passed the side of the fort or citadel, on the summit of a lofty and precipitous hill, commanding the river and town. It was stormed by the French troops in 1808, and, after a dreadful carnage, this strong fortress was carried, and the English forces compelled to retire. Alas, poor Germany ! how has the desolating hand of cruel war, laid waste thy fields and drained thy cities, carrying innumerable moral e\'ils through thy land ! The table d'hote was spread, but as it was thought necessary for us to pursue our journey without loss of time, we concluded it best, not to stay that long meal. The company, however, had begun to assemble before we left the inn, and A. A. was not easy without going in, to distribute a few tracts and books amongst the party, who were chiefly military men. After this, we set out again, our road lying through a highly cultivated country, beautified by the windings of the Weser, and clothed with luxuriant woods, over which, the distant mountains, in bold, blue outline, marked the horizon ; the nearer hills intersecting each other in the most pleasing variety of forms, with little villages rising in the valleys and among the trees. At the small town of Biickeburg, we 80 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1826. alighted, and whilst the horses were changing, walked to look at the castle or palace belonging to the Prince of Biickeburg. It is an ancient building, with beautiful grounds attached to it, where modem art and taste have been employed, to heighten the effect of nature's beauties. The entrance to the outer court, was by a strong, stone gateway, with a fine Saxon arch. At Biickeburg, lives one Friend belonging to the meeting at Minden, who came out to speak to us. When we got out of this place, the road became very good, and was planted nearly all the way to Minden, with poplar or apple trees ; in one part, it was skirted on each side, for some distance, by a complete grove of acacias. The country on the right now became more level, but the same fine, bold hills continued to bound our view to the left, until we reached Minden, a garrison town, very strongly fortified. We entered it, over a heavy draw-bridge, and through a stone gateway, protected by powerful batteries. The town has a comfortless, military appear- ance, and the inn we lodge at, (the Wilhelm von Preussen) is the most uncomfortable we have yet seen, but being weary, we gladly retired to rest. WRITTEN ON THE ROAD FROM PYRMONT TO MINDEN, WHEN UNDER FEELINGS OF TRIAL. Dearest Lord, to thee we fly, Hear, oh ! hear our suppliant cry : From thy high and holy place, From thy treasury of grace. Grant supplies of faith and power Proportioned to each trying hour. Bowed before thy mercy-seat, We cast our sorrows at thy feet : Oh I teach us all things to resign, Content to have no will but thine ; Direct our hearts, in patience still To do or suffer all that will ; In earth beneath, and heaven above, That will is mercy, truth and love ; In clouds or sunshine, day or night, We feel that all Thou dost is right, And angel liarps are tuned to praise Thy faithfulness in all thy ways. 1826.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 81 20th, Seventh-day. Walked out with L. S., and called on a man and his wife, acquaintances of his. The man was formerly a member of our Society, and had lived in London. They were very kind, and we took some refreshment wdth them : afterwards, it seemed best to express a few words, encouraging them to a faith- ful employment of whatever talents might be committed to their trust. Walked round the cathedral, an ancient structui'e belong- ing to the Roman Catholics ; on looking in, observed it splendidly decorated with pictures, crucifixes, &c., a silver lamp burning before the altar, and upon it were placed candlesticks of massy silver. Whilst we surveyed these ornaments of a temple, pro- fessedly christian, we could not forbear contrasting it, with the simplicity and lowly appearance of the great Founder of our holy religion, whose object it was, to draw the attention of men from the ceremonial observances of a more outward dispensation, and to fix it on the gi'eat object of true worship. " God is a spirit, and they that worship Him, must worship Him in spirit and in truth." Far be it from me to suppose, there are not spiritual worshippers under every modification of christian profession ; but the externals of the Eoman Catholic service, whilst they appeal powerfully to the senses, are wonderfully calculated to draw the mind from that inward work of religion, which must be wrought in the soul that is made acceptable to God, through the merits and mediation of our adorable Redeemer. 21 si. First-day. After breakfast, L. S. conducted us to the meeting, held in a large commodious room, at F. Schmidt's. There, we found a considerable number of the inhabitants, who were probably attracted by the appearance of strangers, to join the simple-hearted company of Friends who regularly assemble. Amongst them, were many genteel-looking people, and several military ofiicers of distinction, wearing the Prussian uniform, and decorated with orders of military honour. They behaved with remarkable solidity, and there was a very precious feeling in the silent part of the meeting, as well as whilst ability was renewedly afforded, to preach to them the everlasting gospel of God our Saviour. The meeting was rather long, and at twelve, the mili- tary were obliged to retire, it being the hour of public duty ; but they withdrew in a very proper manner, and afterwards noticed G 82 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1826. our little company very respectfully in the town. In the after- noon, attended the reading meeting held in the same room ; most of the Friends present. Our certificates were then read, and notice given to the Friends of Eidinghausen and Hille, that we were to visit them in their families, this week ; several of them had come over to attend the meeting at Minden, to-day. After tea, we visited C. P. and wife ; he is a brother of Ernst, and one of the three, who, five or six years ago, suffered on account of their conscientious refusal to bear arms, as a part of the militia of the country. In the Prussian dominions, every man above the age of twenty, is by law, a soldier ; but these young men felt they could not comply with the requisition. Christian, the one we have seen this evening, was confined in prison, and received so many lashes, that the surgeon gave him up for dead. Charles, a younger brother, was imprisoned, and Ernst (who has been our driver) was deprived of all civil rights, and the little inheritance that was to descend to him from his mother. The government, finding all its efforts ineffectual, they were permitted to regain their personal liberty ; but it was not till within the last few weeks, that Ernst has received permission to repossess his small property, by the king's especial command. They are in low cir- cumstances, but appear to have a measure of that faith which makes truly rich, and gives victory over the world. I will here notice an anecdote, related to us by Louis Seebohm, in the course of a conversation respecting these young men. Twenty years ago, he waited on the present King of Prassia, at Petershagen, where he was then reviewing the troops, to present a petition from Friends at Minden, praying for liberty of conscience, as they were subject to many difficulties in the exercise of their worship, &c. The king received it graciously, and commanded one of his officers present, to inform the friends, that liberty of con- science was a holy thing with him. During T. Shillitoe's visit to Germany, in 1824, L. S. accompanied him to Berlin, where he as- sisted him as interpreter. The former had a very satisfactory in- terview with the prince, and afterwards, by his introduction, with the king. T. Shillitoe expressed what he felt to be required, which the king and his adjutants received in the most agreeable manner. The interview took place in the garden, and when T. S. took off" 1826.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 83 his hat to address the king, as a minister of the gospel, the king and his attendants also took off their hats, and remained uncovered till the communication was ended. The friends then presented an appeal to the king, from Ernst Peytsmeyer, setting forth the persecution he had suflFered, on account of his refusal to bear arms. The king appeared greatly siu-prised ; said he knew nothing of the transaction, and that it was wholly without his approbation. L. S. then took the opportunity to remind him, that he was one of those who had presented a petition twenty years before ; M'hen the king had assured them, liberty of conscience was a holy thing with him. " So it is," replied the king, " and this young man shall not suffer." 22nd, Second-day. In the evening, set out for Rehme, about nine miles from Minden, where is a country inn, at which it was thought best for us to stay, during our visit to the Friends of Eidinghausen. We found the fresh air of the country, and the rural scenes of a garden, on the edge of the beautiful stream, a very agreeable change, from the oppressive atmosphere of Minden ; morally oppressive indeed it is ; a strongly garrisoned town, con- taining two thousand soldiers, and with that state of manners, which such a population naturally induces ; the residence of so many unemployed military, having a demoralizing influence on the character of the inhabitants. 23rc?, Third-day. Went, in the morning, to Eidinghausen, and paid six visits amongst the Friends there. They are, most of them, in very low circiimstances, and their state was to us, truly depressing ; yet amongst them, were those with whom our minds were drawn into much sympathy, in the belief, that amidst their outward disadvantages, they were seeking after that which is durable. We visited the family of Peytsmeyer, including Ernst, our worthy driver, in the miserable cottage of their mother, and regretted that he must return to the habits of his native village. Wished very much to interest Fiiends in England, in devising some plan for the raising of their condition, if possible, to that of a comfortable labouring peasantry. We held our little meetings in the large apartment of the cottage, which is pretty much the same in every German village ; some- thing like an English bam, with great folding doors and an G 2 84 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1826. earthen floor ; at one end, a foe on the hearth, without any chimney ; the smoke winding its way to the opposite door, or escaping by some of the many crevices in the roof. Round the sides, are ranged in stalls, all the live-stock of the establishment, — horses, cows, calves, goats and pigs, whilst the poiiltry inhabit the higher stories, and round the top, a numerous tribe of small birds make their nests : besides these, a miscellaneous assemblage of dogs, cats, &c., inhabit this apartment, where man and beast seem to live harmoniously together. We returned about five o'clock, to our inn, at Rehme ; retired to the garden, where, seated by the murmuring stream, we read several sweet hymns, and passed a tranquil evening, long to be remembered. The sun went down in all its beauty, and as we watched it, gradually sink- ing behind the summits of the distant hills, gilding the purple clouds with its radiance, reminded each other of the surpassing glories of that world, which owes not its light to our luminary ; which needeth not the light of the sim, nor of the moon, because the Lord God doth enhghten it, "and the Lamb is the light thereof." Had our evening reading before we retired, and were comforted together, in the remembrance of the love and mercy of our dear Redeemer, who has opened the way for his ransomed people into this glorious city ; and though the path He trod, must be trodden also by his faithful followers, in their several degrees of suffering, yet, is it not " enough for the disciple that he be as his Master, and the servant as his Lord?" 24;th, Fourth-day. Went, after an early breakfast, to Eidinghausen ; sat down with the Friends and a number of per- sons of the neighbourhood, in a large room at Carl Henker's ; it was a solemn time, wherein we were renewedly favoured with the extension of divine help, and the gospel message flowed to this little assembly. J\Iy dear companions were engaged to invite them to gather to the fountain of living waters ; and towards the close of the meeting, the covering of supplication was felt, and intercession offered, for those who had turned from the holy com- mandment, and for the enlargement of the universal church. After meeting, we visited three families, for whom we felt much in- terested, particularly for that of R — : they appeared very poor, and his wife had undergone a severe surgical operation, by which 1826.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 85 she had lost the sight of one eye. We left with them something from R. L.'s liberality, and it appeared a truly acceptable and seasonable help. Returned to Rehme. Ernst cheered us at night, by bringing a packet of letters from England. This is the day, on which our dear friends, in London, assemble for the Yearly Meeting ; we have thought much of them, and have been comforted in believing, they are favoured with the covering of heavenly good. 25 ^/j, Fifth-day. Rested to-day at Rehme. Passed the morning in an arbour, on the banks of the river, with my dear sister, writing to our English friends. Went to see the salt-works here ; where the purest salt is produced, by evaporation, from a natural spring. The water is pumped up by machinery, to the top of a frame- work, filled with a thick intertexture of thorns, through which it gradually drops, and falling into troughs at the bottom, is con- veyed to the boiling houses, where it remains for eight days, in capacious cisterns, over a fire, and forms large, flat crystals of strong salt. We also walked to the spring, about half a mile distant ; it is at the depth of one hundred and ninety feet from the surface, and is extremely salt and strongly chalybeate. So large a quantity of carbonic acid gas is evolved from it, as some- times to make it dangerous for the men to descend. In the evening, the family at the inn were invited to attend our reading ; many of them came, and A. A. addressed them in a very instructive manner ; they appeared pleased with the opportunity, and one of the servants, an elderly woman, said, she should be thankful for such an hour every evening. 2Qth, Sixth-day. Soon after seven, set out for Hille ; a distance of, perhaps, fifteen English miles, through tremendous roads, which we could only traverse at a very slow pace ; the country romantic and beautiful. We were frequently obliged to get out and walk. I had hurt my ancle, by slipping from the step of the carriage, and the heat and walking brought on much inflammation. The dis- tance, as usual, turned out much greater than we had been given to expect, and we did not reach the village, till near twelve o'clock, when we found the little company of Friends waiting to receive us ; but their neighbours, some of whom had been assembled, were gone. The cottage was of the same description as those we had 8G MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1826. before seen, but cleaner, and the Friends, a comfortable looking company, whose faces it was pleasant to see. They soon informed their neighboui's of our arrival, and many came. We had a satisfactory meeting, in which our little band were severally en- gaged ; it was in a large room, surrounded by the animals, as before. After the meeting was over, and we had taken some ■refreshment, we sat down with the few members of our Society, who form this little meeting, and were comforted in believing, that they are honest-hearted professors of religion, who are de- sirous to be found walking uprightly. Had some interesting conversation with them in German, and parted in the feeling of much interest. We had a warm, dusty ride, through a deep sand, to Minden, about ten miles. 27^/(, Seventh-day. Rested, to-day, at Minden, and as to myself, wholly confined to the house ; rest being absolutely ne- cessaiy, on account of the state of my ancle. Much perplexed in mind, respecting our journey from this place. We are to go, on Second-day, towards Hambm-gh, and I have, for some days, ap- prehended it might be right for us to spend, at least, a day, in the city of Hanover ; but inquiring about the distances, my com- panions tell me, it is thirty-five miles out of our way, and as I do not find any of them incUned to go, I feel afraid of iirging it. 28^^, First-day. At breakfast, the subject of going to Han- over was renewed ; still it made little or no way. At ten, we went to meeting ; which was extremely crowded, and the people quiet, considering the great heat of the weather, and pressure of numbers. A. A. was engaged in gospel communication, as were my sister and C. H., and the language of supplication was offered for those present, and for the advancement of the Redeemer's king- dom. I dined at J. Rasche's ; my dear companions returned to the inn. A number of soldiers went to them there, to ask for books : C. Hanbury had walked out ; and the whole party went up into A. Alexander's room, where they pom-ed forth their wishes in German, of which she could not understand a word. This unexpected and extraordinary visit, from a company of armed men, naturally gave her a momentary alarm, and she hastily called to my sister, who was in an adjoining apartment. The latter, finding it was a request for tracts, conducted them to our sitting-room, and sup- 1826.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 87 plied them with such as she could find in German. They asked what they were to pay, and appeared much pleased, when told they were a o;ift. I did not ^ to the readinnj meeting, in the afternoon ; but rested my foot on the sofa, and wept, being, indeed, brought into a great strait, for I felt afraid of laying too much stress on my own feelings, and had hoped that if it were right for us to go by way of Hanover, some of the party, besides myself, would feel it so. My mind was however, quieted, in the desire to be wholly guided by the blessed Master ; and I trusted that He would order for us. My companions joined me after meeting, and we sat with four young men ; one of them was the friend who had suffered cruel punishments, for his refusal to bear arms, — had been laid on the laths, a peculiar kind of tor- ture ; and several of them had suiFered, in different ways, or were liable to do so. There was a very solemn feeling in this little sitting, and our party were, each, engaged to encourage them to stedfastness in the horn- of trial, and to comfort them in the remembrance of the sufferings of our blessed Lord, who had " trodden the wine-press alone." In the course of conversation, mention being made of our journey for to-morrow, some one present said, though Hanover was out of our way, the road was so much better, that it would not make much difference. It was immediately suggested, that we had better take that route without more hesitation ; all quietly acquiesced, and my heart was made thankful to Him, who makes way for his dependent, though un- worthy children. In a short time of retirement, our dear friends, J. and J. R., were encouraged to faithfulness, in the performance of every duty, and we took an affectionate leave. Went to see a Lutheran minister and his wife, who have a fine family of five daughters ; several of their friends were with them, making quite a group of young people. We took a cup of tea with them, and after some social conversation, C. H. requested a little quiet, and addressed them in an affectionate manner, and they were com- mended, on the bended knee, to the care and keeping of the great and good Shepherd. The spirit of the place is not favourable to the growth of religion, and we felt much for this family, who appeared well disposed, but evidently weak, and afraid to avow themselves openly. 88 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [182() 29th, Second-day. Awoke early, with a sweet and consoling remembrance of the hymn in the Olney collection, entitled, "The Believer's safety," and beginning with, " Incarnate God ! the soul that knows Thy name's mysterious power, Shall dwell in undisturbed repose, Nor fear the trying hour." Rose, and prepared for our joiii-ney. When all was ready, the family were requested to come in for a few minutes. The master and mistress, son and daughter came, and A. A. was engaged in solemn supplication, for the family, the inhabitants of the city, and for the feeble messengers, who had been employed to proclaim the gospel word among them. They appeared pleased with the opportunity. We had a pleasant ride to Biickeburg, where the worthy old friend, Charlotte Althans, came out to meet us, bring- ing a quantity of nice biscuits, which she begged us to receive, and we took leave of her, with a feeling of much love. Proceeded agreeably through a fine country, till we came within a short dis- tance of Stadthagen, a small town ; when one of our horses, which was young and spirited, took fright at a heap of stones by the road-side, and turning short roiind, whirled the carriage, with surprising force, to the edge of the bank, and gave us all a very great alarm. L. S., who was on the box, instantly sprang off, and went to the horse's head ; he immediately became tractable, and we were happily rescued from our perilous situation, without any injury, except a slight bmise received by the postilion. I felt no little on the occasion, having been, in some degree, the cause of our coming this road ; but the sweet hymn before-mentioned, was brought forcibly to my remembrance at the moment, and seemed to stay my mind in dependence on God. We have, indeed, great cause for humble thankfulness, in the review of this day's preser- vation. May the language of our souls be, " What shall I render unto the Lord, for all his benefits towards me ? " We all alighted from the carriage, and walked into the town, where we stayed a short time, and then travelled to Niendorf, a pretty village, where is a celebrated sixlphur spring ; the gi'ounds about the well elegantly laid out, for the accommodation of those who come to 1826.] MEMOIRS OF MAKIA FOX. 89 it, as a watering place. We dined, and went on afterwards to Hanover : on the way, passed within sight of the country resi- dence of a person of that city, who is engaged in a Tract Society, on whom C. H. would gladly have called, having procured an in- troduction to him at Minden, but the postilion could not be pre- vailed on to diverge from the road. We came into Hanover about half-past six. The approach to it, through a fertile, extended plain ; the road wide and good, planted, for some miles, with apple and other trees. The entrance of the city, over a bridge crossing the river Seine, is beautiful. In the evening, L. S. and C. H. called on a bookseller of the name of Harn, a man of some influence, and one of the directors of the Bible Society. 30th, Third-day. This morning, a serious person of the name of Brennecke, a shoemaker, called at our inn. From him we obtained much interesting information ; find there is a little company who meet at his house, on First-day evenings, for reli- gious improvement : some of them, in an infant state and fearful of avowing themselves, but he undertook to inquire, whether they could be collected before our departure. There was a precious feeling about this worthy man, who seems to stand much alone, and, after our morning reading, we were enabled to salute him, as a fellow-believer in our Lord and Saviour. He appeared to feel what was expressed ; told us of a number of pious persons who have withdrawn themselves from the usual modes of worship, at a small place, between this city and Bruns'wick. They have met with much opposition, and have increased in proportion. It was fixed for us to go in the evening, to meet a small number of serious persons, at the house of — Pollens, about a mile out of the city. We found P. and his family, our friend B. and several others, in their pleasant garden. We were conducted into an upper room, where we sat down in silence ; and our little band were engaged to encourage them, to follow a crucified Saviour, even though it might be in the path of suffering ; seeing it is only those, who are willing to suffer with Him, that can hope to reig-n with Him. We were, on the whole, glad we were with them ; though we apprehended, they were not in general very strong in their profession, yet, I trust some of them are sincerely desirous to be found faithful. Had a pleasant ride back, through 90 MEMOIRS OF MAHI.V FOX. [1826. the suburbs, which are beautiful, though the city itself is ancient and gloomy. 31s^, Fourth-day. Went on to Celle, a very pretty town, and a place of much consequence, being the principal law court in Hanover. It is here, the unhappy Queen of Denmark (our Princess Matilda) died, after several years' confinement. We dined at the table d'hote, where we met a number of genteel look- ing persons, who were very agreeable and well-behaved ; we con- versed, as well as we could, in our imperfect German. We found that a willingness to go to the table d'hote, from which we shmnk at first, was very necessary ; it was often the means of oui- meet- ing, unexpectedly, with opportunities for the distribution of tracts, and sometimes of conversation with serious persons. Left Celle, and travelled through a deep sand, to Bergen. The day fine, but hot ; the country much flatter than we have lately seen it, and occasionally barren, but in many places, enriched with com or pasturage, and the varied shading of the foliage, in its spring green ; — the stately oak, the waving birch, the majestic and full-flowered chestnut, blending with several varieties of fir, whilst the stunted juniper covered the foreground of this forest scene. Sixth Month \st, Fifth-day. Had a long, fatiguing day's journey, of fifty-eight miles, over very rough roads. As we approached Harburg, the country became more diversified ; the wood scenery very fine, and gradually ascending a hill, a most imposing and extensive prospect opened before us ; the Elbe winding beautifully through the vale beneath our feet, and close to its banks, lay the town of Harburg, finely shaded with wood, whilst, in the distance, the towers and lofty spires of Hambui-gli and Altona, gave a striking eifect to the whole. We came into Harburg, just in time for the evening steam-boat ; left the car- riage there, and proceeded down the river, to Hamburgh, where we soon found ourselves, agreeably lodged in the inn, called the " Stadt Petersburg," on the Jungfernstieg. ^nd, Sixth-day. Hamburgh is a busy, commercial city, con- taining people from many nations, and affording interesting op- portunities to the observer of mankind, but, alas ! little that is refreshing to the mind of the christian, who desires to keep his 1826.J MEMOins OF MARIA FOX. eye fixed on the better country. We dined at the table d'hote, with a very respectable-looking company, of about forty persons ; met there some very agreeable people, particularly a Lutheran minister, from Bremen, who recognized L. S., and said, he had sat by him in the Friends' meeting at Pyrmont. In the evening, we were introduced to W. Holpsapple, a very agreeable, thought- ful-looking young man, who has resided some time in London, where he had formed an acquaintance with several Friends. He is very kind and attentive to us, and appears desirous to render us every service in his power. 3rd, Seventh-day. R. Jackson, an English merchant, residing here, called on us ; he was well known to T. Shillitoe. W. H. also came, and with him, Gilbert Vander Smissen. G. V. S. and his brothers, with their now aged father, were, a few years ago, mer- chants of high standing in- Hamburgh, but, by a series of heavy losses, and, perhaps, too much extending their concerns, they became embarrassed, and failed. We had an affecting time to- gether, wherein we entered into sympathy with each other, under the different trials that had been permitted ; there was a sweet feeling over us, and the voice of thanksgiving was offered, for the many mercies bestowed, and for those dispensations of sorrow and affliction, which are designed to bring; us nearer to the source of purity and love. Our hearts were melted together, under a sense of the goodness of Jehovah, all whose paths are, indeed, mercy and truth, to them who keep his covenant and his testimonies. In the afternoon, W. Matthews, a young English minister, and his wife called on us, and were very friendly and agreeable, also a per- son of the name of Weichers. He appears to be a humble follower of our dear Saviour, and his company was instructive to us: he buried, five years ago, a very amiable wife, who had lived with him eleven months, in an affectionate union, and has left a little boy. The composure, yet tenderness, with which he spoke of her memory, and of her peaceful and happy entrance on eternity, were ani- mating and affecting. Although he had evidently a very lively feeling of his loss, he appeared able to repose on the consoling assurance, that his beloved partner was beyond the reach of sorrow and suffering, and centred for ever in eternal rest. We called on the family of H. Manecke, a merchant, who knows 92 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1826. L. Seebohm, and who had sent us a pressing invitation ; his wife, a very pleasing woman : they had with them a friend of theirs and his wife ; also J. Woltman, the daughter of a merchant here. They were all truly kind ; most of them spoke English. We paid them a very pleasant visit, and after tea had been handed, we were favoured with a quiet feeling ; when the desire was expressed, that our social interview might be made an op- portunity of stimulating each other, in the pursuit of those things which are excellent. We parted in much love. As there is no opening in this country for holding meetings, the only way in which we are able to meet with serious individuals, is to accept such invitations as we receive, to the houses of those to whom we have access, and, in simplicity, endeavour to yield to any little openings that may arise. It is cause of thankfulness, to meet with a few in almost every place, who appear to be preserved alive in spirit. The state of religion is, indeed, low in this country, and those who are, in any degree, made willing to stand for its support, have peculiar difficulties ; but, amidst the general tide of dissipation, there are some, who, as they continue faith- ful, will, we trust, show forth the Lord's praise, and be as a dew from Him, in the midst of many people. Uh, First-day. In our retirement, this morning, we were favoured with a precious quiet, and were, I think, enabled, in some measure, to drink together into one spirit ; under the in- fluence of this, I trust, a few words were expressed, and the voice of supplication ascended, for the blessing of preservation, and for the extension of divine goodness, to this city and nation. Before dinner, a person of the name of Hiippeden called on us ; we told him, it was our intention to sit down, in the evening, for the purpose of divine worship. He accordingly joined us ; and afterwards entered into a friendly and animated conversation, on some of the leading tenets of our Society. 5th, Second-day. C. M. and J. W. called on us ; their com- pany was particularly agreeable, and their conversation very affecting. They spoke of the state of reUgion amongst them, and, with tears, contrasted it with the religious privileges of England ; we felt much for them. When we parted, they begged to be re- membered in our prayers, and we took leave in much affection, 1826.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FuX. 93 and in the hope, if not permitted to meet again in this life, that we may be, one day, united, where separation is no more. Dined at table d'hote, and met some agreeable persons. Spent the evening at S. Jackson's, an English merchant, an agreeable and seriously disposed man. He had with him, a young man from Liverpool, J. M., who has become, of late, increasingly religious. We had much interesting conversation, and, before we parted, A. A. addressed them instructively, and C. H. was engaged in supplication for them. Qth, Third-day. Went to tea with our friend G. V. S. and his sweet wife. They are, with their aged father, an interesting group. W. H. joined us. The elder Vander Smissen, a most venerable, fine, old man, about eighty years of age, apparently drawing near to his heavenly rest, with a heart full of love to his Redeemer, and staid in a peaceful trust, which has kept him through many vicissitudes. Speaking of the year in which their great losses occurred, he says, he believes the Lord continued his life till then, that he might get more fully quit of the dross of the earth. The feeling of precious quiet that hovered around, even while we were enjoying a little social conversation, was very striking, and, at length, became so prevalent, that all yielded to it. It was an evening not to be forgotten, and we parted, under the cementing influence of that love which surmounts all the diversities of this mixed state, and is like an earnest of the re- union, we humbly hope, one day, to enjoy, before the throne of God, through the mercy of Him who loved us, and gave Himself for us, and washed us in his own blood. To Him be praise and glory, for ever and ever ! 1th, Fourth-day. Walked before breakfast on the Jungfem- stieg, — low and perplexed in mind ; we felt unable to decide about our passage, being very unwilling to let Ann Alexander go alone. Letters from England were welcomed by all our party, some of us having been much disappointed, in not receiving them regularly. We sat down for a short time of retirement together, but were interrupted by the arrival of the captain, who sails with the Whim to Hull. A. A. engaged her passage in this vessel.* Dined at • This was A. A.'s most direct course homewards. 94. MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1826. table d'hote. C. Hanbury went to see the vessel that meets the Harwnch packet at Cuxhaven. He secured berths for us in her, which was quite a relief to my sister and myself. After tea, we went to Altona. Came back by the ramparts, which are laid out for a public walk, tastefully planted with shrubs and flowers, and kept in neat order. Gravel walks wind through the shade of fine trees, over a diversified surface of ground, and command, at dif- ferent points, views of the Elbe, the shipping of the port of Ham- burgh, and the opposite shore, stretching in distant perspective. Had our evening reading, and retired, I trust, with thankful hearts for the feeling of quiet, in the prospect of once more em- barking on the great deep. 8th, Fifth-day. Went to Ottensen, to breakfast at the house of R. Jackson ; his wife is a native of Hampshire ; they have a lovely family of children, appear to be serious, valuable characters, and were very friendly to us. W. M. met us here ; he read the eighteenth chapter of Acts after breakfast, and engaged in prayer, we thouo;ht, with considerable feelino;. After he had concluded a petition for all present, C. H. knelt down with a supplication for our dear friends of the family, and for the little few who are endeavouring to stand for the Lord's cause in this city. It was an impressive and uniting time. A. S., a very serious and sensible woman, called on us, as she did one day before ; was desirous to obtain information respecting the principles of Friends, particularly on the point of women's preaching. We endeavoured to explain their views, and lent her a copy of J. J. Gurney's " Peculiarities." She told us on this second visit, that it had been quite satisfactory to her, and that she had derived encouragement from it, for she is in the habit, it appears, of seeing many young persons at her house, and occasionally imparts to them religious instraction ; this, she said, was not approved by some of the pastors. We begged her to accept the book, with which she was pleased, and took leave with much affection : sent us afterwards a German volume, " Betrachtungen iiber einzelne Abschnitte der Heiligen Schrift," of which I have since heard she is the author. Went to tea at J. Vander Smissen's at Altona, where we met another brother and wife, and their large family of pleasing young people ; several of 1826.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. their friends also joined us. We were favoured with a precious feeling of heavenly good, under which, the young people were in- structively addressed, and the company were encouraged to sted- fastness, in the faith and in the service of the dear Redeemer. We parted under that uniting influence, which is the cement of the cluistian family. 9th, Sixth-day. Several of our friends breakfasted with us. After our reading the fourth of John, C. H. addressed them. The language of thanksgiving was afterwards offered, and of intercession, in the name of a compassionate Saviour, for the faithful few here and everywhere, for the inhabitants of this country, and for all those who are turning aside from the holy commandment. We parted under a solemn feeling. Dear J. W. came in at the close, and took a most affectionate leave of us. She is a sweet, interesting girl, apparently much impressed with the importance of religion, and very diffident of herself ; said she was very weak, and that it was so easy to go back, without great watchfulness and divine help. We visited this morning, two mis- sionaries from the society in London, for promoting Christianity among the Jews ; Mauritz and O'Neil. They were engaged in the instruction of five Jewish children, the small beginning of a school they are endeavouring to establish. Their progress was pleasing, and we were gratified in seeing them. A. Alexander expressed a wish, to visit the company at table d'hote ; a request was therefore sent to permit her to do so. We accompanied, — it was a great trial of faith. The master of the inn, and, I believe, all the men servants, were present. A. A. was seated at the head of the long table, and was engaged in supplication for the company, for the inhabitants of the city and country, and par- ticularly for the household. It was a time of remarkable quiet. When we retired, many rose to shake hands, and several, who had dined there every day, took a most cordial leave, and expressed their good wishes. J. M., who was most kindly attentive, went with us on board the Courier, the little vessel that was to convey us to Cuxhaven. We sailed about four o'clock, p. m. ; four passengers besides ourselves ; had a fair wind and pleasant sail down the Elbe, a majestic river. The city and port of Hamburgh had a fine effect, as they gradually receded from our view. The steep 96 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1826. banks of the river, for many miles, shaded with rich woods, amongst which, villas and pleasure grounds tastefully situated, have a picturesque appearance. Before we had proceeded far, the gathering blackness towards the south, indicated an approaching tempest, and it soon burst upon us, in peals of loud thunder and flashes of awfully vi%'id lightning, vrith some rain. We were obhged to go below, but returned to the deck soon after six, when the storm had subsided, and had left a serene sky and the surface of the water almost calm, having taken away the fine breeze that had before filled our sails. Towards night, it freshened again, and with the ebb in our favour, we glided gently down the river ; passed on the left, Stade, in the Hanoverian dominions, a strono- fortress belonoing to the Eno-lish, and lower down on the right, Gliickstadt, a Danish fortress, bombarded by the English in 1813. Retired to the cabin before ten, and read the hundi'ed and fourth psalm ; went to our comfortable berths and slept well till near two o'clock, (on the morning of the 10th) when a bustle on deck and the sound of the pumps, startled us, and gave us the idea of danger, especially as we had, for some time, perceived our gradual approach to greater waters, by the increased pitching of our little vessel. It did not, however, prove to be any thing serious. On deck at half-past two, — lovely morning, — sea beautiful, — dawn very fine, — ^light-house at Cuxhaven a-head ; — a brig from London going for Hamburgh, in sight. Landed at Cuxhaven, sixty -five English miles from Ham- bui'gh, and were comfortably accommodated at the " Kdnig von England," kept by an Englishman. About four in the afternoon, discovered a distant sail, which we conjectured might be the Whim ; we therefore, took a boat and went out to some distance to watch her. As she proceeded under full sail, majestically towards us, we were confirmed in the idea, and waving a white handkerchief on an umbrella, for a signal, had soon the pleasui'e of seeing them open their gangway, lower the steps, and bear towards us. We came along-side, went on board, and had the great satisfaction of seeing our dear cousin once more. We parted in a few minutes, and saw the vessel go finely to sea, with her canvass well filled. llth, First-day. Sat down together, and had a precious time 1826, J MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 97 of quiet. After reading, the voice of prayer was permitted to arise, for preservation over the mighty deep, — for our dear friends in England, — for the inhabitants of that land we were about to leave, and for the faithful, everywhere. Went on board the Castlei-eagh, Captain Wadling, an English packet. Only two passengers, besides ourselves ; Captain Doubadieu and his wife ; he is engineer of the Festung, at Stade. They are very friendly and kind ; Captain W. attentive and agreeable, and accommo- dations excellent. OIF Heligoland ; an abrupt, high, flat rock, with a light-house upon it. Glorious sunset, mth uncommonly fanci- ful appearances in the clouds, as the orb sank gradually in the ocean. As night approached, the light on Heligoland very brilliant. Beautiful moon ; sat on deck, and watched its beams on the gently moving waters. Went below, and read the hundred and seventh psalm. \Wi, Second-day. Fine, warm morning ; but almost a dead calm. Mate says, we have scarcely made tliree miles all night. Breakfasted with our fellow-passengers, captain and mate. Afterwards, C. H. requested permission to read a psalm ; it was very readily acceded to ; he read the hundred and third and fourth, and a precious, quiet feeling, attended. Lovely moon- light evening. 1 5th, Fifth-day. Fine breeze ;— beautiful view of SulFolk coast ;— in sight of Southwold, and several pretty villages. Captain W. concluded to go ashore, with the mail, in a small boat, that put off to us from Southwold ; we accompanied him and landed safely, between ten and eleven. Set off for Ipswich ; Captain W. bringing the mail. We arrived between five and six, and found the town in the bustle of a contested election ; stayed a few minutes, at the inn, and took leave of our truly kind captain, about whom we all felt interested ; he appears under considerable trial of mind, and very thoughtful ; has lately lost his wife, to whom he was tenderly attached. Called at R. D. Alexander's, M ho received us very kindly. Went two stages further, to Colchester, and lodged at the Three Cups, a comfortable inn, kept by a reli- gious woman ; — bibles in the chambers. \Qth, Sixth-day. Travelled on to London, and reached Plough Court, under feelings, I trust I may say, of humble gratitude to ir 98 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FoX. [1826. our great Preserver. In the pause before dinner, dear C. H. offered, with great feeling, the tribute of praise and thanks- giving. 17th, Seventh-day. Breakfasted together, and were comforted aftenvards, in reading the tenth of Hebrews, and a sweet German hymn ; for our spirits were somewhat affected by the excitement of meeting our friends, and the many recollections of past days, that always accompany our return home. I8th, First-day. Went to meeting, with W. Allen and C. Han- bury. The latter, engaged in a short but lively testimony ; my dear sister in supplication, and I was most easy to offer something on the natui'e and efficacy of faith. Isabella Harris, from Yorkshire, made some addition, and the meeting ended, I trust, under a feeling of good. Dinner at Plough Court. It was a time of precious feeling, and when the cloth was removed, I felt con- strained, once more, to bend the knee and offer the tribute of praise, with a petition for all present : but especially for some who had been fed with the bread of affliction, and had tears to di'ink in great measure, but who had been marvellously sustained through all, and diiring a long course of years, had abundantly tasted of the Lord's goodness, faithfulness and truth. Dear W. A. took a most kind and affectionate leave of us, and his fatherly kindness, every way, affected us much. 19th, Second-day. Cornelius Hanbury most kindly cared for us to the last. Came with us to Ludgate Hill, to take the coach ; where we pax-ted, under a feeling of that precious unity, which binds together those who are seeking to follow the same Saviour ; and in which they are, in one sense, never separated, though out- wardly far distant. Had a safe, but fatiguing, journey to South- ampton. Many and very mingled, are the feelings that attend our return, but we are favoured to feel it a peaceful, quiet habitation. This interesting account of their journey, may be appropriately closed, by the following memorandum, in reference to it, under date of 1841. Very many exercises of faith and patience and close conflicts, we passed through in this journey, but it is one to which we have 1826.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 99 ever recurred, and to which I do still recur, with a grateful sense of the mercies we experienced, and of the opportunities that were afforded us, for entering into sympathy, not only with the little company of Friends who were the more immediate object of our visit, but with christian characters of different denominations, scattered through the cities and towns, we visited, amidst a mass of irreligion and impiety, seeking humbly to follow their Saviour, in the narrow way that leads to the kingdom. Some of these are brought sweetly, at times, to my remembrance, mth desires, that though we may never meet again on earth, we may be found, at the end of the race, amongst the blessed number of the Lord's redeemed and sanctified ones. 2 H ]00 MEMOIRS Ul' MARIA FOX. [1826. CHAPTER V. 1826. Illness of a near relation — House of Refuge — Quarterly Meeting — W. and R. Byrd — Awful catastrophe — Races — Monthly Meeting — Offer of marriage — Letters — Death of her cousin — Quarterly Meeting — Visit to the Isle of Wight — Monthly Meeting — Liberated for religious engagement — Irish society — H. M.'s visits to workhouse — Letters — Bible meeting — Leaves home for neighbourhood of London — Staines — Uxbridge — Brentford — Visit to families of Gracecliurch-street Meeting — Return home — Quartei-ly Meeting — Illness. On their return home from this journey, a new trial awaited them, in the illness and subsequent decease, of a near relative, their cousin, Joseph Hoyland. Having been, about two years previously, an inmate in their family, and possessing a mind richly endowed with intellectual gifts, he was one, in whom they could not but feel a deep and lively interest. His widowed mother, Margaret Hoyland, of Waterford, was a woman of strong natural powers, and in a remarkable degree, qualified for sympathizing with, and succouring, the sick and the afflicted. Sixth Month 20th, Third-day. Rose, under a feeling of thankfulness to our great and bountiful Lord, who was pleased to lead us out, to carry us safely through many dangers, seen and unseen ; through many deep exercises and conflicts of spirit, and to bring us again in peace to ova native land. After breakfast and reading, had a short time of quiet with my precious sister, wherein ability was mercifully afforded, once more, to offer the tribute of praise, and to commit ourselves into the divine keeping, desiring strength to perform the duties of the day, of whatsoever kind they may be ; and to do or suffer the whole M-ill of God. Went, afterwards, to call on our afflicted relatives ; found my 1826.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 101 dear aunt (whom we had not seen for fifteen years) alone. Joseph came down before we left, and prepared as we were, it was veiy affecting to see the alteration in his countenance, since we last met. The complaint appears to have assumed a decided character, and to be making certain, though very gradual, progress. Oh ! for ability to commend this interesting relative to that compas- sionate Saviour, who came not to call the righteous, and whose blessed office it is, to seek and to save that which has been lost ; that through his all-powerful mediation, true repentance may be found, and reconciliation, through faith in his blood, before that awful moment, when the afflicted tabernacle must resign its im- mortal inhabitant. My spirits low this evening ; but in secret, quietly sustained, I trust, in a degree of dependence on that which is unchangeable. 21st, Fourth-day. After breakfast, called at the House of Refuge, and were much pleased to see it in so comfortable a state. The women who were there, when we left home three months ago, appeared much pleased to see us. Went on to our little meeting. In the afternoon. Dr. Lindoe came to see us, and to welcome us home ; left us the draft of the Annual Report of the House of Refuge, to read. Our hearts were greatly affected in the perusal of it. It contains the account of the death of one of the young women, for whom we had been interested, and who was ill when we left home. She was, for some time, much distressed, under the heavy sense of her sinful condition, but was, at length, enabled to look, with an eye of faith, towards our great and blessed Me- diator, and departed, with a comfortable hope of forgiveness and reconciliation, through his merits. I trust we were filled with humble thankfulness, and felt stimulated to press forward in this work, for the benefit of our distressed and degraded fellow- creatures. Seventh-day. Before breakfast, in a short time of re- tirement, was comforted in believing, we are graciously cared for by the great and good Shepherd, and felt a little renewed ability, to commit all to his disposal. Oh ! that He may guide us, in all things, by his counsel, and make us strong to do his Avill ! inth, First-day. Went to meeting ; low, flat and stripped. Much tried, in the early part, with wandering thoughts. Before 102 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1826. the close, a renewed feeling of the divine goodness, was mercifully granted, under which, I ventured on my knees, and supplication was oifered for our dear fellow-believers, under every name, in a distant land ; and for the professors of religion in this highly- favoured country, that we may not be suffered to sink into indif- ference, but that we may be awakened to a consideration of our awful responsibility, for the many advantages we are favoui'ed with. 29th, Fifth-day. In the evening, called on my dear aunt and cousins. Joseph, we thought altered, since we saw him last ; more sunk, but it was pleasant to observe a greater degree of quietude. Oh ! that I may be enabled, properly to feel for this afflicted relative, and seek after ability to pray for him, to the Father of mercies and God of all comfort ; for he seems to be, indeed, fast approaching the confines of another state of being. Seventh Month 1st, Seventh-day. My mind much divested of good, and fearing, lest a state of indifference should wholly seize on me. " Oh ! for a closer walk with God," I may well exclaim, for it is only by keeping close to Him, that we can hope to be kept from the many snares of an unwearied enemy, who is con- stantly preparing temptations, adapted to our various characters and circxmistances. Oh ! that the lamp of divine light may be continually fed with holy oil, by constant watching unto prayer ! Dined with a serious friend, and had some interesting conversa- tion, on the difficulty of maintaining the happy medium, in our intercourse with the world, between a repulsive distance and undue compliance. 2?icZ, First-day. Remained at home, in the evening, having still a weakness in one ancle. I hope not resting from idleness ; for I consider the opportunity of meeting together, on the days set apart for worship, a precious privilege, and one that we should make sacrifices to enjoy ; for though it be often om- lot to sit in low places, in our meetings, still this is not without its use, if we are willing to abide with Christ, and to feel our own nothingness ; and there are seasons, when the Lord is pleased, by the inffuence of his good Spirit, to open streams in the wilderness, and to re- fresh his thirsty, weary children, flith a draught of that river which maketh glad the city of God 1826.1 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 103 5th, Fourth-day. Set out for Alton, to attend the Quarterly Meeting ; got in soon after four. Saw several friends, who wel- comed us home very cordially. Qth, Fifth-day. It was truly pleasant, again, to meet our dear friends. Went to meeting, a season favoured with much instruc- tion. Before it separated, we were strengthened to give a short account of our late journey, and were renewedly comforted, in the remembrance of the divine goodness and condescension. 1th, Sixth-day. Reached home. Many things, this day, had pressed on our minds, as causes of some anxiety. Retired at night, with a little renewal of ability, to commit ourselves to the divine keeping, desiring, I trust, chiefly, the favour of Him whose loving kindness is better than life. May we be willing to follow Him, wheresoever He may be pleased to lead, casting our cares on Him, in simple faith, and then we shall know that the name of the Lord is still a strong tower, and that He is the all-sufficient helper of those who put their trust in Him ; — -a compassionate and tender father, who considers our frame, and knows the various necessities of our several states ; to his all-seeing eye our most secret sorrows are open, and He is the true comforter of his little dependent ones. Oh, then, my soul ! let nothing shake thy quiet confidence, thy humble trust, but let thy language ever be, — Here am I, 0 Lord ! do with me, whatsoever seemeth good in thy sight. ^th. First-day. At meeting, this morning, dear W. Byrd expressed a little, on the great duty of worship, and the necessary preparation for it. His valuable wife was much enlarged in gos- pel laboui-, for all classes present : it was a memorable time. My sister and I took tea at J. Clark's, where we met W. and R. B Several persons, not of our Society, were there, and the conversa- tion turned much on the sufferings of the negroes. Before we left, a little stillness was obtained ; and R. B. addi-essed us, very sweetly, on the subject, recommending us to cherish feelings of sympathy with these depressed and degraded fellow-creatures, and, when ability is afforded, to intercede for them at the footstool of mercy. She added sweet and pertinent counsel to the dear young people present ; encouraging them to give up their hearts to the righteous government of Christ. 104 MEMOIRS OF MAKIA FOX. [1826. 1 0th, Second-day. Went this morning to the House of Re- fuge ; read to the women, and had some serious conversation with C. B., who seems very poorly, and looks likely to be consumptive. She appeared in a feeling state, and said, she felt very thankful for the great mercy of being brought into tliis institution. I hope, there is a good work begun in her, and that through unutterable condescension, this poor young woman is, in some measure, con- vinced of her state, and of the necessity of seeking to Him, with. whom only, redemption is to be found. My spirits to-day, low, but somewhat comforted by this opportunity. Several things tended to depress me, and brought my mind into a state of trial and distress ; but, in the afternoon, was a little cheered, by open- ing on the hundredth hymn of the " Morgenandachten," in Preuss's, " Siona." It was adapted to soothe a troubled spirit, by directing it to the true Comforter, the tender and compassionate Shepherd, who careth for the feeblest of his flock. May I, from day to day, cast all my care on Him, seeking only to be his de- pendent, devoted child, and trust his goodness, faithfulness and truth in all things. 11th, Third-day. This morning, received a letter, with an ac- count of the return of our certificates to the "Morning Meeting," and of the reading of the short statement, sent in by dear A. A. and ourselves ; it appears to have brought a solemnizing and pre- cious covering over the meeting. That this was pei-mitted to attend, is indeed, cause of humble gratitude to Him, who has been pleased to wind up our little labour, under the renewed evidence, that He is the all-sufficient helper of his people ; and whilst we deeply feel, that, "neither is he that planteth anything, neither he that watereth," may we look, in humble faith, to that God, who only giveth the increase. Fourth-day. Not able to accompany my dear sister to our little meeting. Alone, most of the day, but not sad. Led to consider the gracious condescension of our divine Master, how He bears with all the waywardness of his unworthy children. Ouo'ht not this to teach us the greatest tenderness and forbear- ance towards one another ? "By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another." Oh ! that I may, more and more, seek after this seal of discipleship. In 1826.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 10,5 the afternoon, P. Maurice came in, bringing a book from her sister E. ; it contains manuscript accounts of the death-bed ex- pressions of several of their pious friends ; — read one of them, to my comfort. What has life to offer, in its brightest moments, that shall be balanced against one ray of hope, at the hour of death ? — that solemn hour, when all its pleasui-es, its projects, its delusions, shall vanish like a dream, and leave the dis- appointed, troubled spirit, nothing to cling to, but the mercy of God in Christ Jesus. And who shall depend on this being extended at such a moment, to those who, through a course of years, have resisted its sacred visitations, have turned a deaf ear to its holy pleadings ! How dreadful a thing it is, to trifle with the offers of divine grace, to put off, from day to day, the great and necessary work of repentance, "And to the mercies of a moment, leave The vast concerns of an eternal scene." My heart is, this evening, again made sensible, that there is abundant reason to leave all anxiety, and to cast all our care on the Lord, to lead a life of cheerful, thankful dependence on Him who heareth the cry of the young ravens, and regardeth the very sparrows. How astonishing is the practical infidelity of the human heart ! Though we have tasted of the Lord's mercies, day by day, and have seen his providential care extended to us, from our very infancy, yet, on every cross occurrence or discouraging aspect of our affairs, M-e are ready to distrust, or at least to give way to unprofitable anxiety, which is a species of distrust. When shall we fully realize the feeling conveyed in those simple and beautiful words, — " What, to-day, Thou shall provide, Let me, as a child receive ; What, to-morrow may betide. Calmly to thy wisdom leave. 'Tis enough that Thou wilt care. Why should I the burden bear '." \3th, Fifth-day. Bead before breakfast, a part of the seventh psalm in the original. Afterwards, studied my German for an 106 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1826. hour : I am desirous not to neglect this, having found the little I know of it so useful in our late journey. I was confined at home, to-day, by my lameness ; did not improve the opportiinity as I ought to have done, for meditation on divine things. 14:th, Sixth-day. Rose this morning, with a strong sense of my own unprofitableness. Oh ! that I may more and more feel this, and the constant necessity there is, to have my supplies re- newed from the one eternal Source ; for it is only as our hearts are daily operated on, by the Holy Spirit, that we can perform the smallest duties of life, as they ought to be performed : the semblance may be there, but without this vivifying, quickening principle, it is a dead offering. Oh ! for a more earnest seeking to do all under this holy influence, by continual watchfulness unto prayer ! Oh ! for a constantly prevailing sense of being always in the sight of Him, whose eyes run to and fro through- out the whole earth ; and ' ' who knoweth the thoughts of man, that they are vanity !" Felt very desirous to have my daily occupations so arranged, as that every hour should be employed, in the most profitable manner, for myself and others, under that regulating influence which will distinguish between self-activity and self-indulgence. Make me dilio-ent, 0 Lord ! ever diligent, seeing there are only twelve hours in the day wherein we can work, but let it be in thy fear, and under thy guidance. The christian must not look for rest, on this side the grave ; his rest is to be in eternity. Surely, he ought to labour cheerfully through the whole of life's short day, looking to that solemn period, when, however devoted he may have been, he must acknowledge him- self an unprofitable servant. I5th, Seventh-day. In the afternoon, a visit from a person of very agreeable manners, but one whose views of many subjects are very difierent from our own. Felt afraid, after he was gone, lest I had not been sufficiently guarded in conversation, or had not endeavoured, as much as I might, to give it a useful direction : the thought was painful to me through the remainder of the day. IBth, First-day. Awoke with my mind turned to the con- sideration of my own weakness, and of the great necessity there is, to seek continually for the aid of the divine Spirit, that would, if we were, in all things, to follow its holy guidance, gradually 1826.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 107 invest us with the whole armour of light. How dangerous to venture into the world without this sacred mail ! — to rush in- considerately into danger, without humbly seeking to Him, who only can preserve us unhurt, and enable us to maintain our ground in his fear. We are indeed, weak, unstable creatures, but God is faithful, who is able to establish us and keep us from evil. Oh, that I may seek constantly to dwell in Him ! " Innig, traulich, musst du dich Stets an Jesu halten ; Auf ihn schauen statiglich, Und ihn lassen walten : Licht und Leben, Kraft und Gnad', Man allein in Jesu hat I"* 18th, Third-day. Feel myself very unprofitable, and destitute of good, yet, at times, feebly desiring to do or suffer whatever may be the divine will. Oh ! that I may so earnestly and resignedly seek, as to be permitted to discover what that will is ! If once clearly manifested, that is enough for the truly humble soul. He who is all ■wisdom and love, will not require anything that is not really best for us, nor anything that He will not supply strength to meet, if it be sought in reverent, patient submission. Oh, then ! " my soul, wait thou only upon God, for my expectation is from Him." 20th, Fifth-day. Read, before breakfast, a few sections of the " Kleine Kempis ;" on the detachment of the soul from the crea- tures, and the happiness of fixing it entirely on God. 0, blessed and desirable state ! for He alone is the fountain of strength, the centre of stability ; they who look for support in anything without God, will find themselves miserably disappointed. The world may promise much, but can give nothing of that substantial joy, that solid peace, which is to be found only in the union of the soul with its divine Creator and Redeemer. Happy for those who • Keep thy Saviour ever nigh, On Ilim, fix tliy constant eye ; Let Him be tl)y guide, thy stay, Give tliee sti-engtli from day to day ; Light and life and grace are Itnown, In our Saviour Christ alone. 108 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1826. can, at times, feel they have an interest in these blessed words, " My peace I give unto you ; not as the world giveth, give I unto you." 22nd, Seventh-day. Heard of the death of — K — ; lost in the Southampton Water, by the upsetting of a boat, in which he was going to the Isle of Wight. Both he and his wife were acquaintances of ours ; she is a pleasing, amiable young woman, and will, I fear, be overwhelmed by this awfully sudden bereave- ment. It is a very affecting circumstance to many ; and to my own mind, forcibly recalls the time, when, four years ago, I was in great danger from a squall of wind, whilst out in a boat with a friend. I was, at the time, much impressed with this provi- dential deliverance, and desire to have it still in thankful remem- brance. May our compassionate Heavenly Father, who is the bounteous giver and watchful preserver of life, be pleased to bestow grace to use it, in his fear, and to employ the remaining portion, whether it be longer or shorter, in humble submission to his divine disposal ! And Oh ! that this awful instance of the uncertainty of life, may be made useful to some who are liAing in the enjoyment of the world, and I fear, too much forgetting, whilst they walk in the sight of their eyes and in the ways of their heart, that for all these things, God will bring them into judgment. 0 Thou ! who rnakest the clouds thy chariot, and thy pavilion round about Thee, dark waters and thick clouds of the skies, be pleased, we beseech Thee, to awaken them to a sense of their danger, and give them repentance towards Thee, and faith towards thy beloved Son, our Lord Jesus Clmst. Draw them, by the cords of thy love, into that fold, of which He is the gracious and everlasting Shepherd, that so, they may become useful mem- bers of thy militant church on earth, and be finally added, through thy redeeming mercy in Christ Jesus our Lord, to thy church triumphant in heaven. 25th, Third-day. The town in a great stir, making prepara- tions for the races, to-morrow and next day. It is depressing, to a reflecting mind, to see so many persons, who are formed for elevated pursuits, and capable of diffusing around them, so much real benefit and rational enjoyment, wholly absorbed in this an- ticipated amusement and its accompanying dissipations ; for- 1826.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 109 getting that life was not given us, merely to be frittered away in empty pleasures and gay recreations, and that every moment of it is registered in that awful book, which is, one day, to be opened before an assembled world, by the great Judge of quick and dead. When I reflect on these solemn truths, my heart is often filled with a sympathy that I cannot express, for those who have passed their whole lives in that kind of associa- tion, which has only tended to confirm the natm-al inclination to corrupt pleasures, an inclination, which, perhaps, their educa- tion also, has rather been calculated to foster than to correct. How widely difi'erent is the situation of such, from that of many who have been shielded, from their very infancy, from the allure- ments and temptations of the world, and who therefore, must not take any merit to themselves, for being absent from scenes of gaiety, in which they have neither the desire nor the qualification to mingle. There is One, and One only, who fully knows the temp- tations of some, and the advantages of others, and He will judge righteous judgment. Whilst therefore, we properly may mourn over the inconsiderate levity of thousands around us, let us g-uard carefully against the spirit of the self-righteous pharisee, who thanked God, that he was not like other men ; let us rather humble ourselves to the dust, in the consideration of our dead- ness, unfruitfulness, unprofitableness, though we have been planted as in the Lord's heritage, and abundantly watered with the dew of heaven. Surely, to us belongeth confusion of face. Quicken us, 0 Lord ! in thy fear, and cause the fruits of the Spirit to be produced in us, to the praise of thy great and ever adorable name. 29th, Seventh-day. A poor account of our dear J. H. I went over, and was most of the day at the house. Sat a few minutes by the bed-side of our interesting sufferer. I had not seen him for two weeks. It was a moment of inexpressible feeling to me, and I sat by him in silence, but did not feel able to express any- thing to him, as to the solemn prospect. We have indeed, a merciful and faithful High Priest, and into his holy hand, I de- sire to commit this dear relative. ^Oth, First-day. My mind, at meeting, unsettled and greatly tried with wandering thoughts. Oh ! the besetments of this 110 MEMOIRS OF MAKIA FOX. [1826. earthly nature ; how prone are we to be distracted by trifles, and in how many ways does the enemy busy himself, to draw us from our proper centre, and if he can succeed in this, he cares not by what means. When the enemy comes in like a flood, it is only the divine Spirit, that can eflFectually lift up the standard against him. Oh, my soul ! wait thou upon God, and be silent before Him. 31st, Second-day. In the morning, went with my sister and C. E. P. to the Refuge ; had a comfortable reading with the poor women, and after it, my dear H. M. supplicated on their behalf; they discovered considerable sensibility, and it was a solemn, impressive time. Eighth Month \st, Third-day. Another month passed away, and where am I ? Still, through unmerited mercy, continued in life, and in the possession of its many blessings. Oh ! that I may be enabled more diligently to improve it, more freely to devote it to the great Giver, who, only, has a right to the disposal of his frail creatures. Make me, 0 Lord ! what Thou wilt ; make me willing to do or to suffer anything Thou shalt be pleased to appoint, but give me grace, I beseech Thee, to distinguish thy holy and gentle voice from that of the stranger. Suffer me never to follow the dictates of my own heart, in opposition to thy will, or to mistake the fervour of imagination, for the impulse of thy blessed Spirit ; but, Oh ! grant, that I may be one of those sheep who know thy voice, and follow it, and to whom Thou wilt give, in thy adorable mercy, eternal life, through Jesus Christ our Lord. A. S. came, in the evening, to take leave, and spent an hour, very pleasantly to us. He possesses a richly gifted and highly cultivated mind ; greatly do we desire, the more decided support and comfort of religious experience, may be added to his many in- tellectual acquirements, and that his fine talents and very amiable qualities may be consecrated to the service of the dear Redeemer. 2nd, Fourth-day. My mind stripped and poor, for some time past, and depressed with a sense of my abounding unprofitable- ness and many infirmities : if this is but a means of driving me more closely, to the one Source of strength, it will be well. Oh ! that I may learn, more and more, to sit as Mary did, at the feet of Jesus ; for there, the humble, confiding soul is safe from the assaults of the enemy, and whether the Lord is pleased to be 1826.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. Ill silent, or to po\ir in secret, the gracious words of heavenly in- struction, she knows that his presence shelters her, and that his banner over her, is love. 4iA, Sixth-day. Set out early with several other friends, to attend our Monthly ]\Ieeting at Fordingbridge ; we had a plea- sant ride through the Forest. The meeting, though small, was, I thought, favoured with a degTee of precious quiet, under the sense of which, it seemed right to endeavour to encourage those present, to a diligent seeking after the teaching of the Holy Spirit ; that we might, through its powerful operation on the soul, be purified from the corruptions of our fallen nature, built up in the most holy faith, and finally prepared, through the mercy of the Lord, in Christ our Saviour, for an eternal inheritance amongst them which are sanctified. 5th, Seventh-day. Too late in bed this morning, and so de- prived myself of the hour, I like to get before breakfast, for reading or study. Day past in usual occupations, but I fear, in too much languor and listlessness of mind, as to the one im- portant object of pursuit. What energy do we apply to our favourite employments ! and yet, alas ! how dull and disinclined we often feel, for the most necessary and most valuable of all. " Quicken me, 0 Lord ! according unto thy word." Qth, First-day. Woke in a peaceful, tranquil state of mind, refreshed with rest and with the renewed sense of the divine goodness, and of those many mercies which are indeed new every morning. Ith, Second-day. Read a part of the eighteenth psalm in the original, before breakfast. In the afternoon, sat with my dear aunt, who looks very much worn with anxiety and watching. She is a most devoted nurse, and her presence at this solemn period, must be a peculiar comfort to our dear invalid, whose suffer- ings are now very great. The thread of life is indeed wonderfully spun out, we cannot doubt, for a merciful purpose ; and the ex- pressions that occasionally fall from him, indicate a great change in his views, on many subjects. Sth, Third-day. Called on M. M.'s family. In conversation on the subject of books, I suffered a sentiment to escape me with- out sufficient consideration, and felt regret afterwards, accompanied 112 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1826. by a desii'e to be more watcbful in futm-e ; but alas ! wbat are good desires, without a steady, single dependence on the only effectual helper. We cannot keep ourselves, but may be kept by the one great Shepherd, if vre humbly and reverently wait on Him, from hour to houi". Well might David say, " Hold up my goings in thy paths, that my footsteps slip not." The following extract from her sister's diary, allud- ing to an event, fraught with important consequences to the suhject of this Memoir, is here inserted, as an appropriate introduction to her own remarks upon it. ''Eighth Month lOth, 1826. S. F. arrived soon after breakfast, on an errand deeply interesting to our feelings, that of proposing a union with my beloved sister. My sympathies with my precious M. are in a lively manner awakened, and sincerely do I desire to unite with her, in seeking the counsel and guid- ance of that wisdom which is profitable to direct, and which alone can lead in safe paths." 11 ^/;, Sixth-day. Awoke this morning, ^vith my feehngs a good deal tried, but, I trust, secretly sustained, in a degree of quiet dependence on that gracious Providence, who cares even for the sparrows. If my eye be singly directed to Him, (which is the desire of my heart,) may I not hope. He will be pleased to favour me with his counsel and direction, in an affair of so much importance, involving not only my own comfoi-t and best welfare, but in a great degree, that of my. precious sister also, whose happiness, it is my earnest wish to consult and to contribute to, to the utmost of my power. We have been tenderly united from infancy in sisterly affection, and this union has been heightened by simi- larity of feeling, on the one gTeat subject of first importance, and by the many occasions of deep soitow thi-ough wliich we have passed together. ISth, First-day. At meeting, both morning and evening, but in much divestment of good and want of life. In the evening, a 1826.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. J13 little comforted in the renewed desire, to discover and perform the divine will, and in remembering the words applied to the Messiah, " Then said I, Lo, I come, in the volume of the book it is written of me, I delight to do thy will, 0 my God !" It was as a little ray of light on a prospect of some religious service, which has for a considerable time impressed my mind, of a nature so serious and formidable, that I have not yet ventured to mention it even to my beloved sister. Give me, 0 Lord ! I humbly pray Thee, to discern the right time as well as the right line of moving, and strengthen me to follow Thee faithfully, through every death of self, that may be necessary in preparation, or may attend the accomplishment of what appears to be required ; that every sacrifice may be seasoned with the salt of thy eternal covenant of life and light, and may be acceptable to Thee, through Jesus Chi'ist our Lord. IMh, Second-day. Called on our relatives. My aunt was with her sufiering charge, whose detention in this state is remark- able. If there be yet sometliing to be done for himself or others. Oh ! that he may be strengthened fully to give up, and to leave his testimony to that divine power, which will convince of sin, and grant the humble, penitent soul, a good hope through the all- availing mediation of the dear Redeemer. \5th, Third-day. Before breakfast, my German lesson as usual. In the course of it, met with some striking; and encourao;ino; re- marks, on the duty of unquestioning obedience to the divine will, when once clearly manifested. My mind has been, through tliis day, mercifully kept in a degree of precious quiet, though I rose from a very disturbed night, somewhat troubled and distressed with the besetments of the enemy, but was favoured to feel re- newed confidence in that Arm which can control his power, and deliver those who simply depend upon it, from all his wiles ; and now, in the evening, I desire humbly and reverently to commit myself to the divine keeping, to the watchful care of the unslum- bering Shepherd. To E. R. Southampton, Eighth Month 17 th, 1826. My dear E. R., As my sister's pen has been employed to our dear M.. it is not I 114 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1826. necessary for me to add ; but my heart salutes thee in tender love, and therefore, I am inclined to tell thee so in a few words. . . . . The morning has been devoted to some interesting occu- pations regarding our afflicted relatives, — committee meeting, &c. ; so thou seest, we continue to fill up our time in one way or another. It is, however, much easier to tise up this invaluable gift, than to use it in the best manner, and in the way most likely to be productive of our own ultimate advantage, in the one important object. That this may be our steady aim, and be ever kept in view, in our exertions for others, is my present desire. I know not why I have written this, but, I believe, merely because in writing to thee, I am accustomed to let the pen run into the thoughts that are uppermost, and ha\Ting somewhat tired myself this morning, felt a little disposed to moralize on the possibility of being busy, without being well employed. Do not think, how- ever, that I wish to become quite indolent, for indeed, my dear, I am deeply convinced, that those who are desirous of being made useful in the course of this short, earthly pilgiimage, to their fellow-creatures, must not think of sitting down at ease, but be willing to do the little daily duties, which, in many ways, present themselves, even in the most retired allotment ; and, thankful we ought to be, if we may be made instrumental, in the least degree, to relieve the temporal or the more important necessities of the afflicted and the degraded. Our little institution, the Refuge, continues to engage our attention, and to present its varieties of depression and encouragement ; but, thi'ough all, we seem to have abundant cause to press fonvard, without relaxing the efforts that can be made, to pluck a few from the road of de- struction and death ; desiring to leave the event with Him, who will not quench the smoking flax, but who is graciously disposed to bless the feeble endeavours of his unworthy children Believe me very affectionately, M. M. Eighth Month 19th, Seventh-day. My mind a good deal tried by a circumstance that appears in itself trivial, but which, I think, might have been much more satisfactory, if I had been properly watchful, to keep the best application of time and money 1826.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. in \'iew. I feel very desirous of being more careful, not to spend, on my own gratification, though it may appear to be something not very unsuitable, that which might be applied to the relief of my distressed fellow-creatures, or to the promotion of the great cause of religion in the earth. Those who have little, had need be especially careful, that they do not rob themselves of the com- fort of doing for others, by any foolish or unnecessary expenditure on themselves. Oh ! that I may more and more incline my ear to discipline, and to the holy restraint of best wisdom ! I have heard several thino-s that involve me in considerable thouo-htful- ness, regarding the prospect of religious service, that has of late pressed on my mind. Oh ! that I may commit myself, in simple faith, to the divine guidance and disposal, seeking only to know the ordering of Him who can make a way where we see no way, and who is the all in all, of his dependent, confiding ones : He only knows the secret fears and anxieties of our souls, and He only can pour in the oil and wine of heavenly consolation, and alFord such supplies of strength, in the needful time, as shall enable us to go forth at his bidding, and, in the end, humbly to acknow- ledge, " This is our victory, even our faith." 21st, Second-day. Captain Bromley called, with an intro- duction from W. Allen, to the friends of the British and Foreign School Society. He is desirous to have a meeting here, to re- vive the languid cause. It is very discouraging to see so much supineness as prevails here, on subjects of public interest : the great bulk of the population are more disposed to the pursuit of pleasure, and the few who are concerned for the support of our public institutions, have a greater pressure on them than they know how to meet, without more general co-operation. To E. T. Southampton, 8th Month 2lst, 182G. My dkar E. What thou sayest, of being in the allotment ap- pointed us by Infinite Wisdom, is indeed very just. I am more and more convinced, that to the well regulated mind, it is every- thing, and involves as much happiness as is good for us. It is I 2 116 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1826. the secret consciousness of this, that enables the humble christian to enjoy whatever he possesses, whether it be much or little, and without it, though there may be all the external indications, the soul of comfort is wanting. Our compassionate Heavenly Father knows precisely what is most adapted to our state, — what is most likely to advance that great work in us, which is the all-im- portant business of life, and as we are seeking to be conformed to his will, to do or to suffer whatever He may be pleased to appoint, He will not only give us daily bread, — such a measvire of strength as is adequate to our constant necessity, but, in his abundant mercy, will, at times, give us to drink of those streams of con- solation, which flow from his presence. " He tumeth the wilder- ness into a standing water, and dry ground into water-springs, and there He maketh the hungry to dwell, that they may prepare a city for habitation, and sow the fields, and plant vineyards, which may yield fruits of increase." Well, then, my beloved E., let us trust in the mercy and goodness of the universal Shepherd, who will not forsake any of the little ones who depend on Him in simple faith, but will be their guide, their counsellor and their defender, even imto death. "We have had the great pleasure of a visit from our truly kind companion and helper, C. H. It was very pleasant to see him, and to hear of some of those in a distant land, for whom we felt much interested, and to whom we were nearly united. We have indeed, my dear, as thou observest, great cause for thankfulness, in looking back to this journey, in which we have abundant reason to commemorate the merciful kindness of the Lord, who was pleased to make way where we could see no way, and through many trials and conflicts, to renew, from time to time, our de- pendence and faith in his all-sufiicient help ; enabling us to acknowledge, amidst our abounding weakness and unprofitable- ness, that He is all in all, to those who simply put their trust in Him Thy cordially attached, Maria Middleton. Eighth Month 22nd, Third-day. Rose, under much de- pression of mind, and perplexed with many cogitations, beyond 1826.] MEMOIRS OF MAKIA FOX. 117 what I can describe. Oh ! that I may be enabled to wait, in silent submission, for that inward teacher, which speaks neither in the whirlwind, nor the &e, but in a still, small voice, gently directing the humbled soul, with the clear, but simple monition, " This is the way, walk ye in it." May the Lord give me grace, to understand and obey ! 23rd, Fourth-day. This morning, a note from my cousin, S. H., informed us they had passed a most distressing night, and that it appeared as if the bitterness of death would yet be prolonged. We hastened to them, and were constantly, one of us, by the dear suiferer until the scene closed. The conflict was awfully affecting, but a preciously sustaining and tranquillis- ing feeling was permitted to cover us, and I ventured to kneel at the foot of the bed, and once more, implore, in the name of our adorable and compassionate Redeemer, that the conflict might be mercifully shortened, and the immortal spirit received into that city, none of whose inhabitants can say, " I am sick," but where those who "came out of great tribulaticm, and have washed their robes, and made them white in the blood of the Lamb," eternally surround the throne, with songs of praise. The long-lingering spark dropt gently and quietly out, precisely at three o'clock. After nature had got a little relief from tears, we were enabled silently, to indulge the feeling of humble gratitude, in the con- soling belief, that the liberated spirit was received into a blessed rest, through the mercy of our compassionate Saviour, M'ho was, I cannot doubt, graciously pleased to begin, carry forward, and finally, to complete the great work of preparation ; and for this, may we be enabled reverently to bless his holy name ! 27th, First-day. After an uneasy, disturbed night, my mind most deeply affected, and my feeling of bodily weakness not to be described. About eight, the mournful band began to move. At the side of the grave, a very solemn stillness was permitted ; it lasted a considerable time, when I ventured, in fear, to kneel, in thanksgiving to the great and gi-acious Disposer of events, who doeth all things well, and, in the midst of chastise- ment, is pleased to remember mercy ; supplication for all present was also offered. My dear sister, afterwards expressed, in a sweet manner, her concern for the company assembled. Many, 118 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1826. not of our Society, were present, and the solemnity and stillness that prevailed, were truly consoling and sustaining. After the remains were lowered into the narrow house appointed for all living, the same precious covering continued. When breakfast was over, the ninety-fifth psalm was read, which was indeed peculiarly suitable to our feelings on this occasion. A solemn pause suc- ceeded, and my dear aunt, on bended knees, poured forth a tribute of thanksgiving and praise. Ninth Month \st, Sixth-day. After breakfast, this morning, my dear aunt addressed us in a very affectionate and instructive, parting salutation. When she had concluded, I ventured to offer a short petition for our mutual preservation. The recollection of all we have lately passed through, the chasm made in our circle by the departui'e of relatives, whose presence, though under cir- cumstances of sorrow, has been a comfort to us, together with various important considerations pressing on my mind, seem almost too much for my frame ; but I desire to cast my burdens, of every kind, on One who is able to sustain through all. I feel as if 1 had been spending some time on the confines of eternity, and have been brought to take such a near and strong view of the solemnities of death, and the vanities of life, that the return to ordinary pursuits and duties, is attended with a very peculiar feeling, and the prospect of what I may yet have to pass through, is awful and almost overwhelming : but why should I take thought for the morrow, seeing we know not what a day may bring forth, nor how soon it may be appointed to us also, to leave the toils and trials of mortality. Oh ! for an abiding in Him who is the conqueror of death, who hath deprived the grave of its victory, that so there may be a joyful entrance into that land, where there is no more sorrow, no more temptation. Zrd, First-day. Went to meeting, and were favoured with a degree of solemn feeling, under the influence of which, I felt most easy to endeavour to impress on the minds of my young friends, the importance of being prepared for that great and awful event, which has lately been so strikingly presented to our view, making some allusion to the scene we have witnessed. There seemed a degTee of sensibility, in some present. Oh ! that it may not pass away, like the early dew. 1826. J MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 119 dth, Seventh-day. Much occupied, this morning, in calling on the free subscribers of my Bible district, to inform them of the half-yearly meeting of the Association. They pay their subscrip- tions very willingly ; but the general spirit of the place is so much inclined to the gaieties of life, that I fear, many of them regard a meeting of this kind, as an insipid thing. 10^/;, First-day. Felt the appointment of one day in seven, for rest and the solemn purpose of worship, a great privilege, after a week that had been filled with a variety of occupations, that seem to have somewhat run down and wearied body and mind. Dined at J. Evans's. After the reading of a chapter in the after- noon, felt my mind drawn to address their young people, and to encourage the parents to renew their trust and confidence in God. In the evening meeting, a few words were expressed on the sup- port enjoyed by the true christian, in the midst of trial and vicissitude ; and on the necessity for all to build on the one im- mutable foundation, Christ Jesus, the Rock of ages. Fifth-day. Our Quarterly Meeting at Shaftesbury ; not large, and in the early part of it, some minds were, I believe, depressed with the feeling of abounding discouragements ; but, after some time, R. Byrd offered a solemn supplication for divine help, and R. Fowler followed, in a very instructive and en- couraging manner, strongly enforcing the necessity of individual faithfulness. Some addition was made to her communication, on the power of the divine Arm to work wonderfully for his faithful people, as He did for Israel of old. 16^^, Seventh-day. In the afternoon, some of our friends called on us ; my mind not in a state for social enjoyment, being greatly tried, and thoughtful about many things. Felt, in the evening, however, that there is a refuge in the quiet habitation, and that those who retreat into it, in deep humility of soul, shall know, that He who is the keeper of Israel, neither slumbers nor sleeps. Oh ! that this may be my blessed experience ! that I may dwell in the low valley, seeking only to sit at the feet of the blessed Master, to hear his gracious words. 18i/<, Second-day. Set off this morning in the steam-boat, and came to Ryde, where we entered, almost immediately, into lodgings. 120 MEMOIRS or MARIA FOX. [1826. 19th, Third-day. Met with some very instructive and con- solatory remarks, in A. Sievekin's " Betraclitungen," which prove her to possess a mind deeply imbued with vital piety. Spent a great part of this beautiful morning on the pier, looking on the fine expanse of tranquil sea, and watching the numerous arrivals and departures by the different steam-boats. Mind, on the whole, very calm, and comforted frequently, during the day, by the re- currence of the third psalm, which arrested my thoughts last First-day evening, when reflecting on some circumstances that seem likely to produce peculiar difficulties and trials. Oh ! how the great enemy of the church still works in mystery, and assumes the most specious and plausible appearances, if he may hope thereby to interrupt her concord, or break her unity : he well knows, her strength is in the unity of the members, with one another and with the holy Head. The true " Jerusalem is builded as a city that is compact together, whither the tribes go up, the tribes of the Lord, unto the testimony of Israel." Be pleased, 0 Lord ! mercifully to regard the low estate of thy people ; guard thy feeble flock in the wilderness, from the approaches of every spirit that would introduce itself in sheep's clothing, to do the work of the destroyer. '2,1st, Fifth-day. In the afternoon, a beautiful inland ramble. The walks about Ryde are very inviting, rural and picturesque ; whilst the occasional peeps, through the rich foliage, at the sea, give a majestic finish to the varied landscape scenery. In the evening, my dear sister and I sat quietly together ; indeed, we greatly enjoy the temporary retirement and freedom from various claims, that daily draw on om attention at Southampton, leaving us, at times, less settlement than is desu'able ; but we must be willing to do the duties of life, as they arise, without seeking too much our own gratifications, though they may be, in appearance, of a profitable kind ; that is best for us, that is in the ordering of divine Providence. However, when we are permitted a little relaxation, it is right to enjoy it with thankfulness, endeavouiing to cherish, at the same time, a willingness to return to work, in any way the great Master may be pleased to appoint ; — this is not tlie place of our rest. 22nd, Sixth-day. A sweet walk, before breakfast, towards the 1826.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 121 wood which skirts the sea, to the right ; birds singing harmo- niously, and all nature beautiful. Read, in the evening, Baron Haller's Letters to his Daughter ; a work of great value, com- prising, in small compass, a view of the leading truths of the christian religion. 2ith, First-day. Rose this morning in low spirits, but calm. The weather very wet, and we thought it quite unsuitable to pursue our project, of going over to the little meeting at Portsea ; but, whilst we were at breakfast, the clouds dispersed, and the rain ceased ; we therefore walked to the pier, and stepped into the steam-boat ; had a pleasant passage of an hour, and sat down with the little company. The voice of supplication was offered on their behalf, and we were, on the whole, comforted in being with them. 27th, Fourth-day. This morning, accompanied by S. F., we went to Shanklin ; a sweet, sequestered spot, on the south coast of the island, where my sister and I spent a few days, some years ago. It was vei7 interesting to me, again to ramble on the fine sands, under the bold, overhanging cliff, and gaze on the majestic deep, spread in wide expanse before us. In the evening, were favoured with a precious feeling of peaceful quiet, wherein we were, in some degree, enabled to thank God, and to feel a little renewed confidence in the all-sufficiency of his help. May we be kept in a state of humble dependence on his fatherly care and gTiidance, not anxiously caring for the morrow, but committing our souls to a faithful Creator, who is able to keep what we have committed unto Plim, against that great and solemn day, which must speedily overtake us all. Oh ! that whenever it shall ap- proach, we may be able to say, with the holy psalmist, " My flesh and my heart faileth, but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever." 28i/i, Fifth-day. Tranquil day, though low. The prospect of the approaching Monthly Meeting, at which we must lay before our friends, the view of religious service that has of late engaged our minds, looks formidable, and fills us with some anxious feelings. 20th, Sixth-day. Left Ryde, and arrived safely at Southampton this evening. The day was very fine, and the passage pleasant. 122 MEMOIRS OF MAEIA FOX. [1826. Tenth Month \st, First-day. Went to meeting this morning, and sat in a painfully unprofitable state of mind, the greater part of the time, but was at length sensible of an influence that seemed to spread over us. My dear sister knelt and poui-ed forth a solemn prayer, for increased dedication of heart and sub- mission to the divine will, and I thought the feeling; that attended it, was like the pouring forth of precious ointment. 'ind, Second-day. Rose this morning, in a tranquil state of mind, which has continued pretty much through the day, though much divested of the sensible perception of divine good. I consider it cause for humble gratitude, that in recurring to the visit lately paid us by S. F., the predominant feeling is, that of quiet reference to the best disposal, — a desire to leave all undue anxiety, and to cast my care on Him who careth for the least of his little ones, and who will not permit them gTeatly to err, whilst they are sincerely endeavouring, to place their dependence singly upon Him. 3?'(Z, Third-day. R. L. came, to have some conversation re- specting the House of Refuge. My sister and I went there together, settled the house accounts and read to the inmates. M. M. discovered great feeling ; we are encouraged and comforted in the state of this young woman. The humility, steadiness and teachableness of her deportment, afibrd a pleasing hope, that there is a sincere work of penitence, and that, through the influence of divine grace, her heart has become, in degree, changed. In the afternoon, was our little reading meeting. Evening, quietly together. Hh, Fourth-day. May it be the daily prayer of my heart, to be clothed with the spirit of streng-th and love, that I may be willing to follow cheerfully the guidance of my divine Sa\aour, and may indeed become one of his faithful children. In the afternoon, had a pleasant, friendly call from James Crabb, who continues his unwearied course of benevolence, for the help of his distressed fellow-creatures ; and is, I fully believe, an instrument of much good here. 5th, Fifth-day. Received some interesting letters from distant friends, fraught with various intelligence, calculated to awaken painful as well as pleasant feelings ; showing, in the experience 1826.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 123 of some of our relatives, that the cup of life is indeed a mixed draught, and that those things on which we have built the fairest hopes, often prove sources of agonizing sorrow. Oh ! that all who are constrained to acknowledge this, might be driven to the one sure foundation, the immovable Rock. 6th, Sixth-day. Set off before seven, for our Monthly Meeting at Fordingbridge. The morning very fine, and our minds merci- fully preserved in a quiet frame. After some time of silence and deep inward poverty, the language of supplication was raised in my heart, to the Fountain of strength and sufficiency ; and some ability was afforded, out of the depths, to look up unto Him, who is a refuge for his people, a refuge in times of trouble, and vocally to implore, that He would be pleased to send a little help from his sanctuary, and to strengthen us out of Zion ; to increase our faith and our love, and make us willing to follow Him whithersoever He may lead ; that He would strengthen us for every conflict, and give us Tiltimately to acknowledge, in deep humiliation of soul, that, whilst we are nothing, He remains to be all in all, to those who put their trust in Him. At the con- clusion of the meeting for worship, my dear sister and myself were enabled to cast before our friends, in a few words, the prospect we have had for some time past, of visiting the families of Friends in Gracechurch Street Meeting, and in the Monthly Meeting of Longford. After solid deliberation, several friends expressed their concurrence, and a certificate was prepared and signed. 7th, Seventh-day. Felt this morning, low in mind, but a degi'ee of quiet confidence, in the continued goodness of our un- failing Helper. I was comforted on first waking, in the remem- brance, that our sufficiency is of God, so long as we continue humble, watchful and obedient ; that He does not send any of his servants on a warfare at their own charges, but as they re- nounce every dependence, except on his holy arm of power. He will be the shield of their salvation, and will ultimately make them, by the power of living faith, more than conquerors, through Him who hath loved them. loth. Third-day. The morning fully occupied at home. In the afternoon, many claims from without, pressed on our attention, 124 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FoX. [1826. and seemed almost more than could be comfortably got through. Felt weary, and almost ready to wish we were not engaged in some of the institutions, that require more help than is in our power to give. However, I desire to be willing to do the little we can. Oh ! that there may be a constant endeavour, to keep close to that which only can preserve from unprofitable activity on the one hand, and listless indolence on the other. A person called on us, who is endeavouring to interest the inhabitants of this place, on account of the Irish Society, an institution fonned for the express purpose of circulating the Scriptures amongst the peasantry, in their vernacular tongue ; it appears to be a measure, fraught with important consequences for that unhappy country. 12th, Fifth-day. At a meeting for the Irish Society ; it was attended by several zealous friends of the cause. One from Ire- land spoke with great energy and effect, on behalf of his depressed and ignorant fellow-countrymen. It was, on the whole, an interesting meeting. I'oth, Sixth-day. In the evening, suffered myself to speak of the failings of an absent friend too freely, which gave me consider- able uneasiness on my pillow. \4;th, Seventh-day. In the forenoon, we went to Netley Abbey. The morning very pleasant, and the rich woods just beginning to assume their fine autumnal tints. We had a visit, in the after- noon, from Dr. and E. Lindoe, bringing with them a young woman, who appeared desirous of admission to the House of Refuge. It was most affecting to see her, and hear her tale of wretchedness. She appears under present conviction, from witnessing the awful state of one of her associates, whom she represents as dying in the parish poor-house, under the most fearful agonies of mind. The heart turns, ^nth sickening horror, from the sight of such complete degradation ; and feels, that in its natui'al and uncon- verted state, it is, indeed, not only " deceitful above all things," but " desperately wicked." Oh ! for a capacity to breathe the secret prayer to Him, who only can heal, purify, and pardon, through the blood of the covenant ! \r)th, First-day. In the afternoon meeting, I ventured to express a few words to those, who might be constrained to put 1826.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 125 on the garment of mourning, and to go sorrowfully on their way, under a depressing sense of desolation without, and poverty \nthin ; desiring, they might be enabled to trust in the Lord, and be willing to take their share of whatever labour might be required of them, for the repairing of the breaches. 16^^, Second-day. Soon after breakfast, a note from R.. L., to request my sister's company, in a visit to the poor girl in the workhouse. H. went accordingly, and they brought me, at their return, a heart-rending recital of the scene they had wit- nessed. The poor young creature, who, they say, has a fine, in- teresting appearance, seems to have entirely lost her reason, under her bodily illness, and the mental agony, caused by strong convictions of her awfully dangerous state. Well might the apostle say, " The sting of death is sin for what can equal the horrors of a stricken conscience ! The thought of this poor girl's state is almost overwhelming ; but we must remember, there is One, who feels infinitely more for poor, miserable sinners, than we can do, and who has all power in heaven and on earth, abounding in mercy, unlimited in love. May He be pleased to speak the word of reconciliation to this poor, distracted soul, and yet pluck it, in the riches of his grace, as a brand from the bm-ning ! \1th, Third-day. M. Lamley called on us, and went with us to the House of Refuge, where we read to the inmates, as usual, and afterwards, the voice of supplication was offered, on behalf of these poor wanderers ; there seemed a degree of feeling prevalent in the minds of some of them. 19iA, Fifth-day. My sister went again this morning, to visit the poor young woman in the workhouse ; having felt much for her, since seeing her, on the 16th : R. L. kindly accompanied her. They went with but little expectation of being admitted to her ward, having heard, yesterday, that her insanity was become more decided and violent ; but, on arriving at the place, they were informed she was now more quiet and passive. My dear sister, after sitting a few minutes by her, was strengthened to offer prayer for her. The poor creature was perfectly calm during the time, and at the close of this solemn act, broke forth into the most touching expressions of thankfulness, and, with earnestness, de- clared her desire to lead a new life. She appeared quite capable 126 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1826. of comprehending the interest that was felt for her ; as well as sensible of her o^vn guilt and misery. 20th, Sixth-day. Not well, and somewhat depressed in spiiits, by the feeling of incapacity to accomplish what I thought neces- sary to be done ; but found a little comfort, in endeavoui'ing to retreat into the quiet habitation. Accompanied our friend E. L. in a ride ; the morning fine, and the country beautiful. In the course of our drive, we called at High- Field, and were introduced to Colonel Concily and his wife : they are Neapohtans, who have been driven to seek refuge in this country. The colonel having distinguished himself in the Neapolitan revolution, his estates are confiscated, and they obliged to live in exile. We were interested with them, and they appeared pleased to see some Friends, saying, the first person from whom they received kindness in this country, was of our Society. We spent the remainder of the day with Dr. and E. L. agreeably, and I hope, profitably ; however, if we did not profit by the instructive reading and con- versation, it must be our own fault. To S. F. Southampton, 21st of Tenth Month, 1826. My dear Friend, It does not seem right, wholly to withdraw from these little social duties ; though, under the pressure of what is before us, it would often be more congenial to our feelings, to retire into seclusion ; indeed, the various important subjects now demanding our attention, seem, at times, almost too much for the mind ; yet, we desire to cast our care upon One, who, we have abundant cause humbly to believe, careth for us, and mercifully sustains our minds in a degree of inward quiet ; so that, although the future wears, to my view, a pensive aspect, very different from the vivid colouring it assumes in our earliest days, before the hand of sorrow has cast its shading into the picture of life ; still, a calm, confiding feeling, at times, reassures my trembling spirit, in the conviction, that under every trial and every vicissitude, there is, for the humble, depending soul, a certain refuge ; and that as much of real enjoyment will be permitted, as is seen by Infinite 1826.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 127 Wisdom, to be consistent with its own all-merciful designs ; and for this, my soul bows, at seasons, in reverent thankfulness, before that gracious Being, who condescends to lead about and instruct his unworthy children, and can feelingly say, — Choose Thou our inheritance for us. Oh ! that it may be of Him and in Him, and then it will be well. Thou wilt be sure, the work immediately before us does not decrease in awfulness, as it approaches ; but it is a comfort to know, that it is in our weakness, the great Master is pleased to help, with his strength ; therefore, we humbly trust He will not forsake, in the needful time M. M. To S. F. Southampton, Tenth Month 27th, 1826. My dear Friend, We attended our Bible Meeting yesterday, which was, on many accounts, a more than usually interesting occasion. When the committee met on Third-day, they had the mortification to find, that A. Brandram declined coming, principally owing, I believe, to the depression and discouragement of the ofiicers of the parent institution, in its present great and peculiar difficulties. Dr. Wilson and a dissenting minister were deputed to go up to London for him. They set out immediately, and brought him down, — reluctantly, as he penitently confessed on the platform. The friends of the cause rallied nobly and manfully round him ; for the place was never, I think, so crowded with speakers and sup- porters ; the audience also numerous and very respectable. The feeling that prevailed, was deeply instructive and animating. A. B., who looked very poorly and harassed when he mounted the platform, descended from it, refreshed and comforted at heart, by the sincere and cordial testimonies, yet judiciously expressed, of unaltered attachment to the great cause of the Society. T. M. concluded an excellent speech, l)y saying, " So long as she (the Bible Society) goes forth, with the bible simply in her hand, and obedience to its precepts in her heart, the Lord of hosts is with her, the God of Jacob is her refuge." J. B. spoke with all his native point and energy ; he was deeply argumentative, forcible 128 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1826. and eloquent, without ostentation, or attempt at superfluous ornament. Some gentlemen declared their intention of doubling their subscriptions, and I believe, a number did so. I must just tell thee of our visit at M. Maurice's, on Second-day. Though we felt in no visiting spirits, we found, unexpectedly, a great treat, in the interesting company of Eustace Carey, a Baptist missionary from Serampore, nephew of the great oriental professor. Dr. Carey. The company was rather large, consisting of ^erious characters of various denominations, and all were greatly interested in the in- foiTuation of the state of religion, &c., in India. R. Lindoe was there, and took part in the conversation, eliciting many valuable re- marks from E. C, who is come over to recruit his exhausted con- stitution, after ten years' residence in that burning climate. He was the more interesting to us, on account of his being a native of Northamptonshire, and from our knowing some of his con- nexions M. M. 28th, Seventh-day. After breakfast, read the sixty-ninth psalm, and a quiet feeling was permitted to overspread us, which I thought was cause of thankfulness. When all was ready, and we had a few minutes of waiting, for the ari'ival of the coach, the same precious influence seemed to attend, and the voice of sup- plication was raised to the great and good Shepherd, for the blessing of preservation. We had a pleasant journey, with agree- able company, and reached Staines in the afternoon. 29th, First-day. At meeting this morning. After a con- siderable time of silence, dear C. H. offered up a lively supplica- tion, which seemed to help me to express something that had previously presented, respecting the strength and unity of the true christian church, and the necessity, if yre would become members of it, of being willing to come in at the right door, Christ, " the way, and the truth, and the life," of taking up the daily cross, and following Him in the regeneration. We then came to Ux- bridge, and were at their afternoon meeting, in which our dear friends were encouraged to increased faithfulness and dedication. A few friends stayed after meeting, to make arrangements for our visiting the families here, and it was concluded for us to take two 1826.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 129 sittings this evening, and I think we may humbly acknowledge the extension of that goodness which is ancient and new, in the help renewedly afforded by Him who is the only fountain of help, and who will not forsake his weak, dependent children, in the time of need. Eleventh M onth Srcl, Sixth-day. Quiet, but low, this morning. In the evening, paid the twenty-fifth and last visit to the families in Uxbridge meeting. Though our labour closed under a feelino; of deep poverty and emptiness, still there seemed renewed cause to acknowledge the unfailing goodness of our gracious Master, who is pleased to help his feeble servants in the hour of need, giving them to testify, from time to time, of his mercy, his faith- fulness and his truth. And now, in the prospect of going through a similar service, in a larger meeting, may we be enabled to cast our care on the Lord alone, and be willing to endure every baptism and suiFer every death, that may be necessary to prepare the poor, imperfect vessel, to receive and communicate that which may be designed for the good of others. 4i/i, Seventh-day. Spent this day, resting with our truly kind friends at Colham Mill ; not well, and rather low in spirits, yet endeavouring to trust in that arm of power which is sufficient. 5th, First-day. Our friends, T. and E. S., brought us to Brentford meeting this morning. After some time of silence, my sister was engaged in supplication, which seemed to strengthen me to rise, with a passage of scripture that had before arrested my attention ; and it was enlarged on, I trust, in a measure of the renewings of that influence, which only can qualify, rightly to minister to the states of the people. 6th, Second-day. Called at the school. On going into the room, where the children were at their studies, we felt so in- terested for them, that it seemed scarcely right to go away, with- out requesting an opportunity with them. Their kind governess readily made way for it, and we had a comfortable time with them. A ride of about two hours brought us into the city. The day was very wet and uncomfortable, and the damp air particu- larly trying to my chest. I trust, we shall be strengthened to proceed on the awful work before vis ; but indeed, the prospect of it feels very serious, and great is our poverty and sense of pre- K 130 MEMOIES OF MARIA FOX. [1826. vailing weakness. Oh, for the increase of faith ! What said our blessed Redeemer? " Verily, I say unto you, if ye have faith, as a grain of mustard-seed, ye shall say unto this mountain. Re- move hence to yonder place, and it shall remove, and nothing shall be impossible unto you.'" Well may we then say, with the dis- ciples, " Lord, increase our faith ; " for as it must come from Thee, so Thou alone canst make it grow, and enable us, through its efficacious operation, to overcome all that would oppose itself to thy will. 7th, Third-day. We were very low, but, I hope, quietly trusting in Him whom we desire to serve. In the evening, be- fore retiring to rest, a feeble prayer was offered for divine help, in our great weakness and poverty. Wth, Seventh-day. After breakfast, a few words of prayer arose in my heart, which were vocally expressed, and we then went forth to our daily labour. Spirits very low ; my dear sister poorly, with a bad head-ache. Oh ! that we may seek, more and more, for patience, and look, in humble faith, to Him, who only can qualify for his service, who only can enable us to communicate suitable counsel, or to enter rightly into feeling with those to whom we may be sent ; that so, nothing may be strengthened, but what is of the Lord, and nothing discouraged, that is ever so feebly breathing after Him. 12^/?, Fii'st-day. Went to Gracechurch Street meeting. It was large, and I sat, for a long time, under much feeling, but was fearful of being in the way of others, or of moving before the right time. At length, however, I stood up, with the proclama- tion of Joshua, to the assembled host of Israel, " Behold the ark of the covenant of the Lord of all the earth, passeth over before you into Jordan ; and was led to enlarge, a little, on the subse- quent command to the people, to arise and go after it, and on the wonders the Lord wrought for his people, in bringing them into the promised land. W. Allen followed, on the efficacy of faith, in a lively and encouraging manner, and my sister was enabled, on bended knee, to offer the tribute of praise, and to petition for the renewed help of the great Shepherd. \Zth, Second-day. At the " Morning Meeting," where we met many friends. It was particularly interesting to us, to see 1826.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 131 dear Isaac Hammer, on his return from Germany and Switzer- land. He gave, in the most simple manner, a very satisfactory account of his visit in those countries, furnishing renewed evi- dence, that we serve a very gTacious Master, and conchided with the humble acknowledgment, that there never was any period of his life, when he more felt the force of our Lord's injunction, " When ye shall have done all these things which are commanded you, say, We are unprofitable servants." 15th, Fourth-day. The Monthly Meeting at Staines. The meeting for worship not large, but quiet, and, I trust, we may thankfully acknowledge, favoured with the overshadowing wing of ancient goodness, under which, a degree of capacity was renew- edly afforded, to minister to some states present. My dear sister addressed the young, in a sweetly encouraging manner, and when she concluded, I ventured to stand up, with the words of the first commandment, and had to enlarge on the nature of divine love, — love to God, from which flows love to mankind, as the essence of vital religion. At the close of the women's meetino- for business, a short supplication arose in my heart, and was vocally offered, on behalf of the young people present. We separated, I trust, under a solemn covering. Went to Dr. Pope's to dine, where we met an interesting company. After the cloth was drawn, a precious stillness gradually overspread us ; when it seemed best to express something of the concern I felt for some present, who had been brought into great afiliction, and who were, I believed, peculiarly designed to come forth, more unreservedly in the Lord's service ; to encourage these to be faithful, and to endeavour patiently to endure every necessary baptism. My sister was afterwards en- gaged in supplication, and we parted under the renewed feeling of that love which is ancient and new. 20th, Second-day. This work of individual and family visits, is very reducing to the natural mind, teaching us, that our de- pendence is only on the one Source of holy help. May we be willing to dwell deep, and so, know a capacity to enter rightly into the states of the people, but " who is sufficient for these things." None, truly, but through that grace which can do all things. 21 st, Third-day. Rose this morning, low and stripped in mind, and seemingly destitute of good, having also many fears k;2 132 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1826. about the awful work in which we are engaged. A young man, wlio had fixed to be here, was late, and when he did arrive, seemed to be one of those who had wandered far from the path of safety. We had several such visits tliis morning, but the gospel call was wonderfully sounded to them, and the voice of suppli- cation offered on their behalf ; that they might be rescued from the snares of the enemy, through the power of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Saviour of men, who led captivity captive, and trium- phed over death, hell and the grave. Oh ! how great is his love and mercy to poor rebellious man ! how does He plead and strive with him, and call again and again to his wandering creatures, with a language like that of the prophet formerly, " Turn ye, turn ye, from your evil ways, for why will ye die, 0 ! house of Israel V 2Srd, Fifth-dai/. Much cause for humble, reverent gratitude, amidst these arduous labours, wherein our faith is often closely proved. May we find it renewed and confirmed, by the repeated extension of the divine goodness and mercy .' 25i/?, Seventh-day. A very low day ; wherein there seemed a burden to bear, something like that of being baptized for the dead. Oh ! that we may seek for patience, to endure every con- flict that may be necessary for our complete reduction. Visited some, who seem entrenched in the pride of philosophy and the wisdom of this world ; but we have reason thankfully to acknow- ledge the extension of that power, which, when it pleases the Lord to choose the weak things, can make them bold for his cause and name. 26^/?, First-day. Went to Gracechurch Street meeting, where were some other strangers. After a considerable time of silence, the covering of supplication was permitted to overspread us, and I ventured to bend the knee, and implore the divine mercy for dilFerent states present, especially for those who are wandering from the fold, that, through submission to the Spirit of the Lord Jesus Christ, who "was manifested that He might destroy the works of the devil," these may be delivered from the jaws of the devourer, by that holy arm, which, of old, cut Rahab in pieces and wounded the dragon. Several lively communications fol- lowed, and the meeting ended, vmder a solemn feeling. Low in 1826.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 133 the evening, and somewhat spent, but before retiring, felt a little renewal of foith and confidence in the divine power. 28i/i, Third-day. G. B. kindly conveyed us to Tottenham, to call on the widow of our valued friend, E. J. She met us with a settled composure that bespoke the prevalence of christian resignation, amidst the feeling of indescribable sorrow. After we had, for a short time, mingled our tears, a most precious covering overspread us, in which there seemed only room for the language of praise and thanksgiving. It was indeed a solemn time, affording renewed evidence, that the foundation of God standeth sure," and that it will bear up, in holy stability and quiet, those who are built upon it, through all the sufferings and conflicts of time. 29th, Fourth-day. The meeting at Gracechurch Street, a quiet, comfortable time ; silent till near the close, when H. B. ex- pressed a few words, and my dear sister was engaged in suppli- cation. I sat under considerable feeling, but did not see any way rightly to express it, and it seemed best, when the meeting broke up, to propose to meet the committee, who had been engaged in planning the visits, requesting also the company of those in the station of overseer. They were accordingly convened after the meeting of Ministers and Elders, and the friends belonging to this meeting joined us. The company was chiefly composed of a considerable number of young and middle-aged men'; and the call was remarkably extended to them, to come forward to the sup])ort of the Lord's cause, and to the help of those, who have long borne the burden and heat of the day. Great, indeed, is the weight that devolves on these, in this meeting ; but there are many among the younger class, who are, I fully believe, under the preparing hand, and who wiW, if they are willing to surrender themselves fully, be made vessels of honour and of use in the Lord's house. It was a time of precious, uniting feeling, and dear W. A. offered a lively prayer, at the conclusion, for the feeble messengers, and for those who had been visited. In the winding up of this very arduous engagement, there is renewed cause, in deep humiliation and abasedness of soul, to pour forth the tribute of thanksgiving, to the great Author of all our spiritual and temporal mercies, and to bless his great and ever excellent 13-t MEMOIRS OF MARIA FoX. [1826. name, wlio, though He still sends forth his servants without pui'se or scrip, enables them, as they look to Him, to acknowledge in the end, that they have lacked nothing. We have received great kindness from the dear friends amongst whom our lot has been cast, and everything seems to have been done in their power to facilitate the work. Twelfth Month \st, Sixth-day. Set oif this morning, had an agreeable journey, with pleasant company, and reached home in the afternoon. It is tnily comfortable to be permitted again to reach oui* own quiet habitation. Zrd, First-day. Rose this morning, somewhat low in mind, and still poorly from cold, so that I was ready to give up going to meeting, but concluded to set out with my sister. At the close of it, our Preparative Meeting, where was read a lively epistle from Friends in Philadelphia, affording evidence that amidst all the overturnings in that land, " the foundation of God standeth sure," and that those who are happUy established upon it, are enabled still to bring forth fruit to his praise. This afternoon, the desire of my mind is, as at many other times, to commit our all into the keeping of a faithful Creator, who has hitherto graciously cared for us. We cannot be safe, for a moment, out of his keeping, and in it, nothing can harm us, because all the trials and sorrows of life are so many links in the chain of a merciful Providence, that designs to bind us, more and more closely, to the source and centre of true happiness. In re- viewing the Lord's goodness and condescension to us, his feeble servants, during the late journey, my soul is, at times, bowed in reverent thankfulness, and acknowledges that great is the divine faithfulness. In prospect, it was very serious, and the trial in- creased to me, by an apprehension, that, in the eyes of some, there might seem a degree of forwardness in my making the application for a certificate ; but as my dear sister did not apprehend it laid on her to do this, I could not do otherwise. The same trial was permitted in our going to the continent, and I am, at times, ready to inquire, why it should be so. But we, short-sighted beings, can see little of the operations of the divine hand, and know not how soon He may see meet to cut short the work and close th e service of any ; so that to work while it is day, seems 1826.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 135 only ours, leaving the future to Him who knows the end from the beginning, and who is worthy to be served, honoured and obeyed, by the whole house of Israel. Those who are called to the work of the ministry, have many conflicts to endure, many deaths to die, not only for the reduction of that within themselves which is opposed to the cross of Christ, but also to qualify them for entering more deeply into sympathy with the variety of experience in others. And besides this, they are called to suffer, in their different degrees of capacity, for the "body's sake, which is the church," to be " baptized for the dead," and to realize something of the apostle's experience, when he said, "I die daily ;" still, if " they are, at times, enabled to lay hold of the consoling hope, that their life is hid with Him who is their all, they can rejoice in the midst of tribulation, and say, with humble confidence, " I know that my Redeemer liveth." Seeing, however, that we can only live by one faith, that we all desire to serve the same Lord, and must all be baptized with a measure of the same baptism, surely^ we ought tenderly to sympathize one with another, and peculiarly to exercise towards each other, that holy charity, which believeth all things and hopeth all things. Ith, Fifth-day. Our Quarterly Meeting. Several of the ministers present were engaged both in testimony and supplica- tion, particularly dear W. F., in a long and awakening call to the worldly-minded, attended with a great degree of power. It was a searching time, and such an one, as must, I would hope, be profitably remembered by many. I ventured, at the end, to offer on the bended knee, the tribute of thanksgiving and praise to Him, who never forsakes his dependent children, in any of the conflicts through which He may be pleased to lead them ; com- memorating his goodness, faithfulness and truth, in humble con- fidence, that He will be with his devoted servants to the end. 13^/i, Fourth-day. In the afternoon, my spirits greatly depressed, and poorly in health. In contemplating the very serious prospect before me, my heart is, at times, ready to sink within me, under the pressure of my own weakness every way. The idea of entering afresh into life, into new scenes, new diities, and new responsibilities, seems almost more than I can bear to anticipate ; having to struggle with much bodily debility, and 136 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1826. often with mental suifering, fully known only to Him who sees in secret ; but, at times, my mind is, through unutterable mercy and goodness, permitted to anchor, as in the deep waters, on that rock which is the only sure refuge. Oh ! that I may seek to be more and more firmly established on this, and then, none of the vicissitudes of time can greatly move me. 15th, Sixth-day. Stayed within all day, my cold being still bad. In the evening, J. Crabb paid us a visit, and talked of his plans for the building of a county penitentiary. After supper, a little time of reading and retirement together, wherein we were favoured with a precious feeling of that presence, which can sustain through all the changes of dispensation, and at seasons enable the drooping mind, to rejoice in the midst of suffering. 16th, Seventh-day. Quite an invahd, with considerable fever and inflammatory tendency in my chest, and suifering at times great pain, but I desire to look, in simple trust, to Him who fully knows what is best for us, and who tenderly compassionates the weakness and infirmities of his children, designing, in aU their afilictions, ultimately to promote their highest happiness. S. F. left us to-day. Just before he set ofF, we were enabled renewedly to commemorate the divine faithfulness, and to express a desire for an increase of faith and patience, under every trial that may be permitted. 22nd, Sixth-day. Prevented by illness from writing siuce the 18th. During part of this time, I have suffered much severe pain, and found it difficult to attain that state of patience and complete acquiescence, which is our duty under every afihction. My mind much divested of the sensible enjoyment of good, and my bodily frame so weak, that it seems difiicult at times to think ; still, I feel abundant cause to acknowledge the mercy and goodness that permits me so many alleviations, in the possession of every outward comfort, and the tender attention and sympathy of my beloved sister and other dear friends. To S. F. Southampton, Twelfth Month 30th, 1826. Thou seest, my dear friend, the hand of chastening has been upon us ; may we be enabled, in all its ministrations, to 1826.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 137 trace that mercy and goodness which are mingled in the correc- tions of ovir compassionate Father, who designs, in all things, to in- struct us, to teach us our own nothingness, our own unworthiness, our entire dependence on his providential care. I sometimes recur, with a degree of comfort, to the little renewal of faith and confi- dence permitted just before we parted, when, under the feeling of approaching trial, which, for some time before, I apprehended was not very distant, there seemed a degree of capacity to look, as out of the depths, towards the holy temple. Still, when under the immediate pressure of bodily suffering, faith and patience were not easy to obtain, and nothing but the sense of abounding infirmities was often present to the mind ; yet, I would humbly hope, that He who perfectly knows our frame, and remembers that we are dust, accepts the desire of the soul after his sustaining presence, and will, in his own time, bind up that which He sees meet to bruise. Oh ! how much we require to humble us, and bring us entirely to the foot of the cross. That we may but be willing, there to bow, and there to remain, is the present desire of my heart. I am afraid, I am writing rather a gloomy letter, when I intended to cheer thee ; however, we may be, and ought to be, cheered, and filled with gratitude and thankfulness M. M. Twelfth Month S\st, First-day. Since the last memorandvmi was made, I have been very ill, and suffered extreme pain, from great enlargement and inflammation of the gums and throat ; so as to make the swallowing, even of liquids, extremely difficiJt. Restless nights and wearisome days seemed to be appointed me, and faith and patience at a very low ebb ; but, through all, I humbly trust, the arm of divine support was not withdrawn, and a degree of ability, at times, mercifully afforded, to lay hold on the anchor that is sure and stedfast ; yet, at other moments, the enemy was ready to pour in a flood of doubt and discouragement, tempting me to many unprofitable reasonings and fears. Oh ! for increased capacity to rebuke him, in the renewed power of living, victorious faith, — in the spirit of the Lord Jesus, who has assured us, that " Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word of God." Then, whether it be a word of sorrow or of joy, of suffering or 138 MEMOIRS OF MAKIA FOX. [1826. rejoicing, if it be converted, by this operative faith, into sub- stantial food, surely it is enough, and cause for humble, reverent gratitude, for deep prostration of soul before the footstool of Him, who is rich in mercy to all that call upon Him ; who openeth his hand, and satisfieth the desire of every living thing. The desire of the living, is life, — life eternal ; and if this inward, invisible life, be but nourished and supplied, even though it be by means in- comprehensible to our natiiral reason, and contrary to our natural will, are we not receiving the end of our faith ? because faith covenants for that which is spiritual, and regards the sufferings of the present time, as "not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us." In looking back, now at the close of the year, to the many and important events which have marked its progress, — to what has been done and felt, enjoyed and suffered, — to the many merciful preservations and leading pro- vidences that have been vouchsafed to me, a poor, weak, unworthy creature, surely I may set up an Ebenezer, and say, " Hitherto hath the Lord helped me." And oh ! in looking to a new and coming year, which, if life be permitted, seems likely to bring with it most important changes, may the prayer of my heart be continually and fervently to the Lord, that He would keep us in all our goings out and comings in, that He woiild be with us and bless us, and permit us to take shelter under his almighty wing ; that He would enable us to love, serve, and honour Him above all ; make us willing, patiently to suffer for his sake ; guard us on every hand, and keep us from evil, all the days of our appointed time on earth, and bring us, finally, through the blood of the covenant, the blood of sprinkling, " to the general assembly and church of the first-born, which are written in heaven ;" where all the multitude of his redeemed, eternally ascribe their salvation to our God, which sitteth upon the throne, and unto the Lamb. Amen ! 1827.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 139 CHAPTER VI. 1827. Continued illness — Prospect of religious service — Recovery — Presentation of marriage — Visit to Alton Monthly Meeting — Quar- terly Meeting — Memoranda — Marriage. 1827. First Month 2nd, Third day. This day seems to have passed, as mine too often do, with little that is instructive, to mark its flight ; or rather, to have left few traces upon a mind too unapt to receive and gather that instruction, which, no doubt, would be every day afforded to the humble, seeking soul. " Day unto day uttereth speech, and night unto night showeth know- ledge," said David, but this is only to eyes that are divinely anointed to see, and to ears that are opened to hear, the voice of creation and providence, which speaks, in gentle but intel- ligible accents, of the mysteries of heavenly love, and would cause, if we were duly attentive to it, the meditations of the heart to be of understanding. 6th, Seventh-day. Employed a part of the day, in looking over and arranging a quantity of letters and family papers ; a work, necessarily reviving many feelings of a very mingled nature, and recalling, in a vivid manner, the remembrance of days gone by, — of many deep sorrows and bereavements, in the loss of those who were dearest to us on earth, but whose virtues embalm their memory, and have left a sweet fragrance behind them ; enabling their children, at times, to rejoice in the consoling assurance, that they have, through adorable mercy, received the eternal crown laid up for the righteous, rather than to mourn their departure from this scene of mixture and vicissitude. Oh ! that we may seek to follow their bright example, and be one day re-united, where separation is no more. 7th, First-day. Still an absentee from meeting. My mind poor and stripped, and thoughts wandering after many things, instead of being fixed on the one great Object of worship. Oh ! when shall I attain a settlement in that spirit and disposition of mind, which is continual prayer ! Read, to-day, Dr. Morrison's 140 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1827. beautiful discourse, entitled " The Kindredsliip of the Nations/' wherein he sets forth, in a lively and forcible manner, the obliga- tions those are under, who profess the gospel of Christ, to extend their views beyond the limits of their own nation or government, and to embrace the whole human family, in the circle of bene- volence and love. To S. F. Southampton, First Month 9th, 1827. He who has promised to bring the blind by a way that they knew not, to make darkness light before them, and crooked things straight, has, I think, added, " These things will I do unto them, and not forsake them." Oh ! what a promise is this ! Shall it not humble all within us, in reverent thankful- ness ? I wish I were more capable of true prayer for myself and my dear friends ; but one thing we are assured of, that the eternal covenant is with the night as well as with the day ; oh, then ! that we may hold it fast, in the hour of trial and darkness, remembering that to us, it is given, not only to believe on the Lord Jesus Chi-ist, but also to suffer for his sake. We must not expect to be always employed, but often to be laid by as use- less, to feel our own emptiness and nothingness, because in this way, the great Master is pleased to deal with the vessels. He gra- ciously condescends to fill, at times, with heavenly treasure. I have thought, this morning, of Moses, who was long in the desert, in the obscure character of shepherd, before he was sent forth on the mission to which heaven had appointed him ; and a greater than Moses, was forty days in the wilderness, tempted of the devil. Why should I wite thus to thee, my dear friend, who art so well acc|uainted with the way, but it is one of the privileges and duties of christian friendship, to commune at times of these things, and, as our poet beautifully expresses it, " Gird up each other to the race divine." M. M. First Month lOth, Foiirth-dai/. My sister gone to meet- ing. I am still much a prisoner, and I fear, in this long 1827.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 141 absence from the assemblies of my friends, not sufficiently care- ful to seek to the holy anointing, which would keep the lamp constantly burning, in the inner temple of the heart. Yet, in the midst of great weakness and poverty, I feel, at this time, some renewal of faith in the goodness of Israel's Shepherd, and of desire to commit myself fully to his disposal in all things. 1 1th, Sixth-day. On my waking, this morning, I was led to re- flect on the conduct of divine Providence, in regard to the affairs of men, and was again shown the necessity of a simple trust and cheerful obedience, of a willingness to follow every leading as it may be offered, step by step, without being anxious to look forward. It seemed to me, that if our gracious and wise Director and Preserver was pleased to open to us one page of his book, we had only to read, and endeavour to fulfil what was there written for our instruction or guidance ; and that we should not desire to turn the leaf over, until it should please our Heavenly Father, further to unfold his plan and designs concerning us. Afterwards, received a letter, which induced me to believe I shoidd be required to perform an act of faith, by taking one step towards an important movement, without much sight about the next. 14^A, First-day. Passed a distressing night, from violent pain ; and during our hours of watchfulness, my dear sister and myself were brought into a close examination of ourselves, and an inquiry was raised in our minds, what might be the voice of the rod, with a desire to be made willing to follow any pointing of duty that might be clearly discerned. It was the apprehension of both, that a secret attraction, we have at times felt, to some parts of Alton Monthly Meeting, may probably lead us, before long, to visit our friends in that district. Oh, for simple faith ! 21 si. First-day. I open my book, and see that a week has elapsed since I wrote anything in it. During that week, much bodily suffering has been allotted me, so that nature, under the pressure of severe pain, has been, at times, ready to give out, spent with the effort to keep quiet under it. It has been to me a time of deep distress, — painful nights and languid days, and the better part in a state of great poverty and destitution ; so that, in some moments, I have been ready to conclude myself left as a prey to the enemy ; yet, blessed be the Lord, I have a MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1827. consoling hope, that He will not utterly leave, or cast off his unworthy, unprofitable servant, but ■will, in his own good time, rebuke the tempter, and bring my soul out of prison, giving a degTee of renewed capacity to praise his name, because He is mer- ciful and compassionate, and afflicts not willingly his children, but designs, in all things, to instract them and to make them more and more fruitful to Himself, if they are subject, patient and teach- able. How difficult this lesson of holy patience ! What severe discipline we require before it is operated in ns ! Grant me, 0 Lord ! I beseech Thee, an increase of this heavenly gi-ace ; con- form me to thy holy ^nll, that all may be laid at the foot of the cx'oss, and that Thou mayst be the all in all of my subjected soul. Suffer me not to murmm* at the means Thou mayst be pleased to employ, but may I, with filial submission, kiss the rod ! Second Month llth, First-day. This day three weeks, the last memorandum was made ; and on now reading it over, and reflecting on what has passed in the intermediate time, I know not where or how to begin the record of my thoughts and feelings. For some days, my illness continued increasing, and the night of the 24th of last month, was one of intense and indescribable suffering, attended with such great prostration of strength, as discouraged our medical friends ; and our tinily kind and sym- pathizing neighbour R. L., thought it necessaiy to apprize S. F. of our state, who set off a few hours after he received the letter. By the time he reached us, I was, through the merciful kindness of our compassionate Father, something better, and found it a comfort and support to have his company. It was also a gi'eat relief to my dear sister, who was much worn down with fatigue, and the trial of undi\dded anxiety. On Sixth- day, the 2nd inst., was oui* Monthly Meeting at this place, when my sister laid before Friends, her prospect of visiting Alton Monthly Meeting. A few lines from myself expressed the unity I felt with her, and oui* friends, after considering the subject, set us at liberty to pay this little debt of love, when the way may appear rightly to open, and ability be afforded. S. F. remained with us till the 6th : during his stay, I was favoured to make gradual, though slow progress, towards recovery, and on endeavouring to enter with him into the consideration of our future prospects, I did not feel easy towithhold my consent 1827.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 143 to his taking the first public step towards the accomplishment of our union, at his next Monthly Meeting. My mind has, indeed, under the feeling of great bodily weakness, been often much discouraged, in looking forward to a new and enlarged sphere of relative and social duties, apprehending I shall be found very incompetent to the due performance of them ; yet, I can thank- fully acknowledge, that during our late interview, we were per- mitted to feel the prevalence of that preciously calming influence, which seemed to stay our minds in the humble hope, that our proceeding in this important affair, is in the disposal of best wisdom ; and at seasons, through unutterable, adorable mercy, we were favoured, unitedly, to approach the spring of living water, and to partake of its consoling, invigorating stream ; so that I dare not question the leadings of a gracious Providence, though my heart tenderly sympathizes with my dear friend, in the pros- pect of entering upon this new and interesting relation with a companion, who is likely to make large claims on his care and solicitude. l-ith, Fourth-day. My heart is made thankful this morning, in feeling something of that calming influence, which, as it is sought after and dwelt under, enables us, poor unworthy creatiu-es, to receive our daily portion from the divine hand, and to trust for the morrow, to the same providential care. " If God so clothe the grass of the field, which to-day is and to-morrow is cast into the oven, shall He not much more clothe you, 0 ! ye of little faith V In the evening, some friends came to tea : before they left us, we were favoured with the prevalence of that uniting feeling which binds together those who love the Lord Jesus Christ, and under this precious covering, we were enabled thank- fully to commemorate the Lord's mercies. ]5th, Fifth-day. S. Pumphrey left us in manuscript, the account of one of his sons who died at the age of eleven, and the diary of another who was also removed in early life. They exhibit the effects of religion on the youthful mind, and afford an encou- raging proof, that the endeavour, early to implant right principles in the minds of children, is often followed by a blessing in the pro- gress of life. When we contemplate the early removal of those, who have been induced to seek, in the dawn of life, an establish- ment in the unchangeable troth, we ought, surely, to rejoice on 144 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1827. their account, because we know not, if they had been continued here, how much the influence of the world and the power of temptation, might have drawn them from a safe course. 16th, Sixth-day. Still a prisoner in the house, but through favour, progressing as to health. I fear my time, though fully occupied with a variety of employments, is not improved as it might be, to the highest purposes. Alas ! how apt is the mind to be filled with trifling cares, to the exclusion of those which are of the gi'eatest importance, but it is a favour to feel, from time to time, the renewal of desire after that which proceeds from the Source of all good, seeing we cannot, of ourselves, command such desires ; though they will do little for us, without a steady application of the soul to Him from whom cometh every spiritual and temporal gift. TO HER SISTER. Bring me choicest flowers of spring, All that summer's sun discloses, — Violet and woodbine bring, And all rich and fragrant roses ; No ! deliglitful thougli they be, These are not a wreath for thee. Round the laughing brow of mii-th, Let them gayest garlands twine ; Meed of more enduring worth Must reward such love as thine ; Ever in my inmost breast Treasured deep, but ne'er exprest. Love, that shed its genial ray Round mj' head in earliest youth, And, through life's eventful day Shines with constancy and truth : Health and sickness, joy and cai-e, Have but made its light more clear. Like twin-blossoms on one stem, We have grown through sun and showers, But the storm that withers them, Only strengthens love like ours ; Surely, 'tis a bond, that never, Time, nor life, nor death shall sever Second Month 17 th. 1827.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 145 18th, First-day. A few lines, this morning, very unexpectedly, from dear J. W., an interesting, religiously disposed young woman we became acquainted with, dui'ing our stay in Hamburgh. It marks a lively desire after the highest good, as well as the con- tinuance of her affectionate regard. In the afternoon, read a passage in the first chapter of Lamentations, " For these things I weep ; mine eye, mine eye runneth down with water, because the comfox-ter that should relieve my soul, is far from me." This expression, with some others in the chapter, seem very descriptive of the state my mind has been permitted to experience, during a part of my late illness, when I was ready, in effect, to exclaim in the bitterness of my soul, " From above hath He sent a fire into my bones, and it prevaileth against them but through unutter- able mercy, there has been, in some measure, a capacity to ac- knowledge, " Thy word was unto me the joy and rejoicing of my heart," because " the words of the Lord are pure words, as silver tried in a furnace of earth, piirified seven times and though the administration of his discipline may not be such as nature desires, or, unassisted by divine grace, can patiently endure, still, it is by this that man must live, and the soul that has been happily touched with a ray of divine love and light, feels that the merci- ful corrections of its Heavenly Father and Friend, are more to be desired than all the treasures of this corrupt world. Happy is the man whom the Lord correcteth, if he humble himself under the holy hand, and seek, in all things, to know what is the mind of the Spirit. 2lst, Fou7-th-day. A most kind letter to-day, from our friend W. F. It discovers the tender interest he takes in all that con- cerns his friends, and is a fresh call for deep, heart-felt gratitude to the all-bountiful Giver of every good, who has provided us with such a faithful counsellor, at a time when we particularly feel the loss of those who were everything to us, that parental love could suggest, or inexperience require. To S. F. Southampton, Second Month 23rd, 1827. It is a great favour my strength is so much re- turned as it is, one for which I desire, with thee, we may cherish L 146 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1827. humble thankfulness to the great Author of all our blessings ; but I fear my mind is far from that constant sense of lively gratitude that ought to be sought after, though I would hope, endeavouring at times to number the unmerited mercies that are indeed new every morning. Pray for me, my dear friend, when thou art favoured to approach the sacred footstool, that none of the corrections of our compassionate Father may fail of their gracious purpose, but may accomplish the end for which they are administered, that returning health may find me more humble, more devoted, more watchful, and simply dependent on provi- dential care and guidance. There is a beautiful hymn in the Olney collection, beginning " Quiet, Lord, my froward heart," that has often occurred to my mind of late. How much I desire to live in the spirit of it ! M. M. Second Month loth, First-day. Went to meeting, for the first time, after an absence of more than ten weeks. A covering of precious quiet was permitted to some of our spirits, under which, I ventured to offer the language of thanksgiving, and to peti- tion, that all the gracious purposes of our merciful Creator respect- ing us, might be accomplished. My dear sister was, afterwards, led instructively to enforce the necessity of living faith in the dear Son of God, and of diligent application to the throne of grace. 21th, Third-day. My spirits have been, all day, somewhat depressed, the state of my health producing a good deal of dis- courao-ement. Alas ! how ungrateful is the himian heart. ! how much more disposed to dwell on little circumstances, that are, in any degree, contrary to its wishes, than to number, with thankfulness and humility, the great, the innumerable blessings of which it is the daily and hourly receiver. Surely, I have abundant cause to bless the great name of Him, who hath done wonderfully for me, hath sustained me through many deep conflicts, and sent down showers of blessings on his unworthy child. Why then, art thou cast down, 0 my soul ! and why art thou disquieted within me ? Hope thou in God, who is able to deliver to the very uttermost ; He will not reject the feeble cry of the truly dependent soul, but will surely hear its 1827.J MEMOIRS OP MARIA FOX. 147 prayer. Does he not feed the young ravens, and clothe the very ^ass of the field ? Will He not then supply all the need of his childi'en, though He may suffer them to hunger in the wilderness, in order to humble them and to prove them, to know what is in their heart ; yet are his purposes very gracious, and if they rebel not against his guidance, He will finally bring them to his spiri- tual Canaan, — during their journey through the wilderness, will feed them with manna, and give them water from the rock of flint; teaching them, that they are not to ' ' live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God." Gird thyself then anew, 0 my soul ! to this, thy heavenward journey ; faint not by reason of the dangers or difficulties of the way, but run, ydth. patience, the race that is set before thee, looking unto J esus, the author and finisher of his people's faith ; thou knowest not when the warfare may be accomplished, — thou knowest not whether thy travel may be long or short ; therefore, press for- ward, with holy diligence, with humble confidence, thankful for thy daily bread, whatever it be, and trusting in the good provi- dence of Jehovah for the moiTOW. If the Lord be on our side, we need not fear ; Ids power is greater than all the power of the enemy, and his mercy endureth for ever. Be pleased, most gracious Father ! to renew my faith in thy all-sufficient arm ; make me patient, meek and humble ; waiting on Thee for daily supplies of spiritual strength, and trusting in thy rich, thy inexhaustible mercy, through our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. Thii-d Month \st, Fifth-da^/. Rose, this morning, under a depressing feeling of bodily weakness ; set off in the forenoon, with S. F., my sister and cousin, for our Monthly Meeting at Fordingbridge. Just before our departure, sitting quietly to- gether, waiting for the carriage, we were favoured with a sense of heavenly good, which seemed to strengthen us in a moment of some discouragement. 2?i(Z, Sixth-day. Attended our Monthly Meeting : in the first part, my mind was permitted to feel the preciously calming influence of that peace which the world cannot give, wherein I was led silently to adore the goodness and mercy of God. When the meetings for business were opened, my friend and myself were enabled satisfactorily to go through the formidable, public L 2 148 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1827. announcement of our intentions. I consider it cause for deep, humble thankfulness, that our minds were covered, throughout the day, with such a sustaining quiet, as seemed like an evidence of divine approval, and may, I trust, be recurred to, in future times of trial. To S. F. Southampton, Third Month Uth, 1827. I trust it is with a degree of humble thankfulness I may say, that in the multitude of my thoughts within me, there is generally prevalent in my mind, a calm, confiding feeling, that stays me in something like quiet dependence on the leadings of an all-wise Providence, whose hand is full of blessings, and that enables me to believe, that if it please Him whom we desire to follow, to unite us in the most tender relation. He will bestow upon us, as we seek to walk in humility, much real happiness, mingled with such a portion of trial or affliction, as shall be ne- cessary to the accomplishment of his all-merciful purposes con- cerning us. This we must expect, and, at times, in large measure ; nor ought we to wish it otherwise ; seeing it is part of the cove- nant between the great Master and his faithful disciples. It is not the lot of man to gather the rose without the thorn, whilst he sojourns below ; that is reserved for an unclouded region, where love, and peace, and joy, are not mixed with error, nor endangered by temptation, nor shaded by disappointment. Life is full of vicissitudes ; light and shadows, sun and showers, with occasional storms, make up the fleeting day of human existence, and the christian, whilst he shares these alternations, in common with others, has also his own peculiar portion of trials ; but then, under all, he has a peace with which the world cannot intermeddle, and how glorious are his prospects in that future state of being, where this union with his Lord and Saviour shall be made per- fect and permanent ! Well may he, in the contemplation of his present comforts and future hopes, be brought, in deep prostration of soul, to the acknowledgment of pious Jacob, " I am not worthy of the least of all the mercies and of all the truth, which Thou hast showed unto thy servant." We know not, my dear friend, what shall befal us here, but we know the faithfulness of Him who hath called us, and who, I humbly believe, has united our 1827.] MEMOIBS OF MARIA FOX. 149 hearts in that which is independent of the vicissitudes of time. Oh ! that it may be our daily concern, by continued watchfulness unto prayer, to abide in Him, that so we may strengthen each other in every good word and work M. M. Third Month 17 tli, Seventh-day. Rose early, and prepared for our journey, but under very trying feelings ; my dear H. being so poorly, that it seemed quite unsuitable for her to venture. Were conveyed safely to Alton ; J. Barclay kindly met us at the inn. Truly comfortable it is to us, to be under his roof. \^th, First-day. Went to meeting, where, after a considerable time of silence, we both expressed something, and at the close, our minute was read. After it, J. B. expressed his wish to ac- company us, if his friends saw no objection, into the families of his own meeting. 20^A, Third-day. We go from house to house, under feelings of great poverty and weakness, having, as it were, the sentence of death in ourselves, yet have cause to acknowledge, from time to time, the extension of best help. 25^^, First-day. Attended the small meeting at Basingstoke, a very low time. My dear sister was at length enabled to minister, and I ventured to oiFer what arose, feeling sympathy with some humble, diffident minds present, who, we were ready to think, were under much discouragement. Afterwards, visited a poor friend and two children ; she seemed in great trouble, from various causes, and was encouraged to cast her burden on the one great DeUverer, whose tender mercies are over all his works. 26iA, Second-day. Arrived at our own door, about four in the afternoon. Felt thankful, in being permitted to return to our quiet, comfortable habitation. SO^/i, Sixth-day. This day is my birth-day, and exactly a year since we set out for London, on our way to Holland and Germany. What a variety of circumstances and interests have filled the intermediate time ! how many lessons of deep instruc- tion ought I to have learned ! and how should my heart be humbled, in remembrance of the countless instances of divine 150 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1827. care and compassion that have marked this period, to one so un- worthy ! I desire greatly that the favours and privileges so bountifully showered upon me, may have the effect of producing not only deep humility and lively gratitude, but may also expand my heart in acts of love and benevolence towards my fellow- creatures ; that I may constantly bear in mind the words of our blessed Lord, " Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these, my brethren, ye have done it unto me," and be stimulated to seek out and relieve the distresses of his afflicted members on earth. When I look at the many comforts with which I am surrounded, I feel a fear lest I should be appropriating to my own use, anything that ought to be applied to the pressing wants of others. May I ever watch over myself in this respect, and not be induced to expend, on unnecessary accommodations, that for which we are accountable stewards. 31s^, Seventh-day. Though submission, unquestioning sub- mission to the divine will, be often Lard to attain, it must be sought after, in every dispensation of an all-wise Providence ; who is, perhaps, more acceptably served by this silent act of self-renunciation, this abandoning ourselves to his disposal and guidance, waiting upon Him in the way of his judgments, than by more conspicuous exertions for his cause, in which there is greater room for self-love to nourish itself, and mingle its own activities. " I was dumb, I opened not my mouth, because Thou didst it," said David, and surely it is the language of pious re- signation and devout awe. Fourth Month \st, First-day. Woke this morning early, full of thought, but with a lively and sweet feeling of the merciful kindness and care of our Heavenly Father, extended to all his children, wherein I thought we might renewedly take comfort, and repose oiirselvcs on his invisible but invincible arm, because, whilst we can humbly hope we are endeavouring to follow his guidance, we may safely confide that all will be well. After breakfast, the twenty-third psalm -was brought sweetly to my re- membrance, and afforded encouragement to my mind, under a variety of deep emotions. This visit, being the last S. F. is likely to pay us, before the time proposed for the completion of our union, is fraught with peculiar feelings, as it seems to bring into 1827.] MEMOIES OF MARIA FOX. 151 very near view, my expected entrance into solemn engagements and new responsibilities. The prospect of entering upon an un- tried path, of setting out afresh on the journey of life, is serious indeed, and introduces my mind into deep thoughtfulness ; but let me remember, there is no good tiling in any of us, that is not given by the one great Source of good, who has said, " Ask, and ye shall receive so that in Him all strength is to be found, if we are walling to seek it, with fervency and humility of soul. He sees the end from the beginning, and will lead us into no trial which He will not enable us to meet, if our dependence be on Him ; and is not this enough ? — enough to bow the soul in humble adoration, whilst she can crave an interest in that heart-cheering language, " Lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world." 7th, Seventh day. Set off, soon after nine, with S. F. and H. M., to Andover, on our way to the Quarterly Meeting at Poole. We are to visit the few families in the former meeting, it being a part of Alton Monthly Meeting. Mh, Second-day. The Monthly Meeting ; in which our little band were severally enabled to minister to different states, and the call was renewedly extended to the dear young people. Set off to Salisbury, where J. B. joined us, and we spent an agreeable evening together. Wth, Fourth-day. Quarterly Meeting at Poole. After some time of silence, my sister's voice was heard amongst us, in a lively testimony to the divine power and goodness. I felt most easy, afterwards, to express something on the nature of the christian dispensation, as a system of reconciliation and peace ; enforcing the necessity of our seeking to be conformed to its meek, for- bearing spirit. The meeting closed, I trust, under a degree of solemn feeling. Our clerk being absent, I was requested by my friends to supply her place, and as it may be the last opportunity of serving my own Quarterly Meeting in this way, I was un- willing to refuse, though not very equal to the business. After the appointment of representatives to the Yearly Meeting, R. B. spoke in a very sweet and encouraging manner, on the strength that is, at times, derived from a willingness to give up to little acts of dedication. When the business was completed, my 152 MEMOIRS or MARIA FOX. [1827. dear sister offered a vocal prayer on belialf of this part of the heritage. I was fearful of taking off anything from the feeling produced, and yet was not quite easy to leave the meeting, without expressing something of the lively interest I felt for my dear friends in these parts. The young people were invited to bend their necks to the yoke of Christ, and to come up to the help of those who have long been faithful standard-bearers, and who, in the natural course of events, must, ere long, be gathered to that rest which is prepared for the people of God, receiving the end of their faith, even the salvation of their souls. A uniting feeling was permitted to attend us in the conclusion, which was cause of thankfulness. We dined with a considerable company ; after- wards, some expression of sympathy with an afBicted state present, seemed due from me, and my sister followed in the language of invitation. I thought it no small favour, to be sensible of a degree of precious quiet throughout the day, which had been formidable to me, and proved a time of much feeling, in taking leave of many to whom we are much attached. 12th, Fifth-day. Breakfasted in company with our dear friends, W. and R. Byrd. After the reading, the latter addressed us in the language of exhortation and affectionate interest, desiring we might all keep near to our heavenly Guide, so that when separated from each other, we might be as epistles written in each other's hearts. 13^/?, Sixth-day. Called on several families of friends, and came home in the afternoon. It was a beautiful evening, and we had a pleasant ride through the Forest, where we saw a great number of deer bounding in the glades, more than I ever re- collect to have noticed, at one time. Our spirits were in rather a low key, but a quiet feeling was permitted to attend, and a degree of thankfulness, that we had been enabled to get through the little visit to our friends in Alton Monthly Meeting, and to attend the Quarterly Meeting. 21si, Seventh-day. In the afternoon, we rode with our friends, R. and E. Lindoe, to Bittern, a beautiful drive. On the way, we had some very interesting and instructive conversation, with dear Dr. L., who is a striking example of christian humility and sub- mission, under many complicated trials. This acquaintance has 1827.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 1.53 been one of the many favours permitted to us, during our resi- dence, of nearly six years, in this place. 22nd, First-day. After a week of very close occupation, feel glad that a day of rest is come ; though even this is not to be wholly our o^vn, a part of it being, almost unavoidably, appro- priated to visiting. Some of our friends are not able to come on other days, and we are unwilling to leave the place, without seeing most or all of them at our house. I am ready to fear the multi- plicity of little concerns, just now requiring our attention, will so occupy our minds, as not to leave sufficient time for that inward retirement, so necessary to our best welfare, but we must re- member, there is a propriety in endeavouring to perform, with patience, our daily duties, whether great or small ; and I desire to seek, more and more, after that calming influence which can stay the mind, and keep the even balance. 25th, Fourth-day. Much occupied, and my mind sadly destitute of good. Oh ! for a more earnest desire, a more diligent labour of soul, wrestling for the blessing, without which, all else is unprofitable. 2Qth, Fifth- day. Read the account of the conversion of the jailor, in the sixteenth chapter of Acts, and of the opening of the heart of Lydia. May it be my constant prayer to have the heart opened, for the reception of divine instruction, by the power of Him who hath the key of David. 2Sth, Seventh-day. Went to the house of our kind friends, R. and E. L., where we spent the remainder of the day. Their temporary residence, at Bittern, is situated in a delightful part of the neighbourhood, and we greatly enjoyed a ramble through a beautiful wood, just putting forth its young foliage ; the ground enamelled with violets, primroses and other early flowers, and the birds singing melodiously. 2Qth, First-day. At meeting this morning, but in a wander- ing, unprofitable state, till our dear E. W. stood up with a sweet address on the nature of worship, and the duty of seeking to be qualified for the performance of tlus solemn act. At the close of her communication, a short addition arose in my mind, encourag- ing us to endeavour to press through the crowd of hindrances and temptations, and try to touch, though it were but the hem of the 154 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1827. Saviour's garment, whose compassionate language to the believing soul, still is, " Thou art loosed from thine infirmity." Fifth Month \st, Third-da^. My spirits low to-day, partly owing to the pain I have again suffered. Retired to rest, under a renewed feeling of the divine goodness and compassion, desiring I might cheerfully bear whatever suffering may be appointed me, knofldng that our Heavenly Father will not inflict one stroke more of his salutary corrections, than He sees necessary. 6f7i, First-day. My mind is under a great weight, in the prospect of an important step, now to be soon taken : I feel it to be a solemn and awful one, but I desire to look, with faith and simple dependence, to that God who has hitherto been very graci- ous to me, his poor, unworthy creature, whose good providence has upheld me in many difficulties, and by whose grace I am brought hitherto. May I not, in remembrance of the past, bow reverently before Him, and say with the psalmist, " Let thy loving kindness and thy truth continually preserve me." Words cannot express what I feel, in the consideration of how large a part of life has been suffered to pass away, with improvement that bears little pro- portion to the advantages bestowed. Grant me grace, 0 Lord ! I beseech Thee, so to walk through the remainder of it, whether it be long or short, that my conduct and conversation may, in all things, adorn thy doctrine ; and when it shall please Thee to re- call the life Thou hast given, Oh ! grant that I and those dearest to me, may be admitted within the pearl gates of thy heavenly city, where all the multitude of thy redeemed for ever sing thy praise. Amen. Towards the close of the evening meeting, a degree of that in- fluence which resembles the descending of the dew, was mercifully granted, and vocal supplication was offered on behalf of the Lord's visited children, the poor of his family, who feel they have no other helper. lOiA, Fifth-day. In the afternoon, my sister and myself called at Michael Maurice's, and were invited to see Emma, who has been confined all winter, with severe illness. She has a distressing cough, which continues almost incessantly, from the early morning till very late at night, when, from the complete exhaustion of nature, the dear sufferer gets a few hours 1827.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 155 sleep. Notwithstanding this afilicted state of the body, her mind is supported in patient resignation, and even cheerfulness, so that her chamber is a scene of deep instruction, affording a remarkable display of the power of divine grace to uphold the soul that de- pends upon it, in every hour of trial. llth, Sixth-day. This morning, visited the House of Refuge for the last time. II. M. read the history of the resui-rection of Lazarus, and a psalm. After some pause, supplication was offered on behalf of these poor wanderers, that they might be brought, in the depths of penitence and abasement, to behold their wretched state, and be given to see the hope set before them, through the gospel of our Lord and Saviour. \2th, Fii'st-day. Stayed from meeting, on account of the cold in my face. J. and W. R. supped with us. Before they went away, a feeling of interest on account of our friends at South- ampton, was renewedly felt, and I ventured to express my desire, that some who, I apprehend, have been divinely visited, of latter time especially, might be ■willing to bend to the sanctifying in- fluence of heavenly love and power. \^th, Second-day. After our morning reading, my dear aunt E. H. addressed us, in a beautiful manner. S. F. afterwards offered a solemn and affecting prayer on behalf of our dear relatives present, and for ourselves who are about to enter into covenant. It was a memorable opportunity, wherein our hearts were renewedly contrited under the feeling of heavenly good. This evening, the party from Wellington arrived. The expecta- tion of them, had been rather formidable to me, having: but little acqiiaintance with S.'s relations ; but when the first meeting w^as over, I felt able to take comfort in being privileged with the com- pany of these dear and valuable friends. After supper, in a short time of retirement, E. W. expressed a few sentences, and Sylvanus Fox spoke in thankful commemoration of the merciful dealings of divine Providence with some of our souls ; and we felt together, there was renewed cause to acknowledge the continued goodness of the heavenly Shepherd, who is thus pleased to feed and water and nourish his feeble flock. 1 rtth, Third-day. In the evening, before some of our visitors took leave, the gathering influence of heavenly good was permitted 1.56 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1827. to cover us, and a precious silence was felt in our social circle. My dear aunt spoke sweetly from the text, " Be still, and know that I am God." Our excellent friend, W. F. followed with the words, " The memory of the just is blessed," enlarging on the vivid recollection he that day had, of the pious example of our beloved, departed parents, and expressing his belief, that if it had been consistent with the will of Infinite Wisdom, to have con- tinued them in a state of mortality to the present hour, their unity would have been with us in the prosecution of the important step before us. I am quite unable to do justice to the comforting, strengthening nature of his communication, which was succeeded by a solemn prayer offered by S — s F. So closed this day, — a day in which we have indeed been favoured to partake together, as of the bread and wine of the kingdom ; and now, 0 my soul ! let every thing within thee, bow, in humble, reverent prostration, before the footstool of thy adorable, ever-merciful Lord. 1 6th, Fourth-day. Rose, under a degree of quiet feeling, yet full of apprehension as to the important engagements of this day ; but after our morning reading, which consisted of the ninety-ninth and one hundredth psalms, my mind was covered with a precious stillness, and the language of supplication arose to the one un- failing Helper of the poor and needy ; and I was favoured, after- wards, with that calming, sustaining influence, which enabled me to go through what was required at the meeting, with more firm- ness than I expected. Soon after the meeting was collected, our dear E. W. said a few words on the spirituality of the divine teaching. S — s F. then rose with the text, " Whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by Him." He enlarged, in an appro- priate and instructive manner, on the duty of ordering our daily conduct and conversation in the divine fear, and expressed his belief, that if this were more generally the concern of professing christians, the nations of the world would wonderfully flock to the standard of our Redeemer ; concluding with the text with which he began. After some interval, my dear friend and myself entered into the solemn covenant of marriage. W. F. afterwards stood up with the words, " When He givcth quietness, who then can make trouble," beautifully setting forth the inestimable value 1827.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA POX. 157 of this precious quiet, which results from a simple dependence on the divine power, and the support that is extended by the great Head of the church, to his little flock of faithful followers, under all their trials and alHictions. S — s F. concluded in solemn sup- plication, that the bread broken amongst us this morning, might be blessed of Him who alone can give the increase. 158 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1827. CHAPTER VII. 1827, 1828. Sketch of hev character — Bognor — Southampton — UtFculra — Wellington — Prospect of religious service — Journey into York- shire— Religious engagements there — Return home — Memoranda. No part of this volume would, perhaps, be more interesting or instructive, than a minute and accurate delineation of the character and habits of the subject of this Memoir, in the new sphere into which she was now introduced. Such a description, however, will not be attempted beyond a hasty glance at one or two points of general interest. Maria Fox was remarkable for the judicious arrange- ment and diligent occupation of her time. In this, she was actuated by religious principle, having a deep and abiding sense of the shortness and uncertainty of life, and of her accountability for the faithful discharge of her duties of every kind. This industry, combined with the faculty of executing with rapidity whatever she undertook, enabled her to accomplish far more, than with so delicate a frame would otherwise have been possible. Naturally disposed for intellectual pur- suits, she, nevertheless, did not neglect her domestic duties ; on the contrary, when she became the mistress of a family, they occupied their legitimate share of her attention; and she brought to bear on them, that industry, order and method, which prevented their absorbing an undue portion of her time and thoughts. In her, mental culture and domestic habits were hap- 1827.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. pily blended, affording a striking illustration of their entire compatibility, in a well regulated mind. Economy in her personal expenditure was another prominent feature in her character. She was ever reluctant to expend for her own convenience, and still more so for her gratification, that which might be applied to the relief of the distressed, or to the benefit of her fellow-creatures, regarding herself as a steward, responsible for every gift, temporal as well as spiritual. Fifth Month \%th, Sixth-day, Bognor. In looking back to the circumstances and events of the last few weeks, to the deeply mingled feelings that have successively possessed our minds, my soul is touched with an awful sense of my own unworthiness of the least of all the mercies and of all the truth, which have been shown to one of the weakest of the Lord's children. How often has my faithless heart been ready to sink within me, to faint like the people formerly, in their progress to the land of Canaan, because of the greatness of the way ; and yet how has the arm of divine sufficiency been revealed for my support, so that amidst discouragement, doubting and dismay, a degree of capacity has been secretly afforded, to lay hold on that hope which is declared to be an anchor of the soul, both sure and stedfast, and to cast myself on the everlasting mercies of a covenant-keeping God. Blessed and praised for ever be his adorable name ! He remaineth to be a strong habitation, whereto those who fear Him may continually resort ; and as they depend simply upon Him, He makes a way for them, where they can see no way, so that they are ready to exclaim with the psalmist, in the review of his gracious dealings, " What ailed thee, 0 thou sea ! that thou fleddest? thou Jordan, that thou wast driven back? ye moun- tains, that ye skipped like rams, and ye little hills, like lambs V \dth, Seventh-day. In the evening, my mind was renewedly made sensible of a precious quiet, not at oiir command, and which I esteem an unspeakable favour. To be, in any measure, made partakers of that invaluable legacy bequeathed by our great and 160 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1827. gracious Lord to his disciples, in those memorable words, " Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you ; not as the world giveth, give I unto you," is surely all the humbled soul can desire, and ought to fill the heart with gratitude and praise. 23}'d, FourtJi-day. A sweet walk this evening, by the sea. Sat down and watched the gently breaking waves ; thought and talked of our dear friends now met in the solemn assembly in London, and felt a desire that a measure of that heavenly virtue, which is often communicated, on these occasions, by the great Head of the church, might be extended to the most distant and scattered members, that all who are parts, however obscure, of the body, might feed on, and be refreshed by, the bread which cometh down from God out of heaven, might know something of that blessed fellowship with the Father, and with the Son, which constitutes the communion of saints. Sixth-day. Read, with my dear S., the memorandums of our journey on the continent, twelve months ago. The perusal revives, very strongly, some of the interesting scenes then passed through, and brings into lively remembrance, many dear friends to whom our hearts were united in christian love. May they be kept by the gTcat Shepherd of the sheep, from all that would harm them, and be preserved, amidst the many trials and temp- tations they have to encounter. Very many are their difficulties and discouragements, but all known to Him "that sitteth upon the circle of the earth," and without whose permission not a sparrow falls to the ground. Sixth Month 2nd, Seventh-day. In the afternoon, completed our preparations for quitting Bognor. When all was ready, we sat down a few minutes, to wait for the carriage, and under a sweet feeling of quiet, a short petition was vocally offered to the great Preserver of men. An hour's ride brought us to Chichester, where our kind friends received us cordially. Srd, First-day. At meeting, this morning, with the little company of Friends of this place. Several of those belonging to it, are from home, for whom, as well as for those present, a prayer arose in my heart, and, at length, found utterance. We arrived safely in the evening, at Southampton, where it was truly pleasant to meet my beloved sister. 1827.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 5th, Third-day. About ten, we were seated in the carriage- The final departure from our little dwelling endeared to us by many recollections, and from a place replete with interests, was attended by feelings of a nature not to be described, but I think a calming influence was secretly granted, and a degree of sustaining trust in the guidance of our Heavenly Father, who, I was enabled fully to believe, would supply all our need, according to the riches of his mercy, in Jesus Christ our Lord. We travelled by way of Blandford and Dorchester, to Bridport, and reached the hospitable dwelling of our dear friends at Bradpole, in the evening. fith, Fourth-day. Had a fine but cold ride, through a beauti- ful country. Passed through Charmouth, a small watering-place, situated amongst bold and picturesque scenery, to Honiton. Here, a short rest refreshed us, for the last stage of our journey, and a ride of about two hours, through a deeply wooded part of Devonshire, brought us to the raral village of Uifculm, em- bosomed in trees, where our temporary residence is to be, till tlie house at Welling-ton is ready for our reception. The approach to a spot that involves my first entrance on a new sphere of im- portant duties, and an introduction to a large circle of relatives, most of whom are strangers to me, induced a train of reflections and a conflict of feelings not easily expressed ; but when we entered our habitation, there seemed a precious quiet, under which we could thankfully and silently acknowledge that our cup runneth over. Qtli, Seventh- day. The feelings attendant on my change of circumstances, are of a peculiar cast ; and cannot fail, amidst all the causes of thankfulness that surround me, to induce many pensive musings. Great are my fears, lest I should not be able properly to meet my new duties, and the state of my health often furnishes matter of discouragement ; but whilst I write, I remember how unsuitable and unseasonable are these anxieties, seeing the end is known from the beginning, to that merciful God who has so wonderfully appeared for our help, and who, I humbly trust, will care for us through all. Whatever sorrows or suffer- ings are in his appointment, will not fail, if the fault be not our own, to yield the peaceable fruit of righteousness, so that, in all M 162 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1827. things, we are l)ound to adore Him, and to l)less his great and excellent name. \Qih, First-day. Went, this morning, to the little meeting of Spiceland, in the compass of which we now reside. It is about a mile and a half from UflFculm, in a retired situation, and is altogether a very pretty spot, surrounded by picturesque scenery and embosomed in trees. 1 Mh, Fifth-day. Oh ! for a more steady dependence on the invincible arm, which is often pleased to reveal itself in our weakness, poverty and humiliation. " Who am I, 0 Lord God ! and what is my house that Thou hast brought me hitherto ?" may well be the language of my soul, and whilst a review can be taken of those steps by which I have been led thus far on the journey of life, and cared for in so remarkable a manner, sui'ely it is little short of criminal to indulge any other sentiment than that of humble, reverential gratitude, or to doixbt the continuance of the Lord's m^cies to the very end. 15^/;, Sixth-day. In the afternoon, om* brother and sister S., with then* two eldest childi'en, called. It was pleasant to welcome them, though the feeling, that it was a parting visit, preparatory to their setting out on their long journey, gave a pensive tone to our minds. In a time of retirement, S. addressed us in a beautiful manner, alluding to the many conflicts that are the portion of those, who are made, in some degree, willing to follow a crucified Lord. M. made a short, but sweet addition, and I hope our hearts were thankful for the opportunity, in which we were enabled renewedly to feel that there is comfort in love, that there is fel- lowship in the Spirit. How unwilling we are to go down into suffering ! how nature shrinks from that baptism unto death, which must be ao-ain and ao'ain siibmitted to, if we would know the life of Jesus to be made manifest in us ! When shall we be fully bowed to the power of the cross, in every way in which we may be called on to bear it ? When shall we come to that ex- perience spoken of by the great apostle, who said, " I have learned in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content — " I am in- structed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need." " I can do all things," does he not add, " through Chiist, which strengiheneth me." Here then, is the centre of 1827.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. the christian's strength. This adorable Redeemer is the object of his faith, the source of his love, the crown of his hope He is " the way, the truth, and the life," and the soul that would be eternally glorified with Him, must be engrafted into Him, must abide in Him, as the branch abidetli in the vine, — must endure all the pruning of the heavenly Husbandman, that it may be cleared of every superfluous, unprofitable shoot, and become increasingly fruitful to his praise. Oh ! for a willingness to die every death, to pass through every baptism that may be appointed me, that so there may be a gradual and secret increase with the increase of God, that a capacity may be experienced, to unite in the highest language of men on earth, or angels in heaven, " Thy will be done." 21st, Fijth-day. After breakfast, we read the last chapter of Matthew, ending with those ever-memorable words of our blessed Lord, " Lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world." 0 heart-cheering assurance ! What then need his dis- cijiles fear, so long as they keep close to their Saviour ? " Who is he that will harm you, if ye be followers of that which is good ?" The gates of hell will never be permitted to prevail against the church that is built on the one eternal, immovable rock. What is too much to suffer for the glorious privilege of being one of her living members ? May we seek this above all, and leave every thing regarding this life to the direction of our Heavenly Father, who, in his abundant bounty, showers down upon us innumerable blessings, and administers no trials, but such as He sees necessary for us. 24^A, First-day. At meeting this morning, I felt very destitute of all good, till near the conclusion, when I was led to reflect on the power and efiicacy of living faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, who is able to heal all our spiritual diseases and to cure all our infirmities. A desire was raised in my heart, and vocally expressed, that we might be encouraged to repair to this " foun- tain opened to the house of David, and to the inhabitants of Jerusalem." 25th, Second-day. In the afternoon, went to a cottage at some distance, to see a poor woman. The road through winding lanes, beautifully shaded with foliage. Found her in the midst of M 2 MEMOIRS or MARIA FOX. [1827. poverty, apparently uncomplaining, and very thankful for the little kindnesses shown her. Seventh Month Mh, Fourth-day. My spirits greatly overcome, with the prospect of entering on my new allotment at Wellington. We went to meeting at Spiceland, and from thence came to our own home. I entered it, with feelings not to he described. Such a view of the mixed cup of life was present to my mind, as, for a time, almost overpowered me. A flood of tears relieved me ; and the calming influence of that which is not at our command, was mercifully afibrded. 5th, Fifth-day. After our morning reading, I ventured to bend the knee, and pour forth my desires for ourselves and our household, in prayer to that gracious God, who only can bless us, and enable us to walk acceptably before Him, through the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. lOth, Third-day. A pleasant ride to Taunton, to attend our Monthly Meeting. Found it larger than I had expected to see it. Soon after we sat down, a prayer seemed to arise in my heart, for the Lord's spiritual church everywhere, for " all that in evei^ place, call upon the name of Jesus Christ our Lord but in an act so solemn, feared to move, not knowing but that it might more properly devolve on some other individual. Towards the close, however, finding the exercise continued with me, I ventured to approach the sacred footsool. Wth, Fourth-day. Rose this morning, with a feeling of concern, that w^e may be favoured to know, in all things, what is the divine will concerning us. Oh ! for a patient abiding under all, until He, who is pleased at times to bring the blind by a way they know not, shall see meet to reveal Himself more fully to our souls, and to show us the path in which He would have us to go. May I be enabled to be, in the best sense, a sympathizing help- meet to my dear companion ! Third-day. The desire of my soul at present is, that we may seek, in all things, to be instructed, that we may bow in reverent submission to Him who is the God of our lives, and pray to be taught of Him what is his holy will concerning us. " My soul, wait thou only upon God, for my expectation is from Him," He knoweth all our wants, all our infirmities, all our hidden con- 1827.J MEMOIRS 01' MARIA KUX. 165 flicts, and can pour iu, whenever He sees meet, the oil and wine of his kingdom, can strengthen, comfort, heal us, and enable us to say, with humble gratitude and in a degTee of holy confidence, " I know that my Redeemer liveth." Called to take leave of S. and M., who set out, to-morrow, on their way to Scotland. We cannot doubt but they will be supported and their little flock cared for, by the great and good Shepherd, who, when He putteth forth his own sheep, goetli before them. 27i/i, Sixth-day. Attended the Bible Meeting ; where Andrew Brandram gave much interesting information on the present state of the Society's great objects, at home and abroad. On the whole, a nice meeting. Sth Month bth, First-day. At meeting, which was silent till near the close, when I ventured to olFer a petition that had been raised in my heart earlier ; but I feared to move, lest it should not be enough in the constraining necessity. In the after- noon, we read some letters, which recalled, in a lively manner, past thoughts and feelings, and reminded us forcibly, how much we owe to oui' all-bountiful Preserver and Benefactor, from whom all good Cometh. dth, Fifth-day. Spent some time with a poor woman, in a state of great suffering. Oh ! how much have we to be thankful for, who are surrounded with so many comforts and advantages, and when any trial of this kind comes, find it accompanied by every alleviation. Wth, Seventh-day. Suffered my mind to be too much dis- turbed by some domestic perplexity. Oh ! when shall I l^rn to hold the trifling occm'rences of life in their proper place, and at- tain that even, placid disposition, so desirable and beneficial to the mind ? This week, we have several interesting letters from our distant relations. One from my aunt, B. H., with an extract from her brother, Daniel Wheeler's. He seems still bound to his exiled situation, in Russia, and wi'ites as if encompassed with trials, yet having strong faith in that God who has wonderfully delivered him out of many troubles. \2th, First-day. Oh ! for an increased disposition to cast all care on One who careth abundantly for his children, and never forsakes them in the hour of need, if their faith and hope MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1827. remain stedfast in Him. Felt some uneasiness in the evening, from an apprehension that I had, in the course of the day, given way to a degree of levity, though my state spiritually, is not such as to occasion elevation ; on the contrary, one of deep poverty, if it be right so to designate feelings, that, I fear, proceed chiefly from insensibility or unwatchfulness. May it be my daily prayer, to have a heart established in divine grace, and so, be enabled to keep hold, in all seasons, of the anchor that is sure and stedfast ; that in times of trial, there may be a capacity to trust and not be afraid, because the Lord is our helper. He has, indeed, con- descended remarkably to sustain through a variety of circum- stances, and has proved Himself, " a strong hold in the day of trouble." Oh ! saith my soul, may we ever cleave unto Him, and seek to have the will tmly surrendered, — oiFered up, as a complete bm-nt-olfering, upon his holy altar ; for the Lord is "a great King above all gods," and is everlastingly worthy of adoration and praise. I9th, First-da^. Had an interesting conversation with my dear S. F., on a subject that has long occupied my serious attention, but which I have feared to mention to any one, because the work of the ministry is so awful, and the nature of such engagements so weighty, that I feel greatly afraid of mistaking a feeling of natural interest, for a divine call, and so, going beyond the requiring. Besides this, many circumstances render a distant journey, more than usually difficult and formidable, but I desire to attend to the ancient command, to "stand still," waiting for the unfoldings of the light that maketh manifest ; knowing that our compassionate Lord does not require anything of his people. He will not enable them to perform, as they are wdlling, in simple faith, to fuUuw his holy leadings. 29ih, Fourth-day . I know not whether my dear husband may yet feel himself called to unite in the service that seems to open in the North ; but the desire of my heart is, that he may be permitted to see clearly what is the divine will. Went to meeting, and after a time of doubt and hesitation, ventured to pour forth a petition, for the increase of our faith, and for more capacity to follow, in simplicity, the heavenly Leader. Ninth Month 2nd, First-day. Attended the meeting, at 1827.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 167 Taunton, where I sat in great poverty and emptiness, till near the close, when my mind was unexpectedly turned to consider the deep instruction conveyed in the parable of the talents, and there seemed a little opening to communicate something of what was felt. 1th, Sixth-day. The anticipation of laying before our next Monthly Meeting, a prospect of some religious service in York- shii-e, is formidable, but I desire to be resigned to best ordering, feeling that I have indeed abundant causes for gratitude, and have need to adopt the inquiry, " What shall I render unto the Lord for all his benefits ! " Sth, Seventh-day . A day rather crowded with business, chiefly of the trifling kind, and my mind was kept in more hurry than is profitable, or favom-able to a state of inward quiet, which I desire increasingly to seek after. Wth, Third-day. Monthly Meeting, at which I was enabled, in a few words, to mention my prospect of \-isiting the meetings constituting the Monthly Meeting of Brighouse, in Yorkshire, — the families at Bradford, and attending; a few meeting's, in going; and returning; intimating my desire that the subject might obtain the weighty consideration of my friends. Soon after this, my dear sister was engaged in a short and solemn supplication for divine aid and guidance. A time of precious quiet succeeded this offering, and several friends expressed their unity with the concern. On the whole, I trust, it was a season to which we may recur with humble gratitude, and acknowledge the goodness and mercy of the great Shepherd, who is pleased to make way often- times, where we see no way. \ath, Seventh-day. The prayer of my heart is, to be enabled to sympathize with my dear companion, and to be made in every way, as much of a comfort and help to him, as my feeble nature will allow ; but above all, that the Lord may be pleased to strengthen him for all the trials that may attend him. My soul is humbled within me, as I write, under a sense of the innumerable mercies we have received ; and the remembrance of the gracious dealings of divine providence with us both, in days that are past, seems to encourage us still to lay hold on the shield of faith, and to trust the goodness and mercy that have been so often displayed for our preservation. 168 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1827. 19^^, Fourth-day . My sister intends leaving us, on Sixth- day, for Southampton. I am solicitous on her account, knowing she will have a variety of feelings to encounter there, as well as in going to the ]\Ionthly Meeting, at Fordingbridge, to lay before her friends, the prospect of a journey into Yorkshii-e; but I trust, He who has hitherto been her stay, will be near to sustain her, and enable her to commit all to his g-uidance and good keeping. To H. M. Wellington, Ninth Month 25th, 1827. My very precious Sister, I have now the great comfort of my dear Samuel's return, bringing me the report of your safe journey. I am traly glad, thou hadst thy brother's company and kind care, and not a little rejoiced, thou mayst conclude, at his return to his stripped habi- tation, for such it did indeed feel, amidst all its comforts, after the departure of two so tenderly loved. Be assured, we shall tliink and talk of thee with deep interest : and I humbly trust, He who has seen meet for a time to separate our threefold cord, will mercifully preserve its several parts, under their various and dis- tinct as well as mutual exercises and conflicts, and, in his own time, bind it toa;ether ao-ain, to our great comfort and strength. Yes, my precious sister ! I feel that amidst all the baptisms which they must expect, who are seeking to follow a crucified Lord, there is abundant cause, humbly and reverently to bless his holy name, and to take, with thankful acquiescence, every cup by Him administered, because his mercy endureth for ever, and his faithfulness from generation to generation. I think I feel some renewed ability, to commit my dearest earthly treasures with myself, into his good keeping, and to 1)elieve that He will con- tinue to be our rock and our refiige, and our hiding place fi'om every storm, as we are vrilling faithfully to follow and unreservedly to trust Him ; so that though the waves be, at times, permitted to rise high, yet shall they not prevail, nor pass over the bound appointed by infinite wisdom Believe me, most tenderly thine, Maria S. Fox. 1827.] MEMOIRS OF MAKIA FoX. 169 Ninth Month 28th, Sixth-day. Went in the evening, to our newly established reading meeting. Work for the poor, was laid upon the table, which furnished useful employment to the female part of the company. The book selected was " Bates on the Doc- trines and Practices of Friends and an interesting narrative in manuscript was afterwards read. It was altogether, an agreeable evening, and I hope a good beginning. Both, First-day. Went to meeting, and was favoured to feel a degree of precious quiet, wherein the language of thanksgiving arose in my heart. Tenth Month 1st, Second-day. Entering on the last week of my remaining at home for the present, brings into near view the visit to Friends of Brighouse Monthly Meeting, and introduces the mind into a variety of feelings, but I may thankfully acknowledge the prevailing one to be, a sustaining trust in God. Qth, Third-day. Monthly Meeting at Bridgewater. A little renewed ability was afforded, to encourage the living members of the church, to a faithful discharge of their several portions of labour, and to a continued trust in the sufficiency of that God, who once made the sling and stone of a simple shepherd prevail against an armed champion. At the close, my S. F. and I took the mail for Bristol, where we were kindly received by oui" friends, T. and S. Bigg, and were soon joined by my dear sister, to our great comfort. 10#A, Fourth-day . Reached Worcester in the afternoon, and made our abode at the house of T. Pumphrey. He and his wife were very kind to us, and we found it a comfortable resting-place. Wth, Fifth-day. Came this morning to Evesham, where, at the Monthly Meeting, we met a number of friends. It was a time of some precious feeling, and strength was afforded to speak the word of consolation to such as might be under depression, — the faint and weaiy pilgrims Zion-ward. Proceeded afterwards to Birmingham. Yltli, Sixth-day. Set off this morning for Derby, my dear husband accompanying us. He had thought of leaving us at Birmingham, but there seemed no opening for doing so, satisfac- torily to himself. R. Longden and his wife entertained us with true hospitality, though entire strangers. 170 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1827. ISt/i, Seventh-day. Sat with the little company of Friends here ; and were permitted to feel sympathy Adth the afflicted and moui'nful. It seemed also to be given l^s to warn some, of the danger of resting in our own works, and to direct the attention of such to the way of salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ. In the afternoon, we came on to Sheffield ; low and poor, but in degree sustained in dependence on the divine arm. 14^/i, First-da^/. Attended the morning meeting, under feel- ings of depression not to be set forth. My beloved sister was enabled to impart the word of consolation to the Lord's poor and afflicted people, as well as to proclaim the teiTors of his law, to the rebellious and disobedient. It was much my lot to suffer in silence, under a sense of the oppressed state of the chuixh, but towards the close, there seemed a little ability to speak a few words of encouragement to the mourners. The afternoon meeting was held in silence. 'kotli. Second-day . After breakfast, my S. F. expressed his thankfulness that we had been thus far helped on our way ; my sister was then engaged in supplication, and veiy soon afterwards, we separated, my husband taking the coach for Leicester, and we proceeded to Bradford. Found ou^rselves under the roof of our dear aunt, B. H., who gave us the welcome so cheering to the drooping pilgrim ; but our minds were introduced into reasonings, on hearing that herself and B. Seebohm had been engaged in a family visit here, which indeed they had barely completed. For a time, I was ready to conclude, we were mistaken in apprehending om-selves called to this service, but in the endeavour to settle into a state of resignation, we were favoured with a sustaining calm. 17^/«, Fourth-day. Attended the meeting under feelings of poverty and emptiness, but after some time of silence, dear B. S. spoke in a striking manner ; alluded to the repeated proofs afforded of the care extended by the great Head of the church to his people, and encouraged the poor messengers to trust in the Lord. It was comforting and strengthening to us. At the close of the meeting, our certificates were read, and arrangements made for the visits, which seem likely to be more numerous than we had anticipated. \Qth, Sixth-day. Our drooping minds are almost ready, at 1827.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 171 times, to give out, but at others, the covering of heavenly love is afresh extended, and we get a little renewed in foith and hope. 2lst, First-day. Meeting at Halifax. My dear sister was streng-thened to express a desire that we might gather to the one great Source of all good, which seemed to have a solemnizing eifect upon the meeting. Some addition was made, on the necessity of looking well to our standing. In the afternoon, sat in silence, till near the close, when my sister was engaged in the ministry, and I ventured to bend the knee and petition for this part of the vineyard. 24th, Fourth-day. Went this morning to Brighouse meeting. We were, I think, favoured with a degree of precious feeling, and some ability was afforded, to set forth the way of salvation through Jesus Christ, and to encourage all to faithfulness. 2.5th, Fifth-day. At meeting at Huddersfield, where a small company of Friends were assembled. We sat in the very depths of poverty, and under a pressure not to be set forth, but were at length enabled to salute a small remnant of the Lord's poor, and to proclaim the gospel warning to the transgTcssors. Ketui'ned in the afternoon, to Bradford. 2'Sth, First-day. Went to meeting, where, after a considerable time of silence, I felt constrained to express my sympathy with a living remnant in this place, who may have heavy burdens to bear, and to endeavour to encourage them still to trust in the Lord their God ; after which, other states in the meeting were addressed. B. S. concluded in a solemn and impressive prayer. We have abundant cause to be thankful to the Lord, who carries us along from day to day, and sustains us under a baptism unto death, which no words can fully describe. Oh ! that we may abide in faith and patience, to the end of this humiliating service ! 30^A, Third-day. Taken ill with an attack of spasms, to which I have long been subject, on taking cold. This has, of course, suspended our work for the present. Our faith is proved, but we are short-sighted creatures, and know not the desigTi of these things, therefore patience and resignation are our duties. We have, indeed, great cause, not only to seek after these, but to be filled with gratitude and thankfulness to our compassionate Lord and Master, who cares tenderly for his unworthy servants. We have every comfort under the roof of truly kind friends, and 172 jMEMOIRS of MARIA FoX. [1827. the additional privilege of J. Blakey's medical skill, so that we have thought it a favour to be their guests at this time. Eleventh Month \st. Fifth-day. Had a comfortable, quiet ride to Leeds ; though under feelings of great weakness, mental and bodily. 2nc?, Sixth-day. Went to this large Monthly ]\Ieeting of Brighouse. After a considerable time of silence, my dear sister offered a vocal prayer, for the increase and enlargement of the Redeemer's kingdom. I was then enabled to cast off what had arisen in my mind, respecting the state of the true church on earth, both as to the stability and secui-ity she enjoys under the protection of her glorious Head, and also as to the afflic- tions, suffexings and persecutions, she is called on to endure, in conformity with his holy example ; and the encouragement there is for his dependent people to put on streng-th in his name. J. Pease afterwards spoke instructively, enforcing the necessity of all attending to their own gifts, and endeavouring to walk in the path prescribed for them. 4ith, First-day. Attended Leeds meeting, where, I trust, we may thankfully acknowledge, help was afforded, and the gospel call went forth. Qth, Third-day. The work in the families seems now to be drawing near a close, and we can, with grateful hearts, acknow- ledge, that hitherto we have been helped, from visit to visit, beyond what we had dared to expect, though often under feelings of our own weakness and poverty, not to be desciibed in words. Oh ! the baptisms of spirit that are needful for those, who are, at times, in unutterable condescension, entrusted with the gospel message, and who are called to enter, as capacity may be given, into sympathy with a great variety of states. These need the humbling process to be often repeated. 8th, Fifth -day. My dear husband came to us last evening. I hope my feelings are those of humble gratitude, that we are permitted to meet again. Went to the meeting at Gildersome. It was a low time, but after suffering, as under the chilly hand of death, for the greater part of the meeting, some ability was afforded, to set forth the necessity of our knowing the Lord Jesus to be to us, " the resurrection and the life." n.th, First-day. Went to meeting, at Bradford, under feelings 1827.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 173 of much bodily and mental inability. I was, however, enabled to address some visited minds, who may be under the preparing hand, for service in the church, desiring they might be brought into a state of true resignation, and enabled sincerely to adopt the language, " Thy will be done." My sister was afterwards engaged in siipplication, and B. S. offered up a feeling petition, on behalf of the poor, feeble pilgrims, who had been engaged amongst them. At the close of the meeting, my dear husband expressed his grateful sense of the kindness and care of our friends, so abundantly shown towards us, and we separated under a pre- ciously uniting feeling, which, I trust, some of us shall long re- member with gratitude. Accordino- to the social habits of this part of the country, a number of friends came to tea. Before we parted, the extension of divine love was mercifully permitted, and supplication was offered on behalf of those present, and for this portion of the heritage. Our hearts were made thankful for this renewed favour, which seemed like a parting seal to the visit in this meeting. '12th, Second-day. Left Bradford, and came as far as Shef- field, under a quiet, peaceful feeling. The idea of setting our faces homeward, veiy comforting. \Zth, Third-day. Proceeded to Chesterfield, and sat with the little company of Friends there. 14^A, Fourth-day. Attended the meeting at Mansfield, where some fresh ability was mercifully gi-antcd, to address the word of encouragement to the sincere-hearted, and to preach the way of life and salvation to those who are stumbling at the cross of Christ, especially dwelling on the great work of man's redemption, as wrought by our holy Redeemer. There was an individual pre sent, who, we afterwards found, had resigned his membership in our Society, and joined the Unitarians. Called, in the afternoon, on a friend, who has been confined for a great length of time, by distressing illness. We found her reclining on a bed, on which she had not been able to lie down for many months, being often obliged to pass whole nights in a standing position, supporting herself by the arms upon a high table ; but, notMithstanding this great suffering, there appeared to be a degree of cheerful resigna- tion to her trials. MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1827. loth, Fifth-day. Went to Nottingham. The meeting, a low, exercising time, in which there seemed to be something like going " down to the bottoms of the mountains," and knowing " the earth mth. her bars " to be round about. Before the close, ability was afforded, to addi'ess those who are preserved alive in spirit, but there did not seem power to rise above the weight that pressed down our minds. 16th, Sixth-day. Set out for Loughborough, to attend a meet- ing with the few Friends in that place. We met a solitary, little company there, some of whom seemed glad to receive the poor messengers. 18th, First-day. At Leicester meeting, where we were en- abled to salute our friends in the renewal of gospel love and solicitude, having felt attracted to them before leaving oui" own habitation. Towards the conclusion of the afternoon meeting, we were permitted to feel the covering of the spirit of suppli- cation, under which a petition was offered for a living remnant in this place. 21st, Fourth-day. Came from Bristol to our comfortable habitation, and feel it an unspeakable favour to be once more safely housed, especially as the weather has become cold, and my frame feels the effect of it. Several of our relations called in the evening, to welcome us home. 25th, First-day. Rose this morning, better, as to health, than for some time past, and feeling a degxee of peaceful calm, the worn down body and mind being a little recruited by rest. Attended both meetings, wliich were held in silence ; some of us felt, I believe, that the sackcloth of spiritual poverty was our covering, though a fear attended me, that it was not, as regarded myself, altogether of that kind which has a blessing annexed to it ; being no doubt occasioned, at least in degree, by a want of proper watchfulness, and of a more lively exercise of spirit. But I think I was enabled to desire an increase of these, and was led to look at the preciousness of knowing the heart to be filled with divine love. Oh ! that this may be increasingly the object of my fervent prayer, and that meek and quiet spirit be sought after, which, the apostle tells us, " is in the sight of (rod, of great price." 1827.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 175 It is cause fur humble thankfulness, to be safely restored to the quiet rest and comforts of our own fire-side, and on taking a retrospective view of the late engagement, I am ready to exclaim, " What hath God wrought ! " Though often suffered to feel an almost overwhelming sense of our own weakness, unprofitable- ness and infirmities, we have been enabled, from time to time, to set up an Ebenezer, and say, " Hitherto hath the Lord helped us," and, in unutterable condescension, strengthened to testify of his goodness, to praise Him in the depths, and acknowledge that liis mercy endureth for ever. And now, that my feelings are of a very mingled nature, and the settling down at home, cannot fail to bring into nearer view, an expected hour of trial, when life may be put as into the balance, I desire to seek after that state of resignation, in which only we can breathe the language, " Thy will be done," and to commit myself, body, soul and spirit, to the care and keeping of a gracious and compassionate God, re- membering that the balance is held by the hand of unerring wisdom, and that whatever be the permitted portion, and whether the issue be in life or in death, the Judge of all the earth will do right. Let me remember, that even as regards the present life, our omnipotent and merciful Saviour can do for us all that is needful, can be made, under all circumstances, our strength and our stay, so that, in humble reliance on his care so often displayed towards his unworthy children, we may thankfully and confidingly say, " The Lord is my Shepherd." Pray, then, O my soul ! that thou mayst be enabled to put on the breast- plate of faith and love, and to take for an helmet the hope of salvation, trusting in Him who hath promised, that He will be strength in weakness to his dependent children. He num- bereth the very hairs of our head, and sufiereth not even a sparrow to fall, unnoticed, to the ground ; but faith is not at our command, it must be sought, with earnest prayer, of Him who is the gracious author and finisher of it. 28^A, Fourilh-day . At our week-day meeting, this morning, where my mind was secretly led to commemorate the goodness and mercy of the Lord to his poor, unworthy servants, in that it hath pleased Him, in unutterable condescension, to fulfil to them his ancient promise, " Thy life will I give unto thee, for a prey 176 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1827. in all places, whither thou gocst and though the hidden life may have been sustained by means often almost imperceptible, and at times incomprehensible to the natural mind, still, the humbled soul can account it a favour, if permitted, in any small degree, to realize the truth, that " man doth not live by bread only, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of the Lord, doth man live." A little was spoken, towards the close of the meeting, expressive of a desire that faith and patience might have their perfect work, under all the humiliation that may be needful for the trial of them. Twelfth Month 9th, First-day. Spent an interesting evening altogether, by oui- own fire-side, and read some letters that referred to the period when my mouth was first opened in the ministry. They recalled a variety of feelings then permitted to press on my often conflicted mind, and the remembrance of some close trials as well as mercies and unmerited consolations granted by our compassionate Heavenly Father, which ought never to be for- gotten. Oh ! that they may be held in grateful recollection, and the language be afresh raised. " What shall I render unto the Lord for all his benefits towards me." 10th, Second-day. After getting a little overdone with bodily exertion, I was betrayed, for want of greater watchfulness, into a degree of peevishness and irritability which occasioned me snifering afterwards. Oh ! for the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit ! that serene composure produced by a continual turning to the blessed centre of all good ; that so, I might not be moved by any of the little perplexities that must be expected to attend the daily path. Wth, Third-day. Went to our Monthly Meeting at Taunton, where I felt constrained to offer the language of encouragement to some under the ministration of affliction, and to dwell on the necessity of our seeking to become more conformed to the example of our holy Redeemer, that we might know more of the fellow- ship of his sufferings, and of a willingness to drink the cup which may be given us by our Heavenly Father, with filial submission. My certificate for the visit in Yorkshire was returned. My sister added her concurrent testimony to what was expressed, and my dear husband also commemorated the sufficiency of the help that 1828.J MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 177 had been afforded during the late engagement. It was a time wherein we were enabled, under a feeling of gTeat weakness and poverty, renewedly to set up an Ebenezer ; and for this my soul desires to bow low, in reverent thankfulness, at the footstool of the Lord Almighty. 1 6th, First-day. A comfortable, quiet day in our peaceful home. Attended the two meetings, wliich were both held in silence. 22nd, Seventh-day. Much occupied at home, and having tired myself more than it was wise to do, the evening found me low and peevish. Went to bed much dissatisfied with myself, from an apprehension I had given Avay to a fretful temper, whilst the many comforts with which I am surrounded, ought rather to fill me with gratitude and praise. 1828. First Month 1st, Third-day. Alas ! how little suited to the solemn recollections of the season, have been my feelings this day ! I rose very poorly, and with my mind full of trivial cares and vexations, and though my spirits have been all the day, in a low key, still it has not been that profitable sadness, whereby, Solomon tells us, the heart is made better. What a copious theme for grateful admiration and praise is supplied, in the re- trospect of the year that is passed away, — a year fruitfiil of events, marked by pro\ddential mercies and preservations, and crowned with rich blessings ! I almost shudder at the thought of the insensible frame in which my heart has Avitnessed its close, and entered on a new one, that presents a prospective view of no less interest and importance. 8th, Third-day. Our Monthly Meeting at Taunton. My place seems to be at home, where I hope to seek after a quiet waiting on the Lord, the one source of good, everywhere present to the humbled soul ; but my state for some time past, has too much resembled that of the barren heath, which knoweth not when good cometh ; or the sandy desert, which, though it drinks the shower from heaven, renders no return of fruitfulness to the great and bounteous Giver. lO^A, Fifth-day Had the great pleasure and comfort of welcoming our beloved friend W. P. We have long looked for- ward vaih. hope, to a visit from this truly sympathizing and inestimable friend, and have, at length, the satisfaction of enter- taining under our roof, one who took a lively interest in every circumstance relating to our union and settlement. N 178 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1828. ^.otk, First-day. Our meeting this moining was silent for a very considerable time ; but we had, before the close, a deeply instmctive and weighty communication from W. F. 14;th, Second-da/)/. After our morning reading, we were favoured with a precious feeling, and the tribute of thanksgiving and praise for the many blessings bestowed on us, was raised in my heart, and I ventured to give utterance to it on the bended knee. Om* valued friend afterwards addressed us in a beautiful and truly encouraging manner, beginning with the text, " There remaineth therefore, a rest to the people of God." 2Brd, Fourth-day. Much affected by reading the " Suttees' Cry to Britain," a small pamphlet lately published by a mis- sionaiy, for some years resident in India. It is an appeal to Britain, on behalf of the numerous and feeble victims of a bar- barous superstition, annually immolated on the funeral pile, with their deceased husbands. Oh ! that the hearts of professing christians, calling themselves followers of a most merciful and compassionate Saviour, were more generally alive to these things, that we, the highly-favoured inhabitants of this happy, this en- lightened country, were but thoughtful of those, who thus sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, and who seem as the prey of the devourer, in every possible sense. Surely, we ought to bear them on our hearts before that God who heareth prayer, and who has declared, that " for the oppression of the poor, for the sighing of the needy. He will arise." Second Month \st, Fifth-day. A multitude of thoughts and reflections crowd on my mind, and not a few fears present them- selves. Oh ! that I may seek continually to hide myself in the secret pavilion, where true peace and safety only are to be found, that so my faith may be daily renewed in the great Preserver of men, — in Him, whose tender mercies are over all his works. 1828.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA VOX. 179 CHAPTER VIII. 1828, 1829. Birth of a son— Memoranda — Residence on the Devon- shire coast — Visit to famOies of her own Montlily Meeting — Interment of P. H. Gurney — Quarterly Meeting — S. F.'s absence on the con- tinent— Yearly Meeting — Quarterly Meeting. We now come to that important period of her life, at which Maria Fox became a mother ; but as some description of her character, in this new and interesting relation, will be given in a subsequent part of the Memoir, it will not be needful to advert to it in this place. Second Month l-ith, Fifth-day. Woke this morning in a calm state of mind. My dearest S. P. read me part of the eigh- teenth psalm, and we had a sweet time of stillness together, wherein, I believe, the tribute of thanksgiving secretly ascended from our overflowing hearts. In the evening, my three tenderly assiduous companions sat down in my room, when we read the hymn in the Olney collection, beginning, " Be still, my heart, these anxious cares, To thee, are burdens, thorns and snares," and also a psalm. A time of solemn and heavenly quiet suc- ceeded, when the canopy of divine goodness was mercifully spread over us. I felt bound, though in great weakness, to offer a vocal thanksgiving to that gi-acious and almighty God, who had brought us safely through deep waters, and divided that sea before us, whose waves roared. My beloved husband knelt down im- mediately after, and, to my unspeakable comfort, poured forth the voice of praise, and the language of supplication for all our little company and for the precious babe committed to our trust. 15^A, Sixth-day. When I look back on the events of the past week, what shall I say ? May I not humbly exclaim, with Mary, N 2 180 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1828. " My soul doth magnify the Lord, and my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour." " His mercy is on them that fear Him, from generation to generation." 1 7th, First-dai/. Whilst my kind attendants were at meeting this morning, my mind was led to adore the mercy of the Lord Jehovah, and to praise his great and ever worthy name, in a review of his wonderful dealings with me, a poor, weak, unworthy creature, surely one of the lowest in his family. My feelings of mental as well as bodily weakness, can be only fully comprehended by Him, who perfectly knoweth our frame and understandeth the extent of our frailty and infinnities. He doth not forsake those who put their trust in Him ; — He gives them, at seasons, tears to drink in great measure, till they are ready to say, in the prophetic words of the psalmist, " I have eaten ashes like bread, and mingled my drink with weeping ;" yet is He graciously pleased to reveal Himself, from time to time, as their stay and their shield, enabling them reverently and thankfully to believe, that the sup- port which has hitherto been so mercifully extended, will be con- tinued to the end, as well as to acknowledge, in deep prostration of soul, that where tribulation abounded, consolation did at times still more abound, through the tender mercy of Him, who. Himself, " hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows." " My soul, wait thou only upon God, for my expectation is from Him." 19^//, Third-day, Mercifully permitted, during the morning watch, to draw near to the place where the soul can prostrate itself before the footstool of her God and Father ; and felt a sweet serenity cover my spirit, whilst desiring to commit my all into the divine disposal. 22ra£?, Sixth-day. I was silently led to meditate on the uni- versality of that love, which, when it is shed abroad in the heart, expands and enlai'ges it, until it can comprehend the whole human family in its wide embrace, — knowing no limits to its efforts of benevolence, whilst any ability remains. That beautiful parable was forcibly brought to my remembrance, wherein our blessed Lord strikingly illustrates his second great commandment, and replies to the inquiry of the lawyer, " Who is my neigh- bour ?" and a fervent prayer Avas raised in my soul, to be brought more and more into the spirit of it. With regard to ourselves, 1828.] MEMOIRS UF MARIA FOX. 181 I greatly desire to order that small part of our affairs which comes under my immediate management, with discretion ; and to he enabled to fill up, with propriety, my duties to my beloved hus- band and to society at large ; to guard carefully against the in- troduction of any unnecessary expenditure, that may tend, in the smallest degi-ee, to add to the exertions of my dear S. in the pursuit of business, and, at the same time, to be found ready " to do good and to communicate," remembering that " -with such sacrifices God is well pleased," and that He who spake as never man spake, hath pronounced it " more blessed to give than to receive." Third Month IGth, First-dai/. This morning, I have been to meeting, after an absence of nearly seven weeks. Some feeling of gratitude to the great Preserver was raised in my heart, and th6 language of thanksgiving vocally offered. yO/A, First-dai/. After our evening reading, I felt it best to give way to the feeling of interest excited on account of our ser- vants, and to address to each of them counsel and encouragement to seek after the only sure support and preservation. This is the anniversary of my birth-day, and ought to be a day of especial humiliation, when I consider how much time has been lost in the years that have passed away. Fourth Month 6th, First-day. My mind is in a most sad state of disqualification for anything good, full of anxieties and fears, and but little capacity, if any at all, to look to the one Source of help. Oh ! that we may be enabled, constantly, fer- vently, to implore the counsel and guidance of Him who can give deliverance to his people, can open the prison to them that are bound, and say to those who sit in darkness, " Show yourselves." 7th, Second-day. The Monthly Meeting of Ministers and Elders. After the business was concluded, I felt most easy to express a few words of encouragement to the afflicted,— those who were going mournfully, " because of the oppression of the enemy." Oh ! that these may be enabled to put on a little strength in the name of the Lord, and to believe fully in his power as well as in his mercy. First-dai/. In the evening meeting, expressed a few words on the happy state of the departed spirits, redeemed by the 182 MEMOIRS or MARIA FOX. [1828. blood of Christ, and sanctified through the operation of his Spirit ; encouraging to a more frequent reflection on this subject, as a stimulus to look beyond the temptations and trials of time. Fifth Month 10th, Seventh-day. My spirits have been so much depressed, during the last ten days, and my time so fully occupied, that there has been little leisure and less inclination, to record anything ; and now what can I say ? To me belongeth confusion of face, in that so small returns of gratitude and praise, are rendered to the great and bounteous Giver of the many bless- ings showered on my unworthy head. But when the clouds arise and the storms beat, in a spiritual sense, how difficult is it to keep hold of the grain of faith that has been mercifully imparted ! llth, First-day. I Avas much tried, in the morning meeting, \vith an unprofitable, unsettled mind ; but towards the close, S — s spoke on the state of the christian believer, setting forth his streng-th, consolation and rejoicing in his holy Head, Christ Jesus the Lord. I was so afiected with the consciousness of my great distance from the happy experience described, and with the fear that many present were in a similar situation, that I felt con- strained to poui" out a few words of penitential confession, and to petition for that di^ane grace which only can give sincere re- pentance toward God, and unfeigned faith toward his beloved Son. IQth, Sixth-day. I cannot write a date so interesting to me, without remarking, that it is the return of the period when I en- tered into the most solemn covenant with him, who is the faithful companion of my life. It brings with it a train of reflections, calculated to call forth the fervent expression of gratitude to the almighty Giver of every good gift. A year has now passed away, since we entered upon the new duties assigned us, with an awful sense of their importance ; and during that year, what abundant cause we have had to bless and magnify that holy Arm, which has so gi-aciously, so mercifully sustained us, under a variety of exercises and pressures, and has enabled us, from time to time, amidst many discouragements and doubtings, to believe in the all-sufficiency of God ; gi'anting a measure of precious confidence, that, however He may be pleased to prove. He will not utterly forsake those who are seeking to put their trust in Him, and Him alone. 1828.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 183 24:th, Seventh-day. A very stormy day. I propose to occupy u part of it, in writing to my dear husband, whose absence seems long ; but it is a comfort to know he is sharing in the privileges of those who go up with sincere hearts to a solemn feast ; and who will, I doubt not, be refreshed together, at times, with the descendings of that celestial rain, whereby it pleases the Lord to confirm his inheritance when it is weary. 25th, First-day. At meeting this morning ; but, alas ! my mind very dead and unprofitable, with nothing, I fear, of that holy desire after a better state, which is compared by David, to the panting of the hart after the water brooks. Those who are met this morning, in difierent parts of the metropolis, were re- membered ; but without any capacity to participate in that solemn feeling, which, I doubt not, has been permitted to cover their assemblies. SOth, Sixth-day. Went to our little reading meeting. The portion read, was an instructive one, treating chiefly of the spirit of Christianity in reference to war, and setting forth the bene- volent and non-resisting temper of the christian, in a striking- manner. I thought a degree of comfortable feeling attended, and in the end, I ventured to offer a short petition, for more and more of the sanctifying influence of the spirit of Jesus Christ our Lord. Sixth Month 1st, First-day. At meeting, I sat in a state of painful wandering and unprofitableness, till near the close, when a sense of our unworthiness and sinfulness was so strongly im- pressed, that it did not seem safe to omit a vocal petition to that gracious God, who only can rebuke the devourer, and save the remnant of his heritage. Seventh Month 6th, First-day. On looking into my book, I find a month has elapsed since I wrote, and the inquiry naturally suggests itself, what has it produced of profitable improvement ? The mind, occupied with a variety of interesting claims, and often absorbed too much by trifles, passes on through the chequered scene of life, alternately enlivened and depressed ; — sometimes ruffled by outward circumstances, and again smoothed into a calm ; but what traces has it received or retained of that, which is permanently conducive to its highest interests ? 23rd, Fourth-day. Arrived at Sidmouth. The town is finely 184 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1828. situated, at the termination of a richly wooded and fertile vale, running north and south between the hills, which present their brown fronts to the sea, in the form of lofty and broken cliffs. The magnificent ocean stretches beautifully to the distant horizon, and breaks upon the steep shore, under our windows. But the moral aspect of this place of fashionable resort, is not congenial to om feelings, though its natural attractions are many. 25th, Sixth-day. Rode over to Budleigh Salterton, a smaller and more retired watering-place, about eight miles farther west- ward. Our route was partly over the lofty clifis, from the top of which, we had a view of the ocean and the neighbouring country, which, I should think, is not often surpassed on the shores of this island. The long sweep of bold coast, running out into many lofty points and headlands, the blue main spread in boundless extent before us, the rich inland scenery of Devonshire, and the town of Sidmouth in the valley, surrounded with elegant villas and ornamental cottages, form altogether, a coup d'oeil of the most pleasing character. 27th, First-day. In our little sitting this morning, a precious feeling was permitted, of the continuance of that mercy which is ancient and new. 2d,th, Second-day. In the afternoon, went to see Knowle Cottage, which is thrown open to visitors, on one day in every week. The grounds contain a variety of foreign birds and ani- mals ; some of the former very beautiful. The house is elegantly fitted up in cottage style ; in some of the rooms, tables were tastefully laid out, with costly and choice specimens of nature and art. A crowd of persons were there, to gaze at this display of taste and affluence ; but whilst the eye wandered from one attrac- tive object to another, the reflecting mind could not fail to inquire, \^■hat might be the situation of the possessor, as to real happiness, and whether, amidst the luxuries and elegancies that filled his apartments, he might not secretly know something of the dis- appointment and dissatisfaction, which filled the breast of a monarch of Israel, when, after exhausting all the sources of ef^rthly gratification, he came to this conclusion, " All is vanity and vexation of spirit." Eighth Month ord, First-day. Sat down together, in the 1828.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 185 forenoon, when, I think, -newere favoured with a precious feeling of good, and after some time, renewed abiUty was granted, to sup- plicate for the best blessings, — those spiritual privileges which are opened in the gospel of Christ our Lord. 2()th, Fourth-day. Walked to the beach before breakfast, to look once more upon the blue, majestic main ; beautiful indeed it was, but we could not linger, as the carriages were ordered early. After reading a chapter, a short time of silence followed, when the renewed feeling of thankfulness to the great Giver of all our blessings, was expressed, and a petition offered, for the divine guidance and direction, under every difficulty. We took leave of our dear mother and brother, and quitted this sweet, rural village, where we had spent three peaceful weeks, not with- out a feeling of pensive regret. Ninth Month 9th, Third-day. Our Monthly Meeting held here to-day. At the close of the meeting for worship, my dear husband and I laid before our friends, a prospect of visiting the meetings, as well as the families of this Monthly Meeting. After a solid pause, several expressed their unity and concurrence, and a minute to this effect was prepared. It is very formidable to us in prospect, and not the less so, for including a large number of near connexions and acquaintance. But there is One, who is sufficient for the weakest of those who are willing simply to depend upon Ilim. 1 ith, First-day. In the morning meeting, I was enabled to get rid of a burden which had, for some time, rested on me, without any power of expressing it. We began our visits to the families of this place. 19 th, Sixth-day. In the evening, was the reading meeting at our house. It was larger than usual, and very interesting. 2lst, First-day. My dear S. and I went to a neighbouring meeting, this morning. The matter communicated, was of a pain- ful nature, and the cause so hidden from our view, that I was ready to question, but desire to leave that which is not revealed, as I trust the words were not spoken in my own will. Tenth Month Sr-d, Sixth-day. Completed a visit to the families of Friends at Taunton. We have had many low seasons, but liave thankfully to acknowledge the help that has been mercifully 186 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1828. vouchsafed. Many are the conflicts and baptisms to be passed through, by those who move in this particular line of service, but if we may be kept from marring the work by any willings of the creature, and be enabled to go on, from day to day, in the sim- plicity of faith, it is cause for humble gratitude and praise. 5th, First-day. Went to the meeting at Taunton, this morn- ing, an exercising time. In the evening, were at Bridgewater meeting, where a precious quiet was permitted, though we were very low. A few words of encouragement were offered to those, who might be ready to apprehend themselves so stripped and destitute, as to have nothing left that might be compared to " the grape -gleanings of the vintage." Eleventh Month 2nd, First-day. Our afternoon meeting was unusually small, from the number of invalids. My mind was drawn into much sympathy with those who are, at times, called to blow the gospel trumpet, and the language of supplication was offered on their behalf. 13^/;, Fifth-day. When shall I attain to that stability in the faith, which enables the soul to pursue her course unmoved, amidst the trials and vexations that surround her, to look sted- fastly unto Him who is " the resurrection and the life," and Avho is able to keep that which is committed unto Him. This is the patience of the saints. Grant me, 0 Lord ! I beseech Thee, more of thy grace, more of the powerful aid of thy Spirit which helpeth our infii-mities, that I may go forward, nothing doubting, trusting ever in thy word. Sixth-day. After our morning reading, we were favom-ed with a precious feeling, under which, I was strengthened to olfer the voice of thanksgiving, as out of the very depths, and to beg for the help of Him who is the only refuge for his people, that we might be permitted to take shelter under the Almighty wing, to hide om-selves in the eternal Rock of ages, and be finally prepared for an entrance into his glorious rest. Oh ! that I may thank- fully commemorate the unfailing mercy and faithfulness of God, who is pleased to manifest Himself as a God nigh at hand ; for my poor soul has been tossed upon the waves of conflict, and the billows have indeed gone over her ; but, blessed be the Lord, He still ruleth the raging of the sea, and is pleased, at times, by his 1828.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 187 effective word, to command a perfect calm, and for this, our souls do praise Him. 23rd, First-day. This morning, my mind seems much at- tracted towards the solemn and interesting occasion at Bath, the interment of the remains of our late excellent friend, P. H. Gumey ; and after some conversation with my dear S. F., it appears as if it might be best for us to attend it. 25fh, Third-day. Set off with my husband by the mail coach for Bath ; the day was fine, and the journey agi'eeable, except from the apparent fatigue of the horses on the last stage. 26th, Fourth-day. A large number of Friends and others assembled at the meeting, to pay the last tribute to the remains of our highly valued friend. I think it may be said to have been a truly solemn opportunity. Went to tea. with the bereft family of our dear friend, at her late dwelling in Widcomb Terrace. It was affecting to consider that it must soon be given up, and those who have been privileged to find a peaceful shelter under its roof, seek other places of residence ; but all seemed sweetness, as regarded the departed spirit. I was best satisfied to request an opportunity with those most nearly affected, and was enabled to express something of the sympathy felt, as well as the desire for their encouragement, to look singly to the power which had done wonderful things for her. Twelfth Month 2nd, Third-day. Went this morning to Bridgewater, in order to attend the Quarterly Meeting. Lodged at the hotel, where a considerable company of friends met at supper. Before we broke up, a chapter was read, the fom-teenth of John, and after some time of silence, wherein I thought we were favoured with a preciously calming influence, I ventured to address the young people present. 3rd, Fourth-day. Quarterly Meeting. When we had sepa- rated for the business of the meeting, I thought I was made sensible, that the gathering ann of infuiite love and mercy was stretched out, to draw some of the young people within the safe enclosure of the true sheep-fold, and to lead them about, and give them pasture there, as they are made willing to follow in the obedience of faith. Near the conclusion, S. B stood up, with an invitation to the young friends present, to which I ventured to make an addition. My dear aunt, Margaret Hoyland, Avas then 188 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1828. enabled to offer, in a very solemn and impressive manner, the lan- guage of thanksgiving and jjrayer. 4^A, Fifth-day. Found a sweetness in meditating on the third of Colossians, twelfth verse. " Put on therefore as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, long-suffering ; forbearing one another and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any, even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye." The fore part of it was so present to me both last evening and this morning, that I was induced to refer to the place, and found the subsequent verses not less adapted to the feelings of my mind ; " And above all these things, put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness ; and let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body, and be ye thankful." — " And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by Him." Precious word of ex- hortation ! may it be deeply engraven on my heart, that whatever I may meet with in the way of temptation, or of the buffetings of the enemy, my soul may be kept in the quiet habitation. "When He giveth quietness, who then can make trouble V and this quiet, the Lord will give to those who are staid on Him. All we hear and all we see, seems only to deepen the conviction, that the call to us, is to detach ourselves from the pursuit of temporal good, beyond that moderate supply which is sufficient for the circum- scribed desires of a heart chiefly set upon things that are eternal. If we may be carried safely through the remainder of our pilgri- mage, and know the best blessing to rest upon our precious child, we shall have abundant cause to praise that great Name which hath done wonderfully for us. 5i/V, Sixth-clay. Woke this morning, with a calm, peaceful feeling, and found sweet consolation in some of the Lord's promises to his people. Felt particularly comforted, in reference to our dear child, trusting that the Lord God all-bountiful would graciously bless him and be his portion. This is what his parents desire for him, far more than any temporal good. If he may but receive abundantly of the dew of heaven, little of the fatness of the earth will be sufficient to satisfy an humble and thankful heart. Itli, Fird-daij. At meeting this morning, my mind was low 1828.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 189 but quiet. There seemed a sweet remembrance of that text, " Stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord." In reflecting on the situation of the poor men now under sentence of death, I have lono-ed that our minds mio;ht be turned to consider the necessity of that deep humiliation, that unfeigned repentance, that unutterable abasement, which must be wrought in the soul, before the wretched criminal, falling under the sentence of the violated laws of his country, can be enabled to lay hold of the hope which is held out in the gospel, to the chief of sinners. Oh ! that in contemplating and magnifying that boundless mercy, which is the glory of the gospel of Christ, we may never lose sight of the infinite purity of God, and the exceeding sinfulness of sin, which alienates the soul from Him. So that I could wish the prayer of our hearts for these unhappy men to be, that they may be brought to see their real state, that they may be humbled into deep and penitential confession before that God, from whom they have so gi'ievously revolted, and that, in this their humiliation, the Lord, who is rich in mercy, would be pleased to speak peace to their souls, through the blood of the everlasting covenant. Qth, Third-day. Went to the Monthly Meeting at Taunton. In the first meeting, I was concerned to call the attention of those present, to some of the fundamental truths of religion,- — the depravity of the human heart, the necessity of the work of repentance, and the converting influence of the Holy Spirit, that all within us might be brought low under the mighty power of God, and capacity be received, to praise Him out of the depths of humiliation, for that means which He has, in his infinite mercy, appointed for our restoration and reconciliation with Him. In the conclusion of our meeting for discipline, my aunt M. H, addressed us very sweetly, directing our attention to the source from whence all good cometh, and I ventured, in a few words, to commemorate the Lord's goodness to his people. \1th, Fourth-day. In the evening, read with my dear hus- band, Washington Irving's " Life of Columbus." The picture it gives of the simple manners of some of the natives of the newly discovered islands, and of the miseries in which they were involved by the successive conquests of the Spaniards, deeply affecting. It was quite a relief, at the end of our reading, to turn to the sixtieth 190 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1828, chapter of Isaiah, and contemplate the glorious promises made to the church of Christ ; to whose light, it is declared, the Gentiles shall finally come. 19^/;, Sixth-day. A letter from my dear sister, with some account of her visit at Wellingborough. Her feelings are deeply afiected, in visiting places which present so lively an impression of what they have lost, by the removal of those who were faithful labourers and upright pillars ; but though their places on earth know them no more, their record is in heaven, and to them, we humbly believe, the blessed welcome has been given, " Enter thou into the joy of thy Lord." For this, we desire reverently to bow before the God of our beloved, departed parents, and to petition Him, that in the gTcatness of his love and his mercy, He would still be pleased to make his work appear to his servants, and his glory to the children of those who now rest from their labours. 28fA, First-day. Bead, in the memoir of Richard Jordan, some account of his danger and remarkable preservation, on a voyage from Bordeaux to England, about the year 1801. The officers and crew of the vessel, a profane set of men, to whom this humble and devoted servant of the Lord Jesus was an object of scorn and derision ; but in the hour of imminent peril, when death stared them in the face, they were compelled to acknowledge, that the Lord was with him, and were most anxious for his prayers. My soul was contrited within me, in beholding the mercy and the faithfulness of the Lord Jehovah, towards those who put their trust in Him before the sons of men ; how He watches over and preserves these, how He keeps them as the apple of his eye, and in seasons of conflict and dismay, enables them to repose on the sufficiency of his own power. Well might Addison say, " How are thy servants blessed, 0 Lord ! How sure is their defence I Eternal wisdom is their guide, Their help, Omnipotence." 31s^, Fourth-day. How shall I make the closing memorandum of a year stored with blessings ! " I am not worthy of the least of all the mercies, and of all the truth which Thou hast showed 1829.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 191 unto thy servant," may well be the language of our hearts. After supper, the tribute of praise was vocally olfered, with a petition that we and oui- household might be preserved from evil during the remainder of our earthly sojourn, and finally prepared for a blessed inheritance, through the sanctifying power and atoning merits of our adorable Redeemer. 1829. First Month, \st, Fifth-day. With the commencement of a new year, may I be permitted to find a renewal of strength, to " press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus !" Oh ! for more of holy watchfulness, of abounding diligence, of fervent supplications, that we may be found faithful in all those duties which the Lord is calling for at our hands ; and whatever may be the trials permitted us in the course of another year, may we be enabled to receive all with filial submission, and a reference to that merciful Hand which disposes events, not according to our frail and erring judgment, but ac- cording to the counsel of his own all perfect will. My dear hus- band has some thoughts of proposing to his brothers, a journey of business in Holland and Germany, and of offering to undertake it. I feel much, at the idea of being so far separated from him, but I hope I am, in some degree, able to commit my beloved com- panion, to the keeping of that gracious God, who has so mercifully preserved us hitherto. '2nd, Sixth-day. In the evening, we read some very interest- ing letters of my dear parents. The contemplation of their pious, circumspect conduct, and reverent fear of the Lord in their daily walk, traly instructive and animating to us. Oh ! for more of the spirit which rested on them ! These papers were, selected from a number of others, in order to collect some particulars of the life of my beloved parents, which I am endeavouring to com- mit to paper. ^th, Second-day. Our dear boy had a very restless night, and my mind was distressed to see his suffering, from oppression on the chest. Amidst the acuteness of maternal feeling, however, I was mercifully favoured with a precious quiet, and was enabled to commit my dear child into the hands of infinite kindness ; in the full assurance, that the will of God is a perfect will, and that it is the sanctification of those, who humbly, resignedly and thank fully bow in submission to it. 1 192 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1829. 17th, Seventh-day. Occupied, most of the morning, in visiting the cottages of tlie poor, to investigate their wants in the way of clothing, previously to the distribution of some, provided prin- cipally by our dear mother. 22nd, Fifth-day. Ha^dng had an invitation to go with W. Planner and his companion, to Taunton, I concluded to accept it, as it would give me a little more of their company. My mind had been drawn into much sympathy with dear W. F., under his peculiar discouragements, and a petition was raised in my heart, for the Lord's messengers, to whom it has pleased Him to commit a dispensation of his gospel, and who, being ambassadors in bonds, are called also to be partakers of the afflictions of the gospel. A little ability seemed to be afforded for utterance, and W. F. was afterwards engaged in a lively, clear and striking communication. After setting forth the way of salvation, by a crucified Saviour, and the necessity of being awakened to the con- sideration of those things which are of eternal importance, he ended with the word of encouragement to the Lord's people. To this, I ventured to make a small addition, commemorative of the goodness of God towards his humble, dependent children. 23rd, Sixth-day. Engaged in visiting the poor. We called on the parents of a child, who was killed by an accident ; the father was very calm, and went with us to see the remains, which were particularly agreeable to look upon, having a sweet, placid expression. The poor boy is highly spoken of, as a good, orderly child, at home and at school. 2Sth, Fourth-day. At meeting, found it in my heart to speak a little of that great deliverance and enlargement, which the Lord hath given, through his Messiah, to all such as believe on his name. In the afternoon, went with my husband, to call on a young woman, of whose conduct, towards a mother who is weak in her intellects, we have heard a most affecting account. We had a great deal of close conversation with her, but I fear her hard heart was little touched. To S. W. Wellington, Fimt Month SOth, 1829. Hearing, last evening, that thou art again separated for a season, from the sweets of the domestic fire-side, and called 1829.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 193 nearly to participate in the feelings of afflicted relatives, I am desirous to lose no time, in attempting to convey to thee and them, the expression of affectionate sympathy. The information of the removal of our dear cousin, reached us from my sister, about a week ago, and was the more of a surprise, as we had not been previously aware of her being so greatly an invalid. Thy dear uncle and his affectionate daughters, will keenly feel this bereaving stroke, but, I trust they are, in infinite mercy, enabled to receive it with a degree of humble resignation, and to believe that the Judge of all the earth, in all things, doeth right ; that He is supremely good, when He giveth, and when He sees meet to take away, and that his great name is worthy to be eternally blessed ; seeing that his mercy is from generation to generation, and his faithfulness to children's children. But though this may be, at times, their favoured experience, though they may feel supported by that which is beyond and above all human succour, nature must have its relief, and surely, we are allowed to weep for those, whose loss can never be supplied to us in this world ; but, when we can, with an eye of faith, look beyond this transient sojourn, and contemplate that state of eternal rest and peace, in which we humbly trust they are centred, when we consider how happily they are escaped from all the conflicts and trials of time, and associated with the spirits of the just made perfect, does it not, my beloved cousin, draw forth the heartfelt acknowledg- ment of gratitude and praise to Him, who hath wrought wonder- fully for them. My heart embraces many of our beloved relatives at York, in that feeling of tender sympathy, which the present bereavement awakens, knowing it will be to some a lively renewal of that acute suffering, through which they have so lately had to pass ; but these, we cannot doubt, will know their streng-th and stay to be the almighty arm Thy tenderly attached, Maria S. Fox. First Month ^\st, Seventh-day. At home all day ; rather low in spirits, and, I fear, not fully looking to the one Source of help and consolation. Second Month \st, First-day. In the morning meeting, felt o 194 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1829. constrained to speak a little, on the necessity of preparation for the awful period, when all must stand before the judgment seat of Christ. StJi, First-day. This morning brings with it feelings of a deeply interesting nature ; the predominating one ought to be that of humble gratitude, to the great and bounteous Giver and Preserver of life. It is the anniversary of our dear child's birth- day. Oh ! that we may be enabled to train his expanding faculties, in such a manner as to promote his permanent happi- ness, and, above all things, to imbue his infant mind with the fear and love of that God, who hath so graciously condescended to care for his parents, and who is the all-sufficient portion of such as trust in Him. 22wt/, First-day. My mind was comforted this morning, in the remembrance of those words, with which David opens one of his beautiful psalms ; " The Lord is my shepherd and in our morning meeting, it seemed best to express something respecting the privileges enjoyed by those, who, through submission to the baptizing power of the spirit of Christ, are enabled to adopt this language. To these, there shall be indeed no want of any thing seen to be meet for them, by their gracious Preserver and Protector. To M. B. Wellington, Second Month, 1829. Mt dear friend, I believe I need make no apology for the freedom of addressing a few lines to thee, at the moment of thy departure. Thou wilt not wonder that I take a lively interest in your journey, or that I am anxious you may derive mutual comfort and strength from your association, through the diversified scenes it may offer. It is truly pleasant to me that my dear S. is to have thy company, and I trust thou wilt be helpful to him, not only in those pur- suits which are the immediate object of your journey, but be also enabled to enter with him into secret exercise of spirit, for the blessing of peace and preservation. Of this, the humble believer in the Lord Jesus feels himself peculiarly in need, when his lot is cast amongst such as lightly esteem or deny that holy Name, which he 1829.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 195 finds to be the only sure refuge. You Avill, no doubt, meet with many irreligious, as well as some religious persons, with whose different states your minds will be affected. I know it is my dear husband's earnest desire, and believe it will also be thine, so to be preserved in watchful fear, as that you show yourselves, by the powerful testimony of example, on the Lord's side. It is declared of the Lord, concerning his little, lowly, dependent ones, that they should be as a dew from Him, in the midst of many people. The principle by which these are governed, is diffusive in its nature, though often almost imperceptible in its operation, and is elsewhere compared to the little leaven in the three measures of meal ; so that by endeavouring to dwell deep, and seeking daily supplies from the one inexhaustible fountain, I cannot doubt but you will be enabled as you pass along, although your object is of a commercial nature, to cast in what may be compared to a little of the precious seed, in places where the state of religion and morals is lamentably low, and where infidelity, vice and profligacy abound. Having myself known a little of the depressing effect of that moral and spiritual darkness, by which the traveller at times finds himself surrounded, I am perhaps the more able to sympa- thize with you, and the more solicitous that you may be inwardly refreshed by Him, who is Himself light, and in whom is no dark- ness at all. With the expression of very kind regard. Thy sincere friend, Maria S. Fox. Second Month 28th, Seventh-da t/. After our reading this morning, we were permitted to partake together of a preciously uniting feeling, under which, the voice of supplication arose on behalf of those who were about to leave us, to travel in a distant land. We again sat down to spend a few interesting minutes together before the arrival of the coach ; when a solemn covering again overspread us, and my dear husband petitioned for all those dear connexions from whom he was about to separate, particu- larly for his honoured mother, his wife and little son. My heart desires to commemorate, with humble gratitude, this renewed evidence of our Heavenly Father's love, and under the strengthen- 0 2 196 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1829. ing efficacy of it, to commit my greatest earthly stay into his holy keeping. We set oif for Bristol, and arrived safely at the house of our kind friends T. and S. B. Third Month 1st, First-day. Some of our friends in this city, have just entered on the work of visiting the famiUes of this large meeting. Our minds were led into sympathy with them, under the conflicts attendant on this peculiar line of service ; and a vocal petition was offered on their behalf, in the mornino; meetino;. 3?yZ, Third-day. At meeting this morning ; it was a low time to me. In the evening, the prevalence of that precious influence which gently draws the mind towards the source and centre of good, was sweetly felt ; my S. F. expressed a few words, to which I made a short addition, when our dear friend S. B. knelt down and supplicated for the best blessing, especially on account of my beloved husband. It was a truly comforting opportunity, and my heart thankfully acknowledges the unmerited mercy extended to those, who desire to move, even in temporal concerns, under a sense of their own weakness, and of the need there is for daily supplies of heavenly aid and succour. Hh, Fourth-day. My dear S. set olf about seven for London ; we parted under a quiet feeling. I reached home safely, in the afternoon ; had agreeable company, and found my sister and our dear boy better than when I left. It is a great comfort to rejoin them, and to feel my own home a quiet habitation, where my mind can retrace the circumstances of the few last days, with gratitude to our gracious and compassionate Heavenly Father. May I not say, " Bless the Lord, oh my soul ! and all that is within me, bless his holy name." My dearest husband is indeed far away, and likely in a few days to be beyond the rolling deep, but the Shepherd of Israel sleepeth not ; He remains to be "the confidence of all the ends of the earth, and of them that are afar off upon the sea," and permits his children to meet, at seasons, at his sacred footstool, and to feel, whether present or absent, united in Him. ^ih, Sixth-day. Went through my district of sick poor ; saw one poor woman near her end, who died a few hours after we called. Received a very interesting letter, with an account of my 1829.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 197 aunt B. Hoyland, who appears to be gradually sinking-, but sweetly sustained on the bed of languishing, by the presence of divine love and power. To S. F. Wellington, Third Month 7th, 1829. Now I can no longer address thee in our own country, the idea of separation comes on me in its full force, and makes me look towards the leng-thened time that is to intervene before we meet again, vnth. a sensation I shall not attempt to describe ; but I esteem it cause of humble gTatitude, to be per- mitted to feel our dwelling a peaceful shelter, and the quiet of it, very congeniaL H. and I think and talk a great deal of thee, and follow thee in thy joumeyings. How precious is the belief, that we can and do, at times, meet where spirits may hold sweet communion I wish to occupy a part of the evening in writing to my dearest husband, who is now separated from those with whom he is wont to assemble. When I awoke this morning, my heart was filled with a tranquillizing sense of heavenly love and good- ness, in which thou wast so present to me, that it seemed, indeed, something like communion of spirit. And so, my dear love, thou art, I suppose, at this moment borne upon the waves, or else about landing on a foreign strand. I need not say, when thou art looking back to the expanse of waters. Think that the ocean zone which clasps our sliore, And laves its rocks with ever-moving swell, Encloses hearts that love thee, lii)s that pour A prayer for thee, in that full word, Farewell ; — because I am sure thou knowest how much our hearts desire thy comfort, and that the blessing of peace may be with thee I cannot say that I did not regret your sailing on First-day, but have no doubt of thy desire to do for the best. Here, thou wilt excuse me, if I venture to repeat the hope, that you will not be induced, for the sake of accelerating your progress, to travel on that day, recollecting we had reason to repent of doing so. Perhaps, this is peculiarly of consequence, in countries where the 198 MEMOIRS OF MARIA l(iX. [1829. universal disregard of religiously observing one day in tlie seven, is but too apparent I have a precious degree of trust for thee, that thovi wilt be kept as in the secret place, and be permitted to " abide under the shadow of the Almighty." This passage, which presented forcibly to my mind in the opportunity at T. B.'s, is now again revived. Oh, that we may mutually experience it ! I desire to feel very thankful, that we were per- mitted so sweetly to enjoy each other's society, during the few days we were in Bristol, and that it was given vis to part under a degree of renewed ability, to commit and commend each other to the one availing Helper and Comforter of his people M. P. Third Month 10th, Tliird-day. Our Monthly Meeting. My sister spoke instructively on the text, ' ' If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God ;" setting forth the necessity of our asking in faith, and with a spirit seeking after conformity to the divine will concerning us. William Forster stood up soon after, and said he apprehended others beside himself, were prepared to acknowledge, it had been a season of spiritual refreshment and breaking of bread. He spoke also on the benefit of afflictions ; said it was an unutterable mercy, when we were permitted to feel the Lord's hand to be upon us, even though it were in the way of chasten- ing ; that it was a blessed experience to know, that the various dispensations of divine providence were gradually producing within us, something of the coming and establishment of the Redeemer's kingdom. It was a sweet word of instruction and comfort that was given to this dear friend to declare amongst us. Will, Fourth-day. Oh ! the perilous situation of those who are in conspicuous stations ! How are these set as a mark for the archers ! Against these, the enemy of souls, who is the betrayer and accuser of the brethren, directs his deadliest shafts, and seeks to elfect their overthrow, witli a cruelty like that of the great dragon, mentioned in the Apocalypse, who, with his tail, drew down the stars of heaven. There is no safe state or situation, bvit that of being hid in the cleft of the rock, sheltered under the overshadowing wing of ancient and everlasting goodness. May it be the daily prayer of our souls, to be kept little and low, and 1829.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 199 SO to be subjected to the discipline of the cross of Christ, that self, in its various shapes and subtle workings, may die daily ; for truly in us, that is, in our flesh, dwelleth no good thing. May we be so deeply impressed with the deceitfulness of our own hearts, and the power of the world, the flesh and the devil, that whilst we humbly believe, the saints may be " kept by the power of God, through faith, unto salvation," we may constantly re- member the injunction of our blessed Lord, " Watch ye and pray, lest ye enter into temptation." 12th, .Fifth-day. My mind, after retiring to rest last night, was a good deal disquieted by anxieties respecting my dear hus- band ; but this morning, there seems to be a degi'ee of precious calm, and a renewed sense of the extendings of providential care, for which I desire to feel thankful. 13th, Sixth-day. Felt this morning, a desire to be kept in the secret habitation, where the power of the enemy has no place. Oh ! that blessed word of our Redeemer ! " Abide in me." Thus may we be kept, 0 Lord ! abiding in the vine of life, that we may be preserved alive, and become fruit-bearing branches to thy praise. 15th, First-day. In the afternoon meeting, I ventured to ex- press a little, on the stability and holy settlement which is enjoyed by the true church of God, amidst all the fluctuations of time, and the refuge, that is ever open to the humble believer, in the day of trial. My mind seemed to be attracted towards some, who, I am ready to apprehend, are, of late time more especially, made sensible of the call to follow the Lord Jesus, and the word of encouragement was offered to these. 22nd, First-day. Thought much of my beloved husband in his solitary wanderings, — " Far from the fold, and in a barren waste," but a little comforted in the remembrance, that although in an outward sense, " No shepherds' tents within his view appear, Yet the chief Shepherd is for ever near." 23rd, Second-day. Went in the afternoon to Tonedale. To- wards the conclusion of the visit (as indeed throughout the day 200 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1829, at times) my mind seemed to be covered witli something of a desire to approacli the sacred footstool. There did not appear to be any opportunity for giving expression to this feeling, nor am I sm-e such an offering was requii-ed. I desire to be found watchful in not passing by opportunities of drawing near to the Fountain of all good, when we meet for social intercourse, in that reverent bowedness of spirit, wherein the mind is permitted to feel the descendings of heavenly dew ; but I am afraid of words. Deepen us all, 0 Lord ! cause us to grow in the root, rather than in the branches ; that we may increase in holy stability, and bring forth only such fruit as is acceptable to Thee, through the power of the spirit of oiu- Lord Jesus Christ. 2Mh, Third-day. Reading the Life of Legh Richmond, a book replete with instruction. Went vrith S. C. F. through her district of sick poor. Felt very desirous I might not spend any thing in superfluity for myself or dear boy, but endeavour to spare every penny for the relief of our suffering neighbours. 26th, Fifth-day. On awaking this morning, was comforted with the remembrance of that scripture promise, " Trust in the Lord, and do good ; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed." Oh ! to be fed with that spiritual food, which keeps up the life of faith in the soul. " This is life eternal, that they might know Thee, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom Thou hast sent." 29th, First-day. The meeting this morning, as to myself, a low time. Unprofitable, cold and dead was the state of my mind duiing the greater part. 0 Lord! "quicken me in thy righteous- ness — " lighten mine eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death." In the afternoon, towards the close, a quiet feeling seemed permitted, which continued throuo;h the evenino- and after our readino;, a little ability was felt, to commend my dear absent one and our- selves to the best keeping, in vocal prayer. 30th, Second-day. My birth-day. Three times twelve years have run their rapid course, and where am I ? Lord, " so teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom." Thirty-six years of providential mercy, demand the solemn and heartfelt tribute of gratitude and praise. Our precious child very interesting ; Oh ! that he may be blest « 1829.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 201 with spiritual blessings, and have his portion with, the little flock of Christ, that he may be indeed one of the lambs of the heavenly fold, whom the great Shepherd tenderly carrieth in his arms, and leadeth into the green pastures of life and salvation. Fourth Month %th^ Fourth-day . In the afternoon, we looked out for the mail, and had the inexpressible pleasure of welcoming my dearest husband, looking better, after his long journey, than I feared. I trust my heart was made truly thankful to that merciful Preserver, who has kept him by land and sea, and now restored him safely to the bosom of his family. \%h. First-day. At meeting this morning. Such is the pre- vailing darkness of my mind as to the best things, that I am at times ready to conclude myself, as those who go down ' ' to the sides of the pit." Arise, 0 Lord! and plead my cause; "let not mine enemies triumph over me." 1 oth^ Fourth-day. Quarterly Meeting at Bristol ; a low time to many. We were not, however, without the word of exhortation from several. After dinner, my mind was secretly attracted to- wards the young people, with a desire that they might profitably receive those afflictive dispensations which are appointed by our Heavenly Father. Some of those present, being now under peculiar circumstances, were addressed. 26^/i, First-day. In the evening, received a letter conveying the solemn tidings of my dear aunt, B. Hoyland's departure from this world. The closing scene was calm, after a day of great bodily conflict : the mind appears to have been remarkably borne up by the consolations of the divine Spiiit. Fijllb Month ord, First-day. At meeting in the morning. I was very low, but thought there was a feeling of that which is not at our command, and something of the spirit of prayer. My dear sister, before the close, offered it vocally, much to my comfort. ■ith, Second-day. Busy in preparing for an approaching journey to London. In the present state of the church, so much there is to depress the mind and sink it below the proper balance, that there is little capacity to go up cheerfully to her solemn feasts. The deep retirement and obscurity of some lonely dwell- ing, would be more congenial to my feelings, but it seems best for 202 MEMOIRt! OF MARIA FOX. [1829. us to try to be at this Yearly Meeting, having no particular cause of detention at home. Sixth Month 9th, Third-day. Since the last memorandum was made, my S. F. and I have attended the Yearly Meeting. We left home with our dear mother, and had a very agreeable journey. On our way, we made some calls on friends living in solitary situations, and as we had a few days before the com- mencement of the Yearly Meeting, took the opportunity of pay- ing a short visit to our friends, T. and E. S., which was very pleasant ; were with them at Uxbridge, on First-day, where we called on several invalids. The Yearly Meeting of Ministers and Elders met on the IStli, and the general Yearly Meeting on the 20th. Many minds were, I beheve, deeply bowed under the feeling, that the church is, indeed, cast down, that her living- members have to go " mourning, because of the oppression of the enemy;" but surely, there is abundant reason to acknowledge that the Lord was pleased, in the gi'eatness of his mercy, so to over- shadow us at seasons M'ith the canopy of his love, as to confii-m our spirits in the precious belief, that He is still good to Israel, and that He hath not utterly cast off the remnant of his heritage. During the various sittings of the Yearly Meeting, many in- teresting subjects were brought forward. Some very affecting accounts of the state of things in America, brought Friends into near sympathy with their suffering brethren, on the other side the Atlantic. The meetings ended on Sixth-day, the 29th, under a solemn covering, and though as respects ourselves, it was a time of great humihation, I trust we can thankfully say, we felt it a pri\dlege to be permitted to partake in many seasons of re- freshment with our friends. 17th, Fouiih-day. At our meeting, I was led to reflect, on the distress felt by the disciples at sea, when the tempest ran high and their ship was covered with waves, and on the deliverance wrought for them by their Lord, who spake and there was a great calm. There seemed, in the remembrance of it, something like a word of renewed consolation to the sorrowful and tossed soul, and a little help was mercifully afforded, to rise above the fears, doubts and reasonings which often harass my mind, and to express the desire 1 felt for the encouragement of such. 1829.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 203 "we are as safe at sea, — SAFER IN THE STORM THAT GOD SENDS US, THAN IN A CALM, WHEN WE ARE BEFRIENDED BY THE WORLD." Hast thou heard the loud roar of the turbulent ocean, When the wintry wind over its bosom has passed, When the angry waves raged in their wildest commotion. And death seemed to ride on the wings of the blast I Hast thou seen the frail bark in that moment of anguish. Now aloft on the billow, now whelmed in the surge. When tlie hopes of the hard-toiling mariner languish. And the hollow gale sounds in his ear like a dirge I 'Tis the moment of mercy, — his efforts all foiling, She appears, and the tempest subsides at her will ; — Her voice, o'er the tumult of waves, is prevailing. As she breathes the soft accents of, — Peace ! be yc still. Go on then, thou sea-beaten vessel ; and borrow New light from this darkness, new hope from this fear. Let thy peril to-day, teach thee trust for to-morrow, In storm or in sunshine, thy Saviour is near. 1st of Ninth Month. Tenth Month 8th, Fifth-day. A long time has elapsed since the last memorandum was made. How has it been spent ? — is a very natural and important inquiry. Many things have been done, but how does the account stand with regard to the one thing needful. Humble thyself, 0 my soul ! into the dust ; put on the garments of penitence and prayer, if so be thou mayst find mercy with the Lord, who " is a God of knowledge, and by Him, actions are weighed." Where, in the hour of adversity and conflict, has been thy faith in his good providence, where, thy dependence on his unerring wisdom, power and love ? Hast thou not often murmured in the day of trial, when the wilderness journey seemed long and painful ; when there was a breaking of the whole staff" of bread, and a taking away the whole stay of water, in a spiritual sense ; when the heaven above was veiled from thy view, and the earth around looked full of danger and difficulty ? Remember the example of Israel of old, and thank God that He hath not left thee to perish in this state ; that 204- MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1829. thou hast still some touches of his love, some feeble desires after the way of life and salvation. It is indeed a day of trial and proving, a day of humiliation and treading down, wherein this language is often feelingly adopted, "I am as a Avonder unto many." Oh ! that there may be a capacity to go on with the psalmist, and say, " but Thou art my strong refuge." 22nd, Fifth-day. The prayer of my heart is, when capable of any aspiration towards the fountain of all good, that we may be kept in the right way ; that in things temporal, we may know our steps to be ordered of the Lord ; that we may not, in oui' own will, choose a path, or in any degree, take ourselves out of the leadings of best wisdom, but, with the simplicity of faith, follow the little light that may be mercifully afforded, and wait patiently for its further discoveries, not distrusting the care and tender mercy of our compassionate Father. Tioelfth Month \st, Third-day. Went to Taunton, to attend our IMonthly Meeting of Ministers and Elders. It was small, but not altogether without something of that uniting influence, which is not at our own command. My dear aunt, H. spoke a few words near the conclusion, expressive of her desire that all might be enabled to keep their places in the body, and by faithfulness in all thino-s, be streno-thened themselves and become a streno;th to others. A short vocal petition in unison with this communication, was afteiTvards ofiTered. Proceeded, in the afternoon, to Bridge- water. There, we had the pleasure of meeting our dear friend Isaac Stephenson, who came with a certificate to visit several of the south-western counties. In the evening, attended the Quarterly Meeting of IMinisters and Elders, and were favoiu'ed with a very lively communication from I. S. It was a small meeting, several friends being absent, who usually take their seats in it. We lodged at the hotel, where was a company of nearly forty, at supper ; most of the number, young people. It was a quiet, comfortable evening ; before we retired, a chapter in the testa- ment was read, and a few words were offered in supplication for the divine blessing. 2nd, Fourth-day. The Quarterly Meeting was a time of re- newed favour, from that gracious Lord who is pleased to minister to the spiritual necessities of his people. Dear I. S. laboured 1829.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 205 abundantly in word and doctrine, to the comfort and encourage- ment of some drooping spirits. 6^/;, First-day. " We will walk as the Lord may please, only let it be near Him, the eternal, faithful, living Saviovu'." These words, uttered by the pious and aged Vander Smissen during the moments which preceded his death, have forcibly recurred to my remembrance, many times this day. They appear to express, in great sweetness and simplicity, that child-like desire which ought to be felt by every true christian. It is of little consequence in what path we are led, if it be according to the will of God, and if we are favoured with the soul-refreshing and sustaining company of the blessed Saviour. This may not always imply the sensible enjoyment of his presence, because we have reason to believe, the Lord is often peculiarly near to his afflicted childi-en, when they feel most destitute and deserted, when, in the bitterness and anguish of their hearts, they are ready to conclude, their way is hidden from the Lord, — their judgment passed over from their God. To these tossed and tempted souls, He is graciously pleased at times to reveal Himself, as the God of all comfort, when refuge fails them and fears are on every side. Thus may it be, through the greatness of heavenly love and mercy, with some of us who are cast down very low, and are often ready to faint by the way ! IZtli, First-day. Soon after we sat down in meeting this morning, my mind was attracted to the consideration of that de- claration of the apostle : ' ' This is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners and ability was given, to speak a little on the gTeat subject of redemption by Jesus Christ. 31s^, Fifth-day. This being the last day of the year, I feel de- sirous of recording some of the thoughts and feelings, the return of the season has produced, though my mind has been of late in a state that has much indisposed me for writing. Perplexity, confusion and dismay have often surrounded me on every side, and made me ready to say, " The waters are come in unto my soul and, in this tossing of the vessel on an agitated sea, there has seemed hardly faith enough left, to raise the suppliant cry to that gracious God, whose all-powerful word controls the winds and waves. Oh ! for a grain, though never so small, of that 206 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1829. efficacious faith, which enabled the apostle to look beyond the things which are seen. The christian traveller is instructed by his great Lord, to leave caring for the morrow ; but how difficult he often finds this lesson, notwithstanding the innumerable proofs he has received of the faithfulness of his gracious and merciful Father, and of his own utter incapacity to do any good thing for himself, without the divine assistance and blessing ! Lord ! teach me to rest in thy blessed will, and to believe heartily in thy con- soling promise, that all things shall work together for good, to those who love and fear Thee. The past year has been one of peculiar trials ; but may we not, in the awful moment of its departure, in numbering it with the years that are fled never to return, acknowledge, with humble gratitude, that goodness and mercy have followed us through its eventful course ; and from the remembrance of its trials and its mercies, its sorrows and its joys, derive a hope, that in the yet unknown scenes of the future, we may be sustained of Him who was afflicted in all the afflictions of his people, and the Angel of whose presence saved them ; — who enables them to take sweet delight and refreshment, in the many blessings He showers down upon them, and thankfully to acknowledge, that He giveth them richly all things to enjoy. 1830.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 207 CHAPTER IX. 1830—1833, Reflections — Visits to the poor — Establishment of Pro- vident Society — W. and M. Smith — Birth of a son — Memoranda — Quarterly Meeting — Religious visit to Devon and Cornwall — Death of her sister-in-law — Religious service in Bristol — Reflections on birth-day — Illness and death of her husband's mother. 1830. First Month I3th, Foi^rth-day . Two weeks of this year are already past, and what am I doing ? I fear little, besides paying daily attention to the concerns of our own family, and this, not in that spirit and disposition which are likely to be ac- companied by the best blessing. My health has not been good since the severity of the winter set in ; and the mind partaking in the infirmities of its frail companion, in addition to its own, has been weak, unsteady, and often disquieted ; suffering little things to take too deep hold on it, and to engross those thoughts and faculties which are designed for more important occupation. Divine love and power only, can recall the wanderings of our un- stable nature, and settle us on the true centre ; but we ought constantly to make this the object of our watchfulness unto prayer. How much good we lose, and how much evil we bring upon ourselves, for want of this ! The scripture says, " Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is staid on Thee, because he trusteth in Thee." It is only to bring this promise home to our consciences, and we shall immediately see, what poor, vacillating creatures we are. We sometimes fancy we do trust, and we talk of faith and patience ; but, alas ! to how little pur- pose ! Where, as regards ourselves, is that peace which would result from repose in the divine will ? If we were kept in this peace, which does, indeed, pass understanding, should we be moved with every trifling incident ; or would it be in the power of everything and anything (sometimes almost nothing) to betray us into thoughts and expressions, which are unworthy the nobility of the christian character? These are humiliating reflections, but such as we must often find forced upon us, if we are, in any 208 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1830. degree, attentive to what passes within. Still, if there be but something of that struggle kept up between the power of divine grace and the corruptions of nature, which animated the breast of the apostle, when he exclaimed, " Oh, wretched man that I am ! who shall deliver me from the body of this death V there is hope for us, because we know that all those who faithfully maintain it, shall finally receive the victory, through Jesus Christ our Lord. In the mean time, oh, my soul ! retire thou into thy strong-hold ; seek to be covered with the whole armour of light, and, above all, to be clothed with humility and true meekness. Seek rather the lowly posture of the suppliant, than the triumph of the con- queror. Thy Lord hath conquered, and it is enough that thou abide in Him ; waiting patiently for the day when He shall say, " to the prisoners. Go forth, and to them that are in darkness, Show yourselves." Hath He not power over all the host of his enemies ? Hath He not power to bind the prince of darkness, at his pleasure ? He hath himself instructed us, " that men ought always to pray, and not to faint ;" and He closes his parable with this expostulation and promise : " Shall not God avenge his own elect, which cry day and night unto Him, though He bear long with them ? I tell you that He will avenge them speedily." 17th, First-day. Had the company of Joseph Clarke and his wife at our meeting ; they are engaged in paying a visit to the families of Friends here. J. C. spoke, for a short time, on the subject of love to God, to which I felt constrained to make some addition, my mind having been much occupied in similar con- siderations. \9>th, Second-day. Our dear friends above-mentioned, visited us this morning, much to our comfort. J. C. was led, in a very instructive manner, to trace the mercy and goodness of God, in his various dispensations towards his children. It was a time of strengthening and confirmation to our drooping spirits. 21si, Fifth-day. My turn to visit the sick poor, for the Benevo- lent Society. The sufferings of our indigent neighbours during this severe winter, make me very solicitous that I may be found a faithful steward of the supplies granted by a bountiful Pro- vidence ; that I may ever bear in mind, they were given for good purposes, not to be thoughtlessly lavished in unnecessary indul- 1830.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 209 gences, or trifling gratifications, but that I may diligently occupy with them, as a part of the talents for which I must render an account. 2Uh, First-day. In the evening, some little circumstances occurred, rather ruffling to my feelings ; but in a precious time of retirement with my dear S., I found some access to the fountain of saving help, and was streng-thened to look to the one great Helper of our infirmities. loth, Second day. Morning very closely occupied, having many applications from the poor to attend to. It is a great com- fort, to be enabled, in any degree, to relieve their wants, or soothe the sufierino-s which seem meted out ia large measure to some of them. When the spirits are, at times, ready to sink, under the acute sense of what they have to endure, how cordial is the assurance, that " the same Lord over all, is rich unto all that call upon Him." Third-day. I think I may say, the prayer of my heart is, to be clothed with humility, and with that genuine meek- ness which is its natm'al fruit. Undoubtedly, it is the pride of our own hearts, which makes us so acutely alive to the least degree of hauteur, observable in the carriage of others towards us. This is my infirmity ; a word, almost a look, will at times pro- duce quite a struggle with myself, to recover that serenity so valuable to the christian. " Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus," who "made Himself of no reputation," was the recommendation of the apostle to the primitive believers. Lord ! give us more of this mind, we pray Thee, that in all things, self may be subdued, and thy power only be magnified, through thy infinite grace and mercy, in Jesus Christ our Lord. 11 th, Fourth-day. Wrote to our dear friend, Daniel Wheeler, at Petersburgh. This family, exiled from their friends and cut oif from the social pleasures in which they once participated, have strong claims on the sympathy of those who are surrounded with outward advantages. But, though they are planted in the midst of a wilderness, naturally and spiritually, they are under the gracious notice of that universal Providence which is extended to all lands, and are also, I can fully believe, subjects of that divine grace which is a sun and shield. p 210 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1830. 29th, Sixth-day. I daily feel, more and more, the necessity of seeking to be hid in the covert of true humility, — of retiring into low and secret places, in the time of danger, that the shafts of the archer may fly harmless over our heads. Oh ! the precious- ness of being kept in the munitions of rocks, where the gracious Lord still gives a morsel of living bread to his afflicted ones, and where their water, through his merciful provision for them, is sure. " Little children, abide in Him," is the exhortation of the beloved disciple, when he enforces the love of God in Christ. This is the attainment after which my soul longs. Who is he that shall harm us, if we so abide ? Second Month 20th, Seventh-day. Occupied a good deal, with preparations for the establishment of our Provident Society, though my mind, from a variety of causes, is not very much disposed for any new effort. Oh, the bm-den of an unresig-ned spirit ! When shall I learn the lesson of filial confidence and submission ? 22nd, Second-day. In a very unprofitable state of mind ; scattered from the place of true rest, though not without a desire to be gathered by the crook of the good Shepherd. Surely, if our minds were strongly impressed with the uncertainty of all earthly things, and the certain approach of that period, when they must pass away as a vision, we should not suffer ourselves to be so absorbed in trifles, or busied in things of little moment, com- pared with the one thing needful. Lord ! so teach me to number my days, that I may apply my heart unto wisdom. 2Qth, Sixth-day. A fatiguing day. I felt, from a variety of causes, much depressed, and far from that state of serenity and quiet trust, which bespeaks a mind staid on God. The outward and inward prospect is, at present, wearing a clouded aspect, and it is difficult to come to that resignation which is breathed in the beautiful language of the prophet, " Although the fig-tree shall not blossom, neither shall fruit be in the vines," — "yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation." 2%th, First-day. In our morning meeting, S — s was largely engaged in gospel communication, on the text, ' ' Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." He enlarged upon it with much force and clearness, and addressed 1830.] MEAKJIRS OF MARIA FOX. 211 the lans:ua2;e of invitation and consolation, to different states amongst us. Third Month 7th, First-day. In our meeting this morning, there was a feeling in my heart towards some deeply tried and discouraged state, and a degree of ability was afforded, to speak a word of consolation to such. Fourth Month oOth, Sixth-day. Our dear friends, W. and M. Smith, from Doncaster, were at a meeting with Friends of this place. They are our guests, which is a great pleasure to my sister and myself, being old acquaintances of our honoured parents. M. S., is wonderfully carried through her great exertions, considering the weak state of her worn- down frame. Her com- munication, in our meeting, was very striking, and remarkably adapted to some states present. In the evening, the reading meet- ing was held in its usual course, after which, the spring of gospel communication was again opened, to the comfort and refreshment of some afflicted souls. Fifth Month '[st, Seventh-day. After our morning reading, our dear friend, M. S., was led to address my beloved husband, in a truly remarkable manner, she being very much a stranger to him, before this short visit at our house. It humbled my heart in deep gratitude to that gracious God, who is pleased, when He sees meet, to administer to the wants of his children. Although for purposes of his own unsearchable wisdom. He may, for the most part, keep them in a dry and thirsty land ; yet, blessed be his holy name ! his is the key of David, and when He is pleased to open the spring of heavenly consolation, no man can shut. May our spirits be refreshed, and may we be enabled to go forward with renewed confidence, in the race set before us ! 9^/;, First-day. My mind was much affected, in meeting this morning, by the consideration of time, and its aAvful uncertainty to us all. Some ability was afforded, to express the desire which prevailed in my heart, that we might be chiefly concerned to know, whether we have a saving faith in Him, who only can guide us safely, over the unstable ocean of life, and bring us, at last, into the peaceful haven of eternal rest. \%th, First-day. This is the anniversary of our marriage, a day to be remembered with humble, reverent gratitude towards p 2 212 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1830. that gracious God, who is the bountiful giver of every good gift ; who was pleased, in a remarkable manner, to favour us on that occasion with his presence, and who hath mercifully been near, to support under every trial that has since been permitted us ; showering down upon us daily blessings, spiritual and temporal, and cementing our happy union more and more strongly, as time passes on. What shall we render unto Thee, 0 Lord ! for all thy benefits ? is, I trust, the secret prayer of our souls. 18^/;, Third-day. We have been reading the " Life of T. Chai'les," of Bala ; a very interesting and instructive work. He was indeed an eminent example of christian virtues, and, in his excellent papers, now presented to the public, "he, being dead, yet speaketh." 19^/;, Fourth-day. Our dear boy quite poorly to-day, with a cold ; he daily grows in understanding, but with the unfolding capacity, the will strengthens also. Oh ! for strength and wisdom, to regulate and subdue that which should be subjected. The great step to this, must be the reduction of it in myself, and a constant seeking after the spirit of faith and prayer. 24^/i, Second-day. My spirits have been rather low, the last few days, but a little encouraged this evening, in that exhortation of the psalmist, " Wait on the Lord, be of good courage and He shall strengthen thine heart ; wait, I say, on the Lord." Lord! teach me so to wait, daily, at thy footstool, not in the spirit of a slavish fear, but with humble, childlike confidence, fully trusting thy fatherly goodness, power and love. Thou wilt suifer no actual evil to befal those who place their whole reliance on Thee ; nothing, but what, sanctified by Thee, shall work for their good : every trial, every difficulty, every temptation may be converted into blessing by thy all-subduing grace. I^th, Third-day. My mind is in a state of Hstlessness this morning ; indolent as to the best pui'suits. Oh I that it may be quickened in the divine fear, and brought to the place of true, inward, secret prayer. We must gather the manna daily, if we would be fed with soul-sustaining food. 26^A, Fourth-day. Did not go to our meeting this morning. I was favoured to feel a degree of quiet, in my retirement at home, though very poor and stripped. If the inward life be but pre- 1830.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 213 served, these low seasons ought to be received with thankfulness, because they are calculated to deepen our experience of the utter incapacity of the natural man, to advance himself in the way of holiness. Truly, our help cometh only from the Lord, who made heaven and earth, and whose power can call into existence, things that are not, to the praise and glory of his own great name. The entire passiveness of the will, is what He calls for in his children. If they are sufficiently subject, He will work for them, to his own glory, and their eternal well being. So work in our souls, we beseech Thee, 0 Lord ! for thine is the power ; to Thee be all the praise, now and for ever ! '3Qth, First-day. Not at meeting, and I fear the solitude it afforded, has not been improved as it ought to have been. Alas ! how prone we are to give way to unprofitable thoughts, agitations and anxieties ; to busy ourselves with anything rather than the one thing neeful. The revicAV of the day does not afford me much satisfaction, and yet now, in the evening of it, a degree of precious quiet is mercifully permitted to overspread my spirit, and the cry of supplication rises to that gracious God, who can deliver from all evil. Be pleased, 0 Lord ! I humbly beseech Thee, to strengthen me with a little help from thy sanctuary, to be near in the time of peculiar need, and enable my soul to lay hold of thy mercy, through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, who is the Sa^dour of his people. To E. S— h. Wellington, Sixth Month 4th, 1830, My very dear Friend, There are some parts of thy letter on which I could dwell, with feelings of tender and pensive delight. The allusion to one, whose memory is deeply engraven in our affections, touched a responding chord in the hearts of my dear sister and myself. She is one of the dead, whose remembrance is blessed, and her pious example has left a sweet fragi-ance behind it. I love to think of her circumspect walking, and the earnestness of her desire to be found in the path of duty, and can feelingly re- echo the desire thou expressest, to be clothed with the same spirit of humility and godly fear. I often recur to the last 2\i MEMOIRS OF MARIA FuX. [1830. precious opportunity we had of her company, in that beautiful spot from which her ransomed spirit took its flight, we most fully believe, to the paradise of love, and light and joy. Perhaps, the loss of such dear and deservedly cherished tics, is felt even more and more, at times, as the current of years rolls on, and successive scenes in the journey of life, show us very forcibly their value ; but how much is there to reconcile us to a change so un- speakably advantageous for them, and how abundantly does the bountiful Giver of all good gifts, continue to surround us who remain behind, witli tlie continual proofs of his providential care and mercy, in the blessings bestowed on us ; blessings, that I have no doubt, we mutually feel, call loudly for the daily acknowledg- ment of humble gratitude and praise M. S. F. Sixth Month 5th, Seventh-day. My spirits, to-day, a good deal tried from various causes. Oh ! what need have I of the hourly support of the great and gracious Preserver! " Hold Thou me up, and I shall be safe, and I will have respect unto thy statutes continually," is the pious prayer and holy resolution of the psalmist. Oh ! that it were the daily and hourly petition of my soul. 15th, Third-day. I have now to commemorate, with ad- miring, adoring gratitude, the merciful kindness of my Hea- venly Father, who has added, to all the temporal blessings showered down upon us, the sweet gift which it must be now our delightful care, to rear as a tender lamb entrusted to us by the great Shepherd of the sheep. A great variety of mingled emotions fill my mind, at tliis interesting period ; but I believe the pre- dominant one, is that of deep, heartfelt gratitude to the God and Father of all our mercies. I have been mercifully favoured with a secret support beyond all human aid, and the words of one of the Olney Hymns, have been frequently brought to my remem- brance : — " Upon my promise, rest tlij' hope, And keep my love in view, I stand engaged to bear thee up And l)ring thee safely through." 1830. J MKMOIRS 0¥ MARIA FOX. 215 Kith, Fourth-day. We are deeply impressed with the im- portance of ha\ang a religiously disposed person, to take charge of our precious children, one who will make it her care, to guard their tender minds from everything that is of an evil tendency, and to cherish the sweet impressions of heavenly love, which are often felt at a very early age. I have earnestly desired, we may be favoured to find one, who has the divine fear before her eyes, and the subject has cost me much thoughtfulness in my watchful hours ; but whilst endeavouring to commit these lambs into the l)est keeping, a sweet serenity overspread my mind, accompanied with the belief, that the Lord will provide for us in this respect also. Sixth-day. My soul bows, in humble gratitude, before the Lord, for all the blessings He has been pleased to bestow on me and mine. Surely, we may say, " Thou crownest the year with thy goodness." Oh ! that we may be stimulated by the review of past and present mercies, to a more earnest pursuit after that highest of all blessings, a spuitual communion with God the Father, tlirough our Lord Jesus Christ. Grant us, 0 Lord ! we beseech Thee, the spirit of grace and of supplications, that we may walk watchfully in thy fear, and be conformed to thy holy \\-ill. Enable us to devote ourselves and our all to thy disposal ; and Oh ! be pleased, we pray Thee, to take our precious children into thy good keeping ; sanctify them through thy truth, and preserve them from the evils of this sinful world. Strengthen us with holy resolution, to check whatever is of a hurtful tendency, and to cherish the precious seed of thy kingdom sown in their hearts. As thou wert with our dear, departed parents, so be Thou, we pray Thee, with their childi'en and our children, that we may be finally united, through thy tender mercy in Jesus Christ our Lord, before thy throne of glory, and eternally ascribe all praises unto Thee. 19i/;, Seventh-day. Feeling very low to-day, after a poor night. Oh ! for a more humble, resigned, submissive temper ! This disposition, we are bound to cultivate, in ouy small as well as in great trials. " The spirit is indeed willing, but the flesh is weak." 20^/) , First-day. In the retirement of my chamber, an earnest desire has been raised in my heart, that in returning to the vari- 216 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [18S0. ous cares and duties of life, if that be permitted, I may constantly endeavour to seek for daily strength from the Fountain of all strength, that 1 may dwell deep in my spirit, and retire frequently as into the cleft of the rock, where the Lord nourishes the faith of the lowly ones, with food which the world knows not of. This only can preserve us, poor, erring creatui-es as we are, from the many snares of our soul's enemy, and from that state of agitation and disquietude, which is so naturally produced by the pressure of a crowd of engagements, many of them, perhaps, trifling in themselves, yet nevertheless, appearing more or less as duties. May I, more and more, strive after the pious disposition of Mary, who, instead of being careful and troubled about many things, chose the one thing needful, that better part, winch, her Lord declared, should never be taken from her. 2'3rd, Fourth-day. It is, I trust, under feelings of lively gratitude to the great Giver of all blessings, that I am now going down stairs, to spend this evening in our usual sitting-room. Oh ! that the gradual return to family cares and duties, may be marked by a constant and unremitting endeavour after the enjoyment of that which is most excellent, — spiritual and secret communion with the Source of all good. I have been much led, of late, to a close review of my conduct, as the mistress of a family ; and my many deficiencies, as to the proper and diligent exercise of care for the religious improvement of my servants, have been painfully felt. I have long considered it as a very serious responsibility, to be entrusted with a sort of moral gniardianship, over persons, whose habits and modes of thinking are often so difi'erent, in many respects, from those we would wish them to entertain and adhere to, and I have found it very difficult to satisfy my own mind, as to the point at which authority should interpose, without an infringement of that liberty which is the right of all. I greatly desire that I may be enabled to watch over my own deportment, so as to give them no occasion of stimibling, and have firmness sufficient to admonish and restrain them, in the spirit of meekness, whenever I see anything that tends to their hui't. Tith, First-day. " If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not, and it shall be given him." This exhortation of the apostle to the 1830.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 217 early converts, is replete with encouragement, to persevere in daily and hourly application to the great Author of all spiritual gifts and graces. Siu'ely, it is our own fault, if we do not receive wisdom for our guidance in the path of duty, and strength to press forward in the heavenly race, seeing it is thus freely offered to those who sincerely seek it. Suffer me not, 0 Lord ! to lean on my own strength, which is perfect weakness, but rather may I de- pend upon Thee and Thee alone, for constant supplies of that which may enable me to walk before Thee, in reverence and godly fear, and to maintain a steady endeavour, to train up our children and servants in a religious life and conversation. 29th, Third-day. The good and gracious Creator, who formed our bodily and mental frame, only knows the depth and extent of their frailty, infirmity and weakness ; and his power alone, can give increase of strength to those who have no might of their own. May I be frequent and fervent in application to that God who can do all things for us ; and who hath taught us, in the Scrip- tures, to believe that He will keep them in perfect peace, whose minds are staid on Him. Oh ! blessed and delightful assurance ! confirmed by our adorable Saviour, when He said, " Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you ; not as the world giveth, give I unto you." — Amen : blessed Lord ! grant us a portion of this peace, we beseech Thee, and then all those things we now con- sider as trials, shall be sweetened, and shall M'ork together for our good. SOth, Fourth-day. In the evening, read some account of the late king, which interested me greatly. It appears, that for some weeks past, he has been aware of the probable termination of his accumulated illness ; and that he remained in full possession of his mental faculties to the last. May we not trace, in this pro- tracted and severe struggle, the merciful hand of a long-suffering and compassionate God, seeking, by the dispensation of heavy chastening, to bring this gay and thoughtless prince to a sense of his real condition ; to impress him fully with the solemn truth, that the rich and the poor, the mighty and the ignoble, must all descend into the narrow tomb, — " the house appointed for all living," and, that after death cometh the judgment, when all shall stand before the tribunal of Him, whose eyes are as a flame of fire. The all-searching eye can only fully estimate the extent 218 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1830. and compass of the temptations, the degree of moral danger, to which they are exposed, who are bom within the circle of a court, and who have to pass the inexperienced days of childhood and youth, in its contagious and contaminating atmosphere. And, whilst we are bound to believe, tliat if humbly sought for and believed in, the measure of heavenly grace would be proportioned to the difficulty and magnitude of the struggle, may we not con- clude, the divine forbearance is also great towards those who fail in such a tremendous ordeal, and that they are followed by the con\dctions of the Holy Spii'it, if happily they may be brought to turn, though at the eleventh hour, at the reproofs of instruction. Seventh Month 6th, Third-day. Oh ! that I may be enabled to retire into the secret place of safety, when the shafts of the cruel archer fly around. I am sorely tried and tempted, at times, by the enemy, who seeks to avail himself of the quick sensibility of my natui-e, in order to ruffle and distui-b that serenity of mind which ought to be maintained by the true christian. 0, gracious Lord ! cover us, I beseech Thee, with that impenetrable shield, which can repel all the fieiy darts of the wicked one. Grant, that we may be clad in thy whole armour of light, that so, no deadly wound may be received, but that, through the power of thy all-sufficient gi'ace, we may be preserved blameless and harmless. 11th, First-day. After supper, at the family reading, I felt most easy to impart to our servants, something of the concern I had long felt for their spiritual welfare, endeavomdng to direct their attention to that Savioiir, who died for the sins of the whole world. My dear sister also addi'essed them, and a petition was afterwards offered, on their behalf and our own. ^1th, Second-day. This is the anniversary of the day, on which my tenderly beloved and honoured father departed this life. The scenes of his last days, have been ^d^ddly present to my mind of late, and are attended now ^vith a poig-nancy of feeling, it is impossible for words to pourtray. Sixteen years have passed away, since he entered into rest ! how many events have marked their course to his children ! To him and our ever precious mother, gathered before him into the heavenly gamer, years are no more, but one eternal day of peace, and love, and joy. Lord ! prepare us for a blessed rc-union in thy kingdom, through the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. 18:30.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 219 13th, Third-da^. Our Monthly Meeting ; at which my be- loved sister laid before her friends, a prospect she has long had, of paying a religious visit to some of the meetings of Friends in Essex. It obtained solid consideration, and a certificate was ordered to be brought to our next Monthly Meeting. It was a time of deep feeling to myself, on many accounts. It is a real comfort, that my beloved sister has been strengthened to make this surrender, after many deep conflicts and discouragements, known fully, I believe, to none, but to that gracious God who seeth in secret, and who, I cannot doubt, will be near, to sustain her through the arduous work, and enable her, in the end, to acknowledge, that his grace is sufficient for all those who depend simply upon it. 18f/i, First-day. In our meeting, this morning, a petition arose in my heart, that we might know all the trials and sorrows of this present state sanctified to us, and that when the hand of the Lord is laid upon us, for our chastening, we may be humbled, under it, and be willing to hear " the rod, and look to Him who hath appointed it." 1\st, Fourth-daij. Went to our Quarterly Meeting, at Taun- ton. Sat the meeting for worship, under feelings of deep dis- couragement, as to my own state. Towards the conclusion, my dear sister addressed us, at some length, very instructively ; and if she had been able to do it earlier, I might have seen more clearly, what was right for myself. These meetings are generally times of considerable suflering to me. The fear of improperly stepping forward, and of interfering with the service of others, who may be under preparation to minister, often makes me back- ward to give utterance to any little feeling that may arise, and yet, I have at times found, the withholding more than is meet, tends to poverty. It is, indeed, a fearful thing, to be engaged in this way in the public assemblies, and I believe there is great safety in endeavouring to preserve, as much as may be, a state of inward watchfulness and silence ; but when the smallest offering is required, by that God who has an undoubted right to whatever we can render, it is our part to obey, — not to question or reason on the fitness of things. May I be instructed in all things, and learn more simplicity of faith ! 220 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FoX. [1830. To S. W. Teignmouth, Tenth Month 4th, 1830. My beloved S. W. I feel as if I could not well refrain from addressing thee once more, by a name so dear to me, though I have no fear that its exchange for a new one, will, in any degree, weaken the force of that tender attachment, which binds thee to my heart ; but, on the contrary, that it will open enlarged channels of in- terest, and may, some day, be the means of introducing me to a new and valuable acquaintance. Yet, as the day which is to mark an important era in the life of my beloved cousin, is nearly approaching, my thoughts turn to her with lively interest, and it is pleasant to offer her the salutation of cordial love and good wishes. That it may be to thee and thy dear friend, whose hap- piness and welfare is henceforth to be one with thy own, a day owned by divine favom', — a day on which you may look back with grateful hearts, in years to come, is my sincere desire. May the blessing of the Lord rest upon you, my precious S. ! and the heavenly dew descend around your dwelling ; may you be made true help-meets to each other, and, by your mutual dedication of heart, as well as by the depth and sincerity of your attachment, be made one another's joy in the Lord. Trials, we must all meet with, in the most favoured allotment ; and it is M ell for us that it should be so, or these poor, earth-bound spirits would cling yet more closely to the things of time, and be in danger of losing their hold on those blessed hopes, which are the earnest of a brighter inheritance. But what an unspeakable comfort it is, that when we resig-n ourselves into the divine hand, we are favoured at times, to see that the cup of life is mingled by marvellous wisdom, and that all its variety of ingredients are sweetened with the abundance of mercy, to the souls that trust in God ; so that the changes of circumstances and dispensations, instead of driving these from their anchor, serve only to enlarge their experience, and confirm their faith in that almighty Power, Avhich " is the same yesterday and to-day, and forever and they are enabled, as they pass along their earthly pilgrimage, again and again to make the thankful acknowledgment, " Hitherto hath the Lord helped us." Well, my dear cousin, I trust this may be your 1831.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 221 happy state, and that you will be strengthened, and strengthen each other, to stand nobly for the Lord's cause, in that large meeting, of which you will be members ; where the exercises of the faithful servants must be many. We know, however, that these, though they may often feel themselves a faint and feeble remnant, are not sent on a warfare at their own charges, but are under the immediate care and keeping of their great and gracious Leader, who will, as they are faithful to all his requir- ings, cover them with his shield, and will finally give them the victory From thy very nearly attached and interested, Maria S. Fox. To M. W. Wellington, Second Month 26th, 1831. Soon after this, thy poor cousins expect to set out on their western journey. You will not wonder that we have been brought very low in the prospect of this engagement ; but since it was cast before our friends, we have been favoured with a quiet, peaceful feeling in respect to it ; and though deeply sensible that in our " house is neither bread nor clothing,'' we desire to trust the futui-e, and that good hand, which, when it is opened in mercy, can satisfy the desire of every living thing. One thing connected with this subject, I must mention, because I know it will interest you considerably. A most unexpected letter from oui* dear fiiend, Daniel Wheeler, informs us, that he has laid before his Monthly Meeting, a concern to visit the meetings of Devonshire and Cornwall, and obtained its full unity. After taking this public step, he had some conversation with J. F., who was there, and from him, heard that we were similarly bound. He therefore writes to propose our uniting, so far as our views may be found to correspond, and speaks of coming direct from Sheffield to Wellington, in order to set forward together. You will be sure we consider it a favour, to have the prospect of such a companion in any part of the journey ; and it is matter of rejoicing, that this dear friend should be drawn out in this way, during his temporary residence in England. Thou knowest, we talked of writing to invite him to 222 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1831. Wellington, but never did so, and little thought of being banded with him in this manner Thy aifectionate cousin, Maria S. Fox. To M. W. Wellington, Fourth Month 2Gth, 1831. S3anpathy towards my dear M. is a prevalent feeling with me, because I know the circumstances under which you are now placed, are such as cannot fail to bring thee at times as into deep waters, but I tnist there are moments, when thou art enabled to repose in the fiiin belief, that all these trials shall ultimately work together for good, through faith in Him, who " is able to do exceeding abundantly" for us. Dear E.'s kind letter met us at Falmouth, and came at a very seasonable junctui-e, when we were brought very low, under the pressure of a visit to the families in that place. Thou wilt believe, it was a hximiliating work, and wilt not wonder, we were cast down in the prospect, and not less so, perhaps, in the performance ; but though it was for the most part a laborious, and we were sometimes ready to conclude, an unavailing, exercise, we were favoured, in some of the visits, with that precious refreshment which is not at our command. It was rather close work to get through before the Quarterly Meet- ing, which was at Falmouth, on the 1 3th inst. Then, as well as in a part of the family visit, we were favoured with the company of our dear friend, D. Wheeler, who returned safely from the Scilly Isles. He had an interesting, and I believe, satisfactory visit to the poor inhabitants of these islands, who are often ex- posed to great sufferings, from their precarious mode of life. They are chiefly dependent for support, on fishing and the piloting of vessels, and as the latter do not "visit them much, except when driven by stress of weather, it is mostly through the perils of the deep they earn their scanty subsistence. There appears great openness to receive the gospel message, and it is, I think, cause of thankfulness, that one so qualified to feel for them, has been sent. I trust our dear friend will have cause to look back with comfort, on his journey through the western counties, when it 1831.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 223 may once more be his lot to be a solitary exile. It has been par- ticularly acceptable to have his company, and to observe the humility and weightiness of his deportment. On reviewing the time we were together, we feel it a peculiar privilege to have been so associated, and desire we may lastingly profit by the oppor- tunity. Before we left Falmouth, we were unitedly bound to a public meeting there. The notice was pretty much confined to the seamen and persons connected with the vessels, — a numerous class, it being the port at which the government packets are chiefly stationed. It was a large meeting, principally composed of the description of persons intended, and we had cause humbly to acknowledge the extension of best help. After this, we parted with dear D. W. for a time. He went to Barnstaple to visit the few Friends there, and had also a large public meeting in the Methodist chapel. We went to the meetings of Triuro, Austle and Wadebridge, where we had not before been, and met him again at Exeter. The Quarterly Meeting for Devonshire, was held there on the 20th, and the following day, we came to a meet- ing with the little company at Spiceland. On the same evening, we reached our own home, and had the unspeakable comfort of finding our dear sister and the sweet children, pretty well Thy affectionate cousin, Maria S. Fox. Sixth Month 5th. Nearly a year has elapsed, since a memo- randum was written. How that year has passed, and what are the traces left on my mind by its various events, is an inquiry of awful importance. At the present time, the power of tempta- tion is strongly felt, and many are my tears and secret cries, that the Lord, who is almighty to deliver, would rebuke the devourer, for the sake of that adorable Redeemer, who was " mani- fested, that He might destroy the works of the devil." Oh ! thou Father of mercies and God of all comfort, make known thy power in the hearts of the feeblest of thy children ; enable me to repose on Thee in faith, to trust all to Thee, and to pray fervently that all the trials of this mixed state, may tend to further thy merciful designs towards my soul, and to prepare it, through thy grace, for " an inheritance incorruptible and undefiled, and that fadeth not 224 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1831. away/' when tlie few fleeting sands of life are run. Suffer not the enemy of our souls' happiness, to di-aw me off from those duties which are the business of every day, by delusive presentations of what may be more specious ; but guard me, 0 Lord ! on the right hand and on the left, and keep me from the paths of the destroyer. To M. W. Wellington, Eleventh Month 20th, 1831. The state of my spirits during the last few days, has been rather unfavourable to a congratulatory strain, having been called to participate much in the feelings of our dear C. and S., who have had to resign their precious child, at a very short notice. We all feel it, as being the first inroad of the pale messenger upon our infant band ; but the conviction that this tender lamb is for ever folded in the arms of the great Shepherd, that he has happily escaped the trials of time, forbids all mourning for him. Still, we cannot but enter into near sympathy with our dear brother and sister, in being so suddenly deprived'of a treasure, that was daily becoming more and more endearing How many of our dear friends, in almost every direction, have to taste the cup of affliction, and how much is there to awaken us to a consideration of those things which are eternal and unchangeable ! But I fear there is little disposition in the minds of the people generally, to humble themselves before the Lord, even now, when the rod of his judgments is so evidently uplifted.* We have, as a nation, ex- perienced the long-suffering and forbearance of our God, and who can marvel, if it should be given us to drink of the wine of his indig-nation ! I am afraid, my dear, thou wilt think I am dwelling very long on mournful cogitations. In a time like the present, it seems as if those who commune together of the state of the world and the church, must be sad ; but we know there is One on high, who is mightier than the noise of many waters, and who ruleth the raging of the sea. That He will carry forward his own great and glorious purposes through all, we cannot doubt ; and however the potsherds of the earth may • This filhides to the visitation of the cholera. 1832.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 225 strive together, or there may be distress of nations and great per- plexity, the time will ultimately come, when " the mountain of the Lord's house shall be established in the top of the mountains, and shall be exalted above the hills." To his good keeping and safe guidance may we be enabled to commend ourselves and each other Thy tenderly attached, M. S. Fox. To E. T— s. Wellington, First Month 2nd, 1832. My dear Cousin, I believe thou wilt excuse my not having used an earlier post, to reply to thy kind inquiries ; having had, within the past week, various claims on my attention, amidst the afflicted cii'cle around us. It was, however, truly cordial, to receive a few lines from one, who is so well qualified to sympathize in our sorrow, and whose aifectionate friendship, we value so highly. We have, indeed, had a series of events, of a very striking character, within a short period ; and this last bereavement* is deeply felt by us all. The course of our beloved, departed sister, has been swiftly run, and the mes- senger of her dismission from the cares and duties of a somewhat extensive sphere of usefulness, performed its solemn work M'ith formidable rapidity ; but the belief, that her conscientious mind was, as thou sweetly expressest it, " found ready," is unspeakably consoling to us, and enables us, at times, to look beyond the irre- parable breach that is made in our family circle, to that blessed state of rest and peace, into which, we humbly believe, her redeemed spirit has entered. Our beloved mother is an example of christian submission, under the acute sense of this heavy stroke. It is really strengthening, to observe her calm deportment, and the support that is afforded to her. We have had an interesting account of the solemn occasion at Newington, on Sixth-day last. It appears to have been a favoured and instructive time M. S. F. * The decease of her sister-in-law, A. Sanderson. Q 226 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1832. In the early part of this year, Maria Fox obtained the sanction of her Monthly IMeeting for some religious service^ among Friends and others, in the city of Bristol. A few particulars only of this engagement are preserved in the following letter. ^ To S. F. Bristol, Fourth Month 10th, 1832. Mt dearest S. It is quite a pleasure to have a little time, this morning, for conversing with thee, and to look forward to the gratification of receiving a letter to-night, which I hope may convey a good re- port of my treasures at home I must now endeavour to tell thee, how it has fared with me since we parted, as I know thou AvLlt wish to receive a particular account. That morning, M. S. accompanied me to the Friends' Workhouse, and we paid six visits to its inmates, in their several apartments. It is a truly comfortable place, though in a miserable neighbom-hood ; the streets near it, filled with ragged, dirty children, whose ap- pearance indicates the deplorable state of an indigent and demo- ralized population, crowded very thickly together. I was much interested with my visit ; it is so pleasant to see the care bestowed on those who inhabit this workhouse, and the comforts such an asylum affords, to such as are in want of friendly aid. In the afternoon, called to see a poor friend and his wife ; the husband in a very declining state of health. "We next went to the House of Refuge, where M. and L. W. joined us ; and we met the poor inmates of the institution, in the room in which they are usually assembled for reading the Scriptures. It was not the evening on which they generally receive visits, but they were all collected, and made a very neat appearance, in a plain, appropriate dress. I cannot tell thee what I felt, in going amongst them. After a short pause, I felt inclined to read to them the fifty-first psalm, and to make some remarks upon it ; and it pleased our gracious and compassionate Lord, to furnish ability to set before them, the nature and the dreadful con- sequences of sin, and to preach freely the word of reconciliation. 1832.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 227 Supplication was also made for these poor victims of human depravity, that they might not reject the offers of divine love and mercy. It was an affecting time We went to meeting yesterday, at the Friars ; it was nearly silent, except a few words towards the close. My mind was greatly engaged on a subject, which had occupied it since being at the workhouse, and which I felt most easy to communicate to a few friends after meeting, who entered very feelingly into the (to me) very formidable prospect, of having a meeting with the miserable people, who live around the Friends' Workhouse. Having seen at that institution, a large room used for a First-day school, I men- tioned it, supposing there would not be many who would be inclined to attend a meeting ; but it was the unanimous judgment of our friends, that the place would be totally inadequate, even if the notice were confined to one street ; so it was judged best, to have the Lancasterian School-room. It was thought, if a smaller place were used, it would be difficult to keep any sort of order amongst those who would be excluded, as they are, I believe, the refuse of the city, or at least the lowest class of its inhabitants. Indeed, from their appearance, I quite expected the Friends would be alarmed at the idea of collecting them together ; but it was a great comfort that they fully united in the prospect, and expressed their satis- faction, that these poor creatures were likely to be visited. It is, for the present, a relief to me, to have mentioned it. Sixth- day evening, is the time proposed. Thou knowest, my dear S., how grateful it would be to me to have thee here, if it be right ; but I do not ask thee to come, because I know thou wilt endea- vour to be in the right place, and fear it may not be in thy power. I trust thou wilt be favoured to see what is best about the day for thy coming, and, whatever thy decision may be, I believe I shall be satisfied, because we have sought to know our individual allotment in the present engagement. Thou wilt not wonder, that with the prospect of this meeting, all view of the poor seamen and their floating chapel, is obscured. Our friends are exceedingly kind, and my way has been made, in a manner which ought to make me very thankful and to humble me greatly. I trust my hard heart has been a little softened by the contriting influence of divine love, since q2 228 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1832. I came into this city. Oh ! that it may be more and more the case ! M. S. F. Ninth Month, 15th. Since the last memorandum was -written, how much has occurred, which ought to have left a deeply in- structive impression ! The close of 1 831 , was marked by a series of solemn events, nearly affecting our family circle ; and the present year, has, thus far, been replete with circumstances of various interest. My dear sister has had a long and painful con- finement to the house, from illness, and my time has been pretty closely occupied. This, and something of a fear lest I should acquire a habit of writing, without sufficiently feeling what is written, has operated to prevent my making memorandums, for some time past ; but I feel inclined, this morning, to com- memorate, in this way, the goodness of God towards one of the most unworthy. When I reflect on all the mercies we have ex- perienced in the past year, my heart is humbled within me, and in looking towards the future, I feel a degi'ee cf calm reliance on the same unfailing arm of power. I have had great peace in the consideration, which, for some time past, has prevailed in my mind, of the entire nothingness of the human medium, and of the overflowing fulness and suffi- ciency of the Fountain of all good. The eternal, unchangeable Jehovah, is the source from whence all that can truly comfort or profit his people, must be derived, and when He is pleased to pour the waters of life from this fountain, it is of little im- portance what channel He may select, for the communication of it. " We are nothing, Christ is all," — the strength, the wisdom, and the righteousness of his people. My mind has been much humbled and instructed in the course of some religious engagements, during the present year, and I trust, my faith confirmed in the unchangeable promises of God, who, when He is pleased to operate by his own power, can make the weak things of this world, and things that are despised, subser- vient to his glory. I have lately seen, very strongly, the necessity of pursuing, in simplicity and with a single eye to the Lord Jesus, our various paths of duty, without reasoning too much on 1832.] MEMOIUS OF MARIA FOX. 229 the sentiments and opinions of others. Far be it from me to undervalue the privilege of christian sympathy ; it is so excellent a thing, that I am ready to think I have often suffered from desiring it too strongly ; but such is the difference of natural temperament, and such the diversity of gifts, in those who are nevertheless seeking to walk by the same rule and to mind the same thing, that the christian traveller often finds himself disap- pointed, where he imagines he has some reason to expect a fellow- feeling with his religious exercises. " Looking unto Jesus," is the safest watchword for him. I often compare, (and think I have read such a comparison somewhere,) those who are en- deavouring; to follow their Lord and Saviour, but whose natural dispositions are dissimilar and their paths of duty various, to a company of vessels sailing from the same port, under one great commander, and bound to the same haven, but from the force of stormy winds, or the prevalence of hazy weather, seldom getting sight of each other during the voyage. If permitted to anchor safely in the port of everlasting rest, how joyfully will they meet in the presence of their Lord ; how full, complete and blissful, will be their union, and how contemptible will those things appear, which prevented them from realizing the full enjoy- ment of it in the world below ! Let us endeavour" to anticipate this blessed state : the frequent contemplation of it, may have a tendency to strengthen our love, and to give us more of that spirit which is the happiness of saints in heaven. 29th. Lord ! increase in us the spirit of prayer ; give us to know more and more of the spirit of grace and of supplications. " Prayer makes the christian's annour bright," is a sentiment expressed in one of our hymns ; but it seems to me, to be, in some sort, the armour itself What else shall we oppose to the assaults of our common enemy ! We have no strength to resist him, in his cruel bufietings, or in his wily and insidious temp- tations. To pray without ceasing, to cultivate that state of watchful dependence, in which, under all circumstances, we can lift up our hearts to that gracious and compassionate Saviour, who is not only the strength and the wisdom, but the righteous- ness of his people, is our only safety. What privileges we lose, for want of being more deeply and stedfastly convinced of this ! 230 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1832. The following was addressed to a young friend^ on the loss of a near relative. " It is well."— 2 Kings iv. 26. It is well, in the guidance of infinite love. It is Avell, in the counsels of God only wise, It is well with the soul, whose best hopes ai-e above, Whose thoughts all aspire to a home in the skies, 'Tis true, we 've a changeable climate below ; We have sunshine and storm, parching drought and cool showers ; On our spring-time of promise, the wintry winds blow, To blight our fair fruits, and to scatter our flowers. The bud, that before us in loveliness blows, Sheds its delicate leaves on our path, and is o'er ; The tree, in whose covert we loved to repose, Bows its head to the spoiler, and shades us no more. But the sunbeam, that painted that beautiful flower. The soft dews, that nurtured that shadowing tree. Retain all their freshness, their warmth and their power, An unchangeable promise secures them to me. Shall I mourn then ? oh, yes ! but I may not repine ; It is well, in the counsels of infinite love ; It is well, when my choicest delights I resign To the all-perfect will of my Father above. I weep, — but in sorrow's most desolate hour, My Saviour is nigh, and He sees all my tears ; In the cloud of my grief, though it heavily lower. The soul-cheering bow of his mercy appears. It is well ! the fair symbol of covenant grace. The pledge of God's truth to the feeble in heart. The mountains shall tremble, the rocks leave their place. Ere his word shall be broken, his kindness depart. Press on then, my soul, be thou stedfast till death, No perishing crown to the faithful is given ; Let thy prayers be more fervent, more constant thy faith, Thy home is above, thy best treasure in heaven. Tenth Month 6th. 1832.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 231 Eleventh Month 2nd. Oh ! for a more realizing view of heavenly things, — for a fixedness of heart on those joys which are unchangeable and eternal ! The frequent contemplation of a state of perfect love and perfect happiness, in the enjoyment of that God who is love, must, I think, have a tendency to produce in us, some conformity to the mind which was in Christ Jesus, and to bring us into a state of true charity with all who are pressing towards the heavenly kingdom, though their opinions and sentiments, on many subjects, may differ from our own. Lord ! grant us more of this divine charity, which is the greatest of the christian graces : " Knowledge puffeth up, but charity edifieth." The more our attention is fixed on the Sun of righteousness, from whom, all inferior orbs, however various in their order or magnitude, derive their light, the more we shall be cheered, vivified and nourished by his beams, and the more we shall ex- perience a real growth in grace, and in the sa'vdng knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. There is a speculative knowledge, which dwells much in words, is specious in doctrines, and boasts of great attainments in the heavenly mysteries, — is showy, dazzling, and, to superficial observers, passes current for sincere piety ; and there is an experimental knowledge, which is meek, lowly and unobtrusive, more employed in seeking after conformity to the will of God, in studying the perfections of our divine and all- sufiicient Saviour, and in secret prostration at the foot of his cross, than in noisy disputation or polemical discussion ; — dan- gerous ground, at best, even for experienced christians, and those who find it their duty to engage in it, had need to be closely girded with the whole armour of light ; for it is on this ground, the enemy of all good, loves to throw his envenomed shafts at the champions of truth, and, if possible, he will wound them, some way or other, in the combat. Happy they, who are permitted to retreat into the covert, where the good Shepherd feeds his little ones, and who know the fulfilment of that gracious assurance, " Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is staid on Thee." " Ah ! give me, Lord, the single eye, Which aims at nought but Thee ; I fain would live, and yet, not I, But Jesus live in me." 232 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1833. To M. W, Wellington, First Month 22nd, 1833. I fancy thee now, my dear cousin, once more a sojourner in the place of thy nativity ; and there, my heart has often saluted thee, as one, who, in the midst of abundant outward comforts, and many social privileges, is nevertheless often sad at heart, and disposed to pensive, if not mournful, ruminations. It cannot be otherwise, at seasons, with the truly feeling and re- flecting mind ; and perhaps, though our trials arise from diflPerent causes, and the circumstances by which we are surrounded, are various, the cup of life is more equally mingled than we are aware of. Both of us, I believe, are prepared to acknowledge, that in its mixed composition, the loving kindness and tender mercy of our God, have ever been predominating ingredients, and that it has been made to overflow with blessings, even when its taste has been most bitter ; and so, I humbly trust, my beloved cousin, we shall yet find it, through the manifestation of that Spirit which helpeth our infirmities, and giveth us, at times, to see and feel the preciousness of the chastenings, which are from our Heavenly Father's hand Thou wilt perceive, we are not left without our chastisements, and I greatly desire they may be made to yield to our souls the peaceable fruit of righteousness, through the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. Our beloved mother con- tinues with us, in a very weak and sinking state ; at times, she suffiers much, yet is very patient and tranquil, and we feel it a privilege to sit by her bed. My visits to her chamber are less frequent than those of her other daughters-in-law, having less bodily capability at present, and the constant claims of an invalid at home ; but once in every week, at least, I endeavour to spend the most part of a day at Tonedale ; where we deeply feel the chasm that will be made in our circle, when the separating stroke shall come, and deprive us of an honoured parent, who has affec- tionately cherished all her children, and who, for a long course of years, has been the central point of a large circle Thy tenderly attached, M. S. Fox. 'f/iird Month I'Sth, Fourth-day. " Bless the Lord, Oh my 1833.] MKMOIRS UF MARIA FOX. 233 soul ! and forget not all his benefits." I desire reverently and thankfully to acknowledge the goodness and mercy of God, to one of his most unworthy children, in that it hath pleased Him, gTaciously to sustain and uphold my spirit by the word of his power ; for it is not of ourselves, that we are enabled to lift up our hearts to Him in faith, or to feel, from day to day, a calm, confiding trust, that all which concerneth us, will be directed by infinite love and perfect wisdom. Many and various are my feel- ings, in looking towards an interesting period now drawing near ; but though there are moments, when the great adversary of souls tries to fill me mth disheartening fears, or to unsettle me with gloomy apprehensions, I am, for the most part, preserved in peaceful reliance on the covenant mercies of God my Saviour, and enabled to believe, that He will do all things well. He hath mercifully permitted me, from time to time, to draw near to his sacred foot- stool, to commit those who are dearest to me, yea, and my own soul also, into his most holy keeping, in the precious conviction, that whatever may be his designs concerning 'me, as to the present life, He hath not in anger " turned away my prayer, nor his mercy from me." 30th, Seventh-day. This day, being my birth-day, could not fail to bring with it many serious reflections. The charge of Moses to the assembled tribes of Israel, when he recounted to them the mighty acts of God, has been much in my mind. " Thou shalt remember all the way which the Lord thy God led thee, these forty years in the wilderness." 0 my soul ! thou art indeed especially called upon, to consider and to admire, with humble and adoring gi-atitude, the way by which thou hast been led ; the difiiculties, the temptations, the deliverances, and above all, the multiplied and abounding mercies thou hast experienced. " Thou shalt remember all the way which the Lord thy God led thee, these forty years in the wilderness, to humble thee and to prove thee, to know what was in thine heart, whether thou wouldst keep his commandment or no ; and He humbled thee, and suffered thee to hunger, and fed thee with manna which thou knewest not, neither did thy fathers know, that He might make thee know, that man doth not live by bread only, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of the Lord, doth man 234 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1833. live." " Thou shalt also consider in thine heart, that as a man chasteneth his son, so the Lord thy God chasteneth thee. There- fore, thou shalt keep the commandments of the Lord thy God, to walk in his ways and to fear Him." Four times ten years have passed over my head, since it pleased the great Giver of every good gift, to bestow on me the precious boon of existence ; and how have they been marked ? They seem to me now, on endeavouring to retrace their varied scenes and circumstances, to arrange themselves into four periods, having each its own characteristic experience. In the ten years of childhood, I enjoyed the tender care of pious parents, whose unremitting endeavour it was, to train up their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, to introduce them, early, to an acquaintance with the Holy Scrip- tures, and, by wise and judicious culture, to prepare the soil of the heart, for the operations of the heavenly Husbandman. Being of a high spirit and volatile temper, my disposition rendered re- straint as needful as it was irksome, and often brought my tenderly affectionate parents into deep anxiety on my account. Many and fervent were their prayers, I doubt not, that I might be brought under the regulating influence of the Holy Spirit, and be led to see the beauty of the truth as it is in Jesus ; and these, their petitions, I have often since considered, as the richest inheri- tance they could bequeath to their children. Very early, was my heart made sensible of the love of God, and strong desires were at times raised in my soul, to become one of his children ; but, not- withstanding these good impressions, and my love of the Holy Scriptures, which I read much and with great delight, the next ten years were, for the most part, years of inconsideration and levity. In the course of them, we were deprived of our excellent mother, whose example was peculiarly instructive, and her counsels pru- dent, judicious and affectionate. My thoughts often recur, with bitter anguish, to the few years which immediately followed her death, when I might have afforded so much solace to my tender and deeply sorrowing father, had my heart been but duly subjected to the restraining power of the cross of Christ. And, Oh ! what cause have I to adore the preventing grace, which saved my feet from the path of destruction, at a time when my own folly and 1833.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 235 inconsideration, would have made me an easy prey of our soul's enemy. Then, perhaps, were those prayers of my beloved parents, which had for so many years been offered up, permitted to descend on their unworthy child, in the blessing of that God, who heareth and answereth prayer, and who, in his tender mercy, -vtas pleased to follow me with the reproofs of instruction. The ten years subsequent to this, were years of chastisement and discipline variously administered. Our inestimable father was taken from us, under circumstances, which, even now, move every feeling; within me, when they are vividly brought to re- membrance. After his redeemed spirit had joined its beloved com- panion, in the world of rest and purity, a series of trials, — some, of my own procuring for want of prayerful dependence on an Al- mighty Saviour, — some, more directly in the course of providential dispensation, were made the means of humbling and softening, in some degTee, my hard, obdurate heart. I was bi'ought to feel my own sinfulness, helplessness and misery, and to cry, I humbly trust, in sincerity of soul, " God be mei'ciful to me a sinner," to lie prostrate at the feet of Jesus, my compassionate Saviour, and, in a precious feeling of resignation to his will, to beg that He would do with me whatsoever seemed good in his sight. Then was the love of Clirist felt to be a constraining principle, and after many deep conflicts of spirit, I was made to bow before the Lord, and brought to a willingness to testify to others, what He had done for my soul. In our Quarterly Meeting, at Poole, a few days after the completion of my thirtieth year, I first spoke in the character of a minister, in those words of the psalmist, " How great is thy goodness, which Thou hast laid up for them that fear Thee." The sweet peace, I was- permitted to enjoy for a short time after- wards, no language can describe ; — a sense of the pardoning love of God in Christ Jesus my Lord, which seemed to swallow up my spirit, and leave nothing to disturb the soul's repose on his infinite and everlasting mercy. " Bless the Lord, 0 my soul ! and all that is within me, bless his holy name. Bless the Lord, 0 my soul ! and forget not all his benefits." And now, what shall I say of the last ten years ? What a record would they present of the faithfulness of God ; of the tender care and matchless mercy of my covenant Lord and Saviour, and of my own ingratitude, unfaithfulness and negli- 236 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1833. gence. My cup lias, indeed, been made to overflow mth bless- ings. In the faithful partner of my joys and sorrows, in the precious childicn God hath given us, and in a large cii"cle of kind, affectionate and worthy relatives, I feel that I am rich indeed. To me, belongeth only confusion of face ; but I trust I may acknowledge, ^"ith reverent gratitude, that to these temporal mercies, my Heavenly Father, in his abounding goodness, has been pleased to superadd somewhat of the blessings of the heaven above, to show me more clearly the sinfulness and depravity of my ovra heart, and to give me stronger and fuller -views of the glory of that gospel, which "is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth." Here, then, let me set up an Ebenezer and say, — Hitherto hath the Lord helped me. Whether days or years may be added to the fleeting span of life, is known only to Him, who seeth the end from the befrinnina:. Wonderful in counsel and excellent in working. He doeth all things well : to this only wise God, our Saviour, I desire to commit myself and those dearest to me. Fourth Month 6th, Seventh-day. Paid a sweet visit to our beloved mother, who has, for several months past, been confined almost entirely to her bed, under the gradually wasting progress of an incurable malady. When I arrived at Tonedale, this morning, our dear invalid was too ill to see any besides those in immediate attendance, but, in the afternoon, being somewhat re- lieved, I was admitted to her chamber. I found a perceptible alteration in her appearance, since I visited her a few days before ; but the sweet tranquillity that surrounded the couch, seemed like an earnest of the rest which awaited the long aflhcted and sorrow- ing spirit. Notwithstanding the weakness and suffering under which our dear parent laboured, she entered, with lively interest, into what more particularly affected others ; asked many questions about our dear children ; spoke of their little gratifications, and displayed, in various ways, that affectionate consideration, for which she was so remarkable. She took leave of me, most ten- derly, at parting, and I left her bed-side with the apprehension, that the days of her mourning were almost ended, and that the dawn of a glorious and never-ending day, was about to rise on her humble and lowly spirit. 9th, Third-day. About one o'clock, this afternoon, the spirit 1833.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 237 of our beloved mother was liberated from its afflicted tabernacle, and so gently, that it was difficult to those around, to mark the precise moment, at which the vital spark was extinguished. The members of the family who were in the house, could scarcely be summoned in time. Very soon however, twelve brothers and sisters surrounded the bed, where the dear remains were resting, as in an easy and natural slumber, with a peculiar sweetness of expression ; and we partook together of a precious quiet. Our brother S. was enabled to offer vocally, the tribute of thanksgiving and praise, which I trust was felt by all, in that it has pleased the God and Father of all our mercies to say, " It is enough to set the spirit free from its suffering tabernacle, and, through the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, to minister an entrance abundantly into his everlasting; kingdom of undefiled rest. We have indeed lost much in the departure of this exemplary parent, who watched over her numerous family with tender love and christian solicitude ; but our loss is, we fully and confidingly believe, her eternal gain, and therefore, we are bound to give thanks on her account, and to esteem it a favour, that we enjoyed, to so late a period, the privi- leges of her affectionate care and counsel. Our dear mother had just completed her seventy-fourth year. 238 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1833. CHAPTER X. 1833 — 1835. Character as a mother — Bh-th of a son — Her sister's liealth declines — Deatli of her aunt, M. 11. — Religious engagements — Lame- ness— Illness in family — Stay at Ilfracombe — Religious engagement in Lancashire and Yorkshire — Her sister's increased illness and decease. The birth of her third and youngest child, seems to furnish an appropriate opportunity, for making some reference to Maria Fox's chaiacter, in the important and interesting relation of a mother. Without such an allusion, however brief, this Memoir would be incom- plete indeed, for with whatever feelings of partiality, her character may be contemplated in other points of view, it was in this, that some of its loveliest features were exhibited. Sympathy with others, was, in no common degree, a trait of her disposition, and to this, may be traced, in part, the lively interest with which she entered into the pursuits, and pleasures, and feelings of her children, so that, when in their society, she seemed, in some sort, to identify herself with them. She ever deemed it important, to render their childhood a happy period, not by withdrawing those restraints which a christian parent is bound to impose, but by encircling them as with an atmosphere of kindness and love. From their earliest infancy, it was her anxious desire, to train them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, to bring them to the feet of their Saviour, to shield them from temptation, and, above all, by her own deport- 1833.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 239 ment, to present to their view, a constant and practical illustration of the substantial privileges, the happiness and peace, resulting from a life of religion. Deep and abiding was her sense of responsibility, and frequent and fervent were her petitions, not only that she might be enabled, rightly to perform her part in respect to her beloved children, but that the Lord himself would be pleased to keep them, and bless them, and carry for- ward his own work in their souls. Fourth Month 2'ith, Fourth-dai/. " In the day when I cried, Thou answeredst me, and strengthenedst me with strength in my soul." How many of the Lord's servants, in every age of the world and in every variety of circumstances, have cried unto Him and received strength, since the day when the psalmist re- corded, in this touching language, his grateful sense of the sup- port afforded to his own soul. And now it hath pleased a gracious and covenant-keeping God, to give me (one of the most unworthy of those who call upon Him) fresh occasion to commemorate his name, and to say, " In the day when I cried, Thou answeredst me, and strengthenedst me with strength in my soul." In the remembrance of his mercy, my heart is humbled within me. Oh ! that I may be enabled to praise Him for all his goodness, and to trust Him, that He will yet bless us and ours, giving us to sing together of the multitude of his mercies. Fifth Month 6th, Second-day. Felt perturbed in mind, and anxious, during the night, on many accounts, especially respecting the dear children and my beloved sister, whose wasted frame and worn countenance bespeak a degree of weakness and prostration, which is very affecting to me. Whilst I was musing on these different causes of though tfulness, I was comforted by those words of the apostle Peter, " Casting all your care upon Him, for He careth for you ;" and throughout the day, though my mind has not been so calm and confiding as I desire, they have afforded me encouragement and support. What an assurance is this, that the eternal, unchangeable, almighty God, cares for us, his poor, feeble, 240 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1833. helpless creatures, and invites us to cast all our care upon Him. We are apt to think, if we had this or that assistance from our fellow-mortals, we should do better than we do ; but what human aid is to be compared with the tender, the compassionate, the in- finitely wise superintendence of our Heavenly Father and Friend ? He knows our frame, and every secret working of the minds He has created ; He knows, perfectly, what ahU aid, and what will injure us ; what will advance, and what retard, our highest hap- piness. Who then, with such a God to call upon, such a Saviour to trust in, can want anything that is really good ! Be humbled, 0 my soul ! under the sense of thy ingratitude and unbelief, and henceforth bring all thy cares, thy anxieties and thy burdens, to the feet of thy covenant God and Saviour, of Him who hath said, " Call upon me in the day of trouble, I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me." 21st, Third-day. Since the last memorandum was written, my dear sister has appeared rather to lose ground, than otherwise ; and we have had other indisposition in our family ; so that, on my entering again upon domestic duties, I found myself sur- rounded by circumstances, in which I greatly needed a calm, con- fiding spirit. But, alas ! notwithstanding the view so lately given me, of the tender care of our Heavenly Father towards his unworthy children, how was my poor, unstable mind, a prey to anxiety, and filled with dismay. Physical weakness might be, in some sort, the cause, but certainly there was a lamentable want of that patient submission, which would have enabled me to fulfil with composure, the duties of each day, and led me to trace in all these things, the hand of love and mercy. My dear sister has been so long the companion of my life, and has ever devoted her- self so assiduously to the promotion of my comfort, in sickness and in health, that I must be ungrateful and insensible indeed, if I did not tenderly sympathize in all her sufferings. The desire and prayer of my heart is, to be enabled to commit her to the care of the great and good Shepherd, who watches, with com- passionate kindness, over all his flock ; and who will not suffer his afilicted people to be cast down below hope, though He may deeply and closely prove their faith and patience. He knows the end from the beginning, and his counsels of old are faithfulness 1833.] MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. 241 and truth. Oh ! that I could more fully trust Him, and repose on his love. Sixth Month, 2nd. 1 think I have felt, to-day, some thankful sense of the Lord's tender care and compassionate kindness, dis- played towards me and mine. To Him be all the praise ! for in me dwelleth no good thing. My mind is too often occupied with petty cares, and filled with vain disquiet, and it is only when a ray of heavenly love and light breaks in upon the soul, that it can so far rise above the encumbering trifles of time, as to feel the glow of gratitude towards the great Giver of all its temporal and spiritual blessings, or be quickened with that holy desire which pervaded the heart of the psalmist, wten he said, " What shall I render unto the Lord, for all liis benefits towards me V Tenth Month. A few weeks ago, I received information, that my dear aunt M. Hoyland, and her daughter, who have been spending some time at Clifton, had decided on returning to Waterford. To me, this was a close trial, though it had been looked forward to. They sailed from Bristol, on the morning of the 17th inst., and had a rough passage of thirty- five hours, during which, they suffered severe sickness. My dear aunt, in particiUar, was so entirely exhausted, that on their landing, her friends could not but be apprehensive of her sinking under it. She was taken to the house of her friends, W. and L. Peet, and nursed with great care and kindness. During several days, she was very low and weak, and had considerable fever, but the physician who attended her, did not apprehend danger ; he thought rest and stillness would restore the exhausted powers of nature. But it pleased Infinite Wisdom to order it otlierwise, and her redeemed spirit was gently set free from its worn taber- nacle. To us, this bereaving stroke was somewhat like the severing of a still nearer tie, her care for us having been almost parental ; and the consciousness, that she is no more an inhabitant of earth, cannot fail to fill our hearts with that sorrow which is natural and allowable. But, I trust, we are enabled to look beyond the grave, to those bright regions, where she is now, we fully believe, for ever at rest, and through the grace of her Re- deemer, presented faultless before the throne of God. May the Holy Spirit, the everlasting Comforter, apply to our hearts a 242 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1833. realizing sense of this state of eternal blessedness, and bow our spirits before the throne of grace, humbly to supplicate for our - selves and for our childi-en, that we may be made partakers in the same gTeat salvation, through Jesus Christ our Lord. The remains of our beloved aunt were deposited in the same grave with those of her husband, who had been buried at Waterford, thirty-two years before. During this long period of separation from her dearest earthly friend, she had been " a widow indeed," and we confidingly believe, their happy spirits are now forever united in the kingdom of Christ and of God. To M. F— r. Wellington, I9th of Twelfth Month, 1833. Mt dear Friend, It has long been in my heart to write a few lines to thee, with whom my thoughts have often been in affectionate sympathy ; but various circumstances, added to the daily claims on my time, have left me little leisure and less capacity, for this employ. They have not, however, prevented me from mentally visiting thee, from time to time, in that dwelling, where thou hast so long shared and so abundantly soothed, the sorrows of a highly valued and truly valuable friend, — a dwelling, I can fully believe, made now very solitaiy to thee, by a late solemn event. For though, to the re- deemed spirit of our dear, departed relative, we cannot doubt the change is unspeakably glorious ; and thou, who wast so intimately acquainted with the many griefs and sufferings which encom- passed her, whilst an inhabitant of a sinking tabernacle, must be especially prepared to rejoice, in the joy of an entrance being ministered unto her " abundantly, into the everlasting kingdom of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Cluist yet it is not possible to have the endearing connexions we have formed on earth, thus dis- solved, without the heart being deeply touched ; and where the claims on affectionate kindness and on personal exertion, have been so pressing and so continued, there is, perhaps, a still more lively perception of the chasm made by the hand of death. We too, my dear fiiend, have been called to give up a very dear re- lative, on whose judicious counsel and tender sympathy, we were wont to lean with intimate confidence. The conclusion of my 1833.] MEMOIRS OP MARIA FOX. 243 beloved aunt, to return to Ireland, was, in itself, a heavy trial to us ; so heavy, that both she and ourselves, so far shrunk from it, as never to have taken a formal leave of each other ; but when she last visited us at Wellington, my heart painfully foreboded, that we should meet her no more on earth ; so frail was her general appearance, and so did the precious spirit seem to be tending towards the glorious haven of its long desired rest. Still, to receive the tidings so soon after they quitted our land, aggra- vated as they were by the belief, that the severe sickness suffered during a boisterous passage, had been the accelerating cause, was, I assure thee, my dear friend, an agonizing stroke to us. On this, however, we desire to be preserved from unprofitably reasoning, because the Judge of all the earth doeth right, and He could have removed her by any other means, if the time was come, when it was consistent with his perfect wisdom, to release her from all the many conflicts of a tribulated pilgi-image, and receive her to his unclouded and eternal rest. Thither, we cannot doubt, she is gone, through the merits and mercy of her dear Redeemer ; and, with the just of all generations, is now presented faultless before the throne. That tliis blessed and glorious exchange should be realized by two such long attached friends and contemporaries, within a few days of each other, was a striking coincidence. Well, my beloved friend, may we feel the removal of those who have been as waymarks, and whose example preached power- fully ; but let us not cast away our confidence, seeing that adorable Redeemer, by whose grace alone they were what they were, still lives, and is all-mighty to strengthen, all-gracious to succour, those who put their trust in Him. To this covenant God and the word of his grace, may we be able to commend one another, and to press toward the mark, for the prize which they have so happily attained Thy affectionate and sympathizing, Maria S, Fox. About this time, Maria Fox obtained the concur- rence of her Monthly Meeting, for holding meetings in the neighbourhood of Wellington, for persons not of our religious Society. Several of these were held, — of E 2 244 MEMOIRS OF MARIA FOX. [1834. such an interesting and satisfactory character, that it is to be regretted, that so shght reference to them, is found in her journal and letters. To M. Y. Wellington, Twelfth Month 22nd, 1833. My dear M., Perhaps thou wilt ask, how I have been faring since the day we parted.* I wish I coidd say, — resting in deep humility at the foot of the cross ; but alas ! the foe without, and the traitor within, have been too often in league to di'ag me thence, and to occupy me with many things that are not promotive of that state, beau- tifully described by David, when he said, " Return unto thy rest, 0 my soul ! for the Lord hath dealt bountifully with thee." Still, I trust I may say, in reference to the past, I feel there is cause for deep and reverent gratitude ; and for the future, I desire to trust the goodness of that gracious God, who has hitherto helped us, and who does not require us to move, whilst the cloud is on the tabernacle. Some things have tended to depress us, but if we could more completely and constantly trust the great Head of the chui'ch, to carry forward his own work, in such manner as He sees meet, without so much reasoning on what appears in- comprehensible to our bird's-eye vision, it would be much to our profit Thy affectionate, M. S. F. 1834. First Month. Another year has passed away, and, in re- viewing the principal events, which, to us, have marked its course, we find much to fill our minds with humbling and profitable re- flections. That God in whose hand is the frail thread of our existence, has been pleased to make it the opening and the closing year of life, to some closely united to us. In the birth of our precious J., and in the now promising appearance of this infant child, we have a loud call on our gratitude to the great Giver of every good gift. Nor is the tribute of thanksgiving and praise, less appropriate or less called for, in events which have bereaved * This refers to a meeting, held in the Baptist chapel, at Wellington. 1834.J MKMOIKS OF MARIA FOX. 245 us of those we loved and honoured, and on whom we leaned for counsel and support. They are taken from us, and oui- tears will flow, when we remember their watchful love, their christian and parental sympathy ; but they are, we humbly believe, for ever freed from pain and sorrow,