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 LIBRARY OF THE THEOLOGICAL SEMINARY 
 
 PRINCETON, N. J. 
 
 Purchased by the 
 Mrs. Robert Lenox Kennedy Church History Fund. 
 
 Division. 
 
 Section. 
 
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 FEB 16 1929 
 
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 AN ENGLISHWOMAN IN UTAIT 
 
 THE STORY Of 
 
 A Life's Experience in Mormonism. 
 
 gilt guifobtognijjbir: 
 
 by y 
 Mrs. T. B. H. STENHOUSE, 
 
 OF SALT LAKE CITY, 
 
 FOR MOKE THAN TWENTY-FIVE YEARS THE WIFE OF A MORMON MISSIONARY 
 AND ELDER. 
 
 With Introductory Preface by Mrs. Harriet Beecher Stow;:. 
 
 INCLUDING A FULL ACCOUNT OF 
 
 THE MOUNTAIN MEADOWS MASSACRE, 
 
 AND OF THE 
 
 LIFE, CONFESSION, AND EXECUTION OF BISHOP JOHN D. LEE. 
 
 FULLY ILLUSTRATED. 
 
 EourJOII : 
 SAMPSON LOW, MARSTON, SEARLE, & RIVINGTON, 
 
 CROWN BUILDINGS, 188, FLEET STREET. 
 1S80. 
 [All rights reserved. ] 
 
TO 
 
 MY CHILDREN; 
 
 "WITH 
 
 ALL A MOTHER'S LOVE AND TENDERNESS, 
 
 THIS VOLUME, 
 
 THE 
 
 STORY OF MY LIFE'S EXPERIENCE, 
 
 is 
 
 AFFECTIONATELY INSCRIBED. 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 CHAP. 
 
 I. My Eaely Life 
 
 II. My First Introduction to Mormon ism 
 
 III. The Labour of my Life begun— How the Mormon 
 
 Missionaries made Converts .... 
 
 IV. Life among the Saints — My New Evgagements 
 V. The First Whisperings of Polygamy 
 
 VI. My Husband's Mission — I am left Alone 
 VII. Our Mission in Switzerland — Mutterings of the 
 Coming Storm ....... 
 
 VIII. The Revelation on "Celestial Marriage" 
 IX. Missionary Work— Teaching Polygamy 
 
 X. Mormonism IN England — Preparing- to Emi rate 
 
 XL Emigrating to Zion— We Arrive in New York 
 
 XII. Life in New York— Conducting a Mormon Paper 
 
 XIII. Saintly Pilgrims on the way— the "Divine" Hand 
 
 cart Scheme ....... 
 
 XIV. A Terrible Story — The Hand-cart Emigrants 
 
 crossing the Plains ..... 
 
 XV. Mary Burton's Story continued — Terrible ending 
 
 of the Hand-Cart Scheme 
 XVI. We forsake all, and set out for Zion— Our 
 
 Journey across the Plains .... 
 XVII. My First Impressions of the City of the Saints 
 XVIII, Brigham Young at Home — We visit the Prophe 
 
 and his Wives 
 
 XIX. The Wives of Brigham Young -Their History 
 
 and their Daily Life 
 
 XX. Ways and Works of the Saints— The Prophet' 
 
 Millinery Bill ■ 
 
 XXI. Mysteries of the Endowment House — Fearful Oath 
 
 and Secret Ceremonies ..... 
 XXII. Secrets of Saintly Spouses — A Visit from my Talk 
 
 ative Friend 
 
 XXUI. Social Life in Salt Lake City— Ballrooms, " Wall 
 Flowers," and Divorce 
 
 PAGS 
 1 
 
 7 
 
 16 
 25 
 33 
 41 
 
 56 
 67 
 76 
 86 
 97 
 103 
 
 111 
 
 123 
 
 132 
 
 145 
 
 152 
 
 163 
 168 
 179 
 1S9 
 202 
 209 
 
xii Contents. 
 
 CHAP. PAGE 
 
 XXIV. The Origin of "The Reformation" — Extraordinary 
 
 Doings of the Saints 224 
 
 XXV. The "Reign of Terror" in Utah — The Reforma- 
 tion of the Saints 235 
 
 XXVI. The Mountain Meadows Massacre — "I will Repay, 
 
 saith the Lord " . . . . . . . 247 
 
 XXVII. What Women Suffer in Polygamy — The Story of 
 
 Mary Burton 259 
 
 XXVIII. How Marriages are made in Utah — A New Wife 
 
 FOUND FOR MY HUSBAND 268 
 
 XXIX. Taking a Second Wife — The Experience of the 
 
 First 278 
 
 XXX. Trials — The Second Wife chosen — Shadows of Life 2S5 
 XXXI. Marriage for the Dead — Entering into Polygamy — 
 
 The New Wife 293 
 
 XXXII. Domestic Arrangements of the Saints — Polygamy 
 
 from a Woman's Standpoint 299 
 
 XXXIII. Lights and Shadows of Polygamy — Marriage and 
 
 Baptism for the Dead 306 
 
 XXXIV. My Daughter becomes the Fourth Wife of Brigham 
 
 Young's Son— The Second Endowments . . 314 
 XXXV. Realities of Polygamic Life — Orson Pratt : The 
 
 Story of his Young English Wife . . . 3£3 
 
 XXXVI. " Our " Husband's Fiancee — A Second Wife's Sor- 
 rows — Steps towards Apostasy .... 331 
 XXXVII. Some curious Courtships — Brigham ruins our For- 
 tunes — Belinda Divorces "our" Husband . . 340 
 XXXVIII. Mary Burton — Life's Journey ended : Rest at Last 347 
 XXXIX. My Husband Disfellovvshipped — We Apostatize — 
 
 Brutal Outrage upon my Husband and Myself . 357 
 XL. Amusing Troubles of my Talkative Friend — Char- 
 lotte with the Golden Hair 361 
 
 XLI. After we left the Church— Interesting Facts and 
 
 Figures — Mormonism and Mormons of to-day . 363 
 
 L'Envoi 377 
 
 Postscript 380 
 
 XLIV. Mountain Meadows Massacre — Complete Confession 
 
 of Bishop JonN D. Lee 384 
 
 Killing a Rival Prophet 398 
 
LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS. 
 
 8. 
 
 9. 
 10. 
 11. 
 12. 
 13. 
 14. 
 15. 
 16. 
 
 Steel-plate Portrait of the Author . 
 
 Steel-plate Portrait of Brigham Young . 
 
 " Gathering to Zion " — Life on the Plains 
 
 Over at Last ......... 
 
 View of Main Street, Salt Lake City (From a Photograph) 
 
 The Ladies' Side of Mormonism. 
 Amelia Folsom Young, Brigham's Favourite Wife 
 "Ann Eliza," Brigham's Nineteenth Wife 
 Miss Eliza R. Snow, Mormon Poetess and High Priestess 
 Mrs. John W. Young, Wife of Brigham's Apostate Son 
 Brother Brigham's Last Baby .... 
 
 Scene of the Mountain Meadows Massacre 
 The Crisis of a Life — Entering into Polygamy 
 Polygamy in Low Life — The Poor Man's Family 
 Polygamy in High Life — The Prophet's Mansion 
 Despair !........ 
 
 Fac-simile of a Mormon " Bill of Divorce " 
 
 Frontispiece 
 
 To face 
 
 . 12.3 
 
 . 13fi 
 
 143 
 
 168 
 168 
 163 
 168 
 168 
 255 
 296 
 302 
 302 
 326 
 344 
 
PREFACE 
 
 BY MRS. HARRIET BEECHER STOWE. 
 
 Ix these pages, a woman, a wife and mother, speaks the 
 sorrows and oppressions of which she has been the witness 
 and the victim. 
 
 It is because her sorrows and her oppressions are those of 
 thousands, who, suffering like her, cannot or dare not speak 
 for themselves, that she thus gives this history to the public. 
 
 It is no sensational story, but a plain, unvarnished tale of 
 truth, stranger and sadder than fiction. 
 
 Our day has seen a glorious breaking of fetters. The slave- 
 pens of the South have become a nightmare of the past ; the 
 auction-block and whipping-post have given place to the church 
 and school-house ; and the songs of emancipated millions are 
 heard through our land. 
 
 May we not then hope that the hour is come to loose the 
 bonds of a cruel slavery whose chains have cut into the very 
 hearts of thousands of our sisters — a slavery which debases 
 and degrades womanhood, motherhood, and the family ? 
 
 Let every happy wife and mother who reads these linos 
 give her their sympathy, prayers, and aid to free her sisters 
 from this degrading bondage. Let all the womanhood of the 
 country stand united for them. There is a power in com- 
 bined enlightened sentiment and sympathy before which every 
 form of injustice and cruelty must finally go down. 
 
 May He who came to break every yoke hasten this deliver- 
 ance ! 
 
 Harriet Beeciieu Stowe. 
 
PREFACE. 
 
 In the fall of the year 1869, a few earnest, thinking men, 
 members of the Mormon Church, and living in Salt Lake 
 City, inaugurated what was regarded at the time as a grand 
 schism. Those who had watched with anxiety the progress of 
 Mormonism, hailed the " New Movement " as the harbinger 
 of the work of disintegration so long anticipated by the 
 thoughtful-minded Saints, and believed tbat the opposition to 
 Theocracy, then begun, would continue until the extraordinary 
 assumptions of the Mormon priesthood were exploded, and 
 Mormonism itself should lose its political status and find its 
 place only among the singular sects of the day. 
 
 It was freely predicted that Woman, in her turn, would 
 accept her part in the work of reformation, take up the 
 marriage question among the Saints, and make an end of 
 Polygamy. 
 
 Little did I imagine, at that period, that any such mission 
 as that which I have since realized as mine, was in the Provi- 
 dence of Time awaiting me, or that I should ever have the 
 boldness, either with tongue or pen, to plead the cause of the 
 Women of Utah. But, impelled by those unseen influences 
 which shape our destinies, I took my stand with the " heretics ;" 
 and, as it happened, my own was the first woman's name en- 
 rolled in their cause. 
 
 The circumstances which wrought a change in my own 
 life produced a corresponding revolution in the life of my 
 husband. 
 
 Iu withdrawing from the Mormon Church, we laid our- 
 
viii Preface. 
 
 selves, our associations, and the labours of over twenty years, 
 upon the altar, and took up the burden of life anew. We had 
 sacrificed everything in obedience to the " counsel " of Brig- 
 ham Young ; and my husband, to give a new direction to his 
 mind, aud also to form some plan for our future life, thought 
 it advisable that he should visit New York. He did so ; and 
 shortly after employed himself in writing a history of the 
 " Rocky Mountain Saints," which has since been published. 
 
 In course of time, the burden of providing for a large family, 
 and the anxiety and care of conducting successfully a business 
 among a people who make it a religious duty to sternly set 
 their faces against those who dissent from their faith, ex- 
 hausted my physical and mental strength. Considering, there- 
 fore, that change might be beneficial to me, and my own per- 
 sonal affairs urgently calling me to New York City, I followed 
 my husband thither. 
 
 On my way East I met a highly- valued friend of my family, 
 who, in the course of our jouruey together over the Pacific 
 Railroad, enthusiastically urged me to tell the story of my 
 past life, aud to give to the world what I knew about Polygamy. 
 I had been repeatedly advised to do so by friends at home, 
 but up to that time no plan had been arranged for carrying 
 out the suggestion. 
 
 I had hardly arrived in New York before the electric mes- 
 senger announced that a severe snow-storm was raging on the 
 vast plains between the Rocky Mountains and the Missouri 
 River, and for several weeks all traffic over the Union Pacific 
 Railroad was interrupted, and I could not return to my home 
 in the distant West. 
 
 That unlooked-for snow-blockade became seriously annoy- 
 ing ; for not only was I most anxious to return to my children, 
 but also, never having known an idle hour, I could not live 
 without something to do. At that moment of unsettled feel- 
 ing, a lady-friend, with whom I was visiting, suggested again 
 " the book ;" and she would not permit me to leave her house 
 until she had exacted from me a promise that it should be 
 written. 
 
 Next morning I began my task in earnost. I faithfully 
 
Preface. ix 
 
 kept my room and laboured unremittingly ; and in three weeks 
 the manuscript of my little work on " Polygamy in Utah " was 
 completed. It was very kindly welcomed by the press — both 
 secular and religious — and for this I was sincerely grateful. 
 I had not, up to that time, thought of much else than its effect 
 upon the people of Utah ; but the voluminous notices which 
 that little book received showed the deep interest which the 
 people of the United States had taken in " the Mormon ques- 
 tion," and how ardently they desired to see the extinction of 
 the polygamic institution among the Saints. 
 
 In Salt Lake City I was so situated that I was daily — I 
 might almost sny hourly — brought in contact with visitors 
 to the Modern Zion ; for, during the summer, thousands of 
 travellers pass over the Pacific Railroad. Not a few of these 
 called to see me ; and I received from ladies and gentlemen — 
 whose kind interest in my welfare I felt very deeply — many 
 personal attentions, many words of sympathy and encourage- 
 ment, and many intelligent and useful suggestions in respect 
 to my future life. Indeed, I saw myself quite unexpectedly, 
 and, I may truthfully say, without my own desire, become an 
 object of interest. 
 
 By the earnest suggestions of friends and strangers, and 
 by the widely published opinions of the press, I was made to 
 feel that I had only begun my work — that I had but partly 
 drawn aside the veil that covered the worst oppression and de- 
 gradation of woman ever known in a civilized country. Nearly 
 all who spoke to me expressed their surprise that intelligent 
 men and women should be found in communion with the Mor- 
 mon Church, in which it was so clearly evident that the teach- 
 ings of Christianity had been supplanted by an attempt to 
 imitate the barbarism of Oriental nations in a long past age, 
 and the sweet influences of the religion of Jesus were super- 
 seded by the most objectionable practices of the ancient Jews. 
 How persons of education and refinement could ever have 
 embraced a faith that prostrated them at the feet of the Mor- 
 mon Prophet, and his successor Brigham Young, was to the 
 inqniriug mind a perfect mystery. 
 
 The numerous questions which I had to answer, and the 
 
x Preface. 
 
 explanations which I had to give, showed me that uiy little 
 book had only whetted the appetite of the intelligent investi- 
 gator, and that there was a general call for a woman's book 
 on Mormonism — a book that should reveal the inner life of 
 the Saints, — exhibit the influences which had contributed to 
 draw Christian people away from Christian Churches to the 
 standard of the American Prophet, Joseph Smith, and subject 
 them to the power of that organization which has, since his 
 death, subjugated the mass of the Mormon people in Utah to 
 the wiil and wickedness of the Priesthood under the leadership 
 of Brigham Young. 
 
 A few months after the publication of my first book, I was 
 invited to lecture upon "Polygamy in Utah;" and wherever I 
 spoke I observed the same spirit of inquiry, and met with a 
 renewed demand for more of circumstance and narrative — 
 which I had, from a sense of personal delicacy, withheld in 
 my former work. 
 
 I saw no way of satisfying myself and others than by 
 accepting the rather spiteful invitation of a certain Mormon 
 paper to "Tell it all;" and this, in a narrative of my own 
 personal experience, which I now present to the reader, I 
 have endeavoured to do. Not being in any sense a literary 
 woman, or making any pretensions as a writer, I hope to 
 escape severe criticism from the public and the press. I 
 had a simple story to tell — the story of my life and of the 
 wrongs of women in Utah. Startling and terrible facts have 
 fallen under my observation. These also I have related; but 
 my constant effort has been to tell my story in the plainest, 
 simplest way, and, while avoiding exaggeration, never to shrink 
 from a straightforward statement of facts. I have disguised 
 nothing, and palliated nothing ; and I feel assured that those 
 who from their actual aud intimate acquaintance with Mor- 
 monism in Utah as it really is, are capable of passing a just 
 and impartial judgment upon my story, will declare without 
 hesitation that I have told " the truth, the whole truth, and 
 nothing but the truth." 
 
 Fanny Stenhouse, 
 
 Salt Lake City, Utah. 
 
AN ENGLISHWOMAN IN UTAH. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 MY EARLY LIFE. 
 
 The story which I propose to tell in these pages is a plain, 
 unexaggerated record of facts which have come immediately 
 under my own notice, or which I have myself personally 
 experienced. 
 
 Much that to the reader may seem altogether incredible, 
 would to a Mormon mind appear simply a matter of ordinary 
 every-day occurrence with which every one in Utah is sup- 
 posed to be perfectly familiar. The reader must please re- 
 member that I am not telling — as so many writers have told in 
 newspaper correspondence and sensational stories — the hasty 
 and incorrect statements and opinions gleaned during a short 
 visit to Salt Lake City ; but my own experience — the story of 
 a faith, strauge, wild, and terrible it may be, but which was 
 once so intimately enwoven with all my associations that it 
 became a part of my very existence itself ; and facts, the too 
 true reality of which there are living witnesses by hundreds, 
 and even thousands, who could attest if only they would. 
 
 With the reader's permission I shall briefly sketch my ex- 
 perience from the very beginning. 
 
 I was born in the year 1829, in St. Heliers, Jersey — one of 
 the islands of the English Channel. 
 
 From my earliest recollection I was favourably disposed to 
 religious influences, and when only fourteen years of age I 
 became a member of the Baptist Church, of which my father 
 and mother were also members. With the simplicity and 
 enthusiasm of youth I was devoted to the religious faith of 
 the denomination to which I had attached myself, and sought 
 to live in a manner which should be acceptable to God. 
 
 My childhood passed away without the occurrence of any 
 
 B 
 
2 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 events which would be worthy of mention, although, of course, 
 my mind was even then receiving that religious bias which 
 afterwards led me to adopt the faith of the Latter-day Saints. 
 Like most girls in their teens I had a natural love of dress — 
 a weakness, if such it be, of the sex generally. I was not 
 extravagant, for that I could not be ; but thirty years ago 
 members of dissenting churches were more staid in their 
 dress and demeanour and were less of the world, I think, than 
 they are to-day. In plainness of dress the Methodists and 
 Baptists much resembled the Quakers. My girlish weakness 
 caused me to be the subject of many a reprimand from older 
 church-members who were rather strict in their views. I 
 well remember one smooth-faced, pious, corpulent brother, 
 who was old enough to be my father, saying to me one day : 
 " My dear young sister, were it not for your love of dress, I 
 have seriously thought that I would some day make you my 
 wife." I wickedly resolved that if a few bright coloured 
 ribbons would disgust my pious admirer, it should not be my 
 fault if he still continued to think of me. But many of our 
 other church-members were more lenient. Our good minister 
 in particular bore with my imperfections, as he said, on ac- 
 count of my youth and inexperience ; and later still, when I 
 was ready to leave my native island, an extra ribbon or a 
 fashionable dress had not affected my standing in the Baptist 
 denomination. 
 
 I mention these trifles, not because I attach any importance 
 to them in themselves, but because similar religious ten- 
 dencies and a devotional feeling were almost universally found 
 to be the causes which induced men and women to join the 
 Mormon Church. From among Roman Catholics, who place 
 unquestioning confidence in their priesthood, and also from 
 among persons predisposed to infidelity, came few, if any, 
 converts to Mormonism. But it was from among the reli- 
 giously inclined, the Evangelical Protestants of the Old World, 
 that the greater number of.proselytes came. 
 
 But to return to my story. I was one of the younger mem- 
 bers of a large family ; and when I thought of the future 1 
 readily saw that if I desired a position in life I should bave to 
 make it for myself; and this I resolved to do. I began by 
 consulting all my friends who I thought would be able to 
 counsel or assist me in carrying out my determination ; and 
 before long I found the opportunity which I sought. An 
 English lady, the wife of a captain in the British army, to 
 whom I had confided my aspirations, proposed — although I 
 
My Early Life. 3 
 
 Avas riot yet fifteen years of age— to take me with her to 
 France, in the temporary capacity of governess, to her chil- 
 dren, assuring me at the same time that she would advance 
 my interests in every possible way after our arrival. 
 
 This lady and her husband were as kind to me as my own 
 parents could have been ; and soon after our arrival in France 
 they procured for me a situation in one of the best schools in 
 St. Brieux, called the Maison-Martin, where, young as I was, I 
 engaged myself to teach the young ladies fancy-needlework 
 and embroidery, as well as to give lessons in English. Some 
 of the elder girls, I soon found, were further advanced in fancy- 
 needlework and some other matters than I was myself. This, 
 of course, I did not tell them ; but to supply my deficiency I 
 spent many a midnight hour in study and in preparing myself 
 to give the advanced instructions which would be required by 
 my pupils on the following day. For some time after I began 
 my work as teacher in that school, I spent the whole of my 
 salary in paying for private lessons to keep me in advance of 
 my pupils. It was for awhile a severe task and a strain upon 
 my youthful energies ; but I have never since regretted it, 
 as it gave an impulse to my mind that has remained with me 
 through life. 
 
 I had not been more than six months in my situation when 
 the parents of one of the pupils objected to the school retain- 
 ing a Protestant teacher, and I was consequently given to 
 understand that unless I consented to be instructed, if nothing 
 more, in the Roman Catholic faith, I could not remain in my 
 present position. This was my first experience of that re- 
 ligious intolerance of which I afterwards saw so much. The 
 principal of the establishment, however, being very kindly 
 disposed towards me, advised me to submit, and it was finally 
 agreed that I should be allowed twelve months for instruction 
 and consideration. 
 
 During this probationary year I attended mass every morn- 
 ing from seven to eight o'clock, and was present at vespers at 
 least three times a week. Every Saturday morning I accom- 
 panied my pupils to the confessional, where I had to remain 
 from seven o'clock till noon; after which we returned to 
 breakfast. On Sundays there was the usual morning mass, 
 and after that high mass ; and in the afternoon, from two to 
 four, we listened to a sermon. In addition to all these services, 
 at which I was expected to " assist," a very good-looking, in- 
 teresting young priest was appointed to attend to the spiritual 
 instruction of the young Protestant, as they called me, after 
 
 B 2 
 
4 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 school hours. He saw me frequently, but he was ill-qualified 
 to instruct me in the Catholic faith or to remove my doubts, 
 for he was not himself too happy in the sacerdotal robe. At 
 first he aimed at convinciug me that the apostolic priesthood 
 vested in the fishermen of Galilee had descended in unbroken 
 succession in the Church of Rome ; but he seemed to me 
 much more inclined for a flirtation than for argument ; I 
 thought I could at times discover something of regret on his 
 own part at having taken holy orders ; and in after years I 
 heard that he had abandoned his profession. 
 
 To the numerous stories of Catholic oppression and artifice 
 in undermining Protestants and seducing them from their 
 faith, I cannot add my own testimony. Those among whom I 
 lived very naturally desired that I should be instructed in 
 their I'eligion, and join the church to which they belonged ; 
 but their bearing towards me was ever kind and respectful ; 
 although when the twelve months of probation had expired, 
 I found myself as much attached to the religion of my child- 
 hood as ever, and had in consequence to resign my situation. 
 I had made many warm friends in the school, and none were 
 kinder to me than the principal, who proved her attachment by 
 finding for me a lucrative situation in a wealthy private family. 
 
 My new position was a decided advance in social life. The 
 family consisted of husband and wife, two children, the hus- 
 band's brother, and an elderly uncle. The little girls were, 
 when I first knew them, of the ages of five and seven years 
 respectively. The young gentleman alluded to — the husband's 
 brother — had been educated for the church, but when the 
 proper time came had refused to take orders ; the uncle was 
 a fine old gentleman, a retired general in the French army, 
 and a bachelor. Altogether they formed as happy a domestic 
 circle as I had ever known. The position which I occupied 
 among them was that of governess and English teacher to 
 the two little girls. 
 
 My young charges during the first year made rapid pro- 
 gress, which was very gratifying to the family, and secured 
 for me their good-will and interest. Had I been their nearest 
 relative I could not have received more respect and consider- 
 ation from them. One member of the circle alone seemed to 
 be entirely indifferent to my presence ; this was the brother of 
 
 Monsieur D . Though I had lived in the same house with 
 
 him a whole year, and had sat at the same table every day, 
 scarcely a word had ever passed between us beyond a formal 
 salutation. 
 
My Early Life. 5 
 
 The young gentleman was very handsome, and when con- 
 versing with others his manner was extremely fascinating. I 
 did not believe that I particularly desired his attentions, but 
 his indifference annoyed me — -for I had never before been 
 treated with such coldness, and I determined to become as 
 frigid and formal as he could possibly be himself. This 
 formal acquaintanceship continued for two years, and I per- 
 suaded myself that I had become altogether indifferent to the 
 presence of my icicle, while at the same time all the other 
 members of the family increased in their manifestations of 
 attachment to me. 
 
 But trifles often possess a great significance. It was the 
 custom of the family to get up a little lottery once a week for 
 the children, if my report of their deportment and progress 
 was favourable. In this lottery were presents of books, toys, 
 gloves, and a variety of fancy articles, and among them there 
 was sure to be a bouquet of choice flowers for " Mademoiselle- 
 Miss," as they familiarly called me. I knew not positively 
 whom to thank, although I instinctively felt from whom they 
 came, for the other members of the family always made me 
 more useful presents. In time one little attention led to 
 another, until at the eud of three years I found myself the 
 fiancee of the wealthy Constant D . 
 
 Madame D was opposed to my marriage with her 
 
 brother-in-law, as she desired that he should marry one of 
 her own wealthy cousins of the old noblesse of France. She 
 treated me, notwithstanding, with great kindness, and confined 
 her opposition to persuading me not to listen to her brother's 
 suit ; but finding opposition to his wishes ineffectual, she 
 finally consented to our engagement, which took place in the 
 following winter. 
 
 From what I observed of the relations which existed be- 
 tween husbands and wives in Frauce, I did not feel perfectly 
 happy in the thought of becoming the Avife of a Frenchman, 
 although I dearly loved the French people. Several of my 
 young lady acquaintances, I knew, had married because it was 
 fashionable,, and especially because it was an emancipation 
 from Avhat ladies in the higher ranks of society regarded as a 
 severe social restraint. It was considered shocking for any 
 young lady to be seen talking to a young gentleman in the 
 street ; indeed it was hardly proper for any unmarried girl to 
 be seen in the street at all without a bonne or some married 
 lady to accompany her. But immediately she was married 
 she was at liberty to flirt and promenade with all the gentle- 
 
6 An Englisliivoman in Utah. 
 
 men of her acquaintance, while her husband enjoyed the same 
 liberty among the ladies. This state of affairs did not at all 
 coincide with my English ideas, for to me the very thought of 
 marriage was invested with the most sacred obligations, and I 
 knew I should never be able to bring my mind to accept less 
 from my husband than I should feel it my duty to render to him. 
 I loved the French people, and was pleased with their polite 
 mannerism, but I was not French in character ; and though 
 the prospect before me of an alliance with a wealthy and 
 noble family was certainly pleasant, and I was greatly attached 
 to my fiance, my mind was considerably agitated upon the sub- 
 ject of marriage, as it had before been occupied with religion. 
 
 During my sojourn in Fiance I had frequently questioned 
 myself whether I had not done wrong in remaining absent 
 for so many years from my home and from communion with 
 the church of my chihlhood, and I had always looked forward 
 to the time when I should return to them again. To this 
 occasional self-examination was now added auother cause of 
 anxiety, produced by the thought of marriage with a person 
 of a different faith. Marriage, to me, was the all-important 
 event in a woman's life, and some mysterious presentiment 
 seemed to forewarn me that marriage in my life was to be more 
 than an ordinary episode — though little did I then dream that 
 it would have a polygamic shaping. 
 
 My young ambition alone had led me to France. I had 
 aspired to an honourable social position, and had found both it 
 and also devoted friends. Sometimes I felt that I could not 
 relinquish what I had gained ; at other times I yearned for 
 the associations of my childhood and the guiding hand of 
 earlier friends. The conflict in my mind was often painful. 
 My early prejudices and the teachings of those around me 
 induced me to believe that the Roman Catholic religion was 
 entirely wrong ; yet, notwithstanding, while living among 
 Catholics I saw nothing, to condemn in their personal lives, 
 but much to the contrary. In fact, Romanism fascinated me, 
 while it failed to convince my judgment. 
 
 While labouring under these conflicting sentiments, I re- 
 solved to visit my native land, to consult with my parents 
 about my contemplated marriage ; and for that purpose I 
 asked and obtained two months' vacation. Surely some mys- 
 terious destiny must have been drawing me to England at 
 that, particular crisis, and before the fulfilling of my engage- 
 ment, which would have changed so entirely the whole current 
 of my existence. 
 
CHAPTER II. 
 
 MY FIRST INTRODUCTION TO MORMONISM. 
 
 During my residence in France, my parents had left St. 
 Heliers and returned to Southampton, England. To visit 
 them now I had to take a sailing vessel from Portrieux to 
 the Isle of Jersey, and thence I could take the steamer to 
 Southampton. 
 
 Monsier and Madame D , together with the two little 
 
 girls, accompanied me in their private carriage to Portrieux, 
 a distance of forty miles, in order to confide me safely to the 
 captain's care. As they wished me " bon voyage " and 
 embraced me affectionately, Mons. D handed me a valu- 
 able purse for pocket-money during my absence, and they all 
 exhibited great anxiety for my welfare, saying over and over 
 again au revoir, as they entered their carriage to return to their 
 happy home ; — thereby implying that this was not a final adieu, 
 but that we should soon meet again. 
 
 I cannot tell why it was, but I experienced at that moment 
 a painful feeling of mental indecision about the future. I 
 had no real reason to doubt my return to France, and the 
 certainty of a warm welcome when I should again greet those 
 dear ones who were now leaving me in tears ; but my mind 
 was troubled by a vague feeling of uncertainty which made 
 me anything but happy. Filial affection and a sense of duty 
 drew me towards my parents in Englaud ; while a feeling 
 of gratitude, and, I think, another and more tender sentiment, 
 turned the current of my thoughts towards the happy home at 
 St. Brieux. 
 
 It was not necessary for me to stop in Jersey for more than a 
 few hours, but I wanted to revisit the scenes of my child- 
 hood's happy days, and to speak again with those whom I 
 had known and loved in early life. In later years the scenes 
 and memories of childhood seem like the imaginings of a 
 pleasant dream. A sweet charm is thrown around all that 
 we then said and did ; and the men and women who then 
 
8 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 were known to us are pictured in our recollection as beings 
 possessing charms and graces such as never belonged to 
 the common-place children of earth. The glamour of a fairy 
 wand is over all the past history of mankind ; but upon 
 nothing does it cast so potent a spell as upon the personal 
 reminiscences of our own infant years. To me that little 
 island had charms which no stranger could ever have dis- 
 covered ; and even now, after the lapse of so many long, event- 
 ful years I often feel an earnest wish to visit again those rock- 
 bound shores, to listen to the everlasting murmur of the wild, 
 wild waves, to watch the distant speck-like vessels far away 
 upon the swelling ocean, and to drink in the invigorating 
 breezes which seem to give life and energy to every pulsation 
 of the living soul. 
 
 Rut I must not theorize : life has been to me too earnest 
 and too painful to admit of much sentiment or fancy as I recall 
 the past. Little as I thought it, during the short visit which 
 I paid to my birthplace the web of destiny was being woven 
 for me in a way which I could not then have conjectured even 
 in a dream. 
 
 At St. Heliers I heard for the first time of the Latter-day 
 Saints, or Mormonites, as they were more familiarly called ; 
 but I cannot express how perfectly astonished I was when I 
 learned that my father, mother, sisters, and one of my brothers 
 had been converted to the new faith. 
 
 It was my own brother-in-law who told me this. He him- 
 self, with my sister, were " Apostate " Mormons. They had 
 been baptized into the Mormon Church, but became dissatisfied, 
 and abandoned it. The St. Heliers branch of the Latter-day 
 Saints had had a turbulent experience. Their first teachings 
 had been a mixture of Bible texts about the last days, and 
 arguments about the millennium, the return of the Jews to 
 Palestine, the resurrection of the dead, and a new revelation and 
 a new prophet ; but the improper conduct of some of the elders 
 had disgusted the people with their doctrines, and the tales of 
 wickedness which I heard were, if true, certainly sufficient to 
 justify them in rejecting such instructors. 
 
 The more I heard of this strange religion the more I was 
 troubled ; yet, as I knew my parents were devoted Chris- 
 tians, I could hardly bdieve that Mormonism was such a 
 vile delusion and imposture as it had been represented to 
 me, or they would never have accepted it : still it woa pos- 
 sible that they had been led astray by the fascinations of a new 
 religion. 
 
My First Introduction to Mormonism. 9 
 
 In this state of miud I met in the street the wife of the 
 Baptist minister -whom I have already mentioned. She greeted 
 me affectionately and then began at once to warn me against 
 the Latter-day Saints. I inquired what she knew o'f them ; 
 and she replied that personally she knew nothing, but she 
 believed them to be servants of the Evil One, adding, " There 
 is a strange power with them that fascinates the people and 
 draws them into their meshes in spite of themselves. Let me 
 entreat you not to go near them. Do not trust yourself 
 at one of their meetings, or the delusion will take hold of you 
 too." 
 
 " I cannot ignore Mormonism in this way," I said, "or pass 
 it by with indifference ; for my parents whom I tenderly love 
 have been blinded by this delusion, and I can do no less than in- 
 vestigate its teachings thoroughly, and if I find it false, expose its 
 errors, and, if possible, save my father's family from ruin." 
 
 She was not convinced that this was the wisest course for 
 me to pursue, but I resolved at once to attend a meeting of 
 the Saints and judge for myself. My brother-in-law, when 
 he heard of my intentions, tried to dissuade me, but, finding 
 me determined, finally offered to escort me to the meeting- 
 place. 
 
 What I heard on this occasion made a great impression on 
 my miud, and set me thinking as I had never thought before. 
 On returning to my sister's house she asked me what opinion I 
 had now formed of the Latter-day Saints. I replied that I had 
 not yet formed any conclusion, but that what I had heard had 
 given me serious cause for reflection. " Oh," she said, "you 
 have caught the Mormon fever, I see." 
 
 I felt a disposition to resent this implication, but I was half 
 afraid that, after all, my sister was right. Much that I had 
 heard could, I knew, be proved true from Scripture ; and the 
 rest seemed to me to be capable of demonstration from the 
 same authority. I resolved, however, to fortify myself against 
 a too easy credulity, and thought that probably if I heard 
 more of these doctrines I might be able to discover their 
 falsity. 
 
 On the following day, the elder who had preached at the 
 meeting, and who, by the way, is one of the present proprietors 
 of the Salt Lake Herald, called to see me, as he had been 
 intimate with my parents before they left the island. I hardly 
 knew how to be civil to him, though he had done nothing to 
 offend me, nor had ho been the cause of my parents entering 
 the Mormon Church ; but I disliked him solely on account of 
 
io An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 the stones which, I had heard about the Mormons. Intending 
 only to be kind to roe, he told me that on the following day ho 
 proposed to take the steamer for Southampton, as he was going 
 to attend a conference of the Saints in London, and that he 
 should be pleased to show me any attentions while crossing the 
 Channel, and would see me safe home in England. I confess 
 I really felt insulted at a Mormon Elder offering to be my 
 escort ; and although my trunks were ready packed for my 
 departure by the same steamer, and Mr. Dunbar knew it, I 
 thanked him politely, but said I would not go by that boat. 
 He tried to persuade me to change my mind, and said that I 
 should have to wait a whole week for another vessel ; and at 
 last I frankly told him the abhorrence I felt at the things I had 
 heard about the Mormons, and that I should be afraid to travel 
 in the same steamer with him or any of the Mormon Elders 
 whom I regarded as no better than so many whited sepulchres. 
 He, however, very kindly took no offence, for he knew that 
 I had been listening to those who disliked the Saints. I felt 
 ashamed at having been betrayed into such unladylike rudeness, 
 but, notwithstanding, tried to persuade myself that his civility 
 was, after all, an insult ; for I had conceived a detestation of 
 every Mormon, on account of the deception which I felt sure 
 had been practised upon my family. 
 
 This feeling was not lessened by the consciousness that an 
 impression had been made upon my own mind. The more in 
 accordance with Scripture the teaching of the Elders appeared, 
 the more firmly I believed it must be a powerful delusion. 
 Here, I said, Satan has indeed faken the form of an angel of 
 light to deceive, if possible, the very elect. 
 
 Elder Dunbar, finding me unyielding, left by the next 
 steamer, and had a pleasant passage across the Channel, and I 
 remained on the island another week. During that interval 
 my mind was haunted with what I had heard of this new 
 gospel dispensation, as it was called. That angels had again 
 descended from heaven to teach man upon earth ; that a pro- 
 phet had been raised up to speak again the mind of the Lord 
 to the children of men ; that the Saints were partakers of the 
 gifts of the Spirit, as in the Early Christian Church, — all these 
 assumed facts took the form of reality, and came back into my 
 mind with greater force every time I strove to drive them 
 away ; just as our thoughts do when we desire to sleep, and 
 cannot — our very efforts to dismiss them bring them back with 
 greater force to torment us. 
 
 We had an unusually bad passage across the Channel, 
 
My First Introduction to M or monism. 1 1 
 
 which annoyed me all the more when I rememhered my scorn- 
 ful refusal to go in the same boat with Elder Dunbar. 
 
 On my arrival in Southampton I soon discovered that my 
 father, mother, and sisters were full of the spirit of Mormonism. 
 They were rejoicing in it, ardently believing that it was the 
 fulness of the everlasting gospel, as the Elders styled it ; and 
 whatever I might think of the new religion, I was forced to 
 confess that it brought into my father's house peace, love, 
 kindness, and charity such as were seldom seen in many house- 
 holds of religious people. My sisters were completely changed 
 in their manner of life. They cared nothing for the amuse- 
 ments which girls of their age usually crave and enjoy. Their 
 whole thoughts seemed to be occupied with the Church, attend- 
 ing the meetings of the Saints, and employing every leisure 
 hour in preparing comforts for the Elders who were travelling 
 and preaching without purse and scrip. And in all this they 
 were as happy as children. 
 
 Of my parents I might say the same. My dear mother 
 rejoiced in the belief that she had been peculiarly blessed in 
 being privileged to live at a time when " the last dispensation " 
 was revealed ; and my father, though an invalid, rejoiced that 
 he had entered into the kingdom by baptism. Such was the 
 condition of my father's house ; and who can wonder that, 
 accustomed as I was to listen with respect to the opinions of 
 my parents, I was more than ever troubled about the new 
 religion which they had adopted? 
 
 The first Sunday morning that I was in England, my parents 
 asked me to accompany them to meeting, and I readily com- 
 plied, as I wanted to hear more of the strange doctrines which 
 in some mysterious way had made our family so happy, but 
 which in other quarters had provoked such bitter hostility. I 
 know now that this joyousness of heart is not peculiar to new 
 converts to Mormonism, but may be found among the newly- 
 converted of every sect which allows the emotional feelings to 
 come into play. To me, at the time, however, it was a 
 mystery, but 1 must confess that the change which had taken 
 place in those nearest and dearest to me, affecting me per- 
 sonally, and being so evidently in accordance with the teach- 
 ings of the Saviour, led me to regard Mormonism with less 
 antipathy. The bright side alone of the new faith was pre- 
 sented to the world abroad ; we had yet to go to Utah and 
 witness the effects of Brigham Young's teachings at home 
 before we could know what Mormonism really was. 
 
 I shall never forget the trial it was to my pride to enter the 
 
12 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 dirty, mean-looking room where the Saints assembled at that 
 time. No one would rent a respectable hall to them, and they 
 were glad to obtain the use of any place which was large 
 enough for their meetings. On the present occasion there was 
 a very fair gathering of people, who had come together in- 
 fluenced by the most varied motives. The Presiding Elder — 
 I should here remark that the word " Elder " has among the 
 Mormons no reference whatever to age, but is simply a 
 rank in the priesthood — called the meeting to order, and read 
 the following hymn : 
 
 The morning breaks, the shadows flee ; 
 
 Lo ! Zion's standard is unfurl'd ! 
 The dawning of a brighter day 
 
 Majestic rises on the world. 
 
 The clouds of error disappear 
 
 Before the rays of truth divine; 
 The glory bursting from afar, 
 
 Wide o'er the nations soon will shine ! 
 
 The Gentile fulness now comes in, 
 
 And Israel's blessings are at band ; 
 Lo ! Judah's remnant, cleansed from sin, 
 
 Shall in the promised Canaan stand. 
 
 Angels from heaven and truth from earth 
 Have met, and both have record borne ; 
 
 Thus Zion's light is bursting forth 
 To bring her ransom'd children home. 
 
 Every word of this hymn had a meaning peculiar to itself, 
 relating to the distinctive doctrines of the Saints. The con- 
 gregation sang with an energy and enthusiasm which made 
 the room shake again. Self and the outer world were alike for- 
 gotten, and an ecstasy of rapture seemed to possess the souls of 
 all present. Then all kneeled down, and prayer was offered 
 for the Prophet, the apostles, high-priests, " seventies," elders, 
 priests, teachers, and deacons ; blessings were invoked upon 
 the Saints, and power to convert the Gentiles ; aud as the 
 earnest words of supplication left the speaker's lips, the con- 
 gregation shouted a loud " Amen." 
 
 There was no prepared sermon. There never is at a Mor- 
 mon meeting. The people are taught that the Holy Ghost 
 is " mouth, matter, and wisdom." Whatever the preaching 
 Elder may say is supposed to come directly by inspiration from 
 heaven, and the Saints listening, as they believe, not to his 
 utterances but to the words of God Himself, have nothing to 
 do but to hear and obey. 
 
My First Introduction to Mormonism. 1 3 
 
 The first speaker on this occasion was a young gentleman 
 of respectable family, who had been recently baptized and 
 ordained. He, too, was from St. Heliers, and I had known 
 him from childhood. His address impressed me very much. 
 He had been a member of the Baptist church, and he re- 
 lated his experience, told how often he had wondered why there 
 were not inspired men to preach the glad tidings of salvation to 
 the world to-day, as there were eighteen centuries ago. He 
 spoke of the joy which he had experienced in being bap- 
 tized into the Mormon Church and realizing that he had 
 received the " gift of the Holy Ghost." The simplicity with 
 which he spoke, his evident honesty, and the sacrifice he had 
 made in leaving the respectable Baptists and joining the de- 
 spised Mormons, were, I thought, so many evidences of his 
 sincerity. 
 
 Alas ! how little could that young preacher conjecture how 
 different the practical Mormonism in Utah was from the 
 theoretical Mormonism which he had learned to believe in 
 Europe, before polygamy was known among the Saints. A 
 short time afterwards he gave up his business, married an 
 accomplished young lady, and went with her to Salt Lake 
 City. There they were soon utterly disgusted with what they 
 witnessed, apostatized, and set out for England. When they 
 had gone three-fourths of their way back to the Missouri 
 river, the young man, his wife, child, and another apostate 
 and his wife, were killed by "Indians:" — such, at least, was 
 the report ; but dissenting Mormons have always charged 
 their " taking off" to the order of the leaders of the Mormon 
 Church. 
 
 But to return to the meeting. The reader must please for- 
 give me if 1 dwell a little upon the events of that particular 
 morning, for naturally they made a deep impression upon my 
 own mind — it was there that I saw for the first time my hus- 
 band who was to be. 
 
 I had heard a good deal about a certain Elder, from my 
 family and from the Saints who visited at our house. They 
 spoke with great enthusiasm of the earnestness with which ho 
 preached, of the effect which his addresses produced, and 
 of his confidence in the final triumph of " the kingdom." 
 
 At that time — the summer of 1849 — although the branch 
 of the Mormon Church in Britain was in a most flourishing 
 condition, there were not in England more than two or three 
 American Elders preaching the faith, for when — two years 
 before the period of which I speak — the Saints left Nauvoo 
 
14 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 and undertook that most extraordinary exodus across the 
 plains to the Rocky Mountains, the missionary Elders were all 
 called home, and the work of proselytizing in Europe was left 
 entirely to the native Elders. To direct their labours there was 
 placed over them an American elder named Orson Spencer, a 
 graduate of Dartmouth University, a scholar and a gentleman — 
 a man well calculated from his previous Christian education to 
 give an elevated tone to the teachings of the young English 
 missionaries. 
 
 Mormonism in England then, had no resemblance to ihe 
 Mormonism of Utah to-day. The Mormons were then simply 
 an earnest religious people, in many respects like the Methodists, 
 especially in their missionaiw zeal and fervour of spirit. The 
 Mormon Church abroad was purely a religious institution, and 
 Mormonism was preached by the Elders as the gospel of 
 Christianity restored. The Church had no political shaping 
 nor the remotest antagonism to the civil power. The name of 
 Joseph Smith was seldom spoken, and still more seldom was 
 heard the name of Bi'igham Young, and then only so far as they 
 had reference to the Church of the Saints. 
 
 About eighteen months before I visited Southampton, one 
 of these missionaries had come into that town, " without purse 
 or scrip." He was quite a young man and almost penniless, 
 but he was rich in faith and overflowing with zeal. He knew 
 no one there ; and homeless, and frequently hungry, he con- 
 tinued his labours. Of fasting he knew much, of feasting 
 nothing. He first preached under the branches of a spread- 
 ing beech-tree in a public park, and when more favoured he 
 held forth in a school-room or public hall. He had come to 
 convert the people to Mormonism, or he was going to die 
 among them ; aud before such zeal and determination, dis- 
 couragements, of course, soon vanished away. He troubled 
 the ministers of other dissenting churches when they found 
 him distributing tracts and talking to their people. He was 
 sowing broadcast dissatisfaction and discontent wherever he 
 could get any one to listen to him, and thus he drew down 
 upon himself the eloquence of the dissenting pulpits and the 
 derision of the local press. But the more they attacked him 
 the more zealously did he labour, and defied his opponents to 
 public discussion. Mormonism was bold then in Europe — it 
 had no American history to meet in those days. 
 
 This, and a great deal more, I had heard discussed in glowing 
 language by my relatives and friends ; and thus the young mis- 
 sionary — Elder Stenhouse — was, by name, no stranger to me. 
 
J\Iy First Introduction to Mormonism. 15 
 
 It was Elder Stenbouse who now addressed the meeting, 
 and I listened to him with attention. The reader must 
 remember that at that time polygamy was unheard of as a 
 doctrine of the Saints, and the blood-atonement, the doctrine 
 that Adam is God, together with the polytheism and priestly 
 theocracy of after-years, were things undreamed of. The 
 saving love of Christ, the glory and fulness of the everlasting 
 Gospel, the gifts and graces of the Spirit, together with re- 
 pentance, baptism, and faith, were the points upon which the 
 Mormon teachers touched ; and who can wonder that with such 
 topics as these, and fortifying every statement with powerful 
 and numerous texts of Scripture, they should captivate the 
 minds of religiously inclined people ? However this may be, 
 I can only confess that, as I listened to Elder Stenhouse's 
 earnest discourse, I felt my antipathy to Mormonism rapidly 
 melting away. 
 
 At the close of the service, when he left the platform, he 
 was warmly received by the brethren and sisters, for so the 
 Saints speak of one another, and they came about him to 
 shake hands, or it might be to seize the opportunity of slip- 
 ping a trifle into his hand to help him in his work. Young 
 and old, the poor and their more wealthy neighbours, mingled 
 together like one happy family. It was altogether a most 
 pleasing scene ; and, whatever explanation may yet be given to 
 Mormonism in America, one thing I know — the facts of its 
 early history in Europe are among the most pleasant remi- 
 niscences of my life. 
 
 Elder Stenbouse came up in a familiar and open-hearted 
 way to my mother and sisters, and I was introduced to him 
 as " the other daughter from France." He kindly welcomed 
 me, and when I frankly told him the state of my mind, he 
 made, I must admit, a successful attempt to solve my doubts, 
 and when I left the meeting it was with sentiments towards 
 the Saints and their religion far different from those which I 
 entertained when I entered. 
 
 This meeting was a memorable era in my life. 
 
16 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 THE LABOUR OP MY LIFE BEGUN : — HOW THE MORMON 
 MISSIONARIES MADE CONVERTS. 
 
 In the afternoon I attended a meeting of a still more interest- 
 ing character. These Sunday afternoon meetings were held 
 for the purpose of receiving the sacrament, and the confirma- 
 tion of those who had been baptized during the week ; they 
 were intended exclusively for the Saints, but for certain 
 reasons I was permitted to be present. 
 
 The meeting was opened with singing and prayer, and then 
 the presiding Elder — Brother Cowdy — arose, and invited all 
 those who had been baptized during the week to come to the 
 front seats. Several ladies and gentlemen came forward, and 
 also three little children. Upon inquiry I found that children 
 of eight years of age were admitted members of the Church 
 by baptism — which is administered by immersion. At that 
 age they are supposed to understand what they are doing; but 
 before that, if of Mormon parents, they are considered mem- 
 bers of the Church by virtue of the blessing which they 
 received in infancy. Brother Cowdy — the presiding Elder — 
 then called upon two other Elders to assist him in the con- 
 firmation. 
 
 One of the ladies took off her bonnet, but retained her seat, 
 when all three of the Elders placed their hands upon her head, 
 and one of them said : — 
 
 " Martha ; by virtue of the authority vested in us, we con- 
 firm you a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day 
 Saints ; and as you have been obedient to the teachings of the 
 Elders, and have gone down into the Avaters of baptism for the 
 remission of your sins, w r e confer upon you the Gift of the 
 Holy Ghost, that it may abide with you for ever, and be a 
 lamp unto your feet, and a light upon your pathway, leading 
 and guiding you into all truth. This blessing we confirm upon 
 your head, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of 
 the Holy Ghost. Amen." 
 
The Labour of my Life begun. ly 
 
 Then, before they took their hands off her head, the presid- 
 ing Elder asked the other two if they wished to say anything. 
 Whereupon one of them began to invoke a blessing upon the 
 newly-confirmed sister. He spoke for some time with extreme 
 earnestness, when suddenly he was seized with a nervous trem- 
 bling which was quite perceptible, and which evidently betokened 
 intense mental or physical excitement. He began to prophecy 
 great things for this sister in the future, and in solemn and 
 mysterious language proclaimed the wonders which God 
 would perform for her sake. When we consider the excited 
 state of her mind, and — if the statements of psychologists 
 be true — the magnetic currents which were being trans- 
 mitted from the sensitive nature of the man into the excited 
 brain of the new convert, together with the pressure of half a 
 dozen human hands upou her head, it is not at all astonish- 
 ing that when the hands were lifted off she should firmly 
 believe that she had been blessed indeed. She had been told 
 that she should receive the Gift of the Holy Ghost ; and 
 she did not for an instant doubt that her expectations had 
 been realized. 
 
 Each of the newly-baptized went through the same ceremony, 
 and then they all partook of the sacrament, when, after another 
 hymn, the meeting was closed with prayer. 
 
 In the evening I returned, to listen to a lecture upon " the 
 character, spirit, and genius" of the new church, delivered by 
 Elder Stenhouse ; and I was captivated by the picture which 
 he drew of the marvellous latter-day work which lie affirmed 
 had already begun. The visions of by-gone ages were again 
 vouchsafed to men ; angels had visibly descended to earth ; 
 God had raised up in a mighty way a Prophet, as of old, to 
 preach the dispensation of the last days ; gifts of prophecj-, 
 healing, and the working of miracles were now, as in the days 
 of the Apostles, witnesses to the power of God. The long- 
 lost tribes of Israel were about to be gathered into the one 
 great fold of Christ ; and the fulness of the Gentiles being 
 come, they, too, were to be taken under the care of the Good 
 Shepherd. All were freely invited to come and cast away 
 their sins, ere it was too late ; and the fullest offers of pardon, 
 grace, sanctification, and blessing, in this world and in the next, 
 were presented to every repentant soul. 
 
 Surely, I thought, these are the self-same doctrines which 
 my mother taught me, when I knelt beside her in childhood, 
 and which I have so often heard — only in colder and less per- 
 suasive language — urged from the pulpits of those whom I 
 
1 8 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 have ever regarded in the light of true disciples of Jesus. 
 Who can wonder that I listened with rapt attention, and that 
 ray heart was even then half Avon to the new faith? The 
 days passed ; and as I pondered over these things it appeared 
 to me that I had at last found that which I had so long earnestly 
 desired and prayed for — a knowledge of that true religion 
 for which the Saviour presented Himself a Holy Sacrifice, and 
 which the Apostles preached at peril of their lives — the only 
 faith, in which I might find joy and peace in believing. 
 
 But why should I dwell upon those moments, soul-absorbing 
 as was their interest to me then — sadly-pleasing as is their 
 memory noiv ! The reader can see the drift of my thoughts 
 at that time ; and I feel sure, although I have but hastily 
 sketched the causes which brought about these great changes 
 in my religious belief and in my life, that he will not hastily 
 accuse me of fickleness and love of change, if he himself has 
 fought the battles of the soul, and has learned even in a slight 
 measure to realize the mystery of his inner being. 
 
 Each day the finger of destiny drew me nearer to the final 
 step. The young Elder, whose words I had listened to with 
 such strange and, to me, momentous results, was intimate with 
 my father's family, and called frequently to see us, and before 
 long he convinced me that it was my duty to test for myself 
 whether the work was of God, or not. In the agitated state 
 of my mind at that time, I could not withstand the earnest 
 appeals which were made to my affections and hopes ; and 
 within two weeks after my arrival in England I became 
 formally a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter- 
 day Saints ; or in more popular language — I became a Mor- 
 mon. 
 
 The day was fixed for my baptism. Several others were to 
 be baptized at the same time ; for scarcely a week passed 
 without quite a number of persons joining the Church. For 
 this purpose we all repaired to a bath-house on the'banks of the 
 Southampton river. This place was not perhaps the most 
 convenient, and it certainly was devoid of the slightest tinge 
 of romance ; but it was the only one available to the saints at 
 that time. 
 
 When we were all assembled and had united in singing and 
 prayer, Elder Stenhouse went down into the water first, and 
 then two men went down and were baptized, and came up 
 again. Now came my turn. I was greatly agitated, for I felt 
 all the solemnity of the occasion. I had dressed myself very 
 neatly and purely, for I believed that angel eyes were upon me; 
 
The Labour of my Life begun. 19 
 
 I wished to give myself — a perfect and acceptable offering — to 
 my God, and I was filled with the determination henceforth to 
 devote my whole life to His service. 
 
 As I went down into the waters of baptism, how thankful I 
 felt that it had been my privilege to hear the gospel in my 
 youth, for now I could give my heart in all its freshness to the 
 Lord, before it had beeu chilled by the cold, hard experience 
 of life. 
 
 I descended the steps, and Elder Stenhouse came forward 
 and led me out into the water ; then, taking both my hands in 
 one of his, he raised his other band towards heaven, and in a 
 solemn and impressive voice he said, — 
 
 " Fanny ; by virtue of the authority vested in me, I baptize 
 you for the remission of your sins ; in the name of the Father, 
 and of the So?i, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen." 
 
 Then he immersed me in the water ; and as I reascended 
 the steps, I really felt like another being : all my past was 
 buried in the deep — the waters of baptism had washed away 
 my sins ; and a new life lay open before me, in which my foot- 
 steps would be guided by the inspired servants of God. All 
 now would be peace and joy within me, for I had obeyed the 
 commands of God, and I doubted not that I should receive the 
 promised blessing, and that now I could indeed go on my way 
 z'ejoicing. 
 
 My baptism took place one Saturday afternoon, and the 
 afternoon following I was confirmed a member of the Church. 
 Elder Stenhouse presided at the meeting, and he, with Elder 
 Cowdy, and two other elders, confirmed me. As the " bless- 
 ing " which I then myself received differs somewhat from the 
 one which I have already given, and as it is a very fair speci- 
 men of those effusions, I present it to the reader in full. 
 
 Elder Stenhouse, Elder Cowdy, and the two other Elders, 
 placed their hands solemnly upon my head, and Elder Sten- 
 house said, — 
 
 "Fanny ; by virtue of the authority vested in me, I confirm 
 you a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day 
 Saints ; and inasmuch as you have been obedient to the com- 
 mand of God, through his servants, and have been baptized 
 for the remission of your sins, I say unto you that those sins 
 are remitted. And in the name of God I bless you, and say 
 unto you, that inasmuch as you are faithful and obedient to the 
 teachings of the priesthood, and seek the advancement of t he 
 kingdom, there is no good thing that your heart can desire 
 that the Lord will not give unto you. You shall have visions 
 
 C 2 
 
20 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 and dreams, and angels shall visit you by day and by night. 
 You shall stand in the temple in Zion, and administer to the 
 Saints of the Most High God. You shall speak in tongues, 
 and prophecy ; and the Lord shall bless you abundantly, both 
 temporally and spiritually. These blessings I seal upon your 
 head, inasmuch as you shall be faithful ; and I pray heaven 
 to bless you ; and say unto you — Be thou blessed, in the name 
 of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. 
 Amen." 
 
 After the meeting, I received the congratulations of all the 
 Saints present, and more particularly those of my own family. 
 My dear mother and father were overjoyed : and I now learned 
 how anxious they had been, and how they had feared that I 
 should return to France and reject the faith of the new dis- 
 pensation. Altogether we were very happy. 
 
 Elder Stenhouse and Elder Cowdy returned home with us 
 to tea, and afterwards we all attended the usual evening 
 lecture. In this way was passed one of the happiest days of 
 my life — one which I sball ever remember ; — and yet that 
 memory will always be mingled with regret that so much love 
 and devotion as I then felt were not enlisted in a better cause. 
 
 Thus began a new era in my life. All my former friends 
 and associations were now to be remembered no more ; my 
 lot was cast among the Saints ; and in the state of my mind 
 at that time, I believed that I should be happy in my new 
 position, and resolved to give evidence of the sincerity of my 
 faith. 
 
 The untiring energy and restless activity of Elder Sten- 
 house was ever before our eyes, and inspired all who associ- 
 ated with him with a similar enthusiasm. There were no 
 drones in that hive. The brethren, at a word from him, 
 would roam the country, teaching and preaching in the open 
 air, while the sisters would go from house to house in the 
 city, distributing tracts about the new faith. 1 caught the 
 enthusiasm of the rest, and was soon in the ranks with the 
 other sisters, as devoted in my endeavours as a young, ambitious 
 heart could be. I was indeed like one born again from an old 
 existence into a new life. I felt grateful and happy — I began 
 to dream of the eternal honour which crowns a faithful mis- 
 sionary life ; and I soon found an ample field for testing my 
 fitness for that vocation. 
 
 At the time of which I speak, the Primitive Methodists in 
 England were doing a great work in the way of converting 
 sinners. Their missionaries were zealous and devoted men, 
 
The Labour of my Life begun. 21 
 
 though generally poor and uneducated. They resembled very 
 closely the Mormon elders in their labours ; and, in fact, a very 
 large number of the leading Mormons had beeu Methodist 
 local-preachers and exhorters ; and the greater number of the 
 new-born Saints had come from that denomination with their 
 former teachers, or else liad followed them soon after. 
 
 The change from Methodist to Mormon was, in course of 
 time, very strongly marked ; but for a considerable period the 
 same, or what seemed the same, influences were at work 
 among the people. Remarkable scenes of excitement were 
 often witnessed at the " love feasts ;" and from the " anxious 
 seats," as they were called, might be heard, the entreaties of 
 self-accusing souls, frightened by a multitude of sins, crying 
 earnestly, nay, wildly, for grace, mercy, and the Holy Ghost ; 
 while many of the supplicants would fall upon the ground, 
 completely overcome by nervous excitement. Then they 
 would have visions, and beheld great and unutterable things ; 
 received the forgiveness of their sins ; and, coming back to 
 consciousness, believed themselves now to be the children of 
 God, and new creatures ; doubting not that they would ever 
 after be happy in the Lord. 
 
 The experience of the Saints at their meetings, when 
 Mormonism was first preached, was exactly similar to this. 
 Into the psychological, moral, or religious causes of these 
 scenes of excitement I cannot here enter ; — I simply mention 
 facts as they came under my own observation. 
 
 The Mormon Missionary often came upon whole communi- 
 ties in the rural districts of England, where this " good time " 
 was in full operation ; and being a man of texts he would 
 follow up the revival, preaching that the spirit of the prophet 
 was subject to the prophet, and not the prophet subject to the 
 spirit. Controversy would arise, and his appeal to Scripture, 
 literally interpreted, was almost invariably triumphant. Even 
 in America, especially in New York and Ohio, the same 
 causes produced the same effects. It was after his mind was 
 excited by a general revival near his native place, that Joseph 
 Smith, the founder of Mormonism, received his first religious 
 impression, and saw, as he asserted, his first angelic vision. 
 His followers, even in the early days of the Church, had 
 revival-meetings and meetings at which the most extra- 
 ordinary excitement was manifested, — when the Saints fell into 
 ecstatic trances, saw heaven opened, and spake with tongues. 
 But Joseph, shrewd man as he was, albeit " a prophet," when 
 he found too many rival seers were coming into the field, 
 
22 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 announced by " special revelation," that these too-gifted per- 
 sons were possessed by devils, and that their visions and 
 prophesyings must be at once suppressed. And he did sup- 
 press them. 
 
 Not long after my own baptism I was present at a meeting 
 of this description, in Southampton. It was called a "testi- 
 mony meeting," and was held in a large upper room situated, 
 if I rightly remember, in Chandos Street. No one from the 
 outside would have supposed that it was the place of assembly 
 of the Saints, for it was generally used for ordinary secular 
 meetings, and I have heard that great objections were at first 
 raised as to the propriety of letting it to the Mormons. 
 
 As we entered the door, we were saluted by Brother 
 Williams, who expressed great pleasure at seeing us. There 
 was a full attendance of the Saints, and every face wore an 
 expression of peaceful earnestness. A person who has never 
 attended a Mormon meeting can form no idea of the joyous 
 spirit which seemed to animate every one present. I am not, 
 of course, speaking of modern meetings, but of meetings as 
 they used to be. Whence and whatever that " spirit " might 
 be which moved the sisters and brethren when they met in 
 early times, I cannot tell ; but I, and with me, ten thousand 
 Mormons and seceding Mormons in Utah, can, from our own 
 experience, testify that that spirit no longer visits the Taber- 
 nacle services over which Brigham Young presides, or the 
 meetings of the Saints since they adopted the accursed doc- 
 trine of polygamy, and forsook the gentle leadings of their 
 first love. 
 
 Often have I heard Mormons of good standing and high 
 position in the Church, lament the "good old times" as they 
 called them, when the outpouring of the Spirit was so abun- 
 dant, and mourn over the cold, barren services of the present 
 day. But the elders explain this away. It is, they say, the 
 fault of the people themselves, and because their own hearts 
 have become cold. 
 
 At the meeting of which I speak, that happy spirit was 
 peculiarly marked. An encouraging smile, or a kind word, 
 greeted me on every side, and, as a newly-converted sister, I 
 received the most cordial welcome. The brethren were seated 
 on forms and chairs and any other convenient article which 
 came to hand, Avhile at the further end of the room was 
 Brother Bench, who was to preside, and with him several 
 other leading Elders. Brother Bench gave out a suitable 
 hymn. 
 
The Labour of my Life begun. 23 
 
 TIic whole congregation joined in the singing, and every 
 heart seemed lifted up with devotion. Then another Elder 
 rose, and offered a spirit-moving prayer ; and then the brother 
 who presided stated that for the time he withdrew his control 
 of the proceedings, and, as the phrase was, he " put the meet- 
 ing in the hands of the Saints," exhorting them not to let the 
 time pass by unimproved. 
 
 Then arose Brother Edwards, a well-tried champion of the 
 faith, and to him every one listened with profound attention, 
 eagerly drinking in his every utterance. I could almost, even 
 now, imagine that he was really inspired. Then I firmly 
 believed he was. His voice thrilled with an earnestness which 
 seemed to us something more than the mere excitement of 
 the soul. A burning fire seemed to flash from his large, 
 expressive eyes ; his features were lighted up with that 
 animation which gives a saint-like halo to the earnest face 
 when fired with indignation or pleading soul-felt truths ; while 
 his whole frame seemed to glow with the glory of a land 
 beyond this earth, as in the most impressive and convincing 
 language he reminded us that our sins had been washed away 
 by the waters of baptism, that upon us had been poured the 
 gifts and graces of the Spirit, and that it was our sacred privi- 
 lege to testify of these tilings. 
 
 The effect of this exhortation was magical. We forgot all 
 our outward surroundings, in the realization that the great 
 work of the Lord was so gloriously begun, and that it would 
 surely go on, conquering and to conquer. One sister — an 
 elderly woman — who was present, unable to control her emo- 
 tion, burst out with that Mormon hymn which I have heard 
 some old Nauvoo Saints declare produced upon the people 
 in those days an enthusiasm similar to that which moves the 
 heart of every true Frenchman when he listens to the soul- 
 stirring notes of the Marseillaise : — 
 
 The Spirit of God like a fire is burning ! 
 
 The latter day glory begins to eoine forth ; 
 TJje visions and blessings of old are returning-, 
 
 The angels arc coming to visit the earth. 
 We'll sing and we'll shout with the armies of heaven, 
 
 Hosannah ! Hosannab to God and the Lamb, 
 All glory to them in the highest he given 
 
 Henceforth and for ever : Amen, and Amen. 
 
 I have often heard in magnificent cathedrals, hoary with 
 the dust of time, and in vast places of amusement dedicated 
 specially to music and to song, the outpouring of that glorious 
 
24 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 vocal flood, -which a chorus of a thousand well-trained singers 
 can alone send forth. I have felt sometimes that entrancing 
 state of ecstasy which thrilled the soul of the seer in Patmos, 
 as he listened to the melody of the angelic throng — "the 
 voice of many waters, and the peal of mighty thunders, and 
 the notes of harpers harping upon their harps ;" but never, 
 even when surrounded by all that was best calculated to 
 produce a sentiment of devotion in my mind — never did I 
 experience so rapt a feeling of communion with " the armies 
 of heaven" — as I felt in that unadorned meeting-room, sur- 
 rounded by those plain but earnest and united people. 
 
 Nor was I alone in this. The feeling was contagious. 
 There was not one present who did not sympathize. And 
 thus, I suppose, melody has always played a prominent part 
 in all religious revivals, whether of divine or human origin. 
 The Apostles had their psalms, and hymns, and spiritual 
 songs ; the Martyrs their Te Deum ; the Waldenses made the 
 hills and vales of Piedmont vocal with their singing ; the 
 Lollards and Hussites had their melodies ; and in more 
 modern days the followers of Luther, Wesley, and (may I 
 add ?) Joseph Smith, have poured out the fulness of their 
 souls after the same fashion. 
 
 The last notes of the hymn had scarcely died away when 
 another, and then another brother, arose and bore testimony 
 to the great work, told what the Lord had done for them 
 personally, told of their zeal for the faith, and fervently ex- 
 horted all present to persevere unto the end. Again prayer 
 was offered, another hymn sung, and the Saints were dismissed 
 with a solemn benediction. 
 
25 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 LIFE AMONG THE SAINTS — MY NEW ENGAGEMENTS. 
 
 I was now a Mormon in every sense of the word, although 
 entirely ignorant of Utah politics and polygamy. 
 
 My dreams were of a life of happiness spent in seeking to 
 convert the whole world to the religion of Jesus, which I be- 
 lieved had been restored again to earth by the ministry of 
 holy angels. It is easy to say that such an ambition was ill- 
 directed when associated with Mormonism, but no one can 
 deny that, in itself, it was the noblest and purest that could 
 inspire the heart of man. There was no sacrifice too great 
 for me to make ; there was no object too dear for me to re- 
 sign, if it stood in the way of my sacred calling. The whole 
 current of my thoughts and plans was now changed. It was 
 henceforth my duty to be entirely forgetful of self, and to de- 
 vote my energies — my all — to the advancement of the King- 
 dom of God. My life was to be identified with the Saints, — 
 my faith required it, and I was willing that it should be so. 
 
 But what of my beloved France, all this time; and my be- 
 trothed husband ? 
 
 This reflection aroused within me a most painful train of 
 thought. How many fond and endearing memories entwined 
 themselves around my heart at that moment, when most I 
 needed to banish them for ever ! With what lingering love 
 did I look back to those dear ones from whom I had parted 
 but a few short weeks before, and whom I might perhaps never 
 see again ! To return would be to desert my newly-adopted 
 friends and faith — to violate the covenant which I had made 
 at baptism to " be ever afterwards governed by the servants 
 of God." 
 
 No ; it was too late — I could not now return ; — I tried to 
 persuade myself that I did not even wish to ; — in a word, 
 affection, and what I thought duty, were at war together in 
 my heart. All my former ties and associations must now be 
 severed, however terrible the cost might be ; and I was bound 
 
26 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 not only to submit, but even to glory in the sacrifice. Thus 
 I argued away the regrets which would at times agitate my 
 very soul, and cause me much painful thought. 
 
 The trial of my profession in the new faith came swiftly to 
 my door. My marriage-engagement must be broken off, 
 though I knew not how that could honourably and conscien- 
 tiously be done. Of myself I had no wish to draw back from 
 anything that I had promised of my own free will ; and much 
 less did I desire to be faithless to my solemnly plighted 
 word. 
 
 I now first realized the all-absorbing influence of an earnest 
 religious faith. I was brought face to face with the fact that 
 I could not marry out of the Mormon Church. The teaching 
 of the Elders was against it, and I saw that in this they were 
 consistent. Great as was the trial, and painful as was the 
 sacrifice, I resolved to be true to my religion. How very 
 earnestly the Elders insisted upon such sacrifices, may be seen 
 from an appeal made at a later date by the "Apostle " Orson 
 Pratt. Brother Orson was in Europe, and, speaking authori- 
 tatively, he set forth the duties of mothers and daughters in 
 " Babylon," as he graciously style J the rest of the world, in 
 the following terms, which unmistakably show the purposes of 
 the leaders relative to marriage : — 
 
 "Many of you have daughters, some of whom are grown to 
 womanhood ; others are now young. Would, you have them 
 gather with you to a land where virtue and peace dwell, where 
 God has promised to protect and bless the righteous ? If so, 
 teach them, as they love their parents, and the Saints, and the 
 truth, not to throw themselves away by marrying Gentiles ; 
 teach them to keep themselves entirely aloof from Gentile 
 courtships and associations. Scores of women who once were 
 counselled as you are now, are mourning in wretchedness, in 
 bondage to Gentile husbands, cut off from all privilege of 
 gathering with their fathers, mothers, brethren, and sisters ; 
 and, in some instances, cut off from even attending the Saints' 
 meetings. But this is not all. They are raising up childreu 
 in these lands to perish with themselves in the general deso- 
 lations coming upon Babylon. But what is still more aggra- 
 vating and heart-rending, they are raising up children not 
 only destined for temporal judgments, but who must for ever 
 be cut off from the presence of God and the glory of the 
 celestial kingdom. ***** What fearful responsi- 
 bility for any young sister to voluntarily take upon herself, 
 after all the warnings she has received. See to it, then, 
 
Life among the Saints. 27 
 
 parents, that you not only do not give your consent, but actually 
 
 forbid all such marriages. 
 
 m * * * # * 
 
 "Let them marry according to the holy order of God, and 
 begin to lay the foundation of a little family kingdom which 
 shall no more be scattered upon the face of the earth, but 
 dwell in one country, keeping their genealogies from genera- 
 tion to generation, until each man's house shall be multiplied 
 as the stars of heaven." 
 
 These were the influences which were brought to bear upon 
 my mind at a time when it was peculiarly sensitive, and open 
 to impressions from without. 
 
 While in this uncertain state a little incident occurred which, 
 though in itself of the most trifling nature, assisted' in forming 
 my ultimate decision. 
 
 It was a beautiful evening in early summer, and my mother 
 and sister asked me to accompany them to one of the testimony- 
 meetings which I have already described. This meeting 
 was very similar to the others, with one notable exception : 
 — it was here that I saw and heard, for the first time in my 
 own experience, the "gift of tongues " exercised. 
 
 Long before I had even heard of Mormonism, I had fre- 
 quently thought how wonderfully useful this gift must have been 
 to the Apostles. One of the great difficulties encountered by the 
 missionary is learning the language of the people among whom 
 lie works and lives. To be able to dispense with all this 
 labour, and to be understood wherever he went, must have 
 lightened the mind of the holy man of half its load ; and 
 naturally, when I heard that the Mormons had "the Gift of 
 Tongues," I supposed it was the self-same power of diverse 
 speech as that exercised by the Apostles ; and I presume the 
 reader will conjecture with me that it was the same " gift," or, 
 at least, some imitation of it. How surprised I was when I 
 first discovered the meaning of the term "speaking in tongues " 
 among the Mormons, may perhaps be imagined when 1 ex- 
 plain what happened at that testimony-meeting. 
 
 After prayer, and singing, and listening to several very 
 fervent addresses from some of the elders, Brother Seely 
 hud delivered a most impassioned speecb, and had hardly 
 concluded, when Sister Ellis, who was sitting near me, gave 
 evidence of being in an abnormal condition of mind, which to 
 me was painful in the extreme. Her hands were clenched, 
 and her eyes had that wild and supernatural glare which is 
 never seen, save in cases of lunacy or intense feverish excite- 
 
28 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 ment. Every one waited breathlessly, listening to catch what 
 she might say ; — you might have heard a pin drop. 
 
 Then in oracular language and with all the impassioned 
 dignity of one inspired of heaven, she began to speak. 
 
 I say " speak," as that term is generally applied to the 
 utterances of the human voice ; but she did not speak in the 
 sense in which we always employ that word ; she simply 
 emitted a series of sounds. They seemed to me chiefly the 
 repetition of the same syllables — something like a child re- 
 peating, la, la, la, le, lo ; ma, ma, ma, mi, ma; dele, dele, dele, 
 hela — followed, perhaps, by a number of sounds strung to- 
 gether, which could not be rendered in any shape by the pen. 
 Sometimes in the Far West, in later years, I have heard old 
 Indian women, crooning weirdly monotonous and outlandish 
 ditties in their native tongue. These wild dirges, more nearly 
 than anything else I ever heard, resembled the prophetic 
 utterances of Sister Ellis ; save only, that the appearance of 
 the latter was far too solemn to admit of even a smile at what 
 she said. 
 
 Ridiculous as this appears when I now write it down on 
 paper, and strange as even then it was to me, there was some- 
 thing so commanding, so earnest, so "inspirational," if I may 
 be allowed the term, in Sister Ellis's manner, that I could not 
 wonder at the attention which the brethren and sisters paid 
 to this gifted speaker in tongues. 
 
 I now know that these extraordinary displays are by no 
 means confined to Mormonism. People of a certain tempera- 
 ment, excited to frenzy — generally by religious enthusiasm — 
 have in all ages given painful illustrations of this mental 
 disease ; as the student who remembers the Convulsionnaires 
 of the middle ages, the Munster Anabaptists of Luther's time, 
 and the various emotional sects of more modern days, will 
 abundantly bear me witness. But at that time, new in the 
 faith, and believing as I did that, as the Elders said, it was 
 the manifestion of the power of God, as foretold by the 
 prophet Joel, though I secretly felt a sense of repugnance, I 
 tried to combat my better sentiments. 
 
 Overcome by the excitement of the moment, Sister Ellis 
 suddenly paused, not so much intentionally as from sheer 
 inability to proceed ; and the leading Elders looked round 
 from one to another to see if any one was present who could 
 interpret. The gift of interpretation is very rarely possessed 
 by the same person who has the gift of tongues, and you may 
 often hear one after another arise and " speak," but there is 
 
Life among the Saints. 29 
 
 no one to " interpret," and the Saints go away unedified. 
 Even when an interpreter is present, there is no authority to 
 determine whether he gives the proper rendering of the 
 souuds uttered, and I have over and over again heard the 
 most ludicrous stories of the comical interpretation placed by 
 some half-witty or half-witted expounder upon these oracles. 
 
 When Brother Brigham — then a man who was lowly in his 
 own eyes — first met the prophet Joseph Smith, at Kirtland, 
 Ohio, there was a scene somewhat like the one I have de- 
 scribed ; and the future leader of " this people," as he calls 
 the Saints, himself spake with tongues and uttered wonderful 
 things. But even supposing his words at that time to have 
 been of the wisest, Ave all know from the example of Balaam's 
 reprover, that it does not require a very high order of intellect 
 to speak in unaccustomed language — and that, too, to some 
 purpose. In later days the exercise of this gift has been dis- 
 couraged by the Elders, and especially by Brigham Young 
 Going one day, some years after, to the Lion-House to see a 
 certain member of the Prophet's little family concerning a 
 subject which lay very near to my heart at that time, we 
 prayed together earnestly and anxiously ; when suddenly the 
 lady's face was lighted up with a supernatural glow, and 
 placing her hand on my head she, sibyl-like, poured forth a 
 flood of eloquence which — although I did not understand a 
 single word that was uttered — I confess sent through me a 
 magnetic thrill as if I had been listening to an inspired 
 seeress. Another of Brigham's wives who was present inter- 
 preted the words of blessing to me, but added : " Do not 
 speak of this, Sister Stenhouse, for Brother Young does not 
 like to hear of these things." Thus we see that one inspired 
 prophet in the presence of another " prophet, seer, and reve- 
 lator," could himself take part at one time in a miraculous 
 manifestation, which in later years he " would not like to hear 
 of," if it was only one of his many wives who enacted the 
 prophet's rule. 
 
 But my meeting ! I have wandered far away from that. 
 Let me proceed. 
 
 After more testimony, more " speaking," and much enthu- 
 siasm, the Saints separated. My sister was talking with a 
 young-lady friend, and regretting that no one present had 
 been able to interpret ; and I stood by, but did not join in the 
 conversation. Suddenly the young lady turned to me and 
 said : " Sister Fanny, do you not see in all this, more and 
 more, the convincing power of God ? " 
 
30 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 Rather hesitatingly I replied, " Yes, I think I do." 
 
 " Think ! sister ? " said she, with warmth. " Oh, yes, I 
 see hy your looks that you are only half convinced ; your faith 
 is not strong enough yet ; but remember, whatsoever is of 
 doubt is sin ! " 
 
 " But," I answered, " I do not see clearly what good we 
 receive from these manifestations when no one can understand 
 them." 
 
 " That is your want of faith — nothing else ; you have the 
 evidence of the truth before you, and you see how these 
 miraculous powers build up the belief of God's people ; and 
 yet you doubt. To doubt is sin : whatsoever is not of faith is 
 sin. You must pray and strive, sister, to be strengthened 
 against temptation." 
 
 All this was not very logical, and it certainly did not help 
 to dispel my doubts. But twice in the course of a few short 
 sentences, she had used a certain expression which, though 
 trifling in itself, was recalled to my mind very forcibly before 
 many days had passed. 
 
 This was my first experience of speaking in tongues. 
 
 But there were every-day matters of much more real im- 
 portance to me than those strange speculations which had 
 recently employed so much of my time and attention. It was 
 now necessary that I should either return to France and fulfil 
 
 my engagement with Monsieur D or else resolve, once and 
 
 for ever, to renounce all those ties which had become so dear 
 to me. 
 
 Meanwhile, religious theories were not the only influences 
 brought to bear upon my mind. 
 
 While day by day I began to be still more doubtful whether 
 it would not after all be sinful in God's sight for me to leave 
 my friends in the new faith and go back to France and my 
 betrothed, who I knew neither was nor ever could become a 
 Saint, other thoughts began to intrude themselves, and to 
 shake my determination. 
 
 Elder Stenhouse's visits to my father's house began to be 
 more frequent than ever, but as he desired to become familiar 
 with the French language, and would bring his French gram- 
 mar with him " to get a lesson," as he said, no particular notice 
 was taken of his frequent coming. He was always welcomed 
 with pleasure by the whole family, and, of course, by myself, 
 who was his teacher. After awhile he took so much delight 
 in his studies that he could not endure to let an evening pass 
 without a lesson ; and somehow or other, I must confess, it 
 
Life among the Saints. 31 
 
 was the first time since I had been a teacher that I felt such a 
 peculiar pleasure in imparting instruction. I suppose it was 
 the interest which all teachers experience when their pupils 
 are studiously inclined. My pupil was particularly studious — 
 so much so that he told my father and mother that he could not 
 study very well in the parlour where every one was conversing, 
 and begged the privilege of having the folding doors thrown 
 partly open, that we might sit in the back parlour and be more 
 quiet. 
 
 This was granted. But after a few evenings my pupil took 
 a notion to partly close the folding doors after him, and, as 
 mother's eyes are ever watchful, one of my sisters was sent 
 in with her sewing to keep us company. But my pupil by 
 this time had made rapid progress in the French language, 
 and while my sister was innocently sewing, he was repeating 
 his lessou to me ; and it was not our fault if in those French 
 phrase-books there were passages expressive of love and 
 devotion. Unconsciously to us both, he formed the habit of 
 repeating those phrases to me at all times, and I formed the 
 equally bad habit of blushing whenever he made use of 
 them. 
 
 This my sister observed, and communicated the fact to my 
 mother, who immediately said that we had better discontinue 
 our French for awhile, as it was monopolizing too much of 
 our time, and keeping both of us from attending to other 
 and more important duties. But the discontinuation of the 
 French lessons did not put an end to the visits of Elder Sten- 
 house. He was a persevering young man ; but the secret of 
 the great interest taken in the French lessons was soon dis- 
 covered. 
 
 Then it was that arguments of all kinds, and strong reasons, 
 were brought forward to shake my purpose of returning to 
 France. I was " in doubt ;" when one day, discussing the 
 point, Elder Stenhouse made use of the very same expression 
 which had fallen from the sister's lips at the testimony-meeting 
 — " Whatsoever is not of faith is sin." My mind unsettled, 
 with all the strength of argument and religion on the one side, 
 and on the other no one to plead for reason and for my return 
 to France, who can wonder that I — at best only a weak and 
 inexperienced girl — listened to the entreaties of my friends, 
 and resolved to stay. 
 
 In the course of a few months I was engaged to be married 
 to Elder Stenhouse. It may, perhaps, seem strange that I 
 could so soon forget the past, with all its pleasant memories and 
 
32 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 renouncing my betrothed husband, accept the attentions of 
 another ; but it should be remembered tbat I now firmly 
 believed it was my duty — a duty which I dared not neglect — 
 to blot out for ever all past associations, however dear to my 
 heart they might be. Besides which, I, in common with all 
 around me, had learned to look upon Elder Stenhouse as almost 
 an angel, on account of what he had endured for the gospel's 
 sake ; and I thought that any girl might consider herself 
 honoured by an offer of marriage from a man in his position in 
 the Church. My marriage in France would, I feared, have been 
 but doubtful happiness in this world, and certain ruin in the 
 next ; but heaven itself would bless my union with one of its 
 own ordained and tried servants. 
 
 Thus it came to pass that on the 6th of February, 1850 — 
 eight months after my arrival in Southampton — I was married 
 to the young Mormon missionary, Elder Stenhouse. I entered 
 upon my new sphere as a missionary's wife, feeling that there 
 were no obstacles so great that I could not overcome them for 
 the gospel's sake. How little could I then imagine the life 
 that was before me ! 
 
 I wrote to my friends in France. I told them frankly all. 
 In return they wrote to me — especially Monsieur D , en- 
 treating me to alter my determination. Kind, and very gentle, 
 were those letters. Dear, very dear, has been the memory of 
 them, and of their writers, in later days. But at the time I 
 felt that the influence which they still retained over me was 
 in itself a sin. 
 
33 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 THE FIRST WHISPERINGS OP POLYGAMY. 
 
 About three months after our marriage it was rumoured that 
 four of the Twelve Apostles had been appointed to foreign 
 missions, and were then on their way to England. 
 
 The Saints in Britain had been for several years without 
 any missionaries direct from the body of the church, and 
 the announcement of this foreign mission was hailed with 
 
 I confess to experiencing much pleasure at the thought of 
 becoming acquainted with a living Apostle. How often in my 
 girlhood I had wished that I had lived when men inspired of 
 God walked the earth. What a joy, I thought, it would have 
 been to have listened to the wisdom of such teachers. Now 
 the time was near when I should realize all the happiness of 
 my day-dreams — when I should really have the privilege of 
 conversing with those chosen men of God. The invitation, 
 therefore, to meet the Conference in London on the 1st of 
 June, was very welcome intelligence. 
 
 We went to the London Conference — my husband and I ; 
 and there for the first time I met with Apostles, who were also 
 Prophets, and Priests, and High-priests, and Teachers, and 
 Elders, and Deacons — all assembled in solemn convocation. 
 
 The four Apostles whom I met at that time were John Tay- 
 lor, Lorenzo Snow, Erastus Snow, and Franklin D. Richards 
 — pleasant and agreeable men, and withal very fair specimens 
 of Mormon missionaries, who had found favour in the eyes of 
 Brigham Young and of the leaders in Zion, and who had 
 been promoted accordingly. They lived comfortably, wore 
 the finest broadcloth, fashionably cut, and were not averse to 
 gold chains, and charms, and signet-rings, and other personal 
 adornments. They put on no particular airs, were as polite 
 and attentive to ladies as gentlemen always are, and could go 
 to a theatre or any other place of amusement without hesita- 
 tion. I afterwards discovered that in one particular, at least, 
 
 D 
 
34 -Aji Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 if not in all, they resembled the early Apostles, for they too 
 could, like St. Paul, " lead about a sister " without any com- 
 punctions of conscience. 
 
 The Southampton Saints had hitherto formed only a branch 
 of the London Conference, but did not form a conference of 
 their own. It was now l'esolved that since so large a number 
 had recently been baptized in Hampshire, the several branches 
 of the church there should be organized into a special confer- 
 ence at Southampton, with Elder Stenhouse as its president ; 
 and the Sunday following was appointed for that purpose, 
 when the Apostle Snow, en route to Italy — to which country 
 he had just been appointed missionary — would honour the 
 occasion with his presence. 
 
 As we returned, some gentlemen in the same railway car- 
 riage, to while away the time, I suppose, entered into a reli- 
 gious discussion. What the subject was I do not now remem- 
 ber ; but I can recollect that a good deal was said as to which 
 of all the numerous Christian sects really possessed Divine 
 authority. Elder Stenhouse took an active part in the argu- 
 ment, and being, like all the Mormon Missionaries at that 
 time, very well posted in Scriptural discussions, he attracted 
 considerable attention, and was much complimented by several 
 persons present. 
 
 The Apostle Lorenzo Snow was silent all the time, but he 
 took note of all that passed. Elder Stenhouse was a man of 
 great zeal and untiring energy — qualities in which perhaps 
 Brother Snow felt himself a little deficient ; and he was going 
 on a mission which required unflagging devotion and perse- 
 verance. We had not been an hour at home, before he told 
 my husband that the Lord had thrice revealed to him that he 
 should accompany him to Italy ! How often — even while I 
 still clung to Mormonism — did it appear strange to me that 
 the " revelations " of distinguished Saints should so fre- 
 quently coincide with their own personal wishes, and come 
 at such convenient times. 
 
 I had laid aside my travelling-dress, and was hastening to 
 provide some refreshment for the Apostle, when my husband 
 came and told me of the revelation which had been so oppor- 
 tunely received. I was at that time as much an enthusiast as 
 Elder Stenhouse himself, and I felt honoured that my husband 
 should be the first English elder appointed to a foreign mis- 
 sion. Here was the fulfilment of my ambition, that we 
 should be in the forefront of the battle, and should obtain 
 distinction as zealous servants of God. But at what a cost 
 
The First Whisperings of Polygamy. 35 
 
 was this ambition purchased ! My poor, weak heart sickened 
 at the thought — I had been but four months married. 
 
 When the Apostle asked me if I were willing that Elder 
 Stenhouse should go to Italy, I answered " Yes," though I 
 felt as if my heart would break. I remembered that in my 
 first transport of joy and gratitude after being baptized, I had 
 made a covenant with the Lord that I would do anything 
 which He might require of me ; and I dared not rebel, or break 
 that vow. Ob, the agony that fell upon my young heart ! It 
 seemed that the weight of a mountain rested upon it when I 
 was told that my husband might be five years absent. He 
 had already been five years a travelling elder without a home, 
 trusting for daily bread to the voluntary kindness of the 
 Saints. He had laboured faithfully, and looked forward to the 
 day when his " Conference " should be established, and he 
 could count upon an improvement in his temporal position, 
 and an early call to emigrate to Zion. In the few months 
 that I had been his wife, it was only natural that I should 
 share his hopes ; but just at the moment when they were 
 about to be realized, hopes and expectations were scattered to 
 the winds. 
 
 On the following day the Saints assembled, the Southamp- 
 ton Conference was organized, and Elder Stenhouse elected 
 its president. Ten minutes later he Avas publicly appointed 
 by the Apostle on a mission to Italy. 
 
 During the few days which intervened between the time 
 when Elder Stenhouse received his appointment, to the hour 
 of his departure, I enjoyed but little of his society. Arrang- 
 ing the affairs of the Conference which he was leaving, and 
 preparation for his mission, fully occupied his attention. I 
 do not think we either of us uttered a word, Avhen alone 
 together, respecting the future that was before us. It was 
 probably better that we did not. There are moments of our 
 life when silence is better than speech ; and it is safer to trust 
 in the mercy of God than to try to shape our own destiny. 
 
 The Saints are noted for the fraternal spirit which exists 
 among them. ■ There are, of course, exceptions ; but, as a rule, 
 every Mormon is willing to help his brother in the faith; act- 
 ing upon the principle " One is your Master, even Christ : 
 and all ye are brethren." The Southampton Saints were no 
 exception to this rule, but showed their kindness both to my 
 husband and myself in a thousand little ways. I have spoken 
 of my unhappiness during that week of preparation, but I 
 must not forget that there were gleams of hope in the dark- 
 
 D 2" 
 
36 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 ness. One occasion I shall never forget — a picnic which our 
 friends held as a kind of valedictory feaist in honour of the 
 missionaries — of Elder Stenhouse in particular. 
 
 Right up the Southampton river, not far from Netley 
 Abbey, is a pleasant and picturesque spot, named Bittern, 
 which I need not too particularly describe, although the 
 memory of its beauty recalls recollections of mingled sadness 
 and pleasure to my mind. There my parents now lived, and 
 thither it was proposed our friends should go. They could 
 obtain all they needed for the picnic at my father's house, 
 and we could take our good things into the woods, and enjoy 
 ourselves as we pleased. We had a very happy time ; for the 
 moment, even / forgot the cloud that was hanging over me ; 
 and our dear friends not only enjoyed themselves to the 
 utmost, but seemed bent upon making the time pass plea- 
 santly to every one else. 
 
 I had been talking to Sister White about the recent doings 
 of the Saints, the establishment of the Conference and the 
 sending away of Elder Stenhouse. I wanted Sister White, as 
 in fact I wanted every one else, to think that I was perfectly 
 happy in the separation, and that I counted my feelings as 
 a wife as nothing when placed in the balance against my duty 
 as a missionary ; and I tried to impress upon her how proud I 
 was that my husband should be the first English Elder 
 entrusted with a foreign mission, We talked together a great 
 deal. She was still quite a young woman, though married, 
 and the mother of four darling little children ; but probably 
 she had a better experience than I had, and could see through 
 my attempts to stifle my natural feelings, while at the same 
 time she sympathized with me. She spoke very kindly to 
 me ; and as we talked, we wandered inadvertently away from 
 the rest of the party. Suddenly she thought of her little boy, 
 and, mother-like, thinking he might be in danger, ran off in 
 search of him, promising' to come back immediately. 
 
 I sat down upon the grass to await her return. I was 
 somewhat excited by the conversation which had passed 
 between us ; but as I sat musing my agitation began to cool 
 down, and I was soon lost in thought, and did not notice that 
 I was not alone. 
 
 I did not hear the light footsteps near me, and did not see 
 a little fairy friend, as I called her, pass between me and the sun. 
 But a tiny hand was laid gently on my shoulder, and looking 
 up I saw the loving eyes of Mary Burton looking straight down 
 into mine. 
 
The First Whisperings of Polygamy. 37 
 
 "Where have you been, dear ?" I asked. " Why, I have 
 hardly seen you all the day." 
 
 "But I knew you were here," she said, "and I thought 
 you were aloue ; and I wanted to see you, and talk with 
 you." 
 
 " Come and sit down beside me, Mary," I said, "and let us 
 have a little chat together." Theu I drew her gently towards 
 me, and she sat down by my side. For a few moments we 
 said nothing, but I was watching her, and waiting to hear 
 what she would say. She seemed such a pretty, such a 
 sweet and gentle girl — more like one of those little birds of 
 glorious plumage and thrilling song that we see glittering 
 among the dew-drops and the dancing leaves, than a child of 
 earth. And I pitied her for her beauty, for such beauty is a 
 snare ; and I wondered whether her innocent soul was as fair 
 and glorious before God as her face was sweet to me ; and I 
 asked whether, in years to come, when the glory of her child- 
 ish radiance had passed away, the brightness of a soul pure 
 and serene would lend a new beauty to her features — the 
 beauty, not of childish innocence, but of a noble womanhood. 
 
 I took her hand in mine, and asked her some trifling ques- 
 tion ; but she did not answer. Suddenly she looked up full 
 into my face, and said, " Sister Stenhouse ; I'm very, very sorry 
 for you." 
 
 " Sorry for me, dear ?" I said. " Why should you be sorry ? 
 I am not sad." 
 
 "You shouldn't say so," she replied ;" you know in your 
 heart you are sad, although you don't say so. It's a fine 
 thing, no doubt, for Elder Stenhouse to go away, though for 
 my part I'd rather stop at home if I loved any one there ; and 
 at any rate, you must feel sorry that he is going away so far, 
 if you love him." 
 
 " But Mary," I said, " you know it is his duty to go ; and he 
 has been called to it by the Apostle, and it is a great honour." 
 
 " Oh yes, I know that," she replied, " I know that." Then 
 we relapsed into silence for some few moments. Presently 
 drawing nearer to me, she said again, quite suddenly, " Sister 
 Stenhouse, do you know the meaning of the word Poly- 
 gamy ? " 
 
 " Why, what a funny question to ask me, child ! " I ex- 
 claimed." 
 
 " Child, you call me, Sister Stenhouse ; but I'm not a child — 
 at least not quite a child ; I shall be fifteen next birthday." 
 
 " Well, dear," I said, " I did not mean to offend you ; and 
 
^S An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 I call you ' child ' because I love you ; but you asked me such 
 a strange question, and used such a strange word." 
 
 This was quite true, for at that time the word Polygamy 
 was as seldom used as the word " polyandry," or any other 
 Avord signifying a state of things with which Ave haA 7 e nothing 
 to do. 
 
 " I'm not offended," she said ; " only people have a Avay of 
 treating me as if I were only such a very little girl : I sup- 
 pose I look so." 
 
 She certainly did look so, and I suppose she read my 
 thoughts. Womanhood, by-ancl-by, brought to her more of 
 reality, both in face and figure, as well as in the terrible facts 
 of life ; but at that time the term " little fairy," which I have 
 so often used respecting her, seemed the most appropriate. 
 The meaning of that terrible word Polygamy she under- 
 stood, in later years, fully as well as I did. 
 
 " Well, dear," I said, " why did you ask me that strange 
 question ?" 
 
 " You must promise not to be angry Avith me if I tell you," 
 she answered ; " and yet I think you ought to know." 
 
 I readily promised — what could I have refused her ? — and 
 she said, — 
 
 " The other day two of the sisters were at our house — I 
 may not tell you their names for fear of making mischief — 
 and they were talking together between themselves, and did 
 not notice that I was present — or else they didn't care. And 
 I heard one of them tell the other, that she had heard, secretly, 
 that in Zion men were allowed to have many wives ; and she 
 used that word Polygamy very often, and said that was 
 what the people of the world called it." 
 
 " Well, Mary dear," I replied, " that is no great secret. We 
 have all heard that said before. Wicked people who hate the 
 Gospel say that, and a great deal more, in order to bring 
 scandal upon the Church ; but of course it isu't true." 
 
 " Ah, but I haven't told you all," she said. " The sisters had 
 a long talk about it, and they explained whom they heard it 
 from, and it was from no one outside the Church, And then 
 one of them said that Elder Stenhouse had heard all about 
 it, and kneAv it was true, only of course he did not talk about 
 such things yet ; but that the time would come when every- 
 one would acknowledge it, and all the Saints Avould have 
 many wives. * I was frightened when I heard this, and very 
 angry — for I thought of you — and I spoke to her, and said it 
 Avas all untrue, and I'd ask Elder Stenhouse. And they 
 
The First Whisperings of Polygamy. 39 
 
 scolded me very much for saying so, and said it was very 
 wicked for a child to listen ; and that was why I did not like 
 you to call me ' child.' " 
 
 "Well, darling," I said, "I'll not offend you any more in 
 that way ; and it was very good of you to tell me anything 
 you thought I ought to know." Then I kissed her, and con- 
 tinued, " But, after all, I don't think it's of any consequence. 
 It's the old scandal, just as in the early days they said wicked 
 things of Christ and His apostles. Elder Stenhouse knows all 
 that people say, but he has told me again and again that there 
 is not a word of truth in it ; and I believe him." 
 
 " You think so, Sister Stenhouse," she replied, " and I sup- 
 pose I ought to think so too ; but if it's all false how did 
 people first begin to think of it ? People don't say that the 
 Mormons are murderers or thieves, because we have given 
 them no reason to think so. Then why should they think of 
 such an unheard-of thing as Polygamy — surely there must 
 have been some reason. Don't you think so ? " 
 
 "No, dear," I answered, "Elder Stenhouse says that some 
 very wicked men have sometimes joined the Church, and 
 have done all manner of shocking things, so that they had to 
 be cut off ; and then they went about trying to make other 
 people believe that the Mormons were as wicked as they 
 were. There was John C. Bennett, who lived a frightful life 
 at Nauvoo, and then tried to make out that Joseph Smith 
 -was as bad as he was. And Marsh, the president of the 
 twelve apostles, and Orson Hyde, when they apostatized not 
 only said bad things of Joseph, but took affidavit, and swore 
 solemnly before the magistrates, that the prophet had been 
 guilty of the most fearful crimes." 
 
 I kissed her again; and she said, "Well, perhaps you are 
 right ;" but I could see that in her heart she was not 
 convinced. 
 
 Then we talked of ourselves and all that interested us, and 
 she told me all her childish hopes and ambitious ; and to me — 
 young as I was myself — it was pleasant to listen to her in • 
 nocent prattle. She promised to come and see me when 
 Elder Stenhouse had gone, and I should be left alone; and 
 when we got back to the rest of the party we were as firm 
 friends as if we had known each other a lifetime. 
 
 At midnight, Saturday, June loth, I80O, the steamer left 
 Southampton for Havre-de-Grace, bearing on board the first 
 two Mormon missionaries to Italy ; one of them was my 
 husband. 
 
40 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 The Saints had called in the evening to hid Elder Sten- 
 house good-bye; and as he was, of course, to travel "without 
 purse or scrip," they vied with each other in showing their 
 appreciation of his position and his devotion to the faith. 
 The poorest among them would not be denied the privilege of 
 contributing their mites to aid in the conversion of the Italians; 
 and none of the brethren felt that they could show too much 
 kindness to the departing missionary. Just in this way have 
 all the foreign missions of the Mormon Church been projected 
 and sustained ; the elements of success were always present — 
 devotion and self-abnegation on the part of the missionaries, 
 and an earnest, self-sacrificing disposition on the part of the 
 people, commanding respect, however erroneous or foolish the 
 foundation of their faith. 
 
 In the bustle of departure, Mr. Stenhouse seemed never to 
 have thought about himself, and certainly he made no prepara- 
 tion for me. I had full confidence in him, however, and loved 
 him devotedly, and knew that my love was returned. But 
 men who look for miracles, and count upon special providences 
 for daily bread, are not generally very prudent or far-seeing in 
 their domestic arrangements. Elder Stenhouse had been told 
 that " the Lord would provide," and it therefore seemed to him 
 superfluous that he should interfere ; it would have been a 
 lack of faith to have shown too much interest in what might 
 become of me. He left me with only 11. 
 
 I now realized the loneliness of my position ; there was no 
 earthly friend to whom I could turn for sympathy at a time 
 like this. Before my Heavenly Father alone I could pour out 
 the bitterness of my soul and all my griefs, and in His 
 presence weep and pray. 
 
41 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 MY IIUSDAND'S MISSION — I AM LEFT ALONE. 
 
 When the Apostle Snow called upon Mr. Stenhouse to go to 
 Italy, the Saints willingly accepted the responsibility of pro- 
 viding for me during his absence. 
 
 They thought it was more an honour than a burden to have 
 this charge committed to them ; but it was very humiliating to 
 me to be placed in such a position, however anxious they 
 might be to assist me and to serve the general cause. To 
 face opposition, or to give my all for my religion, I was willing 
 indeed ; but to depend upon others for my daily bread was 
 utterly repugnant to my feelings, although, of course, if the 
 Church sent away my husband, whose proper place and duty 
 it was to support his family, it was only right that the mem- 
 bers of that Church should undertake the responsibility. But 
 then, and at many other times during my life, I have learned 
 the truth of Christ's precept, " It is more blessed to give than 
 to receive." 
 
 The American Apostle was not without worldly wisdom 
 when he proposed that an unmarried man should be appointed 
 to preside over the Southampton Conference, as his wants 
 would be few. But Mr. Stenhouse had been solicited by a 
 friend, who had a wife and children, to secure his appoint- 
 ment; and with ready confidence in that friend, he overlooked 
 his own interests and my welfare, and I was left to pass 
 through trials and privations which I can never forget. 
 
 The Saints were very kind, and took pleasure in doing all 
 they could for me ; but the mistake which my husband com- 
 mitted in leaving his friend to succeed him as president of the 
 Conference was soon apparent. The " friend " thought of his 
 own family first, and the family required all that the Saints 
 could reasonably be expected to contribute; and even then they 
 had not enough. I therefore received only such little sums as 
 could be withheld from them; and to make the matter worse, 
 those who had any property or estate weie counselled to sell all, 
 
42 An Englishivoman in Utah. 
 
 and " gather to Zion." The more wealthy Saints were soon 
 gone; and the current expenses of the church fell heavily 
 upon those who were hardly able to support their own 
 families. 
 
 They tried to send me something every week, and I have 
 no doubt they did send me all that they could. When their 
 contributions reached four or five shillings (about $1) I 
 thought myself fortunate ; more often I did not receive the 
 value of fifty cents in the whole week, at times less, and some- 
 times nothing at all. That unfailing comfort to respectable 
 English poverty, a cup of tea, was my greatest luxury, but at 
 times for weeks together I had not even that ; I had nothing 
 but bread ; but I never complained. 
 
 Whenever it was possible I concealed my true situation 
 from every one, and in my almost daily letters to my husband 
 not a shadow of a hint was ever dropped relative to my own 
 privations. I wanted him to be successful in his mission, 
 and I feared that his energy would desert him if he knew of my 
 difficulties. I was in extreme poverty, certainly, but for myself 
 I was not in trouble. God would provide for me, I felt ; and it 
 was glorious to suffer in a sacred cause. 
 
 But darker days, days of severer trial, were creeping slowly 
 near me. Up to this time I had worshipped God and loved 
 my husband with a perfect heart. Now the dark shadow of 
 an accursed thing was looming in the distance, and approach- 
 ing surely if slowly. 
 
 In some way an idea had got abroad that the Mormons 
 were somewhat unsound respecting the marriage question. 
 Still the elders stoutly denied the charge, and the more they 
 were accused the more strenuous became their denials. 
 
 At a public discussion at Boulogne-sur-mer, in France, the 
 Apostle John Taylor, in reply to the accusations of Polygamy 
 which were brought against him, said, — 
 
 " We are accused here of actions the most indelicate and dis- 
 gusting, such as none but a corrupt and depraved heart could 
 have conceived. These things are too outrageous to admit of 
 belief. ... I shall content myself with quoting our views 
 of chastity and marriage from a work published by us, contain- 
 ing some of our articles of faith — Doctrine and Covenants." 
 
 He then proceeded to quote from the " Book of Doctrine and 
 Covenants " such passages as the following : — 
 
 " Marriage is ordained by God unto man ; wherefore it is 
 lawful that he should have one wife, and they twain should be 
 one flesh (p. 218). 
 
My Husband's Mission. 43 
 
 He quoted many other things also, among which might be 
 enumerated the following : — 
 
 " Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt 
 cleave unto her, and none else." 
 
 He quoted also many other passages of Scripture which had 
 reference to the subject — each powerful to put aside even 
 the idea of polygamy ; and each equally powerful as an argu- 
 ment against polygamy itself. 
 
 Let the reader here note the value of what Mormons say 
 when their faith is called in question. See and judge. 
 
 Brother Taylor, who spoke at that meeting, and utterly 
 denied polygamy, had himself — at that very moment when he 
 so atrociously perjured himself, and when he swore that no 
 Mormon had more than one wife— -five wives living in Salt 
 Lake City. One of his friends there present had two wives ; 
 and the other was married to a mother and her own 
 daughter ! 
 
 Any conclusion, any expression of disgust at these abomina- 
 tions and deliberate perjuries, I leave to the reader. 
 
 Among those who came to see Mr. Steuhouse before he left 
 for Italy, was Elder Margetts, an English elder of some promi- 
 nence in the British mission. At the picnic of which I have 
 already spoken, I noticed that this elder was more than usually 
 attentive to a pretty young sister who was also present. There 
 was always an affectionate familiarity among the Saints ; as I 
 previously mentioned, they were like brothers and sisters, and 
 addressed each other as such. But the attentions of the elder 
 I speak of pointed a little beyond all this. He could not, per- 
 haps, be accused of any open impropriety, but he certainly 
 looked much more like the girl's lover than an ordinary friend 
 or her spiritual adviser. 
 
 I knew this Elder's family in London, and his conduct 
 pained me a good deal. So I drew the attention of my 
 husband to the circumstance; and he said the Elder was 
 foolish, but he would speak to them both ; and this he did. 
 
 After the departure of the missionaries, this elder remained 
 for several days. He then returned to London, but it was not 
 long before he was again in Southampton, and he still paid 
 marked attention to the same young sister. This caused un- 
 pleasant remarks among the Saints, who at this time cer- 
 tainly did not believe that polygamy was practised in Utah. 
 
 At a later date this Elder, with some others, was again in 
 Southampton, and I was invited to take tea with them at the 
 house of one of the Saints. In the course of the evening 
 
44 -An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 there was a general conversation on " the work of the Lord," 
 in which I, of course, was greatly interested. 
 
 Whenever any of the missionaries were visiting, the Saints 
 would seek their society, just like children who were glad to 
 meet again their parents after a long absence ; and at such 
 times they were at liberty to ask what questions they pleased. 
 On the evening I speak of, I well remember that the general 
 subject of conversation was the apostasy of the Christian 
 Church from the true order of God's salvation. Prominence 
 was given to the history of Abraham and his descendants, and 
 occasional allusion was made to their marital relations ; but 
 nothing directly was spoken. It was very evident that these 
 elders only wanted to drop a word or two here and there, to 
 suit those who wanted it ; but nevertheless they spoke so 
 obscurely and mysteriously that they could easily have re- 
 tracted what was said if any one had accused them of teaching 
 a doctrine which they were unwilling openly to avow. 
 
 When I returned home that night I was fully satisfied that 
 the Elder I have spoken of had a reason for his frequent visits 
 to Southampton, and shortly after the young sister went to 
 London. Whether Polygamy was ever to be a doctrine of the 
 Church or not, it was very clear to me that the London Elder 
 was a polygamist at heart. The more my mind dwelt on 
 these things, the more sick at heart did I become, and faint 
 and weary. 
 
 I had, however, personal cares and trials enough to engage 
 my attention. I found that I could not depend upon the 
 Saints to provide me with even the barest necessaries of life, 
 so I looked about me and made inquiries for some light em- 
 ployment by which I might support myself. My health at 
 that time would not have allowed me to do much, but for a 
 long time I could not get anything at all to do. I had, of 
 course, been used to teaching, but employment of that kind it 
 was just then impossible for me to take, even if I could have 
 got it ; the only resource which seemed left to me was to 
 find occupation for my needle, and it was a long and weary 
 time before I could obtain even this. 
 
 At length I got a little plain sewing to do, and out of the 
 miserable pittance thus earned I contrived to pay my rent and 
 provide a few necessaries ; but at times that too was beyond 
 my power, and I have gone a fortnight at a time with nothing 
 to eat but dry bread. Still my faith never failed. And thus 
 the weary days passed by. 
 
 Now, however, a new interest began to gather round my life, 
 
My Husband's Missoin. 45 
 
 for I expected before the end of the year the arrival of a little 
 stranger to share my affections and my care. This certainly 
 was a sad beginning of domestic bliss, but still the thought 
 was pleasant to me. I had at that time no one to aid me or 
 comfort me. The Saints were very kind, but they could not 
 supply the place of an absent husband. My dearest friend, 
 Mary Burton, used to come as often as she could to see me, 
 and her presence was like a gleam of sunshine ; but she was 
 so young, and innocent, and happy, that I bad not the heart 
 to trouble her with my sorrows. All my jewellery and trinkets, 
 and the greater part of my wardrobe, bad gone in providing for 
 my daily wants, and in preparing those necessary trifles upon 
 which a young mother bestows so much loving care. My 
 health was daily failiug, and sometimes I doubted if I should 
 ever be well and strong again. But all that I suffered was for 
 the Church, and tbat tbought sustained me. 
 
 Often I would sit alone and think — think of the past, and 
 all my early day-dreams of love, and hope, and bliss ; think 
 of my husband in a far-off land devoting his life and all his 
 energies to the preaching of the latter-day glory ; think of those 
 whisperings of that accursed doctrine which has since brought 
 desolation and anguish to the hearts of so many weary women ; 
 think of my future life, dark as its promise even then ap- 
 peared. 
 
 Sometimes I heard from Italy — heard how my husband was 
 progressing with his work, and with wifely love I sympathized 
 with him in all his difficnlties, for he told me how arduous the 
 task was in which he was engaged. 
 
 It was not the expectation of the Mormon Apostles that the 
 missionaries would do much in Catholic Italy. The same 
 causes were in operation there as affected the work in France. 
 Few, if any, really good Roman Catholics have ever joined the 
 Saints. The Irish mission was never successful, and the same 
 may be said of the French and Italian missions. In France 
 and Italy by far the greater part of the people might be classed 
 nnder two heads — Roman Catholics, and infidels. The first 
 had already an infallible guide in which they trusted; and as 
 for the infidels, they ridiculed the idea of any guide at all. 
 Both classes were utterly devoid of that acquaintance with 
 Scripture of which the Mormon missionaries understood so 
 well how to take advantage, and which rendered those so sus- 
 ceptible to religious influences who took the Bible as their 
 basis. The missionaries in Italy soon experienced the diffi- 
 cnlties presented by these facts. 
 
46 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 After their arrival in Genoa, Mr. Stenhouse was directed to 
 carry the gospel to the Waldenses — those brave old Protestants 
 of the dark ages, who so manfully suffered, even unto death, 
 for conscience sake ; and some time after he had begun his 
 labours among them, the Apostle Snow joined him. 
 
 Whatever they migbt believe or teach theoretically, there 
 can be no doubt that the American Apostles were largely en- 
 dowed with the " organ " of caution. Preaching without purse 
 or scrip among people who either detest you as a heretic or 
 else regard you with profound indifference is not a pleasant 
 task, and the Mormon Apostles very prudently " took up " 
 liberal collections in England before they started. Had it not 
 been for this common-sense proceeding, I am at a loss to say 
 what would have become of the missionaries in Italy ; and as 
 it was, their lot was not a very enviable one. 
 
 Besides the scarcity of money, the other great difficulty ex- 
 perienced by the missionaries was learning the language ot 
 their destined converts. For many years it was supposed 
 among the Saints that the "gift of tongues" would be all- 
 sufficient for this purpose. The two distinguished Apostles, 
 Orson and Parley P. Pratt, whose writings did so much for 
 Mormonism, had both of them eloquently discussed the subject 
 in print; but the missionaries soon discovered that for practical 
 purposes the " gift " was not of much service ; and the two 
 Pratts themselves afterwards experienced — the one in South 
 America and the other in Austria — the fallacy of their theories. 
 Without the " gift " in any shape the work in Italy was neces- 
 sarily very slow, and an Elder who could speak a little French 
 was sent out from London to assist them. They had at last 
 come to the conclusion that if the Lord would not bestow the 
 "gift " upon them, they must try to acquire it themselves. 
 
 The Apostle Snow now thought of sending the Gospel to 
 the Swiss, and Mr. Stenhouse was selected for the work. But 
 before he went it was determined that the Church in Italy 
 should be " organized," and about a week later, I received a 
 long account of how this was done. I heard how, one plea- 
 sant November morning, the Apostle Snow, Elders Stenhouse 
 and Woodward, together with several Waldenses whom they 
 had converted, ascended the mountain side contiguous to La 
 Tour, and overlooking the fertile valley of Pinerello. There 
 they sang praises and prayed. They christened the place 
 " Mount Brigham;" and the stone upon which the three elders 
 stood and offered up a written prayer, they named " The Rock 
 of Prophecy ;" and there they organized the church, dedicat- 
 
My Husband's Mission. 47 
 
 ing the soil of Italy to the Lord. Moreover, then and there 
 my husband was solemnly consecrated a " High-Priest after 
 the Order of the Son of God." 
 
 All this I heard, and much more; and in confiding faith that 
 this was indeed a great and glorious work, I rejoiced that I 
 had been accounted worthy to suffer patiently at home, if only 
 my husband might successfully fulfil his task abroad. 
 
 After that I heard that he had left Italy, and had arrived in 
 Geneva, believing that he would be more successful among the 
 Swiss than the Italians. 
 
 A few days after the arrival of the missionary iu Geneva, 
 an event occurred which interested my own self personally — 
 my little Clara was born. Very happy was I when I looked 
 upon her tiny little face for the first time, and kissed her for 
 being the prettiest baby in the world ; very happy was I 
 when I folded her in my arms, and talked to her as if she 
 could understand all that I said; very happy indeed, as I 
 looked at her again and again, and marvelled whether she 
 really could be, indeed and certainly, my own baby girl. It 
 seemed as if baby's papa would never come back again, but I 
 had a companion now in my child ; and weak and weary as I 
 was, with new responsibilities and less power to help myself, 
 I found comfort in my new care, and realized the truth of the 
 old Scotch song : — 
 
 " Muckle licbter is the load 
 When luve bears up the creel." 
 
 I was not now alone. 
 
 Then, too, came round to see me, Maiy Burton. She was 
 as fond and tender to me as ever, and ti'ipped quietly about 
 the room, and tried to wait upon me, and sat by the bed, play- 
 ing with baby, calling her all the pretty things she could 
 think of; and Ifelt that her presence brought new light and 
 life to my room. She brought me another letter from my 
 husband, and I found that he was now acquiring for himself 
 the " gift " of the French tongue, unable to do much else, as 
 he and everybody didn't understand each other. He could not 
 yet talk to the French-speaking Genevese ; and the English- 
 speaking residents would not listen to him ; they had only 
 heard of Mormonism as a clumsy fraud, and looked upon the 
 prophet Joseph Smith as an impostor. So, for a whole winter, 
 he sat shut up in his own room, poring over a French gram- 
 mar, and deploring his hard fate in being denied the gift of 
 tongues. 
 
 In the spring of the new year I received a distinguished 
 
48 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 visitor, who kindly interested himself in my welfare. The 
 Apostle Lorenzo Snow left Piedmont for England, and passed 
 through Geneva en route. On his way to London he called 
 upon me at Southampton, and expressed much sympathy for 
 me. He noticed the change in my appearance, and immediately 
 sent for Mr. Stenhouse to return to England. He acted very 
 kindly by me at that time ; did all that he could to assist me, 
 and said that he never again would ask any man to make such 
 a sacrifice. I fully appreciated all his kindness ; but much as 
 I wanted to, I did not venture to ask him about the truth or 
 falsity of those terrible suggestions which I had heard whis- 
 pered of late. 
 
 My husband hastened home, coming by way of Calais, in 
 order to meet his president and receive his instructions. The 
 Apostle showed much sympathy for him, and very early in the 
 morning accompanied him some miles to the railway station ; 
 but he never once mentioned how I had been situated in 
 Southampton until he left him, and then he exacted from him 
 a promise not to open his lips whatever he might learn. 
 
 I need not say that I was happy to see my husband once 
 again, and to present to him his little daughter, who was now 
 five months old. He was, of course, soon busy in visiting the 
 Saints, and he received from them many tokens of attachment. 
 
 In the beginning of June a General Conference of the 
 branches of the Church in Britain was held in London. The 
 Apostles and foreign missionaries were present, and my hus- 
 band and I were also there. We had speeches and prayers. 
 The business of the Conference occupied but very few minutes, 
 for no measure was questioned. Among the Mormons there 
 are no opinions, no discussion. The presiding head has made 
 out his programme before he comes to the Conference ; he 
 knows what he wants to do, and no one ever questions him. 
 He may perhaps for form's sake invite the brethren to speak 
 on any point he introduces ; but when he has furnished the 
 clue to his wishes, the Elders who speak only spend their time 
 in arguments in favour of his measures. At the Conference of 
 which I speak the reports of the native elders were very cheer- 
 ing to us. Throughout England and Wales they had been 
 most successful in adding members to the Church. Mormon- 
 ism was then most successfully preached in Britain. There 
 were more Mormons there than in all Utah Territory : there 
 were fifty Conferences, with over seven hundred organized 
 " branches," and more than six thousand men ordained to 
 the priesthood. That peculiar influence which the Mormons 
 
My Husband's Mission. 49 
 
 call "the Spirit," of which I have spoken elsewhere, was 
 spoken of by the Elders as being a common experience every- 
 where. 
 
 During all that Conference I listened carefully for a word 
 from the lips of any of the speakers which might indicate in 
 any way that Polygamy was part of the Mormon faith ; but 
 not a whisper, not a hint, was uttered. I naturally concluded 
 that tbe Eiders, whose doubtful expressions at Southampton 
 had so troubled my mind, were misinformed or unsafe men. 
 Still I could not altogether banish my apprehension of coming 
 evil ; but so bound to secrecy were those who did know of 
 Polygamy being practised in Utah, that there was not one 
 who would admit it, and even my own husband's lips were 
 sealed to me. He did not deny it, but he would not talk 
 about it, and did everything he could to banish the thought 
 from my mind. 
 
 At that Conference the Apostle Snow spoke very strongly 
 of the way in which I bad been neglected ; and it was ar- 
 ranged that Elder Stenhouse should return to Switzerland, 
 and that I should accompany him. My knowledge of French 
 was expected to be very serviceable. 
 
 We now made preparations for an early departure, and pre- 
 pared to leave our friends. To the reader it may seem strange 
 for a man, his wife, and babe, to be sent out in this way on a 
 mission without any proper arrangement for their mainte- 
 nance; but to my mind, at the time, it seemed to me not only 
 perfectly proper, but altogether in accordance with God's word 
 and commandment. 
 
 My young friend, Mary Burton, came round to bid me good- 
 bye ; and the poor girl wept, and I wept with her, and we 
 kissed one another tenderly as our tears mingled. We had 
 become very dear to each other, and the thought of separation 
 for years, or perhaps for ever, was very painful to us. She 
 hung about my neck at the last moment, kissing me, and beg- 
 ging me not to forget to write to her very, very often; and 
 this I gladly promised her, asking the same in return. Then 
 with a fond embrace we parted, and it was years before 1 saw 
 her dear face again. 
 
 Thus it was that we three — my husband, my babe, and 
 myself — set forth on our pilgrimage to convert the Swiss. 
 
 It was with no ordinary feelings that I entered the ancient 
 city of Geneva. I was not ignorant of its history, and the 
 struggles of its inhabitants for civil and religious liberty. It 
 had been the refuge for the English Protestants during the 
 
 E 
 
50 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 fiery clays of Queen Mary; just as in the time of the French 
 Revolution it was the refuge of infidel and Papist, royalist 
 and republican alike. There Calvin lived in gloomy austerity, 
 battling with Rome ; there Servetus, the Unitarian, was con- 
 demned to be roasted alive as a heretic ; and there we ex- 
 pected in our own humble way to be able to testify, by our 
 suffering and patience, to what we firmly believed was the 
 truth. 
 
 In free countries like England and the United states — free 
 from the surveillance of a military police, it is easy, if he 
 wishes it, for the missionary to mount a chair at a street cor- 
 ner, or hold forth under a tree ; and such has often been done. 
 But all over continental Europe there is hardly a place where 
 this would be possible. In the various grand duchies, king- 
 doms, and empires, paternal governments look too closely after 
 the morals and religion of their subjects ; while under the 
 ephemeral republics, as long as they happen to last, there is 
 often to be found, under the name of liberty, a despotism more 
 despotic than under the rule of royalty. It is the colporteur, 
 the man of books and tracts, who makes the converts there ; 
 and in this slow way we soon found that we were destined to 
 proceed. 
 
 During my husband's former stay in Geneva he had had 
 neither Mormon books nor Mormon papers, with the exception 
 of a paper published at Boulogne, containing a letter by the 
 Apostle Taylor, in French and English. This single copy he 
 lent to a Genevese to read, and never saw it again ; and yet 
 in a short time, even before he could properly speak French, 
 he converted and baptized two men in the Rhone, one of 
 whom is to-day a devoted Mormon in Southern Utah. 
 
 His first attack was upon a shoemaker, whom he visited for 
 the purpose of repairs. While the shoemaker worked, Elder 
 Stenhouse talked ; and as the English are all reputed wealthy 
 on the continent, the friendly overtures of the Mormon mis- 
 sionary were graciously received. As they grew intimate, 
 Elder Stenhouse would sit down on the bench beside the man 
 as he worked, and taking from his pocket a French Testament, 
 which he always carried about with him, would try to read it 
 aloud — the good-natured shoemaker undertaking to correct 
 his pronunciation. In this way he kept his auditor's attention 
 constantly fixed upon certain passages, more especially those 
 which spoke of baptism for the remission of sins, and the 
 laying on . of hands for the gift of the Holy Ghost. So per- 
 sistent was he that at last the shoemaker's curiosity was 
 
My Husband's Mission. 5 1 
 
 awakened, and finally he was baptized ; but unfortunately, not 
 long after a small pamphlet upon the mission of Joseph Smith 
 fell into his hands, and made shipwreck of his faith. 
 
 With his second convert he was much more successful. 
 This time it was his landlord who was to be the subject of 
 attack. He was a tailor, and, fortunately for the missionary, 
 somewhat talkative. The same arrangement was made about 
 reading and correction, and with a like result — the tailor was 
 baptized. Just at this time came the Apostle Snow's letter, 
 telling my husband to return to England ; and as he might 
 not leave the country without a representative, he ordained 
 the tailor a priest in the Mormon Church. 
 
 When we arrived in Geneva, Monsieur le tailleur was all 
 that constituted the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day 
 Saints in Switzerland. 
 
 Soon a few personal friends began to gather, to hear the 
 English missionary tell about the new religion; and my hus- 
 band being very much in earnest, interest before long began 
 to be excited. I remember well our first meetings among the 
 Swiss — half-a-dozen people sitting round a table with open 
 Bibles before them, passages from which Mr. Stenhouse was 
 trying in very bad French to make them understand. I pitied 
 him very much, but those who were present made as if they 
 did not notice his embarrassment, and listened with marked 
 attention. Among the Mormons it is a woman's duty to keep 
 silence ; I therefore remained a listener only. But at the 
 close of the service — for such it was regarded — when I might 
 speak, my missionary labours began; I was aroused to eloquence, 
 and our parting was longer than our meeting. 
 
 The warmth with which the few who were present responded 
 to our efforts satisfied me that they had come under the same 
 mysterious influence which I had observed in England. I 
 was then convinced that Mormonism could awaken the Chris- 
 tian soul more to a realization of what it already possessed, 
 than impart to it any new moral or religious qualities. Mor- 
 monism of itself never made Christians, but Christianity 
 built up Mormonism. It was an awakening to the teachings 
 of Christ and His Apostles that begat confidence in the mis- 
 sion of the Mormon Prophet. 
 
 Although we observed the very strictest economy, it did 
 not take long for us to exhaust what little money we brought 
 from England. This placed us in a very awkward position. 
 It is inconvenient enough to be without money in one's own 
 country, where one understands and is understood by every- 
 
 E 2 
 
52 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 body ; but to be in a strange land, especially in a country like 
 Switzerland, where every Englishman is supposed to be a 
 " milor " and the bounteous dispenser of unlimited wealth, it is 
 more than inconvenient. 
 
 We left our first quarters, where we had had so many visitors, 
 and rented a room from a widow woman, who fortunately was 
 not inquisitive. She had a family of children to support; and 
 as we paid our rent monthly in advance, she had no occasion 
 to know whether or not we kept a bank account ; and we were 
 thankful that it was so, for, had it been so ordained, we could 
 there have starved to death without attracting the notice of 
 any one. A nice thing to be thankful for ! 
 
 We were not hopeless, though we were heavy hearted ; but 
 we had expected trial, and could not complain, for we knew 
 from the beginning that thus it would probably be. 
 
 One day my husband received a letter from an infidel gen- 
 tleman who lived in Lausanne, a neighbouring canton, re- 
 questing him to come and see him, that they might talk 
 together over Mormonism, for he had heard of us aud of our 
 doctrine; and my husband resolved to visit him before our 
 money was all gone. 
 
 When Mr. Stenhouse reached Lausanne, he visited first a 
 Protestant minister with whom he had some slight acquaint- 
 ance, and who was also interested in Mormonism, and told 
 him that he was going to call upon the Gouverneuv de 
 l'Hopital. The minister was greatly opposed to my husband 
 visiting such a man. "He is a socialist," he said, "a revolu- 
 tionist ; he fought at the barricades ; he is a mauvais svjet, 
 and anything but a fit person to be spoken to about re- 
 ligion." 
 
 This only increased the interest which Mr. Stenhouse felt 
 in the governor, and made him more than ever determined to 
 see him ; and he did see him, although the good minister had 
 represented him " aussi noir que le diable." So they met ; and 
 my husband began the work for which he had come. They 
 had long talks together, and my husband — as did the elders 
 ever in such cases — spoke to the governor of redemption 
 through Christ, aud baptism for the remission of sins. Faith 
 is not an act of the will. Like the unseen wind, it comes, and 
 we see the power thereof, but know not whence it proceeds. 
 Thus ^t first the unbelieving governor found it; he might 
 find himself no match for the arguments of his opponent, but 
 he could not force his heart to believe, and he was by no 
 means a willing convert. My husband, however, remained 
 
My Husband's Mission. 53 
 
 with him ; and before he left, the governor had been baptized 
 into the church. 
 
 Our new convert proved to be a roost excellent and worthy 
 man, notwithstanding his former infidelity, and he was subse- 
 quently a great aid to us in our mission. We felt satisfied 
 that the expenses of that journey had been well spent, although 
 a i'ew francs at that time could ill be spared. 
 
 But our circumstances seemed to be getting worse and 
 worse, and my health began to fail. For several months 
 neither of us had had sufficient nourishment, and my anxieties 
 increased my physical weakness. I was dispirited, yet I feared 
 to complain, or even to let my husband know what I felt. At 
 length I fell really ill, and could not leave my bed. I well 
 remember the solemn silence that reigned in our home one 
 day. I had risen from my bed, weak, and oh, so faint- 
 hearted that I had scarcely any desire to live ; and I was 
 sitting with my little daughter in my arms. She had cried 
 herself to sleep, cold and hungry, and, much as I loved her — 
 nay, idolized her — I confess that for an instant I harboured in 
 my soul the impious, the unnatural wish, that rather than see 
 my darling awake again to cold and hunger, she might sleep 
 her sweet young life away. For me to yield to such a thought 
 — to wish my child to wake no more ! I, who would have 
 given gladly the last drop of my life-blood to save her ! For 
 me to look upon her innocent little face with such a thought ! 
 I can hardly now believe that such a thing was possible, 
 even for a moment. But I was desperate, and bold, and 
 cowardly — all at the same time; or my heart was humiliated 
 by poverty, and my faith was rousing bitter thoughts in my 
 mind. 
 
 My husband was pacing the room. I knew too well all that 
 was passing in his mind, although we had long been silent. 
 At length I said to him, " Take courage, dear, for we are the 
 servants of the great God, and surely He will find a means of 
 escape for us. We were sent here ; we came because the 
 Lord wanted .us to come, and surely He will provide for us ! " 
 He turned to me in reply, and said kindly, " We can at 
 least have some water;" and he went for some water ; and then, 
 with as reverential feeling in his soul as ever inspired a grace 
 before dinner, he blessed it, and we drank. 
 
 We had scarcely done so when the mail-courier brought a 
 letter to our door. 
 
 Governor Stoudeman, with a feeling of delicacy, had hesi- 
 tated, when my husband visited him at Lausanne, to offer him 
 
54 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 any assistance ; but, he said in his letter, he had been " im- 
 pressed " to do so, and hoped that we should not be offended. 
 As the letter was opened, a piece of gold fell upon the table. 
 We could hardly believe that God had so soon answered our 
 prayers, and sent us relief ; and our emotions of gratitude for 
 this timely aid, found expression in tears. 
 
 All this time our landlady knew nothing of our distress ; 
 she was as ignorant of our situation as if she had never seen 
 us. So long as I was able to walk about, I used at regular 
 hours to go to the kitchen, get the cooking utensils, and go 
 through the routine of cooking, as if we had had a well-filled 
 larder all the time. I set the table with punctilious care, and 
 the good old widow never suspected but that we had plenty. 
 Thus supposing that we wanted nothing, she and her children 
 were more than ordinarily kind to us and to our little girl, 
 who was now old enough to toddle round and go from room to 
 room. Very often they would get her into their room at 
 meal-time, and give her little things to please her ; and while 
 they felt honoured in being permitted to do so, we were 
 silently thankful for our child's sake, for her sufferings were 
 more than we could endure. 
 
 The temporary aid from Lausanne was very welcome to us, 
 though it only served to make us feel more keenly our 
 dependent position. I might relate stories, alas, too true ! of 
 cold and want ; of days, and even almost an entire week, passed 
 at one time without food- — stories which for painful detail 
 would eclipse romance. It was a weary waiting for Provi- 
 dence ! Such things are better forgotten. And yet I feel 
 that in after years my temper was more subdued, and my 
 mind more patient under affliction, than it would have been 
 had I not experienced this preparatory discipline. 
 
 People who have heard, with a sneer, of Mormon mission- 
 aries and their work, would perhaps have realized that faith 
 may be sincere, although mistaken, if they could have seen us 
 at that time. The first teachers of a doctrine, whether it be 
 good or evil, if only it stems the current opinions of the hour, 
 have ever found that at the end of a rocky way there was 
 waiting for them a crown of thorns. 
 
 Many a time since then I have felt the weight of anxious 
 care in providing for my family ; the trial of our faith has not 
 been light, or seldom repeated ; but those days of trouble in 
 Switzerland were, I think, the darkest I ever experienced. 
 We realized literally the necessity of trusting to God's daily 
 mercies for our daily bread ; and the assurance that the Lord 
 
My Husband 's Mission. 55 
 
 would provide, was our only hope. To say that Ave practised 
 the strictest economy, would be to give but a faiut idea of the 
 way in which we had to consider and contrive in order to 
 exist at all. For years we kept the " Word of Wisdom " — 
 a " Revelation of Joseph Smith," which enjoined abstinence 
 from wine, coffee, tea, or, in fact, warm drinks of any kind ; 
 and trifling as such self-denial may at first appear, it was not 
 really so when other privations were added thereto. For 
 months at a time we existed — for I dare not say lived — 
 without what are considered, even by the poorest, the most 
 common necessaries. I can even recall to mind one trying 
 week in Switzerland, when, for the whole seven long days, we 
 had less than a pint of corn-flour to live upon, and that was 
 chiefly reserved for our poor child. 
 
 As I look back to those dark, painful times I feel that it 
 was by little short of a miracle that our lives were spared. 
 Our faith alone saved us. 
 
56 An Englislnvoman in Utah. 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 OUR MISSION IN SWITZERLAND — MUTTERINGS OF THE 
 COMING STORM. 
 
 Very soon after this we were notified that the Apostle Snow 
 was on his way to Switzerland, and that we might shortly 
 expect him. 
 
 This to me was joyful news, for he had relieved me of my 
 trouble ouce before, and I almost looked upon him as my 
 good angel. He came, and remained with us a few days; and 
 before he left he instructed Mr. Stenhouse to repair to Eng- 
 land, to raise funds to aid the mission. He also gave me a 
 few pounds to procure what I needed for an event which I 
 expected shortly to take place. This kindness on his part 
 bi ought to my mind such a sense of relief, and so renewed 
 my energy, that I felt ready for my missionary labours 
 again. 
 
 When my second child was about two months old I went 
 to Lausanne to reside, while my husband was absent in 
 England. Apartments were engaged for me at the house of 
 a gentleman who had recently been baptized. I was made 
 very comfortable there, and for the first time since my hus- 
 band was sent on a mission, I experienced a feeling of repose, 
 so that I now had some hopes of regaining mental and physical 
 strength. No provision had been made by the Saints for my 
 support ; but even without that, I thought, living among those 
 who were themselves happy, and one with us in the faith, I 
 should myself find more tranquillity of mind. 
 
 Madame and Monsieur Balif, in whose house I resided, were 
 persons of good social position. The husband was one of 
 nature's gentlemen, and as good a man as I ever knew. He 
 received the Mormonism taught by Mr. Stenhouse with all 
 his heart, and never seemed weary of showing his gratitude 
 by his good deeds. Madame Balif did not at once join the 
 church, and probably never would have done so but for the 
 love which she bore to her husband. She was not, however, 
 
Our Mission in Switzerland. 57 
 
 hostile to the new faith, as some other wives were, and she 
 did all that she could to render pleasant my stay with them, 
 and tried to make me forget what I had suffered in Geneva. 
 
 Madame Balif was a high-spirited, impulsive woman, and 
 devotedly attached to her husband ; I never saw a woman 
 more so. She impressed me as being one of the happiest of 
 wives ; he one of the best of husbands. After I had lived in 
 the house a few weeks, she was baptized ; but she never was 
 satisfied with Mormonism. Poor, dear lady ! How often 
 have I bitterly regretted that I was instrumental in leading 
 her into the Mormon Church, in which, as (years later, in 
 Utah) she told me, she endured such cruel humiliation and 
 martyrdom. I knew well indeed then what all that meant. 
 
 While I lived with them, it was agreed that I should pay 
 for my apartments monthly ; but after I had paid for the first 
 month, Monsieur Balif told me that I should do so no more. 
 And knowing thai he meant it as an expression of kindness 
 and gratitude on his part, I felt relieved of all anxiety on that 
 account. All that I had, even then, for the support of myself 
 and my two little ones was about five francs ($i) a week ; but 
 my wants were few, for I had taught myself to require nothing 
 but what was absolutely necessary to keep me alive. 
 
 During Mr. Stenhouse's absence, the meetings were held in 
 my parlour; and as the brethren who had joined the church 
 had not previously been religious men, though they were per- 
 sons of the best moral character, they were very diffident 
 about conducting the meetings, and for a time could not think 
 of praying before others. It devolved upon me — of sheer 
 necessity, for I disliked prominence as much as they did — 
 to lead the singing, to pray, to preach — in fact, to do every- 
 thing. Had I not done so, they would have sat looking at 
 each other, for they were all too timid to speak. I encouraged 
 them in every way to try, and finally we got along very well. 
 A "good spirit " prevailed; and we were like a little band of 
 brothers and sisters. 
 
 The only person, now, who gave me any anxiety was 
 Madame Balif, who was very weak in the faith. Her doubts 
 and fears troubled me much, for I had conceived a very great 
 regard for her. I feared that with a heart so proud and rebel- 
 lious as hers, she would never get salvation, and I trembled 
 for her happiness. How slight a hold the new faith had taken 
 of her mind, I was forcibly reminded by an incident which 
 was at the time a great trial to me. 
 
 My little daughter fell sick of intermittent fever, and ] 
 
5$ An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 dared not call in a physician ; it would not do for me, a mis- 
 sionary's wife, to show lack of faith. Such was our zeal in 
 those days. But now, as I once before stated, even the most 
 orthodox Mormons, including Brigham Young, do not think 
 of relying upon God and the ordinances of the church, as 
 they used to in former years, but call in the best physician 
 they can get. 
 
 I was much troubled about my little girl, for she was evi- 
 dently failing fast. She had been " administered to" by one 
 of the native elders, who had anointed her with oil, and prayed 
 over her; but yet she did not get better. Madame Balif, in 
 the midst of my affliction, taunted me about the child not re- 
 covering, and asked where was the power of God, of which I 
 had talked so much : " Now," she said " if you could get that 
 child healed, it would be some proof to my mind that the 
 power you speak of is still in the church." I felt ashamed 
 that I had not exercised more faith. I was certain that the 
 gift of healing was in the church, and I believed it was my 
 own fault that the child was not even now well. In my zeal 
 I replied rather warmly, " My child ivill be healed, and you 
 shall see it." But I had no sooner uttered these words than 
 I began to fear I had promised too much. 
 
 I determined, however, that nothing on my part should be 
 left undone. I sent for Governor Stoudeman, our new con- 
 vert, as he was the president of the branch and an elder. I 
 told him that this child must be healed by the power of God. 
 We had not witnessed any manifestation of the healing power 
 among the Saints in Switzerland up to that time ; and I 
 earnestly desired that now for the first time this gift might be 
 proved among us, for the sake of the church as well as for my 
 own. So I told the governor that it was his duty, as well as 
 mine, to fast and pray that the Lord might grant us this bless- 
 ing, that it might be a testimony that it was His work and that 
 we were His servants. 
 
 He became as enthusiastic as I was myself, and we fasted 
 and prayed for nearly two days. At the end of that time he 
 came to see me, and by the bedside we knelt and prayed; and 
 he laid his hands upon the child, and blessed her in the name 
 of the Lord. 
 
 That night the child was very low; and though I strove to 
 show my faith, I dreaded that she would have her usual at- 
 tack of fever about midnight. After the departure of the 
 elder, Madame Balif came into the room, and said, " Your 
 child is very ill ; if your God cannot help her, why do not you 
 
Our Mission in Szvitzerland. 59 
 
 send for a physician ? " This appeared to me so profane, and 
 such an insult to my God and my faith, that I replied indig- 
 nantly, " Madame, she will and shall be healed this very 
 night ; for I know that power is in the church. The reason 
 why the child was not healed before is, because I have not 
 been earnest enough in seeking the Lord." 
 
 When I was left alone I sat down by the bedside, trembling 
 lest I had been too rash in declaring that the child would be 
 healed that same night. Much and fondly as I loved my little 
 treasure, I confess that I suffered more at the thought of 
 God's name suffering reproach than I did from fear of my 
 darling's death ; and I tried earnestly to banish my doubts, 
 with the remembrance that all things are possible to them that 
 believe. 
 
 Kneeling there in the dark and lonesome midnight, I 
 poured out my soul fervently to God, beseeching Him, for 
 His kingdom's sake, and for the glory of His great name, to 
 answer, and not to suffer my unworthiness to stand in the 
 way. I watched hour after hour beside my darling's bed, 
 and the child slept on peacefully, without any symptoms of 
 returning fever ; and, oh ! how anxiously I waited for her 
 awaking. 
 
 At last, worn out with fatigue and watching, I laid myself 
 down on the bed beside her, and soon fell asleep ; and when I 
 awoke it was daylight, and my little one was peacefully sleep- 
 ing on still — the fever had left her. No tongue could tell the 
 gratitude which filled my heart ; I could only weep tears of 
 joy, and sing aloud my praise to God. 
 
 Madame Balif entered the room early in the morning to see 
 what kind of a night we had passed. Then I drew her to the 
 bedside, and told her how tranquilly the child had slept all 
 night, and showed her how much better she looked, and asked 
 her if she did not see in all this the providence of God. But 
 she simply said, "Ah, well ! I suppose the disease had run 
 its course." This grieved me, for I had trusted that such a 
 direct answer to my prayers would have helped to increase 
 her faith in our religion ; but Mormonism had not touched her 
 heart ; and I believe it is much more the devotion of the heart 
 than it is the mental acquiescence in doctrine which gives us 
 the power to hope, and endure, and believe. 
 
 When, by-and-by, my little Clara awoke, she was evidently 
 very much better, and not only free from the fever, but 
 bright and cheerful, like her former self ; and she never re- 
 lapsed. In the course of a week she was running about as 
 
60 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 well as ever, and the Saints were greatly confirmed in their 
 faith. 
 
 One morning, not long after this, Madame Balif Drought me 
 a letter which, as it bore the English post-mark, she supposed 
 came from my husband. The writing, however, was strange 
 to me ; and dreading that some terrible thing might have 
 happened, I tore it open. There, at the bottom of the last 
 page — for the letter was very long — in neat, clear characters, 
 was the signature of my fairy friend, as I called her, Mary 
 Burton. I read the letter through with the deepest interest. 
 It was addressed " To darling Sister Stenhouse," and was 
 overflowing with affection. Used as I was to all her endear- 
 ing ways, I could almost fancy that while I read I heard her 
 speaking the words. After a great outpouring of love, she 
 said, — 
 
 " Since you went, I have grown quite an old woman. You 
 used to call me ' Little fairy,' but, Sister Stenhouse, I am 
 much bigger now. I am now a good deal over seventeen, 
 and people say that I am getting to be quite a woman. I 
 might tell you some other pretty things that are said about 
 me, but I'm afraid you would say it was all vanity of vanities. 
 If you stay away much longer, you won't recognize me when 
 we meet again. 
 
 "And now I want to tell you something that interests you as 
 much as me. I have not been able to discover anything more 
 with certainty about those hateful things of which I told you, 
 although the word Polygamy seems to me to become every 
 day much more familiar in people's conversation. Elder 
 Shrewsbury tells me that there is not a word of truth in it ; 
 and he has had a good deal of conversation upon that subject 
 with the apostles who are here, and also with a man named 
 Curtis E. Bolton — an Elder from the Salt Lake ; and they all 
 positively declare that it ,is a foul slander upon the Saints 
 of the Most High. So you see that all our unhappiness was 
 for naught. Our Saviour said we should be blessed when all 
 men spoke evil of us falsely for His name's take ; and the 
 wicked scandal which has been raised against our religion has 
 had a tendency to strengthen my faith, which you know was 
 rather wavering. 
 
 " And yet do you know, Sister Stenhouse, that even while I 
 am writing to you in this strain, I am weak enough to allow 
 doubts and fears to creep into my heart when I think of the 
 conduct of some of the American brethren. 
 
 " They appear to me, for married men, to act so very impru- 
 
Our Mission in Switzerland. 61 
 
 dently j anil to call their conduct 'imprudent' is really 
 treating it with the greatest leniency, for I have often been 
 quite shocked at the way in which some of the brethren and 
 sisters acted. But I will tell you a little about it, and you 
 shall judge for yourself. 
 
 " When I found out, as I had long suspected, that dear papa 
 was going to marry again, I at once resolved that I would no 
 longer be a burden to him, but would find some employment, 
 and support myself. I was induced to do this, partly because as 
 you know, step-mothers and daughters do not always love each 
 other quite as much as they might. So I communicated my 
 wishes to papa, and told him that I had been introduced to a 
 very nice lady, who had a large dressmaking establishment 
 at the west end of London. She is a member of the Church, 
 and has always been very highly spoken of. I told him that 
 she employed a number of highly respectable young girls, and 
 that four, at least, of them were members of the Church, and 
 that, in consideration of my lonely situation, and at the earnest 
 request of Elder Shrewsbury, she was willing to take me into 
 her house, to board and lodge me, and teach me the business 
 thoroughly, if my father would pay her a premium of fifty pounds. 
 
 " This papa readily agreed to do, as I expected he would, 
 for he is so taken up with my step-mamma that is to be ; 
 and beside which he has, I know, been unfortunate lately in 
 some railway speculations, and has lost a great deal of money, 
 and therefore wishes to economize. In this way I went to 
 London, and became a member of Mrs. Elsworth's family — and 
 here I am still. 
 
 " Now you have been in London, Sister Stenhonse, and must 
 remember ' the office ' in Jewin Street — the head-quarters 
 where all the elders congregate, and where the American elders 
 board, and church business is managed. Well, the very first 
 week I was at Mrs. ElsAvorth's I noticed that the four young 
 sisters who were working there were constantly talking of 
 Jewin Street, and the dear American brethren who were stop- 
 ping there. One of them in particular was always talking 
 about dear Elder Snow ; and another girl whispered to me 
 that she went to Jewin Street every evening, and frequently 
 remained there to tea with him, and went afterwards to the 
 theatre with him, or to a meeting, as the case might be ; and 
 the young lady added, ' She does make such a fuss over him, 
 toying with him, and brushing and combing his hair. I know 
 that she does it, for I have been there with her, and have seen 
 her do it ; and he appears to enjoy it quite as much as she 
 
62 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 does ; and I believe, if Polygamy was true he would marry 
 her.' 
 
 " ' But,' I said, ' it is not true, and therefore it is very 
 wrong for her to act in that way, for be is a married 
 man.' 
 
 " ' Oh, but you know,' she answered, \ that we are all brothers 
 and sisters , and the brethren tell us that those little attentions 
 make them feel that they are not so far from home, and they 
 are thus enabled to perform their mission better ; and if that 
 is so, it is the duty of the young sisters to encourage them. 
 These little attentions cost nothing, and I'm sure it's quite a 
 pleasure to me.' 
 
 " ' Then you go to Jewiu Street ? ' I asked. 
 
 " ' Yes,' she said, ' sometimes, but not very often, for my 
 elder calls here frequently, as he is acquainted with Mrs. 
 Elsworth ; and then I take my work up into the parlour some- 
 times, and have a long talk with him. Mrs. Elsworth does 
 not like it, I know, but she does not care to oppose the elders ; 
 — in fact, her husband will not allow any such thing — he has 
 dared her to do so. After all, she is very silly, for we ought 
 to love each other and be free and friendly. My elder — I call 
 him my elder, you know, simply because I like him better than 
 the others — calls Mrs. Elsworth ' Gentilish,' and says she'll 
 get over it when she goes to Zion. But she says she won't. 
 She is awfully jealous of her husband and a certain Miss Caro- 
 line somebody, though she doesn't care for him.' 
 
 " ' But what difference can it make to him ? ' I asked her. 
 ' He has a wife, and ought not to pay attention to any other 
 woman.' 
 
 " ' Ah, you silly child,' she said, ' it is only brotherly love, 
 after all, and men often have wives who do not make them 
 happy, and that makes them seek the society of the young 
 sisters, for those who are far from home are lonely. My own 
 elder's wife is here in London, but he isn't much with her. He 
 spends nearly all his time in Jewin Street ; he is a travelling 
 Elder, and when he is going anywhere to preach he always 
 calls for me, as he does not like going alone, he is such a genial 
 soul. If Polygamy were true, I'd promise to marry him when 
 we reached the Valley.' 
 
 " Then I asked why his wife didn't go with him ; and she 
 said, ' Oh, poor man ! he has no pleasure in her society. She 
 is always moping and unhappy. You know, some women are 
 naturally so. I do all I can to make him feel well, for it must 
 be awful to be married to a woman who is always sad.' 
 
Our Mission in Switzerland. 63 
 
 " I asked her why his wife should he so unhappy ; and she 
 said, ' He tells me that she has got it into her head that 
 somehow or other Polygamy is practised in Zion ; and I'm 
 sure I, for one, wish it was so, for then we could marry who- 
 ever Ave pleased.' 
 
 " ' Oh, for shame ! ' I said. ' I'm sure I'd never go there, if I 
 thought so.' 
 
 " Then I asked her whether she did not think it was wrong 
 for her to encourage the attentions of her elder ; and she said, 
 ' He wishes it just as much as I do; and his wife had better 
 behave herself, or I'll marry him whether Polygamy exists or 
 not in Zion ; and he does not know, though we both suspect, 
 that there is something in the rumours which we have heard.' 
 Then I told her I thought it was very wicked to encourage 
 the visits of that man ; fori believe that if he paid a little more 
 attention to his wife she would be less unhappy — for I suppose 
 *he knew of his attentions to her. 
 
 " She said the wife knew nothing about it ; that he was 
 obliged to be out late at night, preaching, or at Jewin Street — 
 which I knew meant flirting with the sisters and going to the 
 theatre; and I fancy he does more of that than preaching. But 
 she seemed to think it was all the wife's fault, and blamed her. 
 I asked her if she would like to be treated so, if she Avere 
 an Elder's wife, and had to work as hard and endure as much 
 as all the Missionaries' Avives do. But she said she never 
 could be in such a position, and told me that I was not a good 
 Mormon or I would not set myself up as the accuser of the 
 brethren. But I ask you, Sister Stenhouse, if that is the 
 Mormonism which the elders used to teach us ? 
 
 " And noAV I have told you all our long talk together, and 
 so you can judge for yourself what a change has taken place 
 since you left. 
 
 " The same day, after dinner, Brother Snow called, in com- 
 pany with two other elders, to see Mrs. Elsworth, and to ask 
 her and the girls to a tea-party the next day. Mrs. ElsAvorth 
 declined ; but one young lady Avould go with Brother Snow, 
 and Miss Caroline went Avith another elder ; and my light- 
 hearted friend Avaited till her Elder came also to ask her. 
 After that, came Elder ShreAvsbury, and I, of course, was to 
 go with him. 
 
 "With all my faith, I am very much troubled about these 
 things. They are not right, I think. Why, scarcely a day 
 passes but some of these elders, Avho appear to have very little 
 to do, call here, and send for one or tAvo of these young sisters, 
 
64 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 and detain them from their woi'k, much to the annoyance of 
 poor Mrs. Elsworth, who, I believe, will apostatize over it 
 eventually. 
 
 " See what a long letter I have written to you ! I am 
 afraid it will tire you. I often long to have you here, that I 
 might come to you and tell you all my troubles. But perhaps 
 after all I am wrong, and ought to see things in a different 
 light. Have not the Elders and Apostles positively denied 
 that Polygamy or any other sin was practised in Utah, or 
 formed any part of the Mormon religion ? and we know that 
 these men of God would not deceive us. 
 
 " Be sure, dear, to write a nice long letter to me very soon ; 
 and, with fondest love, remember your own 
 
 "Mary Burton." 
 
 I read this letter carefully through, and I sat down and 
 thought of dear Mary Burton, and felt deeply sorry that 
 she should be placed in a situation surrounded by so many 
 temptations. To myself the letter brought a sad confirmation 
 of all my fears. There was something painful in the thought. 
 Had Polygamy been openly avowed as a Mormon doctrine, I 
 should never have joined the Church. But now, what could 
 I do? 
 
 After three months' absence, Mr. Stenhouse was to return 
 home, and I went to Geneva to meet him, feeling very happy 
 when I saw him once again. Numbers of persons, both in 
 Geneva and Lausanne had been converted while he was away, 
 and were waiting for him to baptize them — among them was 
 a retired Protestant minister, Monsieur Petitpierre, of whom 
 I have something yet to mention. We began at last to rejoice 
 in our success, and to be thankful that the Lord had answered 
 our prayers. 
 
 I was now more than ever anxious about Polygamy. From 
 much thinking on that subject, it had become the haunting 
 spectre of my existence, and I dreaded what every day might 
 bring forth. The news which my husband brought with him 
 by no means reassured me. He told me that he had heard 
 in England from the American Elders that there was a 
 general expectation among the Saints in Utah that at the 
 October Conference in Salt Lake City, Brigham Young would 
 publish to the world that Polygamy was a doctrine of the 
 Mormon Church. 
 
 After all the prevarications and denials then of the Apostles 
 and Elders, Polygamy among the Saints was really a fact. 
 
Our Mission in Switzerland. 65 
 
 As the truth became clearer to my mind, I thought I should 
 lose my senses. The very foundations of my faith were 
 shaken, and not only did I feel a personal repugnance to the 
 unholy doctrine, but I began to realize that the men to whom 
 I had listened with such profound respect, and had regarded 
 as the representatives of God, had been guilty of the most 
 deliberate and unblushing falsehood ; and I began to ask 
 myself whether, if they could do this in order to carry out 
 their purpose in one particular, they might not be guilty of 
 deception upon other points ? Who could I trust now ? For 
 ten years the Mormon Prophets and Apostles had been living 
 in Polygamy at home, while abroad they vehemently denied 
 it, and spoke of it as a deadly sin. This was a painful awaken- 
 ing to me ; we had all of us been betrayed. I lost confidence 
 in man, and almost began to question within myself whether 
 I could even trust in God. 
 
 There was no argument between Mr. Stenhouse and myself. 
 It would have been worse than useless, for it was not his doing, 
 and he assured me that he had as great a repugnance to the 
 doctrine as I had. He had at first only hinted that it might 
 eventually be acknowledged by the leaders of the Church ; but 
 it was a matter of too deeply a personal character forme to 
 keep silence, and I did not rest until he had told me all. He 
 had not seen the revelation, but the information which he had 
 received was beyond a question ; and singularly enough Elder 
 Margetts, the London Elder of whose flirtation in Southamp- 
 ton I have already spoken, was at that time on a visit to Switzer- 
 lnnd, and confirmed all that my husband had said. Thus the 
 very man who, two years before, first excited my suspicions, 
 now confirmed my fears, and openly stated as a fact that which 
 he then was ashamed almost to suggest. 
 
 Elder Margetts had been in Utah from the time I saw him 
 in England, and was now on a mission to Italy. He knew, 
 therefore, very well what was said and done among the Saints 
 in /ion. I, and those like me, whose faith was not too strong, 
 were spoken of as " babes " to whom milk only must be given ; 
 and in this way any deception necessary to quiet our tender 
 consciences was allowable; but Elder Margetts was one of 
 the " strong men," to whom meat was necessary — in other 
 words, they were initiated into all the mysteries of the 
 faith. 
 
 My husband enjoined me not to speak of what I had heard, 
 and I felt very little inclination to do so — my heart was too 
 full. The pleasant dreams and hopes of life were ended now 
 
 v 
 
66 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 to me. What could I look forward too ? Henceforth the stern 
 realities of a lonely and weary existence were all the future 
 that should be mine. 
 
 Still, the " Revelation " sanctioning a change in the doctrines 
 and practice of the church, was not yet published ; and until 
 polygamy was openly avowed I felt that the doom of my hap- 
 piness was not yet sealed; and like many another heart-broken 
 woman, I hoped against hope. 
 
6/ 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 THE REVELATION ON " CELESTIAL MARRIAGE." 
 
 And time flew by ; and at length the dreaded Revelation 
 came. 
 
 One very pleasant morning, early in January, 1853, two 
 Elders of the Italian Mission, Jabez Woodward and Thomas 
 Margetts, took breakfast with us ; and with them also was 
 Mons. Petitpierre from Geneva, the Protestant minister of whom 
 I have already spoken. While I was busy preparing the meal, 
 Mr Stenhouse and the two English elders went to the post 
 office to get their letters, for at that time they were expecting 
 important news. When they returned, breakfast was quite 
 ready, and they took their seats at the table. I asked if there 
 were any letters from England ; and my husband said, " No, 
 no letters; but there is a Star, and it contains the Revelation 
 on Polygamy." 
 
 He handed me a copy of the Millennial Star, a Mormon 
 paper published in Liverpool ; and as I took it, I felt as if I 
 were receiving my death-warrant. It was indeed the death- 
 warrant to all my hopes of happiness. I rose from the table, 
 asking them to excuse me ; and overcome with agitation and 
 conflicting emotions, I retired to my own chamber. There, for 
 the first time, I read that document which has since brought 
 such sorrow and misery to so many wronged and heart-broken 
 women. The reader may perhaps like to see the only founda- 
 tion and authority for the practice of polygamy ever produced 
 by the Mormon leaders. So I copy exactly from the Millen- 
 nial Star what I then read, leaving out only a few lines here 
 and there, which had no special reference to the subject, but 
 helped to swell the size of the " Revelation : " — 
 
 CELESTIAL MARRIAGE : 
 
 A REVELATION ON THE PATRIARCHAL ORDER OF MATRIMONY, 
 OR PLURALITY OF WIVES. 
 
 Given to Joseph Smith, the Seer, in Nauvoo, July 12th, 1843. 
 
 1. Verily, thus saith the Lord, unto you, my servant Joseph, 
 that inasmuch as you have inquired of my hand, to know and 
 
 f 2 
 
68 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 understand wherein I, the Lord, justified my servants, Abra- 
 ham, Isaac, and Jacob ; as also Moses, David, and Solomon, 
 my servants, as touching the principle and doctrine of their 
 having many wives and concubines : Behold ! and lo, I am the 
 Lord thy God, and will answer thee as touching this matter : 
 Therefore prepare thy heart to receive and obey the instruc- 
 tions which I am about to give unto you ; for all those who 
 have this law revealed unto them must obey the same ; for 
 behold ! I reveal unto you a new and everlasting covenant, and 
 if ye abide not that covenant, then are ye damned ; for no one 
 can reject this covenant, and be permitted to enter into my 
 glory ; for all who will have a blessing at my bands shall abide 
 the law which is appointed for that blessing and tbe conditions 
 thereof, as was instituted from before the foundations of the 
 world : and as pertaining to the new and everlasting covenant, 
 it was instituted for the fulness of my glory ; and he tbat 
 receiveth a fulness tbereof, must and shall abide the law, or 
 he shall be damned, saith the Lord God. 
 
 2. And verily I say unto you, that the conditions of this law 
 are these : All covenants, contracts, bonds, obligations, oaths, 
 vows, performances, connexions, associations, or expectations, 
 that are not made or entered into, and sealed, by the Holy 
 Spirit of promise, of him who is anointed both as well for 
 time and for all eternity, and that too most holy, by revelation 
 and commandment, through the medium of mine anointed, 
 whom I have appointed on the earth to hold this power (and 
 I have appointed unto my servant Joseph to hold this power 
 in the last days ; and there is never but one on the earth at 
 a time on whom this power and the keys of the priesthood 
 are conferred), are of no efficacy, virtue, or force, in and after 
 the resurrection from the dead : for all contracts that are not 
 made unto this end, have an end when men are dead. 
 
 4. Therefore, if a man marry him a wife in the world, and 
 he marry her not by me, nor by my word ; and he covenant 
 with her so long as he is in the world, and she with him, 
 their covenant and marriage is not of force when they are 
 dead, and when they are out of the world ; therefore they are 
 not bound by any law when they are out of the world ; there- 
 fore, when they are out of the world, they neither marry, nor 
 are given in marriage, but are appointed angels in heaven, 
 which angels are ministering servants, to minister for those who 
 are worthy of a far more, and an exceeding, and an eternal 
 weight of glory ; for these angels did not abide my law, there- 
 
The Revelation on " Celestial Marriage." 69 
 
 fore they cannot be enlarged, but remain separately and singly, 
 without exaltation, in their saved condition, to all eternity, and ' 
 from henceforth are not gods, but are angels of God for ever 
 and ever. 
 
 5. And again, verily I say unto you, if a man marry a wife, 
 and make a covenant with her for time, and for all eternity, 
 if that covenant is not by me, or by my word, which is my law, 
 and is not sealed by the Holy Spirit of promise, through him 
 whom 1 have anointed and appointed unto this power, then it 
 is not valid, neither of force, when they are out of the world, 
 because they are not joined by me, saith the Lord, neither by 
 my word ; when they are out of the world, it cannot be re- 
 ceived there, because the angels and the gods are appointed 
 there, by whom they cannot pass ; they cannot, therefore, 
 inherit my glory, for my house is a house of order, saith the 
 Lord God. 
 
 6. And again, verily I say unto you, if a man marry a wife 
 by my word, which is my law, and by the new and everlasting 
 covenant, and it is sealed unto them by the Holy Spirit of 
 promise, by him who is anointed, unto whom I have appointed 
 this power, and the keys of this priesthood, and it shall be said 
 unto them, Ye shall come forth in the first resurrection ; and 
 if it be after the first resurrection, in the next resurrection ; 
 and shall inherit thrones, kingdoms, principalities, and powers, 
 dominions, all heights and depths — then shall it be written in 
 the Lamb's Book of Life, that he shall commit no murder 
 whereby to shed innocent blood ; and if ye abide in my covenant 
 and commit no murder whereby to shed innocent blood, it shall 
 be done unto them in all things whatsoever my servant hath 
 put upon them, in time, and through all eternity, and shall be of 
 full force when they are out of the world ; and they shall pass 
 by the angels, and the gods, which are set there, to their exal- 
 tation and glory in all things, as hath been sealed upon their 
 heads, which glory shall be a fulness and a continuation of the 
 seeds for ever and ever. 
 
 7. Then shall they be gods, because they have no end ; 
 therefore shall they be from everlasting to everlasting, because 
 they continue ; then shall they be above all, because all things 
 are subject unto them. Then shall they be gods, because 
 they have all power, and the angels are subject unto them. 
 
 9. Verily, verily I say unto you, if a man marry a wife ac- 
 cording to my word, and they are sealed by the Holy Spirit 
 of promise, according to mine appointment, and he or she shall 
 
yo An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 commit any sin or transgression of the new and everlasting 
 covenant whatever, and all manner of blasphemies, and if they 
 commit no murder, wherein they shed innocent Mood — yet they 
 shall come forth in the first resurrection, and enter into their 
 exaltation, but they shall he destroyed in the flesh, and shall be 
 delivered unto the bufferings of Satan, unto the day of re- 
 demption, saith the Lord God. 
 
 10. The blasphemy against the Holy Ghost, which shall not 
 be forgiven in this world, nor out of the world, is in that ye 
 commit murder, wherein ye shed innocent blood, and assent 
 unto my death, after ye have received my new and everlasting 
 covenant, saith the Lord God ; and he that abideth not this 
 law can in no wise enter into my glory, but shall be damned, 
 
 saith the Lord. 
 
 ******* 
 
 13. God commanded Abraham, and Sarah gave Hagar to 
 Abraham, to wife. And why did she do it ? Because this 
 was the law. And from Hagar sprang many people. This, 
 therefore, was fulfilling, among other things, the promises. 
 Was Abraham, therefore, under condemnation ? Verily, I 
 say unto you, Nay ; for I, the Lord, commanded it. Abraham 
 was commanded to offer his son Isaac ; nevertheless, it was 
 written, Thou shalt not kill. Abraham, however, did not 
 refuse, and it was accounted to him for righteousness. 
 
 14. Abraham received concubines, and they bare him chil- 
 dren, and it was accounted unto him for righteousness, because 
 they were given unto him, and he abode in my law. As Isaac 
 also and Jacob did none other things than that which they 
 were commanded, they have entered into their exaltation, ac- 
 cording to the promises, and sit upon thrones ; and are not 
 angels, but are gods. David also received many wives and 
 concubines, as also Solomon, and Moses my servant ; as also 
 many others of my servants, from the beginning of the creation 
 until this time ; and in nothing did they sin, save in those 
 things which they received not of me. 
 
 15. David's wives and concubines were given unto him of 
 me, by the hand of Nathan, my servant, and others of the 
 prophets who had the keys of this power ; and in none of these 
 things did he sin against me, save in the case of Uriah and his 
 wife ; and therefore, he hath fallen from his exaltation, and 
 received his portion ; and he shall not inherit them out of the 
 world ; for I gave them unto another, saith the Lord. 
 
 16. I am the Lord thy God, and I gave unto thee, my ser- 
 vant Joseph, an appointment, and restore all things. 
 
The Revelation on " Celestial Marriage." J i 
 
 I have conferred upon you the keys and power of the priest- 
 hood, Avherein I restore all things, and make known unto you 
 all things, in due time. 
 
 17. And verily, verily I say unto you, that whosoever you 
 seal on earth shall be sealed in heaven ; and whatsoever you 
 bind on earth, in my name, and by my word, saith the Lord, 
 if shall be eternally bound in the heavens ; and whosoever sins 
 you remit on earth shall be remitted eternally in the heavens ; 
 and whosesoever sins you retain on earth shall be retained in 
 heaven. 
 
 18. And again, verily I say, whomsoever you bless I will 
 bless, and whomsoever you curse I will curse, saith the Lord ; 
 for I, the Lord, am thy God. 
 
 19. And again, verily I say unto you, my servant Joseph, 
 that whatsoever you give on earth, and to whomsoever you give 
 any one on earth, by my word, and according to my law, it 
 shall be visited with blessings. 
 
 Jfc A Jfc Jfa Jfc Jfc jfc 
 
 20. Verily I say unto you, a commandment I give unto mine 
 handmaid Emma Smith, your wife . . let mine handmaid 
 Emma Smith receive all those that have been given unto my 
 servant Joseph, and who are virtuous and pure before me ; 
 and those who are not pure, and have said they were pure, 
 shall be destroyed, saith the Lord God ! . . I give unto 
 my servant Joseph, that he shall be made ruler over many 
 things, for he hath been faithful over a few things, and from 
 henceforth I will strengthen him. 
 
 21. And I command mine handmaid Emma Smith to abide 
 and cleave unto my servant Joseph, and to none else. But if 
 she will not abide this commandment, she shall be destroyed, 
 saith the Lord ; for I am the Lord thy God, and will destroy 
 her if she abide not in my law ; but if she will not abide this 
 commandment, then shall my servant Joseph do all things for 
 her, even as he hath said ; and I will bless him, and multiply 
 him, and give unto him a hundredfold in this world, of fathers 
 and mothers, brothers and sisters, houses and lands, wives and 
 children, and crowns of eternal lives in the eternal .worlds. 
 And again, verily I say, let mine handmaid forgive my servant 
 Joseph his trespasses, and then shall she be forgiven her tres- 
 passes, wherein she has trespassed against me ; and I, the 
 Lord thy God, will bless her, aud multiply her, and make her 
 heart to rejoice. 
 
 24. And again, as pertaining to the law of the priesthood : 
 
72 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 If any man espouse a virgin, and desire to espouse another, 
 and the first give her consent ; and if he espouse the second, 
 and they are virgins, and have vowed to no other man, then 
 is he justified. He cannot commit adultery, for they are given 
 him ; for he cannot commit adultery with that that belongeth 
 unto him, and to none else ; and if he have ten virgins given 
 unto him by this law, he cannot commit adultery, for they 
 belong to him ; and they are given unto him — therefore is he 
 justified. But if one or other of the ten virgins, after she is 
 espoused, shall be with another man, she has committed adul- 
 tery, and shall be destroyed ; for they are given unto him to 
 multiply and replenish the earth, according to my command- 
 ment, and to fulfil the promise which was given by my Father 
 before the foundation of the world ; and for their exaltation in 
 the eternal worlds, that they may bear the souls of men ; for 
 herein is the work of my Father continued, that he may be 
 glorified. 
 
 25. And again, verily, verily I say unto you, if any man 
 has a wife who holds the keys of this power, and he teaches 
 unto her the law of my priesthood, as pertaining to these 
 things, then shall she believe and administer unto him, or she 
 shall be destroyed, saith the Lord your God ; for I will destroy 
 her ; for I will magnify my name upon all those who receive 
 and abide in my law. Therefore it shall be lawful in me, if 
 she receive not this law, for him to receive all things whatso- 
 ever T, the Lord his God, will give unto him, because she did 
 not believe and administer unto him, according to my word ; 
 and she then becomes the transgressor, and he is exempt from 
 the law of Sarah, who administered unto Abraham according 
 to the law, when I commanded Abraham to take Hagar to 
 wife. And now, as pertaining to this law : Verily, verily I 
 say unto you, I will reveal more unto you hereafter ; there- 
 fore, let this suffice for the'present. Behold, I am Alpha and 
 
 Omega. Amen. 
 
 # * # # * * 
 
 And this was the Revelation ! — this mass of confusion, 
 cunning absurdity, and falsehood. This was the celebrated 
 document which was henceforth to be law to the confiding men 
 and women who had embraced Mormouism ! Looking at it 
 now — noting its inconsistencies and its flagrant outrage upon 
 common decency and morality, I can hardly credit that I should 
 ever have been such a silly dupe as to give it a second thought. 
 And yet, what could I do ? I was bound hand and foot, as it 
 were, and my very vision itself was distorted. Unquestioning 
 
The Revelation on " Celestial Marriage"' 73 
 
 obedience, we had been taught, was the highest virtue ; rebel- 
 lion was as the sin of witchcraft. I had been convinced of 
 the truth of some of the tenets of the Mormon faith ; and con- 
 fident in them, I accepted without question all the rest. Never, 
 till the possibility that polygamy might some day be acknow- 
 ledged by the Church, began to be whispered among the 
 Saints — never did a solitary doubt respecting my religion in- 
 trude itself upon my mind ; and after my apprehensions were 
 fairly aroused by those rumours, whenever I felt the faintest 
 shadow of unbelief or suspicion arising in my heart, I banished 
 it as an unholy thing. The time had not yet come when I 
 could judge dispassionately : the Revelation aroused within 
 me feelings of horror and dismay, but I did not dare to ques- 
 tion its authenticity. It brought bitterness to my soul, but I 
 believed it was from God, and that I must learn to bear the 
 cross patiently. 
 
 I did not at that time read the document through from 
 beginning to end. No ; my indignation was such that before 
 I had read half of it I threw it from me in anger. Perhaps if 
 I had read it all, and considered it carefully, my own judg- 
 ment and my sense of right and wrong might have pointed 
 out its absurdity and wickedness. But I was far from being 
 tranquil enough to think calmly. I felt bitterly that this new 
 doctrine was a degradation to woman, and I wondered why God 
 should see fit to humiliate my sex in this way. I was willing 
 to devote myself, my life, my all to His service, but wherefore 
 should He doom me to everlasting sorrow ? 
 
 What now was to be a woman's lot among the Mormons ? 
 A life without hope ! Who can express the terrible meaning 
 of those words — without hope ? Yet so it was. Hereafter 
 our hearts were to be daily and hourly trampled upon ; the 
 most sacred feelings of our sex were to be outraged, our affec- 
 tions were to be crushed. Henceforth we were to be nothing 
 by ourselves ; without a husband, we were told, we could not 
 even enter heaven ! But had our trials been limited to this 
 life we might have borne them, as many a weary soul has 
 done, waiting for the relief of death. But death was to bring 
 no hope to us ; we were told that in the other world polygamy 
 should be the only order of marriage, and that without it none 
 could be exalted in glory. We were told these things by men 
 who we believed were true and holy men of God ; and we 
 trusted in them. 
 
 Rebellious I felt, indeed, as I paced the room after I had 
 thrown the Revelation on the ground : I almost felt as if I 
 
74 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 should lose my reason. A woman in the time of trouble 
 always looks to some one in whom she can coufide ; but to 
 whom could I turn for one kind or cheering word ? who would 
 comfort me ? I had neither relation nor friend to whom I 
 could speak of this trial ; there was no one who could under- 
 stand me. I could not turn to my husband in this sorrow, and 
 I dared not even kneel to my God to implore His aid. It was 
 He, they said, who had declar-ed this Revelation was His will ; 
 how then could I turn to Him ? No ; my heart sank within 
 me ; henceforth there was to be no hope, no peace, for me ! 
 
 There was a knock at my chamber door, and my husband 
 came in. He knew how acutely I must feel, and he came to 
 comfort me. I was almost choked with emotion and tears, 
 but he threw his arms round me tenderly, and spoke to me as 
 if I had been a child that needed consolation. He tried to 
 persuade me that God as a loving Father could never have 
 intended the pain or misery of His children, and that when 
 we came to understand the doctrine better, we should find that 
 all would be well. He spoke also of his own unchanging 
 attachment; and appealed to me whether I thought he could 
 ever love me less, or place his affections on another. 
 
 I tried to believe, and when I felt a little better I went with 
 him to the breakfast-room, where the others were waiting for 
 us. 
 
 We were not a very entertaining party that morning. The 
 Elders present of course knew what had kept me in my room, 
 and their attempt at cheerfulness was not very successful. 
 My husband was in sympathy with me, and I have no doubt 
 that I looked sad enough. There was only one person pre- 
 sent who did not appreciate the situation — Monsieur Petit- 
 pierre, the Protestant minister — and they handed the Revela- 
 tion to him. Mr. Stenhouse and the other Elders had some 
 misgivings as to how he would receive it, and they were 
 afraid it might disgust him with Mormonism. But the old 
 gentlemau stood the test bravely; and I saw then, as I have 
 seen since, that men can be easily satisfied that the Revelation 
 on Polygamy, or any other revelation, is divine, if they desire, 
 it to be so. 
 
 Here was old Monsieur Petitpierre, a man of more than 
 threescore years, and childless. To him the example of 
 Abraham and Solomon appeared most instructive — an example 
 which might be followed with advantage. His w^fe, like 
 Sarah of old, had never been called by a mother's name ; and 
 now, although thus far he had no idea who might act the part 
 
The Revelation on " Celestial Marriage." 75 
 
 of a second Hagar, there seemed a fair chance that a little 
 Ishinael might perpetuate the race of Petitpierres on earth, if 
 only the Revelation was acted upon by the faithful. 
 
 " It ought to be prayerfully thought of," he said. 
 
 Prayerfully thought of ! Poor, silly old man ! Before then 
 I had respect for his years and learning ; but now — what 
 could I think of a man who talked such nonsense ? Had the 
 Revelation told him that the wife of his youth, now tottering 
 in step, and with hair silvered by age, was commanded to take 
 two or a dozen young husbands — I wondered whether he 
 would have added with such satisfaction " It ought to be 
 prayerfully thought of ! " 
 
 From that day I learned to regard polygamy as an essential 
 part of the Mormon faith, and such for many years the world 
 has considered it ; but when I first joined the church, such an 
 innovation would have appeared to the European Saints 
 beyoud the wildest fancies of a dream. 
 
 V 
 
j6 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 MISSIONARY WORK — TEACHING POLYGAMY. 
 
 I NOW entered upon a new phase of my missionary life ; the 
 Elders assured me that it was my duty to teach polygamy to 
 the women of Switzerland. 
 
 Hitherto, although I had suffered much from poverty and 
 privation, my work as a missionary had been very pleasant. 
 I believed with my whole heart all that I taught, and my best 
 wishes for the people around me were that they might become 
 altogether such as I was, except in my sufferings. 
 
 Now, however, all this was changed. It was no longer sal- 
 vation through faith in Christ, or repentance, or baptism ; it 
 was no longer love and peace for this world, and the promise 
 of everlasting joy in the world to come, that I was called upon 
 to teach. My task hitherto had been a labour of love ; now 
 it was to be a weary work of pain. How could I teach the 
 sisters, the affection of whose guileless hearts I had won to 
 myself — how could I teach them that which my own heart 
 abhorred, a doctrine which I hated Avith my whole soul ! 
 
 How I strove against my rebellious nature ! how I battled 
 with myself! That God had sent the Revelation I never 
 questioned, and all rebellion to His will I knew must be 
 sinful. 1 had no thought of evading the responsibility ; my 
 heart must be subdued. It might be subdued ; it might be 
 crushed and broken; but I could never again, I felt, be 
 truly happy. I tried to reason with myself, and to persuade 
 myself that it was I who was to blame and not the Kevelation. 
 If the Lord required me to submit, it must be for some good 
 purpose; and I must not refuse the cross that He called upon 
 me to bear. Sometimes for a few moments something would 
 attract my attention and divert my thoughts ; but the terrible 
 reality — polygamy, refused to be ignored, and I felt all 
 the more bitterly afterwards. I never was happy, for 
 life had lost its charm to me. Ere I slept at night one 
 dreadful thought was haunting my pillow — it disturbed my 
 very dreams; and when I awoke in the morning, it was with 
 
Missionary Work. 'jj 
 
 a feverish apprehension of coming evil hanging over me. All 
 through the long, weary day it haunted my footsteps like a 
 spectre; and like a fearful blight that had fallen upon me, it 
 seemed to be withering my soul. One thought was ever 
 present in my mind — that thought, polygamy ! 
 
 It can be no wonder that I lost all interest in life, and that 
 I should almost wish to die rather than live that life of degra- 
 dation which I dreaded would be mine. But death flies from 
 those who woo her ; the wretched, the weary, the hopeless, 
 they find her not. I felt that there was no rest for me. My 
 only comfort was in my children ; qo revelation, I felt, could 
 change their relationship to me. But over my little daughter 
 Clara I mourned, for I thought if this revelation were acted 
 upou by the Saints, as doubtless it would be, she would some 
 day be called upon to suffer as I did. How little did I then, 
 however, anticipate in what way my fears would be realized ! 
 My Clara became the daughter-in-law of Brigham Young, 
 having married his eldest son, Joseph A. Young. 
 
 I am afraid at that time I was somewhat of a trial to my 
 husband, for my heart was not yet quite subdued. I grew 
 impatient at the wrong which I felt had been done to me, and 
 I often said bitter things against the Prophet of the Lord and 
 all his sex, including my husband, who was then, and for years 
 after, a devoted Mormon, and was quite horrified at what I 
 said. He often told me that I was a great hindrance to him, 
 and that it was impossible for any one who lived with me to 
 enjoy the Spirit of God — and I was afraid that he only spoke 
 the truth. 
 
 Then I repented, and sought to chasten myself ; and I 
 fasted and prayed, and asked forgiveness of God and my hus- 
 band. But even when most subdued I was as unhappy as 
 ever, and some one was sure to say something which reminded 
 me of my trouble; and whenever the elders came to the house 
 they were sure to discuss the one painful topic. Then my 
 indignant feelings all came back again, and I felt the spirit 
 of rebellion stirring within me. I could not help it, for 
 I felt that woman's nature itself was insulted by the degrad- 
 ing doctrine, and any mention of it excited my anger. 
 
 My husband and the Elders had anticipated that I would 
 not readily submit, and they bore with me as patiently as they 
 could, losing no opportunity of strengthening me in the faith, 
 ever keeping before me the obligation that rested upon me in 
 particular to explain the doctrine to the Swiss sisters. They 
 knew very well that nothing tends more to confirm the faith. 
 
78 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 of the wavering than setting them to teach others. Brigham 
 Young has always acted on this principle, and whenever 
 any of the brethren have evinced signs of doubt or disaffec- 
 tion they have been at once despatched on a mission. Their 
 efforts to convert others established their own faith. 
 
 Among the Swiss we had never spoken on polygamy or 
 any kindred subject, and we were therefore spared the 
 humiliation which the British Elders experienced in having 
 to retract their own teachings. Nevertheless, Mr. Sten- 
 house and the other Elders felt great anxiety as to how the 
 new doctrine would be received. My husband did not at 
 once openly tell them that such a Revelation had been sent 
 from Zion ; but whenever an opportunity presented he took 
 them aside singly, and spoke to them about the ancient patriarchs 
 who practised polygamy ; and so great was his influence 
 with the converts that he soon won them over to the new 
 teaching, and made them feel that they would not be justi- 
 fied in rejecting the Revelation. Many of the Swiss Saints 
 before their conversion had been more Socialists than Chris- 
 tians, and they probably thought that this change in the 
 marriage institution was a sign of advancing intellectual 
 supremacy ; but their wives were very far from sharing these 
 opinions with them. 
 
 After many days and nights of prayer and fasting I prepared 
 myself for my work. To a certain extent I had brought my 
 own self under control — or I thought I had; and I almost felt 
 anxious to begin, so that I might get over the painful scenes 
 which I fully anticipated. It was agreed that Madame Balif, 
 of whom I have already spoken as being rather sceptical when 
 my child recovered from her critical condition, should be the 
 first to whom the intelligence should be imparted, for it was 
 thought that if she accepted ths Revelation without much 
 difficulty, the other sisters would be more easily won over. 
 She was a well educated and intelligent woman, and had seen 
 a good deal of the world. She had met her husband while 
 travelling in Russia, had married him, and they had returned 
 to their native land. She was in every respect a lady, but 
 she was a spoilt child, and had her whims ; and she possessed 
 a great influence over the minds of the other sisters. On this 
 account it was that she was selected as the victim to whom 
 should be first imparted the mysteries of the Revelation, for 
 it was thought that whatever reception she might give to 
 polygamy, her views would greatly influence the conduct of 
 the rest. 
 
Missionary Work. 79 
 
 As I before mentioned, Madame Balif and her husband 
 were models of affection to one another, and it seemed to me 
 quite a sin that I should introduce into such a household a 
 doctrine which could only produce disunion and misery. I 
 had, however, schooled my heart to what I thought was my 
 duty, and I strove to smother the rebellion rising within me. 
 But, after all, it seemed to me hardly fair that I should be 
 selected for this painful task. These husbands had not 
 courage enough, or were ashamed, to tell their own wives 
 about this wonderful Revelation ; and so I, a weak woman, 
 hating in my heart the doctrine as much as a woman could 
 hate — I was chosen to introduce this pleasant subject, and to 
 persuade those I loved to their own ruin. I had had it all fully 
 explained to me, and I thoroughly understood the beauties of 
 the system in the sight of the elders, and what they considered 
 the strong points in the Revelation ; — but it is miserable work 
 to try to convince others of a thing that you yourself detest. 
 
 One day, quite unexpectedly to hex*, they had told Madame 
 Balif that a new Revelation had been sent from Zion, and 
 that I would explain it to her ; then Monsieur Balif left the 
 house, and remained absent until the wife whom he so de- 
 votedly loved should have heard this new thing. 
 
 Madame Balif came down stairs siDging, in her usual gay 
 spirits, little expecting what she was going to hear ; and 
 when she came to me I felt so unfitted for my task that I 
 dared not look her straight in the face, although she was my 
 dearest frieud, and I had such an affection for her. I stood 
 there, pale and trembling, and she thought that I was not 
 well. I was not indeed well ; I was sick at heart. Never 
 before had the face of a friend been so unwelcome. 
 
 She asked me what it was that I had to tell her ; and when 
 I hesitatingly denied having wanted to speak to her at all, she 
 said she knew there must be something, as her husband had 
 told her so. 
 
 I hesitated still ; but at last found courage, and told her all. 
 It was a cruel task to impose upon me. Day after day I had 
 observed her and her husband, I had noticed their deep affec- 
 tion ; had seen her watching at the window for his return ; 
 and he would come with a little offering of choice fruit or 
 flowers ; and I thought no woman could be happier than 
 Madame Balif. And now for me to so cruelly awaken them 
 from their dream of bliss ! 
 
 She sat and listened eagerly as I told my story ; and when 
 at length she began to understand what was meant by it, she 
 
80 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 thought that I must be playing some unseasonable joke upon 
 her, and showed as much in her countenance. But when she 
 saw that I really was in earnest, she sprang up, and cried out, 
 " Oh, my God ! what a beastly religion ! How dared your 
 husband and you come to us Swiss with such a religion as 
 that ? " My eyes sank before her as she turned on me with 
 mingled rage and disgust, as if she would wither me with her 
 contemptuous looks. I felt as humbled as if I myself had 
 been the author of the Revelation. 
 
 "And does my Serge believe this?" she cried. 
 
 I assured her that he did believe it, and she paced the room, 
 to and fro, as if she would go crazy; my heart ached for her. 
 She gave way to a perfect storm of rage, and then sobbed and 
 cried like a child who had lost its mother. I was silent, for I 
 knew how she must feel, and I felt that she would be relieved 
 by tears. I had gone through the trial all alone, without one 
 word from a woman's heart that could reach my own. And I 
 tried to comfort her. I remembered how I had felt myself, 
 and I believed that thus it was now with her. In an instant, 
 when I first realized that polygamy had anything to do with 
 me, just as I have heard it said of dying men, all my past life 
 rushed to my remembrance, and every word or deed of love 
 therein, stood out in brightest reality. Thus I doubted not it 
 was with my friend. Every tender word which her husband 
 had ever uttered; every loving deed he had ever done, came 
 to her recollection with a ten-fold dearness as she realized the 
 horrors which awaited her in the future. 
 
 How little did we either of us imagine the story she would 
 afterwards tell me in Utah ! 
 
 I tried to soothe her, and she threw her arms passionately 
 round me, and pressed me to her throbbing heart, and wept 
 again. She thought of her husband and her little girls. But 
 with all her fears she drdamed not how miserable was the life 
 before her in poverty and polygamy. She was herself hand- 
 some in form and fair in feature; and, in the full enjoyment of 
 all that could be desired in her sphere of life, she was as happy 
 as a youthful wife could be. She pictured to herself a time — 
 not now, her Serge loved her too truly noiv — when her hus- 
 band might cast his eyes upon some blooming damsel, younger 
 than she was then, and might begin to take a nearer interest 
 in polygamy. She pictured him bestowing on the youthful 
 beauty the love and tenderness which he had always bestowed 
 on her; how his affections would die out towards her ; how 
 her heart would be desolate and alone ! 
 
Missionary Work. 81 
 
 I took her hand in mine and spoke very gently to her ; and 
 when she was calmer, I talked to her more freely. We found 
 now, as we tried to look our common enemy in the face, how 
 strong a hold Mormonism had taken of us; and it is in this 
 that persons unacquainted with the Saints have so greatly mis- 
 judged the women of Utah; they know how small a hold such 
 a religion — now they look upon Mormonism and polygamy as 
 identical — would have upon them; and they forget how all- 
 absorbing was our faith in Mormonism without polygamy. We 
 confided not wisely, but too well. 
 
 Had polygamy been an invention of our husbands, or a 
 system which they capriciously adopted, we might have been 
 grieved, but we should have known how to act, for we were in 
 a Christian country, where women had rights as well as men ; 
 it was our own hearts which were traitors to us. We had 
 been taught to regard Abraham and Jacob, and David and 
 Solomon as types of holiness, as men who were fit objects for 
 imitation; and now it was proved to us, from Scripture, that 
 these men were polygamists, and yet were blessed by God; 
 and we were called upon to follow their example. Thus we 
 tried to crush out the remembrance of our own womanhood. 
 Had we but followed the light of reason which God had given 
 for our guide, we should have trampled in the dust that vile 
 burlesque upon the holy religion of Jesus called a " Revelation 
 upon Celestial Marriage." As it was, the religious teachings 
 which we had received, both before and after we embraced 
 Mormonism, alike combined to blind us to the truth. 
 
 In this state of mind we knelt, and prayed for the Lord to 
 increase our faith in that very doctrine which in our hearts we 
 cursed and hated ; and on our knees we wept again ; and 
 natural feelings of repugnance mingled with an earnest struggle 
 to submit to the will of God. Madame Balif had not so much 
 faith in Mormonism as I had, and she had consequently less to 
 trouble her in that respect ; but she loved her husband, and 
 she knew that he was determined to go to Zion as soon as he 
 could; and then not only would all the luxuries of a happy 
 home be sacrificed, but all her anticipations of the future were 
 overshadowed by a terrible apprehension. Thus we were 
 equally troubled, though I had to endure most, as the task of 
 teaching fell upon me. I did at last manage to persuade her 
 not to offer any active opposition to the Revelation, but I could 
 not satisfy her that all was right. She even went so far as to 
 promise to try to overcome her own feelings, for if it was really 
 true she did not wish to be found fightiug against the Lord. 
 
 G 
 
82 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 She had, however, hardly ceased speaking when the thought 
 of her little daughters crossed her mind, and once more she 
 paced the room like an enraged tigress, declariug angrily that 
 " no vile polygamist should ever possess either of her sweet 
 girls." I had felt like this for my own darling Clara. 
 
 I had now a companion in misery, some one who could 
 sympathize with me. Even had my husband detested the doc- 
 trine as I did, he could not have comforted me as a woman 
 and a mother could. My poor friend could feel as I felt, and 
 her sympathy was very dear to me ; misery loves companion- 
 ship ; we were sisters in affliction. Not only so, Madame 
 Balif declared that this painful task should not rest on me 
 alone ; she would help me in speaking to the sisters. Thus 
 we helpe \ each other in the time of our trouble. 
 
 It must have been about this time that I received another 
 letter from Mary Burton. The postmark is quite indistinct, 
 but a week or two one way or the other does not signify 
 much. In her usual quick and impulsive way, she gave me 
 her views of the " beauties " of polygamy, and perhaps the 
 reader would like to hear what she said. 
 
 "... I am very miserable, Sister Stenhouse, and 
 furiously indignant. I little thought when I last wrote to you 
 that I should have such news to tell ; but I suppose you know 
 it all without my saying a word. How we all felt when we 
 first learned that polygamy was true, no words of mine can 
 describe ; Ave hardly dared look one another in the face. Let 
 me tell you how it was. 
 
 " One night, quite late, Elder Shrewsbury came round in a 
 hurry, and asked to see me. I went down into the parlour to 
 meet him, and Mrs. Elsworth came down also, and remained 
 until he went away, Elder Shrewsbury looked very strange 
 that night, just like a man who had been doing something 
 wrong and was ashamed 'of it. 
 
 " He excused himself for coming so late, but he said he had 
 only just received some importaut news, and could not rest 
 until he had seen us. He had been round at the Conference 
 house, and had there seen a good many of the Elders. They 
 were all talking earnestly upon the same subject, for that day 
 they had received, not only letters from the apostle at Liver- 
 pool, but also copies of the Millennial Star, with the Revela- 
 tion in it, which I suppose you have seen. Of course it was 
 impossible for them to doubt any longer, but most of them felt 
 it was a cruel blow. Elder Shrewsbury said they looked at 
 one another, but did not dare to speak. Nearly all of them 
 
Missionary Work. 83 
 
 had been anxiously trying to get rid of the false scandal, as 
 they supposed the accusation of polygamy to be; and in public 
 in their sermons, and in private to all the weak brethren, they 
 had over and over again solemnly declared that polygamy was 
 unheard of among the Saints, that it was a Gentile lie ; and 
 they had proved from the Bible, and from the Book of Mormon, 
 that a doctrine so sinful could never be believed or practised 
 by God's people. 
 
 " Now all this would be thrown in their teeth. Those who 
 hated Mormonism would revile them for it, and, worse still, 
 the Saints themselves would despise and doubt them for the 
 falsehoods which many of them had innocently told. Who 
 could tell where all this would end ? When they were found 
 to have been deceived in a matter like polygamy, about which 
 it was so easy to arrive at facts and certainty, who would trust 
 them concerning other doctrines, which depended upon their 
 veracity and testimony alone ? 
 
 " Then, too, there was worse to be said about the American 
 elders and apostles. Who could believe that Orson Pratt or 
 Lorenzo Snow knew nothing of polygamy ? And yet they 
 denied it in the most solemn Avay. And, oh, Sister Stenhouse, 
 think of the Apostle Taylor calling God to witness his truth 
 when he proved from the Book of Covenants that there was 
 no such thing as polygamy: and all the while he had himself 
 five wives in Salt Lake City ! 
 
 " Elder Shrewsbury told us all this, but he spoke slowly and 
 disjointedly, like a man whose mind is troubled. He said he 
 ■hardly knew what he was doing. Then he gave Mrs. Elsworth 
 a copy of the Star, and he asked me, too, to read the Revela- 
 tion carefully before I condemned it. 
 
 " ' If the Revelation, as you call it, allows polygamy,' I ex- 
 claimed, ' I hate and despise it, and you, and Mormonism, and 
 all !' I was quite in a fury, and I did feel as if I hated him then. 
 
 " He did not answer me ; he seemed too cut up to utter a 
 word; but I did not pity him. I felt that men who would 
 write such a revelation as that for their own wicked purposes 
 deserved all the hatred which the cruellest heart could muster 
 up ; they were loathesome to any pure-minded woman. As he 
 was about to leave he said mournfully, ' Sister Mary, I know 
 you have good cause for anger ; but be just. I have been just 
 as much deceived as ever you have been. It has unsettled all 
 my faith ; even our best and most tried missionaries are 
 shrinking from it. Do not blame me for what I have not done. 
 I never deceived you about it.' 
 
 G 2 
 
84 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 " I did not answer him ; and after a few moments he said, 
 ' Mary, I want to speak to you alone about these things. Cau 
 I see you, to-morrow evening, if I call ?' 
 
 " ' I wish you would not call me Mary any more, Elder 
 Shrewsbury,' I said ; ' it is too familiar now. We have been 
 far too friendly; but, thank God, I have found out in time, and 
 know how to act.' He went away looking most miserable. 
 Then I went to my own room, and tried to think the matter 
 out. If I were married, as you are, Sister Stenhouse, and if 
 my husband believed in the Revelation, I think I should go 
 crazy. As it was, I felt it terribly. You know, dear, I told 
 you that I liked Elder Shrewsbury very well, but nothing more. 
 Well, that was very true then, but now I know that it was 
 not all the truth. I take care that he shall never know what 
 I think of him, but I know that he is not the same to me as 
 other people. I do not think I love him ; no, I'm sure I don't 
 now ; but I do feel a great deal of interest iu him. That 
 night, however, I felt very mad at him. That he had been 
 deceived, I knew, and also that he must have felt sorry for 
 having deceived me ; and, if he cares for me, he must have 
 felt uneasy for what I might say or do, now the doctrine was 
 proclaimed. 
 
 " Well, the more I thought of it, the more angry I became, 
 and I couldn't sleep all night. The next morning I wrote a 
 little note to Elder Shrewsbury, saying that after all that had 
 happened I had fully resolved not to see him again. Many 
 of my friends, I said, were married, and could not help them- 
 selves, but I both could and would. The Mormon sisters 11^ 
 should ever pity and love ; but as for the Mormon men, I 
 would never have anything to do with one of them as long as 
 I lived. I did not want to be unkind to him personally, but 
 I really could not trust any one now. 
 
 " Then I showed this note to Mrs. Elsworth, and asked her 
 to give it to Elder Shrewsbury that night when he came. 
 
 " He came, of course, and he came again and again ; but I 
 would not see him ; and I did not even go to the meetings for 
 fear of coming across him there. He had long talks with Mrs. 
 Elsworth, and tried to get her to interfere, and at last he sent 
 me a long letter, entreating me not to refuse him. I was cooler 
 now; and when Mrs. Elsworth said I ought at least to see him, 
 even if I dismissed him then, I agreed to do so, and the next 
 night he came. 
 
 " He was very humble that night. You know what torrents 
 of eloquence he pours forth about anything that interests him, 
 
Missionary Work. 85 
 
 and how earnest he is. Bnt then all his eloquence had fled. 
 He hesitated and blundered, until I really quite pitied him. 
 He came and sat by me, and would have taken my hand, but I 
 would not let him. He did not tell me that he loved me, but 
 he spoke as if I were conscious of the fact; and you know, of 
 course, I couldn't help feeling that he cared for me, whether he 
 spoke about it or not. He assured me over and over again 
 that though he had often heard the scandal, as I had done, 
 he did not for a moment believe it ; he said that he should 
 never himself act up to the Revelation ; that if he loved, it should 
 be an undivided and all-absorbing love ; that he would rather 
 have less glory in eternity, with one whom he could idolize, 
 than obey the Revelation on Polygamy, and obtain a higher 
 position. 
 
 " All this time he hardly once looked at me, but when I did 
 see his eyes, they seemed very sorrowful and very earnest. I 
 confess to you that what he said made me feel very differently 
 for him. For a man of his ability and talents, who has such 
 an influence, and wins so much respect from every one he 
 meets, to be sitting there all bashful, like a naughty child, 
 before a young girl like me, and all because he loved me, made 
 me feel for him a pity which was very near to love. 
 
 " I told him that I had quite resolved, now that polygamy 
 was acknowledged, never to see him again, except as I might 
 see the other elders at meeting. I said I believed I was still 
 a good Mormon, as Mormons used to be; but I would never 
 receive polygamy, or be more than an ordinary friend to any 
 one who did believe it. 
 
 "After that I only saw him at the meeting. And, oh dear ! 
 you should see what meetings we have now ! Half the people 
 don't attend, and everything is so cold and lifeless. Some of 
 our most earnest elders never come ; and it is said among the 
 brethren that polygamy will produce the greatest apostasy which 
 the church has ever seen. Every one seems ashamed of it. 
 
 " And now, dear, I have written you a terrible long letter, but 
 you must please forgive me, for I have no one to whom I can 
 open my heart except to you. Kiss the babies, please, for me ; 
 and write soon to your most affectionately loving, 
 
 "Mary Burton." 
 
 Poor girl ! I said, as I folded up her letter ; but it is better 
 for her to suffer a little now, than for her to have been married 
 first, as I was, and then, when too late to go back, to have 
 polygamy annouuced as an article of faith. 
 
86 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 £>' 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 MORMONISM IN ENGLAND — PREPARING TO EMIGRATE. 
 
 It was fortunate for the Swiss mission that the new converts 
 in general could not read any language but their own, and 
 thus were ignorant of the deceptions which the American 
 Elders had practised upon the people. 
 
 Monsieur Petitpierre, the Protestant minister who thought 
 that the Revelation ought to be " prayerfully considered," was 
 the only one who understood English, and his knowledge was 
 very limited. His wife did not at all coincide with him about 
 the prayerful consideration of polygamy ; she disposed of the 
 subject without any prayer at all; and it is to be regretted that 
 in this respect the whole body of the Mormon women did not 
 follow her example. 
 
 What arguments she used I do not know ; but that they 
 were very much to the point no one can doubt, for they ban- 
 ished for ever all thoughts of polygamy from her husband's 
 mind. It was said among the Saints that she was very ener- 
 getic in her private discussions with her husband. But how- 
 ever this might be, it is certain that Monsieur Petitpierre 
 resisted as long as he could, for the Revelation quite fascinated 
 the childless old man; and it is possible that he might have 
 held fast to the faith, but unfortunately, just then certain 
 documents and publications of the apostles, and a very large 
 amount of evidence respecting them and their doings, attracted 
 his attention. He was in the main a good and truthful man, 
 although of small mental calibre, and the deceptions and 
 contradictions which he discovered quite disgusted him. 
 His wife's strong personal arguments gave the finishing blow 
 to his faith, and the spell was broken. The vision of a 
 modern Hagar and a little Ishmael vanished from his mind ; he 
 apostatised — and Mr. Stenhouse lost the services of a very 
 useful translator. 
 
 When I heard that he had left the church, how I wished 
 that I could have followed iu his footsteps! But apostasy 
 from Mormonism is only possible to two classes — the young 
 
Mormonism in England. S? 
 
 disciple, who has embraced the faith more from enthusiasm 
 than from conviction, whose experience is limited; and the 
 old disciple, who has entirely outgrown it, and has become dis- 
 gusted with it all. 
 
 I was neither of these. My faith was too firmly grounded 
 to admit of my giving it up. Though I hated polygamy, I 
 did not dare to question the divinity of its origin. I only 
 pitied myself and my sex for the burden which God had seen 
 fit to place upon us. I never for a moment supposed that 
 any man would have been so wicked as to fabricate a " Reve- 
 lation," or so blasphemous as to palm it off in the name of 
 the Lord. 
 
 Oh yes, I hated polygamy in my heart. And my efforts in 
 teaching it only increased my hatred ; for when I was gravely 
 told by the Elders that woman had been cursed in the gar- 
 den of Eden, and that polygamy was one of the results of 
 that curse — " her desire shall be unto her husband, and he 
 shall rule over her! " — I must confess that my heart within me 
 was rebellious. From my earliest childhood I had thought of 
 God as a father and a friend, to whom I might go and tell all 
 my griefs and cares ; but now He was presented to me as a 
 hard taskmaster, not as a father or a friend. 
 
 I met with much kindness, but I did not meet with much 
 sympathy from the brethren. They could not understand 
 that opposition to polygamy was anything else than selfish- 
 ness on the part of the sisters ; they did not comprehend 
 tin feelings of a woman's heart — its craving for some object 
 upon which to devote its whole wealth of love. They were 
 taught that theirs was a nobler position than that of the 
 sisters, and that women might consider themselves sufficiently 
 honoured in being allowed to become the mothers of their chil- 
 dren, and to help in building up their " kingdom." 
 
 Of my missionary work in Switzerland subsequent to the 
 introduction of polygamy I will say but little, except that it 
 was too successful. The same sorrow and indignation which 
 Madame Balif had so forcibly expressed, Avere shown by 
 almost every new convert, and I had to bear the blame of 
 teaching such a doctrine. The sisters became unhappy, and 
 wished that they had died in ignorance of Mormonism ; and I 
 felt humbled to the dust to think that I should be the inno- 
 cent cause of so much misery to others. I looked anxiously 
 for a change; but the only change which seemed probable was 
 that we might be permitted to emigrate to Utah — and there 
 was no comfort for me in that prospect. 
 
88 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 We remained in Switzerland until the close of the year 
 1854, and through the unremitting efforts of my husband 
 Mormouism was introduced into six cantons of the Confede- 
 ration. Monsieur Balif became an indefatigable missionary, 
 as was also Governor Stoudeman ; and to their liberality and 
 zeal Mr. Stenhouse was greatly indebted. With the aid of 
 Monsieur Balif, he established in Geneva a monthly periodi- 
 cal in the French language, for the edification of the Saints, 
 besides publishing a book in reply to the attacks of the clergy, 
 and many minor effusions. 
 
 At that time there was great excitement among the Saints 
 in Utah. Brigham Young and his apostles were denouncing 
 the Gentiles in the most unmeasured language. As I write, 
 a volume of sermons delivered at that time is before me, and 
 I really can hardly credit that so much ridiculous nonsense, 
 bad grammar, and blasphemy, could ever have been uttered 
 in a public place of worship — yet it was so. The Saints 
 were told that in these last times all the vials of the wrath of 
 God were about to be poured upon the earth ; wars and deso- 
 lations, anarchy and persecution, fire, pestilence, and unheard 
 of horrors, were to desolate all the world, until men should 
 call upon the rocks to hide them, and in the bitterness of 
 their souls curse the day in which they were born ; death was 
 to be sought for, but not found. Believing, as they did, that 
 all this was true, it is no wonder that the Saints in Europe 
 were alarmed, and became anxious to emigrate to Utah, where 
 they were told they would be safe. A seven years' famine 
 was said to be at the door, when a sack of wheat should be 
 sold for a sack of gold, and Gentile kings and princes were 
 to come and crouch to the Saints for a morsel of bread. The 
 very women in Zion were counselled to sell the ribbons from 
 their bonnets, to buy flour with the proceeds, and to hide it 
 away against the day of wrath. 
 
 The brethren and sisters in Switzerland who could dispose 
 of their property hastened to " flee to Zion." Some did so at 
 a ruinous sacrifice. One gentleman, a Monsieur Robella, I 
 knew, who was part proprietor of a newspaper and printing 
 establishment. In a very short time it would have been 
 entirely in his own hands ; but he sold out at a great loss, 
 dreading that the storm might overtake him before he reached 
 the "chambers of the Lord in the mountains," as the Elders 
 called Salt Lake City. 
 
 The journey from Europe to Utah at that time occupied 
 six or eight months ; it was a very tedious pilgrimage. My 
 
Mormonism in England 89 
 
 Swiss friends had first to travel to Liverpool ; thence by sail- 
 ing vessel to New Orleans ; by steamer up the Mississippi as 
 far as St. Louis ; up the Missouri to the frontiers ; and then 
 across the plains by ox-teams. Much of this distance had to 
 be travelled during the worst part of the year. They left 
 their homes while the Jura mountains were still draped in 
 snow ; and those who escaped the ravages of cholera and the 
 perils of the ways, reached their destination just as the frosts 
 of winter Avere beginning to whiten the hoary heads of the 
 hills which stand about Zion. 
 
 All the Swiss pilgrims travelled together until they arrived 
 at St. Louis ; there they separated, one party going up the 
 river, and the other making the journey overland. The 
 cholera attacked the latter party, and cut off the greater num- 
 ber of them, and their bones now whiten the prairie. 
 
 The news of their death soon arrived in Switzerland, and 
 the people at Lausanne were exasperated against the Mormon 
 missionaries; and when my husband visited that place he 
 found it prudent not to remain long. At the same time those 
 of the Saints whose relations had perished in the emigration 
 were pained to hear that it was because they " had not obeyed 
 counsel," and gone up the river with the other party, that they 
 fell by the way. And, as if in mockery of this statement, the 
 next news that we received was that a Missouri steamer, on 
 board of which were many Mormon missionaries — all most 
 obedient to counsel — had been blown to atoms, Many of the 
 Saints began to consider these things, and their love waxed 
 cold. 
 
 Through all this our position was anything but pleasant, 
 and my husband applied for permission to be released from 
 the presidency of the Swiss and Italian missions, in order 
 that he might " gather to Zion." His request was granted ; 
 and in the autumn of 1854 we bade a final adieu to Switzer- 
 land. 
 
 We might now be said to have begun our journey to Zion, 
 although we tarried long by the way, and several years 
 elapsed before we reached our destination. 
 
 When we arrived in London we obtained apartments in the 
 house of the President of the London Conference, and there 
 I had opportunities of observing the effects of the system 
 upon the English Saints. Elder Marsden, the president, was 
 a thorough Mormon, and a man who was very highly thought 
 of. He had been acquainted with all the apostles and high 
 priests who had resided in Liverpool — the great rendezvous of 
 
90 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 the Saints in England ; had been President of the Confer- 
 ence there, and now occupied the highest position of the 
 European mission. He was a pleasant, intelligent man, who 
 in his day had done much to build up the church ; but, like 
 his two predecessors, John Banks and Thomas Margetts, he 
 also apostatized from the Mormonism of later years. At the 
 time, however, of which I speak, he was considered to be of 
 good standing among the Saints. 
 
 Up to this time I had never seriously doubted my religion, 
 and I probably never should have done so had it not been for 
 the introduction of polygamy. Bat what I saw in London at 
 that time sadly shook my faith, and the stories which I heard 
 from Utah quite frightened me. Nothing, of course, was 
 openly said, and at first I disbelieved every evil report, until 
 at last it was impossible for me altogether to reject what was 
 told me. The testimony of an apostate or of a Gentile would 
 have been dismissed with contempt ; but when we saw letters 
 from mothers to their children, and husbands to their wives — 
 all people of unquestioned faith, setting forth the troubled 
 state of men's minds in Utah, expressing fears for their own 
 safety, and hinting at "cutting off" the transgressor, and the 
 doings of " Avenging Angels," we could not cast them aside 
 with contempt. My views of the glories of Zion were chang- 
 ing ; henceforth I was never firm in the faith ; I felt that 
 there was something wrong. 
 
 Perhaps the reader may think that now I might have left 
 the church, and thus have avoided all those troubles which 
 awaited me in Utah. But let him remember that, although 
 my faith was shaken, it was not wholly destroyed. All that I 
 clung to on earth — my husband, whom I truly loved, and my 
 darling children — were part and parcel of Mormonism. I could 
 not tear myself from them, and isolate my soul from all that 
 made life worth having. 
 
 My unsettled state of mind, however, did not long remain 
 a secret. It was spoken of among the Saints, and I became 
 an object of interest. The pastor over the London and 
 adjoining Conferences was the son of one of the chief apos- 
 tles in Utah — a young man, whose good nature was far better 
 than his religion. He visited us very frequently, and used to 
 bring with him the distinguished American Elders who might 
 be visiting the metroplis. I have no doubt that they were 
 sincere in their desire to do me good; but it was not kind 
 attentions that I then needed, it was the removal of the cause 
 of my sorrows. 
 
Mormonism in England. 91 
 
 The}' tried to persuade me that it was all " the work of the 
 Lord ; " but I could not see it in that light, and very often in 
 reply to their consolations I said very hard thiugs of poly- 
 gamy and the leaders of the church, whose conduct I consi- 
 dered sinful. And in this I did not stand alone, for I soon 
 found that the President of the Conference, Elder Marsden, 
 had been in the same position for years, and his wife was 
 " quite through " with Mormonism. In fact, so great had 
 been the distrust occasioned by polygamy, that in the report 
 ending June 30th, 1853, it was stated that from the whole 
 British church, which then numbered very nearly 31,000 souls 
 — 1776 had been excommunicated for apostasy ! 
 
 Of those who remained faithful 1 cannot give a much more 
 cheering account. The Elders who visited President Marsden 
 made as damaging reports of the condition of the Saints as 
 their worst enemies could desire. All that my young friend, 
 Mary Burton, had told me did not equal the truth of what I 
 saw for myself. No one had any confidence now in what the 
 Elders said ; how could they be trusted after so many years 
 of deception ? 
 
 The Elders who visited me and reasoned with me about my 
 want of faith, tried to persuade me to be baptized again. 
 Among the Mormons it is the privilege of the faithful to be 
 baptized over and over again, as often as may be needed, for 
 the remission of their sins, which are thus washed away, and 
 the penitent is enabled to start afresh. At that time of fear- 
 ful excitement in Utah, called by the Mormons "The. Re- 
 formation," when people were being exhorted under terrible 
 penalties to confess their sins, many were so frightened that 
 they acknowledged themselves guilty of crimes of which they 
 had never dreamed, while at the same time many horrible and 
 detestable sins were brought to light. Bria;ham and the 
 leaders found that they were confessing too much — the sinners 
 were far more numerous than the godly. Brigham, with his 
 usual craft, soon found a way of escape ; the people were told 
 to he baptized again, so that their sins being washed away, 
 they could truly say they were not guilty of the crimes of 
 which they might be accused. 
 
 I was not convinced, and did not see that I had anything to 
 repent of, but I was quite willing to bo re-baptized if it was 
 thought proper. At the same time I stipulated that the Pre- 
 sident of the Conference, Elder Marsden, should be baptized 
 with me. I felt that if 1 required re-baptizing, how much 
 more necessary was it for Elder Marsden to have his sins 
 
92 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 washed away also. I partly believed in the fearful stories 
 that I had heard from Zion, hut it was he who had showu 
 them to me. The Pastor of the Conference gave no sign that 
 he suspected my meaning in wishing Elder Marsden to be 
 baptized at the same time as I was, though I believe he must 
 have formed a pretty shrewd guess. And so we two went 
 down into the water, but I am afraid that little of our sins 
 was washed away. Not long after, President Marsden apos- 
 tatized, and my heart remained as hard as ever. At least I 
 was frequently told so. 
 
 Poor Elder Marsden ! He was branded with the most 
 opprobrious titles which Mormon ingenuity or malice could 
 fling against him : and yet I know of many men — not one 
 nor two, associated most intimately with Brigham Young 
 to-day, whose faith is not a whit stronger than that apostate's, 
 who serve the Prophet because it is their interest to do so, 
 but who in their hearts no more believe in his high preten- 
 sions than did James Marsden, the President of the London 
 Conference, 
 
 Meanwhile, the season for emigration had again arrived, 
 and we were directed to hold ourselves in readiness to start. 
 Although by no means unexpected, this " counsel " to emi- 
 gate came very painfully to me, for every step we took 
 towards Utah seemed to bring me nearer to the realization of 
 my worst apprehensions. I had lost my affection for Mor- 
 monism, and my enthusiasm had now quite melted away. 
 But to refuse to go was altogether out of the question. 
 
 Two little ones had been added to our family in Geneva, 
 and a fourth was born in London, the Christmas Day after our 
 return from the continent. The foggy atmosphere of the 
 metropolis did uot agree with them at all, accustomed, as 
 they had been, to the pure and bracing air of Switzerland, 
 and I soon had serious illness in my family. My second 
 little girl, Minnie, was so sick that we almost despaired of her 
 life, and the others required constant attention ; while the 
 little baby boy, only a few weeks old, was seldom out of 
 my arms. Just then it was, when so very awkwardly 
 situated, that the notification came for us to set our faces 
 Zionward. 
 
 They chided us for our want of faith, because we did not 
 take our poor little sick child from her bed at the risk of life ; 
 but I thank God now that nature was stronger than our fana- 
 ticism, and that our little girl was spared to grow up a blessing 
 of which we shall ever be proud. 
 
Mormonism in Engla?id. 93 
 
 One clay, President Marsden came to me confidentially, and 
 told me that the brethren were determined that I should leave 
 England, and had counted upon my yielding in a moment of 
 despair. My husband was to be counselled to go without me 
 to Utah, if I persisted in my refusal. After he had left 
 London, Elder Marsden was to give me notice to leave his 
 house ; and left destitute, and entirely among strangers, it was 
 thought that I should be only too glad to follow. 
 
 I cannot. tell how indignant I was ; I could not find words 
 sufficiently contemptuous to express what I felt ; I re- 
 proached Elder Marsden with cowardice for agreeing to such 
 an inhuman proposition, and I declared that I would not risk 
 the life of my child if an eternity of suffering awaited me. 
 
 My husband was absent when this took place ; but when 
 he returned he approved of what I had done, and Elder 
 Marsden was consequently " counselled " to send us away. 
 The doctor warned us against the danger of exposing my 
 little daughter to the cold in removing her ; but we had no 
 choice, for we were obliged to leave. Those were very pain- 
 ful times. Constant watching and anxiety had undermined 
 my own health, and I fell ill, Even then, had Ave been left 
 alone we might have escaped much of our trouble ; but the 
 incessant meddling of " counsel " was a perpetual irritation, 
 and Ave were completely worn out with annoyance. 
 
 A pleasant apartment at the west end of the toAvn was 
 taken for me, by the advice of the medical man, and I was 
 removed thither with my baby. I Avas not equal even to the 
 task of taking care of that little thing, and had to procure the 
 assistance of a nurse ; the other children were cared for by 
 friends. All that I needed was rest and tranquillity of mind, 
 and I soon began to recover strength, though far from Avell. 
 But this state of quietude was soon to be disturbed. Again 
 we Avere notified that the last emigrant ship of the season 
 was about to leave, and we must sail in her ; and again we 
 were obliged to refuse. My husband telegraphed to the 
 Apostle a,t Liverpool that I was not well enough to travel, 
 and he was told to " bring me along, and I should get bet- 
 ter." The Apostle (!) cared nothing for individual suffering 
 providing the ambitious plans of the priesthood in Salt Lake 
 City Avere carried out. But my husband, anxious though he 
 was to set out for Utah, and obedient as he ever Avas to 
 " counsel," Avas not such a slave as they thought him, and he 
 positively refused to go. For this he AA'as very much blamed, 
 and it was said that his own faith must be wavering. 
 
94 -An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 Since my arrival in London I had several times seen my 
 young friend, Mary Burton. She had, as she told me in her 
 letters, very greatly changed, for she had now become quite a 
 young lady. Still she retained most of her winning ways, 
 though her childish prettiness had given place to the more 
 mature beauty of womanhood ; and when I saw her I was not sur- 
 prised that she should be an object of attention, or that Elder 
 Shrewsbury should have felt so deeply her rejection of him. 
 
 I also had a visit from another person, whom I little expected 
 to see. This was no other than Elder Shrewsbury himself, 
 who, I had been told, had left London some months before. 
 This, he said was quite true ; he had left London, and 
 gone to work as a missionary hundreds of miles away ; trying 
 to forget his disappointment, but to no purpose. His was one 
 of those natures which, though kind and considerate to every 
 one, are not ready to form hasty attachments, but which, when 
 once they do meet with an object upon which to lavish their 
 affections, became devoted in friendship and unchanging in love. 
 Their affections flow more deeply than those of most people. 
 
 Such was Elder Shrewsbury, and such I thought he would 
 always be ; but what disposition, however good, can be relied 
 upon when influenced by religious fanaticism ? He stood 
 before me, then, manly and upright in his bearing, truthful and 
 honest — a man who would have scorned evasion or deceit ; and 
 his every thought of Mary was replete with tenderness and 
 love. And yet I lived to see that man again, in Utah — alas, 
 how changed a man ! 
 
 Before we first left England I was acquainted with Elder 
 Shrewsbury, but not very intimately. We had had one or 
 two interesting conversations together, but I remembered 
 him chiefly in connexion with Mary Burton. It was about 
 her that he now came to see me ; — he wanted me to talk to her, 
 and intercede with her in his behalf. But I was no match- 
 maker, and all my thoughts respecting love and marriage had 
 recently been anything but pleasant. I told him plainly that 
 I thought Mary had done quite right in refusing to see him, 
 and, in fact, declining to receive the attentions of any Mor- 
 mon man. I did not doubt his love for her at present, I said ; 
 but no one could any longer rely upon a Mormon Elder's 
 word. Years to come, when they had a little family growing 
 up around them, and when it would be too late for Mary to 
 repent of trusting him, he might suddenly be convinced of the 
 necessity of obeying the Revelation, and then what could she 
 do ? No ! Even supposing that she loved him, which, I said, 
 
Mormonism in England. 95 
 
 was very questionable, it was better that she should suffer a 
 disappointment now, than have her heart wrung with cruelty 
 and neglect in after-years. 
 
 " What ! " he cried, his eyes flashing with indignation ; " do 
 you take me for a dog that I should treat her so ? " 
 
 " No, no," I said, and tried to pacify him ; "I do not think 
 anything bad of you, but I look upon you as a man who is in 
 love, and therefore blind. You think of nothing now but 
 Mary, and are willing to sacrifice everything, and to promise 
 anything, providing you can win her. But when she has 
 become your wife, if she ever does, and you have time to cool 
 down, you'll begin to see things in another light. You'll find 
 that she is only an ordinary woman, made of flesh and blood, 
 like all the other daughters of Eve, and with, I daresay, quite 
 as many whims, and fancies, and perverse ways as any of 
 them ; and then, when she ceases to be ' an angel ' in your eyes, 
 and becomes merely a woman, you'll begin to assert your right 
 to think and judge for yourself, and very probably all your 
 former devotion to your religion will return." 
 
 " Sister Stenhouse," he replied, " you do not seem to have 
 a very high opinion of my constancy ; but I can assure you 
 that I have given this matter my most earnest, prayerful 
 thought. My love for Mary I need not mention ; my devo- 
 tion to my religion you only partly know. While we were 
 told that Polygamy was not true, no one could be more stead- 
 fast in the faith than I was ; and when the Revelation came, I 
 looked upon it as a blight and a curse to the Church of God. 
 And how well-founded my fears were, you can see from this 
 terrible apostasy which has come upon us. I almost myself 
 left the Church. Then I went to the Apostle, and I told him 
 how I was situated. I told him all about Mary, and my devo- 
 tion to her ; that I wished to win her for my wife, but that I 
 knew she would not marry me if she thought there was the 
 shadow of a chance that I should live up to the Revelation. I 
 told him that I myself should be perfectly wretched in Poly- 
 gamy, and that it was impossible that I should love more than 
 one. The Apostle said that I was quite right in all this. We 
 had no proof, he said, in the Bible, that Isaac had more than 
 one wife, and he was accepted of God. He counselled mo to 
 do all I could to win Mary, and told me that I might truthfully 
 promise her that I would never enter into Polygamy. But 
 Mary would not so much as listen to me ; in fact, since then 
 she never would see me alone." 
 
 "I am not sure," I answered, " whether I am doing right ; 
 
g6 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 but I don't mind saying to you that I think, from what I have 
 seen of Mary, that she does not dislike you ; but she is a sensi- 
 ble girl, and does not choose to risk the happiness of her whole 
 life." 
 
 He was vexed with me for saying this. How could I suppose 
 that he would wreck her happiness ? Was he not willing to 
 die if it would give her a moment's pleasure? And much more 
 lover's nonsense he talked. 
 
97 
 
 CHAPTER XL 
 
 EMIGRATING TO ZION : — WE ARRIVE IN NEW YORK. 
 
 The afternoon following, Mary herself came to see me, her 
 face all flushed with excitement, and eager to tell me some- 
 thing. 
 
 "Whom do you think I've been talking to, Sister Stenhouse?" 
 she exclaimed. " You'd never guess." 
 
 " I don't think there's much need for guessing," I said. 
 " Your face betrays the secret, Mary." 
 
 " Well," she said, " perhaps it does, but you wouldn't wonder 
 at it, if you only knew how very anxious I have been. All this 
 time I have kept my word, and I did not see him or speak 
 to him once, except at meetings, and not much then, and I 
 have been very unhappy. This afternoon I came round about 
 an hour ago to see you, and there on the step was Elder Shrews- 
 bury. He said he was here yesterday, and was just going to 
 call on you again, and then he asked me to go a little way with 
 him, as he had something very important to say to me. At 
 first I refused to go, but he wouldn't listen to it for a moment. 
 So I went with him, and we have been talking ever since; or 
 rather he has been talking, and I have been listening to him. 
 I can't tell you, Sister Stenhouse, all he said — you can guess 
 better than I can tell you. But I'm afraid I shall not be able 
 to keep my resolution much longer, for when we came back to 
 the door again he said he wouldn't come in to see you now, and 
 when he begged me to let him call at Mrs. Elsworth's to-morrow 
 night, I did not feel it in my heart to refuse him ; — was it 
 very wrong of me to do so ? " 
 
 Said I, " I'm afraid, Mary, my opinion would not matter 
 much either way ; Elder Shrewsbury's eloquence is the music 
 which you like best to listen to." 
 
 She blushed, and came and sat down beside me, and we 
 talked together until the sun went down and my little room 
 was quite dark. I told her of my troubles in Switzerland, and 
 of the miserable effects of introducing Polygamy there ; and 
 
 H 
 
gS An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 she in return told me all her love affairs with Elder Shrews- 
 bury and of her resolution not to listen to him unless he so- 
 lemnly promised never to have anything to do with the hated 
 Revelation. Her faith in Mormonism itself had, as I expected, 
 been very severely shaken ; and I think that had it not been 
 for my efforts to reassure her, she would have left the Church 
 at that time. Would to God she had. 
 
 After tea, she said, " Have you a copy of the Revelation 
 here, Sister Stenhouse ? I want to show you some strong points 
 in it which I think will astonish you. I learned all about it 
 from Elder Shrewsbury that night when he came to see me, 
 and it was that that disgusted me with the whole affair." We 
 searched through my trunk but could not find the document, 
 and I told her that I had not patience to read it quite through 
 when it was given to me, and that since then I was not sure 
 that I had even seen it. " Never mind," she said; " I'll bring 
 it with me when I come again." 
 
 How often have I thought since how much depended upon 
 that trifling circumstance. Had we then together read over 
 the Revelation and noticed the " strong points " of which she 
 spoke, I believe my eyes would have been opened, and I never 
 should have submitted to the misery which I afterwards en- 
 dured in Utah. 
 
 Towards the end of the year 1855 it was determined that a 
 company of Mormon emigrants, numbering several hundreds, 
 should leave Liverpool en route for Salt Lake City ; and for 
 that purpose a vessel was chartered early in November. This 
 was not the ordinary season for emigration, but there were 
 then in England numbers of the Saints, anxious to go to Zion, 
 but too poor to pay their passage all the way. It was thought 
 that when they arrived in New York they would have time to 
 earn* sufficient to carry them on, and it was then supposed 
 they could join those who came over by the ordinary spring 
 emigration. My husband and myself were counselled to join 
 these emigrants in Liverpool and proceed at once to New 
 York. 
 
 The Mormons in London were very kind to us before we 
 left, and did all they could to help us in preparing for our 
 journey. A kinder people than the Saints in Europe could 
 nowhere be found. My husband had been directed to take 
 charge of the emigrants in the transit from London to 
 Liverpool, and consequently I received no assistance from 
 him. It seemed to me a very cruel arrangement for the 
 Elders to take away from me and my helpless little ones the 
 
Emigrating to Zion. 99 
 
 very person to whom we ought naturally to have turned for 
 protection ; but what were the feelings of a weak woman 
 when they came in conflict Avith the " counsel " of inspired 
 Apostles ? 
 
 We arrived at Liverpool the same evening, and there my 
 husband was relieved of the charge of the company, and some 
 of the brethren were appointed to see that the baggage was 
 safely transferred from the railway to the ship. Early 
 the next morning we went on board, and it was not long 
 before we began to experience the pleasures (?) of an emi- 
 grant life. 
 
 Before we set out for Liverpool, I had been told that on 
 board ship I should be able to obtain all the " help " that I 
 might desire ; and, anxious to provide for the comfort of the 
 children, I engaged the services of two young girls to look 
 after them and assist me generally. This was an imprudent 
 step, as I afterwards found to my cost ; but at the time I 
 thought that I had made a very sensible arrangement. Help 
 being secured, my next thought was to get our berths fixed, so 
 that all might be ready before the rolling of the ship began. 
 My first inquiries were for our bedding ; but it was nowhere 
 to be found. Now this was very annoying, for we were all 
 tired, and the children, poor things, were fidgetty ; and antici- 
 pating a long and unpleasant voyage, I wanted to have every- 
 thing in readiness. Besides which I had made special prepara- 
 tions in the shape of many additional comforts which I knew 
 on board ship would be absolutely necessary, and had even sold 
 my watch and jewellery for that purpose. 
 
 I inquired of the proper authorities, but could obtain no 
 information, and nothing remained but for me to wait until the 
 Apostle came on board to bid a final adieu to the emigrants. 
 I felt this annoyance all the more, as I considered that we had 
 no right to expect such mismanagement. We would natu- 
 rally have preferred to make our own arrangements and to 
 go alone, had we been permitted to do so ; but we had, over 
 and over again, been instructed not to go by any other vessel 
 than that chartered by the Apostle Richards, that so we 
 might escape the perils which were sure to overtake the Gen- 
 tiles. Imagine our disgust when we found that as there 
 were not enough of the Saints to occupy the whole ship, the 
 lower deck was filled with Irish emigrants of a very low 
 order, and that their luggage and ours had been thrown to- 
 gether indiscriminately into the hold. Most of the Mormon 
 emigrants recovered their property when they arrived at New 
 
 H 2 
 
ioo An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 York ; but as for our own, personally, we never saw it 
 again, and all the voyage through we were left utterly desti- 
 tute. 
 
 Nothing remained but for me to put the best face I could 
 upon matters. I took my wearing apparel and other articles 
 out of the trunks and put them into pillow-slips, and extem- 
 porized as well as I could a rough substitute for beds. These 
 served for the children, and I covered them with my cloaks 
 and shawls ; and for our own berths and bed-covering I had 
 only a few pieces of carpet which I put aside for the cabin 
 floor, together with a worn-out blanket which an old lady on 
 board was good enough to lend me. This was our going to 
 Zion. 
 
 We had not been long at sea when the young sisters whom 
 I had engaged to help me fell sick, and some of the brethren 
 were very anxious to nurse them. This appeared to be quite 
 the established order of things, for I then found that it was 
 very seldom that a Mormon emigrant ship crossed the ocean 
 without one or more marriages on board. It was, no doubt, 
 very interesting to them, but to me it was extremely incon- 
 venient, especially considering that my husband had now taken 
 to his berth, which he did not leave during the remainder of 
 the voyage, and myself and the children were not much better 
 off. 
 
 Sick as I was, I had to prepare our food and manage every- 
 thing, for in those times emigrants either took out their own 
 provisions or were allowanced in raw material, and in either 
 case had to do their own cooking. My chief difficulty was in 
 getting what I had prepared to the fire-galley, for I could not 
 leave the children, and I Avas afraid to venture myself upon 
 deck. So I got any of the brethren who chanced to be pass- 
 ing to take it up, and of course they were willing to oblige me; 
 but the galley was so crowded — every one having his or her 
 own interest to attend to — that I very rarely, if ever, had my 
 provisions decently cooked, and on more than one occasion I 
 never saw them again. This was an inconvenience which 
 emigrants do not suffer at the present day. 
 
 Unsuccessful with the young sisters, I thought I would try 
 if I could not get one of the brethren to help me, and fortune 
 at first appeared to favour me. There was on board a young 
 man — Harry they called him — and he was so situated that 
 I found it easy to open a negotiation with him. He had been 
 a saddler's apprentice in a country town in England, and hav- 
 ing listened to some itinerant preacher, had been converted, 
 
Emigrating to Z ion. 101 
 
 joined the Church, and began to think for himself. So hear- 
 ing that terrible judgments were quickly coming upon the 
 Old World, he resolved to flee to the New, and in his hurry 
 to get there he forgot to inform his master that he was about 
 to leave. This accounted for his being so badly provided 
 for. 
 
 Now, Harry had those two great blessings — a splendid appe- 
 tite and unimpeachable powers of digestion. I will not say 
 that he enjoyed these two blessings, for that he did not, on 
 account of lacking a third blessing, namely, the wherewithal 
 to make the first two blessings a pleasure, and not an inconve- 
 nience. The ship's allowance was altogether insufficient for 
 him, and he therefore gladly engaged to do what few things 
 I required upon condition that I should add a little to his own 
 private commissariat. 
 
 Harry was a smart lad and at first very useful, and he soon 
 convinced me that he had told the truth when he said that he 
 had not had enough to eat ever since he came on board — it 
 seemed to me very questionable whether he ever had before. 
 He had, however, nothing to complain of in that respect 
 while in our employment; for although the children were 
 able to eat whenever we had anything fit for them, my hus- 
 band and myself could seldom touch our rations, and as every- 
 thing that was not used fell to Harry's share, he fared pretty 
 well. 
 
 Harry was not the lad to neglect his own interests, and 
 as our interests appeared just then to be his also, matters worked 
 very harmoniously. Our bread was never now brought back 
 to us half raw or burnt to a cinder. It must be properly cooked 
 for our eating or it would not do for Harry's; and as for it 
 being lost or delayed on its way to or from the galley, that was, 
 of course, quite out of the question. But the strangest thing 
 of all connected with Harry was that immediately after his 
 coming we were incessantly annoyed by the rats. I had 
 brought for the children's use a small supply of preserves and 
 other little delicacies ; but these mysteriously disappeared 
 with alarming rapidity; and whenever I saved any trifle for the 
 children to eat between meals, that also was gone when it Avas 
 wanted, and in every instance Harry suggested that it was 
 " the rats," though I never could find any traces of those in- 
 teresting animals. 1 was sorry to part with Harry, for he used 
 to tell funny stories to the children, and amused them a great 
 deal ; but " the rats " and Harry were so closely associated in 
 my mind, that I thought if Harry left the rats might perhaps 
 
102 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 also cease their visits. So Harry went, and I was once more 
 left alone to do the best I could. 
 
 The weather was very cold, and we felt its severity 
 very much. The rigging of the ship was hung with icicles, 
 and, without fire or warmth of any sort, it is no wonder that 
 we all were soon hardly able to move from cold and sick- 
 ness. 
 
 In the midst of my trouble I was told of an ancient Scotch 
 sister — a maiden lady, sharp and shrewd — who, like the miser 
 in Scott's " Fortunes of Nigel," was willing to help us " for a 
 consideration." It was agreed that she should give me her 
 services for the remainder of the voyage ; and the " considera- 
 tion " was to be two pounds English. Small as was our stock 
 of money, and much as I knew we should need it upon our 
 arrival, I felt that I could do no better than engage her. 
 There was no saying upon whom she might chance to set her 
 maiden fancy, but there was not the remotest chance of any of 
 the brethren falling in love with her ; so I considered her a safe 
 investment, and, besides, I must have somebody — there was no 
 alternative. 
 
 It was now Christmas time — a season sacred to joyous 
 memories and festivities ; but to ns, exiles and wanderers, 
 seeking a land of which we knew nothing, and which to us 
 was a new and untried world, it was far from being a happy 
 time. In the midst of the wild, dreary ocean there was 
 nothing to recall the pleasant reminiscences of the past, or to 
 inspire us with hope and courage as we thought of the 
 future. 
 
 The captain told us that we might prepare to eat our 
 Christmas dinner in New York : but he was mistaken in his 
 calculations. We did not eat our Christmas dinner in New 
 York, as he had promised. A storm came on, which com- 
 pelled us to stand out to sea again, and then a dead calm 
 followed, and it was not until New Year's eve that we set foot 
 upon the shore of the New World. 
 
103 
 
 CHAPTER XII. 
 
 LIFE IN NEW YORK : — CONDUCTING A MORMON PAPER. 
 
 Vert cold, and dark, and dreary, were the first days which 
 we spent in the New World. That faith which once had 
 led me to hope, and believe, and " endure all things," was now 
 powerless to nerve me to any new course of action for my 
 religion's sake ; for the dark shadow of Polygamy had come 
 across my way ; hope had fled, and my love, with the love 
 of many other faithful Saints, had waxed cold. 
 
 To my husband and children I was, of course, devotedly 
 attached, and was willing to combat any difficulty or endure 
 any trial with them, or for their sake ; and it was not long 
 before my constancy was put to the test. 
 
 The Mormon emigrants have always a Captain and two 
 " Counsellors " to every company. The Captain on board the 
 " Emerald Isle," — the vessel in which Ave came — was a re- 
 turning Utah Elder ; — one of his Counsellors was also a 
 returning Elder, and my husband was the other. As soon as 
 the Mormon Captain had come on shore, and had reported to 
 the Apostle in charge of the New York Saints, he left to visit 
 his friends. The Utah Counsellor had a young lady in the 
 company to whom he had become very much attached, and who 
 afterwards became one of his wives. I was not, therefore, 
 surprised that, as soon as he could get his baggage, he also 
 should disappear ; but my husband — the other Counsellor — 
 being encumbered with a wife and family, was obliged to re- 
 main, and the whole charge of seeing to the company devolved 
 upon him. 
 
 We had, therefore, to remain in Castle Gardens until the 
 whole company of emigrants was provided for ; and during all 
 the next week I, with my four children, remained in that 
 public place, sick and weary, and as destitute of bedding and 
 covering as we had been on board ship. The weather was 
 intensely cold, and, unaccustomed as we were to the severity 
 
104 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 of an American winter, we suffered not a little. The other 
 unfortunate victims to faith were in the same condition, with 
 the exception that they had something to sleep on at nights, 
 while I had nothing but the bare boards for my bed since we 
 left Liverpool ; — all that I could gather together had been 
 reserved for my babes. How we lived through that journey 
 I know not, but I am certain that, could I have foreseen what 
 we should have to endure, I would never have left England, 
 whatever my refusal might have cost me. 
 
 I could not refrain from contrasting my life before and since 
 I knew Mormouism. Before, I scarcely knew what suffering 
 was, so little had I been called upon to endure. I never 
 knew what it was to be without money, or to want for any- 
 thing ; but now I was in a strange land, in the depth of 
 winter, without a home, without a pillow to rest my weary 
 head upon, and with a future before me so dark that not a 
 single ray of light gave to it the promise of hope. Could any 
 slavery be more complete than mine ? My fanaticism and 
 zeal were all gone — I had nothing to sustain me. Certainly, 
 I was still held by the fear that Mormouism, after all, might 
 be of God, and that all this suffering might be necessary for 
 my salvation — but if at that time I had only had a friend 
 whose mind was clear from all the nonsense of Mormonism, 
 and who had felt sufficient interest in me to advise me for my 
 good, I think even then 1 might have freed myself from the 
 mental slavery in which I was bound. But I had no inter- 
 course with any but Mormons ; and, indeed, a wish to form 
 Gentile friendships I should then have considered a sin. 
 
 A week after our arrival, my husband found time to seek 
 for apartments for his family, and I was thankful to leave our 
 miserable quarters at Castle Gardens. 
 
 The Mormon authorities had, meanwhile, given instructions 
 to the other emigrants how to act, and they did little more 
 than this. Those who had not found work or places to go to 
 were ordered to leave the gardens, and received permission 
 to occupy an old dilapidated school-room in Williamsburgh, 
 which had been used for preaching. I went there almost 
 daily to see them, and therefore state what 1 saw as an eye- 
 witness, and neither exaggerate nor misrepresent. There they 
 huddled together, about one hundred and fifty — men, women 
 and children. Most of the men had been respectabe me- 
 chanics in their own country ; many of them I had known 
 personally and had visited in their cosy English homes ; and 
 their wives and families had been decently brought up. What 
 
Life in New York. 105 
 
 they must have suffered under this change of circumstances I 
 leave the reader to guess. 
 
 In that miserable place they lived day aud night — the poor, 
 dispirited mothers (many of them very sick) having to cook, 
 and wash, and perform all the necessary domestic duties, 
 round two small sheet-iron stoves. It was not long before the 
 place became like a pest-house from so many being confined in 
 so small a place, and breathing the same fetid and pestilential 
 atmosphere; and many of the young children died of an epi- 
 demic which was raging among them. 
 
 They had saved some of the ship's provisions, and that 
 was all they had to eat, and it did not last long. To me it 
 was most distressing to witness so much misery without being 
 able to render any assistance, particularly to see the poor 
 little children shivering and crying with hunger and cold, 
 while many of their mothers were in such a miserable state 
 of apathy that they paid little or no attention to them. I 
 often tried to awaken in them feelings of human sympathy, 
 but I was met with a murmur of discontent. The people, men 
 and women alike — seemed to be utterly demoralized. Nor 
 can this be a matter of wonder ; for in England the men had 
 been told that — while at home they could only earn four or 
 five shillings a day, and would never be able to put by enough 
 to carry them all the way to Utah — in New York they would 
 be able to earn two-and-a-half to three, and even four dollars 
 a day — equal to from ten to sixteen shillings English — and 
 that employers would even come on board ship anxious to 
 engage them. Thus they had by false statements been al- 
 lured from their homes and plunged into the most abject 
 poverty. Day by day they went out seeking work, but find- 
 ing none; willing to do anything to provide bread for their 
 families, but returning nightly, unsuccessful, to their starving 
 wives and children. 
 
 My own resources were gone. I could do nothing. When 
 we left Castle Gardens I think we only had about five dollars 
 left, while the heavy snow which covered the ground and 
 the intense cold promised many weeks of unusual severity. 
 Needing so greatly pity myself, how I sympathized with 
 those poor sufferers, how I pitied them ! 
 
 In the midst of all this, the Apostle John Taylor learned 
 that some of these poor souls had been seen begging. So he 
 came from his comfortable boarding-house in Brooklyn, well 
 wrapped up in a handsome overcoat, and scolded these poor, 
 starving creatures, and harangued them concerning the mean- 
 
io6 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 ness of begging. With great swelling words he spoke of the 
 dignity of the Saints of the Most High, and told them that he 
 despised a Mormon who could fall to the level of a common 
 street beggar. 
 
 Could he have heard the unspoken cui'ses of the poor, 
 wounded hearts of those who listened to him, as they thought 
 of his brother " Apostle " in England, and of how he had 
 deceived them and sent them into a strange country, in the 
 depth of winter, to beg, to starve, or to steal, he would have 
 learned that though the victim of a delusive faith may men- 
 tally submit to man-made creeds and priesthoods, in his heart 
 he will judge, not so much the words he hears as the man 
 who utters them. 
 
 The wisdom of tin Apostle found out a remedy. He 
 " counselled " the men and boys to buy shovels, and go forth 
 into the streets and clean away the snow from the fronts of 
 the doors and from the side-walks, and told them that they 
 would thus get plenty of money to keep them until winter 
 was over. One elderly brother, who had a little money left, 
 bought a stock of shovels ; but the emigrants found that there 
 were plenty of others who were as eager as they for work, and 
 who were much better acquainted with the way of obtaining 
 it. The shovel experiment was a failure, and the poor old 
 brother lost his money in the investment. 
 
 For whatever the Apostle Taylor may have contributed to 
 these unfortunate persons — whether in " counsel," money, or 
 provisions — he will doubtless have his reward ; and, for aught 
 I know, he may have been unable to give anything more than 
 counsel ; but, at the same time, my opinion of the value of 
 counsel remains unchanged. There has been no lack of 
 " counsel " or counsellors in the Mormon Church. " Counsel " 
 has been given in abundance to all, and by no means always 
 for the benefit of those who received it. It was not, however, 
 because he failed to assist them practically that the people 
 hated the Apostle Taylor, and have hated him ever since; but 
 it was for his pride and arrogance, and the way in which he 
 dared to talk to free-born Englishmen and Englishwomen 
 about the dignity of the Priesthood, and the contempt in 
 which he held them in the hour of their humiliation and dis- 
 tress — for that they hated him. 
 
 I do not, of course, wish to justify the people in begging ; 
 such conduct would have been despicable if they could have 
 found employment of any sort. But when I saw the starving 
 condition of those men and their helpless families, in that 
 
Life in New York. 107 
 
 wretched school-house, in my heart I almost honoured them 
 for having the courage to beg ; and I thanked God that the 
 " mean Yankee Gentiles " — as the Elders taught the Saints to 
 call American citizens who did not believe in Mormonism — 
 were able and willing to assist them. 
 
 One of those emigrants very recently related to me some of the 
 painful circumstances through which he passed at that time. 
 He told me that he walked the streets of Williamsburgh for 
 three days and three nights without a mouthful of anything to 
 eat, or a place to lay his head ; — he could obtain no work, 
 and at length, in sheer desperation, he was forced to beg. 
 The Church authorities knew well the misery of the people, 
 but took no adequate steps to alleviate it. 
 
 During the first weeks after our arrival in New York city, 
 we bad nothing to depend upon but the provisions which we 
 had saved from the ship's rations. I had known what it was 
 to be in a foreign country without money and without food ; 
 and on board ship I took care of our rations when they were 
 not consumed by Harry or " the rats ;" for I thought that if 
 I did not need them — which, indeed, I sincerely hoped Aright 
 be the case — I could certainly find some one who would be 
 thankful for them. These rations consisted chiefly of sugar 
 that was almost black ; very bad black tea, which when made 
 looked like dye ; the poorest kind of sea-biscuit ; and othei.;^ 
 things accordingly. The provisions for the Mormon emi- ™ 
 grants were purchased in bulk by the Church authorities, who 
 made their own profits out of them, and the Apostle at Liver- 
 pool had the benefit of all that could be saved out of them 
 during the voyage. It was commonly said among the people 
 that the sight of them alone was quite sufficient for any one 
 who was not half-starved ; and yet they had paid the price of 
 the best. 
 
 We had been in New York several weeks when one day my 
 husband called at the office of a paper called The Mormon, 
 and there met with the Apostle Taylor, who conducted that 
 paper. The Apostle expressed great regret that Mr. Sten- 
 house should be without occupation at that season of the year, 
 and with a family of children upon his hands. This sympathy, 
 coming from a brother Missionary was, I thought, very tardy, 
 for my husband had then devoted over ten years of his life to 
 the cause, and his record in the Church had been untai'nished. 
 The Apostle was living in an elegant house, surrounded by 
 every comfort and luxury, while he knew that we had not so 
 much as a chair, or even a bed to lie upon. What had he 
 
io8 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 done for the Church more than my husband had done ? In- 
 deed, I firmly believe that he had not endured half so much, 
 but — he was an Apostle ! His unhelping sympathy appeared 
 to me a little more than questionable. 
 
 He told my husband that he might come into the office of 
 The Mormon, and write the addresses on the wrappers, and 
 that he would give him a few dollars a week " to help things 
 along," until something better presented itself. My husband 
 thought this a disinterested action on the part of the Apostle 
 John Taylor, but my experience in Mormonism led me to be 
 distrustful and suspicious of everything that an Elder or 
 Apostle said or did. This offer, however, came when we 
 really had nothing to look to, and dared not refuse any assist- 
 ance that was offered, however small it might be. But I must 
 admit that my ideas of Apostolic liberality were very much 
 shocked when at the end of the week Mr. Stenhouse informed 
 me that he had been allowed four dollars for his services, and 
 that out of that magnificent sum the Apostle John Taylor had 
 deducted twenty-five cents which sheer necessity had com- 
 pelled him to borrow for the week's ferriage. 
 
 The Apostle-editor had two assistants from Utah with him 
 in The Mormon office — the one a " Seventy," and the other 
 a " High-Priest " — terms and titles which I shall presently 
 explain. A few weeks after my husband entered the office, 
 the " Seventy " who had charge of getting out the paper was 
 allowed to return to Zion. The High-Priest remained in the 
 Eastern States visiting alternately the various branches of the 
 Church, and doing some very zealous courting with a young 
 English girl who lived in Williamsburgh, while his two un- 
 suspecting wives at home in Salt Lake City were earnestly 
 praying the Lord to bless him in his " mission." 
 
 Whatever the Apostle may have thought of his associate, 
 he could not very well remonstrate with him, for he himself 
 was, and had been for some time, doing a good deal in that 
 line with an amiable Connecticut girl, and was only waiting 
 for special permission from Brigham Young, to add her to the 
 half-dozen wives he already had in Utah. 
 
 There was, moreover, another High-Priest attached to that 
 office, but no one seemed to understand his exact position. 
 To all appearance his principal occupation was travelling from 
 New York to Connecticut and from Connecticut back again 
 to New York. He was a very robust-looking man, but it 
 was reported that he was troubled with heart-disease, and that 
 the purer air of Connecticut was a great relief to him. This 
 
Life in New York. 109 
 
 I fully believed when, some time after, I discovered that the 
 young lady engaged to the Apostle had a charming sister, 
 for I thought it very probable that she rendered no small 
 assistance to the Connecticut air in giving relief to his dis- 
 eased heart. 
 
 My husband not being at that particular time under the in- 
 fluence of " heart-disease," soon became very useful on the 
 editorial staff. In fact, pretty well everything was left to 
 him, and not unfrequently for two or three days he saw no- 
 thing of the Apostle or either of his associates, and the whole 
 responsibility of getting out the paper — at the magnificent 
 salary of four dollars a week ! — rested upon him. He was 
 told that he must regard it as a mission, and be prepared to 
 act accordingly. 
 
 In course of time, however, the visits to Connecticut came 
 to an end. The Apostle obtained Brotlfer Brigham's per- 
 mission to practise a little Polygamy among the Gentiles, and 
 Miss Young made him an excellent housekeeper in a handsomely 
 furnished house in Brooklyn. The poor High-Priest and the 
 Seventy did not fare so well : they were expected to wait 
 until they reached Zion. The two young ladies to whom they 
 were engaged were amiable and good girls, who would with- 
 out doubt have met with excellent husbands either in or out 
 of the Church ; but the name of an Apostle or High-Priest — 
 when the men themselves were away from home — carried 
 with it many charms, and won the hearts of the young ladies 
 and their friends. The Apostle was, of course, well used to 
 the training of wives in the " celestial order," and when he 
 returned home with his youngest bride he suffered no parti- 
 cular inconvenience. But the High-Priests realized the truth 
 of the adage " The course of true love never did run smooth." 
 The first wife of one of them refused to have anything to do 
 with his new bride, and kept him at a respectful distance 
 from herself then and ever afterwards ; while the first wife of 
 the other declined to acknowledge the claims of hei r youthful 
 rival. The first High-Priest has gone to heaven ; the other, 
 in the course of time, gave a bill of divorce to liis wife. 
 What happiness either of these three girls found in Poly- 
 gamy they best know, but the young widow appears decidedly 
 the happiest of the three. 
 
 I had heard much while in London about men taking 
 wives " from principle," and that, after the first wife, they 
 made no open display of their love, but I could not see that 
 they differed in the slightest from their Gentile brethren in 
 
no An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 that respect ; the Utah Elders of whom I have spoken 
 always seemed to be very human. In all Polygamic court- 
 ships that I have since witnessed, the brethren have appeared 
 to think that the " Lord's " revelation was a trifle too slow in 
 arranging affairs of the heart, and they have been zealously 
 preparing for its coming. In some instances the revelation has 
 come too late, and in many others it would have been very disas- 
 trous if it had not come at all. In all cases it may be safely 
 asserted that all that has been said about getting the consent 
 of the first wife and obtaining a revelation from the Lord as 
 to whether it is pleasing in His sight for a man to take 
 another wife, or not — is pure folly and nonsense. Brigham 
 Young is the only " lord " who has ever been consulted on 
 that question. If he acknowledged this to the people and 
 they chose to abide by it, they alone would be to blame ; but 
 it is the grossest of frauds for men claiming to be the re- 
 presentatives of Jesus Christ to play upon the credulity of an 
 honest people, trifling with the most sacred subjects, and telling 
 them that God answers by special revelation and declares 
 whether or not it is His will that each of these plural mar- 
 riages should take place. The Apostles and Elders them- 
 selves are not deceived. They know well enough that 
 there is no truth in all this mockery ; they know that the 
 only source of all their revelations is the man Brigham 
 Young. 
 
Ill 
 
 CHAPTER XIII. 
 
 SAINTLY PILGRIMS ON THE "WAY — THE " DIVINE " HAND-CART 
 SCHEME. 
 
 One Sunday morning in early spring I attended a meeting of 
 the Saints in Williamsburgb. 
 
 My husband was there, and took part in the service, and so 
 did the Apostle Taylor, and one or two other Utah Elders. 
 I went to that meeting in a very desponding state of mind, 
 for our prospects since the day of our arrival had not 
 brightened very much, and I felt the need of some comforting 
 and cheering words. 
 
 Whether it was the influence of the clear spring morning, 
 or that the Elders had noticed the depression of spirit among 
 the Saints, I cannot tell, but I know that on that particular 
 occasion their words seemed to me more earnest and encourag- 
 ing than they had been for a long time past. 
 
 As we came out from the meeting, Brother Benton, one of 
 the Elders, stepped up to my husband, and said, " Brother 
 Stenhouse, they are expected to arrive to-night or to-morrow; 
 I suppose you will be down at the ' Gardens ' to meet 
 them." 
 
 I knew well enough who " they " were who were expected 
 to arrive, and so did Mr. Stenhouse. " Yes," he said, " of 
 course I shall be there, but most likely we shall have to wait 
 a few days before they come." Then be stopped and talked 
 over the matter with Elder Benton. 
 
 Now it chanced that at that time Brigham Young was try- 
 ing an experiment. The " Prophet of the Lord " sometimes 
 finds it necessary — notwithstanding the "revelations" which 
 he is supposed to receive — to try experiments like other men 
 before he can feel sure that his plans are likely to succeed. 
 The only difference between him and other men is, that he — 
 knowing himself that his plans are his own inventions, or the 
 inventions of the leaders — gives out that they come direct 
 from God, thereby deceiving the ignorant, innocent, and con- 
 
H2 An Englishwoman in Utah 
 
 <v 
 
 fiding people ; and when his plans fail, as they often do, he 
 never confesses that he is wrong or mistaken, but lays all the 
 blame on some other person, or, failing that, on " the Lord " 
 or the devil. Other men, as a rule, say nothing about " the 
 Lord " or devil, but when their experiments fail they 
 frankly confess that they themselves were not inspired, but 
 were liable to err. That is all the difference. 
 
 In the present instance Brigham Young tried an experi- 
 ment upon a rather large scale. 
 
 Up to the year 1856 the Mormon emigrants made the 
 journey from the Frontiers across the Plains by ox-teams, as 
 I have already described, and every season some of the weal- 
 thier Mormons formed themselves into an independent com- 
 pany, paid their own expenses, and travelled with more com- 
 fort. The expense to the poorer emigrants was very small, 
 for they performed the greater part of the journey on foot — 
 the ox-teams being used for transporting provisions and bag- 
 gage — one hundred pounds of the latter being allowed to each 
 emigrant. 
 
 This " plan " was, so far, a success, and the settlements of 
 the Saints increased thereby,' slowly but surely, in population 
 and wealth. There were, however, at that time, thousands 
 of Saints in Europe anxious to emigrate, but who were too 
 poor to provide the small sum requisite for that purpose. 
 During the winter of 1855 this difficulty was discussed in 
 Conference by Brigham and the leading men in Salt Lake, 
 and some one suggested what was afterwards known as the 
 " Hand-Cart Scheme." The idea of this " scheme " was to 
 transfer the people from Liverpool to the Frontiers in the 
 cheapest possible way, and for them then to cross the Plains 
 with light-made hand-carts, just strong enough to carry the 
 fewest possible necessary articles, but sufficiently light for the 
 men, women, and even ybung girls, to draw them. 
 
 This "plan" would not perhaps have been a bad one if it 
 had been properly carried out, and if Brigham Young had 
 seen, as he might have done, that suitable preparations were 
 made beforehand. But the Hand-Cart Emigration Scheme 
 began with a lie and ended in ruin. 
 
 The confiding Saints were told that " God " had specially 
 inspired His servant Brigham for this purpose, and the scheme 
 was a revelation direct from on high. — No* proper measures 
 were taken to provide for the emigrants — all was done upon 
 faith — faith on the part of the people in their — as they 
 supposed — inspired leaders ; deception on the part of those 
 
Saintly Pilgrims on the Way. 113 
 
 leaders towards the people, whose only fault was that they 
 trusted them too well. 
 
 The Millennial Star proclaimed the " plan " to the Saints 
 in Europe, and so great was the response to this special sum- 
 mons that in that year — 1856 — it was roughly estimated that 
 no fewer than five or six thousand Mormon emigrants tra- 
 velled from Liverpool to Salt Lake City. It was the first 
 company of these emigrants that Brother Benton alluded to 
 when he told Mr. Stenhouse that " they " were expected that 
 night or the next ; but iu those days emigrant vessels were 
 frequently delayed by adverse winds and other circumstances, 
 and no one could calculate upon the exact time of their arri- 
 val in port. 
 
 The following morning, my husband, when he returned 
 from the Mormon office, brought with him a letter bearing the 
 English postmark, and addressed to me in the neat unmis- 
 takable handwriting of Mary Burton. I had been waiting 
 and watching for a letter from her ever since our arrival ; I 
 was anxious to hear from her, and I hastily tore it open, so 
 impatient was I to know how she was getting on. What I 
 read interested me deeply, though it did not surprise me. I 
 had seen Mary many times after the interview which I have 
 already related, and our conversations aud discussions were to 
 us of all-absorbing interest ; but as they were mostly personal 
 I have not cared to record them in this narrative. To tell 
 the truth, her love affairs with Elder Shrewsbury occupied 
 more aud more the most prominent place in all our discussions. 
 His enthusiasm was perfectly infectious. As long as Mary 
 absolutely refused to see him, her love for him and her faith 
 in Mormouism were anything but overpowering. But Elder 
 Shrewsbury was one of those peculiar persons who have a sort 
 of magnetic charm about them; who, without our knowing it, 
 or even, in some instances, contrary to our will and reason, 
 enlist all our sympathies and leave behind them an impression 
 that we vainly try to efface. He only wanted opportunity, 
 and his success was sure. 
 
 Opportunity he had had for pressing his suit with Mary and 
 making an impression upon her heart, ever since the day when 
 they met at my door, and had taken that walk together, 
 as Mary said, for the purpose of discussing important mat- 
 ters. 
 
 Now the letter which I received opened to me another 
 chapter in Mary's life, which without the gift of prophecy 
 I might have easily predicted. Elder Shrewsbury's patience 
 
 I 
 
114 An EnglisJnvoman in Utah. 
 
 and perseverance met with their due reward, and Mary at 
 length promised to become his wife ; but fascinated though 
 she was, and herself almost as deeply in love as he was, she 
 nevertheless made one condition which showed that she had 
 not entirely lost that prudence and determination which she 
 had shown in the early days of their courtship. 
 
 " When he spoke to me in that way — you know hoio, Sister 
 Stenhouse " — she said in her impulsive way, " How could 
 I persist in saying No to him ? It wasn't in my heart to do 
 so. I didn't say ' Yes ' in so many words, but I simply 
 said nothing, and he took my silence for consent. Then — 
 
 but no, I won't even tell you everything 
 
 I know he thought he was going to have it all his own way ; 
 but I didn't think so. I told him then that I had firmly re- 
 solved upon one thing — that I never would marry him unless 
 he made a solemn vow and promise before God that he would 
 never enter into Polygamy. I could not hide from him that I 
 loved him — he knew it and could see it; but I said I never would 
 go to Utah alone, and I certainly never would marry at the 
 risk of my husband taking another wife. No ; I was willing 
 to give him my heart, my all — it was only fair for him to do 
 
 the same by me He was very near me then, 
 
 and my hand was in his ; and he was looking into my eyes. 
 Then he whispered the promise I had asked of him, and, dear 
 Sister Stenhouse, I know I can depend upon his word. We 
 shall be happier in this world by ourselves, and we feel quite sure 
 that God will not ask us to do anything in heaven that would 
 make us miserable. Perhaps I oughtn't to say this, but I'm 
 so happy that I cannot allow myself one single wretched doubt 
 about the future or my husband, such as I used to have. 
 We were married on the 27th of January. 
 
 " And now we are getting ready for Zion, and are busy 
 day and night. Of course you have heard of the " Divine 
 Plan " — the Hand-Cart Scheme. Oh, Sister Stenhouse, I 
 am so very, very much ashamed of myself for all the wicked 
 things that I used to say about the Apostles and the Elders. 
 Since our marriage, Elder Shrewsbury has explained every- 
 thing to me, and set things in their right light. It is a 
 glorious privilege for us to be permitted to gather to Zion, 
 and now that I know my dear husband will never even think 
 of another besides myself, I glory in the thought of leaving 
 the Gentile world and all its wickedness. 
 
Saintly Pilgrims on the Way. 115 
 
 " We go with the first company this season. 
 
 " I will tell you all the rest of the news when I meet you, 
 dear." 
 
 So Mary Burton was married, and coming with the Hand- 
 Cart Company. " Why," I said, turning to my husband, 
 " they'll be here in a day or two now." 
 
 " Perhaps to-day," he replied. 
 
 They did not, however, arrive either that day or the next ; 
 but towards the end of the week we were told that their 
 vessel was in the river, and I accompanied my husband to 
 Castle Gardens to see them. 
 
 A strange spectacle was presented to our view. More 
 than six hundred Mormon emigrants were gathered there, all 
 on their way to Zion, and burning with zeal and enthusiasm 
 worthy of a better cause. There were aged men and women, 
 whose heads were hoary with the snows of many a winter, 
 aud whose tottering steps had borne them to the verge of 
 three score years and ten ; there were stout-hearted fathers 
 and families, and matrons with sons and daughters growing 
 up around them ; there were young men in the pride and 
 strength of manhood ; and maidens in the modest blush of 
 Avomanly beauty ; and little toddling children, and babes in 
 their mothers' arms — all obedient to what they thought was 
 the command of God Himself — all with their faces set stead- 
 fastly aud anxiously Zionward. 
 
 Let not the reader smile at the blind infatuation of those 
 poor emigrants. Would he or she have suffered so confid- 
 ingly — so faithfully — for his or her religion ? They might be 
 mistaken ; but truly theirs was a faith which " hoped all 
 things, believed all things, endured all things." Surely, in 
 His sight — who judges the heart — the blind obedience of those 
 men and women who were ready to suffer and to endure unto 
 the bitter end, because in their child-like faith they thought 
 that it was His holy will — such practical devotion was more 
 truly acceptable than the formal professions of an untested 
 faith. 
 
 I met at Castle Gardens many whom I had known in the 
 old country ; but it was one particular face which I was 
 auxious to see. A man wrapped in a thick great coat, aud 
 with a fur cap upon his head, brushed against me ; and 
 before I had time to raise my eyes, my hand was grasped in 
 his, aud I heard Mary's husband say, " Oh Sister Stenhouse, 
 I'm so glad to see you ; I knew we should meet you in New 
 York. Come and see Mary. She's my Mary now ! " 
 
 t 2 
 
n5 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 I went with Elder Shrewsbury and I saw Mary. But oh, 
 how greatly was she changed ! When I returned from our 
 Swiss mission and saw her after an interval of several years, 
 I was, of course, struck with the alteration which had then 
 transformed her from a pretty little fairy-like girl into a de- 
 corous young lady contemplating matrimony ; but although 
 I had now been absent from England only a few months, I 
 observed a much more striking alteration in her than on the 
 previous occasion. It was not now, I thought, so much an 
 outward and personal change, as a new development of her 
 inner consciousness^ — her soul itself. Her form was as grace- 
 ful, and her eyes as bright as ever ; but from those eyes 
 there now shone forth another light than that which I had 
 thought so charming in the by-gone time. 
 
 Her affection for me was as warm and demonstrative as 
 when we first met. She recognized me in a moment, before 
 her husband had time to say a word ; and, throwing both her 
 arms round me, she kissed me again and again with all the 
 effusion of her childish days. Taking my hand she led me 
 gently into a quiet corner and seated me beside her on a 
 big trunk, and then she began to talk. It was the same soft 
 sweet voice again, which used to be so dear to me when I was 
 left all alone in Southampton, soon after my marriage, while 
 my husband was on mission in Italy. 
 
 She told me all the story of her courtship — all, and much 
 more, than she had told me in her letter. But it was when she 
 came to speak of her marriage, of her husband, and especially 
 of their pilgrimage to Utah, that I observed more especially 
 the change which had taken place in her. She was no longer 
 the light-hearted girl, half-doubting her strange religion, and 
 rejecting it altogether when it did not coincide with her own 
 ideas and wishes. No : Elder Shrewsbury — had he been ten 
 times a Mormon Elder — could not have wished for a more 
 obedient, a more earnest, I might say, a more fanatical be- 
 liever than was now to be found in his young and beautiful 
 wife. Her eyes really glowed with enthusiasm as she spoke 
 of " the work of the Lord " and of " gathering to Zion ;" and 
 her voice, though soft and sweet as ever, had in it, now and 
 then, a tinge of sternness which told of a determination and 
 spirit which the casual observer would never have suspected. 
 
 I expressed some surprise that she and her husband, not 
 being without funds, should have gone with the Hand-Cart 
 Company when they might have waited and have gone with so 
 much more comfort with one of the independent companies. 
 
4 
 
 Saintly Pilgrims on the Way. 117 
 
 " Why, Sister Stenhouse," she said, " we have clone it as a 
 matter of faith. Certainly we conld have afforded to go in 
 any way we chose, but my husband said we ought to be an 
 example to the poorer saints ; so we gave away nearly all our 
 money to help the emigration fund, and then we came, just as 
 you see us, along with the rest." 
 
 " But the danger and discomfort is so great," I suggested. 
 " Surely the Lord does not want us to sacrifice ourselves when 
 no one is benefitted by it ? " 
 
 " Not a bit," said she ; " there's no danger, Sister Stenhouse, 
 and if there were it would only please me all the more. As 
 for discomfort, why we should have had that any way, and we 
 both glory in making sacrifices. Besides which, we have been 
 told by the Apostle that this will be the most pleasant and 
 successful journey across the Plains that has ever been 
 made." 
 
 " I am a little doubtful of the promises of Apostles and 
 Elders," I said ; " and I remember, Mary, when you used to 
 agree with me." 
 
 " I know I did," she answered ; " but Brother Shrewsbury 
 has shown me how wrong I was — I never doubt now. But I 
 think you have a wrong notion about this hand-cart scheme. 
 It is not an ordinary plan such as any man might have made. 
 God Himself revealed this plan to Brigham, and in fact we 
 call it ' the divine plan ' in our songs. Oh, you should hear 
 our songs ! They're a little rough, but the singing is so 
 earnest and the voices of the men and girls blend so well 
 together, that I know you'd like them. There's only one 
 thing that I don't like about this plan, and that I daresay is 
 all right if only I knew it." 
 
 " I think, Mary," I said, " I could tell you a good deal that 
 you wouldn't like if you knew it." 
 
 11 No, dear," she replied hastily, as if afraid to hear me, 
 " don't tell me unpleasant matters. I'll tell you all I meant. 
 The Prophet and Ileber C. Kimball, and Jedediah Grant, 
 counselled the richer emigrants to give as much as they could 
 — all their property, if they had faith enough — to help the 
 poor brethren to emigrate; but the American Elders had 
 private instructions — so Brother Shrewsbury told me — to use 
 the money to help out all the unmarried girls who are willing 
 to go. I confess that this troubled me not a little ; but my 
 husband says that when we get to Zioti we shall find all will 
 be right, and of course I believe him." 
 
 Mary's conversation puzzled me a good deal at the time. 
 
n8 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 She had formerly heen so clear-sighted and so unbiassed by 
 prejudice, and now she seemed ready to believe anything. 
 All her husband's enthusiasm was now her own; she saw 
 with his eyes, and in the intensity of her love for him she 
 believed all that he accepted as true. Long after, when I 
 thought of that short interview, I called to mind her impulsive 
 earnestness, and I felt that a secret misgiving, unconsciously 
 to herself, was partly the cause of it. Unknown to herself 
 her excess of zeal was the offspring of doubt. 
 
 Life in the future was in anticipation to my poor friend one 
 long day of hope and happiness. She could not see the 
 shadow of a cloud — no coming sorrow darkened her Avay. 
 Zion, to her excited imagination, was the abode of peace, and 
 sanctity, and unchanging joy. 
 
 I asked her whether the Saints in England had heard any 
 of those strange reports about Brigham Young defying the 
 Government, which had attracted so much attention in this 
 country. 
 
 " Certainly," she said ; " it is because the day is so very 
 near when all intercourse between God's people and the 
 Gentile world shall be cut off for ever that these great efforts 
 are being made to gather the Saints to Zion. Of course you 
 know this, but I don't think you knowlill. Why, at the last 
 general conference in Liverpool, the president had instruc- 
 tions from Salt Lake to propose Brigham Young as ' prophet, 
 seer, revelator, and King ! ' " 
 
 "King?" I said. "How can President Young ever be 
 1 king ' ? Utah is part of the territory of the States, and 
 under their jurisdiction ; it is not even a State i'tself yet, and 
 Congress has refused to sanction the name of Deseret. This 
 country will never suffer a kingdom to be set up in Utah ; 
 you must be misinformed,, Sister Mary." 
 
 "No, Sister Stenhouse," she exclaimed, "I am under no 
 mistake. My husband assured me that the conference ac- 
 cepted the proposition, and that it was received unanimously. 
 The Saints are gathering in from all parts of the world, and 
 when war is declared they will not be found unprepared. 
 Why, here on board with us, the American Elders are all 
 provided with swords and revolvers of the very best make 
 that could be got for love or money, and I myself have heard 
 them say that Brigham Young intends shortly to declare his 
 independence of the United States. We didn't know this 
 before we left England, but we felt sure that he had some 
 great purpose in view which had been revealed to him." 
 
Saintly Pilgrims on the Way. 1 19 
 
 " Before we left," I said, " the Saints were all eager to 
 emigrate." 
 
 " Yes, dear," she answered, " but nothing like they are now. 
 You have no idea how excited and anxious everybody i*. 
 Some of the people, in order to obey counsel, sold their 
 watches and jewellery, and even their best clothes, scarcely 
 keeping enough for tbe journey, and every one who had any 
 money gave it away. Brigham Young set a noble example in 
 tbat ; even the Gentiles would admire bim if they knew all. 
 Why, we had on board ship with us Brother Tenant, the rich 
 new convert, who paid thirty thousand dollars for the property 
 which Brigbam Young so generously gave to help tbe Emi- 
 gration Fund. He hardly had enough left to carry him and 
 his family to Zion ; and now he is going to cross the Plains 
 with us, to settle in Salt Lake City. He is somewhere here 
 among the emigrants, I believe, at the present moment, and 
 you could ask him all about it if you liked. The brethren 
 assure him that Brother Brigham is so liberal that he will get 
 vastly more than the value of his thirty thousand dollars when 
 he reaches Zion, and I hope he will, for I like both him and 
 his wife." 
 
 All this was thus far true, but it was with some misgivings 
 that I heard Mary talk about it. Still 1 tried to persuade 
 myself that it was a sin to doubt. How little did either of us 
 imagine that after poor Mr. Tenant's miserable death upon 
 the Plains we should live to see his wife — destitute and 
 defrauded of her property by generous-hearted Brigham — 
 dragging out a miserable existence in Zion, and dependent 
 even for a crust of bread upon the kindness of the 
 brethren. And yet, as I have previously stated, this avus 
 how the Prophet, under the mask of liberality, contrived, for 
 his own purposes, to cheat this unfortunate and too-confiding 
 Saint. 
 
 Then we talked of what more nearly interested ourselves, 
 and Mary asked me when Mr. Stenhouse and myself were 
 coming out. I told her that it was quite uncertain, but that 
 we expected to before long. " At any rate you will come out 
 before the season is over ? " she said. 
 
 " Most likely so," I replied ; " but you will be safely there 
 and settled before we arrive." 
 
 How little did she imagine the fearful Bcenes she was to 
 witness — the terrible sufferings she wa^ to endure — before the 
 season she spoke of had passed away. Could I at that time 
 have known all, I would have prayed that sooner than set out 
 
120 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 on that fearful journey she might find refuge in the grave 
 from the horrors which, unknown to her, were brooding over 
 her way. 
 
 We talked long, and then my husband joined us — Elder 
 Shrewsbury was called away by some necessary duty — and 
 when we parted it was with many promises to write frequently 
 to each other of our common religious interests, as well as the 
 welfare of ourselves and those we loved. Then I spoke with 
 several other* old friends, and we exchanged greetings with all 
 sorts of people, for my husband wherever he goes is always 
 sure to be upon speaking terms with almost everybody he 
 meets. 
 
 The Hand-Cart Company left New York for Utah — a long 
 and formidable journey at best — but in that instance, through 
 mismanagement and neglect, one of the most fatal expeditions 
 that imprudent man has ever undertaken ; and it was not 
 until months and months had passed away, and another 
 season had come round, that we heard anything of their fate. 
 
 And time went on, but my troubles did not lighten. My 
 husband still continued to work at the Mormon office, and 
 after a while his salary was slightly increased from time to 
 time ; but still his earnings were altogether inadequate for the 
 support of a family, and I found it absolutely necessary to 
 obtain some employment for myself. It cost me many a long 
 and weary day of search and inquiry, and many a battife with 
 my pride, before I could get anything to do ; but at last"! was 
 successful, and although my little ones required constant 
 attention, I contrived to add a very decent quota to the 
 scanty family purse. 
 
 And thus matters continued until the following year — our 
 life of uncertainty and care unchanged. Little in my life at 
 that time is worth recording : to me it was one long, painful 
 struggle, and any change which could come I felt must be 
 for the better. My experience of Mormouism was of course 
 enlarged as new facts presented themselves. to my observation, 
 and by nothing was my faith so much shaken as by the dis- 
 crepancies between the written and spoken Mormouism which 
 was presented with fair face to the European Saints and the 
 world at large, and the actual conduct of the Elders. 
 
 From the first moment when Polygamy was announced, 
 the leaders had strictly forbidden the missionaries to enter 
 into any alliances with the sisters abroad, or to make any 
 proposals of marriage to them, or to enter into any matri- 
 monial covenants. Jn the language of Heber C. Kimball — 
 
Saintly Pilgrims on the Way. 12 1 
 
 Brigham's first counsellor — they were " not to pick out from 
 the flock the young, fair, and tender lambs," but were to 
 bring them all safely home to Zion. 
 
 This counsel was all very well, for it tended to keep the 
 Elders out of mischief, and afforded an opportunity to the 
 brethren at home to select more and more youthful wives 
 from the fair converts who were gathered in to Zion. But 
 the missionaries found it very irksome to obey this counsel, and 
 in point of fact those who did so formed a very small minority. 
 
 One of the missionaries who had just returned from Europe 
 came one day to our house in New York, and brought a 
 youthful sister with him. He was by no means a handsome 
 man or prepossessing in his appearance, but I saw at once 
 that he had succeeded in obtaining considerable influence 
 over the young sister's mind. He said she was not very 
 happy, and he wanted her to stay with some respectable 
 family for a week or two until they set out for Utah, and I 
 agreed that she should stay with us. 
 
 She began to play with the children, and took one of them 
 in her arms in a way which attracted my attention, for I 
 noticed that tears were in her eyes, and she excited my sym- 
 pathy. I asked her as gently and as delicately as I could 
 what was the matter with her, and what her sorrow was, and 
 she told me that she herself had two little ones at home and 
 was wretched at being parted from them. She had obeyed 
 counsel, and bad left her husband and a happy home to go to 
 Zion. She loved them all dearly ; but, deluded by false teach- 
 ings, and promises that she should soon have her children 
 again, she had stolen away and left them all. 
 
 I reasoned with her, tried to make her see how wrongly 
 she had acted, and persuaded her to return to her husband 
 and se'ek his forgiveness. But it was all in vain. The sal- 
 vation of her soul she thought was beyond all earthly con- 
 siderations ; she must stifle the suggestions of her heart 
 within her ; she must hasten to Zion. Thus she left me, and 
 like many another victim, I never expected to see her again. 
 
 One morning, a few months later, T was astonished to 
 receive a visit from her. After expressing my pleasure at 
 seeing her once more, she told me that what I said had so 
 impressed her that when the emigrants had arrived at St. 
 Louis she had refused to proceed any further on the journey, 
 had written to her husband, had made everything right with 
 him, and was now on her way back to her home in England. 
 
 My story is so full of painful reminiscences, that it is with 
 
122 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 pleasure that I record this incident — one of the rare cases 
 in which folly was not succeeded by utter ruin and misery. 
 Alas, how many instances I might mention, which fell 
 beneath my own personal observation, of wives and mothers 
 led away by the delusive doctrines which they mistook for 
 inspiration, and who sought vainly, through years of misery, 
 for peace and rest, until at length they found it in the dark- 
 ness of the touib. 
 
 Towards the end of the year 1857, the difficulties in Utah, 
 and a financial panic in New York, resulted in the discon- 
 tinuance of the Mormon. My husband was thus thrown out of 
 employment, and to add to our difficulties the people for whom 
 I worked suspended operations. This new trial of our faith, 
 however, was not long; out of apparent evil good came. 
 Released from his obligations to the Apostle and the Mormon 
 paper, my husband now set earnestly to work to obtain a 
 living without the crippling influences of " counsel " or the 
 dictates of those whom his religion taught him to respect. 
 
 I had always believed that if suffered to act for himself, his 
 energy was such that he would certainly carve his way to a 
 respectable position in the world. In this I was not deceived, 
 either at the time of which I speak or at a later period when, 
 in Salt Lake City, he engaged in active business on his own 
 account. In New York, where he had been, by this time, 
 appointed President of the Eastern Mission, and was actively 
 engaged in advocating the claims of the Mormon Church, he 
 sought and found employment on the staff of the Herald, and 
 in connexion with other daily papers ; and such was his suc- 
 cess, that from a condition of misery and poverty we were very 
 soon raised to a position of comfort, and surrounded by every 
 luxury suitable to our station in life ; and this position we 
 enjoyed until called upon to leave all and journey across the 
 Plains to Zion. *» 
 
 Our own journey to Zion was postponed for a while ; but 
 not long before we set forth, I received the long-expected 
 letter which Mary Burton had promised me ; and as it con- 
 tains a vivid picture of a mode of transit — the only mode 
 which could then be used — across the Plains, and shows what 
 people were forced to endure so recently as a few short years 
 ago, I shall give it in the following chapter ; for I feel sure 
 that if the reader did not peruse the story in the exact words of 
 my unfortunate friend, he never would believe that in this 
 country and in our own times such a terrible tragedy could 
 have been enacted. 
 
123 
 
 CHAPTER XIV. 
 
 A TERRIBLE STORY : — THE HAND-CART EMIGRANTS CROSSING 
 THE PLAINS. 
 
 " I promised to write and tell you all about our journey 
 across the Plains, but I little expected to have such a terrible 
 tale to tell. 
 
 " You have heard so much of the journey to Salt Lake 
 Valley that you know pretty well how we must have travelled 
 to Iowa City, where it was necessary that we should wait until 
 the whole company was quite ready for the long journey which 
 lay before us. 
 
 " Our life up to a certain point was much the same, and we 
 met with the same difficulties as all other emigrants who had 
 gone before us. But there the comparison ends. Privation, 
 and toil, and weariness, and not infrequently sickness and 
 death, wore out many of the companies that went hefore us, 
 but they never suffered as we did. It is utterly impossible 
 for me to tell you all that we went through. And when I 
 finish this letter and lay down my pen, and even when you 
 read the fearful story of my own experience during that jour- 
 ney, you will still have but the faintest idea of the horrors and 
 sufferings which we endured. 
 
 " At Iowa City we found nothing prepared for us. When 
 Ave left Liverpool we were told that hand-carts, provisions, and 
 all that we needed, should be provided before we arrived. If 
 this had been done we should have had just fairly time 
 enough to travel over the Plains and reach Salt Lake before 
 the terrible cold of winter set in. As it was, everything went 
 wrong. The Elders who had been sent out before us to buy 
 tents and carts and all that we wanted had either been 
 unfortunate or very careless, for, as I said, when we arrived 
 in Iowa City not the slightest preparation had been made. 
 
 " You know how strong my faith was when we left New 
 York, and how Brother Sbrewsbury and myself were ready to 
 saciilice everything. I can assure you that we were fully 
 
124 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 tested, and I do think that but for our strong faith not a 
 single soul of all that company would have survived that 
 journey. 
 
 " Three companies had, after a long delay, been sent out 
 before we reached Iowa City. As it was then early in the 
 season, they completed their journey before the cold of winter 
 set in. I afterwards heard that Brigham Young and the 
 Elders, when they saw those companies arrive safely in Salt 
 Lake City, spoke of the scheme as a successful experiment. 
 We had been taught that the scheme came directly from 
 heaven, and was neither speculation nor experiment, and when 
 I heard that, after all, the Prophet himself spoke of it as a 
 matter of doubtful issue, I asked myself — Whom, then, can we 
 believe ? 
 
 " We waited three weeks in Iowa Camp while they were 
 making the hand-carts. They were very lightly made, and 
 I think not at all suitable for such a long and wearisome jour- 
 ney ; and being so hastily put together, and most of the wood 
 unseasoned, they were utterly unfit for the rough work for 
 which they were constructed. Twenty of these carts — one to 
 every five — were allowed to every hundred persons, who were 
 also allowed five good-sized tents and one Chicago waggon, 
 with three yoke of oxen, to transport the baggage and pro- 
 visions. We were only allowed seventeen pounds of bedding 
 and clothing each, which, with cooking utensils, &c, made up 
 about one hundred pounds to each cart, and that was quite as 
 much as the cart (itself only sixty pounds in weight) could 
 carry. You can see, Sister Stenhouse, how difficult it must 
 have been out of every hundred persons — men, women, and 
 children — to find twenty who were strong enough to pull even 
 such frail things as those hand-carts were. The married men 
 and the young men and boys did the best they could, but they 
 could do no more, and some of the carts were drawn by young 
 girls alone. 
 
 " The girls and women who had no husbands used to oc- 
 cupy a tent by themselves at night ; but in the other tents, 
 whole families, without respect to age or sex, together with 
 the young men who assisted them during the day, used to 
 find shelter. This you will see at once was exceedingly in- 
 convenient; but we had no choice, and we had been so long 
 associated, and had suffered so much together, that we did not 
 feel it as much as Ave otherwise must have done. 
 
 " What weary days we spent ! Hour after hour went by, 
 mile after mile we walked, and never, never seemed to be a 
 
11 
 
 
A Terrible Story. 125 
 
 step the further on our way. Sometimes I recalled to mind a 
 hymn which we used to sing at Sunday School, when I was a 
 child — an evening hymn in which we returned thanks that we 
 were — 
 
 'A day's march nearer home/ 
 
 " But day after day went by — wearily, hopelessly — and 
 when each night came on, and, tired and footsore, we lay down 
 to rest, we seemed no nearer to our home in Zion. 
 
 " Do not think, Sister Stenhouse, that we gave way to 
 despondency. What we felt, God alone knows ; but our poor 
 weary hearts were full of confiding faith in Him, and we 
 placed undoubting confidence in the promises and prophecies 
 which we had received through His chosen servants. The 
 young folks were light-hearted and gay, and with all the 
 enthusiasm of youth they pressed on, thinking not of the way 
 but only of the end ; and their example was most encou- 
 raging. 
 
 "My husband was one of the bravest and truest of all that 
 band. He drew the cart which we shared with another Elder 
 and his wife and their grown-up daughter. They were old 
 people — I mean the Elder and his wife — and the daughter was 
 an old maid, unpleasant, thin, and sour, and too feeble to do 
 anything. There were reasons why I was excused from tak- 
 ing any share in hard work ; but I felt as zealous as the rest, 
 and day after day walked beside my husband, thinking that, 
 if nothing more, my companionship might cheer him. The 
 old folks walked behind, and so did the children; but sometimes, 
 when the little ones were very weary indeed, the parents 
 would place them on the top of the bedding in the hand-cart, 
 and give them a lift. But some of the elderly people who 
 were unused to walking far, and whom it was impossible to 
 carry, suffered a great deal ; and sometimes mothers with 
 children at their breasts would trudge on mile after mile in all 
 the heat and dust without a murmur or complaint, until they 
 almost dropped down with fatigue. What some of those poor 
 creatures suffered, no words could tell. 
 
 " The sun shone down upon us with intense heat as we 
 travelled through Iowa, and the people from the farm-houses 
 and villages came out to see us, and wondered at our rashness 
 in undertaking such a journey. They were very kind to us, 
 and came and visited us in our camps, and offered some of the 
 men work and good wages if they would stay there instead of 
 going on to Zion. A few of the people accepted these offers; 
 but the Elders, as you may suppose, watched carefully every 
 
126 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 company and every man ; and in the evening, when meetings 
 for prayer and preaching were held, we were earnestly exhorted 
 to obedience, and the sin of acting upon our own judgments 
 was set forth in the very plainest terms. The kindness of the 
 Iowa people, however, encouraged us, and they freely gave 
 to those who most needed whatever they could to help us on 
 our way. 
 
 " And we needed help and sympathy. 
 
 " Of course, with only one waggon to carry all the provisions 
 for a hundred persons, besides five tents, our supply of food 
 was very limited. At that period of the journey the grown- 
 up people were allowed ten ounces of flour a day and a little — 
 and but a very little — coffee, sugar, rice, and bacon. This 
 was a very scanty allowance for people who all day long had 
 to draw the hand-carts or to trudge mile after mile in all that 
 burning heat and dust — but we never complained. Some of 
 the men ate all their rations at breakfast, and went without 
 anything more until the next morning, unless they were able 
 to beg a little of some friendly farmer by the way. The little 
 children received just half as much as the others. With a 
 very small amount of management this inconvenience might 
 certainly have been avoided, for provisions of all sorts were 
 very cheap in the districts through which we passed. Some 
 of the more thoughtful saints, I know, felt very bitterly the 
 injustice of this; for, as you are aware, we had paid all our ex- 
 penses in full — even to the uttermost farthing; and we had 
 been promised in return a safe and sufficient outfit with plenty 
 of provisions, and in fact all that was necessary. Had we been 
 left to ourselves, we should of course have provided for every 
 contingency ; but we came in obedience to counsel under the 
 direction of the Church, and after we had paid for everything; 
 the Church even ' took care ' of our money, so that we there- 
 fore could not procure necessaries by the way, as otherwise 
 we might have done. 
 
 " Thus wearily, and suffering not a little privation, we 
 travelled all through Iowa, until we came to the Missouri 
 river and encamped at Florence, a place about six miles north 
 of Omaha, and there we i"emained about a week, preparing for 
 our journey across the Plains. 
 
 " It was the middle of August when we arrived at Florence, 
 and we had been delayed so much on the way that it appeared 
 to many of the more experienced that it would now be the 
 height of imprudence for us to cross the Plains at that season. 
 With old people, delicate women, and little children, and with- 
 
A Terrible Story. 127 
 
 out carriages of any sort — except the frail hand-carts that 
 carried our bedding — it would be a weary, long time, before we 
 could reach Salt Lake. Every step must be trudged on foot, 
 and it was quite impossible that we could walk many miles a 
 day, while there was before us a journey of over a thousand. 
 Some of the Elders proposed that we should settle where 
 we were, or somewhere near by, until the following spring, 
 and then go on to Zion ; but others who were more confident 
 urged that we should proceed at once. The Elders called a 
 great meeting to settle the matter, at which we were all 
 present. 
 
 " I should tell you that when we first started our whole 
 company was placed under the guidance of Elder James G. 
 Willie as captain ; and we were again subdivided into five 
 parties of about one hundred each, and over every hundred 
 was placed an Elder or sub-captain. The first hundred was 
 headed by Elder Atwood, the second by Levi Savage, the 
 third by William Woodward, the fourth by John Chislett, and 
 the fifth by Elder Ahmensen. About two hundred of the 
 people were Scotch and Scandinavians ; nearly all the rest 
 were English. All were assembled at the meeting. You 
 know, Sister Stenhouse, how meetings were held at home. 
 Well, it was just the same there. We, of course, had nothing 
 really to say — we had only to obey counsel and sanction the 
 decision of the leading Elders. I used to feel annoyed rather 
 at that sort of thing in London, as you may remember ; but 
 now, when life and death depended upon the wisdom of our 
 decision, with all my faith, I felt Avorse than annoyed, wicked 
 as I have no doubt it was for me to feel so. My husband 
 never uttered a word, but I know he felt much as I did, and 
 in that he was not alone among the Elders. 
 
 " We had neither vote nor influence — the Elders held our 
 destiny in their hands. In all our company there were only 
 three or four men who had been out to Salt Lake before, and 
 of course they could not be overlooked, so they gave their 
 opinion at the meeting. They must have fully known the 
 dangers and difficulties of the way, and what hardships mvst 
 overtake a company so scantily provided for as was ours, if 
 we continued our journey. But, for all that, they not only 
 spoke slightingly of the danger which threatened us, but 
 prophesied, in the name of the Lord, that we should pass 
 through triumphantly and suffer neither loss nor harm. 
 
 " One man alone — Levi Savage — dared to tell the truth. 
 People well-mounted, or even 'with good ox-teams, could safely 
 
128 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 and easily make the journey, he said ; but for a band of people 
 like ourselves, with aged folks, and women, and little children, 
 to attempt it so late was little short of madness. He strongly 
 urged that we should take up our quarters there for tbe 
 Winter, when, he said, as soon as spring came on, we could 
 safely and successfully perform the remainder of our journey. 
 
 " The other Elders thought that he was weak in the faith, 
 and plainly told him so ; and one of them even said, ' he'd eat 
 all the snow that fell between Florence and Salt Lake City.' 
 The people, of course, believed without question what they 
 were told to believe, for they had long ago made up their 
 minds that the leaders were inspired, and therefore they dared 
 not doubt them, and the prudent counsel of Brother Savage 
 was rejected accordingly. I was not near enough to hear his 
 words, but I was afterwards told that he said, ' What I have 
 said, I know is the truth ; but as you are counselled to go for- 
 ward, I will go with you ; I will work, and rest, and suffer 
 with you; and, if God wills it so, I will also die with you.' 
 Never was man more faithful to his word than was Brother 
 Savage, and often after that, when sickness, and weariness, 
 and cold, and hunger, and death, overtook us — as he had fore- 
 seen — he never for one moment forgot the promise which he 
 had so solemnly made. 
 
 " Then — the middle of August being passed — we left Flor- 
 ence behind us, and began our weary journey across the 
 Plains in much the same fashion as we had already travelled 
 through Iowa. We had, however, taken fresh provisions to 
 last us until we reached Utah, and as the oxen could not 
 draw so much extra weight, one sack, weighing about a hun- 
 dred pounds, was placed on each of the hand-carts, in 
 addition to the other baggage. This was a severe tax upon 
 the endurance of the people, but most of them bore it without 
 a murmur. On the other hand, we fared a little better in 
 the matter of provisions, for we were allowed a pound of flour 
 a day each, and also, occasionally, a little fresh beef, and 
 besides that each hundred had three or four milch cows. As 
 we continued our journey, and the provisions were consumed, 
 the burdens on the carts, of course, grew lighter. 
 
 " But this was only the beginning of our pilgrimage ; — 
 the end we could not foresee. Every evening, when we pitched 
 our tents, we endeavoured — by songs, and jests, and interesting 
 stories — to beguile the tediousness of the way. The days wei'e 
 not quite so warm now, and the nights were more chilly ; 
 but altogether, it was much more pleasant travelling than 
 
A Terrible Story. 129 
 
 it was in the earlier part of the journey, and no one seemed 
 to remember the almost prophetic remonstrance of Brother 
 Savage. 
 
 " Still we travelled very slowly, for the carts were always 
 breaking down ; the wheels came off, and we had nothing to 
 grease them with. The boxes of the wheels were made of 
 unseasoned wood, and the heavy pressure upon them, and the 
 dust that got into them, soon wore them out. Some of the 
 people cut off the tops of their boots and wrapped them 
 round the axles, and others cut up their tin plates and kettles 
 for the same purpose ; and for grease they used soap, and even 
 their pitiful allowance of bacon. But as the days passed, and 
 the flour began to be used up, these accidents became less 
 frequent. 
 
 " Upon an average, they said, we travelled about fifteen 
 miles a day, which I think was very good. Some few days 
 we even made a little over twenty miles, but they were 
 balanced by the shortcomings. We tried to feel happy and 
 hopeful, and even the aged and infirm tried to make light of 
 their toil and privations, for we did not see that heavy cloud 
 which was looming across our way. I frequently talked with 
 the old and weakly among the people, to whom both my hus- 
 band and myself were able to offer little kindnesses, and they 
 all spoke cheerfully of our prospects. Such faith had they in 
 the promises of the Elders. 
 
 "Just before we reached Wood river, vast herds of buf- 
 faloes appeared in our vicinity, and one evening all our cattle 
 stampeded, and the men had to go in search of them. About 
 thirty were lost, and after hunting after them for three days, 
 we gave them up. We had only one yoke of oxen now for 
 each waggon, aud as the waggons were loaded each with three 
 thousand pounds of flower, the teams could not move them. 
 So they yoked up the beef-cattle, and cows, and heifers, but 
 they were unmanageable ; and at last we were obliged again 
 to place a sack of flower upon each hand-cart. 
 
 " This sorely tried us all. Some of the people even com- 
 plained, but the greater part of us bore up bravely, believing 
 that it was the will of the Lord. We still had faith that all 
 vould yet be well. This was, however, a hard blow. Our 
 milch cows were useless to us, our beef-rations were stopped, 
 and the burdens which we drew were doubled. Every one did 
 his or her best, but many of us began to be disheartened, and 
 could hardly get along. 
 
 " One evening there w r as quite a commotion in the camp. 
 
 K 
 
130 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 We had pitched our tents for the night on the banks of the 
 Platte river, I think, when suddenly quite a grand turn-out of 
 carriages and light waggons came up from the east and joined 
 us. Each carriage was drawn by four horses, and the outfits 
 were in first-class style. Nothing could be too good for 
 Apostles and other ' distinguished ' servants of the Lord, I 
 was anxious to know who they were, but was not long in 
 finding out. There was the Apostle Franklin Richards, and 
 Elders Webb and Felt, and Joseph A. Young, the son of the 
 Prophet, and Elders Dunbar, and Kimball, and Grant — all 
 returning Missionaries. They stayed with us all night, and 
 in the morning called a great meeting, and the Apostle Richards 
 delivered a speech, which since has troubled me not a little, 
 and made me very sorrowful. 
 
 " He had heard of what Brother Savage had said, and then 
 and there, before us all, he rebuked him. He then exhorted 
 us to remember the hope set before us, and told us to pray 
 and work on, and especially to be obedient to counsel ; and 
 he finished by solemnly prophesying, in the name of the God 
 of Israel, that the Almighty would make a way for us to Zion; 
 and that though the snow might fall and the storm rage on 
 the right hand and on the left, not a hair of our heads should 
 be hurt. 
 
 " Some of the people wept with joy as they heard these 
 words. My own heart was full. To me, this was the voice 
 of inspiration — the voice of God — how could I doubt again ? 
 
 " Sister Stenhouse, before a month was over, I saw with 
 my own eyes that pi-ophecy, those promises, falsified to the 
 very letter ; and yet at the time they came to me and to all 
 else as the word of the Lord from heaven. Tell me, if men 
 can thus deceive themselves — for I do not doubt for a moment 
 that the Apostle believed his own prophecy — and if we could 
 be so sadly deluded as to 'believe that what was said was 
 divine — what surety have we for our religion at all ? I strive 
 against these sinful doubts, but they ivill sometimes creep into 
 my heart unbidden. 
 
 " The Apostle and the Elders with him told Captain Willie 
 that they wanted some fresh meat, and the Elders killed and 
 gave them of our very best. What could be denied to the 
 Servants of the Lord ? We were then more than four 
 hundred in number — aged men and feeble women, with babes 
 and poor little children too young to walk ; many of them 
 infirm and sick, all of them footsore and weary. We were far 
 away from home, travelling slowly hundreds and hundreds of 
 
A Terrible Story. 131 
 
 miles, worn out, and without sufficient provisions for the way, 
 or the remotest chance of obtaining any. And yet, oh God ! 
 I shame to tell it ; these servants of Heaven — our leaders, our 
 guides, our example — these chosen vessels who came to us, 
 riding comfortably and at ease in their well-appointed carriages, 
 took of our poverty — took the very best we had ! 
 
 " As they left the camp, I looked up into my husband's face, 
 and our eyes met. We said not a word, but in our hearts there 
 was the same thought. Sister Stenhouse, there must have 
 been that selfsame thought in the mind of many another poor 
 soul Avho watched those Elders depart after they had lectured 
 us on faith and patience and obedience ! 
 
 " They crossed the river pleasantly enough, and pointed 
 out the best fording-place, and then they watched us wade 
 through — the water there being nearly a mile in width, and 
 in some places two and even three feet in depth — and though 
 many of the heavy-laden carts were drawn by women and girls 
 they never so much as offered to lend us the aid of their hand- 
 some teams. One sister told me that they watched the poor 
 people crossing, through glasses, as if it were an entertainment ; 
 but I did not see that, and can hardly believe it was true. All 
 that they did, however, was to promise that when we reached 
 Laramie we should find provisions and bedding and other 
 necessaries ready for us, and that they would send help from 
 Salt Lake Valley to meet us." 
 
 K 2 
 
132 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 CHAPTER XV. 
 
 MART BURTON'S STORY CONTINUED : — TERRIBLE ENDING OP 
 THE HAND-CART SCHEME. 
 
 " It was early in September when we reached Laramie, but 
 we found nothing awaiting us there. We were all very much 
 discouraged at this, and Captain Willie called another meeting 
 for consultation. We knew of course, beforehand, that our 
 position was very bad ; but figures, when stated plainly, become 
 startling facts. We now learned that if we continued at the 
 same rate as that at which we had previously been travelling, 
 and received each the same allowance daily, we should be left 
 utterly destitute of provisions when we were yet three hundred 
 and fifty miles from the end of our journey. Nothing remained 
 but to reduce our allowance ; so, instead of one pound, we 
 were rationed at three-quarters of a pound a day, and at 
 the same time were forced to make incredible exertions to 
 travel faster. 
 
 " Not long after this, Captain Willie received a message 
 from the Apostle Richards. It is the custom, you know, for 
 people who want to send messages to emigrants who come after 
 them to write a note on a scrap of paper, and tie it to a stone 
 or a piece of wood, and leave it on the way. No one disturbs 
 it, as no one but the emigrants travel along that road, and 
 they are sure to find it. It was from a rough post-oflice like 
 this that Captain Willie got his letter. In it the Apostle told 
 him that we should receive supplies from Salt Lake when we 
 reached the South Pass ; but that we knew would be too late. 
 So our allowance was again reduced, and after that we were 
 rationed at an average of ten ounces f;r every person over ten 
 years of age. The men who drew the carts received twelve 
 ounces, the women and aged men nine ounces, and the chil- 
 dren from four to eight ounces according to age. Before this, 
 the men with families had done better than the single men, as 
 they had been able to save a little from the children's rations, 
 and of course they did not like this new arrangement so well. 
 
Mary Burton's Story continued. 133 
 
 "Picture to yourself these men — in the cool air of Septem- 
 ber, drawing after them each one a loaded cart, with one or 
 more children most frequently superadded to its weight, trudg- 
 ing wearily every day, ten, fifteen, or twenty miles over the 
 rough desert, wading across streams with the women and chil- 
 dren, setting up tents at night, working as they never worked 
 before in all their lives, and withal keeping soul and body 
 together upon twelve ounces of flour a day. This is but one 
 side of the picture — the physical toil and endurance of the 
 working men. Think what the feeble and aged, the sick, the 
 women and children, must have endured ! 
 
 '•' By this time many of those who had hitherto held out 
 bravely began to fail, and the people in general were greatly 
 discouraged. Captain Willie and the Elders who assisted 
 him did their best to keep up the spirits of the people, and 
 to get them over as much ground as they could each day, The 
 captains over the hundreds had also no little work to perform 
 in distributing provisions, helping the sick and infirm, and, 
 in fact, superintending everything. 
 
 " For some time the nights had been getting colder and 
 colder, and by the time we arrived at the Sweetwater river 
 we suffered considerably from that cause ; we felt that winter 
 was fast approaching. In fact, it came on earlier and more 
 severely last year than at any time before since the Saints 
 settled in Utah. Does it not seem strange that at the very 
 time when they were offering up special prayers for us in 
 Zion, that we might be defended from cold and storm, the 
 terrors of a more than ordinary winter overtook us and proved 
 fatal to so many of our company ? The mountains were 
 covered with snow; and it was soon quite evident, even to 
 those who had prophesied most loudly that the Lord would 
 work a special miracle in our behalf, that the storm-clouds of 
 winter would soon burst upon us. 
 
 " You have never seen the Sweetwater river, so I may as 
 well tell you that it is a very irregular stream, and we had to 
 cross it again and again upon our way. As usual we had to 
 wade through the water each time, and though the men 
 helped over the women and children as well as they could, 
 many of us got very wet indeed, and quite chilled, and we 
 were all cold and miserable. Still, our faith never gave way 
 — some, I know, began to doubt a little, but they had not yet 
 lost all faith, and discouraged and wretched, as indeed we 
 were, the greater number bore up with heroic resolution. I 
 noticed, however, on the faces of some poor souls — men and 
 
134 -An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 women — a peculiar expression which it is quite impossible for 
 me to describe. Later on I was led to believe that at that 
 time they, perhaps unconsciously, felt the presentiment of that 
 fearful death which so soon overtook them. 
 
 " We suffered much at night. You may remember that I 
 told you we were only allowed seventeen pounds of clothing 
 and bedding, and that, of course, was of little use. Sleeping 
 in a tent, under any circumstances, is not generally pleasant 
 to those who are accustomed to the shelter of a house ; but 
 sleeping in a tent, exposed to the keen night air of a wilder- 
 ness, and with scarcely a rag of covering, was almost suffi- 
 cient to prove fatal to the stoutest and strongest. During 
 the summer time, although our fare was scanty and our labour 
 incessant, we rose each morning refreshed and strengthened, 
 and ready for the toils of the day. But now we crept out of 
 our tents cramped and miserable, half-frozen, and with our 
 eyes red and tearful with the cold. We seemed to have no 
 life left in us. 
 
 " These things soon began to tell upon the health of every 
 one of us, especially upon the aged and those who were sickly. 
 Hope at last died out in their poor weary hearts. One by 
 one they fell off — utterly worn out. Poor things ! how they 
 had longed to see the promised Zion, and now all expectation 
 of peaceful rest on earth was over — the bitter end had come. 
 
 " We dug graves for them by the wayside in the desert, and 
 there we laid them with many tears, scarcely daring to look 
 one another in the face, for we felt that our own time might 
 perhaps be nearer than we thought. 
 
 " One by one at first they fell off, but before long the 
 deaths became so frequent that it was seldom that we left a 
 camp-ground without burying one or more. This was, how- 
 ever, only the beginning of evil. 
 
 " Soon it was no longer the aged and sickly who were 
 taken off, but the young and strong, who under other circum- 
 stances would have set disease and death at defiance. Cold, 
 hunger, and excessive toil brought on dysentery ; and when 
 once attacked by that there was little hope for the sufferer, 
 for we had no medicine, and it was quite out of our power to 
 give them relief in any other way. I now began to fear for 
 my husband, for I had noticed for some time an expression of 
 extreme weariness in his face. Our trials had not hardened 
 our hearts ; on the contrary, I think, as death seemed to be 
 drawing near, our affection for each other grew more pure and 
 devoted, and in my heart I often prayed, that if it were His 
 
Mary Burton's Story continued. 135 
 
 will, God would let us die together and rest in the same 
 grave. Wo never spoke a word to each other on this subject, 
 but we felt the more. I exerted all my strength, and day 
 after day toiled along at his side, helping him all I could ; 
 but although he never complained, I saw in his eyes a dull 
 and heavy look which, more than any words, told of failing 
 strength and the approach of disease, and my heart sank with- 
 in me. 
 
 " But my own troubles did not alone engross my attention ; 
 there was too much wretchedness around us to allow any one 
 to be absorbed entirely in his own griefs. Acts of devotion 
 on the part of both parents and children came before me daily 
 such as would have put to shame the stories of filial and 
 parental piety which we used to be taught at school. 
 
 " I saw one poor man, whose health had evidently never 
 been strong, draw the cart with his two little ones in it, as 
 well as the baggage, mile after mile, until he could hardly 
 drag his weary limbs a step further; his wife carried a little 
 five-months old baby in her bosom. This they did day after 
 day, until disease attacked the husband, and it was evident 
 that he could bear up no longer. The next morning I saw 
 him, pale as a corpse, bowed down, and shivering in every 
 limb, but still stumbling on as best he could. Before the day 
 was half over, the poor wife lagged behind with her babe, and 
 the husband did not seem to notice her. This was not the 
 result of heartlessness on his part ; I believe that even then 
 he had lost all consciousness. He did not know it, but he 
 was dying. Still he stumbled on, until the short wintry day 
 came to a close, and we pitched our camp, and then I missed 
 him. There was no time to inquire, and a chill came over 
 my heart as I thought of what might be his fate. Presently 
 my husband came to the tent and told me all. The poor man 
 had dragged the cart up to the last moment, and, when the 
 company halted for the night, he had turned aside, and sitting 
 down he bowed his head between his knees and never spoke 
 again. Later still, the poor wife reached the camp, and I saw 
 her then. There was no tear in her eye?, and she uttered 
 neither cry nor moan, but there was upon her features a 
 terrible expression of fixed despair which I dared not even 
 look upon. 
 
 " A few days after this, one morning as we were almost 
 ready to start, I saw that poor mother in her tent, just as they 
 had found her. She was cold and still — frozen to death — 
 her sorrows were over at last, and her poor weary spirit was 
 
136 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 at rest ; but on her bosom, still clasped in her arms, and 
 still living, was her little child, unconscious of its mother's 
 fate. 
 
 " Most of those who died, as far as I could tell, seemed to 
 pass away quietly and with little pain, as if every feeling of 
 the heart were numbed and dead. But my own sufferings 
 and fears at that time were so great that I could not be a 
 very close observer. Strange as it may seem, the fear of 
 death did not so much appear to terrify these poor victims 
 as the thought that their bodies would be buried by the way- 
 side in the desert, instead of in the sacred ground of Zion. 
 Poor souls ! the absorbing passion of their life was strong in 
 death. 
 
 " As death thinned our ranks, the labours of those who 
 survived were increased, until at last there were hardly 
 enough left with strength sufficient to pitch our tents at 
 night. A great deal devolved upon the captain of our 
 hundred, Elder Chislett. He is a very good man, and a 
 devoted Saint ; and I am glad to say that both he and a lady 
 to whom he was betrothed, and who was also with our com- 
 pany, escaped with their lives. I have often seen him, when 
 we stopped for the night, carrying the sick and feeble on his 
 back from the waggon to the fire, and then working harder 
 than a slave would work in putting things straight for the 
 night. He showed a great many kindnesses to my husband 
 and myself. 
 
 " But individual efforts availed nothing against fatigue and 
 hunger, and the fearful cold. To the minds of all of us, the 
 end was fast approaching. Nothing but our faith sustained 
 us ; and foolish as many people would think that faith, I am 
 quite sure, that but for it, no living soul of all our company 
 would have ever reached Salt Lake. 
 
 " At last the storm came, and the snow fell — I think it 
 must have been at least five or six inches deep within half an 
 hour. The wind was very keen and cutting, and it drifted 
 the snow right into our faces ; and thus blinded by the storm, 
 and scarcely able to stand, we stumbled on that day for fully 
 sixteen miles. What we suffered it would be useless for me 
 to attempt to describe. Some of the scenes Ave witnessed were 
 heartrending. 
 
 " There was a young girl, with whom I was very well 
 acquainted, and whom I saw struggling in the snow, clinging to 
 one of the hand-carts, and vainly trying to help in pushing it 
 on, but really doing just the contrary. She is now in Salt 
 
Mary Burtoris Stoty continued. 1 37 
 
 Lake City, a helpless cripple, her limbs downwards having 
 been frozen during that storm, and subsequently amputated. 
 A poor old woman, too, whom I tbink you must bave known in 
 London, lingered behind later in the day. When night came 
 on it was impossible for any one to go hack to search for her, 
 but, in tbe morning, not very far from the camp, some torn 
 rags — the remains of her dress — were found, a few bones, a 
 quantity of hair, and at a little distance a female skull, well 
 gnawed, and with the marks of the wolf-fangs still wet upon 
 it ; — the snow all round was crimsoned with blood. 
 
 " We halted for a little while in the middle of that day, and 
 to our surprise and joy, Joseph A. Young and Elder Stephen 
 Taylor drove into the camp. We found that when the 
 returning missionaries, of whom I have already told you, left 
 us by the Platte river, they made their way as speedily as 
 they could to Salt Lake City. Joseph A., who felt deeply for 
 our sufferings, although he had been away from home for two 
 whole years, hastened to his father, and reported to him the 
 condition in which we were. Brigham Yonng was of course 
 anxious to undo the mischief which had resulted from the 
 people following his inspired counsel, and at his son's earnest 
 entreaty allowed him to return with provisions and clothing 
 to meet us. Joseph A. lost no time, but pressed on to the 
 rescue, and having told us that assistance was on the way, 
 hastened eastward to meet the company that was following 
 us. 
 
 " I cannot tell you what a relief this intelligence was to the 
 minds of all, and how much the poor people felt encouraged 
 by it. But as for me, at that time my heart was sad enough. 
 For some time my husband's strength had evidently been 
 failing, and for the last two days I had felt very serious 
 apprehensions on his behalf. He had been overtasked, and 
 like the rest of us he was starving with cold and hunger, and 
 I saw that he could not hold out much longer. My worst 
 fears were speedily realized. We had not journeyed half a 
 mile from the place where we rested at noon, whenj blinded 
 by the snow, and completely broken down, ho dropped the 
 rail of the cart, and I saw that he could go no further. How 
 I felt, you, as a wife and mother, only can guess. In a 
 moment my own weakness was forgotten ; my love for my 
 husband made me strong again. To leave him there or to 
 delay would have been death to one if not all of us. So I 
 called to those who shared the cart with us, and they helped 
 me as well as they could to lift my husband up, and put him 
 
138 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 under part of the bedding. It was the only chance of saving 
 his life; for, as I before mentioned, some, previous to this, who 
 had been overcome, and had lingered by the way, had been 
 frozen to death or devoured by the wolves. 
 
 " I then took hold of the cross-bar or handle of the cart, 
 and numbed with the cold, and trembling in every limb, it 
 was as much as I could do to raise it from the ground. To move 
 the cart was impossible, so I appealed to the old folks again, 
 and they exerted all their strength to push it from behind, and 
 our combined efforts at length succeeded ; but the chief weight 
 fell upon me. How gladly I bore it ; how gladly I would 
 have borne anything for the mere chance of saving my dear 
 husband's life, your own heart can tell. 
 
 " The snow drifted wildly around us, and beat in our faces 
 so blindingly that we could hardly proceed. The greater part 
 of the train had passed on while we delayed on account of my 
 husband, and now every one was making the most desperate 
 efforts to keep up with the rest ; to be left behind was death. 
 Had I been asked whether under any circumstances I could 
 have dragged that heavy cart along in all that storm, I should 
 certainly have replied that it would be utterly impossible ; but 
 until we are tried we do not know what we can bear. It was 
 not until the night came on, and Ave pitched our tents, that I 
 realized what I had passed through. 
 
 " They helped me to carry my husband to the tent, and 
 there we laid him, and I tried to make him as easy as was 
 possible under the circumstances, but comfort or rest was 
 altogether out of the question. All that night I sat beside 
 him, sometimes watching, sometimes falling into a fitful sleep. 
 I did not believe that he would live through the night. In 
 the morning he was by uo means improved, and then I felt 
 too truly the abject misery of our position. It is a painful 
 thing to watch at the bedside of those we love when hope for 
 their recovery is gone; but think what it must be to sit upon 
 the cold earth in the tent, upon the open desert, with the 
 piercing wind of winter penetrating to the very bones, and there 
 before you, the dear one — your life, your all on earth — dying, 
 and you without a drop of medicine, or even a morsel of the 
 coarsest nourishment, to give him. Oh, the bitterness of my 
 soul at that moment ! I tried to pray, but my heart was full 
 of cursing ; it seemed to me as if even God Himself had for- 
 gotten us. The fearful misery of that dark hour has left on 
 my soid itself a record as ineffaceable as the imprint of a burn- 
 ing iron upon the flesh. 
 
Mary Bar tori s Story con tinned. 139 
 
 " The morning broke at last, dark and dreary, and a thick 
 heavy mantle of snow covered all the camp; but we contrived 
 to communicate with each other, and soon it was whispered 
 that five poor creatures had been found dead in the tents. 
 Want, and weariness, and the bitter cold, had done their work, 
 and Ave did not weep for them — they were at rest ; but for 
 ourselves we wept that we were left behind — and we looked 
 at one another, wistfully, wondering which of us would be 
 taken next. 
 
 We buried those five poor frozen corpses in one grave, 
 wrapped in the clothing in which they died, and then we com- 
 forted each other as best we might, and left the dead who 
 were now beyond our reach, that we might do what we could 
 for those wdio were fast following them to the grave. A 
 meeting of the leaders was held, and it was resolved that we 
 should remain where Ave were until the pi-omised supplies 
 reached us. We could not, in fact, do otherAvise, for the snow 
 was so deep that it was impossible for us to proceed, and the 
 sick and dying demanded immediate attention. That morn- 
 ing, for the first time, no flour was distributed — there was 
 none. All that remained, besides our miserable cattle, was a 
 small quantity of hard biscuit which Captain Willie bought at 
 Laramie, and a few pounds of rice and dried apples. Nearly 
 all the biscuit was at once divided among the whole company, 
 and the few pounds which remained, together with the rice and 
 apples, were giA^en to Elder Chislett for the use of the sick 
 and the very little children. They also killed two of the 
 cattle and divided the beef. Most of the people got through 
 their miserable alloAvance that A T ery morning, and then they 
 had to fast. 
 
 " Captain Willie set out that morning Avith another Elder to 
 meet the coming supplies and hasten them on, and as Ave saw 
 them disappear iu the distant Avest we almost felt as if our 
 last hope departed Avith them, so many chances there Avere that 
 we should ndver see them again. 
 
 " The whole of that long, long day I sat beside my husband 
 in the tent — and I might almost say I did no more. There 
 Avas nothing that I could do. The little bedding that Avas 
 alloAved.for both of us I made up into a couch for him ; but 
 AA'hat a Avretchcd makeshift it was ! And I got from Elder 
 Chislett a feAv of the dried apples Avhich had been reserved for 
 the sick ; but it was not until nightfall that my husband was 
 capable of SAvalloAviug anything — and then, Avhat nourishment 
 to give to a sick man ! The day Avas freezing cold, and I 
 
140 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 had hardly anything on me, and had eaten nothing since the 
 day before ; for my mind was so agitated that I do not think 
 the most delicate food would have tempted me. God alone 
 knows the bitterness of my heart as I sat there during all that 
 weary day. I never expected to see my husband open his 
 eyes again, and I thought that when evening came I would 
 He down beside him, and we would take our last long sleep on 
 earth together. 
 
 " When night came on and all was dark I still sat there ; I 
 dreaded to move lest I should learn the terrible truth — my 
 husband dead ! I looked towards the place where I knew he 
 was lying, but I could see nothing. I listened, and I fancied 
 that I heard a gentle breathing — but it was only fancy. Then, 
 louder than the incessant moaning of the wind, I could hear in 
 the distance a fearful cry — a cry which had often chilled our 
 hearts at midnight on the plains — it was the wolves ! The 
 darkness grew darker still — so thick that one could almost 
 feel it ; the horror of death seemed stealing over all my senses. 
 Oh that there might be one long eternal night to blot out for 
 ever our miseries and our existence. I threw my hands 
 wildly above me, and cried bitterly, ' Oh God, my God, let me 
 die ! ' 
 
 " God was nearer to me than I thought. As my hand dropped 
 lifelessly to the ground it touched some moving thing — it was 
 my husband's hand — the same hand which I had watched in 
 the twilight, stiffening, as I thought, in death. The long, thin 
 fingers grasped my own, and though they were very, very cold, 
 I felt that life was in them ; and as I stooped down to kiss 
 them I heard my husband's voice, very weak and feeble, say- 
 ing in a whisper, ' Mary.' I threw myself upon his bosom. 
 In a moment the fear of death — the longing for death — the 
 wild and terrible thoughts, all had gone ; the sound of that 
 voice was life to me, and forgetful of his weakness, forgetful of 
 everything but him, I threw myself upon his bosom and wept 
 tears of joy. 
 
 " Very carefully and gently I raised him up, and, in the 
 darkness, every whispered word conveyed more meaning to 
 my mind than all his eloquence in by-gone times. After some 
 time I persuaded him to take a little nourishment — miserable 
 stuff that it was — and presently he fell asleep again. 1 laid his 
 dear head upon the best pillow that I could make of some of 
 my own clothes, and then I slept a little myself — not much, 
 but it was more refreshing than any sleep that had visited my 
 eyes for a loug time past — hope had come again. 
 
Mary Burton's Story continued. 141 
 
 " The next morning my husband was evidently better, and 
 I knelt down beside him and thanked God for the miracle that 
 He had wrought ; for was it not a miracle thus to raise my dead 
 to life again ? How many stronger, stouter men than he had 
 I seen fall sick and die ; but to me God had shown mercy in 
 my utmost need. 
 
 " We waited three long days for the return of Captain 
 Willie. My heart was so full of thankfulness that my husband 
 had been spared that I certainly did not feel so acutely the 
 misery with which I was surrounded as I otherwise should 
 have done ; I was like the prisoner who feels happy in a re- 
 prieve from death, but whose situation is nevertheless such as 
 would appear to any other person the most wretched in which 
 he could be placed. The misery that was suffered in that 
 camp was beyond the power of words to describe. On the 
 second day they gave us some more beef-rations, but they did 
 us little good. The beef was, of course, of the poorest, and, 
 eaten alone, it did not seem to satisfy hunger, and those who 
 were prostrated by dysentery, although they ate it ravenously, 
 suffered much in consequence afterwards. 
 
 " The number of the sick rapidly increased, and not a few 
 died from exhaustion ; and really those seemed happiest who 
 were thus taken from the horrors which surrounded them. 
 Had it not been for the intense frost, we should all probably 
 have fallen victims to the intolerable atmosphere of the camp. 
 I would not even allow my mind to recall some of the scenes 
 which I witnessed at that time : scenes, the disgusting and 
 filthy horrors of which no decent words could describe. 
 When you consider the frightful condition in which we were, 
 the hunger and cold which we endured, you may perhaps be 
 able in a small degree to conjecture — as far as a person can 
 conjecture who has not himself suffered such things — what we 
 then passed through. I saw poor miserable creatures, utterly 
 worn out, dying in the arms of other forlorn and hopeless 
 creatures as wretched as themselves ; I saw strong and honest, 
 honourable men, or who had once been such, begging of the 
 captain for the miserable scraps which had been saved for the 
 sick and the helpless children ; I saw poor heart-broken 
 mothers freezing to death, but clasping as they died, in an 
 agony of loving woe, the torn and wi'etched remnants of cloth- 
 ing which they still retained, around the emaciated forms of 
 their innocent babes — the mother-instinct strong in death ; 
 and sometimes at night when, all unbidden, I see again in 
 dreams the awful sufferings of those poor God-forsaken 
 
142 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 wretches, I start in horror and pray the Almighty rather 
 to blot out from my mind the memory of all the past, than to 
 let me ever recollect, if but in fancy, that fearful time. 
 
 " The third day came, and still no relief. There are mys- 
 terious powers of endurance in human nature, weak as we often 
 deem it, but there is a point beyond which the bow, however 
 flexible, will not bend. It was evident that if no help arrived 
 speedily, the end was not far off. 
 
 " The sun was sinking behind the distant western hills, in 
 all the glory of the clear frosty atmosphere of the desert, and 
 many who gazed upon its beauty did so with a mournful interest, 
 believing that they would never again behold the light of day. 
 But at that moment some who were anxiously watching with 
 a last hope — watching for what they hardly dared expect to see 
 — raised a shout of joy. We knew what it was ! Men, women, 
 and children rushed from their tents to welcome the approach- 
 ing waggons and our friends in time of need. Captain Willie 
 and the other Elder had found the rescue from Salt Lake over- 
 taken by the storm just as we were, but he had told them of our 
 terrible situation, and they bad hastened on without a moment's 
 delay. It was he and they, convoying good supplies, who now 
 approached us. The poor creatures shouted wildly for joy ; 
 even the strong men shed tears ; and the sisters, overcome with 
 the sudden change from death to life, flung themselves into the 
 arms of the brethren as they came into the camp and covered 
 them with kisses. Such happiness you never saw — every one 
 shaking hands and speaking joyfully — every one saying ' God 
 bless you ' with a meaning such as is seldom attached to those 
 words. 
 
 " The supplies were to us more than food and clothing — 
 they were life itself. Elder John Chislett was appointed to 
 distribute the provisions and clothing, and everything was 
 placed in his hands. He gave out to us all that was imme- 
 diately necessaiy, but strongly cautioned us to be very moderate 
 in what we ate, as it was dangerous to go from the extreme of 
 fasting to a full meal. After supper the clothing and bedding 
 was fairly divided, and we felt more thankful for those little 
 comforts than a person, who had never endured as we had, 
 would have felt had he become suddenly the recipient of 
 boundless luxury. 
 
 " Two of the Elders who had held forth such delusive hopes 
 to the company, not long before, as I have already told you, 
 were with the brethren who came to our relief. I have never 
 ventured to ask how it was that they could hold out to us in 
 God's name such promises, when they must have known after 
 
Mary Burton's Story continued. 143 
 
 a moment's reflection, that they were utterly baseless ; but I 
 think that probably they left their comfortable homes in Salt 
 Lake City and came across the stormy desert with supplies to 
 meet us, only to show practically how anxious they wore to 
 atone for having led us astray. Next morning Elder Grant went 
 on east to meet the company following us, but Elder W. II. 
 Kimball took command of our company for the rest of the way. 
 
 " We could now journey but very slowly, for the road was 
 bad ; the sick and weakly were, however, able to ride, and 
 altogether Ave suffered less. To some this change for the better 
 arrived too late — the mental and physical sufferings which they 
 had endured were too much for them. Poor souls ! they alone 
 and their Father in heaven knew tvhat they had passed through. 
 They seemed to have lost all consciousness, as if their faculties 
 had been numbed and stultified. We talked to them of the 
 past, but they looked at us with unmeaning eyes, as if we 
 spoke of something in which they had no interest ; we tried 
 to lead their thoughts to Zion, and the promises of the Lord ; 
 but it was all in vain. They turned from us with a look of 
 terrible apathy ; and one or two, who partly seemed to under- 
 stand, only replied with an indifference painful to witness — 
 ' Too late, too late ! ' 
 
 " As Ave journeyed, the Aveather every day grew colder. 
 Many of the unfortunate people lost their fingers and toes, others 
 their ears ; one poor woman lost her sight, and I was told of a 
 poor sick man avIio held on to the Avaggon-bars to save himself 
 from jolting, and had all his fingers frozen off. FeA\ r , if any, of 
 the people recovered from the effects of that frost. One morn- 
 ing they found a poor old man who had A r aiuly tried the even- 
 ing before to keep up with the rest. His corpse AA'as not far 
 from the camp, but it had been sadly mangled by the Avolves. 
 Then there came another snow r -storm, only worse in proportion 
 as the weather was colder, and it Avas Avith the utmost difficulty 
 that we could be kept from freezing. We wrapped blankets 
 and anything else Ave could get around us, but the cold wind 
 penetrated to our very bones. I was told that some of the 
 people, even Avomen and children, avIio lagged behind, were 
 whipped so as to make them keep up, and to keep life in them. 
 I did not see this myself; but I believe, if the story AA'as true, 
 it Avas an act of mercy and not of cruelty, for to delay a moment 
 was fatal. The captain of our hundred more than once stayed 
 behind the company to bury some unfortunate person who died 
 on the road : hoAV he ever got up Avith us again I cannot tell, 
 but he seemed to be as indefatigable in his labours as he was 
 wonderfully preserved. 
 
144 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 " Sometimes the carts came to a dead stand-still, and several 
 had to be fastened together and drawn by a united effort, and 
 in more than one instance the poor people gave up altogether ; 
 — they wei*e carried on, while they lived, as well as we could ; 
 but their carts were abandoned. The stragglers came in slowly 
 to camp the night of the storm — the people from the Valley 
 even went back to fetch some in — and it was nearly six o'clock 
 in the morning before the last arrived. 
 
 " The next day we remained in camp, for there were so many 
 sick and dying that we could not proceed. Early in the morn- 
 ing Elder Chislett and three other Elders went round to see 
 who was dead, that they might be buried. They found in the 
 tents fifteen corpses — all stiff and frozen. Two more died 
 during the day. A large square hole was dug, and they were 
 buried in it three abreast, and then they were covered with 
 leaves and earth, every precaution being taken to keep them 
 from the wolves. Few of the relatives of those who were dead 
 came to the burial — they did not seem to care — death had 
 become familiar to them, and personal misery precluded sorrow 
 for the dead. 
 
 " As we drew nearer to Salt Lake Valley we met more of 
 the brethren coming to our assistance. They supplied us with 
 all we needed, and then hastened on to meet those who fol- 
 lowed us. The atmosphere seemed to become sensibly warmer, 
 and our sufferings were proportionately less as we approached 
 Zion. 
 
 " What the feelings of others might have been when they 
 first saw the goal of our hopes — Zion of our prayers and songs 
 — I cannot tell. Weary, oh so weary I felt, but thankful, 
 more than thankful, that my husband's life had been spared. 
 He was pale and sick, but he was with us still. 
 
 " I have written too much already, Sister Stenhouse. I 
 cannot tell you more now, but I may as well add that when 
 we left Iowa City we were about five hundred in all. Some 
 left us on the way. When we left Florence, and began the 
 journey across the Plains, we were over four hundred and 
 twenty, of which number we buried sixty-seven — a sixth of 
 the whole. The company which followed us, and to which I 
 have frequently alluded, fared worse than we. They num- 
 bered six hundred when they started, but they buried one 
 hundred and fifty on the journey — one in every four. May 
 God grant that I may never again see such a sight as was pre- 
 sented by the miserable remnant of that last company as they 
 came on slowly through the Canon towards Salt Lake Valley." 
 
145 
 
 CHAPTER XVI. 
 
 WE FORSAKE ALL, AND SET OUT FOR ZION : — OUR JOURNKY 
 ACROSS THE PLAINS. 
 
 It was with strange feelings of doubt and unrest that I read 
 that painful story ; but I folded up Mary Burton's letter and 
 stored it carefully away in my desk, and then I began to think. 
 
 Certainly I was still a Mormon — at least I was nothing else 
 — but I was not now so firmly grounded in my faith as once 
 I was, and these terrible stories completely unsettled my mind. 
 Then, too, I was well aware that, before long, my husband and 
 myself would be called upon to cross the Plains to Zion, and I 
 felt that if our experience were anything like that of Mary 
 Burton, I and my children would never reach Salt Lake. The 
 prospect was not very cheering. 
 
 One morning we were surprised to receive a visit from the 
 Apostle George Q. Cannon, who had come to take the place 
 of Mr. Stenhouse as President of the Mission in the Eastern 
 States, and we were now to prepare to travel with the next 
 company of emigrants. 
 
 To me this was most unpleasant intelligence. Polygamy — 
 the knowledge that before long I should be brought personally 
 within its degrading influence — had now for years been the 
 curse of my life, and I had welcomed every reprieve from im- 
 mediate contact with it in Utah. But the time had come at 
 last when I was to realize my worst apprehensions, and I think 
 at that time, had I been permitted to choose, I would have pre- 
 ferred to die rather than journey to Zion. Besides this, ever 
 since my husband had been engaged with the secular papers, 
 we had been getting along very comfortably. We had now a 
 pleasant home and many comforts and little luxuries which we 
 had not enjoyed since we left Switzerland, and I was beginning 
 to hope that we should be allowed to remain in New York for a 
 few years at least. We had also by this time six children — the 
 youngest only a few days old — and I leave it to any mother to 
 determine Avhether I had not good cause for vexation when I 
 
 L 
 
146 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 was told that we were expected to leave New York within 
 two weeks, with the emigrants who were then en route from 
 England. My husband also was to take charge of the com- 
 pany, and therefore everything would depend upon me — all the 
 prepai-ations for our long and perilous journey, the disposal of 
 our furniture, and, in fact, the thousand and one little necessary 
 duties which must attend the packing up and departure of a 
 family. 
 
 In the course of a few days the emigrants arrived, and then 
 my husband was compelled to devote all his time to them. 
 When I told the Elders that it was almost impossible for me, 
 in the delicate state of health ift which I was, and with a babe 
 only two weeks old, to undertake such a journey, they told 
 me that I had no faith in the power of God, and that if I 
 would arise and begin my preparations, the Lord would give 
 me strength according to my day. Thinking that probably my 
 husband believed as they did, I made the effort, but it cost me 
 much. In the Mormon Church the feelings or sufferings of 
 women are seldom considered. If an order is given to any man 
 to take a journey or perform any given task, his wife or wives 
 are not to be thought of. They are his property just as much 
 as his horses, mules, or oxen; and if one wife should die, it is 
 of little consequence if he has others, and if he has not he can 
 easily get them ; and if he is not young or fascinating enough 
 to win his way with the young ladies, he has only to keep on 
 good terms with Brigham Young, or even with his bishop, and 
 every difficulty will be smoothed away, and they will be " coun- 
 selled " to marry him. 
 
 It is never expected, nor would it be tolerated in any Mor- 
 mon woman, that she should exercise her own judgment in op- 
 position to her husband, no matter how much she might feel 
 that he was in the wrong : I have frequently seen intelligent 
 women subjected to the grossest tyranny on the part of ignorant 
 and fanatical husbands who were influenced by the absurd 
 teachings of the Tabernacle. One of the greatest Mormon 
 writers, Orson Pratt, has said, — 
 
 " The wife should never follow her own judgment in preference 
 to that of her husband; for if her husband desires to do right, 
 but errs in judgment, the Lord will bless her in endeavouring 
 to carry out his counsels ; for God has -placed him at the head, 
 and though he may err in judgment, yet God will not justify 
 the wife in disregarding his instructions and counsels ; far 
 greater is the sin of rebellion, than the errors which arise from 
 the want of judgment ; therefore she would he condemned for 
 
We forsake all, and set out for Zion. 147 
 
 suffering her xoill to rise against his. Be obedient, and God will 
 cause all things to work for good." 
 
 The trouble and annoyance occasioned by leaving a comfort- 
 able position in New York to ti'avel to such an unknown region 
 as Utah was then, was not a trifle ; but we hastened our pre- 
 parations, sacrificing all that we possessed in the most reckless 
 manner, and in due time set out. 
 
 When we reached Florence — the starting-point on the Fron- 
 tiers — we were detained on account of some mismanagement 
 on the part of the Church Agents, and remained for three 
 weeks in camp. Ours was Avhat was called " an independent 
 company ;" by which I mean that we were able to defray our 
 own expenses without borrowing from the Church : the poorer 
 emigrants were assisted from a fund provided for that purpose 
 -r-the Perpetual Emigration Fund. 
 
 Our company was in an infinitely better position than that 
 of those emigrants of whose sad fate my friend Mary Burton 
 had told me ; for our journey was made at the proper season, 
 and, as far as was possible under the circumstances, convenience 
 and comfort had been attended to. The incidents which befell 
 us were few, and although, of course, every one of us felt 
 weary and worn out, we were not called upon to pass through 
 the miseries and sufferings endured by the hand-cart emigrants. 
 Looking back to our primitive mode of travelling, it appears 
 to me almost as if I must be making some mistake about my 
 own age, and that it must have been several centuries, instead 
 of a few years ago, since we crossed the Plains. The ox-team 
 and waggon, the walk on foot in the day and the camp- life at 
 night, have been pleasantly exchanged for the swift travel of a 
 few days in a Pullman palace-car. 
 
 What living contradictions we were as we crossed the Plains 
 — singing in a circle, night and morning, the songs of Zion and 
 listening to prayers and thanksgiviugs for having been per- 
 mitted to gather out of Babylon ; and then during the day as 
 we trudged along in twos and threes expressing to each other 
 all our misgivings, and doubts, and fears, and tbe bitterness 
 our thoughts against Polygamy ; while each wife, confiding in 
 her husband's honour and faithfulness, solaced herself with the 
 hope that all might yet be well. How little sometimes do the 
 songs of gladness reflect the real sentiments of the heart. How 
 often have I heard many a poor heart-broken woman singing 
 the chorus, — 
 
 " I never knew what joy was 
 Till I became a Mormon." 
 L 2 
 
148 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 I never could sing that song, for my experience had been 
 exactly the reverse. 
 
 It was the month of September — the beginning of our 
 beautiful Indian summer — when we emerged from the canon, 
 and caught sight of Salt Lake City. Everything looked green 
 and lovely, and in spite of all my sad forebodings while cross- 
 ing the Plains, I involuntarily exclaimed, " Ah, what a glorious 
 spot ! " It looked like a beautiful garden — another Eden — in 
 the midst of a desert valley. We had a glimpse of the Great 
 Salt Lake far away in the distance, stretching out like a placid 
 sheet of molten silver, while ever, where around were the 
 lonely-looking snow-clapped mountains, encircling us like 
 mighty prison-walls. 
 
 It would be impossible for me to describe my feelings at 
 that time. Even while I was enchanted with the glorious 
 prospect before me, there arose again in my mind that haunt- 
 ing spectre of my existence — Polygamy. I believed that this 
 little earthly paradise would probably be to me, and my 
 daughters after me, a prison-house, and with a mother's instinct 
 I shuddered as I thought of what they might be destined to 
 suffer there. Lovely as the scene was, there was a fatal shadow 
 overhanging it all. Then, too, there was no escape : if the 
 sad forebodings of my heart were realized, it would be utterly 
 impossible for us ever to get away. The idea of a railway 
 being constructed across those desert plains and rocky moun- 
 tains never for a moment entered my mind, and even had I 
 thought it possible, I should hnve supposed that it would take 
 a life-time to complete. No, there was no help for me, even 
 if it came to the worst. I felt that my doom was sealed ; and 
 there were many women in our company who thought just the 
 same as I did, and who were troubled at heart with fears as sad 
 as mine. 
 
 My first impressions of Salt Lake City when we began life 
 there were anything but pleasant — we had to " rough it." For 
 nearly two weeks we were obliged to remain in our waggons, 
 as it was quite impossible to obtain house-room. At that time 
 each family built their own little hut, and there were no 
 vacant houses to let. 
 
 The weather was now growing very cold and wintry, and it 
 was absolutely necessary that Ave should have some better 
 shelter than the waggons afforded. One day my husband told 
 me, when he came home, that he had been offered a house 
 which belonged to the Church. It was in a very dilapidated 
 condition, he said, but that if I would g© and look at it with 
 
W Ph 
 
We forsake all, and set out for Zion. 149 
 
 him, we could then decide about taking it. No time was to 
 be lost, for companies of emigrants were coming in almost 
 daily, and if we neglected this chance we might not find 
 another. 
 
 When we arrived at the house I was much discoui'aged at 
 seeing the condition it was in : the window-panes were all 
 cracked or broken out, the floors and walls looked as if they 
 had never known soap or paint, and the upper rooms had no 
 ceilings ; in fact it was not fit for any civilized Christian to 
 live in. In point of size there was nothing to complain of, 
 but of comfort or convenience there was none — the wind 
 whistled through every door and every cracked window ; and 
 altogether it presented anything but a cheering prospect for 
 winter. 
 
 My husband told me that Daniel H. Wells, who was super- 
 intendent of Church property and also one of the First 
 Presidency of the Church, had promised him that if we took 
 the house it should be repaired and made fit for living in be- 
 fore winter fully set in ; and under the circumstances we thought 
 we could do no better than accept his offer. 
 
 Thus we began housekeeping in Utah, and we unpacked 
 our trunks and tried to give the place as homt-like an appear- 
 ance as we possibly could. I had known what it was to be in 
 a strange country and destitute ; and, therefore, benefiting by 
 experience, when I left New York, regardless of the teachings 
 of the Elders and of my own husband's directions to the con- 
 trary, I had secretly stowed away many little necessaries 
 towards housekeeping. Indeed had I not done so, we should 
 have been as badly off when we reached Zion as when we ar- 
 rived in New York. Besides which, I have no doubt that our 
 waggons would have been filled with the trunks of those very 
 brethren who counselled us not to take more than was abso- 
 lutely necessary. The brethren who gave this counsel were, 
 I noticed, constantly purchasing while they advised every one 
 else to sell, aud I thought it wiser to follow their example than 
 their precepts. 
 
 Among my treasures was some carpet, and when that was 
 laid down and the stove put up Ave began to feel almost at 
 home. The wind, however, soon drove away all thoughts of 
 comfort, for it came whistling in through a thousand unde- 
 tected crevices, and the tallow candles which we were obliged 
 to burn presented a woeful spectacle. Even the most wealthy, 
 then, had no other light but candles, and every family had to 
 make their own : I have often seen people burning a little 
 
150 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 melted grease with a bit of cotton-rag stuck in the middle 
 for a wick — how pleasant the smell, and how brilliant the light 
 thus produced can be imagined. Everything was upon the 
 same scale — and to keep house in any fashion was really a 
 formidable undertaking, especially to those who had been ac- 
 customed to the conveniences of large towns. I believe that 
 many women consented to their husbands taking other wives 
 for the sake of getting some assistance in their home duties. 
 
 We spent nearly all the first evening in our new house in 
 trying to discover some means of keeping out the storm, 
 but to little purpose. Nearly a fortnight passed before any one 
 came to see about repairing the house, but as it belonged to the 
 Church my husband seemed to think it must be all right. 
 The Mormon men are always very lenient towards " the 
 Church " — very much more so than the Mormon women, for 
 the latter have somehow got mixed up in their minds the idea 
 that Brigham Young and " the Church " are synonymous 
 terms. I remember one day a good young sister — a daughter 
 of one of the twelve Apostles — saying to me, "I have just seen 
 the Church," and when I asked her what she meant, she said, 
 " I have just met Brigham Young and Hyram Clawson, and 
 are they not the Church ? " It was evident to me that others 
 besides myself sometimes gave way to wicked thoughts. 
 Nevertheless I was still of opinion that " the Church " had 
 plenty of money and ought to have repaired the house. 
 
 One day a man whom I had never seen before, called upon 
 me and asked what repairs I should like done. I was not 
 feeling very well, and had been annoyed at the delay, and I 
 answered rather ungraciously that I should like anything done, 
 if it were only done at once, for I thought we had waited long 
 enough. He answered me very politely, and said that he would 
 see to it immediately. When Mr. Stenhouse returned home in 
 the evening, he said, " So you have had a visit from President 
 Wells." " No," I said, " there has been no one here but a car- 
 penter — an ugly man with a cast in his eye, and I told him that 
 I wanted the house fixed right away." 
 
 " Why, that was President Wells," he said, very much 
 shocked, and I think I felt as bad as he did when I realized 
 that I had treated one of the " First Presidency " so uncere- 
 moniously. 
 
 This Daniel H, Wells, besides being an Apostle, a Counsellor 
 of Brigham Young, and one of the three " Presidents " who 
 share with Brigham the first position in the Church, and are as- 
 sociated with him in all his official acts, was Lieutenant- General 
 
We forsake all, and set out for Zion. 151 
 
 of the Nauvoo Legion, and at the present time and for some 
 years past Mayor of Salt Lake City. It was a shocking indis- 
 cretion, to say the least, to speak slightingly of such a high and 
 mighty personage. 
 
 The repairs, however, were seen to, and the house rendered 
 a little more habitable. We had now to begin the struggle of 
 life afresh, and could not afford to be too particular about 
 trifles ; — to obtain shelter was something — for the rest we 
 must still continue to hope and trust. 
 
152 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 CHAPTEE XVII. 
 
 MY FIRST IMPRESSIONS OF THE CITY OF THE SAINTS. 
 
 When I arrived in Salt Lake City, a great many improve- 
 ments had been effected ; and expecting, as I did that this 
 would be our future home for many years, perhaps for life, I 
 was interested in everything that I saw. 
 
 The first Sunday I went to the Tabernacle I was greatly 
 amused at the way in which some of the sisters were dressed. 
 Quite a number wore sun-bonnets, but the majority wore 
 curious and diverse specimens of the milliner's art — relics of 
 former days. Some wore a little tuft of gauze and feathers 
 on the top of the head, while others had helmets of extraor- 
 dinary size. There were little bonnets, half-grown bonnets, 
 and " grandmother bonnets " with steeple crowns and fronts 
 so large that it was difficult to get a peep at the faces which 
 they concealed. As for the dresses, they were as diversified 
 as the bonnets. Some of them presented a rather curious 
 spectacle. I noticed two young women who sat near me : 
 they were dressed alike in green calico sun-bonnets, green 
 calico skirts, and pink calico sacks. On inquiring who they 
 were, I was told that they were the wives of one man, and had 
 both been married to him on the same day, so that neither 
 could claim precedence of the other. Outside of Utah such 
 a thing would seem impossible ; but so many of the young 
 girls at that time came out to Zion without father or mother or 
 any one else to guide them ; and left to their own inexperience 
 and afraid to disobey " counsel," it is no wonder that they soon 
 yielded to the universal custom. 
 
 The two young women whom I have mentioned did not 
 appear to me to be overburdened with intelligence ; they 
 looked like girls who could be made to believe anything; but 
 after that I met with two well-educated women who, like 
 these foolish girls, thoughtlessly tried the experiment of two 
 or more marrying the same man on the same day, agreeing 
 with their " lord " that that would be the best way to preserve 
 
My First Impressions of the City of the Saints. 153 
 
 peace in their household. But they were terribly mistaken; 
 and even before the marriage-day was over, the poor bewil- 
 dered husband had to fly to Brother Brigham for counsel. 
 
 The Tabernacle services seemed to me as - strange as the 
 women. There was no regular order in conducting the pro- 
 ceedings, but the prominent brethren made prayers or " ser- 
 mons " as they were called upon to do so. The " sermons " 
 would be more properly called speeches ; they are nothing 
 but a rambling, disconnected glorification of the Saints, inter- 
 spersed with fearful denunciations of the Gentiles, and not 
 unfrequently a good sprinkling of words and expressions such 
 as are never used in decent society. More unedifying dis- 
 courses could hardly be imagined. As for the spirituality 
 and devotional feeling which characterized our meetings in 
 England, they were only conspicuous by their absence, and 
 many devout Saints have told me that when they first went 
 there, before the erection of the great organ, the free-and- 
 easy manners of the speakers and the brass band which was 
 stationed in front of the platform, made them feel as if they 
 had come to witness a puppet-show rather than to attend a 
 religious meeting. 
 
 There was one lady at the Tabernacle service whom I re- 
 garded with considerable interest. This was no other than 
 Eliza R. Snow, one of the Prophet's wives. I was told that 
 she was the first woman married in Polygamy after Joseph 
 Smith received the Revelation, and I believed it was so. 
 People who lived in Nauvoo, respectable people, and not one 
 or two either, have assured me that for four years before 
 Joseph is said to have received the Revelation, he was prac- 
 tising Polygamy, or something worse, and that the Revelation 
 was given to justify what was already done. However this 
 might be, it is generally understood that Miss Eliza Snow 
 was the first plural wife of the Prophet. Her principal 
 occupation at the present time is converting rebellious wives 
 to obedience to their husbands, and convincing young girls 
 that it is their duty to enter into Polygamy. Unhappy hus- 
 bands derive great consolation from her counsels. In matters 
 of religion she is a perfect fanatic, aud in connexion with 
 the Female Relief Society she reigns supreme ; but otherwise 
 there are many excellent traits in her character, and I could 
 tell of many acts of loving-kindness and self-denial which she 
 has performed, and which will surely have their reward. As 
 the chief poet of the Mormon Church, and as the Representa- 
 tive of Eve in the mysteries of the Endowment House, she 
 
154 -An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 enjoys a reputation such as would be impossible to any other 
 woman among the Saints. 
 
 Another of the late Joseph's wives is a Mrs. Doctor Jacobs, 
 who was actually married to the Prophet while she was still 
 living with her original husband, Jacobs. Under the same 
 circumstances she married Brigham Young, after Joseph's 
 death. For some time her husband knew nothing of the 
 whole affair, but Brigham very soon gave him to understand 
 that his company was not wanted. The sisters of Mrs. 
 Jacobs — a Mrs. Buel — was another of Joseph's wives, and 
 she married the Apostle Heber C. Kimball, but does not 
 appear to have made a very good bargain. 
 
 Besides these there is another lady, a Mrs. Shearer — or, as 
 she is familiarly called — " Aunty Shearer." She is in every 
 respect a unique specimen of womanhood, tall and angular, 
 with cold yet eager grey eyes; a woman of great volubility, 
 and altogether grim-looking and strong-minded. She was an 
 early disciple, and is said to have sacrificed everything for 
 Mormonisin. She lived in Joseph Smith's family, and, of 
 course, saw and heard a great deal about Polygamy, and at 
 first it was a great stumbling-block to her. She was, how- 
 ever, instructed by the immaculate Joseph, and so far 
 managed to overcome her feelings as to be married to him for 
 eternity. Like the others, she is called " Mrs.," and I sup- 
 pose there is a Mr, Shearer somewhere, but upon that point 
 she is very reticent. Her little lonely hut is fitted with in- 
 numerable curiosities and little knick-knacks, which some people 
 are for ever hoarding away in the belief that they will come 
 into use some day. She is a woman that one could not easily 
 forget. She wears a muslin cap with a very wide border 
 flapping in the wind under a comical-looking hood, and is 
 easily recognized by her old yellow marten-fur cape and enor- 
 mous muff : her dress, which is of her own spinning and 
 weaving, is but just wide enough, and its length could never 
 inconvenience her. Add to these personal ornaments a stout pair 
 of brogues, and you will see before you " Aunty Shearer," 
 one of the Prophet's spiritual wives. 
 
 I may as well explain what is meant by " spiritual " wives 
 and " proxy" wives. 
 
 Marriages contracted by the Gentiles, or by Mormons in 
 accordance with Gentile institutions, are not considered bind- 
 ing by the Saints. That was partly the cause of my indigna- 
 tion and the indignation of many another wife and mother. 
 We were told that we had never been married at all, and that 
 
My First Impressions of the City of the Saints. 155 
 
 our husbands and our children were not lawfully ours : surely 
 that was enough to excite the indignation of any wife, what- 
 ever her faith might be. For a marriage to be valid it must 
 be solemnized in the Endowment House in Salt Lake City, or 
 the persons contracting it can never expect to be husband and 
 wife in eternity. Should the husband die before he reaches 
 Zion, and if the wife loves him sufficiently well to wish to be 
 his in eternity — when she arrives in Salt Lake City, if she 
 receives an offer of marriage from one of the brethren, and 
 does not object to him as a second husband in this world, she 
 will make an agreement with him that she will be his wife, 
 for time, but that in eternity she and all her children shall be 
 handed over to the first husband. A woman thus married 
 is called a " proxy " wife. 
 
 Now " spiritual " wives are of two classes. The one con- 
 sists of old ladies who have plenty of money or property which 
 of course needs looking after ; and generous Elders marry 
 them, and accordingly " look after " the said property, and 
 the owner of it becomes the Elder's spiritual wife. She will 
 only be his real wife in eternity when she is rejuvenated. 
 
 The other kind of "spiritual " wife is one who is married 
 already, but who does not think that her husband can " exalt " 
 her to so high a position in the celestial world as she deserves 
 — perhaps some kind brother who takes a great interest in her 
 welfare has told her so — she then is secretly " sealed" to one of 
 the brethren who is better able to exalt her — perhaps to this 
 same brother ; and in the resurrection she will pass from him 
 who was her husband on earth to him who is to be her hus- 
 band in heaven — if she has not done so before. 
 
 This is what is meant by " proxy " and " spiritual " wives. 
 I think it will be evident even to the dullest comprehension 
 that under such a system, " the world, the flesh, and the 
 devil " are far more likely to play a prominent part than any- 
 thing heavenly or spiritual. 
 
 All this is so repugnant to the instincts and feelings of a 
 true woman, that I feel quite ashamed to write about it. And 
 yet the working out of this system has produced results which 
 would be perfectly grotesque were it not that they outrage 
 every ordinary sense of propriety. Let me give an example. 
 One of the wives of Brigham Young — Mrs. Augustus Cobb 
 Young — a highly educated and intelligent Boston lady with 
 whom I am intimately acquainted, requested of her Prophet 
 husband a favour of a most extraordinary description. She 
 had forsaken her lawful husband and family and a happy and 
 
156 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 luxurious home to join the Saints, under the impression that 
 Brigham Young would make her his queen in heaven. She 
 was a handsome woman— a woman of many gifts and graces — 
 and Brigham thoroughly appreciated her ; but she made a 
 slight miscalculation in respect to the Prophet. He cares 
 little enough for his first wife, poor lady, and few people who 
 know him doubt for a moment that he would un-queen her 
 and cut her adrift for time and eternity too, if his avaricious 
 soul saw the slightest prospect of gain by doing so ; he did not 
 care for her, but he never would allow himself to be dictated 
 to by any woman. So when the lady of whom I speak asked 
 him to place her at the head of his household, he refused : she 
 begged hard, but he would not relent. Then finding that she 
 could not be Brigham's " queen," and having been taught by 
 the highest Mormon authorities that our Saviour had, and 
 has, many wives, she requested to be " sealed to Him ! " Brig- 
 ham Young told her (for what reason I do not know) that it 
 really was out of his power to do that, but that he would do 
 " the next best thing " for her — he would " seal"' her to Joseph 
 Smith. She was sealed to Joseph Smith, and though Brig- 
 ham still supports her, and she is called by his name on 
 earth, in the resurrection she will leave him and go over to 
 the original Prophet. 
 
 The reader will be certainly shocked at this terrible 
 burlesque of sacred things, but I felt it my duty to state the 
 truth and place facts in their right light. It is not generally 
 known that the Mormons are taught that the marriage at Cana 
 of Galilee was Christ's own nuptial feast, that Mary and 
 Martha were his plural wives, and that those women who in 
 various parts of the New Testament are spoken of as minister- 
 ing to him stood to him in fhe same relation. 
 
 Malicious first wives, especially if they are rather elderly 
 themselves, frequently call the proxy wives " fixins ; " and 
 the tone in which some of them utter the word is in the last 
 degree contemptuous. These poor " fixins " are seldom 
 treated as real wives by the husband himself. He may think 
 sufficiently well of the " proxy " wife to make her his for 
 time and to raise up children to his friend, as the Elders say, 
 but he never forgets that in eternity she will be handed over 
 to the man for whom he has stood proxy, and he expects that 
 she also will bear that in mind, and do all she can for her own 
 support, and never complain of his want of attention to her. 
 Some men, after having married a young proxy wife, have 
 become so enamoured that they grew jealous of the dead hus- 
 
My First Impressions of the City of the Saints. 157 
 
 band, and have tried to get the wife to break faith with him, 
 and be married to them for eternity as well as time. This 
 was certainly rather mean. Very few Gentile husbands 
 would fret themselves about possibilities in the world to come, 
 if in this world they had the certainty of enjoying the undi- 
 vided affections of their wives. 
 
 Mormon husbands are so influenced by their religion that 
 they neither act nor think like other men. I am thinking of 
 one wretched family that I knew soon after I went to Utah. 
 There was a man and his wife and four children, all living to- 
 gether in a miserable, poverty-stricken hut. I had heard that 
 the man was paying attentions to a young girl with a view of 
 making her his second wife, and I frequently watched the 
 first wife as she went in and out, doing her " chores," and won- 
 dered how she felt about it. The poverty of the man, of 
 course, was of no consequence ; living in the primitive style 
 in which necessity then compelled the Saints to live, one, or 
 even half-a-dozen extra wives made very little difference, and 
 Brigham and the leading Elders have always represented it as 
 a meritorious act, for the young especially, to " build up the 
 kingdom," without regard to consequences, or the misery of 
 bringing up a family in a destitute condition. I never can 
 see children without loving them, and in this case it was not 
 long before I contrived to make acquaintance with the little 
 ones. One day, while I was talking to them, the mother came 
 out. She seemed pleased to see me, for she had heard of me 
 that I was not too strong in the faith, and she told me that 
 her husband had said,- in speaking of such women as myself, 
 who did not like the celestial order of marriage, that their 
 husbands ought to force them right into it, and that would 
 show what they were made of : if they were true-hearted 
 women, seeking their husband's glory and " exaltation " in the 
 world to come, they would bear it well enough ; and if not, 
 the sooner it killed them the better ; for if they were dead 
 their husbands could save them in the resurrection, but if they 
 lived they would only be an incumbrance. 
 
 This, I found, was the general opinion among the Mormon 
 men. Even in England the American Elders had taught us 
 that the man was the head and "saviour" of the woman, and 
 that the woman was only responsible to her husband. It was 
 necessary, we were told, that the woman should keep in 
 favour with her lord, otherwise he might withdraw his pro- 
 tection and refuse to take her into the celestial kingdom ; in 
 which case when she got to heaven she would only be an 
 
158 An Englishivoman in Utah. 
 
 angel ! To be an angel is not considered by tbe Saints to 
 be by any means the highest state of glory. Those who do 
 not obey the " Celestial Order of Marriage" will, like the angels, 
 neither marry nor be given in marriage ; they will be located, 
 the men in one place, and the women in another, and will 
 serve as slaves, lackeys, and boot-blacks to the Saints. Brig- 
 ham Young once publicly said of a certain President of the 
 United States, that he would clean the boots of the Mormon 
 leaders in heaven. He did not say this as a figure of speech, 
 but meant it literally. Those who have obeyed the Gospel of 
 the new dispensation, but who have failed to enter into Poly- 
 gamy, will be as upper servants ; but the rebellious — the " vile 
 apostates " and the " wicked Gentiles " — will join the angels 
 and do all the drudgery for the men of many wives. Thus I 
 learned in Zion that my youthful notions about the glory of 
 the cherubim were quite a mistake, and that it was not such 
 a fine thing to be an angel after all. 
 
 But I have run away from my story, and had almost for- 
 gotten my poor acquaintance. She was a woman who was 
 likely to preserve a painful place in the memory of any one 
 who once saw her. Her face was pale as death, and her jet- 
 black eyes glistened with an unearthly lustre ; it was easy to 
 perceive that she was very unhappy, although she tried hard to 
 exhibit a cheerful disposition, and when our conversation 
 turned to that subject which to women here is all-absorbing, the 
 nervous twitching of her pale face showed how deeply painful 
 such thoughts were to her. She told me that her husband 
 was soon to be married to a young girl about fourteen years 
 of age. " Do you see," she said, " that he is building for 
 her ? " And sure enough he was, at odd hours, adding 
 another hut to the miserable hovel in which they already lived; 
 and thither, when it was finished, he intended to take his 
 bride. As I looked at the poor wife, I felt little doubt that 
 ere that time came, her troubles on earth would have ended, 
 and her little ones would be motherless. 
 
 The Mormon women, as well as the Mormon men, are noted 
 for attending to their own business — they do not care to tell 
 their sorrows and trials to strangers or to people who are not 
 of their own faith. In this way visitors to Salt Lake who 
 have gone there with the intention of" writing-up " the Saints 
 in the newspapers or in a book, have generally been misled. 
 My own experience as a Mormon woman leads me to form 
 anything but a flattering opinion of the Mormon stories told 
 by Gentile pens. The following instance will show that the 
 
My First Impressions of the City of the Saints. 159 
 
 sisters are not quite so free in giving their experience as 
 some writers would suggest. 
 
 One day, while passing through the city, I saw a young 
 woman running across the road with a little child in her arms. 
 The child was crying piteously, for the water was running 
 from its clothing, and I saw in a moment that it had fallen 
 into the stream which ran in front of the house. I followed, 
 to see if I could be of any assistance, but fortunately found 
 that the little creature was not seriously hurt, but would 
 soon recover from the fright and cold. I helped the mother 
 to change its clothing, and while she was lulling her baby to 
 sleep we entered into conversation. At first she appeared to 
 be very shy of me, and avoided speaking of anything in the 
 slightest degree personal ; but growing more interested, she 
 said at last, — 
 
 " Are you a Mormon ? " 
 
 " Certainly," I answered; " but why do you ask me ? " 
 
 " Because," she said, " we have had one or two Gen- 
 tile women among us, and they go round among our people 
 and question the women, and get them to tell their troubles, 
 which God knows are heavy enough; and then they go and 
 write about it, and Brigham Young finds it out, and their 
 husbands are called to account for allowing their wives to speak 
 to the Gentiles. You are sure you are a Mormon ? " she 
 added, " and you are not deceiving me ? " 
 
 " I'm sorry you should think such a thing," I said; "but if 
 you suppose I would deceive you, I will not trouble you with 
 my company." And I rose up to leave. 
 
 " Do not go yet," she said, " and pray forgive me, if I have 
 wounded your feelings ; it is simply the fear I have of getting 
 into trouble. Brigham Young and the Elders have frequently 
 told us to have nothing to do with the Gentiles, for they are 
 enemies to the kingdom of God, and are seeking our overthrow 
 — and I suppose it is true." 
 
 " How long have you been here ? " I asked. 
 
 " Over two years," she replied, " and it seems almost twenty 
 — time has passed so slowly. I left father and mother, sisters 
 and brother, for the Gospel's sake, and I do not regret it, be- 
 cause it is right; but it was a very great sacrifice to make. 
 Yet I believe that God blesses us for the sacrifices we make, 
 and I shall get my reward." 
 
 " You have it already," I said, " in that pretty child on your 
 knee; and your husband, I hope, is a good man and kind to 
 you." 
 
160 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 " Yes," she answered, " my child is a very great source of 
 happiness to me, and I love my husband very much, but — " 
 (hesitatingly) " are you in Polygamy ? " 
 
 "No, not yet; but I do not know how soon my husband may 
 take it into his head to get another wife." 
 
 " Are you first wife ? " she asked. 
 
 " Yes," I replied, " and I suppose you are also ? " 
 
 "No, I am third wife," she said, "I wish I were first 
 wife." 
 
 " But why," I suggested, " do you wish that ? If Poly- 
 gamy is the true order of marriage, I do not see that it 
 makes much difference whether one is the first or the twentieth 
 wife ? " 
 
 " Oh dear, yes," she replied, " it does make a great deal of 
 difference ; for the first wife will be queen over ' all the others, 
 and reign with her husband. If I had known that before I was 
 married, I should have made my husband promise to place 
 me first. Men can do that if they like." 
 
 " But do you think you would be doing right in trying to 
 gain the position of first wife in that way ? " 
 
 " Why not ? " she said; " didn't Jacob obtain his brother's 
 birthright by deception — and was he ever punished for it ? 
 Do you think that Brother Brigham, notwithstanding that 
 he is the inspired servant of God, could have obtained his 
 position, and all his money, by simple honest dealing ? If 
 you think so, I don't ; and it is just as proper and right for 
 us women to secure a position for ourselves by such means 
 as it is for Brigham Young — the end justifies the means." 
 
 " If that is so," I said, " it is a wonder to me that any 
 woman should consent to become second, third, or fourth wife 
 — seeing they cannot be queens." 
 
 "I can see that you have not yet had your ' Endowments,' " 
 she said, "or you would understand more about these things; 
 but as you are a good Mormon, I can speak freely to you. 
 You see it is not always those who are first wives in this 
 world who will be first in the celestial kingdom. It all de- 
 pends upon the amount of sacrifice the wife is capable of mak- 
 ing for her husband, her faithfulness to him, and the number 
 of children she has borne him. If she pleases him in every 
 particular, and is good, patient, and above all things obedient 
 to all his wishes and commands, then she is almost certain to 
 be made queen, unless the first wife is just as good, and then 
 I don't know how they would fix that. And so you see it is 
 safer to be first wife at once." 
 
My First Impressions of the City of the Saints. 161 
 
 " Well, but," I asked, " knowing all this, I am surprised 
 that you consented to be third wife ! " 
 
 " But I did not know it then," she continued. " My hus- 
 band told me that all the wives were queens — all equal — and 
 he says so still when I talk to him about it. But he can't 
 deceive me. I have spoken to some of the old Nauvoo women 
 who know all about it, and they tell me that all the Poly- 
 gamic wives will be subject to the first wife; but the first wife, 
 having suffered most, will be the one who has gone through 
 the fire and been purified, and found worthy." 
 
 " But do you think that your husband would wish to deceive 
 you about such an important matter?" I said. 
 
 " Wait till you have lived a little longer here," she replied, 
 " and you will be able to answer that question yourself, or 
 else your experience will be very different from that of the 
 rest of the people here." 
 
 Just then the husband made his appearance, and put an end 
 to the conversation. He was a tall, dark-looking man, with 
 grey hair, old enough to be her father. He appeared to be 
 well educated and to have seen better days, though every- 
 thing about their home indicated poverty — the room in which 
 we were sitting had no carpet on the floor, there was a plain 
 white-pine table in the middle, a small sheet-iron stove, four 
 wooden chairs, a small looking-glass, and some cheap pictures. 
 This was the sitting-room for the whole family — three wives, 
 eleven children, one husband. He asked me if I had seen 
 the rest of the family. 
 
 I replied negatively, and he said he would see if any of them 
 were about. Presently he returned accompanied by an elderly 
 woman whom he introduced as Mrs. Simpson. Then came 
 another, not quite as good-looking as the first, but a great 
 deal younger, and he introduced her as " My wife Ellen. 
 And this one," he said, turning to the one with whom I had 
 been conversing, "is my wife Sarah. Don't you think I have 
 got three' fine-looking women?" Then, after a pause, he 
 added, " And they are just as good as they are good-looking 
 — good, obedient wives. I have no trouble with them ; my 
 wishes are law in this house. Here you have a family in 
 which the Spirit of God reigns. We are not rich in worldly 
 goods, as you see, but we are laying up treasure in heaven. 
 We all live in this little home of four rooms. My wife Ellen 
 here, has given up her room for a parlour for us all to meet to- 
 gether in, and she sleeps in a waggon-box; it is not the most 
 comfortable, but she never grumbles. Then, here is our 
 
 M 
 
1 62 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 Sarah ; we are obliged to humour her a little, and give her a 
 room all to herself. She is young and inexperienced, and 
 doesn't like to put up with the inconveniences that the 
 Saints have to hear with ; while old mother here has got to 
 have half-a-dozen children in her room, but she never com- 
 plains." 
 
 " Why did you not wait," I said, " until you had a larger 
 house ? " 
 
 " Then where would my kingdom be ? " he answered, 
 " Young men may wait, but old men must improve their 
 time." 
 
 There came in now a troop of children of all ages. They 
 had been playing in the lot, were miserably clad, bare- 
 footed, and some looked gaunt and hungry : — manners to 
 match. " These," he said, with all a father's fondness — 
 " these constitute my kingdom, and I am proud of them." 
 
 I felt thankful that I was not destined to be queen over 
 such a kingdom, wished them good-bye, and with a sad heart 
 went home to my own darling little ones, not knowing what 
 mishtbe their fate. 
 
<5£^l^L- 
 
 <?7>Ut^- 
 
1 63 
 
 CHAPTER XVIII. 
 
 BRIGHAM TOUNG AT HOME : — AVE VISIT THE TROPHET AND 
 HIS WIVES. 
 
 Shortly after our arrival in Salt Lake City we visited Presi- 
 dent Young, who received us veiy graciously and appointed 
 an early day for us to dine with him. 
 
 On that occasion he invited some of the Apostles and lead- 
 ing men to meet us at his table, and we passed an exceedingly 
 pleasant evening. The Prophet made himself very affable ; 
 talked with us about our missionary life and other subjects of 
 personal and general interest ; and expressed a high opinion 
 of the energy and- ability which my husband had displayed. 
 His wives, too, — whom I found, as far as I could judge from 
 such a casual acquaintance, to be amiable and kind-hearted 
 ladies, — made every effort to render our visit agreeable. 
 
 I was much pleased with the manner and appearance of 
 Brigham Young, and felt greatly reassured ; for he did not 
 seem to me like a man who would preach and practise such 
 things as I had heard of him while I was in London. This I 
 was glad to see, for it encouraged me to think that, perhaps, 
 after all, matters might not be so bad as I had anticipated. 
 We were, in fact, very kindly received in Salt Lake City by 
 every one with whom we came in contact ; for having been 
 Missionaries for so many years, Ave were, of course, well known 
 by name, and had a Avide circle of acquaintances among the 
 chief Elders and emigrants. 
 
 Fifteen years have, of course, worked a great change in the 
 appearance of Brigham Young ; but though he is now nearly 
 Beventy-three years of age, he is si ill a portly-looking — I might 
 almost say handsome man. His good looks are not of the 
 poetic or romantic kind at all ; he is very common-place and 
 practical in his appearance, but long and habitual exercise of 
 despotic authority has stamped itself upon bis features, and is 
 seen even in the way he carries himself: he might without 
 
 M 2 
 
164 Aii Englishwoman in Utah, 
 
 any stretch of the imagination be mistaken for a retired sea- 
 captain. 
 
 When I first knew him, in appearance he was little over 
 fifty years of age, was of medium height, well built, upright, 
 and, as I just stated, had the air of one accustomed to be 
 obeyed. His hair was light, — sandy, I suppose I ought to call 
 it, — with eyes to match ; and the expression of his counte- 
 nance was pleasant and manly. I, of course, regarded him 
 from a woman's stand-point ; but there were others who were 
 accustomed to study physiognomy, and they detected — or 
 thought they detected — in the cold expression of his eye and 
 the stern, hard lines of his lips, evidences of cruelty, selfish- 
 ness, and dogged determination which, it is only fair to say, I 
 myself never saw. 
 
 The lines on his face have deepened of late years, as what 
 little of gentleness his heart ever knew has died out within 
 him ; but still he presents the appearance of a man who would 
 afford a deep study to the observer of human nature. In 
 early life he had to work hard for a living, and according to 
 his own statement he had a rough time of it. He was, by 
 trade, a painter and glazier, aud has frequently said in public 
 that in those times he was glad to work for " six hits " a day, 
 and to keep his hands busy from morning to night to get even 
 that. Whether or not the privations of early years fostered 
 in him that avaricious and grasping spirit which of late years 
 has been so conspicuous in him, I cannot say, but it is certain 
 that it cropped out very early in his career as a Saint. An 
 old Nauvoo Missionary, — a Mormon of the Mormons once, 
 but now, alas ! a " vile apostate " as Brigham would politely 
 call him, — once told me that when the Prophet Joseph Smith 
 sent the Apostle Young on Mission, a good deal of discontent 
 was shown that the said Apostle did not account properly for 
 the collections and tithings which passed through his hands. 
 Brother Joseph who was then " the Church " suggested in a 
 pleasant Avay — for the Prophet Smith was a big, jovial fellow, 
 six feet two or three inches in height, and withal somewhat of 
 a humorist — that the said Apostle Brigham would appear in 
 his eyes a better Saint if he displayed a little less love for 
 filthy lucre. Thereupon the Apostle, like somebody else who 
 shall be nameless, quoted Scripture, and reminded the Prophet 
 that Moses had said, " Thou shalt not muzzle the mouth of the 
 ox that treadeth out the corn." " True, Brother Brigham," 
 said Joseph, " but Moses did not say the ox was to eat up all 
 the corn." Brother Brigham made no reply, but is said to 
 have " sulked " for two or three days. 
 
Brigham Young at Home. 165 
 
 I have often heard intelligent Gentiles remark, " Well, Brig- 
 ham Young may he a wicked man and an impostor, hut there 
 must be a great deal of talent in him, to manage those people 
 for so many years." 
 
 From this opinion I altogether dissent ; and those who know 
 Brigham hest, think with me, though mauy of them would not 
 dare to say so. I do not think Brigham Young a wicked 
 man or an impostor in the sense in which those words are 
 ordinarily used ; but experience, and a careful study of his 
 life and doings, have convinced me that he is certainly not a 
 great man or a man of genius in any sense of the word. 
 There can be no doubt that he has been guilty of many and 
 great crimes, but I believe that in the early part of his career 
 he was so blinded by fanaticism that those crimes appeared to 
 him actually virtues : — the force of habit and the daily associa- 
 tions of his life have so completely taken from him all sense of 
 right and wrong ; while the devotion of his people has made 
 the idea that he could possibly do the slightest wrong so utterly 
 inconceivable to him and to them, that his perceptions of jus- 
 tice, truth, honour, honesty, and upright dealing are as utterly 
 stultified as they ever were in the mind of the wildest savage 
 who pi'owled among the cliffs and canons of the Rocky Moun- 
 tains. 
 
 People think that Brigham Young attained to his present 
 position by the exercise of ability, such as has been displayed, 
 only on a greater scale, by all those men who, not being born 
 to power, nor having it thrust upon them, have by the force of 
 their genius seized it and held it — unlawfully it might be, but, 
 nevertheless, with talent and moral energy. 
 
 Of the Prophet's moral character, the less said the better. 
 He has been remorseless and cruel in his enmities, and he has 
 connived at and even suggested, if nothing more, some of the 
 most atrocious crimes that have ever been perpetrated on the 
 face of the earth. In business matters, in the payment of 
 money — to use a popular phrase — his word is as good as his 
 bond, but in the accumulation of wealth he has evinced an 
 amount of dishonesty which can scarcely be credited. Brig- 
 liani always meets his obligations, and pays his debts, and gets 
 a lawful receipt : — the prophetic business could not otherwise 
 be carried on ; but the way in which he has obtained his 
 wealth would put to the blush the most dishonest member of 
 any " ring " in New York, or elsewhere. When he attended 
 his first Conference, he says he had to borrow certain mascu- 
 line garments and a pair of boots hefore he could put in an 
 
1 66 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 appearance. Now it would be difficult to estimate the value 
 of his property. He has taken up large tracts of land all over 
 the Territory, he has the uncontrolled and unquestioned com- 
 mand of all the tithing and contributions of the Saints, and 
 from gifts and confiscations, and innumerable other sources, 
 his revenue pours in. It was once rumoured that he had 
 eighteen or twenty millions of dollars in the Bank of England; 
 but Brigham said that the report was not true. " The Church," 
 he added, had a little money invested abroad. The difference 
 between " The Church " and the individual Brigham Young 
 has yet to be determined. 
 
 In the year 1852 the " Prophet of the Lord " found that he 
 had borrowed an inconveniently large sum from the funds of 
 the Church. He is " Trustee in Trust " and, of course, legally 
 responsible ; but he never renders an account of his steward- 
 ship, and no one ever asks him for it. His sense of honesty 
 was, however, so strong that he resolved to have his account 
 balanced, and he went down to the Tithiug-Office for that 
 purpose. There he found that his indebtedness amounted to 
 two hundred thousand dollars, and he proceeded to pay it after 
 his own fashion : the clerk was instructed to place to his 
 credit the same amount "for services rendered" In 1867, he 
 owed very nearly one million dollars, which he had borrowed 
 from the same fund, and he balanced his account in the same 
 way. His contract for the Pacific Railroad is said to have 
 yielded him a quarter of a million, and his other contracts and 
 mining speculations, purchases and thefts of lands, houses, &c, 
 have been very profitable. The expenses of such a family as 
 Brother Brigham's must be something enormous, but the con- 
 tributions which by honest and dishonest means he has levied 
 have been so large that he must still be one of the wealthiest 
 men in the States. 
 
 Brigham is not a generous man. He has given occasionally, 
 as for instance at the time of the Chicago fire, when he pre- 
 sented a thousand dollars for the sufferers, but even then his 
 motive was evident — the affairs of " Deseret " were under dis- 
 cussion in Congress. Without the certainty of a profitable 
 return, Brigham never gave a cent. The story of his sordid 
 avarice and his contemptible meanness in the accumulation of 
 money would fill a volume. 
 
 Morally and physically the Prophet is a great coward. 
 When he and other Church leaders were arrested a year or 
 two ago, charged with the very gravest crimes, the effect upon 
 the Prophet was most distressing. He had solemnly sworn 
 
Brigliam Young at Home. 1 6y 
 
 in the Tabernacle that he would shoot the man who attempted 
 to arrest him ; but when Judge McKean opened court and 
 placed him under arrest, he swallowed his threats and played 
 the coward's part. Before this the world has seen wretches 
 who were notorious for their cruelty and tyranny, and who 
 were also remarkable for their cowardice. For many years 
 he has imitated royalty and has had a strong body-guard to 
 keep watch and ward around his person every night. No 
 man has less cause to apprehend personal violence than 
 Brother Brigham, but the voice of conscience, which, as the 
 poet says, makes cowards of us all, suggests his fears. 
 
1 68 An Englishwoman in UtaJi. 
 
 CHAPTER XIX. 
 
 THE WIVES OP BRIGHAM YOUNG: — THEIR HISTORY AND 
 THEIR DAILY LIFE. 
 
 The wives of Brigham Young have always been subjects of 
 interest to Gentiles who visited Zion ; and having spoken of 
 their husband, I think it is only fair that I should say a few 
 words about them. 
 
 For many years I have known personally all the Prophet's 
 wives who reside in Salt Lake City, and I wish to speak of 
 them with kindness and respect. They are women whom 
 any one would esteem — conscientious, good, earnest women ; 
 faithful, true-hearted wives, who have devoted their lives to 
 the carrying out of what they believe is the revealed will of 
 God. 
 
 When I first knew Brother Brigham, poor man, he had only 
 sixteen living with him in Salt Lake City ; and even now he 
 has no more than nineteen ! Perhaps I ought to say eighteen, 
 since Eliza-Ann has run away from him, and left the poor old 
 gentleman desolate and forlorn. The three whom he took 
 after I came to Utah, were Amelia Folsom, Mary Van Cott 
 Cobb, and Eliza- Ann. But the reader will perhaps be in- 
 terested in hearing about them all, and so I will state the 
 names and order of the ladies as they at present stand — ac- 
 cording to the date of their marriage ; making mention of the 
 proxy wives last of all, for the sake of convenience and with- 
 out reference to date. Of course Brother Brigham has had 
 many more than nineteen wives, but the following are the 
 living ladies ; others are dead or have strayed away, no one 
 knew whither, and perhaps, as Brother Heber once said to me, 
 nobody cared. 
 
 Allow me to introduce the Mis. Young. 
 
 MRS. MARY ANN ANGELL YOUNG. 
 [Number One.] 
 First in order is Mrs. Mary Ann Angell Young, but she is 
 
«s&JWR^ 
 
 £fe& 
 
 c^Oi; . 
 
 -'ry" 
 
 ^BQ-'M^^^ 
 
 'AMELIA F0L50M Y0UNG,\V^^/ "ELIZA ANN," 
 
 WIFE OF BR1GHAM5-AP0ST/ITESON 
 
 /< / 
 
 To face p. 168. 
 
The Wives of Brigham Young. 169 
 
 not the first wife that Brother Brigharn ever had. Once upon 
 a time, Brother Brigham was a Methodist ; but after listening 
 to the preaching of the Mormon Missionaries he became a 
 vile apostate — as he loves to call those who leave his present 
 faith — and he forsook Methodism. In those days, before he 
 apostatised, and long before he ever dreamed of Polygamy, he 
 had but one wife — one only ! It must seem strange to the 
 Prophet to look back to that period of solitary existence. His 
 second wife was Mrs. Angell Young ; and I call her his first 
 wife because she is the first of those living now. As she was 
 married to him after the death of his first wife, she is, of 
 course, his legal wife, and would be recognized as such in 
 any civilized country. She is a very fine-looking old lady and 
 very much devoted to her unfaithful lord and master, firmly 
 believing in his divine mission. She lives by herself and is 
 seldom troubled with a visit from her affectionate spouse. 
 Once in a while Brigham brings her out to a party when he 
 has invited any Gentiles, just for appearance sake. Quite a 
 number of persons in Utah believe that she is dead, so very 
 little is seen and knowu of her. She lives in the White 
 House — Brigham's first residence in Salt Lake City — and is 
 much thought of by those who do know her. Her children 
 are greatly attached to her, and show her a great deal of 
 attention, making up in this way, to a certain extent, for her 
 husband's neglect ; her three sons, Joseph A. Brigham — who 
 it is expected will succeed his father as President of the 
 Church — and John W., as well as her two daughters, Alice 
 and Luna, are all in Polygamy. Each of the sons has three 
 wives ; and each of the daughters has a half-sister as a 
 partner in her husband's affections. Brigham has not the 
 slightest objection to giving two of his daughters to the same 
 husband. 
 
 LUCY DECKER SEELY YOUNG. 
 
 [Number Two.] 
 Lucy Decker Secly Young was his first wife in Polygamy. 
 Her former husband was a Mr. Seely. She is short and stout, 
 a very excellent mother and a devoted wife. 
 
 CLARA DECKER YOUNG. 
 
 [Number Three.] 
 
 Clara Decker Young is the third wife. She is a sister of 
 
 Lucy Seely, and like her is short and stout, but otherwise 
 
 good-looking. She is more than twenty years younger than 
 
 her lord, with whom she was once quite a favourite, but like 
 
170 An EnglisJnvoman in Utah. 
 
 many others, she has " had her day " — to use Brigham's own 
 expression — and is now, as a matter of course, neglected. 
 
 HARRIET COOK YOUNG. 
 
 [Number Four.] 
 
 Harriet Cook Young is tall, with light hair and blue eyes, 
 and is an intelligent but not at all a refined woman. She is 
 said to have given a great deal of trouble to Brother Brigham, 
 of whom she has frequently said very hard things. In times 
 past she had the reputation of being a good deal more than a 
 match for her husband when she had any cause of offence 
 against him, but in her quiet moments she is a very sincere 
 Mormon. She has only one son — Oscar Young — now about 
 twenty-five years of age. When he was born, Brigham kiudly 
 announced to her that because she was not obedient she 
 should have no more children, and during more than a quarter 
 of a century he has kept his word. Why she has remained 
 with him so long is a mystery, for she makes no seci'et of her 
 feelings towards him. 
 
 LUCY BIGELOW YOUNG. 
 
 [Number Five.] 
 
 Lucy Bigelow Young is quite a fine-looking woman — tall 
 and fair, and still quite young. She has three pretty daughters. 
 Brigham has recently sent her to live in southern Utah. 
 
 MRS. TWISS YOUNG. 
 [Number Six.] 
 
 Mrs. Twiss Young has no children, but she is a very good 
 housewife, and Brigham appreciates her accordingly, and has 
 given her the position of housekeeper in the Lion House. 
 Women have two great privileges in the Mormon Church — 
 they may ask a man to marry them, if they chance to fancy 
 him, and if they don't like him afterwards they are able to 
 obtain a divorce for the moderate sum of ten dollars, which 
 sum the husband is expected to pay. Mrs. Twiss exercised 
 the first privilege in reference to Brother Brigham, but has 
 not yet availed herself of the last. There are other ladies who 
 thought it would be a great honour to be called the wives of 
 the Prophet, aud they have requested him to allow them to be 
 called by his name. This he has done, but he has never 
 troubled them with his society. 
 
The Wives of Bngham Young. 171 
 
 MARTHA BOWKER YOUNG. 
 
 [Number Seven.] 
 
 Martha Bowker Young is a quiet little body, with piercing 
 dark eyes, and very retiring. Brother Brigham acts towards 
 her as if he had quite forgotten that he had ever married 
 her, and she lives in all the loneliness of married spinster- 
 hood. 
 
 HARRIET BARNET SEAGERS YOUNG. 
 
 [Number Eight.] 
 
 Harriet Barney Seagers Young, the eighth wife, is a tall, 
 fine-looking woman. She was another man's Avife when 
 Brigham made love to her. It is not supposed to be the correct 
 thing for a Saint to court his neighbour's wife, but the Pro- 
 phet did so in the case of Harriet Barney, and in several other 
 cases too. Harriet was married to a respectable young Mor- 
 mon gentleman, but after she had lived with him some time 
 and had borne three children to him, the Prophet persuaded 
 her to join his ranks, and she did so, believing that the word 
 of the Prophet was the revelation of the Lord to her, but she 
 lias since had bitter cause to repent of her folly. To a Gentile 
 mind such an infatuation must appear very strange, but the 
 Mormon people personally understand the powerful influence 
 which their religion exercises over them, and to them there is 
 nothing very singular in all this. 
 
 ELIZA BURGESS YOUNG. 
 
 [Number Nine.] 
 
 Eliza Burgess Young is the only English wife that Brigham 
 has. She fell in love with the Prophet, wanted him to marry 
 her, and even offered to wait, like Jacob, for seven years if she 
 might be his at last. So she served in the family of her lord 
 for the appointed time, and he finally took her to wife as a 
 recompense for her faithfulness. She has added one son to 
 the Prophet's kingdom. 
 
 SUSAN SNIVELY YOUNG. 
 
 [Number Ten.] 
 
 The tenth wife on my list is Susan Snively Young. She is 
 a German Avoman — smart, active, and industrious. She has 
 no children, but has been quite a help-meet to her husband in 
 making butter and cheese, in which she excels. Smart Mor- 
 
172 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 mons have always had an eye to business, and while living up 
 to their privileges have not invariably sought for wives who 
 "were only fair and pleasant to look upon, but have frequently 
 taken them for their own intrinsic worth : one as a good 
 dairymaid, another as a good cook, a third as a good laun- 
 dress, and a fourth as a lady to grace the parlour — perhaps 
 even two or three of this last kind, if the Saint were wealthy. 
 There is a good deal of practical wisdom in this. Brother 
 Brigham has gathered of all sorts into his net, and has then 
 sorted them out, placing each lady in the position where he 
 considered she would be most useful and profitable to 
 himself. 
 
 MARGARET PIERCE YOUNG. 
 
 [Number Eleven.] 
 
 Margaret Pierce Young is very lady-like, tall, and genteel. 
 
 She has the appearance of being very unhappy, and it is 
 
 certain that she has been very much neglected, but not more 
 
 so than many of the other wives. She has one son. 
 
 EMMELINE FREE YOUNG. 
 [Number Twelve.] 
 When first I went to Utah, Emmeline Free Young was the 
 reigning favourite, and she was really the handsomest of 
 Brigham's wives — tall and graceful, with curling hair, beautiful 
 eyes, and fair complexion. Brigham was as fond of her, at 
 the time, as a man of his nature, with such a low estimate of 
 woman, could be. But a younger, though not a handsomer, 
 rival soon captivated his fickle heart, and he left poor Emmeline 
 to mourn in sorrow. She has never been herself since then, 
 and probably never will be — she is a broken-hearted woman. 
 She is the mother of quite a numerous family, and doubtless, 
 as she had been the favourite for so long a time, she had come 
 to believe that her husband would never seek another love. 
 But, if this was so, she sadly miscalculated Brigham, for when 
 his licentious fancy was attracted to another object of affection 
 he cast off Emmeline as ruthlessly as he would an old garment. 
 What decent person could refrain from loathing such a man ! 
 How often has my heart gone out in sympathy towards that 
 poor, wrecked woman whom he had forsaken ; what a pity 
 I deemed it that so much love should be wasted upon a crea- 
 ture who could never understand or appreciate it. And yet 
 Emmeline's fate has been no worse than that of the others ; 
 but I was more with her, and saw how keenly she suffered, 
 
The Wives of ' Brigham Young. 173 
 
 and I sympathized with her when her sorrows brought her 
 nearly to the point of death. 
 
 AMELIA FOLSOM YOUNG. 
 
 [Number Thirteen.] 
 
 Amelia Folsom Young is now the favourite, and it is sup- 
 posed that she will continue to' be so, for at last poor Brother 
 Brigham has found a woman of whom he stands in dread. It 
 is doubtful whether he loves her, but nobody in Zion doubts 
 that he fears her. It is said that the Prophet has confided so 
 many of his secrets to Amelia that he is obliged to submit 
 to her tyranny, for fear of her leaving him, and exposing some 
 of his little ways which would not bear the light. Be that 
 as it may, it is generally believed that after all his matrimonial 
 alliances he has at last found his viaster in the person of 
 Amelia. Even good Saints — friends of the Prophet — secretly 
 enjoy the idea of him being at last brought under petticoat 
 government, for it is believed that Brigham used unfair means 
 to obtain her, and that at last he only gained his object by 
 deluding her into the belief that the Lord had revealed to him 
 that it was her duty to become his wife. One thing is very 
 certain — he was as crazy over her as a silly boy over his first 
 love, much to the disgust of his more sober brethren, who felt 
 rather ashamed of the folly of their leader. At the theatre a 
 seat was reserved for her at his side, and in the ball-room the 
 same special attention was shown to her. He would open the 
 ball, and, after dancing with each of his other wives who 
 might be present — simply for appearance sake — the remainder 
 of the evening was devoted to her. For all that, his incon- 
 stant heart could not remain faithful to her, and old habits and 
 feelings, to all appearance, have come over him again, and he 
 has gone astray. 
 
 Julia Dean, the actress, was the first to draw him from 
 Amelia's side, and it would have been a sorry day for Amelia 
 if Julia had favoured the Prophet's suit. Then the charms of 
 Mary Van Cott touched his sensitive heart, to say nothing of 
 Eliza- Ann, his last but yet not his best-beloved. 
 
 With all this experience, and the constant evidences of the 
 fickleness of Brother Brigham's heart before her eyes, there is 
 no wonder that poor Amelia feels compelled to hold tight the 
 reins, now that they are in her own hands, for, if it is not 
 much to be known as Brigham's wife, it is a great deal to be 
 known as his favourite. As for the future, it is whispered 
 
174 -An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 that Brother Brigham has lately been " setting his house in 
 order," and in the ordinary course of nature, Amelia is almost 
 certain to outlive for many years her aged lord, she, therefore, 
 can afford to wait for the good time coming. But Amelia 
 knows that she would sink into oblivion if he were to cast her 
 off for another before his death. 
 
 MARY VAN COTT COBB YOUNG. 
 [Number Fourteen.] 
 Mary Van Cott Cobb — who became Brigham's wife after his 
 marriage to Amelia — is a very handsome woman, about 
 twenty-eight years of age. She is tall, slender, and graceful, 
 and has been married to the Prophet about six years. At 
 first he appeared to be very devoted to her, but Amelia soon 
 put a stop to that. Nevertheless, she has since her marriage 
 presented a little daughter to her lord, greatly to the annoy- 
 ance of Amelia, who has no children. She is said to be very 
 unhappy, and though Brigham has provided her with a fine 
 house and every comfort, yet she seldom sees him — not per- 
 haps more than once in three months, or so — though it is gene- 
 rally believed that his spirit is willing, but Amelia won't allow 
 it. 
 
 ELIZA-ANN WEBB DEE YOUNG. 
 [Number Fifteen.] 
 Eliza-Ann Webb Dee Young, commonly known as his " run- 
 away wife," is his last wedded and nineteenth living wife. If 
 his deceased wives were taken into consideration she would pro- 
 bably be his thirtieth. In this list I have put all the living 
 wives who are sealed to Brigham for eternity first, and thus I 
 count Eliza- Ann fifteen, but had I placed the proxy wives — 
 who are only Brigham's "'for time," in the list, she would, of 
 course, be the "nineteenth," as she is generally called. 
 
 " MISS " ELIZA R. SNOW. 
 [Number Sixteen.] 
 " Miss " Eliza R. Snow I mention here as I have not fol- 
 lowed the order of date. She and the three ladies whose 
 names I shall presently give, are the proxy wives of Brigham, 
 living with him. 
 
 ZINA D. HUNTINGTON JACOBS YOUNG, 
 [Number Seventeen.] 
 Ziua D. Huntington Jacobs Young is another proxy wife, 
 
The Wives of Brigham Young. 175 
 
 and a widow of the Prophet Joseph. She, too, will have to be 
 handed over in the day of reckoning. She has one grown up 
 daughter, of whom I shall presently speak under rather inte- 
 resting circumstances. 
 
 EMILY PARTRIDGE YOUNG. 
 
 [Number Eighteen.] 
 
 Emily Partridge Young is a tall, dark-eyed, handsome 
 woman, and she also is a " proxy " wife — a relict of Joseph. 
 When Joseph died, Brigham told his wives that they were at 
 liberty to choose whom they would for husbands ; and some 
 of them showed their appreciation of his generosity by choos- 
 ing him himself. Thus it was that Emily Partridge became 
 Brigham's wife. The Prophet has dealt kindly to his brother 
 Joseph Smith, through her, for she has quite a family of 
 children to be handed over with her. She was young and 
 handsome when the Prophet died, but perhaps it would be 
 wrong to suppose that that had anything to do with Brigham's 
 generosity to his brother, for it is generally believed that he 
 took all those wives of Joseph, from pure principle. 
 
 AUGUSTA COBB YOUNG. 
 [Number Nineteen.] 
 
 Augusta Cobb Young is a very fine-looking woman, and 
 must have been quite handsome in her youthful days. As I 
 before stated, she formerly lived in Boston, but hearing Brig- 
 ham preach, she fell in love with him, abandoned her home, 
 children, and husband, and, taking her youngest child with 
 her, went to Salt Lake City, and was married to the Prophet. 
 It was she who, when Brigham began to neglect her, wanted 
 to be sealed to Christ, but was ultimately added to the kingdom 
 of Joseph Smith. 
 
 Now these are the Prophet's wives — his real, living wives — 
 nineteen in all. How many spiritual wives he has had it 
 would be impossible to say. Probably he himself does not 
 know their number. 
 
 In his habits. and mode of living. Brigham Young is very 
 simple, or at least was so until recently. When I first knew 
 him he dressed in plain, home-spun, home-made, and every 
 article about his person and his houses was as plain and 
 unostentatious as could possibly be. But the importation of 
 Gentiles and Gentile goods, since the opening of the railway, 
 has worked a great change. His wives, who once carried sim- 
 
176 An Englishwoman in Utah, 
 
 plicity of dress almost to the verge of dowdyism, have now 
 acquired a taste for Eastern fashions. 
 
 The Prophet's first home in Utah was a little cottage which 
 is now known as the White House. — The same house, I 
 believe, which was valued at sixty thousand dollars, and which 
 Brother Teuant supposed he bought : — a more scandalous and 
 bai'efaced robbery never was perpetrated. 
 
 This is on the hill-side, north of the Eagle Gate, and is now 
 the residence of his first wife, Mrs. Augell Young. The Bee- 
 Hive House is the official residence of Brother Brigham. 
 There he used to reign supreme as " Governor " Young ; and 
 thence he now issues secular and ecclesiastical edicts to all who 
 acknowledge his sway. There is one lady resident in this 
 house — Mrs. Lucy Decker Young — and no one else is per- 
 mitted to intrude upon its privacy. Here the prophet has his 
 own private bedroom, and here he breakfasts when he has 
 been at home over night. 
 
 The Lion House is what ought to be the home of the 
 Prophet, for here nearly all his wives reside. (He has, however, 
 many other houses in the city.) On the basement floor is the 
 dining-room, kitchen, pantry, and other general offices. The 
 first floor is divided by a long passage with doors on each side. 
 On the right hand, about half-a-dozen wives with small fami- 
 lies find accommodation. On the left, at the entrance, is the 
 parlour, and the other rooms on that side are occupied by 
 mothers with larger families, and ladies who have a little more 
 than ordinary attention. The upper floor is divided into twenty 
 square bedrooms. 
 
 There is no extravagance in the furniture or apparel of these 
 wives, but they are comfortable and are kept neat and clean. 
 Again and again, the Prophet has declared that the ten-dollar 
 fees which are obtained from the divorces provide his wives 
 with pin-money. I do not believe a word of this, as the 
 amount thus obtained is far more than the avaricious soul of 
 the Prophet would allow to pass out of his hands for feminine 
 vanities. But I know of another source of income which is 
 open to the wives. They are allowed all the fruit — peaches 
 especially — which they or their children, can gather or dry. 
 This, in fact, is pretty nearly their only "pin-money :" their 
 " lord " is not a generous man, and they have to make the most 
 of trifles. 
 
 The Prophet usually dines in the Lion House at three in 
 the afternoon. Mrs. Twiss Young, as I mentioned before, 
 acts the part of housekeeper, and she acts it well. At three 
 
The Wives of BrigJiam Young. 177 
 
 punctually the bell rings, and the mothers with their children 
 move down to the dining-room. They are all seated at a very 
 long table which is lengthened by turning round at the end of 
 the room. Each mother has her children around her. Brig- 
 ham sits at the head of the table, with his favourite — when at 
 home — vis a vis, or on his left, and if a visitor is present he 
 sits at the Prophet's right hand. The repast is frugal but 
 ample, for Brigham is a sober and exceedingly economical 
 mau. This is the first time he sees his family. In the even- 
 ing at seven o'clock the bell again rings, and the mothers and 
 the children again fill the sides and end of the parlour. When 
 they are all seated, the patriarch enters, takes his seat at the 
 table and chats quietly with those who chance to go in with 
 him to prayers. When all the members of the family are 
 assembled, the door is closed. All kneel down and the 
 Prophet prays, invoking special blessings upon Zion and "the 
 kingdom." This is the last that his family see of him for the 
 day, unless they have occasion to seek him privately. 
 
 With his family Brother Brigham is said to be kind ; but it 
 is supposed to be more the awe which his position as Prophet 
 inspires, than the love which they bear him as a man which 
 renders him successful in managing them. At the same time, 
 that sweet familiarity is destroyed which should exist between 
 husband and wife, father and children. With such a number 
 of wives, he cannot possibly wait upon them in visiting, and 
 in the ball-room, and other places of amusement. With the 
 exception of his reigning favourite, whoever for the time she 
 may happen to be, no one expects his attentions. At the 
 theatre a full number of seats are reserved, and his wives 
 attend, or remain at home, as they please. They sit in the 
 body of the parquette, among the rest of the people ; but one 
 of the two proscenium boxes is reserved for him, and beside 
 him is a chair for the favourite Amelia. 
 
 When he goes to the ball, the same special attention is shown. 
 He dances' first with the favourite, and, if half-a-dozen more 
 of his wives have accompanied them, he will dance with each 
 of them once in the course of the evening ; but with the 
 favourite he dances as frequently as any youth in the ball-room 
 with his first maiden love. The Apostles and leading men of 
 the community, who dance attendance on him and desire his 
 favour, are sure to seek the pleasure of her hand and place her 
 in the same cotillion with Brigham, who is thus able all the 
 evening to enjoy her company. 
 
 Some of the Apostles and Elders look with pain upon this 
 
 N 
 
178 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 boyishness of the Prophet, and deplore it. Many of them are 
 attached to their first wives, and have shown them considera- 
 tion and attention which has not always pleased Brother 
 Brigham. I have heard more than one of them express a wish 
 that the Prophet had been a little more attentive to his own 
 first wife. 
 
179 
 
 CHAPTER XX. 
 
 "WAYS AND "WORKS OF THE SAINTS : — THE PROPHET'S 
 MILLINERY BILL. 
 
 When I arrived in Utah I found that nearly all the Elders 
 with whom I had formerly been acquainted had more than 
 one wife there. Many of these brethren called to see me, 
 and kindly insisted that I should visit their families ; but this 
 I felt was almost an impossibility. 
 
 My whole nature rebelled at the thought of visiting where 
 there were several wives ; for, in defiance of all the teaching 
 that I had listened to, and the tyranny to which we had sub- 
 mitted, human nature would assert itself, and my womanly 
 instincts revolted against the system. I could not endure the 
 thought of visiting those families in company with my husband. 
 I thought that perhaps sometimes I might venture alone; but, 
 oh, not with him, — no, not with him. It was bad enough and 
 humiliating enough for me to witness by myself the degrada- 
 tion of my sex ; but to do so in the presence of my husband 
 was more than I could calmly contemplate. I knew that I 
 should not be able to control myself, and might probably say 
 some very unpleasant things, which I should afterwards regret ; 
 for I so thoroughly loathed even the idea of polygamy at that 
 time that I was filled with a desire to let every one know and 
 understand just what my feelings were on that subject. 
 
 I had left New York against my will, although I had not 
 openly rebelled. I had never reproached my husband about 
 it, for I felt that his lot was irrevocably cast with the Mormons : 
 I knew that when I married him, and it was of no use now 
 for me to repine. I must go on to the end — there was no help 
 for me. The journey across the Plains, and all the discoveries 
 which I had made, had not tended to soothe my rebellious 
 heart, and I am not quite sure that I did not sow by the way 
 a little discontent among the sisters. The idea, however, that 
 such was the case did not, I must admit, fill me with much 
 repentance. To my husband I had said very little, but I 
 
 N 2 
 
i So An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 think he would bear me witness that what I did say was said 
 effectively. Now when I was brought face to face with practical 
 polygamy and could observe it in its most repulsive phases, I 
 hated it more than ever. 
 
 One day not long after our arrival, as we were taking a walk 
 together, I saw across the road a man gesticulating after an 
 eccentric fashion and beckoning to us. Mr. Stenhouse said, 
 " That is Brother Heber C. Kimball; " and I looked again with 
 interest to see what that celebrated Apostle was like. I had 
 both heard and read a great deal about Brother Heber, and 
 what I had learned was not at all of a character to impress 
 me favourably — he had been so severe in his denunciation of 
 every woman who dared to oppose polygamy. On the present 
 occasion his conduct was, I thought, anything but gentlemanly; 
 and when we crossed the road to him, — which on account of 
 his position in the Church — next to Brigham himself — we, of 
 course, were compelled to do, — my face must have betrayed 
 my feelings I am sure, for almost his first words after shaking 
 hands were, " Have you got the blues ? " 
 
 My answer was ready in a moment " I have had nothing 
 else ever since I came here." 
 
 " Well," he replied, " it is time that you should get rid of 
 them, and I am going to talk to you some day soon, for I rather 
 like your looks." 
 
 I did not like his looks much, however, nor was I at all 
 pleased with his manner. I do not say that I was altogether 
 without blame in feeling thus, for I was prejudiced. Of course 
 I was prejudiced. From the first moment when I heard that 
 polygamy was a doctrine of the Church, I was predisposed to 
 be dissatisfied with everything : I was henceforth not myself, 
 for the terrible apprehension of my own fate in the " Celestial 
 Order " had changed my whole nature, and that change of 
 itself was a great source of grief to me. I keenly realized 
 that I was no longer the light-hearted, pleasant companion to 
 my husband that I had been, and many a time and oft I wished 
 for his sake that I could die, for I felt that I never could be 
 happy in Mormonism again. 
 
 How many times have I knelt by my husband's couch when 
 he was unconscious of it, and have wept bitter tears of sorrow, 
 earnestly praying to the Lord to subdue my rebellious heart, 
 and, if it were necessary, rather than I should be a continual 
 annoyance to my husband, whom I loved with all my soul, that 
 every particle of love in my heart should be withered, so that 
 I might perchance, if without love, be able at least to do my 
 
Ways and Works of the Saints. i8l 
 
 duty. I fully realized that iu polygamy there could be no real 
 love ; and while my affections were still placed upon my hus- 
 band, it was torture to live in a community where I was 
 compelled to listen to the " counsels " which were given to 
 him, day after day, regardless of my presence, to take another 
 wife. I was too proud to notice any ordinary allusion that 
 was made to the subject before me ; but when the conversation 
 was turned in that direction by those who professed to be sin- 
 cere friends and to entertain a kindly interest in my welfare, 
 I was compelled to listen and reply. 
 
 In my unhappy condition, I thought that perhaps I might 
 derive some consolation from the sermons in the Tabernacle — 
 something that, might shed a softer light upon my rugged 
 pathway. But instead of obtaining consolation, I heard that 
 which aroused every feeling of my soul to rebellion, and 
 kindled again within me the indignation which I had been so 
 long struggling to conquer. I heard that woman was an in- 
 ferior being, designed by the Lord for the special glory and 
 exaltation of man, that she was a creature that should feel 
 herself honoured if he would only make her the mother of his 
 children — a creature who if very obedient and faithful through 
 all the trials and tribulations in life, might some day be 
 rewarded by becoming one of her husband's queens, but 
 should even then shine only by virtue of the reflected light 
 derived from the glory of her spouse and lord. He was to be 
 her " saviour," for he was all in all to her ; and it was through 
 him alone and at his will that she could obtain salvation. We 
 were informed that man was the crowning glory of creation, 
 for whom all things — woman included — were brought into 
 being ; and that the chief object of woman's existence was to 
 help man to his great destiny. 
 
 Not a sentence — indeed, not a word — did we ever hear as to 
 the possibility of womanly perfection and exaltation iu her 
 own right; and not only so, but, as if this were not enough to 
 crush all ambition out of our souls, we were instructed in some 
 new views of marriage. The great object of marriage, we 
 were told, was the increase of children. Those diviner objects 
 — the companionship of soul, the devotion of a refined and 
 pure affection, the indissoluble union of two existences — 
 were never presented to the yearning hearts of those poor 
 women who listened to the miserable harangues of the Taber- 
 nacle : such aspirations had nothing to do with the hard, 
 cruel facts of their life in polygamy. 
 
 And this I found was how the women of Utah were spirit 
 
1 82 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 ually sustained. Seldom, indeed, was taught anything better, 
 but frequently much that was worse. If Nature, asserting its 
 right to a full return of love, should manifest itself, and inspire 
 some of these poor wives to rebel against the lives which they 
 were compelled to lead in polygamy, then it would be said, in 
 the language of the Tabernacle, that the women were " filled 
 with the devil," and that unless they repented speedily, they 
 would " apostatize and go to hell ; " — an assurance which was 
 scarcely necessary, for many of those poor souls were endur- 
 ing as much as if they were there already. Or if some woman 
 was found objecting to polygamy on account of its crushing 
 and degrading effects upon women generally, then, as I just 
 said, she was told in the coarse language of Brigham Young 
 himself, that " such women had no business to complain ; it 
 was quite enough honour for them to be permitted to bear 
 children to God's holy Priesthood." 
 
 I found, therefore; that the sermons in the Tabernacle were 
 not calculated to help me much spiritually. I had neither 
 friend nor counsellor on earth to whom I could turn for help — 
 my God alone remained to me. But, ah, how different were 
 my ideas of God then, from those which I entertained before 
 and since. Once I could look upon the beauties of nature 
 and the varied experiences of human life, and while my soul 
 was lifted up with devotion and gratitude, I could see the 
 loving hand of my Heavenly Father in everything around me. 
 Now there was neither light nor beauty before my eyes — all 
 was dark and dreary ; there was nothing to draw away my 
 heart from such sad thoughts as these. It was painfully clear 
 to my understanding, then as now, that in Mormonism woman 
 was to lose her personal identity. All that Christianity had 
 done to elevate her was to be ruthlessly set aside and trampled 
 under foot, and she was instantly to return to the position 
 which she occupied in the darkest ages of the world's 
 existence. 
 
 I had at that time the daily and hourly cares of a family 
 devolving upon me, and had not therefore much leisure to 
 spend in visiting my friends even if I had desired to do so. 
 Notwithstanding that, however, I had abundant opportunities 
 of observation ; and thus my experience of Mormonism and 
 polygamy in Utah is much the same as that of any Mormon 
 woman of ordinary sense ; I only tell what others could relate 
 if they had the inclination to do so. It was not possible for 
 me to live in Salt Lake City without being brought face to face 
 with polygamy in some shape or other every day of my life. 
 
Ways and Works of the Saints. 183 
 
 Had it been otherwise, and if remaining at home would have 
 kept it from my view, I probably never should have had the 
 courage to enter a house where it was practised. To those 
 who know nothing of that degrading system this may seem 
 rather an exaggeration of feeling ; and yet, even at that early 
 day, I had seen so much of the folly and weakness of the 
 Mormon brethren, both in London and New York, before we 
 went to Utah, and had witnessed so many evil results of their 
 teachings, that it was with the greatest difficulty that I could 
 control my feelings sufficiently to call upon any family where 
 there was more than one wife. And yet what I knew then 
 was nothing in comparison to what I afterwards witnessed — 
 yes, that I myself endured. 
 
 During the Avinter, although I visited very little, I attended 
 a good many parties at the Social Hall ; but I did so more 
 from a wish to be agreeable to my husband than from any 
 pleasure that they afforded me, for life had long since been losing 
 almost all its charms for me. How many times have I gazed 
 wistfully at those lofty mountains which surrounded the city, 
 and felt that they were indeed my prison walls. How bitterly 
 have I realized that I should never be able to go beyond them. 
 But in a new country, with a family to provide for, a mother 
 has not much time to waste in pining, even if it be for liberty 
 itself, and I would willingly draw the veil over that portion of 
 my life. 
 
 As my husband had been on mission for so many years and 
 had spent all his time in the service of the Church, with the 
 exception of a few brief months before we left New York — 
 when he was engaged on the staff of the New York Herald — 
 I naturally enough thought that when we reached Zion his 
 occupation would be gone. There would be no need of 
 preaching to the Saints : on the contrary they would be able 
 to teach us ; and we should have to find out what we could do 
 in this new country to support ourselves and our children. In 
 this I was not mistaken. 
 
 Now among the "absolutely necessary " things which I had 
 brought with me from New York, were about three hundred 
 dollars' worth of millinery goods, Avhich I had secreted among 
 our other properties, thinking that they would very probably 
 come in useful to the fair daughters of Zion — notwithstanding 
 that the Elders had told me of fiery sermons, delivered by 
 the Prophet himself, condemning all feminine display, and that 
 the sisters would scorn to wear Gentile fashions. I knew my 
 own sex too well to believe that all this was strictly true, and 
 
184 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 I felt certain that I should find, even among the Saints, some 
 weak sisters who would appreciate my thonghtfulness in 
 bringing such articles for their use. I had also noticed that 
 the American Elders themselves would frequently inquire 
 where they could buy the best gloves and the prettiest ribbons 
 and laces, and that looked a little suspicious. 
 
 Quite a number of such articles, therefore, found their way 
 into my list of " absolute necessaries," and I know that my 
 husband was secretly quite at a loss to know what had become 
 of a certain sum of money which he was aware 1 had ob- 
 tained from the sale of some of our things in New York. 
 But my foresight in this instance was very useful to us when 
 we arrived in Zion. 
 
 One day when Mr. Stenhouse was absent seeking employ- 
 ment, 1 thought I would make a display of my treasures and 
 surprise him on his return. Accordingly, with the assistance 
 of our faithful domestic, whom I had brought with me across 
 the Plains, and who had also lived with me in Switzerland, 
 we contrived to place two or three planks in such a way as 
 to make a rough table on which to display the goods. I 
 had been secretly at work for about two weeks, trimming the 
 bonnets and hats, and making a number of head-dresses, such 
 as were worn in New York when we left ; and, although 
 we had been three mouths on the Plains, and quite a month 
 in Utah, yet those bonnets and head-dresses were of the very 
 latest style to the ladies of Salt Lake City. 
 
 My Swiss girl was quite a carpenter, and when my tem- 
 porary table was arranged, I placed a pretty-looking cloth over 
 it to hide its defects, and then began to arrange the various 
 articles. I found that I had a much finer assortment than I 
 had imagined, for I had bought them at different times, and 
 had packed them away hurriedly, lest Mr. Stenhouse or some 
 of the other Elders — for there were generally one or two in 
 the house — should object to my taking them. When my 
 table was filled, and I found that I had still more to display, I 
 was very much pleased, for I saw in my hats and bonnets, 
 flour, meat, and potatoes for my children, and I felt hopeful, 
 for one of the sisters had assured me that I should be certain 
 to sell them. The next thing to do was to advertise my stock. 
 After some reflection, I remembered another of the sisters, 
 who was quite a good talker, and who felt very kindly towards 
 me. I had known her in England — she had been in Utah 
 about three years, and her husband had by that time been 
 blessed with two other wives. She used to say that she had 
 
Ways and Works of the Saints. 185 
 
 no patience with a get of grumbling women, who did not 
 know what was good for them. I do not think that the 
 blessedness enjoyed by her husband was shared by the 
 two wives, for more forlorn-looking women I never saw. 
 My husband, however, told me that this was none of my 
 business, and I believed him, of course, after the fashion of all 
 good wives. 
 
 But to return. This good sister, besides being an excellent 
 talker, had really nothing else to do except visiting her neigh- 
 bours, for the other wives now took entire charge of all the 
 household duties. So I made her a present of a new bonnet, 
 as I knew that then in two days my goods would be quite 
 sufficiently advertised; and in this I was not mistaken. 
 
 Almost the first visitors who called to see me were a lady 
 and her daughter. I talked freely to her and answered her 
 inquiries, and she told me that she herself had had some 
 experience in the business. " In Salt Lake City," she said, 
 " I think you will not be able to sell those goods; they are too 
 fashionable for the people here, and there is no encouragement 
 given to any one in this business. I am afraid you will be 
 disappointed." 
 
 I believed every word she said, and felt all my airy, hopeful 
 castles begin to crumble away. Before she left, however, she 
 very kindly offered to purchase all my goods at a low figure 
 and thus relieve me of the anxiety and trouble of selling them. 
 But I had had a little experience in the world, — although 
 probably I appeared to her somewhat innocent, — and I thought 
 that if she could sell them, there was a chance at least that I 
 also might be able to do so. At any rate, I resolved to try, 
 and I told her so, when she left me with many kind wishes for 
 my success. But what she had said during her visit had 
 chilled my enthusiasm, and I pictured all my pretty newly- 
 made articles becoming soiled and faded, with no one to buy 
 them; while the little ones, barefooted — like so many children 
 in Utah then — were running about crying for bread which I 
 could not buy them. I felt sad, and, if I must confess it, I sat 
 down and had a good cry. 
 
 Just at that moment I heard a knock at the door, and 
 hastily drying ray eyes, I opened it, and there stood my talk- 
 ative friend. 
 
 " Stop crying!" she exclaimed. "What is the matter, my 
 dear? Oh do stop crying. I don't like crying women: we 
 see so many of them among the Saints of God that it is really a 
 shame and a disgrace. Tell me what is the matter ? Has 
 
1 86 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 your husband got another wife ? or are you afraid he won't be 
 able to get one ? Come, tell me ! " 
 
 All this was uttered in a breath, and without the possibility 
 of my putting in a word by way of reply or remonstrance. At 
 last I told her that I had just had a visit from one of the 
 sisters and her daughter, whom I described. 
 
 " I know." she said ; " I met her as I was coming here. Do 
 you know who she is ? " 
 
 "No," I replied, "I do not think she told me her name; 
 she simply came to look at the goods." 
 
 " And did she tell you that they would sell well, and 
 that they are the best investment that you could have 
 made ? " 
 
 " Quite the contrary," I said, " she discouraged me so much 
 that I could not help shedding tears." 
 
 " Well now," she answered, " that was Mrs. C , one of 
 
 our milliners here ; and you suppose she was going to en- 
 courage you to set up an opposition shop, do you? If you do, 
 why, you've got something yet to learn." Indeed I felt that I 
 had got a great deal to learn. 
 
 " Now I have come to tell you quite a different story," she 
 said. " This very afternoon you will have at least a dozen ladies 
 here; and ladies, too, who have got the money to pay for what 
 they have, and who won't pay you in salt chips and whet- 
 stones." 
 
 " Do they ever pay in such things ? " I inquired. 
 
 " Why certainly they do. That is the kiud of pay that the 
 good Saints generally expect their poor brethren and sisters 
 to be satisfied with, and to feed their hungry children upon. 
 But I say that this is wrong. Not that I want to set myself 
 up as a judge in Zion, or that I should criticize the actions of 
 the brethren, God forbid! But when I see the rich brethren 
 grinding the faces of the poor in that way, why, I say that it is 
 wrong. But you must not take any such pay as that. You 
 may not always get money, but you can at least get flour, 
 potatoes, aud molasses. Now, I tell you that you are going to 
 sell every article that you have got, and I shall take pleasure 
 in recommending you and talking about it. Why, I've been to 
 about two score people already ; but, there ! I see your hus- 
 band coming, and I must go ! " My husband, indeed, was 
 there. He was not very fond of my talkative friend, and 
 passed her by with a polite salutation only; but when he saw 
 what I had been doing, the light dawned upon his mind, he 
 no longer wondered what had become of the dollars in New 
 
Ways and Works of the Sai?its. 187 
 
 York, and, astonished at my success, he congratulated me 
 upon the good use to which I had put them. 
 
 After this interview I felt quite encouraged, and I very soon 
 found that my friend's predictions were correct. I had no 
 difficulty in selling, and I created quite a little business, 
 although we lived a considerable distance from Main Street. 
 And what with my efforts, and some employment which my 
 husband obtained, we contrived to get through our first winter 
 in Salt Lake City. 
 
 But I anticipate. 
 
 One day my husband informed me that there was a house 
 about to be vacated shortly, and thatBrigham Young had told 
 him we had better take it. It was pleasantly situated near 
 the Tabernacle, and, as houses then were, it was quite a 
 desirable residence. We had it thoroughly cleaned, and then 
 moved in. When I arrived in the evening I found that Mr. 
 Stenhouse, with the assistance of our faithful Swiss girl, had 
 arranged everything as the goods arrived from the other 
 house; and the place looked so clean, and there was such a 
 bright fire burning that I felt that we now had really some- 
 thing like a home, and my heart was filled with gratitude. 
 
 Soon after our establishment in our new home, Brigham sent 
 for me and asked me to make a handsome bonnet for his then 
 favourite wife Emmeline. lie left it entirely to my taste; I was 
 to make just what I pleased, so that it suited her and gave 
 satisfaction. 
 
 I made my bonnet ; and when I presented it, Brigham 
 Young was so pleased that he immediately gave me an order 
 to make one for each of his wives. I was very much pleased at 
 this, for we needed furniture and many other necessaries very 
 badly, and I thought that this would enable me to get them. I 
 expected, of course, that my account would be paid in money, 
 for I did not suppose that the Prophet of the Lord would offer 
 me chips or whetstones : he could afford to pay cash, and, 
 of course, would do so. He had furnished me with some 
 material out of his own store — for Brigham Young had a dry- 
 goods and grocery store of his own at that time — aud I was 
 to furnish the remainder. It was very little indeed that he 
 supplied, and therefore my account was likely to amount to a 
 considerable sum, for almost every wife had at least one bonnet 
 which she wished made over with new trimmings, besides the 
 new one. 
 
 I worked constantly for three weeeks, with the assistance of 
 two girls, to each of whom I paid six dollars a week besides 
 
1 88 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 board. This was a difficult thing for me to do at that time in 
 Utah, for money was seldom seen there then ; but I was 
 rejoicing in the prospect of the comfortable new furniture 
 which I should have when it was all done. Furniture at that 
 time was very expensive ; there was nothing better than white 
 pine articles, stained or painted. The commonest kind of 
 wooden rocking-chair cost fifteen dollars, and common painted 
 wooden chairs were six dollars a piece, with everything else in 
 proportion. This being our first winter, we had not been able 
 to get much, and I thought I would devote the proceeds of 
 the work I was doing for Brigham to fitting up the house a 
 little; and, with what I earned from my other customers, I 
 contrived to pay my help, so as to have all the rest clear. 
 
 All was completed, and great satisfaction expressed at the 
 result of my labours. So I asked my husband to present my 
 account and, if possible, get it settled ; it amounted to about 
 275 dollars, although I had dealt very liberally with the 
 Prophet, and had charged for the goods but little more than 
 they cost me. When he returned, I hastened to meet him, for 
 I had partly selected the furniture and I wanted to go and 
 purchase it. But I was like poor Perrette, the milkmaid, who 
 counted her chickens a little too soon ; for Mr. Stenhouse told 
 me that Brother Brigham had given orders that the amount 
 should be credited to us for tithing ! What a shock this was 
 to me; for that sum, small as it may appeal", was my whole 
 fortune at the time, and it was gone at one sweep ! " Can it 
 be possible," I said, " that he can be so mean as that ? 
 Where can his conscience be ? or has he any; to deprive me of 
 my hard earnings in this way ? He shall not do it — I will 
 make him pay me." 
 
 My indignation was so great that I did not reflect how 
 imprudent I was to talk thus of the Prophet of the Lord; but 
 my husband said, " What can you do? You cannot help 
 yourself. You can do nothing but submit. Let us try to for- 
 get it; or, if not, it will perhaps be a lesson to us." But I 
 did not forget it and never could, although I tried very hard; 
 and when many months had passed, and I no longer suffered 
 from the effects of my loss, I still remembered it, and I always 
 shall remember the way in which Brigham paid for his wives' 
 bonnets. 
 
£ 4 
 
 & 
 <* 
 
1 89 
 
 CHAPTER XXL 
 
 MYSTERIES OF THE ENDOWMENT HOUSE FEARFUL OATHS 
 
 AND SECRET CEREMONIES. 
 
 Not many weeks after our arrival in Salt Lake City, my 
 husband told me that we might now enjoy the privilege of 
 going through the Endowment House. 
 
 This was intended as a great favour to us, on the part of the 
 authorities, for most people have to wait a long while before 
 receiving their Endowments; but my husband's influence and 
 position in the Church was, I presume, the reason why we 
 were admitted so soon. 
 
 Now, I had heard so much of the Endowments and the 
 Endowment House that I quite dreaded to pass through this 
 ordeal. The idea of the whole ceremony was, that thereby we 
 should receive the special grace of God; be united, man and 
 woman, making one perfect creature; receive our inheritance 
 as children of God ; and, in fact, be made partakers of the 
 plenitude of every blessing. 
 
 I knew well that no marriage was considered binding unless 
 it had been celebrated in that place. I knew that the Saints, 
 however long they might have been wedded, were under the 
 necessity of being reunited there before they could be con- 
 sidered lawfully married and their children legitimate. Accord- 
 ing to the highest Mormon authority, no marriage is valid 
 unless the, ceremony is performed in the Temple. The Temple 
 is not yet built, and as Joseph, the Prophet, said, " No fellow 
 can be damned for doing the best he knows how," the Saints, 
 meanwhile, do " the next best thing," and are married in the 
 Endowment House. I knew that there and then the faithful 
 were said to be "endowed" with their heavenly inheritance. 
 I saw how absolutely needful it was that my husband and my- 
 self should become partakers of those mysteries; but I was 
 influenced by the strange stories which I had heard of 
 unhallowed and shameful doings in that same Endowment 
 House, and consequently I feared to enter in. 
 
190 An EnglisJnvoman in Utah. 
 
 My fears were not, however, altogether groundless or 
 visionary. It has heen whispered— falsely perhaps — that in 
 that Endowment House scenes have been enacted so fearful 
 that words would falter on the lips of those who told the tale 
 concerning them. I have lieard of such things from men of 
 integrity and honour ; but they were not eye-witnesses of 
 what they related, and they could not, or wonld not, give me 
 their authorities. One thing I am certain of ; if such horrible 
 deeds were ever perpetrated within tbose walls, there remains 
 no living witness to testify of them. The lips of those who 
 alone could tell the whole truth are sealed in a silence which 
 the trump of doom alone shall break. 
 
 It was, of course, no fear of any personal violence or any 
 painful disclosures in that respect, that made me reluctant to 
 receive my Endowments, for at that time I was by profession 
 apparently a good Mormon ; if I had my doubts and mis- 
 givings, I had them in common with nine-tenths of the Mor- 
 mon women, and had therefore nothing to fear. The true 
 cause of my reluctance was of a more delicate and personal 
 nature. I had been informed that, if I refused to go, my hus- 
 haud could not go alone; he would be compelled to take another 
 wife, and go with her. This was not all. I found that it was 
 quite common for the Elders to take a second wife when they 
 took their first Endowments, and thus, as they coarsely expressed 
 it, '•' kill two birds with one stone." Moreover, I had heard of 
 men who feared to introduce Polygamy into their households, 
 presenting to their wives, while going through the House, a 
 young girl as their intended bride, feeling sure that the wife 
 would not dare to make a scene before the Assembly. How 
 could I know that my husband also had not such an idea in his 
 mind ? True, I trusted him implicitly, and did not believe it 
 possible that he could deceive me. But had not men who 
 were universally known for their integrity and honour acted in 
 the same way to their wives ; and with so many evidences of 
 the best and most honest natures being corrupted by the 
 unrighteous teachings of their religion, could I be blamed for 
 doubting him whom I loved best ? 
 
 There was also another reason why I particularly objected 
 to passing through the Endowment House. I had been told 
 many strange and revolting stories about the ceremonies which 
 were there performed, for it was said that in the Nauvoo Temple 
 the most disgraceful things were done. About what was done 
 at Nauvoo I can say nothing, as it was before my time, but 
 still it is only fair to say, that people who in every other rela- 
 
Mysteries of the Endowment House. 191 
 
 tion in life I should have deemed most reliable and trustworthy 
 were my informants respecting those strange stories. Of the 
 Endowments in Utali I can, of course, speak more positively, 
 as I myself passed through them ; aud I wish to say most dis- 
 tinctly that, although the initiation of the Saints into " The 
 Kingdom," appears now to my mind as a piece of the most 
 ridiculous absurdity, there was, nevertheless, nothing in it in- 
 decent or immoral — of which the reader himself shall pre- 
 sently be the judge. 
 
 It is an invariable rule among the Mormons, as I have before 
 intimated, for every man or woman to mind his or her own busi- 
 ness, and nothing else. Thus it was, that until I myself went 
 through the Endowments, I was totally ignorant of what they 
 were ; although, of course, many people with whom I had 
 daily intercourse could easily have enlightened me if they 
 had been thus miuded. Besides this, every Mormon's mouth 
 was closed by the oath of that same Endowment House — the 
 penalty of which was death, a penalty which no one doubted 
 would be sternly enforced. Thus, totally in the dark, and 
 remembering only the strange stories told about " washings " 
 and " anointings," and an imitation of the Garden of Eden, 
 with Adam and Eve clothed in their own innocence alone, it 
 can be no wonder that any modest woman should wish to 
 evade all participation in such scenes. 
 
 I spoke to my husband about it, and he tried to reassure me, 
 but what he said had rather a contrary effect. 
 
 Before we left England, when speaking of these ceremonies, 
 my husband told me that they were simply a privilege and a 
 matter of choice. But what a choice ! I might go or refuse to 
 go ; but, if I refused, he must — if he went through it all — take 
 another wife in my place, and, as I knew, there would be no 
 difficulty in finding one. I should inconsequence be known as 
 a rebellious woman ; annoyance and indignity would be heaped 
 upon me ; while within my own home I should be compelled 
 to occupy the position of second wife — as the one who is 
 married first in the Endowment House is considered the first 
 wife, aud has the control of everything. 
 
 My husband told me that now he was most anxious to go ; he 
 had already been notified three times that such was his privi- 
 lege, and there were, he said, good reasons why we ought 
 gladly to accept the opportunity. It was an honour, he said, 
 for which many people had waited for years. 
 
 My husband reminded me that we had been married by a 
 Gentile, and while living among Gentiles, and that, as I said 
 
192 An Eiiglishzvoman in Utah. 
 
 before, our rnai'riage was not valid, and our children were not 
 legitimate. Ouly those children of ours who were born after 
 the ceremony in the Endowment House would he legitimate; 
 the others were outcasts from the " Kingdom " unless we 
 adopted tbem after our initiation, and thus made them heirs. 
 In any case, poor children, they could never be considered 
 the real heirs; they could only be " heirs by adoption." 
 
 So I agreed to go, trying to pei'suade myself that it was a 
 sacred duty ; for, although my faith in Mormonism had been 
 roughly shaken, I still believed that its origin was divine. 
 
 The Temple robe, which is a long, loose, flowing garment, 
 made of white linen or bleached muslin, and reaching to the 
 ankle, had been placed upon us just before we took the oaths. 
 It was gathered to a band about twelve inches long, which 
 rested on the right shoulder, passed across the breast, and came 
 together under the left arm, and was then fastened by a linen 
 belt. This leaves the left arm entirely free. The veil consists 
 of a large square of Swiss muslin, gathered in one corner so 
 as to form a sort of cap to fit the head ; the remainder falls 
 down as a veil. The men wear the same kind of under gar- 
 ment as the women, and their robes are the same, but their 
 bead-dress is a round piece of linen drawn up with a string 
 and a bow in front, something after the fashion of a Scotch 
 cap. All good Mormons, after they have received their first 
 Endowments, get whole suits of Temple robes made on pur- 
 pose for them, so that they may be ready for use at auy time 
 when they are needed. All marriages in the Endowment 
 House are performed in these robes, and in them all Saints 
 who have received their Endowments are buried. Besides our 
 robes Ave were instructed to take Avith us a bottle of the best 
 olive oil. 
 
 At seven o'clock in the' morning of the day appointed, we 
 presented ourselves at the door of the Endowment House, and 
 were admitted by Brother Lyon, the Mormon poet. Every- 
 thing within was beautifully neat and clean, and a solemn 
 silence pervaded the whole place. The only sound that could 
 be heard was the splashing of water, but Avhence the sound 
 proceeded we could not see. In spite of myself, a feeling of 
 dread and uncertainty respecting Avhat I had to go through 
 would steal over my mind, and I earnestly Avished that the day 
 was over. 
 
 We waited patiently for a little while, and presently a man 
 entered and seated himself at a table placed there for that pur- 
 pose, upon which Avas a large book. He opened the book, and 
 
Mysteries of the Endowment House. 193 
 
 then calling each person in turn, he took their names and ages, 
 and the names of their fathers and mothers, and carefully en- 
 tered each particular in the book Our bottles of oil were 
 then taken from us, and we were supposed to be ready for the 
 ceremony. 
 
 First we were told to take off our shoes, and leave them in 
 the anteroom, and then to take up our bundles and pass into 
 another room beyond. This was a large bath-room, which was 
 divided down the middle by a curtain of heavy material placed 
 there for the purpose of separating the men from the women. 
 Here my husband left me — he going to the men's and I to the 
 women's division. In the bath-room were two or three lar<ze 
 bathing-tubs supplied by streams of hot and cold water. We 
 were as much concealed from the men as if we had been in an 
 entirely separate room, and everything was very quiet and 
 orderly. 
 
 Miss Eliza R. Snow, the poetess, and a Mrs. Whitney, were 
 the officiating attendants on that occasion. The former con- 
 ducted me to one of the bathing-tubs, and placing me in it, she 
 proceeded to wash me from the crown of my head to the soles 
 of my feet. As she did this she repeated various formulas to 
 the effect that I was now washed clean from the blood of this 
 generation and should never, if I remained faithful, be partaker 
 in the plagues and miseries which were about to come upon 
 the earth. When I had thus been washed clean, she wiped 
 me dry, and then taking a large horn filled with the olive oil 
 which we had brought, she anointed me. The oil was poured 
 from the horn by Mrs. Whitney into the hand of Eliza Snow, 
 who then applied it to me. The horn was said to be the horn 
 of plenty which, like the widow's cruse of oil, would never fail 
 as long as the ordinance should continue to be administered. 
 In addition to the crown of my head, my eyes, ears, and mouth 
 were also anointed ; my eyes that they might be quick to see, 
 my ears that they might be apt at hearing, and my mouth that 
 I might with wisdom speak the words of eternal life. She 
 also anointed my feet, that they might be swift to run in the 
 ways of the Lord. I was then given a certain garment to 
 put on. 
 
 Now this garment is one peculiar to the Mormon people. 
 It is made so as to envelope the whole body, and it is worn 
 night and day. I was told that alter having once put it on, I 
 must never wholly take it off before putting on another, but 
 that I should change one half at a time, and that if I did so 
 I should be protected from disease, and even from death itself; 
 
 o 
 
194 -Am Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 for the bullet of an enemy would not penetrate that garment, 
 and that from it even the dagger's point should be turned 
 aside. It has been said that the Prophet Joseph carelessly 
 left off this peculiar garment on the day of his death, and that, 
 had he not done so, the rifles of his assassins would have been 
 harmless against him. 
 
 When thus arrayed, I proceeded to put on a white night- 
 dress and skirt, stockings, and white linen shoes. Anew name 
 was then whispered into my ear, which I was told I must uever 
 mention to any living soul except my husband in the Endow- 
 ment House. This name was taken from the Bible, and I was 
 given to understand that it would be the name whereby I 
 should be admitted into the celestial kingdom. This was of 
 course very gratifying. A circumstance, however, occurred 
 which took from me all the pride which might have been mine 
 in the possession of a new name. There was among our num- 
 ber a deaf woman ; Mrs. Whitney had to tell her her name 
 once or twice over, loud enough for me to hear, and thus I 
 found that her new name, as well as mine, was Sarah. To 
 make the matter worse, another sister whispered, " Why, that 
 is my name too." This entirely dispelled any enthusiasm 
 which otherwise I might have felt. I could well understand 
 that I might yet become a Sarah in Israel, but if we all were 
 Sarahs, there would not be much distinction or honour in being 
 called by that name. As a matter of course I supposed that 
 the men would all become Abrahams. 
 
 Our washing and anointing being now over, we were ready 
 for the initiation — there were about fifteen couples in all. 
 
 A voice from behind the curtain asked Miss Snow if we 
 were ready, and was answered in the affirmative. We wei*e 
 then arranged in a row, the curtain was drawn aside, and we 
 stood face to face with the men, who had, of course, on their 
 side of the curtain, been put through the same ordeal. I felt 
 dreadfully nervous, for I did not know what was coming next, 
 and I could not quite dismiss from my mind the stories that I 
 had heard about these mysteries. But in spite of my ner- 
 vousness, curiosity was strong in me at that moment, as it 
 was, I suppose, in the others ; for, as soon as the curtain was 
 drawn aside, we all cast our eyes in the direction of the men. 
 They, as might be expected, were looking in our direction, and 
 when I beheld them I must say that my sympathies were 
 drawn out towards the poor creatures. However little vanity 
 or personal pride they possessed, they must have felt it 
 unpleasant to have to appear in the presence of ladies in such 
 
Mysteries of the Endozvment House. 195 
 
 a dress — or rather undress; and notwithstanding the solemn 
 meaning of the ceremony, there was just the ghost of a smile 
 upon our faces as we looked at each other and dropped our 
 eyes again. To any one who did not feel as we did the religious 
 nature of the initiation, the scene must have appeared perfectly 
 ludicrous. In fact, some of us felt it so. One sister, just as 
 the curtain was drawn up and we came in full view of our 
 lords, cried out, " Oh dear, oh dear, where shall I go ? What 
 shall I do ? " This, as may he supposed, caused a laugh, which 
 was, of course, immediately suppressed. 
 
 We could see how the men looked, but of our own appear- 
 ance we could not so easily judge. Certainly, we must have 
 looked anything but handsome in our white garments, and 
 with the oil trickling down our faces and into our eyes, making 
 them smart and look red. There was nothing, however, for 
 us to do but to submit quietly and make the best of it we 
 could. Ashamed as I was, I thought I might venture to look 
 at my husband ; there could be no harm in that ; but when I 
 saw his demure-looking countenance and his efforts to keep 
 his clothing in order, I thought I should be compelled to laugh 
 outright, for I could see that his thoughts were more occupied 
 about his personal appearance than with the solemnity of the 
 occasion. The men were all dressed in the same kind of gar- 
 ment as the women — drawers and shirt all in one, very much 
 like those which are used for children to sleep in, and over 
 that an ordinary white shirt, such as men always wear ; that, 
 with socks and white linen shoes, completed their toilet. 
 
 Clad after this interesting fashion, we sat opposite to each 
 other for several minutes, and then my husband and myself 
 were instructed to come forward and kneel at the altar while 
 all the rest remained standing. It is the custom thus to select 
 two persons, and we were either picked out by chance, or it 
 might be, as my husband was thought a good deal of by the 
 authorities, that they considered he would feel honoured by the 
 preference. 
 
 Suddenly a voice was heard speaking to some one, who also 
 replied. This voice from the unseen was supposed to be the 
 voice of Elohim in conversation with Jehovah, and the words 
 that were used were much the same as those contained in the 
 first chapter of the book of Genesis, describing the creation 
 of the world. Finally, Jehovah and Elohim declare their 
 intention to come down and visit the earth. This they do, 
 and pronounce all that they behold very good ; but they declare 
 that it is necessary that one of a higher order of intelligence 
 
 o 2 
 
196 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 than the brute creation should be placed in the world to 
 govern and control all else. 
 
 Michael the Archangel is now called, and he is placed upon 
 the earth under the name of Adam, and power is given him 
 over all the beasts of the field, the fowls of the air, and the 
 fishes of the sea. Moreover, the fruits of the earth are all 
 given to him for his sustenance and pleasure; but he is strictly 
 charged, as in Bible story, not to eat of one particular tree 
 which stands in the midst of the garden. This tree is repre- 
 sented by a small real evergreen, and a few bunches of dried 
 raisins are hung upon it as fruit. 
 
 It is now discovered that it is not good for man to be alone ; 
 Elohim and Jehovah, therefore, hold another conversation 
 upon that subject, and they finally determine to give a com- 
 panion to Adam. They, therefore, cause a deep sleep to fall 
 upon Michael — or Adam as he is now called — and they pre- 
 pare to operate upon him. Here we were all instructed to 
 assume the attitude of deep sleep by dropping our heads upon 
 our breasts. Elohim and Jehovah then come down and go 
 through the motions of removing a rih from the side of the 
 sleeper, which said rib appears immediately upon the scene in 
 the person of Eliza R. Snow. Elohim and Jehovah are gene- 
 rally represented by two of the Twelve Apostles. When 
 Brigham is present he plays a prominent part. 
 
 And now the devil makes his appearance in the person of 
 W. W. Phelps. Phelps used always to personate the devil in 
 the Endownments, and the rule suited him admirably. He is 
 dead now, but whether it has made any difference in his status 
 I cannot tell, nor do I know who has succeeded him in his 
 office. The devil wears a very tight-fitting suit of black mus- 
 lin, with knee-breeches and black stockings and slippers. This 
 dress had all the appearance of a theatrical costume, and the 
 man looked as much like what one might imagine the devil 
 would look as he possibly could. He began by trying to 
 scrape acquaintance with Eve, whom he meets while taking a 
 walk in the garden. The innocent, unsuspecting woman is 
 fascinated by his attentions. Father Adam — who seems to 
 have had a touch of the Mormon about him — perhaps was not 
 the most attentive of husbands ; or he may have made the 
 same mistake as that which so many of his sons have since made 
 — neglecting to pay the same attentions after marriage as he 
 was wont to before — and left his young wife to the mercy of 
 the tempter. However that may be, Satan and Eve are soon 
 discovered in conversation together, and Eve appears to be 
 
Hysterics of the Endowment House. 197 
 
 particularly pleased with Satan. At length he offers her some 
 of the fruit of the forbidden tree, and after some little demur 
 she accepts it and eats thereof. 
 
 Then the devil leaves her, Adam makes his appearance, and 
 Eve persuades him also to eat of the fruit of the tree. After 
 this they make a dumb show of perceiving their condition, 
 and an apron of white linen is produced, on which are sewn 
 pieces of green silk, in imitation of fig leaves, and in these they 
 both attire themselves. 
 
 Then all the brethren and sisters produced similar aprons 
 which they had brought with them on purpose, and these they 
 put on, as Adam and Eve had already done. Elohim now 
 appeared again, and called Adam ; but Adam was afraid, and 
 hid himself in the garden with Eve. The curse was now pro- 
 nounced upon the serpent — the devil — who reappears upon 
 his hands and knees, making a hissing noise as one might sup- 
 pose a serpent would do. We were then all driven out of the 
 Garden of Eden into another room which represented the 
 world — and this ended the " First Degree." 
 
 We were now supposed to be out in the world, earning our 
 daily bread by the sweat of our brows, and we were informed 
 that although we had been driven out from the presence of the 
 Lord, yet a plan of salvation would be devised for us, by 
 which we should be enabled to return to our first estate. 
 We were to wait patiently until this plan should be disclosed 
 to us. 
 
 There was here such a mixture of persons and events that 
 I could not exactly follow the idea that was intended to be 
 conveyed — if there was any idea at all. Men representing the 
 ancient prophets entered, and gave instructions to the people to 
 prepare themselves for the first coming of our Saviour upon 
 earth. Then we were taught certain pass-words and grips ; 
 and then we were all arranged in a circle. The women 
 covered their faces with their veils, and we all kneeled down, 
 and, with our right hands uplifted towards heaven, we took the 
 solemn oath of obedience and secrecy. 1 We swore that by 
 every means in our power we would seek to avenge the death 
 of Joseph Smith, the Prophet, upon the Gentiles who had 
 caused his murder, and that we would teach our children to 
 do so ; we swore, that without murmur or questioning, we 
 would implicitly obey the commands of the priesthood in 
 
 1 I myself made a movement with my hand— for I believed that my life 
 was at stake, and I dared not do otherwise. The words of the oath I did 
 not utter. [See explanation at the end of the chapter.] 
 
198 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 everything ; we swore that we would not commit adultery — 
 which, with reference to the men, was explained to mean the 
 taking of wives without the permission of the holy Priesthood ; 
 and we swore that we would never, under any circumstances, 
 reveal that which transpired in the Endowment House. 
 
 The penalty for breaking this oath, which was worded in 
 the most startling and impressive way, was then explained to 
 us. His bowels were — while he was yet living — to be torn 
 from him, his throat was to be cut from ear to ear, and his 
 heart and tongue were to be cut out. In the world to come, 
 everlasting damnation woidd be his portion. 
 
 Let not the reader think that this was merely an imaginary 
 penaltj', or tbat it was expressed merely for the purpose of 
 frightening the weak-minded ; for, as will be shown, punish- 
 ments quite as horrible as that have been deliberately meted 
 out to the Apostate, the Gentile, and the suspected Saint, 
 by the Mormon Priesthood. The innocent blood which cries 
 for vengeance against Brigham Young and some of the 
 leaders of the Church is sufficient to weigh the purest spirit 
 which stands before the throne of God down to the nether- 
 most abysses of hell. 
 
 After these fearful oaths had been taken with due solem- 
 nity, we were instructed in the various signs representing 
 those dreadful penalties ; and we were also given a " grip " 
 peculiar to this degree. 
 
 We were next entertained by a long address from the 
 Apostle Heber C. Kimball. — Never in my life — except from 
 Brigham Young — have I listened to such disgusting language, 
 and I trust I never shall be compelled to listen to anything 
 like it again. Brother Kimball always used to pride himself 
 upon using " plain " language, but that day I think he sur- 
 passed himself; he seemed to take quite a pleasure in saying 
 anything which could make us blush. The subject of which 
 he discoursed was the married life in the " Celestial Order ; " 
 he also laid great stress upon the necessity of our keeping 
 silence concerning all that we had witnessed in the Endow- 
 ment House — even husbands to their wives, and wives to their 
 husbands, were not to utter a single word. With the sermon 
 ended our " Second Degree." 
 
 We were now taken to another room for the purpose of pass- 
 ing through the "Third Degree" of the Order of the Mel- 
 chisedec Priesthood. When we w r ere all arranged on one side 
 against the wall, a number of individuals entered who were 
 supposed to represent the ministers of every denomination and 
 
Mysteries of the Endowment House. 199 
 
 religion upon the face of the earth. The devil also makes his 
 appearance again. The ministers set forth the various claims 
 of their respective creeds — each one striving to show that 
 his is the purest and the best — but the devil sows division 
 and hatred among them, and a good deal of confusion 
 ensues. 
 
 Then came in personages representing Peter, James, and 
 John, the Apostles ; and they commanded ministers, devil, and 
 all to depart. They then appeared to organize a new Church, 
 in which the true principles of the Gospel were to be taught ; 
 our Temple robes were also all changed from the right 
 shoulder to the left, indicating that we were now in the true 
 Church, and that we were to be absolutely and in every way 
 dependent upon the priesthood. Another grip was then given 
 to us, and thus we received the third degree of the Order of 
 Melchisedec Priesthood. In that room was a division made of 
 bleached muslin ; in the division a door and in the door a hole, 
 Avith a lap of muslin over it, through which to pass the hand. 
 Whoever was on the other side could see us, but we could not 
 see them. The men first approached this door. A person 
 representing the Apostle Peter appeared at the opening and 
 demanded who was there. He was told that some one desired 
 to enter. Hands came through the opening in the muslin 
 curtain, and mysterious fingers cut a mark on the left breast 
 of the men's shirts — one mark also over the abdomen, and one 
 over the right knee — which marks the women religiously imi- 
 tated upon their own garments when they got home. The 
 applicant Avas then told to put his hand through the opening, 
 and give the last grip helouging to the " Third Degree," and 
 mention his neAv name. He was then permitted to enter. 
 This Avas called "going behind the veil." When the men 
 Avere all admitted, the Avomen were suffered to approach, and 
 Avere passed through by their own husbands. When a woman 
 has no husbaud she is passed through by one of the brethren, 
 and to those who are not going to be married or sealed for 
 eternity here the ceremonies end. 
 
 Now, as I before stated, according to Mormon ideas Ave had 
 never before been legally married. It was therefore, neces- 
 sary that Ave should now pass through that ceremony. Wo 
 accordingly Avere conducted to a desk, Avhcre oar names Avere 
 entered, and we were then passed into another room. In that 
 room Avas a long, low altar, covered Avith red velvet, and au 
 armchair placed at one end of it, in Avhich sat Brigham 
 Young. My husband knelt at one side of the altar and I at 
 
200 An Englishzvoman in Utah. 
 
 the other, with our hands clasped above it in the last grip 
 -which had been given to us. Then the ordinary formula of 
 marriage was gone through with, and we were informed that 
 we were sealed for time and for eternity. 
 
 Thus we passed through the mysteries of the Endowment 
 House, and at three o'clock in the afternoon we found our- 
 selves at liberty to return home. The various ceremonies had 
 occupied eight hours. 
 
 When we reached home, my husband said, " Well, what do 
 you think of the Endowments ?" But I did not dare to 
 answer him truthfully at that time. Had I done so, I should 
 have told him that I was ashamed and disgusted. Never in 
 all my life did I suffer such humiliation as I did that day ; for 
 the whole time I was under the impression that those who 
 officiated looked upon us as a set of silly dupes, and I felt 
 annoyed to think that I dared not tell them so. So I told my 
 husband that I would rather not speak about it, and we never 
 have spoken of it to this day. What were his own feelings 
 about the matter, I do not know, for Mormon wives are taught 
 never to pry into their husband's feelings or meddle with their 
 actions. But notwithstanding all my feelings in reference to 
 the Endowments, so foolish was I that when I afterwards 
 heard the brethren and sisters talking about the happiness 
 which they had experienced while going through, and saying 
 how privileged we ought to feel at being in Zion among the 
 Saints of God, secure in His Kingdom where we could bring 
 up our children in the fear of the Lord, I began again to think 
 that the fault was all in myself, and that it was I who was 
 wrong and not the Endowments. I wondered how, with such 
 a rebellious heart, I should ever get salvation, and I mourned 
 to think that I had not' accepted everything with the sim- 
 plicity of a child. 
 
 Some time after our initiation I met the Apostle Heber C. 
 Kimball, and he asked me how I felt upon the occasion. I 
 frankly told him all, but added that I regretted feeling so. 
 He said, " I shall see if you cannot go through again ; it is 
 not just the thing, and I shall try and make the opportunity." 
 Nothing more, however, was said about it. But that which 
 troubled me most was the fact that while the oaths were being 
 administered, I dropped my hand and inwardly vowed that I 
 would never subscribe to such things, and at the same time 
 my heart was filled with bitter opposition. This, although I 
 did it involuntarily — my better nature rising within me, and 
 overcoming my superstition — I thought at the time was sinful. 
 
Mysteries of the Endowment House. 201 
 
 I now, however, rejoice that such was the case ; for not having 
 actually vowed to keep secret those abominable oaths, I can 
 say, without any cavil or equivocation, that I have broken no 
 promise and betrayed no trust by the revelations which I have 
 just made. 
 
202 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 CHAPTER XXII. 
 
 SECRETS OF SAINTLY SPOUSES: — A VISIT FROM MY 
 TALKATIVE FRIEND. 
 
 Not long after I had received my Endowments, my talkative 
 friend, of whom I have already spoken, came to see me and 
 to offer her congratulations. She was quite enthusiastic upon 
 the subject, spoke of the honour which had been conferred 
 upon us, and promised to call frequently "to build me up." 
 She was particularly anxious to learn whether I did not feel 
 much better and happier now. 
 
 On that point I could say little, for to have answered her 
 truthfully would have provoked discussion, into which I did 
 not care to enter. 1 knew, too, that anything I said to her 
 would soon be known to every one else. So I told her that I 
 was feeling well enough. 
 
 " ' Well enough ! ' " she said. " Is that how you feel ? 
 Come now, I thought you would have got over all that when you 
 had been through your Endowments. You remind me of 
 what Brother Brigham says, — We have so many whining 
 women in Zion that it is quite a reproach. I do hope that 
 you are not going to become one of them. Let me give you a 
 bit of advice : The wisest thing that you can do is to look 
 out for another wife for your husband, and get him to marry 
 her." 
 
 "Oh my!" I said; "what are you talking about? You 
 surely cannot be in earnest." 
 
 " I never was more earnest in my life," she answered. " If 
 you had persuaded your husband to take another wife when 
 you went through your Endowments, you would have got over 
 all your troubles at one time. The anticipation is ten times 
 worse than the reality." 
 
 " I do not see it in that light," I said. " My own opinion 
 is that my troubles in that case would only then have begun. 
 I do not think that you yourself are really happy." 
 
 " Oh, nonsense ! " she exclaimed. " Why you can see 
 
Secrets of Saintly Spouses, 203 
 
 bow happy I am. INTy husband has two other wives, besides 
 myself, and a more comfortable family could not be." 
 
 " You never told me," I said, " how your husband managed 
 to get those wives. I should like to hear." 
 
 " My husband managed ! Why he did not manage at all ; 
 it was I who arranged everything for him, and I'll tell you 
 how it was done 
 
 " During the Reformation," she continued, " you, of course, 
 know the men were constantly urged to take more wives ; but 
 my husband was rather backward, and used to tell me there 
 was plenty of time, and not the slightest occasion for him to 
 be in a hurry. I had my own opinion of the matter and did 
 not agi'ee with him, for you see I was afraid that after all, he 
 would pick up some young girl or other and fall in love with 
 her, and all my plans would be disarranged. It is, you know 
 much the best for the first wife to look out for some girl who 
 will look up to her and respect her, but not love her husband 
 too much, and then they are likely to get on well together. 
 If the first wife selects the other wives, it has the effect of 
 showing them that the husband thinks much of her judgment 
 and is willing to abide by it, and that they will have to do 
 (he same. This, of course, is as it should be. But if she 
 lets her husband choose his own wife, he is almost certain to 
 take a fancy to some one whom the first wife does not like 
 at all, and consequently her authority is undermined. The 
 first wife ought to keep all the power in her own hands." 
 
 " Well," I said, "I should not care much, I think, who 
 ruled in my home if another wife was there." 
 
 " You think so now," she replied ; " but when you get used 
 to polygamy you will feel quite otherwise People get used 
 to it — the women as well as the men — and then they leave off 
 fretting aud become less selfish. But I was going to tell you 
 how I managed my husband. 
 
 " I was very anxious, as I told you, to find another wife 
 for him, and I took into consideration all the suitable girls I 
 knew. There was some objection to almost every one. Some 
 were too pretty and I knew I should detest them ; and others 
 were not good-looking, aud those my husband could not bear. 
 So I waited patiently, but did not give up the hope of suc- 
 ceeding eventually. At last I met with a girl who I thought 
 would do. She was certainly not bad-looking, but she was 
 very young, and I thought I should be able to manage her. 
 The name of this girl was Alice Maynard ; she was a neigh- 
 bour of ours, and one of a large family. She seemed to me 
 
204 An EnglisJnvoman in Utah. 
 
 to be a quiet modest little creature, and I knew that she had 
 to work hard and received very little in return. In fact, she 
 led at home a life of drudgery, and even her very clothing 
 bore witness to the poverty of the family. Her mother had 
 often told me that she felt badly for Alice, for Mr. Maynard 
 had three other wives, and it was more than he could do to 
 support them all properly. 
 
 "I called one day on Mrs. Maynard to broach the matter 
 to her. She received me very kindly, and entered into my 
 views at once. She was anxious, she said, for Alice to get 
 married, for then she would be better off I asked her how 
 she would like her to marry my husband, and told her that we 
 were very comfortably off — as you know we are — and that 
 my husband owned his house and lot, and was doing a very 
 good business, and, of course, ought to take another wife. 
 Would she agree to my proposal, and let me mention Alice to 
 him ? 
 
 " She said she herself had no objection, but that perhaps 
 my husband might not like Alice, or Alice might not like 
 him. 
 
 " I felt indignant at the idea that any girl should hesitate to 
 marry my husband, and I told Sister Maynard that there could 
 not possibly be any hesitation on Alice's part. ' I'm sure I 
 have no objection,' she said, ' if Alice has none. I should 
 only be too happy to see my child in .a more comfortable 
 home.' 
 
 " Well, then, we'll consider the matter settled, I said, and 
 asked if I could see Alice ; so her mother called her in, and 
 I proposed to her for my husband. You can guess, perhaps, 
 how astonished I was when she actually laughed in my face, 
 and said she should like to consider the matter ! I did not, 
 however, show her what I thought, but assented to what she 
 said, and invited her to come and take tea with us. 
 
 " My husband had often told me, when I was teasing him 
 about taking another wife, that he would willingly marry any 
 girl I might choose for him; and I felt pleased at this, for it 
 showed confidence in my judgment. So when he came in, 
 later in the day, I told him I had found a wife for him at last, 
 and that I knew he would like her. ' Why, Ann,' he said, 
 'I do believe you are going crazy over the wife question; but 
 if you are, I do not Avant you to drive me crazy also.' I really 
 thought this was too bad, after all my trouble for him ; 
 but nevertheless I was resolved that the marriage should take 
 place. 
 
Secrets of Saintly Spouses. 205 
 
 " Three days after that, in accordance with my invitation, 
 Alice came to take tea with us, and I fixed her up to look 
 nice. When she was ready, I took her into the parlour to 
 introduce her to my husband, who was sitting there reading. 
 Henry, I said, this is Miss Maynard — the young lady of whom 
 I spoke to you the other day. He looked up from his paper, 
 and, to my astonishment, said, ' Why, Alice, my girl, how do 
 you do ? How are mother and father ? ' 
 
 " ' What, I said, do you know Alice, Henry ? ' " 
 
 " ' Certainly I do," he answered ; ' Alice and I have met 
 many times before this, haven't we, Alice ? ' 
 
 " ' Yes, sir,' she said, and, oh, so demurely. Why, Sister 
 Stenhouse, I began to think that I had actually been deceived, 
 and that while I had innocently supposed that I had found 
 out the girl myself, it was the very one upon whom my 
 husband had had his eye for a long while past. I watched 
 them, however, very narrowly, for I was determined that if 
 my husband had really taken a fancy for the girl he should 
 never have her." 
 
 " Why, that would have facilitated matters, would it not? " 
 I said. 
 
 " Do you think," she replied, " that I would have allowed 
 them to marry if they loved each other? No, indeed ! The 
 Saints marry from principle and not from love, as Brother 
 Brigham has often told us. I hope you believe me, dear, 
 when I say that I am not at all a jealous woman, but if my 
 husband dared to fall in love with a girl and to hide it from 
 me, I could not stand it I am sure. No ! principle, is the 
 only thing — there can be no love in Polygamy. If a man 
 loved his wife, do you think he could have the heart to pain 
 her by taking another ? On the other hand, it is because 
 of the love which still remains in their hearts, and which 
 they weary themselves to crush out, that so many of the first 
 wives are miserable. But I was going to tell you about 
 Alice. I was mistaken in thinking that my husband had been 
 paying her any attentions. It appeared that he was acquainted 
 with her father and mother, and that at their house he had 
 frequently seen the child Alice, but never supposed she was 
 the Miss Maynard of whom I had spoken. But now they 
 had come together at last he took to her kindly and she to 
 him, and really I sometimes almost thought they wished to 
 ignore me altogether. 
 
 " I did not let them waste much time fussing with one 
 another, but they got on very rapidly, nevertheless ; and 
 
206 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 before I had time to arrange matters properly, my husband 
 told me that to please me he was going to marry Alice. Only 
 fancy me being pleased at him marrying Alice ! Why, it wasn't 
 to please myself that I introduced the child to him, but 
 simply because, if he must have another wife, it was certainly 
 best for me to choose one whom I could manage. However, 
 they were married not long after, and really I think I never 
 was more disgusted in my life than I was on that occasion. 
 I was not jealous, but I do think he might have paid her a 
 little less attention. In fact I quite regretted, when it was 
 too late, that I had ever brought them together. 
 
 " The Mormon men always do make themselves silly over 
 their new wives, and I did not expect my husband to be an 
 exception to the rule; but I was perfectly astonished at the 
 change that took place in Alice. Instead of the quiet, modest 
 girl she used to be, she put on all sorts of airs, and treated 
 me as if I were of not the slightest consequence. I couldn't 
 stand that, and I resolved, if it were only to take the pride 
 out of her, I would get my husband to marry another wife 
 still. He wouldn't object, I knew, for he takes life very 
 easily, and he has a great respect for my opinion. Besides 
 which, he is quite well enough off to support three wives ; 
 and as a matter of duty, if nothing else, he ought to do so. 
 That would soon bring Miss Alice to a proper state of mind, 
 and she needed something of the sort ; for, do you know, she 
 had actually made that silly husband of mine think that 
 she ought to be treated with the same consideration as my- 
 self." 
 
 " Well, but," I said, " if the principle of polygamy is of 
 God, it is only just that all the wives should be treated alike. 
 If my husband were to marry another woman, much as it 
 would pain me, I should treat her as an equal." 
 
 " Then," she replied, " if you do so you will find that the 
 first wives will have nothing to do with you. You will find, 
 when you come to be better acquainted with the people here, 
 that the first wives do not waste much love over the poly- 
 gamic wives ; and, of course, as a rule, the polygamic wives 
 detest the first wives. Then the plural wives get together 
 and talk all manner of evil about the first wives, who do 
 pretty much the same in respect to them. It is only natural 
 that they should do so. 
 
 " But I was going to tell you," she continued, " how I 
 selected the third wife. There was an emigrant-train ex- 
 pected in every day ; and you know, when the emigrants arrive, 
 
Secrets of Saintly Spouses. 207 
 
 all those -women who want wives for their husbands, and all 
 those men who want to choose for themselves, go down to the 
 camping-ground, and if they see a girl who takes their fancy 
 they ask her if she has got a place to go to, and if she has 
 not they offer to receive her themselves- There are hundreds 
 of young girls who arrive here without any one to look after 
 them, and who are only too glad to accept a home for the 
 winter. Now this was exactly what I did. I went down to 
 the camp and looked round for myself, aud at last my eyes rested 
 upon a young woman of about thirty or thirty-five years of age, 
 who I thought would be a more suitable wife for my husband 
 than that giggling chit that I chose for him at first. I de- 
 cided at once that she would do, so I went up to her and asked 
 her if she had any friends. She said she had a brother living 
 in the City ; but when I explained to her how we were situ- 
 ated, and said that I should like her to come and stay with us 
 till she could look round a little for herself, she agreed at 
 once. Now- — I thought — Miss Alice, we shall see whether 
 you are going to have things all your own way any 
 longer ! 
 
 "I told her, however, as well as my husband, that I had 
 brought home a sister to stay with us a while, and they re- 
 ceived her very kindly, and she soon made herself very useful 
 and agreeable to us all. The bishop came and talked to my 
 husband, and he made no difficulty at all in acceding to my 
 wishes, and before long he made our visitor wife number 
 three ; and Alice, as a matter of course, lest a good deal of 
 her influence over him. For my own part, I am much more 
 comfortable. The two plural wives do nearly all the work, 
 and I have little else to do than superintend the household 
 and enjoy myself. My husband is one of those quiet sort 
 of men who never interfere with domestic affairs, and I have 
 matters pretty much my own way now. The only thing that 
 annoys me is his fondness for Alice, who makes herself appear 
 most amiable to him, deceitful thing ! I can't break him of 
 that, but I often tell him that he will find her out some day. 
 He tells me that he looks upon her as a child, and feels like 
 a father towards her ; no woman, he says, can ever have his 
 love but me. That sounds all very well ; but as to believing it, 
 that is quite another thing — I keep my eye on them, and 
 watch them well." 
 
 "But," I said, "it appears to me that it would have been 
 far better if you had never given him another wife at all. 
 you would have been saved from annoyance, aud the privacy 
 
2o3 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 of your horn 3 would not have been disturbed. I am the 
 more surprised, as your husband did not himself desire 
 it." 
 
 " Wben you understand better the order of the kingdom, 
 you will not speak in that way," she said. " Do you suppose 
 that I shall be satisfied to be the wife of a man who could 
 not exalt me in the celestial kingdom — a man with only one 
 wife ? Why I have often told my husband that if he did not 
 get other wives I would leave. It is necessary for a man to 
 have two wives, at least, if he would enter into the celestial king- 
 dom. That is why I have been so anxious to get wives for 
 my husband. At the same time there is no necessity for him 
 to fall in love, and act in a silly way over them. The only 
 way in such a case is to set one to watch the other, and then 
 they are pretty certain to keep the old man straight. You 
 think, perhaps, that I don't feel all this, but you must not 
 be deceived by appearances. I try to do the will of heaven 
 with a smile on my face ; and the brethren have often told me 
 that if the other sisters were more like me they would not have 
 so much difficulty in establishing Polygamy. But, dear me, 
 Sister Stenhouse, what a long talk we've had ! I'll come and 
 see you soon again, but I must hasten away now, for my hus- 
 band will be home to supper by this time." 
 
 So she left me wondering over her strange story of a 
 woman's experience in supplying her own husband with 
 wives. 
 
2cg 
 
 CHAPTER XXIII 
 
 SOCIAL LIFE IN SALT LAKE CITY : — BALL-ROOMS, " WALL- 
 FLOWERS," AND DIVORCE. 
 
 We had not been long in Salt Lake City before the ball- 
 season commenced. These balls afford splendid opportunities 
 to the men for flirting with the girls. No matter how old and 
 homely a man is, he thinks that he has as much right to flirt 
 and dance with the girls as the youngest boy ; for they all 
 look upon themselves and each other as boys and single men, even 
 if they have a dozen wives. There is no limit to their <: privi- 
 leges." They are always in the market. Brigham, in his public 
 discourses, has said that the brethren " are all young men under 
 a hundred years of age." With such an extended privilege, 
 it is here in Utah that hoary Winter and smiling May can be 
 seen galloping forth in the dance together — a thoughtful 
 subject for the artist's pencil. 
 
 It is of no consequence how much a man may flirt in the 
 presence of his wife or wives. They must not presume to say 
 one word to him about it ; for the husband is free to do what- 
 ever he likes. He is one of the lords of creation. He is 
 master of his wives, of his children. Then, how can one of 
 his own dare to call in question anything he may think fit to do ? 
 She may, it is true, do so ; but she must take the consequences 
 of that rash act. 
 
 Oh ! how I loathe even the very remembrance of those 
 hateful ball-rooms, where I have seen so many unhappy 
 wives, and have heard so many tales of sorrow. For, while 
 the wives would be sitting as " wall-flowers " along the sides 
 of the halls, after having danced the first dance with their 
 husbands, as a matter of form, I have heard them many times 
 telling each other about what they had seen their husbands doing 
 during the evening ; and how they had been compelled to 
 pay attention to some simpering girl that their husbands 
 chanced to fancy ; and how they had had to do it for peace 
 sake, and appear to be satisfied. 
 
 p 
 
210 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 I do not mean to say that I did not like these social amuse- 
 ments myself, for I did ; and could, under other circumstances, 
 have enjoyed them very much. But I had been told so many 
 things of the unpleasantness of a hall-room in Salt Lake City 
 — at least, to married women — that my apprehensions were 
 aroused. But all that was ever told me never half came up to 
 the truth ; nor can I possibly myself give the reader any cor- 
 rect idea of the heartaches and sorrows which these scenes 
 bring to the wives of Mormons. 
 
 It is quite a common thing for married men to go with 
 young girls to these balls. The majority of the men, how- 
 ever, prefer to take their first wives with them at the same 
 time ; but it is not infrequent to hear a lady say in the ball- 
 room, " My husband has brought his girl here to-night ; but 
 I have not spoken one word to her, nor will I do so." Yet, if 
 any one were to ask these same ladies if they believed that 
 Polygamy was right, they would say, " Certainly I do ; but I 
 do not like her " — and this simply because their husbands had 
 paid her attentions. This seems like inconsistency ; but it 
 serves to show what conflicting feelings Mormon women have 
 to contend with. 
 
 The men should hear what their wives say about them in 
 the ball-rooms, and the hatred they feel for them. I have 
 seen some women sitting quietly eyeing their husbands, as they 
 danced or flirted with their younger loves, till their cup of in- 
 dignation was full. Then they would make for the dressiug- 
 rooms, where their anger Avould burst upon the ears of a 
 group of eager listeners, who were seemingly pleased to learn 
 that some one else was suffering as well as themselves. A 
 half-repressed threat, " I will be even with him " has es- 
 caped the lips of those who, before that, had passed for being 
 happily situated. 
 
 Where new matrimonial alliances are continually taking place, 
 the arrival of a gentlemau, with his wife, wives, or a maiden, in 
 the ball-room, is never remarked; and, not infrequently, dif- 
 ferent wives arrive at different hours during the evenings, as 
 it suits their convenience ; and thus it would be difficult to 
 say who came with their " lord." Besides, no observation is 
 made if a lady thus enters the ball-room alone, though it is 
 expected that her husband is awai'e of her coming. This 
 coming alone, however, is not a common habit ; but, as it is ad- 
 missible, it does occasionally happen that a husband is dancing 
 or enjoying himself in the ball-room with his last fiancee, 
 when a vigilant pair of eyes searches over the room and lights 
 
Social Life in Salt Lake City. 211 
 
 upon the happy " lord." When eyes like these encounter the 
 eyes they seek, a change is seen, and the youthful airiness of 
 the gentleman vanishes, and sober looks follow the gaiety of 
 the earlier hour. 
 
 I met President Heber C. Kimball at one of these balls, 
 soon after my arrival. He said that he would introduce me 
 to his wije. Every one liked Heber for his outspoken, honest 
 bluntness. He took me up the hall and introduced me to five 
 wives in succession ! "Now," said he, "I think I'll quit; 
 for I fancy you are not over strong in the faith." 
 
 I asked, " Are these all you have got ? " 
 
 " O dear, no," he said : "I have a few more at home, and 
 about fifty more scattered over the earth somewhere. I 
 have never seen them since they were sealed to me in Nauvoo, 
 and I hope I never shall again." 
 
 I thought this was terrible ; but it was only the beginning 
 of worse things. 
 
 After this winter, I had very little peace ; for the women 
 were constantly talking to me about my husband getting 
 another wife. He held out, however, for five years; but at 
 last he " felt that it was his duty to do so," and I was silly 
 enough to allow that " he was not living up to his religion " 
 unless he took an extra wife. 
 
 I shall never forget those ball-room scenes. Even to this 
 day, when I chance to listen to tunes which I used to hear 
 played in those times, they grate terribly upon my ear, and 
 bring back so many sad recollections, that I want to get away 
 from the sound of them as quickly as possible, for they are 
 more than I can endure. Bygone recollections are often re- 
 called by trifles such as this. 
 
 A few months ago I attended a ball in Salt Lake City. It 
 was the first I had been to since I withdrew from the Church; 
 and of course it was got up by the "Liberal Party." I felt 
 free and 'happy, for there was nothing to annoy or disturb me. 
 Suddenly the band struck up a tune which I had heard while 
 attending the Mormon balls. It sounded like the death-knell 
 of all my pleasant feelings, and aroused memories of the past 
 which were so intensely painful that I could not rally from 
 the depression that I felt for the rest of the evening. I had 
 heard that tune before, and many like it, and had even danced 
 to it, while my heart was breaking. 
 
 Let me ask my lady readers — those, I mean, who have 
 never been in Utah. Ladies, how do you think you would feel 
 if you were kept waiting long after the hour of midnight,, far 
 
 p 2 
 
212 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 away into the morning, until your husbands had got through 
 with their dancing and flirting, while your own hearts were 
 breaking ? I think I hear you say, " I would not stand it." 
 You do not know, I assure you, ivhat you would do under the 
 circumstances. How can you possibly judge what the feelings 
 of a Mormon woman are, who has been taught to believe that 
 " her desire shall be unto her husband, and he shall rule over her." 
 
 In very early days Brigham built a theatre, and a very 
 fair amount of histrionic talent was developed among the 
 Saints. The Social Hall, in which were held balls, public 
 entertainments, and other amusements, was used for histrionic 
 performances before the theatre was built. Brigham owned 
 the theatre. Money was to be made out of it ; and the chance 
 of making money Brother Brigham never permitted to slip 
 through his fingers. Brigham's eyes were sharp enough to 
 see that a theatre would be to him a source of profit, but he 
 did not look far enough. That theatre — under the imme- 
 diate direction of the Prophet, with his own daughters act- 
 ing in it, with the plays Avhich were performed under his 
 own censorship — has been one of the many causes which have 
 perceptibly, although perhaps indirectly, shaken the hold 
 which Mormonism had upon many a woman's mind. 
 
 A man would probably witness the performance of a play 
 and return from the theatre with no other thought than the 
 remembrance of an hour's amusement. But not so a woman. 
 To her the play suggested something more, and her daughters 
 would share her thoughts. Daily and hourly, it might be, the 
 effects of Polygamy would be brought under their notice as a 
 matter affecting themselves personally. They might be firm 
 in the faith, but the observant instincts of their sex could 
 never be wholly crushed. They would notice the neglect 
 which wives endured even from good husbands ; they would 
 see a man leaving the wife of his youth, the mother of his 
 children, and, careless of the cruel wrong he did her, leave her 
 in lonely sorrow while he was spending his time in love- 
 making with some young girl who might have been his daughter. 
 They would see a wife crushing out from her heart the holiest 
 impulses which God had implanted there, striving to destroy 
 all affection for him whose dearest treasure that affection 
 should have been, because, indeed, Polygamy could not exist 
 with love. They would see and know, and themselves per- 
 sonally feel, the degradation and misery of the " Celestial Order 
 of Marriage;" and that to them would be the practical picture 
 of life. 
 
Social Life in Salt Lake City. 213 
 
 But in the theatre — short-sighted Brigham, to allow it to be 
 so ! — another picture would be presented for their considera- 
 tion; a picture it might be, ideal in its details and surroundings, 
 but true to the letter in the lesson which it conveyed and the 
 thoughts which it suggested. The disgusting, the brutalizing 
 cruelties of Polygamy, were never represented on the stage. 
 Thoughts so coarse, so sensual, could uever inspire the true 
 poet's pen. No ; the tale of love, as the poet tells it, is all 
 that is refined, and chaste, and delicate, and pure ; the com- 
 mingling of two souls, the unison of two loving hearts, the 
 hopes, the aspirations, the tender joyful sorrows of two fond 
 natures — of two alone ! Such is the picture presented as 
 the ideal of the beautiful and of the good. Then, too, the 
 delicate attentions of the devoted lover, his happiness even in 
 the shadow of a smile from her, the lofty pedestal upon which 
 to his imagination she stands, a queen and peerless ; or the 
 confiding love of the heroine of the story ; blushingly con- 
 fessing to herself that there is one heart on earth which is all 
 her own, and in which none but herself can ever rule or reign. 
 
 The Mormon women are not devoid of common sense, nor 
 are they destitute of those quick perceptions which, under all 
 circumstances, distinguish their sex. They see on the stage 
 representations of the happiness attendant upon love and mar- 
 riage, such as God ordained, and such as finds a response iu 
 every heart ; and they compare such pleasant pictures with 
 what they know and have witnessed of Polygamy, and they 
 draw painful inferences therefrom. Their faith may be proof 
 against apostasy, but the impression left upon their minds pro- 
 duces its effect notwithstanding. 
 
 The spring came on, and our prospects began to brighten. 
 My husband not only found remunerative employment for his 
 pen in Salt Lake City, but was also engaged as special corre- 
 spondent to the Neiv York Herald and several of the California 
 papers. 
 
 One morning, a countryman, roughly dressed and looking 
 the picture of care, called at our house and asked to see Mr. 
 Stenhouse. I gazed at him for a moment, for I thought there 
 was something familiar in the sound of his voice. lie looked 
 at me, and I at once recognized him; it was Monsieur BalifF 
 himself, in whose house we had lived in Switzerland. But, oh, 
 how changed he was! Once a refined, handsome, gentlemanly 
 man ; now a mere wreck of his former self, careworn, rough- 
 looking, poorly clad. He and his family had been in Utah six 
 years, and had suffered all the ills that poverty can induce : 
 
214 -A?i Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 the change which was wrought in him was so great, that for 
 some moments I was so overcome by my feelings that I could 
 not utter a word. In the few short years which had elapsed 
 since I saw him in his own bright and happy home, he had 
 become quite an old man. I hardly dared to ask about his 
 wife, for I feared what his answer might be ; but after a little 
 while he told me that she had sent her love, and would like to 
 see me whenever I could find an opportunity to call upon her. 
 They lived some miles from the city, but I told him that I 
 would not fail to visit them whenever it was possible for me to 
 do so. 
 
 I talked a long while with Monsieur Baliff, and was much 
 interested in what he told me. He made no complaints ; he 
 had still firm faith in Mormonism, and said that if the brethren 
 had not dealt fairly by him they would be answerable to God 
 for what they had done. " Besides," he added, " I do not 
 blame them so much, for they are Americans, and would 
 not be happy if they did not get the advantage in some way." 
 
 I was anxious to ask him if he had been induced to take 
 another wife, as he had been in Utah during the " Reforma- 
 tion," and I did not see how it was possible for him to have 
 escaped ; but while I was thinking how I might put the ques- 
 tion delicately, he saved me the trouble by himself telling me 
 that he had married the young servant-girl, whom his wife had 
 taken from Switzerland with her. This information was quite 
 a shock to me, for I well knew the proud spirit of his wife, and 
 I could realize what anguish this second marriage must have 
 caused her ; I did not, however, like to question him on the 
 subject. So I turned the conversation into another channel, 
 and when he went away I sent kind messages to Madame 
 Baliff, saying that I would seize the very first opportunity 
 of hearing from her own lips the story of all they had gone 
 through. 
 
 Here, again, I found the trail of that monster — Polygamy. 
 This time in the home of my dearest friend. From the moment 
 when she and I had mingled our tears together in Switzerland, 
 over that abomination, life had been to me one long, weary, 
 sickening battle with my own heart ; one futile attempt to fully 
 convince myself that Polygamy was right and that I was vrong. 
 I certainly did believe, or thought that I believed, the doctrine 
 was true. But at times nature prevailed in the struggle, and 
 womanly indignation and anger rose in arms against faith. 
 These feelings were, however, at once and unhesitatingly sub- 
 dued ; faith returned triumphant, and I was again convinced 
 
Social Life in Salt Lake City. 2 1 5 
 
 that the Revelation must have been the will of the Lord, and 
 that my duty was to submit, but not to question. In moments 
 of comparative self-control I had even tried, as a Missionary's 
 wife, to justify it to others, but only to witness an outburst of 
 sorrow and anger, and 'to feel still more the weakness of my 
 position. That had been my own experience ; but how had 
 the time passed with my dear old friend ? She must, no doubt, 
 have been as greatly disappointed as I was when she came to 
 Zion and saw things as they really were, and not as they had 
 been represented to us. 
 
 My own eyes had certainly been opened not a little since 
 my arrival. Instead of finding the people enjoying the com- 
 forts and blessings of life, which we had been taught were 
 strewn around them in profuse abundance, we found among 
 all but the leading families the greatest poverty and priva- 
 tion. The majority of the people were living in little log or 
 adobe houses, of one or at the utmost two rooms, of most 
 primitive construction, and without the slightest convenience 
 of any description. Their food was bread and molasses, and 
 it might be an occasional morsel of meat ; but many of them 
 scarcely ever indulged in the latter, or in any article of 
 grocery, for months at a time. Their floors and walls were 
 bare, and their clothing poor and scanty ; and yet, destitute 
 as they were of all the comforts and conveniences of life, they 
 were conscientiously endeavouring like good Saints to prac- 
 tise Polygamy, because, as they believed, the Lord had com- 
 manded it. 
 
 In respect to education they were in even a worse position. 
 Books, pictures, and periodicals of any kind, there were none, 
 with the exception of that dreary organ of the church, the 
 Deseret Neios — the soporific influence of which some 
 wicked Apostate has likened to a dose of Winslow's soothing 
 syrup. Brigham Young, himself an illiterate man, and the 
 1 ailing Elders, frowned upon every attempt to raise the intel- 
 lectual status of the people ; and so little encouragement was 
 given, that no one could afford to keep school. The conse- 
 quence was, that the boys and girls grew up with little more 
 education than their own sense of necessity taught them to 
 acquire for themselves ; and it was not until very recently that 
 any suitable efforts were made to supply trained teachers and 
 to open schools in which a thorough education could be 
 afforded. 
 
 I have already mentioned the sermons of the Tabernacle, and 
 observed how little calculated they were to elevate the charac- 
 
216 An Englishwoman in Utah, 
 
 ter or cultivate the minds of the people. I have before me as 
 I write a choice morsel extracted from one of the sermons of 
 Heber C. Kimball, which I think I must give for the reader's 
 benefit. 
 
 Fancy an " Apostle ! " thus addressing a large and mixed 
 congregation of men, women, and children : — 
 
 " Here are some edicated men jest under my nose. They 
 come here and they think they know more than I do, and then 
 they git the big head, and it swells and swells until it gits like 
 the old woman's squash — you go to touch it and it goes ker- 
 smash ; and when you look for the man, why he ain't thai*. 
 They're jest like so many pots in a furnace — yer know I've 
 been a potter in my time — almighty thin and almighty big ; 
 and when they're sot up the heat makes 'em smoke a little, 
 and then they collapse and tumble in, aud they aint no 
 whar." 
 
 This was Heber's style in general. Next to making modest 
 people blush, nothing pleased him better than to annoy or 
 ridicule anyone who had the smallest pretensions to education; 
 and yet naturally Heber was a kind-hearted man. Brigham's 
 style is very little better, and the substance of his discourses 
 quite as bad. I will give a very favourable specimen, taken 
 from a sermon on Polygamy, delivered some years ago, touched 
 up and corrected, and published in the official organ, the 
 Deseret News : — 
 
 " Men wjll say, ' My wife, though a most excellent woman, 
 has not seen a happy day since I took my second wife.' ' No, 
 not a happy day for a year,' says one ; and another has not 
 seen a happy day for five years. 
 
 " I am going to set every woman at liberty, and say to them, 
 Now go your way — my women with the rest ; go your way. 
 And my wives have got to do one of two things ; either round 
 up their shoulders to endure the afflictions of this world and 
 live their religion, or they must leave ; for I will not have 
 them about me. I will go into heaven alone rather than have 
 scratching and fighting around me. I will set all at liberty. 
 ' What, first wife too ! ' Yes, I will liberate you all. I know 
 there is no cessation to the everlasting winnings of many of 
 the women in this territory ; I am satisfied that this is the 
 case ; and if the women will turn from the commandments of 
 God, and continue to despise the order of heaven, I will pray 
 that the curse of the Almighty may be close to their heels, and 
 that it may be following them all the day long. And those 
 that enter into it (the celestial order) and are faithful, I will 
 
Social Life in Salt Lake City. 217 
 
 promise them that they shall be queens in heaven and rulers 
 to all eternity. 
 
 " Now if any of you will deny the plurality of wives, and 
 continue to do so, I promise that you will be damned." 
 
 This Avas sweet language for a Prophet and a Saint to utter, 
 and yet it is not half so coarse or improper as some whole ser- 
 mons that I have listened to from the lips of Brother Brigham 
 and the other leaders of the Church. 
 
 The Apostle Orson Pratt is the only one who has dared, in 
 the presence of Brigham, to say that education was a proper 
 thing, and that there were many books which would be of good 
 service to the Saints, if they obtained and studied them. On 
 one occasion, Brigham arose in ire, and said, — 
 
 " The professor has told you that there are many books in 
 the world, and I tell you that there are many people there. 
 He says there is something in all these books ; I say each of 
 those persons has got a name. It would do you just as much 
 good to learn those somebodies' names as it would to read 
 those books. Five minutes' revelation would teach me more 
 truth than all this pack of nonsense that I should have packed 
 away in my unlucky brains from books." 
 
 But the Prophet has changed with the times, and there 
 are now in Utah very good schools, both Mormon and 
 Gentile, but none of them are free-?ehooh. Bishop Taylor 
 once said in a public lecture that they were " destructive to 
 the best interests of the community ;" and the bishop's 
 " lord " in the Lion-House is exactly of the same opinion, for 
 he has repeatedly declared that " there shall be no ' free- 
 schools ' within his Saintly 'Kingdom ' on earth." Neverthe- 
 less, Brother Brigham and his "Infallible Priesthood" are at 
 last beginning to discover that although the night of igno- 
 rance and superstition may hate the clear daylight of truth 
 and knowledge, when the great Ruler of all commands the 
 light to come forth it is not in the power of man, with all his 
 boasting, to forbid the sun to shine upon the dark places of the 
 earth. 
 
 Balls, parties, and the theatre provided amusement for the 
 people in Salt Lake City itself; but in the Settlements there 
 was little else in the shape of recreation than idle gossip or 
 the harangues of the Tabernacle. 
 
 At the time when we went to Utah, Mormon society was 
 slowly recovering from that terrible marrying mania which 
 had set in during the " Reformation," and a season of divorce 
 was the result. 
 
2i8 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 The authorities at that time, as I have already observed, had 
 urged every person, without distinction, into Polygamy. Men 
 and women had been forced to marry one another without any 
 respect to affection or fitness, and the result was that hundreds 
 of marriages were entered into which made those who con- 
 tracted them miserable for life, but the consequences of which 
 they could not avoid. At the same time not a few were 
 divorced almost immediately after they were married, and 
 these things were a matter of daily occurrence. Brigham 
 Young, with his eye perpetually on the dollar, finding that 
 his marrying scheme, like many other of his " divine " plans, 
 was a failure, saw at once that quite a nice little sum might be 
 realized by charging a fee for divorces. Nothing was charged 
 for marrying ; but if the people insisted on having divorces, 
 why, the best, and certainly the most profitable thing, was to 
 make them pay for them. When Ave first went to Utah, the 
 Prophet was doing quite a flourishing business in that line. 
 Any one could get a divorce for ten dollars ; and Brigham 
 publicly in the Tabernacle jested about it, and said that the 
 money thus obtained came in very conveniently as pin-money 
 for his wives, though I doubt if they ever received a dollar of 
 it. He added, that so far as " eternity " was concerned, these 
 divorces were not worth the paper they were written on; the 
 people had married for eternity, and in eternity they would 
 have to live together, whether they liked it or not. He says 
 the same to-day ; but still he sells his divorces, and gathers in 
 the ten dollars. 
 
 As I have written so much of the troubles of the sisters, 
 perhaps it will be as well to give the reader an idea of the 
 trials and difficulties which the brethren had to contend with 
 when they first attempted the introduction of Polygamy. To 
 do this, I shall give the correspondence of Miss Martha 
 Brotherton, formerly of Manchester, England, relating to a 
 very interesting courtship between herself and Brigham 
 Young. I would have the reader remark that this correspon- 
 dence distinctly proves that Polygamy was taught by the heads 
 of the church before the Prophet received the professed reve- 
 lation. 
 
 This account was published just a year, lacking one day, 
 before the revelation on Polygamy was given to Joseph Smith. 
 It was published in Boston, in book form, in 1842. The reve- 
 lation was given at Nauvoo, on the 12th of July 1843. 
 
 The following is the letter referred to •} — 
 i Mormonism Exposed, p. 236. 
 
Social Life in Salt Lake City. 219 
 
 "St. Louis, Missouri, July 13, a.d. 1812. 
 # # # * # 
 
 "Dear Sir, — I left Warsaw a short time since for this 
 city, and having been called upon by you, through the Sangamo 
 Journal, to come out and disclose to the world the facts of the 
 case in relation to certain propositions made to me, at Nauvoo, 
 by some of the Mormon leaders, I now proceed to respond to 
 the call, and discharge what I consider to be a duty devolving 
 upon me as an innocent, but insulted and abused female. I 
 had been at Nauvoo nearly three weeks, during which time 
 my father's family received frequent visits from Elders 
 Brigham Young and Heber C. Kimball, two of the Mormon 
 Apostles ; when, early one morning, they both came to my 
 brother-in-law's (John Mcll wrick's) house, at which place I 
 was then on a visit, aud particularly requested me to go and 
 spend a few days with them. I told them I could not at that 
 time, as my brother-in-law was not at home ; however, they 
 urged me to go the next day and spend one day with them. 
 The day being fine, I accordingly went. When I arrived at 
 the foot of the hill, Young aud Kimball were standing con- 
 versing together. They both came to me, and after several 
 flattering compliments, Kimball wished me to go to his house 
 first. I said it was immaterial to me, aud went accordingly. 
 We had not, however, gone many steps when Young suddenly 
 stopped, and said he would go to that brother's (pointing to a 
 little log hut a few yards distant), and tell him that you 
 (speaking to Kimball) and Brother Glover, or Grover (I do 
 not remember which) will value his land. When he had 
 gone, Kimball turned to me and said, ' Martha, I want you to 
 say to my wife, when you go to my house, that you want to 
 buy some things at Joseph's store (Joseph Smith's), and I 
 will say I am going with you to show you the way. You 
 know ) r ou want to see the Prophet, and you will then have 
 an opportunity.' I made no reply. Young again made his 
 appearance, and the subject was dropped. We soon reached 
 Kimball's house, when Young took his leave, saying, ' I shall 
 see you again, Martha.' I remained at Kimball's nearly an 
 hour ; when Kimball, seeing I would not tell the lies he 
 wished me to, told them to his wife himself. He then went 
 and whispered in her ear, and asked if that would please her. 
 'Yes,' she said, ' or I can go along with you and Martha.' 
 'No,' said he, 'I have some business to do, and I will call for 
 you afterwards to go with me to the debate,' meaning the 
 debate between yourself and Joseph. To this she consented. 
 
220 An Eiiglishzvoman in Utah, 
 
 So Kimball and I went to the store together. As we were 
 going along, he said, ' Sister Martha, are yon willing to 
 do all that the Prophet requires you to do ? ' I said, I believed 
 I was — thinking, of course, he would require nothing wrong. 
 ' Then,' said he, 'are you ready to take counsel ? ' I answered 
 in the affirmative, thinking of the great and glorious blessings 
 that had been pronounced upon my head if I adhered to the 
 counsel of those placed over me in the Lord. ' Well,' said he 
 ' there are many things revealed in these last days that the 
 world would laugh and scoff at ; but unto us is given to know 
 the mysteries of the kingdom.' He further observed, ' Martha, 
 you must learn to hold your tongue, and it will be well with 
 you. You will see Joseph, and very likely will have some 
 conversation with him, and he will tell you what you shall do.' 
 When we reached the building, he led me up some stairs to a 
 small room, the door of which was locked, and on it the fol- 
 lowing inscription, 'Positively no admittance.' He observed, 
 ' Ah ! Brother Joseph must be sick, for, strange to say, he is 
 not here. Come down into the tithing-office, Martha.' He 
 then left me in the tithing-office and went out, I know not 
 where. In this office were two men writing, one of whom, 
 William Clayton, I had seen in England ; the other I did not 
 know. Young came in and seated himself before me, and 
 asked where Kimball was. I said he had gone out. He said 
 it was all right. Soon after, Joseph came in and spoke to one 
 of the clerks, and then went upstairs, followed by Young. 
 Immediately after, Kimball came in. ' Now Martha,' said he, 
 ' the Prophet has come ; come upstairs.' I went, and we 
 found Young and the Prophet alone. I was introduced to the 
 Prophet by Young. Joseph offered me his seat, and, to my 
 astonishment, the moment I was seated, Joseph and Kimball 
 walked out of the room, and left me with Young, who arose, 
 locked the door, closed the window, and drew the curtain. He 
 then came and sat before me and said, ' This is our private 
 room, Martha.' ' Indeed, sir,' said I ; ' I must be highly 
 honoured to be permitted to enter it.' He smiled, and then 
 proceeded, ' Sister Martha, I want to ask you a few questions ; 
 will you answer them ? ' ' Yes, sir,' said I. ' And will you 
 promise me not to mention them to any one ? ' ' If it is your 
 desire, sir,' said I, ' I will not.' ' And you will not think any 
 the worse of me for it ; will you, Martha ? ' said he. ' No, 
 sir,' I replied. ' Well,' said he, ' what are your feelings to- 
 ward me ? ' I replied, ' My feelings are just the same toward 
 you that they ever were, sir.' 'But, to come to the point 
 
Social Life in Salt Lake City. 221 
 
 more closely,' said he, ' have not you an affection for me, 
 that, were it lawful and right, you would accept of me for your 
 husband and companion ? ' My feelings at this moment were 
 indescribable. God only knows them. What, thought I, are 
 these men, that I thought almost perfection itself, deceivers, 
 and is all my fancied happiness but a dream ? 'Twas even 
 so ; but my next thought was, which is the best way for nie 
 to act at this time ? If I say No, they may do as they think 
 proper ; and to say Yes, I never would. So I considered it 
 best to ask for time to think and pray about it. I therefore 
 said, 'If it was lawful and right, perhaps I might; but you 
 know, sir, it is not.' ' Well, but,' said he, ' Brother Joseph has 
 had a revelation from God that it is lawful and right for a 
 man to have two wives ; for, as it was in the days of Abra- 
 ham, so it shall be in these last days, and whoever is the first 
 that is willing to take up the cross Avill receive the greatest 
 blessings ; and, if you will accept of me, I will take you 
 straight to the celestial kingdom ; and, if you will have me in 
 this world, I will have you in that which is to come, and 
 Brother Joseph will marry us here, to-day, and you can go 
 home this evening, and your parents will not know anything 
 about it.' ' Sir,' said I, ' I should not like to do anything of 
 the kind without the permission of my parents.' ' Well, but,' 
 said he, 'you are of age, are you not ? ' ' No, sir,' said I ; ' I 
 shall not be until the 24th of May.' ' Well,' said he, ' that 
 does not make auy difference. You will be of age before they 
 know, and you need not fear. If you will take my counsel, it 
 will be well with you, for I know it to be right before God ; 
 and if there is auy sin in it, I will answer for it. But Brother 
 Joseph wishes to have some talk with you on the subject ; he 
 will explain things; will you hear him?' 'I do not mind,' 
 said I. ' Well, but I want you to say something,' said he. 
 ' I want to think about it,' said I. ' Well,' said he, ' I will 
 have a kiss, anyhow,' and then rose, and said he would bring 
 Joseph. He then uulocked the door, and took the key, and 
 locked me up alone. He was absent about ten minutes, and 
 then returned with Joseph. ' Well,' said Young, ' Sister 
 Martha would be willing if she knew it was lawful and right 
 before God.' ' Well, Martha,' said Joseph, ' it is lawful 
 and right before God — I know it is. Look here, sis ; don't 
 you believe in me.' I did not answer. ' Well, Martha,' said 
 Joseph, 'just go ahead, and do as Brigham wants you to ; he 
 is the best man in the world, except nie.' ' Oil ! ' said 
 Brigham, ' then you are as good.' ' Yes,' said Joseph. 
 
222 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 ' Well,' said Young, ' we believe Joseph to be a Prophet. I 
 have known him near eight years, and have always found him 
 the same.' ' Yes,' said Joseph, ' and I know that this is lawful 
 and right before God, and if there is any sin in it, I will answer 
 for it befoi'e God ; and I have the keys of the kingdom, and 
 whatever I bind on earth is bound in heaven, and whatever I 
 loose on earth is loosed in heaven ; and if you will accept of 
 Brigham, you shall be blessed — God shall bless you, and my 
 blessing shall rest upon you ; and, if you will be led by him, 
 you will do well ; for I know that Brigham will do well by you, 
 and if he don't do his duty to you, come to me, and I will make 
 him ; and if you do not like it in a month or two, come to me 
 and I will make you free again ; and if he turns you off, I 
 will take you on.' ' Sir,' said I, rather warmly, ' it will be too 
 late to think in a month or two after. I want time to think 
 first.' ' Well, but,' said he, ' the old proverb is, " Nothing 
 ventured, nothing gained," and it will be the greatest blessing 
 that was ever bestowed upon you.' ' Yes,' said Young, ' and 
 you will never have reason to repent it — that is, if I do not 
 turn from righteousness, and that, I trust, I never shall ; for I 
 believe God, who has kept me so long, will continue to keep 
 me faithful. Did you ever see me act in any way wrong in Eng- 
 land, Martha ? ' ' No, sir,' said I. ' No,' said he ; ' neither 
 can any one else lay anything to my charge.' ' Well, then,' 
 said Joseph, ' what are you afraid of, sis ? Come, let me do 
 the business for you.' ' Sir,' said I, ' do let me have a little 
 time to think about it, and I will promise not to mention it to 
 any one.' ' Well, but look here,' said he ; ' you know a fellow 
 will never be damned for doing the best he knows how.' 
 ' Well, then,' said I, ' the best way I know of is, to go home 
 and think and pray about it.' ' Well,' said Young, 'I shall leave 
 it with Brother Joseph, whether it would be best for you to have 
 time or not.' ' Well,' said Joseph, ' I see no harm in her hav- 
 ing time to think, ' if she will not fall into temptation.' ' Oh 
 sir ! ' said I, ' there is no fear of my falling into temptation.' 
 ' Well, but,' said Brigham, ' you must promise me you will never 
 mention it to any one.' ' I do promise it,' said I. ' Well,' said 
 Joseph, 'you must promise me the same.' I promised him the 
 same. 'Upon your honour,' said he, 'you will not tell.' 
 ' No, sir ; I will lose my life first,' said I. ' Well, that will 
 do,' said he ; ' that is the principle we go upon. I think 
 I can trust you, Martha,' said he. ' Yes,' said I, ' I think 
 you ought.' Joseph said, ' She looks as if she could keep 
 a secret.' I then rose to go, when Joseph commenced to beg 
 
Social Life in Salt Lake City. 223 
 
 of me again. He said it was the best opportunity they might 
 have for months, for the room was often engaged. I, how- 
 ever, had determined what to do. ' Well,' said Young, ' I 
 will see you to-morrow. I am going to preach at the school- 
 house opposite your house. I have never preached there yet ; 
 you will be there, I suppose.' ' Yes,' said I. The next day 
 being Sunday, I sat down, instead of going to meeting, and 
 wrote the conversation, and gave it to my sister, who was not 
 a little surprised ; but she said it would be best to go to the 
 meeting in the afternoon. We went, and Young administered 
 the sacrament. After it was over, I was passing out, and 
 Young stopped me, saying, 'Wait, Martha ; I am coming.' I 
 said, ' I cannot ; my sister is waiting for me.' He then threw 
 his coat over his shoulders, and followed me out, and whispered, 
 ' Have you made up your mind, Martha ? ' 'Not exactly, sir,' 
 said I ; and we parted. I shall proceed to a justice of the 
 peace, and make oath to the truth of these statements, and 
 you are at liberty to make what use of them you may think 
 best. 
 
 " Yours respectfully, 
 
 "Martha A. Brotherton. 
 " Sworn to and described before me, this 13th day of July, 
 a.d. 1842. 
 
 " Du BOUFFAT FREMON, 
 
 " Justice of the Peace for St. Louis County." 
 
224 A'> 1 Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 CHAPTER XXIV. 
 
 THE ORIGIN OF " THE REFORMATION : " — EXTRAORDINARY 
 DOINGS OF THE SAINTS. 
 
 The popular idea of Mormonism is that the peculiar feature 
 which distinguishes it from all other Christian sects is Poly- 
 gamy. To a certain extent this is, of course, true ; but it is only 
 a partial statement of the truth. If Polygamy were to be 
 relinquished, it would still be found that Mormonism had really 
 very little in common with other sects, and very much that 
 was completely antagonistic to them. 
 
 The confession of faith published by Joseph Smith during 
 his lifetime would certainly deceive an uninitiated person ; 
 and it was in consequence of the ambiguity of that very docu- 
 ment that so many unsuspecting persons were from the begin- 
 ning of Mormonism led astray by the teachings of the Mission- 
 aries. The convert was told that the Mormon faith proclaimed 
 the existence of one true God, but he was not told that 
 Father Adam was that deity, and that he is " like a well-to-do 
 farmer." He was told that Christ was the Son of God, but 
 he was not taught that the Virgin Mary was " the lawful wife 
 of God the Father," and that " He intended after the resurrec- 
 tion to take her again, as 'one of His own wives, to raise up 
 immortal spirits in eternity. He was told of faith in a Saviour, 
 he was not told that men were the only saviours of their 
 wives, and that unless a woman pleased her husband, and was 
 obedient and was saved hy him, she could not be saved at all. 
 He was told that the Saints believed in the Holy Ghost, but 
 he was not told that " The Holy Ghost is a man ; he is one 
 of the sons of our Father and our God. . . You think our 
 Father and our God is not a lively, sociable, and cheerful 
 man ; He is one of the most lively men that ever lived ! " 
 
 And yet, although such fearful and shocking blasphemy 
 was, of course, hidden from the convert whom it was desirable 
 to impress with the idea that Mormonism was only a develop- 
 ment of Christianity, it was openly taught in the sermons in 
 
The Origin of " The Reformation!' 225 
 
 the Tabernacle before thousands of people, and inculcated in 
 the writings of the highest authorities. The passages which 
 I have just quoted, were preached in public, were taken down 
 in shorthand were revised under the superintendence of 
 Brigham Young or one of the chief leaders, were then printed 
 and published in Salt Lake City, and afterwards reprinted in 
 another form. 
 
 The verbal repetition of such blasphemy as this would be 
 simply paiuful and disgusting to any right-minded person. I 
 shall therefore endeavour to give an idea of some of these 
 outrageous doctrines without entering too closely into details. 
 Should the reader, however, Avish to search aud see for him 
 self, I refer him to the Journals of Discourses, the files of the 
 Church papers, and the publications of the Mormon writers 
 generally. 
 
 One of the first innovations upon the received faith of 
 ordinary Christians was the doctrine of Polytheism. There 
 can be no doubt that, even in Joseph's time, that doctriue was 
 taught, although, as in the case of Polygamy, all knowledge 
 of it was kept from every one but the initiated — the " strong 
 men " who could be entrusted with the inner secrets of the 
 church leaders. That such a doctrine, however, was begin- 
 ning, even then, to form part of the faith of the Saints, may 
 be seen in the following lines upon the occasion of the Prophet's 
 murder : — 
 
 " Unchanged in death, with a Saviour's love, 
 He pleads their cause in the courts above. 
 His home's in the sky, he dwells with the Gods, 
 Far from the furious rage of mobs ! 
 
 He died ! he died for those he loved ; 
 
 He reigns ! Me reigns in the realms above." 
 
 Many other instances, even stronger than this, could easily 
 be given. 
 
 The Mormon idea of the other world, while in some respects 
 it differed from the teachings of certain modern " Spiritualists," 
 was not altogether dissimilar. The soul was said to be im- 
 mortal, and it had three stages of existence. The first was 
 purely spiritual — the state of the soul before it came into this 
 world. Spirits in that condition were not perfect, they must 
 first take a fleshly body, and pass through the trials of life, 
 before they could attain to the highest state of existence. 
 Hence it was a solemn duty, as well as their highest privilege, 
 for men to practise polygamy : — their duty, as by this means, 
 
 Q 
 
226 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 and by this alone, the yet imperfect souls now waiting to 
 come into this world could ever hope to be admitted into the 
 " Celestial Kingdom ;" — and a privilege, — as all the souls 
 whom they thus assisted to emigrate would form their own 
 " Kingdoms " in eternity, over which, as kings and priests, they 
 would reign for ever and ever. 
 
 The second stage of the soul's existence is the mortal ; with 
 which we all are sadly well acquainted. The third is the con- 
 dition subsequent to the Resurrection, when they believe the 
 flesh and bones will form the raised body, but the blood will 
 not be there ; for the blood is the principle of corrupt life, and 
 therefore another spirit supplies its place in heaven. That 
 Christ partook of some broiled fish and part of a honeycomb is 
 evident from Holy Scripture ; the Mormons therefore teach 
 that heaven will be very much the same as earth, only con- 
 siderably improved. We shall not marry there or be given 
 in marriage ; hence it is necessary for us to marry here, and 
 to marry as much as we can, for then in heaven a man will 
 take the wives Avhom he married on earth, or who have been 
 sealed to him by proxy ; they will be his queens, and their 
 children will be his subjects. We shall eat, and drink, and 
 feast, and spend a happy time generally. We shall henceforth 
 never die ; hence we shall ourselves be gods ! 
 
 It was in the pre-existent state, the Mormons teach, that 
 the work of salvation was first planned ; but not after the 
 fashion believed by all Christians. A grand celestial council 
 was held, at which all the Sons of God appeared. Michael, 
 the father of all, presided, and stated that he proposed to 
 create a new world, of which he proceeded to give some 
 details. His first begotten then arose, and made a speech, in 
 which he proposed that Michael, his father, should go down to 
 the world, when created, with Eve, his mother, and do there 
 much after the fashion of what is related of our first parents 
 in the Book of Genesis ; he himself would descend some 
 thousands of years subsequently, and would lead his erring 
 brethren back, and save them from their sins. Lucifer, the 
 second son, then stood forth and unfolded his plan. Jealous 
 of the popularity of his elder brother, he proposed to save men 
 in their sins. 
 
 Great discussion ensued, in which the unnumbered family 
 of heaven divided into three parties ; one under each of the 
 two elder sons, and the third standing neutral. After a ter- 
 rible conflict, Lucifer, the second sou, was defeated, and, with 
 all his followers, was driven out of heaven. They descended 
 
The Origin of" The Refoimation." 227 
 
 into the abyss, where they founded the infernal kingdom, of 
 which Lucifer became the chief. He was henceforth known 
 as the Devil. Adam created his world, and carried out his 
 part of the plan ; and in due time the eldest son, who con- 
 quered in heaven, took upon him the form of flesh, dwelt 
 among men, and was known as their Redeemer. The spirits 
 who stood neutral during the fight subsequently took upon 
 them forms of flesh, entering into the children of Ham, and 
 were known as negroes. Therefore it is, that although the 
 American Indians and all other races are eligible for the Mor- 
 mon priesthood, the negro alone could never attain to that high 
 dignity. 
 
 On the 9th of April, 1852, Brigham Young publicly 
 announced that, — 
 
 " When our father Adam came into the Garden of Eden, 
 he came into it with a celestial body, and brought Eve, one 
 of his wives, with him. He helped 1o make and organize this 
 world. He is Michael the Archangel, the Ancient of Days, 
 about whom holy men have written and spoken. He is our 
 1 Father and our God,' and the only god with whom we have 
 to do." 
 
 This public declaration gave great offence, and led to the 
 apostacy of many. Nevertheless, Brigham Young thinks that 
 just as Adam came down to Eden and subsequently became 
 a god, in like manner he also himself will attain to the god- 
 head. Heber C. Kimball, zealous to go a step further, declared 
 that Brigham tvas " God," and that he, Kimball, stood toward 
 him in the same relation as the Third Person in the Blessed 
 Trinity does towards the First. 
 
 It will hence be seen that subordination is one of the first 
 principles of the Mormon faith, and this even in the Church 
 organization of the Saints has been distinctively shown. For 
 the purposes for which it exists the Mormon hierarchy could 
 not be surpassed. Of the Priesthood there are two orders — 
 the Melchisedec and the Aaronic ; of which the former ranks 
 first and highest. The lowest rank in the Church is the 
 " Deacon ;" he looks after the places of meeting, takes up 
 collections, and attends to other similar duties. Next comes 
 the "Teacher." He visits the Saints and takes note of their 
 standing, and reports the same : weakness of faith, or back- 
 wardness in paying tithing, is never overlooked by him. After 
 him is the " Priest," and above him is the Elder whose office 
 it is to preach, baptize, and lay on hands. All these belong 
 to the order of the Aaronic — or the Levitical priest- 
 
 Q 2 
 
228 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 hood. "Bishops" are simply Church officers having local 
 jurisdiction. 
 
 The lowest grade in the Melchisedec Priesthood is the 
 " Elder." He administers in all the ordinances of the Church. 
 Above him there is no higher rank as respects the priesthood, 
 but in respect to office there are various gradations, as, for 
 example, the " High Priests," the " Seventies," and " Bishops," 
 who occupy positions of authority, although both go on mis- 
 sions, and also the Apostles. The " Apostles " were chosen in 
 imitation of the " Twelve " appointed by Christ ; and in the 
 same way the " Seventies," in imitation of the seventy disciples 
 sent forth to preach and work miracles. They claim rank 
 next to the Twelve. The " Quorum of the Apostles " is pre- 
 sided over by the eldest of their number ; the " Quorums of 
 Seventies " are each composed of seventy Elders with a "Pre- 
 sident " and six "Counsellors." The number of " quorums " 
 is unlimited ; and over them all collectively is another president 
 and six counsellors. 
 
 The highest authority in the Church is the " First Presi- 
 dency;" the three members of which at present are Brigham 
 Young, George A. Smith, and Daniel H. Wells, — who are 
 said to represent on earth the three Persons of the Blessed 
 Trinity ! 
 
 As, from "President" Young down to the most illiterate 
 " Elder," every one is supposed to be specially inspired, and 
 to be immediately guided by the gift of the Holy Ghost, 
 education is utterly unnecessary to the members of the Mor- 
 mon priesthood ; in fact, it has always been looked upon as an 
 impediment to its possessor. Obedience is considered the 
 highest qualification, and it was the strict enforcement of 
 obedience on the part of the ordinary people and the lower 
 grades of the priesthood towards the higher that alone could 
 have made possible that state of affairs which existed during 
 the " Reformation." Hence also it is that Brigham Young 
 and the leaders are rightly held responsible for the deeds of 
 violence and fanaticism which their followers may perpetrate ; 
 for it is well known that no Mormon, in a matter of grave 
 importance, would dare to act upon his own responsibility, and 
 without he felt sure that what he did would meet with the 
 approbation of those in authority. 
 
 There is another class of Church officer which I had very 
 nearly forgotten — the Patriarchs. The chief of these is called 
 " The Presiding Patriarch over the Church ;" the rest are 
 " Patriarchs in the Church." The office of these dignitaries is 
 
The Origin of " The Reformation." 229 
 
 to bless the people and to be paid for their blessings. The 
 price of good blessings is variable. Not long ago, when money 
 was scarce and payments were made in produce, two dollars 
 was considered reasonable ; and if several were wanted for 
 the same family, a reduction was made. Hyrura Smith, the 
 original Prophet's eldest brother, was the first Patriarch ; and 
 to him succeeded "Uncle John," as he was popularly called, 
 the eldest brother of Brigham. The present Patriarch is the 
 son of Hyrum ; still a young man, who obtained his office by 
 inheritance — and this, I believe, is about the only office in the 
 Church which Brother Brigham has permitted the Smith family 
 to inherit or enjoy. 
 
 The idea of reviving the old Jewish polity was always upper- 
 most in the minds of the Mormons. Hence they revived the 
 Priesthood and High-pr'esthood in their various forms ; a mag- 
 nificent temple was built in Nauvoo, just as another temple is 
 now being erected at Salt Lake City ; and so far did they go 
 that it was even determined that the ancient sacrifices should 
 eventually be restored. 
 
 It is alleged that in Nauvoo, among the Mormons, a secret 
 body of men had been chosen, who were enrolled, under the 
 most frightful oaths, to avenge every wrong which might be 
 perpetrated against the Saints. This band was said to have 
 originated with Sidney Rigdon and Dr. Sampson Avard, and, 
 as I have somewhere else mentioned, Thomas B. Marsh and 
 Hyde the present chief of the Apostles both made affidavit that 
 such was the case, and that the band was sworn to commit the 
 most shocking acts of vengeance, — and surely Marsh and 
 Hyde ought to know. Various names were chosen for this 
 " death society." First the members were called Daughters 
 of Zion [from Micah iv. 13]. But as it sounded rather 
 ridiculous to speak of bearded ruffians as " daughters," that 
 name was abandoned, and the title " Avenging Angels " sub- 
 stituted ; and that, with some other names then temporarily 
 used, were subsequently dropped for the name " Danites " [from 
 Genesis xlix. 17], which has since been retained ; — not by the 
 Mormons, for they have ever deuied the existence of any such 
 band, but by the Gentiles. 
 
 It matters very little what the name of such a society might 
 be, so long as it existed at all ; and that it does, and has, ex- 
 isted in some form cannot reasonably be denied. There pro- 
 bably is not at the present time any formally enrolled society, 
 but it is quite certain that for mauy years past if " The 
 Church" had only dropped a hint that any man's blood 
 
230 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 ought to be shed, that man would have had a very short 
 tenure of his life. Even Brigham himself said publicly : 
 
 " If men come here and do not behave themselves, they will 
 not only find the Danites, whom they talk so much about, 
 biting the horses' heels, but the scoundrels will find something 
 bitiug their heels. In my plain remarks I simply call things by 
 their own names." 
 
 It is beyond a doubt that, notwithstanding all the social 
 changes and improvements of late years, the secret police of 
 Salt Lake City are in matters of crime, as well as in fact, 
 though not perhaps nominally, the successors of the original 
 " death society ;" — many of its members are known to have 
 committed grievous crimes and to have repeatedly dyed their 
 hands in blood. The shocking deeds that every now and then 
 are divulged to the world are all of their doing, and no re- 
 sident of Salt Lake City, whether Mormon or Gentile, although 
 he might prudently decline to state his opinions, would in his 
 mind question the fact that it is fear of consequences, and only 
 because the Saints are " on their good behaviour " in the sight 
 of the Federal Government, that the hands of these wretches 
 are withheld from a continuance of their old enormities. 
 
 As might be supposed, the establishment of a secret band 
 of men professedly ready at a moment to steal, to shed blood, 
 or commit any crime at the command of their leaders, created 
 great excitement in the whole State of Missouri, and especially 
 in the vicinity of the Mormon Settlements. 
 
 Like the Ishmaelites of old, the hands of the Saints were 
 against every man, and every man's hand was against them. 
 They were taught that they were " a chosen nation, a royal 
 priesthood, a peculiar people " — the " Sword of the Lord and 
 of Gideon " was to be theirs ; they were to go forth conquering 
 and to conquer ; and the Gentiles were to be trodden down 
 beneath their feet. 
 
 As might be expected, trouble immediately arose ; the people 
 of Missouri outraged the Mormons, and the Mormons in return 
 outraged them. Murders, thefts, and the most shameful 
 atrocities were of daily occurrence, and the history of those 
 terrible doings would fill a good-sized volume. Suffice it to say, 
 that the excitement continued and increased, reprisals being 
 made on both sides ; finally the mob was triumphant, and after 
 committing many fearful excesses it was organized into a 
 militia— the leading men in authority declaring that the Mor- 
 mons must either leave the State or else they must be extir- 
 pated by the sword. 
 
The Origin of " The Reformation" 231 
 
 Notwithstanding all this, the Mormons, at all times ar> 
 industrious people, were in one sense successful and pros- 
 perous ; the morality, however, of some of their leading men 
 was to say the least very questionable. It was openly argued 
 that the silver and gold were the Lord's, and so were the cattle 
 on a thousand hills. The Scripture says that God has given 
 His people all things richly to enjoy. The Saints were the 
 people of God : — He had given them all the wealth and sub- 
 stance of the earth, and therefore it was no sin for them to help 
 themselves ; they were but taking their own. To overreacn 
 or defraud their enemies was facetiously called by the Mormons 
 " milking the Gentiles." 
 
 Their city called Nauvoo — The Beautiful,— a name given by 
 the Prophet Joseph and supposed to be of celestial origin, was 
 well laid out and well built, a costly Temple was nearly com- 
 plete, and the leaders, at least, began to show signs of wealth 
 and prosperity. This however was but a lull before the storm. 
 Writs upon various charges against Joseph and the leading 
 Elders had always been floating about, and the serving of some 
 of the later ones had only been prevented by technical diffi- 
 culties or the personal fears of the Sheriff. To enter Nauvoo 
 for the purpose of arresting the Prophet was like bearding 
 the lion in his den ; for by this time a splendidly equipped 
 and drilled militia regiments under the name of Nauvoo 
 Legion had been organized, and Joseph had been elected 
 Lieutenant-General. The regiment consisted solely of well- 
 tried Mormons who were devotedly attached to their leader ; 
 besides which, the whole of the population of the city was at 
 his call at a moment's notice. 
 
 Into the city of the Saints, as far as was possible to prevent 
 it, no Gentile was allowed to intrude. It was at risk of life 
 and property that any one ventured. One oddly original mode 
 of driving out the devoted stranger is worthy of mention — it 
 was called " wit it t ling a man out of the town ! " Opposite 
 the victim's door a number of men and overgrown boys would 
 take up their quarters, each armed with a stout stick of wood 
 and a huge knife. No sooner did the Gentile appear than 
 the whole horde gathered in a circle round him. Not a word 
 was uttered, but each man grasping firmly his stick in his 
 left hand, pointed its other end to within a few inches of the 
 victim's face, while with the knife in his right hand he sliced 
 a shaving out of the wood in such a way as to bring the 
 point of the knife almost against the face of the unfortunate 
 man. Wherever he turned they attended him, always pre- 
 
232 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 serving the strictest silence, and never actually touching him. 
 The intolerable sensation caused by the " whittling " of this 
 strange body-guard, who were in attendance day and night, 
 and the unpleasantness of seeing half a score of sharp knives 
 flashing perpetually within an inch of his nose, generally sub- 
 dued the strongest-minded Gentile ; — few could endure it for 
 more than a day or so at the utmost : they were glad to leave — 
 " Whittled out of the town ! " 
 
 The evil day, however, at last came. The Prophet, fear- 
 ing arrest, fled, but was persuaded to return and deliver 
 himself up. The charge against him was one for which 
 reasonable bail could be taken ; bail was offered, accepted, 
 and the prisoners discharged. Before leaving court, however, 
 the Prophet and his brother Hyrum, the Patriarch, were 
 arrested upon a trumped-up charge of treason, a charge for 
 which it was impossible that ba'if should be taken ; they 
 were therefore committed to custody in Carthage jail, under 
 solemn promise from Governor Ford of Illinois that the 
 State should be answerable for their personal protection. 
 The same day, however, a mob of over one hundred men, 
 assisted, it is said, by the militia who were left in charge, burst 
 into the jail and assassinated the Prophet and his brother. 
 
 As might be supposed, this outrage by no means weakened 
 the Mormon cause ; their Prophet was now a martyr, and his 
 name became more powerful after death than it could possibly 
 have been had he lived. It was, however, clearer than ever 
 that nothing could now reconcile the people of Illinois to the 
 Mormons, and the latter seriously began to think of leaving 
 that State in a body as they had formerly left Missouri. 
 
 The terrible doings of those times I have no idea of re- 
 lating just now ; I simply allude to them in order that the 
 reader may understand how, in the excitement produced in 
 that border-warfare, it was possible for such strange events as 
 afterwards transpired in Utah to originate. I may simply add, 
 that the Temple being completed, and the first " Endow- 
 ments " given there, the people gathered up what little 
 property they could rescue from the mob, and under the 
 guidance of Brigham Young, and amidst privations, suffer- 
 ings, and outrages of the most painful character, left the city 
 which they had founded in Illinois, and set out for the Rocky 
 Mountains, where, beside the Great Salt Lake, they founded 
 their modern Zion. 
 
 Free now from the violence of mobs and Gentile enmity, it 
 might have been supposed that the hatred which had so long 
 
The Origin of" The Reformation" 233 
 
 been part of the Mormon faith would have died a natural 
 death. The contrary, however, was the case. The Mexican 
 war was then raging, and, en route to the Rocky Mountains, 
 the Mormons had received a proposal from the Federal 
 Government that they should supply a regiment, upon highly 
 advantageous conditions, to join the United States troops 
 which were then operating in California. This suggestion 
 was kindly made, for it was thought that the Mormon regi- 
 ment thus raised would in ideality be only marching their own 
 way in going to California, and that the outfits, pay, arms, &c, 
 which were to be theirs, after the year for which they were 
 enrolled had expired, would be of essential service to them. 
 It was like paying men liberally for making a journey for 
 their own benefit. 
 
 Notwithstanding all this, Brighnm Young and the leaders 
 represented the transaction in quite another light, and the 
 people were taught that an engagement, into which they had 
 entered of their own free will, and from whicli they had de- 
 rived substantial advantages, was an act of heartless cruelty 
 and despotic tyranny on the part of the Government. This 
 feeling was fostered, until at length the Saints as a body 
 regarded themselves as a wronged and outraged people, and 
 considered every Gentile, in fact the whole nation, as their 
 natural enemies. This was perhaps all the more singular, 
 since, after the vast tract of country, of which Utah forms a 
 part, had, at the end of the war, been wrested from Mexico, 
 Brigham Young had been appointed by President Millard 
 Fillmore the first Governor and Indian Agent of the territoiy ; 
 he was therefore in Federal pay, and bound, as long as he re- 
 tained office, to support the Government, or at the very least 
 not to stir up disaffection. 
 
 Trouble soon arose between Governor Young and the 
 Mormons on one side and the Judges and United States 
 courts and officials on the other. Once an armed mob burst 
 into the Supreme Court, and forced the Judge then sitting to 
 adjourn ; at another time a bonfire was made of the books and 
 papers of the District Courts ; then a Judge on the bench 
 was threatened with personal outrage ; and subsequently a 
 posse summoned by legal (!) process "encamped" for a whole 
 fortnight over against another posse summoned without legal 
 process, the two bodies burning with bitter hatred and breath- 
 ing out threatenings and slaughter. Such a state of affairs 
 could not, of course, last long. On the one side the wildest 
 statements were publicly made against the Government ; 
 
234 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 threats which, uttered by a little band of pioneers against a 
 mighty nation, were perfectly ridiculous, stirred up the hearts 
 of the Saints. On the other hand it was pretty certain that 
 Federal Iroops would have to be sent out to Utah to preserve 
 the peace of the Territory. The Federal Government was 
 nevertheless defied, abused, and derided, and the people, 
 thoroughly blinded by their fanaticism, did not for a moment 
 doubt that, should Governor Young " declare war," the United 
 States troops would vanish before the " Armies " of the Saints 
 like chaff upon the threshing-floor. So absurd does all this 
 appear that I should really hardly venture to repeat it were it 
 not that every one in Utah — Mormon and Gentile — knows 
 that I am really understating facts rather than otherwise. 
 Very soon came a crisis in Mormon history, for which all the 
 wild sayings and unlawful doings had been so long paving the 
 way: — " The Reformation " was destined to be the crowning 
 point of Saintly folly and Saintly sin. 
 
235 
 
 CHAPTER XXV. 
 
 THE " REIGN OP TERROR " IN UTAH : THE REFORMATION OF 
 
 THE SAINTS. 
 
 The people were now thoroughly excited. Their religious 
 antipathy, their political hatred — two of the most powerful 
 passions which move individuals or bodies of meu — had been 
 appealed to, aud both in public and private they had been 
 stirred up to a pitch of frenzy which it is hardly possible at 
 the present time to comprehend. 
 
 There were whisperings now of a most fearful doctrine, 
 calculated not only to strike terror into the heaits of those 
 whose faith was weakening, but even to shock with a sense 
 of horror those who only heard of it from afar — I mean the 
 doctrine of the Blood Atonement. 
 
 The Saints had all along been taught to distinguish between 
 murder and the shedding of innocent blood — the former being 
 spoken of as a crime for which atonement might be made, but 
 for the latter there was no repentance on earth — it was an 
 unpardonable sin. They were also taught to distinguish 
 carefully between sins which might be forgiven, and sins for 
 which pardon was impossible. Now the difference between 
 murder and shedding innocent blood is this : — the latter is the 
 crime of killing a Saint, which can never be forgiven, but by 
 the death of the transgressor ; but the former is of quite a 
 different chaiacter. To murder a Gentile may sometimes be 
 inexpedient, or perhaps even to a certain extent wrong, but it 
 is seldom if ever a crime, and never an unpardonable sin. 
 
 A friend of mine was in a state of apostacy. The Bishop 
 went to her to expostulate, and told her that, if he were her 
 husband, he would get rid of her and take away her children 
 as well — he would not on any account live with her. 
 
 "Perhaps," she said, "you would not allow me to live at 
 all ? " 
 
 " Certainly not," he replied. "I would think about as much 
 of killing you or any other miserable Apostate as 1 would 
 
236 An Englishivoman in Utah. 
 
 about killing a cat. If Brigham Young -were to tell me to put 
 you to death, I would do it with the greatest of pleasure ; — 
 and it would be for your good, too." 
 
 Thus, when the famous Revelation on Polygamy says that 
 a man cannot be pardoned for shedding innocent blood, it does 
 not mean that he cannot be pardoned for murdering a Gentile 
 or an Apostate ; for that, under some circumstances, might 
 even be meritorious ; but that the murder of a Saint by one of 
 the brethren cannot under any circumstances be forgiven on 
 earth, and that his only chance of forgiveness lies in his own 
 blood being shed as an " atonement." 
 
 Certain sins cannot be forgiven here on earth — shedding 
 innocent blood, divulging the secrets of the Endowment 
 House — marital unfaithfulness on the part of the wife — 
 Apostacy ; — these are unpardonable. All other crimes which 
 Gentiles abhor may become even virtues, if done in the cause 
 of the Church. I do not, of course, mean to say that the mass 
 of the Mormon people act up to such atrocious doctrines ; for 
 although, when among themselves, they would admit that the 
 theory was correct, the better instincts of their nature keep 
 them from ever putting that theory into practice. But what 
 I do mean to say is, that such doctrines have, over and over 
 again, been distinctly taught in the plainest words in the public 
 hearing of thousands ; that they have been printed and re- 
 printed by authority ; that they have been practised, and the 
 very highest of the Mormon leaders have applauded; and that, 
 even at the present moment, these doctrines form part of the 
 dogmas of the Church. It is this day a matter of fact, and 
 not a matter of question, that if any Mormon Apostate were 
 to commit any of the unpardonable sins which I have men- 
 tioned, and if he or she were to be assassinated by a private 
 individual, all zealous Mormons — all the leaders — would 
 maintain that not only was the deed justifiable but even 
 meritorious ! 
 
 This may seem bad enough, but it is not the worst. The 
 doctrine of the " Blood Atonement " is that the murder of 
 an Apostate is a deed of love ! If a Saint sees another leave 
 the Church, or if even he only believes that his brother's faith 
 is weakening and that he will apostatize before long, he knows 
 that the soul of his unbelieving brother will be lost if he dies 
 in such a state, and that only by his blood being shed is there 
 any chance of forgiveness for him ; it is therefore the kindest 
 action that he can perform toward him to shed his blood — the 
 doing so is a deed of truest love. The nearer, the dearer, the 
 
The "Reign of Terror" in Utah. 237 
 
 more tenderly loved the sinner is, the greater the affection 
 shown by the shedder of blood — the action is no longer murder 
 or the shedding of innocent blood, for the taint of apostacy 
 takes away its innocence — it is making atonement, not a crime ; 
 it is an act of mercy, therefore meritorious. 
 
 These were the terrible teachings which the " Reformation " 
 brought to light : — they had been whispered before among the 
 elect, and had been acted upon by the " Avenging Angels," 
 but before this they had never been publicly and intelligibly 
 explained. 
 
 Jedediah M. Grant, an enthusiast of the wildest kind ; a man 
 without education or mental discipline of any description ; one 
 of the First Presidency and high in authority among the 
 Saints, had occasion to attend a meeting which was held at 
 Kaysville, a place about twenty-five miles distant from Salt 
 Lake City, and he invited some of the Elders to meet him 
 there to take part in the proceedings. To one of these 
 " Jeddy," as he was familiarly called, obligingly lent a mule ; 
 he himself did not accompany the party, but went on before. 
 These elders were pretty well mounted, and one of them, being 
 a good horseman, made the rest keep up with him. In conse- 
 quence of this, when they arrived at Kaysville, the beasts were 
 heated and tired. The Apostle " Jeddy " watched them but 
 said nothing. 
 
 Up to a certain point, the meeting passed off pleasantly 
 enough ; the Elders present were " good at testimony " and 
 strong in exhorting the hearers to faithfulness. Jeddy was 
 the last speaker. He began in his usual way, but presently 
 warmed up until he became quite excited, and then proceeded 
 to accuse every one present of all sorts of wrong-doing. The 
 Elders who had preceded him came in for their full share ; he 
 denounced them for their inconsistency and hypocrisy, and 
 bitterly upbraided them for running his mule and their own 
 beasts in such a manner. The Bishop of the place and his 
 counsellors he accused of inactivity and carelessness ; ami he 
 called loudly upon every one present to repent and do their 
 first works ; threatening them with the speedy judgments of 
 Heaven. 
 
 All this was well enough if it had stopped there, for it might 
 have been taken for just what it, was — an ebullition of temper 
 on the part of " Jeddy," who was naturally vexed that his rtule 
 had been over-heated. But, like many other manias and epi- 
 demics, this Mormon movement began with a most insignifi- 
 cant trifle, and the spirit of fiery denunciation became perfectly 
 
238 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 contagions. Another meeting was held in the course of a few- 
 weeks, and then the mutual accusations of those who were 
 present became, if possible, more bitter than before ; the 
 " Saints " were denounced as the vilest of sinners, and they 
 were all commanded to be re-baptized. Accordingly, after the 
 meeting, although it was night and the weather was cold, a 
 considerable number were immersed by the Elders, and Jeddy 
 himself was so enthusiastically engaged in the performance, 
 and he remained in the water so long that he got a thorough 
 chill, and contracted the disease of which he died. 
 
 Sunday after Sunday similar scenes were repeated in the 
 Tabernacle, until, had it not been painful, the whole affair 
 would have been ludicrous in the extreme. Every one had 
 strayed from the path of duty, and the fact was announced in 
 the strongest terms. People were called upon by name to 
 publicly confess their sins, and many were then and there 
 pointed out and accused of crimes of which they were entirely 
 guiltless, but which they dared not deny. In the midst of all 
 this, the duty of implicit obedience to the Priesthood and the 
 payment of tithes was loudly insisted upon. 
 
 The Missionaries were sent out all over the territory, armed 
 with the full authority of the Priesthood, and also a catechism 
 which, on account of its obscene character, has since been 
 bought up so successfully by Brigham that it is doubtful if 
 there is a copy in existence. The Mormons have a curious 
 way of appointing Missionaries. If a man is weak in the 
 faith — a depraved, bad man — or if a youth exhibits a dis- 
 position to sow his wild oats a little too luxuriantly, he is 
 sent on his travels to preach the Gospel ; nothing strengthens 
 a man's faith, it is thought, more than having to defend it from 
 the opposition of unbelievers, and the enforced good example 
 which the Missionary is obliged to set will, it is said, produce 
 a salutary effect upon the exuberance of youth or the depravity 
 of more mature years. In the present instance many of the 
 Missionaries thus sent forth were known to be as immoral as 
 they were grossly ignorant. 
 
 There was one terrible meeting at which Brigham himself 
 was put to the blush. Men of note were there ; no one was 
 present who did not belong to the Priesthood. " Jeddy " held 
 forth, and Heber and Brigham were strong upon the occasion. 
 In the midst of the proceedings, Brother Brigham, full of 
 confidence, in the plainest words called upon all who could 
 not plead guiltless of certain crimes to stand up. Three- 
 fourths of those present immediately arose. Utterly shocked, 
 
The "Reign of Terror" in Utah. 239 
 
 the Prophet entered into explanations ; but self-convicted 
 these three-fourths of his hearers stood conscientiously firm. 
 Even Brigham saw the necessity of taking some stringent 
 measures. The Saints were told that if they were re-baptized 
 their sins would be washed away, and they could then say 
 they were not guilty of the crimes suggested in the catechism. 
 Subsequently the catechism itself was, as I said, bought up 
 and burnt. 
 
 The burden of every sermon was unquestioning obedience, 
 repentance, payment of tithing, and above all the taking of 
 more wives. The Missionaries, without the slightest ceremony, 
 would visit the houses of respectable Saints, examine them 
 out of the abominable catechism, aud question husbands and 
 wives in the presence of their children about even their very 
 thoughts, in a manner, and upon subjects, which would amply 
 have justified their being hung up to the nearest tree ; Lynch 
 law was in fact too good for such atrocities. Wicked ideas, 
 the utterance of which would have called forth a blush, even 
 if heard from the lips of a drunken rowdy in a pot-house, were 
 suggested and explained to young children ; while it would 
 have been literally at the risk of life for their parents to have 
 expostulated ; to do so would have shown want of faith, and 
 want of faith would have justified some fanatical scoundrel in 
 using his knife or his pistol for the loving purpose of cut- 
 ting off his brother's soul from earth in order to save it in 
 heaven ! 
 
 Meanwhile Jedediah did not for a moment cease his ex- 
 hortations ; the work must be done thoroughly : the Blood- 
 Atonement must not be forgotten. On one occasion, in the 
 Tabernacle, this crazy fanatic said : — 
 
 " I would advise some of you men here to go to President 
 Young, and confess your sins, and ask him to take you outside 
 the city and have your blood shed to atone for your sins." 
 
 " There are men and women that I would advise to go to 
 the President immediately, and ask him to appoint a committee 
 to attend to their case ; and then let a place be selected, and 
 let that committee shed their blood 
 
 "I would ask how many covenant-breakers there are in this 
 city and in this kingdom ? I believe that there are a great 
 many ; and if they are covenant-breakers, we need a place 
 designated where we can shed their blood." 
 
 " We have been trying long enough with this people, and I 
 
240 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 go in for letting the sword of the Almighty be unsheathed, 
 not only in word but in deed." 
 
 Lest he should be mistaken, he said : — 
 
 "What ought this meek people who keep the commandments 
 of God do unto them ? ' Why,' says one, ' they ought to pray 
 the Lord to kill them.' I want to know if you would wish the 
 Lord to come down and do all your dirty work ? . . . 
 When a man prays for a thing, he ought to be willing to perform 
 it himself. .... Putting to death the transgressors would 
 exhibit the law of God, no matter by whom it was done." 
 
 Heber C. Kimball, the " model Saint," after a speech to the 
 same effect, in which, as usual, he made use of the most dis- 
 gusting language, added : — 
 
 " Joseph Smith was God to the inhabitants of the earth 
 when he was among us, and Brigham is God now ! " 
 
 But more shocking than any other was the language of 
 Brigham Young himself. On the 21st of September, 1856, in 
 a discourse delivered in the Bowery, Great Salt Lake City, and 
 afterwards reprinted by authority in the Journals of Dis- 
 courses, vol. iv., pp. 53-4, he said : — 
 
 " The time is coming when justice will be laid to the line 
 and righteousness to the plummet ; when we shall take the 
 old broadsword and ask, ' Are you for God ? ' and if you are 
 not heartily on the Lord's side, you will be hewn down ! " 
 
 " There are sins that men commit for which they cannot 
 receive forgiveness in this world or in that which is to come; 
 and if they had their eyes opened to see their true condition, 
 they would be perfectly willing to have their blood spilt upon 
 the ground, that the smoke thereof might ascend to Heaven as 
 an offering for their sins', and the smoking incense would atone 
 for their sins ; whereas, if such is not the case, they will stick 
 to them and remain with them in the spirit world. 
 
 "I know, when you hear my brethren telling about cutting 
 people off from the earth, that you consider it is strong doc- 
 trine ; but it is to save them, not to destroy them. .... 
 
 " I do know that there are sins committed of such a nature 
 that, if the people did understand the doctrine of salvation, 
 they would tremble because of their situation. And, further- 
 more, I know that there are trangressors who, if they knew 
 themselves, and the only condition upon which they can obtain 
 forgiveness, would beg of their brethren to shed their blood, 
 that the smoke thereof might ascend to God as an offering to 
 appease the wrath that is kindled against them, and that the 
 
The "Reign of Terror" in Utah. 241 
 
 law might have its course. I will say, further, I have had 
 men come to me and offer their lives to atone for their sins. 
 
 " It is true that the blood of the Son of God was shed for 
 sins through the fall and those committed by men, yet men 
 can commit sins which it can never remit. As it was in 
 ancient days, so it is in our day ; and though the principles 
 are taught publicly from this stand, still the people do not 
 understand them ; yet the law is precisely the same. There 
 are sins that cau be atoned for by an offering upon an altar, as 
 in ancient clays ; and there are sins that the blood of a lamb, 
 of a calf, or of turtle doves cannot remit, but they must be 
 atoned for by the blood of the man." 
 
 One would have supposed that even Brigham had now 
 reached the culminating point of horror and blasphemy. But 
 no ; — a month or so later he even surpassed himself when in a 
 Tabernacle sermon he said: — 
 
 " When will we love our neighbours as ourselves ? In the 
 first place, Jesus said that no man hateth his own flesh. It is 
 admitted by all that every person loves himself. Now if we 
 do rightly love ourselves, we want to be saved, and continue 
 to exist ; we want to go into the kingdom where we can enjoy 
 eternity, and see no more sorrow nor death. This is the 
 desire of every person who believes in God. Now take a 
 person in this congregation who has knowledge with regard to 
 being saved in the kingdom of our God and our Father, and 
 being exalted, one who knows and understands the principles 
 of eternal life, and sees the beauties and excellency of the 
 eternities before him compared with the vain and foolish thiugs 
 of the world, and suppose that he is overtaken in a gross fault, 
 that he had committed a sin that he knows will deprive him 
 of that exaltation which he desires, and that he cannot attain 
 to it without the shedding of his blood, and also knows that 
 by having his blood shed he will atone for that sin and be 
 saved and exalted with the gods, is there a man or a woman 
 in this house but would say, ' Shed my blood that I might be 
 saved and exalted with the gods ? ' 
 
 "All mankind love themselves: and let those principles but 
 be known by an individual, and he would be glad to have his 
 blood shed. This would be loving ourselves even unto an 
 eternal exaltation. Will you love your brothers or sisters 
 likewise when they have a sin that cannot be atoned for with- 
 out the shedding of their blood ? Will you love that man or 
 woman well enough to shed their blood ? That is what Jesus 
 Christ meant. He never told a man or woman to love their 
 
 R 
 
242 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 enemies in their wickedness, never. He never meant any 
 such thing ; His language is left as it is for those to read who 
 have the spirit to discern between truth and error ; it was so 
 left for those who can discern the things of God. Jesus 
 Christ never meant that we should love a wicked man in his 
 wickedness. 
 
 " I could refer you to plenty of instances where men have been 
 righteously slain in order to atone for their sins. I have seen 
 scores and hundreds of people for whom there would have 
 been a chance (in the last resurrection there will be) if their 
 lives had been taken and their blood spilled on the grouud as a 
 smoking incense to the Almighty, but who are now angels to 
 the devil, until our elder brother, Jesus Christ, raises them up 
 and conquers death, hell, and the grave. 
 
 " I have known a great many men who have left this church, 
 for whom there is no chance whatever for exaltion, but if 
 their blood had been spilled it would have been better for 
 them. 
 
 " The wickedness and ignorance of the nations forbid this 
 principle being in full force, but the time will come when the 
 law of God will be in full force. This is loving our neigh- 
 bour as ourselves ; if he needs help, help him ; if he wants 
 salvation, and it is necessary to spill his blood on the earth in 
 order that he may be saved, spill it. 
 
 " Any of you who understand the principles of eternity, if 
 you have sinned a sin requiring the shedding of blood, 
 except the sin unto death, should not be satisfied or rest until 
 your blood should be spilled, that you might gain that salva- 
 tion you desire. That is the way to love mankind. . . 
 Light and darkness cannot dwell together, and so it is with 
 the kingdom of God. , 
 
 " Now, brethren and sisters, will you live your religion ? 
 How many hundreds of times have I asked that question! 
 Will the Latter-Day Saints live their religion ?" 
 
 And so, according to Brigham Young, their Prophet, this 
 was the religion of the Saints! Aud the people acted up to 
 the " religion " thus taught : and the story is so terrible that 
 one dare not even whisper all its details. 
 
 It is no secret that all this was understood literally. The 
 wife of one Elder, when he was absent on a mission, acted 
 unfaithfully towards him. Her husband took counsel of the 
 authorities, and was reminded that the shedding of her blood 
 alone could save her. He returned and told her, but she 
 asked for time, which was readily granted. One day, in a 
 
The " Reign of Terror" in Utah. 243 
 
 moment of affection, when she was seated on his knee, he 
 reminded her of her doom, and suggested that now when their 
 hearts were full of love was a suitable time for carrying it 
 into execution. She acquiesced, and out 0/ love he cut her 
 throat from ear to ear. 
 
 In many instances the outrages committed against persons 
 who were known to be innocent were so revolting that no 
 woman — nay, even no right-minded man — would venture to 
 more than just allude to them. A few, however, and only a 
 few, and they by no means the worst, of the milder cases I 
 will just mention. 
 
 There was the murder of the Aikin party — six persons — 
 who were killed on their way to California. The same year a 
 man name Yates was killed under atrocious circumstances ; 
 and Franklin McNeil who had sued Brigham for false imprison- 
 ment and who was killed at his hotel dcor. There was 
 Sergeant Pike, and there was Arnold and Drown. There 
 was Price and William Bryan at Fairfield ; there was Altnon 
 Babbitt, and Brassfield, and Dr. Robinson ; there was also 
 James Cowdy and his wife and child, and Margetts and his 
 wife ; and many another, too — to say nothing of that frightful 
 murder at the Mountain Meadows. 
 
 Besides these there is good reason to think that Lieutenant 
 Gunnison and his party were also victims, although it was 
 said that they were shot by " Indians." The Potter and 
 Piinish murders were notorious; Forbes, and Jones and his 
 mother, might be added to the same list ; the dumb boy, 
 Andrew Bernard ; a woman killed by her own husband ; 
 Morris the rival Prophet, and Banks, and four women who 
 belonged to their party ; Isaac Potter, and Charles Wilson, 
 aud John Walker. These are but a few. The death list is 
 too long for me to venture to give it. 
 
 One instance I can give from my own personal knowledge. 
 A sister, who occasionally does a little work at my house, on 
 one occasion said to me : " Mrs. Stenhouse, when first I came 
 to this country I lived in the southern portion of Utah. One 
 day I saw a woman running across the fields towards our 
 house, pale and trembling. When she came in she looked 
 round her as if she were frightened, and she asked if any one 
 besides our own family were present. On being assured (hat 
 there was no one present whom she might fear, she said : — 
 'Two men came to our house late last night and asked to see 
 my husband, who had already retired. He was in bed, but 
 they insisted that he must get up, as they had a message from 
 
 k 2 
 
244 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 " the authorities" for him. When they saw him they requested 
 him to go with them to attend, they said, to some Church 
 business. I became very much alarmed, for my poor husband 
 had been known to speak rather freely of late of some of the 
 measures of the Church, but he tried to reassure me, and finally 
 left the house with the two men. In about an hour after 
 they came back, bearing between them his lifeless body. 
 They laid him upon the bed, and then one of them pulled 
 aside the curtain which constituted our only cupboard, and 
 took therefrom a bake-kettle and stood it beside the bed, in 
 order to catch the blood that was flowing from a fearful 
 wound in his throat. They then left the house, telling me to 
 make as little noise about it as possible, or they might serve 
 me in the same way. The men were masked, and I cannot tell 
 who they are, but I spent a fearful night with my poor dead 
 husband.' " This sister added : " Sister Stenhouse, in those 
 more fearful times we dared not speak to each other about 
 such things for fear of spies." 
 
 These were all well-known and notorious instances. I sa) 
 nothing of those of whose fate nothing — not even a whisper 
 — was ever heard ; and I say nothing of the frightful " cut- 
 tings off" before the Reformation and in recent years. 
 
 Gentile men and women were killed, for hatred ; and that 
 " killing " was no murder, for theirs was not innocent blood. 
 Apostates, and Saints of doubtful faith, and those who were 
 obnoxious, had their blood shed — all for love — and that " cut- 
 ting off" was also no murder, because to secure their salvation 
 by cutting their throats was an act of mercy. Can it be pos- 
 sible that men should thus act and say — and believe — that 
 Jesus, the gentle and merciful Saviour, commanded it when 
 He said : " Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself"? 
 
 All through this Reign of Terror, marrying and giving in 
 marriage was the order of the day. It mattered not if a man 
 was seventy years of age, according to Brother Brigham he 
 was still a boy — " the brethren are all boys until they are 
 a hundred years old " — and some young girl of sixteen, fifteen, 
 or even younger would be " counselled " — that is, commanded 
 — to marry him. She might even have a sister no older than 
 herself, and then as likely as not he would take the two to 
 wife, and very probably both on the same day. The girls 
 were told that to marry a young man was not a safe thing, for 
 young men were not tried — it was better to marry a well- 
 tested patriarch, and then their chances of " exaltation " in 
 the kingdom of heaven were sure and certain. In this way 
 
The "Reign of Terror" in Utah. 245 
 
 the life-long happiness of many a girl — little more than a 
 child — was blighted for ever. At the time of which I speak, 
 every unmarried woman, or girl who could by the utmost 
 stretch of possibility be thought old enough to marry, was 
 forced to find a husband, or a husband was immediately found 
 for her, and without any regard to her wishes was forced upon 
 her. Young men, and even boys, were forced, not only into 
 marriage, but even polygamy, and none dared resist. The 
 marrying mania, in fact, was universal and irresistible — every- 
 one must marry or be given in marriage. So evidently was 
 this the case that women in jest said that, if one were to hang 
 a petticoat upon a fence-pole, half a dozen men would flock at 
 once to marry it ! Absurd as this may seem, it was not very 
 far from the truth. Young men and maidens, old men and chil- 
 dren, widows, virgins, and youths — in fact, every one, whether 
 married or unmarried, it mattered not, was " counselled " — 
 commanded — to marry. 
 
 There is above fanaticism a stronger law which, despite 
 every effort of the deluded victim, will occasionally make itself 
 heard — the voice of Nature. Even during that strange time 
 in which every Saint seemed to have gone stark crazy mad, 
 the frightful anomaly of men of fifty, sixty, and even seventy, 
 marrying mere children — girls of fourteen, and even thirteen — 
 forced itself upon the attention of some of the leaders. 
 The question arose — an odd question to Gentile ears — "At 
 what age is a girl old enough to marry ? " Considerable dis- 
 cussion ensued, and even in the Tabernacle the subject was 
 taken up. The voice of authority, however, eventually 
 answered the matter, but not in the way that any ordinary 
 civilized person would expect. 
 
 In those times, unmarried girls were very scarce — in the 
 settlements it was difficult to find any at all. Not infrequently 
 it happened that a brother was " counselled " to marry, but 
 could not obey, as there was no unmarried woman in the place 
 where he lived. In that case he generally paid a visit to 
 Salt Lake City. But business at the Endowment House 
 nevertheless was pretty lively ; in fact, so much so that it was 
 deemed necessary to set apart certain days for the various 
 Settlements. Once, when the " Provo day " was fast approach - 
 iug, two old brethren from that town who had been counselled 
 to enlarge their families, but who had been unsuccessful in 
 finding partners, began to despair of being able to obey "the 
 word of the Lord ! " The day before that appointed for the 
 Endowments and Celestial Marriage arrived, and they were as 
 
246 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 far from success as ever. Being neighbours, the two old 
 gentlemen met and mingled their griefs, and considered what 
 might be done. It then occurred to them that there was a 
 certain brother who had two daughters, respectively twelve 
 and fourteen years of age, and they resolved to call upon him 
 about these children. As might be supposed, the father at 
 first refused them, giving as a reason that the girls were too 
 young. The old men explained that if they could not marry 
 the children it was impossible for them to "obey counsel," 
 and the father then agreed. The next morning the marriage 
 ceremony was performed in the Endowment House. One of 
 these wretches was sixty years of age, and the other a few 
 years younger. The father of the children was about forty. 
 I am really afraid that the reader will thiuk that I exaggerate 
 or misrepresent facts. I wish it were so, for the case is so 
 outrageously atrocious ; but I am sorry to say that scores and 
 hundreds of instances similar to this, which occurred during 
 the Reformation, might be given. 
 
 There are before me as I write, letters, papers, documents 
 of various sorts relative to marriage and the matrimonial 
 affairs of the Saints, at the time of which I speak, that I wish 
 the reader could peep at. I would not like him to read them 
 — in fact, I dared not read them all myself, for some of them 
 are so shameful that the mere knowledge of having read them 
 through would make any right-minded person blush. Taking 
 more wives was the order of the day — how, was of little 
 matter. 
 
 The work of " Reformation " was in full progress ; the 
 people were excited to frenzy ; the Federal troops were ex- 
 pected ; men were marrying and maidens were given in mar- 
 riage ; every one in Utah was looking forward to the time 
 when the Prophecies of Joseph, the Seer, should be fulfilled, 
 and the Son of Man should come: — and then, when one would 
 have supposed that every man would have wished that his 
 hands should be pure, was perpetrated a deed which is un- 
 paralleled in modern civilized times — a deed at which angels 
 and men have stood aghast with horror. 
 
fco 
 
247 
 
 CHAPTER XXVI. 
 
 THE MOUNTAIN MEADOWS MASSACRE : — " I WILL REPAY, SAITH 
 THE LORD." 
 
 I feel myself utterly incompetent to tell the story of the 
 Mountain Meadows Massacre — it is so shocking, so fiend-like. 
 And yet it must he told. 
 
 While the work of " Reformation " was going on, and when 
 the United States troops were constantly expected in the 
 Valley of the Great Salt Lake, a large train of emigrants 
 passed through Utah on its way to California. The train 
 consisted of one hundred and twenty or one hundred and 
 thirty persons, and they came chiefly from Arkansas. They 
 were people from the country districts, sober, hard-working, 
 plain folks, but well-to-do, and, taken all in all, about as 
 respectable a band of emigrants as ever passed through Salt 
 Lake City. 
 
 Nothing worthy of any particular note occurred to them 
 until they reached the Valley — that was the point from which 
 they started towards death. 
 
 My old friend Eli B. Kelsey travelled with them from Fort 
 Bridger to Salt Lake City, and he spoke of them in the 
 highest terms. If I remember rightly he said that the train 
 was divided into two parts — the first a rough-and-ready set 
 of men — regular frontier pioneers ; the other a picked com- 
 munity, the members of which were all more or less connected 
 by family ties. They travelled along in the most orderly 
 fashion, without hurry or confusion. On Sunday they rested, 
 and one of their number who had been a Methodist preacher 
 conducted divine service. All went well until they reached 
 Salt Lake City, where they expected to be able to refit aud 
 replenish their stock of provisions : but it was there that they 
 first discovered that feeling of enmity which finally resulted in 
 their destruction. 
 
 Now it so happened that the minds of the Saints in Salt 
 Lake City were at that time strongly prejudiced against the 
 
248 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 people of Arkansas, and for a most unsaintly reason. The 
 Apostle Parley P. Pratt was one of the earliest converts to 
 Mormonism, and who so ably defended his adopted creed 
 with his pen and from the platform, had not very long before 
 been sojourning in Arkansas, and had there run away with 
 another man's wife. This was only a trifle for an " Apostle " 
 to do, and the husband — Mr. McLean — might have known it. 
 But he was a most inconsiderate man, and was actually offended 
 with the amorous Apostle for what he had done. He pursued 
 him and killed him, for in those rough parts it was considered 
 that the Apostle did wrong in marrying the man's wife. 
 Nobody, however, took any notice of the matter or brought the 
 murderer to trial. The Mormon people, of course, took the 
 side of the Apostle Parley P. Pratt. Sensitive themselves to 
 the highest degree concerning their wives and daughters, they 
 considered McLean a sinner for doing just exactly what any 
 Saint would have certainly done. Their opinion, however, 
 would have been a matter of consequence only to themselves, 
 had not such fatal consequences resulted from it. Reasoning 
 without reason, they argued that McLean was the enemy of 
 every Mormon, and every Mormon was the enemy of McLean ; 
 McLean was protected in Arkansas — therefore every man from 
 Arkansas was an enemy of the Mormons ; — an enemy ought 
 to be cut off — therefore it was the duty of every Mormon to 
 " cut off" — if he could — every Arkansas man. 
 
 This appears to have been the tone of thought which 
 actuated the minds of the leaders of the people at the time 
 when this emigrant train arrived in the City. 
 
 Weary and footsore they encamped by the Jordan River, 
 trusting there to recruit .themselves and their teams, and to 
 replenish their stock of provisions. The harvest in Utah that 
 year had been abundant, and there was nothing to hinder them 
 from obtaining a speedy and full supply. Brigham Young 
 was then Governor of Utah Territory, Commander-in-Chief 
 of the Militia, and Indian Agent as well : he was therefore 
 responsible for all that took place within his jurisdiction. It 
 was his duty to protect all law-abiding persons who either 
 resided in or travelled through the country. The emigrants, 
 so far from being protected, were ordered to break up their camp 
 and move on ; and it is said that written instructions were 
 sent on before them, directing the people in the settlements 
 through which they would have to pass to have no dealings 
 with them. This, considering their need of provisions, was 
 much the same as condemning them to certain death. 
 
The Mountain Meadows Massacre. 249 
 
 Compelled to travel on, they pursued their journey slowly 
 towards Los Angeles. At Auiericau Fork they wished to 
 trade off some of their worn-out stock and to purchase fresh 
 — they also desired to obtain provisions. There was abun- 
 dance of everything from the farm and from the field, for God 
 had very greatly blessed the land that year ; but they could 
 obtain nothing. They passed on, and went through Battle 
 Creek, Provo, Spriugville, Spanish Fork, Payson, Salt Creek, 
 and Fillmore, and their reception was still the same, — the 
 word of the Mormon Pontiff had gone forth, and no man 
 dared to hold communion or to trade with them. Now and 
 then, some Mormon, weak in the faith or braver or more fond 
 of money than his fellows, would steal into the camp, in the 
 darkness of the night, bearing with him just what he was 
 able to carry ; but beyond this they could procure nothing. 
 Their only hope now lay in the chance of holding out until 
 they could push through to some Gentile settlement where the 
 word of the priestly Governor of Utah was not law. Through 
 fifteen different Mormon settlements did they pass, without 
 being able to purchase a morsel of bread. With empty wag- 
 gons and on short allowance, they pushed on until they 
 reached Corn Creek, where, for the first time in saintly Utah, 
 they met a friendly greeting from the Indians, and purchased 
 from them thirty bushels of corn, of which they stood very 
 greatly in need. 
 
 At Beaver they were again repulsed, and at Parowan they 
 were not permitted to enter the town — they were forced to 
 leave the public highway and pass round the west side of the 
 fort wall. They encamped by the stream, and tried as be- 
 fore to obtain food and fresh cattle, but again to no purpose. 
 The reason why they were refused admission to the town 
 was probably because the militia was there assembled 
 unfler Colonel Wm. H. Dame — which militia afterwards 
 assisted in their destruction, for which preparations were even 
 now being made. 
 
 They made their way to Cedar City, the most populous of 
 all the towns of Southern Utah. Here they were allowed to 
 purchase fifty bushels of tithing wheat, and to have it ground 
 at the mill of tbat infamous scoundrel John D. Lee, upon 
 whose memory will rest the eternal curses of all who have 
 ever heard his name. It was, however, no act of mercy, the 
 supplying of this corn. The sellers of it knew well enough 
 even then that it would return to them again in the course of 
 a few days. After all, they had but forty days' rations to 
 
250 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 carry them on to San Bernardino, in California — a journey of 
 about seventy days. Scanty kindness — miserable generosity ! 
 —fifty bushels of corn for a seventy days' journey, for men, 
 women, and young children, and at least one little one to be 
 born on the road. 
 
 They remained in Cedar City only one day, and so jaded 
 were their teams that it took them three days to travel thence 
 to Iron Creek, a distance of twenty miles ; and two days 
 were occupied in journeying fifteen miles — the distance be- 
 tween Iron Creek and the Meadows. 
 
 The morning after they left Iron Creek, the Mormon militia 
 followed them in pursuit, intending, it is supposed, to assault 
 them at Clara Crossing. That this was no private outburst, 
 and that, on the contrary, it was done by authority, is evident 
 from sworn testimony to the effect that the assembling of those 
 troops was the result of " a regular military call from the supe- 
 rior officers to the subordinate officers and privates of the regi- 
 ments. . . Said regiment was duly ordered to muster, armed 
 and equipped as the law directs, and prepared for field opera- 
 tions." A regular military council was held at Parowan, at 
 which were present President Isaac C. Haight, the Mormon 
 High Priest of Southern Utah, Colonel Dame, Major John D. 
 Lee, and the Apostle George A. Smith. 
 
 No military council, whether of the militia or the ordinary 
 troops of the line, would dare to determine upon such an 
 important matter as the cutting off of an emigrant train of 
 one hundred and thirty persons without receiving permission 
 from superior authority. Brigham Young was in this case 
 the superior authority — he was the Commander-in-Chief of 
 the Militia : — the inference is obvious. I do not, of course, 
 say that he gave the order for this accursed deed, but that it 
 was his business to bring the criminals to justice no one can 
 doubt or deny. 
 
 The regiment, which started from Cedar City under the 
 command of Major John D. Lee, the sub-agent for Indian 
 affairs in Southern Utah, was accompanied by baggage-wag- 
 gons and the other paraphernalia of war excepting ouly heavy 
 artillery, which in this case would have been useless. But, at 
 the same time, a large body of the Piede Indians had been 
 invited to accompany them. 
 
 An order came from head-quarters to cut off the entire 
 company except the little children. The emigrants were 
 utterly unprepared, and the first onslaught found them de- 
 fenceless. Accustomed, however, to border warfare, they im- 
 
The Mountain Meadows Massacre. 251 
 
 mediately corralled their waggons and prepared for a siege 
 — their great misfortune was that they had not any water 
 — Major John D. Lee, finding the emigrants resolute, sent to 
 Cedar City and Washington City for reinforcements, which 
 duly arrived. 
 
 The next morning, Major John D. Lee assembled his troops, 
 including the auxiliaries which he had summoned, about 
 half a mile from the entrenchment of the fated emigrants, 
 and then and there informed them, with all the coolness 
 which such an infamous scoundrel alone could muster, that 
 the whole company was to be killed, and only the little chil- 
 dren who were too young to remember anything were to be 
 spared. 
 
 The unfortunate emigrants did not know who their foes 
 were. They saw Indians, or men who were so coloured that 
 they looked like Indians, and they saw others who were more 
 than strangers to them, but they had no clue to the cause of 
 their detention. To them all was mystery. That Indians 
 should attack them was quite within the bounds of probability, 
 although there was at that time no cause for such an outrage; 
 but that such an attack should be persistent, and should be 
 carried on under the peculiar circumstances in question, was, 
 to say the least, highly improbable. 
 
 Who could rightly tell a story so fearful as this ? The 
 emigrant train — men, women, and children fainting and fam- 
 ishing for want of bread and meat. In their pockets was 
 mone) r wherewith the necessaries of life might have been 
 bought, and the generous hand of the Almighty had that year 
 been open so wide, and had scattered those necessaries so 
 liberally, that nothing but the wickedness of man towards his 
 fellow could have created a dearth. But so it was that dark- 
 ness and the fear of death — a fearful death even at the door 
 — was all those poor emigrants had standing before their eyes. 
 What right had the Mormon militia to be pursuing, to be 
 hanging about the skirts of any body of emigrants ? Their 
 very presence was in itself unauthorized — criminal. The 
 emigrants supposed that they were surrounded by Indians, 
 and expected the cruellest treatment in case of resistance not 
 only death, but the outrage and shocking atrocities of savages. 
 Tbey did not know that the red men who threatened their 
 lives and the lives of their helpless wives and infants were 
 brought together at that spot for that same purpose by the 
 counsel of Mormon authorities. They did not know that so 
 many of the appearing red-skins were only painted devils, 
 
252 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 mocks of humanity, wretches who under the mask of a red-skin's 
 colour were eager to perpetrate the foulest of offences — scoun- 
 drels a thousand times damned in the opinion of men, and by 
 the decree of God. 
 
 Day after day went by, and the poor creatures began to 
 despair — who can wonder ? The brave men cared little for 
 their own lives ; but there was something fearful in the 
 thought that their darling ones would be scalped, and torn in 
 pieces, and brutally outraged ! Who can wonder that they 
 resolved to sell life as dearly as they possibly could ? They 
 might at least die in defence of those they loved. 
 
 So day followed day. The agony of the unhappy men and 
 women who were thus besieged, and were in daily, hourly peril 
 of the most frightful of all deaths, can be imagined — not told. 
 Meanwhile, what were those atrocious scoundrels doing who 
 were lying in Avait for their blood ? Some of them were 
 tricked out as Indians ; some were in their own proper dresses; 
 and, moreover, real Utes were there. The unhappy victims 
 could not possibly escape — there was time for the murderers 
 to do their work leisurely. Between chance shots, which were 
 intended to, and did, carry death with them, they amused them- 
 selves with " pitching horse-shoe quoits :" — such heartlessness 
 is almost beyond conception. 
 
 In terrible need of water, they thought that even the Indians, 
 who they supposed were their assailants, might possibly respect 
 a token of truce ; so they dressed two little girls in white and 
 sent them down to the well. But the fiends — the Mormon 
 militia — shot them down. In the day of doom, the blood of 
 those babes will testify more heavily against Major John D. 
 Lee, and Isaac C. Haight, and Colonel Dame, and George A. 
 Smith, and the other wretch who plotted and contrived that 
 fearful iniquity, than any of the base and cowardly crimes 
 which have for years and yeai's blackened their contemptible 
 and miserable souls. 
 
 They could not possibly advance. Their corn would not 
 last long. They were famishing for water. How long they 
 could hold out was evidently only a matter of time. Had the 
 train consisted only of men, they might certainly, if with loss, 
 have cut their way through their besiegers and escaped ; but 
 with wives and children, and others bound to them by the ten- 
 derest ties, such a thing was impossible. They looked and 
 waited. Savage Indians they supposed were their only ene- 
 mies. Coldly, strangely as they had been treated at the 
 Mormon settlements, they never for a moment supposed that 
 
The Mountain Meadoivs Massacre. 253 
 
 •white men could be in league against them or could meditate 
 their destruction. 
 
 Up in the meadows — in the distance — there was a white 
 dusty cloud as if of some person or persons approaching :— 
 the hearts of the emigrants leaped for joy. Was help coming 
 at last ? It was evident that a waggon was coming near, and 
 the waggon was filled with armed men ; — here was hope. After 
 all the misery of tliat waitful watching, they were overjoyed, 
 and shouted aloud with gladness, and sprang with open arms to 
 welcome their visitors. Little did they suppose that the fiends 
 who then came down, with pale faces and the manners of 
 white men, were the same as those who, painted and decked 
 out like Indians, had heen leaguered about their camp with 
 murderous intentions for so many days. 
 
 The waggon came near, and was found to be filled with 
 armed men. Surely now, the unhappy emigrants thought, 
 substantial help had come — the authorities of Utah in the 
 neighbourhood, whether Gentile or Mormon, had come out 
 in the cause of civilization and humanity, and succour was at 
 hand. 
 
 A white flag was waved from the waggon as an emblem of 
 peace, and in order that the emigrants might know that it was 
 white men and not the red demons of the hills who approached. 
 They did not, indeed, know that these themselves were the 
 monsters who had wronged them all this time, and who were 
 even now compassing their death. 
 
 Inside that waggon was President Haight, the infamous 
 Mormon Bishop John D. Lee, and other authorities of the 
 Church in Southern Utah. They professed to the emigrants 
 that they came upon the friendly errand of standing between 
 them and the Indians. They said that the Indians had taken 
 offence at something that the emigrants had done, that they 
 were thirsting for their blood, but that they, the Mormon 
 officials, were on good terms with them and had influence, 
 and would use their good offices in the cause of mercy 
 and of peace. After some discussion they left with the pro- 
 fessed view of conciliating the Indians. Then they returned 
 and said that the Indians had agreed that, if the emigrants 
 marched back to Salt Lake City, their lives should be spared ; 
 but that they must leave everything behind them in their 
 camp, even including the common weapons of defence which 
 every Western man carries about his person. The Mormon 
 officials then solemnly undertook to bring an armed force and 
 to guard the emigrants safely back again to the Settlements, 
 
254 An Englishwoman in Utah.. 
 
 The emigrants were not cowards, and would doubtless have 
 preferred to cut their way through to the south, but they could 
 not leave their wives and little ones, and any terms, however 
 disadvantageous, were better than leaving those they loved to 
 the tender mercy of those wretches. 
 
 This agreement being made, the Mormon officials retired, 
 and after a short time again returned with thirty or forty 
 armed men. Then the emigrants were marched out — the 
 women and children in the front, and the men following, while 
 the Mormon guard followed in the rear. When they had 
 marched in this way about a mile, and had arrived at the place 
 where the Indians were hid iu the bushes on each side of the 
 road, the signal was given for the slaughter. So taken by sur- 
 prise were the emigrants, and so implicitly had they confided 
 in these murderers, that they offered no resistance. The Mor- 
 mon Militia, their guard, immediately opened fire upon them 
 from the real*, while the Indians, and Mormons disguised as 
 Indians, who were hidden among the bushes, rushed out upon 
 them, shooting them down with guns and bows and arrows, 
 and cutting some of the men's throats with knives. The 
 women and children, shrieking with mortal terror, scattered and 
 fled, some trying to hide in the bushes. Two young girls 
 actually did escape for about a quarter of a mile, when they 
 were overtaken and butchered under circumstances of the 
 greatest brutality. The son of John D. Lee endeavoured to 
 protect one poor girl who clung to him for help ; but his 
 father, tearing her from him by violence, blew out her brains. 
 Another unhappy girl is said to have kneeled to this same 
 monster Lee, entreating him to spare her life. He dragged 
 her into the bushes, stripped her naked, and cut her throat 
 from ear to ear, after she 'had suffered worse at his hands than 
 death itself. About half an hour was probably occupied in 
 the butchery, and every soul of that company was cut off, 
 excepting only a few little children who were supposed to be 
 too young to understand or remember what had taken place. 
 The unfortunate victims were stripped, without reference 
 to age or sex, and then left to rot upon the field. There they 
 remained until torn and dismembered by the wolves, when it 
 was then thought prudent to conceal such as lay nearest to 
 the road. An eye-witness subsequently visiting the spot 
 said : — 
 
 " The scene of the massacre, even at this late day, was horri- 
 ble to look upon. Women's hair in detached locks and in 
 masses hung to the sage bushes and was strewn over the 
 
The Mountain Meadows Massacre. 25$ 
 
 ground in many places. Parts of little children's dresses and 
 of female costume dangled from the shrubbery, or lay scattered 
 about, and among these, here and there on every hand, for at 
 least a mile in the direction of the road, by two miles east and 
 west, there gleamed, bleached white by the weather, the skulls 
 and other bones of those who had suffered. A glance into the 
 waggon, when all these had been collected, revealed a sight 
 which never can be forgotten." 
 
 The remains were subsequently gathered together by Major 
 Carleton, the United States Commissioner, who erected over 
 them a large cairn of stones, surmounted by a cross of red 
 cedar, with the inscription thereon : " Vengeance is mine : I 
 ivill repay, saith the Lord ;" and on a stone beneath were en- 
 graved the words : — 
 
 " Here 120 men, women, and children were massacred in 
 cold blood, early in September, 1857. They were from 
 Arkansas." 
 
 It is said that this monument was subsequently destroyed 
 by order of Brigham Young, when he visited that part of the 
 territory. 
 
 The little children, while their parents were being butchered, 
 had clung about their murderers' knees, entreating mercy, but 
 none of them finding it save those who were little more than 
 infants. Their fears and cries the night after the murder are 
 said to have been heart-rending. One little babe, just begin- 
 ning to walk, was shot through the arm. Another little girl 
 was shot through the ear, and the clothes of most of them were 
 saturated with their mothers' blood. They were distributed 
 among the people of the settlements, and when finally the 
 Government took them under the protection of the nation, 
 the people among whom these little ones lived actually 
 charged for their boarding. Two of them are said to have 
 uttered some words from which it was presumed that their in- 
 telligence was in advance of their years. They were taken 
 out quietly and buried! This happened some time after the 
 massacre. 
 
 Most of the property of the emigrants was sold by public 
 auction in Cedar City : the Indians got most of the flour and 
 ammunition, and the Mormons the more valuable articles. 
 They jested over it and called it " Spoil taken at the siege of 
 Sevastopol." There is lejjal proof that the clothing stripped 
 from the corpses, blood-stained, riddled by the bullets, and 
 with shreds of flush attached to it, was placed in the cellar of 
 the tithing office, where it lay about three weeks, when it was 
 
256 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 privately sold. The cellar is said to have smelt of it for years. 
 Long after this time, jewellery torn from the mangled bodies of 
 the unfortunate women was publicly worn in Salt Lake City, 
 and every one knew whence it came. A tithing of it all is 
 reported, upon very conclusive evidence, to have been laid at 
 the feet of Brigham Young. 
 
 This is the story, most imperfectly told, for I dare not 
 sketch its foulest details, of the Mountain Meadows Massacre. 
 Brigham Young, who was at the time Governor of the Territory 
 and also Indian Agent, made no report of the matter. Let 
 that fact of itself speak for his innocence or guilt. Would 
 any other governor or agent in another territory have been 
 thus silent ? John D. Lee, and Dame, and Haight, and 
 the other wretches have never been brought to trial or cut off 
 from the Church, although their monstrous crime has never been 
 a secret, nor have any endeavours been made to conceal it. 
 
 This fearful deed was one of the unavoidable results of the 
 teachings of the Mormon leaders during the Reformation. 
 There were crimes then perpetrated in secret which will never 
 be known until the day of doom; and there were horrors which 
 have been known and recorded, but for which no one has been 
 brought to trial or has suffered inconvenience. There are men 
 in Salt Lake City, who walk about unblushingjy in broad day- 
 light, but who are known to be murderers, and whose hands 
 have been again and again dyed with blood under circumstances 
 of the most atrocious cruelty. 
 
 There was one cruel murder, but by no means the worst — 
 which came under my own personal observation, and which I 
 have alluded to elsewhere — the murder of Dr. John King Rob- 
 inson in Salt Lake City, which attracted more than ordinary 
 attention. This gentleman was a physician of good standing, 
 who came out as assistant-surgeon with the United States army, 
 and afterwards began to practise in Salt Lake City. He was 
 known as a man of unimpeachable moral character, and there 
 are to this day hundreds of responsible people who would 
 testify to his fair fame and rectitude; although he had by some 
 means incurred the dislike of many of the Mormon leaders. 
 He formed the idea of taking possession of some warm springs 
 on the north of the city, and proposed to erect there baths, an 
 hospital, &c. A small wooden shanty was erected for the 
 purpose of holding possession, but the city authorities claimed 
 the spring, and, after some very unpleasant proceedings, the 
 matter was referred to the law courts, and Judge Titus decided 
 against the doctor. 
 
The Mountain Meadows Massacre. 257 
 
 After this verdict had been rendered, Dr. Robinson seems 
 to have acted very prudently, aud to have remained in-doors 
 as much as possible daring the succeeding davs. Between 
 eleven aud twelve o'clock on the night of the third day, how- 
 ever, after the family had retired to rest, a man called at the 
 house, and stating that his brother had broken his leg by a 
 fall from a mule and was suffering very much, he, after some 
 earnest persuasion, induced the doctor to accompany him. 
 Anxious as he might be to remain in-doors at such a time, no 
 professional man would refuse to perform au act of mercy. 
 He accordingly went. At a distance of about a couple of 
 hundred steps from the house he was struck over the head 
 with some sharp instrument, and immediately after shot 
 through the brain. His wife, a young girl, to whom he had 
 only been married a very short time, heard the report of the 
 pistol, and witnesses saw meu fleeing from the spot. The 
 police were sent tor. and the body was carried to Independence 
 Hall, and afterwards to the victim's house. The Mayor of 
 the city was not informed of the murder until ten o'clock the 
 next day, aud the chief of police, who was sitting round the 
 tire with his men when news of the murder arrived, went to 
 bed immediately, and did not visit the scene of the outrage for 
 three days. 
 
 The followiug Sunday, Brigham Young, in the Tabernacle, 
 publicly suggested that the doctor had probably been mur- 
 dered by some of the soldiers from Camp Douglas, who were 
 dissatisfied with his treatment when they were under his hands, 
 or else that he had fallen in some gambling transaction — both 
 of which statements, however, Avere known by every one 
 present to be utterly false. ZS'o one was ever prosecuted for 
 this cruel murder. It did not occur during the Reformation, 
 but was the natural result of the teachings of those times. 
 
 I simply mention these facts without any comment of my 
 own. Let the reader form his own conclusion. More of these 
 frightful stories I do not care to relate ; and I should not even 
 have presented these to the notice of the reader had it not 
 been impossible otherwise to give any adequate idea of that 
 terrible M Reformation." The Gentile army came in. The 
 Union Pacific Railroad was opened. Changes and chances 
 altered all that had been, and brought into being that which 
 might be, and that which finally really was. Instead of look- 
 ing to the events of three or four thousand years ago, men 
 began to act up to things which were — to think aud act in the 
 present, not to dream of the past. The day has goue by, but 
 
 S 
 
258 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 not far, when the perpetration openly of such deeds was 
 possible ; but it is still boasted that, when " Deseret " becomes 
 a State, the " Saints" will "show still greater zeal for the 
 Lord !" 
 
 In concluding this too brief sketch of the most tragic 
 episodes in Mormon domestic history, I must warn my readers 
 against the inference that the ghastly facts and details there 
 presented came to my knowledge either immediately or soon 
 after my arrival in Utah. No, it was only after many years' 
 residence there, and by very slow degrees, that they became 
 known to me, and the effect which they produced on my mind 
 was necessarily broken and impaired by the gradual and dis- 
 connected way in which they oozed out, the horrible and 
 bewildering travesty of biblical argument urged in their defence, 
 and by my utter isolation from the outer and higher world, aud 
 communication with the heart and brain ennobling influences 
 of a wholesome and invigorating public opinion. 
 
259 
 
 CHAPTER XXVII. 
 
 WnAT WOMEN SUFFER IN POLYGAMY : — THE STORY OF 
 MARY BURTON. 
 
 One bright summer morning, about six months after our 
 arrival in Salt Lake City, I was sitting in the work-room, 
 busy with my girls, when a light tap was heard at the door, 
 and the next instant a lady entered, and, coming straight up 
 to me, was about to kiss me. 
 
 I started back a step, held out my hand, looked her full 
 in the face, and in a moment Ave were in each other's arms. 
 It was my old friend, Mary Burton ! 
 
 I could with difficulty find words to express my astonish- 
 ment when I recognized her, so greatly was she changed in 
 every respect. From the very first, whenever we met after a 
 long separation, I had noticed a more than ordinary alteration 
 in her appearance. But it must be remembered that at the 
 time of our first re-union she had grown out of childhood into 
 womanhood ; when I met her again in New York, she had 
 passed through the most interesting phase of a woman's life — 
 she had forsaken maidenhood for matrimony ; and now I met 
 her once more after she had endured those horrors on the 
 Plains — of which the reader has already heard — and she 
 had entered into a life of sorrow worse than any she had 
 known before. No wonder, then, that now, as upon pre- 
 vious occasions, I noticed quite a startling change in her appear- 
 ance. Her dress was of the coarsest and plainest kind, but 
 neat, as was everything she touched ; yet not so carefully 
 ai ranged as in the old time in England. She used formerly 
 to have a way of adjusting a dress or a bonnet so that it set 
 her off ten times better than it would a girl who had not 
 naturally the same taste ; but now, although, as I said, her 
 clothes, if coarse, were neat, she evidently had not taken any 
 pains to set herself off to the best advantage ; and in a woman 
 what a story did that simple fact tell ! But it was in her 
 features and manners that the change was most remarkable. 
 
 s 2 
 
260 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 In looking at her face you would have been puzzled to say in 
 what the alteration consisted. Her cheeks were thinner and 
 sadly pale, but that was not the cause of her appearing as she 
 did. Had she been older, I verily believe the anguish she 
 had passed through would have blanched her hair and left upon 
 her brow deep marks of thought and suffering. As it was, 
 however, though no one feature in particular was very greatly 
 altered, the whole expression of her face was that of one whose 
 heart was utterly crushed and broken ; and when her eyes 
 met mine, I could hardly refrain from tears as I saw the mourn- 
 ful look of subdued pain, which told in them the terrific con- 
 flict which her heart had endured. 
 
 I took her to my own room — poor girl, how my heart bled 
 for her ! — and again and again I held her in my arms and 
 tried to comfort her, for she was very weary ; and at last she 
 wept. I was glad to see that passionate flood of tears, for I 
 knew it would relieve her, and in that I was not mistaken. 
 She threw her arms round my neck, and, kissing me repeatedly, 
 sobbed out, " Don't blame me, Sister Stenhouse ; don't blame 
 me very much ; I cannot help it." 
 
 " There, there, Mary," I said ; " be calm and you will soon 
 be better. You must tell me all your troubles, and I will do 
 all I can to help aud comfort you." 
 
 " There is no help, Sister Stenhouse, no comfort for me ; 
 I'm past all that," she answered. 
 
 "Don't say that, Mary," I said ; " I know that you have 
 passed through a terrible amount of suffering, and have had 
 much trouble in every way ; but your husband is still alive, is 
 he not ? — and there may be many years of happiness before 
 
 y° u -" 
 
 "It is the thought of him that makes me so wretched," she 
 said ; " oh ! I could have borne death a thousand times rather 
 than this. I would gladly have seen him die rather than see him 
 changed as he is now. You do not know, Sister Stenhouse, 
 how my whole soul was wrapped up in that man, how I almost 
 worshipped him. When we suffered so much together on the 
 Plains, I felt happy in comparison with what I feel now. I 
 remember that terrible night when I believed he was dying — 
 I remember the anguish that 1 felt ; but, oh ! I knew linn 
 that he loved me and that his heart was all my own. Had I 
 lost him, if I could myself have lived, I should have felt that 
 he had never loved another beside me ; I should have known 
 that we would meet together again in heaven and be happy in 
 each other's love. After all we went through together, I 
 
What Women Suffer in Polygamy. 261 
 
 loved him more and more ; we seemed to live with one life ; 
 we had the same thoughts, and hopes, and pleasures ; I leaned 
 upon him, and I loved him — ah, so fondly ! and, Sister Sten- 
 house, I know he loved me then. We were getting over the 
 effects of our sufferings on the Plains, and I was gaining 
 strength and was looking forward to the time when my child 
 should be born. It was then that they came and taught him 
 that devil's doctrine and led him away from me. Oh dear ! I 
 cannot bear it, Sister Stenhouse, I cannot bear it ; it will drive 
 me mad ! " 
 
 She buried her face in her hands, and sobbed again. 
 
 " Mary, dear," I said, " don't talk like that ; he cannot have 
 ceased to love you, I am sure ; he used to almost worship you, 
 dear." 
 
 " It is because I know that he did once, that drives me 
 crazy. You do not know what I feel, and what 1 have to 
 bear ! " 
 
 I did not utter a word ; my own sorrows were hidden in 
 my own heart. The heart knoweth its bitterness, and a 
 stranger intermeddleth not in the matter. " You have been 
 through the Endowments ? " she asked. " So have I. We 
 went through, Sister Stenhouse, about three months after we 
 came to Utah, and never since then have I known a moment's 
 peace. I do not know what they said to my husband, but, 
 whatever it was, it produced a great effect upon his mind, 
 and changed him altogether ; he has been an altered man from 
 that very time. I have no doubt that they told them that it 
 was his duty to take another wife, and they would say that no 
 promise made to me before our marriage was binding if it 
 comes in opposition to our religion. You know how devoted 
 he is, how firm his faith is. Why, I do believe that he 
 would obey counsel even if it broke his heart, and cost him 
 his life. Did they say nothing to you or your husband, dear ? " 
 
 " Certainly they did, Mary ; we have heard it daily and 
 hourly, and my husband is constantly being counselled about 
 it. I am wretched, Mary, you know I must be ; I feel just as 
 you do, but how can we help ourselves ?" 
 
 " No, we cannot help ourselves, there is no hope," she said ; 
 "but it is a cruel wrong. You know well enough how deter- 
 mined 1 was never to marry a man who would take another 
 wife. When I thought that Elder Shrewsbury might be in- 
 fluenced by his religion, I made him go to the Apostle and get 
 counsel, and then he solemnly vowed to me that he never 
 would enter into polygamy without my consent ; which, of 
 
262 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 course, was the same as saying that he never would do so at 
 all. Until we went through our Endowments, he never even 
 hinted at such a thing. But they spoke to him then ; and 
 one day, after he had been having a long consultation with the 
 Bishop, he came and spoke to me. He was not unkind in the 
 least. In fact he seemed to be as much pained at all mention 
 of the subject as I was. He said that the Bishop had been 
 urging him to live up to his privileges, and had explained to 
 him how great a loss in the celestial world it would be, both 
 to him and to me, if he did not take more wives. He was told 
 that now while he was young was the time, and that I would 
 soon get over any pain that I might suffer. Yes, they actually 
 said so. Fancy tearing out the very affections of one's heart, 
 and blasting every hope and happiness in life, and then 
 saying that I should soon ' get used to it ! ' I tell you, Sister 
 Stenhouse, a true woman never can ' get used ' to this hideous 
 system. If the hearts of some are dead and cold, it is a curse 
 to them and a curse to their husband and children ; and if a 
 wife seems careless or callous, as the case may be, it is because 
 love for her husband has first died out in her heart. She feels 
 no jealousy because she has no love ; but if a woman has but a 
 spark of love for her husband, she will hate with a deadly 
 hatred any other woman whom that husband loves." 
 
 " But what did Elder Shrewsbury say when they told him 
 to enter into polygamy ? " I inquired. 
 
 " At first he told them it was utterly impossible," she replied, 
 and he mentioned his promise to me, and said we were very 
 happy together, and that he wished for nothing more. But 
 they knew his weakness, and that he would do anything for 
 his religion, and they urged him on that point. It was even a 
 sin against me they said, for if he had no more than one wife 
 he could never exalt me in the celestial kingdom ; that I 
 ought to be treated like a child — a very dear, but spoilt child ; 
 and if I refused what was for my own and my husband's 
 benefit and everlasting welfare, he ought to act up to what he 
 knew was right, and leave the consequences with the Lord, 
 who would order all things for the best. My husband told me 
 all this very sadly at first, but I could see that it had an effect 
 upon his mind. They saw it, too, and did not let the subject 
 drop. Every day they spoke to him of it, and at last he gave 
 way — for my sake, he said ! This was the cruellest wrong of 
 all. Then one day he told me very firmly and very coldly, as 
 if he had steeled his heart to do so, that he had made up his 
 mind to take another wife." 
 
What Women S:<fjer in Polygamy. 263 
 
 " What ! " I exclaimed, " after the solemn oath he swore 
 never to do such a thing ? Why, I could not have believed it 
 of Elder Shrewsbury ! " 
 
 " I reminded him of his promise," she said, " but he told me 
 that the Revelation justified him in breaking it ; that it said 
 in the second clause that 'All covenants, contracts, and oaths 
 not sealed by him who is appointed on earth to hold this power 
 in the last days are of no force after the resurrection ;' that 
 for this cause we had been married again for eternity, and that 
 now he was free from his oath. I knelt down before him, and 
 I wept and prayed as if for life itself; I entreated him, if no 
 more, to wait and put off all thoughts of another marriage for 
 a few months, until he had time to consider the matter care- 
 fully. He had already thoroughly thought it over, he said, 
 and could not go back now, for the Bishop had chosen a wife 
 for him, and had arranged everything. He even told me who 
 it was — a young girl named Wilbur, about fourteen years of 
 age — a mere child. 1 prayed him if he would be so wicked as 
 to perjure himself and wrong me so foully, at least not to add 
 to his sin by injuring a poor innocent child. He was very 
 indignant with me for that, said that he was doing the child 
 the greatest good he possibly could by marrying her ; that he 
 was ensuring her salvation as well as mine ; and that he ex- 
 pected to receive the blessing of God." 
 
 " Mary," I said, " this system is a fearful curse." 
 
 " Curse ! " she exclaimed, " curse is a heavenly word to apply 
 to such a system. Why there is nothing in hell so hateful, so 
 vile, so detestable. It is blight and ruin to everything that is 
 fair and good. I never pass a day but I curse with the bitterest 
 hatred the men who devised it. Women can hate bitterly when 
 they choose ; but I hate them more than ever woman hated 
 before." 
 
 " Hush ! hush, dear !" I said ; " you mustn't talk so, Mary ! " 
 
 11 1 mustn't say it perhaps — it's dangerous, I know ; but I 
 may think so. There is not a true-hearted woman in Utah 
 who does not feel as I do this day. ' Do you think that when 
 they have ruined all our hopes for time and for eternity we 
 shall love them still ? Here, but for this wretched system, I 
 should have been a happy wife and mother, and now see what 
 I am — husband, child, all lost — all lost ! " 
 
 " Is the child dead, Mary ? " I asked very gently, for I 
 feared to pain her. 
 
 " Yes, dear," she replied, " in fact, I believe it never lived — 
 the one I was thinking of. I was ill, very ill indeed, after what 
 
264 An EnglisJnvoman in Utah. 
 
 my husband had told me. They thought I should die, and I 
 think he was sorry, for he became very kind and tender tome, 
 but that only made me feel worse. Then my child was born, 
 but I never saw it, for I was unconscious for more than a week 
 after, and then they told me that it was not alive, but my hus- 
 band would never speak tome about it. As I grew better, his 
 cold, stern manner returned, and then at last he married that 
 girl Wilbur, and since then he has married two more, for he is 
 doing very well in business. I think that all his love for me 
 has gone. At first he thought of marrying again because it 
 was a religious principle ; and as it was the time of the Refor- 
 mation he did not dare to refuse ; but now his heart is grown 
 hard and cold. You see a change in me, Sister Stenhouse, but I 
 think you'd see a greater change in him. I know, of course, 
 that I used to look at him with the eyes of love, and of course 
 did not see him as other people did ; but that is not the only 
 change — it isn't in his face alone ; his whole nature is altered. 
 It quite pains me sometimes to see him." 
 
 " Do you feel any happier now — any calmer, Mary ? " 
 " Yes," she said, " yes, and no. I do not love him as I used 
 to ; how could I ? But when I look into my heart I find, if I 
 tell you the truth, that a little love does remain there. If only 
 I could quite cease to love him I think I should be happy ; but 
 when I pet and play with my little girl — for we have had one 
 child since that dreadful time — some of my love for him comes 
 back again, and I sit down and have a good cry. Sometimes 
 that isn't enough to calm me, and I shut the door and walk up 
 and down the room and swear. There ! don't look so horrified, 
 Sister Stenhouse, I cannot help it ; if I did not give way to 
 my feelings now and then I should die outright ; and sometimes 
 I break a few things, but he never knows it, and it does me 
 good. We came into the city yesterday on a visit, and we 
 shall stay for a few days. He brought me, I believe, as a 
 matter of form ; but I found out where you lived, and I came 
 to see you. You never answered my letter, and I did not know 
 whether you had left New York yet. I really am glad to see 
 you, Sister Stenhouse. And is it true that Brother Stenhouse 
 has not taken another wife yet ? " 
 
 "Not yet," I said ; " but, as I told you, he has been spoken 
 to about it, and I cannot tell what he may do. As you say, 
 Mary, the Mormon women have not much to make them 
 happy." 
 
 Mary gave me a great deal of information. In that she was 
 quite herself, as I knew her in by-gone days. Nothing escaped 
 
What Women Suffer in Polygamy. 265 
 
 her observation. She sat down with me and told me all her 
 troubles, and I need hardly say how deeply I sympathized with 
 her. So I tried to comfort her, and spoke about her child, but 
 even respecting that poor little thing she felt no hope. " Why, 
 when it grows up," she said, " it will be as miserable as I am — I 
 can see no prospect of happiness in the future for it." We 
 agreed that the only way whereby we might prevent our chil- 
 dren from experiencing sorrow and misery similar to our own 
 was to teach them from the very first that Polygamy was the 
 natural and proper, as well as the revealed order of marriage ; 
 in fact to " bring them up " in the system. What a miserable 
 resource was this for a mother who loved her children ! 
 
 " One thing, Mary," I said, referring to her own personal 
 experience in Polygamy ; " one thing I do not quite understand. 
 You, of course, had made your husband specially promise, before 
 you married him, that he would never take another wife, and 
 he was therefore bound, as a man, by every moral obligation, 
 not to do so. But other women have not been situated as you 
 were, and they have exacted no promises from their husbands. 
 Yet it always seemed to me that your doing so was quite 
 superfluous, for you must be aware, Mary, that the Revelation 
 says that, before a man can take a second wife, he must have 
 the full consent of the first. The elders in Europe used to 
 make a great deal of that point, as you may remember, for they 
 said that this provision took from the Revelation any harsh- 
 ness or injustice which it might otherwise appear to show. I 
 know many women who submitted on this account, for they 
 argued that, if their permission was necessary, they could 
 always, by refusing, save themselves from any further trouble. 
 Now if that was so, how came your husband to take another 
 wife against your will? I say your husband, because I should 
 have no difficulty in many other cases. I have been repeatedly 
 told that husbands never troubled themselves about the Reve- 
 lation when they wanted another wife, uuless it was to silence 
 the first wife with it, if she rebelled. But I always regarded 
 Elder Shrewsbury as a conscientious man, and I firmly 
 believed ihat he would never willingly give you a moment's 
 pain. When he made that promise to you, he had the Reve- 
 lation before him, and had also the Apostle to go to if he 
 needed the ' Word of the Lord.' He was therefore bound by 
 that promise, notwithstanding anything that the Revelation 
 might say to the contrary : and even had he made no promise, 
 the Revelation was on your side. We are told that every 
 woman must first irive her consent." 
 
266 An EnglisJnvoman in Utah. 
 
 " That is all very true, Sister Stenhouse," she said, " to a 
 certain extent. The theory is as you say, but you have not 
 heard the whole. I know the Revelation pretty nearly by 
 heart, and so I can tell you exactly what it does say. The first 
 wife is said to hold the keys of this power, by which is meant 
 that she can refuse. But then it goes on to say that when her 
 husband has taught her the law of the Priesthood — that is 
 Polygamy — ' she shall believe or she shall be destroyed, saith 
 the Lord your God, for I will destroy her.' You see there is no 
 loophole of escape for the woman. Her husband is to teach 
 her the law, aud she shall believe; and if she does not — and 
 of course people have no power to make themselves believe 
 what they please — she is to be destroyed, aud God will destroy 
 her ! Do you know, Sister Stenhouse, there are stories 
 whispered here of women who did refuse, and who stood in 
 their husbands' way; and it is said that the Priesthood did not 
 wait for the Lord to destroy, but carried out the law them- 
 selves. But we have wandered sadly from your question. 
 You were talking about the first wife giving her consent?" 
 
 " Yes," I said, " and you were about to tell me whether it 
 was really and practically necessary in every instance. You 
 have been here longer, and have seen more, than I have." 
 
 " The wife's consent is by no means necessary, Sister Sten- 
 house. It may be asked sometimes as a mere matter of form, 
 aud, of course, in the Endowment House, when she gives the 
 other wives to her husband, she may be said to give her con- 
 sent to his marrying them. It is nothing but a piece of folly 
 to talk about women having the power to withhold their con- 
 sent, and it is simply an insult and a mockery for their hus- 
 bands to ask it ; they well know before they ask that their 
 wives dare not refuse to give it. But it enables them to boast 
 to the Gentiles that they do not take other wives until their 
 first wife gives her consent. This is what is meant by ' the 
 liberty of the Gospel,' I suppose, about which Brother Brig- 
 ham talks so much. But every one knows perfectly well that 
 this is all a farce. Without President Youug's consent there 
 can be no marriage at all ; but if it is the will of Brigham, the 
 refusal of the first wife, and the parents, and the girl herself 
 do not for a moment signify." 
 
 " But did your husband, Mary, act in this way ?" 
 
 " Well, not quite. He told me that, if I refused, it would 
 make not the slightest difference; aud as I believed him, I, of 
 course, went, and did not make a scene. It would have only 
 made matters worse. Some of the older sisters came round 
 
What Women Suffer in Polygamy. 267 
 
 and talked me over, and explained and insisted, and 'laboured' 
 with me as they called it, until I hardly knew what to think 
 or do; my mind was quite unsettled. Eliza R. Snow is quite 
 great at that sort of work. When my husband took his other 
 two wives, he did not consult me at all, but simply told me 
 that on a certain day I must go with him to the Endowment 
 House. We went, aud he married two sisters on the same 
 day, but it did not do him much good. They are handsome 
 girls, but have very bad tempers, and we often have a very 
 unpleasant time. The second wife, poor child ! suffered most 
 when he married the other two. She did not seem to like 
 me very well at first, which was quite natural; but, when the 
 other two were brought home, she seemed quite to cling to 
 me, and I have, strange to say, taken quite a fancy to her. 
 In all our disputes she always sides with me, and in return I 
 always stand up for her, as a matter of course. I am getting 
 used to this wretched life; I try to stifle my love; and I 
 am sorry to say that sometimes I almost hate every one around 
 me, including my husband. Now and then the old longing 
 for some one to love, for some one to confide in, comes over 
 me. I felt like that this morning when I came here, and that 
 is what made me act so badly." 
 
 " Say nothing of that, Mary," I replied. " I wish you 
 would stay with me while you are in the city.'' 
 
 " No," she said, " we shall be here for a day or two, but I 
 do not think my husband would like me to stay here 
 altogether. He knows that you are aware of his attachment 
 to me once, and his promises in the old times, and very likely 
 he would be a little ashamed to meet you. He'll make 
 business an excuse, and in fact he is busy all the day. So 
 I'll come round alone as much as I can, and we'll have a good 
 talk again." 
 
 I saw her to the door, and then she turned and said, " I'll 
 come again and see you, Sister Stenhouse, before we leave the 
 city." 
 
 Thus saying, she kissed me, laughed with the ghost of her 
 foi'mer merry ways when I first knew her, and said good-bye. 
 I watched her till she was lost to sight, and then I closed the 
 door, saying to myself, with a sigb, "Ah, me ! can this be the 
 Mary that I once knew?" 
 
263 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 CHAPTER XXVIII. 
 
 HOW MARRIAGES ARE MADE IN UTAH — A NEW WIFE FOUND 
 FOR MY HUSBAND. 
 
 Not long after this, I was enabled to visit my Swiss friend, 
 Madame Bailiff. Ever since her husband had called upon me 
 in Salt Lake City, I had watched anxiously for an oppor- 
 tunity of seeing her, fori felt much interested in learning how 
 time had passed with her since we parted in Geneva. 
 
 I found her in a little log-cabin of two rooms, with bare 
 walls, bare floor, and miserably furnished; and in this wretched 
 abode poverty and polygamy had wrecked the life of my poor 
 frieud, whom I had known under such different circum- 
 stances. Here, together with their five children, lived also 
 the second wife, with her two children. It was with diffi- 
 culty that I could recognize in the poor, careworn, broken- 
 spirited, and ill-clad woman who stood before me, the once 
 gay, light-hearted, happy, and elegantly-dressed lady whom I 
 had known in Switzerland. Mormonism had in her case 
 utterly blighted her existence. It seemed to me hardly possible 
 that so great a change should have been wrought in her in 
 such a few years as had ejapsed since last I saw her. What 
 suffering she must have endured, I thought, what mental 
 agony, what physical pain, to write those wrinkled lines of care 
 upon her once handsome face; and, ah! what a paug I felt at 
 the remembrance that I myself had been instrumental in 
 leading her into Mormonism and Polygamy. Self-reproach 
 I did not feel, but sorrow I did. I had thought to lead her 
 into the way of holiness and heavenly peace by winning 
 her to the religion of the Saints, but that which I in my 
 enthusiasm had believed would be the greatest blessing which 
 one poor mortal could communicate to another, had turned 
 to a curse, and, instead of the happy wife and mother which she 
 once had been, she had become a victim to that faith which 
 in its very existence is an insult to womanhood. 
 
 In temper and disposition she was, however, just the same; 
 
Hoiv Marriages are made in Utah. 269 
 
 her affectiouate nature was unchanged. No douht she read 
 in my features the painful surprise which I experienced in 
 witnessing her altered circumstances; but she met me with 
 not a single word of reproach for my being the cause of her 
 leaving her own dear country. I should not have blamed her 
 had she hated me, though she knew, of course, that I had 
 wronged her innocently. 
 
 She told me of the difficulties which they had had to con- 
 tend with after their arrival in Utah, and how they had been 
 compelled to part with almost everything they had, in order to 
 provide bread for their children. When they left London, 
 they took with them several handsome carpets, china, glass, 
 and a large quantity of silver ware, besides bedding and cloth- 
 ing of every description; for they were well-to-do in the world, 
 and had quite enough for themselves, affpr they had liberally 
 assisted the poorer Saints to emigrate. Upon their arrival in 
 Utah, the husband — good man that he was — was willing to 
 come down to the level of his brethren and go to farming 
 among them. A brother who knew him in his own country, 
 and imagined, I suppose, that he could afford to lose, sold him 
 a farm that he himself had become disgusted with, though, of 
 course, he did not say so; and when my inexperienced friend, 
 Monsieur Bailiff, found that nothing could be done with it, 
 he supposed that the land was good enough, but that he him- 
 self was not competent to work it. No one ventured to hint 
 that he had been cheated, as it Avas one of the Church 
 authorities who had sold him the land. After spending upon 
 it all that he possessed, he was finally compelled to abandon 
 it. They were now very much straitened in circumstances, 
 and my poor friend told me that she had frequently been com- 
 pelled — as they were entirely destitute of money — to take a 
 silver spoon or fork to the butcher's market to trade with, and 
 there they drove a hard bargain with her, and she obtained 
 next to nothing in exchange for her silver. Her crystal and 
 plate now grace the table of a certain rich mail in Utah. 
 Every article they possessed went in this way at a most 
 ruinous sacrifice, until nothing remained ; and then the hus- 
 band was forced to engage in manual labour, while the poor 
 wife employed herself in whatever feminine work she could 
 obtain; they receiving in return just what people chose to pay 
 them. In the midst of their troubles the husband was " coun- 
 selled " to take another wife. 
 
 "But why did he not refuse to do so?" I asked. 
 
 "If you had been here during thp Reformation, you would 
 
270 Aii Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 not ask rne such a question as that. Sister Stenhouse, you 
 ought to thank God that you were not here then. There were 
 shocking things done at that time, and the men were all crazy 
 about marrying. They marrried every woman who was single, 
 and even little girls who had scarcely reached their teens; it 
 was a time of terror, and no one dared to rebel." 
 
 She then told me that her husband had been, as one might 
 say, compelled to marry a young Swiss girl whom they had 
 brought out to Utah with them as a domestic. This girl had 
 been a very faithful servant, and Madame Bailiff had become 
 very much attached to her. During the Reformation the 
 Bishop visited them, and " counselled " Monsieur Bailiff to take 
 a second wife. The girl was also " counselled " to marry, and 
 when she said that she did not know of any one to whom she 
 would like to be married, the Bishop told her that he himself 
 would find a suitable man. 
 
 " My husband told me what the Bishop had urged him to 
 do," said Madame Bailiff, "and we talked the matter over in 
 a practical way. We knew that the girl would be forced to 
 marry somebody, and that then she would have to leave us, 
 which would put us to the very greatest inconvenience, for, 
 situated as we were, we could hardly get on without her 
 assistance. At the same time, he also would be compelled to 
 obey counsel, and we came to the conclusion that as there was 
 no way of evading the difficulty altogether, it would be better 
 for him to marry the girl than to bring a stranger into the 
 house. So he asked her, and she accepted him, and they were 
 married. She is a good girl, and tries to do her best, but it is a 
 great trial to me, and one which I trust you may never be 
 called upon to bear. My husband is as kind and gentle a man 
 as ever lived, and he has 'done all he could to keep me from 
 feeling unhappy; had it been otherwise, I dare not think what 
 I should have done — I believe I should have gone mad or 
 died. In our household arrangements, of course it made veiy 
 little difference, but it was inexpressibly painful to me, and 
 though I suppose I shall remaiu a Mormon till the day of 
 my death, I have learned to hate Mormonistn." 
 
 Poor Madame Bailiff! Hers was a life of privation and 
 sorrow of late years. Happy as woman could be in her 
 youthful days, she little dreamed what Providence had in 
 store for her ere her earthly course had run. With a faith- 
 ful and devoted husband; with a charming little family grow- 
 ing up around her; with all that could make life fair and 
 beautiful. But that accursed thing — Polygamy — came and 
 
Hozv Marriages arc made in Utah. 271 
 
 poisoned all her happiness, and blighted all her hopes; and 
 when, but a few months ago, worn out and weary of life, 
 she left behind her all her sorrows and all her misery, I could 
 not weep that she had gone to a better land beyond the veil, 
 but I thanked God that at last, poor soul, her days of trial 
 were for ever over, and she had entered into her eternal rest. 
 
 One day Brother Brighani sent me word that he wished to 
 see me. 
 
 I went to him, and he told me that he wanted me to become 
 acquainted with a certain young girl in whom he took a great 
 interest. She was the daughter, by his first wife, of Jedediah 
 M. Grant, the famous Apostle of the " Reformation " — her 
 name was Carrie, and she was now an orphan. Brother Brig- 
 hani wished me to have her with me every day, for she was 
 not " feeling well," he said, and he thought I might do her 
 some good. This " not feeling well " I afterwards discovered 
 meant that she was almost ready to apostatize. If she desired 
 it, I was to teach her my business ; not that she needed to 
 follow any profession, for, as President Young explained, she 
 had a good home ; but her mind needed occupation, and he 
 did not care how she employed her time, so long as she was 
 with me every day and could be made to " feel well." 
 
 I listened to all that Brother Brigham said, and accepted 
 the trust in good faith — not only to please him, but because 
 the girl was an orphan, and my heart went out towards her 
 even before I had seen her. 
 
 Before I returned home I called at the house where Carrie 
 was stopping, and arranged that she should come every day to 
 see me, under pretext of learning the business. Kow it so 
 happened that we each conceived a liking to the other the 
 very first moment we met ; we made friends together at once, 
 and she wanted to begin coming to me the very next day. 
 She was a sweet-looking and intelligent girl, fair, but 
 fragile, and with a peculiar expression of melancholy sadness 
 dwelling upon her features, which gave her a painfully interest- 
 ing appearance. I never before, or since, met with a young 
 girl who habitually looked so unhappy; and I thought that 
 perhaps physical weakness might be the cause, for it was evi- 
 dent that in constitution she was extremely delicate — 1 almost 
 feared consumptive. 
 
 The first day we spent together she told me that her parents 
 had been among the pioneers to Utah, that her only sister had 
 died on the Plains, and that she had lost her mother soon 
 after they had arrived in Salt Lake City. As the only re- 
 
272 An Englishivoman in Utah. 
 
 maining child of her mother, she had been a great pet with 
 her father, but he too had died about four years previous to 
 the time of which I speak, and she had never been happy 
 since. " I often long to die," she said, " that I might join my 
 mother and father ; no one loves me here, and I have nothing 
 to live for." Her father had married four wives after her 
 mother's death, and they were all very kind to her, but she did 
 not feel that she had a home. She told me that about six 
 months before she came to me she had started to go east, to 
 her mother's friends, for they had frequently written to her, 
 urging her to come to them, and that when she was about 
 two weeks' journey from Salt Lake City, Brigham Young 
 sent after her, and she was brought back. " But," she said, 
 " I shall never be happy here, Sister Stenhouse, I know I 
 never shall ; and why should they not let me leave and go to 
 my relatives ? " 
 
 I knew very well that it was of no use for her to try to get 
 away, for we had no railroad then, and escape was almost im- 
 possible. I therefore tried to make her more cheerful, and 
 told her that a girl as young as she was — for she was scarcely 
 seventeen — had much to live for. But her uuhappiness had 
 become almost a settled melancholy, and she seemed to be 
 interested in nothing. Besides which, the task I attempted 
 was all the more difficult as I was not at all happy 
 myself. 
 
 One day the conversation happened to turn upon Polygamy, 
 and in a moment I saw that all her trouble arose from that 
 miserable doctrine, and from that alone. We had not ex- 
 changed many words upon the subject when she exclaimed : 
 " Oh, how I hate Polygamy ! God forgive me ; but I cannot 
 help it, Sister Stenhouse'! I do hate it; and yet I believe 
 that it is true." Poor child ! I understood her too well, for 
 her position was exactly mine. From that moment we were 
 fast friends. 
 
 Here was the child of one of the greatest fanatics that 
 Mormonism has ever known, one of the wildest advocates of 
 the " Celestial Order of Marriage," perfectly loathing the 
 system ; and yet, poor girl, believing it firmly, and believing 
 too that she could not obtain salvation unless she entered into 
 it. How I pitied and loved that poor girl ! — and yet what 
 strength or consolation could I offer her, being myself as 
 painfully situated as she was ? Our mutual sorrow united us 
 still more painfully in loving companionship. I had rarely 
 met among the Mormon girls with one so thoughtful and 
 
How Marriages arc made in Utah. 273 
 
 observing, so kind and gentle. She had not been with me 
 many weeks before she had entwined herself so completely 
 round my heart that I was lonely when she stayed away, and 
 I tried to keep her with me altogether. I tried in every 
 way to make her feel at home when at my house ; and 
 noticing her delicate health, and thinking that she did not 
 always get those little things to tempt her appetite which an 
 invalid should always have, I found out many trifles which 
 I believed would please her, and always tried to get them 
 for her. She seemed to think much of these little atten- 
 tions, and I have always believed that she loved me very 
 dearly. 
 
 Some of my neighbours began to whisper pretty plainly to 
 me that Brother Brigham had an object in view in asking me 
 to interest myself in Carrie's welfare. They told me they 
 believed that my husband, if he had not already been coun- 
 selled to marry her, would be before long. Knowing, as I 
 did, Carrie's aversion to Polygamy, these suggestions did not 
 trouble me very much ; but I begged my informants not to 
 speak of the matter in my young friend's presence, as it would 
 only disturb and annoy her. I was the more anxious on 
 this point as her health had by that time began very percep- 
 tibly to improve, and sometimes she seemed to be almost joyous 
 and light-hearted. Sometimes she would sew, and some- 
 times she read or played with the children, of whom she was 
 very fond, and I always allowed her to do just as she 
 pleased. 
 
 One day my talkative friend called to see me. She had 
 not been near the house for several months, and I think, at 
 her last visit, she must have taken offence at my telling her 
 that I thought she had not acted wisely in procuring wives 
 for her husband. She had, however, now an object in coming 
 which I soon discovered. 
 
 She was shown in, and as soon as she was fairly seated, I 
 observed that, while talking to me, she was inquisitively scru- 
 tinizing Carrie's face, as if trying to discover her character or 
 read her thoughts. Suddenly — she did every thing impulsively 
 — she interrupted the conversation, saying : '.' Sister Stenhouse, 
 I want to speak to you privately." I asked her to come with 
 me into the next room, and she did so, but before I had time 
 to close the door, she exclaimed : "Allow me to congratulate 
 you ; you have done very wisely ! " 
 
 " Congratulate me upon what ? " I asked. 
 
 " Upon the excellent choice you have made for your hus- 
 
 T 
 
274 du EnglisJizvoman in Utah. 
 
 band," she replied ; " I knew very well you would ponder over 
 rny good counsel and seek another wife for Brother Stenhouse, 
 and I am certain that my example and my faith and prayers 
 have helped you, for I have asked the Lord to strengthen you 
 to do just what you are doing." 
 
 " Doing ! " I said, " what am I doing ? I really don't 
 understand what you mean." 
 
 " Oh, nonsense ! " she exclaimed; " but I understand, if you 
 don't. You wish to keep it a secret, I suppose, until the 
 happy event takes place. And you are quite right in that, for 
 there are so many busybodies here, and they do interfere so 
 much in their neighbours' affairs that it isn't pleasant. But of 
 course you needn't fear me — / shouldn't think of breathing 
 one single word of the matter, unless you wished me to do 
 so." 
 
 " I am really at a loss to know what you mean," I said, very 
 much annoyed with her. 
 
 "Oh," she said, " if you think that I am interfering, I will 
 not say another word, for I should very much dislike to be con- 
 sidered meddlesome. But you know, my dear Sister Sten- 
 house, the great interest I have always felt concerning you ; 
 from the very first when I knew you in England I always 
 prophesied great things of you, but I was a little afraid when 
 I saw your opposition to Polygamy, and I cannot tell how 
 happy I felt when I heard yesterday that you had found a 
 wife — and a good wife too — for your husband." 
 
 " I find a wife for my husband !" I exclaimed. " That I never 
 would. I dislike Polygamy far too much to do so. No ; 
 if he ever wants another wife, I shall never help him to 
 find her ; he'll have to get her himself." 
 
 " Who is that young girj, then, that I saw just now ? " she 
 asked ; " is that not Miss Grant ? " 
 
 I replied that it was. 
 
 " Well," said she, " I was told that you had asked her to 
 marry your husband." 
 
 " There is no truth in the report," I said ; " I am sure that 
 she has never thought of such a thing, nor have I, nor has my 
 husband ; and I would not have such a thing spoken of for the 
 world." 
 
 " Well," she replied, " I am really quite disappointed. You 
 have a splendid opportunity, and I do believe that that was 
 what Brother Brigham meant when he asked me to see after 
 her. In fact, I was told that it was his only motive, all 
 along." 
 
Hozu Marriages are made in Utah. 275 
 
 " Then Brother Brigham will soon find out his mistake, 
 I can assure you," I answered, " for I never will ask her ; 
 and, moreover, if I thought for a moment that she would 
 ever wish such a thiDg, much as I love her, I should then 
 hate her." 
 
 " My dear Sister," she said, " how do you expect ever to 
 get salvation ? I suppose you think that is none of my busi- 
 ness, and that I should leave you in the hands of the Lord. 
 But before I go, let me ask you to see Eliza Suow as soon as 
 you have an opportunity. She will build you up, and do 
 you a world of good." 
 
 I told her I needed no " building up ; " all I wanted was 
 that my husband and myself should be left alone, and that 
 people should not meddle with our affairs. 
 
 After she had gone, her conversation troubled me a great 
 deal. What did it all mean ? Had the busybodies been try- 
 ing to bring about an alliance between my husband and 
 Carrie ? Had Brigham Young been working all along to this 
 end ? However it might be, I resolved that, at least, Carrie 
 should know nothing of the matter from me. 
 
 One morning, the Apostle Heber C. Kimball called in his 
 carriage. It was very early, being only about seven o'clock. 
 Mr. Stenhouse went out to see him, but in his blunt way he 
 said : " I do not want you, I want Sister Fanny to take a ride 
 with me." My husband brought him into the house and he 
 told me he wanted to have a talk with me. "You must not 
 fix up," he said, " or I won't ride with you. Come along in 
 your wrapper and slippers, and just put on your sun-bonnet." 
 
 I told him that I never went out in a sun-bonnet. " Well, 
 then, do it for the first time," he said. 
 
 I suggested that I had had no breakfast, and asked him if 
 he would wait and have some with us. 
 
 "No," said he; "I have plenty of wives around this town, 
 and we will find breakfast somewhere." Sol started just as 
 I was, and he told the driver— who, I think, was one of his 
 own sons — to call round and see " the folks " — meaning his 
 wives. Then, turning to me, he said: "You never looked 
 prettier, Sister Fanny; you ought always to wear a sun-bonnet, 
 but you like dress a great deal too much — you will keep 
 your husband poor, and then how will he be able to carry 
 out the commands of God ? Did you ever think of that ? 
 Then, again, you dress your children too much ; it must take 
 pretty well all your time to make their clothes ; and see what 
 it must cost. Now, I'm going to give you some good advice. 
 
 T 2 
 
276 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 Do what my folks do. I tell them to make a linsey dress for 
 each of the children ill the spring, and let them wear it all 
 the summer; and then, when the winter comes, it will be so 
 full of grease and dirt that it will be sure to keep them warm. 
 Now I'm sure you won't consent to do that with your children, 
 so it is good counsel thrown away." I knew well enough 
 that Brother Heber was only jesting, for apparently he pro- 
 vided very well for his family, although he allowed them no 
 luxuries. He went on to say : " But that isn't what I wanted 
 to speak to you about ; I had something else to say. When 
 is your husband going to marry Miss Grant ? That girl has 
 got to be looked after by some good man and woman, and I 
 think that you and Brother Stenhouse will do first-class. What 
 do you think ? " 
 
 " I should not like my husband to marry her," I said. 
 
 " And why not, Sister Fanny ? " he asked. 
 
 " Because I myself love her," I replied. 
 
 " Why, that is the very reason why he ought to do it the 
 sooner," he said, " and you would continue to love her, and 
 love her all the better too, when she belonged to your hus- 
 band, and when you saw how much he loved her." He 
 laughed outright as he said this, and told me not to look so 
 solemn. " Why," he said, " it's the finest thing in the world 
 to develope love in the women ; a man never gets so much at- 
 tention in his life as when he has got several wives all trying 
 their best to please him." 
 
 "That may be," I said; "but who is to pay attention to 
 their wives ? " 
 
 " Things have been all upside down in the world, Sister 
 Fanny," he answered, " and the Priesthood is going to set 
 them all in order. It is 'the women's place to minister to 
 the men, and the men, in return, will save them in the King- 
 dom, if they are good girls." 
 
 By this time we had driven round several of his fields in the 
 lower part of the city, and at last we stopped at the house of 
 one of his wives. She very kindly prepared breakfast for us; 
 after which we called to see two or three other wives, and 
 then returned home. On the way back he tried to get me to 
 promise that I would persuade my husband to marry Miss 
 Grant. This I positively refused to do, although it would 
 have been dangerous for me not to acquiesce had it not been 
 that Brother Heber was attached to me and allowed me to say 
 what I liked against Polygamy, laughing at me and telling me 
 to " hold on " when I became too much in earnest. 
 
Hozu Marriages are made in Utah. 277 
 
 This constant reference to Carrie began to trouble me 
 seriously, although, so far, I had not yet spoken about it 
 either to her or to my husband, and did not intend to do it. 
 I felt sure that Carrie, poor child, was perfectly innocent; she 
 had refused to go to several parties with us, and had other- 
 wise declined to accompany my husband, and I believed that 
 I had no cause for uneasiness. 
 
 Thus time passed, and more than a year flew by, and Carrie 
 still remained with me. Lately I thought that her manner 
 was changed, and that she was a good deal altered. I noticed 
 that she was shy when in the presence of my husband, and 
 that she rather avoided him. For a long time I had not sus- 
 pected that anything was wrong between them, and the know- 
 ledge that Carrie was troubled, and that my husband was the 
 cause, came upon me suddenly. She began by staying away 
 for several days at a time, and at last she told me that she was 
 going away for a while to visit a friend in the country. She 
 looked so unhappy that I felt sure that all was not right, and 
 begged her not to go, but she would not listen to me. It was 
 necessary for her to go, she stated, and would say no more. 
 She bade me good-bye, and for two months I heard nothing 
 of her, supposing that she was in the country, and then I was 
 surprised to learn that she was visiting with a friend in another 
 part of the city, and that she was very ill indeed. I imme- 
 diately went to call upon her, and she was very much pleased 
 to see me, and then I discovered that she had not been in the 
 country at all, but had been there in the city with her friend. 
 I could not at the time understand her conduct; but as she, in 
 common with most other delicate people, was rather capricious, 
 I allowed it to pass without any comment. She told me that 
 as soon as she felt a little better she would come and see me; 
 but she never came, aud I was somewhat offended at her sup- 
 posed neglect, and thought that before I visited her again I 
 would wait and see whether she first came up to pur house. 
 
 All this time, a friend of Carrie's was in the habit of looking 
 in very frequently upon some trifling errand or other, and I 
 noticed that she always waited for the return of my husband, 
 and then made some excuse to go out with him, and they had 
 long conversations together. There was some mystery, I 
 clearly perceived, and as a wife and a woman I determined 
 that it was my duty to find out what that mystery was. 
 
278 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 CHAPTER XXIX. 
 
 TAKING A SECOND WIFE: — THE EXPERIENCE OF THE FIRST. 
 
 I did not presume to ask my husband what it was that he had 
 to talk about with Carrie's friend, but I instinctively felt what 
 it might be, and I was so much troubled in mind that I thought 
 I would never go to see her again. 
 
 By that time I had learned, as every Mormon wife does 
 learn, never to ask questions. The wife of a Saint never 
 dares to ask her busband whither he is going or when he will 
 return. She is not expected to know or care what business 
 her husband may have on baud when he leaves home in the 
 evening, after making a most elaborate toilet, with frequent 
 admiration of himself in the mirror. If the poor wife feels 
 that she must say something, to give vent to her overwrought 
 feelings, she simply asks in a conscious, guilty way, when he 
 will be home again ; wishing too often in her secret heart 
 that he might say — Never. Her duty is to be silent and 
 unobservant ; and though some poor women have, when their 
 outraged feelings were overcharged, inadvertently betrayed 
 curiosity respecting the movements of the absent ones, they 
 have soon been sternly taught their duty, and those loving 
 husbands have given them good cause to repent of their in- 
 quisitiveness. 
 
 And who can blame these disconsolate, lonely woman, if 
 thus they feel ? Their religion alone is to blame. It has 
 been the destruction of that sweet confidence which should 
 exist between husband and wife, and it has divided hearts and 
 interests which should inseparably have been for ever one. 
 This, slowly but no less painfully, I was beginning to under- 
 stand. However earnestly I might try to combat the idea, 
 my life was wretched with the one continual fear of what I 
 might see or hear of my husband. I tried to drive away such 
 thoughts, and I called to mind all the acts of kindness and 
 devotion which he had shown to those whose love my heart held 
 dear. Sometimes, arguing with myself, I said : "No, my husband 
 
Taking a Second Wife. 279 
 
 will not deceive me ; no matter what other men may do or be 
 with their wives, my husband will be frank and true with me." 
 
 So I thought then ; but I was destined to realize in my own 
 experience how utterly impossible it is for any man, no matter 
 how honest and truthful he may naturally be, to practise 
 Polygamy without becoming a hypocrite ; and the more he 
 loves his wife the greater hypocrite he will become, trying to 
 deceive her with the foolish notion that half his cruelty is 
 done in attempting to " spare her feelings." 
 
 My husband thought that he was acting kindly to me when 
 he said nothing of all that transpired between him and Carrie ; 
 but when I saw the visit of Carrie's lady-friend so frequently 
 repeated, I began to suspect the truth, and was much troubled. 
 I was, however, too proud to question him on the subject, at 
 the risk of getting an evasive answer, and it was evident that 
 the two persons most intimately interested in the matter 
 intended that I should be kept in the dark. I saw through 
 all this, and it did not tend either to restore my peace of mind 
 or to make me more pleasant in my intercourse with Carrie 
 or my husband. In their conduct I could see nothing but 
 deception, however good their intention might be, and I felt 
 that they were treating me as a child. The thought was very 
 painful to me, and it was only with a great effort that I sup- 
 pressed it. 
 
 These painful feelings, of course, had a marked effect upon 
 my daily life. I grew weary, and my health failed, I became 
 thin, and my features were marked with care and anxiety. 
 When people came to see me, I said little to them, and then- 
 very presence I felt irksome. Mechanically I went through 
 the daily routine of duty, but my heart was in nothing that I 
 did. I dared not even trust myself to speak to any one, for 
 fear of becoming the subject of conversation and attracting 
 the attention of the authorities, which was not at all desirable, 
 for the position of a "rebellious woman" in those days was 
 anything but pleasant. I stood alone. Upon my husband I 
 looked with suspicion ; my children were too young to under- 
 stand me ; Carrie — whom I had taken to my heart, to whom I 
 had confided my sorrows, whose own welfare had been so dear 
 to me — had, as I thought, turned against me, like an adder, 
 and there was no one in whom I could trust. It seemed to 
 me too cruel for Carrie to treat me so, and yet I could not 
 doubt that she was acting unfaithfully towards me. 
 
 Surrounded by my children, living under the same roof 
 with my husband, my heart was, nevertheless, filled with a 
 
28o An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 sense of utter loneliness and desolation. There was no one 
 in whom I could confide, to whom I might tell my sorrows, 
 and from whose counsel or strength I might derive comfort. 
 I dared not even go and lay my griefs before God, for I had 
 been led to believe that all my suffering was caused by an 
 arbitrary decree which He willed to be enforced. How false 
 a notion of that loving heavenly Father whose tender care is 
 so manifestly shown in His gentle dealings with the weakest of 
 His creatures ! 
 
 It was now about six months since Carrie left my house, 
 and I was under the impression that all that time certain 
 well-intentioned sisters had been doing all they could to bring 
 about a marriage between her and my husband. Pier health, 
 however, was so bad that sometimes for weeks together she 
 did not leave her room. At the time, of course, I knew 
 nothing of this, but I afterwards heard of it. When I called 
 upon her, which I did when I found that she was too ill to 
 come to see me, I thought she was greatly changed in her 
 manner ; but when I thought of her lonely position, my heart 
 warmed towards her, and I forgot all my suspicions. Cer- 
 tainly, I wanted to ask her one plain question relative to my 
 husband, but my pride would not allow me to speak to her on 
 that subject unless she first mentioned it to me. One day I 
 thought that she was about to make a confession. Talking 
 indifferently of ordinary matters, she suddenly said, " I am 
 surprised you ever wished to see me ; " but when I asked her 
 why, expecting that she would now explain what had so long 
 troubled me, she answered evasively, and nothing more was said. 
 
 With Carrie's absence from our house the rumours about 
 her which had troubled -me so much somewhat subsided. 
 Nothing could silence the secret apprehension which continually 
 held my soul in dread ; but the fear of my young friend's influ- 
 ence once removed, I was comparatively at peace. It was, 
 however, but the lull before the storm. I soon learned that 
 in losing Carrie I did not lose Polygamy, and from about that 
 time I can date my husband's desire to sustain his brethren in 
 the performance of their duty, and his wish to act as they did, 
 especially in reference to the " Celestial Order of Heaven." 
 Just at that time the " Morrill Bill " for the suppression of 
 Polygamy was presented to Congress, and all true Mormons 
 were made to feel that it was their duty to stand by their 
 leader ; and though, in itself, they might see nothing desirable 
 in Polygamy, yet, if they had not already multiplied wives, it 
 was their duty to do so without any delay. 
 
Taking a Second Wife. 2S1 
 
 Ever watchful as I was, I noticed little changes in my 
 husband, which under ordinary circumstances would have 
 escaped my observation. By this time one all-absorbing idea 
 had taken possession of my mind, and my husband's thoughts, 
 I believe, were turned in the same direction — only our wishes 
 did not exactly coincide. Polygamy was the thought com- 
 mon to both, but upon its desirability we entertained dis- 
 similar views. 
 
 A man with Polygamy upon his mind was then a creature 
 which I did not understand, and which I had not fully studied. 
 Some years later, when I had a little more experience in Mor- 
 monism, I discovered several never-failing signs by which 
 one might know when a man wished to take another wife. 
 He would suddenly "awaken to a seuse of his duties ;" he would 
 have serious misgivings as to whether the Lord would pardon 
 his neglect in not living up to his privileges ; he would become 
 very religious, and would attend to his meetings — his " testi- 
 mony meetings," singing meetings, and all sorts of other 
 " meetings," which seemed just then to be very numerous, 
 and in various other ways he would show his anxiety to live 
 up to his religion. He would thus be frequently absent from 
 home, which, of course, " he deeply regrets," as " he loves so 
 dearly the society of his wife and children." The wife, per- 
 haps, poor simple soul ! thinks that he is becoming unusually 
 loving and affectionate, for he used not, at one time, to express 
 much sorrow at leaving her alone for a few hours ; and she 
 thinks how happy she ought to feel that such a change has 
 come over her husband, although, to be sure, he was always 
 as good as most of the other Mormon men. 
 
 My husband was a good and consistent Mormon, and very 
 much like the rest of his brethren in these matters ; and the 
 brethren, knowing themselves how he felt, sympathized with 
 him, and urged him on, and, by every means in their power, 
 aided him in his noble attempts to carry out " the commands 
 of God ! " 
 
 One evening, when he came home, he seemed pre-occupied, 
 as if some matter of importance were troubling his mind. 
 This set me thinking, too. I saw that he wanted to say some- 
 thing to me, and I waited patiently. " I am going to the ball," 
 he presently remarked, "and lam going alone, for Brother 
 Brigham wishes me to meet him there." I knew at once 
 what was passing in his mind, and dared not question him. 
 He went and saw Brigham. What passed between them I 
 do not know ; but, when my husband returned, he intimated 
 
282 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 to me that it had been arranged that he should take another 
 wife. 
 
 The idea that some day another wife would be added to our 
 household was ever present in my mind, but, somehow, when 
 the fact was placed before me in so many unmistakable 
 words, my heart sank within me, and I shrank from the 
 realization that our home was at last to be desecrated by the 
 foul presence of Polygamy. 
 
 Almost fainting, now that the truth came home to me in all 
 its startling reality, I asked my husband when he proposed to 
 take his second Avife. 
 
 " Immediately," he replied; " that is to say, as soon as I 
 can." 
 
 We were silent for some time. My mind was troubled. 
 Had I been able to consider the whole affair as an outrage 
 upon humanity in general, and an insult to my sex in particu- 
 lar, I should have replied with scorn and defiance. Had I 
 implicitly believed in the divinity of the Revelation, I should 
 have bowed my head in meek submission. But I did neither 
 of these. The feelings of my heart naturally led me to hate 
 with a most perfect hatred the very mention of the word 
 Polygamy, while at the same time I still believed, or tried to 
 make myself believe, that the Revelation was from God, and 
 must therefore be obeyed. Such was the strange and contra- 
 dictory position in which I was placed. 
 
 " Are you not satisfied that it is right for me to take another 
 wife ?" my husband asked. 
 
 " I have never yet really doubted that the Revelation was 
 from God," I replied, "for I cannot believe that any man would 
 be so blasphemous and wicked as to set forth such a revela- 
 tion in God's name, unless he received it as he said he did. If 
 it is from God, of course you are right to obey it ; but if I 
 were to consult my own feelings I would never consent to live 
 in Polygamy. I would rather risk salvation, and tell the Lord 
 that He had placed upon me a burden heavier that I was able 
 to bear, and that I regarded Him as a hard taskmaster. But 
 when the salvation of my husband and children, to say no- 
 thing of my own, is at stake, my wishes and happiness go for 
 nothing, and I can only consent." 
 
 From that moment I felt like a condemned criminal for 
 whom there was not a shadow of hope or a chance of escape. 
 Could I possibly have looked upon the sacred obligations of 
 marriage as lightly as Mormonism taught me to regard them, 
 I believe I should have broken every tie and risked the conse- 
 
Taking a Second Wife. 2S3 
 
 quences. But I had vowed to be faithful unto death, and if 
 this second marriage was for ray husband's welfare, and for the 
 salvation of us and of our children, I resolved to make the 
 effort to subdue my rebellious heart, or die in the attempt. 
 For the first time in my life, I thanked God that I was not a 
 man, and that the salvation of my family did not depend upon 
 me ; for if fifty revelations had commanded it, I could not have 
 taken the responsibility of withering one loving, trusting 
 heart. I felt that if such laws were given to us, our woman's 
 nature ought to have been adapted to them, so that submission 
 to them might be as much a pleasure to us as it was to the 
 men, and that we might at least feel that we were justly dealt 
 with. 
 
 Not long after this, my husband brought me a message 
 from Eliza R. Snow. She wanted me to take tea with her, and 
 he urged me to accept the invitation. 1 did not want to go, 
 for I knew too well her object in sending for me. She had 
 been talking with my husband about me, I felt sure, and that 
 was how she came to send the message by him. I went, how- 
 ever, and, as I anticipated, she wanted to talk with me about 
 Polygamy, and to try to convince me that it was for our best 
 interests that my husband should take another wife, and that 
 it was quite time he did so. 
 
 I told her that he was not yet in a position to do so. " We 
 have quite a family," I said, " and I think he should at least be 
 allowed to wait until he has accumulated a little before he 
 embarrasses himself with new responsibilities." 
 
 " And where would the kingdom of God be," she asked, " if 
 we had all talked in this way ? Let your husband take more 
 wives, and let them help him, and you will feel blessed in 
 keeping the commands of God." 
 
 " There would be no good in my husband taking another 
 wife," I said, "while I feel as I do now. To be acceptable to 
 the Lord, a sacrifice should be made willingly and in a proper 
 spirit, and I do not think that under present circumstances it 
 it is proper for him to do this thing." 
 
 " Let him be the judge of that," she replied ; " do not seek 
 to control him ; he alone is responsible, and therefore let him 
 do as he thinks best." 
 
 " But," I said, " he himself does not want another wife yet." 
 But I spoke with hesitation, for my heart misgave me. 
 
 " You are mistaken," she answered ; " your husband is a very 
 good man, and desires to live his religion, and it is a great grief 
 to him to know that you feel as you do, and you really must 
 
284 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 try to overcome your opposition. If you had a loaf of bread 
 to make, and you made it, and it was pronounced good, do you 
 think it would be of the slightest consequence what feelings 
 agitated your mind while you were making it, so long as it was 
 well made ? So it is with the Lord. He does not care with 
 what feelings you give your husband another wife, so long as 
 you do so." 
 
 This was a miserable attempt at reasoning, to say nothing 
 of its falsity ; and notwithstanding all she said, I still felt that 
 no blessing would ever attend an unwilling sacrifice, and I 
 told her so. She spoke to me very kindly, however, and tried 
 to encourage me, and suggested that Carrie would be a very 
 proper person for my husband to marry. I had now no longer 
 any doubt in my mind that it had been all " arranged," and that 
 opposition on my part would be all in vain. I was indignant 
 at this, for I believed that, as the Revelation itself said, I — 
 the first wife — ought first to have been consulted. This, how- 
 ever, I subsequently found was as false as the system itself. 
 
 I returned home, pondering over what had been said to me, 
 with a feeling of intense weariness oppressing my heart. I 
 did not know what to think. It appeared to me that every 
 one had determined that Carrie should be my husband's second 
 wife ; and I now believed, with my talkative friend, that 
 Brigham Young had certainly intended it from the beginning. 
 I felt that I would rather that he should marry almost any one 
 else than her ; for I felt certian that I should hate any woman 
 whom he might marry, no matter how much I might have 
 loved her before. 
 
 But my mind was soon relieved of its trouble respecting 
 poor Carrie ; for, as I before mentioned, her failing health for- 
 bade all thoughts of marriage, and my husband, after a short 
 time, never spoke to me about her. The real cause of my 
 distress, however, was by no means removed ; it was deter- 
 mined, without appeal, that my husband should, notwith- 
 standing any impediment to the contrary, take another wife, 
 whoever that chosen one might be. My apprehensions, there- 
 fore, were not removed ; they were only turned in another 
 direction. 
 
28s 
 
 CHAPTER XXX. 
 
 TRIALS — THE SECOND WIFE CHOSEN — SHADOWS OF LIFE. 
 
 It is a custom among the Mormon married men — those at 
 least who make any pretensions to doing what is right, and 
 who wish to spare the feelings of their wives as much as the 
 degrading system will allow — to make it appear as if the 
 second wife were chosen by the first, and they go through the 
 form of consulting with her as to who shall be selected. The 
 husband will mention the names of several eligible young 
 ladies, among whom is sure to be the one upon whom lie has 
 already set his affections. If the wife should try to make 
 herself agreeable by suggesting one or another of these young 
 ladies, some objection is sure to be raised. One is too thought- 
 less ; the relations of another are not quite so agreeable as 
 they might be ; and the temper of a third is said to be not 
 very good. In this way, one after another is taken off the list, 
 until only one remains — the bright particular star of whom 
 all along the husband has been thinking — and if the wife 
 should make any objections to this one, the husband, of course, 
 has a ready answer. In most cases her extreme youth is an 
 excuse for everything ; she will have plenty of time to learn, 
 and will be the more ready to be taught. 
 
 "When once they have obtained the reluctant consent of 
 their wives, it is astouishing how bright and cheerful these 
 Mormon "husbands become. Notwithstanding ail that they 
 have said to the contrary, it is evident that Polygamy is no 
 trial to their faith. They say that it is as great a cross to 
 them as it is to their wives, but somehow or other they take 
 very kindly to it. 
 
 It was soon settled who should be the honoured maiden to 
 whom my husband should pay his addresses. Her name was 
 Belinda, and she was the daughter of the Apostle Parley 
 P. Pratt. I of course was not expected to ask any questions 
 or evince any curiosity respecting the girl or my husband's 
 relations towards her. I had given my consent, I had acted 
 
2S6 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 my part, or at least all the part that was expected of me ; I had 
 fulfilled my duty as a Mormon first wife when I agreed to 
 another wife being taken ; and, henceforth, all that transpired 
 was — so the Elders would have said — no business of mine. 
 
 My husband's intended certainly was very young — almost 
 too young for a bride she would have been considered in any 
 other community — and I must in fairness allow that she was 
 very handsome. It is of the utmost importance that a Mor- 
 mon girl should marry young. Women everywhere are never 
 anxious to grow old, but among the Mormons age is especially 
 dreaded by the women ; for when years have robbed them of 
 their persoual attractions, in most cases they lose all hold upon 
 their husbands' affections, and find themselves obliged to give 
 place to prettier and more youthful rivals. A woman's posi- 
 tion in the world to come, as I have before mentioned, depends, 
 so the Elders say, very much upon the number of children she 
 has borne in this ; it is, therefore, a consideration of the very 
 first importance that she should marry as early in life as pos- 
 sible, and this obligation is never for a moment overlooked by 
 the refined and pure-minded Mormon men. 
 
 And now began the "painful task" of wooing the young 
 lady. My husband told me that it was " a very painful duty," 
 and as an obedient wife I felt bound to believe him. It was, 
 of course, no pleasure to him to pay his addresses to an in- 
 teresting young girl ; it was no anxiety to be with her which 
 made him hasten away to the damsel's house of an evening. 
 Oh, dear, no ! it was pure principle, love for the kingdom of 
 God, and " a very painful task ! " He seemed, however, to 
 bear it remarkably well, and manifested a zeal which was per- 
 fectly astonishing to me, considering the circumstances. In 
 fact, I felt it my duty to restrain him a little for the sake of his 
 health, for he seemed so anxious to perform his " task " pro- 
 perly that he could scarcely spare time to take his meals ; but, 
 regardless of his own feelings, he did not pay much attention 
 to my suggestions. 
 
 But, deeply as I sympathized with my husband, there were 
 times when I felt that mine was indeed no imaginary sorrow, 
 and that nothing could lull the storm that had gathered in my 
 breast. The affliction which I had so long dreaded was now 
 right at my door, and the most painful feelings agitated my 
 mind. Sometimes I shut myself up in my own room and tried 
 to reason with myself ; then I would kneel, and pray, and weep 
 with passionate emotion ; and again I would pace the floor, 
 my heart overflowing with auger and indignation. I never, at 
 
Trials. 287 
 
 that time, knew what it was to be happy, for I felt that I was a 
 burden and hindrance to my husband, and I longed to die. I 
 had loved him so devotedly that I could not even now cast 
 him from my heart, and, though I felt bitterly my position, I 
 believed that he would not willingly wound me, and that he 
 was acting from the purest of motives. But it was all in vain. 
 I could not change my nature, and my heart would rebel. 
 
 It would be impossible for me to tell the thousand annoy- 
 ances and indignities to which I was forced to submit — trials 
 which might appear too trifling even to name, but which to 
 a wife, under such circumstances, were crosses which she 
 found it hard enough to bear. My husband knew nothing of 
 these things, and, had he done so, it is more than probable that 
 he would have considered it weakness in me to be troubled 
 about matters of such small consequence — little actions and 
 foolish words which he would have said I ought to have treated 
 with contempt. It was easy to say that, but not so easy to do. 
 Let any wife picture to herself how she would feel, if, after 
 schooling her heart to submission, after realizing that she was 
 no longer to be first and dearest in her husband's affections, 
 she were to be constantly hearing the friends and relations of 
 the young girl to whom her husband was engaged, boasting of 
 his devotion to her, and openly expressing their belief that he 
 had never loved before ! How would any wife be pleased if, 
 whenever her husband's intended received a valuable present 
 from him, she were particularly informed of the fact, and a 
 thousand little aggravating details were added to make her, if 
 possible, more miserable? 
 
 A woman can nerve herself to endure almost anything, and 
 outwardly she may conceal her feeliugs, but there are limits 
 beyond which endurance is not possible. A chance meeting 
 with the girl who has superseded her in her husband's love, — or 
 worse still, should she chance to surprise the affectionate couple 
 tete-d-t$te t -*--W sufficient to dispel all her good resolutions and 
 to destroy that tranquillity of mind which she finds it so 
 difficult to preserve. She becomes sick at heart, nervous, and 
 entirely unfitted for her duties. I have frequently heard Mor- 
 mon women say that, notwithstanding their husbands had been 
 for many years polygamists, they could never see the other 
 wives without a feeling of anger and indignation arising in 
 their hearts. I know that in my own case I never became 
 reconciled to the system. 
 
 My husband was called away to the Eastern States upon 
 business, and his marriage was postponed. I thought that the 
 
288 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 present would be a good time to show her some little atten- 
 tions, which I believed it was my duty to do. The idea of 
 coming in contact with her was certainly not at all pleasant ; 
 but I felt that it was only right for me to act in a friendly 
 manner towards her, however painful it might be. She was 
 the cause of much sorrow to me, but I could not blame her, 
 for she had been born and brought up in the system, and, of 
 course, supposed it true. 
 
 Belinda was a very nice girl, and, under other circumstances, 
 I believe I should have liked her very much. I looked upon 
 her as little more than a child, and my husband has frequently 
 told me that he also regarded her in that light ; but to me it 
 was of small consequence that he thought of her as a child, 
 so long as he acted towards her as a woman. Now that he 
 was away from home, there was no danger that she would meet 
 him, so I invited her in a friendly way to call upon me. She 
 came, and I had one or two other ladies present, for I was not 
 like my husband in that particular — / had no anxiety to be 
 alone with hei\ My effort to cultivate a friendly feeling 
 towards her was not very successful. There was a coldness 
 and restraint on both sides which we could not overcome, and 
 I felt not a little relief when the evening was over. Subse- 
 quently I renewed the attempt, but to no purpose ; her veiy 
 presence in my house, and among my children, seemed in itself 
 an insult to me. 
 
 During my husband's absence my poor friend Carrie Grant 
 had been daily growing worse in health. I had once asked 
 my husband if there was any truth in the rumours that I had 
 heard of his attachment to her, but he had assured me that 
 there was no foundation for them. 
 
 Poor Carrie ! Hers was a short and unhappy life ; even 
 her little dream of love was overclouded by disappointment. 
 She was now constantly confined to her room, and whenever 
 it was possible I used to call upon her, and attempted to make 
 her feel more happy and cheerful. She used to ask me to talk 
 with her about Mormonism. " You know," she said, " that I 
 have never known any other religion, and I believe that this 
 is right, though it does not make me happy. My father loved 
 Mormonism so much that I feel it must be right ; the fault is in 
 my own evil nature, that does not bend to the will of Heaven." 
 
 One day she said to me : " I am getting worse, Sister 
 Stenhouse, and I am glad of it, for I shall die. I am of no 
 good here — there is nothing for me to do ; if I lived, I should 
 only cause trouble ; it is better as it is." 
 
Trials. 289 
 
 " Carrie," I said, " you must not talk like that. You are 
 still very young, and probably will live for many years, and you 
 do not know what future may lie before you." 
 
 " Do not blame me too much," she replied, " for I am not 
 the only unhappy girl in the city. I know many girls who 
 are very miserable. Married women think that they are the 
 only ones who suffer, while we girls know that nowhere upon 
 the face of the earth can be found such an unhappy set as we 
 are. Why did Brigham Young keep me from going to my 
 friends in the East ? I should have been happier then ; I 
 should have felt better. But now I want to die, and I am 
 weary waiting for death." 
 
 In this melancholy mood I found her one day, when she 
 appeared particularly bad. She had been ill then about ten 
 months ; but her loving blue eyes were just as bright as ever, 
 and I could see very little change in her, except that she was 
 not able now to leave her couch without assistance, and she 
 spoke as if it fatigued her very much. It was quite impossible 
 to arouse her from the state of melancholy into which she 
 had fallen, and it seemed to me that she could not last long. 
 I offered to take her to my house, and said I would nurse her 
 there and take care of her ; but she said she was very kindly 
 treated by her father's family, and did not wish to change. 
 She seemed to cling to me as if she could not bear that I 
 should leave her, and she told me she had something on her 
 mind that troubled her ; she wanted to have a long talk with 
 me about it, but not that day, she said. 
 
 As the end was fast approaching, she one day said: "I want 
 to tell you now, Sister Steuhouse, what I spoke of before, if 
 you are willing to listen and will not be angry with anything 
 I say. Remember, I am dying, or I never would speak to you 
 as I am going to." 
 
 I told her of my great love for her, and that nothing that 
 she could say would change that love. 
 
 " You do not know what I want to ask you, or you would 
 not say so," she replied ; "and I so dread to lose your love that 
 I am afraid to tell you what is in my mind. But you know 
 that I am dying, and you will not be very hard with me." 
 
 She was then silent for some time, as if too much fatigued 
 to continue the conversation. " No, I cannot tell you to-day," 
 she said at last ; "I want you to love me one day longer." 
 
 I urged her not to doubt that my love towards her could 
 never change, and told her that it was better for her to speak 
 at once and relieve her mind. She took my hand, and looked 
 
 u 
 
290 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 long and tenderly at me, and then she said : " I will tell you 
 all ; and if your love can stand that test, then indeed you do 
 love me." 
 
 I encouraged her, and she began : " Would you hate me if 
 I told you that I loved your husband ? " 
 
 " No," I replied, " I would not hate you, Carrie." I said 
 no more, for it seemed to me that it would be wrong of me 
 to tell her of my suspicions, and all that I had suffered at 
 the thought that my husband had couceived an affection for 
 her. 
 
 " Can you possibly answer me as calmly as that ? " she 
 said. " I thought that the very mention of such a thing would 
 almost kill you, for I saw how much you loved your husband, 
 and, ah ! how I have suffered at the thought of telling you ! 
 But that is not all I wanted to say, or I need never have 
 spoken to you at all. I wanted to ask you to do me one last 
 kindness, and then I think I shall die happy. You know that 
 we have been taught that Polygamy is absolutely necessary 
 to salvation, and if I were to die without being sealed to some 
 man I could not possibly enter the celestial kingdom. My 
 friends wished me to be sealed to one of the authorities of the 
 Church, but I cannot bear the idea of being sealed to a man 
 whom I do not love. I love your husband, and I want you to 
 promise that I shall be sealed to him. If I had thought 
 that I should recover, I never would have let you know this, 
 for I would not live to give you sorrow. But, when I am 
 gone, will you kneel by your husband's side in the Endowment 
 House, and be married to him for me ? Will it pain you much 
 to do that for me, Sister Stenhouse ?" 
 
 I felt so strangely as I listened to all this, that I could not 
 utter a single word, and she continued : " We shall then be 
 together in eternity, and I am happy at the thought of that, 
 for I think I love you even better than I love him. And then 
 I believe we shall have overcome all our earthly feelings and 
 shall be prepared to live that celestial law, and perhaps we 
 may prefer it, for no doubt we shall know no unhappiness 
 there." 
 
 The exertion of talking seemed to be too much for her, and 
 she remained silent for some time. I felt ashamed that I had 
 allowed my feelings to influence me at such a moment, for 
 while she had been speaking I had allowed my thoughts to 
 travel back over the past year; and now that she admitted her 
 love for my husband, very many circumstances came painfully 
 to my recollection and confirmed all that she said. I resolved, 
 
Trials. 291 
 
 however, not to question her, but to allow her to tell me just 
 what she pleased. Sol knelt down by her side and whispered 
 iuto her ear a solemn promise that I would do all that she 
 desired. Poor girl ! how I felt for her ! When I had given 
 her this pledge, she appeared much relieved and told me freely 
 all that had passed between my husband and herself, and she 
 said she had left my house simply because she could not endure 
 to cause me any sorrow. I told her of my husband's con- 
 templated marriage with Belinda Pratt, and she appeared a 
 good deal troubled at it. "Let me be second," she said, 
 "for then I shall feel that I am nearer to you, aud I want 
 you always to think that, when you die, if I have the power, 
 I shall be the first to meet you and take you by the hand." 
 
 Thus we talked together for a long time, and it was with 
 painful interest that I listened to what she said. It was a 
 singular interview — a wife receiving from a young girl the 
 confession that she loved her husband ; that he had fully 
 returned her affection, and had even talked with her about 
 marriage ; the girl requesting the wife to be married for her 
 to her own husband; and the wife, full of tender love towards 
 the girl, freely giving her a promise that she would do so. In 
 my sorrow at parting from her, and the great affection that I 
 felt towards her, all feelings of jealousy were utterly forgotten. 
 Before I left I said : " Carrie, whether you live or die, you 
 shall be married to my husband, if he ever enters into 
 Polygamy ; and I say this although I do not doubt that he 
 will do so, and at the same time I think that you will 
 live." 
 
 I really believed that she might recover ; for now this 
 burden was off her mind, I thought she would have strength 
 to subdue her sickness, and at first it seemed as if this would 
 really be the case. The next day she appeared so much 
 better that her friends all became hopeful, and when I told 
 her that 1 had written to my husband and had told him, that, 
 since he had made up his mind to go into Polygamy, I wished 
 him to marry her, she appeared so happy, and showed her 
 joy in so many innocent ways, that I could not be angry. 
 
 " How do you think he will feel," she said, " when he 
 gets your letter ? Do I look pretty well to-day ? And do 
 you think that if I continue to get better I shall have regained 
 my looks before he comes home ?" 
 
 "Oh," I said, humouring her, "you will look quite pretty 
 by the time he returns ; I shall be really jealous of you." 
 
 In an instant the thought of how much all mention of her 
 u 2 
 
292 An EnglisJiwoman in Utah. 
 
 in connexion with my husband must be painful to me, 
 occurred to her mind, and she begged me to forgive her for 
 her carelessness. " No," said she, " I will try never to give 
 you pain, and you must always love me." 
 
 For some days this improvement in her appearance con- 
 tinued, and I thought and hoped that we should soon have 
 her round again. I really wished her to live now, for if it 
 was absolutely necessary that Mr. Stenhouse must practise 
 Polygamy, I would prefer that, rather than any other woman, 
 he should marry her, for I felt that she would understand 
 me as no one else could. 
 
 Thus, after all, I really had selected a second wife for my 
 husband ! 
 
 But the change in poor Carrie's looks was altogether de- 
 ceptive. News came to me one morning that she was very 
 much worse, and I hastened to see her. As I entered 
 the room, her eyes brightened, and she said : " I am 
 glad that you have come, Sister Stenhouse, for I feel that I 
 am going soon." Then, after a pause, she added, holding up 
 her hands — "Do you know what that means ?" The finger- 
 nails were turning blue. 
 
 " That means death," she said ; "and it is better so." 
 
 After this we conversed together for some time upon 
 various topics of special interest to her in the position in 
 which she then was, and presently she said, as if asking a 
 question, " You will keep your promise, I know." 
 
 " Carrie," I answered, " if there is anything that I can say 
 or do that will make you feel more certain that I will keep 
 my promise, if I live to do so, tell me, and I will do it." 
 
 " I am afraid," she said, " that, after all, he never loved 
 me. He pitied my lonely situation and was so kind and good 
 to me, that I learned to love him, and those meddlesome sisters 
 tried to get him to marry me, but I would not be false to you. 
 Then we both thought it was best not to tell you, as it would 
 make you grieve, although it never could take place. Even 
 now, had I not known that I was dying, I never would have 
 told you. But you will not love me less when you think of 
 me after I am gone ? " 
 
 I told her that my affection for her would never change, 
 and I talked with her, and tried to soothe her dying moments, 
 and to make her feel less lonely ; and thus the morning passed 
 away. In the afternoou she was silent and apparently uncon- 
 scious, and before another day dawned she had passed away to 
 her rest. 
 
293 
 
 CHAPTER XXXI. 
 
 MARRIAGE FOR THE DEAD ENTERING INTO POLYGAMY 
 
 THE NEW WIFE. 
 
 The following evening I went round again to the house, to 
 gaze once more at the form of my dear friend. She was lying 
 in her coffin, dressed for the grave, and I looked at her long 
 and tenderly as she rested sleeping there. Her features were 
 peaceful aud natural as if in slumber ; an expression of calm 
 tranquillity hovered around her countenance, and in the repose 
 of death she seemed almost happy. Poor girl ! her life had 
 been short indeed, and she had known but little pleasure ; but 
 I believed that she was now beyond the reach of earthly 
 sorrow and earthly disappointment, happy in that land where 
 suffering and tears are all unknown. " There shall be no night 
 there," the Lord of that other life had said. Sorrow and sigh- 
 ing shall flee away from that bright and glorious land ; and 
 the grief and pain, which on earth are the portion of so many 
 tried and weary hearts, shall find no entrance into that eternal 
 rest which our Father in heaven has prepared for us beyond 
 the floods of death. 
 
 Oh, better far ! I thought, it is that thus she should pass 
 away. True, she has seen but little of life, and has not tasted 
 many of its joys; but, as a compensation, how much has she been 
 spared ! She was so gentle and so sensitive, so unfit to battle 
 with the stern realities of existence, that I felt she had gained 
 rather than lost in being taken away in the morning of her 
 life. 
 
 I now expected very soon to be called upon to uudergo the 
 most painful ordeal that any wife can be required to pass 
 through : I was to give my husband another wife — such is the 
 sacrifice demanded of every Mormon woman. 
 
 The thought of doing this was worse than death to me. I 
 felt injured, humiliated and degraded by it, and yet I still tried 
 to believe that it was the will of God, and must therefore be 
 right. To me, this outrage upon all the purest feelings of 
 
294 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 womanhood seemed more like the will of men — men of the 
 basest and most unholy passions. It was repulsive to me in 
 whatever form it was presented, but still I reproached my own 
 rebellious heart for feeling so, for I had been told that the 
 ways of the Lord were past finding out, and, howeve runlike 
 Him this Revelation might appear, we Mormon women had 
 been taught that it was our duty to bend our wills and to 
 suffer in unquestioning and uncomplaining silence. 
 
 As the time approached, I felt like a condemned criminal 
 awaiting the day of execution. A sense of apprehension, a 
 dread of coming evil, was ever present to my mind, and every- 
 thing appeared to me through the medium of my griefs. To 
 a certain extent, my husband also suffered, for it would be 
 impossible, I think, for any man to see his wife suffering so 
 intensely without feeling for her, and I sometimes believed 
 that his sympathy for me was so great, that, if he had dared, 
 he would even then have refused to obey the counsel of the 
 Priesthood. 
 
 Then, too, he had a little trouble of his own, for he began 
 to realize that this innovation upon the sanctity of our home 
 would make a great change in his future — his freedom would 
 be gone. 
 
 However gratifying it may be to a man's feelings to know 
 that there is no limit to his privileges, and that he is always 
 at liberty — no matter how many wives he may already possess 
 — to fall in love with every pretty girl he meets, and many 
 her if she consents; yet every intelligent man must be con- 
 scious that it can be no easy matter to keep peace between 
 many wives in one house, and that, if he wishes to act rightly 
 by all, he must train himself to be scrupulously just, never show- 
 ing any partiality in look or deed, or even by a word. There are 
 many such men among the Mormons. They are conscientious 
 and good men, who try to live their religion, but who at the 
 same time desire to act kindly towards their wives. My hus- 
 band began to realize the great responsibility that he was 
 about to take upon himself, and, seeing his thoughtful and 
 troubled look, I tried to hide my own feelings; for every true 
 Avife knows that nothing so powerfully arouses a woman to 
 struggle with her own sorrows as the knowledge that her hus- 
 band is unhappy. 
 
 The dreaded day at length arrived, the day which for so 
 long, and with such painful forebodings, I had anticipated. I 
 had spent a very wakeful and unhappy night, and felt very 
 sick and nervous, for I was about to become a mother, and my 
 
Marriage for the Dead. 295 
 
 health was anything but strong. I hardly felt as if I shouM 
 have courage to go through that day. I was, however, com- 
 pelled to nerve myself to the task, and I began to make my 
 preparations for going to the Endowment House. The only 
 thing that gave me strength was the thought that my husband 
 had consented that I should go through the ceremony of being 
 married to him that day for Carrie; for even then I supposed 
 that those who would be married in heaven must first be mar- 
 ried on earth, and that, too, by those who had received au- 
 thority from on high. 
 
 Ever since I had first embraced Mormonism I had been en- 
 tirely cut off from Gentile society, although living in the 
 Gentile world. Abroad, and also when in New York, the 
 cares of a family kept me very much at home, and the con- 
 tinual state of apprehension in which I was rendered me averse 
 to visiting among friends. Thus it was that I never conversed 
 freely with any one who could have informed me truthfully of 
 the origin of Mormonism, and consequently I brooded over 
 my religion as a melancholy fact ; but, though with moments 
 of weakness and wavering, I never thoroughly doubted its 
 divine origin. The terrible sacrifice which was about to be 
 required of me might, I thought, be painful to make, but it 
 was no less the will of God. I must submit, whatever the 
 effort might cost me. 
 
 The morning was bright and lovely — a morning calculated 
 to inspire happy hopes and pleasant feelings ; but to me it 
 brought nothing but fear and trembling. Even the innocent 
 prattle of my children annoyed me, and they, not knowing how 
 deeply I was suffering, looked at me with wonder in their eyes. 
 Oh, I thought, surely my husband will at length comprehend 
 the greatness of the love I bear him? surely he will now appre- 
 ciate the sacrifice I make for his sake and for my religion ? 
 Even now, if I did not know that he believes this doctrine to 
 be true, and he would feel condemned if, through any opposi- 
 tion of mine, he were not allowed to practise it, I would at the 
 last moment dash this bitter cup from my lips and take my 
 chance of the consequences in a future state ! 
 
 Utterly cast down and broken-hearted, I felt almost as if 
 the Lord Himself had forsaken me, and there was no one to 
 whom I could look for aid. I could not go to my husband in 
 that hour for sympathy; for I well knew that his thoughts 
 must be with his intended bride, and that my sorrows would 
 only trouble him at a time when he must desire to be at 
 peace. Besides which, I was too proud to plead for love at a 
 
2g6 A 11 EnglisJnvoman hi Utah. 
 
 shrine that I felt should rightfully be all my own. And then, 
 too, I knew not but what he might tell her of my feelings ; 
 and it would be too great a humiliation for me should she 
 think me jealous of the position which she now occupied, and 
 her influence over my husband. 
 
 With such feelings I went to the Endowment House. There 
 at the altar I was to give proof of my obedience and of my 
 faith in my religion, by placing the hand of the new wife in 
 that of my husband. The thought was almost madness. To 
 have followed my husband to the grave would have been a 
 terrible blow to me, but to live to see him the husband of 
 another woman was something that seemed to me beyond en- 
 durance. Notwithstanding every effort of faith, doubts would 
 ari-e, and in bitterest anguish I thought — this is more like 
 the work of cruel man than of God. Why should man have 
 this power over woman, and she so helpless ? Surely a just 
 and impartial God can have nothing to do with this ! There 
 was a darkness before my eyes, and, struggle as I might, I 
 could see no ray of light — no glimmering of hope. 
 
 First, my husband was married to Miss Pratt; and then to 
 roe for Carrie ! Thus I fulfilled my pledge to my departed 
 friend. I had found, before going to the Endowment House, 
 that I could not have Carrie sealed to my husband next to 
 me, for Belinda had objected, and her mother had appealed 
 to Brigham Young about it. They told me that he had said 
 that the living had claims before the dead, although my own 
 feelings would have led me to think otherwise. Brigham 
 Young performed the ceremony. He sat at the end of the 
 altar and we three knelt down — my husband on one side, and 
 Miss Pratt and myself on the other. Speaking to me, Brigham 
 Young asked : " Are you willing to give this woman to your 
 husband to be his lawful wife for time and for all eternity ? 
 If you are, you will signify it by placing her right hand within 
 the right hand of your husband." 
 
 I did so; but what words can describe my feelings ? The 
 anguish of a whole lifetime was crowded into that one single 
 moment. The painful meaning of those words, " for all eter- 
 nity," withered my soul, and the unending contract which 
 my husband had made with another woman was practically a 
 divorce from me. I had now laid everything upon the altar 
 of sacrifice, for I had given away my husband. What more 
 could the Lord require of me that I was not prepared to do ? 
 
 I was bewildered and almost beside myself, and yet I had 
 to hide my feelings. Hope was for ever banished from my 
 
m. - 
 
Marriage for the Dead. 297 
 
 life. To whom could I look for sympathy among those who 
 were around me ? They were most of them men who had 
 ruthlessly wrecked the lives and lacerated the hearts of hun- 
 dreds of women before my turn came, and the sight of an 
 unhappy wife was so common in their experience that it was 
 more likely to awaken their anger than their pity. I felt this 
 instinctively, and I resolved that they should never know how 
 much my poor heart was torn. My husband, it is true, was 
 there. My husband ! "Was he not now the husband of an- 
 other woman, and therefore no longer belonging to me ? I 
 knew that I never could overcome my early teaching suffi- 
 ciently to feel that this was right, though such was my 
 wretched fanaticism that I mentally and verbally assented to 
 it. I felt that now I stood alone — our union was severed, 
 there could never be any copartnership between that other 
 wife and myself — no, never ! Salvation or no salvation, it was 
 impossible that I could ever love her. From that day 1 began 
 to hide all my sorrows from my husband, and it was but very 
 seldom that I uttered a word of discontent, and when I ex- 
 pressed what I felt, it was in anger; but never in sorrow 
 seeking sympathy. 
 
 I remember when we returned home — that home which had 
 now lost its charm, for the young wife was to live there — my 
 husband said to me : " You have been very brave, but it is 
 not so hard to bear, after all, is it ? " I had hidden my feel- 
 ings so well that he really thought that I was indifferent. 
 But during the remainder of the day, how I watched their looks 
 and noticed every Avoid ! To me their tender tones were 
 daggers, piercing my heart and filling me with a desire to re- 
 venge myself upon the father of my children. Oh, what 
 fanatics Ave Mormon Avomen have been eA r er to have belieA^ed 
 for a single moment that a just and loving Father and God 
 avouUI have given a command that in almost every instance 
 has produced such fearful results upon those avIio should haA-e 
 been happy Avives and mothers, and consequently upon their 
 children ! Indeed, even then it made me feel that there was 
 no justice in heaA r en, if this love which is the best part of 
 Avoman's nature — this love that Ave had always believed was a 
 part of divinity itself — this principle, Avithout which there 
 Avould be nothing worth living for — if this was to be our 
 greatest curse, and the woman who showed herself most 
 actuated by this gentle influence was to be the greatest 
 victim. 
 
 I felt that day that if I could not get away by myself 
 
298 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 alone and give expression to my overcharged feelings, I 
 should certainly lose my reason. I was utterly miserable. 
 It was only in the dead of night, in my own chamber, that 
 I gave way to the terrible anguish that was consuming me. 
 God and my own soul can alone bear witness to what I 
 suffered in that time of woe. That night was to me such 
 as even the most God-forsaken might pray never to know; 
 and morning dawned without my having for a moment closed 
 my eyes. 
 
299 
 
 CHAPTER XXXII. 
 
 DOMESTIC ARRANGEMENTS OF THE SAINTS : — POLYGAMY 
 FROM A WOMAN'S STANDPOINT. 
 
 I "was now to realize personally, in my own home life, what 
 Polygamy actually was. Hitherto I had observed how other 
 women suffered, and how other men treated their wives ; but 
 now the painful reality had come to my own door, and I was to 
 experience the effects of the system upon myself, and, instead 
 of noting the conduct of otber men, I should be able to observe 
 the cbange which Polygamy might work in my own husband. 
 
 How little do the Mormon men know what it is in the truest 
 sense to have a wife, though they have so many " wives " after 
 their own fashion ! Almost imperceptibly to the husband, and 
 even to the wife herself, a barrier rises between them from the 
 very day that he marries another woman. It matters not how 
 much she believes in the doctrine of plural marriage, or how 
 willing she may be to submit to it, the fact remains the same. 
 The estrangement begins by her trying to hide from him all 
 her secret sorrows ; for she feels that what has been done can- 
 not be undone now, and she says : " I cannot change it ; neither 
 would I if I could, because it is the will of God, and I must 
 bear it ; besides, what good will it do to worry my husband 
 with all my feelings ? He cannot help me ; and is he not 
 another woman's husband ?" Then comes, perhaps, the pain- 
 fid thought, " I have no longer any desire to confide in him." 
 Or it may be that she detects some familiarity between her 
 husband and the other wife ; and she feels bitterly towards 
 both, for, strive as she may, human nature cannot be altogether 
 crushed out. 
 
 That was a time of great misery to me, much as I tried to 
 control my feelings. Day by day I strove to hide from my 
 heart even the knowledge of my own unhappiuess ; and when 
 I could no longer endure, I would lock myself in my room and 
 give vent to the anguish that was consuming me. I realized, 
 however, that this continual conflict of feeling was unfitting 
 
300 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 me for my duties. Everything was becoming a trial to me. I 
 could not bear to be spoken to ; the prattle of my children, 
 that had always been so dear to me, was now discordant to my 
 feelings ; and all their little questionings were irksome. I de- 
 termined that this should no longer be the case ; I would battle 
 with my own heart ; I would henceforth devote my whole life 
 — worthless as that life appeared to have become — to the wel- 
 fare of my little ones. This was a conclusion that hundreds 
 of wretched Mormon wives have arrived at ; and when this is 
 the case, there is some hope for them. But many give way to 
 despair, and go down broken-hearted to their graves. 
 
 How terribly these Mormon men deceive themselves ! When 
 peace, or rather quiet, reigns in their homes, they think that the 
 Spirit of God is there. But it is not so. It is a calm not like 
 the gentle silence of sleep, but as the painful stillness of death — 
 the death of the heart's best affection and all that is worth call- 
 ing love. All true love has fled, and indifference has taken its 
 place. The very children feel it. What do they, what can 
 they, care about their father, whom they so seldom see ? 
 
 Some wives, afraid of creating a prejudice against themselves 
 and of being forsaken altogether, deceive their husbands, and 
 make them believe that they are satisfied. It must be admitted 
 that, in acting thus, these wives are not always actuated by a 
 fear of losing the society or love of their husbands, for, in Poly- 
 gamy, love dies a natural death ; but it is galling to a woman's 
 pride to have it said that she has been cast off for another. 
 Then, too — and some women would consider this the most im- 
 portant reason of all — the best provision is usually made for 
 the home where the husband stops most frequently ; and the 
 wife, if not for her own sq,ke, at least for her children's, will 
 be anxious to have a well-provided house. This is only 
 natural. The " divine " plan has always been worked out in a 
 very human way. 
 
 When a man has several wives, there is, of course, no 
 necessity for him to stay with an unhappy or mopish one, as 
 he can always find a more pleasant reception elsewhere. Men 
 who can really believe that women are satisfied and happy 
 under such a system must be entirely ignorant of human 
 nature. 
 
 When a man has more than one wife, his affections must of 
 necessity be divided ; he really has no home in the truest sense 
 of the word ; his houses are simply boarding-places. Should 
 he have all his wives in one house, as is often the case, they 
 are then all slaves to the system ; each one is watching the 
 
Domestic Arrangements of the Saints. 301 
 
 others, and they know it — trying to discover something that 
 can be secretly told to the husband to draw away his affec- 
 tions from the rest. What more miserable position could be 
 imagined ? 
 
 There is, however, no fixed principle regulating Mormon 
 men in the management of their families ; every one is at 
 liberty to do as he thinks best, and scarcely two families are 
 governed alike. When Salt Lake City was first settled, the 
 people had to live as best they could, and a man was glad to 
 get even one roof under which he and all his wives might be 
 sheltered. Now, when the husband is wealthy, he generally 
 provides separate homes for his wive3. Some wealthy men, 
 however, still have all their wives and families together. 
 
 I have in my mind, as I write, a very prominent Mormon, 
 who has half-a-dozen wives ; and he divides his time among 
 them after this fashion. The first week he stays with the first 
 wife ; the next week he is with the second ; then he goes back 
 to the first. The fourth week he passes with the third wife ; 
 then he returns for another week to the first. And thus he 
 continues to give one week to the first wife, and the next to 
 one of the other five in turn, until he has blessed them all 
 with his presence. Now, it would at a casual glance appear 
 that this first wife has by far the largest share of her hus- 
 band's society ; but if the truth must be told, it must be 
 admitted that the husband is not quite so generous as he 
 appears. The last wife of this good man is a young and pretty 
 girl, and she lives with the first wife, and thus his devotion to 
 the latter is rewarded by the presence of the former. Each 
 of the other wives has one week of his society and attentions 
 in every eleven — about five weeks apiece of companionship 
 with their husband in the course of a whole year. Other men 
 with the same number of wives pass constantly between one 
 house and another ; they can never be found when wanted ; 
 their lives are oue eternal round, and they may be said to have 
 no real abiding place. 
 
 In every settlement in Utah, long, low-roofed houses may 
 be seen with a row of doors and windows alternating. Even 
 in Salt Lake City, much as it has changed of late years, such 
 houses may still be found. To every door and window there 
 is, of course, a wife ; and the furniture of her room consists 
 of a bed, three chairs, and a table. Then, if the man is ;i very 
 devout Mormon and wishes to increase his kingdom by adding 
 another wife to the inhabitants of the long many-doored house, 
 a waggon-box is so arranged as to form a sleeping apartment 
 
302 Aii EnglisJnvoman in Utah. 
 
 for the new comer ; or, what is more likely, one of the old 
 wives is put into the waggon-box, and the new one takes her 
 place. 
 
 A house with two wings is rather a favourite style with those 
 men, who, to silence their conscience and the priesthood, con- 
 clude to take "just one extra wife," and no more. The wives, 
 with their children, occupy, respectively, each a wing ; and the 
 entrance-door opens into a parlour, which serves as a recep- 
 tion-room for both families. The husband in this case spends 
 a week on one side of the house and a week on the other, 
 alternately ; and thus, by an impartial division of his attentions, 
 he preserves peace in his family. A man who is comfortably 
 off can, of course, arrange his domestic affairs so as to avoid, 
 as far as is possible, the inconveniences of the system, but a 
 poor man is forced to submit to circumstances. Many men 
 have entered into Polygamy, with two, three, and even four 
 wives, all, with their children, living together under one roof 
 — in one room — in the most disgraceful and barbarous man- 
 ner ; but even for this the leaders were really more to blame 
 than the poor deluded men themselves ; for the command to 
 "Build up the Kingdom! — build up the Kingdom!" — in 
 other words, take many wives and raise up large families — 
 has been so constantly and imperatively insisted upon that 
 good sense and propriety have at last been entirely over- 
 looked. 
 
 In a very large house, with many wives, there is greater 
 safety and peace for the husband than in a small house with 
 only two wives. When there are only two apartments, the 
 husband, if not in one, is supposed to be in the other, and the 
 neglected wife frequently expresses her opinion of her rival in 
 the opposite room in very powerful language. Scenes may 
 be witnessed in such households which are too shocking to dis- 
 close. Brigham Young was conscious of this when he said 
 he " would stand no more fighting and scratching around 
 him"; and yet, in the face of all this, he dares to tell the 
 people that this is the " Order of Celestial Marriage." With 
 many wives living together in a large house there are many 
 advantages. The whereabouts of the husband is not so easily 
 discovered, and the unhappy or jealous wife is at a loss to know 
 upon whom to vent her ire. On this account even men with 
 small means prefer to have three wives instead of two, as each 
 wife, not knowing which of the other two she ought to hate 
 the most, divides her jealousy. It takes, however, a wise man 
 to know how to live in Polygamy, so as to balance all the con- 
 
POLYGAMY IN LOW LIFE— THE POOR MAN'S FAMILY. 
 
 POLYGAMY IN niGH LIFE — THE PROPHET'S MANSION". 
 
 To face p. 302. 
 
Domestic Arrangements of the Saints. 303 
 
 flicting interests and obtain a little peace, if happiness is out 
 of the question. 
 
 Where the husband is a rich man and has abundant wealth 
 wherewith to supply the wants of his numerous wives and 
 children, and to furnish all the necessary accommodation that 
 a growing family demands, much of the jealousy and ill-feel- 
 ing inseparable from Polygamy can, to a certain extent, be 
 avoided. 
 
 It would be quite impossible, with any regard to propriety, 
 to relate all the horrible results of this disgraceful system. It 
 has debased the minds and degraded the lives of good and 
 honest men and women, while those who naturally had a ten- 
 dency towards evil have become a hundred times worse. Mar- 
 riages have been contracted between the nearest relatives ; 
 and old men tottering on the brink of the grave have been 
 united to little girls scarcely in their teens ; while unnatural 
 alliances of every description, which in any other community 
 would be regarded with disgust and abhorrence, are here en- 
 tered into in the name of God, and under the sanction of a 
 " Revelation " supposed to proceed from the pure and holy 
 Saviour. 
 
 I was much shocked and disgusted when first I went to 
 Utah, to find a man whom under other circumstances I had 
 known in London, living with two sisters whom he had mar- 
 ried in the manner I have just described, and, strange as it 
 may appear, it was not with them a matter of necessity. When 
 I knew the husband in Europe, I considered him a man of 
 education and refinement; but I certainly was mistaken, for no 
 man whose nature was at all sensitive would have lived as he 
 did. His wives, too, who had been considered highly respect- 
 able English girls, were not ashamed of their degraded position ; 
 they professed to believe in bringing the world back to its pri- 
 mitive purity and innocence. 
 
 It is quite a common thing in Utah for a man to marry two 
 .md even three sisters. I was well acquainted with one man 
 who married his half-sister, and I know several who have 
 married mother and daughter. I know also another man who 
 married a widow with several children ; and, when one of the 
 girls had grown into her teens, he insisted on marrying her 
 also, having first by some means won her affections. The 
 mother, however, was much opposed to this marriage, aud 
 finally gave up her husband entirely to her daughter ; and to 
 this very day the daughter bears children to her step-father, 
 living as wife in the same house with her mother ! 
 
304 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 In another instance, a well-known man in Salt Lake City, 
 who has several wives and married daughters, married a young 
 girl of fifteen years of age whom his wife had adopted and 
 brought up as her own. 
 
 Quite a number of the leading Mormons have wives in the 
 various settlements ; and this is very convenient to them if 
 they have to travel much. If the wives are old aud expe- 
 rienced, as wives who are sent into the country generally are, 
 they can then look after and manage a farm ; aud if they have 
 growing boys, the farm can be worked upon a very economical 
 plan. The younger wives in the city can be supplied from them 
 with all the butter, cheese, vegetables, &c, that they require. 
 It takes considerable shrewdness to manage women in such a 
 way as to turn all their abilities to good account and to make 
 them profitable. 
 
 Let me ask the good brethren who read this to act for 
 once impartially, and try to put themselves in a woman's place; 
 and let me for their benefit draw a little picture for them to 
 contemplate. 
 
 It is evening, and the family are all assembled in their 
 pleasant home — a home made happy by the kind and thought- 
 ful care of a loving father. Peace and tranquillity dwell in 
 every heart, and the father is happy in being surrounded by 
 his children, to whom he is fondly attached. He listens to 
 the prattle of the little ones, or the music and songs of the 
 elder children ; and for a time he is forgetful of everything 
 save the happiness of the hour. 
 
 Suddenly his wife, the mother of his children, whom he 
 dearly loves, rises from her seat beside the fire and retires to 
 her own apartment. There she arranges her toilet with irre- 
 proachable care, sees that every straying curl is in its place, 
 aud gives every touch to her appearance which she thinks is 
 likely to render her attractive in the eyes of a man. She now 
 descends the stairs, ready to leave the home of this, her first 
 husband, for she is going to see her second husband, or some 
 young man to whom she has taken a fancy, and who she 
 thinks would be suitable for a third. She kisses her children 
 good-bye, and is about to take an affectionate farewell of their 
 father, when she suddenly discovers that he is not looking 
 happy. " What is the matter now ? " she says ; " is not your 
 home a pleasant one ? have I not taken pains to train your 
 children in a proper manner, and have I not remained an hour 
 longer than usual with you ? What folly it is for you to be 
 moping in this way ! this is not the way to live our reli- 
 
Domestic Arrangements of the Saints. 305 
 
 gion, if we expect to get the blessing of God. You know 
 very well it is very painful for me to leave you and rny 
 children ; but we must be obedient to the commands of God, 
 and I owe attentions to my other husband as well as to 
 you !" 
 
 Can any man be supposed who would for a moment endure 
 such an outrage upon decency aud common sense, such a viola- 
 tion of all that is sacred in the human heart ? And yet this 
 is only reversing the case ; and just as any Mormon man can 
 suppose he would feel, if the wife he loved were to act in the 
 way I have described, so do Mormon wives feel, only as much 
 more acutely, as women are more sensitive in their affections 
 than men. 
 
306 Aft Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 CHAPTER XXXIII. 
 
 LIGHTS AND SHADOWS OF POLYGAMY — MARRIAGE AND BAPTISM 
 FOR THE DEAD. 
 
 My life was now one continued series of deceptions, as was also 
 that of my husband, and we began habitually to wear the mask 
 when in each other's presence. 
 
 It may have been wrong, perhaps, but I confess that for 
 my husband's intended bride I felt such a detestation that I 
 could not endure her presence, although I knew that she was 
 not to blame. I believed that 1 should not have felt it so much 
 if she had been a little older ; but to have a mere child placed 
 on a level with me, and to be compelled to treat her with all 
 the respect due to a wife, was so terribly humiliating to me that 
 at times I thought that I could not endure it another day. She, 
 of course, expected to be treated with all the consideration 
 which is proper to a wife, and to be consulted in everything by 
 my husband, as a wife should be. She was not, however, com- 
 petent to undertake any household duties or wifely cares, and 
 was herself an additional responsibility to me. Young and in- 
 experienced as she was, she had everything to learn ; but, at 
 the same time, she stood so much upon her dignity that it was 
 anything but a pleasant task to teach her. It of course devolved 
 upon me to instruct her in everything, and I found it anything 
 but a congenial task. I soon began to look upon her simply as 
 a boarder, and expected nothing more from her than I should 
 if she had really been such. 
 
 She took very kindly to this position, and would spend her 
 days in her own room, reading and otherwise amusing herself, 
 and of course was always pleasant and well-dressed to receive 
 her husband. But this did not suit me. In fact I do not know 
 what would have suited me at that time, for I was disposed to 
 be displeased with everything. And yet a visitor to our house 
 would, I have no doubt, have said, " How very pleasantly those 
 two wives get along together ! " This has been said of scores of 
 women in Utah by casual observers — Gentiles, who thought 
 
Lights and Shadows of Polygamy. 307 
 
 they " understood " the system. How little do they know the 
 aching void and the bitter hatred which exists in the hearts of 
 those wives — the detestation which they have of one another ! 
 How little can they know, when everything is so carefully 
 hidden, even from their husbands ! It is a shameful thiug that 
 women, faithful wives and mothers, should be placed in such 
 a position. 
 
 How many times during the day have I been compelled to 
 leave everything and rush to my chamber, and there on my 
 bended knees supplicate for strength to endure, thiuking all 
 the time that, in ordaining this Revelation, God had given us a 
 burden greater than we could bear ! 
 
 Then in the evening, when we were assembled together in 
 our cosy parlour, as we were wont to be, all traces that re- 
 mained of the terrible struggle which I had endured were a 
 sad countenance and perhaps the deepening lines upon my brow, 
 which contrasted unpleasantly with the bright and cheerful 
 face of the young wife, and made my husband feel that I was 
 getting very sour in my disposition, as indeed was probably 
 the case. 
 
 Things and actions, which at another time I should have 
 considered too trifling to notice, had now a painful significance 
 to me. On one occasion, not loug after the wedding, my hus- 
 band asked me to take a walk with him, and I consented. 
 Among the Mormons it is a custom to take their wives out 
 together very frequently. Their object, I presume, is to dis- 
 play the "jewels " in their crowns before the eyes of their less 
 fortunate brethren. I had resolved that I would never sub- 
 mit to this ; if my husband would not take me out alone, I 
 would stay at home. On the occasion I mention, when I came 
 out of my room ready dressed, I found him and his wife, 
 Belinda, waiting and chatting pleasantly together, and looking 
 unutterable love at each other— -at least, so I thought — and I 
 felt greatly insulted and annoyed, and told them I did not wish 
 to go. I carefully avoided showing any outbursts of temper 
 before the young lady, which I thought would be undignified, 
 for 1 desired at least that she should respect me, though 1 did 
 not want her love. If I had expected that they would urge 
 me to accompany them, I should have been greatly mistaken, 
 for my refusal appeared to be just what they wanted. They 
 tripped off* together as light-hearted and happy as children, 
 while I remained rooted to the spot, tearing my pocket-hand- 
 kerchief to pieces, and wishing I could do the same with 
 them. 
 
3oS An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 I used sometimes to wonder whether it would be the same 
 in the Mormon heaven, where this Celestial Order of Marriage 
 is expected to be carried out in all its fullness, and I felt 
 troubled for myself. These dreadful feelings would, I believed, 
 be the ruin of my soul, and I thought it was impossible for 
 me to obtain salvation until I had entirely subdued them — and 
 that I had not power yet to do. I had, however, so concealed 
 what I felt, that my husband believed that I was becoming 
 used to this new life. 
 
 Day after day my rebellious soul was agitated by the same 
 troubled feelings. There was no rest for me — nothing upon 
 which I could stay my mind. My husband was painfully 
 aware that there was a coldness and restraint existing between 
 his young wife and myself, and I know that he was grieved by 
 it, for he had tried in every way to create a friendly feeling 
 between us. I felt, however, that it was utterly impossible 
 that I could ever be affectionate towards his other wife, much 
 as I might strive. I would do my duty, but I could not love 
 her, or, in fact, him either for that matter, when he was asso- 
 ciated with her. I regret to be obliged to confess such a 
 truth ; but from that time, and as long as I remained in Mor- 
 monism, the sentiment that was uppermost in my mind was an 
 utter detestation of the whole system. I despised myself for 
 being the abject slave that I was. Why could I not have the 
 moral courage to set everything at defiance — Revelation and 
 all — and free myself from the bondage that enthralled me ? 
 
 I know this day scores of women in Utah who think and 
 feel exactly as I did then, who suffer wrongs against which 
 their hearts daily and hourly rebel, but who, like me, dread to 
 cast aside the yoke of the oppressor. 
 
 At that time, in respect to pecuniary matters, we were very 
 comfortably off. Almost immediately after our arrival in 
 Utah, Mr. Stenhouse had found employment on the staff of 
 the Deseret Neivs. Before long he obtained the appointment 
 of postmaster for Salt Lake City, and before his marriage with 
 Miss Pratt he had started the Telegraph, the first daily paper 
 that was ever published in Utah. From the beginning it had 
 been remarkably successful; for Brigham had counselled the 
 people to sustain it, knowing very well that he himself would 
 in return be supported by my husband. Brigham had no more 
 devoted follower than Mr. Stenhouse was then, for the scales 
 had not yet fallen from his eyes, and he believed the Prophet 
 was really what he claimed to be — a faithful servant of God. 
 True, we had frequently talked together of his very mean 
 
Lights and Shadows of Polygamy. 309 
 
 actions ; but my too generous, or perhaps too credulous, 
 husband bad attributed all that to the weakuess of his human 
 nature, and would not believe that it affected his priesthood. 
 He therefore sustained him strongly and consistently before 
 the public ; uot for gain, for he had given too many instances 
 of his devotion to be suspected of that ; but I may say from 
 pure attachment, for I know too well that at that time he was 
 almost ready to lay down his life for the sake of his religion. 
 
 The Telegraph soon became the leading journal in Utah, 
 and in a little while we were surrounded by every comfort and 
 luxury which at that time could be procured in Salt Lake City. 
 No family in the Territory was better provided for than was 
 ours, not excepting Brigham Young's. I had always believed 
 that if my husband were left alone, untrammelled by the 
 Church, to make his own way. he would do so successfully. In 
 this I was not mistaken. We now owned a fine dwelling- 
 house, a valuable city lot and house, where the paper was 
 printed, and also another very desirable lot, near to Brigham 
 Young's residence. This last lot was my own ; it was very 
 beautifully situated, and we expended on it upwards of three 
 thousand dollars. Everything that my husband undertook at 
 that time seemed to prosper — not excepting his love affairs. 
 
 Just then a great deal was whispered privately about certain 
 murders which had been committed, all knowledge of which 
 was strenuously denied by the authorities. When any case 
 was so notorious that it could not possibly be altogether hushed 
 up, we were told that the murdered persons were dangerous 
 people, and had been killed in self-defence by those whom 
 they in the first instance had attacked. 
 
 My husband, like hundreds of others, was never in the confi- 
 dence of the Church authorities in these matters. lie believed 
 firmly in the divine mission of Joseph Smith, and shut his 
 eyes to. the actions of Brigham Young, thinking that he alone 
 would be responsible to the Lord for his misdeeds. When I 
 drew his attention to the inconsistency of Brighara's conduct, 
 as on more than one occasion I did, he said we had enough to 
 do to look at home and see that we ourselves did what was 
 right. This, of course, was true; but I thought, nevertheless, 
 that a little more consistency on Brigham's part would not be 
 amiss. 
 
 My talkative friend called one day to speak of a very serious 
 subject. 
 
 " I have come, Sister Stenhouse," she said, " to talk to yon 
 about a matter of great importance, but I don't want to 
 
310 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 offend you, and you must promise beforehand to forgive 
 me." 
 
 I readily promised, and she added : " I thought I should find 
 you very unhappy, Sister Stenbouse, about poor dear Carrie 
 Grant, and I think if you are so you deserve it, but I don't like 
 you to be miserable, and so I came to comfort you." 
 
 " But, Sister Ann," I said, " I don't want to be comforted 
 in the way you seem to mean. I have been very sad indeed 
 at losing Carrie ; but you know I did everything I could 
 for her, poor girl, and I have nothing to blame myself for." 
 
 " Nothing to blame yourself for ? " she exclaimed. " Why, 
 Sister Stenbouse, you have everything to blame yourself for. 
 If poor Carrie has less glory, it is all your fault." 
 
 " How so ? " I said. 
 
 " Why," she answered, " if you had not held back and ex- 
 pressed your dislike, Carrie would have married your husband, 
 and would most likely have been alive now. She would have 
 had her family, and would have added to your husband's glory ; 
 while now, although she is your husband's wife, she has no 
 children, and, of course, must have less glory in the Kingdom." 
 
 " Well, Sister Ann," I said, " I never thought of it in that 
 light. I loved Carrie very much, and I tried to make her love 
 me. It was not until almost the last that I knew of her love 
 for my husband ; but if I had known before, I am sure my 
 own heart would have rebelled against my husband taking 
 another wife. I did, however, ask him to marry her, and 
 after she was dead I was married to him for her." 
 
 " That's all very well, Sister Stenhouse," she replied, " but 
 for all that I think you have committed a great wrong against 
 that, poor orphan girl. You ought to be thankful that at last 
 you were able to repair a little of the mischief which you did. 
 I don't want to vex you, but I am really sorry that you had 
 such an antipathy to your husband having Carrie. However, 
 I suppose, now he has really got another wife, you are not so 
 much set against Polygamy. You must find it quite a bless- 
 ing to have Miss Pratt— I beg pardon, I mean Mrs. Stenhouse 
 number two — with you now." 
 
 I did not answer her, for I had my own opinion about the 
 matter. She went on without hesitation : " Well, you must 
 not be vexed with me, dear ; I say it all for your good, you 
 know ; but I do wish you felt a little more as I do about these 
 matters. Why, do you know, I have been trying to show 
 my faith and zeal in every possible way ever since we came to 
 Utah. It was only last week I was baptized for Queen Anne." 
 
Lights and Shadozvs of Polygamy. 3 1 1 
 
 " Queen Anne ! " I exclaimed. " What can you possibly- 
 
 mean 
 
 " Exactly what I say, Sister Stenhouse ; I was baptized for 
 Queen Anne, and if you like I'll tell yoii all about it. It is 
 only just what every one else has been doing, only they were 
 baptized for other people. I don't think you've ever thought 
 much of this, and so I'll explain myself. You see, Sister 
 Stenhouse, the Elders teach us tbat the whole world is lying 
 in darkness and sin, and has been so ever since the apostolic 
 gifts were lost ages ago. Now there is no salvation outside 
 the Church, and you may remember that Christ Himself went 
 and preached to the miserable souls in Paradise." 
 
 " In Paradise ? " I said, "why I thought that was a happy 
 place." 
 
 " Oh, no, Sister Stenhouse," she said, " not very happy. The 
 souls of those who have not heard the gospel, and have not 
 been baptized, go there, and it's a sort of prison for them until 
 they are brought out again through the kindness of some 
 believer. The thief on the cross went there, and Christ went 
 there and preached to the spirits in prison ; and when the 
 Elders die, they go on mission to Paradise and preach to them 
 also. All your people and my people, our fathers, and mothers, 
 and grandfathers, and so on, right up to the apostolic times, 
 are waiting in Paradise with millions and millions of souls to 
 be released and be admitted into the Celestial Kingdom. All 
 the good brethren and sisters have been doing their best to 
 get out their relations and friends, and I know rm.ny of them 
 who have sent over to England and have spent large sums of 
 money in tracing their pedigrees and genealogies, in order to 
 find out the right names and to be baptized as proxies for the 
 dead who owned those names. I have been baptized for a 
 good many of my own relations, and I mean to be baptized for 
 scores more ; and many of the brethren, too, have been married 
 as proxies for their own friends, and for distinguished people 
 besides, so that they might be admitted into the Celestial King- 
 dom, and raise up patriarchal families of their own. The poor 
 souls, if they were released from Paradise by a proxy baptism, 
 could not, of course, have been married in heaven, as there 
 is no giving in marriage there ; so some one was married for 
 them as proxy to some one else, and now they can begin to esta- 
 blish their own celestial kingdoms." 
 
 "And have you been proxy in this way, Sister Ann ? " I 
 asked. 
 
 "No, and yes," she replied ; " I haven't yet been proxy in 
 
312 An Englishwoman in Utah, 
 
 marriage for any one, but I was proxy in baptism. "When we 
 were children, I remember we used to have some rhymes about 
 Queen Anne, and, as it was my own name, I always thought a 
 great deal of her. It seemed to me that it would be very nice, 
 and at the same time very charitable, if I were to help her out 
 of Paradise. It quite struck my fancy, for it was no small 
 thing to have a real queen thankful to you for so much. So I 
 went and was baptized for her, and now she is out of Paradise 
 and has entered the Celestial Kingdom. But that isn't all. 
 There was my old friend, George Wilford, who heard all about 
 the matter, for I see him frequently, and he at once said that 
 he would be baptized for Prince George of Denmark, Queen 
 Anne's husband, and he means to do so ; and after that we'll be 
 married by proxy for them here on earth, and then they'll both 
 be happy." 
 " Why, Sister Ann, what a droll idea !" I said. 
 
 " Sister Steuhouse," she replied, quite seriously, " it's very 
 wrong of you to talk so. Some of the best Saints have stood 
 proxy in this way. There was one lady who stood proxy for 
 the Empress Josephine, and her son stood for Napoleon, and 
 some one else for Washington. Queen Elizabeth, too, has 
 been baptized by proxy. And now Napoleon and Washington 
 are both Mormon Elders, and I suppose some one will be 
 married for Queen Elizabeth, and she'll enter into Polygamy. 
 Do you know, Sister Stenhouse, there was one brother who, 
 out of pure kindness, said he would be baptized for the thief 
 on the cross, for he supposed that no one else would take pity 
 on him, and a sister who was present said she would be bap- 
 tized for his wife, if Brother Brigham thought he ever had one. 
 I've been persuading my Henry to be baptized for Henry the 
 Eighth, for I'm sure he needed baptism for the remission of 
 sins ; and he — I mean my Henry — has promised me to do so ; 
 but he says that he means to ask Brother Brigham first before 
 he is married for him — if ever he is — as King Henry was 
 almost a polygamist in his way, and my husband thinks there 
 is not much need to be married for him at all." 
 
 " I can't help being amused," I said. " Of course I have 
 often heard of being baptized for the dead, and I know the 
 Elders say that St. Paul spoke of it in one of his epistles, but 
 I never thought of it in that light ; I always thought we should 
 have to wait till the Temple was finished." 
 
 " That's true, Sister Stenhouse," she replied ; " all the 
 marriages of all the Saints — of every one, in fact, on the face 
 of the earth — ought to be solemnized in the Temple here in 
 
Lights and Shadows of Polygamy. 313 
 
 Salt Lake City, and every one ought to receive their Endow- 
 ments in it ; but as it is not yet finished, the Lord permits us 
 to be married, and everything else, in the Endowment House. 
 But you know yourself that there's a record kept, and that, 
 when the Temple is finished, the ceremony will be all gone 
 through with again. I've heard it said that many of the Elders 
 and their wives will live there, and that day and night perpe- 
 tually the ceremonies will be going on. You ought to be bap- 
 tized, however, now for as many relations as you can think of." 
 
 " I think I shall wait, Sister Ann," I said, " until I can find 
 a Queen Fanny, and then I'll be baptized for her." 
 
 She did not like me saying this, for she evidently thought I 
 was jesting. I was not jesting, however, but I felt greatly 
 amused, for this peculiar doctrine of the Saints had never 
 struck me in such an odd light before. Sister Ann was 
 shocked at the way in which I viewed her strange stories, but 
 " I'll come again in the course of a day or two, Sister Sten- 
 house," she said, " aud put you all straight." 
 
314 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 CHAPTER XXXIV. 
 
 MY DAUGHTER BECOMES THE FOURTH WIFE OF BRIGHAM 
 YOUNG'S SON THE SECOND ENDOWMENTS. 
 
 After I had consented, and in reality had given my husband 
 a second wife, my status in Mormon polygamic society was 
 very considerably improved. First wives who lived in, and 
 firmly believed, this " Order of Celestial Marriage," tried 
 in every way to make me feel that I was one with them ; 
 and those who had not much faith felt more kindly towards 
 me, because I had been caught in the same snare with them- 
 selves. 
 
 Every polygamic wife, whether first, second, third, or tenth, 
 no matter how much or how little she may believe in 
 " Celestial Marriage " — no matter how refined or how coarse 
 and degraded her nature may chance to be — must feel 
 that her position is inferior to that of a monogamic wife. 
 On this account, many of the Mormon women are never satis- 
 fied until they have drawn every woman of their acquaintance 
 down to their own level. The influence of this supposed 
 " Revelation " is by no means elevating or refining. 
 
 I was now upon an equal footing with other first wives. 
 They had, therefore, no hesitation in confiding to me their 
 griefs ; and, situated as I was, I had abundant opportunities of 
 hearing stories of cruelty, wrong, and suffering, under the 
 " Celestial " system — many of them so utterly revolting that 
 I would not dream of relating them again. Polygamy among 
 the Mormons is so full of disgusting and disgraceful details, 
 that a modest woman would not dare to relate all she knew. 
 In this book I have endeavoured to be true to my title and to 
 " tell all," as far as such a thing is possible. But there are 
 thousands of horrible incidents, which form part and parcel 
 of the system of Polygamy, but which no woman who 
 had any respect for herself would think of putting upon 
 paper. 
 
 Previous to the time when my husband took his second wife, 
 
My Daughter becomes Fourth Wife of Brighanis Son. 315 
 
 although I had learned too much, I had to a certain extent been 
 kept in the dark respecting some of the vile and loathsome 
 practices of Polygamy ; but after that, by slow degrees, I was 
 thoroughly initiated into the system. 
 
 Visitors to Utah would perhaps notice in the faces of the 
 Mormon wives a dull, careworn, weary expression, altogether 
 the reverse of that contented look which is seen among 
 " Gentile " women. But those very women would never dis- 
 close to the stranger the depth of that sorrow which is wearing 
 away their lives. Some few, indeed, have been led to speak 
 of their troubles ; but they have afterwards found that the 
 very persons in whom they confided most distorted and exag- 
 gerated every word that they had uttered, for the sake of 
 making a good story for the press. In many cases the names 
 of those who were thoughtless enough to expose their sorrows, 
 together with little personal matters which should never have 
 been made public, were put into print ; and when the matter 
 came before the Church authorities, as in course of time it 
 was certain to do, there was a great deal of trouble and 
 unpleasantness. Women, consequently, as a rule, tell nothing ; 
 and book-makers and people connected with the press, while 
 they give to the world astonishing stories of what they have 
 heard, know really nothing of the truth. When a smart man, 
 or a mau connected with the press, comes to Utah, the Church 
 authorities take him in hand at once. He is carried here and 
 there, and treated with the utmost deference ; a pair of Mor- 
 mon spectacles is placed by Brigham, or one of his numerous 
 factotums, upon the visitor's eyes, and through them he looks 
 at all that trauspires. Then comes a glowing account in the 
 papers, or else apocryphal stories appear in the visitor's last 
 new book ; and unsophisticated people, who innocently sup- 
 pose that all that is in print must be true, begin to think that 
 the stories, of the evil-doing of the Prophet, which from time 
 to time have crept out, were only scandalous reports,. and that 
 Brigham Young — like somebody else who shall be name- 
 less ! — was, after all, not quite so black as he has been 
 painted. 
 
 A gentleman, who had for five years resided in Salt Lake 
 City, said to me a few months ago : " Mrs. Stenhouse, when I 
 had been here about three weeks, I thought thai 1 knew enough 
 of MorinoiiiMn to write a book ; when 1 had been here three 
 months, i began to think that 1 did not know quite as much ; 
 and now, after five years, I have come to the conclusion thai 1 
 really know nothing at all. I have lived in a Mormon family 
 
$16 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 for the past year, but that has not increased ray knowledge. 
 They are constantly upon their guard. They treat me kindly, 
 but they never let me know anything." 
 
 This, I believe, has been the experience of nearly all the 
 Gentiles resident in Salt Lake City. Gentlemen had no chance 
 of learning anything, and the opportunities of ladies were only 
 a trifle better. 
 
 Up to this time I had said very little to my children about 
 my doubts and fears. With the exception of my daughter 
 Clara, they were all too young. Clara was just budding into 
 womanhood, and day by day gave promise of more beauty and 
 interest in her future life. I dreaded to cast a cloud across 
 her way by telling her of my own apprehensions in respect 
 to Polygamy. If that were the " Order " of " Heaven," she 
 would certainly have to live in it ; and in any case it was the 
 " order " of Brigham Young, and my child could not escape 
 from it. 
 
 We had lived together in Polygamy about a year, when my 
 husband told me that his young wife desired to have a home 
 of her own, and that he intended to provide her with one. 
 This was very pleasant intelligence to me ; for the sight of that 
 other wife constantly before ray eyes, sitting at my table, in the 
 midst of my family, walking in the garden with my husband in 
 the evening, or tete-a-tete with him in the parlour, was more 
 than I could bear. I began to feel, whether justly or not, tbat 
 my presence was a restraint to them, and that they felt 
 annoyed when I was with them. This feeling was so 
 strong with me that I constantly avoided them, and I finally 
 concluded to spend the evenings in my own room with my 
 children, for, being out of their presence, I should perhaps be at 
 peace. 
 
 This, however, was all changed when my husband established 
 a second home. I did not mind being deprived of his society 
 so long as I could get rid of her: her presence was painful to 
 me, and when she was near me I hardly felt able to breathe. 
 
 Just at that time the marriage of my daughter Clara first 
 began to be talked about seriously. One day my husband being 
 out driving with Joseph A. Young, the eldest son of the Prophet, 
 the subject was discussed between them, and Joseph A. made 
 a proposition of marriage. This, to me, was the cause of con- 
 siderable uneasiness, as Joseph A. was a Polygamist, and at first 
 I altogether refused to listen to the suggestion. At that time 
 Clara was not fifteen years of age, and not only did I consider her 
 altogether too young to think of marriage, but I was shocked 
 
My Daughter becomes Fourth Wife of Brigliauis Son. 317 
 
 at the bare idea of her becoming a polygamic wife. I almost 
 hated Joseph for asking for her. 
 
 Personally I had no objection to Clara's lover. I had known 
 him for several years. He was au intelligent, generous-hearted, 
 and handsome man, of very good standing among the Saints, 
 and wealthy. As a friend, I valued and esteemed him ; but 
 that he, a poly gam is t, should wish to marry my darling daughter, 
 was very repugnant to my feelings. Clara was then growing 
 old enough to understand my more serious thoughts and sen- 
 timents, and her companionship was very precious to me. The 
 thought of her marrying into Polygamy was to my mind 
 almost as painful as the thought of her death would have 
 been. 
 
 My husband agreed with me that she was too young to 
 marry ; but on that point lie could not offer any great objection, 
 as his own wife, although very womanly in appearance, was but 
 very little older in years. I told Joseph A. of my reluctauce to 
 the proposed marriage, and he fully entered into my feelings. 
 I could not absolutely refuse him, but I wished to gain time. 
 Every day found me more and more weak in the faith, and I 
 thought that, if I could only postpone my Clara's marriage for 
 a few years, something might transpire which would relieve me 
 of my difficulty. 
 
 Joseph promised to wait just as long as we thought proper, 
 if only we would allow him to speak to Clara and explain to 
 her the sentiments with which he regarded her. In this he 
 acted in a way very unlike the Mormon men generally, and I 
 respected him accordingly. I promised him that I would not 
 influence my daughter, but would let her decide for herself. 
 This, after much careful consideration, I came to the conclu- 
 sion was all that I could do. My mind at that time was in a 
 very troubled state. Day by day my doubts respecting the 
 plural wife system became stronger and stronger, and I felt 
 that before very long some great change must take place, both 
 in my fate and in my life. At the same time, outward cir- 
 cumstances gave no promise of any such change. My husband 
 gave no signs of apostasy, and, as a Saint, I knew he would 
 never think of undertaking anything without the permission of 
 Brother Brigham. We did not even dare to leave the city 
 without consulting the Prophet. In times, then very recent, 
 it was at the risk, and sometimes, indeed, at the sacrifice of life, 
 that any one left Salt Lake Valley without permission; and even 
 at the present moment no good Saint who values his standing 
 iu the Church would dream of going Ea^t without first obtain- 
 
3 18 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 ing the approval of Brigham Young. I could not, therefore, 
 at the time of which I write, foresee the great changes which 
 have since taken place. To refuse my daughter to the Pro- 
 phet's son would, I knew, be utterly useless. By partial sub- 
 mission I might gain some advantages ; and the longer I post- 
 poned the marriage, the greater chance there was that " some- 
 thing " might turn up, which we all more or less look for when 
 we are placed in circumstances which admit of the exercise of 
 very little choice or effort. 
 
 My only objection against Joseph A. was, as I just stated, 
 tbat he was a polygamist ; but so long as we remained in the 
 Church I could not openly allege this in opposition to the 
 proposed marriage. If my Clara married a single man, there 
 was every chance, if not an absolute certainty, that after a 
 while he would take another wife, or wives. This had been 
 the case with other girls with whom my child was acquainted. 
 They had married single men, trusting that their influence over 
 them would be sufficient to retain their affections ever to them- 
 selves alone ; but they had soon reason to see how groundless 
 their expectations and hopes had been. If, on the other hand, 
 I gave my daughter to a polygamist, there was certainly no 
 reason why Joseph A. should be refused. I felt surrounded on 
 every side by difficulties, and out of them all I endeavoured to 
 choose the least. 
 
 One day my husband told me that Brigham Young had 
 seriously spoken to him about the matter, and had " counselled " 
 him to let the marriage take place at once, saying that my 
 Clara was quite old enough. After this, objection on my part 
 would have been utterly unavailing. Everything was settled 
 at t\\& fiat of Brigham ; and the feelings and judgment of a 
 father and mother in respect of their own daughter were, of 
 course, of not the slightest consequence. 
 
 The wedding-day was therefore fixed, when the sweet flower 
 of my own quiet garden was to be transplanted to another 
 home. 
 
 We went to the Endowment House — my husband, myself, 
 and our daughter, together with some friends of the family. 
 There we met with Joseph A. Young, the expectant bride- 
 groom ; his father, Brigham Young ; Joseph A.'s first wife, 
 Mary Young ; and several of the brethren. The bride and 
 bridegroom, and the bridegroom's first wife, were all dressed 
 in their Temple robes. We then entered a small room where 
 the altar, of which I have already spoken, is placed. At the 
 end of the altar, Brigham was seated in a large arm-chair 
 
My Daughter becomes Fourth Wife of BrigJiavis Son. 319 
 
 covered with crimson velvet. The altar was also crimson. 
 Brigham officiated. Joseph A.'s first wife, Mary Young, knelt 
 in front of the long crimson altar ; and my daughter Clara 
 knelt beside her on a sort of faldstool or ledge, arranged for 
 that purpose. Behind the altar knelt Joseph A. Brigham 
 said : " Joseph, are you willing to take Clara Stenhouse to be 
 your lawful and wedded wife for time and for all eternity ? " 
 Joseph answered, "Yes." Then Joseph's first wife was told 
 to place the right hand of my daughter in the right hand of 
 her husband, in token that she was willing ; and then Clara 
 was questioned, as Joseph had been. When she replied in the 
 affirmative, Brigham said, " I pronounce you man and wife in 
 the name of the Lord. Amen." They were now married ; 
 and Brigham Young, Joseph A.'s first wife, and a few other 
 friends, came home to the wedding breakfast, after which my 
 daughter went to her own pleasant home. 
 
 Thus my worst fears were realized. My own daughter had 
 become a polygamic wife ; she was the fourth wife of her 
 husband, Joseph A. Young. 
 
 It is a source of sorrow to any mother who really loves her 
 children to lose them, even if it be for their own good and 
 happiness ; but in my own case there were reasons why I felt 
 the loss of my daughter more than I should have done under 
 ordinary circumstances. I felt quite desolate without her; for 
 when left all alone, when my husband took his second wife, 
 and when I had no one else to turn to, my little daughter had 
 entwined herself about my heart in a thousand sweet and 
 loving ways. She knew how great an influence music had 
 over me, and how much I loved to hear her play aud sing ; 
 and when she saw how sad my heart was, or caught me in 
 tears, she would go to her piano, and lure me to her side by 
 some sweet song which she knew was dear to my memory. 
 But with her went all that love and gentleness which in my 
 time of deepest trouble sustained me aud kept me from abso- 
 lute despair. 
 
 I have often wondered whether Joseph ever realized how 
 great, how dear a gift, I bestowed upon him when I gave him 
 my little Clara. But in saying this I do not mean to cast the 
 shadow of a doubt upon his true-heartedness and love towards 
 her. lie was always kind aud thoughtful, considering her 
 comfort in everything ; and although they have now been 
 married seven years, he has never changed, but is the same to 
 her as on the first day of their marriage. A good, kind, and 
 gentle husband he has ever been, anticipating her every wish, 
 
320 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 tenderly and carefully guarding her from even a painful thought. 
 My only regret has been that he is a polygamist, and she a 
 polygamic wife. 
 
 Not long after this, my husband one day told me that a select 
 few had been chosen to receive their Second Endowments, and 
 that we were to be honoured with the same privilege. This I 
 was told was one of the highest honours that could be conferred 
 upon us, as the Second Endowments had never been given to 
 any one since the Mormons left Nauvoo. 
 
 The glory of this privilege I did not myself, however, feel ; 
 and, notwithstanding any respect which might be intended by 
 our names being added to the list of chosen ones, I refused to 
 see the slightest good in the whole affair. I am afraid I was 
 naturally perverse — or was it that the light was now begin- 
 ning to dawn more clearly upon my mind ? I know not. But 
 I raised every possible objection, feeling, though I did, that all 
 opposition on my part was useless. I knew that I should have 
 to go, but I felt a dismal satisfaction in letting every one know 
 how much I hated the system. 
 
 "Our " second wife — I say " our," because I had been taught 
 that my husband and myself were indissolubly one, even in 
 the matter of taking wives — " our " second wife seemed the 
 happiest of us all when the day arrived, and I believe she 
 considered that we were very highly favoured. After prepar- 
 ing our Temple robes, we started for the Endowment House. 
 The reluctance which I felt caused me to lag behind, and I 
 was gently reminded several times that I was making myself 
 very disagreeable. I did not, however, feel much remorse, for 
 my husband had still one good, obedient wife walking at his 
 side, who I knew would sympathize with him ; and that, as 
 every one is aware, is 'more than falls to the lot of every 
 man. 
 
 When we reached the Endowment House, we ladies were 
 shown into one room and our husband into another. We then 
 proceeded to array ourselves in our robes, caps, and aprons — 
 the same as when we received our first Endowments — and 
 when all was ready we were ushered into another room by one 
 of the brethren, who was also dressed in his Temple robes. 
 There we met our husband and several other brethren, all 
 dressed in the same way. We sat down, and oil was then 
 poured upon the head of our husband by two of the brethren 
 — Daniel H. Wells and another — and he was then ordained a 
 King and Priest to all eternity. After that, we two wives 
 were anointed in like manner, and ordained Queens and 
 
My Daughter becomes Fourth Wife of Brighanis Son. 321 
 
 Priestesses, to reign arid rule with our husband over his king- 
 dom in the celestial world. 
 
 Had I ever solaced myself with the notion, which some 
 Mormon women entertain, that first wives are queens over ali 
 the rest, I should have been sadly disappointed when I heard 
 " our " second wife ordained to the same high office as myself. 
 As it was, however, my faith was so small that I should have 
 been quite contented had they consecrated her alone queen for 
 Eternity, so long as they would have allowed me to rule and 
 reign by myself in my own home for Time. 
 
 The ceremony did not last long ; but it all appeared to me 
 such folly that I was anxious to leave the place, and, though 
 I dared not say so, I was truly ashamed to be seen coming 
 out of the House. While going through these Endowments 
 I was filled with a thorough contempt for everybody and 
 everything around me, and I suppose that my feelings were 
 visible upon my countenance; for, after leaving the House, I 
 remember the Apostle John Taylor asking me if I did not feel 
 well, and I told him as plainly as I dared what really was the 
 matter. He spoke to me very kindly, and tried to re-assure 
 me; but the scales were now falling from my eyes, and all his 
 arguments availed nothing. 
 
 Notwithstanding all this, I was not ready yet to cast off the 
 yoke, and a few months after our Second Endowments I again 
 gave evidence of my faith. An event occurred in the other 
 branch. of my husband's family which produced a strong im- 
 pression upon my mind — a little daughter was presented to 
 him by his second wife. I was, of course, expected to go and 
 visit the young mother and child, and I thought I could never 
 bring my mind to do that. 
 
 It would be impossible for me to define my feelings at that 
 time — loathing and hatred for him and for her, and even for 
 the poor innocent babe, on the one side ; and, on the other, 
 thoughts of what I considered was my duty towards God, my 
 husband, and his other lawful wife. I was bewildered. My 
 heart said, Do not go ; but my conscience said, Jt is your duty 
 to treat her kindly, for she believes she has done you no 
 wrong. Then I thought, She is a young mother, and, with- 
 out you frowning upon her, sorrow will come swiftly enough 
 to her door. 
 
 I saw that my husband was troubled as to what my feelings 
 might be, although he had not had courage to tell me himself 
 of the interesting event. Pie was afraid of paining me, and 
 6ent a lady friend with the intelligence. I spoke to him 
 
 x 
 
322 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 myself, and told him that I would go and see Belinda and her 
 child. He thanked me, and said, " God bless you for that." 
 Then I went to see her ; but I was thankful when the visit 
 was over; and although I went again many times, and tried my 
 very best to treat her kindly and even affectionately, I could 
 never get over the painful feelings which agitated my mind 
 when in her presence. 
 
ORSON ritATT, 
 
 The Mormon Philosopher. 
 Born in 1811. 
 
323 
 
 CHAPTER XXXV. 
 
 REALITIES OF POLYGAMIC LIFE ORSON PRATT : THE STORY 
 
 OF HIS YOUNG ENGLISH WIFE. 
 
 The position of the plural wives — second, third, fourth, or 
 twentieth, it matters not — is but a mockery, after all ; and in 
 many respects they are more to be pitied than the first wives. 
 The first wives have known, if only for a little while, a hus- 
 band's love and care ; but that has never been felt by the 
 second wives. They are, in fact, in many respects little 
 better than slaves ; and if they are sensitive girls, their posi- 
 tion must be extremely painful, for they must realize at all 
 times that they are receiving the attentions of another 
 woman's husband ; and in many instances they are even 
 afraid to be seen speaking to their husband for fear of bring- 
 ing down the wrath of the first wife upon their heads. 
 Others, who are not so sensitive, assert their own rights and 
 are defiant. 
 
 I am well acquainted with a pretty young Welsh girl who 
 was a second wife. Her husband had converted her to Mor- 
 monism while he was on a mission to Europe, and when they 
 reached Salt Lake he married her. I saw her first two years 
 after her marriage, when one day she came to me in the great- 
 est distress. She asked me if I would give her some employ- 
 ment, and,, greatly surprised at the request, I asked her how 
 she came to need anything to do, as I knew her husband could 
 well afford to support her. 
 
 " I have left my husband," she answered, " for I could stand 
 no longer the ill-treatment that I received. I endured it 
 until, as you see, my health is failing and I am broken-hearted. 
 The creature I married has no manhood in him. He has 
 allowed me to be treated like a slave, and has himself half- 
 starved me, and has acted towards me with the greatest in- 
 humanity. When I married him," she said, "I was willing to 
 make myself useful in the family, and I did so. But one thing 
 after another was given me to do, until I became a regular 
 
 y 2 
 
324 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 drudge; they would not have dared to treat a hired girl iu the 
 way they treated me. I was put into a miserable little back 
 room, and was never allowed to see any of my friends ; I had 
 to work early and late. When at last my position would not 
 admit of my working quite so much, they punished me with 
 all sorts of petty unkindnesses, and nearly starved me, giving 
 me only a little flour or a few potatoes every day. 
 
 " At last," she continued, " I went to Brother Brigham to 
 know what I should do. He sent for my husband and talked 
 to him a long time, and he promised to do better if I would 
 go back with him. Brother Brigham counselled me to do 
 so, and try him again ; and I went. Soon after that, my 
 babe was born, and then they treated me with worse un- 
 kindness." 
 
 " Who do you mean by they ? " I asked. 
 
 " I mean my husband and his wife," she replied. " They 
 did not seem to look upon me as a wife at all, and even in the 
 coldest mornings, and immediately after my child was born, 
 they used to make me get up first aud light fires and pre- 
 pare breakfast and begin work generally, aud I was only too 
 glad if I escaped with a little fault-finding. I stood it as 
 long as I could, because Brother Brigham had counselled 
 me to do so ; but now I have left them again, and do not 
 mean to return." This was the story of one poor girl's 
 troubles. 
 
 Now the man, Elder Jos. Bull, who did this is a good Mor- 
 mon, in good standing iu the Church to-day. He is employed 
 by the authorities, and his poor young wife is now working 
 for the Gentiles — a much happier woman, if her face speaks 
 truly, since her separation, although she has to support herself 
 and child. She, like hundreds of other young girls, came to 
 Utah without friend or relative, and this is how a good brother 
 " took care " of her. 
 
 But I must be permitted to relate a still more painful story 
 — the story of a poor innocent girl allured from her happy 
 home in England by one of the most distinguished of the 
 Mormon Apostles ; brought over by him to Utah as his wife, 
 and there suffered to die in misery and neglect. 
 
 The Apostle Orson Pratt, who is called among the Saints 
 " The Champion of Polygamy " — a man who has devoted his 
 life to Mormonism, and whose writings have done more than 
 the labours of all the other Apostles to win converts to Poly- 
 gamy ; a man who on more than one occasion has boldly stood 
 up against many of the absurdities and blasphemies of Brig- 
 
Realities of Polyga in ic L ife. 325 
 
 bam Young ; a man upon whom, on account of his indepen- 
 dence, Brigham has frowned, and who has consequently never 
 attained to the wealth of his more obsequious brethren ; a 
 man who in all the ordinary affairs of life would command the 
 respect of every one around him. This was the man who per- 
 petrated the atrocious villainy which I am about to relate ; 
 and much against my own personal inclinations I feel com- 
 pelled to tell the story, as it shows how shockingly this 
 debasing system cau pervert an otherwise upright mind. 
 
 Orson Pratt married the young girl of whom I speak in 
 Liverpool, by special dispensation from Brigham Young ; and 
 her parents — themselves devout Mormons — thought that 
 their daughter was highly honoured in becoming the wife of 
 an Apostle. She was very pretty and attractive, and for a time 
 he paid great attention to her, and brought her over to Utah 
 as his bride. Arrived there, he utterly neglected her, and she 
 experienced all the horrors of polygamic life. 
 
 The Apostle was living in Salt Lake City. He had left his 
 young wife and her children in Tooele — a place about forty 
 miles distant. There they lived in a wretched little log-cabin, 
 the young mother supporting her little ones as best she could. 
 When her last child was born, 6he was suffering all the 
 miseries of poverty, dependent entirely upon the charity of 
 her neighbours. At the time when most she needed the gentle 
 sympathy of her husband's love, that husband never came to 
 see her. 
 
 One morning there was literally nothing in the house for 
 herself and her children, who, knowing nothing of their 
 mother's sufferings, cried to her for bread. 
 
 The poor mother quieted them with a promise that they 
 should soon have something to eat, and then she went and 
 begged a few potatoes from a neighbour ; and upon these they 
 subsisted . for three days. She then took her children with 
 her, for they were too young to be left alone — her babe was 
 only three weeks old — and she went round to see if she could 
 get work of any kind to do. In this she was not successful ; 
 and at length, worn out by continual anxiety and privation, 
 and heart-broken by the neglect which she had experienced, 
 she sank beneath a fever which promised very soon to prove 
 fatal. 
 
 For some time the neighbours nursed her ; but they, of 
 course, had their own families to attend to, and could not give 
 her quite all their time, and thus occasionally she was left 
 alone. One evening, when such was the case, she got up in a 
 
326 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 state of delirium, and barefooted, and almost destitute ot 
 clothing, took her children, and wandered forth with them 
 into the snow. The good people of Tooele went out over the 
 prairie, anxious to find and bring back the poor maniac, but 
 for a long time their search was in vain. At last, not know- 
 ing whither she went, she wandered to the house of Brother 
 Eli B. Kelsey — a " vile apostate " as Brigham Young would 
 call him ; but known to every one else, Saint, Apostate, or 
 Gentile, as one of the best and kindest-hearted men that ever 
 lived. In Brother Kelsey's house she and her little ones were 
 kindly received by him and his good wife, and their wants 
 attended to. They were clothed and fed, and were then car- 
 ried back to the log-cabin which they called their home. 
 
 Next day the Mormon Bishop of Tooele assembled the 
 people, and money was collected and sent to Salt Lake City, 
 to Orson Pratt, begging him to come immediately, if he wished 
 to see his wife alive. But the Apostle did not come. At 
 that time he was actually engaged in taking another bride, 
 and he wanted to hear nothing of his dying wife. 
 
 Then the good Bishop sent a young man, who rode all 
 night, to compel him immediately to take the coach for 
 Tooele — the young man paying his fare, so that he might have 
 no excuse. Then, at last., he came. 
 
 Arrived at the little town where his poor wife lay dying, 
 Orson conducted himself like the philosopher he professes to 
 be. Before him stood the hovel, within which were his 
 deserted little ones — wailing, as if sensible of the great loss 
 of a mother's care which they would soon have to sustain — 
 and there, on her dying bed, was that poor wife and mother, 
 tossing in wild delirium. , But he, the cause of all that woe, 
 passed by that wretched hovel and its death-scene to the com- 
 fortable home of a well-to-do brother, at whose house he first 
 obtained his supper, and then, calmly returning, entered the 
 place where his wife was lying, and for a moment surveyed 
 the scene. Then he quietly remarked to one of the sisters 
 present : " She has a good deal of fever." 
 
 Another sister, who stood by, impulsively exclaimed, " Good 
 God ! Brother Pratt, this is more than fever ; she is dying." 
 
 " Oh dear no, sister," he calmly replied ; " she will re- 
 cover." 
 
 It was evident, however, to all but Orson that his wife was 
 dying, and that no earthly power could save her. 
 
 The next day she was still raving, and it was told me that 
 in her wild frenzy she even attempted to strangle her babe. 
 
iij ii'H!ll!|ll I."; 1 , l!i!| Mill' vm 
 
 
Realities of Polygamic Life. 327 
 
 Orson essayed to hold her, but she caught his gold chain and 
 snapped it in two. His touch and the sight of the chain 
 recalled her for a moment to her senses, and she said reproach- 
 fully, " You are puffed up with pride, Orson, with your gold 
 chain and rings, while you leave me and my babes to starve. 
 Poor little lambs ! where are they ? " 
 
 For a moment the yearning of a mother's heart for her 
 children conquered the fever that tortured her mind, and she 
 listened to her husband's attempted words of comfort, as he 
 said, "I am with you now, Eliza, and I will take care of you." 
 
 Steadily, for a moment, she looked up into his face, and, with 
 tears in her eyes, said mournfully : " It is too late, Orson — it 
 is too late!" 
 
 These were the last sane words which she uttered in this 
 life, although she still lingered on insensible. 
 
 The next morning the Apostle Pratt resolved to leave for 
 Salt Lake City and his young bride. The Bishop, however, 
 cailed a council and summoned him to remain until his wife 
 was dead. Nevertheless he did not Avish to stay, and, being 
 an Apostle, he overruled the council. At the last moment 
 before his intended departure, one of the sisters said : " Brother 
 Pratt, should she die, what shall we do with her ? " 
 
 " Oh, she won't die," he replied. 
 
 " But should she ? " the sister urged. 
 
 " Then bury her with her children," he answered. 
 
 After much solicitation, he was prevailed upon to remain for 
 a few hours, and the next morning his wife died. The lan- 
 guage of her last moments, as she raved and tossed in mad 
 delirium, showed how terrible had been her mental agony, and 
 how much she had suffered from this frightful system. 
 
 But one might easily fill a large volume with stories quite 
 as cruel as this. It is simply absurd to expect that it should 
 be otherwise. Men and women can train and discipline their 
 minds, they can crush out the affections of their hearts if they 
 will ; but no effort of man can change man's nature entirely, 
 or root out altogether humanity from the soul. Women may 
 endure, as that poor woman did whose story I have just related, 
 but they never can get perfectly adapted to the system of 
 " Celestial Marriage." The nearer they approach to its require- 
 ments, the further they recede from all that is held good and 
 noble in womanhood ; and as for the men, they are brutalized 
 by every effort which they make to conform to it. 
 
 During the summer, about three years ago, a young-looking 
 woman, very shabbily dressed, came frequently to my house 
 
328 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 with heavy baskets of fruit, which she entreated me to buy. 
 One day she said : " You do not remember me, Sister Steu- 
 house, I think, and I do not wonder, for I am so changed. I 
 have to work very hard now, for all I have to live upon is 
 what I can make by selling fruit, or any little work that I can 
 get my neighbours to give me to do ; and if my husband could 
 prevent even that, I believe he would. I am obliged to 
 gather my fruit at night and hide it from him, and that is why 
 I urged you so to buy, for I never know when I may meet 
 him." 
 
 I was very much surprised at this, as her husband, I knew, 
 was getting a good salary, and appeared to be a most gentle- 
 manly man. His first wife, I was aware, had left him, it was 
 said, on account of cruelty and neglect, and he had married 
 this one just after her arrival from England. I had every 
 reason to believe that she had been a good wife to him, and a 
 mother to his motherless children ; but he had taken another 
 wife since he married her, and had cruelly neglected this poor 
 woman, leaving her his first wife's children to take care of. 
 She said that he was again paying his addresses to another 
 still, and she expected that he would soon marry her. And 
 yet this woman [his second wife] told me that all he had left 
 for her and the children to live on was a sack of bran and 
 about fifty pounds of corn meal. Everything else had been 
 taken to the third wife, even to the best articles of furni- 
 ture. 
 
 She said : " One evening I had been sitting in the porch in 
 my rocking-chair, when he came in and remained about an 
 hour. As soon as he left, I went out to bring in the chair, 
 and was just in time to see him carrying it off. I knew where 
 he was going with it." I saw this poor woman frequently, and 
 bought her fruit often when I did not need it, for it grieved 
 me to see her carrying such heavy loads in her then delicate 
 situation. After a time I lost sight of her, and then I heard 
 that she was dead. One day her own daughter — for she was 
 a widow when she married this man — came to me before leav- 
 ing the city. " I am going away to some friends," she said, 
 " for I will never live near that man ; he killed my mother ; 
 he kicked her so severely that she never recovered, and when 
 her child was born, they both died from the effects of the blows 
 which she had received — and I hate him." 
 
 The first wife of " Brig." Hampton, one of the Mormon 
 authorities, told me how her husband whipped her because she 
 would not consent to his stripping their home of everything 
 
Realities of Polyga m ic L ife. 329 
 
 that was either useful or handsome in order to furnish a house 
 for his second wife. Finally, he shut her up while he took 
 her entire parlour furniture away. She was a fragile little 
 woman, and perfectly helpless when in the power of a strong 
 man, and therefore was forced to submit, as there was no 
 appeal to law in Utah. 
 
 It is a very difficult thing for a woman, after listening, day 
 after day, to such tales of woe and misery, and knowing them 
 to be true, to retain any respect for a polygamist, whoever he 
 may be. For my own part I regard them all with such feelings 
 of loathing that I can hardly speak civilly of them, and would 
 prefer never to speak to them. I know scores of ladies — ■ 
 married ladies — Mormon ladies, who in secret feel and speak 
 just as I do upon this subject. 
 
 For many years past the American Elders have derived a 
 rich harvest from Britain and Scandinavia. After the intro- 
 duction of Polygamy, an Elder was seldom known to return 
 from Mission without bringing with him one, two, and some- 
 times three young girls, or else arranging in some way for 
 their emigration. The Missionaries, however, preferred, when- 
 ever it was possible, to bring the girls with them ; for if they 
 trusted them to the care of a brother returning before or after, he 
 very frequently turned traitor, and carried off the prize himself. 
 
 The Elders were not permitted to marry these extra wives 
 while on or returning from a mission, unless they had special 
 permission from Brigham Young. But quite a number of the 
 poor weak brethren were so impulsive and so anxious to be 
 married, that tliey could not wait for the ceremonies of the 
 Endowment House. One conscientious Swiss brother, named 
 Loba, who could find no one willing to take the responsibility 
 of marrying him while crossing the Plains, said that as lie was 
 an Elder he could just as well marry himself, and be under no 
 obligation to anybody; and he did so. He had fallen in love with 
 a little miss — a mere child, about one quarter of his own age. 
 
 Many men have married wives, and have brought them 
 home, before their first wives knew even that they were in 
 love. They had not had courage to introduce the subject, 
 but believed that when the wife found that it was done, and 
 could not be undone, she would see the uselessness of feel- 
 ing badly, and would soon get over it. But no wife who 
 has been thus treated ever did " get over it." What can a 
 man know of woman's nature who would dare to act thus 
 towards her, and think that she would become reconciled to 
 such treatment ? 
 
330 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 What strange ideas theMormon men must have of woman's 
 nature if they believe that women can submit to such treatment 
 as this and still love them ! What folly to think even of love ! 
 
 It would be very wrong for me to say that there are no 
 men who try to be just in the practice of Polygamy, for I know 
 many who try their very best to act impartially to all their 
 wives ; but this is not really the result of their religion, about 
 which some of these men appear to care very little. I feel 
 sure that if they are good men, notwithstanding the evil effects 
 of Mormonism upon them, they would have been much better 
 men without it. 
 
 On the other hand, I have known men who, before they 
 became Mormons, were reputed good husbands and fathers, 
 but who afterwards became cold and harsh in their natures, 
 cruel to their wives, and neglectful to their children. It 
 seemed as if they thought of nothing else but courting the 
 girls and taking more wives, altogether regardless as to whether 
 they could support them or not. 
 
 Some of the Elders, finding that they might not marry plural 
 wives before they reached Utah, have bound the girls by 
 solemn vows and covenants to marry them when they arrived 
 in Salt Lake Valley ; and the poor girls, believing that, 
 because these men were Missionaries, all they said and did 
 must be right, have often — in fact, in almost every instance — 
 to their own great injury, kept their " covenants " and married 
 the men to whom they were vowed. I have known personally 
 and intimately several women who have in this way ruined 
 their prospects and blighted the hopes of their whole lives, 
 and sadder s-tories than theirs could not be told. 
 
 My husband had again left Salt Lake City, and had gone 
 to " the States," as we then called " going East ;" for it was 
 such a long journey that we felt ourselves altogether out of 
 the pale of civilization. I felt, therefore, comparatively free ; 
 for I could now, whenever I desired to do so, walk out, or visit 
 a friend, without the constant dread of meeting him and his 
 wife. It always humiliated me to see them together, although 
 I believed that it was perfectly right that my husband should 
 show attentions to his other wife. It was not now jealousy 
 that I felt — the day of jealous feeling was long past. I felt 
 disgusted, and I was humbled at the sight of them. At one 
 time, for nearly six months, I remained at home, never going 
 further than my own garden, simply for the reason that I 
 feared to meet her in the presence of any of my friends — 
 particularly any of my Gentile friends; or worse still, with him. 
 
W 
 
 CHAPTER XXXVI. 
 
 "OUR" HUSBAND'S FIANCEE — A SECOND WIFE'S SORROWS — 
 STEPS TOWARDS APOSTASY. 
 
 At one time I had almost begun to think that my husband 
 had seen enough of the discomforts and heartlessuess of poly- 
 gamic life, and that his eyes were looking back wishfully to 
 the time when, as the old Scotch ballad says : 
 
 " One loving heart was all his own, 
 But tbere as king he reign'd supreme." 
 
 My faith in my own acuteness and perception was, however, 
 very considerably shaken when one day he told me that he 
 thought it was about time for him to think of taking another 
 wife. I suppose he expected that I should express some 
 astonishment or offer objections, for he proceeded to give me 
 excellent reasons for what he was about to do. His greatly 
 improved circumstances ; his desire to sustain his brethren ; 
 and, above all, the necessity that he should " build up a king- 
 dom ! " 
 
 There was no gainsaying all this. The Lord had certainly 
 very greatly blessed him in basket and in store ; it was, more- 
 over, praiseworthy in him to wish to sustain his brethren; and 
 nobody could deny that he ought to have a "kingdom ! " To 
 crown all, the young lady whom he proposed to honour this 
 time could not possibly be objected to by any loyal Saint, for 
 she was of the seed royal of the modern Israel — a daughter of 
 the high-priestly house of Biigham Young ! 
 
 I suppose, if I had been a right-minded woman, I should 
 have felt the great glory that there was in the proposed alliance. 
 But, in point of fact, such is the perversity of human nature, 
 I did not feel at all pleased, although I could say nothing in 
 objection. I had had some slight suspicion that my husband's 
 eyes, to say nothing of his heart, had lately been inclined to 
 wander in a certain direction, for he had become so particu- 
 larly regular in his attendance at the theatre. I mentioned the 
 
$j2 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 matter to him once or twice, but he answered that as an 
 editor it was a matter of necessity for him to attend, and that 
 he ought to be there always. This I might, perliaps, have 
 believed, had it not been that it was now several years since 
 his paper was first established, and hitherto his personal 
 attendance at every representation had not been considered 
 absolutely indispensable. Keporters had been able to do all that 
 was necessarv. 
 
 His proposal to marry this young lady, now it was openly 
 stated, shed light upon many things which had before appeared 
 to me rather obscure. Her name was Zina, and she was the 
 daughter of Mrs. Zina D. Huntington Jacobs, whom I have 
 already mentioned as one of the Prophet's wives. She was 
 one of the actresses in the theatre — for many of Brighanrs 
 daughters at that time took part in the representations — and I 
 had frequently observed very pretty little notices of her in the 
 Salt Lake Daily Telegraph. 
 
 I did not much care now how many wives my husband took 
 — he might as well have twenty, as the one too many -which 
 he already had — his marriage to another could not possibly 
 make me feel any worse, provided I was not compelled to 
 associate with her. I had resolved that I would never live on 
 familiar terms with his other wives — not because I might dis- 
 respect or dislike them personally, but because I could not 
 overcome the purer and better teachings of my early life. 
 
 My husband in due form proposed, and was accepted ; and 
 it was soon rumoured abroad that he was going to many one 
 of the " President's " daughters — Brigliam is always spoken 
 of as "President" Young among the Saints. In the course 
 of a day or two they were, formally "engaged," and a more 
 loving couple could not possibly have been found. The young 
 lady herself afterwards told me that their love was of no 
 ordinary kind, and I'm sure I did not doubt her word. But 
 consider how pleasant such intelligence must have been to a 
 wife : 
 
 Zina's friends, who wished to cheer me up and make me 
 happy, told me that my husband's love for her was perfectly 
 engros>ing; they " thought he could never have really loved 
 before " — " there Avas something very beautiful in their 
 loves I" 
 
 Zina pitied us, I know, when she realized that tee could 
 never know the great depth of our husband's love for her. She 
 spoke and acted as if this were how she felt ; and I have no 
 doubt that she intended, after her marriage with our husband, 
 
" Our" Husband's Fiancee. 333 
 
 to treat us with great kindness and consideration, as a sort of 
 recompense for what we never had truly known, and never 
 could know now — our husband's love ! 
 
 As is almost always the case when the husband takes a third 
 wife, a better state of feeling was brought about between my 
 own husband's second wife and myself. Belinda no longer 
 centred all her jealousy in me. She now, to a certain extent, 
 began to realize what I had suffered when my husband courted 
 her ; she felt badly, and I really did sympathize with her 
 when I remembered how young she was, and that she was the 
 mother of three little children. She had her moiety of a hus- 
 band, it is true ; but, like all other polygamic wives, that was 
 her misfortune rather than her comfort and strength. Many a 
 wife would be happier were she a widow ; in fact, widows are 
 the happiest class of women in Utah, for they realize that it is far 
 better to have a dead sorrow than a living one. 
 
 Now, our husband always maintained that he was not in 
 love with Miss Zina, but that in making love to her he was 
 acting entirely from principle. So all the brethren say, and I 
 have never yet heard of any one of them ever coufessing — 
 except, of course, to the maiden herself — that he was in love. 
 To the maiden herself he says, not only that, but a great deal 
 more. But if our husband, at the time of which I speak, was 
 not in love, the saints forbid that I should ever see him in that 
 condition ! I am sure when I heard his fiancee speaking of 
 their devotion to each other, and of the fond attachment of her 
 heart to him (for she felt no delicacy in speaking to me — his 
 wife — about such matters), I came to the conclusion that I had 
 never known what it was to really love, and that my nature 
 was too crude and unrefined to understand the mysteries of the 
 tender passion. There was no love in the case, our husband 
 told us — all pure duty ! 
 
 Long- courtships had become quite fashionable among the 
 brethren in Salt Lake City, and I dreaded a long courtship 
 more than anything else, for there is so much that is humili- 
 ating, and I might even say disgusting, to a wife when her 
 husband is engaged in love-making to another woman, that I 
 hoped, as much as possible, to be Bpared passing through such 
 an ordeal a s-econd time. 
 
 As the accepted lover and affianced husband of Brother 
 Brigham's daughter, our husband was, of course, constantly in 
 attendance at the Prophet's house. But he was not the only 
 good brother who spent his evenings in Brigham Young's 
 parlour ; for it was then — and I suppose it is to-day — a regular 
 
334 ^ /l Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 rendezvous for middle-aged and young men, and even boys ; 
 and there the Prophet's little girls, as well as those who were 
 grown or growing up, obtained an excellent training in the 
 art of flirting and courting. 
 
 It has always been said among the Saints that Brigham's 
 girls, and the daughters of Daniel H. Wells, were the boldest 
 and least retiring maidens to be found in Salt Lake City, and 
 that they presumed greatly upon their imaginary high posi- 
 tion ; which position nobody but themselves cared anything 
 about. It is well known that the very people upon whom 
 they look down are those who rightly should receive their 
 warmest gratitude and respect, on account of the more than 
 liberal support which they have given to their father, even to 
 the detriment of their own children. 
 
 When first I heard that my husband had set his affections 
 upon one of these girls, I felt convinced that he could not 
 have made a very wise choice ; and I could not help dreading 
 that the mere fact of my husband having selected a daughter of 
 the Prophet as his future wife would bring trouble upon us all. 
 What shape that trouble would take I could form no conjecture, 
 but I felt sure that a change of some sort was fast approaching. 
 My faith was almost gone ; I felt the degrading position in 
 which the " Celestial" system placed me and my children, and 
 it seemed to me that I could no longer endure it. My children 
 I could not, and would not leave, but it was impossible for me to 
 continue to live as I had been living ; nor would I think of 
 bringing up my children any longer to believe and live a religion 
 which had so cruelly blighted my own life. It was for them 
 that I feared now ; I felt that for their sake I must break 
 away from this horrible system. 
 
 My own life, I thought, was not worth caring for, but the 
 idea of my little girls growing up and following in my 
 footsteps and enduring as I had endured, was more than I 
 could bear. Something must be done to save them from such 
 a fate. 
 
 About this time I procured a copy of the " Revelation on 
 Celestial Marriage," and read it through carefully and calmly, 
 from beginning to end. The reader may, perhaps, remember 
 that when a copy of it was first given to me, in Switzerland, 
 years before, I was so angry and indignant that when I had 
 got only partly through it I cast it from me in disgust as an 
 outrage upon all that was good and true. From that time, 
 although I had heard portions of it quoted and read, I had 
 never perused it as a whole. On two occasions, at least, my 
 
" Our " Husband's Fiancee. 335 
 
 friend Mary Burton was very near reading it through with 
 me, and had we done so, I have not the slightest doubt that 
 my eyes would have been opened to the absurdity and 
 wickedness of the whole system, and years of wretchedness 
 would have been spared me. 
 
 Such, however, was not the case. It was not until I had 
 almost drained the cup of sorrow and degradation that, at last, 
 I found an antidote in the deadly thing itself which had been 
 the source of all my unhappiness. I was acting upon the 
 homoeopathic principle — " similia similibus curantur " — and 
 using a dose of poison, to cure a disease caused by that 
 poison. 
 
 As I read, I saw plainly, from the wording of the document, 
 that if ever it was given to Joseph Smith — no matter by 
 whom — it was given long after he had practised Polygamy — or 
 something as bad — and to sanction what he had already done. 
 I had read in the Book of Mormon : 
 
 " David and Solomon truly had many wives and concubines, 
 which thing was an abomination before me, saith the Lord. . . . 
 Hearken to the Word of the Lord : for there shall not any 
 man among you have, save it be one wife ; and concubines 
 he shall have none." [Book of Mormon, p. 118.] 
 
 In the Book of the Covenants, given through Joseph Smith, 
 and held sacred by every Saint, I had read : 
 
 " Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and cleave 
 unto her and none else." [Book of Covenants, p. 124.] 
 
 And yet when 1 turned to the " Revelation " I found in the 
 very first clause : 
 
 "Verily, thus saith the Lord unto my servant Joseph, that 
 inasmuch as you have enquired at my hand, to know and 
 understand wherein I, the Lord, justified ["!] my servants 
 Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, as also Moses, David and Solo- 
 mon, my servants, as touching the principle and doctrine of 
 their having many wives and concubines," &c. 
 
 What could I possibly think of a "Prophet" Who, after 
 having the law laid down so clearly, and being told so dis- 
 tinctly that the doings of David and Solomon were an "abomi- 
 nation," and that a man should have but one wife, should 
 enquire of the Lord how He "justified" the very things 
 which He had just declared were "an abomination" unto 
 Him ?— Then, too, what blasphemy to represent God as one 
 day giving a " Revelation" declaring a thing sinful, and the 
 next day "justifying" it! I felt perfectly humiliated with 
 myself that I had never before had the courage to look the 
 
336 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 matter calmly in the face and discover, as I must have dis- 
 covered, had I only used my unaided reason, the shameful 
 imposture which had been palmed upon us. I now made 
 careful enquiry, and it was soon clear to me that evidence 
 was not wanting to prove that the doctrine of plural marriages 
 originated in the licentious hearts of Joseph Smith and those 
 associated with him. When once I was convinced of that, the 
 whole fabric of my religion crumbled before my eyes ; and 
 from that time I can hardly say that I had faith in anything 
 that had been taught me. 
 
 My husband's second wife was also very unhappy now. 
 She, too, after the general rule, had flattered herself that she 
 was " his first and only love," and it was not pleasant to 
 have her dream of happiness dispelled ; but now that another 
 "jewel" was to be added to our husband's crown, she could 
 no longer deceive herself. She little knew, poor girl, when 
 she married, that a Mormon's heart is like a honeycomb — 
 there is always a vacant cell wherein another may nestle. 
 
 Real trouble, too, she had. One of her children was taken 
 very sick, and after a very severe illness died. I remained 
 with her night and day, and did what I could for the poor 
 child. Had it been possible for me to have felt a greater 
 loathing and detestation for that vile system of Polygamy, 
 that feeling would have been conceived while I watched at the 
 bed-side of my husband's dying child. It was there that I 
 vowed that no polygamists should ever marry another daughter 
 of mine, and resolved that to my dying day my voice should be 
 raised against the unholy and unnatural teachings of the Mor- 
 mon Priesthood. I looked at that lonely youug mother, who 
 in her hour of trial ought to have had all her husband's 
 sympathy, all his attention, to support her ; but who, instead, 
 knew that, however kind he might be to her, he was contem- 
 plating a new marriage, and his thoughts must of necessity 
 be more or less with his purposed bride. All unkind feeling 
 was banished from my heart — I forgot that she was my hus- 
 band's wife, and remembered only that, like myself, she was a 
 suffering woman, a victim to a false faith ; and I felt very 
 deeply for her in her time of sorrow and bereavement. 
 
 My husband, at this time, had been a member of the Mor- 
 mon Church for twenty-five years. He had lectured, preached, 
 written and published, in Great Britain, Switzerland, and the 
 United States, in support of the Mormon faith. He had been 
 a most earnest and consistent member of the Church, and 
 devotedly attached to Brighana Young. This attachment to 
 
" Our " Husband's Fiancee. 337 
 
 Brother Brigham he shared in common with all the staunchest 
 of his brethren ; for while the members of the Church retain 
 unshaken confidence in the new revelation, they naturally ac- 
 quire a great regard for the Prophet, and render him unques- 
 tioning obedience. I believe that my husband would willingly 
 have laid down his life, if by so doing he could have shielded 
 Brigham Young from harm or have been of essential service 
 to him. 
 
 But causes were now in operation which, by-and-by, de- 
 tached him from the Church, and made it possible for me also 
 to leave the Mormon faith. Hitherto, for my children's sake, 
 I dared not leave the Church without my husband, and I 
 therefore anxiously watched for anything which might rescue 
 him from the bondage in which he was held. 
 
 As proprietor of a daily paper, his business had frequently 
 called him to the Eastern States for several months at a time, 
 and I observed that after those visits his editorials took a 
 more liberal turn. My Mormon friends frequently said to me, 
 " Brother Stenhouse is doing himself no good by his constant 
 association with the Gentiles ; " and subsequently, when he 
 did apostatize, our secession from the Church was attributed 
 to contaminating Gentile influences. 
 
 Then, too, we had frequent visits from strangers passing 
 through Salt Lake City. I saw, with pleasure, that this in- 
 tercourse with the outside world was gradually undermining 
 my husband's confidence in the teachings of the Elders, and it 
 gave me courage to hope that, after all, the day of liberty 
 might dawn at last. Feeling as I did thus, it will not sur- 
 prise the reader that I regarded with more and more distrust 
 the proposed marriage of my husband to Brother Brigham 's 
 daughter ; for I felt that then he would be deeper than ever 
 in the toils of the Priesthood, and I sometimes almost be- 
 lieved that it was my duty to use every influence in my power 
 to prevent it. 
 
 Putting my own feelings out of the question, it is probable 
 that I might have done this simply for his own good ; for I 
 doubted not that some day the scales must fall from his eyes, 
 and then he would be thankful that I had prevented the mar- 
 riage. Our paths by this time had certainly diverged far 
 asunder, and my husband had another wife and family ; but I 
 believed that he was sincere, though sadly mistaken, or 1 
 should not have felt so kindly towards him as I did. 
 
 At other times, and observing his devotion, I almost myself 
 began to think that perhaps the nonsense that I had heard 
 
 z 
 
338 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 was, after all, true, and that this girl was the only one he had 
 really loved ; and, if so, of course he ought to marry her. Iq 
 fact, so divided was my attention that I hardly knew what to 
 think ; I therefore resolved to act according to circum- 
 stances. " 
 
 Brigliam Young, in one of his sermons, says that " the 
 first thing manifested in the case of apostasy was the idea 
 that the Prophet was liable to make a mistake : when a man 
 believes that, he has taken the first step towards apostasy; 
 he need only take one step more, and he is out of the Church." 
 This was spoken of Joseph and his saints, but it suits just as 
 well Brigham and his ; I knew very well that my husband had 
 taken the first step, and I sincerely hoped that he might soon 
 take the second. For my own part, I had for some time not 
 only believed that a Prophet might be mistaken, but, as Brother 
 Heber would say, I knew it. 
 
 My husband and his bride elect, like all other lovers, had 
 frequent little quarrels — I suppose for the purpose of making 
 up again, and being then all the more ardent in their affection. 
 But they now had a disagreement which lasted longer than all 
 that had gone before ; although I suppose that neither of them 
 had, at that time, the slightest idea how it was going to end. 
 They had been courting for fifteen months at least, and after 
 so much devotion on the part of my husband, and so much 
 fervent affection on the part of the young lady, it really did 
 seem too bad that so large an ,amuunt of love should be thrown 
 away. It was hard that after.' such a long strain upon their 
 religious and devotional feelings — for they were both very 
 pious lovers — all their labour of love should come to nought. 
 Things had certainly taken a twist, for I knew well enough 
 that at one time they both firmly believed that their marriage 
 was pre-ordained in heaven, and that they were as completely 
 one in feeling as mortals ever could be. The mother, too, who 
 was a very pious woman, once told my husband that she had 
 had a vision in which it was revealed to her that they were 
 destined for each other in the eternal worlds : — the lovers of 
 course firmly believed her. But, for all that, the estrange- 
 ment still continued, and my husband was constantly making 
 it wider by the articles which appeared in his paper, until 
 at last certain of the sisters whispered that the heart of 
 the lady had been attracted towards some brighter luminary. 
 
 Long courtships often end disastrously ; but when I heard 
 rumours of the lady's presumed faithlessness, it seemed to me 
 hardly fair, for the day had been fixed for the marriage and 
 
" Our" Husband's Fiancee. 339 
 
 the wedding-dress actually made. Of course I sympathized 
 with my husband. Would any wife like to see her hus- 
 band disappointed in his love-affairs with another woman, I 
 wonder ? 
 
 While under these natural feelings of indignation, I one 
 day told Brighaui Young that I thought, after all the court- 
 ing that had been done — and it was not a trifle — they cer- 
 tainly ought to be married. He said he was willing enough 
 himself, if they wished it ; but girls, he said, often changed 
 their minds, and as they could but have one husband, it was 
 only fair that their wishes should be consulted. " If Zina 
 has really changed her mind," he added, " I have plenty of 
 other daughters, and they have all got to be married; let him 
 take one of them — if one won't another will ! " The reader 
 will see the liberal ideas which Brother Brigham entertains 
 on the subject of marriage. 
 
 It may, perhaps, seem rather strange that I should be 
 anxious to have them marry ; but, after all that I had seen 
 and endured in Polygamy, can it be wondered at that I should 
 no longer regard the father of my children as my own hus- 
 band ? Had I thought him a bad man, or had he acted as I 
 know many of the good brethren do act ; had he brought 
 home girl after girl with the hope of alluring one or more of 
 them into Polygamy, or had he been utterly reckless of my 
 feelings, I might perhaps have been able to cast him from my 
 heart without a single regret. But I really believed that he 
 was acting consistently with the teachings of his religion, and 
 if I felt degraded by the life I lived, it was not his fault — it 
 was the fault of the system. I therefore felt that if things 
 came to the worst, and if I were driven to extremities, and 
 forced to separate from him, I should like to know that he had 
 a wife whom he loved. I felt certain that there was now but 
 little love between him and his second wife, and that some 
 day a separation was sure to take place. The idea of divorce 
 was so repugnant to my feelings that it was only in moments 
 when grief overpowered me, and my heart was wrung with 
 anguish, and I felt utterly reckless, that I for one moment 
 thought of anything like it. Even then I only entertained the 
 idea of a separate life — not divorce. 
 
 2 2 
 
340 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 CHAPTER XXXVII. 
 
 SOME CURIOUS COURTSHIPS — BRIGHAM RUINS OUR FORTUNES 
 — BELINDA DIVORCES " OUR " HUSBAND. 
 
 Mormonism had been, to my husband, everything. It had 
 for years grown with his growth, until it had become a part 
 of himself. Doubts had occasionally crept into his mincl, it 
 is true, but it required time to effect a change. The measures 
 adopted by Brigham Young in the spring of 1869, for the 
 purpose of controlling the commerce of Utah, as well as the 
 property and faith of the people, caused great discontent. 
 The teachings of the Tabernacle were wild and arrogant, and 
 Brigham assumed that it was his right to dictate in every- 
 thing, " even," he said, " to the setting up of a stocking or the 
 ribbons which a woman should wear." Many of the people, 
 wheu they heard these words and witnessed the fanaticism 
 created thereby, were aroused to opposition, but Brigham 
 only became more fierce in his denunciations and more harsh 
 in his measures. 
 
 I could plainly see that all this had the, to me, much 
 desired effect of alienating my husband from Mormonism, and 
 I never allowed an opportunity of strengthening the impres- 
 sion thus produced to pass unimproved. The articles in his 
 paper showed the condition of his mind, and brought down 
 upon him the wrath of Brigham. At this also I rejoiced, and 
 did not fail to make him feel that he ought to resent the 
 Prophet's interference. Brigham felt too certain of the sub- 
 mission of his slave, and accused Mr. Stenhouse of having 
 published favourable notices of Gentile stores, also of having 
 their advertisements in his paper, and otherwise aiding and 
 abetting the wicked Gentiles— all which accusations my hus- 
 band began to feel was an infringement upon his own private 
 personal rights as a citizen and a man. One circumstance 
 followed another, and I could plainly see that his confidence 
 in Brigham's inspiration was slowly but surely dwindling 
 away, and that the day Avhich I had so long anxiously watched 
 
Some Curious Courtships. 341 
 
 for was breaking at last. Notwithstanding this, however, 
 there was one bond which still united him by no weak tie to 
 the Church — he was a Polygamist. The contemplated mar- 
 riage between him and Brigham's daughter could, I believed, 
 never now take place ; but, even allowing that, he still had 
 another wife ; and now that I had entirely lost faith in Mor- 
 monism generally, and the " Celestial Order of Marriage " in 
 particular, I resolved that I would no longer have a partner 
 in my husband's affections — as if he were a "joint-stock con- 
 cern ! " — I would have the whole of my husband, or none. I 
 had not yet, however, sufficient courage to speak to him of my 
 feelings. 
 
 One Sunday evening, Mr. Stenhouse, when he came home, 
 said to me : " Brother Brigham has given me a mission ; he 
 wishes me to go to Ogden and publish my paper there." 
 
 I can imagine I see some strong-minded woman smile at the 
 idea of a wife wanting courage to speak to her husband. But 
 such women do not know what Mormonism is. 
 
 This was very unexpected news ; but with the vividness of 
 lightning, a glimpse of what the Prophet intended by such 
 a strange proposition flashed across my mind. " He wishes 
 to ruin us ! " I exclaimed ; " you surely will not go ! " 
 
 Now Brigham, of course, knew that my husband's paper 
 had a large circulation in Utah Territory as well as in Salt 
 Lake City, and that his business was in a most prosperous 
 condition ; he knew also that to do aught that might impair 
 or destroy that business would be to bring misery and disas- 
 ter upon all who were dependent upon it for their daily bi*ead. 
 And yet, for all that, he told my husband to break up his 
 establishment, or in his own words, " to pull up root and 
 branch," and go to a place where the people were 60 miserably 
 poor that it was impossible to make a newspaper successful 
 among them. 
 
 In all this the crafty Prophet no doubt acted wisely. The 
 "Daily 7< legraph would in all probability become a power in 
 the Territory, and he feared that in a short time it would 
 emancipate itself from his control. 
 
 I do not doubt that, long before this time, he had noted 
 that my husband was weakening in the faith ; but he had 
 waited for his opportunity, and now he considered that it had 
 come. We knew very well that this was the way in which 
 he had always acted towards those whom he feared or doubted; 
 when he saw them growing weak in the faith he ruined 
 them, or did the best he could to that effect, before they 
 
342 An Englishwoman m Utah. 
 
 finally left the Church. I urged my husband to resist this 
 arbitrary decree on the part of the Prophet, and represented 
 strongly the misery which would result from his failure, and 
 the utter impossibility of success. But I soon found that, 
 though he doubted Brigham, his faith in Mormonism was by 
 no means all gone — he, like many another, feared that in 
 disobeying Brigham, perhaps, after all, he might be resisting 
 God. He could see the wrong-doing of the Prophet, and felt 
 that his conduct was unworthy of one who pretended to such 
 great things ; but he regarded this as the weakness of the 
 Prophet's humanity, at the same time believing that in 
 matters of religion he might be divinely inspired. He was 
 still so under the influence of the past that he could not yet break 
 asunder the yoke and bid defiance to Brigham and the Priest- 
 hood. He told me that now was the time for him to prove 
 his obedience, cost what it might ; and all the brethren urged 
 him to submit, saying that the Lord would overrule every- 
 thing for his good. 
 
 Believing this, he broke up his establishment at Salt Lake 
 City, and went, as "counselled," to Ogden. There he re- 
 mained for several months, during which time he was losing 
 mouey every day. Finding at last that he could stand it no 
 longer, he asked Brigham Young's permission to return and 
 recommence his paper in Salt Lake City, for no one then 
 dared stir a foot without permission. This was granted, for 
 Brigham had now accomplished his purpose. But some of 
 our friends told me that the teachers, when making their 
 weekly visits, were telling the people not to take in Brother 
 Stenhouse's paper again, if he came back to Salt Lake City, 
 for he was apostatizing, and they must not sustain an 
 Apostate. Now, I thought, my husband will believe that I 
 was right in my judgment of Brigham's motives. 
 
 My own family and that of the second wife did not accom- 
 pany my husband to Ogden ; he was therefore quite at home 
 when he returned, but the expense of transferring his business 
 from one place to another was perfectly ruinous. He had 
 not only purchased valuable property, as I before mentioned, 
 in the City, but he had also realized quite a comfortable little 
 fortune by the success of his paper ; but now the property 
 had to be mortgaged, and his fortune was, of course, utterly 
 insufficient for these heavy daily losses. Just then, the severe 
 illness of my eldest son, in San Francisco, made it necessary 
 that we should leave immediately to attend him, for we had 
 received intelligence that he was not at all likely to recover. 
 
Some Curious Courtships. 343 
 
 As it was my own son who was sick, my husband had very 
 naturally determined that I should accompany him ; but this 
 brought on such a severe fit of jealousy on the part of his 
 young wife, who already was by no means too happy, that 
 when we returned, after my son's recovery, she threatened to 
 obtain a divorce. My husbaud told me of this, but I had so 
 frequently heard such threats from wives who were unhappy 
 or neglected that I thought little about it. 
 
 One day, not long after our return, I was quite surprised to 
 see Mr. Stenhouse and Joseph A. Young drive up to the 
 door, looking as if something of great importance had just 
 transpired. Mr. Stenhouse jumped out of his buggy and 
 hurriedly gave me a letter, as I thought — at the same time 
 saying, " Take great care of this, for it makes me a free man 
 again." Saying this, he left the house, jumped into the buggy 
 again, and was gone, while I stood holding the paper, wonder- 
 ing what it all could mean. 
 
 My husband had told me to " take care " of the paper. He 
 neither said " read it " or " don't read it," and, of course, I was 
 not in the least curious. The envelope was not sealed, so I 
 made up my mind that, though he had not said so, he must 
 have wished me to read what was inside, and at any rate I re- 
 solved to risk doing so. To my astonishment I found that the 
 document which he said set him free was nothing else than 
 a bill of divorce betweeu him and his young wife. It appeared 
 afterwards that she had been to Brother Brigham, had told 
 him of her grievances, and had asked for a divorce. 
 
 Now when the wife of any man who is of good standing in 
 the Church, and whom Brigham wishes to honour, comes to 
 him for a divorce, he generally sends for the husband first, 
 tells him about it, and tbey talk it over together. The hus- 
 band is counselled to " make the matter up," and a com- 
 promise is effected. In the case of my husband, Brigham 
 acted otherwise. The clerk had been directed to make out the 
 papers, which the second wife signed, and, as far as she was 
 concerned, her marriage was dissolved. My husband was then 
 notified that he was wanted at the Prophet's office, and he had 
 a very shrewd guess as to what the nature of the business 
 was for which his presence was desired. He waited till the 
 afternoon, when he knew that Brigham would be absent, and 
 then as he was driving out with Joseph A., the Prophet's son, 
 he drew up before the office and asked Joseph to accompany 
 him inside in order to witness a little business which he had 
 to transact. Joseph agreed ; but when he found what the 
 
344 -An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 business really was, he strongly urged my husband not to 
 sign the papers, or, at least, to take time and consult with 
 President Young first. Mr. Stenhouse, however, never for a 
 moment doubted that Brigham had expected by this hasty 
 move to bring him to his feet, and he would not therefore yield. 
 So, asking the clerk for the papers, he signed them, and Joseph 
 also signed them as a witness ; the other witness was David 
 Mackenzie, Brigham's clerk. Belinda had already affixed her 
 name. Ten dollars were then handed over as the usual fee. 
 My husband took one copy of the " bill of divorce," the wife 
 had a right to a second copy, and the third was deposited in 
 the archives of Zion. My husband had then, as we have seen, 
 hastened home to tell me that he was " a free man :" and yet 
 these two had been " sealed " to each other at the altar in the 
 Endowment House "for all eternity ! " 
 
 This is the way that divorces are granted in Utah. There 
 is not the slightest difficulty about them, if only Brother Brig- 
 ham is willing. The reader would, perhaps, be interested in 
 seeing one of these terrible documents. I therefore append a 
 true, perfect, and exact copy of my husband's own bill of 
 divorce. It is a fac simile — type, signatures, and all. This is 
 a specimen of an orthodox divorce among the bon ton in Salt 
 Lake City. Out in the Settlements they do things in a much 
 more primitive style, and some of their documents are rather 
 amusing. The following is a correct copy of a Mormon 
 divorce bill taken from the records of Beaver City : — 
 
 rjy -, . x March 8th 1871 
 
 lo whomsoever it may concern 
 
 This is to certify in the beginning of 1869 when I gave a 
 bill of divorce to Sarah , Ann Lowry I gave to her for the 
 good of her four children the following property viz. A par- 
 cel of land of about nine acres enclosed all around with a 
 house of two rooms and one cow and heifer 
 
 William C Ritter 
 
 I could, if space permitted, give many others equally in- 
 teresting. 
 
 I cannot say that I was much grieved at the sight of my 
 husband's divorce. At the same time, long training in the 
 school of trouble had hardened my heart and rendered me 
 almost indifferent, aud I cannot say that I very greatly re- 
 joiced. Nature adapts us morally, as well as physically, to the 
 positions which we have to occupy in life. The hand of him 
 who Libours much becomes hard, the unshodden foot grows 
 horny, and the heart which at first is tender and, like the 
 
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 iEolian harp, ready to answer to the slightest passing breath, 
 by and by, beneath the rough hand of trial and the world, be- 
 comes callous and stony, and the roughest storms and the 
 sweetest pleasures alike seem to make little impression upon 
 it. 
 
 Thus it was with me when I received that paper. A few 
 years before, a reliable assurance that my husband would never 
 enter into Polygamy would have been to me the realization of 
 my best earthly wishes. But now my heart was almost dead, 
 and I felt as if I hardly cared one way or the other. If I felt 
 thus, who had still all my darling children around me, who 
 had never missed one dear little face from the fireside or from 
 the table, what must have been endured by those mothers 
 who not only gave away their husbands to other wives, but 
 who lost child after child, until, bereft of all they loved on 
 earth, they could but, like Pachael, sit down in ashes and 
 mourn for the dead ? 
 
 But the more I thought over what had happened, the more 
 doubtful I felt as to what the result would be. That there 
 would be some great change in our life, I felt assured ; but to 
 me the change was coming almost too late. Then, too, the 
 young wife who in her hasty anger had obtained the divorce. 
 I felt that her happiness must surely be gone, and I could not 
 bear the thought that my peace should be purchased with the 
 sorrows of another. Brother Brigham's part in the matter 
 was also ever present in my mind. That he had resolved to 
 bring ruin upon my husbaud I did not now for a moment 
 doubt. But if a weak woman's efforts could in any way assist 
 in thwarting his designs, I fully resolved that be never should 
 have the satisfaction of seeing those designs successful. I 
 would stand by my husband, I would work for and assist him, 
 and would give not even a passing thought to what I might 
 have suffered, or remember that he had ever loved others 
 better than myself. I would be to him now the true wife that 
 before God I had vowed to be, for worse as well as for better ; 
 and however I myself might have been wronged, I would, for 
 my part, endeavour faithfully to perform my whole duty to my 
 husband and to God. 
 
 After I had formed this mental resolution, and had begun 
 to realize our new position, I felt as if awakeuing from a long 
 dream of many years. I was released from the clutches of 
 that frightful nightmare — Polygamy ; and I could once more 
 take my place beside my husband as his wife. I kuew that 
 he would have much to contend against, and would need all 
 
346 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 the moral support that I could accord to him. Brigham's 
 efforts in respect to my husband's paper had been far too suc- 
 cessful, and although it was still carried on, fresh difficulties 
 sprang up every day. My husband had been deceived by Brig- 
 ham's oily manner and plausible way ; but to others his inten- 
 tion in sending him away was no secret. A man named Bull, 
 who is now and was also at that time employed in the Deseret 
 Newts office, said that no one but Mr. Stenhouse had ever been 
 deceived by what the Prophet had done ; it was commonly re- 
 ported that Brigham intended to ruin my husband, and that 
 when he prophesied that the paper in Ogden should be a great 
 success, he was himself perfectly aware that it was utterly im- 
 possible that such could be the case. 
 
 Whether Brigham was the deceiver or the deceived, I do 
 not wish to say. Men who consider themselves inspired, and 
 go on day by day uttering all sorts of nonsense and blasphemy, 
 and giving impertinent and mischievous advice in the "name 
 of the Lord," at last become thoroughly impervious to reason, 
 and daily and hourly deceive themselves. I hope, for his own 
 sake, it was so with Brigham, for I would rather believe him 
 a self-made fool than a downright knave ; and in many of his 
 transactions — perhaps I ought almost to say all — it is clear to 
 every one that he is either one or the other. Of one thing I 
 am certain — I was fully contented that we should lose all, if 
 only my husband were taken, once and for ever, clean out of 
 the meshes of Mormonism. We might have to make a terrible 
 sacrifice, but to me it was a sacrifice well worth the making. 
 
347 
 
 CHAPTER XXXVIIL 
 
 3IARY BURTON — LIFE'S JOURNEY ENDED : REST AT LAST. 
 
 It was about this time that one morning, very early, before 
 I was well up, a young girl came to the house in a great 
 hurry, asking to speak to me without a moment's delay. 
 
 I threw a wrapper round me, and went out at once to see 
 her. She said she came from the house of Sister Mary 
 Burton, and begged me to come directly and see her, for 
 Mary had taken poison, and it was thought she was dying. 
 
 Now, I have been so much engaged of late in telling my 
 own sorrows, that Mary Burton has quite dropped out of my 
 story. But it must not be supposed that all that time I saw 
 nothing of my poor friend. On the contrary, I had seen her 
 much more frequently of late than I used to when I first came 
 to Salt Lake City. When I last spoke of her it was when she 
 was about to return to Southern Utah, where she and her hus- 
 band then resided. It was evident to me from her conver- 
 sation, as it must have been to the reader, that her faith in Mor- 
 monism had even then entirely gone ; that she felt her husband's 
 neglect and unkindness most keenly, and that she had become a 
 miserable, broken-hearted woman. It was very painful to con- 
 trast what she now was with what she had been when I first 
 knew her, and then to think what a happy wife and mother 
 she might have been if the spectre of Mormonism had not 
 crossed her path. 
 
 Mary and her husband, Elder Shrewsbury, left the Settle- 
 ments about a year after the time I last mentioned her, and 
 took up their abode in Salt Lake City. Elder Shrewsbury 
 had prospered exceedingly, and when he came to Salt Lake he 
 brought with him, besides Mary, his second wife, Elleu, who, 
 as we before noticed, had become very much attached to her. 
 The other three wives and their children were left at the (arm 
 in Southern Utah. He would probably have brought them all 
 with him, had there been in the city a house large enough to 
 hold them all. As it was, he purchased a good lot about half 
 
343 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 a mile from where we resided, with a comfortable house upon 
 it; and there his first and second wives lived together. This 
 was the man who had solemnly sworn before God, that he 
 would never practise Polygamy ! But I doubt if Elder 
 Shrewsbury, with his comfortable house in the city, his farm 
 and lands in the South, his fast increasing property, and his 
 many wives, felt truly the hundredth part of the happiness 
 which he would have experienced in the devotion of one faithful 
 heart, even had it been in the midst of poverty and care. He, 
 however, poor infatuated man, did not think thus ; he was ac- 
 tually even now courting a young girl of about seventeen years 
 of age, who the two wives daily expected would be brought 
 home to aid in building up their husband's " Kingdom." I do 
 not think Mary cared much about this. It was the taking of 
 the first plural wife that was her great sorrow. After that, her 
 love for her husband weakened, until it altogether died out, and 
 she did not care how many wives he took. 
 
 Mary's high spirit was always urging her into rebellion. In 
 married life both husband and wife give way to each other in 
 a thousand little things, of no consequence in themselves, but 
 quite sufficient, without the presence of love, to sow the seeds 
 of discord. But when love has fled, and the husband looks 
 upon his wife — the companion of his youth, the mother of his 
 children — not as the partner of his whole life and the sharer of 
 all his joys and sorrows, but as a person whose presence is a 
 reproach to him and who is an inconvenience rather than 
 otherwise ; and when the wife regards her husband as one 
 whom formerly she loved with true devotion, but who has 
 cruelly broken her heart and trampled upon her feelings, and 
 who is nothing to her now but a tyrant whose very presence 
 is painful to her, can there then be any forbearance, any of 
 those gentle kindnesses, any of those loving forgivenesses, 
 any of those mutual tendernesses and sweet confidences which 
 constitute the charm of married life ? 
 
 In giving up Mormouism, my unhappy friend gave up, as 
 too many have done, faith in all else. She had lived, as she 
 thought, a life of religion ; and when she found what a terrible 
 mockery of all that is holy that so-called religion was, she cast 
 it aside, thinking that all religion was vain. She did not see 
 that she would have acted just as wisely in rejecting all food 
 because she chanced to partake of some that was poisoned ; 
 she did not see that, although the broken reed on which she 
 rested was unable to yield her any true support, nevertheless 
 the everlasting foundations of eternal truth which God Him- 
 
Mary Burton. 349 
 
 self has laid can never be removed ; and that though creeds 
 and systems may fail and pass away, only to give place to others 
 equally unsatisfactory, yet those divine verities are established 
 for ever, are beyond the reach of earthly vicissitudes, and know 
 nothing of time or change. 
 
 Utterly miserable and sick at heart, Mary cared not 
 whether she lived or died. There was nothing to bind her to 
 life, and beyond the life of this world she was altogether with- 
 out hope. A more wretched existence it is scarcely possible 
 to imagine. 
 
 While they were still in the Settlements, she treated the 
 other wives with the greatest contempt, sitting by them at the 
 table or passing them in the house without vouchsafing a look 
 or a word. Her husband, as might be expected, avoided her 
 whenever it was possible, and the other wives returned her 
 coldness and disdain, and in turn annoyed her as much as they 
 could when they were not too busy looking after one another. 
 It would be impossible to picture a house more divided against 
 itself than was that of Elder Shrewsbury. 
 
 When the two wives, Ellen and Mary, lived together with 
 their husband in Salt Lake City, Mary of course had no 
 opportunity of showing her hatred and contempt for the poly- 
 gamic wives. But towards her husband she evinced a cold 
 disdain, as if he were now nothing at all to her — as if her very 
 heart itself had been withered. For Ellen, who, since Elder 
 Shrewsbury had taken his other wives, had clung to her with 
 a child-like affection, and to her own little girl alone, she 
 showed that deep and constant love which she had once 
 lavished upon such an unworthy object. 
 
 She used to come to me and tell me all her griefs ; and in 
 a passion of rage and tears she would hurl defiance at Mor- 
 monism and curse bitterly the system that had wrecked her 
 life. Then I would soothe her, and speak calmly to her, and 
 try to place matters in their best light ; and she would sit and 
 listen in a painful state of apathy, as if she cared for none of 
 these things. Presently she would rise and go, and then, per- 
 haps, I would not see her for weeks together, unless I chanced 
 to call upon her at her own house. Sometimes, for days and 
 even weeks at a time, she would shut herself up in her room 
 and refuse to see her husband or any one else, except her 
 little girl, who slept in the same room with her, and who at 
 Buch times used to bring in what food they wanted ; for in 
 these melancholy fits she would not even let the servants come 
 near her. 
 
350 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 There was a little table near the window, and from the case- 
 ment of the window could be seen in the far distance the lofty 
 ranges of the Wahsatch Mountains. And sitting at that table, 
 gazing from that window, with her cheek resting upon her 
 hand, Mary would watch the whole day long, as if entranced in 
 some ecstatic vision. Her little girl — a child of winning ways, 
 bashful to an extreme and very pretty, but, though so young, 
 with a look of wistful sadness upon her childish face — had be- 
 come accustomed to her mother's ways ; and when one of 
 these long spells of melancholy came upon her, she would 
 either steal out quietly and wander away for a long walk all 
 by herself — for she never played with the other children in her 
 father's house — or else, as was more frequently the case, she 
 would sit down on the ground near her mother and silently 
 amuse herself with a book or some childish toy. 
 
 To my mind there was something inexpressibly painful in 
 all this. When Mary did not come to see me, I would call 
 round at her husband's house, and try to draw her out from 
 her melancholy seclusion. It was very seldom that I saw Elder 
 Shrewsbury, and I cannot say that I wished to do so. He 
 had, as his wife told me, undergone a complete change since I 
 knew him in England. The open look, the upright bearing, 
 the earnestness of speech, which then characterized him, were 
 now gone for ever. He was still a handsome man, rather 
 portly, and evidently well to do in the world ; but there were 
 lines about his eyes which ought not to have been seen in the 
 face of a man of his years ; and his lips, without uttering a 
 word, told their own story. 
 
 Heartbroken and wrenched, weary of life, and yet with no 
 hopeful assurance of life beyond the grave, poor Mary lived on 
 year after year, while those who seemed to dance in the very 
 sunshine of existence were cut off like the simmer flowers in 
 the harvest-field. Lately, however, I thought I saw symptoms 
 of a change. I noticed that she was perceptibly growing 
 thinner and thinner ; her eye seemed brighter, and there was 
 always a flush upon her cheek, which would have been beautiful 
 had it not been for the seal of melancholy which was stamped 
 upon every feature. But the brightness of the eye, and the 
 flush upon the cheek, were not symbols of health, but the im- 
 piint of the finger of death. 
 
 She did not know this. Though she longed to die, she 
 little thought that death was so near her. Sometimes she 
 would talk almost happily of the old by-gone days ; then she 
 would sit brooding over her griefs ; and then again she 
 
Mary Burton. 351 
 
 would talk anxiously about the future of her little daughter. 
 I had seen other wives as wretched as poor Mary was — ay, 
 more so, for they had abject, grinding poverty superadded to 
 all their woes ; but, more than for any other I felt for my poor 
 friend, and exerted myself to the uttermost to comfort her. In 
 this I had been to a certain extent successful. She would 
 appear for a time a little more cheerful, but it was not long 
 before she relapsed into her habitual melancholy way. 
 
 That which troubled me most of late, in my intercourse 
 with Mary, was the fact that she was always talking about 
 death. This certainly was no matter of surprise to me, but 
 it was very painful. Over and over again she would dis- 
 cuss the question whether, under any circumstances, suicide 
 could be justified, and whether if any one, in absolute 
 despair, were to take away their own life, God would ever 
 pardon them. 
 
 I would never enter into such subjects as these, for I con- 
 sidered that such conversation showed a morbid condition of 
 mind, and could not possibly be of any good to either of us, and 
 would only suggest harmful thoughts. But again and again 
 Mary revetted to the subject, and I really at last began to 
 grow quite anxious about her. 
 
 It was not, therefore, with surprise that I received the 
 summons that morning. I did not wait to ask any questions 
 about the poisoning, but hastened to the bedside of my unfor- 
 tunate friend, trusting that I might yet be in time to render 
 some assistance. 
 
 I found her lying on the bed, partly dressed, and, as it 
 seemed to me at first, asleep. There was, at the bedside, and 
 bending over her, the second wife, who was in as much 
 trouble as if the sufferer had been her own sister. The poor 
 girl Lad been weeping, and was evidently very much dis- 
 tressed. There was also present in the room another sister, 
 whom I recognized as a friend of Mary's. The little daughter 
 of the unfortunate woman was there as well. One person, 
 whom every one would naturally have expected to see at the 
 bedside of a dying wife under such circumstances, was con- 
 spicuous by his absence — I mean, of course, Elder Shrews- 
 bury himself. 
 
 1 sat down on the bed, beside poor Mary, and took her hand 
 in mine. It was cold but damp, and her breathing was some- 
 what heavy. She was still unconscious. I asked the pretty 
 pale-faced girl — the second wife — who was bending over her, 
 how it had all happened, and whether they had had a doctor. 
 
352 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 " Oh, yes," she said, sobbing all the time; " we sent for the 
 doctor, and he has only just gone. He said he had done all 
 he could, and that we could let her sleep on now." 
 
 She then told me what had taken place. It appeared that 
 the night before Elder Shrewsbury had gone up into Maxw's 
 room to speak to her about some matter of importance. 
 Although living in the same house, she had not seen him for 
 several weeks, and the mere fact of being in his presence 
 agitated her. He told her he had come to talk about her child 
 — little Mary, called Mary after her mother. For some reason 
 or other, which nobody then seemed to understand, Elder 
 Shrewsbury had taken a fancy that the child should be 
 separated from her mother ; he wanted to send her to stay 
 with his other family in the Settlements, and it was for this 
 purpose he came to see Mary that night. It certainly did 
 seem the refinement of cruelty to separate the child from her 
 poor mother, who would thus have become, as one might say, 
 doubly widowed ; and I am strongly inclined to question 
 whether Elder Shrewsbury's motives were of the purest kind. 
 It is, however, only just to state that subsequently, when 
 speaking to a friend about the matter, he said that he had 
 long noticed in his wife what he considered were incipient 
 symptoms of madness, and he thought that his duty towards 
 the child imperatively demanded that he should immediately 
 take her away from her mother. He added — as was indeed 
 true — that his other wives in the South would have taken the 
 greatest care of her. 
 
 Mary was furious when the proposal was made to her. She 
 bitterly upbraided her husband for all his cruelty and neglect; 
 she cursed him for his perfidy, and she avowed that nothing 
 but death should separate her from her little girl. 
 
 Elder Shrewsbury trembled at the anger of his poor for- 
 saken wife, and he crept out of her room and downstairs. 
 But Mary could not be appeased. She went to the room of 
 the second wife — the only creature in the house, besides her 
 little girl, with whom she sometimes condescended to hold 
 intercourse — and there she acted in a very wild and extrava- 
 gant way. It was with great difficulty that she was at last 
 persuaded to lie down and take a little rest. She would not 
 go to her own room; so Ellen — the second wife — persuaded 
 her to remain with her all the night. She lay down, but did 
 not sleep. She muttered strange things, and by-and-by sat up 
 in the bed and spoke as if people were present whom she had 
 known years and years ago. Ellen was frightened $ but out 
 
Mary Burton, 353 
 
 of love to Mary, and not wishing that others should see her in 
 that crazy condition, she did not call for help, thinking that 
 presently she would fall asleep, and in the morning all would 
 be right. But the long night passed away, and just before 
 day-break Ellen fell into a sort of fitful slumber. It would 
 seem that just then poor Mary discovered for the first time 
 that she was not sleeping in her own room, and that her little 
 daughter was not with her. Distracted as her mind was, she 
 probably thought that they had stolen the child away, and 
 went in search of her. 
 
 She found her way to her own room, and then what hap- 
 pened no one, of course, could tell. She must have seen that 
 her child was safe; and it is not unlikely that, reassured on 
 that point, she felt that she needed rest, and thought that it 
 would be best to take some sedative to produce the sleep 
 which she believed would restore her to herself again. She 
 had in her room a little leather medicine-chest — a very useful 
 article for any one travelling, or to keep in the house — and to 
 that she must have had resort. Certain it is, that when, an 
 hour later, Ellen awoke and went to see what had become of 
 her husband's first wife, she found the little medicine-chest 
 open upon the bureau, Mary lying upon the bed, apparently 
 asleep, and a faint sickly smell, which one better versed in 
 such things would have known was the smell of opium, per- 
 vading the whole room. 
 
 Ellen began to scream and call for help, and one of the 
 women about the house, who was up at that early hour, came 
 to see what was the matter. She, upon hearing what Ellen 
 said, rushed downstairs shrieking for assistance. Fortunately 
 for every one, Elder Shrewsbury, who had just risen, was 
 standing in the hall-way below. He took hold of the noisy 
 woman and asked her what was the matter; and after hearing 
 all she had to say he sent her to attend to her domestic duties, 
 with a strict injunction to say nothing to a living soul about 
 what she had seen or heard. 
 
 Elder Shrewsbury then went up to Mary's room, and there 
 he learned that all that the silly woman had just said to him 
 was quite true. lie, however, betrayed no emotion. Very 
 calmly he put the stopper back into the laudanum bottle, then 
 looked at his watch aud hesitated, all the while that pale- 
 faced Ellen was looking anxiously at him, wautiug to know 
 what she could do. After a few moments of indecision, Elder 
 Shrewsbury turned to Ellen and said, "Yes; go for the 
 doctor." 
 
 A a 
 
354 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 Ellen flew upon her mission. 
 
 Meanwhile, Elder Shrewsbury looked towards the bed where 
 poor Mary lay — Mary, for whose love he had perjured his soul 
 — Mary who never would have been his had he not given that 
 sacred promise, the breaking of which made him an outlaw 
 from heaven and a thing to be despised of men. He looked 
 for one single moment at his poor wife as she lay there, and 
 then he turned upon his heel and went out of the room. For 
 the wealth of all the world I would not feel as that man felt, 
 if the thoughts which then crowded upon his brain were what, 
 for the sake of our common humanity, I trust they were. 
 The remembrance of the life which his folly or fanaticism — it 
 matters little which — had blasted; the thought of that solemn 
 vow which he had taken to love her only and for ever; the 
 sight of that dear one to whom he had once plighted his troth, 
 now desolate, forsaken, almost maniac in her wretchedness. 
 Oh God! what a curse was there for any man's soul to bear! 
 
 The physician, when he came, administered an emetic and 
 made them walk the patient about the room. Ellen and 
 the friend of Mary who was present volunteered for this 
 service. They supported her, one on each side, and paced 
 her round and round the room, thus compelling her to exer- 
 tion; and from time to time they made her swallow doses of 
 strong coffee, in which a little brandy had been mixed. When, 
 at length, signs of returning consciousness were apparent, the 
 physician left, promising to call again in the course of the 
 morning. 
 
 It was then that some one present thought of sending for 
 me, and I arrived not long after the physician had gone. I 
 was the only person, outside the family, beside the friend 
 whom I have mentioned, who knew of anything that had 
 taken place — so careful were they that the matter should not 
 get abroad ; and I should certainly not have been summoned 
 had it not been for the close intimacy which existed between 
 Mary and myself, which made us more like sisters than friends. 
 The reader must not, however, suppose that in relating this I 
 am even now betraying a trust ; for my friends in Utah know 
 as well as I do that so many unhappy wives have in their 
 desperation been driven to attempt self-destruction, that having 
 no clue in the name, which solely out of love for my poor 
 friend, I have all through this narrative given her, they will 
 not know who to fix upon as the person to whom I allude. 1 
 
 1 Besides poor Mary's family, in every other instance [with the solitary 
 exception of Sister Ann — my " talkative friend " — who is still living, and is 
 
Mary Burton. 355 
 
 There is, however, one still living — he will know — let his own 
 conscience be his accuser. 
 
 In about half an hour's time, Mary began to recognize those 
 who were around her, but she did not seem disposed to speak. 
 She opened ber eyes and looked dreamily at me for a long 
 time, but the slight pressure of my hand was her only recog- 
 nition of my presence. I bent down over her and whispered 
 a few assuring words in her ear, and for a moment a faint, 
 weary smile lighted up her thin, pale face. It was not like 
 the sweet smiles of the by-gone days which used to suffuse her 
 whole countenance with sunshine — it was but the very ghost of 
 a smile. Presently she sank into a gentle slumber ; but I 
 still sat by her on the bed, holding her hand in mine, and I 
 remained there for two or three hours. Then, after seeing 
 that everything was at hand which she could possibly want if 
 she awoke, and assured by Ellen that she would not leave her 
 until she was able to sit up, I left for my own home. 
 
 At the bottom of the stairs, in the hall-way, I was con- 
 fronted by Elder Shrewsbury himself. This surprised me, as 
 hitherto he had most sedulously avoided coming in contact with 
 me. He gave me one searching glance, as if to read my 
 thoughts, and then said : " Sister Stenhouse, this is a most 
 unhappy affair, but say nothing about it — no good can come of 
 talking of such matters." 
 
 I assured him that for Mary's sake — not for his — I would 
 not speak of what had transpired; but when he held out his 
 hand for me to shake, I affected not to see it, but wished him 
 good-morning, and left the house. 
 
 For some time she said nothing to me about the sad event 
 which had so greatly troubled us, and when at length she 
 hesitatingly alluded to it, I was much relieved to find that the 
 taking of the deadly drug was on her part wholly accidental. 
 It was as I from the first suspected — for I knew and loved my 
 dear friend too well to wrong her even by a thought. Cruelly 
 as she had suffered, wretched and miserable as she was, bit- 
 terly as she felt, the instincts of her heart were too true and 
 her nature too noble to allow of her seeking oblivion from her 
 troubles in voluntary and premeditated death, as I have known 
 was the case with many wretched Mormon wives. She had 
 only thought to take an opiate to soothe the feverish excite- 
 
 r,o well known in Salt Luke City], I have been a9 scrupulous in giving real 
 names as I have been in stilting only facts which I had either witnessed or 
 knew beyond question were true. 
 
 A a 2 
 
356 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 merit which had almost bereft her of reason, and, in the weak 
 and enfeebled condition in which she was, the draught had 
 been too powerful for her. Guiltless as she was, she dreaded 
 that others might impute wrong motives to her in what she 
 had done ; and even to me she spoke of her sickness painfully 
 and with hesitation. 
 
 After this, I called day after day upon my poor friend, until 
 she was sufficiently recovered to walk about and even to get 
 out of doors a little. The story of the unhappy attempt which 
 she was supposed to have made upon her life, by some means, 
 however, got rumoured abroad, and she heard of it. She said 
 nothing at the time, but I believe it preyed upon her mind. 
 Weak and failing in health, as she long had been, the shock 
 which her system had received was too much for her, and it 
 was evident to every one who saw her that her earthly trials 
 would soon be ended. She sank gradually, and life ebbed from 
 her gently and without pain. A few days before she died, she 
 sent for me, and I spent several hours with her. I might say 
 that they were happy hours ; for the near prospect of death 
 seemed to have dispelled all those gloomy fears of the future 
 life which had for so many years troubled her soul ; and she 
 now looked forward with peaceful resignation to her approach- 
 ing change. Death came at last to her when she was sleeping, 
 and she passed away tranquilly and without a sigh. I almost 
 rejoiced when I heard that at last her weary journey was over, 
 and she was at rest. I loved her with the fondest affection, 
 and shall never think of her without bitter feelings towards 
 that unholy system which brought her to an untimely grave. 
 
357 
 
 CHAPTER XXXIX. 
 
 MY HUSBAND DISFELLOWSHIPPED WE APOSTATIZE — BRUTAL 
 
 OUTRAGE UPON MY HUSBAND AND MYSELF. 
 
 Notwithstanding all my own personal troubles and the diffi- 
 culties which surrounded us, the loss of my dear friend affected 
 me very deeply. And yet her story is the same as might be 
 told of hundreds of other English girls who have been lured 
 from their happy homes and have died broken-hearted and 
 neglected in Utah. 
 
 Now came that change in our life which I had so long 
 hoped for, but which had always seemed to me so very far 
 distant. We had been tossed by many a storm, but the vio- 
 lence of this last gale was such that it forced us clean out of 
 the sea of Mormonism, and landed us high and dry upon the 
 firm ground of Apostasy. 
 
 About the time when my husband returned with his paper 
 to Salt Lake City, the Utah Magazine, a liberal journal just 
 struggling into existence, began to call in question some of 
 Brigham's measures; and the editors, who were all men of some 
 mark in the Mormon Church, presumed to hint that the people 
 had rights and privileges as well as the Priesthood. This was 
 done in a very quiet, unobtrusive way; but it was, nevertheless, 
 pronounced rebellion and apostasy. My husband's paper was 
 silent upon the subject; and, in consequence, he was suspected 
 of being in league with the enemy. This was another good 
 reason why the people should be " counselled " not to take 
 the Telegraph. Although he was not yet sufficiently advanced 
 in thought to give much direct aid to the questioners of 
 Brigham's authority, I saw with pleasure that he did not wish 
 to oppose them; the tone of his paper was evidently changing, 
 and the articles which appeared from time to time gave serious 
 offence to Brigham Young. This, however, was not all his 
 wrong-doing ; he had of late been neglectful in his attendance 
 at the " School of the Prophets " — a meeting which was then 
 held every Saturday for the benefit of the Elders. 
 
358 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 Together with the editors of the Utah Magazine, Mr. 
 Stenhonse and one or two others were summoned to appear at 
 the School, to give their reasons for previous non-attendance. 
 This they had all along anticipated, and were therefore not 
 surprised at the summons, hut they hardly expected that 
 Brigham would act so precipitately; for, without waiting to 
 hear their reasons, he disfellowshipped them all for irregular 
 attendance. 
 
 Brigham's assumption of the right to disfellowship men from 
 the Church because of irregular attendance at the School was 
 a stretch of authority which startled my husband : " What will 
 he not do next ? " he said. " To submit would be to acknow- 
 ledge him absolute, and myself a slave. There is but one alter- 
 native now — slavery or freedom. Cost me what it may, I ivill 
 be free ! " 
 
 In August of the same year my husband sent a respectful 
 and kindly letter to the Bishop of our ward, stating that he 
 had no faith in Brigham's claim to an " Infallible Priesthood," 
 and that he considered that he ought to be cut off from the 
 Church. I added a postscript, stating that I wished to share 
 my husband's fate — little thinking that within three days my 
 request would be answered in a too literal manner. 
 
 A little after ten o'clock on the Saturday night succeeding 
 our withdrawal from the Church, we were returning home 
 together. The night was very dark, and as our residence was 
 in the suburbs of the City, north of the Temple block, and the 
 road very quiet, the walk was a very lonely one and perhaps 
 not altogether too safe. We had gone about a third of the 
 way, when we suddenly saw four men come out from under 
 some trees at a little distance from us. In the gloom of the 
 night we could only see them very indistinctly, and could not 
 distinguish who they were. They separated ; and two of them 
 came forward and stumbled up against us, and two passed on 
 beside us. For a moment I thought that they were intoxicated, 
 but it was soon clear that they were acting from design. As 
 soon as they approached, they seized hold of my husband's 
 arms, one on each side, and held him firmly, thus rendering 
 him almost powerless. They were all masked, for it was sup- 
 posed that thus we should not be able to discover their identity, 
 and that if by any chance an investigation should subsequently 
 be made into the doings of that night it would not be possible 
 for any one to witness against them. 
 
 The movements of the two men who held my husband were 
 somewhat impeded by my clinging to his arm, and they seemed 
 
My Husband D is felloiv shipped. 359 
 
 to hesitate for a moment. The other two, who stood a few 
 feet dist nt from us, also hesitated. One of the men who 
 held my husband said to them, " Brethren, do your duty." We 
 recognized his voice at once as that of a policeman, Philips, a 
 young man whom we had known in Southampton, England, 
 when a child. 
 
 In an instant I saw them raise their arms, as if taking aim, 
 and for one brief second I thought that our end had now surely 
 come, and that we, like so many obnoxious persons before us, 
 were about to be murdered for the great sin of Apostasy. This, 
 I firmly believe, would have been my husband's fate, if I had 
 not chanced to be with him, or had I run away — they would 
 probably have beaten him to death — they were two of the 
 regular and two of the special policemen — and then, the next 
 morning, they would have "discovered" the body, and it 
 would have been said that he had been murdered by the 
 Gentiles or Apostates in a personal quarrel. My presence 
 somewhat disarranged their plans, and it was that probably 
 which caused the two men to hesitate, not knowing what would 
 be considered their " duty " under present circumstances. 
 
 A much less noble fate than assassination was reserved for 
 us. The wretches, although otherwise well armed, were not 
 holding revolvers in their hands as I first supposed. They 
 were furnished with huge garden-syringes charged with the 
 most disgusting filth, in the preparation of which they took 
 especial pains. So kindred to their own base natures was such 
 an act, that I doubt not they found it quite a labour of love. 
 The moment the syringes were pointed at us, my husband, 
 thinking a shot was coming, moved his head, and thus to a 
 certain extent escaped the full force of the discharge. I, how- 
 ever, was not so fortunate. My hair, bonnet, face, clothes, 
 person — every inch of my body, every shred that I wore — 
 were in an instant saturated, from head to foot. 
 
 The villains, when they had perpetrated this disgusting and 
 brutal outiiige, turned and fled. We ran after them for some 
 little distance, but we had no arms and nothing with which 
 to defend ourselves ; in fact, we pursued them instinctively 
 rather than with any idea of overtaking them. There was 
 another man standing a little distance off in the direction in 
 which they were running, and we could not tell how many 
 might be concealed. The place, too, was dark and lonely, for 
 they had gone behind the Temple block — a lit coiner for mur- 
 derers to skulk in ; a convenient spot for the commission of 
 any unholy deed. I was burning with indignation, and longed 
 
360 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 to revenge myself upon the brutal cowards who had assaulted 
 us. In my anger I called upon them to come and kill us out- 
 right, for I would have preferred death to such an indignity. 
 I almost wonder that they did not take me at my word and 
 return and finish their foul work, for they have long acted 
 upon the principle that " dead men tell no tales." 
 
 I shall never forget that night. I declared that henceforth 
 I would tear from my heart every association, every memory, 
 every affection, which still remained to bind me to Mor- 
 monism ; not one solitary link should be left. Henceforth I 
 would be the declared and open enemy of the Priesthood. To 
 the utmost of my power — weak though I might be — I would 
 arouse the women of Utah to a sense of the wrongs which 
 they endured ; I would proclaim to the world the disgrace 
 which Mormonism is to the great American nation, the foul 
 blot that it is upon Christianity and the civilization of the 
 age! 
 
 My son-in-law, Joseph A. Young, on the night of the attack, 
 offered a reward to the chief of the police for the apprehen- 
 sion of the ruffians ; but we knew well enough they would 
 never be discovered. A few Gentile friends also offered a 
 reward of five hundred dollars for any evidence that might 
 lead to their identification ; but nothing, of course, was 
 elicited. 
 
361 
 
 CHAPTER XL. 
 
 AMUSING TROUBLES OF MY TALKATIVE FRIEND 
 
 CHARLOTTE "WITH THE GOLDEN HAIR ! 
 
 Not long after our separation from the Mormon Church, I re- 
 ceived another visit from my talkative friend. 
 
 As, according to her custom, she was making a preliminary 
 " fuss " at the door before entering, I heard her voice, and was 
 at a loss to conjecture whether she came for the purpose of 
 lamenting my apostasy and entreating my immediate return to 
 the bosom of the Church, or to condole with me concerning the 
 brutal outrage to which we had been subjected. In both sup- 
 positions I was, however, mistaken — she came to talk about 
 her own woes. 
 
 " You'll be surprised, my dear Sister Stenhouse," she said, 
 " to see me looking so utterly miserable. I'm sure I must look 
 the picture of despair, and I feel it. You don't know what 
 I've been suffering, and how shamefully I have been used." 
 
 " You look very well I think, but I'm sorry to hear you 
 have met with any difficulty," said I, when she stopped for a 
 moment to take breath. 
 
 "Oh, you may say so," she replied, "but you know you 
 don't think so in your heart. Why, I did not even stop to put 
 on my bonnet straight," she said, stealing a look at the glass, 
 "and I ran all the way here, for I felt as if I should die if I 
 could not pour my sorrows into the bosom of some faithful- 
 hearted friend. Oh, I have been treated shamefully, and I 
 feel it the more as you know what a reserved woman I am, and 
 how seldom it is that I open my lips about family matters, eveu 
 to my dearest friends ! " 
 
 " Well, but," I said, " what really is the matter ? You have 
 not yet told me what your trouble is." 
 
 " Sister Stenhouse," she said, " you have had a few little 
 vexations in the course of your life, I know, but they are 
 nothing to compare to the frightful indignities that I have 
 suffered in the course of the last few days. I never thought 
 
362 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 I should come to this ! I hate every man in the place, and I 
 detest my husband most of all, and I loathe his wives, and I 
 execrate Brother Brig — " 
 
 " Why, Sister Ann, what can have happened ? " I exclaimed, 
 interrupting her. 
 
 " Happened ! " she cried, starting from her chair in indigna- 
 tion, " I tell you, Sister Stenhouse, nothing has ' happened ' — 
 nothing was done by chance — he did it all with his eyes open 
 and against my advice — -I tell you he did it on purpose!" 
 
 " Did what ?" I asked, " and who was it that did it ?" But by 
 this time I had begun to form a shrewd guess who the culprit was. 
 
 " Why, he married that wretched little shrimp of a girl, with 
 blue eyes and red hair, and a die-away, lackadaisical manner — 
 it was he — my husband Henry — he married her this very day, 
 and I tell you he did it on purpose ! " 
 
 "I'm sorry that it annoys you," I said ; "but really I am sur- 
 prised, after all you have said to me, that you should not care it 
 he had taken half-a-dozen wives, to say nothing of the one he 
 married this morning, and who you say is only a very little one." 
 
 " It doesn't matter the size, Sister Stenhouse," she said, " but 
 the colour of the eyes and the shade of the hair matters a great 
 deal. If that miserable little minx had had black hair or green 
 eyes, I daresay Henry would not have cared two straws about 
 her, unless he had done it out of sheer perversity, for all men 
 are made of the same contrary stuff. But he dotes on blue 
 eyes ; I heard him myself tell her so one day, when I was lis- 
 tening to them through the crack of the door, and they didn't 
 know I was so near. But my wounded feelings would not 
 suffer me to remain silent, and I bounced in, and, said I, 
 ' Henry, how dare you talk such outrageous nonsense to that 
 child in my presence?' 
 
 " ' But I didn't know you were present,' he said. 
 
 " 'I tell you,' said I, ' I'm quite disgusted with you ; a man 
 with three wives — and me one of them — to go talking twaddle 
 to a little chattering hussy like that, with her cat's eyes and 
 her red hair ! ' 
 
 " ' Golden hair, my dear,' he said, ' Charlotte's hair is golden.' 
 
 " ' I say red! — it's straight, staring red — as red as red can 
 be,' I told him ; and then we had a regular fight over it. I 
 don't mean that we came to blows, but we had some hot words, 
 and he went out and left us two alone. Then that young hussy 
 was impudent, and I don't know how it was, but somehow, 
 when we left off our conversation, I found some of Charlotte's 
 red hair between my fingers ; and there " — she said, innocently, 
 
Amusing Troubles of my Talkative Friend. 363 
 
 holding out quite a respectable sized tuft of auburn hair — 
 " there ; I put it to you, Sister Stenhouse, is that red, or is it 
 not ? " 
 
 I was about to reply ; but, without waiting an instant, she 
 dashed the stolen locks to the ground, and said, " I daresay, 
 Sister Stenhouse, you think me a little hasty, and yet among 
 my friends I've always been quite proverbial for the calmness 
 and evenness of my temper ; hut I've been tried very much 
 lately, and— if only you would not keep interrupting me, dear ! 
 — if you'd just allow me to say a word or two in my turn ! — I'd 
 tell you something that would open your eyes to the ingrati- 
 tude and wickedness of men. I don't wonder that you have 
 left the Church ; I am thinking of doing so myself, and you 
 won't wonder at it when you hear what I've got to say. What 
 do you say to my leaving the Church ? Wou't people be 
 astouished ? But I declare, Sister Stenhouse, I do seriously 
 mean to leave the Church as soon as I get my new bonnet — " 
 
 " Why your new bonnet ? " I asked in surprise. 
 
 " Because, dear, I shall become an ohject of interest. All 
 the sisters will have their eyes upon me, and even Gentiles 
 will say, ' There's a lady who had courage to leave the 
 Mormon Church and quit an ungrateful husband who was not 
 worthy of her.' And you know, Sister Steuhouse, it would not 
 do to have people looking at me and talking about me before I 
 got my new bonnet." 
 
 This was a rather amusing reason for delay in changing 
 one's religion, but it was quite characteristic of my friend. So 
 I humoured her a little, and tried to get her to explain how it 
 all came about. 
 
 " Oh, yes," she said, " I ought to have told you that before, 
 but I was t-o angry at what had just happened that I forgot 
 everything else. The fact is, my husband is a man, and there's 
 no calculating what a man will do. Women, you know, are 
 proverbial for the constancy of their affections and their slow- 
 ness in changing tlieir minds — you know when you're talking 
 to a woman that she is a woman, and you know exactly what 
 to do with her ; but with a man it's quite diff ivnt. You 
 can't calculate a man — you can't fathom him. When you've 
 been thinking one way and another, and at last b<-gin to 
 fancy you know what to do, why then, a man— if it's him 
 you've got to do with — will turn jut»t round, and while you've 
 been making everything smooth for him to do one thing, he'll 
 go and do exactly the opposite. I know what men are by 
 this time, and I s^eak from experience. 
 
364 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 " It wag just so with Henry and this girl. He has gone 
 quite against the grain with rue, and I feel it all the more be- 
 cause he used to be so quiet and anxious to do exactly what ] 
 wanted. But he doesn't care a fig now whether I'm pleased 
 or not — he only thinks about this red-headed girl. In fact, 
 he's quite crazy about her, and if there's any sin in apostasy, 
 you may remember that it was he who drove me into it." 
 
 " That seems hardly fair," I said, " for you knew all along 
 that it was his privilege to take more wives." 
 
 " That's very true," she exclaimed ; " it is his privilege to 
 take wives, but it's my privilege to choose them for him. I'm 
 a good Mormon, and I don't mind how many wives my hus- 
 band takes, if he'll only act reasonably about getting them. 
 But, Sister Stenhouse, I do not want a parcel of girls about the 
 house. I'm so far from wishing to usurp authority, that, as I 
 told Henry, I would not mind if his wives were even a little 
 older than me, but I won't have them younger. It makes 
 Henry look so silly. Why, to see him with that girl Charlotte, 
 now, who isn't more than half my own age — no ; I don't mean 
 that, I mean she's slightly younger than I am — you might 
 really almost imagine that he thought more of her than he 
 does of me. I know he doesn't, for he has told me so ; but 
 any one to see them together would get quite a wrong im- 
 pression." 
 
 " When did he marry Charlotte ? " I asked. " You spoke 
 so hastily, Sister Ann, that I did not quite understand you." 
 
 " When ? Why he married her this morning, as I thought 
 I told you ; he has only just done it. He said he was anxious 
 to be in a quiet state of mind to-day, so I gave him a piece of 
 my mind, and he was so astonished at the pointed way in 
 which I explained to him what a fool he'd been making of 
 himself that he quite showed it in his face. The fact is, Sister 
 Stenhouse, he has lately become rather more than I could 
 manage." 
 
 " Well, Sister," I said, " I should have thought that his 
 finding a wife for himself would have saved you a world of 
 trouble." 
 
 " Oh dear no, Sister Stenhouse," she replied; " it was trouble 
 I did not want to be saved. Men have no business, in my 
 opinion, to choose their own wives, after the first. I know the 
 men do do it, one and all ; but it's a shameful stretch of au- 
 thority. 1 should like to know whether it is not of much 
 more consequence to me what wife my husband has than it is 
 to him ? However, I resolved that my husband should never 
 
A musing Troubles of my Talkative Friend. 365 
 
 marry the red-headed girl, and I told him so ; and what do you 
 thiuk the inhuman creature said ? ' You've been persuading 
 me all these years,' he said, ' to take another wife, although 
 I've already got three, and now I've begun to do so you blame 
 me. I thiuk I've as good a right as any one to say who I'll 
 marry and who I won't.' Did you ever hear of such ingrati- 
 tude ? Would you hear of such a thing from your husbaud, 
 Sister Stenhouse ? " 
 
 I told her that with Mormonism my husband had given up 
 Polygamy, and she continued : 
 
 " Well, I tried to bring him to reason, but it was of no use. 
 And then I told him that the girl should never set foot inside 
 the house while I was in it. This was a very unfortunate 
 speech, for 1 do believe that up to that time he wanted as 
 much as possible to keep the girl out of my way ; but the 
 moment I said that, to show his dignity, I suppose, he declared 
 that she should come to tea with us that very afternoon, and 
 he would go and fetch her ; and he did so. I wouldn't go 
 down to tea at first, though both the other wives were there 
 and he sent up for me, but my pride would not allow me to 
 stoop. At last I got tired of being all alone, and as it occurred 
 to me that perhaps they might be eujoying themselves with- 
 out me, I resolved to go down and see if I could not do 
 something to annoy them. Down I went, and Henry, all 
 smiling, introduced the girl to me as ' Sister Charlotte,' talking 
 of her as if he had known her for years. Was it not shame- 
 ful ? " 
 
 " It must have been very awkward for you," I said. 
 " It was indeed, Sister Stenhouse, and I soon made it 
 awkward for them. I assure you, after I joined them, there 
 was not a soul present who had a moment's comfort till that 
 girl went away. My husband, however, took her home, and 
 from that very day he seemed resolved to have the upper 
 hand. He never for a moment would listen to a word I said 
 about the girl ; he brought her in every evening and took her 
 to the theatre constantly, and paid her ten times more atten- 
 tion than he ever paid me. I wasn't jealous, Sister Stenhouse ; 
 no one — as I said before — could ever suspect me of jealousy, 
 but I did hate that girl. If he had not loved her, I can't say 
 whether I myself might not have liked her. But the very 
 fact of him loving her makes me detest her ; but it's only a 
 little proper pride on my part — I'm not in the least jealous, 
 oh dear uo ! " 
 
 " Of course not," I said. 
 
2,66 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 " I don't know about that," she said, " I've borne enough 
 from those two to drive fifty women crazy with jealousy, and 
 things went on from bad to worse, until the other day when, 
 as I told you, we had that little unpleasantness. My husband, 
 when he came back, was downright angry, and made use of 
 shocking language, and told me that, if he could not have 
 peace in the house, he would have me board out by myself in 
 some other part of the city. He said that I had scratched 
 Charlotte's face and torn out her hair ; but that was quite 
 untrue, as I told him ; aud as for the hair which fell out, it 
 was all an accident. He said that Charlotte did not like such 
 accidents, and that he would not put up with it. He was very 
 cross and disagreeable all the rest of the day, and made me 
 quite miserable and broken-hearted; and the next day, to wind 
 it all up, he told me that he and Charlotte had arranged the 
 day of the wedding. I was forced to go over with him to the 
 Endowment House, to give him that detestable little vixen. I 
 tell you, Sister Stenhouse, I hate her ; and oh, oh dear, what 
 shall I do now my husband has fallen in love with her ! " 
 
 Here, to my infinite astonishment, she rose from her seat 
 and rushed about the room, wringing her hands and exclaim- 
 ing, " Oh dear ! oh dear ! " She then threw herself right 
 down on the couch and actually burst into tears, crying out, 
 " Oh dear, what shall I do with my Henry and that girl ! " 
 
 After that I did not see her for several weeks, and then I 
 accidentally met her in the street, and asked her why she had 
 not called upon me lately. 
 
 " Oh, Sister Stenhouse," she said, " I'm delighted to see you! 
 You've been constantly in my thoughts, but I've been so hard 
 at work — oh, so busy, that; 1 really had not time for anything 
 — not even to apostatize. Then, too, you see I've had my 
 hands full. If you want to make a man slight oue woman and 
 get tired of her, there's nothing like putting a nicer woman 
 than her in his way. So 1 reconsidered the matter and re- 
 solved, cost what it might, I'd get another wife for my husband 
 right away. I don't care now whether she's old or young, 
 ugly or pretty, so long as she cuts out that detestable red- 
 headed girl. I've run all over the town and rushed about 
 here and there, all for his sake, though he'll never be grateful 
 for it ; and now at last, do you know, dear, I really do think 
 I've got the girl I want. She's all dark — dark hair, dark 
 eyes, dark complexion. If he marries her, as I mean him to 
 do, she'll lead him a fine life, notwithstanding all her winning 
 ways. I wouldn't stand in his shoes when she's his wife ; but 
 
Amusing Troubles of my Talkative Friend. 367 
 
 I know / shall be able to manage her, for I have a deeper 
 insight into character than he has, and a better command of 
 temper. She'll teach Miss Charlotte to keep her place, and 
 she'll make Henry mind too. It'll do him good ; I've done it 
 all out of love to him, not a spark of jealousy or ill-feeling, as 
 you are well aware." 
 
 The idea of setting one wife against another, in order to 
 keep the peace, would appear in the case of my talkative 
 friend to have beeu successful ; for, sure enough, six months 
 after the time of which I have just spoken, her Henry did 
 marry the dark beauty, and she and her auburn predecessor 
 presented an interesting contrast when they chanced to appear 
 in the street together in the company of their husband. There 
 did not seem to be much love lost between them. 
 
 Successful in her plans, and having, as she said, now 
 brought her Henry to reason, my talkative friend gave up all 
 idea of leaving the Church, and when I last saw her she said, 
 " I'm busy now looking after a likely girl, for I do think a 
 man in my Henry's position ought to live his religion and have 
 at least seven wives ! — seven, you know, is such a very lucky 
 number." 
 
3^8 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 CHAPTER XLI. 
 
 AFTER WE LEFT THE CHURCH — INTERESTING FACTS AND 
 FIGURES THE MORMONISM AND MORMONS OF TO-DAY. 
 
 " The world was all before them where to choose 
 Their place of rest : with Providence their guide, 
 They bund in hand, with trembling steps and slow, 
 Through Eden took their solitary way." Paradise Lost. 
 
 When we left the Mormon Church, we were not quite as 
 badly off as were our first parents when they began life, 
 although in some respects we certainly resembled them. Tlie 
 world was all before us, and it was necessary that we also 
 should choose a place of rest ; but it was by no means an 
 Eden from which we were dismissed — or, rather, had dis- 
 missed ourselves — and in the matter of experience in the 
 thorny ways of that world in which we were about to begin 
 afresh the battle of existence, we certainly bad the advantage 
 over the exiles from Paradise. 
 
 The crisis of our own lives had now arrived. Tbe act of 
 sending in our resignation as members of the Church cut us 
 off from all the associations of the past and all the friendships 
 and pleasant intimacies of so many years. A great gulf 
 divided our by-gone life from the unknown future which lay 
 before us. 
 
 My husband was now made painfully aware that it was alto- 
 gether useless for him to attempt to carry on his paper; for 
 his subscribers, as I before stated, had been "counselled " to 
 discontinue taking it in. The Daily Telegraph had had a very 
 large circulation, but as there was very little money in the 
 Territory, the yearly subscriptions were mostly paid at harvest 
 time, and many of them in grain. At the time, therefore, 
 when the paper was finally given up, the Mormon people, as 
 the book-keeper in Ogden informed me, owed about twenty 
 thousand dollars ; but when it was discovered that we were 
 " Apostates," the majority of them considered that they were 
 released from all obligations on that score, and my husband 
 
After we Left the CJiarch. 369 
 
 being an easy, generous-minded man, most of them evaded 
 payment. The idea that, because we had left the Church, no 
 Saint was bound to pay us any debts which they might hap- 
 pen at the time to owe, was the natural result of the teachings 
 of the Tabernacle. Apostates are delivered over to " the 
 buffetings of Satan," and the Saints consider it is their duty 
 to begin in this world their master's work of castigation. Any 
 ill turn that can be done to an Apostate is consequently a 
 good action in the opinion of the Mormons, and they neglect 
 no opportunity of showing that these are the sentiments which 
 influence them. 
 
 Although we had now left the Mormon Church, never to 
 return, my husband could not at once shake off entirely that 
 influence which had so long held him captive. His thoughts 
 and belief, his hopes and ambitions, had for a quarter of a 
 century all pointed in one direction, and the very idea of 
 rebellion on his part against the authority of the Priesthood, 
 would, but a very little while before the time of which I speak, 
 have been considered by him an utter impossibility. It was 
 impossible, in a few short months only, to undo the work of 
 five-and-twenty years — the best years of his life. He could 
 no longer remain in the Church or conscientiously support 
 Brigham Young ; but he had not outgrown Mormonism suffi- 
 ciently to enable him to throw off the yoke entirely and make 
 his paper an opponent of Brigham and his faith. Could he 
 have done so, I think it is highly probable that the Telegraph 
 might yet have been saved, for I know that many of the more 
 influential of the Gentiles would have aided him materially in 
 such a course. As it was, nothiug remained but to give it up 
 with the best grace he could. 
 
 Two offers in reference to the paper were received by Mr. 
 Stenhouse, and it remained for him to decide which ho would 
 accept. ' One of them came from a Gentile, who proposed to 
 run it in opposition to Brigham Young, and the other came 
 from a certain Mr. Fuller, who had for some time been my 
 husband's travelling agent, and was a very intimate friend of 
 John W. Young, Brigham's youngest son by his first wife. 
 We knew that this Mr. Fuller had nothing beyond his salary; 
 but, as the friend of Brigham' 8 son, we thought that probably 
 it was the Prophet's wish that he should have this paper, and 
 we believed that he was simply buying it for the Church. My 
 husband argued that, although be could no longer unite with 
 the Mormons, he could at. Least refrain from doing them any 
 injury ; he therefore concluded that, rather than let the paper 
 
 b b 
 
370 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 go into the hands of an avowed enemy, he would sell it to Mr. 
 Fuller, who, on account of his friendship for the Prophet's 
 family, would, he presumed, try to be just to the people. 
 
 This, no doubt, was very conscientious and just, although, 
 of course, no Mormon would give my husband credit for en- 
 tertaining such sentiments. For my own part, I naturally 
 wished him to accept the offer that would pay him best, which 
 was that made by the Gentile. He could uot, however, bring 
 his mind to do this. The paper, therefore, was sold to Mr. 
 Fuller, who ran it for a few months and then himself ran 
 away, leaving behind him debts enough to swallow up every- 
 thing. Thus ended the Telegraph under that name, but des- 
 tined, however, to rise again as the Salt Lake Herald — a paper 
 devoted to the interests of Brigham and the Priesthood. To 
 my husband it was an utter loss, but it was hardly fair that 
 his conscientious conduct should meet with such an ill return. 
 
 It was now necessary that some steps should be taken to 
 provide for our family. The reader may, perhaps, remember 
 that when we first arrived in Salt Lake City, as I stated, I 
 myself engaged in business until my husband was able to find 
 some suitable and profitable employment. When the Tele- 
 graph, however, was established and proved such a great suc- 
 cess, and we were in a position of affluence, I considered — the 
 pressure of necessity being removed — that I should do well to 
 resign my own business connection and employ my time more 
 profitably in domestic affairs. This was a great relief to me, 
 for I always felt considerable repugnance to mixing with the 
 world in the way of business, while among my children and 
 attending to their wants and interests I found myself in my 
 own legitimate sphere. But there was now no alternative. 
 All interest in the Telegraph had been resigned ; my hus- 
 band's property had been wasted in an attempt to keep it up, 
 and he had nothing now to depend upon. Something must be 
 done, and I resolved that I would not be backward in bearing 
 my full share of the burden. 
 
 Jt was only natural that we should feel very much unsettled 
 in mind by the great change which had taken place in our 
 position, for it is no easy matter to cut asunder the ties and 
 associations of a lifetime. Any one suddenly changing his 
 religious faith would, to a certain extent, feel and understand 
 what I mean in this respect. But in reference to any ordinary 
 religion, the person forsaking it would probably experience 
 comparatively little alteration in his every-day life. In Mor- 
 monisna it is very different, especially to any one who has 
 
After we Left the Church. 371 
 
 occupied a prominent position among the Saints. To resign 
 our religion was to revolutionize our lives. Everything was 
 changed : the friends of years would look coldly on us and 
 avoid us ; persons whom we had before shunned as Gentiles 
 or Apostates would be the only individuals who would regard 
 us with favour ; our entire position in the midst of a most 
 exclusive community was completely reversed ; in a word, we 
 ourselves were now " Apostates ! " 
 
 Thinking to turn the current of his thoughts, and believing 
 that change would be beneficial to him, I suggested to my 
 husband that he should pay a visit to the Eastern States. In 
 New York I believed he could find employment which would 
 help to divert his thoughts from Mormon affairs, and, at the 
 same time, would be profitable to him in other respects. My 
 suggestion was acted upon, and my husband set out East, 
 while I prepared to engage again in the same business which 
 I had formerly conducted so successfully. 
 
 Now, for the first time since I embraced Mormonism, I 
 mixed freely with Gentiles and those who had left the Church, 
 and it was not long before I found that this intercourse with 
 the outer world produced a marked and decided effect upon 
 my mind. My views were enlarged, and my thoughts became 
 more liberal in their tone. My husband's letters showed me 
 that a similar change was taking place in him. 
 
 We were not the only Apostates from the Church at that 
 time. The New Movement, as the reaction against the 
 tyranny of Brigham Young was called, was then in progress ; 
 and the minds of all intelligent Saints were led to reflect upon 
 the unheard-of claims ofBrigham's "Infallible" Priesthood. 
 At this time the Prophet endeavoured to rivet still more firmly 
 the fetters which bound his deluded followers, by establishing 
 " Zion's Co-operative Mercantile Institution" and reviving 
 the " Ordfer of Enoch." 
 
 The Co-operative Institution was announced as a joint-stock 
 concern, established under the pretence that it would be a 
 benefit to the working classes, and all the members of the 
 Church were invited to purchase shares, which were sold at 
 twenty-five dollars each. The statement so often made by 
 Brigham and repeated by strangers, to the effect that the ex- 
 orbitant prices charged by Gentile merchants necessitated the 
 establishment of such an institution was, as every Mormon 
 knows, only a pretence, and a very shallow one too ; for the 
 Walker Brothers and other merchants had, for many years, 
 supplied goods to Mormons and Gentiles alike, at what, under 
 
 b b 2 
 
372 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 the circumstances, were reasonable and just prices ; for the 
 railway not then being constructed, and every article of com- 
 merce being of necessity carried across the Plains — a dis- 
 tance of over a thousand miles — by horse-teams, prices were, 
 of course, very high, and would, if this circumstance were not 
 taken into consideration, appear extortionate. In fact, subse- 
 quenty, the " Co-operative " stores, which had started with 
 high rates, under the belief that every rival would be crushed, 
 were compelled to lower their prices to those of the Walker 
 Brothers, or, in spite of their faith, the Mormons would have 
 forsaken Brigham's Institution for the sake of their pockets. 
 Many, in fact, did secretly go to Gentile stores, but they were 
 watched by the police and reported to the teachers. 
 
 That large Mormon store, in which Brigham Young had 
 such a heavy interest, was to become the parent establishment — 
 the fountain-head from which temporal blessings, in the shape 
 of cheap goods of every description, were to flow unto the 
 people. Each Ward was to have its own store, and there the 
 Saints of that Ward were expected to deal exclusively, and, a^ 
 the teachers said, " keep off Main street where the Gentile 
 stores were located." These Ward-stores purchased their 
 goods from the parent store, where nothing was sold by re- 
 tail. 
 
 All the lesser Mormon merchants were " counselled " to sell 
 out their stock to the Church, for just what the Church chose 
 to offer them, or dispose of it otherwise as best they could, 
 and then they might go farming, or on mission, or anything 
 else ; but sell out they must, for they were plainly told that 
 they would not be allowed to carry on business in opposition to 
 the new Institution. 
 
 Now, 'instead of benefiting the poorer Saints, by supplying 
 goods to them at a small advance upon cost prices, as was at 
 first proclaimed to be the object of the " Co-op " — as the In- 
 stitution was briefly and familiarly called — the reverse was the 
 case, for competition was altogether banished. All the trade 
 of the Gentile merchants — with one or two exceptions — was 
 forcibly taken from them, for the people were not to trade in 
 any store without first looking to see if the sign of the Insti- 
 tution — a picture of " The All-seeing Eye," and the words 
 " Holiness unto the Lord " were ever the doorway. How 
 ofteu I have seen groups of country people straggling along, 
 with their heads thrown back and their eyes straining aloft in 
 eager quest of that sign, although perhaps their purchases 
 would only amount to a few yards of ribbon or a paper of 
 pins ! 
 
After tve Left the Church. 373 
 
 No one can predict what the Church — otherwise Brigham — 
 will do, if money should chance to tempt him. In this case, 
 the parent Co-operative store turned, as I might say, traitor to 
 the Ward-stores — its own children — for no sooner had they 
 all been established, and had bought up all the old stock from 
 the parent store, than it was whispered abroad that the latter 
 was about to open in the retail line with a splendid stock of 
 new goods — to suit the Gentiles, of course ; for the Saints 
 were not allowed to trade outside of their own Ward-stores, 
 where they were expected to buy up all the old goods. In 
 fact, in order to gain Gentile trade and fill the pockets of Brig- 
 ham and the leading Elders who really constituted the Institu- 
 tion (and do so still), the same prices were asked at the parent 
 store as had been charged the poor confiding stock-holders of 
 the Ward-stores at wholesale. This, of course, caused great 
 dissatisfaction, and many of the Saints rebelled, declaring they 
 would go where they pleased to spend their money, when they 
 had any to spend. The Ward-stores, in consequence, were 
 obliged, at great loss, to lower their prices, and many were 
 utterly ruined. Others which had more capital tided over the 
 difficulty, and learned a lesson concerning the honesty of the 
 Church leaders which it is to be hoped did them good. 
 
 As an example of the way in which matters were managed, 
 I may instance a very old and infirm woman who was one of 
 their victims. She came to me one day and said, " Sister 
 Stenhouse, will you buy out my stock in the Co-operative store? 
 Our store has failed, and I have my twenty-five dollars' worth 
 in my basket. I pitied her and asked her to let me see her 
 stock, and thereupon she brought out a pound and a half of 
 nails ! I did buy out her stock, for I thought that the nails 
 might be handy to have in the house, although I did not give 
 her twenty-five dollars for them. Another person — a French- 
 man, whom I knew — bought a share, and when he saw certain 
 ruin looming over his Ward-store, he went to the head-quarters 
 and purchased twenty-five dollars' worth of goods, and having 
 got them all secured, laid down his shareholders' receipt in 
 payment and beat a hasty retreat. He was a fortunate man 
 and acted prudently, but alas ! for the poor souls who ven- 
 tured all their little savings in these Church " Institutions " and 
 then were left to poverty and starvation. 
 
 About this time, also, it was that the Mormon women, under 
 the auspices of Eliza R. Snow and the Female Relief Society, 
 got up a petition to Mrs. Grant, begging her to use her 
 influence with the President in favour of a toleration of 
 
374 -An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 Polygamy. The names to that petition were affixed without 
 any reference to propriety or right. Hundreds of names were 
 copied from the books of the Society without any permission 
 being obtained, or even asked, of their owners. It was then, 
 as I before stated, that the names of the dead were actually 
 added as subscribers to the petition ; and in one case, when a 
 lady mentioned that her dead daughter had never belonged to 
 the Church, as she died before her mother heard of Mormonism, 
 she was told that her daughter would now, of course, have 
 found out that Polygamy was the true order of domestic life 
 in heaven, and that she would certainly be willing to sub- 
 scribe if she could return to earth. Her name was, therefore, 
 ridded without any further ceremony, although she had been 
 dead a good many years. 
 
 In January, 1872, a counter-petition was got up by the 
 Gentile and Apostate ladies. It set forth the cruel bondage 
 which Polygamy inflicts upon women ; spoke of the heartless 
 conduct of the Mormon leaders, and of the murders and other 
 foul crimes which had been committed by them or at their 
 instigation ; showed that, should Utah become a State, under 
 the name of Deseret — which has ever been the ambition of 
 Brigham Young — there would be no protection for life or 
 property ; stated that the authorities themselves had declared 
 that when statehood was conferred, Gentiles and Apostates 
 would have good cause to tremble ; and, finally, prayed the 
 National Government to stretch forth its long arm of power 
 for the defence and protection of honest and law-abiding 
 citizens. This petition was signed by four hundred and forty 
 ladies of Utah, most of them members of the Mormon Church, 
 whose real names were -all fairly and openly affixed by their 
 own selves. It was presented to the Senate by the Hon. 
 Schuyler Colfax — then Vice-President ; was read, discussed, 
 and ordered to be printed. As might be supposed, it excited 
 a great deal of angry discussion on the part of the Church 
 authorities ; and the following Sundays the names of those 
 who had signed were read out in the Tabernacle, and strong 
 remarks made upon their conduct, in order to intimidate them 
 and prevent others from following their example. The conse- 
 quence was that many of their husbands and sons were 
 threatened with loss of employment, and they were thus 
 forced to retract. 
 
 That same year a bill was brought into the Territorial 
 Legislature, providing that boys of fifteen years of age and girls 
 of twelve might legally contract marriage, with the consent of 
 
After we Left the CJntrch. 375 
 
 their parents or guardians ! In stating this disgraceful fact, I 
 feel certain that the reader who lias never lived among the 
 Saints, and is not versed in Utah affairs, will think that I must 
 be mistaken in what I say. It is, however, I am sorry to say, 
 only too true, and the records of the Legislature will bear me 
 witness. 
 
 With the exception of the little literary efforts which I have 
 made from time to time to expose through the press the iniquity 
 of the " Celestial Order of Marriage,'' no event of more than 
 personal and private interest has, since I left the Mormon 
 Church, interrupted the even tenor of my life. Last year, 
 however, I was able to deal another blow — weak, it might be, 
 but still it was a blow — directed at that false system against 
 which I have sworn eternal enmity. I lectured upon Mor- 
 mon Polygamy in Washington and Boston, and other large 
 cities, and attempted in my humble way to attract the atten- 
 tion of the Gentile world to the iniquities of that terrible 
 superstition which, in Utah, has degraded womanhood and 
 wrecked the happiness of thousands of my deluded sisters. I 
 met with sympathy everywhere ; and then, as now, I resolved 
 that efforts like these I would never relax until, if God 
 spared my life, I should see the last stone in the fabric of 
 Mormonism overturned and Mormon Polygamy counted among 
 the sins and follies of the past. 
 
 His literary work accomplished, my husband returned to 
 Salt Lake City. Looking hack over the past, our Missionary 
 life and our faith in Brighamism seems like a dream, so diffi- 
 cult is it for us to realize that we ever submitted our souls to 
 the slavery of the Priesthood or placed any credence in that 
 mass of folly, superstition, and licentiousness, known as Mor- 
 monism. During all his efforts to obey counsel and build up 
 a " kingdom," my husband, I know, never ceased to love me. 
 For the misery which he then, in — as I firmly believe— his 
 conscientious endeavours to live his religion, inflicted upon me, 
 I have long ago freely and fully forgiven him. I think that 
 during all that time he never ceased to entertain the fondest 
 affection for me ; and, if he was foolishly confiding in those 
 who he believed were divinely authorized and speaking by in- 
 spiration, can I blame him when I remember that 1 myself 
 was actuated by the same faith ? 
 
 It was impossible to obliterate utterly the education and in- 
 fluences of a whole life's experience. That wall of partition — 
 Polygamy — which separated my husband from me for so many 
 years, is now for ever broken down. But the effects of Mor- 
 
376 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 monism will, no doubt, though unconsciously to ourselves, tinge 
 the whole of our future life. We can never forget the past. 
 The mournful sympathy which, according to the poet, the Peri 
 at the gate of Paradise expressed over the sins aud sorrows of 
 humanity, might, with a slight variation, be applied to our 
 own lives : — 
 
 " ' Poor race of men ! ' said the pitying spirit, 
 
 ' Dearly ye pay for your primal fall ; 
 Some traces of Eden ye still inherit, 
 
 But the trail of the serpent is over them all.' " 
 
377 
 
 L'ENVOI. 
 
 In the preceding pages I have endeavoured to present to the 
 reader the story of my life's experience in Mormonism and 
 Polygamy, and to place before him a truthful picture of the 
 doctrines and practices of the Saints. 
 
 Two objects influenced my mind when I first proposed to 
 write this volume. In the first place, I earnestly desired to 
 stir up my Mormon sisters to a just sense of their own posi- 
 tion. I longed to make them feel, as I do, the cruel degrada- 
 tion, the humiliating tyranny, which Polygamy inflicts. I 
 wanted to arouse them to a sense of their own womanhood, 
 and a just appreciation of those rights and duties which, as 
 women, God has conferred upon them. I was anxious that 
 they should understand and know the inconsistency and folly 
 of that superstitious faith by which they have been so egre- 
 giously deluded ; that they might learn to hate and loathe the 
 falsely-named " Celestial " system of marriage ; and rising in 
 honest indignation and disgust against the tyranny of the 
 oppressor, break asunder the yoke of bondage, cast from them 
 for ever the moral, religious, and social fetters wherewith 
 they are bound, and, walking in the light of truth, assert 
 their perfect equality with their sons, their husbands, their 
 fathers, aud their brethren, and henceforth claim and occupy 
 that position which God assigned them, and which by right is 
 theirs ! 
 
 In the second place, I was anxious to enlist for them the 
 sympathy of the Gentile world. Most strenuous efforts have 
 been made, large sums of money have been spent, and secret 
 intrigues, as well as open and honourable negotiations, have 
 been carried on for the purpose of obtaining admission for 
 Utah into the Union, under the title of The State of Deseret. 
 The name " Deseret " itself is taken from the Book of Mor- 
 mon, and is said to signify in the celestial tongue a honey-bee; 
 wherefore it is that the escutcheon of Utah Territory is a 
 bee-hive; and to grant that name " Deseret" alone would be a 
 conce&sion to Mormon superstition. Out here in the Valley 
 
37$ An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 of the Great Salt Lake we are perfectly well aware that, with 
 Utah once admitted as a State, it would be almost impossible 
 for Gentiles to live peaceably and safely among the Mormons; 
 and of this fact their leading men and their official organs 
 have repeatedly boasted. With Utah as a State, the enslave- 
 ment of the people to the Priesthood would be complete, and 
 the cruel bondage of Polygamy would be rivetted a thousand 
 times more firmly upon the unfortunate women. I was 
 anxious, therefore, to attract the attention of Congress and the 
 nation at large to these facts ; that thus, when Mormon bills 
 and Mormon petitions, replete with falsified statistics, and 
 perverted, and — in many instances — utterly untrue, statements 
 are presented to the National Legislature, neither the repre- 
 sentatives of the nation nor the nation itself might be de- 
 ceived thereby. These were the two objects which I had 
 proposed to myself in writing my own experience as a wife 
 and mother among the Mormous, and I trust to some extent 
 at least I have realized them. 
 
 I send forth this little book with many earnest prayers and 
 many heartfelt aspirations that my Mormon sisters may be 
 benefited thereby. Out of the evil which man originates, 
 God alone can produce good ; and I trust that my feeble 
 attempt to portray the cruel wrong which Polygamy inflicts 
 upon the women of Utah may excite the sympathy of every 
 man and woman whose influence may avail to hasten that 
 time when this relic of ancient barbarism may be utterly 
 rooted out before the advancing civilization of the age. 
 
 The night — the gloomy night of superstition — cannot last 
 for ever. Already there are signs of the coming dawn. The 
 time, I trust and pray, will not long be delayed when the veil 
 shall be removed from the eyes of the enslaved men and 
 women of our modern Zion, i.nd they shall cast aside for ever 
 the yoke of the Priesthood. I trust that I shall yet live to see 
 the day when the Mormon wives and mothers shall awake to 
 a sense of their position and responsibilities, shall understand 
 that God never required that their womanhood should be de- 
 graded, their love crushed out, and the holiest instincts of 
 their nature perverted ; I trust to see them assert their in- 
 alienable rights — their womanly prerogatives — their very 
 birthright itself; I trust to see them shake off the slavery of 
 that cruel superstition which has so long held them captive; 
 1 trust to see them take their places side by side with Gen- 
 tile matrons — the honoured wives and mothers of the men of 
 Utah ; I trust to see that dark shadow banished from their 
 
L' Envoi. 379 
 
 features, banished from their hearts, banished from their lives; 
 I trust to see them Fkee ! 
 
 Full of love for them — my sisters, my friends, the compa- 
 nions of my life hitherto, whose religion was once my own, 
 whose hopes and joys I have shared, whose sorrows and trials 
 have been also mine — with hopeful prayer I lay down my pen 
 and present my labours to the world. And if my humble 
 efforts shall have conduced, even in the smallest degree, to 
 keep one sister from entering into this sinful " Order " ; if 
 they shall have aroused the women of Utah to investigate 
 the foundations of their faith, to calmly and impartially con- 
 sider the iniquities of the system of Polygamy, to renounce the 
 man-made slavery of the "Celestial Order"; if I shall be 
 found to have awakened in the minds of thinking men and 
 women a hatred for the licentious doctrine which enslaves the 
 wives and daughters of the Saints; if I have to any extent 
 enlisted active, practical sympathy in their behalf, I shall feel 
 that m}' endeavours have been abundantly rewarded, and that 
 my labours have not been bestowed in vain. 
 
380 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 POSTSCRIPT. 
 
 The publication of this book has probably contributed more to 
 bring the terrible realities of Mormon life to the knowledge of 
 the public, and to hasten their day of judgment, than has any 
 other human agency. 
 
 The officers of justice in Utah were from that time urged to 
 bring the notorious criminals to justice, but many well-contrived 
 plans for their airest failed in the accomplishment. 
 
 Unexpectedly, John D. Lee, the hero of the Mountain 
 Meadows Massacre, was, while visiting one of his wives, sur- 
 prised and placed under confinement in the U.S. Military Fort 
 near Beaver City. 
 
 In the summer of 1875 a lengthy trial ensued, and as 
 there were Mormons among the jurors, they failed to agree in 
 a verdict. 
 
 Public indignation grew intensely against the system of 
 falsehood constantly practised by the Mormon jurors, when 
 the Church or any of its leaders were interested in the courts, 
 and a second trial of John D. Lee was earnestly demanded. 
 
 During his first trial the Apostle George A. Smith, Brig- 
 ham's favourite and counsellor, who was undoubtedly the 
 instrument through whom Lee and his associates had been 
 " counselled " to destroy the emigrants, was still living, and 
 to screen him it was necessary that Lee should escape the 
 penalty of his crime. 
 
 Between the first and second trials of John D. Lee, Smith 
 died, and Lee might now confess what he pleased, for the 
 link in the chain of communication from Brigham Young to 
 the murderers was for ever broken. 
 
 Continually striving to gain the admission of Utah into the 
 Union as a State, and being always met with a repulse based 
 upon the wholesale murder crimes in Utah that had gone un- 
 punished, Brigham, having no longer anything to fear fromLee's 
 confessions of his (Brigham 's) complicity in the Mountain Mea- 
 dows Massacre, resolved to sacrifice Lee to appease the public 
 clamour ; accordingly the testimony from eye-witnesses was 
 
Postscript. 381 
 
 overwhelming, and Lee was condemned by his own Mormon 
 brethren, who for nearly twenty years had carried in their 
 minds this guilty evidence. 
 
 Lee was sentenced to be executed on the 23rd of March, 
 1877, and as he had the choice of the manner of his death, he 
 elected to be shot. The court so approved, and ordered him 
 to be, on the day named, taken to the Mountain Meadows, where 
 the great slaughter of the innocent men, women, and children, 
 had been consummated, to there meet his doom. 
 
 How truthfully I had told the story of this great crime will be 
 seen in the confession of Lee before his execution; and what a 
 dreadful commentary that document is on the Mormon Priest- 
 hood will be apparent to every intelligent reader. 
 
 Under the name of a Prophet of Jesus Christ, Brigham 
 Young could rule with unchallenged sway hundreds of thousands 
 of honest men and women, who were born of Christian parents, 
 and trained in the civilized customs of Europe and America ! 
 
 It would seem impossible, yet it is within this book revealed 
 to be an astounding and humiliating fact. 
 
 In the escort conducting Lee to the place of execution there 
 were in all about eighty persons, one of whom was a photo- 
 grapher, who deemed the circumstance worthy perpetuation 
 by the unerring camera. From one of those present I copy 
 the sketch of the ending of John D. Lee. 
 
 It was Friday morning when the party stopped at their desti- 
 nation, and Lee was immediately ordered to descend from the 
 waggon in which he rode, which he did without delay. 
 
 Marshal Nelson then read the orders of the court regarding 
 the execution, and when the reading was concluded, Lee was 
 asked if he had anything to say. Just at this moment the 
 photographer was arranging his camera to take a picture of the 
 prisoner. Lee caught sight of him, and pointing to him said, 
 " I want to see that man," and added in a louder voice, ad- 
 dressed to the photographer, "Come over here." 
 
 Mr. Fennimore, the artist, replied, " In a second, Mr. Lee," 
 and very soon after was by the side of Lee, who said, — 
 
 " I want to ask a favour of you, sir ; I want you to furnish 
 each of my three wives with a copy of the photograph — one to 
 Rachel A., Emma B., and Sarah C." 
 
 He had had in all eighteen wives ; but only the three 
 named remained. Rachel was the oldest and most faithful to 
 his interests. 
 
 The artist consented to do as he had been requested, 
 and Lee then sat for his picture, which was successfully 
 
3 82 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 taken. Then he arose and, looking over those standing about, 
 said, — 
 
 " I have but little to say this morning. Of course, I feel 
 that I am upon the brink of eternity, and the solemnity of 
 eternity should rest upon my mind at the present moment. I 
 have made out, or endeavoured to do so, a manuscript and an 
 abridged history of my life. This will be published. Sir, 
 [turning to District Attorney Howard] I have given my views 
 and feelings with regard to all these things. I feel resigned 
 to my fate. I feel as calm as a summer morning. I have 
 done nothing adversely wrong. My conscience is clear before 
 God and man, and I am ready to meet my Redeemer. This 
 it is that places me on this field. I am not an infidel ; I have 
 not denied God or His mercy. I am a strong believer in 
 these things. The most I regret is parting with my family. 
 Many of them are unprotected, and will be left fatherless. 
 When I speak of those little ones, they touch a tender chord 
 within me." 
 
 At this moment his voice trembled, and he perceptibly fal- 
 tered in his words. He continued, however, as follows : — 
 
 " I have done nothing designedly wrong in this affair. I 
 used my utmost endeavours to save those people. I would 
 have given worlds were they at my command to have avoided 
 that calamity, but I could not. I am sacrificed to satisfy feel- 
 ings, and am used to gratify parties ; but I am ready to die. 
 I have no fear of death. It has no terrors for me ; and no 
 particle of mercy have I asked for from court or officials to 
 spare my life. I do not fear death. I shall never go to a 
 worse place than the one I am now in. I have said it to my 
 family, and I will say it -to-day, that the Government of the 
 United States sacrifices their best friend, and that is saying a 
 great deal ; but it is true. I am a true believer in the Gospel 
 of Jesus Christ. I do not believe everything that is now prac- 
 tised and taught by Brighain Young. I do not agree with 
 him. I believe he is leading his people astray. But I believe 
 in the gospel as taught in its purity by Joseph Smith in former 
 days. I have my reasons for saying this. I used to make 
 this man's will my pleasure (evideutly alluding to Brigham 
 Young), and did so for thirty years. See how and what I 
 have come to this day ! I have been sacrificed in a cowardly, 
 dastardly manner. There are thousands of people in the 
 Church — honourable, good-hearted — whom I cherish in my 
 heart. I regret to leave my family. They are near and dear 
 to me. These are things to rouse my sympathy. I declare 1 
 
Postscript. 383 
 
 did nothing designedly wrong in this unfortunate affair. I 
 did everything in my power to save all emigrants, but I am 
 the one that must suffer. Having said this I feel resigned. 
 I ask the Lord, my God, to extend His mercy to me and re- 
 ceive my spirit. My labours are here done." 
 
 This ceremony, altogether, had occupied about an hour, and 
 it was now close upon eleven o'clock. The sun, which had 
 been fitfully bright during the morning, had become veiled 
 behind a passing cloud, yet the sky was only partially overcast, 
 as down the horizon were blight streaks of golden light ; and 
 the effect of light and shadow, as portrayed upon the scene, 
 soon to culminate in the execution of the law, was one that 
 seemed to be in full harmony with the painful silence that 
 prevailed. Then it was that the words upon the rude monu- 
 ment, which once had stood to mark the spot of the massacre, 
 came out with vivid force — 
 
 " Vengeance is mine, I will repay, saith the Lord." 
 
 The stillness of the occasion was broken by Lee's seating 
 himself, according to orders, upon the coffin provided for his 
 burial. He tried to appear calm as he faced the squad of sol- 
 diers whose rifles were soon to discharge their contents into 
 his body. A Methodist preacher, Parson Stokes, then knelt 
 beside the coffin and offered a short prayer, following which a 
 white handkerchief was placed over Lee's eyes. While the 
 marshal was arranging the handkerchief, Lee said in a low but 
 firm tone of voice — " Let them shoot the balls through my 
 heart ; don't let them mangle my body." 
 
 He was assured that the aim would be as true as possible, 
 and the marshal then stepped back and gave his order to the 
 five riflemen who had been selected to do the work, — 
 
 " Ready ! Aim ! Fire ! " 
 
 The men made ready by raising their weapons to the shoulder, 
 and then took deliberate aim at the blindfolded man, who was 
 about twenty feet off, and at the word " fire ! " the volley was 
 discharged, with but a single sound perceptible to the ear, and 
 Lee fell back upon the cotfin, dead, without a cry or even a 
 moan. He was shot through the heart, as he had hoped to 
 be, and died instantly. The marshal, after a few moments, 
 viewed the body, and said : " lie is quite dead ; the law is 
 satisfied at last." 
 
384 An Englishwoman in UtaJi 
 
 CHAPTER XLIV. 
 
 MOUNTAIN MEADOWS MASSACRE — COMPLETE CONFESSION 
 OF BISHOP JOHN D. LEE. 
 
 In the month of September, 1857, the company of emigrants, 
 known as the " Arkansas Company," arrived at Parowan, 
 Iron county, Utah, on their way to California. At Parowan 
 young Aden, one of the company, saw and recognized one 
 William Laney, a Mormon resident of Parowan. Aden and 
 his father had rescued Laney from an anti-Mormon mob in 
 Tennessee several years before, and saved his life. He 
 (Laney) at the time he was attacked by the mob was a Mor- 
 mon missionary in Tennessee. Laney was glad to see his 
 friend and benefactor, and invited him to his house and gave 
 him some " garden sauce " to take back to the camp with him. 
 The same evening, it was reported to Bishop (Colonel) Dame, 
 that Laney had given potatoes and onions to the man Aden, 
 one of the emigrants. When tbe report was made to Bishop 
 Dame, he raised his hand and crooked his little finger in a sig- 
 nificant manner to one Barney Carter, his brother-in-law, and 
 one of the " Angels of Death." Carter, without another word, 
 walked out, went to Laney's house with a long picket in his 
 hand, called Laney out and struck him a heavy blow on the 
 head, fracturing his skull, and left him on the ground for dead. 
 C. Y. Webb and Isaac Naoman, President of the " High Coun- 
 cil," both told me they saw Dame's manoeuvres. James 
 McGuftee, then a resident of Parowan, but through oppression 
 has been forced to leave there and is now a merchant in Pah- 
 ranagat Valley, near Pioche, Nev., knows these facts. About 
 the last of August, 1857, some ten days before the Mountain 
 Meadows Massacre, the company of emigrants passed through 
 Cedar City. George A. Smith, then first counsellor in the 
 Church and Brigham Young's right-hand man, came down 
 from Salt Lake City, preaching to the different settlements. 
 I at that time was in Washington county, near where St. George 
 now stands. He sent for me. I went to him and he asked 
 
Mountain Meadows Massacre. 3S5 
 
 me to take him to Cedar City by way of Fort Clara and Pinto 
 settlements, as he was on business and must visit all the set- 
 tlements. We started on our way up through the canyon. 
 We saw herds of Indians, and he (George A. Smith) re- 
 marked to me that these Indians, with the advantages they 
 had of the rocks, could use up a large company of emigrants, 
 or make it very hot for them. After pausing for a short time 
 he said to me, " Brother Lee, what do you think the brethren 
 would do if a company of emigrants should come down through 
 here making threats ? Don't you think they would pitch into 
 them ? " I replied that " they certainly would." This seemed 
 to please him, and he again said to me, " And you really 
 think the brethren would pitch into them ? " "I certainly 
 do," was my reply, " and you had better instruct Colonel 
 Dame and Haight to tend to it that the emigrants are per- 
 mitted to pass, if you want them to pass unmolested." He 
 continued, " I asked Isaac (meaning Haight) the same 
 question, and he answered me just as you do, and I expect 
 the boys would pitch into them." I again said to him that he 
 had better say to Gov. Young that if he wants emigrant com- 
 panies to pass without molestation that he must instruct Col. 
 Dame or Major Haight to that effect ; for if they are not 
 ordered otherwise they will use them up by the help of the 
 Indians. He told the people at the Clara not to sell their 
 grain to the emigrants, nor to feed it to their animals, as they 
 might expect a big fight the next spring with the United 
 States. President Young did not intend to let the troops 
 into the territory. He said : " We are going to stand up for 
 our rights, and will no longer be imposed upon by our enemies, 
 and want every man to be on hand with bis gun in good order 
 and his powder dry," and instructed the people to part with 
 nothing that would sustain life. From the 1st to the 10th 
 of September, 1N57, a messenger came to me — his name was 
 Sam Wood — and told me that President Isaac C. Haight 
 wanted me to be at Cedar City that evening without fail. 
 This was Saturday. He told me that a large company of 
 emigrants had gone south. I think he lived at Harmony, 
 twenty miles south of Cedar City. 
 
 I obeyed the summons. President Haight met me. It 
 was near sundown. We spent the night in an open house on 
 some blankets, where we talked most all night. He told me 
 that a company of emigrants had passed through some two 
 days before, threatening the Mormons with destruction, and 
 that one of them had said he had helped to kill old Joe Smith 
 
 c c 
 
386 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 and his brother Hyrum, that other members of the company 
 of emigrants had helped drive the Mormons out of Missouri ; 
 that others had said they had come to help Johuson's army 
 clean the Mormons out of Utah ; that they had the halters 
 ready to hang old Brigham and Heber, and would have them 
 strung up before the snow flew ; that one of the emigrants 
 called one of his oxen (a pair of stags) " Brig." and the other 
 "Heber;" and that several of the emigrants had used all 
 kinds of threats and profanity. John M. Higbee, the City 
 Marshal, had informed them that it was a breach of the city 
 ordinance to use profane language, whereupon one of them 
 
 replied that he did not care a for the Mormon laws or 
 
 the Mormons either ; that they had fought their way through 
 
 the Indians, and would do it through the Mormons ; 
 
 and if their god, old Brigham, and his priests would not sell 
 
 their provisions, by they would take what they wanted 
 
 any way they could get it ; that thus enraged, one of them let 
 loose his long whip and killed two chickens, and threw them 
 into the waggon ; that the widow Evans said, " Gentlemen, 
 those are my chickens ; please don't kill them ; I am a poor 
 widow ; " that they ordered her to " shut up," or they would 
 
 blow her brains out, etc. ; that they had been raising 
 
 trouble with all the settlements and Indians on their way ; 
 that we were threatened on the North by Johnson's army ; 
 that now our safety depended on prompt and immediate ac- 
 tion ; that a company of Indians had ahead}' gone South 
 from Parowan and Cedar City to surprise the emigrants, who 
 were then at the Mountain Meadows, and he wanted me to 
 return home in the morning (Sunday), and send Carl Schurtz 
 (Indian interpreter) from. my home (Harmony), to raise the 
 Indians South, at Harmony, Washington, and Santa Clara, to 
 join the Indians from the North and make the attack upon 
 the emigrants at the Meadows. I said to him, " Would it 
 not be well to hold a council of the brethren before making 
 a move?" He replied that "every true Latter-Day Saint 
 that regarded their covenants knew well their duty, and that 
 the company of emigrants had forfeited their lives by their 
 acts," and that Bishop P. K. Smith (Klingensmith) and Joel 
 White had already gone by way of Pinto, to raise the Indians 
 iu that direction, and those that had gone from Parowan and 
 here would make the attack, and might be repulsed. " We 
 can't now delay for a council of the brethren. Return imme- 
 diately, and start Carl Schurtz ; tell him that I ordered you to 
 tell him to go ; and I want you to try and get there before the 
 
Mountain Meadows Massacre. 387 
 
 attack is made, and make the plan for the Indians, and will 
 send Nephi Johnson, the interpreter, to the Meadows as soon 
 as he can be got to help Carl Schurtz manage the Indians." 
 I did just as I was ordered. The Indians from the North and 
 about Harmony had already started for the Meadows before 
 I reached home. Schurtz started immediately to do his part. 
 
 I arrived at home in the night, and remained till morning. 
 I thought over the matter, and the more I thought the more 
 my feelings revolted against such a horrid deed. Sleep had 
 fled from me. I talked to my wife Rachel about it. She felt 
 as I did about it, and advised me to let them do their own 
 dirty work, and said that if things did not go just to suit them 
 the blame would be laid on me. She never did believe in 
 blood atonement, aud said it was from the devil, and that she 
 would rather break such a covenant, if she had to die for so 
 doing, than to live and be guilty of doing such an act. I 
 finally concluded that I would go ; that I would start by day- 
 break in the morning, and try to get there before an attack 
 was made on the company, and use my influence with the 
 Indians to let them alone. I crossed the mountains by a trail, 
 and reached the Meadows between nine and ten in the morn- 
 ing, the distance from my place being about twenty-five 
 miles. But I was too late. The attack had been made just 
 before daybreak in the morning, the Indians repulsed, with 
 one killed and two of their chiefs from Cedar City shot 
 through the legs, breaking a leg for each of them. The 
 Indians were in a terrible rage. I went to some of them that 
 were in a ravine. They told me to go to the main body, or 
 they would kill me for not coming before the attack was 
 made. While I was standing there I received a shot just 
 above the belt, cutting through my clothes to the skin, some 
 six inches across. The Indians with whom I was talking 
 lived with me at Harmony. I was Indian Farmer. They 
 told me I was in danger, and to get down into the ravine. I 
 said that it was impossible for me to do anything there, and 1 
 dare not venture to the camp of the emigrants without en- 
 dangering my life. I mounted my horse and started south 
 to meet Carl Schurtz. I travelled sixteen miles and stopped 
 on the Megotsy to bait my animal, as there was good grass 
 and water. I had rode over forty miles without eating or 
 drinking. This is the place where Mr. Tobin met his as- 
 sassinators. About sunset I saw Schurtz and some ten or 
 fifteen white men and about one hundred and fifty Indians. 
 We camped. 
 
 c 2 
 
388 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 During the night the Indians left for the Meadows. I 
 reported to the men what had taken place. They attacked 
 the emigrants again, about sunrise the next morning, which 
 was Tuesday, and had one of their number killed and several 
 wounded. I, with the white men, reached the Meadows about 
 one o'clock p. m. On the way we met a small band of 
 Indians returning, with some eighteen or twenty head of 
 cattle. One of the Indians was wounded in the shoulder. 
 They told me that the Indians were encamped east of the 
 emigrants, at some springs. On our arrival at the springs we 
 found some two hundred Indians, among whom were the two 
 wounded chiefs, Moqueetus and Bill. The Indians were in a 
 high state of excitement ; had killed many cattle and horses 
 belonging to the company. I counted sixty head near their 
 encampment, that they had killed in revenge for the wounding 
 of their men. By the assistance of Oscar Hamblin (brother 
 of Jacob Hamblin) and Schurtz, we succeeded in getting the 
 Indians to desist from killing any more stock that night. 
 The company of emigrants had corraled all their waggons but 
 one for better defence. This corral was about one hundred 
 yards above the springs. This they did to get away from the 
 ravine and from the rocks on the west. The attack was 
 renewed that night by the Indians, in spite of all we could do 
 to prevent it. 
 
 When the attack commenced, Oscar Hamblin, William 
 Young, and myself started to go to the Indians. When oppo- 
 site the corral, on the north, the bullets came around us like a 
 shower of hail. We had two Indians with us to pilot us ; they 
 threw themselves flat on the ground to protect themselves 
 from the bullets. I stood erect and asked my Father in 
 heaven to protect me from the missiles of death, and enable 
 me to reach the Indians. One ball passed through my hat 
 and the hair of my head, and another through my shirt, graziDg 
 my arm near the shoulder. A most hideous yell of the Indians 
 commenced. The cries and shrieks of the women and chil- 
 dren so overcame me that I forgot my danger and rushed 
 through the fire to the Indians, and pleaded with them, in 
 tears, to desist. I told them that the Great Spirit would be 
 angry with them for killing women and little children. They 
 told me to leave or they would serve me the same way, and 
 that I was not their friend, but a friend of their enemies ; 
 that I was a squaw, and did not have the heart of a brave, 
 and that I could not soe blood shed without crying like a baby, 
 and called me cry-baby, and by that name I am known by all 
 
Mountain Meadows Massacre. 3 S9 
 
 the Indians to this clay. I owe my life on that occasion to 
 Oscar Amblin, who was a missionary with the Indians, and 
 had much influence with the Santa Clara Indians. They were 
 the ones that wanted to kill me. Hamblin shamed them, and 
 called them dogs and wolves for wanting to shed the blood of 
 their father (myself), who had fed and clothed them. We 
 finally prevailed on them to return to camp, where we would 
 hold a council ; that I would send for big Captains to come 
 and talk. We told them that they had punished the emigrants 
 enough, and may be they had killed nearly all of them. We 
 told them that Bishop Dame and President Haight would 
 come, and may be they would give them part of the cattle, 
 and let the company go with the teams. In this way we 
 reconciled them to suspend hostilities for the present. The 
 two that had been with Hamblin and myself the night before 
 said they had seen two men on horseback come out of the 
 emigrant's camp under full speed, and that they went toward 
 Cedar City. 
 
 Wednesday morning I asked a man — I think his name was 
 Edwards — to go to Cedar City and say to President Haight, 
 for God's sake, for my sake, and for the sake of suffering 
 humanity, to send out men to rescue that company. This day 
 we all lay still, waiting orders. Occasionally a few of the 
 Indians withdrew, taking a few head of animals with them. 
 About noon I crossed the valley north of the corral, thinking 
 to examine their location from the west range. The company 
 recognized me as a white man, and sent two little boys, about 
 four years old, to meet me. I hid from them, fearing the In- 
 dians, who discovered the children. I called the Indians, who 
 wanted my gun or ammunition to kill them. I prevailed with 
 them to let the children go back to camp, which they very 
 soon did when they saw the Indians. I crept up behind some 
 rock, on the west range, where I had a full view of the corral. 
 In it they had dug a rifle-pit. The wheels of their waggons 
 were chained together, and the only chance for the Indians 
 was to starve them out, or shoot them as they went for 
 water. I lay there some two hours, and contemplated their 
 situation, and wept like a child. When I returned to camp, 
 some six or eight men had come from Cedar City. Joel 
 White, William C. Stewart, and Elliot C. Weldon, were among 
 the number, but they had no orders. They had come merely 
 to see how things were. The Meadows are about fifty miles 
 from Cedar City. Thursday afternoon the messenger from 
 Cedar City returned. He said that President Haight had 
 
390 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 gone to Parowan to confer with Col. Dame, and a company of 
 men and orders would be sent on to-morrow (Friday) ; that up 
 to the time he had left, the council had come to no definite 
 conclusion. During this time the Indians and men were 
 engaged in broiling beef and making up their hides into lassos. 
 I had flattered myself that bloodshed was at an end. After 
 the emigrants saw me cross the valley, they hoisted a white 
 flag in the midst of their corral. 
 
 Friday afternoon four waggons drove up with armed men. 
 When they saw the white flag in the corral, they raised one 
 also, but drove to the springs where we were, and took refresh- 
 ment, after which a council meeting was called of Presidents, 
 Bishops, and other Church officers and members of the High 
 Council, societies, High Priests, &c. Major John M. Higbee 
 presided as chairman. Several of the dignitaries bowed in 
 prayer, invoked the aid of the Holy Spirit to prepare their 
 minds, and guide them to do right, and carry out the counsels 
 of their leaders. Higbee said that " President J. C. Haight 
 had been to Parowan to confer with Col. Dame and their 
 counsel, and orders were that this emigrant camp must be 
 used up." I replied, " Men, women, and children ? " " All," 
 said he, "except such as are too young to tell tales; and if the 
 Indians cannot do it without help, we must help them." I 
 commenced pleading for the company, and I said, though some 
 of them have behaved badly, they have been pretty well 
 chastised. My policy would be to draw off the Indians, let 
 them have a portion of the loose cattle, and withdraw with 
 them, under promise that they would not molest the company 
 any more ; that the company would then have teams enough 
 left to take them to California. I told them that this course 
 could not bring them into trouble. Higbee said, " White 
 men have interposed, and the emigrants know it, and there 
 lies the danger in letting them go." I said, " What white 
 man interfered ? " He replied that in the attack on Tuesday 
 night two men broke out of the corral and started for Cedar 
 City on horseback ; that they were met at Richey's Spring 
 by Stewart, Joel White, and another man, whose name has 
 passed from me. Stewart asked the two men their names 
 when they met at the spring, and being told in reply by one of 
 the men that his name was Aden, and that the other was a 
 Dutchman from the emigrant's company, Stewart shoved a 
 pistol to Aden's breast, and killed him, saying, " Take that, 
 
 you." The other man (the Dutchman) wheeled to leave 
 
 as Joel White fired and wounded him. I asked him how he 
 
Mountain Meadows Massacre. 391 
 
 knew the wounded Dutchman got back to the emigrants' 
 camp. He said because he was tracked back, and they knew 
 lie was there. I again said that it was better to deliver 
 the man to them, and let them do anything they wished with 
 them, and tell them that we did not approve such things. 
 Ira Allen, high councillor, and Robert Wiley, and others, 
 spoke, reproving me sharply for trying to dictate to the priest- 
 hood ; that it would set at naught all authority; that he would 
 not give the life of one of our brethren for a thousand such 
 persons. " If we let them go," he continued, " they will raise 
 hell in California, and the result will be that our wives and 
 children will have to be butchered, and ourselves too, and 
 they are no better to die than ours, and I am surprised to hear 
 Brother Lee talk as he does, as he, who has alwa)'s been con- 
 sidered one of the staunchest in the Church, now is the first 
 to shirk from his duty." I said, " Brethren, the Lord must 
 harden my heart before I can do such a thing." Allen said, 
 " It is not wicked to obey counsel." At this juncture I with- 
 drew, walked off some fifty paces, and prostrated myself on 
 the ground and wept in the bitter anguish of my soul, and 
 asked the Lord to avert that evil. 
 
 While in that situation Councillor C. Hopkins, a near friend 
 of mine, came to me and said, "Brother Lee, come, get up, 
 and don't draw off from the priesthood. You ought not to do 
 so. You are only endangering your own life by standing out. 
 You can't help it, if this is wrong; the blame won't rest on 
 you." I said, " Charley, this is the worst move this people 
 ever made ; I feel it." He said, " Come, go back, and let 
 them have their way." I went back, weeping like a child, and 
 took my place, and tried to be silent, and was until Iligbee 
 said they (the emigrants) must be decoyed out through pre~ 
 tended friendship. I could no longer hold my peace, and said 
 I, "Joseph Smith said that God hated a traitor, and so do I : 
 before I would be a traitor, I would rather take ten men, and 
 go to that camp and tell them they must die, and now to 
 defend themselves, and give them a show for their lives ; that 
 would be more honourable than to betray them like Judas." 
 Here I got another reproof, and was ordered to hold my peace. 
 The plan agreed upon there was to meet them with a flair of 
 truce, tell them that the Indians were determined on their 
 destruction; that we dare not oppose the Indians, for we were 
 at their mercy ; that the best we could do for them (the emi- 
 grants) was to get them and what few traps we could take in 
 the waggons, to lay their arms in the bottom of the waggon and 
 
392 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 cover them up with bed-clothes, and start for the settlement 
 as soon as possible, and to trust themselves in our hands. 
 The small children and wounded were to go with the two 
 waggons, the women to follow the waggons, and the men next, 
 the troops to stand in readiness on the east side of the road ready 
 to receive them. Schurtz and Nephi Johnson were to conceal 
 the Indians in the brush and rocks till the company was strung 
 out on the road to a certain point, and at the watchword, 
 " Halt ; do your duty !" each man was to cover his victim and 
 fire. Johnson and Schurtz were to rally the Indians, and rush 
 upon and despatch the women and larger children. It was 
 further told the men that President Haight said, if we were 
 united in carrying out the instructions, we would all receive 
 " celestial reward." I said I was willing to put up with a less 
 reward if I could be excused. " How can you do this 
 without shedding innocent blood ? " Here I got another lam- 
 pooning for my stubbornness and disobedience to the priest- 
 hood. I was told that there was not a drop of innocent blood 
 in the whole company of emigrants. Also referred to the 
 Gentile nations who refused the children of Israel passage 
 through their country when Moses led them out of Egypt — 
 that the Lord held that crime against them, and when Israel 
 waxed strong the Lord commanded Joshua to slay the whole 
 nation, men, women, and children. " Have not these people 
 done worse than that to us ? Have they not threatened to 
 murder our leaders and prophets, and have they not boasted 
 of murdering our patriarchs and prophets, Joseph andHyrum? 
 Now talk about shedding innocent blood." They said I was 
 a good, liberal, free-heartdd man, but too much of this sym- 
 pathy would be always in the way; that every man now had 
 to show his colours ; that it was not safe to have a Judas in 
 camp. Then it was proposed that every man express him- 
 self ; that if there was a man who would not keep a close 
 mouth, they wanted to know it then. This gave me to under- 
 stand what I might expect if I continued to oppose. Major 
 Higbee said, " Brother Lee is right. Let him take an expres- 
 sion of the people." I knew I dared not refuse ; so I had 
 every man speak and express himself. All said they were 
 willing to carry out the counsel of their leaders ; that the 
 leaders had the spirit of God, and knew better what was 
 right than they did. They then wanted to know my feelings. 
 I replied, I have already expressed them. Every eye was upon 
 me as I paused ; " but," said I, " you can do as you please ; I 
 will not oppose you any longer." " Will you keep a close 
 
Mountain Meadows Massacre. 393 
 
 mouth?" was the question. "I will try," was my answer. 
 I will here say that the fear of offending Brighani Young and 
 George A. Smith had saved my life. I was near being "blood- 
 atoned " in Parowan, under J. C. L. Smith, in 1854, but on 
 this I have spoken in my autobiography. 
 
 Saturday morning all was ready, and every man assigned to 
 his post of duty. During the night, or rather just before day- 
 light, Johnson and Schurtz ambushed their Indians, the better 
 to deceive the emigrants. About 11 o'clock a. ra. the troops 
 under Major Higbee took their position on the road. The 
 white flag was still kept up in the corral. Higbee called Wil- 
 liam Bateman out of the ranks to take a flag of truce to the 
 corral. He was met about half way with another white flag 
 from the emigrants' camp. They had a talk. The emigrant 
 was told we had come to rescue them if they would trust us. 
 Both men with flags returned to their respective places and 
 reported, and were to meet again and bring word. Higbee 
 called me out to go and inform them the conditions, and 
 if accepted, Dan McFarland, brother to John McFarland, 
 lawyer, who acted as aid-de-camp, would bring back word, and 
 then the waggons would be sent for the firearms, children, cloth- 
 ing, etc. I obeyed, and the terms proposed were accepted, 
 but not without distrust. I had as little to say as possible ; 
 in fact, my tongue refused to perform its office. I sat down 
 on the ground in the corral, near where some young men were 
 engaged in paying their last respects to some person who had 
 just died of a wound. A large fleshy old lady came to me 
 twice, and talked while I sat there. She related their troubles; 
 said that seven of their number were killed, and forty-seven 
 wounded on the first attack ; that several had died since. She 
 asked me if I were an Indian agent. I said, "In one sense I 
 am, as Government has appointed me farmer to the Indians." 
 I told her this to satisfy her. I heard afterwards that the same 
 question was asked and answered in the same manner by 
 McFarland, who had been sent by Higbee to the corral to "hurry 
 me up, for fear that the Indians would come back and be upon 
 them." 
 
 When all was ready, Samuel McMurdy, counsel to Bishop 
 P. K. Smith (Klingensmith), drove out on the lead. His 
 -waggon had the seventeen children, clothing, and arms. 
 Samuel Knight drove the other team, with live wounded men 
 and one boy about fifteen years old. I walked behind the 
 front waggon to direct the course, and to shun being in the heat 
 of the slaughter; but this I kept to myself. When we got 
 
394 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 turned fairly to the east, I motioned to McMurdy to steer 
 north, across the valley. I, at the same time, told the women, 
 who were next to the waggon, to follow the road up to the 
 troop, which they did. Instead of saying to McMurdy not 
 to drive so fast (as he swore on my trial), I said to the con- 
 trary, to drive on, as my aim was to get out of sight before 
 the firing commenced, which we did. We were about half a 
 mile ahead of the company when we heard the first firing. 
 We drove over a ridge of rolling ground, and down on a 
 low flat. The firing was simultaneous along the whole line. 
 The moment the firing commenced McMurdy halted and 
 tied his lines across the rod of the waggon-box, stepped 
 down coolly with double-barrelled shot-gun, walked back to 
 Knight's waggon, who had the wounded men, and was about 
 twenty feet in the rear. As he raised his piece, he said, 
 " Lord, my God, receive their spirits, for it is for the kingdom 
 of heaven's sake that we do this," fired and killed two men. 
 Samuel Knight had a muzzle-loading rifle, and he shot and 
 killed the three men, then struck the wounded boy on the head, 
 who fell dead. In the meantime I drew a five-shooter from 
 my belt, which accidentally went off, cutting across McMurdy's 
 buskin pantaloons in front, below the crotch. McMurdy said, 
 " Brother Lee, you are excited ; take things cool ; you was 
 near killin' me. Look where the bullet cut," pointing to the 
 place in his pantaloons. At this moment I heard the scream 
 of a child. I looked up and saw an Indian have a little boy 
 by the hair of his head, dragging him out of the hind end of 
 the waggon, with a knife in his hand, getting ready to cut his 
 throat. I sprang for the Indian with my revolver in baud, 
 and shouted to the top of my voice, "Arick, oomo, cot too 
 sooet" (stop, you fool!). The child was terror-stricken. 
 His chin was bleeding. I supposed it was the cut of a knife, 
 but afterwards learned that it was done on the waggon-box, as 
 the Indian yanked the boy down by the hair of the head. I 
 had no sooner rescued this child than another Indian seized a 
 little girl by the hair. I rescued her as soon as I could speak; 
 I told the Indians that they must not hurt the children — that 
 I would die before they should be hurt ; that we would buy 
 the children of them. Before this time the Indians had 
 rushed around the waggon in quest of blood, and despatched 
 the two runaway wounded men. In justice to my statement 
 I would say that if my shooter had not prematurely exploded, 
 I would have had a hand in despatching the five wounded. I 
 had lost control of myself, and scarce knew what I was about. 
 
Mountain Meadows Massacre. 395 
 
 I saw an Indian pursue a little girl who was fleeing. He 
 caught her about one hundred feet from the waggon, and 
 plunged his knife through her. I said to McMurdy that he 
 had better drive the children to Hamblin's ranch, and give 
 them some nourishment, while I would go down and get my 
 horse at the camp. Passing along the road I saw the dead 
 strung along the distance of about half a mile. The women 
 and children were killed by the Indians. I saw Schurtz with 
 the Indians, and no other white man with them. When I 
 came to the men, they lay about a rod apart. Here I came up 
 with Higbee, Bishop Smith, and the rest of the company. 
 
 As I came up, Higbee said to me, " Let us search these 
 persons for valuables," and asked me to assist him ; gave me 
 a hat to hold. Several men were already engaged in search- 
 ing the bodies. I replied that I was unwell, and wanted to 
 get upon my horse and go to the ranch and nurse myself. 
 My request was granted. Reaching Hamblin's ranch — being 
 heartsick and worn out — I lay down on my saddle-blanket 
 and slept, and knew but little of what passed during the 
 night. 
 
 About daybreak in the morning, I heard the voices of Col. 
 Dame and Isaac C. Haight. I heard some very angry words 
 pass between them, which drew my attention. Dame said he 
 would have to report the destruction of the emigrant camp 
 and company. Haight said, "How, as an Indian massacre?" 
 Dame said he did not know so well about that. This reply 
 seemed to irritate Haight, who spoke quite loudly, saying, 
 
 " How the can you report it any other way without 
 
 implicating yourself?" At this Dame lowered his voice 
 almost to a whisper ; I could not understand what he said, and 
 the conversation stopped. 
 
 I got up, saw the children, and among the others the boy 
 who was pulled by the hair of his head out of the waggon by 
 the Indian and saved by me ; that boy 1 took home and kept 
 until Dr. Forney, Government agent, came to gather up the 
 children and take them East ; he took the boy with the 
 others ; that boy's name was William Fancher ; his father 
 was captain of the train ; he was taken East and adopted by 
 a man in Nebraska, named Richard Sloan ; he remained East 
 several years, and then returned to Utah, and is now a convict 
 in the Utah Penitentiary, having been convicted the past year 
 tor the crime of highway robbery. He is now known hy the 
 name of "Idaho Bill,'' but his true name is William Fancher. 
 His little sister was also taken East, and is now the wife of 
 
396 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 a man working for the Union Pacific Railroad Company, near 
 Green River. The hoy (now man) has yet got the scar on 
 his chin caused hy the cut on the waggon-box, and those who 
 are curious enough to examine will find a large scar on the 
 hall of his left foot, caused by a deep cut made by an axe while 
 he was with me. 
 
 I got breakfast that morning. Then all hands returned to 
 the scene of the slaughter to bury the dead. The bodies were 
 all in a nude state. The Indians, through the night, had 
 stripped them of every vestige of clothing. Many of the 
 parties were laughing and talking as they carried the bodies 
 to the ravine for burial. They were just covered over a little, 
 but did not long remain so; for the wolves dug them up, and, 
 after eating the flesh from them, the bones laid upon the 
 ground until buried, some time after, by a Government mili- 
 tary officer. At the time of burying the bodies Dame and 
 Haight got into another quarrel. Dame seemed to be terror- 
 stricken, and again said he would have to publish it. They 
 were about two paces from me. Dame spoke low, as if care- 
 ful to avoid being heard. Haight spoke loud, and said, "You 
 kuow that you counselled it, and ordered me to have them 
 used up." Dame said, " I did not think that there were so 
 many women and children. I thought they were nearly all 
 killed by the Indians." Haight said, " It is too late in the 
 day for you to back water. You know you ordered and coun- 
 selled it, and now you want to back out." Dame said, "Have 
 you the papers for that ?" or " Show the papers for that." 
 This enraged Haight to the highest pitch, and Dame walked 
 off. Haight said, " You throw the blame of this thing on me, 
 and I will be revenged upon you, if I have to meet you in hell 
 to get it." From this place we rode to the waggons; we found 
 them stripped of their covers and every particle of clothing, 
 even the feather beds had been ripped open and the contents 
 turned upon the ground, looking for plunder. I crossed the 
 mountains by an Indian trail, taking my little Indian boy with 
 me on my horse. The gathering up of the property and cattle 
 was left in the charge of Bishop P. K. Smith. The testimony of 
 Smith in regard to the property and the disposition of it was 
 very nearly correct. 
 
 I must not forget to state, that after the attack a messenger 
 by the name of James Haslem was sent with a despatch to 
 President Brigham Young, asking his advice about interfering 
 with the company, but he did not return in time. This I had 
 no knowledge of until the massacre was committed. Some 
 
Mountain Meadows Massacre. 397 
 
 two weeks after the deed was done, Isaac C. Haight sent me 
 to report to Governor Young in person. I asked him why he 
 did not send a written report. He replied that I could tell 
 him more satisfactorily than he could write, and if I would 
 stand up and shoulder as much of the responsibility as I 
 could conveniently, that it would he a feather in my cap some 
 day, and that I would get a celestial salvation, but that the 
 man who shrank from it now would go to hell. I went and 
 did as I was commanded. Brigham asked me if Isaac C. 
 Haight had written a letter to him. I replied, not by me, but 
 I said he wished me to report in person. " All right," said 
 Brigham ; " were you an eye-witness ? " " To the most of it," 
 was my reply. Then I proceeded and gave him a full history 
 of all except that of my opposition. That I left out entirely. 
 I told him of the killing of the women and children, and the 
 betraying of the company. That, I told him, I was opposed 
 to, but I did not say to him to what extent I was opposed to 
 it s only that I was opposed to shedding innocent blood. 
 " Why," said he, "you differ from Isaac (Haight), for he said 
 there was not a drop of innocent blood in the whole company." 
 When I was through, he said that it was awful ; that he cared 
 nothing about the men, but the women and children was what 
 troubled him. I said, " President Young, you should either 
 release men from their obligation or sustain them when they 
 do what they have entered into the most sacred obligations to 
 do." He replied, "I will think over the matter, and make it a 
 subject of prayer, and yon may come back in the morning and 
 see me." I did so, and he said, "John, I feel fi 1st- rate ; I 
 asked the Lord if it was all right for that deed to be done, to 
 take away the vision of the deed from my mind, and the Lord 
 did so, and I feel first-rate. It is all right. The only fear I 
 have is of traitors." He told me never to lisp it to any mortal 
 being, not even to Brother Heber. President Young has 
 always treated me with the friendship of a father since, and 
 has sealed several women to me since, and has made nay house 
 bis home Avhen in that part of the territory, until danger has 
 threatened him. This is a true statement according to the 
 best of my recollection. 
 
 Jonx D. Lee. 
 
398 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 KILLING A RIVAL PROPHET. 
 
 Enough has been already written to satisfy all with whom 
 facts have any weight that the Mormonism which claims in 
 Europe to be " of Christ," is in Utah a despotism of the 
 harshest character, allied to falsehood, murder, and the worst of 
 crimes that degrade human nature. And here would I rest my 
 pen ; but it seems that one other episode in Utah life should 
 still be added, showing as it does the intolez'ance of the ruling 
 Mormon Priesthood when their own sway is challenged. 
 
 Thirty-five miles north of Salt Lake City — a short distance 
 from where the Union Pacific debouches from Weber Canyou 
 — a Welchmau named Joseph Morris had found eager listeners 
 to new revelations. The Bishop of Kington Fort, Richard 
 Cook, formerly a noted Missionary in Manchester, England, 
 and a number of intelligent men and women, received gladly 
 the new prophet who had been raised up by " the Lord " to 
 " deliver Israel from bondage." Numerous believers in a very 
 short time gathered from various parts of the territory, and 
 Kington fort, on the Weber, became an important place. 
 Morris abounded with r6velations. His " gifts " exceeded in 
 profusion those of all who had ever gone before him. The 
 founder of Mormonism was nothing in comparison with his 
 disciple from Wales. The adherents of the new prophet 
 were perfectly overjoyed at the abundance of light that now 
 shone upon their path, and some very intelligent men gathered 
 to the Weber. Three English and three Danish clerks were 
 daily employed in writing the heavenly communications from 
 the mouth of the new prophet. Brigham had been barren — 
 Morris was overflowing. The new disciples " consecrated " 
 all they possessed to a common fund. Christ was seen to de- 
 scend among them, and their wants would only be of short 
 duration. As "the Lord" tarried, the enthusiasm of some of 
 the converts cooled, and here began the difficulty with the new 
 prophet. It became a question how much of their property 
 they could reclaim. It had all been " consecrated." The 
 
Killing a Rival Proplict. 399 
 
 lead in g men of the sect decided to let them peacefully retire ; 
 but it was expected that they would honestly meet their ac- 
 crued share of the obligations of the little colony. Some of them 
 proved dishonest, and attempted to take away better cattle 
 than they had brought, and they refused to make allowance 
 for the support they had derived form the property of others. 
 A feud arose, the dissenters applied to the Mormon Courts, and 
 the latter were pleased with the opportunity afforded. Writs 
 were issued, served and repulsed. The dissenters waited for 
 the chance of seizing the moveable property of the colony, 
 and as wheat was sent to mill they pounced upon it, and took 
 teams and waggons as well. On one occasion the Morrisites 
 arose early in the morning, and spread themselves over the 
 country, keeping within view of the advancing teams. As 
 the dissenter and two others pounced upon the convoy the 
 second time, up sprang the Morrisites from places of conceal- 
 ment, and took them prisoners. They were taken to Kington 
 Fort and imprisoned. The friends of the captured men sought 
 their release ineffectually, for the Sheriff in that country could 
 do nothing. One or two of the wives of the prisoners went to 
 Brigham, but he refused to interfere. He was too shrewd to 
 meddle directly in the affair. Justice Kinney was next visited. 
 As judge of that judicial district a petition was filed before 
 him, setting forth that these men were kept in close confine- 
 ment and heavily ironed by order of Joseph Morris, John 
 Banks, and Richard Cook. On the 24th of May, 1862, a writ 
 of habeas corpus was issued to the Territorial Marshal, and by 
 his deputy served, but no attention was paid to it. On the 
 1 lth of June a second writ was issued and was also disregarded. 
 Kinney was intensely indignant, and insisted upon the militia 
 being called out as a posse comitatus to accompany the Terri- 
 torial Marshal. Acting Governer Fuller issued the necessary 
 order. The Morrisites had been warned by the "Lord" that the 
 " Brighamites " were plotting their destruction, and accordingly 
 purchased all the rifles and ammunition possible. Early on 
 the morning of the 13th of June an armed posse were seen 
 on South Mountain overlooking the Morrisite community, and 
 the following proclamation was sent to the Morrisites by one 
 of their herd-boys : 
 
 Headquarters, Marshal's Posse, Weber River, 
 June 13, 1862. 
 
 To Joseph UTorris, John Banks, Richard Cook, John Parsons, 
 and Peter Klemganl : 
 Whereas you have heretofore disregarded and defied the 
 
400 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 judicial officers and laws of the Territory of Utah : and 
 whereas certain writs have been issued for you from the Third 
 Judicial District Court of said Territory, and a sufficient force 
 furnished by the executive of the same to enforce the laws. 
 This is therefore to notifiy you to peaceably and quietly sur- 
 render yourselves and the prisoners in your custody forthwith. 
 An answer is required in thirty minutes after the receipt of 
 this document : if not, forcible measures will be taken for 
 your arrest. Should you disregard this proposition and place 
 your lives in jeopardy, you are hereby required to remove 
 your women and children : and all persons peaceably disposed 
 are hereby notified to forthwith leave your encampment, and 
 are informed that they can find protection with this posse. 
 
 H. W. Lawrence, 
 
 Territorial Marshal. 
 Per R. T. Burton and Theodore McKean, deputies. 
 
 A gentleman who was then in the Morrisites camp has fur- 
 nished the author with the following statement : — Morris, a 
 firm believer in the revelations he received, remarked, in answer 
 to the inquiry " What shall be done ? " that he would " go 
 and inquire of the Lord." He was soon heard in solemn and 
 earnest prayer. In the meantime word was sent round the 
 camp for the people to at once assemble in meeting and 
 consult on the question. Womeu and children came together 
 hurriedly, yet there was no excitement, and soon the Bowery 
 was well filled. Morris was seen to come out from his dwell- 
 ing with a paper in his hand. This paper proved to be a 
 written revelation. His council were awaiting him. The 
 revelation was read to the council, and a peculiar document it 
 was. It purported to be from God, who was represented as 
 being pleased with his faithful people there, and as having 
 brought the posse against them to show his own power in the 
 complete destruction of their enemies. It also promised that 
 now the triumph of his people should come. Their enemies 
 should be smitten before them, but that not one of his faithful 
 people should be destroyed — that " not a hair of their heads 
 should be harmed." The council at once stepped out into the 
 Bowery, close to which lived all the leading men, and, to save 
 time, singing was omitted, and the meeting was opened briefly 
 by prayer. John Parsons (previously a noted Mormon 
 preacher in London), in his clear sonorous voice, then read 
 the revelation. R. Cook arose to consult with the people as 
 to which should be obeyed — the proclamation demanding the 
 
Killing a Rival Prophet. 401 
 
 surrender of the prisoners held in custody of Peter Ivlemgard, 
 and four of the leading men of the Church, or the revelation 
 forbidding the surrender of these men. Before the people had 
 a chance to speak or vote, or do anything at all in the matter, 
 the booming sound of a cannon was heard, and screams arose 
 irom the third seat from the stand in the Bowery, and instantly 
 two women were seen dead in the congregation, and the lower 
 jaw, hanging only by a small strip of skin, was shot off a young 
 girl of from twelve to fifteen years of age. It was the fearful 
 and heartrending screams of this girl that stopped tbe meet- 
 ing. The people arose in utter confusion. Cook, still on his 
 feet, suggested to all to go at once to their homes, and that 
 each man should take care of his own family as best he could. 
 Never was a revelation more immediately falsified, for scarcely 
 had the promise of absolute safety been made than sudden 
 destruction came. Panic-stricken men and women rushed 
 hither and thither, some seeking safety in cellars, some in 
 potato-pits ; in short, anywhere or in any place in which 
 security could be either reasonably or unreasonably hoped for. 
 The first shot was in a few minutes followed by another and 
 still another, and the attack was contiuued. The posse drew 
 nearer and nearer, and the firing was kept up incessantly both 
 with cannon and musketry. Had Burton or McKean had the 
 pluck of a common constable, they could have gone safely into 
 the fort, served the summons, and saved all effusion of blooii. 
 There was not a Morrisite in the fort that was armed or 
 thought of arming. They met to consider the question, and to 
 pray over it. About an hour and a half after the firing com- 
 menced they got their arms and effected an organization, and 
 a regular defence was made. After fighting three days they 
 raised the white flag, and ceased firing. Cautiously Burton 
 and his aids, with a number of men, entered into the camp, 
 and then ' transpired a bloody scene, concerning which the 
 following affidavit has been made : 
 
 United States of America, Territory of Utah, S.S. 
 Alexander Dow, of said territory, being duly sworn, says : 
 "In the spring of 1861 I joined the Morrisites, and was 
 present when Joseph Morris was killed. The Morrisites had 
 surrendered, a white flag was flying, and the arms were all 
 grounded and guarded by a large number of the posse. Robert 
 T. Burton and Judson L. Stoddard rode in among the Mor- 
 risites. Burton was excited. He said, " Where is the man ? 
 I don't know him." Stoddard replied, " That's him," pointing 
 
 D d 
 
402 An Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 to Morris. Burton rode his horse upon Morris, and com- 
 manded him to give himself up in the name of the Lord. 
 Morris replied, " No, never, never ! " Morris said he wanted 
 to speak to the people. Burton said, " Be d — d quick about 
 it." Morris said, " Brethren, I've taught you true principles." 
 He had scarcely got the words out of his mouth before Burton 
 fired his revolver. The ball passed in his neck or shoulder. 
 Burton exclaimed, " There's your prophet." He fired again, 
 saying, " What do you think of your prophet now ? " He 
 then turned suddenly and shot Banks, who was standing five 
 or six paces distant. Banks fell. Mrs. Bowman, wife of 
 James Bowman, came running up crying, " Oh, you blood- 
 thirsty wretch! " Burton said, " No one shall tell me that and 
 live," and shot her dead. A Danish woman then came run- 
 ning up to Morris, crying, and Burton shot her dead also. 
 Burton could easily have taken Morris and Banks prisoners, 
 if he had tried. I was standing but a few feet from Burton 
 all this time. And further saith not. 
 
 Alexander Dow. 
 Subscribed and sworn before me, this 18th day of April, 
 a.d. 1863. 
 
 Charles B. Waite, 
 
 Associate Justice, U. T. 
 
 In the fight two of the Marshal's posse were killed, and six 
 of the Morrisites, and three of the latter were wounded. Only 
 one in the Morrisite camp was killed by rifle-ball. It was the 
 cannon at long range that did the damage. The first shot 
 killed two women as before, stated, and wounded a girl ; another 
 cannon-ball killed a woman and her child in the " wickiup." 
 The mother-in-law of the new prophet was also killed in her 
 "wickiup." A little infant had two narrow escapes. The 
 first shot killed its mother, Mrs. Marsh, while it was in her 
 arms, and it was in the arms of Mrs. Bowman when she was 
 shot down. After the surrender all the prisoners were 
 marched to Salt Lake on the 17th, and on the 18th they were 
 examined before Judge Kinney in chambers, and placed under 
 bonds to appear at the next regular term of Court. In urging 
 measures against the Morrisites, Kinney claimed to be satisfied 
 that he did only do his duty. It is difficult to see how he could 
 long be passive when the order of his Court was disregarded. 
 Burton committed the atrocity of which he is accused most 
 undoubtedly, and it was the work of a devoted fanatic, who, 
 seeking to please the Prophet Brigham, did not hesitate to do 
 
Killing a Rival Proplict. 403 
 
 so by ridding him of a troublesome rival. That John Banks 
 was foully dealt with there seems little room to doubt. He was 
 wounded at the time of Morris's death, but not fatally. The 
 manner of his " taking off" only is obscure. In the evening he 
 was well enough to sit up and enjoy his pipe. Suddenly he died. 
 Was he poisoned, shot, or " knifed ? " is the only query. It is 
 generally believed that Dr. Clinton " knifed him." Banks was 
 among the first to receive Mormonism in Preston, Lancashire, 
 England. He was soon ordained a high-priest, and during many 
 years of labour among the Saints he had presided over the 
 largest conferences in Britain, and at one time was one of the 
 Presidency over the whole Church there. He was the most 
 eloquent preacher that was ever in the Mormon Church. As 
 his faith waned in Mormonism he was painfully grieved, and 
 at times became intemperate. Before he was a Mormon he 
 had been a Chartist, and the " despotism " of the ruling Priest- 
 hood was irksome to him. Years before he left England for 
 Zion he silently mourned over the one-man power. His best 
 life had been spent for Mormonism, and he was then too fai 
 advanced in years to begin a new life, and he emigrated to Zion 
 when ordered, hoping that his fears might be removed by better 
 experience. Brigham Young was personally kind to him after 
 he arrived at Salt Lake, and sought to help him over his 
 material troubles ; but there was in the heart of John Banks 
 more than he could tell the Prophet. When he heard Morris, 
 it was the opening of a fresh career to him, and he eagerly em- 
 braced the new faith. 
 
 Before the regular session of the Third Judicial District 
 Court, at which the Morrisites were to be tried, an element 
 was imported into Utah that was destined to trouble the hap- 
 v piness of the Prophet. A new Governor, in the person of 
 Stephen S. Harding, of Indiana, was appointed to succeed 
 Dawson ; and Thomas J. Drake of Michigan and Charles B. 
 Waite of Illinois, were appointed Associate Justices. At the 
 same time a body of California volunteers, under command of 
 Colonel Connor, were sent on the overland mail route to pro- 
 tect that and the telegraph line across the Plains, but the Com- 
 mander had also instructions to establish posts near Salt Lake 
 City. At the March session of the Third Judicial District 
 Court the Morrisites were tried. Ten of them were indicted 
 for killing two of the posse during the flight ; seven of these 
 Were convicted, one was " Dolled," and two were acquitted. 
 Sixty-six others were fined §100 each for resisting the posse. 
 Of the seven convicted of " murder in the second degree," one 
 
404 A 7i Englishwoman in Utah. 
 
 was sentenced to fifteen years' imprisonment, one to twelve 
 years, and five to ten years each. Governor Harding, regard- 
 ing the prisoners as deserving of clemency, pardoned them all. 
 Most of those who had professed the Morrisite faith, and who 
 did not immediately leave the Territory, found employment 
 and refuge at Camp Douglas. 
 
 A month later, Colonel Connor took 250 of them and a com- 
 pany of the California volunteers, to Soda Springs, where he 
 established a post in Idaho, immediately beyond the northern 
 Territorial limits of Utah, and the Morrisites have there lost 
 their peculiarities among a more humane population. After the 
 " Morrisite war " Burton enjoyed the respect of the community 
 and the honours of the Church. Offices and appointments were 
 showered upon him, and wives multiplied in his household. If 
 Brigham was horrified at the murder of Morris, Banks, and the 
 two women, he was unfelicitous in its expression. Burton 
 was, through his influence, made United States Assessor of 
 Internal Revenue, was made a Bishop of the Church, and grew 
 from Colonel Burton to Brigadier and Major- General. He 
 was made a member of the City Government and Sheriff of the 
 county of Great Salt Lake. His wealth increased with his 
 honours, and he was associated with Brigham in nearly all of 
 his enterprises. About four years ago the first move was made 
 against him by the grand jury for the murders on the Weber, 
 and he managed to conceal himself for about a year, aud was 
 sent on a mission " to preach the gospel " in England, with the 
 indictment for murder hanging over him. There he was further 
 elevated, and when he returned to " Zion " he was again 
 honoured by being appointed the second counsellor to the chief 
 Bishop of the whole Mormon Church. For the last eighteen 
 months he has enjoyed perfect freedom, and has attended to 
 his numerous affairs with the utmost assurance that nothing 
 could be done with him, and in that he is probably correct, for 
 nothing has ever been done against a prominent Mormon like 
 Burton when a jury had the disposal of the business. 
 
 On the 6th of March, 1879, with all this evidence, and the 
 testimony of living eye-witnesses before them, Major-General 
 Burton was acquitted, by a jury in Salt Lake City, of the 
 murder of Mrs. Bowman ! 
 
 GILBERT AND RIVINGTON, PRINTERS, ST. JOHN'S SQUARE, LONDON.