tihvavy of t:he t:heological Seminary 
 
 PRINCETON . NEW JERSEY 
 PRESENTED BY 
 
 A. G. Cameron, Ph.D. 
 5.18.11 
 
 ^-7,—-^ / t^\ 
 
No. LXR. 
 
 / 
 
 HOW TO BRING UP CHILDREN. 
 
 I WAS dining at the house of a friend. The conversation 
 turned upon the rehgious education of children. Some things 
 said were so profound or rhetorical, that I have forgotten 
 them. My host was a plain man, who preferred the practical 
 to the poetical. He said : " A good religious education is 
 rare. The whole subject is difficult. Yet our duty in the 
 matter may be stated in few words : teach icell, rule tcell, 
 live well, pray well.'''' At first silence, then a few words of 
 assent followed. The company separated to meet no more 
 on earth. Some may have forgotten the occasion, and all 
 that was said. But I have thought much of the eight mono- 
 syllables. I think my friend was right. I take his words 
 for a guide. 
 
 I. Teach well. In teaching the matter and manner 
 both claim attention. He, who takes heed what but not 
 how he leaches, or hoiv but not wiuit he teaches does at the 
 most but half his duty. Teach truth and not its semblance, 
 fiction. Teach truth and not its opposite, error. Teach the 
 truths God has taught you. Teach the whole word of God. 
 The law is holy, just, and good. The promises are many, 
 sweet, and faithful. The doctrines are true, sublime, and 
 purifying. The threatcnings are wise, righteous, and terrible. 
 The examples are striking, various, and instructive. The 
 encouragements are great, necessary, and seasonable. The 
 invitations are kind, sincere, and persuasive. Omit nothing, 
 abate nothing, add nothing. God's word is perfect. He, 
 who made the Bible, made the mind of your child, and knew 
 perfectly what would be best for it. 
 
 Teach things in the proportion, in which God has taught 
 them. If God is just and holy, he is also good and merciful. 
 If he forgives iniquit}'-, transgression, and sin, he will also by 
 no means clear the guilty. If his wrath is dreadful, his love 
 is infinite. If he is a Saviour, he is also a Judge. If he is 
 
2 HOW TO BRING UP CIIILDRErT. 
 
 a Sovereign, he is also a Father, If he pardons, it is no* 
 because sin is not infinitely hateful to him. 
 
 Give clear ideas of the covenant of works, and the cove- 
 nant of grace. Show how thoy differ. Never confound 
 works and grace. Let Mount Sinai and Mount Calvary be 
 set over against each other, Sinai without Calvary will fill 
 the mind with terrors. Calvary without Sinai will breed 
 contempt of mercy. The angels, who never sinned, are 
 accepted for their works, " Do and live," is a law that 
 suits them well. But eternal justice will smite to death the 
 sinner who seeks acceptance by his own merits. He is a 
 thief and a robber. " IBy the deeds of the law shall no flesh 
 be justified," 
 
 Give to the person, teaching, miracles, sufferings, death, 
 resurrection, offices, and glory, of Christ the place assigned 
 them in Scripture, He is our wisdom, righteousness, sancti- 
 fication, redemption, light, life, prophet, priest, king, shep- 
 herd, surety, sacrifice, advocate. We are complete in him. 
 He is all, and in all. He is Alpha and Omega, the first, and 
 the last. 
 
 Draw from the Bible the duties you inculcate, and the 
 motives you urge. If you would repress self-will, stubborn- 
 ness, immodesty, impatience, idleness, pride, deceit, selfish- 
 ness, bigotry, cruelty, profaneness, or any vice, show that 
 God forbids it. Always take sides with God against the sins 
 and vices of even your own child. Explain the nature and 
 urge the necessity of submission, patience, industry, humility, 
 sobriety, moderation, truth, candour, honesty, justice, kind- 
 ness, charity, faith, hope, repentance, fidelity, benevolence, 
 "espect for superiors, and reverence for God's name, word, 
 Sabbath, worship, and ordinances. Take not the duty from 
 the Bible, and the motives from Chesterfield, Rochefuicault, 
 Seneca, or Plato. Present scriptural motives to an upright 
 and virtuous life. 
 
 Think not to be wise above what is written : but try to be 
 wise, and to make your children wise up to what is written. 
 "All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profit- 
 able." Mix it not up with dreams and fancies, and loose 
 opinions. " What is the chaff to the wheat." 
 
 In teaching, great diligence is essential. So says God : 
 "These words which I command thee this day, shall be in 
 thine heart; and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy 
 children, and shalt talk of them, when thou sittest in thine 
 
HOW TO BKIT*G UP CHILDREN. 6 
 
 house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou 
 liest down, and when thou risest up. And thou shalt bind 
 tnem for a sign upon thy hand, and they shall be as front- 
 lets between thine eyes. And thou shalt write thenn upon 
 the posts of thy house, and on thy gates," Deut. vi. 6-9. 
 " Be instant in season, out of season." The holy Sabbath, 
 sickness or death in your family or neighbourhood, a narrow 
 escape from some great evil, a time of drought or of plenty, 
 any event that excites notice, even the common incidents of 
 life, furnish fit occasions for dropping the precious seeds of 
 truth in the heart. Occasional remarks are no less impres- 
 sive than stated instructions. They are often more pithy, 
 and more easily remembered. 
 
 Take not too much for granted. Children are feeble and 
 heedless. A little at a time, and often repeated, is the great 
 secret of successful teaching. " Line upon line, line upon 
 line, precept upon precept, precept upon precept," is the 
 scriptural method. Though you may have taught a lesson 
 twenty times, it is not certain that it has been perfectly 
 learned. 
 
 Avail yourself of the love of narrative, so common in 
 children. God has revealed much of his will in this way. 
 The stories and parables of Scripture are not only admirable 
 for their plainness and simplicity, but they enforce truth with 
 unsurpassed power. Almost every principle of religion and 
 morals is thus illustrated and enforced in the word of God. 
 
 A good teacher must be gentle and patient. It is hardly 
 worse not to speak divine truth at all, than not to speak it in 
 love. Teach the same lesson a hundredth time. Upbraid 
 not a child for its dulness. Be like Jesus, who said : "Learn 
 of me, for I am meek and lowly." Terror produces agitation, 
 and thus precludes the power of learning. Nor can any 
 thing be more undesirable than to have religious instruction 
 associated in the mind of a child with moroseness and harsh- 
 ness. The human heart is sufliciently opposed to the truth 
 of God without our strengthening it by roughness or severity. 
 
 Do not be easily discouraged. Persevere. He has seen 
 but little of mankind, who has not witnessed the sad failures 
 of the precocious, and the final success of the slow. '• Long 
 patience" is even more essential to the teacher than to the 
 nusbandman. 
 
 Enter with spirit and zeal on the work of instruction. Put 
 olT all languor and sloth. " Whatsoever thy hand findeth to 
 
4 now TO BRING UP CHILDREN. 
 
 do, do it with thy might." A hfcless formalism is as truly 
 mischievous at the fireside as in the pulpit. 
 
 To your own efforts add those of well-selected pious 
 teachers, both during the week and on the Sabbath. Every 
 school, even every Sabbath school is not well taught. Exer- 
 cise your best judgment in the choice of teachers. 
 
 Know what books your children read. The world is 
 deluged with books, which abound in error. Guard the 
 minds of your children against a fondness for novel-reading. 
 It has ruined thousands. 
 
 II. Rule well. The elements of good family govern- 
 ment are strength, justice, discrimination, uniformity, and 
 love. Act not the tyrant, yet be master or mistress of your 
 own house. In your superior years, place, experience, and 
 vigoui", God has given you all that is necessary for making 
 your government strong. Let it be a government, and not 
 mere counsel. But let its provisions and administration be 
 just, A child can feel injustice as soon and as keenly as a 
 man. Impose no impossible tasks. Take into account all 
 the weaknesses of childhood. In governing your children 
 make a difference, not from partiality, but from a proper 
 estimate of their various capa<jities, years, dispositions, and 
 temptations. The varieties of character even in the same 
 family are often surprising. Yet be uniform. Be not lax 
 to-day and rigid to-morrow. Have settled principles, and let 
 your children know them. Yet beware of making too many 
 laws. They will not only ensnare your children, but destroy 
 your government. Children may be governed too much. 
 Do not expect perfection. In all you do, be guided by 
 enlightened and pure affection. Never chide, nor correct in 
 passion. If you cannot rule your own spirit, you may break 
 the spirit of your child, but you cannot establish a whole- 
 some government over him. 
 
 That we are bound to use authority is manifest from many 
 parts of Scripture. Of Abraham God says: "I know him 
 that he will command his children and his household after him, 
 -md they shall keep the way of the Lord, to do justice and 
 judgment." Behold the dreadful end of the sons of Eli, and 
 be warned. He was a good man, hated sin even in his own 
 children, and reproved it, saying: " It is no good thing I hear 
 of you, my sons," But he used not authority, as their lather 
 and as the high-priest, to require reformation. Follow not 
 Bo dangerous an example. 
 
.HOW TO BRING UP CHILDREN. O 
 
 With reproof God has united the rod. When it is neces- 
 sary, use it. It commonly is necessary in cases of wilful and 
 deliberate disobedience. " Foolishness is bound up in the 
 heart of a child, but the rod of correction shall drive it far 
 from him." Never use the rod to gratify a feeling of anger, 
 nor without being sure that it is deserved. I have some 
 where read the following story, which well illustrates the 
 matter. Two stages, belonging to opposition lines, left the 
 same place at the same hour every day for London. Both 
 drivers had orders to make the distance in the shortest time 
 possible. One driver mounted the box, with whip in hand, 
 excited, spoke angrily to his horses, and alternately relaxed 
 and jerked the reins, at the same time using his whip freely. 
 In a few miles his horses gave signs of distress, and before 
 he reached London some of his team was usually brokei? 
 down. The other driver coolly took his seat, spoke gently 
 to his horses, held a steady rein all the time, and seldon. 
 even cracked his whip. He was often hindmost for a few 
 miles, but while the horses of the other team were in a foam 
 hardly a hair of his horses was moist. The last few miles, 
 his team not being jaded, he took the lead, and seldom even 
 distressed a horse. The I'eason of the difference was, not 
 that one driver had a better team than the other, but one was 
 a better driver than the other. One held a steady rein, and 
 never used the whip unless it was necessary. The other 
 constantly used the whip, fretted his team, and wasted both 
 their spirit and strength. 
 
 Who has not seen this precise difference in the govern- 
 ment of families ? The first driver would have done as well, 
 perhaps better, without a whip. And many a family would 
 not have been in a worse state, if a rod had never been in it. 
 Family government is always a failure when it does not 
 secure prompt obedience and sincere affection from the child 
 to the parent. 
 
 Parents should be agreed in the government of their 
 children. If they do not support each other's authority, it 
 must fall. A divided house cannot stand. Nor should they 
 oermit grand-parents, aunts, or any person whatever to 
 weaken their authority. 
 
 III. Live well. Set a good example in all things 
 " Tinder is not more apt to take fire, nor wax the impression 
 of the seal, than the young are to follow example." If your 
 child may in his heart say: " Physician, heal thyself," your 
 
6 HOW TO BRING UP CHILDREN. 
 
 influence for good in that matter is at an end, at least unti 
 you refoi'iT). He, who delivers good precepts, sows gom' 
 seed. He, who adds good example, ploughs in mat seed. 
 Children are the most imitative creatures in the world. The 
 dilierent species of ape excite the laughter of fools by their 
 powers of mimickry, but children excite the admiration of 
 wise men by their powers of imitation. Quintilian rightly 
 says that nurses should not have a bad accent. The reason 
 is that children will soon acquire it. And Dr. Watts well 
 says, "it is far less difficult to learn than to unlearn." In 
 his Ode to the Romans, Horace says : " Brave men are made 
 by brave men." Nor is there any other way of making 
 men brave. Precept, eloquence, and poetry cannot do it. 
 Cowards breed cowards. The same is true of all the virtues 
 and vices. 
 
 The power of good examples above bare precepts is three- 
 fold; first, they most clearly show what the duty is; then, 
 they prove that it is practicable; and lastly, they awaken a 
 more lively desire to perform it, by arousing the imitative 
 principle of our nature. I have known two men, by precept 
 and authority, without example, to try to restrain their sons from 
 intemperance and profanity. They both failed. I have 
 known many a parent, whose precepts were k\v, and whose 
 use of the rod was sparing, to raise a family to virtue and 
 honour chiefly by a blameless example. It is as true of 
 parents as of preachers, that a bad example will destroy the 
 good that might be expected from sound instruction. "Do 
 as I say, and not as I do," is a sentence that converts the 
 best teaching into poison, and dreadfully hardens the heart. 
 Precepts give the theory, but example instils principle. 
 Words impart notions, but example carries conviction. One 
 plain man of blameless life and good sense, will more enforce 
 the obligations of true piety than a hundred orators of godless 
 lives. A heathen once "ave as a reason for his guarded 
 behaviour in the presence of the young, "I reverence a 
 child." If you deceive your child, break your promises to 
 him, or practise any sin before him, you cannot lail to teach 
 him to do the same. 
 
 IV. Pray welj.. " Pray always with all prayer and sup- 
 plication in the Spirit, watching thereunto with all persever- 
 ance." " Pray without ceasing." Pray in the house of 
 God, in your family, in your closet, in your daily walks. 
 A.sk others t) pray for you and your children. This should 
 
HOW TO BRING UP CHILDREN. 7 
 
 not be a mere formal, but an earnest request. You need 
 special wisdom and grace to preserve you from error, and sin, 
 and folly. The heart of your child is corrupt, and all your 
 culture will be lost without God's blessing. You cannot 
 change the heart, renew the will, or wash away the sins of 
 your child. God alone can impart to him a love of the truth, 
 or give him repentance. You may use your best endeavours, 
 but all will be in vain without God's Spirit. Sails are neces- 
 sary, but a thousand yards of canvass will not carry forward 
 a vessel, unless the wind blows. 
 
 Be fervent in your supplications. Monica, the mother of 
 Augustine, said she " had greater travail and pain that her 
 son might be born again, than that he might be born." God 
 answered her prayers, and that too at a time when he seemed 
 to be utterly lost. John Newton tells of a mother of eleven 
 pious children, who, being asked how she came to be so 
 much blessed, said, " I never took one of them into my arms 
 to give it nourishment, that I did not pray that I might never 
 nurse a child for the devil." " Elijah's prayer brought down 
 fire from heaven, because, being fervent, it carried fire up to 
 heaven." It is as true now as in any former age of the 
 world, that " the effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man 
 availeth much." Never despair of the salvation of a child. 
 While there is life, there is hope. Wrestle with God like 
 Jacob, and you shall prevail like Israel. Never by unbelief 
 deliver over a child to sin, and to the wrath of God. Pray 
 on. Hope on. 
 
 Conclusion. — For your encouragement take the promises 
 of the covenant of peace: "I will be a God to thee and to 
 thy seed after thee." "The promise is to you and to your 
 children." "Suffer little children to come unto me, and for- 
 bid tliem not, for of such is the kingdom of God." "Train 
 up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he 
 will not depart from it." More precious promises could not 
 be made. Believe them. Plead them before God. Richard 
 Baxter has said, that if pious education, family worship, 
 parental instruction, and a holy example were properly 
 regarded by parents, even the preacMng of the gospel would 
 not be the most common means of conversion. The best 
 encouragement to effort is found in the hope of success. In 
 this case that hope is well founded. God's word and provi- 
 dence both prove it. The great mass of the pious now on 
 earth is made up of those, who from childhood have been 
 
8 HOW TO BRING UP CHILDREN. 
 
 taught the ways of God. Many fooh'sh things have, no 
 doubt, been said concerning the religious impressions of 
 children. Yet there have been many well authenticated 
 cases of early piety. Our children cannot too soon begin to 
 live to the glory of God. He, who is old enough to sin 
 against God, is old enough to love God. Whether your 
 children shall be early or late converted, yet if they shall 
 obtain salvation at all, they will be kings and priests unto 
 God for ever and ever. Does a sweeter hope ever visit the 
 parental mind than that of standing before God in the last 
 day, and saying: "Behold, I and the children, whom the 
 Lord hath given me ?" " A whole family in heaven" will 
 for ever be matter of greater wonder and louder praise, than 
 can be found in all the works disclosed by microscopes and 
 telescopes in the boundless dominions of God. 
 
 But if you neglect the religious education of your children, 
 dreadful will be the consequences. " A child left to himself 
 bringeth his mother to shame." Parental love is often blind 
 and foolish. 
 
 " A parent's heart may prove a snare ; 
 The child she loves so well, 
 Her hand may lead with gentlest care, 
 Down the smootli road to hell." 
 
 Trust not your heart. Trust God's word. Give not place 
 to evil tempers and ways in yourself or your child. It is 
 not many years since a young lady thus addressed her 
 parents : " You have been the unhappy instruments of my 
 being. You fostered me in pride, and led me in the paths of 
 sin. You never once warned me of my danger, and now it 
 is too late. In a few hours you will have to cover me with 
 earth, but remember, while you are casting earth upon my 
 bod^, my soul will be in hell, and yourselves the miserable 
 cause." If you would escape the scourges of a guilty con- 
 science, the reproaches of a lost child, and the rebukes of an 
 angry God, do your duty to your children. Only when the 
 heart of the fathers is turned to the children, and the heart 
 ■>f the children to their fathers, may we hope that God will 
 not come and smite the earth with a curse. As a town 
 without walls, as a house without a roof, as a garden without 
 a hedge, and as sheep without a shepherd, so is a family, 
 whose thoughts and affairs are not moulded by the fear and 
 love of God. 
 
 Presbyterian Board of Publication. 
 
DATE DUE 
 
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