Copyright, 1900, by Judge Company PUBLISHED BY JUDGE COMPANY, AT no FIFTH AVENUE. NEW YORK CITY, N. Y. Slattery — “An’ phwy ?” McGowan — “ Oi loike no man thot will take th’ Oirish O’ frum his name t’ ketch th’ Yankee vote.’ • '*• CAUSE OF THE RIOT. Kerrigan — “An’ phwat do yez call thot now, Grogan?” Grogan (of Brooklyn , proudly) — “ Thot’s a harseless baby-kerridge, Kerrigan. Oi don’t hov t’ shove it at all at all.’’ Kerrigan — “A harseless baby-keeridge, eh ? Well, it’s th’ janius yez are, Grogan. Oi always thought yez wor a jackass. Ten minutes outside Sandy Ilook and Uncle Cyrus whoopin’ tilings up. THE TRIUMPH OF ALIGNMENT. Feeney, the dog-fancier, was badly tangled up in attempting to display his pug-dogs for sale 1 1 «< ^ f K frijj I A YARD OF BLOSSOMS. mamssar WHY THEY VOTED FOR A FIELD-CAPTAIN. ANOTHER HALLUCINATION. w . .. w ■■ Isaacs — Cohen — Phv vou vas so down on Rosenbomb?” . , . . ... For der mean trig he played me — ven my shtore caught fire lashd veek, vile I vas avay, dot goose run in unt pud id oud, py chiminy ! A LOW-DOWN TRICK. ■dSjgWg'l PREPARING FOR THE RUSH. Parson Johnson — “I reckon we’ll hab to put ’bout six dozen extra chairs in de chu’ch.” Deacon Ketcham — “Why so?” Parson Johnson — “Why, I see dat scientists am predictin' de end ob de earth from a big sun-spot. Soon as dat news gets round to Blackville dar’ll be a reg’lar bargain-day rush fo’ salvation — shuah’s yo’r born.” Little Mickie — “ Begob ! and it’s much easier, and it’s a wonder I didn’t think oi that before.” PLYMOUTII-ROCK BLOOD. Miss Snoflaike — “ Speakin’ ob Plymouth Rock an’ de Mayflower, Mistah Jackson, kin yo’ trace youah blood back as far as dat?” Mr. Jackson — “No — not so far as dat — but de night I got shot stealin’ Plymouth-rock chickens I could trace mah blood back mos’ four miles.” 1 I EH fs o Tue^o*. j I I pi* J i p l SHE WAS MERCENARY. Miss Coopah — “’Lige, how much yo’ dun made dis week whitewashin’ ?” ’Lige — “’Fo’ de Lawd ! yo’s de mos’ mercinary gal I knows, yo’ is. I beliebe now yo’s marryin’ me fo' mah money.” CUPID’S DECOY IN DARKTOWN. “ Whad’s dat gal wearin’ a chicken on her haid fo’ ? ” “ Why, dat’s de stuff, niggah. Hit’s a catch bonnet.” m au um MENTAL ARITHMETIC. how many gallons of cider could the farmer squeeze out of the remaining apples? and the school-house contained eight pupils If a farmer was passing a country school-house with a load of apples, on his way to the cider mill which had just been let out for recess I : m mv>: APPARENT HALLUCINATION. HIS WAY OUT OF IT. Irish Tourist— “Fer hivin’s sake, hilp! Oi’ve bin toied up an’ robbed.” Mike— “ Shure, now, whin we git t’ th’ sittlemint, about wan moile beyant, Oi’ll git a knoife Mike ( the -wood-cutter) — “ Oi’ve no knoive t’ cut th’ rope, but Oi’ll fix yez wid th’ axe.” an’ cut yez loose.” ?m r :~‘ i^p ytW g W ! : ’Jgfffs ** *>■*'*' -•wy CT,, lSI~ . -T' PARTING ADVICE. Farmer Hayrick ( solemnly ) — “Now, Ephriam, ye’re goin’ ter a fash’nable summer resort fer two weeks’ vacation, an’ may th’ good Lord be with ye. Don’t let yer good clo’es spile ye. Be ez wise ez a sarpint an’ harmless ez a dove. Be ez discreet ez ye kin, an’ try not ter bring home more ’n one wife with ye; fer yer brother Jake ’s a goin’ down nex’ month, remember, an’ there hain’t but two spare rooms in th’ house, ye know.” THE GETTY CENTER LIBRARY