Copyright, 1900, by Judge Company 
 
 PUBLISHED BY JUDGE COMPANY, AT no FIFTH AVENUE. NEW YORK CITY, N. Y. 
 
Slattery — “An’ phwy ?” 
 
 McGowan — “ Oi loike no man thot will take th’ Oirish O’ frum his name t’ ketch th’ Yankee vote.’ 
 
• '*• 
 
 CAUSE OF THE RIOT. 
 
 Kerrigan — “An’ phwat do yez call thot now, Grogan?” 
 
 Grogan (of Brooklyn , proudly) — “ Thot’s a harseless baby-kerridge, Kerrigan. Oi don’t hov t’ shove it at all at all.’’ 
 Kerrigan — “A harseless baby-keeridge, eh ? Well, it’s th’ janius yez are, Grogan. Oi always thought yez wor a jackass. 
 
 
Ten minutes outside Sandy Ilook and Uncle Cyrus whoopin’ tilings up. 
 
THE TRIUMPH OF ALIGNMENT. 
 
 Feeney, the dog-fancier, was badly tangled up in attempting to display his pug-dogs for sale 
 
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A YARD OF BLOSSOMS. 
 
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WHY THEY VOTED FOR A FIELD-CAPTAIN. 
 
 
ANOTHER HALLUCINATION. 
 
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Isaacs — 
 Cohen — 
 
 Phv vou vas so down on Rosenbomb?” . , . . ... 
 
 For der mean trig he played me — ven my shtore caught fire lashd veek, vile I vas avay, dot goose run in unt pud id oud, py chiminy ! 
 
 A LOW-DOWN TRICK. 
 
 

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 PREPARING FOR THE RUSH. 
 
 Parson Johnson — “I reckon we’ll hab to put ’bout six dozen extra chairs in de chu’ch.” 
 
 Deacon Ketcham — “Why so?” 
 
 Parson Johnson — “Why, I see dat scientists am predictin' de end ob de earth from a big sun-spot. Soon as dat news gets round to Blackville 
 dar’ll be a reg’lar bargain-day rush fo’ salvation — shuah’s yo’r born.” 
 
Little Mickie — “ Begob ! and it’s much easier, and it’s a wonder I didn’t think oi that before.” 
 
PLYMOUTII-ROCK BLOOD. 
 
 Miss Snoflaike — “ Speakin’ ob Plymouth Rock an’ de Mayflower, Mistah Jackson, kin yo’ trace youah blood back as far as dat?” 
 
 Mr. Jackson — “No — not so far as dat — but de night I got shot stealin’ Plymouth-rock chickens I could trace mah blood back mos’ four miles.” 
 
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 SHE WAS MERCENARY. 
 
 Miss Coopah — “’Lige, how much yo’ dun made dis week whitewashin’ ?” 
 ’Lige — “’Fo’ de Lawd ! yo’s de mos’ mercinary gal I knows, yo’ is. I beliebe 
 now yo’s marryin’ me fo' mah money.” 
 

CUPID’S DECOY IN DARKTOWN. 
 
 “ Whad’s dat gal wearin’ a chicken on her haid fo’ ? ” 
 “ Why, dat’s de stuff, niggah. Hit’s a catch bonnet.” 
 
 
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 MENTAL ARITHMETIC. 
 
 how many gallons of cider could the farmer squeeze out of the remaining apples? 
 
 and the school-house contained eight pupils 
 
 If a farmer was passing a country school-house with a load of apples, on his way to the 
 cider mill 
 
 which had just been let out for recess 
 
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APPARENT HALLUCINATION. 
 
HIS WAY OUT OF IT. 
 
 Irish Tourist— “Fer hivin’s sake, hilp! Oi’ve bin toied up an’ robbed.” Mike— “ Shure, now, whin we git t’ th’ sittlemint, about wan moile beyant, Oi’ll git a knoife 
 
 Mike ( the -wood-cutter) — “ Oi’ve no knoive t’ cut th’ rope, but Oi’ll fix yez wid th’ axe.” an’ cut yez loose.” 
 
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** *>■*'*' -•wy CT,, lSI~ . -T' 
 
 PARTING ADVICE. 
 
 Farmer Hayrick ( solemnly ) — “Now, Ephriam, ye’re goin’ ter a fash’nable summer resort fer two weeks’ vacation, an’ may th’ good Lord be with ye. Don’t let 
 yer good clo’es spile ye. Be ez wise ez a sarpint an’ harmless ez a dove. Be ez discreet ez ye kin, an’ try not ter bring home more ’n one wife with ye; fer yer brother 
 Jake ’s a goin’ down nex’ month, remember, an’ there hain’t but two spare rooms in th’ house, ye know.” 
 

 

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