THE 
 
 STRUWWELPETER ALPHABET 
 
 By HAROLD BEGBIE, 
 Illustrated by F. CARRUTHERS GOULD. 
 
 LONDON : 
 
 GRANT RICHARDS, 9 HENRIETTA STREET, COYENT GARDEN, W.C. 
 
 iqoo. 
 
 3y 
 
 THI GRAIMIOTONR CO., PRINTERS, EM'IKLD. 
 
THE 
 
 STRUWWELPETER ALPHABET. 
 
Publisher's Announcement. 
 Uniform nuith this Volume. 
 
 . The . 
 
 Political Strnwwelpeter, 
 
 With Verses by 
 HAROLD BEGBIE, 
 
 And Illustrations in Colours by 
 F. Carruthers Gould. 
 
 FIFTEENTH THOUSAND. 
 
 LONDON: GRANT RICHARDS, 
 9 Henrietta St., Covent Garden, W.C. 
 
The Indefinite Article. 
 
 From toil of such nature he finds relaxation 
 At our big Golden Treasury, foozling the nation ; 
 And if Golf doesn't press, Arthur stops now and then 
 To vindicate Arthur's Creator to men. 
 
 ( 1 ) 
 
Digitized by the Internet Archive 
 in 2015 
 
 https://archive.org/details/struwwelpeteralpOObegb 
 
B's. 
 
A Queer C. 
 
The Big D. 
 
 Look! the patrician whose words are so weighty; 
 This is his otium cum dignitate; 
 
 Of dukes, I should say, he was quite the most dukey 
 Though some of the things he has done have been flukey; 
 But his back you would never presume to go slapping 
 Although, whilst sagacious, he's often caught napping. 
 
 ( 4 ) 
 
The Early E. 
 
 Here's E, which is Earl, the great Earl on the sack; 
 With his very broad smile and his very broad back ; 
 His relations are more than the sands of the earth, 
 And for every new babe he must find a new berth ; 
 But he sits on the sack with a cock-a-hoop smile 
 Which the blindest of mortals might see for a mile. 
 
Capital F. 
 
 P's a Financier who said in his pri 
 
 " It is pleasant to gaze from a bank on the tide 
 " If I happened to fall there's a belt close at hand 
 " Which would save me from sinki 
 Now pride in Finance is of all things illicit 
 He fell in the tide, and the whale h 
 
 ing, and bob me 
 
 ussec 
 
 DEFICIT 
 
 ( 6 ) 
 
The Top G. 
 
 The German Emperor is G, 
 
 He rules mankind by Heaven's decree. 
 
 It is a most inspiring sight 
 
 To see him robed in all his might, 
 
 With frothing tankard raised on high, 
 
 Exclaiming: — " Hoch ! (hie), Hoch ! I'm dry," 
 
 While Burghers whisper as he's shouting, 
 
 " Odd that our William's dry when spouting ! " 
 
 ( 7 ) 
 
Aspiring H. 
 
 3m 
 
 is for Harcourt, who left in the lurch 
 His friends at S. Stephen's to physic the Church ; 
 He makes his own mixture and loves to dispense it 
 Without any lowering quack-stuff of Kensit. 
 In the nice little picture that catches your eye 
 He's reducing a temperature rayiher too High. 
 
 ( 8 ) 
 
I Art. 
 
 MAAAAM 
 
 J is for Irving who talks to the Yankee 
 
 And helps the entente without getting a " Thankee 
 But here in the picture the starring knight stands, 
 Knees knocking, chest rocking, with clutchety hands: 
 
 0 ! is it a dagger, or goblin blood-curdly 
 
 1 hat makes dear Sir Henry go on so absurdly ? 
 
 C 9 ) 
 
A Couple of J's. 
 
L Dorado. 
 
 ( 12 ) 
 
The M Pyrean. 
 
 This is Morley — Honest John 
 
 Full of learning as a Don ; 
 
 Politics afflict him sorely, 
 
 Writing books he likes much morely ; 
 
 O he hates the strife of Crankdom 
 
 When he's musing in his sanctum. 
 
 ( 13 ) 
 
The Broody N. 
 
 ( 14 ) 
 
0! 
 
 When the children are in bed 
 O the Ogre shows his head, 
 Creeps along the rumpled sheet, 
 Tickling with his ghostly feet; 
 How can children take their rest 
 With an Ogre on their chest. 
 
 ( 15 ) 
 
Parker's Peace. 
 
 p for Parker filling pews 
 
 By ignoring P's and Q's ; 
 It is part of Parker's work 
 Now and then to damn the Turk ; 
 O I don't think there's a worser 
 Person than a pulpit-curser ! 
 
 ( 16 ) 
 
A Pushing Q. 
 
The 
 
 Diamond 
 
 Mine R. 
 
The Mark S. 
 
 ( 19 ) 
 
Strong T. 
 
 f% ^ 
 
 A ^ 
 
 -Mm 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 I 
 
 
 
 
 'P's for artful Tiger Tim, 
 
 O! dear children, look at him! 
 Don't attempt to cross this T, 
 He's as wily as can be ; 
 
 And his tongue ! compared with Healy 
 
 Willie Redmond's mouth is mealy! 
 
 ( 20 ) 
 
U=Nivocal. 
 
 JJ is the Unction good Leonard displays 
 
 When he differs in toto from other folks' way; 
 There isn't a man in S. Stephen's who sees with him 
 No medicine or food or opinion agrees with him; 
 There never was seen such a Unit for ages 
 As Courtney of Chelsea — -the last of the sages. 
 
 ( 21 ) 
 
Ode of V. 
 
W's. 
 
 ^y's Wyndham obtaining his brief 
 
 From Wolseley the Army's Commander-in-Chief ; 
 To the Income Tax humbly they say, " We must 
 
 trouble you, 
 But really we feel we must very soon W." 
 
 ( 23 ) 
 
His X cellency. 
 
 Here you see as plain as day 
 XLNC from U.S.A. 
 His speeches, never in-Choate, 
 Imply a lot more than they state ; 
 Ne'er have we seen so tacit or 
 Explicit an Ambassador. 
 
 ( ~4 ) 
 
The Augmentative Y. 
 
 Here's our financial Lord Admiral Goschen 
 Who pitches and tosses about on the ocean ; 
 He goes to the House with a roll in his gait 
 And hitches his breeches, for reasons of State, 
 He asks them for quids with his glass to his eye 
 And repeatedly gurgles : " I ask myself Why — ? ' 
 
 ( 25 ) 
 
All Z and Done. 
 
 2 is Zola, see his rage, 
 
 Look at him on this very page: 
 He seizes Mercier by the hair 
 Lays hold of crazy Beaurepaire, 
 Gonse the fat, Zurlinden natty, 
 Esterhazy, too, and Paty, 
 Into the pot by one and twos 
 He plunges all and cries — "J" accuse! 
 
 ( 26 ) 
 
I e 9 3, c 
 
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