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 DUKE UNIVERSITY 
 
 LIBRARY 
 
 The Glenn Negley Collection 
 of Utopian Literature 
 
 t- 
 
Digitized by the Internet Archive 
 in 2010 with funding from 
 Duke University Libraries 
 
 http://www.archive.org/details/triptomoonOOmcde 
 
TRIP 
 
 T O T H E 
 
 MOON. 
 
 ByMv.MVRTAGH Mc.T>ERMOT. 
 
 CONTAINING 
 
 Some Obfervations and Reflections., made 
 by him during his Stay in that Planet, 
 upon the Manners of the Inhabitants. 
 
 Qua genus aut Vlexum variant Heteroclita funto. 
 
 Lill. Gram. 
 
 •Ridentem dicere verum 
 
 quid vetat. Hor. 
 
 Printed at DUBLIN: 
 
 And Reprinted at LO NDO N, for J. Robert? 
 in Warwick- Lane. M dcc xxviii . 
 
 (Price One Shilling. ) 
 

 THE 
 
 P R E FAC E. 
 
 2|§p?|| A M not ignorant to what Danger Trea* 
 szfjS tifes of this Nature are liable, on ac- 
 
 count of a Miftake that prevails among, 
 the more ignorant Sort, who deny the 
 Tranfmigration of an Inhabitant of one 
 Planet to another, as firmly as they deny 
 the Tranfmigration of Souls from one Body to another. 
 But tho' I do not take upon me to defend the latter^ 
 fmce I dare not pretend to argue better than Pytha- 
 goras has done, yet I hold the former, and bring the 
 moft convincing Argument for it, Experience. I went} 
 If aw, I return* d ; I ventured my Life many -Times for 
 the Information of my Countrymen, who, I hope, will 
 JJjortly by their own Ingenuity, confirm what I have 
 faid. There is one Objection againjl this Piece, which 
 I think, ought to be removed. It may be [aid, that the 
 Author never has been in the Moon, jince be relates 
 very little, but what is obfervable among us, for he 
 talks of Plays, CofFee-Houfes, Balls, Ladies, Tea, 
 Intriguing, Pythagoreans, and other Things, which 
 may be eafily apply* d to our felves, and are in Ufe 
 among us. To this I anfwer, 
 
 Firfi, That to condemn a Man without fufficient Evi- 
 dence, is contrary to our Irifh Statutes, neither can 
 fuch Evidence be had, till fame Body arrives from the 
 
 A a Moon, 
 
Moon, who I am fare will bear Witnefs to all I have 
 Jet down. 
 
 Secondly, tfbe Similitude of Manners is but a weak 
 Objection. Does not every Body know that Nature in all 
 her Works delights in Uniformity ? Why then may not 
 the Inhabitants of our fee ondary Planet be like us in their 
 Behaviour ? J doubt not, but if I had feen more oftbem 
 JJbould have been able to defcribe Perfons like fome of 
 our Neighbours. As to what is faid concerning Govern- 
 ment, let none mifapply it : J had [worn Allegiance to 
 King George the Firfl of glorious Memory, before my 
 Departure, and was always firmly attach d to the Ha- 
 noverian Succeffion, againjl the bafe Pretenfwns of a 
 cowardly, fpurious, Popilh Pretender j befides^ a mo- 
 narchical Government can never be applied with the 
 the leaft probability to the Crown of Great Britain. In 
 the next Place, let me make fome Apology for endea- 
 vouring to account for fome ^things in an uncommon 
 Manner. 
 
 tfbe beft Philofophers have been famous for their own 
 Conjectures, fome of which I have followed, and made 
 hold to add my own, where they were not very pofitive. 
 Other Accounts I have related according to the received 
 Doftrine of the Moon, for which 1 am oblig'd to my 
 dear Friend Tckbrff. 
 
 What has been faid, may fuffice to vindicate me from 
 fucb Afperfions as evil-minded Perfons may caft upon 
 me, who look no higher than their own native Earth. 
 Jt remains that J addrefs my felf to tbofe of a more 
 generous Difpofition, who I hope will escufe fmall Faults, 
 and impute them rather to my Ignorance, than to any 
 defign of impofmg en the Publick. 
 
( * ) 
 
 Trip to the Moon, &c\ 
 
 chap. I. 
 
 Containing an Account of the Author'i Defgn to travel. 
 His going to Sea. His Arrival at Teneriffe. His 
 Afcatl to the Peak. His being taken up by a Whirl- 
 wind. I'be Manner of his "Journey towards the 
 Moon. Some Reflections made by the Way, His 
 Arrival at the Moon, and what happened thereupon, 
 
 O fatisfy a violent Inclination which I 
 always had to fee foreign Countries, and 
 being incapacitated by my Circuraftances 
 to travel barely for the Improvement of 
 my Mind, I thought it moft advifeable 
 to turn Sailor ; and in purfuance to my 
 Defign, I bound my felf to one James Anderfon, Ma- 
 tter of the Runner, a Veflel of about 75 Tun, (cho' 
 the Cufiom-Houfe had it but 70) belonging to Dublin, 
 in the Year 171 8. This I did againft the Will of 
 my Mother, my Father being dead a little before, of 
 which I have many Times lince repented, and ob- 
 ferv'd, that thofe who will not be directed by their 
 Parents, meet with ill Succefs in their Undertakings. 
 On the 6th of June 17 18, we fct fail for the Ca- 
 naries, being loaden with Beef, Butter, Cheefe, 
 Candles and Soap, and in a few Hours got clear of 
 the Land. But here I cannot but mention the fad 
 Condition my Mother was in at our parting; fhe ac- 
 companied me to the Side of the VefTel, and there, 
 
 with 
 
( 6 ) 
 
 with abundance of Tears, reprefented to me tha 
 
 Dangers of the Sea ; but finding it was too late to 
 detain me, fhc fwoon'd in my Arms. I then began 
 to wiih my felf free, and could not forbear fhedding 
 ibme Tears. The Captain who was prefent at this 
 Interview, being afraid my Mother's Tears would 
 move him fo much as to part with me, like a good 
 Man that wou'd avoid Temptation, went down to 
 his Cabbin, and gave Orders to bring me aboard by 
 force. His Orders were obey'd, and my Mother 
 was left as dead upon the Shore. I had no fooner 
 got aboard, but I was fet about ibme of the hardeft 
 Work of the Ship, and was comforted by being told 
 it would make me forget my Mother. This I bore 
 very patiently, having no Body to accufe but my 
 felf for my Sufferings. The Reader muft excufe me 
 if in this Voyage I do not give him an Account of 
 our Courfes, fince I being unacquainted with failing, 
 and fully griev'd for my Mother, did not much mind 
 them. 
 
 On the 12th of Augufl following, we arrived at 
 tfencriffc, being driven thither by ftrefs of Weather, 
 for our Dcfign was to land at Pahna, to take in Su- 
 gar i we got into Santa Cruz Bay, which is to the 
 North Eaft of the Ifland, and rode in 17 Fathom of 
 Water. The Storm continued for fome Days after 
 we had providentially caft Anchor ; during which 
 Time, my Curiofity and Rafhnefs prompted me to 
 afcend the Peak. 
 
 My Converfation with Sailors, and their Reports, 
 had given me fuch ftrange and pleafing Ideas of re- 
 mote Countries, during my ftay in Dublin, efpccially 
 of ^eneriffe, (altho 1 they vary'd a little in their Com- 
 putations 3 and many, I am perfuaded, have afhrm'd 
 that they have been at the Top of the Mountain, 
 when they never were within 1000 Leagues of the 
 Ifland) that I refolv'd to bu an Eye-witnefs of what 
 I had heard. 
 
 The 
 
(7) 
 
 The next Morning, I began to prepare for my in- 
 tended Journey, juft as the Sun was above the Horizon* 
 I haften'd Breakfaft as much as I cou'd, and after I 
 fhifted my lelf I begg'd the Affiftance of two of the 
 Sailors to fet me on Shore, which I obtain'd, on Con- 
 dition that I wou'd divide whatever I got, with them. 
 I confented and was fet on Shore. 
 
 I was no fooner landed, than I began ferioufly to 
 reflect on my folly, (then not hearing the Noife of 
 the Seamen, or Curfes of my Matter) Iremember'd 
 my Mothers warnings, but above all her fwooning : 
 My Mailer's fair Promifes before I was his Servant, 
 and his hard Ufage after, which made me often wifh 
 my felt* at home, and reckon my Stripes as my De- 
 ferts. I went on thus melancholy, till Iperceiv'd my 
 felf to afcend the Hill, and then I bent mv fe!f 
 wholly upon confirming what I had heard ; but to my 
 great furprize, I found fcarce one Word I had heard 
 to be true, except that the Mountain is very high. It 
 is certain that it is very large too, and that many may 
 have afcended it - 3 but then they may have afcended 
 by different Ways, and fome may have met with more 
 inequalities in their afcent than others, which may 
 have occafionM a Difference in their Accounts of its 
 Height. I was wholly unprovided with Inftruments 
 to take its Altitude, having brought nothing alon*- 
 with me, but a Bottle of Brandy, a Piece of Cheefe, 
 and a few Bifcuits. I only obferv'd, that I was $6 
 times weary in my afcent; by which given Number, 
 if my Health and habit of Body were now the fame, 
 I could eafily find out the Number fought for, viz. 
 the Height of it. For by going up and down any 
 Mountain of a moderate Height, till I was 56 times 
 weary, and by finding out a mean Proportional be- 
 tweenafcendingand descending, and by making allow- 
 ances for Trips and Stumbles, and the Storm, I hum- 
 bly conceive, an ordinary Mathematician may mea- 
 sure the Height of the Peak of fteneriffe 
 
 With 
 
With much difficulty I got within fight of the Top 
 of the Mountain, ( I mean fo as to fee every Part of 
 it diftinftly ) where I fat down to refrefh my felf. I 
 pull'd out a Bifcuit and held it in my left Hand, 
 vhilft I employ 'd my right in fearching for my Cheefe ; 
 but the Wind was i'o violent that it blow'd away half 
 my Bifcuit as if it had been a Wafer, which oblig'd 
 me to hold ray Head between my Legs, while I Eat 
 v hat I thought proper -, but I am not certain to this 
 Day, whether the Bifcuit was crack'd or not. At 
 length I arriv'd at the very Summit of the Mountain, 
 where I was oblig'd to difcharge by Vomiting what I 
 had lately eaten, that purer Air being very difagreeable 
 to my grofs Conftitution ; this made me think very 
 meanly of my felf, who in my own Country wascon- 
 ftantly complaining of clofe and foggy Weather; 
 when I found that fuch a Place was no more fit for 
 me to breathe in, than Heaven is for habitual Sinners, 
 if they might be permitted to go there without Re- 
 pentance. 
 
 Whilft I was thus meditating on my own corrupt 
 Nature, a fudden Whirlwind came, that rais'd me 
 from the Place I flood on j Ifuppofe, that by Vomi- 
 ting, (for it was very violent) I had increased the 
 bulk of my Body, by the fwclling of its Parts in my 
 convulfive Motions ; fo that it then became equal to 
 more columns of Air than it was equal to before ray 
 Vomiting ; befides it was become lighter by the dis- 
 charge I had made, which might alone produce what 
 follow'd. For fince we know that Veflels at a Key 
 float or lye adrift as the Tide comes in, or goes out, 
 and learned Men have given us this Reafon for it, 
 WSj. That at high Water, the fubjacent columns of 
 Water are greater, or at leaft equal to the Bulk and 
 Weight of the Vcflel, and at low Water the contra- 
 ry ; it follows, that there muft be acertain quantity of 
 Water, lefs than which wou'd not be able to fuftaina 
 Body of a certain Weight and Magnitude. This may be 
 
 eafily 
 
( 9) 
 
 cafily apply'd, by confidering that Air and Water are 
 both Fluids, and differ only in their Deniity, ar.dfome 
 other Properties which I have no occafionto mention ; 
 fo that it is probable in the laft Degree, that my Body 
 became then fo proportionate to the fubjacent columns 
 of Air, that it eafily fuftain'd me. Oradmitting, not 
 granting, that this will not clearly account for it, I 
 can yet have recourfe to the Storm, which was then 
 the Occafion of the continued Motion of my Body. 
 But leaving fuch Difquifitions to the Learned, and 
 confefling my own Weaknefs in attempting any thing 
 of this Kind, I mall proceed to relate what happen'd 
 in my Voyage to the Moon, (for fo I may call it) 
 having already hinted at the Analogy between Air 
 and Water. After I had been rais'd from the Moun- 
 tain, I was carried at fuch a rate for a while, that I 
 almoft loft my Breath 5 but the Force of the Whirl- 
 wind gradually abating, my PalTage became more 
 eafy, till I came to a Place of Refting. This was a 
 Space between the Vortices of the Earth and Moon, 
 where the Attraction of neither prevail'd, but the 
 contrary Motions of their Effluvia deflroy'd one 
 another. 
 
 Here I began to look about me, and deplore my 
 Condition ; I feared that when my Provifion was con- 
 fum'd, (for that I happen'd to have kept, being bet- 
 ter fecur'd than my Hat, which had been blown away,) 
 I muft inevitably die with Hunger, tho 1 1 werefecure 
 from being crufn'd by filling to either of the Planets: 
 But my Pride foon prevail'd over this defponding 
 Humour, when I confider'd my Circumftances in a- 
 nother light. I began to think I was too good for the 
 Society of Mortals, which Opinion I was encourag'd 
 in, by calling to mind every Action which I thought 
 Ihou'd be rewarded, throwing the bad Ones entirely 
 out of the Account : So that I now fancied my felf 
 made a Star, and that as mv Body was to give Light 
 to Men's Eyes, fo my Adions which I accounted 
 good, were to be fet as an Example they fhou'd imi- 
 
 B tat^ 
 
( io ) 
 
 fate. And altho' upon furveying my felf, I found no- 
 thing Luminous about me, yet I was perfuaded thofe 
 on Earth wou'd think othervvife, and that I was ren- 
 dered incapable of perceiving it my felf at that Time, 
 left: being confcious of it I mou'd become too haughty 
 and unHt for that exalted Station. But then I began 
 toconfider, whether I might not derive the Light which 
 I thought I gave from the &*, and by the Motion of 
 my Arms, and flow ing of my Hair,be taken for a Comet. 
 But this I rejected as erroneous, and wou'd not beob- 
 lig'd to the Sun for his Rays, lb that I refolved to be in- 
 dependent, and model mv Courfe by my own Reafon. 
 This I inftantly fet about, and refolvingto be fingular, 
 and make People gaze at me, I intended to move from 
 S. S. E. to N. N. W. and to perform but one "Revolu- 
 tion in a royal Period, whether it happened to belong 
 orlhort, lb that I might be confulted about the Fate of 
 a King, tho* I knew nothing of the Matter. 
 
 Ple.is'd with thofe imaginary Profpects, and being 
 well refted, I began to ftir, and put my Projects in Ex- 
 ecution i but this I found fo difficult by means of the 
 contrary Attractions, that my former defponding Hu- 
 mour return'd with an addition of Malice and Envy. 
 I faw that I muft Die, and perhaps never be heard of 
 if I continued where I was, fo that I ftrove with all 
 my might, to throw my felf back to the Earth, hoping 
 I might kill forne Body by my Fall, whofe Friends 
 wou'd fpread abroad my Fame, tho' ignorant of my 
 Intentions. Tocompafsthis, after much Labour, Ire- 
 mov'd my felf fomewhat farther from the Verge of the 
 Earth's Atmofphere, intending to fall with the greater 
 Rapidity, and bring certain Death to any Mortal I 
 fhou'd chance to light on. But this I fhou'd never 
 have any hopes of obtaining, had it not been that a 
 Cloud full of Hail was driven towards me by the 
 Whirlwind. I laid hold on the Opportunity, and put- 
 ting both ray Hands againft it, by ail Strength, I 
 caus'd it to re-act upon me as much as I acted upon 
 it, fo that I was quickly remov'd into the Sphere of 
 
 the 
 
t » ) 
 
 the Moon's Attraction, more than I intended ; for two 
 thirds of my Body being attracted by the Moon, the 
 reft foon follow'd, fo that I was carried with incre- 
 dible fwiftnefs, which ftill increas'din my fall towards 
 that Planet. 
 
 It was my good Fortune to fall into a Filh-pond, 
 which our fharp-fighted Philoibphers miftake for a Part 
 of the Sea, and call it Sinus Ronm $ but I hope they 
 will not be fobold as to deny what I fay, fince they 
 all confefs that they never were there. It is call'din 
 the Language of the Moon Brugg-§niqns becaufe it be- 
 longs to the King of §{nqns. By good Fortune the 
 King's Fifherman was angling for the Diverfion of 
 fome of ihe Court, when I fell into the Pond, and the 
 hook which was tied to his Line, got into one of my 
 Button-holes, fo that he was obliged either to draw 
 me out, tho' my Fall had terribly affrighted them, or 
 lofe his Rod, which wou'd have been punifh'd with. 
 Death, for there they are oblig'd to perform whatever 
 they undertake, be it never fo difficult. 
 
 CHAP. II. 
 
 Containing an Account of the People's Care of him. His 
 Surprize upon his Recovery. His manner of Lear- 
 ning their Language in a Night's time, with an Ac- 
 count for it. 
 
 WET and dirty as I was, and Dead in all out- 
 ward Appearance, he drew me out of the 
 Pond to the Amazement of all that faw me. I was 
 carried to the King's great Hall to be confulted on, 
 and expos'd to publick View. All that faw me believ'd 
 me to be a Land Animal, and that fome Bird of Prey 
 had dropc me, being tir'd with my weight ; but their 
 chief concern was to bring me to life, which was foon 
 effected, by a few Herbs which they pounded, pouring 
 the juice of them down ray Throat, and applying tU 
 JLeavesby way of Poultice to my Pofteriors. It may 
 
 B 2 fee in 
 
( ■« ) 
 
 U-em a little ftrange, that thofe Herbs fhou'd be fo 
 rtul j but it' we conflder that the Moot has an 
 Influence upon the Plants of the Earth, u hence they 
 derive their medicinal Qualities, it follows that the 
 nearer any Plant is to that Body, it poffefles thofe 
 qualities in a more eminent Degree, and confequently 
 that thofe which grow upon it muft excel all others. 
 The Plight I was in upon my firft opening my Eyes, 
 had like to deprive me utterly of that Life which they 
 wereio follicitous to preferve; and I will leave it to 
 anv Man's own Breaft, whether he wou'd not be ter- 
 rified as much as I was, to find himfelf among fuch 
 a Set of Animals as I am going to defcribe, without 
 knowing how he was introduced to fuch Company. 
 The Aflembly was made up of Brutes and half Brutes, 
 there were Bears, Wolves, Tygers, Foxes, Monkeys, 
 Cats and Dogs, &c. and thofe of ieveral Kinds, with 
 certain other Animals, very like the Pictures which I 
 have feen of Beafts, in the Eaft and Weft- Indies; others 
 had only one or more Members of Beafts; but what 
 amaz'd me moft of all was, that thofe Brutes walk'd 
 upright and fpoke, which I am fure was enough to 
 terrifieany Man that has liv'd fince JSfop'a Days. The 
 firft I took notice of, was a Wolf, that held me by the 
 Wrift; I apprehended that he wou'd inftantly devour 
 me, upon the Notice which I thought he had of an 
 Earthy Smell about me, by the extraordinary finenels 
 of his olfactory Nerves, whence he might judge me 
 to be Dead ; for I miftook the Poultice in my Breeches 
 for fomething more ofFenfive; but I afterwards under- 
 ftood, that he was only an eminent Phyfician, that 
 had not always good Succefs, and was then feeling my 
 Pulfe. I found my fclf very weak, and was for ta- 
 king a Dram, for 1 had ftill kept my Bottle, but my 
 Doctor Wolf hindred me, alledging as I underftood 
 after, that my Diftemper was not yet come to its 
 Crifis. He was of Opinion, that the Humours of 
 the Body infill as much upon Liberty and Pro- 
 perty, 
 
( «3 ; 
 
 perty, and are as fenfible of an Affront as an Evglijfj- 
 man^ and that Di (tempers arile only from their driv- 
 ing to keep out Strangers ; befides, the animal Spirits 
 are defign'd for a Standing Army to fupprefs Riots, 
 and affift the weak Proprietor ; but confidering the 
 great wafte I had made of them, and that Brandy was 
 afpirituous Liquor, he fear'd that a Dram wou'd be 
 too powerful an Enemy for what was left of my ani- 
 mal Spirits, and that the Conflict wou'd end in my 
 Deftructjon. 
 
 I was forc'd to fubmit to his Judgment without 
 knowing at that time his Reafons, and was convey'd 
 by a couple of Aiaftiffs in the Ticking of a Bolfter, 
 which "ihey had emptied for that purpole, to a conve- 
 nient Apartment. The Room where I was laid, was 
 order'd to \ _pt dark 'till I cou'd learn their Lan- 
 guage j and a Geiv'c-man with an Afs's Head, ap- 
 pointed to inftruc~tme. The Method v.hich he took 
 for my Improvement, was to make me repeat after 
 him the Names of thofe Things I feem'd to haveoc- 
 cafion for, and 'till I had done fo, I was fure not to 
 get the ufe of them. I improv'd daily to his great 
 Satisfaction, 'till I thought I was able to walk abroad ; 
 but not knowing how to exprefs my felf to him fo 
 as to be underftood, or why my Chamber was conti- 
 nually dnrken'd, I ventur'd to get up once before 
 him, and grope for my Cloaths ; bun he imagining 
 that I wanted the Chamber-Fot, brought it to me 
 with great fpeed, crying out Lvildnfe, which was the 
 Name of it, that I mighr repeat it after him j but I 
 was fo provok'd at his Miftake, that I only anfwer'd 
 in plain Englifo B — d and W— ds; he thinking that I 
 ftrove to repeat Lmlinfe, when I curs'd and fwore, 
 and finding that I did not do it, imputed it to fome 
 Defect in my Tongue ; upon which he inftantly left 
 me to go and advife with his Brethren. Not finding 
 my Cloaths, I was oblig'd to lie down again, full of 
 Indignation, and reiblv'd rather to ftarve my felf, 
 than live as I had done much longer. But my Tutor 
 
 foon 
 
( i4 ) 
 
 foon rcturn'd with a couple of Mules, who were to 
 ailift him in the fplitting of my Tongue with a Silver 
 Three-pence. One of the Mules approach'd me with 
 a Candle and a Three-penny Piece, uhilft the other 
 fecur'd my Hands, and my Tutor offer'd to open my 
 Mouth, often repeating Lwldufe. I thought at firft 
 they had defign'd the Three-penny Piece for the 
 fame Ufe to me that Demojlbenes made of Pebbles^ 
 'till they began to proceed to the Operation. My 
 Tutor had made me roar fo much, and become fo 
 uneafy, by an immoderate Expanfion of my Jaws, that 
 I happily put out the Candle, which gave me fome 
 refpite, and fruftratcd their Intentions ; for we were 
 no fooner in the Dark, and that I was left to my felf, 
 whilft the others were employ'd in lighting the Can- 
 dle, and getting Ropes to tie me, than I rofe to put 
 my felf in a pofture of Defence, fufpecting their In- 
 tentions, from the Ufage I remember'd to have feen 
 Magpies meet with in my own Country. But they 
 return'd before I cou'd find any thing which I 
 thought proper for my Defence, fo that I refolved 
 to repeat whatever they faid as diftinclly as I cou'd, 
 hoping by that means to preferve my Tongue, which 
 fucceeded as I cou'd wiih. For my Tutor, upon his 
 Entry, was difcourfing very ferioufly with a young 
 Man whom he brought to aflift him, and among other 
 Words, often mentioned Lnildnfe 9 which I repeated 
 very diftinctly. The whole Company turn'd their 
 Eyes upon my Tutor, who, appearing furpriz'd, left 
 the Room. I ran to the young Man, whom I had 
 not feen before, and by many obliging Geftures pre- 
 vail'd upon him to itay with me. They obferv'd my 
 Eondnefs for him, and thought him to be the moft 
 proper Pcrfon to inftruct me. Vckbrff, for that was 
 his Name, accepted of the Office, and to my great 
 Satisfaction, in a fhort Time, made me fit for Con- 
 verfation. He was one that had been a Brute, but 
 by applying to Learning, and confidering his Folly, 
 he recover'd his human Shape; he was generally de- 
 
 fpis'd 
 
( '5) 
 
 fpis'd by all Beafts, and by fome reputed to be a Con- 
 jurer, fmce there were Beafts that affirm'd themfelves 
 to be more virtuous than him, yet were in no like- 
 lihood of recovering their human Form. He did not 
 much mind their Afperfions, but employ'd himfelt* 
 chiefly in reclaiming fuch as he found mod tractable. 
 He obferv'd that I was one of good natural Parts, and 
 might probably arrive at Knowledge by fhorter Me- 
 thods than had been us'd with his Countrymen. The 
 firft Tryal which he made of me, was to make me 
 perfect Mafter of their Language^ and this he effected 
 in a Night's Time, after the manner I fhall relate. 
 He took a large and correct Dictionary, and minc'd 
 the Leaves of it ; thofe he put into an Earthen Vef- 
 fel half full of Water, and cover'd it fo clofe that no 
 Air could come into it ; he plac'd the VefTel, with 
 its upper Part parallel to the Horizon, upon a gen- 
 tle Fire, where he let it remain thirty- nine Minutes. 
 The Air which was inclos'd in the VefTel, being put 
 into a violent Motion by the Heat of the Fire, to- 
 gether with the Motion of the Water, foon redue'd 
 the mine'd Leaves to a Confiftence of Jelly. The 
 VefTel had been cover'd fo clofely, to hinder any of the 
 Letters from being carried off in Vapours, and that 
 the Air in the upper part of the VefTel might act with 
 the greater Force. He then fet it by to cool, before 
 he ventur'd to uncover it ; and when it was perfectly 
 cold, gave it to me to eat for Soivins with White- 
 wine and Sugar. This ferv'd me for Supper, and I 
 was order'd to fleep as foon as I had taken it ; he 
 wou'd not leave me that Night, but watch'd me as I 
 flept, and afTur'd me in the Morning, that he was 
 wonderfully delighted to hear me break Wind in my 
 Sleep ; fometimes with all the force of Rhetorick, 
 fometimes in the Tone of a Grammarian. 
 
 W 7 hcn I awoke, I receiv'd a particular Account of 
 what he had done, and thank'd him with all imagi- 
 nable Expreflions of Gratitude. But I was very de- 
 firous to know whether the Mules intended to flit my 
 
 Tongue 
 
C •* ; 
 
 Tongue or not, or if they did, what cou'd be their 
 reafon tor it ; to which I receiv'd this Anfwer : That 
 I might obfervc, that in their Language four or more 
 Conlbnants were often join'd in one Word without a 
 Vowel intervening, and confequently requir'd a grea- 
 ter Volubility of Tongue than other Languages where 
 the Cafe is otherwife, that Member being chiefly 
 employ'd in the Pronunciation of Confonants ; And 
 in order to my more fpeedy and better learning their 
 Language, it was thought advifable to divide my 
 Tongue, that I might be able to pronounce two 
 Confonants at once, iince I had not been accuftom'd 
 to it from my Infancy j and that my former Tutor, 
 miftaking my Meaning, (as I had inform'd him) had 
 perfuaded fome as ignorant as himfelf to confent to 
 the Propofal. 
 
 CHAP. III. 
 
 Containing an Account of his being fent for by the King. 
 His Difcourfe with Tckbrff about the King. His 
 Manner of approaching him. Some Obfervations on 
 bis Courtiers. His Approach to him. His efcaping 
 being put to death j and what Difcourfe he had with 
 Tckbrff about the People of his own Country, and 
 the People of the Moon. 
 
 TH E King upon notice of my Recovery, gave 
 Orders that I fhou'd be brought before him ; 
 upon which I defir'd the Advice ofttckbrff: He told 
 me firft that the King, who was an abfolute Mo- 
 narch, was an ambitious Tyrant, he was one that 
 never troubled himfelf about the Good of his Peo- 
 ple j but if ever their Intereft interfered with his even 
 unlawful Diverfions, it was entirely neglected ; he 
 was a great Lover of Pleafure, and of every thing 
 that was new, which he was pleas'd to call polite 
 Learning, (tho 5 he was often fond of, and encourag'd 
 the greateft Abfurdities) 5 an Inftance of which he 
 
( «7 ) 
 
 gave me, in the Preferment of one to great Pofts of 
 Truft, who had only proposed to make the Rays of 
 Light palpable to the Hands ; out of which, when 
 his Defign was perfected, he intended that an Apart- 
 ment for the King fhou'd be built ; and altho' the 
 failing in a Project was to be punifh'd with Death, 
 where the Projectors were fuch FooJs as to confcfs 
 their Difappointment, yet this Man requir'd fuch a 
 long Time, and fo great Expences, that he was fure 
 to outlive his Propofals. He had, however, amus'd 
 the King with an odd Account of the Means he 
 wou'd make ufe of, and made them fo unintelligible 
 by the help of the Matheraaticks, that he was be- 
 liev'd to mean honeftly, and a Penfion was fettled on 
 him for effecting his Defign. The Rays of Light 
 were to be let into a dark Room, one by one, thro 3 
 Holes equal to their Bulk, which he affirmed he was 
 well acquainted with. Here was a Mathematical 
 Demonitration of an Hour long, which I omit for 
 the Reader's fake. They were then to be refracted 
 ninety-nine times by paffing thro' different Mediums, 
 which wou'd weaken their Force fo much, that they 
 might be at length fix'd in a Liquor which he had 
 prepar'd for that purpofe ; and when the vacant In- 
 terfaces of the Liquor were fill'd with them, (for he 
 afferted that there was a Vacuum) by Chymical Ope- 
 rations, he wou'd gather them into VefTels to be re- 
 ferv'd, till he got enough of all Colours for erecting 
 the Building. The Cement which he propos'd for 
 them, was Carte/Jus's fubtle Matter, which might be 
 gather'd by Sheets daub'd with a bituminous Sub- 
 fiance, compounded of the Effluvia of certain Bo- 
 dies, whofe Virtues he was well acquainted with. 
 Thofe Sheets were to be hung in the open Air till 
 the fubtle Matter had cover'd them ; then they were 
 to be boil'd in VefTels hermetically feal'd 'till the fub- 
 tle Matter had ftuck to the Tops of them, whence 
 it might be taken and laid by for ufe. This fhort 
 
 C Accounc 
 
( 18 ) 
 
 Account he gave of one among the many famous Men 
 who were then at Court. 
 
 I defied to know In what manner I was to approach 
 his Maiefty ; and was told, that fince I was a loreig- 
 ner the moft proper Method wou'd be to walk upon 
 my Hands with my Heels upwards, that the King 
 might have the better Opinion or my Abilities; and 
 was affiled, that the Novelty of the Thing wou d be 
 very acceptable. I lik'd the Propofal, and was two 
 Da(s in learning to walk in that manner ; during 
 which Time I pretended not to be throughly reco- 
 ver'd, and il-d only upon learned Books in their Lan- 
 guage prepaid as before. I voided nothing by way 
 of Excrement all the while I liv'd upon Books, but 
 a few falfe Concords, which cou'd not fubfift within 
 me, on account of a Meal I had made upon Criticilms. 
 When the Time came that I was to appear before 
 his Maiefty, I was conduced by fckhrff to the Pa- 
 lace to wait 'till I was call'd for. While I was at- 
 tending the King's Levee, I could not but make ma- 
 ny Obfervations upon the ftrange Behaviour or the 
 Courtiers, whofe different Paffions and Intercfts I 
 cou'd eafily difcern. 1 faw a Fox and a Calt abort- 
 ing each other with great Civility, tho' I am certain 
 that they were inveterate Enemies: But their man- 
 ner of Salutation, which feem'd a little extraordinary, 
 may perhaps be worth the Reader's notice. They 
 liow'd moft courteoufly to each other at firft light, 
 which continued 'till they had the Happineis to fluke 
 Hands ; I expefted that a Kifs wou'd enfue, but it 
 feems the Gentlemen were better bred; for, upon 
 making Hands, each apply'd his Nofe to the Pofte- 
 riors of the other ; where, after they had regal d their 
 Scr.fc of Smelling for a few Moments, they began ro 
 exprefs their Hatred for one another in the molt 
 obliging Terms, fckhrff, as learned as he was, and 
 
 n I am much indebted, cou'd not give me a 
 natural Reafori for this manner of Compliment, which 
 
 hilar to Men of high Rank; for the common 
 
( IP) 
 
 People affected Cle-anlinefs in that Cafe, and made ufe 
 of joining their Lips to thofe of their Friends upon 
 meeting. He told me indeed, that the joining of the 
 Lips of Friends was founded in Nature, and bore an 
 Hieroglyphical Meaning. For fince it is by what 
 proceeds from the Mouth, that a Man is well or ill 
 reputed of j and that we cannot judge of all Men by 
 their Writings j that the greater part of Mankind 
 know not how to write, it is evident that Nature, 
 which operates by the moft general and compendious 
 Ways, hath taught us to join our Lips in Friendfhip, 
 where two Pcrfons mould be refolv'd to agree in their 
 Sentiments, and fubmit to the moll powerful Reafons 
 that fhall be pronounc'd by either with refpect to 
 fome Truth or Truths wherein they are both con- 
 cern'd ; as when two Brothers meet, they fhould 
 both be refolv'd before-hand to agree in this, that 
 the Welfare of their Parents was to be defir'd and 
 promoted by them to the utmoft of their Power; the 
 joining of Lips intimating a Conformity of Opinions, 
 which thro 5 the Lips were to be convey'd. But the 
 Deference which I'ckbrff paid to Courtiers, as being 
 Men of Power and Learning, made him incapable of 
 affigning a Reafon for their fmelling to the Back-parts 
 upon meeting ; and his Inft.rucl.ions had fo far pre- 
 vail'd upon me, that I dar'd not even to think, du- 
 ring my flay among them, fo as that I might not be 
 favourably underftood by any indifferent Perfon, had 
 I exprefs'd my Meaning in Words. But fince I caote 
 to my own Country, I began to think as freely as my 
 Neighbours, and examine many Things in the Moon 
 by Englffi Rules, particularly the manner of Saluta- 
 tion among Courtiers juft mentioned. I believe that 
 they well knowing that thro 5 the Fundament the moft 
 {linking Excrement is convey 5 d ; and that the In- 
 tention, as well as Habit of Body, may from its 
 Smell, Shape, and Colour, be guefs'd at, have, to 
 avoid needlefs Expreffions, fuch as How do you d% 
 wifely made ufe of this Method to inform themfelves 
 
 C 2 I 
 
( 2° ) 
 
 I am fenfible that fome ill-meaning Perfons may fay, 
 that this Salute is very like that uied by two Jrijb 
 Curs, when each fufpects the other to differ from him 
 in Sex, and hopes he may prove a Bitch. But thoie 
 .Gentlemen may be pleas'd to confider, that both the 
 Perfons mentioned were really Brutes, and that this 
 Compliment pafj'd between them purely out ofCom- 
 plaiiancei tho' I cannot affirm it for certain Truth i 
 or elfe my own Solution of the Matter might fatisfy, 
 I think, an unprejudic'd Perfon. 
 
 But to return from this Digreflion : While I was 
 entertaining my felf with Reflections on the Beha- 
 viour of thofe People, notice was given me that his 
 Majefty was at leifure to look at mej I inftantly in- 
 verted my Body, and began to move upon my Hands 
 after my Guide, but had much difficulty in my Paf- 
 i'age i for the Courtiers prefs'd fo hard to view me 
 in this uncommon Pofture, that they often trod upon 
 my Fingers. At length I came into the King's Pre- 
 fence, where I met with different Treatment at firft 
 from what I expected ; for after that I had made the 
 greateft Proteftations of my Fidelity and Readinefs 
 to ferve him in the Court Dialect, he told me, with 
 a Frown, that he took me for an Impoftor, who, to 
 carry on fome Dcfigns againft the State, and prevent 
 my being readily known, had appear'd in that man- 
 ner. He added, that I muft certainly be a Scufwlr, 
 (which Word, in our Language, fignifies a Man of 
 Law, if you interpret it literally) or one that under- 
 took to prove both Sides of a Queftion, fince I had 
 now made it doubtful, which End of a Man ought 
 to be uppermoft j and concluded that I mould be re- 
 warded accordingly ; but the Time and Manner of 
 it were yet to be conilder'd of. I fhou'd have inevi- 
 tably died at that Time, had it not been for a Lie 
 which I told ; for I affur'd his Majefty, that all Fo- 
 reigners of Diftinclion, as well as AmbafTadors, ap- 
 proach our Kings in that Pofture which he faw me inj 
 whence he inferr'd, that it was difficult to know which 
 
 was. 
 
(*, ) 
 
 was the fure End of them, and when they were in earn- 
 eft. I was inftantly order' d to refume my natural 
 Pofture, and give a full and clear Account of my felf. 
 To Ihew my Art in getting upon myFeet, I defcrib'd 
 with my big Toes the Portion of a Circle, whole Ra- 
 dius was nearly equal to the Length of my Body; I 
 then anfwer'd all the Queftions which were put to 
 me concerning the manner of my coming into that 
 Kingdom, and the Government and Cuftoms of my 
 own Nation. The great Knowledge which I had of 
 their Language, fupply'd me with fuch Variety of 
 elegant Expreflions, that the King took me for a Per- 
 fon of an uncommon Genius, as he was pleafed to 
 term it, and told me that I fhould find the Marks of 
 his royal Favour ; tho 5 I am inclined to believe he 
 intended to make ufe of my Judgment and Parts to 
 enflave his People the more, if poflible, and perpe- 
 trate his Cruelty with the greater Securitv. 
 
 However there was a Penfion fettled on me for my 
 Support, 'till a Place fhould fall, which I might be 
 thought capable of managing. Zfckbrff, after we had 
 withdrawn from the King, told me that he believed 
 we were all honefl Men in my Country, and could 
 wifh to be among them ; for furely, faid he, none 
 that has but the leaft part of a Man about him, can 
 dilbbey thofe moft reafonable Laws of that excellent 
 Conftitution, where the Interefts of the King and the 
 People are fo blended, that it is impoffible for the one 
 to fubfifl without the other; and where the People 
 muft out of Gratitude love him whofe chief and con- 
 fhnt Care it is to preferve them in their Rights and 
 Privileges. 
 
 I cou'd not but fmile at his Difcourfe, and tell him, 
 that notwithstanding they enjoy'd all thofe mighty 
 Bleflings which he had mention'd, they were perhaps 
 the moft refractory and rebellious People in the Solar 
 Syftcm. He doubted my Veracity, 'till I explained \ - 
 him, as well as I could, the Difference between // " ~ 
 and Story, Protejlant and Pdpift, and told him with v. 
 
 Zeal 
 
( 22 ) 
 
 Zeal every Man maintain'd that Opinion which he 
 cmbrac'd thro 5 Ignorance, Prejudice, or lntereft, 
 without daring to examine his Principles by an infal- 
 lible Rule, left he fhou'd fee any Reafon tor renoun- 
 cing that Error he was {o fond of, if it fhou'd prove 
 one. I gave him alfoan Account of their proceedings 
 againftaKing, that thro' Faction and private lntereft 
 v. as put to Death, yet might have fav'd his Life and 
 his Crown if he wou'd confent with wicked Minifters 
 to opprefs his People. Here tfckbrff exprefs'd the 
 greateft Indignation and Horror mix'd with a Degree 
 of Pity for the unthinking Contrivers of his Death; 
 and ask'd me how I could preferve my human Shape 
 among fuch a corrupted Multitude. I told nirn that 
 we carried on our raoft wicked Practices, and encou- 
 rag'd the vileft Paffions with the greateft fhew of Hu- 
 manity, and beg'dof him to let me know if he could, 
 how k came to pafs that his Countrymen, were lb un- 
 happy as to have their Thoughts prefigur'd in their 
 Bodies ; or why fuch Metamorphofes did not make 
 them Honeft ? He reply'd, that the Reafon why thofe 
 Transformations did not make them Honeft, was 
 owing to the Ignorance of their Deformity ; for every 
 Man judg'd favourably of himfelf by a Mifconftruction 
 of his Actions, and it was obfervable, that no Perfon 
 who had any par: of a Bead: in hiscompoiition,cou'd 
 with a flight View behold his own Defects, tho' he 
 often faw more brutal Members in others than they 
 really had, which proceeded from a Defir^ they had 
 that it fhou'd be fo ; for they miftaking Virtue tor a 
 relative Thing, imagin'd every Man to be Virtuous, 
 than whom they cou'd find one more Brutal ; never 
 confidering,that he,who wou'd defervethe Character of 
 a good Man, muft obferve to the utmoft of his Pow- 
 er, an exact Conformity of every of his Actions to 
 right Reafon. As to the Changes which our Bodies 
 are fubject to, ( continued he ) the beft Account which 
 I find in Writings or Tradition is this; that our 
 Pore-Fathers in the early Age c ^ die Iiloo;:, before 
 
 they 
 
( *3 ) 
 
 they had built them Houfes j were oblig'd to live in 
 Caves, and by that means were much converfant with 
 Beafts of all kinds ; and as the Principle of Self-love 
 began to be mifunderflood, they began to imitate and 
 put in Practice the Difpofitions and Actions of thofe 
 Beafts which were moft agreeable to their Inclinations ; 
 here they began to grow cunning and deceive each o- 
 ther, and each himfelf, with the Sagacity of Brutes, 
 as their private Intereft prevail'd. Now fince we know 
 that all Bodies, efpecially thofe of a morefoft Texture, 
 derive certain Qualities from thofe Bodies which are 
 neareft to them, fo as fometimes to appear quite diffe- 
 rent from what they really are j it is probable that 
 different Men diligently attending different Brutes to 
 obferve'their own, had their correfpondent .Members 
 transform'd into thofe of the Brute they attended ; 
 but whether this was done by the Effluvia that proceeded 
 from the Beaft, as the Moderns hold ; or by fome na- 
 tural Magick, as the Antients were of Opinion, I will 
 not take upon me to determine ; but 'tis faid that the 
 firft Changes were thus made, which have continu- 
 ed for fo many Ages. 
 
 I then ask'd him, how they came to be fo negligent 
 of the Education of the Heir apparent to the Crown, 
 as to fufler him to afcend the Throne with any Mem- 
 bers of a Beaft $ for I had taken notice when I was 
 before the King, that he had the Head and the right 
 Paw of a Lion. He anfwer'd that their King was 
 elective, and that upon a King's deceafe, theycrown'd 
 one who was remarkable for the good Services he had 
 done his Country, and for the Perfectnefs of his hu- 
 man Form j but the beft they cou'd find, wou'd fome- 
 times upon his being invefted with fo much Power, 
 give a Loofe to his irregular Defires, fince he ob- 
 tain'd all that 'he had fo long wifh'd for ; and it was 
 obfervable in the King I had feen, that his left Hand 
 was inclin'd to be hairy, and that he never par'd the 
 Nails of it, whence it was expected that it wou'd foon 
 become like the other. Here I cou'd not but praife 
 
 our 
 
( »4 ) 
 
 our own King, who before his Accefiion to the Crown 
 had fignaliz'd himfelf for his Valour, and often ha- 
 zarded his Life for the Defence of his Country, and 
 after his Coronation improv'd the good Qualities he 
 was before pofTefs'd of, to the great Joy of his People. 
 ffckbrff wifn'd that their Government might be chang'd 
 to that of the Englijb, for he often bewail'd the refera- 
 ble confequences of unlimited Power in a Sovereign; 
 
 CHAP. IV. 
 
 Containing an Account of their Difcourfe about an Amour 
 between Fribbigghe and Blmmil. ^their Characters. 
 He turns Fribbigghe'.* Rival. Makes a Speech to 
 Blmmfl. Fribbigghe is discarded. 
 
 WE then began to difcourfe about an Amour 
 that was much talk'd of, between a Tabby Cat y 
 and a black and white Lap-Dog, and it was believ'd 
 that it wou'd be a Match, from the Similitude of their 
 Intellects. 
 
 The Cat which was the Male, was a noted Fortune- 
 hunter, and one that had as little pretenfions to a 
 Lady's Heart as any in the Kingdom of Quqns, ifhe 
 was confider'd to be what he really was. He was one 
 that laid out his fmall Fortune entirely upon his Cloaths, 
 and contented himfelf with more ordinary Meals than 
 an Jrijb Footman wou'd do, when he eat at his own 
 Expence. He was a great Pretender to Wit and good 
 Sen^e, tho' deftitute of both : This I affirm on my 
 own certain Knowledge of the Man^ but others pro- 
 ceeded fome what further, whole Cenfure 1 fnall fub- 
 mit to the candid Reader. They {aid that he was a 
 Coward and had broke off the Point of his Sword one 
 Day under a Pretence of fharpening it ; but thofe Gen- 
 tlemen may be pleas'd to confider, that a Cat (whofe 
 Form Fribbigghe, for that was the Creature's Name) 
 ufurp'd, does fometimes, force its Nails into a Poll in 
 order to make them (harper, tho' it may by chance 
 
 meet 
 
( =1 ) 
 
 meet with one fomewhat too hard to bepierc'd, and 
 break a Nail in the Experiment; why then mightnot 
 Fribbigghe run his Sword into a Beam, for none are 
 pofitiveas to the Manner of breaking it, and if the 
 Blade prov'd bad, with a fafe Conference leave a Bit of 
 it in the Wood ; or clfe he might defignedly break it 
 to prevent Murder, fince he was often affronted? 
 Others reported that he was a Fool, and had given 
 out that he had kick'd a Gentleman, who it was be- 
 liev'd had kick'd him, fince he always fhunn'd him ; 
 and that he boafted of Favours receiv'd from a Lady, 
 who upon his Second Vifit had forbid him her Houfe. 
 But what he hated moft of all to be told of was, the 
 laying o 4 ut of 3 s. and 7 d. which was all that he had 
 at a certain Time : He gave 3 s. 3 d. to Chairmen on 
 a dry Day, and after buying Snuff with 3 Pence 
 more, referv'd but a fingle Penny for his Supper, 
 when it unfortunately happen'd that he was oblig'd to 
 Sup in his own Room. He never met with fo good 
 Succefs in any Amour as he did in this I am fpeak- 
 ing of, for he had often patiently born a Beating for . 
 his Impudence, which he call'd Gallantry, and began 
 to betir'dof the Lap-dog, becaufe he had met with 
 fo little difficulty in his Addreffes, and valu'd her as 
 he did all others chiefly for her Fortune. The Lap- 
 Dog which was fo much taken Notice of in the Moon, 
 wou'd not I am certain obtain the fame Character in 
 Dublin : I rather think that fhe wou'd pafs for an ac- 
 complifh'd Lady ; and that every Mathematical Figure 
 which fhe would publifh in her Head-cloaths would be 
 induftrioufly taken notice of, and fet forth in many 
 different Editions. If I begin with her Motion, it was 
 neither Natural or Eafy, for if it were, it wou'd be al- 
 ways the fame, and fhe wou'd not be fo choice of it. 
 I have feen her in many different ways of pafilng along 
 a Walk ; fuch as Ambling, Pacing, Trotting, and 
 fometimes Running, and often in a Je ne [cay quoy 
 Maimer that was a Compound of feveral of the fore- 
 mention'd : And have been told that when fhe hts had 
 
 D no 
 
( ^ ) 
 
 \ i liters to excufe her, (he has call'd a Servant fa 
 her thePoaker from the other Side of the Fire. 
 At all publick Places me only minded the various Ap- 
 pearances which others made; perhaps it may be hence 
 concluded, that (he was a Lady of good Sen fe and one 
 that obterv'd Mankind, to make her ownConduct the 
 more Regular : But I aiTure you that (he only minded 
 the Outfide, and could not fmell a Beaux Brain's, 
 tor the Eflence in his Wig, or difcover a groveling 
 Soul in a Brocade Waftcoat ; and People that did not 
 much care for her, were wont to fay that it was a Max- 
 im with her, that much Powder on a Beaux Shoulders 
 fignified much Senfe; and fmart Repartee,was denoted 
 by an Hat, if I may fo call it, made to be carried un- 
 der the Arm. Yet this I may venture to fay in her 
 Praife, that (he always minded one thing in publick 
 Places, and that was the Drefs of others, which (he 
 cou'd give a better Account of when (he came Home 
 than of any thing that wasfaid ; which will be an Argu- 
 ment of her good Judgment as long as a Philofopher is 
 held preferable to a Verbalift, or Obfervations on Sub- 
 ftances better than Obfervations on Words. 
 
 Her uncommon Character I confefs, made me once 
 turn Fribbiggheh Rival and pay her a Vifit under the 
 Pretence of Courtfhip. I am juftly fenfible how much 
 I expofe my felf, in putting my felf in competition 
 with fuch a contemptible Animal as a Beaux, who has 
 nothing but his being a Beaux to recommend him: 
 But why may I not be allow'd this Liberty, as well as 
 fome of my Countrymen are allow'd to go to Bawdy- Hon- 
 fes for Speculation. W 7 hen I came to her Apartment I 
 was introdue'd by her Waiting-Maid with much Cere- 
 mony, and defir'd to fit down direftly oppofite to 
 her, I fuppofe that (he might view me the Better. 
 But I cou'd foon perceive that (he did not like me, be- 
 caufe I made no gaudy Appearance : And I believe (he 
 took me for a Fool, for (he ask'd me half a Dozen 
 impertinent Queftions before I got leave to make her 
 an Anfwer to one of them j among the reft, (he ask'd 
 me what a Clock it was, tho' there was a Clock in the 
 
 Room i 
 
( *7) 
 
 Room ; and fhe was feated more conveniently for 
 .looking at it than I was; fhe ask' d me befides, whether 
 I had heard of a Duel that was fought the Night be- 
 fore, which unlefs I had been entirely Deaf I cou'd 
 not but have heard of as I pafs'd along the Streets, 
 for the News-boys were very loud in proclaiming it. 
 I told her Ladyfhip, that from the Moment that I 
 had feen her, I became incapable of obferving the 
 moft common Occurrences, being wholly taken up in 
 contemplating her Charms. Here fhe began to look 
 at me with a more pleafant Countenance, which en- 
 courag'd me to proceed. 
 
 I called to mind all the eloquent Jargon I had ever 
 heard or cou'd think of, and refolv'd that Nonfenfe 
 fhou'dpafs forWitwithmy now adorable Blmvijl ; fince 
 I was perfuaded that her Understanding was much a- 
 bout the fame Size with that of moft of our IrtJJ? 
 Ladies, who never begin to believe that a Man loves 
 them till he has told them fuch Lies as would ftartle any 
 but themfelves. I fwore that my Body was like a Bun- 
 dle of Matches, which was fir'd by the Lightning of 
 her Eyes, andearneftly pray'd that a gentle Breeze of 
 her Pity wou'd vouchfafe to cool my glowing Heart. 
 Thou Primrofeo? Perfection, faid I, were a Demicu!- 
 verin let off within my Belly, it cou'd not difcompofe 
 my Frame, more than a Frown from thine awful Brow. 
 Alas ! How often have I ftrove to rid my felf of this 
 hated load of Life, fince the Magnet of my Soul holds 
 its repelling end to me; but the cruel Fates deny me 
 the Happinefs of dying yet, especially in the Manner 
 I wou'd chufe ; I thought to (leal from this unplea- 
 fant World : For what can delight me, when I do 
 not enjoy what I moft ardently wifh for ? I thought 
 to entomb my felf in the River, and afTift the God of it 
 with my Tears to fupply his Urn. But my Flame was 
 fo great, fo far beyond what can be imagin'd, that I 
 made a greater Noife in my plunge, than the Sun does 
 when he dips in the Straights of Gibraltar. The 
 ajfrighted Fifhes roar'd, the God frown'd, and the 
 
 D 3 Nymphs 
 
( =8 ) 
 
 Nymphs threw me on the Bank again. I next at- 
 tempted to fwing by the Neck in my Garters ; Fool 
 that I was, to think that they'cou'd withftand the Fire 
 that rag'd within me ! They were foon confum'd, and 
 I left almofl: in defpair ol dying ; never were you, my 
 Fairer than the faireft, more griev'd for the breaking 
 of a Necklace : Yet I had a Sword, and refolv'd to 
 make a new PafTage for my Sighs, and wound this 
 Heart of mine, which gave me filch Uneafincfs ; but 
 here my Attempt was vain, my Blade was melted, and 
 my Fingers burn'd, for the Heat of my Bread exceed- 
 ed that of the Sun-beams coUccled in many Glaffes. 
 How great was then the Anguifh of my Mind ? I 
 rav'd and fann'd my Flame by repeating Blmtujl. Then 
 my good Genius appear'd, and bid me be comforted, 
 and laid, your Goddefs's Heart is not made of Steel ; 
 fhe will confider your deplorable Condition, and as you 
 deferve, reward you. 'Twas this embolden'd me to 
 approach you, and made me hope, fince I knew my 
 own Sincerity, that I fhou'd not be defpis'd. 
 
 The Effedfc which this rapturous Bombaft had on 
 her, is almoft incredible ; Hie prefented her Hand to 
 me to kifs, and told me that me pitied my Sufferings ; 
 but I miftook her Meaning, and grafping it with one 
 of my Hands, made bold to kifs her Lips ; (he feem'd 
 a little angry at my Rudenefs, but was pacify'd by my 
 fwearing that her Breath was fweeter than the Breeze 
 which wantons in Amaranthine Bowers. I then re- 
 peated my CarefTes with little difficulty, and perfuaded 
 her that I was all over Love, and fhe all over Charms. 
 But Fribliggbe^s unlucky Stars fent him into the Room 
 juft as we were in a ftri«ft Embrace. It feems that fhe 
 had lately permitted him to enter her Apartment with- 
 out fending firft to know whether fhe was pleas'd to 
 be within or not ; and this which he took for a Mark 
 of her fpecial Favour, prov'd his Difgrace. After he 
 came into the Room, he ft ood for fome time without 
 Speech or Motion, and like a religious Man that is 
 loth to believe his Eyes, often rubb'd them. Blmmfl, 
 
 who 
 
( '9 ) 
 
 who was ready enough to find Faults where there were 
 none, was a little confounded at the Sight of Friblig- 
 gbe ; but iince I had fworn that I lov'd and fuffer'd ib 
 much, (he thought I abiblv'd her from her Fromifes, 
 and that Fribbiggkc was to be difcarded: Shetook the 
 Hint from his rubbing his Eyes, and told him that fhe 
 believ'd he was not right awake ^ or elfehe wou'd not 
 have the Impudence to come into the Chamber of 
 one that fhou'd command his Efteem, without firfb 
 knowing whether his Vifit was ieafonable; and told him 
 that for that Time me wou'd pardon him j but begg'd 
 of him to be more difcreet for the future. As great a 
 Fool as he was, he cou'd not but perceive that he was 
 ill us'd, and tho' he did not love her, yet his little 
 Soul cou'd not bear to fee her in the Arms of another : 
 What, Madam, faid he, is it thus that I am flighted ? 
 Are all my Sufferings and your Vows fo foon forgot- 
 ten ? And have I {een you in the Arms of one whom 
 of all living I fhou'd never fufpecl for a Rival? But 
 Madam you are fond of Rarities, or elk you cou'd ne- 
 ver leave meforfuch a Perfon. Here I was going to 
 reply, but me prevented me, and told him that I was 
 more than I appear'd to be ; but for fome Reafons which 
 he fhou'd never be acquainted with, had chofen that 
 Drefs, and defir'd him to be cautious in fpeaking of me. 
 Madam, faid he,lfhall never think well of any that re- 
 gard you, fmce you have blam'd me for what I have 
 done with your Permiflion. Then turning to me, he 
 told me that he wou'd remember me, and would be 
 glad to fee me in the Park at fix that Evening. I 
 affur'd him, that I fhou'd be very forry that he fhou'd 
 forget me, and as he was going down Stairs, lent 
 him two or three Kicks for a Token to put him in 
 mind of me. He was fo much enrag'd, that he feem'd 
 not to take notice of them, but walk'd off in fome 
 Diibrder. 
 
 CHAP. 
 
( i° ) 
 
 CHAP. V. 
 
 Containing an Account ofBlmmffs inviting him to drink 
 Tea with her. A pbilofopbical Account of the Effects 
 of Tea, with its firft Rife. His Departure from 
 Blmmfl; ani his Ufage towards Fribbigghe. 
 
 AS foon as he was gone, Blmmfl invited me to 
 drink Tea with her, over which (he oblig'd me 
 in taking poor Fribbigghe to pieces. Then fhe gave 
 me the private Characters of all the beautiful Ladies 
 in Town ; but amongft them all, there was not one 
 that got a good Word ; and as the I'ea Leases began 
 to fpread themfelves, fo (he began to difcover her 
 Mind, 'till I became acquainted with all her Secrets. 
 1 have fince enquir'd of many ingenious Gentlemen, to 
 find out the true Caufe of Ladies venting their Scan- 
 dal over 'Tea , fome of whofe Opinions, with their 
 leave, I fhall fet down. 
 
 One told me that Sympathy was the Caufe of it ; 
 for, faid he, we may obferve that the hot Water has 
 the fame Effect upon the Tea Leaves, that it has up- 
 on a Lady, for they both difcover what was not feen 
 before, upon taking it ; whence he inferr'd, that a 
 Woman's Soul was moft like a Tea Leaf, of any 
 thing it cou'd be compar'd to, becaufe it is fo eafily 
 oblig'd to difcover its Secrets. But I objected that 
 Sympathy was exploded, and 'till he cou'd prove that 
 the Soul of a Woman is furrounded by the hot Water 
 upon drinking it, as Tea Leaves are in the Pot, his 
 Similitude would not be juft ; which if he undertook 
 to prove, he muft inevitably place a Lady's Soul in 
 fome part of her Belly y but I advis'd him to take care 
 how he aflerted fuch a thing, fince thereby he might 
 probably incur the Difpleafure of the whole Sex. 
 
 Another faid, fince by the help of Microfcopes, we 
 have difcover'd certain Eminences upon Leaves, and 
 certain Animals creeping, nay, running among them, 
 
 as 
 
( V ) 
 
 as wild Beafts do in a Forreft, it is probable that thofe 
 Animals, upon drying of a I'ea Leaf, are dried too, 
 and become hard, and are feemingly dead, as Swal- 
 lows are in Winter ; but when they are put into hot 
 Water, they come to life again, and being taken along 
 with the Water into a Lady's Mouth, they irritate the 
 Nerves of her Tongue, and caufe fome Uneafmefs in 
 that Member, which makes it then fo apt to defame 
 others. He then defir'd me to confider the Finenefs 
 of a Lady's Body, and how apt we are to give ill Lan- 
 guage when we are vex'd. He added, that the Water 
 might fometimes be fo hot, as to kill thofe Animals, 
 which he took for a Reafon why fometimes a Pot of 
 itea might be drank without Scandal. A third was of 
 Opinion, that it was the Voices of thofe Animals be- 
 ing fcalded with the hot Water, which we took for 
 Scandal, tho' it was not, and defir'd me to confider 
 how apt we were to be deceiv'd in many things, and 
 why not in this ? I muft confefs, that thefe Gentle- 
 men have learnedly accounted for it, but not to my 
 Satisfaction : For granting that there were fuch Ani- 
 mals upon Leaves, why do not thofe upon tobacco pro- 
 duce the fame Effecl, or why may we not hear thofe 
 upon I'ea Leaves roar before they get into a Lady's 
 Mouth ? Surely none wou'd be fo unmannerly as to 
 blame a Lady for the crying of an Animal fo hard to 
 be feen. 
 
 But the beft Account I cou'd meet with, is founded 
 upon the Relation which is given by the Natives of 
 theCountry where 'Tea grows ; they fay that this Plant 
 was at firft held in no more Efteem than common Bu- 
 fhes, and that the Leaves of it were never us'd, if they 
 were us'd at ail, but as Saw-duft or Chaff, 'till it hap- 
 pen'd once that a certain Animal among them, remark- 
 able for its Pride and Ill-nature, came to fhelter it felf 
 from the Heat of the Sun under this Shrub (they call 
 the Animal Namow) where, as it lay a long Time fe- 
 cur'd from the Heat, it had an Inclination to put forth 
 its Excrement ; or to exprefs the Matter more cleanly, 
 
 to 
 
( 3 J ) 
 
 to untrufs a Point, and thought no place fo proper for 
 it -as that where it had been lefted. (This ismeution'd 
 as an Inftance of that Creature's Ingratitude to its 
 Benefactor. ) In ihort, it left fomething at the Root 
 of the Tree which did not fraell very pleaiant in the 
 Nofes of them who liv'd at that time. It had a ftrange 
 liffect alfo upon the Tree, for it made it retain its 
 Smell, and inftead of not affecting Peoples Nofes at 
 all, affect them in a very difagreeable manner ; fo that 
 they made as little ufe of it for a long time after, as 
 they do of Hemlock in Ireland: But fucceeding Ages 
 differ'd very much from their Forefathers ; for it hap- 
 pen'd that a Lady, famous for her great Knowledge 
 of the Virtues of Plants, (I am heartily forry I cannot 
 remember her Name) took fome of the Leaves of this 
 Tree, and boil'dthem to find out their Qualities, and 
 after much Study affur'd her female Friends, that thofe 
 Leaves were very wholefome, and that Water in which 
 they were boil'd, contributed much to the dilating the 
 urinary Paffages, and by that means wou'd keep them 
 from the Stone or Gravel ; but the difagreeable Smell 
 and Tafte of 'em might be corrected by Ingredients fit 
 to pleafe thofe Senfes which the L Tea Leaves offended. 
 Her Advice was follow'd by thofe fhe had any Influ- 
 ence on, and they chok tfea Water for their Breakfaft ; 
 but they took fo much of it at feveral times in the Day, 
 and put fo much Sugar in it, that they began to be trou- 
 bled with Difeafes which they might have been free 
 from, had they never changed their Diet. But the Lady 
 who recommended it to 'em, cou'd not bear that her 
 Counfel fhou'd be neglected, and at laft perfuaded 'em 
 that it had no difagreeable Tafte or Smell at all, and 
 ought to be taken with but little or no Sugar, if they in- 
 tended it fhou'd do 'em any good. They were eafily in- 
 clin'd to believe her, fince they were alreadj great Ad- 
 mirers of feveral (linking Things, and valu'd 'cm for 
 ftinking, fuch as Cream-Cheefes, Venifon, &c. fo 
 that in a fhort Time from a few, the Folly became 
 epidemical. 
 
 This 
 
[ 5? 3 
 
 This is an Account of the fir ft life of Tea, as it is now 
 among the Ladies ; but to give a Reafon for the 
 Scandal which attends it, muft be the next Thing I 
 ihall mention. 
 
 I have already obferv'd to you, that the Animal 
 which gave this Tree its Qualities, was proud and 
 ill-natur'd • and it is very probable, if it could fpeak, 
 that Defamation would attend fuch an evil Difpo- 
 fition • and fince neither the Animal nor the Tree 
 were endued with Speech, and that the Seeds of De- 
 famation, as we may reafonably fuppofe,weretran- 
 fmitted from the one to the other, inafmuch as a 
 bad Temper often depends chiefly on the Habit of 
 the Body, it follows, that a Lady mult fpeak for 
 both, fince me can do it, left Nature might befaid 
 to intend an Effect, and not produce it, when and 
 where fhe may. The only Objection of any. Mo- 
 ment which this Account is liable to, is, that it is 
 very Arrange that fo remote a Caufe mould operate 
 fb ftrongly and univerfally upon Ladies, and not 
 upon Men, who have not yet degenerated into 
 MifTes. But to this I anfwer, that the Delicacy of 
 a Lady's Conftitution renders her more capable of 
 being influenced by a weak and remote Caufe than 
 a Man is ; for finely there is a Difference between 
 the Dirt which they are made of, and the Dirt of 
 which the reft of Mankind is form'd, or elfe they 
 would never take fo much upon them. But to 
 return whence I digrefs'd : I fat with Blmmfl till it 
 was near the Time that I was to meet Fribbigghe 
 at. I was very glad that I was fb near my Deli- 
 very h for I confefs that I was heartily tir'd with 
 playing the Hypocrite fo long. I left her, feeminglv, 
 as much concerned as me was, and walk'd towards the 
 Park, reflecting on her Arrange Behaviour and mon- 
 ftrous Credulity: I was furpriz'd to think that I had 
 gain'd her Affections fb much at the firft Vift, wheii 
 others had (pent fome Lunar Years in their Ad- 
 
 E urefles 
 
C 54 ] 
 dreffes to her, without being favour'd with anything 
 that might give them Hopes. I could attribute my 
 good S'uccefs to nothing, but that I had hit the cri- 
 Irical Minute, fomuch talk'd of in belUnd^ when a 
 Woman gives her Content. 
 
 I was no fooncr come to the Park, but two or 
 three of my Acquaintance, told me that F.ibbigghe 
 had been there a long Time before, expecting me 
 to fight him, and was refolv'd to poll: me for a Cow- 
 ard for not meeting him. I aflur'd them I was come 
 fboner than the appointed Time, and begg'd of 'em 
 to aifift me in looking for him, that I might ufe 
 him as he deferv'd. After we had fpent fo,me Time 
 in looking for him- we were informal that he went 
 with lome Ladies to walk in a Green adjacent to 
 the Town ^ thither we wei*t and found him -, but I 
 am confident that he would have given any Confi- 
 deration to be remov'd fome Miles from me when 
 he law me. He feem'd very earneft in Difcourfe 
 with the Ladies, and wou'd fain not take Notice of 
 me; but I call'd to him fo loud, that he could not 
 but hear me : Upon which he turn'd, and trembled. 
 I call'd him afide h though I muft own it was a lit- 
 tle rude to take him from the Ladies ■ yet I con- 
 ceived fo ill of them all, upon Blmm/l's Account, that 
 I have never fince paid them fo much Refpeci as I 
 did before. Upon telling him of lome Truths, for 
 which he faw I had Vouchers, he began to put them 
 off with a Joke, and told me he would always es- 
 teem me as a particular Friend, fince, he aflur'd me, 
 that I had fbmething very engaging in my Counte- 
 nance. The Offer he made me of his Friend fhip 
 was as provoking to me, as any Thing he could have 
 raid to me. I told him that I could not be by any 
 Means perfuaded to keep fuch a Fool, as I was 
 fure he way, Company, and that I was refolv'd to 
 make him as ridiculous as I could. I then pull'd 
 off his Wig, and ilipok all the Powder in it upon his 
 
 Cloaths, 
 
[ 3? ] 
 
 Cloaths, whilfr. he was asking me all the while, whe- 
 ther that was Ufage for a Gentleman, and was tel- 
 ling thofe that flock'd about us how much his Cloaths, 
 which I had lpoiFd, had coft him. I confefs'd that 
 the Ufage I had given him was not at all fit for a 
 Gentleman ; and fince he was fb much troubled 
 about his Cloaths, I would vex him the more. I 
 took him accordingly, and led him to a Ditch full 
 of Water, where I tofs'd him in as gently as pof- 
 fible. There Ileffhim to be laugh'd at by the Crowd, 
 which was very merry at his Expence. 
 
 CHAP. VI. 
 
 Containing an Jlcccunt of his Ohfervations on 
 the Qi/ioms, Manners, and Religion of the 
 Teople of the Mqon. 
 
 TH £ next Day I intended to fpend in obfer- 
 ving the Cuftoms, Manners, and Religion of 
 the People : I had chofcn that Day becaufe it was 
 the Anniverfary of the King's Nativity. Tckbrff 
 had promifed to accompany me, and lay the Truth 
 before me, where I fhould happen to doubt, or mif- 
 underftand any Thing we mould fee : Accordingly 
 we fet out about Ten in the Morning, intending to 
 go to a Place of Worfhip not very far diflant from 
 my Lodging : We were no fooner got into the Street, 
 than I heard the moft confus'd and deafening Noife 
 that ever reach'd my Ears. It conftantly increas'd, 
 and I thought fomctimes that I heard articulate 
 Sounds : I could not but exprefs my Fear and Amaze- 
 ment h for I believ'd it fupernatural, and that for 
 the Sins of the People God had furfer'd them to be 
 plagu'd in that Manner. But upon Enquiry, I found 
 that it was by this Means they dcfign'd to per- 
 fuade their Monarch that they were joyful for his 
 
 E 2 Nativity, 
 
[ l* ] 
 
 Nativity, and well affc&ed to his Government ; yet 
 I could not imagine by what it was caus'd-, for it 
 was more loud and fhrill than any Sound of Bells 
 I had ever heard in Ireland. I was inform'd that 
 they had no Bells in the Moon •, and to fupply that 
 Defect, they, upon Days of Rejoicing, hir'd cer- 
 tain Perfons, fit for nothing elfe, to foment Quar- 
 rels between Women, fo as that they might fcold : 
 Thofe Women were immediately carried to the Tops 
 of Steeples, where they were furnifh'd with Liquors 
 to en flame their Rage, and had thofe Fomenters 
 (landing by them, to take care that each mould re- 
 turn the ill Language fhe receiv'd, tho 5 they were 
 ready enough of themfelves to continue tVieir loud 
 Reproaches ; and that thole fcolding "Women were 
 what made fuch an horrible Din. Tikbrff further 
 told me, that this Cuftom of putting the fcolding 
 Women upon the Tops of Steeples, had made them, 
 for iome Years, paft keep their Tongues in more 
 Subjection than they were wont to do, which ob- 
 lig'd 'em to hire Perfons to make them alarm the 
 Kingdom. I could not but wifh that all the loud- 
 tongu'd Women in mine own Country were trans- 
 ported to the Moon, till I confider'd, that by that 
 Means poor Ireland would find a great Scarcity of 
 Wives, and perhaps in one Age be wholly uninha- 
 bited. I have fince thought that Phiiofophers upon 
 Earth might miltake this Nolle in the Moon for Mu- 
 fick, which made them firft talk of the Mufick of 
 the Spheres. 
 
 Before I had Time to reflect upon what I had 
 heard, we met with a Company of Beafts, among 
 whom we could not difcover the lead: Remains of 
 Humanity, except in one, who had preferv'd his 
 Nofe h but I believe that was owing to his not taking 
 Snuff; for I did not fee him take a Pinch during 
 our Conference, as the reft did. Thofe were Per- 
 fons, who to fhew how ready they were to ferve 
 
 their 
 
C 37] 
 their King, had made themfelves fo drunk, that 
 they forgot how to help themfelves- theyraiFd at 
 all that did not ftagger, and pronounced them di£ 
 affected Perfons. A Swine that happen'd to be next 
 to me, had like to have thrown me down with a 
 Reel which he took, tho' I happily kept myfelf from 
 falling: The reft feeing me run from him, thought 
 I had afTaulted him, and fent an Kero to beat me 
 for it. He came up to me, and aim'd a furious Blow 
 at my Cerebellum 3 I avoided it, and he fell into the 
 Gutter -j the Company lhouted as if they had ob- 
 tain'd a Viclory, while we made what Hafte we 
 could from them. How much better, faid Tckbrff, 
 when wJ were got from them, would thofe Perfons 
 prove their Loyalty, if upon this Day each would 
 apply with remarkable Induftry to that which might 
 make him ufcful in the Commonwealth, rather 
 than, by wifhing Health to our Sovereign, impair 
 their own, and by utterly extinguishing their lit- 
 tle Reafon, if they had any left, render themfelves 
 fo contemptible to all that are not in the fame 
 Condition? 
 
 He had juft ended this Reflection when we en- 
 ter'd the Temple. I had not, indeed, as j'etenquir'd 
 into the Belief of the Congregation I was now going 
 to join with, which may feem a little ftrange atfirit 
 Sight to any one who confiders what a vaft Number 
 of Books a Man of my Parts might have devour'd 
 iince my Arrival ^ fome of which ought to have 
 taught me this Leifon, that when a Man willingly 
 does he knows not what, he may be guilty of he 
 knows not what : But this could notpoiiibly be my 
 Ca(e ; for I told you before, and you muhVtake my 
 Word for it, that I was a perfect Matter of their 
 Language 3 fo that I could not be guilty of I know 
 not what, in affenting to what I "did "not under- 
 ftand- beiides,I was refblvM for the prelent barely 
 to obferve what I faw, without any more Emotion 
 
 of 
 
[ 5« ] 
 
 cf Mind than if it had been my Fate to be a Sta- 
 tue for the Ornament of that Place. But here I 
 will give the Reader fome Account of the Belief 
 of this Sect, which v/as the moft numerous of any 
 111 the Moon. They were the Followers of the Py- 
 thagorean Doctrine ; and whatever they practis'd, they 
 confidently affirmed that they had his cxprefs 
 Command for, or elfe they made him to mean 
 Things as they ferv'd their Interefts, by giving 
 his Thoughts a new Turn, and by making their 
 Comments upon his Writings as authentick as 
 what they were defign'd to explain. Here it may 
 be ask'd, how Pythagoras ever got into the Moon? 
 But I think it may be ask'd with greater ^Propri- 
 ety, how he ever got to tfre Earth ? For by exa- 
 mining the Records in both Places, it will be 
 found, that the firft Body which he animated was 
 in the Moon, and was the Body of a Corn-Cutter •, 
 He lived very poorly in that State for many 
 Years, till he was fet at Liberty by a Difeafe con- 
 tracted by fmellingftinking Toes. The next which 
 he enter'd into was that of a Citizen, but in a fhort 
 Time was fcolded out of that Tenement by his 
 "Wife. He ferv'd an Apprenticefhip of five Years 
 immediately after in the Shape of a Coach-Horfe 
 to a Lady of Quality, who kill'd him with going 
 3,-Vifiting. He was then transform'd into a Spi- 
 der, a Bailiff, an Whore, an Emperor, an Hang- 
 man, a Greyhound, a Kitchen- Wench, a Lawyer, 
 3 Fo.Xj and a Mad-Man, In this laft Station he 
 fct up for a Philofbpher, and call'd himfelf Pytha- 
 gora>. He was not always fiark mad, but had his 
 Intervals of right Reafbn •, in which he gain'd fo 
 much upon his Hearers, that at length they took 
 his mad Fits for nothing but furpriiing Flights of 
 his Imagination. He gain'd fb much Credit in a 
 little Time, that the greateft Abfurdities confirm- 
 bj an Ipfe Dixit, were thought to be fuffici- 
 
 ently 
 
C 39 ] 
 ently demonftrated. He us'd to harangue the Peo- 
 ple upon the Fallibility of their Senfes ; and by 
 deceiving them fometimes with Legerdemain, in 
 which he was very expert, brought them to believe, 
 that their Senfes, being rightly difpos'd, the Object 
 at a proper Diftance, and in a proper Medium, 
 cou'd, and often did deceive 'em. So that if a 
 Man caught him in Bed with his Wife, he wou'd 
 before he got up deny the Fact, and then learn- 
 edly prove, that the Cuckold was either afleep, or 
 fbmewhere elfe at the fame Time • or elfe that 
 himfelf was not Pythagoras, but the Man of the 
 Houfe -, ir elfe, if he was hard put to it, that he 
 was both. Shou'd the poor Man, notwithstanding 
 all this, ftill believe his Senfes, and that he was 
 a Cuckold, he would indict him for what he had 
 faid -, and in cafe of ObfHiiacy (fo great was his 
 Power) put him to Death. He gave out that he 
 had a Golden Thigh, which the common People 
 underftood literally ^ but the wifer Sort have found 
 out, that he meant only that one of his Breeches 
 Pockets was conftantiy full of that Metal ^ whence 
 his Followers, in Imitation of him, fpare no Pains 
 to get it ^ and fome have been io cunning as to 
 pretend they never ufe any Money, that they 
 might the more eafily keep all they got, and be 
 furnifh'd with NecefTaries gratis. He order'd his 
 Followers to abftain from all kind of Flefh, and 
 from Beans : AVhat his Defign eou'd be in the firft, 
 is thought to be only a Pretext to his Knavery, 
 to deceive the People, by the feeming Aufterity 
 of his Morals. But his Followers could not play 
 the Hypocrites fo well, they could not abftain 
 from Flefh altogether, wherefore they allow'd them- 
 felves the Ufe of it, except at fome certain Times, 
 when they thought Fifh might be acceptable thro' 
 Variety. Some think that by the "Word Flejb 
 he undcrftands all Animal') ; but this they reject, 
 
 and 
 
[ 40 ] 
 
 and for alleafon, refer you to their own Comment 
 upon that Pillage, where they have rendered it 
 Land Animals. Pythagoras himfelf has given us a 
 Reafbn for abfraining from Beans, viz,, becaufe 
 they are like Mens Tefticles. He did not know 
 but that a Man's Tefricle had as good a Relifh as 
 a Bean, which if it fhouldever be found out, might 
 occasion the Caftration of iome of his Followers, 
 and by that means render them incapable of 
 Pleafures which it was his Defire they mould enjoy, 
 and he forefaw they wou'd be much addicted to. 
 By thefe few Inftances, the reft may be guefs'd 
 at, and known, as well as Hercules by his Foot. 
 
 Pythagoras had certainly an odd Way of 'thinking • 
 but his Succeflors have found out Things that he ne- 
 ver dream'd of.He taught.that when theSoul leaves a 
 Body, it becomes happy or miferable, according to 
 the Circumftances of the next Body that receives it : 
 But his SuccefTors teach, that it is in their Power to 
 continue their Kindnefs to their Friends, after 
 their Separation from a Body ^ and to that End, 
 have inverted certain Perfons with Power to know 
 what becomes of others, and make their Sufferings 
 have a fpeedy End- for they hold for their own 
 Intereft, that their Friends are miferable after 
 leaving the Body they were lair, in, and will con- 
 tinue to be £q till they ailift them. This plain- 
 ly fhews, that Pythagoras was better natur'd than 
 his Succeflors, who make their Gain of Peoples 
 Mifery, which, tho' imaginary, wou'd become real, 
 were it in their Power to make it fo. He indeed 
 attributed much to Numbers, and was a great Pro- 
 ficient in the Mathematicks ^ but they fupport a bad 
 Caufe by the Numbers that adhere to it : Whence 
 it will follow, that he that cheats half the World, 
 is an honefter Man than him that cheats only a 
 fourth Part. 
 
 They 
 
[ 4i ] 
 
 They are great Admirers of right Angles, ana 
 wou'd fain make it appear, that right Angles a- 
 lone have more Efficacy than any other Figures 
 that can be imagin'd h yet they cannot prove that 
 Pythagoras was of that Opinion. In fine, they are 
 fo much taken up in admiring their Inftructor, that 
 they forget his Inftruclions. He oiders them to 
 worfhip the Gods ^ but they will worfhip him, or 
 any Body elfe, as they pleafe h nay, fometimes 3^011 
 may find them in fo goo 1 an Humour, that they 
 won't icruple to pay Divine Worfhip to a rotten 
 Poft. 
 
 Pythag 'eras liv'd in great Repute for a long 
 Time b and having fufficiently eftablifh'd his Do- 
 clnne, he fhifted his Dwelling, and became a Foot- 
 Soldier h but was oblig'd to forfake that Body by 
 drinking Brandy : He had no fooncr left the Ar- 
 my, but he was oblig'd to animate an Ctyiter, where 
 he was allow'd the Liberty of Thinking, and com- 
 pos'd his Jurea Carmina. He was foon taken up, 
 and devour'd by a young Lady, who immediately 
 became io Learned, that there was no enduring 
 her. Many purftie him thro' feveral other Bodies 5 
 but their Accounts have fo little to fupport 'em, that 
 I rather choie to omit them, than let down any 
 Thing but that which is founded upon the bell 
 Authority. 
 
 I fhou'd now proceed to what I fd\v in the 
 Temple-, but as all what I faw was myiterious, 
 and Myfteries are not to be divulg'd, I mnft be ex- 
 cus'd for not difcovering what I faw. When the 
 Crowd was gone, Tckrff took me to fee the Rari- 
 ties of the Place, and prevail'd upon one that be- 
 long'd to it, to fiuw them to us. We were led 
 into a largo Room full of Wonders ^ to recount all 
 which, would fill a large Volume, yet I willfet down 
 a few which I rememoer above others. The fir ft 
 Thing he fhewed us was a Frying-Pan with nut 
 
 F one 
 
[ 4* ] 
 
 one Handle, which was all theHouihold Goods of 
 a certain famous Pythagorean. The next was a 
 large Cup with two Handles ^ which was look'd 
 upon as preternatural in the Age it was made, 
 with an Infcription to this Purpofe, He is a Beaji 
 that drinks more at one Time, than he can lift with one 
 Hand. A fmall Bundle of Birch, confiding of eight 
 Twigs and an half, with which a greatMan was wont 
 to keep down proud Flefh. A Gallipot, in which 
 was to be feen fome of the Brimftone which Py- 
 thagoras himfelf us'd to cure himfelf of the Itch : 
 This is Ihewn to prove the Antiquity of that Di- 
 ftemper in the Northern Parts, where ^Pythagoras 
 for a while refided. A three-legged Stool ^ which 
 retain'd fo much Virtue from the Perfon who us'd 
 to fit upon it, that it wou'd cure Jealoufy : The 
 jealous Perfon was to fit upon this Stool three 
 Hours, during which Time he was to believe 
 firmly that his Confort was virtuous. An Horn, to 
 drink out of, which would prevent Cuckoldom. 
 A Stone which had been laugh'd at for fpeaking 
 Nonfenfe, and had been ever fince filent. Theie 
 are a few of the furpriling Things which I faw. 
 When we had view'd them all, and were going a- 
 way, the good Man who had fhew'd them to us, 
 took as much Water out of a Bafon, that flood by 
 the Door, a? he ccu'd hold in his Hand, and threw 
 it in my J ace. I apprehended that it was be- 
 caufe I had given him nothing ^ and tho' I was 
 angry, I gave him fomething for his Trouble, and 
 and took my Leave of thofe renowned Pythagore- 
 ans. There were mairy other Sects of Philofophers 
 in the Town, who all hated the Pythagoreans, as 
 being notorious Cheats 5 tho' the Pythagoreans weie 
 even with them, by cutting their Threats, as often 
 as they found Opportunity, and look'd upon mur- 
 dering thofe that difter'd with them in Opinion, 
 as a meritorious Action. Tckkff defir'd me to go 
 
 and 
 
C 43 ] 
 
 and fee a Fountain which was in the Midftof the 
 Town, and which the Pythagoreans had often ftrove 
 in vain to flop up. It was remarkable for the Pu- 
 rity of its Water, and for not fuffering any Dirt 
 to fettle in it. The more the Pythagorean* labour'd 
 to fupprefs it, the more it over-flow'd, and grew 
 daily more famous, to their Shame and ConfuJion. 
 The Reafon of their Hatred to it was, that it had 
 fb much Virtue, that an hearty Draught of its 
 "Water wou'd make the ableft Pythagorean renounce 
 his Principles, if Obftinacy and Prejudice had not 
 ufurp'd the Seat of his Underftanding. It had re- 
 ftor'd many to their Human Shape, and prov'd an 
 infallible Remedy again the Griping of the Guts •, 
 where the Pain was lo great, that it made People 
 look as if they were pofTefs'd. It was under the 
 King's immediate Care, who, upon his Coronation, 
 had oblig'd himfelf to protect it • and well did it 
 deferve to have a Royal Patron, iince it was the 
 greater!: Bleiling that ever had been beftow'd up- 
 on the Kingdom. It brought Peace and Plenty 
 wherefoever it flow'd, and guided the People in 
 the true Road of Happinefs. It had a Guard con- 
 tinually furrounding it, which was made firm to 
 its Interefts by drinking of it. Many times did 
 the Pythagoreans hazard their Lives and Fortunes 
 to a Man, in Hopes of deftroying it, and often 
 caus'd fuch an Eftuiion of Blood upon its Banks, 
 that it chang'd its Colour for a Time, tho' it ne- 
 ver cou'd be corrupted. The Bodies of thofethat 
 died in the Defence of it, were gently carried down 
 the Stream that iflued from it into a remote Coiin- 
 try, where they receiv'd new Life, and enjoy'd 
 endlefs Happinefs. 
 
 Many had deiir'd to draw off its Water into 
 
 their own Grounds \ and to that End, had fecretly 
 
 dug PafTages under the Earth, thinking that the 
 
 Fountain wou'd pour its Water into them, and by that 
 
 F 2 Means 
 
[ 44 ] 
 Means they would become fole Matters of all its 
 Benefits : But they were all difappointed •, for in 
 their Way they conftantly met with fome Fountain, 
 which they miftook for the true one ^ and were fb 
 blinded with their own Conceits, that they could 
 not fee that they had not come near the Fountain 
 which they CDveted, and that the Water which they 
 had got, had none of thofe good Qualities which 
 made the other fo deftrable. Had they been con- 
 tent to enjoy its Benefits in common, it was fuffi- 
 cient to fatisfy them all, let them be never fo gree- 
 dy ; Yet each obftinately maintain'd that he was in 
 the right ^ and to gain the Fountain he had found, 
 the more Repute, ci'yd down the true one. I will 
 not take upon me to fay that all the Philofbphers 
 which we had upon Earth were firft in the Moon, 
 tho 5 I have been often tempted to believe it, from 
 the Conformity of the Opinion of feveral earthly 
 Philoiophers to thofe religious Sects in the Moon ; for 
 IoMerv'd that there were Platonicks and Cyuicks there : 
 The former affected magical Tranfports, and pretend- 
 ed that they kept a Courier conftantly to bring them 
 Intelligence from Heaven : The latter differ'd from 
 them in this, that they atlrnir'd an extraordinary 
 Simplicity in their Garb, which, tho' different from 
 that of other People, was as fafhionable as theirs; 
 fince it is Cuftom alone that alters Fafhions, and 
 they had nearly ltuck to one Fafhion for many 
 Years. They were the moft unmannerly People 
 in the Moon, and were fo politick, that rhey had 
 perfuaded many that they were in earneft, and 
 that to be virtuous was to be unmannerly, and that 
 we cannot be brought to Heaven with an Equi- 
 page. It is furprizing to reflecl: upon what a Mul- 
 titude is milled, when all are allow'd to approach 
 the facred Fountain, and Perfons appointed to take 
 Care that thofe who come to drink obferve Rules 
 prefcrib'd to them. 
 
 CHA P. 
 
[ AS ] 
 
 CHAP. VII. 
 
 Containing an Account of his going to a Coflfee- 
 Houfe \ what he obferv'd and heard there. 
 His ^Defign to go to a Play-Houfe. An Ac- 
 count of what Tckbrff faid to him before 
 they went thither ; what he obferv'd and 
 heard there ; with a natural Account for a 
 Mans becoming a Critick. 
 
 r "PHE next Thing I went to fee was a Coffee- 
 JL Houfe, where we intended to trifle away our 
 Time till the Play-Houfe was open : We went thi- 
 ther, and took our Seats at a long Table, with a 
 Defign to fettle the Affairs of the Nation ; for I 
 muft confefs, that upon my entering the Coffee- 
 Houfe I found myfelf infenfibly turn Politician, and 
 become more concern'd to find out the Defigns of 
 One a thouland Miles diftant from me, than I was 
 about returning to mine own Country, tho' I am 
 fure that my own Affairs were but in a very bad 
 State when I left it. 
 
 I had juft lighted my Pipe, and read a Paragraph 
 of a Paper, in queft of Truth, where I was certain 
 that there was an hundred to one againffc my find- 
 ing it, when my Thoughts were turned another Way 
 by a Company that feated themfelves next to us. 
 But before I inform againft them, I will fet down 
 the Subftance of a Fragment which I met with in 
 Tckhff's Library. It was a philofophical Account of 
 Mens meddling with Affairs that do not belong to 
 them, when they enter G>ffec-Hcufe<. It firftprov'd 
 that Coffee was of an hot and dry Nature, and took 
 it for granted that it was much us'd in Hcufes that 
 
 took 
 
[ 46 ] 
 
 took their Names from it • as likewife that the finer 
 Parts of the Coffee were floating in the Air which 
 fill'd thole Houfes. This was prov'd, if any doubted 
 it, by People's fmelling the Cvffee upon Entrance. 
 It next enquir'd into the Nature of Politicks, and of 
 the ordinary Difcourfe otCffee-H vfe*; both which it 
 prov'd to be of an hot and dry Conftitution \ whence 
 'twas inferr'd, that Cffee was the Caufe of thofe 
 Diicourfes from their LiVenefs. It was further 
 hinted, that this Hypothec's of the Crffee floating in 
 the Air, might account for thofe People's Behaviour 
 who were not able to purchaie a Dim of Cffee, fince 
 it is fuppos'd that they are all endued with the Senfe 
 of Smelling, and that every Body knows ^.ow near 
 the Brain, the Seat of all Senfation, the Nofe is plac'd. 
 Tiie Company juft mention'd confifting of an He- 
 Goat, an Hedgehog, and a Porcupine, the Matter 
 in Debate was, whether there was any fuch Tr.ing 
 as Love •, and whether any Perfbns ever kill'd them- 
 felves for Love. The Goat, by whofe Looks and 
 Lilcourfe I difcover'd that he was married, denied 
 both the Queftions, and faid, That though Hiftory 
 furnifhed us with many Inftances of People that run 
 into another World to look for a Miftrefs, }^et a 
 reafonable Man is not obliged to believe one \V r ord 
 of it, when he can aiiign another Caufe for their 
 fo Hidden Departure ^ as, that a Man may have his 
 Pock is pic::' J by a Female, and hang himfelf for 
 the Lofsof his Money, as many have done ^ or elfe, 
 by watching for Entrance at a Back-Door, catch Cold, 
 and fpit Blood, whence filly People might think his 
 Throat was cut ; or, if a Man that was going to Sea 
 had a Mind to learn to fwim with his Cloaths on, 
 if he ihould chance to be drown'd in learning, why, 
 th, he was in Love. He then argued like a 
 Philoibpher, and a married one too, from his own 
 Experience, that there was no fuch Thing as Love^ 
 but what was fo caU'd, might be refolv'd into a De- 
 li re 
 
C 47 ] 
 
 fire of Money, Intereft, Eafe, or fome fuch Prin- 
 ciples of our Actions ^ and further, delir'd his Com- 
 panions to'confider how heartily the moil: profefi'd 
 and ardent Lovers hated one another in the End of 
 their Acquaintance. The Hedgehog affirm'd, that 
 there was fuch a Thing as Love, tho' not in the 
 ftricteft Senfe, that is, that one Perfon alone can 
 be the Object of the Defires of another- and argued 
 likewife from Experience, that he had a Dozen 
 Miftrelfes at one Time, not one of which he lov'd 
 above another : But it was his throwing down Ap- 
 ples in an Orchard, and then rolling himfelf among 
 them, to make them Hick to his Sides, that firft 
 made him be of this Opinion. The Porcupine was 
 of his Opinion, with a Diftin&ion, that is, that one 
 may love a great many, tho' not in the fame in- 
 ftant j and that if a Man mould chance to meet two 
 or three of his Beloved in one Place, and at one 
 Time, he muft love none of them for that Time, 
 becaufe his Love is divided, tho' he could murder 
 himfelf for any one of them, confider'd feparately 
 from the reft; and for Proof of this he fwore, that 
 he would kill himfelf the next Bay, if the firft of 
 his Charmers which he met did not u(e him kindly. 
 He then call'd for a Bifh of Gffee, and mot a Quill 
 at the Wench who brought it to him ; and, to con- 
 firm his Doctrine, lov'd her for half a Night, till 
 her Mailer was getting up. The Clock ftruck, and 
 the learned Aiiembly, for Reafbns beft known to 
 themfelves, departed. I am not well able to de- 
 termine the Caufe of this Company's talking of 
 Love in a Gffee-Hcufe, unlets it be that they were 
 tir'd with Politicks, and, for Relaxation of their 
 Minds, deflgn'd to difcourfe of a fcfter Subject. 
 As foon as they were gone, we began to think of 
 the Play-Houfe, and Tckbrff told me, that it would 
 be proper to go thither early, that we might get a 
 convenient Scat h for he belie v'd that ths Houfe 
 
 would 
 
L 4*> J 
 would be much crowded that Night -, and by this, 
 laid he, a Man may judge of the People's Inclina- 
 tions. The Play which is to be acted to Night is 
 one that extenuates Vice without condemning it, 
 and that contains all the falfe Arguments that can 
 be brought in Defence of Gallantry, which, if exa- 
 min'd,will prove to be nothing lefs than fafhionable 
 Wickednefs. The Houfe is always full when Ho- 
 nefty is brought on the Stage to be laugh'd at, or 
 when the mining Character in the Play be the Cha- 
 racter of an harden'd Villain, that calls himfelf a 
 fine Gentleman. This People forgets how Glory, 
 and the Character of a fine Gentleman, was ac- 
 quir'd of old. 'Twas Virtue, and a Love for their 
 King and Country, that made the Gentleman. But 
 now the Learning of the Age has turn'd the Dull 
 of a Campaign into fweet Powder-, and thofe 
 which mould weild a Sword, have now learn'd the 
 fafniunable Airs of managing a Snuff-Box. The 
 "Writers of Plays well know which Way the People's 
 Affections tend ^ and, to comply with their deprav'd 
 Humour, have always introdue'd Virtue and Inno- 
 cence in the utmeft Diftrefs, as if Affliction were 
 their infeparable Attendant, whilft Vice is gene- 
 rally brought in in Triumph, and by a falfe Glols 
 affumes the Appearance of Virtue. This is not to 
 change Names, but Things, even Things of the 
 greateft Conference. But let us haften to the Play 
 Houfe, where, by the Acclamations of the People, 
 you may confirm what I have laid, as well as by 
 what you will fee reprefented on the Stage. 
 
 We went thither accordingly, and found all that 
 Tckhff had faid to be, true ^ for the Houfe was foon 
 fill'd, and by good Luck we got to a Seat were we 
 could fee all that was done in the Houfe very dip 
 tinctly. But as our greateft Pleafures have their Al- 
 loy of Bitternefs, it here prov'd my Cafe ^ for I 
 had propos'd a great deal of Pleafure to rnyfelf in 
 
 feeing 
 
[.49 ] 
 
 feeing a Play in the Moon, and probably would 
 
 have enjoy 'd it, had I not been leated where I 
 
 was • for there was an Animal that fat next to me 
 
 which gave me great Uneafinefs, both by his Looks 
 
 and Speech. He had a molt frightful and meagre 
 
 Countenance - y and the Sight of him made me 
 
 think, that whenfoever a Poet drew the Pidture of 
 
 Envy, he muft certainly mean an Animal of this 
 
 Species. I cannot compare him to any one Brute 
 
 that I faw in Ireland ; for he was a Compound of 
 
 many Brutes, tho' a Cur ieem'd to conftitute the 
 
 greateft Part of him. It were well for Children, 
 
 and Women with Child, if he were oblig'd to wear 
 
 a Mask, to prevent Mifcarriages, and the frightening 
 
 offoolifh Children out of their Wits. During the 
 
 whole Time of Aclion, he was railing at the Poet 
 
 and the Players, and for the moft part found Faults 
 
 where there were none ^ and if any Thing was faid 
 
 which he was forc'd to acknowledge to be good, tho' 
 
 that happen'd but rarely, he would curfe himfelf 
 
 for not being able to think fb well. 
 
 When the Play was over, I enquir'd of Tckbrff 
 who that Perfon I juft mention'd was. He told me 
 that he was a Critick, or one that is never pleas'd, 
 if he is pleas'd at all, but when he is finding out 
 real Faults in Writings, or making new ones. He 
 is one that is hated by, and hates all Writers : His 
 Obfervations are often trifling, and foreign to the 
 Purpofe : He would not think a Month ill beftow'd 
 in rinding out the Orthography of a proper Name, 
 or upon what Syllable of it the Accent was fo be 
 plac'd : But he has this Curfe attending him, that 
 he can raife Spirits often, which he cannot lay ; and 
 after his greateft Labours, is generally more igno- 
 rant of what he enquir'd into, than he was at the 
 Beginning. There are many Caufes aiiign'd for a 
 Perfon's becoming of this Clafs : Some will have ill 
 Nature to be the only Caufe ofit^ and alledge, that 
 
 G it 
 
[ 50 ] 
 
 it is vifible in every Feature of his Countenance. 
 Others think, that ill Nature, join'd to a Senfe of 
 his own Ignorance, is the Caufe of it ^ which makes 
 him ftrive to make others appear as ignorant as he 
 is perfuaded that he himfelf is: But to this is ob- 
 jected, that Criticks are very conceited, or at leaft 
 feem fo, of their own Abilities. The molt rational 
 Account of this is founded upon an Explication of 
 the natural Caufe of it, by the Obfervations which 
 were made upon the Brain cf one of thofe Animals : 
 It was obferv'd that there were many little Ani- 
 mals not unlike thofe found in Books, which we 
 call Book- Worms, running about the pineil Gland. 
 From whence the Anatomift argues thus : Since the 
 Seat of the Soul is in the pineal Gland, becaufe it 
 is allow'd to be wholly in the whole Body, and 
 wholly in every Part, or, to ufe their Words, who 
 deny the firft Pofition, that it is Totttm in tcto, & to- 
 turn in qualibet parte, it follows, that thofe little Ani- 
 mals which inhabit the pineal Gland, muft affect 
 the whole Scul. But frill the Queftion is, Why thofe 
 littleAnimals, hy thus affecting the whole Soul,fhould 
 make a Alan a Critick ? 
 
 To which I anfwer, that bad Company will fpoil 
 any Man, and foon make him of their Principles. 
 Now every Body allows, that it is the chief Bufl- 
 nefs of thofe Animals to make Holes in all the 
 Books they come at, never confidering whether the 
 the Book they lite on deferves fuch Treatment, or 
 not ^ and that the Soul is continually affected by 
 thefe Animals, may be thus proved : Experience 
 convinces us, that it is pollible for larger Animals 
 to get into the Brain ^ but thofe larger Animals muft 
 leave a fenfible Mark of their Entry, which the 
 Book- Worms do not. But why fhould we wonder 
 that we do not perceive the Holes by which they 
 enter, fince we cannot perceive the Holes through 
 which the Rays of Light pafs ? And to make this 
 
 appear 
 
the more reafonable, it is held, that thofe Animals 
 are taken into the Brain when they are very young, 
 and much about the Size of a pretty big Ray of 
 Light, which, by the By, is a Reafon why a Man 
 does not become a great Critick of a fudden, but 
 daily improves, as thofe Animals grow up, and 
 come to a worfe life of their Faculties. The Man- 
 ner of their getting into the Brain is by Attraction 
 through the Eyes ; for when the Brain is heated by 
 intenfe Thinking, it isallow'd to attract more ftrong- 
 ly than when it is cool. This Opportunity is taken 
 hold of for their Entry along with the Rays of Light 
 through the Coats and Humours of the Eye, till they 
 jflrrike up^n the Optick Nerve ^ in which there are 
 infmfible Holes for the PafTage of the Animal Spi- 
 rits, through which they are attracted into the Sub- 
 ftance of the Brain. Thofe little Animals wander 
 for fome Time in the Subftance of the Brain, till 
 they come to the pineal Gland, to which they are 
 invited by its pleafant Situation. It is to no Pur- 
 pofe to object, that if they were attracted through 
 the Eyes in this Manner, they might blind a Man,, 
 fince the fame Objection lies againft the Ra} T s of 
 Light ^ or to fay, that they would eat the Brain, for 
 lack of other Food, fince it is more probable that 
 they would rather chufe to eat one another than 
 the Brain, whofe Tafte is quite different from that 
 of Paper 5 and that it is reafonable to fuppofe that 
 their Bodies are of a Tafte not unlike it, as many 
 nice Palates have aflured us, fince they were firit 
 bred in Ink and Paper. Befides, they arc known 
 to breed fo fait, that two arc fufiBcient to ftock a 
 Kingdom in a fliort Time, provided they be Male 
 and Female. 
 
 G 2 CHAP. 
 
[ s* ] 
 
 CHAP. VIII. 
 
 Containing an Account of his T>r earn : Its Ex- 
 travagance accounted for. His being awa- 
 kened by ^People dancings with fome Ob- 
 fervations upon a Ball. 
 
 WHEN Tckbrff had ended this Account, I took 
 my Leave of him, and repair'd to my Lodg- 
 ings, to go to Reft, being fufficiently tir'dnvith the 
 Labours of the Y)a.y •, but I mull not omit that I 
 funp'J before I lay down. I had not been long in 
 Bed before I fr-11 into a profound Sleep, in which I 
 had the following Dream. I do not doubt but that 
 lying down upon a full Stomach, might, partly by 
 the Vapours which alcended from my Stomach to 
 my Brain, contribute fomething to fet my Imagina- 
 tion to work-, and if the Vapours which afcend 
 from the Stomach to the Head affect the Imagina- 
 tion, I can very well account for the Extravagance 
 and Incoherence of my Dream, fince thofe Vapours 
 muft coniift of fomething compounded of the dif- 
 ferent Sorts of Things which I eat : Yet, not to beg 
 the Queftion, I will confirm the Doctrine of I know 
 not what Vapours afcending from the Stomach to 
 the Brain, by the Teftimony of every old Woman 
 that can order a Vomit for the Head-Ach; and as 
 thofe Vapours were material, that is, compos'd of 
 Matter finely prepared, and as all Matter muft 
 have fome Form, it is certain that the Parts of Mat- 
 ter which conftituted thofe Vapours were of feveral 
 different Foims. Now it is confefs'd that thofe dif- 
 ferent Forms of the Parts of Matter, is the Reafon 
 ©f the Difference which we perceive in Bodies by 
 
 tailing. 
 
tatting. Experience alfo tells us, that by mixing 
 "Bodies we may alter what we call their Tafte, or 
 Sapor : Now I will leave it to any Man to judge 
 what a ftrange Confufion of Figures there muft be 
 In that Mail's Stomach, who fupp'd as I did before 
 he lay down: I eat of Flefh of three Kinds, with five 
 Modifications, or, as we call it in mine own Coun- 
 try, Ways of putting Sauce about it, and dretling 
 it. I mull be excus'd for not difcovering all that 
 I know of it, fince I apprehend that it would en- 
 courage a new Se£t to minifter to the Luxury of 
 our modern Epicureans : I eat of two Kinds of Fifli, 
 with four Modifications, with other Things which 
 were calftl Eatables, tho' I am fure I could never 
 make a Meal of them, that had above twenty feven 
 different Modifications, which I counted • they were 
 very like Sweetmeats. All this confider'd, plainly 
 proves that thofe Vapours which were bred in Con- 
 fufion, could never end in Regularity and Exact- 
 nefs, efpecially if we take into the Account the Va- 
 riety of Liquors which I drank at my Meal, moft 
 of which were very volatile. Surely no Philofbpher 
 will deny that the Soul cannot be as eafily, at leaft, 
 affected in the Head, as in the Tongue, when he 
 confiders the Texture of both, and that the Vapours 
 which affect the Soul in the Brain, bear the fame 
 Proportion to that which affecfs the Soul in the 
 Tongue, that the Brain does to the Tongue. 
 
 But as Dreams are often very extravagant, there 
 muft be no great Exactnefs expected in mine: I 
 thought that I was feated in the Play-Houfe of Dublin 
 upon the Earth, near two Criticks, (of the fame 
 Shape with thofe above mention'd,) before the Cur- 
 tain was drawn, who were in earned Difpute ; each 
 arfwered the Doubts which the other propos'd, by 
 raifing new ones^ and they pafs'd from one Quel- 
 tibn to another fo faft, that they determin'd none. 
 The Difpute was about the Curtain : Onz ask'd, whe- 
 ther 
 
[ U ] 
 
 ther the Perfbn who made it was a Wig or Tory ? 
 Upon the other's anfwering that he was a Wig, he 
 affirm'd that he was a Tory, and a marry'd Man 
 too, fince the Stiches of his Wife, who had a Hand 
 in it, might be diftinguifh'd from his. The other 
 alledg d, that the Difference in the Stitches pro- 
 ceeded from a fmall Prick which he gave his 
 Finger, and that he fow'd it by Candle Light : 
 The other affirm'd, that it was by Day Light, fince 
 one might fee thro' it : To which was anfwer'd, 
 that the Holes which were in it, were the Effect 
 of the Taylor's Negligence in prelling it with a 
 too hot Iron. This was obftinately deny'd ^ and 
 then both quoted the Records of the cHay-Houfe, 
 for a Proof of their contrary Opinions. At length 
 they became Co angry, by the Oppofition they met 
 with from each other, that they forgot what they 
 Erft contended about, and proceeded to direct A- 
 bufe. 
 
 While thefe two were thus abufing each other, a 
 Gentleman, with a very thinking Countenance, ad- 
 drefs'd himfelf to me, and faid, You fee, Sir, how 
 thofe Perfons difpute warmly about Trifles : It is 
 certain, that a Philofopher may learn a good Lef- 
 fbn from any Thing $ but thefe two cannot hit up- 
 on the Method of it. If a Man muft choofe that 
 Curtain for a Subject, let him take the Actors and 
 Audience into Confideration alfo. You may ob- 
 ferve, that in the Curtain before us, there are 
 three remarkable Holes, if we may call that Slit 
 in the Middle one: The two outermoft, by bare 
 looking at them, difcover that there was fbme 
 Pains taken with them, and the Rent in the Mid- 
 dle, feems to be at firft begun by fbme Body's 
 Fury. Now to apply : May that thofe whom you 
 lee walking behind the Curtain, be juftly com- 
 par'd to the learned Part of Mankind, who often 
 look thro' the Curtain, to obferve the Behaviour 
 
 of 
 
 
[ 55 1 
 
 of the Audience, which may be compar'd to the 
 World: The Curtain itfelf may be compared to 
 Ignorance, which hinders them from feeing what 
 they defire to fee, without fome Trouble •, for you 
 fee that a Man muft either ftoop to look thro' the 
 the outermoft Holes, or elfe lift up the Hole to the 
 Height of his Eves which he comes to. Thefe Holes 
 are like the Works of Ariflctle and his Correctors, 
 which we muft turn over before we are allow'd to 
 be Part of the learned World, or, tofpeak more ge- 
 nerally, like the beaten Paths of Knowledge. Men 
 that take all upon Truft, ftoop down to peep thro' 
 the Hole,-; : Thofc are mere Drudges, fit for 
 nothing elfe, but to carry the Burthen of another's 
 Knowledge: Others fomewhat luperior to them, 
 difdain to ftoop, without Reafon, to another's Sen- 
 timents, and by a Strength of Mind, raife the Hole 
 to their own Height, yet are too cowardly to at- 
 tempt uncommon Paths. The Rent near the Mid- 
 dle is the Effect of a Genius far above others, 
 and plainly fhews that Art had no hand in it. For 
 it is torn, not cut, and has rendered the Veil a- 
 b6ve it capable of being rent in the fame Man- 
 ner, if Art does not interpofe. To this the Cele- 
 brated of all Ages came ; and it may be obferv'd, 
 that the Top of the Slit does not rife higher than 
 the talleft Peribn's Head that comes to it. Thefe 
 are the Men that find Truth by uncommon Me- 
 thods, and every one that approaches, it ftretches, 
 if not breaks a Thread or two : Others being 
 plac'd in a Way where they might find one of 
 thole Holes, thro' a Stupid Carelefnefs, defpife 
 them all, and intend to look at the World thro' 
 the Diftance of the Threads in the firft Part of 
 the Curtain they come to. To tins End they pnfh 
 the Curtain fomewhat before them, and if they 
 fee any Thing at all, they fee it very confirfedly 5 
 and tho' they remove the Curtain a little forward, 
 
 yet 
 
[ 5<> ] 
 
 yet it falls back again beyond its due Situation. 
 "We may next confider thofe that come to the 
 Sides of the Curtain :, of which fome peep, others 
 fhevv their whole Body : The former are thofe, 
 which would obferve the World and inftruct it, 
 without being known ; the latter dare ftand its 
 Cenfure, and fhew their Perfbn to give an Authori- 
 ty to their "Writings. The "Walking of thofe be- 
 hind the Curtain to and fro, may be called the 
 Difputes which are among the Learned, each of 
 which would fain prove the reft Block-heads, thro* 
 a vain Conceit, that two of a Trade can never a- 
 
 gree ; but cannot all the Learned much ( better 
 
 Here I was awaken'd, much troubled that I had 
 not Time to ask this viiionary Gentleman fome 
 Queftions. 
 
 I was awakened by a Noife that was made in 
 the next Houfe to me : I arofe immediately, as 
 well to fee what was the Caufe of this Noife 
 which I heard, as to commit my fleeping Confe- 
 rence to my Writing, fince I was very diftruftful 
 of my Memory. When I had taken this Abftradt 
 of my Dream, (for I dare not be very poiitive 
 in faying that I heard nothing but what I fet down) 
 I went out to the Place where the Noife was made. 
 I was mightily furpriz'd at my Entry, to fee fo ma- 
 ny People making Fools ofthemfelves by certain 
 Rules, and dancing themfelves into Brutes to Mu- 
 flck. They called this Alfembly a Ball, by a Me- 
 taphorical Erpreifion; for as in a round Piece of 
 Matter, which is ufuall} 7 called a Ball, all the Parts 
 which make up this Ball are equally fubjedl to all 
 the Motions that can be given to the Ball j fb in 
 this AiTembly, every one that came into the Room 
 was equally liibject to be made a Beaft and a Fool 
 of And farther, /ince a Globe fet upon a Plain, 
 as Philofophers tells us, if once moved, would move 
 for ever, if fbmething did not hinder it •, fo when 
 
 thofe 
 
C 57 1 
 thofe People have once begun to dance, if their 
 Strength did not fail them, they would never leave 
 off Befides, they call themfelves a Ball, from a 
 Cuflom which they have of forming a Circle with 
 their Bodies, as Horfes do about a Pond, when ma- 
 ny go to drink at once. I could not but be griev'd, 
 to fee People applaud each other for their Imitati- 
 on of Beafts, fince every Motion of theirs was de- 
 figned to imitate fbme Creature which they de- 
 fpifed. The Creatures which they chiefly imitated, 
 were Ducks, Horfes, and a Pack of Dogs playing 
 after a plentiful Meal : Their Imitation of Ducks, 
 which was flow, and waddling, they called Drptxye 5 
 it may be render'd, without much Straining, a Mi- 
 nuet : Their Imitation of a Trooper's Horle, when 
 he is exercifing, may be render'd Jiggs: And their 
 Imitation of Dogs, Country-Dances. Their Jiggs 
 were called Cfdmno, and their Country-Dances 
 Glgbdne. There were fome who attempted to imi- 
 tate the Flying of Birds h but thole that could 
 raife themfelves highefr. from the Ground, were 
 mod: hurted in their Fall. It is but trifling to urge, 
 that by Dancing we learn a graceful Carriage 
 and genteel Behaviour, fince thofe Beads which 
 we imitate are void of bothj and Reafon alone 
 mould direct us in acquiring them, tho' Cuflom 
 is now the univerfal Director : But frill the Diffi- 
 culty is to account, for this Propensity to imitate 
 Brutes. Pbilofuphers divide the sJppetite into ratio- 
 nal and fenfitive:, the former is peculiar to Men, 
 the latter we have in common with Beafts : When 
 the Rational governs, all Things are well, and we 
 live as we ought to do : But, from the Moment 
 that the fenfitive gets the upper Hand, we com- 
 mence Brutes. Now the Soul is fuppos'd to have 
 its rational End uppermoft, when Men do the 
 ordinary Offices of Life, which they are obliged to:^ 
 But this is a grand Miftake^ for the Generality of 
 
 H Men 
 
[ 58 ] 
 
 Men eat and fleep by mere Inftinft. Befides, I 
 never heard tell of a Medium, which the Philofo- 
 phers cou'd agree to, between Man and Beaft : 
 Hence it is probable, that in a Man's learning 
 to become a Fool, or to dance, that by the vio- 
 lent and frequent Motion of his Body, he makes 
 the rational End of his Soul into his Heels, which 
 being accuftom'd to govern, and impatient of Sub- 
 jection, caufes fbme Uneaiinefs in the lower Parts, 
 and keeps them always in Motion. Befides, it is 
 no great Wonder, that thofe who have the Soul 
 of a Beaft to direct their upper Parts, fhou'd be 
 ftrongly inclin'd to brutal Anions. 
 
 CHAP. IX. 
 
 Containing an Account of his failing under 
 JVatcr : The Manner of it. The Boat's fplit- 
 t'rng again ft a Rock : Their being receiv'd 
 into a fubterraneous Cavern : Their Recep- 
 tion. An Account of mechanical Toetry: Sac- 
 tuff' s Kmdnefs to them. 
 
 Hitherto I had liv'd as happily as I could 
 expect at fuch a Diftance from mine own 
 Country- and now I began to think ferioufly of 
 fettling in the Moon for the Remainder of my 
 Life j and after ftudying a long Time in vain, 
 how to get back to the Earth, I concluded that it 
 was impoifible, tho' Experience has fince convinced 
 me of my Error. How often have I at Night, gaz'd 
 at the dear Planet I was born in ? Whilft it 
 difpens'd its Light and kind Influence to the Moon, 
 I would oft, with the greater!: Sorrow, call upon 
 my Friends in it, as if they cou'd hear me, or 
 lend me any Affiftance : Then would I reflect up- 
 
 its 
 
[ 59 ] 
 
 on its Beauty, and blame myfelf for having once 
 thought that it was lefs glorious than other Pla- 
 nets. At length I refolv'd to find Contentment 
 in the Moon, which is fo hard to be found in the 
 Earth, and make a Choice of NeceiFity. But cruel 
 Fortune, whofe Power reach'd even thither, envi- 
 ed me this Happinefs which I propos'd to my- 
 felf and refolv'd to lead me into more Dangers. 
 
 Amidft nay firm Refolutions to decline meddling 
 with State Affairs, and innocently enjoy my mo- 
 derate Penfion, Tckkff came to me, and told me 
 he had invented fbmething worth my feeing. It 
 was a Boat to fail in under Water. I immediate- 
 ly ask'd , ] ;ow we mould breathe ^ and he told me, 
 he had provided feveral Bottles full of Animal 
 Spirits, which he had gather'd by tying thefe Bot- 
 tles to Perfons Nofes that were dying. The Boat 
 after we had enter'd into it, and diligently ftopp'd 
 all the Holes to keep out the Water, was to be 
 fill'd with thofe Spirits, which would abundantly 
 compenfate the want of Air. I doubted what he 
 laid, till he afTur'd me that he had alreadymade 
 the Experiment, and had a fufficient Quantity of 
 Animal Spirits for one Day's failing. Upon this I 
 went with him to the Boat, which cou'd contain but 
 three Perfons with the Bottles. We took along 
 with us an old Mathematician, to fteer for us; who 
 by his Skill, cou'd fink the Boat to any Depth re- 
 quir'd. When we had enter'd the Boat, and care- 
 fully ftopp'd every Hole which might let in the 
 Water, Tckbrff open'd the Bottles, one by one, as 
 we began towantfrefh Air^ and indeed they made 
 our Refpiration very pleafant, for the Spirits Coon 
 found a Paffage into every Part of our Bodies, 
 and caus'd all our Members to breathe, as well as 
 perform other Animal Functions. 
 
 The next Thing we fet about, was to fink the 
 Boat: which the old Gentleman perform'd in a ve- 
 
 H 2 *y 
 
C <o •] 
 
 ry wonderful Manner : He began fir ft to demon- 
 ftrate, that there was a Principle of Gravity inhe- 
 rent in all Matter, which made it tend to the Cen- 
 ter- Tckbrff, who knew the Part he was to act, 
 would now and then deny fomething that he had 
 faid. The old Gentleman, to confirm his AiTertion, 
 would give a mathematical Thump to the Bottom 
 of the Boat, which would caufe it fenfibly to de- 
 lcend ; and thus he would fink it to any Depth re- 
 quir'd. Whenever we had a Mind to raife the 
 Boat, the old Gentleman would fuffer his Hypo- 
 thecs to be refuted, and withhold his Demonftra- 
 rive Fill:. 
 
 We fail'd very pleafantly for about & League, 
 and faw all the Wonders of the Deep : There were 
 three Windows in our Barge made of tranfparent 
 Steel •, one of each Side, and one at the Stem. My 
 Veracity in this may be doubted •, but when a Man 
 confiders that Bodies are made transparent when 
 their Pores lie in rectilinear Directions, the only 
 Difficulty will be fo prove that Steel may have its 
 Pores difpos'd in this Manner; and the beft Way to 
 prove this, will be to explain the Manner in which 
 the Steel was made tranfparent. The old Gen- 
 tleman, before mention'd, took three Pieces of Steel, 
 and beat them with an Hammer till they were 
 very thin : This Work indeed requir'd fome Time. 
 He then took the Steel Plates, and put each of 
 them between two Fires of equal Degrees of Heat, 
 and let them remain lo long between the Fires, 
 that the Particles of the oppofite Fires, by their 
 acting upon the Steel, and attracting each other, 
 at length found a Paffage through the Steel, which 
 was made pliable by their uninterrupted Action on 
 either Side. When he found that the Holes, through 
 which the Fire had pafs'd, were big enough to fuf- 
 fer tie Rays of Light to pafs through, he threw Wa- 
 ter upon the Steel Plates, which cool'd them, and 
 
 made 
 
C 61 ] 
 made them hard : This being done fuddenly, kept 
 the Pores as wide when the Steel was cold, as it was 
 when it was adted upon by the Fires. He did not 
 venture, indeed, to polifh the Plates, left he mould 
 flop the Pores by rubbing upon them. Through 
 thefe three Windows we look'd into the Sea ^ for 
 the Holes through which the Light pafs'd were too 
 imall to fuffer the leaft Particle of Water to enter 
 at, and avoided many Rocks, as well as obferv'd 
 the Behaviour of the Fifh.es. I could obferve fome 
 moving gently along for their Recreation, and o- 
 thers, with a more thoughtful Countenance, moving 
 precipitantly, to difpatch fome Bufinefs. There was 
 a Fiih taben Prifoner by two others at our Right 
 Side : I judg'd that he was taken Prifoner, by his 
 being feiz'd by the Gills, and forcibly carried back 
 by the Road he came. His Crime, I fuppofe, was 
 Theft • for he carried a Piece of Flefh in his Mouth, 
 which he dropp'd as foon as he was feiz'd ^ but it was 
 taken up hy one of his Attendants. We were de- 
 firous to know what would be the Event of this 
 that we had feen, and accordingly defir'd our old 
 Gentleman to fteer after them. 
 
 Happy had it been for us, if we had not been fo 
 curious ^ for our Pilot, inftead of minding his Way, 
 was taken up in coniidering whether he might not 
 demonftrate a mathematical Problem by the Mo- 
 tions of thofe Fifhes Tails. In this profound Con- 
 templation he was fo wholly taken up with obfer- 
 ving the Fifhes Tails, that he took no Notice of a 
 Rock, which he mould have left at the Larboard- 
 Side, but drove directly againil it, and fplit the 
 Boat. I fpy'd the Rock as we were upon it ^ but 
 it was too late to prevent the certain Death which 
 I immediately expected. Our Boat came with great 
 Violence againft the Rock, (for we made all the Way 
 we could,) and fplit into an hundred Pieces : We 
 fhould all have immediately perifh'd, had it not 
 
 been 
 
[ 6i ] 
 
 teen for the wonderful Adventure which we met 
 with. 
 
 Our Boat had no fooner ftruck againft the Rock, 
 but it rpen'd, and difcover'd a large and lightfome 
 Apartment: A very uncouth Figure came fpeedily 
 to the Opening of the Rock, and pull'd us all in, 
 to know what we wanted. As loon as we got fafe 
 in, he clos'd the Rock, and told us, in the Lan- 
 guage of Q^tqnt, that had he taken us into his Lodg- 
 ing tofave us from being drown'd. Before we had 
 given him an Account of our coming thither, he 
 pitch'd upon the old Mathematician to fpeak for 
 us, expecting that he would declare the Truth. 
 Indeed he related Matters of Fact juft as, they hap-r 
 pen'd •, and our Treatment would have been more 
 favourable than it was, had not he ventur'd to ex- 
 plain in his own Terms the Manner of finking and 
 raifing the Boat. Our Hoft was confounded at this 
 new Doctrine, and took us for Conjurerers s Upon 
 which he order'd us to be chain'd, to prevent our 
 doing any Mifchief, and fet a Guard to prevent our 
 drawing Figures, which fat heavier upon the old 
 Man than his Chains. 
 
 "When we were thus confin'd, I had Leifure to ob- 
 ferve the Place we were in, as well as the Behaviour 
 of thofe that were at work in it- for there were 
 feveral employed in Spinning, and working at An- 
 vils. The Light which we had, was made by Pieces 
 of ftinking Fiih, hung up and down • but I could 
 by no Means guefs at what they were working. At 
 length I prevail'd upon a gentle Youth, that was 
 fet to watch us, to give me an Account of their 
 Manner of working. He told me, that thofe at the 
 Wheels were fpinning Sonnets, Odes, Epigrams, 
 and all the eafier Kinds of Poetry. I was furpriz'd 
 at this Relation, till he explain'd to me the Man- 
 ner of their Spinning. They firft took the Letters 
 of their Alphabet, and fet them down in all the 
 
 various 
 
[ 6 ? ] 
 
 various Cafes that they were capable of, in long 
 Pieces of Paper, whofe Breadth did not exceed half 
 an Inch •, they next twilled this Paper with their 
 Wheels, till thofe Letters which appear'd on the Out- 
 fide of the Thread were jumbled into a Poetical 
 Line. Thofe Lines were carefully fet down in a 
 Day-Book by one appointed for that Purpofe ; from 
 which they were transferr'd by others into another 
 Book, and rang'd in harmonious Order, according 
 to their Agreement or Difagreement. "Whenfoever 
 it happened that a Thread was broke, they piec'd 
 it with a proper Name, an old Proverb, or a Si- 
 mile • of which they always had a good Store ready 
 made for thofe Occafions. It is not ftrange that 
 thofe Poets mould make thofe Verfes thus mecha- 
 nically, to any one that confiders how polfible the 
 Work is ^ for where the Vowels and Confonants are 
 fb varioufly mix'd, and fuch a Quantity of them on 
 each Side of the Paper, it necelfarily follows, that 
 in Twilling fome of the Letters mull be hid, whilft 
 thofe that appear'd on the Sides of the Thread as 
 certainly muft make Words, as that Words are 
 made of Vowels and Confonants. I will not fay 
 that the uniform Motion of the Wheel, and 
 the Squeezing of the Letters according to Art, 
 contributed nothing to their Endeavours. Indeed, 
 thej' could not find a Line which was good Senle 
 upon every Thread, tho' upon fome the}' found two 
 or three, when the Spinfter was skilful, and the 
 Paper able to endure manyTwiftings. Abbrevia- 
 tions and Apoftrophes were occafion'd by fome Let- 
 ters being hid in a Wrinkle, which did really be- 
 long to the Line, tho' the Skill of the Spinftcrs 
 could not force them to fhew themfelves. 
 
 As to thcfe at work at the Anvils, laid he, they 
 are employ'd in making Epick Poems : Their Ham- 
 mers are of Leads, and their Anvils of Crab-Tree: 
 They have all the Letters of the Alphabet written 
 
 feverally 
 
[ 6 
 
 4 J 
 
 federally on Separate Pieces of Paper: Thofe Pieces 
 are generally fquare, and one of their Sides never 
 exceed a Quarter of an Inch. Soft Clay is what 
 they work at, with thofe Letters ttrew'd in it : They 
 beat this Clay till a Line, or half a Line, may be 
 read on fume Side of it ^ which being written, a* 
 before, they begin to hammer afrefh for another 
 Line, and foon. This Work is, indeed, more difficult 
 than the former, and requires great Art in mana- 
 ging the Hammer, and tempering the Clay j yet a 
 skilful Man will beat forty Line, or more fome- 
 times, out of one Piece of Clay. There are fbme 
 who work at the Anvil that do not, as Vet, pretend 
 to beat out whole Lines, and are employ'd in ma- 
 king Epithets, Proper Names, and poetical Blun- 
 ders. But, faid I, to what End is all this Pains ta- 
 ken, fince you have no Commerce with thofe upon 
 dry Land. He fmil'd, and told me, that I was mis- 
 taken h for it was to thofe Men which I faw at work, 
 that the People in the Moon were indebted for all 
 the Poetry which they had among them. My 
 Matter, faid he, has certain inviiible MeiTengers, 
 which he calls the Mufes ; thofe he fends to vend the 
 "Wares as fart as he gets them ready for Sale. The 
 Mufes carry his Goods up to the Moon, and fell 
 them there to the higheft Bidder •, but he rates his 
 tolerable Productions lb dear, that it generally 
 cofts a Man all that he is worth to purchale one or 
 more of them, according to their Value, and the 
 Buyer's Abilities, which is a Reafon that thofe that 
 are accounted the beft Poets, are generally the poor- 
 er!:. I as'vM him then, why his Matter fold any 
 Poems that were bad ? or why he did not claim all 
 the Praifo which was gtren to fome of his Works, 
 as his own proper Due? He anfwer'd, that his Map 
 ter had Workmen of all forts, and confequently 
 fome bad ones, which would have their Wages paid 
 them as punctually as the beft h and fince he had 
 
 Hopes 
 
[65] 
 
 Hopes that the worft would mend, he fold their 
 "Works to encourage them, and defray the Charges 
 he has been at in maintaining them, and fupply- 
 ing them with Materials to work with. Befides, 
 Money being what he chiefly coveted, he little 
 minded Applaufe, which he knew would never 
 maintain a Man, or even mend an old Shoe. 
 
 Here Tckbrff interrupted us, and told me, that 
 I was very merry in my Confinement, and rather 
 ought to coniider how I might be fet free, than 
 a k Queftions about my Keepers. I told him, that 
 as our Entry into this Place was a little odd, fo I 
 believed, would our Elcape be, if ever fuch aThing 
 happen'd •, and that I was perfedtly relign'd to un- 
 dergo any Thing which mould be laid upon us, ex- 
 cept ftarving; for I could not think of dying with 
 an empty Stomach, without a Qualm. I know of 
 no Method, anfwer'd Tckbrff, of letting ourfelves at 
 Liberty,, but by fincerely promifing to behave well, 
 and be obedient to all the Commands of our prefent 
 Mafter. I lik'd the Propofal, and willed to have 
 it immediately executed ; and in order to it, reiolv'd 
 to fpeak for us all, which, if it fhould turn to our 
 Difad vantage, I would be only as blameable as 
 thofe who had brought me to this Place. 
 
 I then prevail'd upon the young Man above men- 
 tion'd to call his Mafter : As he was coming near 
 us, I had Leifurc to view him diftinctly j and in- 
 deed he was a very uncommon Figure, and very 
 ftrangely drefs'd : His Nofe was plac'd in his Fore- 
 head, and his Mouth was below his Chin ; his Eyes 
 and Ears, Legs and Arms, had chang'd their Places, 
 and his Gate was between Walking and Flying. He 
 wore a Mantle artfully wrought with many Fi- 
 gures, of Cupids, Monfters, green Fields, Caves, 
 Armour, Gods and Caftles, with here and there a 
 Battle and a Wedding. When he was come up to us, 
 I began to fpeak to him, and laid, Mo ft mighty ««j 
 
 I 'puijaut 
 
[ 66 ] 
 
 nu> (f ant Hero > thou Glory of thy Race, and Wonder of th* 
 Aie, pardon the meanejl of thy Servants that attempts to 
 enumerate thy Virtues ; but they are fo confpicuous, that 
 inanimate Things are ready to proclaim them : With which 
 of thy good Qiialities fhall I begin ; fhall 1 fir ft praife thy 
 •wonder jul Knowledge in Arts, or rather thy fur pricing Hu- 
 manity towards us $ that Humanity to which we owe that 
 we are alive , and have an Opportunity of being afioniflod 
 at tliy glorious Manjions. Our greateft Ambition is toferve 
 thee 5 and if we prove defective tn any "Thing thou com- 
 mttttdeft) Ut our Willingness to undertake it attone for it. 
 But here thy Perfections daz,z,le me, and thy Virtues ought 
 rather to be admird in exprejftve Silence, than ynworthily 
 enumerated. Never was a Patron better pleas'd with 
 a Dedication from one that fcarce knew him : Wq 
 were immediately fet at Liberty, and invited to 
 Dinner. You may believe that this was very ac- 
 ceptable to us, when I tell you that we very hun- 
 gry- 
 
 Our Dinner was of Fifh, fome of which I knew 
 
 the Names of, but other Difhes, that were like O- 
 lios, I was an entire Stranger to. At Table I firft 
 gave a (hort Account of my Coming to the Moon, 
 and anfwer'd fome Queftions concerning the Earth, 
 and then was favour'd with the following Account 
 from him, that entertain'd us. To relate, faid he, 
 all the PafTages of my Life, would be too tedious, 
 tho' they are, as far as I can fee, no way inferior 
 to what you have dtliver'd concerning yourfelf, 
 in being ftrange and furprizing : I fhall only hint 
 at Matters of lels Importance, and give you a full 
 Account of Principals. 
 
 CHAP. 
 
[6 7 ] 
 
 CHAP. X. 
 
 Containing a brief Account of Sa&ufPj Life, 
 with the Manner of his coming there. Of 
 his fbetving them his Rarities, efpecially a 
 Colour fubfifting without a Bodjj, and the 
 Thilofofher's Stone; with fome Account 
 of it. 
 
 I Was J>orn in Bahil, a City of Poronis, which is 
 a Kingdem in the Northern Parts of the Moon : 
 My Father enjoy'd a moderate Fortune, juft fufri- 
 cient for the Maintenance of a numerous .Family j 
 for he had four Sons, and three Daughters. My el- 
 deft Brother being the greateft Blockhead of the Fa- 
 mily was made a Merchant: In him was the old 
 Proverb verify'd, that Fools have Fortune 5 for he 
 became very rich. My fecond Brother and I were 
 fent to School, and were defign'd for a liberal E- 
 ducation. In my tender Years I difcover'd the 
 Marks of a comprehenfive Mind •, and was not a 
 little proud of the Praife and CarefTes of my Friends : 
 This Humour lb far prevail'd with me, thai I thought 
 myfelf perfectly knowing in many Things, which 
 I was an utter Stranger to. I mightily affeded 
 Solitude, and was found often alone in the Fields, 
 when my School-Fellows were alfembled in Town 
 at their Diverfions. It happen'd one Day, as I was 
 taking my Walk, I was wholly taken up in repre- 
 fentinga long Scene of Profperity to my Imagination, 
 which I hop'd would befal me. So far was I tran£ 
 ported with thefe Thoughts, that I had wander'd 
 infenfibly into a Wood at a good Diftance from my 
 Father's ; Night was approaching, and I could not 
 
 I 2 find 
 
[ «« ] 
 find the right Way ^ I then refolved to fpend that 
 Night in fjme Tree, and early the next Morning to 
 go home. As I was looking about for a conve- 
 nient Place to lodge in that Night, I chanced 
 to fpy an old Man with this Mantle, which you 
 fee me wear, caft about him : His Eyes were funk 
 in his Head, and his Beard was white, and half an 
 Yard long ; but when he fpoke I was wonderfully 
 terrified. He approach'd me, and asked me by what 
 Chance I was brought i hither, or whither I propofed to 
 go. I anfwer'd, that I had loft my Way, and begg'd of 
 him to direct me, II nee I believ'd he was no Stranger 
 in thofw Parts. He told me that it would be in vain 
 for me to attempt to get home that Night j»and fince 
 I had met with him, I mould be welcome to fuch 
 Entertainment as his Dwelling afforded : I thank'd 
 him for his kind Offer, and went along with him. 
 He led me through many By and Unfrequented Ways 
 to a Cave in which he dwelt •, but juft as I entred, 
 he difcern'd in me a great Uneafinefs, and bid me 
 be of good Chear, with an AfTurance that no Evil 
 fhould befal me whilft I remain'd with him. To 
 comfort me, by moving his Wand, a Table heap'd 
 with Dainties was fet before us by invifible Servants. 
 I was at firft loath to tafte, till overcome with Hun- 
 ger and his Intreaties, I prov'd it good and whole- 
 fome. After Supper I began to take a great Liking 
 to fuch Entertainment, and defign'd to return home 
 no more, if I could live where I was. Heiclckfo-ff 
 interrupted, and faid, he could not believe that any 
 M.tnhad Spirits at his Command:, for, laid he, if the 
 Devil be fo very proud as we are told he is, how is 
 it confiftent with his Pride to fubmit himfelf and 
 his Retinue to the Caprice of every one that is 
 willing to employ them? It is faid, indeed, that 
 thofe to whom he is thus fubject for a fhort Time, 
 become his Vaffals for ever; but if he had no Way 
 of peopling his Territories, but by being firft a Slave 
 
 him- 
 
[ 69 ] 
 
 himfelf, there might be fome Grounds for this Opi- 
 nion • yet fince we know that in every Company, 
 even the fmalleft., he has, for the moft part, one or 
 more Deputies, by whofe unwearied Diligence, he 
 might expedt in a fhort Time to people the very 
 Deferts of his Empire, though he never ftirr'd abroad 
 himfelf: It is not reafonable to fuppofe that his Pride 
 would brook with fuch a voluntary Subjection. 
 
 All this, leyly'dSafttiff, I will readily grant you, 
 (for that was our HohYs Name;) and will Ihew 
 you, as far as it is lav/ful for me at prefent, how a 
 Conjurer performs his "Works : A Conjurer, in the 
 vulgar Acceptation, is taken for one who has made 
 a League, with the Devil h but I allure you that it 
 only fignifies a Philofopher, or one that is a curi- 
 ous Oblerver of Events, and their true Cauies ^ 
 from which Obfervation he foretels Things that 
 muft happen, as if they were Contingencies : By 
 this Means, Wars, Eclipfes, Storms, &c. are fore- 
 told. But the working of Miracles, which is falftjr 
 afcrib'd to them, is no more than the Effect of 
 their cunning Deluiion : For thofe Men, by their 
 unwearied Diligence, find out Qualities unknown 
 to the Vulgar in the commoneft Bodies : They 
 will transform a Body (as theyfaj T ) by deceiving 
 the Sight, or fubftituting another in the Room of 
 it • and this is done either by the Help of fome 
 Effluvia which they tranfmit to the Eyes of their 
 Spectators, or by placing the Body to be tranf- 
 form'd in different Lights, which every one knows 
 will alter the Colour, if not feemingly the Form 
 of the Body. I have myfelf, a Powder, which 
 will hinder the Rays of Light from being reflect- 
 ed from any Body, and fb make it invifible -and 
 likewife a Bottle of Spirits, which will hinder a 
 Man from feeing Bodies of fuch Colours as I do 
 defign to conceal, except their Eyes be anointed 
 with fomething which I have prepaid, to hinder 
 
 the 
 
[ 7° ] 
 the Operation of thole Spirits. I dare reveal no 
 more at prefent, but fhall proceed to inform you 
 of mine own Adventures as briefly as I can. 
 
 After Supper, I contented to ftay with him, on 
 Condition that he wou'd inftruct me in his Art j 
 ivhich he in a fhort Time perform'd. I liv'dwith 
 him thirty nine Years, for the moft Part pretty 
 pleafantly, tho' in the Beginning I did not much 
 care for the Converfation of Perfons I could not 
 lee; for he kept many Servants, who were firm to 
 his Intereft on Account of the good "Wages which 
 he gave them, and who were not to be feen by 
 any Stranger, for fear of a Diicovery. He fup- 
 ply'd them with Money by the Help of the Phi- 
 lofbpher s Stone, which he was in PoflefFion of, 
 and generally kept one Perfbn invifible to buy 
 him NeceiTaries. During the firft three Years, I 
 was employ'd in grinding Powders, gathering 
 Herbs, and boiling them for Ule h and fometimes 
 was allow'd to fee the Manner of fome ©f their 
 Performances. When I had attain'd to this fmall 
 Knowledge, I began to think myfelf as expert as my 
 Mafter, and refoiv'd to give him a Proof of my 
 Skill, upon the firft Opportunity. 
 
 But fee how Fortune favour'd my Defign : I 
 was order'd one Day to make a certain Powder ; 
 and to this End, I was firft to walh a Piece of 
 "Wood in a Chymical Liquor, and then hammer it 
 it till I had broke the Continuity of the Parts : 
 All this I did - and above my Orders, I wet the 
 Powder in this Liquor, purely to fee what Efr'ccl 
 it wou'd have, and was a little amaz'd, that the 
 Powder' upon being wet became invifible, the Euik 
 of it ftill remaining the lame, as I obferved by 
 feeling it. I immediately concluded that the Co- 
 lour was latent in the Liquor, fince the Wood had 
 loft it ; and thought, that to extract the Colour 
 from the Liquor, wou'd be a fufficient Proof of 
 
 my 
 
[ 7i ] 
 my Art. Accordingly I took the Liquor, and plac'd 
 it in a Glafs Yeffel over the Fire : This Vctfel I 
 cover'd with three Folds of fine Linnen, and over 
 it plac'd a Retort, to receive the Liquor as it fhou'd 
 be carried up in Vapours: After it had remain'd 
 for the Space of three Hours over a gentle Fire, 
 I perceiv'd that the Liquor was entirely forc'd in- 
 to the Retort • and then I took it ofF to cool. 
 "When I had feparated the VefTels, I faw the Co- 
 lour (with no fmall Joy) flicking to the Linnen : 
 This I artfully took from it, and laid it bj% to be 
 preferv'd for a Rarity, which I will prefent ly fhcw 
 you. ,. 
 
 Perhaps you may wonder how a Body may he 
 depriv'd of all Colour •, or how Colour, which is 
 only a Property of Body, can fubfift without aBody - 
 but this is not to be marvelPd at, when you con- 
 fider that it is as poilible for a Property to fub- 
 fift without a Body, as for nothing to have any 
 Property. Yet fome have affirm'd that nothing 
 hath Properties, when they fay that a Shadow is a 
 Nigrum Nihil, or a Black Nothing. When I had 
 effected this, I brought my Performance to my 
 Mafter, who was very much delighted with it. 
 
 From that Time I was no longer kept in Igno- 
 rance of the moft myfterious Part of his Art : I was 
 firft fworn to obierve certain Articles, and then in- 
 ftrutted in many Niceties of Art : I was taught 
 to gather Lightening, and preferve it for Ufc • to 
 make wholefome Bread of Hail-Stones, and Tarts 
 of driven Snow^ to make Clocks of Radifhes, and 
 Buff-Belts of Nut-Shells h with many other Things 
 too tedious to recount. In fhort, I was taught to 
 act Impoifibilities, and find out Things that never 
 had a Being. Thus I became a ufeful Servant to 
 an indulgent Mafter, who repofed more Confidence 
 in me, than in any of his Domefticks ; and, in his 
 
 Life- 
 
t 7» 3 
 
 Life-time, as well as at his Death, let me feel 
 his Bounty. 
 
 A little before his Death, he was very much in* 
 difpofed, and thought that he would be in a fair 
 "Way of Recovery, if he removed to this Place 
 where we now are : Accordingly he took me along 
 with him, and we both arrived, here fafe by the 
 Help of a Diving-Bell, which he kept for that 
 Purpofe. We were no fooner arrived than his 
 Sicknefs increafed, which fhortly made an End of 
 him. About an Hour before he died, he called 
 me to him, and fpoke to me like a kind Father, 
 advifing me, and bequeathing all his PofTcllions to 
 me. 
 
 I know, faid he, that the Hour of my Death 
 is at hand •, and now I bid Farewel to all the 
 gilded Vanity which Men fb eagerly purfue. Mark 
 well my "Words, and do not fulpect a dying Man 
 of Falftiood : I now am old, and fraught with Ex- 
 perience and Obfervation, which may be of ufe 
 to you that are young : I have feen Fortune load- 
 ed with Gifts and Honours, fmilingly courting 
 me to enjoy her $ yet f juft when I hoped to 
 poffefs her, fhe hath frown'd • and not only baf- 
 fled my Hopes, but deprived me of fome fmall Fa- 
 vours which I before quietly enjoyed. This Treat- 
 ment convine'd me that fhe was giddy, and armed 
 me againft her Smiles, as well as Frowns : I op- 
 pofed her with a fuperior Power, and call'd Virtue 
 to my Aid, who is conftant to her Votaries : She 
 led me far from Noife and Tumult, and brought 
 me Contentment in Solitude. There I exerciled 
 my Mind, and improved it ; 'and made Difcove- 
 ries in Nature ufeful to myfelf and others • yet 
 here Fortune was kind, and difcovered her Blind- 
 nefs, by tempting one that was out of her Power. 
 Her Shadows could not draw me from the real 
 Subftance 5 neither could Abundance of Gold make 
 
 me 
 
C 73 3 
 
 me forget that I was a Man. If Riches could free 
 a Man from Death, what Treafures cou'd I offer, 
 were I unwilling to die ? But I refign my Breath in 
 Quietndfs, and my immortal Part thirfts after new 
 Happinefs. The Thoughts of certain Death made 
 me ftudy to die well ^ and that my lateft Hours 
 mould not be full of Horror and Remorfe,' all my 
 worldly Goods I give to }'ou, who will, I hope, 
 rightly ufe them. Care and Difquiet attends the 
 Abufe of them, whilft Men look upon thole Things 
 which are, at beft, but convenient, and often fu- 
 perfluous, as necelfary. 
 
 More lje would have laid, but his Strength fail'd 
 him ; and, to my inexpreilible Grief, he gave up 
 the Ghoft. He now lies buried in one End of this 
 Cave in a Tomb, which I took Care to , adorn, 
 that being the only Way by which I could pro- 
 fefs mine Efteem for fo indulgent and fo kind a 
 Mafter. 
 
 When SaSiuff had made an End of Speaking, we 
 requefted of him to fhew us fbmeof his Rarieties, 
 efpecially the Philofbphers Stone, of which I had 
 heard fb much before, with but little Certainty. 
 He contented, and firft produe'd the Colour fub- 
 fiffcing without a Body : It was a pale Red, fufpend- 
 ed, I know not how, in a little Box^ it touched no 
 Part of the Box, neither could it be felt, or eafily 
 removed. 
 
 When we had wondered a while at this, he 
 fhew'd us the Philofopher's Stone. It was a little 
 Piece of compounded Earth, fbmewhat refembling 
 a Man : It was improperly call'd a Stone, and 
 had that Name on Account of its Infallibility. Its 
 Arms were extended, and its Paws were ready 
 to grafp at any Thing : Its Countenance was pale 
 and meagre, and looked like one almoit (pent with 
 over-watching, and prey'd upon by Cares. It 
 flood upon an Heap of Gold, attended by fcvcial 
 
 K Phantoms • 
 
[ 74 1 
 
 Phantoms : A,varice, Fear, and Difcontent, were its 
 inieparable Attendants, which laboured to incrcafe, 
 as well as prcferve the baneful Store. The Phan- 
 tom of Avarice was conftantly commending the 
 Poffeillons of others, and propofing Means to bring 
 them to this ufelefs Lump^ while that of Fear would 
 raife imaginary Doubts, and rack her Invention 
 for Difficulties. Thofe two were : at continual Dif- 
 cord* for Avarice would bring in Security to its Aid ; 
 but Fear oppofed it, by fetting forth, that it was 
 unguarded and dangerous. All this while Difcon- 
 tent fat brooding over their Jars, and by the Af- 
 fiftance of Defpair found out Means to foment them. 
 Pleafure once came, and onered them his Service •, 
 but they unanimoufly rejected it, urged on by 
 Fear, who mewed them all the Extravagancies 
 which Pleamre was liable to. Notwithstanding 
 thofe Domeitick Broils, they all concurred in in- 
 creafing the Store ; and to this End they em- 
 ploye! two other Phantoms, the Defire and Necef- 
 lity of others. Thofe brought Mete rials conver- 
 tible into Gold, whilft the others caufing them to 
 undergo many Changes, at length made them Ster- 
 'ling. 
 
 CHAP. 
 
[ 75 ] 
 
 CHAP. XL 
 
 Containing an Account of the Author's ham' 
 mer'mg out a Toem. The Toem. SaftufF'j 
 Form and Mantle. The Author and TckbrfFj 
 Efiape thence y with their Arrival at a 
 ff range Country. An amazing Sight : The 
 Re a fin of it) with the Manner of their lear- 
 ning their Language. Their Appearing be- 
 fore thg King ; and their being made Correc- 
 tors-General to the Book of Fame. 
 
 IN the next Place SaBuff led us to fee his Men 
 at Work, (whole Manner of working I have al- 
 ready defcrib'd,) and complied with a llequeft of 
 mine, in fuffering me to hammer out a Poem. In 
 order to this I wrote the Letters of the Englifo Al- 
 phabet upon Pieces of Paper, as above, and then 
 proceeded to down rightHammeiing : After ibme little 
 Labour I collected the followingPoem, which I here 
 let down with the Alteration of but two Words 
 lince it left the Moon. When I had made the 
 Poem I hammered for a Title, and could find no 
 other than that which is perfixed to it. The ma- 
 king of the Poem had like to prove the Caufe 
 of my Confinement, fince it made SaBuff conceive 
 too well of my Ability, to become ferviceable to 
 him. 
 
 RODO MO NT ADO BE MBUZ. 
 
 HTHE happy Pa-Gods of the gloomy Seas^ 
 
 Shall make the World ri hh Taratantara blaze, 
 When Indian Virehoh fends us Durnplins home, 
 And ivond'rous Woodcocks have /org ot to roam. 
 
 K 2 Tht 
 
[ 7* ] 
 
 7he Britifli Widows in the Indian Trees, 
 With H.iirs diflevell'd dauggling on their Knees : 
 In magick Noife behold the glimmering Froth, 
 And in my Pockets Pitchers full of Broth. 
 'The f wearing Dewlap of the fnowy Herd, 
 And Pigs fweet finging with a downy Beard : 
 But now behold what's done beneath the Main, 
 Theftarry Tritons, and the gilded Bean ; 
 While thund'rmg Pifmires cleg the fable Brain, 
 And wond'ring Echoes tumble o'er the Plain. 
 In lolling Numbers I ft) all ne'er begin 
 To tell the Prowefs of a lighted Gin. 
 Thus Keckerman and Crakanthorpjw^f to die, 
 And Peter Fiskifbn flail ceafe to fly : 
 Well echo Murmurs with a Hunting Horn-, 
 Andflartle all the Children yet unborn : 
 Of Shoeing-Hnrns I'll Jing the Praife, 
 And on their Afles Pyramids will raife : 
 Nor fquabbling Papifts, or the frighted Moor, 
 Shall e'er make Derby pifs behind the Door. 
 The Deeds of Atlas, or fome pretty Swain, 
 Are now, alas ! alas ! they're all in vain ! 
 In H emlock Rays, fllfwagger to the Sky, 
 And make the Whirlwinds in fweet Numbers fly : 
 While groveling Criticks wallow in the Mire, 
 I'll foar alojt to tune my warbling Lyre. 
 
 When I had finifh'd this Poem, I fhew'd and ex- 
 plain'd it to Snttuff; who immediately ofTer'd me a 
 confklerable Penfibn to atTift him in his Work. I 
 did not pofitively refufe him, but begg'd a little 
 Time to consider of it. We remain'd in this Cave 
 fixteen Days ; during which Time wc had good En- 
 tertainment as the Place afforded ; and we were 
 conftantly confidering how we fhould cfcape. Af- 
 ter Satluff had told us that he was pleas'd with our 
 Company, one Time, when we were all cheerfully 
 converflng, I took Occafion to ask him fome Ques- 
 tions 
 
C 77 ] 
 tions about his ftrange Form. He told me, that at 
 his Birth he was unlike other Children- but could 
 never aliign any Caufe for it, other than fbme ftrange 
 Conceits, and Mifmanagement of his Mother, while 
 he was in her Womb. I do not, faid he, repine 
 at mine uncommon Form, well knowing that my 
 Body fhould be the leaft of my Concern, fince my 
 Deformity cannot hinder the Operations of my 
 Mind. Whenfoever, indeed, I appear abroad, I 
 cover mjrfelf clofe with this Mantle, which was 
 very wonderfully made : It was made by my Ma£ 
 ter of a Salt Wave, artfully dried in Smoke : He 
 firft infus'd a coagulating Liquor into it, and then 
 fpread it'iipon a Frame till it became dry, and 
 afterwards he-painted it. 
 
 It was now almoft Time to betake ourfelves to 
 Reft, when Icall'd Tckbrfi afide, and propos'd to him 
 a Method of efcaping. 1 had before enquir'd of fbme 
 of the Servants where the Chimney open'd itfclf - 
 and was told, that about a League thence it open'd 
 into a Cave, but was impailable, on account of the 
 Smoke and craggy Rock that furroandei it: Yet I 
 believ'd that if we afcended when the Fire was 
 out, we might, with fome Difficulty, efcape. Ttkbrff 
 was of my Opinion, and willed inftantly to fet a- 
 bout it •, but the old Mathematician would by no 
 Means venture himfelf into it- fot, faid he, t can 
 perceive near the Mouth of it a great many acute 
 Angles, which my Flefh has a natural Averiion to. 
 However, fince you are reiblv'd to venture, I will 
 keep them from lighting a Fire as long as I can, 
 and wiih you Succels. 
 
 When we had taken our Leave of him, he re- 
 tir'd to his Bed, and left us waiting till we fhould 
 think they were all afleep, at which Time, when it 
 came, we refoluttly attended. We had not got 
 far when we were minded to go down again ; and 
 certainly would, had we not perceived our PalTage 
 
 to 
 
[ 7« ] 
 
 to grow kfs fteep. Never did Knight in enchanted 
 Cattle fufYer more than we did in palling through 
 this gloomy Labyrinth j our Cloaths and Skins 
 were much torn, and our Mentha filled with Soot. 
 When we had climb'd about a Mile, our Paffage 
 became more eafy, which encouraged us to pro- 
 ceed, till after much Toil and Vexation we law 
 the Light, and could walk upright • we were then 
 within iifty Yards of the Mouth of the Cave, which 
 was very large, andopen'd into a pleafant Field. 
 
 We were no (ooner come out, than we return'd 
 God Thanks for our Delivery, and wafh'd our- 
 felves in a River that was near$ then we laid 
 down to refrefh ourfelves in the FieM, before 
 we went any farther, and confultcd upon, Mea- 
 fiires to be taken in this ftrange Place. We had 
 fcarce fat down, when a vail Quantity of Smoke 
 ilTued out of the Cave : We fuppos'd that Sactuff 
 had caus'd a larger Fire than ufual to be made, in 
 order to ftifle us in our Flight : But if that was his 
 Defign, it was fiuftrated. After we had refted a 
 while, we role, and made towards a Town that was 
 not very far thence. 
 
 In our Way thither, we met with an amazing 
 Sight, a Field full of little Children, with their 
 Heads juft above Ground : I was mov'd with Hor- 
 ror, when I law them to be too young to deferve fb 
 fevere a Punifnment, as I thought that was. How- 
 ever, we went on till we came to an Houfe fituate 
 at one End of the Town : We went in, the Door 
 being open ^ but could fee no Body ^ befides, we 
 could fee no Locks on any Door, but every Thing 
 expos'd : We fear'd to meddle with any Thing, left, 
 being caught in the Fact, we fhould be impal'd a- 
 live^ for we had form'd ftrange Notions of this 
 People's Cruelty. W r e left this Houfe, and went to 
 another :, where we found the Inhabitants within, 
 who receiv'd us with pleafant Looks, and caus'd us 
 
 to 
 
[ 79 ] 
 to fit down •, but what they laid we were not able 
 to underftand ^ yet we fuipecled Treachery to be 
 couch'd under this Civility. That Night we were 
 well entertain'd ^ and the next Morning feveral Fo- 
 reigners were brought before us, to find out one 
 that could underftand us : Such a one at length we 
 found, who interpreted to the Hearers what we faid, 
 as well as gave us to underftand that the People 
 were kindly affected towards us. Our chief Con- 
 cern was next to learn their Language, that we 
 might be able to converfe with them, and find out 
 their Manner of Living. 
 
 It was our good Fortune to have fbme of the Mo- 
 ney of £/?ffff.about us, with which we hir'd a Per- 
 fbn to inftruct aa in the Language. His Method, 
 tho' uncommon, prov'd fiiccefsful; for in feventeen 
 Days Time we became perfect Mafters of their Lan- 
 guage : He caus'd us to wear every Night Paper 
 Caps upon our Heads, clofely fhaved, and on the 
 inner Side of thofe Caps was wrote part of their 
 Language. He then gave us a Potion to make us fleep 
 foundly, and fweat $ by which Means, when we 
 awoke the next Day, we underftood every Thing 
 that was wrote on our Night-Caps. 
 
 For when the Pores of our Heads were open in 
 fweat ing, the Spirit of the AVords was attracted 
 by the Brain, in which it was embrae'd by the Soul, 
 which every Body allows to have a Thirft after 
 Knowledge. That Words have a Spirit, is plain from 
 the wonderful Effects which they produce, which 
 the dead Letter would never be able to perform. 
 Thus by fleeping with the Language about our 
 Heads, we fbon underftood it. 
 
 When we were capable of converging, we found 
 that we were not to bemaintain'd always at others 
 Expence ; but if we defign'd to live among them, 
 we muft prove uleflil to the publick. To this End 
 we confulted, growing fufpicicus that their Favours 
 
 would 
 
[ So ] 
 
 would fhortly ceafe, when we had told them of all 
 our Adventures that were pleaflng to them j for 
 the People were of an itching Temper, fond of 
 Novelty, and quickly cloy 'd with their choicer!: De- 
 lights. They liv'd under a wife King, that pre- 
 ferr'd their Safety before his own • and murmur'd at 
 all his Proceedings, when they were not fully fatif- 
 fied of every Thing that indue'd him to take any 
 Mcafurcs f )r their Welfare h tho' they knew him 
 oblig'd by all Ties, divine and human, as wil- 
 ling alfb, to provide for their Happincfs and Secu- 
 rity. 
 
 Now that we were able to converfe with them, 
 I enquired i nto the Meaning of that S^it of young 
 Children, which we had Veen ao''*ve came to this 
 Place ; and was told, that many eminent Politicians, 
 from nice Experiments and Observations made up- 
 on the Body Politick, had infallibly predicted a 
 great Diftemper in it, which wou'd require a more 
 than ordinary EtruiTon of Blood, in order to cure 
 it : To this End, Orders were given for fowing 
 two thoufand Acres with Men, which fhou'd be 
 ready to bleed when Occafion requir'd. Be/ides, 
 this way of producing them was much more fpee- 
 dy, than that of being born of a Woman. They 
 had a certain Plant growing among them, of whole 
 Berries, laid in Hot-Beds, Children were thus formed. 
 
 But as I faid before, beginning to be tired of 
 our Depend a nee upon thole whom we thought un- 
 ivilling longer to maintain us, we went directly to 
 the Kin.% and offer'd him our Service as Soldiers, 
 and Peribns whom Experience had confirm'd in 
 many Things ufefil to a Common-wealth: We were 
 well receiv'd, and upon Examination anfwering 
 fome Quefticns, were fettled into fbme Places 
 which we could manage, with a Promife of Pre- 
 ferment if we rightly behav'd. 
 
 The 
 
[ 8i J 
 
 The Place affign'd me, was to be Corrector-Ge- 
 neral of the Book of Fame, which was cleliver'd to 
 me. In it I fet down every Report that was fpread j 
 and by comparing the different Accounts that were 
 given, I form'd fome ftated Opinion, which every 
 one was oblig'd to aflent to, under the Penalty of 
 having fome very fcandalous Report divulg'd and 
 confirm'd upon them. 
 
 The Dengn of this Office was to prevent the 
 Lois of Time in ufelefs Speculations on their Neigh- 
 bours Actions, as well as to reftrain a licentious 
 way of {peaking of others, which had been the 
 Caufe of many Difturbances. Now whenloever I 
 declared on any Story, if it was but fome trivial 
 Matter, remitted fuch Circumftances as might not 
 be favourably ^-"ierftood by all that heard them ; 
 hy which means, in a little Time, the People 
 made Allowances for the Infirmities they wereiiib- 
 ject to, and began to cherifh a biotherly Love a- 
 mong them. 
 
 I publifh'd among, them, a Multiplication Ta- 
 ble, by which they might be capable of difcerning 
 the Growth of any Story, and difcover in what 
 lort of Minds it acquir'd any Thing I laid down 
 alfo fomeRulcs for diftuigcifhing the fimple Reports 
 from the compourtd ^ as alfo for being acquainted 
 with the arithmetical ProgreHion of a Tale, and 
 diicovering its Age by its Size and Complexion. 
 As oft as any noted Piece of Viilany was laid be- 
 fore me, I publifh'd it with all the aggravating 
 Circumftances that fhou'd deter others from the like 
 Practice 5 yet this, however ufeful, had like to have 
 been my Ruin, as fhall be told in its proper Place. 
 
 Tckbrff was my Afliftant in ray Office, andihar'd 
 with me both in the Trouble and Peniion. We 
 liv'd in this Manner for the Space of two Years -, 
 and when we were at Lcifure, we fpent our Time in 
 obferving the Behaviour of the People. 
 
 L CHAP. 
 
[ S2 ] 
 
 CHAP. XIL 
 
 Containing an Account of the People. The Au- 
 thor's and TckbrfPj Banishment. The Au- 
 thor alone prepares to return to the Earth : 
 The Manner of his coming. His Arrival at 
 the Land of 'Parrots : Their Kindnefs to 
 him. He deflroys fome of their Enemies. 
 In return, they lend their AJJifance to fit 
 him on the Coafi of Guinea ; whence he faiPd 
 to London. 
 
 TH E Generality of them were kind and af- 
 fectionate to each other, which produe'd in 
 them an Opcnnefs of living, whereby they held all 
 Things almoft in common. When they went a- 
 broad, they left their Houlcs open, and knew not 
 what a Lock was. It was uTual with them to afc 
 lift each other in their private Concerns, without 
 the Expectation of any Reward, other than the 
 like Kindnefs, if requilite. In their Marriages they 
 never us'd any tedious Courtfhips j but when a 
 Woman was marriagable, her neareft Friend ad- 
 vertis'd it, with her good and bad Qualities, if 
 fhe had any, and invited Perfons to come and 
 treat with them about her, that fo if their Incli- 
 nations were the fame, they might fpeedily be 
 join'd. Upon the Deceaieof an Husband, the Wife, 
 if inclin'd to Marriage, hung cut a plain Black 
 
 ;, to iignify her Refolution to have a lecond 
 Husband. Sometimes a Widow wou'd hang out a 
 
 : - Flag;, with a Death's Head in the Middle of 
 it, thereby declaring her Averfion to Marriage 3 as 
 
 by 
 
C 83 3 
 
 by the fame Anns Pyrates declare their Enmity to 
 Mankind. 
 
 Here, again, I believed that I was fettled f >r 
 Life 5 but I foon found my Miftakc, and happi- 
 ly found out Means to return to the Earth. The 
 Occafion of my leaving them was this -.There was 
 brought before us one Day an A ccount of a cer- 
 tain Nobleman, who, by a bafe and underhand 
 Dealing, had drawn off man)' - of the King's Sub- 
 jects from their Allegiance : This was confirmed to 
 us by fbme whom he had corrupted. I immedi- 
 ately enter'd it, and publifhed his Crime, with 
 fome Contiderations upon Rebellion, which ren- 
 der'd theTi odious to the People. As loon as this 
 was publicises found out thole who had turned a- 
 gainir. him, and, oy Promifes of Security and Bribes, 
 caus'd them publickly to recant, and, further, to 
 declare that we, out of Malice to the Nobleman, 
 had hired them to accufe him. All that we could 
 fay could not clear us-, for the King believed our 
 Accufers honeft, and fentene'd us, within twenty 
 l^ays to depart from his Dominions. 
 
 TcLbrff propofed to return to Qjtqns \ but I fa id 
 we had not Money fufficient to bear our Charges 
 thither, lir.ee we would be obliged, on Account 
 of fome vaft Mountains, to go round-about a great 
 Part of the Moon, to arrive at it. What (laid he) 
 will you then remain here to be put to Death ? 
 I anfwer'd, that I had form'd a Delign of attempt- 
 ing a Return to the Earth, and would be exceed - 
 ding happy if he would bear me Company thither. 
 He replied, that it feein'd to hitn impracticable : 
 Befides, if it fhould iuccecd, he would not defire 
 to live among fuch Inhabitants of it, as I had dc- 
 fcribed to him ; yet, fince we muft part, faid he, I 
 will alii ft you, if I can, while I ftay here : B it 
 furely you don't intend to truft to a Whirl-Wind 
 a fecond Time ? I confefs'd that I did not like 
 L 2 
 
[ «4] 
 
 fuch Travelling, but intended to go thither after 
 the following Manner. 
 
 We already know, laid I, the Height 'of the 
 Moon's A v, and know how Gun-Powder will 
 
 raife a Ball of any Weight to any Height : Now 
 I defign to place myfelf in the Middle of ten 
 wooden VeiTels, placed one within another, with the 
 Outermoft ftrongly hooped with Iron, to prevent 
 its breaking. This I will place over 7000 Bar- 
 rels of Powder, which I know will raife me to the 
 Top of the Atmofphsre. I fhould here obferve,that 
 there were feveral Mountains out of which they 
 dug Gun-Powder, which was made fit for ufe, as 
 Salt is on the Earth, by expofing it to the in- 
 tenle Heat of the Sun in fome Parts *\at are ve- 
 ry near the Equator. The MounUins were called 
 fjefwbthfa, or the Devil's Warts. But before I 
 blow myfelf up, I'll provide myfelf with a large 
 Pair of Wings, which I will faftcn to my Arms 
 in my Refting-PJace- by the Help of which I will 
 fly down to the Earth. 
 
 Here he objected that both the VcfTels and I 
 would be fet on Eire. To this I anfwered, that 
 I had a Remedy to prevent that $ for, faid I, be- 
 tween the VeiTels I will pour a Quantity of Wa- 
 ter, which will prevent the burning any but the 
 Outermoft, by boring Holes in the Sides of all the 
 Innermoft, excepting that in which I ftand,thro* 
 which the Water may freely pais to quench the 
 Cuter, which, I believe, will be iir'd; that which 
 is in the Middle fhall have no Holes in it, that 
 fo the Water may not come near me : The upper 
 Part of my Tubs I will cover with two Plates of Tin, 
 between which I will place a Quantity of wet Sand to 
 prevent the lowermoft Plate from fetting the Wood 
 on Fire: This Cover fhall be faflned by me on the 
 Infide, fo as that I can throw.it off when I think 
 that I am got out of the Smcak. I'll fupply the 
 
 Want 
 
[ 8y ] 
 
 "Want of frcm Air by fbme Bottles of animal Spirits; 
 and will prevent theVeflels from touching each other, 
 by placing Pieces of Lead between the Sides and 
 Bottoms, which upon the Approach of the Fire, will 
 melt and fall off before they can do any Harm. I 
 believe that my Motion will be pretty iwifr- but I 
 am ufed to travel Poll:, and by this Time can bear 
 to be hurried. I provide my felf with Wings, to 
 prevent my too rapid Fall to the Farth ^ for I be- 
 lieve, were I not thus provided, I mould not efcape 
 lb well as I did in my Fall to thQ Moon. 
 
 Tckbvff laid, that the Defign, though rendered a 
 little feasible, might not fucceed, and many unfore- 
 feen Accidents might caufe it to mifcarry. As to that, 
 faid I, iii^uft rely upon Providence, which I hope 
 will fend me w ^:h News to my Countrymen, whole 
 Ingenuity may, in Time, find out a more eafy Me- 
 thod of maintaining a Correfpon deuce with other 
 Planetary Inhabitants. 
 
 Immediately I let about preparing for my Depar- 
 ture, and in about a "Week's Time had all Things 
 ready for it. The Morning before I was blown up, 
 I took my Leave nf Tikbrff, and my other Friends, 
 with the utmoft Regret. He presented me with a 
 Tobacco-Stopper ^ and in return, I gave him an bifb 
 Bottle-Skrew. He would not be a Spectator of my 
 leaving 'em, for he could not believe that I would 
 furvive it. 
 
 In moit there was an Hole dug in the Earth for 
 the Powder, and a Train laid of about a Mile long. 
 AVhen I enter'd my Tubs, as foon as I faw the Fire 
 approaching me, I covered my fclf, and in a lhort 
 Time was carried with great Rapidity fir out of 
 Sight ^ and with the Lofs of mine outer Tub, I ar- 
 riv'd fafe between the Atmofpherm of the Earth and 
 Moon ^ where I fat a while to refrefti myfelf, and 
 tie on my Wings for the Remainder of my Jour- 
 ney. 
 
 "While 
 
[8«] 
 
 While I was fitting here, there came a Flock of 
 Woodcocks from the Moon, and alighted on my Tubs, 
 where after having refted a while, they made to- 
 wards the Earth. It was of great Ufe to me to ob- 
 ferve their Flight ; for they being acquainted with 
 the beft Roads, were a Guide to me: The}' did not 
 fly directly down, but going before the Wind, de- 
 fended obliquelj r , to prevent, as I fuppofe, their 
 being hurried down. I placed my Feet againft my 
 Tubs, and made after them. I could not keep up 
 with them, fb that in a little Time I loft Sight of 
 them. 
 
 I flew very pleafantly, till I chanced to come to 
 the Southern Parts of Africk, where I had like to be 
 knock'd down with the Top of an high T.iountain, 
 as the Earth was revolving; but I diely perceiv'd 
 it, and got over the Ethiopick Ocean. In that I durft 
 not alight, but flying more to the South y I alighted 
 on a pleafant Country, fituate in Terra Aujlralis in- 
 cvgnita, where in a delightful Grove I fell afleep, 
 being much tired with my flying, and almoftroafted 
 with the Sun. I know not how long I flept, bnt I 
 was awaken'd by a Number of Parrots that were fit- 
 ting in Trees about me. When I began to ftir, they 
 made a great Noife, and feem'd to be afraid of 
 me, I believe, on Account of my Wings and Size. 
 I then took but little Notice of them, but went to 
 the Top of a Mountain, in order to look out for ibme 
 Town, to which I might refort ; but feeing none, I 
 could not tell what would become of me. The Par- 
 rots ftill followed me, and by Degrees became leis 
 afraid of me ; for I fuddenly laid hold on one of 
 them 5 upon which the reft made a prodigious Noife ; 
 but when they perceived that I ufed it very gently, 
 and let it go again, they came about me in great 
 Numbers. 
 
 As a Return for my civil Treatment, they called 
 to me by the Name Crammrick, and went before to a 
 
 Cave 
 
[ 8 7 ] 
 
 Cave where they repofited their Winters Store, 
 which confifted in Abundance of different Sorts of 
 fine Fruits, which were laid upon broad dry Leaves 
 fpread over a Mofs. One of them prefented me 
 with a Bunch of Raiflns, and another with fome 
 other choice Fruits, till I had eaten plentifully; This 
 was my daily Entertainment for many Days, till I 
 one Day found by chance a kind of Grain, not un- 
 like Peafe, which I dried, and pounding it between 
 two Stones, I mixed it with Water, then I moulded 
 it into a thin Cake, and bak'd it in the Sun. This I 
 ufed for Bread, neither was it unpleafant, and eat 
 it with the Flefh of fome fmall Animals common 
 among them, after I had dried it by the Sun. Af- 
 ter ever^.Meal I made, I had a Collation of fine 
 Fruit brought*:, -v and might have lived entirely 
 upon it, had I not feared that it would not agree 
 well with my Conftitution, and perhaps breed a Fa- 
 mine among thofe that were fo kind to me. 
 
 By Degrees I came to know the Names of feveral 
 Things in their Language, and could falute thofe 
 that I met, and in a little Time was able to con- 
 verfe with them. The only Fault that I could find 
 with them, was, that the)'' were too talkative, like 
 "Women, conftantly asking impertinent Queftions.. 
 They lived under a Monarchial Government, and 
 obferved a lineal Succeffion. They had certain Fef 
 tivals in Honour of their King, which they celebra- 
 ted by regular Flights in the Air, and Songs in the 
 Praife of their Monarch • but thofe Feftivals were 
 attended generally with a great Slaughter of them, 
 cccafTon'd by fome Birds of Prey that ufed to watch 
 this Opportunity todeftroy them, and plunder their 
 Fruits. They complained to me of this Calamity, 
 and asked if I could provide a Remedy againft it. 
 I asked in what Manner they attack'd them 5 and 
 was told, that they nurfuedthem whitherfoever they 
 
 fled, 
 
[ 8S ] 
 
 fled; till they were tired of deftroying thzm-, and 
 then t! t to their Store to plunder it. 
 
 Ipromis'd my Ailifhnce • and accordingly, when 
 the Feftival v le, 1 cover 'd my Face and 
 
 Head with a Cap made of ftrong Bark, only I 
 left Holes in it for my Mouth and Eyes, and pla- 
 ced myfdfwith a Club in my Hand by the Store. 
 The Birds of Preyarriv'd, and after a great Fight 
 went to viiit the ..tore: The)'' did not come all 
 st once, but in final) Companies ; moft of which 
 I defrroy'd, though they made what Refiftance 
 they could, and the reft fled away. I number'd 
 near an Hundred that 1 had kill'd, to the great 
 Joy of the Parrots, who {pent the Remainder of the 
 Day in p railing me for the Victory, and prrmering me 
 their Service in anything they wtvfe 1 -able to per- 
 form. I thank'd them, and promis'd to make u(e 
 of their Ailiftance in going to mine own Country 5 
 which they, withfbme Rekmftance to part with me, 
 at length confented to: 
 
 I firii: with {harp Flints, and a Knife which I hid 
 ly Pocket, cut down as many {mall Trees, as I, 
 with much Labour and D fHcalty, made a pretty 
 large Boat of, not unlike thofe made ufe of in the 
 North of Ireland, Owe that it was not covered with 
 Skins, inftead of which I made ufe of Gum, of 
 which there was great Plenty, with winch I daub'd 
 it all over, fo that it would keep out the Water, 
 and bear me without Danger. When this was fi- 
 nifh'd, I twiftcd as many i'v.igs together as ferv'd 
 me inftead of feveral Ropes: Theiel fattened to- 
 thc Stem of my Boat, and begg'd of th^ King, that 
 lie would lend me as many of his Subjects as would 
 be able to draw my Boat to the neareft Country 
 that was inhabited by Men. 
 
 At length lie comply 'd, and allow'd us a fuffi- 
 cient Quantity of Provifion for our Voyage. We 
 put off early in the Morning, after Abundance of 
 
 Ceremony 
 
[ §9 ] 
 
 Ceremony at our parting. The Birds which came 
 along with me, took hold of the Tv/igs fattened 
 at the Stem of the Boat • and being many in Num- 
 ber, in fixty Days Time we got fafe into the Trade- 
 Winds, which in feventeen Days more drove us on 
 the Coaft of Guinea. The Birds would not come 
 afhore with me, but left me pretty near it, fb that 
 I did fwim out, while they carried my Cloaths and 
 Wings, and dropp'd them down to me, but would 
 not alight: They went back again to the Boat, 
 where, after a moderate Repaft, they went away. 
 
 There was lb great a Number of them, that they 
 reliev'd each other very often, and fail'd with lit- 
 tle Troutn * 
 
 When I was ..:iiv'd at Guinea, I fought for Eng- 
 Ujb Merchants, and found a very civil Gentleman, 
 one Mr. Jacob Broome, who hir'd me for a Sailor 
 towards England: But I rather liv'd like a Paf- 
 fenger than a common Sailor- for Mr. Eroomewzs 
 fb taken with my Adventures, that he exempted 
 me from the Office of a common Sailor, and made 
 me his Companion, while I gave him an Account 
 of my Travels. 
 
 Our Voyage was very eafy ; for we met with but 
 one fmall Storm, and were chas'd for a Day by an 
 Algerine. In our Road home I faw the Peak of Te- 
 neriffs, which brought many Things into my Mind, 
 which griev'd me in the fuffering, but pleas'd me 
 in the remembering of them. Thence we faii'J 
 to London, and on the i 2th of September, 1720. land- 
 ed there. My Mailer furniiri'd me with what Mo- 
 ney bore my Charges to Dublin, uponpromii :g that 
 I would publifh mine Adventures. I arriv d at 
 Dublin the 27th of the fame Month, where I was 
 inform'd that my Friends were remov'd to the 
 Narth of Ireland'. Thither I follow'd them, being 
 fufriciently tir'd with Rambling •, and there I re- 
 fblve to ipend the Remainder of my Days in, 
 
 M Quiet 
 
C 9° ] 
 
 Quiet, if Fortune has not fome unforefeen Trouble 
 in Store for me. • 
 
 Thus in the Space of two Years, three Months, 
 ity one Days, I view'd a great Part both of the 
 Earth and ?vl(xm: There are few, I believe, wculd 
 run the Rifque that I did, though they may be de- 
 firous of feeing what I faw-, for a Whirlwnd is not 
 the eafrefl: Vehicle ^ and being blow'd up, it but lit- 
 tle better. If I have faid any Thing to difpleafe 
 the Ladies, let them go on to drink Tea, and kill 
 themfelves out of Spight: If the Beaux are angry, 
 I care not •, and the Criticks may go hang them- 
 felves, e're they fhall vex me : Beildes, Jet them 
 all conflder, that what is here lpoken i^fo r the Inha- 
 bitants of the Moon. Well-meani'ng Perfons I cf- 
 teem, and to their Cenfure I wholly fubmit, who, 
 lam perfuaded, will not expect the greaten 1 Exact- 
 nefs, and much Rhetorick, from a Sailor, ftudious 
 to deliver the Truth. 
 
 The End of the First Part. 
 
 THE 
 
THE 
 
 DEDICATION. 
 
 T O T H E 
 
 Worthy, Daring, Adventurous, 
 Thrice-renown'd, and Victo- 
 rious Captain Lemuel Gul- 
 liver. 
 
 HALL a Poet find a Pa- 
 trow, and not a Lunatick ? 
 Let it not be faid, Gullivers 
 alive, or the Laputians had 
 e 're now cruuYd us, by co- 
 ming down to mourn him ; yet his Lui- 
 tre dazzles; he cannot be conceal'd: His 
 Fame rings loudly in the Moon : Tj 
 Clods of Earth I tell it. 
 
 U 2 Thee 
 
The Dedication. 
 
 Thee, Gulliver, I ftile moft worthy ; 
 and as I believe thee averfe to Flattery, 
 as free from Pride, I am perfuaded that 
 you will not be offended at a Dedication 
 in the Rear, but approve of, and ac- 
 cept, if what goes before be worth your 
 Notice: Accept it according to your 
 wonted Candour, and believe me to be, 
 
 With all due Refpecl, 
 
 Tour mofi Devoted 
 
 Humble Servant, 
 
 Murtagh Mc. Dermot. 
 
 THE 
 
THE 
 
 CONTENTS. 
 
 HAP. I. Containing an Account 
 of the Author's 'Deflign to Travel. 
 His going to Sea. His Arrival at 
 Teneriffe. His Afient to the Peak. 
 tits being taken up by a Whirl- 
 wind.. The Manner of his Journey to- 
 wards the Moon. Some Reflections made by 
 The Way. His Arrival at the Moon ; and 
 what happen' d thereupon. Page 5* 
 
 HAP. II. Containing an Account of 
 the 'People's Care of him. His Surprize 
 upon his Recovery. His Manner of learn- 
 ing their Language i n a Night's Time ; with 
 an Account for it. n 
 
 HAP. III. Containing an Account of 
 his being fent for by the Ki;rr. His *Dif- 
 courfe with Tekbrff about the King. His 
 Manner of approaching him. Some Obfer- 
 vations on his Courtiers. His Approach to 
 him. His efcapiug being put to Death. 
 And what T>ifcourfe he had with Tekbrff 
 about the People of his own Country, and 
 the People of the Moon. r 6 
 
 3 H A P. IV. Containing an Account of 
 their TUfcourfe about an Amour between 
 
 Frib- 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 Fribbigghe and BlmmiL Their Characters. 
 He turns FribbiggheV/S/zw/. Makes aSpeech 
 to Blmmfl. Fribbigghe is difcarded. Pag. 24 
 
 CHAP. V. Containing an Account of 
 Blmmfl \r inviting him to drink Tea with 
 her. A Thilofophical Account of the Effects 
 of Tea ; with its fir ft Rife. His 'Depar- 
 ture from Blmmfl- and his ^Ofage towards 
 Fribbrigghe. 50 
 
 CHAP. VI. Containing an Account of his 
 Obfervations on the Cuftoms , Manners , 
 and Religion j of the People of the Moon. 3 5- 
 
 CHAP. VII. Containing an Ac* , ant of his 
 going to a Coffee-Houfe ; woat he ob fervid 
 and heard there. His Defign to go to a 
 Play-Houfe. An Account of what TckbrtT 
 faid to him before they went thither ; what 
 he obferv'd and heard there \ with a natu- 
 ral Account for a Mans becoming a Critic k. 
 
 AS 
 CHAP. VIII. Containing an Account of his 
 
 T)ream : Its Extravagance accounted for. 
 
 His being awakened by People dancing ; with 
 
 fame Observations upon a Ball. 5 2 
 
 CHAP. IX. Containing an Account of 
 his Jailing under JVater : The Manner of 
 it. The Boat's splitting againft a Rock : 
 Their being receiv'd into a fubterraneous 
 Cavern : Their Reception. An Account of 
 mechanical Poetry: SactufFj Kindnefs to 
 them. 5 8 
 
 C H A P. X. Containing a brief Account of 
 Sa&ufFj- Life - 7 with the Manner of his com- 
 ing 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 ing there. Of his (hewing them his Rari- 
 ties, efpecially a Colour ', fubfifting without a 
 Body ; and the Philofipher's Stone ', with 
 fome Account of it. 6y 
 
 CHAP. XI. Containing an Account of 
 the Author's hammering out a Poem. The 
 Poem. SadurPj Form and Mantle. The 
 Author and TckbrfPj Efcape thence ; with 
 their Arrival at a fit ange Country. An a- 
 mazing Sight '. The Reafin of it : With the 
 Manner of their learning their Language. 
 Their appearing before the King ; and their 
 being madt Cwreclors-General to the Book of 
 Fame 7 5* 
 
 CHAP. XII. Containing an Account of 
 the People. The Author's and TckbrffV 
 Bauijhmeut. The Author alone prepares to 
 return to the Earth. The Manner of his 
 coming. His Arrival at the Land of Par- 
 rots : Their Kindnefs to him. He dejlroys 
 fome of their Enemies. In return^ they 
 lend their Ajfiftance to fet him on the Coafl 
 0/ Guinea; whence he failed to London. 82 
 
 Adver- 
 
Advei tifement. 
 
 * ■ 
 
 SI N C E I tfiought of making this Publick, 
 I met with an Account of Travelling in 
 PFhiflwinds^ not unlike my PaiTage into the 
 MOON, which is here inferted, taken from 
 T>ickfin\ NEWS-LETTE R, as/ollows : 
 
 Readings June 5*. 1717. 
 
 YEfterday a Whirlwind took up into the 
 Air, near ico Yards from the Ground, 
 four Hay-Cock^ in a Field near this Town, 
 each weighing 202 Pound, and carried them 
 to another Place half a Mile off. 
 
 N. B. Perhaps fome may imagine my be- 
 ing in the JV) O O N to be only a mere Dream; 
 but why one fhould not be as likely as the other, 
 I fhall leave it to the Judgment of the Rea- 
 der after he has read the Foregoing T R I'P, 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 *IC 
 
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