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"MAN IN THE MOON. I^ .Ji 
 
 L fiK)m my uncommon appearance^ 
 I have a large face, as you may be- 
 hold on the pavement before you ; 
 and although I have neither bodv 
 nor limb, I want not power nor 
 lumanity. The firft of thefe will 
 Me for your advantage : the fecond 
 \v have mentioned in order to quiet 
 
 ;^ihofe apprehenfions which are too 
 
 " afible in your countenance/ 
 
 ^ What art thou being without 
 Cody, faid the man of the people, 
 
 hat thus oppofefl my way? Your 
 ^ace is round, and you fpeak ore 
 
 Miindo, Have you ever, friend, been 
 >:n parliaments 
 
 poV: As to your firft queftion, I an- 
 to hi, that I am the man of the 
 
 B 3 moon; 
 
7L 
 
 f ^•^. 
 
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 DUKE 
 
 UNIVERSITY 
 
 LIBRARY 
 
 Treasure %oom 
 
 UTOPIA 
 
 Rec 
 
 
 iieir 
 
 une- 
 
 ■car 
 
 ysxx 
 
"MAN IN THE MOON. I^^ . y i 
 
 fix)m my uncommon appearance- 
 I have a large face, as you may be- 
 hold on the pavement before you ; 
 and although I have neither body 
 nor limb, I want not power nor 
 humanity. The firft of thefe will 
 be for your advantage : the fecond 
 I have mentioned in order to quiet 
 thofe apprehenfions which are too 
 viiible in your countenance/ 
 
 ^ What art thou being without 
 body, faid the man of the pf:opLE, 
 that thus oppofeft my way? Your 
 face is round, and you fpeak ore 
 rotundo. Have you ever, friend, been 
 in parliament P' 
 
 * As to your firft queftion, I an- 
 swer, that I am the man of the 
 B 3 moon; 
 
14 M A i: IN THE MOO N. 
 
 MOON' : as to the fecond, it refpe(5i:s 
 an idea that bears not any relation 
 to lunar politicks. In the mean time, 
 let us not wafte time in the gratifi- 
 cation of idle curiofity. You will find 
 that pafTion fufficiently excited and 
 gratified too before 1 leave you. 
 Delay not therefore one moment to 
 comply with my requeft. You fee 
 a large wart adorned with long hairs 
 towards the extremity of my nofe ; 
 let this be a refting-place in your 
 flight, and a fecurity in your fear. 
 The man of the moon is a very 
 honeft man : and I alFure you, upon 
 my word and honour, that I mean 
 to fet you down again upon this 
 terreftrial globe, a wifer, and better, 
 and confequently a happier man, 
 than you ever have been. It is true, 
 
 you 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. I5 
 
 you have been a very impru- 
 dent fellow ; and a fource of in- 
 numerable calamities to my favour- 
 ite ifle, upon whofe furrounding 
 waves I exert my influence with 
 peculiar fatisfa6tion ; Vv^hether for 
 the purpofes of commerce, or, by 
 means of favourable tides and cur- 
 rents, to carry the Britiili thunder, 
 in an happy hour, againft the ene- 
 mies of libei'ty and of man. But 
 your political eiTors have already 
 been, in fome meafure, atoned for 
 by continued poverty, difappoint- 
 ment, and mortificadon. Indeed 
 they were rather the faults of your 
 fituation, than of your intention. 
 For where is there a poor devil, 
 deftitute of houfe or home, but 
 would extricate himfelf, if he could, 
 B 4 from 
 
 236187 
 
1' 6 MAN IN THE MOON* 
 
 from want and contempt, even at 
 the expence of faction, civil com- 
 motion, infuiTCclion, and revoluti- 
 on ? Or, Charles, to fpeak in a lan- 
 guage familiar to your ears, who 
 that gets a bad hand at cards, but 
 would Vvifli to ihufile and cut them 
 over again ? You have naturally a 
 fund of good-humour and philan- 
 thropy, and alfo an excellent undcr- 
 flanding. The benevolence of your 
 difpolition merits fome refpite frprn 
 thofe inward torments which, under 
 that jolly appearance, have long 
 preyed upon your mind. The vi- 
 gour and extent of your capacity 
 will enable you to comprehend thofe 
 truths which I fhall difplay to your 
 yiew for your own benefit, and that 
 pf your country, and the whole 
 
 human 
 
II A N IN THE MOON. 17 
 
 human race. Get up therefore on 
 that corneous excrefcence which I 
 have already pointed out, and ac- 
 company me in my return to the 
 moon.' 
 
 ^ Truly, replied the man of tpie 
 PEOPLE, I can hardly be in a worfe 
 fituation than I am at prefent — fo I 
 comply with your requell. But 
 carry me foftly, if you pleafe, man of 
 
 THE MOON.' — 
 
 ' Don't fqueeze fo hard, Charles; 
 your bodily fear has overcome all 
 reafon. Open your eyes, friend 
 F — X, and have courage to look down 
 on the world: St. Paul's is already 
 no bigger than its weather-cock.' 
 
 * Excufe 
 
 O 
 
 ^ 
 
 36187 
 
jt MAN IN THE MOON. 
 
 * Excufe me. Sir, I am thinking 
 of an important affair.' 
 
 * Well, we fliall be at land in 
 the moon by and bye, if I can out- 
 fly that plane of eleclrical fire, that 
 purfues fo hard behind. For my own 
 part, I dread nought ; but for thee, 
 poor Charles, I confefs I am fome- 
 what concerned.' 
 
 The terror that had feized the 
 MAN OF THE PEOPLE now redoubled, 
 and he curfed the day of his birth. 
 * Other fmners, he exclaimed, are 
 puniflied on earth, in purgatory, or 
 in hell; but it was referved for me 
 to be tormented even in heaven. 
 What moved thee, O being, to whofe 
 nofe I now cling petrified with fear, 
 
 tQ 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. I9 
 
 to fcduce me, with all my fins and 
 frailties about me, into the regions 
 of eledricalfire? For affuredlyjif this 
 mortal and corrupt body of mine fiiall 
 be involved in that fiery plane, like 
 fome odious reptile thrown into a 
 flamino; furnace, it will, in the twink- 
 ling of an eye,burfl with a loud crack 
 and offenfiyefmell into non-exiflence. 
 Reflore me, O humane and powerful 
 MAN OF THE moon! to my uativc 
 earth ; fo fliall the cities of London 
 and Weftminfter gratefully rev/ard 
 you with an oaken box^ and the thanks 
 of the houfe of commons fhall dif^ 
 tinguifli your name among thepowers 
 of the fkies.' 
 
 But THE MAN OF THE MOON per- 
 
 ceiving that the god of thunder 
 Jiad fent out that eleftrical force, of 
 
 which 
 
20 MAN IN THE MOON. 
 
 which he had been fomcwhat afraid, 
 for a purpofe very different from the 
 defcruclion of the poor Man of the 
 People, amufed himfelf, on the re- 
 mainder of his journey, by indulg- 
 ing his facetious humour. 
 
 ^ Ch — s F — X, faid he, I would 
 willingly comply with thy requeft, 
 without the fmallcil view either to 
 the oaken box you mention, or to 
 the thanks of the houfe of commons, 
 if I were of opinion, that my com- 
 pliance would contribute in the lead 
 to your welf:U*e. But fhould I re- 
 ftore you with all your imperfections 
 and follies to the Britifh metropo- 
 lis, you would inevitably find your- 
 felf in the fame wretched fituation in 
 which you was when I perfuaded 
 
 you 
 
MAN IN THE MOOl?. 21 
 
 you to beftride the wart on my nofe. 
 you would ftill, I am afraid, be ' a 
 mifcrablc vagabond, without a fhil- 
 ling in your purfe ; the fport of 
 every pafiion, the ilave of every 
 Jew.' If, on the other hand, I 
 ihall be able to carry you through 
 thefe perilous regions fafely into the 
 moon, and, by the fage inftruflions 
 which you w^ill there receive, to era- 
 dicate your reigning pailions, views, 
 and habits, you will be no longer a 
 flave to aclrefTes, Jews, or popular 
 applaufe; but, on the contrary, a 
 FRx^.E MAN and a king '. However, 
 if I could be fatisfied, rhat you could 
 
 make 
 
 ' It mufl be obferved, in order to prevent 
 miHukes, that the Man of the Moon does not 
 mean, that Ch — F — x Hiould become king 
 
 of 
 
22 MAN IN THE MOON, 
 
 make a fliift to live with tolerable 
 comfort, without undergoing a tho- 
 rough repair, I don't know but I 
 might be prevailed on to return im- 
 mediately on my fteps, and to fet 
 you down where I found you.' 
 
 ' Why, truly, replied theman of 
 THE PEOPLE, at the time when you 
 heard the foliloquy which you have 
 juft quoted, I had drank too much 
 wine. It is true, I am frequently 
 in debt, and in difficulties ; but :in 
 avenue always opens by which I get 
 out of them. Beiides the lucky hits 
 I fometimes meet with at play, I re- 
 
 of England, or America, or even of VVeJlmin- 
 Jier; but that he fpeaks according to the ideas 
 and language too, of the noble philofophy of 
 the Scoicks. 
 
 ceive 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. 23 
 
 ceive douceurs now and then from 
 certain very worthy gentlemen, who 
 are afflicted with an itch of fpeaking 
 in the fenate^ but whom nature cer- 
 tainly never defigned for orators. 
 Thefe gentlemen are often expofed 
 to the wit as well as the arguments of 
 their adverfaries in debate ; and they 
 would be perfectly overwhelmed 
 with their own dulnefs and confu- 
 iion, if fome friend did not rife oc- 
 cafionally in fupport of what had 
 been advanced by them, and expa- 
 tiate on their independence, their 
 virtues, and even their abilities, 
 Many a valuable bank-note have I 
 received, for affiftance of this kind, 
 from a prefent fecretary of ftate \ 
 
 * It is fuppofed, that the Man of the Peo- 
 ple here alludes to Mr. Secretary T d. 
 
 My 
 
24 M A N I N T H E MOON. 
 
 My good friend admiral Kcppel, too, 
 has often ackowledged the grateful 
 favour of my pancgyricks, by means 
 of the expreilive though iilent elo- 
 quence of the golden efFigics of his 
 majefly's head. But what will, per- 
 liaps, appear extraordinay to an in- 
 habitant of another planet, there is 
 a fwine-herd ^ in parliament, to 
 whom I am more indebted than to 
 all the dull patriotic fpeakers put 
 together. The gratitude of that 
 fellow is unbounded. It is true, it 
 requires the utmoft efforts of my 
 genius to put a plaufible face on his 
 grofs flupidities, abfurdities, falfe 
 affertions, (I mean m'ljiakes) and 
 contradiclions ; and he was once, in 
 
 3 Probably Sir J h M y. 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. 2$ 
 
 particular, fo hard run by a humour- 
 on s Irifhman "^^ that not one word 
 had your moft obfequious paflenger 
 to urge in his defence. However, 
 I llarted up on my legs, and with 
 great vociferation bawled out, To 
 order^ To order : which the fwine-herd 
 took in very good part, as I under- 
 ftood, by a violent fqueeze of his 
 hand, as we came out of the Houfe, 
 on a divifion, amidft the crowd into 
 the lobby. On the whole, I am now 
 fo much reconciled to an extempo- 
 rary kind of life, by tlie power of 
 habic, that my precarious fubliilencc 
 very feldom gives me any uneaiinefs. 
 Befides, I am in great hopes that 
 our fleet v/ill Q;0 to the devil before 
 
 o 
 
 "^ The Editor iin!i<>inc3 tiiat the Man of the 
 People here alludes to Mr. Courtenay. 
 
 Vol. I. C Gibraltar. 
 
26 iM A N IN THE M O I*. 
 
 Gibraltar. A difafter of this kind 
 would raife fuch an alarm and dif- 
 coritent throughout Great-Britain, 
 as would in all probability commit 
 the whole revenues of the empire 
 into thofe identical hands, which at 
 prefent fo eagerly grafp thefe facred 
 hairs which fprout from the corne- 
 ous excrefcence, which I have now 
 the honour to prefs, on your moft 
 venerable nofe. By the bye, as you 
 have a power over tides and currents, 
 could you not give a favourable turn 
 to my affairs without all this trouble 
 of conducting me to the Moon ?* 
 
 The man of the moon pretended 
 to be greatly fhocked at this requeft. 
 He knit his brows into fo terrible a 
 frown, that the man of the people 
 
 fliook 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. 27 
 
 fhook for fear. His hands let go 
 the hairs on the wart to which he 
 clung, and he was in danger of fall- 
 ing headlong into the moon, when 
 his powerful and gracious conductor, 
 in commiferation both of his fears 
 and frailties, attracted him, by a 
 fecret power, fo ftrongly to his cor- 
 neous feat, that he fluck faft like a 
 crab embracing the fliarp point of 
 fome fubmarine rock, covered over 
 with the luxuriant vegetables of 
 the fea. 
 
 The reader will be apt to conclude 
 from what is here related concerning 
 the prefumptuous feliiihnefs of C — 
 F — , that he is a very bad man : that 
 the dark gloom v/hich fits on his 
 countenance is but a f^iint emblem 
 C 2 of 
 
2S MAN' IN TH":^ MOON'. 
 
 of the blackncfs of his heart and" 
 confcicnce : that he is a devil incar- 
 nate, let loofe from the infernal re- 
 gions, by incenfed Providence, for 
 the puniiliment of a guilty people. 
 But fhut your eyes, my good friend! 
 and enter with candour into your 
 own heart. You, Sir, who are un- 
 der the neceflity of felling out to- 
 morrow the greater part of your 
 flock in the funds, do you wifh to 
 hear, this evening, good news from 
 Gibraltar ' ? My lord bifliop ! That 
 inoffenilve and worthy perfonage, 
 the Archbifhop of Canterbury, lies 
 dangcrouily ill, and is excruciated 
 with the moil grievous pains : would 
 
 ^ It would feem that this was written in the 
 month of Odobcr, or in the beginning of 
 .November^ i"782.. 
 
 you 
 
MAN I N THE MOO N. 29 
 
 you forfeit all your hopes of fuc- 
 ceeding to the primacy, if by that 
 facrifice you could refiiore him to 
 perfect health ? Mod grave and noble 
 doclors in phyfic ! Which of you all 
 would prevent, if he could, by a 
 fecret volition, that muft remain 
 eternally unknown to the world, 
 the rife or progrefs of any epidemical 
 difeafe? When will the [gentlemen 
 of the long robe bend their eflbrts 
 toeftablilh harmony and peace among 
 contending neighbours ? Concealed 
 from every human eye, and without 
 all regard to the gratitude of indi- 
 viduals, or to the applaufe of the 
 VA'orld^ O reader! whofoever thou 
 art, what portion of thine ov/n cafe, 
 or pleafure, or fortune, or fame 
 wouldft thou fecretly and w^illingly 
 C 3 rcfign, 
 
3^ T\l A N I N T H E M O O N. 
 
 rcfign, in order to relieve private 
 diflrefs, or to fecure public profpe- 
 rity ? Pafs not, gentle reader, any 
 fevere cenfure on the author of thefe 
 queftions. 
 
 ** As Rochefaucault his mnxims drew 
 From nature, I believe them true ; 
 They argue no corrupted mind 
 
 In him : The fault is in mankind. 
 
 ^ — In all dillrefles of our friends 
 We firfl confult our private ends. 
 While nature, kindly bent to eafe us*. 
 Points out fome circumflance to pleafe us." 
 
 But while I confefs the extreme fel- 
 fiflinefs of human nature, and ac- 
 knowledge that a fmall grain of felf- 
 intereft over-balances for the moft 
 
 * Verfes on the death of Dr. Swiftj by the 
 Pean himfelf. 
 
 part. 
 
MAN IN THE MOON, 3I 
 
 part, the generous influence of focial 
 affeclion ; I admire that benevolent 
 wifdom, which fortifies the power 
 of fympathy by a complacency in 
 gratitude, and the love of praife : 
 thus, miniftring by the ftrongeft 
 impulfes of felf-love itfelf, to the 
 various exigencies of mankind. 
 
 Being apprehenfive that there 
 might be fome of my readers (for 
 there are men who read every thing 
 but their own hearts) who might 
 imagine that it is impoffible that any 
 man of common benevolence Ihould 
 be capable of fo much wickednefs 
 as is implied in the above-mentioned 
 requeft of Charles F — x, to the Man 
 of the Moon, I have made the pre- 
 fent digrefllon, in order to vindicate 
 C 4 the 
 
32 MAN IN THE M O N. 
 
 the truth and fidelity of this narra- 
 tive. And for the fame end, it is 
 neceffary that I fay a few words to 
 thofe who may think it incredible, 
 that a perfon oi fo much good fenfe 
 
 2>THE N'lAN OF THE PEOPLE, fhould 
 
 make fo Grange a requcft to the 
 Lunar Genius, even after that ce- 
 leftial being had expreifed a predi- 
 lection for the Britilli Ifles, in the 
 flrongeft language. 
 
 There is, in mankind, a difpoii- 
 tion to imagine that they are more 
 beloved and efteemed than they 
 really are. This propenfity is fo 
 ftrong, as is generally known in- 
 deed, in THE >TAN OF TIIE PEOPLE, 
 
 that it is in reality, one of the great- 
 eft, if not the very greateft of all 
 
 his 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. 33 
 
 his foibles. This foolifh conceit has 
 been the caufe of many misfortunes 
 to himfelf, and to his country. It 
 was this that made him quarrel with 
 Lord North in the Treafury. It 
 was this that prompted him to reiign, 
 on the moft frivolous pretences, his 
 late office of Secretary of State. 
 Through this wxaknefs he fondly 
 fancies that the people of Great- 
 Britain look up to him as to their 
 tutelar god : and this, ftill more than 
 his neceilities, is at the bottom of 
 all the noife, and buftie, and ilrife, 
 he occafions in the world. The 
 expreffions of regard and affecTdon 
 which had fallen from the man of 
 THE MOON, had perfuaded him that, 
 in order to gratify the fmallefl wifli 
 of his heart, he would not hefitatc 
 
 to 
 
34- MAN IN" THE MOON. 
 
 to wreck the whole Britilh navy on 
 the rocky coafts of Andalufia, or 
 bury it in the depths of the ocean. 
 
 The man of the moon having: 
 fufficlently teftified his difapprobatiou 
 of the liorrid wifh that had been 
 exprefled by the Englifh Patriot, 
 refumed his jocular ftrain. ' The 
 lightning gains upon us : I fear fome 
 difafter. I would willingly return 
 to the earth; but from the ftrong 
 attraction with which I feel myfelf 
 drawn to my own planet, I judge 
 that it will be fafeft to make direclly, 
 according to my firll intention, to 
 the Moon.' 
 
 ' Pulh on then, Sir, I befeech 
 you, and don't interrupt yourfelf 
 
 by 
 
M AN IN THE MOO N. 35 
 
 by any jfurther converfation : for I 
 proteft I was never at fo great a lofs 
 how to acquit myfelf either in com- 
 pany or debate : — I am almoft frantic 
 through fear. I doubt not^ Sir, but 
 you are a very honeft man : that, I 
 think. Sir, was your exprefiion ; 
 but you are alfo a terrible man. I 
 fliall never forget that frown, though 
 I Hve an hundred years. Willy Adam 
 with his dirk and piftol was a fmii- 
 ing infant, compared with the man 
 OF THE MOON, whcn he is angry. I 
 mufi; fet a guard on the door of my 
 lips, and be careful what I fay in 
 your prefence. But, good Sir ! if 
 an habit of intemperance in talking 
 fhall carry me into any Improper 
 difcourfe, have the generofity to 
 forgive it. In reality, 1 may be faid 
 
 to 
 
36 MAN IN THE MOON, 
 
 to have fucked in this habit with my 
 mother's milk. I fuppofc, indeed, 
 I have a natural difpofition to chat- 
 ter : but this was greatly increafed 
 and confirmed by the over-weening 
 fondnefs of my father, who would 
 fay, whatever was the fubjedl of 
 converfation, Charles, what is your 
 opinion ? Liften to Charles/ 
 
 ' Would not you acl with Lord 
 Shelburne, Charles, on condition of 
 being fet down again in Great-Bri- 
 tain ?' 
 
 * No queflions, I befeech you, 
 good Sir.' 
 
 ' C s F — X, prepare yourfelf 
 
 to difmount.' 
 
 ' Where, 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. ^f 
 
 « Where, Sir? In thefky?' 
 
 * No, Charles ; within a few mi- 
 nutes we fliall arrive at the lofty 
 ftimmit of the higheft mountain in- 
 the moon.' 
 
 The man of the people then- 
 adventured to lift up his eyes, and 
 beheld, at a fmall diftance, the lunar 
 orb, which feemed one mighty and' 
 immenfe colonnade, intended by the' 
 fovereign architect to fupport the 
 weight of the incumbent heavens.- 
 He had fcarcely caft his eyes on this* 
 glorious fpeclacle, v/hen he founds 
 himfelf Handing upright on the top 
 of a mountain, the higher part of 
 which was a folid rock of diamonds 
 The middle was covered over with 
 
 a ve2:e- 
 
 V 
 
38 M A N I N T H E M O O N. 
 
 a vesrecable mould, the foft bed of 
 innumerable plants and flowers, 
 whofe fragrance raviihed the fenfes 
 with inexpreflible delight, and ftrong- 
 ly difpofed to a fpecies of enjoyment 
 ftill more voluptuous. The lower 
 part of this mountain was adorned 
 with a vaft variety of trees and 
 flirubs producing the moll delicious 
 fruits. Among thefe the nectar. 
 SHRUB was diflinguiflied for the 
 beauty of its foliage, and the divine 
 odours which the powerful rays of 
 the fun exhaled from its leaves and 
 flowers. A river, clear as cryflal, 
 narrow indeed, but deep and rapid, 
 precipitated itfelf down the lide of 
 the mountain, forming here and 
 there, on the frequent iiielves that 
 divcrfiiied this enchanting furface, 
 
 limpid 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. 39 
 
 limpid pools which were filled with 
 what, in the lunar dialect, are called 
 
 THE FISFIES OF THE SUN ^, and 
 
 which ferved as fo many mirrors to 
 reflect and foften the brilliant picture 
 of which they formed a parr. The 
 rapid force of this river had, in the 
 coiirfe of asres, cut throudi the 
 mould that overfpread the lower 
 parts of the mountain to a great 
 thicknefs, and difcovered ftrata of 
 diamond on either lide, intermixed 
 with various petref actions, the bodies 
 
 ' Concerning the tafte or flavour of this 
 fpccics ot iifh, I have not received any infor- 
 niaiion. But as to its fcales, they hold a mid- 
 dle place between fcales and feathers. And 
 they are beautifully adorned, like that mention- 
 ed in Mackintofh's Travels into Afia, &c. v/ith 
 ^gures like the fpots on the peacock's tail. 
 
^6 MAN IN THE MOO N. 
 
 of animals and vegetable?, incorpo- 
 rated with the flinty rock, and by a 
 chanofe which ou8:ht for ever to con- 
 found the fcepticifm of vain mortals, 
 retaining their form after they had 
 loft their fubftance. liere acrain I 
 muft interrupt my narrative, in order 
 to vindicate its fidelity* 
 
 Certain philofophers aiErm, with 
 their ufual dogmatifm, that in the 
 moon there are neither feas, lakes, 
 nor fens ; nor clouds, nor vapours, 
 that might generate rain ; or any 
 thing, in fliort, of a liquid fubftance. 
 But, I. Since the very bafts of aftro- 
 nomy is analogy^ why fliould men, 
 who are fo forward to after t a ftmi- 
 laritv between the earth and moon 
 with other planets, lightly reject the 
 
 belief 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. 41 
 
 belief of the exiftence of lunar va- 
 pours ? 
 
 2. If there be nothing liquid in 
 the moon, how is it poffiblc that 
 there Ihould be any inhabitants in 
 that planet ? Whence ihould they ba 
 fupplied with food ? 
 
 3. Or, if you fuppofe that it is 
 a perfe6l defert, devoid of any beino-s 
 endowed with fenfe or motion, do 
 you not offend againft that 'analogy^ 
 already mentioned, which is the 
 foundation of aftronomical reafon- 
 
 in2:r 
 
 o 
 
 4. Whence the nourifhment? And 
 
 what the ufc of thofe delicious fruits, 
 
 that grow in fuch luxuriance on the 
 
 V^L- I ^ moun. 
 
42 MAN IN THE MOON. 
 
 mountain jufl now defcribcd, and 
 particularly of the neclarjhrubf 
 
 5. Do you call in queftion the 
 truth of all that is here related ? .Go 
 then, if we cannot fettle matters by 
 the power of argument, and from 
 the teftimony of the right honourable 
 MAN OF THE PEOPLE, who fortunate- 
 ly for the credit of this hiflory, is 
 yet alive, learn to refpecl: the autho- 
 rity of a writer, dignified by as noble 
 an office as was ever conferred on 
 any mortal. 
 
 CHAP 
 
L 43 J 
 
 CHAP. II. 
 
 SOME ACCOUNT OF THE EDITOR OF 
 ' THESE WONDERFUL TRAVELS. 
 
 WHOEVER prefers long fen- 
 tences made up of many and 
 mufical words, to that nervous, 
 though unadorned ftyle, which 
 conveys the various fentiments of 
 the writer directly and with preci- 
 fion to the mind of the reader, dif- 
 fers very much from me, the Edi- 
 tor of thefe excellent Converfations 
 between the Englifli orator and the 
 lunar fovercign. I am not naturally 
 inclined to obtrude my opinions on 
 the public, much lefs am I difpofed 
 to enter into any controverfy with 
 D 2 pro- 
 
^if MANINTHE MOON. 
 
 profeflbrs of rhetoric, and the whole 
 tribe of ?neIodioiis authors^ who, with- 
 out any figure, may be juftly faid to 
 be in poirefTion of the public ear. 
 But in the preference I have juft 
 now avowed, I am certain of being 
 right; my confidence in this matter 
 being eilablifhed on authority which 
 is perfectly indifputable. But be- 
 fore I refer to this authority, it is 
 proper that I give fome account of 
 myfelf. 
 
 I am a Scotchman, the reprefen- 
 tative of a family though poor, yet 
 antient. There is a tradition, that 
 about three hundred years ago, we 
 were in poflelTion of an ellate of a 
 thoufand ?narks a year ; about fifty 
 Englifli pounds. This efl;at'e in the 
 
 Gourfe 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. 45 
 
 courfe of time and population, was 
 fo divided and fubdivided among 
 the numerous branches of our pro- 
 lific race, that all that fell to the 
 ihare of my immediate anceftor was, 
 a fmall cottage, with five acres of 
 arable land, and a little track of 
 hilly and marHiy ground for fuel 
 and pafture. At a very early period 
 of life, my father married a young 
 lady, daughter to a neighbouring 
 gentleman, nearly in the fame cir- 
 cumftances with himfelf. Six fons 
 and an equal number of daughters 
 were the fruits of this connexion. 
 The fcanty produce of our little 
 pofFeflion, joined to all the conquefls 
 of the filliing-fpear and the gun, 
 would not have been fuiEcient to 
 inaintain a connexion between tlie 
 D 3 fouU 
 
46 MAN IN THE M O O N. 
 
 fouls and bodies of fo numerous a 
 progeny, had they not been fecond- 
 ed by the culture of potatoes, then 
 juft imported into our part of the 
 country from Ireland, from which 
 kingdom it is feparated only by a 
 narrow channel. Yet, notwithftand- 
 ing thefe deprefling circumftances, 
 my father beheld the increafe of his 
 family with the moft perfed; com- 
 placency and delight. His helplefs 
 infants, the pledges of the pureft 
 love, if they iticreafed his cares, 
 increafed alfo his joys, and roufed 
 into exertion his whole force of 
 mind and body. I remember well, 
 with what raptures he bellowed on 
 his little ones, the dainties we look- 
 ed for on the acquifition of a new 
 brother or filler. On fuch pcca- 
 
 fions 
 
MAN IN THE MOON, 47 
 
 fions he would talk to us more than 
 ufual, and tell us tales of fome he- 
 roic Scottifli chief, who had been 
 fupported by the valour of our fore- 
 fathers in the day of battle, or faved 
 within their hofpi table roofs from 
 the fury of the victorious Englifh. 
 Having iiniflied his narrative, he 
 would point to a ilonc, which graced 
 the lintel of his hunible manfion. 
 On this Hone were engraved certain 
 figures, which, to the eye of the 
 uninformed paiTenger, appeared to 
 be fome of thofe fanciful forms, 
 which the operation of the elements, 
 and the hand of time imprint on 
 inanimated matter. Thefe, he af- 
 fured us, were emblematick memo- 
 rials of the virtues of our remote 
 anceftors, which he exhorted us not 
 D 4 to 
 
48 MAN' IN THE MOO N. 
 
 to difgracc by any mean or unge- 
 nerous aclion. 
 
 Happy days, which, at this peri- 
 od, I cannot recollect without pain! 
 Care had not then retarded in its 
 courfe the aether of vigour and joy. 
 Every organ of digeftion acted v/ith 
 alacrity on our coarfe fare ; every 
 organ of fenfe felt delight at their 
 approach. 
 
 As mutual confidence and love 
 reigned in our family, the only fo- 
 ciety with which I was at all ac- 
 quainted, fo I imagined they reign- 
 ed throughout the world; and the 
 benevolence I v/as ready to extend, 
 I expected with confidence from 
 every human creature. Nor was 
 
 my 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. 49 
 
 my fympathy confined to the fons of 
 
 men. I was fenfible of an afFe6lion 
 
 for every domeftic animal ; nay, the 
 
 trees and fhrubs, and hillocks and 
 
 rills that furrounded om^ lonely 
 
 manfion, I embraced with a kind of 
 
 tendernefs, becaufe they were ours; 
 
 becaufe there none but our fmall 
 
 herds and flocks wandered and fed. 
 
 An affinity was gradually formed 
 
 between my foul and that wild and 
 
 unfertile fpot, which neither dif- 
 
 tance, nor time, nor the moft fplen- 
 
 did and various fcenes have been 
 
 able to difToIve or to weaken. 
 W H 
 
 The native of the crowded city, 
 or of the fertile and populous plain, 
 feels not any llrong attachment to 
 objecls that are common to him with 
 
 thoufands. 
 
50 MAN IN THE MOON. 
 
 tlioufands. The lonely defert, the 
 fequeftered mountain and vale, are 
 ever remembered in the buiieft fcenes 
 of life, with a mixture of pain and 
 tender delight. In the evening of 
 my days may it be my fate to return 
 to the rural haunts of my early 
 youth! Every objecl there will re- 
 call ideas of innocence and joy. 
 Soothed by the cuckoo's note, or 
 the lapwing's bitter complaint, I 
 will walk alone through the marfhy 
 forefts, muling on the difperfion of 
 my kindred, and lamenting the hard 
 fate of five faithful brothers un- 
 timely flain on the American fliore. 
 Our former habitation now levelled 
 with the ground, but ftill to be dif- 
 tinguillied from the wildernefs of 
 wliich it forms a part, by that clufter 
 
 ■' of 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. 5I 
 
 of trees within which it was embo- 
 fomed, with other marks of revo- 
 lution and change, will nourifh that 
 penfive mood which befeems declin- 
 ing years, and prepare me to lay- 
 down my head on nature's lap, with- 
 out reluctance, hoping, perhaps, that 
 my fpirit, ftill preferving its confci- 
 oufnefs of identity, will join my 
 departed friends in fome future ftate 
 of exiftence; or, at leaft, certain 
 that my afhes fliall fleep in repofe in 
 the fdent grave, mixed with the duft 
 of mv kindred. But I return from 
 this m.elancholy, though not un- 
 pleaiing digreflion. 
 
 It was our cuftom, according to 
 that of all countries, at the conclu- 
 fion of the harveft, to make merry 
 
 with 
 
52 MAN IN THE MOON. 
 
 with our friends. On the day pre- 
 ceding a feaft of in-gathering, a 
 Iheep bound in fetters was brought 
 from the fold, and thrown down in 
 the yard before our houfe. A per- 
 fon who had jiift arrived from the 
 next village was ready to perform 
 the inhuman office of butcher, when 
 two of my fillers and myfelf, draw- 
 ing near the innocent and dumb 
 animal, threw ourfelves down by 
 his fide, and bewailed his approach- 
 ing fate with tears and loud lamen- 
 tations. At that inftant, the mi- 
 nifler of a neighbouring pariili, who 
 happened to pafs by, attracted by our 
 cries, came up to enquire into the 
 caufe of our diftrefs. The good man 
 on his approach was himfelf touched 
 with compailion for the mute vic- 
 tim, 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. 53 
 
 tim, and applauded our fympathe- 
 tic forrow. After congratulating 
 my father, who, at the fight of a 
 ftranirer had come out to receive 
 him, upon the humane difpofition 
 of his children, he enquired, in the 
 language of complacency and kind- 
 nefs, into his circumftances and iitu- 
 ation in life. Beino^ minutely in- 
 formed of thefe particulars, he im- 
 mediately offered to take me along 
 with him, and to educate me with 
 his own fon. ^ The advantages, 
 faid he, with great delicacy, will be 
 reciprocal ; for mutual emulation 
 will quicken the application both of 
 your boy and mine.' My father^ 
 who was not io;nor2.nt of the excel- 
 lent charadter of this worthy cler- 
 gyman, did not hefitate to accept 
 
 his 
 
54 MAN IN THE MOO N, 
 
 his generous offer with tears of joy ^ 
 But my mother, though overwhelm- 
 ed with gratitude, modeftly urged 
 various reafons why I ihould con- 
 timie for fome time lon^rer under 
 the care of my parents. 
 
 ^ He is but ten years old, faid 
 ihe, and of fo wandering a difpo- 
 iition, that if his father and I did 
 not watch over him with great care, 
 we ffiould certainly one day lofe 
 him. He travelled about the coun- 
 try, for not lefs than the fpace of a 
 fortnight, with the gypiies ; and if 
 a relation of his had not diflinguifli- 
 ed him amidil a troop of thofe crea- 
 tures at a wedding, it is probable 
 we fhould never again have feen his 
 face. The agony we felt during 
 
 that 
 
MAN 11^ THE MOO^f. 55 
 
 that time makes us uneafy whenever 
 he is out of our fight. When he 
 was not more than five years old he 
 climbed to the top of that rock, 
 which ftands at the back of our 
 houfe. There he fpied the top of 
 a hill at a fmail diflance, and he 
 muil needs afcend that likewife. 
 There is no end of his curiofity, 
 nor will I trouble you. Sir, with an 
 account of the dangers he has en- 
 countered from v/andering amidfl 
 marfhes, and mountains, and rocks ; 
 and from too near an approach to 
 rapid ftreams in thofe feafons when, 
 pouring from the fides of the hills 
 with a furious noife, they overflow 
 their banks, ovcrfpreading the dales, 
 and fometimes carrying along, they 
 fay, to the fea, the fruits of both 
 
 flocks 
 
56 MAN IN THE MOON. 
 
 flocks and fields. But there is one 
 of his fancies, which I can never get 
 out of my head, and which has of- 
 ten filled me with apprehennons left 
 he fhould fome time be difordered 
 in his mind. I am afraid to fay or 
 to think how old he was when he 
 fallied forth, in the dufk of an har- 
 veft evening, upon the v/ildcft ex- 
 pedition that was ever undertaken 
 by any human creature. The full 
 moon, juft peeping over the earth, 
 feemed to touch the brow of that 
 eafterly hill. My poor boy was 
 tranfported at the fight of fo glo- 
 rious an object, and without fiiying 
 a word to any pcrfon, fet out on a 
 journey to the moon. After wan- 
 dering all night, he was brought 
 back next morning, by an herdf- 
 
 man 
 
MAN IN THE MOON, 57 
 
 man belonging to an eminent gra- 
 zier.' 
 
 * The account you give of your 
 fon, replied the clergyman, confirms 
 and heightens the opinion I had be- 
 fore conceived of the feniibility of 
 his nature. Amidfl all the extrava- 
 gancies you relate, I difcern a mind 
 fufceptible of the impreflions of vir- 
 tue. There is a near affinity be- 
 tween tafte and moral sfoodnefs. A 
 foul that is touched with whatever 
 is beautiful, great, or terrible in na- 
 ture, is alfo touched with the fair 
 and majcftic form of virtue.* 
 
 My patron, having partaken of 
 fuch refrefliments as our houfe af- 
 forded, and put up a fervent prayer 
 
 Vol. I. E to 
 
5^ IM A N I N THE MOO ?C. 
 
 to heaven in behalf of the family 
 (according to the ciiftom of the mi- 
 niilcrs of Scotland) carried me along 
 with him to his houfe. 1 was treat- 
 ed here with great tcndernefs and 
 care, and after having acquired a 
 competent knowledge of the Greek 
 and Latin tongues, I was fent, in 
 mj lixteenth year^ to the univeriity 
 of Edinburgh. 
 
 Having devoted, as is ufual in that 
 feminary, three years to the fludy 
 of the arts and fciences, I entered 
 particularly on that of phyiic. In 
 a fociety, of which mofl of the 
 profeffors were members, I deli- 
 vered a diflertation de Soils et Lunce 
 regmine, which was thought to have 
 more merit than Dr. Mead's on the 
 
 fame 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. 59 
 
 fame fubjcct. I procured number- 
 lefs admirers, who courted my ac- 
 quaintance, and I began to imagine 
 that I did not want either abilities 
 or friends. 
 
 My patron at this time died very 
 poor and very much regretted. The 
 fchemes he had formed for the fettle- 
 mcnt of his fon and myfelf in life, 
 proved abortive. The prom.ifes 
 of the great were not fulfilled. I 
 foon fell. into want of money. I 
 was in abfolute want of bread to 
 fatisfy the demands of nature. The 
 multitude that furrounded me in a 
 great city, increafed my chagrin. 
 I continually compared my own with 
 the iituation of others. I envied the 
 lowed labourer and mechanic wliofe 
 E 2 chcar- 
 
60 MAN IN T H E M O N', 
 
 chearful looks and florid complexi- 
 ons befpoke plenty, health, and 
 contentment. 
 
 Amidfl: all my neceflitics I had 
 long been fupported by an ambition 
 of railing a name equal to thofe of 
 Black, Cullen, and Monro. This 
 ambition no longer exifled. It fled 
 at the approach of hunger. I now 
 rcfolved to leave Edinburgh, and, 
 fince I could not be in a worfe fltu- 
 ation elfewhere, to try whether a 
 change of place might not alfo pro- 
 duce a change of condition. I ex- 
 chano:ed a few books for a fewfliii- 
 lings. I packed up three fliirts and 
 a pair of flioes in a bag, and left 
 a place where I had been fo unfor- 
 tunate, with regret. 
 
 I was 
 
1,1 A N IN THE MOON. 6l 
 
 I was fo diilracled with an unre- 
 mitting preflure of care ; and, as I 
 verily believe, my organs of reflection 
 were fo much difordered by the want 
 of neceffary fuftenance, that I had 
 not formed any plan whatever for 
 my future conduct, nor was there 
 any particular place to which I di- 
 rected my fteps. I am utterly unable 
 to recollect, what m.oral or phyfical 
 impulfe determined me to take the 
 road that leads to Muflelburgh. But 
 I remember very diftinctly, that as I 
 walked flowly through the Downs, 
 near to the fea-beach, I entertained 
 thoughts of putting a period to a 
 miferable exiftence, by burying my- 
 felf in its roaring waves. In the 
 bitternefs of anguifh, I had thrown 
 away both my bundle and my hat, 
 E 3 .and 
 
"62 MAN IN THE MOON. 
 
 and felt down, in this frantic condi- 
 tion, in a fpot which furroiinding 
 hillocks had formed into a retreat 
 that naturally invited the fad and 
 weary traveller. Here I lay, ftretched 
 out on the ground, when the found 
 of mufic interrupted my reveries, 
 and compofed my diftracled foul. 
 Some fkilfal hand, obedient to the 
 dictates of the moft feeling heart, 
 and delicate tafte, diffufed through- 
 out the undulating atmofphere, the 
 aggravated grief and paflion of the 
 Pretender's lament. I lifted up my 
 head, and lookino: round uerceived 
 a company of gypfies, men, women, 
 and children,, advancing, with great 
 feftivity towards my retreat. They 
 unloaded their affes, and fat down 
 on the mofly grafs, to a repaft which 
 
 was 
 
Ivl A W IN THE MOO N, . 63 
 
 ^-as not fo much diftinguillicd by 
 elegance or taile, as by variety and 
 abundance, — -fcraps of viands of all 
 kinds, fifli, fowls, bread, cheefe, 
 onions, eggs, with a few tankards 
 x)f ftout beer. — -The gypfies very 
 cordially invited me to partake of 
 their fare, and I readily accepted of 
 their invitation. During the time 
 of this fete champetre, a young 
 woman, about the age of tv/enty, 
 frequently caft her eyes upon me, 
 and whifpered fomething in the ears 
 of thofe who happened to fit next 
 her. A ftriking fmgularity in my 
 countenance, and aifo in my eye- 
 brows, one of which was as black as 
 the raven's wino:, while the other 
 was white as the driven fnow, had 
 difcovered to this gypfey that I was 
 E 4 the 
 
64 .MAN IN THE MOON. 
 
 the identical perfon who had joined 
 their company, in the county of: 
 Dumfries, about twelve years be- 
 fore. I acknowledged that ihc w^as 
 not miftaken. The gypiies were 
 furprifed at this difcovery, and ma- 
 nifefted no fmall degree of fatisfac- 
 tion at meeting with an old ac- 
 quaintance, who had given a iignal 
 proof of affection for their focicty. 
 
 I gave thefe people, at their joint 
 defire, a Iketch of my life, up to the 
 very moment in which they found 
 me. They prefented to me my hat 
 and bundle which they had picked 
 up, and endeavoured to confole me 
 under my misfortunes. — ' You have 
 no eftate, it is true, faid an elderly 
 man, nor any place of abode, yet 
 
 'why 
 
MAN I .N THE MOON. 65 
 
 why fliould you abandon yourfelf 
 to forrov/ ? Here are three families 
 of us who never know in the morn- 
 ing where we are to lay our heads 
 at night ; and whofe only v/ealth is 
 two afTes, v/ith a few inftruments 
 for the purpof-j of mending old brafs : 
 an occupation to which we iubmit, 
 when we cannot find fubfiilence ei- 
 ther by fortune-telling, or by beg- 
 ging, or by prefcribing cures to the 
 fick. Notwithftanding, however, 
 all thefe circumftances, if you will 
 become one of us, you will acknow- 
 ledge that this roving manner of 
 life is not witliout its advantages. 
 We are not opprefTed with hard la- 
 bour. We generally make a ihift to 
 provide good cheer. We are not 
 tied down to one fpot, or confined 
 
 to 
 
66 MAN IN THE M O O N. 
 
 to the company of any difagreeable 
 perfon. Wc are as free as the fowls 
 of heaven. Like them we wander 
 from place to place, and find an 
 home in every village and in every 
 grove. Like them too we are linked 
 together only by love : nor are do- 
 meftic broils known amons^ the 
 gypfies. It is true, we are defpifed 
 by people w^ho have fixed habitati- 
 ons : but we are kept in counte- 
 nance by one another ; and, as we 
 are a kind of pilgrims and ftrangers 
 on the earth, we give ourfelves very 
 little trouble about the opinions that 
 may be entertained concerning us, 
 by thofe perfon s among whom wc 
 fojourn. At the fame time, I muft 
 confefs, that the contempt in which 
 wc arc held by thofe who live always 
 
 in 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. 67 
 
 in one place, makes us not a little 
 proud of any mark of refpe(^l we 
 happen to receive from gentlemen. 
 As to the common people, we hold 
 ourfelves to be infinitely fiiperior to 
 tbe?Uj not only on account of the 
 high antiquity of our defcent, but 
 alfo becaufe we live better, and pof- 
 fefs greater liberality of fentiment, 
 and gaiety of manners.' 
 
 Our repaft being over, a ftrolling 
 mufician tuned his violin, and flruck 
 up a merry Scotch tune ; or, what 
 in the lansruac^e of Caledonia is ftiled 
 
 o o 
 
 a REEL. But his powers, though 
 far from being contemptible, were 
 fo much inferior to the genius and 
 ikill that had foothed my troubled 
 mind with the melancholy ftrains of 
 
 the 
 
68 MAN IK THE MOO N\ 
 
 the Pretender^ s lament^ that I could 
 not help remarking the difference. 
 ' You have a very jufl ear. Sir, 
 replied a female who feemed decre- 
 pit through infirmity and age, there 
 is a wide difference between the 
 mufician w^ho favoured us with the 
 lament^ and the honeil man who now 
 does his beil to pleafe us. The 
 former is a gentleman who refides 
 in this neighbourhood, and who is 
 diflinguifhed by a fenfibility to the 
 pleafures of both imagination and 
 fenfe. When the ardour of his 
 feelings is excited by wine, he plays 
 a thoufand odd pranks, which have 
 rendered him famous through all 
 the countiy around. In his cups it 
 is one of his chief amufements to 
 beat a drum, if he can lav his hands 
 
 on 
 
MAM IN THE MOON. 6q 
 
 on one, or to play on any thing 
 that bears the name or refemblance 
 of an inftrument of mufic. He ac- 
 companied us part of the way from 
 Leith, and to this circumftance we 
 are indebted for the foft yet power- 
 ful melody which you have lo juftly 
 commended. With regard to our 
 prefcnt performer, he plays, on oc- 
 cafions of jollity, in different parts 
 of the country, but is never fo hap- 
 py, if we credit his own teflimony, 
 as when he makes fallies with the 
 gypfics.' 
 
 The furprife I felt at hearing fuch 
 fentiments and language in the 
 mouth of a gypfey, was removed 
 bv a difcoverv which feemed not 
 lefs an objecb of wonder. The rags, 
 
 and 
 
^O MAM IN THE MOON. 
 
 and crutches, and patches, that form 
 the necefliiry apparatus of the pro- 
 fellion of tinkers, were prefently 
 exchanged for garments not only- 
 decent, but fplendid ; and a number 
 of handfome and genteel figures 
 prefented themfclvcs for the dance, 
 on the green turf, under a clear 
 fky, and the broad canopy of heaven. 
 
 The anticnt fi.g^ure that had given 
 me an account of the m.uiicians, 
 having laid afide that difguife which 
 gave her the appearance of both age 
 and iniirmity, and adorned her per- 
 fon in the gaudieft manner that the 
 moft luxuriant fancy can conceive, 
 appeared a beautiful lady, not paft 
 the thirtieth year of her life. I learnt 
 afterwards that flie was the daughter 
 
 of 
 
MAN IN THE M O O Nr 7! 
 
 of arr antient family in Argylefliire, 
 whom the pride of her parents had 
 fccluded, in the bloom of youth and 
 beauty, from the moll: diflant ap- 
 proach of men, from an apprehen- 
 fion that fonie perfon of bafe blood,, 
 might diflionour their race by mar- 
 rying her. The wanton girl, im- 
 patient of this cruel reilraint, made 
 an elopement with a young high- 
 lander, carrying with her a round 
 fum of money, and all her mother's- 
 jewels. Her paramour, by the in- 
 terefl: of her father, was fent on^ 
 board a ffiip of war. The lady^ 
 however, refufed to return to her 
 former prifon, and affociated herfelf 
 with the gypfies, who adored her as- 
 their queen. Her black and pier- 
 cing eyes united the bewitching 
 
 moillure 
 
^2 MAN IN THE MOON* 
 
 moifture of youth, with the full- 
 grown ardour of maturcr years ; 
 and feemcd to pant after a gratifi- 
 cation with which fhe was aheady 
 acquainted. Her long black hair, 
 braided and turned up, was orna- 
 mented with flowers and precious 
 ftones Her neck, fairer and more 
 poliihed than Parian marble, was 
 adorned with a collar of liquid pearl, 
 and her arms with the richeft brace- 
 lets. Her limbs floated in all the 
 loofe fimplicity of lilkcn robes, cal- 
 culated not to conftrain, but to 
 humour and difplay every motion 
 of the body, and all the agitation 
 of the mind. The covering of her 
 bofom, formed of tranfparent gauze, 
 concealed not from the amorous 
 eye, palpitations, heavings, nor 
 
 aught 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. no 
 
 aught that could contribute to ex- 
 cite delire. The drefs of the reft of 
 the company, though lefs fplendid, 
 was, however, not inelegant : nor 
 did the young women want beauty, 
 nor the young men manly grace. 
 Dancing was continued for feveral 
 hours by the youth of both {t:is.QS^ 
 while a few old men and women 
 amufed themfelves with drinking 
 ftrong beer, and fmoaking their 
 pipes. But the wanton attitudes, 
 and lafcivious geftures of the gypfies, 
 it muft be allowed, foon difcovered 
 that they cultivated but little the 
 virtue of chaftity. They expreffcd 
 by mute action all the extravagan- 
 cies and raptures of love, in his 
 happieft moments and moll fecret 
 retirements, 
 VoL.r. F Lafcivi- 
 
74 MAN IN THE MOON. 
 
 Lafcivious dances and fongs in 
 antient times formed a part of that 
 divine worlhip which in Italy, Greece, 
 and the Eaft, was paid to the divi- 
 nities that prefided over the affairs 
 of love. The dancing girls in Hin- 
 doflan, and the gypfies in Europe, 
 perpetuate thofe amorous ceremonies 
 which were obferved in the gay and 
 fenfual devotion of the adorers of 
 Venus, JJJjhretb, Priapis, Cup do ^ 
 &c. &c. Yet, in juftice to the 
 Egyptian dames, and particularly to 
 my partner, the lady I have already 
 defcribed, I muH obferve, that their 
 amorous geftures and looks were 
 very different from the flare of prof- 
 titutes. Their manner, though laf- 
 civious in the highefl degree, was 
 agreeably tempered with attachment 
 
 to 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. 7^ 
 
 to their partners in the dance, with 
 refpecl, with fentiment, feeling, and 
 ahuoft with modefly. They recalled 
 to my mind the defcription which a 
 Roman poet has left of his young 
 mate, wlien, on the day after her 
 marriage, flie met the embraces of 
 her hufband in a middle ftate, be- 
 tween that of WIFE and maid 5 but 
 in which the bluili of the virgin" 
 difappeared, and was loft in the foft 
 deiires of the tender spouse. 
 
 The evening now approached, and 
 as it was in the fummcr feafon, wc 
 lodged during the night in a fpaci- 
 ous barn, reclining on the fragrant 
 hay. I forgot all my forrows, and 
 gave way to the pleafmg intoxication 
 of the moft fuccefsful love. My 
 F 2 fair 
 
'j6 MAN I N .T H E MOON. 
 
 fair friend admitted me, without 
 much coynefs, to all the rights of 
 a hufband, and we lived together, 
 with mutual fidelity and affe6lion, 
 for the fpacc -of three year^ With- 
 in the compafs of this time we tra- 
 velled through moil of the counties 
 in England, Ireland, and Scotland 5 
 and in the courfe of our peregrina- 
 tions, I learned more than I had done 
 for the three years I had fpent in the 
 ftudy of philofophy at Edinburgh. 
 
 I was refpecled by the gy piles, and 
 added not a little to their reputa- 
 tion, by fome fimple cures which I 
 performed in the different villages 
 through which we pafTed. 
 
 I lived 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. 77 
 
 I lived the firft two years in this 
 vagabond ftate, with as much happi- 
 nefs, I fuppofe, as was ever indulg- 
 ed, in this world, to any of the fons 
 of men. But this happinefs, being 
 founded on a temporary and tran- 
 lient paflion, was in itfelf temporary 
 and tranfient. The love I bore to 
 my partner fvveetened every incon- 
 venience, and the variety of the 
 feenes through which we pafled, af- 
 forded frefh incitements to my paf- 
 fion. But fatiety, the bane of love, 
 crept upon me at laft. I awoke 
 from a dream of enjoyment, and 
 found myfclf in the difgraceful fitu- 
 ation of a ftrolling tinker. 
 
 Had I rooni;, and were this the 
 
 proper place, to trace the progrefs 
 
 F 3 of 
 
7^ MAN IN THE MOON. 
 
 of my increafing coldnefs to my be- 
 loved gypfy through all its caufes 
 and fymptoms, I might perhaps 
 throw fome light upon certain ap- 
 pearances in human nature, and dif- 
 cover certain means for prolonging 
 the fweet empire of the wife over 
 the hufband. But this I refervefor 
 another work, which I defign to 
 publifli with all convenient fpeed, 
 and which will be entitled, " A 
 Tour with the Tinkers." 
 
 My fair friend having perceived 
 my chagrin, enquired with great 
 affection into the caufe of that un- 
 happy change, which, flie faid, flie 
 had obferved for fome time in my 
 behaviour. I told her, that I was 
 infinitely afhamed and vexed at hav- 
 ing 
 
 i 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. yg 
 
 ing afTociated myfelf for fo long a 
 time with a fociety, v/hich, although 
 it merited in many rcfpcclsmyefteem 
 as well as gratitude, was yet dif- 
 graceful in the eyes of the world. 
 The lady was concerned for the turn 
 my mind had taken, and difcourfcd 
 with great eloquence on the folly of 
 ambition, which fhc reprefented as 
 the grand fource of more than half 
 the calamities of human life. But 
 her iiren fong was lofl on a cloyed 
 lover. I declared my firm purpofe 
 to return to the world, to pufli my- 
 felf forwards in the profeflion of phy- 
 fick, and to obliterate, if poffible, 
 all remembrance of paft levities, by 
 the utmoft gravity and regularity of 
 deportment. I protcfled, that I 
 fliould retain, as long as life, an af- 
 F 4 fecl;ionate 
 
So MAN I N T H E MOO N". 
 
 feclionatc and grateful ferSe of her 
 unabated fidelity and love ; and I 
 added, that fhoiild fortune prove 
 propitious, I would be happy to af- 
 ford her, in her declining years, an 
 afylurn from the inconveniencies of 
 a vagrant life, and protection fron:i 
 the infolence of a fcornful world. 
 ' In the mean time, I concluded, 
 until I know how it fhall fare with 
 myfelf, I fliall enjoy the fatisfaclion 
 of correfponding with you by writ- 
 ing.' 
 
 The forfaken fair, inilead of ex- 
 prefTmg any mortification at this 
 difcourfe, faid with a fmile, ' And 
 how, Gabor, will you direct your 
 letters ? How will you addrefs me ? 
 or where will your letters find me ? 
 
 I am 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. §1 
 
 I am not furprlfed, faid fhe, in a com- 
 pof!:d and ferious tone, at tlie decla- 
 ration you have made; I confefs I 
 expelled it iboner, and I wonder 
 your love continued fo long. I have 
 had fix different hufbands, iincc my 
 elopement from Caftle' — It is the 
 manner of the gypfies, whenever a 
 coolnefs arifes on either fide between 
 man and wife, to part on terms of 
 good humour and mutual friend- 
 fliip. A new lover is not long want- 
 ing to the woman, nor a new mif- 
 trefs to the man. 
 
 I prefcntcd her with a lock of my 
 hair, as a memorial of our mutual 
 afFeclion. This flie accepted with- 
 out any vifible emotion, and taking 
 fix love-tokens of the fame kind 
 
 out 
 
82 MAN IN THE MOON. 
 
 out of a fmall iilken purfe, fhewed 
 me famples of the hair and com- 
 plexions of her former hufbands, 
 and gave an account of the perfons 
 and characters of each. I was net- 
 tled at this indifference, and felt a 
 momentary inclination to upbraid 
 her with inconftancy. * 1 will now, 
 faid flie, give you, in return, a me- 
 morial of viy love, wliich I delire 
 you may keep no longer than may 
 fuit your conveniency/ She wxnt 
 upon this to her wardrobe, and fetch- 
 ing an old patched cloak confifting 
 of as many folds as the fhield of 
 Ajax, ripped up one of its corners 
 with a pair of fciffars, and taking 
 out ten guineas, ' Take thefe, faid 
 fhe, and keep them for my fake as 
 long as your neceffities fliall allow. 
 
 You 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. 83 
 
 You will excufe me if I forbear to 
 mutilate my hair. I muft preferve that 
 ornament, a prefent from nature, in 
 order to procureme a new hufband.' 
 
 I blnlned at her generous offer. 
 I hefifated long before I accepted of 
 it. My poverty, not my will, con- 
 fentcd. I told my benefadrefs, that 
 I fliould not take my leave for fome 
 days ; but I took an opportunity of 
 ftealinq away that very evening in 
 the moft abrupt manner, without 
 faying a word either to my fpoufe, 
 or to any other perfon of our com- 
 pany. I took my route through the 
 Northumbrian mountains that divide 
 England from Scotland. I entered, 
 about fun-fet, into a wood, through 
 which I was obliged to pafs, and be- 
 ing 
 
84 MAN IN THE MOON. 
 
 ing favoured with clear moon-light, 
 purfued my journey with flow and 
 melancholy fleps. When I recol- 
 lected the beauty and the goodnefs 
 of my partner, I was foftened into 
 tendernefs and love; and was dif- 
 traded between an inclination to 
 return and never to forfake the gyp- 
 iies, and the refolution I had formed 
 of redeeming with the world and 
 with myfelf my loft reputation. 
 Opprefled with forrow and care, I 
 laid me down, and fell into a pro- 
 found fleep. I awoke about an hour 
 after fun-rifmg, and felt my fpirits 
 ■fo much recruited, that I baniftied 
 from my mind my faithful gypfy> 
 and amufed myfelf with various 
 chimerical fchemes for future great- 
 nefs. 
 
 Having 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. S5 
 
 Having been long accuftomed to 
 a vagrant life and precarious fub- 
 iiftence, I felt no appreheniions of 
 abfolute want^ or hunger. I looked 
 the world boldly in the face, being 
 confident, that, according to one of 
 the proverbs of the gypfies, ' There 
 is always life for a living man.' — 
 Such, at leaft, was my train of rea- 
 foning in the day time, and when I 
 was in good fpirits ; but during the 
 night, and in gloomy weather, I was 
 not without melancholy ideas ; and 
 in fuch moods I always thought 
 w^ith great tendernefs and affection 
 of my late partner. 
 
 I procured a pafTage for London, 
 on board a Newcaftle collier, for a 
 guinea. We had good fare in the 
 
 veiTel, 
 
86 MAN IN THE MOON. 
 
 veflel, but our voyage was flow and 
 tedious ; a circumftance which 1 did 
 not regret, as I enjoyed very com- 
 fortable quarters, which it was pro- 
 bable I mufl foon change for worfe. 
 
 I had formed fuch extravagant 
 ideas of the wealth and grandeur 
 of the Britifli metropolis, that there 
 were only three objeds that fully 
 anfwered my expectations. Thefe 
 werCj the cathedral church of St. 
 Paul's, Weftminller-abbey, and the 
 immenfe extent of London. I flrol- 
 led about this fplendid and new 
 fcene for the fpace of a fortnight, 
 attentive to every thing but my own 
 dependent and perilous fituation. 
 I had been fo inured to a vagrant 
 and carelefs life, that I felt but little 
 
 anxiety 
 
MAN IN THE MOON, S7 
 
 anxiety concerning an eftabliiliment 
 in the world, until I was reduced to 
 my laft guinea. I then betook my- 
 felf to a very rigid oeconomy, and 
 managed my fmall ftock fo well, that 
 it held out for three weeks and two 
 days. In one of thofe very conve- 
 nient eating-houfes near St. Martin's 
 church in the Strand, I happened to 
 dine at the fame board v/ith an 
 Highlander whom I had known in 
 Edinburgh, and who was now in 
 the llation of a porter to an apo- 
 thecary who has lately left off bu- 
 fmefs, and retired to his country- 
 feat. By the intereft of this man 
 I was taken into the fervice of the 
 apothecary, where I lived upwards 
 of a year. 
 
 CHAP. 
 
r 88 ] 
 
 CHAP. III. 
 
 I LEAVE THE SERVICE OF THE APOTHE- 
 CARY, AND ENTER INTO THAT OF 
 THE LUNAR SOVEREIGN. 
 
 AliENTS who have not re- 
 ceived the benefit of a learned 
 and liberal education themfelves, 
 are fometimes more careful than 
 men of letters to beftow that advan- 
 tage on their children. The apo- 
 thecary received me, after a ihort 
 converfation, in a very obliging 
 manner into his family, telling me, 
 that I fhould fuperintend the edu- 
 cation of his fon, and affill occa- 
 fionally in the preparation of medi- 
 cines, 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. Sg 
 
 cines, and the affairs of the fhop. 
 This man, though of a difpofition 
 fomewhat cholerick, was a very ho- 
 neft and friendly perfon, and pof* 
 feffed not a fmall fhare of judgment 
 and penetration, or intuitive dif- 
 cernment. He paid a deference to 
 me on account of my fuperior learn- 
 ing, and fliewed himfelf on all oc- 
 calions well difpofed to befriend and 
 oblige me. I had a comfortable 
 bed, I fed on delicacies, and my 
 patron anticipated all my wants by 
 timely and liberal fupplies of money* 
 Yet with thefe advantages, I felt 
 myfelf extremely unhappy. I was 
 devoured with chagrin, and wifhed 
 myfelf in the woods and mountains 
 again with the gypfies. Poor as is 
 the country of Scotland, it is cer- 
 VoL. I. G tain. 
 
^0 MAN IN THE M O O IT. 
 
 tain, that a literary character is held 
 in greater reputation there, than in 
 England ; nor has wealth, however 
 much deiiderated in Caledonia, ba- 
 nilhed from that antient kingdom 
 thofe diftinclions which arife fo na- 
 turally from birth and fuperior ta- 
 lents. A poor gentleman and a fine 
 fcholar, are ftill refpeclable charac- 
 ters in the northern part of this 
 ifland ; and to put fuch characters 
 on a level with mercenaries and me- 
 nial fervants, would be accounted 
 the great eft outrage and barbarity. 
 
 This is by no means the cafe in 
 England. 1 once remarked this dif- 
 ference to a gentleman, a perfon of 
 infinite ihrewdnefs, himfelf a Scotch- 
 laaii; but who having come, at a 
 
 very 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. gt 
 
 very early period of life, into Eng- 
 land, had imbibed many of the pre^ 
 judices of that country. He afked 
 me, in a manner not very gracious, 
 what title a poor devil of the moft 
 cultivated education had to the re- 
 fpecL and homage of his neighbours ? 
 ' We meafure the value of things 
 in this country, faid he, by their 
 importance, or by their 'rarity^ by 
 v/hich lafl quality he meant the dif- 
 ficulty of obtaining them. From 
 many circumftances that ftruck me 
 very forcibly while I lived with the 
 apothecary, it was eafy to judge, 
 that literary men were no great ra- 
 rities ; vet I was fo unreafonable as 
 to look for all that attention and re- 
 gard which I met with in Scotland, 
 and from the gypfies. I felt fevere 
 G 2 morti- 
 
^2 M A N 1 N T H E Tvl O O N» 
 
 mortification when I was called down 
 to the kitchen, to dine with the 
 fervants, and my friend the High- 
 lander. This poor fellow, who re- 
 tained many of the prejudices of his 
 country, fliewed me every mark of 
 refpecl. But as to the wenches, 
 they placed themfelves at the head 
 of the table, and, with the moil ri- 
 diculous aii's and formalities, exact- 
 ed from myfelf and the porter all 
 the fubmiffion and refpect whict 
 fine gentlemen fiiew to fine ladies* 
 This I could have borne wdth tole- 
 rable patience, as one of the girls 
 was rather handfome, and not in- 
 difpofed to repay my complaifance 
 by the moll alluring marks of fa- 
 vour. It was not the innocent af- 
 fectation of the maid fervants, but 
 
 tha 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. g^ 
 
 the abfurd vanity, impertinence, and 
 malignity of their miftrefs, that ren- 
 dered my abode with the apothe- 
 cary irkfome and infupportable. At 
 certain times, when his wife hap- 
 pened to be in good humour, my 
 patron, or, as he was called, my 
 mafter, would venture to invite me 
 to dinner at his own table. This 
 honour was dearly purchafed; for 
 every fpecies of mortification which 
 a malignant heart and a lively fancy 
 could fuggeft, did I undergo in the 
 company of that ugly blear-eyed 
 woman. She was attentive to every 
 body, myfelf alone excepted. If 
 fhe fpoke to me at all, it was with 
 petulance and contempt. ' Can you 
 eat any of this here dilh, GahorP faid 
 my mailer. — ^ What is it, Sir, replied 
 • G 3 my 
 
^^ MAN IN THE MOON. 
 
 ^ly miflrefs, that a Scotchman can- 
 not cat V This is a fpecimcn of her 
 wit and of her manners. I never 
 could ima<T:ine what could be the 
 reafon why this dame conceived 
 fuch an unconquerable averfion to 
 7ne', for to other men flie was, at 
 leaf!:, occalionally complaifant. A 
 little fqueaking money -fcrivener, 
 who came often to our houfe, hav- 
 ing been obliged to break an ap- 
 pointment he had made to accom- 
 pany this fair lady to the opera, in 
 the a6i: of racking his brains to find 
 out a fubftitute, propofed to the 
 apothecary in a whifper, that as they 
 
 yvere wholly at a lofs, Mrs. — - 
 
 ihould be attended by Mr. Gahor. 
 The druggift, apprehenfive that fo 
 pdious a propoHil might produce 
 
 the 
 
MAN IN THE MOOR. 95 
 
 the moft dreadful domeftic commo- 
 tion, fdenced the fcrivener with 
 fuch an expreflive grin, as gave me 
 ever after the highell opinion both 
 of the vigour of his imagination, 
 and ftrength of his mufcles. At 
 laft the whole family was made very- 
 happy by am oft furious knock at 
 the door, announcing the arrival of 
 the only fon of a carcafe-butcher in 
 Clare-market. This young gentle- 
 man performed for that night the 
 office of Cicijheo to the little woman ; 
 and, to my great joy, ilie tripped 
 cut of the room under Talgors arm, 
 leaving the apothecary, the fcri- 
 vener, and myfelf, in the midft of 
 an eager converfation on the benefits 
 of temperance, over a very hearty 
 bottle iDf excellent Port wine. 
 
 G 4 It 
 
g6 MAN INT THE MOON. 
 
 It is the nature of wine to heig-hten 
 and inflame whatever emotion oi* 
 paflion happens to be predominant 
 in the mind. The contemptuous 
 treatment I had juft met with from 
 my miftrefs, together with the whole 
 of her former behaviour, made fo 
 ftrong an imprefuon on my mind, 
 already roufed and agitated by the 
 dulce fur ere Bacch'i^ that I curfed his 
 wife even in the prefence of the 
 apothecary, and lamented his fate 
 in being indiflblubly bound to fuch 
 a mate. This fally of intoxication, 
 I believe, my mafter would have 
 had the goodnefs to forgive ; but 
 before vi^e had rifen from table, 
 my miftrefs returned from the ope- 
 ra, and poured forth the bittereft 
 expreiSons of indignation and rage 
 
 again ft 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. 97 
 
 againfl her hufband, for allowing me 
 to fit fo long in his company. He 
 that is drunk is as great as a king. 
 Regardlefs of my dependent fitua- 
 tion, I returned the contempt of the 
 apothecary's lady with intereft, even 
 in the prefence of TalgoL I expa- 
 tiated on the beauty, the dignity, 
 and the grace of the queen of the 
 gy piles 5 and alked her how flie had 
 the prefumption to treat with dif- 
 dain a gentleman who had been 
 ennobled by the embraces of a per- 
 fonage fo highly diflingui£hed by her 
 rank, her charms, and her virtues ? 
 At thefe words the enraged woman 
 fell into hyftericks. This incident 
 reilored me inftantly to my fober 
 fcnfcs. I recollected witli pain the 
 precarious tenure by which I held 
 
 my 
 
9$ MAN IN THE MOON. 
 
 my place, and forefaw the confe- 
 quences of my folly. My mafter 
 fuffered me to lodge in his houfe 
 during that night, but difmifled me 
 in the morning with a fmall pre- 
 fent of money, over and above my 
 wages. He offered, at the fame time, 
 to recommend me to a brother apo- 
 thecary, who wanted a perfon to 
 ferve him in the capacity of porter. 
 But in procefs of time, added he, you 
 may be advanced to the office of 
 fhopman. I declined to accept his 
 recommendatory epiftle, and took 
 my leave with many tears. 
 
 I now curfed the hour in which I 
 had given way to the pleafmg tran- 
 fports of Bacchus, and made a vow 
 never again to be guilty of a like 
 
 fo.llv. 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. 99 
 
 folly. Ill the mean time I judged it 
 excufable to comfort my heart, in 
 this precipice of fortune, with a glafs 
 of Madeira. Elevated by that gene- 
 rous liquor, I determined to carry 
 into execution a fcheme which had 
 often fupported me in my defpond- 
 inp' and fretful moods, but which 
 cool refled:ion had hitherto baniflied 
 from my mind, as highly extrava- 
 gant. This was no other than to 
 return to my vagrant life with the 
 gy piles. I purpofed to repair to the 
 place where the whole community 
 of that happy race folemnize an an- 
 nual feflival. There, I doubted not, 
 I fliould meet or hear fome accounts 
 of my faithful fpoufe. I feared in- 
 deed left ilie fliould either be deadi, 
 or wedded to fome other hufband. , 
 
 But 
 
100 MAN IN THE MOON. 
 
 But the laft of thefe cafes, I faid to 
 myfelf, is ♦not irremediable. And 
 ifthcworft Ihould have happened, 
 I Ihall not long want another mif- 
 trefs. That humane people v/ill give 
 me my choice of their young ladies. 
 , They will receive me as a prodigal 
 fon, penitent and contrite, and de- 
 termined henceforward never to leave 
 the houfe of his father. 
 
 Full of thefe ideas I fet out from 
 the Black Bear inn, in Piccadilly, on 
 foot, with an initention to travel as 
 far as I fhould be able, without re- 
 gard to hours, or to any particular 
 place for lodging or refrefhment. I 
 took the Weftern road, becaufe I 
 knew the gypiies were, for that fea- 
 fon, to hold their annual congrefs 
 
 in 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. IQI 
 
 in South-Wales. I had not proceed- 
 ed far into a wood that ikirted a. 
 village near thirty miles from town, 
 when a clock, at fomediflancejftruck 
 twelve. My fpirits having now fub- 
 fidcd through hunger and exceffive 
 fatigue, I fell into a fit of profound 
 melancholy. It was in the fpring 
 feafon, and the night was ferene and 
 mild. The moon-light afforded a 
 gleamy landfcape, while the fullen 
 inhabitants of the wood chanted their 
 nocturnal notes to their mates. ^ I 
 have not even a female to attend me^ 
 faid I to myfelf ; God feldom denies 
 to an animal another of its own kind. 
 I am the moft forlorn of the fons of 
 men. There is not on the face of 
 the earth an human creature that 
 either knows or cares for my hope- 
 
 lefs 
 
102 MAN IN THE MOON. 
 
 lefs fituation/ ' You ftill have one 
 friend, replied a head, rolling itfelf 
 towards my feet. The man of the 
 MOON is refolved to afTift you. — I 
 know, Mr. Student, you are the 
 celebrated author of the JDiJfertati- 
 micida de Solts et Lumz Kegimine, You 
 have fairly confuted Dr. Leake iri 
 many of his conjeclures about my 
 planet, and in truth, have written 
 fomething of your own, which modern 
 authors feldom think proper to at- 
 tempt.' ' Sir, replied I, almoft pe- 
 trified at this unexpected adventure:, 
 you do me much honour in approv- 
 ing of my humble labours. Your 
 afliftance, which you fo generouily 
 offer, I gladly accept; and, as the 
 firft inflance of your friendihip, for 
 ceremony mull yield to the calls of 
 
 nature, 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. I03 
 
 nature, I in treat you to give me 
 fomewhat to eat.' ' That you lliall 
 have, anfwered my new acquaint- 
 ance, and for the future I fliall ufc 
 my interefl in keeping fo much me- 
 rit and honefty from ftarving : — you 
 have fo much of both, that it will 
 require not a little of my ailiftance 
 to puili you on through life. I have 
 long had a great regard for you, and 
 have illumined your imagination 
 \vith fome of my choiceft rays. I 
 am the god of fancy, of poetry, paint- 
 ing, and the a?'s loqiiejidi. Without 
 me, the human brain would be a 
 dull collection of the ideas of fenfa- 
 tion. I am alfo the crod of idiots. 
 
 o 
 
 Men that are feldom right, have been 
 for once fo, in callin<T this fort of 
 men lunaticks. I will inform you 
 
 how 
 
104 MAN IN THE MOON. 
 
 how I beftow parts, and take them 
 away. You knov/ nothing about 
 fixing the lunar rays into a fohd 
 fubllance, but you mufi: not there- 
 fore fay that this is impolTible. It 
 can be done, and I can do it. Thefe 
 rays, reduced to a fubtle powder, 
 and blown on the furface of the in- 
 fant brain, ftimulate it in future Hfe, 
 by their quality of pricking. A 
 fliarp point of this sethereal duft, 
 comino: into contadt with a nervous 
 fibre, will fuggefl a fine poetical 
 flight, an oratorical flow of language, 
 or even a law of nature. Without 
 this duft, a man may acquire the 
 knowledge of others ; but he is only 
 a book, in which ideas are regifter- 
 ed ; a library, where the fpeculations 
 of other men are placed, but without 
 
 any 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. IO5. 
 
 any elegance or propriety of arrange- 
 ment. Such a man has little power 
 over the minds of other men^, and 
 little over matter. The tell of true 
 genius, is, to move, to agitate, to 
 perfuade, and govern mankind, by 
 touching their pailions : or, by obe- 
 dience to the laws ^ to dired and 
 rule the powers of nature. It is this 
 power that diftinguifhes from the 
 herd of pretenders, the painter, the 
 mufician, the orator, the poet, the 
 philofophcr. Did men but attend 
 to this iimple truth, there would not 
 be {o many difputes about genius 
 and tafte : and the dull refcarches of 
 Kaims and Gerard, and of thoufands 
 of other painful plodders, would no 
 
 * Natura enim obccmperando vincltur. 
 Lord Bacon, Nov. Org. 
 
 Vol. L H longer 
 
 •1w. 
 
IC6 MAN IN THE M O O K. 
 
 longer be regarded even by peda- 
 gogues or fchool-boys. I know, 
 Mr. Student, that on this fubjeck 
 you think as I do : and I have given 
 this Ihort definition of genius to en- 
 courage you, by an authority which 
 I doubt not you will think refpecca- 
 ble, to abate the excefs of your re- 
 verential awe, and to inftil into 
 your mind that confidence which is 
 necelTary for the purpofe of this in- 
 terview/ 
 
 Emboldened by the gracious con- 
 defcenfion of this celeftial, I thus 
 replied. ' My heavenly patron 1 
 Since you encourage me to addrefs 
 you by fo comfortable an appella- 
 tion, I bow with reverence to vour 
 opinionSp and fli.ould fooner diflruft 
 
 jny 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. IO7 
 
 my reafon, and all my fcnfes, than 
 imagine, for a moment, that what 
 you do, or utter, is not perfectly true, 
 and juft, and wife. But, as a fmall 
 veffel cannot contain the waters of 
 the ocean, fo it isimpolTible that my 
 limited capacity fhould be able to 
 comprehend all the truths that may 
 be conceived and known by a fupe- 
 rior mind. Permit me, therefore, to 
 aik an illuflration of whatever ihall 
 appear dark or doubtful in any of 
 your alfertions. If an illuflration 
 flrall bring down fublime truths to 
 the level of my underftanding, well : 
 If not, I fiiall Alow faith to triumph 
 over the wanderino's of fallacious 
 
 o 
 
 reafon ; and v/hat to human views 
 
 feems incomprehenfible and abfurd, 
 
 H 2 I ihall 
 
I08 MAN" IN THE MOON. 
 
 I jQiall readily admit, on the autho- 
 rity of divine teilimony.' 
 
 * Student, replied the mam in 
 THE MOON, you liave fpoken like a 
 wife man and a good chriftian. Be- 
 yond the fphere of human vifion lie 
 many truths which you cannot ei- 
 ther difcQver or comprehend. Your 
 profpecl is terminated by a narrow 
 horizon, and your knowledge im- 
 perfect within the circle. It becomes 
 you, therefore, to pay a juil defe- 
 rence to the teftimony of fuch as can 
 neither be deceived themfelves, nor 
 have any interefl in deceiving others* 
 Scepticifm is as great a weaknefs as 
 credulity.' 
 
 Having 
 
MAN IN THE MOON, ^'OQJ 
 
 Having affented to what was faid 
 by my celeftial vifitant, I intreated 
 liim to explain to me what reafons 
 he had for making idiots ; as that 
 fort of men, I faid, wxre ufelefs in 
 fociety, and but ihocking ruins of 
 thinking beings. 
 
 ' Now, ftudent, anfwered the 
 MAN IN THE MOON, your doubts are 
 for once well-founded. There can, 
 indeed, be no reafon for making 
 idiots. Idiots are, as it were, frag- 
 ments of human nature. They are 
 like books, of which fome parts are 
 loft, while others remain : and in 
 the perufal of which you are ftruck 
 by turns with admirable fenfe, and 
 with incoherent nonfenfe. But it is 
 ^ot my fault that you have fo many 
 H 3 idiots 
 
lid MAN IN THE M O N- 
 
 idiots in your world. A proper 
 portion of my di//I of rays gives 
 genius ; but too much, deftroys the 
 powers that before exifted in the 
 mind. Thus a certain deQ:ree of 
 heat caufcs fluidity in water ; a 
 greater converts it into fteam. Thus, 
 on the other hand, a certain degree 
 of cold condenfes vapour into a flate 
 of compact fluidity \ a greater con- 
 verts fluid fubftances into ice. The 
 operation of my powder is analo- 
 gical to that of heat and cold upon 
 water. A jufl: portion of it gives 
 brilliancy, or, if you will, fertility 
 of invention ; too little caufes ftu- 
 pidity; and too much produces 
 phrenzy ; the laft ftage of which is 
 idiotifm. Thefe idiots, Mr. Student, 
 upon v/hom I beftowed fuch fuper- 
 
 abundant 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. HI 
 
 abundant portions of my rays in 
 ■powder^ I defigned for poets. But, 
 it is extremely diiEcult to balance 
 this powder in fuch a manner, as 
 duly to mingle imagination, the main 
 fource of genius, with attention, 
 judgment, and the other materials 
 of the underllandins:. I have made 
 multitudes of idiots in this moll dif- 
 ficult of all attempts. But for a 
 great number of years, and perhaps 
 this is what you will think incredi- 
 ble, for a great number of years, I 
 have not been able to make a poet. 
 The only great poet I have formed 
 in the courfe of the prefent century, 
 is James Thomson. You are fur- 
 prifed. Student ! at my fpeaking in 
 the prefent tenfe : but know, that 
 true poets never die. James Thom- 
 H 4 foa 
 
112 MAN I M THE MOO K, 
 
 fon is at this moment in yonder 
 planet, over which I have the ho- 
 nour to prelide, 
 
 '* Holding high converfe with the mighty 
 deads," 
 
 His fame has gone forth into a 
 thoufand worlds. The Seafons^ it is 
 univerfally faid among the celcflials, 
 is a philofbphical and mod afi'edling 
 pidture of nature. A neighbour of 
 mine, the genius of one of the fatel- 
 lites of Jupiter, did me the favour 
 to dine with me a few days ago. I 
 had invited Virgil on that day, as of 
 all human characters thofe are the 
 jnoft acceptable to fuperior natures, 
 who unite the higheft benevolence 
 with the moil enlarged capacity. 
 
 ^ See Thomfon's Seafon of Winter. 
 
 You, 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. H^ 
 
 You, who are fo cntliufiaftic an ad- 
 mirer of the Georgics, and who feel, 
 in fo feniible a manner the happy 
 mixtm'e of humanity, philofophy, 
 and poetic fire by which that poem 
 is diflinguifhed ; you, Mr. Student, 
 will eafily imagine how agreeable to 
 fuch natures is the company of the 
 great lloman poet. A natural afTo- 
 ciation of ideas turned the conver- 
 fatlon on the humane, philofophical, 
 and poetical author of the seasons. 
 Brother, faid my neighbour, jocu- 
 larly, I fuppofe you have exhaufled 
 your whole powers upon Thomfon, 
 for I have not heard of a poet of any 
 eminence from the earth, or upon 
 it, lince his days. Here I defended 
 fuyfelf, by recalling to the mind of 
 my ccleftial neighbour Gejner^ Gray, 
 
 and 
 
114 M A N I N THE M O O N- 
 
 and Metaftajio. Thefe, he allowed, 
 held a very diftinguifhed place among 
 the lelTer, but he would by no 
 means rank them with the great 
 poets.' 
 
 The lunar fovereign here paufed. 
 * I perceive, faid he, Mr. Student, 
 from your countenance, that there 
 is fome fentiment in your breaft 
 wdiich labours for utterance.' ' I 
 humbly conceive, Sir, I anfwcred 
 in a fubmiffive tone of voice, that 
 you might have iliewn that your 
 talents for the creation of poets are 
 not yet im,paired, from the works 
 of the celebrated Hayley,^ ' Hayley^ 
 replied the lunar fovereign, would 
 indeed have been a great poet, if I 
 had blown upon his infant brain a 
 
 very 
 
MAN IN THE MOON, TI^ 
 
 very little more of the lunar powder. 
 He has been unhappy in the choice 
 offubje^ts. His theme confines him 
 too much to the rugged paths of 
 ftcni truth. He is not fufficiently 
 at liberty to make thofe feleclions 
 and combinations which the ardent 
 vigour of poetic fancy culls from the 
 regions of poffibility, to charm the 
 ravifhed foul. But a good poet 
 never makes choice of a bad fubject. 
 He either chufes a fubject which ad- 
 mits of the exaG:2:erations and em- 
 bellifliments of fancy ; or defcribes 
 the operations of nature, which are 
 of themfclves fo beautiful, as to 
 ftand in no need of the colourings 
 of fiction ; and fo various, as never 
 to pall on the mofl delicate tafle, 
 However, continued my lunar pa- 
 tron, 
 
Il6 MAN IN THE MOON. 
 
 tron, I have not been fo fparing of 
 my rays to Mr. Hayley, as to leave 
 him in a flate of torpid dulinefs. 
 He is a man of exquifite tafte and 
 judgment, and if I have failed in 
 making him a poet, I have at leafl 
 made him an excellent critic.' 
 
 The lunar fovereign paufed again 
 (for he is the bell bred man in the 
 world) in order to humour an in- 
 clination which he difcovered in my 
 looks to put a queftion. * Alk on, 
 my friend, faid he, and do not be 
 afraid that any of your queries fliould 
 appear either troublefome or imper- 
 tinent. Curioiity, doubts, and dif- 
 ficulties, I hold to be fure marks of 
 ingenuity.' 
 
 « I think 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. II7 
 
 * I think you faid. Sir, that too 
 fmall a quantity of your powder 
 caufed dullncfs or ilupidity. Now 
 I would afk, with your permiffion, 
 whether that ftupidity be as ruinous 
 to human nature, as that idiotifm 
 which proceeds from the contrary 
 extreme ?' — ' By no means, anfwered 
 my heavenly inftruclor, thofe mor- 
 tals, on whofe infant brains I blow 
 my powder in too fparing dofes, 
 although they are incapable of at- 
 taining to the dignity of poets, ne- 
 verthelefs fill other literary depart- 
 ments often with tolerable fuccefs 
 and credit. They generally become 
 index-makers, commentators, com- 
 pilers, annalifts, or journalifts ; or^ 
 as they call themfelves, hiftorians. 
 Such men are, for the moft part 
 
 good 
 
Il8 MAN IN THE M O O K* 
 
 good botanifts, i. e. they will fearch 
 with incredible patience for a new 
 plant or herb, count its petals with 
 infinite exaclnefs, and tell you where 
 it fhould be placed in the nomen- 
 clature of Linnaeus. As to the pro- 
 cefs of nature in the vegetable oeco- 
 nomy, that is a matter concerning 
 which they give thenifclves no trou- 
 ble. So abflrufe a ftudy is by no 
 means neceffary to the eftabliihment 
 of a reputation for fkill in botany. 
 There is an Englilhman whom I in- 
 tended for a poet, but I applied fo 
 very little powder, that it is a won- 
 der the poor man has intellectual 
 powers of any kind. You will be 
 furprifed when I tell you, that this 
 man turned botanift ; and that, hav- 
 ing added to this merit a plentiful 
 
 fortune, 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. 1 19 
 
 fortune, and a flifTnefs and formality 
 of deportment which would not dif- 
 grace an imperial ambaifador at the 
 court of Madrid, he was chofen, not 
 long ago, prefident of the royal fo- 
 ciety . There are too, of thofe whom 
 I attempted to make poets, who be- 
 come a kind of mathematicians; 
 that is, they can inveftigate the 
 mutual relations of lines and figures, 
 but are utterly incapable of riiing to 
 the fublimity, to the metaphylics of 
 mathematics. They are even ig- 
 norant that the very foundation of 
 mathematics is metaphyfics. Many 
 of my fpoilt poets, having fome little 
 tafte for natural philofophy, without 
 the powers of inveftigating natural 
 caufes, purchafe a microfcope and a 
 telefcope, and accoutred v/ith thefe 
 
 inftru- 
 
120 MAN IN THE MOON'. 
 
 inflriiments, they pleafe themfelves 
 with the idea of being great philofo- 
 phers. I know not, fometimeSj 
 whether to indulge compailion or 
 laughter, when I behold fo many- 
 poor creatures, in confequence of 
 my over-tampering with them, flar- 
 ing through their glafTes at the orb^^ 
 of which I am the fpirit, and all 
 their neighbours looking up to them 
 as if they were Tycho Braches, 
 and Galileos, and Keplers.' 
 
 * The fpecies of authors who ap- 
 proach neareft to perfection , and 
 whom a very little more powdei' 
 would have made poets, is, your 
 critics, and your writers of romances. 
 I do not mean fuch critics as your - 
 profefibrs of rhetoric, or fuch no- 
 
 vclifts 
 
MAN IN THE M O O K, 121 
 
 velifts as fill the fliclves of circulat- 
 ino: libraries. I mean I'uch critics 
 as Marmontel, and fuch novelifts 
 as Fielding and SmoUetj and the 
 authors of Gil Bias and Don Qiiix- 
 ote. As to that innumerable herd of 
 rhymers who call themfelves poets, 
 itvithout one grain of genius^ I know 
 nothing of them. I often fufpect 
 that fome infernal di?emon pulhes 
 them on in their foolifli attempts^ 
 in order to bring a difcredit upon 
 the whole art and practice of poetry. 
 And this the rather, as it is no un- 
 common thing for fuch vcrfificrs, 
 though entirely deftitute of the fre, 
 to pofTefs all thQ,fury of poets.' 
 
 ' But, Mr. Student, this is not the 
 
 bulinefs for which I have intruded 
 
 Vol. I. I upon 
 
122 MAN IN THE MOON. 
 
 Upon your meditations. I mean to 
 take you into my fervicc, and you 
 fliall find that I am not an ungrate- 
 ful mailer.' 
 
 The man in the moon then told 
 me, in a few words, the fervice he 
 wiflied me to perform. ' You mufl 
 do me the favour, faid he, to fet 
 down in the human characters which 
 exprefs words, an account of what 
 has lately palled between myfelf and 
 
 Ch s F — X, Efq; for I know 
 
 nothino: of letters or words. I com- 
 municate my ideas by operating di- 
 rectly on the cerebellum^ and there 
 exciting fuch irritations as are pro- 
 duced by thofe charaders and founds 
 which recall the various imprellions 
 that form the flock of human know- 
 ledge. 
 
MAN IN TH£ MOON< I23 
 
 ledge. It is in this maimer that I 
 now converfe with you, and it is 
 thus that I will convey to your ima- 
 gination the truths I employ you to 
 record. Your narrative, when pub- 
 lifhed, will bring you no inconfide- 
 rable profit, and, in the mean time, 
 I fliall take care that you be libe- 
 rally fupplied with every conveni- 
 ency and comfort of life. It is true, 
 I have not the power of making 
 gold. The producllon of that metal is 
 among the prerogatives of the grand 
 Spirit that governs the sun. But I 
 have in reality as great power as if I 
 were in pollcffion of the philofopher's 
 ftone. For by influencing the minds 
 cf men, I am able even to open their 
 purfes. There is a lunatic of my 
 acquaintance, whofe great ambition 
 I 2 is 
 
124 M A N I i^ THE M C O ?7. 
 
 is to be a fine fpeaker in the BritifTr 
 fenate. And fuch is the diftracled 
 ftate of Britifli affairs, that he has 
 actually obtained a mofl important 
 office in government. But from 
 fome mercilefs blows he has received 
 in the daily papers ^5 he is ftunncd 
 into fcmething like a fufpicion, that 
 his oratorical powers, as well as his 
 art of writing, are fomewhat below 
 tliat high (landard of excellence to 
 which he afpires. I have, in your 
 favour, Mr. Srtudent, improved this 
 tendency in the lunatic to a diftruit 
 ®f his own powers. I have put the 
 whole mafs of my interefl into fer- 
 mentation, and I doubt not but the^ 
 idea that has already pafled twice 
 acrofs his brain, of taking you into 
 
 * See particularly the Morning Herald. 
 
 his, 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. I25 
 
 Ills pay, will in a few moments be 
 converted into a volition. Yes, 
 Mr. Student, the Right Honourable 
 
 S of S has refolvcd to pay 
 
 you liberally for watching over his 
 literary fame. You are, at his 4eiir€, 
 to attend the Houfe of Commons, 
 and carefully to record, and embel- 
 iiih all his fpeeches, and all his gef- 
 tures. Thefe he intends to bind up 
 with the Tranflations of Demoll- 
 henes' and Cicero's Orations.' 
 
 I bowed to the ground, and r-e- 
 turned a thoufand thanks to the 
 LUNAR sovEREiGN5forhisinfinitecon- 
 defcenfion and goodnefs. I repre- 
 fented how much fitter many others 
 were to be his hiilioriographers than 
 I 3 myfelf. 
 
126 MAN' IN THE M O O K. 
 
 myfelf. He over-ruled all my ob- 
 jeclions, as 1 fhall relate afterwards. 
 
 In obedience to his high com- 
 mands, I now return from this long 
 digreiTion to the man of the peo- 
 ple, whom I left ftanding upright 
 on thehigheflmomitain in the moon. 
 
 CHAP. 
 
[ 127 ] 
 
 C H A p. IV. 
 
 THE MAN OF THE MOON EXHIBITS HIS 
 MAGICAL GLASS. 
 
 ' TJOW do you find yourfelf 
 1 X now, faid the man of the 
 MOON to him of the people.' 
 
 * I am flruck, the earthly ftran- 
 ger replied, with amazement : and 
 can fcarccly believe that I am awake. 
 — It is a dream — I will try to roufe 
 myfclf from fleep, and extricate my 
 mind from the power of this illuiion.* 
 Having faid this, he began to pinch 
 his left arm, to bite his lips, to pull 
 I 4 his 
 
128 M A N I N T H E M O O N. 
 
 his ears, and to tear his hair. Thefe 
 expedients failing, he jumped up, 
 and flamped Vv'ith his feet, and at laft 
 laid himfelf down and tofTed about, 
 hoping to awake in his own bed. 
 The fuppofed iUufion, in fpite of all 
 thefe er^rts, ilill continued : and, 
 his fpirits being greatly exhauftcd 
 through exceffive fear, and flraining 
 hard with his legs and arms to keep 
 his feat on the lunar fovereign's 
 nofe, it is not improbable that the 
 new and ftupendous fcene which 
 too forcibly affailed his perception, 
 would have quite diftracled him, had 
 
 not THE MAN IN THE MOON, With a 
 
 degree of knowledge and of huma- 
 nity which does honour to his pla- 
 net, laid him on a bed of condenfed 
 fun-beams, where ten minutes re- 
 
 pofe 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. 12f) 
 
 pofe gave him more refrefhment than 
 the loDp-efl: niQ:ht on the terreftrial 
 globe could ever affbrd>. He fpning 
 from this celejiial bed animated by 
 divine vigour, and with a mind as 
 ferene as that of Adam before the 
 fall. 
 
 * My beloved pupil;, faid the lunar 
 fovereign, I iliall now proceed to 
 the great work of your reformation, 
 the grand purpofe for which I brought 
 you hither ; and it is necelTary, iirfl 
 of all, to tear from your eyes the film 
 of prejudice, which for fo many 
 years has obfcured your vifion, that 
 you may be capable of feeing men 
 and things as they really exift.' 
 
 ^ Mak 
 
13^ MAN IN THE MOON. 
 
 ^ Man of the moon! will this 
 tearing you talk of, give me much 
 pain ? I am afraid it is as bad as 
 couchiner the catara6l.' 
 
 Q 
 
 * If you mean bodily pain, Charles, 
 I anfvver, you will have none. Your 
 mind may probably feel fome regret 
 at having wandered fo long in the 
 mazes of error. But if you defire to 
 be inftruclcd, you muft fubmit to 
 that pain ; and that, not by compul- 
 lion, but voluntarily.' 
 
 Ch — s F — X, who imagined that 
 the operation of purging the mind 
 from error, could never be attended 
 with any intolerable pain, readily 
 confented to yield himfelf an obe- 
 dient 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. I^t 
 
 dient patient to his heavenly phy- 
 fician. 
 
 The man of the moon then pro- 
 duced a magical glafs, which repre- 
 Tented human ideas by vlfible lines 
 defined with the utmoft accuracy. 
 It difplayed truth and error, wifdom 
 and folly, virtue and vice, in a light 
 of contraft that overwhelmed the 
 fpeclator with fhame, and horror, 
 and pain. ' Look into this mir- 
 ror, faid the lunar fovereign to his 
 refigned patient, and tell me what 
 you fee.' 
 
 The fmful man beheld his own 
 Image in the acl of felf-murder, and 
 roared out in infernal anguifli. 
 
 ^ Look 
 
132 MAN IN THE MOON. 
 
 * Look again into the mirror, laid 
 the lunar king, and tell me what 
 you fee.' — His patient poflelTed not 
 .any longer the power of difobedi- 
 cnce. His eyes were drawn by a 
 fecret and irrefiftible force to the 
 fpeculum, where he beheld himfelf 
 in the acl of murdering that father 
 who loved him with an excefs of 
 tender affection. He asrain roared 
 out, being in dreadful pain, and 
 trembled throughout his whole 
 frame. 
 
 < Ch — s F — X, faid the genius of 
 .the moon, a third time prefenting 
 the glafs, tell me what you fee.' 
 
 He looked and beheld a multitude 
 of little children, purfued by a thou- 
 
 iand 
 
MAN IN THE MOON'. I33 
 
 fand ravenous animals from a neigh- 
 bouring wood, all holding out their 
 hands, and with tears of joy throw- 
 ino- themfelves into his arms with un- 
 bounded confidence. But, gracious 
 heaven ! he no fooner had clafped 
 in his embraces the fondly confiding 
 little ones, than he threw them from 
 him with contempt and difdain, to 
 be devoured by lions, and wolves, 
 and leopards, and foxes, and tygers. 
 Yet rdll, foch was the credulous 
 fimplicity of the children, that no 
 fooner had he facriiiced one, than 
 another flew into his arms ; nor had 
 multiplied proofs of the favage cru- 
 elty of their fiippofcd proteclor, the 
 lead efFed in opening their eyes^, 
 and difcovering their mlfplaced con- 
 fidence and a(fe6tion. The man cf 
 
 TKS- 
 
134 MAN IN THE MOON. 
 
 THE PEOPLE, in the midfl of this 
 horrid work, frequently looked over 
 his ihoulder, and glanced a fmile of 
 fatisfaclion at a fmooth-faced ficrure 
 who fat behind him, very bufily 
 employed in reading a comedy. The 
 fmooth figure would raife his head, 
 fmile gently at the man of the 
 PEOPLE, and inftantly fix his eyes 
 on his comedy again. 
 
 The lunar sove reign, after a fliort 
 Interval, thus addreiTed his earthly vi- 
 fitant : ' The fwarthy image you have 
 contemplated with fo much horror 
 in my fpeculmn, I know you have 
 difcovered to be yourfelf. It may 
 however efcape your penetration, 
 that the horrid actions in which you 
 was engaged, delineate the corrup- 
 tion 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. I35 
 
 tion of your nature, and the profli- 
 gate vicioufnefs of your life. Thefe 
 are matters of forrow to your near- 
 eft relations ; have ruined your pri- 
 vate fortune ; and brought number- 
 Icfs calamities on that credulous and 
 fooliili people, who looked up to 
 you as their political faviour. The 
 guilt of your conduct you will, no 
 doubt, alledge, as refledled by this 
 wonderful glafs, is greatly magni- 
 fied ; but you are to obferve, that 
 fuperior natures are as much im- 
 prciTcd with horror at the vices of 
 your life, as you would be yourfelf, 
 had you really been literally and di- 
 rectly guilty of the crimes you ap- 
 peared to perpetrate in the fpecu- 
 lum. The courfc of your conduct 
 partakes of the nature of murder, 
 
 however 
 
1 36 MAN IN THE MOON. 
 
 however this tendency may be veiled 
 from your eyes by the procefs of 
 paflion and fpecious excufes, which 
 at laft impofe even on yourfelf. Mi- 
 fery, defpair, and ruin to yourfelf, 
 your friends, and your country, are 
 the natural effects, which, if they 
 were not prevented by other effects 
 -equally independent of your will 
 and power, mufl ultimately flow 
 from the fury of gam.ing, the rage 
 of difappointed hopes, and the tur- 
 bulency of immoderate ambition. 
 The celeflials,who fee effects through 
 a thoufand caufes at one intuitive 
 glance, are flruck by the propriety 
 or impropriety of moral conduct 
 with a force, of which you are now 
 able to form fome conception from 
 your feeUngs when you beheld your- 
 felf 
 
MAN I tsr THE MOON. 1 37 
 
 felf in my glafs. It is in this man- 
 ner that fiich human fouls as are 
 fent to my planet are puniflied, pu- 
 rified, reformed, and enlightened 
 after what, in the language of your 
 globe, is called death.' 
 
 * And here, Charles, faid the 
 MAN OF THE MOON, the novelty of 
 our acquaintance lays me under the 
 neceflity, as it frequently happens, 
 to explain myfelf. I fay, fuch hu^ 
 man fouls as are fetit to my -planet ; for 
 all fouls are not fent thither. No, 
 only fuch as I have been pradlifing 
 upon withmy rays, in order to infpire 
 them with a flow of invention and 
 genius. As to the greater part of 
 mortals, your men of plain fenfe, 
 who hold on in the beaten traces of 
 
 Vol. I. K life, 
 
I3S MAN IN THE MOON. 
 
 life, either high or low, by the mere 
 power of habit, I know nothing of 
 them. I have often alledged, when 
 converfing on that fubjeci: with my 
 neighbours in the environs of Marfiy 
 Jupiter, and Saturn, that they mufl 
 furely be confined to the care of one 
 or more of them. However, con- 
 cerning that matter I cannot affirm 
 any thing with certainty, as all of 
 them, either through fhame, or a 
 confcioufnefs of truth, declare even 
 with oaths, that they never had any 
 thing to do with them. The only 
 fouls that come to this planet are 
 fuch as have either been benefited 
 by my art, or fpoiled by my tem- 
 pering.' 
 
 The 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. Joq 
 
 The lunar fovereign, returnino- 
 from this dlgrefTion, proceeded thus: 
 
 « The fame fpeculum, Charles, 
 which reprefents in fo vivid a man- 
 ner the difference between moral 
 good and evil, exhibits alfo the op- 
 pofition that fubfiils between know- 
 ledge and error, truth and falfhood. 
 Clarke, WoolJailon, Price, v/ith 
 others of your countrymen, who 
 maintain that moral diftindions are 
 perceived, not by means of any 
 principle analagous to fenfe, but by 
 the adlive energy of the intellecl, 
 \re for once right in their fpecula- 
 tions. The Scotch doctors, Meffrs. 
 Reid, Beattle, and Ofwald, who 
 erecl an inftinclive feeling into an 
 univerfil judge of truth, open a door 
 K 2 jiot 
 
140 MAN IN THE MOON. 
 
 not only to the grcatcfl abfurditics 
 in metaphyiics, but alfo to fanati- 
 cifm, and every enthuiiaftic conceit 
 in all the branches of morality and 
 religion. You will be convinced of 
 the truth of thefe things, after you 
 have fufficiently ftudied this glafs.' 
 
 But as the the man of the peo- 
 ple was now entering on a new 
 fludy, though by means of the flime 
 medium, it became neceffary for his 
 celeftial inftruc^or to put the follow- 
 ing queftion : ' Ch — s F— x, in the 
 name of the great foul of the uni- 
 verfe, whofe unworthy fervant I am^ 
 and who governs all things by weight 
 and meafure, do you wiffi to take a 
 fummary view of the origin, nature, 
 
 and 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. 141 
 
 and eiFccls of knowledge and igno- 
 rance, truth and faliliood.' 
 
 Charles, who had not yet forgot 
 the mortal pangs he had fuffered 
 from iiiipecling the fpeculum, re- 
 plied, ' I confefs, moil divine con- 
 ductor, that my curiofity was never 
 fo ardent, that my love of truth was 
 never fo violent and iiTeiiftible, as 
 to incline me again to fludy in your 
 glafs.' 
 
 The man of the moon fmiling 
 faid, ' The difcovery oi fpe dilative 
 errors will, at moft, coft you a 
 blulh ; and they will frequently ex- 
 cite your laughter.* Upon this 
 Ch — s F~x confentcd to receive a 
 few inftruclions from the mirror of 
 truth. 
 
 K 3 CHAP. 
 
[ H^ 3 
 
 C H A P, V- 
 
 THE MOST EXPRESSIVE IMAGES OF VICE 
 AND VIRTUE, AND OF ERROR AND 
 TRUTH. 
 
 f TT THY do you ftart, Charles, 
 W as if you were in fome 
 great and imminent danger ? Be 
 aflbred, that while you are in this 
 planet, nothing Ihall befal you but 
 good/ 
 
 * O horrid monfter ! the man of 
 THE PEOPLE replied, I never before 
 wanted words to exprefs my feel- 
 ings. But this is a new fenfation; 
 nor could fuch another be excited 
 by an aggregation of whatever is 
 
 moft 
 
MAN IN THE IMOON. 143 
 
 moft hideous and execrable on 
 earth !' 
 
 A creature, if that may be called 
 a creature which had no fhape or 
 form analagous to any animated be- 
 ing known on this terreftrial globe, 
 came rolling towards him, and ap- 
 proaching ftill nearer and nearer, 
 by various glances and movements, 
 feemed to indicate a fympathy with 
 MAN. It was a rude and unformed 
 foetus, exceeding the ordinary lize of 
 mankind, and appeared to be the pro- 
 duction of fome daemon who had 
 felt a fatisfa6lion in countera(fling the 
 plaflic power of nature. Legs, arms, 
 fingers and toes, and membranes, 
 and glands, and entrails, and teeth, 
 were blended into one horrible mafs 
 K 4 of 
 
144 MAN IN THE MOON. 
 
 of confuiion. What the elegant 
 modedy of nature ftudies to ihadc^ 
 was in that monfter moft prominent 
 and confpicuous. There were placed 
 the tongue with one eye, which 
 darted all the pruriency of every evil 
 luil and paffion. The other eye 
 with the nofe, was lodged in what 
 appeared to be the ftomach^ which 
 was on the outfide of the hideous 
 mafs, and ever yawning like an open 
 grave, full of rottennefs and dead 
 men's bones. The monfter came for- 
 ward, now creeping on its excoriated 
 ilefli and bones ; and now leaping 
 like a frog, or fpringing like a fer- 
 pent. It howled hideoufly as it ad- 
 vanced, w^hether from pain, or fear, 
 or whether it exprelTed in that man- 
 ner fome foul delire or paffion. A 
 
 group 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. I45 
 
 group of animals around it, fed, or 
 careiefsly played, or reclined on a 
 grafly plain. Birds and beafts fled 
 at its approach : but a youth about 
 twenty years of age, far from fhun- 
 ning, met its embraces, and mingled 
 with the monfter in horrid love. 
 
 Ch— s F — X ftood petrified with 
 horror. The blood at nrft retreated 
 with precipitation to the heart, leav- 
 ing the extremities pale and trem- 
 bling. But an excefs of Ihame fud-. 
 denly repelled it from the heart to 
 the countenance, and a violent has- 
 morrhage at the nofe was the effed of 
 the copious influx. In the prefence 
 of his celeftial conduclor, he bluflied 
 at the brutality of lull, and at the 
 degrading picture he viewed of hu- 
 man 
 
146 MAN IN THE MOON. 
 
 man nature. ' From this reprefen- 
 tation, faid the genius of the moon, 
 you learn the intimate connection 
 that fublills between virtue and 
 truth ; and that moral differences are 
 not felt by inflinct, but apprehended 
 by the active energy of the intelled:, 
 as I have already obferved. Let 
 order, harmony, proportion, and iit- 
 nefs, or by whatever name men ex- 
 prefs the operations of reafon, let 
 thefe now difplay their power, and 
 manifeft the fuperiority of wildom 
 and virtue over error and vice.' 
 
 A figure exactly refembling the 
 defcription the poets give of Mercury, 
 inftantly defcended from heaven, and 
 touched the monfter with his rod. 
 A virgin immediately fprung up, 
 
 majellic 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. I47' 
 
 majeftic and tall, and diftinguilhed 
 by that fpecies of beauty which ra- 
 ther commands efteem, than infpires 
 love. 
 
 Quails in Eurotse ripis, aut per juga Cynthi 
 Exercet Diana choros, 
 
 A train of nymphs attended the god- 
 defs, lefs majefiic in their ftature 
 and port, although to an human 
 eye more winning fair, more ami- 
 ably mild. They drov^e the wild 
 boar from the thickets of Cynthus. 
 The zephyrs fanned their glowing 
 faces Their hair floated in the air 
 like a thoufand llreamers, on a day 
 of rej oicing, from the lofty top-mafl 
 heads of a proud fleet. In the courfe 
 of the chace they almoft touched 
 Ch — s F — x's nofe, while they ikim- 
 
 med 
 
148 MAN IN THE MOON. 
 
 med along the flowery brow of Cyn- 
 thus. ' Tally ho!' cried the man 
 OF THE PEOPLE, and bv an involun- 
 tary motion ftretched out his arms 
 to catch one of the nymphs who 
 was in the rear. — ' Whic^ of all 
 thefe beauties, Charles, faid the lunar 
 regent, would you choofe to re- 
 tire with into that myrtle grove ?' 
 -— *^ That flender angel with the ex- 
 preflive eye, who refembles Ferd'itaJ* 
 
 —Said THE MAN OF THE MOON, 
 
 ' Both the nymph and Ferdiia are 
 fine women, but the goddcfs herfelf 
 for my money. That haughty bold- 
 nefs that fits in majeftic ferenity on 
 her fevere eye-brow, Charles, is the 
 fublime^ the true perfection of beauty. 
 If your tafle were more exalted and 
 refined, you would prefer fuch a 
 
 noble 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. I49 
 
 noble expreffion and air as give dig- 
 nity to the countenance and mien 
 of Mrs. Siddons on the ftagc, and 
 
 Lady M S 1 in real life, to 
 
 all the languiihing foftnefs of Mifs 
 F n^ or the fweeteft face in Eng- 
 land. The inhabitants of the fkies> 
 Charles, prefer Diana and Minerva 
 even to Venus.' ^ Do they indeed? 
 faid Ch—s F— X, pray be fo good 
 to call up the Cyprian goddefs. I 
 have a mighty curiofity to fee her ; 
 for I proteft that I have been ena- 
 moured, in tlie Tufcan gallery, with 
 her very ftatue.' ' O Charles, Charles, 
 faid THE MAN OF THE MOON, 1 plainly 
 perceive that you are better pleafed 
 to furvey the fine women of this 
 place, than to lillen to moral inftruc- 
 tions. 1 fhall indulge you with a 
 
 fieht 
 
150 MAN IN THE M O ^7. 
 
 fight of the mofl exquifite beauties, 
 by and by ; real flefh and blood. 
 As to your goddefies, Charles,^ don't 
 you know, that as divine as they 
 appear, they have no other than 
 aerial bodies, which yield to the 
 touch like water, and which you 
 might even cli:lipate for a moment 
 by blowing hard upon them with 
 your mouth?' ' I think, faid Charles, 
 I have read fomewhere, that fuch 
 was the opinion that was entertained 
 of the gods by Epicurus : but I con- 
 fefs I fhould prefer more fubjlantial 
 beauties, though mere mortals.* 
 
 ' Come, Ch — s F — x, we have 
 prated too long of love and beauty : 
 I will communicate fome wonderful 
 ideas to your mind on thefe fubje^ls 
 
 on 
 
MAN IN THE M-0 N. t^t 
 
 on a future occafion. In the mean 
 time, take another peep in my glafs, 
 and tell me what you fee.' 
 
 ' Man of the moon, I am quite 
 aftoniilied. I fee ten thoufand thou- 
 fand objecls pafiingand repalling be- 
 fore my eyes, in rapid fucceffion, 
 like fo many Chinefe Ombres at 
 Mr. Aftley's riding-fchool ! They 
 ever and anon change their fize, 
 their colour, their proportions ; in- 
 fomuch that the fame objeci: appears 
 now fmall, now large ; now black, 
 now white; now lovely, nov/ all 
 deformed and deteilabk. My God! 
 fee ! there goes a lovely young cou- 
 ple into the jeffamine bovv^er, in all 
 the raptures of love. But ah! how 
 changed the fcene! They look at 
 
 one 
 
152 MAN IN t"h E MOON, 
 
 one another with mutual averlion : 
 the lady is carefTed by a dwarf, and 
 the gentleman has fallen on his knees 
 to an Aberdeen filh-woman f . But 
 what an infinite variety of fluclua- 
 tions, contradictions, and abfurdities, 
 have danced before my eyes during 
 the Ihort fpace in which I have given 
 vent to my furprife ! what a change- 
 ling is man? and how tranfient 
 are his moll rooted opinions and 
 paflions !* 
 
 * Ch — s F — X, tell me what you 
 now fee ?' 
 
 * I fee nothing but an immenfe 
 field of white paper, more fpacious 
 
 f The ultimatum of deformity is found 
 among the fifh-women of Aberdeen, See Pen- 
 nant's Tour. 
 
 to 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. 1 53 
 
 to my appreheniion than Salifbury- 
 Plain.'- 
 
 ^ Come forth, ye metaphyficiana 
 of all ages and nations, ye moralifts, 
 theologians, and commentators, both 
 on divinity and law, and write down 
 your refpeclive opinions on the im- 
 portant fubjecls that have fo long 
 engaged your attention, for the 
 inftru^lion of my worthy friend, 
 Ch — s F — X.' 
 
 The white plain was inflantly co- 
 vered with lawyers, phiiofophers, 
 and divines in the refpeclive habits 
 of the times and countries in which 
 they lived. They attempted to deli- 
 neate their ideas by various repre- 
 fentations taken from objects of fenfe. 
 
 Vol. I, L But 
 
154 MAN IN THE MOON. 
 
 But the lines by which they endea- 
 voured to bound thofe fimilitudes, 
 were fo obfcure in themfelves, and 
 fo frequently interfefted the lines 
 employed by one another, that the 
 whole plain feemed, at firft fight, 
 one blot : nor could the devil him- 
 felf, after the moft painful attention, 
 unravel the blended ftrokes of their 
 hoilile and interfering pencils. 
 
 * What do you think of thefe 
 learned gentlemen, Ch — s F — x ?' 
 
 * Upon my word, Sir, I think 
 they give themfelves a great deal of 
 trouble to no purpofe. And yet 
 what fire and vehemence in their 
 countenances! What lit tie thin figure 
 is he fo bufily employed in drawing 
 
 figures. 
 
Man in the mooK. 155 
 
 figures, with a very fharp ftylus? He 
 feems to afFecl greater order and ar- 
 rangement in his drawings, than thofe 
 who have not advanced fo near us 
 on the plain/ — ^ What little figure ?' 
 — That which is fo like a member 
 of our Houfe? I mean Mr. Elwes/ 
 
 ' Oh ! That is Ariflotle/ 
 
 ^ And who are thefe that have 
 their eyes fo intently fixed on the 
 fame philofopher ? It is no wonder 
 they make fuch pitiful fcrawls ! They 
 keep their eyes on Ariflotle, and 
 never look to their ov;n pencils.' 
 
 ' Thefe, Charles, are Ariflotle's 
 commentators.* 
 
 L 2 ' There 
 
156 MAN IN THE MOON. 
 
 * There is a broad-ihouldered man 
 a few yards behind Ariilotle, not 
 unlike our Speaker, with his eyes 
 turned up towards heaven. Although 
 his lines are not fo accurate as thole 
 of Ariftotle, there is a fuperior luflre 
 and beauty in his colouring.' 
 
 * You mean the divine Plato.* 
 
 * And who is he without a ftylus 
 of any kind, who fits with his legs 
 folded under him like a Turk, or a 
 London taylor, occafionally talking 
 to thofe around him, and often fmil- 
 ing. There is a great deal of good 
 humour under thofe heavy brows* 
 He looks very like Lord North.' 
 
 * That, Charles, is Socrates.^ 
 
 ' What 
 
MAN IN THE M O N, 157 
 
 ^ What tall grim fellow is he, very- 
 near us^ fo like the prefent Chan- 
 cellor r 
 
 « Martin Luther,' 
 
 ^ What little, thick, fierce perfon- 
 age who is ftill nearer us ?* 
 
 * John Knox.' 
 
 ^ Who is the large fat man with a 
 fpunge in one hand, and a pencil in 
 another ? He makes fisrures as well 
 
 o 
 
 as the red: of the philofophers ; and 
 afterwards daflies all the field around 
 with his fpunge.' 
 
 ^ He, Sir, Is the celebrated David. 
 Hume.' 
 
 L 3 « What 
 
158 MAN IN THE MOON. 
 
 * What childifh occupations arc 
 thefemen engaged in, faid the man 
 OF TPiE PEOPLE. A number of chil- 
 dren employed in making whimfical 
 figures on a bank of fand, are not 
 greater triilers than thefe felf-import- 
 ant perfonages.' 
 
 ' You are miftaken, my good 
 friend : the wranglings of thefe men, 
 are often attended with the moll 
 important political confequences. A 
 few fcenes will imprefs the truth of 
 this on your mind with greater ener- 
 gy than the longeft difcourfe. Look 
 into the glafs, and tell me what 
 you fee.' 
 
 * I fee men of imperial port, ar- 
 rayed in purple, and feated on thrones, 
 
 refigning 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. 159 
 
 refigning their fcepters into the hands 
 of monks.' 
 
 * This, Charles, has frequently 
 happened, from the difputes con- 
 cerning the religious tenets of Arius 
 and Athanafius, down to the end of 
 the laft century. — Look again into 
 the muTor, and tell me what you fee.* 
 
 ^ I fee an innumerable multitude 
 of old and young, men and women, 
 priefts and foldiers, monks and mer- 
 chants, peafants and mechanics, with 
 croiTes in their hands, fetting out 
 with madnefs in their looks on fome 
 great expedition.' 
 
 L 4 ' Thefe, 
 
l60 MAN IN THE MOON. 
 
 * Thefe, Charles, are the chrifllans 
 inarching againfl the muflblmen, for 
 the purpofe of retaking Jerufalem, 
 and for the recovery of the holy land 
 out of the hands of the Infidels.— 
 Look into the glafs again/ 
 
 ^ Ah inhuman favages ! See how 
 they flay a dead corpfe ! Others drefs 
 in an inftant the fkin of their fellow- 
 creature, and ftretch it on poles. A 
 prieft beats on it with violence, 
 and thoufands around him marfhal 
 themfelves in order of battle.' 
 
 * Thefe, Charles, are the Huilites 
 of Bohemia, making a drum of the 
 Ikin of John Ziska their leader, at 
 his own dying requeft. This drum 
 was long the emblem of victory, and 
 
 animated 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. l6l 
 
 animated the Bohemian brethren to 
 a oflorions and fuccefsful refiftance 
 of their perfecuting enemies.' 
 
 The man of the moon then ex- 
 hibited a picture of the maffacre of 
 Paris, begun on the memorable eve 
 of St. Bartholomev/'s day, 1572, in 
 which forty thoufand Hugonots 
 were flain in the courfe of a few 
 days. Immediately after he difplay- 
 ed the great rejoicings that were 
 made on that horrid occafion in the 
 courts of France, Rome, and Spain. 
 The devout catholics go in procefii- 
 on to the churches ; they return 
 public thanks to God ; they fing Te 
 Deums,*they celebrate jubilees, they 
 ftrike medals, and enaci: that St. Bar- 
 fbolomew's day fliould ever be kept 
 
 with 
 
ibl MAN IN THE MOON. 
 
 with double pomp and folemnity. 
 Having reprefentedthefe things with 
 a perfect accuracy, the god of fancy 
 inverted his mirror, and looking 
 
 gravely in Ch s F — x's face, faid, 
 
 ' Such are the effefts of the crofs 
 lines which you hold in fo great de- 
 rifion.' 
 
 CHAP. 
 
[ 1^3 ] 
 
 CHAP. VL 
 
 The man of the people, after 
 taking a few more peeps intothe 
 mirror of truth, is entertained 
 by him of the moon with a dis- 
 course on metaphysics. 
 
 « TT TELL, Ch s F— x, have 
 
 V V you any inclination to take 
 another peep into the mirror of truth?* 
 
 * Upon my foul I have looked in- 
 to your glafs till my eyes ach/ 
 
 * Come, come, we lliall foon have 
 done. Your optic nerves will not 
 be ftrained in the leaft by what I am 
 
 about 
 
164 MAN IN THE MOON. 
 
 about to fhew you. Here, look 
 boldly, and tell me what you fee.' 
 
 * Man of tpie moon, you either 
 mean to deceive me, or I have loft 
 all power of feeing. I am quite in 
 darknefs. I fee nothing at all.' 
 
 * Now Ch — s F — X, your cure is 
 more than half completed. Your 
 eyes were one great fource of error. 
 That evil I have, in a great meafurc, 
 remedied. You are approaching \.o 
 true wifdom. Look again, m.y friend, 
 and tell me what you feel.' 
 
 ^ Man of tke moon, I feel no- 
 thing at all. I have no bodily feel- 
 ing. I have no hunger, no talle, 
 no fniell. I am neither moift, nor 
 
 dry. 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. 165 
 
 dry, nor hot, nor cold. Reftore 
 my fcnfes for God's fake, or take 
 away my being.' 
 
 * Ch— s F — x, you arc approach- 
 ing to perfection. Look again, 
 Charles, and tell me what you fee, 
 for objecls will now appear to you 
 in a new iio:ht.' 
 
 * Man of the moon, I am aflo- 
 niilicd. I fee St. Paul's church no 
 bigger than a rat, and capering like 
 a dancincT bear. It's center of Rra- 
 vity, which I before imagined to be 
 a point, is a real animal, and howls 
 hideouily, my God ! for fear of tum- 
 blino;. See how it ftartsat the rum- 
 bling of every coach! and running 
 from one pillar to another, is perpe- 
 tually 
 
l66 MAN IN THE MOON. 
 
 tually hauling, and pulling, and 
 making faft, like a bufy fail or on 
 Ihip-board in the midft of a florni.' 
 
 * Ch— s F — X, faid the lunar fo- 
 vereign, it is my defign by this re- 
 prefentation to convey to your mind 
 thefe leflbns. Firft, St. Paul's ap- 
 pears to your enlarged opticks a very 
 diminutive obje^l. Every carriage, 
 every breeze fliakes it as they pafs ; 
 and you rightly conclude that it can- 
 not be of long duration. This build- 
 ing is one of the greateft, as well as 
 the moil durable works of human 
 art, if we fpeak in relation to human 
 bodies, and to human apprehenfions. 
 But as it is feen by my eye, and by 
 the eyes of all beings who, like me, 
 are indulged with a very compre- 
 
 henfive 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. 167 
 
 henfive view of the univerfe, it ap- 
 pears very fmall indeed, and perifli- 
 able. It is furrounded by an atmo- 
 fphere of its fubftance, worn into 
 dufl, and within a few hundred 
 years, which the quick revolution 
 of your ideas calls a long time, it 
 will be no more. The infe<fl of the 
 pool, who lives but one day, thinks 
 his time as long as your's, becaufe 
 all his ideas are formed, and all his 
 plans executed with a promptitude 
 and activity which as far exceed the 
 utmoft adivity of your mind, as his 
 fizc comes fhort of that of your 
 body. He eats like you, he drinks, 
 he fights v/ith his neighbours, he 
 dances, and plays, and goes upon 
 the buiinefs of copulation with vi- 
 gour, begets his reprefentative and 
 
 dies. 
 
l68 MAM IN THE MOON. 
 
 dies. He tliinks his life long, bccaufe 
 his ideas have been many ; and the 
 fucceffion of ideas is the only meafure 
 of duration. There is not, therefore, 
 a more pradical preacher of found 
 morality, than the metaphyfical 
 SoAME Jennings, who advifes the 
 man ' who wilhes to live long and 
 to fee good,' to be continually in 
 adlion,^ and, whatever he does, to 
 do with all his might. We ffiall 
 foon have that philofopher in the 
 lunar regions ; and I am very glad 
 at the profpecb, becaufe he will be a 
 very ingenious companion. 
 
 ' Secondly, The center of gravity 
 of St. Paul's church appears like a 
 nimble animal hopping about, and 
 pulling and hauling like a failor on 
 
 fliip- board 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. 1 69 
 
 fhip-board in a ftorm. Many things, 
 Charles, that appear to the mortals 
 of your terreftrial globe as the elFecls 
 of certain laws of inanimated mat- 
 ter, to the inhabitants of other parts 
 of the univerfe where all is anima- 
 tion, and winged cherubs in viiible 
 forms execute the grand behefts o£ 
 the Supreme Ruler, feem to be the 
 work of living agents. For as every 
 thing with which they are acquaint- 
 ed is performed by living creatures 5 
 they have no conception that any 
 thing whatever can be done without 
 til em. They naturally extend the 
 ideas that arc familiar to themfelves 
 over the univerfe ; in the flime man- 
 ner that a mufician, as Plato ob- 
 ferves, extends the reign of harmo- 
 ny to the fphcres : and as mad geo- 
 VoL. L IM metri- 
 
I yO M A N 1 N T H E MOO N. 
 
 metricians, of whom the divine Phito 
 himfclf was one, raved about tri- 
 angles, and the co-operation of three 
 powers in the government of the 
 world. Beings who know nothing 
 but animation in the diflricls of the 
 univerfe with which they are ac- 
 quainted, fuppofe that all is in Hke 
 manner animation, in thofe of which 
 they are ignorant. The analogy is 
 natural : for from what can they rea- 
 fon but from what they know ? Such 
 philofophers would efleem hordMon- 
 boddo a far greater philofopher than 
 Sir Ifaac Newton ; but Jacob Behmen 
 fuperior to both. The hiftory of 
 the Greeks and Romans, whom free- 
 dom of government confpired with 
 the operation of climate to render 
 the mofl ingenious and lively of all 
 
 mortal 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. XJl 
 
 mortal nations, proves how natural 
 it is for men to extend their ways of 
 thinking over all parts of nature, 
 and particularly that an animated 
 people form animated theories on 
 every fubjed:. Every part of the 
 moral and phyfical world, according 
 to the Grecian mythology, which 
 was alfo the Roman, was under the 
 immediate infpeclion and controll of 
 fome heavenly power, fome god or 
 goddefs, who vv'as fiipreme in his 
 own department, and who exerted 
 his influence in cppofition often to 
 that of a brother god, but without 
 coming to a dired and open rupture. 
 
 * I do not, continued the man 
 
 OF THE MOON, pretend, on this oc- 
 
 calion, to decide concerning fyflems 
 
 M 2 of 
 
172 MAN IN THE IVI O O N. 
 
 of philofophy ; far Icfs to give a pre- 
 ference to Lord Monboddo above 
 Sir Ifaac Newton. The latter phi- 
 lofopher has undoubtedly rendered 
 it probable, that many of the phse- 
 nomena of nature are fubjecl to the 
 fame law, from whatever unknown 
 agency that law may derive its efii- 
 cacy. I mean by thefe obfervations 
 to teach yon, how much you ought 
 to diftruft the conclufions of human 
 reafon, in order to cure you of dog- 
 matifm, to open your mind to new 
 imprellions, to render it docile, and 
 fufceptible of new truths. And for 
 the fame end I am now to trouble 
 you with a few remarks upon feme 
 of your Bi^itiili writers on the fublime 
 fcience of metaphylics. 
 
 * Pray, 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. 1 73 
 
 ' Pray, Ch — s F — x, faid the 
 MAN OF THE MOON, is the prefeiit 
 K of E a metaphylician?' 
 
 The man of the people flared 
 at this queilion, and remained filent. 
 
 ^ Perhaps, faid the man of the 
 MOON, this is not a fair quellion : it 
 perhaps would be high treafon to 
 anfwer it in the negative.' 
 
 ^ I fliall foon fatisfy you, faid he 
 of the people, that I do not confider 
 your queftion as in the leafl impro- 
 per : I only wondered what could 
 be the reafon of your putting it. 
 
 Our gracious f- n is, I believe, 
 
 no great adept in metaphyiics, but 
 
 I will match him for *— 
 
 M 3 
 
174- MAN IN THE MOON. 
 
 u) with any crowned head 
 
 in the folar fyftcm.' I'hc lunar 
 fovereign fmilcd, and proceeded 
 thus. 
 
 ' It was not, therefore, I prefumc, 
 upon the flrength of his own judg- 
 ment, that he beftowed an annual 
 falary on Dr. Be at tie for raiKng at 
 that ingenious perfon David Hume.* 
 
 ^ No! no! cried the man of 
 THE PEOPLE : I will tell you how 
 
 that matter flood. Lord M d, 
 
 Br. Hurd, and others, who had 
 conceived an averfion to Mr. Hume, 
 cried up his illiberal antagonift, and 
 gratified their refentment againft the 
 philofopher, by procuring a penfion 
 for the angry declaimer. For the 
 
 fame reafon Lord M d extols 
 
 the 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. I75 
 
 the chronicle, or diclionary, or what- 
 ever you pleafe to call that compila- 
 tion of Dr. Henry.' 
 
 * I will tell you, Charles, why I 
 was furprized when I learnt that 
 your k — g had beftowed a penfion 
 on Beat tie. Firft, Dr. lleid had ad- 
 vanced the fame principles, about 
 which Beattie has made fuch a flou- 
 rifli ; and laid them as deep as they 
 can be laid, even before that un- 
 lucky criticifm of Hu?ne's f which is 
 the true and ultimate fourcc of the 
 Aberdonian book about common 
 fenfe, and the immutability of truth. 
 Secondly, there is nothing either in 
 
 f When Mr. Hume was aiked what he 
 thouglit of Beattie's Poems, he anfwered, 
 " Why, I think them water-gruel poems." 
 
 M 4 Reid's 
 
176 MAN IN THE M O O K* 
 
 Reid's or Beattie's volumes, that 
 Mr. Hume does not allow. He ac- 
 knowledges, that when he attempts 
 to trace the chain that binds the 
 caufe to the effecl:, by reafoning, he 
 is utterly at a lofs; that all things 
 feem loofe and unconnected: and 
 that habit, or the cuftomary tran- 
 fition of the mind from one object 
 to another, is the true and only ori- 
 gin of our ideas concerning necef- 
 fary connexion, and of the manner 
 in which we infer the future from the 
 paft. But he alfo acknowledges that 
 when he quits the fhade, and comes 
 into open day ; when he relinquiflies 
 the refinements of philofophy, and 
 mixes in common life and a6lion 
 with the world, he feels that nature 
 is able to maintain her rights, and 
 
 that. 
 
MAN IN THE MOON. I77 
 
 that, through her irrefiftible power, 
 he thinks and uci:s like other men. 
 What in the name of ail the viceroys 
 of the univerfe, is there in the con- 
 cluiions of Reid or Bcattie, that is 
 not implied in this conceffion ? Does 
 the Bifhop of Cloyne, or does Mr. 
 Hume reject the teftimony of their 
 fenfes ? No. The enquiry or difpute 
 was not concerning the reality of their 
 fenfations^ of which they were both 
 fully convinced, but concerning the 
 caufes of thofe fenfations, and the 
 connexion of their ideas with one 
 another. To talk on this fubjed of 
 the conftitution of nature, and of 
 inftincl, is to confefs an inability of 
 explaining the manner in which 
 body operates on fpirit, and can 
 never fatisfy a philofophical inquirer. 
 
 That 
 
178 MAN IN THE MOON. 
 
 That you have fenfations and Ideas, 
 Charles, you know or feel : but you 
 cannot explore their nature and ori- 
 gin. Let this convince you, that 
 you are not omnifcient : and that 
 impreflions of truth may be made 
 on your mind in ways which you 
 can neither trace nor comprehend. 
 I have thought it neceflary to give 
 you thefe inftrudions, left youfliould 
 imagine that the impreflions I have 
 made on your brain are not real, 
 but illufory ; and that, when you 
 return to earth, you Ihould miftake 
 the moll curious and important 
 truths for the phantoms and dreams 
 of a difordered imagination. 
 
 End OF Vol. L 
 
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 are in ten. By WILLIAM BOUTCHER, Nurferyman 
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 12. THE TOILET of FLORA : Or, A Colleaion 
 of the moft fimple and approved Methods of preparing 
 Baths, Eflences, Pomatums, Powders, Perfumes, fwecc 
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 the Teeth, &c. With RECEIPTS for COSMETICS 
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 Comprehending a Defcription of the Produftions o^ Na- 
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 17. THE PRINCE of PEACE, and other Poems, 
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BOOKS printed f'.r y. MURRAY, 
 
 On TUESDAY the ift of APRIL was publifhed. 
 Price ONE SHILLING, 
 
 (To be continued Monthly) 
 
 The Third Number of a New Work, entitled 
 
 THE ENGLISH REVIEW; 
 
 or, An Abftraft of 
 
 CNGLISH artd FOREIGN LITERATURE, 
 For the Month of MARCH, 1783. 
 
 ro the PUBLIC. 
 
 The wide diflufion of Science and Literature among all 
 the clalT'es of fociety, gives birth to an enJlefs multiplicity 
 of performances, which engage the curiofity and llluftrate 
 the efforts of men in their advances to refinement and 
 perfeftion. 
 
 To exhibit a faithful report of every new Publication, 
 is an undertaking of very^extenfive utility. It afFords the 
 means of iuftruttion to the lludious, and it amufes the 
 idle. It blends knowledge and relaxation ; and ought to 
 hold out and afcertain the prcgreffive improvements, as 
 well as the reigning follies of iriankind.- It is, therefore, 
 a matter of furprize, that two publications x)niy of the 
 critical kind fliould have been able to eftablifh themfelves 
 in England. That another fhould ftart for the public 
 approbation, cannot juftly be a fubjedl of wonder, in the 
 prcfcnt enlarged condition of our literature. To cenfure 
 cftablijhed performances might, indeed, lead to a fufpi- 
 cioa of envy, and would cercainlv be ungenerous 5 but to 
 contend with them in merit ought to be underftood as 
 exprefiive of a commendable courage, and of a difpolltion 
 to excel. 
 
 I'hc work which we announce, while it has in view 
 the general purpoles of fcience and literature, in common 
 with the two l;tera!-y Journals that fTJll maintain their 
 importance, is not to be entirely confined to them. It 
 is, therefore, proper to detail with precifion, the obje€l3 
 which it means to purfue, and to cultivate. 
 
 I. It 
 
Date Due 
 
 
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 CAii>. :U 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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 fellow- cit icijs.. 
 
35.69 T466 v. 1 
 
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