Presented to Troy Conference Academy by the 
 Children of Rev. D. Storks, D. D., deceased. 
 
 
 CLASS. NUMBER ^^^p 
 
 ACCESSION &.^ .^. 
 
 M.P.STARKS p.p. 
 
 DONOR 
 
Troy Conference Acavkmf ■ 
 
PRIVATE THOUGHTS 
 
 ON 
 
 RELIGION, 
 
 AND OTHER 
 
 ^^UBJECTS CONjYECTED WITH IT. 
 
 EXTRACTED FROM THl DIAKT OP 
 
 THE REV. THOMAS ADAM, ' ' 
 
 LAfE RECtOR OF WINlfRINGHAM, * f ~^ 
 
 TO -VTHICH IS PRE3riXED ^S 
 
 JL SHORT SKETCH c5 
 
 or ^ 
 
 HIS LIFE AND CHARACTER. ^ 
 
 Prom the Fourth London Edition* ^ 
 CC 
 
 POUGIIKEEPSJE : 
 
 IfRINTED BY RUDD AND STOCKHOLIJ, 
 AND SOLD AT TIIEIK BOOK STORE. 
 
 1814. 
 
¥.v 
 
CONTEXTS. 
 
 PAGE 
 
 Life of the Author .... 13 
 
 Appendix ------- 37 
 
 Preface - - - - - - - - 53 
 
 PRIVVrE THOUGHTS ON RELIGIOV. 
 
 Chap. I. Confessions 71 
 
 Chap. II. The Scriptures - . - 109 
 
 Chap. III. God 117 
 
 Chap. IV. Human Depravity - - 127 
 
 Chap. V. Repentance ... - 16G 
 
 Chap. VI. Jesus Christ - - - . 179 
 
 Chap. VII. Faith -..,.. 187 
 
 Chap. VIII. Good Works - - - 217 
 
 Chap. IX. Christian Life - - - 224 
 
 Ch.ap. X. Charity 267 
 
 Chap. XI. Resignation - - - - 279 
 
 Chap. XII. Prayer 292 
 
 Chap. XIII. Sacrament, &c. - - 298 
 
 Chap. XIV. Pastoral Office . - - 301 
 
 Chap. XV. Heaven 305 
 
 Chap. XVI. Miscellaneous - - - 310 
 
 L. 
 
ADVERTISEMENT. 
 
 THE contents of this book made part of 
 Mr, Adam's Posthumous Works, published 
 soon after his death. As it was then foreseen, 
 that these extracts from his private Diury 
 would be esteemed the most interesting part 
 of that publication, a greater number of the 
 Volume that contained them was printed, 
 than of the other two. Yet the whole Im- 
 pression was speedily sold, and a new Edi- 
 tion of the Private Thoughts has been repeat-* 
 edly called for. They are here given to the 
 Public, by the surviving Editor of the Post- 
 humous Works, in a more convenient {brm. 
 To those Readers who have carefully consid- 
 ered the Preface that accompanied them, no- 
 thing more need be said, by way of apology, 
 for the peculiarities by which they are distin- 
 griished. But as there are many passages 
 that have given offence to some Readers, and 
 which the Editor has been solicited to soften 
 or omit, it seems necessary for him to give 
 some reasons why he cannot conscientiously 
 do this. 
 
 A 2 
 
VI iiDVERTISEM>"NT. 
 
 He has always considered the remarkable 
 honesty and fidelity with which the venerable 
 Author expressed the various exercises of his 
 heart, as one of the principal excellencies of 
 the book, and has therefore ventured to make 
 fevv or no alterations, unless by omitting 
 some repetitions of tlie same sentiment. — 
 Had he Suppressed the passages objected to, 
 this Register of the thoughts of the heart 
 would resemble a Register of the weather, 
 in which no mention was made of storms 
 or fogs, and nothing recorded but genial 
 warmth and a clear blue sky. But what is 
 ^ the use of such a Register ? 
 
 The Editor is not surprised that the men 
 of the world, Vv^ho are ignorant of them- 
 selves and the law of God, and wish to re- 
 main so, should be disgusted with our Au- 
 thor's strong penitential language ; yet he 
 knov/s not how to account for the disgust of 
 persons professing to be religious, but by 
 supposing that they themselves are not yet 
 brought to the knowledge of the Truth. — 
 For the light of Truth, shining into the soul, 
 must make the same discovery of moral ob- 
 liquity and pollution, that a sun-beam, dart- 
 ing across a room, makes of dust and impu- 
 
ADVERTISEMFNT. VII 
 
 rity, which was before unperceived. Would 
 these squeamish Readers wish us to believe 
 that their own hearts are coiistiintly free from 
 evil thoughts, and that ail within them is 
 peace unbroken and purity unmixed? What 
 hypocrisy or ignorance is this ! The holiest 
 of them must have attended very little to 
 their own hearts and ways, if they do not 
 know worse of themselves than any thing 
 our Author has confessed ; and it will be 
 happy for them if they can adopt those pas- 
 sages which express the stedlast faith, un- 
 wearied patience, strong consolation, and 
 other marks of a spiritual mind, which he 
 eminently possessed. 
 
 Should any upright Christian, after weigh- 
 ing what is said in the Preface, be still puz- 
 zled to make the existence of such evils in 
 the heart consistent with such a state of ho- 
 liness, let him try the following experiment 
 upon himself. Let him carefully attend to 
 what passes in his own mind, and commit to 
 paper his thoughts, wishes, and emotions, 
 under the different circumstances that may 
 beflil him, during the space of a week. Let 
 him, at the end of the week, read over what 
 he has written, and if he has executed his 
 
Vlll ADVERTISEMENT. 
 
 task with honesty and fidelity, he will stirt nt 
 his own ddbrniity, and be uiiabic to endure 
 the sight of it. 
 
 The Editor proH'Sses himself to be no ad- 
 mirer of those accounts oi" characters, or de- 
 vout exercises of the htart, in which the 
 brij^ht side only is displayed, since tliey leave 
 a wrong impression, and affjrd a partial view 
 of the subject. This method of describing 
 the character aiKl the heart of man, has not 
 been learnt from thr Biognipnical parts of tlifc 
 Bible, or the book of Psuimtj. Every thing 
 is recorded without disguise by the sicrcd 
 writers, both of themselves and others, though 
 we may be often tempted to wish that the 
 faults of some distinguished persons, whose 
 history is blended with that of the Church of 
 God had been concealed. Their example 
 has not been followed as it ought. Little is 
 to be found, even in the Lives and Journals of 
 those who have been eminent in the religious 
 world, but what is calculated to excite the res- 
 pect and applause of their Readers. What, 
 then, is to be expected from the comm^oa 
 class of Biographers but flattering pictures, 
 calculated to mislead mankind'. 
 
ADVliRTISEMENr. IX 
 
 Yet there are exceptions. To the honest 
 heart, the penetrating mind, and powerful in- 
 tellect of Dr. Johnson, the world is indebted 
 for a superior method of Biography. The 
 persons whose characters he has described, 
 are introduced to our acquaintance without 
 any flattering disguise, and made known to us 
 as completely as if we had enjoyed a domes- 
 tic intimacy with them. And it may be ob- 
 served, that his own character has been des- 
 cribed with equal fidelity, and that posterity 
 will view him exactly as he appeared to those 
 who had daily access to him when he was 
 alive. 
 
 Some, indeed, who dislike this honest deal- 
 ing, aflfect to lament the injury done to the 
 character of Dr. Joh»son, by the unguarded 
 communications of his friends, and particu- 
 larly by the Publication of his *' Prayers and 
 Meditations.'' Yet this book was published 
 by his own directions ; and even the peculi- 
 arities, in his devotional exercises, which may 
 be called superstitious, were permitted to ap- 
 pear without any care, on his part, to excuse 
 or conceal them. Hence it is evident that he 
 apprehended no dishonor to Ms memory, from 
 being exhibited to the world as a penitent sin^ 
 
:v ADVERTISEMENT. 
 
 aer, humbled with the review of past trans^- 
 gressions, trembling under a sense of the mar- 
 jesty of God, and imploring mercy through 
 the merits of his Saviour. Nor was Mr. 
 Adam under any concern at the thought of 
 having the secrets of his heart disclosed to 
 the world, as is evident from the Paragraph 
 with which the Chapter containing his Con- 
 fessions concludes.* Both had discernment 
 to see their own faults, and honesty enough 
 to confess them. Both abhorred hypocrisy 
 and guile, and wished not to appear better 
 than they were. And surely they have not 
 suffered on this account in the esteem of the 
 truly Wise and Good, unless a person can be 
 wise or good who judges of characters by 
 rules contrary to those which determine the 
 Judgment of God. For ** thus saith the 
 Lord, to this man will I look, even to him 
 that is poor and of a contrite spirit, and treni- 
 bleth at my word." 
 
 W. R. 
 York, March U, 1803. 
 
 •Vid.p. 108',, 
 
A SHORT SKETCH 
 OF THE 
 
 LIFE ANB CHARAC3TER 
 
 OF 
 
 THE AUTHOR. 
 
 1 HE Rev. Thomas Adam, author of the 
 following work, was born at Leeds, in the 
 West- Riding of Yorkshire, Feb. 25, 1701 ; 
 hisfatliei*, Mr. Henry Adam, was of the 
 profession of the law, and town-clerk of that 
 corporation. He married Elizabeth, daugh- 
 ter of Jasper Blythman, Esq.* recorder 
 there, by whom he had six children, Jas- 
 per, Heniy, Thomas, Katherine, Elizabeth, 
 and Sibyl. 
 
 Our author, Thomas, was first put to 
 the public grammar-school in that town, un- 
 der the care of the pious and worthy Mr. 
 Thomas Bar nerd, f then head- master of 
 
 * "Elizabeth, tlie mother of Jasper Blythman, Esq. re- 
 corder of Leeds, was one of the twenty children of Sir 
 John Stanhope, -which were boi'n and baptized (besidei 
 two which were still born) before either he or bis lady 
 were forty years of age.*» 
 
 f Author of Che Life and Character of Lady Eliza- 
 bt\h Hastings. 
 
14 LIPE OF THE AUTHOR. 
 
 that school, and afterwards to the scliool at 
 Wakefield ; from whence, about the usual 
 tmie of Viih, he went to Christ's College, 
 Cambridge. But, after )Ae had resided there 
 about two years, he removed to Hart-Hall 
 (now Hertford College) in Oxford, under 
 the care of that fanK)us disciplinarian, Dr. 
 Newton, (head of that seminary, and its 
 founder as a college) for whose memory in 
 that capacity tie ever retained the highest 
 respect. 
 
 He took the degree of Bachelor of Arts 
 only, as he had imbibed the doctrine of the 
 indefensible nature of pluralities from Dr. 
 Newton, whose masterly Treatise on that 
 subject is well known ; and, therefore, con- 
 cluded it a needless expense for him to pro- 
 ceed any farther in academical degrees. 
 
 By the interest of an uncle, a person of 
 some eminence in the profession of the law, 
 and who had been of singular service to the 
 family of the patron, about the year 1724 he 
 was presented to the living of Wintringham, 
 in Lincolnshire, of which he continued rec- 
 tor fifty-eight years ; but not being of age to 
 take possession, it was held for him by a 
 friend for about a year. 
 
 Not long after he setded at Wintringham, 
 his uncle, who seemed much set upon the 
 advancement of so promising a nephew, 
 urged him greatly to come up to London to 
 show himself, as he termed it, concluding 
 this to be the most likely way to recommend 
 
LiiL OF THE AUTHOR. 15 
 
 him to the flivour uf those who were most 
 able to advapxe hlin m the world ; but v/hen 
 Mr. Adam understood that his view was to 
 put him in the way of more preferment, he 
 was so tar froinem-bracing- this advantageous 
 proposal, that he thought it his duty to de- 
 cline the invitation in as civil a manner as 
 he could, at the same time returning for 
 ans^\'er t/iat it was incuinbent upon him to be 
 with his Jlock at Wuitringham ; an answer 
 M'hich gave gi'eat offence to his uncle, as it 
 frustrated all his well-meant schemes for his 
 promotion and advancement in the church. 
 
 Nor did he ever afterwards depart from 
 the sam.e disinterested determination to re- 
 fuse all additional preferment. 
 
 V/hen Dr. Thomas was promoted to the 
 bishoprick in Lincoln, our author, whose 
 good behaviour ?X the university had gained 
 him the esteem of his governors there, was 
 strongly recommended by them to his pecu* 
 liar notice, as one whom he would fmd 
 more especially deserving, amongst his 
 clergy, of his attention and regard. And it 
 is very probable that we find him, in conse- 
 quence of this, appointed to preach before 
 his lordship at Gainsboroue^h, at his pri- 
 mary visitation there. But how much so- 
 ever the bishop might be at any time dis- 
 j)osed to befriend him, he gave him to un- 
 derstand that he was perfectly satisfied with 
 what he at present had, then not quite two 
 
16 LIFE OF THE AUTHOK. 
 
 Hundred pounds per annum, nor ever meam 
 to engage in any second charge. 
 
 Not many years after his coming to Win- 
 ttingham, Mr. Adam thought proper to 
 change his state of hfe, by marrying Susanna,, 
 the eldest daughter of the Rev. Mr. Cooke, 
 vicar of the neighbouring parish of Roxby, 
 by whom he had one only daughter, who 
 died in her infancy ; and, after having lived 
 together with much comfort during thirty 
 years or more, in the year 1760, he was 
 called upon to resign this dearest earthly • 
 treasure into his hands from whom he had 
 received her. How greatly he was affected 
 by this loss, and the truly Christian manner 
 in which he bore it, will be best shewn by 
 a meditation* on the subject, found amongst 
 his papers, in his own hand- writing, after his 
 decease. 
 
 There is nothing in our Author's History, 
 after this period, which calls for particular 
 notice. An uninteresting sameness of e- 
 vents must almost necessarily attend a life 
 passed in the obscure shade of country re- 
 tirement. We shall therefore dwell upon 
 those parts of his character as a minister 
 and a Christian, w^hich may furnish some 
 considerations not unworthy of regard and 
 imitation. 
 
 From the account which has been already 
 given of Mr. Adam's faithful attachment to 
 his parish at Wintringham, and his deter- 
 * See No. IV. Appr ndix. 
 
LIFE OF THE AUTHOR. 17 
 
 mined refusal of all additional preferment, 
 it is natural for the reader to suppose that he 
 was peculiarly diligent amongst his people, 
 an instant in season and out of season for 
 the conversion and salvation of their souls. 
 But this does not by any means appear to 
 have been the case at that time : for, though 
 he ^^'as very exact and regular in the dis- 
 charge of all the public parts of his office, 
 and his sermons had even then a zeal and 
 fervour in them beyond the generality ; yet, 
 as he himself afterwards observed to a par- 
 ticular friend, *' neither his life nor his doc- 
 trine could be of any peculiar use to them, 
 for he lived in a conformity to the world, 
 and his doctrine was contrary to the cross of 
 Christ:'^ 
 
 We lind in his private reflections (whicli 
 are here republished) a remark of his own, 
 which will fully s'now his judgement of the 
 case on the review of it many years after- 
 wards. 
 
 *' Intrusion into the ministry of worldly 
 ends, and absolute unfitness for it ; in great 
 ignorance of Christ ; great unconcern for 
 the salvation of souls; consequent sloth and 
 remissness ; squandering a large income in 
 sensual pleasure, and when I was something 
 
 * Lest this exoression should appear in any degree ol)- 
 scure to some of our readers, we would cbserve, that w-hht 
 Mr. Adam meant by it, was, that he was not preacliing- 
 Christ crucified as the four.dation of" hope for pardon and 
 jtislilication with God, but mans righteousncsh, tijus n-;:- 
 king the cross of Christ of no effect^ 
 
 B 2 
 
i& LIFE OF THE AUTHOR. 
 
 awakened, doing what I did in self-depen- 
 dence and seeking. How awful !" 
 
 How long it was after his entrance into 
 the ministry, before it pleased God to give 
 him a clearer insight into his own state, and 
 the nature of his calling, we cannot exactly 
 determine ; though it seems probable that 
 his conscience soon began to be not fully 
 satisfied. All that ^^'e can gather on this 
 head with certainty, is, that he received his 
 first impressions of a serious kind from the 
 writings of the mystics, particularly from the 
 works of Mr. Law,* which appears to be 
 farther confirmed by the peculiar intimacy 
 which he is well known to have had for ma- 
 ny years, in the middle part of his life, v.'ith 
 some ministers of these sentiments. 
 
 In this state he continued several years, 
 greatly harrassed in his mind and conscience; 
 and though now more earnest respecting 
 both his own soui and those of his people, 
 yet a stranger to real peace, and full of con- 
 tinual doubts and fears. He saw indeed the 
 law to be holy, just, and good, but found, 
 
 * The writings of Mr. Law seem to be principally usefuJ 
 in this respect. Tliey are adnnirably calculated to awaken 
 the conscience, and beget in the mind of the reader a con- 
 viction of the futility of nominal profession, and mere de- 
 cency of conduct, and l)ave in them such a strength of 
 easy reasoning", level to every capacity, r.s almost irresisti- 
 bly wins the reader's assent to the necessity of vital reli- 
 gion. I must beg leave, therefore, to differ from those 
 -who would utterly discard them, and to assert, that we 
 have not perhaps in the language a more masterly perform- 
 ance in its way, or a book better calculated to promote a 
 concern about religion, than Mr. LanxPs serious call to a </?• 
 »airt and Iwly Life. 
 
LIFE or THE AUTHOR. 1^ 
 
 after all his utmost care and endeavour to 
 fulfil it, he fell so short of its demands, and 
 was so sin fill J that he was continually un- 
 der its righteous condemnation. 
 
 It was not till about the year 1748 that 
 his mind gained any effectual relief. While 
 he continued a disciple of Mr. Law, though 
 growing in a conviction of his sinfulness, 
 and becoming more strict and serious, yet 
 still he could gain no solid peace of con- 
 science. All his strictest mortifications, or 
 multiplied exact perforrhance of duties, 
 were over- ruled by the more strict law of 
 God, whose divine spirituality he could not 
 attain to perfectly, nor save himself from its 
 just condemnation. In this situation, there- 
 fore, his soul was in great distress ; and that 
 which served to heighten it the more was, 
 that he saw the word of God, instead of 
 giving him any ground of comfort against 
 his fears, was, on the contrary, in many 
 places fully against him. Amongst the rest, 
 the epistle to the Romans was particularly 
 offensive and distressing to him in this view. 
 He perceived that it evidently struck at and 
 overthrew the very foundation of his hope, 
 and (as he then supposed) made no account 
 of a life of superior piety and godliness. 
 As he was at this time ignorant of God's 
 righteousness, and of any other way of sal- 
 vation than by the merit of his own good- 
 ness, the levelling strain of the apostle was 
 in a very high degree grating to his self- 
 
20 LIfE OF THE AUTHOP.-. 
 
 righteous pride. He could not bear to see 
 those that were esteemed good men treated 
 only as sinners, and all their best right- 
 eousness passed by as of no account to- 
 wards their justification. Hence he was 
 sensible that St. Paul taught a very different 
 doctrine from thut which he held and preach- 
 ed ; and that they were directly contrary to 
 each other in the important article of mans 
 justification and acceptance in the sight of 
 God : for being possessed of much good 
 sense and unfeigned honesty of heart, (a 
 leading feature in liis character all thro' 
 life) and being truly desirous to know, and 
 to teach his people the real truth of God's 
 word, he would not suffer his conscience to 
 be pacified and laid asleep with the too com- 
 mon way of persuading himself that both he 
 and the apostle meant, in reality, the same 
 thing, though they evidently appeared so 
 opposite ; neither could he bear the thou'ghts 
 of being a teacher of false doctrine to tiie 
 people committed to his charge, and that in 
 a point of such essential consequence. Like 
 a worthy and diligent minister of God, 
 therefore, and a faithful pastor of his flock, 
 he was determined to take all possible pains 
 to inform himself clearly on the subject : to 
 this end he applied himself, with all his 
 power, to every probable source of infor- 
 mation. Hammond, Whitby, Grotius, with 
 other of the most eminent commentators, 
 were consulted witji the utmost care and at- 
 
LIFE OF THE AUTHOR. 21 
 
 tention ; — but all in vain. These gave him 
 no relief.* He found they understood the 
 case no better than himself, and was amazed 
 to see men of sense and tmderstanding take 
 pains to impose upon themselves and others, 
 by labouring to no purpose, with much ex- 
 pense of learning and argument, to recon- 
 cile things so diametrically opposite, and to 
 unite two systems which it is the professed 
 design and intention of the apostle to op- 
 pose to each other, and to show their ne- 
 cessary and irreconcileable contradiction. 
 Rom. xi. 6. 
 
 In this situation of things he went on for 
 some time, determined not to give up the 
 point without obtaining full satisfaction, 
 though to all appearance no nearer than 
 when he first began, and even perplexed 
 more and more. He could not suppose in- 
 ^leed that St. Paul could be wrong, being 
 persuaded of ihe divine inspiration which 
 attended his writings, or that things which 
 
 * Fiom much experience and observation, it was the 
 advice of Mr. Adam, I o young divines especially, not to 
 be too ibrward in taking their sense of the scripiures from 
 commentators. And we will venture to assert the justice 
 of the caution. — If it be asked, where then cin we go in 
 cases of difficulty ? It is answered— Where ^fr. Adam 
 went, i. e. ro God in prayer ; comparing one part of tlie 
 word ot God with aiiother, and humbly looking to A/jtj ibv 
 his teaching and direction. Let this be duly tried, and 
 we doubt not its sticcess will prove the soundness of the 
 observation. A clear insiglit will liien be often given into 
 the true sense by such a sa'.isfactory solution as no com- 
 ment can afVord, and our faith stand not in the wisdom of 
 man, but in the power ot" God. Psalaa cxix. I8.*5ohn^^ 
 ■i<i5 jamcs 5. 5. 
 
22 LIFE OF THE AUTMOK. 
 
 he had written were indeed uninteliiglblc, 
 much less that he would really inculcate or 
 encourage licentiousness of life. Like a 
 truly sensible man he began to suspect that 
 the fault must be in himself, and in the sys- 
 tem which he had adopted, and tliat he had 
 not properly considered the apostle's doc- 
 trine with all its connexions and relations : 
 leaving therefore the bewildering guidance 
 of commentators and expositors, he betook 
 him.self to the fountain of all knowledge, be- 
 seeching God and himself to teach and di- 
 rect him.^ 
 
 One morning in his study, being much 
 distressed on the subject, he fell down upon 
 
 * While our autlior's mind \va« thus affected, many of 
 his friends and acquaintance feared lest he was going out 
 of his senses, through tno g-reat study and cave about re- 
 ligion — This is nothing uncommon. The little attention 
 which most people give to their souls, and the sliglit views 
 Tvhlcli they have of the evil of sin, together with their la- 
 mentable ignorance of tlie great truth's of God's word, 
 malce them form that suspicion of all who begin seriously 
 to consider the infinite importance of these things, and to 
 feel tiicir weight , wheieas it is only the just and natural 
 effect of a right conviction of sin. What should call for 
 our distressing grief, if sin against God does not ? Or 
 what shoul.'l engage all our anxiety equally with a concern 
 liovv we may obtain pardon, and rf?cover ihe divine favour ? 
 t)ur author was lost !\ere, Tlie means v/hich he had tried 
 were ineffectual. His own soul and his people's were at 
 stake ; and till this great difficulty was solved, it is no 
 wonder that his mind could find no rest. Whoever con- 
 sults the fci'iptures will find that there is nothing new in 
 sucii circunnstances. Psalms vi. xxxii. Ixxvii, cxxx. with 
 many other parts, will show a siaiilar sitnation of ihings^ 
 in the minds of the true servants of God in those times, 
 nor has it been otherwise in any age of the church ; and 
 we mal^ venture^ to assert that t/vs madvcss (if such it be 
 called) is far wiser than tl^c wisdom of t':'s world. 
 
LIFE OF THi: AUTHOR. 23 
 
 his knees before God in prayer, spread his 
 case before the Divine Majesty and Good- 
 ness, implored him to pity his distress, and 
 to guide him by his Hohj Spirit into the 
 right understanding of his own truth. When 
 he arose from his supplication, he took the 
 Greek Testament and sat himself down to 
 read the six first chapters of the Epistle to 
 the Romans, sincerely desirous to be taught 
 of God, and to receive, in the simplicity of 
 a child, the word of his revelation ; when, to 
 his unspeakable comfort and astonishment, 
 his difficulties vanished; — a most clear and 
 satisfactory light was given him into his 
 great subject : — he saw the doctrine of jus- 
 tification by Jesus Christ alone, through 
 faith, to be the great subject of the gospel — 
 the highest display of the divine perfec- 
 tions : — the happiest relief for his burdened 
 conscience ; — and the most powerful prin- 
 ciple of all constant and unfeigned holiness 
 of heart and life. He was rejoiced exc<^ed- 
 ingly ; found peace and comfort spring up 
 in kis mind ; his conscience was purged 
 from guilt through the atoning blood of 
 Christ, and his heart set at liberty to run the 
 way of God's commandments without fear, 
 in a spirit of filial love and holy delight ; and 
 from that hour he began to preach salvation 
 through faith in Jesus Christ alone, to man 
 by nature and practice lost,. and condemned 
 
24 LI1£ Oi THL AUTHOR. 
 
 under the law, and, as his own expression is, 
 . ihvays a sinner. ^ 
 
 His sermons, though before animated by 
 an honest zeal, were no longer mere lectures 
 of morality, or filled only with legal condem- 
 nation. While all godliness in principle and 
 practice was duly enforced, the enlivening 
 display of that glorious Saviour, whose worth 
 and excellence he had now tasted, and who 
 was become all his sah'atiou and all his d^ 
 sire, seasoned every discourse. 
 
 Those excellent and searching lectures 
 on the church catechism, which having met 
 with the general approbation of good men, 
 and have passed dirough sever?! editions, and 
 which discover, in so eminent a manner, the 
 able divine and the experienced Christian, 
 were the early fruit of this alteration in his 
 views of Christianity. A happy evidence 
 of the great benefit which he had hereby re- 
 ceived, and of his earnest zeal and ability to 
 communicate it for the advantage of others. 
 
 About the time that this change took 
 place, he stumbled (to use his own expres- 
 sion in the case) on some of the writings of 
 that famous champion of the reformation, 
 
 * In gfatilude to God for his great mercy in cpening" hja 
 eyes, as well as to assist such of his f^lloT^ creatures as 
 miglit be in his case, he afterwards, in the year 1771, pub- 
 lished a paraphiase of the eleven first chapters of the 
 epistle to the Romans, (in which all the doctrinal part is 
 contained) where the reader will find the whole scheme 
 of our redemption laid open in a most clear and masterly 
 manner, with many excellent improvements and observa- 
 
 U<)C8. 
 
LIFE or THE AUTHOR. 25 
 
 ^lartin Lutlier. If he had seen these in his 
 former state, when he was well contented 
 with his own righteousness, we may justly 
 suppose he would at once have rejected them 
 with the utmost disdain and abhorrence, as 
 the very quintessence of Antinomianism ; 
 and however he might reverence St. Paul, as 
 being an inspired apostle, would have made 
 no hesitation to have spurned them from him, 
 as contrary to the gospel of Christ, and sub- 
 versive of all true godliness. This many, 
 doubtless, have done through want of the 
 same divine teaching respecting their real 
 state, of which Mr. Adam was now happily 
 become the subject. But his mind being- 
 now brought dovvn, and, by the discipline of 
 the law convhicing him deeply of his sinful- 
 ness, even in his best state, he was so far 
 from being offended at the boldness of ex- 
 pression^' and freedom of sentiment which 
 
 * It will rea;'.ily be allowed, that there are in the wri- 
 tings of M.irlin I^ullier some e.xpressiors, wliicfi seem to 
 savoui* of Antinomianism, and from whic'i imputalicm it 
 woulcl be very difficuit to defend them ag-ainst a critical 
 scrutiny : — but that ihey never meant in tliat light is evi- 
 dent, not only from their admitlingof a very different sense 
 ■when candidly considered w;tb their context, but from Lu- 
 ther's writiti^s against the An -.baptists of his times on tliis 
 very account. 
 
 The ^"-enius and temper of the writer must be consider- 
 ed, as well as the age in which he liv'jd, and the funda- 
 mental errors which he combated. He was a plain blunt 
 man, and. had an aversion to tl:Ose s' fteniiigs vi'hich are so 
 fashianablo in the present day, and thought tiiey v/ouid in- 
 jure the force of what he said, and make it less pointed a- 
 ^ainst those errors which he had it in his heart to demolish. 
 And akhough such bold strokes may give offence to those 
 thflt feel nothing of his real want of a Saviour j yet they 
 
 C 
 
26 LIFE OF THE AUTHOR. 
 
 he there met with, that he perceived them to 
 be the very thing which his soul wanted, and 
 rhe doctrine of St. Paul, and that hov.-ever 
 many may effect to admire the one who yet 
 at the same time reject and make light of the 
 other, they must, in reality, stand or fall to- 
 gether ; since they both speak one aiul the 
 same thing, and all the objections which are 
 prudentially brought against the reformer, lie 
 equally, in all their force, against the inspired 
 apostle also, and against the doctrine which 
 he so strenuously inculcates. 
 
 This celebrated writer, therefore, was al- 
 ways his peculiar favorite, and often would 
 he, with much thankfulness to God, and 
 gratitude of heart, acknowledge to his friends 
 the singular help which he found from his 
 writings, particularly from his excellent com- 
 ment on the epistle to the Galatians, highly 
 recommending it to their serious perusal, for 
 its admirable use and truly evangelical doc- 
 trine.* 
 
 that know the urgency of their case, like Mr. Adam, will 
 ftncl them the only remedy that can reach their disorder. — 
 And while the cold enervated exactness of tiie wise and 
 prudent affords then" no rehef, this will be a balm to their 
 wounded consciences, and the richest cordial to their faint- 
 ing souls. And may we not add that the divine blessing 
 which has in all ages attended Luther's works, is no incon- 
 siderable argument in favor of their truth and soundness ? 
 
 * From the deficiency of our sources of information re- 
 specting- Mr. Adim. in this part of his life, it is very diffi- 
 cult to knowhov.'to arrange the two last-mentioned circum- 
 stances. Of the facts themselves we are certain, but can- 
 not positively affirm t' at we relate them in their exact or- 
 der as to time, nor indeed is it very material. 
 
LIVE or THE AUTHOR. 27 
 
 In this bicsbed and happy faith of the gos^ 
 pel lie went on from this time to the very end 
 of his days, growin.^ in grace, and in the 
 knowledge-, of hisj Lord and Saviour Jesus 
 Christ, and adorning the doctrine of God his 
 Saviour, in all things, by his truly Christian 
 life and conversation : nor did increasing 
 years, experience, and reading, give him any 
 ground to alter the opinion which he had 
 now espoused, or to d(^part from it in any 
 degree ; but, on the contrary, he was daily 
 confu'mcd mere and more both in the truth 
 and in the necessity of these doctrines, while 
 he found them, in sickness and in health, a 
 sovereign cordial to his heart, and the alone, 
 but all-sufficient support of his soul. This 
 testimony he fully bore to them in his last 
 illness, frequently repeating to his friendu 
 around \\\xx\j I find nrj fouudatioji able to 
 bear vie. 
 
 His departure was full of that serenity and 
 peace which arise from a true acquaintance 
 with Christ and his salvation. His body, 
 worn out with the repeated attacks of his 
 disorder, and wilh increasing years and in- 
 fn^mity, gradually sunk into Xho, arms of 
 death, vv-hilc his soul v/inged its happy flight 
 into the bosom of that blessed Redeemer, 
 who had long been his portion and his ali. 
 
 On the 31st day of March, 1784, and in 
 tlie 84th year of his age, he departed without 
 u groan, and sweetly fell asleep in Jesus. 
 
 Thus lived and died diis eminent servant 
 
2S LIFE or THE AUTilOR- 
 
 of Jesus Christ, full of days and full of grace ; 
 gathered as a shock of corn in its season in- 
 to the garner of his heavenly Master. May 
 we have grace to follow his good example, 
 and may the Holy Spirit lead us on by the 
 same way, to the same rest ^^'hich rcmaineth 
 for the people of God. 
 
 His character, as a scholar, was very re- 
 spectable. He had learning without osten- 
 lation, and to a good acquaintance with the 
 Greek and Latin classics, joined a conside- 
 rable knowledge of the Hebrew and the wri- 
 tings of the Fathers. But, tliough a man of 
 taste, and well able to distinguish liimself in 
 the circle of letters, he made it a point of 
 conscience to lav aside the scliolar when he 
 addressed his people, and studied to accom- 
 modate himself to the capacity of the mean- 
 est of his hearers, that none might be uned- 
 ified. 
 
 His views of the ministry were serious and 
 honorable. We have already seen how far 
 he was from looking upon it as a profession, 
 of ad\'antagc, in the answers which he gave 
 to his uncle, and to the Bishop of Lincohi. 
 He could not bear to see or to hear of the 
 prostitution of the sacred character to such 
 low and unworthy ends. A minister of Je- 
 sus Christ appeared to him a person devoted 
 to the service of God and the souls of men, 
 and therefore, not at liberty to live after his 
 own will, and spend his income as he would 
 that of 9n estate ; but, as this is appropriated 
 
LlIE OF THE AUTHOR. 29 
 
 to him out of the substance of the people for 
 the labor of their souls, he is in all duty and 
 conscience bound to reside amongst them, 
 to lay himself out for their good, and attend 
 to their benefit and instruction. ** Meditate 
 upon these things — give tliyself wholly to 
 them," was his standing motto for a minister 
 of the gospel of Christ. 
 
 His discourses, which have been already 
 published,*' sufficiently show his ability as a 
 divine, and the faithful manner in which he 
 discharged his great office amongst his peo- 
 j)le : they are full of weighty matter, and are 
 most honest and direct addresses to the lieart 
 and conscience. The heart, indeed, was 
 ever his peculiar study. Being deeply ac- 
 quainted with its exceeding deceitfulness and 
 evil, his attention was always particularly di- 
 rected here. Hence it was the great object 
 of his ministry to undeceive his fellow- crea- 
 tures respecting their own imagined right- 
 eousness, to detect them to themselves, to 
 strip them of their vain pretences, and to 
 bring them in guilty before God and their 
 own consciences. For he well knew, that 
 till this is done, Christ and his salvation are 
 of little or no value. " They that are v.hole 
 need not a physician, but they that are sick.'' 
 
 After the example of his divine Master, it 
 was his constant endeavor to establish true 
 
 * Mr. Adam published a volume of sermons in 1781, be- 
 sides some single discourses preached on different occa- 
 sions. 
 
 c 2 
 
So LIFE OF IKE AVlKOK. 
 
 humility as the ground-'work of Christ's re- 
 iigion. Not that affected resemblance of it, 
 which is often put on to please the world, 
 and leaves the heart, all the time, unhumbled 
 and only more pleased with itself, because 
 of this its supposed excellence ; but that 
 true lowliness of soul, which is founded on a 
 deep sense of its sinfulness, and exceeding 
 un worthiness before God. Hi is was the 
 humility which he labored after for himself 
 and others ; a humility proceeding from a 
 divine principle, and influencing the whole 
 man. He pitied the high and inconsiderate 
 profession of many who love to put them- 
 selves forward, and to be looked upon as 
 somebody in the religious world, and esteem- 
 ed the complaints and self- accusations of a 
 broken and contrite heart, a far better evi- 
 dence of a Christian state than the loudest 
 pretensions of the bold and self-confident. 
 
 The practical parts of Christianity had 
 ever his most sacred attention and regard, 
 and were strongly enforced as the necessary 
 and inseparable consequence of true saving 
 faith : for though no man ever gloried more 
 in the cross of Christ, or was more full and 
 clear in maintaining the doctrine of Chris fs 
 blood and righteousness as the only justifi- 
 cation and hope of the soul, yet did he ever 
 in the strongest terms inculcate that they 
 who have believed in God should be careful 
 to maintain good works.-* A strict and con^ 
 
 * See Letter No. II, Appendix. 
 
LIFE OF THE AUTHOR. 31 
 
 scientious adherence to integrity and up- 
 rightness in all our dealings, and to trutli and 
 sincerity In our words, wixs ci matter of high 
 consequence in his estimation. Hence he 
 "ntertained a attv unfavourable Oj^nion of 
 lie religion of those who could sufler them- 
 selves to deal in smuggled or prohibited 
 L-!:oods ; to neglect the duties of their station 
 :tnd calling; to gratify their pride, at the 
 expense of common honest}*, by living a^ 
 hove their income ; or to indulge in need-- 
 1( ss expences, to the injury of their fami- 
 lies, and of their ability to do good in acts 
 of charit}' and bene\olence. 
 
 The religious government of the tongue 
 was likewise a subject on which he insisted 
 very strongly, I mean as to its regulation 
 respecting the private concerns and charac- 
 ter of our neighbour. Nothing seemed to 
 hurt him more than to hear any one take 
 pleasure in speaking ill of others, or retail 
 slanderous reports to their disadvantage ; and 
 he would frequently stop them abruptly, by 
 observing to them, *' that the roots of the 
 tongue lie very deep;" or, with that re- 
 mark, '' I seldom see a fault in anotlier but 
 I look for two in myself, and they gene- 
 rally are not far to seek," 
 
 In the distribution of his time, and the 
 regulation of his family, he observed the 
 most exact order and regularity ; not merely 
 on a principle of prudence and the better 
 conducting of his business, but through a 
 
jj LIFE or THE AUTHOR. 
 
 religious sense of the importance of his*time 
 and substance, as talents received from God, 
 and of which he was sensible he must gi^ c 
 an account. 
 
 His dress, furniture, and mode of living, 
 exhibited a model of the most primitive 
 simplicity, so that in visiting him, you might 
 imagine yourself a guest with one of the 
 ancient Others rather than with a divine of 
 ^the eighteenth century : nor let any suppose 
 that this proceeded from covetousness, or 
 a base love of money ; it arose from a con- 
 viction of the exceeding evil of the waste 
 of his talent, a disapprobation of the sump 
 tuous manner of living too fashionable a- 
 mongst the clergy, and a conscientious care 
 that he might have it in his power to relieve 
 the wants of others. 
 
 In the private duties of the closet he was 
 diligent and unremitted. These he coii- 
 sidered, not only as a discharge of duty, but 
 as indispensably necessary for the life and 
 support of his soul, and as a principle means 
 of maintaining intercourse with God, and 
 gaining those daily supplies of divine grace, 
 which he stood in continual need of as a 
 minister and as a Christian. 
 
 His catition and great candour respecting 
 others, were also very remarkable, and high- 
 ly worthy of imitation ; and though he was 
 firmly established in the Gospel-faith of sal- 
 vation by Jesus Christ alone ; yet was he 
 ever ready to make great allowanees for 
 
LIFE OF THE AUTHOR. 33 
 
 men's dilFerent views of things, rand distin- 
 guished with much care between an error of 
 the head and one of the heart. 
 
 His curate one day asking him what he 
 thought of one of his people, whether the 
 person was a real Christian or not ; he seem- 
 ed to take no notice. — Some days afterwards 
 he called him aside, and said to him, — ^' Sir, 
 you asked me the other day what I thought 
 of the state of A. B. and would probably be 
 surprised that I gave you no reply ; but 
 it was not through inattention. — It is a point 
 which requires much serious consideration 
 before we determine on the state of any per- 
 son ;" and then proceeded to give his senti- 
 ments with his usual candour. 
 
 This is but one instance, out of many, 
 which might be produced, in proof, of that 
 Christian deliberation which he used in his 
 determinations in general, and of his par- 
 ticular and close attention to the cardmal 
 grace of 1 Cor. xiii. with which few were 
 better eicquainted than Mr. Adam. 
 
 The same grace of true Christian charity 
 \vas eminently displayed by him in times of 
 provocation. lie was naturally of a very 
 high and warm spirit, and evidently of very 
 quick feelings in cases of this nature. But 
 this served only the more fully to display the 
 power of that divine grace which gave him 
 such happy victory over liis passions,, that 
 his meekness and humility vt^ere the admira* 
 tion of all that knew him. A clersr vnian wlio 
 
54 LIF£ OF THE AUTHOR. 
 
 lived in his family above six years, and had 
 the opportiinily o^ seeing him at all times, 
 and in variety of circumstances, writes of 
 him thus : '' I don't recollect ever to have 
 seen his temper ruffled above once or twice 
 in all the time that I lived widi him. Wh.en 
 r.nv thing happened of a trying or provoking 
 kind, he'used to turn upon his heel, and say 
 nothing, 'till he had Uiought it over, and 
 examined whether there v/as indeed a just 
 cause for anger or not." 
 
 But this conquest of himself was not at- 
 tained to but by hard conflicts, and in the 
 exercise of much laboiu', watchfulness, and 
 prayer. He was forced to dispute his ground 
 inch by inch, and would often say, " if ever 
 grace was graUed on a crab-stock, it is sure- 
 ly in. me." 
 
 In this connexion it would be injustice to 
 omit his forgiveness of injuries. That which 
 was formerly said of Archbishop Cranmer, 
 •' Do my Lord of Canterbury a shrewd turn 
 and you make him your friend as long as 
 you live," miglit v.'ith the greatest truth be 
 applied to our worthy author. And often 
 v/ould be requite the ingratitude and rude- 
 ness of an ignorant and perverse parishioner, 
 by. taking occasion to do him some kind 
 ofnce as soon as possible. 
 
 But among all the graces which adorned 
 his Christian profession, his patience and 
 resignation under the aiBicting hand of God, 
 were most remarkable. In these he w<1s 
 
LIFE or THE AUTHOR. 35 
 
 jjcculiarly eminent, and exceeded by few 
 that wc -have either seen or read of. It 
 pleased God to aiilict him, for many years 
 before his death, with a disorder of a \'ery 
 peculiar imd trying nature, which, through 
 a similarity in some of its symptoms, was, 
 for a time, apprehended to be the stone, and 
 the reader will find frequent references to it, 
 under this description in the private thoughts : 
 but, through the whole, the power of divine 
 grace shone with a most striking splendour, 
 while nothing but meekness and submission 
 were to be seen in his deportment, and ado- 
 ration and thankfulness heard from his lips. 
 
 A prayer wliich he composed and made 
 use of, on these occasions, will give the 
 reader the fullest satisfiiction of the truth of 
 this remark.^ 
 
 His manner was rather peculiar, but it 
 ■was easy to perceive it to be the result of 
 much conscientious thought. He spake 
 little ; but what he said was full of that 
 Aveight and gravity which bespoke the phi- 
 losopher and Christian. Yet this his taci- 
 turnity, proceeding also from great natural 
 reserve, must be considered as one of his 
 chief defects, and had its unhappy influence 
 in preventing liis greater usefulness, both 
 amongst his people, and his friends in gen- 
 eral ; and he himself both saAv, and often 
 lamented it in this view. 
 
 • See Appendix No. V, 
 
36 LIPE OF THE AUTHOR. 
 
 Upon the ^vhole — as a minister — he was 
 conscientious, diligent, and regular ; faith- 
 fully attentive to his ministry, filiing up his 
 office with great integrity, and adoriiing it 
 by a suitable life and conversation. 
 
 As a Christian — he was humble, serious, 
 and devout ; a sincere follower of his great 
 Master; sound in the faith and hope of the 
 gospel, and truly exemplary in t very good 
 word and work : an affectionate husband, 
 steady fritnd, kind neighbour, and in.julgent 
 master : and, to sum all in the words of the 
 worthy clergyman, in a letter before refer- 
 red to, ** If his real character could be held 
 forth, it w^ould ^veli deserve an attentive re- 
 view and imitation. And though it may 
 be expected that some may think light of it, 
 and others sneer at it, as too precise and 
 primitive, I doubt not he will one day ap- 
 pear great, and be numbered among the 
 worthiest who will shine forth as the sun in 
 the kingdom of their Father." 
 
 JAMES STILLINGFLEET. 
 
 Hotham, 178-5. 
 
APPENDIX 
 
 The following LETTERS of Mr. Adam, 
 written at different times, a?id two other 
 papers referred to in the foregoing rela- 
 tion, will help to illustrate this short sketch 
 of his character. 
 
 No. I. 
 
 TO A LADY IN CORNWALL. 
 
 Nov. 19, 1756. 
 Madam, 
 
 PERMIT me to cotigratulate you on your 
 happy deliverance from the religion in fash- 
 ion ; by which I mean a creditable profes- 
 sion, widiout that knowledge of the heart 
 which brings us hungering and thirsting to 
 Christ for the relief we want, and which 
 he came from the bosom of the Father to 
 offer us. 
 
 That such a profession may consist with 
 a secret deep-rooted love of the world, and 
 indulgence to almost every vanity of it, wc 
 have thousands of w^itnessess, who, never 
 suspecting the goodness of their state, can- 
 not bear to have it called in question, and 
 almost necessarily dislike reproach, and hate 
 those who condemn them, by turning from 
 their ways and maxims. This is one of 
 
 D 
 
38 APPENDIX. 
 
 the greatest difficulties in the ^vay of a 
 thorough conversion, and needs all the au- 
 thority of that dreadful denunciation, "who- 
 soever shall be ashamed of me, &;c." to 
 support us under it. I pray God send it 
 with all its weight to your heart and mine, 
 and enable us to make a steady confession 
 of the gospel in its truth and purity, as op- 
 posite to our natural views, tempers, and 
 aflections, and calling us to an experimental 
 knowledge of God, and a new state of holy 
 communion with him. 
 
 How delightful a thing it is to count, and 
 not to count but feel, the Christian's gains — 
 faith and fidelity ; peace with God through 
 Jesus Christ ; a renewed will ; increasing 
 love ; and hope full of immortality ! And 
 how short is the time of our suffering ! if 
 upon the whole we do suffer and are not 
 richly compensated, even here, in every 
 condition by the afore-mentioned advanta- 
 ges. Go on, Madam, knowing whom you 
 have chosen, and let neither your own weak- 
 ness, nor the frowns of the world terrify 
 you. Christ will have his grace exalted, in 
 opposition to all discouraging, unbelieving 
 thoughts from the former, and a faithful ac- 
 cqvr.ance of it, and establishment in it, will 
 make you victorious over the latter. 
 
 Never to ask ourselves what our great 
 wai.t is, or what we should ask of God if we 
 might have the wish of our hearts, is great 
 blindness and stupidity; an^ yet it is the 
 
APPEiNDIX. 39 
 
 case, PiOt only of the grossly irreligious, but 
 of all those who are in the practice of aa ex- 
 ternal form onbj, 
 
 Tiie avvakcnino' of the soul from this sleep 
 of nature is necessarily the first step toward 
 a recovery. 
 
 To know that we want remission of sin, 
 and strength against it ; a will to live to the 
 glory of God, and mercy to save in our 
 very best estate ; and that the gospel comes 
 home to our case in every one of these 
 points, answers all our wishes, and reveals 
 our wants only to relieve them, is illumina- 
 tion in the understanding. 
 
 But the great work is still to come, w^hich 
 is the spiritual life of faith, or the closing of 
 the hearty resolutely and fully, with this 
 blessed scheme of redemption. 
 
 May God Almighty support and bless 
 you in the benefit of this redemption, com- 
 fort you in the blood of Christ, and carr\- 
 you on swiftly in the way of holiness, con- 
 formity to the cross, and self-renunciation. 
 As Christ hs^s wrought salvation by himself, 
 and gotten the victory for us with his own 
 right hand, he must have the whole glory of 
 our recovery. But though he wants nothing 
 of ours to make his payment full weight, 
 and scorns whatever we can offer him by way 
 of purchase, he expects and is well pleased 
 with the free tender of our service ; and all 
 he has done and suffered fails of its end, if 
 it does not make us a willing people. 
 
40 APPENDIX. 
 
 You, dear lady, love the Lord Jesus ia 
 sincerity. Love him more,, that *you may 
 be still more happy in him, and taste more 
 of his love. Make communion with him, 
 and access to God by him, the delight of 
 your soul, and the great end you live for. 
 Love his commands, because they are his, 
 and then not one of them will be grievous. 
 Love his friends because they are such ; 
 and his enemies, to wish and make them his 
 friends. 
 
 I write not to instruct you, who are much 
 higher in the divine school than myself; 
 nor can I have any end in flattering you, as 
 I am unknown. But my desire is to ani- 
 mate you to ^ardour and perseverance in the 
 p-lorious race ; and my liope is, that what- 
 ever state you are in, you will set no value 
 upon present attainments, but be always 
 pressing on to still greater heights. A pro- 
 gressive- state is always a hopeful one, be- 
 cause it is both sincere and self- condemn- 
 ing ; and if it has one eye upon perfection, 
 keeps the other steadily fixed on Christ. 
 To him, your Saviour, gracious helper, and 
 bountiful re warder, I commend you, and 
 myself to your prayers, and am, from afar 
 country. 
 
 Madam, 
 
 Your's in Christian sincerity, 
 T. ADAM, 
 
A??£NI)IX» 41 
 
 No. 11. 
 
 TO THE REV. :ME. BURNETT. 
 
 June 27, 1760. 
 Dear Sir, 
 
 I A M letters in your debt, and should 
 certainly have wrote before now, if I had 
 not expected you every week. My wife 
 too has been desiring it v/ith great good 
 will, and some degree of impatience. Alas ! 
 she is in a very weak condition, and I fear 
 sinking under the infirmities of a broken 
 constitution. God be gracious to her. — 
 Help us with your prayers. I hope she 
 knows her refuge, and flies to it. Nothing 
 in life or death for strong consolation like 
 our great High Priest, and his atonement 
 for sinners. It is very mortifying to Nature 
 to be saved as the thief upon the cross was ; 
 but there is no other way, and in our best 
 estate we are brands plucked out of the fire. 
 Settle yourself and your hearers upon this 
 ground. If our good works follow us, we 
 are beholden to our faith for them, and to 
 faith, first and last, for our whole salvation. 
 I hear you are labouring hard in conjunc- 
 tion with Mr. Venn, to whom I desire my 
 best respects. Go on, and the blessing of 
 God go along with you. Keep a watchful 
 eye on the risings of pride. It will beset 
 you on all occasions, and success or di§ap- 
 D 2 
 
^ APPENDIX. 
 
 pointment, evil report and goccl report, will 
 ;\dcl fuel to it. 
 
 I have received a dozen franks from Lord 
 D. for the use of Mr. Venn. I suppose his 
 work goes on. Though it is a delicate 
 affair, his light and spirit will carry him 
 through. The whole dutt/ of man is in 
 possession of the general esteem, and in 
 many hands ; but for that very reason the 
 hisufficiency of it, as not answering the 
 title, should be laid open. To do justice to 
 it, it is perhaps the compietest system of 
 Christian ethics we have. I never read a 
 section of it without being convinced by it 
 of sin ; and in that view, as well as a di- 
 rectory to those who are aiming at perfec- 
 tion under Christ, it is of great use, and 
 cannot be too much commended. The a- 
 pology commonly made for its defect, in 
 not laying the foundation of Christian doc- 
 trine, is, that it was wrote at a time ^vhen 
 faith was disgraced by practice. Ever since,, 
 things have been wheeling about to the 
 other extreme ; and there has long been a 
 necessity of insisting on the glorious pecu- 
 liarities of the gospel, and reminding men 
 that there is no possibility of being in the 
 way of duty without the love of God ; 
 which can never take place in the heart with- 
 out a sense of redeeming mercy. Moral ^ 
 tvriting and preaching only^ is destructive of 
 morality, as it concerns the inward man, 
 and has a fatal tende ncy to make persons. 
 
APPENDIX. 43 
 
 even of ihe best natural tempers, fly to an 
 outward decency of behaviour, and lay the 
 weight of their salvation upon it, instead of 
 faith in the pardoning love of God, humb- 
 ling the soul, and productive of real holiness. 
 Mr. Venn's performance, I imagine vviil, in 
 the main, be a working upon this plan ; and 
 I hope he will convince us of the necessity 
 and great eflicacy of gospel principles, in 
 order to our acceptable obedience ; and, that 
 what is 100 generally thought the whole du- 
 ty of man, is neither the whole nor the bet- 
 ter half of itj but self-deeeit, and a poor 
 substitute for them. 
 
 I cannot fmd Rivington's letter to Mr, 
 Venn, but suppose it is of no great conse- 
 (sjuence. I hoped I should have delivered 
 Mr. Walker's Helps, &:c. into your own 
 liands, but, if you do not come shortly, will 
 send it, if you desire it. The archdeacon, 
 who will be glad to see you, told me lately 
 he'had wrote for a number of the " Ordina- 
 tion Question,", but could not get them. 
 Pray tell me whether and how they are to be 
 had. What is become of the man of Tru- 
 ro ? I have not heard from him for many 
 months, though my last letter to him was of 
 an interesting nature. 
 
 I am obliged to you and Mr. Venn for 
 his Sabbath sermon, and heartily Wish it may 
 have an effect far and near ; but there were 
 some leaves wanting. It is very much to 
 be lamented that njpn of learning and piety 
 
44 APPENDIX. 
 
 should ever have struck in with the corrup- 
 tion of mankind, as they once did in this 
 nation, to weaken the obHgation of a com- 
 mand, which is not only of a moral nature, 
 as a guard and security to all the rest, but 
 more especially sacred for its spiritual im- 
 port, as the soul's call from earth to heaven. 
 Certainly more was intended by it than only 
 to take the yoke of servile labour from ofi 
 our necks ; and the man has no more bene- 
 fit from it than his beast, who sees nothing 
 else in it but a liberty to skip in his pasture. 
 I trust you are always in the right school, 
 and know that your fall and fever were the 
 lessons of the day : perhaps, you find too 
 by experience that knowledge and strength 
 are gained in the school of affliction. I do, 
 for domestic trouble presses hard upon me. 
 What is the use of this but to humble us in 
 the dust, to ground us in the sense of our 
 weakness, and thereby hinder us from think- 
 ing a lie of ourselves ; to make us call louder 
 and keep us close to our remedy ? Dear 
 sir, God bless } ou. Come when you can ; 
 it is but a day's journey, and you will be 
 heartily welcome to 
 
 Your affectionate brother, 
 
 THO. ADAM. 
 
APPENDIX. 4S 
 
 No. III. 
 
 TO THE SAME. 
 
 Nov. 4, 1760, 
 DfiAR Sir, 
 
 Perhaps you will wonder when I tell 
 you I am not surprised to hear what has 
 happened to H. Wherever the gospel is 
 preached there will be mistakes even among 
 the sincere ; and opposers will catch at any 
 shadow, and invent falsehoods, to keep off 
 conviction, and harden themselves in the 
 worst of errors. *' I an advocate for the 
 merit of good works!" I abhor the very 
 sound of the words from my heart, and can- 
 not imagine what there was in my sermons 
 to ground such a misapprehension upon. I 
 thank God I have long been established in 
 the belief of the eleventh article of our 
 church, not being able to find comfort or 
 sure footing any where else ; and would ask 
 those miserable mistakers of the gospel, who 
 are for laying any other foundation, whether 
 they dare say in cool blood that what they 
 think the best actions of their lives, o;v 
 the choicest grace of their souls, will bear 
 to be tried in God's balance ; and if not, 
 what will they do with all tlie rest ? There 
 is no trifling here ; the soul is lost by sin, 
 and how it can be recovered by actions 
 which have a mixture of sin in them, as 
 the best have, is not to be conceived. The 
 
46 APPENorx. 
 
 consequence is plain : salvation is a gift 
 from first to last, III together free and iiu.ie- 
 served ; and the man was never humbled, 
 never considered what a fiery trial he ht.s 
 to go through, who can think of challenging 
 it as a debt, in whole or in part. I am not 
 vindicating myself to you and Mr. V. on 
 this point, which I suppose to be quite 
 needless ; but give you leave to mention 
 what I have said,. wherever you think it may* 
 be necessary, and have pricked my finger, 
 as the poor boy Leaf did , to sign it. 
 
 See Fox, vol. III. p. 306. 
 It is true, in all my discourses I endea- 
 vour as much as possible to take in the whole 
 scheme — repentance, faith, holiness; and if 
 insisting on the last, in its due connex- 
 ion, and for right ends, is preaching up 
 w^orks, I cannot help it. Wo be to those 
 who separate what God has joined ; for 
 though faith alone saves us, and not accor- 
 ding to the common gloss, if it w^orks by 
 love ; yet I contend that fiiith is not fiiith, if 
 it docs not work by love, keep the com- 
 mandments, and make us nev/ creatures. 
 My dear Mr. V. will be upon his guard, 
 and watch zealously over such of his con- 
 verts as would make gospel grace a pretence 
 for sloth, or low attainments, and, by not 
 building them.selves up in their most holy 
 faith, give occasion to the adversaries of the 
 truth to speak reproachfully of it; and I 
 say farther to him fear not : proceed quietly 
 
 / 
 
APPENDIX. 47 
 
 Slid Steadily in dependence on the arm of the 
 Lord. Let him tell his flock not to give 
 heed to any other gospel, by whomsoever 
 preached: if he expects to have things go 
 on smoothly, he is sadly out in his reck- 
 oning : it is a poor artifice of the father of 
 lies to set me in opposition to him ; but 
 this calumny, if despised, will die avv^ay of 
 itself. 
 
 Those who are influenced by his preach- 
 ing, and truly awakened, will soon discover 
 what a wretched condition they are in, with 
 respect to works; the rest must fret and 
 speak all manner of evil, and prop them- 
 selves as well as they can with their ovvii do- 
 ings. It is something remarkable, that 
 commonly those who have the fewest good 
 works, and are evidently not in a state of 
 careful walking and working, should build 
 most upon them. Ask them what they 
 mean by it, and you will' find it is little more 
 than that they do not pick pockets, and 
 knock dow^n every one they meet. 
 
 I desire my love to Mr. and Mrs. V. to 
 whom I write this as well as to you, and am 
 your and their affectionate 
 
 THO. ADAM. 
 
48 . AFPENDIX. 
 
 No. IV. 
 ON THE DEATH OF MY WIFE, 
 
 Mij 20, 1760. 
 
 If I have true charity, I need never want 
 ii wife. My parish, my family, my rela- 
 tions, my friends, every soul will be the ob- 
 ject of my conjugal tenderness, and the ex- 
 ercises of it, from a root of love and obe- 
 dience to my Saviour^ a never-failing source 
 of the purest delight. 
 
 I find I have settled that love upon One 
 which is due to All. This is a painful 
 stroke ; but I am sensible that it is in order 
 to another, and a more painiul one ; and 
 may my God enable me to submit to it, 
 and make it effectual to his own blessed 
 end. Now is the time for a total separation 
 from the world and the flesh, by the sharp 
 knife of circumcision. Now God calls me 
 to a full choice of him. Now Christ says 
 to me, Wilt thmi be made whole ? Now the 
 Spirit stands ready with his purifying fire 
 to do his office in me. Holy and eternal 
 Trinity. Amen, 
 
 O my soul, thy lawful comforts have been 
 a snare to thee, and thou hast well nigh 
 ruined thyself by creature-dependence. — 
 Know thy support. — Know it is thy God. — 
 Know how wretchedly thou hast been de- 
 ceived, and turn to him that smiteth thee. 
 
APP£NDI>1. 4.^ 
 
 Lord, thou hast struck me to the 
 ground, and what wouldest thou have me 
 to do ? I know : speak it evidendy to my 
 heart. If my own rebellious will does not 
 oppose thy gracious design, I know I shall 
 not want illumination and help. 
 
 1 see plainly I am come to the turning 
 point. From this day forward, a life of 
 faith or sensuality ; — of heavenly affections 
 or prevailing love of earthly things ; — of 
 slavery or freedom ; — of self-pleasing or en- 
 tire devotedness to God. 
 
 One chain may bind us as fast to the 
 world as a thousand. I have seemed to my- 
 self to be above it in many respects, but 
 am sadly convinced it has all along had 
 possession of me, and that my love of it, 
 though less discernable, was perhaps more 
 strong through centring in one object. Oh, 
 that I might be buried in the same grave with 
 her ; and that, henceforth, I had nothing to 
 do in the world but to live to him that died 
 for me, and love God with a pure heart fer- 
 vently ! 
 
 It is necessary for me to obliterate as 
 much as possible all such thoughts and re- 
 membrance of the deceased as may augment 
 my sorrows, make resignation to God more 
 difficult, and obstruct his salutary opera- 
 tions. 
 
 Affliction, in union with grace, works 
 powerfully to the healing of the soul ; and 
 if the former does not send us to the latter, 
 
60 APPENDIX. 
 
 we shall not experience the 'healing benefit 
 of the great Physician. I can now think, 
 if the dear deceased was alive again, what 
 would I not do, forbear, or suffer for her 
 sake : but if I am not willing to do as much 
 for Christ, what can be the reason of it but 
 want of love ? 
 
 O, my heart ! nature has had its turn in 
 great weakness. When I went into the 
 room where she was laid out, the sight of a 
 breathless, extended, icy corps, so loved, — 
 too much loved, — drew a flood of tears from 
 me, with many sobs. I had not fortified 
 myself before-hand by prayer and the exer- 
 cise of resignation. 
 
 Blessed be Gody I was more strengthened 
 at her funeral, and hope I shall always - re- 
 member it as an earnest of what he will do 
 for me, upon all occasions, if I fly to his 
 power. 
 
 If I look out for ease from the present 
 distress any way but by resignation to the 
 will cf God, and desire of complete union 
 with it for the remainder of my life, I take 
 myself out of his hands, suffer • without 
 improvement, am still at the mercy of 
 events, and shall be unprepared for my own 
 death. 
 
 I have lost the dear partner of my heart 
 to whom I used to unbosom myself without 
 reserve, and communicate all my thoughts 
 and cares, designs and wishes, joys and 
 griefs, and in the want of her seem to my- 
 
ATPENDIK. 51 
 
 self as if I were left alone in the midst of a 
 desert. — Recall thyself, O my soul, wake 
 from this stupor of a vain sorrow, and do 
 not indulge a diou^ht to harden thyself in it. 
 Where is thy God ! If thou hast him to i;^o 
 to what C-inst thou complain of? Make him 
 thy friend and counsellor. He is now invi- 
 tin,c^ and even forcing thee into his presence 
 and familiarity. Speak as freely to him, as 
 thou didst to her, and look so well to thy- 
 self that thou needst not be afraid to tell him 
 all thy secrets. 
 
 No. v.. 
 
 A PRAYER USED BY ME. ADAM IN A FIT 
 OF THE STONE, 
 
 O Lord, my Maker and Redeemer, I 
 thank thee for all thy goodness to me, thy 
 unworthy creature, and especially for the 
 great mercy of the stone. I know thou send- 
 est it for good, that I may make deep search 
 into myself, and improve the pain of my 
 body to the health and everlasting salvation 
 of my soul. I confess my sins are more ia 
 number than the hairs of my head, and de- 
 serve a more severe chastisement ; but thou 
 dispenseth thy corrections with unerrinp: 
 wisdom, and I desire to submit myself, in 
 all things, to thy gracious disposal, and to 
 
55 
 
 .tFPEliLlX. 
 
 choose what thou choosest for mc. O let me 
 say, by a mighty power from thy grace, It 
 is good for me that I am afflicted, that my 
 life may be a continual preparation for death, 
 and death welcome, through a living faith in 
 Christ Jesus, who hath taken out the sting 
 of it, redeemed us unto thee by the blocd 
 of his cross, and insured our justification by 
 his resurrection from the dead. 
 
 Eless, I beseech thee, the means used for 
 my ease and recovery ; for iry help and 
 trust is only in thee ; and if thou dost not 
 think it fit to graiit my request, enable me 
 to bear wluit thou laytst upon me, without a 
 murmurino; thought, and with nerfect resi^- 
 nation to lliy blessed will, 
 
 O Lord God of ray life and of all my mer- 
 cies, deal \vith me as thou pieasest. Do thy 
 own work in thy own way. Into thy hands 
 I commend my spirit. Grant me thy peace. 
 Carry me safely through all my trials ; and 
 make it the desire of my heart to know, 
 love, and bless thee, and be prepared for the 
 everlasting enjoyment of thee, through Jesus 
 Christ. — ATnen. 
 
PREFACE. 
 
 TPh AT the reader may reap the full benefit 
 of these thoughts, it seemed proper to ob- 
 viate a plausible objection, which not only 
 the careless and profane, but even many 
 well-disposed persons may often feel them- 
 selves inclined to make. The objection 
 may be conceived to run in this form : ** If 
 Mr. Adam was so good a man, how happens 
 it that he should every where be full of 
 such complaints against his own sins and 
 corruptions ? It may be fairly allowed that 
 he should be so in the commencement of 
 his religious course ; but is it not unaccoun- 
 table that he should continue so through 
 life ? Is this the benefit of religion to keep 
 a person in a perpetual state of misery and 
 distress ? The language he uses would suit 
 the greatest slave to his lusts and vices ; but 
 not surely a man of exemplary piety and 
 virtue like Mr. Adam. One would expect 
 that such a man should have enjoyed a con- 
 tinual feast within, from the consciousness 
 of his uprightness and sincerity." 
 
 The objection does not meet the case of 
 our author onlv, but that of the most emi- 
 E 2 
 
54 PREFACE. 
 
 nent saints, both in ancient and modem 
 times ; It deserves indeed a more minute 
 discussion than the limits of a preface will 
 allow : some few hints, however, may be 
 given sufficient to clear up the whole affair 
 with minds of any intelligence in divine 
 things ; at any rate they will not be in vain, 
 if the reader finds himself led by them to a 
 more useful and more satisfactory perusal of 
 the author. 
 
 I. In the first place ^ however strange to 
 many it may seem, that so confessedly good 
 a man should complain so deeply of his sin- 
 fulness all his days, it must be insisted on 
 that there is nothing in it unscriptural. The 
 doctrines and views of divine revelation all 
 confirm the propriety of it. From them it 
 is evident that true holiness, and a true 
 growth in holiness,, are ever attended with 
 such a sense of indwelling sin. Let any 
 man carefully attend to St. Paul speaking of 
 himself, Rom. vii. That he is not personating 
 a wicked man, is certain from the whole 
 tenor of the description. *' What I hate," 
 says he, " that do I," and ** I delight in the 
 law of God after the inward man." To hate 
 sin, and to delight in the law of God, belong 
 only to a person of real piety ; nor is there 
 any thing in the whole account, which would 
 lead us to suspect, that he means to speak 
 of himself as being only in the first stage 
 and entrance of practical Christianity ► From 
 the seventh to the fourteenth verse, he 
 
PREFACE. 5'^ 
 
 speaks indeed of the time past, and is de- 
 scribing the former exercise of his mind 
 with respect to the law of God, and which 
 he experienced in his conviction and con- 
 version : but from the fourteenth verse to 
 the end of the chapter, he plainly speaks of 
 the time present, and the very feelings of his 
 soul while he was writing to the Romans. 
 No other sense can certainly be put on them, 
 without offering an intolerable violence to 
 all the rules of grammatical construction. 
 Toward the end of the chapter he looks for- 
 ward, indeed, to the time to come, when, 
 groaning in the bitterness of his spirit under 
 present pressures and afflictions, he cries 
 out, *' O wretched man that I am, who shall 
 deliver me from the body of this death ?'* 
 and relieves himself with this answer, *' I 
 thank God, through Jesus Christ our Lord." 
 He certainly expected deliverance, but it 
 was in the world to come. And in the next 
 chapter he explains more distinctly how the 
 saints *' shall be delivered from the bondage 
 of corruption into the glorious liberty of the 
 children of God ;" but here ** they wait for 
 it with patience, and the spirit helpeth their 
 infirmities." l^his is the natural and obvi- 
 ous sense of the apostle, and if it need any 
 confirmation, it may receive it from various 
 other passages in his epistles. But as brevity 
 must be studied, I would only desire the 
 reader to compare the chapter which has 
 been considered with Gal. v. The same 
 
56 jnEVACi* 
 
 inward conflict which is more Iwr^^dy de- 
 scribed in the former chapter, is thus briefly 
 illustrated in the latter : for the flesh lusteth 
 against the spirit, and the spirit against the 
 flesh, and these are contrary the one to the 
 other, so that ye cannot do the things that ye 
 would;" though on the whole they are 
 'Med by the spirit" in their walk: nor is 
 there the least intimation given that things 
 will ever be otherwise with them while they 
 are '^ waiting for the hope of righteousness 
 by faith." It is not true only of St. Paul 
 then, but of all real Christians in the world, 
 whether weak or strong, v/hethcr babes, 
 young men, or fathers in Christ, that the 
 conflict described in Rom. vii. belongs to 
 them all. However difiicult it may be then 
 for many to account for the repeated com- 
 plaints and sense of sin, in which the author 
 of the following thoughts abounds, it is cer- 
 tain at least that St« Paul, and with him all 
 true Christians, have ever had the same ; 
 nor is there an expression more deeply 
 descriptive of sin and misery, in the follow- 
 ing pages, than those made use of by the in- 
 spired apostle : / am carnal sold under sin, 
 What I do I allow not. What I would that 
 I do not, sin dweUeth in me. I know that in 
 me^ that is, in my fiesh, or sinful nature, 
 what is properly my own, dweUeth no good 
 thing. When I would do good, evil is pre- 
 sent w*tk me. I see another hw in members 
 
 I 
 
PRETACE. bj 
 
 ivatring agaimt the law of my mind, and 
 bringing me into captivity. 
 
 "O wretched man that I am!" These 
 are not words of course. There are no words 
 of course in the sacred oracles. Here is a 
 very animated sensibility of woe and distress 
 because of sin. It is true, he has his reliefs 
 and supports, his joys and consokitions, and 
 the next chapter powerfully describes them. 
 The candid reader will see too, that our 
 author had the same ; and when he farther 
 takes notice of the language of David every 
 where in the Psalms, of Asaph in the Ixxiii, 
 of Heman in the ixxxviii, of Agur in Pro- 
 verbs XXX, of Ezra in his ninth chapter; in- 
 deed of real good men in general, w^hether 
 in Scripture or elsewhere, when speaking of 
 themselves, the edge of his surprise may be 
 blunted, and he may at length begin to 
 think that our author speaks only as the 
 Scriptures fully vindicate, and as the best of 
 men have reason to do. 
 
 Yet still he may think the objection by no 
 means answered, at least the difficulty by no 
 means accounted for. Let him not be of- 
 fended> if he be told that he himself needs a 
 better acquaintance with his own heart, 
 and with the methods of divine grace. How 
 these things can be, shall be explained as 
 concisely as possible ; but those only to 
 whom ** a broken and contrite heart" hath 
 given some light into this subject, will be 
 expected duly to relish it. 
 
53 PREPACK. 
 
 II. In an unconverted person there is but 
 one nature, in a re.'.l Christian there are ., 
 tvx^o ; the one is called the fiesb., the otiKr 
 the spirit. These terms do not rclr'te to the 
 conflict between reason and passi:)n, of wliich 
 the pagan philosophers wrote ; but to the 
 conflict between all that is of rrian by nature^ 
 !\vhether reason, passion, or whatever else, 
 iind all that is of the grace of God in Jesus 
 •Christ, communicated through the Holy 
 -Ghost. Each liature has its distinct exercis- 
 es in the same man ; tb. result must be two 
 sets, as it Were, of liftections, views and pro- 
 pensities. This consideration alone accounts 
 for the seeming paradox, that St. Paul 
 should speak such apparent contradictions. 
 If the reader he apt to wonder that Mr. 
 Adam should sometimes speak so trium- 
 phantly of the happines ai^ holiness of a 
 Christian, at other times so fce^ingl) of his 
 corruption and misery, he must be under- 
 stood to speak with reference to these two 
 states, and it will be a sufficient apology to 
 say in his behalf, that the same seeming 
 inconsistency is in St. Paul himself. He 
 who, in Rom. vii. is ** carnal, sold under 
 sin," is in the viii. made " free from the law 
 of sin and death." Each assertion has its 
 truth, as reference is made to each of the 
 states in which he is conversant. In one 
 sense he is wicked, miserable, unclean, a 
 slave of all that is evil ; in another he is holy, 
 happy, pure in heart, the Lord's freeman, 
 
PREtACE. 5V 
 
 iiid ari heir of heaven, -^it is not to be won- 
 dered at that the conflict of such opposite 
 views and principles should produce various 
 exercises in the human heart ; and that a 
 mind vigorous and intelligent, like our au- 
 thor's, would be led to take large notice -of 
 them in viewing his own. This it is which 
 constitutes the Christian's internal warfare, 
 which will continue, till death transmit the 
 patient warrior to that rest which remains to 
 (he people of God. 
 
 Perhaps the difficulty which many find in 
 admitting that St. Paul was speakingof him- 
 self in Rom. vii. v?}ll be farther obviated by 
 considering that it is not a practical course 
 of wickedness which he means, when he 
 talks of being ** carnal, sold under sin," co/*;- 
 cupic-cfice is the term he uses, and that is 
 what he means by indwelling sin. It is the 
 tendency of the carnal mind, which is enmity 
 against God, that he complains of, as per- 
 petually exerting itself in inward opposition 
 to the will of God, and continually marking 
 with imperfection the best of his purposes 
 and actions. Did not the Christian himself 
 i inform us of it, it would often be scarcely 
 discernable, seldom or ever in a great degree, 
 by others, that he had this sinful propensity. 
 His walk is not after the Hesh, but after the 
 spirit, as St. Paul declares. And the gene- 
 ral prevalency of holiness in his conduct, is 
 the standing evidence of his sincere conver- 
 sion. For sin shall in no sense have dominion 
 
60 PREFACE, 
 
 over any true children of God. And it is their 
 privilege to grow in all practical godliness 
 more and more,notwithstanding the strength 
 and violence of their inbred foes. Persons, 
 unacquainied with these things, might think 
 St. Paul speaks a language proper only for a 
 murderer, an adulterer, or a robber : but the 
 truth is, the evils which he feels are mere 
 trifles, or even no evils at all in the eyes of 
 the greater part of mankind. And were this 
 matter properly understood, the candid 
 reader might see, that it is the superior holi- 
 ness of the man which drew from him that 
 deep sign, '' O wretched man that I am," 
 and not an Antinomian spirit, as this inter- 
 pretation of the apostle has been too un- 
 candidly represented ; that in proportion to 
 men's growth in a gracious sensibility, these 
 complaints (if cordial, and not affected com- 
 plaints) will be more pungent and intense, 
 because sin grows more and more offensive 
 to the taste, and the man will naturally be 
 led to be more and more displeased with 
 liimsejf, the more reason the rest of mankind 
 have to be pleased with all his conduct. 
 This seems to be a true account of St. 
 Paul's case, and the discerning reader will 
 see, that Mr. Adam's resembles his, and of 
 course will need no better vindication. 
 
 III. It is this deep and abiding sense of 
 internal sin, which lays the foundation for 
 that all-important gi'ace of a Christian's hu- 
 mility. To live under a daily consciousness, 
 
fHZTACE. 61 
 
 t^at in him '* clwelkth no good thing ;*^ if 
 this will not humble us, it will be hard to 
 say what will. Hence, also, the grace of 
 God and his Christ, so suitably adapted to 
 his wants and his miseries, and the scriptural 
 views of the gospel, becoriie so unspeakably 
 precious to his heart. Hither he is obliged 
 continually to repair for relief and support, 
 and he is not disappointed. The poverty of 
 spirit vrhich this view of things excites in 
 his soul, gives the true relish to his Christian 
 food, and the consolations of divine forgive- 
 ness and mercy become the sweetest cordial 
 to his heart. Thus he may in one view be 
 always sorrowful, in another always rejoicing. 
 It will not now be difficult to conceive, 
 that still wisdom's w^ays are pieasiint ways, 
 and all her paths are peace ; though, to a 
 mind jaundiced by pride, all things will 
 bear a melancholy hue. And if it be a joy- 
 ful, and pleasant thing to be thankful, the 
 gratitude hence excite d towards his God and 
 Redeemer, v\ ill rei:ay itself in a feast of the 
 sincerest pleasure. Forgiveness ot injures 
 will, comparatively speaking, grov/ an easy 
 and pleasant duty to him who daily feels his 
 infinite obligations to a God of forgiveness. 
 Liberality, long- suffering, and genuine uni- 
 versal benevolence, do obviously grow out of 
 the same soil. And because the indwelling 
 concupiscence still stains every w^ork, and is 
 the chief burden of the Christian life, hence 
 heaven is desired with ardour inexpressible ; 
 
62 FR£FAC£« 
 
 covetousness and the love of the world ace 
 dethroned in liis heart ; and that spirit of 
 living for the world to come, and not for this 
 in Avhich Mr. Adam most eminently excelled, 
 and in which the generality of even true 
 Christians are pitiably defective, will thrive 
 in the soul, in proportion as it grows in a 
 sense of indwelling sin. It were much to 
 be wished that this subject were better un- 
 derstood than it is. Well disposed persons 
 would find that the secret of growins^ in all 
 true holiness much depends on it. Spiritual 
 comforts would be sought earnestly, but in. a 
 right temper, and with due resignation ; they 
 would be.gi'ounded more solidly on the hope 
 of heaven in Christ ; and heavenly things 
 themselves would still be more looked for 
 than present consolation. 
 
 The primitive Christians were wont to 
 place daily before their eyes the second 
 coming of Christ, the resurrection of the 
 just, and the scriptural views of heavenly 
 blessedness, as St. Paul's epistles abundantly 
 evince. If we expect divine consolations 
 in our warfare, abstracted from these things, 
 we shall be tempted to embrace airy phan- 
 toms instead of solid nourishment, as too 
 many have done. For if, on the other side, 
 we look at the consequences of other sort of 
 views, it is but too plain that those who are 
 carried out in their expectations beyond the 
 iine of sobriety, which has been fixed by the 
 apostle, do not grow in holiness, but in pride. 
 
 I 
 
I^REFACE. 63 
 
 The presimiptuous are encouraged, and the 
 sincere are saddened, and real heavenly- 
 mindedness is by no means promoted. 
 
 Thus does it appear — 1st, That the ob- 
 jection which gave occasion to this preface 
 is answered on the grounds of scripture — 
 2dly, Is invalidated by a fair and candid 
 consideration of the cause itself — and 3dly, 
 Will appear destitute even of a shadow of 
 probability, when it is seen that true holi- 
 ness of life much depends on the. hearc-felt 
 consciousness of that indwelling sin which 
 gives rise to the objection itself. 
 
 Are you. reader, bowed down witli a 
 sense of much sin and corruption ? Have 
 you long laboured against it, and are yoii 
 tempted to* think you have done so to little 
 purpose ? Did you expect that by this time 
 you should have been much farther advanced 
 In the divine life, and have had lar less to do 
 with sin ? And that none had ever so 
 wicked a heart as yourself. It is a mistake 
 commonly made ; and even those who are 
 most fortified against it in their judgment, 
 are yet continually prone to make it. But 
 be not discouraged : the holy man, whose 
 thoughts you are going to peruse, felt the 
 same evils daily which you do, and we have 
 seen reason for concludmg, that a still greater 
 degree of the same sensibility may yet be 
 your lot. You would grow in grace ; but 
 you must leave to God himself the way and 
 manner of it. Indeed a very essential pcirt 
 
64 PREIACE. 
 
 of true holiness lies in this resignation cf 
 spirit. Descend more willinghA into the 
 valley of humiliation, and you will find com- 
 fort in Christ, and strength against sin to 
 abound more freely. Assure yourself, that 
 a state of uniform ease in religion is a fool's 
 paradis*". Much sensible conflict and serious 
 warfare, attended ofien with great variety 
 of framt'S, belong to those who yet are thri- 
 ving Christians, and advancing safely and 
 vigorously towards heaven. Many go on 
 smoothly, unacquainted with their own cor- 
 ruptions and Satan's temptations. Their 
 tranquility is more the result of stupefaction, 
 than of growth in grace. Be not seduced 
 by plansil)k' reaseningsof those of lower at- 
 ti.inments in reli^.non, to quit your ground, 
 and follow^ in}- othtr scent than thiit you are 
 up''»n. You must trust in the word ; you 
 must exercise patience ; yc.u n-u^i be con- 
 tent to meet with strngc things, such as are 
 very mortifying to fiesh and biocd, and such 
 as ccnfound the pride of your understanding. 
 For in all things God's ways aie not as man^s 
 \v-;.ys ; those whom he means to fill, must 
 be emptied. Look steadfastly at the grace 
 of Christ by faith, and at heaven as your 
 aim, and yoti will never want either consola- 
 tion or fruitfulness by the way. 
 
 Those must, however, be solemnly war- 
 ned who would abuse the grace of God to 
 licentiousness. For some may abound in 
 complaints of themselves all their days, and, 
 
PREFACE. 65 
 
 fancying that to be a sufficient mark of hu- 
 mility, content themselves in their present 
 state, sinning that grace may abound. What 
 has been said, was meant to instruct the ig- 
 norant, and to correct some mistakes in the 
 sincere concerning the nature of true holi- 
 ness, and the way of growing in it. It was 
 not meant to harden } ou in your vain pre- 
 sumption. If your complaints be sincere, 
 the constant tenor of an humble, charitable, 
 heavenly- minded life will evidence it. But 
 if you can go on in the love of the worlds 
 and in the practical indulgence of sin at 
 your ease, be assured that the sensations of 
 the writer you are going to read, are in their 
 whole nature distinct from yours. Learn to 
 repent and believe the gospel. 
 
 Some readers of the following papers may 
 belong to those professors of godliness, who 
 rather affect a rational cast of thinking, and 
 though not void of the love of heavenly 
 things, are yet too much in danger of behig 
 carried away by the strong current of the 
 age, which prides itself on accuracy of rea- 
 soning. The thoughts of our venerable au- 
 thor will rather offend your taste ; if you can 
 see enough in him to cause you to respect 
 him as a Christian, you will be tempted to 
 think meanh , however, ()f his judgment in 
 religion. But beware of forming a rash con- 
 elusion. He was unquestionably a man of 
 deep thought, strong sense, and in personal 
 holmess a shining light in his day. You 
 y 2 
 
66r PREFACE* 
 
 have reason to suspect, then, that his spirit- 
 ual understanding must have been very good, 
 even better than your own. What if that 
 too practical conformity to the world ; that 
 strong desire of human applause ; that too 
 eager taste after the best worldly things, as 
 human literature and philosophy ; and that 
 habitual deadness in divine things, which for 
 years have been your burden, arise , from 
 the lowness of your views in real religion. — 
 You too hastily take it for granted, that 
 you know all that is to be known ; you 
 affect a simplicity in religion, but a simpli- 
 city more like that of a philosopher than a 
 Christian. You have too great an aversion 
 
 to the depth of Christian mysteries. 
 
 Could you be persuaded to pray more fer- 
 vently, and submit in a more child-like and 
 reverent manner to the teachings of God's 
 Spirit, you might find something in the 
 thoughts of this man of God more suitably 
 useful to your souls, and well calculated to 
 advance you in Christian life. 
 
 After all that can be said, if these thoughts 
 should fall into the hands of persons unac- 
 quainted with the whole of vital religion, 
 no prefatory explanation can render them 
 agreeable. *' The natural man receiveth 
 not the things of the Spirit of God ; for they 
 are foolishi.ess unto him ; neither can he 
 know them, because they are spiritually 
 discerned."* The most obviousj if not the 
 
 • 1 Cor. ii. 14. 
 
PREFACE. (fj 
 
 cnly use, which such can make of them, is, 
 to take occasion irom thence to suspect 
 their own ignorance and unconverted state ; 
 to seek diligently the means of light and 
 recovery, and to ask wisdom from above, 
 ;With a power of conviction, to which thej 
 have hitherto been strangers, even wisdom 
 from that God, *' who gi\eth liberally to all 
 men, and upbraideth not, and it shall b-c 
 given them."* 
 
 Something it may be necessary to add 
 respecting the fcrm in wliich these private 
 thoughts of Mr. Adam arc presented to the 
 public. ^Xhny are extracted from a kind of 
 diary, \\ herein, diirmg more than thirty 
 years, he occasionally wrote his sentimtnls, 
 on a variety of subjects, as they arose in his 
 mind, without observing any particular 
 order or meth.cd, and very seldom prefixing 
 a date. In this state it came into the hands 
 of the editors, to whom the Author had 
 committed the care of his papers, with a 
 discretionary power to publish or suppress 
 wliat they pleased. Struck with the re- 
 markable honesty and wisdom that appear- 
 ed in the observations it contained, they 
 thought that such a selection might be made 
 for the press, as would greatly tend to illus- 
 trate the subject of human nature, and a 
 work of grace upon the heart. In order to 
 make these select observations more useful, 
 it was thought necessiury to reduce them 
 
 • JuiTiLS i, 5. 
 
6S iPRiiFACE. 
 
 into some order, and class them under cer- 
 tain heads. This has been attempted in 
 the way which the editors of Mons. Pas- 
 chaPs '" Thoughts on Religion'* tell us, in 
 their preface, they pursued. A distinct 
 chapter is allotted to each subject, and a 
 regular method is aimed at in the order and 
 connection of the subjects. This attempt 
 was not without its difficulties. Many of 
 the author's observations being of a complex 
 kind, it was not easy to fix upon the leading 
 sentiment, so as to assign them their proper 
 place. Some inaccuracy will perhaps be 
 discovered, and some indulgence is request- 
 ed of the public in this respect. Under 
 the head of Confessions^ which is the title of 
 the first chapter, will be found most of those 
 devout aspirations and reflections, whether 
 of a penitential or thankful kind, which lie 
 3cattered about in the author's diary ; and 
 under the term Christian Life, which is the 
 title of another chapter, the editors meant 
 to give all his observations that relate to 
 those exercises, conflicts^ and circumstances 
 that peculiarly constitute and attend the 
 *'Life of God in the Soul of Man," 
 
 The reader has been prepared for that ap- 
 pearance of inconsistency which he will 
 meet with in the following work. If he 
 will but keep in remembrance the existence 
 o* two opposite principles in a believer^s 
 breast, and is able to enter into the meaning 
 of the apostle's character of himself and '• 
 
PREFACE. 69 
 
 his brethren, *' as sorrowful, yet always re- 
 joicing/* he will see nothing absurd or con- 
 tradictory in our author's views. Whatever 
 belongs to the dark side of the subject, such 
 as the guilt and misery of our faikn state, 
 the pride and hypocrisy that lurks within 
 us, and the bitter and deadly workings of 
 our carnal mind, will chiefly be iound in the 
 chapter of human depravity. On the other 
 hand, that which relates to the bright side 
 of the subject, viz. the comfortable doctrine 
 of justification, the blessed hope of eternal 
 life, and the rich consolation which the gos- 
 pel affords, will principally be met with un- 
 d T the following title s — Jesus Christ — 
 J^itth — heaven. The ch :pter on resignation 
 will include the -anhor's thoi.ghib on the 
 benefit of i^filictions, and th« use of the 
 pains, diseases, and crosses thai attend U»is 
 mortal life. The connexion b-iVvten ihe 
 titles of the other ckptcrs, and liie SLiiti- 
 ments the}' contain, will, pcrh; j)s, be ioi iid 
 sufficienth' obvious. Inordtrto avc/id die 
 inconvenience of an endless multiplication 
 of heads, it was thought expedient to reduce 
 them to their present number, and to admit 
 many of the observations into the chapters 
 where they stand, with a considerable lati- 
 tude of interoetration. 
 
PRIVATE THOUGHTS, cb^c 
 
 CHAP. L 
 COISFES&IONB. 
 
 O Lord, I yield myself to the clear radi- 
 ance and full discovery of thy word, to be 
 convinced by it of sin. I know, with in- 
 fallible certainty, that I have sinned ever 
 since I could discern .between good and 
 evil ; in thought^ w^ord, and deed ; in every 
 period, condition, and relation of life ; every 
 day against ever}^ commandment. 
 
 Thy dread majesty I have not rev-erenced ; 
 thy sovereign audiority and absolute right 
 over me I have not kept in mind ; I have 
 set no value upon communion with thee ; 
 my heart has been alienated from thee, my 
 will bent against thee, and I have lived 
 inordinately to myself, seeking only my own 
 ease in worldly things, and neglecting my 
 portion in thee, 
 
 I have not made a conscience of improv- 
 ing the talents thou gavest me for the bene- 
 fit of others and the good of my own soul, 
 but most shamefully and wickedly wasted 
 
7% THOUGHTS ON R F LlC ION, 8<.C. 
 
 my time in impertinent visiting, idle amuse- 
 ments, riot and excess, and all manner of 
 sensual indulgence. 
 
 I have been proud and envious: wrathful, 
 uncharitiible, and censorious; morose, ill- 
 natured, and imperious where I was obliged 
 to show the greatest kindness ; and ungrate- 
 ful to my best benefactors. I shall never be 
 better till I know hov/ bad I am, and pray 
 with more feeling. 
 
 I am in danger of losing two of the most, 
 precious things in the world, God's flivour 
 mid my own soul, and yet at ease. It is the 
 despenateness of my destemper that I am at 
 •ease. 
 
 I am lying under the curse of a disobedi- 
 ent, passionate will. What pleases God 
 does not please me ; but often vexes, freis, 
 hurts me, harrows up my soul. 
 
 Oh ! when shall I feel the plague of sin, 
 and long for a deliverance from it, as I would 
 from a sore disease of my body. 
 
 Sin is still here, deep in the centre of my 
 heart, and twisted about every fibre of it. 
 Does my deliverance consist chiefly in the 
 removal of it from my heart, or in the re- 
 mission which is in Christ ? 
 
 Is sin such a plague and burden to me, 
 that I should think myself undone if there 
 was no God to hear and answer my prayers 
 for deliverance from it ? 
 
 Who was it that said, "I will not sin a- 
 gainst my God ?" Who can say less ? Why 
 do not I say it ? 
 
CONFESSIONS. 73 
 
 All 1 have been doing in religion ; the o^ 
 pinions I have taken up ; the appearance of 
 it I have put on ; my seeming zeal for it 
 has too often been nothing but a contri- 
 vance to keep the Spirit's fire out of my 
 heart, and give some kind of ease to my 
 mind and conscience widiout coming to the 
 true point, viz. pure conformity to the will 
 of God, with a total denial of self. 
 
 My great controversy is with myself, and 
 I am resolved to have none with others till I 
 have put things upon a better footing at 
 home. 
 
 What will the next hour do for me that 
 this eannot ? 
 
 Past sin I see and lament ; but not present 
 sm though struggling against it ; or not in 
 all its guilt, and as I shall see it hereafter. 
 
 Go, sin, (and, O Lord, do thou speak it 
 this day with my heait) go for ever thou 
 rebel to God ; thou crucifier of Christ : thou 
 griever of the Spirit ; thou curse of the 
 earth ; thou poison in my blood ; thou plague 
 of my soul, and bane of all my happiness. 
 
 I content myself with telling God that I 
 want his graces, and yet can bear, well 
 enough to be without them. 
 
 Devoted to ease and sloth, never easy but 
 in doing nothing, and always contriving to 
 have nothing to do. 
 
 If I love God, I must love him for his 
 holiness, and how then can I love sin ? Ne- . 
 
74 THOUGHTS ON RELIGION, &.C. 
 
 vertheless I have full con^ iction in myself 
 that I do not hate it as I ought. 
 
 Where have I not sinned ? The reason 
 is evident, I carry myself about with me. 
 
 1 would have joy of Christ, and take pos- 
 session of his benefits, without liis heart, 
 without entering into his views, or taking 
 part of his labours. 
 
 It is my great unhappiness and curse of 
 nature that I cannot please both God and 
 myself. 
 
 ** Grant that this day I fall into no sin.'* 
 When I was saying these words, Feb. 23, 
 1763, I sinned grievously by an uncharita- 
 ble thought of C. S. 
 
 I pray faintly, and with reserve, merely to 
 quiet conscience, for present ease, and al- 
 most w^ishing not to be heard. In a full 
 prayer for full deliverance there is hope. 
 
 Ail my reading and pursuit of knowl- 
 edge is more with a view to talking than my 
 own private use, or the benefit of others. 
 
 Day by day I am in pursuit of pleasure 
 from animal gratificiitions, and my life is still 
 propped by sensuality, only a little more de- 
 cently than formerly, 
 
 I should be ready to die with shame and 
 vexation if others knew what I ha^ e been 
 doing in the world, and what I am; it gives 
 me but little concern that the eye of God is 
 always upon me. 
 
 In bodily ailments, I look out every way 
 for help without delay, I have no such anx- 
 
coNiJissroNS- 75 
 
 iety for my soul, ihough I feci the plague of 
 it and know of an infallible physician. 
 
 If I might have my beloved enjoyment, 
 and liv e cordially to my own will as long as 
 I pleased, I do not perceive that I should 
 choose to die soon, and go to heaven for the 
 sake of being with God and freed from sin. 
 In a state of greater danger and horror 
 from self (Tanunry, 1768,) than if I was in a 
 town on fire at midnight, with two lions, a 
 tip-er, and three bears broke loose, and de- 
 Touring all before them. 
 
 Two things I know with infallible cer- 
 tainty, that I cannot help myself, and that I 
 am unhelped. I have wishes, form resolu- 
 tions, make efforts, say prayers, mrntion 
 particular sins ; but do not find that I am a 
 jot better. The only hopeful thing in my 
 case is, that I do not despair. 
 
 Whether a late occurrence was a provi- 
 dential direction or not, it has convinced 
 me, beyond all doubt, that I never reflected 
 enough upon the uncertainty and emptiness 
 of worldly things, and that my heart and 
 treasure are not so much in heaven as I ima- 
 gined. 
 
 " Woe be to the idle (Heb. good tor 
 nothincr) shepherd T" I am a sinful creature. 
 Lord, pardon me and pity my weakness, and 
 make me duly sensible of what I am, that 
 I may humble mvself before thee. Pre- 
 serve me from self-love, and from tlie love 
 of the world, and from the workings ot a 
 
76 THOUGHTS ON RELIGION, &C. 
 
 carnal mind, and bring me back again to 
 thyself, through Jesus Christ, by the Spirit. 
 Amen. 
 
 I Want one point of selfishness, which is 
 to convert the vvord of God to my own use. 
 All the reflections I make upon the pride, 
 corruption, blindness, and deadly fall of 
 man ; upon the necessity of the daily cross, 
 and death to the world, I bestow freely upon 
 others , and am hindered by the deceitful- 
 aess of my own heart, and the artifice of the 
 devil, from turning the edge of them upon 
 myself. 
 
 I have just religion enough to make me 
 gloomy, morose, proud, censorious; but 
 not enough to make me cheerful, easy, good 
 natured, hurrxble, and charitable. 
 
 The same failings, perverse tempers, and 
 evil habits vv^hich I see, and abhor justly in 
 others, I know and believe to be in my- 
 self, and possibly in a higher degree ; and 
 yet in spite of my reason, judgment, and 
 conviction, in spite of all the efforts I can 
 use, I neither do nor can see them m the 
 same light in myself that I do in others. 
 
 I have lived hitherto in a continual state 
 of darkness, deception, and lying to m^ self. 
 Though I have practised one kind of self-, 
 denial, so as to be taken by some, and al- 
 most to take myself for a Christian indeed, 
 I now find, by a r^ent instance, that the 
 chain which binds me to the world, is as 
 strong as ever. I am resolved for the future 
 
 
 I 
 
CONFESSIONS. 77 
 
 not to believe any thing of myself till after 
 a suiRcitnt time of trial. 
 
 I want humility, for what? To be ad- 
 mired. My pride will hardly let me believe 
 this, though 1 fear it is truth. 
 
 A certain person told me, that in advis- 
 ing*, speaking of religious matters, and re- 
 commending religious truths, I was fierce, 
 passionate, uncondescending. Blessed be 
 God, I am sensible of it; and may God 
 bless my friend for the admonition, though 
 I fear it proceeded in part from anger. See 
 and consider Gal. v. 19, 26. vi. 1, 3.. I can- 
 not help observ ing that I had a very strong 
 touch of this matter upon my spirit, a day 
 or two before my friend told me of it. 
 
 "W^hen I hear of any crime or series of 
 villan}', I think I have got a plausible occa- 
 sion of giving full scope to the passion of 
 hatred, and my indignation immediately 
 rises to the utmost : but then I feel distinct- 
 ly within myself that it is not against the sin, 
 but the person ; and, without any mixture 
 of pity, I fairly give him up to destruction, 
 and could rejoice to be the author and in- 
 strument of his sufferings. And though 
 this might be excused^ as proceeding from a 
 proper detestation of vice, yet I fear there 
 is little in it at the bottom besides pride imd 
 self-conceit, which are always accompanied 
 with a lurking, diabolical malignity of heart. 
 
 When I see others ij-tpnishingly blind to 
 their failings, I suppose it to Be my owb 
 G 2 
 
78 THOUGHTS ON RELIGIOK, &C. 
 
 case, and should think diat man my friend 
 who helps to open my eyes. 
 
 The great work is still to do ; the heart 
 is kept back, and God will accept nothing 
 less from mc. My guilt is damnable in 
 withholding it, because I know and believe 
 his love, and what Christ has done to gain 
 my consent ; O heavens ! to \vhat ? My 
 own happiness. 
 
 I should be ready and willing to show my 
 warmest gratitude to the person who < can 
 give me ease from pain, or tell me of a cure 
 for my body. O Jesus ! what hast thou 
 not done and suffered for my soul ! how 
 poorly do I requite it ! 
 
 Thank God for decay, pain, and sufFtr- 
 ing ; thank God that I was born to die ; 
 thank God that I can die ; thank God the 
 time is near ; thank God for the prospect and 
 hope of a beller world ; and thank God for 
 strong consolation through Christ. 
 
 I had rather see my own faults than other 
 people's. 
 
 I will not form any schism, nor have a- 
 nether religion for the world. Help me 
 God. 
 
 I have been fool enough all my life to do 
 every thing with a view to please, and, for 
 the most part, to defeat my own design. 
 
 I have been ready enough all my life to 
 prefer myself to all others. When shall I 
 be Chrisuan enough to honour all men, and 
 sink down into my own nothingness ? 
 
CONFESSIONS. 79 
 
 St. Paul knew human nature but too well, 
 when he said, ** Their leet are swift to shed 
 blood," Rom, iii. 15. I protest I am <^iten 
 cntchini^ myself at it; and do verily believe 
 that, if we were sincere, we should find 
 within ourselves abundant proof of the as- 
 sertion. Strange, that I should be conscious 
 of such a nature, and yet unhumbled ! but 
 then at the worst, and in the worst of men, 
 there is still a capability of goodness ; and, 
 therefore, so long as I have breath, I will 
 present my case before the God of my life. 
 '' Thou who hatest evil infinitely, and infi- 
 nitely wiliest the destruction of it, and 
 woulde§t not the death of a sinner, discover 
 to me this whole depth and mystery of ini- 
 quity, that, seeing it by a ray of light from 
 thee, I may be inspired with thy own ha- 
 tred of it, and enabled by thee to remove 
 all the impediments to the manifestation of 
 thy power and presence in my soul." 
 
 I cannot perceive any other principles in 
 myself tlian those of fear and shame. I 
 would disobey God if I durst ; and in some 
 instances, I even durst do it, upon a confus- 
 ed hope of mercy, or future repentance, if it 
 was not for fear of hurting my reputation. 
 
 When I return to a better temper, after 
 having been under the irnpressions of black 
 melancholy ; that is, from being morose, 
 sullen, discontented, impatient, quarrelsome; 
 I cannot help saying, what a beast and a de- 
 vill was ; me^mbg that I am so no longero 
 
80 THOUGHTS ON HELIGIGN, &C. 
 
 An open confession of this kind is looked 
 upon as a mark of great ingcnuousnes;?, 
 when, in truth, it is nothing but self-decep- 
 tion, counterfeit humility, and a stratagem 
 to re- instate myself in my own good opin- 
 ion, or the esteem of others. The style of 
 the confession should run in the present tense 
 lam, lam, I am : {ov the nature is the 
 same, though at present it may be smoothed 
 over with a handsome appearance, as a fil- 
 thy puddle is always tlie same, though it 
 does not ahvays smell alike. 
 
 Prayer and other spiritual exercises are 
 often. a weariness to me ; a task and a force 
 upon nature. I am but too well pleased 
 with pretences for omitting them ; and when 
 they are over, I fee) myself at ease, as- it 
 were, after the removal of a heavy weight : 
 ** yet thou, O my Saviour, dost warrant 
 -and command my importunity and earnest- 
 ness in asking under all discouragements-; 
 I will therefore still present myself before 
 the throne of grace, notwithstanding the 
 want of sensible consolations. Fear not, 
 my soul, the operations of the Spirit are in 
 3ccret, and the daily growth of the spiritual 
 man is imperceptible as that of corn.** 
 Mark iv. 27. John iii. 8. 
 
 I have all my life long been considering 
 what I would do in such and such circum- 
 stancesi and putting off the season of work- 
 ing to some imaginary period, without ever 
 duly considering what I can do at present^ 
 
CONFESSIONS. 81 
 
 or using the opportunities and abilities I 
 have. 
 
 It is in vain to struggle against nature ; or, 
 which is the same thing, habit. No caution, 
 consideration, or effort, howsoever repeated, 
 can set me free. I find myself exactly at the 
 state described by St. Paul, Rom. vii. nnd 
 am always crying out with him, *' Who shall 
 deliver me?" What immediately follows, 
 fills me with hope and consolation. I am 
 absolutely certain that my deliverance must 
 come from God ; and if he pleases to offer 
 it, I will not be so perverse as to take up 
 needless exceptions to his method. There 
 is a great d'^ai in the person and religion of 
 Ch!ist to engage my attention ; and I want 
 deliverance so much, that I couid almost ac- 
 cept it from the hands of Mahomefc, if he 
 could give it. 
 
 I have for some years been giving myself 
 airs in religion, and assuming a part which 
 does by no means belong to me. I laricied 
 that I must necessarily be something extra- 
 ordinary, because 1 endeavoured to be so. — 
 I am sensible that all the while I advanced in 
 nothir.g but outside and hypocrisy. I novv^ 
 see the reason of it. The work Vv^as my ow-n, 
 and the event accordingly, shame and confu- 
 sion, and conviction of my own impotence. 
 
 I know that I am hateful and contempti- 
 ble, and yet I cannot help idolizing that 
 painted thing which I myself am ; nor do I 
 
S2 THOUGHTS ON RELIGION, kc. 
 
 ever think worse of any man for being so as 
 to offer me the incense of his esteem. 
 
 In points wherein I thought it was clear, I 
 could ahnost stand upon my own defence be- 
 fore God, I daily discover my hypocricy and 
 infinite defects. *' Lord, what is man ! in 
 thy sight shall no fiesh be justified; no not 
 in any one instimce !" 
 
 The doctrine of faith in a Redeemer, I 
 find, will be no motive of love and obedi- 
 ence to me, or encouragement to inculcate it 
 zealously and heartily to others, till it is ap- 
 prehended by me in a different manner than 
 at present it is. 
 
 I seem to myself as a dark Hint. By what 
 kind of a stroke God will fetch light out 
 of me I knov/ not. 
 
 I would not giv^e myself one hour's trou- 
 ble for what the world calls immortal glory ; 
 and yet I am sure that a sense of reputation, 
 or rather dread of shame mixes itseif with ali 
 I do. 
 
 { could wish to have a perfect benevolence 
 for the most contemptible creature upon 
 earth, and at the same time that no other ob- 
 ject had more power to entangle my affec- 
 tions. 
 
 It is a dreadful truth, and, if it were not 
 for the aids and consolations of the gospel, 
 would even kill me to think it, that the sole 
 ground, being, and essence of rectitude in 
 the soul, and, consequently, al! its capaciticis^ 4 
 
CONFESSIONS. 83 
 
 for Iwppiness, are a hearty love and liking of 
 God for what he is, and for all that he is. 
 
 When God takes off his hand, and leaves 
 me to m}self, as I believe he does for my 
 convicvion, and humiliation, I can feel no- 
 thing within myself but the temper and 
 foundation of hell. 
 
 I perceive by some fatal symptoms, that 
 iiighcr qualifications for usefuhiess at present, 
 Vv'ould only fill me with pride ; it is therefore 
 better for me that they should be withh olden 
 till I am dispi.sed to receive them with pro- 
 per humility, and as the meani of a blessed 
 intercourse between God and my own soul. 
 
 Lately resolving and praying, as T thought 
 sincerely, against a certain sourness and ma- 
 lignity of temper, which I am subject to, all 
 on a sudden, without any preceding cause, 
 or occasion given, I was hurried, as it ^vere, 
 forcibly hito it, and found myself more un- 
 der the tormenting influence of it than ever 
 I had been in all my life. 
 
 Whenever I attempt to pray for others, I 
 am soon made sensible that I do it in a cold, 
 heartless manner; a plain indication that 
 love is not at the bottom. It is an awful mo- 
 ment when the soul meets God in private, to 
 stand the te^t of liis all- searching eye. 
 
 My state of being, continuance in it, and 
 every thing relating to it, is ordered by God 
 in such a manner as he knows will conduce 
 most to his own glory in my happiness and 
 salvation ; and yet I am conscious to myself 
 
84 THOUGHTS ON RELIGION, 8tC. 
 
 of a settled adherence to my own choice, and 
 a perpetual struggling against what he wills 
 and ordains. What ground is here for hu- 
 miliation ! What farther proof do I need of 
 my corruption ! And what a jest it is to 
 think of setting up upon the stock of a little 
 morality or outward decency of behaviour, ^ 
 while this accursed root of impiety remains 
 in us ? 
 
 When I am well, I think I could die con- 
 tentedly; when I am sick, I am impatient to 
 be well again. 
 
 Oh ! how I wish utterly to disregard, and 
 be unmoved at the contempt, peevishness, 
 and perverse opposition of others, and at the 
 same time to pity the unhappy state of mind 
 and love the person it proceeds from. — 
 ** Arise, O God, and let thine enemies be 
 scattered. Give me this proof of thy love to 
 me, and power in me ; this foretaste of the 
 heavenly happiness ; this earnest of thy Spi- 
 rit in my heart ! this blessed grace of chari- 
 ty, by which only I can know and be like 
 thee, and be fitted to dwell with thee in the 
 regions of everlasting peace and love." 
 
 If any man pretending to be humble, tells 
 me that God has given him a sight of his 
 own frightful ugliness, I believe him ; but 
 not if he pretends to come by his humility in 
 any other way. 
 
 I see enough in others for a ground in all 
 to be humble ; and yet this very thing pre- 
 vents me from being so. I cannot help com- 
 
CONFESSIONS. 85 
 
 praring myself with them instead of the rule 
 of perfection. 
 
 1 am perpetually looking out for some fit- 
 ness in myself, some procuring meritorious 
 cause of God's acceptance of me, as if I could 
 never be safe till i could challenge reward at 
 his hands as a debt ; and yet i believe this is 
 pure opposition to the gospel scheme, and 
 the very infidelity which St. Paul, in particu- 
 lar, levels all his reasonings against, the more 
 dangerous as being the more specious, and 
 at «11 times the religion of the more sober 
 and rational part of mankind. 
 
 I plainly perceive that \ am what I think 
 hateful in others, and what 1 really hate and 
 despise others for. 
 
 There can be no repenting, asking for- 
 giveness, or desiring a change upon a gene- 
 ral confused apprehension of our own un- 
 worthiness. We can only come to Christ 
 with a catalogue of our sins in our hands : 
 and if the Holy Spirit does not assist in draw- 
 ing it up, we shall omit a hundred times 
 more than we set down. 
 
 Till we have a full belief and apprehension 
 of the scripture doctrine of the remission oi 
 sins, we are under a kind of necessity of de- 
 nying, extenuating, and explaining away the 
 guilt of them ; and this seals us up in blind- 
 ness, impenitence, and hardness of heart. 
 
 If I acquiesce in the act of prayer, without 
 desiring to receive what I ask for, I never 
 pray. 
 
 H 
 
86 THOUGHTS ON RELIGION, ^C. 
 
 We are apt to acquiesce in the bare act^f 
 prayer, and can be well enough content all 
 our lives to go without the spiritual good 
 things we pray for. The case is plain, we 
 do not desire them. 
 
 1 want to sink myself, in my own opinion, 
 truly and sincerely below other people ; and 
 1 "serily believe that we can never have any 
 clear sight and knowledge. of ourselves and 
 others, till we stand upon lower ground than 
 w^e are naturally apt to do. 
 
 For a great part of my life I did not know- 
 that I was poor, and naked, and blind, and 
 miserable. 1 have known it for some time^ 
 without feeling it. Thank God, I now be- 
 gin to be pinched with it. Stand aside j)ride, 
 lor a moment, and let me see that ugly thing 
 myself. 
 
 I know and can tell my sins to God, but 
 t.-> very little purpose, as to any real abhor- 
 rence or forsaking of them, unless he is 
 pleased to tell them to me. 
 
 1 believe the damnableness of sin in others, 
 but not in rayself. 
 
 Could I be<ir to be the author of a treatise 
 which should be the means of enlightening 
 and converting thousands, and be without 
 the credit of it, or see it all given to another? 
 
 What ' stick to as a test, in point of duty 
 ov religious perfection, is this, Can I do it of 
 myself ? If I can, 1 conckide at once that it 
 does not come up to what God recjuires oj 
 me. 
 
COiVFESSIONS. 87 
 
 I do not perceive that I have any real pity 
 for the calamities of others ; if they happen 
 in an enemy's country, I rejoice in them, and 
 wish they were greater.- J f this is not a dia- 
 bolical temper, what is ? 
 
 I can make a shift to cheat the world, but I 
 can cheat myself no longer. The inward 
 mask is taken off, at least in part, and I am 
 uneasy till I sec more of my own deformity, 
 
 " Lay not up for yourselves treasures up- 
 on earth," £ifc. 1 had rather enter into the 
 meaning of this saying, and be in full pos- 
 session of the spirit of it, than be lord of the 
 universe. 
 
 my God ! grant me not the turbulent 
 feverish transports of a sickly fancy, not the 
 swellings of enthusiastic pride ; but freedom 
 from the detested rule of passion, and perpe- 
 tual serenity from an humble, resigned, obe- 
 dient frame of spirit. 
 
 1 see and believe the reality and guilt of 
 sin in Christ hanging upon the cross, and am 
 convinced, with infallible certainty, that the 
 scripture lays nothing to the charge of man's 
 nature but what is true ; but 1 cannot say 
 that I feel and hate sin in myself in any great 
 degree. 
 
 i discern clearly, that, in all my dealing.^ 
 and conversation with others, I do not so 
 much desire their salvation as esteem. 
 
 I see very distinctly that the will and power 
 in me which unites with God, obeys, and 
 loves, is not from mvself. 
 
88 THOUGHTS ON RELIGION, 8^C. 
 
 I find, upon strict scrutiny into myself, that 
 I am not so much influenced by a sense of 
 reputation as to deny a persecuted truth ; ne- 
 vertheless, I plainly perceive that, if I could 
 be instrumental in spreading it, the great mo- 
 tive to it would not be love of the truth of 
 Christ, or the souls of men, and that my 
 chief pleasure would arise from the credit of 
 it. 
 
 Little children have but one appetite, know 
 W^hat they want, and can be quieted with no- 
 thing else. Would to God I was so. 
 
 Oh ! how many thousands, at this hour, 
 p.re vrorshipping God in spirit and truth, and 
 labouring to advance his kingdom j and I 
 still st'cind idle, cold, and lifeless; tongue-tied 
 and fearful, as fast bound to the world, and 
 as averse to thorough work as ever. 
 
 It was not only Pontius PiLite and the 
 Jews, but, my sins, « myseli thiU condemned 
 Christ, that scourged him, and spit upon 
 him, that drove the nails into lus hands and 
 feet, and pierced his side, and forced him to 
 cry out, ** My God, my God, why hast thou 
 forsaken me !" He consented to all this once. 
 What infinity of baseness then to crucify 
 him* afresh. 
 
 God sometimes gives me a taste of what 
 he will do for me, and takes it away again, to 
 let me see what i cannot do for myself. 
 
 Is my retiring to converse with God, a 
 state of enjoyment, or an earnest seeking to 
 him in trouble and self-abasement, from a 
 
CONIliSSIONS. 89 
 
 sense of the greatest of all wants ? Or is it 
 affection, and a force upon nature, proceed- 
 ing from no real desire, producing no effect? 
 Or is it sometimes one, son; times the oth- 
 er of these, and sometimes a mixture of all 
 three ? 
 
 It is a blessed prayer, "O God thou 
 knovvest that i am in trouble^ that 1 want 
 thee, and desire nothing but thee, and must 
 be for ever miserable without thee." 
 
 ! when shall I sit down to the rich feast 
 of inward tranquility, from a settled state of 
 meekness, lowliness, faithfulness to God, 
 and mdependence on every thing but him. 
 
 1 begin to have an intimate sense of God's 
 presence, and to transact with him as near 
 me. Blessed be God for it. May he con- 
 tinue and increase it. 
 
 Perhaps wh-it 1 do see and acknowledge 
 of m^^self, is not the worst by flir. 
 
 The evil which scripture lays to the charge 
 of mankind, I feel in myself, and see plain- 
 ly in others. I see farther that it is the root 
 and essence of misery, and that without a 
 real vital change it is impossible 1 should 
 ever be happy ; and yet, notwithstanding this 
 self- conviction, notwithstanding that scrip- 
 ture tells me that the consequence of an un- 
 regenerate nature will be eternal separation 
 from God, 1 do not perceive that it comes 
 with full weight upon my mind. 
 
 I have nothing to do in my present cir- 
 cumstances, with' any man, sect or opinion. 
 H 2 
 
90 THOUGHTS ON HELIGION, 8^€, 
 
 I am sick of a dangerous distemper, and 
 must not stand reading books on the nature 
 of diseases, but look cut immediately for a 
 cure, especially as I know of an infallible 
 physician. 
 
 Do I bring myself to the touchstone of 
 trudi, or make myself the touclistone ? 
 
 Oh ! if tlie world knew,, or I myself knew, 
 whi\t God knows of me, how should I then 
 appear ? 
 
 It is cause enough of humility to knew 
 that we are not humble. 
 
 I find tliat the chief ingredient of duty, the 
 one steady, invariable principle of true holi- 
 ness, without which all I do is nothing, yea, 
 no better than sin, has hitherto been much; 
 wanting, viz. a prevailing regard to the glo- 
 r}'- of God. 
 
 Many of cur useful thoughts die awv^y 
 without doing their office ; vanishing like 
 bubbles almost as soon as they appear. 
 
 I know I cannot, and if 1 might I would 
 not, be happy in any other way than by the 
 love of God and his perfections, conformity 
 to his will, desire to enjoy him, and assimila- 
 tion to him in a will to all goodness. Yet I 
 do not pay a sacred supreme regard to the 
 will of God ; I do not set it up as the mark 
 I am aiming at in every thought, word, and 
 action: tior embrace it steadily, instantly 5^ 
 cheerfully ; nor live upon it as the food of 
 my souU I kno\y why I am not happy* 
 
€0NFES5lOIf£. 9^ 
 
 My sTns brought Christ to me, aiid me to 
 Christ. 
 
 weeping love, O praying love, O work- 
 ing love I but instead thereof, sloth, indiffer- 
 ence, coldness, selfishness^ 
 
 If God would leave me to my o'.vn choice 
 I know I should desire nbove all things to 
 continue in his hands, and be wholly at his 
 disposal. 
 
 1 wear a mask to myself, and for m,y life 
 cannot help fancying that I am what 1 would 
 seem to be,, and 1 know 1 am not. 
 
 If any man was to entrust me with a sum 
 for the use of others, and 1 could secrete the 
 whole or part of it without it being known, 
 my conscience would not let me do it ; 1 
 eould never be guilty of such baseness. 1 
 am sensible that God does so put talents into. 
 my hands, and knows, to a fai:thing what 1 
 give or keep back ; and yet 1 am not so scru- 
 pulous and exact with regard to him, nor 
 anxious to keep a just acctmnt. What can 
 be the meaning of this ? And why is con- 
 science so unfeeling and false to its office, 
 where he is concerned ? 1 cannot fathom the 
 depth of this thought ; 1 cannot estimate my 
 guilt ; 1 stand amazed at my contempt of 
 God, and shrink back from myself with hor- 
 ror. 
 
 Aged 63. 1 have made experiment what 
 life is* The retrospect is very mortifying, 
 and 1 should neither be able to bear up a- 
 
92 THOUGHTS ON RELIGION, &C. 
 
 gainst it, nor endure the little time that is to 
 come, /vithoLit Jesus. 
 
 The dreadful and ever- memorable earth- 
 quake at Lisbon ! It is man, and not God, 
 thai throws nature into convulsions. O, my 
 soul, art thou an earth shaker? 
 
 Every hour comes to us charged with du- 
 ty, and the moment it is past, returns to hea- 
 ven to register itself, how spent. My hours 
 ho^v trifled sauntered, dozed, sensualized, 
 sinned away ! 
 
 1 should be sorry to have it known \vhat 1 
 ani, how little 1 know, and vv^hat 1 have been 
 doing in the world ; and yet 1 am sure 1 
 swell with self conceit, long for and expect 
 applause, and catch greedily at it, where 1 
 know it is lalsely given. — Horrid depravity 
 and meanness of soul. 
 
 It is hard to sit down in the lowest room; 
 not because 1 am bidden, or to save appear- 
 ances, but because 1 knov\^ it to be my 
 place. 
 
 1 do not think of myself according to what 
 1 know of myself. 
 
 Would 1 choose that God should take me 
 out of the world, to rescue me from a tempt- 
 ation which he sees would be too hard for 
 me, and to prevent my falling into sin ? If 
 not, 1 am either fearless of sin, or immode- 
 rately fond of life, or both. 
 
 1 am horribly proud without ground or 
 pretence, and with great cause for humilia- 
 
CONFESSIONS. 93 
 
 tion. 1 know this, and still 1 am horribly 
 proud. 
 
 1 see in other simiers what 1 am; in Jesus 
 whnt 1 should be. 
 
 Checked, because soon to pray, and for 
 the ease of my own mind in the duty, more 
 than from any pure principle, and stead} sa- 
 crtd regard to God. 
 
 1 have just enough to keep a sickly hope 
 alive, but not the sense and enjoyment of spi- 
 ritual health. 
 
 1 can forgive others more easily than my- 
 self. But, query, whtther this is not rather 
 the effect of pride to find 1 im no better, 
 than real humiliation. For true compunc- 
 tion, repentance towards God by a work of 
 the Spirit, is for sin as sin, and [nr all sin, se- 
 cret as well as open. 1 have reason to think 
 that 1 grit vc- and feel much more for a sin 
 that is seen aiid observed, than for a greater 
 which is not. 
 
 1 should not care if all the world saw my 
 sin, if 1 could be sure God did not. And 
 why do 1 dread his knowledge cf me ? Not 
 so much irom a general concern for having 
 offended so gracious and good a Being, as 
 fear of his punishment. 
 
 Whatever graces 1 pray for, whatever good 
 1 do, is too much with a view to self, for the 
 ense and satisfaction of my mind, for reputa- 
 tion, to preserve my own good opmion, with 
 too little regard to the glory of God, and the 
 benefit of others. 
 
94 THOUGHTS ON RELIC 10 N, &.C. 
 
 If 1 had been less a sinner, 1 should pro« 
 bably have kno\rn less of Christ, and of my 
 obligation to him than 1 do ; and without 
 the knowledge of Christ saving n"^ from the 
 curse and ruin of my sin, I am sure I should 
 have been less concerned for it, and afraid of 
 it, than 1 am. 
 
 I never was thankful, as r ought, for the 
 common blessings of providence, for health 
 und abundance ; and, behold ! I am for pain, 
 and think 1 could be so in want. Whose 
 vvork is this ?' 
 
 I see die devil's hook, and yet cannot help 
 nibbling at his bait. 
 
 I can be courteous, humane, beneficent, 
 and abstain from outward sin with hard 
 struggling ; but who shall make me humble, 
 charitable, and pure in heart ? 
 
 I believe 1 am not what 1 should be ; 1 
 believe i shall be what 1 am not ; 1 believe 
 in the power of God ; 1 believe in my own 
 weakness. 
 
 Inactive and silent for fear of giving of- 
 fence ; for ease and quiet ; for want of love 
 and real concern for the spiritual good of 
 others ; and all from a root of unbelief. 
 
 The e\'il which 1 know and feel in myself 
 though not denied, causes no suitable dis 
 like or self-abhorrence ; what 1 see or sup- 
 pose to be in others, 1 am too apt heartily to 
 despise them for. What blindiicss^ pride ; 
 ynd malevolence ! 
 
CONFESSIONS. 95 
 
 1 ean say truly, 1 have great need of 
 Christ : thank God, 1 can say boldly, 1 have 
 a great Christ for my need. 
 
 The world in my heart is a worse distem- 
 per than any that Christ cured. O Jesu \ 
 
 What shall 1 do to live one day without 
 sin? 
 
 Four things are a grief of heart to me, that 
 I do not love God more, nor hate sin more, 
 nor abhor myself more, and that the world 
 generally thinks so much better of mc, as a 
 Christian, than I deserve. 
 
 '' Mortify your members." I have not had 
 this end sufliciendy in view, and hardly ever 
 thought duly of any such thing. 
 
 At the age of sixty, I thought it humility 
 enough io confess myself a threescore years 
 old sinner ! little imagining that I must say 
 the same if I lived to be fourscore. 
 
 Much forgiven, and little love : Jiow is 
 it? 
 
 Is there any thing in my heart or life dis- 
 pleasing to God ? The question must be an- 
 swered. 
 
 I am contiuiially looking for the substan- 
 tial ground, and adequate meritorious cause 
 of justification in myself, whereas it is solely 
 in Christ ; and though I am answerable to 
 Jiim for the gratitude, fidelity, and loyalty of 
 a pure heart, it is not the cause, but the ef- 
 fect and consequence of my salvation by 
 him. 
 
 Jan. 23, 1765. It was evident to me that 
 
96 THOUGHTS ON RELIGION, &.C. 
 
 for a worldly advantage I could and would 
 do and forbear what I do not for God and 
 Heaven. 
 
 Feb. 15, 1765. Is there, is there, O my 
 soul, a call this day to God, to his obedience^ 
 to purity of heart, to love, to an humble hope 
 of bring owned by him, and living with him 
 forever? — There is. 
 
 If I knew that Christ died for me only, it 
 would not kindle in me one spark of love 
 without a divine op^eration on my soul. I 
 have sufticient obligations to him, acknow- 
 ledge the debt, and would fain pay some part 
 of it from a feehng of gratitude, but find my 
 heart is cold as a stone. 
 
 *' My soul doth magnify the Lord, and my 
 spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour." So 
 I said, January 16, 17, 1767, fcr one whole 
 night and day, and thought I should never 
 lose the experience ; but at the same time, 
 the Song of Moses, for deliverance at the 
 -JRcd Sea, was presented to my mind : '* In 
 three days they came to Marah." In one 
 day it was Marah with me ; all was gone. 
 
 Christ has removed the burden of sin from 
 my conscience a thousand times ; and as of- 
 ten as he takes it off I lay it on again. 
 
 Read and pray, think and pray, pray and 
 fear not. Lord God, thou knowest my pray- 
 er is for mercy, and strength to keep mercy : 
 to believe and rejoice ; to believe and adore ; 
 to believe and love ; to believe and have no 
 will but to please thee; to believe and die to 
 
CONFESSIONS. 97 
 
 the world ; and thou knowest that I prostrate 
 myself before thee, as a sinful, helpless crea- 
 ture ; placing no confidence in my own 
 strength, attainments, willing or running, 
 but trusting wholly in thy grace and power 
 for the pardon of all my sins, and the supply 
 of all my wants. 
 
 God help me ; I am so foolish as to ex- 
 pect happiness, with a great remainder of sin 
 about me, if not all I was born with. 
 
 So long as there is one speck of sin re-- 
 maining, perfect happiness is impossible. 
 
 Well may I, who am so poor in love and 
 peaceableness, polluted in heart, destitute of 
 holy zeal, be required to be poor in spirit, to 
 mourn, to be meek, to hunger and thirst af- 
 ter righteousness. 
 
 Feb. 23, 1767. A call v/as given me from 
 the Spirit to see sin in all its guilt, malignity, 
 and curse : truly to abhor it ; to have my 
 very soul bent against it, and to dread it more 
 than death. 
 
 No slave in Turkey ever wished for deli- 
 verance more than I do for Christ's freedom. 
 
 Oh ! how happy should I be, what cause 
 of rejoicing, what ground of adoration and 
 thankfulness shall I have, when I perceive as 
 clearly within myself that the love of God is 
 uppermost in my heart, and takes place oi all 
 other loves, as I do that I love myself above 
 any thing in the world. 
 
 I like Christ's works so well, that I do not 
 I 
 
93 THOUGHTS ON RELIGION, ScC. 
 
 care ho^v long I live to do it, nor how soon I 
 die, that I may know and serve him better. 
 
 If I do not devote myself to the obedience 
 of God with full purpose of heart, and steady, 
 sole regard to his will, no number of acts, 
 religious or moral, will recommtnd me to 
 his favour ; my whole life is sin. 
 
 Let others boast of self power and despise 
 help, I have great need to pray. 
 
 Aug. 13, 1765. I had for many hours a 
 strong, lightsome, and overpowering sense of 
 joy, without any preceding cause of reading, 
 thought, meditation, or action ofany kind, to- 
 be the ground of it ; but found myself all on 
 a sudden drawn to God, laid at the Re- 
 deemer's feet in faith, admiration, and thank- 
 fulness ; desiring to be led by the Spirit, and 
 making professions of love ai:id obedience. I 
 know such comforts are not to be lived up- 
 on, nor proofs of a high state of spirituality^ 
 Supposing them to be the real infiuxes of the 
 Spirit, they are to be considered as calls to 
 greater sincerity, circumspection, and faith- 
 fulness, if not forerunners of trial and suffer* 
 ings. 
 
 I should be better contented to be 
 what I am, a fallen, helpless creature, if my 
 pride would let me. 
 
 I never was thrifty for myself ; and if I 
 had, I should have been covetous. Thrift 
 for God shall now be thought of, and that 
 will make me generous, and free as air. 
 
 Though I have one foot in the grave, and 
 
C0NFES3I0>r'S. ^9 
 
 and am sen sit) Ic that the world has left me, 
 yet I do not fip.d that I have left it ; but still 
 delude m} self with a vaiu hope of some kind 
 of enjoyment from it, and remain too much 
 under the power of sensuality. 
 
 I had rather be cast into the bnrning fiery 
 furnace, or the lion's den, than suffer sin to 
 lie quietly in my heart. 
 
 1 do not know the person whose good 
 op'nion I do not naiuralh love more than their 
 
 aOUl; 
 
 I had a full conviction that I stand more In 
 awe of P. L. than God. 
 
 Ihave conscience enough to make me 
 uneasy in sin, but not enoui^h to ketp me 
 from it. 
 
 In the case of others, I am apt to be angry 
 with the sinner and not the sin ; in my own, 
 with the sin at most, but not the sinner. 
 
 I am strict and scrupulous in matters 
 which do not much thwart my will, nor bear 
 too hard upon flesh and blood. Sv) pride 
 thrives, and conscience is kept from being 
 over troublesome. 
 
 I am often thinking whether I renounce sin 
 npon right grounds. Do L renounce it upon 
 any? 
 
 The world mny well excuse me for wear- 
 ing a mask to hide my guiltiness irom it. 1 
 put the same cheat full as much upon myself, 
 am still in the attempt of painting and white- 
 washing to God. 
 
 The world says of me, *- a good sort of 
 
100 THOUGHTS ON HELICION, 8cC- 
 
 man, but a little too strict and precise." — 
 My real character is rather, " he has not the 
 fear of God before his eyes, neither doth he 
 abhor any thing that is evil." 
 
 I can see nothing without the Spirit's eyes, 
 but as it were in a mist. I am fully persuad- 
 ed of the truth of scripture,, and what it tells- 
 me of sin, myself, God, Christ, eternity ; but 
 with little more eifect and true feeling than^ 
 what I know and believe of some remote 
 country in which I have no manner of con- 
 cern. 
 
 If things and providences are not accord- 
 ing to my mind, I can dissemble ; but do 
 what I will, cannot be pleased. Let the 
 thought of my being displeased with God be,, 
 ever so hard, it is better to know it. 
 
 I can truly say of every one I know, I hope 
 they are better than myself. 
 
 I am continually looking at the clouds to 
 know whether I should be pleased with 
 God. 
 
 You tell me that the remembrance of sin? 
 should be accompanied with self-loathing, 
 and a childlike ingenuous concern for having 
 displeased God, rather than a slavish dread of 
 punishment. I see the reason and excellence 
 of such godly sorrow, but plainly perceive 
 that if I w\^s secure from all fear of punish- 
 ment for my sins, I could easily be reconcil- 
 ed to myself for having committed them. — 
 Since this is the case with me, I have great 
 cause to be thankful that I am not hidden 
 
CONPESSIONS. 101 
 
 from myself; and I am sure there is no other 
 way of putting things upon a better footing 
 wiih my soul, than kno\\ ing \^ hat 1 am. The 
 Lord keep me close to this prayer in all sin- 
 cerity : *' Try me, O God, and search the 
 ground of my heart." 
 
 Sin is still strong, with the grave opening, 
 and ready to close upon me. 
 
 I could tear my heart out for not being 
 God's. I have been deceived all my life by 
 sayings of philosophers, scraps of Ntrses, and 
 most of all by the pndc of my own heart, in- 
 to an opinion of self-power, which the scrip- 
 ture plainly tells me, and L fmd by repeated 
 fruitless efforts that I have not, 
 
 I ha\x great cause to be sorry and asham- 
 ed that anv who liave a much less income 
 than myself should be more contented, or that 
 any who have more pains and sufferings 
 should bear them better. 
 . I have sinned enough, and long enough, 
 and though I would give the world to sin no 
 more, dare not say, 1 shall not. 
 
 I think so much of what others should da, 
 that L cannot find time to bestow one thought 
 of that kind upon myself. 
 
 If the devil could take Christ from me I 
 should be ready for any wickedness. 
 
 The more I am terrified with a sight and 
 sense of sin, the more precious Christ is, and 
 the faster I lay hold on him. 
 
 My apprehension of sin is faint, and chief- 
 ly speculative : if I had a true sense and feel- 
 
i02 THOUGHTS on &EL16I0N, &C. 
 
 ingof it, I should be much more pained with 
 it than I am with the stone, and gladly sub- 
 mit to any method of cure. 
 
 My death will be no more regarded by the 
 world than that of a worm or a fly ; but it is 
 of infinite consequence to me. 
 
 If I could make myself patient, resigned, 
 and thankful, I had rather that God should 
 do it, as it would be a token and proof of 
 his love, and favourable presence with me. 
 
 If I felt for the disorder and danger of my 
 soul, as I do for my body in pain and sick- 
 ness, I should look out every way for help ; 
 be a thousand times more anxious for its re- 
 covery than I am ; submit to any method of 
 cure, and say unfeignedly to God, **ure, feri, 
 seca ;" that is, burn, strike, cut. 
 
 Whenever I do any good, instead of ap- 
 plauding myself, or supposing that Christ 
 will place it to my account in a way of merit, 
 I should consider what more I might have 
 done, and have not. 
 
 When I am well, I think I can put myself 
 into the hands of God, and be content to be 
 at his disposal ; when pains come, I had ra- 
 ther choose for myself, and am impatient to 
 be at ease. 
 
 If a person whom I esteemed and loved, 
 and absolutely depended on for my support 
 and happiness, was to prescribe a rule of con- 
 dnct to me, I should conform to it with 
 pleasure, and hardly ever deviate from it, es« 
 pecially if I knew he had his eye always upon 
 
CONf KSSiGNS. 105 
 
 me. Why then am I not so affected towards 
 God, but because I value his favour less, or 
 stand less in awe of him, or judge the per- 
 formance of his commands to be impossible, 
 or trust unwarrantably in his mercy, and all 
 from a prevalent corruption of heart and na- 
 ture ? 
 
 Lord, forgive my sins, and suffer me to 
 keep them. Is this the meaning of my pray- 
 ers ? 
 
 I fly from myself to God, I appeal from 
 myself to Christ. 
 
 How sad to find reason to say, I see God 
 in every thing but myself. 
 
 I see and own my obligations to Christ, 
 but have not near so lively a sense of them 
 as I have of much inferior kindnesses re- 
 ceived from another hand. Perhaps the rea- 
 son may be, partly, that I consider his bene- 
 fits as necessary emanations of divine good- 
 ness ; partly, because he requires things 
 which seem hard to me, taking up the cross, 
 forsaking all, mortification of self, a change 
 of nature and will, and this damps my grati- 
 tude to him, though in all reason it should 
 increase it. 
 
 As earthly, sensual, devilish as ever, and 
 worse than my former self by an accursed 
 hypocricy. Son of David, have mercy up- 
 tm me and heal my soul ! 
 
 All I do for self, reading, meditating, com* 
 |K)sing ; all terminate in self-graiiEcsuicH^ 
 
lf}4- THOUGHTS ON REIIGION, &C. ' 
 
 with hardly any view to usefuhiess or gene- 
 ral benefit. 
 
 If it was put to my choice, whether I 
 would go immediately to hea en, or stay lon- 
 ger in this world, I. should choose the for- 
 mer ; but then I belit ve it would be ra- 
 ther to avoid being thouglit a fool, and to be. 
 rid of the vexations I meet with here than in 
 love to Christ, and desire of the company and: 
 delights of heaven. 
 
 I find it very difficult to conceive how 
 God can show mercy to me, without shov/, 
 ing it to all. 
 
 I should think myself undone if 1 might 
 not pray, 
 
 The'will of God is so dear and sacred to 
 me, as his will, in the love of God, and with 
 a. sincere desire to please him. that I would 
 not oppose it if he was not present or privy 
 to my disobedience, or I knew certainly that 
 he would not inflict any punisimient upon me 
 for it. 
 
 . 1 do acts of love without love. 1 do not 
 perceive it to be a nature in me ; and I am 
 sure that if ever 1 am possessed of it, it must 
 be by a supernatural change. Here is work 
 for prayer. 
 
 ' October 26, 1766. Come, my heart, draw 
 nigh to God for remission and renovation, 
 with fulness of desire for a full work ; come 
 now, this moment, as also to Jesus, for all his 
 cleansing, for washing in his.blood, for love^ 
 
GOIfFESSIOl^S. 105 
 
 for fidelity. Deliver thyself into his hands, 
 and beg of him to purge his floor in thee, 
 and make thee pure wheat, fit for his garner. 
 And, O Spirit of holiness, do thou bring me, 
 in repentance and faith, to the blood of 
 sprinkling ; sanctify my spirit, soul, and bo- 
 dy ; and baptize me with thy fire unto obe- 
 dience and love of the truth. 
 
 1 puzzle myself about the prophecies, es- 
 pecially the Apocalypse, and am often pry- 
 ing into futurity, but do not advert enough 
 to what 1 may certainly know without a pro- 
 phecy, what and where 1 shall be within a 
 few years at the most, if 1 suffer sin to keep 
 possession of me ; if 1 do not abhor and cast 
 it from me in the fear of God ; if 1 do not 
 pluck out the right eye, and cut off the right 
 hand; if 1 do not humble myself deeply before 
 God ; cry earnestly for mercy, and yield 
 myself to him unfeignedly, and with the ut- 
 most sincerity of intention for newness of 
 heart and spirit. 
 
 1 want forgiveness of one sin, and strengtii 
 against it ; but God wants to do more for 
 me, and will forgive and deliver me from 
 none till 1 make further search into myself, 
 and bring my sins before him all together. 
 
 God hears my prayers for deliverance 
 from one sin, by holding me imder it till 1 
 discover more, and am led to the root of all. 
 sin in an evil heart, #^nd evil nature. 
 
 1 cannot work repentance in myself, 1 can- 
 
106 THOUGHTS ON RELIGION, kc. 
 
 jiot purify my heart, 1 cannot change riy- 
 nature. 
 
 '' The blood of sprinkling speaketh Letter 
 things than that of Abel ;'* — cricth louder 
 in the cars of God for mercy to mankind, 
 than that of Abel did against Cain for ven- 
 i^eance. Why does it not cry as loud in my 
 ears, and in the depths of my heart, for gra- 
 titude, for love, for faithful and true alle- 
 giance, for zeal and fidelity in the service of 
 my Lord, for obedience to every command, 
 and to all that is written in his book ? 
 
 Lord Jesus, thou knowest that can only be 
 in a day of power, when thou say est, "Ephi 
 phatha," and speakest thyself into my hcart.- 
 Oii ! speak ; come quickly to a sinner bound 
 k nd and foot, and lying at the point of^ 
 deaf.h. 
 
 My prayers can only be answered in the 
 way of a severe mortification, and 1 would 
 have the business done without. 
 
 December 1, 1766. It was suggested to' 
 my heart and conscience, as by a heavenly 
 voice, that God's command is-for an abso-' 
 lute, immediate renunciation of sin, and a 
 perpetual, full obedience, and that every 
 thing short of such a purpose is prevarica- 
 tion, rebellion, misery, death. 
 
 The shame and disgrace of a certain error 
 in life, though unattended with guilt, gives ^ 
 me more sensible compunction and sorrow- 
 of heart than all the sins 1 ever committed. 
 1 feel in this inst mce how 1 should be affect- 
 
CONFESSIONS. 107 
 
 cd towards God on account of sin, and am 
 not. 
 
 That error seizing upon the mind as irre- 
 trievable, is a resemblance of hell, and with 
 the blessing of God may be the means of 
 keeping me out of it, by leading me to con- 
 sider what other errors may be retrievable. 
 
 Shut up in self, like a toad in a hole, and 
 as full of venom. 
 
 It is my own fault, if 1 do not profit by 
 Xhc defects of others, by taking occasion from 
 them to prove and exercise my own virtue. 
 The question should be, what kmd of senti- 
 ment or bthaviour does tlie case require ? 
 
 What has the day done for me ? Has it 
 set me nearer heaven ? Has it brought in an 
 increase of knowledo^e and virtue ? Has it 
 been devoted to the servict of God and man, 
 or spent in sensuality and seli-pieasing ? 
 
 1 am grievously offended with my parishion- 
 ers, because they .will not contribute to my 
 reputation in the world, by being converted 
 by me. Lord, lt;t thy Spirit go with me in- 
 to the depths of my heart to show me more 
 and more of its deceit and desperate wick- 
 edness. 
 
 I plainly perceive that 1 have horribly 
 abused gospel- grace, if not to an allowance of 
 sin, yet to make me less fearful of it, and 
 keep off the Spirit's reproof. 
 
 In all the good 1 do, 1 have litde thought 
 but of pleasing and enjoying myself. The 
 inquiry is, how shall 1 find my account in 
 
108 THOUGHTS ON REXIGIGN, ScC. 
 
 such an action, or course of life, in respect 
 of ease and self-satisfaction ; and if duty will 
 not pay me something in hand, it is an hun- 
 dred to one 1 baulk it. The point should be, 
 not what will please myself, but God. The 
 time and manner of enjoyment may be left to 
 him. It appeal's also from hence, that the 
 supposing virtue to be its own reward, is not 
 the way to secure the interests of virtue, but 
 destructive of Christian hope, and an unstea- 
 dy, fallacious principle of action, which 
 w^ould oftener lead us from what is right than 
 to it. 
 
 1 shall never think I live till 1 desire to 
 live no longer. 
 
 Some fiX their eyes so much upon the 
 atonement of the cross, as to be blind to the 
 :example of it ; others so much upon the ex- 
 ample, as to undervalue the atonement of it. 
 It is a happy art, and the Christian's work to 
 avoid both extremes : for my own part, 1 
 find 1 am more willing that Christ should 
 take me unto himself for the communication 
 of his benefits, than 1 am to take him into 
 heart with his pure commands, strict disci- 
 pline, self-denial, and suffering spirit. 
 
 If proclaiming ray life before men and an- 
 gels, will be proclaiming the glory of saving 
 grace, let it be done. 1 do not desire to 
 have one sinful act, word, or thought con- 
 cealed. Forgiveness through the blood of 
 Christ will be to myself an endless spring of 
 admiraticm, love, and thanksgiving ; and the 
 
THE SCRlPTiyRES. 109 
 
 blessed company of heaven will join with me 
 in praising God and the Lamb for it to all 
 eternity. 
 
 CHAP. II. 
 THE SCRIPTURES. 
 
 I DREAMED 1 saw Christ curing a dis- 
 tempered person. 1 immediately applied to 
 him for my own healing. He asked me in 
 what respect. 1 answered, 1 want spiritual 
 healing and forgiveness of sins. He seemed 
 to doubt whether 1 truly desired it. 1 fell 
 upon my knees and besought him. earnestly ; 
 on which he said with a gracious look, *'Thy 
 sins are forgiven thee ; go, and sin no more." 
 1 was transported at the words, and wept 
 tears of joy in great abundance. My reflec- 
 tion on waking was, that I had as full assu- 
 rance from the word of God of the remission 
 of sins, and as plain a command to sin no 
 more, as if it was spoken to me by a voice 
 from heaven, or by Christ himself in person : 
 " If they hear not Moses and the prophets, 
 neither will they be persuaded though one 
 rose froiu the dead." 
 
110 THOUGHTS ON RELIGION, &C. 
 
 St. Austin, in his Confessions, lib. 12. 
 cap. 26, delivers himself to this purpose : 
 •' If 1 had been enjoined by God to write the 
 book of Genesis, I should have chosen to 
 have composed in it such a manner, for 
 depth and eloquence, that they who did not 
 understand creation, should nevertheless not 
 be able to reject it for being above their capa- 
 city ; and that whatever oifferent truths any 
 man, or number of men might discover, or 
 have discovered to them, should be contained 
 in the conciseness of the text." This shows 
 a vast reach of thought in St. Austin, and 
 opens to us an amazing ejttent of truth in 
 scripture, and seems to have been his real 
 opinion of the book of Genesis. 
 
 The scripture is light and truth from God, 
 a clue put into my hands by him, to guide 
 me through the mazes of darkness and er- 
 ror ; the instrument he works with in the de- 
 struction of sin and purification of mv na- 
 ture ; and if I do but receive it as such, I am 
 sure he w ill bless it to me in such ways as 
 he knows to be best for me. My only pray- 
 er to the Father of Mercies and God of all 
 ct^nsolation, is, that he would give me a full 
 conviction and certain apprehension of my 
 faith aijd sincerity in the use of it; and all 
 the rest, the measure of illumination, sensi- 
 ble comforts, and wordly accommodations I 
 leave cheerfully to him. 
 
 Some people lie at catch with scripture, for 
 
THE SCRIPTURES. Ill 
 
 examples or expressions to countenince their 
 corruption. 
 
 The design of the Christian reHgion is to 
 change men's views, lives, and tempers. — 
 But how? By the superior excellence of 
 its precepts ? By the weight of its exhorta- 
 tions, or the promise of its rewards ?— No ; 
 but by convincing men of their wretched 
 guilt, blindness, and impotence ; by inculca- 
 ting the necessity of remission, supernatural 
 light and assistance, and actually promising 
 and conveying these blessings. And if it 
 does not prove its divinity by its efficacy, let 
 it be condemned as an imposture. This was 
 one of Its most operative convincing proofs at 
 the beginning, and certainly is its greatest a- 
 biding proof. 
 
 The scripture sends to my heart ; and my 
 heart, well known and considered, sends me 
 back again to the scripture, with great ad- 
 vantage for the understanding of it. 
 
 It may be a dangerous snare to me, and I 
 may go mourning all my life long, if I expect 
 any thing from God that he has never pro- 
 mised. 
 
 Eve was sadly mistaken in Cain, when she 
 said she had gotten the man Jehovah, (the 
 promised st;ecl) and had got no better than a 
 murderer. Perhaps this is a common mis- 
 take: and men think they have Christ, when 
 they have nothing in them but the spirit of 
 Cain. 
 
 If we had a voice from heaven, it would 
 
112 TH0UG5ITS ON RELIGION, &€» 
 
 reveal no new scripture to us, it would send 
 us to the law and the testimony; why then 
 should we not adhere to the word, and make 
 a diligent use of it without ? We should^ 
 if we believed it. 
 
 The religion of most men is iixed from 
 nature; that is, worldly ease and conven- 
 ience, before they come to the reading of 
 the scripture. The consequence is plain. 
 In all points where it exceeds their standard,, 
 it will be pared away. 
 
 With what a mixture of fear, reverencCj 
 and holy joy should we open the bible ! the 
 book of truth and happiness! God's heart 
 open to man 1 And yet the whole and every 
 part of it secreted from him,, and hid under 
 an impenetrable veil till he opens his heart 
 to God. 
 
 Before the coming of Christ, the law and' 
 the gospel were in one, but the latter so hid 
 under the former that it w^s matter of some 
 difficulty to discern it. After his comings 
 the gospel part of the law was taken out of 
 it, and separated from it, and by being pla- 
 ced apart, in a conspicuous point of view^ 
 reflected back its own lustre upon the law, 
 discovered plainly that it was in it, and gave 
 it a strength and vigour which it never had 
 before. 
 
 The wisdom of this world is foolishness 
 with God ; consequently the wisdom of God 
 IS foolishness whh man. The consequence 
 of both is plain ; all who adhere to divine 
 
tilB SCRIPTURES. 113 
 
 v/isdom and illumination must necessarily 
 be fools in die eye of the world. 
 
 The scripture is unto us what the star 
 was to wise men ; but if we spend all <ur 
 time in gazing upon it, observing its mo- 
 tions, and admiring its splendour, without 
 being led to Christ by it, the use of it will 
 be lost to us. 
 
 Perhaps it may be a good fule in the read- 
 ing of scripture not to run from one passage 
 to another, or suppose it a duty to read u 
 certain portion of it every day, but to dwell 
 upon particular passages, till they have in 
 some measure done their office. 
 
 Every one should apply scripture to him- 
 self, as if it was written for him only. 
 
 Scripture reading is a feast indeed, when 
 W€ find in ourselves a disposition to receive 
 it in truth and simplicity. 
 
 *'Son of man, can tliese dry bones live ? 
 Lord God, thou knowest." Show me a 
 thought so interesting, so profound, so im- 
 pressive,. and so well expressed in a pagan 
 author. 
 
 Poison secretly conveyed into an antidote 
 must be fatal, because no farther cure will 
 be looked for. How many themselves poi* 
 son their great antidote the Bible ! 
 
 Look full at scripture^ especially the bea- 
 titudes ; do •ot be afraid of it, it is a sove- 
 reign cure, for a sick soul ; but dien it must 
 not be adulterated, as it is, with the spuri- 
 ous mixtures of human reason, 
 K 2 
 
114 THOUGHTS ON RELIGIOX, t-CC\ 
 
 We go to the commentators for the mosl 
 part, because we are afraid to take Christ and 
 his apostles upon their own word, if we 
 had a simple faith we should seldom want 
 others to explain their meaning. 
 
 It is an awful dreadful thing to come full 
 into the light of scripture, and be upon a 
 foot of sincerity with God. 
 
 Our spiritual progress is greatly hindered 
 by running from one thing to another. 
 When any" thought, discovery, or passage 
 of scripture makes a strong impression, and, 
 as it w^ere, seizes upon the mind, consider 
 it as of God, and give it time and opportu- 
 nity to work its effect, by excluding every 
 thing else for a season. It would be of ia^ 
 iinite use to keep an exact history of such 
 inward workings; their rise, continuance, 
 declension, and revival ; and the communis 
 cation and comparison of many such histo- 
 ries would not only afford mattc*r of curious 
 knov/ledge, great improvement, and mutual 
 comfort ; but perhaps, be one of the strong- 
 est evidences of Christ's mission and the 
 truth of scripture. 
 
 The scriptures are so darkened with ex- 
 positions, and buried under such a heap of 
 rubbish, that it is a kind of labour even for 
 the Spirit of God to remove it. The minds 
 of the poor, not being sophisticated by the 
 false glosses which obscure the plain sense of 
 scripture, are in a much better condition for 
 understanding it than the learned. 
 
THE SCRIPTURES. 115 
 
 It is no objection to the truth of scripture 
 that so many different sects find their own 
 opinions in it ; for first, if they were all 
 agreed in their sense of it, and submission 
 to it, the testimony it brings against the 
 blindness and corruption of mankind would 
 be weakened: secondly, is is no disparage 
 ment to a looking-glass that all see some- 
 thing in it that is pleasing to themselves ; tlie 
 glass is true, the eye is partial. 
 
 It is said of Socrates, that when he belie- 
 ved he was divinely admonished to do any 
 thing, it was impossible to make him take 
 a contrary resolution. How does this ex- 
 ample shame those who pretend to receive 
 and believe the scripture as a divine direc- 
 tion, and yet for the most part trample it un- 
 der their feet ? 
 
 it.is the great design of tlie scripture to 
 teach the best to despair of being self-saved,; 
 the worst not to despair of being saved by 
 Christ, and to offer all the help they want. 
 
 The scripture was writtea to be transcri- 
 bed into the heart, and it has its effect when 
 the heart is in such full consent and agree- 
 ment therewith, that the scripture might 
 have been copied from it. 
 
 It is impossible, in the nature of things, 
 that so burdensome and expensive an in- 
 stitution, as that of Moses, should ever 
 have been received by the Jews, but upon 
 sufficient evidence of its being divine. See 
 Stillingfleefs Orig. Sac, vol. 2. cap. i.p. 110, 
 
MS THOUGHTS ON RELIGION, &C. 
 
 The design of revelation is to inform 
 mankind that they are in a state of ruin, and 
 under the divine displeasure by reason of 
 sin, and to propose the means of their re- 
 covery to the favour of God and the hope 
 of eternal life, by faith in a Redeemer, and 
 submission to his teaching and authority. 
 
 Setting aside St. Paul, I should think Mn 
 Law right in his notion of regeneration ; but 
 when I look , into the scripture, 1 am. sure 
 he is wrong. 
 
 Many assent to the truth of'scripture, and' 
 make use of it to paint their faces, but wili~ 
 not suffer it to get within them, nor come 
 too near the heart.. 
 
 How can P be discontented or low-spir- 
 ited, want of employment or enjoyment, 
 when I have the scriptures to go to ? 
 
 I have the writings of a most invaluable 
 estate in my hands, made over to me as my 
 own property; and whenever I open the 
 New Testament, and think of the un- 
 searchable riches of Christ therein convey- 
 ed to every believer, Imay look down with 
 contempt on all earthly possessions, and de- 
 serve to forfeit my interest in the gosj^el 
 treasure if I do not. 
 
 There is but one kind of happiness in na- 
 ture for intelligent creatures, viz. that by 
 which God is happy : God; is happy in his 
 •own will ; therefore intelligent creatures can 
 Only be happy by their knowledge of, and 
 conformity to, that wilL The question^ 
 
GOD. 117 
 
 Where is this knowledge to be had ? is 
 easily answered ; and the necessity of a re- 
 velation for this purpose^ together with tlK: 
 helps it ofFef-s for bringing mankind to that 
 conformity, appear at once. 
 
 CHAP. III. 
 GOD, 
 
 ALL spiritual happiness is in God, and in- 
 separable from him, and there is no possi- 
 bility of the creatures receiving any but 
 by being in him. The gospel only teacher 
 the necessity of this union, and the precious 
 means and mystery of it by Christ. 
 
 The mercy of God is the first article of 
 every mans creed ; but the different man- 
 ner of understanding and applying it makes 
 an essential, infinite difference in the char- 
 acters of men^ and constitutes either religion 
 or atheism. 
 
 I believe the universal immediate pre- 
 sence of God ; that he is the foundation, 
 life, and essence of all creation, and of eve- 
 ry part and particle of it ; or, in St. Paul's 
 words, that he is above all, and through 
 
118 THOUGHTS ON RELIGION, &C. 
 
 all, and in all ; but still he is absent, and 
 infinitely removed from me, unless I fiJid 
 him in my own heart. Tlie greatest knowl- 
 edge of his being and attribute! will avail 
 me nothing, if 1 do not also know as my 
 F.ither in Christ; and, as such, favouring, 
 loving, and blessing me, in time and to all 
 eternity. 
 
 1 do not think it is in the power of God 
 to make any thing to be our happiness but 
 himself. 
 
 The mercies of God refused, aggravate 
 guilt, and draw on great ruin ; but what 
 then ? Must not God therefore make a 
 tender of his mercy ? And must none be 
 the better for it, because some will be the 
 worse ? 
 
 Nothing but love can unite with and enjoy 
 love. The nature of God must be in use 
 '"before it can be a good to us- 
 
 Ail glory is so properly and solely God's, 
 that none can belong to any other ; and 
 whitever creature, man, or angel, takes any 
 to itscir, in so doing, discovers the nature, 
 and falls into the condemnation of the de- 
 vil. 
 
 What do I ask of God ? Happiness con- 
 fusedly ? Or himself as the only ground 
 ef it ? 
 
 No rational creature can be truly happy 
 in the enjoyment of any thing, so long as 
 there is any thing better to be enjoyed. 
 This thought, if true, leads directly to God. 
 
GOD. 119 
 
 The will of God is God ; and to love one 
 without the other is impossible. 
 
 If we look only at our fellow- creatures, 
 we shall find, or take but too many occa- 
 sions of pride and self-exaltation. 
 
 The way to be humble is to look up- 
 wards to God. If we think greatly of his 
 majesty, purity and infinity of all excel- 
 lence, it will give us such a striking view 
 of our vileness and absolute unworthiness, 
 that we shall think it hardly possible for any 
 to be lower than ourselves. 
 
 The angels are swallowed up in the will of 
 God, as their centre of rest and full enjoy- 
 ment, and have not one th(jught out of, or 
 beyond it. If they should give their wills 
 unto any thing else, but for a mnment, they 
 would lose their name, nature, and happi- 
 ness. 
 
 Though God reveals his own character in 
 his word, he reserves to himself the revelation 
 of it to us by his word. Whenever he dis- 
 covers himself effectually and savingly, the 
 heart knows it is he and not the mere word 
 that hath done it. 
 
 I long to know more of that Being who 
 made the world, and to whom I have so ma- 
 ny obligations. 
 
 It is easy to say, Blessd be God in every 
 thing ; and where is the man that is always 
 pleased with God ? 
 
 How happy should we be, if we loved 
 God but a little. 
 
120 THOUGHTS ON RELIGION, &C. 
 
 There is no possibility of happiness but in 
 the will of God, and in the discovery of it as 
 his goodness to mankind, and the only way 
 in which he can communicate it. 
 
 " God and enough," «ays B. The reason 
 why we never have enough, or know not 
 what we would have, is because we neither 
 hav'e, nor desire to have God. 
 
 If we had self-power, or could be self- sa- 
 ved, we should be gods to ourselves : and 
 therefore God, for his own glory, and to pre- 
 serve us from this cursed idolatry, keeps all 
 l^ower into his own hands. 
 
 With us, commonly, sin is no sooner pasft 
 than forgotten. To God it is alike present 
 at all times, and he always sees us in the very 
 act of what we did fifty years ago. 
 
 Those who do not choose to be like God, 
 Avill certainly make God like themselves, as 
 regardless of sin, and as little concerned to 
 punish it as they think he should be. 
 
 God has made the only thing which con- 
 stitutes oin* happiness, resignation and love of 
 his will, common to all, 
 
 " Forgive me all my sin ;" An unreason- 
 ble and shameful petition to any but God ; 
 for though all sin is infinitely aggravated by 
 by being against God, yet the only hope of 
 sinners is, that it is against God. 
 
 We dishonour God greatly, and deny his 
 nature, by not expecting great things from 
 him. 
 
 God ktseps us from much evil by the se- 
 
GOD. 121 
 
 cret methods of his providence, or prudential 
 considerations respecting our worldly inte- 
 rests or convenience, while iu us there is no 
 sanctification. 
 
 God sometimes suffers the temptations to 
 be very great, as in the case of Adam and 
 Eve, and the Prophet, 1 Kings xiii. but his 
 command is sacred, and the consequence of 
 breaking it is terrible. 
 
 God's punishments and favours, though 
 delayed, are as certain in his own time and 
 manner, as his eternal unchangeable justice 
 and goodness. 
 
 The highest angels know that tliey are 
 kept in being, and supported every moment 
 in their state of rectitude, by the will and 
 power of God ; and this sense of their de- 
 pendence is their glory, perfection, happiness, 
 song of praise, and the ground of their love 
 and adoration. 
 
 God manifests himself in all his works, 
 benefits, and blessings, and hides himself a- 
 gain in his providential crosses and afflic- 
 tions, and the pains and sorrows of life. — 
 All is just as it should be ; he tells us plainly 
 that we were not made for a happmess in this 
 world, as he does that he made and governs 
 it. 
 
 It is hard to say whether God manifests of 
 hides himself more. 
 
 If God would give me all in heaven and 
 earth without himself, I should be extreme-^ 
 ly and for ever miserable. 
 
122 THOUGHrS ON RELIGION, &;C. 
 
 I am bound to thank God for my being ; 
 for the continuance aiid support of my life ; 
 and for innumerable benefits respecting this 
 world ; but most of all for making me capa- 
 ble of knoNving, loving and enjbying him ; 
 calling me to this happiness, and qualifying 
 me for it, 
 
 God is my maker, preserver, redeemer, 
 sanctifier : do I delight to consider him un- 
 der these characters ? 
 
 KI was to be assured that there is no 
 God, or that he does not govern the world, 
 nor regard what is doing in it, nor hear pray- 
 er, nor promise immortality and prepare us 
 for it, how would it aftect me ? Should I 
 thhik m.yself undone, as being deprived of ail 
 my hope and comfort ; my best friend, and 
 the dearest object of my heart ? 
 
 Gcd is my end, Christ is my way, the Spi- 
 rit my guide. 
 
 God has the same knowledge, inspection, 
 and care of every one, as if there was but 
 one. 
 
 It is my duty to keep myself at an awful 
 distance from God's natural attributes, and 
 to approach as near as possible to his moral. 
 
 God gives his help, not by forcing, but 
 secretly inclining and changing the will, and 
 bringing it with freedom and full consent to a 
 conformity with his own. 
 
 if I pleased God, I am sure he would 
 please me. 
 
GOD. 123 
 
 X sliall be a happy man when I cannot 
 please mysf If without pleasing God. 
 
 He is God to govern his own world and 
 not I. 
 
 What God commands or ordains is both 
 the work and enjoyment of the day. 
 
 God is happy in his own will, and makes 
 it known to us that wc may be happy in it 
 too. ' 
 
 If I am not happy in the will of God, lean 
 !)e happy in nothing else ; I shall be empha- 
 tically cursed with my own. 
 
 Instead of stretching our thoughts to the 
 mystery of creation, and soaring abo\ e the 
 stars when wc tliink of God, which for the 
 most part is setting him at a distance from 
 us, it may be of great use to consider him as 
 present in the room, or little spot where we 
 are, and as it were circumscril)ed within it, 
 in all his glory, majest}' , and purity. 
 
 I need not envy any man his station, or 
 wish for a better spot on earth than where I 
 am to find God in ; he is found only in the 
 heart, and in the heart, every wtere, and 
 wherever he is found he makes a paradise. 
 
 It is the will of God that we should put 
 him upon doing moral impossibilities, and 
 till we do, ^ve neither know God nor our- 
 selves. Men judge of us by our actions, 
 God by our motives. 
 
 How can we complain or think hardly of 
 God for any thing he does, or have the least 
 
124 7H0UGHTS ON RELIGION, hc. 
 
 doubt of his goodness, when he has -given 
 his son to die for us. 
 
 • God is no where to me, if he is not in my 
 heart. 
 
 God denies us nothing but with a design 
 to give us something better. If he forbids a 
 lust, it is to give himself. O wretched man! 
 that ever the heart should be so blind, so 
 hard, so long in choosing. 
 
 My greatest cbligaticn to Gcd, next to 
 the gift of Jesus Christ and his spirit, is for 
 commanding me to love him with all the 
 heart, &.c. 
 
 Thank God for his restraint ; thank God 
 for laying it on the heart ; thank God for 
 the gospel motives and help to do his will. 
 
 Certainly God had some further design 
 in G^iving me my life, and preserving it by 
 ccniinuiU miracles, v.iih: • and without, than 
 thai 1 skouid cct, ari]>k, and die. 
 
 If I could heljv myself, i should choose 
 to have God to do it. \\liat less can be a 
 groun.') of trust, dread, love? 
 
 What is rebellion in the state to rebellion 
 against God ? 
 
 We ourselves stint God in the measure of 
 spiritual gifts. He has no measure. 
 
 1 have always known that my happiness 
 is in God's power, but I did not consider 
 enough that he himself is that happiness. 
 
 God takes the same care of me, and I 
 ought to have the same regard to him, as if 
 
there was- no other being in nature but him 
 and myself. 
 
 He who sends the storm steers the vessel. 
 
 All creation, and every part of it is, more 
 or less, (and perhaps originally more than 
 now) a copy or resemblance of God ; a 
 manifestation of his nature and operations ; 
 the instrument of his goodness ; execution- 
 er of his justice ; or a monitor of man's du- 
 ty. The degenerate creature, man, in his 
 present capability of the divine likeness ; the 
 several tribes of bi'utes, in their formation, 
 qualities, acts, and instincts ; the inanimate 
 parts of the creation, in their attractions, 
 processes, and offices; all are something, 
 and speak something of God, in the univer- 
 sal language of nature. The sun, for in- 
 stance, to say nothing of its nature as fire, 
 is a lively emblem of God's universal opera- 
 tive presence : and our Saviour's saying, 
 "how often would I have gathered thee, as 
 a hen gathereth her chickens under her 
 wings," is an. aiFecting illustration of the di- 
 vine STORCKE, and his own yearning com-- 
 passion, in the fond workmgs of that crea- 
 ture. But who, in this dark state of things, 
 can trace the thought in its full extent, or 
 discover the resemblance, ends, and uses of 
 but a few particulars ? This will be the 
 delightful employment of gloriiied Spirits, 
 and the growing wonder of eternity. 
 
 How is it possible for God to m »ke an in-, 
 telligent creature to receive its happiness 
 L 2 
 
126 THOUGHTS ON RELIGIOJT, &C. 
 
 from any thing but himself? Since this 
 would not only be the giving his glory to 
 another, but in some sort an annihilation of 
 himself : for whatever constitutes or confers 
 our happiness, will, in the reason of the 
 thing, be our God ; and we cannot be per- 
 suaded to place our desires, or pay our ho- 
 mage any where else. 
 
 God offers himself in Christ to be our 
 portion, possession and happiness : and the 
 man who can be contented with any thing 
 less, is neither worthy to receive him, nor 
 qualified to enjoy him. 
 
 When I consider the God who fills hea- 
 ven and earth as intimately present with, 
 and, as it were, circumscribed, within my 
 lieart, I am seized with dread and astonish- 
 ment. I dare not lie to him, nor prevari- 
 cate with him ; I am afraid to speak, or 
 even almost to think before him. 
 
 It is better to believe the goodness of 
 God, notwithstanding the untowardness of 
 some appearances in the state and nature of 
 man, than to deny those appearances to be 
 what they are, upon a supposition that they 
 are not to be reconciled with the goodness 
 of God. ^ 
 
HUMAN DETRAVITY. 127 
 
 CHAP. IV. 
 HUMAN DEPRAVITY. 
 
 WHO is there almost that does not wish 
 God was less pure in his nature, less strict 
 in his commands, less exact in his justice, 
 less terrible in his vengeance, than he is ? 
 And is not this wishing that he was what he 
 is not, and disliking what he is ? And what 
 is this, if the soul durst speak out the hor- 
 rid truth, but even hating God ? 
 
 Nothing in nature is more unknown t© 
 man than himself. 
 
 There are few men upon earth, so despi- 
 sed, disregarded and forgotten as God is by 
 the generality of men. " The peace of God 
 passeth all understanding ;" and yet when a 
 few simple souls stand out, declaring boldly 
 that they have it, but cannot explain it, all 
 the rest of the world cries out upon them 
 for fools and enthusiasts* 
 
 It is the common opinion with regard to 
 natural evily that it is sufficiently accounted 
 for, if happiness prevails upon the whole ; 
 that this mixed state of things is unavoida- 
 ble, and therefore no impeachment of the 
 goodness of God; ; and that no man^ or 
 n^mbcF of men, however miserable, have 
 
128 THOUGHTS OX RELICIO', 8vC. 
 
 any right to complain, if happiness is the 
 result of the general system. I do not un- 
 derstand this ; it seems to mc little less than 
 blasphemy. How is it possible for so much 
 as one conscious being to be miserable, but 
 by its own fault ? 
 
 If a man is a sinner, w hy does he not be - 
 iieve it ? And if he is not, why does he 
 confess it ? Wliat a strange jumble of 
 blindness and hypocrisy ! We confess what 
 we do not really believe,, and yet really arc 
 what we confess. 
 
 We aggravate the faults of others to have 
 a pretence for hating or despising them, and 
 for the pleasure of self- comparison. 
 
 Striving against nature is like holdir.g a 
 weather-cock with one's hand ; as soon as 
 the force is taken off it veers again with the 
 wind. 
 
 W^hoever thinks he can acquit himself to 
 God, has wTong notions of God, of himself, 
 of duty, of sin. Either he considers God 
 only under the single idea of mercy, or he 
 knows nothins^ of his own great corruption, 
 or contracts duty into a narrow compass, or 
 fixes the guilt of sin at a low rate. 
 
 The happiest and most envied life, taken 
 from childhood to old age, will not beara 
 review. There is not a year, perhaps not a 
 month, perhaps not an hour of it, which a 
 wise man would choose to live over again. 
 
 All our happiness, as mere men, consists 
 
HUMAN DEPBAVITY. 129 
 
 in forgetting ourselves. It we think, we are 
 miserable. 
 
 A conscious reflecting being, eagerly co- 
 veting happiness, and seeking it every where 
 but in God, is the monster of the universe. 
 God could no more make such a creature 
 than he can unmake himself. 
 
 We are as vain as if we were in full pos- 
 session of our original perfection; and our 
 being vain is a certain proof that we are not. 
 
 An impatient desire to know, and h.ve 
 more than is proper for us in our present 
 state, often hinders us from using what we 
 have, and knowing what we might ; and is 
 to many a source of great delusion. 
 
 The heart of mr.n pants everlastingly af- 
 ter distinction ; and our pride only changes 
 its appearance. 
 
 Mine, i find, is grown to a goodly size 
 under the show of humility. 
 
 God may say to every self-righteous man, 
 as he did in the cause of Sodoin, '* show me 
 ten ; yea, one perlect good action, and for 
 the sake of it I will not destroy." 
 
 The sour fruit that Adam eat will be ever 
 and anon arising upon our stomachs, even 
 in our best estate. 
 
 So long as we think we are what we are 
 not, and have what Ave have not, we can re- 
 ceive nothing at the hands of God ; and 
 reformation is impossible. 
 
 Wc can no more bear to be told of our 
 faults by God than man ; and if we durst 
 
150 THOUGHTS ON RI^LIGION, &:C. 
 
 ihink it, are in= reality as much disgusted at 
 the one as the other. 
 
 What is the reason of the frequent uneasi- 
 ness betwixt man and wife ; and of their 
 sometimes giving full scope to their passions 
 upon very trifling occasions; even amongst 
 persons \vlio behave with decency, calmness^ 
 and general good temper to all others ? It is 
 because they think their reputation safe in 
 each other's hands, and therefore are not 
 afraid to discover their natural sourness and 
 malignity. This shows that neither love of 
 rectitude, nor the fear of God is at the bot- 
 toiTL of that poor thing wc call virtue, since 
 we exert k least where it is most due, and 
 where it would be most serviceable to cur- 
 selves, only because we think we can do so 
 without disgrace. 
 
 The boasted demonstration of a future 
 state of rewards and punishments, from the 
 unequal distribution of things in this life, is 
 annihilated upon the Christian scheme, \vhich 
 supposes all to be sinners, and, as such, lia- 
 ble to condemnation ; and, tlierefore, what- 
 ever good we receive from God, in any pe- 
 riod of our existence, is grace, and not re- 
 tribution. 
 
 Charity does not obhgc us to think anj'- 
 man good, because Christ sa}s ** there is 
 none good." 
 
 Observe man's depravity in his punish- 
 ment. In our present condition we can oniv 
 relish earthly things, and they all conspire t(^ 
 
HUM^*:: DEPRAVITY. 13i 
 
 disappoint our expectations. There must 
 thereibre of necessity be a chaage both in the 
 facuhy and the object, if ever we be happy ; 
 and our business here is not to accumulate 
 riches, or fly from the sight of ourselves to 
 amusements ; but to acquire a true taste for 
 things that are excellent. 
 
 VVords cannot express the tormenting con- 
 sciousness of a soul separated from the gra- 
 cious influxes of God, and abandoned for 
 ever to its own poverty and impotence. 
 
 If we sought after truth, out of pure love 
 to it, and for the pleasure of it, as is pretend- 
 ed, we should not fear the great teacher. 
 Death, as we do. 
 
 Nothing shows the vanity of wealth, gran- 
 deur, and pleasure in so strong a light as the 
 restless, ambitious spirit of princes. What 
 do they want ? and what would they have ? 
 Akis! the soul, conscious to itself of much 
 higher pretensions, is n-^t to be quieted with 
 any thing these can give it. 
 
 It is the devil's master-piece to make us 
 think well of ourselves. 
 
 Alas ! wlio is humble ? We disclaim per- 
 fection, and run down the preachers of it, 
 from a general confused consciousness of 
 our un worthiness, but cannot bear to be told 
 of a trifling error in conduct. What ma- 
 nagement, gentle insinuation, and nice art of 
 address is necessary to prevent resentment 
 in such cases, even from a friend ? 
 
 We are sinners by the corruption of the 
 
132 THOUGHTS ON RELIGION, &C. 
 
 heart ; and it is a fatal mistake to suppose 
 that we are so only by the commission of sin. 
 Our guilt does not then begin to exist, when 
 it is brought into action, but to appear ; and 
 what was always manifest to God, is now be- 
 come so to ourselves and others. 
 
 VVe cannot go to the bottom of sin without 
 the convincing, searching Spirit of God. If 
 the work is to be our own, we shall deal so 
 very tenderly with ourselves, that nothing 
 can ever come of it. 
 
 it is said that riches, power, and distinc- 
 tion, are apt to corrupt the heart. The truth 
 is, they find it corrupt, and all they do is to 
 set men at liberty to act according to their 
 nature, and thus add to the strength of it. — 
 But are not many persons humble, order* 
 ly, and well disposed in a Jow estate, who 
 become insolent and insufferable in prospe- 
 rity ? . They might be hypocrites in a low 
 estate, and conceal their passions and tempers 
 for various causes, but tiiey never were hum- 
 ble or well disposed. 
 
 It would be a sad thing to think that we 
 shall never be better than w^e are, or can 
 make ourselves. 
 
 All men are naturally in a state of hostility 
 with some, and ready upon occasion to be 
 so with all, or any, wife or child not except- 
 ed. 
 
 The passions do not always torment us, 
 we could not bear it ; but then the maligni- 
 ty of tliem is rooted in the constitutioti, 
 
HUMAN DEPRAVITY. i^^ 
 
 ihough it docs not always appear. As per- 
 sons subject to fits have the cause lurking 
 within, though they have them not every 
 day. 
 
 When we open ourselves to others, it is 
 partially and hypocritically, with prevarica- 
 tion and great tenderness to ourselves, and 
 with design to be admired and flattered by 
 them, rather than counselled and convinced. 
 Alas ! we do so to God more than we arc 
 aware of. 
 
 Man is ever at odds with God about the 
 condition of his acceptance. He fancies he 
 has some resources in himself, some worthi- 
 hess of his own, that, with a few grains of al= 
 lowance, will bear him out, and rejects the 
 aids of the gospel : but the scripture is pe- 
 remptory : he has none : *' Without me yc 
 can do nothing." 
 
 After the commission of sin, or any erup^ 
 lion of our inbred malignity, we quickly 
 heal ourselves again, and reinstate ourselves 
 in our own good opinion. How much bet- 
 ter would it be to let our nature appear in 
 its frightful nakedness, and to consider that 
 the cursed root of all still remains, and that, 
 if not here destroyed, in another world it can 
 produce nothing but essential, uninterrupted 
 misery, when we have no longer the joys 
 and comforts, cares and amusements of this 
 life to keep off the sight of ourselves. 
 
 if I bring my pride \vith me to the work 
 of God, it will feed as sweetly upon it as up- 
 U 
 
134 THOU-CHTS ON RELIGION, &C, 
 
 on any other distinction, any in the end fa- 
 tally blast it. 
 
 We know we should be good ; and there- 
 fore conclude at once that we are so ; espe- 
 cially it we can read and abound with no- 
 tions. Our pride asks for no proofs. 
 
 Our being in this world, given up to flesh 
 and blood, is our fall. From the beginning 
 it was not so. God and his angels see us 
 where we are with pity and concern. But 
 man is positive that his present being, cir- 
 cumstanced as it is, was his original state ; 
 resolves to make the most of it ; is almost 
 equally fond of it, whether he laughs or 
 howls out his time ; never profits by his own 
 or other men's perpetual disappointments ; 
 and, in consequence of his mistake, dies 
 worse than a brute ? 
 
 Man has the worst qualities of brutes, 
 without their best 
 
 The observations I make upon the pride 
 and corruption of my nature, instead of hum- 
 bling me, only give me a handle to value 
 myself upon my penetration. 
 
 It is to be feared, that a secret wish to be 
 saved without holiness, is the great bar to our 
 progress towards perfection. 
 
 Most men's notion of sin is only this, 
 That whatever it is, they themselves are not 
 guilty of it. None are so absurd as to think 
 that they do all they should do ; or that they 
 are guilty of no deviations from the rule of 
 right ; but that their state is sinful upon the 
 
HUMAN UEl' RAV IT Y. 136 
 
 whole, or that siii is damnable, they do not 
 believe. 
 
 Our pride, as delicate as it is, can be con- 
 tent to feed upon th;it stench and corruption, 
 which a litde huniiiily makes us nauseate. 
 
 The character of man is, proud sinner. 
 
 A creature made capable of knowing, lor- 
 ing, i'nd enjoy ii^^ God, and yet ignorant of 
 him, and turned from him, oi, which is all 
 one, not turned to him in the bent of its will, 
 desire, and aftections, must necessarily be in 
 a fallen state, and perverted from the end of 
 its creation. 
 
 I do not want humanity, or social virtue. 
 I can be honest and civil, and observe the 
 law of kindness in my actions ; but who 
 sh.il! give me humility, meekness, patience, 
 inwai'd purity, and the love of God ? 
 
 Men do not want the devil now to tempt 
 them into a belief, that they shall now be as 
 Gods, knowing good and evil ; they are but 
 too well persuaded of their own ability. 
 
 " Wilt thou be made v/hole ?" is a trying 
 question, when it comes to be well coiisi* 
 dered. 
 
 li" I grapple with sin in my own strength, 
 the devil knows he may go to sleep. 
 
 What can show man's horrid corruption 
 in a stronger light, than that war should be 
 lawful (if it be lawful) to prevent greater mis- 
 eh It is ? 
 
 Ail the difference between sin latent and 
 breaking oat into act, is,. that man now sees 
 
136 THOUGHTS ON RELloIOI^, &C. 
 
 what God saw before. And our compunc- 
 tion is generally for the discovery of it. We 
 can feel sin in ourselves for years, and know 
 '^hat God sees it, \vith very little concern. 
 
 It is no uncommon instance of the deceit- 
 fulness of the heart, for men to venture up- 
 on the general contempt by becoming reli- 
 gious, and at the same time make all up to: 
 themselves by their own esteem, or the good 
 opinion of a few. But to be universally des- 
 pised, and to know certainly, by an inward 
 feeling not to be evaded, that we deserve it, 
 is not so common or so easy. 
 
 The iippeiirance of religion only on Sun- 
 days, j)rovf s that it is only an appearance. 
 
 1l is not the least innocent kind of ambi- 
 tion, to seek after praise in the way of reli- 
 gious uj-^ekdness. 
 
 Never a day passes but the devil offers his 
 service. 
 
 Mankind are perpetually at variance by 
 being all of one sect, viz. selfists. 
 
 We are undone by distinguishing time 
 from eternity, and carrying on a separate in- 
 terest for it. There are fevv^ v/ho do not dis- 
 obey God in the capital instance ordained for 
 the trial. The obedience we compliment 
 him with, generally speaking, costs us no- 
 thing. 
 
 Our state and being in this world is our 
 fall, and the loss of our paradise ; and we 
 may us well seek felicity in hell, as here. 
 
 Who can value money at a higher rate,^ or 
 
HITMAN DEPRAVITY. 137 
 
 pay dccircr for it, than the man who gets and 
 keeps it in opposition to the light of con- 
 science ? 
 
 Human nature is Hke a bad clock. It 
 may go right now and then, or be made to 
 strike the hour, but its inward frame is to go 
 wrong. 
 
 Our natural proneness to resentment, ha- 
 tred, malice, never fiils to show itself upon 
 what we call a proper occasion ; that is, when 
 we can make a shift to flutter ourselves that 
 v/e shall have the world on our side, and ne- 
 ver more (O shame !) than in the cause of 
 God and religion. The misfortune is in 
 thinking that there ever can be any such oc- 
 casion, and that we should ever think so, is 
 sufficient proof of our corruption and unfit- 
 ness by nature for our proper happiness. 
 
 It is strange v/e should not see the folly of 
 putting ourselves in the power of others, for 
 much the greatest part of our happiness ; 
 though we cannot help knov/ing that natural- 
 ly they are more disposed to counteract it, 
 and want to be pleased and humoured them- 
 selves as much as we do. 
 
 Certainly, in a general way, the best mere 
 moral characters are only what any one, may 
 be, and all prudent persons at all tinies would 
 be, if Christ had never come into the wprkl. 
 
 Where is man's boasted rectitude, when 
 he neither knows what he is, nor will he ac- 
 cept of it .when he does? 
 
 Fly ing: with horror from tlie thought that 
 M 2 
 
138 THOITGHTS ON RELrCION, &C* 
 
 we are unfit to die, if God should take us this 
 day and hour out of the world, keejjs off the 
 discovery of our true state more than any 
 thing else, and fatally hinders our preparation 
 for it. 
 
 We are often so much concerned about 
 the appearance of happiness, as never to cast 
 one thought towards the reality of it. 
 
 Human virtue works no cure, gives no 
 peace. 
 
 We \vould be happy in spite of God and 
 nature, in failure of duty, and with nothing 
 about us but the grounds of misery. 
 
 If a man would know himself truly, let 
 him consider what he is, and how he be- 
 haves where he has power ; that is, where 
 he thinks himself least obliged to dissemble. 
 
 When we see and judge rightly of the 
 guilt and malignity of sin, still it is with a 
 great reserve of tenderness for ourselves, and 
 we chiefly mean the sin of others ; thus, in- 
 stead of reforming, every one excuses one. 
 
 Reformation is the object we pretend to 
 aim at, but we are perpetually mistaking the 
 subject of it ; it is ourselves. 
 
 It is dreadful, but, perhaps, not uncom- 
 raon self conceit, to present ourselves before 
 God with a lie in our mouths, and hypocrisy 
 in our heart, or a secret unwillingness to be 
 and to do as we pray. 
 
 Where almost is the man who does all he 
 can, and all that Christ demands of him ? It 
 vfOjM fill the most pious soul with bhame 
 
IfUifAN DEPRAVITY. 159 
 
 and confusion to be upbraided by him for 
 what it might have done. 
 
 What ado there is to work up the heart to 
 any hking of God ? The reason is, we be- 
 gin it of ourselves, and think to do it in our 
 own strength : whereas it can only be done 
 in faith and the Spirit's power. 
 
 We are ruined by fancying we are what 
 we know or read, or that we can make our- 
 selves so in the turn of a thought ; or if we 
 do see and own a defect, yet thinking ten- 
 derly of ourselves when we are chargeable 
 with horrid depravity, and absolutely unfit 
 for God. 
 
 Man's holiness : much ado about nothing. 
 If you would have a good opinion of your 
 heart, keep the Holy Ghost out of it. 
 
 Every one must have observed thit in 
 paroxisms of passion, or ill humour, the 
 judgment is absolutely disabled ; we are in- 
 capable of reasoning ; keenly in the wrong, 
 and very positive, it is not uncommon for 
 persons to be thus blind in cold blood, and 
 some all their lives. 
 
 Reason never discerns itself, or any thing 
 else truly > till he sees its own impotence. 
 
 Some will mortify themselves in many 
 things ; and do almost every thing in religion 
 but one ; unfortunately that one is the test 
 of their obedience, and the very thing requi- 
 red of them. 
 
 Let this be ever uppermost in my 
 thoughts, and the great rule of my convers- 
 
140 THOUGHTS OK RELIGIOi:, ScC, 
 
 in,^ with all, that we are immortal beings in 
 the first stage of our existence ; full of mis- 
 takes ; or unconcerned about the matter, 
 and yet dreadfully concerned in the issue. 
 
 Sense of an irretrievable error in life, 
 fastening upon the mind, is a foretaste of 
 heil. 
 
 We may find out the selfish stubbornness 
 of our wills, unmortined desires, and eai'thly 
 bent, in sm ill crosses, when we do not in 
 srreater. Great crosses seem to furnish some 
 excuse for complaint, and nature is m.ore 
 pitied than blamed for sinking under them* ; 
 but small ones, fretting and galling us, af- 
 ford no refuge agidnst conviction- 
 
 Despair is the growth of pride, and not of 
 huiniilty. Why are we overwhelmed with 
 doubts and fears ? Because we are u^^vorth}^- 
 Is it not plain, therefore, that we look for a 
 Worthiness in ourselves which we neither 
 have nor ever shall have ? 
 
 Why are we more alarmed and concerned 
 at breaches of duty to man than God, but 
 because they are seen and observed ? Wliat 
 ^hen is our principle of action ? 
 
 When men love and admJre us, we think 
 it is for some merit in ourselves, and for a 
 natural working of pride can love them a- 
 ^lin^ It is^for the same reason that we love: 
 God so little, notwithstanding his superabun- 
 dant goodness to us in Christ, because it 
 lays us IcMv, strips us of all exGeiienGC, and 
 
HUMAN DEPKAVITY. 141 
 
 can only be received in a deep sense of our 
 own unworthiness. 
 
 We are often more ashamed than grieved 
 and humbled for our sins. Our own con- 
 sciousness of them, and of God's being pri- 
 vy to them, does not pain us near so much 
 as it would to have them known to others. 
 See, therefore, whether what yo\i call your 
 penitence is not more pride than any thing 
 else. 
 
 Why docs the present hour come loaded 
 with disgust, and lie heavy upon our hands, 
 but because we know not what to do in it ; 
 or resolve to do any thing but what we 
 should ! 
 
 Not one in a thousand forms his plan of 
 life and pursues it steadily from principle 
 and regard to the will of God ; if we did-, 
 there would hardly be an unhappy man in 
 the world. 
 
 *' God be merciful to me, a sinner," said 
 the publican. If I was to hear you wishing 
 to be the man, I should hope well of your 
 case ; if you say you are, it is a hundred to 
 one you are mistaken. 
 
 If you would know what your root is, con- 
 sider how your virtues are m exercise to- 
 wards God. You abhor the imputation of 
 ingratitude ; the meaning is, you would not 
 have the world think that you are ungrateful ; 
 for, perhaps, you have not one spark of gra- 
 tjtude to vour c^^eat Benefiictor, your God, 
 
142 THOWCHTS ON RELtCtOK', SiC. 
 
 and Father. You would not be false to the 
 marriage bed ; but where is your fidtlity to 
 Jesus, the Lord and Husband of every 
 Christian ? And as to the poiut of justice, a 
 most sacred virtue, and very high in your es- 
 teem ; why must every creature have its due 
 from you, and not God ; and why do you 
 think so little of what is your due ? You ho- 
 nour the command of a man like yourself; 
 but why are so many of God's commands 
 slighted ? 
 
 Learned men, and inquirers into nature, 
 are bent upon knowing a great deiU in this 
 world, where we can hardly know any thing, 
 and too often neglect the means of knowhig 
 every thing in another. 
 
 Wretched mankind ! who, in your natural 
 state can only be happy in opposition to the 
 will of God. 
 
 Every natural man's aim, in all he says 
 and does, is first to gain his own good opin- 
 ion, and then to appear better to others than 
 he does to himself. The scripture doctrine of 
 the fall and universal depravity of niankind, 
 though not denied, has but litfle effect, be- 
 cause every man has a good opnaon of one 
 and sees corruption only in others. 
 
 It is a full vindication of Providence that 
 every man mav choose God for his friend 
 and portion, if he pleases ; and that so few 
 do, is a full proof of the blindness, corrup- 
 tion, and degeneracy of mankind. 
 
 It is the great dispute of the world, and of 
 
HVlflAV DEFIAVITY. 143 
 
 Everyman naturallv with himself, whether 
 happiness consists in the commission or for- 
 bearance of sin ; and most of those who de- 
 clare for the latter, contradict themselves by 
 their courses. 
 
 No one can boast of what he does, or ever 
 think of bringing it to account, who consi^ 
 ders what he does not do. 
 
 Not to sin may be a bitter cross. To sin 
 is hell. 
 
 In respect of sin, I am where the pLigue 
 is, see many sick of it, and in continual dan- 
 ger myself. 
 
 A wrathful, passionate man, is as Mount 
 Vesuvius, hollow, and stored with combus- 
 tible matter which is every now and then 
 breaking out to the terror and anguish of all 
 about him. 
 
 God can save us only by his own power, 
 for his glory, merely in a way of grace and 
 favour, solely by Christ, to the end we may 
 love, adore, and praise him ; and yet the 
 wish and will of man, notwithstanding the 
 peculiar discoveries of the Christian religion, 
 and the fullest conviction of infinite defect, is 
 to be independent and self saved. 
 
 I wi)uld gladly believe that the nature of 
 mankind is not so bad as mine ; and yet 
 when I observe the defects of the best of 
 men, I find there is but little ground for any 
 such hope. 
 
 One great mistake of the world, and the 
 greatest bar to the happiness and well-bebg 
 
144 rnevGnrs ok religion, &c. 
 
 of mankind, rich and poor, is thinking that 
 all the money we are possessed of is our 
 own. 
 
 Perhaps many who think themselves high 
 in Christ's school, have not yet begun with 
 his A, B, C. 
 
 I fear nothing so much, and there is no- 
 thing 1 have so much reason to fear, as my- 
 self. 
 
 If sin had not brou,::^ht death into the 
 world, and Christ to the cross, we should 
 never have known so much of the goodness 
 of God as we do. 
 
 Sinning is so much a nature, and so close 
 wrought into the constitution of man, that I 
 can scarcely form a conception of existence 
 without it. 
 
 I can no more root out the evil qualities of 
 my soul by any volition, resolution, or ef- 
 forts of my own, than I can think the stone 
 out of my body. 
 
 Oh! that longed for the time of perfect 
 deliverance both of soul and body. 
 
 O that sigh ! Do happy people ever sigh ? 
 I find I want something which God will not 
 suffer me to have ; and till we are of the 
 same mind, life can be nothing at bottom 
 but one perpetual sigh. 
 
 We can take reproof patiently from a 
 book, but not from a tongue. The book 
 hurts not our pride, the living reprover does ; 
 f\nd we cannot beai* to have our faults seen 
 by others. 
 
HUMAN BEFRAVITY^. 145 
 
 We confess our emptiness to God in very 
 strong terms: and when we have done pray- 
 ing, are apt to depend altogether upon our- 
 selves. 
 
 It is a vain and impious thought, to ima- 
 gine that I can do any thing by my own 
 strength. Dependence on God, in every 
 single act of thinking and willing, is both my 
 duty and security. 
 
 It may justly be questioned whether self- 
 power can be communicated to a creature. 
 
 It is much easier to join one's self to a 
 sect than to God. 
 
 The soul is naturally frightened, and 
 shrinks from the thought of living only upon 
 God, and to God. 
 
 Submitting to the Spirit's operation, is 
 like being laid naked upon the table to be 
 cut for the stone. IVJortification carries death 
 to the enemv of it, and is a stab at the heart. 
 Nature's conclusion is, "therefore not to« 
 day.'; 
 
 It is a sore trial to the soul, which knows 
 any thing of itself, to come close up to God ; 
 he is light and truth, all love and purity ; the 
 soul dark, selfish, and sin-polluted. 
 
 The reason why we should draw nigh to 
 God, and keep a continual intercourse with 
 him, is the reaon why we do not ; we want 
 his light and help, and this want is the very 
 thing which makes us averse to him, and 
 keeps us from him. 
 
 Man would be intolerable to himself and 
 
 N 
 
146 THOUGHTS ON RELIGION^ &€. 
 
 look out every way for help, if it was not for 
 kis pride. 
 
 There is in the heart of man a deep rooted 
 '::ovetousness ; a subtle worldly spirit, sug- 
 gesting diabolical, murderous thoughts for 
 its own ends. 
 
 If God did not take us to himself, few 
 would go to him of their own accord. 
 
 ** Why callest thou me good ?" O man ! 
 why callest thou thyself good ? 
 
 We see and know enough of ourselves, to 
 dread the thought of being seen and known 
 by others; and knowing that God sees us, 
 and looking on ourselves without pain, self- 
 condemnation, or one mortifying reflection, 
 is a fatal symptom, and full proof of our spi- 
 ritual deadness. 
 
 We get a glimpse of true wisdom, and 
 know how we should live, perhaps an hour 
 before we die. 
 
 If we seek our happiness in any thing be- 
 sides the peace of God and a good con- 
 science, we shall as certainly be unhappy as 
 that every thing in the world is uncertain* 
 
 Parting with sin is harder than parting 
 with my wife-^she was bone of my bone, 
 and flesh of my flesh ; sin is in the bone and 
 in the flesh, and twisted about every fibre of 
 the heart. 
 
 Religious truths, and religious einploy- 
 ments are not so much our choice for the 
 sake of their own excellence, as a force upon 
 nature, and what we fly to as some kind of 
 
HUMAN DEPRAVITY. 147 
 
 relief from the vanity and insufFiciency of 
 every thing else. 
 
 If \vc might be easy and satisfied in and 
 from the world, perhaps we should look no 
 -where else for happiness. 
 
 Though nature is dying, and as to the 
 strength and vigour of it almost gone, corrup- 
 tion is strong as ever : and herein is full 
 proof that it does not die w^ith the body. 
 
 To unregenerate men, it may be less pain- 
 ful to suffer than to do the will of God. 
 
 It is justly said that sin must be hated and 
 abhorred for its own sake, apart from conse- 
 quences ; but who almost Vv^ould not sin, in 
 one respect or other, if they were equally 
 sure of heaven, sin or not ? 
 
 The more I attempt to murder time, the 
 more lif-^ it has to murder me, soul and bo- 
 dy : if I put my time in my pocket, it is no 
 excuse to say that 1 do not carry it to the 
 play-house. 
 
 Time waits upon the soul early every 
 morning, and says, What wilt thou have me 
 to do to-day ? It is a shame to say wliat the 
 answer is, but will one day be known. 
 
 I would willingly go to Siberia for the re- 
 mainder of my life, if i could leave myself 
 behind me. 
 
 The soul is not self-sufficient, cannot be 
 independent, must have some prop ; unhap- 
 pily it chooses such as shrink under it. 
 
 We do not set the mark of holiness high 
 enough ; we do not raise our desire up to the 
 
148 THOUGHTS OK IlELI<5I0N, &C. 
 
 scripture standard of it ; we do not trust and 
 pray enough. 
 
 What should I be, if I had talents to be 
 proud of, when I am so proud of nothing ? 
 
 I cannot take the dimensions of Christ's 
 love, without a proper knowledge of my own 
 sin. 
 
 Strictly speaking, there is no difference of 
 character with God, in point of real excel- 
 lence and exact conformity to his law. 
 
 Sin keeps no Sabbaths. 
 
 The foliy of irreligion is either desiring 
 that last which we most want, or presuming 
 that we can do every thing for ourselves, and 
 so never applying to God. 
 
 A full sight of the corruption of human 
 nature, if we exempt ourselves from it in 
 whole or in part, will certainly be followed 
 with a splenetic contempt of others, ap- 
 proaching to misanthropy. 
 
 The deformity of present sin is hidden, or 
 very much lessened by its concomitant plea- 
 sure ; past sin, the pleasure of it being gone, 
 appears to be what it is. 
 
 God's pity will hold me up and carry me 
 through ; my own, with all the reason I can 
 put to it, and all the efforts I can make, is no- 
 thing. 
 
 How sad, during life, to have conscience 
 only a tormentor. 
 
 My corruption is strong, and bondage to 
 sin evident, when I am so long in making 
 
HUMAN DEPRAVITY. 149 
 
 what I know to be a right and necessary 
 choice. 
 
 I see my sin in every person I meet. 
 If the heart is not filled with a pure love, 
 by a divine change, its nature is corruption, 
 and it can be nothing but a sink of iniquity, 
 whatever disguise it may put on to deceive 
 both the world and itself. 
 
 It would be great self- ignorance and pre- 
 sumption in me to say, I will not sin to-day. 
 Men love only those wh^love them, hard- 
 ly any without a view to some advantnge of 
 their own, and never those who are enemies, 
 or thwart their interest and inclinations : God 
 loves man purely and disinterestedly, not- 
 withstanding his vileness, aversion, and en- 
 mity to him. 
 
 People never tell more lies than in their 
 prayers 
 
 I should never had the stone in my blad- 
 der or kidnejrs, or both, if I had not first had 
 a stone in my heart. 
 
 Sinning is putting poison into the sting of 
 death. 
 
 The great dependence through life, with 
 most men, is on to-morrow, and to-morrow 
 is still before, while it will never be over- 
 taken. 
 
 It is the hardest thing in the world to call 
 out in earnest for help against one's self, and 
 yet all depends upon it. 
 
 Though I have used myself to think mean- 
 ly of the human heart, and have great reason 
 N 2 
 
i50 THOUGiitS 07^ RELIGION, &€. 
 
 SO to do from the knowledge I have of my 
 own, yet I am sensible that it is an un- 
 known depth. 
 
 We never turn to God as our centre of 
 rest, supreme delight, and sovereign good, 
 till we have tried every thing else. 
 
 Gataker, supposing that the practice of 
 Marcus Antoninus was conformed to his 
 sentiments, confesses with shame how far he 
 came short of so great a pattern : but this 
 very thing shows the superior excellence ot 
 the Christian ; no heathen philosopher ever 
 made such a confession. With all their 
 knowledge they did not know themselves. 
 
 It is a real but most horrible truth, that 
 the bulk of mankind are not in charity with 
 God. 
 
 It is wonderful to consider how naturally 
 we all lean to the law for salvation, without 
 observing that we are as naturally averse to 
 the practice of it as inclined to lean to it, and 
 that it is impossible to answer its demands. 
 
 If I could do for myself what I ask of 
 God, I should be a god to myself ; I should 
 have little dependence upon or regard for the 
 God who made heaven and earth : I should 
 hardly believe there is such a God. 
 
 Sin, by a natural riglit, demands execution 
 of its curse at God's hands. 
 
 One reason why the world is not reformed 
 is, because every man would have others 
 make a beginning, and never thinks of him- 
 self. 
 
HITMAN DEPRAVITY. 151 
 
 If I was to think daily and hourly, and 
 think of nothing else for a thousand years but 
 how to cleanse my heart, or root one vice out 
 of it in my own strength, I should be no 
 nearer to it at the end that I was at the be- 
 ginning. 
 
 There may be horrid pride in confessing 
 and aggravating our sins: — *' That ever I 
 should do this !" — Why, w^ho are you ? Do 
 you not see that you are making yourself 
 somebody with God. 
 
 instead of making religious exercises a 
 step of approach to God, seeking God by 
 them, and pressing to God through them, 
 there is danger of making them a pretence 
 for keeping ourselves from him, and a means 
 of quieting conscience without him. 
 
 It is a great point of religion to know the 
 heart. I see but a very small part of its de- 
 ceit, hypocrisy, and desperate wickedness. 
 
 We have commonly one master sin, and 
 arc so blinded with it, as not to see others as 
 great, and more dangerous, because they are 
 hidden. / i / 
 
 With v/hat reluctance should we submit 
 to sleep, if this present period of our exist- 
 ence was dioroughly happy ; as it is not, it is 
 a mercy that we are under a necessity of 
 sleeping out so considerable a part of it ; and 
 this very necessity is also a proof and con- 
 viction, that we neither are, nor intended to 
 be perfectly happy in this present life.-,^ 
 Whenever the happiness of man is complete. 
 
152 THOUGHTS ON RELIGION, &eC. 
 
 God, the author of it, will not suHl-r it to ad- 
 mit of any iiV.eiTiiption : " they rest not, day 
 nor night, cryitig, holy," &c. Rev. iv. 8. 
 
 Onr whole behaviour by nature is a per- 
 petual disguise. The nyschief of this is, 
 that we take ourselves not only for what we 
 appear to be, but for what we would be 
 thought to be ; and continue strangers to 
 the corruption of our hearts, and deaf to the 
 word of God ; the great purpose of which 
 is, to discover and make known that corrup- 
 tion, the method of cure, and the necessity 
 of complying with it. 
 
 Nature shrinks from the ghastly apparition 
 of its own corruption ; will not believe it in 
 good earnest ; thinks it may be retained (in 
 part at least) with impunity ; flies from the 
 sight to sensuality and vain amusements. It 
 is a dreadful thing lor man, captivated as he 
 is by the spirit of the world, to be told that 
 he must die to it by a deep abhorrence of 
 his state. This shows the necessity of that 
 divine touch upon our spirits, called faith ; 
 and the effect wherever it is produced, proves 
 the reality of it. 
 
 1 Sam. xii. 21. "And turn ye not aside, 
 for then should ye go after vain things, which 
 cannot profit nor deliver ;" together with Isa. 
 xlv. 20,21. Jer. xvi. 19, 20. See here the 
 mischief and venom of idolatry. Man is in 
 a fallen state ; wants deliverance ; cannot 
 help himself ; and yet, by a strange per- 
 verseness iii his will and understanding. 
 
KUMAJyJ DLPHAVITY. 153 
 
 turns from the only Being that can help him, 
 to things confessedly more impotent than 
 himself. Sad proof of his degeneracy, and 
 ©f the blind subjection he is in to evil spirits. 
 
 This world is confessedly not the region 
 of happiness ; all is uncertainty, disappoint- 
 ment, and delusion. One would think,: 
 therefore, that those at least who pretend not 
 to love it, and to dread its snares, should be 
 glad to be removed out of it into a place of 
 safety and happiness ; but generally speak- 
 ing, they wish to be excused, and there arc 
 very ftw who really desire it. Alas, it is to 
 be feared that even those who are called, and 
 think themselves, Christians, are sadly insin- 
 cere, and little known either to themselves or 
 others. 
 
 I believe the highest angels are the hum- 
 blest of all creatures. They neither glory in 
 their rank, nor ascribe their state and conti- 
 nuance in it to their obedience and readiness 
 to do the will of God ; but cast their crowns 
 down I>efore the throne, as knowing that 
 they are what they are by continual influxes 
 from thence : and yet vile man thinks it 
 hard that he may not make some reckoning 
 of his works and services, even in his pollu- 
 ted, unregenerate state. 
 
 It is the nature of man to wrangle, fight, 
 and shed blood. So long as men are men„ 
 there can be no such thing as peace, national 
 eivil, or ecclesiastical. 
 
154 THOUGHTS OM RELrGIO>f, StC 
 
 The concealment of our good actions may 
 proceed from pride, and without due care 
 and reflection will increase it to a dangerous 
 height. We shall be apt to make ourselves 
 amends at home for our self denial abroad, 
 and pay ourselves to the full that applause 
 which we think we so justly deserve. And, 
 O ! liow we hug the dear idol self compla- 
 cency, when it is tinselled over with a show 
 of humility. 
 
 The carnal mind is the life of sense; by which 
 is not meant, gross sensuality, or immor- 
 ality, but acquiescence in our state as such, 
 without any thought or desire of a change ; 
 loving and adhering to the world : a full re- 
 lish of earthly enjoyments, and a fondness 
 of earthly comforts, and the means of procu- 
 ring them. If this is the prevailing habit 
 ajid temper of the mind, God is fatally ex- 
 cluded, let a man think what he will of him- 
 self, or what fair pretences soever he may 
 make to religion. Bui say some, *'How 
 must we know when this is our case ?" Ne- 
 ver till the doctrine of the cross is in good 
 earnest attended to, and we come to under- 
 stand the contrariety of such a state to the 
 will of God, and consider it as our absolute 
 unfitness for the kingdom of heaven. But 
 then, this is not the whole of the ctirnal mind: 
 to bring it farther into view, let us take our 
 rise from scripture ; " Except your right- 
 eousness exceed the righteousness of tlue 
 scribes and pharisees ;" that iS; of mere men* 
 
HUMAN DEPRAVITY. 155 
 
 though ever so learned, " ye shall in no case 
 enter into the kingdom of heaven;" for the 
 scribes and pharisees here represent the great 
 doctors and rationalists, so called, of all ages 
 and places ; and it does not appear from 
 scripture that they were scandalously defec- 
 tive in point of morals, or what is commonly 
 called virtue. What then should be the 
 reason that Christ, all mild and gracious as 
 he was, ever speaks to and of them with a 
 sharpness that seems to need an apology ? 
 It was because they were foremost in a fiital 
 error, and would be apt to lead others into 
 it, viz. that of self justification, and the real- 
 ity and merit of human virtue, which at the 
 best is infinitely defective, generally founded 
 upon rotten principles, and can never stand 
 the judgment of God. This our Saviour 
 shows plainly in the remainder of the chap- 
 ter ; and indeed in his whole sermon upon 
 the mount, as well as in other places of the 
 gospel* 
 
 What an astonishing thing is sin, which 
 makes the God of love and Father of mer- 
 cies an enemy to his creatures, and which 
 could only be purged by the blood of the 
 Son of God ! Though all must believe this 
 who believe the Bible, yet the exceeditig sin- 
 fulness of sin is but weakly apprehended by 
 those who have the deepest sense of it, and 
 will never be fully known in this world. 
 
 " Their heart is far from me." Some time 
 ago this text was strong upon my mind, b«t 
 
156 THeUGHTS ON RELieiON, fec. 
 
 soon neglected and forgotten. Supposing ii 
 to be suggested and presented by the Spirit 
 for present use to no purpose, Ave may con- 
 ceive the manner of the Spirit's working, 
 and how it is quenched by man's resistance 
 or inattention. 
 
 The devil has great advantage from nature, 
 pushing down hiil, and sometimes from the 
 top to the bottom in a moment. The Spi- 
 rit's work is up-hill ; it is by the greatest of 
 miracles that any soul is ever brought to 
 God. 
 
 How astonishing is the quantity of miseiy 
 in the world ! How many thousands are rend- 
 ing the air with the cry of pain or w retched- 
 ness ! Strange, that ever there should be so 
 much ; that there should be any suffering in 
 the creation of a good God! Doubtless 
 there is a cause for it ; and if Moses had not 
 told us what it is, we should be for ever in 
 the dark. O, Adam, what hast thou not 
 done ! O, man, what art thou always doing ! 
 O Jesu, what hast thou not done to relieve 
 guilt and pain ; to sweeten adversity ; to 
 blunt the sting of death ; to restore happi- 
 ness in some degree to the earth, and insure 
 it in eternity ! 
 
 Sin is against my retirements, against my 
 prayers, against the sacrament, against the 
 bowels and wounds of Christ, against my 
 possession and enjoyment of him, against 
 peace in life and comfort in death, 
 
HUMAN DLPRAVlTi'. 157 
 
 against time, against eternity, against all my 
 hopcs. 
 
 I am sure, both from scripture, and long ex- 
 perience of my weakness, that it is God who 
 workedi in us both to will and to do ; and 
 yet my self-sufficient efforts towards a better 
 state are a practical denial of this belief ; in- 
 stead of leaving it to God to verify his word, 
 and execute his own promises I would fain 
 do all by a willing and working of my own. 
 
 A person may be high in saintship, and 
 yet dumb to the question. Do you not break 
 every one of the commandments ? 
 
 It is the general opinion of mankind, and 
 what the fathers, Chrysostom, and others, 
 flourish much upon with great confidence, 
 that the will is free. I do not find it so. — 
 The captivity of my will is my misery, and 
 great complaint before God ; nor do I think 
 that if it was in equilibrio, that any man up- 
 on earth would choose evil. The scripture 
 affirms that the imcigination of man's heart is 
 ei'il continually ; and it is a great point 
 gained, and directs to a necessary subject 
 of prayer, to know that the will is bound, 
 and that none but God can set it free. 
 
 If God should do any thing but what he 
 does, in any the minutest instance ; send one 
 drop of rain more or less ; diminish one 
 pain ; heighten one enjoyment ; add or take 
 away one moment of life, the consequence 
 might be very bad ; and yet what is almost 
 all the praying in the world for, but to tel? 
 
158 THOUGHTS ON RELIGION, &.C. 
 
 him that we are displeased with his will, and 
 desire him to change it. 
 
 When sin is to be renounced as sin, and 
 consequently all sin, the resistance of nature 
 is incredible. 
 
 If hypocrisy is taking up more reputation 
 than we caii answer in real worth, who is not 
 an hypocrite ? 
 
 Nothuig is a greater proof of man's folly 
 and corruption than that if he was left to 
 choose his own happiness, and order all 
 events for himself and others, he would cer- 
 tainly ruin both himself and them. 
 
 Sin is ths sole cause of all the evil that is 
 in the world, either as produced by it, or the 
 punishment of it. 
 
 Forbearing sin, because I am to pray at 
 such an liour, or receive the sacrament such 
 a day, is only putting it off to a more conve- 
 nient tune. 
 
 While the veil is upon the heart, the veil 
 is upon every thing. 
 
 Whenever I spy a fault in another, I am 
 determined to look for two in myself, and 
 they will not be far to seek. 
 
 As meanly as I think of mankind, I still 
 find niyseir inordinately pursuing their ap- 
 plause, and am apt to fear their censure more 
 than the displeasure of God. 
 
 Ever}' natural man has one or more good 
 qualities, by which alone he estimates his 
 worrh and character, and lives and dies an 
 infidel to his bad ones. 
 
HUMAN DEPRAVITY. 159 
 
 Whatever we see without the Spirit's eyes 
 can have no other effect than to fill us with 
 conceit of a knowledge which we have not, 
 and seal us up in carnal security. 
 
 Hell is being given up to the full know- 
 ledge and and essential malignity of sin ; the 
 scriptures say without hope, and for ever ; 
 and it does not appear to me that any criti- 
 cism has yet explained away the precise 
 meaning of it. 
 
 Opposition to the will of God is the es- 
 sence and sole cause of all our misery. — 
 There is no possibility of happiness but in 
 compliance with it, and yet there can be none 
 m a forced conformity to it. It must of all 
 necessity be the great object of the soul, its 
 rest and centre, and every thing must be sa- 
 crificed to it cheerfully and with delight. — 
 Who shall bring us to this ? For if it is not 
 my nature, I see at once that I can no more 
 make myself so than I could make myself at 
 ihe first. 
 
 The understanding discerns, in most 
 cases, as truly and immediately what is right, 
 as the eye does light and colours ; and why 
 then dees not the will always comply with 
 the dictates of reason and judgment ? It 
 would if it was free. 
 
 Sin is the only thing which God hates, and 
 almost the only thing that man loves. 
 
 There is not an outward sin but we can 
 resolve against and abstain from, to avoid 
 shame and the censure of the world. Two 
 
160 
 
 THOUGHTS ON RELIGION, cs.C = 
 
 things follow from hence ; first, that natural 
 weakness, in respect of sin, is not so great as 
 Is pretended ; the other is dreadful to think 
 of, and dreadfully plain, viz. that if we do 
 not resolve against and avoid all sin for 
 God's sake, from whom we know nothing is 
 hid, we do not fear him. 
 
 Sin must be resisted, and the outward act 
 of any sin may be avoided ; but we cannot 
 cast it out of the heart. 
 
 Sensible fear and love of God, or dread of 
 his displeasure, and an habitual, steady reso- 
 kiticn to secure his favour, is the work and 
 proof of regeneration by a divine power ; for 
 naturally we neitlier have this disposition, 
 nor ability to acquire it. 
 
 When reason is convinced and duty evi- 
 dent, sliil the will is bound, and no power of 
 man can set it free. . 
 
 The generality think of nothing but get- 
 ting to heaven by a lie ; cither that they ha\'e 
 little or no sin, or that sin hath litde or no 
 harm in it. 
 
 We tell God that we are sinners, misera- 
 ble and helpless, but cannot bear to be told 
 so by others. 
 
 Think not what you are to have, biit what 
 you should be and are not, and then be proud 
 if you can. 
 
 Christ says, " Sit down in the lowest 
 room ;" but the lowest, according to St. 
 I^aul, is so very low^ that hardlv a single man 
 
HLTMAX DErRAVITY. 161 
 
 will sit down in it. Read Rev. iii. 17 — 18. 
 Gal. V. 19—21. Tit. iii. 3. 
 
 With respect to a man's character, he had 
 better be guilty of almost anv .in tlian what 
 the world calls too much religion. 
 
 Man is fallen into a deplorable state of 
 blindness, impotence and corruption ; will 
 not believe it in good earnest; prides himself 
 in his own abilities ; will stand or fall l)} the 
 light of vvdiat lie calls his reason, and rejects 
 his only remedy, which is dying to his state 
 isnd nature, his own works, will, and wisdom, 
 that Christ may live in him, and be all in all 
 in him, wisdom, righteousness, and sanctiE- 
 cation, and, by these, redemption. 
 
 It is a rare thing for people to think them- 
 selves fools now ; it is esteemed humility 
 enough to think they have been so. 
 
 We could never have so goodly a conceit 
 of ourselves, if we had not first an undue opin- 
 ion of self-power ; that is to say, unless we 
 ^vere proud, and full of a spirit of independen- 
 cy. It seems to be the most general opinion, 
 that this was the cause of the angels' and of 
 Adam's fall ; and if so, it is the greatest bar 
 10 the recovery of the soul. 
 
 Whatever was the sin of Lucifer, it is pro- 
 bable the sin of Adam was the same, it is 
 natural to suppose the devil would tempt 
 him to transgress in the same ww that he 
 himself did, as well knowing the sad effects 
 of.it. 
 
 o2 
 
162 THOUGHTS ON RELIGIOI^, &Co 
 
 Virtue is chiefly eonsidercd by us as ne- 
 cessary for the peace and welfare of society ; 
 and this is generally pretty well secured by 
 that spurious thing which has the name of it, 
 viz. convenience, ease, and a sense of reputa- 
 tion. If our behaviour is but calculated to 
 answer these ends, we look no farther ; and, 
 perhaps, wonder in the pride of our hearts, 
 why God does not, as he casih' might, inter- 
 pose to prevent the mischiefs occasioned by 
 the perverseness of a few : but then, He 
 himself is ever and anon troubling the order 
 of the world and the repose of rnehviduals, 
 by terrible inflictions^ The consequence is 
 plain, we are ignorant of our state, and live 
 in a peq^etual mistake. God does not make 
 so great reckoning of this life as we do. He 
 aims at the reformation of the heart ; and the 
 severe methods he takes to bring it abouty 
 prove the necessity of such a reformation. 
 
 What farther proof can we need of the 
 ^rretched perverseness and corruption of 
 man's heart, than that he should desire, es- 
 teem, and love the things which are confess- 
 edly unable to make him happy, and that 
 what can, should be the only thing he does 
 not desire. , 
 
 The man who knows himself to be a de- 
 vil is in a fair way to be a saint. Rom. iii. 
 9—18. 
 
 It is no uncommon thing for men to do 
 good without virtue, give without charity, 
 and pray without religion* 
 
HUMAN iJEPaAVITV. 163 
 
 It is difficult to keep self from mingling 
 with the word of salvation. We think it 
 Jiard that we may not be allowed to pay some- 
 thing towards the price of it ; to contribute 
 some work or fancied worthiness of our own, 
 that is to say, (shocking thought I) we w^ould 
 put something of our own into the scale with 
 the blood of Christ, to make it full weight. 
 
 There is someihing odd happens in the 
 mixing of Paganism with Christianity. The 
 appearance of Christianity remains, the sub- 
 stance evaporat'S ; the appearance of Pagan- 
 ism vanishes, the substance remains. 
 
 If we were left to nature to choose a God 
 and a heaven for ourselves, it would not be 
 the God that made the heavens and the earth, 
 raor our heaven that where he dwelleth. 
 
 Reading is for the most part only a more 
 refined species of sensuality, and answers 
 man's purpose of shuffling off his great work 
 with God and himself, as well as a bail or a 
 masquerade. 
 
 Man is an errant bungler at God's work ; 
 he spoils all if he does but touch it with a 
 inger. What a terrible mortification ! to 
 think that the business of his salvation can- 
 Hot go forward unless he is separated from 
 himself ; and, as it were, outlawed as a mis- 
 chievous person, or thrown into a corner as 
 a piece of useless lumber. 
 
 Business, amusement, company, a general 
 relish of life, and a confused hope of mercy 
 in God, or of future amendment, keep the 
 
164, THOUGHTS 0!^ heliciok, he, 
 
 soul tolerably quiet here : but how dreadful- 
 ly aninzing is it to think oiits being cousigutd 
 to a state of eternal reprobation, without one 
 single object to divert its attention from its 
 own fnfi;htful Ucikedness. 
 
 It may not be iniproper to consider every 
 person we happen to be in compan} v\ iJi in 
 three res]>ectb, let his station or circuiTi stances 
 be what they wiii : 1st. as having an l^igh 
 opinion of himself ; — 2d. as one lor whom 
 Christ died ;— and 3d. as naturally lying un- 
 der great disadvaiitages with regard to his 
 spiritual concerns. The first will be a cau- 
 tion to us not to affront or offend him ; — the 
 2d. will engage us to promote his salvation ; 
 — the 3d. to pity his iiiiirmilies. 
 
 The greatest want of all, is a want of the 
 sense of our \vants. This is the root of infi. 
 deiity. 
 
 The generality of those who lead regular 
 moral lives, and think themselves settled up- 
 on a good bottom, for having been baptized, 
 &c. are but the more confim-ied in a natuni 
 unconverted state by what they call their 
 virtue. It is evident from a hundred things 
 they say and do, that the root of the matter 
 is not in them. 
 
 Upon little occasions, and for mere trifles, 
 I can become a hell to myself. What should 
 I do with this accursed nature, if I had no 
 other company but devils, who would take a 
 mAlicious pleasure in goading and stinging 
 me into their own torments ? 
 
HUMAN DEPRAVITY. 165 
 
 Every man naturally turns upon his own 
 centre, and is as much a detached system 
 from ever}' other man, as one fixed star is 
 from another ; what regard he has for the 
 species, or connexion wiih it, arises solely out 
 of this very selfishness or individualship. 
 
 If we were but half Christians, the world 
 would be at peace with us. 
 
 What is generally meant b^' a moral man, 
 is one who does not govern himself by the 
 fear of God or the Ten Commandments, but 
 by a law of his own making. 
 
 It is a matter of great self abasement, and 
 full proof. of our depravity, that sin, the only 
 thing which God hates, we should hate so 
 little. 
 
 Did the sight of your own deformity never 
 make you start ? 
 
 We were made to live in God as our ele- 
 ment, and are not in it. If this is not a flill, 
 ruin and death, what is ? 
 
 The devil will suffer us, nay, if it were 
 possible, he wrukl help us to put away every 
 sin but one, if. he could be sure he would 
 keep that one. 
 
 *' God lives through all life," — the soul of 
 man not excepted, which is no more self- 
 sufficient than self existent, but the most 
 helpless of all beings, though it proudly chal- 
 lenges independence. 
 
 The world is not altered since the time of 
 Socrates. Ask one bv one, and see who is 
 
166 THOUGHTS ON RELIGION, &C. 
 
 not mistaken as to the quantity of his wis- 
 dom and goodness. 
 
 If we were naked and open to all the 
 world, as we are to God, and in some mea- 
 sure to ourselves, how loathsome and abom- 
 inable ; what monsters should v/e appear. 
 
 It is time to have done with future pros- 
 pects, or a vain imagination that we shall be 
 happy, or more at ease, when such a point is 
 gained, or such an impediment removed ; 
 whereas nothing is more certain than that 
 every period of life, and every day will bring 
 its own burden along with it ; and that there 
 is no possibility of happiness, but in bearing 
 it according to the will of God. 
 
 CHAP. V. 
 KEPEiNTANCE. 
 
 THE repentance which precedes faith, con- 
 sists chiefly of a sense of danger and a fear 
 of punishment ; but when we come to have 
 a lively apprehension of pardoning love, and 
 our adoption in Christ, it is genuine, filial 
 sorrow for having offended God. 
 
 Generally speaking, it is to be feared we 
 
REPENTANCE. 167 
 
 do not dread sin, but the punishment of it ; 
 and yet till we hate sin, as such, and feel our 
 misery under it, it is in vain to talk of repent- 
 ance. 
 
 Till we are so convinced ef sin, as fully to 
 pronounce the sentence of condemnation up- 
 on ourselves, we shall not receive mercy, as 
 mercy, but consider it as a debt. 
 
 So long as we are joined to the world ; act- 
 ing in the main for worldly ends; attached to 
 its interest ; oppressed with its cares, or devo- 
 ted to its pleasures ; we must either totally re- 
 ject, or explain away the gospel. 
 
 The law is not satisfied by an outward ob- 
 servation of it, but by the inward disposition 
 of the heart ; we break it as much by a bare 
 outward keeping of it only, as by living in a- 
 vowed neglect of it. Perhaps the best of 
 men may find, upon consideration, that they 
 never performed one act of true and pure 
 obedience in all their lives. What convic- 
 tion is here ! and what a terrible blow is this 
 to our pride ! 
 
 Humility is a true sense of our state, and 
 must necessarily go before a cure ; but then 
 where is the virtue or merit of it ? A man 
 full of noisome, stinking sores, would be a 
 madman if he did not look out for a remedy, 
 whenever he came to be sensible of his con- 
 dition, but more so if he took any merit to 
 himself for knowing that he was thus dis- 
 eased. 
 
1^8 THOUGHT'S ON RELIGIOX, &€. 
 
 When once we can bear to know the truth 
 of ourselves, we shall be little concerned wlio 
 else knows it. 
 
 It is the vainest of all vanities, and pride in 
 perfection, to pretend to separate ourselves 
 from the world outwardly belore we are se- 
 parated from it inwardly. 
 
 Corruption is strong ; evil predominant ; 
 my state is wavering ; my soul in danger ; 
 Christ does not reign ; 1 am in the gall of 
 bitterness and the bond of iniquity/, till i ful- 
 ly resolve not to sin. 
 
 No man has the least glimpse of the in- 
 side of truth, till all conceit of merit and self 
 power is annihilated, iind lie is pierced 
 through and through with a sense of his 
 v-ileness and un worthiness. 
 
 How happy are we when v*'e can say truly, 
 " Lord, thou knov^est all my desire ; and 
 much more, when we can sigh and groan, 
 mourn and weep before God ! 
 
 As God looks principally at the heart, se 
 it is there he carries on his saving work . 
 
 We may polish our outward man, but 
 what shall we do by it, but to get the name 
 of whitened sepulchres ? 
 
 Must I always be humbling myself, and 
 going over the same track of repentance ? — - 
 Yes, till I have no sin, and to the end that the 
 same thouarhts and words mav take fast hold 
 of me, and become a habit by repetition. 
 
 ^ should consider the Ethiopian's skin, and 
 the Leopard's spots more than I do, that I 
 
REPENTANCE. 169 
 
 may pray more feelingly, and cast myself 
 wholly upon divine power. 
 
 Is there any such thing as regeneration, or 
 a change of nature, from sensuality to puri- 
 ty of heart, from flesh to spirit, from sin to 
 holiness, from the world to God ? So the 
 scripture says, and that nothing less is being 
 Christian. 
 
 I endeavour to take a measure of sin, that 
 I may know m}' obligations to Christ ; and 
 the necessity of his death, for sin helps me to 
 take a measure of it. I hardly know which 
 is first in the order of thinking, but all is well 
 when they act reciprocally upon each other. 
 
 It is the Spirit's office to convince of sin, 
 because he only has the power ; nothing that 
 others can say, or I can think, will bring me 
 to a true sense and feeling of it widiout him. 
 
 Till we know sin, and feel the burden of 
 it in some degree, we shall be blind to every 
 thing else in scripture, whether of nature or 
 grace ; we shall pray with great reserve, and 
 never mean half of what we say. 
 
 Rather than be ignorant of my sin. Lord, 
 speak to me in pain, sickness, loss of earthly 
 comforts, or any affliction thou choosest. 
 
 lam all astonishment when 1 think of the 
 number and greatness of my sins, and how. 
 long my life has been spared that I might re- 
 pent. 
 
 There may be an abiding consciousness 
 of sin, with self-condemnation, where there 
 is not the least degree of self-indignation or 
 p 
 
170 THOUGHTS ON RELIGION, &C. 
 
 self-abhorrencc. Humility is knowing that 
 we are not humble. 
 
 There is a vast difference between know- 
 ing and feeling sin, and spiritual things.— 
 We may know of ourselves, or, by teaching, 
 may be well-principled and abound in no- 
 tions ; but it is the Spirit only that makes us 
 feel. 
 
 If we would put doing in the place of 
 thinking, knowing, and wishing, we should 
 understand the meaning of Rom. vii. and be 
 convinced of the want of a better righteous- 
 ness than our own. 
 
 Pride is seeing the defects of others, and 
 overlooking our own. Humility is seeing, 
 feeling, and lamenting sin in ourselves ; not 
 only past, but present sin; not only actual 
 sin, but the root of it in an evil nature, and 
 all sin v/ithout disguise or extenuation, in all 
 its guilt and malignity. 
 
 No man is humbled or sincere with God, 
 till he is willing to know the worst of him- 
 self. 
 
 The Spirit's coming into the heart is the 
 touch of Ithuriers spear, and it starts up a 
 devil. 
 
 If I see myself bad enough for Christ, he 
 sees me good enough. 
 
 If my nature, heart, will, and affections 
 must be changed, God must doit ; for I can 
 no more change them thcin I could make 
 myself. Grc>d commands to strike at the 
 root of sin ; Ciirist puts the axe, sharpened 
 
REPENTAN<:-E;.- 171 
 
 with his blood, into the hands of all who are 
 willing, and the Spirit gives strength to the 
 blow. 
 
 Angelsfell from a state of distinguished 
 excellence, and man rises into their place 
 through vileness and emptiness. O, the 
 depth ! 
 
 God never makes any man what he should 
 be, without first making him know what he 
 is. O God, take the veil from my heart, 
 take the world, take pride, take self out of 
 my heart, and write there all thy laws, I be- 
 seech thee. 
 
 It is a hard thing; and a sore conflict, tb 
 renounce allsin, as sin, fully, finally, irrevo- 
 cably ; and probably many of those who 
 think they do, never tried it, and are hiddea 
 from themselves. 
 
 Whenever I sin in thought, word, or deed, 
 6r v/hatever sin I commit, the penalty of 
 death is incurred ; the thing is done and past, 
 and all the world cannot reverse the sentence. 
 The right spiritual understandmg and con- 
 viction of this is the beginning of faith, and 
 throws us upon Christ. 
 
 Legal repentance is before the cross of 
 Christ, and brings us up to it ; evangelical 
 is after, and begins from it. The latter only 
 is genuine, effectual, and lasting. 
 
 Is the evil I feel in myself painful and a 
 burden to nature as sin ? Or could I be 
 content, and perhaps better pleased with it, 
 
172 THOUGHTS ON RELIGION, £^C.- 
 
 if I was sure God would never lay it to my 
 charge ? 
 
 1 had rather know a work of the Spirit in 
 mourning for sin, as displeasing to God, in 
 love to Christ, and because it pierced him^- 
 than to be at the top of worldly joy. 
 
 There is iTo possibility of enjoyment but 
 in foilowTiig the natural bent ; for which 
 reason, virtue, to be hap})iness, must not be.' 
 only froni principle, and as it were forced 
 upcjn us by txaching, but the genuine rcsult- 
 and fteling of a natui-e. And l^cw can that 
 be bat by a new birth. 
 
 Whenever • know but a tenth part of ray 
 sin, I shall know that I am not beholden to 
 .Christ for nothing. 
 
 If God did net lay the burden of sin upon 
 us, iio man would lay it upon himself. How 
 fev, ever feel it. 
 
 Repentance is forsaking sin f-TGod, for 
 his favour, his blessing, and will. 
 
 I believe it will be found that the repent- 
 ance of most men is not so much sorrow for 
 sin, as sin, or real hatred of it, as sullen sor- 
 row that they are not allowed to sin. 
 
 It is fatal trifling with our souls, and hor- 
 rid delusion to see sin less, or condemn it 
 less in ourselves than we clo in others ; but 
 who can deal freely with himself in this pomt 
 without conviction from the Spirit of God ? 
 
 I have no proper idea of the horrible 
 cursed nature of sin as represented in the 
 
REPENTANCE. 173 
 
 cross of Christ ; but if it is so seen as to be 
 avoided, it is enough. 
 
 Seeing and condemning sin in ourselves, 
 as we do in others, without showing it mer- 
 cy, is repentance ; and then who almost re- 
 pents ? 
 
 Every sin, when newly committed, ama- 
 zes and terrifies the soul, though the sense of 
 it soon weai's off. How shall we be able to 
 bear the anguish of all our sins together, 
 when conscience, which forgets and extt nu- 
 uates none, brings them to our remem- 
 brance ? 
 
 We may be fully convinced, ihat spiritual 
 things are incomparably the most worthy 
 of our esteem, without giving them the pre- 
 ference in our affections. The former is a 
 decree of illumination, the latter only is con- 
 version. 
 
 A work of grace is carried on in a way of 
 our own thoughts, and with the consent of 
 the will ; but this concurrence does not ef- 
 fect the work, and is no more a proof of self- 
 power, than the earth's fertility, which is 
 wholly owing to a blessing from the clouds. 
 The moment we sin, there is an absolute 
 forfeiture of life incurred ; nothing but mer- 
 cy can now relieve us, and we must always 
 see ourselves in the light of condemned mal- 
 efactors ; for no future amendment can undo 
 what is past. 
 
 Till we see sin, we can never see it taken 
 away ; but merely seeing and feeling the 
 'p 2- 
 
174 THOUGHTS ON REL1C10N, bCL . 
 
 plague of sin is not repenting of it ; it is seen 
 and felt in hell. 
 
 No man ever turns to God for help, be- 
 lieves in Christ, or pn»ys for the Spirit till he 
 is frightened at himself ; and we need not 
 know the worst of ourselves to be heartily 
 frightened. 
 
 One sin fully known, and pressing liomc 
 upon the conscience in all guilt and malig- 
 nity, leads to the discovery of more, for 
 there is a fatal connexion. 
 
 There may be a consciousness and con« 
 viction of sin without hatred of it, real hu- 
 mility, self-abhorrence, or the extinction of 
 one spark of pride. 
 
 Finding that I am destitute of Ghristiati 
 graces and holy tempers, the question is, 
 how must I get myself possessed of them. — 
 And I am convinced at once I can no more 
 introduce a new set of affections into my na- 
 ture, than I could make myself at first. If 
 the scripture had not told us that this change 
 can be effected by nothing less than a divine 
 {>6wer, the thinj^ speaks for itself. Show me 
 a man of whom it can be truly said, that he 
 loves what he hated, and hates what he loved, 
 and I will pronounce him to be God's work- 
 manship. 
 
 I see less malignity in sin, and can more 
 easily forgive it, because I consider it not 
 chiefly as sin agaiTist God, but against my- 
 self, my own ease, reputation, and interest ; 
 in this point, and a leading one it is, scrip- 
 
KE'PENrANCE. 175 
 
 tural kfiowledge differs totally from natural. 
 The repentance which brings us to Christ is 
 toward God. 
 
 Lopping off the branches of sin, is labour 
 in vaiui and always to be renewed ; there is 
 no way but laying the axe to the root. 
 
 Sin should sit heavier on die soul, and cut 
 deeper into the heart, than the loss of a first- 
 born. BI( ssed are they that mourn ; and 
 who htis not cause for it ? 
 
 Till a man feels sin as a poison in his 
 blood, and finds that he cannot get rid of it 
 in this world, he will never think in good 
 earnest of anothc r. 
 
 No mim has any warrant from scripture to 
 believe that his sins are forgiven, unless he 
 repents of them : that is, is heartily sorry 
 for them, and earnestly desires to be deliver- 
 ed from the power of evil habits, and an evil 
 nature. 
 
 It cannot be expected that any man, not a 
 sinner, should repent ; that is, charge him- 
 self with guilt and folly, and desire a change 
 of his state, till he is convinced of the univer- 
 sal, total depravity of human nature. If he 
 is persuaded that there is an excellence, dig- 
 nity, rectitude, or good, belonging to the 
 species, he will compliment himself with it 
 all. 
 
 It is impossible for any man to know 
 Christ to be a Saviour, till he knows himself 
 to be a sinner. 
 
176 THOUGHTS ON -RELIGION, &e. 
 
 Man is never in God's way in spirituals, 
 till he quits himself and his own way. And 
 this I take to be the raost natural meaning of 
 the words, *' except ye be converted, and 
 become as little children," who are confes- 
 sedly helpless, incapable of acting for, and 
 governing themselves, ^' ye cannot enter into 
 the kingdoin of heaven." 
 
 It would be thought monstrous arrogance, 
 blasphemy, and invasion of God's preroga- 
 tive, for any one to pretend to make the soul 
 and body of a man. And yet perhaps it is i]o 
 less presumption to pretend to any share in 
 the creation of the spiritual man in Christ. — 
 Htnv is it possible should form the image 
 of God in myself when I do not know what 
 it is, nor ever shall, till it is actually produ- 
 ced in me ? It is well for us, that the v/ant of 
 such a previous idea is no hindrance to our 
 reception of it ; and for this we have St. 
 Paul's w^ord, who says, that what God work - 
 eth in us is exceeding abundantly above ali 
 that we can ask or think. This deserves to 
 be considered by the narrowers in all sects 
 and parties. 
 
 Justification by faith can never be received, 
 desired, sought after, or even understood, tiU 
 the soul has been well disciplined and bro- 
 ken under the pressure of the law, and 
 brought to a full sight and experience of its 
 inability to answer the demands of it. And 
 our acceptance of the free grace of God in 
 Christ will always necessarily be more or 
 
kss sincere, more or less fruitful in good 
 works, in proportion to our sense of the want 
 of it. 
 
 Those who have felt the misery of an evil 
 conscience, and laid groaning with anguish 
 of spirit under a heavy sense of God's wrath, 
 are comparatively in little danger of returning 
 to such a state, after they have once been de- 
 livered from it. 
 
 1 cannot get within myself, and yet all de- 
 pends upon it. It is not enough to know 
 diat God sees me, unless I see myself in my 
 own frightful nakedness. 
 
 There is nothing like being pinched, and 
 sore galled with a sense of guilt. Redcmp- 
 tion by Christ will then be viev/cd iii iis pro- 
 per point of light ; the glad tidings of the 
 gospel eagerly embraced by the disconsolate 
 fainting soul. It is impossible for those who 
 never telt the trouble and uneasiness of a 
 wounded conscience, to desire, or believe, 
 or value the peace of God. It is by a mira- 
 cle that any man repents. Many see the 
 folly of their conduct, and are sorry for the 
 inconveniencies they have broug4it upon 
 themselves and others by it ; but to be con- 
 vinced of guilt before God, to have a sight 
 and sense of our vileness, ar.d a hearty de- 
 testation of ourselves for it, is uhat I believe 
 never happens but under the working ai\d 
 influence of God's Spirit. 
 
 God will have his grace acknowledged in 
 the free pardon of our sins. But this can ne- 
 ver be till we feel and know in good earnest 
 
173 THOUGHTS ON RELIGION, &Cr 
 
 that we are sinners. God brings us under 
 the bond of the law, that' his mercy may be 
 magnified in releasing us from the terror, 
 curse, and punishment of it. The end of 
 this procedure is to show man his obligation 
 to the performance of law, his demerit in the 
 breach of it, and God's love in our forgive- 
 ness. And, in our present circumstances, 
 there is no other method of introducing into 
 the soul a sincere love of God ; for naturally 
 we do not love him. 
 
 When God calls to us in our hiding-place, 
 and says, " Where art thou?" the stoutest 
 heart will be afraid, notwithstanding its co- 
 vering of fig-leaves. 
 
 The knowledge of oirrselves, and of our 
 sinful condition by the fall, is one main point 
 in religion ; but then it is often a long time 
 before we are enough pinched with a sense 
 of it, to pray in good earnest. 
 
 When we find out our sin in one instance, 
 it should convince us of the guilt of more 
 yet undiscovered>and lead us to the accursed 
 root of all. 
 
 All is delusion and sad mistake till we 
 know Christ inwardly and experimentally by 
 the Spirit, as applying his whole salvation and 
 every part of it to the saul.— -1st. In his sore 
 judgements, convincing us of the greatness 
 and damnableness of sin, and of our own ski 
 in particular. — 2d. In his comforts, raising us 
 to a clear sense of, and cheerful confidence in 
 God, as a reconciled Father. — 3d. In hh 
 
JESUS fCHRISX. 179 
 
 cleaiibiHg operations, turning the strong man 
 out of possession, and enabling us to say tri- 
 umphantly, *' Behold all things are become 
 new." The great danger of miscarrying in 
 this work, is by passing too cursorily over 
 the first step, healing our wounds slightly, 
 and justifying ourselves too hastily. 
 
 We are never so near heaven as when we 
 find ourselves almost in hell. We cannot 
 stay long there. 
 
 It is impossible we should ever be upon a 
 footing of truth and sincerity with others, till 
 we know how to speak the truth to our- 
 selves. 
 
 CHAP. VI. 
 JESUS CHRIST. 
 
 CHRIST comes with a blessing in each 
 hand ; forgiveness in one, and holiness in the 
 other, and never gives either to any who will 
 not take both. 
 
 Christ's forgiveness of all sins is complete 
 at once, because less would not do us good ; 
 his holiness is di;^pensed by degrees, and to 
 none wholly in tliis life, lest we should slight 
 his forgiveness. 
 
180 THOUGHTS ON RELIGION, &.C. 
 
 I owe it to Jesus that I have a moment's 
 quiet. 
 
 The love of God springs from the know- 
 ledge of Christ, and seems impossible to 
 man in any other way. 
 
 I owe Christ a heart, a will, a life. 
 
 The Lord's Christ is the soul's joy, sup- 
 port and confidence in all states and condi- 
 tions ; riches in poverty, comfort in trouble, 
 ease in pain, health in sickness, life in death. 
 
 I see the glory and blessedness of God in 
 giving his Son to die for such sinners as I 
 am, and would give the world to have a live- 
 ly gratitude and burning love to him in my 
 heart ; but can have no peace but in think- 
 ing he died for my ingratitude. 
 
 Christ's riches, as in himself, are unsearch- 
 able ; in us they are soon told. 
 
 The salvation of man is as much the gift of 
 God, and the work of Christ, as his life and 
 being. 
 
 Christ never comes into the soul unattend- 
 ed ; he brings the Holy Spirit with him, and 
 the Spirit his train of gifts and graces. Lay 
 the foundation in him, and leave it to him 
 to raise God's building upon it. 
 
 Christ obeyed and suffered for me, that his 
 obedience and sufferings might be imputed 
 to me ; and because no obedience or suf- 
 ferings of mine could answer the demands 
 of divine justice, or be effectual to my puri- 
 fication. A maintainer of this opinion, at 
 the same time affirms it is no arscument for 
 
jESUS CHRIST. 181 
 
 the presumption, impenitence, or lukewarm- 
 ness of man ; but an operative, and most ef- 
 ficacious principle of obedience, and a sa- 
 cred bond of gratitude upon his soul, to do 
 and suffer in his turn, according to the mea- 
 sure and capacity of a creature, and to press 
 to every height of virtue after the example 
 of so kind a conductor, in obedience to the 
 commands of so gracious a master, in con- 
 fidence of the assistance of so powerful a Sa- 
 viour, who died for him upon earth, inter- 
 cedes for and succours him irom heaven, and 
 hath taken hitn into himself by a mysterious 
 union, that he might accept him to the re- 
 ward of his own spotless holiness. 
 
 It has been the general opinion of Chris- 
 tians, in all times and places, that Christ suf- 
 fered instead of sinners, and that ^ve liave re- 
 mission of sins through faith in his blood- 
 shedding ; but the opinion of an imputed 
 righteousness is far horn being general ; 
 though a substitution is every whit as intelli- 
 gible, and perhaps as much wanted in one 
 case as the other ; and the same reasons that 
 hold for the rejeciing one, will equally hold 
 for the rejecting of both. 
 
 The righteousness of Christ is never im- 
 puted to any man who does noi desire and 
 endeavour to be so completely righxttous, as 
 not to stand in need of it. 
 
 Let him who rejects the righteousness of 
 Christ, consider well what ground he stands 
 upon, and what he has to trust to. 
 
 9. 
 
182 THOUGHTS ON RELIGION, &.€. 
 
 The righteousness of Christ imputed, and 
 applied by faith, becomes such a reality as is 
 not at all for an impenitent sinner's purpose. 
 If he knows what it is, and for what end it is 
 given, he does not desire it ; nor do I think 
 it possible for an impenitent person to believe 
 it, let him pretend what he will. Christ is 
 the glass in which we see God and ourselves ; 
 and if we attempt to see either ourselves or 
 him through any other medium, we shall fall 
 into infinite mistakes. 
 
 Christ stiil manifests his Messiahship by 
 his presence, and says to the desiring soul, 
 as he did to the woman of Samaria, '* I that 
 speak unto thee am he." 
 
 To comprehend the breadth and length, 
 and depth and heighth of the love cl Christ, 
 we must first take the dimensions of our 
 own sin. 
 
 I know so much of Christ as not to be a- 
 fraid to look m}^ sins in the face. 
 
 Christ was Christ to a believing Jew be- 
 fore his coming, as well as now to a Chris- 
 tian : nay, the faith of the Jew seems to have 
 been of a more excellent kind, as it had a 
 thicker veil to penetrate through. 
 
 Christ says, ** take up the cross ;" and 
 very evident it is, that some of his com- 
 mands, literally taken, have the cross in 
 them. Take this out, and then wherein 
 does he differ from other legislators ? Or, 
 what remains but a bare religion of nature ? 
 
JESUS CHRIST 183 
 
 which we may be sure will never bear too 
 hard upon flesh and blood. 
 
 All the power and love of God is in the 
 man Christ. 
 
 Christ is God stooping to the senses, and 
 speaking to the h<rart of man. 
 
 Christ brings down God to the capacity 
 of nian, and raises man to the nature of 
 God. 
 
 Christ stands between the wrath of God 
 and the sin of man, intercepting the one, and 
 purging the odier. 
 
 Nothing in nature is life, light, and truth 
 but Christ, and therefore nothing else can be 
 so to the soul. 
 
 Christ saw and felt every sin of mine dis- 
 tinctly, when he sweat great drops of blood 
 in the garden, and cried out upon the cross, 
 *'• My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken 
 me.'"' 
 
 God will come near to us to judgment, 
 and be a swift witness sgainst us, whenever 
 we dare present ourselves at his bar in our 
 own name, 
 
 Christ had most amazing love, and a pier- 
 cing sight of the danger and misery of man- 
 kind, when the pain of the cross could not 
 hinder him from saying, " Father forgive 
 them.'* A lively apprehension in us of 
 what he then saw and knew, sets us at work 
 in good earnest for ourselves and others. 
 
 I want the outward sun to ch<:rish my bo- 
 dy, and invigorate the animal life; much 
 
184 THOUGHTS ON RELIGION, kc. 
 
 more the warmth, light, and healing rays of 
 the sun of righteousness to comfort my soui. 
 
 When we had lost all by one father, God 
 gave us another to recover it to us with ad- 
 vantage 'y and our life is now safe in Christ's 
 keeping. 
 
 We come from God through the loins of 
 the first Adam, and return through the bow- 
 els of the second. 
 
 Christ can be nothing but himself in eve- 
 ry soul where he comes, loving his own life,, 
 doing his own works, rejecting all sin, and 
 seeking only to please God. 
 
 It must be so for Christ's sr^ke ; there 
 must be a sincere renunciation of all sin for 
 his love who died for me, and because I hope 
 to see his face in heaven to whom I have so 
 great obligations. 
 
 Christ's peace is his peace altogether, 
 dearly purchased by him, and given to sin- 
 ners standing in need of it. If it is to be of 
 my own procuring, and I can have none but 
 by entire freedom from sin, I am undone. 
 
 I owe Christ ten thousand thousand times 
 more than I can pay ; and all he requires of 
 me is to accept a discharge, and setde my 
 love upon him ; not as any part of payment, 
 but because he knows I cannot otherwise be 
 happy. 
 
 if ever we get to heaven, we shall know 
 that we do not sing praises to the Lamb for 
 nothing. 
 
 " Who has abolished death" and damna 
 
JESUS CHRIST. 185 
 
 Uon by Ills death and resurrection, and 
 " brought Jife and immortality to light in 
 the gospel ;" revealing, offering, and con^ ey- 
 ing it to all that believe and accept it as 
 God's gift, live for it, and rejoice in it, as 
 their portion and inheritance from the Lord. 
 
 Christ, by taking our sin upon himself, 
 took it clean away from us ; banished it out 
 of the creation, and eternally annihilated it 
 to every believer, vvho is as far from the 
 charge of it before God, as if there never had 
 been any such thing in the world ; and if he 
 did not do this for us, he did nothing ; if we 
 have one sin remaining that he did not expi- 
 ate, we are still under a sentence of death. 
 
 The two main pillars of Christ's religion 
 are the depth of sin, and the height of right- 
 eousness : and none but he could atone for 
 the one, and perform the other. 
 
 A thousand saints with all their fortitude, 
 patience and united efforts, could not bear 
 the burden of one sin. What then did 
 Christ endure when all the sins of the world 
 were laid upon him. 
 
 ** Herein is love," — superlative, incon- 
 ceivable, infinite ;— " that he sent his Son to 
 be the propitiation for our sins," — without 
 exception of any sins or sinners. Why do I 
 not steadily believe it ? Why do I harbour 
 
 a doubt of it ? Why do f ever forget it ? 
 
 Why am I not always rejoicing in the happy 
 assurance of it ? 
 
 Some look unto Christ with godly sorrow, 
 02 
 
186 THOUGHTS ON RELIGION, &C. 
 
 gratitude, love, and a purpose of obedience ; 
 some with horrid presumption, and the de- 
 ceitfulness of a desperately wicked heart, to 
 make him a cover for carnal indulgence ; the 
 generality with great coldness and indiffer- 
 ence. 
 
 Christ says to man, " live," not for any 
 good he sees in any man ; but when he is, 
 and because he is lying in his blood. He 
 can enlighten the dark heart ; he can purge 
 the defiled heart ; he can bend the stubborn 
 heart ; he can fix the inconstant heart ; he 
 can quicken the dead heart ; he can spirit- 
 ualize the earthly heart ; he can universalize, 
 the selfish heart ; he can comfort the sorrow- 
 ful heart, all cold and icy as it is, he can make 
 it a heart of pure love : he can be himself in 
 the heart. Blessed be his name. 
 
 O Jesus ! my Lord, and m}^ God 1 my Sav- 
 iour by thyself, from myself! how wonderful 
 art thou ! What should I do but fiDr Christ ? 
 Another question completes the character of 
 the Christian, What shall I do for Christ ? 
 
 God testifies to rae, to my soul, that 
 Christ has risen from the dead, and with 
 him, by an indisputable, abiding m.atter of 
 fact, viz. his sending the Holy Ghost into 
 my heart. 
 
 Christ in me will be the same God- devo- 
 ted, sin-hating, soul-loving, self-denying, 
 suffering, labouring Christ that he is in him- 
 self. 
 
 Nothing but the blood of Christ can wash 
 
FAITH. 187 
 
 out the foul stains of my life ; and that will 
 do it. As sure as sin is death, Christ is 
 life. 
 
 Without Christ we should never have 
 known what sin is ; without the knowledge 
 of sin we should never have known what 
 Christ is. O, iny soul, magnify the Lord. 
 and rejoice in God thy Saviour, 
 
 CHAP. VIL 
 FAITH, 
 
 FAITH does not consist in thinking that my 
 sins are comparatively litde, and therefore 
 may be forgiven ; but in knowing that they 
 are very great, and believing that, though 
 they are never so many and great, 
 past or present, Christ's blood is above them 
 all. 
 
 Nothing but Christ's blood, taking away, 
 and as it were annihilating sin, can quiet an 
 awakened conscience. Repentance implies 
 an abiding self-dislike and self- abhorrence, 
 and can neither destroy the existence, nor 
 extinguish the remembrance, nor heal the 
 smart of past sin ; the torment of it can ne* 
 
188 THOUGHTS ON RELIGION, Sec. 
 
 ver die but with a conviction that Christ 
 took it all upon himself. 
 
 My sins are many and great, and continu- 
 ally rising up against me ; but I must not, I 
 must not make God a liar, deny the Saviour, 
 and grieve the Spirit by refusing his comfort. 
 I may have more joy of Christ than 1 could 
 have had of innocence or any sanctity of my 
 own. O Adam, what hast thou done ! O, 
 Jesus, what hast thou not done. 
 
 The man who has no doubts and fears, has 
 no faith. 
 
 Perfect obedience being impossible, it is 
 necessary that all should have some reserve 
 at hand in the want of it ; something to sup- 
 port their hope, and give peace to their con- 
 sciences ; sincerity or Christ. But the for- 
 mer can no more be pleaded than perfect 
 obedience ; and if faith on Christ, suffering 
 in our stead what we should have suffered, 
 and doing for us what w^e cannot do, is not 
 our appointed relief, the case of mankind is 
 desperate. 
 
 If Christ will take my sins, I may well give 
 him every thing else. 
 
 " Fides Christum mihi donat, charitas ex 
 fide me proximo." Luther. That is. Faith 
 gives me Christ, and love from faith gives 
 me to my neighbour. 
 
 God grants me forgiveness, not because I 
 have so much repentance, or so much obe- 
 dience to bring him at the price of it, but of 
 his free goodness, because I want it, and 
 
lAITH. 189 
 
 must be undone without it ; and because he 
 knows, whether I do or not, that I have only 
 one thing to say to him, '' God be merciful 
 to me a sinner." 
 
 The scripture bids us do every thing, and 
 at the same time tell us that we can do no- 
 thing ; the conclusion is, that what is com- 
 manded must be done, and cannot be done 
 without help. 
 
 Christ crucified for our sins is the chief 
 thing in our religion we should know, and 
 almost the only thing which the generality of 
 the church of England do not know. 
 
 Christ came into the world to take away 
 my sin, by taking it upon himself ; and if I 
 go to him with it, my comfort is that it can- 
 not be too great for him. 
 
 The experience and possession of divine 
 pity is better than bodily ease, freedom from 
 trouble, or the greatest worldly prosperity. 
 
 What has not God given m.e, in giving me 
 a will to pray ! All the rest is his work ; and 
 I am as sure as his w^ord and promise can 
 make me, that not one prayer will be lost. 
 
 I shall obey when I have the will, and 
 none can set it free but God : it is the moun- 
 tain which faith has to remove. Thinking 
 we have most power where we have the 
 least, is the great error of the world, and has 
 been mine all my life. 
 
 What a mercy above all miracles, that I, 
 who am a sinner, a threescore years old re- 
 bel, and have done that every day of my life 
 
190 THOUGHTS ON RELIGION, 8?.C. 
 
 which lost Adam his Paradise, and brought 
 death into the world, should hiwe my iibode 
 on earth prolonged ; that if it be possible I 
 may not come short of my birth-right ; that 
 I may leave off sinning, and say beforc i die, 
 ** Lo, I come to do thy will !" 
 
 When I think what the devil can do iir 
 conjunction with my nature, what I have 
 b^en, iim, nd shall be, it is transporting ntws 
 to !)e told that there is such a thing as be- 
 lieving unto righteousness, and that balvatioii 
 is wholly in and by a substitute. This is a 
 h:ird point ; and yet if God is always the 
 sairse, there can be no other possible hope 
 for a creature always sinful. 
 
 I am as sure on the word and promise of 
 God, that my sins are done away in Christ, 
 as if an angel were to bring me a release in 
 writing, or I was ncnv in heaven out of all 
 danger. Shall I not be at God's bidding for 
 this, and put myself into his hands for the 
 further mercies of gratitude, love, obe- 
 dience, a willing heart, and heavenly affec- 
 tions ? 
 
 The angels do not work for life or rewa.rd, 
 because they are already possessed of it, pe- 
 netrated with a lively sei^se of God's love to 
 them in their happiness, and therefore all on 
 iire to do his will ; so should we, if we would 
 but enter more into the knowledge and pre- 
 t>ent possession of our happiness, by faith in 
 Christ. 
 
 From the depth of my sin, and most asto^ 
 
FAITH. 191 
 
 nishing evil, I raise some faint conceptions 
 of God's love in Christ. Well might he say, 
 •* My thoughts are not as your thoughts," 
 &c. Isa. Iv. 8. 
 
 Christ came to teach a pure morality, and 
 assert the necessity of a perfect Liw-' eeping, 
 but docs not expect to find it in us; he there- 
 fore vvrought it for us. 
 
 No sc<:urity till Christ puts his wedding'- 
 ring upon my heart. 
 
 Power to conform the understanding, will, 
 arid heart to scripture, is as much a gift 
 from heaven as scripture itself. 
 
 By poring continually upon my sins, and 
 setting th< m as it were in buttlf array against 
 the blood of Christ, 1 hold off my remedy, 
 make little account of the ..ord of God, and 
 must tkink myself if I never know peace. 
 
 In another man's case, I should certainly 
 think one drop of the blood of Christ suffi- 
 cient for ail his sins, though ever so many 
 and great. In my own I cannot think so for 
 my life with any degree of steadfastness. 
 
 What I speak, think, invent, write, as of 
 myself, pufis me up with conceit, and is a 
 sweet morsel for pride. Thinking it to be 
 from God would humble me, as every thing 
 does which we know to be purely a gift, let 
 it come from whom it will. 
 
 No music like Aaron's bells. Mercy and 
 propitiation, through our great High- Priest, 
 sound sweetly to the purged ear. 
 
 At home wath God ; satisfied and re- 
 
192 THOUGHTS ON RELIGION, kc. 
 
 joicing only in the sense of his favour, in my 
 heart's choice of him, in the privilege of pre- 
 senting myself before him in faith, and long- 
 ing for his promises. 
 
 The man who comes to Christ without 
 any desire or expectation of being created in 
 him unto good works, and having his nature 
 renewed in holiness, is a fool, or an infidel. 
 He neither knows nor believes one tittle of 
 the gospeL 
 
 We need not be afraid to look upon our 
 own deformity, great and ugly as it is. — 
 Christ died for the sins of the wdiole world ; 
 and therefore, if I had all the sins of the 
 whole world in my own person, I would not 
 doubt of i'orgiveness. 
 
 The remission of sins, apjirehended by 
 failh, in the dissolution or ending of Satan's 
 kingdom m us, and the beginning, founda- 
 tion, and principle of a new nature, stale, and 
 life in God through Christ. 
 
 I cannot give myself to Christ, he must 
 give himself to m.e. 
 
 God does not ofier me health, long life, 
 plenty of worldly accommodations, respect, 
 distinction, principalities, universal empire ; 
 but, O ! unutterable grace ! himself. The 
 gi'eatnessofthe thing, so infinitely transcend- 
 ing ail that we can deserve, hope ior, or con- 
 ceive, overwhelms the miderstanding, and is 
 apt to stifle our belief of it. 
 
 Let God work : my own efforts by being 
 
i'A-ITH 19 o 
 
 trusted in, having a tendency to exclude him 
 and hinder his progress. 
 
 The scripture speaks in vain, if God does 
 not speak it again into the heart. Knowing 
 is not willing, though it is generally mistaken 
 for it. 
 
 To have God hold the great burning glass 
 m his hand to bring all my sins to a point, 
 how dreadful ! and what a glory is then to 
 be seen in Christ ! 
 
 Jf I had not sinned as I have, I should 
 aever have prayed as I do. 
 
 My work is my pleasure, and joyous hap- 
 py state. ' find in it all I want ; and do not 
 stretch my dioughts beyond it for more sat- 
 ijbfliction from any thing else. 
 
 Make no more resolutions to do what you 
 never will ; but know your weakness ; trust 
 and pray. 
 
 Unbelief, or doubting of the power and 
 will of God to convert others, though ever so 
 illiterate or obstinate, self-righteous or wick- 
 ed, is the same want of faith as it would be 
 in my own case : the obstacles may, or may 
 not be greater, but nothing is too hard for 
 God. If we cannot help ourselves to the 
 graces we want, let us not pretend to it, nor 
 make vain efforts in our own strength, but 
 wait patiently upon God, and be as clay in 
 the hands of the potter. 
 
 Nothing greater can be said of faith, than 
 that it is the only thing which can bid defi- 
 ance to the accusations of conscience, 
 n 
 
194 THOUGHTS ON RELIGION, &C. 
 
 Faith supposes that there is sin in every 
 one to bt lorgiven, and that God is glorified 
 by the forgiveness of it. Deny either, and 
 you lose Christ. 
 
 Faith can do more than remove moun- 
 tains ; it can still a clamorous conscience ; 
 make a bad conscience good ; soften a hard 
 keart ; bend a stubborn will; and bring God 
 and man together. 
 
 If sin was ten thousand times worse than 
 it is, and I had ten thousand times more sin 
 than I have, I would look beyond them ail to 
 Christ. 
 
 The Christian is happy in Christ's for- 
 giveness, Christ's righteousness; and Christ's 
 beatitudes ; but chiefly so in the two first, 
 and only unhappy because he is imperfect ill 
 the last. 
 
 In Christ we are as innocent and clear of 
 all blame before God, as Adam was at hts 
 creation. This is the great mystery, great 
 truth, and great comfovt of the gospel ; and 
 if it is not true, all scripture is false, or com- 
 paratively little worth. 
 
 My sins and wants threw me upon Christ 
 when I knew much less of him, and of my 
 need of him, than I do now. 
 
 I believe for the remission of sins ; T be- 
 lieve for Christ's righteoubuess ; I believe 
 for pr wtr to love God and man ; I believe 
 for belief; and God knows I hud rather be 
 a believer than a king. 
 
 Christ must have died for me if there had 
 
X AIT II. li>5 
 
 not been anotlicr man in the world ; and I 
 believe as much that he died lor me as if 
 there never had been another. 
 
 Christ says, '' Wilt tliou be made whole?" 
 Giving me to understand that he must do it, 
 and therefore 1 will never attempt to make 
 mvstir whole. I would do something for 
 Christ, but I ean do nothing for myself, and 
 he knowing this, did ail for me. 
 
 I have been many years endeavouring to 
 coniie to peace by a conquest of sin, instead 
 of going first to Christ for the pardon of it. 
 
 Christ's peace is not freedom from sin, 
 but the forgiveness of it ; and it cannot con- 
 sist with the love of sin. 
 
 If one man had all the graces and good ac- 
 tions that ever were in the world to plead for 
 himself, they would not justify him to God ; 
 and if all the sins of all the world were ta 
 meet in the person of one man, the blood of 
 Christ would infinitely outweigh them. 
 
 If it was not for Christ, conscience would 
 tear me in pieces. Conscience is the most 
 positi\'e, teazing, tormenting thing in the 
 world ; and nothing can silence it but faith. 
 Conscience is the viper on Piiui's hand ; and 
 its nature is to sting, infiame, and kill. Why 
 then do i not svrell, or fall down dead ? 1 
 know. 
 
 I know my sins arc a vast heap, and more 
 in number than the hairs of my head, but I 
 will think no more of them (save to deny and 
 try myself) for the remainder of my life : I 
 
196 THOUGHTS OH KELICION, &C. 
 
 Will look only unto Jesus ; and if a better 
 obedience does not spring from this faith and 
 looking, I shall for ever despair of attaining 
 10 it. 2 Gor. iii. 18. 
 
 It is unbelief altogether, and absolute de- 
 nial of the work, satisfaction, and merits of 
 Christ, to think that J have one sin about mc 
 '^nforgiven, or belonging to me. 
 
 Thank God for Christ ; Christ for a cleaw 
 ijonscicncc ; r.nd the Spirit for giving mc^ti 
 aif^iiht of it as clean. 
 
 o 
 
 Believe Inat yoti are a sinner under con- 
 dcmnatioii, and that Christ released you frcm- 
 it by his death, and then deny him any thing 
 }f you can. 
 
 As bad as I am, I should be worse if it 
 was not for my belief of the cross. 
 
 It I had no! God in Christ to thiiik of ar.d 
 f^peak to. to make mc wiser and better, awd 
 happier than 1 ;im, and to go to when 1 die, I 
 should think nuself undone: 
 
 I fmd it difficult to believe that God can 
 forgive mc, because I cannot forgive m} self. 
 There is great comfort in Isa, Iv. 7, 8. '' Let 
 the wicked forsake his way, and the unright- 
 eous man his thoughts ; and let him return 
 unto the Lord, and he will have mercy upon 
 him, and to our God, for he will abundantly 
 pardon : for my thoughts are not your 
 thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, 
 saith the Lord." 
 
 God does not expect to be Io^'ed and 
 praised by us but for his benentSj as proofs 
 
FAITH. 197 
 
 and tokens cf the riches of his nature ; and 
 as weak, dependent creatures, we must look 
 lip to him for the communications of his 
 goodness, and think ourselvLS m-: re happy 
 in receiving from him what we want than if 
 we could give it to ourselves. 
 
 He who, with a consciousness and ac- 
 knowledgement of great imperfection, trusts 
 in the righteousness of Christ, is a better 
 Christian than a more perfect man who trusts 
 in his own. 
 
 He who does not rejoice in the Lord, and 
 feel God's peace as a cordial at his heart, is a 
 Christian of a low form, and hardly a believ- 
 er. Why are we so often lumpish, heavy, 
 and almost at our wit's end, but because we 
 look for comfort in ourselves more than in 
 Christ, and do not charge enough upon our 
 souls to rejoice purely, simply, and only in 
 him ? 
 
 When we have received nothing from 
 God, we think we have enough of our own, 
 and are sufliciently proud of it ; what we re- 
 ceive from him, in answer to prayer, under 
 a sense of our poverty, is all placed to the ac- 
 count of Grace, and humbles us in the dust. 
 
 October 4, 1771, 1 had a most lively sense 
 in a dream of a full dependence upon God 
 for help in time of distress, far beyond any 
 thing I ever conceived or can retain when I 
 am awake. 
 
 Look forward to increasing weakness : 
 decay of intellect, sense, and memory ; cer- 
 R 2 
 
198 THOUGHTS OxV RELIGION, &C. 
 
 tain pain, sickness and death ; without a 
 wish for past enjoyments, and with a hope 
 full of immortality. 
 
 The mercy of God is above all my sins 
 and all my fears ; and when I perceive it in 
 my ow^n mind and conscience to be so, see 
 ike necessity of mercy, and joyfully embrace 
 the offer of it, *' the Spirit iKareth witness 
 with my spirit;" and the witness is good 
 without and before works, and faith per- 
 ceives itself by its own light. O Father, 
 sweet is thy mercy ; O Jesu, sweet is thy 
 love ; sweet, O blessed Spirit, is thy testi- 
 mony to the soul. 
 
 I see nothing but sin in myself; in God 
 nothing but mercy. 
 
 God put the yoke of the lav/ upon the 
 necks of the Jews, the de\ il puts it on the 
 necks of Christians, 
 
 I would not be without direction, restraint, 
 and assistance from God if I might : de- 
 pendence on him is my security, happiness, 
 and great glory ; he can do all things well ;. 
 I am sure I cannot ; and how will my soul 
 exult in his goodness, glow with gratitude, 
 bless and adhere to him, when I know I am 
 not overlooked, and that he has heard and 
 helped me in the very thing I asked of him ; 
 I question wh^^ther any man ever truly loves 
 and prnises God till he has been so helped. 
 
 I will remember my sins, every one if pos- 
 sible, with all their yggravations, but while 
 
FAITH. 199^ 
 
 there is a Bible in the world they sliall not 
 terrify me. 
 
 Christ took up all my sins, and bare them 
 in his own body on the cross ; and God can- 
 not punish twice, nor demand a second sat- 
 isfaction to his justice. Take this comfort 
 from me, and }(ai may take the Bible. 
 
 If the blood of Christ, as applied for re- 
 mission, is my remedy in case of sin, first 
 and always, it is death to make use of any 
 other. 
 
 God never pardons one sin but he pardons 
 all ; and we dishonour him more by not 
 trusting in him for complete forgiveness, 
 than ever we did by sinning against him. 
 
 When sin, past and present, appears in its 
 true shape, with all its horrid malignity, and 
 desert of damnation, then is the time for a 
 full sight of Christ. And O ! how glorious- 
 ly does *' the sun of righteousness arise,'' 
 to the benighted, sin-burdened soul, *' with 
 healing in his wings !" How sweet is mercy ; 
 how precious the name Jesus, and how 
 dear his blood to the awakened, guilty con- 
 science ! Let it evtr be remembered how 
 great the obligation ! 
 
 With one eye upon Christ, I can look 
 my past sins in the face with the other, and 
 be upon my guard against all sin for the time 
 to come. Self, in its very be^t state, is no 
 ground of confidence towards God, nor of 
 despair m its w rst. 
 
 It is the will of God, and well-pleasing to 
 
200' THOUGHTS 0^7 R-^LICION, &.C. 
 
 God, that i should rejoice continually before 
 him in ihe- acceptance and possesbion of his 
 grace in Christ, as ma^e unto us wisdom, 
 righteousness, sanctification, and redemp- 
 tion. 
 
 *' Nothing can pacify an offcr.ded con- 
 scicnc e, but that which satisfied an offended 
 God." says Henry ; and well may that which 
 satisfied an offended God, pacify an offended 
 conscience. 
 
 I, N. N. take thee Jesus to be my wedded 
 "husband, to have and to hold, from this day 
 forward, for thy love, for thy crosses, for 
 thy work, for thy comforts ; to love, honour 
 and obey so long as k shall live, assuredly 
 b-lieving that death will not part us. Lord 
 Jesus say Amen. 
 
 What a fool am I, to be always laying the 
 weight of my salvation upon myself instead 
 of Christ. 
 
 * should be inexpressively miserable, if I 
 did not know that God forgives me more 
 easily than I can myself. 
 
 I may still look at the brazen serpent. I 
 may look at Christ. 
 
 Whit hope could I have, if God does not 
 forgive what I am, as. well as what I have 
 been ? 
 
 Whenever T feel corruption stirring, and 
 sincerely lament it, but have not stength 
 against it ; then is the time to fly to Christ, 
 and rejoice in him ; then may I have enough 
 
iAirii. 201 
 
 to bless God for, and may well bear with 
 myself. 
 
 Remembrance of sin, and sense of redeem- 
 ing mercy, will ^be die ground of praise and 
 thanksgiving to God and the Lamb for ever 
 in heaven. Why should it not be so now ? 
 Seeing I ha^•c as good warmntfrom the word 
 of God to believe that my sin is wholly taken 
 auay, as if I was actually in heavrn. 
 
 We are apt foolishly and impiously to 
 harden ourselves against the comfort of scrip- 
 ture, by poring contmually upon our sins. — 
 Why, man. it is as true that Christ dit d for 
 sin, as that the wag.- s of sin is death, -nid full 
 as dangerous to disbelieve one as the other. 
 
 Those who will not believe the remission 
 of sins on the warrant of scripture, till it is 
 inwardly spoken, or confirmed to them by a 
 personal grant, make no account of God^s 
 word, and declare plainly that they will not 
 trust him without his bond. 
 
 If I rightly understood, and truly valued 
 God's gift of Christ, I could not possibly be 
 displeased with him for any thing else. 
 
 It is drowning my belief, Wronging my 
 soul, and giving the lie to God, to thmk but 
 for a moment, that his mercy in Christ is not 
 above all my sins. 
 
 Somt sins I h:i\'e forgot ; many I remem- 
 ber, and these so litinous, that I cannot lor- 
 givc m}'self for tliem ; it is well for nie that 
 God, vv'Iio forgets none, forgives all. 
 
 It is the great miracle, peculiar glory, and 
 
202 THOUGHTS ON AELIGIO::, S;C. 
 
 most endearing blessed excellence of Chrisi'F 
 relif^'ion, that conscii nee, oF all things in the 
 world the most se\erc and inexorabfe, should 
 ever be pacified by it, and made good, as i: 
 were, in spite of itself. 
 
 Only God can bring light out of that 
 darkness which I myself am. I can no more 
 do it myself than I can Sciy as he did at th^j? 
 ereition, ** Let there be light," &c. 
 
 The belief of Christ's atonement and im- 
 puted righteousness, seems to be Goc^'s way 
 for our attaining any degree of righteousness 
 of our ow^n, or all the inherent and infused 
 righteousness we ever shall be capable of ; 
 and if this method is of God's appointing, it. 
 is dangerous trusting to any other. 
 
 The end of the commandment is charity, 
 out oi a pure heart, and that springing from 
 a good conscience ; that is, a conscience 
 purged from the sense of guilt by faith un- 
 feigned. Christ is in this w^av the wisdoin 
 of God, and the power of God, though it 
 seem ever so absurd to the reason of man. 
 
 'The gospel is a powerful engine for rais- 
 ing the fallen nature of man ; but then God 
 must have the working of it. 
 
 The remission of sins, apprehended and 
 applied by faith, obCiis a new kind of inter- 
 course between God and the soui ; the veil 
 is rent that barred its ertriince into the most 
 lioly place, and it now stands continually be- 
 fore God to receive advice, instruction, and 
 
FAITH. -^03 
 
 ail manner of gracious, sanctifying influen- 
 ces. 
 
 The particular doctrines of the gospel, 
 justification by taith, &c. must not only be 
 reve :itd to us, but in us ; and God, there- 
 fore, reveals them to us that we may go to 
 him to have them revealed in us. 
 
 When we are wearied and quite spent 
 witli working out a rightc' <usness ol our own^ 
 we cast ourselves with great advant ige upon 
 Christ for his ; and there is then little dan- 
 ger of our being hurt by his doctrme. The 
 sense of such a relic f in our time of need, 
 will be instead of a ihousai.d arguments to 
 make us press en to tht utmost perfection of 
 holiness we are capable of. 
 
 In the presence of temptation, and the stir- 
 rings of just and corruption, what should 
 hinder me from saj'ing, *' Christ died Ibr 
 the sins of the whole world ;" and therefore, 
 for mine, if they were ten thousand tim.es 
 more and greater than the y iire ; and even 
 for those very motions and workings of sin 
 which I feel this moment in myself. This 
 is not strengthening, or yielding to the temp- 
 tation, but a confession of «iy impotence, 
 and inviting the Holy Spirit to flow in fi[?(jn 
 me, and acquiescing in Christ's method lor 
 my deliverance ; and it is in this sense and 
 belief only that I desire to receiA e remission 
 of my sins, and an imputed righteousness 
 from his hands. 
 
 Lord, have mercy upon me, and help me : 
 
204f THOUCHTS ©N RELIGION, ScC. 
 
 I am surrounded with enemies, which I can- 
 not resist but in thy strength, and must fail a 
 prey to them without thy assistance. Suf- 
 fer not thy name to be dishonoured in the 
 destruction of thy poor creature, and the tri- 
 umph of the powers of darkness over ?hy 
 promise for my salvation. Let the confes- 
 sion of my weakness, and of my dependance 
 upon thee, prevail with thee in Christ to 
 stand up in my defence ; and do thou get 
 the victory, and be glorified in thyself, and 
 and in thy own goodness. Amen. 
 
 When faith in Christ, for the remission of 
 sins, and the imputation of his righteousness. 
 k God's work in the soul, it operates to ho- 
 liness, and renews his image in us ; when it 
 is man's, it is weak at the best, often delu- 
 sive, and fixes us in corruption. 
 
 That is the best kind of faith which is pro- 
 ductive of the greatest holiness. If man was 
 left to himself, he would be apt to choose 
 that which is productive of the least. 
 
 The doctrine of imputed righteousness is 
 founded upon the supposition of non-per- 
 fection. If we stay for peace of mind and a 
 quiet conscience, till w^e have earned it by 
 our works, we may stay till doomsda}'. 
 
 We may read, think, reason, be convin- 
 ced, and willing and glad to acquiesce ; but 
 after all, it is hard for any man to believe for 
 the remission of sins, in good earnest, till it 
 is given him of God. 
 
 Every thing in religion is God's gift. It 
 
is better on all accounts it should be so than 
 otherwise. 
 
 Our own attainments are poor at the best, 
 and can yield us but little comfort ; but the 
 soul, which closes heartily with God's ope- 
 rations, makes a swift progress under them^ 
 and rejoices over them exceedingly as evi- 
 dences of his favour. 
 
 The renovation of the heart by the Spirit, 
 the new man in Christ, charity, &c. is not 
 die ground, cause, or condition of our accep- 
 tance and reward. Itself is our reward at 
 least in part, and therefore cannot be the 
 cause of itself. Thus Abraham's having a 
 son was the consequence of his faith; an 
 additional superabundant grace, or favour of 
 God to him ; the thing indeed he wanted, but 
 surely not on the footing of merit, !fSto 
 Paul had said that all the services and shining 
 qualities of the highest angels v/ere of no 
 value, ind would profit them nothing with- 
 out charity ; would this imply that their ha- 
 ving it was their title to God's favour, and 
 to their high rank in the order of creation ? 
 It would be the orDament of their nature, 
 and a necessary qualification for their proper 
 happiness ; but still the gift of God, and no 
 more their merit than their being is. I be- 
 lieve we see at once the horrid presumption 
 of such a claim in them. And yet wretched 
 iTfian is not to be driven from the pica of his 
 own merit. Man will do something, if not 
 all, for himself ; he will earn his saivaiioHj 
 s 
 
206 THOUGHTS ON RELIGION, &C- 
 
 cither in \vhole or in part. It is the great 
 gospel- mystery to acquaint us that the at- 
 tempt is vain, and that il ever we are saved, 
 it must be by grace. 
 
 Those who deny salvation by faith alone, 
 do not pretend to say that it is by works a- 
 lone ; but partly by faith, and partly by- 
 works, and they will accept of Christ to 
 make good deficiencies. But they might 
 as well make sure work of it, ard take him 
 for all. For their very best works, it is to be 
 feared, will make but a sorry appearance ; 
 and, consequently, their awn persons, when 
 tried in the balance, be found miserably- 
 wanting. 
 
 There is no more absurdity in trusting 
 wholly to Christ, than rhtre is in trusting to 
 him only in part : to his atonement and 
 righteousness, than to his atonement only ; 
 or his atonement and righteousness in part. 
 Man wants him in all his offices and benefits, 
 divided he can be of no service to us, and he 
 will never be content to go halves with our 
 pride. 
 
 Faith is the means of attaining to the Spi^ 
 rit, and the Spirit is the spring of our pow- 
 er and possibility of working. Faith, in 
 this view, and embraced for this end, will 
 stand its ground against all opposition. 
 There can be no pretence for decrying it as 
 an enemy to good works. 
 
 The mystery of the gospel^ as distinguish- 
 ed from the law, consists in changing the or- 
 
TAITK. 207 
 
 der of two words ; one says " do and live ;" 
 the other sn s, 'Mive and do.'* 
 
 One would tiiink that a poor labourer, 
 sweating out hii term of threescore years 
 and ten, to half- starve a hungry family, 
 though as ignorant of spirituals, and as un- 
 concerned aboul them as a brute, was better 
 employed, and in a higher state of purgation, 
 than a monk at his offices. Nevertheless, 
 the scri])ture makes no allowances, when it 
 says, ** this is eternal life to know thee, the 
 only true God, and Jesus Christ whom thou 
 hast sent." And if reason was allowed to 
 bring in its exceptions, they would be end- 
 less. 
 
 It is impossible for a considerate person to 
 think himself safe upon the foundation of his 
 own works. The consequence is plain : 
 We have then nothing to trust to but an act 
 of grace from God, or something that is not 
 our own. And yet by a strange perverse- 
 ness, when the only proper relief is proposed 
 to us, we naturally reject it, either in whole 
 or in part. 
 
 The law, not performed, drives us to 
 Christ for remission ; and Christ received, 
 brings us back again to the law, with aU pos- 
 sible advantage for performance; for he came 
 not to destroy the law, but to fulfil it. 
 
 if we knew the gospel to be what it is, and 
 what the angels, who must know, said it was, 
 viz. *' glory to God in the highest; arid on 
 ear^l peace, goodwill towards men;" or, n 
 
208 THOUCHTSON SELIGION, &!£. 
 
 full discharge from all guilt and blame ; and 
 from the bond of the law, as a covenant, we 
 should be apt to say of it, "it is too good 
 news to be true." 
 
 The mercy of God, in the forgiveness of 
 our sins, can never be understood or believ- 
 ed, can be no motive of love, gratitude, and 
 obedience, till we know th« extent of our 
 demerits. But this can never be so long as 
 we pride ourselves on the rectitude of our 
 nature, and stand upon the false bottom of 
 a few moral performances. 
 
 We believe, in order to be holy, and 
 therefore need not to be holy, in order to 
 our believing. It is a denial of the gospel 
 to suppose that wc must be changed from 
 sin to holiness, before we may venture upon 
 Christ for salvation. Then faith is unnecessa- 
 ry, and no longer the foundation of holiness. 
 And if we can thus change ourselves, we 
 can do all without Christ and his Spirit.-— 
 
 Horace's " sunt verva et voces, &c." is 
 a vain boast ; Cicero's Offices and the di- 
 vine Plato can do me no good. Christ 
 *•* delivered for our offences, and raised a- 
 gain for our justification," is the religion I 
 want. 
 
 I cannot love my neighbour as myself, till 
 I love God with all my heart. I cannot love 
 God but from a sense of his love to me in 
 the forgiveness of my sins ; and I cannot re- 
 ceive forgiveness from him as a benefit till I 
 know my want of itx 
 
JAITH. 209 
 
 To say that we are justified by works, is 
 saying that we are justified by sin. Put the 
 good actions of the best men into one scale, 
 and their bad into another, ind see whether 
 the latter will not preponderate. And if so, 
 the result is sin'. 
 
 It is to be supposed that those who talk of 
 being justified by works, separate all imper- 
 fection, and alloy of evi! from their good 
 ones, and leave the bad quite out of the ac- 
 count. 
 
 I am convinced with the greatest fulness 
 of assurance, and by an inward feeling above 
 all demonstration, that nothing can help me 
 in my spiritual recovery but God. And my 
 recovery, in any toleralDle degree, will be as 
 full a proof to me of his help as the world is 
 of his being. This is the sensibility I wish 
 for ; and if I can acquiesce in any thing less, 
 all other marks will be fallacious. 
 
 Whenever I die, 1 die a sinner ; but by 
 the grace of God, penitent, and, I trust, ac- 
 cepted in the beloved. 
 
 I have some degree of power over my out- 
 ward man, but little over my inward. I can 
 make a shift to be just, do acts of kindness 
 and humility, and put on a show of courtesy 
 and civility ; but the bent of my heart is 
 still the same. I can no more love God 
 with all my heart, or come up to St. Paul's 
 description of charity, than I can reach hea- 
 ven with my hands. In this point of view, 
 what a seasonable aid is gospel power ; and 
 s 2 
 
210 THODGHTS ON RELIGION, &C. 
 
 how exactly is the religion of the Bible suited' 
 to the wants of mankind, in its offers of for- 
 giveness and renovation. 
 
 The same law, which we cannot bear as a 
 yoke upon our necks, we survey with plea- 
 sure, and take up willingly when it lies at 
 our feet. 
 
 The doctrine of justification by faith alone 
 could never stand its ground long at a time. 
 This is to me a proof of its truth and exceU 
 lent tendency. It is not all for the purpose 
 of a corrupt world ; and therefore it is na 
 wonder it should be rejected, as often as it 
 makes its appearance. 
 
 Sinful man, saved in Christ, always was, 
 and always will be a mystery. But where is 
 the mystery of our being saved by an inhe- 
 rent righteousness ? O ! why does sinful 
 man for ever dispute against his remedy, and 
 return to the beggarly elements of the world, 
 the flesh, and the powers of nature, when the 
 mercy of God is so plainly declared, and so 
 fully made over to him, as his only help and 
 comfort ? St. Paul told the Jews of his day, 
 that justification was by faith only, and not 
 by the works of the law. Suppose now they 
 had understood this assertion of the ceremo- 
 Bial law, as many have done since, might 
 they not very justly have said, ** neither do 
 we look to be justified, or accepted with God 
 for our observation of the ceremonial part of 
 the law, but for our obedience to the whole 
 taw, and especially the moral ?" It is plain 
 
FAITH. 211 
 
 therefore that St. Paul, in speaking of this 
 matter, always means the whole law, rotunde, 
 as Martin Luther says ; or else the dispute 
 between them would soon have been at an 
 end. He would only have affirmed what 
 they never denied. 
 
 Did Christ die for small matters ? for tri- 
 fling frailties ? F^w are willing to charge 
 themselves with m.ore. Or is St. Paul's re- 
 presentation of human nature true ? and if it 
 is, where are the believers ? and what a blot 
 does our pride make of the whole gospel ? 
 
 We must either think of God as a recon^ 
 ciled Father, or groundlessly presume upon 
 his mercy, or be under continual dread of 
 his justice. The first of these is the Chris- 
 tian state, the second is a state of dangerous 
 security, the last is a slavish state, full of 
 fears and terrors, and if we think of God at 
 ally will destroy the comfort of our lives. 
 
 Redemption by the blood of Christ (mark 
 it well, O my soul !) is the groundwork of 
 the majestic triumphant songs of praise in 
 heaven. Rev. v. 9. And a disposition to join 
 in it, our chief capacity for, and actual hap- 
 piness in time and eternity . 
 
 Dung and prune a bad tree to all eternity, 
 it can bring forth no other but fruit of its 
 own kind. Understanding this, is under- 
 standing the gospel. 
 
 We are justified all at once : without law, 
 and in spite of law ; and for no other reason 
 but because Christ cUed for us. W hen we 
 
212 THOUGHTS ON RELIGION, &C. 
 
 are settlfd in this belief, law and conscience 
 are upon good terms again. 
 
 Christ saves us from the sentence of con- 
 demnation we pronounce upon ourselves ; if 
 we leave it to him to pronounce, nothing 
 can save us. 
 
 If ever we come to Christ, it must be con- 
 scious of our own blindness, and with all our 
 distempers ibout us : he is not so absurd as 
 to bid us first heal ourselves, and then come 
 to him for a cure. Staying till we can bring 
 some kind of fitness or worthiness of our own 
 aUiiig with us, is gross misapprehension, if 
 not total unbelief, and hinders many from 
 ever coming to him at all. 
 
 If I was to live to the world's end, and do 
 all the good that man can do, I must still cry 
 *' mercy !" Why then should I be unwilling 
 or afraid to die this moment, wish a sense of 
 God's pardoning love, when I can have no 
 other claim to salvation, if 1 was to live for 
 ever ? 
 
 One would think it is but tolerable mod- 
 est to say that God knows the way to heaven 
 better than we do, and that it is lawful for 
 him to prescribe to us the terms of our ad- 
 mission into it ; and yet there is no propo- 
 sition more generally ridiculed. 
 The knowledge of my sin, and of God's love 
 in the forgiveness of it, is my preparation for 
 loving and obeying him ; why then should I 
 be afraid to take the measure of my sin. 
 
FA2TK. dl3 
 
 bince it is to be the measure of my love and 
 activity ? 
 
 When we come to understand the nature 
 and extent of Christian morals, we see at 
 once the necessity of remission and of divine 
 help : these are two material points of differ- 
 ence betwixt Christianity and all the sects of 
 paganism. The Stoics, wh© spoke excel- 
 lently of virtue, and were the. most incontro- 
 verted sect, were withal self-sufficient. 
 
 Conscious of my weakness, or rather 
 deadness, I offer myself to God to be his 
 workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto 
 good works : but finding that I can never 
 nave a righteousness of my own so complete 
 as to be worthy of his acceptance, I offer up 
 Jesus Christ daily and hourly upon the altar 
 of my heart, as the Lamb of God that taketh, 
 away the sin of the world ; beseeching God 
 that it may be the true fire of repentance 
 and faith kindled by the eternal Spirit. 
 
 What makes a happy life ? Knowing that 
 we can smile upon death. 
 
 Human perfection is reality of desire, and 
 sincerity of endeavour, and that in Christ is 
 accepted ; perfect righteousness was attained 
 only by Christ, and that is imputed : these 
 are two joyful truths of our religion ; and I 
 know of no other that can quiet the soul, or 
 carry it on with so swift a progress towards 
 real holiness. 
 
 The righteousness of God, Rom. x. 3, is 
 n» kind or degree of our own, however aQ- 
 
214 THOUGHTS ON RELIGION, ScC. 
 
 quired, either before or after faith and the 
 new birth ; but that which God bestows 
 in and with Christ. Tlie righteousness of 
 God, according to die terms, must be abso- 
 lutely and every way complete ; but who 
 can think this of his owr>, in the highest and 
 best state of it. 
 
 I am sure God will not put me itito a gieat 
 fire, if a little one will do. 
 
 It is the property of faith, first to empty 
 the soul, and then to fill it with comfort, and 
 strengthen it for duty ; at the same time 
 thai I see sin in the shape of a fury, I see it 
 nailed to the crossi 
 
 If God sees me in Christ, I cannot be in 
 full possession of the truth without seeing 
 myself there. 
 
 All my earthly 1 appiness, quietness, and 
 assurance, is from the knowledge and belief 
 of Jesus and hope of salvation ; but. ? have 
 not a thousandth part of the joy I should 
 have, if I delighied in him, and loved him 
 in some proportion to his excellence, bene- 
 fits, and love to me, and lived wholly for 
 him. 
 
 I am as flir off as ever by resolving and 
 attempting in my own strength to do what I 
 cannot. All depends upon prayer, patient 
 svaiting, and receiving. Fsal. cxxxi. 
 
 I go to Christ with faith for faith. 
 
 One touch of Christ makes him mine, 
 with all he has and is : in him I am well be- 
 loved, clear of all blame, and perfectly right- 
 
FAITH. 21^ 
 
 .*ous. All comes with this faith ; love, fidel- 
 ity, gratitude, pure obedience ; vviihout it, 
 nothing. 
 
 It is a most reviving, transporting thought, 
 that faith nidkes me as clean from all spot of 
 sin, as pure and perfecdy white as a Siiint in 
 heaven ; and if do not believe in Christ 
 chiefly lor this, what do 1 believe in him 
 for? 
 
 What have ^ to do on the peril of my soul 
 but t«) take God at his word ; to lay all my 
 sins down at the foot of the cross ; and then 
 prostrate myself thtre in humble adc^ration, 
 pure love, and the most sincere professions 
 of fidelity to m} crucified Saviour ? 
 
 He who has aheady done so much for 
 me, will leave nothing undone. 
 
 Cordial, perfect closing with the will of 
 God, from a root of faith, and a lively sense 
 oi Christ's peace, to do whatever he com- 
 mands, to avoid what he forbids, to suffer 
 what he ordains, will be a stt p unto heaven ; 
 and I shall then know upon what plan life 
 should have been conducted, and what hap- 
 piness I have lost. ^ 
 
 " The Lord hath piit away thy sin : thou 
 shalt not die ;" the Lord speaks this to me 
 as much as he did to David ; and though I 
 do not always apprehend it with the same 
 degree of clearness. Or height of assurance, 
 yet the scripture always suys it for me ; and 
 I ought never to disbelieve the word of 
 God so much as for a moment. 
 
216 THOUGHTS ON RELIGION, &.C. 
 
 The love of God in Christ, apprehended 
 by faith, will give me an understanding, a 
 heart, a tongue. Man's sin is God's glory- 
 in the forgiveness of it by Christ ; and God's 
 forgiveness is man's eternal shame, if he 
 continues to shi against it. 
 
 Forgiveness of sin b v the death of Christ 
 is a reason why we should never forgive our- 
 selves. 
 
 Every man is, what he once was, and al- 
 ways v/ill be, a condemned sinner, notwith- 
 standing any repentance or future obedience, 
 ^vvithout an interest in Christ. 
 
 It is the joy of my heart that I am freed 
 from guilt, and the desire of my heart to be 
 freed from sin. 
 
 I see plainly that such a one has better 
 qualities than I have. But if i am more a 
 believer, I have a much better righteousness 
 than any man can have in himself. 
 
 '' No man can say that Jesus is the Lord, 
 but by the Holy Ghost ;" I do say that Je- 
 sus is the Lord ; therefore I say it by the Ho. 
 ly Ghost. This reasoning would set a world 
 of souls at ease, who arc perplexed about the 
 reality of their faith. They cannot deny 
 the second member of the syllogism, but 
 will not be persuaded that they have a faith 
 of the Spirit's oper tion, because it has not 
 been given them in some sensible manner, 
 or because it is sometimes assaulted with 
 doubts, or because they cannot prove it by 
 a higher measure of holiness. Query, 
 
GOOD WOKKb. 217 
 
 What is that measure of holiness which must 
 prove our faith ? and whether any thing can 
 prove it but itself? 
 
 Either there is such a thing as predestina- 
 tion to life, accompanied with a perfect reno- 
 vation of heart, mind, and will, and then I 
 do not find that 1 am of the number of the 
 elect, as having no such experience ; or I 
 may hereaiter attain to the perfection of the 
 predestinated; or Christ apprehended by 
 faith is a safe ground of hope, with imper- 
 fection, a great remainder of sin, and low de- 
 grees of holiness in himself. In the last on- 
 ly I have comfort ; and a blessed hope it is, 
 if I do not make it a pretence for sloth, or 
 acquiesce in my present state. 
 ? Faith is trust in the promises of God for 
 eternity. 
 
 CHAP. VIII. 
 GOOD WORKS. 
 
 IT is the hardest thing in the world not to 
 think our good works better than they are, 
 and to make the very best keep their distance 
 in the office of justification. Though we 
 
 T 
 
218 THOUGHTS ON REilGION, 5iC. 
 
 must be judged by and according to our ac^ 
 tions, y^t we shall not be saved for them. 
 
 Doubtless God takes care to qualify his 
 faithful servants for the happiness he intends 
 for them ; which is, the enjoyment of him- 
 self. And there can be no other possible 
 qualification for this happiness, or capacity 
 ot receiving and enjoying it, but holiness ; 
 that is to say, a full bent of soul towards God, 
 and a hearty love and liking of all that he is, 
 does, wills, and ordains. But then we must 
 not pretend to bring this holiness to account 
 as the ground of our acceptance. A person 
 who is continually receiving favours from 
 another, may as well reckon the last to be the 
 procuring cause of the first, as we make our 
 holiness, whatever it is, to be in any sense the 
 cause or ground of our acceptance with God, 
 When we have done all we ever shall do, the 
 VI ry best state we ever shall arrn^e at, will 
 be so far from meriting a reward, that it will 
 need a pardon. 
 
 The doctrine of justification by faith alone 
 is cur fitness, advantage, and encourage- 
 ment for the practice of good works, and can 
 never be made a handle for sloth or licentious 
 ness, when it is preceded by repentaixe, as 
 if received in faith, it nt cessariiy must be. 
 Whoever entertains it as a pretence, or ex 
 cuse for not working, or doing his best, u 
 still impenitent and unbelieving, kt hin^ 
 think what he will. 
 
 God niakts himself a debtor to man, for 
 hk owtt goodness in man. 
 
GOOD WOKKS. 219 
 
 He that has once felt the peace of God, in 
 the remission of sins, will hardly stop short, 
 or make it a handle for sloth and licentious- 
 ness. This would be as if a man was tra- 
 velling to a certain country, and having by 
 some means or other got a taste of its excel- 
 lent A'uits, should make it a pretence forgo- 
 ing no farther, or turning back again. 
 
 It is well said, that though faith justifies 
 us, yet works must justify our faith. 
 
 Justification by sanctification is man's way 
 to heaven, and it is odds but he will make a 
 Mtde serve the turn. Sanctification by jus- 
 tification is God's, and he fills the soul w^ith 
 his own fulness. 
 
 The maintainors of imputed righteousness 
 must be content to undergo the mortifica- 
 tion of being thought opposcrs or discoura- 
 gers of good works : though thev constant- 
 ly plead for them, and for their own doctrine 
 as the best, if not the only sure way of attain- 
 ing to them ; do not come a whit behind 
 their adversaries in the performance of them, 
 and perform them more freely and sincerely, 
 and upon more generous principles of love, 
 gratitude, and obedience, than those who 
 venture all upon their own actions, and 
 make them the ground of their acceptance. 
 
 I trust to Christ for sanctification, and 
 not to sanctification for Christ. " Without 
 holiness, no man shall see the Lord." But 
 then holiness is not the foundation of our 
 reward. It is itself God's gift to us, in or- 
 der to qualify us for our proper happiness, 
 
220 THOUGHTS ON IIELIGIO}.^ &e. 
 
 and as the grand means of enjoying him, and 
 therefore cannot in any sense bt the procuring 
 meritorious cause of it. But neverihtiess it 
 is, by this kind of reasoning, every way as 
 necessary as if it was. 
 
 God parck'HS in order to cleanse. Who- 
 ever expects forgivemss without any 
 thought or desire cf !)eing clcarsed, cannot 
 receive it. It is impossible for God to for- 
 give an u!:repenting sinnc r ; and he does iiot 
 repent who does not purpose and wish lo be 
 changed. 
 
 I know and believe that all I am, have, or 
 €an be, without charity, is nothing: but I do 
 not believe in charity for my acceptance v^'ith 
 God. 
 
 Every other faitli but that which appre- 
 hends Christ as a purifier, as well as our 
 atonement and righteousness, is false and hy- 
 pocritiv'^al. He can only be recei^'ed into 
 the soul, when he is desired for his goodness; 
 and when he is there he will not sit down 
 idle. 
 
 We are accepted in Christ in the perform- 
 ance of good works, and not for them. 
 
 What motive to goodness is there in ail 
 nature, so forcible as the love of God in the 
 forgiveness of our sins? And what fitness can 
 any one possibly have in himself for works 
 or working, on whom it will not operate ? 
 
 It is next to impossible to do good actions, 
 merely because they are good, till we are in 
 possession of that principle so strenuously 
 
GOOD WORKS. 221 
 
 asserttd by Mr.rtiu Luther, viz. That our 
 saiv.itlcn is wholly of faith ; '-md that good 
 works are oi>ly a ground of comfort, as 
 proofs of our faiths but signify nothing to our 
 acceptance with God. And wl^at a glorious 
 recommendation of faith is this, that it is the 
 only thing that mnkes way for the truth of 
 obedience, from a put emotive of love*? Our 
 own interest in all the good we do, according 
 to this notion, being quite out of the ques- 
 tion. 
 
 It is impossible for a proud man to have 
 so much as one virtue ; he wants the very 
 essence of all virtue, disinterestedness, and a 
 pure love of rectitude. 
 
 A person who believes in the righteous- 
 ness of Christ, may truly say, " Lord, what 
 love have l unto the law !'* The law is ne- 
 cessary as a rule, and amiable as a free ser- 
 ^ice, and performable in the power of faith : 
 but, as exacting strict obedience under the 
 penalty of death, it is a heavy load upon the 
 conscience ; and, in that sense, abolished to 
 make way for a better dispensation. 
 
 A virtue wrought out of the stock of our 
 own ideas, in our own strength ; that is, 
 merely human or pagan, is without founda- 
 tion ; has no reality ; and can coniribute no- 
 thing to cur happiness. What, for instance, 
 is the greatest affability a»d condescension, 
 without a root of true humility ; lorUar- 
 ancc of the outward act, without inward pu- 
 rity ; patience without thankfubiess ; bene- 
 r ii 
 
22^ THOUGHTS ON RELIGION, &C. 
 
 licence without love ; and especially what is 
 zeal for religion, or exactness in a form, if it 
 does not spring from a heart devoted to God, 
 and relinquishing all for communion with 
 him ? But 1 am sensible, and know, with 
 the utmost certainty, that I can no more 
 give these qualities to myself, in their in- 
 ward deep ground, than I could make^a 
 world. 
 
 Christ's cross truly believed v.ill have 
 two seemingly different effects ; it will put 
 me upon being as good as ever 1 can, and 
 make me sensible that I am altogether vile. 
 
 There can be no true religion without love, 
 no love of man without love of God, nor 
 love of God without the knowledge and love 
 of Christ. 
 
 Ail virtue which does not spring from the 
 cross of Christ is de^fective in some respect 
 or other ; and most horribly in overrating it- 
 self 
 
 It is the duty of every Christian to aim at 
 perfection, and be going on to it ; but he is 
 a very ill-informed Christian, if not a down- 
 right unbeliever, who depends upon it for 
 salvation. 
 
 Faith goes before salvation, and works 
 follow it ; not to be made the ground of our 
 justification, but as the necessar\ concomi- 
 tants, and proper fruits of faith ; and when- 
 ever obedience puts itself in the place of 
 faith, St. Paul's words may fitly be applied 
 to it, " know that thou bearest not the root, 
 
GOOD WORKS, 223 
 
 but the root thee." Why then are works 
 to be the great subject ot uiquu; at the day 
 of judgment ? Because they uix .lie visibre 
 cfiects of faith, and only ,^uud as aspiring 
 from a root of faith, so th.it the vvr-nt of them 
 proves of course the want of faith. 
 
 The Hfe of faith can only e^pring from 
 faith, as trees and plants do from their proper 
 seeds. The generality know better what 
 their work is, than where to begin it. 
 
 If I have faith in Christ, I shall love him ; 
 ifl love him, I shall keep his command- 
 ments ; ifl do not keep his commandments, 
 I do not love him ; if I do not love him, I do 
 not believe in him. 
 
 A believer does not do good works to be 
 saved by them, but in love to others, from 
 a root of faith, and because he is saved. *' If 
 ye Ice me, keep liiy commandments." — 
 Love of Christ for what he is, as made known 
 unto us by what he has done and suffered 
 for us, is first ; and keeping the comniand- 
 ments is not for salvation, but because we 
 are saved by him. Whatever we do on 
 this ground is well pleasing to God, and will 
 have its reward ; but it is an abomination iu 
 his sight, if we would obtrude it upon him 
 as perfect in itself, and full satisfaction to the 
 demands of his law. 
 
 It would be a great abuse of the dt^ctrine 
 of salvation by faith, and a state of dangerous 
 security, to say, if it pleases God to advai^ce 
 me to a higher or the highest degree of holi- 
 
224 THOUGHTS ON RELIGION, 8^C. 
 
 ness, I should have great cause of thankful- 
 ness, and it would be the very joy of my 
 heart ; but nevertheless I can do without it,^ 
 as being safe in Christ ; whereas there is no 
 safety without an entire submission to the 
 will of God. 
 
 CFIAP. IX. 
 CHRISTIAN LIFE 
 
 THE great mistake of life, and the cause 
 of all the wickedness and misery in the world, 
 is looking for happiness here, and especially 
 in externals, where it never will be found. If 
 we were in a state of diligent preparation and 
 patient waiting for it in another life, we should 
 have nothing to scramble or quarrel for, nor 
 ever be disappointed ; we should be freed 
 at once from all vain anxiety ; bear crosses, 
 help one another in love, rejoice in hope, and 
 welcome death. 
 
 Tiie things which God hath prepared for 
 them that love him, are according to the re- 
 velation of his nature and will in Jesus Christ. 
 In this belief study to know him more and 
 
eHlUSTIAN LIFE. 225 
 
 more ; make liim your treasure and portion, 
 and long for the everlasting enjoyment of 
 him. 
 
 In heaven we shall have a perfect know- 
 ledge of sin, far beyond any thing we now 
 ©onceive of it, in conjunction with the great- 
 ness of our deliverance : and the gl'>ry of 
 redeeming mercy will be the eternal ground 
 of our love and admiration. On earth it is 
 the great exercise of faith, and one of the 
 hardest thiniA's in the world, to see sin and 
 Christ at the same time, or to be penetrated 
 with a li\'<. ly sense of our desert, and abso- 
 lute freedom from condemnation ; but the 
 more wc know of both, the nearer approach 
 we shall make to the state of heaven ; and 
 are our own greatest enemies, if, together 
 with the fullest comprehtnsion of sin, and 
 the deepest humiliation for it, we do not 
 look unto Jesus, and see it taken away by 
 the Lamb of God. 
 
 He is the greatest saint upon earth who 
 •feels his poverty most in the want cf perfect 
 holiness, and longs vi'ith the greatest earnest- 
 ness for thetime'whcn he shall be put in full 
 possession of it. 
 
 Before you do any thing pleasing to the 
 flesh, be sure that you have God's kavt ; and 
 whatever he commands, though ever so un- 
 pleasant to the flesh, be sure to do it. Make 
 a grievance of nothing but sin. 
 
 Christ will aec(pt nothing at my hands till 
 I give him my heart ; and when I do I shall 
 
226 THOUGHTS ON fiELIGION, &Cc 
 
 not give him mites, though one will be weli 
 taken. 
 
 Nothing can be happiness to ns but what 
 we think so ; and yet thinking any thing to 
 be happiness does not make it so. It is^ 
 therefore, of the utmost importance to us to 
 be well-informed in the matter. 
 
 Repent, and believe ; believe, and love ; 
 love, and obey ; obey in love ; and be as 
 happy as you can be in this world* 
 
 I'emptations are not sins, but means of 
 perfection, or causes of strengthening the 
 will, and thrown in our way that we may re- 
 sist them in the fear of God, conquer in his 
 help, and increase our reward. 
 
 If I prefer any thing in my heart to God 
 and his will, my whole state and being, every 
 thought, word, and work, is sinful. 
 
 God's coming and presence m the soul 
 is best understood by the power of it in the 
 change it works in us. 
 
 It is a day lost indeed, in which I lose 
 ground of heaven. When my will is united- 
 to God's, I shall always have what I want. — 
 What hinders me from being thus religious 
 and happy ? 
 
 I have had but little thought or purpose 
 of employing the talents which God has giv- 
 en me solely to his glory. Whenever I do 
 this with a single eye to please him, I need 
 not be concerned what they are, one or ten^ 
 and shall be indifferent about the esteem-, of 
 the world. 
 
CHRIS 1 IAN LIFii. -221 
 
 What has God for me to do to-day ? I am 
 not to hve to myself ; — so I should have 
 thought all my life, and every day of my life ; 
 doing my work faithfully, praising God for 
 appointing it, and desiring no other happi- 
 ness. 
 
 He who is Christ's free-man, is made 
 such by Christian faith and obedience ; he 
 is heaven- taught ; Spirit- led ; has a single 
 desire to know and please God better ; is 
 aiming at perfection, and grieving for nothing 
 so much as the want of it. 
 
 A Christian is strong in resolution, fervent 
 in his desire of holiness, and makes the most 
 viok nt efforts to attain it ; but at the same 
 time knows that it is absolutely out of his 
 own power ; and therefore depends upon 
 God for support, keeps close to him in pray- 
 er for constant supplies of light, grace, and 
 comfort. 
 
 Il God says thou shalt not, a child of God 
 says at once, I will not, in spite of strength, 
 oi inclination, or violence of temptation. 11 
 God says, thou shalt, he says, in spite of cus 
 toni, difficulty, or danger, I will. This is 
 freedom ; this is happiness ; this is life and 
 power from God ; of which w-e may be as 
 sure as that we did not make ourselves. 
 
 Enjoy the day in the day, without stretch- 
 ing your droughts to some future time, and 
 live to-day so as to enjoy ton orrow ; bu^ 
 do not deceive yourselves with hopes o 
 much enjoyment from any day. 
 
228 THOUGHTS ON RELIGION, kc, 
 
 God's design is to bring us happily to 
 hiniself in anodier world, and we wiii leave 
 no means unessayed for this purpose. If 
 we have the same end in view, and look up 
 to him, as carrying it on steadily for us, vve 
 may be happy both here and hereafter ; if 
 we have not, the consequence must necessa- 
 ri'V be despondency, vexation, and fretful- 
 ness at the ways of Providence. 
 
 Thr will of God is my pole-star, and, with 
 my eye constantly upon it, I shall be carried 
 safely through all storms and tempests. 
 
 I am not sure of the present hour : I am 
 sure I have nothing to do v/ith any thing 
 else. 
 
 Bearing with thyself in the want of spirit- 
 ual strength, or absence of spiritual comfort, 
 is neither more or less than bearing with 
 God, and the effect of no common grace. 
 
 Without the enjoyment of conscience I 
 can have no other. 
 
 The spirit in the children of God is like 
 an organ ; one man is one stop ; another, an - 
 othi r ; the sound is difterent, the instrument 
 the same, but music in all. 
 
 Whatever opposes God in my heart, or 
 keeps him out of it, must be abhorred and 
 cast out. The opposition is strong, and the 
 work diflicult, and we see, at once, that it 
 Ccin only be done with divine help. It is the 
 excellence of scripture to offer this help, and 
 call us to make use of it. 
 
 Head-knowledge is our own, and can po- 
 
CHIIISTIAN LIFE. 229 
 
 iish only the outside ; heart- knowledge is 
 the Spirit's work, and makes all glorious 
 within. Nothing is well done in our spirit- 
 ual building but what is done with prayer 
 and God's help. Fight and pray. Fly and 
 pray. 
 
 Thank God for laying his comm^.nd on 
 my heart, and for disposing my heart to de- 
 light in it. 
 
 When we feel no burden, and complain 
 of no want but that of entire satisfaction, life 
 will be a contiual dying, and death welcome. 
 
 When we obey the will ot God from the 
 iieart, we stand before him, as the angels do, 
 in the original glory and full blessing of our 
 natures ; and so far as we come short of 
 this, we come short of happiness 
 
 Is this a dying thought ? — All think they 
 mean well ; and by an egregious piece of 
 self-flattery, they take it for granted that our 
 defect of good lies not in the will but the 
 ability. Just the reverse. If the will is 
 good, we are good. 
 
 Purity of heart, mind, and conscience, 
 does not consist in freedom from temptation 
 or total insensibility, but in abstinence from 
 the outward act of sin, and su]:)pression of all 
 inward motions and tendencies to it, in the 
 fear of God, and with a steady choice of his 
 will. I shall be a happy man, and possess 
 consciousness of help I'rom above in answer 
 to prayer, when I am determined at all c vents 
 for the will of God. Show me where the 
 u 
 
230 THOUGHTS ON RKLIGION, &C. 
 
 will of God is, I know where pleasure is.— 
 Sensualiiy will not do, gross or refined. No- 
 thing can support my spirits, or enable me 
 to pass through the world with any degree 
 of constant satisiaction, but walk irig with 
 God, in the faith of Christ, as a reconciled 
 Father, doing his will, under his eye, with 
 his help ; acquiescing in this state of mind; 
 looking no farther ; desiring no other rich.- 
 es ; living for no other end. 
 
 If we long truly for God, he has given us 
 a great deal in that longing ; and it he makes 
 us wait now, he will make us full amends 
 htreafter. O Jesus, call me to God by thy 
 cross, thy love, thy Spirit, and then call me 
 home. 
 
 Oh ! for a steady will to think and do all 
 with a sole regard to the eye of God, and 
 with great indifference for the esteem or cen- 
 sure of any man living. 
 
 ^R case of sin allowed, or weakly resisted, 
 the conscience will not be quieted with hopes 
 and promises ; no, nor with the blood of 
 Christ. 
 
 The more faith, the less conscience of sin, 
 and less servile fear ; the less conscierce of 
 sin, the more consciousness and lively sensi- 
 bility of its odious, cursed nature. 
 
 Time flies iast, but conscience should keep 
 pace with it. 
 
 December 28, 1763. Press on in the 
 n^ me and strength of God tp an assured vic- 
 tory. 
 
GilRIoTlAN LIFE. 231 
 
 'i lie heart is due to God. O, what jov, 
 ease, and freedom when I can say it is 
 God's ; for his love, for Christ's sake, by 
 the Spirit's power ; no enjoyment but in 
 God or God's work. O, for the pure heart 
 and the single eye ! 
 
 It is a hard thing for a real Christian fear- 
 ing and striving against all sin, to be patient 
 with it, in submission to the Divine vVill ; 
 but what can we do if God is pleased to suf- 
 fer it in us, as he does for ^vise purposes ; to 
 Irarnble us, to convince us of our depend- 
 ence ; to keep us close to Christ ; so St. 
 Paul exulted in the grace of God, and could 
 defy remaining corruption to condemn him, 
 Rom. vii. The moment we think that we 
 have no sin, v/e shall desert Christ. 
 
 We may know by our affection to the 
 Sabbath, whether eternity vail be forced up. 
 on us. 
 
 if it pleases God to endue me v/ith spirit* 
 ual wisdom, I shall from henceforth pay a 
 greater regard to the teaching of my Lord, 
 and have no treasure but in heaven, no heart 
 but for heaven. 
 
 The great mistalie of life is self pleasing, 
 or looking for a state of rest and satisfaction 
 here, not'^onlv in sensual gratification, but 
 even in the way of religion, instead of taking 
 up the cross, labour in duty, and submission 
 to the will of heaven, with a renunciation of 
 all w^orldiy schemes of h:>ppiness, and patient 
 waitins: for death to put us in possession of 
 
232 THOUGHTS ON RELIGIC>N, &C. 
 
 it. The only happiness of this world is pre - 
 paring for it in another, and being content 
 without it till death. 
 
 To think and aet, to be as mnch disenga- 
 ged in respect of N. N. and as necessarily 
 drawn to seek happiness elsewhere, as if 
 there was no such person in the world ; the 
 work is great, and the time is short ; but 
 what cannot God do ? 
 
 I never vzas happy till I knew that I could 
 not be happy in this world, and consented to 
 wait for it till God's time and place. This 
 thought will keep me from all self pleasing 
 in forbidden ways ; reconcile me to sufFer- 
 mgs, crosses, injuries, monilications^ and 
 put a smile on the face of death. 
 
 Religion does not consist in a point.. The 
 soul that has entered into the true spirit of 
 it, is never satisfied with its attainments, but 
 continually presses on to greater heights> ; 
 and, notwithstanding the greatest abundance 
 of graces received, is still craving, thinks it- 
 self poor, and utterly unworthy of any reward. 
 This is humility and poverty of spirit.— 
 Pride will carry a man to heaven's gate, but 
 nothing but humility will find admission. 
 
 ** He that is not with me," saith our Sav- 
 iour, " is against me." Mere indifference to 
 good, is evil. 
 
 The truest mortifications, and the surest 
 test of a real disposition to be mortified, are 
 those which we receive from others and from 
 God. Self-mortification^ or crosses of oux 
 
CHRISTIAN LIFE. 23S 
 
 own choosing, are often only a more reiined 
 species of pride and self-will. 
 
 The world slides into our hearts by the 
 avenues of sense, in cases we litde think of. 
 There may be danger in giving ourselves up 
 fully to a warm sunshine, or the pleasures of 
 a beaudful landscape. This may be ihoiight 
 morose indeed ! but let the militant soul be 
 upon its guard. 
 
 I may cheat myself and others with a 
 counterfeit appearance of virtue ; or rather 
 keep under the contrary appearance by con- 
 ?inua] acts of violence : but the reality of it, 
 and of all our graces, can only spring from 
 a nature. Consciousness of our w\ant of this 
 nature, and sensible concern for it, is the be- 
 ginning of religion, or repentance ; patient 
 waiting upon God for it according to Christ, 
 is the progress of religion, or faith and hope ;^ 
 and the actual receiving of it, is the end of 
 religion or charity. The m_an w4-io has the 
 spirit of God, and of Christ, is spiritual, re- 
 deemed, a Christian, the child of God, and 
 has in him the nature and life of heaven and 
 eternity. The man who has no other spirit 
 ihan his o.vn, though ever so learned, ration- 
 al, and regular in his behiviour, is carnal, 
 sensual, earthly, the child of death, and 
 stands in the kingdom of darkness ; the tree 
 is corrupt and the fruit corrupt, though they 
 appear ever so beautiful. This doctrine is 
 ot' the very, essence and life-blood of Chris- 
 tianity,, and nothing can be plainer or more 
 u 2 
 
234 tnovcHTs on religion, Scc» 
 
 full to the purpose than St. Paul's assertior, 
 Kom. viii. 9. But it is a terrible mystery to 
 fleshly wisdom, and will for ever be the bub- 
 ject of debate and contradiction, 
 
 Sanctiiication is a gift ; and the business 
 of man is to desire, receive, and use it. Bui 
 he can by no act or effort of his own produce 
 it in himself. Grace can do every thing ; 
 nature nothing. 
 
 When my appetite is weak, squeamish, 
 or vitiated, I know it is a symptom of decay 
 and bodily disorder ; and is the '^vant or de- 
 pravation of spiritual appetite the same indi- 
 cation of debility and great disorder ui the 
 
 30Ul? 
 
 In temporals, riches is power; in spirituals^ 
 poverty. 
 
 It is a terrible monificatioa to a- serious 
 man to find the evil spirit still in possession, 
 after he hud thought it entirely gone : but 
 withal it affords a happy conviction of ou? 
 impotence as well as inbred corruption ; and 
 will lead in time, with hearty repentance and 
 true faith, to that friendly power, from 
 whence cometh our help. 
 
 It is with the soul as with the stomach ; 
 there must be a healthy constitution oi buth^ 
 to digest and assimilate their respective Ibod. 
 
 Meekness of wisdom compels where rea<. 
 son cannot persuade. 
 
 When we quit our hold of the creature, 
 and of earthly enjoyments, what is there left 
 for us to stay upon ? What can make irs 
 
CHRISTIAN Lll't. 2'Z5' 
 
 amends for tlie want of them ? Is there any 
 thnig elbc beside, that we can fee.l, rehsh, and 
 feed upon with delight '? Yes ; faith, hope, 
 and charity. These are a blessed resource 
 to the soul ; and<it is the choice and posses- 
 sion of thtse that constitutes a Christian and 
 the Christian happiness. 
 
 When we once come to know and believe 
 in ^ood earnest, that there is a peace \vith 
 God to be had, and that it is the very thing 
 we want, it v/ill make us cool in all bther 
 pursuits. 
 
 There is gi*eat" folly andpresirmption in 
 comparing ourselves with others, or despis- 
 ing any man. We may be worse than oth- 
 ers, when we think ourselves better : possi- 
 bly we neither know them nor ourselves. If 
 we are really better, the difference is not from 
 ourselves ; and, Whatever they may be,, our 
 ©wn want of humility is certainly a most ter- 
 rible defect. 
 
 I desire the Spirit of God above and be- 
 yond all other possessions, interests, satis- 
 factions, or enjoyments ; both as a controul- 
 ing principle, discernable in its effects, and 
 enabling^ me to command myself and all my 
 powers for God; and as^ a distinct inward 
 feeling or conscioubness and foretaste of the 
 heavenly happiness. I think both are held 
 forth in scripture, and the one can hardly be 
 without the other in my heart. 
 
 There is no possibility of happiness bat 
 in the possession of our own choice, will. 
 
236 THOUGHTS ON RELIGIOI^, &€, 
 
 and desire ; and the will of man, in his pre- 
 sent condit]oi>, stands bent against the order 
 and will of God. What is to' he done ? And 
 whuse will must be changed ? The concur- 
 rence of our wills, with the will of God, is 
 our rectitude and happiness : their opposi- 
 tion, our corruption and tDisery. 
 
 The first man i'ell by withdrawing his will 
 from the will of God. By nature we stand 
 in the same state of separation, and are 
 perpetually acting his revolt over again, and 
 can only be restored by the reduction of our 
 wills to the order of God's.. 
 
 Peace with God, and peace with all the 
 world, and with all nature. See Hos. ii. 18. 
 and the parallel places. 
 
 How happy is thQ soul that has got above 
 the prevalence of earthly hopes and fears, de- 
 sires, and relishes, and can, upon good 
 grounds, consider itself as a child of God's 
 family and kingdom ; promoting interests ; 
 partaking of its blessings ; only infiuenced 
 by its expectations ; and waiting for death as 
 the door for admission to all its enjoyments. 
 
 If I give myself to the creature in any 
 such way as [ know to be forbidden, I must 
 not think that I can approach God, or that 
 he will meet me in prayer, &c. Every at- 
 tempt of that kind is an act of self-deceit and 
 hypocrisy. 
 
 " Abstaining from evil is nothing, without 
 anactudl turning to God in Christ, and tend- 
 ing to him with the bent of my will and de- 
 
04iRISTfAN LIFE. 237 
 
 :>ire, as the rest, centre, and life of my spirit. 
 This change constitutes the idea of religion ^ 
 is the great work we have to transact with 
 God, and should be the basis of all our pray- 
 ers. 
 
 When once I am in Christ, as a living 
 member of his body, and so joined to him 
 as to be one spirit, I am (in a qualified sense) 
 what he was ; have the benefit of what he 
 did ; and shall be what he is. 
 
 Nothing but a persuasion of our title to 
 God's favour, and consequently to a happy 
 eternity, can make us desire and seek after it 
 in good earnest, and order all our affairs wdth 
 a vitw to it. It is the great design of the 
 Christian religion, and the peculiar tendency 
 of its distinguishing doctrines, to possess and 
 fill our minds with dii§ persuasion. 
 
 Religion is seeking after the gracious pre- 
 sence of God in the soul ; and finding him 
 there is salvation or heaven begun. Those 
 who have experienced the two states of na- 
 ture and grace, know the difference to be as 
 great as between heaven and earth. 
 
 With regard to what I read or think, the 
 question should be, is it really interesting ?. 
 Will such a speculation improve me in reli- 
 gious knowledge, or bring me nearer to 
 God ? If it will not, discard it at once. 
 
 Holiness is happiness. They are to each 
 other as caus-^ and eflect, and one necessarily 
 produces the other ; at least more than any 
 thing else can do. But what passes in the 
 
238 THOUGHTS ON RELICIOK, &CC. 
 
 tvorld for virtue, is an errant counterfeit.— 
 And \ believe very few of those who pretend 
 to it, either expect or desire to be imy better 
 for it inward!}'. 
 
 Christ v/ould be loved for ill he did, r.nd 
 for all he is ; an\l we cannot love him for 
 one, without loving him for the other. The 
 sense of his benelits will be in proportion to 
 the sense we have of our own sinfulness ; 
 which cannot be without an importunate de- 
 sire to be delivered fi'om it. 
 
 Seeking after God for himself, is the rc- 
 new^ed mind, the single eye, the pure heart, 
 the birth of the Spirit : seeking after him for 
 any thing but himself, is not seeking him 
 sincerely. 
 
 True goodness is universal and uniform, 
 when ir is God's Hie ^nd nature in us ; like 
 God, without partiality or respect of persons. 
 No virtue, merely human, can stand this 
 test. 
 
 He who can say, *' I am so weary of sin, 
 as to be weary of life, and even long to put 
 off that flesh which is the seat of it," says a 
 great deal, though he may still labour under 
 many imperiections. 
 
 Never turn asid' from any command for 
 the cross that is in it, for that is the ^■erv 
 thing th.it makes it a blessing, and the means 
 of spiritual improvement. The Holy Ghost 
 is m.ost, if not only, a comforter, in the ab- 
 sence or contempt of v/oridly comforts. It 
 seems better to take the measure of our state 
 
 ! 
 
CHRISTIAN LIFE. 23S 
 
 Irom a real change of desires, and continual 
 progress towards perfection, than any stnsi- 
 bie comnmnicaiions, joyous feelings,or high 
 raptures. When men are taught to exi-txt 
 these,^ as the great marks and seals of (il^ir 
 adoption, the pride of some will soon help 
 th( m to a competent share of them ; whilst 
 others, less bold, and not willing to outrun 
 their own experience, will be thrown into 
 grievous perplexities. 
 
 The new birth is our being rect ived by 
 the will of God into a new state of being ; to 
 the remission of sins by faith ; to a partici- 
 pation of Christ's perfect righteousness; to 
 a renovation of will by the Holy Ghost. And 
 this life proves itself, as every other kind of 
 life does, by its natural and proper acts ; by 
 contrition ; by prayer ; by love : and by a 
 continual progress in holiness. Spiritual 
 comlorts, if eagerly desired, and rested in. 
 may keep us from God as well as earthly 
 ones. 
 
 We greatly deceive ourselves by thinking 
 we are, and have what we know, or that we 
 can be made wise and holy by other men's 
 words and notions. Whereas all divine wis- 
 dom and real sanctity arises from within ; 
 from the spirit of God working at the root • 
 and is, by evolution, as a plant from its setd. 
 Every step we take higher in the kingdr-m 
 of grace, we necessarily sink so much lower 
 in our own esteem. 
 
 When I can bear opposition, calumny, 
 
240 THOUGHTS ON RELIGICX, &C. 
 
 contempt, hatred, and all manner of ill usage, 
 as infinitely less than my deserts, may pos- 
 sibly be meek ; but not before. The reli- 
 gion of the gospel is conversion by the 
 power of God ; therefore, whatever is mere 
 nature, or the effect of natural power, neces- 
 sarily comes short of it. 
 
 If we took but the same care of our inward, 
 dispositions, from a sense of God's presence, 
 as we do of our outwai'd deportment before 
 an earthly superior, we should soon be pre- 
 pared for his most searching operations. 
 
 if i resign myself to the Spirit, it must be 
 v/ith a full resolution to do and suffer a great 
 deal. He will not take me in hand upon any 
 other terms. 
 
 Nothing can make life pleasant, but some 
 kind of acquiescence in the present hour ; 
 from a consciousness that we are in it ac- 
 cording to the order of God, either doing or 
 suffering his will, or at least not acting con- 
 ti-ary ^o it. 
 
 It seems to be the gi'eat controversy 
 among the better sort of people at all times, 
 whether a decent moral life, together with a 
 profession of faith in Christ, and regularity 
 of outward worship, is the religion of the 
 gospel ; or, a heart devoted to God, sensible 
 of his communications, and inwardly chang- 
 ed in the bent of its desires and afft ctic^ns ; 
 or, in other words, whether true religion is 
 not altogether a work of God upon the soul, 
 distinctly known and felt in its several sta- 
 
CHRISTIAN Lli'lLo 24i 
 
 ges of repentance, faith, and charity. The 
 latter opinion is commonly called enthusi- 
 asm; but the former certainly is so, as being 
 a false ground of trust in God ; but no man 
 ever was deceived in the main by the other. 
 He is, and has, all that religion requires of 
 him, even though he should be mistaken in 
 ascribing too much to inward sensations and 
 divine experiences. 
 
 One credible person steadily bearing testi- 
 mony to the power of divine grace, in his 
 own conversion, will have a greater effect in 
 converting others, than the most learned and 
 eloquent declaration of the same truth from 
 a thousand unconverted preachers^ 1 John, 
 i. 1. 
 
 It is the worst kind, and highest form of 
 pride, to think of being a Christian, or s-pi- 
 ritual in any other way, or by any other 
 means, than thcspoorest and most illiterate 
 man upon earth is made such, viz, by the 
 solepowerof the Holy Ghost. 
 
 It will be a blessed time when I can go in- 
 to all companies with the simplicity of a man 
 in Christ ; speaking the truth in love, un- 
 daunttdly, and yet fearful of offending. 
 
 Christian morals, or rather renovation, is 
 a glorious idea, and it fills one with rapture 
 to think it is promised, and attainable, though 
 not fully in this life. 
 
 What is misfortune ? Whatever separates 
 us irom God. What a blessing ? Every 
 means of approximation to him. No righ^ 
 
 X 
 
242 THOUGHTS ON RELtGIOX, kc. 
 
 opinions, clearness of c era prehension, or ful- 
 ness of belief in religious matters, signify any 
 thing to our conversion and estabhshment, 
 unless they are from God, 
 
 The Grosses and mortifications we meet 
 with from others are a precious means of 
 humbling, instructing, and improving us ; 
 we should be undone without them. Ma- 
 dam Guy on carries this so far as to say, that 
 if we had nobody about us to plague and 
 vex us, God would send an angel from hea- 
 ven to do it. 
 
 With the help of God, I will neither suf- 
 fer the devil to lurk behind the cross, nor 
 hide it from me. 
 
 What will it profit me to be always think- 
 ing ol Christ, and forming acts of resigna- 
 tion to him, but never doing any thing for 
 him? 
 
 The Spirit does not only confer and in- 
 crease ability, and so leave us to ourscKes 
 in the use of it ; but every single act of spi- 
 ritual life is the Spirit's own act in us. 
 
 I ani n solved, with the gract of C/od, to 
 forgive evtrry body every thing, and myself 
 noihing. 
 
 Is what I know and feel rf spiritual things 
 the rt suit of i- new Ucturje, or ot the old only, 
 urc>r a different fcim, and feeding upon dif- 
 ftitrt com tort r ? 
 
 O ! vJi'/i shifts, what multiplirity of mise- 
 ry} v invtnriont. t^' av'itx tht poor >jouI, did 
 cicate to ourstives iht paradise we have lost, 
 
CHRISTIAN LIPE. 243 
 
 ill some kind or other of a worldly life ! — 
 When it can only be regained in God, and 
 in the iuii restoration of the heart to him in 
 love and obedience through Christ, 
 
 We can never arrive at any true settle- 
 ment, by propping ourselves up with the 
 opinions or experience of others. Rest must 
 be the result of our own fellowship with God. 
 Our religion, for the most part is nothing but 
 the prophet Jeremiah's stolen words. Jer. 
 xxiii. 30. 
 
 " Thou art my portion, O Lord !" Be- 
 l^old. here the test of rectitude, of happiness, 
 of a Christian. Speak this truly, O my 
 heart, and all that is in me, or I am undone 
 for ever. 
 
 Whenever I. learn of Christ to be meek 
 and lowly in heart, surely I shall say, 
 *' whence is this to me, that my Lord should 
 come to me !" 
 
 Passion costs me too much to bestow it 
 upon every trifle. 
 
 Be it ever remembered as the ground of 
 all true conversion, a truth of the utmost im- 
 portance in religion, necessary to cause us 
 to aim our endeavous aright, and fix us in 
 fluth, humility, and dependence on God, that 
 the essence of happiness is not actions but 
 affections. Actions will follow affections, 
 but without them are wholly insignificant to 
 our cure. Consider well, Matt. v. 3 — 10. 
 Rom. ii. 28, 29. 1 Cor. xiii. 1, 3. I have a 
 very distinct feeling and apprehension ho\r 
 
244 THOUCHTS 0'2i RF.LltlOIs;, &c. 
 
 the mental vices of pride, envy, and wratii. 
 war against the soul ; and that so long as 
 they arc predominant, it must necessarily be 
 in a sicklv, seli-tcrmcnttd s.ate ; but then I 
 have not the same consciousness with rc.uard 
 to some kinds ol' sensual iixlulgence. God 
 knows how they w^ould hurt me, though l 
 may not. Here reat^on is at a stand, i.nd 
 iaith must do its office. Perhaps 1 Cor. vi. 
 13 — 20. would help me to a right under- 
 St ndmg of this matter, if I could come at 
 tht meaning of it. 
 
 Every man should be a sun in his little 
 sphere ; merely a creature of divine good- 
 ncs.s, nianifesting God's glory, and shining 
 widK.ut merit. 
 
 Chri^iian holiness, that \\hich God re- 
 quires ol us, and offers to us, is health to the 
 soul, apd wou:d do us good ; the virtue we 
 general'} ^icquitsce in, and pre-fc r to it, is a 
 poor thing, and leaves us just where it finds 
 us, in point oi happiness. 
 
 I can never be in union with God, till I 
 stand before him without guile, according to 
 the truth of my state : if it is bad, in con- 
 fession and humirKition ; if good, in thank- 
 fulness, desire of improvement, and humilia- 
 tion still for tht- imperfection of it. 
 
 God deliver me from sin, and give me 
 the desire of perfect purity, and let happi- 
 ness come when it may ! Peace outstrip])ing 
 real attainment,, is dangerous presum])iion. 
 The truly humble man is humble in secret ; 
 
CHRISTIAN Llf£* B4S 
 
 it is a pain to him to have liis humility seen 
 and nbhtrvcd ; and whenever he has occa- 
 sion to confess his delects it is for no other 
 end but to take shame to himself. 
 
 Let us put ourselves fully into the hands 
 of God once for all ; not only conscious of 
 our weakness, and so submitting to his 
 power, because we cannot help it; but choos- 
 ing' and preferring to receive all our strength 
 of him, rather than to have it in and of our- 
 selves, if Vv^e might ; to have the root of our 
 spiritual life in him, to be ,actuated by his 
 power, and blessed with his happiness. Me- 
 thinks we may see something of the fall of 
 Lucifer, and the sin of the first man, in the 
 contrary disposition. The creature is not 
 fit to be trusted v/ith self- ability ; pride is 
 inseparable from it, and puffs it up sufficient- 
 ly, even with a derived power, seen and ac- 
 knowledged to be such. The great St. Paul 
 ivantcd a thorn in the flesh. 
 
 If we were at peace within, external 
 things would have but little power to hurt 
 us. 
 
 If God gives internal comfort, it is not 
 that we may live upon it, but to suj>port and 
 animate us to some- farther end. 
 
 Have 1 oi distmet inward consciousness of 
 a real desire to be with God ; of such a pre- 
 ference of the heaver. ly to the carthl} state, 
 aiKUuch a fitness for it, as that if it was offer- 
 ed to my choJCw this moment, 1 should find 
 X 2 
 
246 THOUGHTS ON RELICI4)N, &C. 
 
 myself carried thither by a centripetal force^ 
 and rush into it with joy and transport ? 
 
 Let others think as ill of me as they please, 
 provided I do not think too well of myself. 
 We should conceive of time and eternity 
 as different periods of the same state, or dif- 
 ferent degrees of the same kind of life, requi- 
 ring the same dispositions, but always im- 
 proving; and not as separated by a great 
 gulph, and quite different from each other in 
 their interests, pleasures, and employments. 
 This would be running time into eternity, 
 aud bring eternity down to time : we should 
 then think and act like eternal beings, and 
 live here as we are to do in heaven. Let 
 the whole world therefore be divided into 
 two great sects, viz. Timists and Eternal- 
 ists. 
 
 To-day's duty is no discharge for to-mor- 
 row : every day has its own peremptory de- 
 mand upon us, not only for repetition but 
 advancement. It is a saying of St. Basil, 
 that the soul would starve, as well as the bo- 
 dy, without a continual renewal of its proper 
 food ; and St. Paul's motto in the midst of 
 such a course of labour and activity as 
 would quite have sunk the spirits of another 
 man was porward. 
 
 I can never bear to be found fault with, or 
 thought meanly of by others, unless I am 
 before hand with them, in thinking meanly 
 of myself. 
 
CHRISTIAN LIFE. 247' 
 
 I find I owe meekness, tranquility, pa- 
 tience, &c. to my body as well as to my 
 soul. 
 
 We expect submission and amendment 
 from the wrong person : we should expect 
 them from ourselves. 
 
 Have a work to do daily, with a will to it, 
 and a praver upon it, and let that work be 
 God's. 
 
 Submission to the will of God once for 
 all ; and then ! shall have my own every day 
 and hour of my life. 
 
 Tliere can be no true peace with God 
 without faithfulness in duty, and a resolute 
 iibhorrence of all sin. 
 
 Whatever good qualities you have, desire 
 not to have them seen, unless it be for the 
 benefit of others, and to bring glory to the 
 author of them. Be as good, and do as 
 much good as ever you can, and give the 
 pride of it to the devil. 
 
 Time can only be made happy, as eterni- 
 ty will be, by our living for and with God ; 
 not grudgingly, or barely from a sense of du- 
 ty in obedif^nce to a command ; but freely 
 and with delight, as the very thing we choose, 
 and are carried to with the bent of our na- 
 ture. 
 
 I am resolved to receive my virtue from 
 God as a gift, instead of presenting him with 
 a spurious kind of my own. 
 
 Till we do our duty to God, we can never 
 do it to man. And what we do to othersj 
 
248 THOtrCHTS ON RELIGION, &C; 
 
 will be more from spurious motives, thaii 
 sense of duty or religion in the heart. 
 
 "The meek si.all inherit the earth." — 
 Whatever other sense the words mav have, 
 they are certainly true in this, that the meek 
 have much more enjoyment of tlums. Jves, 
 and puss more quietly through the world, 
 whatever is their lot in.it, than other men. — = 
 What would the greatest affluence signify to 
 a man's happiness, if he had it with this con- 
 dition, to receive one or more wounds with 
 a sword every day of his life ? Pride and 
 passion are that sword. 
 
 I am under a strict bond to Jesus, to re 
 ceive the rule of right from him in ail cases, 
 and act agreeably to it. 
 
 The heart can only be happy according to 
 its bent, and in the possession and enjo}'meiit 
 of what it loves. All therefore depends up- 
 on the choice it makes of its object ; and 
 there is but one we can think of, which, for 
 power, fulness, and continuance, is sufficient 
 for its hippiness. 
 
 I would not exchange the Iktle faint eiForts 
 H can make towards praising God for all 
 worldly comforts. 
 
 A tender conscience is an inestimable 
 blessing ; th.»t is, a conscience not only 
 quick to discern whit is evii, but instantly 
 to shun it, as the eye-lid closes itself against 
 a mote. 
 
 A lively sense of God's mercy in Christ, 
 and iove in the heart ; ib not this the Spirit's 
 
CHRISTIAN' LIFE. 249 
 
 baptism of fire ? And what have I to do in 
 the world but to get and keep it ? 
 
 What God commands I will do ; what he 
 forbids I will not do. I'his may be hard, 
 work^ and a cross to self ; but if I am not 
 thus disposed and resolved once for ail,, 
 where is my obedience, and what lesb than 
 tliis can be called sincerity ? 
 
 God has only one \va}' of brina^ing all to 
 himself; viz. by martyrdom, or the cruci- 
 fixion of our wills. 
 
 So long as the animal sensual nature is pre- 
 dominant, we can only amuse ourselves with 
 one opinion after another, but never come to 
 the truth. 
 
 I did not know how much T was given up 
 toearthly comforts, till they wwl take^, irom 
 me, and I was reduced to the necessity of 
 living upon God. 
 
 Now for a single eye and a pure heart ! 
 now there seems to be an opening to the 
 happy time of forsaking all ! it is only a 
 glimpse ; but if I keep my attention fixed 
 upon it, it will bring me full into the light. 
 
 There is a kind of almightiness in the will 
 to reject sin, whenever it is pleased to do 
 its office ; as it infallibly always would, if it 
 was so hx-e as is commonly imagined. It 
 seems to me that the great change, which 
 the scripture calls regeneration, or renewal to 
 the image of God, in setting the will at liber- 
 ty to execute the commands of him, who 
 gave it us, and who does nothing without it. 
 
250 THOUGHTS ON RELIGION, 8cC. 
 
 "I'hc Sj)int plies his office with great assi- 
 duity and divine art ; pressing lo be heard, 
 w tiling for the favourable season, and always 
 ready to improve it. 
 
 A full IS God's advantage as well as the 
 devil's ; and as we incline to one or the 
 other, we may rise higher from it, or fall still 
 lower. 
 
 The more I increase in notions (inly, the 
 more ^uiit of knowledge and pride ot heart. 
 
 t will be well with me when perfection 
 is the great purpose of my life, ruling passion 
 and wish of my heart, and I direct my efiorts 
 tow irds it, aiod grieve as much for coming 
 short of it, as natural and worldly men do 
 Vv'hen they are perpetually crossed and hin- 
 dered in the darling object of their pursuit. 
 
 There is no happiness but in perfection, 
 consequently not in this world ; for the 
 nearer we come to it, the more we grieve for 
 coming short of it. 
 
 God made us for eternity, and his aim in 
 all he does, is to^ bring us happily to it. — 
 Hence the necessity of pain, sickness, cross- 
 es, to break the strong chain which binds us 
 to the world, awd force us to take part with 
 God in his grand design. 
 
 Every man might be more useful and hap- 
 py than he is, if he would be contented to be 
 employed about one thmg. 
 
 Better give my heart to God late than ne- 
 ver ; better by force, or the loss of earthl^v 
 comforts, than not at all. 
 
CHRISTIAN LIFE. ' 251 
 
 If I was to give all my goods to feed the 
 poor, and my body to be burned, Christ 
 would say to me, '' this is not the sacrifice I 
 want ; give up that darling lust ; give up 
 every sin ; give up thy will ; sacrifice thyself 
 to be as a whole burnt-offering in the fire of 
 love, and for the joy of my salvation." 
 
 The " poor in spirit" — are those who de- 
 sire no earthly distinction, covet no earthly 
 riches, are thankful for what they have, and 
 think it more than they deserve. 
 
 Desired to pay my subscription to the 
 county hospital. God's demand is upon 
 the heart, for love, for cheerfulness in giving, 
 for activity in doing good, for a great deal 
 more than I do, for singleness and purity in 
 all things, and all for Christ's sake. . 
 
 When frames are high, self is high, pride 
 •is high, and faith often at the lowest. When 
 fnmies are low, faith is not therefore high, 
 but self may be as strong as ever, and only 
 restless and troubled for the want of its sole 
 support. 
 
 The will of God is my life, and dearer to 
 me than life. If 1 do not stand to this, I am 
 undone. 
 
 Conversion is, when the longing of the 
 soul is no longer to stnsual gratifications, or 
 worldly abundaiice, but simply and j)urtly 
 to heavenly things ; so that v^ hen the ques- 
 tion is asked, wherein do I seek iorrtsi, sat- 
 islaction, and enjoyment ? The heari can an- 
 
^52 THOUGHTS ON RELICION, ftcC. 
 
 'swer at once, in communion with God, 
 through Christ, by the Spirit. 
 
 We are perfect, not by arriving at a certain 
 point of perfection, but by always going on : 
 as a traveller is equally perfect in every step 
 ' of his journey, who knows his way, and pro- 
 ceeds in it without stopping. 
 
 One sensible, experimental proof of 
 Christ's power and presence in time of con- 
 flict, of danger, or temptation, will hardly 
 ever be forgotten, and binds the soul to him 
 in trust and affiance more than a thousand 
 arguments. 
 
 God cannot be enjoyed but as he is loved, 
 nor loved but as he is known, nor known 
 but by Christ, nor by Christ but as revealed 
 to the heart by the Spirit. 
 
 Actions, affections, passions, flowing from 
 religion as ^.nature, are a source of happiness 
 to ourselves and others ; but the contrary, 
 when religion is submitted to as a task, and 
 no love and purity in the heavt. 
 
 We have time enough to prepare for eter- 
 nity, and should be thankful that we have 
 none to spare. 
 
 We cannot enjoy both God and sin. It is 
 the curse of nature, and horrible corruption 
 to choose the latter. 
 
 I see plainly why I am no better ; it is 
 because I do not live more upon Christ — 
 The more I possess and enjoy his love, the 
 more Ishall study to please and belike him. 
 
CHRISTIAN LIFE. 253 
 
 The journey through life is as Peter's 
 walking on the water ; and if Christ does 
 not reach out his hand, we are every mo- 
 ment in dangtr of sinking. 
 
 He is a happy man who is never angry ; 
 next to him is he whose anger immediately 
 recoils upon himself for being angry. 
 
 He who is heartily troubled for his anger 
 in godly repentance, and earnestly striving 
 against it, is, perhaps, a more virtuous man, 
 than he who, from natural meekness of tem- 
 per, is seldom or never angry. 
 
 Nature says, if I may not sin, let me die ; 
 grace says, let me die rather than sin. 
 
 The Christian draws nigh to God as a re- 
 conciled father in the faith of Christ ; press- 
 es on to a complete victory over sin, and the 
 glory of the inward man in a pure and per- 
 fect heart. God to-day : and what to-mor- 
 row ? God. 
 
 Thankful for Christ, thankful for every 
 thing, and always in a serene quiet state of 
 mind. 
 
 It is a great paradox, but glorious truth 
 of Christianity, that a good conscience may 
 consist with a consciousness of evil. 
 
 The gospel precepts, or morality, are not 
 regulated in the manner of Socrates, Piato. 
 &c. but delivered to us on the authority of 
 Goci ; and receiving them as so dt livered, is 
 not only a better security against mistake 
 than reason can be in the most improved 
 state, but is our rectitude in the sight of God, 
 
254 THOUGHTS ON RELIGION, &.C. 
 
 and perhaps the highest excellence of which 
 the soul of man is capable, as being the test 
 of its obedience ^nd submission to the sove- 
 reign and only perfect will. 
 
 ** No man when he hath lighted a candle 
 putteth it under a bushel." *' From him that 
 hath not, shall be taken even that which he 
 hath." Let me not think that God hath 
 given me abilities which he hath not, or be 
 unthankful for what he docs give, or suffer 
 them to lie dead upon my hands, or take the 
 glory of ihem to myself, or envy others for 
 having more, or despise any for having less, 
 
 I should be as thank lul for every morsel 
 I eat, as if T was ptrishing with hunger,, imd 
 it was brought to me by a miracle; thus, 
 indeed, it is by a great many. 
 
 I shall be as happy as it is possible to be 
 on this side the gn::ve, when I have a clear 
 perception that (divine things are prtftrred 
 in my esteem to all others, and have taken 
 such possession ol my soul, that 'settle up- 
 on them with full acquiescence ; not looking 
 for rest and salishiCtion trem st usual graiifi- 
 cai ions, worldly prosptcts, or comforts of 
 any kind ; but solely in comn' union ivith 
 God, : nd enjoying m} self da} by day in do- 
 ing hisvvrrk, in 'the relish I havt for spirit- 
 ual exercises, and a di igent prepi ration for 
 eternity. O bjrsstd Spirit, cltar up this idea 
 to my mind, and by ;th3 <fFtciual operation 
 makt it :ile anc^ power in my heart. 
 
 The earth would be suU a paradise, ii wc 
 
CHRISTIAN LIJE. 255 
 
 had the art of enjoying it, and did not turn it 
 into a curse to ourselves by our sins and 
 passions. 
 
 It is hardly worth while to be happy for 
 the short time of life. If yon must needs be 
 at pains about it, let your first cftbrts be to 
 find out the men who can tell you what hap- 
 piness is. He is the least unhappy, who 
 makes least account of happiness in this 
 world ; puts himself in God's way to it, pa- 
 tiently waits his time for it, and can see a 
 smile on the "face of death. 
 
 The best thing we can do in the want of 
 love, is to endeavour, under a sense of duty, 
 to do as nearly as possible, what love- would. 
 
 Christ's service, and the appertinents of 
 God's worship, are the enjoyment of the day, 
 the seasoning of life, the soul's feast and pro- 
 per nourishment. 
 
 No compensation, commutation, or sub* 
 stitute of any kind will be allowed instead of 
 a renewed will and unreserved obedience 
 from a pure heart. Be entire with God, O 
 my soul ! come full into the joy of a pure 
 heart, an obedient will, and upright con- 
 science. Never set a foot forward without 
 making it a step to the New Jerusalem. I 
 shall have brought all to a happy conclusion, 
 when God has full possession of my heart. 
 
 A person who has taken gospel truths in- 
 to his mind and heart, and can think, with 
 well-grounded hopeand pleasing expectation, 
 on the joys of believers, will have but little 
 
256 THOUGHXa ON RELIGION, &e, 
 
 relish for Homtr, Virgil, Horace, Tully, 
 &c. 
 
 If you would be humble, and know what 
 you want Christ for, nevtr think how much 
 you have done, but how much you have left 
 undone. On the othtr hand, make not what 
 Christ has done for you a pretence for doing 
 kss than you might. 
 
 Happiness is not here ; it cannot be found 
 in iht \\ ay of nature, sadly corrupt and dis- 
 ordered ; and nature will have its share of 
 the m. n, in spite of all his efforts to dispos- 
 sess it. 
 
 The he.irt is to the soul what the stomach 
 is to the body ; a g<>^od or bad constitution 
 resuhing to and from each respectively. 
 
 In ail events and occurrences, trials and 
 crosses, I would go to Christ for advice, and 
 power to act according to it. 
 
 On earih. pryyc-r, improvement, waiting; 
 in iieaven, pnii^e, perkction, happiness. 
 
 Live with Gocl now, as you expect and 
 wish to live with him fur ever, in holy fear, 
 pure love, and the perfection ofi.n obedient 
 wi!l. t is an awful thing to die, more or 
 less as we make it an awful thing to live 
 
 Those who mi gnify the present comforts 
 of religion, and embrace it chiefly as a means 
 of happiness in this world, are only sensual- 
 ists in disguise, and are sure to be disap- 
 pointed. 
 
 A good man loves goodness in the abstract. 
 
CHRISTIAN LIFE. 257 
 
 for its o\vn sake, in others as v/cll as himself, 
 in God transcencbntly. 
 
 God will not suffer the world to sniile up- 
 on his servants, lest they should tail in love 
 with it. The man who knows his business 
 in the world, and has his eye fixed upon 
 his best interest, can welcome pain, crosses, 
 passion, hatred. 
 
 When shall I be pleased with myself? 
 Never, till I am pleased with God. 
 
 ** Followers of them, who, throuj^h faith 
 and patience, inherit the promises." II we 
 are Christians, we shall believe, desire, and 
 k)ng for the promises ; and as surely as we 
 desire them, we shall prepare for them in 
 God's way. 
 
 Engaging in religion merely for the pre. 
 sent comfort and satisfaction of it, or be- 
 cause it is the happiest kind of life, is doing 
 it upon a mistaken motive ; and if our ex- 
 pectations are not answered to the full, we 
 ^hall grow weary of it, and fly to something 
 else. It should be for eternity ; iiud then 
 we shall be set free from worldly desires^ 
 supported with hope, refuse no hardships^ 
 wait patiently, and contini\e steadfast to the 
 end. 
 
 Every spiritual person, at times, is lively, 
 and feels a glow at his heart, in the exercise 
 of faith, prayer, meditation, and reading the 
 scripture ; but though he has the sume will 
 and desire ; yet, in spite of all his efforts, is of- 
 ten dull, cold, and unaffected. I can account 
 Y 2 
 
258 THOUGHTS ON RELIGION, &C. 
 
 for this no way, but by the Spirit's agency 
 and presence at one time more than another; 
 because in other intellectual acts and appear- 
 ances it is not so. Whatever science, a 
 man is in pursuit of, the mind is ready at 
 his call, though not always with the same 
 vigour, yet with very little variation or in-r 
 terruption. 
 
 It is something to make the thought of 
 Christ's presence a check to every thought, 
 word, and deed : but still it is only being an 
 eye-servant. Would I do and forbear the 
 same things for his sake, and out of pure 
 love to his commands, if I knew he did not 
 see me ? 
 
 When time is devoted to God, we shall 
 have enough for all other uses. 
 
 " Strengthened with might by his Spirit 
 in the inner man ;" — abstracted from the 
 world, its interests and pleasures ; singly 
 and purely devoted to God, and the pursuit 
 of heavenly things ; determined for all duty 
 and against all sin. *• That Christ may 
 -dwdl in my heart by faith" — the joy and 
 the Lord of my heart ; the sweetness and 
 the drawing of my heart ; the cordial and 
 the life of my heart ; so lovely and so belov- 
 ed, that I had rather die than displease him. 
 *' My heart is fixed" — to have no temptation, 
 or evil lusting, I cannot say ; not to yield to 
 it, or fall by it, I must say. 
 
 I am sensible that the Spirit will bring 
 me under a severe discipline, and carry on 
 
CHRISTIAN LIFE. 239 
 
 his work according to the rule of scripture, 
 without allowance of one sin, or dispcrnsiiig 
 with any one comniund. Am 1 in his hands 
 for such a work as this, and does he say 
 Amen to it in my heart ? 
 
 If desire of regeneration, and persevering- 
 prayer for it, is not a proof of faith, it will be 
 hard to find a man who can give a better. 
 
 Get a step towards heaven ; eiideavour to 
 master some evil temper, and break loose 
 from some worldly tie every day. Victory 
 over one sin upon right grounds, will pave 
 the way to an easy conquest of all. 
 
 If I was to begin my life again, what 
 would I do ? Live to God, or myself? Do 
 I not see the amiableness, excellence, and 
 necessity of such a disposition ? What then 
 is my present determination ? 
 
 What dots it signify where I am ; or 
 what can I want, if I advert always to the 
 presence of God ; see him in every thing ; 
 find him in my heart ; and have no design 
 in the world but of li\ing to his will ; nor 
 expectation of rest and enjoyment but in 
 communion with him ? 
 
 My rest is not here, either in respect of 
 9Utward things, or the inward state of my 
 mind. 
 
 If I do not enjoy the will of God, I shall 
 have no enjoyment of any thing else. I may 
 have comfort for the remainder of life, if I 
 ean but come to a resolution of giving up 
 
260 THOUGHTS ON RELIGION, ScC. 
 
 all Other comforts and enjoyments for the 
 will of God. 
 
 Conquest of temptation, deliverance from 
 the power of evil habks, and a ready com- 
 pliance with the will of God, in answer to 
 pr.iyer, is a much better proof of his favour- 
 able presence than joyous feelings. The lat- 
 ter may be mistaken ; but the former are a 
 sure mark of the divine operation and bless- 
 ing-, as that a plentiful crop of corn has had 
 the benefit of rain and sunshin-^. 
 
 Sensible communications miy be and are 
 often withheld from the best of men ; the 
 better they are, the more they desire perfect 
 conformity to the will of God as their por- 
 tion and happiness. 
 
 H .ppy mjn ! when that hallelujah is the 
 experience of my soul, *' The Lord God 
 omnipotent reigneth !" 
 
 My cure is in the hands of God, and I 
 must not set him a time, but priy earnestly, 
 and wait p itientiy for its coming. 
 
 God helps us in the way of our own wills, 
 and we are never helped internally till they 
 are in union with the commandment. It is a 
 glorious state, and happy proof of our re- 
 novation, when we stand firm on God's side 
 against temptation. 
 
 H )W happy shall I be in the full desire : 
 Oh \ how happy in the full experience of the 
 grace und power of Christ. ■ -■ 
 
 " As yet hardenest thou thyself against 
 
CHRISTIAN LIFE. 261 
 
 me, thntthou wilt not let sin go?*' Ste the 
 hisiorv of Pharaoh. 
 
 The- soul cannot possibly be in a state of 
 indiifcrence ; it must have a prevailing, su- 
 prc-me regard to some objvct or other ds its 
 support. The great interesting question is, 
 God or sensuality. ?f there is not a ckar, 
 positive determinatic n for the former, the lat- 
 ter is proved upon us at once. 
 
 We miscarry sadly in our religious pro- 
 gress by attempting the hardest things first. 
 It is our duty to praise God, and happy is the 
 soul tliat can do it ; but it is a vain thing in 
 the n^ouths of those who have not yet learned 
 to have patience with him. 
 
 A plant must be set in thecarih, and have 
 rain and sunshine. This is the very case of 
 the soul's implantation into Christ, and 
 growth by him. 
 
 We could be \vell enough content to be 
 rid of some particular spiritual disorders, 
 and perhaps may be earnest in prayer for it ; 
 but this is wretched tampering with a mortal 
 disease, and in this way we shall l.e always 
 unhelped. Christ's method of healing is to 
 strike at the constitution of sin, by going to 
 the root of the distemper, and we never can 
 persuade him to begin his work at the wrong 
 end. 
 
 Communion with God can only be upon 
 God's teims, by a ptrfect surrender of my- 
 self all I have and am ; my understanding, 
 heuri; wiil, conscience, affections, state, and 
 
202 THOUGHTS ON RELIGION, ScG. 
 
 life; to know, .do, suffer, and be wbatiever 
 he pleases. God's victory is in and. over 
 tlie heart. Being good is a different thing 
 from doing, good, and much harder. 
 
 '^rJiitt any man's thoughts are raised hea- 
 venwards, and his affections set on things 
 above, is as much from the Spirit's agency, 
 and by as great a miracle, as if his body was 
 to rise up into the air. 
 
 A little farther from sin, and a little near- 
 er to God, day by day. 
 
 The comfort of the Holy Ghost is, firsts 
 his establishing us in the faith of Jesus 
 Christ ; that through him we have forgive- 
 ness of sins, and in him are made the right- 
 eousness of God, and heirs of everlasting 
 life : and, secondly, his working repentance, 
 uniting us to the will of God, and renewing 
 us to his image in love. The first is our 
 chief comfort here ; the latter is only a be- 
 gun state, and will be our glory and never- 
 ending happiness in heaven. 
 
 Grieve for nothing but sin, and for not 
 grieving for it enough : rejoice only in 
 Christ's victory over it, recovery to God by 
 him, and pure devotion to him. Oh ! that I 
 may from henceforth think with horror, as- 
 tonishment of soul, and the most perfect de- 
 testation, of indulging a wish, or keeping 
 any thing in my. heart that would keep God 
 out of it. I hope I shall make a choice ; and 
 I know what it must be, God and his will, 
 Christ and his work, the Spirit and his bap- 
 tism of fire. 1 Sam, vi. 12. " And the kiue 
 
CHRISTIAN LIFE. 26S 
 
 'took the straight way to the way of Beth- 
 shcmesh, and went along the higliway, low- 
 ing as they v\^nt; and turned not aside to the 
 right hand or to the left." Just so 1 should 
 do, go straight forward, against nature, by 
 divine impulse into God's land. 
 
 Every temptation is an opportunity of get* 
 ting nearer to God. 
 
 Cleave to the will of God, and turn with it 
 constantly, as the weather- cock dues with 
 the wind. 
 
 What is the great single object, tht^ sole 
 end I live for, and keep constantly in view ? 
 Is it heaven, in the way of duty and labour, 
 whatever it cost ? or a scheme of some 
 kind or other for present gratifiCdtion, termi- 
 nating in this world? tint is, in St. Paui's 
 words, " making provisions for the flesh to 
 fulfil the lusts thereof," no matter how de- 
 cently and reputably. 
 
 The soul is -like the earth, sometimes green 
 and springing, at other times dry and wirhc r- 
 ing ; both powerless in themselves, and nei- 
 ther of them fruitful without a proper culti- 
 vation on the part of man. 
 
 The Christian says, wherever I see the 
 will of God, my own is determined at once : 
 I account all hardships light for tlie joy I 
 have in it, and opp')sition to it, hell. 
 
 J never look upon a dead c<^rpbe, and yet 
 my soul, perhaps may one dny feehold my 
 own. What an awful moment ! how happy 
 will be the sight if soul ^lul body have lived 
 together for eternity ! how dreadful if they 
 
264 THOUGHTS ON RELIGION, &C. 
 
 have not ! and what a call is there in this 
 thought to make sure of rejoicing then ! 
 
 When my nature is renewed, I shuU be in 
 renewed nature; see the world, and every 
 thing belonging to it, in a new light, and 
 have one foot in Paradise restored 
 
 Confess your sins and pray, as if it was to 
 be the last time. 
 
 I shall never be any thing till I know I am 
 nothing ; leave it to God to make what he 
 pleases, and seek no praise or worldly advan- 
 tages inordinately for myself, rf I am in 
 union with the will of God, I shall see it, and 
 advert to his presence in every thing, and 
 biess him for every thing, wind and weather, 
 crosses, sickness, death ; and what is the 
 hardest of all, I shall do it in health and 
 prosperity. 
 
 If I was told that T must be ten feet high 
 to get to heaven, what should I do ? Use 
 means, and stri^'e hard to stretch myself up 
 to the measure or pray ? The holiness re- 
 quired of me is as much out of my power, 
 and as much the work ot another hand. — - 
 Men may counterfeit it, but to be real, it 
 must be infused or created. In this point 
 we grievously mistake, or overlook both 
 scripture and experience. 
 
 Life has its enjoyments, and is not the 
 contemptible thing we make it, but heaven 
 upon earth, when it is conducted upon right 
 principles, directed to a right end, and devo- 
 ted to the will of God. What would we 
 have more, when the way of heaven is 
 
CHRISTIAN LIFE. 265 
 
 through heaven, if quiet passion s, regular de^ 
 sires, contented minds, pure wills, well- 
 grounded hopes, holy longings, happy fore- 
 tastes, communion with God, and recon- 
 ciliation to death can make it so? 
 
 *' Sanctify the Lord God in your hearts," 
 —by adverting constantly to his presence 
 with reverence and godly fear ; considering 
 him as always looking upon the heart; trust- 
 ing on his Almighty protection ; believing 
 in him as a holy, sin-hating God, and recon- 
 ciled to sinntrs of mankind only in Jesus 
 Christ ; valuing his favour above all the 
 world and making it the settled, sole aim of 
 our lives to approve ourselves to his pure 
 eyes. 
 
 If I was in union with the will of God, I 
 should see whatever befals me as stamped 
 with it, and be always m a state of enjoy- 
 ment, as having the very thing I desire. 
 
 ** He that tbrsaketh not all that ht hath ;" 
 — all he desires, loves, and is by nature ; all 
 his worldly possessions and enjoyments, so 
 as to be separated from them in a he.irt and 
 affection, and clearly resolved to follow 
 Christ, cost what it will ; rtnounci'^g his 
 reason, powers, and tend' iicies, as truly in- 
 suffici* nt to make his peace with God, and 
 conduct him lo happiness, " cannot," suys 
 Christ, " be my disciple." 
 
 We do not so much 2i'i> purpose to do the 
 will ot God, ifli w^ purpc^se to do it fully.— 
 Obedience is doing tht wiii of God, because 
 z 
 
266 THOUGHTS ON RELIGION, 8cC. 
 
 it is his will, iiiid not only so far as ^ see the 
 fi.ncss oi it ; or as it tails iii with my own 
 way ol plciihing myself. 
 
 Paul said, " I keep under my body, and 
 bring it into subjection :" — if the word soul 
 "Was put instead ol bod , it would suit ihe 
 gfneniiiy much better. 
 
 God is th« Lord of my will, not sin, not 
 the world, not the flesh, not the devil ; God 
 is The great object of my aftections ; the joy 
 of my life ; the portion and strength of my 
 heart ; the centre and rest of my sout, to 
 whom all my desires tend, and with whom 
 only I am at home. Lord give me powi r to 
 say this, and deal with me as thou pleascst. 
 
 Begin the Christian race from ihe cross, 
 and whenever you faint or grow weary, look 
 back to it. 
 
 O, for the Spirit's sense of sin ! the Spirit's 
 Bit^-hi of Christ ! the Spirit's work of obe- 
 dienc ! 
 
 It is a great thing to say, '' My will is 
 God's;" but greater to say, ** Mv htati is 
 God's :" Lord, have mtrcy on mt, and h( 'p 
 me in both ; for it is only in thee that I can 
 obey and love. 
 
 Be sure that you are in God's hands to 
 de;il with you as he pleases ; and thf n c!t hire 
 n(;thing, either in temporals or spirituals, 
 but what ht ord< rs. 
 
 One great mistake of life is looking to the 
 elouc's lor haj pintss instead ct lookiig 
 ^bove them. Ihe momtnt 1 lorgtlGod, or 
 
cHARi.rv. 267 
 
 cease adverting to hii presence, ^ forget my- 
 seli. 
 
 When fear the dibpleasure of God ; seek 
 his favour ; set him always before mc ; de- 
 light in his presence ; I At his wiii ; ind 
 m tke the eternal enjoyment ofhmi ih^ h jpe 
 and great wish of my soul, sh .11 k:*o\v as 
 certainly that my nature is changed by power 
 from above, as that I did not nuike myself. 
 
 I read that *' such an one renounced the 
 errors of popery at sueh a time and place :" 
 Have I renounced the errors of a sinful life, 
 and all sin, as sin ? 
 
 " iMens Sana in corpore sano ;" that is, 
 " a sound mind in a health)' body," w^s a 
 good pagan prayer ; but the Christian's 
 v/ish is, a right mind, let it fare with the body 
 how it will. 
 
 Wc are never so near sitting down in (he 
 lowest room, as when we know assuredly 
 that we arc not in it. 
 
 CHLAP. X. 
 CHARITY. 
 
 I MUST love and honour all men, not^ 
 withstanding their vileaess and corruption ; 
 
^68 THOUCHTS ON RELIGION, &C. 
 
 and though I have reason to think, from 
 what I know of myself, that they are much 
 worse than they seem to btr. 
 
 To leave off sinning, is chanty of the best 
 kind to my neighbours. 
 
 If you would come any thing nearer hap- 
 piness upon earth, endea\ our lo live with ail 
 mankind in a state of as pure love as you will 
 in heaven. Dr. Young says, *' to have no 
 one to whom we heartily wibh well, and for 
 whom we are warmly concerned, is a deplo- 
 rable state :"— but to have an universal ten- 
 der feeling of loA^e for mankind, as Christ had, 
 and to regard every man as a brother, with 
 the kindness of real affection, as Christians 
 are exhorted to do, is certainly much better 
 than a state of natural partial love to some 
 few particulars. Is this possible ? Will it be 
 granted to prayer? 
 
 Wc cannot love others in a right manner, 
 without first loving God. 
 
 If my substance increases, woe be to me 
 if all who have a claim upon me are not the 
 richer for it. 
 
 Never rebuke any man without praying 
 for him. 
 
 No faith, no quickening, no renovation, 
 iio liking of Christ without the love of souls* 
 
 If I hate any one, I love none truly. 
 
 Look upon every person you meet oi 
 converse with as one for whom Christ died. 
 This will not only keep you from all injury^ 
 
CHARITY. 269 
 
 but engage you to all acts and endeavours of 
 love to the boulb and bodies of all. 
 
 The way never to speak of any with con- 
 tempt, is never to think of any with con- 
 tempt. 
 
 The farther a man advances in Christian- 
 ity, the more he sees ot the ignorance, s«^lf- 
 ish baseness, and corruption of mankind ; 
 and yet the more he loves them. Tht- wis- 
 dom from above can account for this seem- 
 ing impossibility, 
 
 U I aim at the real spiritual improvement 
 of those I converse with, i shall never say 
 any thing to irritate or vex them, but keep 
 a constant guard upon m} self; and ii it shall 
 please God to work mightily upon this pas-^ 
 sionate, haughty spirit of mine. I shuli be 
 gende towards all men, notwithstanding the 
 greatest provocations. 
 
 It is a great iault, even of good men, to 
 expect that others should be convinced of, 
 and brought to own the truth all at once, and 
 perhaps to be angry il they are not : neither 
 considering how difficult it is for sUv h a bliid 
 and proud creatun as man to see the truth 
 and own his mistakes : nor by what slow 
 degrees they arrive d at it themselves. Little 
 good comes by disputing. Pride is gene- 
 rally at the bottom of it, und not charity, or 
 the love of iru h ; and it is seldom m >n ged 
 with decency and candour enouj^h to produce 
 any good effect. Let taii ci word in season, 
 z2 
 
270. THOUGHT'Sf ON RELIGION, &C. 
 
 and wait in patience till the rain drops upon 
 it from heaven. 
 
 Though St. Paul, in 1 Gor. xiii. describes 
 charity only by its effects, as exerted to- 
 wards men ; yet the essence of charity, and 
 the root and cause of these effects is, and 
 must be, the love of God, Man, in Ws na- 
 tural state, jn:4y love some few particulars, 
 and those perhaps not disinterestedly ; but 
 he cannot love man as such, or the human 
 nature in general, till he himself is transform- 
 ed into the divine. 
 
 If we are truly foremost in the Christian 
 course, there will be no triumphing-, or car- 
 rying ourselves aloft upon it ; we shall be 
 heartily sorry to see others so far behind us. 
 
 I do not know that any pagan writer ever 
 mentions or recommends, what Christ calls 
 the first and great commandment ; viz. the 
 love of God : and yet this is the gi-and duty 
 of man to his Maker ; the basis and essence 
 of virtue ; and tlie grand means of happiness ; 
 when this is v\imting, all our performances, 
 how specious soever, are not only uncom- 
 fortable and unacceptable, but sinful. 
 
 It is a matter of no small difficulty to be 
 silent with reason on our side. And yet for 
 peace sake, and the preservation of decorum, 
 or what is more essential, of charity and 
 tranquility, it is for the most part necessary 
 to acquiesce, even in things of some conse- 
 quence ; how much more in trifles andnicit' 
 ters of ordinary conversation. 
 
CHARITY. 27i 
 
 When any one is discomposed, and peev- 
 ish for nothuis^, or mere trifle^s, 1 see imme- 
 diately the odioiisness of such n temptr, and 
 the weakness of mind it proceeds trom. Pt r- 
 Jiaps it will be my turn lo-morrow. Let it 
 be a rule with me, upon such occasions, to do 
 all I can to heal and soften, and never to irri- 
 tate ; and especially to guard against the in- 
 fection of the disorder, and iiatred of the per- 
 son. 
 
 Liking and esteeming others merely for 
 their agreement with us in religion, opinion, 
 and manner of living, is only a less offensive 
 kind of self-adoration. 
 
 Speaking ill of others at all, unless it be to 
 prevent mischief, to religion or our neigh- 
 bour, is only for the sake of tickling our- 
 selves, and those that hear us, with a compa- 
 rison ; proceeds from pride; and has no 
 C;th(.r tendency but to increase it. 
 
 I can love nothing as I ought, till I love 
 every thing in God. 
 
 In case of peevishness, ill-nature, and un- 
 reasonable passion in othc rs, if it is possible, 
 be unmoved, be gentle, ai;d compassionate; 
 give place to wrath ; do not iiriiate ; try to 
 soften ; and sympathize not at any rate. 
 
 Love will fill up and sweeten all our time, 
 
 A true Christian cannot bear the thought 
 ef going to heaven alone. 
 
 The strictest observation of the law, from 
 slavish fear, or other spurious motives, niever 
 t/orkcd any maa one jot neiirer to heaven. 
 
272 1 HOUGH TS ON RELIGION, 8cC, 
 
 Wiihout a true hearty principle of love and 
 obedience to God, we arc as much out of" his 
 way of happiness, as uiterly unqualified for 
 it, and as destitute of real .i^oodness, as if we 
 lived in the known continual breac h of ail the 
 commnidnicntir. 
 
 Must no op.e hope for iIk* favour of God, 
 till he has attained to the perfection of ch.ri- 
 ty, as desorilxd by St. Paul, 1 Cor. xiii. ?— 
 Or doi.-s he set chnrity before us in its fail di- 
 mensions to humble us, to show us the greats 
 ness of our imperfection ; to seiid us to Christ 
 for remission, and the gift of tht Spirit ; to 
 lay in us the foundation of that divine grace, 
 which must be begun here, but can only be 
 perfected hereafter *? Martin Luther is posi- 
 tive for the 1 itter, ad Gal. p. 8J3. 
 
 If any m tn t ikes a tenth, or a fifth part 
 from his stt>ck, to give to the poor, the re- 
 in liiider will be a vveightier seed for produ- 
 cing m increase, rh^n if the whole had been 
 uniouciied. B it then this is a dciiCiite affair. 
 To give, chit fly with an expectation of the in- 
 crease, is iraHftc, and not charity. 
 
 S if neither can, nor perhaps ought to be 
 totally excluded from religion: but where 
 it is the great motive, can there be any reli- 
 gion *? 
 
 If I had no other end in view in advising 
 ©r si>e iki'.ig my ientimenrs, than merely the 
 g> ) I at ;)f 1 rs, \ shvJUid never do it with any 
 ^legrcc of pasbion. 
 
CHARITY. 27S 
 
 The desire and love of God is^ in propor- 
 tion to the greatness and reality of it, the ex- 
 tinction of all false desires, and consequently 
 of disobedience. 
 
 The love of God and man, which is the 
 sum of goodness, awd without which nothing 
 else is so, is but a sneaking virtue in the eyes 
 of the humanly virtuous and worldly prudent, 
 if not totally disregarded in their account of 
 virtue. 
 
 Religious persons cannot help giving of- 
 fence, and are bound to it ; but if they are 
 truly such, they will never do it but for the 
 sake of religion. 
 
 ! how I long to be received into the uni- 
 versal system of love, and to embrace every 
 occasion of doing good, as food to an appetite, 
 and the refreshment of nature ! 
 
 If an injury is done me, why should I do 
 myself a much greater by resenting it ! We 
 do not quarrel with our stomachs for being 
 sick, or with our bodies for giving us pain ; 
 still we have no desire but to gratify and put 
 them in order again. Thus we should be af- 
 fected towards all mankind; and study only 
 their good, let them do what they will to us. 
 
 1 bless and praise the Author of my being 
 for giving me a nature capable of love, for 
 showing me the excellence of it, inflaming my 
 desires after it, and promising to give it in 
 Christ Jesus, my Lord. 
 
 Love all mankind so well as to love God 
 only better. Anger, spite, ill- nature, &c. arc 
 
:274 THOUGHTS ON HELIGION, &rC. 
 
 sure to Vv.x o;?c, viz. the snbj. (.-t. The su- 
 rest way to kctp others in rtnijK i% is lu lutp 
 ourselves so. Love all, hetp :.ii, bear vvnh 
 ail, cond<. seeiid to all ; bu ckpc!;d on none. 
 
 No one can (K hire lo maiic ()ll]«.rs Chris- 
 tians, who is ncjt so hiniseit ; and a tru^ Clins- 
 tian CLinnf)t but ciesire it. 
 
 Disint^resiv d, iniparii. 1. universal love of 
 manivtnd is the temper ot h pj^iness in us, c r:d 
 e.-;s'-n»tiu! to it; bui love oi any 'hing as our 
 h. ,piness besidcbGod in Christ, is our curse 
 and misery. Acts of b . n*. ficencL contribute 
 nothing to our happiness, but swell us with 
 c -^nc 'ic; blind and corrupt us, iithty are not 
 -a/;^^ of love. 
 
 Let me direct all my studies chiefly to the 
 g-r 'T end or' serving: oihers in love ; and not 
 merely with a view to the pleasure of know- 
 ing ; much less to self applause, or the good 
 opinion oi' the world. 
 
 When others are unreasonably cross to us, 
 we little think, 1st. That the d^vil works up- 
 on, and is setting himself ag.iinst us bv ^^h ir 
 tempers, and that now is the time for conflict 
 and manful Ojjposition ;- nor, 2nd. What pity 
 is due to those who are thus influenced by 
 him. Let others be what they wiil, i must 
 love then at riy peril. Why then should I 
 lay the greatest obsracie in the way of ir, by 
 aggravating their fauit:3, or btiiig forw^iro lo 
 suspect any ill of tlum? 
 
 How glorious tind h ppv to say trul; in 
 case of injury,* " Tht uuthor oi it oniy Lui<;t- 
 
CHARITY. 275 
 
 me by hiirtinj^ hims ii !" Before you resent 
 a ihi i.r, Xi\ki: tiiiK', a twelvemonth at K ahi, to 
 coiibuLr whtrh<r rhuv bt any real caljse lor 
 it^ ^nd iiyou find dure is. do not df liberate 
 a moment, \vh( htr vou should foriJ:ive. 
 
 S.rveall vviih hearty jj^ood-wiil ; but know 
 mankind bet er th m to « xpeei niueh love or 
 grantude from them. S ly aii tht good you 
 Ci-n of all; but if you vv )ul(l have ih spoken 
 oi any, turn that offiee ov(.r to tlx devil. 
 
 The best way of bein^^ ^h iukfui to God for 
 what he gives me, is a iiberal distribudon of 
 it L )ve every m.m for Christ's sake, and 
 fe.:»' none in his cause. 
 
 When .-mi forward to speak the evil I 
 kn- vv, or perhaps only surmise of othcr.s, w it 
 c.;:» it proceed from but a desire- tha my 
 should be univerbally despised, or te, r ivst 
 th: y should not? how diibojcall Lv avr n 
 ill report to shift for itself; you need noi say 
 a word to set it lorward. 
 
 I love those as my best friends who want 
 my assistanc e. It I hoard any mont \ , it is no 
 more to me than it it was another mans wJneh 
 I had in keeping; it is only mine by b< ing 
 we I! bestowed. 
 
 Selfishness, withameasure of prudence , will 
 make a good father, husband, irieiiel, .a»d 
 neighbour; will perform many acts ot viri ue, 
 and answer all the ends of socjet) ; iv.d w hat 
 can religion do more? Nodiing, bu: turn 
 selfishness into love, and make that a rcciiiiy% 
 which before was counterfeit. 
 
276 THOUGHTS ON RELIGION, &C. 
 
 Dr. Young says, ** there are some whom 
 we cannot love but for God's sake." It is a 
 happy experience, and full proof of a super- 
 natural change, when we find that there are 
 none whom we do not so love. 
 
 I spare to spend ; enjoy more what I spend 
 than what 1 spare ; and what I give, more than 
 what I spend. What I give cheerfully and for 
 Christ's sake, is charity to myself. Thefarth- 
 ing I give is gold, the guinea 1 keep in my 
 pocket is lead. When Christ comes v/ith 
 any one to ask me to lend, he must not be de- 
 nied, though I know he does not always in- 
 tend to repay it in kind. Oh, how happy 
 should we be, if we could impart ourselves 
 to all, in all kinds of help, with the same free- 
 dom and propensity (sx o r g e e ) that a mother 
 gives tht breast to her child ! 
 
 1 John iv. 10. Our love is not the cause 
 or foundation of peace of conscience; but 
 peace of conscience, grounded on the know- 
 ledge of God's love, is the spring and origin 
 of our love to God and man ; and this love 
 in us is the surest proof of vital faith. 
 
 Let others' conttmpt of mt, and the evil 
 which I obstrve in such a disposition, be a 
 strong call to me not to despise them. 
 
 I( I was to read Si. Paul's description of 
 charity for a thousi<nd yt ars t<jgeihtr, I a iiid 
 not get one property of it into my heart. Be- 
 fore charity Cciii flt^w t ut oi it,asfrf »m a spring, 
 God must fir&t cast the salt of the Spirit into 
 it. 
 
CHARITY, 277 
 
 Memornndum. 1 o have no controversy 
 (if posbibit) with any one but myself. 
 
 Let who will die of those who are near and 
 dear to me, i shall slill have enough left to 
 Jove and be tenderly concerned for, whilst 
 there '.\vt men upon earth. 
 
 Why sliouid . cause uneasiness to others 
 by reasoning orreproaches, however just, un- 
 less it be their spiritual good; and when it 
 can have no other c fleet but to inflame tlieir 
 passions, provoke their ill-will, and disturb 
 the frame of my own mind. 
 
 Thank God for entrustingme with money 
 to give, and much more for a will to give 
 it. Woe be to rne if 1 keep back any part 
 of it. 
 
 Can I, in this time of dearth, keep back a 
 single sixpence from him who shed every 
 drop of his blood for me ! Surely I have sin 
 enough already, and m^ore than I well know 
 how to think will be forgiven. 
 
 Fear seldom does the whole of what is to 
 be done ; and besides, is unsteady. No- 
 thing but love carries a man tlirouj^h vvi^h re- 
 solution; and you may as well build a he use 
 on a wave of the sea, as love on any thing 
 but faith in the peace of God. Fear forbears 
 more than acts, and both imder the lash ; 
 love has wants of its own, to fly to all good 
 and from all evil. When we have said all 
 we can it is better to do something in fear, 
 than nothing without it» 
 
 The difference between carnal and spirit- 
 
278 THOUGHTS ON.RELICICN, hc, 
 
 ual love is, that one is convergent, the other ' 
 divergent ; one is drawn to a point, like the 
 rays in a burning glass, the other is diffusive, 
 like the rays of the sun ; one is partieular and 
 exclusive,' the otlier is general, equal, and 
 impartial. 
 
 If there was but one person in the world 
 whom I knew to be the creature and work- 
 manship of God, and all the nst made by 
 cliance, how greatly should 1 think of that 
 person's nature and original, and how ready 
 should I be to help hini in all his necessities, 
 for the sake of the divine impression he 
 bears, and great dignity of relation ! Behold. 
 O man, diou art placed in a world of such 
 beings ; all the offspring of God, dear to him 
 as his children, thy brethren by the same 
 high birth, and every one of them demand- 
 ing thy love, esteem., and utmost compas- 
 si( n. 
 
 The man who vrants me, is the man I 
 want. ^lemorandum. To do my duty to^* 
 c\ try one I come in company with, and pay- 
 Christ some part of the debt I owe him, 
 *' take care of him," for Christ's sake, and 
 with a feeling of his bowel . 
 
 God intends we should be happy, and 
 cannot approve of any thing in us but what 
 h. s a tendency to make us so. Hence the 
 necessity of a free obedience from a root of 
 love ; for all force is misery. 
 
 l! I consider how Gcd loved me, who can 
 be coo wicked for me to love? To a be- 
 
hesignatiom. 279 
 
 liever, every distressed object is Christ's pe- 
 remptory demand, or hill in sight, written 
 ^\lth his blood, for so much help, or such a 
 sum, as the case requires. 
 
 Let others say and do what they will, I 
 iniist love. The obloquy, or ill usage of 
 others, is my opportunity Tor self-inspeciion ; 
 and I mi convinced by a late occurrence, 
 how much more happy / might have been 
 all mv life in a spirit of love. Not one of 
 its proper tits set down in 1 Cor. xii. must 
 be wanting. 
 
 To love mankind, knowmg what they are, 
 can he nothing but the work of omnipotence, 
 and of God m man. I shall never love all 
 mankind as I ought, till I hate mysdf. 
 
 CHAP. XL 
 RESIGNATION. 
 
 SUBMISSION to theVill of God, with 
 .-^perience of his support in pain sickness, 
 affliction, is a more joyous and happy state 
 than any degree of health or worldly pros- 
 
 ^^Hewho bad no sin, suffered for all sin; 
 
280 THOUGHTS 0^ RELIGION, &C. 
 
 ■yvell may I, who have so much, and laid so 
 p.eavy a load upon him, be content to buffer 
 A Uttle for my own. Lying awake all night 
 " — there is no sleep in hell. Rev. xiv. 11. 
 
 I ste God in every thing ; in pain 1 it el 
 him ; and know he is come ncur to me upoii 
 some gracious dessigi^. I never have so live- 
 Jy a stnse (A thi being, presence, and good- 
 .jiiess oi (^od,as in pam, sickness, and suffer- 
 ftm^ ; it puts me upon thinking, and 1 cannot 
 ftA oid coming to this conclusion, that it is 
 onlirined by his inmiediate will, and that he 
 iloes it in mercy. 
 
 luateiid of repining at bodily disorders, 
 thvAii lv.>»w many have mucli greater, and hov/ 
 to be th.iiiklul both for those you have and 
 h;r- e not. P .in, affliction, &c. is only God's 
 speaking louder. 
 
 The stranguary is a messenger sent from 
 hea\en, to warn me home, to reconcile me 
 to the thought of death, and prepare me for 
 a hyppy reception into another world. 
 
 In pain, sickness, trouble, methinks Ihear 
 God saying, Take this medicine, < xactly 
 suited to the case, prepared and weight d by 
 my own hands, and consisting ol ihechoictst 
 drugs which heaven affords. 
 ^ If I w^as left to myself, I should never 
 think of crucifying sin with the stotie and 
 stranguary as God does. Tne stranguary 
 has not done its work yet by far. 
 
 Say, my heart, with respect to the stone, 
 ': i am unworthy of this mercy : Lord, let 
 
RESIGNATION. 281 
 
 it be more or less painful, and the means of 
 death sooncT or later, as thou pleas-. st, only 
 make it a means of thy grace to me." 
 
 If the cross should be laid upon me, it' 
 %vill come assuredly to my relie' : i nd I must 
 be destitute of grace, and dead to all con- 
 sideration, if I do not regard it as a help, 
 and an especial mercy vouchsafed in a time 
 of great danger. 
 
 A cold north wind. — Have patience with 
 God. 
 
 If my heart and will were given up to 
 God, stone, gravel, stranguary, &c. would 
 be well endured, and death come with a 
 smile OR his face.* 
 
 If I am afRicted, or sick, or weak, or in 
 pain, let me not comfort m}self chiefly with 
 thinking that it will quickly be over, or that 
 I shall soon be well, but rather with thinking 
 and knowing that it is the appointment of 
 divine wisdom ; for reasons of infinite con- 
 cernment to myself, ard for the < nd which 
 God has chiefly in view lor his pecjple in all 
 his inflictions, viz. the glory ol his name in 
 their spiritual health and recovtr} ; and ^ 
 blessed support it will be, to know and leel 
 that I do not so much dc sire east- and de- 
 liverance from present trouble, as grace and 
 strength to undtrgo more and greater, and 
 
 * Mr Dirracor, a valuabte mnis'^r f>f W^-ttmg' . m in. 
 Somersetshire He cliefl of tht st .ne, full of j( y in Clirjst. 
 The tormt nf of ihe stone wis s" gr- ;"»- 3lkviat,d, t' at 
 iti his last moments Ik said tr» h s fri. n>ls, wh '>it<.od aruutid 
 hinij *» Js this dying ? »Tis "♦• vv, *lis so ea£j'.*» 
 
 Aa2 
 
HB2 THOUGHTS ON REtlCXON, 8cC, 
 
 even death itself, quietly, obediently^ in tlie 
 spirit of fliith, and with fuil acceptance of the 
 •ivill of God. 
 
 This whole life is a state of labour and 
 suffering, in ordtrr to our purification, and 
 not of enjoyment, either tt.nporal or spirit- 
 ual. 
 
 I believe no man is obliged to sell all he 
 has, &:c. because Christ gave such a conl- 
 iuand to one person, any more than he is 
 obliged to sacrifice his son, because God 
 commanded Abraham to do so; and}et, 
 doubtless, these were wrhtenfor our instruc- 
 tion, that we might be ready .dways to obey 
 the severest calls of Providence ; a matter 
 of no small difiiculty, and which we ii finitely 
 deceive ourselves and others in. t is a 
 common thing ibr people to say, God's will 
 be done, without one grain of sincerity or 
 true resignation. 
 
 It is one point of happiness, and perhaps 
 the highest we can attain to, to know and be 
 fully convinced that at the best we are but 
 poorly qualified for it ; and therefore must 
 not expect it in this life. The generality of 
 mankind create to themselves a thousand 
 needless anxieties, by a vain search alter a 
 thing that never was, nor ever will be found 
 upon earth. Let us then sit down content* 
 ed with out lot ; and in the mean time be as 
 happy as we can in a diligent preparation for 
 what is to come. 
 
 The worid is so constitutoJ, thut obe- 
 
RESIGNATION?. 283 
 
 dience to the commands ol God is impossi- 
 ble, without taking up the cross daily ; but 
 thtn, they who are imwilling to take up the 
 cross, explain away all the trying commaiids 
 of the gospel, and that of the cross in the first 
 place. 
 
 If any thing, though ever so dear, is ta- 
 ken from me by the order of Piovideiice, I 
 have no longer any interest in it, or business 
 with it. I'he cloud is taken up, (Numb, ix, 
 17.) and my station is fixed for some other 
 place. God is now in the abst n<:.e and pri- 
 vation of it, and il ever I find him it must be 
 there. 
 
 It is our duty to bless God for the mea- 
 sure of grace we have, and to rest satisfied 
 with his appointment in spirituals as well as 
 temporals. Every degree of real grace is 
 his gilt, and the work of the Spirit, who di- 
 videth to every man severally as he w^ill ; 
 and to be thankful for lower degrees of 
 grace, notwithstanding the most ardent de- 
 sires and longings aiu r the highest, is per* 
 haps the t'uest and as well as most difficult 
 kind of humility and resignation. Rom. 
 xiv. 
 
 Christ is a refiner's fire, Mai. iii. We 
 eould like well enough to come and w arm 
 ourselves at this fire ; but the business de* 
 pends upon Ix ing thrown into it. 
 
 Be not disturbed for trifles. By the prac* 
 fice of this rule we sh< uid come in time t<^ 
 Hiiiik mobi things too uifiuig to disturb us. 
 
284 THOUGHTS ON rvELIGl-ON', hc. 
 
 Till I niikv", thr )ui^h £>;race, a full and free 
 surrender of mv^cif, my ht^art and con- 
 sckiice, whole state and being to God, in 
 simplicity and sinceriry, his will for my sil- 
 V jtion and recoveiy c .naoc take place in nu *, 
 I shall not be steady a moment in the prac- 
 tice of hoiinrsss. 
 
 The higlu-st angels are at an infinite dis- 
 tance from the knowledge of God ; and 
 therefore, there must of necessity be always 
 som-'thing in his nature and acts, mysterious 
 even to them : wh) then should not \vc be 
 content with our darkness, and submit to 
 live by faith here, when we must do it to all 
 eternity ? 
 
 How can T be happy but in God ? And 
 how can I be in God with a will contrary to, 
 or but indifferent to his? No qviiet in the 
 spirit till we settle upon this basis of rcst and 
 s itisfaction ; acquiescence in the will of 
 G ) I ; contentediiess under the accidents of 
 life ; patience with the humours of ail about 
 us, and a cheerful submission to the demands 
 of the present hour. 
 
 God, who knows my state, and the dan- 
 ger ' am i!i, sends p lin to w irn me of it, to 
 m'lke me dread sin more than pain, and to 
 thmk how I shall ever be able to endure re- 
 medil<"ss, everlasting pain. 
 
 SufF.riig is an excellent preacher, sent 
 immedi itely from heaven, to speak aloud in 
 the nam: of G>d to the heart, mini, and.- on> 
 SQicace, and hu^i saved many a soui, whextf 
 
.AE SIGN ATI ON, 285 
 
 humanly speaking, nothing else could. li it 
 wub iiot lor p.ji), I bhouid spend Itbb tune 
 Wiih God, 
 
 W'c m y have some faint wish, and pc r- 
 iiaps real de.^ire, to lie irted Ironi hn» ; but 
 not in God's way of -t broken, contrite heart, 
 or some grievous suffering. 
 
 In a lit of the choJic — Death frees from 
 all sin ; eases ot all u^oubles ; ckars up ail 
 mistakes ; and is a full answer to all my pray- 
 ers 
 
 If 1 had not been kept awake with the 
 tcoth-ache, I should have lost a lively acting 
 of faith, and one ol the sweetest experiences 
 I ever had in my life. 
 
 The will ol God may put me to pain ; but 
 it is the will of God. 
 
 Joseph seems to have been at the hrigh^t 
 of periecticm v/hen lie TCoiottd ih^^ s<jiicita- 
 :tions of Potfpher's vvife ; but if he had not 
 w.aUed some farUier refinement, God would 
 never have sent him to prison. 
 
 If Mr. North's writings should be lost, 
 TiOd the 500/. I have depending upon them, 
 it will be my own fault if I do not make it a 
 step towards heaven, and receive more ad- 
 , vantage and comfort trom the loss than I 
 .could from the money. The writiiigs may 
 not be lost ; and ii tliey are, the money may 
 >be- safe. But if it is not, am i sale, as to 
 my inward disposition, in a pure resignation 
 i^ tile wiAi o> God, .to give and take as he 
 
^6 THOUGHTS ON RELICTON, 8cC. 
 
 plcast^s? and am I sensible that a rriiicii 
 greater cross is wanted ? 
 
 The disorder of niv body is the very ht}p 
 I Wcint from God ; and it' it does its work 
 before it lays me in the dlist, it will raise m^e 
 up to hf.-avcn. 
 
 In affliction see the necessity of it, and be 
 hAimbie; see the ust- of it, arid improve it ; 
 see the love there is in it, and be ihnnkiuL 
 I know of no greater blessing than health, 
 except pain and sickness. 
 
 U \vc reflect on the exceeding sinfulness, 
 desert, and horrible curse of sin, as repre- 
 sented in the dreadful consequences of the 
 first mun's iin, and the necessity of Christ's 
 death, how comparatively light is all we suf- 
 fer for our own multiplied transgressions, 
 especially considering that suffering is a cor- 
 rective as wdl as a pt^nisament ; and that, 
 in the worst of troubles, we have this hope 
 to support US', that there is a redemption 
 from all sin by the blood of Christ. I know 
 this is but a thought, and, without God, will 
 work no effect. 
 
 In the paroxysm of pain or prospect of 
 death, I can uo more reason myself into a 
 state of perfect submission and tranquility, 
 than I can think the stone out of m.y body. 
 God's- patience is that which he requires and 
 gives, extends to every thing, and holds out 
 till death. 
 
 Why. should any man complain, or think 
 
RESIGNATION. 287 
 
 his lot hard, when he has a God to live with, 
 and order all his affairs in this world, and to 
 do so when he dies ? 
 
 I find it hard to bear and be contented 
 with the disposal of .Providence in temporal 
 things ; but much harder to bear my Vvant 
 of contentment, \\ iih perfect resignation to 
 the will of God, and be as poor in spirit 
 as I am poor in reality-. 
 
 Query. Whether it is not a high degree 
 of holiness in a man who sees and laments 
 his sin, and feels it as the heavieet of all bur- 
 dens, to bear it patiently, and with a submis- 
 sion to the divine w^ill as he would any other 
 atffliction, till God is pleased to remove it ? 
 
 Tliere is no coming to God but through 
 pain : no matter how, if we do but come to 
 him. 
 
 I am a cow poorer, a thought richer : if I 
 do not give more, God will take more away. 
 
 God be thanked that \ do praj^ though 
 but poorly. 1 will complain to none but 
 God, and never of God. However I am 
 crossed, or whatever • suffer, God does me 
 no wrong ; intends me no hurt, designs my 
 good ; i may well be patient, I must do 
 nia'e ; there is obligation in the case, I must 
 be th mkful. 
 
 Blessed be God for all his favours, and 
 p;irticularly for the special mercy of the 
 ston--. 
 
 We are always thinli'u^ we should be 
 bater with or without such a diing ; but if 
 
288' THOUGHTS ON R'-LICION, &C. 
 
 we do not steal a little content in present cir- 
 ca nnstances, there is no hope of any other, 
 
 Ii is our duty to bear the disorders of the 
 rnind, as well as those of the body ; feeling 
 both, applying proper remedies, and sub- 
 mitting quietly to the will of God. 
 
 Whatever God is pleased to do with me, 
 in me, for me, blessed be his will, if God 
 gives me patience, and quiet submission to 
 his will, in the want of what I pray for, he 
 givts me enough, and more than I ask. At 
 all events let the will of God be mine, in 
 spite of nature, reputation, ease, or worldly 
 interest. 
 
 -Real heart-felt submission to the will of 
 God in pain, sickness, crosses, every thing, 
 nevtr was the work of a man's own spirit ; 
 and when it com^-s from above, in answer 
 to praver, is full amends for all we can suf- 
 fer. 
 
 I have just so much godliness as God 
 gives me, and no more ; audit is a necessary 
 but hard part of religion, to be contented' 
 and thankful, whether it be much or little, 
 ]f this thought does not keep m,e humble' 
 ahd dependent, drive me to prayer, arid 
 iTiuke Christ all in all to me, I know not!' 
 what will. 
 
 God does not regard what he makes us 
 suffer, if he can but keep us out of hell.^— 
 \\ hrn I am in pain, I have a strong convic- 
 tion of my obligation to Christ for deiivenng 
 me froni eternal pain. 
 
HESIGNATIOK^ 289 
 
 When pain come s, God comes. Welcome 
 pain. Wi sliouid bear pain better, ii vvc cid 
 not incnabc it by imjxttiv nee, or apprehension 
 of the issue, and suffer nothing hut (he p.jn. 
 
 God's will is blessed, and, whether it be 
 for or against me, must wait patiently, and 
 receive ail as a gift ; for l find i can do no- 
 tliir.g. 
 
 Bear a l^te cross, as from God, and yoti 
 will be pnpand for a heavier, and have him 
 be a'ing with you. 
 
 Come what will, God does me no harm. — 
 If God has given me Christ, what hive I to 
 compl.inof; and how sh uld I welcome 
 the disease, or decay, vvhich is sent to se- 
 cure him to me, and bring me to him 1 
 
 Whether soap and lime-water will cure 
 the ston< , I know not ; I am sure the s^)ne 
 will cure me. The stone is an a; swer to my 
 pra\ ers. 
 
 It is hard to bear crosses, bui harder *o 
 bear with my own impatience. ind yet if 
 God is not pleased to deliver m<* fr- ni it. up- 
 on my endeavour and prtyer, wh it can be 
 m<»re a duty dian submission in the case, es- 
 pecially as 1 have Jesu^ Christ to ih urk him 
 for ? 
 
 When pain comes, I can hardly ihink of 
 any thing but God ; when I ^m at ease, the 
 heart returns to its bent, the world resumes 
 its place in it, and God leaves me. 
 
 God consults my interest in every thing, 
 not me ; and thougli I know he cannot be 
 fib 
 
2^0 THOUGHTS ON" RELIGION, &C. 
 
 mistaken in what he does, I find it hard to 
 give my consent to it. 
 
 When pain comes, it seems as if it was 
 reached out to me by the himd of an angel 
 who IS come post with it frcnn heaven ; glad 
 of the office of administering to my safety 
 and improvement ; rejoicing in the love of 
 G<jd towards me, and calling upon me to 
 join with him in blessing God for it. 
 
 God is always with me, though f am not 
 with him ; and because I do not advert to 
 his presence, he sends pain to introduce, and 
 even force me into his company. 
 
 — In the stranguaryv— If ever I am to 
 come to sell-knowledge, to repentance, to 
 Christ, to God, this is the way pointed out 
 to me to a clear light shining upon it from 
 htav(n. 
 
 What would thousands and ten thousands 
 give to be no more in pain than lam? — 
 What I suffer would be perfect ease to them. 
 
 I never have such a lively and full convic- 
 tion of my weakness and absolute depend- 
 ence upon God, as in^ pi.in or sickness. Ac- 
 quiescence in his blessed will, choice of what 
 he 'liooses for me, and thankfulness for the 
 J)., cy, I know to he my duty, and would 
 gi.dly work this disposhion in myself, but 
 fii»d, by repeated experitnce, that have no 
 more power over my mind than 1 have over 
 my body. 
 
 E} pi 1 God drives me to prayer, teaches 
 me what prayer is, and inclines me to pray. 
 
RESIGNATION. 2,91 
 
 It is a sore trial to the soul to be deprived 
 of ail earthly comforts, and reduced to the 
 necessity of living upon God. 
 
 No man, let him be ever so great a s:iint, 
 resigns himself to God's method of cure in 
 sulfering, with the same choice, confidence, 
 and fuhiess of consent that he would put him- 
 self into the hands of a surgeon to be cut for 
 the stone. 
 
 If we do not propose to ourselves the 
 same end in suffering which God does, self- 
 knowledge and the purification of the heart, 
 it must necessarily be without effect. 
 
 Because I trifle \vith my soul, and do not 
 enter resolutely into a process of mortifica- 
 tion, God in mercy takes the matter into his 
 own hands, and sends pain to do th:it for 
 mc, which i am not willing to do for mvseif. 
 
 God sometimes will not let me sleep, but 
 keeps me awake to catechise me ; and is al- 
 ways ready with some new instruction and 
 conviction. 
 
 Not a bit too much pain ; with God's help 
 I can think so from my heart, take it patient- 
 ly, and bless him lor the mercy of it. 
 
 When : suffer most, I will comfort myself 
 with thinking that 1 might, and that many do 
 suff' r more ; and that nil I can suffer is not 
 only much less than I deserve, but ordained 
 in mercy as the means of my eternal happi- 
 ness. 
 
 Trouble is the engine in God's hands to 
 lift us up to heaven. 
 
29-2 THOUGHTS ON RFLICTON, ScC. 
 
 What can 1 not buir vvhh the help ol God ; 
 "Whi.t (!isn I do or bitff r without it ? 
 
 'i'ht: very ponit and tc^p ot rcbignalioii, is 
 to submit (|uittly to the leuding oi Goci m 
 the want ot btnsible suppoii and condc^rt. 
 
 Tl.L pain ol p. in is inipatii n*..t ui dv r it, 
 ar.d appn h< nsion ot its c:oi liiuiancc or con- 
 st outiiCts; it nigh, bt ^Jrti.u\ alltvLtcd, 
 it uc adverted oni\ to iht prtstnt time, and 
 civ.! -. oiiidd to it iht burdcn(;t to-nu^rrow. 
 
 Puin comes for puiiibnmtnt r<im purifica- 
 tion ; th'- onr I am sure I dtsuxt, and h..ve 
 gr> at c: use to Jtm ent the Siowness and im- 
 p r(ection of the (jiher. 
 
 f chabiis<:ni< nt is a token of God's love, 
 •uh\ bhouid I taint undtr it, or so much as 
 desire ri It ase from it, till it hc-s doni its 
 \\ON ? I naisl suiTcr i:n(i die ; with die hcip 
 • of God i wiii suller and die. 
 
 CHAP. XIL 
 PHAYER. 
 
 I HAVE great hope from the promises 
 made to prayer that 1 biiun Ugiii tu jive be- 
 fore I die. 
 
?ilAYER« 293 
 
 What is the meaning of prayer, hut ihat 
 God would do what we cannot ; imd how 
 vainly do we ask the help which we du not 
 think we want ? 
 
 The loss of prayer is the greatest of all 
 losses ; and yet how many prajers art n n- 
 dered fruitless, if not turneo' into sin, ihi c^ugh 
 ir.cittention, levity of spirit, unbe!i( f, inMcnsi- 
 bility of want, or greater desire of something 
 else in the heart. 
 
 No man need be miserable or unhelrf d, 
 so long as there is a way open to the throne 
 of grace. 
 
 If we pray at all, we must be poor, help- 
 less, and resigned ; neither thinking w^e have 
 already what we ask, or that we can gi\ e it 
 to ourselves, or setting a time, or prescribing 
 a measure to God. 
 
 Nothing is more easy than to say the words 
 of a prayt r ; but to pray hungtring and thirst- 
 ing is the hardest of ail wT)rks. 
 
 What more need to be said of prayer, 
 tlian that it brings God into the heart, and 
 keeps sin out ? 
 
 " Ask, and it shall be given you :" I ask, 
 therefore it is givtn me. The consequence 
 hi infallible ; only let God choose the time 
 and manner of giving. 
 
 Pniying with the heart, for the heart, is 
 praying by the spirit, whether with or with- 
 out a form. 
 
 No true prayer is lost, though we may 
 have lorgoiit. 
 
 Bb 2 
 
294 THOUGHTS ON HKLIGION, &C, 
 
 Blessed be God, I do not only begin to 
 pray when I kneel down, but leave not oft 
 praying when I rise up. 
 
 Ail prayer is hypocrisy and snd deceit, if 
 we do not ask what God would have Ub lo 
 ask, and really desire what we ask. 
 
 We can have i.o grat e or spiritual supply 
 without asking ; and whatever we think of 
 ourselves, or say to God, we cannot act 
 without felt w ant, and rtral desire. Of those 
 that do pray, how few pray Irom their own 
 sense, or any particular knowledge of their 
 own circumstances. 
 
 Acquiescence in the bare act of prayer, is 
 a most dangtrous delusion, and keeps the 
 soul from its proper relief. 
 
 God, give me what thou knowest to be 
 good, and thou alone knowest what is good ; 
 give me more than I can ask or think : if the 
 reverse of what i ask is what I should ask, 
 give me that ; let me not be undone by my 
 prayers* 
 
 Many pray not to be kept from sin, but 
 to keep it; and with a secret hope that 
 prayer wiH excuse it, and be accepted in- 
 stead of reformation. 
 
 God does not want our praises : but the 
 dispositior^to praise him is essential to our 
 own happiness, and therefore required. 
 
 1 put my prayers into Christ's hands : and 
 what may I not expect from them, when I 
 bave buoh aii advocate ? 
 
PRAYER. 295 
 
 Prayer is living with God ; and is found- 
 ed upon right principles of religion, puts iis 
 upon searching the heart, leads us to the 
 knowledge of our wants and wccikness, -nd 
 fixes us in dependence up( n God : nothing 
 is more easy, as a bare duty or iip-strvicey 
 and nothing more difficult than »he ptriiTm- 
 ance of it in truth and sincerity. 
 
 Prayer is knowing work, believing W(;rk, 
 thanking work, searching work, humbling 
 work, and nothing worth if heart and hand 
 do not join in it. 
 
 There is abuiidant comfort in the thought 
 that God has given me a desire, and will 
 to pray for the blessings of Jesus ; wht th- r 
 with greater o^ less fervour at the time of 
 praying, it matters little as to the event : I 
 may repose myself quietly on his word, in 
 full assurance that there will be a perform- 
 ance pf all his promises, in life, death, and 
 eternity. 
 
 The great mistake of prayer is, not praying 
 as poor and destitue creatures, but thinking 
 that we are and have already in some good 
 degree what we pray for. See a notable in- 
 stance of this in Lord B con's prayer. — 
 Tattler, No, 267. The Liturgy is formed 
 upon a different plan, and puts us on a better 
 method. 
 
 Be sure not to ask a litde of God. 
 
 h is a great mistake that prayer is lost, or 
 nothing but formality, because we do not 
 fiiiu comfort in it, or any immediate effect 
 
21)6 THOVGUTS ON RFLIGION", hc. 
 
 frjni it, or pray with bo much fervour as we 
 CO a id wii.h. 
 
 Wt arc en the wrong side of pra\er till 
 We have a iiveiy sense (jf our coiiditum in 
 sin, und an cofivinccd by selt'-knov.ledgc of 
 the neeesbity of redemption Irum the guilt 
 and power (3f it. 
 
 it ib a sad mistake in religion to acquiesce 
 in the form of prayer, without obtaining, or 
 desiring to obtain wliat is asked. 
 
 h is an easy work to oifer up many pray- 
 ers to God ; but who ahnost offers up him^- 
 self to him ? 
 
 W€ are apt to suppose that nothing is a 
 return to prayer but the ver) thing we ask ; 
 but if there is a better v/ay of granting our 
 requests than we think of, it is well for us 
 that God v/iil not choose the worst. 
 
 We eat for bodily strength, and for 
 strength to labour. So the spiritual life 
 must be renewed and maintained by continue- 
 al supplies of grace, to the end we may per- 
 form tlie service we owe to God. The con^ 
 sequence is, we must pray at kast as often as 
 we eat. 
 
 All power of spiritual renovation is from 
 God; and it is a fatal mistake to look for it 
 in ourselves, or in books, the scriptures not 
 excepted. One prayer is worth a thousand 
 fine thoughts. 
 
 Let your prayer be short, and think a long 
 timt- before you beg^in, what you are going 
 tX) sa} , and what you mean by it ; that is, te 
 
FHAYER. 297 
 
 apcik plainly wIil ihtr you would he taken at 
 yt..;r word, and put to the pain ol having your 
 pra\crs answered. It wouki be death to die 
 gcneriUty even of those who. appear on die 
 side of rehgion, to receive or be what they 
 pFciy for. 
 
 When I pray, it is for a moral impossi^ 
 bility, and for as great a miraciC, as il i vwis 
 to say, *' sun, stund still." I shad mvcr K-ve 
 G')d and hate sin as I ought, dll pra\ bet- 
 ter. 
 
 Want felt, and help desired, with faith to 
 obtain it is prayer ; and without these quali- 
 fications, whatever is called so, is nothing 
 but self- deceit and 1} ing to God. 
 
 We shall never be Christians till we think 
 as we pray, and always curr\ die same hum- 
 bling seniini' nis about us, as if we were on 
 our knees before God. 
 
 J can expect no good tfTcct iVoni my 
 prayers, till ■• know what I arn, aia! do not 
 pray above my state, or think m. re highly of 
 it caid of myself than I ought to think ; but 
 jiit down in the lowest room, as 1 we!i may 
 wiih<;ut any fear of mistaking my place. 
 
 't seems to me that the first thing wc 
 shouid pray for is a sense of our wants, with 
 IV wiii aud desire to pniy according to thcrri. 
 
298 THOUGHTS ON RELIGION, &C. 
 
 CHAP, XIIL 
 SAGRAMENT OF THE LORD'S SUPPER, 
 
 AT the time of receiving — Lord, I here 
 appeal to thy sacrifice against tny sin, to thy 
 grace against my corruption, to thy love 
 apTiinst my fears, to thee against myself. I 
 believe thy word ; I remember ihy com- 
 mand ; I adore thy goodness ; I wait for thy 
 salvation. Give efflrct to thine own ordinance 
 and make it the seal of mercy, and the con- 
 veyance of life to me. O Jesus, come to 
 my hciirt. 
 
 J go to the sacrament for mercy, and 
 strength to k^ep mercy ; to profess my faith 
 in Christ, that I have pardon and peace with 
 God, life and righteousness only by his death 
 and merits ; and to own my obligation to 
 live unto him that died for me, in faith, love, 
 and self- dedication. I go to the sacrament 
 for Christ's love and likeness ; for the bene- 
 fit and for the munition of the cross ; to have 
 the load of sin taken from my heart; and any 
 other which Christ thinks fit, laid upon my 
 back . 
 
 Was pardon, salvation, and life received 
 m the sacrament ? Did 1 bid an eternal fare- 
 
SACRAMENT OF THE LORD's SUPPER. 299 
 
 well to sin ; and have I the poison of it ex- 
 pelled by the virtue of Christ's body and 
 blood ? 
 
 I go to the sacrament to leave sin behind 
 me, and receive Christ instead of it ; and if 
 I do the one, laying my sins on Christ, with a 
 will to forsake them, 1 am sure of the other. 
 Lord, grant me th}' peace, and all that conies 
 with it, love, patience, resignation, thankful- 
 ness, deliverance from the fear of death, and 
 a hearty longing for eternity, 
 
 I go to the sacrament for the pardon of 
 sin, for the kindling of love, for the turning 
 of my heart, for the renewal of my v» ni. 
 
 i do not go to the Lord's table to give, but 
 to receive ; not to tell Christ how good I 
 am but to think how good lie is, I have a 
 great many sins and wunts to tell him of, 
 more than would take up the whole day ; and 
 wh^n I have told him all th.it I know of my- 
 self, it is not the half^ but a very little of 
 what he knows of me. I bring myseif, diat 
 is sin, to him, believing that he will bt all to 
 me, and do all for me that is in his heart ; 
 and know it is a very compassionate one. 
 I go as a SHiner to a Saviour. To wJiom 
 else should I go, widi my blind eyes, foul 
 leprosy, hard heart, and rebeliious will ?Yoii 
 tell me I must have I know not how many 
 graces and qualiiicdtions to go to the sacra- 
 in( nr with ; bui I cannot stay for them ; my 
 warns are uii^cnt; I am a dying man. Ivly 
 Lord, with his own kmduess, says, *' come ; 
 
500 THOUGHTS ON" RELIC lOK, &C. 
 
 d(j this ; remember me." His invitation is 
 qiiatiiication enough ; and i long to teed on 
 him, to thank God for him, to take him in- 
 to my heart. '' will go to behold him cru- 
 cified, and his blood poured out for me, m 
 spite of all my sins and fears ; and though all 
 the saints on eardi stood up with one mouih 
 to forbid me, I go to put myself under 
 Christ's wings, and to fly to him for reiuge 
 from the monster sin, ready to devour me. 
 
 i go to the sacrament to know God and 
 myself; to wonder at the reconciliation of 
 strict punibhment with free pardon ; to see 
 the greatness of my sin, and the greatness of 
 my hope, in the greatness of the sacrific^^ 
 therein represeiited ; to sin no more, because 
 ] b' iieve there is no condemnation ibr my 
 si.i ; to be raised as high as heaven, and hum- 
 bled in the dust; to be astonished at the 
 mystery ol" Christ crucified, and to profess 
 that I know less of God ihaii ever. 
 
 Let me be daily thinkujg of the sacrament, 
 daily in a state of preparation for a, daily 
 living upon it, resolving to secure my p(ir- 
 tion in the love therein txhibite^d, by nceiv« 
 ii;g it in faith and humility, as love and unde- 
 served mercy, making it my ptttern, and 
 dreading the sin which could be expiated 
 with no less a sacrifice. 
 
 ** Do this in remembrance of me ;" — re- 
 member who I am, and what thou art ; re- 
 member me as thy Saviour ; remember me 
 as thy master ; remember mv love ; remem- 
 
PASTORAL OFFICE. 301 
 
 .hy obligations ; remember me as hating thy 
 sin ; remember me as bearing thy sin ; re- 
 xnember me and fear not; remember me and 
 sin not ; remember me to live for me, by 
 me, with me. 
 
 The day before the sacrament. Knowing 
 and assuredly believing die promises of God 
 inade over to me for the forgiveness of my 
 sins, through faith in the blood of Christ ; 
 1 do from a detestation of my sinfulness, and 
 a hearty sense of my w.nt of pardoning 
 grace, accept his covenant of rest and peace : 
 trusting in him lor the accomplishment of 
 my whole salvation, in the way of gospel- 
 hoiiness, by his Spirit ; and resolving with- 
 out delay to put myself into his hands for 
 that purpose. And may the God of mercies 
 keep me steadfast in this faith and engage^ 
 ment, and carry me on from strength to 
 strength that I may be one with him, and 
 with my Saviour, and live for him, and love 
 him with all my heart, and with all^my souL 
 
 CHAP. XIV. 
 
 PASTORAL OFFICE. 
 
 I MUST, T must incur the hatred of my 
 parish and hearers, in love to them, and for 
 cc 
 
302 THOUGHTS ON RELISICN, kc. 
 
 Christ's sake ; but let me be infamouSj so 'I 
 may but do good. 
 
 Ruling slothfulness in a minister of the 
 gospel, is a certain mark of infidelity, or an 
 unregenerate state. 
 
 Let no man think he is qualified to seek 
 and to save that which is lost, as an agent 
 under Christ, till he hcts first found himself. 
 
 A clergyman, if in truth he is a follower ' 
 of Christ, must not expect to have any 
 friends in his parish but Lis converts ; the 
 rest will despise, envy, and traduce him more 
 than they do other men. 
 
 How much better would it be if, instead of 
 .ce^^iuring, and bitterly inveighing against the 
 ignorance, perverseness, and corruption of 
 my neighboirrs, I exerted myself in good 
 earnest, according to -he duty of my station, 
 and the talents which God has given me, to 
 instruct and reform them. .Perhaps, many a 
 one has long been waiting at the pool of 
 B( thesda for some friendly hand to help them 
 in, and I pass by them with a stupid uncon- 
 cern, and leave them groaning under iheir 
 misery. 
 
 There is but one right w^ay of pr caching, 
 which is to speak the plain truth of the gos- 
 pel plainly ; but then this way is the hardest 
 of all others, for it supposes conversion in 
 the preacher. 
 
 It is the business of a minister of the gos- 
 -peito preach faith and live morality. 
 
 1 find it very difficult, it not impossible 
 
TAoTORAL OI'FrCE. 30-3 
 
 tfvrou,2:h my sellibhiRs.s, to sink myself into 
 th c.mimnn mass of mankind, so as to tuke 
 my fuii share ot their guilt, to sympa'liiz-, to 
 pit . to liave a fellow-feeling of their wants; 
 joys and sorrows, and be truly concerned tor 
 the temporal and spiritual wellare of all. 
 
 How glorious a distinction for any man to 
 be employed, as an agent under Christ, in 
 the recovery of souls ; and what giirlt not to 
 attend upon it out of pure love to him, with 
 the same ardour and asj>iduity that other 
 physicia^ns do for their fees ! 
 
 Hov/ cim those preachers be supposed to 
 bring others to Christ who never came to 
 him themselves ? 
 
 We are greatly deceived m fancying that 
 discernment, or approbation of moral excel- 
 lence, is possession, or ability to possess 
 ourselves of it. The Christian religion goes 
 another way to work with us, and those 
 preachers wretchedly mistake their office, 
 and abuse their hearers, who spend all their 
 discourses in recommending virtue to their 
 notice and esteem ; without leading them to 
 the Voot of their disorder, and pointing out 
 the cure. 
 
 What would a physician, who had a sove- 
 reign cure for all diseases, be accounted, if he 
 kept it a secret, or was slothful in dispensing 
 it, or mixed poison with it ? How much 
 more criminal is a minister of the gospel, 
 Avho thinks himself entrusted with an infalli- 
 ble m.edicine for all the disorders of the soul, 
 
304 THOUGHTS ON fiELlGION, ^C. 
 
 if he adulterates it. or is unfaithful and inac- 
 tive in appi} ii .^ it? 
 
 I may conscientiously take the wages for 
 the work, when have a distinct conscious- 
 mss thdt 1 would do^ the work uithout the 
 "Wii^es. 
 
 To relinquish, or intermit parochial. la- 
 b< i(r,btciiuseit is not atitndedwith success, 
 y^i uid b* terribly inexcusable. Labour on ; 
 Cf Dtmit the matler to God ; wait patiently ; 
 gcf <\ feeling of the bowels of Christ ; and^ 
 di- praxing, *' Lord, pity the people !" 
 
 I'he declarations ol scripture concerning 
 the guilt of sin, and the damnation of sin- 
 ners, may be assented to ; but are fully and 
 eftJcacioLisly believed by few. Hence laint- 
 ness of endeavour to snatch others out of the 
 nrc ; cold prayer, speaking, preaching, and 
 writing, without real pity and heart-felt con- 
 cern. . 
 
 *' But we will give ourselves unto prayer 
 and the ministr} ol the Vvord." Remember 
 this, O my soul, it is for eternity. 
 
 A poor country parson, fighting against 
 the devil in his parish, has nobler ideas than 
 Alexander had. 
 
 As a minister of the gospel, ' must either 
 be despised or hated. choose the latter. 
 
 Am a minister of Jesus, with his bowels 
 for souls ! called ! willing to be spent ! re- 
 gardless of worldly preferment ! owned of 
 God ! hated of men ! happy in myself! 
 
 Intrusion into the ministry for worldlj 
 
HEAVEN. 305 
 
 ends, and with absolute unfitness for it ; in 
 p^reat ignorance of Christ ; e^reat unconi eni 
 for the salvation of souls ; consequent s^oth 
 and remissness ; squandering a large in' ( me 
 in sensual pleasures ; and when n:;s sonie- 
 thing awakened, doing what I did in self- 
 dependence and self-seeking — How awlul! 
 Dreamed that J. M. and S. E. were under 
 soul concern. I interpreted it as a call lo go 
 and speak with them. But what shall 1 say 
 to J. for not speaking more to him, and to 
 ill others, without a dream ? 
 
 CHAP. XV; 
 HEAVEN. 
 
 iMY heaven upon earth is communion 
 with God ; and therefore nothing else would 
 be my heaven in heaven. 
 
 We shall never know any degree of hap- 
 piness in this life, till we are settled in a clear 
 conviction of judgment, that it is chiefly 
 hereafter, and tliat we are in the way to it. — 
 God forbid 1 should ever think myself at 
 home till : am in heaven. 
 
 Heaven is not a place or state of idleness. 
 cc 2 
 
306 THOUGHTS ON R^'LIGION, &C* 
 
 Perhaps the highest angels have a task and 
 v/ork assigned them, which keeps them con- 
 tinually employed. What is considered as 
 greatness and happiness on earth is, having 
 nothing to do. 
 
 Happiness will be the necessary result of 
 gospel holiness, when external impedi- 
 ments are removed; but heaven itself v/ould 
 loose its nature if the inward disposition- 
 were wanting. 
 
 Our future existence will be the same 
 kind of life, or state of being continued^ 
 which we are fixed in here. Death makes 
 no alteration in our condition, it only clears 
 up our mistakes about it. 
 
 Thankfuhiess and happiness imply each 
 other. We must be tliankful to be happy, 
 and happy to be thankful. God's house is 
 an hospital at one end, and a palace at the 
 other. In the hospital-end are Christ's mem- 
 bers upon earth, conflicting with various dis- 
 eases, and confined to a strict regimen of his 
 appointingc W^hat sort of a patient must he 
 be, who would be sorry to be told that the 
 hour is come for his dismission from the 
 hospital, and to see the doors thrown wide 
 open for his admission into the presence ? 
 
 Nothing can be our happiness in this life, 
 but what is to be the foundation of it in the 
 next. If I cannot serve God and my Sav- 
 iour with delight, and make a ki'd of heaven 
 of it here, they have no other heaven lor me 
 ^ereafter^ 
 
H£AV£!x. • 307 
 
 We shall never know the thousandth part 
 of our mercies, deliverances, and protec- 
 tions, temporal and spiritual, till we come to- 
 another world. 
 
 In heaven, sin known and pardoned is ths 
 sonc^ of praii^c ; sin known and unnardoned 
 is hell. 
 
 If ever I thank Christ as I ought, it must 
 l>e in heaven ; it is in vain to tlunk of doing 
 it here. 
 
 Heaven is heaven rallier as a state of ex- 
 emption from sin than s.ufFtring. We must 
 die for perfect conformity to the will of God ; 
 and it is worth dying for. 
 
 Delight in the w ill of God is the perfection 
 of all intelligent beings, the essence of hap- 
 piness, the joy of angels, heaven upon earth, 
 and the heaven of heaven. 
 
 Heaven is whatever God is ; in my heart, 
 if I desire it, and delight in his pr(rsence. 
 
 Ten thousand years in this world would 
 laot complete my happiness ; I should never 
 be wise and good, have an absolute com- 
 mand of my w^ill, passions, and affections^ 
 without one irregular thought, vain wish, or 
 spot of sin. If we are really aiming at and 
 longing for this perfection, how desirable is 
 death, which alone can can put us is posses- 
 sion of it ? By death, we do not go out of 
 life, but into life. 
 
 The Christian's hope of heaven is the 
 sweetness of prosperity, and the support of 
 adversity, and cures us at once of all at- 
 
308 THOUGHTS ON REIIGION, &C, 
 
 tachment to the wurlcl, or expectation of rest 
 in it. 
 
 If Christ had not brought down lieaven to 
 us, we could never have raided ourselves up 
 to it. 
 
 This world is the reign of darkness, pain,- 
 and sorrow ; and we must not exptct liilly 
 to find Gc;d lure as a present portion. The 
 Christian believes that lie shall knr>v/ hi^ 
 better, and enjoy him fully hereafter. O my 
 soul, hold fiist, and be very thankful for this 
 sweet hope. 
 
 "Let us labour to enter into that rest.'' We 
 like the rest, better than the labour of attain- 
 :ng it ;• but cannot so much as have an idea 
 of it, if we do not think it worth all the la- 
 bour we can bestow upon it. 
 
 It is a vain thing to think we can take any 
 delight in being with Christ hereafter, if we 
 care not how little we are in his company 
 here. 
 
 The highest state of the greatest saint up-- 
 on earth, is only a small taste oi' glimpse of 
 heaven, in the first fruits and earnest of the 
 Spirit. The full harvest is beyond the 
 grave, and is not to be expected in this world. 
 
 When I can truly say, " thy will be done 
 on earth as it is in heaven," I shall long to be 
 in heaven, that I may do it perfectly. 
 
 What is the reason that we do not keep, 
 our eyes steadily fixed on the light of scrip- 
 tare, and follow it as our guide to heaven,. 
 but because we do not really think of heaven: 
 
u-s the coiMitry we are bound to ; have yet 
 oikr designs in the world than to get thith^ r, 
 and whatever we- pretend, do not dcbire to 
 be there ? 
 
 I long to know something, and be some- 
 thing i. e. to die. I see the glory and bf au- 
 ty of perfect holiness, as Moses did iht pro- 
 mised land from Mount Pisgah ; but iike 
 him, must die without entering into the p js- 
 session of it. 
 
 '* Thy will be done on earth as it is in 
 heaven ;" thit is, with angelical love and 
 liking, and the full bent of our desire to it. 
 A virtuous, pure, holy state is a strong ten- 
 dency to all good, and only to good ; and if 
 we could suppose the mind to be in a state 
 of suspense or indifference, and equally 
 poised betw^een good and evil, it would be a 
 biid state. What then is man with a natural, 
 and morally invincible, propensity to evil ? 
 
 Unless I see something beyond the grave 
 worih dying for, there is nothing on this 
 side worth living for. 
 
 How welcome will death be to those who 
 truly mourn for sin, feel the burden, taste the 
 bitterness of it, and long for complete deliv^ 
 craiice from it ! 
 
10 THOUGHTS OV RELIGION, 8cc. 
 
 CHAP. XVL 
 
 MISCELLANEOUS. 
 
 ' THE commandment is holy, and just, and 
 good ; not only in its prectpt, but curse. — 
 The first is evident, anddenitd by none ; the 
 latter is never beiitved but by a work of the 
 Spirit. 
 
 Let us talk no more of the constitution of 
 this or that country, and the excellence of 
 one above another ; it is in every man's pow- 
 er, thr )ugh ,s^race, to live under the best go- 
 vernment in the world. 
 
 We may put on difierent clothes, and dif- 
 ferent looks ; speak different words, and do 
 different actions on a Sunday, hut nature will 
 be the same that it is all the rest of the week. 
 Sunday, in our rest fr^ m bodily labour and 
 employmenti in the thoughts it sugiiests. the 
 prospect it opens, the hope it confirms, is a- 
 day taken from time, and made a poriion of 
 eternity. 
 
 Dreams indicate the temper of the soul 
 more certainly than they do the temperament 
 of the body. Dreams have no dissimuhw 
 
lion ; they unmask the heart, and tell mc 
 honestly what I am when waking. 
 
 A (breed ol:>€dience will not make us hap- 
 py m this world, but may not be lost as to 
 another. 
 
 Hell is truth seen too late. 
 
 What is it to me whether the Americans 
 are in a state of rebellion or not ? Why do I 
 not advert more to the rebellion of my own 
 heart and will ag linst God ? 
 
 A partial. hcJf- religion is a state of terrible 
 anxiety. 
 
 Why is man for ever searching after pre- 
 tences to wander from home ? Fixing the 
 laus of motion; measuring the pidiKts; 
 prying with glasses into the minutest j>..ris of 
 nature ; and either gazing with stupid won- 
 der on what he can nt ver understand, or, 
 what is worse, circumscribing Omnipottiice, 
 and saying, *' Thus it must be,^' when all 
 the while the poor soul within him, buried in 
 flesh and blood, wants its proper relief, begs 
 his attention, and, being known, would hifi- 
 nitely reward his curiosity ? 
 
 h' we do not live down error, I am sure 
 we shall never dispute it do^vn. 
 
 The eager reading even of religious books 
 may be dangerous, and a hindrance to those 
 who are aiming at the true spirit of religion, 
 if thev have recourse to them instead of God. 
 
 THE ENB. 
 
I 
 
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