FRANCES E. BENNETT. DUKE UNIVERSITY LIBRARY Treasure "Room THE COLERIDGE COLLECTION #mntana, OR HORJE OTIOSIORES VOL. II. LONDON: PRINTED FOR LONGMAN, HURST, REES, ORMEj AND BROWN, PATERNOSTER ROW. 1812. IV Popk, Printer, 6T, Chancery Lam, CONTENTS OS THE SECOND VOLUME, 170 Seat of Courage , 171 *Sensibility 172 *Text Sparring 173 * Pelagianism . . 174 *The Soul and its organs of Sense 175 * Sir George Etherege, &c. . 176 * Force of Habit . , 177 * Phoenix 178 * Memory and Recollection . 179 *Aliquid ex Nihilo ♦ 18,0 Stone Ships » i 181 Carp . . . 182 Instinct , . « 183 Adipocire . » 184 Beer and Ate . * Pag4 1 % 4 6 20 20 30 & ib. $1 32 34 35 St \ & 1 Q *| o IV CONTENTS. 185 Te Franciscum 186 The Glib 187 Chess * 188 The Ass at the Meeting 189 Religious Epigram . 190 The Holy Fire 191 Beards .... 192 The Plague 193 Alva . 194 Anglesea Beef 195 Amphibious Fish 196 Triumphs and Trophies of Cookery, to be used at Festival Times, as Twelfth Day, &c. . . 197 Snails . , .. 198 Spectral Flowers . 199 Merino Sheep 200 Gigantic Bird . . -# 201 Tarring and Feathering , 202 Rondelle . . 203 If ... : 204 Capt. Thomas James, of Bristol 205 * Brevity of the Greek, and Engliih com- pared . . 206 Dancing . . . 207 French-English . % , 208 Irish Gambling 209 Joachim du Bellay ' . 1 210 Eclipses .... 211 Valentine Gretrakes CONTENTS, 212 Henry More's Song of the Soul 213 Quaker Preaching . 214 Hats 215 Ship Bottoms preserved by charring 216 Odour of Heresy . 2d7 Anguinurn 218 Mistranslations . 219 The Stigmata . « 221 James I . 222 Sir Thomas Overbury 223 Meteorolithes 224 West's Immortality of Nelson 225 Tirante el Blanco . 226 The Emperor Maximilian 22T Biography 228 Greek Erudition . 229 Tinder from Wormwood 230 Propagation of Sound 231 Opinions of the Edinburgh Review con- cerning War 232 Wild Beasts 233 Longevity 234 Souls of Brutes 235 Columbus 236 Limbo . 237 Blood Showers 238 Ottar of Roses 239 Poison of Serpents . 239 Lord Chief Justice Holt 240 Colour of the Autumnal Leaves 263838 ti CONTENTS. S41 242 Philosophy of the Bramins . Glow Beast Tagt 269 269 243 Busaco . . 279 244 245 246 Ophites . Judas JLnys de Escobar • » 4 • 28T 291 24>i OMNIANA. 170. Seat of Courage. In the last and fatal battle, when Arthur was mortally hurt, and all his knights perished, the old king Agui- sans especially distinguished himself, et fist tant de proesse que tous sen esmer- veillerent dont telle proesse venoita Vhomme de son age, car ja estoit vieil etancien : mats ce luy venoit du grant couraige que il avoit au ventre, Lancelot du Lac f p. 3, jf, 157» VOL. II. b 2 OMNI AN A. Every body knows where the seat of honour is, and I have seen the pineal gland handed round upon a saucer at an anatomical lecture, as the seat of the soul: — "Seat of the soul, gentlemen; that is supposed to be the seat of the soul." But this is the first time I ever found it affirmed that the seat of courage is in the belly. 171. Sensibility. In an obscure and short-lived periodi- cal publication, which has longsince been used o/Fas " winding sheets for herrings and pilchards/' I met with one para- graph, which deserves preservation, as connected with public evils in general, as well as more particularly with a subject noticed in the former volume*. " There is observable among the many, a false and bastard sensibility, prompting them to remove those evils and those alone, which disturb their enjoyments by being * No, 160, page 317. OMNI AN A. 3 present to their senses. Oilier miseries, though equally certain and far more terrible, they not only do not endeavour to remedy •, they support them, they fatten on them. Provided the dunghill be not before their parlour-window, they are well content to know that it exists, and that it is the hot bed of their luxuries. " To this grievous failing w r e must at- tribute the frequency of war, arid the long continuance of the slave-trade. The merchant found no argument against it in his ledger ; the citizen at the crowded feast was not nauseated by the filth of the slave vessel ; the fine lady's nerves were not shattered by the shrieks. She could sip a beverage sweetened with the product of human blood, and worse than that, of human guilt, and weep the while over the refined sorrows of Werter or of Clementina. But sensi- bility is not benevolence. Nay, by making us tremblingly alive to trifling b 2 4 GMNIANA. misfortunes, it frequently precludes it, and induces effeminate and cowardly selfishness. Our own sorrows, like the princes of Hell in Milton's Pandaemon- iam, sit enthroned " bulky and vast :" while the miseries of our fellow-creatures dwindle into pigmy forms, and are crowded, an innumerable multitude! iiito some dark corner of the heart. There is one criterion, by which we may always distinguish benevolence from mere sensibility. Benevolence impels to action, and is accompanied by self- de- nial." 172. Text Sparring. When 1 hear (as who now can travel twenty miles in a stage coach without the probability of hearing !) an ignorant religionist quote an unconnected sen- tence of half a dozen words from any part of the old or new testament, and resting on the literal sense of these words the eternal misery of all who re- OMNIANA. 5 ject, nay, even of all those countless myriads, who have never had the oppor- tunity of accepting, this, and sundry other articles of faith conjured up by ihe same textual magic; I ask myself, what idea these persons form of the bible, that they should use it in a way which they themselves use no other book in ? They deem the whole written by inspiration. Well ! but is the very essence of rational discourse, i e. con- nection and dependency, done away, because the discourse is infallibly ra- tional? The mysteries, which these spiritual Lynxes detect in the simplest texts, remind me of the 500 non-de- scrip's, each as large as his own black cat, which Dr. Katterfelto, by aid of his solar microscope, discovered in a drop of transparent water. But to a contemporary, who has not thrown his lot in the same helmet with them, these fanatics think it a crime to listen. Let them then, or far rather, OMNIANA. let those who are in danger of infection 1 from them, attend to the golden apho- risms of the old and orthodox divines. " Sentences in scripture (says Dr. Donne) like hairs in horsetails, concur in one root of beauty and strength ; but being plucked out, one by one, serve only for springes and mares." The second I transcribe from the preface to Lightfoot's works. " Inspired writings are an inestimable treasure to mankind, for so many sentences, so man}' truths. But then the true sense of them must be known : otherwise, so many sentences, so many authorized falsehoods. 173. Pelagianism. Our modern latitudinarians will find it difficult to suppose, that any thing could have been said in the defence of pela- gianism equally absurd with the facts and arguments which have been adduced in favour of original sin ( f aking sin as guilt ; i. e. observes a socinian wit,; OMNI AX A* 7 the crime of being born). But in the comment of Rabbi Akibah on Eccle- siastes, xii, ], we have a story of a mother, who must have been a most de- termined believer in the uninheritability of sin. For having a sickly and deform- ed child, and resolved that it should not be thought to have been punished for any fault of its parents or ancestors, and yet having nothing else to blame the child for, she seriously and earnestly ae« cused it before the Judge of having kicked her unmercifully during her pregnancy ! ! I am firmly persuaded, that no doc- trine was ever widely diffused, among various nations through successive ages, and under different religions, (such as is the doctrine of original sin, and redemp- tion, those fundamental as tides of every k. • n religion professing to be revealed) which is not founded either in the nature of things or in the necessities of our nature. In the language of the schools, 8 fcMNIANA. it carries with it presumptive evidence, that it is either objectively or subjectively true. And the more strange and con- tradictory such a doctrine may appear to the understanding, or discursive faculty, the stronger is the presumption in its favour : for whatever satirists may say, and sciolists imagine, the human mind has no predilection for absurdity. 1 do not however mean, that such a doc- trine shall be always the best possible representation of the truth, on which it is founded, for the same body casts strangely different shadows in different places and different degrees of light ; but that it always does shadow out some such truth and derives its influence over our faith from our obscure perception of that truth. Yea, even where the person himself attributes his belief of it to the miracles, with which it was announced by the founder of his religion. • MNIANA. 9 174. The Soul and its organs of Sense, It is a strong presumptive proof against materialism, that there does not exist a language on earth, from the rudest to the most refined, in which a materialist can talk for five minutes together, without involving some con- tradiction in terms to his own system. Objection. Will not this apply equally to the astronomer ? Newton, no doubt, talked of the sun's rising and setting, just like other men. What should we think of the coxcomb, who should have objected to him, that he contradicted his own system ? Answer. — No ! it does not apply equally ; say rather, it is utterly in- applicable to the astronomer and natu- ral philosopher. For his philosophic, and • his ordinary language speak of two quite different things, both; of which are equally true, in his ordinary language he refers to ai/act of appearance, to a phenomenon common and necessary to all persons in a given situation : in his b5 10 OMNI AN A. scientific language be determines that one position, figure, &c. which being supposed, the appearance in question would be the necessary result, and all appearances in all situations may be de- monstrably foretold. Let a body be suspended in the air, and strongly illu- minated. What figure is here ? A tri- angle. But what here? A trapezium, .. and so on. The same question put to twenty men, in twenty different positions and distances, would receive twenty dif- ferent answers: and each would be a true answer. But what is that one figure, which being so placed, all these facts of appearance must result, according to the law of perspective ? . . . Aye ! this is a dif- ferent question , . . this is a new subject. The words, which answer this, would be absurd, if used in reply to the former. Thus, the language of the scrip- tures on natural objects is as strictly philosophical as that of the Newtonian, &ystem. Perhaps, more so. For it is OM1SIANA. 11 not only equally true, but it is universal among mankind, and unchangeable. It describes facts of appearance, And what other language would have been consist- ent with the divine wisdom I The inspired writers must have borrowed their termi- nology, either from the crude and mis- taken philosophy of their own limes, and so have sanctified and perpetuated false- hood, unintelligible meantime to all but one in ten thousand ; or they must have anticipated the terminology of the true system, without any revelation of the system itself, and so have become unin- telligible to all men ; or lastly, they must have revealed the system itself, and thus- have left nothing for the exercise, deve- lopeinent, or reward of the human under- standing, instead of teaching that moral knowledge, and enforcing those social and civic virtues, out of which ihe arts and sciences will spring up in due time, and of their own accord. But nothing q£ this applies to the materialist ; he 12 OMNIANA. refers to the very same facts, which the common language of mankind speaks of: and these too are facts, that have their sole and entire being in our own consciousness ; facts, as to which esse. and conscire are identical. Now, what- ever is common to all languages, in all climates, at all times, and in all stages of civilization, must be the Exponent and Consequent of the common consci- ousness of man, as man. Whatever contradicts this universal language, there- fore, contradicts the universal conscious- ness, and the facts in question subsisting exclusively in consciousness, whatever contradicts the consciousness, contra- dicts the fact. Q. E. D. I have been seduced into a dry dis- cussion, where 1 had intended only a few amusing facts in proof, that the mind wakes the sense, far more than the senses make the mind. If I have life and health, and leisure, I purpose to compile (from the works, memciis, transactions, &c of the different philosophical so- OMNIANA. 13 cieties in Europe, from magazines, and the rich store of medical and psychologi- cal publications furnished by the English, French, and German press, all the essays and cases, that relate to the human faculties under unusual circumstances (for pathology is the crucible of physio- logy) ; excluding such only as are not intelligible without the symbols or termi- nology of science. These I would arrange under the different senses and powers: as the eye, the ear, the touchy &c. ; the imitative power, voluntary and automatic ; the imagination, or shaping and modifying power; the fancy, or the aggregative and associative power ; the understanding, or the regulative, substan- tiating, and realizing power; the specula- tive reason , . .vis theorefka et scientific a, or the power, by which we produce, or aim to produce, unity, necessity, and univer- sality in all our knowledge by means of principles* a priori ; the will, or practi- * This phrase, a priori, is in common most grossly misunderstood, and an absurdity burthcned on it waicfc 14 0MN1ANA. cal reason; the faculty of choice (Ger* manict, Willkiihr,) and (distinct both from the moral will, and the choice) the sen- sation of volition, which I have found reason to include under the head of single and double touch. Thence I pro- pose to make a new arrangement of madpess, whether as defect, or as excess of any of these senses or faculties; and thus by appropriate cases to shew the difference between, I, a man, having lost his reason, but not his senses or under- standing — that is, he sees things as other men see them ; he adapts means to ends, as other men would adapt them, and not seldom, with more sagacity ; but his final it does not desGrve ! By knowledge a priori, we do not nv an that we can know any thing previously to expe- rience, which would be a contradiction in terms; but that having once known it by occasion of experience, (i. e. someiiing acting upon us from without) we then know> that it must have pre-existed, or the experience itself, would have been impossible. By experience only I know, that I have eyes; but then my reason convinces me, that I mnrtfaate had eyes in order f the experience, OINIANA. 15 end is altogether irrational. II. His having lost his wits, i. e. his understand- ing or judicial power; but not his reason, or the use of his senses. Such was Don Quixote ; and, therefore, we love and reverence him, while we de- spise Hudibras. 111. His being out of his semes 7 as is the case of an hypo- chondrist, to whom his limbs appear to be of glass. Granting that, all his con- duct is both rational (or morah and pru- dent ; IV. or the case maybe a combi- nation of all three, though I doubt the existence of such a case ; or of any two of them ; V. or lastly, it may be merely such an excess of sensation, as over- powers and suspends all ; which is frenzy or raving madness. A diseased state of an organ of sense^ or of the inner organs connected with it,, will perpetually tamper with the under- standing, and unless there be ah energe- tic and watchful counteraction of the judgment (of which I have known more 16 OMNIANA. than one instance, in which the com- paring and reflecting judgment ha^ob- stinately, though painfully rejected the full testimony of the senses) will finally over-power it. But when the orgau is obliterated, or totally suspended, then the mind applies some other organ to a double use. Passing through Temple Sowerby, in Westmoreland, some ten years back, I was shewn a man per- fectly blind, and blind from his in- fancy ; Fowell was his name. This man's chief amusement was fibhing on the wild and uneven banks of the river Eden, and up the different streams and tarns among the mountains. He had an intimate friend, likewise stone blind, a dexterous card-player, who knows every gate and stile far and near throughout the country. These two often coursed together, and the people, here as every where, fond of the marvellous, affirm that they were the best beaters up of^ game in tue whole country. The every ©MN1ANA. 17 way amiable and estimable, John Gough ©f Kendal, is not oaly an excellent ma- thematician ; but an infallible botanist and zoologist. He has frequently at the first feel corrected the mistakes of the most experienced sportsman, with re- gard to the birds or vermin which they had killed, when it chanced to be a variety or rare species, so completely resembling the common one that it re- quired great steadiness of observation to detect the difference, even after it had been pointed out. As to plants and flowers, the rapidity of his touch appears fully equal to that of sight ; and the accuracy greater. Good heavens ! it needs only to look at him ! . . . Why, his face sees all over ! It is all one eye ! I almost envied him : for the purity and ex* cellence of his own nature, never broken in upon by those evil looks (or features, which are looks become fixtures) with, which low cunning, habitual cupidity, presumptuous sciolism, and heart-hard-* IS OMNIANA. ening vanity, caledonianize the human face, it is the mere stamp, the undis- turbed ectypon, of his own soul ! Add to this, that he is a quaker, with all the blest negatives, without any of the silly and factious positives, of that sect, which with all its bos^s and hollows is still the prime sun-shine spot of Chris- tendom in the eye of the true philoso- pher. When I was in Germany, in the year 1798, I read at Hanover, and met with two respectable persons, one a clergyman, the other a physician, who com firmed to me, the account of the upper-stall master at Hanover, written by Idmself, and countersigned by all Ins me.' 1 theua, as a make-weight. The scene might be entitled, "the different ways in which the very same story may be told, without any variation in matter of fact :" for the least attentive reader will perceive the perfect identity of the Foot- boy's account with the Frenchman's own statement in contradiction of it, SCENE IV. Scene, Sir Frederick's Lodging. FntCr Dufoy and Clark. Clark. I wonder Sir Frederick stays out so late. Duf. Dis is noting ; six, seven o'clock in the morning is ver good hour. Clark. I hope he does not use these hours often. Duf. Some six, seven time a veek ; no oftiner. Clark. My Lord commanded me to wait his coming. Duf. Matre Clark, to divertise you, I vill tell you, how I did get be ac- quainted vid dis Bedlam Matre. About VOL II. c 36 QM.-NIANA. two, tree year ago me had for my con- venience discharge myself from attend- ing [Enter a Foot boy] as Matre D'ostel to a person of condition in Pane; it 4iapen after de dispatch of my little af- faire Foot-b. That is, after h'ad spent his , money, Sir. Duf. Jan foutre de Lacque; me vil have de vip and de belle vor your breeck, rogue. Foot-b. Sir, in a word, he was a Jack" pudding to a Mountebank, and turned off for want of wit: my master picked him up before a puppit-show, mumbling a half-penny custard, to send him with a letter to the post. Duf Morbleau, see, see de insolence of de foot-boy English, bogie, rascale, you lie, begar I vill cutt£ your Troate. [Exit Foot-boy* Clark. He's a logue; on with your *tory, Monsieur. Duf. Matre Clark, I am your ver CmNIAfrTA. tl humble serviteur; but begar me have no patience to be abuse. As I did sajr, after de dispatehe of my Affaire, van day being idele, vich does produce de mellanchollique, I did valke over de new bridge in Pane, and to devertise de time, and my more serious toughle, me did look to see de marrionete, and de jack-pudding, vich did play hundred pretty tricke, time de collation vas come; and vor I had no company, I vas un- villing to go to de Cabarete, but did buy a darriole, littel custarde vich did satisfie my appetite ver vel: in dis time young Monsieur de Grandvil (a jentel- rnan of ver - great quality, van dat vas my ver good friende, and has done me ver great and insignal faveure) come by in his caroche, vid dis Sir Frolick, who did pention at the same academy, to learn de language, de bon mine, de great horse, and many oder tricke : Mon- sieur seeing me did make de bowe, and did beken me come to him : he did telle c 2 28 OMNIANA. me dat tie Englis jentelman had de Letr6 vor de poste, and did entreate me (if I had de oppertunity) to see de letre deli- ver : he did telle me too, it void be ver great obligation: de memory of de faveur I had received from his famelye, beside de inclination £ naturally have to serve de strangere, made me to returne de complemen vid ver great civility, and so I did take de letre and see it delivere; Sir Frol/ick perceiving (by de manage- ment of dis affaire) dat 1 was man d'esprit, and of Vitte, did entreate me to be his serviteur; me did take d'affec- tion to his persone, and vas contente to live vid him, to counsel and advise him. You see now de lie of de bougre de lacque Englishe, Morbleu. 175. When I was at Malta, there happened a drunken squabble on the road between Valette and St, Antonio, between a party 4)f soldiers, and another of sailors. They OMNIANA. 29 were brought before me on the next morning, and the great effect, which their intoxication had produced on their memory, and the little or no effect on their courage in giving evidence, may be seen by the following specimen. The soldiers swore, that the sailors were the first ag- gressors, and had assaulted them with the following, words — " D — n your eyes-! &c. who stops the line of march there ?'* The sailors with equal vehemence and unanimity averred, that the soldiers were the first aggressors, and had burst In. on them, calling out " Heave to, you lubbers! or we'll run you down." 176. Force of Habit. An Emir had bought a left eye of a glass eye-maker, supposing that he would be able to see with it. The man begged him to give it a little time: he could not expect that it would see all at once as well as the right eye, which had been for so many years in the habit of it. 30 OMNI AH A. 177- Phoenix. The Phoenix lives a thousand years, "a secular bird of ages :" and there is never more than one at a time in the world. Yet Plutarch very gravely informs us, that the brain of the phoenix is a pleasant bit, but apt to occasion the head-ache. By the bye, there are few styles that are not fit for something. I have often wished to see Claudian's splendid Poem on the Phoenix translated into English verse in the elaborate rhyme and gor- geous diction of Darwin. Indeed, Clau- dian throughout would translate better than any of the ancients. 178. Memory and Recollection. Beasts and babies remember, i. e. re- cognize: man alone recollects. This distinction was made by Aristotle. 179. Aliquid ex Nihilo. In answer to the Nihil e nihilo of the atheists, and their near relations, the OMNI AN A. 31 Anima-mundi men, a humourist pointed to a white blanj$ in a rude wood-cut, which very ingeniously served for the head of hair in one of the figures. 180. Stone Ships, When the Duke of Burgundy be- seiged Calais, in 1456, he invented the notable project of blocking up the har- bour with stone-ships, and sunk six vessels filled with immense stones which were well worked together, and cramped with lead. The experiment failed for this reason, that the Duke had forgot- ten to take the tides into his calcu- lation; so at low water the stone-ships were left dry, and the people of Ca- lais, men and women alike, amused themselves with pulling them to pieces, and hauling away the wood for fuel, to the great astonishment, the historian adds, of the Duke and his Admirals. Had this story found its way into the popular histories of England, this 32 OMNIANA. country would have been saved the disgrace of a similar folly, and the ninety thousand pounds which were wasted upon it. But it has been the fashion of modern historians to reject all the circumstances of history, and give only a caput mortuum of results. That a first lord of the admiralty should have read Monstrellet was not to be expected ; but it might have been expected that he would have known what the rise of the tide is at Boulogne. 181. Carp. This fish, not long after its intro- duction into England, found its way into the Thames " by the violent rage of sundry land floods, that brake open the heads and dams of divers gentle- men's ponds, by which means it became somewhat partaker of this commodity*.'* * Holinshed, Vol, l,p.8I* OMNI AN A> S3 I wish some such accident would stock our rivers with that beautiful creature the gold fish; or rather, let me wish that some reader of the Omni ana, who may have taken half the pleasure that I have done in walking by the side of the New River in Hertfordshire, and watching the motion of its inhabit- ants (without a rod in mv hand), may take the hint, and transfer some half dozen from a glass globe to one of the slow rivers of the midland coun- ties. It is well known hew slowly the carp multiplies in ponds. Izaak Walton ac- cuses the frogs of destroying them, but I cannot persuade myself to find a true bill against these poor perse- cuted Dutch nightingales, upon the evi- dence which he produces. The more certain solution is, that they devour their own spawn;, and this may be accounted for by the little room they have to range in search of food* Be— c 5 34 OMNTANA. sides, all creatures are, more or less, de- naturalized by confinement. I once saw a hen at sea, eating the egg which she had just dropt. The sight of the poor sea-sick poultry, in their miserable coops, is at all times exceedingly unpleasant: but I am not ashamed to say, that this seemed to me something shocking. They who have ever thought upon the mystery of incubation will understand the feeling. 182. Instinct. In Egypt, where they hatch chicken by artificial heat, a hen which has been hatched in the natural way sells for double the price of those from the oven, because the latter will rarely sit upon their eggs. This fact, which is one of the most important upon the subject of instinct, is mentioned in a " Non-Military Journal," written dur- ing our campaign against the French in Egypt, and attributed to General OMNIANA. 35 -Doyle, who is now serving in Spain. It shows that by this interference with the course of nature, the chain of in- stinct is broken. A drake, which had been hatched with a brood of chicken, was killed because it could not be kept from treading the hens. This is another fact, which, though it is partly expli- cable by other causes, is probably in a great degree to be traced to the same. 1 remember a singular instance of in- stinct, overpowered by example. A Turkey-polt, which had been hatched under a duck, and often stood trem- bling on the brink of the pond where its foster-brothers were enjoying them- selves in the water, one day by a des» perate effort of courage followed them in, and was drowned. 183. Adipocire, The nature of this substance must always have been known since men 36 OMNIANA. have been buried in church-yards, and grave-digging became a regular occu- pation. " In an hydropical body," says Sir Thomas Brown, e< ten years buried in a church-yard, we met with a fat con- cretion, where the nitre of the earth, and the salt and lixivious liquor of the body, had coagulated large lumps of fat into the consistence of the hardest Cas- tile soap." ( Hydriotaphia, chap. S.) A specimen, he adds, was in his own pos- session. But even a process by which this substance may be made, w r as ascer- tained by Bacon in his " Experiment Solitary, touching fat diffused in flesh." Sylva Sylvarum. No. 678. " You may turn (almost) all flesh into a fatty sub- stance, if you take flesh, and cut it into pieces, and put the pieces into a glass covered with parchment ; and so let the glass stand six or seven hours in boiling water. It may be an experiment of profit for making of fat or grease for many uses : but then it must be of such OMNIANA. S7 flesh as is not edible, as horses, dogs, bears, foxes, badgers, &c." This great author reminds me of Robin Hood : — many men talk of his works. It is odd that he should be so much more talked of than read ; be- cause Bacon would be fine food for those philosophers who have a taylor- like propensity for cabbage. 184. Beer and Ale. , Hops and turkies, carp and beer, Came into England all in a year. A different reading of this old distich adds reformation to the list of imports, and thereby fixes the date to Henry Sth's time. What was the difference between the beer then introduced into this country, and the ale of our ancestors ? There is a passage quoted by Walter Harris, in the Antiquities of Ireland, from the Norman poet, Henry of Araunches, in which the said Henry speaks with not- 38 OMNIANA. able indecorum of this nectar of Val- halla- Nesch quid Stiigi* momtrum conforms paludi Cervisiam pitrique wicdni; vii spissius ilia Dum bibitur, nil clarius est 4aw nwigitur, unde C$n$Lat quod multcs facts in ventre rclinquit. The first requisite of savage luxury is fermented liquor; refining it is the process of a more advanced stage. The Polynesians, like the Tupi tribes, drink their kava as thick as porridge. But Henry must have kept low company, if he never saw better ale than what he abuses, for the art of refining it was known at a much earlier age among the Northern nations. Mr. Turner, in his invaluable history of the Anglo-Saxons, quotes a grant of Offa, in which clear ale is mentioned, and distinguished from mild ale and Welch ale. In the laws of Hy wel Dda, two liquors are mentioned ;.. Bragawd, of which, tribute was to be paid by a free town-^ ship, (Villa libera) and Cwrwf, which OMNIANA. $Q was to bs paid by the servile townships (Villis servilibus); if the former had no .Bragawd, they were to supply a double quantity of Cwrwf; the relative value is thus distinctly marked. Wotton rea- ders the former word cerevisia aroma- titis; the latter cerevisia vulgaris ; but vulgaris he marks as an epithet added to explain the original text. Accord- ing to Mr. Owen, Bragawd or Bragget, is a very different liquor from ale, being made of the wort of ale, and mead fermented together; Cwrw is certain- ly at present good, clear, substantial ale, worthy of honorable and grateful mention from all who have drank it; a far better liquor than bragget can be ; though this indeed is a matter of taste, and bragget would be the costlier beverage. I am inclined to think that Cwrw would not have been thus dis- respectfully regarded in the Welch laws, had it been the same liquor then which it is now. Perhaps it was not fined. 40 OMN1ANA. That art may have, been brought by the Saxons, and this would explain tbe dif- ference indicated in OnVs grant. If the hop was introduced into the island only in Henry Sth's time, it can- not have been used before in the com- mon drink of tbe country. Ale, there- fore, seems then to have been made with malt alone, and consequently beeF was at that time a different liquor. This I see is confirmed by Fuller the Worthy, in bis History of Cambridge. " Erasmus, so he says, when he resided at Queen's College in that university, often complained of the College ale as raw, small, and windy : — Cervisia hujus loci mihi nullo modo placet :. whereby, continues Fuller, it appears,. 1st. Ale in that age was the constant beverage of all colleges, before the innovation of beer (the child of hops) was brought into England. 2d. Queen's College cervisia was not vis cereris, but ceres vitiata. In my time, when I was a member of that OMNIANA. 41 House, scholars continued Erasmus his complaint ; whilst the Brewers, having it seemed prescription on their side for long time, little amended it." (p. 87.) 185. Te Franciscum, u We praise thee O Francis ! we ac- knowledge thee to be our Patriarch. All the Earth doth worship thee, the Father Seraphical. To thee all Minorites cry aloud, the Heavens and all the corded families. To thee the Seraphic Martyrs and Cen- fessors continually do cry, Holy, holy, holy Standard-bearer of the Lord God of Sabaoth! Heaven and Earth are full of the mi* racles of thy grace. The glorious company of the Francis* cans praise thee ; The goodly fellowship of the Nuns praise thee ; The noble army of the Third Order praise thee ; 42 OMNIANA. The Holy Seraphic Religion through- out all the world doth acknowledge thee; The Father of profoundest humility; Thine honourable, true and Apostolic Institute; Also thy holy spirit of poverty. Thou art the Image of Christ the King of Glory. Thou art, as it were, the second Son of the Father everlasting. When thou tookest upon thee the Old Man thou didst not fear the severest suf- ferings of the Cross. When thou hadst overcome the sharp- ness of death, thou didst stand in the Sepulchre, and like one living, look towards the Kingdom of Heaven, Thou sittest on the Throne of Lucifer in the glory of the Father. We believe that thou shalt come to judgement with the Cross of the Judge. We therefore pray thee, help thy ser- vants whom thou hast gathered together with the precious blood of thy wounds. OMNIANA. 45 Make them to be numbered with the Saints in glory everlasting. Save thine Order of the Minors and bless thine inheritance. Govern them and lift them up for ever. Day by day we magnify thee. And we praise thy name, because thou hast obtained for us an Indulgence which shall endure for ever. Ask our Lord that he will vouchsafe to keep us this day without sin. O Father have mercy upon us, have mercy upon us. Let thy mercy lighten upon us as our trust is in thee. O Father, in thee have I trusted, ob- tain of the Lord that I may never be con- founded." This parody, which was published no far- ther back than 1733, under the sanction of the General and all the other authori- ties of the Order, and with the approba- tion of the Inquisition, is to be found at the end of the Primazia Serafica na ife- 44 OMNIANA, giam da America by Fr. Appollinario da Conceic,am, and is probably his work. It might serve as a & envoy to the famous Liber Conformitatum. I possess a copy of that extraordinary bookj the Bologna edition of 1590. It has a vignette at the beginning representing two arms nailed to one Cross, the right arm is that of Christ, the left that of St. Francis. 186. The Glib. Among the many fashions which have been devised of wearing the hair, that of the wild Irish is the most savage. u Their beards and heads, (says Stani- hurst*) they never wash, cleanse, nor cut, especially their heads ; the hair whereof they suffer to grow, saving that fome do use to round it, and by reason the same is never kembed, it groweth fast together, and in process of time it matteth so thick and fast together, that * Holiushed, Vol, 6. p. 828* OMNIANA. 45 It is in stead of a hat, and keepeth the head very warm, and also will bear off a great blow or stroke ; and this head of hair they call a glib, and therein. they have a great pleasure." It must however be acknowledged, that to a people who were often in danger having their heads broke, the glib was certainly a convenient fashion. Bulwer* was not aware of this when he included it in his invective against what he calls "superfluous crops of hair." " What emolument it can bring, (he says) none can see, unless it be to breed lice and dandro, after the manner of your Irish ; who, as they are a nation estranged from any human excellency, scarce acknow- ledge any other use of their hair than to wipe their hands from the fat and dirt of their meals, and any other filth; for which cause they nourish long felt locks, * Man transformed, or the Artificial ChaDgeling. 1654. 46 ©MNIANA. hanging down to their shoulders, which they are wont to use instead of napkins to wipe their greasy fingers." This ex- pression, long felt locks, well describes what their appearance must have been. They are represented in the prints to the curious Description of Ireland by Der- ricke, which Walter Scott has inserted in his edition of the Somers Tracts. 187. Chess. The King of Prussia and Marshal Keith played chess with soldiers, — the most innocent game they ever played with them. It had been done before them by Akber the Mogul. In a palace of his at Tuttahpoor his chess court is still shown, and the elevated seat from whence he di- rected the moves*. Mr Scottf describes SirGaheret's game with the Fairy, where « Hunter's Journey from AgEa to Oujein, AsiatU Researches, 8vo. edit. .Vol. 6. p. 76. f K«te to Sir Tristrem. p. 259. OMNIANA. 47 massive statues of gold and silver moved at the touch of a magic wand : but the adventure to which he refers in the Ro- mance who assisted at the council of Trent, and built the college of the Jesuits at Paris> had the finest beard that ever was seen- It was too fine a beard for a bishop, and the Canons of his Cathedral, in full chap- ter assembled, came to the barbarous resolution of shaving him. Accordingly when next he came to the choir, the dean, the prevot and the chant re ap- proached with scissars and razors, soap, bason and warm water. He took to his heels at the sight and escaped to his castle of Beauregard, about two leagues from Clermont, where he fell sick for vexation, and died. During his illness he made a vow never again to set foot in Clermont, where they had ofTered him so villainous an insult ; and to revenge himself he exchanged the bishopriek with cardinal Salviati, nephew to Leo X. who was so young that he had not a hair upon his chin. Duprat, however, re- pented of the exchange before his death, 54 OMNI ANA. and wrote to Salviati, quoting these lines of Martial : Sed tu nee propera r brevibu* nee crede capillis, Tardaque pro lanto munere barba venu. Telemacomanie. p. 22\ The author of this learned criticism upon the Telemaque has not explained why the Chapter of Clermont thought proper to persecute their Bishop's heard. If he was proud of its length, and took pleasure, like the Cid, in cherishing it> that at the worst was a venial offence, which should have heen settled between him and his Confessor. There is a female Saint, whom the Je- suit Sautel, in his Annus Sacer Poeticus, has celebrated for her beard, . . a mark of divine favour bestowed upon her for her prayers. Her day in the kalendar is the 20th of July, and the miracle is thus recorded in these Catholic Fasti. 5. Vuilgefortis Virgo, barba repente enjascenlis miracuto cast it at em tuetur. OMNI AN A. a.> Tirgineo metuens formosa pu Ha pudori, (Nam nitet eximio pulcherin ore decor:) Quotquot empyreo Superos agnorat Olympo His rogat > aut paribus supplice voce sonis; " O Superi, quibus est cura> virtutis honestas, " Quosque pius tangit virginitatis amor; «* Vos precor, ut nostro species abscedat ab ore, " Qua? solet infestos sollieitare procos. " Non ego deformes vetulaj cutis abnuo rugas, " Nee quae gibboio tubere terga tument. *• Nullum ego, Coelicolae, quodcumque est, respite* monstrum, ** Dum mens egregio cedat ab ore nitor." Audivere preces Superi, namque insita mento Hirsulis caepit crescere barba pilis. Spectantum insolitus prascordia perculit horror,. Seque fugit comitem jungere virgo comes, Abdicat et mater sobolem, soror ipsa sororem, Nee proprio nota est hispida Nata patri. At Virgo lajtatur ovans, dum turba procorum Excidit, optatis non fruitura suis. Namque vero ut propior facta est barbata Virag# Coepit ab impuro tutior esse viro» This was obtaining a beard speciali gratia. But there is said to be another way of producing one, which we recom- mend to the consideration, of ail Lady- 56 OMNIANA. metaphysicians. " Intense thought, (says a writer in the Lady's Magazine) spoirs a lady's features ; . . it banishes les ri&et fes graces which make all the enchant- ment of a female faee. I am not sure (he adds) whether in time it may not per- fectly masculate the sex ; for a certain woman,, named Phatheusa, the wife of one Pytheus, thought so intensely during her husband's absence, that at his return she had a beard grown upon her chin." Rabbi Solomon Duitsch owed his con- version to his beard. This Jew was re- markably affected by a text which per- haps never affected any other person. " Son of man, take thee a sharp knife; take thee a barber's razor and cause it to pass upon thine head and upon thy beard ; then take thee balances to weigh and di- vide the hair." Ezek. v. 1. u I could not but wonder (says he) why the Lord, who in the xixth of Levitictts had expressly prohibited the children of Israel from shaving the beard, should OMNIANA. 57 yet give so opposite a command to Ezek- iel, who was also a priest and a prophet I My wonder was augmented, when I re- marked that the prophet did not offer any objection to it, as he had done on another occasion, mentioned in the 4th chapter. While meditating on the sub- ject, I felt a strong impression on my mind, as if these words had been ad- dressed to me, as they were to the pro- phet. 1 wished to oppose and overcome it, but I had neither rest nor ease : I continually had this rebuke conveyed to my mind : How long wilt thou continue in subjection to the law ? How long wilt thou oppose the word of God r In great perplexity, I fell down on my knees, and sighing, said, c Lord! what wouldst thou have me do ? strengthen me to com- bat with my wicked heart, and enable me to deny myself, and do thy holy will.' I then took a pair of scissars in my right- hand, and a looking glass in my left, and* began to cut my beard with great quak- » 5 5S OMNIA FA. ing and trembling. It is indescribable? what I felt while £ was engaged in this Work ; so that I spent upwards of two hours about it. I then lay down for a little repose, and when I awaked my mind was so full of peace and comfort that I could most heartily thank the Lord for his powerful aid, which he had grant- ed to ine an unworthy creature." 192. The Plague. Antes has some remarks upon the plague which are well worthy the consideration of philosophical physicians. It always ceases in Egypt when the weather be- comes very hot; and extreme heat era- dicates it more certainly at Cairo, than cold abates it at Constantinople. " They are always (he sa} r s) pretty sure when the plague will cease, for it seldom remains after the 24th of June; this has given occasion to the following superstitious notions, not among the Turks only, but particularly among the Cophtic Chris- flans. They say, and firmly believe, that angels are sent by God to strike those people who are intended as a sacrifice. All those who receive the stroke must inevitably die, but those that re- ceive the infection through fear only es- cape or recover. When they feel them- selves infected, they say, anna matiub- bel cuppa! which signifies, I am struck, or smitten, by the plague. As the J7lh of June, according to the Cophts, is the festival of the Archangel Michael, on which day he lets a drop of water of such a fermenting quality fall into the river, as occasions its overflowings; they say thar, at the same time, he, as the chief of all the other angels, orders all those oc- cupied in striking the people to retire. The Cophts add, that if any of them should still lurk about in the dark alter that day, they must absolutely fly before St John on the 24th of June. A think- ing mind, though it acknowledges the hand of God in every thing, cannot con- (50 OMNIANA tent itself with reasons of this kind ; for God, who has all the elements and every thing in nature at his command, can em- ploy a thousand means to obtain his aim without working miracles. The natural cause of the plague ceasing at that time in Egypt is the great heat ; Fahrenheit's thermometer at that time standing gene- rally at 90 or 92 degrees in the shade. It has several times fallen under my own im- mediate observation, that vessels came to Alexandria from other parts of Turkey, with many people on board affected by the plague, after that period, but the in- fection never took, and even the patients who came on shore infected with that disorder frequently recovered." Observations on Egypt, p. 43. This very diffident, and yet very saga- cious Moravian observes, that " this has made him think whether the same de- gree of artificial heat, so as to occasion a constant perspiration, might not be of more benefit, even to those infected by CMNIANA* tot the disorder, than heating medicines ap- plied to the same purpose f" I smiled up- on reading this hi at, for I remembered a dream which might easily have tempted a Mahommedan physician to try the ex- periment. It stands thus in a diary or rather noctuary of dreams, which would have been exceedingly curious if the writer had not been as liable to forget them as Nebuchadnezzar, and without the advantage of having a Daniel to re- member them for him. " Dec. 15, 1806. I was reading in my dream of a Doctor Bocardo who had discovered a mode of curing fevers, by putting the patients in- to what he called one of his Burning: Hells. It was a place heated to the greatest degree that life could bear, and the extreme heat decomposed the mat- ter of the disease." The Friars de Propaganda Fide at Cairo, appoint two of their number to visit the sick and to administer extreme unction to those of their persuasion who 02 * OMNI AN A. ere dying ; and these visitors so seldom- die of the plague that they make a mira- cle of it. " The only piecaution they take, (says Antes, p. 47,) is to drink a great quantity of brandy, as much, and often more than they well can bear without dishonouring their profession. A Venetian Doctor, long resident at Cairo, never performed quarantine, and even visited people who were sick of the plague, but never caught it himself. His antidote was likewise to take so much brandy, that he was seldom free from its effects. Perhaps the increase of perspi- ration occasioned by the use of the li- quor might be the cause. It seems that brandy supplies in this case, what a great degree of heat would naturally do. A timorous person, who is in constant fear and apprehension, will be much more liable to have it. It is well known ihat fear acts the contrary way, and will pre- vent or obstruct perspiration." OMNlANA. 63 193. Alva. There was a report that the Sun stood still at the battle of Wittemburg. The King of France asked Alva, who com- manded the victorious army, whether it were true : his answer was, Sir, I had too m«ch to do upon earth, to have any lei- sure for looking at heaven. Vieyra. Serm. T. 5. P. 13.5* 194. Anglesea Beef, Anglesea Beef was more famous for- merly than Welsh mutton is at present. " The flesh (says Harrison) of such cattle as is bred there, whereof we have store yearly brought unto Cole fair in Essex, is most delicate by reason of their excel- lent pasture, and so much was it esteemed by the Romans in time past, that Colu- mella did not only commend and prefer them before those of Liguria, but the Emperors themselves, being near hand also, caused their provision to be made for nete out of Anglesea to feed upon at 64 ttMNlANA. their own tables, as the most excellent beef." Holuished, Vol. 1. p. 64. 195. Amphibious Fish. Among the number of odd things in New Holland, the amphibious fish is not the least remarkable. " We found (says Captain Cook) a small fish of a singula! kind ; it was about the size of a minnow, and had two very strong breast fr.js ; we found it in places that were quite dry, where we supposed it might have been left by the tide, but it did not seem to have become languid by the want of wa- ter; for upon our approach it leaped away, by the help of the breast fins, as nimbly as a frog ; neither indeed did it seem to prefer water to land ; for when we found it in the water, it frequently leaped out and pursued its way upon dry ground ; we also observed that when it was in places where small stones were standing upon the surface of the water at a little distance from each other, it chose OMNI AN A. 65 rather to leap from stone to stone, than to pass through the water ; and we saw several of them pass entirely over puddles in this manner, till they came to dry ground and then leap away." Cooks first Voyage y B. 3. Ch. 2. This probably explains a fact menti- oned by Capt. Percival in his account of Ceylon. " One circumstance (says that author) has often struck me with asto- nishment, that in every pond or muddy pool casually supplied with rain water, or even only recently formed, and en- tirely unconnected with any other water, swarms of fishes are continually found. The only explanation (he adds) which it appears possible to give of this pheno- menon is, that the spawn is by some un- known process carried up with the rain into the sky and then let down with it upon the earth in a condition immedi- ately to become alive." P. 318. These fish may be of the same kind as those which. Captain Cook observed in 66 OMMIANA. New Holland, . . a much more easy solu- tion of the apparent wonder than Captain Percival's hypothesis. Yet 1 have been assured that small fish have been found in India, after a shower, upon the roof of a house. The thing was affirmed so po- sitively that it could not be disbelieved without rejecting the direct testimony of one whose veracity there was every rea* son for believing; it certainly appears impossible, nevertheless it ought to be mentioned injustice to Captain Percival's opinion. The stories which are to be found also of its raining frogs, might have been quoted by that author as cases, in poinU 196. Triumphs arid Trophies in Cookery, to be used at Festival Times, as Twelth Day, fyc* " Make the likeness of a ship in paste- hoard with flags and streamers, the guns belonging to it of kickses, bind them about with pack-thread, and cover them with OMNIANA. 6f paste porportionable to the fashion of a cannon with carriages ; lay them in places convenient, as you see them in ships of war, with such holes and trains of powder that they may all take fire. Place your ships firm in a great charger; then make a salt round about it, and stick therein egg-shells full of sweet water ; you may by a great pin take out all the meat out of the egg by blowing, and then fill it with rose - water. Then in another charger have the proportion of a stag made of coarse paste, with a broad arrow in the side of him, and his body filled up with claret wine. In another charger at the end of the stag have the propor- tion of a castle with battlements, per- cullices, gates, and drawbridges, made of pasteboard, the guns of kickses^ and co- vered with coarse paste as the former ; place it at a distance from the ship to fire at each other. The stag being placed betwixt them, with egg-shells full of sweet water (as before) placed in salt. 68 O-MNIAKA. At each siJe of the charger wherein is the stag, place a pie made of coarse paste, it* one of which let there be some live frogs, in the other live birds ; make these pies of coarse paste, filled with bran, and yel- lowed over with saffron, or yolks of eggs : gild them over in spots; as also the stag, the ship and castle ; bake them, and' place them with gilt bay leaves on the turrets and tunnels of the castle and pies ; being baked make a hole in the bottom of your pies, take out the bran, put in your frogs and birds,'and close up the holes with the same coarse paste ; then cut the lids neatly up to be taken off by the tunnels. Being all placed in order upon the table, before you fire the trains of powder order it so that some of the la- dies may be persuaded to pluck the ar- row out of the stag ; then will the claret wine follow, as blood running out of a wound. This being done with admira- tion to the beholders, after some short pause, fire tlie train of the castle, that OMN1ANA. 69 the pieces all of one side may go off; then fire the trains of one side of the ship as in a battle ; next turn the chargers, and bv degrees fire the trains of each other side, as before. This done, to sweeten the stink of the powder, the ladies take the egg shells full of sweet waters, and throw them at each other, all dangers being seemed over, and by this time you may suppose they will de* sire to see what is in the pies ; when lifting first the lid off one pie, out skips some frogs, which makes the ladies to skip and shriek; next after the other pie, whence comes out the birds ; who by a natural instinct flying at the light, will put out the candles; so that what with the . flying birds and skipping frogs, the one above, the other beneath, will cause much delight and pleasure to the whole com- pany : at length the candles are lighted and a banquet brought in, the music sounds, and every one with much de- light and content rehearses their actions 70 OMNIANA. in the former passages. These were for- merly the delights of the nobility, before good house-keeping had left England, and the sword really acted that which was only counterfeited in such honest and laudable exercises as these." The book from which this account of the Triumphs and Trophies in Cookery has been extracted, bears the following title. The Accomplisht Cook, or the Art and Mystery of Cookery, wherein the whole Art is revealed in a more easie and perfect method, than hath been publisht in any Language. Expert and ready wayes for the dressing of all sorts of Flesh, Fowl and Fish ; the raising of Pastes ; the best di- rections for all manner of Kickshaws, and the most Foinant Sauces; with the Tearms of Carving and Sezving. Ah exact Ac- count of all Dishes jor the Seaso?i, with other A la mode curiosities. Together with the lively Illustrations of such neces" sary Figures as are referred to practice. OMNIANA. 71 Approved by the fifty years experience and industry of Robert May, in his attendance on several Persons of Honour, London, 1660. The terms of carving and sewing form a far more ample list than that with which Sir John Hill has favoured us in the character of Mrs. Glass. " Break that deer, leech that Drawn, rear that goose, lift that swan, sauce that capon, spoil that hen, frust that chicken, un- brace that mallard, unlace that coney, dismember that hern, display that crane, disfigure that peacock, unjoint that bit- tern, untack that curlew, allay that pheasant, wing that partridge, wing that quail, mince that plover, thigh that woodcock, thigh all manner of small birds.