DUKE UNIVERSITY LIBRARY Digitized by tine Internet Archive in 2015 Iittps://archive.org/details/practicaletiquet01klei PRACTICAL ETIQUETTE By N. C. TWENTY-TBIBD THOUSAND CHICAGO A. FI.ANAGAN CO. Copyright, 1899, By a. FI.ANAGAN PREFACE. The very extensive sale of Practical Etiquette, a sale that has required the is- suance of a large number of editions of the little manual, has been very gratifying to its author, as was also the commission of its publisher to re- write and enlarge the w^ork. This commission, however, brought with it a keen sense of responsibility, for the author feels that a new work on etiquette can find a 7'aison d'etre only in a fairly successful attempt at answering practically^ every ques- tion that can arise concerning social rela- tions, at least in ordinary social life. But to speak with authority on all matters of "good form" is to speak dogmatically, and so to speak is in itself not good form. Nevertheless, and in spite of this dilem- ma, the author has attempted herein to decide, when compelled to do so, between conflicting opinions in mere matters of social custom, and has given as authority the opinion that seemed to her to conform most nearly to common sense, embodying such opinion in an unqualified statement without citing authority. Fortunately, social customs are now so nearly uniform in all parts of the country, that one familiar with the ways of good society in the West or in the North, is at home in good society in the East or in the South. The author is under obligation to so many persons for suggestions and advice, as well as to many authors, that it does not seem best to give a list of the same, especially as such list could be only a partial one, for many of her friends would not desire men- tion of their names. N. C. Dec, z, 1899. CONTENTS. CHAPTER I. Introductions 7 9 Cards 15 Visiting 20 CHAPTER II. Notes of Ina^itation 21 Announcement Cards 26 Wedding Invitations 30 Acceptances and Regrets 32 Letters 35 Letters of Introduction 39 CHAPTER III. Dinners 41 Luncheons 44 Breakfasts 44 Teas 44 Receptions. 46 'Dancing Parties 46 Card Parties 47 Weddings 48 Wedding Gifts 52 Wedding Anniversari^ 53 CHAPTER IV. Conversation 56 Chaperonage 60 Marriage 62 Domestic Etiquette and Duties 64 CHAPTER V. Dress 66 GivOVES 69 S^RBET^ Etiquette 70 Travewng 73 BlCYCWNG 75 TeI/Ephoning 76 CHAPTER VI. The TABI.E AND Service at Tabi,e 79 Habits at Tabi,e 86 Servants and Serving 94 CHAPTER VII. FUNERAI^ 98 Mourning =.100 CHAPTER VIII. Politeness oe Young Children 102 SCHOOI.-ROOM Etiquette 108 CHAPTER IX. Oeficiai. Etiquette Ill CHAPTER X. Business Correspondence 113 Letters oe Appi^ication, etc 116 CHAPTER XI. General, Hints 124 INTRODUCTION. " True politeness is to do and say The kindest thing in the kindest way." If civil law is the outgrowth of regard for other people's rights, social law^ is equally the outgrowth of regard for other people's feelings and convenience. Social law is kindness and good- will and the desire to be agreeable codified. A system of so much importance cannot be unworthy of con- sideration. The very essence of good manners is self- possession, and self-possession is another name for self-forgetfulness. Gentility is neither in birth, manner, nor fashion, but in the mind. A high sense of honor, a de- termination never to take a mean advantage of another, and an adherence to truth, delicacy, and politeness towards those with v>7hom one may have dealings, are the essen- tial and distinguishing characteristics of a gentleman. Quietness in all things is an essential element to a w^ell-bred person. He shuns all outward display of his personality; he cares not to to be seen or heard; he eschew^s noisy and grandiloquent talk; he avoids 6 PRACTICAL ETIQUETTE. showy and noticeable costumes. His voice is low; his words simple; and his actions grave. He holds himself habitually under restraint; his words never seem to vibrate with emotion. Habits are said to be good or bad as the result of actions that are right or wrong. A man of good habits is one who has for so long a time practiced right thinking, speak- ing, and doing, that he acts properly from force of habit. Good manners are not to be put on for particular occasions, like fine clothes, but they should be one's second nature. The simpler and more easy and unconstrained one's manners, the more he will impress people with his good breeding. Affectation is o»e of ^h^ brazen marks of vulgarity. CHAPTER I. Introductions, Cai.i^, Cards, Visiting. "A beautiful behavior gives a higher pleas- ure than statues or pictures; it is the finest of the fine arts." — Emerson. INTRODUCTIONS. In introducing persons, one should be careful to pronounce each name distinctly. When either name is not perfectly under- stood, a repetition of it should be requested of the person making the introduction. When introductions are given, it is the man who should be presented to the woman; when two women are introduced, it is the younger who is presented to the elder.^ For example, in presenting Mr. Jones to Mrs. Smith, it is Mrs. Smith's name that is first mentioned. The word "introduce" is pre- ferred to ' 'present. " Informal introductions are given by merely mentioning the names; as, ''Mrs. Smith, Mr. Jones," and this is ordinarily sufficient. In introducing two sisters, the elder is "Miss Smith" and the younger "Miss Vir- ginia Smith." When two women are introducd to each other, it is not necessary for either to rise; a bow and a smile from each is sufficient. 8 PRACTICAL ETIQUETTE. A woman does not rise when a man is presented to her, unless he is very old or is a person of great importance. Upon being introduced, a married woman may offer her hand to a man but it is not customary for a young woman to do so. • It is the duty of a man who attends a private entertainment, to have himself pre- sented to every member of the family whom he does not know. An introduction in the street car is very bad form. One should never forget that it is diffi- cult, almost impossible, for some people to remember names and faces, and that such people actually suffer from their inability to recognize and call by name persons to whom they may have been introduced recently. It is not uncommon to see one approach such a person, offer her hand, and say, if there is not an immediate recognition, "I am afraid you do not remember me,'* while the person approached stands in agony, and gradually makes an apology for her poor memory, and asks the name. One who is truly polite, who is at all thoughtful for another person's feelings, would not be the cause of such a scene. She would prevent it by saying: "I am Mrs. Smith. I had the pleasure of meet- ing you at Mrs. Brown's luncheon last Thursday;" or something of the kind. PRACTICAL ETIQUETTE. 9 Whenever one has reason to think his name or face may have been forgotten, he should make himself known, in approaching another person, by giving his name at least.J CALLS. A first call ought to be returned within a very short time. A lady when receiving rises as her callers enter, and they immediately advance to pay their respects to her before speaking to others. A man takes any vacant chair, without troubling the hostess to look after him. A man rises when women with whom he is talking rise to take their leave. Women calling do not rise unless those who are leaving are friends older than themselves. When taking leave, one ought to choose a moment when there is a lull in the conver- sation, and then take leave of the hostess, letting one bow include the others in the room. One month after the birth of a child, a call of congratulation is made by acquain- tances. A call of condolence is made within ten days after the death, if the caller is on inti- mate terms with the family, or within a month if otherwise. 10 PRACTICAL ETIQUETTE, Calls of congratulation are due to the newly married, and to the parents who gave the invitations to the marriage. A man invited by a woman to call upon her, cannot, without great discourtesy, neg- lect to pay the call within a week. A lady will never keep a caller waiting, without sending word that she will be in immediately. One ought always to return a call, but if the acquaintance is not desirable, the first call may be the last. Some women only rise when their callers leave, others accompany them as far as the drawing-room door; but it is always polite for a hostess to accompany her visitors to the front door when they take their leave, if there is not a servant on hand to open the door for them. The best bred hostesses even go so far as to accompany their callers to the elevator in a hotel or an apartment- house. Of course, if one has more than one caller at a time, it would be discourteous to leave the others to accompany one to the door; but, otherwise, it is rude to permit a friend to go to the door alone, and get out as best she may. A bride who is ''At Home after Novem- ber first," should make a point of literally staying at home for an hour or two every afternoon during the month of November PRACTICAL ETIQUETTE. 11 and the early part of December. She should be dressed to receive callers, and should have some dainty refreshments ready to serve, — tea and sandwiches or cake. After the first week of December the bride may begin to return her calls, calling first on those who first called upon her, and so on. When the * 'at home' ' is a large and formal function, with engraved invitations and all the accessories of hired waiters, an elaborate repast, floral decorations, etc., — such as a debutante's coming out, a wedding reception, or a reception to celebrate a wedding anni- versary, and other large entertainments of this order, — an after-call is obligatory. But an ordinary "at home" does not demand another call, for instance, the reception or "days" a bride has on her return from her wedding trip, or when she is settled in her new home; or a tea or "days" for which a hostess informally sends the invitations written or engraved on her visiting cards, and receives with little ceremony and serves only a modest menu. On the contrary, the hostess owes a return call to all who attend; and only those who were invited, but were unable to be present, are in debt to her. The length of time proper for one to stay at an *'at home" depends on circumstances. It is always a compliment to one's hostess to make a long visit at "a day", for it im- 12 PRACTICAL ETIQUETTE. plies that one is having a pleasant time; but nobody should stay long enough to be a burden on the hostess's hospitality, or to detain her from her other guests. If one finds that she does not know any one present, or if she is not introduced to a congenial person with whom she can have a pleasant chat, it would be wise for her to leave after a conventional ten or fifteen minutes' call. The calling code demands that soon after a second caller is announced, the caller who was first present shall take leave of the hostess. The reason for this rule is obvious: visitor number one has already had a little time of uninterrupted tete-a-tete with the hostess before visitor number two appeared, and he or she should generously retire first, so that visitor number two may have the same privilege. But while this is the law, it depends somewhat on circumstances whether it is always carried out. If the first caller is an intimate friend of the hostess, and has come to have a long in- formal talk with her, and the second caller is merely a formal visitor whose obvious intention is to make a ceremonious visit, then the first comer may, with perfect pro- priety, outstay the other; or if the hostess has particularly asked the former to remain until after the latter goes, he may do so, and, of course, if the first visitor has come for some special reason, and the visitor who PRACTICAL ETIQUETTE, 13 is announced later interrupts an important conversation, which, for business or other reasons, should be continued, the former is naturally justified in transgressing the call- ing code. All things being equal, however, it IS the place of the first comer to be the first goer; and one must have a very good excuse for outstaying a caller who comes later. Guests who are invited to attend one large reception which is given for the express pur- pose of introducing a young woman into society, should make a call after the recep- tion, but if the debuta7ite is introduced at a series of *'days," the callers need call but once, on one of the "days." An invitation to any kind of *'day'* or reception demands a card from a person who is unable to attend the function; and the card should be sent on the day of the reception, even if the invitation to the func- tion has been already answered, and even if an after-call is in order. When one calls on an acquaintance who is staying with a relative, the caller should ask for the latter (the hostess), even if she does not know her, and she should leave one of her own and one of her husband's cards for her, as well as one of each for her friend. It is not obligatory to leave two of her husband's cards for each woman. 14 PRACTICAL ETIQUETTE, Even in the most formal visiting, it is op- tional whether one leaves one or two cards. Probably the hostess will excuse herself altogether; but the caller must show her the courtesy of asking for her. In making a call it is proper to give one's card to the servant who opens the door, if it is not a regular reception day; but on such an occasion the card should be left either in the dressing-room or on the hall table in passing out. In making a formal call ten minutes is quite long enough to stay. When one is returning visits and driving, it would be in very bad taste to have the coachman get off his box and take the card to the door. It is the woman's place to de- liver her card in person, unless she has a footman to attend to it for her. In making an evening call a man should appear about half-past eight, and remain an hour. Kven if his visit is to the daugh- ter, he should ask for her mother. It is quite proper, when making calls with a friend, for one to write her name in pencil on her friend's card, if she has no card of her own with her. Those women whose households are most modest find that the day "at home" is a great convenience, since, having a special PRACTICAL ETIQUETTE, 15 time for receiving one's friends, all neces- sary arrangements can be made beforehand, and no embarrassing situations are apt to occur. When one calls on a friend who lives in a flat, she should, immediately after ringing, call through the tube her name and that of the person she wishes to see. A man leaves his overcoat, hat, and stick in the hall when making an evening call; when calling in the afternoon he leaves his overcoat in the hall, but carries his hat and stick into the drawing-room with him. When a daughter is in the parlor, and her mother is entertaining callers, she should rise when her mother does in bidding them good-day. It is very improper for a young girl who is ill to receive men callers in her room. CARDS. When an invitation to a reception is sent in the name of several women, a guest should leave or send cards for all whose names are on the invitation. A w^oman leaves with her own cards the cards of those members of her family who are un- able to call. A young woman, when calling upon her friends with a young man who is a stranger 16 PRACTICAL ETIQUETTE. to them, should send his card with her own to the hostess and other women of the household. In making formal calls a visitor invari- ably hands her cards to the servant who opens the door with a card tray in her hand; when calling informally one may sim- ply give her name to the servant at the door, but then leaves no card later. A married woman, when making formal calls, leaves one of her husband's and one of her own cards for the hostess and for every other woman she asks for in the house, and one of her husband's cards, be- sides, for the host; but, while this is the rule for formal visiting, it is quite permis- sible for a married woman, when calling on a number of women who reside in the same house, to leave, besides her ovm and her husband's for the host and hostess, only one more of each for all' the others. In making formal visits, and subsequent calls after the first formal visit has been made, a married woman need leave only one of her husband's cards with her own; and in making a call in acknowledgment of an invitation to an entertainment to which she alone was invited, — such as a woman's lunch- eon, — she should leave only one of her own. The fashionable visiting card varies in size; but for a married woman it is generally PRACTICAL ETIQUETTE. 17 pure white and very thin, with the name engraved in ordinar^^ script. For a woman who lives in the country, it is in good taste to have the name of her country place put just where, if she were in the city, her town address would be, which is in the left hand lower comer. If a woman receives "at home" cards for "Tuesdays in February," and is prevented from calling on any of the Tuesdays, she should send her card in an envelope, either by hand or mail, on the first Tuesday, and call on the hostess at the earliest opportunity on some other da}'. A man should use a card engraved, as "Mr. George Wellington Smith," not omitting the prefix, with the address in one corner, if desired. The size of the card varies from time to time, but it is smaller than a woman's card. The names of mother and daughter or daughters are often engraved on one card; as, \ \ : MRS. jrnSON BROWN. MISS ANNA BNOWIs. 18 PRACTICAL ETIQUETTE, MRS. JUDSON BROWN. THB MISSKS BROWN. The following is the usual form for an unmarried woman's card: MISS MAY BROWN, 12 pine; ST. It is quite proper for a woman to retain her deceased husband's name on her visiting cards; as, "Mrs. John Smith." Itisequally proper for her to use *'Mrs. Jane Smith" for the purpose. When a caller is met by the hostess at the door, she should drop her card in the card receiver or leave it on the hall table on her way out. The object of such a card is not to introduce people when visiting, but as a reminder of the visit. *T. P. C." cards should be left on the occasion of a long absence (of over three PRACTICAL. ETIQUETTE. 19 months) ; on lea\4ng town at the close of the season; on leaving a neighborhood where one has resided for years, or where one has resided for months and sometimes only for weeks, but not when changing houses in the same neighborhood, not even when about to be married, unless one's furture home is to be in another cit5^ The words pom prejidre cojige signify to take leave. "R. S. V. P." means ''Repoyidez s'il zmis ^/(^^zV, " which is the French for "Answer, if 3'ou please." Turning down the corner of a visiting card, meaning that the call was made in person, is no longer in vogue. One might leave her card in person, writing on it "With kind inquiries,'' when sickness or death has entered the household of a friend, and thus show a delicate courtesy. It is proper for a hostess to shake hands with a man visitor on his arrival and at his departure. It is an evidence of very bad taste for a young woman to send wedding cards to a married man without including his wife's name, even if she has no acquaintance what- ever with her. A young girl who is not "out" does not have visiting cards. If she is the oldest or only daughter and is in society, her cards have upon them "Miss Smith." 20 PRACTICAL ETIQUETTE. A woman should never ask a man for- mally calling to take his hat, or a woman to lay aside her wraps. A card sent to an afternoon reception represents one's self. It should be sent .either by mail or messenger, and never by a friend to deposit upon the receiver with her own card. VISITING. A guest should always ascertain what are the usual hours of rising, taking meals, and retiring, and then conform scrupulously to them. \ Guests should give as little trouble as possible, and never apologize for the extra trouble their visit necessarily occasions. ! If a ride, drive or walk is proposed by one of the family entertaining, a guest should acquiesce as far as her strength will allow, and do all in her power to seen pleased by the efforts made for her enter- tainment. Upon taking one's departure, it is ex-[ pected — and reasonably, too— that some acknowledgment be made of the pleasure that has been afforded one. It is also proper upon returning home to inform the friends just left of one's safe arrival. CHAPTER II. Notes of Invitation, Announcement Cards, Wedding Invitations, Ac- ceptances AND Regrets, I^et- TERS, Letters of Introduction. "Politeness is one of those advantages which we never estimate rightly, but by the inconvenience of its loss." — Samuel Johnson. NOTES OF INVITATION. Notes of invitation for evening parties are issued in the name of the lady of the house; as, Mrs. James Little requests the pleasure of Mr. a7id Mrs. George White' s company on Monday eveniftg, March seventee7ith^ from nine to twelve o'clock.'^ The expression ' 'presents compliments' ' is obsolete, as is also the term * 'polite," which was formerly used in acceptances or regrets. The English form of ''kind" or "very kind" is now substituted in its place. *It is now quite common to omit marks of punct- uation at the end of lines in an invitation. 21 22 PRACTICAL ETIQUETTE. A very acceptable form of invitation for a mother (if the mother is not living, the father's name may be so used) and daugh- ter is this: Mrs. and Miss Graves at Home, Thurs- day, October twenty- seventh, from eight to eleve7i o'clock. When a very large dinner party is to be given, the invitations should be issued at least two weeks in advance; and if some very celebrated people are to be invited, twenty-one days should elapse between sending out the invitations and the da}^ of the function. For a small affair ten days' notice is sufficient. Invitations to large teas should be sent out fourteen days in advance, but for small ones a week's no- tice is sufficient. In answering an invitation sent out in the name of both mother and daughter, one should address the mother. When sending out invitations to evening parties, it is customary to denote the amuse- ment feature, if there is to be one, by nam- ing it in the lower left hand corner; as, ''Dancing," or "Cards," or ''Fancy dress and masks. ' ' The hour is designated thus : "Dancing after nine," or "German at eight o'clock," or "Supper at half after seven," and underneath "Dancing," Sometimes a PRACTICAL ETIQUETTE. 23 separate card is enclosed, reading "Dancing at nine o'clock." Mrs. George Brown requests the pleasure of Miss Lee's company on Tuesday evenings January seventh, at nine o'clock. Dancing. 221 Thirty -fifth Street. The correct form of invitation for an en- tertainment where an elocutionist is to be the principal feature is worded as follows: Mrs. James Sfnith requests the pleasure oj Mr, and Mrs. Brown' s company on Thurs- day evening, December the first, at eight o'clock. 12^ Jewell Avenue. Readiiig by Professor Willia^n White. An invitation to a rose or lawn party might read thus: Mrs. James Smith. The Misses Smith. AT HOME Tuesday evening, June the twenty-eighth, AT eight o'ci^oce:. rose party to meet 212 Sheridan Avenue. The Misses White. In writing invitations for a club for which one is acting as secretary it would be wise to put them in the third person, and then there would be no embarrassment about the arrangement of names. 24 PRACTICAL ETIQUETTE. The words ''reception" and *'at home" are synonymous. Each means an enter- tainment which takes place between certain stated hours in the afternoon or evening, where refreshments are served, and no especial order of amusement is provided, unless it is specified in the invitations. To a "reception" or "at home" the hostess generally sends invitations to all on her call- ing list. These large functions are usuallv given for some especial purpose; as, to introduce a debutante into society, to cele- brate a wedding anniversary, or for the bride and groom after the wedding ceremony, or merely that the hostess may meet all her friends. There is, however, a decided distinction betv/een a reception or an *'at home" and a tea or "days." An invitation to the first is engraved on a sheet of note paper or a large sized card, and is formally worded. The hours for the afternoon function are usually from four until seven, and one may expect to find at the house or place of entertain- ment decorations of flowers and greens, and quite an elaborate repast provided; but an invitation to a tea or to "days" does not imply that anything but the simplest kind of menu will be served, nor that any but simple preparations will be made. The invitations to the latter entertainments may be the hostess's visiting cards with the PRACTICAL ETIQUETTE, 25 address and "tea at four o'clock" written in one corner; or if the hostess prefers to receive informally on more than one day, she may have the form "Frida^^s," or ''Fri- days in February," or ''First and third Fridays in February," or v/hatever days she chooses, written or engraved on her cards. The formal luncheon hour is from one to two o'clock. Afternoon teas are usually at five. One's visiting card can be used only for an invitation for an afternoon "at home;' ' invitations to dinner or luncheon must be written out. In sending out cards for a tea one should simply write the date and the hour in the lower left-hand corner; in sending a note, whether by messenger or post, the number of the house and the name of the street should be WTitten out in full. The following is a good form of invitation to an "at home" given by several women: Mrs. James Smith Mrs. Chari.es White Mrs. Frederick Brown AT HOME Saturday, Aprii, the sixteenth at four 0'ci.ock 112 Madison Street The usual form of an invitation to a luncheon is as follows: 26 PRACTICAL ETIQUETTE. Mrs. James Brown requests the pleasure oe your company AT IvUNCHEON ON WEDNESDAY, APRII, THE SIXTH, AT ONE O'CI^OCK. I Below this and to the right would be the address, and the date on which the invita- tion is written. The invitation for a musical may be worded as follows: Mrs. James Smith requests the pleasure of Miss Byown'' s compa?iy o?t Friday afternoon, March seventeenth, at two o'clock. Music. ^ R. S. V. P. ^4 Qu^^^ Avenue. ANNOUNCEMENT CARDS. The simplest way to announce an engage- ment is for each of the engaged couple to write short notes of announcement on the same day to each one's relatives and near friends. All these notes are sent so that they will be received at the same time. They are written in the first person on dainty note paper, and the best form is the simplest. The character of the note must depend on the intimacy between the writer and the recipient. A pretty and fashionable sequence to the announcement is for the bride to give a tea PRACTICAL ETIQUETTE, 27 for the express purpose of receiving con- gratulations. She may mention it in her notes of announcement, and her fiarice may- mention in his notes that she will be at home on a certain day at a certain hour. She should then receive with her mother or some older relative, and she should have some light refreshment provided for her callers. All her young friends will call, and all the relatives and near friends of her fiance. The fianc6 should be present at the tea, or he may come before it is over, but he should not formally receive with his betrothed. Engagements are often announced in the newspapers. Wedding announcements or invitations should be sent in envelopes addressed to the father and mother of the family, to the daughter or daughters (addressed as the Misses), and to each of the grown sons. All these invitations in their envelopes may be enclosed in an outside envelope addressed to the parents. A wedding invitation or announcement card should alw^ays be addressed to both members of a married couple, even if the bride or groom who sends it is acquainted with only one. The correct form for wedding announce- - ment cards is as follows : 28 PRACTICAL ETIQUETTE. Mr. and Mrs. John Smith ANNOUNCER THE MARRIAGE OE THEIR DAUGHTER, ON Saturday, October the twenty-second, EIGHTEEN hundred AND NINETY-NINE. The bride's ''at home" cards should be separate, but enclosed with the announce- ments, and should read as follows: At Home Tuesday afternoons in January. 125 West Fifteenth Street, New York City. Announcement cards should be sent out immediately after the wedding to every one on the bride's and groom's list. And, again, wedding announcement cards need not be sent out in any one's name. The follow- ing is an example: on Wednesday, January the eighteenth, EIGHTEEN hundred AND NINETY-NINE AT St. Thomas' Church New York, Margaret Baker White TO Wii,i,iAM Barton. Anna TO Mr. Frank Brown Washington, D. C. Married PRACTICAL ETIQUETTE. 29 When a bride is an orphan it is customary for the cards announcing her wedding to be sent in the name of one of her near relatives, or else they may read simply like the one given above. Wedding announcement cards demand no acknowledgment from an acquaintance of the bride who lives at a distance, unless a "day" or *'days" are mentioned on them, when it is obligatory to send visiting cards on the "day" or the first one of the "da3^s;" otherwise, if one wishes to be particularly polite, one may send a visiting-card in ac- knowledgment of the announcement, but it is not obligatory to do so. Wedding announcements are sent to friends at home as well as to those abroad, because the cards are supposed, not only to suggest remembrance, but to express a de- sire that the acquaintance should be con- tinued after the name is changed. The birth of a baby is announced in vari- ous ways, there being no especial rules of etiquette for making the announcement. Sometimes engraved cards bearing the baby's name and date of birth are sent by them- selves in small envelopes, into which they fit exactly; sometimes they go in an envel- ope with the mother's visiting-card, and are written instead of engraved. These cards should be attached to the mother's visiting 30 PRACTICAL ETIQUETTE. cards by a piece of white baby ribbon, wbich is passed through a hole made in the top of both cards and tied in a tiny bov/. They should be sent out V\^hen the mother is ready to receive calls. WEDDING INVITATIONS. Wedding invitations should be issued at least two weeks before the day of the affair. It is customary for the bridegroom to give to the bride's mother a list of his relatives and friends to whom he would like cards sent, and some member of the bride's family attends to it. When the guests at a wedding are lim- ited to the immediate family, the invita- tions may be personal notes sent by the bride's mother. The notes may read like the following: My Dear Mary, — It will give us all much pleas- . ure if you will come to the very qinet wedding of my daughter Catherine to Mr. John Martin, on Saturday, February the fourth, at twelve o'clock, and remain to the little breakfast that will follow the ceremony. Only the members of the family will be present. Hoping that you may be with us the fourth, I am, A ffectionately yours, Anna Brown. A formal invitation may read as follows: PRACTICAL ETIQUETTE. 31 Mr. and Mrs. James M. Moore request the pi.easure of your presence at the marriage of their daughter AWCE TO Charles Ai^bert Smith, Thursday Evening, August twenty-fourth, at eight o'ci^ock, 121 Seventh Street Bast, Davenport, Iowa, 1899. Another form is as follows : Mr. and Mrs. John Brown request the PI.EASURE OF YOUR PRESENCE AT THE marriage breakfast of their daughter Mary Louise AND Mr. Chari^es Albert Smith, . ON Thursday, October the sixth, FROM ONE UNTIL THREE O' CLOCK. 15 Prospect Street. If the bride is an orphan, or if there is any very good reason why her parents' names should not appear on the invitation, the latter ma}^ be sent in the name of the mar- ried brother and his wife, or in the name of whoever gives the bride the wedding recep- tion. It may read as follows: 32 PRACTICAL ETIQUETTE. Mr. AMD Mrs. Chari^ks Smith REQUEST THE HONOR OE YOUR PRESENCE AT THE MARRIAGE OF THEIR SISTER BERTHA WlI,D TO Mr. James Montgomery Brown, ON Wednesday, October the twei/ETh, at eight O'CIvOCK. 2400 Fifth Street South. The following is a suitable form for an invitation for a silver wedding : Twenty-fifth Anniversary. Mr. and Mrs. John H. Smith AT Home Saturday Bv'g, December twenty-seventh, Eighteen hundred ninety nine, From eight to ei^Even o'ci