Lenox lz mo The Major's ace Conf Pam 12mo #691 DTIQhDflMQ- No. 116. THE MAJOR'S ACCOUNT OF HIMSELF. My Dear Sir : Having read your little volume entitled "The Church in the Army" with much interest and sympathy, and I hope with some profit, I readily meet your wishes in sending- you a few particulars of my own . experience, witli a humble hope they may in some feeble degree awaken in others the same feelings I derived from the perusal of what you have already published. Indeed, in this point of view [ consider it a duty, no less than a privilege, to place at your disposal whatever may by any means facilitate your carrying on what you have so efficiently begun. It pleased God that I should be placed for a short time in early }^ears with a pious relation, where I en- joyed the privilege of Christian example, and where, I believe, favorable, though but slight impressions were left on my mind. It is true these were not strong enough to keep me from evil in after life, but I trust they were so far influential that I was never a scoffer or open despiser of religion. At ten years of age I was taken from these advantages, and, unhappily, they were not soon restored to me. At fifteen I joined the public insti ution for educating those who are to be prepared for commissions in the army. At seventeen I received my first appointment, with orders to join at . At that eventful period of youth I was cast on the world 2 TUB MAJOR S ACCOUNT OF UIMSELF. and left to myself, without the immediate restraining influence or directing counsel of relations or 'friends, and above all with a nature totally depraved, without any sense of the wisdom that is from above, or desire to seek after and know the will of God. I can only bless and praise God, that when thus in total darkness, a slave to sin and Satan, I was not utterly consumed and cut off in a slate of impenitence. I wholly neglected religion, and conformed to the world, and if L did not run into the same excesses as many did I fear it was not any convictions of the, sinfulness of such courses in the sight of God, and the fear of offend ng him, which restrained me, but the desire of standing well with my fellow-men, and of avoiding those inconveniences and sufferings which the depraved generally experience even in this world. I remained at two years in total disregard of the Sabbath, rarely, if ever, looking into the word of God. I am persuaded that I was in my conduct at this time greatly influenced by those around me; how imperative, therefore, is the duty of parents to train up their chil- dren early in the paths in which they should walk in after life, and when separated from them in the way I ha\e just related, how earnest should they be in searching out and placing them within reach of the society, exam- ple, and advice of decided Christians. At the close of 1810 1 received orders to join the army in the Peninsula, and, after many vicissitudes, and often experiencing the protecting mercy of God, we reached Lisbon, having been two months on the voyage. Notwithstanding these occurrences I remained insensi- ble and unmindful of the power and goodness of God, and of my own weak and sinful state. On leaving England a much esteemed friend presented me with a THE MAJOR S ACCOUNT OF HIMSELF. 3 Bible; but, alas! with shame I acknowledge it re- mained neglected and unread, and was prized more as the gift of my friend than as the word of God. After serving at the siege of Badajoz, in 18.11, I was at Lisbon, and there attended the funeral of an officer who had been wounded in the siege. The solemnity of the pro- cession and rmisic affected me much, depressing my spirits; and so strong were these feelings that, on writ- ing to my friends in England some time after, I could not help noticing what I had felt on that solemn occa- sion. And Jet me add that, though 1 deprecate formality or ostentation in religious services, 1 cannot but believe that in some instances military funerals have had a happy and beneficial influence on the feelings. In January, 1812, I served at the siege of Ciudad Rodrigo, and, though aware in the regular course of duly I should be one-third of the duration of the siege actively employed, I never felt any apprehension of my state toward God, or dread of being instantaneously brought into his presence. Alas! how delusive was the security I felt compared with that which a true Christian would experience, supported by the assurance that though the stroke of death might suddenly cut him off, an unfading crown of glory would be his portion in ^heaven. Here I cannot but notice one of those remark- able instances of the protecting care of Divine Provi- dence which are, in military life especially, experienced by many who, alas! little think of the hand to which they ought to be traced. A spent ball struck me just on the side of my cocked hat, and immediately above my temple. Had it struck me a quarter of an inch lower it would doubtless have been fatal, as there would have been nothing to lessen its force. As it was it laid 4 THE MAJOR'S ACCOUNT 01" HIMSELF. me prostrate, broke the skin, and kept me confined till the day of the assault. In the course of the summer of 1812, when detached in a very unhealthy part of the country, I was attacked with violent fever, which made my recovery very doubt- ful ; but it pleased God to spare me. On this occasion, when the fever left me and my mind was sufficiently restored to reflect on the past, I became fully sensible of the dangers through which God had brought me, and in gratitude to him, and to seek comfort, which I much needed in my weak and desolate state of mind, I began to read my Bible; but before I had finished the Pen- tateuch I became tired, and discontinued reading it. When perfectly restored I resumed my military duties, and in May, 181:J, moved with the division of the army into Spaih. In the summer of this year I served with the troops besieging San Sebastian, and was se- verely wounded in the last and successful assault. This caused my removal to England with other officers for recovery. I cannot reflect now without pain and bitter self- reproach on the heedlessness and insensibility I mani- fested under the circumstances just related, as regarded the dreadful consequences of entering the presence of God in a state of sin and impenitence. From the na- ture of the duty I was employed on, survival was hardly probable; yet 1 could not for a moment dare to contem- plate death, lest it should in any degree unsettle or un- fit me for a due performance of my duty. On my voyage home I experienced again the protect- ing mercy of God. We encountered severe storms, were separated from the convoy, and were many days in expectation of being driven on shore on the enemy's coast, or of being picked up by his cruisers. On my THE MAJORS ACCOUNT OF HIMSELF. O recovery I was again entered into active service, but my conduct was still very sinful, and conformed to the world. A brother officer, a professor of religion, joined soon after me, and it is now pleasing to remember that I listened to him with patience, preferred his society, and on one occasion strenuously supported him when opposed by others in well doing. Through his instru- mentality I joined with those who contributed to the support of the Naval and Military Bible Society; but all this took place without that constraining Jove of Christ which can alone prove us renewed in heart. In June, 1815, I was ordered to join the army in Bel- gium, and we quitted England on the day of the battle of Waterloo; but, by using every exertion, we joined the troops on their march to Paris the day before they invested it, and became immediately employed there. Here, and during my stay in France till the autumn of 1818, I was placed in situations little favorable to piety I had the sorrow, too, to see my friend who had been stationed with me had fallen away from his Christian pr6fession ; while, on the other hand, I was cheered in witnessing the steadfastness and consistency of another officer who had made a profession of religion about the same time as the former. I felt comfort and happiness in seeing the fidelity of a servant of God, though [ neg- lected to implore the aid of that Spirit which can alone turn a sinner from the error of his ways. Early in 1W20, being stationed at another post, I was there, under the divine blessing, made to feel the terrors of the Lord, the extent and depth of my own weakness and depravity, and the unspeakable riches of Christ in binding up the broken-hearted, and saving those that are lost. This change was brought about by another severe and dangerous illness. When in this condition O THE MAJOR S ACCOUNT OF HIMSELF. the fear of God wrought upon me mightily, and on recovering I earnestly sought to know his will. Truly can I say that in the perusal of the word of God, the glorious gospel, I rejoiced exceedingly in there behold- ing the glad tidings of salvation. I now became earnest in seeking the truih by attending the ministry of those who preached the gospel faithfully; yet I was not long in discovering that, though the heart had been touched and the conscience awakened, the seeds of evil still remained, which were constantly hindering me in the path of holiness, and were a perpetual source of dis- comfort and distress in the certain condemnation of heart which followed the divine declarations against iniquity. From this time until the time I loft England for home, I had much help and enjoyment in the society of the same Christian relative with whom I had been placed in my youth. He greatly strengthened me with his counsel and example, and through him I was intro- duced to a pious officer and his lady on joining my station abroad. Here I learned experimentally tRat those who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus must suffer persecution, that the world is at open enmity Willi God, and that it is incumbent on the followers of Christ to come out from the world and be separate. Here, too, I read several books which conduced to establish and settle my mind; among others, Watson's Apologies for the Bible and Christianity, Beveridge's Private. Thoughts, and the Pilgrim's Progress. About this time I was removed to a different station, and al- though at the time I thought it a hardship, being out of the usual course, I have since reason to bless God for this very occurrence, for here 1 became acquainted with many pious persons, both officers and civilians. I attended THE MAJOR S ACCOUNT OF HIMSELF. 7 the ministry of the Rev. Mr. , and we had a weekly meeting for reading the Scriptures. Becoming thus identified with God's people, I could not expect it would be otherwise than that I should experience such crosses and trials as my situation and calling exposed me to. I was enabled, however, to cast my burden upon the Lord by failh and prayer, and I found "his grace suffi- cient for me." And by the same grace T bless God that I continue till this day, and desire to witness to all that the Lord is truly good and gracious in all his ways, and to bear my humble testimony in saying that " religion's ways are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace." My dear sir, Yours, affectionately, . PUBLISHED BY THE SOUTH CAROLINA TRACT SOCIETY. Evaua & Cogswell, Printers, No. 3 Broad street, Charleston, S. C. LIST OF TRACTS PUBLISHED BY THE SOUTH CAROLINA TRACT SOCIETY No. of Number Tract. of pages l..Am I Self-Deceived 4 2. .Have You ? 12 3.. The Sinner's Friend 20 4.. The Act of Faith 4 5.. What is it to Believe on Christ? 4 6. .Dialogue between the Bible and a Sinner 4 7. .Self-Dedication to God 4 8.. Why Do We Sit Still 4 9.. Ye Shall Not Surely Die.. 4 10. .A Convenient .Season 4 11.. The Bible the Word of God 4 12.. Three Words 4 13. . A Word of Warning 4 14 . .Grieving the Spirit of God 4 If).. Hinder Me Not 4 16.. The Soldier's Pocket Bible.10 17.. I Don't Like Professions. . 4 18.. The Bible in niyTrunk... 4 19. .How to Dispose of Care.. 4 20.. The Way of Peace 8 21.. Quench Not the Spirit.... 4 22.. Fatal Delusions 4 23.. The Sword of the Spirit.. 4 24. .Procrastination 4 25.. The Missionary's Nephew 4 26.. Lost Convictions 4 27.. Profane Swearing 4 28. .Obstacles to Conversion.. 4 29.. The Spirit Grieved 4 30. .Counsel to the Convicted. 4 31.. Every Man the Friend or the Enemy of Christ 4 32. .The Soldier's Victory 8 33.. The Wrath to Come 4 34. .What Are You Fit For?.. 8 35.. Christ a Covert from the Tempest S 36.. The Christian Traveller.. 8 37. .Napoleon's Argument for the Divinity of Christ and the Scriptures 8 38.. I Can't Make Myself Differ- ent S 39.. The Sinner his own De- stroyer 8 No. of Numbtr Tract. of page* 40.. The Infidel's Creed; or,The Credulity of Infidelity 8 41.. Alarm to the Careless.... 8 42. .True Conversion 8 43. .The Christian Officer 8 44.. Our War, Our Cause, and Our Duty 16 45.. The Crimean Hero: the late Captain Vicars 12 46.. The Muffled Drum 8 47.. How Do You Bear Your Trials? 8 48. .How Long Have You Been Sick? 12 49.. Soldier! Do You Believe the Bible? 4 50.. The Lone Roll 4 51.. Mortally Wounded 8 52.. The Sailor Lost and Found 8 53.. Captain Deverell; or, From Darkness to Light 12 54.. A Word from the Ladies of the Soldiers' Relief Asso- ciation of Charleston to the Soldier 4 55.. Col. Gardiner — as a Man, a Christian, and a Soldier.24 56.. The Railway Guide 16 57.. The Confederate Hero and his* Patriotic Father. . . .16 5S.. The Sailor's Home 8 59.. Kind Words to a Wounded Soldier 8 60. .TheEvtMitfulTwelveHours; or, The Destitution and Wretchedness of the Drunkard 16 61 . .The Dying Robber 8 02.. Do You Pray in Secret?... 4 63.. Do You Enjoy Religion ?. . 4 64.. I've Never Thought of Dy- ing So 4 65.. Why Sit Ye Here Idle?... 4 66.. Come and Welcome 12 67.. The Silly Fish 4 68. . Why Yet Impenitent ? 4 69.. Who Slew All These?.... 4 Hollinger Corp. P H8.5