A N EXTRACT OF THE L I F E OF. THE LATE Rev. Mr. David Brainerd^ Mijfionary to the Indians. JOHN WESLEY, M. A, ^4 BRISTOL: Printedby WILLIAM PINE, in Wine-Streit, M.DCC.LXVJII, E ADVERTISEMENT; H O S E parts of the folloicing hijlory that are inckided bdween brackets thus f ^^'^ the words of the publifner Mr, Jonathan Ed- wards, viinijler (9/^ Northampton in Nev/-England, for the mof part fum- marily reprefenting the chief tlmig.^ con- tained in Mr. Brainerd's diary : the ref is the account that he gives of him- Jef in his private writings, in h IS ozvn words. Digitized by the Internet Arcliive in 2015 littps://arcliive.org/details/extractof[ifeofl1768brai A N T R OF THE LIFE OF THE I- AT E Rev. Mr. DAVID BRA I NERD. Jl PART I. From his Birth, to ih: tinie zi'he?i he began to devote hivifdf to the Study of Divinity. t Ik yf ^* D'^''-'^^ Brainerd was born April 20, 1718. /| at Haddam, a town belonging to the county - of Hartford^ in the colony of Connecticut. •New- En gland. His father, who died when lie v/ as about nine yccss of age, was the W'orfliipful Hezc- kiah Brainerd. Efq. one of his Majefty's council for that colony, and the fon of Daniel Brainerd, Efq. a jufuce of the peace, and a deacon of the church in Haddam. His mother was Mrs. Dorothy Hobart, daughter to the Rev. Mr. Jeremiah Hobart, who preached awhile at Topsficld, ?.nd then removed to } lempftead on Long^fiand, and afLcrwards camie and i'jltLsd in the v%-ork of tlie miniftry at Haddam : \\ here he clh'-' i ; . ■ ? S./.h ye?.r of his age : of whom :i If, rcniayh.. '....i wcuL to \h-2 -pablic worlhiD t 6: ) in the foreuoonj and died in his chair between meet- ings. Mr. David Brainerd was the third fon of his parents. They had hve fons and four daughters. Their cldeft fon is Hezekiah Brainerd, Efq. ajuftice of the peace, and for feveral years paft a reprefenta- tive of the town of Haddam, in the general affembly of Connc6licut colony ; the fccond was the Reverend Nehemiah Brainerd, a worthy minifter at Eaftbury in Connefticut, who died of a Confumption Nov. lO, 1742; the fourth is Mr. John Brainerd, who fucceeds his brother David, as miffionary to the In- dians, and paftor of the fame church of Chriftian Indians inNewJerfey; and the fifth wab Ifracl, late ftudent at Yak-coUegc in New-Haven, who died lince his brother David. — Mrs. Dorothy Brainerd having lived feveral years a widow, died when her fon David was about fourteen years of age : fo that in his youth he was left both fatherlefs and motherlefs. What account he has given of himfelf, and his own life, may be feen in what follows.]] I Was, I think, from my youth fomething fober, and inclined to melancholy, but do not remember any conviftion of fm, worthy of remark, 'till I was fcven or eight years of age; when I greW tt;rriiied at die thoughts of death, and was driven to the per- formance of duties i this religious concern was fhort- iivcd. However, I fametimes attended fecret pray- er: and thus lived at " eafe in Zion, tho' without God in the world," 'till I was above thirteer) years of age. But in the winter 1 73 I was fomething roufed by the prevailing of a mortal ficknefs in Haddam. I was frequent, conflant, and fomething fervent in duties, and took delight in reading, efpecially Mr. j2incw3.y'sTokmJor Children J I was fomctimes much melted in duties, and took great delight in the per- formance of them. The Spirit of God at this time proceeded far \yith me ; I was remarkably dead to' ihe woildj and my thoughts were ahnofl wholly em- T)loyed about m}^ foul's concerns ; I may indeed fay, 7 ) Almoft I was perfuaded to be a Chri{l:;an.'' I was alfo exGeedingly dulieiTcd at the death of my mother, in March, ^y^^* But afterwards my religious con- cern declined, and I by degrees fell back into fe- curity, though I ftill attended to fee ret prayer. About the 15th of April 1733. I r^-^nicved from my father's houfe to Eaft-Haddam, v/hcre I i-:ent four years. Here I went to a round of fecrct d.:ty, I was not much addifted to young company : but ' when I did go into it, I never returned with fo good a confcience as I went ; it always added new guilt to me, ar:d made me afraid to come to the throne of grace. A^boui the latter end of April 1737, being full nineteen, I removed to Durham, and began to work on my farm, and fo continued 'till 1 was twenty years old; iho' frequently longing after a liberal education. When I was abouc twenty, 1 applied myfclf to ftudy, and was engaged more than ever in the duties of re- ligion. I became veiy watchful over my thoughts, words, andaftions: and thought I muft be fo, be- caufe I dcfigned to de^^ote myfelf to the miniflry. Some time iri April 1738, I went to Mr. Fiike's, and lived with him during his life*. And I remem- ber, he advifed me wholly to abandon young com- pany, and alTociate myfelf with grave elderly peo- ple : which counfcl I followed; and my manner of life was now cxceedirig regular. I read my Biblemore than twice through in lefs than a year, 1 fpcnt much timeever\-day in fecret prayer, and other fecret duties; I gave great attention to the word pieached, and en- deavoured to my utmoft to retain it. So much con- cerned was I about relit:ion, that I a2;recd \vith fome young pcrfons to meet privately on Sabbath-even- ings for religious exerciies; and after our meeting was ended, I ufed to repeat the difcourfes of the da)' to myfcif, and recoUcft what 1 could, though fomefimes it was late in the night. Again, on Mon- day mornings I uf:;d f(}met:mcs to recoiled the fame fermons. Mr. F.lk: was Uu vaflor of ilic church in Haddam. { 8 ) fi^rmons. And I had fomctimes confiderable movings oi affeciiions in auiies, and mucn plealurc therein. After Mr. Fiike's death, I proceeded in my learn* ing with my brother; and was ftill very conftant in rehgious duties. Thus I proceeded on a J elf 'righteous foundation;* and £l:iould ftili, had not the mere mercy of God prevented. Some timxe in the beginning of winter, ahno. 1730,- it pleafed God, on one Sabbath-day morning, as I was' walking out for {om.c fecret duties, to give me on a fudden, fuch a fenle of my danger, and the wrath of God, that I ftood am.azed, and was much diftreffed all that day, fcaiing the vengeance oF God- W'Ould foon overtake me ; 1 kept much alone, and fometimes grudged the birds and beafts their happi- nefs, becaufe they were not expofed to eternal mi- fery, as I faw I was. And thus I lived from day to day, in great difiref^i : ibmetimes there appeared mountains before me to obftrufl my hopes of mercy ; but I ufed, however, to pray and cry to God^ and perform other duties wuh great earneftnefs. Some time in February, 1 7 38-9, I fet apart a day for fecret falf ing and prayer, and fpent the di\y in almofh inccliant cries to God for mercy, that he would open my eyes to fee the evil of fin, and the way of life by Jef is Ghriil;. And God was pleafed that day to make confiderable difcoveiies of my heart to me, and to iriakc my endeavours a means to fhe\v^ me ray kt'pLfjncJs in fom-e rr.eafure. • — I confbanth' ftrove alter ■wh.aX'zxis.v quiilificaUQns I imagined odia/s _ obtained before the reception 01 Chrifl:. Sonr. iniios I felt the power of an hard Jieart, and iappofcd li mu^iht Jo ft au'.cl before Clu-ift would accept of me ; and when 1 felt any mehings of heart, I hoped now the work was almofb done ; and hcr.ce, Vv'hen nrr diftrcfs ftill remained, i was wont to murmur at God's dealings wiih me: and thought, when others fc!t - * I 'doubi UiCit : I bdti'vc this was 'I rue RcugiGU as /■<-''' as it went. ( 9 } felt their hearts foftened. God fhewed them mercy; but my diftrefs remained flill. Sometimes I grew rmifi and fv^gifi, withont any great conviftions of fm, for a confiderable time toge= ther ; but after fuch a feafon, conviftions feized me more violently. One night in particular, when L was walking folitarily abroad, I had fuch a view of my fin, that I feared the ground would cleave afun- der, and fend my foul quick into hell. And thougl*. I was forced to go to bed, left my diftrefs fhould be difcovered by others, which I much feared; y£t I fcarce durft fleep at all, for 1 thought it would be a great wonder if I fhould be out of hell in the morn- ing. But though mv diftrefs v/as thus great, yet I dreaded the lofs of conviftions, and returning back to a ftate of fecurity, and to my former infenfibility of impending wratli ; which made me exceeding ; exa^t in my behaviour, left I fhould ftiflcthe mo- tions of God's fpirit. The many difappointments and diftrefTes I met With, put me. into a moft horribk frame of cmitfiing w^th the Almighty; with an inward vehemence, finding fault with his ways of dealing with mankind. I found great fault with the imputation of Adam's fm to his pofterity ; and my wicked heart often wifhed for fome other way of falvation, than by Jefus Chrift. 1 1 wifhed fometimes there was no Gcd, or that there were fome other God that could controut him. Thefe thoughts were frequently a6led before I was av*tare ;. but, when I confidered this, it diftreffed me, to : think, that my heart was fo full of enmity againft ' God ; and it made me tremble, left God's vengeance (hould fuddenly fall upon me. I ufed before, to imagine my heart was not fo bad. as the fcriptures re- prefented. Sometimes I ufed to take much pains to work it into an humble fubmiffive difpofition ; but on a fudden, the thoughts of the ftriftnefs of the law, or the fovereignty of God, would fo irritate the corrup- tion of my heart, that it would breakover all boundsj. and burft forth on all fides, like floods of waters when they breeik down their danim. While ( •<> ) While I was in this diftreffed ftate of mind, the cor- rupdon of my heart was efpeeially irritated with thefe things following. 1, The Jiridnefs of the divine law. For I found it was impoffible for me (after my utraofh pains) to an- Iwer the demands of it. I often made refolutions, and as oft-en broke them, I imputed the whole to want of being more watchful, and ufed to call my- ^ felf a fool for my negligence. But when, upon a ^ ftronger refolution, and greater endeavours^ fafting. ^ and prayer, I found all attempts fail, then I quarrelled [ \ "^.v'ith the law of God, as unreafonably rigid. I thought, if it extended only to my outward a6tions, ' I could bear with it; but I found it condemned me ' for the fms of my heart, which I could not poffibly I prevent. I was entremely loadi to give out, and own ' my utter helpleffnefs ; but after repeated difappoint- nicntSj tnougnL thur, rallier tlian pcrifh. I could do a little more fiLill, efpeeially if fuch and fuch circuni:- I icances might but attend my endeavours; I hoped, that I fliould ftrive more earncftly ihan ever: and i this Irope oF future more favourable circumflances, and of doing fomelhing hereafter, kept me from uUer defpair of myfelf, and from feeing my felf fallen into the hands of God, and dependent on nothing but boundlefs grace. • 2. Another thing was, \\\d.t foAth alone w^s the cc?2^ dition of falvation ; and that God would not come down, to lower terms, that he would not promife life and falvation upon my fincere prayers and endeavours,. That word, Mark xvi. 16. He that believeth not, fiiall be damned,"' cut oiT all hope there ; and I fouMd, faith was the gift of God; that I could not get it-of myfelf, and could not oblige God to beflow it upon me, by any of my performances, (Eph, ii.. 1.. 8.) " This," I was ready to fay, " is a hard faying, j v/ho can bear it?" I coufd not bear, that all 1 had'" 1 done fhould ftand for mere nothing, who had bee:, i very confcientious in duty, and had been exceeding, i religious a great while, and had (as I thought) done ; much more than many others that had obtained mer-^ i If ( 1^ ) cy, I confeffed ''indeed the vilenefs of my dirties ; but then, what made them at that time feem vile, was my wandering thoughts in them^ not becaufe I was all over defiled, and the principle corrupt- from whence they flowed, fo that I could not poffibly do any thing that was good. And therefore I called what I did, by the name of faithful endeavours ; and could not bear it, that God had made no promifes of falvation to them. 3. Another thing was, that I could not find out how to come to Chrifl. I read the calls of Chrift, made to the zveary and heavy laden j but could find no way that he direfted them, to come in. I thought I would gladly come, if I knew how, though the path of duty directed to was never fo dif?-cult. Mr Stod- dard's Guide to Chrifl, did not tell me any thing I could do, that would bring me to Chrifl, but left me as it were with a great gulph between me and Chrifl, without any direclion to get through. For I was not yet experimentally taught, that there could be no way prefcribed, whereby a natural man could, of his own ftrength, obtain that which is fupernatu- ral, and which the highefl angel cannot give. All this time the fpirit of God was powerfully at work with me ; and I Vv^as inwardly preiTed to reliii- quifh all felf - confidence, all hopes of ever helping my- felf by any means whatfoever; and the conviftion of my ijfi eftate was fcmetimes fo clear, that it was as if it had been declared to rne in fo many words, " It is done, it is for ever inipolTible to deliver )'ourfelf." For about three or four days, my foul v/as thus dif- treffed, efpecially ai fome tarns, when for a few mom.ents 1 feerned to m) iell iofi and undone; but then would fhnnk back imm.ediaiely from the fight, becaufe i dared not venture myfclf into the hands of God, as Vvholly helplefs, 1 dared not fee that im- portant truth, that I was dead in tre/hajj'es and ftns. But when I had thrufl away chefe views of myfelf at any *l'me, I was diilreiicd to have the fame difcoveries again ; for I greatly feared bein v gi^^en over of God 'O final ftupidity. When 1 thought of putting it off t '2 ) tozr-ifiore cc7iven{e7it feafcn, the convi£lion was fo power- ful with regard to the prefent time, that it was the -beft time, and probably the only time, that I dartd not to put it off. It was the fight of truth, concerning myfelf, truth r^{pf6iiDg my (late, as a creature fallen and alienated from God, and that confequently could make no demands on God for mercy, my foul fhrink away from, I could fee no fafety in owning myfelf in| the hands of God, and that I could lay no claim toi any thing better than damnation. But after a confiderable time fpent in fuch diftref-i fes, one morning, while I was walking in a folitary! place, as ufual, I at once faw that all my contrivances j to procure falvation for myfelf, were utterly in vain :\ I was brought quite to a ftand as finding myfelf totally lojt, I had thought many times, that the difficulties! were very great; but now 1 faw, in very different light, thai it was forever impoflible for me to do any thing towards delivering myfelf, I then thought of: blaming myfelf, that 1 had not done more, while I had opportunity; (for it feemed now as if the feafon of doing was for ever over and gone ;) but 1 inftantly! faw, that let me have done what I would, it would no more have tended to my helping myfelf, than what I had done; that 1 had made all the pleas I everj could have made to all eternity; and that all my! pleas were vain. The tumult that had been before! in my mind, was now quieted; and I was fomething i cafcd of that diftrefs, which I felt, while ftruggling againft a fight of myfelf. 1 had the greateft certainty that my ftate was for ever miferable, for all that 1 could do : and was alraofl aftoniflied that 1 had ne- ver been fenfible of it before. In the time while 1 remained in this ftate, my no- \ tions i-e{pc6iiTig my duties, were quite different from j what I had ever entertained in times paft. Now I faw, there was no neceffar)- conncftion between my prayers and the divine mercy : that they laid not the i leafl obligation upon God to beffovv his grace upon i me; and tliat there was no more gocxin' Ji in them,|! than there would be in my paddlirig w'lli my liandj inj X -^3 ) in ihc water, (which was the comparifon I had then in my mind) ; and this becaufe they were not per- formed from any love to God. 1 faw that I had heaped up ray devotions before God, falling, pray- ing, cSrc. redUy thinking I -was -aiming at the glor)^ of God; whereas I never once truly intended it, I continued in this (late of mind from Friday morning 'till the Sabbath -evening following, July 12, 1739, when 1 was walking again in the fame folitar)' place, and attempting to piay, but found no heart to engage in that or any oth^r duty. Having 'been thus endeavouring to pray for near half an hour, (and by th-is time the fun was about half an nour high) as I was walking in a dark thick grove, -mifpeakaok glory feemed to open to the view of m.y foul : I do not mean any external brightnefs, nor any imagination of a body of light, or any thing of that nature: but it was a new inward apprehenfion or viev/ that I had of God, fuch as I never had before, I ilood ftill, and admired I I knew that I had never feen before any thing comparable to it for excellency and heauty; It was widely different from all the concept lions that ever 1 had had of God, or things divine* I had no particular apprehenfion of any one perfon in the Trinity, either the Father, the Son, or the Holy Ghofh; but it appeared to be divine glory, that 1 then beheld : and my foul rejoiced zcit/ijoy unfpeakahkj to fee fuch a God, fuch a glorious divine being ; and 1 was inwardly pleafed and fatisfied, that he fnould be God over all for ever and ever. My foul was fo captivated and delighted with the excellency, love- iinefs, greatnefs, and other perfections of God, that I was even fwallowed up in him, to that degree, that atyzr/c, 1 fcarce reflefted there was fuch a crea- ture as myfelf. Thus God, I truft. brought me to a hearty difpo- lition to exult -him. and fet him. on the throne, and ul- tim.ately to aim at his honour and glor\', as king of univerle. i continued in this if ate "till near dark. VvUthout any fenhble abatement; and then began to think what I B had ( '4 ) ■had feen ; and was fweetly compofed all tlie evcnir.g following. I felt m) felf in a new world, and every thing about me appeared with a difFerent afjpeft from .what it was wont to do. At this time the zvay of falvation opened to me with fuch infinite wifdom, fuitablenefs, and excellency, that I wondered 1 fhould ever thirk of any other way of falvation 4 was amazed, that 1 had rot drop- ped my own contrivances, and complied with this blefied and excellent way before. If I could have been faved by my own duties, or any other way that I had formerly contrived, my whole foul would now have refufed. I wondered, that the whole world did not fee and comply with this way of falvation, entirely by the merits of Chrtfl^ The fweet rclifh of what I then felt, continued with me for feveral days, in a greater or lefs degree ; I could not but fweetly rejoice m God, lying down and rifing up. The next Lord's day 1 felt fomethirg of the fame kind, though not fo powerful. But, not -long after, was again under great diftrefs ; yet not of the fame kind with my diftrefs under conviftions. I was guilty, afraid, and afhamed to come before God ; was exceedingly prelfed with a fenfe of guilt : but it was not long before I felt (I truft) true repen-^ tance and joy in God. In the beginning of September I went to college,* and entered there ; but with fome degree of reluc- .fancy, fearing left I fhould no*t be able to lead a life of ftrift religion, in the midft of fo many tempta- tions. After this, before I went to tarry at col- lege, it pleafed God to vifu my foul with clearer ma- nifeftations of himfelf. I was fpending fome time in prayer, and felF-examination ; and the Lord by hia grace fo fhined into my heart, that I enjoyed full ailurance of his favour; and my foul was unfpeak- ably refrefiied. At this time efpecially, as well as fome others, fundry paflages of God's word opened to my foul with divine clearnefs, power and fvvect- nefsj •* Yak'CoUege in Ncu- Haven » ( 'S > MTsfs, fo as to appear exceeding precious, and' with', clear and certain evidence of its being ik-i word of God^- I enjoyed confiderable fweelnefs in religion all the- winter following. In Jan. ^739 — 40, the meafks fpread much in- coUege ; and I having taken the diftemper, went, home to Haddam.. But fome dav£ before I was taken fick, my foul mourned che abfence of the Comforter : it feemed to me. all c-< nifort was gone I cried to God, yet found no relief. But a night or two before I was taken ill, while I was walking alone- and engaged in meditation and prayer, 1 enjoyed a- Tweet refrefhing vifit from above, io that my foul was - raifed far above the fears of deaih ; O how much- more refrefhing this one feafon was, than all the pleafures that earth can afford ! After a day or two I was taken with the meafles, and aimoft defpairedoT^ life ; but had no diftreiTing fears of death. Howe- ver, I foon recovered : yet, by reafon of hard ftudies,: I had little time fer fpirituai duties ; my. foul often mourned for want of more time and opportunity to be alone with God. In the fpring and fummer follow- ing, I had better advantages for retirement, and en- joyed more comfort : though indeed my ambition in my ftudies greaily wronged the vigour of my fpirituaL Lfe : yet " in the multitude of rny thoughts within me, God's comforts delighted my foul.'-' One day in particular-^ (in June 1740) I walked in the fields alone, and found fuch unfpeakablc fweetnefs in God, that 1 thought, if I mufb continue - ftill in this evil world, i wanted always to be there to behold God's glor)^ : m.y foul dearly loved all- mankind, and longed exceedmgly that they fhould enjoy what I enjoyed. — It feemed to be a little re- fcmbiance of heaven. In x-\uguft following, I became fo difordered, by £00 clofe application to my ftudies, that I was advifcd' by m.y tutor to go home,, and difengage my mind from - ftudy, as much as I could.; fori began to fpit blood.. 1 took his advice, but being brojght very low, I- looked death in the face more fteadfaftly ; the Lord- e i« ) was pleafed to give rae a fweet relifh of divine tilings^, and my foul took delight in the bleffed God. Saturday, Oftober 18. In my morning devotions, my foul was exceedingly melted for, and bitterly mourned over my exceeding finfulnefs and vikntjs, I never before felt fo deep a fenfe of the odious nature of fin. My foul vas then unufually carried forth in love to God, and had a lively fenfe of God's love to me. And this love and hope, caft out fear. OHober 19.. In the morning I felt my foul huvger- ing and thujlino after' rightecufnefs. In the forenoon, while I was looking on the facramental elements, and thinking that Jefus Chrift would foon be " fet forth crucified before me," my foui was filled with light and love, fo that I was almoft in an ecftafy ; my body was fo weak, I could fcarcely ftand. 1 felt at; ihe fame time an exceeding tendernefs and mod fer- vent love towards all mankind;; fo that my foul andi all the powers of it feemed, as it were, to melt into foftnefs and fweetnefs. This love and joy caft out fear ; and my foul longed for perfaft grace and glory. Tuefday^ 08}ober 21. I had likewife experience of the goodnefs of God in fliedding abroad his. love in my heart," and all the remaining part of the week,my foul was taken up with divine things. I now fo longed after God. and to be freedfrom fm, that when I felt my- felf recovering, and thought I muft return to eollegQ again, which had proved fo hurtful to me the year paft, I could not but be grieved,, and I thought I had much rather have died ; but before I Vv^ent, I enjoyed feveral other fweet and precious feafons of cornmu-. nion with God, wherein my foul enjoyed unfpeakable comfort, I returned to college about November 6, and, through the goodnefs of God, felt the power of reli- gion almoft daily. November 28. I enjoyed precious difcoveries of God, and was unfpeakably refrefhed with that paf- fage, Heb.xii. 22, 23, 24, fo that my foul longed to wing away for the paradife of God ; i longed to be conformed to God in all thjn^^s.. Tuefday,. ( «7 J Tuefday, December 9. God was pleafed won Jer= fully to afiifl and flrengtben me ; fo that I thoLignt nothing fliould ever move me from the love of God in Chrift Jefus my Lord. — O ! one hour mth God infi- nitely exceeds all the pleafures of this lower world. Towards the latter end of January, 1740-41. I grew more cold and dull in matters of religion, bv- m.eans of my oM temptation, ambition in my (ludies, —-But through divine goodnefs, a great and gencraj. awakening fpread itfelf over the college, about the latter end of February, in which .1 was much quicken- ed, and more abundantly engaged in religion. ([This awakening here fpoken of, was at the be- ginning of that extraordinary religious comm.otion through the land, which is frelh in every one's me- mory. This awakening was for a time very great and general at New-Haven ; and the college had no fmall fhare tn it : that fociety was greatly reformed, the fludentsin general became ferious, and many of them remarkably fo, and. much engaged in the con- cerns of their eternal falvation, . It could not be otherwife than" that one whofe heart had been fo drawn to God, fiiould be mightily- enlarged, animated, and engaged at the fight of fuch. an alteration made in the college,, the town, and land; and fo great an appearance of mens reforming their lives, and turning from their profanenefs and immorality, to ferioufriefs and concern for their falva- tion, and of religion's reviving and flourifhmg almoft every where. But as an intemperate zeal, foon mingled itfelf with that revival of religion : So Mr. Brainerd had the unhappinefs to havea tin6lure of iU One inflance of which it is necelTary fhould be relat-- ed, with its circumftances. In the time of the awakening at" coUcge-j feveral ftudents affociated themfelvcs, who were wont freely- to open themfelvcs one to another : Mr. Brainerd was one of this company. And it once happened, that he and two or three more of thefe his intimate friends were in the hall together, after Mr. Whit- tclfeyj one . of the tutors, had been to prayer there with the fcholars ; no other perfon now remaining in the hall, but Mr. Brainerd and thefe his companions, Mr. Whittelfey having been unufually pathetical in his prayer, one of Brainerd's friends alked him what I he thought of Mr.- Whittelfey ; he made anfwer, i He has no more grace than this chain'"' One hap- pening at that time to be near the hall over-heard thofe words, though he heard no name mentioned j i and knew not who the perfon v/as, which was thun cenfured ; he informed a certain woman who went and informed ihe re6lor, who fent for the man and examined him ; and he told the re6lor the v/ords that- he heard Brainerd utter, and informed him who were in the room with him at that time. Upon which the reclor fent for them; they were very backward to inform againft their friend, of that which they looked upon as private converfation, yet the re6lor compelled them to declare what he faid, and of whom. i he faid it. — Brainerd thought, that what he faid in private, was injurioully extorted from his friends, and - that it was injurioufly required of him to make a pub- i lie confelTion, before the v/hole college in the hallj- forwhat he had faid only in private converfation.— He not complying with this demand, and having, 1 gone once to the feparate meeting at New-haven, when forbidden by the reftor, and alfo having been accufed of faying concerning the reftor, that he won- dered he did not expeft to drop down dead for fin- ing the fcholars who followed Mr. Tennent to Mil- ford, though there was no proof of it, (and Mr,- Brainerd ever profeiTed that he did not remember his faying any thing to that purpofe ;) he was expelled - the college. The reader will fee, in the feqnel of Mr. Brainerd's life,* what his own thoughts afterwards were of his behaviour in thefe things, and in how Chriftian a manner he conducted himfelf, with refpe61; to this afiair :- though he ever, as long as he lived, fuppofed himfelf ^ Pariiadarly under- tlie daUy. Wednefday, Sept, 14^-1743: j ( '9 )■ himfelf much abufed, in the management of it, and- in what he fuffered in it. His expulfion was in the w'mtQV anno 1741-2, ^v'hile-: he was in his third year in college.] PART II. I Prm the time that he kgan to devote hir,ifelj to the ftudy of-" divinit)', tilt he was examined and licenfed to in c^ich, ^ [1\ /TR. Brainerd. the Tpring after his expulfion' XVa went to live with the Reverend Mr. Mills, ^ ofRipton. to folio V.' his ftudies v/ith him,- in order- . to bis being fitted for the work of the miniiiry ; where he fpent the greater part of the time till the affocia^ tion licenied him to preach.] — The following ac- count is in his own words. Thurfday, April 1, iy^2^- I feem to be declining . vith refped to my life and -warmth in divine things 0 that God would humble me deeply in the duft ! ^ 1 deicrve hell every day, for not loving my Lord- more, who has loved me. and given himfelf for " me ;" and every time I am enabled to exercife any ' grace, I am indebted to the God of all grace for fpe- cial aiTiflance. Where then is boafting ?'"' Surely *' it is excluded." fince w e depend on God for the j being and every aft of grace. Friday. April 2. In the afternoon I felt myfelfj. in fecret prayer, much reh^ied, calm, and ferenc What are all the ftorms of this low^er world, if J^efus by his fpirit does but come zvalking on thefeas ! — Some time pail:. I had much pleafure in the profpeft of the heathen's being brought home to Chriit, and defired ■ that the Lord would employ vie in that work : — but now my foul more frequently defires to die, to be rvltk'- Ckriji. O that my foul were wrapt up in love, and- my longing after God increafed ! Saturday, Apnl 3. I had an ill night laft night,. I- thought, if God would take me ta himfelf, my ibul.; would. \ { 20 } would exceedingly rejoice. O that I may be always humble and refigned to God, and that God would caufe my foul to be more fixed on himfelf, that I may be rnore fitted both for doing and fuffering ! Lord's day, April 4. O my bleffed God! Let me climb up near to him, and love, and long, and plea^, and wrefhlc, and reach, and ftretch after him., and for deliverance from the body of fm and death.— Alas I my foul mourned to think 1 ihould ever lofe fight of its beloved again. " O come. Lord Jefus, Amen." Tuefday^ April 6. I cried to God to wafti my. foul, and cleanfe me from my exceedi'^g filthinefs. . And 1 could think of undergoing the greateft fufferings, with pleafure ;- and found my felf willing (if God fliould fo Older it) to fuffer banifllmont from my native land, among the heathen, that i might db fomethnig for their falvation, in diftreffes and deaihs of any kind. — Then God gave me to wreftle earneft- ly for others, for the kingdom of Chrift in the world, and for my dear Chriftian friends. — I felt myfelf weaned from the world, and from my own reputa- tion, willing to be- defpi led, and to be a gazing-ftcck | for the world. It is impoflible for me to exprefs • what I then felt : I had not much joy, but a fcnfe of 1 the majefty of God, which made me tremble ; I faw myfelf mean and vile, which made me more willing that God fhould do what he would with me; . it was all infinitely reafonable. | Wednefday, April 7. I had not fo much fervency in prayer. — —At noon I fpent fome time in fecretj with fervency, but fcarce any fweetnefs. Thurlday, April 8, I had hopes refpefting the heathen. O that God would bring in numbers of, them to Chrift ! I cannot but hope I fhall fee that gloriousday, Every thing in this world feems ex- ceeding vile and little to me : I look fo to myfelf. Saturday, April 10. I fpent much time in fecret prayer this morning, and not without fome comfdrt :! but am fo low, and feel fo little of the fenfible pre-' ience.of Giodj that 1 hardly know what to call faith,j andj ( 21 y and am made to " poffefsthe fms of my youth/* and- the dreadful fm of my nature, and am all fin ^ I cannot think, nor aft. but every motion is hn. — Yet 1 feel fome faint hopes, that God will, of his in-' finite mercy, return. Lcrd'>day, April ii. Afterwards I had fweet- iiefs in the thoughts of arriving at the heavenly v/orld., O for the happy day ! After public worfliip God- gave me fpecial alTiftance in prayer ; i wreflled with I m.y dear Lord, with much fv/eelnefs ; and intercef- i fion was a fweet and delightful employment to mc -r — In the evening, as I was viewing the light in the ■ north^ I was delighted in cont.emplation on the glori- ous morning of the refurreftion. Monday. April 12. This m^orning the Lord was. pieafed. to lift up the light of his countenance upon mc in fecret prayer, andraade the feafon very precio us to my foul. I felt my felf exceeding: calm, and quitc- refigned to God, refpefting my future employment,. zvhe?i and wliere he pieafed ; my faith lifted me above- the world, and removed all thofe mountains, that I could not look over of late : I wanted not the favour, ef men to lean upon ; for I knew Chrift's favour was infinitely better, and that it was no matter zoke?2. nop. zohere^ nor how Chrill: fnould fend me. nor what, trials he fliould ftill e.xercile me with, if I might be prepared for his work and will. 1 now found fweet- ly revived in my mind the wonderful difcovery o£- infinite wifdom in all the difpenfations of God to- wards m,e, which I had a little before I met with my great trial at college ; every thing appeared full of the - wifdom of God. Wednefday. April 14. My foul longed for com- munion with Chrifb, and for the morlification of in- dwelling corruption, efpecially fpiritual pride. O- there is a fweet day coming, wherein '* the weary will be at refl!" My foul has enjoyed much fweet- nefs this day in the hopes of its fpeedy arrival, Thurfday, April 15. My defires centered in God, and I found a fenfible attraftion of foul after him IJon^ for Go^/. and a conforniity to his will, in in-- ward'. ward hoHnefs, ten thoufand times more than for any diing here below. Lord's day, April 18. I retired early this morn- ing into the woods for prayer; and was enabled to plead with fervency for the advancement of Chrift's- kingdom. At night I law myfelf infinitely indebt- ed to God, and hard a? view of my Ihort-comings : it' feemed to me, that I had done nothing for God, and that 1 had lived to him but a few hours; of my life. Monday, April 19. I fet apart this day for faftingi and prayer to God for his grace, to prepare me for the work of the minrftry, and in his own time to fend me into his harveft." i felt a power of interceilion for the advancement of the kingdom of my dear^ Lord; and withaly a fweet refignation. and even joy 'm the thoughts of fuffering hardfliips, diftreiTes, yea, " death itfelf, in the promotion of it. in the afternoon,- God was with me of a truth." O it was blelfed company indeed ! God enabled me fo to agonize in prayer, that I was quite wet with fweat, though in. the fliade, and the wind cool. My foul was drawn out very much for the world ; I grafted for multi- tudes of fouls. I had more enlargement forfinners^ than for the children of God ; though I felt as if I could fpend my life in cries for both. I never felt iuch an entire weanednefs from this Vv^orld, and fo- much refigned to Goci in every thin^r.- — -.Q that inay always live to and upon my blelfed God ! Tuefday, April 20. This day I -am twenty -four years of age. O how much mercy have I received' the year paft!; How often has God '* caufed his goodnefs to pafa before me!" And how poprly have L a-niwered the vows I made this^time twelvemonth, to be wholly the Lord's^ to be for ever devoted to hi& fervice ! The Lord, help me to live more to his glory. This has been a fweet day to me : bleffed be God. 1 think my foul was never fo drawn out in intercef- Jkon for others, I had; a fervent wreftie with the Lord ; for my enemies ; and 1 hadly ever fo longed to live to- Godf and to be altogether devoted to him. Lard's d§y, April 25.. This morning I fpeiit about two ( n ) "two hours in fecret, asd was enabl-ed more than or- dinarily to agonize for immortal Ibuls ; though it was •early in the morning, and the fun fcarcely fhined at all, yet my body was quil€ wet with fweat. 1 felt myfelf much p relied, as frequently of late, to plead for the meeknefs and calmneis of the Lamb of God. O it is. a fweet difpofition, heartily to forgive all injuries, to wifh our greateft enemies as well as we do our own fouls J BlePfed Jefus, may I daily be more, and more conformed to thee! At night I was exceedingly melt- ed with divine love, and had a fenfe of the bleifed- nefs of the upper world. Thofc words hung upon me, with much fweetnefs, Plal. Ixxxiv, 7. I hey- go from ftrength to ftrength, every one of them- in Zion appeareth before God." O the near accefs that God fometimes o;ivesus in our addreffes to him I This o may well be termed appearing before God j it is fo in- deed, in the true fpiritual fenfe, 1 have not had fuch power of intercelfion thefe many months, both for God's children, and for dead fmners. I longed for the coming of my dear Lord : I longed to jom the angelic hofts in praifes, wholly free fromimperfeftion. O the bleffed moment haftens! All I want is to be more holy, more like my dear Lord. O for fanftifi- cation ! My very foul pants for the complete reftora- tion of the blelfed image of my Saviour ; that I may be fit for the bleiied enjoyments and employ- ments of the heavenly world. Monday, April 26. I continued in a fweet frame of mind; but in the afternoon felt fom.ething of fpi- xitual pride. God was pleafed to make it a humbling feafon. ,My foul exceedingly longs for that blelfed ftate of perfeftion, of deliverance from all fm ! At night, God enabled me to give my foul up to him, to call myfelf up-on him, to be ordered and difpofed of according to his fovereign pieafure ; and I enjoyed great , peace and confolatron in fo doing. My foul took fw^et delight in God : my thoughts freely and fweetly centered in him. Q that i could fp end eveiy .jnuuieat of my life to his glory I luefday, April 27. 1 retired for fecret devotions ; and ( M ) and "God was pleafed to pour fuch ineffable comfortj into my foul, that I could do nothing for fome tinl^ but fay over and over, " O my fweet Saviour I G| my fweet Saviour ! whom have I in heaven but thee i And there is none upon earth, that I defire befidc thee," If I had had a thoufand lives, my foul woull gladly have laid them all down at once to have been with Chrift. My foul never enjoyed fo much o"i lieaven before ; it was the moft refined communion ^dth God I ever felt : I never before felt fo great a '^legree of reiignation. -In the afternoon 1 with* •drew to meet with my God, but found myfelf much declined. 1 mourned over th body of death that is in : it grieved me exceedingly, that I could not \pray to and praife God with my heart full of love, — O that my foul might never offer any dead cold| ifervices to my God I Wednefday, April 28. I withdrew to my ufua^! place of retirement, and fpent about two hours in fe- cret. I felt much as I did yefterday -morning, oniyi weaker and more overcome. I feemed to hang wholly on my dear Lord; wholly weaned from all; other dependencies. 1 knew not what to fay to myl God, but only lean on his bojom, dLS it were, and i^reathe out my dehres after a perfeft conforrrjty t© him in all things. Thirfhing defires, and infatiable longings, pofTeffed my foul after perfe6l holinefsj God was fo precious to my foul, that the world withi 01 all its enjoyments was infinitely vile : I had no more value for the favour of n~en, than for pebbles: The Lord was my all; and he over-rukd all; which greatly delighted me. i think, my faith and depen-: dence on God fcarce ever rofe fo h^gh. 1 faw him fuch a fountain of goodnefs, that it fecmed impof-i tedi fible 1 fhould -diilruii him again, or be -any way anxi- ous about any thing tbat fliould happen to me. In the evening my heart feemed fweetly to melt, and, was humbled for indwelling corruption, and I " mourned like a dove." i felt that all my unhappi^ ii'il ncfs arofe from my being a ftnner ; for with reiigna-j He tion I could bid welcome all other trials ; but iin - . hung ( *3 ) >iiing heavy upon me : for God difcovered to me tlie corruption of my heart; fo that I went to bed with a heavy heart, becaufe I was a fmner : though I did not in the leaft doubt of God's love. O that God would ^' purge away all my drofs, and take away my tin." Friday, April 30. Nothing grieves meTo much, as that I cannot live conftantly to God's glor)\ I Gould bear any fpiritual conflicls; if I could but have my heartaW the while burning toitlmi me with. lovetoGod; but this is impoffible : for when I fed this I can- not be dejefted, but only rejoice in my Saviour, who has delivered me from the reigning power, and will fhortly deliver me from the indwelling of fin. Lord's day, Mays. God was pleafed this morn- ing to give me fuch a fight of myfelf, as made me ap- pear very vile in m.y ovv n eyes : I felt corruption fiir- ring in my heart, which 1 could by no means fup- preis : I was exceeding weak, and almofl fick witk my inward trials. Monday, May3. I fpenttheday in faftingandprayert God gave me much power of Vvreftling for his caufc and kingdom : God was witli me all the day, and I was more above the world~ than ever in my life. Lord's day. May 9. I never felt fo much of the curfed pride of my heart, as well as the ftubbornnefs of my will before. O what a wretch I am ! I could not fubmit to be nothing, and to lie down in the duft. Oh that God would humble me I I felt myfelf fach 4 Snner, all day, that I had fcarce any comfort. Oh when fliall I be " delivered from the body of this death I" I greatly feared, left through ftupidity I Hiould lofe the benefit of thefe trials. O that they might be fanftified to my foul ! Nothing feemed to ouch me but this, that I was a fmner. Thurfday, May 13. I faw fo much of the wicked- lefs of ip.y heart, that I longed to get away from ray- elf, 1 never before thought there was fo much fpi- itual pride in my foul : I was almoft prelfed to death ith my vilenefs. Oh what a body of death is there in le ! Lord, deliver my foul, O the clofeft walk with. {\\ C Goat, ( ^6 ?) God is the fwectefi heaven that can be enjoyed-on earth ! Friday, May i 4. I waited on a council of nninif- tcrs, and fpread before them the treatment I had met v/ith from tlie reftor and tutors of Yale college ; who thought it advifeable to intercede for me with the reftor and truflees, and to intreat them to reftore me to. my former privileges in college.* Saturday, June 12. 1 fpent much time in prayer this morning, and enjoyed much fweetnefs :— Felt infatiable longings after God : I wondered how poor fouls do to live, that have 7io God. — The worldj with all its enjoyments, quite vanifhed. 1 fee my- felf very helplefs : but I have a bleffed God to go to. I longed exceedingly " to be diffolved, and to be with Chrifl, to behold his glory." Oh, my weak vweary foul longs to arrive at my Fathers houfe ! Monday,- June 14. I felt fomething of the fweet- nefs of communion with God, and the coiiftraining -force 01 his love : 1 fet apart this day for fafting and prayer, to intreat God to blefsme with regard to the great work of preaching the go/pel j and that the Lord would return to me, " and fhew m.e the light of his countenance." Juft at night, the Lord vihted me marvelloufly in 'prayer : I think my foul never was in fuch an agony before : I felt no re- ftraint ; for the treafures of divine grace were opened to me : I wreftled for my abfent friends, for the in- gathering of fouls, for multitudes of poor fouls, and for many that I thought were the children of God, perfonally, in many difhant places. I was in fuch an agony, till near dark, that i was ail over wet with fweat : but yet it feemed to me that 1 had wafted away the day, and had done nothing. Oh, my dear ]efus did fiveut Mood for poor fouls,!- 1 longed for mor-e compailion towards them. - ' Tuefday, * The application which was then made on his behalf ^ had ; not the dejlred faccefs. ( ) Tueiday, June 15. I had the mod ardent lon^. ings after God, that ever I felt in my life : at noon, in'fecret, I could do nothing, but tell my dear Lord^ that he knew I longed for nothing but him/elf, no- thing but holuiffs ; that he had given m^e thefe defires, and he onfy could give me the thing defired. I never feemed to be fo unhinged from myfelf, and to be fo wholly devoted to God, My heart was fwallowed UD in God moft of the day. In the evening I had fdch a view of the foul's being as it Vv^ere-enlarged, to contain more holinefs, that my foul feemed ready- to feparate from my body, to obtain it, I then wrefhled in an agony for divine blefTings ; had my heart drawn out in prayer for fomie Chrifcian friends^ beyond what I ever had before. -I feel different- ly now from what ever I did under any f wee t enjoy- ments before, rnore engaged to live to God for ever„ Oh how fnort do I fall of my duty in my fweeted moments! Frida)?-, June 1 8. Confidering my great unfitnefs £or the mimjhy, and total inability to do -any thing for the glor}^of God that vv^ay. I fet apart this day for prayer to God, and found God gracioufly near ; once in particular, while I waspleadmg for more compaf- fion for immortal fouls, .my /z^ar/^ feemed to be opened at once, and 1 was enabled to cry with great ardency. Oh, I v>7as diflrelfed, to think, that I fnould offer fach dead cold fervices to the living God J My foul feemed to breathe after holinefs, a life of conftantde- votednefs to God. But I am almoft loff fometimes in the purfuit of this bleffednefs, and ready to link, becaufe I continually fall fhort. O that the Lord would help me to hold out, yet a httle while, till the happy hour of deliverance combes ! Lord's day, June 20. Spent mAich time alone. My foul longed to be holy, and reached after Godj I hungered and thirjted ; but was not fatisfied. My foul hung on God, as my only portion. O that I could grow in grace more abundantly eveiyday ! Tuefday, June 22. I was fwettly compofed and refigned to God's will; was enabled to leave myfelf C- 2.: and- ( ) and all' my concerns with him, and to have my whole dependence upon hini : my fecret retirement was very refrefhing : it appeared fuch a happinefs to have God. for my portion, that 1 had rather be any other i creature in this lower creation, than not come to the : enjoyment of God: I had rather be a beaft, than a man, without God, if I were to live here to eterni- ' ty. Lord, endear thyfelf more to me ! • Wednefday, June 30, Spent this day alone in the " woods, in fafting and prayer; underwent the moil dreadful confliBs in- m.y foul, that ever I felt; I faw myfelffo vile, that I was ready to fay, " I fhall now perifli by the hand of Saul. I almoft concluded, i \ had no power to fhand for the caufe of God, but was i " afraid of the fhaking of a leaf," Spent almoll the \ whole day in prayer, inceilantly. I could not bear j to think, of Chriftians fhewing me any refpeSl. I al- .•! inofl defpaired of doing any fervice in the world ; I | could not feel any hope refpecting the heathen, j which uled to afford me fome refrefhment in the ; darkeflhours, I fpent the day in the bitUmcfs of my JouU \ •Near night I enjoyed fome fweetnefs in prayer. Saturday, July ^. My heart feemed again to fink, 1 The difgrace I was laid under at college, feemed to damp me, as it opens the mouths of oyjpofers. I had ] no refuge but in God. BlefTed be his name, that I ] may go to him at all times, and find him d.prefent help, \ Lord's day, July 4,.. In the evening I withdrew, J and enjoyed a happy feafon in feciet: God was | leafed to give me the exercife of faith, and thereby | rought the invifible and etenial world near to my 1 foul. I hoped, that my weary pilgrimage would be j Jfiort ; that it would not be long before 1 was brought j to my Father's houfe: but I was fweetiy refigned to | God's will, to tarry his time,, to do his work, and | fuffer his pleafure. I felt pleafed, to be little^ to be { nothing, and to lie in thtdvjt. I enjoyed life and fweet j confolation in pleading for the dear children of God, j and the kingdom of Chrift in the world; and. my ^ foul earnefliy breathed after holinels, and the enjoy- 1 me^it \ ( ^9 ) ment of God. O come. Lord Jefus ! come quick- - | ly. Amen," Monday, July 19. My defires feem efpecially to ■ be carried out after weanednefs from the worlds per- ' fe6t deadnefs to it, and to be even crucified to all its - ' allurements. My foul long,s to feel itfelf more of a pilgrim 2Lnd/tranger here below; that nothing may di- vert me from preiTmg through the lonely defert, till ^ I arrive at my Father's houfe. Thurfday, July 22. Journeying from Southbury to Ripton, I called at a houfe. where being kindly - entertained, I w^as filled with amazement and {hame, - that God fhould ftir up the hearts of any to fliew fo much kindnefsto fuch a dead dog l and was fenfi- • ble, how exceeding vile it is, not to be wholly de- voted to God. 1 wondered, that God would fuffer any of his creatures to feed and fuftain me from time time. Thurfday. July 29, I was examined by the Aflb- - ciation met at Danbury, as to my learning, and ex- - periences in religion, and received a licence from. ■ them to preach the gofpel of Chrifl:. Afterwards I felt much devoted to God : joined in prayer with one of the minifters ; and went to bed refolving to live- - devoted to God all my days. P A R T III. Frord ike time of his being licenfed to preach, till toas f;?^^-'" - mined in New-Yorkj and appointed Miflionary to tk Indians. - FRIDAY, July 30, 1742. I rode from Danbuiy to Southbury] preached there from 1 Pet. iv. 6, 1 had much of the comfortable prefence of God in the exercife : I feemed to have power with God in - prayer, and power to get hold of the hearts of the ^ people, C 3 , Lora> - ( 3^ ) Lord's day, Auguft 8. In the morning I felt com- fortably in fecret prayer ; my foul was refrelhed with the hopes of the Heathen's coming to Chrift ; i was much rehgned to God, and thought it was no matter., what became of me. Thurlday, Augufc 12. This , morning I was exer^ . cifed with fore inward trials : 1 had no power to pray j.- but feemed fhut out from, God, I had in a great mea- fure loft my hopes of. God's fending me among the heathen, and of feeing them flock to Chrift. 1 faw fo much of my heihTa vilenefs, that 1 appeared worfe to myfelf than any devil: I wondered that God would let me live, and wondered, that people did. not ftone me, much more that they would ever hear me preach! It feemed as though I neither could nor , fliould preach any more : yet about nine or ten ' o'clock, the people came, and I was forced to preach. And bleffed be God, he gave me his prefencs ■ and fpirit : fo that 1 fpoke with power from Job xiv, 14. Some Indians cried out in great diftrefs,* and ali . appeared greatly concerned,. After we. had, prayed and exhorted them to.feek the Lord with conftancy, and hired an Englifh woman to keep a kind of fchool among them, w-e came away about one o'clock, and came to Judea, about fifteen or fixteen miles. There God was pleafed to vifit my foul with much comforto BielTed be the Lord for all things I meet with, Tuefday, Auguft 17. I was exceedingly deprefted. - in fpirit ; it cyts and wounds my .heart, to think how . inuch /e/jf -exaltation, Jpiritual pride, and warmth of tem- per, I h3.vt formerly: intermingled with my endeavours to promote God"s work : and fometimes I long to lie down at the feet of oppofers, and confefs what a poor vCreature I have been, and ftiil am. Oh, the Lord forgive me, and make rne for the future, " wife as, a ferpent, and harmlefs as a dove 1'^ - Thurfday, Auguft 19. This day^ being about to ; go from Mr. Bellamy's at Bethlehem, where I had refided fom.e time, 1 prayed with him, and two or three It zoas in a place near Kent, in the wejiern bordws €mmdiQus.-^ tvhcn there is a nutnber oj fydicms» ( 31 ) three other Chriftian friends, and we gave ourfelvos to God with all our hearts, to be his for ever: eter^ nity looked veiy near to me. If I never fee them again in this world, it feemed but a few moments be= fore I fhould meet them in another. Friday^ .Auguft 20. . I appeared fo . vile to myfelfj that I hardly dared to think of being feen, efpecialty on account .of fpiritual pride. However, to-night l enjoyed a. fvveet hour alone with God, (at Ripton :) I .was lifted above the frowns and flatteries of this world, had a fweet reliih. of heavenly joys, and my foul did as it were get into the eternal world, and really tafte of heaven, Monday, Auguft 23. I had a fweet feafon in fe- cret prayer : the Lord drew near to my foul, and fil- led me with peace and confolation. My foul tafted the fweetnefs of the upper world : and was drawn cut in pray-er for the world, that it might come to Ciirift ! , Monday, Auguft 30. I prayed with a Chriilian friend or two ; and, 1 think, fcarce ever launched fo far into the eternal world ; I got fo far out on the broad ocean, that my foul triumphed over all the evils on the Ih ores of mortality. — Time, and all its gay amufements and cruel difappointments, never appeared £o inconfiderable to me before; I faw my-^ feif nothing, and my foul reached after God with in- te.nfe defire. 1 knew^ I had never lived a moment to him, as I fliould do: indeed it appeared to, me, I had never done any . thing in Chrifhianity ; my foul longed with a vehement defire to live to God, Thurfday, September s. I preached from John vi. 67. and God affifted me ; more efpecially in my firil prayer ; my foul feemed then to launch quite into the eternal world, and to be feparated from this, ■ Aftenvardsl preached again from Ifa. v. 4. God gave me fome afhftance ; but I faw myfelf a poor worm. Saturday,^ September 4. God enabled me to wreftle ardently for the Redeemer's kingdom ; and fer my dc^i brother John, that God would make him . ( 32' ) Him more of a pilgrim and ftranger on the earth, and fit him for fingular ferviceablenefs in the world ; and my heart fweetly exulted in the Lord, in the thoughts of any diftreffes that might alight on him or me, in the advancement of Chrift's kingdom, Wednefday, September 8. I felt exceedingly weaned from the world. In the afternoon I dif- courfed ©n divine things with a Chriftian friend, whereby we were both refreflied. Then I prayed,! with a fweet fenfe of the bleffedncfs of communion with God ; I think I fcarce ever enjoyed more of God in any one prayer. I knew not that ever I faw fo much of my own nothingnefs in my life ; never won- dered fo, that God allowed me to preach his word; never was fo aftonifhed as now. Friday, September lo. I longed with intenfe de- fire after God; my whole foul feemed impatient to be conformed to him, and to become " holy, as he is holy." — in the afternoon, I prayed with a dear friend, and had the prefence of God with us; out fouls united together to reach after a bleffed immorta- lity, to be unclothed of the body of fm and death, and to enter the bleffed world, where no unclean thing enters, O, with what intenfe defire did our fouls long for that bleffed day, that we might be freed from fm, and for ever live to and in our God ! Thurfday, September 16. I enjoyed much of God in fecret prayer : felt an uncommon refignation, to k and do what God pleafed. Some days paft, I felt great perplexity on account of my paft conduft : my titternefsy and want of Chriftian kindnefs and love has been very diftrej/i?ig to my foul : the Lord forgive me my unchrijiian warmth^ and want of a fpirit of meeknefs ! Saturday, September 18. I felt compaffion for! fouls, and mourned I had no more. 1 feel much more kindnefs, meeknefs, gentlenefs, and love to- wards all mankind, than ever. I longed to be at the feet of my enemies and perfecutors : enjoyed fome fweetne% ( 33 ) i^Ajecmeis, in feeling my foul conformed to ChrlfE Jefus, and given away to him for ever. [Through this, and the two follov/ing weeks, he palled through a variety of exercifes ; he was frcr quently dejetlcd. and felt inward diftreffcs : and fometimes funk into the depths of meiancholy : at which turns, he was not exercifed about the ftate of his foul, with regard to the favour of God,, but about his own finfui infirmitieSj, and unhtnef^ for God's fervrce. His mind appears fometimes extrem.ely de- prefTed v^ith a fcnfe of inexpreffible vilenefs. But in the mean time, he fpeaks ofm.any feafons of com- fait and fpiritual reFiefhmert.]} Lord's day, October 17. 1 had a fenfe of my help- leifnefs ; faw that I raufh be dependent on God for all I want; and efpecially when I went to the place of public worfhip; 1 found I could not fpeak a word for God without his fpecial afhftance : 1 went into the affembly trembling, as 1 frequently do. under a.. fcnfe of my infufEciency to do any thing, as I ought to do. But it pleafed God to afford me much a£- ^ftance, and there feemed to be a conhderable effe£b. on the hearers. O that I might be faithful to the death, fulfilling as an hireling my day," till the fhades of the evening of life (hall free m.y foul from- the toils of the day ! This evening I felt fuch longing defires after deliverance from fm, and conformity to God, as melted my heart. Oh, I longed to be " de- livered from this body of death !" to be conformed :o God entirely, fully, and for ever.— 1 fcarce sver preach without being firftviiited with inward- conflifts and fore trials. Blelfed be the Lord for thefe -rials and diftrelfes, as they are blelied for my humb- ling. Monday, Oclober 18. I felt fome fweetnefs, but was ftill preffed through trials of foul. My life is a conftant mixture of confolations and conflifts, and will be fo till I arrive at the world of fpirits. Tuefday. Otlober, 19. This morning and laf!: •light, felt a fweet longing in my foul after holinefs : ny foul feemed fo to reach and flretch towards the mark I { 34 ) rna-rk of perfect fanclity, that it was ready to Brealc. with longings. Thurfday, Oftober 21. I had a very deep fenfe of the vanity of the world,, had little more regard to it, than if I had been to go into eterriity the next hour. Through divine goodnefs, I l^lt very ferious and fo- lemn. O, I love to live on the brink of eternity !i This gives me a fweet,. awful, and reverential fenfe of God and divine things, when I fee myfelf as it were . ftanding before the judgment feat of Chrijt, Friday, 06lober 2.2. I was uncommonly weaned: from the v.'orld : my foul delighted to be a ftranger and a pilgrim on the earths 1 felt a difpohtion never to have any thing to do with this world ; the charafter; given of feme of the antient people of God, in Heb. xi. 13. was very pleafmg to me, " They eonfelled;. that they were pilgrims and ftrangers on the earth," and O that I could always do fo ! — -It is fweet to be- thus weaned from friends, and from myfelf, and* dead to the world, that 1 may live wholly to and upom. ihebieil^d God, ' Monday, October 26; [At Turky-Hiils] In the evening I enjoyed the divine prefence : it was a I fweet and comfortable feafon : my foul longedfor God,, for the living God : enjoyed a fweet folemnity of fpirit, and longing deure after the recovery of the 'divine image: " Then fhall I be fatisfied, v/hen I fhall .awake in God's likenefs," and never before. I Tuefday, Cftober 26. [At Weft-SuffieldJ I un- derwent the mofl dreadful diftrelfes, under a fenfc:| of my own unworthinefs : it feemed to me, I deferv-j c.d rather to be driven out of the place, than to have any body to come to hear me preach. And verily j my fpiritswere fo depreffed, that it was impoffible I fhould treat immortal fouls with faithfulnefs : I could not deal clofely and faithfully with them., I felt fo infinitely vile in myfelf. Oh, what duf and afies I am, to think of preaching the gofpel to others ! In- deed I never can be faithful for one moment, butj fhall certainly daub with untempered mortar,"! if God do not grant me fpecial help, — -In the tven-i i .( 35 ) ing, I went to the mseting-lioufe. and it looked to me near as eafy for one to rife out of the grave and preach, as for me. HoweveTj God was pleafed to hft me up, and enable me to preach, O the wonderful goodnefs of God to fo vile a fmner ! AVednefday, Oftober 27. I was not a little con- cerned about preaching in the afternoon ; felt ex- ceedingly without ftrmgth, went into tiie houfe. afham- ed to fee any com.e to hear fuch an unfpeakably worthiefs wretch. However, God enabled me to fpeak vvdth clearnefs, power, and pungency. Thurfday, November 4. [At Lebanon] I was concerned that I had no more fenfe of my infufhci- nucy and unvv'orthinefs. O it is fweet h'ing in the duft '! But it is diftrening to feel in my foul that hell of cor- ruption. — In the afternoon I h?id a fenfe of the fweet- neis of a ftri6l;. clofe, and confhanc devotednefs toGod, and felt a pleafmg yet painfal concern, left I fhould ■*^-->end fome moments without God, O may I alw^ays to God! In the evening I felt an mtenfe de- to fpend every moment for God. —God is un- fjeakably gracious tome continually: In times paft, he has given me inexpreihble fweetnefs in the per- formance of duty, frequently rny foul has enjoyed much of God ; but has been ready to fay, " Lord, it is good to be here;'' and fo to indulge floth. But of late God has been pleafed to keep my foul hungry.^ almoft continually ; fothat I have been filled with a hind of pleafmg pain. When I really enjoy God, I feel my defires of him the more inf:Uiable, and. my thirftmgs after holinefs the more unquenchable ; and the Lord will not allow me to feel as though I were Jully fupplied and fatisfied, but keeps me ftill reach- ing forward : and I feel barren and empt), as though I could not live, without more of God in me : I feel afhamed and guilty kfcre God, Oh.! I fee, the law is fpiritual, but i am carnal." I do not, I cannot live to God. Oh for holinefs I Oh for mors of God in my foul ! Oh this plcahng pain ! It makes my foul prefs after God ; the language of it L, '* Then ihail I be fatisfied. Vv^hen I awake in God's likenefsJ^ ( ) (Pfal. xsvii.2J/.) but never, never before : and coti' lequently 1 am engaged to prefs towards the markj'* day by day. O that 1 may feel this continual hunger, and not be retarded, but ratherbe animated by every- clufterfroni Canaan, to reach forward in the narrow way, for the full enjoyment and poffefiion of the heavenly inheritance ! O that I may never loiter in my heavenlyjourney. Lord's day, November 7, it feemed as if fuch an unholy wretch as I never could arrive at that blef- fedneis, to be " holy, as God is holy." At noon I longed for fanftification, and conformity to God, Gh. that is the all. the all I The Lord help m« to prefs after God for ever. Monday, November 8. I longed for an arrival iia the heavenly country, the blelfed paradife of God. Through divine goodnefs, I have fcarce feen the day, for two months, but death has looked fo plea- fant to r/ie, that I could have rejoiced the prejevt fhould be my laft ; and I truft that 1 fhall be able to fay, O death, where is thy fting !" and, " O grave, where is thy victory !" Friday, November 19, [At New-Haven] I re- ceived a letter from the Rev. Mr. Pemberton of New- York, defiring me fpeedily to go down thither, and confult about the Indian affairs in thofe parts, and to meet certain gentlemen there that were intruded with thofe afPairs. I retired with two or three friends, and prayed ; and was enabled to leave myfelf and all my concerns with God. Wednefday, November 24. Lcamc to New-York; felt ftill much concerned about the importance of my bufmefs ; put up many earneft requefts to Godj was confufed with the noife and tumult of the city : enjoyed but little time alone with God ; but my foul longed after him. Thurfday, November 25. I fpent much time in prayer and iupplication : was examined by fome gen- [ tlemen of ray Chriftian experiences, and my ac- quaintance v/ith divinity, and fome other ftudies, in order to my improvement in that important affair of ( 37 } cf gofpcllizing tlie Heathen* : was made fenfible of my great ignorance and unBtnefs for public fervice : I had the moft abafmg thoughts of myfclf, I think, that; ever I had ; I thought myfelf the worft wretch tha,fc ever lived : it pained my very heart, that any body fiiould fliew me any refpett. Alas ! me thought^ how fadly they are deceived in me! how mifsrably- would they be difappointed, if they knew my inude! Oh my heart] — -And in this depreffed condition, I was forced to go and preach to a confiderable affem- bly, before fome grave and learned minifters ] but felt fijch a preiTare from a fenfe of my vilenefs, ig^i norance, and unntnefs to appear in public, that I was almoft overcome with it ; my foul was gri;v-ed for the congregation, that they iliould fit there to ■hear fuch a dead dog as I preach ; I tliought myfelf infinitely indebted to the people,, and longed that God would reward them with his grace, * Thefe genikmai that examined Mr, Brahienl^ VJsrt the correjpondmts in New-YorJu Kew-Jerjcy, and FennfyU vania^ of the honourabk focicty in Scotland for prop 2gatrtiy Chrijtian k.nozvledge j to z^uiom zoa,s committed the manayct ment of their affairs in thofe parts ^ and zaho were now met Nezu-YGrk. P A R T IV. $'rom the time of his king appQi?ited Mii^ou^iry , to his e)u trance on his irdfjion arnong the I.aiiaa^ at Kauaaiarieck, - RIDAY, November 26, l had ftill a fbnfb of my own vilcneG; and endeavoured 2.s mrach as I " m;:^ to keep alone. Oh, what a nothing, \vhat (.'.. 'It and aih.es am I.!— I enje^-ed iome comfort in Ipiv - dincv irjy \:omplaint§ before God. Nov. 27. I com.mitted my foul to Gotl wi: ' mne in the morning; came av/avv/ith a diilrcihnaj ( 38 ) fenfe of my unfpeakable unworthinefs. Surely I may well love all my brethren : for none of them all is as vile as I ; whatever they do outwardly, yet it feems to me none is confcious of fo much inward iin. O my leannefs, my barrennefs, my paft bitternefs, and want of a gofpel-temper ! Wednefday, December i. My foul breathed af- ter God, in longing dehres oi conformity to him : my foul was brought to reft itfelf, and all on his rich grace, and felt ftrength to do or fufl'er any thing that divine providence fhould allot me. [Within the fpace of the next nine days, he went a journey from Newton to Haddam, his native town; and after flaying there fome days, returned again into the weftern part of Connefticut, and camiC to South- bury,] Saturday, December it* I converfed with a dear friend, to whom I had thought of giving a liberal education, that he might he fitted for the gofpel-mi- iiiftry. 1 acquainted him with my thoughts in that matter, and fo left him to conhder of it, till I fliould fee him again* Then 1 rode to Bethlehem, to Mr. Bellamy's lodgings ; and fpent the evening with him. m fweet converiation and prayer. Lord's day, December 12. I felt a diftreffing need of divine help ; I went to meeting trembling : but it pleafed God to afiift m.e in prayer and fermon : I ihink, my foul fcarce ever penetrated fo far into the immaterial world, nor were my devotions ever fo much refined, and free from grofs conceptions and i naginations. I preached v/ith fome fweetnefs, from Matth. vi. 33. But feek ye firft the kingdom of God," &c. and in the afternoon from Rom. xv. 30, BiefTed be God, I have reafon to think, that my reli- gion is become more fpiritual, by means of my late inward conflifts. May 1 always be willing that God ilrould ufe his own methods with me ! — 1 felt much of the fweetnefs of religion, and the tendernefs of the gofpel-temper : I found a dear love to all mankind, and was afraid of fcarcely any thing fo much as left fome ( 39 ) fome motion of anger or refentment fhould, fomc time or other, creep into my heart. Lord's day, December 19. At the facram.ent of the Lord's fupper, 1 feemed Ttrong in the Lord ; and the world, with all its frowns and flatteries, in a great meafare difappeared, fo that my foul had no- thing to do with them : and I felt a difpoiition to be wholly and for ever the Lord's. Tuefday, December 21. I had a fenfe of my in=- fufficicncy for any public v/oik, as well as to live to God. 1 rode over to Derby, and preached there : it pleafed God to give me fweet alTiftance. and to enable m.e to fpeak with a foft and tender power and energy. We had afterwards a comfortable even- ing in fmging and prayer: God enabled me to pray with as mmch fpirituality and fweetnefs as I have done for fometim-e : my mind feemed to be uncloth- ed of fenfe and imagination, and was in a meafure let into the v/orld of fpirits. This day was, I truPc, made profitable to a number of us, to advance our fouls in hclinefs and conformity to God: theglorybe to him for even Amen. How blelfed it is to grov/ more and more like God ! Lord's day, December 26. I felt much fweetnefs and tendernefs in prayer, efpecially my whole foul feemed to love my wont enemies, and I was enabled to pray for thofe that are ftrangers and enemies to God with a great degree of foftnefs and pathetic fer- vour, Monday, December 27. I enjoyed a precir-.r^ feafon ; 1 had a fweet fenfe of the pure fpiritualiiy of the religion of ChrifL Jefus. In the evening, i preached with much freedom, power and pungency. 0 the tendernefs I felt in my foul 1 if ever I felt the temper of Chrift, it was now. Bleffed be my God, 1 have feldom enjoyed a more comfortable andprofi- taVle day than this. O that I could fpend all my time for God ! Friday, January 14, 1742-3. My fpiritual con- fl:£ls were unfpeakably dreadful, heavier than the ijiountain: and overflowing floods ; I feemed i?^cloC D 2. cd, ■ ( 40 ) ed, as it were, in hell itfelf : I was deprived of all f'-r fe of God, even of the being of a God; and that V as n-.y mifery. Ihis was diftrefs, the nearefl a-kin tn i! c clamned's torments, that I ever endured : their ii r;iicnt. I am fure, will confift much in a privation <.od, and confeqaently of all good. l"his taught r.ic the abfolute dependence of a creature upon the -Creator, for every crumb of happinefs it enjoys. Oh ! I feel that if there is no God, though I might live for €ver here, and enjoy not only this, but ail other worlds, I fnould be ten thoufand times more mifera- ble than a toad. My foul was in fuch anguifh I could not eat, but felt, as 1 fuppofed a poor wretch would, lhat isjufc going to the place of execution. I was al- 5nofb fwailowed up with anguifh, when I faw people gathering together to hear m.e preach. How- ever, 1 went to the houfe of God, and found not much relief in the fir ft prayer: But afterwards God was pleafcd to give me freedom and enlargement, and i fpcnt the evening comfortably. Lord's day, January 23. I fcarce ever felt myfelf vfo unfit to cxift, as now : I faw I w^as not worthy of a place among the Indians, where I airi going : I iliouaht I fhould be afhamed to look them in the o face, and m.uch more to have any refpeft fhewn me. ■ ('ndccd 1 felt myfelf banifhed from the earth, as if all places were too good for fuch a wretch as 1 : I thouglvt 1 flioiild be afnamed to go among the veiy liwages of Africa; I appeared to myfelf a creature fit •for notlupg, neither heavtn nor earth. None knows, but thofe that feelitj what the foul endures . that is fenfibly fliut out from the prefence of God ; ^las ! it is more bitter than death. Weduiefday, January 26, 1 preached to a pretty large aflembly: infiftcd on humility, and ftedfaftnefs in keeping God's commands ; and that through hu- mility we fiiould prefer one another in love, 1 felt iweetlycalm, and full of brotherly love ; and never more free from party- fpirit. 1 hope, fome good will follow, that Chriftians willbe freed from party-seal iSind -cenfuring one another, ;[0n_ ( 41 ) [On Thurfday, after a confiderable time fpent in prayer and Chriftian converfation, he rode to New- London, j Friday, January 28. Here I found fome carried away with a falfe zeal and bitternefs. Oh, the want of a gorpei-temper is greatly to be lamented. I fpent the evening in converfmg with fome about fomo points of conduft in both minifters and private Chrif- tians; but did not agree with them: God had not taught them with briars and thorns to be of a kind difpofi- tion toward mankind. Wednefday, February 2. I preached my farewell- fermon, at the houfe of an aged man, who had been unable to attend on the public worfhip for fome time; and this morning fpent the time in prayer, having taken leave of my friends, 1 fet out on my journey tovv'ards the Indians ; though by the way 1 was to fpend fome time at EafE-Hampton on Long-Ifland, by the leave of the commiffioners ; and being accom- panied by a meffenger from Eaft-Hampton, we tra- velled to Lyme. On the road I felt an uncommon preiTure of mind : I feemed to ftruggle hard for fome pleafure here below, and feemed loth to give up all ;^ 1 faw I was throwing myfelf into all hardfliips and ^ diftrefies : I thought it would be Icfs difncult to lie down in the grave ; but yet 1 chofe; to go, rather than flay. 1 can^e to Lyme that night. [He waited the two next days for a paffage over - the Sound, and fpent much of the time in inward' , coTiflias] . On Saturday he crolled tlie Sound, landed om- Long-IIland, and travelled to Eaft- llampton. And . the {even foliowincr days lie fpent there, foriliemoft. - part, under exir^me dcjetlion of mind-. Lord's day, r'ebraary 13. 1 was under ?..grc3t de-. gree of difcouragement ; knew not liovv it was poiiible for me to preach in the aficrnuon, was ready to give vjp all forgone! biit God v/as plcafed to ailiil: mt\, . In the evening, my heart was fvvcetly dra^^n Ou£,-_ after Go.dj and devoted to him. { r- ) Tuefday, February 15. Earlv in the day I felt Toms comfort ; afterwards I walked into a neighbouring grove, and felt more as a ftraiigcron earth than ever before ; dead to any of the enjoyments of the world, as if 1 had been dead in anatural fenfe. — In the even- ing I had fweetnefs in feeret duty : God was then my portion, and my foul rofe above thofe deep waters.^ into which I have funk fo low of late. Thurfday, Februaiy 17. I preached this day at a little village belonging to Eafi-Hampton • and God 'was pleafed to give me his gracious prefence and at- ■fiftancej fo tliati fpake with freedom, boldnefs, and power. In the evening, I fpent fome time with a dear ChrifTian friend; felt as on the brink of eter- ^nity ; my foul enjoyed fweetnefs. in lively appreheri- fions of ftanding before the glorious God: prayed with my dear friend, and difcourfed with the utmoft folemnity. And truly it was a little emblem of hea- ven it felf. Friday, February f 8. I felt fweetly mod of the ^^ay, and found accefs to the throne of^grace. Blef- fed be the Lord for any intervals of heavenly delight and compofure, while I am engaged in the field of battle. O that I might be ferious, folemnj and al- ways vigilant, while in an eyil world 1 O, i long to- hve to God I [During the next fortnight, he, for the moft part^ enjoyed much fpiritual peace and com.fort. And it appears by his account, that this fpace of time was :filled up with great diligence and earneftnefs in ferv- :ing God, in Iludy, prayer, m.editation, preachings and private inflru6iing and counfellingj -Monday, March 7. This morning when I arofe, I found my heart go forth after God in longing de- sires of conformity to him; and in fccret prayer I found myfelf fweetly quickened and drawn out in ^praifes to God for all he had done to and for me, and^ :for all my inward trials aiid diPcrefics; my heart Jafcribed glory, glory, glory to the bleffed God ! and bid v/ekome to all inv/ard cliflrefs again, if God faw me-st to exercife me With it ; time appealed but an { 4a 1 inclilong, and eternity at hand: ai^d I tr.ougTit I could wiih patience and chearfulnefs bear any thing for the caufe of God ; for I faw that a moment would brino-me to a wo'-id of peace and bleiTednefs ; and my foul, by the ftrength of the Lord, rofe far above ibis lower world, and all the vain amufemc^nts and frightful difappointments of it. Lord's day, jNIarch 13. At noon, I thought it im- poihble for me to preach, by reafon of bodily weak- neii and inward deadneis; and ::i : fi: :: ;^i-:;ycr, I %v as lb weak that 1 could hare ly iiii.Li; ol.l i:i ijr- n-.on, God ftrengthened me, fo that 1 fpake near an hour and half with freedom, clearnefs, and tender power, from Gen. v. 24. And Enoch walked with God/' I was fwecrly affifted to inhfi: on a clofe ■walk with God, and to leave this as m.y parting advlxe to God's people here, that th?y Jliould zvalk with God, May the God of all grace fucceed ray poor labours in ihis place I Saturday, Tvlarch 19. I was diTtrelied under a fenfe of my ignorance, darknefs, and unwordiinefs ; -got -alone, and poured out m.y complaint to God in the bittern f fs of my foul. — In the afternoon I rode to Ne^vark, and had fome fweetnefs in converfation Avith Mr. Burr, and in praying together. O blelfed be God for ever and ever, for any enlivening and quickening ! Lord's day, March 20. T preached in the fore- noon : God ga\'e fome afhflance and fweetnefs, and enabled me to fpeak v^ith real tendemefs, love, and impartiality. In the evening, I preached again ; andj. of a truth, God was pleafed to aiiifb a poor woFm. Bleued be God, I wzs enabled to fpeak with life, power, and paihonate -dehre of the edification of God's people. hi the e\'ening, I felt foraething fpiritual and watchful, leii m.ay heart fliould by any means be ciranTi av.-2y from God. Ob,, when fhall I come to that bleffed world, where every pov^'er of 3ny foul will be inccffanily and eternally wound up, in he-aveniy employments and enjoyments,, to the- Jii^hefs degree-! ■ ihs. .-1 ( 44 ) I [On Monday he went to Woodbridge, wlicre tKe torrcfpondents^ inftead of fending him to the Indians at the Forks of Delav/are, as they intended, ordered him to go to a number of Indians, at Kaunaumeek, a place in the province of New-York, in the woods between Stockbridge and Albany. This alteration was occafioned by two things, viz, i. Information that the correlpondents had received of fome con- tention now fuBfifting bctv/een the white people and the Indians at Delaware, which they fuppofed would be a hindrance at prefent to their entertainment of a miffionary, and to his fuccefs among them. And, 2. Some intimations they had received from Mr. Sergeant, miffionary to the Indians at Stockbridge, concerning the Indians at Kaunaumeek, and the profpeft of fuccefs that a miffionary might have among them.] PART V. From his f rji kginnivg to inJlruEl the Indians at KaiinaU' meek J /<7j Ordination. RID AY, April i, 1743. I rode to Kaunaumeek, near twenty miles from Stockbridge, where the -Indians live, with whom I am concerned, and there' lodged on a little heap of flravv^ : was greatly exer- •cifed with inward diftrefTes all day ; and in 'the evening, my heart was funk, and I feemed to have no God to go to. O that God would help me ! The place, as to its htuatiop, was fufficiently lone- fome, and unpleafant, being encompaffed with mountains and woods ; twenty rniles diftant from any Englifii inhabitants; lix or ievcn frcm. any Dutch;, and more than two from a family that came, fom.e- time hnce, fiom the Highlands of Scotland, and had j then lived about two years in this Vv'ildernefs. In.f.;,! tliis family I lodged about the fpace of three m.onthSy,.| tliC m.afher of it being the only pcrfon with whom I, could readily ccnverfe in thofe parts, except my in«- r el c r ; 0 1 h c L",s un d.s r flan di ng v e ry 1 i 1 1 h:; li n gli Ih . ( 45 ) Thurfday, April 7. I appeared to myfelf exceed- ing ignorant, weak, helpkfs, and unworthy, and altogether unequal to my work. It fecmed to me I fhould never do any fervice, or have any fucccfs ^ among the Indians. My foul was weary of my life : I longed for death, beyond meafure. When I thought of any godly foul depaited, my foul was ready to envy him his privilege, thinking, ''Oh, when will my turn come ! muft it be years firft But I know thofe defires rofe partly for want of re- iignationto God. Tow^ards night, Iliad faith in prayer, and fome affifhance in writing. O that God would keep m.e near him ! Friday, April 8. I was exceedingly preiied under a fenfe Tdy party -fpir it. in times pal\. while I at- tempted to promote the caufe of God : its vile na- ture appeared in fuch odious colours, that my very beart was pained : I fa\V how poor fouls ftumbled over it into everlafting deftruftion, and was con- ftrained to make that prayer in the bitternefs of my foul, O Lord, dehver me from blood-guiltinefs." faw m^y defert of hell on this account. My foul was full of anguifh and fhame before God, that I bad fpent fo much time in converfation tending only io ^romo^z di party -fpir it. I fav/ I had not fuit- ably prized mortification, felf-denial, refignation un- der all adverfities, m.eeknefs, love, caiidour, and. holinefs of heart and life : and this day was almoll wholly fpenr in fuch foul afFiiftIng refleftions on my pari conduct. — Of late, I have thought much of having the kingdom of Ch rift advanced in the world; but now 1 faw I had. enough to do within mvfelf. The Lord be merciful to me a tinner, and wafli my foul ! Lord's day, April 10. I preached to the TndianSj. both forenoon and afternoon. They behaved foberly in general : two or three appeared under fome re- ligious concern: with whom I difcourfed privately ^ and one told me, her heart had cried, ever fmce fhc heard me preach firft." Wednefdayj. ( 46 ) "Wednefday, April 13. My heart was overwhelm*: ed within me : I verily thought I was the meaneftj., vileft, mofh helplefs, ignorant creature living. AnA yet I knew what God had done for my foul : though fometimes I was affaulted with doubts whether it was poffible for fuch a v/retch as I to be in a ftate of grace*: Tucfday, April 19. In the morning, I enjoyed fomc fweetrepofe and reft in God; felt fome ftrength and confidence in God ; and my foul was refrefhcd:; and comforted. My foul feemed lifted above the' deep zoatcrs^ wherein it has been fo long almoft drown- ed ; I found myfelf engaged for the advancement of ■ Chrift's kingdom in my own foul/ more than in others, more than in the Heathen world. Wednefday, April 20. I fet apart this day for .fafting and prayer, to bow my foul before God fdr. grace; efpccially that all my inv.'ard diftrelfes might be fan£lified to my foul. J endeavoured alfo to re- member the goodnefs of God to me in the year paft, . this day being my birth-day. Having obtained help of God, I am now arrived at the age of twenty-five years. My foul was pained, , to think of ray barreri--- nefs and deadnefs; that I have lived fo little to the glory of the eternal God. 1 fpent the day in the woods alone, and there poured out my complaint to . God. O that God would enable me to live to his , glory for the future ! Friday, April 22. My leannefs teftiHes againft me! my foul abhors itfeif for its unlikenefs to God,, its ina£livity and fluggifl:inefs. When I have done all, alas, what an unprofitable fervant am 1 ! My,,, foul groans, to fee the hoursbf the day roll away, be-'- caufe I do not fill them, in fpirituality and heaver^ly-- mindednefs. And yet I long they fnould fpeed theirs pace, to haften m^e to my eternal home, where; I may fill up all my moments, throiigh eterniLV, fcr: . God and his glory. Tuefday, May 10. I was extremely prefTed with ' a fenfe of guilt, pollution, biindnefs : The iniquity of my heels have compaffed me about ; the fins of my youth have been fet in order before me; they have gone ( 47 ) rone over my head; as an heavy butden. too heavy :^ : me 10 bear." Almolt all the aftions of my life.. D-?.-! feem to be covered over w Cm and guilt : and- \ lie of them that I performed in ru. moil confcien-^ JUS m.anner. no\v fill me v/ithfhame and confufions Oh! the pnde, fdfjhnefs^ ignorance^ oitUrncfi^ party* ^nd the zvant of' lovs, candour, vueknefs, ^nd gentk- \ that have attended my attempts to promote reli- gion ; and this when I have reafon to hope I had real ahirLance from above, and fume fweet inrercourfs \vith heaven! But. alas, \vhat corrupt m.ixtares at- ':ei:ded my bell duties ! After feveral weeks I found my dlflance from the Indians a very great difadvantage to m.y work amongPc them, and very burdenfome to myfelf; as i was obliged to travel for\vard and backward almofh daily on foot. havi::g no pafture in which I could keep inv horfe for that purpofe, And after all my pains. I could not be with :he mdians in the evening and ■ _ .uning, which v;ere ufaally the beft hours to find _ :-:n at homCj and when they could beft attend my i::i:i-uCtions, I therefore refolvcd to remove, and live with or near the Indians, that I might watch all opportuni=. ties, w^hen they were generally at home, and take the advantage of fuch feafons for their in{lru6bi on. Accordingly I rem.oveti foon after ; and, for a timej ii'-cd with them in one of their zvi^zvanzs : and not .ong after, built me a fmall houfe. where I fpentthe remainder of that year entirely alune : my interpreter (who was an Indian) choofing rather to live in a wig- wam among his own countr\-m€n. But although the difiiculties of this folitarv way of living are not the leaft, yet I can truly fay, the bur- den 1 felt refpecling my great _icork among the poor Indians, the fear and concern that continually hung upon my fpirir, ieft they fliouid be prejudiced againit Ghriilianity, by micans of the infmuations of fome who 'although they are called Chrifiians) feem to have no concern for thrift's kingdom^ but ihad rather the 'Indians fnould remain Heathens, that they may with mors ( 48 ) moxt eafe cheat, and enrich themfelves by them ; thf burden, 1 fay, the fear and concern I felt in thefe refpefts, were much more preffing to me. than all the diiHcuhies that attended the circumflances of my living. As to tlie Jiate or temper of mind^ in which I found thefe Indians, at my firft coming among them, it wa§: much more encouraging, than what appears among' thofe who are altogether uncultivated. Their jea- loafics and fufpicion, and their prejudices againft Chriftianity, were in a great meafure removed by the, long-continued labours of the Reverend Mr. Sargeant among a number of the fame tribe, in a place i more than twenty miles diftant : by v/hich meansj thele were, in fome good degree, prepared to enter- ^ tain the truths of Chriftianity, inlfead of objefting againft them, and appearing entirely unlraftable, as- is common with them at firft, and as thefe appeared' a few years ago. Some of them, at leaft, appeared', well difpofed tov/ard religion, and feemcd mucli I pleafed with my coming among them. Wednefday, May 18. My circumftances are fucli, | that i have no comfort, of any kind, but what I have | in God. I live in the moft lonefome wildcrnefs ; have but one ftngle peifon to converfe with, that can i fpeak Englifh.* Moft of the talk 1 hear, is either ||! Highland-Scotch or Indian. I have no feliow-Chrif- Ijji tian to whom 1 might unbofom myielf, and lay j| open miy fpiritual forrows, and with whom I might take fweet counlcl in converfation about heavenly things, ap,d join in pra3 er. I live poorly with re- gard to the comforts of life ; moil; of my diet con«. fill? * This ferfoyi was Mn BrainerJ's interpreter j zohozihts mi inp^tnious young Indian belonging to Stockhndge, zvhofi name zuas John iVduvjaumpequunnaunt, vjho had been in- jlriided m ike Chrijiian religwn by Mr. Sergeant ; and had lived with the Reverend Mr. iVdliarns cf Long- Meadow, and had been further in/truBed by km. at the charge cf Mi^^ Jloliis f London ] and uuderftood bulk End.ija and IndimA. very zoed^ and wrcte a good hand, ! { 49 ) ♦-.rts of boiled corn, and bafty-pudding. I lodge on a bundle of ftrav/. iny labour is bard; and I have little appearance of facccfs. The Indians affafirs are very difficult : having no land to live on. but v/hat the Dutch threaten to drive them from ; they have no regard to the fouls of the poor Indians ; and, they hate me. becaufe I come to preach to them.. But that which makes ail my difnculties grievous to be ^ borne, is, that God hides his face from me." [From this time forward he had various cxercifes of mind: but it feems. in the general, to have been %\-ithhim much after the fame manner as it had been hitherto from his lir ft coming to Kaunaumeek, till he got into his own houfe, (a little hut, that he made vhiefly with his own hands, with long and hard la- bour.) which was near feven weeks from this time. Great part of this time, he was depreffed widi melan- choU'. Plow it ^vaswith him in ihofe dark feafons, he further defcribes in his diary for July 2. My foul is, and has for a long time been in a piteous con- dition, wading through aferles of forrows, of various kinds. I have been fo cruflred down fometimxcs with a fenfe of my meannefs and infinite unworthinefs, that 1 have been afharaed that any, even the meaneft cf my fellow-creatures, fhould fo much as fpend a thought about me, and have wifhed while I have travelled among the thick brakes, to drop into ever- laiting oblivion, hi this cafe, I have almoft refolved never again to fee any of my acquaintance ; and really thought, I could not do it and hold up my face ; and have longed for the remoteft region, for a retreat from ail my friends, that I might not be feen or heard of any more. — Sometimes the conhderation of my ignorance has been a means of m.y great diftrefs and anxiety. And efpecially my foul has been in an- guifh with fear, fir am e, and guilt, that ever I had preached, or had any thought that way. Some- times.my foul has been in diftrefs on feeling fome par- ticular corruptions : having, at the fame time, ten thoufand former fins and follies prefented to my view. And thefe attended with fuch external circum- E flanges ( 5« ) ftarices as mine at prefent are ; deftitute of moft of the conveniencies of life, and I may fay, of all the pleafures of it; without a friend to communicate any •of my forrows to, and fometimes without any place of retirement, where I may unburden my foul before God, which has greatly contributed to my diflrefs. [One main occafiori of that diftrelfmg glocminefs which he was fo much exercifed with at Kaunau- meek, was reflefting on hispaft errors and mi fguided zeal at college. Therefore he repeated his endeavours this year for reconciliation with the governors of of the college. Although he had been at New-Ha- ven, in June, this year, and had attempted a re- conciliation ; yet, in the begining of July, he made another journey thither, and renewed his altempt, but ftill in vain«] Saturday, July 30= Juft at night, moved into my own hoii/e, and lodged there that night; found it much better impending the time alone at my own houfe, than in the wigwam where I was before, Monday, Auguft 1. I was bufy in farther labours on my houfe. — Felt a little of the fweetnefs of religi- on, and thought it was worth while to follow after God through a thoufand fnares, deferts, and death itfeif. O that I might alwdiys follow after holinefs^ that I may be fully conformed to God 1 Wednefday, Auguft 3. I am now uninterruptedly alone ; and hnd my retirement comfortable, i have enjoyed more fenfe of divine things within a few days paft, than for fome time before. I longed after holinefs, humility, and meeknefs : O that God would enable me to " pafs the time of my fojourning here in his fear," and always live to him I Thurfday, Auguft 4. 1 have generally found, the more I do in fecret prayer, the more 1 enjoy of a fpi- rit of prayer: and 1 frequently have found the con- trary, when with journeying or otherwife, I have been deprived of retirement. A feafonable fleady performance of fecret duties in their proper hours, and a careful improvement of all time, filling up every hour with fome profitable labour, either of heart, { 5' ) iieart, head, or hands, are excellent means of fpiri= t'jal peace and boldnefs before God. " Chrift" in- deed is our peace, and by him we have boldnefs of accefs to God;" but a. good cori/cience, void of offence , i^ an excellent preparation for an approach to the divine prefence. Filling up our time with and for God, is the way to rife up and lie down in peace. Saturdav, Auguft 13. 1 was enabled in fecret prayer to raife my foul to God, v,7ith defire and de- light. It Vv'as indeed a bieffed feafon to my foul : I found the comfort of being a Chriftian : "I counted the fdfferings of the prefsnt life not worthy to be compared with the glory" of divine enjoyments even in this wo-rld. All my paft forrows feemed to dif- appear, and I '* remembered no more the iorrow for joy." — ^.Vith what a filial tendcrnefs, the foul hangs on, and confides in the Rock of ages, at fuch a feafon, that he will " never leave it nor forfake it," that he will caufe ail things to -work together for its good!" I longed, that others fhould know how good a God the Lord is. My foul was full of tendernefs and love, even to the raofi: inveterate of my enemies, I longed that God fhould do juft as he pleafed with me and every thing elfe. 1 felt exceeding ferious, calm, and peaceful, and encouraged to prefs aner holinefs a-slong as I live, whatever difficulties and trials may be in my way. Monday, Aug\i^\^. In my weak ftate of body, I was not a little diftrcffed for v^/ant of fuitable food. I had no bread, nor could I get any. I am forced to go or fend ten or fifteen miles for all the bread I eat ; and fometimes it is mouldy and four before I eat it, if I get any conliderable quantity : and then again I have none for fome days together, for v^ant of an opportunity to fend for it. And this was my cafe now : but through divine goodneis 1 had fome Indian meal, of v/hich I m.ade little cakes, and fried them. And I felt contented with my circumHances, and fweetly refigned to God. In prayer I enjoyed great freedom ; and blelfed God as much for my preient circumftancesj asifl had been a king, and I never £.3. ' feci ( 50 feel ccmforirably, but when 1 find my toLil going forth after God : if 1 cannot be holy, I muft be mi» ferable for ever. Lord's day, Augufh 21.. I fell down before the Lord, and groaned under niy own viienefs,, barren- nefs, dcadnefs, and felt as if i was guilty of foul- murder, in fpeaking to immortal fouls in fuch a man- ner as 1 had done. 1 was very ill and full of pain in the evening ; and my foul mourned that I had fpent fo much time to fo little profit. Monday, Auguit 22. 1 had intenfe and paffionate breathings of foul after holinels, and very clear ma- nifeftations of my utter inability to procure, or work it in myfelf j it is wholly owing to the power of Godo. O, v/ith v/hattendernefs the love and defne of holi-' Titfi fills the foul [ I wanted to wing out of myfelf to Cod^ or rather to get a conformity to him : but, alas.! i cannc't add to my ftature in grace one cubit.. However, my foul can never leave llriving for it ; or ■dt leaft groaning, that it cannot obtain mere purity of heart, Tuefday, Auguft 23, I poured out my foul for all the world, friends, and enemies. My foul was concerned for Chrift's kingdom that it might ap- pear, in the whole earth. And I abhorred the veiy thought of a pavty in religion I Let t]ie truth of God appear, where-ever it is ; and God have the gloiy for ever. Wednefday, Auguft 24, I thought, if God fliould fay, ^' Ceafe making any provifion for this life, foE you fn all in a few days go into eternity," my foul would leap for joy. O that I may both defire to be diffolved," and ''wait patiently all the days of' my appointed time 'till my change come !" — But,, alas ! 1 am very unfit for the bufineis and bleilcdnefs, of heaven. — O fur more holinefs ! Thurfday, Auguft 25.. 1 find it is impolfible to en-, joy peace and tranquility of mind without a careful ' improvement of time. This is really an imitation of God and Ghrift Jelus : My father wojketh hitherto, '4nd I Yv^ork," fays oux Lord, Bu.t ftill, if we would ( Si5' ) be like God, we muftfee that we fill up our time for him. — I daily long to dwell in perfeft light and love. In the mean time, my foul mourns that I make fo little progrefs in grace, and preparation for the world of blelfednefs : I fee and know that I am a very bar- ren tree in God's vineyard, and that he might juftly fay, " Cut it down," &c, O that God would make me more lively and vigorous in grace, for his ov/n glory ! Lord's day, Auguft 28. I was much perplexed with fome Dutchmen. All their difcourfe turned 'upon the things of the world. Oh, what a hell it would be to fpend an eternity with fuch men ! Well imight David fay, " I beheld the tranfgrcffors and Was grieved." — But adored be God, luaven is a place into which no unclean thing enters.'*' O I long for the holinefs of that world ! Lord prepare me for it. Wednefday, Auguft3i. Eternal things engrolfed all my thoughts; and I longed to be in the world of fpirits. O how happy is it, to have all our thoughts fwallowed up in that world ; to feel one's felf a ftranger in this, diligently feeking a road through it, a fure road to the heavenly Jerufalem !. Lhurfday, September 1. 1 always feel comfortably when God realizes death, and the things of another world to my mind : v.'hencvermy mind is taken off from the things of this world, and fet on God, my foul is at refi. Tuefday, September 13. I rode to New-Haven. I find, though my inward trials are great, and a life of folitude gives them greater advantages to penetrate the inmofl receffes of the foul ; yet it is better to be alone, than incumbered with noife and tumult. I find it very difficult maintaining a fenfe of divine things, while removing from place to place, divert- ed with new objects, and filled with care and bufi- -nefs. A fsltled fteady buhnefs is beft adapted to a life of ftria religion. Wednefday, September 14. This day I ought to haXQ, t^ktu my decree f but God fees fit to deny it E 3 me." ''^ This being copimaiccmtnt'd^y.. f 54 > mc. And though I was afraid of being overv^^herm-^ ed with confuiion, wlien I fhould fee my clafs-viates' take theirs; yet, in the very feafon of it, God en- abled me with calmneis to fay, '' The will of the Lord be done." indeed, I have fcarcely felt my mind fo fedate and comfortable for fome time. I have long feared this feafon, and expefted my hu- mility, meekncfs, patience, and refignation would be tried : but found much more pleafure and divine comfort than I expefted». Thufday,. September 15. It is always a comfort, to. mc, to hear i|jiritual difcourie. O that minifters and: people were more fpiiitual and devoted to God !- — Towards night, I offered the following refleffions. in writing, to the reftor and truftees of the college,., (the fame that I had offered to the redor before, and intrested him to accept) ; and this I did, that if pof- fible 1 might cut ofT alloccafion of offence, from thofe that feek occafion,. Whereas I have faid before feveral perfons, con- cerning Mr. Vvhittelfey, one of the tutors ofYale- Gollege, that I did not believe he had any more grace ihan the chair I then leaned upon ; I humbly eonfefs that herein I have fmned againff God,, and afted contrary to the rules of his word, and have in- jured Mr. W' hittelfey. 1 Bad no right to make thus, free wiih his character ; and had no juft' reafon to fay as I did concernirig liim. My fault herein was/ the more aggravated,, in that 1 faid this- concerning one that was lb much my fuperior, and one that I was obliged to treat with fpecial refpe6l and honour, \y reafon of the relation I ftood in to him in the col- lege. Such a m.anner of behaviour,, i eonfefs, did not become a Chriffan ; it was taking too much upon me, and did not favour of that humble refpeft,. that; I ought to have expreffed towards Mr. Whittelfey. I have often reflefted on this a6i: with gj'ief, on account ©f the fm of it : and am willing to lie low, and be abafed before God and man for it: and humbly afk the forgivenefs of the governors of the college^, sjid, of the whole fociety ; but of Mr. Whittelfey in particulaiv C 55 )■ ^articular. And whereas I have been accufed of ^ying concerning the reftor of Yale-college, that I wondered he did not expe£l to drop down dead for fining the fcholars that followed Mr. Tenent to Mil- ford ; 1 ferioufly profefs, that I do not remeiTiber my faying anv thing to thh purpofe. But if I did, I ut- terly condemn it, and deteft all fuch kind of behavi- ©ur. And I now appear, to judge and condemn my- fclf for going once to the leparate meeting in New- Haven, though the reftor had refufed to give me leave. For this 1 hum.bly afk the reftor's forgivenefs» And whether the governors of the college {hall ever fee caufe to remove the academical cenfure I lie under, or no, yet 1 am willing to appear, if they think fit, openly to own, and to humble myfelf for thofe things I have herein confelfed," God has m.ade me willing to do any thing, that I ean do, confiftent with truth, for the fake of peace, and that I might not be a ftumbling-block and offence to. others. For this reafon I CdJi cheerfully give up what I verily believe, after the mod: impartial fearqh,. is my right. G^d ha5 given me t-hat difpohtion, that if this were the cafe, that a man has done me an- kundred injuries, and 1 (though ever fo much pro- voked to it) have done him one, 1 am heartily wil- ling humbly to confefs my fault to him,, and on my knees to afk forgivenefs of him ; though at the fame time he fhould juftify himifelf in all the injuries he has done me, and fnould only make ufe of my hum^ ' ble confeffion to blacken my character the more, and reprefent me as the only perfon guilty ; yea, though he fliould as it were infult me, and fay, ^' he knew all this before, and that I was making work for m- pentance*," Though what 1 faid- concerniug Mr,. Whittelfey was only fpoken in private, to a friend or two; and being parcly overheard, was related to the re^lor, and by him extorted from my friends; yet, feeing it was divulged and. m.ade public, 1 was wil- ling to confefs my fault therein publickly.* [The- * I was zvitnefs to the vny Chriftian fpirit Mr.. Brainerd Jhezacd at that timCy bdn^ thai at Ncm-Havm^ a?id bang om ( ss ) [THe next day he went to Derby ; then tb Soutl ' l?»ury, where he fpent the Sabbath: and fpeaks ( ' fome fpiritual comfort ; but complains much of ui fixednefs, and wanderings of mind in religion.] Monday, September 19. I felt ferious, kind an tender towards all mankind, and longed that hoi nefs might flourifh on earth. Tuefday, September 20. I had thoughts of goin forward on my journey to my Indians; but towarc night was taken with a hard pain in my teeth, and fh vering cold, and could not poffibiy recover a comfori able degree of wannth the whole night following, continued very full of pain all night ; and in th ' morning had a fever, and pains almoft all over m' body. I had a fenfe of the divine goodnefs in ap pointing this to be the place of my ficknefs, amoni my friends. 1 fhould probably have perifhed, if had firft got home to my own houfe in the wildernefi where 1 have none to converfe with but the poo rude ignorant Indians. [ continued thus, moftly con fined to my bed, till Friday night ; very full of pain ^' but not afraid of death.— — On Friday evening m) pains went off fuddenly, [Fron that he faw Jit to confult on that occajion. {This zoas the Ji^Jj / time that ever I had cpportunity oj per/onal acquainianci^ " with him.) There appeared in him a great degree of cahnM^ nefs and humility, without the leaji appearance of rijing oj^^^ Jpirit jor any ill treatment he hadjufiered^ or the leaft bach\. F wardnejs to abafe hwifeif before them whom he thought hack „ wronged him. What he did was without any objeEiion oi j; appearance of reludance, even in private to his friends, Ear-^^'^ nefi application was made on his behaf to the authority of tk^ college, that he might have his degree then given hun j am particularly by the Reverend Mr. Burr of Newark, one oj the corre/pondents of the honourable fociety in Scotland j hi\ being fent from New-Jerfey to New- Haven, by the refi oftlw cmimffioners, for that end ; and many arguments were ifed. but without fuccefs. — IVhat mamier offpirit were thefe Go- vernors of ? Arid do thefe dare to mil themfelva Chriflians f ( 57 ) From this time, he .s^raduilly recovered' ; and otj lie next Tuefday was able to go forward on his jour- iLV ; but was till the Tuciday following before he :c ,i ched Kaunaumeek. J Tuefday, Oftobcr 4. This day I rode home to my Dwn houl'e and people. The poor Indians appeared ^'ciy glad of my return. I prefently fell on niy knees, and bleffed God for my fafe return. I hav:". taken many confiderable journeys fince this time laft year^ and yet God ha5 never fuffered one of my bones to be broken, or any diftreffing calamity to befal me, though I have been often cxpofed to cold and hunger In the wildernefs, where the comforts of life were not to be had; have frequently been loH in the woods; and fometimes obliged to ride much of the night; and once lay out in the woods all night. Lord's day, Oftober 16. Lretired, and poured out my foul to God v/ith much freedom; and yet in an- guifh, to find myfelf fo unfpeakably hnful and un- worthy before a holy God. I was now much refign- cd under God's difpenfations towards me, though my trkils had been very great. But thought whether I could be refigned, if God fhould let the French In- dians came upon me, and deprive me of my life, or carry me away captive, (though I knew of no fpecial reafon then to propofe this trial to myfelf,) and my foul feem.ed fo far to reft in God, that the ftin^ and terror of thefe things was gone. Prefently after I re- ceived the following letter by a melfenger fent on purpofe. " Sir, Juft now we received advices from Col. Stoddard, that there is the utmoft danger of a rupture with France. He has received the fame from his ex- cellency our governor, ordering him to give notice to all the expofed places, that they may fecure them- felves the beft they can againft any fudden invafion. We thought befh to fend direftly to Kaunaumeek, that you may take the prudentell meafures for your fafety. I am, Sir, &c." I thought, it came in a good feafon ; for my heart feemed fixed on God,, and therefore I was not fur- prifedi. hop ki: Ine: ( 58 ) .1 i prifed : but this news only made me more feriouSi and taught me that I muft not pleafe myfeif v;ilh any of the comforts of life which I had been preparing..] ' Saturday, 06lober 22. 1 had but little communion with God. This v\^orld is a dark cloudy manfioni Oh, when will the Son of righteoufnefs fnine on myi foul without cefTation or internaiihon I I Lord's day, Oftober 23. I had foroe freedom andi warmth, both parts of the day. And my people were very attentive. In the evening, two or three carae to m.e under concern for their fouls ; to whom 1 Vv^as enabled to difcourfe clofely, and with fomc earnell- nefs and defire. [He feems, through the whole of this v/eek, to Kave been grecUly engaged to fill up every inch of timiC in the fervice of God, and to have been raoft diligently employeu in ftudy, prayer, and inftrufting the Indians ; and from lime to time exprefies longing^ of foul after God, and the advaneeraent of his king dom.] , Monday, Oaober3i. My foul was fo lifted up"' ^; to God, that I could pour out my denres to him, for ; ;) more grace and further degrees of fan fHfi cation, with'n abundant freedom. 1 longed to be more abundantly in prepared for that blelTednefo, with which I was then jr'l in lome meafure refreihed. | ' Thurfday, November 3. I Ipent this day in lecret|| fading and prayer, from morning till night. Earlyp. in the morning, I had fbme aiiiftance in prayer.| ' Afterwards, I read the ftory of Elijah the prophet, i| Kings xvii. xviii. and xix chapters. My foul wasj much moved, obfervu/g the faith, zeal, and power.' of that hoi V man : ■ -..^w he wrellled with God in : _ en cried- with Elilha, '' Where J ,i i.ii], I rode dov/n to ShcfHeld.. Kere I met a mcllenger from Eaft-Hampton on Long- Ifland; who by the unanimous vote of t'/.at large town, was fent to invite me thither, in order to fet- tle wIlK that people : I knew not -what to do : but endeavoured to commiit the cafe to God. [The * This was the lafl Sa.hbath that ever he perforried pub- favict at Kannaurnzek^ and thge the bjt Jcrmcns that ever he preadicd thcre^. ( 69 ) [The tvv^o next days, he went no farther than Sa- lifbur)^, being much hindered by the rain. \\^hen he came there, he was much indifpofed. — He fpeaks of comfortable and profitable converfation with Chriftian friends, on thefe days.] Lord's day, March 18. [At Saiifbuiy] I was ex- ceeding v/eak and faint, fo that I could fcarce walk : but God was pleafed to afford me much freedom, clearnefs, and fervency in preaching. — Here ano- ther mieilenger met me, and informed me of the vote of another congregation, to give me an invitation to come am.ong them. I was fomething exercifed in mind with a burden of care. O that God would fend forth faithful labourers into his harveft !" [After this, he went forv/ard on his journey to- wards New-York and New-Jerfey : in which he proceeded flov/ly ; performing his journey under great bodily indifpofition. Kovvever, he preached Teveral times by the Vv'ay, in which he had confidera- ble afiiftance : He fpeaks of comfort in converfa- tion v/ith Chriftian friends ; but yet complains of a decline of life, or vivacity in religion, by means of his conftant removal from place to place, and v/ant of retirem.ent. K c came to New-York on Wednefday, March 28, and to Elifabetli-Town on the Saturday foUowirg, where it feems he v/aited till the com- miffi oners cam.e together.] Thurfday, April I at' ended on the commif- fioners in their meeting,'''' and refolved to go on ftill with the Indian affair, if divine providence pennit- ed; *77i€ Indians at Kaunainneck being but f etc in number, and Mr. Brainerd having nozv bcm labouring among them about a year, and having prevailed upon them to be willing to leave Kaunaimeek, and remove to Stockbridge, to live con- Jlantly undrr Mr. Sergeant's rninijlry j he thought he might now do more Jervice for Chrijl among the Indians elfewhtre ■: and therefore went this journey to New-Jcrfey to lay the mat- ter bf/ore the CGnmuJfioners j who met at Elijabeth-Town , on thb cccafwn, and determined that he fnould forthwith leave K^vi .i-iiiieek^ and go to the Delaware Indians. ( 70 ) ed ; although I had before felfc fome inciination U\ ^, go to Eaft-HampLon.+ . \ [After this, he contiiiued two or three days in the! Qiv Jerfeys, very ill ; and then returned to New-York ; ] and from thence into New-England; and went to{ {oi his native town of Haddam , where he arrived on! no Saturday, April 14.] " gei Tucfday, April 17. I found more of God's pre- fence, than I have done any time in my late weari-l % fome journey. Eternity appeared very r; ear , vry na- •})£ ture was very weak, andfeemedready lo bediiTolved ; the fun declining, and the fhadows of the evening draw- ing on apace. O I longed to fill up the remaining mo- ^ ments all forGod! Though my body wasfofeeblc, -and' J, wearied ¥/ith preaching, andprivate convcrfation,. yet 1 j i wantedto fit up all th-c night to do fomething for God. 1 \ To God, the giver of theie refrefiiments, be glory for | ever and ever, [After I l f By the znvitatkvs Mr. Brahicrihad lately received, ip. i appears thai it zoos not jrci7z nece//iiy, or fen zvard of oppcr- ■ tunities to JetlU in the rrnnifiry among the Evglijk^ that he ^ ziias ddcnniried to Jorjake all eittrxw.rd ecviforU^ and to go \ and/pend his life a^iicng the hrutifa favages. lit had, jujl as ■ Jte was ka.ving Kaunaunieek, an earnejl irvitatwn to a \ Jettlemcrd at - Eafl-Harfpcon on Long-IJlcnd. the Jairejl,' pleafaiiteft tczon on the zohole ijland, and one of its largefi, andmoji zDcalthy panfies. The people there zcere unanimous - in their dcfires to have him for their pajl or, and for a long time continued in an earnefv purfuit of it. Befides he had an invitation to Millivgton j which was near his native town,-' and in the midji of his f fiends . Nor did Mr. Braintrd chufe the bufinejs oj a nujjiondry ^ rather than accept of ihofe invita- I iiojis, becavf he was un acquainted _ with the difficulties and I Jufferings whidi attended Juch a fervice : for he had had ex- \ perience of thefe difficulties in fummer and winter : having \ Jpent about a twelvemonth in a lonely dejert among thefe fava- ges, where he had gone through extyemt hardfhips, a train of \ cutward and inward forrows. Notwithftanding all thefe \ things.^ he chofe flillto go on j and that although the plac-t he was now going to, was at a much greater diflance from mofl of his friends^ acquaintance., and native land. L .iy ) r After' this, he vlfited. feveral miniflers in Con- nc6licut; and then travelled towards Kaunaumeek, and came to Mr. Sergeant's at Stockbridge, Thuri- day, April 26^.] Friday and Saturday, April 27. and 28. I fpent feme time in difcourfing with my people, (who were now moved down from their own place to Mr. Ser- geant's.) and found them, ver)' glad to fee me returned. Monday, April 30. I rode to Kaunaumeek, but was extremely ill ; and did not enjoy the comfort I hoped for in my own houfe. Tuefday, Mayi. Having received new orders to go to the Indians in Delaware river^n Pennfylvania, and may people here being moftly removed to Mr. Sergeant's, I this day took all my clothes, books, &c. and difpofed of them, and let out for Delaware river : but made it my way to return to Mr. Sergeant's; which I did this day, juil at night. I rode feveral hours in the rain through the howling wddernefs, al- though I was fo difordcred in body, that little or no- thing but bk)od came from me. Tuefday. May 8. I fpent much of my time, while riding, in prayer, that God would go with me to Delaware. My heart fometimes was ready to hnk with the thoughts of my work, and going alone in tlic Vv'ildernefs, I knew not where : but (fill it was comfortable, to think, that others of God's children had wandered about in caves and dens of the earth :" and Abraham, when he was called to go forth, went out, not knowing whither he went." ^The next day. he went forward on his journey; croiTed Hudfon's river, and went to Gofhen in the Highlands: and To travelled acrofs th.e woods, from Hudfon's river to Delaware, about an hundred miles, ■ through a defolate and hideous countrv, above New- Jerfey ; where were very few fettlemcnts: in which iourney he faffered much fatigue and hardfliip. He vifited fom.e Indians in the way,+ and difcourfed with them + Stt Mr. Brainerd's Narrative, nz a ktttr to Mr» Prnkrioiij at the end of his ordinatidiifcrmon^—pa^e 32, 30, ( 72 ) them concerning Chriftianity, butwas melancholy and i difcon folate, being alone in a ftrange wildernefs. On Saturday, he came to a fettlement of Irifh and Dutch people, about twelve miles above the Vorks of Dela- I ware.] i On May lOth. I met with a number of Indians in j a place called Minniifinks, about an hundred and \ forty miles from Kaunaumeek, and direftly in ray way to Delaware river. With thefe Indians I fpent feme time, andfirll addreffed their king in a friendly' rnaTiner; and after ibme difcourfe, I told him I had a dchre to inllruft them in Chrijhanity. At which he hiughed, turned his back upon nie, and went away* 1 then addreflVd another privcipal man in the fame manner, who faid he was willing to hear me. After fometime, 1 followed the Az?2^ into his houfe, and re- newed my difcourfe to him : but he declined talking, and left the affair to another, who appeared to be a rational man. He talked very warmly near a quarter of an hour, and inquired why I defired the Indians to become Chrijlians, feeing the Chriftians v/ere fo much worfe than the Indians. The Chriftians, he faid, would lie, fteal, and drink, worfe than the Indians. It was they firft taught the Indians to be drunk ; and they Hole From one another, to that de- gree, that their rulers Vv^ere obliged to hang them for it, and that was not fufficient to deter others from the Mke praftice. But the Indians, he added, were none of them ever hanged for Healing, and yet they did not fteal half fo much : and he fuppofed thai if the Indians fhould become Chriftians, they then would be as bad as thefe. He added, they Vvould liv6 as their /<2t/zfrj- lived, and go where thciry^/M^5'-5" were when thcy-' died. I then freely ort^neii, lamented, and joined v/ith him in condemning the ill condu6l of feme who arc called Chriftians', told him, thele were not Chriftians in heart ; that I hated fuch wicked prac^- tices, and didnot dcfire the Indians to become fuch as thefe. — And when he appeared CcJmer, I afked him if he Vv^as willinp- tliat I fhould come and fee them again; he replied, he Hiould be willing to fee me ( 73 ) again, as a friend, if I would not defire them to be- come Chrijtians, — I then bid them farewell, and pro- fecuted m.y journey towards Delaware. And May a 3th I arrived at a place called by the Indians, Sak- hauwotung, within the Forks of Delaware in Penfyl- vania. Here alfo, when I came to the Indians, I faluted their king, in a manner I thought mod engaging : And foon after informed him of my defire to mfbruCt them in the Chriftian reli[^ion. After he had confLilt- ed a few minutes with two or three old men, he told me, he was willing to hear. I then preached to x thofe few that were prefent ; who appeared very at- tentive. And the king in particular feemed both to wonder, and at the fame time to be well pleafed with what I taught them, refpefting the divine being. A,nd fmce that time he has ever fnewn himfelf friend- ly to me, giving me free liberty to preach in his houfe, whenever I think iit. — Here therefore I foent tlie greater part of the fuminer, preaching ufaally in the king's houfe. The number of Indians in this place is but fmall ; moft of thofe that formerly belonged here, are remov- ed farther back in the country. Tiiere are not more than ten houfes hereabouts, that continue to be inha- bited; and foinc ofthefe are feveral nrJes difhant from others^ which makes it difhcult for the Indians to meet together fo frequently as could be dehred. Whtn I firft began to preach here, the number of hearers was very fmall ; often noc exceeding twenty or twenty-five perfons : but towards the latter part of the fammer, their number increafed, fo that 1 have frequently had forty perfons, or more, at once: and often the moftof thofe belonging to thofe parts. Lord's day, May 13, 1 rofc early; felt very- poorly after my long journey, and after being wet and ■ratigued. I have fcarce ever feen fuch a gloomy morning -in my life : there appeared to be no Sabbath j the children vvcre all at play; I a firanger in the wildernefs, and knew not where to go ; and all cir- cumflances feemed to confpire to render my affairs , G dark ( 74 ) dark aiiddifcouraging. I mourned after the prefence oFGod, andfeemed like a creature banifned from his fight ! Yet he was pleafed to fupport my (inking foul, amidft all my forrows ; fo that I never entertain- ed any thought of quitting my bufmefs among the poor Indians; but was comforted, to think, that death would ere long fet me free from thefe diftref- fes.-~ — -I rode about three or four miles to the Irifli people, where I found fome that appeared fober and •concerned about religion. My heart then began to be a little encouraged : I went and preached, firfl to thelrifii, and then to the Indians": and in the even- ing, was a little comforted ; my foul feemed to refl on Godj and take courage. O that the Lord would be my fupport and comforter in an evil world ! Monday, May 14. I felt myfelf loofe from all the -world ; all appeared vanity and vexation of fpirit.'* I feemed lonefome, as if I was banifhcd from all mankind, and bereaved of all that is called pl(?afura- ble in the world ; but appeared to myfelf fo vile and imworthy, it feemed fitter for me to be here thail any where. Thurfday, May 17. I was greatly diftreiTed with a fenfe of my vilenefs ; appearing to myfelf too bad walk on God's earth. Godv^^as pleafed to let me lee my inward pollution to fuch a degree, that I ai- iTioft defpaired of being made holy. In the afternoon I met with the Indians, according to appointment, and preached to them. And while riding to them^ 3ny foul feemed to confide in God; and afterwards had fome enlargement in prayer : vital piety and holi- nefs appeared fweettome, and I longed for the pef- feftion of it. Lord's day, May 20. I preached twice to the poor Indians, and enjoyed fome freedom in fpeak- ing. My foul longed for alTiftance from above, all the while ; for I faw I had no ftrength for that work. Afterwards I preached to the Irifii people ; and fe- veral feemed much concerned, with whom I dif- courfed afterwards with freedom and power. Bleffed fee God for any aihftance to an unworthy worm. Lord's ( 75^ ) Lord's day. May 27. I vifited my Indians in-he- morning, and attending upon ayz^/z^ra/ among the ;u-, was affefted to fee their Heathenijli praciices. O rh st- they might be " turned from-darknefs to light!" Afrcv wards J got a confide rable number of them togeLiiei , - and preached to them ; and obferved them very at- tentive. I then preached to the white people, and fe\-eral feemed much concerned ; efpecially one who had been educated a Roman catholic, BleiTed be ;he Lord for any help, Monday, June 11. This day the pre/hytery met at Xev/ark. in order to my ordination, I was very weak and difordered in body ; yet endeavoured to repofe my confidence in God. At three in the afternoon I preached my probation-fermon, from Acls xxvi. 17, 18. being a text given me for that end. Afterwards [ palled an examination before the. prejbytery . M r Tiind was burdened with the p-reatnefs of that char j j l "^vas about to take upon me : fo that I could nor leep this night, though very weary and in great need )f reft. j\iefday, June 12. I was this morning further examined, refpecting my experimental acquaintance vith Chriftianity. At ten o'clock my ordination was irtended ; the fermon preached by the Reverend ^Ir. Pemberton. At this time I was afPefted with a enfe of the important truft committed to me ; yet vas compofed, and folemn. without diftraclion : ^nd I then (as many times before) gave myfelf up J God, to be for him. and not for another. O that might always be engaged in the fervice of God, na duly remember the folemn charge I have re- ■■i^:ed. in the prefence of God, angels, and men. PART P A R T IV. Jrom his crdinatian^ 'till he began to preach to th Indians, at Crofojeekfiing, THURSDAY, June 14. I wondered, that God {hould open the hearts of any to treat me with ^indneis : 9nd faw myfelf to be unworthy of any favour, from God or men. I had much pain in my head; however determined to fet out on my jour^ ney towards Delaware ; but in the afternoon my pain increafed, fo that I was obliged to take to, my bed ; and the night following, was greatly dif- ; treifed with pain andficknefs, and alm.oft beiceaved, o,f the exercife of reafon. On Saturday I wasfome-- I thing relieved :, but unable to walk 'till the Monday following, I often admired the goodnefs of God,, that he did notiuifer me to proceed o^^i mv iourney irom tnis piace where 1 was io tenderly uied. and to be fick by the way araorig ftrangers^—God is very gracious to me, both in h£?4;h andficknefs, and in- termingles much mercy with jiii my aSidions, [OnTuefdays June 19. He fet out, and in threO' days reached his place^ near the forks of Delaware.]. Lord's day, June 24. I v/as fcarce able to walk : however, vifited my Indians, and took much paina. to infl:ru£l them. But my mind was much burdened with the weight of my work. My whole depen- dence was on God ; who alone X faw could make them willing to receive inftruftion. My heart was much engaged in prayer, fending up filent requefts to God, even while I was fpeaking to them. O that I could always go in the ftrength of the Lord ! Monday, June 25, To an eye of reafon eveiy thing that reipefts the converfion of the Heathen is. -as dark as midnight; and yet I cannot but hope in Godj for the accom.plifhment of fomething glorious among them, My foul longed much for the ad-. vancemen< ( 77 ) vancementof of the Redeemer's kingdom on earthy and was very fearful left I fliould admit feme vain' thought, and fo lofe the fenfe I had of divine things. 0 for an abiding heavenly temper ! Tuefday, June 26. I was much difcouraged with the extreme ddfRculty of the work ; yet God fup- ported me : and though the work of their converfion appeared " impoffible w^ith man. yet with God" I h\v all things were poflible." My faith was much ftrengthened, by obfcrvingthe wonderful afiiftance God afforded his fervants Nehemiah and Ezra, in. reforming his people, and re-eftablifhing his ancient church. I was much aiTifted in prayer, efpecially for the poor Heathen, and thofe of my own charge; and hoped that God would bow the heavens and come down for their falvation. It feemed to me, there could be. no impediment fufhcient to obftruft that glorious w^ork, feeing the living God, as I ftrongly hoped, was engaged for it. I continuetl iolemnly lifting up my heart to God, that I might be more mortified to this world, that my foul Diight be taken up continually in the advancement of- Chrift's kmgdom : and longed that God would purge me more, that I m.ight be as a chofen veffei to bear his name amons; the H-athcns. o Wednefday, June 27. In the afternoon, I rode feveral miles to fee if I could procure any lands for the poor Indians, that they might live together, and be under better advantages for inftruftion. While 1 was riding, I liad a deep fenfe of the Difficulty of my work ; and my foul relied wholly upon God for fticcefs, in the diligent and faithful uf.: of means, I fav/ with the greateft certainty, that - the arm of the Lord muft be rtvdaled^ for the help of thefe poor Heathen, if ever they were delivered fi^om tlie bon- dage of the powers of darkn.e^s,■ Thurfday, June i'8. Tovv^ards "noon- 1 rode up to the Indians ; and while goings, my heart went up to •God in prayer for them : I could freely tell God^ r.eknew the caufe was not mine, but his own, and it would bsfor his O'.vn glory to convert the poor ( 78 ) Indians : and blcffcd be God, I felt no defire of honour from the world, as the initrurnent of it. Saturday, June 30. My foul was much folem- nized in reading God's word; efpecialiy the ninth chapter of Daniel. I faw how God had cal- led out his fervants to prayer, and made them wreftle with him, when he defigned lo bedow any great mercy on his church. And I was afnamcd of myfelf, to think of my dulnefs and inaftivity, when there fcemed to be fo much to do for the upbuilding^ of Zion. Oh, how does Zion lie wafte !: I longed^ that the church of God might be enlarged: and was enabled to pray, in faith; my (bul feemed fen- fibiy to confide in God, and was enabled to. wreftle with him* Afterwards, I walked abroad to a place •of fweet retirement, and enjoyed afliftance in pray-^ er again : had a fenfe of my great need of divine help, and felt my foul fenfibly depend on God. Lord's day, July 1. After I came to the Indians^ my mind was confufed; and I felt nothing of that fweet reliance on God, that my foul has been com•*^ forted with in days paft. In the afternoon I felt fbill barren, when I began to preach ; I feemed ta myfelf to know nothing, and to have nothing to fay 10 the Indians ; but foon after, I found in myfelf a fpirit of love, and warmth, and power, to addrefs the poor Indians ; and God helped me tp plead with them^ to "turn from all the vanities of the Heathen, to the living God:" I am perfuaded, the Lord touched their confciences; for I never faw fuch j attention in them before.. When I came away, X If! fpent the whole time I was. ridings in prayer and 1 praife toGod. And after I had rode two miles,^ it ; came into my mind to dedicate myfelf I o God. again ;, ; which I did with great folemnity, and unfpeakable ; fatisfaaion; efpecially giving up myfelf to hrm \ anev/ in the work of the miniftry. A^ndthis I did ! without any exception or referve ; not in the lead \ fnrinking back from any difficulties, that might at- ; t2nd this bleffed work. I was moft free, chearful^ 1 and full in this dedication of myfelf. My whole ] ( 79 ) .bul cried, Lord, to thee I dedicate myfiif : O iccept of me, and let me be thine for ever. Lord^ [ defire nothing elfe ; I dehre nothing more. O :ome, come Lord, accept a poor worm. IVhom liave I in heaven but thee ? aud there is none upon earth, that I iefire befides thee." After this, I was enabled to Draife God with my whole foul, that he had en- Ibled me to devote and confecrate all m.y powers to iim in this folemn manner. My heart rejoiced in i\y particular work as a viifionary ; rejoiced in my leceffity of felf-denial ; and ftill continued to giva jp myfelf to God, and implore mercy of him ; ^raying inceffantly, every moment, Vvith fwcet fer-- t-cncy. jMy nature Keing very weak of late, was .low confiderably overcome : my fingers grew very :eeble, and numb, fo that I could ibarcely fhretch :hem out ftrait ^ and when lighted from my horfe, [ could hardly walk, my joints leemiing all to be .oofed. But I felt 2iO\xnkd.ni ft7engtk in the inner vian^ [ creached to the white people, and God helped me ir.uch. Sundry of my pool Indians were fo moved i:. to come to meeting alfo and one appeared much, roncerned. Tuefday, July 3. This morning, I Vv'as enabled t© pray under a feeling fenfe of my need of help, to ^lead with God a confiderable time. Truly God s good to me. But my foul vv'as grieved at my infulnefs and barrennefs, and longed to be more en- raged for God. O it is fweet to be th Lord's, to be- enfibly devoted to him ! What a bleffed portion is ^od ! LIow glorious, how lovely ! Omy foul longed 0 employ my time wholly forGod \ — In the eveningj. vv'as eaabled again to wrefhle with God in prayer kvitr. fervency, to maintain a felf-diffident and ivatchful frame of foirit, jealous and afraid left I ihould admit carelefsnefs or felf-coniidence. Friday, July 6» I am, of late, moft of all concerned forminifterial qualifications, and the converfion of the Heathen : laft year, I longed to be prepared for a A'orld of glory, and fpeediiy to depart out of this. A'orid j^^but of late my chief concern « for the conver- lias ( So ) fion of the Heathen ; and for that end, I long to live.! ButbleiTed be God, I have lefs defuse to live for any of the pleafures of the world, than ever I had : 1 long and love to be a pilgrim ; and want grace to imitate the life, labours, and fufferings of St. Paul among the heathen. And when I long for holinefs now, it 15 chiefly, that thereby I may become an " able mi- nifter of the New Teftament," eipecially to the Hea- then. I fpent two hours this morning in reading and prayer; and was in a watchful tender frame, afraid of every thing that might cool my aiFeftions, and draw away my heart from God. Lord's day, July 8. I was watchful, tender, and jealous of my own heart, left I fliould admit carelelT- nefs and vain thoughts, and grieve the bleifed Spirit, fo that he fhould withdraw his iweet. kind, and ten- der influences. I longed to depart, and be with Chrift," m.ore than at any time of late. My foul was exceedingly united to the faints of antient times, as well as thofe now living; efpecially my foul melted for the fociety of Elijah and Eiifha. V/ednefday, July ii. My foul w^as diffident, watchful, and tender, left I fnould offend my bleffed Friend, in thought or behaviour. I confided in, and leaned upon the bleffed God. Oh, what need did I fee myfelf to ff and in of God at all times, to affifi me and lead me ! Saturday, July 21. Towards night my burden re- fpefting m,y v/ork among the Indians began to in- creafe much ; and was aggravated by hearing fundry things that looked very difcouraging, in particular, that they intended to meet together the next day foi an idolatrous feafh and dance. Then I began to be in anguifli : I thought I muft in confcienccgo and endeavour to break them up; andknev/ not how to attempt fuch a thing. Hov/ever, I vi^ithdrew tc prayer, hoping for ftrength from above. And in prayer I v/as exceedingly enlarged, and rny foul was, much drawn out. I pleaded with fo much earnefl- nefs and imp-ortunity, that when I rofe from my knccs.^ I could fcarceiy walk flrai^ht^ myjoints were ( 8i ) oofed, the fweat ran down my face and body, and: nature feemed as if it would diflblve, I knew they were met together to worfhip devils, and not God, mdthis made me cry earneftly, that God would ap- Dear, and help me in my attempts to break up thi* idolatrous meeting. My foul pleaded long : and I thoughts God would go with me to vindicate his own :aufe : And thus I fpent the evening, praying incef- fantly that I might not be felf-dependent, but have my whole dependence upon God. What I paffed -.hrough was inexprellible. All things here below v^anifhed ; and there appeared to be nothing of any importance to me, but holinefs of heart and life, and .he converfion of the Heathen to God. All my. cares, fears, and defires, which might be faid to be Df a worldly nature, difappeared ; and were of little Tiore importance than a puff of wind, I exceeding^ iy longed, that God would get to himfelf a name n.mong tlie Heathen; andl appealed to him with the greateft freedom, that he knew I " preferred him. above my chief joy." Indeed, I had no notion or joy from this world; I cared not where or how I lived, or what hardfhips I went through, fo that I ioAd but gain fouls, to Chrift, Lord's day, July 22, When I waked, my foul was burdened with what feemed to be before me : I cried to God, before I could get out of ray bed ; as foon as I was drelTed, I withdrew into the woods, to pour out my foul to him for aflircance ; and did with un- fpcakable freedom give up myfelf afrefli to God, for life or death, for ail hardlhips he fli.culd call me to among the Heathen ; and felt as if nothing could dif- courage me from this bleffed work. I had a flrong hope, that God would bow the heavens and come down," and do fome marvellous work among the Heathen, And when I was riding to the Indians, my heart was continually going up to God ; and hoping, that God would make this the day of his power and grace amongft the poor Indians. W^hen I came to them, 1 found tliem engaged in their fro- • ^c ; but through divine ^oodnefs 1 ^ot them to break, 1 ( 84 ) Bp and attend to my preaching : yet ftill there ap- peared nothing of the fpecial power of God among' them. 1 preached again to them in the afternoon ; and obferved they were more fober than before ; but* flill faw nothing fpecial among them ; from whence Satan took occafion to buffet me with thefe curfed fuggeftions, There is no God, or if there be, he is not' able to convert the Indians, before they have more knowledge. I was very weak and weary, and ray* foul borne down with perplexity ; but was determin- ed ftill to wait upon God. Tuefday, July 24. I rode over a hideous moun- tain, to a number of Indians, at a place called Kaukfefauchung, more than thirty miles weftward from the place where I ufually preach. I found about thirty perfons, and propofed my defire of jireaching to them: they readily complied, and I preached to them only twice, they being juft then removing from this place, to Sufquahannah-river. While I was preaching, they appeared fober, and attentive : and were fomewhat furprifed, having never before heard of thefe things. There w^ere two or three, who fufpefted that Ihad fomeill de- fign upon them ; and urged, that ihe white people had abufed them, and taken their lands from them., and therefore they had no reafon to think that they were concerned for their happineis ; but, on the contrary, that they defigned to make them ilaves, or get them on board their velTels, and make them fight with the people over the water, (as they expreffed it,) meaning the French and Spaniards. However, the moft of fhem appeared very friendly, and told me, they were then going home to Sufquahannah, and deiued I would make them a vifit there, and manifefted a confiderable defire of inftruftion. This invitation gave me fome encouragement in my great work ; and made me hope, that God de- figned to " open an effeftual door to me" for fpread- iiig the gofpei among the poor Heathen farther weft- ward. [From ' ( 83 ) [From thefe Indians he returned to the Irifh ^e't- tleraent, and there preached to a numerous congre- gation : where was a confiderable d;^pearance ef awakening. Thurfday, he returned home, exceed- ingly fatigued and Ipent ; (till in the fdme niortihca- tion to the world, and folicitous for liiC advance- ment of Chrift's kingdom : and on this day fays : i " I have felt, this week, more of the ipirit of a pil- .grim on earthy than ever before; and yet fo defirous to fee Zion's profperity, that i was not fo vviUivg to leave this fcene of forrow as I ufed to be."- — On the Sabbath, he was confined by illnefs, notable to go out to preach. He continued very ill all the week ; and fays, that he thought he never before endured fuch a feafon of diftrePhng weaknefs ; and that his nature was fo fpent, that he could neither ftand, fit, nor lie with any quiet; that he was exercifed with extreme faintnefs and ficknefs at his ftomach ; and that his mind v/as as much disordered as his body. Teeming to be ftupid, and without all kind of affec- :ions; and yetperplexed, to think, that he lived for Qothing, that precious time rolled away, and he :ould do nothing but trifle." — -Concerning the next ive days he writes thus, On Lord's day, Augufl; 5, was ftill veiy poor. But though very v/eak, I /ifited and preached to the poor Indians twice, and vas ftrengthened vafhly beyond my expectations. '■ And indeed, the Lord gave me freedom and ferven- cy in addreiTmg them ; though I had not flrength • mough to ftand. but was obliged to fit dov/n the ■ vhole time. Towards night i vv as extremely .weak, ' aint, lick, and full of pam. And I have continued . nuch the fam.e laft week, through the moft of this, u it being now Friday,) unable to engage in any bufi- lefs ; frequently unable to pray in the family, lhave leither ftrength to read, meditate, or pray : and :• his perplexes my mind. I feem like, a man that has 11 his e{l:ate embarked in one fin all boat, unhappily ;;■ |Oing adrift, down a fwift torrenr. The poor ov/ner ;ands on the fhore, and looks, and laments his lofs. m »utj alas! though my all feems to be adrift, and I ftand ( 84 ) Hand and fee it, I dare not lament ; for this fmks fpirits more, and aggravates my bodily diforders O that God would pity my diflreffed ftate !" The next day three weeks, his ilinefs was not fc' extreme ; he Was in feme degree capable of bufmefs i he alfo had, for the moft part, much inward aiTiftanc<| he often exprefles great longings for the enlargemenS: .of Chrift's kingdom ; he fpeaks of his hope of this a!|j '< all his delight and joy. He continues flill to expref i his ufual longings after holinefs, and living to God !' and his fenie of his own unworthinefs : he fevera i times Ipeaks of his appearing to himfelf the vilef creature on earth ; and once fays, that he verihj < thought there were none of God's children who fel j ' fo far fnort of that holinefs, and perfeftion in thei obedience, which God requires.] i ' Saturday, September i, 1 enjoyed fome com for i and fweetnefs : and as my bodily ftrength was a litj tie reftored, fb my foul fsemed to be more engagecj | in the things of God. ^ Lord's day, September 2, I Vv^as enabled to fpeal ] to my poor Indians with much concern and ferveH: cy; and God enabled me to exercife faith in himf while I was fpeaking to them. I perceivedj tha ' fome of them were afraid to embrace Chnftiamty, lef: they fhould beinchanted and poifoned by thepowozos ^ ^ but [ bid a challenge to all theiQ powers of darknefs, t(j ' do their worftupon TTz^firft; I told my people, iwai ' a Chrijiian, and alked them why the powozvs did no < bewitch and poifon me? I fcarcely ever felt mor( * fcniible of m^y own unworthinefs, than in this : but ] 1 faw the honour of God was concerned 5 and I trufte( ' to be preferved, for a teftimony of the divine powe: i andgoodnefs, and of the truth of Chriftianity. ^ Wednefday, September 26. After a journey t( | " New-England, I rode home to the Forks of Deia ' ware. What reafon have i to blefs God, who ha! ' preferved me in riding more than four hundred anc tv/enty miles. My health iikewife is greatly recover p.d. O that I could dedicate my ail to God ! Monday ( h ) Mondavj Oftober i. I was engaged this day in making preparation for my journey lo Sufquahannah ; and withdrew feveral times to plead for the divine prefence to go with me to the poor Pagans. Towards nio-ht I rode about four miles, and met my brother Byram ;* who was come, at my dehre, to be my companion to the Indians. I rejoiced to fee him ; t and God made his converfation profitable to ms I ifaw him, as I thought, more dead to the world, its cares, and alluring objcds, than 1 was : and this made look within rayfelf, and gave me a greater fenfe of my ingratitude, and mifery. Tuefday, Oftober 2, I fet out on my journey, in company with my dear brother Byram, and my in- terpreter, and two chief Indians from the Forks of Delaware. We travelled about twenly-fivemiles, and lodgedinone of thelafthoufcs on ourroad; afterwhich there was nothing but a hideous ^ndhowVinawildernefs. Wednefday, October 3. We went on our way into the wildernefs, and found far the mofl: difficult and dangerous travelling, that ever any of us had feen ; we had fcajxe any^thing elfe but lofty mountains, deep valleys, and hideous rocks, to make our way through. However. I felt fweetnefsin divine things, and had my mind intenfely engaged in meditation. Near night, my beaft that I rode upon, hung one of her legs in the rocks, and fell down under me ^ but through divine goodnefs, I was not hurt. However, fne broke her leg ; and being near thirty miles from any houie, I faw nothing that could be done to pre- fer/e her life, and fo was obliged to kill her, and to profecute my journey on foot. Juft at dark, wc kind- led a fire, cut up a few bufhes, and made a fiielter over our heads, to fave us from the froft, which was very hard ; and committing ourfelvesto Godj we lay- down on the ground, and ilept quietly. [The next day, they went forward on their jour- ney, and at night took up their lodging in the woods in like manner.] Friday, i - H * Mmifter at a place called Rockciticus. ahoitt forty miksfrom Mr, BraincrSfs lodgings. ( 86 ) Friday, October 5= We rii i ivedat Sufquahannah- river, at a place c^Wcd Opehoihaupuiig : found there twelve Indian houfes : after 1 had faluted the king in a friendly manner, I toidhim my bufmefs, and that my deli re was to teach them Chnfuanky . After feme con- iultation, the Indians gathered, and I preached to them. And when I had done, 1 afked, if they would hear me again. They replied, they would conhder of it ; and foon after fent me word, that they would immediately attend, if I would preach ; which I did %yith much freedom. When I afked them again,whether they would hear me further, they replied, they would the next day, I was exceeding fenlible of the impof- i'ibility of doin^ any thing ior the poor Heathen without fpecial afli fiance : and my foul refted on God, and left it to him^ to do as he pieafed in his own caufe. Saturday, Oftober 6a 1 preached again to the In- dians : and in the afternoon, vifited them from hoafe iC houle, and invited them to come and hear me again the next day, and put off their hunting delign, till ;^Ionday. This night, the Lord flood by me,'* to encourage and ftrengthen my foul : 1 fpent more than an hour in fecret retirement; and was enabled to " pour out my heart before God," for the increafe of grace in my foul, for minifterial endowments, and forfuccefs among the poor Indians. Monday, Oftober 8. I vifited the Indians with a defign to take my leave, fuppofmg they would g©. out a hunting early ; but beyond my expedation and hope, they defired to hear me preach again. 1 glad- ly complied with their rcqueft, and endeavoured to anfwer their ehjellions againft Chriftianity. Then they went away ; and we fpent the afternoon in read- ing and prayer, intending to go homeward early the next day. Tuefday, Oftober 9, We rofe about four, and commending ourfelves to God by prayer, \v& fet out homewards about five, and travelled till paft fix at night. We then made us a fire, and a flrelter of harks, and fo refted.— In the night, the wolves howled round us ; but God preferved us, Friday, ( 87 1 Friday, October 12. I came home to my lodging; where I poured outmy foultoGod, and endeavoured to blefs him for his abundant goodnefs to me in my late journey. I fcarce ever enjoyed more heahh ; and God marveloufly, and almoft miraculoufly, fupported-. me under the fatigues of the way, and travelling on foot. Bleffed be the Lord, that preferves me in all my ^vays. Lord's day, Ocfoberi4. I ^v'as much confufed and" perplexed in my thoughts ; and almofi difcouraged^ - thinking I fiiould never be able to preach any more. However, I went to the place of public worfhip, lifting up my heart, and God was gracious to me, and helped me to plead with him for holinefs. and to ufe flrongarguments with him, drawn from the fafFerings of Chriff for this very end. that men might be made holv. Afterwards I was much aiTifted in preaching. I know not that God ever helped me to preach in a more clofe manner. Through the infiaite goodnefs of God, f felt what Lfpake; and God enabled me to fpeak with uncommon clearnefs : and yet I was deeply feniible of my defects in preaching ; blclled be the Lord for his mercy. In the evening I longed to be entirely alone, to bkfs God for help in extremity; and longed for great degrees of holinefs, that I might fnew my gratitude to God. Tuefday, October 16. I felt a fpirit of folemnity and watchfulnefs ; and was afraid I fnould not live to and upoyi God ; I longed for more intenfenefs and fpirituality. In the evening 1 enjoyed f\veet aflift- ance in prayer, and thirfted and pleaded to be as holy as the bleifed angels. Friday, Oftoberig. I had an abafmg f?,nie of my own unholinefj ; and felt my foul melt and mourn, that 1 had grieved a gracious God, who was fhiii kind, to me, notwithftandmg ail my unworthinefs. My foul enjoyed a fweet feafon of forrow, that I had wronged that bleffed God, who was reconciled to me in his dear fon. My foul was now tender, de- vout, andfolemn : and I was afraid of nothing but fin ; and afraid of that in every action and thought. H 2 Wednefday,. ( 88 ) Wedneifelay, Oftober 24. Near noon I rode to my people; fpeiit Tome time, and prayed witli them : felt the frame of d^pil^rim on earth ; longed much to leave this gloomy manfion : but yet found patience and refignation. As I returned home from the Indians, i fpent the wiiole time in lifting up my heart to God. in the evening 1 enjoyed a bleiTed feafon in pray-' tr; was enabled to cry to God with a child-like fpi- rit : enjoyed a fweet freedom in fupplicating for my- felf, and for my dear friends; and longed to be as. lively in God's fervice as the angels. Friday, Oftober 26. In the morning my foul was melted With a fenfe of divine goodnefs to fuch a vile woiTO : I delighted to lean upon God, and place my whole trufl in him ; my foul was exceedingly grieved for fm, and prized and longed after holi- nefs ; it v/ounded my heart deeply, yet fweetly, to think her ; J hid. abufed a kind God. I longed to bcpcrfccL-'v hoiy, that I might not grieve a gracious God: I longed for holinefs more for this end, than for my happinefs fake : and yet this was my greateft happinefs. never more to dillionour, but always to glorify the bicffed God. Wednefday, Oftober 31. I was fenfible of my barrennefs : rny foul failed when I remembered the fervency I had enjoyed. Oh (I thought) if I could but be fpiritual, warm, heavenly -minded, and af- fedioTiately breathing after God, this would be bet- ter than life to me I My foul longed exceedirig'.;' for ^eath, to be loofed from this dalnefs, and made t\cr a6l,ivein the fervice of God. I feemed to live for nothing, and to do no good : and Oh, the burden of fuch a life ! Oh, death, death, my kind friend, haften and deliver me from dull mortality, and make me fpiritual and vigorous to eternity I Thurfday, November 1. I felt life, and longings after God; I longed to be always folemn, devout, and heavenly-minded ; and was afraid to leave off praying, left I fhould again lofe a fcnfe of the fwect things of God. Friday, ( Sg ) Friday, November 2. I v/as exerciied. forely with fome things that I thought ir.yfclf mou; of ail freed from. And thus I have ever found it. when I have thought the battle was over, and the conquefh was gained, and fo let down my ^vatch5 the enemy has ruen up and done me the greateft Injury. [The next dav hefet out on a journey to Xev/- York. to meet the Prefbytery there : and was gone from home more than a fortnight. He feemed ta. enter on this journey with great rehi6lance ; fearing it would cooi his religious affections. But yet, in his journey he had fpecial feafons of God's gracious . prefence. He was greatly fatigued therein by cold and ftorms ; and v/hen he returned from New-York to Nevv'-Jerfey. v/as vei^ ill for fome tim.e.] Wednefday. November 21. I rode from Newark to Pvockciticoiis inthe cold, and was almoil: overcome with it, But I enjoyed fvveetnefs in converfation with Mr. Jones : my foul loves the people of God,." and efpecially the minifters. who feel the fame rrials that I do. Tiiurfday, November 22,. I came on my v/ay to- Delaware river, tho' much difordered with a cold and pam in my head. About fix at night. I loil my way in the wildemefs. and wandered over rocks- and mountains^- down hideous fteeps, through f^vamps. and moil; dreadfui and. dangerous places ; . r.ndthe night being dark, I was greatly expofed : I. was much pinched v/ith cold, and diftreiied with- an extreme pain in m.v head, attended with hcknefs at my ftomach ; fo that every flep I took was dif-^ treiiincr to me. I had little ho^e, but that I muft lie in the woods all night=. But about ^nine o'clock I found a houfe, and was kindly entertained. Thus I have frequently been expofed: but' God has. hi- therto preferved me : bleffed be his name. Such fatigues and hardfhips fcr\'e to wean jne from the earth ] and, will make heaven the fv/eeter. For- iT.erly, when I was thus expofed, I was ready to • pleafe myfelf with the thoughts of a comfortable- houfe, a warm fire, and other outward comforts H p. bu^/ ( 9^ ) , |||| but now thefe have lefs place in my heart, (through > the grace of God), and my eye is more to God for < comfort. In this world 1 expeft tribulation ; and it does not now appear flrange to me ; I do not in 'i feafons of difficulty flatter myfelf that it will be bet- 'j ter hereafter; but rather think, how much worfe it jj might be ; how much grccaier trials others of God's | children have endured; and how much greater are f, yet perhaps refcrved for me. BlelTed be God, that S he makes the thoughts of my journey's-end a great i comfort to me, under my fharpeft trials ; and fcarce S ever lets thefe thoughts be attended with terror; but | frequently with great joy. | [ Withm the next twelve days he fpent much time ij in hard labour, with others, to make for himfeif a \l little cottage, to live in by himfeif.] ! Thurfday, December 6. Having now a happy ! opportunity oi being retired in a houie of my own ; 1 let apart this day for fccret prayer and fading, to implore the bleiTmg of God on myfelf, on my poor | people,^ on my friends, and on the church of God, j And ri^w God was pleafed to give me a difcovery of ; the plague of my own heart, more affefting than I have j of late had. And e fpecially I favv my finfulnefs in this, that when God h'dd withdrawn himfeif, inflead | of living and dying in ^z^r/z«^ of him, I have been I difpofed to one of thefe two things, either to yield \ an unbecoming refpe6l to f)me earthly objefts, as if i happinefs were to be derived from them ; or to be | fQi:YQ.ily Jroward and impatient, and unfuitably defir- | ous of death, l hat which often drove me to this im- | patient defire of death, was a defpair of doing any good in life. But now God madre mi fenhbie of my litij and enabled me to cry to him for Jorgivenejs, i 5:'et this was not all I wanted ; for my foul appeared | exceedingly polluted : and I wanted to be purified by the blood of fprinkling that cleanfeth from all fin." And this I was enabled to pray for in faith, j I enjoyed much more intenienefs, fervency, and \ fpiritaality than I expeded ; God was better to me ■ than my fe^rs. I v/as enabled to perfevcre in prayer i -"till ( 9' ) till the evening : I Taw fo much need of divine help, in every refpeft, that I knew not how to leave off", and had forgot that I needed food. Lord's day, December 9. I preached, both parts of the day, at a place called Gree?izvich, about fen miles from my own houfe. In the hrft; difcourfe I had fcarce any wannth. In the intermiiTion-feafon I got alone among the bufhes, and cried to God be- ing in anguifh, that 1 could not addrefs fouls with more companion and tender alfe6lion : which I faw I could not get of myfelf, any more than I could make a world. In the latter exercife, bieffed be the Lord, I had fome fervency, both in prayer and preaching: and in the application 1 was enabled to addrefs precious fouls with affe£lion, tendernefs, and importunity. The fpirit of God was there ; the effects were apparent, tears running down many cheeks. Monday, December 10. I preached again : God enabled me to be in fome degree faithful ; I rode home in the evening, and bieffed God for his good- nefs ; and rejoiced, that fo much of my work was done, and 1 fo mucli nearer my reward. Wednefday, December 12. I was very weak; but affifled in fecret prayer, and enabled with fweet- neis to cry, " Come, Lord Jefus! come quickly." My foul " longed for God, for the living God." O how delightful it is, to pray under fuch influences! How much better than one's necejfary food! I had at this time no difpofition to eat. (though late in the morning;) for earthly food appeared wholly tafte- lefs. 1 vifiled and preached to the Indians, in the afternoon; but under much dejeftion. I found my inttrpieUr under fome concern for his foul ; which was fome comfort to me. I longed greatly for his converfion, poured out my foul to God for him : and was enabled, to leave all with God. Thurfday, December 13 1 fpent the day in faff- ing and prayer, to implore the divine bleffmg, more efpecially on my poor people; in particular for my 'vicrprctCTj and three or four more under fome con- cern ( 92 ) cern for their fouls : but, in the evening it feemed an if I had need to pray fornothing fo much as for iht pardon of fms committed in the day paft. The fin I had moft fenfe of, were pride, a.nd wanderinj thoughts. Yet after all my forrows, I truft, this da) and the excercifes of it have been for my goodj anc taught me more of my weaknefs without Chrift, thar I. knew before. Lord's day, December 16. I was fo overwhelm' ed with deje6lion, that I knew not how to live; ] longed for death exceedingly : my foul was funk irtti deep waters y and.M^ Jlocds were ready to drozvn me ] was fo much oppreifed, that my foul was in a kinc of horror : I had no dirfteffing doubt about my owri ftate ; but would have cheerfully ventured (as far a J I, could know) into eternity. While I was going tc preach to the Indians, my foul was in anguifh ; I de^ ipaired of doing any good. But at lafh 1 infilled or the evidence of Chriftianity from the miracles o Chrift : and God helpedm.e to make a clofe applica- don to thofe that refufed to believe. I was enconv raged, to hnd, that God enabled me to be faithfu once more. Then I went and preached to anothei company of them; but was very weary and faint, In the evening, 1 was fomething refrefhed, and ena- bled to\ pray and praife God with compofure and af- feftion : I was now willing to live, and longed to dc more for God, than my weak ftate of body would admit of. I can do all things through Chrift thai flrengthens me;" and 1 am willing to Jpend and ^ /pent in his (eicvice. Tuefday, December 18. I went to the Indians, and difcourfed to them near an' hour, and at laH God helped me to fpeak with warmth. My inter-\ preter alfo was amazingly aflirted ; and I doubt not but " the Spirit of God was upon him.''' And pre-[ fently moft of the grown perfons were much alfeft* ed, and the tears ran down their cheeks ; and one ola\ man (I fuppofe, an hundred years old) was fo a£Fe61;-[ "ed, that he wept, and feemed convinced of the im- portance of what I taught them. . I ftaid with therfi s - : 93 ) I coniiderable time, exhorting tliem : and came ■'-V, lifting up my lieart to God, and encGuraged :itcrprdcr to " ftvivc to enter in at the ftrait gate/' ihurfday, Januaiy 5. 1744-5- Being fenlible of he great of the oat pouring of God's Spirit, I jent this day in failing and prayer, to feek fo great I mercv for myfelf, and my poor people in particu- . and for the church of God in general. Friday, Januar\^ 4. I rode up to the Indian% if.^r noor ; fpent fome time there under great diior- ler ; mv foul w.xsfunk dcicn iyito Cu'fp zvaters, and I was .lirofx overwhelmed with melancholy. Saturday. January 5. I was much difordered ■/: :h pain in my head. I vvr:S diftreffed with a fenfe m\- fpirituai pollution, and ten thoufand youthful, •ea. and childiTn follies : all which appeared now r:flr, and in a lively view, as if committed ycfier- ,jv. and miade my foal aihamed before God. Wednefday, January 9. In the morning, God was )leafedto rem.ove that gloom which has of late, op- ■-•eired my mind, and gave me freedom and fweet- -.cf-in prayer. I v/as encouraged to plead for grace or myfelf, and mercy for my poor Indians ; and was. vveetly affifted in m.y interceffions with God for others. Thofe things that of late have appeared al- noft impolTible now. not only pcHible, but eafy. s'eihaminyj to aihil at a facramcntal ccca» fion.J Saturday, June 8. I was exceeding -weak and fa- • tigued wnth riding in the heat yefterday ; but being . deiired, I preached in the afternoon, to a crouded audience, from Ifa. xl. 1. " Comfort ye. comfort ye ' mv people, faith God." God your was pleafedto give me great freedom, in opening the forrows of God V people, and in fetting before them comforting confi- - derations. And, bleifed be the Lord, ifwas a fwect - melting feafon in the alTembly. Lord's day, June 9. • I difcourfed to the multitude. extirupcre, with fome reference to that facred palTage, Ifa. iiii. 10, " Yet it pleafed the Lord to bruife him." God gave me great affifbance in addrclTing fmners: and the word was attended with amazing. ■Dower ; many fcores, iF not hundredij in that great ailembly, confiibing of three or four thoufand. were ■ much affefted ; fo that there was a ver\^ great' mourning, like the mourning of Hadadrimmon.'* — In the evening, I could hardly look any body in the face, becauie of the imperfections I faw in my^" Derfoim.ances in the day pafl. Tucfday, June 11. ] fpent the day m.ainly in converfation with Chriilian friendi : and en.* ■ joyed a fweet fenfe of divine things. O how dehra- ble it is, to keep company with God's children ! Thefc are the " excellent ones of the earth, in whom/' 1 can truly fay, '> is all my deli-ht."' ( i02 ) what delight will it aiTord, to meet them^ all in a ftate of perfeftion ! Lord, prepare me for that ftate. Tuefday, June 18. I fet out from New-Brunf- • wick with a defign to vifit fome Indians at a place vAlcd Crofivcck/ung in New-Jerfcy, towards the fca.* ; In the afternoon 1 came to a place called Cranberry^ [ and meeting with a leiious minifter, lodged there j with him. i i * Mr. Brain crd havings zihen ai Bofiim, zuroU and left U'ith a friend <3 (^nV/" relation of his labours with the In- * euans, during tJuJp act of ti?ne ktzvetn November ^. 1744? j and June ig, 1745, concludes zvith this pajage : " As \ 7>:y body was very feeble, fo my mind was fear ce everfo much i dijcouraged about the convrrfion of the Indians, as at this \ tinu. And i^i this fate of body and viind I made my firfi \ mfit to the Indians in New-Jerfey,^ j PART VII. I From his firf beginning to preach to tlie Indians at Crof" I zvcekfung, till, he returned froni his laf journey to Snfqua- ' hannah*. I are now come to tliat part of Mr. Brai- i VV nerd's life, wherein he had his greateft fuc* i f.efs. After all his agonizing in prayer, and travel- i ling in hirth, for the convcrfion of Indians; and after waiiirig in a way of perfevering prayer, lahour,. and i iiiflering, as it were through a long ; at length ^ the day dawns : Weeping continues for a night, ] but joy comes in the morning,. He went forth weep- < ing, bearing precious feed, and. now he comes with i| rejoicing, bringing hi^ fheaves with him." Thede- | hred event is brought to pafsat laft; but at a time, and in a place, that fcarce ever entered into his I heart. An account of this is here inferted, as it i was drawn up by Mr. Brainerd himfelf, purfuant | 10 the order of the honourable fociety in Scotland. Wednefd^y, j ( ) Wednefday, June 19. Having fpentmofl: of my- time for more than a year paft amongfh the Indians^ in the Forks of Delaware in Penfylvania; and having in that time made two journeys to Sufquahannah liver, far back in that province, in order to treat, with the Indians there, rcfpetting Chriftianity ; and ; not having had any confiderable fuccefs in either of;' thofe places; upon hearing that there v/as a number, of Indians in a place called (by the Indians) Crof- weekfungin New-Jerfey. near fourfcore miles fouth- • eaftward from the Forks of Delaware. I determined - to make them a.viht, and fee what might be done; . towards the Chriftianizing of them ; and accordingly , arrived among them this day, I found,ver/ few perfons at the p:Iace I vifited. and • perceived the Indians in thefe parts were much feat- teredj there being not more than two or three fami- lies in a place, and thefe fmall fettlements fix, ten, : fifteen, twenty, and thirty mile?, and fome morCj from the place I was then at. However, I preached ::o thofe few who appeared well difpofed. and, not inclined to cavil, as the indi-ans had frequently done si fe where. When I had concluded my difcoarfe, .1 infonned :hera (there being none but a few women and child-: -en) that I would willingly vifitthem again the next iay. Whereupon they readily fet out, and travel- led ten or fifteen miles, in orier to give no= ice to fomc of their friends al that diftauce. Thefe A'omen, like the woman of. Samaria, . fecmed dcfi= ousthat others might " fee the man that told them , A'hat they had done" in their lives paft, and the mi- epy' that attended their idolatrous ways. [ Thurfday, June 20. Towards night, I preached 0:the Indians again ; and had more hearers than be- "ore. . In the evening, I enjoyed peace and ferenity )£mind, compofure and comfort in prayer; and. was laabled to lift up my, head with joy, under an apprc- lenfion that my redemption draws nigh. Oh,_blef- ed be God. that th-ere rcm?.ins a reft to his poor I'ear^' people ! it. - Friday- ( icr4 ) Friday, June 21. I was refrefhed in lecretprayer; sj but law myfelf a poor worthlefs creature, without || wifdom todireft, or ftrength to help myfelf. Blef- !|| fed be God, that lays me under a happy^ neceffity of j| of living upon himlelfl ! i |j Saturday, June 22. About noon, I rode to tire \} Indians again ; .and near niglit preached to about 30 | of them,, i found my body, much fhrengthened, and !j was enabled to fpeak with abundant plainn^efs and i warmth. And thepower of God evidently attended jj the word; fo that fundry perfbns were brought |i under great concern for their fouls, and made to flied : many tears,,, and to wilh > for Chrift to lave them. My foul was much refreflied, and quickened in my j work ; and I could not but ii3end much time with ; ; them, in order to open both their miiery and reme^-iH dy. While riding, before I came to the Indians, I ]\ was enabled to cry to God almoft incefTantly. Irt j the evening alfo 1 fb-und the confolations of - God'! were not fmall: I was then willing to live, and inii fome refpefts defirous <3f it, that I might do fome-- thing for the kingdom of Chrift ; and yet death ap- -j peared pleaf^nt: fo that, I was in a ftrait between - two. 1 am often weary of this world; but it is de-" firable to be drawn,- rather than driven out of it. Lord's day, June 23. I preached to the Indiani^j and fpent the day with thjsm. — Their number ftilt i j increafed; and all with one confent feemed to re- joice in my coming among them. Not a word of oppohtion was heard from any, although in timei ■ paft they had been quite oppoiite to any thing o£;/ that nature* June 24. r preached to the Indians at their defirCy.- and upon their own motion. To fee poor Pagans 1 defirous of hearing the gofpel of Chrift, animated - me to difcourfe to them, although I was very weak,;, and my fpirits much exhaufted. They attended'' with the greateft ferioufnefs and diligence ; and there was fome concern apparent among them.. ] i June 27. I vifited and preached to the Indian^-*- again. Their nuraber now amounted to about forty per- fonv { i«>5 ) fons. Their folemnity and attention ftill contmued ', and a cOTiiiderablc concern for their fouU becanjo very apparent among fundry of them^ Friday, June 28. The Indians beingnow gathered a conriderable number of them, from their feveral diftant habitations^ requefled me to preach twice a day to them, being delirous to hear as much as they could, while i was with them-. I chearfuUy com- plied, and cQuid not hut admire the< gqodnefs of God, who had inclined them to - inquire, after the way of falvation. Saturday, June 29, .! preached twice- to the Indi- ans; and could Tiot but wonder at their ferioufner95 and the ftri6lnefs of their, attention. — ^Blei^ed be God that has inclined their hr-arts to hear. And O how refreflnng it is to me, to fee them attend with fuch uncommon diligence and affeftion,, J likewife faw the hand or God making provifion for their fubfiftence together, in order to their being inftrudled. For this day and the day before, with only walking a little way from the place of our daily, meeting, they killed three deer^ which were a feafon- able. fupply for their wants, and without which-, they could not have fubfiftcd. together in order to attend the means of grace,, I-ord's day, June 30. I preached twice this day alfo, and obferved more concern and afEe6lion a- mong the poor Heathens than ever ; fo that they even conflrained me to tarry longer with them ; although my conftitution was exceedingly worn out, and my health much impaired by the late fatigues and labours, and- elpecially by my late journey to Siif-quahannah. July 1. I preached again twice to a very ferious and attentive aiTembly, who had now learned, ta at- tend the worfhipof God with Chriflian decency. There were now between forty and JJty perfons of them prefent, old and young. I fpent fbme time in difcourfing with them in private, inquiring what they remembered of the great truths that had been taught them, it v/as amaz- ( io6' }■ ihg. to fee how they had received and retained the inftruftions given them, and what a meafure of knowledge fome: of them; had acquh-ed in a fe\v days.. ' July 2. I was obliged, to leave, thefe Indians a't Grofweeklung,. thinking it my duty, ;as focn as health would admit, to vilit thof'e at the Forks of the Dela* ware. When I came to take leave of them, they all earneflly inquired when I would Gome again, and expreffed a great defire of being farther inftruft- cd : and of their own accord agreed, that when I fbould com.e again, they, would ali meet and live together during my continuance with them; and that they would do their utmoft, endeavours to gather all the other Indians in thefe parts that v/ere farther remote. And when I parted, one told me with! many tears, " She wilhed God would change her heart another, that '*fhe wanted to find Chrifh and an old man that had . been one of their chiefsji wept bitterly. I then promifed them to return a'si ipeediiy as-my health, and bufmefs elfewhere wouldi admit, and feit not a little concerned at parting,- left; good imprcffions then apparent upon them, might] wear off. ! Afterwards I rode to Brunfwick, near: forty miles, and lodged there, I felt my heart drawn out aftet God in prayer, alrnoft all the afternoon . And iti the evening, could not lie-lp crying to God for thefe poor Indians ; and after I went to bed, my heart eontinued to go out to God for them, 'till I dropped afieep,. '[lit W3iS now fo beat out by con flan t preaching, that he found it necelTary to give himfelf fome re-* laxalion. He fpent therefore about a week in New- Jerfey, vifiting feveral minifters, and performing' lome neceffary bufinefs. And though he was very: weak in body, yet he feems to have been ftrong in; fpirit. On Friday, July 1 2. he arrived at his own; houfe in the Forks 4>f Delaware; continuing ftill free from melancholy ; and from day to day enjoying! Exedoin and refre£hrn.ent.l J ( "Lord's day, July 14, I difcourfed to the Indiam twice, feveral of whom appeared convinced of their fin and mifery ; fo that they wept much the whole time of divine fervice. Afterwards I difcourfed to a number of white people then prefent, Ihurlday, July 18. I longed to -fpend the little inch of time I have in the world for God. Felt a fpirit of fcnoufnefsj tendernefs, and devotion, and wiflied to fpcnd the whole night in prayer and com- munion with God. Friday, July 19. In the evening I walked abroad for prayer and meditation, and jsnjoyed compofure and freedom in thefe fweet exercifesj efpecially in meditation on Rev, iii, 12. Him that overcometh, will I make a pillar in the temple of my God," &c. This was a delightful theme. Oh, when fhaii I go iiq 7no)e out from the fervice and enjoyment of the dear Lord ! Lord, haften the blelfed day. Lord's day, July 21, I preached to the Indians firft, then to a number of white people, andin the afternoon to the Indians again. — Divine truths fe em. ed to make very confiderable impreffions upon fe- veral of them, and caufed the tears to flow freely. Afterwards I baptized my interpreter and his loije^ vvho were the firft I baptized amongthe Indians. They are both perfons of fome experimental know- ledge in religion ; have both been awakened to a fo- .emn concern for their fouls and brought to a fenfe ^f their mifery ^nd undomnejs ; and have both been :omforted with divine confolations. It may perhaps be fatisfadory that I fliould give "ome relation of his experience fince he has been .vith me. When I firft employed him in the beginning of ummer 1744, he was well fitted for his Vvork in re- gard of his acquaintance with the Indian andEnglifb anguagcj and in regard of his defire that the Indians hould conform to the cuflom^s and manners of the inglifli. But he feemed to have no impreflion of elision, and in that refpe£l was very v.nfd for his ( ,) work, being uncapablc of underfianding and com- municating to others many things of importance ; 'fc| that I laboured under great difadvantages in addref |i fing the Indians, for want of his having an experi | mental acquaiiltance with divine truths ; and, aij times I was much difcouraged, when I oblervQC'j that divine truths made little or ne im.prefuon upor [i him ^or many weeks together. I He indeed behaved foberly, (although before h( had been a hard drinker)^ and feemed honeftly en gaged as far as he was capable in the performance o; •his work, and efpecially he was very defirous th^a^ the Indians iliould conform to the cuftoms of th« Chriftian world. But flill feemed to have nocoti cern about his o\\^i Xouh Near the latter end of July 1744? I preached 'ti an affembly of white people, with freedom an< fervency : at which time he was prefent, and wa fomewhat awakened; fo that the next day he dH courfed freely with me about his fpiritual concerns and gave me an opportunity to ufe farther endea vours to faften the imprellions upon his mind : an( I could plainly perceive after this, that he addre{fe< the Jndians with more concern and fervency. But thefe impreffions feemed to decline, 'till iij the fall of the year following he fell in a weak flat of body. At this feafon divine truth took hold 0 him, and made deep impreffions upon his mind. was brought under great concern for his foul, amj wa^ burdened from day to day. His trouble pref t vailed, 'till at length his fleep departed from hiir and he had little reft day or night; but walke- about under great preffure of mind, and appears like another ma.n to his neighbours, who could ncj f( but obferve his behaviour with wonder. After he had been fometime flriving for merc) he fays, there feemed to be an impaffable mountai before him. He was preffing towards heaven, bi " his way was hedged up with thorns, that he coul not fti ran inch farther." He looked this way an, that way, but c«uld find no way at all. He felt " | fignifie| ( i®9 .0 'gni.hedjLift nothing at all to ftrive and ftruggle any niorr."' ".And here, he-faySj he gave over ilriving, :ind felt that -it was a gone cafe with him, as to h:s ; power, and that all hds attempts were, and for ever ^Touid be vain and fruitlefs. He knew, he laid, he was not guilty of foir.e TV'icked actions as others were guilty of. He had not been ufed to ileal, q^uarrel. and murder; tr,e latter of which is common a.mong the Indians. He likewife knew that he had done many things thst were right. But ftill his cry was, '-'that he had nc- r-er done one good thing,'"' (meaning that he had never done any thing from a right /;rtHaV?k and with a right viezv, though he had dons many things that \veYQ riiaterL^:illy^QQd.] And nov/ I thought, faid he, that I muff hnk down to hell, that there was no hope for me. " becaufe I never could do any thing -hat was good:'"' and if God let mc alone never fe long, and I fhould tiy never fo much, flili I feouid vlo nothing^jut what lo bad. There was one thing more in his view of thing.^ -".lat was very remarkable. He not only faw, what X- miierable flate he himifelf was in, but he faw the vv-orld around l>im were in the lame perifhing cir- ciimilances. And this, he -faw c-leariyj " asif he xvas now a^\-akcd out of flcep> or had a cloud taken from before his eyes," Hefa.wthat the life he hp.d lived \vas tlie v/ay to eternal dteath, that he was novv on t';:e brink •of endlefs m.ifery ; and when he looked round he faw multitudes of others who had lived the fame life with himfelf. ^had no more goodnefs than he, and.yet dreamed that they were fafe en-ough, as he had formerly done. After he had been foribmetime in this<:ondi-tion-, fenl'.blc of the im.poiiibility of helping himfelf ; then, he lay?, it was borne in upon his mhnd as if it had I iicn audibly fpoken, There is hope, thcTe is h . Whereupon his ioul feemed to refl and be 1 -lie raeafure fatished, though he had no con- r arr-abie jo3' ; Neither<:a.n he rememember diilinctly any views he had of Chiift, or give any clear accouitt! of his acceptance through him. But thefe exercifes of foul were followed by a great change, fo that it might juftly be faid, he was become another tnan. He was much altered, and even the world could not but admire what had be- falien him to make fo great a change in his temper, dilcourfe, and behaviour. - Andefpecialiy there was a furprifmg alteration in his public performances. He now addreffed the In- dians with admirable fervency, and fcarce knew when to leave off : and fometimes when I had con- cluded my difcourfe, and was returning homeward, he would tarry behind to repeat and inculcate what had been fpoken. His change is abiding^ and his life unbkmijlied to this day, though it is now more than fix months fmce he experienced it; in which fpace he has been, as much expofed to firong drink^ as pofiible, in divers places; and yet has never difcovered any defire after it. And upon ftri£l; obfer\^tion of his Chriftian tem- per, and unblemifhed behaviour forfo confiderable a time, I think I have reafon to hope that he is created anew in Chrift Jefus to good works." His name is Mofes Tinda Tautamy ; he is about fifty years of age, and pretty well acquainted with the notiors and cuftoms of his countrymen, and fo is the belter able to expofe them. He has already been, and I trufl will yet be a bleffing to other In- dians. Friday, July 26. Tn the evening, God Was pleafdd' to help me in prayer, beyond what I have experienc- ed for fome time ; efpecially for the enlargement of Chrift's kingdom, and for the converfion of my poor people : my foul relied on God for the accomplifli- ment of that great work. Oh, how fweet were the thoughts of death to me at this time ! How I longed to be with Chrifl;, to be employed in the glorious work of angels, and with an angel's freedom, vigour, and delight! And yet how willing was I to ftay awhile on earth, ( ) earth, that I might do fomething, if the Lord, pleafed, for his intereft. My foul longed for the ingathering of the DOor Heathen ; and I cried to God for them mofh willingly and heartily. This was a fweet feafon; I had a lively tafte of heaven, and a temper faited in fome meafure to the entertainments of it. My foul was grieved to leave the place; but my body was^ weak and worn out, 1 longed that the remain- ing part of my life might be filled up with more fcr- veiicy and aftivity in me things of God ! Oh the in- ward peace, compofure, and God- like ferenity of fuch a frame ! Heaven nm{f, needs differ from this ■ only in de cree, and not in kind. Lord's day,. July 28* I preached again, and per- ceived m.y people, .more thoughtful than ever. 1 ^vas - told by fome, thatfeemg my interpreter and his v^^ife baptized made them more concerned than any thing they nad ever feen or heard,. There was indeed a :o:.riderable,appearance of divine pov.'er among them u tlie time that ordinance was adminiftered. July QQo-, I difcourfed.to a number of my. people, . md gave them partic^alar advice and direction, beii:g -iow about to leave them for the prefent, in order to -enew my vifit -to the Indians in Nevz-Jerfey. They .vere very attentive, and earneftly defirous to kno A'' .vheni defignedto return, . [On Wednefday, July 31. -He fet out onhis return o =^ rofweekfang, and arrived there the next day. In lis wdy he had longing defiresthat he might come to he Lidians in the " fulnefs of the blelTing of the ^ofpel of .Chrift ;" attended with a fenfe of his own ;reat weaknefs, dependence, and worthleiTnefs.] Friday, Augufl 2. In the evening L retired, and iiy foul was drawn out in prayer to God; efpecially or my poor people, to whom I had fent word to ga- her togetlier. that I might preach to them the next lay. i was much enlarged in praying for their con- •erhon ; and fcarce ever found my defires of any hing of this nature, fofenfibly and clearly, and free rom felfifh viev/s. 1 had no defire to be the in- ' ' ujT.ent offo glorious a work, as I prayed for among K 2 t.^.e ( 1^.2 ) tlie Indians j if the blefTed work might be accomplifh- 'I ffl to the lionour of God, and the enlargennent of the ; dear Redeemer's kingdom, this was all my defireand: jJ care; and for this maercy I hoped, but with tremb- 1 iing. My rifmg hopes, refpefting the converfion of | the Indians, have been fo often dafhed, that my fpi-» 'j rit u as it were broken, and I hardly dare hope. S::turday, Auguft 3. I now found them ferious, | and a number of them under deep concern for an in- . | tereft in Chrift: their convictions of their fmful and.. | perifiiing ftate having, in my abfencebeen much pro-. | moted by the labours of the Reverend Mr. WilHam- |l Tennent; to whom I had advifed them to apply, and; I v/hofe houfe they had frequented much.— I preach-,,! ed to them this day on Rev. xxii. 17. " And whofo- i everW'ill, let him take the water of lifefreefy." The Lord enabled me to let before them the Lord> | JehjiS. Chrift as a kind and compaffionate Saviour, in-, j viring diftreffed and perifhing finnersto a-ccept ever? ; lafting mercy. And a furpriling conccrvi foon ap- peared amorig them. There were about twenty adi.If perfons together, (many of the Indians at re*, mote places, not having as yet had time to comefxnce- my return,) and not above twotha:t I could fee with dry eyes. Some difqove red vehement longings after \ Chrift, to favethem fromthemifery they feltandjeared. Lord's day, Auguft 4. Being invited by a n^gh- bouring-minifter to alTifl: in the adminiftration of the^ Lord's fupper, I com.plied with his requeft, and^ tcokthe Indians along with me : not only thofclh^tj -v-^ere together the day. before, but many more that were comiing to hear me; fo that there were neap iifty in alU They attended the f?veral difcourfes of the day.;, fome of them Vvrere much aftetled, and all feemed to- liave their concern raifed. AW a change m their manners began to appe^tf* 3n the evening when they came to fup together, they would not taite a m.orfel till they had fent to me to | come and afk a bieffing on their food; at whiefe^ time fundry of them wept, efpecially when I raind^ ( ) ed. them how thev had in times pafh eattheir feaftt in honour to drills, and neglected to thank God for them. riuguil 5. After a feiTnon had been preached, by another minifter, I preached, and concluded the public work of the folemnity from John vii. 3 7, In mv difcourfe I addreiTed the 'nd ans in particular, who fat bv themfelves in a part of the houfe ; at which timie cnc or :\vo of them were ftruckwith deep corxern. wxio had been little affefted before : others- had their concern increafed. to a conilderable degree. In the evening I difcourfed to thera, and found them univerfaHv engaged, inquiring, " What they fnouid do to be faved And all their <:onvenation among themielves turned upon rdigicus matters, in which taey wer€ much afTifted by my interpreter, v^'ho wa- with them day and night. This day there was one ^\'om-an, that, had been- m.icn concerned ever firice llie heard me preach in- June, who obtained comfort, I trull, folid and well grounclca ; fhe Teemed to be filled with love to Chriih a: I'.ie iVrne time fhe behaved humbly and tenderly, ^ and ::npcared afraid of nothing (b much as of grieving, hnn whom her foul loved, . Av.x^iit l\ In -the morning I difcourfecl to the .In- dians c.r i"ie houfe where we lodged : many of-^them vc-.e '::en much afieited. fo that a fdv/;w-ords about t:n: . n> v/ou"Jd caufe ti^e tears, to flow freely, and pr: ■ .any lobs and groans,-^ — — I:, >-:,e]noon-,.vtliey-.being ritjrneci to the place^ xs-itre 1 nave ufij^ally preached among them, I again to* .them tnere. 7'here were about nfty- fi\ c cr_:n: in all. about forty that were capable of- iitrcn cnvine iervice with underftanaing : J in->. nnc I u: -jn 1 John iv. lo. Herein is 1ovavV&c«: Thev lienied eager of hearing; but there-ap-p.sar.ed .. ncnnno; very remark?.ble. till near tlie clc^^e otmy:, difcourle : and then divine trut]ish were attendecl- v. ith a lurprihng inflaence, ThercAV^s icajce three^ mj'j-it, rh :n c i J ri ':u ^.n froni tears and bi-tter crie?. T h. cy c... . : . n : d in an agony .of Ibul to ob- tsiiii an Intersil m C-irin:: and the. more I diloinbd^ ( 114 ) of the love and compafTion of God in fending his Son I to futfer for the fms of men ; and, the more 1 invited i them to come and partake of his love, the more their j diftrefs was aggravated. | It was furprifing to fee how their hearts were pierc- \ ed with the tender invitations of the gofpel, when ; there was not a word of terror fpoken to them. j There were this day two perfons that obtained ; comfort, which (when I came to difcourfe with them) appeared folid, rational, and fcriptural. After I had ; inquired into the grounds of their comfort, I afked | what they wanted God to do further for them? They ' replied, They wanted Chrifl fhould wipe their ' hearts quite clean." Auguft 7. I preached to the Indians from Ifa. | liii. 3. 10. There was a remarkable influence attending tlie word. Moft were much afteded, and many in great difhrefs • and fome could neither ga r^or (land, but lay flat on the ground, as if pierced at heart, crying incelTantly for mercy : feveral were Txcwly awakened, and it was remarkable, that as faft I as they came from remote places round about, the Spirit of God feemed to feize them, [ A>fter public fervice I found two perfons more that 1 had newly met with comfort, of whom I had good hi hopes; and a third that I could not but entertaiir ij fome hopes of, fo that here were now fix in all that i i had got fome relief from their fpiritual diflrefles, and i] five whofe experience appeared clear and fatisfaftory. U Auguft 8. In the afternoon J preached to the In- | i diansj their number was now about fixty-five per-^ lh fons, menj women, and children. I difcourfed from j Luke xiv. 16. — 23. and was favoured with uncommon \ freedom. | There was much concern among them while I was !;| difcourfmg publicly ; but afterwards, when I fpoke oj \o one and another more particularly^ whom I per-^ - j ceived under concern, the power of God feem.ed ta i defcend upon the afTembly " like a rufhing mighty ' ! wiad/' and with an aftonifhing energy bore down I all before it, i j ( ) P -I ftood amazed at the influence that feized the au-. dience almofi: univerlally, and could compare it to nothing more aptly than a mighty torrent, that bears down and fweeps before it whatever is in its v/ay, • A-lmoft all perfons of all ages were bowed down t :- I jether, ancf fcarce one was able to withiiand the 'hock of this furprifmg operation. Old m.en andv/j- « nen. who had been dmnken wretches for many ; /ears, and fome little children, not more than fix or : !even years of age, appeared in diftrefs for their fouls,^ - IS well as perfons of middle age. And it was apoa- •ent thefe children were not merdy frighted with i eeing the general concern ; but were made fenfible- )f their danger, the badnefs of their hearts, and" • iheir mifery Vvdthout Chrifi. The mo^i ftubboni ; icarts were now obliged to bow, A principal man mong the Indians, who before thought his ftate cod. becaufe he knew more than the generality of he Indians, and who with great confidence the day : leforc, told me, " he had been a Chriftian more than : sn years/' was now brought under folemn concern i or his foul, and wept bitterly. Another man conh- .erable in years, wlio had been a murderer^ a pozv- ■czj, and a notorious drunkard, was likewife brought ow to ciy for mercy with many tears, and to corn- lain much that he could be no m^ore unconcerned rhen he faw his danger fo great. 1 They were almoft universally praying and crying .-. Dr mercy in every part of the houfe. and many out :.' f doors, and numbers could neither go nor (land : :«■ leir concern was fo great, each for himfelf. that n one feemed to take any notice of thofe about them, T 'ut each prayed for themfelves; and w^ere, to tlieir wn apprehenfion, as much retired as if every one :j ad been by himfelf in a deiert, or, rather, they lought nothing about any but themfelves, and fa ::■ i-erc ev^sry one praying apart, although all togHhir, :> ■ It feem.edtome there was now an exaft fulfilment • if that prophecy, Zech. xi^ lo, ii, 12. ford.ere was >j Dw " a great mourning, like the mourning of Ha- idrirruiion^"— andeach feemsdto " jnourn apart. 1 ^ ' Me' ii6 ) Methought this had a near refernblance to the day of God's power, mentioned Jofli. x. 14, for I muft fay, I never faw any day like it in all refpefts ; it was a day wherein the Lord did much deftroy the kingdom of darknefs among this people. • p This concern was moft rational and juft;thofe who I had been awakened any conhderable time, corne l! plained efpecially of the badnefsof their hearts j tholc| newly awakened, of the badnefs of their lives and^^ anions; and all were afraid of the anger of God, and of everiafting mhfery as the defert of their fins. Some of the zohite people, who came out of curio-< fity to " hear what this babbler would fay" to the poor ignorant Indians, were much awakened, and appeared to be wounded .with a view.of their perifh-j|| ing ftate, , % Thofe who had lately obtained relief, were filled'ji. with comfort ; they appeared calm and rejoiced in| Chrift Jelus ; and fbme of them took their diftre{Ied|| friends by the hand, telling them of the goodnefs ol Chrift. and the comfort that is to be enjoyed, in him and invited them to come aad give up. their heart to him. And I could obferve feme of them, in the moft unaffefted manner, lifting up their eyes heaven, as if crying for mercy, Mobile- they, faw thf diftrefs of the poor fouls around them. There Vvas one remarkable inftance this day, thai I cannot but take particular notice of.,; A young In dian v;oman, .v/ho, i believe, never - knew befoi;; fhe had foul, hearing that there was fomethin^ ftrange among the Indians, came (it feems) to fe« what vvas the matter. , I had not proceeded:, far in m^ difcourfc, before fhe efft dually thatftie had a foul and before I had concluded, was fo convinced of he fin and mifery, and fo diftrelled v/ith concern for he foul, that file feemed like one pierced through witl a dart, and criei7- y ?hearkened to hear what fhe faid, and pereeived< lie burden of her prayer to be, Gidtummaidalumymh- mhauTfieh hnelch Ndah, i. e. Have mercy on me, nd help me. to give you my heart." And thus fhe oritinued praying inceiTantly for rfiany hours. Auguft 9. I fpent almoft the ^vhole day with the ndikns, the former part- of it in difcourftng with hem privately, efpecially fome who lately received omfort, and endeavouring to inquire into the jOrands of it, as v/ell as to give them fome proper iftru6bions, cautions, and dire£lions. In the afternoon I difcourfed lo them puhlickly. There were now prefent about feventy perfons. I opened and applied the parable of the fower, and v^as enabled to difcourfe with much plainnefs. There ?ere many tears among them while I was difcour- iflg, but no coniiderable cry : yet fome were much fibfted with a few words fpoken from Matth. xi^ .85.. with which I concluded. But w^hile I was dif- ourfmg near night to tv/o or three of the awakened rerfons, a divine influence feemed to attend what vas fpoken, which caufed the perfons to cry out in figuifh of foul, although I fpake not a word of ter- dr; but, on the contrary, fet before them, the ful- fefs of Chriif '3 merits, and his willingnefs to fave all hat came to him. The cry of thefe was heardby others, vvho, though Mattered before, immediately gathered round. I. ken proceeded in the fame ftrain orgofpel-invitation, ■11 they v/ere all melted into tears and cries, except tvo or three ; and feemed- in the greateft dliirefs to nd and fecure an intereft in the great Redeemer. — Tome who had but little more than a ru/fli made in heir pajioiis the day before, feemed now to be deep- afiPefted : and. the concern in general appeared ear as prevalent as the day before. There was in- eed.a veiy gtedt Tmurning among them, and yet very one feemed to mourn apmt. For fo great wai3 ieir concern, that almoft eveiy one was praying crying for himfelf^ as if none had been near. ( i'8 ) GuHummaiikalummeh, gutturdmatLkalummeh, 'i. e. HavJ mercy upon me, have mercy upon me was the common cry. It was very affe6ling to fee the poor- Indians, who the other day were yelling in their idolatrous feafts,i now crying to God.wirh fucli importunity, for an intereft in his dear Son ! I found two or three who I hope had taken com- fort upon good grounds fmce the evening before :| and thefe,, with others that. had obtaine' upwards of feventy, and one or two were newly u'akened this day, who never appeared to be mov- i before, Thofe that had obtained comfort, and had given .•idences of a faving <:hange, appeared humble id devout, and behaved in an agreeable and Chrif- an manner. I was refrefhed to fee the tendernefs ■^confcience manifeft in fome of them. Perceiving le of them very forowful in fne morning. I en(^uired to the caufe of her forrow, and found fhe had :en angry with her child the evening before, and in fear left her anger had been inordinate, whicii grieved her, that fhe waked and began to fob be- le d.-y-light, and continued ^\^eepmg for feveral ;'jri together. Auguft 14. r fpent -the day wi^h the Indians, :ere was one of them who had fome time fm-ce It away his wife, (as is com.mon among them) and xcn anorlier woman, and beirig now brought un- • r lome ferious impreihons, v/as earneitly dehrous i know vv'hat God would have him do. When the ( 120 ■) -the law of God refpefting marriage had been opentl j them, and the caufe of his leaving his wife e;;i -quired into; and when it appeared fhe had give ] him nojufl oeeafion by unchajtity to defert her, ar j that fne* was wiUing to forgive his paft iriifcondu^j he was then told, that it was his indifpenfible du' to renounce the woman had -laft taken, an( ceive the other who was his proper wife ; wii which he chearfully corDplied, and thereupon pu -licly renounced the woman he had laft taken, ar piiblicly promiied to live with his wife during \ii ^T^T^— And here ap a clear dcmonftration oft) ^.Qwer of God's word upon their hearts. A fe HveeVs before the whole v/orld could not have pe' i'fuAdedhim to a compliance with Chriftian rules this affair. Augufl:i5, I preachedfrom Luke ivo 16. v. j The word was attended with power upon the hea of the hearers. There was much concern, maij ^ tears, and affefting cries among them, and fome we; deeply wounded and didrefled. There were for' newly awakened who came but this week, and cc visions feemed to be promoted in others. — ThC / that had received -comfort, were like wifs refrefh I' and ftrengthened, and the v/ork of grace appear to advance in all refpecls. Auguft 16, I fpent a confiderahle time in QQ verhng privately with fundry of the Indians. I foui one that had got comfort, after preffing concern, a -could not but hope^ when I difcourfed with her, i\ her comfort was of the right kind. In the afternoon I preached to themfrom John, 26. — 34. Toward the -clofe of my difcourfe, divi truths were attended with coniiderable power up ' the audience, and more efpecially ai>er public ferv:| was over, when I particularly addreiled the diftii led peifonso ' _ If There was a great concern for their fouls fpr* .generally among them : but efpecially there w • tv/o peifons newly awakened to a fenfe of their and mifery, one of whom was lately come, and (1 ( 121 ) V other had all along been very attentive, and defirous of being awakened, but could never before have ^nv livclv viev/ of her perifhing ftate. But now her fpiritual diftrefs was fuch, that I had never feen any niore prelTmg. Sundry eld men vrcre alfo in diftrefs for their fouls : fo that they could not refrain from ^^•ccping and crying out aloud, and their bitter groans vrcrc the mod convincing, as well as affetling evi- dence of tlie depth of their inward anguifh. — God i- DOwerfuUv at work among them i True and ge- n I'ine convictions of hn are daily promoted in many i!.:tanccs. and feme are newl)- awakened from time TO rime. Auo-uft 17. I foent much time in private confe- -ices with the Indians. I found one who had : i ;\vlv obtained comfort, after a long leafoii of fpi- r;tual diftrefs, (he having been one of my hearers in 1 Forks of Dclaw^are for more than a year, and now followed me hither under deep concern : and I had ; - mdant reafon to Jiope that his comfort was well _^:ounded. Monda) . Auguft 19. I rode to Freehold, and preached to a confiderable aifembly, frsm Matth. v. 3. Jtpleafed God to leave me dry and banen ; but he has made my foul acquiefce in his Vvill. It is con- trary to Jlefi and blooct, to be cut off from all freedom, in a large auditory, where their expectations are much railed : but fo it was with me ; and God help- ed me to fay ; '* Good, is the will of the Lord." Friday, Auguft 23. I fpent fome time Vv'ith the Indians in private difccurfe: afterwards preached to them from Jolin vi. 44. — 50. There was, as has been ufual. a great attention and fome aifetfion among them. Several appeared deeply concerned for their fouls, and could not but exprefs their in- v/ard ancruifn by tears and cries. But the amazincr inP-uence that has been fo powerfully among them, feemxS. at prefent, in fome degree abated. Auguft 24. I fpent the forenoon in difcourftng to fome of the Indians, in order to their receiving the ordinance of baptifrd. When I had opened the . nature of the ordinance, the obligations attending it, L the ( 122 ) ihe duty of devoting ourfe7y Ivduim I'Qvtr addreffed. ^ Afterwards I h'&'^nztd. tzoerity-Jive pcrfons of the In-- dians, fifteen adults,, anditen children, Moft of the adults I have reliron. to hope are renewed perfons : Only the cafe of two or three appeared more doubt- Afier the croud of fpectators.v/as gone, I called the baptized perfons together, and difcourfed to them in particular, minded them of the folemn obligations they were now under to live to God, and encourag- .cd ( ) ed them to watcliFulnefs ami devotion, by fetting'bd- fore them the j^j?7i/cir.^a.nd happy cmclufion of a religious life. — This was a fwe-et feafon indeed ! Their hearts were engaged and chearfal - in duty, and they re- joiced that they had in a public -and foleimn manner dedicated thcrafelves to G(xlj-— Love Teemed fo- reign among them I They took- each other by the hand with l-enderncf^ and alfetlion^ as if their hearts .were knit tosfcrhcr, v/!>iic I was diicouriinp, to them : *ind all their deportm.eat towards each other was fuch, ihdit z.fmous fpeclat'jr^mi^nX juftly be excited to cry out with admiration, Behold -how they love one another! '. Sundry of the other Indian-s at fee- ing and hearing thefe- things,^ v/ere much aflecled and wept bi4terly^ lon^ging to be partakers of ihs lame: joy and comfort that thefe difcovered by their countenances as v/ell as-conduft, Monday, Augu ft 26. 1 preached to my people from John vi, 51—55. After I had difcouifed iome timCj I addreffed thofe in particular who entertained hopes that they v/ere paffed from death to life.'' I "opened to them the nature of thofe confolations Chriit gives his people, fhewed them that fuch have already che beginnings of eternal life," (ver. 54.) .and that ih^h heaven fiiall be fpeedily completed. I no fooner began to difcourfe, but the Chnfians in the congregation began to be melted with afPec- tion to, and defire of the enjoyment of Chrift, and of a ftate of perfed purity. They wept afPeftionately and yet joyfully, and their tears and fobs difcovered brokennefs of heart, and yet were attended with com- .fort ^ndfweetnefs fo that this was a tender, aifeaio- nate, humble, delightful melting, and appeared to' be the genuine effea of the Spirit of adoption, and very far from the Spirit of bondage that they before laboured under. The influence fpread from thefe through the whole affembly, and there quickly ap- peared a wonderful concern among them. Many who had not yet found Ghrift, were furprifmgly en» jgaged in feeking after him. Their number was.' Jiow about ninety-five perfons, and almo.ft ail af--^ L 2 fe6le4 ( ) fecled either with joy in Chrift, or with the uimoJi\ conarn to obtain an intereft in him. Being convinced it was now my duty to take a' journey far back to the Indians on Sufquahannahi river, after having fpent fome hours in public and private difcourfcs with my people, I told them that J muft leave them for the prefent, and go to theii brethren far remote, and preach to them ; that I wanted the Spirit of God fliould go with me,, without whom nothing could be done to any goodpurpofe, as they themfelves had had opportunity to fee : and alked u them, if they would notfpend the remainder of the: day in prayer for me, that God would go wath mCjl and fucceed my endeavours. They chearfuUy com- plied with the motion, and foon after 1 left thenj (the fun being then about an hour and half high) tl ey began, and contined praying all night 'XiWbreak ff'day, jiever iBiftruiling (they tell m^) 'till they wentj oiit and faw the mornivg-jlar a confidcrable height,! that it v/as later than common bed-time. T, ' Wcdnefilay-, Septcm!)er 4'. I rode 15 miles to a'l IxiQn iettlement, and preached, there from Luke xiv. 122, " And yet there is room.'"'- God was ])lcartd to afford me iomo tcndcrncis and erilargcmcnt in tho \r{\ prayer,. and m:ich freed mi. as well as w_n-ni:li, in fermon. There werC' niany. tears- m the- a'dembly z :hc people of, God leemcd to melt, and others to be r2i b Xl)me meafivc. aw.ikcncd. Blcacd be the Lord, ijat Icis me.fceliis work going on in one place and mother, . "September 5. I difcourfed to" the Indians- from the :ei jarable of the f.)wer, and aft-t-rwards ro:ivcr{ed Dir- w icularly with fundry pcrfon], v-/h ich -ot c;!; t-3n-::d k bem to weep, and even to - cry out in an a{Fc£tin'-.T' « panner, and fcized cAhcrs with fuvprir-c and con.' iM 'K?rn. Several of ihcfc had b-een with me to CioC' Ffil Fee-kfung, and fome of them, fcit the nower oF tror^: j ■^■ork. I afked one of them 3j/hy h- now cried ? L-e- ItepUed, " When he thouglu hov/ Chuilt was Oai,^ I L3 ui.:,^ ( -^^^ ) like a iamb, and fpilc his blood for fmnerSj he could not help crying :" and thereupon burfts out into, tears ?ai4 cJ"ies again. I then afked his wife, who likewife had been abundantly comforted, wherefore fhc cried ? She anfwered, '' She was grieved that the Indians here wouJd not come to Chrift, as well as. thofe at Crofv/eekfung. I alked her if fiie found a. lieart to pray for them, and whether Chrifl had been near to her of late in prayer, as in time paft ? (which is my ufual method of exprefhng a fenfe oF the divine prefencc.) She rephed, " Yes, he had been near to her; and that at fome times when flie lij had been praying alone, her heart Loved to pray foj. U that fhe could not bear to leave the plaee,^ but wanted, to ftay and pray longer." Lord's day, September 8. I difeourfed to the In- dians in the forenoon from John xii, 44. 50. in the afternoon from Aftsii. 36 — -39. The word of God feemed to fall with weight and influence Upon them. There were but few prefent, but moft that were^ were in tears, and fundry cried out under diftrefling concern for their fouls. There was one man awakened, who never before difcovered any concern for his foul. There ap- peared a remarkable v>?ork of the Spirit among them,., almoft generally^ not unlike what has been of late at Crofwcekfung., It feemed as if the divine influ- ence had fpread from thence to thisplace». Sundry of the carelefs white people now prefent^ i were ftartled, feeing the power of God fo prevalent among the Indians. I then made a particular ad- drefs to them, which feemed to make ibme impref? iion upon them. In the evening God was pleafed to enlarge me in? prayer, and give me freedom at the throne of grace 'J^ 1 cried to God for the enlargement of his kingdom ini the world, and particularly among my dear people: and was enabled to pray for many dear miniftersi of my acquaintance, both in thefe parts and in Nev«-j England. And my foul was fo engaged in that fweefc sxercifej that I knew not how to leave the merc)^ feat. ( ) feat. I faw, God was both able and willing to da ill that 1 delired, for myfelf and friends, and his :.hurch in general. And afterwards, when I was uft going to bed. God helped me to renew my pe- itions with ardency and freedom, : Monday, September 9,. I left the Indians in the forks of Delaware, and let out on a journey towards yi;fquahannah-rivcr, direfting my courle towards the [ndian-town more than an hundred and twenty miles Areftward from the Forks, September 13, After having lodged out three^ lights, 1 arrived at the Indian-town I aimed at on iufquahaynah, called Shaumoking, (one of the places I vihted in May laft,) and was kindly receiv- ed by the Indians : but had little fatisfaftion by rea- jon of the Heathenifh dance they then held in the loufe where I was obliged to lodge^ which I could aot fupprefs, though I often intreated them to defift, Sor the fake of one of their own friends who was fick 'm the houfe. This town lies partly on the eaft fide of the river^ partly on the weft, and partly on a large ifland in it, iiid contains upwards of fifty hcufes, and (they tell Tie) near three hundred perfons : but of three dif-= :erent tribes of Indians, fpeaking three languages ivhoUy uninieiligiblc to each other. About one half of is inhabitants are Delawares, the others called Se- nakas, and Tutelas. The Indians of this place are SOunted the moft drunken, mifchicvous, and rufiian- ^feltozos of any in thefe parts ; and Satan feems to have his feat in this tozun in an eminent manner. Saturday, September 14, I vifited the Delaware king, (who was fuppofed to be at the point of death when 1 was here in May laft, but was now recover- fed,) and difcourfed with him and others refpefting Chriftianity, and fpentthe afternoon with them, and had more encouragement than I expe£fed. Tht king appeared kindly difpofed, and willing to be inftruft- ed ; this gave me fbme encouragement that God w^ould open an effeBud door for my preaching the gof- pel here. This was a refiefhnientto Jneinthewil- ^ dernelsj dernefs, and rcvxhred my fjlii-ary circumilanoes colilf In the evening. my foul was .'enlarged in prayer! efpccially, that God woiildfet up his. kingdom in thil .ph'.ce,, where- the dcul now reigns,. My foul criecj! Lord, fet up thy kingdom, for thine own glor)! ^ Glorify thyfelf; and 1 ihall rejoice. Get honour t(l thy WeiTcd ..name.- and this, is all I defiie. Do witji f me j ift what thou- v/ilt. . Bleifed be thy name fo' 'P? ever, that thou art. God, and that thou wilt glorifl thyfelf. O that the. whole world might glorify theelj O let thefe poor people be brought to know thee, and love thee, for the glory of thy ever-bleffed name!"' Lord's day. September 15. 1 vifiled the c/uc/o H the Delawares, again ; and difcourled to the IndianJ ® in the afternoon, 1 fliU hoped that God Avould oper 'Pi their hearts to receive the gofpel, though many oj ^ them in the place v/ere. fo drunk, from day to dayj that I could get no opportunity to fpeak to them. ! F' September. 16. 1 fpent the forenoon with the In-|i ''J^' diansj endeavouring to infl;ru6t them from houfe tolj ™ boud.!;, and to engage them, to be friendly .to Chrif.:| tianify,, .. ' j Towards night I went t© a. part of the tovvn- wherel they were Jbkr, and got together near fifty pcrfons of them. — There was a furpriling attention among them^ " and they manifefted a clcfire of being fqrthe^r inilruft-. ed. TherewasaliooneOi twothatfcemedtobetouchedj. who appeared pieafed with lome converfaton in pri-. I vate, after Thad concluded my public difcourfc. . My fpirits- were, much refr^fiied, and l could not ' "2 but return with my interpreter (having no othtr covi^\ panion in this journt.y ), to niy poor hard lodgings, re-^j joLcjng in hopes that God deligned to fet up his king- J dom here, aiid found uncommon freedom in addref-j fing the throne of grace for the accomplifliment o^. fo glorious a work. Ji September 17. I fpent the forx^ncon in difcour^)|, '1 fing to the Indians. .About noon 1 left ^ilaumokin■g,^j' \ (ixiofl. of the Indians going out this day to hunt,) and., .travelled down the -xivcr fouth-w^eflward, September.,- ( ) September ^9. I vifited^ an Indian town called Jup.cauta, fituate on an ifland in Sufqualiannah. I was much diicouyaged with the behaviour of the In- dians here, akhough they appeared friendly when I was \vith thcra laft fpring ; yet they now feemed re- folved to retain their Pagan notions, and perlift in their idolatrous prattices. September 20. I viiited the Indians again a.tju- ncuuta illand. and found them bufy in making pre- pr.rations for a great_y?7C7-z^;k6' and (3'(^7?r(?. So I had r.o oppoitunitv to get llicm together in order to difcourfe wiih them about Chrifdanity. My fpirits ^vere much Tank, efpeciaily feeing I had now no interpreter but a Pagan, whoAs'as as much attached to idolatry as any of them ; fo that I ^vas under the greateft. difadvan- tagcs imaginable. However, I attempted to dif- courfe privately with fome of them, but without any •appearance of fuccefs. In the evening they met together, near a hundred of them, and dan ce-d round a large fire, having pre- pared ten fat deer for the Jhcrifice. The fat of Vv'hofe Inwards they burnt in the fire while they were dan- cing, and fometimes raifed the flame to a prodigious height, at the fame time yelling and fliouting in fuch a manner, that they might have been heard two miles or more. They continued their /acred dance all night; after which they eat the ^-ff/^^ of the Jacrtjice, and retired each to his lodging. I enjoyed little fatisfaftion this night, being entire- ly alone on the ifland. (as to any Chriftian company,) and hi the midft of this lA-olatrous revel; and having walked to and fro "till boay and mind were much oppreffed, I at length crept into a little crib made for corn, and there flept on the poles. Lord's day, September 21. i fpent the day with the Indians on the ifland. As foon as they were up in the morning, I attempted to inftruft them, and laboured to get them together, but quickly found they had fomething elfe to do ; for they gathered to- gether all their^ozt'Zi'OZi.'i, (or conjurers,) and fet about Itll ikni isoi ( ) lialf a dozen of them to playing their tricks, and a6ti:j or conjurirj c-cr ■ c-fick. fee::; lcnic-..-hr.i ci^~c:-.-.:.i from tha' . -i' idians: a::a t/ie "sTLcle o: it perhaps is an :..:-;^.::.:i "what feeniS; bv Xaaman's e>::premQn, 2 Kings v» 1. to liavc been ibe cv, r:oni c^^he ancient Heathens, it fee:;:; b:._^ " :i! : . :." in their " flrikihg eir hands over the diiea.:ec/' repeatedly fhroking ' them. and calling upon fheir o-Qds,'"' excepting, e ipufting c-f water, and lome other frantic cerc- onies common 10 :r.c oihsv coJtjiii-aiioiis^ When l-wa3 in thefe parts in May laft. I had. an. tpGrtanit\' of learning .many of the cultoms of the- dians : I then travelling mote than an hundred d thirty n:ile3 upon the rivei* above the Englifh tlenients ; and had in tliat journey a view of per- is of /rjt:>i -or cf^^^t diftlnft' tribes., ipeaking fo many terent languages. But of all the fights i ever faw long them, none appeared fo near a-kin to what ufaaily imagined of irifern^l poz'-icrs }. as the appear- - ce of one vv'ho was a devout and zealous reform.er, i"ather refhorer. of what he luppofed was the — cient religion of the Indians, He made his ap- irance in his pOEtif.cal. garb, which was a- ceat of r j\iy;. dreffed with tire hair on. and hanoing; H'n to his toeS; a pair of bear-fkin dockings, and a ■ at zcDoden face, painted the one half black and the ■ iertav,-n\'. about rhe colour of an Indian's fkin, th an c:-::ravagant mo jth. cut veiv much awry : -.' ; face :...:ened to a bear-fKin cap, which was' '-\r:. -r i::^ head. He advanced tov^'^rd me h the iniirument in his hand that he ufed for ' ii€ in his idolatTcv.s u-crjhip which was a diy tortoifi- v'it:: ' : ::. and the neck of it drawn on lece c: - ::c-- ma:le a very convenient han- . A: h : : . . ; beat his tune with an.. .:...;.: J,. his might, hu^ did ■■ fairer any part of his body, not fo in his' ^eis. to na ieen : and no :::a:i wonla .icvc ._:.ci- ^ i byh'h a; ;c..:.ncc. f....: ho could have been' a " human ( 132 ) human creature. When he came near mc, I coul not but flirink away from him, ahhough it was the noon day, and I knew who it was, his appearance an gcftures w^ere fo frightful. He had a houfe coi fecrated to religious ufes, with chvers images ci out upon the levcral parrs of i-t ; I went in an found the ground beat ahnoft as hard as a rock wit their frequent dancing. — I difcourfed with hi about Chriftianity, and fome of my difcourfe } feemed to like, but fome of it he dihiked entire! He told me that God had taught him his religioi and that he never would turn from it, but want€ to find fome that would join hcaitily with him in i for the Indians, he faid, were grov/n very degen rate. He had thoughts, he faid, of leaving ail h friends, and. travelling abroad, in order to hnd foil that would join with him ; for he believed God hi fome good people fome where, that felt as he di He had not always, he faid, felt as he now did, b h^d formerfy been like the reft of the Indians, unl about four or five years ago: then, he faid, his heart w very much diPcrelTed, fo that he could not live amoi the Indians, but got av»/ay into the woods, and liv( alone for fome months. At length, he fays, G( fliewed him what he fliould do ; and iince that 4:in he had known God, and tried to ferve him ; ai loved all men, be they who they would, fo as 1 never did before." — -He treated me with uncomm( courtefy, and feemed to be hearty in it.' And jyas told by the Indians, that he oppofcd their drin ing flrong liquor with all his power ; and if at ai tune he could not diffuade them from, it, he wou leave tlTcm, and go cjying into the woods. Xvas manifeft he had a let of religious notid that he had looked m\ofo?' himfelj\ and not taken 1 gi anted upon bare tradition ; and he relifhed or dr relifhed whatever was fpoken of a religious natu according as it either agreed or difagreed with 1 his Jlandard. And while I was difcourfmg he woij fometim.es fay, ^' Now that I like ; fo God has taug ^ mx." And fome of his lentiments feemed very ju 10 (-1 ( ^33 } Yet he utterly denied the being of a devil, and de- clared there was no fuch a creature known among the Indians of old times. He likewife told me, that departed fouls ail went fouthward, and that the dif- ference between the good and bad v/as this, that the /i?rf7Z€r were admitted into a beautiful town with^i- ritual walls, or walls agreeable to the nature of fouls ; and that ihc latter would forever hover round thofe walls, and in vain attempt to get m. He feemed to tbe fnicere, honeft, and confcientious in his own zvay, which was more than I ever faw in any other Pagan ; and I perceived he was looked upon, and derided ' amongft moft of the Indians as a. prtci/e zealot. I muft fay, there Vv^as fomething in his temper that looked nore like true religion than any thing I ever obferv- id among other Heathens. September 22, I made fome further attempts to ■nftruft th-e Indians on this iiland, but all to no pur- )ofe. They live fo near the white people, that they ire always in the wa)'- of ftrong liauor, as well as the 11 examples of yioniinalChA-i^LidiVxi, : v/hich renders it mfpeakably difkcult to treat with them about Chrif- ianity. [On Monday, September 23. He left the Indians, 1 order to his return to the Forks of Delaware, in a :;ery weak ftateof body, and under dejeftion of mind^ hich continued the two firfi: days of his journey, j Thurfday, September 26.' I was ilill much dif- deredin body, and able to ride but Howly, I con- nued my journey however. Near night, I arrived I the Irifii fettlement, about fifteen miles from mine wn houfe. This day, I was much exercifed with a nfe of my barrennefs : and verily thought, there |as no creature ihat Irad any 'true grace, but wliat is more, fpiritual and iruiiful than I : I could not unk that any of God's children mads =fo poor a hand diving to God as I. M -Forh ( ^34 ) Forks of Delaware. Oftober i. I difcourfed to the Indians here, aad afterwards invited them to accompany, or if not, to follow me down to Crofweekfung as foon as their* conveniency would admit; which invitation fundry- of them chearfuUy accepted. Saturday, Oftober 5. I preached to- my people at Crofweekiung, from John xiv. 1—^6.' The divine | prefence I'eemed to be in the a&mbly. Numbers were affefted, and Tome comforted. 0 what a difference is there between thefe and the Indians upon Suff|uahannah ! To be with thofe (QQiXi- ed like being baniihed from God, and all his people; to be with thefe like being admitted into his family, and to the enjoyment of his prefeaGe ! Hov/ great is the change lately made upon thefe Indians, who -not many months ago were as thoughtlefs, and avcrfe-to Chnftianity, as thofe upon Sufguahannali ! Lord's day, Oftober 6^ I .preached in th-e fore- noon from John x.- y-— ii o ^ There was a confidera- ble melting among my people j the young Ghriftians were comforted and ftrengthened, and-one or tv/o perfons newly awakened. In the afternoon I difcourfed on the ftory of the jailor, A£^s xvi. and in the evening expounded 'A£b ^{X. 1-^12. There was at this time a; melting through the whole affembly* There was' fcarce a dry eye to be feen among them,- aild- nothing but what tended to encourage and excite a Chriftian ar- dour and fpirit of devotion. After public fervice I withdrew^ and the Indians continued praying among themfelves for near two hours together; which exercifes appeared to be at- tended with ablelted influence from on high. 1 could not but earneftly wiih that numbers -of God's people bad been prefent at this feafon, to fee and hear thefe things which I am fure mufl refrefh the heart, of every true lover of Zion. To fee thofe, who very lately were fatage Pagans and idolaters, *' having no hope, and without God in theworld,"| now! ( '35 ) r.T?'tV filled with a fcnfe of divir!? love and grace, and worrhipping the Father in ipirit and in truth." wiis not a little afFeaing ; and efpecially to fee them ib tender and humble, as well as livelv-, fervent, and devout. Mondav, Gclober 7. Being called by the church and people of Eaft-Hampton on Long-Ifland,- as a rn.embcr of a counciL to aihft and advife in affairs of dif?k-uhy in tiiat church, I fet out on my journey thi-^ -r.ornins- before it was well lightj and travelled JO hUIabcth^own. \iic profecuted his lourney with the other mln:^- ters that were lent fuj : :inu aid not return till Oc-. ■ October 24c I (hi-courled fri^n J"^^^"^ ^o ""^ • There v/as a grer.t attention, and an unaffecled niel:- ing in the aflembly. —It 15 furpnhng to fee how eager they are of hearing' the word of God. I have often thought they would chearfully aticnd divine worihip twenty-four hours together. October 25. I difcourfed to my people on the refurrcUion from Luke xx. 27 — 36. And when I 4:a:ne to mention the biehednefs the good fhaii en- joy 2t that feafon : tlieir final freedom from, death, andforrow ; their equality to the anyelsin regard of iheir nearneis to. and enjoyment of Chrift; and their being the childrea of God. openly acknowledged .by him as fiiai; I fay, ^vhen I mentioned thefe things, num.bers of them were much alrecled, and melted with a view of this bleiled fbate. l y October 26. Being called to afiift in the admir.if- tration of the Lord's lupper. in a neighbouring con- gregation. I invited my people to go with me, who embraced the opportunity chearfully. and attended 4he difcourfes of that folemnity with diligence and- affeclion, moft of them now underftanding fome- , thing of the Englifh language. Lord's day, Oftober 27. While I was preaching 'to a vaft affembly of people abroad, who appeared generally eafy and fecure enough, there was one In- fiian woman, a ftranger, who never.heard me preach M. 3 before: ( '36 ) before, nor eve r regarded any thing about religion (being now perfuaded. by Come of her friends to come though much againft her willj) was feized with ai preffing concern for her foul, and foon after expref- fecl a great defire of going, home, (more than forty miles diftant,) to call her hufband, that he alfo might have a concern for his foul. Some other of the In- dians alfo appeared to be affe£led with divine truths this day. llie pious people of the Englifh (numbers o vvhom 1 had opportunity to convcrfe with) feeme4 refreihcd wlili feeing the Indians worlhip God in that devout and folemn matmer, and could not but glorify God, faying, Then hath God alfo to the Gentiles granted repentance unto life." 06tober 28. I difcourfed from Matth. xxii. 1 — - 13. I v/as f-nabled to adapt my difcourfe to the ca- pacities of my people, ^' I know not how," in a plain, eafy, and. familiar manner, beyond all that I could have done by the utmoft ftudy : and this, with as much freedom, as if I hadbeenaddreffinga common audience, who had been inftrufted in Chrirdanity "all their days. The word of God at this time fcemed to fall upon the affembly with a divine power, efpecially toward the clofe of my difcourfe : there was both a fweet melting and bitter mourning in the audience. — The Chrlflians were refrefhed and comforted, convic tions revived in others, and fundry perfons nev/ly awakened who had never been with us before; and fo much of the divine prefence appeared in the af- fem.bly, that it feemed, this was no other than the gate of heaven." Ail that had any relifl-iof divine things v;ere even conftrained to fa^^, " Lord, it is good for^ us to be here !" jf ever there was among my people an appearance of the New jerufalem " as a bride adorned for her hufband," there was at ^this time And fo agreeable was the enteitainment, that I could fcarce tell how to leave the place. ' Lord's day, November 23. I hdn^tizcS. fourteen In diaps. Tlx adults and eisht children ; one oF thele ( ^37 ) was near f(jyyf:'jri yesvs of age, and I ha.ve reafon to "hope God ii?b brought her home to hirnfolf ; two of the otliers were men o\ fjty years old, who had been ■fingular, even among the Indian^, for fiieir v.hcked~ nefb ; one of them had been a viurdtrcr^ and both no- torious drunkards, as v/di as excelTive quarreifome-; but now I cannot but hope both are really changed, 'I deferred their babtifm for many weeks. , that I might ha\ e more opportunities to obferve the fruits "of thole impi\:ulon> they had been under. Indeed there was not one of the adults but had given me grounds to hope, that God had wrought a good work in their hearts. Nov. 4, There v/ere fjn.lry of the perfons lately come frcm remote places, ihat v/ere r.ov/ brought under deep concern for their fouls ; particularly one, who not long hnce came half drunk, and railed on us. and attcmp:ed 10 difturbe us while engaged ia divine wcrihip. v/as fo diilreued; that fhe fcemed unable to get anv eafe without an intereft in Chriif, There \vere many tears and affectionate groans in the affembly in general, fome weeping for them- -\ lelves, others for their friends. And tho' perfons ire doubtlefs much eafier affefted now, than they vere in the beginning to this religious concern, when ears and cries for their fouls w^ere things unheard of mong them ; yet, their affection in general appeared enuine and unfeigned j and efpeciaily in thofe newly J wakened. t I bapdzed a- child this day. and perceived feveral f the baptized perfons aftected, as being thereby •i linded ot their own folemn engagements, -A I have now baptized in Sill for tj -fete n perfons of le Indians; twenty-three adults, and twenty-four hildren; thirty-five of them belonging to thefe ^rts, and the reft to the forks of Delaware; and ley have none of them as yet been a difgrace to ; leir profeffion by any unbecoming behaviour. ; Before I proceed. I would m.ake a few remarks. J| And ift, It is remarkable that God began this ■ork among the Indians at a tim.e when I had the I M 3 i*'^ i ,) i.-a-t proipe6t of feeing a work of grace among them-.. My bcdiiy ftrengtn being then much wafted by a teciioJis journey^to Sufouabannah, my mind ^ex- ceedingly depreiied v/ith a view of the unfeafonable- nefs of my labours, had little reafon to hope that God had made me inftrumental of the faying con- verfion of any of the Indians, whence I was ready to look upon myfelf as a burden to the fociety that em- ployed me in this bufinefs. I began to entertain fe- rious thoughts of giving up my mijjion ; and almoft refolved I would do fo, at the concluiion of the pre- fent year, if I had then no better profpeft in my work than I had liitherto had. In this frame of mind 1 £rft vifited thefe Indians at Crofweekfung, apprehending it was my duty to make fome attempts for their converfion, though I b cannot fay, I had any hope of fucccfs, my fpirits were now fo extremely funk. And yet this was the very feafon that God faw fil to begin this glerious work in ! And thus he " or- dained ftrength out of weaknefs," by making ban his almighty arm at a tim.e when all hopes and himiai probabilities moft evidently failed. — " Whence I learn that it is good to follow the path of duty, though ir ihe midft of darkneis and dilcouragement." 2dly, It is remarkable how God, in a manner al moft unaccountable^ called thefe Indians together t( be inllrufted; and how he feized their minds witl the moft folemn concern as fall as they came to tin place where his word was preached-. When I Hrf came into thefe parts, I found not one man at th place I vifited, but only Jour women and a fe\ children : but before 1 had been here many days they gathered from all quarters, fome from mor than twenty miles diftant ; and when I made ther afecond vifir, fome came more th^in forty ' miles t[ hear m.e. | And many came without any intelligence of wh« was going on here, and conle^^uently without ani defign, fomuch as to gratify their curiofity ; fo tbii it feemed as if God had fummoned them togethe to ( ^^9 ) from all quarters tor nothing elfe but to deliver his nieffage to them. , ■Nor is it lefs furprifmg that they \rere one after another affefted with a folemn concern for their fouls, almoft as foon as they came upon the fpot where divine truths were taught them. I could not but think, their coming to this place was like Saul and his meffengers comung among the prophets: they no fooner came but they propb.eiir d : and thcfe were al mo ft as foon -affected with a fenfe of their hn and mifery, and with an earneft concern for deliverancCj as they made their appearance in our affembly. — — After this work of grace began Vv^ith power among them, it was common ^or Ji rangers the Indians^ before they had been with us one day, to be deeply convinced of their fm and mifery, and to inquire with great folicitudej ^' What they fhould do to be faved ?" 2>dly, It is likewife remarkable how God preferved thefe poor ignorant Indians from being prejudiced againft me, and the truths I taught them. There V. ere many attempts made by fome of the white peo- ple to prejudice them againft. or fright them from Chriftianiiy. They fometimes told them, the Indi- ans were v/ell enough already : — that there was no need of all this noije about Chriftianity : — that if they were Chriftians, they would be in no better, no fafer, or happier ftate, than they were already in. Sometimes they told them, that I was a knave, a a^^ciiver : that I daily taught them lies, and had no ether defign but to impcfeupon them. And when none of ihefe fuggeftions would avail, they told the Indians, My defign was to gather to- gether as large a body of them as i poflibly could, and then fell them to England for flaves," Nothing could be more likely to terrify the Indians, they being naturally of a jealous diipclition, and the moft a- i verfc to a ftate of fervitude perhaps ef any people -living. But ( MO ) Btit all thefe Infinuations (through divine good nefs) conftantiy turned againil the authors of them and only ferved lo engage the affe6lions of the In. diansmore firmly to : for they could not but ob ferve, that the perfons who endeavoured to imbittei their minds again ft me, were altogether unconcernec about their own fouls, and not only fo, but viciou/ and profane; and then.ce could'not but argue, that H tliey had no coneern for their own^ it w^as not likel) they fhould have for the fouls of others. It feems yet the more wonderful that the Indians were preferved from once hearkening to thefe fug- geftions,. as I was an utter fkanger amoiig them, and could give thcm:.no afl-urance of my fmcere aire6iionj by any thing that vras paft,— while the pej Ions that iniinuated thefe things were their old acquaintance, who had had frequent opportunities of gratifying them with firong drinky and confcquently had the greateft intereft in their affedions. Athly. Nor is it ]eis wondevful how -God was pleaf- ed to provide a isniccl); for my want of ikili in the Indian languai^Cj by remarkably hiring mv u)tcrprc- tcr for, and aiiiiling, him in the pcrmrmance of his work. It might be iuppofcd I muft kibour ulider a. vafk difadvantage in addrdhng the Indians by aix interpreter, and tliat divine truths would unavoidf- ably lofe mucli oi their energy^ by coming to the au- dience from ?i fccond hand. But altiiough this has- often been the caie in limes '] afb, when m.y inter- preter had little fenfc of divine things, yef now it is quite otherwife. I cannot thnik niy addreiles to the Indians ordinarily Imee the beginn-ing of this feafon of grace, have k>ft any thing of the power with? which they were made, unlefs it were fometimes for want of p . rtinent exprelhons in the Indian language* which difficulty couid not have been much redreiTcd by my perfonal acquaintance v/ith it. My interpreter had before gamed fome good degree of dodrinat knowledge, w^hereby he was capable of underftand- ing and communicating t'ne meaning of my clifcourfes, and that without being obliged to interpret word for word { Mi ) 7ord, He had llkewife an fA-_tf/-i??::;2^,^' acquaintance vith divine things ; and it pleafed God at this feafon oinfpire his mind with longing defires for the con= ^erfion of the Indians, ana to give him admirable ;eal and fervency in addrefling them. And it is emarkable, tiiart when I was favoured with any ajjiftancey and enabled to fpei^k with more thr^n ■ j-TiTcon frcidGm, firvc)Ky. d.r\a pozcir, he was ufjallv 'ue.rc^d in the fame manner almoii inftantly, and eimed at once quickened and enabled to fpeak in he f-:nc language, and under ;he fame influ' ncetb.a: i aid. d.j'lirp-rifuiy iiic-- often accom- lanied the ^vord at f.;ch feafons ; fo that the face of he whole aiTembly v/ould be apparently changed Imofl in an inftantj and tears and fobs became com- lon among them. He likev^ife took pains d:.\- and night to repeat d inculcate upon tne minds of the Indians the ruths I taught them d_uiy ; and this net from ipiri- 1 pride, but from a (pint of faithfulnef^, and an on e fc CO n c e rn f c r t hi e i r fc 1 ^ . And thus Gcd has mauucue-:! than without be- .ovv'ing on me the ot' r. •:.3.-;cu. he could tind- a- ay wherein I m:_ht br cucciualiy enabled to con- ey tlie truths of ni; glv. r^ous gof. el to the m^inds of refe poor bctigbued i'agans. /,'-:/!/)', The ejfids of this \v-ork have been very re- larkable. I doubt not but that many of thefepeo- le have gained miore knovvledge of divine truths, nee June iaff. than could havp. been inftilled into leir minds by the moft diligent ufe of proper means )r whole yijrs together, without fuch a divine in- aence. Their Pagan notions and idolatrous practices em to be entirely abandoned. They are regularly, fpofed in the affairs o^niarrijy^i: an inftance whereof have given in mv Journal of Augufi: 14. They feem neraliy di\'orced from d->'ii-:^en7'efi. iheirdarlmg vice, id the " hn that eauh- bef.^ts them y' fo that I do )t knovv' of more than tv/o or three who have been y fteady inearers. that have drank to excefs fmce I 'ft vjfited them,, although before it was comm.on for fome 142 fome or other ofthem to be drunk almofh every day and fome of them feem now to fear this fin in particu lar more than death itfelf. A principle of honelij andjuftice appears in many of them, and they fee|i concerned to difcharge their old debts, which the) have negieded, and, perhaps, fcarce thought of fo: years pad. Their manner of living is much more de cent and comfortable than formerly. Love reign among them, efpecialiy thofe who have ejvperiencec a real change: and J never faw any appearance q ^\ bitttrnejs ox anjonciifrufu nor any difpoUlion to ei teem themfelves better than oiliers/' As their forrows under convictions have been grca andpreffing, fo many of them have fine e appeare< | to " rejoice with joy unfptakable/' Andyet their con folations do not incline them to %'2fnc/j ; but are at tended with fulei'inity. and v/ith tears, and broken nels of heart. And in this refpeft fome of them havi been furprifed at themfelves, and iidve v/ith concen obfexved to me, that ^' when their hearts have beei glad," " they could not help cryiDg for ?.1L" Upon the whole, here are all the eviaences of remarkable work of grace, that can reafonably b looked for. May the great Anthor main rain and pre mote the fame A(?-r harveft. that thofe who .1 m darknefs may fee great light, and that the whole arrh mav be hlled witii the knowled-je of hin>felf!" :_ruefday5 November 5. He left the Indians, and jtrt the remaining part of this- week in travelling to ar^ous parts of New-Jerfey, in order to get a colkc-- ;•! for the ufe of the Indians, and to obtain a fchooL' T.']tr to inftrU^t ihem.J Lord's day, Novem.ber 10^, fAt Elifabeth-TownJ prea<:hed in the forenoon from 2 Cor. v. 20. God I'as pleafed to give me freedom and fervency :• and le prefence of God feeraed to be in the anemblv : umbers were alfefled, and there were rnan\'- tears mong them. In the afternoon, I preached from /uke xiv. 22. And yet there is room." I was ivoured vnth divine ariiftance in the -fir ft prayer, nd poured out my foul to God with aJilial temper; living God aho aiiilfed m.e in-fermon. ''Friday, November 15. I could not crofsthe feny y reafonlof the \ iolencc of the v/ind ; nor could I . njoy any place of refircinent at the f«Jny-houfe* ''et God gave me iorne fatis faction in mieditaiion. arid fting up my heart to God in the uiidil of company, vnd although forne were cr'^:k'.i:g; and talking pro- mely ; yet- my mind was cahTi ana compci':'d. And - could -ncr but blcfs God. that 1 was* lio: hke to ■' i5end an eternity m luch company. ( 144 ) Saturday, November 16. I cro {Ted the ferry aboi ten o'clock; arrived at Eli fabeth -Town near nigh I was in a compofed frame of mind, and felt an er tire reiignalion with refped; to a lofs I had lately fu tainedj in having my horfe ftolen from me the la: W ednefday night. Friday, November 22, I rode to Mr. Tennent', and from thence to Crofweekfung. Oh that I coul fill up all my time, whether in the houfe or by th way, for God ! I was enabled this day to give up m foul to God, and put all my concerns into his hand and found real confolation in the thought of bein entirely at his difpofal, and having no will or inte reft of my own, I have received my all from God Oh that I could return my all to God ! Surely God i worthy of my higheft affe£lion, and mod devou adoration ; he is infinitely worthy, that J fhoul make him my laft end, and live for ever to him : Ol that I might never -more, in any one inftance, liv< to my fe If ! Lord's day, November 84. I preached from th ilory of Zaccheus. When i infilled upon the falva tion ihdit cmnes io thefinner^ upon his becoming a tru( believer, the word feemed to be attended with d* vine power.— -Numbers were much afFefted former conviftions were revived;— one or two per fons newly awakened ;-— and a moft affectionate en gagement in divine fervice appeared among them uni ■verfally., November 260 I was favoured with freedom and -fervency in my difcourfe. Many wept and fobbe^ aftedionately^ and fcarce any appeared unconcerned] in the v.^hole affembly. The influence that feizecj the audience appeared gentle, and yet deeply aitefil-. ed the heart. It excited in the perfons under con-; visions of their loft ftate, heavy groans and tears : ~— — and in others who had obtained comfort, a fweetj! and humble melting. It feemed like the gentle butij ileady fhowers that effeftualJy v/ater the earth. The perfons lately awakened, were deeply dif- treffcdj and appear ing fpent fome hours in private conference with -J! fome of my people. 1 explained the ftory of the ej rich m.an and Lazarus. Luke xvi. 19. 26. The word ■ made powerful imprefiions upon many, efpecialiy while 1 difcmnfcd of the bleiredncfs of Lazarus in 1 , Abraham's bofom." T/iis I cuuld perceive, aftecled :; jthem much more than what I fpcke of the rich man's torments. And thus it has been ufually with tliem. They have appeared much more afFcftcd with the comjortabk than the drcaajul truths of God's word. And that winch has di'ireiled many or them under conviftions, is, that they waiTted, atui C(juld not ob- tain the happinels of !he ,L-odl)-; they have often ap- peared to be more alTeftcd v/itli this, tlian ^vith the ^d/T6i?-i of hell, liut whatever be tlie viea)is of their awakening, it is plain, runibers arc made deeply Jen- %fibk of their fin and mifery. the ^vnckednefs of tlieir 1 N own ( 4.46 ^ ) own hearts, their utter inability to kelp'thernfelv^Sj or .come to Chrift for help, without divine ailiftance. Lord's day, December i. I gave them particular cautions and dircftions relating to their condu£l in divers .refpc61:s. And preffed them \.o watchfulnejs m all their deportment, i'eeing they .were encom.pafled .With thofe that " waited for their halting," and who' ^.ood ready to draw, them inio temptations every kind,; and then to expofe. religion on their account. Monday, December 9. I fpent mofh^ of the day in procuring provifions, in order to my fettiqg up' Koufe-keeping among the Indians. Tuefday, December, lo. I was engaged in the fame bufmefs as.yefterday. Towards night . I ._got . into my ownhoufe.* December 1.2. I preached from the parable of the .ten virgins^ Matth. xxv. The divine power feemed ,10 attend this dilcourfe, in which I was favoured with uncommm hG^dom andplainnefs of addrefs, and enabled to open divine truths, in a manner /^fycn^ my- felf. — - — There appeared in many an affe^ionate con- .eern for tlieir, folds : And it was refrefhing to fee them melted into tears ; fome.. with, a _y^/2/f of divine ii • love, and ibme for want of it, ^ 1 Lord's day, December 1 5, I preached to the In- dians from Luke xiii. 24. 28, Divine -ti'uths fell witk weiglit .upon the audience. Near night I dlfcouifedj to them again from Matth. xxv. 31 ; to 46. At which i feafon alfo, the word appeared to be accompanied • with divine influence, and made powerful impref-j . fions upon the alfem.bly in general, as. well as upon; divers perfons in a veiy particular manner. This was, an amazmg feafon of grace ! " The word of the Lord,'' was quick and powerful, Tharper than ^ two-edged fword." The aifembiy was deeply wrought! .upon ; and the imprcffions made by ihe word of God' appeared * This is the third houje that he built to dwell in by him-\ felf among the Indiaiis : the jirjt at Kaunauvicck in the com-, ty of Albany : thejccond at the Forks of Ddaioarc in PlvA Jylvania j and now iJds at Crojweekjung in Kew-Jtrjey, 1 { ) arrnrrarci folicl and rational, wort of the roleniii- = trutiii by merins or whicii ihcy were prodaceQe ■ O how did the hearts of thr hearers feem ro bow under the weigln of divhie truths ! And how evident did it new appe.a- Tnat they r-iceived imd jdt them, not as ilie word of man, but as the word of God 1'' December 16. There was much affetlion and con» - cern in the afTembly: efpecially one woman appear- ed in great diftrefs. She was brought to fuch an .^rv'P' m feeking after Chvift, that the fweat ran off her i ace for a conhderable time, although the even- ing w::s very cold ; and her bitter cnes were the mod affecting indication cf the- znri'arii ■ ansJuifli of her heart. S.Tturdav. December 21. My people having now ait I :.c 1 o a confiderable dei^rce of knowledge in the principle^ 01 Chriilianity, I tinought it proper to fet up a Lui_r:.:tKal kclurf, anjd this evening attempted Kjin-;hing '\nthatJorm-y proponng q-je'lions lo thc:r, • rccci\-ing tjicir anfwers. and then explaining and in- fiiti ng a- - • .-n 1 proper upon each queftion. A'tcr '.vhicn : cn': :.;-.-^uicd to make fome practical imprcive- men! ( the wiiole. — They were able readily and r^- "iiC'ij'-'.;: anfwer many im.porlant qjefiions : fo that 1 fovmd their knowledge to exceed my expeclationSe In the improvement of my difcourfe. when I came to open the blcifednefs of thofe who have fo great and glorious a God. as had been fpokcn of. for their cverlafhing friend and portion." fundry were much affefted ; and efpecially when I exhort- ed them " to be reconciled to God.'' through his acar Son. and thus to fccure an intcrell in his ever- lafting favour. Lord'c. day. December 22. I difcourfed upon the ilory of the young man in the gofpcl, Matth. ix. 16, — 22. God uuidc if a fcafonable word, to fome fouls. After my labour^ s\n'lh the Indians. I fpent fome time in \vr ting : and was m.ucli wearied with the labours of the day. I am^ confcious tomyfelf that my ' labours are as grca; and coniiant as my nature will bear, and that ordinarily I go ro the extent of my N 2 ftrength : ( '48 ) llrength ; fo that I do all I can ; but the mifery is, I do not labour with that heavmly temper, that fmgle eye to the glory of God, that I long for. There were fundry perfons of the Indians newly come here, who had frequently lived among Qua- kers ; and being more civilized than the generality of the Indians, they had imbibed fome of theQ^uakers errors, efpecially this, That if men would but live according to the diftates of their own confciences, (or the light within^) there is no doubt of their falva- tion.— The-fe perfons I found much worfc to deal with tlian thofe who are wholly under Pagan dark- nefs, who make no pretences to knowledge in Chrif- tianity, nor have axiy fe^J'-righteous foundation to ftand xipon. However, they all, except one, appeared novv' convinced, that this was not fufficient to falva- tion ; fmce Chrifl himfelf had declared it fo in the cafe of the young man. And feemed in fome mea- furc concerned to obtain that change of heart which X had been labouring to fhew them the neceffity of. This waslikewife a feafon oi comfort to fome fouls, and in particular to one, who never before obtained any fettled comfort. W hen I came to enq^uire of her, how fhe got re- lief from the diftreffes fhe had lately been under, fhe anfv/ered in broken Englifh,* " Me try, me try, fave myfelF, iaft my llrength be all gone, (meaning her ability to lave herfelf,) could not me fhir bit fur- ther. . Den lafl, me forced let Jefus Chrifl alonc^ fend me hell if he pleafe." I faid, But you was not v;^illing to go to hell, was you ? She replicd>f Could not me help it. My heart he would wick- ed for all. Could not me make him good 1 afked her, How Vac sot out of this cafe ?" She anfwered frill In proper Englijh thus, / tried and tried to favt myjelf, till at lajl my fl rength was all gone, and I could not JliY ayiy farther. Then at lajl I was forced to let Jefus Chrifi alone to fend me to hell if he plcafed," + In plain EngUfi thus, I could not help it. My heart would k wicked for all I could do^ IcopJdnot make it good. ( H9 ) ftill in the fame broken language, t By, by my heart be grad de(|jeratelv,'' I aik hell. I did not care where he put me, I Jliould love him J or alt j- ir e. do zvhat he would zoith ( ^5© } vvorran oi' more xhd>nJmr-fcor& years old, and appear- ed to be much broker] and veiy ckildijh through age, fg that it fecmed impoffible for man to inftil into her mind any notions of divine things. — She was led by the hand into my houfe, and appeared in extreme anguifh. I afked her, what ailed her ? She anfwer- ed, That her heart was diftrelTcd, and flie feared ihe Pnould never hnd Chrifl:/' I afked her, when flie began to be concerned ? She anfwered to this ef- feft. That ihe had heard me preach many tim.es, but never " felt it in her heart" "till the laft Sabbath; and then it came, fiie faid, " all one a3 if a needle had been thruft into her heart;" hnce which time fhe had no reft day or night. She added, that on the evening before Chriftmas, a number of Indians being together at the houfe where fhe v/as^, and difrourhng., abou': Chrifi, their talk pricked her heart, fo that flie could not fit up, but fell down on her bed ; at which time jlie zoent azuay, (as fhe exprefled it) and felt as . if fhe dream.ed, and yet is confident fhe did not dream. When flie was thus gone, fhe faw, fhe fays, two paths, one appeared very broad and crooked; and that turned to the left hand. The other appeared firaight and very narrow ; and that went up the hill to- the right hand. She tr?tvelled, {he faid, for fome time up the narrow right-hand path, 'till at length fomething feemed to obftra6l her journey. She fometimes called it darknefs. and fometimes feemed to compare it to a block or bar. She then remem- bered, fhe fays, v;hat fhe had heard me fay about- " flriving to enter in at the flrait gate," (although fne took little notice of it at the, time) and thought fhe would climb over this bar. But juft as fhe was think- ing of this, fhe came back again, as fhe termed it, meaning that fhe came to hejfelf; whereupon her foul was extremely diftrelfed, apprehending fhe had; now turned back and forfaken Chrift, and that there - was therefore no hope of mercy for "her. I then propofed to her the provifion made in the gofpel for the falvation of finnerj, and the ability and V/iilingnefs of Chrifl to fave to the uttermoft ail (old ( '5« ) (old as well as young) that come to hira.'' To which file feemed to give a hearty affent. But in- ftanth^,- repHed. Ay. but I cannot corn's : my wick- ed heart not come to Chrift ; i-*do not know ho^\^ to come."" And this fhe fpoke in anguifb of Ipirit. (Iriking her breaft, with tears in her eyes, and with fuch earnfjlnefs in her looks as was indeed alTecling. She feems to be really convinced of her fin and' miferv. and her need of a change of lieart : and her concern is abiding and conftant. So that ^nothing appears but that this exercife may have a faving li"- fue. And" indeed there is ground to hope for it, feeing fhe is folicitous to obtain an interefhin Chrift", that her heart, (as fhe expreffes it) and prays day a.nd night. December 28. I difcourfed to my people in the catechetical method I lately entered upon. And rre the improvement of my difcourfc. wherein I was- comparing mdin'i prd/ent with his primitive ftate : and prelTing fmners to take a view of their deplorable circumftances without Chrift ; as alfo to ftrive that thev m.av obtain an intereftin him ^ the Lord grant- ed a remarkable influence of his blelled Spirit, and there was a great concern in the aflemblv ; many were nielted into tears, and the imprelTions made upon them feemed deep and heart affefting. And in. particular, there-were two or three perfons who ap- peared to be reduced almofl to extremity ; being con- vinced of the impoflibilitv of helping themfelves, or mending their own hearts j and upon the point giving up all hope in themfelves. and venturing upon Chrift as naked, helplefs, ?inAundone, Lord's dav; December 29. I preached from John iii, 1 — 5. A number of white people were prefent, as is ufual upon the Sabbath. The difcourfe feemed to have ^JiLnt, hut deep d^nd. piercmg influence upon the audience. Many wept and fobbed affecfionately. - And there were lome tears among the v;hite people^ as well as the Indians. Some could not refrain from crying cut. But the impreflions made upon their hearts. ( ' ^52 ') he'arfs,- appeared ciiiefly by the extraordinary earneft*] nefs of their attention, and their heavy lighs and' tears. After public worfliip was over, 1 went to 'i*ny'' houfe, propofing to preach- again after a fhort inter*- mifiion. But ihcy foon came in, one after ano'her, -. with tears in their eyes, to know "wliat they fliould • do to be favcd." And the divine Spirit in fuch a: manner, fct home upon their hearts what I fpoke to them, that the houfe was Xoon filled with cries and ^ groans. I'hey all flocked together upon this oc- • cafion, and thofe whom I had reafon to think in a Chriftlefs ftate, were almofb universally feized with*' concern for their fouls. It was an amazing fcafon of pow^r among themji' and fcemed as if God had bowed the heavens and come down." So aftonifhingly prevalent was the operation u])on old. as well as young, that it feemed ' as if God was about to convert all the vjorld. And' I was ready to think tht)7, that I fhould never again' defpair of the converfion of any man or woman > living. It is irapoflible to give a juft defcription of the ap-- pearance of things at this Icafon. A number were •« rejoicing that God had nvt taken away the influence ' of his blelfed Spirit. — Refreflicd to fee fo many ' *' ftriving to enter in at the flrait gate;"- — and ani-»' mated with fuch concern for them, that they wanted ■ *' to pufh them forward," as fome of them ex p re (fed < it. — At the fame time numbers both of men and %vomen, old and young, might be fcen in tears, and ^ ^ome in anguifh of fpirit, appearing in their very , countenances, like c()ndcmned malefaftors going to-. - wards the place of cxeci.ltion : lo tliat (here fcemed, a lively emblem of tlic folcmn day of accounts ; a .': mixture of heaven and hell; oljoy unlpeakable. and anguifli inexpreliible. The concern was Juc/i.^ that ] could not pretend to have -dny formal religious exerclfe among them ; but fpent the time in difcourhng to one and another, fometimes ail together, and concluded with prayer. i>uch ( '53 ) Svch were their circumftances, that T -could fcarce have half an hour's reft from fpeaking from about half an hour before twelve o'clock, (at which time I began public worfhip) "till paft /even at night, December 30. I wasvifited by four or five young perfons under concern for their fouls, moft of whom were very lately awakened. They wept much while I difcourfed to them, and endeavoured ta prefs upon them the neceflity _f(yi7ig to Chriftj. without delay, for falvation. December 31. I fpent fome hours this day in vi- hting my people from houfe to houfe : and fcarce left a houlc, v.dthout leaving fome or other of its in- habitants in tears, folicitoufly engaged to obtain an intereft in Chrift. The Indians arc now gathered together from all quarters to this place, and have built them little cot- tages, fo that more than twenty families live Vvithin a quarter of a mile of me. A very convenient fitua- tion in regard of both public and private inftru^tion. Wednefday, January 1. 1745-6. — I am this day bcn;innina a N^ew Year j and God has carried me through nrnTiCrous trials and labours in the paft. He has amazingly fupported. my feeble frame;, for having obtained help of God, I continue to this- da\'." O that I might live nearer to God, this, year than I did the laft I The bufinefs that 1 have been enabled to go through, 1 know, has been a& great as nature could bear up under^ and what v/ould have funk me quite, without fpecial fupport. But alas ! chough I have done the labours and enduied the trials, v/ith v/hat fpirit I have done the one. and borne the other ? How cold has my heart often been? and how little have I eyed the glory of God 1 I have found, -that I could have no peace without filling up all m.y time with labours; and thus necefiity has been laid upon me;''' yea, in that refpeft, h have loved to labour; but I could not fenhbly labour /or God, as I would have done. May I for the future be enabled more fenfibly to make the gloiy of God my dll This ( ^54-) lle( Ic J lee 1^6 iVi ioi k iiii This, day I fpent feme confiderabl'e' timc'in~vifif^|i I ing my people again, and found fcsrc.e one but whatj I was under fomc ferious. impreifionso . January 2. 1 vilited fome perfons newly come a-v mong uSj who had fcarce ever .heard ^ any .thing of Chriftianity (but tlie naine). i endeavoured to inflruft them in the firft prirci-jjJes of .'religioHy in . the moft eafy and , familiar manner I could. . There are ft rangers from rcmoic, parts almoft conr ^tinually dropping in. ib that 1 liave otcafion rev .peatedly to, open ai^^d inculcate xhc.frfi priridplcs of Chriftianity., Near night I prapofed to 'nave proceeded in my- ufu.al method of Gatcchifmg. But while vve were engaged in ihe iirft prayer, the power of God came upon the aflembly in lo, remark able a inanner. and fo many appeared under prelTing concern, .that thought it much mare expedient to inlift upofi the ft plentiful pro.viiion made f )r the redemption of po rifhing fmncr.^. and to pr efo tlicnr to 2i J'peedy. accep- tance of the [(Avation, xhs^i^ to alk ihem qucfti- ei]s aboutTi/o/i^nw^'/. points. ... I baj)tizcd two perfons this day ; one adult and one child. 'ihe woman has difcfevercd an iicavenly frame of mindj from, licr fn ft . reception of com>fort. One morning in pariicular. fhc came to fee me, difcover- fng an unufual joy in.her^ counienancc; and when 1 inquired the reafon of it, fine replied, " 'I'hat God had made her feel that it was ngiit for. him to do as he pleafed v/ith.all thmgs ? She moreover inquired, whether I was not lent to preach to the Indians, by fome good people. a great way oif.. I replied, Yes,, by ihe good people in Scotland. . She anivvered,! that her licart loved thofe good people fo, the even-, ing liefore, that flie could icarcc help praying for . them all. night, .lier heart would go to God them." Wedncfday, January 8. My heart was drawq out afterGod: my Ibul was refrefhcd and quickned;l \ had great hopes of the ingathering. cf precious fouhi to Chrill ; nm only among, my own peopie, but others alio. I was Iweetly religned and compofed under my bodily weaknefsj and was-willing to live or die, and dclirous Lo labour for-God to the utmoft of my- ihen^th. Friday, January lo. My foul was in a calm, com- pofed frame, and my heart filled with love to all the •v/orld; and Chriftian iimplicity and tendernefs ieem- -ed to prevail, and reign with me. Near night. I vi- •lited a fejious baptift-miniiler, and had fome agreea- ble converfation with him. January i 3, I v/as vifucd by divers perfons under -deep coiiccrn : one of whom was newly awakened, — It is a mofl agreeable v/ork to treat w^ith fouls who are loiicitoufly niGuiring what they fhall do to be icived." And as we are never tc ^' be weary i-n well- •doing," fo the obligation - is peculiarly Pcrong when tiie work is fo lively. And yc": mv health is fo much impaired, and my fpirits fo wafted with my labours, and folitary m.anner of living, ^^ f here being no h 11 m.an .^•rcature in the houfe: with ms,; that their repeated ■ ?nd almoft inceiTant application to me for help and. direftionj are fometimes^ exceeding; burdenfome. And what contributes mucli toward this difhculty is, -that I am. obliged to fpcnd ymick time comnruni-cating a litiU matter to them ; there being often m.any things .necefiaryto be premifed. before i-can fpeak direftly to what I principally aunat; which things would readily be taken for granted., where there v/as a com- ^ ^petency of knowk-dge. Lord's day, January 19, I catechliied in my ordi- nary method. Number . were much affefted.-^Con- 'viciions powerfully re\-i\-ed. — Divers of the Chrif- 'tians rcfreflred and .ftreno^hencd. — And one v/eary ■ kt^avy Iddt'ii i^-oiiL^ I have reafyn to hope was brought ; to true rell and iolid com Fort in Chriil. He told me^ he had ©hen h.eard :ne fay, that per- h-fons raufl fie and ye-d^themil-lves helplefs and undone ; •that they muft: give up all liope of fa\'ing themfelves • by their ozvn doings, in order to tlieir coming to Chrift Jor falvation. And he had long been ilriving after 1 . ^^i' 5 ( »S6 ) this ; fuppofing this would be an excellent frame of mind: that God would have refpeft to this frame, and beftow eternal life upon him. — — But when he came to feel himfelf in this helplefs undone condition, ] he found it quite contrary to all his thoughts : fol that it was not the fame, nor indeed any thing /zkthe | frame he had been ieeking after. Inftead of its hQ-l ing a good frame of mind, he now found nothing buti badnefs in himfelf, and faw it was for ever impoifible | for him to make himfelf any better. He was amazed |J he had never before feen that it was utterly impoffible for him, by all his contrivances and endeavours, to do any thing that way.--— — Inftead of imagining that God would be pleafed with him for the Take of this frame of mind, he faw clearly it would be juft with God to fend him to eternal mifery ; and that there ^s di^ no goodnefs in what he then felt; for he could not help feeing, that hewas naked, fmful, and miferable, and there was nothing in fuch a hght to dcferve God's love or pity. In this frame of mind he came to public worfhip this evening, and while I was inviting fmners to come to Chrift n'aked and empty, Without any goodnefs of iheir own to recommend them to his acceptance ;~he thought, that he had often tried to come and give up his heart to Chrift, and he ufed to hope, that fonie time or other he fhould be able to do fo. But now he was convinced he could not, and it feerned utterly vain for him ever to try any more : nor did he now hope for a better opportunity hereafter, as'; he had formerly dome, becaufe he fav/, and was fully convinced, hi-s own Icrcngth would for ever fail. While he was mufing in ihis manner, he faw, he faid, with his heart (which is a common phrafe among them) fomething that was unfpeakably goodj and lovely, and what he had never feen before ; and this ftole away his heart whet'ner he would or no." He did not, he f aninin::torin j die ."^i-ab^-nce, ('cd d:. > been r>ic:'i^.i to own bleis die admi- n:::i'...o:i .d d-: . a< ',\'.jd a; of iiis other : : • , a:- -T^ d;o I :-..d ..!--. T;:crj are Idme here -...a: a a-'C bcea pv/..- ad ;dv ,a, ,-.b. . . . ed . : dc;a ^ > -deri --pa d'cd. ^n'_. :uai / : a..: .i.a/e a : .iiae,; ra.-er a i e ^ a, a " ap: -ill taei...djn Wi^an di.s oraia:;aee da::, be^a it--a::aML- :ered.- ibr.',a:/d night I catechiiea. God made thl^ apow- eid^i !d a ai. There were many affeHed.— Former cc iv;::: .a: ••aerc pov/erfully revived. . Xhere v/as liaL^a.ij c!-e. aaiao dux been a- vile drunkard, le- ia.ad:ablv aa-a.b:e a -i . lie aD!3eared to be in great a]:paidi c!-" idah war: aao aaaa^bla '. and contiaacd id 10 do :d[ a ear na .-a;^na " a: aa was alio a pjor 'aapa bada bj;d. \v::u a ,a a. a 'a::^ under {pirituai Ciitrei-. ihst v/js new b:oa.:a: a> a comfortable cabn^ aad :aid laae. ■* aa. . ..ow law and felt it was right G o.i d.j.da vj vhid bar as he pleaied.'"' And added, tha: the baa: . .aa rhe had lain under, was now re- moved ; di^t d.e fad die never could do any thing to uve herbeld ia^i: aaaifl perifh for ea-er i:" dbaid: did n-: dj ad for acr. But Chrin: could lave Iier, ihou^ii dre could do ncthing to lave herielF. Lerdd day. February i6. Knowing that divers of t-ie iadiansiai da.c:a parts were obttinatcly fet again id Chriilianiry. d:o.. p, : i L proper ro have fome of my people fioai Ld . vcekibrng with me, in order to ccnverfe with d:em ;. hoping it might be a means to convince them of the trudi. to fee and hear fome or their own nation ciicoarbing: of divine things, a'ad aaa- nifeiting earneii dedres that others might be brougac out 0 f Id e at h e rd da ci ^ \ ianefs, as th em be I v e s w ere. And haviaij *cb..ea- .j: If a dozen of tiae m.od lerioais and knoN-aia r 1 this day met widi tiiem and - the Inaaaa.^ a: dv: ai..ee, iiundiv of wiiom coaid not have been pi = \'adca i^oon to a:tend the meeting, n^d ^ ' O 2 . "it ( ) It not been for thefe Indians thai accompanied me) and preached to them.— Some of thern who had, iii limespaft, been extremely averfc to Chriftianityj now !>ehaved foberly'; tho' others laughed and mocked. I^^ow-evcr the word of God fell with fuch weight i.nd power, that feveral feerned to be ftunned, and cxprelied a willingnefs to " hear me again of thefe matters." After public worfhip i fpcnt forne time to convince , tl-ioiethat mcckedj of the truth and importance of ^vhat I had been infiTting upon ; and j had reafon tb iiiink. that my endeavours took eftc6i upon one of the worft of them. Thofe few Indians then prefent, whowfed lobe my hearers in thefe parts, .^^fopic having removed ifomlienceto Crofweekfung.) feeraed glad to fee mc again, although they had been fo much attacked by lom.e of the oppohng Pagair^, that they were al- moft afraid to manifeft their IViendfhip. In the evening I was in a compofed frame of mind. It w?s exceeding rc'refhing to think, that God had been v.'ith me, avoiding ree fome good ineafare of afiifiancc. I fuutid freed;: m in prayer and thankfgiving to God; aiid foiuid my foul iweefly enlarged in prayer for dear friends and acquairitance. Bielfed be the mm.e. of the Lord, that ever 1 am en- abled to do any tiling for his intcreit ar.d kingdom. Bleffed be God v.- ho enables rne to be faithfrd. I enjoyed more reiclution for God, and riiore refrefli- ment of fpirit, than I have been favoured with for many weeks paft. February 17. I difcourfed from A£ls viii. 5--— 8, A divine influence feemed to attend the word. Sundry of the Indians here appeared to befomewhat awaken<.d, and m.anifeflcd a concern by their ear- nefl: attention, tears and fobs. My people from Crofweekfung continued with them day and night, repeating and inculcating the truths I had taught them : and fomxCtimes prayed and fung pfalms among them; difcourhng with each other, in their hearing •Cif the o-rcat things God bsd done for Mf?«, and for ( i6i ) the Indians from whence they came : wliich feemed to take more eHe6t upon ihem, than when they di- refted their difcourfes immediately to them. February 18. I preached to an afiembly of Irifit people near fifteen miles diflant from the Indians, February 19. 1 preached to the Indians again, after having fpcnt a conhderable time in converfmg with them privately. Tiiere appeared a great fo- iemnity, and fome concern and affr.clion among the Indians telong-ino- to thefe iiarts, as well as a fwcet melting among th.ofe who came whh me. — - — Divers of the Indians here feemed to have their prejudices removed, and appeared well difpofed to hear the word of God. February 20. I preached to a fmall aiTembly of High-Dutch people, who had fckloni Iieard. the gofpel preached, and vvcre, (fome of them at leafl) vcrv ignorant; but hiave divers of livc-rn lately been put upon an iiujuiry alier tlie \va\' oi fal-zacion. They gave wonderful aitention, and fome of ihem were much affected, and afterv/ards fciid. (as \ was informed) that they never had been (o much en- lightened about tlic way of falvation in their whole lives before. They requefted me ro larry v.dth thcm, or come again and preach to them. And it grieved jiie drat I could not comply with their rv'queft, for I could not but be affcfted with their circumftatices; they being as fheep not having a flrepherd." February 21. I preached to a number of people, many of them Low-Dutch. Sundry of the fore- mentioned Fligh-Dutch attended the fermon, though ci^^ht or tc7i miles difliant from their houfes. — — Di- vers of the Indians alfo belonging to thcle part?, came of their own accord with my people (from Crofweekfung) to the meeting : tv/o in particular, who in the lalt Sabbath, oppofed and ridiculed Chriflianity, February 22. I preached to the Indians. They fecmedmore free from prejudice, and more cordial to Chriflianity than before, and fome appeared arach affeacd. O3 , My ( ^6. ) IVly Spirits were fupported, though my bodil)?- ilrength was much waited. O that God would be ii gracious to the fouls of thefe poor Indians ! God has been very gracious to me this week: he ii| has enabled me to preach every day ; and lias given la me fome afTiftance, and encouraging profpcft of iuc^ cefs in almoll every feiinon. Bleiied be his name* Divers of the white people have been awakened this in week ; fundry of the Indians much cured of the pre- ii judices and jealoufies they had conceived againft- || Chrifhianity, and (oxnc feemed to be really awa- kened. |li [The next day he left the forks of Delaware, to I return to Crofweekfung ; and fpent the whole week cr 'till Saturday, before he arrived there ; but preached by the way every day, excepting one; and was' to feveral times greatly afliiled; and had much inward jii comfort,^and earfiefh longings to fill up all his time iiii with the fervice of God.] w Lord's day, March 2. Some of my people v^^ho iC went up to the Forks of Delaware with me, being iit now returned, were, accompanied by two of the. »: Indians belonging to the Forks, who had pro- j mifed rae a {]}eedy vifit. Tiiey can fcarce go into a ai houfe now, but ihey will meet with Ghnftian con- verfatiot], wherby they may be both iriftrucled and awakened. ■ 01 J 'know of no afiembly of Chriflians, where there c feemsHo be fo mueh of th , preience of God, where ^ brotherly love fo much prevails, as in my own con- p gregatlcii : although not m,ore than nine months ago, they 'were worfhipping druils and dumbidob^ under the povv-er of Pagan darknefs and fuperrllition. Am.az- , ing change! eifetled by nothing leis than divine power and grace ! Their prefent htuation is fo compact and com-^ modio.Us, that they are quickly called together with ^ only the found of a Conk-fhell, (a fhell like that of a Perwinkle) fo that they have frequent opportujii- ties of attending religious c^ei^ifcs publicly ; which feenu { ^63 ) fccms to be a great :r.ear.«. iir.der God. cf keeping; alive thvir i;::::: c.^:o:^^ i di^'iv c dungs, Thuiica}'. - ' d I \valkcd. :done in d:-c d-'en- ing, and e:d ; . - ;iiidrt in prayei-. 'cy.,!..'. \d: -i I have ofd;-.c ^-jjO;-'..,: ^cil r \ ic^d i; : ■ -:- m%e-Jtc.\i. I \va> dcd^':.^d \-. die . _ . :d.u- bcuring and enduring ;i.vrt:..:,jS for God : ar.v. cundded in God that be "-never \'.oudi lca\-e r:or!^orUke me/' to di: end cd race. O"'. ma , i u'^ an n mer- cy of God to be faidind. ro irn.- ..vi - ^ nn_.:nant ' ' March 8. I catechiidd in the e-. : ... Md- peo- ple anfu-ered the queftions prop.fea to mcin \v-cil. i can percei\-e their knowledge in religic-n ir- creales daily. And what d -''d n- ra _ nd " n the divine influence among td . : :> condnne. Ihe di\dne prcfencc laen:. ; ^ me aficmrdy drn.i ex'enmg. Some. -A-ho . . Lians iuiljed, v.xre rnehcd with a feni'e or the aivinc good- neld andthcd' c^vn barrcnncfs and iri^rc.d'rude. Cm.-.afdn - do appearo'.: a. :n !n . r.d; fa it an m: ja . m, b® called " an cv :niii.^ •-: pi -word '' Lord s day. dl^aLh 9. I preached from Luke.x^ 38—42. idre vrord of God was attended with a^LC need with energy. X-nnbers v.-ere aSected and concerned to oh rain the one thing needful. Se^-cnd -thar]:a\'e gi\ en ^raod evidences of being tridn graci- ous, v;ere much aiiected wich a fenfe of their want of fpirituaJity : and faw the need they flood in of r7 'race. And moft that had had any im- pr , : L . ^ L : ci'.-ine things in times pall, now felt: tdLaa d- . a dd n; rmd-cd. in dm ..d^anov^n, 1 ^iropw^ed lo have catechiled in my nfnal method. But while vre ^vere engaged in the drft prayer, in the Indian languag.^. m,s ufual) a great part of the affembly wa^ 10 macii moved, that I thought it am-aer to omit the quefbions, and infift " upon the mad r Vc.dticrl rradis. There appeared to be a povrerful induence in the congregation. Thofe trubv pious, were fo deeply affected \\dth a fenfe of their O'vn .'.a- nv /.a and ■ iheir own un\vorthy treaiment of the blcded Re-^ ( »^>4 ) decmer, that they looked on him as pierced by thcm||i felves, and mourned^ yea, fome of them were in bittirr-W' ntfs as for a frft-born, — Some poor awakened linrierjR'' aifo appeared to be in anguifh of foul to obtain arliF intereit in Chrift. So that there was a grea^ viourmn^ in the affembiy : many heavy groans and tear one or two perfons nev/ly come among us, were confiderably awakened. After public woriiiip many came to my houfe,;; where we fung and difcourfed; and the prefence oJi God feemed here alfo to be in the midft of us. i While we were-iinging, there was one (the woma^ mentioned in my Journal of February 9,) who, ] may venture to fay, was " filled with joy unfpeaka- ble and full of glory/'.and could not but burft fortb in prayer and praifes to God before us all, with man) tears, crying fometimes in Englifh, and fometimes in Indian, O bleffedLord, do come, do come! Ode f take me away, do let me die and go to Jefus Chrift !; 1 am afraid if I live I ihall fm again ! O do let mc die now ! O dear Jefus, do come 1 I cannot flay, ij cannot flay ! O how can I live in thiswoiid! del take my foul away from this iinful place ! O let me never fin any morel''' — In this ecftafy flie continued fome time, uttering thefe and fuch like expreffionsl inceffantly. When fhe had a little recovered, I aflvcd her, if , Chrift was now fweet to her foul ? Whereupon, turn-i ing to me v/ith tears in her eyes, and with all the tokens of deep humility, fhe faid, '* I have many times heard you fpeak of the goodncfs and the fweet- nefs of Chrift, that he was better than all the world. But O ! I knew nothing wh at you meant, I never believed you ! I never believed you ! But now I know it is true!" — I anfwered, And do you fee enough in Chrift for the greateft of finners ? She re- plied, " O! enough, enough ! for all the finners in the world, if ihey would but come.'^ And when I alkedlier, if fhe could not tell them of the gvoodncfs of Chrift: turning herfelf about to fome poor Chrift- Icfs fouls who ftood by, and were much affcdcd, ftic faid, { ) faidj •• O l there is enough in ChriO; lor you, if you would but corae ! O (iiive, ftiive to give up your hearts to him !" — And upon hearing Ibmething of the glory of heaven mentioned, Ihe again fell into the fame ccilafy, repeating her former exprefiions, 0 dear Lord, do let rne go! O what fhall I do, what fhall I do! 1 want to go toChriir! I cannot h- e ! O do let me die ! " She continued in this fwcet frame for more than '". o hours, before fhe was well able to get home. 1 am fcnfible there m.ay be great joys, where tl'iere 10 fubiiantial evidence of their being well-ground- But in the prefent cafe there feenied to be no c . idence wanting, in order to prove thisjoy to beldi- vnie, either in regard of its pieparatives. aticn- Qant:. or confequents. Of all rliepcrfons I have feen, 1 fcarce ever faw ona mere bowed and broken under convictions of fm than this woman. Nor fcarce any who feemed to }>ave a gr-eater acquaintance with her own heart tlian ihe had. She would frequently complain to me of the hardne-fs and rebellion oF her heart. That her heart was not willing to come to Chrift for faivation, but tried every v^here elfe for help. And as Vne was remarkably fenfible of her ftub- bornnefs under conviftion, lb ihe appeared to be no lefs remarkably reconciled to Divine grace, before fiae: cbtained any relief. Since which Are has conftantiy breathed the I'pirit and temper of a new creature : crying after Chrift. noi through fear of hdl a.s before, but with llrong dehres after him as her only fa.tisfying_ portion; and has many tim^cs wept bitterly, becauic file could not love him. — When I have fonietimes afKed her, Why fhe ar-pearcd fo forro^vful, and. whether it was bccaufs fl.e VN^as afraid of hell ? She would anfwer, No, I be not diftreiTed obout M/zt /. but m.y heart is fo wicked I cannot love Chrift;" and thereupon buril out into tears — But although this- hac been the habitual frame of her mind for feveral v/cck, yet file never had any remarkable comfortj. till this evening. ( y The attendants of this comfort, were ftich as ab-an- dantly dilcovcrcd that it was truly joy in the fIol)ij Ghoft." Now fhe viewed divine truths as living realities znd could fay, " I knov/ thcfc things arc fo, J feel they are true !" Nom hcr foul v/a.s refign ' ed to the divine will in In a inofl tcnde-r points ; , & that when I (aid to her, Wliat if God fnould take away' your hufband from ycu, (%vho vvas then fickj ! how do you think you could bear that ? She replied, " He belongs to God, and not to me; he.may dc v/ith him jull what he pleafcs.'". — Nozo flic had the mofl tender fen fe of the evil of fin. and difco\-crcclj the utmofl averfion to it. — Now (he' could freely Irafi her all w i di God fo r time a n cl et t rnit y A nd> whier I queried with her, how Hie could be willing to die and leave her little infant: and what fne though. WOiild become of it in cafe fnc (hould? She a'nfvv er ed, '^-God will take care of ic. It belongs to him he will take care of it.'' — N'oco- ike appeared to hav( the m Oil humbling fenfc of her ov^n unv/oJthinel and inability to prelerve herfelf from hn, arid to per faarere in holincfs. And I thought I had never leer . fuch an appearance ecjla/}' s.ii'ihumutl:y meeting ir any one perfon. The confequents of this joy are no lefs defn>;bl than its attendants, She iince appears to be a mdf tender, broken-hearted, aireftionate, devout, ant( humble Chriilian. as exemplary in life and coriverf/ ere wicked? One replied, Yes, flie felt it riow." Although before fhe came here, flie had faid, Pier lieart was not wicked, and fhe never had done any thing that was bad in her life.'' And this indeed fecms to be the cafe witli them, univerfaiiy in the Pa- gan flate. They feem to have no amfciou/nc/s of hn and guilt, unlefs they can charge themdelves with fome grjjs ads of fm. Monday, March 24. After the Indians were gone to their work, I got alone, and poured out my foul to God, that he would fmile upon thefe feeble be- ginners, and that he would fettle an Indian town, that might be the mountain ojhoknefs ; and found m.yfoul much refrefhed, and much enlarged forZion's inte- reft, and for numbers of dear friends in particular. My finking fpirits were revived, and I felt animated in thefervice God has called me to. This was the deareO: hour I have enjoyed for many days, if not weeks. I found an encouraging hope, that fome- thing would be done for God, and that God would ufe and help me in his work. And Oh, how Aveet were the thoughts of labouring for God, when I had any hope that ever I fhould be fucceeded ! P [The '[The next day, his fclwcl-mafter was taken fick with a pieurify ; and he fpent great part of the remainder of this week in tending him : which in this weak Hate was almofltoo much for him : he being obligee confhantly to wait upon him, all day, frOiw day to day, and to lie on the floor at night. His fpirits llmki in a confiderable degree, with his bodily {Irength mider this burden.] March 29. In the evening I catechifed as ufual —Treating upon the " benefits which believers re- ceive from " Chrift's death." The queflion were anfwered with great readinefs and propriety And thofe who, I have reafon to think, are the peo pie of God, were fweetly melted in general. Then appeared fuch a livelinefs and vigour in their atten dance upon the word of God, and fuch eagernefs t(! be made partakers of the benefits then mentioned, tha they feemed to be not only " looking for, but ha ftening to the coming of the day of God." Divini truths feemed todiHil upon the audience with a gen tie, but melting efficacy, as the refrefhing " fliower upon the new mown grafs." The aifembly in genei ral, as well as thofe who appear truly religious, weri affeQ:ed with an account of the bleifednefs of the god ly at death : and moft then difcovered an affeftionat| inclination to cry, *• Let me die the death of thi my days pai^ away tr.f •viT^^/ it is but little I do, or can do_. that t'.rr.s to ar^y account ; and it ii my cunldnt milcrx- a:id rLir- den, that I am fo fVuirkfs :r. the vineyard of tlie Lord. Oh that I wei\^ ' . that 1 might be active for God. 7'hii mo:e rr.a:: any thang elfe. makes me lor:g, tha: *' thh^ corru jcible might put on incorrup- h'^n. and :nh inrricd " rn: on immortalitv." God ac.n/cr ::;c from ch^g^. fctiefs. and a s>ody of c^ath, that imi oece mv fcrvicc fur him. Saturday, Aurii 5. — After public worihin. a rjum- bcr or m\- Qcar Ciirhfian Indians came to my houie ; wiih whom 1 fell a iweet union of foul ; my heart %V2l knit to ti^em ; and I ca.nnot fay, I have Felt fuch> a i','."eet and fervent i: 7"::;'''r'^,':i ':; from public ^\-orihip. And that, which, he f-\-s. gave hini the greateft uneafmefs, waSj not fo much any particular iin, as that he had nc\-cr dor.e the will of God at dl^ and fo had no claim to tlie kingaom r.f hea\-cn. In ( ) In the afternoon I opened to ttiem the difiiplineot Chrift in hi$ church, and the method in which of- fenders are to be dealt with. At which time the re^ ligious people were much afFcfted, elpecially when they Iieard, that the offender continuing obfhinate, nuift. finally be efieemed as an Heathen man, that has no part no4' lot among God's vifibie people." IJds- tliey fecmcd to have the moft av/ful apprehcnfi- onsor; a ftate of Hcathenifm, out of which they were fo lately brought, appearing very dreadful to them. After public worfbip I vifited fundry houfes to fee how they fpent the remainder of the Sabl^ath. and to treat with them folemnly on the great con- tierns of their fouls ; and the Lord fcemed to fmile upon my endeavours, and to make thcfe particulat iiddrc'ITes more effeftual than my public difcourfes. April J, I difcourfed to my people from i Cor. xi 23 — 26. and endeavoured to open to them the In- ilitution, nature, and ends of the Lord's fupper, a; 7^vcll as the qualifications and preparations necelfar) to the right participation of that ordinance. — Sundrj perfons appeared much affefted with the love 6 Chrift mariifefted in his making this provihon for tb( cdmfort of hi§ people, at a feafon v<;hcn himfslf wa; juft entering upon his lharpeil fuffcrings. [On Tuefday, he went to a mectiiig of the Pref hytery appointed at £lizabeth-Town. In his waj' thither, he enjoyed fome fwect meditations ; but af tcr he came there, he was (as he cxprelfes it) unde: an awful gloom, that opprciTed his mind. And tbi continued 'till Saturday-evening, when he began tc have fome relief. He fpent the Sabbath at Statei Jfland; v/herc he preached to an afltmbly of Dutcl and Englifli, and enjoyed conlidcrable refrefhmen and comfort, both in public and private. In th< evening he returned to Elizabeth-Town.] Monday, April 14, My fpirits were raifed anc i:cfreflied, and my mind compofcd, fo that I was ii # comfortable frame of foul, m^Oif of the day. Ii the everting my head was clear, my mind ferene ; cnjcyc< ( ^73 enjoytd fweetncfs in fecrct prayer and meclitatio-r>. Oh, how free, how comfortable, chearful, and yer folemn, do i feel when I am in a good mcafure freed fro,m thofe damps and melancholy glooms, that i often labour under ! Tuciday, April 15. IVIy foul longed for more fpi- rituality : and it was my burden, that I could do no more for God. Oh, my barrennefs is my daily af- fliftion ! Oh, how precious is time : and how it pains, me, to fee it Aide away,, while 1 do fo very little to any good purpofc ! Oh that God would make me more fruitful and fpi ritual, Thurfday, April 17^ I enjoyed fome comfort in. prayer, fome freedom in meditation,. and compofure m my ftudies. I f^)cnt fjme time in writing, in the forenoon, and in the a.ftemoon in converfation witli. feveral dear minifters. In the evening I preached from Plal. bcxili. 28.. But it is good for me to draw near to God." God helped me to feel the truth of my text, both in the firft prayer and in fer- mon.. I was enabled to pour ou: my foul to God -with great freedom, fervency, and afleclion : and to fpeak with, tendernefs, and yet with faitnfulnei's : and divine truths fecmicd to fall with weisiht and in- o fiuence upon the hearers. My heart was melted for the dear alfembly, and I loved every body in it ; and fcarce ever felt more lov.e to immortal Ibuls in my life ; my foul cried, " Oh that the dear creatures might be faved ! O that God would have mercy oa tbeml" Lord's day, April 20.'"' I enjoyed" fome freedom^ and exercife of faith and prayer, in the morning ; ^ efpecially when 1 came to pray for Zion. i was , free from that gloomy difcouragement, that fo often ppprelTes my mind ; and my foul rejoiced in the hopes of Zion's profpe.rity, and the enlargement of tfee dear kingdom of the great Redcm.er. Monday, April 21. I was compofed and comfort- abl-e mofl of the day ; free from thofe gloomy damps P 3 that . * This day hi enimd into ik O-^th year of his a^e,. ( i74 ') that I am fiT;quently excrcifed with : had freedom and comfort in prayer, fcveral times ; efpecially for j Zion's enlargement and profperity. And Oh, how i rcfrediing were thefe hopes to my foul ! Oh that j the kingdom of the dear Lord might come. Tuefday, April 22. My mind was remarkably ; free, from melancholy damps, and animated in my j work, I found fuch frefh vigour and refolution in ; the fervice of God, that the mountains fecmed to be- j come -iL plain before me. Oh, bleflcdbe God for an interval of refrefliment, and fervent refolution in ray Lord's work ! In the evening, my foul was refrefhed in fecret prayer, and my heart drawn out for divine "bleffmgs ; efpecially for the church of God, and his interelt among my own people, and for dear friends- in r emote places. Oh that Zion might profper, and precious fouls be brought home to God I April 75. Having appointed the next Lord's day for the adniiniflration of the Lord's fupper, this day,i was fet apart for folemn/^z/?//?^ and prayer^ to implore the blefiing of God upon our defign of rcTjewing co- venant with him, and with one another; and to in- treat that his divine prefence might be with us in our defigned approach to his table. The folemnity was obferved, not only by thofe who propofed to communicate, but by the whole congregation. — In the former part of the day, I en- deavoured to open to my people the nature of d fafly and to inftruft them in the duties of fuch a folem- nity.- — In the afternoon I ii^fifted upon the fpccial reafons there were for our now engaging in thefe fb- lemn exercifes ; both in regard of the need we flood' in of divine alhftance, in order to a due preparation.' for the facred ordinance; and in refpeft of the ma-' nifelf decline of God's work here, as to the efPeftuat! conviftion and converfion of fmners, there having' been few of iate deeply awakened out of a Hate of fecurity. The worfhip of God was attended with great fo- ' lemnity and reverence, with much tendernefs and jnany tears, by the truly religious : aad there was fonie ( ^ 7'5 ) fome appearar.ce of divine power upon thofe who had been av/akened lome time before. After repeated prayer and attendance upon the word of God. I led them to a folemn renewal of xYioiv bAptifnd Ctvenard, wherein they had explicitlv and publich' given up themfelves to God, the Fa- ther, Son. and Holy Ghoft, avouching him to be their God ; and at the fame time renouncing their Keathenifli vanities, their idolatrous dind. fuperfatious practices, and folemnly engaging to take the word of God for the ruk of tknr lives, proraifmg to walk together in love, to watch over themfelves, and one another: to lead lives of ferioufnefs and devotion, and to difcharge the rthtive duties incumbent upon them.. This folemn tranfartion w^as attended with much ferioufnefs; and at the fame time with the utm.ofl readinefb and chearfulnefs ; and an union and har- mony of foul, feemed to crown the whole, April 26. In tiie evening I caiechifed thofe that were dellgned to partake of the Lord's fupper the next day, upon the inititution, nature, and end of that ordinance; ar.d had abundant latisfatlion re- fpe6ling their kno\vledg^. They likewife appeared, in general, to have an afre£ling fenfe of the folem- nity of this facred ordinance, and' to be humJoied under a fcnfe of their own unwonhinefs to apprcacli to God in it; and earneilly concerned that they may be duly prepared for an attendance upon it. Their hearts were full of love one tov/ard another, and that was the frame of mind they feemed much concerned to maintain, and bring to the Lord's table with them . I adminiftered thQfacraviev.toi the Lord's fupper to ttcenty-tkrce perfons of the Indians, (the number of mn and zoomen being near equal,) divers others, to the number of five or Jix, being now^ abfent at the Forka of Delaware. The ordinance was attended with great folemnity, and with a mofh defirable tendernefs and afrection. And it was remark able, that in the performance of the ( '-'S > i' ^ thej^cmm«2ifl/ aftions, efpecially in the diftribution of the ^rtW, they feemed to he afTefted in a' moft lively manner, as if " Chrift had been" really " eru- cined before thcni.."' And the words of the inftitu- tion, when repeated and cnhirged upon, feemed to be entertained with the. fame [nil and firm belief and afi'eflionatc enagagemcnt of loul, as if the Lord Jc- fus Chrift himlcil had j^er/t)/2<^//v fpoken tothemv Having rerrcd fome time after the adminiffration of ihe/acramtnt, I walked from houfe to houfe, and converfed particularly with moft of the communicants^ and found they had been almofh univerfally refrcfh-i ed at the Lord's tabic " as with new wine." And] never did I fee hicli an appearance of Chrijlian love among any people in all my life. It was fo remarka- ble, that one might well have cried with an agreea- ble furprife, Behold how the^^ love one another I.'* Toward night 1 difcourfcd on Tit. ii. 14, and in- filled on the immediate deiign of Chrift's death, viz., *' That he might redeem his people from all iniquity." This .appeared to be a fcafon of divine power* The religious people were much refreTiied, and feem-. ed remarkably tender and affectionate, full of love^ joy, peace, and dcfires of being completely " re- deemed from all iniquity;" fo that fome of them af-j lerwards told me^ ^ they had never felt the like be- I tore." — Conviftions alfo appeared to be revived iaj many inflances j and divers perfems wereTawakened, j 'whom I had never obferved under any religious im.- pjcflions before Such was the influence which attended our affemb-. ]y, that it feemed grievous to conclude the public worfhip. And the congregation when difmiffed, al- though it was then almoft dark, appeared loth to leave the place that had been renderedyc; dear to them,., by the benefits enjoyed, while that quickening in- fluence difhilied upon them. April 28. I concluded the folcmnity with a dif?i co.urfe upon John xiv. 15. " If ye love me, keep j my commandments." At which time there appear- ed great tendernefs in the audience in general, but fpecially ( 177 ) efpecially in the comrnum cants.- how free, how engaged and affedionatc did ihe/e appear in the fer- vice of God! they fccined wiihng to have their ears bored to the door-pofls of God's houfe," and to be his fervants for ever. Obferving numbers in this excellent frame, I thought it properto improve this advanUigeous feafon, as Hezekiah did his great paj[(n>ery (2 Chron. xxxi.) in order to promote the blclfed reformation begun among them: and accordingly propofcd to them, that thr.y fhould renctucd'y enter into covenant before God, that they woidd watch over themfelves and one another. And efpecially that they would watch againft the fin of drunkemufi, (the fm that eafily befets them.) They chearfully complied with the propo- fal, and explicitly joined in that covenant : where- upon I proceeded in the moft folemn manner to call God to zmtnefs their facred engagement ; minded them of the grcatnefs of the guilt they would contra 6t in the violation of it; and that God would be a terri- ble witnefs againft thofe who fhould prefume to do fo, in the " great and notable day of the Lord." It was a feafon of amazing folemnity, and a divirie arue appeared upon the face of the whole alTembly I AfFeftionate fighs, and tears, were frequent in the audience : and I doubt not but many fdent cries' were fentup to the fountain of grace, for grace fufficicnt to thefe folemn engagements. [On Tuefday he went to Eiifabeth-Town, to at- tend the meeting of the Prefbytcry there : and feem- cd to fpend the time, while abfent from his people, in a free and comfortable (late of mind.]. Saturday, May 3. I rede from. Elifabeth-Town home to my people, at or near Cranberry ; whither they are now removed, and where, I hope, God will fettle them as a Chriftian congregation. 1 was refreflied in lifting up my heart to God, while rid- ing ; and enjoyed a thankful frame of fpirit. May 4. My people being now removed to their lands ; I this day vilited them, and preached to them from Mark iv. ^. Endeavouring to Ihew tlie reafon ther^ ( 178 ) tlicre was to fear, left many hopeful beginnings in religion, might prove abortive-, like the " feed drop- cd upon ftony places." May 5. 1 vifited tliem again, and took care of their worldly concerns, giving them dire6lions relating to tlicir bufmcis. 1 daily difcover more and more of what importance it is to their religious interefts, that they. become in- duftrious, acquainted witli the affairs of Jiujbandryy and able, in a good meafure, to raife the necefiaries of life xoitkin ihtvifdvcs ; for their prefent method of living greatly expofes tliem to temptations of various kinds. Wfcdnefday, May 7. I fpent moft of the day in writing, as uiuai. and enjoyed fome freedora in my work. 1 -was favoured with fomc comfoitable meditations, this day, and ih the evening, was in a f\^eet compofed frame of mind : pleafcd and delight- ed to leave all with God, refpefting myfelf, for time and eternity, and rcfpc£liiig the people of my charge and dear fiieijdfe .; I had no doubt but that God would take care of me, and of his own intercft among my peCfple ; and was enabled to ufc freedom in prayer^ AS a child with a tender father. Thurfday, May 8. In t]ie evening I wa3 refrcflied and enjoyed a tender melting frame in fe<;ret prayer^ wherein my ioul was drawn ou-t for the intereft of Zion, and comforted with the lively hope of the appearing of the kingdom of the great Redeemer. Thefe were fweet moments: I felt a1 molt loth to go to bed, and grieved that llebp was neceflary. How- j ever, 1 lay down with a tender reverential fear of God," fenfible that '* his favour is life," and his fmiles better than all that earth can boaftof, infinite- ly better than life itfclf. May 9. 1 preached from John v. 40. in theopeti wildernefs; the Indians having as yet no houfe fot public worfhip in this place, nor fcarce any Jhelter for themfelves. Divine truths made confiderable im-! prelTions upon the audience, and it was a feafon of folemniiy, tcndernefs, and a{fc£lion.. ( i79 } I baptized one man thi;^ day, (the conjuror and murderer mentioned before) who appears to be fi-icli a remarkable inltance of divine grace, that I cannot omit Ibme brief account of him. He lived near, and fometimes attended me in the Forks of Delaware for more than a year together; but was extremely attached to flrong drink, and feemed to be no ways reformed by the means I ufed with him. In this time he likewife murdered a young Indian, which threw him into a kind hor- ror and defpcration^ fo that he kept at a diflance from me, and refufed to hear me preach for feveral wionths together, till I had an opportunity of convcrfing freely with him, and giving him encouragement, that liis fm might be forgiven for Chrilt's fake. But that which was the worft, was his conjaraiion^ Jle was one of them who are called {)ozozoows -dim.QVirweekfung in the be- ginning ( ,8o ) beginning of Auguft in order to hear" me preach, and there continued for fevcral weeks, in the fear ion of the moft powerful awakening among the In- dians ; at which time he was more efFeftually ^- ■wakened : and then, he fays, upon his " feeling the word of God in his heart," (as he expreffes it], his fpirit of conjuration left him entirely ; that he ha(s had no more power of that nature fmce, than any other man. And he declares that he does not fo much as know how he Lrfed to ckarnt and conjure-; and that he could not do any thing of that nature if he was ever fo defirous. He continued under conviftions all the faU, and former part of the winter paft, but was not |b deeply exercifed till January ; and then the w;ord Qf God took fuch hold upon iiim, that he knew not what to do, nor where to turn. — He then told me, that when fue ufed to hear me preach from time to. time in the fall of the year, my preaching pricked his heart, but did not bring him to i'o great diflrefs, be- caufe he fLlU hoped he could do Jmnething for his own relief: but now, he faid, I drove him up into " fuch a fliarp corner," that he had no way to turn. He continued confta^itly under the heavy burden of a zcotinded fpirit, till at length he was brought intoj tne utmofl agony ofjoid. After this he was brought to a kind of calmnefs| his heavy burden was removed, and he appeared] pcrfe£lly fedate ; although he had no fure hope of falvation. I obferved him to appear rcma^ably compofed, and thereupon afked him how he did ? He replied, *Mtis done, it is done, it is all done now." I afkei^ him what he meant ? He anfwered, *' 1 can never; do any more to fave myfelf ; it is all done for ever, I can do no more."' I queried with him, whether he could not do a little more rather than to go to hell He replied, " My heart is dead, I can never help myfelf." I afked him, wliat he thought would be- come of him then ? He anfwered, I muft go to helU" ( »8' ) hell." I afkcd him, if he thought it. was right that God fhould fend him to hell ? He replied, O it is right. The devil has been in me ever fmce I was " born." 1 afked him, if he felt this when he was in fuch great diftrefs the evening before ? He anfwered. *' No, I did not then think it was right, I tlioughi God v/ould fend me to hell, and that I was iiif^u dropping into it ; but my heart (Quarrelled vAih. God, and would not fay it v/as ri^ht he (liould fend mz there. But now I know it is right, for 1 have al- ways ferved the devil, and my heart has no good- nefs in it now, but it is as bad as ever it was," 1 thought I had fcarce ever feen any perfon more e(- --fectually brought ofF from a dependence upon hi- " ovr'n endeavours for falvation. In this frame of mind he continued for feveral ' days. palTing fentence of condemnaiioii upon him- fclf, and conuantly ov/ning. that ic wo^^Id be riglit he ' fnould be damned, and that he expected this would -be his portion. And yet it was plain he had aTe- ^ cret hope of mercy, which kept him not onlv from ■ defpair, but from preffing dillrefs : fo that iniiead of ' being fad and dejecled, his very countenance appear- ' ed pieafant and agreeable. ■ It was remarkable in this fcafon that he feemea t6 "have a great love to the people of God, and nothing afrected him fo much as the thoughts of bcin,2f fepa- ' rated from them. This feeraed to be a verv drc^acad part of the hell he thought himfelf doom.cd to. -It ■ was likcv/ife remarkable, that in this fealon he \/a? moft diligent in the ufe 'of all means for hi ^ io^l falvation; although he had the cleareft vie \s- of tr.. . vijii^. cuncy of means to afford him he'D, After he had continued in this frame of mind ■more than a zocd^ while I v/as difcourfing publ-. jI-\ he feemed to have a lively view cf th.2 exccil-^nc-.- of \ Chrill. and the w.iy of f^^va^ion him. whicii t, melted him into te^^rs. an.l hllcd hi.n wiili admira- tion, comforr, and prai'fe roGod; hnce wi.ich ;ic 'ias appeared :o be an humble, dcvou% and affjc- i tionate Chriftian ; fcnous and exemplary iniiiscon- - Q ve:fcUiQn { ■ > verfatioD and behaviour, frequeiitly complairimg his barremefs, his want of fpiritual warmth, iif<", j and aclivity, and yet frequently favoured with | quickening influences. And in all rfepefts he bears !| the marks of one " created anew in Chrifl Jefus toj jp good v/orks." Kis zeal for the caufe of God was pleafing to me, wheti he v/as with me at the Forks of Delaware in February la ft. There being an old Indian at the ill place, v/ho threatened to i^-^fiVi'lc/i me and my people Avho accompanied me ; this man prefently challenged:^|k him to do his worft, telling himj that himfelf had been as great a conjurer as he, and that notwithftand" ] ing as foon as he felt that word in his heart which thefe people loved, his power of conjuring imme- diately left him.- — And fo it would you, faid he, -if iic you did but once feel it in your heart] and you have no power to hurt them, nor fb much as to touch oncj; of them. , .||pc Saturday, May lo. I rode to AUcn's-Town, to af* iiil in the adminiftration of the Lord's fupper. In| the afternoon I preached from Tit. ii, 14. God was pleafed to carry me through with fome freedom; and yet to deny me that enlargement I. longed for. In the evening my foul mourned, that I had treated fo excellent a fubjeft in fo defeftive a manner. And if my difcourfe had.met with the utmoft applaufe from ^11 the world, it would. not have given me any fa- tisfaflion: Oh, it grieved me to think, that I had; had no more holy warmth, that I had been no more melted in difcourhngof Chrift's death, >and the de-? |ul fign of it ! Afterwards, I enjoyed freedom and fer- vency in fecretand fam-ily prayer, and longed much for the prefence of God to attend his word and ordi- nances the next day. Lord's day. May 11. I aflifted in the adminiflra- lion of the Lord's fupper; but enjoyed little enlarge-;!^ ment. In the afternoon I went to the houfe of God j^i weak and fick in foul, as well as feeble in body: and longed, that the people might be edihed with divine truths^ and that an honcil fei-vent teftimony might i ( '83 ) ln•:g^lt be borne for Goi; butknev/ not how it was, poilible for 7?tf to 'armth, and tendernefs, in addreiTing my dear peo- ple, — In the intcrminion-feafon I could not bat dif- courlc to my people on the kindnefs and patience of - Chriif in /iu7i:Ln^ and kno-kiF^ at the dj:r. .n the- evcning, I v/as grieved, that I had done fo little foE God. Oh that I could be afaim of fire in the fervice- of my God ! Thurfday. May 22. In the evening I was in s frame fomewhat remarkable : I had appreliended for fcvcral days, that it was a defign of providence I f'-ould fcttk among my people ; and had in my own mind begun ro miike provificn for it: and yet -was - never quite piealed v/i'ih the thoughts of being con- f.ned to one place. . Nevertheiels i feemed to have feme freed 0!n, bccaufe the congregation was one thai God had enabled me to gather fvoni among Pagans?,. For I never could feel anv freedom to " enter iritis c:her men'i labours, and fettle where ihe go.t:>ei was preached before. God has ncv-er giver^jne any li jerty in that refpecl,. either (ince, or for foihsr vears before I began 10 -i-reach. But God having fucceed* ed my labours, and made me inrtrjrner.lal of gadier- :ng a church for .him among thefe indiansj,. 1 was rea- dy to think, itmi^iT^ be rdsdehgn to give ine a auiet fettlement. And this, conhderuig the late Avquent failure cf my fpirits. and thsn«ed I ftoodin or fo^r.c 2^ - ■ Qa. v^c„bv ( .86 ) agreeable focietyj and my great defire of enjoying conveniencies for }:rofitable Hudies, was not altoge-: ther difagreeableto me. And although I ftili want- ed to go about far and wide, in order to fpread the blelTecl gofpel among benighted fouls: yet I n-ever Had been fo willing to fettle for more than five years p.aftj as I was in the foregoing part of this week ; But now thefe thoughts fceraed to be wholly dafhed to- pieces; not by neceffity, but of choice: for it ap- peared to me, that God's dealings towards me had fitted me for a life of folitarinefs and hardPnip : it ap- peared to me I had nothing to lofe, nothing to do with earth, and confequently nothing to lofe, by a total renunciation of it: and it appeared juft right, that I (liould be deftitutc of houle and home, and many comforts, which I rejoicedtofee others of God's people enjoy. The fame time, I faw fo much of the excellency of Chrill's kin^^dom, and the inRnite de- firablenefs of its advancement in the world, that it fwallowed up all my other thoughts; and made me- willing to be a pilgrim or hermit in the wildernefs, i& my dying moment, if 1 might thereby promote thC' bleffed intei eil of tlie great Redeemer. And if. ever my foul prefented itfelf to God for his fervice, with- out any rcferve of any kind, it did fo now. The language of my thoughts (although I fpake no words) now v/as, Here I am, Lard^ fend me; fend me to ihs-. ends of the earth ; fend me to the rough, the favage Pa- ' gans of the wiiderneis ;,fend me from all that is cailedt. comfort in earth 1 fend me even to death itfelf, if.it: be but in thy fervice,. and to promote thy kingdom.'*. And at the fame time I had. as quick and lively a fenfei of the value of worldly comforts, as ever I had ; but: law them infinitely overmatched by the worth of Chrill's kingdom, and the propagation of his bleffed. gofpeh The quiet fettlement, the certain place of. abode, the tender friendfliip, which I thought 1 might be likely to enjoy, appeared as valua-ble to me,- confidercd abfolutely and in themfelves, as ever be-* fore; but confidered comparatively, they appeared;, nothing; -compared with iin enlargement of Chrifi'St kingdoiDj ( ■) kingdoDi, they vaniflied like the flars hcforc the ri- " ung fun» And the comfortable accommodations or life appeared valuable and dear to me, yet I did kir- render myfelf. foul and body, to the fervice of G&d, and promotion of Chrift's. kingdom; though it lliould- be in the lofs of them all. I was confkrained, and. yet chofe, to fay, Farewell, friends and earthly comforts, the deareft of them all, if the Lard calls for. it; adieu, adieu; I'll fpend my life, to my late ft moments, in caves and dens of the earth, if the kingdom- of Chrift may thereby be advanced." I found ex- traordinary freedom at this time in pouring out my foul to God, for his caufe ; and efpecially that his" kingdom might be extended among the Indians ; and I had aflrong hope, that God would do it. I con- tinued VvTeftling with God in prayer for my dear little fiOckhere; and more efpecially for the Indians elfe- Vv'here; as well as for dear friends in one place and another ;" till it was bed-tirae,and I fea^red 1 fhould hin-, •ier the family. But Oh, with what relu£lanGy did- I find myfelf obliged to confume time in fleep ! I, longed to be disajlame of jtre, continually glowing ia. the divine fervice, preaching and building up Chrifi's^ kingdom, to my lateft, my dying moment. . Friday, May 23. In the morning I was in th^ fame frame of mind, as in the evening before,. The glory of Chrift's kingdom fo much outfhone the plea-* fure of earthly accommodations and enjoyments, that they appeared comparatively nothing, though in themfelves good and defirable. My foul was m.clted in fecret meditation and prayer, and I found myfelf ; divorced from any part in this world ; fo that iri I thofe affairs that feeraed of the greateft importance, in the prefent life, and thofe wherein the tender powers of the mind are moft fenfibly touched, I could only fay, " The v/ill of the Lord be done.'* Juft the fame that I felt the evening before. 1 felt now the fame freedom in prayer for the people of my charge, for the propagation of the gofpel among the Indians, and for the enlargement of Zion in general, ^nd Jrsy dear friends in particular; and longed ta hura burn out in Cde coritinued, flame for Gocl. In tlit. Cii'sning I was viiited by my brother^ John Braincrd; the finl vifit I have received from any near relative Imce 1 h^ive been a miffionary, Blefled be God. Jf ; ever i filled up a day with (ludies and davotion, I | was enabled to fill up this day. ' , .Lord's day, May 25, , I difcourfed both parts oT ] the day from John xiij, 44-^48. . There was fome | degree of divine power attending the word of Godi j Sundry wept and appeared coiifiderably affefted r : and one who had long been under fpiritual trouble^ | obtained clearncfs and 'comfort, and appeared to | •*-rejoice in God her Saviour."^ l' , I have reafon to hope, that God has lately brought j iioine to hirtifelf fundry fouls who had long been ■ zander fpiritual trouble : tho* there have been few inilances of .perfons lately awakend out of a ftate of fec4arity. Andthofe comforted of late, feem to be brought in, in a more Jilent way, neither their con^ cern nor confolation being f(:>..povvcrfLd and reviarkd' Me, as appeared am.ong thoie; wrought upon in the laegmning, ; June 6. I difcourfed to= my people from part o? If!, iiii.- — ~-The, divine py.ifence appeared to be ai^ongft us. Divers perfons were much melted and refrefhed y and one m^n in particular, ,wa3 noviT brought to fee and feel, iti a very lively manner, fhe impollib'iity o£ his doing any thing to , help him- feif) or to bring him into the favour of God by his te^rs, prayers J arjd other religious performances. - Saturday, June 7. J rode to Freehold to affift Ml** Tenn.ent in the adinin ill ration of the Lord's fuppe^. In the afternoon I preached from Ffcrl. Ixxiii 28, God gave me iome freedom and warmth in. my dif* €ourfe. i and .1 truft, his prefence ,v>/as in the alfembly^ I v/as,comfo' tably_ corripofed, and enjoyed a thank- ful frame- of fpirit ; and my foul was grieved , that I could not render fomething to God tor iiis benefits beftowcd, O, that 1 could f\vaiiov/cd. up in bis ( ) Lord^s day, June 8. I fpent much time, in the nniorning, in fecret duties; but between hope and fear, refpefting the enjoyment of God in the bufmefs of the day. i was agreeably entertained, in the forenoon, by a difcourfe from Mr. Tennent, and , felt melted and refrelhed. In th« feafon of com- munion, I enjoyed fome comfort ; and efpecially in ferving one of the tables, Bleffed be the Lord, it was a time of rcJreJJiin^ to me, and I truft to many ethers. A number of my dear people fat down by tljemfclves at the laft table; at which time God- feemed to be in the midft of them. And the- th oughts of what God had done among them wei-e- refrefning and m.elting to me. In the afternoon, Gcd enabled me to preach with uncommon free- dom, from 2 Cor. v. 20. Through the great good- refs of God, I was favoured with a conftant flow of' matter, and proper expreiTions, In the evening, I could not but rejoice in God, and blefs him for the n:anifcilations of grace in the day paft.. Oh it was a f-.vect and folcmn day a feafon of comfort to the godly, and of awakeiiing to other fouls. Monday, June 9, I preached the concluding fer* men from Gen. v. 24. " And Enoch walked with. God." God gave me enlargement and fervency ia- my difcourfe ; fo that 1 was enabled to fpeak. with plainnefsand power. Praifed be the Lord, it was a fweet mieeting, a defirabie affembly. I found my ftrenth renewed, and lengthened out, even to a. wonder; fo that I felt much ftronger at the con- clufion, than in the beginning. 1 have great reafon to bltrfs God for this folemnity, wherein I have found aiTiftance in addrefTmg others, and fwcetnefs in my own foul. To-day a confiderable number of my people met together early in a retired place in the zvoods^ and pray- ed, fang, and converfed of divine things ; and were fcen by fome of the white people, to be affe£led and engaged ; and divers of them in tears. Afterwards 'they attended the concluding exercifes . of the facrgtmentai folemnity, a^id (hen returned home. iras Mome, " rejoicing for all the gcrodnefs of God*' they bad feen and felt ; fo that this appeared to be a pro- fitable, as-wellas a comfortable feafon to many of my | congregation.. li Friday, June 13,-: 1 came away fromthe meetyiilajf' ing of ttie Indians, this diy, rejoicing, and blelTingi J'!' God for his grace manifefted at this feafon» ,-W Thef-im.e,a*i.y i baptized ^ve perfons, three adultsar.(r;||l''^^ two Ghildrcn, .Oneof thefe was thc.v ery. aged wovian o£ 1 P whom I gave anaccountin my }-ournalo{ Dcembcr 26.; ' F^' She now gave me a very pun 0;ua], rational, and fa--;,"' nsfaftory account of the remarkabie change {he^ ex«; perienced fonie months aher the beginning of }i€r?P concern. And although fhe was become fo childifh; ll''* through old agr, that 1 couid do nothing in a' way of queflioning with hei j yet, Vv'hen I let her alone to go on with her. ovxfn ftory, fhecould give a very dif- tinft relation of the many and various exercifes of- foul fne had experienced; fo deep were the impref- fions left upon her mind by that influence flie had been under! And I have great i;eafon to hope, fhst is hriic a7:efi in, her. old age, (he being, .1 prefume^^ upwards cifourfcore Saturday, June 1 4. I rode to Kingflon, to the Rev., Mr. V/ales in the adminillration of thesr' Lord's fupper. , In th.e.-. afternoon 1 preached ; butr alraoft fainrGd in the pulpit: yet God ftrengthenedr' me when I v/as juO: gone, and enabled me- to fpealq. his word with freedom, fervency, and application* fo the confcicnce. And praifed be the Lord; oufr;.- of -weaknefs I was m.ade flrong/' I enjoyed fv/eet*i nefs, in and. after public worflrp: but was ex?reme-i' ly iired, Oh^- how many ?ire the mercies of th<3' Lord ! *• To them that have no might, he increa-- fetn ilrcngth." ' ; Lorci'V day, June 15. I was in a deic£l:ed fpirit^ Icfs frame, that i eould not hold u;j my head, myth feok: any body in the face. Yet I admin iilered th<3i Lord't fappcr at Mr. Wales's deure : and found my*" £eif in. a good meafure rehcved of. my prcfilng load, r whf^a. lum'tiQ toalk a bkiiin^ on the. elements ^ hcra- - , .. . - ^^^^ occi c rnc enlargement, and ?. tender aftecticnarc ienfe of fpintual things: fo that 'r w-ds a reaion of comfortj to ine, and I truft. more io to othe-/^. In • 'ic afternGon I preached to a vaft mukituQe from Rev. xxii, 17. God helped me to offer a teftimony forhlmfelf, and to leave f.nners inexcufeable in ne- :.rt:nr his !;race, I v.- a 3 enabled^to fpcak v/ith fl:f:< :fc:or:i. H-itiicy. and clearneis, as commc^nc^cd :he :--::cntion of t'le great. I 'A'as extreir.ely tired, in the e-.-enin,T, but enjoyed compofare and fwcetnef?. Mor.day. June 16. I preached again ; a.nd God helped n:e a.T.azingly; To that this v/as a refreHiinr :fealbn to nry foul and others. For ever bleiTed be God for help afforded at this time, v/hen my body 'vvas fo weak, and there .was-fo large an affembly to hear. Ji-^.e 19. I vidted mv people with tv.-o of the 'Rc» ■verend correipondents ; I fpent fome ii:ne in con\'er° "fation with them upon fpintual things ; and took care of their vrorldly concerns. This day makes up a complete year from the firft "time of my preaching to thefe Indians in New-Jer- fey. What ajirazing things has God wrought in this time for thefe poor people ! What a furpriling change appears in their tem.pers and behaviour ! Kov/ are favage Pagans iransfcrmed into affectionatej and humble Chnftians I and their drunken rnd Pagan howlings. turned into ferven* prayers aiid praifes to 'God! They " who were fometimes darknef'^. are nev/ become l"ght in the Lord.'' May tney v.-ilk as children of the light, and of the day. And no v.- to him that is of power to ffablifli :hem according to the gofpel. and tiic preaching ox Ch'-iff To Gcd ■cnly wife, be glory, through Jei..5 Chnit} forever and ever ! Amen."' _ Before I conclude. I v.'ould m.ake a fev,- yr-: J r^- marks u-jon what to me appears v/crihy ci :-.::icc. And. Jlrji, I cannot but take notice ti::\L i have everhncemy hr'.T coming amorg tiieie In:iiar.s. been favoured with that aiiiffance. wihch ; to me} is ;v:- cv?/;7:? !j in preaching Cknji c-^v-^i.i^ ai^d making him the ( ) tiis ccrlrc and 7nark to which all my dircourfes wcr« ! directed. , "I' It was fne.principal fcope of aii my difcourfes foi feverai months, (after having taught the people fomeJ ^' thing of the being and perfeftions of God, his crea lion of man in a flate of re£litude and happinefs, auc 't the obligations mankind were thence under to lov< and honour him,) to lead them into an acquaintanc( tl with their deplorable (late by nature : their inabilitj: c to deliver themfelves from it ; the utter infufhcienc) !i of any external reformation, or of any religious per t formances, to bring them into the favour of God { And thence to ftiew them their abfolute need o j Chriil to fave them from the mifery of the fall^i 1 ftate.- To open his ali-fufHciency and wiUingnef ' to lave the chief of fmners. Thcf mnefs and ncht \ of his grace, propofed " without money, and with out price.''-— And thereupon to prefs them zvithout dc lay to betake themfelves to him, under a fenfe of thei: n^ifery and undone eflate, for relief and everladin^ ; -faivation.— — And to fhew them the abundant en couragement the gofpel propofes to, perilhing, help v Icfs tinners, To to do. ^ And I have ofeen remarked, that whatever fub ii je£l: I have been upon, after having fpent timt fufhcient to explain the truths contained therein .J I have been naturaUy and eafdy led to Chrift a ! ihcfubf.ance of every one. If I treated on the bein| , ^■nA glorious perfe£lions of God, I was thence .'• rc^/y Ted to difcourfe of Chrift as the only " wayU ; the Father."- — If! attempted to open the mifcry Oi our fallen flate, it was natural from thence to fhe'v^i j the necelTity of Chrifl to undertake for us, to atop(j '! for our hns, and to redeem us from the power o: ' them. — If I taught the commands of God, andfhew j '] cd our violation of them, this brought me in t"h{ . inofleafy way, to fpeak of, the Lord Jefus Chriftja; ^ ©ne who had magnified the law" we had brokenj j and who was becoaie the end oFit^for righteoufljil to every one that behevcs.^' And never did ] .', fmd fo rr.uch freedom and afiiflance in making all '.he various lines of my"difccuiles meet together, and cen-jjj,' ( ^93 ) ret in Chrift, as I have frequently done among theie Indians. 1 have frequently been enabled to reprefent the di- vine gloiy, the infinite precioufnefs and tranfcendent lovelinefs of the great Redeemer: the fuitablenefs of his perfon and purchafe to fupply the wants, and an- iwer the utmoft dehres of immortal fouls. — To opeil the infinite riches of his grace, and the wonderful en- couragement propofed in the gofpel to unworthy, helplefs fmners. — To call, invite, and befeech them to come and give up themfelves to him, and be re- conciled to God through him. — To expoftulate with them refpefting their negleft of one fo infinitely love- ly, a^id freely offered. — And this in Jack a manner, with fuch freedom, pertinency, pathos, and applica- tion to the confcier.ee. as I never could have made myfelf mailer of by the mo ft aihduous application. And have often at fuch feafons been furprilingly help- ed in adapting my difcourfes to the capacities of my people, and bringing them down into fach eafy, vul- gar, and familiar methods of expreffion, as has ren- dered them intelligible even to Pagans. Secondly^ It is worthy of remark, that numbers of tbefe people are brought to a ftri£l compliance with the rules of morality and J'obriety, and to a confcientious performance of the external duties of Chriftianity : without theirhaving them frequently inculcated upon them, and the contrary vices particularly expofed. God was pleafed to give the grand gofpel truths fuch a po\verful influence upon their minds, that their lives were quickly reformed, without my fpending time in repeated harangues upon external duties. There was indeed no room for any difcourfes butthofe that refpefted th.Q. ejfentials of religion, and the experimentd knowledge of divine things, while there were fo ma- ny inquiring daily, not how they fhould regulate their external condu6l ; but how they fhould efcape from the wrath to come — obtain an effecliial change of hearty — get an intereft in Chrift, — and come to the enjoyment of eternal bleflcdnefs. — So ih^i my great Zi'ork ftillwasto lead them into a further view of their R total ( ID 4 ) total depravity ; to fhcw that there was no manner ei gooclneii- in them : no good dirpofit ions nor defircs ; no love to God, nor delight in his commands ; but, on the contvaiy, hatred, enmity, and all manner of wickedncfs; — And-at the fame time to open to them the glorious remedy provided in Chrift for helplefs perifhing fmners, and offered freely to thofe who have nogoodnefs of their Ovvn, no " works of rigli- teoufnefs," to recommend them to God. When thefe truths Vv-ere felt at heart, there was no vice unreformed, — no external duty neglefted. ^ Drunkennefs, the darling vice, -was broken off, and/ fcarce an inilance of it known for months together. The practice of hufiands iind wives in putting away each other, and takingothers in their Read, was quick- ly reformed. The (ame might he faid of all other vicious praftices. The reformation was general;; and all fpringing from the intemaJ inRueucc of divine truths upon their hearts ; not bccaufe they had heard thefe vices particularly expofed, and repeatedly fpo- kcn agalnft. So that happy experience, as well as the word of God, and the example of Chrift and his apoflles, have taught me, that tlic preaching, which is beft fuited to awaken in mankind a lively apprehenfion of their d<:pravity and mlfery, — to excite them ear- neftly to feck alter a change of heart, and to Jly f&r ^ r&Jn^e \G Q\\r\\\, s.^ the odIv hope Jet before than., is like to bq mod fucajf III toward the reformation of their cxtei nal condu£f ., — I have found that clofe addreffes and folcmn applications of divine truth to the con- fcicnce, fhrike'death to the root of all vice ; while -{moQth and plaufible harangues upon }7ioral virtues and external duties^ at bell: do no more than lop off the branches of corruption. I do ncitjintend, by what I have obfcrved, to re- prefent the preaching of ^acm/zilv, and prclfing perfons . to the dx;it'r?za/ performance of duty, to be unneceiTary and ufelcfs at any tivie ; and efpecially at times when there is lefs of divine power attending the means of rrracc,— It is doubtlefs among the things that ought to . ( ^^95 ) lo- be done," w?xile "others arc not to 'be left'' u: ^ dene."-— But what I principally defign is to difeovcr a plain matter of faft, viz. That the external compli- ance with the rules of Chrirtianity, appearing among, my people, are not the effect of any vi^rtly rational view of the beauty oi morality, but of the internal in- fluence that divine truths have had upon their hearts. Thirdly, It is remarkable, that God has fo continu- ed and renewed the Tnowers of his grace : So quick- ly fet up his kingdom among thefe people; and fo hniled upon them in relation to their acqiurement of knowledge,- both divine and human. It is now near a year Inice the beginning of this gracious outpour- ing of the divine Spirit among then) : and although it has often feemed to dccli?ie for fome fhort time, yet the iliower was n newed, and the work of grace revived again: fothat a divine influence feems iliil to attend ihe means of grace, in a greater orlefs de- gree; whe eby religious perfons are refreflied,rtrength- ened, aid eflubliihed, — convitlions revi\-ed and - prom>oted in many inftanceSj. — and. fome newly awa- kened from time to time. Ahhough it muft' be ac- knowledged, that for fome time paft. there has ap-. peared a moie manifeft deciiiiC of this work. \ qi \ (blefledbe God) there is ftill an .'•ppearance of divine ; power, a defirable degree of tcndernefs and devotion in our ail'emblies. And as God has continued the Tnowers of his grace among this people ; fo he has with w?. zomuion quick ^ nijs fet up his vinble kingdom in the midfl of them. I have now baptized, hncc the conclufion of my laft Journal, thirty perfons, fif:e.m adult,., and hfteen phUdren.. W hich added to the number there men- tioned, makes feventy-f.ven perfons; whereof thirty- eight are adults, and thirry-nine children : and all within the fpace of eleven months pad. — And have baptized no adults, but fuch as appe ared to have a work ^ of grace in their hearts : 1 mean fach as have iiad the experience not only of the awakening, but of the re- newing and comforting influences of the divine Spirit; R 2 Much. ( '95 ) Much of the Goodncfs of God has appeared in rc^'^ lation to their acquirement of knowledge, both irr religion and in common life. There has been awon^. derful thirft after Chrijlian knowledge among them, and an eager defire of being inftnifted. This has promot-^ ed them to afk many pertinent as well as importanf queflions. Many of the doftrines I have delivered^ they have queried with me about, in order to gain Furtker light into them : and have from time to time manifefted a good underftanding of them, by their anfwcrs to the queftions propofed. They have likewife taken pains, and appeared re- markably apt in learning to fmg Pfalms, and are now able to hng with a good degree of decency in the worlhip of God. They have alfo acquired a confiderable degree of rifeful knowledge in the affairs of common life ; fo that they now appear like rational cicdLXurcs, fit for . -human fociety, free from that favage roughnefsandbru- tifli ftupidity, which rendered them very difagreea- ble in thf^ir Pagan ftate. And as they are defirous of inftruftion, and furpri- - iingly apt in the reception of it, lb divine providence^ has fmiled upon them in regard proper tneavs in or- der to it. The attempts made for a fchool dimong them have fucceeded, and a kind providence has fent them a Jchool-majicr ^ of whom I may juftly fay, I know of " no man like-minded^ who will naturally care: for their ftate." He has generally thirty or thirty-five children iiS. his fchool : and when he kept an evening fchool (as he did while the length of the evenings would admit of it) he had fifteen or twenty people, married and fingle. The children learn with furp rifmg readine fs ; fo that their mafitr tells me, he never had an Engliill fchool that learned, in general, near fo faft. There were not above two in thirty, although fome of them were very fmall, but what learned to know all the letters in the alphabet diftinftly, within three days aft^r his entrance upon his burmefs; and divers in that fjjace learned to ;^e't7conliderabIy ; and fome oF theiiij lince the beginning of February !aft (at which time the fchool was fet up) have learned fo iriuch, that they are able to -read in a PfalUr or Ttfiavamt without fpelling. They are inftrafted in the duty of" iecret prayer, and mofl of them conftantly attend it night and morn- ing, and are very careful to inform ineir mailer it they apprehend any of their little fchooi-mates ne- gle6l that religious exerci{e. Fourthly, It is worthy to be noted, that amidfi Jo great a work of conviftion, — fo much concern and religious affeftion, there has been no prevakncy, nor indeed any confiderabie appearance jaffi religion^ {li- I may fo term it) or heats of injagination, intemp^r rate zeal, and fpirituai pride: which corrupt mix^- tures too oftend attend the revival of religion ; andj that there have been fo very few inftances of fean- dalous behaviour among thofe who have appeared ferious. The religious concern that pe-rfonsbave beeil - under, has generally been rational and ju/t". arifing from a Jerje of their fins, and the divine difpleafure on the account of them : as well as their utter inabi- lity, to deliver themfelves from the mifery they felt • and feared. — And it is remarkable, although the con- cern of many perfons has been very great and pref- fing, yet I have never feen any thing , like defpair at- - tending it in any one inflance : wTience it is appa- rent, there is not that danger of perfons being driven into defpair under Jpiritual trouble, (unlcfs in cafes of melancholy,) that the world in general is ready to imagine. I'he cmnjort perfons have obtained after their dif- trelTes, has likewife in g^^neral appeared folid. well grounded, and fcriptural ; arifing from a fpirituai and fupernatural illurriuiation of mind, — a view of di- vine things as they are,- — a complacency of foul in the ' divine perfe£lions, — and a peculiar fatisfaftion in the ^ay ofjalvatian by free grace in the great Redeemer. Their joys have feemed to xih from a variety of . R 3 views ( ^9^ ) views and conGderations of divine things, although for fubftance the fame. Some have at firft appeared to rejoice efpecially in the zvifdom of God, discovered in the way of falvation by Chriflj it then appearing to them " a new and living way," a way they had never thought, nor had any juft conception of, until opened to them by the Jpecial influence of the divine fpirit. And fome of them, upon a lively Jpiritual view of this way of falva- tion, have wondered at their paft folly in feeking:. falvation other ways, and have admired that they never faw this way of falvation before, which now sippeared fo plain and eafy. Others have had a more general view of the beauty and excellency of Chrift, and hare had their fouls delighted with an apprehenfion of his glory, as uri^ fpeakablyexceeding^z/ttheyhadeverconceived before; yet"without fingling out (as it were) any one of the divine perfeftions in particular; fo that although their comforts have feemed to arife from a variety of x'iew^s of divine glories, ftill they were Jpirituai and fupernatural views of them. What the Indians notions of God are, in their Pa- gan ftate, is hard, precifely to determine. 1 have laken much pains to inquire of my Chriftian people, whether they, before their acquaintance with Chrif- tianity, imagined whether there was a plurality of great invifible powers, or whether they fuppofed but one fuch being, and worfhipped him in a variety of fhapes : but cannot learn any thing of them fo diftinft as to be fully fatisfying upo-n the point," Their notions in that State were fo prodigioufly dark- and confufed, that they feemed not to know what they thought themfelvcs. But fo far as I can learn^ they had a notion of a plurality of invifible deitief,. and paid fome kind of homage to them promifcoufly, under a great variety of fl^apes. And it is certain, thofe who yet remain Pagans pay fome kind of fu- perftitious reverence to beafls, birds, fifhes, and even reptiles ; that is, fome to one kind of animal, ^nd fome to another. They do not indeed fuppofe a divine ( ^99 ; divine power ijfential to thcfe creatures, but that fome- invifible beings ,1 cannot learn that it is ahvays oni fach being only, but divers ) communicate to thefe animals a great pozi'cr, either one or other of them, (juft as it happens) and fo make thefe. creatures the immediate authors of good to certain perfoiis. Whence fuch a creature becomes facred to the per- fons to whom he is fuppofed to be the immediate author of good, andthrough him they rauftworfhip the invifibie powers, though to others he is no more than anc'her creature. And perhaps another ani- mal is looked upon to be the immediate author of sood to anothfTj and confequently he muft worfhip the invifibie powers in that animal. And I have known 3 Pagan bum fine tobacco for incenfe. in order to appeafe the anger of that invifibie power i/^'hich he fuppofed prefided oyqx rattk-fnakes, becaufe one of thefe animals was killed by another Indian near his houfe. But I find, that in antient times, before the com- ing of the white people, fome fuppofed there was Q-ur invifibie powers, who prefided over the four rorners of the earth. Others imagined the fun to be :he only deity, and that all things were made by him.: Dtbers at the fame time having a confufed notion of i certain body or fountain of deity, fome what like the arama mundi. fo frequently mentioned by the more learned antient Heathens, diffufing itfelf to various animals, and even to inanimate things, mak- ing them the immediate authors of good to certain perfons. But after the coming of the white people, ihey feemed to fuppofe there were three deities, and :hree only, becaufe they faw people of three diffe- rent kinds of complexion, viz, Englifh, Negroes, and chemfelves. It is a notion pretty generally prevailing among them, that it was rot the fanie Gcd made them, who made us : but that they ^vere made afeer the white people : which further fhews, that they imagine a pluralitv of divine powers, And I fancy they fup- .pofe their God gained fome fpecial fkiU by feeing the I - white ( '200 ) wBite people niade, and fo made them Letter : for it is certain they look upon themfelves, and their me- | thods of living, (which, they fay, their God ex- 1| prefsly prcfcribed), as vaftly preferable to the white people, and their methods. And hence they will i frequently fit and laugh at them, as being good for p^j nothing but to fatigue themfelves with hard labour-; while they enjoy the fatisfaftion of ftretching them' felves on the ground, and fleeping as much as they pleafe; and have no other trouble than now and then to chafe the deer. Hence, by the way, many of them look upon it as difgracefal for them to become Chriftians, as it would be efteemed among Chrifti- ans to become a Pagan : and though they fuppofe our religion will do well enough for us, becaufe prefcribed by our God, yet it is no ways proper for them, becaufe not of the fame make and original. They fecm to have fome confufed notion of a fu- ture flate, and many of them imagine that the chi- dmng^ [i. e. the fhadow), or what furvives the body, will at death go fouthward^ and in an unknown but curious place, will enjoy fome kind of happinefj, fuch as hunting, feafling, dancing. And what they fuppofe will contribute much to their happinefs in thatftateis, that they fhall never be weary of thofe entertainments. It feems by this notion of their go* 3ng^M^A2t;<2rd to obtain happinefs, as if they had their courfe into thefe parts from fome very cold climate, and found the further they went fouthzoard the more comfortable they were; and thence concluded, that perfed felicity was to be found further towards the fame point. They feem to have fome faint notion o^retvards and^ puni/Iiments, or ditleail happinefs and wzz/^ry in a future ftate. than is, fome that 1 have converfed with, tho' others feem to know no fuch thing, Thofe that fjppofe this, imagine that moft will be happy, and thofe that are not fo, will be punifhed- only with privation, being excluded the walls of that good world' v/here happy, fouls fhall dwell. Thefe ( 201 ) Thefe rewards ^nd puniflimer.t: they fuppoie to lepend entirely upon their conduct \\-ith relation to he-duties of iht/icond table, ?. c. their - behaviour to- wards mankind, and not have any reference to my thing ihat relatf.s ta God. I once confulied a -ery ancient, but intelligent Indian upon this point, ■v-hetherthe Indians of old times had fuppofed there A'as any thing of the man that \«fot3la furvivc the 3Cdy He replied. Yes. I aiked hirn, where they uppofed its abode would be - He replied, " It would ^o iouthward." I afke.d him further, whether it \-ou1q be happ\' there?. He aniwered. afrer lom.e. .'onfiderable paufe. that the iouls of g-'cd folk: vould be happv. and the foul.i. of bad folks mdfer- ible.'' I then aiked ihim. whodie called ^-ii'/j/^j- .? id:s anlvrcr v.'as. Tnofe Avho lie, fteah q jarrel with heir neighbour'^, are unkind to their friends, and !fpecially to aged parents., and, in a word, are a Dl^.gue to m.ankina.'^ Thefe were his t::a fcihs s but not a word was fai-d of their ne^ject of divine wor- nip. and their badnefs in that refpect. They have mdeedfome kind ofworfliip. are fre-. |uently offering JacrAccs to fome fuppofed invifiWe" powers, and are very ready to impute their calami- :ies in \Yv^ prtjinz world, t© the negleft of thefe fa- rriHces ; but there is no appearance of reverence and Jevotion in the homage they pay them; and what ihey do of this nature, feems to be done only to ap- Deafe the anger of their deities, to engage them to do hem no hurt, or at m-ofi. only to invite thefe _pca'drj o fucceedthem. in thofe enterprifes they are engaged n, So that in offering thefe f^d re- turned hoirte \7ith more health than I weii^ out: al- though mv linen was wMn^;in;T wet upon me. from a. little after ten in the morning, "iill paft five in the afternoon. iMy f:iriis alfo were coiifiderably re- frefhed : and rw 1 v ; : ,;d hope, tiiat 1 had •through grace ; ,:: -'^a.., .ling ih)r G 3:k In the : evening i • out. and eniovcci a i>''.'jet leaion in . fecret ur?'- iU praiie. But Oh. I lound the truth -.of the Pi...dmift"s words, - i'vly goodncfs extendctli ;not to thee!" I could not riiakc any returns to God; I longed to ii\"e oni^■ to nuii, and to be in tune 1 or his priuic and Icivice :or ever. 0;i, for S frirituaUtv ( ) fpirituality and holy fervency, thzt 1 might Jpend and \ ■ be /pent for God to my lateft moment ! j jit Tuefday, July i. In the afternoon I vifited and j ff, preached to my people, from Heb. ix. 27. on Oc- p in cafion of lome perfons lying at the point of death, ! d in my congregation. God gave me affiftance; and w his M^ord made an impreflion upon the audience arl a general. jl f| [On Wedncifday he went to Newark, to a meet- | ..; ing of the Prclhylery. The remaining part of the ,1 4' week he fpent there, and at Elizabeth-Town. ^ ,1 Monday, July 7. My fpirits were, confiderably yefrefted. There is no comfort, I find, in any en- | i joymeiit, without enjoying God, and being engaged, i in his fervice. In the evening I had the moft a- \ greeable converfation that ever 1 remember in all my i life, ypon God's being a// all, and all enjoyments' '• being juft that to us which God makes them, and more. It is good to begin and end with God. ^ Saturday, July 12. This day was fj)ent in fafting | and prayer by my congregation, as preparatory to the facrament. I difcourfed, both parts of the; day, from Rom. iv. 25. "Who was delivered for our offences," <^c. . God gave me affiflance in my dif- courfes, and divine power attended the word ; fo that this was an agreeable feafon. Afterwards 1 led them to a folemn renewal of their covenant, and frefn dedication of themfeives to God. This was.a feafon both of folemnity and fweetnefs, and Gad feemed to be " in the midft of us." Lord's day, July 13. in the forenoon I difcourfed OvAhe bread of life, from John vi. 3,5. .God gave me airillance; and there appeared feme tender . affe£lioja in the affembiy. I adminiftered the facrament of the Lord's fupper to thirty-one perfons of the Indians* |lj God feemed to be prelent in this ordinance; the jl communicants were fweetly refrcfiied. Oh, how || they melted, even when the elements were firil: un- | covered ! There was fcarcely a diy eye among them, 'jjj when I took off the lineji, and Hicwed them tae I) - fymbols of Chriji's broken /t;^',-— -^Having refted a I ( 207. ) little, after the adrniniftration of the facrament, I vi- fited the communicants, and found them generally in a fweet loving frame. In the afternoon I difcoarf- ed upon coming ta Chrifi, and the fadsfaciion of thofe who do fo. This was likewife an agreeable feafon, a feafon of niuch rendernefs, and I returned home much fpent, yet rejoicing in the goodnefs of God. Monday, July 14. I difcourfed from Pfdl. cxix. ig6. " I have fworn, and I will perform it," &c. There appeared to be a powerful inrluence on the af- fembly. and confiderable melting under the word. Afterwar\vn- v.-' rrc it is iettlcd hy the wiute peo; Ic, he't . L.' - v.^: > inh.ihifed by 'the Indians; and \o y^, n;.^ _ \ ;p iv- viver t._ the Indian habitations ; \c\ c.^'i-. , - '--swasm cn far- ther about, - yet herecy he- .:.oid.a the hugs nioan- iains and hideous wildevne-s^ wnich in time pad he : 2io' ) had found to be extremely fatigu'ing. He Todi- ihl% week . as far as Charleftowrj, a place of iha* name about thirty miles weflv/?a'd of Philacciphia ; where lie arrived on Fridays and in his way hither, w^s for the Tiioir pan m a conipofed co:T^forr.abIe i1:a'.e of mind.] Safiirday.' Augufi: 16. , [At Charleftov/n.'] It be- ing a clay kept by the people of the place where I DOW was, as preparatory to the celebration of the Lord's Tapper. I tarried, heard Mr. Treat preach :. and then preached myfelf. God gave me fome free-- doni, and helped me to difcourfe v/ith warmth, and application, to the confcience. Afterwards I was- refreflred in fpirit, though much tired ; and fpent the^ evening agreeably in prayer, and Chriftian con- verfation. Monday, Auguft 18. I rode on my way towards Paxion, upon Sufquahannah-river, but felt my fpi- rits fink, towards night. Tuefday, Auguft 19. I rode forward ftill ; and ati night lodged by the fide of Sufquahannah. Wednefday, Augufl: 20. Having lain in a cold fweat all night, I coughed much bloody matter this morning ; but what gave me encouragement, was, L had a fecret hope that I might fpeedily get a difraif- fion from earth, and all its forrows. I rode this day to one Chambers's, upon Sufquahannah, and there- lodged, but was much aiflifted, in the evening, with an ungodly crew, drinking andfwearing. Oh, wliat- a hell would it be, to be numbered with the ungodly f Thurfday, Auguft2i. I rode up the river about: fifteen miles, and there lodged, in a family that ap- peared quite deflitute of God. I laboured to dif- oourfe with the man about the life of religion, but found him very artful in evading it. Oh, what a death it is to fome, to hear of the things of God ! Friday, Augufl 22. I continued my couife up the river: ray people now being wiih me, who before vve'C parted from me; travelled above all the Eng- f ih lettlements 3 at night, lodged in the open woods, and ( 211 ) a^id flept with more comfort, than while among an '.■ngodiy coaipany of white people. Lord's day, Augufh 24, Towards noon I vifited feme of the Delawares,- and. difcourfed with them aboj.' Lhririianity.. In th^ afternocn I difcourfed to the A7-'<.^, and others, upon divine things, v.'hofeem-- ed difpofed to he'ar». I fluent moft of the day in thefe exercifes. In the evening. I enjoyed lome corniort- and fatisfaCt:ori : efpecially in fecret praper ; this du- ly was made [q agreeable to me, that I loved to walk- abroad and repeatedly engage in it. Mond iy, Augufh 25. J fent out my people to talk with tne Indians, and: contract a familiariry Vvdtii tliem. Some good Teemed to be done by their vifit this day, and divers appeared willing to hcc.rken to Chrifiianity, Tuelday, Auguit 26. About noon I difcourfed to a confiderable number of Indians : I was enabled to ■fpeak with much plainnefs. warmth, and pcwer,- The diicourfe had impreffion upon fome, and rn^de them appear very ferious. Wednefday, Auguft- 27, There having been a thick fmoak, in the houfe where I lodged, I v/as this morning difkreffed with pains in niy head and neck. In the morning the fmoak was ftiil the lame : and a- cold eafberly ftorm gathering, I could neither live- wi:hin doors nor without any long time together; I was pierced with the rawnefs of the air abroad, in the houfe diitreffed with the fmoak, I this day lived in great diftrefs, and had not health enough to do any thing to purpofe, Thurfday, Auguft 28. I was under great concern- of mind. I was vinted by fome who defired to hear me preach :. and difcourfed to them in the afternoon, with fome fervency, and laboured to perfuade them to turn to God. I fcarce ever faw more clearly, that it is God's work to convert fouls, I knew I could not. touch them, i faw I could only fpeak to dry bona, but could give them no fenfe of what I. fiud. My eyes were up to God for help : I could fay, the wcrk was Friday^- ■( 2»2 ) Fnday, Auguh 29. I travelled to Xht Dclawares found few at home : felt poorly, but was able (ofpenc Ibme time alone in readingGoct's word and in pra) er Lord's day, Auguft 31. I fpake the word of God to fome few of the Sufquahanriah Indians. In th^ afternoon, I felt very weak and feeble. Oh, how;i: heavy is my work, v/hen faith cannot take hold of an ' ahiigtity arm^ for the performance of it. Monday, September 1 . I fet out on a journey to- wards a place called The great ijland^ about fifty milesi diflant from; Shaumoking, in thenorth wefternbranch! of Sufquahannah, At niglit 1 lodged, in the woods, I. was er^eecding feeble, tiiis day, and fwcat much tiie iiight following, Tuefday, September 2. I rod^ forwards but no fa Iter than my people went on foot. I was fo feeble and faint,- that 1 feared itwouldkill me to lie out in the open air ; and fome of our company being part- ed from us, fo that v/e had^iOw no axe with us, I. had no -way but to clinib into a young pine-tree, and with my knife to lop the branches, ar.d fo made a lliel-ter from the dew^ I fweat much in the night, fo that my linen was almofc wringing wet all night. I fcaree ever was more weak and weary than this even- ^ing. Wedncfday, Septem.ber 3. I rede to -Delawaref town; and found divers dnnking ai^d drunken. i> difcourfed with feme of the Indians about Chrifliani-? ty ; obferved my interpreter much engaged in his', work ; fome fevv' pcif ns feenied to hear v/iih great? rarneftnefs. About noon 1 rode to a fmall town of Shauwaunoes. about eight miles, -diffant ; fpent an- hour or two there, and retiiincd 10 the Delaware- town. Oh, what a dead, ba^r. n, unprofitable wretch- .' did I.^now fee myieif io be ! h'ly fpirits werefb lowy SiV.d my bodily ftreiigth fo waited, that I could d&. nothing at all. At length, being much overdone I lay down on a bidjulu Jhn ; but fweat much the whole flight. 'Ihurfday, September 4. I difcourfed with the In- ■iiiaiis-- abotvfc Cb-riftiii-nity : my interpreter^ afterwards,. { ) canyir.g on the difcourfe, to a confiderable length t fome few appeared well-difpofed, and ibmewhat at- fefted. I left this place, and returned towards Shau- moking ; and at night lodged in the place where I lodged the Monday night before ; but my people be- ing belated, did not come to me till paft ten at night ; fo that I had no hre to drefs any vi6luals, or to keep me warm; and I was fcarce ever more weak and worn out in my life, Friday, September 5. I was fo weak, that I could fcarcely ride ; it feemed fometimes as if I muft fall off from my horfe : however, I got to Shaumoking, to- wards night, and felt thankfulnefs, that God had fo far returned me. Saturday, September 6. I fpent the day in a very- weak ftate; coughing and fpltting blood, and having little appetite to any food I had with me : I was able to do very little, except difcourfe awhile of divine things to my own people, and to fome few I met with. Monday, September 8. I fpent the forenoon among the Indians ; in the afternoon, left Shaumok- ing, and returned dov/n the river a few miles. I had propofed to have tarried a confiderable time longer among the Indians upon Sufquahannah ; but was hin- , dered by the weakly circuraltances of my own peo- ple, and efpccially my own extraordinary weak refs, having been exercifed with great nofturnal fweats, and a coughing up of blood, in almoft the wiiole of the jourrjey. I was a great part of the time fo feeble -and faint, that it fecmed as though i never fnould be able to reach home ; and at the fame time deftitote of the comfort?,' yea, neceifaries of life ; at iedit, what was Keceffary for one in fo weak a ftare. in this journey I fometimes was enabled to fpcak the w^rd of God with power, and divine truths made fome impreifions on divers that heard me ; fo that feveral, both men and women, old and young, feemed to cleave to us, and be well difpofed towards Chriftia- nity ; but Others mocked and flrouted, which damp- ed thofe v/ho before feemed friendly: yet God, at timesj ( ^^4 ) i times, was evidently prefent, afTifting me, my inter : preter, and other dear friends v/ho were with me God gave fometimes a good degree of freedom ir prayer for the ingathering of fouls there ; and-I coul<3 net but entertain^ a fhrong hope, that the journey fliould not be 'wholly fruitlefs. Tuefday, September 9, 1 rode down the river 1 near thirty miles, was extreme weak, much f,;tigue4| ,v and v/et v/ith a thunder ftorm. 1 difcourfed witlij fome warmth and clofencfs to fome poor ignoranj fouls, on the life andpowr of religion. They feera;} ed much aftonifl^.ed, w^hen thc>- favv mv Ii-'dians af^ a blefling, and give thankN atdin.ier; cui. eluding thai' 3, a very high evidence of grace in thern ; but were more aifonifhed, when I iniiired, that r : iiher that, nor yet fecrct prayer, was any f'^: evidence of grace, Oh the ignorance of the wcdd 1 How die fome em ' ty outward forms, mir.;.,ker> for t;ue rT^Ugiot_. Wednefday, September if 1 j ..de nzn' rv;c,.ity miles homeward ; and was m ch iuiicited to preach, but was utterly unable. I was extremely overdone with the heat and fhowers,- and coughed up tonfidts*- rable quantities of biood, Thurfday, September 11, I rode homeward ; bi|t was very weak, and fometimes fcarce able to ride, I had a very importunate invitation to preach at a irseeting-boufe I cam.e by, but could not. by reafon of weaknefs. I was refigned under my wcakneis,; but was much cxercJ'fed ^er my c ompan'ions in travel,! whom I had iefr with much regret, fcme lame, and il fome iicke . U Friday, September 12, . I rode about fifty miles ; li sndcamejuft at night to a Chriftian friend's houle, !"; about twenty-five miles vt/eftward from Philadelphia, i I v^as kindly entertained, and found myfelf much re- 'ij freihed in the midfi of my weaknefs and fatigues, i Lord's dayj September 1 4. I preached both parts of the day (but fbort) from Luke xiv> 23. God gave I me freedom and warmth in my difcourfe ; and helped jii me to labour in fing]enefs of heart. I was much tired [ m the evening, but v/as comforted with the moft ten- tender ( 2>5 ) der treatment I ever inct with in my life. My mind, through the ^7hole of ihis day, was exceeding calm; and I could alk for nothing but that the will of God might be done." AVednefday. September 17. I rode into Phila- delphia, but was very weak, c^nd n}y cough and fpitting of blood continued. Saturday, September 20. I arrived among my own people: found them praying together : went in, and rave them fome account of God's dealings with me and my companions in the journey. I tlien prayed with tbem, and the divine prefence was among us ; divers were melted into tears. Being very weak, I was obliged foon to repair to my lodgings. Thus God has carried m.e through the fatigues and perils of another journey to Sufquahannah, and returned me again in^fafety, though under a^reat degree of bodi» Jy mdifpohtion. Many hardfhips and diftreffes I endured in this journey : but the Lord fupported under them alL PART VIII. ^fter hu Return from his laft Journsy to Sufiuakannah-^ until Ins Death. [ TTITHERTO Mr. Brainerd had kept a confranr X X diary, giving an account of what palled from i-day'to day : but hencefxjrward his diary is much in- terrupted by his il inefs ; under whicii he was often •brought fo low, as not totje able to recolkft, in the i eveningjwhat had paiTed in the dav, and let dovv'n an orderly accc j -t of it in wricing. However, lie took =-fome notice of the moft maierial things concerning ,liimfeif even 'till within a few days of his death. "] . Lord's day, September 21, 1746, I was fo weak 1 could not preach, nor ride over to my people in fthe afternoon. In the afternoon 1 rede out: fa: in . ( 2i6 ) my chair, and difcourfed to my people from Rom xiv. 7i 8. I was ftrengthened in my difcourfc' and there appeared fomething agreeable in the ei to make the choice, whether 1 would live or die. 1 could with great compofure look death in the face and frequently with fenfible joy. Oh, how bleffed -it is, to be habitually prepared for death 1 The Lord ..grant, that I may be actually ready alfo ! Lord's day, September 28. i rode to my people,' and, though under much weaknefs, difcourfed about half an hour ^ at which fcafon divine power feemed to attend the word; but being extrenw weak, i was! obliged todefift; and after a turn of faintnefs, with much dithculty rode to my lodgings, where betaking! inyfelf to my bed, I lay in a burning fever, andalnioft deliriousj This was the fourth hoiift he built for his refidence mong the Indians. ( ^^7 ) delirious, for fevcral liours. till towards mornin.gj, ray- fever went off with a violent fvveat, I have often been feverifli after preaching : but this was the moft diffreffing turn, that ever preaching brought upon me. Yet I felt perfectly at reft in my own mind, becaufe I had m.ade my utmofl attempts to fpeak for God. Tuefday, September 30. Yeilerday and to-day I was fcarce able to fit up half the day. But I in a com- pofed frame was remarkably free from dejettion and melancholy ; as God has been pleafed to deliver me from thefe unhappy glooms, in the general courfe of my prefent weaknefs hitherto, and alfo from a pee= vifh fpirit. Oh that 1 may always be able to fay^ Lord, not my will, bui thine be done 1" Saturday, Ocfober 4. I fpent the former part of this Week under a great degree of diforder, as I h dd done feveral wrecks before : was able, however, to ride a little every day, although upable to fit up half the day, and took fome care daily of pcrfons at work upon my houfe. On Friday afternoon I found ray- felf wonderfully revived and ftrengthened : and hav- ing fome time before given notice to my people, and thofe at the Forks of Delaware in particular, that I defigned. to adminifter the facrament of the Lord's fupper upon the hrft Sabbath in Oclober. On Friday afternoon I preached preparatory to the facrament: from 2 Cor. xiii. ,5. I was furprifingly ftrengthened in my work, while I was fpeaking : but was obliged immediately after to repair to bed. being now re- moved into my own houfe among the Indians : which gave me fjch fpeedy relief, as I could not well have lived Without. I fpent fome time on Friday night in ronverfing wich my people as I lay upon my bed ; and found my foul refrefhed. 'This being Saturday, I difcourfed particularly with divers of the communi- cants; and this afternoon preached from Zech. xii, 10. There feemed to be a tender melting, and hear- ty mourning for fm in the congregation. Ivly foul was in a comfortable frame, and 1 was myfelf. as well as moft of the congregation, much affefted with the T humble ('2l8 ) humble confeflion, and apparent broken-heartednefs of a backjlider ; and could not but rejoice, that God" had given him fuch a fenfe of his fm and unworthi- ncfs. .1 was extremely tired in the evening; but lay on my bed, and difcourfed to my people. Lord's day, Oftober 5. I was fliU very weak; " and in the morning afraid I fhould not be able to go through the work of the day, I difcourfed before, the adminiflration of the facrament from John i. 2^9. " Behold the Lamb of God, that taketh away the fm of the world."' The divine prefence attended this difcourfe ; and the afiembly was confiderably melted. After ferm.on I baptized two perfons, and then admi- niflered the Lord's fupper to near forty cammuni-, cants of the Indians, behdes divers dear Chriftians of the white people. It was a feafon of divine, power and grace; and numbers rejoiced in Godo, Oh, the fweet union and harmony then appearing a- mong the religious people! My foul v./as refrefhed, and my friends, of the white people, with me. After the facrament I could fcarcely get home; but was fupported by my friends, and laid on my bed ; where I lay in pain till the evening; and then was able to , fit up and difcourfe with my friends. Oh, how was this day fpent in prayers and praifes among my dear, people i One might hear them all the morning before public worfhip, and in the evening till near mid- night, praying and fmging praifes to Qod, in one or other of their houfes. Saturday, Oftober 11. Towards night T was feiz- ed with an ague, which w^a& followed with a hard fever, and much pain : I was treated with great kind- nefs, and was afhamed to fee fo much concern about fo unworthy a creature. I was in a comfortable frame of mind, wholly fubmifllve, with regard to life or death. It was indeed a peculiar fatisfaftion to me, to think, that it was not my bufmefs to determine whether I fhould live or die. 1 likewife felt pecu-, liarly fatisfied, while under this uncommon degree of diforder; being nov/ fully convinced of my being" really unable to perform my work. Oh, h?ow pre- cious" ( ^'9 ) cious is tr.r^e r And h ov/ guilty it makes rae ffel, when I think 1 h^.ve triiled away and mifemplay'd it, - or neglected to hli up each part of it v/ith duty, to the litraoxl o-f my abiiity 1 October 19. I was willing either to die or live; but found it hard to iliink of living ufelefs. Oh that I might never live to be a burden to God's creation ; but that I mig;-;: be r.ilcwed to repair home, when • "my iojourning work is done ! ■Friday, October- Z4. I ipent the day in overfeeing and diretting my peoi'Ie about mending tlieir fence, and fecuring their wheat. — I was fomewhat refrefh- ed m tbe evening, having been able to do fomething valuable in the day-time. . Oh, how it pains me, to fee drje p a fs away, when,. I can do nothing to any purpofe ! Saturday, ,Dc:obtJi- -25r I viiited fon-.e of my peo- ple ; fpent foirie time -in writings and felt much be.t^ tcr in body, than ufual : when it was near night, I - felt fo well, that I had thoughts of expounding : but •in the evening --.".i much diiordereu again, and fpent the ni^iit in co. .:- .v . i.nd fpitting of blood. Lore's day. Ucco.)nr 26. In the morning I was exceeding v/eak^ and i-.^ent the day till near night, in -pain to fee my poor people wandering asjkeep not hdv- ing ajh^pherd. But tov.^ards night, finding myfeif 3. little better, 1 called them together to my houfe, and fat down, and read and expounded ^tlatth. v. 1 — 1 6. This difcourfe, though delivered in much v/eaknef?, was attended with power ; efpecially what.was fpoken upon the laft of thefe verfes, where I inhftea on the infinite wrong done to religion, by having our h^it become darknefs. inftead of jTiining before men. As ma- ny were deeply aiFecled with a fenfe of their deficien - cy, in regard of afpiritual converfation, and a fpirit of concern and watchfuinefs feemed to be excited in them ; fo there was one that had fallen into drunken- nefs, fome time before, who was now deeply con- vinced of his fin, and difcovered a great degree of grief and concern on that account. My foul was re- freihed to iec ihi';. And though I hadno flrengih to ( 220 ) ■ . i fpeak fo much as I would have done, butAvas obliged 1 i to lie down on the bed : yet I rejoiced to fee fuch an j humble melting in the congregation ; and that divine j truths, though faintly delivered, were attended with \ fo much efficacy. j Monday, OftoberQy. T fpent the day in direfting ;] the Indians, about mending the fence round their \ \ wheat : and was able to v/alk with them, and contrive their bufinefs, all the forenoon. In the afternoon I was j vifitcd by two dear friends, and fpent fome time in converfation v/ith them. Towards night I was able to walk out, and take care of the Indians again. Oclobcr 28. I rode to Prince-Town, in a veiy weak {fate : had fuch a violent fever, by the way, liiat I was forced to alight at a friend's houfc, and lie d ; iTjy fpirits were refreflied to fee them ; but I Wcic, lurprized, and even afl>amed, that they had taken lo m Lich pains as to ride thirty or forty miles to fee me. Saturday, November 1, i took leave of my friends and returned home. Lord's day, November 2. T was unablr. to preach ■ xind fcarcciy able to fit up the whole day. I was al- r.ioft funk, to fee my poor people deflitute of the means of grace ; and efpecialiy confideiing they could not read, and fo were under great difadvantages for fpending the Sabbath comhnlably. Oh, methought, j could be contented to be ficis, if ray poor flock had a faithful paftor to feed them. A view of their want^ of this was more affiiitive to me, than all my bodily iilnefs. Monday. Novemiber 3. Being now in fo low a ftate, that i vvas utterly uncapable of performing my. v/ork. and having little hope of recovery, unlefs by much riding, I thought it my duty to take a journey into New-England, I accordingly took leave of my congregation this day. — Before I left my people, I vifited them all in their refpeftive houfes, and dif- .couried to each one, as 1 thought moft fuitable for | their circumfhancesj and found great freedom in fo I doing: ( 221 ) doing : I fcarce left one houfe but fome were in tears,- not only affefted with my being about to leave ihem, but with the folemn addreffes i made ; for I was help- ed to be fervent in fpirit. When I had thus gone through my congregation, (which toolc me moit of the day) and had. taken, leave of them, and of the fchool, I rode about tvs-o miles, to the houfe where I lived in the fummer paft, and there lodged. Tuefday. November 4. I rods to VVoodbridge;. and lodged with Mr. Fierfon. "Wednefday. November 5. I rode to Elifabeth- Tov/n. intending as foon as poiTible to profecute ni)'- journey. But I was in an hour or two taken much. worfe.— For near a week I was confined to my cham- ber, and mofl of the lime to my bed ; .and then fo far revived as to be able to walk about the houfe ; but . was dill ccniined within doors, I was cnabkdto maintain a calm,- compcfed, and : patient fpint, as 1 had from the beginning of my weak- nefs. After I had been in Elifabeth-Tov^'n about a fortnight, and had fo far recovered that I was able to walk about the houfe, .upon a day of thankfgiving kept in this place. .1 was enabled to recount the mer- cies' of God, in fuch a manner as greatly aife6led me^ and filled me with thankfulneii-to ■ God j efpeciaily ■ for his v/ork of grace among the Indians, and the en- largement of his kingdom. " Lord, glorify thyfeif," was the cry of my foul. OK that all people might love and praife the bieffed God. After this comfortable feafon, I frequently enjoyed enlargem.ent of foul in prayer for my dear congrega- tion, very often for every family, and every perfon - in particular ; and it was a great comfort to rne, ths't I could pray heartily to God for thoCe whom I was not allov^^ed to fee, ' In the latter end of December, I grew ftill weak- er, and coTitinued to do fo, till the latter end ot January 1746-7. Andhaving a violent cough, a con- fiderable fever, and no appetite for any manner of food, I was reduced to fo low a ftate. that my friend: generally defpairedof my life : and for icme time to- ^etiier, thought I could fcarce live a day to an end". On Lord's day^' February i. If ye, being evil, know how to. give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the holy Spirit to thera that afk him ?" This text I was help- ed to plead, and faw the divirie faithfulnefs engaged fur dealing with mt better than any earthly parent can do with his child. This fcafon fo refiefned mjr ibul, that my body feerticd alfo to be a gainer by it.. And from this time,. I begaun graclually to amend. And as } recovered fome ftrength, vigour^ and fpirit, I found at times iome life in the exercifes of devotion,, and long^ings after fpirituality aixi a life- of ufcful- nefs.. On Tuefday,. FebI^uary 24. I was able to ride aS' far as Newark, (having been confined within F^iifa-^ beth-Town almolt four months,.) and the next day re- lumed to Ehfabeth-Town. My Ipirits- were fome- what refrefhed with ihQ ride,, though my body w:>s '^''eary,. On Saturday ,. February 28. I was vifited by an Indian of my own congregation, who brought n>e; kiters,, and gogd news of t4ie behaviour of my peg-- .^ple in generdi. ; this refrefhed my foul, 1 could not but retiye and blefb God for his goodnefs-. Wednelday, March. 11,. being kept in Elifabeth- Town as a day of fail: ing and prayer,, I v/ as able to at- tend public worfhip,. which was the hrfl time fin^e December 21. Oh, how much diftrefs did God car- j^y rae thi'Ougb in this fpace of time ! But having ob- tained help from him^. I yet- live : Oh that 1 could* live to his glory !, Thurfday, Ivlai ch 18-. I rode to my people : and on' Friday morning walked about araong them, and in*-' tjui-red into their ftaie and conceins : and found an additional weight on my ipirits upon hearing fome, things difegreeabie,. 1 endeavoured to go to God witii my diftreiTes : but notv^ithllanding my mind continu- ed very gloomy. About ten o'clock, I called my people together, and after having explained and fung . ,3 pf^lrn.j. I prayed, with thera^ I'hev.e vv^as a confide-r rable ( ) iral:-- ■ : of afrection among them vl doubt not, thot -which V. i> more than merely natural. [Thi- was the lajt mUrvi-iiQ that he ever had with his people. About eleven o'clock the lame day, Ke l^ft them ; and the next day cam« to Elifabeth- Town.] Saturday, March 28. I was taken this morning with a violent griping. Thefe pains vstere extreme and conftantj for feveral hours ; fo that it feemed. im- poiliblc for me. wiihout a mirdcle_. to live twenty- four hours. I lay conhned to mv bed. the whole day : but it pleafed God to blefs means for the abate- ment of my diltrefs.^ I wns exceedingly weakened by this pain, and continued fo for feveral days fol- iowing. In this diftrelTed cafe, death appeared agree:i- ble tome;, as. an entrance into a place where the weary are at reft and, 1 had fom.e reliHi of the en- tertainments ox the heavenly ftate : fo that by thefe I was allured and drawn, as" vjelL as driven by the fa- tigues of life. Oh, how happy it is. to be drawn by defires of a Rate of perfett holmefs I. Saturday, April 4. I was uneafy, by rcafon of the mifemployment of time : and yet knew not what to- do: i longed to Ipcnd time in fafting and prayer, ] but. alas, I kad not bodily ft.rength ! Oh^ how bkf- fed a thing is it, to enjpy peace of confcience ! how dreadful a. want of inward peace L It is impoffibfe, I find, to enjoy this happineis without udeeming tim^y and miaintaining a fpiritual frame of mind. Lord's day. April 5. It griered me. to find my- felf fo inconceivably barren. My foul thirfted for grace ; but, alas, how far was 1 froai obtainmg what 1 fav/ fo excellent ! I was ready to defpair of ever being holy : and yet my foul was dehrous of Jollozving hard after God but never did. I fee myfelf fo far from haviri^ appre/iended, or being already pcrftd. The Lord's fupper being this, day adminiftered, in the feafon of com.miunion,. 1 enjoyed warmth of affeftion, and felt a tender love to the brethren; and, to Uie glorious P^e- deemer. the Jirji-borii among them. I endeavoured tlien to brin^jcrth mine and his cnemuSy d.\-\6.ftay ih^^tn. ~ before ( ^^^4. ^ kef ore him i and found great freedom in begging deli- .j vcrance from this fpiritual death, as well as in afking favours for my friends, and congregation, and the j'l church of Chrift in general, Friday, April 17. In the evening, God helped mc to draw neai-f to the throne of grace," and gave me a fenfe af his favour, wkich gave me inexpreflible> fupport and encoviragement ; I could not but rejoice, that ever God fliould difcover his reconciled face to fuch a, vile fnincr. Shanie and confufion, at times,, covered me ; and then hope, and joy, and admira- tion of divine goodnefs. Tuefday, April 21, I fet out on my journey for New-England; I travelled to- New-York, and there lodged. [This proved his final departure from New-Jerfey. —He travelled (lowly, and arrived among his friends at Eaft-Haddam, about tiie beginning of May. J Lord's day, May 10. (At Had-Lime) i could not but feel gratitude to God, that he had always dif-.- poied me, in my miniflry,: lo infift on the great doc- trines o( regeneration, a new creature, faitk in Chriji, pro^- grejfive JarMif-cation, Jupreme love to Gody living' entirely to the glory of God, king not our own, and the like. God has helped me to. fee, from time to time, that thefe, and- the like doftrines, nccell'ariiy connefted with them^., are the only foundation of fafety and falvation for pe- rifliing fmners ; and that thofe divine difpofitions, . which are confonant hereto, are that holimfs, " with- out v/hich no man flrall fee the Lord the exercife of thefe God-like te-mpers, wherein the foul a6ts in a kind of concert v/ith God,, and would be and do^' | everything that is pleahng to God; this, I faw, :^ w^ould fland by the foul in a dying hour; for God 'i _mufl:, deny himfelf, if he cafk av/ay his own image, evf-ii I the foul that is one in dehres with himfclf. Lord's day. May 17, Though I felt much dut*"- ncfs this week ; yet I had fome glimpfes of the; excellency of divine things; and efpecially one ' \ morning, the beauty of holinefs, as a likencf? to the glorious God, was fo difcovcred to i^ie- ! j ( "5 ) that I longea carneftly Lo be in that world where holl- nefs dwells in perfc-6lion, that I might pleale God, live entirely to him, and glorify him to the utmod ilretch of my capacities. Lord's day, May 24. (At Long-Meadow in Spring- field) I could not but think, as i have often remark- ed to others, that much more oUrue religion conhflsin deep humility, brokennefs of heart, and an abrfing fevfe of leant f holincfs. than moil who are called Lhnji.^ns^ imagine. [OnThurfday, May 28. He came from Long- Meadow to Northampton ; appearing vaftly better than he had been in the winter; indeed fo well, that he was able to ride twenty-five miles in a day, and to walk half a mile ; but yet he was undoubtedly, at that timey in a confirmed, incurable confumption. I had much opportunity before this, of particu-lar information concerning him, but now 1 had opportu- nity for a more full acquaintance with him. i found iiim remarkable fociable, pleafant, and entertaining in his converfation ; yet folid. favoury, fpiritual, and very profitable ; appearing meek, modeft, and hum- ble, far from any iliffnefs, morofenefs, fuperftitious demurenefs, or affected fmgularity in fpeech or be- haviour. We enjoyed not only the benefit of his converfation, but had the comfort of hearing him pray in the famJly, from time to time. His manner ©f praying was becoming a worm of the dufl:, and a difcipie of Chrift addreihng to an infinitely great and holy God, and Father of-, mercies ; not with florid expreiTions, or a ftudied eloquence ; not with any intemperate vehemence, or indecent boldnefs ; at the greateft difiance from any appearance of oflentation, and from every thing that might look as though he meant to recommend himfetf to thofe that were about him, or fet himfelfoft to their acceptance, free from vain repetitions, without impertinent excurfions, or needlefs multiplying of words. He expreffed him- felf with the ftrifteft propriety, with weight and pun- gency ; and yet what his lips uttered feemed to flow i'rom thtfulnefs of his h^nrt^ as deeply impreffed with ( .26 ) a great: and folemn fenfe of our neceffities, unwortRi- 1 nefs, and.dependence, and of God's infinite greatnefs, cxceilertcy, and fufiiciency, ralhcr than merely fromj a warm and fruitful brain. And I know not^ i that ever I heard him fo much as afk a blcxTing or re- , turn thanks at table, but there was fomething re- markable to be obferved both in the matter and man- ner of the performance. In his prayers he^nfifted much on the profperity of Zion, the advancement of Chriil's kingdom in the world, and the flouriihing ■and propagation of religion among the Indians. And he generally made it one petition in his prayer^. that we might not outlive our ufefulnefs."j I^This week he confuked Dr. Mather, at my houfe, concerning his iilnefs ; v»/ho plainly told him there were great evidetiCes of his being in a confirmed cc?^- ' fiiinption^ and that he could give him. no encourage- ment, that he fhould ever recover. But it feemed not to occaiion the leaft diicompofare in him, nor to make any alteration as to the freedom or pleafantnefsof his converllilion.j Lord's day, June 7. My foul v/as fo drawn forthj.. this day, by what I heard of the exceeding preci-- oufnefs of the grace of Clod's Spirit," that it almof!:; overcame my body : I favv' that true grace is exceed- ing precious indeed ; that it is very rare ; and that there is but a very fmall degree of it, even whera- the reality of it^s to be found. In the preceding week, I enjoyed forne comforta-- ble feafons of meditation. One morning the caufe. of God appeared exceeding precious to me: 1 faw alfo, that God has an -infinitely greater concern for it, than I could poffibly have ; that if I have any. true love to this blelled intereft, it is only a drop de- rived from that ocean ; hence,. 1 was ready to " lift up my head Vvrith joy and conclude, Well, if God's caufe be fo dear and preciaus to him, he. will j; promote it.'' [He was advifed by phyficians ftill to continue' riding, as what would tend to prolong his life. He" was at a iofs for.fome tim^e w.hich way to bend his. c®urfe;.: ( ) couT-fe ; bufnnally determined to ride to Bc^'ton ; we having concludea that one of this fam-'ly Irould go v.hih him and he helpful to hhm in his low fiate,] Tuefday. June q. I fct out on a journey from Xorthampton to Bofton. Havingr non- continued to ride for fome confider- a.ble time. I felt my felf much better, and I found, that in proportion to the profpeft I had of being re- itored to a ftate of'ufefalnefi. fo I dehred the con- tinuance of life ; but death appeared, inconceivably- more deiirable to me. than a uielefs life ; yet blelfed be God, I found my heart fully religned to tbis .greateft of afSictions. ifGodfaw iit thus to deal with me. Friday, July 12. I arrived in Boflion this day. fome- what fatigued with my journey. There is no j-efl:^ -but in God : fatigues of body, and anxieties of mind, ^attend us. both in town and country. On Thurfday, June 18. I was taken exceeding ill, and brought to the gates of death, by the breaking of fraaii ulcers in my lungs, as my ph)^ician fuppofed, •In this extreme weak ftate I continued feveral weeks, ■and \vas frequently fo low, as to be utterly fpeech- -iefs: and even after I had fo far revived, as to ftep ■out of doors. I was exercifed every day with a faint turn, which continued ufually four or five hours ; at -■^•hich times, though I could fay yes or No. yet I xould not fpeak pne fentence, without making ftops 'for breath ; and divers times in this feafcn, my friends gathered round my bed, to fee me breathe my :laft. Kow I vv-as, the firfl: day or two of my illnefs, with regard to the exercife of reafon, I fcarcely know; but the third day. and conftantly afterwards, for four or five weeks together, I enjoyed_much ferenity of mind, and clearnels, of thought, as perhaps I ever 4id in my life : and I think, my mind never pene- trated with fo much eafe and freedom into divine things, and I never felt fo capable of deraonftrating the truth of many important doftrines or the gofpel as ROW. As ( 228 ) As God was pleafed to afford me clearncfs of thought almoft continually, for feveral weeks toge- ther; fo he enabled me^ in fome meafure, to employ my time to valuable pjirpofes. I was enabled to write a number of important letters^ to friends in re- mote places : and fometimes \ wrote when I was fpecchiefs. i. e. unable to maintain converfation with any body. — Befides this, I had many vifUajits i with whom, when I was able to fpeak, 1 always converfed of the things of religion ; and was peculiarly aflifted in diftinguilhing between true diudjalfc religion. And efptecialiy, 1 difcourfed repeatedly on the nature and necefiity of th?d humiliatmi, /elf-emptinefs, or full con- viftion of a perfon's being utterly undone in himfelf,- which is neccHary in order to a (dvingfaUh, and the extreme difficulty of being brought to this, and the great danger there is of perfons taking up with fome Jelf-righteoas appearances of it. The danger of this I eipecially dwelt upon, being perfaaded that multi- tudes perifh in this hidden way ; and becaufe fo little" is faid from moft pulpits to difcover any danger here: fo that perfons being never effeftually brought to die to themfelves, are never truly united to Chrift. I aifo difcourfed much on what I take to be the eflence of true religion, that God-like temper and difpofition ©f foul, and that holy converfation and behaviour, that may juflly claim the honour of having God for its original and patron. And I have reafon to hope God bleifed my difcourfmg to fome, both mini ilers and people ; fo that my time was not wholly loft. [Aifo the honourable Commifiioners in Bofton, of- the incorporated fociety in London for propagating the gofpel in New-England, and parts adjacent, hav- ing a legacy of the late Dr. Daniel Williams of Lon- don, for the fupport of two mijfionaries to the Hea- then, v/ere pleafed, while he was in Bofton, to confult him about a miffion to thofe Indians called the Six Nations; and were fo fatisfied with his fenti- ments on this head, and had that confidence in his- faithfulnefsj and judgmentj that thsy defired him to recom* ( ) recommsnd a couple of perfons fit to be employed in this bulinefs. Mr. Brainerd's reftoration from his extremely low flale in Boflon, fo as to go abroad again and to tra- vel, was very unexpefted to him and his friends. My daugliter who was with him, writes thus con- cerning him, in a letter dated June 23. " On Thurfday, he w^s very ill of a violent fever, arid extreme pain in his head and breaft, and, at turns, delirious. So h« remained till Saturday evening, when he feemed to be in the agonies of death : the family was up with him 'till one or two o'clock, cxpe£ling every hour would be his laft. On Sabbath-day he was a little revived, his head was better, but very full of pain, and cxceedir'^ fore at his breaft, much put to it for breath. Yei'terday he was better upon all accounts. Laft night be flept but little. This morning he is much worie. Dre Pynchon fays, he has no hopes of his life: nor does he think it likely he will ever come out of his cham- ber.^' His phyfician, the honourable Jofeph Pynchon^ Efq, when he vifited him in Bofton, attributed his finking fo fuddeniy into a ftate fo nigh unto death, to the breaking of ulcers, that had been long gather= ing in his lungs, and there difcharging and diifufmg their purulent- matter ; which, while nature was la.- bouring and flruggling to throw off, (that could be done no otherv/iic, than by a gradual ftraining of it through the fmall veifels of thofe vital parts), this cc- cafioned an high fever, and violent coughing, and threw the whole frame of nature into the utmoft; diforder; but fuppofed, if the ftrength of nature held 'till the lungs had this way gradually cleared them- felves of this putrid matter, he might revive, and continue better, 'till new ulcers gathered and broke ; but then he would furely fmk again ; and that there ; was no hope of his recovery; but (as he expreffcd himfelf to one of my neighbours) he was as certainly a dead man, as if he was fhot through the heart, y But ( 230 ) But fo it was ordered in divine providence, that the ftrength of naiure held out through this great coh- flift, fo as juft to efcape the grave at that turn ; and then he revived, to the aflonifhment of all that knew his cafe. After he began to revive, he was vifited by his youngeft brother, Mr. Ifrael Brainerd, a ftudent at Yale-college; who having heard of his extreme ill- nefsj went from thence to Bofton, in order to fee him. This vifit was attended with a mixture of joy and forrow to Mr. Brainerd. He greatly rejoiced to fee his brother, efpecially becaufe he had defired an op- portunity of fome religious converfation with him be- fore he died. But this meeting was attended with forrow, as his brother brought to him the tidings of his fifter Spencer's death at Haddam ; a fifter, be- tween whom and him had long fubfifted a peculiar dear affeftion, and much intimacy in fpiritual mat- ters. He had heard nothing of her ficknefs 'till this report of her death. But he had thefe comforts toge- ther with the tidings, a confidence of her being gone to heaven, and an expectation of his foon meeting her there. — His brother continued with him 'till he left the town, and came with him from thence to Northampton. Concerning the lafl Sabbath Mr. Brainerd fpent at Bofton, he writes in his diary as follows.] Lord's day, July 19. 1 was juil able to attend public ^orfhip, being carried to the houfe of God in a chaife, 1 heard Dr. Sew all preach in the forenoon : partook of tbe Lord's fupper at this time, in the facrament, I faw aftonifhing difplayed ^ fuch wifdom as required the tongues of angels and glorified faints to celebrate ; it feemed to me I never fhould do any thing at adoring the infinite wifdom of God difcovered, in the contrivance of man's redemption, until 1 ar- rived at a world of perfection ; yet I could not help ftriving to *' call upon my foul, and all within me, to blefs the name of God." [The ( =^3^ ) [The next day he fet out in the cool of the after- noon, on his journey to Northampton, attended by his brother, and my daughter that went with him to Bofton ; and would have been accompanied out of the town by a number of gentlemen, had not his averfion to any thing of pomp and fhew prevented it.]. Saturday, July 25. J arrived here at Northamp- ton, having fet out from Bofton on Monday, about four o'clock P. M. In this journey, I rode about fix- teen miles a day, one day v/ith another. 1 wa^ fome- times extremely tired, fo that it feemed impoifible for me to proceed any further ; at other times I was con- fiderably better, and felt fome freedom both of body and mind. Lord's day, July 26. This day, J faw clearly, that God hirafeif could not make me haopv unlefs I could be in a capacity to " pleafe and glorify him for ever;'* take away ^Azi, and admit me into all the fine hea- vens that can be conceived by men or aiigels, and { lliould ftill be nuferabk for ever. [Though be had fo far revived, as to be able to it'avel thu , f,ir, y&t h.e lavaiifeitf^d no pxpprfd.tion of recovery: he fuppofed, as his phyfician did, thatliU- being brought fo near to death at Bofhon, was owing to the breaking of ulcers in his lungs : he told me that he had had feveral fuch ill turns before, only not to fo high a degree, but as ire fuppofed, owing to the fame caufe y and that he was brought lower and lower every time ; and it appeared to him, that in his laft ficknefs (in Bofton) he was brought as low as poflible, and yet alive ; and that he ha.- la^ft was much on the famefubjcfts as it had been in_ Bofton ; he was much in fpeaking of the nature of ^ true religion of heart and pra6Hce, as dillinguiibed ; fi-om its various ceunterfdts ; expreffing his great con- r- cern, that the latter did fo much prevail in many . places. He often manifeflcd his great abhorrence of all fuch doEirines and prinapks in religion, as in any * wife favoured of, and had any {though but a remote) , tendency to Antinomianifm ; of all fuch notions as : feemed to diminifh the necefTity of holincfs of life, or to abate men's regard to the commands of God, and a ftri6l, diligent, and univerfal pradice of vir- tue, under a pretence 6f depreciating our works,- and magnifying God's free grace. He fpake ofte^n, with much deteftation, of fuch dijcovmes dnidt. joys\ as have nothing of the nature of Janhifitation in them, and do not tend to (Iriftnefs, tenderncfs, and dili-, gcnce in religion, and mecknefs and benevolence to-f ward mankind : and he alfo declared, {hat he looked on fufh pretended humility as worthy of no regard, _t]i^t w^^s pQt i^i^inif^fted hy nwdcjy miMt mii<}fr,: After he came hither, as long as he lived, he was- much in fpeaking of the future profperiiy of Zioti that is fo often promifed in fcriptuie : and his mind feemed to be carried forth with intenfe defncs, that religion might fpeedily revive and flourifh ; yea, the nearer death advanced, ffcill the more did his mind, feem to be taken up with this fubjeft. He told me^ when near his end, that " he never in ail bis had his mind fo led forth in defires and earneft pray- ers for the flouriChing of Chrijl's kingdom on earth, as fmce he was brought fo exceeding low at Boflon.'* He feemed much to wonder, that there appeared no more of a difpofition in miniflers and people to pray for the flourifiiing of religion through the world; thatfo little a part of their prayers was generally ta- ken up about itj in' their families, and elfewherei «i?4 .( 233 ) and particularly, he feveral times exprefled his won- der, that there appeared no more forwardnefs ta comply wilh the propofal lately made, in a memorial from a number of mmifters in Scotland, and fent over into America, for united extraordinary prayer, a- mong Chrift's minifteis and people, for the coming of Chri/i's kingdom : and he lent as his dying advice to his ozon congregation, that they fhould praftife agreeably to that propofal.* Though he was exceeding weak, yet there appear- ed in him a continual care well to employ time, and fill it up with fomething that might be profitable ; ei- ther profitable converfation, or writing letters to ab- fent friends, or noting fomething in his diary, or "looking over his former writings, correfting them, and preparing them to be left in the hands of others at his death, or giving fome dire6lions concerning a future management of his people, or employment in fecret devotions. He feemed never to be ealy, how- ever ill, if he was not doing fom-^ething for God, or in his fervice. In his diary for Lord's day? Auguft 16, he fpeaks of his having fo much refrefhraent of foul in the houfe ©f God, that it feemed alfoto refrefii his body. And this is not only noted in his diary^ but v/as very ob- fervable to others j it was very apparent, not only^ that his mind was exhilarated with inward confola- lion, but alfo that his animal fpirits and bodily flrength were remarkably reftored. But this was the laft time that ever he attended public worfhip 011 the Sabbath. V 3, Oa * His congregation y finct this, have zuiih. great ch^earfid- nefs and unanimity J cdkd in with this advice, and have prac- tifed agreeably to the propojal Jrovi Scotland y and have at ' times appeared zoith imcoinmon engagednejs and fervency of /pint in their united devotions, purfuant to that propofaL Alfo theprcjbytenes of Nezo-York, and New-Brurfwick, fines this, have zoith one confcut, f allen in zoith the propofal,. Uktoife fomc others of Qgd's pcapk in thofe parts, ( ) On Tucfday morning that week '^I being abfent on a journey) he prayed with my family ; but not with* out much iljfficulty; and this was the laft family prayer tl.it ever he made. He h?c been wont, till now, frequently to ride out, two or three miles ; but this week, on ThurfdayJ was ihi. laft time he ever did fo.]| I .id's day, Auguft 2;j, This mcw'nlng I was con* :ably refrefhed with the thought, yea, the ex- : . .'tation of the enlar^anmt oj Chrijl's kingdom ; and I ould not but hope, the time was at hand, when Ba- bylon the great would fall, and rife no more. I was unable to attend public v^^orfhip: but God was pleafed to afford me fatisfa6llon in divine thoughts. Nothing fo refrefhes my^foui, as when \ can go to God, yea, to God my exceeding joy. In this week paft, 1 had divers turns of inward re- frefhing, though my body was inexpreihbly weak» Sometimes my foul centered in God, as my only por- tion ; and I felt that I fhould be for ever unhappy, if he did not reign ; I faw the fweetnefs and happi-' nefs of being his fubjeft, at his difpofal. This made all my difficulties quickly vanilli. [Till this week he had been wont to lodge in a' room above ftairs ; but he now grew fo weak, that' he was no longer able to go up ftairs and down, Fri- day, Auguft 28, was the laft time he ever went above ftairsj hencefoj"ward he betook himfelf to a lower*' room. On Wednefday, September 2, Being the day o:^ our public le6lure., he feemed to be rcfrefhed w^ith feeing the neighbouring minifters, and expreffed a" great defire once more to go to the houfe of God : and accordingly rode to the meeting, and attended divine iervice, while the Reverend Mr, Woodbridge of Hatfield preached. He fignified that he fuppofed it.' to. be the laft time that ever he fhould attend the pub- lic W'Orftrip, as it proved. And indeed it was the laft. time that ever he went out at our gate alive. On the Saturday evening next following, he waq imexpedediy vifitcd by his brother Mr» John Brai- iierd-' ( m ) r.erd. He was much refrefhed by this unexpefted. vidt, this brother being peculiarly dear to hirh ; and he Icem^dto jejoice in a devout manner, to fee hira^ and to hear the comfortable tidings he brought con- cerning the ftate of his dear Indians : and a circuin^ fiance of this vilit^ that he was exceeding glad of, waS; that his brother brought him fome of his pri- vate writings from Xew-Jerfey. and particularly his diaiy that lie had kept for m.any years paft."; Lord's day. September 6, I began to read fome of my private writings, which my brother brought me ; and was confiderably refrcflied with what I met with in them. Monday, September 7. I proceeded further in reading my old private writings, and found they had the fame eiicift upon me as before : I could not but rejoice and blefs God for what pafied l"ong ago, which without writing had been entirely loft. This evening when I wa^ in great diftrels of body, my foul longed that God fnould be glorified: I faw there was no heaven but this, i could not but fpeak to the by-ftanders then of the only happinefs, viz, pleafmg God. Oh that I could evei live to God i The day, I truft, is at hand, the perfect day : Oh, the day of deliverance from ail nn. Lord's day, September 13, 1 was much refrefli- ed and engaged in meditation and writing, and found a hearttoa£l for God. My fp^rits were refrefhed, and my foul delighted to do fomething for God. [On the evening following that Lord's day, his feet began to fu'elL which thenceforward fwelled more and more. Afymptom of his diffolution coming on. The next day his brother left him. being obliged to return to New- jeiTey on fome buhnefsof great im- portance, intending to return again with aii poffible fpeed. hoping to fee his brother yet once more in. the land of the living. ■ Mr. Brainerd having now with much dcliberatiort confidered the important affair forementioned, left with him. by the honourable commiHioners in Bofton^ vi». the rvcomm.ending two pcrfoQs proper to be employed ( =^36 ) employed as miffionaries to the fix Nations, he about this time wrote a letter, recommending two young, gentlemen of his acquaintance Mr. Elihu Spencer of Eaft-Haddam, and Mr. Job Strong of Northampton, The commifTioners on the receipt of this letter, unani- moufly agreed to accept of the perfons he had recom- mended, He alfo this week, wrote a letter to a gentleman in Bofton, relating to the growth of the Indian fchool, and the need of another fchool-mafter. The gentlemen, on the receipt of this letter, had a meet- ing, and agreed with chearfulnefs to give 200I. (in bills of the old tenor) for the fupport of another fchooi-mailer ; and defired the Reverend Mr, Pem- berton of New-York, as foon as poffible to procure a fuitable perfon for that fervice : and alfo agreed to allow y^\. to defray fome fpecial charges that were requifite to encourage the miffion to the fix Nations, Mr. Brainerd fpenthimfelf much in writing thofc letters, being exceeding weak : but it feemed to be much to his latisfci6tion, that he had been enabled to doit ; hoping that it was fomething done for God, and which might be for the advancement of Chrift's kingdom and gkry. In writing the lafi: of thefe let- ters, he was obliged to ufe the hand of another, not being able to write himfelf. On the Thin fday pf this week (September 17.) w^S-^ the laft time that ever he went out of his lodging- room. That day, he v/as again vifited by his bro- ther Ifrael, who continued with him thenceforward; till his death. On tliat evening he was taken with fomething of a diarr/iea ; which he looked upon as another fign of his approaching (^e^i^/i ; whereupon he " exprefied liimfelf thus; Oh, the glorious time is now coming I I have longed to ferve God perfeftly .* now God will gratify thofe dehres !" And fiom time to time, at the feveral new (y rnptoms of his diffolu- tion, he was fo far from bein^ damped, that he feem- ed to be atrimated i as being glad at the appearances- ofdeath's approach. He often ufed the epithet, glo- rious, when fpeaking of the day of his dcaih, calling C 237 ) it thai ■jlofioiLS day. And as he faw his diffolution gradually approaching, he was much in talking about it, and aifo fettling ail his affairs, very particularly and minutely giving dire£tions . concerning what he would have done. And the nearer death approach- ed, the more defiroushe feemed to be of it. He fe- veral times fpake of rhe different kinds of zoilbng- nefs to dk ; and fpoke of it as a mean kind of willing- nefs to die, to be willing to leave the body only to get rid of pain. . -Saturday, September 19. While I attempted to walk a little, my thoughts turned thus ; *' How in- ' finitely fweet it is. to love God, and he all for him !'* Upon which it was fuggefled to me, '* You are not an angel, lively and aftive.** To which my foul im-^ mediately replied, I as fmcerely defire to love and'" glorify God. as any angel in heaven." Uponwhich^ it was fuggefted again, But you are filthy, and not^ fit for heaven." Hereupon inffantly appeared the bleffed robes of Chriff's righkov fncfs ^ which I could not but exult and triumph in : and I viewed the in- finite excellency of God, and my foul even broke with longings, that God fhould be glorified. I thought ■ ^^S"^*^' hCd~van : butlnftantly the thought re- tiiined, '* i do itot go nea^-ni to grt nornnr. hv.t to give all pofTible gloiy and praife.'* Oh, howl longed that God fliould be glorified on far^A alfo I Oh, I was made, for eternity, if God might be glo- rified! Bodily pains I cared not for; though I was. then in extremity, I never felt eafier; 1 feit willing to glorify God in that ftate, as long as he pleafed. The^ grave appeared really fweet, and I longed to lodge my weaiy bones in it : but Ob, that God might be gtorijied ! this was the burden of all my cry. Oh, X knew, I fhould be aEiive as an angel, in heaven ; ancf that I Ihould be fhripped of my Jilt hy garments I But Oh, to love and praife God more, to plea/e him for ever! this my foul panted after, and even noW pants for while 1 write. Oh that God might be glo^ rijied in the whole earth 1 " Lord, let thy kingdom' coiae," 1 longed for a fpirit of J?rmching to defcend ( 238 ) and reft on minijlers, that they might addrefs the , confciences of men with clofenefs and power. I . faw, God had the refidue of the Spirit and my foul longed it fhould be " poured from on high." I could not but plead with God for my dear congre- gation, that he would preferve it, and not fuffer his gnat name to lofe its glory in that work ; my foul ftill longing, that God might he glorified. [In the evening, " his m.outh fpake out of the abundaace of his heart," exprefling in a very af- fefting manner much the fame things as are wrilten in his diarj' : and among many other extraordinary expreffions, were thefe ; My heaven is to pleafe Goo ^ and glorify him, and to give all to him, and to be wholly devoted to his glory ; that is the heaven I long for ; this is my rdLgion^ and that is my happinef?, and always was, ever hnce 1 had any true religion; and all thofe that are of that religion fliall meet me in heaven.— — I do not go to heaven to be advanced, but to give honour to God. It is no matter where I Hiall be ftaiioned in heaven, whether I have a high or a low feat there ; but to love, and pleafe, and glorify God is all ; had I a thcujandjvuhf if {];cy v;cie worth any ihiug, I wC'ukl give them all to God | but 1 have nothing to give, when ail is done. It is impoiFible for any rational creature to be happy without afti ng all/or Go^/ ; God himfelf could not make him happy any other way. 1 long to be^ in heaven, praijing and glorifying God with, the holy angels: all my dehre is to glorify God. My heart goes put to the burying-place j it fcems to me a defirahk place : but Oh to glorify God ! that is it; that is above all. It is a great comfort to me, to think that I have done a little for God in the world : Oh 1 itr is but a very fmall matter; yet I have done a littk i and I lament it, that I have not done morz for him* There is nothing in the world worth living for, but doing good and fmfung God's work, I fee nothing elfe in the world, that can yield any fatisfa£lion, behdes living to God, pleafing him, and doing his, zahole zviUt My greateil joy and comfort has been, to do ( ) do fomething for promoting the intercfl of religion, and the fouls of particular pc.rions : and fTOzo. in my illnefs, while I am full of pain and diftrefs. from day to day, all the comfort 1 havej is in being able to do fome little char (or fmall piece of work) for Godj either by fomething that I fay, or writing, or fome other way." Pie intermingled with thefe and other like ex- preflions, many pathetic ccunfels to thofe that were about him ; particularly to my children and fervants. He applied himfelf to fome of my younger children at this time ; calling them to him, and fpeaking to them one by one ; fetting before them in a verv"-" plain manner, the nature of true piety, and its great Importance ; earneftly warning them not to reft in any thing fhort of that true and thorough change of heart, and a life devoted to God ; counfelling them not to be flack in the great bufmefs of religion, nor in-thre leaft to delay it; enforcing his counfels with this, that his words were the words of a dymgvian : faid he, " I fhall die here, and here fiiall I be bu- ried, and here you will fee my grave, and do you remember what I have faid to you. I am going into eternity : and it is fweet to me to think of eternity ; the endleiTnefs of it makes it fweet : but Oh, what fhall I fay to the eternity of the ickhed ! I cannot mention it. nor think of it; the thought is too dread- ful. When you fee my grave, then remember what I faid to you w-hen 1 was alive ; then think with yourfelf, how that man that lies in that grave, coun-^ felled and warned me to prepare for death." His body feemed to be marvelloufly ftrengthened, through the inward vigour of his mind i fo that, al- though before he was fo weak he could hardly utter a fentence, yet now he continued his moft af- fefting difcourfe for more than an hour, with fcarce any intermifiion ; and faid of it, when he had done, *• it was the iafh fermon that ever he fhould preach." [It appears by what is noted in his diary^ both of this day and the evening preceding, that his mind was at this time much impreiTed with a fenfe of the irapsir« ( ) importance of the work of xhftminifiry, and the nec'd of the grace of God, and his fpccial alUilance in this work : and itaUb appeared in what he expreffed in convxrfation ; particularly in his difcourfe to his bro- ther Ifrael, who was then a member of Yale-college at New-Haven, and had been profecuting his ftutJies there, to that end, that he might be fitted fox the work of the miniftry, and was now with him. He now, and from time to time, recommended to his brother a life of felf-denial, of weanednefs from the world, and devotedfiefs to God, and an earneft en- dcavom* to obtain much of the grace of God's Spi- rit, and God's gracious influences on his heart ; re- prefenting the great needwbich miniilers (land in of them, and the unfpeakable benefit of them ffom his own experience. Among many other expreihons he faid, " When minifters feel thefe gracious influ- ences on their hearts, it wonderfully alhfts them to come at the confciences of men, and as it were to handle them with hands ; whereas, without them, whatever reafon and oratory we make ufe of, we dp but make ufe of flumps inflead of hands/'] Monday, September 21. I began to correal a little volume of my private writings : God, I believe, re- markably helped me in it : my ftrength was fur- prifingly lengthened out, and my thoughts quick and lively, and my foul refrefhed, hoping it might be a work for God. Oh, how good, how fweet it is to labour for God ! Tuefday, September a2. I was again employed in reading and correcting, and had the fame fucccfs, as the day before, I was exceeding weak; but it feemed to refrefh my foul thus to fpend time. Wednesday, September 23. I finifhed my cor- reftions of the little piece forementioned, and felt uncommonly peaceful : It feemed as if I had now done all my work in this world, and flood ready for my call to a better. As long as I fee any thing to be done for God, life is worth having : but Oh, how vain and unworthy it is, to live for any lower end! Friday, ( =4' ) Friday, September 25. This day I was unfpeaka- biy weak, and little better than rpeechlefs all the day : however, I wa^ able to write a little, and felt com- fortably. Oh, it refrefhed my foul, to think of for- mer things, of defires to glorify God, of the plea* lures of living to him 1 Oh ray dear God, I am fpeedily coming to thee, I hope ! hailen the day, O Lord, if it be thy bleffed will ; Oh ccme, Lord. Je- come quickly. Amen.''f Sept,ember 27. He felt an unufual appetite to food ; with which his mind feemed to be exhilarated^ as a fign of the very near approach of deaths he faid upon it, " I was born on a Sabbath-day, and I have rea« fon to think I was new-born on a Sabbath-day j and I hope I fhall die on this Sabbath-day ; I fliall look up- on it as a favour, if it may be the will of God that it {liouldbe fo : I long for the rime. Oh, zi'hy is tin chariot fo long in coming ? why tarry tat zchceU of his cha- riots ? 1 am very willing to part with all : I am wil- ling to part with my dear brother John, and never to iee him again, to go to be for ever with the Lord. Oh , when I go there, how will God's dear church on earth be upon my mind!" Afterwards the fame m.orning. being afked how he did ? he anfwered, " I am almoft in eternity : 1 long to be there. My work is done : I have done .W"ith. all my friends ; all the world is nothing to me, .1 long to be in heaven, prafing and glorfyjig God with the holy aiigels : all my delire is to glorify God." During the whole of thefe lafb two weeks of his life, he leemed to continue loofe from all the world, as having done his work, and done v/iih ail thing'^ here belov,\ having nothing to do but to die, and abiding in an earneft dehre and expeftation of the happy moment, when ]:is foul Oiould take its flighty and go to a ftate of perfeftion, of holinefs, and perfeft W glorif^y^ing -J. -f This zo as thzlafi that ever he wrote in his diary with 'his ozvn hand: though it is continued a kttk farther^ in n 'broken manner ; writtm by ku brother Ifrady butindded by Ms mouth. ( ) glorifying and enjoying God. He faid, That the confideration of the day of death, and the day of judgment, had a long time been peculiarly fweet tq him." He from time to time fpake of his being wilr ling to leave the body and the world immediately that moment, if it was the will of God. He alfo was much in exprefiing his longings that the church of Chrift on earth might flourifh, and Chrift's king- dom here might be advanced, notwithftanding he was about to leave the earthy and fhould not with his eyes behold the defirable event. He faid to me, one morning, " My thougiits have been employed on the old dear theme, the pro/penfy of God's church on earth. As I waked out of {lecp, I was led to cry for the pouring out of God's fpirit, and the advance- ment ofChrift's kingdom, which the dear Redeem- er did, and fufFered To much for. It is that efpecial- }y makes me long for it." He once told me, that " he had formerly longed for the out-pouring of the Spirit of God, and the glo- rious times of the church, and hoped they were com- ing : and fhould have been willing to have lived to promote religion at that time, if iliat had been the will of God ; but (fays he) I am willing it fnould be as it is : I would not have the choice to make for myfelf, for ten thoufand worlds." He exprelfed on his death-bed a full perfuanon that he fhould in heci- z-sn fee the profperity of the church on earth, and fhould rejoice with Chrift therein ; and the confide- ration of It feemed to be highly pleahng to his mind. He alfo dill dwelt much on the great importance of the work, of tnimjiers ; and expreifed his longing?^ that they might be ^Ued zvith the Spirit of God j and ma- nifefted much defire to feefomeof the neighbouriiig minifters, wliom he had fome acquaintance with, that he might converfe freely with them on that fub- jeft before he died. And it fo happened, that he had opportunity with fome of themj, according to his deiire. Another thing that lay much on his heart, and that he fpake of, fiom time to time, in thefe near ap- proaches ( ) proachss of death, was the fpiritual p'"orperlty of his own congregation : and when he l^,a.ke of them, it was with peculiar tendcrnefs, To that his fpeech woald be prefsntly interrupted and drowned witii tears. He alfo cxprelTed much fatisfaclion in the difpo- fals of providence, with re gard to the circumftdncci cfhis death; particuLrly that God had before his death given idm the opportuniiy he had in Bol- ton, with fo many CO lidcrable perfcms, miniiters, and others, to give in his teiliinony for God, and againft falf^ religion: and there to lay before chari- table gentlemen, the iiate of the Indians, to fo goe:id effe6l ; and that God had fince given him oppon uni- ty to write to them further concerning thcie affairs; and to write other letters of importance, that he hop- ed might be of good influence with regard to the flate Oi religion among the Indians, and eifewhere, after his death. He alfo mentioned it as what he ac- counted a merciful circamftance of hi? death, that he fliould die here. And fpeaking of thefe things, he faid, '' God had granted him all his defire and fignihed, that now he cculd with the greater alacrity leave the workl.^ Monday. September 28. I was able to read, and make fome few correftions in my private writings ; but found I could not write, as I had done ; I found myfelf fenfibly declined-in all refpetls. It has beea only from a little while before noon, till about one or two o'clock, that I have been able to do any thing for fome time pafl : yet this refreihed my heart, that I could do any thing, either public or private for God. [This evening, he was fuppofcd to be dying : he thought fo himfeif, and was thought fo by thofe who were about him. He feemed glad at the appearance of death. He was alrnoft fpeeehlefs, but his lips ap- peared to move : and one that fat very near hi'in, heard him utter, " Come, Lord Jefas, come quick- ly. — Oh, why is his chariot fo long in coming !'*— Af[er herevivedj he blamed himfclf for having been \V 2, too ( 244 ) too eager to be gone. And in cxpi-efTing what he tound in his mind at that time, he faid, he then found an ioexprefli'oiy fweet love to thofe that he looked upon as beloJigi7ig to Chrifl, beyond all that ever he felfc before ; fo that it " feemcd (to ufe his own words) like a little piece of heaven to have one of them near liim/' And being afked, whether he heard the prayer that was (at his defire) made with him ; he, laid Yes, he heard every word, and had an un- common fenfe of the things that were uttered in that prayer, and that every word reached his heart." On the evening of Tuefday, September 29, as he. lay in his bed, he feemcd to be in an extraordinary frame ; his mind greatly engaged concerning the profperity of Zion : there being prefent at that time two candidates for the viinijlry^ he defired us all to unite in fmgirsg a Pfalm on that fubjeft, even Z ion's profperity. And on his defire we fung a part of the idzd Pfalm. This feemed much to refrefh him, and gave him new (Irength ; fo that, though before he could fcarce fpeak at all, now he proceeded, with fome freedom of fpeech, to give his dying counfels to thofe two young gentlemen, relating to that great M'^ork of the mini ft ry they were defigned for ; and in particular, earneftly recommended to them frequent iccvQlfaflifig znd prayer : and enforced his counfel ■with regard to this, from his own experience of the- great comfort and benefit of it; which (faid he) I ihould noi mention, were it not that lam a dying per- fon. And after he hadfinifbed his counfel, he made a prayer, in the audience of us all ; wherein, befides prayiiog for this family, for his brethren, and thofe candidates for the miniftry, and for his ov/n congre- gation, he earneflly prayed for the reviving and- flourifhing of religion, in the world. Till now, he had every day fat up part of the day ; but after this he never rofe from his bed.] Wednefday, September 30. I was. obliged to keep my bed the whole day, through weaknefs.'^ However I redeemed a little time, and with help of my: ( H5 ) my brother, read arid corrected about a dozen pages in my M. S. giving an account of my conyerfion, Friday, 06lober 2. My foul was this day, at turns, fweetly fet on God : I longed to be with him, that 1 iriight l-ehoU his glory : i felt fweetly difpo fed to com- m-it all to him, even my deareft friendsj niy deareil flock, and ray abfent brother, and all my concerns for time and eternity. Oh that his kingdom might come into the world ; that they might all love and glorify him; and that the bleiTcd Redeemer might " fee of the travail of his foul, and be fatisned ! Oh, come, Lordjefus, come quickly ! Am.en,'''+ [ The next evening v/e much expected his brother John from New-jerfey; it being about a week after the time thai propoled for his ?eturn. And though oar cxpetlations v^^e fttll difappointed ; -yet Mr. lirciiiierd Lemed to continue unmoved,^ in the fame calm iVame,-that he had bf.fore m-anifefted ; as having religned all to God, and- having-done Avitii' his friends, and v/ith all things here belcv/. On the morning of the next day, beirig I^ord's.day,. O^ober 4, as my daughter Jerufha : who chiefly tend-- edhim) came into the room, he looked on her very pleafantly, and faid, ^- Dsar Jeruiha, are you wil- ling to part with me ? — I am quite \villing- to part with you ; I am willmg to part with all my friends : I am willing to pari with my dear brother John, al- though I love him the beft of any creature living ; I have committed him and all my friends to God, and can leave them with -Gog, ^ Though-, if 1' thought I fliould not fee you, and be happy wrttr you in ano- ther v^orld I could not bear to part with you. But we fliall fpend an happy eternity together}"'* In the evening, as one came into the room wiih a.Bibk in W.3 . her f Hers evJs his- diary : ihejc are- iM Isiii words, th/it ere zcnttoi in it, either his on)n hand, crj-rovi his mouln, * Since iliis. U has pkaft ay obtain th.^ prize ^ and obtain that compleat happinefs, to be holy, as God is holy." So wifhing and praying that you may advance in learning and grace, and be fit for fpecial feivicc for God, 1 remain- Your affedionate Brother, ■ David Braine^o,, . i 251 ) To his Brother John, at Yale-college in New-Haven, Dear Brother, ~ Kaiaiaumeek^ Dec.^j^ 1743» I Long to fee you, and know how you fare in yoi r journey through the world of forrow, where we \ are compared about with " vanity, confufion, and vexation of fpirit." I am more weary of life than ever I was. The whole rt'criii, appears to me like a vaft empty fpace, whence nothing dcfirable, or at ieafl fatisfaftoiy, can poflibly be derived, and I long, daily to die more and more to it; even though I obtain not that comfort from fpiritual things which I earnefily dcfire. Worldly pleafures, fuch as fiow from greatnefs, riches, honours, and fenfual gratih- cations, are inhnitely zcorfe than none. May tlio Lord deliver us more and more from thefe vanities ! I have fpent mofh of the fall and winter in a very weak flate of body ; and fometimes under prefTing inward trials, but " having obtained help from God, I coratinue to this day;" and am now fometliing bet:er in health. I find nothing more conducive to ^Viitt oi Clirijiianity^ than a diligent and faithful im- provement of precious iiW. Let us then faithfully perform that buhnefs, which ij allotted us by divine providence, to the utmoft of our bodily flrength and mental vigour. 'Why fhould we fmk with any par- ticular trials, and perplexities, we are called to en- counter in the world ? Deith and eternity arc juft be- fore us; a few toiTmg billows more will waft us to the world of fpirits, and we hope (through infi- nite grace) into endlefs pleafures. Let us then " run with patience the race that is fct before us." And Oh that we could depend more upon the living God, and lefs upon our own wifdom and flrength ! — Dear brother, may the God of all grace com^oxl your heart, and fuceeed your ftudies, and make you an inftru-. ment of good to his people. This is the conftant prayer of .Your afdiionaii Brcthr, David Br.ainerd. To (- ) To his Brother Ifrael, at Haddarrio Mj> dear Brother, Kaunaumeek, ^an, 21, ly ''T'^HERE is but one thing, that defences our A higheft care ; and that is, that we may an- fwerthe great ewi/, for which we were made, viz. to glorify that God, who has given us our beings and all our comforts, and do all the gccd we poffibly can to Qux fellow -creatures, while we live in the world ; and verily life is not worth the having, if it be not em- ployed for this noble end. Yet; alas, how little is this thought of] Mofl men love to live to ilumfelves, without regard to the glory of God, or the good of their fellow creatures : they earneftly dehre, and eagerly purfue the riches, honours, and pleasures of life, as if they really fuppofed that wealth, or great- nefs, or merriment, could make their immortal fouls happy. But, alasj v/hat falfe and delufive dreams are thefe ! And how miferable will thefe ere long be, who are not awaked out of them, to fee, that all their happinefs confiilsin livi?igto God, and becoming " holy, as he is holy !" Oh, may you never fail into the tempers and vanities, the fenfuality and folly of theprefent world! You are left, as it were, alone in a wide world, to a£l for yourfelf ; be fure then to re- member, it is a world oi' temptation. You have no earthly parents to form your youth to piety, by their examples and feaibnable counfels ; let this excite you with great diligence and fervency to look up to the lather cj- mercies for grace and alfifiance againft all Ihe vanities of the world. And if you would glorify Godj anfwer his juft expeftations from you, and make your own foul happy in this and the coming world, obferve thefe few iiiJT^/ynj ; though not from a father, yet from a brother who is touched with a sender concern for your prefent and future happi- nefs. And, Firft, Rcfolve upon, and daily endeavour to pra6life a life jeriovfnejs^ Think of the life of ( Hi ) Chrift ; and wlien you can find that he was pleafcd with jefting, then you may indulge it in yourfelf. Again, Be careful to make a good improvement of precious time. When you ceafe from labour, fill up your time in reading, meditation, and prayer ; and while your hands are labouring, let your heart be employed, as much as poffible in divine thouglits. Further, Take heed that you faithfully perform tlie bufinefs you have to do in the world, from a re- gard to the commands of God. We fliould always look upon ourfelves as God's fervants, placed in God's world to do his work ; and accordingly labour faith- fully for him ; not with a defign to grow rich and great, but to glorify God, and do all the good we polBbly can. Again, Never expeft /io/^i/^zn^ from^ th.e world. If you hope for happinefs in the Vv^orld, hope for it from God, and not from the world. Do not think you fhallb^more happy, if you live to fuch or fuch -a ftate of life, if you live to be for yourfelf, to be fet- tled in the world, or if you fliould gain an eitate in it: but look upon it that you fhall then be happy ^ when you can be conftantly employed for God, and . not for yourfelf ; and deure to live in this v/orld, only to do and jujfer what God allors to you. When you can be' of the fpirit and temper of angels, who are willing to come down into this lov/er v/orld, to perform what God commands them, thougli their dc- fires are heavenly, and not in the lead fet on cartlily things, then you will be of that temper tb.at you ought to have. ; Once more, Never think that you can live to God .hy your own {txtngih \ but alwavs look to, and rely on lam for ainfiance, yea, for a,U fiirengt'n and grace. There is no greater truth than this, that wc can do nothing of ourfelves yet nothing but our own experience can effectually teach it to us. Indeed we are along time in learning, that all ourfhrength and falvation is in God. This is a life, that no unconvert- ed rrian can live i yet it is a life that qvztw _^odly foul ( ^54 ) ^spreffing after. Let it then be your great ccncera devote yourfelf and your all to God, I long to fee you, that I may fay much more to you than 1 now can, but 1 defire to commit you to the Father of mercies^ and God of all grace ; praying that you may be direded fafely through an evil zoorld, to God's htavcrdy kingdom. I am your ajfedionak loving brotJier, David Brainerd. To a fpccial Friend* The Forks of Delaware >, July '^\^ ^744* /^E'/ talnly the greatcftj the noble ft pleafure of V_y intelligent creatures muft refult from their acquaintance with the blcifed God, and with their- own immortal fouls. And Oh, how divinely fweet 3S it, to look into our own fouls, when we can lind all our paffions united and enga-i^d in pur- fuit after God, our whole fouls paffionat'ely breath- ing after a cor^.formity to him, and the full enjoy- ment of him! Verily there are no hours pa fs away with fo much pleafure, as thofe that are fpent in communing with God and our own hearts. Oh, how fv/eet is a fpirit of devotion, a fpirit of feriouf- nefs and divine Solemnity, a fpirit of gofpel fnnpli- city, love^ tendcrnefs ! Oh, how defirable, and how profitable to the Chriftian life, is a fpirit of holy watchfulnefs, and godly jealoufy over ourfelves j when ourielves are afraid of nothing fo much as that we fliaLl grieve and offend the blelfed God^ whom we apprehendj to be d.jather and a friendj whom we then love and long to pleafe ! Surely- this is a temper, worthy of the higheix ambition and clofeft purfuitof intelligent creatures. Oh, how vaftly fuperior is the peace, and fatisfaflion drrived from thefe divine frames, to that which we fometimes purfae in things impertinent and trifling ! our own bitter experience teaches us, that in the mddft of fuch laughter the heart is forrowful," and there is no true fatisfaftion at in God, But, alas I how fnall we obtain and re- tain ( ) tain this (wect fpirlt of religion? Let us follov/ the apoftle's dirctition, Phil. ii. 12, and labour upon the encouragement he there mentions, for it is God only can afford us this favour; and he will be Jourht, and it is fit we fhould wait upon him for f ) rich a mercy. Oh, may the God of all grace alTjrd us tlie infljcnc'^s of his Spirit: and help us that may fro.n our hearts efbeejn it our greatcil liberty and hip- pinefs, that whether we live, we may live to the Lord, or whether we die, Vv^e may die to the Lord that in life and deadu we m.iy be his I I am m a very poor ft ute of health : but through divine goodnefs, I am not difcontented : I blefs God for this retirement: I never was more thankful for a.ny thing, than I have been of late for the nccelhty 1 am under of felf-denial : I love to be a p'diririL and Jifangcr in this v/ildernefs : it feems moft fit for fuch a poor ignorant, worthlefs creature as L I would not change my prefent virjion for any other buunefs in the whole world. I may tell you freely, God has of late given me great freedom and fervency in prayer when I have been fo weak and feeble, my nature feemed as if it would fpeedily difTolve. . I feel as. if my ail was ioft, and I wa^ undone, if the poor Hea- then be not converted. I feel different from what L di-d when I fav/ you laft, more cruci/ied to all the en- joyments of life, it would be very refrefliing to me, to^^ee you here in this defert; efpeciciliy in my weak' difconiblate hours ; but, I could be content never to fee you, or any of my friends again in this vv-orld, if Go.d would blefs my labours to the converfion of the pQor Indians. I have much that I could willingly communicate to you, which I muff omit, till providence gives us leave to fee each other. In the mean time, 1 reff Your obligej.jricnd andferxjant, David Brainerd. To ( =56 ) To his Brother John, at College. - Crofweckfung, in Nezv-Jeyfey^ Dec. 28, 1745. Very Dear Brother^ ~T Am in one continued and uninterrupted hur- A. ry ; and divine providence throws To much f^::OD me, that I do not fee it v/iil ever be otherv^'ife. May I " obtain mercy of God to be faithful to the death!'' I cannot fay, I am weary of my hurry; I only want flrength and grace to do more for God. My dear brother, The Lord of heaven^ that has car- ried me through many trials, bkjs you; blefs you for time and eternity ; and fit you to do fervice for him in his church below, and to enjoy his blifsful pre- fence in his church triumphant. My brother ; " the time is fhort Oh let us fill it up for God ; let us count the fufferiiigs of this prefent time" as no- thing, if we can but " finifh our courfe with joy.'' Oh, let us flrive to live to God. I blefs the Lord, I have nothing to do with earthy but only to labour honeflly in it for God, till I fhall " accomplifh as ail hireling my day." I do not defirelo live one mi- nute for any thing that emlh can afford. Oh, that I could live for none but God, till my dying moment! / amyour affedionate brother^ David Brainerd. " To his Brother Ifrael, at College, written a few Months before his Death. My dear brother, Bojlon, June 2,0^ ^7A7* "f T is from the fides of eternity I nov/ addrefs you. I am heartily forry, that I have fo little ftrength to v/rite v/hat 1 long to communicate to you. But let me tell you, my brother, eternity is another thing -than we ordinarily take it to be. Oh, how vafi: and boundlefs ! Oh, how fixed and unalterable! Oh, of what infinite importance is it, that we be prepared for eternity 1 I have been juft dying for more than a week ; and all around me have thought fo : but in this time I have had clear views of eternity : have ( H7 ) Bave feen the biefTecliicrb of the godl^- ; an-d have long- ed to fhare their happy (late ; as well as been com- fortably fatisfied, that l fhall do fo ; bui Oh, what an- guifli is raifed in my mind, to think of an dernify for thole who are ChrifiLfs, for thofe w^ho bring their falfe hopes to the grave with them i The figh.t \vas fo dreadful, I could by no means bear it : my thoughic recoiled, and f faid, " Who can dwell with ever- lafiing burnings Oh. methought, that I could' now fee my friends, that -I might warn them, to fee to it, they lay their foundation tor eternity fure. And you, my dear brother, I have been particularly concern- - cd for; and have wondered 1 fo much negle^ed con- vcr:ing Vv-ith you' about youY fpiritual ftate at our lad meeting. Oh, let me bef^ech you naV/ to- examine, •\\''hether you are indeed a vc:o creature f Whethertlic rlory of God has ever been the highefi: concern v.^ith \ ou whether you have ever been reconciled to all the perietrions of God ? In a word, whether God has been your portion, and a holy conformity to i nn vour chief delight ? if you haveredfon to think \ ou 'dvc grarel^/s. Oh give yourfelf and the. throne c^f g-ace no reft,' till God arife and fave. But if the cafe ihDuld be cthenvife, blefs ■ God fo-r -his grace, and prefs after holinefs. Oh, my dear brotl^cr, flee ilcrnly'/i^'^j-,' and the in- clranting amufernaits. as well as QOYvwYAdocirincs of the pixfenr dav : and fbrive lo Lii/e tu^ God, . Take this c;s Ui^ • 1 afi i in e f rom Ylva^- aJJ-ccdQ7iate dybig ti'jtJicr, David Braixeeq. To a young Gentlem.an, a Candidcte for the Minifcij^ \ written at ihe fam^e Time. Ve')y Dear Sir^ - 0\V amazing ix is, that the living who knozi' thsv vhij: die^ -Puould -notwithftanding- " put far avv'ciy the evil day," in. a feafon of health- and prof- ]!erity : and live at fach an awful diflance from ih^- grave. a.:id the great concerns beyond it ! And efpe- - ( ^58 ) f'ally, that any whole minds have been divinely en- ]i,.^hteiied, to behold the impoitsnt things cttrndy Ihould live in this ir.anher. And yet, Sir, liow fre- quently is this the cafe ? How rare are the inftances of thofe who live and atr, from day to day, as on the vcrgQ Qi dernity ; ftriving to fill up all their ren^ain- ing moinents, in the iervicCj and to the honour of their great Mafitr ? We infenfibly trifle away time, while we fee:n to have enough of it; and are f«3 urangely amufed, as in a great meafure to lofe afenfi of the holinefs. necelTary to prepare us to be inhabi- tants of the heavenly paradifz. But, OIi, dear Sir, a dyh^!^ bed, if we enjoy our reafon will give another view of things. I have novv^, for more than three weeks, lain under the greateft weaknefs ; the greater part of the time, expefting daily and hourly to enter into the eternal world : fometimes have been fo far gone, as to be fpeechlefs for fome hours together. And Oh, of what vafl importance has a holy fpiri- tual life appeared to me to be in this feafon ! I have longed to call upon all my friends, to make it their bufinefs to live to God ; and. efpecially all that are de- fjgned for, or engaged in the fervice of the fan6luary. O dear Sir, do not think it enough, to live at the rate of comvion Chnjlians. Alas, to how little purpofc ■do they often converfe, when they meet together ! The vilits, even of thofe who are called Chriflians indeed, are frequently quite barren ; and confeience cannot but condemn us for the mifemployment of time, v/hile we have been converfant with them. But the way to enjoy the divine pr^fence, and be hUed for his fefvice, is to live a life of great devotion ?.nd.ccnfl(i7it felf-dedication to him ; -obferving the mo- tions and difpohtions of our own hearts, whence we may learn the corruptions that lodige there, and our conftant need of help from God for the perfor- mance of the leafb duty. And Oh, dear Sir, let me befcech you frequently to attend the great and pre- cious djjties of fecretfafiing and prayer. 1 have a fecret thought from fome things I have ebferved, that God may perhaps defign you for fame iingulaif ( ^59 ) fmgular fervice in ths world. Oh then labour to be prepared and qualiricd to do much for God. Suffer me to intreat you earneftly to give yourfelf to prayer, to reading and meditation" on divine truths : ftrive to penetrate to the bottom of ihem, and never be content with a fuperficial knowledge. By this means, your thoughts will grovv' weighty and judi- cious; and you thereby will be pofTeffed of a valuable treafure. out of which you may produce " things new and old,'' to the glory of God. And now. " i commend you to the grace of God earnefily defiring, that a plentiful portion of the di- vine Spirit may reft upon you; that you may live to God in eveiy capacity, and do abundant for him in public, if it be his will ; and. that you may be richly qualified for the "inheritance of the faints in light.'* I fcarce expeft to fee your face any m-ore in the body ; and therefore intreat you to accept this as the laft token uFlove, from Yourjinctrdy affcciionaie dying frknd^ David Brai^'erd. To his Brother John, at Bethel, the Town of Chrif- tian Indians in New-Jerfey, written at Boilon, be- fore his death. Dear Brother. I AM now juft on the verge of eternity, expelling very fpeedily to appear in the unfeen world. I feel myfelf no more an inhabitant on earth, and fome- times earneftly long to " depart and be with Chrift." I blefs God, he lias for fome years given m.e an abid- ing convittion. that it is impoifibie for any rational creature to enjoy true happinefs without being entire- ly devoted to him." Under the influence of this convi£lion I have in fome meafure afted : Oh that I had done more fo 1 I faw both the excellency and neceflity of holinefs ; but never in fach a manner as noW; v^'hen I am juft brought to the fides of the grave. Oh, my brother, purfue after holinefs : prefs t<3wards the bicilcd mark ; and let your thirfty foul continually {- 26o eolitinually fay, I {kail never be fatisfied fill t ' fi vvake in thy likenefs.** And now, my dear brother^ as I muft prefs yo.u to^ purfue ^hcr per/on al holinefs, to be as much in jajiing and prayer as your health will alloW) and to live above the rate oi common Chnjtians fo I muftintreat. you to attend to your public work ; labour to diftin-' guil"h betu'^een true- and falfe religiot^; and to that- end, watch the motions of God Spirit upon your own heart; look to him for help, and impartially. Lompare your experiences with his word. Charge .my people* in the .name of their dyingmi- ■ 7ufier, yca^ in the name, of hzm- who was .dead and is ■ edivt, to live ar-td-walk as becomes the g.ofpel. Tell them, how ., great the exp-eftations of Gad and his p-eople are from them, and how awfully, they will wound God's caufe^ if they fall into vice : as well as fatally prejudice other poor Indians, . Always infiif, that their joys are deJufive, although they may have , been rapt :up into the third heavens, uniefs the "main . tcnour of their lives be fpiritual, watchful and holy, 3n prefiing thefe things. " thou fhak both fave thy- - fclf, and thofe that hear thee." — God knows, I was heartily wiHing to have ferved him longer in the work 'of the- minillry, although it had ftili been attended with all the la.bours and hard- fiiips of paft years, if he had feen fit that it fhould bn; ib : but as his will now appears otherwife, I am fully . content, - and "can with the utmoft fr-eedom ' fay, .. *• The -will of the Lord^ be.done." It affefts , me, tc-- * think of leaving you in a world of fin ;- my- heart pi- ties you, that thofc ftorms- and fempefls are yet be- - fore you, Vv^hich thro.ugh grace I am almoft" deliver- ed from. But "God lives, and blelfed be my. Rock :" he is the .fame Almighty friend ; and will, ^ I tl-uft, .be your guide and hclper, as he has been mine. And now, my dear brother, I commend you to God and to the word of his grace, which is able to Wild you up, and give you inheritance among all ( ) them that arc fanftified." May you enjoy the divine prefence, both in private and public ; and may " the arms of your hands be made ftrong, by the right hand of the mighty God of Jacob !" Which are the paflionate defires and prayers of Your offeBionate dying brother^ David Brainerb* S O M S Refle£lions Obfervations ON. T H Fteceding Memoirs of Mr. BRAINERD. I. '\'KT E have here an opportunity, in a very V V lively iriflavce^ to fee the nature of true re- ligion ; and the mariner of its operation when exempli- ijed in a high degree and powerful exercife. Parti- cularly it may be obferved, , 1. Kow greatly Mr. Brainerd's religion differed from that of fome pretenders to faving converfion\ who depending on that, fettle in a cold, carelefs, and carnal frame of rnind, and in a negle£t of the tho- rough earnefl religion, Although his convitlions and converfion were in all refpccts exceeding clearj yet how far was he from a£ting as though hfe thought he hsid got through his work^ when once he had obtain- ed comfort and fatisfaftion of his intereft in Chrifl ? On the contrary, that work on his heart, by which he was-brought to this, was with him but the begin- ning of his work, his firft entering on the great bufi- ricfs. of religion, his firfl: fetting out in his race. His obtaining refl in Chrift, after earneft flriving to en- ter in at the ftrait gate, he did not look upon as putting an end to any further occafion for ftriving and violence in religion : but thefe were connnued^ and maintained conftantly, through all changes, to the very end of life, He continued preffmg for- ward- ( 263 ) Avard. forgetting the things that v/ere behind, and reaching -forth towards the things that ^v'er^ before. His pains and earneflnefs in rehgiorv were rather increafed than diminifhed, after he had received fatisfaftion concerning the fafcty of his ftate. Thofe divine principles, love to God, and longings after holinefs, was more effectual to en- gage him to pains and aftivity in religion, than fear of hell had been before. And as his converfion was not the end of his work, or of his diligence and drivings in religion; fo nei- ther was it the end of the zoork of the Spirit of God on his heart: but on the contrary, the beginning of that work ; the firfl: dawning of the light, which thence- forward increafed m.ore and more ; the beginning of his holy aifeftions, his forrow for fm, his love to God, his rejoicing in Chriff, his longings after holi- nefs. And the powerful operations of the Spirit of God herein, were carried on, from the day of his converfionj to his dying day. His religious experi- ences, his admiration, joy, and praife, did not only hold for a few days, weeks, or months, while hope and comfort were new things with him : and then gradually die away, till they came to leave him without any fcnhble experience or holy and divine affetlions, for months together; as it is with many, who after the nev/nefs of things is over, foon come to that pafs, that it is again with them much as it is ufed to be before their fappofTd converfion, with ref- pe8: to any prefent views of God's glory, or ardent outgoings of their fouls after divine objefts : butonly now and then they have a comfortable reue61ion 011 times paft ; and fo reft eafy, thinking all well ; they have had a good clear work, and they doubt not but they fliall go to heaven when they die. flow far otherwife was it with Pvlr. Brainerd, than it is with fach perfons ! His experiences, infleari of dying away, were evidently of an increafing nature.. His firft love, and other holy affections, even at the be- ginning were very great; but after months and year.-:, became much greater, and more remarkable ; and the ( ) the rplritual exercifes of his mind continued exceed- ing great, (though not equally To at all times, with-- out remifiiiefs, and without dwindling and dying away, even till his deceafe. They began in a time of general deadnefs, and were greatly mcreafed in a time of general reviving of religion. And when re- ligion decayed again, and a general deadnefs return- ed, his experiences were ftilikept up in their height, and fo continued to be, in a general courfe where- cver he was, in ficknefs and in health, living and dy- ing. The change that was wrought in him at his converfionjWas agreeable to fcripture-reprefentations, a great change, and an abiding change, rendering him a new man, a new creature : not only a change as to hope and comfort ; and a tranfient change, con- fifhing in paffmg afFeftions ; but a change nature^ a change of the abiding habit and temper of his mind. Nor a partial change, merely in point of opinion, or outward reformation, much lefs a change from one error to another, or from one fm to another : but an univerfal change, both internal, and external, from the habits and ways of fin, univerfal holinefs. It appears plainly, from his converfion to his death, that the great obj eft of the new fen fe of his mind, the new appetites given him in his converfion, and thenceforward maintained and increafed in his hearts was holiness, conformity to God, living to God, and glorifying him. This was what drew his heart; this was the centre of his foul ; this was the ocean to Vvhich all the ftreams of his religious affec- tions tended : this was the objeft that engaged his eager defires and earneft purfuits : he knew no true excellency or h-appinefs, but this : this was what he longed for m^ofh vehemently and conftantly on earth ; and'this was with him the beauty and blclfednels of heaven, to be perfeftly holy, and pcrfeftly exercifed in the holy employments of heaven ; to glorify God, and enjoy him for ever. His religious affetlions were attended with even- gelical humiliation ; confifting in a fenfe of his own in- fufiiciency, dcipicablencfs, and odioufnefs. How deeply ( 265 ) deeply afFefted was he almoft continually with his great defetls in religion ; with his vaft diftance from that fpirituality that became him; with his ignorance, pride, deadnefs, unfteadinefs. barrennefs ? He was not only affefled with the remembrance of his for- mer hnfulnefs, but with the fenie of his prefent vilenefs and pollution. He was not only dif|5ofed to think meanly of himfelf as htforC God, and in cora- parifon of him ; but amongft men, and compared with them. He was apt to think other faints better than he: yea, to look upon himfelf as the m.eanefh - andleail of faints; yea, very often as the vilefl: and vv'orft of mankind. And notwithPtanding his great attainments in fpiritual knowledge, yet we find there is fcarce any thing he is more frequently abafed with, tlian his ignorance. How eminently did he appear to be of a meek and QKiet (pirit, refembling the lamb-like, dove-like Spi- rit ol Chrifl ! how full of love, mecknefs, quietnefs, forgivenefs, and mercy ! His love Vv'as not merely fondncfs for a paity. but an uni\'crfal benevolence; onen excrcifed in the moft fenfiblcand ardent love to his greatefl oppofers and enemies. His love and mceknefs were not outward pauion and fnew : but they were efiectual things, manifeilin expcnhve and painful deeds of love and kindnefs ; readily con- feding faults under the greatefl trials, and humbling himfelf even at the feet of tliofe from whom he had fjiicred moft : and from time to time praying for his enemies, abhorring thr-^. thoughts of biiternefs and refcntment towaids them. I Icarcc knovv- Vv'here to look for a parallel inflance of fclf-dcijial, in thefe reij:)ecls, in the prefent age. He was a perfon of great zeal: but how did he abhor a bitter zeal, and lament it where he fa^yit ! and thou^rh he was once drawn into fome desrees of it. bv the force of ex- ample ; yet how did he go about with a he^rt bruifed and broken in pieces for it all his life after ! Ofhow/i^'f and ieiider a. iVnii wds he 1 How far VN-ere his experiences, hopes, and joys, from a ten- dency to Icfien conviftion and tendernefs of confci- Y encc;. .( .56 ) ence. to caufe him to be lefs affefled with prefeGt and paft fins, and lefs confcientious with refpeft to future fins, more eafy in the negleft of duties that - are troublefome and inconvenient, lefs apt to be alarmed at his own defc6ls and tranfgrelfions, more eafily induced to a compliance with carnal appetites! .On the contrary, how tender was his confciencei 'how apt was his heart to fmite him ! how greatly was he alarmed at the appearance of evil ! how great .and conftant was'his jealouiy over his own heart I how' drift his care and watchfulnefs againft fm ! how deep and fenfible were the wounds that fm made in ■his confcience ! thofe evils that are generally ac- Gounted fmall, wercalmoftan infupportable burden to him ; fuch as his inward deficiencies, his having •no more love to God, findirig within himfelf any .flacknefs or dulnefs, any unftcadinefs, or wandering ■frame of mind, how did the confideration of fuch things as thefe abafe him, and fill him with Ihame ^nd confufion ! His love and hope, though they ;were fuch as caft out a fervile fear of hell, yet were attended with, and promoted a reverential filial fear ■ of God, a dread of fin, and of God's holy difplea- 'furc. 'His joy feemcd truly to be rejoicing with trembling. His alfurance and comfort promoted and maintained m.ourning for fin : holy mourning with him., was not only the work of an hour or a -day, at his firft converlion ; but he was a mourner for fin all his days. He did not, after he received fatisfaftion of the forg;ivenefs of his fins, forget his pad fins, that were committed before his converfion; but the remembrance of them from time to time, re- vived his heart with renewed grief: And how laft- ingly did the fins committed after his converlion, af- fe6f and break his heart! if he did any thing whereby he thought he had in any refpeft dilhonoured God, he had never done with calling it to mind with for- row : though he was aifured that God had forgiven it, yet he never forgave himfelf. And his prefent fins, that he daily found in himfelf, were an occafion of daily forrow of heart. His ( ^67 ) His religion was not like a blazing' meteor, flying; through the firmament with a bright train, and then quickly going out; but like the Ready lights of hea- ven, that are conftant principles of light, though fometimes hid with clouds. Nor like a land-flood, which flows far and wide, with a rapid flream, bearing down ail afore it, and then dried up; but like a ftream fed by living fprings ; which though fometimes increafed and at other times diminifhed, yet is a conjlant Jiream. Mr. Brainerd's comforts were not like thofc of fome other pcrfons, which arc attended with a fpi- ritual fcUiety, and put an end to their religious dc-= fires and longings, at leaf!: to the ardency oF them ; refling fatisfied, as having obtained tlieir chief end, which is to extinguifli their fears v-*)r h.^ll. On the contrary, how were they a Iv/ays attended with long- ings and thirftings after greater degrees of conformity to God! And the greater and fweeler his comforts \vere, ttje more vchciri'^nc were hi> dei'ires after ho- linefs. For hii itv -giUgs were not fo much after joy- ful difcovenes of God's love; as after greater fpiri- tuaiity, an heart more engaged for God, to love^ and exalt, and depend upon him ; an ability better to ferve him, to do more for liis glory. And hisde- fires were powerful and effcftual, to animate him fo the earnefl, eager puifuit of thefe Things. Kis comforts never put an end to his feeking after God, but greatly engaged and enlarged him therein. His religion did not confifh only in experience^ VinihouX practice. All his comforts had a direft ten- dency to praftice ; and this, not merely a praftice negatively good, but a praftice pofitively holy and Chriftian, in a ferious, devout, humble, meek, merciful, charitable, and beneficent converfation; making the fervice of God, and our Lord Jefus Chrift, the great bufinefs of life which hepurfued with the greateft earneflnefs and diligence to the end of his days. nr. The foregoing account m«iy afford matter of convidion, that there is indeed fuch a thing as true y 2 txperi" ( 268 ) fxperiviental religion, arifing from immediate divine in- lluences, fupernaturally enlightening and convinc- ing the mind, and powerfully quickening, fanftify- ing, and governing the heart ; which religion is in- deed an amiable thing, of happy tendency, and of no hurtful confequence to human fociety ; notwith- ilanding there have been many pretences to experi- jnental religion, that have proved to be nothing but aithufiafm. If any infift, that Mr. Brainerd's religion was cn- thufinfm, I would alk, if fuch things as tbefe are the fruits of enlhufiafm, viz. honefty and fi.mplicify, imcere and earncft defires and endeavours, to know and do whatever is right, and to avoid every thing that is wrong I an high degree of love to God, plac- ing the happinefs of life in him ; not only in con- tem>plating him, but in being aftive in pleafing, and fervinghim; a. ftrni and undoubting belief in the Mefliah, as the Saviour of the v/orld ; together with great love to him, dilight and complacence] in the way of falvation by him, and longing for the enlarge- rnentef his kingdom; uncommon refignation to the will of God, and that under vafh trials; univerfal !:senevolence to mankind, reaching all forts of per- ions without diftin6lion, manifelled in fv/eetnefs of fpeech and behaviour, kind treatment, m.ercy, li- berality, and earneft feeking the good of the fouh and bodies of men ; attended Vv^ith extraordinary hu- mility, meeknefs, forgivenefs of injuries, and love lo enemies ; a modeft, difcreet, and decent deport- ment, among fuperiors, inferiors, and equals ; a di- ligent improvement of time, arsd earneft care to lofe no part of it; great watchfulnefs againfi all forts of fin, of heartj fpeech, and a6lion : and the foregoing amiable virtues all ending in a marvellous peace, un- moveabie calmnefs, and refignation, in the fentible approaches of death : I fay, if ail, thefe things are ih(ih'\x\t% oienth\LfiaJm, why fliould aot enthufiafm be thought a deiirable and excellent thing ? And whereas there are many who are not profelTed oppofers of what is called experimental rek^ian, who ( ) vet doubt of the reality of it, from the bad lives of fome profeffors ; and are ready to determine that there is nothing in all the talk aboiit being born ayam^ brciight to Chyl, czc. becaufs many that pretend ro thele things_. manifeit no abiding alteration in their.. difpofition and behaviour ; are as carcleD. carnal, or covetous as ever; yea, fome much worie thau ever: it is acknovvledged, that this is tlie cafe widi fome ; but, by. the preceding account they may fee it is not fo with all. There are fome mdifputable in fiances of fuck a change, a '* renovation of the r^^irit of the mind,'"' aiid a" walking in newnefs 'of ' life." In the foregoing inftanc^ particularly, they, may fee tlie abiding influence of fuch a work of con- • verfion ; the fruits of fuch experience through a courfe of years; under.a, great variety of circum- ftances and tlie bleCTed event of it in life and death. IV, Is there not much in the preceding memoirs, to teach, and excite to daty. us who are called to tlie work . the. vivii/Iry ? What a deep fen fe had. he of the greatnefs and im_portance of that work, and . wich what weight did. J t he. .on his mind ! how ienfible was lie of his own injufHcicncy for .this work : and. how great v/as liis dependance on .God's fufiiciency ! . how folicitous, that he might be fittted for it i and . to this end. ho.w m.^uch time did he fpend in prayer and fafting, as well as reading and meditation ; riv- ing hivifelf to thfje things! how did he dedicate his whole life, .all his powers and talents to God: and. forfake and renounce tlic world, with ail its pleafmg and er.fnaring enjoyments, that he might be wholly at iibert\-. to. ferve Chrilt in this 'work: ar.d to pleafe him who had chofen him to be a foldier, . under the Captain of our falvation !''' Vv'ith what folicitude. folemnity,. and diligence did he devote him.felf to God our. Saviour, and feek his prefence ar d bleUmg, at the time of his ordination ! and how did his whole heart appear. to be conftantlv engaged, . his whole time employed, .and his wi^olc ftrength'. fpent in the buhncis he then undcriook ! — —And ins hiliory fhews us the right way to Jud'js in the. woik .. ( ) of the nnniftiy. He fought it as a refolute foldier feeks viftory, in a fiege or battle ; or as a man that runs a race for a prize. Animated with love to Chrift and fouls, how did he labour always fer- vently," not only in word and do6lrine, in public and private, hut in prayers d^.y and night, " wreftling with God" in fecret, and "travailing in birth," with unutterable groans and agonies, *• until Chrifk, were formed'' in the hearts of the people to whom he was fent! How did he third for ableflingr on his o miniflry ; and watch for fouls as one that muft give account !" How did he " go forth in the ftrength of the Lord God depending on a fpecial influence of the Spirit to affift him Y and what waS' the happy fruit at laft, though after long waiting,, and many difcouraging appearances! Like a true fon of Jacob, he perfevered in wreftling, until the break- ing of the day. ^ V. The foregoing account may afford inftruftion- io Chrijiians in general; as it fhews, in many refpefts,.. the right way of praEiijing religion, in order to ob- taing the ends of it;, or how Chriflians fhould " run the race fet before them," if they would not run as uncertainly," but would honour Gcd in the v/orld, adorn their profefTion, be ferviceable to mankind, have the comforts of religion while they live, be free from difquieting doubts ; enjoy peace in the approach of death, and finifli their ccurfe with joy." In general, he much recommended, for this purpofe, the redemption of time, and great di-^ ligence in watchjulncfs. And his exam.ple and fuccefs with regard to one duty in fpecial, may be ofgreat ufe to both minifters and private Chriftians : I mean the duty of fecret fafting. The reader has feen how much Mr. Brai- nerd recommends this duty, how frequently he ex- ercifed himfelf in it; and how much he was owned, and bleffed in it, and of what great benefit it evi- dently was to his foul. Among all the days he fpent m fecret fafting and prayer, there is fcarce an in- ftance ofonej but what was attended with appa.- rent ( 271- ) rent fuccefs, and a remarkable bleffing, in fpecial incomes and confolations of God's fpirit. But I't? itiuft be obferved. that when he fet about this duty^ he did it in good earneft; " flirring up hinirelf to take hold of God," and continuing inflant in prayer." with much of the fpint of Jacob, ^v^hofaid. to the angel. "1 will not let thee go, except thou blefs me."' VI. One thing mere may be oi^fcrvedin the -pre-- ceding account of Mr. Brainerd; and that is, 't;ie remarkabk difpofal of divine providence, with refpetr- to the circ uwjt ances othis Vdii jukncfs and death. Though he had. been long inhrm> his cc-nft tution being much brokefl by his fatigues and hardG'iips ; and though he was often brought very low by ill- nefs, yet his life was preferred, 'till he had fecn that which he had fo long and greatly deiircd. a glo- rious work of grace among the Indians, And though it was the pleafjre of God, that he fhould be taken off from his Idbours-among that neo- pie, who were fo dear to him ; yet this was not be- fore they were well inftrufted in the chriflian reli-- gion, confirmed and fixed in the Chriftian faith ai]d, manners, forraedinto a church ; brought into a orood- way with refpeft to the education of children : col- iefted in a town by themfclves, on a good niece of land of their own ; and introduced inta the v/ay of living by hufbandry. Thefe things were but ju ft brought to pafs by his indefatigable application, and then he was taken off- from his work. If this had been but a little fooner. they would by no means liave been prepared for fuch a difpenfation ; and it probably would have been more to their, fpiritual interefi:, and of the caufe of Chriftianity among them. The time and circumftances of his illnefs were fo ordered, that he had juil opportunity to finiih bis Journal. A foundation was hereby laid for a con- cern in others for that caule, and proper care and meafures to be taken for the m.aintaining it after his death. As it has adually proved to be of great be- nefit n-efit in this refpeft ; it having excited ma-oy in thofe, parts, and alfo more diftant parts of America, to ex- ert themfelves for the promoting fo glorious a work), remarkably opening their hearts and hands : and not only in America, but in Great Britain,, where that Journal has been an occafion of fome large benefaftions, made for the promoting the in* tsreft of Chriftianity among the Indians. He was not taken off from the wo.rk of the mi- niftry among his people, 'till his brother. wdLS in a ca- pacity and circumftances to fucceed him .in his care of tliem : who fuccceds him in the like fpirit, and un- diiT whafe prudent andfaithfal care his congregation has ilouri filed, and been very happy, fince he left, them; and probably could not have been fo well provided for otherwife. If Mr. Brainerd had been difabled fooner, his . bwtJier, would by no means have., been ready to Hand up in his place; having taken liis firft degrees at college but about that very time that he was feized with this very faial confumption. Though in that winter that he. lay fK k at Mr. Dir kinfon's in Elifabeth-Town, he continued for a long- time in an extremely low ftate, fo that his life was almofl defpaired of, and his ftate was fometimes fuch . that it was hardly expefted he would live a day to an end ; yet his life was fpared awhile longer; he, lived to fee his brother arrived in New-Jerfey, be- ing come to fucceed him in the care of his Indians ; and he himfelf had opportunity to alTift in his exami- nation and introduftion into his- buiinefs : and tO; commit the conduct, of his dear people to one whom he well knew, and' could put confidence in, and ufe freedom with in giving him particular inftruftions and charges, and under whofe care he could leave his congregation with great chearfulnefs. The providence of God v/as remarkable in fo or- dering of it, that before his death he ih.ould take a journey into New -England, and go to Bofton ; which was, in many refpefts, of very great and hap- py confequences to the interell of religion, and efpe- cially among his ovv^n people. By this means, as has ( 273 ) been obferved, he was brought into acquaintance with many perfons of note and influence, minifters, and others, belonging both to the town and various parts of the country ; and had opportunity under the bc^fh advantages, to bear a teftimony for God and true religion. The providence of God was obfervable in his go- ing to Bofton at a time when not only the honoura- ble commilhoners were fceking miffionaries to the Six Nations, but jufl after his Journal, which gives an account of his labours and fuccefs among the In- dians, had been fpread at Boflon ; whereby his name was known, and the minds of ferious people were well prepared to receive his perfon, and the tefti- mony he there gave for God ; to exert themfelves for the upholding and promoting the intereft of reli- gion in his congregation, and amongft the Indians eifewhere ; and to regard his judgment coneernirig the qualifications of raiiTionaries. If he had gone there the fill bcfcrc, [\\±z:. ho n-d intended' to have made hisjaurney into New-England, but was prevented by a fudden great increale of his illnefs) it would not have been likely to have been to fo good effccl ; and alfo if he had not been unexpe£ledly de- tained in Bofhon; for when he went from my houfe, he intended to make but a very ihort liay there ; but divine providence by his being brought fo low there, detained him long; thereby to make way for the ful- filling its own gracious defigns. Thus, although it was the pleafure of God, that he Ihouid be taken away from his congregation ; yet it was granted to him, that before he died he fnould fee them well provided for every way : he faw them provided for v/ith one to inflrucl them, and taka care of their fouls ; his own brother, whom he could confide in : he faw a good foundation laid for the fupport of the fchool among them ; thofe things that, before were wanting in order to its being fijpplied ; and he hiad alfo opportunity, to leave all his dying charges with his fucceiTor in the pafcQral care of his ( ) people, and by him to fend his dying counfels to them. Another thing, wherein appears the merciful dif- pofal of providence, was, that he did not die in the wildernefs, among the favages, at Kaunaumeek, or the Forks of Delaware, or at Sufquahannah : but in a place where his dying behaviour might be obferv"- ed, and fome aceount given for the benefit of fur- vivers ; and alfo where care might be taken of him in his ficknefs, and proper honours done him at his death. I would not conclude my obfervations on tha merciful circumftances of Mr. Brainerd'sdeath, with- out acknowledging with thankfulnefs, the gracious difpenfation of providence to me and my family in fo ordering, that he (though the ordinary place of his abode was more than two hundred miles diftant) fhould be caft hither to my houfe, in his laft fick- nefs,