Duke University Libraries 
 ^^m^ 9 The soldier : 
 
 i^-j-. Conf Pam 12mo #921 
 
THE SOLDIER. 
 
 AN AFl'ECTJNV; NARKATIVF. • ^V FX'T:'. 
 
 It was one ol Mny't? swev^'osl moiiuiij:>i tliat ] mci a 
 
 clerjryman of the village of T) , and rocoivod from 
 
 him an invitation to he j-resont at a nifctini:; of brt'throu. 
 ill liis church. At tlio tirao aj>p(>iutt''(l I 'vasa thoire, nn»l 
 witli no Sinai! satisfaction listeuod tost:'v«ral who narra- 
 ted tlieir Christian cxperionce. It was at thid meeting I 
 met the suhjoct ot'tliis nan-ative. an-.l liear*! from his own 
 Hps the story of hifi wonJron^ wieke<lne.<.s against (lod, 
 and of (jod's more wondrous goodness and grace to him. 
 lie was in full "niilitary eostume;'' a younc man of fine 
 and prepo.ssossing appfaranre, aiiparently of good educa- 
 tion an«i deep-toned piety. He was the hast who a<Mres-!ed 
 the meeting, nor di<l he do so till after ])eing rep^atevUy 
 iinporlutuid by tlie clergyman, and even thon with mucii 
 secminj: reluetatiee. Rising ieisiir^ly, and fixin;^ his eyes 
 U|K)n the clergynjan, he proceeded as foHows: 
 
 •' I was boru in this viih-ige, and )iere reared by pions 
 j)arcnts, as many now present cat« te-tify. My d« ar 
 mother was ;i woman of more than ordinary pietv, iiiul 
 my father was a sincerely devoted and exempUiry Chris- 
 tian. Sir, I was as unworthy of sneh a parentage at: that 
 parcjitagc was desor\ipg of the liest of sons. 
 
 'M)f me it might justly be sai<l. I 'went astray from 
 the womb.' From my childliood n]>. I wandered from 
 tiod. tiU, when but a lad. I had become notorious lor mis- 
 chief and wickedness. My name was not only a.-isoeiated 
 with the vile and abandoned, but stood first on their list. 
 (>rten did my parents p-ray with me and forme; many 
 were the inslrnctions they imparted, the warnings, the 
 admonitions, the entreaties. and the corrections I received; 
 and many, too, the tears of sorrow and anxi«'ty they ^lie<l 
 lor me. But I was proof against all their etiorfs. an.l my 
 heart continued hard and unmove<l; and I» longed for 
 the time [ should be of age, that I might lia^e n in my 
 ]>o\\er to leave ntv father and mctlicr, an-li n;»'>(ra;i.e'Hv 
 
tuke my lill ot" nin. Tlic Iioly Sabbatli and the duily lioure 
 of laniily devotion I hated, and longed to get away from. 
 Many were the phms I hud and the echemes I formed to 
 get from under the parental roof; and not becansc I was 
 in love of a military life, l>nt beoaufie it -would at once 
 deliver me from ])arental authority and restraint, J en- 
 listed to he a soldier ; and the more effectually to get nd 
 of all and every thing having the appeantnce of religion, 
 or even the^ form of godlineee, I chose to enlist into a reg- 
 iment then in the Weet Indies. 
 
 " Beingthe only aon and the only child, it was too much 
 for the already broken heart of my tender mother to bear 
 up under, and praying for her unworthy child, she sunk 
 into the peaceful grave soon after my departure. My 
 father's grief was equally severe, and with tears he en- 
 treated me to allow him to buy me off. But no; my 
 hatred of religion, and perceiving no other way of escape 
 jrom it, determined nu' to reject his kind offer. Up to 
 this time, my mother had lioped I would repent of what 
 I had done, permit my fatlier to buy me off, and stay at 
 home. But, sir, the language is not yet framed which 
 could paint her sorrow and n\y iiardness, her love and 
 my indifi'ercnce, on this, to her, so distressing occasion. 
 O the mercy that could pdty and pardon a wretch like 
 me ! " 
 
 He now wept bitterly — -tried once aiid Mgain to spealc, 
 ])ut utterance failed him. When his feeling had some- 
 what subsided, he said, 
 
 "On her knee:;, sir, with tears she prayed mc not to 
 leave her. 'Your lather,' said s])e, 'will buy you oil". 
 ■(), my son — my only son — my only child, do not break 
 your mother's heart, and draw down the curse of God 
 upon your own head. Think of your precious soul. O, 
 what must hei'on)e of it, if yo\i become a sohher ! ' 
 
 " All in tears, my father satin |>ej)sive silence and be- 
 held the scene. J felt I loved them : gladly would ] have 
 staid at home — but their religion ! It was their religion, 
 sir, not them, I liated ; ar.d to get away from it, I resolved 
 to go away from them. 
 
 "My mother, ^ti'l -"li'-Iffj •• for niy everlasting "wclffirf, 
 "hen ijlic put 11)' "" <l'ib- , -ccfetcd a :njall LiiOc 
 
VtltliU) the folds nf one of luy shirts. Tlii;' I fuiu.J iioc 
 out till far at sea, wh<jVi, on chaugiiiL' luy linen, it dropt 
 out. When I paw the Bible I felt mad with ra/re, snatch- 
 ed it up. ran on df^ck, and ^afit it overheard aa far an I 
 could throw it. 
 
 " When I joined my regiment i-ri the West-Indies. 1 
 <^Afil oil' all rceti-aintfi, and siiioed wi.?li a l/iph hand. The. 
 pins I there committed inak* me tinnilde and bluph 
 nvhen I think of {hew. 1 stu<'k at nothiri*/;, how liad 
 .soever : I feared not God — he wti-n «ot m .iJl \n\ thoughts : 
 I regarded n-dt futusre eonsex^ltieni^'cK ; a«id, «r, notliiag hut 
 fTacc K'orihy of God — grace free and soDereuin — grace 
 abound iv (J to the chkf of .urowrs — grace that *<•<•/-* ar,djindi 
 tho fiinuer, before the sinner .<!e<?/c>- ^-r ;><^.5.v!.?«^«i<, C9>.dd hair 
 reached my case. Home, it th^cy wiJI, inay boast, their 
 ' M-ork.s:, ' h\it I mu«t ever say, "Not t«r work.s of righte- 
 ousne.ss that I have done, but accniv)ii)g to hi.=i jnercy he 
 eaved me." 
 
 '"Oh, to grac<.' kowgrt-ui a debJuj I 
 
 "T had gone Int-o the woods wlili my coTnprinlono "nv 
 ?in. whore wo sought to hide our guilt from tlie eyes of 
 :nen, when th<' so^md of dir tiint ' jj.-^ahn singing ' brr.krt 
 upon my car. ft was thx-^ tlrft I hnd heard mice I left 
 my fatlier'a hoof^e. My atteiitioti wasarrtbl^^d ; 1 5>too.i 
 f-ti!l and listened, and thoughts altogethir different frcu» 
 any which had heretofore occupied my mind, laid hohi 
 upon it: and tear.--, astoniphing mycelf unac< u?tr#med t.> 
 weep, ran from rav eve=:, ' Homi>^' stood before me. Wv 
 heart melted like wax. ^fy lkth<:r'.s prayers- my mother'^ 
 jirayera — the grief and sorrow i liad <.;aused th-um — tlu-ir 
 often mlviglcd and bittt^r tenrflon my acc.rmri< — 8al>bath«J 
 at home — family worship in my father'? hovise — my sina, 
 my lieinouR Kins, against God, against uiy dear parentt*, 
 against many youthful companion*?, aiid against tuy own 
 poul — all came crowding upon my nunembrance and 
 heart, until I trembled in view of the wiaih of Almightv 
 God, which I so ju.stly deserved to .sullVr, and which I 
 thought had then ovei'takcn me. 
 
 ■" At first my companions mocked at my difirrepH ; but 
 
4 iiii: ;m>li.ii:r 
 
 as my convictions and distress inercnscd, tijev I>ccan)e 
 fri^liteuL'd, and left nic. When" I recovered strength 
 Bnlficient to rise — for 1 hail fallen to ilie earth — 1 walked 
 a-; 1 could towards the place whence the sound pvoceed- 
 i>d, where I heard the vcice of a preiicher: it was ft 
 jnissionarv there prenching to a congregation of Negroes. 
 Uiiperceived, I lav under a bush and listened to the 
 remainder of the sermon, and lieavd also when they were 
 again to n^eet for worship. It would he imposo^sble to 
 ilescribe how my nights and days were pasf»ccl til! then. 
 1 had no Bible, nor was there in the reginunit a nian to 
 whom I (ionld uiake kiu>wn my distress, or apply for 
 advice and instruction. 
 
 " At tlie time appointed, hy the missionary, I was again 
 accreted behind my bush, where, from day to day, 1 had 
 spent much time in almost hopeless prayers and tears. 
 The missionary came, but he brought no comfort, no con- 
 solation to me ; and at night I returned to ray quarters 
 as one that liad no hope. O that n.ight — never to by- 
 forgotten while I have a mind to think. I felt, yea. I 
 believed, that God had hid his face from my tears, and 
 shut out for ever my pivnyers iVom hi^i. The sermow 
 serveii only to call up to my view freah guilt, and more 
 terribly make manifest my exposure to the 'wrath to 
 come.' As the messenger of God, it 'found me out,.^ 
 and cried to niy heart, 'Thou art the man!' As the 
 '■sY-.0i5\< of the Spirit/ it jntlicted new wounds upon ray 
 >nind, and tore more widely open suck as already bled, 
 till, as the royal Tsalmist says, the 'pains of hell goi 
 hold upon me; I fovind trouble and sorrow.' 
 
 " For some time, desi>air and death "were before me; I 
 refused to eat my I read, because of ' a fearful looking I'o-c 
 of jiuigment and fiery indignation which shall devour 
 the adversaries. ' Avvhil, iadeed. was the reahasation 1 
 ^hen experienced of that ti-uth> 'There is no peace, saith 
 iny G(xl, to the wicked.' There w:as :»ioi>).^ fO:r me: in my 
 thoughts fef Go<l none; in the rtK'olleK^tions .( had of hia 
 word nwie; none in iny. own lieart. I could fhid none on 
 «-arth — i cs\.pected none in heaven. Thougiit.' o!" the ^'a.?; 
 were dreadlid—l trembled at the yirospect of the fuhive^ 
 \ viias al'raid lo look in' to Goi.l — I thoiiirht hitu my enemy. 
 
TITF sOT.DTFT?. t» 
 
 Peiislj I tjo\\](\ no( — iirny I ilureJ not — txhd what to do 'to 
 be saved,' 1 knew not. 
 
 " My former conipanione now came about me in crowds, 
 some coax inc; me, others swearing at n\e, many laugliinpj 
 at me, but all nxjcking me. V/ith much feeling, I re- 
 minded them of the fearful extent to which I had run in 
 the ways of tin and folly — that they had prompted me 
 on, and madly followed after — and that it was of the 
 'Lord's mercy we were not conf^umedl" I fearlessly 
 made known to them the change Avhich had taken place 
 in my mind : what now v/ere my views of the sins with 
 which we were then chargeable — of myself and of 
 them nn tranj?gro8?;or8 in the Bight of f Jod ; and what 
 wunld be the sad and everlasting consoqnences, if Ave 
 persisted in onr wicked conrnes, and refnsed to re-ient 
 and turn unto the Lord. "With many tears, I told them 
 how 1 trembled before God lor myself and for them; that 
 I would cheerfully submit to any punishn^ent they could 
 inflict upon me, could I undo the sins they had led me to 
 commit, and avert from them and myself the misery to 
 which the guilt of those sins exposed us as transgressors 
 of the righteous laws of God, destroyers of the souls of 
 others, a;id despisei^ of his Son Jesus Ciirist. I spoke 
 1o thom of sin, of hell, of God, of the juelgment to come, 
 Hi T then felt, and which they too felt; and I continued 
 speaking, until not a voice was to be heard except my 
 own; yea, till all, either from fear or shame, walked off 
 and left me, a ' prey,' as before, to my own fears and 
 sorrows. The whole barracks now rang of the new 
 'Christian.' 
 
 " I had gone to ahnost every man in (he regiment, in- 
 quiring for a Bible ; but no Bible was to be found. An of- 
 ficer hearing I was in search of a Bible, sent me word to 
 call U}>on him, and he would give me one. My )ieart leaped 
 for joy, and without delay I waited upon the oflicer to re- 
 ceive it. t[e sat lor a time starring at uie, then handed 
 lao a small package, carefully wrapped u]> and sealed, with 
 the inscription ' Iloly Bible" written upon it. I thanked 
 him, praised the Lord, and hastened back to the barrack- 
 room. You may imagine what was my (hsappolntment 
 aud mortitication. when, upon opeidng the v.-rapper,! 
 
h Til J-: jsohi»ij;iL 
 
 i'ound, instead of a ' Holy BibU^,' fi dirty pack of o:\i'de! 
 ThiB act of an oflficer, embolclened my enemios, and the 
 room ranjr with shouts of, 'Well done' — Served him 
 right' — ' Just as it should be, my boys,' etc. 
 
 "As a retreat from my persecutors. I now s])ent much 
 of my time in tlie woods, under the busli where I first 
 heard the missionary ])reaching to liis black con<];regation, 
 and wliere, in my supplications to God. I prayed to be di- 
 rected where f might find a Bible. You may judge of my 
 s\irprise, when, one day, on coming to my i»ush, I found 
 under it a new Bible I Overcome with joy, I fell upon my 
 knees, and thanked and praised God for thegifr.. AVhcii 
 I had finished my devotions, I heard a rustling among the 
 bushes, as if some one approached mc ; I looked wlience 
 the noise proceeded, and to my great joy, saw the mission- 
 ary. He informed me that, on. a ])revioufi occasion, 
 while waiting for his congregation, heoverheard me pray- 
 ing to God to direct me where I might obtain a Bible — ha 
 had brought meone, and had listened with pleasing emo- 
 tion to the thankfigiviiigs J had rendered to God for it. 
 It is needless to say that, ho iiK[iiired into my history and 
 the state of my mind, all of vvhich I told him, and tliat I 
 received from him such instruction and advice as encour- 
 aged and somewhat c/omibrted my drooping and discon- 
 solate spirit. He also prayed with lue, and frequently 
 atlerwards did we pray together. 
 
 " I continued to attend his ministry, therein seeking for 
 and waiting U}:>on the Lord: nor was it long till he appear 
 e<l for my help. 'Faith came by hearing,' so that I could 
 adopt the language of the apostle, and say. 'Therefore, 
 being justilied by faith, we hnvo. pe^ee with God, through 
 our l^ord Jesus C'hrist.' And, sir, it was indeed a peac<» 
 'passing all understanding,' staying and keeping the heart, 
 and filling it ' with joy unRpcakal)le. and full of g^ory.' 
 
 "The great questions now were, 'Whatsludl I rendci* 
 unto the Lord V ' Lord, what wilt thou have me to do?' 
 ' How can I best glorify thy great name, and do others 
 good ? For this p\n-pose I commenced, evening after even- 
 ing, reading my Bible in the barracks. ^J'his was met \)y 
 great o]ipoeition. To drown m}'- voice, some sung songs, 
 other.s cursed and swoit. and many laughed and moiked; 
 
a fvw, however, night after night, gathered around me and 
 listened with attention to the word olGod ; nor didlhev 
 hear. 1 hope, in vain, as it was not long before, with 
 pleasure, I saw the tear drop from the eye of one, and 
 another, nnd another.whileisome in silence retired to pray. 
 
 *' For some time I sutlered greatly for my religion ; 
 persecution rar. high against me, and those who could 
 and tjhould have shielded me, took pleasure also to vex 
 «nd trouble me. B\it in the Lord 1 had a 'friend sticking 
 closer than a brother," and nuiking ' his grace sutlicicntfor 
 me,' till by my steadfaf?t, untlincliing, and upright Chris- 
 tian conduct, i ])Ut persecution to shame — 1 might sayat 
 uu end. 
 
 " Finding tliat neither their frowns nor threats could 
 territy, nor their smiles allure me from the paths of virtue 
 and religion, and that they never set upon me for that 
 purpose but they had to retire foiled, and with a deeply 
 wounded conscience, the Lord asfeisting me to speak hia 
 word with all boldness, they let me alone— apparently 
 more afraid of my attacking them, than manifesting any 
 disposition to attack me. iSo completely did persecution 
 cease, that while some appeared to fear me, I found almost 
 all ready to do me a kindness. 
 
 ".Such had become the happy sate of things when 
 the regiment received order.s to return home. ^Ve were 
 soon cmbai ked, and when we reached our native c(Hintry, 
 I sought and obtained leave of absence, to visit my father. 
 To have an oj^portunity, sir, to fall at his feet, to confess 
 my sins against /ion, and to obtain /lis Ibrgiveness and 
 blessing, had long and ardently been desired by me. 
 
 " Filled with deepest contrition, and fondest hopes, I 
 haste<l home. At length thf 'natal village,' afar off, ap- 
 peared to view, bringing v\ itli it many a guilty and painful 
 reminiscence. It was at last reached and entered, aud 
 my lather's house appeared in the distance. "With a heart 
 iillcd with remorse, and impatient of an opportunity to 
 give ex})ression to its sorrows and regrets, 1 hastened ou 
 to fall at his feet. 
 
 "I had not proceeded far up the street, when I met a 
 fuiieral ; and recogni/-ing a near rclativfj \ralkiug bv the 
 head of tlie c "" ' huA' n^.'j'J!-'v:r.' I inqnir^^ ' ' 
 
],); 
 
 fiineval it \va^f, niul was told, alas, alas, that it was my 
 sainted father's!'' 
 
 His manly frame now shook and trembled. Teara> 
 many, flowed from liie eyes, and grief, tliat we all felt, 
 sealed his lips. When he had sutficicntly recovered so 
 as to be able to speak, he said, 
 
 " I turned about and followed after it as I could- At 
 the grave, I threw myself on his coiBn, scarcely consciona 
 what I did, or what I said. Those in attendance not hav- 
 ing before seen nie in my military costume, and not sus- 
 pecting but what 1 and my regiment were siill in the West 
 Indies, were some time in recognizing me; but no sooner 
 did they, than I could hear it murmuring around, 'lie 
 })as brought down their grey hairs with sorrow to the 
 grave.' 
 
 " ' Miserable comforters !' that their accusation had 
 been Ailse ! But alas, alas, it was too true. It is ynine — 
 the guilt of the premature death of both my dear parents* 
 
 "'Tell it unto sinners— tell, 
 I au) — 1 am out of belli' 
 
 And tell them more — infinitely more— that 1, 'through 
 grace,' grace reigning through the righteousness of God 
 my Saviour u.nto eternal life, though 'chief o\' sinners,* 
 can say, as Saul of Tarsus, ' Yet I obtained mercy I' 
 
 " 'J'hup, sir, I have given to you and to those present 
 a very brief, but faithful epitome of what 1 beliexe to be 
 the 'work of God' on my soul. You may havf thought 
 me long, but ' the half has not been told you.' The his- 
 tory of my sins against God — of such only as should not 
 be named — would mnke a book ; whilcthat of his goodness 
 and grace towards me would make another. 'Jo me belong 
 shame and confusion of hice onl}'. To God alone nuist be 
 ascribed the praise. By his G-Iace, I am what I am. 
 ' Not unto me, not unto me, but to God be the glory.'" 
 
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